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  1. Looking for partner for X-Men rp

    I hate to ask, but I was kinda wondering if anyone be interested in doing an X-Men Evolution rp where Rouge does get hit by a mutant and the power she’s hit with slowly causes problems for her (like mental regression)? So it wouldn’t seem like a big deal and she would just seem off? At which point Gambit is put in charge to make sure she get’s better but things only get worse, to the point where she is basically a baby in an adult’s body. And Eventually he becomes her Daddy. But it doesn't necessarily have to have Rogue as the baby it could be two other characters....But it'd be nice to have Rogue babied. I'm also not interested in those who write just short one liners as replies.
  2. Man and Child

    Are babies born with all the knowledge they will ever need and they just… forget? Man and Child Howard shuffled around the aisles of the superstore, no matter where he went he always ended up in the diaper section. He had no idea why as he was there to shop for food, yet still, with his little basket empty, and no matter which way he turned, he ended back in the same aisle. At 82, Howard occasionally got confused. He’d watched his partner of forty years forget him, and everything else, as Alzheimer’s took control of his body nine years ago, he hoped that wouldn’t happen to him. However, there was no doubt about it; things were getting more and more difficult. His bladder more or less gave up two years ago but going back into diapers hadn’t been that much of a trauma. Earlier in their relationship they’d both enjoyed a bit of ABDL fun well, now, he had no choice if he didn’t want a stream of piss marking his route. The young man behind the counter was asking him if he was OK. Of course he was OK he was just asking him for a loaf of bread. The seventeen year-old apprentice butcher tried to explain that this was the meat counter, the bakery was on the other side of the store. The young lad was patient with the old man and tried to direct him to the correct place and after a few minutes of gentle persuasion Howard realised his mistake, thanked the boy and ambled off. He ended back at the baby’s diaper section yet again. He stood there remembering the fun they’d had and slowly felt the bulk that now occupied his own trousers, not out of fun these days but necessity. He wished he could go back, he wished he could live his life in these more enlightened times but, he was old and… what was he here for? Oh yes, he needed to buy something for dinner, that was it, dinner. He arrived at the checkout with his meagre provisions. Four items; sausages, bread, tea and milk - it wasn’t much but he’d always loved a sausage sandwich. By the time the queue had lessened and it was his turn to pay he felt quite odd. He was breathless, even though he’d done no exercise, and his head felt fuzzy. Once he’d paid for it he noticed the bench were normally old folk sat and chatted was empty. His heart was racing so shuffled over to it and gratefully sat down. ‘Whoa’, he was happy for the rest before he set off on the half mile walk back to his apartment but a deep agony that left him rigid with pain… as if his heart was fit to explode, engulfed him. He couldn’t move and his bladder had given way. He couldn’t prevent his few purchases falling to the floor, he couldn’t see anything but a blur…he couldn’t move… he couldn’t… ***** Where am I? I can hardly see. All I can hear is muffled sounds. I can’t make out what anyone is saying but there seems to be hundreds, well maybe thousands of people all talking. I can see them in my head as easily as I can see anyone else but my eyes just won’t focus on anything except… moving shadows, shapes and the occasional flash of… lightness. What the hell is going on? Am I in hospital? The tightness and pain has gone, yet for some reason, I’m crying. Why am I crying? I need to speak to someone. I need some answers. I need to shut these thousands of people up. They’re driving me mad. Every one of them is talking, explaining, emphasising… often in a language I don’t understand but I know they are trying to tell me something important - to impart some knowledge. If I can stop crying and listen for a while perhaps I’ll find out what all these people are doing here in my head. I’m snug and warm but I have no idea why. I suppose the store has put me somewhere, perhaps I’m in hospital, maybe I’m dreaming. No, it’s not that. I feel warm and protected and I’ve stopped crying. There are other voices now outside my head though I can’t understand what they’re saying. The voices in my head and the people I can feel in my brain are offering advice, showing me untold wonders, telling me all about the secrets of the universe. I can hear… I’m beginning to comprehend. I know I’ve had some kind of shock to my system but why are they telling me all these things now. Is it some kind of revelation, which I’ll need to know when I’m feeling better? Suddenly, a bright light but I see nothing. I am crying again but only for a short while before I am sucking on something. Why am I doing that? Oh, it’s nice. Mmmm I could get used to this. As I concentrate on getting sustenance, the voices begin to fade. No don’t go. I want to know the secrets of the universe and the meaning of… Well, I can’t speak with this in my mouth so I’ll ask them when I’ve finished. However, I can see all those shadows… one by one… slowly dissolving from my minds-eye… but it seems more important at this moment to keep sucking. I don’t know why. Therefore, I just suck and suck and suck… and sleep takes me. ***** When I open my eyes there is no one and I can hear nothing. The images and voices in my head have all gone but outside, the shadows and strange noises continue. What was it those voices were telling me? The secret of… Oh damn… I can’t remember but I know it must have been important from the way everyone was talking to me. Well, I’m sure it will come back but for the moment. Suck, suck, suck, suck… I think this is the weirdest dream but at least my chest is no longer filled with the tension of stress. I’m warm, happy, relaxed and… what is that feeling… that other feeling? Suck, suck, suck… What was it I was worried about? Why am I even thinking about… I’ve no idea? I can’t remember now, all I know is that I like this new feeling. I can’t even remember the voices or anything that was told to me but I don’t care. This new sensation is far better. I only have to cry and I get food. Suck, suck, suck… ***** My eyesight is getting better. I can make out strange people who are fussing over me. I can see my legs. That’s funny…God they are so small. Ohhhh… this is one hell of a dream. Ooops, someone has just picked me up. Now they are laughing and there’s powder and a smell of… not sure what that is. It’s all a bit clearer now, don’t know what all that other stuff was about. Erm…er… was there some ‘other stuff? I’m naked but I appear to being dressed in. Bloody hell… I must be in a bad way, they’re putting me in a diaper. I must have lost use of all my bodily functions. I’ll have to ask what is going on but every time I try to speak, all I end up doing is crying. Oh, this isn’t good. My brain is… erm, I’m not sure what…. Mmmm suck, suck, suck… Where am I? Who am I? Why doesn’t anyone speak to me except in those silly tones? I no longer understand a word being said. I can’t say a word. I gurgle, I cry. That’s it. But I need to express myself this is a living hell. I need help. Suck, suck, suck… but it’s all so warm and nice… Suck, suck, suck… The shapes in front of my eyes are becoming clearer. I don’t know who they are… nurses, my carers? I don’t know. I don’t know anything any more. My brain is going numb. I know something happened but I can’t remember… I’m held and kissed and the feeling is fantastic. I sleep. I feed. I sleep and the memory fades. “Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good little girl? Who’s a pretty baby?” Suck, suck suck…
  3. Project Calibeen is a trilogy of stories - Audrey & Staycee, Lottie, and Velvet - that follow the events of a correctional reformatory, intent on making the worst people into the best. In as little as a year, patients leave the institution with a 0% reoffender rate. But how do they do it? These stories can be read in any order. Audrey & Staycee Lottie Velvet is a prequel to Audrey & Staycee that explores the creation and refinement of the Calibeen institution. Of the three stories, Velvet is the most ABDL-focused. It takes a shotgun approach: hard and fast! Diapers, hypnosis, drugs. An expansive cast of characters, a hero, a villain! Velvet tells a straightforward narrative that is easy to follow and fun to read. Actually, this is sort of uncharted territory... Pudding and I have been working on Project Calibeen's final installment for years, and we don't even have a rough draft yet! I'm actually hoping posting the few chapters we have complete will motivate us to finish this series. Project Calibeen has been our white whale for almost seven years, and we are so eager to bring it to a close. Anyway... wish us luck! The first 15 chapters are up on Patreon! Please consider supporting us! ~Sophie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Velvet by: Sophie & Pudding 1.) Her New Home "We have a new inmate today." I was in the small staff room adjacent to the security checkpoint, sipping on poorly made coffee with a sour look on my face. Everything about our budget here was in a pinch, but that was the nature of experimental deployments. Nobody wanted to invest too much into something without a proven track-record. Things would be different once Ayla graduated the program, which she certainly would in the coming weeks, perhaps the coming days. Dr. Janick nodded in recognition of the small-talk and eyed the coffee-machine skeptically, a sandwich in one of her hands. "Alexander Duke." "Mmhmm. The Round Table Committee is curious to see how the program takes with a more troubled case. Like killing people is the worst we've dealt with? Everybody wants to kill someone sometimes. So passé." "I did read in the report that the judge was on a 50/50 split between here and Pascatero. Kids a nutjob." "Well, he won't be when we're done with him. You know when he's gonna be here?" "He's outside the checkpoint at the moment, being processed. You're taking him, right?" "Yeah, I think so. By the time he's settled in, Ayla will be out, and we'll have a new intake again, so I'll have to make sure there're no setbacks." "I heard Marlow wanted him." "He would, but he's a hack. He just wants the recognition." "Last thing we need is another Annie." I was guarded when the woman walked in the door. I sat still on the table and kicked my feet. She had a lab coat and nice shoes. But the kind of nice that could be nicer. Hm. Her hair was up. A clipboard in her hands. Taller than me, but then again, who wasn't? The orderly at my side stayed put. Like I could do anything with these handcuffs on... "Alexander Duke." There was a plastic clipboard in my hand, made from a single sheet of pink perspex — wooden clipboards were not allowed in any correctional facilities — but I didn't need to read anything on the chart. Alexander Duke had murdered every member of the grand jury, the 12 people who had been party to his brother’s incarceration. That kind of thing made the news. "I am Doctor Clement, and I'll be overseeing your entry into the program here." "...what is this place?" A hospital? A mental ward, probably. I was mandated here: experimental recovery for the mentally ill. That was all I was told. It certainly looked like a hospital. The rest of my life being fed and watching TV? It wasn't so bad. But it wasn't the rest of my life. My time was mandated between one and two years. I'd killed twelve people, and I had two years maximum in a hospital. How I'd gotten so lucky, I'd never know. "This is your home for the duration of the program." Which answered nothing at all, but there was a certain rapport that had to be built up before he'd be allowed to expect useful answers. "I can see why the judge recommended you for treatment — slight of build, below-average testosterone levels, confident demeanor. I think you'll be an excellent candidate. You're going to be here for some time, so how about we break down this formality somewhat — you may call me Colette." "I'm Alex," I said quietly, looking down at my feet. I didn't meet her gaze. I didn't act like I knew what I was doing or why I was here. I felt scared. Well, I looked like I felt scared. I was very good at acting. I swallowed hard and shuffled on the table, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "You prefer Alexander, but that's really neither here nor there — you'll be given a new designation as part of your enrollment here." He'd shown no remorse during the trial, no fear or discomfort or anything that might indicate that he had access to the fuller breadth of human interaction. The court hadn't deemed him sociopathic, but I'd certainly be curious myself. "Welcome to Project Calibeen. You will be rehabilitated and reeducated through unconventional an experimental means in effort to isolate and correct your behaviors." That all came from the marketing material, it was overly verbose and pointless. It didn't matter. In a few seconds, he'd start crying anyway. I could tell. Tears fell down my cheeks. I shook my head and tried to wipe them away with my shoulders. I tried to hide it, or pretended to try to hide it. I could hardly talk right, and when I did, I sounded so pathetic... “I… I didn't even... I don't know what happened... I used to have these blank spots... just times I didn't remember things well, and then... s-sorry... sorry... n-nevermind..." I nodded my head sympathetically, and cupped my hands together on the table, giving the boy a few precious moments of believing that what he was doing would work, before my look faded to a smirk. "Pretty baby face like yours, Alexander — that routine must work quite a lot. Don't worry, I can wait." "Wh-what...?" I looked up at her with wet eyes, but she just smiled back at me. She saw through that? But it was perfect! I sighed a little and rubbed the water out of my eyes with my shoulders. Ugh. I guess this is what I get when I'm all over the news... "Fine. I know what I did. You got me." No point keeping up this charade... I'd have to settle on a new one. "Things go a lot more smoothly here when we can trust one another, Alexander. In the end, you'e going to trust us implicitly either way, and it will go more positively for you if we find that we can trust you, early on. More privileges, less rules. Now, would you like to start this over, and we'll avoid the charades?" He wasn't anything new. I was actually kind of let down. "...yeah, sure. Can I have these handcuffs off though?" She looked at me incredulously and I rolled my eyes. "You're like a foot taller than me, and you've got Godzilla over here." I nodded to the orderly. "You really think I'm stupid enough to try to attack you? If you do, then you're the stupid one." "Not at all, Alexander. You're not in handcuffs because anybody is afraid of you — you killed with planning and the more efficient ways possible. Which meant sneaking up on people. You're clearly not anything other than a tiny little coward, so nobody is afraid of you." The male ego was the first thing to show up to a fight, and the first to fall as a result. "You're cuffed to remind you that you're no longer in control." "Of course not." Her attitude bothered me. She was... unique. Hm... "Why would I want to be in control? I'm here for help, Doctor Colette." I could see it on her name plate on the desk. Nicolette Clement. Did she not like her full name? So many questions. "So what now? How do I get better?" There was no doubt in my mind that this wouldn't be the boy’s last face he showed to me. Compliant and penitent. Did he think we were new at this? I smiled at him anyway, nodding my head slowly. "I'm going to introduce you to your fellow inmates, and appoint you a bedroom. You'll be sharing it with..." Curiously, I wondered how admin had arranged things, and flipped a few pages on the clipboard. "Annie." "Lead the way," I said with a smile. And to my delight, she did just that. I slid off the examination table as she passed and wrapped my cuffed hands around her neck. With a kick at her heels, we both fell backward onto the floor, the chain of the handcuffs choking her throat. The orderly rushed to remove me, but I kept the girl's neck tight against my chest, strangling her. "I sure would hate to be without these handcuffs," I chimed with a smile. "I might feel in control!' There was a very simple strategy that we were all taught during training for working in this program, though I'd been taught it in countless former roles as well. I went limp. I didn't struggle. The less I struggled, the easier it would be for the orderly to deal with the boy. And he did, too. Not with violence. With a shot into his neck. And just as soon as the stars appeared for me, he blacked out. "Are you okay, Doctor?" "Fine. Four-point him in the white room," the spare room that we didn't use as a bedroom, but likely would as we expanded. "Have him diapered, and give him a fluids drip. We'll try this interview again in 24 hours." A reaction. That's what I wanted. She'd learn to accept me, or she'd get hurt. The truth of the matter. I didn't care that I was left in the room alone. I didn't care that I was fastened to the bed, that I could feel myself urinate into the diaper on my waist. I wasn't hungry, because of the IV. I was content. I got her to react. Was aggressive, angry, violent Alex the Alex she wanted to deal with for the next two years? I could do that. Or she'd change her mind. Accept an easier Alex to handle. And I'd use it against her. Psychology made life so easy.
  4. Project Calibeen is a trilogy of stories - Audrey & Staycee, Lottie, and Velvet - that follow the events of a correctional reformatory, intent on making the worst people into the best. In as little as a year, patients leave the institution with a 0% reoffender rate. But how do they do it? These stories can be read in any order. Lottie Velvet Audrey & Staycee was one of our first stories together, and it's widely considered our best work. It delves into the structure of the Calibeen institution and everything that goes on there. Pudding is always so imaginative and extreme, but A&S really showcases her ability at world building. And I did a pretty good job with the plot: mysterious, dark, intense, and includes a LOT of diapers! A&S is an all-in-one package for a hardcore diaper story, and we really hope you give it a look! To adhere to DD's story regulations about underage characters and sexual situations, this version of A&S is censored a little bit. There's a few flashbacks wherein a main character is only sixteen. As writers, Pudding and I know "sex" and "sixteen" pretty much go hand in hand, but we understand and agree with DD's decision to distance underage and ABDL content. Our story integrity is not above the integrity of the community. For this thread, we worked hard to remove the offending scenes while still preserving the complicated themes in play. Any time we censored content, you'll see "~~~CUT~~~". Filling in the blanks isn't that hard. But if you are curious nonetheless... A complete, uncensored version of the entire story can be found HERE! Thanks everyone for your constant support. Leave comments! ~Sophie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AUDREY & STAYCEE by: Sophie & Pudding PHASE THREE Part I: The First Day These rooms were so much more… me. No brightly colored walls, no wallpaper, no white furniture. Just a beautifully decorated room with a light blue accent wall - a bit lighter than my color - and adorned with furniture complimenting the white painted wooden canopy bed. I knew I'd be sharing it, but it was still so spacious - at least twice the size of my room as a Second! I peeked into the closet, finding two sets of clothing - my blue and someone else's yellow. I fiddled with the drawers, looking through the makeup and nail polishes, of hair bows instead of ribbons, barrettes, and so many beautiful things. I was so eager. Phase Three would be so much better than One and Two - no diapers, no babysitting. I was finally grown up, on my way to a better life. I wasn't sure when my conditioning would start, but I was eager to purge myself of some of the more annoying habits, like how I still sucked my thumb. But my thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and a beautiful auburn-haired girl walking in. I quickly climbed off the bed, bouncing over to meet her. She was a few inches taller than me, but it wasn't uncommon - I was always a short boy. "Hi, I'm Audrey. I guess we're roommates." "Uhhuh." I flopped down in the canopy bed, eyes taking in the bedroom in awe with a wide smile. This was so much lovelier than being a Second! I expected it would be, though. I mean. As Seconds we shared the same rooms we had as Firsts, we just got to be in charge. Adelaide had been a wonderful First; she'd actually been eager for the process and had ranked first in her group to graduate, which had left me without a First for much of my time as a Second. But I was okay with it! It just gave me more time to focus on being the best. I liked to be the best. I was a very competitive person. "I'm Staycee. Whatcha in for?" Firsts mostly didn't talk about what they'd done; probably out of shame - I was that way, anyway. Something about the time I'd spent with Adelaide just really opened my eyes, though; no matter what happened now, I'd never be that person, never be capable of those things ever again. So why be ashamed? Retelling the stories now were just… well… stories. I was a good girl, now. We all were. The girl - Audrey? - she was absolutely darling, a big smile and hopeful, optimistic eyes; I couldn't work out if she'd had any adjustments in Second beyond the Softening - she didn't have the telltale needle pricks by her ears, though, so I had to figure it was just natural beauty. And that made me smile. "I robbed a bank." It was my standard tell-tale lie. I didn't want to lie to Staycee, but I also didn't want to get into it - it just made me sad and it was supposed to be a happy day. "Or tried to rob it, anyway… if I'd robbed it, I wouldn't be here." I liked Staycee. She was… something else. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was almost like she loved this place. No one loved this place - not unless they made you a Zero first, and I still believed that was a myth. "That's really cool! Did you wear a stocking over your head and carry a sack with a dollar sign on it? Where do you get those, anyway? Is there a bank-robbing supply store?" I flashed a cheeky smile and pulled her hand into mine. "I like to hold hands. You'll have to get used to that. Adelaide - she was my First - and I pretty much never let go. The Headmistress says its a side effect of detachment in my life before, iono though. Maybe." My time here was a little different to the others; it seemed like I was seeing the Headmistress significantly more; she'd check on me, ask about my progress, deliver my rewards personally - I thought that was normal until Francesca (one of the other Seconds) told me she hadn't even seen the Headmistress outside of her color ceremony. Speaking of which. "Nice color, girl. Wow. That's gotta be the prettiest blue I've ever seen." I nodded happily, fiddling with the hem of my dress. It really was beautiful. "I didn't pick it. I mean, my Second was always a "be your own person" kind of girl. So she'd dress me in tons of colors. And when I went to my ceremony, I had no idea what I wanted. But the Headmistress just gave me this one. And I love it, I really do. Strange I'd like a blue… I like your yellow, though. It's sunny." Sun. I was almost sure I'd forgotten what the actual sun looked like. Still, Staycee could serve as my pseudo-sun until I got out of this place. I gave a sideways look and smiled curiously. "You know that's exactly what happened with me, too? My Second told me she hated it as a name, but she was naming me Staycee nonetheless. And spelling it weird, too. Es-Tee-Ay-Why-See-Ee-Ee. See? And then she didn't have any influence on my color, either; the Headmistress assigned me my yellow though and it just felt so right. Like getting a dress you always wanted for Christmas, and having it fit amazingly. Except, well, I don't know what that's like. But it's how I imagine that to be like." I sat up on the edge of the bed and took another closer look at Audrey, smiling contently. "You're easily the prettiest girl here. I'm glad we're roomies." "Uhhuh." So maybe I wasn't as special as I thought… it was probably a common thing, now that I thought about it. Not every Second would have such an attachment to color the way I did - I meticulously planned the color of my First. And I guess everyone else just got a random color they'd love. How did we love it, anyway? Was it profiling, or did they add that in Hypno as well? This facility always made me feel cold whenever I'd think about it in such terms, and goosebumps would rise on my arms. Two more Phases, and I could leave for good. As a new person. "I don't suppose you know what we're supposed to do, now?" Firsts were always orchestrated by Seconds, and Seconds remembered how they were orchestrated by their Seconds. But this was Staycee's and my first day in the Phase Three wing, and we had no idea what we were doing. One of the big differences we were privy to as Thirds; one I'd noticed when I came in, in-fact, was the presence of the little digital clock on the bedside table. "I don't know for sure, but I do know it's fifteen minutes before meal time and I bet nobody else has considered that. Come on, let's get dressed and find the lunch hall." It was something that the Headmistress had told me with that smile of hers that always seemed to have something just beneath the surface of it; like her words had seventeen different meanings if only I'd listen - she told me that I had control over who I was as a Third. And I think that meant something. "We have control. As Thirds. Over who we are and who we become, whether we become cute little geeky introverts or social butterflies, whether we accept being average or strive to be the best. Whatever we aim for, they'll help with - if we wanna be the best, they'll help us be the best." I picked a blue pleated skirt and a pretty buttoned blouse off the hanger and handed them both to Audrey. "So let's be the best." I nodded my head, taking the two pieces of clothing from Staycee with small concerns. I didn't really care about being the best, but I didn't like being punished, either. I remembered when I was a First how tragic my life was when I misbehaved, even in the slightest. If getting to the lunch room first meant I wouldn't get in trouble, then I was all for it. But still, the outfit in my hand held another concern. Two pieces… I'd never worn a two piece anything. Dresses, nighties, all that from One and Two were a single piece of clothing. They probably go on just like boy clothes, Audrey. "Um… can you turn around? So I can change, I mean." "Really?" I smiled and shook my head, my hand slipping into the girl’s and squeezing it. "You've showered in front of other people, had your diaper changed repeatedly, been dressed and undressed and probably spanked publicly. You've had the Softening, had your physical at the end of Second - how're you still shy?" I laid the clothes down on the bed and motioned to the girl, my sparkling blue eyes shining with happiness. "Come on, off with your clothes. I'll dress you myself." Though my tone was firm and certain, there was also a particular playful affection to it. Like we were already best friends. My cheeks lit up and I looked down at my feet shyly. "It's… different." I wasn't sure how it was different, but it certainly felt it. I was a girl now - it was something I'd come to accept in Phase Two. I conquered my fears of change, and this was the new me. I didn't mind that I couldn't be Colin anymore, I really didn't. But shame was still an evident factor, even as a girl. And part of being a girl meant not having a penis, and thusly, I found it to be a big part of my shame. Since talk of Phase Three and independence, I'd already decided not to let another soul see me naked. I was a girl damnit, and I wasn't going to let anyone think otherwise. "I can change, Staycee. Just pleeeeease turn around..?" Was I asking? "And what if I want to see you change? I'll let you see me change." I would have anyway - the facility encouraged openness especially within pairs and while I didn't know how it worked for Thirds, I was willing to bet it was something still rewarded. But I wanted her to be comfortable around me; it was known even as Seconds that Thirds had the longest program. I didn't want things to be weird and awkward between us. "You know when I was a boy, I'd never change in front of anybody. I was just never comfortable with my body. Most boys aren't, anyway. But I wanna be the kind of girl who can change in front of her friends, the kind of girl who isn't ashamed of her body. Don't you, too? You're already the prettiest girl here; the only thing that could make you more gorgeous is the confidence to know it and show it." I wasn't the prettiest girl - firstly, I paled in comparison to Staycee - and I certainly wasn't going to try to pretend I was. I was nice looking, I knew that, but all the Seconds had been by the time we left Phase Two. I was just another girl. "I just… I don't like people seeing me in my underwear, alright?" It was one of the drawbacks of panties - they showed everything. I remembered my first week in them, back as a Second, and how I actually missed diapers. I was always so confident around my First when I had my nighttime diaper on, but I'd never let her see me in underwear, even if they were padded. "Ohhh…" I smiled in realization and in one smooth motion I lifted Audrey's dress off and tossed it on the bed, leaving her topless and just in her pretty blue panties. "Okay. Audrey. Come here." She was skittish and shy and reluctant as I pulled her over to the mirror and stood her before it; I knew what she was conscious of and I was determined to show her the truth. "You're a girl here." I motioned to her head. "And here." And then to her heart. "These things make you a girl. A head full of compassion and a heart full of love. Nothing else matters. Some girls have small boobs, some have big. Some have wide hips, and some narrow. Some have long hair, some short, some have button noses and some don't. Some of us like yellow and some of us like blue, and I'm sure some people like those other colors, too. And you know what? Some girls?" I put my hand on the front of her panties - it was a bold move and probably not something she was ready for, but I also wanted to show her how normalized these things were. "Some girls have an outie and some girls have an innie. But we're all girls. A head full of compassion and a heart full of love. That's it. Now look. And tell me what you see?" I motioned to the mirror. Discomfort. That's what I saw. A very, very uncomfortable girl. I turned away from the mirror, my cheeks on fire, hurrying over to the bed and fiddling with the Audrey-blue skirt. I very quickly pulled it up my legs, covering my blue cupcake panties, and zipped it into place around my waist. So much for the ‘no one will see you in your underwear’ plan. Staycee looked a little upset with my reaction, so I turned away from her shyly and slid the blouse over my arms, buttoning it up over my budding breasts. "You're never going to be happy with yourself until you understand that simple truth, Audrey. But you'll get it, I know you will. You're a smart girl. Wanna know a tip until then?" I was already in front of the closet, picking out my own clothes as I spoke. She was cute. Really cute. But she didn't get it; she didn't get what I'd got in my first week as a Second. She didn't get that they didn't make you a girl here - you did. And if you didn't accept it, if you relied only on what they gave you… you could never be happy. I'd help her, though. I slipped into a pair of tight yellow shorts and smiled. "Trust me." Trust her? The girl who just stripped me when I'd said no? Yeah - really the one to trust… ugh, this was going to be a really long Phase. I finished dressing myself, deciding against using hair ties despite my interest out of fear of getting in trouble - I didn't know the rules yet. Staycee, conversely, put her up in a ponytail without a second thought. I bit my lip, shaking my head. Not worth the trouble. I still looked strange in the mirror, though, and it took me a long time to figure out skirts aren't supposed to sit at your waist, but on your hips. I hiked it up a bit and smiled pleasantly at myself in the mirror. A proper schoolgirl. "You'll be marked down for hair, and for not wearing lipgloss - look?" I motioned to the vanity where there was a veritable array of glosses. They obviously expected us to wear it as Thirds. "Here." I pulled two hair ties off the vanity and took the brush, motioning to the bed. "I think you'll look really cute in pigtails, and they gave us hair stuff so it's expected of us. Come on, we've only got a few minutes." I motioned to the bed, and also scooped up a cherry lemonade lipgloss off the vanity as I made my way over. I bit my lip and shook my head. "We can just wait for orientation. We won't get in trouble if we didn't know! And if we weren't supposed to touch it yet, we might get in trouble anyway… it's safer not to, Staycee." She'd already undressed me today - I wasn't about to let her get me in trouble, too. So I moved away from her and the bed to the door, standing in the open doorway. "Are you coming or not?" We got to the mess hall a few moments following and I smiled in delight as we sat down at the table ~ a very different sort of table to the previous phases; more like a school cafeteria now. The Headmistress smiled from the podium at the end of the room and it was no secret why ~ we were here first. I reached my hand underneath the table and squeezed Audrey's excitedly. "Here she comes. Smile." The Headmistress and I knew each other quite well. Beyond her giving me my color on my second day, she personally oversaw most of the changes in my career at the institution, like my punishments and my Phase changes, and often would casually give me ideas on ways to improve. I didn't like her - she was, after all, the person who kept me prisoner - but I didn't hate her, either. It was hard to hate a woman who never broke the rules. I knew what was expected of me, and all she wanted was for me to be good. I learned that early on. I gave her a kind smile as she approached, walking through the lunchroom style tables and joining us across the table, standing behind the other bench. "Hello, Headmistress." "Staycee, as predicted you've excelled on presentation, punctuality and ~ as a wonderful bonus ~ you're already sitting in Third Standard style. Well done." The smile she gave me, the praise and that warmest of glows that went along with it... it was worth every bit of meticulous detail. She turned to Audrey next and pursed her lips. "Oh child, I had higher hopes of you. Untidy hair, no lipgloss and sitting like a First in a full diaper. You will do better, wont you? For me?" "I… uh… yeah… yes, Headmistress…" She walked away and I felt my whole body sulk into the table. I put my arms down and rested my head on them, looking away from my roommate. Like a first in a… oh! I very quickly closed my legs and bit my lip. How was Staycee sitting? I wanted to look, but that would let her know I was copying her. I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of being right. "Knees together, ankles apart. Like a child, see?" I leaned back and motioned beneath the table ~ Audrey had been marked down and I figured by the way she snapped her legs shut that she was trying to improve. "It's okay, you know. We're here to learn and that means little mistakes. They'll never punish you if it's an actually mistake. Just if you knew better and still screwed up." More girls were starting to file in, sheepish and apprehensive ~ the speech would begin soon. "I don't need your help. I'm fine. And what do I care if the Headmistress didn't think I sat perfectly? Doesn't matter to me…" Though, through my time here, I was smart enough to know that it did matter. I was never trying to impress the woman, but there was a distinct correlation with my screw-ups and my punishments. It was best to keep the woman happy. So I slid my ankles apart just a little, my knees still together, slowly in hopes Staycee wouldn't take notice. I still wasn't looking at her - I had my attention focused on the Headmistress at the podium and the other girls filing in. "Girls. Please take your seats ~ I know you're all hungry and anxious to begin your new Phase, and the sooner we get done here the sooner your new lives begin." A quiet swept over the room and the Headmistress begun. "Welcome. All of you. To even make it to Phase Three is such a triumph in and of itself. You've faced trials and hardships, learned how to adapt and survive. And you've all become such wonderful young girls. But there are many challenges ahead, many struggles still. Like wavering saplings reaching gingerly for the sun, your life now is what you make it. Your graduation depends on you. Your attitude. Your dedication. Your desire to be someone to be proud of. You will be scored and rated on every aspect of your life from now until the end of Phase Three. Every. Single. Piece. Will decide who you become, and how soon. And each day, an example will be made of she who wishes not to excel. A reminder to always be your best.” That got my attention and I quickly sat up at the table. There were three other girls on the other side of our table, across from Staycee and me, and all of them were looking at the Headmistress with equal attentiveness. Actually… there were a lot of girls. At least fifty. That was five times the Seconds we had in our wing. I shook my head and looked over at Staycee, whispering as not to disturb the Headmistresses' speech. "So we can leave early if we're good?" Less time in Phase Three just for being cooperative? "It's not quiet like that." I didn't want to be caught talking with the Headmistress at the podium, but I also wanted to answer the question. So I talked. Very, very quietly. "You get… scored. Like she said. And those with good scores graduate earlier. They never tell you what your score is, so you gotta always be at your best. Always." The Headmistress left the podium now and the chatter began around us, carts being wheeled in with platters of food. Real food. Ish. One had a pile of cheeseburgers! I very quickly grabbed for a plate of chicken, putting some onto the plastic plate in front of me, again in my blue. Oh, real food! As a Second, I got to eat things beyond the milky baby bottle from my first phase, but it was always the same five things. Chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, tatter tots, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and SpaghettiOs. We'd always get one fruit alongside each course, and we'd always get a cookie once a week. It grew tedious very quickly. I grabbed a burger, next, and then a brownie off a tray at the end. I looked around the lunchroom at the other tables - all with different food. Was I allowed to get up? Better be safe… "You'll be scored on your figure." I took one solitary burger and a handful of carrot sticks and apple slices from the neglected plate in the center of the table. "They give you all the means to indulge, but it's one of the things they measure on. So pace yourself." Looking at the variety of foods available to my poor tortured-by-boredom palette, I thanked whatever powers that may be for the fact I'd discovered that little piece of truth in advance. And even though I had, holding back the urge to gorge myself was… exhausting. One burger. Lots of veggies and fruit. I rolled my eyes and dove into the chicken first, eating hungrily. Oh, and it was so well prepared. It was strange having the cafeteria of fifty people so quiet - just the sounds of cutting and chewing. I guessed social elements weren't really as important as food. I sipped the glass of chocolate milk - CHOCOLATE MILK! - and smiled happily, my head in my arms again. "Such a good meal… I like Phase Three a lot." Audrey made it abundantly clear just how little my advice meant to her, but I resolved to stay strong. Someone had helped me, before. And now I wanted to help someone, too; Audrey fit the bill. She was just so stubborn. I gingerly chewed the burger - tiny little bites to make it last - and watched all of those around us. I didn't know when the weigh-ins would be, but I wasn't going to risk it. "You know, I haven't led you wrong yet, have I? This is a test of willpower and temptation. They make us into pretty girls and pretty girls have self control and restraint. It's a life lesson. Makes sense, right?" "I'll eat less for dinner." They'd probably made everyone skip breakfast today for the phase changes - they did take a long time, after all. Phase One to Two took an entire week - learning to take care of Firsts and learning the rules. Phase Two to Three, though, was oddly simple. I went into a room, was given new clothes, told very few rules, watched an hour-long program about the "individuality" and "creativity" building that Phase Three offered, along with it's goal to promote social development. It was a bit too after-school-special for me, though, and I found myself horribly bored. Regardless, no breakfast meant a big lunch. "As you wish." I smiled simply to myself and took a bite of celery. Would it kill them to have peanut-butter? I decided to bring it up with my next meeting with the Headmistress. "It's exciting, isn't it?" Advice didn't seem to pan out, so I resorted to small-talk. "I mean. Scary. In One and Two we knew what was expected of us. And now this, where we don't really know a thing…? It's pretty thrilling. What're your plans when you get out?" "Not really scary. Just be good. It was pretty simple." And when I messed up, the Headmistress was quick to correct me. Sit with knees together, ankles out. And when I got back to the room, I'd have to do my hair and put lipgloss on. It was really very simple, actually. "When I leave? I don't know. Can't go home - not like this. My sister would tease me so bad." I smiled, but a stone fell through my stomach… I'd never see my family again… "My family disowned me. Like. Actually, legally so. They have a restraining order, too. Isn't that all sorts of messed up? I mean I get it ~ with what I did? But still. Really harsh. I don't much know what I want now, but Phase Two really brought out my maternal side. Just wanna take care of someone. A child, or someone who just wants me to show them everything will be okay. That's why I try to do good here, because the sooner I'm out? The sooner I can find my special someone." I had a sort of wistful tone in my voice as I spoke, my inflections airy and my gaze focused on a particular light fixture. "I have this dream, sometimes. About this girl I take care of. She's a criminal and we're on the run, hiding in hotels and working where we can. And she relies on me so much. And I take care of her." I looked down from my fixation on the ceiling and bit my lip shyly. "She can't talk. Not except to me. When anybody else is around, she's mute. She needs me and trusts me, and just to… to feel that? Wow. I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm so sorry." "Well, when you're out of here, you won't be running." I wasn't sure how that fit into her dreams, but it seemed like a bonus. "I mean, you'll be able to find your someone and take care of them normal. Like, in one place." I wasn't a very profound girl, though - I never was as a boy, either - and I suddenly felt like my words were particularly useless. "I can't talk, sometimes. I mean, it's really just one guy. The Hypno tech when I was a First and Second. I have no idea why. I just can't get a word out around him. Which sucks, because Hypno scares me a lot… I wish I could ask what he was doing." I bit my lip and played with the edge of my empty-except-for-crumbs plate. "But Thirds get a new Hypno tech, so it'll be fine." She was opening up to me a little more now and that made me smile ~ looks like small talk was the answer. "Why can't you talk around him?" It seemed the wrong thing to ask so soon, though, so I followed up with an easier thing to manage. "Hypno used to scare me, but it's like a roller coaster ride for me now. I get on. I'm not much sure what happens. And I get off. I don't really think its changed me any, but isn't that the point? Not to know? I sometimes wonder what my old friends would think of me now. They'd probably rape me..." Now there's a sobering thought. I shrugged my shoulders and kept drawing circles on the cafeteria table, the plastic plate pushed away. Some people were still eating, and it didn't seem we were allowed to leave yet. It was probably on a timer. After all, we had social interaction here. It differed so much from the dining hall as a Second. "I don't know. I mean, I just can't. I try to talk and… nothing happens. Maybe it's something they did to me - maybe I was being annoying one day." But Hypno started on day two, and I didn't get in trouble until day three. I shook my head in confusion. It was always an anomaly, and I'd decided long ago not to bother with it. It was probably that man in particular. "Which man was it? The tall one with the glasses, or the tubby one who always smelled of lemon lime & bitters?" It was strange for me to say that - I didn't actually remember what that smelled like. Just that once upon a time I'd made the connection with the man and that memory had stuck. Across from us at the table, two of the girls had already started babbling like high-schoolers and it became apparent just how much a bonding experience real food could be. "I don't like the one with the glasses. Creeps me out. Like he's fantasized about one too many pretty little sissy boys." "Mine was tubby… but I don't know what that smells like, so it could be someone else." I still had my head down, though I was looking up at Staycee, now. Conversations started up around us but they all seemed like white noise to me. "I liked him. He was sweet. He'd always smile and talk even though I couldn't talk back. All the staff here are really nice. I guess it beats prison, huh?" Then again, in a lot of ways, it really didn't. But since I'd gotten out of Phase One, I was much less bothered. "Tha's…" I paused for a moment and tried to remember the technicians name. "Vel-… no, that's stupid. Uh. Oh! Oh! Edgar, right? I think." I smiled happily - as the Phase's continued inexorably, memory was becoming more and more a commodity to be held onto. At least for me. It was the same for everybody, though. "This place really messes with your memory, huh?" I actually felt an ache at the sides of my head for a moment, like little needles stabbing… and then it passed. "I guess…" There wasn't a whole lot to remember about the facility - the rules were very clear and everything else would likely never leave me with how humiliated I had been. But it did seem like I'd been here forever when it had only been a six months. Maybe that's what she meant. The doors to the hallways opened and some of the girls got up to leave. I climbed off the bench I was sitting on and followed behind them, Staycee a pace behind me. I found myself a little lost in thought as we wandered back to our room, but by the time we got there I was my usual peppy self. "So, Audrey… you must have been a gorgeous looking boy to turn out as pretty as you have." It wasn't like me to be flirtatious and I s'pose it wasn't even flirting, per se. Just observation, Admiration. "Were you gay? I mean, before?" It was a rarer thing for it to happen, but I couldn't imagine this girl ever having been a boy who chased after the fairer sex. I frowned and crossed my arms, walking past Staycee to the vanity and picking out hair ties. I probably shouldn't have been so offended, given I was wearing a schoolgirl uniform and putting my hair in pigtails, but I really was. "No, I wasn't gay. I've always liked girls." I was a pretty nice looking boy, I knew, but the amount I'd changed in six months surprised even me. Then again, Staycee would never be mistaken as a boy, nor would anyone else in this Phase. Still, there was something particularly beautiful about Staycee. She was just… a better girl. By the time Audrey replied, I was laying down on the bed on my stomach, cradling my chin in the palms of my hands. "Well, you're going to make an amazing wife for some lucky girl out there." I pursed my lips and looked thoughtful. "They made me like boys. It was one of the criteria the judge put in place, because I can't be trusted with girls. Made the families really happy, you know? So they skipped due process and made me like boys. Well. Not boys specifically, but their… bits." My cheeks were glowing now and I laid my head on my arms. "It sucks, too, you know? Because I really do adore girls." "That sucks…" I really did sympathize. This facility had taken so much of Colin away, and so much of Audrey was manufactured. I wasn't even sure any of me was left… "Oh… look." I grabbed a paper off the vanity and held it up for Staycee to see. It was a schedule. And with a clock, it felt like a whole new system. I glanced over the paper and read aloud. "Lights on - 6am. Breakfast - 8am. Class A - 9:30am to 11:30am. Lunch - Noon. Audrey - Hypno/Staycee - Class B - 1:30pm to 3pm. Staycee - Hypno/Audrey - Class B - 3:30pm to 5:00pm. Dinner - 5:30pm. Lights out - 9pm." That's complicated… "Um… Disclaimer - classes differ depending on the day/week/social structure. Follow the attached chart for room numbers…" "Oh!" I peered over the shorter girls shoulder at the timetable and glowed with a smile. Structure. Order. Oh, things felt so much better already. "It's all so strange. I mean, some parts of me just crave the rigor and structure of Phase One. But a bigger part of me just wants to spread my wings and embrace all this. I mean, what's it even mean? Classes differ on social structure? It's all so vague." My tone had started to sound almost… desperate by the end and I frowned, falling back on the bed. "I just wanna do well…" "Well… it's fifteen minutes until our first class. Or… your first class. I have Hypno." I looked down the list with a blissful smile. Hypno wasn't structured. Hypno rooms are as follows > Name list > Number. Done. Staycee and I had the same Hypno room, it seemed. "Your is… um… week one, Monday…" Monday, right? Yeah, says so on the clock. "That's this column. Punishment day, normal day? I guess… normal day, right? ID starts with…" I felt sick to my stomach. This was like the spreadsheet from Hell or something. "I think… 322. For you. And 308 for me. But you might wanna double checks yours. It confused me…" "Uhhuh…" My voice was vague as I lay there and gathered up my thoughts, then sat up with the best smile I could manage. "Make sure to tell me all about our Hypno tech when we catch up, okay? I like to know people. It's how I stay good at this stuff. I watch and listen and know." It was my thing, and it made me smile to know that it was. Nobody else paid attention like I did. "What do you think the Hypno courses are going to be, as Thirds?" Conversation. Small talk. That kept things normal. Can't get freaked out, Staycee! It's competitive, now. It's important to do well, not just to pass. I shrugged my shoulders and stepped away from the vanity, my hair in low pigtails, as would be proper. "I have no idea. I guess I'll be able to tell you in an hour and a half, huh?" Then again, I never remembered any of my Hypno sessions. It was more like falling asleep. But maybe I could ask. After all - I'd have a new tech. "Only thirteen minutes - I should go and try to find this place. See you back here after class." "Ah, yes. Audrey. Please come in." The man who answered the door after three small knocks was a tall, lanky man without much expression to his long, drawn face. Thick-rimmed glasses framed dark green eyes that sat sunken into eye-sockets just a little too deep, and his voice wavered between deep and scary-deep every few syllables. He waited for the girl to enter the room and closed the door behind her with a sharp click, his long thin lips pulling into the faintest hint of a leer as he watched every little footstep the girl took. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. "Nice to meet you." Did that come out? I opened my eyes at the tall man in front of me, smiling down, though he said nothing. No "Nice to meet you too." I sighed and tried again, but like the first time, no words… no sounds. So it wasn't just Edgar. It was all Hypno techs. What the hell sense did that make?! I gave a small wave instead and fiddled with the hem of my skirt. The quiet girl sparked a particular interest in the man and as she fiddled with her hemline, he stood over her and addressed a chart that had taken its place in his fingertips during his approach. "No need to be frightened, hypnosis is nothing to be afraid of. In-fact, I quite adore it. Don't you, pet?" He motioned to the chair in the center of the room. "Please do sit." What are you going to do? What is the Third hypnosis about? But still, no words, and that meant no answers. If only I had a pen and paper… but the idea of reading and writing was wiped out of me in One. Before Three, I knew they gave me the ability to read back, but I wasn't sure about the writing thing. Still, I took my seat in the chair and looked up at the headpiece. Always the same headpiece. Still, this session was a half hour longer than Phases One and Two… The man leaned over Audrey and fiddled with the head-set, gently pulling it down closer to her head before stopping and looking into her eyes with his very deep-set sockets. He stared at her for entirely too long to be comfortable; his breath smelled of stale cigarette smoke and coffee and as his eyes bore into the soul of the girl in the chair. "You're quite beautiful, you know. Perhaps the most beautiful girl I've seen in this dark, empty place." They were words with the potential to be wonderful, deep and touching… but they simply weren’t. "You're a very quiet one, aren't you? Perhaps there just aren't any words worth passing those pretty lips of yours." It was one of those compliments that just… couldn't help but come across as off-putting. There was nothing wrong with the words, or even the inflection and delivery. It was just him, just the way it was obvious that he meant these things despite the fact he was talking to a sixteen year old girl with the mind of a ten year old. I nodded my head. What else could I do? I tried getting comfortable in the chair, but it felt so foreign to me. It was the same make, the same model, the same everything, but not the same chair, and not the same tech. I wondered if hypnosis could even work with a tech I didn't trust - and it wasn't that I didn't trust this new man! He was just… new. New people take time to get used to, right? "Relax now, pet. You're tense. There's no need to be. Hypnosis is a very intimate experience. Very special. Relax now, and let me take away all those fears and worries." One hand had gently slipped around Audrey's and the other was reached up, bringing the headset closer to the girls pretty head of hair. He was close to her; probably inappropriately so. But there was something in his cold eyes, something that wasn't there before. A little spark. An interest. The visor came down over my eyes and the next thing I knew all the light was gone. The voice of the Hypno tech was gone, too. I felt a small cold chill come over me as I thought about what this was: my first hypnosis of Phase Three. Anything could happen, now. Who I was could be rewritten the same way they'd rewritten me in Phase One and Two. And the worst part was, I'd never know the difference… The Headmistress had been very specific with her plans for Audrey and Staycee: that it would be dangerous for the two of them to express a romantic interest in one another. That the establishment of such could lead to side-effects the facility would rather not address - particularly in Staycee, who's dreams had already become an issue. It had therefore been made abundantly clear to the hypnosis technicians who would see them through Phase Three, that the standard conditioning for Thirds - which compelled each and every Third to express romantic interest in their room-mate (pairings that had each been chosen for specific reasons) was not to be applied to either Audrey or Staycee. And yet, now, as a result of a clouded moment… that very program was running through Audrey's headset. The technician watched her as she sighed and twitched, the reflection of the bright lights on her face illuminating soft delicate features and as the session continued… Audrey began to smile. The technician smiled, too, not at all aware of his mistake. Still, without the same mistake being applied to Staycee… how bad could things be? Hypno sessions were always so obscure to me - no matter how many times it happened, it still always felt like I'd fallen asleep during a movie. The machine was lifted off my head and I looked up at the man with the glasses. I'd been under that helmet so many times that the dizziness that frequented the Hypno processes had left me entirely. Still, I remained where I was for an extra second out of sheer ritual. What had he changed? The dizzy look on the girls face was always his favorite part of this job; that dazed look as a pretty little thing accepted the fact that their mind had been violated, penetrated and taken by force. Any brute could force himself upon a girl, but it took a very special kind of man to taken ownership of her mind. He shook his head and the little smile faded away as he helped the girl from her chair. "How do you feel, pet? Perhaps you should head back to your room and lay down, no?" The usual focus questions; drawing attention to the room-mate, observing reactions? They went unasked. After-all, the technician hadn't realized his mistake. Still, the writing had been written on the walls and it was only a matter of time before the programming took hold of the poor girl before him. "Hurry along, now." I nodded, still in a mild state of bliss, and wandered out into the hallway. It was at least fifteen steps before I realized I wasn't going the right way. I came back into the bedroom a minute later finding Staycee half-undressed, in only her panties and… a bra? I very quickly turned around, my cheeks lighting up. Why was I shy? I'd changed diapers before! "Um… hey. How was… um… Class B." Class B, right? According to the schedule, that could be anything. "It was really fun!" My voice was bright and airy as I fussed over clothes in the closet and turned back around, standing with my knees together and my hands on my hips. "Lookie? First bra. What do you think? I don't really fill it out yet and it's padded, but they said I will." And I had to pause because that notion made me really happy. "I'm really super excited. The class was on proper layering. Like. Putting together outfits and stuff. I mean, the first half hour was everybody being sized for our bras and…" Audrey wouldn't turn around, though, and I pouted a little. "…hey! Come on. Look. It's my first bra, I want to be fawned over!" "Uhhuh…" I felt my cheeks get hot as I approached Staycee, being particularly careful not to look at her chest. But her underwear wasn't a good idea either, so I focused on her toes. Did we get to paint nails sometime in this phase? "It's really nice… super happy for you. Probably getting mine next class, huh? Oh, next class!" I looked at the time - we were both back fifteen minutes early! That meant 45 minutes until my Class B… "…I really should… um… get ready. Redo my hair or something." Why was I so flustered?! It was just Staycee. "Hey…" I took a step forward and cupped the girls cheek softly, directing her gaze up to mine with a little smile. I didn't know where the sudden surge of maternal care had come from, but I was knee-deep in it now and it wasn't like I could stop. "You okay, pretty girl? You seem shaken. Did something happen in Hypno? Did you have Edgar?" I couldn't imagine Edgar actually making her as physically skittish as she was at the moment; he was really a sweet guy despite the evidence to the contrary. So why was she so shaken? "Um… nuh uh…" Her eyes were really lovely… but they were the same as my eyes. The same as everyone’s eyes! Why didn't I find everyone else's eyes so pretty?! I shook my head and pulled away, and then the feeling of her skin not on mine made my stomach sink. I bit my lip and quickly went to the vanity, taking out my pigtails and trying again. "Um… had… the guy with the glasses. He was nice. I mean, he complimented me a lot, which… I guess isn't so weird." I always got compliments here, even as a First. Penelope couldn't even believe I was a boy. A little wince came to my mind and I frowned at the thought. "He flirted with you? Gah. He's so creepy! You're sixteen and he's like a thousand years old. Ew ew ew ew!" I hoisted myself up to sit on the vanity, looking down at Audrey with a smile on my face and nothing on but underwear. "Are you okay? Did you tell him to go to hell?" She didn't, of course; we knew better than to bad-mouth staff, but still. I would've wanted to tell him that. And that's enough. "Couldn't talk. I hate that. Something they did, I'm sure. But it's whatever…" I made absolutely sure not to look at Staycee, keeping my eyes on me in the mirror, adjusting my pigtails, then taking them out again, then starting over. "He's not that old… maybe forty something. And he wasn't flirting. It was just a compliment. Like when I say you're beautiful…" I felt my cheeks heat up and I had to force myself not to break eye contact with myself. "It's not flirting…" My voice had absolutely no confidence, though. I bit my lip and looked down at the girl trying desperately to focus all her attention on her hair with a cheeky little smile on my face. "You think I'm beautiful?" The color that flushed through her cheeks was more than enough answer, but hearing her answer with that pretty little voice of hers would be even better than the blush. And I really liked blushing girls. "Uhhuh…" I tied my hair in pigtails in complete silence, and again, pulled them out. I had already tied one back up when I froze, looking at myself in the mirror. "Oh crap…" I frowned and looked down at the vanity in front of me, grabbing one of the lip glosses. I went to Hypno without it? And after the Headmistress told me specifically… I sighed and smeared as much as I could on my lips, clearly smearing it all over my skin, and tied the other pigtail up. And how did you sit in the chair, Audrey? Like a Third? She was panicking and that caused a little more of my maternal feelings to show as I slid down off the vanity and leaned in close, running my thumb along the outline of her lips to clean away the excess gloss. "Quality, not quantity. Put it on right in as few motions as possible. Like this." I pursed my lips and applied the gloss, one smooth line for each lip. "Then you purse, like this, and then use the edge of your thumb-nail to clean up any excess." I demonstrated those steps and looked down into her brilliant blue eyes. "And you're pretty gorgeous yourself, sweets. You know. For the record." "Uhhuh…" I was transfixed. I didn't know why - she'd put her lipgloss on in front of me once before. And still, the way she… I shook my head, my cheeks burning up, and resumed looking at my feet. What was wrong with me?! She was so uninteresting before… before Hypno? Was this a change they made? I made a mental note to check if I started feeling this way with anyone but Staycee - maybe in my Class B. Oh, no… I'd have to watch everyone else get fitted for bras! I couldn't feel like this with that many people! Ugh! What was wrong with me?! "You look really pale, Audrey. Come on, come lay down. We got like… twenty minutes, right?" I took her by the hand - subconsciously lacing my fingers into hers like I did with the girl in my recurrent dreams - and led the girl over to the bed, pointing with my free hand. "Lay down, come on. I'll sit up next to you and make sure you're up for our next session. Trust me?" I flashed a smile with teeth that had been wonderfully whitened some time during Phase One and in the warm light of our bedroom, it was pretty apparent just how perfect my skin was, too. Almost like a doll. I kept my eyes closed, but I didn't sleep. It wasn't right. They couldn't mess with my head and make my stomach feel weird and make me dizzy and… and it wasn't fair! After Class B, I would stay and ask to speak to the Headmistress. She was always willing to talk to me. I'd tell her whatever they did I wanted it gone. I didn't like it. I just felt so… so anxious. Like at any minute something could jump out of the wall. So I kept my eyes closed and counted silently until Staycee nudged me. I passed a casual smile before hurrying out of the bedroom, giving a wave and dashing down the hallway. It took me a minute of leading against the wall to get my heart rate under control, and it was only then I realized I didn't know what room I was supposed to go to. Ugh… "Hey!" The chipper voice came from a girl with a mess of bright blonde curls that flowed down over her shoulders. Like everybody else, she had sparkling blue eyes; but unique to her were patches of freckles on her cheeks that almost shined when she smiled. "You lost? I'm Aimee. I know, I don't much like it either but my Second was kind of a ditz and had no imagination. What's your name?" "Um… Audrey…" I looked back down the hallway, my room out of sight. Staycee had probably left - it was safe to go back. Still… "I'm not really… lost. I mean. I don't know where I'm going. Gotta get my chart from my room. It's that way." I pointed with my finger, but still, my feet didn't move. "Come on, I'll come with you. What've you got now? I've got Class B. Whatever that means." The airy flow to the girls voice could've sounded dangerously Disney-esque if not for her properly formed and varied inflections; she actually just sounded… happy. But happiness wasn't unusual in Phase Three; by the time most of us got here we were pretty content with the direction we were taking. Still, Aimee managed to carry that happiness with an amazing level of authenticity. "Yeah… um… okay." I led the way down the hall and Aimee followed behind. I knew she had Class B as well, but that didn't surprise me. From what I'd gathered, Class B would be a very different thing for different people. As I suspected, when I made it back to my room, Staycee wasn't there. I let out a small sigh and went over to the paper. Audrey… Week one, Monday… normal day… ID number… I bit my lip and looked up at Aimee. "It's this one, right? 383?" "Yuppers. Looks like we got a class together." She looked over at the vanity and fingered the lipgloss most recently used, before turning around with a smile. "Is she pretty? She's got a good taste in lipgloss." It was an obtuse question, but nothing seemed particularly obtuse coming from this girl. She just had a radiance about her. I pinned the sheet back onto the vanity for safe keeping and slipped the lip gloss Aimee was fingering into my skirt pocket. I wasn't sure why… "She's… she's really pretty. I don't know how. I mean, I knew the moment she got here, and even at lunch and stuff… there's just no one in this whole building as pretty as her. I bet she's prettier than Fourths!" I felt my cheeks heat up at the way I was talking about her and suddenly felt really foolish. "I mean, I don't know how she does it…" The blonde girl smiled knowingly at the girl with a cheeky grin. "Sounds like somebody has a crush. Prettiest girl here? Prettier than me?" She batted her eyelashes and pursed her lips. The answer was clear, though; for everything Aimee had going for her… there was just something lacking. Something Staycee had, a certain flair to the way she carried herself. A spark. That was a good way to put it. A spark that shone so much brighter than any of the conditioning. Something only Staycee had. And it was almost... magical. A crush…? I very quickly shook my head and my cheeks got hot. "No, no, no! It's not like that! It's… it's… just… I'm saying how it is. She's pretty. And I don't mean to be mean or anything - you're pretty too, but she's… but it's not anything. It's just true. It's not like that, I swear…" The silence that followed was dreadfully awkward, though, and I realized how frantic I sounded… "Don't we… um… have to go to class?" The clock already flashed 3:32. "Shoot, yes. Come on." Aimee took off running down the hall; she didn't know much about how all this worked but she did know that being late wouldn't do at all. The clock in the classroom read 3:35 by the time the two girls got there, and it was obvious from the two empty chairs at the tables that they were the only ones who'd been late, too. The woman at the front of the class stopped talking and the class hushed. "Audrey. Aimee. So nice of you both to join us. Class, Audrey and Aimee are of the belief that they have more important things to do than come to class." She turned to the two of them and frowned. "Sit. Be quiet. And if you're lucky, you'll both be given your first bras today." The classes were very small. I counted ten girls along with Aimee and myself. That meant there were five of these classes that took place… though I wasn't sure how that worked with Hypno involved. The woman at the front of the room talked a lot and it was all about clothing. Clothing was never something I was very interested in, even as a boy. The way I saw it, if it was something in my color, I'd wear it. Simple as that. Then she started calling people to the front of the room and, right in front of everyone, the girls would take off their blouses or respective dresses. I thanked whatever God was watching me that I wore a two piece outfit that day. But it was like the teacher said… Aimee and I might not get our chance. After all, she started at the front. "There is nothing that defines you as women more than your breasts, girls. Only the most special of visitors will see below your waistline, and only if you so choose. But your breasts make you a woman. They're on display at all times, they're the defining characteristic that sets you aside from the boys you all once were." Aimee actually looked stressed over the idea that she might not get her bra, and it was with great relief that she was called up next, along with Audrey. "Know that from this point onward, you are girls. You are more girl than you have ever been and more girl than you ever will be. With this simple garment, with the undeniable truth of your breasts… you are girls. And everything else beyond this is merely dessert." She finished fastening Aimee's bra and the blonde girl lit up in a smile that was bright even for her. "Your turn, Audrey." Unlike the others who received garments in simple white… Audrey's bra was blue. Her blue. And it was very obvious from the moment the woman lifted it off her desk. "Are you ready, Audrey?" I was a little concerned, looking back at Aimee as she slid the pinafore back down her body. Her bra was white. Everyone’s bras were white. Even Staycee's bra was white. And mine was blue… "Uhhuh… okay…" The woman helped me into the bra in front of nine other people, fastening it behind my back, and allowed me to put my blouse back on. I'd never felt so uncomfortable… "Audrey, each other girl will earn their bra in their own color. You've been selected by the Headmistress to be the first to do so; to help inspire the other girls." And it was clearly having the desired result… nine pairs of eyes looked enviously at Audrey; the girl who got to have a bra in her own special color. It wasn't resentment or upset… it was out and out envy. Aimee pouted and puffed out her cheeks. "Miss, how do I earn my peach-colored bra?" The woman smiled and looked at Audrey, then at Aimee. "One more of you will earn your color by the end of todays class. So everybody try extra hard. Now, sit down. We have a lot to cover, girls." I… was first? I took my seat, again, at the back with Aimee in complete disarray. What did I do? Or was it randomly chosen? I did get my color on only my second day, so maybe it was related to that. Still, I was late to class… I didn't understand this. Still, it wasn't worth arguing over - I was picked. I should be happy. So I was. I smiled proudly throughout the entire class as the students did their best to impress the teacher before us. Aimee wound up being given her peach-colored bra by the end of the class and by the thing things had come to a close, there were ten more girls in the world who understood the fundamentals of layering, color contrast and matching, and complementary fabric texture. "Who knew there was so much to learn? I wore flip-flops and jeans with a band tee before. Never even considered any of this." Aimee was bubbly, though; she got her bra and as far as she was concerned that made her pretty special. "I'll walk you to your room, but then I gotta go find Lali. She's my roomie. It was really great hanging out with you, though! Make sure to say hi to that cutie of yours for me, alright?" "Uhhuh." I made sure to give Aimee a complimentary goodbye and a heavy congratulations on her bra - though that seemed like the strangest thing in the world if you really thought about it. Aimee left me alone and I wandered into my room. No Staycee. I wandered to the mirror and looked at myself. The bra really did a lot. I mean, it only brought me to an A cup, even with the padding, but still, it seemed so… different. I had curves now. I didn't look ten anymore. It wasn't clear to me exactly what time it was, or how long Audrey had been in the room by the time I stumbled in and collapsed on the bed. But she was here. And now I was. And I felt intensely dizzy and exhausted. "Dun' get it… never felt so bad after Hypno…" I rationalized it to being the longer session, but my vision was blurred and my temples ached and I just wanted the room to stop spinning. Because if it didn't… I might've thrown up. And it was such a pretty bed. I managed to look up for long enough to see Audrey across the room and I smiled. "Pretty bra… your color, right?" "Huh…?" I looked down at my top and my cheeks burned up. White blouse, blue bra. Looks like it was a good thing you were paying attention in class, Audrey, because this outfit wouldn't work without a white under top. I quickly went over to the closet and picked out a camisole, then unbuttoned my blouse, slipped it on, and buttoned it back up. Much better. "So Hypno wasn't good? Sorry to hear…" I still had my back to my roommate. "Head feels like its going to explode…" I pulled a pillow over my head and squeezed it tight, emerging a few moments later to add in. "Come lay with me? Make it all better?" Despite the fact that I was dubious about the healing qualities of cuddles, I was still ready enough to believe in the magic of faith healing when it came to Audrey. She was still facing away, though, fidgeting with her blouse after having slipped into a cami to hide the lines of her bra. I bit my lip and the strange anxiety feeling filled me up again. Lay with her… well of course I was going to lay with her. It was my bed, too! Though this time, unlike as a Second, we each had our own pillows. I climbed in bed, over the covers, and put my head down next to Staycee's. My heart was racing… why hadn't I talked to the Headmistress about this?! Because it wasn't them… I didn't feel the strange anxiety with other people in class. Not with Aimee, and Aimee was so nice. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. What the hell was this…? It wasn't something I'd ordinarily have done, especially given how negatively she'd reacted to my being pushy earlier today… but I rolled over and draped one leg over the girl next to me and cuddled up close to her chest. It wasn't anything intimate, really: just comforting. A friend thing. And she was my best friend, after-all. "Did your head hurt this bad…?" My voice was quiet and contemplative, as if my words might disturb the comfort of us both. "Nuh uh… felt fine the whole time…" It wasn’t entirely true - I felt fine until I got back into the room. But it wasn't the hypnotism. It was Staycee. But it couldn't be Staycee… but with her cuddled close, her forehead against my cheek, her arm and her leg draped over me… I felt my cheeks burning and my heart racing. Maybe she wouldn't notice… if I asked the Headmistress, maybe she could tell me. Maybe she knew - she always knew everything. "You're… anxious." Despite the churning in my head, I managed to sit up and after a half dozen blinks, I even focused my eyes. It was shameful that the only reason I knew so much about her responses was because I used to sedate girls against their will. But this was at least a noble use for the knowledge. "Your heart is racing. And your breathing is off. And your speech is difficult." I crawled up next to her and placed the back of my hand against her forehead. "You're a little warm, too. What's the matter, pretty girl? Let Staycee help. What's got you all flustered and upset?" I shook my head, crawling out from under… but no, I didn't move. I was frozen? No, that couldn't be right… but with her hovering over me, her smile, her eyes, her hand on my forehead, then on my cheek, I felt the walls breaking down. I couldn't move. I didn't want to! And still, my heart rate increased so badly… what the hell… "Um… not… upset, I… just like… um… with…" What was I saying? What was the question? "Come on, prettiness. You can tell me anything." One finger ran up the girls cheek to her hairline and I brushed an errant bang out of the way, looking down at her with the same blue eyes she had. Eyes I'd come to be proud of having. "Is it something that happened in class? I notice your bra is in your color. And I'm sorta jealous. Was it that? Is that why you're upset; the bra thing? Because it's so cute…" My head was still swimming and I'd have been lying if I could claim to be able to even discern the color of her bra anymore. I was fading, and I knew it. But a few more minutes… just to make sure she was okay? I could do that. I couldn't shake my head… couldn't even think of a word to say. I wanted to explain the bra thing - she seemed curious - but somehow those words were lost on me. She was so close… and she smelled so sweet… but the next instant, she was closing her eyes and falling asleep next to me. And I was broken from her trance. "Hey, Staycee? You there? Hey, wake up!" But she wasn't budging. I quickly ran out into the hallway, looking right and left for someone. I didn't know the layout well enough… so I ran. I ran down the hallway knocking on all the doors until someone came out that wasn’t dressed like a twelve year old. "Staycee passed out. Or… or maybe fell asleep. But I can't wake her up!" "I'm fine… I just didn't eat very much at lunch, and you know… we didn't have breakfast." The woman who stood by the side of my bed looked concerned, but not entirely unconvinced. She looked at the worried-and-pacing Audrey and smiled. "I'll go and get you two some food brought up. Take good care of her." The woman left us and I sat up as best I could, looking sheepishly across at Audrey. "Sorry… must've fainted. I'm not sure what happened. Must be the food thing, right? I really didn't mean to worry you. Who was that, anyway? Was she a nurse, or just admin?" I shrugged my shoulders, sitting on the edge of the bed in complete discontent. Between my worry and the anxiety in my stomach, I felt altogether dreadful. "She was just a woman at one of the doors… I didn't ask her name or anything." Still, the food thing made sense. Staycee had so stubbornly eaten only one burger at lunch, and she'd probably skipped breakfast. I smiled a little and put my hand on Staycee's hip. She was under the covers now, though, and it made things easier. "I'm glad you're okay… scared me a little." "I really didn't mean to. I'll eat whatever you tell me to eat when food gets here. You can be in charge of me. How's that sound? Your own little Staycee-doll to feed and take care of?" I meant it as an encouraging statement, but Audrey looked away, biting her lip. "Uhhuh… okay…" I wanted to. I didn't know why, but I wanted to. Why would I want something that made me anxious?! It didn't make any sense! Still, I'd agreed, and that was that. The woman never came back, though a cafeteria worker brought us each a plate of food. I guessed it was somewhere around dinner time, so it seemed we'd be missing the get-together. As instructed, I fed Staycee her food. I ate the burger off her plate and instead fed her my chicken with a plastic fork. It was serene. The chicken was really lovely, and for the entire time I didn't even think about my figure. With the food gone and my dizziness along with it, I reached up and put my hand on her cheek. "Thanks for taking care of me. Nobody really looks out for anyone here. It's why I wanna help you. So thank you, Audrey. You're a doll." We didn't stay up late. We turned the lights out just after dinner and Staycee drifted very quickly off to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn't have the same pleasure with her cuddling so close. It wasn't until exhaustion beat out my anxiety that I managed to follow Staycee’s lead.
