~Brian~

Disassemble (No Disassemble Johnny 5)

This song was one of about 3 that I would roll on my roku TV while in rehab - Here we have Leonid and friends - Doing a Earth Wind and Fire cover of Fantasy: If you NEVER heard this song sung by them, this is almost SPOT ON - Almost so on target, that these Russians and Ukrainians SING and bring this old guy almost to the point of TEARS - when I felt like "giving up" a few times, I would hear this: This is the cover of EW&F's "Boogie Wonderland". I wish that I could meet the guy you see behind the mic - I believe his Name is Danil Buranov - when I hear this one, it reminded me that "I may be down, or recouping my strength, but it would reset me to zero, and it would make me feel that there is a LIGHT at the end of this, and Damnit - I'm GOING HOME" - I've felt like I've been run over by a TRUCK while doing my PT/OT sessions, but I had to also hear my PT's and OT's: This means that I am not Superman, and I need to go at an acceptable pace: There were days I didn't want to, or could NOT do a lower body routine, but I would use my weighed bars (Mr. Buranov does some of the vocals - LISTEN to this guy's RANGE - It made me feel like there were times that I needed help, and I should NOT be afraid to ask for it) - This Boy will NOT back DOWN when I know I am in the right Its awesome that music can be a communication medium instead of stupid fighting - Please continue to pray for me - this has NOT been easy for me, and I think my parents are somehow upset with me right now, but this time, I HAVE to focus on ME, because if I do NOT do that, I will lose more ground - Maybe the guy Upstairs can help me figure out how to respond: I will NOT do that if I get cryptic DM's that make no sense - It is hard enough as it is, because now, I don't DARE post anything because I may make the parental units upset, and it HURTS almost as bad as My Neck, my shoulders, and all of the things that hurt: WHY do I worry??? I don't want to fight, I don't wanna argue: I will send out a couple of cards because there are birthdays this month: I don't wanna fight, cause I have enough going on, and so do they........ Maybe something good will happen - I don't know.......but I can't do what I gotta do if there is a big misunderstanding, and they DON'T tell me what I did.......I apologized, but have not heard from them Thank GOD for the music of these Talented people Without the MUSIC I listen To, I would NOT have been able to make it, and with my team helping me, I CAN do this, but its hard when you want to say "I'm sorry" but because they may not believe me, the apology may not have been seen or communicated - This sucks when you are working HARD and do not have the time to deal with this crazyiness: I am hurting all over, and have been really stiff B

King's Cross Station

Yummy

@BloncoCraven I had a babysitter from the time I was born, until the age of 12: My "sitter" when he was available was my friend and neighbor Marc - He always made things fun, and I rarely got in trouble when he was there, and sometimes, his sisters would watch me as well: All of them were awesome, and we'd do different things together: It was fun I am still good friends with Him and his wife, and He drives for Green Mountain Transit, our local transit provider, so it's cool that I get to see him, and ride with him, and He was the ONLY person that my parents allowed me to be with with NO Curfew - That's about the best thing that can happen, because it shows that my parents are trusting him, and with ME - I was amazed Brian

Rhubarb (one thing Mom had in her Garden at one of our old houses)

@Goerge In May, I asked my former Case Manager to order enough diapers, so that I could spend the remainder of my flex funding for the 2025 Fiscal Year - The resulting total was $771.00 - I think I was able to get 24 cases: This allowed me to have enough diapers for the time I spent in the hospital and rehab. I think I also used all but 2 packages - This means that I went through the entire order! I've NEVER had that happen, so it was a tad surprising Thank GOD for my megamax Brian

