[DD] Surveys

I love stories about being caught and humiliated

Thanks BabySofia!  Here's more! 😀 Chapter 12 : Little Space is Good Space! Welcome back, my JJ Little Bestie Fam.  At this point, are you now beginning to understand how all of these various events have each served a key role in the JJ Brand that you know and love today?  It all connects together like a little jigsaw puzzle.  Getting drunk on my first night in Philadelphia which resulted in a traumatic injury to my pelvis that I have no memory of.  All I remembered that night was crying in my room, covered in both pee and vomit, having no idea how that even happened in the first place.  All I know is that I was eating at one of Philadelphia’s fanciest restaurants with my sister and boyfriend and then I blacked out.  And because of that, I was completely oblivious to an injury that caused permanent damage to my nerves connecting my spinal cord to my bladder.  And just to let you know, my JJ Little Besties, it is currently 2028 at the time of my typing this and I have still not recovered or have shown any improvement from my untimely incontinence.  I have gotten used to it at this point, but even with it being nearly three months since the incident happened, past Jill was still struggling with the shocking reality of having virtually no bladder control and having to wear diapers for the rest of her life.  The stress that came with having to manage all of the diaper changes, practicing proper hygiene with each change, and hiding virtually every physical sign of wearing a diaper while in public from every nonconsenting adult that have no business to know about my bladder control issues. And while the cause of my incontinence was a very important puzzle piece, every other puzzle piece carries equal importance to creating the full picture of my journey from unfortunate college graduate to diapered celebrity influencer.  The continual nightly bed wettings leading to my need to wear diapers to bed every night.  The fortunate meeting of my boyfriend due to a blind date secretly planned by my sister and her boyfriend (thanks sis!).  This piece was also important as my boyfriend’s love of video games and streaming led to my gradual interest in video games and his influence in wanting me to start my own streaming channel on Twitch.  My gradual tolerance of wearing diapers nightly.  My final farewell to Cleveland and the embarrassing accident on the airplane that ensued.  My worsening incontinence discovered from my unfortunate “fireworks” during the Fourth of July.  My uneventful First Stream on Twitch.  My first fun Twins Days Festival with my sis and how I watched my self gradually lose what was left of my continence over the course of just one weekend.  My best and worst day coming from a job offer that I was forced to refuse due to a viral TikTok called “Diaper Girl” going viral.  And finally, my painful discovery of my diapered reality after discovering the truth about the cause of my incontinence.  And believe it or not, my JJ Besties, this puzzle is not finished.  There are more pieces to add to it.  This next one is how I came to slowly accept my incontinence by learning about the ABDL lifestyle and engaging in little space through regression therapy.  This is going to be a good one, my JJ Littles so grab your pacie and your blankie and let’s get started. Between my appointment with Dr. Davis and Dr. Saunders, I completely lost count of how many restaurants my sister took me to.  During the week, she simply invited me to have lunch with her on a dime.  On the weekends (and some Saturdays when I wasn’t on a date with Gary), she took me to a nice restaurant for dinner.  I knew exactly what she was trying to do.  She was using comfort food as a way of trying to make me feel better as I really felt worried and depressed about the hopeless state of my bladder.  The Pink Trests were certainly doing their job, but I was getting tired of changing my diapers all the time.  My twin sister’s food therapy just wasn’t working.  But I didn’t want her to think that I was showing no appreciation for what she was doing so I faked my very best smile that I could.  If my sister could see a smile on my face, it was just enough for her to get off my back about trying to butter me up concerning the diapered elephant in the room that I just didn’t want to talk about.  After all, I was inflicted with a serious condition of the bladder that I didn’t deserve.  Why was I of all people suddenly hit with such bad luck from a traumatic injury leading to my loss of bladder control?  All I wanted was to use the toilet normally like I used to.  I wanted to wear my Victoria’s Secret panties again and not experience any embarrassing accident in my pants while wearing them. But with all the days that have passed since my appointment with Dr. Saunders, I tried to look at things the way that she did.  I tried to follow the advice of Trisha Leeson and “own” my incontinence.  I even tried to take the suggestions that Glytter told me to heart.  After all, Glytter’s incontinence has been with her for at least 20 or more years at this point. Despite all of these suggestions that have been provided for me to use as coping mechanisms to live with my daily incontinence, nothing was working.  And with my Friday appointment with Dr. Stillman on September 29th, I was wondering if her advice was going to be just as ineffective. Since the very day that I broke the news to my sister about rejecting the job offer at CBS Philadelphia, she has not been leaving me alone about finding a job that can provide a “livable wage”.  Why couldn’t she just listen to me about Twitch, and how my streaming channel was beginning to grow out of control with more and more subscribers and generous bit donations every stream day?  But Twitch was totally out of the question.  Jen didn’t want to so much as hear the word mentioned in a sentence.  Since I showed her the TikTok video, all she gets is angry whenever I mention anything regarding Twitch.  Just seriously.  I am TIRED of her asking me to get a job when I am doing my Twitch job every freaking day during the week!  And in addition to Twitch, my JillianPlays YouTube channel was starting to pick up.  During the morning of my appointment with Dr. Stillman, my YouTube channel had 191,473 subscribers. And my JJ Little Besties, if you are curious about Diaper Girl, it had 256 million views and 27 million likes the Friday that I saw Dr. Stillman.  A lot of different countries all over the world had their own unique version of “Diaper Girl” at this point.  There was even an anime version, with cute anime girls all doing the “Diaper Girl dance” in jogging pants and diapers that were barely peeking out.  Salt-N-Pepa was making record album sales all because of “Diaper Girl”.  At this point, I have gotten over the frustration and anger that I initially had when I saw “Diaper Girl” for the first time.  For me, it was generating an unparalleled level of publicity to my Twitch Channel and my Discord has grown into one of the most active Discords in the history of the platform. All of a sudden, a loud voice broke me out of my reverie. “Jillian Jenners?” A woman called. I turned my back to see a woman in her mid-thirties standing next to me.  She had long locks of black hair that went down to her shoulders with a stylish prescription of bifocals.  She wore a teal blouse with a navy-blue skirt.  She stood a few inches taller than me.  I gave her a nervous glance.  “Hi?” “Jillian or Jill?” the woman asked in a warm and friendly voice. “Jill,” I said plainly. The woman offered me her hand and I shook it.  “Jill it is, then.  I am Dr. Bridget Stillman, and it is time for your session.  Follow me to my office and we can begin.” I nervously followed my therapist to her office, as a series of questions began to flood my mind.  What does this therapist want to know about me?  Why did I even ask for one in the first place?  Is she good at keeping secrets?  Each question that I tried to answer in my mind created ten additional questions.  By the time that I could even think of any additional questions, I was gently tapped on my hand by my therapist.  “Jill?  Jill?” I glanced at Dr. Stillman, giving her my full attention.  “Yes?” The doctor adjusted her glasses and smiled.  “I see that you are very deep in thought.  You almost look a little anxious.  There is no need to worry, Jill.  Everything that is discussed here is completely confidential.  Now, please take a seat.”  