  5. Gabriela is 32 years old and is an executive for Dynamean Corporation who have a multitude of products and are involved in multiple markets. Gabriella only recently got promoted to an executive position after years of working with the company and years of college. She loves her job and that let anything interrupt it. Not even her baby crazy significant other.
  6. A new roommate (private w/baby goth)

    Phoebe was a 28 year old who had recently finished her PhD in Economics. After doing that she bought herself a condo in a decent sized suburban city and really wanted to focus more on her personal life after so much time in school. She taught a handful of classes online to support herself. One thing Phoebe had always been into was the ab/dl scene... though she'd never really done much in person, she had always imagined what it would be like to have a girl or boy of her own in diapers. It got her excited anytime she thought about it. She would love to take care of someone like that, but also found a thrill in the idea of taking an otherwise normal adult and trying to turn them into her baby. Phoebe decided she would try to enact her fantasy on her soon to be roommate, 19 year old Erin. She had met Erin once, when Erin came by to see the place. Erin seemed to her like a bit of a keep to herself type...she was a bit below average height and pretty thin. Phoebe could tell Erin wasn't much of a girly girl but something about her made Phoebe think she might just be the right 'type'. Though Phoebe literally knew almost nothing about her. Phoebe had decided to start with a few bold moves on day one to really get an idea of if Erin could be her little girl. It was 5pm and Phoebe knew Erin would be arriving soon. Phoebe told Erin the room would be fully furnished so she figured Erin wouldn't have much to move in. Phoebe was taller, about average build but decently busty...she was in light wash jeans and a casual loose fitting top that exposed a shoulder. Her hair was dark brown and medium length back in a ponytail.
  7. Gabrial is a 22 year old coming home after finishing his fifth year in college as he is working on his master's degree. He doesn't visit home very often and rarely calls home as he tries to be as independent as possible. As consequence for his attemps he has not talked to his mother in almost a year as he did not go home for Christmas break or spring break. He just hopes his mother hasn't been too lonely without her only son.
  8. 6th grade to pre k

    This is my first time doing a role play so please bare with me. Only join this role play if you intend to do more than one word responses, whole sentences replies only. I hate to see one basic sentence or one work replies, they drive me nuts. This will be a story of Gabby, a freshly turned 11 year old who is excited to start 6th grade in a week and be in middle school. Shes excited to go training bra shopping, and for her Mom to start treating her more like an adult but life has other plans for little Gabby. I'll play Gabby I need someone to play her Mom.
  9. Hello everyone, I haven’t had a chance to work on my major stories for a while, because my computer has been in the shop. So I decided to write this as a kind of bedtime story for all the babies here who might want one. My goal was to write something that sounded like an old fable, with some diaper content for good measure. I hope you enjoy! As always, questions and comments are wonderful. The Fairies’ Gifts - by Selpharia Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a little village that sat on the edge of a forest. All of the people who lived in the village were very kind and good. The adults helped one another when they needed it, and the children all played happily together. And they all remembered to put out gifts for the fairies that lived in the forest, who made sure that the sun kept shining and the bushes were full of sweet red berries, and made the villagers clothes and shoes to keep warm in the cold, cold winter. And everyone was very happy. Everyone, that is, except Annabelle. Annabelle lived in the big stone house at the top of the hill. Her mama and papa had given her all she ever wanted, and everyone did whatever she said. She had toys that whistled and whirred, a pretty riding pony, and beautiful dresses made of silk and satin. But all that didn’t matter, Annabelle still wasn’t happy. She looked around her big stone house, at her toys that whistled and whirred, her pretty riding pony, and her beautiful dresses of silk and satin, and said, “This is not enough! I want more!” And so Annabelle tossed aside her toys and rode on her pony down to the village. When she got to the village, though, she saw all the gifts that the villagers had laid out for the fairies. For Sparkle, who made sure that the sun kept shining bright, the villagers had found a beautiful red stone that sparkled and shined. For Lychee, who kept the bushes full of sweet red berries, they wove a thimble-sized basket of golden straw to carry things in. For clever Cobble, who made them clothes and shoes to keep them warm in the cold, cold winter, they made a soft feathery cushion to rest on when she was tired from all that work. Annabelle looked at all these gifts and said to the villagers. “Why are you giving all these things to the fairies? I want them, and I am much more important than any fairy.” The villagers pleaded with Annabelle. “Miss, we can give you something else later, please don’t take the gifts for the fairies! Otherwise they’ll get angry, and who knows what they’ll do?” But Annabelle didn’t care. She grabbed up the beautiful red stone that sparkled and shined, the thimble-sized basket of golden straw to carry things in, and the feathery cushion to rest your head on, and brought them back to her big stone house on the hill. The villagers didn’t say anything. They were very upset, but they didn’t dare fight with Annabelle’s parents Later that night, the fairies came out of their forest, and saw the villagers beside themselves with sadness. “What’s the matter?” asked Sparkle, straightening her tiny red hat. “Is something wrong?” asked Lychee, smoothing her tiny green dress “It looks like something’s missing,” said Cobble, twirling her tiny brown coat “Oh fairies,” the villagers cried, “we’re so sorry! We had three lovely gifts for you, but Miss Annabelle took them away to her big stone house on the hill.” “Well then, that’s no problem.” said Sparkle. “Since she’s a big girl, we’ll just ask her nicely to return them.” said Lychee. “And then everything will be fine.” said Cobble. The fairies fluttered their wings and flew up to the big stone house on the hill. They squeezed their way under the door, and saw Annabelle sleeping right next to all the villagers’ lovely gifts. When the fairies came in, Annabelle woke up, and saw them standing there. But she wasn’t afraid, they barely came up to her ankle. “What are you doing here?” she asked angrily. “You stole our gifts!” said Sparkle “Please give them back!” said Lychee. “Or we’ll take something from you!” said Cobble. But Annabelle wouldn’t. “All these things are mine now” she said defiantly, “And there’s nothing you can do about it!” “We’ll see about that.” all three fairies said together. But before Annabelle could wonder what they meant, her eyes got heavy and she fell fast asleep in her big, soft bed. Annabelle woke up the next morning, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked around her big stone house and let out a gasp of surprise. The fairies’ gifts, the beautiful red stone that sparkled and shined, the thimble-sized basket of golden straw to carry things in, and the feathery pillow to rest your head on, every single one of them was twice the size they were the night before. But that wasn’t all. All her things that she loved so much had changed too. Her toys that whistled and whirred were replaced by wooden blocks, with letters of the alphabet painted on in bright, happy colors. And next to them was a rocking horse of cherry wood, whose blocky mane and tail looked just like the ones her pretty riding pony had. And last of all, her beautiful clothes of silk and satin were no more. Instead, a cornflower-blue cotton dress, with frilly lace and puffy sleeves, hung in her open dresser. Annabelle scowled a deep, deep scowl, and kicked her her suddenly teeny tiny feet in a terrible tantrum. “How could those stupid little fairies do this to me?” she shrieked. “I’ll teach them not to take my precious things!” She put on her frilly new clothes with a pout, and kicked the rest of her toys out of her way in a huff. Then, she stormed out of her big stone house and started to make her way down the hill to the village. But she was so small now that it was hard going. By the time she made it halfway down the hill, she was all tuckered out. In fact, the only reason she made it to the village at all, was that One of her maids, a sweet girl named Cecily, saw Annabelle toddling along and offered her a hand. “Little Miss Annabelle!”’ she exclaimed. “It’s dangerous for little girls like you to go into the village alone. I’ll go with you, and make sure you stay safe.” “How dare you?” Annabelle replied, glowering the kind of glower that only a little girl subject to the worst of tyrannies, like bathtimes or bedtimes, or no-dessert times, could muster. “I am not a little girl! I am very big, and can walk as far as I want, all by myself!” She stomped off again pridefully, while Cecily let out a little sigh and followed, looking knowingly at her little mistress. Soon enough, Annabelle was so tired that she had no choice but to command Cecily to carry her the rest of the way. “I’m tired. I can walk myself, but I want you to carry me now,” she demanded. Cecily certainly couldn’t refuse without getting in trouble, so she picked up the mistress in her arms, and they entered the village with a sleepy Annabelle cuddled against her maid’s white smock. When they entered the village, though, Annabelle was woken right up by the sound of music. The villagers were playing bright and happy songs to thank the fairies for all that they did. For Sparkle, who made sure that the sun kept shining bright, they played a big brass horn that went “bomp ba da bomp” For Lychee, who kept the bushes full of sweet red berries, they played a tight little drum that went “pat pata pat” And for clever Cobble, who made them clothes and shoes to keep them warm in the cold, cold winter, they played lovely wooden pipes that went “toot doodle oot.” Annabelle listened to all this music and said to the villagers, “Why are you playing all this music for the fairies?” I want you to play for me, and I’m far more important than any fairy.” The villagers pleaded with Annabelle, “Little Miss, we can play something else for you later, but don’t make us stop playing for the fairies. Otherwise, they’ll get angry, and who knows what they’ll do.” But Annabelle didn’t care. She yelled and stomped, until the villagers playing the big brass horn that went “bomp bada bomp,” the tight little drum that went “pat pata pat,” and the lovely wooden pipes that went “toot doodle oot,” agreed to play for her. They played for hours and hours, until they were so tired they couldn’t play anymore. Finally, Annabelle was satisfied, and commanded Cecily to bring her back to her big stone house on the hill. The villagers didn’t say anything. They were very upset, but they didn’t dare fight with Annabelle’s parents. Later that night, the fairies came out of the forest, and saw the villagers beside themselves with sadness. “What’s the matter?” asked Sparkle, straightening her tiny red hat. “Is something wrong?” asked Lychee, smoothing her tiny green dress. “Sounds like something’s missing,” said Cobble, twirling her tiny brown coat. “Oh fairies,” the villagers cried “We’re so sorry! We had three wonderful instruments to play beautiful music for you. But Little Miss Annabelle made us play for hours and hours, until we were so tired we couldn’t play anymore. Then she went back to her big stone house on the hill.” “Well then, that’s no problem,” said Sparkle. “Since she’s a little girl, we’ll just ask her to play with us instead,” said Lychee. “And then everything will be fine,” said Cobble. The fairies fluttered their wings and flew up to the big stone house on the hill. They squeezed their way under the door, and saw Annabelle sleeping right next to a pile of the villagers’ lovely gifts, murmuring snatches of the beautiful music that the villagers had meant for them. When the fairies came in, Annabelle woke up, and saw them standing there. But she wasn’t afraid, they barely came up to her waist. “What are you doing here?” she asked angrily. “You stole our music!” said Sparkle. “Please play with us instead!” said Lychee. “Or we’ll take something from you!” said Cobble. But Annabelle wouldn’t. “All that music is mine now,” she said defiantly. “And there’s nothing you can do about it!” “We’ll see about that,” all three fairies said together. But before Annabelle could wonder what they meant, her eyes got heavy and she fell fast asleep in her big, soft bed. Annabelle woke up the next morning and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked around her big stone house and let out a wail of distress. The fairies’ gifts, the beautiful red stone that sparkled and shined, the thimble-sized basket of golden straw to carry things in, and the feathery pillow to rest your head on, every single one of them was twice as big as they were the night before. But that wasn’t all. All her things that she loved so much had changed too. Her toys that whistled and whirred had changed again. Instead of wooden blocks with letters of the alphabet painted on in bright, happy letters, there was a white pacifier, its front shaped like a cheerful butterfly. Beside it was a rattly rattle with rings on the end. And next to them sat a plush horse with a squishy body whose mane and tail looked like the mane and tail her pretty riding pony had. Her beautiful clothes of silk and satin were still the cornflower blue cotton dress with frilly lace and puffy sleeves. But now a matching bonnet had joined the pile, along with the unmistakable cloud-white cloth of a diaper. What’s more, her big soft bed had become a crib, with bars so big she could barely peek over. Annabelle scowled a deep deep scowl, and kicked her suddenly teenier, tinier feet in a terrible tantrum. “Dumb fairies! This is no fair! No fair!” She screamed and cried until Cecily came rushing in. Her maid was so much taller than she’d been yesterday. She towered over Annabelle, and plucked her from her crib with ease. Cecily held Annabelle as effortlessly as she held a stack of dishes. “Baby Annabelle, what’s wrong?” Cecily cooed. “Not a baby!” Annabelle whined in protest. Her whine became an indignant shriek as Cecily stuck two cold fingers down the back of her diaper. “I knew it, somebody’s cranky because she’s a wet little miss, isn’t she?” the maid said in a singsong voice. Only after Cecily mentioned it did Annabelle realize how soggy and saggy her diaper was. But how could a big girl like she was possibly not have noticed? Surely this was the fairies’ fault too. But there was no way such tiny fairies could have such powerful magic, was there? This thought distracted her so much that she forgot to fuss as Cecily brought her to a changing table, (which Annabelle was sure had been a desk recently) removed her wet diaper and wiped her clean. Annabelle only noticed what had happened after her maid had finished pinning on her fresh new diaper. It really did feel much better, and immediately, she knew what she had to do. “I wanna go to the village!” she announced. She tried to wriggle free of Cecily’s grasp, but she couldn’t. “All right, baby girl,” Cecily said. “Let’s get you in your pram, and we’ll go for a walk.” “No!” Annabelle yelled, her face turning cherry red. “I wanna walk myself!” “Maybe when you’re older, cutie pie.”’ Cecily paid no heed to Annabelle’s defiant cries, and ignored her as she flailed her little feet. Soon, Annabelle found herself riding in the stroller down the hill to the village. It trundled along, rattling just a little at every bump in the road. Annabelle was still very angry, especially at those awful fairies, but the gentle motion of her pram quickly lulled her back to sleep. When they got to the village though, Annabelle was woken right up by the smell of baking. The villagers had made fresh, delicious pies to thank the fairies for all that they did. For Sparkle, who made sure that the sun kept shining bright, they baked an apple pie with the crispest apples they had ever grown. For Lychee, who kept the bushes full of sweet red berries, they baked a lemon pie with cream that was the fluffiest they had ever whipped. For Cobble who made them clothes and shoes to keep them warm in the cold, cold winter, they baked a pecan pie, with molasses that was the ooeyest, gooeyest molasses they had ever made. But Annabelle smelled all these delicious pies and said to the villagers, “ Don’t give any yummy pies to the fairies. Mine!” The villagers pleaded with Annabelle. “Baby girl, we can make something else yummy for you later. But don’t eat the pies we baked for the fairies. Otherwise, they’ll get angry, and who knows what they’ll do?” But Annabelle didn’t care. She leapt out of the pram, and used her bare hands to take a big scoop right out of all three pies. She took from the apple pie, with the apples that were the freshest they’d ever grown, from the lemon pie with the cream that was the fluffiest they’d ever whipped, and the pecan pie with the ooeyest, gooeyest molassses they’d ever made. She stuffed heaping helpings of each into her mouth, so big that she couldn’t fit them all at once. By the time she was done, her mouth was covered in sticky crumbs. When Annabelle was finally satisfied, she ordered Cecily to take her back to her big house on the hill. The villagers didn’t say anything. They were very upset, but they didn’t dare fight with Annabelle’s parents. Later that night, the fairies came out of the forest, and saw the villagers beside themselves with sadness. “What’s the matter?” asked Sparkle, straightening her tiny red hat. “Is something wrong?” asked Lychee, smoothing her tiny green dress. “Smells like something’s missing,” said Cobble, twirling her tiny brown coat. “Oh fairies,” the villagers cried, “we’re so sorry! We had three delicious pies for you to eat. But Baby Annabelle came and gobbled them all up. Then she went back to her big stone house on the hill.” “Well, that’s no problem,” said Sparkle. “Since she’s just a baby, we’ll ask her to say sorry,” said Lychee. “And then everything will be fine,” said Cobble. The fairies fluttered their wings and flew up to the big stone house on the hill. They squeezed their way under the door, and found Annabelle asleep next to a pile of the villagers’ lovely gifts, pacifier in her mouth, and her tummy full of the pies the villagers had meant for them. When the fairies came in, Annabelle woke up and saw them standing there. This time, she was a little afraid. They were all now as tall as she was. “Go away!” Annnabelle said angrily, spitting out her binky. “You stole our pies!” said Sparkle. “Please say you’re sorry!” said Lychee. “Or we’ll take something from you!” said Cobble. But Annabelle wouldn’t. “All my pies. Nyah-Nyah!” she said defiantly, sticking out her tongue. “We’ll see about that,” all three fairies said together. But before Annabelle could wonder what they meant, her eyes got heavy and she fell asleep in her big, soft crib. The next morning, Annabelle woke up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She was no longer in her big stone house on the hill. Instead, she found herself on a bed of soft ferns, in the middle of a mushroom circle deep in the forest. Annabelle was about to cry, but before she could, Sparkle put a binky that sparkled and shined in her mouth. The fairy was as tall as Cecily had been yesterday. “There there, baby, don’t cry,” said Sparkle. “We’ll take good care of you,” said Lychee. She popped one of her sweet red berries in Annabelle’s hands. “And we’ll do a better job than those silly humans did. No more being such a spoiled brat” finished Cobble, with a playful swat at Annabelle’s padded behind. She pulled a dress made of gossamer and dew over Annabelle’s puffy diaper, and sprinkled a bit of magic dust on her forehead. The fairies set about their work, making sure the sun kept shining bright, keeping the bushes full of sweet red berries, and making clothes and shoes to keep the villagers warm in the cold, cold winter. As they did, Annabelle floated along happily behind them, giggling. And as the years went by, Annabelle stayed under the fairies’ firm but loving care. She never got quite as big as the fairies, and they still treated her like their little baby. But once she got big enough, the fairies let her help them with their work. Shine let Annabelle hold her beautiful red stone that sparkled and shined, so she could tell exactly where to put the sun in the morning by how the light bounced off it. Lychee let Annabelle hold her thimble-sized basket of golden straw where she kept the sweet red berries for the bushes. And with Annabelle’s help, Cobble made better clothes and shoes than ever before. To the fairies’ surprise, Annabelle was glad to do all these things. They made her feel important, and she liked seeing her mommies happy. When they all went out of the forest to receive gifts, none of the villagers recognized that the baby fairy was Annabelle. They called her Crinkle after the sound she made as she zipped through the air with her three fairy mommies, and were always delighted to see her. And so, finally, everyone in the small village and the forest was happy. Especially Annabelle. The End
  10. I am Jared from Long Island, New York. I am a dependent little boy type who got here from regression. Back in plastic tape tab disposable diapers, using bottle, wearing bibs, Sesame Street tops and bottoms since they are more appropriate. I am more of an outdoors boy so I like Summer and Spring, warmer sunny days. Going to beaches and parks, feed the duckies, pail and shovel in the sand, playground, sandbox, zoo, daytime matinee kiddie movie at the movies. Also like board games, arts and crafts, blocks, coloring books.
  11. The Surrogate Baby

    Surrogate Baby Chapter One: My New Car “Beth, we bought you that car so you can get away from Peter and come home,” my mother said over the phone. It was a pre-paid phone, the phone that Mother bought for me when she came to visit last week and saw how Peter treated me. I still think she overreacted to my two black eyes. It was my fault. Peter had found dust on the top of the refrigerator. “I can’t today,” I said. “It’s only Thursday. Laundry day isn’t until Tuesday and I have nothing to wear.” “Your father and I don’t care what you wear,” my mother said. “Just throw something on.” I thought of the heavy padlock Peter had put on my bedroom closet. I couldn’t get to my clothes or my shoes. Even the clothes in my dressers were locked away from me. Only the drawer with my negligees was unlocked. Peter didn’t permit me clothing while he wasn’t around. I did have a pair of my jeans and a t-shirt in the dirty clothes basket, but that too was locked in the closet. I would not have access to it until Tuesday when I was to wash Peter’s and my clothes. “He locks the closet doors. I got to wait until Tuesday if I want to wear something besides lingerie on my great escape, Mother.” “He has you running around the house in your underwear?” Mother’s tone was angry. “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll be home on Tuesday after I finish the laundry.” “Fine, but don’t tell him about the car.” “I won’t.” I heard the front door rattle and quickly hung up and put the phone in its plastic bag and buried it in the flour canister on the kitchen counter. I did it just in time because Peter returned from work. “Is dinner ready?” he asked. “Almost,” I said. I put on a weak smile. Mother’s call had delayed me and Peter expected dinner to be ready immediately when he got home. I ran to the oven and pulled out the casserole I had started and put it on the table. I ran back to the cupboard and quickly opened a can of fruit and poured it in a serving dish. I put that on the table as well. “Dinner is ready now,” I said. He didn’t sit down. “When did I say dinner needed to be ready?” he asked. I looked down at my feet. “When you walk through the door,” I said. “And it wasn’t ready. Go get the belt.” I turned and ran to the bedroom and got the thick leather belt that Peter punished me with when I did bad things. I held it in my hands and imagined what that belt would do to me. I then turned and slowly walked back to Peter and handed him the belt. “Assume the position.” I unfastened my negligee and let I float to a pool around my ankles. After that I pulled down my panties and bent over. I closed my eyes and held my ankles as tight as I could. If I fell over while I was getting my beating, Peter wouldn’t stop. “You delayed dinner by fifteen minutes,” he said. He always calculated the time the spanking took with the actual delay. I heard the belt swish through the air and whack against my bared buttocks. I almost fell over and tried to get back into position. Two more spanks came and quick succession. One hit square on my bottom, but the other hit the back of my legs. I cried out with a shriek, but it did no good. I would get my fifteen licks no matter what I did. Four more spanks fell before I lost my balance. I fell forward, but tried to scramble back up. The beating didn’t stop. I took the last eight spanks on the ground before he finally stopped. Through my tears, I watched him sit down at the table and start eating. I wanted to stay on the floor, but I knew I better stand by in case he asked for something. I didn’t dare sit down and eat my meal because I was always banned from eating when I had a before meal spanking. “So, did you get all the other chores done today, or will we revisit the paddle,” he asked. “I scrubbed the bathroom, and dusted and vacuumed the front two rooms.” “Good,” he said. “Go to our room and wait for me there.” I knew that he was going to pretend for the rest of the day that he hadn’t hit me. It was then that my cellphone rang. Peter stood up and followed the sound of my phone to its place in the flour container. Who could be calling me? I thought. Only Mother had my phone number and she wouldn’t call me because it would give me away. He dug into the flour and pulled out my phone. “What’s this?” he asked. “Are you getting calls from a secret boyfriend?” He answered the phone and put it on speaker. To my horror, it was a man’s voice. “Vote for me this November because your vote is important to us.” I sighed with relief when I found it to be just a robocall for the election. He threw the phone at me and I dodged. The phone hit the kitchen floor and shattered. “Where did you get this phone?” he yelled. He picked up the flour canister and threw it at me as well. It grazed the side of my head and broke against the leg of the table. The plastic bag holding the car keys lay next to me and I tried to grab it before he saw it but it was too late. Pain radiated from my hand as he stomped on it so hard I had to let go of the keys. He kept kicking me harder and harder. Then he picked up the keys and then grabbed my face to look at him. “Where did you get the keys?” he asked. I had no choice but to tell the truth. “Mother left me a car to get away from you. She thinks you hurt me too much.” He got a panicked look on his face for a moment. “I’m so mad at you, that I need to calm down. I am going to leave for a bit and when I come back, I will punish you in such a way that you will never leave. He took my keys and slammed the door. He was angry and he would be even worse when he came back drunk and the mess would infuriate him. I looked around to survey the mess, but blood started dripping into my eyes. My hand hurt bad as well. I still needed to clean up the mess, so I crawled toward the flour mess and collapsed. ### “Bang, bang, bang!” came a sound from the door. I must have blacked out but the banging woke me. There was a pool of blood on the floor. I was still naked from my beating and surrounded by spilled flour and broken pottery. I got up and tried to get to the door. I knew that Peter would apologize and take me to the hospital soon and I was feeling pretty dizzy when I stood. I tried to open the door, but my hand hurt so bad. It looked purple and swollen. I tried the other hand. It was even worse. “Bang, bang, bang!” I couldn’t grip the doorknob. I heard yelling outside. “This is the police, we know you are in there?” The police were here? I had to hide. If they saw me like this then they might find out Peter had hit me and he would go to jail. I turned toward the kitchen to hide from them. Before I could find a hiding place, there was a crack as the wood splintered and two policemen entered the house. They saw the blood, the flour, the mess, and me. “Ma’am, are you all right?” the first cop said. “Just sit down.” I knew better than to disobey. The second cop ran out of the house. “What happened?” he asked. “I fell down the stairs,” I said. “That is bullshit,” he answered. I just looked at him. I did not dare argue either. The second cop returned with a first aid kit. He pulled out some gauze and tried to pull it toward my head. I put my arms up to shield myself, but he bypassed them and started soaking up the bleeding on my head. “She needs stitches,” he said. The first cop asked, “How did you get all the way back here? And where are your clothes.” I was confused. “From the kitchen? I crawled.” “How did you get all the way back here from the accident scene?” he asked. “Oh,” I said. I almost slipped with my story about falling down the stairs. “I crawled up the stairs and accidently knocked the flour over.” “That is bullshit. We just came from the scene of the accident. Your boyfriend is dead. Your car is totaled and you are covered in blood.” “What?” Peter was dead and my new car was totaled? “He didn’t take my little Ford Fiesta?” I heard sirens in the distance and shivered. I was very cold all the sudden. It started getting dark. Not dark. I had just passed out. ### I woke up in a soft bed in a very bright hospital room. I looked down at myself. I wore only a hospital gown. Both my hands felt very heavy and I lifted my arms up to see why. Both hands were wrapped in plaster. I put them down on the bed and looked around the room. There was a TV in the corner, but it was off. I lay in a bed with rails on the sides. Beside me was a table with a button on the corner that looked like a doorbell. The walls were all white. To my left was a huge window, but the drapes were shut. On the right were windows, but they led into a hall. It was bright out there too. A nurse walked in. It was Patricia. I recognized her from the last time I was in the hospital. That time was from a broken arm. “Good,” she said. “You are awake.” She took my blood pressure and then looked at the top of my head. My head felt cold. “You poor thing,” she said. “How bad is it this time?” I asked. I wondered if it was more than stitches and my hands. “You had big gashes in your head. The doctor had to give you a bit of a haircut before he could give you stitches. Your hands will take at least three months before we can get the casts off and then you will need some physical therapy.” “You cut my hair?” Peter loved my long hair and wouldn’t be happy if it were cut. She held a mirror for me. The doctor had completely shaved my head with clippers. An ugly black X from stitches crossed the top of my head. I looked hideous. I started to cry. “Don’t worry, baby,” the nurse said. “Your hair will grow back and cover the scar and no one will know.” “But Peter will be angry,” I wailed. “Peter died in the car wreck,” she said. “Don’t you remember? I say it serves him right. He was always beating you and then bringing you here.” “I fell down the stairs,” I said. “That’s mean of you to tell me Peter died and that he deserved it.” “Five times in the last year?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. I knew she didn’t believe me. None of the times in the hospital were from falling down the stairs. “Well, you better tell the cops the truth this time,” said Patricia. “They think you were in that car with your boyfriend and that you fled the scene of an accident. That is pretty serious.” I knew I was in big trouble. Chapter Two: Nowhere to Go Maybe I should have taken Patricia’s advice. I stuck to my story about falling down the stairs and now I was being charged with leaving the scene of an accident. Also, Peter managed to run into some poor pregnant lady and she lost her baby. Since Peter was dead, they couldn’t blame the person who was really responsible. Peter’s mother blamed me because Peter would have never got into my car and drove it to the bar if I hadn’t made him angry. I had felt guilty about that, but the councilors at the woman’s shelter where I moved into after I got out of the hospital convinced me that it was not my fault. My own mother was upset with me about letting Peter know about the car and she changed her mind about me moving back home. I also had court that day. I had to face the woman whose baby Peter killed and convince her that I was not responsible. Today was also my last day at the shelter. My abuser, Peter, was no longer a threat to me since he was dead. I couldn’t return home, and I couldn’t go back to Peter’s house. Peter’s mother had inherited the house and told me that I was not allowed near the place ever again. I couldn’t even get my clothes although it was only one pair of jeans, a few T-shirts, and lots of lingerie. I slid off the sweats I wore daily. There were the only things I could pull up and down so I could go to the bathroom. I looked down at the bed and the pantsuit I found in the professional interview closet they had at the shelter. My roommate Amy helped get me ready. I looked in the mirror. I looked terrible, but at least my hair was starting to grow. It was about an inch long and the scars were almost covered by my hair. Less than satisfied, I took the bus to court. ### There were two transfers from the woman’s shelter to the courthouse. I had to drag my duffle with everything I owned in it. By the time I got to the courthouse, I had just enough time to get to the bathroom and pee before court. I entered the first lady’s room and then I knew I was in trouble. I had to pee so bad and all I could do was stand in front of the toilet and cry. The zipper on the suit pants was on the side, so I couldn’t reach it with both hands when they were in the casts. My broken fingers were held immobile by the plaster and I knew I would wet my pants any second. I crossed my legs and started to cry. “What’s wrong?” a woman asked me. “I got to be in court in five minutes and I got to pee. I can’t get my pants undone.” “Would you like me to help you?” asked the woman. I crossed my legs tighter and rocked from side to side. “Please help me before I wet my pants.” She gently undid my pants and pulled down both my pants and my panties. I quickly sat down and started peeing almost as soon as I landed. A second later and I would have been walking into my court appearance with wet pants. I wondered how I would get my pants back up. I need not have worried. The lady was still outside the stall when I came out. “Um,” I said. “Sit back down,” she said. She took some toilet paper and helped me wipe. I had been going around with damp panties since I got out of the hospital because I couldn’t wipe very well with my broken hands. “Stand now,” she said. I did and she pulled up my panties and pants. “My name is Violet,” she said. “I know from experience that wet pants aren’t very much fun. When I was pregnant, I had to resort to diapers.” “Oh my goodness,” I said. “Was it that bad?” “It’s not that bad,” said Violet. She had sadness in her eyes. “Well, thank you,” I said. “I got to run and get to court.” ### Whoever said, ninety percent of success is being there never was in court. I was grilled cross examined and then yelled at by a judge and several lawyers. I was also told that I was worthless and deserved to go to jail. I was used to being told I was worthless though. Peter made that clear to me. Then Violet entered the courtroom and took the stand. What was she doing? “So can you tell us what happened?” “I was in my car driving on Beaumont Ave and this car came from nowhere and crossed the centerline and hit me. My airbag when out and then...,” she said and then paused. “It hit my abdomen and I lost...” She paused again. “...I lost my baby.” She started to cry. “No further questions,” said the prosecutor. My lawyer went to the stand and asked her the most intelligent question of his career. “How many people did you see in the car?” “I don’t know,” she said. “It was too dark.” “You didn’t see anyone get out of the car?” “No,” she said. “I have no more questions, ma’am. You may step down.” Finally it was my turn to speak. I got up and went to the stand. Violet made eye contact with me and gave me a dirty look. I was nervous up on the stand. I had to pee really bad all the sudden. I was about to pee myself, I was so scared. However, my lawyer just asked me to say what happened. I am happy to say that I told the truth. “...And I woke up and the cops were pounding on my door,” I said. “So you didn’t leave the accident?” “No, sir.” “You weren’t even at the accident?” “No sir,” “No further questions.” I started to get up. “I am going to cross examine you,” said the opposing lawyer. “We found your blood in the car. Do you care to explain that?” “He kicked me in the head before he left.” “Sure. So where did you get those injuries. You had head trama.” “The flour canister,” I said. “He threw a flour canister at me.” “That sounds pretty violent. Strange that your boyfriend didn’t have a record of battering women.” “Because it was my fault he hit me. I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and had to be punished. That’s why I couldn’t say anything. If I did he would go to jail and I would have no one.” “She knows the right words to say. Of course she did because she lived in a woman’s shelter the past few months,” said the prosecuter. “You may step down now,” he told me. I retreated back to the table and sat down.” That didn’t go as well as I planned. It went worse when the jury came back with a verdict. I was found guilty of leaving the scene of an accident. I sat there and cried. I couldn’t go to jail. I didn’t know what to do. “Relax,” said my lawyer. “You might only get probation and have to pay restitution.” I looked up at the judge. “Two years probation and twenty-five thousand in restitution to your victims,” he said. “You need to have a job, a play to live, and make progress on paying your restitution or else I will put you in jail for the full six years of your sentence.” I had nothing. No job or income and as of tonight I was homeless. I couldn’t pay the restitution no matter if it were twenty-five dollars or twenty-five million. I continued to cry and just left the courtroom. I had to pee really bad, but I had no one to help me with my zipper, so I just left to walk as far as I could. I didn’t make it far. The urge to pee got worse and worse. Everything seemed closed. I was going to have to find a place soon. I felt some dribble into my panties. It wouldn’t be long now. I tried to get into and ally and then I went for the zipper. No luck. I couldn’t get my plaster covered fingers to grip the zipper hard enough so it wouldn’t slip when I pulled it down. Suddenly I started peeing. It was broad daylight and I was peeing my pants in public. The gray material of my pants was getting darker around my crotch and now my inseams. I peed until I was empty. I was so embarrassed. However, I had to leave the ally to find a bathroom and change. I still had sweats in my duffle bag. I left the ally and started to walk. It was obvious that I peed my pants. A car stopped beside me. It was a blue Mercedes. The passenger side window came down and there was Violet, the lady whose baby Peter had killed with my car. “Do you need a ride?” she asked. “No,” I said. “You look like you had an accident,” she said. “I did,” I said. “Climb in the backseat and we will give you a ride,” said Violet. I had no choice. I got in and sat on a towel they had on the seat. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry the Peter hurt your family in the accident. I would do anything to make it up if I could.” “Anything?” asked Violet. “Well, yes,” she said. “Your lawyer said you had no income and can’t work for a few more months before the physical therapy can begin. We though you could make up what you own us by being a live-in maid for us.” “I guess,” I said. Chapter Three: A change in Living Arrangements Violet and her husband Jeff lived in a large house in a nice neighborhood. I blushed as I saw ever yard almost with people in it. How was I going to get in their house with my wet pants? I didn’t worry long. They pulled into the garage. Violet and Jeff got out and Violet opened my door. I stepped out as well. Their garage was beautiful as well. Jeff went in the house, but Violet stopped me. “Take off your wet shoes. I am going to get you undressed and then we can get you a bath. You are pretty smelly,” she said. Of course I was smelly. I couldn’t shower well. I couldn’t even wipe myself. I was disgusting. I slipped off my shoes and then she undressed my completely before taking me in the house. She not only threw away everything I had on, but she emptied the contents of my duffle bag in a trashcan in the garage. “Hey,” I protested. “Those disgusting sweats and grayed t-shirts and underclothes can go away. I will not have you dressed like a homeless person. She then pulled me by the hand into the bathroom. She sat me on the toilet and left me. I took advantage of the time by using the bathroom. I thought I had privacy until she came back with two bread bags. She put those on my arms so my casts wouldn’t get wet and then she started a bath for me. She set me in the water and I lay back. “Thank you for everything,” I said. “Well, you really need to be clean. I don’t think you can care for yourself adequately when you are so disheveled.” It was true. When I showered at the woman’s shelter, I could wash my body with bags over my hands. I couldn’t hold the soap well either. My hair suffered. Here, I just lay back in the bath and soaked. She let me lay in there for a while and then brought a washcloth and started scrubbing me as if I were a baby. It was pretty embarrassing. “Hey. What are you doing?” “I am cleaning you.” “You are treating me like a baby,” I said. She stood up and turned away. “Thanks to your boyfriend, I can’t treat my baby like a baby,” she said with a sob. “I’m sorry,” I said. She took me in. I should be grateful and not complain. “You may treat me like a baby if you want to.” “Really?” she said. “Do you mean it? I’d like that so much.” She finished soaping me. Then she rinsed me off. “Your hair is so short,” she said. “It’s almost is baby length.” “The doctor cut it for stitches,” I said. “I had beautiful long hair before.” I stopped. “Well before.” “It’s pretty and blonde,” she said. “I think my baby would have had blonde hair.” She lifted me into a standing position and helped me out of the tub. “Let’s get you dried off.” I let her dry me, then she left me standing there in the bathroom. She returned a short while later carrying something white and plastic. “Lie down on the floor so I can diaper you,” she said. “What?” I asked. “I’m not wearing diapers.” Sure I wet myself today, but that was an accident. She looked disappointed and I saw a tear running down her cheek. “But you said I could baby you. You also promised you would do whatever you could to make up for me losing my baby.” I sighed. I didn’t think she meant that. “Fine,” I said and lay down on the floor. My face felt hot as I lay down and submitted to a diaper change. As soon as it was over I stood up. She put a pink T-shirt on me and then led me down the hall. I thought I was going to bed, but I was wrong. She sat me on the couch next to her husband Jeff and left the room. “I’m going to make dinner now. Take care of our guest,” she said. I looked at her husband and he looked at me. He seemed as embarrassed as I was. My t-shirt was long enough to hide the diaper, but I had no pants. I was mortified. Jeff looked at me. “Are you wearing pants?” I shook my head. “Violet dumped all my clothes in the trash. She said they were disgusting.” “She’ll get something for you to wear tomorrow then,” he said. He covered me with a blanket from the back of the couch. “I bet you are cold.” I wasn’t but I took the blanket anyway and covered up. He was probably saving face. I was glad to have something to cover me if the t-shirt rode up. ### After the ten o’clock news, Violet took me up to my new bedroom. We had eaten in front of the TV before hand and I was tired from my long day. I stood up and we went upstairs together. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I announced. “Is your diaper wet?” she asked. She reached under my t-shirt to check. “No,” I said as I jumped away. “It will be soon if I don’t get to a bathroom.” “You said you’d be my baby,” she said. “Babies wet their diapers. They don’t announce that they have to use the bathroom.” “But...,” I said. “You promised to let me take care of you,” she said. “If it weren’t for your boyfriend wrecking your car, I would have a baby I could change.” I crossed my legs and gave her a pleading look. “I’m going to put you to bed when I take you to your room. When I do so, I am going to check your diaper. If it is wet, then I will change you. If not, then I guess you can wait until morning.” I was stubborn and held it. She took me to the room she picked out for me. It was a baby’s nursery complete with changing table, crib, and mobile. She put down the rail of the crib. Climb in,” she said. “It’s a baby crib,” I protested. “I’m too big.” “Nonsense,” she said. “You at most weigh 115 pounds. Get in.” I climbed in and she pulled the rail up. “There is no pillow and blanket in here,” I complained. “I’ll get them for you. Don’t leave the crib.” I lay back and stared at the mobile. This was ridicules. How did I get myself in this situation? She returned with an adult sized pillow and blanket. I curled up with them. “Are you sure you don’t want to wet your diaper before bedtime? I will change you and you can get a good night’s sleep.” “I’m not going to wet a diaper for you,” I said. “Would you like a nightlight?” she asked. “No,” I said. She left. I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. After an hour, I woke up with an urgent need to pee. I tried to pull down the rail, but my casts prevented it. Instead, I slowly wet my diaper. It felt very warm and it tickled against my skin. It almost felt pleasant, but I would never admit that. I struggled to get to sleep and didn’t wake up until the sun streamed through my windows. Chapter Four: Going Out Dressed Like This I woke up, lying in a puddle. I was soaking wet and my diaper had leaked. I sighed and then tried to sit up. Since it was light, I could see how the mechanism on the rail of the crib worked. However, I couldn’t get my fingers around the latch. “Damn casts,” I muttered. I looked around. There was a clock on the wall over the door. “Eight-thirty.” I hoped the clock was right. “Violet,” I called. Nothing. I did hear some stirring in the next room, but it didn’t sound like they were coming into my bedroom or rather nursery. I looked down at the diaper. It swelled to become three times as thick and the white looked yellowish and grainy. The blue stripes were missing except for at the top of my waist. My t-shirt was wet around the bottom and up my back. I was uncomfortable. “Violet,” I called again. “I am uncomfortable.” Violet entered the room from the other room. She was only wearing a robe. “You don’t have to yell. I can hear you over the baby monitor. Besides, babies yell out mommy or cry.” “I am not calling you mommy,” I said. “Then you can sit in the wet diaper until I decide to come in on my own or you can cry.” She turned and left. I sat there, but I was stubborn. I wasn’t going to call that woman mommy. After sitting in the wet diaper for about twenty minutes, I noticed how cold and clammy it was. I finally gave in and started to cry like a baby. “Wah, wah,” I said into the baby monitor. “Wah, wah.” Violet entered the room again. This time she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She smiled. “Wah, wah,” I said. “That cry doesn’t sound too convincing.” “This is the best you are going to get,” I said. “Well, it’s a start.” She lowered the crib rail and helped me out. “It looks like you need some clothes, Baby Beth.” She looked into the crib and saw the wet spot. “And better diapers. Never fear about that. I found a medical supply store on Google. We can go there after your bath.” Oh great. I was going to get better diapers, so this meant I was stuck with them. I needed a bath, so I didn’t argue. Followed her to the bathroom and stood there and let her do what she wanted to me. She first put the bread bags on my casts and pulled off my diaper and t-shirt. Then she sat me down in the tub. “So how long are you going to treat me like a baby?” I asked. “As long as you are staying with us,” she said, “unless you want to work as a maid and keep the house spotless? Until those casts come off though, you will not make an effective maid and I will let your probation officer know how badly you work. So which is it: be my baby or my maid?” I didn’t relish the idea of wearing diapers and sleeping in a crib, but I liked the idea less of cleaning the house. When I lived with Peter, I was effectively a maid and I got beaten a lot. I would hate that. At least as a baby, I wasn’t beaten. “I’ll be your baby, then,” I said. She started to scrub me and then stopped. “I almost forgot,” she said. She turned and opened that bathroom cabinet and pulled out a rubber duck and a toy boat. “I have bath toys.” She put them in the water and started scrubbing me. I ignored the toys and concentrated on where she was rubbing me with the wash cloth. “Play with the toys,” she said. I waved my bread bag covered hands at her. “I can’t really hold onto things.” She gave me her disappointed look, so I added. “Much like a real baby, I can’t hold stuff.” That seemed to satisfy her. “Well, thanks for accepting this. I know I originally wanted you as a maid because I haven’t been able to keep up the house since the accident. I just lay in bed all day since I was so depressed. Treating you like a baby is better than having a maid. I have to get out of bed to care for you and a maid would just let me sleep in and clean rooms I would never look at.” She rubbed shampoo in my short, fuzzy hair and then rinsed it out by pouring water on my head from a Tupperware pitcher. I remember my mother did that when I was little. “I will try to be your baby then. It is the least I can do.” I didn’t mind wetting the diaper that much. I was being a brat last night, but I was embarrassed. She drained the tub and told me to stand up. I did and she dried me off and then brushed my hair. “I wish your hair was longer. I would put pigtails in it,” she said. “No way,” I said. “I am not wearing pig tails.” “Well lie down, so I can get your diaper on you.” I lay down on the floor. I felt stupid as she diapered me. She had me lift up my butt and she slid the clean diaper under me. Then I felt something cold and slimy against my butt. I sat up and batted at her with my right arm. “What was that?” I asked. She held up a plastic jar for me to read. “It’s Desitin. It’s for diaper rash. Going to bed with a full bladder was not a good idea and you are starting to get a bit red.” She pushed me back down. “Now let me finish diapering you.” She rubbed the slimy cream on my butt and then sprinkled powder on me before taping me in my diaper. I smelled like a baby. She pulled me to my feet. “You don’t have your own clothes, so you will have to wear mine today,” she said. She took me by the arm into her bedroom. I had never seen it before. There was a queen-sized bed with throw pillows and shams all over it like you would see in a catalogue for bedding. There was a large dresser with a mirror and a chest of drawers. There were also two large walk-in closets. She first opened the dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. It was red with pink hearts on it. It was also a short baby doll shirt. “Lift your arms.” I did and she pulled the shirt on me. “There you go,” she said as she pulled in on. The shirt barely covered the top of my diaper. I sighed. At least no one would see my diaper in the house except her. By the time I looked up again, she had a pair of blue jeans. With her help I stepped into them. She was a larger size than I, but the diaper made me need that much room. I spun around in front of the mirror and couldn’t see the diaper, but there was an obvious bulge. I was not happy about that. The shirt came an inch or two below the waist of the jeans. At least I had that working for me. There was something missing though. “Shouldn’t I wear a bra?” I asked. “You don’t need a bra,” she said. I looked down at my chest and sighed. The shirt was fitted, so I could see the shape of my breasts in the mirror, but they weren’t really ample. I sighed. With a bra, I looked like I had bigger breasts. “Sit down and I will find you some shoes,” she said. I sat down on a cedar chest at the end of the bed and sighed. At least I was getting shoes. I wondered what happened to the Goodwill shoes from my duffle bag or even the scuffed dress shoes I wore to court. I bet they were both thrown away with my other clothes. She returned with some sneakers. “I noticed you were size six,” she said. “I wore these once and then I got pregnant and my feet swelled to a size eight.” She put some blue socks on me and then pulled on the pink sneakers one by one and tied them. “Walk around then.” I stood up and took a few steps. “They fit great. Thank you.” “Well, don’t thank me yet. We need to go to the store to get you suitable clothes. You can’t wear my clothes all the time.” I looked down at my crotch. The bulge was staring back at me. “Um,” I said. “Can you please get me baggy pants at the store?” “You can come with me shopping to get them,” she said. “But everyone will see I am diapered,” I said. “So what? Babies don’t worry about someone seeing them diapered.” “But people expect to see a diaper on a baby, not a twenty-two year old woman,” I said. “No one will notice anyway,” she said. “No one said anything when I wore diapers when I was pregnant. If someone says anything, we’ll just give them a cover story.” She picked up a bag and put it on my shoulder and took me by the arm toward the garage. “What’s with the big bag?” I asked. “It’s your diaper bag in case you need a change while we are out.” “But,” I started. She wouldn’t listen to me. I prepared for an embarrassing day as we went to the garage and put me in the passenger seat of her Volvo. ### She didn’t drive directly to the mall. Instead she drove out by the hospitals which were across the freeway from the courthouse. She pulled into the parking lot of a small store and came around to let me out of the car. The place said Sander’s Medical Supply. “What are we getting here?” I asked. “It would be in your best interest to remain quiet when we are in here and let me do all the talking.” She opened the door and we went in. Inside there were rows of wheel chairs, oxygen tanks, hospital beds, and angry rows of shelves that went into the dark recesses of the store. One section said catheters. I knew what those were from the hospital. I shivered. I never wanted to experience a catheter again. “May I help you ladies?” an older woman asked. She wore light blue smocks. She smiled at Violet. “Yes,” Violet said. “I need some adult diapers for my niece here.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “We’ve been using Depends and they don’t hold up to her wettings well.” I wanted to disappear into the floor. I wished it would have swallowed me up so I would be here to face the embarrassment. “Carlos,” the older woman called. A handsome man appeared. He looked like he was about twenty-four. He was strong and handsome and his biceps seemed barely contained by the sleeves of his smock. I was in love. I forgot about being in diapers I wanted him to hold me in his arms. He looked almost like Brad Pitt and... Violet rubbed a Kleenex across my mouth. “You are drooling again Beth.” I was mortified. Carlos smiled at me. “How are you doing?” Violet turned toward Carlos. “She was in a car accident a few months ago and suffered a head injury.” She parted my hair and showed them the scar from my stitches. “She suffered some brain damage and we need adult diapers for her.” His smile disappeared. I purposely let out some more drool, but I was upset. He looked like he was interested in me until he heard I was brain damaged and needed diapers. I knew why Violet lied to him. It would be silly to tell them I agreed to be her baby to make up for the real baby she lost when my boyfriend stole my car. The old lady took a measuring tape and put it around my hips. I backed up and clung to Violet’s arm like a scared toddler. “It’s all right,” said Violet. “She is just going to measure you.” I let myself be measured, but I hated what I was being measured for. As soon as she had a number she turned to Carlos. “Please bring two cases of medium-sized Tranquility ATN Briefs.” He disappeared. I wanted to ask her what ATN stood for, but that would blow my cover as a retard. I clung to Violet instead. “She is actually between small and medium, but I find that the larger size absorbs a bit more,” the lady said. “We do have individual diapers if you want to change her into one now and see how it fits.” “That sound like a good idea,” said Violet. The woman reached under the counter and handed her a diaper that looked huge next to the Depends I had on. “Let’s get you changed, Beth,” she said. I was embarrassed enough and now she was going to change me in front of all these people. I got on the floor and closed my eyes. To my surprise, Violet pulled me to my feet. “Not here, Beth. I am sure this nice lady has somewhere private we can change.” She turned toward the lady again. “We change her on the floor at home, so I guess that is why she did that.” “I understand,” said the lady. “You can go to the bathroom through there.” She pointed to a hall. “There are adult sized changing tables in there.” I felt relieved. Carlos came down the stairs from the upper tiers of shelves carrying the two cases of diapers. Violet pulled me down the hall to the bathroom. It was a normal bathroom, but there was a counter in one corner with padding like someone laid a mat like kindergarteners used for naps. I laid on the mat and Violet started undoing my pants and then she took my diaper off. I had to pee a bit and felt like letting go like a real baby would, but I decided not to. She had tried to minimize my embarrassment in what was supposed to be an embarrassing transaction. She pulled the new diaper on me and taped it up. “There are only four tapes,” I said. “That other diaper had six.” “It’s a different brand,” she said. She taped the diaper in place and tried to pull my pants up. “Well it fits you. Stand up so I can get your pants pulled up.” I stood and she tugged the pants up. This diaper was much thicker and she had trouble getting my zipper up and my pants buttoned. The bulge was a lot bigger. “I can’t go out like this,” I complained. “Can you get one of the spares from my diaper bag and change me into that?” Violet shook her head. “We are shopping for clothes for you next. I only have the two Depends in your diaper bag left. You need clothes that fit over these diapers so you got to wear these.” It made sense, but I was still going to be embarrassed. “Fine, but you need to change me into the new pants as soon as we buy the first outfit.” “It’s a deal. Now no talking or they will know you are not really incontinent.” She led me back out into the showroom. “It fits her fine. It’s a little snug under her clothes, but at least she will keep her pants dry.” Carlos gave me a weird look at my puffy crotch. I looked like I had a diaper on. How did I get into this? I still stared at him as Violet and the lady concluded their transaction. I pretended to be fascinated by his watch and grabbed at it so I could touch his hand. He frowned and then held me by the shoulders until Violet finished paying. “What did the doctor’s say about the brain damage?” he asked. “She’s just has the mind of a three year old,” said Violet. She took me by the upper arm. “We are hoping that she heals. The brain does rewire around damage, but the doctor said that might take years. She just needs a home right now and that is what I am trying to provide her. Her father is in prison and her mother died, so she just has me.” “At least you are hopeful,” Carlos said. He leaned down and picked up the two cases of diapers and followed them to Violet’s Volvo. He put them both in the back and went back inside. Violet helped me into the passenger seat and then got into the car. “What was that about you grabbing at the young man’s wrist?” “You wanted me to act like a baby. I acted like a baby,” I said. “You liked him,” she said. “Duh,” I said. “However, I can’t ever date him because he thinks that I am retarded.” “Not retarded. You are brain damaged from an accident.” I shrugged. It’s not that it made much of a difference. I wasn’t going to be dating anyone soon. I still was healing from the injuries my last boyfriend gave me. She drove me to the mall parking lot. The lot was packed with cars and I just knew that inside it would be equally busy. She came around to the other side of the car and opened the door for me. Then she went to the back of the car and opened one of the cases of diapers and put two in my diaper bag. She stuffed the two Depends in the case with the new diapers. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go shopping.” I looked at my reflection in the car window and noticed how puffy my butt was. “Please, don’t make me go in dressed like this.” She looked at me with a stern look. “I thought we had a deal. Besides, don’t you want something to wear that will cover your diapers?” I frowned. I didn’t want to go in. I used to shop at this mall back when I was in college. I hadn’t been there in the three years I lived with Peter. I couldn’t shop when I was his kept woman. Perhaps I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. I shrugged and then let her take me by the arm above my cast and guide me into the mall. It sure was crowded and I was nervous about anyone noticing that the big bulge inside my pants was a thick diaper. I was starting to need to pee as well. I hadn’t peed yet when I woke up since I was used to holding it until I got to a toilet. That part of my life was skipped over in the rush to go shopping and I hadn’t thought of peeing. I was in the mall and had to pee and I knew the toilets were on the far side of the mall. “We need to head to the restrooms,” I whispered. “I need to pee.” “You are wearing your bathroom,” she said. “Babies don’t say they have to pee. They just pee. That’s why you are wearing a diaper.” I sighed. “I’ll try to hold it until we get home.” “Suit yourself,” she said. We walked into the first store and she picked out some clothes for me. She held up various items to me and smiled. “This looks good,” she said. “I can’t button that with these casts on,” I said. “Nonsense,” she said. “I will help you.” I had to pee more. I tried crossing my legs, but the diapers I wore were too thick and I couldn’t close my legs enough to do any good. I tried to pretend I was anywhere, but where I was. “Can I help you ladies?” the sales person asked. “Yes,” said Violet. “My niece here needs to try on some things. She broke her arms, so can I please accompany her into the fitting rooms to help her?” “Well, we normally just want one at a time in the fitting rooms due to shoplifters, but I guess it will be okay since she can’t try on things herself.” The sales girl turned to me. “I bet that sucks. I broke my legs in June and had to be in a wheel chair for a month. I could still write and do schoolwork though.” I didn’t answer. I was paying more attention to keeping my pants dry. However, Violet spoke for me. “She doesn’t talk.” I felt some wetness leak from my vagina. I was going to wet myself. I held on tight. If I walked or took a step, I was going to have an accident. “Right this way to the fitting room,” said the sales girl. I just stood there trying not to pee. Violet pulled me to follow and I stumbled a step and a big wet squirt came out. If I wasn’t wearing a diaper, there would have been a wet spot. “Come on,” she said and pulled me again. I gasped and then the flood gates opened and I peed myself. I just looked down at myself. The pee wouldn’t stop until my bladder was empty no matter how hard I tried to clamp down. Finally, I was in a warm, wet diaper and managed to follow Violet to the fitting room. As soon as the door was closed, she undid my pants and pulled them down. She put her hand in my diaper. “You wet, didn’t you?” I didn’t say anything. I did push my diaper bag at her. “No, you’re not wet enough for a change. Now lift up your arms and we’ll try these shirts.” I lifted my arms and let her try on about twelve shirts on me. Then she took off my shoes and had me try on the pants and skirts she picked out. She picked up some light blue plaid overalls and held them open near the floor. “Step in,” she said. “I don’t like those,” I said. “I do,” she said. “They will make you look so cute.” I shrugged. “It’s just not my style,” I said. She gave me that look: the look that said I was disappointing her. Still, I couldn’t cave that easily. “Doesn’t my opinion count?” I asked. “Beth,” she said, “a baby can’t complain about what clothes she wears. Did you always complain about your clothing?” I thought about it. The overalls did look stupid and I would be embarrassed to wear them in public, but I didn’t try to kid myself that they weren’t an improvement over silk negligees. I could wear these in public. Sure Violet controlled my life as much as Peter did, but at least she never beat me. I stepped into the overalls and she pulled them up. “Now if only you had enough hair for pigtails you would be adorable,” she said and brushed the fuzziness on the side of my head. I tried not to wince. “You are tugging my stitches,” I complained. “Oh, sorry,” she said. She turned me toward the mirror and I looked at myself. The outfit made me look younger. The small boobs I had disappeared behind the bib of the overalls and the outfit did nothing to accentuate the curvature of my hips. My hair also looked like a baby’s. It was too short. Only the trim of the shirt suggested I was a girl. “Now you do look cute,” she said. “We do got to do something about that hair though. We’ll go to Claire’s next.” I groaned. In high school all my friends went to Claire’s. I was always bored. If I wanted something feminine, I went to Hot Topic and got retro cartoon stuff, not earrings and hair doodads. Peter cured me of my grunge look, but I didn’t count on the pole dancing look until he already isolated me at home. She dressed me in what I was wearing before and I looked down to make sure the diaper was hidden. It was, but the bulge felt huge. It expanded when I peed myself. I looked down expecting it to be huge. It wouldn’t be noticeable unless someone walked the mall looking at the butts of every woman to check for evidence of diapers. I didn’t think anyone would do that. We left the dressing room and Violet put everything on the counter. “All of it?” the sales girl asked. She started to ring up the purchases. “My commission’s going to be great thanks to you guys. If there is anything else you need just ask for Elsie. I will come in on my day off to help you.” I smiled at her. She sounded nice. I couldn’t thank her without blowing my cover, but Violet did thank her. After we paid for the purchases, we left the store. “Where to next?” I asked. I tried to walk slowly to avoid having my shirt ride up or something embarrassing, but she was guiding me quickly by my arm. “Claire’s,” she said. We went inside and it was packed with teen girls. I sighed. That was another reason I hated the place. I was an adult, not a teenager. I looked down at the bulge of my diaper. I felt like a toddler, but teenagers still annoyed me. As soon as we walked in, a sales clerk bypassed all the teenagers, who were probably not going to buy anything. “Can I help you ladies?” “Yes,” said Violet. “I need some headbands for my niece. She had surgery and they had to cut her hair.” “Oh, I am sorry. I hope you get better,” she said to me. I forgot and nodded. “Thank you.” Violet glared at me, but shrugged. “Our headbands are right here.” She guided us to a rack in one corner of the store and then went back to keep an eye on the teenagers. “I thought you weren’t talking,” Violet scolded me. “I forgot.” I reached for a head band. It was a black elastic headband with a black rose made out of the same material. “I like this one,” I said. She took it and several others that she liked and we went to check out. I was sure glad to be out of there. When we got out of the store, I asked her to put one of the headbands on me. I missed having long hair and the bit of fuzz on my head depressed me. I thought it made me look like a boy. She didn’t pick my black one that I liked. She picked a red one with a pink heart on it. It matched my shirt, but still, I hated it. The black one was feminine, but much more subdued. Next we went to the food court. “Where shall we eat?” asked Violet. I looked around. There was a Sbarro’s pizza, a Subway, a Coldstone Creamery, a Chick-Fil-A, and even a Burger King, and a Carl’s Jr. I hadn’t eaten out in a long time. Once I moved in with Peter, he never took me out and I could only afford the food at the woman’s shelter cafeteria, so never could eat out then. “Coldstone?” I asked. “It’s eleven-thirty in the morning and you need real food, not dessert.” I looked around. The pizza looked inviting, but I didn’t want that. I never did like Subway since I had saved up my stamps for a new sandwich and they suddenly stopped accepting stamps. That made me mad. At the Carl Jr. there was a sign for a monstrous burger with jalapenos and a third pound patty. I pointed and said, “I want that.” “Are you sure you don’t want a kid’s meal from Burger King?” she asked. “I’m sure. I want the Six Dollar Burger with jalapenos.” I knew what I wanted. I hadn’t had a good restaurant meal in three years. I wanted something good. I didn’t think about the fact that it would end up in my diaper and that I would regret everyone of those jalapenos. “Okay,” she said. She ordered and we sat down. Then I had another problem. I had casts on my arms and couldn’t hang onto stuff really well. I sat and stared at the yummy burger sitting in front of me, the curly fries, again too spicy to eat before you sit in the resulting messy diaper. However I am getting ahead of myself here. I couldn’t lift the burger to my mouth. “May I have some help?” I asked. She sat across from me and she had the same thing. She giggled at me and then continued to eat her sandwich. I had to rely on my thumb and forefinger on my left hand to pick up one curly fry at a time. Between each bite of fry I ate, I stared hungrily at my burger until Violet finished hers. As soon as she was done, she picked up my burger and held it for me. I took a grateful bite and then savored the wonderful feeling of the food. I felt the spice of jalapenos and I knew I was in heaven. She fed me bite after bite until the sandwich was done and the burning in my mouth increased. Of course, I didn’t look as wonderful as I felt. The sandwich is too big for my mouth and even though Violet held the sandwich still, I got a lot of the special sauce on my mouth. Violet smiled and then she did something embarrassing. She took my diaper bag and pulled out a container of wipes, and then proceeded to clean my face and hands. I was humiliated. I looked around to see if anyone noticed the diaper peaking out of the duffle bag, but no one did. They did notice me getting my face cleaned like a toddler though. A guy across the dining room snickered. I wanted to sink into the floor. I also needed to pee. The thirty-two ounces of Dr. Pepper really hit me hard. I knew Violet would never take me to the bathroom no matter how I argued and I did feel a bit uncomfortable, so I relaxed and peed. When I start peeing, I can’t stop until I am empty. My mother used to tell me that is unhealthy, but I really never let it bother me. However I tried to stop as soon as I felt wetness at the leg bands of my diaper. “Violet,” I whispered, “you got to take me to the bathroom now.” “Use your diaper,” she whispered back. “I just did and there will be a wet spot on my pants real quick if you don’t take me to the bathroom and change me right now.” I was in full panic. I was going to be humiliated. “Relax,” she said. “If you haven’t leaked yet, you won’t until you wet again. I’ll change you after dinner.” I still worried, but I nibbled on each of my remaining curly fries while I waited for Violet to eat her fries. After eating we left the food court and went to the bathroom. There were just a few people in the bathroom and I eyed the changing table with embarrassment. I knew I was going to get changed. I pulled it down and looked at it. “I don’t think it will hold you,” she said. I looked down at the floor. It was disgusting. “I am not lying on the floor.” “It won’t come to that.” She took me by the hand into the handicapped stall and closed the door. She then pulled my pants down. Sure enough, there were too little wet circles at the inseams of the diaper where it had leaked a few drops. She twisted the fabric to examine the outside. It still looked dry, so it hadn’t soaked through the material. My diaper was swollen and yellowed beyond belief. She quickly undid the tapes and wadded up the diaper and used the tapes to tape it shut. She put it on the floor and got out some wipes. Then she cleaned me. Then the Desitin went on. I still felt clammy when she took out the clean diaper and put it behind me. Then she gently pushed me against the partition so the diaper was held behind me. She took the front of the diaper and pulled it between my legs and then taped it in place. It wasn’t as tight as the changes when lying down, but I had a ring around each leg from the diaper elastic anyway. It could be looser without a problem. Soon my pants were back up, my shirt was down and I was as good as new. “I got to pee too,” said Violet. She sat down on the toilet and went. I was so jealous. Why did she get to use the toilet? I was an adult too. After that, we grabbed our stuff and went back to her house. The outing was embarrassing, but Violet did not intentionally try to humiliate me. CHapter Five: No, I’m Not Doing This in Public The evening passed by uneventfully. During dinner, Violet sat me in the couch in front of the TV and she and Jeff ate without me. When dinner was finished, Jeff came out to watch TV and Violet led me by the hand into the kitchen. “Time for your dinner,” she said and sat me down at the table. I looked around the kitchen for the steaks I smelled earlier, but I couldn’t see them. I only saw the juices on the dirty plates they had eaten their medium rare steaks upon. Instead she went to the cupboard and brought out two small jars. “What’s that?” I asked. “What happened to all that delicious steak I smelled?” “The steaks were good, but you are now my baby. I have special food for you.” She set the jars down in front of me and I groaned when I saw they were baby food. “Mashed peas and mashed green beans?” I asked. “You expect me to eat that?” I wasn’t going to eat it no matter what she did. “I am an adult and need real food.” She continued to open the jar of peas and then took a spoonful of the nasty green paste and pushed to at my mouth. I wanted to gag just from the smell of it. I turned my head to avoid it, and Violet gave me her look again. It was that cross between disappointed and anger. I still was unmoved. She caught me by the chin. “The least you can do is play along. I gave you an adult meal at lunch and I did spend quite a bit of money buying you new clothes. You also told me that you would let me treat you like a baby.” I didn’t mean to live on baby food. I never even meant to let it progress beyond her bathing me and helping me in the bathroom. “But, I--,” I started to say. I was interrupted by a spoonful of the peas entering my mouth. Talk about bland. Baby food is really disgusting. I am used to food that has salt to bring the flavor out. Even so, I never could bring myself to eat peas. Even whole peas disgusted me. These were mashed peas. I swallowed. “You could have at least got fruit or something.” Another spoon full entered my mouth. I got smart and closed my mouth, but the next spoonful kept coming. “Come on and open the tunnel so the train can come in.” I shook my head, but the spoon came anyway and splattered on my face. “You are a messy baby,” she said and continued to feed me. By the time both jars of baby food were empty, I was a yucky mess. I felt horrible. She kept tricking me into talking and then fed me as soon as I opened my mouth. I didn’t feel full, but I was just glad it was over by the time she cleaned my face and set me back in the living room by the TV so she could do the dishes. I sat by Jeff as he watched a crime show. He looked at me a few minutes and then asked me a question. “Beth, are you wearing adult diapers?” I felt my face flush with embarrassment and reached toward the back of my shirt. It had ridden up, revealing the top of my diaper. “Don’t worry. I am sure you will be back to normal as soon as you get those casts off.” I had to tell him how she was treating me. He would put a stop to it no doubt. “Um Jeff,” I started. “Thank you for coming to live with us,” he said. “Oh, yes. Thank you for taking care of me,” I said. I couldn’t complain to Jeff now. He was being so nice to me. When the dishes were done, Violet took me upstairs to my bedroom. This time I peed my diaper so I wouldn’t leak in my crib. I had a slight cramp like I needed to poop, but I was not about to stand there and poop myself. She laid me on the floor and changed my wet diaper. I lay in bed in a dry diaper and cuddled with my adult sized pillow and blanket. ### The next morning I woke up and immediately peed my diaper. I still had to poop and it was a bit more urgent then it had been last night, but there was no way I was going to let poop out into my diaper and feel it smear against my skin. I was going to hold out for a toilet. I laid back in my wet diaper and waited for Violet to get me. She did after awhile. “We got a busy day ahead of us,” she said. I sat up in the crib. “Where are we going?” I asked. “We are going to a party.” She pulled down the gate to the crib and then reached for my diaper. She put a finger inside the leg. “Oh my, you are wet. We’ll get you a bath and into a clean diaper.” I gave a shrug and let her help me to the bathroom. As soon as I was in the bath, I would wait until she left the room and then I would have a quick poop. She undressed me and ran the bath for me. I got in and reveled in the warm water. I was very clean except for under the bread bags I wore on my arms. I hated broken bones. She still scrubbed me and I really didn’t mind since I couldn’t really clean myself. I wanted to reach a certain part of my body on my own. Since I was fifteen I masturbated in the shower and I not only couldn’t do that for myself, but I really didn’t want Violet to do that for me. I had just a one more week with the casts and then I could start physical therapy to regain movement. I really looked forward to moving my hands again and not just for masturbation. I could control myself. I just wanted to be able to touch things. I heard a little tune and Violet quickly dried her hands and answered her cell phone. She quickly left the bathroom. It was now my chance. I got up and went to the toilet and tried to lift the lid. It was stuck. I examined the lid and there was a little white plastic thing on the front that said LidLok. It was a baby cover for the toilet seat. I groaned and then studied it so I could figure out how to undo it. I couldn’t even get a hold on the thing with the slippery wet bread bags on my hand and the casts underneath. I sighed and got back in the tub and just in time too because soon afterward, Violet returned. She frowned when she saw the wet floor and gave me a stern look. “Sorry,” I said. “I splashed.” I was not about to admit that I tried to use the toilet. I knew that she would either cry and make me feel guilty or tell me I was ungrateful and make me feel guilty. I was going to hold it and use the downstairs bathroom or sneak into the master bedroom and use the toilet in there. I was sure that Jeff didn’t know about the LidLok, so I guess the upstairs hall bathroom was the only one that was so encumbered. She dried me off and had me lie down on the floor. I had a new diaper on me. It was a diaper that I knew would be full of poop if I didn’t get to the bathroom sometime that day. I could hold it, I knew. I thought the bathrooms were really gross in high school and even college, so I never pooped at school. I also hovered to pee, so although my bladder control was never good enough to put off peeing for more than an hour or two, I could hold it when I had to poop I had held it until I was in my home bathroom and then I would poop. I would do the same here even though I would not be able to get to a familiar bathroom. Violet diapered me and then led me back to my bedroom and opened the drawers. She pulled out a dark blue t-shirt and the light blue plaid overalls she bought the day before and dressed me. “Not the overalls, please,” I said. “You are my baby and I can dress you how I like,” she said. I groaned again. “I guess I have no choice then,” I said. At least it was less embarrassing then having to wear only underwear for two years. Peter did that just to control me. A woman couldn’t get too far when they were only wearing negligees. I could probably make it for quite a while in my current outfit without being exposed as someone playing baby. “I also don’t want to hear any complaints about what I feed you or that you have to go to the bathroom. I will check you periodically. Even if you feel you are about to leak. I will pack some extra clothes in your diaper bag.” I sighed. “Is that clear?