@Daiperman45 I have been incontinent on and off for most of my life, and I started my IC journey as an adult in 2019. I used to worry who would find out, and worry that someone that loves me or helps me would take offense, and get upset with me: I've been wearing diapers for 6 years, and I believe that I made the right decision for ME - I was having accidents and dealing with Diverticulitis and IBS as well, so I tried not to worry too much: The only problem that I had when this started was How I get the diapers I NEED, along with the support that is necessary, and that was pretty easy to get the help I needed, but it took a few months to be able to get the state to help me get the diapers I need, I have the Megamax, and I am GLAD that I have them. I was also able to convince the Management Company that the State of Vermont chose, (ActivStyle) to allow for these as well, and because of my use of these products, since 2019, I don't think that someone will make me change these to the cheaper kind of products, because I have tried everything that has been sent to me, and the only product that works for me is the Northshore Megamax, and I was able to get ActivStyle to connect with Norethshore Care, and ActivStyle orders my diapers, and Northshore sends them to me, and this eliminates ActivStyle having to order them, and having to stockpile the products in their warehouse(s): They would end up repacking the order into boxes that say "Repack" and they would come from Medline, and this was just adding an extra step, so ActivStyle calls me once a month, and I also call them when necessary, but they will order what I need, and Northshore sends them to me. I have VT Medicaid, and that is how I get these. You probably won't be able to get a medical professional to prescribe the "good diapers" that you want right away, and it should be noted that unless you can show a qualified and bonafide reason for the "good diapers" (Usually a medical reason), that is what you get. My Diaper Order usually is 90 Diapers, 90 boosters, and 90 Underpads. As far as telling someone: I have learned that the only people that need to know are those people that provide me with support, Such as my doctor, My Case Manager, and those people that you TRUST: My brothers all know that I wear and use, and they understand why I do this, and several of my close friends have told me that wearing diapers and using them is no problem for them, and there are some people who may think that it's not a big deal that I do this, as many disabled individuals wear some sort of protection due to their disabilities. (I think that my mom and stepdad already know that I wear and use diapers, because of my recent stay at Berlin Health and Rehab in Berlin VT: I have been using diapers for 6 years as of August 2025: While there, I was quite weak, and started out having them Change/Clean/Dress me, as well as anything else that I could not do myself, and as I got stronger, I was able to do some of it, but I have lost some ability and that is probably because of my disability and being spastic and having trouble raising my legs high enough to put clothing on, and while I can do it, it gets hard) Remember that you are going to try diapers so as @UliDN says: All of these pieces of advice are valid, and I'll add one more: Since I am IC BOTH WAYS, I wear all the time now, so there is no "day off" from IC: You WILL use that diaper, and you WILL have to learn how to deal with what you release, and you will have to learn to put them on, and take them off, and make sure that you have the diaper that works the best for you. The only thing you will NOT know is the "When": You have to be prepared to deal with that! as my colleagues have stated: As @DiaperboyEddie12 says above: The Megamax and the Tykables and the Betterdry are basically the best: There are none better, unless maybe you use a Trest diaper. There are many of use that wear and use, for whatever reason, so you could also ask any other questions you have - I am sure that you would be able to get some more good advice @DiaperboyEddie12 is right again: It is not necessary to tell them, and if you did decide to tell them, what do you think your parents are going to react? If they would tell you that you have to leave because of this, then I would NOT tell them: If they are the type of parents that would understand WHAT you are doing and WHY you are doing it, then you may decide to tell them, but since you still live at home, this may not be the best thing to tell them! Both of the above quotes are also valid: @Babypants is quite right: I didn't tell my parents when I started to masturbate, and that is because I didn't think it was necessary: I did tell them I did it a few times, 'cause there were stains on a YELLOW comforter, that mom needed to get out. But: since you are living in/under the same roof as your parents, they may not understand the WHY part of your decision, so you will have to understand that you'll have to keep this on the "Down Low," and while you probably didn't tell your parents when you masteubated, it would be harder to hide diapers, AND be able to USE them as intended, and you will have to be able to change and dispose of wet and dirty diapers very religiously: This is because if they can SMELL it, they are going to ask you what is going on, and this is especially true if they smell stale Pee or poop! @DiaperboyEddie12 is QUITE right: Since you live at home still, your parents are allowing you to reside there, so you will have to figure out when and how you will try diapers - You may have to curtail usage until you are ready to move out on your own - But remember, if your parents find out (and they will if they investigate), as you probably won't be able to hide this. @Diaper Chase is Right on the Money here: You'd better make sure that you get the diapers that work best for you, and once you decide that, you would have to order some and wear them, as discreet as possible. When you are totally Incontinent both ways, you learn how to change yourself regularly, and be able to do a change wherever amd whenever you need to. The best way to make sure that you are sizing correctly is to measure, or to guesstimate your size: Doing a 2 or 3 diaper pack will allow you to try out the diapers you like, and find the right size I'm gonna WARN you however, that if you are wearing and using them as I would, or anyone else that is 24/7/365, that your life will change, because you are wearing and using diapers, and you have to be able to deal with LEAKS and Blowouts, and because of this, you will have to make a lasting change, and you will have to budget for diapers and all of the supplies that you use: I get supplies like wipes, gloves, disposal bags, and can liners for the Akord 330 pail as well. going 24/7 is not for everyone, but you can learn to deal with this: It takes practice, and you'll also be taking out garbage more frequently! @Diaper Chase is correct: You will be taking diapers out frequently, so you will have to figure out how to do that! Perhaps @FretaBWet and @LilRugrat have some further "words of wisdom?" Good Luck, and keep us advised Brian

reckless (From a song called Impulsive by Wilson Phillips)

Singer

Idol

There is NOT a "real flushable wipe" - They may SAY that it is, but all that happens is the wipe gets caught and blocks the pipe or flange, then you have to take the toilet off the flange sometimes, and snake the flange directly. If you were lucky, you were able to snake it and grab it out before having to do the toilet flange snaking method. When I was in Rehab, each bathroom should have had, a sign that says "Please........NO WIPES IN THE TOILET" I was in 2 rooms when I was there: One room had the sign and one did not - not sure why the sign is there in some places and not others, BUT It was widely understood NOT to flush wipes down the toilets. Each time a resident was changed, they took out the dirty stuff with the trash, and EVERYTHING is just bagged and then removed to the trash room, and then they would run garbage outside a few times a day, and that was usually at shift changes. Brian

Number

Grandfather (my Dad's father was named John)

Flats