She pointed down to a soft tan couch and I sat down.  I glanced around her office and noticed a few bookshelves by her desk filled with various books pertaining to psychology and therapy.  Different fidget toys were laying all over her desk, along with a few board games that I noticed that were stacked on the top shelf of one of her bookshelves.  I even saw…No.  Was it?  Yes!  A Nintendo Switch!  I also noticed a few cabinets and drawers along with a few soft blankets and plush animals on the floor. When Dr. Stillman noticed my eyes moving all over the room, she nodded.  “Yes Jill.  There are a variety of different things that I do with my patients to help with their treatment.  Now please answer this for me before we get started.  Are you comfortable with me sitting beside you?” I nodded.  “Go on ahead.” My therapist sat beside me and gave me a focused stare, as if she wanted me to give her eye contact.  “Good.  Now we are not going to focus so much on your treatment today.  What I would like to do is get to know Jillian Jenners.  To make you feel more comfortable with sharing, I will share with you a little bit about myself.  You already know my name.  Bridget Stillman.  I was born an only child in Pittsburgh.  This bothered me as I never had any siblings of my own.  But I had a lot of cousins.  Then nieces and nephews.  I grew up with anxiety and needed treatment from a child psychologist.  That’s a little bit about me.  What can you tell me about yourself, Jill?” I nervously fidgeted, pressing my fingers back and forth over the fabric of my orange red skirt.  I began with the most obvious facts about myself.  That I had an identical twin sister named Jennifer and how we both grew up in Jasper, a small city in Indiana.  How both I and Jen had totally different interests growing up.  How I always loved watching the evening news growing up as a kid.  How my love for watching the anchor made me want to be a news anchor and to go to school to become one.  How I got my Bachelor of Science Degree in Communication.  How I was so broke that my sister had to bail me out and have me move in with her.  All while I shared this information, Dr. Stillman never once interrupted me.  She just kept letting me speak until I had nothing left to say. After I finished telling her about being taken in by my sister, I became silent.  What else was left to tell her, besides the most embarrassing things that I wasn’t at all comfortable with revealing?  I sighed, as I wasn’t about to give her any other details concerning my private life. Dr. Stillman glanced down at her notebook, which now had a copious amount of notes from all of the information that I provided her with.  “Very interesting, Jill.” She told me.  “Now, tell me.  Were you able to find any work yet?  You look a little uncomfortable.  Look at me, Jill.  I am a licensed therapist and because of HIPAA law, I cannot disclose information from any of my other patients to you.  What this means is that I will never share this information to any other patient.  If I violate this, I will lose my job.  Now Jill, can you tell me what you are uncomfortable with sharing?  Maybe you would like to play a round of Mario Kart 8 with me on the Nintendo Switch?” Those two words triggered all of the newfound passions that I discovered when Gary introduced me to video games.  While my first initial experience was when my sister was gone at work, he really got me to enjoy playing them to the point that I can’t stop playing now.  I gasped.  “You’re a gamer?” Dr. Stillman nodded.  “Yes Jill.  Video games is a big passion of mine when I am not holding therapy sessions with my patients.  It was my escape growing up since I had no other siblings.  I also watch other people play video games on streams.  Have you heard of Twitch?” I gasped.  At this point, the conversation was almost begging to be discussed.  Video games, and now Twitch?  This coincidence almost convinced me that Dr. Stillman could read my mind.  She was merely drawing me out with all the things that she could gather from her cognitive superpowers in mind reading.  “What?  You like video games and Twitch?” Dr. Stillman suddenly gave me a strange look.  “Wait a second, Jill.  You look familiar.   Very familiar.   Why do you look so familiar?  Wait!  Are you JillianPlays?” My heart sank.  My therapist’s rather unique hobby in playing video games and watching streams has exposed me in the most awkward and embarrassing way possible.  I nervously fidgeted on the couch seat as I felt my pink Trest diaper getting warm.  “Um…Yeah…” I muttered.  “Y-yes I…am.  I am…JillianPlays.”  I looked away from my therapist, as things were starting to get too embarrassing for me to tolerate. “Jill,” she said calmly.  “What is there to be ashamed of?  You have a wonderful channel with a following that’s growing every day.  Could it be…that Diaper Girl video on TikTok?” That triggered a level of anger in me that I didn’t even know was there.  “STOP!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.  My face was burning red, and I was now hiding my face in complete embarrassment.  And if that were not bad enough, I was about to cry. “Jill…Is it okay if I hug you?” I was still hiding my face from the therapist.  I didn’t want her to see the face of Diaper Girl, let alone JillianPlays.  “Yes…” my voice squeaked in a very high tone. The next thing that I could feel was the arms of my therapist wrapped around me.  And, as much as I was trying to fight tears, the flood gates opened.  A stream of tears came out of both my eyes as I began to sob loudly. My therapist gave me a soft pat on the back.  “Jill, it’s going to be okay.  What you are experiencing is painful trauma compounded with post-traumatic stress.  You have bottled all of these feelings inside of yourself, and now you are letting everything out.  Can I have your permission to try out a different treatment option?” My face was red and puffy, and it was hard to see my therapist with all the tears that were still coming out of my eyes.  I was short of breath and was starting to hiccup while still crying.  “I’ll try something different…sure…” Dr. Stillman pulled her office drawer opened and I saw her holding something that made me gasp.  I could not believe my eyes.  It was a yellow pacifier, but it was much bigger than a baby pacifier.  “Here.  I want you to begin sucking on this until you stop crying.  Take deep breaths through your nose and relax…” Still hiccup sobbing, I grabbed the pacifier at her request and began to suck on it.  As weird as it felt, I began to find myself starting to relax.  I only focused on breathing through my nose, but I felt very calm and for a moment, it was almost like my therapist was not even in this room.  I finally removed the pacifier and breathed out a sigh of relief.  Although my face was wet, I was no longer crying. “Feel better?” she asked me.  “Believe it or not, some adults with autism use pacifiers to help themselves calm down.  It seems to be very effective for you.  Do you think that this is something that you would want to try the next time that you are upset?” I could not believe it, but I was finding myself nodding up and down.  I was about to give her the pacifier back, but she balled up her hands and shook her head. “Keep it.” She told me.  “Use that pacifier the next time that you are upset.  Now, Jill.  I have another question for you.  Are you familiar with regression therapy?” I gasped.  This was the same thing that Glytter was talking about.  I nodded. “Okay,” she told me.  “Before I talk about this therapy, I would like to address some things that might be bothering you.  Now both Dr. Davis and Dr. Saunders have provided me with their notes from your recent appointments with them.  It appears that you were involved in a traumatic accident that has damaged the nerves in your bladder and now you are incontinent and need to wear protection 24/7.  All of the new changes that you suddenly have to adapt to along with that viral video has overwhelmed you with stress.  Now we can talk about these events at later appointments, but I would like to determine what is causing you the most damage so that I can begin to form a treatment plan for you.”  “Now you told me that you were familiar with regression therapy.  My reason for bringing this up is because this was prescribed to me to deal with my anxiety when I was little.  Now I still face anxiety problems as an adult, but what I find to be the most comforting is to be held by someone.  