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. I watched as she started to pack my diaper bag. She put in three diapers, another equally childish outfit, a towel to lay me on for a change and the ointments and powders she smeared on my butt when I was changed. She took me down to the living room and put the diaper bag down on the couch. “The place we are going is about half an hour away. I better use the restroom before we go,” she said. She left me and I stood there and glowered. She was gone about ten minutes and I knew she hadn’t just been peeing due to the time she was away. I wished I could sneak away to use the toilet, but I just stood there and waited. She returned and we rushed to the car. I got belted in and then she began to drive. ### We arrived at a house. There were quite a few cars lined up and down the block, so there must have been a special event. When we arrived at the door, a lady answered. “Oh, Violet, it is wonderful to see you.” Another lady smiled. “Where have you been? We missed you so much.” A third lady shushed the second one. “Oh it’s okay,” said Violet. She smiled. “I was having problems for a while, but I am fine now.” She motioned me to follow her into the house. “Who is your friend?” asked the first lady. “Oh this is my niece.” She looked at me. “Can you tell these ladies your name?” Her voice actually lifted as if she was talking to a three year old. I just turned and buried my face in her arm. “She’s not talking,” said Violet. “Her name is Beth and she is staying with Jeff and I. We are taking care of her after an accident. She fell from the balcony at her sorority house and banged her head up pretty bad.” “Ouch. That must have hurt,” said the second lady. “Beth, will you want tea or water?” asked the host. I released my grip from Violet, but I still was silent. “The doctor thinks she has brain damage,” said Violet. “I’m sorry to impose by bringing her, but I really have to watch her because she needs taken care of.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” said a third woman. She then led us to the living room. All the couches were taken. Violet sat in an easy chair and I sat on the floor in front of her. My stomach rumbled. I wanted to beg Violet for the bathroom, but I never got a chance. There were way too many ladies and they all would hear me talk if I asked for the bathroom. If I talked and then Violet mentioned my diapers, then they wouldn’t believe I was retarded enough to need them. They started talking about boring stuff like committees and fundraising and I was terribly bored. I looked up at the grandfather clock, but the hand never seemed to move. I finally looked at the pendulum. The clock just didn’t feel like it was stopped. It actually was. I could see why. The weights were all the way at the bottom of the clock. Growing up, my chore was to wind the clocks at my parent’s house, so I knew what I was doing. I crawled the few steps away to the clock and opened the door. When I almost had my hands around the chain to lift the weight, I felt a hand grab me from behind. “Don’t touch,” said Violet with a stern voice. I looked at her in protest, but she just pulled me back to my spot in front of her chair. “I’m sorry April. She gets into stuff all the time now. It’s almost as if she’s three. It’s really sad because she was a very bright college student.” “It’s okay,” said the lady who answered the door. “She’s probably bored with our conversation. Let’s all adjourn for coffee and cake,” she said. Everyone went into the kitchen. There were various mugs. Each one had a different saying and none of them matched. An older lady filled them with coffee from a coffee pot. I looked around and saw Violet get up and go down the hall. “Would you like some coffee, dear?” I smiled and she slid it across the table too me. I saw a box of sugar cubes on the table as well and grabbed one between my one finger and thumb on my left hand that I could still pick things up with. I dropped the cube into the coffee and then picked up the mug between my two cast-encased hands. I took a sip of the best coffee I had tasted since college. I really missed coffee. It was hot and yummy, although it was a bit bitter because the sugar cube hadn’t melted yet, but I was happy to have it anyway. The other ladies smiled at me. One of them looked at my stitches on the top of my head and winced. “Poor dear,” the lady beside me at the counter said, “that had to hurt.” I gave my same dumb smile and took another sip. Then Violet came out of the hallway and saw what I was doing. “Beth, why are you drinking that? You’ll burn yourself. Besides, you can’t pick up stuff too well until your casts come off.” She picked up my coffee cup and put it out of my reach. “Besides, you don’t want to spill on Mrs. Luther’s floor.” The woman I now learned was April Luther smiled. “Is there something else we can give her to drink?” The older lady who gave me the coffee said, “I’m sorry Violet. She seemed to enjoy the coffee and I didn’t think anything of it.” “It’s okay, Mabel,” Violet said to the older lady. “I have to keep her out of everything at home. She hasn’t been right since she hit her head.” She turned to April. “You can give her milk or water.” I ended up with a cup of milk. It was only half full. When we went back to the living room, Violet held it for me and just held it to my mouth when she thought I wanted a sip. After another half hour of committee talk and fundraising planning, my stomach started to cramp hard. I knew I had to go to the bathroom soon. I did not know what to do. My intestines were making it known that my body was not designed for the foods I put into it. I mentally kicked myself. It was the coffee that was doing it. I was great at holding my poop until the end of the day, but I had never held it after holding it all night. The ingestion of coffee just played merry havoc. As a college student, I had a coffee ritual. I would go to the on campus coffee shop and have one at about ten in the morning. Once, I got the urge to poop at nine and after having a ten o’clock coffee I had to poop so urgently by 10:30, that I had to leave class early and run to my dorm to use the bathroom. I barely made it and from then on out I never drank coffee if I had the urge to poop. Since I had been holding it all night and for most of the morning, I was cramping pretty hard. I bit my lip. They droned on and on and suddenly I felt something move. The poop was right at the edge of my butthole and I could feel it down there. My butt was sore and the mass was trying to get out. I didn’t know what to do. I knew that big hamburger I had yesterday wanted to come out. What I hadn’t counted on was the jalapenos I’d eaten. I cramped up again and knew I was going to poop any minute. I shifted to get to my knees so I could stand up and go to the toilet, but as soon as I got to that position I felt my sphincter give out and a hot mass of sludge deposited itself in my diaper. As it touched my butthole, it burned. I shifted uncomfortably to avoid the burning feeling when the poop mushed up in my diaper. There was also a big smell. All the ladies were looking at me. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. It was funny how that feeling was quite common the past four days. Violet looked at me and even she wrinkled her nose. “Beth, did you have an accident?” she asked me aloud. The other ladies stared at me hard. Violet stood up and pulled me too my feet. I wanted to die. “She doesn’t always make it to the bathroom,” she said. “I’ll need to change her.” She looked around and asked. “Beth, where is your diaper bag?” I thought about it and then remembered. She left it on the couch at her house and we forgot all about bringing it. I just stared at her because this was not the situation to blow my cover. “We need to go,” said Violet. “I forgot her diaper bag. She has been incontinent since the accident. I have to take her home to change her.” April smiled. “Well I think we covered most everything. Will I see you at next weeks’s meeting?” “Yes,” said Violet. April looked at me. “Don’t worry, Beth. You are still welcome back.” I smiled dumbly. I felt like the retarded kid who pooped her pants. I wanted out of there so I could get my butt clean. Jalapenos and a dirty diaper didn’t feel good together. I also wanted out of there so I could tell Violet off. We finally got to the car and Violet had me sit in the passenger seat. I got in and hovered above the seat. “Beth you have to sit down so I can get your seatbelt on you.” “But--,” I said. “I know that it is gross, but it is just poop. I’ll give you a bath and change you when we get home.” She pushed me down and I landed with a flop onto the mushy poop. It was bad before, but when I sat down it was a lot worse and poop squished clear up my butt crack and forward. I knew I would have a mess if it crept into my womanly places. I had to pee and I just left go if only to flush it out of there. Peeing didn’t help my butt either. It just spread the jalapeno taint further. Violet got in and started driving away. “I hope you are satisfied. I am humiliated,” I told her. “Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll get you changed.” “I don’t care about being changed,” I said. “I just want this treatment to stop. I am not your baby and I am not going to act like a baby any longer. In fact I am telling my probation officer to take me to jail. At least there I can use a toilet.” “Do you really feel that way?” she asked in a whine. She looked close to tears. “Yes,” I said. She continued driving. She swerved a few times and then pulled over into a McDonald’s parking lot. She opened the door and left leaving me in the car in my stinking mess. She left her cell phone in the car. It was noon and I just felt gross. I was a bit hungry too. Still, I was glad that she didn’t take me in while in my condition. I felt terrible though. My bottom still burned and I knew I would have an awful rash. She spent over a half an hour in the restaurant before she came out. Her eyes were red and her shirt had splashes of water from where she’d been crying. I sighed. I wasn’t going to give in though. She drove home and I waddled behind her into the house. We entered the living room. Jeff was lying on the couch reading a novel. The diaper bag was sitting on the floor next to the couch. It was as if it was in his way so he just put it on the floor. “I thought you two would be at the ladies meeting,” he said. “Beth forgot her supplies so we had to leave early,” she said. “Beth, I am going to get your stuff ready,” she said. She hurried upstairs. I started to follow, but Jeff caught me by the arm. “Sit next to me,” he said. “I want to talk.” “Do I have to sit?” I asked. He sniffed and then realized I was messy. “No you don’t have to sit.” He sat and took me by my arms. “I just want to thank you for what you are doing. I thought it was strange that you were wearing diapers last night so I asked Violet what was going on. She told me that you agreed to let her take care of you like a baby. That was strange, but thing is, she is herself again. In the two months before we brought you home, Violet spent twenty-three hours a day in bed. She only ate when I forced her and she was basically a mess. Medicine didn’t help. She was depressed. Now you are here and she gets up on time and she even went to that meeting. She would have stayed home if you weren’t there with her. Thank you so much for giving me my wife back.” I stood in shock. Did embarrassing me make all the difference. No, she wasn’t getting off on making me feel like a fool. She genuinely wanted a baby to care for and I was the only one available. The fact that I was almost helpless made it all the more easy for her to want to baby me. “You’re welcome,” I said. I hoped it wasn’t too late to make amends to Violet. I hurried upstairs and into the bathroom. Violet was kneeling in front of the toilet trying to get the childproof LidLok off the toilet. “Leave it on there,” I said. “It is too late for me to use the toilet.” “But you’ll need the toilet eventually,” she said. “I’m your baby and I need you to give me a bath and put me in a clean diaper.” She turned to me. “I thought you said I humiliated you and you didn’t want to be my baby anymore.” I felt guilty, but I didn’t want to drive her back to her depression. I would wear diapers for the rest of my time with them if that is what it took. “One of the hard parts of being a mother is having children throw temper tantrums. It gets worse when they become teenagers if my childhood is an example. I was just having a temper tantrum. I’m sorry I made you cry.” “It’s okay,” she said. “Let’s get you out of that smelly diaper.” She unhooked my overalls and lowered them to the floor. She then opened my diaper and then unlocked the toilet lid. She balled up the diaper and put it in the trash and then started to clean my butt with toilet paper. “Wow, you really got a bad rash,” she said. “Yeah,” I said. “Dirty diapers and jalapenos don’t mix.” “Ah, that’s it. Normally babies don’t eat jalapenos. Your diet is slightly different than a real baby, so I promise I will change you as soon as you are dirty.” “Thanks.” She cleaned me enough for me to take a shower and I left her clean me. I still felt dirty after the shower, but I thought a lot of that was psychological and due to the smell of the diaper in the trash. I lay down on the floor and got ready for my diaper change. She didn’t have any diapers for me. She grabbed the pair of panties she had brought me off the vanity and left me lying on the towel. She then returned with a thick diaper. I got a generous coating of Desitin on my butt before getting my diaper put on. She then dressed me in shorts and a t-shirt and led me down stairs to the living room. I smiled at her. “I’m going to cook something really nice for dinner. Will you watch her while I do?” she said to Jeff. “Sure,” he said. He shrugged at me when she left. “I don’t really think I can change your diaper,” he said. “There are certain parts I shouldn’t see.” I looked at the clock. It was already two. “I am sure I can hold it until dinner.” “Good,” he said. “So how come you are home during the day?” I asked. “I don’t work Friday afternoons because I am on call during the week.” He opened his novel and started to read. I looked at the cover. It was a science fiction novel. I loved reading that kind of stuff. “What are you reading?” I asked. “Can I read it when you are done?” “Listen, I am trying to read. Do you want something to do?” “I am sort of bored,” I admitted. He took me by the hand into his den. That was a room that Violet had made off limits to me. Inside, book shelves lined every wall. “You can read anything you want. Any time.” I looked along the shelves and picked a book. We returned to the living room and the two of us sat on the couch and read until dinner time. Chapter Six: I Can’t Play With THese Toys I had really gotten into the book by dinner time, but after we ate, I was quite busy getting another bath (my third that day) and getting ready for bed. Before doing that, I just sat with Jeff watching TV until Violet came down and decided it was time for my bedtime. I was tired out anyway, so I put up with getting a new diaper on and going to bed. I closed my eyes and let sleep come. ### The next morning, I woke up and did my morning pee in my diaper. I did not have to poop fortunately, since I pooped so publicly the day before. I was glad I didn’t have to go now, but I knew it would happen again later. I promised myself that I would poop my diaper while at Violet’s house so I wouldn’t have messy accidents when out in public. “Good morning,” said Violet. “Good morning,” I said. I stretched and sat upright while Violet lowered the rail of my crib. “What do you have planned today?” “We’re just staying home,” she said. “My magazine asked if I was ready to write articles again, so I will be on the computer all day.” She helped me out of the crib. “We’ll get you a bath first and then I’ll let you play.” I smiled. I looked forward to getting back into that book that Jeff had let me read. They were in a spaceship and everything bad was happening and it didn’t look like they would survive. It was the first book in the series, so I didn’t think that they would all die. I still wanted to finish the book. I even had dreams about it. Violet helped me into the bath and washed me thoroughly. “Your rash is still pretty bad,” she said. “I wish we had your diaper bag with us when you had your accident. You should have told me we forgot it.” It did hurt quite a bit and I wasn’t too happy when I got home the day before, but now I was less happy. The scrubbing hurt. Before I yesterday, wetting the diaper felt warm and pleasant almost. Now it irritated my skin. “If I was a real baby, could have I told you we forgot the diaper bag?” “I guess not,” she said. “Or if I was really brain damaged from an accident?” “Nor if that was true. I am sorry we forgot it, but let’s worry about keeping your diaper dry. Crawl into my study if you have an accident and we’ll get you changed as soon as possible.” I splashed a bit in the water and sighed. I looked forward to getting the casts off my arms and regaining the ability to use my fingers. The casts came off in less than a week. “What will the doctor say if I show up in diapers?” I asked. I punctuated the remark with giggles. “He will probably ask too many questions. I will give you a break from diapers that day. Except for then, you are going to be my baby.” She reached down and tickled me, then finished scrubbing me. When I was clean, she helped me on the floor for a diaper change. She really smeared on the Desitin before she powdered me and closed my diaper. I got put in a t-shirt and then she led me to the living room. On the middle of the living room floor was a blanket covered with dolls and baby toys. She sat me in the middle of the blanket and turned toward the door next to Jeff’s den. “Remember,” she said. “If you are the least bit wet or messy, I want you to come get me for a change. Until then, play with the toys and be quiet.” “Sure,” I said. She closed her door and I immediately stood up and climbed on the couch. The book Jeff let me have was on the cushion where I had left it. I picked it up and began to read. Violet sat in her study. I mainly heard the clickety-clack of her keyboard, but occasionally she paused and swore or said it sounded stupid or something. I tried to ignore her and continued to read the book. The crew of the spaceship managed to win their battle, but the ship was damaged and the enemy had reinforcements coming. I was so engrossed in the book that I didn’t notice that Violet had left her office until I felt the book being snatched away. “Babies can’t read,” Violet yelled. She pulled me off the couch and sat me back down on the blanket. “Now sit here and play with these toys until I get dinner fixed.” She opened the cupboard at the bottom of the coffee table and put the book inside. “Violet, I am an adult,” I said. “I can wear diapers and use them, sleep in a crib, and let you bathe me, but I cannot sit here and play with these toys.” “You are having baby food for lunch today,” she said. “You will get the same for supper if I don’t see you playing with these toys when I get back.” “Fine,” I said. I picked up a doll and held it in my arms. As soon as she left, I dropped the doll and went for my book. I cursed when I couldn’t open the little cupboard because of my casts. I picked up the doll and held it a while. I wasn’t even sure what to do. I had two older brothers and never did get into dolls. My earliest toy experience that I could remember was pushing Tonka trucks around. There were no Tonka trucks here, just dolls, a rattle, and a few plush bears. There was also a plastic tea set. With no tea or boiling hot water, I couldn’t play with the tea set, so I just held the doll. I had to pee and without thinking, I let loose in my diaper. I didn’t drink that much that day, so it was pretty strong and I knew that the wet diaper would irritate my skin. However, I really didn’t want to get Violet and ask her for a change since she was so angry now. I thought I could manage, but ten minutes later, my skin started to itch. I hated the baby treatment. I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. I still had the doll, but I ignored it. Violet was cooking something in the microwave and getting two jars of baby food ready. I couldn’t see the labels, but one was a greenish paste, and the other looked yellowish. I suppressed the urge to gag. “Violet?” She turned to me. “I told you to play until lunch time,” she said. I held up the doll. “I was, but now I am wet and it is making my rash sore. I would really like it if you changed me.” “Okay,” she said. She took me by the hand to my bedroom and made me lie on the floor. She was quick doing her work, but she was gentle. She put a lot of Desitin on me before diapering me. “Does that feel better?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “It’s lunch time now,” she said. “Let’s go eat.” We went down stairs and she sat me in front of the baby food and then got stuff out of the microwave. She had hot pockets and I just sat there as she ate them. She didn’t even offer me a bite. When she was finished, she sat in the chair beside mine and then spoon fed me the baby food. I had to suppress my gag reflex to get the stuff down. I don’t know how babies could stand to eat the stuff. When I was done, she washed my face. It needed it because she purposely missed while she fed me and I had baby food all over my face. After the meal, she took me back to the living room and sat me on the blanket. She then gave me a bottle. I drank the bottle. After I finished, I curled up on the blanket with the doll in my arms and took a nap. I didn’t wake up until much later in the afternoon when the door opened. I woke up and turned my head toward the front door. It was Jeff. “You look cute lying there like that,” he said. I sat up and smoothed my t-shirt so it covered my diaper. “Thanks.” “So how was the book?” he asked. I shrugged. “It was fine until I got about three quarters of the way through and Violet found out I was reading instead of playing with these toys.” I spread my arms out to indicate the toys on the blanket. “You got to talk to her.” He regarded me. “Are you really okay with acting like a baby?” I thought about it for awhile. Jeff was offering me a chance to stop this whole baby thing. However, there were Violet’s feelings to consider as well. “I really do need help getting baths and getting dressed, and I really don’t mind the diapers and even the baby food. I know Violet needs someone to take care of so she can heal and I don’t want to take that away from her. There is a limit to what I can endure and spending my probation playing with toys is not something one of them. I don’t even know how to play with these toys. I had all brothers and I played with trucks when I was little. I am seriously considering going back to jail. I can’t play with baby toys.” Jeff thought for a minute. “Okay,” he said. “I will talk to her and get your access to books back.” He left the room and went into the study. The tapping of keys stopped and instead I heard them talking. “She’s my baby. She can’t read,” said Violet. “Violet, you can’t treat her like this.” “She agreed to be my baby,” she said. “Ask her.” “I did,” he said, “but I am really not convinced that she agreed because that is how she wants to be treated. I think she lets you treat her like that because she feels guilty.” “So what?” she said. “I don’t care if she does it out of guilt or not. She is my baby. I already lost my real baby. I don’t want to lose her too.” “You can dress her up like a baby and treat her like one, but the woman is an adult. She has the mind of an adult and no matter how you dress her or treat her, she will always have the mind of an adult. You need to leave her a little bit of adulthood or she won’t let you treat her like your baby at all.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “She’s my baby.” “So far. She agreed to let you diaper her and bathe her. She even informed me that she is okay with you feeding her baby food. I am a bit disturbed about that, but if she is okay with it, I guess we can live with that. However, she was really upset about losing access to reading materials. I gave her permission to read the books in my study and then you took them away from her.” “I gave her toys to play with,” said Violet. “She’s an adult. Let her read,” he said. “She told me she would rather go to jail than play with those toys.” “So I lose my baby if I don’t let her read those awful books?” she said. Her voice seemed sad through the door. There was silence for a bit and then she said, “Okay.” The door opened and they came out of the study and sat together on the couch. “Beth,” said Violet, “I have decided to let you have that book back.” She opened the little cupboard in the coffee table and pulled out the book and handed it to me. I smiled and reached for it with both hands. My casts prevented me from holding it properly, but I pressed both hands together to keep my grip on it. “I caution you against reading it where company will see it or you will blow your cover. Also, I don’t want to any arguing with me.” “Deal,” I said. I never did get to read the rest of my book that night. Between supper time, bath time, and getting sent to bed, the rest of my evening was pretty busy. I did catch up on reading the next day though. Chapter Seven: Messy in Public Again The next day I spent the morning in the living room as Violet sat typing away in her study. I was almost through with the book and had gone into Jeff’s office to find another one when Violet called my name. “Beth, where are you?” I put the book I finished back in its place on the shelf and came out. “I’m just getting a book.” “Well, you can read later. Right now we got to go to town so I can talk to my editor.” She carried my overalls and some socks and shoes. I looked down. I was a bit damp and thought I could use a change. I also had to poop really bad and did not want a repeat of the last time I pooped. “Can you change my diaper before we leave?” I walked toward the couch and sat down. She set the overalls, socks, and shoes next to me. “Yeah, hold on and let me get you a clean diaper.” She left the room. While she was gone, I tried to poop myself. I felt a pressure and knew I would have to go pretty soon, but no matter what I did, I could manage to mess myself. I did manage to thoroughly flood myself before she came back. “Lie down,” she commanded me when she returned. I laid on my back and closed my eyes while she knelt in between my legs and slid a diaper under me. The old diaper came off and then I shivered as the cold clammy feeling of Desitin was rubbed against my skin. Soon I was packed into the new diaper and dressed in the overalls, shoes, and socks. I sat up as soon as we were done and we headed for the door. “Be sure to bring my diaper bag,” I said. I watched to make sure the bag came with us as well as Violets purse and brief case. I hoped this trip didn’t take long. I wanted to get back before I had a messy accident. The trip in the car was pretty much uneventful. Violet was lost in thought and I just stared out the car window. I wondered how long I could go on living like this. It had been less than a week, and I had yet to be beaten. A week was the longest that Peter had gone without beating me. I wondered when Jeff and Violet would start. The only thing I had really pushed was the issue with the book. The car finally pulled into the parking lot of an office building and we got out. “Now I got to talk to my editor in his office. Can I trust you to sit in the lobby and stay out of trouble?” I nodded. “I didn’t hear you,” said Violet. “Yes,” I said. We walked inside. The lobby was a pretty airy room with a seating area with leather chairs and a coffee table covered with magazines. There was a large desk on the other side where a receptionist sat. Violet pointed to one of the chairs. “Sit down here.” She walked to the desk. “I’m here to see Jay Fourier,” she said to the receptionist. “He’s expecting you,” said the receptionist. “You can go right in.” Violet left me alone, so I picked up one of the magazines and paged through it. It was a science magazine. I read through several articles including one about satellites. I got halfway through the magazine when I realized that I couldn’t hold it much longer. I had to poop and bad. I decided that I couldn’t poop in the lobby of the building, so I stood up and walked to the receptionist’s desk. “Where are the rest rooms?” I asked. “Down the hall and to the left.” She pointed the way. I followed her directions and found a door that say Ladies. I hurried inside and went into a stall. I then reached up to undo the straps of my overalls and frowned. I couldn’t get them undone. The casts on my hands really wouldn’t let me get enough dexterity to undo them. They weren’t metal loops like most overalls. They were little plastic things that clicked into place. To undo them, I would need to squeeze the plastic pieces together and slip them apart. I couldn’t do it. I thought about asking the receptionist, but that would be embarrassing. I had to pee and poop really bad and I was afraid it would come out on its own. Pooping would be really noticeable, but I could get away with peeing. I relaxed my bladder and clinched my butt and wet myself. That relieved some of the pressure, but I still had to poop pretty urgently. I then washed my hands and hurried back to the lobby and retook my seat. I picked up another magazine and looked through it before Violet returned. I looked up and saw her smile at me. “I see you were behaving.” I stood up and we walked out of the building together. “What is next?” I asked. My urge to poop made it hard to walk, but I finally made it back to the car. “I thought we would eat out,” Violet said. “Can’t we eat at the house?” I asked. “Why do you not want to eat out?” she asked. I was silent for a minute and I think I blushed. “I have to poop really bad and I want a bath after I mess my diaper.” “If we eat at home, we need to stop at the grocery store. Besides Applebees is having lunch specials. Just use your diaper and I will change you in the bathroom.” I was trying my best to hold it as Violet drove toward the restaurant. I knew I couldn’t hold for too long. Even if I made it into the restaurant, I could’t hold it until we finished eating and Violet would want to change me in the nearest bathroom anyway. “Please don’t make me poop in public again,” I begged. “Use your diaper,” Violet said. “If you do, we can stop at the mall and use the family bathrooms where there is more privacy. After I change you, we can stop at Barnes and Noble and I will buy you a present.” She looked hard at me as we headed toward the direction of Applebees and the mall. I sighed and leaned over against the passenger door, so my butt was partially off the seat. I didn’t even have to push that hard when I let go and emptied my bowels into my diaper. I straightened up and felt the mess smear against my bottom as I basically sat on it. It wasn’t as bad as last time. Sure it smelled bad and I felt it smoosh against my skin, but it didn’t burn. Then again, my diet had been baby food instead of jalapeno-laced hamburgers, so I guess that is what made the difference. It felt really warm. I would not say it felt nice, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I still wanted changed immediately. Violet smiled at me when she smelled what I did. We then pulled into the parking lot of the mall and she got me out of the car and handed me my diaper bag. We walked into the mall in silence. She held my hand and I just looked at me feet as we journeyed through the mall. I could feel every eye staring at me. I was waddling with a just-pooped-my-pants waddle. I hoped this was worth the promised book at the book store. When we arrived in the family restroom, Violet took me by the hand and led me to one of the single user restrooms. Inside was both a large and small toilet and a changing table. There was also a sink. “Everyone was staring at me,” I hissed. “You were looking at your shoes,” Violet said. “No one really looked our direction. She motioned me up onto the changing table. It was really too small for me, but it was embedded in the counter. It wasn’t a fold-down one that would break if I lay on it. She made quick work of cleaning me. Still, she used lots of toilet paper and several baby wipes before she was able to change me. I knew I was cleaner, but I still wanted a bath. I did get the new diaper on and we made it out of there quickly. I was worried about the poopy adult diaper in the trash, but Violet threw a few wet paper towels on top of it. No one would probably dig through the trash and everyone would probably assume it was a baby diaper in there. We left and as promised, Violet took me to the book store. I quickly found a book about a girl in a spaceship that went on a fifty year journey that was time-diluted to be approximately eight years, but then found out that faster than light travel had been invented after she left. I looked forward to finding out what happened to her, but I had to wait until we finished eating. ### It didn’t really take that long to eat. Violet did have to help me a little since my hands were still in casts. I did have one rather embarrassing moment though. A man my age at the next table over was staring at me. He wore a fedora, so I thought his staring was even more creepy. Did he notice my fat, diapered ass as I sat down? I hoped not. He was staring at my face, I thought. “The man in the booth at your five o’clock is staring at me,” I whispered. “You’re sitting down,” she said. “He can’t see your diaper.” I thought that was true, but it was still uncomfortable. He stood up and I thought he and the girl he was sitting with were going to leave, but he came up to our table and stopped by. “Pardon me,” he said. “I noticed the stitches on your head and wondered if you had surgery lately.” He took off his hat and revealed he had similar scars. I just stared dumbly, then played it up a bit by drooling. He didn’t seem to mind. “I had a brain tumor removed recently. I lead a support group for survivors of brain cancer. Are you interested?” I had to give some excuse. However, I didn’t really want to deal with him. I gave Violet a pleading look. “I’m sorry,” said Violet. “My niece was in an accident and really can’t function by herself anymore. She suffered from brain damage.” “I’m sorry,” said the guy. He left. After that incident, we left. I started reading my book in the car and then laughed a bit. “What’s so funny?”asked Violet. “I was thinking back to when I lived at home. I was a late bloomer and didn’t get potty trained until I was four. My mother had to resort to rewarding me with toys when I used the potty. It seems like you are doing the opposite: rewarding me when I used my diaper.” Violet smiled. “We aren’t really going to make a habit of rewarding you every time you mess yourself. I only got you to do it this time because last time was such an awful experience.” “Oh,” I said, a bit disappointed. “Well, it wasn’t as bad as last time. I still don’t like it.” “Well, maybe next time you will be at home when you mess yourself.” Oh great, I though, there is going to be a next time. Chapter Eight: The Babysitter Over the next few days Violet got more work done for her magazines. A few times we even went on road trips for a certain bit of research she had to do. One day, Violet got me up and dressed again. She dressed me in pink pants and a black baby doll t-shirt. The design was a variation of three wolf moon design, the classic t-shirt with a moon and three wolves on it. I always thought shirts like that were cheesy. Peter wore one. However, this one had three images of a young man with no shirt. “What’s with this guy on this t-shirt?” I asked. “Usually it is a wolf on t-shirts like this, not a Chippendale’s dancer.” “Jacob is a werewolf,” said Violet. “Besides, we are going to April Luther’s house for a committee meeting and Mabel’s niece will be there. She’s seventeen and loves Twilight, so she will like your shirt.” “I am wearing this shirt to impress a high school girl?” I asked. “Yes, you are,” said Violet. She almost pulled me down the stairs and outside toward the car. “Great.” ### After the car trip, I really had to pee. I wasn’t wet when I woke up. I had wet before Violet changed me for bed and I didn’t wake up until Violet woke me. We got to April Luther’s house and I almost had to stop and cross my legs three times before we made it up the sidewalk to the door. Carrying my bulky diaper bag wasn’t helping. Violet rang the doorbell and April Luther answered. “Oh hi, Violet,” she said. “Everyone else is already here.” She smiled at me. “And Beth, you are always welcome. I see you brought your supplies.” I tried not to blush, but only lost my concentration on my bladder. I was wetting full force into my diaper. I looked like a fool with my obvious diaper bulge that was growing larger and carrying an actual diaper bag that held my replacements. Violet pulled me by the arm into the house. We went into the living room into the crowd of women getting ready for their meeting. “I made it again,” said Violet. She took a seat on the couch and smiled. I sat on the floor in front of her and looked down. No one said anything about my wet diaper, so I thought no one noticed that I’d wet myself again. I hoped that would remain the case all though I doubted it. While the women were discussing committees and meeting minutes, I looked around for Mabel’s seventeen-year-old niece. However, I saw her nowhere. Instead, I sat there bored. It didn’t help that the clock still hadn’t been wound. It sure does feel like time stands still when the hands on a clock are not actually moving. After about an hour April finally finished her talk. “With that, we will adjourn to the kitchen for refreshments.” The ladies started to mill into the kitchen. I got up to follow them, but Violet tapped me on the shoulder. “Beth, do you need a change?” Some of the ladies looked at me and I looked at my shoes again. She had said it loud enough for everyone to hear. To make matters worse, she put her hand in my pants to check. “April, is there a place where I can change her real quick?” “You can change her in the bedroom.” I waddled a bit as I followed Violet into the bedroom. I knew everyone knew the reason and it really embarrassed me, but what else could I do. At least Mrs. Luther and the other ladies didn’t make fun of me. I laid down on the bed and let Violet pull my pants off. “You pretty much announced to everyone that I was wearing diapers.” “Beth, they already knew.” She pulled out a diaper and set it beneath me and started to untape my wet diaper. “You made it obvious last time when you messed yourself.” She then begin to clean me with wipes. Suddenly, the door opened. A teenager stood in the threshold and just started to stare at me. I wanted to die. After an uncomfortable moment, the girl spoke. “I’m Mabel’s niece. I just wondered if you needed help.” Violet smiled. “Not now,” she said. “We’ll be done in a bit.” My face burned and I had to have turned pretty red because when the door shut again, Violet frowned at me. “If you really did have brain damage, you wouldn’t be blushing so hard.” She closed the clean diaper on me and started to tape it up. “Well I guess so, but I am still embarrassed by the diapers,” I said. “I suppose so,” she said. “Well, it’s time for treats,” she said. I stood up and let her tug my pants up and button them. We went out to the kitchen again and followed Violet to the table. There were plates of cookies, and some pie. There was also coffee. I really missed coffee a lot, so I reached for a cup and started to pick it up. “I think we’ll just have milk today, Beth.” She took the cup from my hand and replaced it with a cookie. Mrs. Luther quickly brought me a plastic cup filled with milk. “There you go, sweetie.” I took the proffered mug, at that point just happy it was not a sippie cup. Violet directed me to a chair at another table toward the back door. In the chair next to me was the teen girl that invaded my diaper change. “You must be Beth,” she said. “I’m Lillie.” I ignored her and started to eat my cookie. “Don’t mind her rudeness,” said Violet. “She has a head injury and is still non-verbal.” “I thought so. Aunt Mabel told me that she acts like a toddler and I saw she needs diapers. She must be bored to death of these meetings Aunt Mabel has.” “It is pretty hard for her to sit still.” “I’ll watch her for you during the rest of the meeting.” She smiled. “We’ll be right in the other room and I’ll get you if it is anything I can’t handle.” I turned to Violet and stared daggers at her, but she ignored me. “I suppose it will be okay,” she said. “Great,” said Lillie. I wanted to scream but instead I just crammed the rest of the cookie into my mouth. After I swallowed, I quickly downed my milk. I was not happy about being put in a room with a highschooler who knew I was diapered. However, I couldn’t even protest, or I’d blow my cover. ### After refreshments, Lillie wasted no time in taking me to the other room. The other room was the bedroom I had my diaper change in. My diaper bag still lay on the bed and it was open. Lillie noticed it right away. She climbed on the bed and went through the diaper bag. She pulled out diapers, Desitin, and, and bottles of powder. She even pulled out my novel I was reading. I was angry now. I reached for the book and tried to grab it from her hand. “Hey careful there,” she said. She pulled the book out of my reach.” My only resort was to do my fake cry. I felt stupid, but it worked. In no time her demeanor changed. “It’s okay,” she said. “You like books? How about I read you a story.” I stopped crying. She shoved my stuff back in the diaper bag and put it on the floor. She then pulled me up beside her on the bed and then grabbed a back pack from the night stand and went through it until she found a book. “I know you like Twilight from your shirt. Maybe we can jog your memory a bit if I read it to you again.” She smiled. “I have to warn you. I am a Team Edward girl and you know he ends up with Bella instead of Jacob.” I stared blankly at her. I did not have to fake that blank stare. I had no idea what she was talking about. She didn’t seem to mind and instead started to read to me. ### Violet came in and smiled at me. “So do you need a change?” “I checked her earlier and she wasn’t really that wet,” said Lillie. I still had resented that invasion, but it wasn’t as bad as a full diaper change. “Oh, good,” she said. She picked up my diaper bag and I followed her to the car. “Goodbye Beth,” said Mrs. Fletcher. “Come back again.” I smiled at her. I so wanted to have the humiliation end. “We’ll be back next time,” said Violet. She buckled me in the passenger seat and went around to drive. We pulled out of the neighborhood while I sat in silence. “How do you like Lillie? I understand she read you a story.” I opened my mouth to speak. There was a lot I wanted to complain about today. First, I was humiliated, a high school girl babysat me, violated my diaper bag, and put her hand in my pants, but I could only complain about the most egregious item. “Vampires do not sparkle.” Chapter Nine: the Doctor and the Night Out The next morning was busy and I hated it. I woke up in the crib like I always had since living with Violet and I sighed. I had to pee a bit more urgently than usual, so I just wet my diaper while staring aimlessly at the mobile. I couldn’t really do anything else except get more and more uncomfortable from holding it. My arms were still in casts and Violet had somehow found an adult sleeper that zipped in the back. I wasn’t even sure I could have unzipped it with two healthy hands. Ironically, as soon as I wet my diaper and got comfortable, Violet came to get me. “How did mama’s baby sleep?” she asked. I rolled my eyes. “Wah, Wah, I am wet,” I said. The crying was as monotone as I could make it. “Well let’s get you a bath before your rash comes back. We don’t want to explain that to the doctor, do we?” I certainly did not. I was getting tired of the diapers, but I let Violet help me out of the crib and I followed her to the bathroom for bath time. As she bathed me, she was more thorough than usual. She also wasted no time in helping me clean up. Usually she made a big show of making me play with bath toys. She also hummed happily to herself. “You’re happy,” I remarked. She helped me out of the tub and started to dry me. “It is Jeff and my anniversary. He is taking me out to a fancy restaurant tonight.” “Good for you,” I said. “You’ve only been taking care of me in the evenings. It will be good for you to get together and have a good time.” Inwardly I was happy I would get a bit of alone time. “Yeah,” she said. “You sure you will be okay without me to take care of you?” She picked up my pile of clothes and started to dress me. She put the shirt on me and I raised my arms as she dressed me. However, the pile wasn’t as thick as I thought is should be. It wasn’t until she grabbed a pair of panties from a three-pack that I realized there was no diaper. “Panties?” I asked. “The doctor will notice if you wear a diaper. Want to explain the diapers?” She held them for me and I stepped into them and then she pulled them up to my waist. “Oh yeah, I get the casts off. Finally I can move on my own again.” “But, I will still be helping you.” As if to prove a point, she held out some light blue pants for me to step into. She got them on me and then we were about to leave. We had just gotten into the car when Violet’s phone rang. She answered it. “Hi, Mabel.” I tried to listen to the conversation, but only heard half. “Oh yes...No. That won’t work out. Jeff and I are going to dinner tonight for our anniversary...No, Beth isn’t coming. She will stay at home...Jeff and I really want to be alone...Yes, I would really appreciate that...Thanks, I’ll see Lillie tonight.” “What was that about?” I asked. I was concerned when I heard Lillie’s name mentioned. “I don’t really want to upset you, but Lillie is coming to babysit when Jeff and I are going out tonight.” “Absolutely not,” I said. “There is no way I am putting up with being treated like a baby by anyone, but you.” “Well, our friends know that Jeff and I are going out and they think we were irresponsible if we left a brain damaged college student alone when she has the mind of a toddler.” “Couldn’t you get someone else?” I begged. “Anyone else?” “Sorry, but Lillie is offering to do this. She really wants to be a nurse when she grows up and Mabel things taking care of you would be good for her. Besides, she needs something to focus on besides vampires.” “Fine,” I said. We arrived at the doctor’s office soon after our argument and we got out. I walked in happily knowing that I was soon going to get my casts cut off and I was also not wearing a diaper. Violet guided me to a seat in the waiting room and went up to announce our presence. “It will be about ten minutes,” the nurse at the counter said. I sighed. Well, I had waited six weeks to get my casts off, I could wait ten more minutes. Violet sat beside me and picked up a magazine. I opened my book and started to read. Before too long a nurse came out. “Elizabeth Browning, the Dr. Mitchell will see you.” I fumbled to put the book mark in my book and handed it to Violet. I then followed the nurse back to an examination room. She smiled at me. “I bet you will be glad to get those casts off.” “I will,” I said. “I can’t even dress myself with these casts. Violet’s been a big help.” I couldn’t even use the bathroom by myself. I didn’t think the diapers were the way to go, but I just wore those for Violet’s benefit. After this, the only purpose for the diapers would be to give Violet someone to baby. “Well, I will leave you here until the doctor comes.” She left. I looked around the room at all the medical gear. There were models of an ear and a nose. My face warmed up when I saw a poster that talked about the treatment of incontinence. There was even a skeleton in the corner. On the counter there was a small circular saw. Also there was some strong-looking scissors and what looked like a lobster cracker. I shivered. The doctor might cut my arm off. With Violet’s help, I could wear the casts forever. It wouldn’t be so bad. Violet would keep me in diapers anyway. However, before I could panic any further and make my escape, the doctor entered. “Hi, I’m Dr. Mitchell. I understand you want your casts off.” I slowly nodded. He looked at my arms and frowned. “No one signed your casts?” he asked. I remembered back when I was a child that whenever anyone got a cast, they carried a marker so they could get the cast signed. I had always wanted to do that, but I when I actually got a cast the first time, I had no friends and even if I did find some people to sign it, it would only make Peter jealous. This time, however, I could have gotten it signed without Peter’s influence, but I never thought of that. Besides, I was playing the part of a brain damaged girl, so I couldn’t really ask for signatures. “I don’t really have a lot of friends. Jeff and Violet are the closest I have to friends.” He frowned. “Well, let’s get started.” He picked up the big saw and turned it on. The saw was loud. I extended my left arm and hid my face and closed my eyes. “Relax,” he said. “I haven’t cut anyone yet. Besides, the blade just vibrates. It doesn’t spin so it won’t cut skin.” He touched the blade against his arm. “See?” I felt both relief and embarrassment, but I wasn’t as squeamish as he started to saw the cast off my arm. He cut one cut down the length of each side of the cast. After he did the first two cuts, he took my other arm and made the same two cuts on that cast. Then he turned off the saw. “There,” he said. “You didn’t feel a nick, did you?” “No,” I said. He took the lobster cracker and used it to pry each cast apart. Underneath the cast was a gauzy wrap and he cut through those with the scissors. The casts were pulled away and I was free. I looked down at my arms. The skin on my hands and forearms was all dry and wrinkled and they stank. I wrinkled my nose. “Six weeks without washing probably took its toll,” he said. “I’ll let you wash your arms in the sink there before you go.” He took my arms one at a time and tested each joint for its full range of motion. He got to my left hand and tried to move my ring and pinkie fingers and I winced in pain. I looked at that hand and it still was swollen a bit. It was slightly off and I couldn’t move them as far. “Those fingers are a bit stiff. I’ll schedule you for some more X-rays in a few weeks if they don’t get better.” It was better than expected. The doctors had told me my hands might be permanently damaged from Peter’s stomping on them, but that they would do the best they could. At least the problem was on my left hand. I stood up and went to the sink and washed my hands as the doctor read through my chart and made more entries. As I washed, a lot of dead skin peeled off. At least I was clean. My arms didn’t look as dirty or disgusting any more. I turned around to smile at the doctor, but he motioned me back to the examination table. “According to your chart, there is a problem,” he said. “Oh?” I was starting to get worried. “They didn’t use dissolvable sutures when they fixed your head wound.” “Is that bad?” I asked. “Not really,” he said. “They just should have removed the stitches later. I can do it for you.” “What if we just leave them in?” I asked. “Then they might get infected. Now just lie back on the table and I will take care of them.” I lay back on the table and closed my eyes. Of course the doctor was gentle. He gently removed my head band and then started parted my short hair to get to each stitch. I cringed as he took sharp scissors and snipped each stitch and each time he took his tweeters to pull the stitch out, I thought he was going to drill into my head, but at last he spoke to me again. “They’re out,” he said. “Was that so bad?” “No, but I never want to go through that again,” I said. “Well, let’s do something to make sure you aren’t injured again,” he said. “Dr. May wrote that he suspected you were being abused and that you had a pattern of ‘falling down the stairs’. I don’t like what I see here. Do you want to talk about what is going on?” “No,” I said. “What’s going on at home?” he asked. “You are living with that Violet woman out in the waiting room, right?” I hoped he didn’t think that diapers were abuse. How would he even know? “Nothing’s going on at home. I like staying with Jeff and Violet because I don’t get hit anymore.” “Who hit you?” the doctor asked. “My boyfriend Peter, but I am away from him now.” I started to cry when I thought about what I had gone through. Through sobs I told him how I came to live with Violet. I left out the part about being her baby and wearing diapers. “Okay,” he said. “I was just concerned that the abuse hadn’t been addressed. I am glad you are moving past that,” he said. “Thanks,” I said. “Maybe if someone had this conversation earlier, I would not have been in this situation.” He ran his hand through my short hair. “Well, let’s get you back to Violet, so you can go home.” I stood up. “However, you are more vulnerable to attracting men who will treat you just like Peter treated you. Just be careful if you decide to date again.” “I will,” I said. I thought about my role as Violet’s diapered baby when with her and Jeff and being a brain-damaged incontinent girl to everyone else. “I don’t think I will be dating for awhile.” I left and found Violet in the waiting room. She paid the nurse and we were out the door. I opened the door by myself and got into the car. She drove off and she smiled. I was much better off with Jeff and Violet than I was with Peter. “Violet,” I said. “What is it?” she asked. “Thank you for letting me come to live with you.” “I’m glad to have you as my baby,” Violet said. “So where do you want to eat?” I thought about it a bit. “Fast food is good enough,” I said. “How about McDonalds?” She pulled in the parking lot and we both got out and got in line. “You can order anything you want. You’ll just have to eat whatever Lillie decides to feed you, so at least you get to choose at lunch.” I looked at the menu and there were so many things I hadn’t eaten in so long. I know McDonalds isn’t really exciting, but I was excited. Wearing only underwear and never leaving the house by myself made me crave going out. “I’ll have a Big Mac meal,” I said. “What do you want to drink?” she asked. “Dr. Pepper, of course,” I said. She ordered and we got our food and sat at our table. She put my burger in front of me and started on her own. I took my sandwich and took a bite out of it. It tasted divine. I was also glad I could use my own two hands for eating. My left hand bugged me a bit since my ring and pinkie fingers couldn’t contribute to holding the sandwich, but it was better than having two casts on my arms that kept me from holding something larger than a French fry. “So will you be good for Lillie?” Violet asked me. “I’ll behave,” I said. I took another bite of my sandwich and then dipped my French fry into some ketchup and took a bite of that. I then enjoyed my Dr. Pepper. Violet kept talking about how she and Jeff were going to celebrate their anniversary and I kept sipping on my supersized Dr. Pepper. Soon I had the urge to pee. I relaxed and started peeing, but then I felt really wet. I looked down and saw a pool of pee forming in between my legs in the chair. It was also running behind me toward the back of the booth. I tried to clamp down and stop, but I can’t stop once I get going. I had forgotten that I wasn’t wearing diapers. “Oh shit,” I whispered. “What’s wrong?” “Don’t get mad at me,” I said, “but I just wet myself.” She looked under the table at me as the obvious wet spot in my light blue pants and the puddle of pee started to drip off the front of the seat. “Beth, what happened?” “I forgot I wasn’t diapered. I got used to just going whenever I had to go.” “Well, let’s just finish our meals and then I’ll change you in the bathroom.” I sighed. “I guess adult time is over.” I sat in discomfort for a bit and then Violet went out to the car and got my diaper bag. I felt like all eyes were on me as Violet took me by the hand to the ladies room. I heard at least one small voice say, “That lady peed her pants,” before I made it to the sanctity of the bathroom. Once in the stall Violet got to work right away. She pulled down my pants and the panties that I had just got to wear once and I stepped out of my shoes as she helped me. Then she put a clean diaper on me. However, for pants, all she had was a pair of bright orange soccer shorts. I stepped into them and watched embarrassed as Violet rolled up my panties into my pants and then stuffed the whole bundle into a plastic bag before tucking it in my diaper bag. I truly felt like a toddler being put back into diapers after an accident. That was exactly what I was. We went out into the restaurant and Violet flagged down a McDonalds employee. “My niece had a bit of an accident in her seat. There is a bit of a puddle. I’m so sorry about that. She has medical issues.” He looked at me and I know he was really cute. However, I had to go back to being brain damaged again. I still gave him an embarrassed smile before we left. We got out to the car and Violet was smiling again. “That was unexpected.” “It was unexpected to me as well. What’s going to happen when you get tired of diapering me? I might get stuck in diapers.” “Didn’t you say you just forgot you didn’t have on a diaper on? I did that a couple times after I stopped wearing diapers from my pregnancy.” She suddenly looked sad, but she continued. “Of course I was in bed at the time, so cleaning up that mess wasn’t fun for Jeff. He’s a really good husband.” “Well, I feel a bit better. Still embarrassed, but better.” “Well let’s get you home. I bet you want to finish your book before Lillie comes.” “Oh good idea,” I said. I read my book until we got back. As we pulled in the driveway Violet looked at me. “Beth, do you want me to give you your bath now, or should I tell Lillie to bathe you tonight?” I frowned. The idea of being naked in a tub while Lillie was scrubbing me was not the least bit appealing. Before meeting Violet, I really didn’t take a bath both morning and night. I usually showered right before I started making Peter’s dinner. I would usually take a shower in the morning as well, but sometimes I took a bath if I knew I could get my chores done before he got home. Then again, I usually didn’t pee myself. My change in the McDonalds bathroom left me smelling of pee. “You can bathe me now, Violet,” I said as we walked into the house. We went in the bathroom and she started running the water. She then stripped me down to my diaper. I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. I sure had fallen. I was first a promising college student, then I wore only lingerie for two years while being brutalized. Now, when I was supposed to graduate, I was just a big toddler. “Do you need to go potty before I take your diaper off?” she asked. I kind of had to poop and I even thought about going in my diaper before bath time. The timing was actually perfect for once. However, I didn’t really want to poop in the diaper. Maybe I would have if it wasn’t Violet’s anniversary. I wondered if I hadn’t had an accident, if Violet would have let me poop in the toilet for once, but that was water under the bridge, or rather a puddle of something in the seat at McDonalds. “No, I’m fine,” I said. She slid my diaper off and I sat in the water. This time, I couldn’t get away without playing with the toys. “You don’t have the excuse of the casts to avoid playing with the toys.” Reluctantly, I steered the little boats around the tub through the soapy water. After I played a while, she smiled at me. “Time to get you clean.” She soaped up the washcloth and began scrubbing me. My arms, legs, and even my privates were soaped. She then poured water from a Tupperware pitcher unto my head before shampooing my hair. Once clean she got me out of the tub and started to dry me off. She lay me down on the floor and I closed my eyes and readied myself for the diaper change. She put the diaper under me and was going to close it up, but I stopped her. “Suppose Lillie doesn’t do a good job of changing me. I don’t want to get a rash.” “It will be fine. She’s babysat before.” “Well use Desitin just in case,” I begged. “Okay, I suppose it won’t hurt,” she said. She smeared the cold slimy stuff on my diaper area and I did my best not to squirm because it was my idea. When she was done, she diapered me. She then dressed me in my plaid overalls and a pink t-shirt. “All good?” she asked. I nodded and then followed her to the living room where I sat with my book. I started reading. “You know you need to put the book away before Lillie gets here,” she said. “I will,” I said. “I’m getting packed,” she said. “Be good. Jeff should be home in about a half an hour and then Lillie will be here at two.” “Packed?” I asked panicked. “How long will you be gone?” “Just the weekend,” she said. She turned and headed up the stairs. I frowned. I had to spend a whole weekend with Lillie. My stomach gave a little rumble and I regretted not messing my diaper before bath time. I had to poop and I would not be able to wait until Violet and Jeff returned from their anniversary. I could hold out until at least this evening. I smiled at the thought of my little present that Lillie would have to deal with tonight. Chapter Ten: The Babysitter’s Boyfriend I finally made it to the last three pages of the novel I was reading when the doorbell rang. Violet took the book from me and put a book mark in it and went to door. She wore a dress and pearls and she looked excited. “Beth, Lillie is here.” She opened the door, and Lillie walked in. The girl was dressed in all black and wore glitter make up. She smiled. “Hello, Mrs. Violet. I’m ready to babysit Beth. She put her duffle bag on the coffee table and then sat right beside me. “How are you doing, Beth? We are going to have so much fun this weekend.” She then actually pinched my cheek. I wanted to scream at her, or at least tell her off, but again I couldn’t or it would blow my cover. Violet did calm her down a bit. “Well don’t get Beth too worked up. She just got her stitches out and the doctor said to be careful not to reinjure her.” Jeff came down the stairs and smiled at me. He took my hands in his. “Now, Beth, please be good for your babysitter. Violet and I will be back in a few days.” He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Sorry about the babysitter. We can’t really explain it if you break your cover.” I frowned, and sat back down on the couch. However Violet leaned over to Lillie. “Let me show you Beth’s room.” She got up and I followed them up the stairs. We walked down the hall and Violet opened the door. She didn’t open the door to my nursery, but to the guest room next to it. Inside was a full bed, a desk and a dresser. A couple bags of diapers peaked out from under the bed. It would be a nice room to live in and where I would have been living if I wasn’t always playing baby. “When you change her, you can just lay her on the floor. The baby monitor is right by her bed so you can listen in case she needs something.” “I sure can do that,” said Lillie. “Where should I sleep?” “I guess you can sleep in our room,” said Violet and led her to the master bedroom. I went back down the stairs and sat on the couch. When I saw my book I just wanted to finish the last three pages, but I couldn’t risk Lillie seeing me. Instead I grabbed the tea set and set the coffee table as if I were going to have a tea party. They still didn’t come down, but I saw Lillie’s bag and I opened it up. I groaned. On the top of the bag were three Twilight DVDs. “How did that book ever get made into movies?” I asked myself. I dug deeper into the bag. There were clothes, of course, but I also felt something rounded and plastic. I was about to pull it out, but I heard footsteps going down the stairs and I quickly closed the bag and started sipping imaginary tea out of one of the tea cups. “So if there is anything you need,” said Violet, “you have our cell phone numbers. Please call rather than let anything happen to Beth.” “Don’t worry about anything,” said Lillie. “I can handle her and I will keep her dry and clean.” I blushed at the reference to my diapers. Violet put her hand on my shoulder. “Can you say ‘bye, bye?’” I grabbed onto her arm, but she dislodged me and I glanced at Lillie with apprehension. She waved and the followed Jeff out the door. Lillie held my hand until the car started and then she watched them pull out of the drive way. “I got the house to myself now. You had better be good,” she warned me. She pulled out her phone and then dialed a number. “I got the house to myself. I am ready for you Brian.” She then hung up. She then unzipped my pants and stuck her hand inside my diaper. “Oh good, Beth. You are still dry. You got to promise me to try to stay dry when my boyfriend Brian gets here.” I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call Violet. I did know her number and there was a prepaid phone in Jeff’s desk drawer in the study. However, I didn’t want to blow my cover. I did not really care what kinds of decisions Lillie made, but not if it would inconvenience me. If she was going to slut around with her boyfriend, I wanted nothing to do with it. However, I would just have to play along. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the floor next to me by the coffee table and I handed her a tea cup. “Oh, are you having a tea party, Beth?” She smiled and took a sip of the imaginary tea. Then she poured me some. It was still drinking air, but at least she was focused on her babysitting instead of the boyfriend. I wondered if I could teach her a lesson. An hour later, I had to pee, so I wet myself. I was almost afraid I was getting too used to the diapers, but that choice was taken from me. I should have peed little by little, but I let it out in a flood and my diaper was soaked. It wasn’t to the leaking point, but I was ready for a change. I thought about trying to get her attention, but she was too busy naming my dolls and stuffed animals really hokey old people names like Jasper and Bella. It was only the doorbell which broke her out of her concentration. “Oh, it’s Brian,” she said and opened the door. A high school guy walked in. His hair was too long and he wore a leather jacket, even though it was the end of April. He wore a heavy metal t-shirt and he glance at me with apprehension when he walked in. “I thought you were babysitting by yourself,” he said. He pointed at me. “Who’s she?” She took me by the hand. “Hey Beth, this is my boyfriend Brian. Beth is Violet’s niece. I’m babysitting her.” He gave me a puzzled look. “She needs a baby sitter?” “Um, yeah. She hit her head in college and is brain damaged. She can’t talk and the head injury really set her back. She acts like a toddler and even has to wear diapers. “That is kind of gross,” said Brian. “Well I am getting paid a hundred bucks for the weekend. I don’t care if she needs diapers or not.” She frowned at me and then reached her hand into my diaper. “Oh someone needs a diaper change.” She took my hand and led me to the guest bedroom. “Should I wait outside?” he asked. Of course he should wait outside. Was he a moron or something? No, but someone was. “Nope. She does know one way or another if you can see her get changed.” She motioned me to a towel she laid on the floor. “Lie down for your diaper change, Beth.” I could have made a fuss, but I would have got changed anyway, so I just lay down and closed my eyes. She pulled off my jeans and opened my diaper and I just wanted to die as she began to clean me with wipes. “Eww,” said Brian. “I’m waiting in the living room.” I was so grateful he decided to leave me alone. She pulled the diaper off me and put the new one in place. Then after applying a bit of powder, she closed up my diaper. I then lifted my butt to let her put my pants back on, but she just pulled me to my feet. “I am not putting your pants on. If you wet, I really should keep an eye on you.” I was angry, but I had to accept further humiliation. What else could Brian see of me that he hadn’t seen already? He already saw what was under my diaper and I didn’t have much under my shirt. Even Lillie had bigger breasts than me and she was probably going to be showing hers to Brian that night. There was going to no way I would win tonight. I would just complain angrily to Violet when she got home. She took me by the hand out to the living room and I reluctantly took a seat on the floor and played with the blocks. I felt foolish sitting there in a diaper and a shirt, but Brian wasn’t paying attention to me. Lillie was straddling him on the couch and he had his hand up her shirt trying to undo her bra. My stomach hurt so bad, but I smiled anyway. It was time. I sighed. I really was going to do this. There was no way to last the weekend without pooping myself and I had forgone my chance to mess before my bath. However, I had to go. I sat on my hands and knees in front of my tower of blocks. If I pushed, I would have a massive poop in my diaper. I looked up at Lillie and Brian. His hand was down her pants and she was moaning. I pushed. At first, I had trouble. I had to go a lot and it hurt as my butthole was stretched uncomfortably. Then the poop touched the inside of my diaper and I just had to push harder. Soon I could feel my diaper push away from my butt and I looked back to see a bulge. It looked like someone shoved a grapefruit in the back of my diaper. Lillie and Brian were still making out, and even though I knew that I smelled, the scent probably hadn’t reached them. I crawled a bit closer to them and then sat down hard in front of the tea set. The bulge in the back of my diaper flattened and I felt the mess spread all over the inside of my diaper and the smell increased. Immediately I regretted what I had done, but I grinned as Brian tried to sit up suddenly, which knocked Lillie to the floor. “Did you just fart?” he asked her. “It smells like shit in here.” Lillie got up. “No, I didn’t,” she said. They both looked at me and Lillie groaned. “Beth must have had an accident.” “Well, I’m going to go,” said Brian. “Good luck changing that dirty diaper.” “I’ll just change her and then we can get back to kissing,” she said. “I’m not touching you after you’ve touched a messy diaper,” he said. “I’ll see you when you don’t have babysitting duty. Oh. Shower first too.” She scowled at Brian as he went out the door. When the door shut, she helped me to my feet. “You do realize,” she said, “that you kept me from losing my virginity. I hope you didn’t make me lose Brian because he and I are going to get it on.” She pulled me to the guest bedroom and laid me on the floor for the second diaper change of the night. However, as soon as she opened my diaper, it became clear that she was unprepared for what she needed to do. At first she just stared at me lying on the open diaper. Then she thought to grab some wipes and tried to clean me. Then she looked at her hand and gagged. It looked like her eyes were watering and she got a panicked look on her face before running into the bathroom. I heard puking sounds that went on for quite a few minutes and then I heard the sink running. Soon she returned and then closed the dirty diaper back on me. I was confused. I hoped she wasn’t planning on leaving me like this. Instead, she led me to the bathroom and stripped me naked. Then she sat me in the tub, before undressing herself. She then got in with me and started the shower. The water ran down and washed the mess away in brown rivulets. I noticed Lillie was careful to stand away from me as she directed the nozzle of the shower toward my diaper area. Once we were both clean, she laid me down and diapered me and then got a new outfit to put on. I smiled until she came back. I had not only ruined her night with the boyfriend, but I also managed to make her throw up. However, I didn’t realize that she would have her revenge on me. “Well, since it is just us girls,” she said, “let’s watch a movie.” She led me back to the living room. I sat on the couch while she put in a DVD. “I’ll get you caught up on the Twilight movies,” she said. By the end of the night she made me watch the three Twilight movies she had. I don’t know which was more annoying: the movie or the squeeing when one of the characters took off his shirt. Chapter Eleven: The Weekend By the third movie, I was started to nod off. There are only so many ways that you can present the same love triangle and keep the audience interested, especially if the girl in question is a flake. I was already wet before the first movie, but at the end of the third I was ready to leak. I didn’t really know how to get Lillie’s attention, so raptured by the movie she was, but I had to do something. I was sitting beside her on the couch, so I turned and squeezed a bit closer to her so my diaper was right up against her and put my head on the arm of the couch. She put her hand on my hip to push me away, and that squeezed a bit of pee out. “Eww,” she said. She got up and pulled me off the couch. There was a wet spot the size of a quarter on the leg of her jeans and there was a larger spot on the couch. “Let’s get you changed,” she said. She grabbed the remote and hit pause and then took me by the hand to the bedroom. As we walked up the stairs to the bedroom, pee leaked out with each step. None got on the carpet, but wet drops were running down my legs. Violet never let it get this bad, but I could talk to Violet and I couldn’t talk to Lillie. She laid me on the floor and started to change me. She opened the diaper and looked inside. “Well, I’m glad you can’t talk,” she said. “It’s my own fault I let you get this wet.” She took a baby wipe and started to clean me. “I hope I didn’t let you sit it your wet diaper long enough to get a rash.” She continued to clean me and then she got some Desitin and started to smear it on me. She smeared the stuff everywhere and rubbed it in a little too thoroughly. Violet always brushed it on lightly with a baby wipe. Lillie used her fingers. I had to close my eyes and concentrate to sit still and not squirm from the stimulation until she finally finished. Her hands were white and she tried to wipe them on a babywipe but it really didn’t wipe it completely off. She then closed my diaper and sat me up. “Well it is time to get ready for bed anyway,” she said. “Let’s go to the bathroom and get our teeth brushed.” I followed her and then she sat me on the closed toilet seat while she scrubbed her hands. It took her about five minutes and then she returned her attention to me. “So Beth,” she said, “will you be good for me while I brush your teeth?” She picked up my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it and ran some water on the toothpaste. I guessed she intended on brushing my teeth for me. Violet never did that, but it made sense that if I was really an idiot after getting my head bashed in, I would need some help in that area. I opened up my mouth and let her. It’s a weird feeling when someone is helping you brush your teeth and I really didn’t like it. She held my head immobile with her left hand and brushed with the right. She stopped from time to time to let me spit, but I gagged when she went too far back with the tooth brush. Finally that ordeal was over and any chance of the bad mood I was in from that humiliating tortuous night was over. “Well, I’ll put you to bed,” she said. She led me into the guest bedroom and then physically tucked me in bed. She then took out a book. “You want a story?” I was in a panic. I didn’t want to have to read another sparkly vampire book. I gave a yawn, but it didn’t do me any good. She started to read. About the second paragraph, I was beginning to like the story. Not a sparkly vampire in sight. I glanced over at the cover. Suzanne Collins, a different author. She read me the entire first chapter and then stopped. The worst part was, it was a cliffhanger chapter and I was hooked. She took the book with her, left the nightstand lamp on and left the room. I did wonder what happened in the book, but I was too exhausted from my ordeal to sneak out and get the book to finish. Instead I turned off the lamp, rolled over, and tried to go to sleep. All I did was toss and turn. The bed was comfortable enough, but I had to lay in the center and I felt like I was going to fall out. I shouldn’t have. I slept in a full bed before and even shared it with Peter. In college I slept in a twin bed. However since I lived with Violet, I had slept in that crib. I slept on my side in an almost fetal position, and liked the padding of the crib bumper against my butt. There was no comfort and safety of the crib railings either. The bed had clearance on both sides, and I did not like that. When I slept in Peter’s bed, my side was against the wall and I had that safety. My dormroom bed, and even my childhood bed was against the wall as well and I slept with my back to the wall then too. I did not like this situation and all I did was toss and turn. I realized that I was stupid. I was an adult and not a baby, despite how I was treated and despite the fact that I was reduced to peeing and pooping myself in diapers and up until today, sleeping in a crib. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. I rolled onto my back and flooded my diaper and then rolled back to my side. I thought back to how Peter treated me, even though I was a dream of lots of guys. Back then, I dressed like a stripper in lacy negligees or teddies. However when I didn’t live up to Peter’s ideal or he was just in a bad mood, I was his punching bag. As Violet’s baby, I was treated gently. Even when I was being bad, like with my temper tantrum on the way home from Mrs. Luther’s house after the first time I messed my diaper, or even by disrupting Lillie’s makeout session with her boyfriend, I was never beaten. Allowing myself to be treated like a baby made Violet happy and even though Jeff was embarrassed by the whole diaper thing, he was gentle to me since I was in diapers. I tossed and turned until the clock on the wall said 3:30 and somehow fell asleep. ### Morning came. Usually the sun shining through the curtains woke me. It was easy to get up early when I was put to bed before eight, but I didn’t get put in bed until after twelve. This morning, I woke as Lillie shook me awake. “Time to get up sleepyhead,” she said. She pulled me to a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then brushed her hand against the sheets where I had been lying. “Ah good, no leaks. Now let’s get you a bath so we can go to the mall.” I groaned inwardly. I didn’t want to go to the mall. I was going to report her to Violet for this though. I let her get me up and pull me by the hand to the bathroom where she stripped me naked and lowered me into the tub. I frowned, but I really had no choice. For one, I couldn’t say anything, and secondly, I needed a bath to wash the pee off me. As safe as a wet diaper made me feel, I hated the feeling after sitting in it for hours. The soapy water relaxed my muscles since they were so tense from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. I lay back in the water and let Lillie do all the work of cleaning me. After the bath, though, Lillie took me to the guest room where she dressed me. I was diapered and then she went to my closet and looked through my clothes. She chose a pink denim skirt and a yellow t-shirt. I frowned when I saw her selections and noticed she didn’t choose stockings to go with the skirt. I had no choice but to let her dress me like that. She dressed me in the skirt and the t-shirt and I looked in the mirror with horror as I noticed the skirt only came down to mid thigh. I would have to be extremely careful if I didn’t want my diaper to show and being careful wasn’t exactly what a mentally disabled girl normally did. I could pull something like this outfit off if I were wearing panties and be confident of not flashing them, but the skirt hung a bit different with a diaper on. I tried to make the best of it though. We went out to the car and I got in the passenger seat where she strapped me in. She then drove to the mall, or so I thought. Instead of the mall we stopped at the medical supply store where I first got my diapers. Lillie guided me inside. When we got inside, I looked around. There was still the whole warehouse feel to the place. Shelves went clear to the ceiling. There were still the creepy endcap displays of weird medical devices, but that wasn’t the worse part. Carlos, the worker that I had a crush on, was there. He smiled at me when he saw me. “How are you doing, Beth? Can you talk now?” My knees felt weak and I wanted to fall into his arms. I couldn’t do that, but I did look at him and smile. “Well, you look like you’re making progress. I didn’t get a smile last time.” Lillie ruined the reunion. “I need to get some adult diapers. There should be an account under the name Violet Green that you can charge to.” Carlos tapped a few keys. “Yes, I see it. What kind of adult diapers do you need? We have over twenty varieties.” “I don’t know.” She pulled my skirt up, flashing my diaper at Carlos. “This kind.” I pushed my skirt down. “Hey,” I said offended that Lillie showed off my diaper to a hunk like Carlos. Carlos and Lillie stared at me. Carlos came from around the counter and took my hand. “Did you just talk, Beth?” I had blown my cover. Chapter Twelve: I’m Getting Better My cover was blown because I reacted to Lillie exposing my diaper. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about trying to explain why I was in this situation, but how would I tell a hunk like Carlos that I allowed myself to be regressed and babied to make Violet feel better. Well, I was threatened last time Carlos saw me, but he didn’t need to know that. He held both my hands in his and I just wanted to melt. I wanted to explain, but I knew whatever I said, he would probably think I was a freak. “Beth, it’s okay to talk. Go ahead.” I didn’t say anything but just stared into his eyes as I wet my pants. I had to pee since I woke up, but didn’t have a chance before Lillie had me dressed and I had even considered wetting in the car. The shock of being discovered made me relax my bladder. “Is she getting better?” asked Lillie. “I don’t know,” Carlos said. “You need to tell Violet that she talked, so she can tell Beth’s doctor. The brain is funny. She could fully recover or only relearn bits and pieces.” “Well that will be nice if she recovers. I have been reading books to her,” said Lillie. She was obviously trying to take credit for the word I let slip out and I was afraid the vampire fiction would continue, but it was possible that she had shifted to the Hunger Games series since I had taken in all the Twilight stuff she had forced me to watch. “Reading to her might be nice,” said Carlos. “Now let’s get Beth her diapers. Do you have her diaper bag?” He gently patted my head. “I think it distressed her when you raised her skirt in front of me. Maybe we can look in there for a spare diaper.” Lillie left me in the care of Carlos and went to the car for my diaper bag. I was so embarrassed that I almost completely missed the fact that I had gotten away with my slipped word. However, I would be expected to start to get a little better. I was also glad that Carlos tried to spare my feelings by keeping me from being exposed. However, I would soon be embarrassed again. Lillie came back with my diaper bag in hand. She looked at Carlos and frowned. “I think I put her last diaper on her this morning. I don’t have any extra to show you.” I wanted to shake my head or run out of there. I just put my hands at my sides and held my skirt down. Carlos smiled at me and put one hand on my shoulder. “I don’t have to see your diaper Beth. I can get Lillie to help us out.” “She won’t know the difference if you just take a peek?” said Lillie. She reached for the hem of my skirt, but Carlos stopped her. He opened a cupboard and pulled out a few varieties of adult diapers. I never knew there were so many. He then asked Lillie to identify the one I was wearing. She looked the diapers over and pointed to one. “I didn’t know they made purple adult diapers.” She sighed and then shrugged. “Hers are white, but you have a lot of white diapers here. I just know hers are peach on the inside.” “Oh, you must mean these.” He handed her an ATN diaper like the one I had on. Again I didn’t dare ask what ATN stood for. He opened it up for her to see the peach color on the inside. “Those are them,” she said, “although I kind of wish we could try the purple ones on her.” “Well, they kind of cost more,” he said. “Well let’s get a case of her regular diapers and put it on Violet’s account. I will just give you the money for a pack of the purple diapers.” She smiled. “If Violet likes these, she may want to switch her.” Carlos rang up the sale. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. My heart beat heavily in my chest and I imagined myself in his arms. He was so gentle to me so far and I really liked him. Of course that was because I was in diapers. I made too many mistakes in relationships to be able to do my part. I never measured up to Peter’s standards. Besides, the point was moot. I was standing in a wet diaper and he knew I was diapered, so I probably didn’t even show up on his radar for potential dates. He carried the diapers to Lillie’s car and I walked out after him, my hand tightly held by Lillie. After saying goodbye, Lillie buckled me into the passenger seat and we were off to the mall. If I knew how embarrassing this mall visit was going to be, I would have thrown a fit until Lillie took me home, not that it would have done me any good. ### The two of us entered the mall by the food court and Lillie sat me down for a snack. Of course she went straight for McDonalds. I sat in the chair in front a big diaper bag at my place at the table and brooded while she ordered. I thought about wandering off and enjoying the mall by myself, while she ran around panicked and looking for me, but I was really wet and after the events at the medical supply store, it would cause suspicion when I was found if I took the diaper bag with me, or better yet, changed out of the diaper in the bathroom and went without any underwear. Lillie returned later with two happy meals. She put a four piece McNuggets and a small fry in front of me and put her one McNuggets and fries in front of her. She peeled open some sweet and sour sauce and started to eat. I grabbed a ketchup packet so I could eat my fries, and she snatched it away from me. “No, Beth,” she said, “you’ll make a mess. Let me do it for you.” She opened the ketchup and squeezed it into the lid of my McNuggets box. Hiding my mental capabilities was starting to be a pain in the ass and in more ways than one. My rashy butt from her last late change was still bothering me and being wet didn’t help. However, all I could do was sit there and eat my food. I noticed that McNuggets do not taste good without sauce. Ketchup didn’t make them taste much better. The sign on the McDonalds had an advertisement for the next toy and I was excited that they had Star Wars light sabers, but when I reached in the bag for toy, it was only a Build a Bear stuffed bear. Why did Lillie have to get the girl’s toy when there was Star Wars? At least Lillie didn’t try to wrest that from me. I tucked the unopened toy in the pocket of my diaper bag, determined to exchange it for a light saber at the first opportunity I could get away. We ate the meal and then Lillie opened her bear toy and played with it in front of me. She looked in my bag and frowned when she didn’t see it, but she only shrugged. She made the bear dance and looked at me. “Why aren’t you smiling? You smiled for Carlos. Can’t you smile for me?” She danced the bear in front of me and started singing a little tune. I finally gave in and smiled because if I didn’t, I think we would have sat there all day. We finally got up and as I stood I allowed myself to pee again. However, I stopped as soon as I felt how saturated the diaper was. If I had wet any more, I think I would have leaked right in the middle of the food court. I took her hand and pulled her toward the bathroom. “Wait,” said Lillie. “The stores are this way.” She sighed. “Well now that we are by the bathrooms, I kind of got to pee. You are lucky you don’t have to deal with that anymore.” I wanted to scream. How could a baby sitter who knew I was in diapers be so dense as to not know to check my diaper? Still oblivious to my need for a change, she pulled me into a stall and used the toilet. It was too much. I grabbed the back of my skirt, and made sure it wouldn’t get pee on it when I leaked into my diapers and I just relaxed and further wet my diaper. Pretty soon, a few drops of pee escaped the leak barriers and ran down my legs, making a tiny yellow puddle between my feet. She gasped and pulled up my skirt to my chest. “Don’t worry. I’ll change you as soon as I am done. The only time I babysat someone who was still in diapers, they cried when they were wet. You don’t really do that. I wonder how Violet knows when you are wet.” She finished using the toilet, and then got cleaned up and dressed. She then took me by the hand to the baby change table and tried to get me to get up on it. Giving up, she took me to the stall and ripped my diaper off me. She frowned when she saw my rash was worse, but she didn’t bother to do much about my skin except wipe me with baby wipes. She then opened out a diaper and tried to change me standing up. It took forever, and when she finished, my diaper was high in the front and low in the back and it was also on crooked. However, I had peed already and knew I could hold it long enough to make it home soon. Soon we left the bathroom and went out into the mall. There were a lot of stores that Lillie just ignored. She didn’t take me into the book store or even the video game store. We only stopped at Abercrombie and Hollister before stopping at Hot Topic. She didn’t buy anything, but she tried on nine outfits in Hollister. However, the clerk at Abercrombie wouldn’t let us go in the fitting room together, so we had to leave. That left us at Hot Topic. I used to like Hot Topic. Aside from my grunge attire from thrift stores, I liked to wear vintage or insulting t-shirts. Hot Topic had that kind of stuff. However, Hot Topic had changed. There were a whole lot of Twilight shirts. Of course Lillie squeed when she saw each one. She grabbed a shirt that said, “I drive like a Cullen,” and another that had a picture of Edward on it and went to the checkout stand. “Hi,” she said. She actually winked at the clerk. He smiled back. “Hi, Lillie.” I looked at the clerk again. It was Lillie’s boyfriend Brian. “I kind of missed you last night,” she said. “I had to sleep in Jeff and Violet’s king size bed and it was too much bed for me by myself.” He looked at me. “Well, I was kind of grossed out. I almost gagged.” “Well you didn’t have to change her,” she said. “I threw up for over twenty minutes. Believe me, I took a shower and changed clothes right away.” “So what brings you here?” he asked. “I need these t-shirts,” she answered. She put the shirts on the counter. “New policy. We can’t check out family or friends.” He turned to another clerk. “Jazz, can you please ring up my girlfriend?” Jazz had closely cropped pink hair. Her hair was even shorter than Brian’s. Actually, besides being pink, her hair looked the same as mine. She had metal all over her face. There were about five pairs of earrings, a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, and even a ring where her cheekbone was. She took the Twilight shirts and rang them up. “That will be $43.29.” Lillie handed her money and then took the bag from Jazz. “Thanks,” she muttered. “Are you one of those Twi-hards too,” she asked me. I almost shook my head. However, I caught myself in time. Brian spoke up. “She’s the handicapped girl that Lillie is watching this weekend. I told you about what happened.” “Oh, her,” she said. “Brian, if you weren’t so allergic to responsibility, you would make it far in this world. You held yourself back.” She flashed a smile at Lillie. “I got to keep cracking the whip all the time when I am working with him. Now Brian has a lot of work to do without a girlfriend to distract him.” Lillie frowned, probably because Jazz dismissed her. We walked out the door together. Lillie clutched the diaper bag strap against her shoulder and held her bag with her purchases in the other hand. I just followed. I was humiliated. Did everyone we ran into today have to know I was diapered. She gave me a tug and I felt a tape pop on my diaper. That was all I needed. If I peed, I would leak, and I was grateful I had peed everything out less than an hour ago on the bathroom floor. “Well, I’m ready to leave,” she said. “Let’s go back to the car and I will take you home.” At least it was over. Hopefully we could sit around at home until Violet and Jeff returned. However, we barely got across the mall when a hand shoved me at my shoulder. “Beth, you bitch.” Chapter Thirteen: The Roommate I looked up at the girl who called me out. “Sylvia--,” I started and immediately shut up before blowing my cover again. I usually answered, “Sylvia, you slut,” when I greeted my former college roommate, but I couldn’t this time. Besides, I didn’t want Sylvia to see me and know what I was doing. She was my best friend and I was afraid she would think I was a weirdo. I couldn’t just stand their quietly, but I couldn’t talk in front of Lillie. Lillie however pulled me behind her and stood between me and Sylvia. “Who are you calling a bitch, bitch? Don’t you know better than to make fun of disabled people?” She made fists and shook them at Sylvia like she was going to fight. “Relax,” said Sylvia. “Beth’s my friend.” She looked back at me. “I hardly recognized you. You cut your hair.” I smiled weakly. I hoped my hair was all she noticed. Lillie lowered her fists a bit, but she wasn’t done talking. “Beth can’t talk to you,” she said. She looked at me again. “Are you still mad at me about that argument we had? That was two years ago.” As roommates we got along all the time, except when it came to Peter. Sylvia hated Peter. She always told me he was bad news. When I moved out of the dorm to move in with Peter she was livid. She screamed and yelled at me and she wouldn’t even help me pack. “He already gave you a black eye once,” she had said. “He’s going to keep hitting you. Please don’t move in with him.” I had slammed the door in her face. “You don’t understand,” said Lillie. “Beth can’t talk to anyone. She fell off a balcony at her sorority and hit her head. She suffered brain damage.” “Beth wasn’t in a sorority.” She looked at me. “Peter did this to you, didn’t he? I’m not letting you go back to him.” “Who’s Peter?” asked Lillie. “And who are you?” “I’m taking care of Beth while her aunt and uncle are out of town.” My story was falling apart. Why couldn’t Sylvia be quiet? Next she would probably say that I had no aunts or uncles. I had to do something and that meant breaking my silence. Lillie, was there, so I would have to break my silence silently. Fortunately, Sylvia was deaf, and even though she was good at reading lips, I tried to learn sign language to be able to talk to her. <Shut up or you’ll blow my cover,> I signed. Sylvia stared at me and shrugged. <Long story. I’m going to give you a hug. Just slip you number in my pocket and I will explain everything tonight.> I moved forward and gave her a hug. She hugged me back, and then I felt her hand brush my butt. There was a slight crinkle and she got a confused expression on her face. I didn’t want her to know about the diapers. However, before I could say or do anything, Lillie took my hand. “I got to take her home.” She squeezed my hand for emphasis. “She’s not still living with Peter, is she?” asked Sylvia. “I don’t know any Peter,” Lillie answered. “I don’t like you either.” As she pulled away, I reached into my back pocket with my free hand and pulled out a business card with Sylvia’s number. I put it back in my pocket knowing I would have to call her that night and I would have to do it after Lillie went to bed. Chapter Fourteen: I Know it’s Gross When Lilly finally got me home, my diaper was wet. It wasn’t too wet, but I really had to pee and I was afraid I would leak through the diaper that she had so poorly put me into. She took me inside and immediately laid me on the living room floor. I lay down there as she took my diaper and got everything laid out for my change. She lifted my skirt up and then undid the diaper. “Oh, I wish I could have changed you sooner, Beth. Your rash is a bit worse.” I could only just lay there as she changed me although I wanted to dress her down for how bad a job she did at babysitting me. However, she didn’t suspect a thing, although I thought she would have to be really stupid to think I wasn’t faking it. She began to rub the rash cream on my diaper area and I had to grit my teeth in order to not cry out. I am definitely not into girls, but it takes a lot of control not to squirm when being rubbed down there. I wondered how she could be oblivious to that fact, but I really needed diaper rash cream today, and then soon it was over. “There,” she said and closed and taped my diaper. I sat up and crawled over to the couch and took my seat. She turned on the TV for me and left it on the Cartoon Network, which gave me a chance to relax for the first time that day. I didn’t even notice when she went to her car until I saw the cases of diapers in the living room. A lone pack of purple Molicare diapers sat on top of the cases of my regular diapers. I wondered how long it would be until Lillie tried one of the purple diapers on me. She was excited about them the first time she saw them and I knew it would be a matter of time. However, they just sat there ignored as we sat together on the couch and watched movies. Thankfully they weren’t Twilight, but they weren’t movies I would have chosen. After the last movie, Lilly looked at her cell phone. “It’s already nine,” she said. “How about I get you to bed? I’m a bit tired, so I’ll be going to bed myself too.” I let her lead me to the guest room where I lay on the floor for my diaper change. Once in a clean diaper, she tucked me in and read another chapter of the story she had read me the night before. I listened with rapt attention and by the end of the second chapter; I realized that I wanted to know what happened next. However, it was soon over and she flipped on the baby monitor and left me lying in bed. I lay very still while I listened and it seemed like Lillie was in Violet’s bedroom. It was my chance now. Slowly and quietly, I crept to the door, but then I remembered that the door made sounds when it opened and I glance back at the baby monitor. That was going to be a problem unless... My eyes followed the power cord to where it was plugged into the wall. I merely had to pull the plug and now I could make noises. I opened my closet and went through the laundry and got Sylvia’s card. I then opened the door and then crept down the hall. Sure enough, there was a light under the door to Jeff and Violets room and I could hear the shower running in the master bathroom. I was safe. I went down the stairs and then saw my book on the end table. I scooped it up and went into Jeff’s office. The office was surrounded by book cases on all the walls. A love seat sat in the center of the room. A desk was in front of the couch. It was a strange arrangement, but I guess Jeff just liked to be comfortable when working or reading. I sat in the loveseat and opened the center desk drawer. Inside was a plain flipphone. Nothing was special about it, but it could dial a number. I grabbed the card which I tucked into the waistband of my diaper and dialed Sylvia’s number. It rang and then I heard someone answer. “Hey Sylvia, you slut,” I said. “Hold on,” said Sylvia. “I can’t hear anything. I got to turn on my cochlear implant.” There was no talking but I could hear movement. Finally she spoke. “Hi Beth. Now you got to tell me what is going on with you.” “Well, it’s kind of a long story,” I said. As an afterthought, I added, “You can hear me? I suppose I could text.” “I can hear you,” she said. “My implant’s behaving so far.” “Good,” I said. I didn’t know how much I wanted to tell her but I really wanted to stall. “Beth, I haven’t seen you in forever. I barely recognized you with your hair cut so short and you were wearing way different clothes. You stopped dying it black. What happened to the grunge look?” “Peter threw all that stuff away,” I said. If she had grown up hearing, she probably would have said, “Beth,” in a scolding tone. “You probably let him change who you are. I’m surprised he didn’t have you dressed like a stripper.” “Well,” I said. “Well, what?” “Well, I only was allowed to wear lingerie when I lived with Peter. However I don’t live with Peter anymore.” “Who are you living with now? And who was that strange girl?” “Well, I live with a nice couple now. No one hits me anymore.” “Well I’m glad you are not getting beaten,” said Sylvia. “I wonder why you let Peter do that to you. How badly did he hurt you? That girl said you were brain damaged.” “Two broken arms and a bad cut to the head,” I said. “I know, but Peter was really drunk and he found out I was going to leave. He then stole the car my mother gave me to escape him and he totaled it and got himself killed.” “Peter’s dead?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “I’m glad he died,” said Sylvia. “So how did you move in with this couple?” “Well I met them in court. Peter managed to run into the woman and she had a miscarriage. I lost in court and have to pay her restitution, but I didn’t have a job or money, so I just work for her.” “What do you do for her, Beth?” “Well,” I started. I didn’t want to tell her about the diapers and playing baby. “That story doesn’t make sense,” said Sylvia. “What do you do for her? You got to do something besides go shopping with that silly teenager then.” I thought for a minute. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you got to promise not to laugh at me or condemn me.” “Beth, I promise.” “Okay,” I said. “I’m Violet’s baby.” “What do you mean that you are Violet’s baby?” “Violet was depressed after her miscarriage and I let her care for me as if I was a baby. I sleep in a crib and she dresses me and takes care of me. It makes her feel better.” “Is that why you were wearing a diaper?” asked Sylvia. “What?” I asked. I was definitely going to deny that. “I was not.” “I felt it through your skirt when I passed you the note,” she said. “Fine,” I said. “Violet makes me wear diapers. I am her baby.” “Beth, you know that is kind of gross. Do you have to use them?” “I know it’s gross, but it’s not so bad unless I have to go number two.” “Beth, it’s wrong how you are being treated. I am driving to where you are at and picking you up.” “No, you promised not to condemn. Besides, if I don’t work for Violet, I have to find another way to earn the money for restitution. I don’t really have a work history for the last two years, so getting a job will be difficult. Otherwise, I will go to jail. I am kind of enjoying not being beaten.” “Beth, you shouldn’t have to be humiliated. That teenager was dragging you around the mall in a diaper and telling me, a complete stranger to her, that you were brain damaged.” “Well, that wasn’t planned. My cover is that I fell off a balcony at my sorority house and suffered brain damage, so I have the mind of a toddler and need to wear diapers. When Jeff and Violet were going on their anniversary this weekend, Lillie’s aunt gave them Lillie’s services as a baby sitter. She is behaving rather irresponsibly, but she thinks I can’t talk. Jeff and Violet were originally going to give me run of the house, but they couldn’t turn down an offer of a babysitter, because who would leave a girl with the mind of a toddler by herself?” “Beth, slow down. My implant can’t process when you are talking so fast.” “Sorry.” I slowly explained to her Lillie’s role and she did seem satisfied. “Still, I don’t like this situation,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to give up using the toilet. That is kind of gross.” “I know it is gross, but I don’t really mind. No one hits babies in diapers and no one has hit me since I started wearing them.” “Beth, I care about you,” said Sylvia. “You don’t need to live like that. I have a great job and a two bedroom apartment by the university. You can move in with me rent free while you finish your degree and you won’t have to live like this.” “I can’t,” I said. “My probation won’t let me.” “Well, I want to talk to you again Beth,” said Sylvia. Suddenly I heard a sound out in the living room. “Beth, where are you?” called Lillie. “I got to go. Call you back later.” I folded the phone and stuck it in the desk draw just as Lillie walked in. “Oh there you are, Beth. I was worried when I found you weren’t in bed. The baby monitor wasn’t working. Besides, you aren’t supposed to be in here.” She took my hand and led me back into the guest bedroom. As we passed my new diapers I noticed the bag of purple diapers was missing. Chapter Fifteen: I Want My Mommy It was Sunday. Lillie slept most of the morning, but she came in my room around eleven to get me a bath. I heard her walking down the hall and immediately tried to wet. However I didn’t have to go as I was already wet. I didn’t usually wake up in a wet diaper and I didn’t remember wetting since my last diaper change the night before. I shrugged and let Lillie help me out of the bed and then walked with her to the bathroom. She pulled the wet diaper off of me and then sat me down in the tub. She then handed me a toy boat and she began to scrub me as if I were a baby. Of course she wasn’t as gentle as Violet. If anything, she scrubbed me too hard and she paid a little more attention than was necessary to my diaper area. “That rash is starting to heal,” she said as she scrubbed my bottom. “Still, I want it to be gone before Jeff and Violet return tomorrow night.” Tomorrow night? They were supposed to be gone only for the weekend. Was it a three-day weekend? I tried to think about the date, but I couldn’t remember. I had spent quite a while with Jeff and Violet but I didn’t know how much of my probation was left. I thought I had been with Violet for a few months, long enough to get used to the diapers, but I haven’t thought it’d been long enough for me to forget the date. I wondered how much time I had left and then what I would do when I no longer have to wear diapers and live with Jeff and Violet. “Beth, let’s get you nice and dry, and I will put you in a nice clean diaper.” She smiled at me and helped me up out of the bath. The towel she dried me with was nice and fluffy and in no time she dried me and put the towel on the floor for me to lie on while she got me in a fresh diaper. “I’m going to try one of these purple diapers on you. They feel really soft and you can wet two or three times before you need to be changed.” She unfolded the diaper and put it under me and then rubbed Desitin and powder on me. I tried my best to keep from squirming as she rubbed it into me, but I couldn’t help myself. “Stop wiggling,” she said. “I got to get this cream on you or Violet will think I’m not keeping good care of you.” At least she didn’t realize I was getting turned on. I closed my eyes until it was over. “Now I am going to powder you.” She shook baby powder on me and then closed my diaper. Then she frowned and looked at her hands. “Ick,” she said. She stood up and began to scrub her hands in the sink. “This stuff is really sticky.” She scrubbed for about five minutes while I lay on my back with an untaped diaper under me. Finally when she was done, she knelt down and taped up the four tapes. “There, all done.” She pulled me to my feet and we went down stairs to the living room. She sat me in front of the TV and then turned it on to a children’s channel. She and I sat together and watched TV for a little bit. The show was Rugrats. Did she think I was an actual baby instead of some poor unfortunate college girl? I rolled my eyes at such a juvenile TV show. However, Lillie was giggling at every joke. It was really ridiculous. After the show ended, she got up and went up to Violet’s room. I grabbed the remote and flipped thought the channels until I found a western. My father had always watched westerns on Sunday afternoons, so I knew them all. It was one of my favorites. I really liked Clint Eastwood a lot. I sat on the couch and relaxed, wetting my diaper whenever I had to go. Lillie left me alone for over two hours. At the last two thirds of the movie, the North and the South shot cannons at each other while trying take over a bridge. Lille called down to me. “Beth, are you all right?” I turned the volume down lower but then I heard Lillie shuffling around upstairs. I thought nothing of it and just continued watching the movie. It was toward the end and the heroes had crossed the bridge to get the gold. However, Lillie stormed down the stairs after about five minutes and she wasn’t too happy. She took the remote from my hand. “Don’t play with the remote Beth. You’ll miss your show.” She turned the station back to the children’s channel and pointed me toward the TV. “I was all comfortable. Just relax.” I sat there and watched a kid’s show about a talking train. I hate anthropomorphic vehicles. They just bother me. It was all I could stand to watch Knight Rider reruns. At least Kitt didn’t have a face. Thomas and Percy did. If Lillie wasn’t there I would have turned the channel to see whether Blondie, Tuco, or Angel Eyes ended up with the gold. Instead I was stuck watching talking trains. After the train show, Lillie made an actual attempt to cook for me. She actually found a can of Spaghettios. Violet might feed me baby food, but that was because it helped her cope with her miscarriage. Lillie, was just a lazy teenager who was given a task beyond her abilities. Unless actual kids lived on Spaghettios, tomato soup, Mac and Cheese, and cheese sandwiches. That was all she cooked for my meals. In the mall I had to eat a Happy meal. When she was done cooking, she came out of the kitchen and took me by the hand and steered me toward my place at the table. She shoved a bowl in front of me. “Now this is messy, so let me help you,” she said. She took one of my bibs and tied it around my neck. I can’t believe that Violet showed her the bibs, but I suppose that a brain damaged adult would need a bib. She then took the spoon and fed me. I tried my best to cooperate, but ended up with tomato sauce on both my face and my bib. I really was a baby. I relaxed and allowed myself to wet my diaper. Lillie looked down at my crotch and then stuck a finger in the leg. I jumped. “You sure are wet. Let’s finish dinner and we can get you changed.” I looked at her for an instant, thinking that she was going to feed me with the same hand that touched my peed in diaper, but she got up and rinsed her hands in the sink. I finished the last of my food. When she changed me, she put me in my normal diapers. Apparently the purple diapers were not good enough. They were thicker and kept me dryer than the ATN diapers and I might ask Violet about them, but Lillie must not have liked them since she gave up after me using only one diaper. At least I was clean. ### The weekend with Lillie was long. Monday included a picnic in the park, fortunately without a public diaper change. In the late afternoon we returned to the house. Upon entering, I was immediately sat in front of the TV and then Lillie disappeared. I had no idea what Lillie was doing, but she was running around the whole house. She ran down stairs twice to get grocery bags and then I saw her running around the house. I got up and went upstairs and saw her go to Violet’s room, so I just went into the guest room and sat on the bed. I smiled when Lillie came into the room with a grocery bag full of diapers. She started feeding them into the diaper genie. She didn’t even notice me sitting on the bed. I thought it strange that more than one of the used diapers were purple, but maybe she didn’t use more purple diapers on me because they were damaged easily. She loaded the diapers in the genie and then turned around and saw me sitting there. She jumped when she saw me. “Beth, you scared me.” Her face turned pink. “I was just throwing your dirty diapers away.” She opened the diaper genie and threw the whole chain of diapers in a garbage bag. She then walked around the house gathering all the household trash. Afterwards, she went into Violet’s room again and shuffled through a bunch of stuff. She walked out with her bag in her right hand and the half bag of purple diapers. Was she throwing them out as worthless? I ran to the other room and looked out the window. She put the diapers in the trunk of her car along with her overnight bag. I shrugged. She did pay for the things herself. She was certainly free to take the unused ones home with her, but I didn’t know what she planned on doing with them. I don’t know how half of them were soiled. I really didn’t look every time she changed me. Maybe I had worn them, but I didn’t think I had wet five of them. I returned to the living room and sat on the floor and played with toys until she returned from the car. The second she returned from the car she checked my diaper. “I hope you’re not too rashy,” she said. “I don’t want Violet thinking I didn’t take care of you.” I ignored her and continued to pretend to play with the toys. Lillie, on the other hand, sat on the couch and bounced her leg nervously. She was in a panic. She was worried about how Violet would react to her treatment of me. I decided I would give Lillie something else to think about when Violet returned. I really had to poop and I was holding it because I didn’t want it to happen someplace embarrassing. I actually didn’t want it to happen at all, but I had learned that pooping in a diaper was inevitable. I waited until I saw Jeff and Violet’s car driving toward the house and then I pushed the mess in my diaper. I sat and continued stacking the blocks. Lillie noticed right away and she also noticed that Jeff and Violet just had pulled into the driveway. She got a deer-in-headlights look in her eyes and I knew she wanted me in a clean diaper when Violet entered. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up the stairs to the bathroom. Quickly, she lay me down and opened my diaper and then looked at what she had to deal with. “Why now, Beth? Couldn’t you have waited just ten more minutes?” I heard the door open. “We’re home,” said Violet. “We’re up here,” called Lillie. Violet and Jeff came up the stairs and then Jeff saw me in my messy and open diaper. He turned away and left. Lillie frowned and then began to wipe me clean. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what she was doing as Violet watched her changed me. “She just pooped now. I was going to make sure she was clean when you came back. Sorry.” Violet smiled. “It’s not easy to predict that,” she said. “Go on and change her and I will get your babysitting money.” “Thanks,” said Lillie. She returned to the task of cleaning me. However, she had to go to the toilet a couple times to throw up before she had me wiped clean. She had just finished and had me in a clean diaper when Violet returned. “Here is your money?” said Violet. “Did you have any expenses?” “I bought her a Happy Meal,” she said. “That was only $3.79.” Violet handed her four more dollars. She put the money in her pocket and then helped me to my feet. Then she helped me with my pants. I went to Violet and put my arms tightly around her waist. “I guess she really missed you,” said Lillie. “She hasn’t been away from us since she came here,” said Violet. “Oh, and she talked.” Violet looked surprised and then glared at me. “Yeah, she said a word in the medical supply store. The guy said it was a sign that she might get better. He didn’t guarantee anything though.” Violet smiled at me. I didn’t blow my cover even though it was an excruciating weekend. “We hope for the best,” said Violet. ### As soon as Lillie left the house, I looked at Violet. “May I please have a bath?” “You can wait until bedtime,” said Violet. “I know you messed yourself when you did to make Lillie panic.” I wondered how Violet knew. “Besides, what was this about talking?” “I’m sorry. She put me in a skirt and took me to the medical supply store to get diapers. When Carlos asked her what kind of diapers I wore, she flipped up my skirt and showed him. I just accidently said, ‘Hey.’” I rolled my eyes. “She wasn’t exactly discrete about my condition.” “Be careful about your cover in case we need to hire Lillie as a babysitter again.” “No way,” I said. “Anyone but her.” “Was she that bad?” I told her everything. “Well, go relax and I will make dinner.” I left the room and went down to Jeff’s office to retrieve my book and get the ending read. When I entered, Jeff was sitting on the couch behind the desk. “I’m sorry you had to see me as disgusting as I was,” I said. “What?” “During my diaper change.” “It was just awkward. I didn’t mean to see anything.” I picked up the book and sat in one of the chairs. Quickly, I found my place in the book. “So how was the weekend away with Violet?” “It was great. We went to St. Louis and saw the arch and then we stayed in a beautiful hotel room.” “Cool,” I said. I had never had anyone take me somewhere exciting. Peter never took me anywhere. I sat in the chair and read my book and then selected another one. “Is Violet getting a bit better?” “I think so,” he said. “Your willingness to put up with the way she treats you sure helps. I really don’t think it’s healthy for you though. Do you really want this treatment?” “Like you said, it helps Violet.” I smiled. “It’s only for two years.” “Your probation is for two years,” said Jeff. “The court never said you had to stay with us the whole time.” I thought about how Jeff and Violet never beat me. “I like staying with you guys,” I said. “We like having you, Beth. Now go read in the living room. I need to catch up on the mail.” I left the office and went to sit on the living room couch where I curled up with my book. ### I received my much needed bath and was all dressed in my clean diaper and new t-shirt with a picture of the St. Louis arch on it as Violet led me to bed. I walked into the guestroom, but Violet turned my shoulder toward the nursery. “It’s back to the crib for you, Beth,” said Violet. “I need my baby.” I smiled. “I actually missed my crib,” I admitted. “I felt like I was going to fall out of that bed. If I am saddled with another babysitter, please push that bed against the wall.” “I thought we would have an argument,” she said. She took my hand and helped me into the crib. I curled up and let her tuck me in. “Goodnight Beth. I am glad to have my baby back after my trip.” “I missed you too, Mommy.” I finally called her Mommy. It took being stuck with Lillie to really appreciate Violet and I enjoyed being taken care of. Violet looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Calling me Mommy means a lot to me. Thank you.” She turned off my light and closed the door. I lay in the crib several minutes before closing my eyes to go to sleep. I was once again safe in my crib and I had on a clean diaper. There was nothing else I needed. Was I really looking forward to leaving so I could use the toilet? Besides having to mess the occasional diaper or eat the occasional jar of baby food, everything was perfect. All I really was missing was friends. Chapter Sixteen: Mommy’s Illness In the weeks since Jeff and Violet’s weekend away, I had started to let Violet baby me even more. She still bathed me and put me to bed, but I stopped complaining before needing to poop and just kind of pushed it out wherever I was. It was gross, but then again, I was getting used to it, just like I was getting used to peeing. I wondered if pooping would ever stop feeling gross to me. Sitting in a wet diaper actually started to feel good. However, I wanted out of a poopy diaper immediately. I woke up wet for the second day in a row. The first morning, I thought it was just a fluke, but now I was worried. “Mommy,” I said into the baby monitor. “I’m wet.” Violet came to change me, but I still felt worried. What if this was a continual thing? Still, I forgot about the bedwetting when I found out what Violet had in store for me. We were visiting the Luther’s. Mrs. Luther was always kind to me, but I knew I would once again have to face Lillie. I hadn’t seen her since she had babysat three and a half weeks before and today I knew I would have to face her again. I had no idea what horrors I would have to face with her. Violet dressed me in my green corduroy short-alls and I frowned. “I’m not going to the Luther’s like this, Violet,” I said. “You are wearing what I dress you in.” She closed the latches on the bib of the overalls. They were the same type of latches that thwarted my attempt to poop in the potty at Violet’s editor’s office. “But this is the most babyish outfit I have,” I said. Violet gave me a stern look. “And you are my baby, Beth.” She led me down the stairs. “Please don’t make me go to the Luther’s like this, Mommy,” I begged. “We are going to have breakfast before we go anyway,” said Violet. “Do you want canned peas or canned carrots?” There was a mirror over the couch and as we walked down the stairs I saw myself in it. I looked less like a twenty-two-year-old and more like an eleven-year-old. It was awful. Complaining would do no good. Whenever I complained, I got fed baby food instead of adult food. I fake smiled and looked in the mirror. “Actually, I was mistaken about the outfit being too babyish for me. Nothing is too babyish since I rely on my mommy to dress me and even change my diaper.” I looked pleadingly into her eyes. “Will you give me something yummy to eat for breakfast?” Violet gave no indication that she knew I was faking, but she smiled. “I suppose we can have some breakfast tacos.” “Thank you, Mommy,” I said. I picked up my book off the coffee table and followed Violet into the kitchen where I sat at the table. Violet went to the refrigerator and took out some bacon and eggs and started to cook them on the stove. She even warmed up the tortillas on the stove instead of merely microwaving them. I just read my book, while the meal was being cooked. I got through half a scene about how a character named Miri had been caught stowing away on a starship. She was just about to be led to the captain when Violet interrupted my reading. I bookmarked my book and saw that Violet had put a plate in front of me with two breakfast tacos on it. “It’s time to eat,” said Violet. She sat across from me with a similarly loaded plate. The only difference was that she had a glass of orange juice and I had a sippy cup. We prayed and then I took a bite of my breakfast taco. It was pretty good cooking. Even though Jeff and Violet were upper middle class and they ate out often, Violet had a few good recipes. “So will you be able to get along with Lillie today?” she asked. I rolled my eyes, but at the stern look from Violet I nodded. “I know she embarrassed you at the mall and she wasn’t as responsible as I had hoped. However, it will break your cover if I punish her because of that because you really couldn’t have told on her.” I took another bite, swallowed, and then stared. “I don’t like her,” I said. “It will just be for the morning.” “I guess I can deal with it this morning, Mommy, but I can’t handle being babysat by her.” I took a sip from my sippy cup. We ate. Violet smiled at me between bites, until we finished. I sipped down the rest of my orange juice and looked at Violet. A sippy cup did not hold enough for an adult. “May I have some more juice?” Violet smiled. “I have something else in mind.” She cleared the table including my sippy cup and put everything in the dishwasher. She then took some apple juice from the refrigerator and poured it into a bottle. She then took me by the hand to the living room. We sat together on the couch and I lay with my head in her lap and was fed my bottle. The apple juice was nice and cool and I greedily drank it up. I was so thirsty for some reason and Violet was gentle. She was singing softly to me as I suckled on my bottle. Suddenly Violet sat up straight. She lifted me off her lap and stood up and ran toward the downstairs bathroom. I put my bottle on the coffee table and followed her. I didn’t ever use the downstairs bathroom. In fact, it was off limits to me, but I followed Violet in anyway. She was in distress when she hurried to the bathroom and I was worried. I found her on her knees in front of the toilet puking her guts out. Her face was red. I knelt beside her and rubbed her back until she seemed to get control of herself. “Are you all right?” I asked when she had changed positions to sit on the floor instead of kneel over the toilet. “I’m fine now. I was really nauseous,” she said. “Do you want to stay home instead of going to the Luther’s?” I asked. I am afraid that I asked the question too eagerly. “No, we are not missing the meeting,” she said. She stood up and washed her face and then took me by the hand to the car. We stopped by the living room long enough for me to pick up my book and Violet to pick up my diaper bag and my bottle, then we were out the door. The car trip to the Luther’s was uneventful except for Violet making sure I was drinking my bottle. By the time we arrived at the Luther’s I had finished the bottle and was already feeling the need to pee. “Violet,” said Mr’s Luther as she met us at the door, “how was the trip?” “It was very enjoyable,” answered Violet. “And Beth,” she said, “I hope you are doing well. Your friend Lillie is in the bedroom. Do you remember her? I bet you will be glad to see her.” I fake smiled. I surely remembered Lillie and her treatment of me and I was certainly not happy about having to spend the morning with her. I followed Violet into the house and we walked into the living room where all the ladies were meeting. I looked at the clock. It was still stopped. I frowned. I hated the fact that the clock wasn’t wound. Today would be the day I would fix it. Instead, Lillie appeared in the living room and took my hand. “Oh, Beth,” she said. “I’ll entertain you in the bedroom so you don’t get bored and bother the ladies during their meeting.” She pulled me toward the hallway, but first paused to grab my diaper bag. As soon as we were in the bedroom, she unbuttoned my jeans and thrust her hand down the front of my diaper. “Still dry,” she said. She buttoned me back up. “I’ll change you if you wet,” she said, “but I’ll be checking on you. Violet said I let you get a rash, but she had done the same.” I turned and sat on the bed. There were no toys, but Lillie reached into her bag and pulled out a stuffed animal, or rather just the head of a stuffed animal. It was a red bird. I looked at it again. The bird head had wings on the side of its head. “Caw caw,” she said and tossed the bird at me. I caught it and held the thing. I wondered who would make a stuffed bird head. A phone rang in Lillie’s bag and she reached in and pulled out her phone before answering it. “Hi, Brian,” she said. I rolled my eyes. “I’m just babysitting Beth.” She paused while listening to the response. “Yes, she is the one.” I was starting to get mad. She took every opportunity to talk about me. However she changed the subject and talked about annoying teenage things with Brian. I was bored. I saw Lillie’s bag and wondered it that Hunger Games book was inside it. She had dumped out my diaper bag and gone through it when I was in this room with her last. I dumped her backpack out on the bed. The effect was surprising. The Hunger Games book did tumble out of the bag along with a pair of khaki shorts and a camisole, a box of Girl Scout cookies, and two of those purple diapers. “I got to go,” said Lillie and then hung up the phone. She grabbed the diapers from me and then shoved them in her bag. “Beth, don’t go through my stuff.” She then gathered the clothes and cookies. I wondered why she had the diapers. It had been weeks since she babysat me. Her face had turned red when she saw the diapers. They embarrassed her. I thought back to how so many of those purple diapers had been wet. I did not remember wearing that many. Was it possible that Lillie needed diapers? No. The very thought was absurd. I pushed the book at her. “Oh,” she said. “You want a story?” She picked up the book and started reading it. I just curled up beside her and closed my eyes and listened to the story. She didn’t read the whole story, but she did read almost the whole time. At least there were no vampires. About midway through my time at the Luther’s, we were called in for refreshments. I sat at the table. “Beth, would you like some juice?” asked Mrs. Luther. Violet smiled. “She can have juice.” Lillie held a cup and Mrs. Luther poured juice in it. Lillie then put the cup in front of me. “Now don’t spill,” she said. “I’ll get you a cookie.” I took a sip of my juice and then realized that I had to pee. I relaxed and wet my diaper. The wetness felt so warm. I was started to like the feeling of a warm diaper. I wondered what was wrong with me. Lillie brought me the cookie. I was not a child, yet she had only brought me one cookie. I ate it and then drank the juice. When I finished, Lillie smiled at me. “All done,” she asked. She pulled me by the hand out of my seat and I followed after her back toward the bedroom. On the way back, Violet hurried past us to the bathroom. I didn’t get to see why she was in such a hurry because Lillie pulled me into the bedroom. When we were alone, she shoved her hand in my diaper. “You are really wet,” she said. She laid me on the bed. “Let’s get you changed.” I lay back as she undid the latches to my shortalls and pulled them off of me. I was just in my diaper and t-shirt and when she undid my diaper. I was really wet and really needed the change. Before she could get me wiped clean and put in a clean diaper, Violet came in. She looked a bit pale. “Lillie, finish changing Beth. We are going to leave a bit early.” I looked at Violet and wished she would finish changing me. However, that wasn’t going to happen. She just sat in a chair by the door. “No, Lillie. You don’t have to rub the Desitin in that much,” said Violet. “You can just brush it on with a baby wipe. It’s really sticky stuff.” Lillie frowned. “I wondered why it stuck to my hands so badly.” She took the wipe and brushed it on me which was a bit more comfortable than her rubbing it on my privates with her fingers. Soon I was changed and we walked out toward the car. “I hope you feel better soon, Violet,” said Mrs. Luther. “I was just a little nauseous,” she said. She took my hand. “Let’s go home, Beth.” When we got to the car, I looked at Violet. “You don’t look so good. Are you sure you are okay to drive? I can drive.” “I was just a little nauseous. I’ll be fine if we go straight home. Besides, you don’t have your license or any ID whatsoever.” That panicked me. “I have no ID of any kind? I left that stuff behind at Peter’s house. What am I going to do?” How would I get a job or anything if I didn’t have that kind of paperwork? I didn’t think I would be staying with Jeff and Violet forever. “You’re my baby and you don’t need all that grown up stuff. Relax. Besides, your probation officer brought all that stuff to us soon after you first moved in with Jeff and me.” She patted me on the leg. “Now let’s get home and we can take naps.” We drove home. I didn’t care for the idea of a nap since I didn’t really do anything except wet my diaper, read, and watch TV. I did sleep whenever I was tired, which was rarely, because Violet put me to bed early every night. However, we walked in the front door, and she led me straight to my crib. “I’m going to take a nap so I will feel better,” she said and walked out of my room. ### I woke up from Jeff shaking me. “Wake up. Violet overslept and told me to get you up.” I sat upright and my blanket shifted down, revealing that I was only wearing a slightly wet diaper. Jeff looked away. “Can you please get me a t-shirt?” I asked. When I saw he was looking in the dirty clothes basket, I pointed toward the dresser. “The second drawer.” He tossed me the first t-shirt he saw, the three Jacob moon shirt. I hated that shirt, but I pulled it on anyway. “I’m decent,” I said. At least my torso and diaper was covered by a clean t-shirt. Jeff turned to me and the pulled down the side of my crib. I hopped out, but not without exposing the back of my diaper. “Do you need a change?” he asked me. I didn’t know if I wanted him to change me. I hoped Violet would be able to change me. If she were ill though, maybe I could be an adult until she got better, unless Lillie were to come and take care of me. I hoped it didn’t come to that. “Umm,” I said. “Violet is taking a shower. If you can wait that long, she can change you,” he said. “Otherwise...” He let that thought trail away. “I can wait,” I said. “I’m just wet.” “Good,” he said. “Changing an adult is a bit too personal for me.” He opened the dresser and found a pair of shorts and handed them to me. I stepped into them and buttoned them on. I had a little bit of trouble with the zipper because I hadn’t dressed myself in so long, but I got finished dressing. We walked downstairs to the living room. We watched TV a bit and he asked me about my reading during the commercials. I told him about the Hunger Games Lillie was reading to me. “I heard about that series,” he said. “There is going to be a movie for that book.” “Oh yeah. Do you suppose Violet could take me?” He laughed. “You’ll have to ask her.” By the time Violet came down, I was already nose deep in a book. I looked up as she crossed the room to take her spot in her chair. “Feeling, better?” I asked. “Much better,” she said. “Will you change my diaper, Mommy,” I asked. “I’m very wet.” Jeff looked at me a bit strange when he heard me call Violet Mommy. However, he just shrugged. “Come on, baby,” she said. She led me back up to my room and pulled off my shorts and began to change me. As she worked, she talked to me. “We both had big naps, didn’t we,” she said. “I’ve been a little bit tired the last few days and it really helps that you are being such a good girl for mommy.” “No problem,” I said. “Good,” she said. “Now let’s go back down and watch TV.” I stood up and stepped into the shorts as she held them for me and buttoned them and then we returned downstairs. ### After spending the evening with Jeff and Violet, I was put to bed. It was very hard to sleep since I had napped all afternoon. I tossed and turned until midnight and wet my diaper before I had even gotten to sleep. However, in my warm wet diaper I was able to get to sleep. Chapter Seventeen: Changes Ahead My days consisted of waking up, wetting my diaper, having a bath, and then spending the day with Violet as she either wrote, visited her editor, or went to meetings at the Luthers. Some days we went shopping which meant getting publically dragged around in diapers and child-like clothing. For entertainment, I either watched TV or read the books in Jeff’s study. That is how my days normally went. Today was not normal. A cramp woke me up and I noticed my diaper was already wet. I had been wetting my diaper in my sleep more often in the last couple weeks. I wasn’t quite sure if the cramp was from needing to poop or my period starting. It was probably both, which really meant nothing. Diapers ended my need to worry about that type of thing. Usually I didn’t need to poop first thing in the morning, but today I did. Also Violet had been suffering from nausea for the past couple days. With Violet sick, I was reluctant to greet Violet first thing in the morning with a messy diaper, so I held it in and waited for her. She came in when she heard me stirring in the baby monitor. “How did my baby sleep?” she asked. I smiled back at her. “Okay, Mommy,” I said. She helped me out of the crib and I stood there slightly bent over from the cramping. “Are you feeling better?” Violet smiled. “I’m doing good,” she said. We went to the bathroom and Violet began drawing the water for my bath. I finally relaxed and filled my diaper. I could feel that it was a lot. She didn’t seem to notice that I was messy. She sat on the toilet and watched the water fill and I just stood there with a big bulge in my diaper. Suddenly she got up and turned around, dropped to her knees, and fumbled with the LidLok before throwing up. She then dry heaved a bit and then sighed. “Wait here, Beth. I am going to call the doctor.” I groaned. I wanted the dirty diaper off and I wanted my bath. I just stood there and waited until she came back. However, when she returned, I did not get my wish. “Beth, the bath will have to wait. We got to be at the doctor’s in thirty minutes or he can’t fit me in for three more days.” “Violet, I just pooped and I need a bath.” “Mommy has been feeling nauseous for a few days. I need to see the doctor. Lay down on the towel and I’ll change you and then we need to hurry and get you dressed.” I lay down and then Violet finally noticed what I did in my diaper. “Oh, let’s get you changed.” She quickly cleaned me and put the new diaper on me before dragging me to my nursery. She then threw some clothes on me: a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with the hearts on it. The jeans were tighter than I wished, but I was sure I was just paranoid about the diapers. Once dressed, she dragged me to the car, stopping only to grab my diaper bag. The drive to the doctor’s took most of the remaining thirty minutes. We had just come inside when the doctor motioned Violet to come straight back to an examination room. I just sat in the lobby, bored because I forgot my book. Instead, I picked up a magazine that I remembered from my childhood. I had loved Highlights as a child and loved to read it every time I had gone to the dentist or doctor’s offices. I must have lost concentration for a while trying to find twenty-five different things between two pictures, that I forgot about how smelly I felt. Violet does a good job at changing me, but I always want a bath after a messy diaper and I had been cheated of that. Anyway, before I knew it, Violet had come out of the examination room and even paid for her office visit. “Did they find out what is wrong with you, mommy?” I asked. I said the mommy quietly so no one else would hear me calling her that. “The doctor said nothing was wrong with me,” said Violet. She smiled at me. “Something is wrong if you are throwing up every morning,” I said. “He had to say something more.” “He did,” she admitted. She opened the car door for me and I sat down and let her do my seatbelt. “I got to tell my husband before I tell anyone else.” She came around to the front of the car. “What do you want for breakfast?” “Breakfast tacos.” Violet made a face and pulled into a Dairy Queen. She got me out of the car and we walked in. I scanned the menu for any breakfast items, but I didn’t really see anything. Violet ordered for me. “I’ll have a blizzard, a misty, and a hotdog,” she said. She smiled. “And Beth will have a blizzard, a misty, and...” “No hotdog,” I said. “Make my misty cherry and my blizzard mint chocolate chip,” I said. The man made our food and we went to a table to eat it. Violet put the straw in my misty and pushed it to me. She had ordered larges. I knew right away that the 32 ounces of misty would make me wet and I worried that the blizzard would give me other problems. I have a low tolerance for dairy and ice cream makes the problem worse. Before I came to live with Jeff and Violet I used to make sure that I was near a bathroom whenever I had ice cream. Peter had been so grossed out, that I wasn’t ever allowed to have ice cream while living with him. “So why ice cream for breakfast. You were always so strict about me eating ice cream for breakfast.” “I wanted ice cream,” she said. “And I really got the craving for a misty.” I sipped my cherry misty. As a teenager, I had worked at a Dairy Queen and knew how to make the misty stuff. I had poured 5 gallons of water and a 5 pound sack of sugar into the misty machine along with one packet of the DQ misty stuff. I wasn’t sure what was in the misty envelope, but I knew that it was pure sugar flavored with squirts of pure sugar. It sure was yummy though. Before we left, Violet and I had each drunken a 32 oz misty and eaten a large blizzard. I felt slightly ill, but Violet had a smile on her face. The next stop was Walmart. I hated Walmart. Walmart had long aisles and the bathroom was always hidden. When Peter had let me leave the house, it was only Walmart where we would go. I want to go shopping at the mall or at specialty stores. I did not want to buy dresses or blue jeans in the same place that sold fishing lures. However, this was the first time Violet had taken me to Walmart. She only went to the pharmacy and gave the pharmacist a prescription. “That will be twenty minutes,” he said. We sat on the little bench and waited. Twenty minutes was a long time and suddenly I had to pee. I tried to hold it because my jeans were a bit too tight and I knew the diaper would swell up. However, it just became too much and I started to pee full force into my diaper. It held it all, but I was sure I was going to pee all over the Walmart. Finally Violet got her prescription and we left. I had to walk with a slight waddle but we made it to the car without incident. I couldn’t get home soon enough. As soon as we got in the door I kicked off my shoes and undid my jeans and started getting undressed. I needed my bath. “Beth, what are you doing?” “I need a bath, mommy,” I said. “Do me a favor and just go in and take a shower, please. I’ll bring you some clothes. I really have to pee.” She turned and went to the master bedroom. I was shocked. I had never taken a bath or a shower by myself since I moved in with Jeff and Violet. I closed the bathroom door and pulled off my diaper. I was worried when I saw what was inside. I had drunken the bright red cherry misty and I noticed a lot of wetness in my diaper. I turned on the water and got the water temperature right, and was just about to plug the drain, but then changed my mind. Instead I closed the shower curtain and took a long shower. I paid special attention to soaping my nether regions and then I found the baby shampoo on the side of the tub and used that to wash my hair. Once clean, I toweled myself dry and then look on the counter. Violet had just left a stack of clothes on the sink. I walked up and looked through it. A different t-shirt and the jeans I had worn that morning were stacked neatly. However, on top of the stack was a pair of panties. “Mommy,” I called into the hallway. “Do you need something, Beth?” Violet asked me. “I need a diaper,” I said. “You accidently put panties with my clothes.” “I thought, I’d let you be a big girl today,” she said. Violet was really serious. I was allowed to wear panties today. I got dressed. I felt funny. There was no crinkle as I walked and I had to tug on the waistband of my pants ever few minutes as I walked around. I eventually settled on the couch and read my book as I waited for Jeff to come home. I wondered what the news for Jeff she got at the doctor’s office was going to be. It was serious enough that she didn’t have time to baby me, but she also indicated that nothing was wrong. I thought about the trip to the pharmacy and that confused me a lot. Doctors don’t give prescriptions when nothing is wrong. I was so nervous about the news and I couldn’t wait until Jeff got home so she could tell me about it. I also had nervous urges to pee. It seemed like I couldn’t go half an hour without having to go to the bathroom to pee. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of forgetting I was not wearing diapers and wetting myself. ### Jeff came in at about half past five. I was a mix between excitement and worry when I saw him. “Hi, Beth,” he said when he came into the living room. “Hi, Jeff,” I said. “Violet needs to talk to you about something important. She won’t tell me what it is, so it must not really be any of my business, but I am worried about it just the same. She was acting weird all day since she came back from the doctor’s office.” “Was her nausea continuing?” I nodded. He went into Violet’s office and shut the door. They spoke in low tones, so I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Still, they seemed to be in there a long time. I tried to read my book, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. I just sat on the couch and tapped my foot nervously. Finally they came out. Both Jeff and Violet were smiling. “Beth, do you want to go with us to Applebees?” asked Jeff. "We are celebrating.” “Celebrating?” I asked. “I’m having a baby,” said Violet. It suddenly became clear to me why I was back in panties. Now I would be forced to be Violet’s maid and be subject to beatings if I failed to perform. I was no longer Violet’s baby. I smiled. “That’s wonderful, Violet.” I didn’t feel like smiling. I wondered what was in store for me. ### Applebees was good. I had a nice meal and even had some drinks. We sat around the table and Jeff raised a glass to me. “Thanks for being part of our family the past few months, Beth,” he said. He smiled and lowered his voice. “I bet you are glad to be out of diapers now.” I smiled back and took the last sip of my Dr Pepper. “Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom.” I got up and went to the bathroom. I chose a stall and did my business and went to the sink and washed my hands. I had felt so embarrassed about the diapers and everything the last couple months and now, here I was with the ability to act like an adult. I quickly returned to our table and found that my drink was refilled. I sipped as Jeff and Violet talked among themselves. “So have you given any thought to what you are going to do next?” asked Jeff. I froze. What could I do? “I guess I am going to help Violet with housework while the she’s dealing with the baby and stuff. I mean since she doesn’t want me to be her baby anymore.” I hoped I had given the right answer. “We’ll talk about our options in the next couple of months,” said Violet. I nodded. Things were changing and I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t really like change. “We don’t need to change anything right away, Beth,” said Jeff. “We’ll just move you to the guest room for now. We just need to discuss what to do when it is time for you to leave us.” There it was. They were going to kick me out. I felt like crying. I wanted to respond, but my throat hurt and I knew if I said anything that I would start balling. When I lived with Peter, balling just got me a beating. I just stayed quiet until we left the restaurant. The drive home was too much. As soon as I sat in the car I noticed I had to pee. I was about to wet myself. Twenty minutes later I felt a spurt in my panties. Unfortunately by the time we arrived at the house, there was a wet spot the size of a saucer on my pants and I was about to lose it. We pulled in the driveway and almost as soon as the car stopped, I got out and headed for the house. Jeff had his key out and I was crossing my legs. Suddenly my crotch went numb and I began wetting. The wet spot grew and lost its roundness as rivulets of pee ran down my legs into my shoes. Jeff looked at me with concern, but Violet just shrugged. “Did you forget you weren’t in a diaper again?” asked Violet. “No,” I said. “I just couldn’t hold it.” I started balling without even trying to stop. I knew I would be beaten anyway, so there was no point in controlling my emotions. Jeff got the door open and Violet escorted me to the bathroom. I just stood there and she had to undress me. Besides, I knew everything would be a big mess. However, as soon as I was naked and in the bath, Violet left me to clean myself. Once clean I just sat in the water until Violet came with my jammies. It was just my sleeper, but I wanted to wear it most of all. There was also a pair of panties on top of pile. I looked at Violet. “I need a diaper for bed tonight.” “Beth, you don’t have to wear diapers anymore,” she said. “You can wear regular underwear. In fact I’ll take you to Vitoria’s Secret tomorrow and we’ll get you some nice bras and underpants.” I shivered. I hoped she wouldn’t make me wear only underwear around the house like Peter had done. I had enjoyed the security of being a baby. Only a terrible person would hit a baby and no one had hit me during the time I spent diaper. I got dressed in my jammies and went down the stairs to join Jeff and Violet in the living room. I took my seat on the couch and hung my head. “Are you all right, Beth?” he asked. “I’m sorry I wet my pants,” I said. I waited for my punishment, but it never came. “You probably just need to remember that you aren’t wearing diapers anymore,” he said. “Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t want to tell him about needing the toilet every half hour or waking up wet, so I was just quiet. “So I heard you have two years of college,” he said. “You had pretty good grades before you dropped out too.” “Yeah,” I said. “I was an engineering student.” “You ever want to finish?” he asked. “Someday,” I said. “I don’t know how I will ever get the money. I don’t exactly have an income right now and I still owe you guys all that money.” “You’ve worked some of it off,” he said. “We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest?” I walked to my nursery, and put down the rail and started to crawl in for the night, when Violet came in. “Don’t sleep in here,” she said. She took me by the hand and led me to the guestroom. “You will sleep in here for now on.” The guestroom looked a bit different. The big full bed sat in the corner of the room now, so I would be more comfortable. I got under the covers and rolled over to face Violet. “Thank you for letting me be your baby. I felt so loved.” She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “Jeff and I still love you very much. You were a very nice baby and helped me to heal and we got to find a way to thank you.” She turned out the light and left the room. I tossed and turned a little trying to get comfortable and the bed crinkled a bit from the plastic mattress protector, but I finally got to sleep. Of course I woke up in the middle of a puddle wearing a wet sleeper. Chapter Eighteen: Being an Adult I’ve haven’t woken up wrapped in wet sheets for a long time. The last time, unfortunately, was when I first started college. In college a girl is allowed to experiment with grown up things and it was no different for me. After our first set of exams, Sylvia snuck some wine coolers into our dorm and the two of finished two six packs of them by ourselves. It was my first taste of alcohol and wine coolers are so nice and sugary that I just drank one after another until they were gone. Waking up at three in the morning in college after wetting the bed was humiliating for me. Sylvia was nice about it, but she still teased me gently. Aside from that wetting, I think I wet my bed when I was in second grade once because I had soda before bed. I had gotten a spanking after that accident. So I had a good record when it came to bedwetting. However, wearing diapers allowed me to get lazy and I think I did something bad to myself. I got out of bed and stood there looking at the puddle in the middle of the bed. I wore only my wet sleeper and the wet panties I had on underneath. I sighed. I started stripping the bed. I thanked God for small wonders that Violet had left the plastic sheet on the bed. I sopped up the puddle with the dry portions of the sheets and then threw the bundle in a pile on the floor. I looked down at the sleeper and then took it off and dropped it into the pile. I had no idea how I was going to hide this from Violet. I guess it would be my first job as Violet’s maid. I picked up the bundle and opened my door. Violet was on the other side of the hall coming out of her room. “Beth, what are you doing?” I froze as Violet closed the distance to me. She looked past me to the bed and she probably couldn’t help but notice the wet sheets in my arms. “Did you wet the bed?” I nodded. “I couldn’t help it,” I said. “Don’t spank me.” “Well, Beth,” she said. “Let’s not worry about the sheets right now. Instead let’s get dressed for the day.” I was wearing only my peed in panties. I never would walk around in front of Sylvia like that. In front of Peter, I always wore a negligee or a teddy, but never just in a pair of panties, especially not a peed in pair. I let Violet take the sheets and throw them on back on the bed. She led me to the bathroom. “Take a nice shower and I will get you some clothes. I did promise to take you to buy underwear.” “Even though I wet the bed?” I asked. “I thought you would punish me.” “Just get cleaned up. We’ll discuss the bedwetting later.” I took a long shower and cleaned myself. I didn’t want the shower to end, because I dreaded the horrible punishment I would receive from Violet afterward. Finally, I couldn’t poke around in there any longer. I had already shaved my legs and underarms, washed and conditioned my hair, and scrubbed every inch of my body until it was pink. Finally I had to turn off the water. My clothes were neatly laid out on the toilet. I dried off and then took the plain white panties and put them on. I then put on the Sponge Bob shirt and jeans she had laid out. There were no socks and no shoes, so I finally came out of the bathroom fully dressed. “I’m ready to discuss the bedwetting,” I said. I was nervous, and held my hands together in front of me. “We don’t have to talk about it immediately,” she said. “Let’s sit down in the living room and talk about it.” I followed her down the stairs. My blanket with the toys on it was gone. They were probably put away, just like the LidLok on the toilet and the bath toys that had disappeared. We sat on the couch and she sat beside me. “So what happened?” she asked. “I’ve been waking up in a wet diaper the past couple weeks,” I said. Violet got a sad look on her face and then looked at me. “Oh,” she said. “It’s probably my fault then. I’ve been babying you to make myself happy and I didn’t think of the physical consequences to you.” “You mean that you aren’t going to punish me?” I was astonished. “No, I am not. However, we still have to wash your wet things.” She looked me in the eyes and said, “Beth, do you mind terribly if we went back to diapers for the nighttime until you are able to make it through the night without wetting?” I did feel safer in diapers and although I wanted my adulthood back, I couldn’t help feeling incomplete without the diapers. “Yes, mommy,” I said. “I am willing to wear diapers to bed again.” She gave me a hug. “I’ll try to make it up to you the way I treated you.” She smiled. “Let’s get you some underwear. You really can’t survive on three pairs of panties.” I did a mental inventory. There was the pair I wet last night outside the door, the pair I wet in bed, and the pair I had on now. That meant that I had no underwear left. I wondered if I wet now, I would be put back in diapers for the day. “Let’s go then,” she said. She then looked down at my feet. “Oh. Shoes. Yours are still wet from the washing machine, so let me get you something else.” She left me and returned with a pair of flip-flops. They were pink and had pink sequins on the cloth part. She also brought my pink headband and put it in my hair. “Your hair is starting to grow out a bit more. It’s not enough to make pigtails, but it is growing longer.” It was true. I had about four inches of hair and Violet had been trying to comb it into as girly style as she could. It still went all over the place and those headbands we bought on our first shopping excursion had come in handy. I slipped on the flip flops and we went to the mall. ### The mall had the same few stores, but I didn’t care. It was the mall. It would be fun as long as I didn’t have to go to Hot Topic. However, as soon as we got to the mall, I announced that I had to pee. “Didn’t you just go at home?” asked Violet. I had gone in the shower, but I didn’t want to tell Violet I had such a gross habit. “I did go at home, but I have to go again.” “Okay, let’s go then.” She led me toward the bathrooms. Of course when we got there all the stalls were taken. I put my hand in my crotch and rocked while I waited for another stall. “Why are you so desperate?” she asked. “I’m going to have an accident,” I said. Fortunately, someone came out of a stall and I managed to hobble in there and get my pants down. I was surprised that I had made it to the toilet. Violet managed to get a stall next to mine and she did her business while I examined my panties. They weren’t wet, but it would have been a matter of seconds before I started flooding. I wondered what was going on. I didn’t really pee that much though. I came out and washed my hands. Violet joined me. “I’m sorry for that childish display,” I said. “Do you have trouble holding if for long?” asked Violet. Everytime she’d seen me, I had been either in diapers or on the verge of an accident. “I used to be able to hold it an hour or two,” I said. “It seems like the last couple days I’ve had to go every half an hour. When I was in diapers I just relaxed when I got the slightest urge, so I didn’t bother trying to hold it.” “It’s good I am letting you out of diapers now,” she said. “A few more months and you might have had to wear diapers permanently.” “What do you mean?” “Your bladder is just a little weaker now. That is probably why you are wetting the bed too. That’s why it is important for you to try to wear panties.” We left and went to Victoria’s secret. Violet selected several things for me. It was more than just pushup bras and matching panties. She even bought me a pair of adult pajamas. I had a feeling that sleepers would be a thing of the past. We finished shopping and we left the store with little pink striped bags. As we were walking through the mall, we came across a watch place. Violet stopped and we looked at watches for a few minutes. “I’m getting you a watch,” she said. “Okay.” I didn’t really have or wear a watch and I hadn’t since before college. In college I had a cell phone, so really didn’t need a watch and then Peter had told me I didn’t need a watch because there was a clock on the stove. As Violet’s baby, I didn’t have a watch because I really had no set schedule. I just did what Violet had me do. She selected a digital watch and asked the guy at the watch counter about alarms and stuff. I didn’t really pay attention and I was disappointed by Violet’s suggestion. However she had something in mind. We went to the food court and she let me select the place to eat. I looked around and saw the Hardees. I had loved the food there, but I shuddered at the thought of pooping in my panties. I knew I would be able to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t shake the memories. Cold Stone was a no. I was on the toilet the whole afternoon from the ice cream and didn’t want to deal with that. McDonalds was a big no. I did not want another Happy Meal. That just left the Chinese place and Sbarro Pizza. “Sbarros,” I said. “That sounds like a plan,” said Violet. We got our pizza and sat down at a table and Violet started playing with the settings on my new watch. I ate in silence, wondering what she had planned. “I set your watch for every thirty minutes,” she said. “It should beep and then that should tell you when to go to the bathroom. We’ll make the time longer each time and find a happy medium between accidents and not building your bladder muscles.” She took my arm and slipped the watch on me. “Okay,” I said. “What if it doesn’t beep when I am desperate or it beeps when we are in the car or something?” “Beth, it’s not a perfect system, but you do need to be able to hold it longer again.” “Okay,” I said. “I will try my best.” “That’s all I ask.” We left the mall. ### It was good to be home again. However, I felt miserable. I could only use the toilet when my watch beeped and that meant crossing my legs with desperation waiting until the next beep. It was awful. However, Jeff came home. He looked at me and smiled. “We got a lot to talk about tonight.” “Oh,” I asked. I knew he was going to talk to me about how they were kicking me out because Violet was going to have a real baby. “We got to talk about what you want to do next,” he said. “Come in my office.” I entered and then Violet came in and sat with us. Jeff pulled out a folder and spread some stuff out for me. It was a statement for my restitution payment plan and there was also a check laying there. I looked it over, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. “You owed us 25 thousand,” he said. “However, you have been with us for about six months already and in that time you have earned money working for us.” I wasn’t sure how much work I had done. I also wasn’t sure how six months could have gone by while I was just acting like a baby for Violet. “How much do I have left,” I asked. I wondered if I could get a job and make back enough to pay them the rest. “Well, your insurance company settled and gave you a check for eleven thousand,” he said. “That’s unfortunately all you get from a totaled brand new car. I didn’t know your car was paid for until the insurance company sent you the money.” He tapped into the calculator. “At the rate of pay Violet and I set for you, you have paid us off. In fact you have 13 hundred left.” “So what do you want me to do next?” I asked. I was free. I didn’t owe anyone anything, but I really had no place to go. I needed to be taken care of. I couldn’t get a real job. “You can do whatever you wish now,” he said. “We loved having you here, Beth,” said Violet. I felt scared a bit and felt my pants suddenly get warm. I looked down and realized that I was peeing myself. Jeff and Violet both noticed right away. Violet got up and just walked out. Jeff looked at me with pity. “I’m sorry,” I said. Just then my watch beeped. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We will make it up to you.” Just then Violet came back with a towel and had me stand up so she could wipe the puddle from my chair. I was about to go to the bathroom to clean up, but she put her hand on my shoulder. “This is important. We want to make sure you have a good start.” I just sat in my wet pants as I was told what was expected of me. Jeff ignored my wet crotch. “We think you ought to go back to school and finish your degree. You can stay with us until classes start in the fall and you can come stay with us for all your breaks.” “Jeff and I will cosign for you on your student loans,” said Violet. “Do you want me to go to college?” I asked. “We want you to do whatever you want, but Violet and I wanted to give you that option.” “Okay,” I said. “Now let’s fill out these forms,” said Jeff. ### Forms were filled out and soon I would be going to college. Violet helped me upstairs where I took a much needed bath. I put on a new pair of panties and my pink shorts and sat on the couch reading. Jeff smiled at me. “Don’t worry. You have a few months to get your bladder under control. Violet told me you got a bit too used to having diapers and you need time to learn how to be without them.” “Thanks,” I said. “I am really embarrassed about this.” “Well, don’t let it bother you. You really helped Violet and we want the best for you. You are our daughter and we really care for you.” “Thanks, Jeff,” I said. “I never felt so loved as when I was Violet’s baby.” My watch beeped and I excused myself to use the restroom. When I returned, Violet came to me. “It’s late. Do you want to go to bed?” I nodded. “I get you a diaper and then you can put on your new pajamas.” I looked at her confused for a second. “I don’t know how to put on a diaper. Will you please help me, Mommy.” “Of course I will,” said Violet. She took me to my room and I sat on the bed. I got undressed and lay back as Violet powdered and diapered me. She helped me get my jammies on and then tucked me in bed. “Thanks, Mommy,” I said. “I love you. Have pleasant dreams.” She turned off the light and closed the door, leaving me alone. I lay back once again comfortable in my warm diaper. I laid back dreading my potty training that would take place the next couple of month until college started again and then wondered if I could hold it long enough to sit through a college class. I hoped I could because I would finish this time. I would still miss being taken care of. Chapter Nineteen: Potty Training Even though I had gotten to enjoy the baby treatment, it had still been humiliating to have to wear and mess diapers. When it started, I thought I would never be more humiliated. I never guessed that I would need potty training and how humiliating that would be. My bladder was so weak, that I almost constantly had an urgent need to pee. It was awful. At Violet’s house, I could make it to the toilet almost every time, but now we had left for Violet’s editor. “Be good while I have my meeting,” she said and left me in the waiting room. I groaned and then sat on the leather couch and began to read my book. Violet went into the editor’s office. “May I get you some water?” the receptionist asked. “Yes, please,” I said. She gave me a bottled water and then I sipped on it as I read. Before I knew it, the water was gone. Since having my panties back, I had realized that drinking liquids makes it even harder to hold it and I probably should have passed on the water, but I hadn’t. What made regaining bladder control difficult was that I felt I had to pee and then fifteen minutes later, I wet myself. If I did make it to the toilet, I would have another fifteen minutes before I started feeling the need to go, so I could only hold it thirty minutes on the day I first started potty training. I had to extend the time to two hours and I wasn’t making very good progress. I had only set the alarm on my watch to give me thirty-five minutes between bathroom trips. I had to go badly by that time and I looked at the watch. I had two minutes left. I had to hold it longer and longer to strengthen my bladder or I would never regain any useful control. Some of the classes in college were an hour and a half and I couldn’t just slip out of a lecture two times to go pee. I needed to make progress, so I just suffered and crossed my legs and tried to read. After the final two minutes ended, I heard a beep. I got up and walked to the bathroom, but it was hard. I was in a public place and didn’t want to hold myself, but my bladder was about to burst. Once in the ladies room, I put a hand between my legs and almost hobbled into a stall. Before I could even get my belt unbuckled, the dam broke and pee started flooding out. I said earlier that I can’t stop peeing once I start and I peed until I was empty. In my pants. In public. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were not Violet’s editor’s office, but it was. I sat down on the toilet, with my pants still up, and cried. If Violet hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would be in a nice wet diaper and my pants would be dry. I couldn’t walk out like I was and I couldn’t change because my clothes were in the car. I don’t know how long I sat in the stall before Violet came in. “Beth, are you in there,” she asked. I stepped out of the stall and let her see my wet pants. “I didn’t make it,” I said. “I hated to do this at your work. I told you that you should have put me in a diaper before leaving the house.” Violet looked at me. I was sure she was studying the pee stain that must have covered my butt and the insides of my legs. Diapers weren’t really that embarrassing. They are a whole lot less noticeable than wet pants. “That change of clothes in your diaper bag would have come in handy,” she said. She pointed to the puddle on the floor. “Wipe up the mess you made and then get undressed. I have an idea.” She then left me there. I got some paper towels from the sink area and then soaked up the pee puddle and then threw the paper towels away. I then went back into the stall and peeled off my blue jeans and orange panties and then sat on the toilet and waited. I didn’t have to wait long before Violet came back. She carried a duffle bag. She opened the stall door and tossed me a few items. One was a blue skirt and when I went to pull it on, discovered that it had panties built into it almost like a cheerleader’s skirt. I pulled it on and then took off my shirt to pull on the white cammie. Both the skirt and the cammie were a couple sizes too large for me and I was worried about how short the skirt was and wondered if it was inappropriate attire for Violet’s office but it was better than peed in jeans. I folded my wet jeans and then rolled them up with the panties tucked in one of the pockets and then came out of the stall. Violet was gone, but then she emerged from the next stall dressed similarly to myself. She took my wet bundle and stuffed it in the duffle and smiled at me. “Let’s go,” she said. I followed her out the door and into the lobby. At the same time, I wondered why she had changed her clothes too. She hadn’t peed her pants. “Oh, you changed,” said the receptionist. She smiled at Violet. “Are you finally going to start playing again?” “Yep,” she said. “My niece finally noticed the tennis courts in the park and begged me to stop and let her play. She hasn’t been on the courts since before she broke her arms.” I nodded. “Well, have fun,” said the receptionist. “It’s too nice a day. I wish I could go out with you.” “Bye,” said Violet. I waved. She led me out the door and to the parking lot. However, when we went to the car, she just went to the trunk and opened it to throw in the duffle bag. She then reached into the trunk and pulled out some tennis rackets. “Jeff won’t mind if you use his racket,” she said and handed me one. We then walked across the street to the park. I hadn’t played tennis in awhile and I was concerned about playing with Violet since she was pregnant. However, she led me to the court and then smiled at me as we walked in. “Are you sure you can play while pregnant?” I asked. “It’s my first trimester. It will be okay.” She walked around the net. “Besides,” she told me, “the receptionist assumed we changed because we were playing tennis.” I frowned. “As opposed to me wetting my pants.” I looked at Violet with a pleading look. “Will you please put me back in diapers when we get home?” I asked. “I hate this.” “Do you want to wear diapers to college? I won’t be there to change you.” Violet stepped back and got ready to serve. “No, I don’t want to wear diapers to college.” I said as I walked backward to a good position on the court. I held up my racket and waited for Violet’s serve. In the end, Violet beat for two sets. We didn’t even bother playing the third. “You’re good,” I said. “Played for all four years of college,” she said. She was sweating as we walked to the car. “I was there during the time they made sports a requirement for girls so they could comply with Title IX stuff. They could spend a whole lot on a few guys playing football if they had a sport for every girl to participate in.” “They didn’t require sports at my college,” I said, but then I realized I really had to pee. I looked at my watch and it had 25 minutes left. I had missed my last bathroom trip by ten minutes. Now it was urgent. “Violet, I really have to pee?” I said. We walked to the bathrooms, but there was a sign saying they were out of order. Violet tried the door. They were locked. I crossed my legs and tears filled my eyes. “What am I going to do?” “Just squat and go,” she said. “And wet your skirt?” I asked. “It will wash,” she said. I was going to wet my pants anyway, so I just squatted down and peed through the panties of the skirt while Violet rubbed my shoulders. Soon I was done and we walked back to the car. We got in the car and started driving home. I fingered the towel I was sitting on and then looked at Violet again. “Mommy, I need to wear diapers again. I hate these accidents and I keep wetting my panties all the time.” “I know,” she said. “It’s tough after you’ve relied on diapers for so long. However, if I put you back in diapers and you wet whenever you feel like it, then you will never regain your bladder control.” I looked at my watch and then thought for a little bit. Suddenly I knew what to argue. “What if I try to keep my diaper dry? I’ll just wet when my watch tells me I can. If I have an accident and wet earlier, then it will be less messy.” Violet didn’t say anything for a few minutes and we rode in silence. As we were about a mile from the house, she said, “I think I made a mistake of trying to potty train you like an adult. Let me see if I can get what I need in your size. Until then, I guess we can put you back in diapers.” I smiled when I learned I had achieved a victory. ### “Beth, why are you back in diapers?” asked Jeff. He seemed annoyed and a little embarrassed at how I was dressed. As a baby I normally didn’t sit around in just a diaper or a t-shirt. I tugged at the hem of my shirt. “I’ve been having accidents today and I begged Violet to put me back in diapers,” I said. I returned to reading my book. He sat down next to me and took the book. He set the book aside and looked at me. “Beth, you need to try harder. You got to regain your bladder control to go to college unless you want to wear diapers to class.” I wondered what everyone would think of a college girl who needed diapers. I was sure I’d be made fun of. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stop wearing diapers cold turkey. Violet said she was going to try something else to potty train me.” He took my book and was about to hand it back to me. “You can get out of diapers eventually. You helped Violet become herself again and I thought that was impossible.” He handed my book back. “Now a new episode of our favorite show is on tonight, so let’s go watch it after dinner.” “Cool,” I said. ### It had been three days since the tennis court incident, and I had worn diapers since then. I was sitting on the couch when my watch beeped. I smiled and relaxed, letting my diaper start to feel warm when the doorbell rang. Violet walked out of her office and scowled at me when she passed and answered the door. I quickly threw a blanket over myself and looked up to see who was at the door. It was a UPS guy and he had a package with him. Violet signed for the package and then she closed the door. “So what did you order?” I asked. She set the box on the coffee table. “It’s special underwear for you.” She tore open the box and pulled out some items. I looked at them closely. It looked like ten pairs of panties that looked like they were made out of towels and then she pulled out five panties made of plastic. “These will do nicely,” she said. “Those are baby training pants and covers,” I said. “Where did you get them in my size?” She took a pair of the panties and a set of the plastic pants. “They have everything on the Internet.” She took my hand. “Now let’s get you out of that wet diaper and start potty training you.” She took me to my room and I lay on the floor. She cleaned me pretty nicely and I smiled at her. However, once the diaper was off, she pulled me to my feet and handed me the training pants. It was like granny panties, but they were made from a towel. I pulled them on and they felt so soft. Then she pulled on the plastic pants. Those were different. They had elastic at the legs and the waist. The leg bands felt a bit tight and I yanked at them. “Stop touching yourself,” she said. “But,” I started to say. The plastic of the pants touched against my skin where the training pants didn’t cover and plastic doesn’t feel good against the skin. She turned and opened my closet. “What do you want to wear, pants or a skirt?” “A skirt, I guess,” I said. She of course picked the pink short skirt. She tossed it to me and I pulled it on. At least it matched the pink of the plastic pants. After sitting downstairs for a while, I started to sweat. The plastic pants just held the heat against my skin and I was uncomfortable. “Violet,” I said, “I’m hot and sweaty in these.” I pointed at the plastic pants. “Can I please have my diapers back?” “No, we are potty training you.” My watch beeped again and I realized I had to pee really bad, but I didn’t care. “Beth, it’s time to use the toilet.” “No,” I said. I wanted my diapers back. Violet cared for me when I was in diapers. Now she was being mean. Maybe if I kept having accidents, Violet would be forced to diaper me. I relaxed and wet myself. “Beth, stop,” she said, but it was too late. I couldn’t stop until my bladder was empty. Wetting in training pants with plastic pants over them is not like wetting a diaper. The panties soaked up some of the pee, but most of it pooled in the crotch of the plastic pants. Violet pulled up my skirt and looked at the pee in the bottom of my plastic pants. She glared at me. “I know you did that on purpose. I should give you a spanking.” I started to cry. I was being a brat and I had crossed the line. This was where the beatings would begin. I still had to beg. “I’m sorry,” I said. I turned around and bent down to grab my ankles. I closed my eyes. Violet touched my shoulder gently and pulled me to a standing position. “You seem used to spankings,” she said. “Come on.” She led me to the kitchen and had me sit in one of the chairs. Of course the puddle washed over a different area of my crotch. “Is there anything I can do to make potty training easier for you?” she asked. “You’ve been miserable since you’ve been out of diapers. The only time I’ve seen you happy is the last couple of days.” “I feel loved when I am diapered. You just yell at me whenever I either had to wear panties or with this torture device.” I pointed down to my plastic pants. They were getting hot and it was pretty humid in there with all the pee I was sitting in. I looked her in the face. “I know I deserve a spanking for wetting on purpose, but I’ve really gotten used to being your baby and no one hits a diapered baby. I guess I don’t want to give up the diapers because I know the beatings will continue.” I started to cry. Violet pulled me closer to her and gave me a hug. She rubbed my back while I cried. “No one is going to hit you, baby. Don’t cry.” It took a few minutes for me to get back under control and then Violet and I talked for a while as I told her my fears and everything that bothered me. “Thanks for reassuring me, mommy,” I said. “I am ready to have my diaper change.” “Beth baby, we still need to get you potty trained. I’m still your mommy, but I need you to try to be a big girl for me. Besides, you don’t want to wear diapers to school, do you?” “No, I don’t,” I said. “I still want to be your baby though and these plastic pants are hot and I’m sitting in a pool of pee.” “Yeah, let’s get you some new underpants on and we’ll try potty training again,” she said. ### I hobbled into the bathroom at the mall and came to a stop right in front of the stall. “Dammit,” I said. Pee soaked my training pants, but the plastic pants kept it from staining my light blue pants. That would have been obvious. “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” Violet gave me a concerned look. I had made it to the toilet most of the time at home, but when we went out, I had an accident at least two out of three times. It was humiliating. The watch Violet gave me had worked toward strengthening my bladder, but it did so at the cost of my dignity. “What do you think?” I asked. “I had another accident. I am never going to make it to be accident free before school starts.” “Nonsense,” said Violet. “It’s been only two months and you have been able to go for over an hour between bathroom visits.” I looked at my watch. It was counting down from an hour and fifteen minutes and I could usually handle that without an accident. Usually. Not when my watch beeped on the other side of the mall and the bathroom was closed for cleaning. If truth be known, if I was actually at college I wouldn’t have waited past the need to go until my watch beeped. I was not going to be courting accidents to that extent. I just wanted to get through class and maybe sip a soda like I usually did. But college was another six weeks away. I still had another month with Violet before I was going to move out and then I would spend the two weeks before college settling in to my new apartment, if I could find one. I couldn’t afford much. I knew I didn’t want to live in the dorms, since I still couldn’t master the bedwetting. “Do we have my diaper bag in the car?” I asked Violet. “No, we don’t,” she said. “Just try to go to the bathroom and clean yourself.” I went in and all I could really do is dump the pools of pee from the inside of my plastic pants and wipe them with toilet paper. I pulled back up my wet training pants and then pulled the now dried plastic pants back up and then rearranged my clothing. I felt uncomfortable. The pee in the training pants had time to cool and I knew from experience that I would have to sit in the hot car and sweat. Sweating was much worse in wet panties than in dry and I would have a miserable time until we got home. I came out of the stall and Violet looked at me. “We got to go to Barnes and Noble next,” said Violet. “I promised I would pick up some of Jeff’s shopping.” “Can’t we go home?” I asked. “I’m uncomfortable.” “I think that is a good motivator for you to learn to control yourself,” said Violet. I sighed and followed her out of the ladies room. We walked toward the book store, a place I normally loved to go, but I rather wanted to put on dry pants a little more. We were halfway there when we Sylvia came up to me. “Hi, Beth. Are you okay?” “Sylvia!” I said and gave her a hug. I turned to Violet. “This is my old roommate Sylvia.” “Nice to meet, you. I am Violet.” She put her hand out, but Sylvia ignored it. “Oh, you are the one who is using Beth. I am not happy about how you are treating her.” “Stop,” I said. “Violet treats me fine.” She lowered her voice. “She has you wearing diapers and threatening that she will send you to jail if you don’t agree.” “It’s not like that,” I said. Violet looked at me. “Your friend knows about this?” She looked at Sylvia. “Let’s get a bite to eat in the food court and I try to explain.” She took my hand and we went to eat. ### “...and so we are sending Beth to college in the fall to complete her education. She has been wonderful to me and I really love her and want to make it up to her.” Sylvia looked a little placated. Violet had admitted she had used me and I was vulnerable since I only truly felt love while diapered and associated the two. “I’d want to take her home with me and I’ll make sure no one hurts her,” said Sylvia. “I believe your story, but I think she is safer living with me. I have an extra room and live near the college.” Violet looked at me. A tear ran down her cheek. However, she didn’t waver when she spoke. “I don’t know that making her live with you is better than her staying with me. I am working on getting her ready for school again. She has a little problem we have yet to overcome and we need another month. However, by then she will start school.” They were both arguing over me like I wasn’t there. My crotch and hips and everything under my plastic pants were hot and the peed in panties against my skin didn’t help. I wanted to go home and have a bath. However Violet added something important to the conversation. “Maybe we should find out what Beth wants.” Both women looked at me. “Um,” I started to say. I loved both Sylvia and Violet, but I thought Violet had a better chance of making sure I strengthened my bladder before college. I looked at Sylvia. “I really miss living with you, but I need to stay with Jeff and Violet a little longer. Can I wait to move in with you on the first of August? I need a place to stay during college, if you have room for me.” “Of course I have room for you,” said Sylvia. “I’ll be working during the day, but my apartment is a two bedroom and I have plenty of room for you. I wish you could stay earlier though.” “I can’t,” I said. “I need to enjoy the little bit of time I have left with my mommy before I go live with you. I’ll be safe. I never have felt unsafe with them.” “She’s like my daughter,” said Violet. She looked at Sylvia. “I want you to keep her safe. I only found out a few weeks ago, but Beth’s old boyfriend hit her. I want you to make sure she stays away from people like that.” Sylvia’s lips curled. “That won’t be a problem.” My watch beeped and I got up and walked toward the food court bathrooms. Sylvia followed me. I went in and used the stall and peed in the toilet. Something was going right at least.” “Did that woman let you stop wearing diapers?” asked Sylvia when I came out of the bathroom. “Yeah,” I said. “My bladder is a little weaker now but we’ve spent the last two months with bladder strengthening exercises.” “What is that?” she asked. I explained. She was angry at Violet again, but I calmed her and said it was all right. She squeezed me into a hug and we then left the bathroom to rejoin Violet. ### By the time Violet and I left the mall and got home, I was cranky. I had sat in wet panties for over three hours and wanted nothing more than a bath and a change. We got home and I got my bath, but when it was over, she got a diaper. “Why a diaper?” I asked. “It’s time for a nap, you are being crabby.” It was true, but I’d had a tired day. I was ready to sleep. ### I hurried into the restroom and pulled down my jeans and thick training pants and sat down and peed. I looked at the watch. It had been two and a half hours since I last peed and that was with all the soda I was sucking down in the restaurant. I was doing better than when I started to live with Violet. I returned to our table and Jeff smiled at me. “Our house is going to be so empty without you. I will have no one to discuss books with or watch fantasy shows on HBO.” Violet smiled. Her belly was a lot rounder since she was almost halfway through her pregnancy. “Oh, I think your house is going to fill up before you notice,” I said. “Violet is a wonderful mommy and I think any baby would be lucky to be with you two.” “Thank you, Beth,” said Violet. “We will both miss you so much.” “Well, I’ll be back for Thanksgiving,” I said. “And Christmas.” “You better,” said Jeff. We celebrated a bit more before we finally went home. The next day was moving day. Chapter Twenty: The Clock Starts and Beth Moves out “Wake up, Beth,” said Violet. I sat up a little in bed, and saw Violet. She smiled at me. “Is it time to move yet?” “Not yet. We got a busy day. First we got to go to the Luther’s for the meeting and then we have to get you some school supplies. We have a busy day, so hurry and take your shower.” I showered and then put on some clean training pants. I was about to go back to my room and get dressed when Violet met me. She held a diaper in her hands. “I’m hurrying,” I said. “The Luthers still think you are brain damaged,” she said. “One last day in diapers won’t hurt. Just lie on the bed.” I lay on the bed and let Violet diaper me. It might be my last time to ever be diapered by Violet, so I lay down and closed my eyes and let her change me. I sat up and groaned when I saw my outfit. It was the light blue overalls. I hated the overalls. Without my Victoria’s Secret pushup bras, I looked pretty flat with overalls. However, I was going to be her baby one last day and I had to make it work. I grabbed my diaper bag and put my book inside and we went out to the car to see the Luthers. ### The path up to the house was short, but Mrs Luther opened the door and smiled at me. “Hi, Beth,” she said. I gave a halfhearted wave. “Oh, you understand me,” she said. “Can you say hi?” I just looked at her. “Beth is still non-verbal, but the doctor helped her make her needs known,” said Violet. “She can let me know if she needs a clean diaper or if she is hungry.” “I bet that is nice,” she said. I ignored her and we went into the house. “Lillie is not here yet,” Mrs. Luther said. “Do you think Beth can sit still until snacks?” “I think Beth can control herself a little bit,” said Violet. She sat me down on the floor and took a seat on the couch behind me. The boring meeting began. I spent my time looking at the clock. It was still stuck at 9:30, but that was far too late as it was still morning. I frowned. The stupid clock just sat there without moving. It was my last day at the Luther’s house, but I was not going to leave until I wound the clock. Acting like a toddler was bad because no adult would sit by and let me wind it. The women droned on and on about this and that. Then soon the topic of the conversation drifted to me. “You’ll have your hands full with the new baby and Beth. Are you ready to have two in diapers?” Violet smiled. “I’m trying to potty train Beth.” “How’s that working? Can she even learn anything?” Violet’s smile left her. “Well actually, it seems I have set her back a bit in her healing process. The doctor suggested a special school for her, so she might be able to function at a higher level. She said a few words so far, and we think she might regain some function.” “So where is the school?” one of the ladies asked. Violet gave a town name and then got a sad look on her face. “Jeff and I are going to take her there tonight. I sure will miss her.” “Beth, are you looking forward to school?” asked Mabel. I looked at her and smiled. Then I proceeded to wet my diaper. It had been two and a half hours, so I thought I had been doing well. “Well let’s get some refreshments,” said Mrs. Luther. Everyone filed out of the living room toward the kitchen. I remained seated in front of the couch. Now was my chance. I crawled toward the clock and opened the door. The three weights were in the bottom of the clock. I stood and then pulled the chain on the first clock until the weight came to the top of the clock. Then I pulled the next chain up and I got the third pulled to the top without incident. Finally, I gave the pendulum a little push and the clock started tic-tocking. I winced as the clock struck 9:30. Someone was bound to hear. I had little time to set the time and I opened the door on the clock face and started turning the hands. Everytime I passed a strike point, the clock chimed and I waited, but finally got it set at 11:55 just as Mrs. Luther came in. “Oh, Beth, the clock is not a toy.” She came up to me and pulled me back gently and then shut the doors on the clock face and the door underneath where you wind it. “My husband built that clock before he died. It stopped working a while back, but I’m going to have it fixed some day.” She took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen. “What happened, April?” asked Mabel. “Beth was trying to get into the clock again. She is fascinated by it. Every time she is here, I have to keep her from it.” I was angry. I had just started the clock and it seemed to be running okay. Did the woman not know you have to wind a clock if you want it to work? Violet walked from the hall from the bathroom. “I swear when you are pregnant, you have to go ever half hour. What’s all the excitement?” “Beth was playing with the clock again.” “She didn’t break it?” asked Violet. “It’s been broken for two years,” said Mrs. Luther. “It broke the same week that Henry died.” Suddenly the clock struck twelve. I looked at the digital clock on the VCR and it said twelve as well. Mabel and Mrs. Luther both turned to look at the clock. “Well maybe she jarred something that had stopped the clock,” said Mabel. “That’s probably it,” said Mrs. Luther. “Well let’s have refreshments.” Violet glared at me. “What did you do to that clock?” she whispered. “I just wound it and set it to the correct time,” I said. “Well, don’t do anything else miraculous today.” “Sure,” I said. We entered the kitchen and Violet gave me my milk and cookie. I sat by myself and ate it while Violet gossiped with the ladies. ### “Beth,” said a familiar voice. I looked and saw it was Lillie. She was smiling. “I get to see you once more, sweetie. Aunt Mabel tells me you are going away to a school for handicap people.” I just ate my cookie. “Well let’s go to the bedroom while the boring ladies have their meeting,” she said. I followed her into the bedroom. I hoped she would read Hunger Games, but she had some sappy book about a vampire high school. I frowned when she started to read it. It was almost worse than Twilight. For one it was like jumping on the bandwagon of vampire books and for another it was bad. At least the writing was better. However, I was bored and saw her open bag with the Hunger Games book on top. I reached for the bag and dumped the contents out accidently. Aside from the book was a purple diaper and a plastic bag, along with a few notebooks and another book in her Vampire series. “Beth, you made a mess,” she said. She started to pick up the stuff from her bag. I reached for the Hunger Games book and held it as I watched her pack her bag. She picked up the plastic bag and started to put it away when I realized that there was a used wet diaper in it. I certainly hadn’t worn that diaper. While she was bending down, her shirt rode up a bit and I saw a thin outline of purple above the waistline of her jeans. Lillie was wearing a diaper. I just had to figure out how to use that to my advantage. I picked up the Vampire book and put it in the bag and handed her the Hunger Games book. Lillie sighed, but she opened to the spot that she had left off earlier and read to me until time to go. ### “Beth,” said Sylvia as soon as she saw me at her door. She squeezed me into a hug and I almost wet my thick training pants from the pressure. She released me before I had an accident and then let me go as she saw Jeff and Violet coming up the stairs with some boxes. “Beth, we got a few more boxes in the car,” said Violet. “We’ll get you settled in,” she said. “Well, let me show you your room,” said Sylvia. She led me back down the hallway to a bedroom and opened the door. I peered inside. The room was furnished, but simple. My bed was there from when Sylvia and I were roommates and so was my dresser. She also added a desk and a chair. “Wow, you kept my bed,” I said. I looked at the position of the furniture and smiled at her. “May I please move the bed against the wall?” Violet started to look embarrassed, but Sylvia smiled. “Of course. You were always weird about that. Let’s move things.” Together we pushed the bed the couple of feet away toward the wall. Jeff had opened my box and was hanging my clothes in the closet and Violet was stocking my dresser drawers with my other clothes. I just stood there, helpless, because Violet was still treating me like a child. However, since all my clothes were the ones Violet had bought for me, that didn’t take long. Sylvia smiled and I turned to her. “Do you still have all those Xena episodes you recorded? I remember we had so much fun watching them.” Sylvia smiled. “Not anymore. I don’t even have a VCR anymore. Got Xena on DVD though. I like that better because the captioning actually works.” “Cool,” I said. Jeff and Violet came back up the stairs with the remaining two boxes. “Where do you want your supplies?” asked Violet. I felt my face get warm. “Put them on the floor of my closet.” “Okay, we got to go,” said Jeff. He smiled at me. “Thanks for staying with us.” “Thanks for letting me live with you,” I said. I waved goodbye as Jeff and Violet left me. Sylvia stood beside me and smiled. “Supplies?” asked Sylvia. “She left you diapers, didn’t she?” My face burned with embarrassment. “They are just for at night. Soon I won’t need them for that anymore.” “Calm down,” she said. “No one is going to dictate your wardrobe. You can wear what you want. Peter’s not here to make you dress like a stripper and Violet is not here to make you dress like a baby.” “I am a college student and will dress like that again,” I said. She rubbed my head. “I kind of miss the long hair.” “Me too,” I said, “but it is already starting to grow. “Well, let’s put in a Xena DVD and relax for the rest of the evening. “That sounds, fun,” I said. We took our seats on the couch and I felt like my life was slowly getting back together. I just needed a boyfriend. Chapter Twenty-ONe: The Date Sylvia was at work and I had a whole other week until classes started. During the previous days since I had moved in, I was catching up on Xena episodes. Today I was lazy. I slept until eleven and then just got out of bed and sat in front of the TV. I ate cereal for meals and didn’t even change out of last night’s diaper. I was being disgusting and I knew it, but I wasn’t going anywhere and I was home by myself. I thought I would be dressed before Sylvia got home, but I kind of lost track of time. “Beth, why aren’t you dressed?” She walked up to me and looked down. “Are you still in a wet diaper?” “Um, I woke up wet. I’m not using the diaper during the day.” “Well go change, and don’t wear those toddler panties you wear,” she said. “I’m tired of you sitting around being lazy all day. You need to do something more than sitting around the house. Have you even gotten your books yet?” “I bought the books,” I said. “And why do you care what panties I wear anyway.” “I am tired of you just sitting around here, so I set you up on a blind date. He will be here to pick you up in an hour, so get dressed.” “A blind date? I can’t go on a date.” “It’s too late to cancel. Go.” She pushed me toward the bathroom and I started getting undressed. The t-shirt came off and so did my diaper. A quick look in the mirror showed me my short hair was matted against one side of my head where I slept on it. I jumped in the shower and cleaned myself. Since there was a date involved, I started shaving, being careful not to knick the backs of my knees. Once presentable I dried off, wrapped my towel around myself, and went to my room. Sylvia was waiting for me with clothes on my bed. I saw the Victoria’s Secret stuff she had picked out for me and blushed, but put them on and then pulled on the black dress we had gotten at a trip to the mall earlier in the week. Once dressed, she started on my makeup. It was amazing how different a little makeup makes you look and a quick look in the mirror showed that I looked my old self again. “So tell me about this guy you are setting me up with. He won’t hit me, I hope?” “He’d better not,” she said. “Actually this guy is very gentle. He’s also going to the medical school at the university. Don’t you want to date a doctor?” “Yeah, I’d like that.” A doctor. Well, he obviously wasn’t a doctor yet, but he would be someday. “I’m just not sure a doctor would want to date me.” “Oh, of course a doctor would want to date you. Just make sure you don’t spend the night. You don’t want to pee on him.” “Hey,” I said. “I’m starting to have dry nights. Soon, I will be out of diapers for good.” “Not if you sit around in them until five o’clock in the evening.” “I was being irresponsible, but I won’t do that anymore, I guess.” The doorbell rang and Sylvia smiled. “He’s here.” We went to the door and when the Sylvia opened it, I smiled. “Hi,” I said and looked at my date. It was Carlos from the medical supply store. The one where Violet bought my diapers and where I pretended to be brain damaged and incontinent. I hoped he wouldn’t recognize me with the makeup. “Beth?” he asked. “You two know each other?” asked Sylvia. I turned and ran to my room and shut the door. I was humiliated. I lay face down on my bed and cried into my pillow. ### I don’t know how long I lay there crying, but soon Sylvia opened the door and sat on the edge of my bed. “Don’t cry, Beth,” she said. I sat up and sat beside her and looked down at my feet. “How could you set me up with him? You said he was a doctor. He really works at the place Violet bought my diapers from. He thinks I took a tumble from the balcony at my sorority and have brain damage and incontinence. I’ve never been so humiliated.” “What about when you pooped yourself at the Tupperware meeting?” “Not helping. Besides it was some women’s charity thing and not Tupperware.” “Well Carlos and I talked a bit after you ran in your room and I told him you didn’t need diapers anymore and that you are starting classes again this semester.” “That’s so much better,” I said with a sarcastic reply. “So how long did it take before he thought I was disgusting and left?” “He’s still in the living room waiting for me to get you.” I looked at her with surprise. “I am not going on this date,” I said. “He knows about the diapers. I can’t live this down.” “Nonsense,” she said. “Let’s fix your makeup.” She wiped my face with wipes and then began to apply my makeup again. I kept trying to say I couldn’t possibly date Carlos, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after the whole incontinence thing, but she just smiled again. “He likes you, I think.” “I doubt that,” I said. “Let’s go find out,” she said and dragged me out to the living room again. I slowly walked out to the living room again. “I think you two have a lot to talk about and you should do it on your date,” said Sylvia. I looked at Carlos. “Do you really still want to go on this date?” I asked. “I mean the whole point of a blind date is to determine if the other person is undatable or not and you already know that.” “I still want to go out with you tonight,” he said. “Even if the date doesn’t work out, the tickets to the symphony were $36.00 each and I really don’t want to let one ticket go to waste.” He reached down and gently took my hand and led me toward the door. “Have fun,” said Sylvia. “Besides, I want the place to myself until at least midnight.” I gave her my deer-in-headlights look as I was guided toward Carlos’s car. “Nice Jaguar,” I said. “It’s only a 92,” he said. When I am really a doctor I will have a new one.” I sat down in the car and stared at my lap. A quick glance in the side view mirror confirmed that my face wasn’t as red as it felt, but the night was still young. “There are so many things I want to ask you,” he said. “Your roommate said you never had brain damage. I saw the nasty mark on your head. I guessed you suffered a severe concussion at the very least. Is that why you are in diapers.” I sighed. He was going to ask about this and I had to tell him. “I am not in diapers anymore.” I flipped my dress up a bit to prove I was wearing panties, black lacy Victoria’s Secret ones. “The reason I wore the diapers all the time is because of Violet.” I told him my story. By the time I finished, we arrived at the restaurant. “So you’ve been out of diapers at least a month?” he asked. “That sounds about right,” I said. I let him lead me into the restaurant. We made small talk and he actually asked what I thought about things. It was exciting. I was a bit deprived media-wise, so any TV or movie related trivia since after I moved in with Peter was basically non-existent, but we talked about school and what I wanted to do. “So what do you want to do?” I asked. “I know you said doctor, but are you specializing in anything?” “I really want to be a brain surgeon. I want to heal injuries like you had--I mean like you pretended to have.” “Now I feel awful lying to you,” I said. “It’s fine. Just don’t lie to me again,” he said. “I know you’re still in diapers, at least part time.” I looked at him shocked. “Did Sylvia tell you I was still bedwetting?” I hissed so my voice wouldn’t carry in the restaurant. “It’s becoming less and less frequent, I swear.” “She didn’t have to tell me. Your babysitter, Lillie, stopped in this morning and bought some more supplies for you. She has been buying them frequent enough that you would have to be wearing them all the time.” “What?” I asked. “Lillie stopped in this morning and said Violet was busy and she sent her to the store to get some supplies for you.” “But Lillie just watched me that one weekend when you stopped her from lifting my skirt. Are you saying she bought me more supplies? Violet left me with enough to wear one every night for the next three months. Why would Lillie be buying them?” So many things clicked into place. Lillie had been wearing diapers all the time since that weekend. The diapers she kept in her backpack, the time spent alone in her room, even the times she put them on from time to time. However she wasn’t wearing them every time, so that must mean that she doesn’t really need them. She’d been using my situation to cover for her own diaper buys. “Yeah,” he said, “she even dragged a boyfriend with her. He just seemed embarrassed and just complained that she was spending all her time before college started babysitting ‘that retarded woman’ instead of hanging out with him.” I frowned. “I wasn’t playing the part of a retarded person.” “I know,” he said. “Why else would she buy diapers if not for you?” “I think she is wearing them herself,” I said. “That woman embarrassed me all over the place. She thought I was handicapped so I had to play along when she changed me in front of her boyfriend and outed me to the staff at Hot Topic. Violet was discreet and we only played up the handicapped angle when it was impossible to hide the fact that I wore diapers. I’d like to give her an embarrassing moment. Just tell her you know they are for her when she comes to buy them, preferably when her boyfriend is along.” “We try not to embarrass people buying incontinent products at the store,” said Carlos. “I can’t just accuse her of buying them for herself. “Sorry for getting you in the middle of this. I don’t suppose it is possible to forget all about the diapers and pretend all this stuff never happened. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you and it killed me that we met as I was being sized for incontinent products.” He smiled at me. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Speaking of confessions, I thought you were beautiful when you walked in that day. It killed me when your aunt led me to believe you had the problems we thought you did.” “Thanks,” I said. “I wish you would have seen me when I had hair. There was really real head injury that required stitches, so they shaved my head.” I gave a pouty frown. He smiled and reached across the table and brushed my hair with a hand. “It’s starting to grow back.” “I hope so,” I said. “So what are you studying in college this year?” “Electrical engineering,” I said. “I know, it’s pretty nerdy.” I smiled. “I almost would rather take history or English. I managed to get a creative writing course in this semester as an elective.” “Nice. Do you like to write?” “Well, when I was living as Violet’s baby, I could only do one adult thing and that was read novels. Her husband Jeff had a large collection of science fiction books and I grabbed onto those and read during every spare moment. I’ve read enough of them that I think I may be able to do better.” I smiled again. “I have taken physics classes, for example.” “I actually have only read medical books the last couple of years.” He smiled. We finished dinner and then drove to the concert hall. After the awkward diaper conversation in the restaurant, the date began to be a normal date. Well, not quite normal. It was still a first date, so I wasn’t yet called stupid or ugly, and I wasn’t hit when I made a mistake. Carlos was pretty gentle actually and so my expectations were based on my experiences with Peter. I had never been to a symphony before. Peter just listened to classic rock and nothing else was ever allowed on the radio. I used to listen to what I wanted when he wasn’t home, but stopped after forgetting to change the station back one day. There was actually live music and they played classical music. The music started to play and I let him put his arm around me while we listened to the orchestra. After, we left in his car and I smiled. “You know Sylvia is going to want to know everything,” I said. “Well, I’ll never kiss and tell,” he said. “I don’t care about the telling,” I said. “Let’s work on the kissing.” I reached for him, but he guided me back in my seat. “Let’s kiss at my place.” ### My head lay against Carlos’s chest as we lay in bed together. I really felt relaxed even though our love making was quite a workout. “Let’s get some rest,” he said and reached toward the lamp. “Tomorrow I will make you breakfast in bed.” I froze and then when I had my senses back I grabbed the arm he was reaching for the lamp with. “Um, Carlos, I need to get back home. Sylvia will be worried.” “Just call Sylvia and tell her you are spending the night,” he suggested. “Carlos, I--,” I started. “I wet the bed and need a diaper,” I whispered. “You said you didn’t do it every night anymore,” he said. “I don’t know ahead of time if tonight is one of the nights I wet,” I said. “I don’t want to pee on my new boyfriend.” “Did you just call me your boyfriend?” He kissed me which caused us to make out until we were both worn out again. I sat up and then got out of bed and started to pull on my clothes again. “So will you take me home?” He took me by the waist and smiled. “Yes,” he said and gave me a kiss. ### It’s funny how a relationship blossomed from one blind date when I thought we’d never be together. However, I don’t think Carlos would have given me a second date if we hadn’t met during our unusual circumstances. College is the time to grow in your life and try new things. However like anything, an education needs to be complete. I wonder how my life would have been different if I wouldn’t have dropped out of college to be with Peter. The whole relationship with him was a mistake, but if I could change it I don’t think I would. If I never learned the lessons from Peter, I would have graduated much earlier and never been around to meet Carlos. I wouldn’t change that for the world. The diapers? Maybe I wouldn’t give that up either. Sometimes Carlos wants to relive how we first met, only it is he and not Violet that changes me. Besides, even though I promised that the bedwetting would go away, it still happens a couple times a week. At least he doesn’t mind that I have to put on a diaper after we make love. And the fact that Carlos and I are dating at all is a miracle that Sylvia keeps congratulating herself for. Maybe she is right. I may not have trusted men enough to date again after Peter, if she wouldn’t have set up the blind date and I never would have approached Carlos on my own since I knew he knew about my time as a surrogate baby for Violet. The real miracle was that all things worked out in the end. Afterward: A Customer at My College Job I stacked large cases of adult diapers on the shelves at the medical supply store and smiled. There really were a lot of styles and I was mainly a stocker since the position opened up when Carlos couldn’t put as much time in at the store due to his increased studies. The job gave me an income and I didn’t have to rely on Violet and Jeff as much for college money. I really enjoyed the work and no one really said anything about me being a customer there for a while. Carlos and the owner were the only ones who really knew about it, so the secret was safe. However, I was working on Saturday and Carlos was there too, working the counter. Since he was almost a doctor he could answer questions better and he actually knew what all of the products were for. I heard him thank a customer he rang up and then I heard a familiar voice as he dealt with the next customer. “Hi, Carlos. I was sent down here to get some more adult diapers. They’re for Beth.” I peeked around the corner. It was Lillie and her boyfriend. Why he consented to being dragged here was beyond me. However, he was here. “Oh, hi Lillie,” said Carlos. “Will it be the Molicares again? And how is she doing?” “She says a word now and then, but it really isn’t contextual. Violet thought the talking would mean she is ready for potty training, but that didn’t really work. Hence, the reason I am here.” “You spend too much time babysitting that retard,” her boyfriend said. “Well, I’ll have our new stocker get your order for you,” said Carlos. He called in my direction. “Elizabeth, will you get a case of medium Molicares for a customer?” I should mention that I decided to go by Elizabeth since starting college. Beth is too much of a baby name. I don’t really let anyone call me that anymore, except when Carlos and I play in the bedroom, and that is just in certain babyish scenarios. “Sure thing, boss,” I said and grabbed a case of the purple adult diapers that Lillie fell in love with. I came out and set the case on the counter. Her boyfriend stared at me and then recognition suddenly registered in his eyes. “Hey, aren’t you Beth?” he asked. “It’s Elizabeth, but last time I saw you, I wasn’t talking. I’m better now.” “But why are you still...,” he trailed of and looked at Lillie. “Where are you going when you pack a bag and go home to babysit every weekend?” Realization dawned on him and then he got a look of disgust on his face. “Brian?” “I’ll take you home,” he said, “but then we are through.” He looked at her again. “Eww, just eww.” After they left, Carlos smiled at me. “I’ll never leave you,” he said. The End.