As a child, my mother began holding me again, and my mind began to return to where it was when I was only an infant, being held in my mother’s arms.  My husband does this to me now, but the place where your mind goes to find your little self inside you is called little space.  Finding this space is different for each person.  For you, it could be just using that pacifier when you are upset.  Is regression therapy something that you would want to try, Jill?” I gave her a soft nod.  “Can little space be something like peeing my diaper while I’m in bed?” I blurted. Dr. Stillman nodded.  “Yes.  Little space is anything that makes you feel like you are little again.  There are many triggers and it’s different for each person.  But no matter who you are, little space is very cathartic.  Little space is good space.” I found myself blurting out more information regarding little space.  I told my therapist about Glytter and how she was also incontinent like I was and how she used regression therapy.  I told her about the ABDL diapers that she purchased for me and how she planned to buy me some additional things to promote that little space. “It’s good that you have a friend that understands little space,” she told me.  “Let her help you find that space and use it to heal your inner child.  There are still a lot of hidden traumas that we need to talk through and discuss, but if regression therapy is something that you want to do, we can discuss all the things that we want in that therapy and I will formulate a treatment plan with those things that you want.  Consider that your homework assignment for next week’s session.  Do you want just a pacifier?  Some patients have gone all the way and have dressed themselves up like babies and live like this full time with their own caregiver to take care of them.  Maybe you don’t want to be that extreme, but this is your treatment.  What does Jillian need to best treat what ails her?  Considering your huge Twitch following…” “And YouTube following,” I added.  “Almost 200,000 subscribers.” Dr. Stillman nodded.  “And YouTube following, paying for therapy is not going to be an issue for you.  As a bit of advice, I would invest some of the money that you are making to secure your finances.” I nodded and took all this to heart.  I shoved the yellow pacifier into one of the smaller pouches in my backpack purse (AKA diaper bag) and zipped up the pouch.  I thanked my therapist for the appointment and told her that I would work on the “homework assignment” that she had for me. For today’s stream, I decided to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons for one more day before starting on anything new.  From numerous suggestions on my Discord, I would be starting on every single 2D Mario game before Super Mario Bros. Wonder released on October 20th.  Super Mario RPG would release on November 17, 2023, so I would want to play the original SNES version before then (Gary could lend me his SNES and game so I could play it without any issues of trying to acquire the game for myself.) After the stream, I focused my attention on a few more boxes that Glytter sent me.  I opened up all of the boxes and could not believe the contents that I found: An adult sized changing mat from Rearz.  A pink Simba glass feeding bottle plus an ABDL baby bottle that looked like it could hold twice as much fluid as the Simba bottle.  A few different onesie bodysuits in different colors and patterns.  A few were from LittleforBig.  A few more were from Land of Genie.  And still a few more were from Onesies Down Under.  Altogether, there were at least 20 different onesies that she sent me.  She also sent three different cotton footed sleepers from Rearz.  And, as promised, I found her Glytter pacifier, which was skillfully crafted, with different decorations around the ring.  I could see the beautiful glitter around the pacifier.  It almost looked too good to suck on.  Along with the pacifier came a few pacifier clips from LittleforBig.  Feeling very self-conscious, I said good night to my sister before beginning my regression therapy treatment. Before I began dressing up in the baby clothes, I took the dish soup from the kitchen and began washing the pink Simba bottle in my bathroom.  The door was closed, so my sister didn’t see me taking the bottle into the bathroom.  After giving it a thorough wash, I filled two glasses of milk from the kitchen and poured enough milk to fill the Simba bottle.  Realizing that I only needed one glass, I poured the extra milk back into the milk jug and placed it back in the fridge.  I then took the pink Simba bottle full of milk into my bedroom. From there, it began.  I laid out the Rearz Little Monsters changing mat and got a Tykables Animooz diaper out of my closet.  I undressed myself and laid on the changing mat.  I removed the soggy pink Trest diaper and used all my changing supplies to wipe and apply cream to myself before powdering the new diaper.  I then diapered myself and put on a LittleforBig onesie that was white with yellow stars, blue clouds, and blue sleeves with white polka dots.  A feeling of excitement came upon me as I began to snap the three yellow crotch buttons.  SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!  The three buttons were securely snapped and the onesie was now securely fastened over my Animooz diaper.  I felt constrained, but in a good way as I felt the snugness of the onesie hugging around the crotch of my diaper and up to my back.  I tied the new Glytter pacifier around a yellow pacifier clip and clipped the pacifier ribbon to the collar of my onesie.  I turned off the lights and I got into my queen bed, holding the pink Simba glass feeding bottle.  I got into the covers and I began to suck on the feeding bottle.  The same feeling of calmness came over me as the yellow pacifier from earlier.  The short intermittent gulps of milk entered me as I began to feel…different.  I no longer felt like an adult.  I was now filled with a sense of excitement and wonder.  Like everything felt like it was brand new once again.  I…I couldn’t believe it.  After my bottle of milk was gone, I began to coo and babble.  I kicked my feet up and down and suddenly felt anxious.  The kind of anxiety that an infant would feel from being over stimulated.  I immediately stuck my Glytter pacifier in my mouth and my infantile anxiety was gone.  This…was good.  I could already feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder.  This…was little space. “Little space IS good space.” I said.  But if you were to hear it, it would’ve sounded like “libble spahs ih gud spahs” since my words sounded like a baby trying to speak for the first time. I woke up and realized that I was still wearing my baby clothes from the night before.  I yanked the ribbon on the pacifier clip and grabbed the Glytter pacifier.  Smiling, I popped it in my mouth and began sucking on it. I was in such a calm trance that I didn’t even realize that the door to my room cracked open.  All of a sudden, I heard a shout from my twin sister. “JILLIAN!  WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!!” I spit the pacifier out of my mouth and glanced at my sister, who turned the light on in my room. Jen’s mouth was wide open as she glanced at the changing mat on the floor, the empty pink Simba feeding bottle, and the top of my onesie with the ribbon of my pacifier clip sticking out from my collar.  “Jillian Marie Jenners, WHAT are you doing dressed up like a baby?  Just look at you!  You are wearing a onesie with a pacifier clipped to it!  You have a changing mat on the floor with an empty baby bottle!  Why, I don’t even know what to say right now…” I held the pacifier in my hands as part of the ribbon dangled down.  “I do.  My therapist recommended regression therapy and to wear all these things so that I can find my little space…” “So you just dress up like a baby to do that?” Jen shouted.  “Jill, I know that you are incontinent, but that doesn’t make you a baby.  But this?  You need to look at yourself in a mirror!  Why Gary, your boyfriend?  He would DUMP you if he found out that you were into doing this.  Can you please stop?” “And stop my treatment?” I said, scowling.  “This is what my therapist recommended to me.” “And THIS is what I recommend to you!” Jen countered.  “Get a different therapist!  She’s a quack, Jill!  Just tell me.  How old are you?” “21…” I muttered. “Well, you could’ve fooled me!” Jen said.  “Jill, infants wear onesies, suck on pacifiers, and are fed with baby bottles.  Are you an infant, Jill?” Having given my sister’s question a little thought, a mischievous smile came across my face.  “Yes, I am!  Look at me!  I am baby Jill!  Goo goo ga ga!” “Stop!” Jen shouted, looking even more upset.  “You are NOT an infant!  I am going to leave this room and I want all of those baby clothes off!” I sighed.  “Really?  Jennifer, this is MY room!” “And this is MY apartment!” Jen said, before realizing the mistake that she had just made.   “Wait…Your name is on the co-lease so you have equal ownership…Fine Jill!  If you want to dress up like a baby, do it in the privacy of this room!  But I DON’T want to see you prancing around the apartment in a onesie and…” She tugged back the underside of the onesie to expose the padded butt of my diaper.   “What is this?  They make baby diapers for ADULTS?  I am so disgusted and mortified right now.  Just…get it back off and put your adult clothes back on.  Your pink Trests are fine…Plus those NorthShore MegaMaxes.  I just don’t want to see those baby clothes AGAIN!”  Jen stormed off and firmly closed the door behind her, with her angry voice still trailing off in the distance. “I can’t believe it!!!!  My twin sister is dressed up like a baby!  URRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!” I hastily put away all of my ABDL paraphernalia, cramming everything into the closet.  The changing mat, the onesie, the pacifier, and the Pink Simba feeding bottle (I will wash this when my sister is at work). The rest of the morning felt awkward, as my sister began to gripe over my lack of a real job and how my streaming wasn’t going to pay the bills.  I was showered and in a new lime green skirt (Skirts were all I wore now, considering how easy they hide my diapers.)  and a black Ann Taylor ruffle button top. Instead of the usual date with Gary, both he and Joey decided to have another Mario Kart night at the Jenners Twins apartment.  I made absolutely sure that all of my ABDL things were hidden in my closet. At around 3:00, everyone came over.  Joey, Trisha, Bradley, Gary, and Mark.  Joey and Gary brought a few 12 packs of soda to share. We all took turns playing four-player Mario Kart.  During the evening that I played, something crazy happened.  I actually got first for the first time!  I came in first with Princess Peach and Gary came in second with Mario.  I just couldn’t believe it. Just about everyone knew about me wearing diapers at this point.  Joey knew, since he watched the VOD during the same day of my embarrassing wardrobe malfunction and discovered the Diaper Girl TikTok.  Just about?  Okay.  Everyone knew because of Diaper Girl.  And considering its popularity at this point in time, everyone has seen Diaper Girl by now.  So, when I announced that I was heading off to the bathroom, they just knew that I was going in there to change my diaper.  Minutes later, I came back out in a fresh diaper, which I could probably wear for the rest of the night, considering how crazy the absorbency is on these Trest diapers. Gary quietly mouthed to me, as if to say, “In a fresh one?”.  I gave him a light nod. The night went on as we guzzled soda, ate pizza, and played Mario Kart to our hearts’ content.  Or, in Joey’s case, it was to our “Karts’” content.  I never got first again that night, but managed to snag second a few times, as my drifting skills were improving and as I grew more familiar with the tracks, my performance was greatly improving. I then saw another surprise.  Trisha actually came in first!  Her Isabelle beat Joey, who came in second as Donkey Kong, followed by Bradley, who came in third as Yoshi. The other thing that I noticed about Trisha was how she occasionally looked at me when I was playing.  I also noticed something very weird about her that evening.  During the entire time that she was over, I did not see her get up once to use the bathroom.  And while it might have just been my imagination, I couldn’t help but notice a crinkling sound coming from her when she walked around the living room.  Could Trisha possibly be wearing diapers?  I don’t have any idea.  Since Bradley was always around her and I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of her boyfriend, I never asked her about the suspicions that I had regarding her undergarments in question.  Besides, Trisha too wore a skirt like I did, so if she was wearing a diaper, it was not at all noticeable. During a few moments while we ate our pizza, both Gary and Joey mentioned how popular my stream was.  Jen then shut the two down, expressing her disapproval by mentioning how something like that was not going to make me a lot of money and that I should get a “real job”.  Before Gary and Joey could counter Jen’s argument, Jen warned them to not make any more remarks about Twitch and that the discussion was over. At around 11:00, both Jen and I politely “kicked” everyone out.  Like the last meeting, which was eons ago considering how busy everyone was during the summer, we all agreed to have another Mario Kart evening again.  Perhaps, at Joey’s suggestion, we should do this once a month.  With that, the next Mario Kart weekend would be in October, and it would be a costume party with it being close to Halloween. After everyone left, my twin sister still looked quite annoyed. I glanced at her with a puzzled look on my face.  “Jen,” I addressed her.  “Just what is your problem?” Jen sighed.  “I don’t know…” she said sarcastically.  “Joey only mentioned your Twitch stream about TEN different times!  Jill, I’ve had it.  I want you to close your Twitch account and get a REAL job!” My heart skipped a beat.  “No!  I am NOT closing my account!” “Jill!” she shouted.  “You need to get a real job!  Just tell me.  How many times have you looked for work this week?” “None…” I told her.  “Because my job is Twitch.” “Not anymore!” she told me.  “We are going into your room and you’re going to close your account.  Then on Monday, I will want you to have a job by the end of the day.” I smiled.  “Then I will just do YouTube…” “No!” Jen shouted.  “You will also close your YouTube account!  It’s a waste of time!” I sighed.  “You who are so good with money…. Do you have any idea how much money I’m making doing this?” Jen fiercely shook her head. I gave my twin sister a smirk.  “Fine.  If you want to close all of my accounts, then I want you to look at the balances before you do.  Sound fair?” Jen nodded.  “Sounds fair to me!  I’m going to show you just how little you’re making.  That a Twitch job is a waste of time, and you should really try to get another anchor job…” I laughed.  “They all know about Diaper Girl.  I could never get another anchor job.” Jen walked to my bedroom and glanced at my laptop setup.  “Show me your accounts.” I got onto my Twitch account and showed her the income that I was making from September alone. “WHAT?” Jen gasped.  “This can’t be right!  The number I’m reading is $74,818.80!  That has to be just this year, right?” I shook my head with a smile.  “Nope.  That’s the amount of money that I made from just a month.” Jen gasped.  “ONE…month?  That’s half of my salary…in one month!  Then how much did you make last month?” “Let’s see…” I said, smiling.  “August.  I made $6,680.25 in August.  And if we include my first month, I have made $81,623.80 off of Twitch so far.  I’m already making almost $30,000 more than my job offer, which was about $56,000…” Jen was now speechless.  She was pointing her index finger at me with her mouth wide open.  “Wow!” she then grabbed me by the arms and began shaking me in excitement.  “Why didn’t you tell me that you made this much off of streaming?!!!  Why, the year is not even over yet!  Who knows?  By next month, your one-month paycheck could equal more than my year’s salary!  Jillian!  Why didn’t you tell me?” I gave my sister a glare, looking a little pissed.  “Why?” I scowled.  “I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen to me.  Now, are you going to close my account?” Jen shook her head.  “Why would I do that? If these are actual numbers, then you’re making more than what I could even imagine!” I gave my sister another smirk.  “We’re not done.  We still need to ‘close’ my YouTube account…” I showed Jen the adsense earnings from YouTube, from all the views that it generated so far. “$11,017.50 so far this year. Not bad for a channel with 200,000 subscribers.  I already have a few offers for my first sponsorship.  