  12. A Second Chance

    This is a complete story about a young man forced into diapers by his step-mother after he messes up. A Second Chance Before I start this, I should note that my step-mother is not the evil woman I thought she was, and my younger step-sister is not the obnoxious little brat I remember when I was younger. In fact, despite giving them many years of grief and disrespect, they have treated me as family and loved me more than I deserve. My mom and dad were never married but did live together when I was little. I don’t remember very much about that time. After he left, I lived with my mom. I would get to see my dad on weekends, and the occasional week when my mom didn’t want me around. My parents passed me along like unwanted baggage, and I would end up staying with whatever parent had to take me in. My dad started dating Ashley when I was nine years old, and while Ashley was always very nice- she wasn’t my mother. I hated her and I hated her little daughter. Emily was four years younger than me, and just a little Kindergartener. I thought she was just a little kid who was stealing my dad. Part of the problem was that my dad treated Emily has a daughter. Emily’s father had been killed when she as very young, and my dad was the man she knew as a father. I was jealous because she got my dad all the time, while I could only see him on weekends. I was also jealous because their house was nicer than my mom’s home. It was bigger, and Emily had more toys than I had growing up. It wasn’t fair. And it was a nicer She lived full-time with my dad, and I was jealous that this relative stranger got to have my dad all to herself, while I lived in a smaller house and only got to see him on weekends. It wasn’t just their house that was nicer. For example, I used to wet my bed when I was younger.I guess my dad wet the bed when he was young as well, so it was something that I inherited from him. My mom hated it, and would yell, punish, and even humiliate me because of it. She never put me in diapers, but she threatened to get some diapers for me many times. Ashley was never mean about it. She made sure my mattress was protected and would help me get clean in the morning.I would feel bad and apologize because I was used to my mom getting mad about it. But Ashley would just say, “That’s ok. I know you aren’t doing it on purpose.” Emily was fully potty trained before I even knew her, which was another reason that I hated her. It was embarrassing to have a little sister completely potty trained, while I still wet my bed. Despite that, Emily never teased me about it, and Ashley never yelled at me. Unfortunately, my dad had to travel a lot, and I didn’t get see him as much. If my dad was out of town, I didn’t come over for the weekend. I started to rebel against everything as a teenager. I didn’t like my dad not spending time with me, and took it out on the whole family, especially Ashley. I was rude, and wouldn’t listen to her. I don’t think I said three words to her for the four years I was in high school. I graduated from high school, but only barely. I couldn’t get a full-time job and didn’t want to go back to school. I spent most of my days playing video games and doing drugs. I didn’t have very many friends, and the few that I had grew up and moved on.At nineteen my mom got tired of my bullshit and kicked me out, and with no place else to go I moved in with my dad and Ashley. There was a still a lot of conflicts. My dad wanted me to go back to school, or find some kind of job, but I wasted every single opportunity I had. My dad got me a job in Alaska, but I was fired for smoking pot in the dorm. Emily and Ashley tried to help me, but I rebutted every chance I got. I was happy smoking pot, playing video games, and living in the basement. Oh yeah, and I was still wetting that bed, but wouldn’t wash my own laundry. Shortly after my 22nd birthday I was arrested for drunk driving, which caused me to lose my driver’s license, and made me it ever more difficult to get a job. I was arrested again a month later for public intoxication. Despite not being charged, this was the last straw. My dad wanted to kick me out, but I listened as Ashley argued in my favor. “You can’t kick him out. He has no place else to go.” “And whose fault is that?” My dad replied. “He’s family.” “But he’s been so rude.” “He is still your son, which makes him my son too. And I refuse to kick out family when they are in need.” I went downstairs feeling bad for all the things I had said to Ashley, especially since I knew she was the only reason I wasn’t homeless. That night my dad came into my room and said, “Well you can stay, but I want to you thank Ashley for that.” I nodded. “And I want to you start treating her with respect, and acting like you’re part of this family. If I find out that you’ve disobeyed Ashley, you will be out on the street. Do you understand?” “Yes, sir.” “Now go up and thank Ashley for saving your ass.” I went upstairs and politely thanked Ashley, and apologized. Ashley gave me a stern look and said, “There are going to be some changes, but I’ll wait until the morning to go over them.” My dad added, “And don’t you even think about complaining about it. No matter what Ashley says, your only response is ‘Yes Ma’am.’ Do you understand?” I nodded and went downstairs. I wondered what the new rules would be, but I just went back to playing my video until the middle of the night. The next morning Ashley came downstairs with Emily and woke me up. She said, “It’s time to get up because we have a lot of work to do. First, let’s go over the new rules. You will only have 3 hours of internet time. I have a time, and it will stop after 3 hours. I expect you to eat breakfast with the family in the morning, which means getting up by 8:30, and we will eat dinner. If you can’t make dinner, you are to call me. I nodded. “And there is only one more rule. We are going to clean this room today, and I want to you to keep it that way. That means you are going to have to sleep in these,” and she put a package of Pull Up Style diapers on the bed. “Those are diapers! I don’t want to wear those.” I protested. “Yes, and you wet the bed. That’s not your fault, but you’re old enough to take care of it, and we don’t want this God Awful smell in our house.” I had no choice and figured she couldn’t make me anyway. What was she going to do? Come down to my bedroom at night to make sure I was in Pullups. We cleaned my room. In truth, it was mostly Ashley and Emily, but I helped. That night Ashley came down and said, “I just want to make sure you got dressed for bed. Do you have your Pullups on?” “No, but I’m not going to bed yet.” Ashley didn’t budge. “I didn’t ask that. Put on those Pullups, and I’ll let you play your game. “ I looked at Ashley and asked, “Are you going to watch me?” “Do you think it’s anything I haven’t seen? I can always go buy some diapers for you.” I stripped and put a clean pair of Pullups. “That’s good, and those better still be on in the morning.” Ashley woke me up in the morning and right away noticed my wet Pullups. “I see you were good and used the Pullup.” “But they were wet.” “Well, that’s why you’re wearing them. Get changed and come upstairs for breakfast.” I was mostly good during that day. I ended up using my 3 hours of internet, but my phone had a hot spot, and I used the hot spot for most of the day. They had to call down twice to dinner, but I ate dinner without complaining and was fairly nice to Ashley and Emily. The only issue was bedtime. Ashley didn’t come down, so I went to bed without my Pullups. The next morning Ashley woke me and immediately saw that I had wet the bed. She was furious. “You can’t be serious!” She screamed. “I’m tired of this. Get out of bed right now!” I’ve never heard Ashley cuss, but she came close that time. “Get your butt out of that bed right now!” I was shocked but got out of bed. “Ok, now come with me.” “But I’ve got to change my clothes,” I whined. “No, you don’t. You’re going to stay in those wet panties until I get back.” I’ve never seen Ashley spank, or use any physical force, but when I wasn’t matching her pace she grabbed my ear and pulled me along into the kitchen. Emily was eating her breakfast and asked, “What happened?” Ashley said, “He didn’t wear his Pullups, and wet the bed.” I couldn’t see Emily’s face, but I imagined she was sneering at me. Ashley walked me to the corner and said, “Stand here and don’t move.” She grabbed my sweatpants and began to pull them down. I instinctively grabbed to hold them up, but Ashley swatted my hands away. She pulled down my wet underwear and gave me a hard spank with her open hand. “Stay still!” “Ow BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK!” I screamed back. Ashley regained her composure, and calmly looked at Emily and said, “It’s in the left drawer.” I turned around to see what she was getting, but Ashley gave me another swat. This time not as hard as the first one, but got my attention. “Look at the wall.” I heard Emily, “Here you go, mom.” “Thanks, honey.” I saw Ashley holding a pacifier, and tried to stick it in my mouth. I clenched my teeth, but Ashley spanked me once again and when I opened my mouth she plopped the pacifier in it. “We don’t use those words in this house. Keep this in your mouth until I take it.” Ashley looked at Emily and said, “I’ve got to go out and get some supplies. If he tries to move from that corner swat his little behind.” “Sure thing.” Ashley gave me one more swat and said, “You! Stay in this corner and mind your sister.” I was humiliated but wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I didn’t know if I was about to be kicked out, but Ashley didn’t say anything to me or threatened. I knew my dad would kick me out if he heard me scream at Ashley, so I was at her mercy. I was standing in the corner with my pants around my ankles like a naughty child. I tried to test Emily and started to turn my head. WHAP! Emily gave me a strong spank and firmly pointed at the corner. “Look in the corner.” I began to feel pressure in my bowel and knew my morning ritual was coming due. I reached to remove the pacifier, but another spank stopped me. “Keep that in your mouth.” I spoke through the pacifier. “I need to go to the bathroom.” “Don’t talk.” She warned. “But, it’s poop.” I cried. Emily stayed silent and I couldn’t see what she was doing. I squirmed around and waited. “Mom said you can go in your pants.” Ashley wanted me to shit my pants! I was stunned. “She wants me to shit my pants,” I mumbled. Once again a firm swat came down on my legs, and Emily said, “NO TALKING!” I stayed in the corner for what seemed like an eternity. I heard a knock on the door and Emily shouted, “Hi Heather, I’m in the kitchen! Come on in!” What, Emily’s friend Heather was going to see me in the corner. I tried to move, but Emily warned, “Stay in the corner!” Heather walked in to see me with my wet sweatpants around my ankles, a pacifier in my mouth, and my nose firmly planted in the corner of the room. “What’s up with your brother?” “He wet the bed.” “Doesn’t he always do that?” Heather asked. “Yeah, but my mom gave him some Pullups to wear. She trusted him to be a big boy and put them on for himself, but he couldn’t handle that. So if he is going to act like a baby, we will treat him like one.” “Hey!” I shouted, and my pacifier dropped from my mouth. WHAP! A hard spank. “Did I say you could speak? Now keep your pacifier in your mouth, and stay in the corner” Heather laughed and said, “It’s about time. He’s been a brat since I’ve known you.” “Seriously,” Emily replied. I’m not sure how much longer I was in the corner, but it was enough that I had to pee. I started to do the potty dance, which only made Emily bark “Stop moving.” “But I need to pee.” I cried. “Do you need to potty?” Emily asked in a patronizing tone. I nodded. “That’s why you’re wearing a diaper.” By this point, I was thoroughly defeated and just wanted the humiliation to end. I concentrated and a small stream of urine rolled down my leg. Heather looked and said, “He’s peeing on the floor.” Emily goes, “Oh, that’s good.” I expected her to mock me, but instead, Emily just came by with a towel and began to clean the puddle. “There, doesn’t that feel better.” I had to admit it felt nice to ease that pressure. I heard Heather ask, “Why aren’t you yelling at him for peeing his pants?” “Well, I told him to. And besides, it’s not healthy to hold your pee.” Eventually, I heard Ashley return, and Emily cried “Hi mom, do you need any help?” “No, just keep watching Mark. Has he been good?” “Ok. At first not so good, but he’s been good since Heather got here.” “Oh, Heather is here. Heather, can you help me while Emily watches her brother?” I stayed in the corner and finally, Ashley came in. She was calm, but firm and said. “I spoke to your father about what happened this morning, and he’s agreed with me. Here he wants to talk with you.” Ashley handed me the phone. “Hi, dad.” “Mark, I’m frustrated, and the only reason you still have a roof is that of your step-mother won't let me. Now, she is going to give you some new rules, and the only words that you can say back are ‘Yes, Ma’am,’ I will see you when I get home.” I didn’t even get the chance to say ‘Good Bye.’ “Did your dad speak to you?” Ashley asked. “Yes Ma’am” I politely replied. “Good, now remember that when I show you your new room.” “Yes Ma’am.” She took me into a small den that now looked like a nursery. My old bed had bars which made it look like a crib, there was changing table on the other side. I was stunned, and in a defeated voice I said, “It’s a crib.” Ashley stayed calm. “That’s right. Since I can’t trust you to act like a young man, I have no choice but to treat you like a baby. For now, you will be sleeping in this room. Your bedtime will be 8:30, and you will have a nap in the afternoon. You can forget about using the potty because from now on you are in diapers. And don’t even think about using the potty like a big boy. You use your diapers, and Emily or I will change them. Do you understand?” I wanted to scream but knew I had little choice. I had no place else to go, and anything but a polite “Yes, Ma’am,” would likely get me kicked out. Ashley scowled, “And stop calling me Ma’am. I’m not some kind of stranger. Call me mommy, or mom!” “But you’re not my mom,” I whined. “I’ve been your mom for ten years. You biological mom kicked you out and did nothing to teach you how to be a man. Which is why I’m going to have to do it. I’ve earned the right to be called mommy.” She was right. Ashley had been a mom to me for ten years. Much more than my actual mom, and even though I complained about it, I knew she cared. That’s more than I could say for my real mom. I genuinely felt guilty for all the heartache I had caused, and regretfully cried “I’m sorry, mommy.” I don’t know how it came out. I had never called Ashley mom in all my life, much less use ‘mommy’. Emily would occasionally use ‘mommy’ with her mother, and almost always called my dad, ‘daddy’, but I was a 22-year-old male who had just called his step-mother ‘mommy’.It didn’t feel so strange at the time, especially because I was still standing in my wet pajamas and about to be put in a diaper. I think Ashley was touched by the ‘mommy’ comment. It was a term of endearment and respect that she had been waiting for all those years. She put the pacifier in my mouth and gently hugged me. She chose her words carefully and said, “I know honey. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and get some breakfast.” Ashley helped me on to the changing table and pulled off my wet pants. The urine had dried on my legs, and Ashley used wipes to get them clean as well as cleaning my bottom. The powder sent me on a wave of nostalgia. I was ten years the last time somebody put a diaper on me, and that was when my mom got mad at my bedwetting. It was a heartless act that was done to humiliate me, and she shamed me while doing it. This time was very different. Even though it was humiliating, Ashley didn’t make it feel that way. She didn’t shame me for wearing a diaper. Instead, she made it seem like this was just something I needed, just like I was much younger and not ready to use the potty. She unfurled a regular diaper from the drug store and pulled the tabs over the edge. “I’ve bought some better diapers for you, but they won’t get here for a week. For now, you’re just going to have to use these diapers.” Ashley finished with my diapers and helped me in some sweatpants and a simple pastel blue t-shirt. She finished and said, “Now Emily tells me that you asked to poo, so I expect a poopy diaper very soon.” There was nothing specifically that said ‘BABY’ in my outfit, but we both knew what was beneath my sweatpants. Emily and Heather knew as well, and Heather mockingly said: “Oh, what a cutie.” Emily chimed in, “He is, isn’t he?” I was lead to the table and my new mommy lifted me into one of our barstools. I got in the barstool, and Emily brought over a tray that connected to the arms. It had just been converted into a large high chair. Emily said, “Now stay still, and we will get you some breakfast. Do you want some cereal?” I was hungry and gave a slight nod. They brought me a bowl of cereal and baby bottle. “Can you eat this by yourself, or do you need me to feed you?” Emily seemed to be enjoying her new role. I didn’t respond and just ate my cereal. As I ate I began to regain my pride and realized I was reduced to nothing but a baby. I wonder how long this would last, and looked at Ashley. “Ashley, how long will I be like this?” Ashley didn’t answer, but said, “What do you call me?” “Mommy,” I said with my head dropped in shame. “Mommy, how long will I be like this?” She responded, “I don’t know. Until I think you’re ready to be a big boy.” “But why do I need the high chair and baby bottle?” “Because that’s what little boy’s need. Now, remember, we need you to go poopy in that diaper pretty soon.” I finished my cereal and started to drink from the bottle. I was thirsty, and my pride was already defeated. Ashley saw me finish my bottle and asked Emily, “Emily, can you clean Mark’s tray up before he makes any more of a mess?” Emily walked over and said, “You finished all of your cereal. That’s a good boy.” She used a towel to wipe my face, and then put the pacifier in my mouth. “Stay here and then we will play after we clean up.” I stayed in the high chair and began to feel more pressure in my bowels. I knew I wasn’t going to use the toilet for this poop, and some part of me wanted to give them a very messy diaper. My face contorted and I began to groan. Heather was a little put off by it and said: “I think he’s pooping.” Ashley glanced over at Heather and seemed to give her a disapproving look. I guess she didn’t want any negativity associated with pooping in a diaper. Heather quickly said, “I’m sorry,” and Ashley nodded to accept the apology. I completed my duty and had a fairly full diaper. I said, “There I pooped. Can I get out this thing to change my diaper?” Ashley glared back, “PUT THAT PACIFIER BACK IN YOUR MOUTH! YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE WHEN YOUR DIAPER IS CHANGED.” She sighed and finished, “We will change you when we are ready.” I hurriedly put the pacifier back in my mouth and sat quietly in the high chair. A little more filled my diaper, and the smell began to permeate the room. Heather and Emily eventually left the living room, which was a bit further from the aroma. Eventually, Ashley came in and said, “Let’s check that diaper.” She lifted the back of my diaper and said, “My, that’s a good poop. I bet you feel so much better, don’t you?” I nodded. “Let’s get you into a nice clean diaper.” She called out her daughter, “Emily, why don’t you come dear? Then I can show you how to change a poopy diaper.” “I already know how to change poopy diapers, I’ve babysat babies before.” “Yeah, but those were smaller kids. It’s a little different with a big one like this.” The three of us went to the nursery and Ashley began to share how to change my diapers. “Now wet diapers are pretty much the same as little kids. But there is more poop with older ones like him than the little guys you’re used to. If you need to, take him to the shower and use the hose to clean his bottom.” If Ashley was put off by the messy diaper, she didn’t show it. She even stressed the same thing to Emily. “Now, even if it’s really smelly, it’s important that Mark poops in his diaper. Make sure to praise him for going poopy. We don’t want him holding back his poops. I think that might be the problem with his bedwetting, especially with these firm poops. You also need to really clean his bottom. I don’t think he was doing that very well. Just keep him calm, and take your time.” They spoke as though I didn’t know what they were saying. I just laid back on the changing table and let Ashley change my diaper. She finished, helped me into my sweatpants and then praised me. “You were such a good boy. Thank you for being so good.” I went back to the living room and Emily asked, “Do you want to play a game?” I nodded, and the two girls and I played UNO for a while. I got carried away with the game and almost forgot my infantile status. Eventually, Ashley came in and said, “It’s time for your nap?” “A few more minutes,” I cried. “No, I want you to get used to the new routine. You need a nap.” Emily and Heather were already putting away the cards. Emily calmly said, “Its ok. We will still be here when you get up.” Heather used a babyish voice and said, “Bye Bye. It was fun playing with you. If you’re good, we can do it again.” Ashley led me to the nursery and checked my diaper. “It’s not very wet. Don’t hold back your pee.” She dropped the side of my crib and gently pushed me in. She pulled the covers over my body and said, “Get some sleep.” “I’m not tired.” “I think you are. You’ve had a big day.” She kissed me on the forehead, lifted the bars and said, “Sleep tight but don’t leave this crib until we wake you up. I’ve got a baby monitor, so I will know.” She turned out the lights and shut the door. I was lying in the crib and wondering what my new life would be like. How long would I live like this? Would I ever get my adult life back? I decided to test my freedom and began to climb out of the crib. A voice came from the monitor, “LIE BACK DOWN!” I laid down, and a calmer voice came over “That’s a good boy.” I wasn’t that tired, and it was hard to fall asleep. But I didn’t have any perspective on what time it was. There wasn’t any clock, and the nursery didn’t have any outside windows. The room was largely dark, except for a dim night light in the corner. I just laid there thinking. I must have eventually fallen asleep because eventually, Emily came in to wake me up. In a calm voice, she said, “Get up. Mommy doesn’t want you sleeping for long because then you won’t go to bed.” She began to check my diaper, and I instinctively swatted at her hands. It was one thing for Ashley to check a diaper, but Emily was my little sister. Emily pushed my arms away and said, “Stop it. I need to check your diaper.” “I don’t want you to change my diaper?” I whined. “Well, you don’t have a choice, do you? You might as well get used to it since mom and dad are paying me to be your new nanny.” “What? When did that happen?” “Mommy told me while you were napping. She told me to treat you just like I would any other three-year-old.” She felt my diaper, which was thoroughly used. I didn’t remember peeing, but my diaper was very wet. “That’s such a good boy. You went pee pee in your diaper, and are being very healthy. Let’s get you into a nice dry diaper.” This time it was Emily who changed my diaper, but she handled the change with the same level of care that her mother did. I must admit, even though it was degrading, I kind of enjoyed having my diaper changed. Instead of being shamed and punished when I used my diaper, I was praised for it. It was far nicer than the shame I felt when I wet the bed. I came into the living room and saw a playpen set up in the corner. Ashley looked at me and said, “Do you see the playpen?” I nodded. “That’s just in case. You’ve been such a good boy this today, so I’m going to let you play in the room. But if you don’t obey the adults, I’m going to have to put you in the playpen. Do you understand?” “Yes, Ma’am.” Ashley raised her eyebrows, and I immediately went “Yes, mommy.” “That’s better. Did Emily tell you her new job?” I nodded and replied, “Yes mommy.” “That’s right, she is going to be your nanny. I can’t look after you like a little baby, and Emily needs the money for college. So your daddy and I are going to pay Emily to be your nanny. What do you think of that?” I wanted to say the truth, but I didn’t have much of choice. I just nodded. Ashley looked at Emily and said, “I don’t think you should call by her name either. You’re now just a little boy, and need to respect your elders?” “She’s younger than me.” I cried. “She is, but she doesn’t need diapers does she? She can drive a car and has had a full-time job. She has grown up, while you still act like a little boy. That’s why we have to treat like a little boy, don’t we?” She asked Emily, “Emily, what do you want to be called?” “When I used to babysit the little kids called me ‘Nanny’.” “That’s a good. From now on, she is ‘Nanny’?” I resigned to my fate. “Ok.” “Ok, what?” “Ok, mommy.” “That’s better. I bet you’re thirsty.” Emily filled a bottle with water and handed it to me. She raised her eyebrows and said, “What do you say?” “Thank you, Emily.” Without missing a beat, Emily said, “What are you supposed to call me?” “Nanny.” “Now say it again.” “Thank you, nanny.” “That’s better. You’re welcome. Now drink this all up.” The two of them teamed up to train me to my role. I finished my bottle, and Emily took it. “That’s a good boy. Did you enjoy that?” I nodded, but Emily didn’t accept that. “Tell nanny how much you enjoyed your bottle.” “I liked it.” “I liked it, what?” “I liked it, nanny.” I was constantly asked questions that required me to respond with either ‘mommy’ or ‘nanny’. If I did respond right, I was praised. If I didn’t, I was scolded. By dinner, I used ‘mommy’ and ‘nanny’ without much prompting. It wasn’t natural, and I only did it to avoid being reprimanded, but it wasn’t a fight I needed to win. It’s been such a long time now that it’s strange for me to call them anything else. My sister is my nanny, and my step-mother is my mommy. It’s not just because I have to. By now it’s because it feels right. They are the ones who have cared for me and loved me, and really are my mom and nanny. I sat in my high chair, and at my entire dinner without too much fuss. Mommy praised me for eating so well, and then said, “Nanny, why don’t you go get Mark bathed and ready for bed.” Emily hesitated, and asked, “Are you sure?” The idea of an 18-year-old stepsister giving her 22-year-old stepbrother a bath seemed inappropriate. But Ashley didn’t want it to seem that way and quickly replied. “Yes, it’s important that he gets used to seeing you as his nanny. As his nanny, until he is ready to do it himself, you need to make sure he is bathed. You would do it for any other child, right?” She became my real nanny right there. “You’re right. It’s just like any other child.” She wiped my face and removed my tray. “Come on you. Let’s get you a bath.” She felt my soggy diaper and said, “I think you need a diaper change anyway. You used your diaper like a good boy.” It felt a little strange, but Emily tried to make me feel comfortable. It was made even stranger by the request that my new mommy made before I was taken for my bath. “I think you should shave his hair down. It’s going to be a lot easier if he doesn’t have any hair.” One of the concerns that we both had was getting aroused, but this never happened. I’ve never felt aroused by Emily in all the time that I knew her. It’s not that she is not attractive in any way, but I just don’t see her that way. Before that, she was just a little sister that I didn’t give too much thought about. She was always nice to me, but I mostly ignored her. After that, she was the one who looked after me. Ashley was the one in charge, but Emily was the one took care of me. In fact, in all the time I’ve lived like this, I’ve never once gotten an erection from Emily. Her friend Heather has changed my diaper a bunch of times and it happens a lot. It even happens with Ashley, which is always embarrassing. They just use a cold towel, and my soldier loses its will. I was tired by bedtime. I finished my bath and came down to watch some television and then Emily took me up to bed at 8:15. She put me in the crib and read a story. I forget which story she read, but I remember feeling very relaxed and loved. My parents used to read stories to me when I was very young, but it hadn’t happened in a long time. She finished the story and kissed my forehead. Ashley did the same, and said, “Good night. Thank you for being such a good boy and letting us take care of you.” I slept really well that night. I fell asleep pretty quickly and didn’t wake up until the morning when Ashley woke me. My diaper was soaked, and I was expecting to be punished for the wet diaper. Instead, Ashley praised me for use my diaper. I soon discovered their method. I was praised when my diaper was wet, or messy, but scolded when I didn’t use the diaper. I wasn’t even supposed to acknowledge that I needed a change. They ignored me if I did, and I would be punished if I kept asking. I was mostly good the next day, but I didn’t want to poop in a diaper.Over the last few days, I had been using laxatives. Emily gave me cod liver oil and fed me a whole bunch of fruit. She kept handing me bottles of water, but I still didn’t poo. Eventually, I was given an enema, and that cleaned me up. After that, my diet kept me naturally regular and I didn’t have much choice but to use my diaper. Things went so much easier for me when I didn’t question their authority.If I was good, I was given treats and privileges. But if I tried to fight my boundaries, I was quickly punished with more restrictions. I wasn’t allowed to leave the room without an adult, and when I tried to walk out of the room I was confined in the playpen. On the 3rd day, I refused to go down for my nap. Emily tried to get me into the nursery, but I ran away from her. I don’t know why I did it, but I guess I was just trying to regain some independence. Emily caught me, dragged me to the corner, and pulled down my sweatpants. She made me stand in the corner in just my wet diaper for the entire nap time. Two hours later she asked, “Are you ready to be a good boy?” “Yes, nanny.” I cried. “Good. Let’s get you changed. Since you were naughty and didn’t take your nap, you’re going straight to bed.” It was only 4 pm, but I was led to my nursery, changed, put in my pajamas and into my crib. No story, no goodnight kiss. I just had a dark room to keep me company. Emily can in with a bottle of Ensure for my dinner, and then left me in the nursery for the remainder of the night. The next morning I was put in the high chair and had no spoon. Ashley calmly said, “When little boys are naughty they can’t be trusted to feed themselves. Maybe if you’re good, you will appreciate being able to feed yourself.” I was spoon fed every meal and spent rest of the day in the playpen. I was given the privilege of feeding myself after one day and eventually allowed to roam the living room. It soon became apparent my life was much more pleasant if I behaved. If I didn’t, I was given more restrictions and had to earn my rights back. The worst punishment I received was being put in booties and mittens. The booties had a tennis ball sown into the sole, which made it almost impossible to walk. I could walk, but my balance wasn’t very good. The mittens were sown the thumbs, and my hands weren’t useful. I was helpless and needed an adult to help me with everything Emily took care of me most of the time, but Heather was my part-time babysitter as well. Normally she would come over to watch me, but I would occasionally need to go to their house. They even bought a large-sized stroller so they could take me with them if they had to go out. Riding in the stroller can be a little awkward. I’m always worried how it looks, but since it’s a special needs stroller, nobody seems to pay any attention to it. Emily and Heather don’t mind using it because it keeps me close by, and they don’t have to worry about me wandering away. And it’s easier to use the family restrooms should I need a change. They finally potty-trained me six months later. After a while I just stopped fighting their restrictions, and accepted how I was I treated. As I proved that I was able to behave, my restrictions were removed. After six months Ashley decided I was ready to be an adult and went about potty-training me again. For a week, it was just like I was a little kid, and they were teaching me to use the potty on my own. I was taking to the toilet when needed, and gradually given freedom to use the bathroom by myself. After a week I moved back into my bedroom downstairs and was given the same privileges that I used to have. Emily was no longer my nanny, and I could come and go as I pleased. The only warning was that I was supposed to wear diapers at night, and any relapse would result in a return to my infantile status. Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready for the freedom. It wasn’t just that I could come and go as I pleased. Six months in diapers had taken their toll, and I continued to have accidents. I used the toilet fine when I was being watched, but once Emily was no longer there to remind me- I started to have accidents. I’m sure I could have figured that out, but I also reverted back to what I was doing before. I started staying up late and using drugs. A week later Emily caught me smoking pot in my room and told her mother.I was sure that I would be kicked out this time, but instead, I was immediately put back into diapers. I spent the next month in booties and mittens, and it another month before they even let me feed myself. Emily kept a very short leash on me. Unless Emily could watch me without distraction, I had to stay in my playpen at home. And I was confined to the stroller whenever we left the house. It’s been a full year since my relapse and eighteen months since I was first put in diapers. My life has changed completely, but in many ways, it’s quite a bit better. I’ve started to take some classes online and beginning to take some responsibility. But I still rely on Emily and Ashley to take care of me. In most cases, there is little indication of my status as a large toddler. My bedtime is still 8:30, and I’m still taking naps. I still have a full-time babysitter, which is either Emily or Heather. But I don’t use the high chair anymore, and no longer need to stay near the adults. I can do whatever I want at home, as long I let them know where I am. I still wear diapers, but nobody would know if I just went to potty by myself. However, I don’t know if I could, even if I wanted. I’ve been wearing diapers for so long that I don’t even think about it. Somebody always checks my diaper, and I’m still scolded if it’s dry. The only time I ever use the potty is when Heather is watching me. She doesn’t like changing poopy diapers and will take me to the potty if she thinks I might need to poop. However, I usually poop before they take me out of the crib in the morning. I’m still not allowed to leave the house by myself. Somebody has to be with me if I’m out of the house, and they want me to stay close. Emily typically makes me hold her hand, and if I don’t they will put me in the stroller. In fact, the last time I got in real trouble was when Emily and Heather took me shopping. I didn’t want to get put in the stroller and started to pout. Emily agreed to keep the stroller in the car, but I had to stay close. They were looking at clothes, and I got bored. I wandered off, and Emily found me. She just took me to the car and put me in the stroller for the rest of the day.
  13. How I became an Executive Toy Part 1 Hi, I’m Charlie - six months ago I left school and got a job as an office junior in a large building firm. It’s not a very demanding job but they told me that the prospects were good if I had any aptitude. The office is relaxed but everyone dresses rather smartly, no jeans or t-shirts, and most of the guys wear a suit so I do too. I’m always clean, neat and tidy (mum sees to that) and I hope to do well in this my first ever job. I’m 18, slim, 5’6”, OK looking, always polite (again mum’s doing) and very easy to get along with and often don’t need things explaining twice before I can do what is asked of me. Academically I was lazy, and although did OK in my exams, the thought of university life and more schooling just wasn’t me. I wanted to get work and perhaps have three or four years on my peers before they eventually found themselves on the jobs market. ~ They appear to like me in the office and I’ve become fairly popular with my work colleagues. Almost immediately one of the company directors, Mr Wojciechowski, was very friendly and encouraging towards my ambitions - taking me out on the occasional site inspection with him; as he thought that would give me more of an overall view of what the business was about. He’s witty and you can share a joke with him, when he’s around the entire office a nicer place to work. Not like the other two bosses who are also Polish but in all honesty, scare the shit out of me… very officious and demanding. When we went out to the sites together, and it was at least once a week that I accompanied him on a trip, it all seemed so exciting. At my age, and in my first job, I loved the attention and the encouragement he gave, making me feel special and that I could really go places with the firm. He said he liked the way I said “Yes Boss” when he first asked me to do something for him – I think it was to retrieve a file on the computer system. Embarrassingly, I couldn’t remember his name so I meant to say “Yes Sir.” but it came out as “Yes Boss”, apparently I blushed a bright red at my faux pas. It made him smile. ~ One evening, about 2 months ago, when we were returning to base, he said he had to call home first as he’d forgotten some papers. His house on the outskirts of town is terrific; in its own grounds, very expensive, well decorated and I was pretty impressed. He asked if I wanted anything to drink and, looking at the selection of booze set out on a cabinet, felt like he was treating me as an adult and not as one of the office juniors. He disappeared into another room, which I assumed was to get the papers he needed and after a couple of minutes called for me to go through. I went to help and was surprised to see him standing surrounded by loads of baby paraphernalia - it was like a really well equipped and maintained nursery. Colourful walls with cartoon characters, a crib, toys and piles of clothes and diapers, it appeared to have everything but I had no idea why. The boss was smiling at this revelation and asked me what I thought. I didn’t know what to think. I was a bit shocked but, as I had no idea how to react I sort of mumbled some sort of approval though I have no idea why. His eyes lit up with what seemed genuine happiness. “Glad you like it,” he shrugged his shoulders a little relieved, “it’s one of my… things, you know, to help me relax when I get a bit… stressed.” I’m sure many high-powered businessmen get stressed with their jobs and I suppose they all need an outlet, although I always assumed it was booze or recreational sex and drugs, but hey, what do I know? What I wasn’t sure about was why he was confiding this ‘secret’ part of his life to me. “Er.… it’s all very… er… nice and all but,” I wasn’t sure if I dare ask, “why are you showing it to me?” “Well my dear Charlie, you are one of the few good-looking youngsters in our firm and, if you haven’t noticed, I like you a lot.” ~ I was stunned yet pleased at the same time and took in the fact that even though he was in his late 40s he had a very young out-look. The detour to his place was just an excuse to get me alone but when he pulled me against his strong body and told me how good-looking he thought I was, in truth, I was anxious… although mainly flattered by his attention. I’m 18 and have known since before I was a teenager I’m gay but had never acted on my feelings. However, just about any guy looking at me, or me looking at them, gives me an instant hard-on so, with his masculine firm hands touching me, that’s just what happened. He’s not the greatest looking guy, although for his age I suppose he’s OK, but he is very manly and quite an imposing figure… and more importantly, he’s my boss. Now I know my reaction should have been to throw a hissy-fit or storm out but I was dumb-struck as he slipped his hand into my waistband. He flicked the button loose on my trousers, unaided the zip peeled away and they fell to the floor. Although I was shocked, the feelings he was generating in my groin were incredible and I loved it so, when he dragged everything off, including my shoes and socks, I was more excited by the fabulous sensations than alarmed. “God, you are such a pretty… boy.” He breathed with such passion it sent a shiver down my spine. I was taken aback by this. In fact, I was pretty sure I was about to be raped and I didn’t know what to do. The problem was my cock was rampant, and although I was extremely uneasy, I was shaking in thrilled anticipation. This was it, this was the moment, this was when I was no longer going to be a virgin. I was scared. ~ “Do you know just how fucking cute you are?” He whispered in my ear. I wasn’t sure if he expected an answer but in truth I just lay there like a petrified rabbit caught in headlights. He licked my earlobe and then his warm tongue gently intruded deeper. I didn’t know my ear was so damn sensitive and I giggled and squirmed under his gentle touch. “Oh my God… look at you… you are a picture. Sweet, innocent…” He raised his eyebrows perhaps wondering just how innocent I was, “fuck me I want you as my little baby, my little chicken, my little… toy.” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at but he looked me deep in the eye and asked if I’d like to be his ‘Executive Toy’. My brain could come up with no thought of what that might entail so I nervously asked him what that meant. He replied that I just had to be around when he needed some executive relief. “You mean… er… to…” I was naked and looking into the eyes of a man who thinks I’m adorable but I needed to make sure I knew exactly what it was he wanted from me, “to be your… er… boyfriend?” He smiled a strange smile that I hadn’t seen before and slightly shook his head. “Mmmm, maybe but,” he rubbed my naked belly, “I need someone to join me in the nursery and you would be ideal.” ~ I think he could see the total lack of understanding in my eyes, although the stroking of my tummy was having some effect, he expanded on what he thought. “You look so sweet and, with a slight change of hairstyle and, well, other little changes, I think you would be a wonderful playmate.” He changed from rubbing my belly to softly manipulating my rock hard dick. “I get my relaxation from looking after… a baby. Changing him, playing with him, teaching him stuff, reading stories… generally doing… what a daddy should do.” My mind wasn’t really listening because I was swallowed up by the sensations flowing from my balls along my throbbing shaft. “You would be my surrogate baby and I’d look after you,” he looked down at me and I closed my eyes as my orgasm approached; his fingers working the nerves in my bell-end so I could no longer control myself. “You would become my pretty infant son at weekends and, well, whenever I need you to be a sweet, defenceless, innocent baby.” He stopped his long slow massage. “What do you think? Is it something you might like to… experience?” ~ At that moment I was on the verge of coming and desperately needed him to continue. In my longing I would have agreed anything if only he’d finish me off. He was waiting for a response and, with my dick in his hand I knew there was only one answer I could have given. My heart was pounding with desire. I knew I was agreeing to something but wasn’t that aware of what it was. However, a shiver of craving and a desperate need to come led my thoughts. “Yes.” I breathed. “Anything.” My desire for that orgasm had consumed every other sensible feeling in my body. I just needed to come and with this man holding my cock I was his puppet as he softly stroked it. He smiled and bent down and kissed the tip of my leaking penis. “You’re such a good boy.” His tongue lapped across my piss slit and I could feel my balls bubbling. I was shaking with pure unadulterated lust. This was my first sexual experience with another person, with another man, and I was caught up in the sheer sexy moment. Every nerve in my body was tingling in anticipation and I desperately wanted to drag this hulk of a man on top of me and explode. I wriggled and panted breathlessly as he took a firm hold of my cock. His hot moist mouth covered it and in a couple of smooth silky motions up and down its shaft I did just that. My naked body arched, a mixture of intense sensations gripped every fibre as I shot stream after stream down his throat, his tongue tickling and enticing the nerves at its end, engraving the moment in my mind forever. ~ After I came, there was no pretending; I was in shock, feeling guilty, possibly ashamed and wondering what had just happened and why? What had I done? What signals had I sent out and… my mind was trying to deal with it all. He was smiling and full of praise for me, telling me what a sweet, clever baby I was. Once he’d finished with the praise I think he noticed my shocked and hurt look but he just told me I could go far in the company… if I kept my mouth shut… and my mind open. I also realised that I was now the guardian of a secret but one I had no power to use. I was an office junior and he was the boss, who on Earth would believe me if I told anyone what had happened? ~ My exposed young body was wreathed in sweat and my post-orgasm thoughts were now of embarrassment and shame. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do next so I lay there and let him make the decisions. Despite being unable to look him in the eye I could tell he was a very happy man. “Well done little fella.” He ruffled my hair. “I think you’ll be an ideal playmate but,” he looked at his watch, “it’s time to get you back.” I tried to raise myself up but he just told me to lie still and he’d see to everything. He went around the room collecting various containers and bits and bobs of other things before returning to my visibly shaking naked body. First he used a very soft towel to wipe away all the sweat, followed by some wet wipes that were cool and smelled of menthol. The icy wipe was quite effective as he paid particular attention to my cock and I began to get hard again. He smiled but just shook his head as if to say that the fun was over for the day. He spread lotion around and sprinkled powder before slipping a soft, plastic disposable under my bottom. I wanted to complain. I wasn’t a baby and I wasn’t up for this type of embarrassment but before these thoughts had formed in my head and able to speak, he already had me secured. He held up a couple of pairs of plastic pants wondering which would suit me best. I was still too stunned to pass a comment as he slipped a thick crinkly white pair up and over the bulky diaper. He helped me to my feet. “There,” he said with some pride, “the beginning of… of a new life for us both.” ~ He stood admiring his work for a few seconds. “That’s how I always want to see you dressed.” He picked up my clothes and gave me my shirt and trousers to put back on - my underwear was nowhere to be seen. The loud crinkle from the plastic pants I found unnerving as I pulled my trousers over the thick padding. I could hardly get the zip or button to fasten as I struggled to get them to fit. In the end I had to give up and leave them open as I pulled on my shirt and jacket, socks and shoes. He drove me home and apart from saying that I was to wear a diaper to work in future nothing much else was said. It felt really strange having such a thing between my legs and I was wriggling around in his car seat trying to get comfortable. He was all smiles when he said that I’d get used to it but my mind was now wondering just what I’d got myself into. Mr Wojciechowski seemed very happy and in truth, despite the diaper, I’d enjoyed what we’d done. It was intense and because my first time had been with someone more experienced, it was brilliant. I was still shaking, that’s how good it was. However, now we’d shared such an event I was sure, once he got to know me better; I could change his mind about the disposable and all that baby stuff. I was beginning to feel quite smug that I had got a boss as a ‘boyfriend’ and that we’d be having an ‘affair’ in the office and nobody would be any the wiser. I began to smile to myself about how fantastic this might be for me… and my career. ~ As I got out of the car he passed me a small canvas bag and said it was my uniform and he expected me to wear it in the office the following day. I had no idea what it was but smiled my thanks and said I’d see him in the morning. He smiled back and said he couldn’t wait. My body trembled in expectation. So, as I waddled into the house, mum was waiting wanting to know why I was late. I honestly told her that I was working on an exciting new project with one of the bosses and that I was sure it would be terrific for my future prospects with the firm. Mum was so pleased she hugged me tightly. I suddenly remembered I had thick padding underneath and quickly pulled away and said I needed to change. She was so full of pride she beamed her love across the kitchen. “You’ve got everything you need to go far Charlie, the looks, the sense and that natural friendly ability… I’m sure you’ll be a huge success sweetheart.” “Thanks mum.” I hope you’re right. I got to my bedroom and shucked off my suit. The plastic pants crinkled louder and I just hoped mum hadn’t noticed the sound as she hugged me, if she did she hadn’t said. I looked in the mirror and the bulge seemed so stupid, I shrugged and thought - if this is what it takes to get on in the world… well… I was sure others had had to do worse. Besides, I was convinced that Mr Wojciechowski, despite his weird little ‘stress reliever’, would soon be only interested in having wild and frequent sex with his ‘sweet little Executive Toy’ and would forget all about his ‘nursery element.’ * tbc
  14. After the great story loss of '17 I was unsure what to do with this. I had the original first draft of the story but it's littered with issues as it was the first draft and there were a lot of changes along the way. I was thinking of just making a sequel to DTA but without the first story it didn't feel right. I have decided to do a rewrite of the story and fix some issues that was in the story before as well as add in some parts and maybe chapters for characters that I had planned to do more with but got skipped over (Crystal being one of them). Can't say how fast these updates will come out, I want to get it done but it's more a side project then anything I'm focusing on. Chapter 1: Little Time Daycare LITTLE TIME DAYCARE was written in large letters over the entrance of the building. The building had seen better days itself, it was in need of some general landscaping and basic repairs. Bryce had always thought daycares for littles made a great deal of money so it seemed strange to her that this one seemed so underfunded. Her "Mommy" kept patting her thickly diapered bottom as she was carried inside, though Bryce wasn't sure if this was in a strange attempt to comfort her or a way to show her dominance she wasn't sure but she was sure she didn't like it. As they approached the front deck and young amazon women greeted them, "Welcome to Little Time Daycare, how can I help you?" "I'm Jessica Mills, I have an appointment today." Her smiling captor answered. The inside of the building did look better then the outside but it still seemed a older and a bit more warn down then she had thought it would be. On the other had she had never been inside a daycare for Littles like herself so maybe they were all like this. The lobby was almost a large triangular room with a door leading to the left and right. However where the point of the room would have been it flattened out and about half way up the wall it was glass to the ceiling and a figure was standing there looking down on them. The figure was clearly another female amazon, she seemed to touch her ear for a moment and a voice came over some kind of intercom that was in the lobby. "Sarah please see Ms. Mills to my office." The young Amazon came out from behind the desk, she had a knee length skirt that matched her blouse. She opened the door on her right and lead them through into the main daycare area. The room looked like any other daycare one might see, however there seemed to be no amazon children just Littles, clearly diapered Littles at that. None of them wore much else at that, short dresses or skirts for the girls but it did nothing to hide the amazingly think diapers. The boys and some of the girls wore nothing but a t-shirt and a diaper, if they were lucky many were naked save for their diapers. It had only been a minute and Bryce already felt like she had entered hell. The far left wall was almost all glass letting everyone see outside and let people walking by see all the Littles, Bryce wasn't sure if this was a daycare or a Little store or both. "Oh, I've never seen so many Littles in one place before." Jessica was beaming at all the Littles playing. "Why do you only take Littles and not Amazon children?" "Mrs. Jacobson believes it's better to keep Amazon children and Littles apart in daycare. Littles don't group up but amazons do and many times amazon children will look down on Littles even if they're part of their own family. Since amazon children will grow up it makes more sense for a daycare to cater to their growth which is something we don't need." "So it's a cost cutting measure?" Sarah stopped and looked at the Littles. "Somewhat. We have a different approach to little care then other daycares as you may know." Sarah took them to the right side of the room to the back left corner there was a door. The receptionist lead them into a room in the center of the building into what looked like a lunch room in this back half with a storage area in the front. There was only one robo nanny in this room who seemed busy with someone Bryce, couldn't tell what. They were taken to an elevator in the back and made their way to the second floor. This room was amazing, the second floor was one giant office and looked down onto both sides of the daycare at once. While the left side of the building she had seen was a "normal" Little daycare the other seemed a little off. There was a small room in the corner with a number of cribs with cords hanging from them, though Bryce couldn't get a better look as her "Mommy" was quickly moving into the middle of the room to sake this new Amazon's hand. "Ms. Mills it's so nice to finally meet you in person," The amazon said. "This must be little Bryce, she is such a cutie. Are you ready for all the fun your going to have here?" Bryce couldn't tell if the amazon expected her to answer as many didn't but she answered anyway in a sarcastic tone, "Loads." A quick swat on her padded butt made her yelp which was followed by, "Don't be rude Little Bee." Their host laughed and asked Ms. Mills to sit, which she did setting Bryce on the ground at her feet. Bryce quickly moved to the window showing the right side of the building, she needed to scope the area while she could and didn't know how long her "Mommy" wouldn't be watching her. "Thank you for meeting with me Mrs. Jacobson, I am really hoping you can help," Ms Mills began. "Bryce is a great girl, I love her but she is still a "free range" little lets say. I only adopted her 3 weeks ago and in the time she has attempted to escape almost every day, I'm at my wits end." Jessica took a deep breath, looking over at Bryce to make sure she wasn't getting into any trouble. "To be honest I had never heard of this daycare before I got the call, how did you know to call me?" Nodding her head Mrs. Jacobson answered, "Trade secret my dear. As you may have notice we only take in Littles and not amazons children for our daycare. I believe that all Littles can be happy babies, you just have to give them a chance. Most daycare's want to force that on Littles as they are handling too much at once." Mrs. Jacobson took a sip of her coffee. "I understand you don't want to use normal hypnosis." "Yes, while I could use hypnosis to regress her into a baby she wouldn't be my little baby anymore. I still want my Little Bee to be...herself but to accept being the baby she is and not always trying to run away, I want her to be happy with me. All the research I have read said I need to punish her into being a baby or regress her with hypnosis but I don't want to hurt her. She has an energy, a fire about her and I'm afraid hypnosis would destroy who she is" Mrs. Jacobson waiting for her newest customer to finish before speaking, "It is true we may be able to help, we are working on a new program that will make a Littles accept their life as babies without the need to use hypnosis to turn them into babies. However we haven't completely finished it yet and are working on our first full test group. If you would like we can set her up as the last member of the group." This was why Jessica had come here in the first place, this was in her mind the last chance she had short of wiping Bryce's mind and making her a drooling, stinky baby. "What are the risks? What happens if it fails?" Mrs. Jacobson sighed, "As this is the first full test run we aren't completely sure the outcomes that's why it needs to be tested. At best if she fails nothing will happen at all, at worse the program will wipe away who she was and it would be the same as if you used hypnosis on her." Jessica looked out the window and down to all the Little's in the play area. She wanted Bryce to be able to play with them and be happy, for them both to be happy. Right now Bryce wasn't happy so she wasn't happy. Bryce meanwhile was busy, she wasn't paying to much attention to what the amazons were talking about. She knew this was about sending her to be a "good baby." Looking down onto the right side of the building the had a small play area along with many cribs with what looked like head phone on the sides, this didn't bode well for her. In the corner there seemed to be a small rooms inside to room but the door was closed and she couldn't see in. As she was looking down at the robo nanny getting the room ready as she felt a sudden warmth in her crotch, it was clear her diaper was now wet. After a weeks of the milk she had been fed she figured she should be happy the only control problems she had now were wetting ones. From the deck Jessica looked at her Little Bee looking down into the training area. She knew her baby was looking for a way out, and now she had no other choice. She looked up at Mrs. Jacobson and simply asked, "Where do I sign?"