It’s just a little more but if you add it to Twitch, that’s $92,641.30.  It’s not quite your income, but it’s a start…” “And how do you get all that money on Twitch?” Jen asked me. “Subscriptions and donations.” I told her.  “Do you see the numbers?  I currently have 592,891 followers, and 28,216 have subscriptions.  About 85% of these subscribers have a Tier 1 Sub, which is $4.99 per month.  80% use their free Twitch Prime account.  What this means is I earn $2.50 from each one of those Tier 1’s.  Twitch gets the other half.  I have already reached partner last month.” Jen gave me a skeptical look.  “Okay.  To ensure that this is for real, I want to see your bank account.” Back in mid-July, Jen helped me open a Philadelphia Federal Credit Union account.  I opened up the PFCU app on my phone and pulled up my account.  “Read it and weep!” I shouted. Jen glanced at the balance and gasped.  “$86,473.52?!  Okay!  I believe you!  Go!  Keep making money from Twitch and YouTube and put me in the poor house with my pathetic earnings as a CPA.  Now Jill?  Get back to work!” After that, Jen was silent, and I could see the tears that were coming out of her eyes.  “My sister is making so much money from just playing video games all day…”  She then gave me a serious look.  “Don’t spend too much of that.  You are going to be taxed on your earnings at the end of the year…” I nodded and patted my hands on my sister’s back.  “I couldn’t believe it either at first.  Here…” I gave my sister a tissue and she wiped the tears out of her eyes, before blowing her nose. To quickly summarize Sunday, I went to church with my sister and Joey again and we had a delicious breakfast.  The rest of the day was spent enjoying some more Animal Crossing with my sister. When Monday came around, Jen wanted to personally speak to my therapist, since I had her listed as my representative.  After an hour-long conversation with her, she pulled me aside during my stream break. “Jill,” she addressed me.  “I talked to Dr. Stillman, and she told me to support your treatment.  She explained to me regression therapy in more detail than what I cared to even know.  Anyway, go ahead and do what is good for your mental health.  But let me warn you.  None of our friends can know.  Joey can’t know.  Gary can’t know.  None of our friends!  She spoke about the rule of consent and how my initial attitude towards your treatment demonstrated non-consent.  She expressed to me the importance of supporting you as a twin sister and how damaging it would be to discourage your treatment.  Now, does it mean that I like your decision to both dress and act like a baby?  No.  It’s a tough pill for me to swallow.  I don’t know if I can get used to seeing you act like a baby, but I will at the very least tolerate it for your sake.  I want to support you, even if it means something that I don’t totally agree with.  So get your baby things on after the stream.  Just don’t come crawling to me if you need that diaper changed.” I nodded.  “I would never ask you to do that.  I mean, I have been changing my own diapers since my incontinence began.  Thanks for supporting me, sis.”  I gave her a hug and had a quick dinner, before my stream break ended. I continued playing through Super Mario Bros. again and managed to get through most of The Lost Levels by the time the stream was over. After the stream, I put on all of my baby things and said good night to my sister, fully dressed in the same onesie and pacifier as the night before. “Cute…” my sister said, indicating a strong tone of sarcasm in her voice.  “Well, my little baby sister is ready for beddie bye!”  She saw the empty pink Simba feeding bottle that I was holding.  “Aw…Is my baby sis going to get a milky baa baa?” I nodded with a loud cooing sound. “Well, joking aside Jill, I hope that you have a wonderful sleep tonight.  Again, this baby thing and regression therapy is still very weird to me, but if it’s going to help you heal, I don’t want to discourage that.  Nini my baby sis!” “Nini Jin!” I shouted in my toddler voice. I waddled over to the fridge and filled my pink bottle with milk. I then entered my bedroom and got into my bed.  I sucked down the bottle, feeling a sense of calmness come over me.  I felt my adulthood vanishing before my very eyes.  All of my senses were intensified, and I felt like an infant again.  I cooed, babbled, and sucked on my pacifier when the infantile anxiety got the best of me. Having thought of what Dr. Stillman told me, she was indeed right.  Little space is good space. I calmly suckled my pacifier and before I even knew it, I was fast asleep.

LILA’S 10th BIRTHDAY   Lila was in the examination room with Cynthia.  This was right after they walked into the room. Cynthia removed Lila’s pink corduroy dress to reveal a plain white onesie that she usually had underneath Lila’s clothes.  She unsnapped the crotch buttons and folded back the flaps to reveal Lila’s Size 3 Pampers Cruisers Diaper.  She sat aside the pink corduroy dress and sat Lila in her lap.  She could feel the soft cloth backed bottom of Lila’s diaper as she anxiously sat there.  She took notice and handed Lila her pacifier.  Lila grabbed it and suckled it and she began to calm down. Lila glanced at her mother as she suckled her pacifier.  She didn’t know why, but for some reason, she didn’t feel comfortable when she made her annual trip to the pediatrician.  She felt calmer now and began to smile at her mother through her pacifier. Cynthia checked her cell phone for any new messages from John.  Because Lila had an annual checkup, she cleared out her calendar so that she could make this appointment with her.  While she had the option of having Madeline attending Lila’s appointments for her, she didn’t like the idea of her being her Medical Power of Attorney.  Yes, she regularly took care of Lila now while she worked during the day, Lila was still her daughter regardless of how busy her life has become now.  These annual checkups that she took Lila to were a joke now.  Since Lila never grew because of her wish, why bother?  And since she knew that Dr. Sterling was going to read Lila’s birthday as May 19, 2029, it was futile to argue with her.  Although she knew Lila’s true age, she always had to play along for the pediatrician.  Afterall, Lila was still two because of Lila’s wish.  And not only was Lila two physically, but she was two legally.  This bothered Cynthia since only her, her family, and her close friends knew Lila to be the “little girl that never grew up”.  And considering that her behavior has not changed in at least five years, she was now resigned to the sad reality that Lila is going to behave like a toddler for the rest of her life.  Lila was not in trouble now, as she could not treat Lila as a preteen anymore.  Lila had no concept on what responsibility was. Just a carefree mind that loved to play.  As she glanced at her phone again, this was interrupted when she felt a growing warmth on her leg where Lila was sitting.  Great.  All that juice that she had before the appointment.  She’s peeing her diaper now.  Then she began to smell something fowl.  “Lila!” Lila sighed as she glanced at her mother.  At this point, Lila’s bladder seemed to be more like an infant’s.  While most toddlers knew when they had to use the bathroom, Lila had no sense of this anymore.  There was no feeling in her bladder.  Her bladder and bowels just release whenever something needs to come out.  So Lila doesn’t know that she went until she feels it.  Now, Lila was feeling a strong wet and squishy mass forming from the pee combining with the SAP powders to form gel.  She then felt an uncomfortable squishiness that began to smell more and more.  A smell that she was used to, so she didn’t notice.  At this, Lila began to wail. Cynthia sighed.  She seriously did not have the patience to change Lila’s diaper right before the pediatrician was going to see her.  Yes, Lila was two years old, but some of her behavior felt more like an infant than a toddler.  Her preference to breastfeed still.  Her need to still drink from a bottle, since she had no concept to handle a sippy cup without spilling it.  She just kept removing the top and spilling the contents, which tested the patience of both Cynthia and Madeline.  She just knew that Lila would fall out of a bed, so she still sleeps in a crib.  Turning her attention back to the wailing child, she laid Lila on the examination table and reached into her diaper bag.  She pulled out a Pampers Size 3 Cruiser. Lila glanced at the new diaper that her mother was holding and saw the familiar light coming from it.  While it was indeed another magic diaper, Lila didn’t know that it was called that anymore.  The magic diaper still helped Lila every day and was now like a third parent to her.  She continued wailing as she watched her mother remove her wet, soggy, and messy diaper… 1 week ago Lila was laying on a changing table in her changing room.  Madeline was changing her diaper.  It was a wet, soggy, and stinky diaper, considering what she had last night before her 10th birthday… A stream of tears was coming out of Lila’s eyes.  When Madeline saw the tears, she took Lila’s pacifier and stuck it in her mouth.  Lila’s tears vanished as she contentedly suckled her pacifier.  She watched Madeline skillfully change her diaper like a pro.  In just under two minutes Madeline cleaned, wiped, powdered, and changed Lila’s diaper. Madeline snapped the crotch of Lila’s cute animal onesie back up and pulled her purple dress back down.  She picked up Lila and smiled.  “Did you have a nice nap, Lila dear?” Lila gave her nanny the biggest smile.  She removed her pacifier and smiled.  “Nye nap nannah!” Madeline carried Lila towards the door leading to her main bedroom.  “You’re the big birthday girl today!  10 years old, Lila!  You’re getting up there!” “Ten yaz uld!” Lila repeated.  At this point, Lila just didn’t know what ages meant anymore.  Due to her daily routine and the wish that she made with the magic diaper, her two-year-old mind never really developed that much.  It never allowed any room for anything new.  And with her being so used to everything, it was almost like Lila was slowly regressing back to infancy.  Over the past year.  Her taste in toys has slowly regressed to more of the kind of toys that older infants like to play with.  Her speech regressed a little more as well.  She babbled more but could still say a lot of words.  She still was very much a two-year-old, but the constant habits and routines have stunted her development and were almost pushing it in the opposite direction. Lila’s magic diaper flashed brightly underneath her dress.  It was still there for Lila, and would always be there for her.  Lila’s third parent always kept playing games with Lila at night, and she still made her wishes, but they were more the kind of wishes that she made that the magic diaper did to manage Lila’s needs.  Her nightly bottles, her occasional sleep wishes that went out of control, and the things that Lila needed, but were not within her reach.  Her rattles.  Her stuffed animals.  Her pacifiers.  All of Lila’s wishes were made around these kinds of needs now.  It was almost like Lila was in a prison of her own making now.  Lila so earnestly wanted to be a two-year-old, and now she gets to be one forever.  But none of her thoughts were ever of despair or regret.  But always the continuous and perpetual mind of a toddler.  An innocent and carefree mind that never thought of anything pertaining to adulthood. And like a few years before, Lila was not even aware of the slow and steady pee that trickled into her diaper.  It was very slow and only came in little drops.  Yet Lila did not notice a bit of it going on.  With her mind not remotely thinking of potty training anymore, her bladder was more like that of an infant now. Madeline carried Lila out of her room, and saw Angela in the hallway, with a set of twin girls running right next to her.  She gasped when she saw the two laughing as they tried to keep up with their mother.  “Aw…” Madeline said looking at them.  “Your twin girls…Shauna and Sidney, right?” Angela nodded.  “Yup!  They’re 22 months!  They’re almost two!” Madeline sat Lila down and she walked over to the twins.  Both twins stood almost three inches taller than Lila now, since Lila never grew a single inch since her second birthday 8 years ago. “Why-wa!” Shauna shouted. “Nu!” Sidney shouted, correcting her sister.  “Is Lie-la!” Shauna, however, just smiled and looked at Lila again.  “Why-wa…” Lila smiled and glanced at the twins.  “Sah-nah?  Sinney?” Sidney shook her head.  “Nu Lie-la.  I Sidney.  See Shauna…” Shauna nodded and smiled.  “I Saw-nah…” Angela grinned.  “You’re all so cute!  Here.  Let’s go downstairs and get ready for Lila’s 10th birthday party…” Bradley approached Angela, holding two pacifiers.  “I’m surprised that Shauna and Sidney didn’t cry for these…” Angela sighed.  “No.  If they see them, they’ll want…” Sidney glanced at the pacifiers that her father was holding.  “Nan nan!” Shauna too, noticed what her father was holding and began to whimper.  “Nan nan dah-dee!” Bradley sighed, and handed each of the twin girls their pacifiers.  The yellow one to Shauna and the green one to Sidney. This made Lila want her pacifier.  Fortunately, Madeline had Lila’s clipped to her dress.  She tugged the ribbon and gently placed the pacifier in Lila’s mouth.  All these girls suckled their pacifiers as they were carried downstairs for Lila’s 10th birthday party.  Bradley carried Sidney.  Angela carried Shauna.  Madeline carried Lila. Jenny waited at the foot of the stairs, smiling.  “I hope that your mom and dad are almost home!  It’s about to start!” Madeline nodded.  “Our little birthday girl needed to take a nap.  She’s all rested now…” Angela nodded.  “Same here for the twins.  Both Shauna and Sidney look rested and look ready to take on the world!” Lila smiled as she saw decorations everywhere, leading into a much larger room… Madeline carried Lila into the larger room, which was quite dark.  Lila was anxious, and she continued to suck on her pacifier.  She began to whimper, as her nanny carried her deeper into the dark room… “SURPRISE!  HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, LILA!!!!” All of the lights turned on, with Cynthia and John both standing there, happily glancing at their daughter, who now looked more relieved.  Her anxious look immediately became a smile that was on the verge of bursting into laughter. Along with Lila’s parents, Lila’s various other friends from her past birthday parties were present.  Tonya was there with her younger brother Alex, along with her parents Rob and Stacy. Brittany and Stephanie, Lila’s former daycare friends that were now in the fifth grade, were also at the birthday party.  Angela and Bradley’s friends Tess and Jess were also able to make it.  Camden’s friend Freddy also came to the party as well. Tonya ran up to Lila and smiled when she saw just how much taller she was now.  She was now 52 inches tall, compared to Lila’s stagnant height of 30 inches.  She effortlessly picked up the birthday girl and smiled.  “Another year older and  you still haven’t grown at all…” Tonya said with a grin.  “It’s okay, Lila.  I know that you don’t grow because of your special condition…”  She stopped when she noticed a bright flash coming from underneath Lila’s purple dress.  In fact, she noticed the flash when she first picked Lila up.  “Lila, what’s that flash coming from underneath your dress?  I first noticed it when I was three, and almost every one of your birthday parties that I have been to!” Stacy looked at Tonya and grinned.  “Tonya, there is no flash coming from Lila.  Let the birthday girl have her fun.” Tonya nodded and sat Lila down.  She saw the flash again just as she was setting her down.  That flash…The one that mom cannot see…It’s coming…from Lila’s diaper?  She then leaned down and whispered into Lila’s ear.  “I see the flash, Lila.  Is that why you never grow up?” But Lila only smiled when she heard the soft whisper enter her ear.  She didn’t know what Tonya was whispering.  She just loved the sound of the whisper.  At this, she giggled and began to take in all the various decorations that filled the great room.  Streamers, balloons, confetti, and more.   “Tonna fuh-knee!”  She got to her knees and began to crawl around the floor as she stuck her pacifier back in her mouth. Cynthia sighed when she saw her daughter on the floor again.  This was something that Lila was starting to do more often.  While Lila could still walk and run really well, she now preferred to crawl on the floor.  This was something that she started doing after they got back from Palm Beach last year after her ninth birthday.  Since then, Lila has covered more distance crawling than walking or running. Lila crawled over to her mother and looked up.  Her eyes focused on the one thing that her mother could provide her with.  