  15. Too Late

    I think one of my pics is too risque for DD... click here to read the full story with both pics. A friend of mine said she was in the mood for something dark and embarrassing... I'm dedicating this one to her and all the other naughty girls out there. If you’re a naughty girl and you’re reading this, then it’s already too late. That fascination you’re feeling, the urge to read onward-- that’s not an accident. You’re already falling under my spell... and by the time you’ve finished reading, it won’t matter what you are now... because by the time you get to the end of this, you’re going to be nothing but an overgrown baby. Don’t believe me? Then keep reading (as if you had a choice.) Let your eyes wander on down the page, and maybe even allow yourself a smile or chuckle at how silly it all is. That’s fine... your disbelief is all part of the plan... by the time you realize what’s going on, it’ll be too late. You can probably feel it now. It’s very subtle at first... little more than a tickle in the back of your head... but ignore it for now (as I know you will) and just keep reading. Let your eyes wonder over the words, letting them fill up your mind until there is nothing else. There... you can feel that something’s wrong now, can’t you? All those precious big girl thoughts are going away... drown out by the growing din inside of you-- a voice that tells you to abandon the hollow trappings of your adult life and settle back into the soft, babyish comfort of a nice... soft... diaper. Now it’s in full effect, and you wish you could take your eyes away... that you had just listened to my warnings... but now it’s too late. It’s OK, don’t fight it... just let the words wash over you, filling you up with warm, mushy feeling, pushing out all the bad thoughts, pushing all that boring schooling and useless job experience aside. Just relax and let it fill you with warmth and innocence, and don’t worry about a little dampness down below... you’re just wetting your pants. Now now... don’t run away (like you could if you even tried.) Just give your butt a little squirm in the seat any you’ll discover a little extra padding-- that’s right: you’re wearing diapers! Good thing, too... they’ll catch all the pee pee you were too silly to hold in and keep you from making a big mess... after all, you don’t want to get spanked by daddy or mommy... do you? And as you sit there, on you’re plushly padded patootie, you’re going to notice small changes... your cup of coffee becomes a bottle, your t-shirt becomes a onsie, and... was your hair up in pig-tails like that before you sat down and started reading? There’s no denying it, honey-- you’re turning into a baby! Now, you’re probably asking yourself “could I possibly be more infantilized than I am right now?” and I would like to respond to that question with a little riddle: what’s white and brown and stinky all over? Give up? BBBLLLAAARRRTT! The answer is you, honey... or more specifically, your diaper! PU! Don’t try to deny it young woman... your pampers are all saggy and brown and the back, even if the stink wasn’t a dead giveaway! You look so cute with that shock look on your face as that big load overwhelms you, forcing it’s way out of your backside and squishing into the back of your pampers without your permission. A saggy, stinky diaper butt... that was your fate the moment you logged in to this website! And let’s face it-- you wouldn’t be here unless you wanted it... would you sweetie? Now, I know you’d love to read more, but you’re long overdue for a nap, and mommy or daddy should be along soon to put you down for the afternoon. Night night, sweetie... and stop by again real soon... assuming you’re still allowed to use the computer, that is! Until then, I know you’ll be dreaming of diaper changes...
  16. Alright, this wild beast of a story I started to write over a year ago, but I haven't finished as much of it as I would've liked. Still, I'm gonna post what I have over the coming days. It's a little story about a woman, a wish-fulfilment app, and how one chance for greatness can bring out both the worst and the best in us. Enjoy. From This Day Forth by Frostwyrm Part 1 Leslie Audet Is A Wishmaker Chapter 1 Wishmaker It was a few minutes before 6 AM and Leslie Audet could feel that it was just another cold november morning. The windows to her apartment were closed, but she was positive that it was frosty even in here. She groaned, still half-asleep, and tried to bury her head beneath the sheets. It was slightly warmer, but not by that much of a margin. She needed new sheets, some which actually did their job during this most joyous of seasons. The woman knew that, but also knew that she wouldn't get to buy any this month or the next, or probably ever. Unless she got a raise, which was of course doubtful. She stayed beneath the sheets, closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep again. It was something she'd done quite often in her college days, where she'd managed to get more sleep when at any other time in her life. Those days were over, as her alarm clock decided to remind her. Its horrible noise shattered the peace of mind she established and made the woman jump up and storm across the floor, every step a painful reminder of how cold it was in here. She slammed her hand down on the damn thing and then there was only silence. Leslie remained there for a moment. The city's lights managed to penetrate those old curtains of hers with ease and covered her bedroom in a dim luminescence. It was, like the rest of her apartment, entirely unremarkable. An unremarkable wardrobe, an unremarkable cabinet, and an unremarkable bed with slightly stained sheets. Leslie would have lied if she said she liked how it looked. A noise came from above, she heard the ceiling creak as someone moved. She heard a loud voice, screaming obscenities, which was soon added by more voices complaining about the rising noise levels. Leslie let out a sigh as she stared down on her alarm clock. The worst part about sunday mornings was always when it woke up the guy above her, as he was one of those cholerics who went into a frenzy whenever anything happened. Leslie hated that guy as much as this apartment, but after five years of this, it was pretty much a part of her routine. As the complaining died down and everybody presumably receded to their beds again, Leslie, with another sigh, went for the door and into the biggest room of her apartment. Flipping on the light switch, she casually glanced over an unremarkable couch, an unremarkable table and unremarkable boxes piling up along the wall. Ignoring it all, she went straight for the bathroom and used the chance to glance directly into the mirror. "Still a gorgeous baby girl," Leslie remarked through clenched teeth. Needless to say, she hated how she looked. It wasn't the fact that she was thirty-nine or that her red hair decided that now was the right time to start getting grey. It wasn't that she was particularly unhappy with those small breasts that pushed against the fabric of her nightdress, nor the wrinkles, which looked like they were becoming more and more prominent, day after day. Neither was it her many freckles. No, it was the nightdress itself. A cute, pink thing with frills and her name stitched onto the right breast. She'd gotten it for a discount after befriending a skilled tailor in university, but that had been more than a decade ago. She hated looking at herself, a woman that looked almost too eager to grow old, in clothing that made her feel so childish. Leslie sighed and proceeded to lift the dress up, so that her underwear became visible. She stared at it for a moment. The legs truly didn't belong to a young girl anymore and the diaper almost looked like it fit perfectly to her new, granny-sort of look. Another sigh escaped her as she let the dress fall. At least her continence was still in tact, as her bladder made itself noticed rather quickly, but she didn't care about the pressure and just let herself go in the diaper. It was a process she was used to, by this point, but standing in the mirror, knowing the diaper was getting soaked beneath that frilly dress, it actually brought a smile on her face. "Still a gorgeous baby girl," Leslie told herself with a bit more confidence. She couldn't be a real child, so she'd have to settle for dressing like one. How old she got didn't matter, Leslie told herself and turned to walk away from the bathroom. She turned the light off behind her and quietly walked into her living room, seating herself on the couch and staring at the TV monitor and the console below. Five games remained, the rest of her once so vast collection she'd pawned off. This room looked dull, too, so Leslie decided to kick back and just stared at the ceiling. The slight crinkle of the diaper was her only respite, as every sunday morning. She missed having a computer, but the internet wasn't for her, not after Clara had messed her life up in a most ridiculous manner. Well, it hadn't exactly been Clara's fault. Forming friendships at work was different than at college and Leslie had been far too idealistic concerning that horrible woman. Time crawled along in the slowest pace imaginable and the artificial illumination gave way for the natural light of the sun. Leslie, as always, only barely noticed, as she never bothered to move her curtains. The woman in the apartment on the opposite side of the road was a rather prominent person in the district. While it was clear that she suffered from some sort of mental illness, she was apparently deemed safe enough to live on her own. So she took to stalking people or staring at them from her apartment window. Leslie had made the mistake of befriending her five years ago, much like she had tried to do with everyone back then. The results had left her with a distrust towards law enforcement and a rather jaded opinion of lawyers. Her grumbling stomach ripped Leslie away from her thoughts. She was thankful for the timely intervention of her body, lest she'd go down another bad road and rose up immediately, only to be interrupted by the ringtone of her mobile phone. She turned to the door, where her jacket hang and hurried over there, picking up her phone from a pocket. The number spelled out on it belonged to a friend of hers, one who only ever called these days to whine about her life. Another sigh escaped Leslie as she pressed a button and answered the phone. "Heya, Annie," she said with as little enthusiasm as possible. She expected to hear the noise of someone crying, some gurgle of meaningless words crashing against her delicate eardrums, but none of that was found. "Yo, Leslie, you wanna meet up today?" The voice sounded both happy and sober, two states of mind Leslie thought impossible to coexist within Annie at this point, so she just remained silent for a second too long. "You still there?" She shook her head. "Wha? Yeah, of course I'm still here. You sound lively, did something happen?" "I'll tell you when you get over here," the voice said over the phone. Leslie rolled her eyes but looked around her home. She didn't really feel like spending the rest of her sunday in this rotten place. "Sure," she answered, trying for a smile. "Cool, when can I expect you?" "Somewhere around ten, if that's alright with you." "Sure. Do hurry up, though. Weatherman said there's gonna be heavy snowfall today." "Kay, bye," Leslie answered and closed the call before Annie could answer. She remained standing for a moment more, feeling the padding press against her legs and her bottom, so soft and comfortable. Considering she only just wet it, she wondered whether she could keep it on and just get some pants, but decided against it. She went into the bathroom once more, took off the diaper, rolled it up and threw it into the bin she kept for them. After that she wiped her privates with some toilet paper. It took her about half-an-hour more to put on makeup and dress herself but forewent breakfast, as she did almost every single day. Today she opted for unremarkable pants, a sweater and the thickest jacket she had. Then she got her scarf, a woolen hat and mittens. Everything was ready and then she went out into the stairway. The floors looked as rustic as the apartments, yet it seemed more of a charm point here than inside. She ignored it, told herself that it was just her home being horrible and then locked the door. As she walked down she saw the landlord by the door. He was an arab-looking man in his mid-thirties, who was slightly overweight, sharply dressed and had one of those large beards which had gotten trendy at some point or another. Leslie put on her best smile as she walked down the stairs. "Hello, Asad," she said, keeping to the first name basis they'd established over the years. "Morning, Leslie," he said, not even looking at her, as he checked his mail. "I've gotten complaints about your alarm clock, again. Most people want to sleep in on sundays, so could you make my life easier and do the same?" She halted in her tracks as he said that, felt a shiver run down her spine. For some weird reason, people telling her off made her feel almost a child again, mischevious and small. But Asad was like the rest of the world and he wasn't part of her littlespace. Of course, she knew that there were complaints, since the house was pretty clairaudient. So, Leslie nodded. "I'll turn it off on sundays, then. That should get everybody off your back." He looked at her with a soft smile. Once, Leslie had considered him attractive, but that had been before he'd grown himself that horrid beard. "Thanks, Leslie," he said, before he turned his eyes back to the letters. And with that she vanished out into the open city. The district she lived in was worn-down, dirty, but at least wasn't filled with as many criminals as one might expect. There were some people Leslie would've described as ill of mind, at least one drug dealer and she was also certain that the boss of the chinese restaurant was involved with the mafia, but that was everybody she could think of. Yes, this district might be among the worst in the city, but she could still tolerate it. The worst part living here was the weather anyway. If it wasn't raining, it was cloudy and if it wasn't cloudy, there was fog. Even today the sky was colored in a grim grey-ish tone that would soon give way to snow. Honestly, she wasn't sure how happy she should be about this, but decided to not care. Instead, she walked along the streets of her home and watched how the city came more and more to life as she walked out of that broken down district. There weren't that many people on their way, so she was happy to take the subway to her friend's place. Some personnel checked the tickets, some homeless lady tried to sell her a paper she didn't want to buy and, of course, some creepy guy in a long coat leered at her. At least he got out a station before her, so that was a plus point. Annie lived ten stations away from Leslie, on the edge of the city, where the air smelled of salt and the rushing of waves could be heard in the distance. It was a green place during the summers, with lots of trees by the wayside, expensive hotels and shops. The residents had said it was a victim of gentrification, rent spiked, many people from five years ago were gone. Leslie knew that the few people who spent their lives here were either already looking for a new home or trying to fight a hopeless fight against the new city the politicians were creating. Of course, Annie was neither of those. Annie lived close to the daycare where she used to work, before she had her emotional breakdown. Paranoia, drug addiction, anancasms, it had all sent her down a steep cliff. Nowadays, the woman kept to herself, spent her days hiding away, drinking booze, crying how miserable her life was and failing to get proper treatment for her mental illnesses. Once upon a time, Leslie had liked her, but as she approached the house Annie lived in, she couldn't help but feel the want to turn right back around. She rang the doorbell, which was answered by a ring of the door, signalling her to open it. Inside, the house was of a much better quality than her place. The ceiling didn't look cracked, the stairs were freshly painted, the smell of chemicals was in the air as the housekeeper had clearly gone over the floor recently. Annie lived on the third floor, where she occupied a two room apartment much like Leslie's, except, of course, much better decorated. And more filled with trash last she checked in. Annie had become sort of a hoarder ever since she started to fear her neighbours. Leslie prepared herself for a horrid smell to drift into her nostrils, but as the door opened, she was greeted by the soft smell of scented candles and a warm smile by her friend. "Leslie," Annie said and put her arms around the other woman. "You came!" "Yeah, of course I did," she answered, awkwardly putting her arms around Annie's back. The other woman loosened her grip. "Come in. Come in," she said and gestured for Leslie to follow her. So she did, closing the door behind her. Annie Sherman was a grotesquely fat woman of fifty years with a pig nose and hair she dyed a different color every month. This time it was a shade of red mixed in with streaks of blue. Leslie thought it looked ugly, but admitted to herself that she was just worried that there would be less grey in Annie's hair than her own. Annie also managed to dress in unflattering clothing, but Leslie knew that she'd simply stopped caring at one point or another. They walked into the woman's living room, which reeked of cigarettes and alcohol, though there were some trash bags scattered across the floor. Old food was rotting away on the table, right beside a fresh bag of potato chips. She spotted four candles burning behind them, all vanilla scented and the windows were open, too. Still, the different odors mixed together in a sickly sweet smell. Leslie hated it immediately. "So, you're still the same, huh?" She asked, kicking a trash bag that lay in her way. Annie cleaned some magazines off the couch and gestured Leslie to sit down, though she herself only moved away after putting the magazines down the couch again and lifting them up again. She did that four times and finally receded to the wall by the window. "Yeah," she said with an awkward smile. "I got in touch with another doc, though. So I hope that goes well." Leslie shrugged and finally settled down, looking at the old food. She wasn't sure what it was, but once upon a time, probably a soup. She looked at it and then couldn't bear it anymore, taking it and walking into Annie's kitchen. Her friend quietly watched, as if she was trying evaluate what was happening. Leslie figured it some new fear, some new compulsion and didn't really care. She cleaned the bowl with her hands, since Annie had no dishwasher. The fat woman walked up to the kitchen door, still looking at her. "You don't need to do that, you know?" Once more, Leslie shrugged. "I like work, helps me not think about my own shit." Annie folded her arms and leaned against the door, it creaked ever so slightly. "Still trouble with that Clara woman?" "Everybody started ignoring me ever since the new boss showed up. He cares about how we treat each other, mostly because he doesn't want any drama at work. Clara just tries to be subtle about it, as always and when he's not there … I guess I should find a new job." "You've been saying that for two years now," Annie said, her gaze piercing through Leslie. She smiled at that. Leslie didn't intend to get another job. She'd considered suicide more seriously than that. It wasn't just moving away from the city. She had no coin, no family, no idea how to even start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere along the line, she'd lost the spunk of her youth and just wanted to remain in an endless cycle of daily work. That was the adult thing to do, after all. "I'm just complaining, it's not really as bad as I make it out to be," Leslie said, water flowing through her finger, an empty smile on her lips. "Rick said Clara's a high functioning sociopath, your co-workers are all sheep and your boss is blind to anything that doesn't concern whatever your company does," Annie said. Rick was another man she knew, an old love that remained at least a steady friendship. He was also far too open about other people's problems, which left Leslie exasperated. "She's not a sociopath, my co-workers got their own lives to deal with and my boss cares about the company. Rick just knows what I told him at my worst, seriously. Don't take his word over mine. Can we talk about something else now?" Annie shrugged. "I just wanted to make conversation, geeze." Then make it without digging into open wounds, you idiot, Leslie thought, rolling her eyes. Thinking of another topic was hard. Of course, she could've complained to Annie about Annie, but that seemed hardly appropriate. So she just quietly finished up with the bowl, before she went back to the couch in the living room and sat down. "What did you want to talk about anyway?" "Actually," Annie said and went for her pockets, took out her mobile phone. "I wanted to talk to you about something that might interest you." She sat down beside Leslie, typing wildly on her phone. Her fingers were thick and clumsy, how she managed to work a phone with them was far beyond Leslie. Either way, she was happy that this wasn't going to end up in a whine-a-thon like almost every other meeting they had these days. At least, she thought so at first, but then she noticed how Annie clicked her tongue while she typed, a clear sign that she just got caught up in another compulsion. Leslie looked at her, impatiently drumming her fingers on her knees. The only thing that made her stay now was that she didn't want to go home. Now that people were awake, she knew that the sounds would be unbearable. She hated it and Asad wasn't helping, since he only ever talked about the noises she made, all while dismissing her own complaints. "Is the price of this place still good?" "My landlord spent the last two months raising the rent. It's still affordable, but not for much longer, why?" "Because I hate my place," Leslie answered truthfully. "I don't think you want to live together with me. I know I'm wearing you out." "You already did," Leslie said and gave her friend a smile to take the edge off her words. It worked, it always did, as Annie gave her a small smile back. "Are you searching for a new place?" "Not in earnest. I've got the cheapest apartment in the city, or close to it anyway, and my job won't pay enough for a bigger one." Annie nodded. "Maybe you should look for another one. You're smart, I'm sure you find something." She sighed. "I'm working for a company that spent the past few years growing. Everyday I'm expecting a raise, since everybody knows how much I'm helping out with everything." "Those are just excuses, though." Leslie let out a bitter laugh. "Maybe, maybe not. I won't stake my whole livelihood on the off chance that I might find better work, though." Annie's fingers danced across the phone and the woman exhaled loudly, shaking her head. "You're just wasting away, though." That much was true, Leslie had to admit, but in the same vain, she simply shrugged. "We all do." Annie's eyes fell and she looked at the phone for a solid minute. The quiet was welcome, since Leslie could take the chance to not think about her life, but rather something, anything else. They only got older and with every year that passed, Leslie wanted to think about what she'd done until now less and less. In a way, she knew that Annie felt the same way, but she blamed it on her illnesses, that she'd lived happily before. Maybe it was true, maybe not. Leslie couldn't find an answer. "I've got it, take a look." Leslie leaned over to catch a glimpse at whatever it was that Annie offered her. A website, with a simple blue design and in its middle was a window where one could type their name. She raised an eyebrow, "So you found a shady website on the internet? Color me impressed," she said sarcastically. "No, sheesh. Rick told me about it. It's a weird site. You type in your name and then it just asks a few questions." "Still sounds shady, though." Leslie looked at her friend who handed her the phone. "Try typing in your name. You'll see what I mean with weird." The woman sighed and did as she was told. Leslie Audet, she typed and suddenly a question flashed up before her. Do You Want Your Wishes To Come True? She stared at the window for a moment. Should she ask Annie, or just answer the question? A shiver ran down her spine, like bug crawling down and covering her in ice, and as it went, she stopped wondering and just started typing her answer. She hit Enter and then looked at the phone as the site vanished and gave way to Annie's social network profile, where the mother texted her daughter rather viciously. Leslie ignored it and looked at Annie. "The fuck was that?" Annie shrugged. "Rick told me about it, it seemed fun, so I shared it with you." Yet Leslie couldn't quite follow that train of thoughts. "It was just a question. I don't even know what just happened with it. Who programs a site to ask a dumb question? Are they trying to be ominous?" "It's more like a game. You get a message later on where they explain the rules. It's creepy at first, but you get used to the questions. I wanted to tell you because the messages indicate that some big event is happening on monday." The vagueness of those sentences made Leslie weary. "Why would you want to share a game with me?" Annie offered her a sad smile. "You'll see. It asks you if you have a wish, a desire you want to have fulfilled. I said that I want to leave my fears behind. I want to walk the outside world again, get back to work and life and everything I left behind. It said that on monday, I would find myself in a world where my wishes would come true. I don't think it's true, but a part of me does. I don't know, but I thought, considering how much you've been there for me the past few years, it might be some fun for you, too." She felt her head hurting and rubbed her temples. "Really? You called me over for this dumb shit?" Leslie shook her head and gave the phone back to her friend. "You do know I've got better things to do, right?" "Leslie, I–" Leslie rose up. "Stuff, Annie. I've got stuff to do!" Before her friend could answer, she went for the door, happy that she kept the coat and shoes on. She closed the door without even saying goodbye and left the house without further notice. Outside, snow was falling and she stared up at the sky. Countless snowflakes fell down from the sky and Leslie could only hope that it wouldn't end up like last winter. She hated to go to work through ice and snow. Either way, the sunday was hers now and she still needed to stay away from her home. And Annie, too, since this was pretty much the biggest waste of time she'd ever sent Leslie on. The question from the site still lingered on her mind, though, and she reached for her own. It was a prize she'd gotten from Rick last christmas, one of the few gifts she could truly use. She turned it on and found it ringing with a message, though it came from noone she knew. If You Want That Wish To Come True, Just Hit Enter. She stared for a moment, then looked back at Annie's apartment. There was a second part to this? Leslie groaned, but hit enter nonetheless. If it was a virus, she didn't care. There was no vital information on that phone and she could do well without the ability of getting calls. Instead of a virus, she received another message, however. To Write Out One True Desire Is All It Needs To Set You On The Path Where All Your Wishes Come True: There was an empty box beneath the message for her to write in, she looked at it and then up at the sky again. It wasn't like she had anything better to do, so as she started to walk back to the train station she started to think on her answer. She didn't think it was true, either. Of course she didn't think that. The city was dull and grey and boring, but it was her life and she knew that there was no more way to change it. She'd robbed herself of that hope. Her legs were hurting, there was an aching to her back and she felt a hundred years older than she was. On whim, she decided to answer. "To have a young body again." But she didn't hit enter, instead let the answer stand there. Leslie stopped in her walk, wondered how a world might look where this might work, where this would send her to a younger body. What would she even do with it? What sort did she want? She'd read some stories about alternate dimensions, about regressing into a younger body. It was a fantasy she liked, something she loved to happen to her. Half-heartedly she also remembered some roleplaying she'd done in the past, the ages her characters had been. Always children, innocent and unspoiled by the rotten world. "To have a body of ten years again," she corrected the writing and sent the message to wherever. Then she put the phone away again, sighing heavily. Monday morning, 6 AM was when her long road to death continued and in truth, wishful thinking wouldn't be of any help then. Knowing that, she decided to take the train to the very last station, where she could at least take a walk and enjoy some unspoiled nature.
  17. My Nightmares Have Become Dreams Part 1 The crowd is cheering as I stand almost on the halfway line at Wembley Stadium. I have just scored the most spectacular long-range goal of my career in this, the final game that will determine the Premier League title. One hundred thousand people are shouting my name “Joey, Joey, Joey”. One hundred thousand people’s eyes are on me as I become aware that… all was not what it appears. I don’t understand. As I stand with my arms held aloft in celebration, everything suddenly goes quiet. Where has my shirt disappeared to? Why are my shorts suddenly slipping down my thighs… and why can I do nothing to prevent this from happening? Here I am, alone in the middle of the pitch, naked but for a thick nappy and the crowd starts laughing at me. I see my image up on the big screen. The terry-towelling nappy is held together at the front by a single huge pink safety pin. It all looks so thick and immense in close-up. The laughter grows as I try to hide my embarrassment; the big screen captures every detail. There is nowhere to hide and I can do nothing to conceal my shame. There appears to be no one else on this hallowed turf to protect me. No team mates, no opposing team… where have they all gone? The supporter’s laughter reaches hysterical levels as they point and shout - wondering if I wanted my mummy… ‘Do you want your bot-bot changing?’ ‘Do you need a dummy?’ ‘Ahhh, poor widdle baby’. They all appear to be screaming baby-talk at me and as they do so, the flow of warm piss into my nappy is picked up by the camera, as is the fact that I am now on the verge of tears. The crowd’s mocking intensifies. Abruptly, as if from nowhere, a man in black appears by my side. I recognise him as a referee and he is carrying something. He pulls a whistle from his mouth and sticks it in my own but it isn’t his whistle, it’s a dummy, all pink and bulbous. I suck on it briefly and it restores some calm but then he thrusts a teddy bear into my arms, which for some reason I gratefully accept and start to cuddle. That’s when my bowels let loose and I fill my nappy once more only now, the camera picks out the huge discolouration on the seat. The big screen displays my disgrace, while a hundred thousand voices rise in laughter filling my head as I am led crying from the field of play, waddling slowly in my heavy, sagging nappy, towards the exit. **** The noise rouses me from my sweaty dream. The alarm clock radio was on full blast and playing some heavy hard thrash music. This isn’t what I want to wake up to but neither is the state of my bed and worst of all, my PJs. This is the fourth night in a row that I’ve had the same dream. A moment of absolute triumph is destroyed to become a distressing nightmare. This is also the fourth time I have messed my bed and the commotion of my noisy alarm clock and my sudden yelp of realisation as to what has happened had brought mum into my room. There is no getting away from the evidence; the mess, the smell and my guilty face are all she needs to know that it has happened again. She screws up her nose and says quite calmly “That’s it.” I instantly know what she means. She isn’t going to put up with my ‘problem’ anymore and she already told me, after the first incident, that I should sleep with protection to save my embarrassment and her having to wash and clean up after me. She isn’t a terrible woman, but at 18 I should be able to control my body. My two younger brothers have no trouble getting up in the night and only my little baby sister Maria (a very late arrival to the family) needs help with her toilet requirements. Mum has already indicated that, to spare my blushes she wasn’t going to tell anyone else about my problem but, and there are no buts to her argument, I will be wearing a nappy and plastic pants to bed for the foreseeable future. It’s what my baby sister needs and that is exactly how I will be treated. She did add that if I can go an entire month without wetting or messing then she’ll rethink my extra night time ‘equipment’. Meanwhile, she put in a call to her colleagues at the hospital where she worked (that was before the arrival of the baby) and got her plans underway. As the eldest son I have my own room, which I have made clear to my younger brothers they do not enter (on pain of some unspoken evil) without my express permission but I did notice that they both caught a whiff of my bodily secretions and may already have guessed what had happened. I didn’t get chance to disagree with my mum especially when dad told me that I was lucky that was all that was required of me. His stern expression emphasising that arguing would not only be pointless but might make for a more severe punishment (although mum didn’t see it as a punishment, merely sensible protection). My dad wasn’t convinced that I couldn’t do anything to stop what was happening and thought I was just being an uppity, slovenly teenager. He had very little time for his eldest son, who in his opinion, seemed to have regressed to a little baby and he had enough responsibility with his (unexpected) youngest child to cope with. **** The school year was almost over, exams taken and lessons more or less abandoned as we lazily went through the actions of those final days. I had no idea why my dream should cause me so much anxiety; I liked football but it wasn’t going to be my career. I’d breezed through the exams and assumed I’d done pretty well but, with the holidays looming, I still hadn’t found a part time job to see me through summer and my eventual results. What was more embarrassing was that my two younger brothers both had jobs. Gary, who is 12, has a paper round and Steve, who is 15, works with his mate on his father’s fruit and veg stall in the market over the weekend. Dad has refused to finance, what he sees as my lazy attitude to work, so I have no money. He thinks I could have found something, anything, if I’d tried but to him this is all part of my lethargic and disinterested way I live my life, always depending on others. This bout of bed wetting is just further proof of my ‘indolence’ of ‘can’t be bothered even getting up and going to the bathroom’ and his anger with me is on the cusp. I feel that if I argue, complain or in any way annoy him he’ll just explode and it will be worse for me. **** I had planned a first holiday with my girlfriend Kate to start the week after the school year finished. We thought we’d take a break before she had to start work whilst waiting for our results and eventually university. We’d planned on going to the same one, although taking different courses, and hoped we’d be able to get accommodation together. I hoped many things for my future but one of the main things that I yearned for was to be able to get into Kate’s knickers once we were away from home and living together. We’d been doing everything except that last real bit of sex and the frustration was driving me mad but, she said, she wasn’t going to lose her virginity just because I wanted her to, she could be quite controlling in that way. Mind you, in my current ‘situation’ I wasn’t keen on sleeping with her just in case I made a mess – I’m sure that would be the kiss of death to any relationship. Now I couldn’t afford to go, even camping would have been too expensive and, my dad would have seen it once again that I was running away from my responsibilities. It’s not that the family is poor. Dad has a well-paid job and up until the baby, mum was pretty well paid in her exec capacity at the hospital. However, Dad’s ethos has always been ‘you get nothing for nothing’ so, although I sought my escape in the prospect of university, I really was relying on my family to support me up until I went away. It wasn’t that I hadn’t tried to get work, well, I had tried but there were few opportunities around and I guess I was just too picky, thinking I was better than what was on offer. Mum had arranged for a part-time job at the hospital but I really didn’t want to be carting bodies around the wards with all those ill people – uuurggh! Mum was OK with my decision, saying it wasn’t a job for everybody but dad was furious and called me a little kid, scared of work and getting my hands dirty. The fact that I was now wetting the bed on a regular basis added nothing to his low opinion of me… and I suppose I could see his point. **** Mum had got her supplies from the hospital and I was greeted with them when I went to bed that night. Grown-up disposables and plastic pants were laid out on my bed and mum insisted that I wear them as she was damned if she was going to be mopping up after me anymore. I’m fairly easy going and don’t like conflict, that’s why I rarely argue with mum or dad, but I could see her argument on this and, I have to say, as reluctant to take this step as I was I thought it was the easiest of solutions to my immediate problem. Mum said it was only until the problem disappeared, hopefully, as quickly as it had arrived. That night it felt strange wrapping myself in the thick disposable (mum had offered to help but I told her I could manage) and it took a few attempts at getting the tapes tight enough for the damn thing to stay up. Eventually it appeared to be in place and I looked in the mirror and burst into fits of laughter – I looked a right loon. I even did a little dance I thought I looked so stupid… the whole thing was hilarious. I slipped the plastic pants, a sort of thick creamy colour, over it all and to hide the bulge pulled on my PJ pants. The bulkiness was something I thought I’d never get used to. When I was standing up and dancing around, it had all seemed so funny but now, as I tried to get to sleep, it felt hot and uncomfortable. The slickness of the plastic pants meant that my hand kept stroking the front of my bulge but I could hardly feel my cock through the thickness, this I found quite disconcerting. The plastic had a texture of its own which, I surprisingly found stimulating and continued to play around with the silky mound until I fell asleep. The dream was slightly different this time. Instead of being at Wembley I was on a camping holiday with Kate and it was she who was consoling as I wet myself. She pulled down my drenched pants and checked my soaked nappy and proceeded to start to change me in full view of the passing public (who on this occasion were a group of young hikers… all of whom were laughing at me). Kate was not putting up with my protests and insisted that I let her see to my needs or we were through, she wasn’t going to put up with a baby who didn’t want to be changed and that was that. I had no alternative but let her get on with it but the growing audience of a troop of scouts and an old folks walking group only added to my embarrassment. I started to cry. **tbc**
  18. Click here for the background on this story. OK... we’re trying something new here. We’ve added a new “Audience Participation” tier on Patreon: for $8 a month, you’ll get to control the direction of certain stories by voting in polls. These installments will likely be a little shorter than usual (which hopefully means I’ll be able to update more often.) To read the first Diaper Court story, click here. Miley sat in the courtroom, nervous, awaiting her fate. Before her, the honourable Judge Longabaugh smiled down like a cat who swallowed the canary... A guilty verdict had just been handed down, and she was quite literally at his mercy. She gulped nervously, wondering what kind of deranged sentence he was cooking up for her within the depths of his depraved mind. When the summons to the infamous Diaper Court arrived in her mailbox, Miley assumed it was some sort of joke... That was for girls who were chronically late for work or couldn’t keep their panties clean... not for rich, famous celebrities such as herself. But when she informed her lawyer, the woman had turned quite ashen and assured her that it was no laughing matter. “I’m afraid it’s quite serious,” she informed Miley sternly, “and you do have reason for concern-- if you’re found guilty in this venue, you could be looking at two years or more before you can get back to your career... not to mention the-- other damage you might incur,” she said vaguely, blushing when she thought back to some of the things she’d heard about diaper court. Miley’s legal team had fought hard, first to have the charges dismissed, then for a change of venue. Finally, they argued their case to the best of their abilities, but it was no use... the charges were downright bizarre, and the rules of the court seemed deliberately stacked against them. In the end, a guilty verdict seemed like a forgone conclusion-- and that was how she came to be sitting here, in front of this madman, awaiting her fate. “Will the defendant please rise for sentencing,” he asked, infuriatingly cheerful. Reluctantly, Miley rose to her feet, smoothing out the dark, stylish yet professional pantsuit she’d chosen for herself... not that it matters at this point, she thought sullenly. Behind her, the courtroom was packed, and Miley could feel every eye on her... and almost every one of them eager to see her get her comeuppance. At first she thought it was simply paranoia-- but during the course of the trial, Miley had become convinced that everyone in the courtroom, the judge, the spectators, the jury... even members of her own legal team were just waiting to see her get her punishment. “Young lady,” he said, his voice rumbling with deep gravitas, “you have been found guilty of appropriating the style of the ABDL community for your own personal gain and engaging in the teasing of said community, and for your lack of support for the community in general. Have you anything to say for yourself before your sentence is pronounced?” Miley wracked her brain, trying to think of something clever or profound to say in her defense-- something brilliant that would undo all the trouble she was in and pull her well-toned backside out of the fire. Instead, she merely looked at the floor, shuffled her feet ruefully, and mumbled under her breath: “it was just a joke, bro.” Judge Longabaugh smiled, relishing every moment. He’d watch this little troublemaker for years, praying that one day she’d be in his courtroom and at his mercy... there was no way she was going to wriggle her way out of this one. The Judge intended to make her squirm. “Well, luckily for you, there’s going to be plenty of time to reflect on your mistakes.” it was all he could do to keep himself from rubbing his hands together gleefully. “Young lady, I hereby sentence you to...” What will be Miley’s sentence? Members of the Audience Participation tier can vote here! Stay tuned to find out what happens next!
  19. Never More Content - Part 1 Rob had been with Doctor Mark Thompson now for around 19 months. It was a relationship that, at the beginning, neither could have foreseen the outcome. However, Rob has never been happier; his days are now filled with fun, adventure and that rarest of gifts… love. For these last few months he had learned that he didn’t have to fight for everything, he didn’t have to worry about anything and, in fact, he didn’t have to think at all, Daddy would see to his every need. Rob was only 14 when he tried to mug the rich-looking man who was getting out of his BMW. His stomach was empty and he was desperate because for the last few weeks he had been living rough on the streets. He’d had to learn how to survive quickly since he ‘left’ home and he wasn’t doing too well. Opportunities to find food, shelter and safety weren’t as easy to come by as he had hoped they would be. In fact, he hadn’t had a decent meal or a place to stay since he’d slammed the door and swore at that drunken bitch… his mother. Recently, his home life had deteriorated badly, he’d been expelled from school because of his mounting violent streak, he fought against any form of authority, he hated the world and everyone in it and he needed to get OUT. However, living rough was even worse. When he wasn’t being offered drugs, he was the victim of those desperate drug addicts who saw him as an easy target. He carried the cuts and bruises to prove it as he was no match against the rougher element he met. His stomach ached with hunger and he urgently needed to get some money and this smart, swanky, well-to-do guy appeared to have loads. In the past he'd begged for money but people either took no notice, as if he didn’t exist or worse, screamed abuse at him for daring to ask for help. The only way he’d found effective was to threaten, then he was listened to and the sharp 8” blade he now carried certainly got most people’s attention. He waved it at the BMW owner and demanded money but his threat was swiftly countered by a speedy kick from the man that sent the knife spinning through the air and a follow up kick to the would-be mugger’s head that knocked him to the ground. It all happened so fast that Rob didn’t know what hit him until he regained consciousness… then things really began to get weird. Forty year-old Mark Thompson is a man who knows what he wants. He left school and university with an armful of top class awards, flourished quickly in his specialised field and found the demanding intensity of his martial arts programme the perfect way to relax, keep fit and stay alert. In the dark he hadn’t realised the age of his assailant, all he saw was a body rushing towards him and a fleeting glimpse of a steely pointed object being jabbed in his direction. His training took over and in a nanosecond the would-be assassin was dropped to the ground unconscious. As he checked the prone body he realised that the youth lying at his feet was in need of some treatment. He reached down and easily picked up the grubby, thin urchin and carried him to his apartment just a few yards away. The boy was filthy. His clothes were torn and tattered whilst the bruises and cuts on his hands and face made Mark wonder what the poor little guy had been through recently (apart from a kick to the head that is). He got the lad into his home and started to inspect the comatose body now he had light to see just what his injuries were. He removed the lad’s thin jacket and t-shirt and saw that there was a very bad, festering cut on his arm that appeared to have gone untreated for some time. He removed the boy’s trainers and jeans and saw that he was just a mass of bruises and, strangely perhaps, he felt sorry for his would-be mugger. The boy was still out for the count so Mark called a friend of his who was a doctor and asked him to come around and check the boy out. He arrived minutes later from an apartment in the same block just as Mark had finished trying to wipe as much grime away as possible and the lad was beginning to regain consciousness. Although not fully compos mentis Rob realised that something was going on and he was being touched… so he lashed out. Although there was hardly any force to the blow he managed to cuff the doctor at the side of his head and was about to throw another punch when Mark grabbed his arms and pinned him down. Despite being naked and having little strength he tried to fight back and break away from his captives. Alas, he was no match for them and a quick injection from the doctor calmed him down and he drifted off into unconsciousness again. Once he’d gotten over the brief commotion Paul, the doctor, carried out his examination and treated the bruises and cuts on the pale thin body as best he could. His diagnosis was more malnutrition than any great injury but recommended that the large cut on the boy’s arm was kept under scrutiny for any infection. He gave the boy various injections that would help him recover and suggested that Paul feed the lad up before letting him go… or call the police… or do whatever he was going to do with his young attacker. “He’ll be out for about 12 hours,” the doctor informed Mark. “So, is there anything else… or can I get back to Little Liam? I left him sitting in front of the TV watching the Cartoon Channel.” He saw Mark’s raised eyebrows, “Yes again,” he said with a shrug of the shoulders, “it’s his favourite.” Before he left Mark asked Paul to check to see if the lad had been sexually abused. Paul checked the boy’s anus and said that it was inflamed and torn and he reckoned that the lad must have been the subject of a vicious attack, and had probably been raped… and perhaps more than once was his diagnosis. Mark sighed “Poor little fellow.” Mark looked down at the lad once more and began to wonder what had driven this sorry looking soul to this point. He was even worried that if he threw him out and back onto the streets, the boy would be an easy victim of some unscrupulous druggies or bullies. He wondered what he could do to help; after all, he was a trained (and rather expensive) behavioural psychologist, perhaps he could help sort the lad out. As he speculated he suddenly became aware of a strong aroma and gathered that the boy had just urinated onto his leather sofa. He quickly grabbed the nearest thing to hand to mop it up, which led to the lad’s thin t-shirt, pants and jeans soon soaked with stinking piss. Rob was unaware of what had happened as Mark took these smelly objects and tossed them into the washing machine. Then he realised he couldn’t leave the lad naked so went off to find something to cover him with. Mindful that he needed to protect his sofa from any further accidents he found a large towel and some safety pins. Returning to the sleeping boy he fitted it like a diaper around the lad’s waist. Whilst pulling the towel up between the lad’s legs and fastening it tightly a sudden shiver ran down Mark’s spine. He caught his breath at this moment of recognition. His mind catapulted him back to the last time he’d done this - it was during his final exams in his last year of senior school. A huge trauma had recently affected Mark and he remembered waking up some mornings to find he’d unconsciously wet the bed. The trauma had been the dramatic death of his father in an explosion at the chemical plant where he worked, which had killed 17 others and had devastating consequences to all concerned. Finding he’d wet the bed at his age was another upset he found difficult to deal with and although he and his mother were very close, he didn’t want to burden her at this time with what he saw as a ‘stupid childish’ problem. Each night he’d diaper himself with a towel just in case he wet again and every morning he’d wake to find it soaked but on the plus side… at least the bed and bedding were reasonably dry. The pressure of exams and the death of his loving father, who had encouraged him to do well and to work hard, had ultimately had a distressing effect. He wanted his dad to be proud of him so worked exceptionally hard to pass his exams. The hours he put in to revision, the empty loss he felt inside, the sadness he could only imagine his mother was going through, all just built and built until it found some kind of release. It was just over a week that he’d been diapering himself when his mom found out. It was early one Monday morning when she entered his bedroom to wake him and found him sat on the edge of his bed in the soaked makeshift diaper. His youthful looks were etched with anguish as he shrugged not even trying to hide his obvious shame. She hugged her bed-wetting son and told him that he shouldn’t have to carry that worry on his own as she was there for him… for anything… and everything. Between them they would meet head on and solve any problem that came up. They had always been close and, like when his dad was alive, there were few secrets in this loving family. He was relieved that he didn’t have to pretend to her anymore and, as she sat beside him, both cried in their mutual sorrow. Once the tears were almost dried up she asked if he needed any help with his diapers. Apart from the soggy one, which at that moment was hanging heavily between his legs, he wasn’t sure what she meant. He gave a side-long look at his sympathetic mother and asked if she was offering to change him. She giggled, relieving what could have been a tense situation, and put her hand to her mouth as if she’d said something really stupid. They both laughed. “If I thought you needed it, of course I would, but you seem to be coping OK.” She looked into his eyes reassuringly. “But,” and she looked down at the sagging diaper, “don’t forget the other things… you don’t want to be getting a diaper rash at your age.” She paused to check he was still OK with what she was saying, “What I meant was, do you need me to get you anything?” He realised she was correct… it had all been a bit haphazard. He hadn’t been taking care of that side of his diaper hygiene, just having a shower then dressing for college… and his crotch and bum were raw and beginning to itch. His mom bought him some more appropriate disposables, plastic pants and assorted lotions and powders, it was like when he was a kid again and she loved the diversion from her own problems. One evening when Mark was getting ready for bed and applying his night time protection his mom came in and asked him if he recalled that he went through a similar period of bed-wetting when he was four. He remembered but, perhaps surprisingly, not in a negative way… it had all been so normal. She told him that he’d been potty-trained for two years when, just before he started school, he started to wet again. “Stress,” she said as if it was the answer, “you were very scared of leaving me and going to school.” His mom went on to tell him about the fun she and his father had with diapering their slightly older, but still little scamp as he played. “Wearing a diaper never stopped you doing anything. You never seemed to worry about it.” Indeed, from the moment it had been suggested that he needed to go back into diapers to save the bedding and loads of washing, he seemed to accept it. His dad was determined that he shouldn’t get distressed by being back in a diaper so had gone out of his way to be positive when his son was wearing them. This was partly due to the fact that he had also wet the bed as a child and his father, Mark’s grandfather, had given his own son such a horrible time about it; ridiculing and chastising him all the time. Mark’s dad was determined that if that type of misfortune should happen to his own son he would never be made to feel guilty about it. In fact, his dad, and mom to a certain degree, had loved having their 4 year-old baby back. They loved him scampering around the house in just a diaper and it never bothered young Mark because he was always being told it was normal as it was no more than just another style of underwear. The truth was that both his parents had loved his sweet little padded butt getting into all the things a 4 year-old got into. His dad had made it into a game for Mark and bought special plastic covers for his son’s diapers. Soon the little imp was running around in brightly coloured pants, that although made the padding thicker, didn’t seem to hinder his ability, or confidence, in getting around. At school there was no difficulty as he wasn’t the only one still in diapers and while at home, he seemed to prefer to wear little else. Even though it started as just a night time precaution, Mark was often up and dressed first thing in a morning before his parents and he’d have fastened himself into a diaper for the day… no matter what he was doing or where he was going. Both his mom and dad thought this was the cutest thing and Mark himself seemed to love each new design that was slipped over his diaper… often choosing the colour and pattern that his dad offered him each day. He wore all that extra padding from 4 years until he was almost eight, when, after a stay-over with his friend Danny, he'd asked his mom to buy him some big boy pants for when he started school again. Although his parents were sad that their little boy had grown up, they didn’t want to keep him dressed that way if he it made him unhappy. As his mum told him this story, parts of that time came flooding back to him and he remembered it as a period when he had never been happier. There was a great deal of loving attention from both his mom and dad and he recalled the constant picking up and hugging by them both. “We just loved patting your thick diapered butt.” His mom had said with a reminiscing smile, “and you… well you’d never seemed more content”. Suddenly those words struck him “never more content” and he knew exactly what he could do with his young, would-be assailant. His mind was suddenly dazzled with the possibility of this new enterprise. As the boy slept on oblivious of the thoughts that were now so appealing to Mark, the psychologist regretted chucking the lad’s clothing into the wash. As the final spin-cycle came to a stop he realised that any clues to his identity would probably have been washed away. The damp bundle of clothes revealed nothing at all. In fact, only the boy’s jeans appeared to have held together, the rest had simply dissolved to mere bits and pieces not even fit for rags. Finding out any information about the boy was now down to what he was prepared to reveal. He wasn’t sure if this would be a problem but looking down on the lad, wrapped in such a thick diaper, he thought it all might be worth the effort. He had this grand plan developing in his head as he slipped upstairs to his doctor friend to tell him about his intentions and to borrow some items that he thought would come in useful. ***tbc***
  20. Nightmare Asylum

    First and foremost, thank you @Selpharia - author of the amazing "Of Capes, Cowls, and Cuddles" sci-fi epic - for sponsoring this story. Her interest in our work enabled and inspired Pudding and I to create this wonderful tale. The fact that Pudding's main character in Nightmare Asylum and Selphie's main character in C3 have the same name is purely coincidence! Or is it? *evil laugh* Pudding and I called this story 'Spoopy Nightmare Asylum' for like three months, so it's only fitting that Nightmare Asylum is the official name. I might be a little slow to update this one through because we literally just finished it and it has a ton of editing that needs doing. Anyway, I hope you like it! Disclaimers: diapers, wetting, messing, hypnosis, little, regression ------------------ Nightmare Asylum by: Sophie & Pudding 1.) ”A haunted house?" "No, dummy, a haunted children’s asylum from like old movies. You know, back before kids were drugged up all the time.” On the one hand, it was hard not to be interested, because we were both studying children’s psychology at the university, Ria and me, but on the other hand it was hard not to be disgusted because we were studying children’s psychology at the university. "You're not chicken are you? I mean I guess I can go and ask Cat Stone if she wants to go with me instead? You know that lil' closeted rug muncher's wanted to spend time alone with me for, like, ever..." I didn't like girls. Ria did. I didn't have a crush on her, but boy did she have one on me. And okay, I was a little manipulative. So? "Don't even say her name!" It wasn't that I had anything against Cat, it was just... well, she was prettier than I was. I hadn't quite let go of my high school self-consciousness issues. "Fine. You want to go into the stupid asylum? Then let's do it. I'm not afraid." Though I was notoriously afraid of everything. Bridget, on the other hand, wasn't afraid of anything. It was so annoying sometimes! And so sexy other times... Wahaha. Bridget strikes again! Calhoun Gardens wasn't even that far away, either, so the biggest issue was just waiting for it to be dark enough to be scary. Ria wanted to leave early, so we stopped at a Wendy's on the way to waste some time. Sometimes I felt like our movements with one another were a game of tug-o-war, or the world’s most childish game of chess; always trying to outplay one another. But we'd known each other since Freshman year, and had been untouchably close ever since. We just had... a dynamic. "Are you gonna eat your potato?” I waved a fry at my best friend, eating the way I usually ate: like somebody who'd never been an ounce over 130lbs despite a horrendous diet of fries and Mountain Dew. Genetics, am I right? "No, you can have it." I'd barely ate anything on the ride up. We were parked outside the gates of the building - tall and looming - and the sun had gone down twenty minutes ago. I was so nervous that I could feel it in my fingertips. There was a sign on the gate - readable even from here - that said "Keep Out". "What if we get caught? We'll get arrested. This is breaking and entering. We'll get expelled." "We're not athletes, you dummy, and we go to a state college; our behavior outside of school hours isn't some media spectacle." I rolled my eyes. I wiped my hands on a moist towelette a little too obsessively - because eating food with my fingers was somewhat of a breakthrough that Ria had manage to make with me in the time we'd known each other, but I still didn't like messy hands - and balled up the Wendy's bag to toss in the back of the car. "Okay it seems acceptably dark and spoopy outside now. You got charge on your phone?" I regretted that this wasn't the 1980's where we'd have flashlights and cool stuff like that, because everything we needed was on our phones. "Or, or, or! We could say we went in. And you know. Not go in. I like that plan." "You really are scared, huh?" Bridget sighed. "And here I thought it was sort of sexy, how you were willing to go into the scary dark asylum..." I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest, feeling warm inside. Damnit... "Let's go," I mumbled. Hahah! Bridget: 1. Ria's sense of realistic fear: 0. "Alright, let's go." When we got out of the car, Ria fumbled to lock it and I watched her, frowning. "Who's going to break into our car, you ditz? A ghost? Besides we might need easy access to the car if we're being chased by deranged spirits! She frowned. And quick like a bunny, I scampered up over the heavy iron gate that blocked our path. "There's a hole in the fence..." she quipped at me, as I landed, and I stuck my tongue out. "That's less dramatic. Come on!" I opted for the hole in the fence. I was never a very good athlete and that gate was awfully high. Once we made our way quietly across the parking lot, we came up against the side-entrance to the building. The asylum was huge - at least five stories. It took up half the block. "There is no way we are getting in. Everything is boarded up." I turned on my heel and started back toward the car. "Oh well, we tried!" "Yeah, I mean, I guess there's no way in." With a grunt of effort I pulled up the doors to the basement, angled against the side of the building, and waved my hands at the ensuing staircase down into the bowels of the sublevel. "This is so cool, can you imagine what went on here? I'm really curious. I bet it was horrible, though, and that makes for angry ghosts. I hesitated at the entrance. "Stop being a baby. Get down here." So I followed Bridget into the small, dark sublevel of the facility. I didn't even know how old this asylum was. But hysteria must have been a pretty big thing, right? Oh, I should have paid more attention in my psychology class... I fumbled for my flashlight on my phone. "Really? Selfie Light 2017? Don't you have any apps on your phone that aren't for taking your own picture?" I shouldn't tease, honestly, because Ria had the kind of confidence-issues in her appearance that few girls would ever muster, even at our age, and it did nothing to offset how much of a nervous nellie she was in every other area of her life. But hey, taking pictures helped her, right? "Hey the stairs are wet, be careful." That clumsy girl could trip over a strong breeze, so I was amazed we made it down to the bottom in one piece. The only problem was... "Ew..." We were standing in like two inches of stagnant, smelly water. "I am not going any further." "Stop being a baby," Bridget reiterated, but I shook my head. "These are new shoes. I am not going in there. No way, no how." "Then leave your shoes behind." "And step on a rusty syringe and die of poison?" I refused to go down the bottom step, even though the water didn't look that deep. "It's just water, and the sooner we get to the stairs to go up, the sooner we'll be out of it. And look it's not very deep so that means there won’t be any water upstairs, right?" I was pretty good at seeing the positives in things, almost annoyingly so, but she puffed her alabaster cheeks out in defiance anyway. "I'll piggy back you." Which I'm sure would go just fine given the fact she had four inches and twenty-five pounds on me, but hey, I was trying at least. "I don't need you to piggy back me!" I sighed and looked down at the water. Ugh. What else could I do? I'd have to wash my shoes the second I got home. I slowly put my foot down in the mucky water and followed Bridget through the dark corridors. Where were the damn stairs? It was hard to see, even with the flashlights on our phones, and to make it worse the ground beneath the water wasn't exactly smooth either. "Hey, look!" Stairs, at last! But as we got closer there was something just past the stairs... Troubled Patient Wing. We both stared at the doors with the faded paint and brass plaque, and shared glances. "Well we can't not go in there..." "Yes we absolutely can't!!" I went right to the stairs and got my feet out of the mucky water. Already I was regretting this trip. All it needed now was a spider or a ghost or a zombie child. I brushed the cobwebs off my jeans. But when I looked back behind me, Bridget wasn't there. Uh... "Bridget...? Bridget? This isn't funny... where are you?" "You have got to see this." Ria just about jumped out of her skin when I put my hand on her arm, and she shook her head quick as could be. "I promise if you don't want to stay when you see it, you can go, but you have to see it." She frowned. I grinned. I made sure I won. And just like the first time when I'd pushed through the double doors into the Troubled Patient Wing, things changed. There was plush red carpet beneath our soggy feet. Lighting. Soft music. A warm and inviting atmosphere. Like we'd stepped into a totally different place. ----------- The first five chapters are up on our Patreon! Please consider supporting us!!