She glanced up with an expectant look on her face.  “Milky mama!  Milky!”  She reached up, trying to grab her mother’s breasts. Cynthia’s face reddened and she smiled.  “Excuse me, everyone.  The birthday girl is thirsty…”  She scooped up Lila and left the room with her.  Her right hand propped up Lila’s diapered bottom as she began to untie her blouse and pulled her bra down.  She placed Lila between her breasts and Lila latched both her arms around them.  She suckled her mother’s left breast and she was splashed with a warm flow of her mother’s breast milk.  She giggled as she licked the delicious milk off her lips and continued to feed on them. Meanwhile, Cynthia patiently stood there, while she watched her birthday girl get her fill of the delicious milk that she had just for her.  It didn’t matter what Lila’s age was at this point.  Age was only a number, and it didn’t make any sense to use that number on Lila at this point.  While the calendar may have said that Lila was ten, every one of Lila’s cells in her body said that she was still two years old.  At this point, her aging has remained unchanged for the past eight years, with no sign of ever changing in the slightest.  Last year, Lila weighed 19 pounds and 13 ounces.  What will Lila weigh this year?  This was the only surprise, as while Lila’s height never changed, her weight has fluctuated in mere ounces over the years.  She has slowly been losing ounces since her fifth birthday.  How many more ounces will she lose this year?  She looked up at her daughter, who was starting to look full.  She also let go of her breasts and was starting to grab her left arm.  Nodding, she restrapped her bra and retied her blouse.  She cradled Lila in her arms and carried her back into the great room. While her mother was doing this, Lila still wanted a little more of that milk.  She looked down and smiled, remembering what her third parent told her: the magic diaper.  “Wiss bah-tah milky!” The magic diaper, which understood Lila’s wish, flashed and tickled Lila, granting her wish.  A bottle filled with her mother’s breast milk appeared in Lila’s hands and she began to drink that bottle down. Cynthia looked up and saw the bottle of milk that her daughter was now holding.  She knew that Lila made another wish, as she has done this from time to time.  She playfully poked Lila in the arm and smiled.  “Did my Lila make another wish?” Lila at least knew what this meant.  “Make nah-thah wiss!” she answered her mother. Cynthia nodded.  I’m fine with Lila making her wishes.  Just as long as they’re not harmful ones.  But even those ones are resolved pretty easily…Cynthia knew that Lila wasn’t making these wishes on her own at this point, and that someone was helping her.  Could it be the magic diaper?  It had to be, she thought.  She watched as Lila quickly finished drinking the baby bottle filled with breast milk that she wished for.  So much for a dry diaper.  She’ll be soaked before dinner.  When she needs a change, I’ll just get Madeline… Speaking of which, Madeline was standing right next to Cynthia.  “Is anything wrong?” she asked Cynthia.  “Does Lila need a new diaper yet?” Cynthia laughed.  “Not yet!  But after my breastfeeding her and that bottle that she drank, she’s going to need one very soon…” Madeline laughed.  “Okay Cynthia.  Being very skilled at this now, I would give her at least an hour…” Over the next hour, Lila played with Shauna and Sidney.  They were the only girls that were about her age that she could really connect with. Just as Sidney was handing Lila a red block, Madeline was there, standing next to Lila. Madeline stooped down and reached underneath Lila’s purple dress.  She pinched the diaper area and sure enough, it was very soggy and starting to sag a lot. Angela nodded when she noticed what Madeline was doing to Lila.  She approached Sidney and pinched her diaper underneath her cute green dress.  Just as she was pinching the soggy diaper, she caught a strong whiff coming from Sidney.  “Sidney?” she asked her.  “Did you make poopies?” Sidney gave her mother Angela the cute shy smile.  “Yes mommy.  I make poopies!” Angela reached down and began to tickle Sidney.  “Then let’s go change you, poopy girl!” At this, Sidney laughed.  “Poopy girl!” Shauna, who was nearby, laughed.  “Sid-nay poopy gul!” Bradley, who already did a diaper check on Shauna, nodded at Angela.  “Shauna’s just wet.  I’m going to take care of her.”  He then whispered into Angela’s ear.  “Does Angie Bear need a changie too?” Angela gave Bradley a playful shove and whispered back.  “I’m just a little damp, hun.  You can change me later…” Meanwhile, Madeline was finishing up changing a Pampers Cruiser Size 3 that Lila soaked from top to bottom.  And just as she was beginning to put a new diaper on Lila, a small bit of pee began to slowly trickle out of her.  She fastened the tabs to the landing zone and pulled Lila’s purple dress back down. For the remainder of the evening, Lila and all of the guests enjoyed all the festivities for Lila’s 10th birthday party.  There was children’s music playing from Cocomelon and a bounce house outdoors which they all spent a couple hours playing on.  There were a couple of hired actors that walked around dressed up in Bluey and Bingo costumes.  Lila got a real kick out of this and wanted to play with Bluey.  Finally, the actor in costume kindly waved goodbye to Lila and left the room with “Bingo”. As they all left, everyone at the party showed their appreciation for them by shouting “Hooray!” A little while later, it was finally time for dinner.  And with the mac and cheese dish being so popular from the past years, they had to make it again for Lila’s 10th birthday. Pierre came out, preparing some very special dishes that he made for Lila’s 10th birthday.  The Teddy Graham encrusted mac and cheese was back, since Lila liked it so much.  Small delicious morsels of cinnamon Teddy Grahams were crumbled over freshly grated Vermont Cheese that were melted to perfection. Every noodle was made from scratch.  A hint of milk made the mac and cheese creamy, and small shavings of roasted hot dog with freshly grated garlic made the dish simply delectable.  Finally, the noodles were carefully cut by the chef to be ready for Cynthia to feed her birthday girl.  In addition to this, Pierre blended in a few broken up pieces of chocolate Teddy Grahams, Oreos, and Chips Ahoy to make this mac and cheese a little sweeter for Lila’s 10th birthday. The adult version of the dish was also back.  It was prepared with seafood.  Crab, lobster and grouper were all mixed into the mac and cheese, with a little Cajun spice to give it an extra kick.  And because it was Lila’s 10th birthday, he went the extra mile by creating a Teriyaki version of the dish, and made a special cajun sauce for the cajun mac and cheese and a special wasabi ginger sauce for the Teriyaki version, using freshly made wasabi imported from Japan.  He explained to the guests that Japanese wasabi had an earthy and sweeter flavor to it and was nothing like the fake dyed green horseradish served in most restaurants. Everyone ate their dinner and enjoyed the food. After dinner, they had Lila open presents to let the food settle before the cake and ice cream.  Of course, the same regifted gifts were given to Lila, since she was still two, despite it being her tenth birthday.  Instead of being a prepubescent girl, she was still a small toddler, easily fitting into 12–18-month clothes.  And those were just the kind of clothes that Lila got.  More rompers, onesies, swimsuits, pretty dresses, and footed sleepers.  A couple new pacifiers and a new feeding bottle.  Another new stuffed Bluey since her old one was getting worn out.  A few more older infant toys since she was beginning to lose interest in the toddler toys.  More diapers so that her wing could be freshly restocked with diapers to help Madeline out. After all the presents, Boudreau, the pastry chef, wheeled out a special birthday cake that was a little different than her other past birthdays.  It was a marble torte cake covered in chocolate ganache, but it was even larger than before.  The chocolate was then spray painted with blue food coloring and finished up to look like Bluey to please Lila, the extra special birthday girl. Blue fondant covered areas of the cake to design the different parts of Bluey’s face.  A “1” and a “0” candle sat at the tip of Bluey’s nose. With that, all of the family gathered around Lila and sang to her again, commemorating her special day: Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday dear Lila, happy birthday to you! “And many more!” Cynthia sang, crying happy tears this time.  She hugged Lila, and helped her in blowing out the candle on this very special cake.  She made a blow with her lips, hoping that Lila would get the idea.  “On three, Lila!” Cynthia instructed.  “Let’s blow Bluey’s nose!  One…two…three!” Cynthia blew on the “1” and “0” candles, with Lila blowing just after her.  The candles were blown out. Everyone ate the cake and enjoyed it.  Lila especially enjoyed it, smacking her lips and smiling.  “Mo Boo-Wee mommy! Mo Boo-Wee!” Cynthia granted Lila’s request.  She cut another small piece of the cake and gave it to Lila, who polished off in seconds. Ice cream was next.  Chef Boudreau brought out a batch of Neapolitan ice cream that was freshly made that day.  Every ingredient was fresh and the consistency was perfect. At that point, Lila started to look tired.  So did Shauna and Sidney. Angela noticed this and scooped up Sidney.  She got her attention and pointed at Lila.  “Sidney, say good night to Lila.  We’re getting ready for bed.” Sidney smiled and looked at Lila.  “G’night, Lie-la! Shauna, who was next to Bradley smiled at Lila.  “Gah-nye, Why-wa!” Lila, in response smiled.  “Nye nye Sah-nah!  Nye nye Sinney!” Cynthia gave Lila a hug goodnight, followed by John, Angela, and Camden.  Everyone else also said good night to Lila, including Tonya. Tonya, still noticing the flash coming from underneath Lila’s dress smiled.  “I still see it…” she whispered.  “Good night, birthday girl!” After that, Madeline took Lila upstairs to her bedroom and into her changing room.  She caught a strong whiff as she began to change Lila’s soggy, wet, and messy diaper… 1 week later Lila was still laying on the examination table as her mother changed her wet, soggy, and messy diaper.  At this point, she had everything all cleaned up so the rest happened pretty quickly.  She watched her mother apply cream to a few sore spots, which made her whimper.  After that, she powdered a new flashing magic diaper and placed Lila on it. The pediatrician Dr. Cara Sterling entered the room before Cynthia could even finish changing Lila’s diaper. The doctor smiled as she glanced at Cynthia pressing Lila’s feet together and folding the diaper up, before fastening both tabs snugly into the landing zone. Cynthia let out a nervous laugh.  “Sorry.  She just made a stinky and I had to change her…” Dr. Sterling nodded and gave Cynthia a reassuring smile.  “Not to worry, Mrs. Watson!  You are not the only mother that I walked in on in the middle of a diaper change.  At least you have it all cleaned up!  I walked in to see a very stinky one the other day…” Cynthia nodded and checked Lila’s diaper for the perfect fit.  She then had Lila sit on her lap in just her diaper. From there, she let Dr. Sterling take Lila’s measurements.  First, she measured Lila’s height.  “30 inches,” she told Cynthia.  “That’s a little small for a two-year-old…” Cynthia nodded matter-of-factly, but played along since she knew that Lila’s wish was affecting the doctor’s perception of Lila.  Of course she’s 30 inches.  She doesn’t grow anymore.  She’s been 30 inches for the past eight years! Dr. Sterling then weighed Lila on a scale, while Cynthia held her still.  “19 pounds, 11 ounces.  Very light for a two-year-old.  Lila’s got the perfect body for a 12-month-old, though…” She pensively grinned and looked at Cynthia.  “Not to worry, Mrs. Watson.  Lila is growing at her own pace.  Did she have a good birthday last week?” Cynthia shook her head.  “Lila had a wonderful birthday.  Her…second birthday was wonderful…”  Phew!  I almost said tenth birthday! Dr. Sterling nodded.  “That’s good to hear.  So she’s two now, huh?” Cynthia gave her a very convincing nod.  “Yup!” she lied.  “My little Lila just turned two!” Dr. Sterling gave Cynthia a smile.  “With Lila being two now, it is now the perfect age for potty training her, by the way.  Do try to make it a point to start potty training her.  It won’t be easy, considering the Terrible Twos…” Cynthia nodded and played along again.  “Yup!  I’ve heard how terrible those twos can be…”  Nope! Lila is never getting potty trained.  Not with her mental state like this…She thanked the pediatrician and dressed Lila back in her pink corduroy dress (12-18 months, of course since Lila hasn’t grown for the past two years now).  Cynthia drove home the rest of the way.  Lila was rather quiet since she was fast asleep.  After she got home, she took the sleeping Lila out of her car seat and into the sprawling estate.  She carried her upstairs and placed her in her crib in the main room.  She then smiled at Madeline, letting her know that she has Lila duties once again.  She placed the covers over her darling daughter and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.  “I love you, Lila Loo.  Mommy’s gotta go to work now.  Nana Maddie is going to wake you up from your nap, okay?” Lila’s eyes squinted open as her mother left the room.  “Nah-Nah Mah-dee…”  She peacefully sucked on her pacifier and fell asleep for her much-needed nap. 8 years ago Lila proudly stood as she watched a series of lights flashing in the distance.  Most of the light was coming from her, and she illuminated the area where she was standing.  As long as she was standing there, the area around her got plenty of light. Then all of a sudden, Lila heard a voice come out of nowhere: I don’t wanna gwow up!  I wanna stay two as long as I live!  Oh, how I wish that I could no longer get any older! Lila gasped.  Did my dream self just make a wish?  Maybe I can help this wish out… A tiny shadow appeared right next to Lila.  It looked just like Lila, only the shadow was two years old. The shadow glanced at Lila and gave her a triumphant smile.  “Go away!  She mine now!” But Lila shook her head.  “No!  I made the wish, so I get to control you!” The shadow ignored Lila and pushed her away.  “Nu!  Lila wanna be two yeer uld! Yoo not two!” The shadow began to grow and shoved Lila away with incredible force.  But Lila wasn’t about to give up so easily.  Over and over again, she kept challenging the shadow only to get pushed away again. Over a series of weeks, months, and years, the Lila shadow grew every day.  Over time, Lila got more and more afraid to challenge the shadow.  Until one day, Lila just gave up.  She stopped challenging the two-year-old giant shadow Lila and sulked in a vast lonely field of nothingness. 8 years and 1 month later Lila cried as she received the terrible news.  The giant shadow toddler version of herself was still standing there, but tears were dripping down her eyes.  “Hey!” she yelled at the shadow.  “Didn’t you hear?  Subconscious got it!  Central nervous system got it!  Don’t you know what’s going on?”  She continued to hysterically sob. The gigantic toddler shadow nodded, and shed a few shadowy tears. “I hawd all news.  Lila is hawt vewy bad.  Bad awk-saw-dent.  Yoo vewy sawd too, wight?  I mak you fee-awe beh-tah…” Lila hesitantly approached the gigantic toddler shadow that she can remember challenging years ago.  After fighting it, is she now going to let it comfort her?  At this point, all of her was in pain, so she felt that she really didn’t have any other choice left.  She approached the gigantic toddler shadow, still bawling her eyes out.  “Please!  Just help me!  Help her!  We all need to work to keep her going!  We are all part of her…Please!  I can’t take it anymore…” And with that, Lila laid down and was engulfed by the shadow.  She could feel all the infantile tendencies fill every part of her, but at the same time, she felt the comfort as the enlarging toddler shadow began trying to do everything possible to stabilize Lila’s being… Lila woke up, her leg still bound in a cast at the hospital.  While her mind still felt very much like a toddler, she couldn’t help but feel very shaken to the core.  Because of what happened, she was too weak to make wishes right now.  Her toddler mind took over again as she began to feel the unbearable pain in her leg.  She wailed loudly, as a couple nurses began to enter the room. While Lila managed to have a very good 10th birthday, Lila was unsure if her 11th birthday was going to be any better.  She whimpered and wailed in pain as the nurses tended to her…

me too

Rei continued watching her show trying to not get distracted with her pull ups while she continued to suck her pacifier