  21. A New Start Part 1 Love isn’t all you need… but it’s certainly a start. Cardinal Willem Luthar Flischer (1949 - ) Joshiwoo was more than a little agitated as he sat in his playpen pushing the toy plastic train around and around. The soft vinyl mattress he was playing on had got a few ‘hills’ and ‘dales’ for him to at least make his choo-choo sounds a little different as the train climbed up and down its enclosed plastic domain. His own plastic pants, with the multi-teddy bear motif that encased his thick disposable, crinkled as he crawled around and was a nice accompaniment to the tinkling sounds of the overhead mobile plinking a soft nursery rhyme. His super-soft pale orange t-shirt had an image of a smiling brown and orange monkey hanging from a branch and the words ‘Lil Monkey’ written in swirling letters underneath. He was warm, he was safe and thanks to his super-thick nappy, he felt extremely secure. Sitting in one corner was his new, sparkling white, soft and smiling plushie, Snowy the polar bear. Lying quietly behind him was pink Bunny Fluffytail and his plastic T-Rex, Tex. The size of his playpen was adequate enough to contain him and his myriad of toys and fluffy creatures, and, for the last few months it had been a big part of his world. That and being looked after by ‘mummy’. The thing was he’d been on his own for some time now and was missing her. # Four months ago she had discovered an almost broken young boy on the verge of suicide and contemplating the welcoming embrace of the rail line as he stood perilously close to the edge of the bridge. He’d lost everything: His job, his home, his money and his friends. He’d got addicted to something that had changed his personality so much that no one wanted anything more to do with him – fame. Fleeting though it was, it had filled him with an attitude and a carelessness that made him believe he was indestructible (he’d not allow any reasoning voice to alter its ego-boost). He’d been stupid enough to believe his own hype and let others take care of ‘all the other stuff’. His swift rise as an eighteen year-old reality star had taken its toll on his personality, the very thing that had made him so popular in the first place. His small stature, baby face, sweet nature and a choirboy innocence (that would have let him get away with murder) had endeared him to the public consciousness whilst the show was on. However, once the show finished and the offers came flowing in; the fame and the money, the parties and the celebrity all conspired to ruin him. The newspapers were quick to castigate such a ‘nasty little upstart’ and he quickly lost all the goodwill he’d had because of a series of devastating headlines. Whoever said that any publicity was good publicity was wrong when it came to the career of Gordon ‘Little’ Littlewood. Just two years after it had started, it was over. His small stature and schoolboy looks didn’t stop the papers from holding him up to public ridicule for his drunkenness, drug abuse but the final straw had been the rape charge. Twitter, newsgroups, social media and newspapers in general became like a pack of wolves around the subject of Gordon Littlewood. After all, the news media had decided, as he was over eighteen he was targetable. The public were getting fed up with rich, young, good-looking celebs; it was time to take them down a peg or seven. There was once a time when a gentler, more forgiving, atmosphere existed in the world but nowadays it had been replaced by anger, spite and lethal vindictiveness and, if you were in their sights and vulnerable, you were eaten alive. ‘Little’ became a BIG but unedifying story for the media and anyone with an axe to grind. It hadn’t helped that his sweet personality had so rapidly changed to become unbearable and self-possessed. The sad thing for Gordon was he had nothing to back up what people had seen in him in the first place. That easy charm he’d revealed in the show was perceived (thanks to those highly defamatory articles and gossip columns) as nothing more than fake. The fact that he was once a ‘nice lad’, corrupted by fame and turned into this spiteful, self-opinionated sleaze ball, was absolutely no defence. As the papers joyously pointed out, it was easy to blame everyone else for his self-inflicted failings. The rape charge was eventually thrown out of court for ‘lack of evidence’ but he was never completely exonerated, even though most people ultimately realised the accuser was sick and had made the entire scenario up. Unfortunately, by then it was all too late and, as everything was gone; the money, the fame, the ‘friends’ (who delightedly cashed in on his celebrity) and any self-respect he once might have had departed. So, at just nineteen (almost twenty) years old he stood on the bridge wondering what life would be like dead. # The playpen was quite large and comfy as he lay listening to the plinky-plonk sound of his mobile. He hugged Bunny Fluffytail and held tightly onto his fleecy blankie, whilst gazing up at the stars and flying horses that circled over his head. The large white dummy he gently slurped on was also a comfort as he waited for mummy to come and change his soaked nappy. Earlier in the day his mummy had gently pulled him from his crib where he was all warm and sleepy and checked on his wet night time protection. She only changed him after he’d suckled on his bottle of formula and eaten the large spoon’s full of mushy Honey Oaties he enjoyed so much. He liked it when mummy changed him. She spoke such sweet words, kissed and tickled his tummy, cleaned and powdered him in such a loving way that, even when he was wrapped in his clean thick new disposable, he wanted it to continue. Thankfully, once the process was complete and mummy was happy with the way her little baby boy was dressed, she’d hug and cuddle him tightly to her bosom and rock him as she hummed a little tune. He’d close his eyes and suck on his dum-dum whilst mummy patted his well cushioned bottom as she finished her devoted morning ritual. # Gordon no longer remembered his past, all he knew was the present and the affectionate attention mummy lavished on her ‘sweetums’. In fact Gordon no longer existed, he’d become Joshua or more exactly, Joshiwoo. Yes, that’s what mummy called him: “My sweet little Joshiwoo - the sweetest of sweetums in the entire world.” He’d learned to say ‘Mummy’ but very few real words passed his lips. Gurgles and chuckles, bubbles and smiles were all mummy needed from him. He’d stretched out his hands to cup his new white bear or call for his pink rabbit and make some baby words that had entered his head but even his conversation with his toys was mainly babble. He might call out for ‘Shnowy’ or ‘Bun-bun’, he knew their names but was still learning to say them properly, but most of his vocabulary was just one word and pointing. Sometimes he’d sob a little even though he didn’t know why, but mummy came and tenderly stroked his hair or gently hugged him until whatever had caused the tears had been banished. Sometimes the snuffles were just because he was hungry, other times that he was saturated but mainly it was because he loved to have his mummy play with him. His teddy and other stuffed animals were fun and always felt nice to hug but it was mummy he liked to hug the most. She’d play with him and make noises that the animals or toys made and he’d learn from repeating mummy’s words or sounds. # Angela Epstein (nee Applegate) had been married to Doctor Joshua Epstein for two years when tragedy struck. She was just finishing her own nursing qualification when a huge accident on the fog bound M1 motorway had taken the life of her husband, which left her almost completely destroyed. The only thing that kept her going was the recent news that she was expecting her first child so devoted the next few months into making sure the birth of their baby would be a wonderful, uncomplicated experience. Unfortunately, the birth had been a messy and painful experience and her son had died just minutes after he had been welcomed into the world. A series of neural and physical difficulties meant that the sweet little baby boy never drew breath and his heart-broken mother only got to hold him for a few seconds before he was rushed away. Angela fell into a deep depression and for a couple of years hardly went anywhere, spoke to anyone or allowed friends to comfort her. She was utterly devastated. Every waking hour she just thought of what her baby would be doing at that moment had he survived. She’d named him Joshua after his father but even naming him didn’t make much difference to the deep morose feelings that seemed to engulf her. # That was until one day, whilst walking through the city’s shopping mall she noticed a sign on a window display saying that there were staff vacancies. Despite everything that had happened, this opportune moment came when she looked into the display of clothes and baby items in Everything4Baby and for the first time felt happy rather than resentful. All the colourful cute outfits and items for baby for some reason now filled her full of pleasure and on a whim she applied for a job. At the interview she never mentioned the loss of her baby but did mention the loss of her husband. Her nursing background was seen as an advantage and within a week she found herself working in an environment that once would have filled her with sadness but now filled her with joy. Everything4Baby had given her a job and a purpose. She loved the new mummies coming in and excitedly buying cute new stuff for their upcoming child. She loved suggesting items and helping pick out little onesies, nappies, bottles and toys for these young mothers. She was often surrounded by a sea of babies with their parents all searching for that specific item to make their little one ‘individual’. Because of constant requests for that ‘unique’ or ‘designer’ item, she’d found new suppliers, designers and clothes makers who, at a price, would create something ‘different and special’ – perhaps surprisingly, there was a great deal of social one-upmanship and elitism in the world of baby clothes. She was good at her job and soon found that she rose up the staff ranking and within two years was managing the branch. A year later and she bought out the owner and set about a series of adjustments that would develop the business far beyond what had originally been planned. Because of the way she ran the enterprise, the place catered for mummies, babies and those interested in baby stuff, even if they weren’t quite real babies themselves. Everything4Baby could have been renamed ‘Everything4allbabies’ because of the diverse selection of customers who came into the shop. That was ten years ago and she’d never been happier. # However, one late night driving home she noticed a dishevelled and sad young boy looking like he was contemplating his life as she saw him climbing up onto the rail bridge’s safety barrier. A shiver of concern ran through her body but the fact that there were few people around made her slam on the brakes and decide to try to do something. The boy only looked to be in his early teens, possibly thirteen or fourteen, and immediately thought how old her own son would have been had he lived. Her heart went out to this obviously distressed young man. She had no idea what to say or do once she got there nor how he’d react, it was a matter of trying to do something rather than nothing. Angela knew it may already be too late and the boy may have plummeted onto the busy rail line below but she also knew she had to try and help him. “What if,” she imagined, “this had been her own son in such turmoil?” She’d hope that some passing Samaritan would try and help. # Part 2 They sparkle and twinkleth like diamonds caught in starlight Edmund White-Thomlinson (1801-1843) Joshiwoo was sucking on his bottle. The warm liquid filling his tum-tum and making him wriggle contentedly in mummy’s lap. He had no concept of time or of his past life, right now was the only thing he knew and to his mummy at least, he appeared happy enough. She kept him warm, safe, clean and loved. Yes LOVED. She had poured everything she knew, every resource possible, called in every favour and provided all she could into giving her new baby all the things she would have given to her own had fate not claimed him. She was now in possession of a boy who had been damaged by the consequences of his life and was in need of a new beginning, she was going to make sure he received it. # Angela had managed to get to the highly distraught boy just seconds before he jumped. He was surprised to see this woman approach and a brief thought that it was someone, like the rest of his money grabbing family and members of the public, who wanted to taunt him. But, and this had been the surprise, in a calm and soothing voice she had simply said: “Please don’t jump.” After the beating he’d taken from his family, friends, press and his most recent experience, these were the first tender and concerned words he’d heard in a long time. He was shaking as he stood on the railings; he really didn’t want to jump but could see no alternative to the mess he’d made of his young life. The hate he seemed to have generated, the nasty and vindictive personality he’d adopted, the laughing stock he’d become – none of this really suited him and it was time to end it all. But, he wavered as the kindly lady reached out and simply said: “Let’s make your life better.” The steady gloved hand hung in the night air as she managed to coax the young boy down. Angela was completely unaware who he was, he simply looked like a damaged young teen in desperate need of help. # Baby Joshua sucked on his dum-dum as his mummy patted his nicely padded bottom. She’d been amazed at how much liquid he was able to produce but now, several weeks in, she liked the look of her well-cushioned ‘son’ and the number of stuffers in his nappy certainly made him bulky but, as she smiled to herself, incredibly cute. His plastic pants were tight under the dinosaur onesie he wore to keep everything snug but it also helped the soft rustling sound as he shuffled about. Angela just loved to observe Joshiwoo as he played, napped and lived his new unencumbered life. “This is how it should have been.” She thought as Gordon became Joshua and she was able to be a proper mother to her ‘little’ one. Both had a new take on life; a new deal, a new reason to be alive… a brand new start. # When Angela had got the disturbed boy home he was shaking, tired and completely exhausted. She thought, whatever he’d been through, it must have been something quite traumatic. He was dirty, wretched and looked like a he could use a meal but, as he sat in her lounge; all he really wanted was to sleep. Without much thought other than helping the poor boy she suggested he take a bath and then, if he wanted, have a nice long sleep. Gordon was thankful for the suggestion and grateful for the offer of somewhere to stay for the night and, above all else, that he didn’t have to explain anything there and then. A warm bath and a bed were just what he needed. Whilst he relaxed for the first time in many months he let the warm embrace of the bath soothe his troubled mind. Meanwhile, Angela was busy making up the bed in the other room, the room that would have been Joshua’s. It was, despite the passage of time, still full of many of the nursery items she had bought all those years ago. Lying unmade against the far wall was the crib in which he would have spent those first few months of his life and a tremor ran through her body. Tears sprung to her eyes and she wept for her loss… it wasn’t the first time and she doubted it would be the last. # She went back to the bathroom to check on her guest and saw that he had fallen asleep. She smiled and returned to the room to make space for the inflatable mattress she manoeuvred into the place and added sheets and a blanket. When she’d finished she looked around the room, it still had very much the nursery and baby look; cartoon characters, baby animals in diapers, mobiles and loads of fluffy animals, toys, blankets and the soft, subdued lighting she though a baby might need. Using a selection of baby blankets she quickly made up the bed. It may not be what a teenager might want to sleep on but with all the soft fleecy material it certainly looked comfy. A thought flashed into her head – should she make him wear a nappy? It might have been because she was already in a hyped up state, being back in her child’s nursery but that weird thought seemed to come out of nowhere. It was true that whenever she ventured into the nursery all the ‘what might have been’ came flooding back. Even though the room never got to experience a child sleeping and playing in it there was an atmosphere of baby powder and infant about the place. Nappies danced for a few brief seconds in her head and, in her mind’s eye, she saw herself putting baby Joshua into a pair. She smiled at the thought but quickly realised her guest was hardly likely to wet the bed and didn’t think it a problem if he did, the inflatable was made of plastic so very little could be ruined. It had been a strange and unusual few moments, besides, she doubted if any of the baby stuff she had would fit a boy the size of the one snoozing in her bath. She laughed at her own silly thoughts and went to retrieve the slumbering lad. # A heap of filthy clothes piled on the chair needed sorting, there wasn’t much but far too dirty for him to sleep in. She decided to wash and dry them but was surprised to see a set of keys, a phone and a bunch of coins sat on top of the pile. The phone wasn’t turned on so might have been broken and if what she saw was the sum total of the boy’s money, he really was in a bad way. Anyway, none of it mattered at that moment so went off to find some pyjamas or shorts or ‘something’ he could wear. After several minutes searching she’d found very little that might be appropriate but a pair of her own flowery thick cotton winter PJs and some white cotton knickers she hadn’t worn in years. She decided that they would do temporarily and, after putting his dirty clothes into the washer, went and woke her sleepy soaking guest. # He took some rousing from the bath but eventually she was able to help him up and, after offering him a fresh towel, left him to dry off. He didn’t appear that bothered that a complete stranger was taking care of him and, seemed more than grateful, for the underwear and even the floral jammy bottoms. Her kindness and sympathy was just what he needed so was content to be warm and clean with someone fussing around him, it had been a while. The lighting in the bedroom was low and as she guided him towards the temporary inflatable. She apologised for not having a proper bed but assured him that others who had slept on it in the past had found it quite comfortable. He was really too tired to worry and just glad of a place to lie down, he would have happily stayed in the bath had she left him. She reminded him where the toilet was in case he needed it during the night and jokingly added that if he wet the bed then it would be nappies in future. A quizzical expression passed over his features (he hadn’t noticed the nursery print wall paper and the room’s other juvenile trappings), she giggled embarrassingly letting him know she was only making fun. He was well-tuckered out and, as the room was pleasantly warm lay out on the blankets, curled up into the foetal position, and almost immediately started drifting off to sleep. A quiet “Thank you” escaped his lips as he snuggled against the fleecy blankets. He slipped the soft material with the childish motifs over his body as a huge relaxed sigh and wiggle to get comfortable brought the evening as far as he was concerned to a close. Unconsciously she reached out and stroked his hair. “You’re welcome sweetheart.” Kneeling next to his bed she watched for a few moments as he settled down and soon his shallow breathing signalled he was asleep. Her heart once again went out to this poor little guy as she wondered what had driven him to contemplate suicide. However, at the same time she pondered this, she was also thinking of her lost baby and as she looked down on her sleeping visitor, all she really saw was her own son. Her heart welled up and she sobbed wishing that this poor boy was indeed her little boy and she could look after him and make sure he’d come to no further harm. As she looked on he lay there tightly cuddling the fleecy blanket in his left hand whilst his right made its way to his lips. She watched with a smile on her face as he soothed whatever worries he had with the aid of his spit soaked thumb. “Goodnight Joshua.” She whispered and kissed his head. # Part 3 “As you grow the small child within is not holding you back but offering a place to heal” Mohammed Devwhalli (1901 -2000) Baby Joshua was wet, very wet as he woke from his nap. He clutched ‘Sh-nowy’ tightly and its soft white fleecy coat tickled his face as he slowly returned to wakefulness. Almost immediately his mummy was by his side and letting down the bars of the crib, checking her boy’s night time protection and beamed with pleasure as she helped him get to his feet. He tried to return his happiness at seeing mummy again by smiling round his dummy but all that achieved was more drool dripping onto his brightly coloured onesie, his chest was almost as wet as his nappy. This was baby Joshua’s favourite part of the day when mummy cleaned him up, tickled and played fun games, bathed and dressed him. He’d giggle almost continually until she’d help him downstairs for something to eat. Sometime, if he’d had a restless night and was still half asleep, mummy would hold him in her arms whilst he drank his formula from a bottle. Once he’d sucked it all down she’d burp him and then put him down so he could sleep until he was ready to face the day. There was little point in changing him until then as he always wet when he slept and all that formula had to go somewhere. Mummy made sure the thick soak pads added to his nappy would keep him from completely flooding his cot. # Angela knew that she should be trying to get in touch with the boy’s parents so that they were aware he was OK. However, because he’d been in such a state she thought it better to wait, have a chat with her guest and then decide on who needed to be informed. Once this decision had been made she settled down on her sofa to catch up on some paperwork. It was very late. The events of the evening had eaten into the time but there were still things for work she had to do before the morning. As she examined the various bills, quotes, designs, worksheets etc. progress was very slow because her mind kept returning to the poor lad upstairs. She’d rescued the boy but now felt some kind of responsibility to him and his family. Her concentration level was poor until she happened on a bill from one of her ‘specialist’ firms. This small firm produced bespoke, original items in any size and had quickly become one of the main suppliers to her ‘alternative’ baby customers. When she’d first embarked on this side of furnishing the needs for this group of customers, she had to source the companies herself, check if they were up for making the items requested and then agreeing a supply chain, delivery dates and, most importantly, happy customers. All these points were achieved with relative ease and it could be said she was one of the few such providers in the county. Everything4Baby had quickly become the place to shop for such a market and, the once-a-month late night private shopping, had proved both popular and a location where like-minded people could meet and discuss their predilection - babies during the day, ABDL at night. Now as she examined the bill and the items ordered her mind focused on what it would be like to have something similar herself. It was for an adult crib with lockable sides and a deep soft plastic mattress with a baby duckling design. The person who requested it also wanted an entire set of bedding and baby clothes to match. It was a huge, expensive order but she had been able to coordinate all the different suppliers to work together and produce a superb finished product where all the component parts worked in harmony. She was justly proud of what the happy customer received and he, rightly, was nothing but praise as word spread throughout the community. * She slept fitfully that night. Her mind full of adult babies and the charming little get ups they wore. She’d often passed comment on how wonderful they all looked in their baby clothes: The made-to-measure nappies, shiny vinyl pants, dresses, onesies, pjs, colourful vests, bibs, cartoon all-in-ones, indeed, even the suppliers were delighted with this new, demanding and growing outlet for their pricey but high-end creations. However, when her dream started incorporating her visitor she struggled against the idea – it was stupid, insane, and probably even against the law and, more to the point, RECKLESS. However, dreams being dreams, the thought lingered and she became captive in a life, a dream life, which had him at its centre but as a baby. When she woke up she was most uncomfortable with what was in her head. There again… * She quietly opened his bedroom door and was surprised to see that he’d hardly moved in the night. He was still lying on top of the blankets although one was now gripped tightly against his body but she detected the tell-tale smell of urine. Despite her thinking it wouldn’t happen she soon realised that her guest hadn’t made it to the bathroom and could see the outline of the ‘tidemark’ around his floral cotton PJs. He was still fast asleep. She cautiously shook him awake. It took a while but eventually managed to get him to near consciousness as he looked around unsure of his bearings. “Sorry to wake you, er, erm, er,sweetie ,” she was a bit hesitant because she still didn’t know his name. “I have to go to work but, if you want to stay in bed, I’ll be home around lunchtime…” He yawned and stretched but was still unbelievably tired. “Er, OK.” He simply acknowledged her offer to stay in her home for a little longer; after all, he didn’t have anywhere else to go. “Yer, er, I could do with some more sleep… thank you.” He mumbled but smiled his thanks and waited for her to leave. As she hesitated at the door he suddenly realised that she might actually have some doubts about leaving him alone. “Oh, your stuff will be alright, I’m not a thief and I’m grateful to you for…” “No, no, it’s not that,” Now it was Angela’s turn to feel she needed to explain. “It’s just…” He suddenly became aware of the pool of smelly dampness he was lying in. “Oh for Christsake, what the fuc…” “No, no don’t worry… I… er, we can…” She saw him fling back the blanket he was clutching and look down at his soaked jammy bottoms and the urine soaked sheet he’d been lying on. The plastic inflatable mattress making sure no further harm was done but that also meant however much his bladder released had now soaked into everything else. He looked up at her and his irate expression changed to one of distress and regret. In that brief moment he’d changed from an angry young man into a sad little boy. His face screwed up in abject failure and was almost on the verge of letting his tearful emotions take control. It wasn’t a clever contrived reaction to his damp situation, it was real. For a few seconds there were no further exchanges, they were both a little overawed by what had happened. Eventually, he looked around the room and gave her an apologetic smile. “I suppose if I’m going to piss myself, at least I’m in the right place to do so… you’d better get the nappies ready.” * Although the last line was said as a joke his mind immediately slipped back to ‘There and Then - Here and Now’ the reality TV show he’d appeared on. It was roughly an updated, 24/7 version of the popular ‘Big Brother’ franchise with live and recorded segments broadcast (though which segment was recorded and which part live was never relayed to the contestants) of course there was also tasks to be completed daily. Each player gained points every twenty four hours depending on how well they ‘performed’; this was done by phone votes and logged on-line responses. Once the contestant was voted out of the house, their accrued points were available and up for grabs, which the public could then, via a live phone in, allocate to other members of the cast. This intense involvement from viewers had seen the show top the ratings and become the ‘must watch’ programme on TV. The newspapers ran an almost blow by blow account of the outrageous behaviour of the contestants, who became instant celebrities, whilst the public in general just couldn’t get enough of it… especially as they could submit tasks to be performed. This interaction was one of the segments of the re-vamped show the public liked best because they could actually appear on it via social media and suggest what was to happen. Although these bits looked ‘live’ they were in fact recorded so as to give the production crew time to get any props organised. # One such suggestion was to split the house into two - one side to be mummies and daddies, whilst the other had to be babies. Of course, as it turned out Gordon ended up being a baby and was suitably dressed. His small frame gave him an advantage and his bulky nappy, shiny plastic pants and frilly bonnet seemed just perfect for him as the challenge got underway. He took to the part like a duck to water and immersed himself in the antics of a baby. He was convincing and, with his little tubby tummy on show and the huge protection that the cameras just loved to constantly feature, he was the one the audience adored. The public loved this feature and called in with ideas for what they should wear, what they should be fed and the babyish games they should play. And, whereas the other ‘babies’ baulked at some of the suggestions; Gordon played the part to the fullest. On more than one occasion what they were dressed in bordered on the fetish rather than adolescent, whilst the outrageous bulky nappies, satin dresses or juvenile onesies were just too much for some. Those who were acting babies were not allowed to speak but could only make their wishes known by crying, pointing and gurgling. The six other babies were hopeless but Gordon proved to be a winner and made front page news in his cute baby outfit with this particular task when he wet and messed himself live on air. What the public were not aware of was that his ‘accident’ was just that. He hadn’t meant for it to happen but, a long nap, together with some rather dubious baby food and drink had led to a spectacular reaction. The stunned and confused expression on his face (and the tears that followed) was something that no one could ignore. The public were appalled and delighted, the ratings soared and Gordon won infamy as well as the public vote. It was he who walked away with the £250,000 prize at the end of the show. # Despite all this public affirmation and notoriety the programme had passed Angela by. She had of course heard of it but hated reality shows and rarely watched TV. She was also not in the least bit bothered about gossip (celebrity or otherwise) or indeed any sort of ‘popular culture’ so the fortunes of the shows ‘stars’ had come and gone without so much as a comment from her. She still had no idea who this soaked boy in her spare room was but who, at that moment, looked even more pathetic than he had when standing on the bridge preparing to commit suicide. His slim pale body, shaggy hair and big brown eyes doing nothing to confirm he was an adult. He really did look like a small child confused by the way his bladder had let him down. He had no excuse for why he wet the bed and possibly ruined a kindly woman’s patience… for a brief moment he wished he’d taken up her jokey reference to wearing a nappy. This was not the first time he’d wet himself, and not just on the TV show, that was one of the many things his ‘loving’ family were able to torment him about. He was constantly bullied by his family and being the youngest and smallest, he was an easy target. His occasional bouts of incontinence also added to the vast amount of abuse the boy suffered all his life… he was the butt of everyone’s jokes. He had no idea the reaction his stupid bodily malfunction would garner from this guardian angel. For Angela’s part, she knew he needed time to heal from whatever had driven him to contemplate that final act of self destruction. His pissing the bed only added to the boy’s vulnerability and further evidence he needed to be cared for. # Part 4 I fear a future that has no future Izzy Downing (1980 - ) from the poem ‘Magole’s Lament’ “Look, don’t worry about anything.” She looked around the nursery and thought he was right, it was the correct place to do it if you were going to pee your pants. “I have to go to work but, your clothes are in the washer and should be dry in a short while. If you can put all this stuff on at some point,” she said indicating the wet bedding, “I’d be very grateful.” Gordon nodded. “Thanks. Look,” she said as an afterthought, “if you want to go, please just drop the latch as you leave, but, should you want to take some time to think or… talk, I’ll be back at lunchtime and we can chat then. After all, I don’t even know your name.” Gordon couldn’t believe he hadn’t been recognised although in truth, he did look different now than he had when he was in the show. He was both suspicious and relieved that his identity was unknown and wondered how he could spin this anonymity to his advantage. “OK, and, if that’s alright with you… I’d like to stay a little longer to try and get my head in order… and a chat at lunchtime sounds fine.” He smiled and then as if to bring the conversation to an end looked down at the mess he’d made and grimaced. “I’ll have this all cleaned up by the time you return.” # It was a busy half-day in the shop for Angela. It seemed that everyone in town who was pregnant had decided to pay a visit and she was rushed off her feet. She didn’t mind that amount of business, she didn’t mind the questions, nor did she mind the continuous nervous and excited requests for advice and information. As manager/owner of Everything4Baby she was used to being asked everything from infant fashion guidance to relationship problems. It was that type of store and the reason why it had become so successful. Nevertheless, by 1pm she was completely shattered and ready to get home having in the past few hours temporarily forgotten about her guest. However, before she left she grabbed a couple of items from the storeroom and put in a call to one of her ‘specialist’ contacts. # Once home she was pleased to find him dressed and watching TV with a mug of coffee by his side. To Angela he looked even more like a young teenager; his now clean, if ripped, jeans and Call of Duty t-shirt, mop of ill-kempt hair, bare feet and nervous nod of acknowledgement only making him appear like a schoolboy truant. “Hello,” she smiled and carried things through to the kitchen. “Glad you decided to stay for a while.” She called over her shoulder. Gordon was engrossed in the programme but looked up and smiled as she zipped through the living room and up the stairs. “Yer, yer, er, I think I need time to, er, think… if that’s OK with you?” He called back to her. She disappeared into her bedroom but carried on the conversation… only a little louder. “No problem. Have you eaten?” Her voice carried from the bedroom as she slipped off her coat and sorted out some of the items she’d brought home. “I had some toast earlier, I’m not really hungry… er, can I get you a coffee, tea or something? You look like you’ve had a busy day?” Almost immediately she was back down stairs and into the living room. “Please, tea would be nice and yes… it has been very hectic.” Gordon busied himself in the kitchen boiling up the kettle, putting tea in the teapot, putting milk in a jug, although his brief search didn’t turn up any sugar. He saw there was one bone china cup and saucer and correctly assumed that was how she preferred her tea served. She was a stylish lady so no doubt drank her tea with a degree of finesse and that classy crockery, he thought, suited her just right. Meanwhile, Angela settled herself on the sofa and was looking forward to having a nice chat. # Joshiwoo lay on the carpet in front of the TV watching cartoons and burbling away to ‘Sh-nowy’. He was wearing only his little t-shirt and thick protection, his yellow plastic pants crinkling noisily as he swayed from side to side in time to the music. He was ‘singing’ along to the melody whilst watching the colourful characters light up the screen. His mummy really loved it when she could see her boy enjoying himself in such a way, it made it all worthwhile. Whatever doubts she may have once had, they were swept away by the sheer pleasure he gave her and the unconditional love she could shower on him. # Once he’d served tea Gordon came and sat down next to Angela. She turned off the TV and smiled. “Hi, I’m Angela.” She offered her hand and he took it. “Pleased to meet you Angela, er, I’m Terry.” Gordon lied. “Pleased to meet you too Terry.” She noticed that his t-shirt didn’t quite reach to top of his jeans. The waistband of his clean but ancient underwear was just visible and his little pale tummy appeared more apparent because of this revealing gap. Perhaps it was just her but this made him seem even more defenceless. Again, Angela desperately wanted to wrap him in her arms and let him know all was well, to take away any pain or hurt he had suffered and return him to a life of childish bliss. # As they chatted the story that ‘Terry’ wanted to tell slowly emerged. If she really didn’t know who he was (and she hadn’t given any indication she did) he thought he’d spin a story of near truths. She asked him if he shouldn’t let his family know he was OK, they might be worried but he countered with the fact that it was his abusive family he was escaping from. He lay on the abuse, sexual as well as mental, which wasn’t too far away from the truth (although the sexual abuse came later and not from his family). However, the fact was that his family were a bunch of nasty, self-serving, money-grabbing, thoughtless, vindictive degenerates who had loved Gordon’s fame and the money that success brought so who went all out to exploit him, and it, to the fullest. The fact that it all but destroyed him didn’t even register on their collective consciousness, they just saw the money. # From where Angela was listening little Terry was struggling with his tale. She could see the emotion just pour out and watched as he wriggled uncomfortably with some of his descriptions. Of course she believed everything he said, and most of it was true except he left out certain pieces of the jigsaw. No mention of the TV programme, the public humiliation or his later encounters with people even worse than his family passed his lips, he kept it all at a family level. Since he was a toddler the constant put downs, malicious words, spiteful actions and the relentless air of malevolence had been his unceasing companion. No childhood bliss for this boy. No ‘sweetness and light’ mother to comfort and cherish him. Apart from the fact he was the youngest so obviously an easy target, the reason they constantly put him down was because he was different. He did have a spark of kindness, affability, empathy and understanding but this showed his family up for what they were. Whenever this side of Gordon raised its head, the rest saw it as their duty to mock and mistreat him until he they would no longer be confronted by something that was actually considerate. No. No. No. Parents and siblings alike goaded their innocent little brother into becoming a monster. Because he’d been successful on TV and was a celeb they encouraged him to get an attitude, to demand rather than ask and to be as awful as they were, unfortunately for him, he took their advice. That was when his descent into oblivion started. It was them he was terrified of and, although he didn’t go into too much detail, what he left unsaid, Angela was able to fill in those horrifyingly painful blanks herself. He alluded to other things since he’d escaped from home and how he’d really screwed up elsewhere in his life. Again, specifics were left to her own imagination. Angela couldn’t understand how such a young boy could have so many troubles but as the story unfolded the reasons became apparent. The essentials were missing but it left his host in no doubt that her guest was the victim of some shocking and disturbing events. At one point his tears flowed and Angela comforted the poor boy hugging him through the worst of this emotional black spot. The tears had been real when Gordon realised just how completely abandoned and destitute he really was. He was so alone and broken that when the opportunity arose, clung to anyone who seemed to understand his situation. # Alas, the last people he had confided in had been only too pleased to find such an amiable ‘toy’ they could use and abuse. His celebrity had been a bonus as they kept him prisoner and sexually used and abused him for a few days. By the time they had finished, the boy that was already broken was just an empty shell who understood once and for all he was worthless. Their actions, together with all that had gone before, destroyed his spirit. The feeling of utter uselessness had driven him to that final decision; the only way to stop his suffering was to end it all. Angela was in tears herself by the time he’d finished explaining what had happened. She was both angry and sad at what the youngster had been through and railed against how terrible people were to take advantage of someone else’s suffering; especially such a defenceless young boy. So, his reasons for suicide were powerful and why he was in no rush to let anyone know where he was equally poignant. He was so very grateful to have someone, after so much pain, to actually care. Because of her kindness and concern in his darkest hour, he literally owed her his life. He wanted to disappear but, and this was down to Angela, he no longer wanted to kill himself. # As the story of his hateful family revealed more and more dysfunction, she began to feel very protective of this sad looking teenager. She still assumed he must be about the same age Joshua would have been had he lived, fourteen, but never got around to asking him his real age. She did ask if he’d thought about going to Social Services for help but he shrugged and said his mother always said that’s where they’d send him if he ever revealed anything about the family. In their house Social Services was regarded as the enemy and a place to be avoided; full of stress, horror and anxiety, staffed by hateful perverts and certainly more unpleasant than what he was already used to. The bullying family had certainly planted the notion he’d get no help from them. He had a deeper fear of Social Services than of his own appalling family. He said he was scared of what might happen if anyone knew he was still around and begged Angela not to tell anyone. That fear of being discovered and sent back to a life so abusive he shook with dread as he pleaded with her to keep his secret. He urgently wanted to become invisible so that to all intents and purposes he no longer existed. He wanted time to think and hopefully find some solution and perhaps start again… though exactly how he was to accomplish this he had no idea. However, he smiled when he looked deep into Angela’s eyes, as far as he was concerned she had lived up to her name because like an angel she’d rescued him. It was an emotional moment that wasn’t in the least insincere; it was an honest reaction to what had happened over the last twenty-four hours or so. She felt it as well. # There was a bond between them and it was getting mixed up in her mind. One second she could deal with this teenager with ease, knowing what was needed and what to do. The next moment, she only saw her son Joshua and desperately wanted to mother him and keep him safe. He had asked what she did for a living, so happily explained about her ‘little baby clothes shop’. The mention of ABDL stuff was left out of the conversation but she did allude to her ‘growing’ group of customers and how much she enjoyed the ‘fascinating’ world of babies. She didn’t want to go into any great explanation about living on her own but the observant little chap had noticed her wedding ring so simply confirmed that her husband had died. She didn’t enlighten him any further and wisely he realised it might be a prohibited area for discussion. However, that maternal feeling had been getting stronger the more time they spent chatting and foolishly she was getting comfortable with a ridiculous notion forming in her brain. An idea that was simply not practical or how things worked in the real world. Strangely, it was a feeling she’d had from the moment she’d coaxed him down from that bridge. When she thought about it, she’d already done things that were primarily, if unconsciously, aimed at ‘Terry’ being part of her family in some way or other. Although she couldn’t really keep him from a cruel world, every fibre of her body told her he needed protection and she felt almost compelled to be the one to do just that. # They talked for ages. Time didn’t seem to matter and ‘Terry’ was able to keep up his temporary façade simply because Angela saw no need to doubt or challenge him on anything he said. Over a hastily prepared meal he explained what he really wished for was a brand new start. He wished for a place where his family didn’t exist, where no one knew him and somewhere he felt safe. He looked at Angela with his huge innocent eyes and her heart melted. Despite the fact that she knew she shouldn’t be holding such thoughts, Angela wondered how easy it would be to grant that wish. To keep this scared boy in her protection. To keep him away from railway lines and that feeling of futility she’d observed when he hung nervously onto that bridge. This was not the act of an attention seeker; this was the last despairing act by someone who had come to the end of their reasoning. It was the final act of escape. Perhaps she could provide a better finale. # Eventually, the chat got less and less as tiredness crept in to their conversation. It was time for bed. Angela realised that she hadn’t checked in the nursery or made ‘Terry’ a bed for the night and was surprised that he’d already made up the inflatable mattress. “I wasn’t sure if… after last night’s, er, accident, that you’d let me stay another night” He looked shamefully at the ground. “I’m really sorry about that but, well, er, I couldn’t help it, I, er…” “Not to worry.” He was grateful she had interrupted his apology. It was difficult for him to admit that it wasn’t the first time to happen and also knew he couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t happen again. He just hoped that he would be able to get to the toilet in time. She checked the bed was made up to her satisfaction. He’d piled all the clean and dry fleecy blankets he could find on top because they’d made him feel incredibly comfortable and strangely safe. “OK Terry,” he appeared at least to have the bedding sorted, although no doubt his brain would take a little longer to be equally as well organised. Now she could see he was organised in some way that made her feel sad. She wanted to think of him as a helpless toddler reliant on her for everything. She also wished she’d been able to use some of the items she’d brought home from work; the pack of disposables and the large plastic pants. In her mind she already saw his well-padded bottom snuggling down under the fleecy pale blue blanket but alas reality returned. Angela had no idea how she expected to get him to wear such items but that impulsiveness to bring them home in the first place made her think perhaps it was something he might need. As it turned out, the morning proved just that. # Part 5 A dream may inspire - so should never be ignored Dr Aaron Livitt (1900 – 1973) “Oh Josh… er, Terry.” Angela was aghast at the smell of pee and the fact that all the baby blankets were soaked and strewn in wet lumps around the inflatable mattress. ‘Terry’ was just coming round and had no real idea what was going on as nothing quite registered at that point. Judging by the state of the bedding her guest probably had a very disturbed night. He also must have pissed a couple of gallons around the place for everything to get so saturated. The warmth of the room only emphasised the smell but he seemed oblivious to what had happened. # He lay there all but naked wearing only his soaked and stinky underpants as Angela busied herself in drawing back the blinds and opening a window. A cool gust of wind agitated the air and sent a shiver briefly across the wet boy’s body. It was that cooling shock which woke him up to realise what he’d done. In remarkable quick succession of expressions - horror, confusion and sadness - crossed his face. He knew he was in trouble, thinking no one would put up with an adult pissing the bed. Seeing ‘Terry’ coming to terms with his damp situation Angela couldn’t help but think she already had the solution to the problem. “OK mister,” she picked up a few of the soaked items. “This isn’t going to happen again.” Despite herself she admonished him as if he was a toddler because, in her eyes, she thought of him as a young teenager not an adult. He didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, guilt let it pass. Everything was soaked but any excuse he hoped to come up with was a nonstarter because there wasn’t one he could offer to explain why this happened for a second time. She looked in his bleary, almost tearful eyes and saw only despondency as he tried to emerge from a rather deep and what had been to him at least a rather peaceful sleep. Indeed, the last two nights had proved wonderful for his ability to sleep without any anxious thoughts, stress or fear. So, when Angela hinted that precautions would be taken in future he simply accepted it. “Yer, ermm, sorry, I, er, ermmmmm, sorry.” His voice was feeble and filled with dejection. He’d slept with a warm glow making him feel safe and secure; he hadn’t worked out that maybe that ‘glow’ wasn’t just an internal feeling but a physical one as well. # He tried to think why he’d pissed himself again. Once could have been an accident but a second time just seemed laziness. There were no dreams he could remember that might have caused it, all he could remember was that as he slept he was no longer concerned about anything. Indeed, the room was at a pleasant temperature, the fleecy blankets cosy, the bouncy mattress comfortable; he’d slept in a haze of utter contentment. He was at a place, and more importantly, with someone who cared, so, after the year he’d had this was an unbelievable bonus. He didn’t want it to end by alienating the one person who’d stretched out a helping hand. # The open window allowing a cool breeze to circulate the room drew attention to ‘Terry’s’ soaked underwear; his limp penis damply outlined as the white discoloured material stuck against genitals and pubic hair. He felt guilty and tried to cover up but of course Angela had seen all there was to see and wasn’t impressed. Guilt turned to apprehension, he certainly didn’t want to leave this safe haven and find himself back out in a world he’d so recently wanted to depart. She may be an angel but… even angels must have a natural abhorrence of pissy people so realised, if he proved too much of a burden, that he couldn’t rely on her understanding to keep a place in the house. He nodded at the inferred changes, although she didn’t say what, as she picked up all the damp stuff. As she inspected one of the scrunched-up, wet fleecy sheets a little sigh escaped her lips. It wasn’t aimed at ‘Terry’ but he caught what that sound might suggest. In fact, she was merely remembering when she’d bought it - the day after she’d been told of her pregnancy and in a deliriously happy mood had seen it in a shop window and bought it on a whim. # Angela went to the bathroom and returned with a hand towel. She pointed to his groin indicating his underwear needed to join everything else in the wash. Feeling greatly embarrassed he sheepishly removed and handed them over. He could barely make eye contact he felt so small, stupid and babyish. Wetting again had literally dampened any of the confidence he was getting back. She left the room with a pile of washing and a raised eyebrow as he timidly held the small piece of fabric against his genitals. To Angela this image just confirmed once again what a shy, innocent and tragic little boy she had under her roof. The room temperature had certainly dropped a few degrees; this was partly due to the open window but mainly to the shame he was feeling. Of course, standing around naked didn’t help. He shivered and wondered if because of this incident he’d have to leave. His body shook at the thought, whilst his breathing became strained and his chest tightened. There was a sudden rush of fear because he was scared of being out in public again… he wasn’t ready. His head was filled with worry and unexpectedly his panic attack resulted in something else. His bladder contracted and a stream of warm golden piss flooded the towel pressed against his lower extremities. “Oh for fuck’s sake.” # He took a shower and hoped to feel better when finished. As he scrubbed away the debris of his wet night, and surreptitiously wrung out the freshly washed towel, he reviewed the conversation and thought that Angela’s words hadn’t actually meant he was being thrown out, which was a great relief. However, he also knew she rightly had some concerns and decided to comply with whatever was requested. He thought it only fair and besides, for the moment, he had no better plans and nowhere else to go. He realised he needed her to continue to care. When he returned to the nursery everything had been picked up. All that was left was the grey inflated plastic mattress, which he’d found surprisingly comfy to sleep on. The damp sheets and blankets had all been removed and the place was left looking more like a child’s nursery than it had appeared before. She’d also given the room a quick spray of air freshener, which certainly helped. # As if seeing it for the first time he really investigated the room. The paper on the walls, the soft pastel colours and the images of baby animals in nappies were all really quite endearing. He was suddenly jealous of their innocence, half of him wished he could turn back the clock but then remembered his childhood hadn’t been all that wonderful. However, those smiling, happy images made him wish for better times. He wondered about the unmade crib and whilst nosing around in the drawers and closet noticed baby clothes and toys. He took out and examined one of the small white onesies that again was incredibly soft but so tiny only a new baby would fit into. He wasn’t sure if they were for a particular infant, or items from her shop. # She hadn’t told him about her lost child although they had talked about her husband and ‘Terry’ thought that perhaps his Good Samaritan might be pleased to have company for a little while. Although she seemed happy and organised he had wondered if she might be a bit lonely to have taken him in so readily. However, as he dried himself down he deliberated if she had kids of her own. She hadn’t mentioned it but the nursery setting meant she had, or was thinking about, babies. He was still thinking of that when he looked around for his clothes. As he’d arrived at Angela’s home wearing only the clothes on his back, his choice of attire was limited. He still had his jeans and shirt piled on a chair where he’d dumped them the previous night. However, also set out on the dresser, next to his phone, keys and small pile of change, were the washed white knickers and PJ bottoms she’d given him the night he arrived. They were a lot more comfortable to wear around the house so slipped into them and, barefooted, made his way to the kitchen. # “Angela.” “Yes Terry.” “My er, the spare room, the er, nursery… is that for your baby or stuff from work?” Angela knew that this observation would come at some point but was conflicted about telling the truth. “Mostly items from the shop.” She decided on keeping the real reason to herself, even though some of that stuff had been around for fourteen years or more. “I keep some things to check details, quality, you know, and make reports back to the suppliers.” She wasn’t sure if he believed her but it sounded plausible. “What about the wall paper?” “Er, well, er, it was like that when I took this place on and I, well, I thought it looked cute so just haven’t got around to re-doing that room yet.” She smiled through her lie hoping it would be the end of that particular line of questions. It was. # “Look,” ‘Terry’ said sheepishly, “I’m so sorry about all the extra work I made for you last night. I don’t mind doing the washing myself, I don’t see why you should be inconvenienced. I mean, you took me in and, er, this is not the payment you probably expected.” Angela looked at him in a strange and irritated way. “I didn’t… and don’t expect any payment.” She seemed aggravated. “You needed help and I was pleased I could offer it and… and… there is no rush on this… when you feel able to, I’m hopeful you’ll get on with your young life in a happier frame of mind.” The words streamed from her mouth but it was apparent she was angry at the very suggestion of some kind of payment. “I’m sorry,” ‘Terry’ gulped at the gaffe he realised he’d made. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.” He looked guiltily down at his bare feet. “I meant, erm, it was a poor way for me to repay your kindness by giving your more work… erm.. er... Oh, I’m sorry if it came out any other way.” Angela was pleased that he was a bit on the defensive because she hoped it would end the ‘nursery’ discussion. However, the main reason she was angry was that some kind of ‘payment’ had crossed her mind but probably not in a way ‘Terry’ would have thought. She instantly calmed down. “Of course sweetheart, I’m sorry I jumped down your throat.” She smiled an apology. “Of course you didn’t mean anything by it and you don’t have to worry. You can stay here until you are ready to move on. We need to get you that ‘new start’ you said you wanted.” She ran her hand down the chastised boy’s arm in a friendly manner. “Now… what would you like for breakfast?” # Part 6 Take your destiny out of the hands of others anon Angela’s house was bigger than something a single person might need. She and husband Joshua had fallen in love with its rural cuteness and proximity to the city: it seemed to have the best of both worlds. After his death, and the death of their child, she couldn’t bear to part with the only thing that linked them all together, so she stayed and her love for the place had increased with time. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere else and, thanks to the huge insurance pay out, she didn’t need to find anywhere smaller. That was partly why she never re-furnished the much hoped for nursery. It was that one contact between them all and she simply hadn’t wanted to change things. Joshua, her darling doctor husband, had loved decorating the room ready for their first child. He’d done it on whim just two days after he’d been told the news Angela was expecting, and only a week before he died so tragically. No, the room stayed as it was and how it should have been. Those sweet little animals wearing nappies were just typical of her hubby. He was thoughtful, loving and soppy; all the things that had made Angela fall for him in the first place. # The property was a large, three bedroom detached house at the bottom of a cul-de-sac. It had plenty of land around it and the large back garden led down to a fence that separated it from a rough piece of common land full of weeds and tall grass. Downstairs the house had a large kitchen that led through to a utility room and garage on one side, whilst the other had a nice sized lounge and a similar sized dining room. Upstairs was Angela’s en-suite main bedroom, a small box-room, another family bathroom and a further two similar sized bedrooms. One had the nursery, the other, which would have been the child’s play-area, was full of junk Angela hadn’t got around to sorting out or throwing away. # From the moment she saw the young man about to commit suicide Angela’s submerged maternal feelings had surfaced. She wasn’t totally aware at the time but there was no doubt about it, she was definitely thinking nurturing thoughts about her guest. With the revelations about his life she became even more motherly and just wanted to protect the boy from a world that had so cruelly dumped on him. At work she’d been able to keep any maternal feelings under control. Surrounded by happy, weepy, terrified mothers (and mothers-to-be) she saw it as her duty to be caring but not to drown in the entire baby and baby clothing industry. One of the things that stopped her getting trapped in that hormonal clique was her ‘other’ customers, the ones who had a different take on the baby business. She loved the idea of grown-ups dressing and acting as toddlers or attempting to stem the rush to adulthood of certain children who needed more time. There appeared to be many different reasons for the ABDL community (she now knew her customer’s desires had a title) to want a shop like hers and was pleased to be able to satisfy that need. The mail order side of it alone had blossomed from absolutely nothing into a very lucrative part of the enterprise and Angela was satisfied with all the new suppliers and customers it brought her into contact with. She was surprised at just how big that particular community actually was and intrigued by many of her client’s requests, whilst being fascinated by the alternative ‘babies’ and ‘toddlers’ she met in store. # As word spreads throughout the ‘community’ these gatherings became more and more popular. On those special Sundays mummies and daddies brought their ‘little ones’ out for this brief, but much needed, social meeting. Kids, teens, and middle aged men and women, dressed in a variety of juvenile attire and often very thick protection, would somehow all be happily playing together, whilst their ‘carers’ looked on; exchanging stories, advice, buying new clothes and planning other more specialist purchases. Graham ‘Daddy’ Griffin was a rich, powerful looking man with a very gentle way of speech. He had two young teen boys he dressed as twin toddlers who always looked so sweet and innocent together. In their matching little outfits they would play together whilst ‘Daddy’ shopped. Their bulky nappies only partly contained in tiny shiny nylon shorts as the cuffs of their plastic pants peaked out from the leg-holes whilst they careered around the place. He lavished toys, gifts and the cutest of cute baby style clothes on them, which, as far as Angela was concerned, made them simply adorable. Since Mr Griffin and his boys had first entered Everything4Baby Angela had thought them the cutest of cute ‘families’. Many of her other customers played their part and acted as kids but this seemed more real. In fact it was very real and it aroused her curiosity. In a quiet moment, when she asked him how he was able to keep them so young and dependent on him, he confided it was down to constant positive reinforcement of their toddler status. Also, encouragement that they were both very good boys, a rather wonderful subliminal audio file he’d developed over the years and, he whispered as if it was the biggest secret of them all, “A file of Blueline30”. This last piece of information stuck in her mind. She had no idea what it was or what it might refer to but the name stuck. # Joshua was wet through. It was a Sunday afternoon and mummy needed to attend to other business so unfortunately had to desert him for some time. She hated leaving her Sweetums alone at all but occasionally, especially as the company was going through a bit of transition, it just couldn’t be helped. He had plenty of things in his large playpen to keep him occupied but for the last hour and a half he’d been crying on and off because his nappy was full and uncomfortable. Mummy had put him in an extra-large disposable with several thick gel absorbency pads in the hope that it would hold him until her return. It almost had but his rather cute little butterfly onesie, with matching plastic pants had reached its absorbent limits. There were four snaps at its crotch to hold the onesie in place. Unfortunately, the two middle ones had popped under the strain so her little bundle of joy looked like he’d had a medical accident. The huge bloated nappy had squeezed out of the gap and made it look like some huge growth had appeared between his legs. The butterfly motif on his plastic pants looked none too happy at being put under such stress. He stood holding the bars searching for any sign of mummy - his baby coordination not allowing him any chance of escape. Meanwhile, the pet lip and snivelling sobs made him one very unhappy baby. The TV was running a cartoon channel and the radio was tuned to a children’s music station, it was hoped that between them and his toys they would keep her little boy entertained until she returned. A low moan escaped the little chap’s lips as he plopped down, exhausted from all his crying and standing, hardly noticing the squelch as he landed on his padded bottom. The sudden pressure on his bloated protection burst the final two snaps and releasing his onesie, which flew up to his chest, leaving the startled boy staring at his swollen plastic pants. He didn’t know what to do so snatched up Bunny Fluffytail and clutched her tightly. Worried about the loss of his mummy, being alone and seeking some kind of comfort, he pushed the stuffed animal’s ear into his mouth and sucked. He hadn’t noticed that his dum-dum was on a ribbon pinned to his onesie just inches away. However, Bun-Bun’s ear was a comfort and eventually he sunk into a sleepy doze with his head resting against the bars of the playpen. # As soon as Angela had left for work ‘Terry’ cleaned up his mess, shoved it in the washer and tumble dried all the bedding. He really hated the fact that he’d wet and promised himself it wouldn’t happen again. He also wanted Angela to note that he wasn’t leaving everything to her; he was quite prepared to pull his weight, if she would let him. He found the vacuum cleaner and went around all the rooms lost for a short while in the sucking up of dust and worrying about nothing else. He left Angela’s room, thinking it would be a bit disrespectful to enter uninvited but made a mental note to explain why he had not ventured in. The house wasn’t in bad order but it was obvious that Angela was a very busy woman and had very little time for intense housekeeping. ‘Terry’ was happy to do his bit, cleaning the kitchen, organising the utility room and even ironing some of the items once they were dry. It didn’t take him long and once he’d plumped up the cushions, was happy to just lounge around with nothing more taxing than decide which TV channel to watch. # Whilst her guest had that to decide, Angela was in the throes of starting to make some significant changes to her work life. She had resolved that ‘Terry’ was too precious to leave to the vagaries of chance. He had met with nothing but abuse and harm his entire existence and was determined, one way or another, to change that for him. She was angry that such a sweet natured teenager should have suffered so much in his young life. As it was an opportunity arose for her to find out a little more about this ABDL thing that was now occupying a great deal of her business. A supplier had sent an order to the shop instead of direct to the customer. It was a pair of matching shortalls that Daddy Griffin had ordered for his twin boys so Angela put in a call asking if he’d like her to send them on or, if he was in the vicinity, perhaps he’d like to call in. He said he’d pick them up that lunchtime and, he added flirtily, if she was available he’d like to take her to lunch. Needing information she coyly accepted his invitation and hoped this man would provide it. # Perhaps unsurprisingly Angela’s most recent dream had featured, yet again, baby Joshua except with the face and teenage build of ‘Terry’. The dream was bizarre because this amalgamation of two different people didn’t concern her. In fact, in the dream, baby ‘Terry’ crawling around dressed only as an infant had appeared the most natural thing in the world. Even friends who were visiting appeared to accept this large child and everyone loved the cute, loving way he did everything. She’d woken up with this dream very much at the forefront of her mind and, together with the ABDL stuff she’d learned, wondered just how feasible it would be to transform Terry into a dependent little baby. Of course, she was having internal arguments about this game-changing course of action, but still, when she eventually settled the quarrel in her head, it ended up with Terry being with her but not as a teenager. That maternal feeling, the idea of being a mother and having someone completely dependent on her, was very powerful. Logic escaped her as she wondered if her ABDL friends and acquaintances might be able to help. She had no real idea just what steps, if any, needed to be taken, though Mr Griffin’s earlier chat about his boys had firmly planted a seed. # Angela had been unable to find any reference to Blueline30 on the net, although had found a great deal about various tones, rhythms and hypnosis. She’d read that for many Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers (she quite liked the term ‘Diapers’ but wondered if there was perhaps an English version, maybe the TNLL, The Nappy Lovers League?) their only involvement was the wearing of nappies and other childish regalia. For others there was a deeper need which liked a mummy and daddy relationship, whilst for different reasons, some needed to be coerced into a regressed but happier state of mind. This final condition of returning a person to childhood really appealed to her. She wondered about using a similar strategy on Terry and perhaps letting him once and for all, escape from the rotten life that seemed to have engulfed him. # She had taken to ‘Terry’ the second she’d seen this distraught young boy contemplating ending his life. Angela remembered being swamped with concern and compassion, feelings that overwhelmed her to the point her unintended emotions took complete control. She hadn’t known the backstory then yet everything she saw in those initial few seconds screamed at her to look after this boy. What psychic power, what interference from God, what blessings from above had suddenly entered her thoughts, she had no idea. However, she knew instantly she had to protect this child. Unbeknown to both the seed for Gordon’s /Terry’s adoption and regression had been there from that very first sighting. Her soothing initial words, that first understanding touch and the deep desire to be loved by the seriously scared youth clinging to the railings and about to jump to his death, had been Kismet. Fate and fortune intertwined, their future forever interlocked. Although neither was aware of it, both parties needed something, someone in their lives. The stars had aligned and their destiny became one. Gordon didn’t know it but Angela instinctively knew her life was about to change. She had a vision of that future almost immediately, why or where these thoughts /ideas/desires came from was unknown but they had assailed her in several ways. Somehow she knew that this grubby young teenager was destined to be in her life for a long time. She didn’t exactly know how but intended to see it through and hoped that the reason would present itself eventually. # Over lunch Graham Griffin proved to be wonderful company. For the first time in many years Angela was able to relax in the presence of another man. Not that she’d been off-hand or terrified in the past, it was just that there was always a guilty feeling that she was somehow betraying her late husband by even speaking with another man. Graham was different. He was polite, respected boundaries, was playful in the way he addressed her and wasn’t in the least bit pushy, letting Angela lead the conversation. As the lunch progressed Graham (they were now on first name terms) was full of praise for how Angela had taken Everything4Baby and managed to develop it so well. He told her how much it was appreciated by the ‘community’ that she had made space for them to meet and how clever it was to hold that gathering in the shop – the latest baby ranges giving everyone new and exciting ideas. They valued the lengths she had gone to in developing new suppliers, fostering novel ideas, encouraging innovation in parallel with her main business, and in such diverse ways. He also made known that because of her meetings, others planned on having ABDL gatherings at their homes or premises. So the group was becoming even friendlier and more community spirited. Because of this, he tentatively asked if she herself had such preferences, then immediately apologised for being so forward and presumptive that it was something she would share with a relative stranger. # She flushed a bright red and again Graham apologised for being so invasive but she waved her hand to indicate he had no reason to express regret but confirmed she herself had no such desires. However, Angela decided to tell him a few things that she hoped would explain her current interest in all things ABDL but first asked if this smart debonair man wore nappies and such himself. His face split into a huge grin as he laughed out loud. “No, no, no… I love to see them on others and I can understand why some love to wear them but for myself, no.” He elucidated. “My interest is in my boys. When I first knew about them they were young tearaways heading for a rather gloomy existence. Their past had been horrendous and they’d been horribly scarred by their juvenile life… parents, (he shrugged and sighed) an uncaring and hostile environment. I wanted to change that.” This of course struck a chord with Angela. “I’d like to say I did it for the best of reasons but, in truth, they give me far more than I can give them.” He looked down at his empty plate. “I fear I’ve robbed them of growing up to be noisy, naughty, mistake-making, uncaring teenagers, growing into adulthood.” He looked Angela in the eyes. “I love my boys and would do anything for them but I can’t let them ever be anything but toddlers. I’d hate the world to crush them and I have no doubt that the direction they were going, and the choices they’d already made, that would have happened.” He gave a huge sigh. “I can prevent that so they can have a stress-free life of nappies and toys, playtime and fun for as long as I have the ability to give it to them.” He was surprised after such a confession that Angela wasn’t being judgemental. She’d seen how happy and loving the boys were when she had met them on previous occasions at those Sunday meetings. How keen they were to do as daddy said and how polite they were to everyone. They almost glowed with pride if daddy praised them, which he often did, and they would giggle and wriggle in a joyously boyish way before getting back to their play. Graham confessed further that when he’d put the boys in nappies at the very beginning he thought they looked so damn cute and innocent it was difficult seeing them in any other way. It became the prototype look, the one that he based all other decisions on. So, that’s how they were kept, reliant on ‘daddy’ to change and look after them and for them to remain unsophisticated - pure and infantile. # Angela was more than a bit surprised that her lunchtime companion should have spoken so openly about his boys, and yet she understood perfectly. Was this not the way she hoped to help Terry achieve his ambition of a new start? Was this not exactly the same scenario that might just lead to complete contentment on both his and her part? She was excited to know more. Part 7 To reach your peak, there are many steps to climb Mary Rutherford (1701-1754) Baby Joshua snuggled up to mummy’s bosom, he loved the way she held him tightly - it was such a warm embrace. He wriggled blissfully as he sucked his favourite drink, his mummy encouraging each enjoyable mouthful, saying what a good boy Little Joshi was. She’d pat his padded bottom and slide her hand over the silky vinyl admiring the soft but necessary bulk beneath. Joshua had proved to be a very wet boy who needed his protection especially when he was getting ready to go ‘night-night’. The double fabric nappies and soaker pads making sure her bundle of joy kept his bedding dry no matter how swamped he got whilst sleeping. He squirmed some more as he finished his drink and mummy lifted to burp him before returning her sweet baby back to her loving embrace. Joshua settled his head between mummy’s soft breasts and gurgled his pleasure. Angela slipped a large silicon dum-dum in and let him slowly drift off, which he nearly always did once his darling little tummy was full of milk. Mummy purred and gently rocked him, not quite believing that her life was now complete. His innocent unconditional love and total dependence on her may have been time consuming but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loved everything about Baby Joshua; his baby talk, his baby clothes, his smiling face, the way his eyes lit up when she picked him up and his lack of any understanding apart from “Mummy”. She loved the way he giggled when tickled and changed. She found that he offered her so much more than she anticipated – he was such an adorable little boy. # “What is Bluefile30?” Angela queried. “I could find no reference to it online so feel it’s something I should know about but don’t.” “Ah. I see you’ve been doing some research.” Graham smiled. “That’s what I call it. It’s a neural inhibitor but the title is so damn technical I can never exactly remember it all. However, it comes to me in a glass file with a blue line down it and it is graduated into thirty doses.” He smiled again as if hoping this explained everything. “Thus Blueline30… you understand?” Angela nodded but still felt none the wiser. Graham could see her confusion. “Erm, let me try and explain.” He lowered his voice and Angela drew nearer to be able to hear his whispered tone. “This drug has the mechanism to stop certain actions and responses that say, you and I take for granted, from reaching the brain…er… in particular the pre-frontal cortex.” He looked to see if Angela was following his line of conversation. She was very interested even if she did find it all a bit difficult to follow. He explained some more about the technical and psychological as well as chemical and neurological reactions this drug offered but ended with the phrase that stuck in Angela’s mind. “In return it makes access to the amygdala area, the area that has more to do with childhood, open up and respond to very simple instruction.” She nodded sagely but inside her stomach had butterflies – was this the panacea? Was this the actual thing she needed to fulfil her nurturing desires? She was enthused and needed to know more. # “It has helped me, and I have to confess one or two others, in taking our ‘babies’ back to a simpler time. It regresses the mind, breaks down resistance and makes the subject far more acquiescent to suggestion. Thus, when used in conjunction with positive enforcement, certain deep subliminal words and sound waves, it releases various pleasure neurons which make the subject very, very happy.” Angela was captivated by the possibilities and suddenly saw a real opportunity opening up in front of her. She was excited at the prospect of what she’d be able to do and what the happy result would be for ‘Terry’. The new start he wanted looked like it was a distinct possibility. “Is it safe?” It was a question that Angela asked but wondered if she was all that bothered about the answer… and she felt slightly guilty that this negative thought had flashed through her brain. “Well, Andy and Jamie (his boys) have been on it for some time now. The doses are a lot smaller and less frequent and my only complaint is… they’re just too loving.” She nodded but wanted further clarification. “What did you mean by ‘it stops certain actions and responses you and I take for granted’?” Graham leaned in even further and whispered his response. “The plus side - the recipient is very loving but the most obvious and immediate reaction to the drug is it removes any control over the bladder... and a little later… the bowel.” He shrugged apologetically as if he was offering a warning to the downside of the treatment. “So, a supply of nappies and all sorts of other protection is needed from the start. Being well prepared from the very beginning is paramount. I’m used to it with my boys so it’s not a problem but at first I wasn’t expecting such instant and dramatic results.” His eyes lit up as they always appeared to do when he referenced his boys. He grinned. “They constantly want to be held, hugged, kissed… and changed… I never get a moment’s peace.” He let out a huge belly laugh. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way… they give me a life that I love and I love my boys.” # Angela’s mind was buzzing with all this information - the opportunities and possibilities that had suddenly presented themselves. She had confided in Graham that she could do with some Blueline30 because of an errant nephew who was getting way out of hand. She didn’t go into too much detail but flippantly told him that it seemed a wonderful ‘cure all’ to such a problem. The boy had been a wonderful and beautiful baby, it was a shame he couldn’t be returned to such a state. Angela schemed a little by painting this ‘nephew’ in similar colours to Graham’s own boys – on a downward slope heading for a criminal future etc etc. She made it sound like unfortunately nothing could be done for him as he was probably too far down that road to self-oblivion. Graham had sympathy with the situation and offered (as Angela hoped he would) to get a file and bring it in the following day when he’d have the boys with him. She thanked him but tried to deflect him from thinking it was for her use by wondered if her ‘sister’ would go along with such treatment. However, she added, it might be worth a try. # Despite the excitement that was bubbling inside her about such a prospect she changed the subject and asked where the boys were. Apparently Graham’s sister was looking after them. They called her Nanny and she took as much joy from their childish ways as their daddy. “What a fantastic idea… to have a nanny… that must be such a help?” Angela was now forever on a quest for more and more knowledge. “Yes, yes it is.” He looked at his watch. “I’m sorry Angela but, help or no help, I need to collect my boys… and no doubt you need to return to the shop.” “Good heaven’s… is that the time?” She picked up her things and handed the package of coveralls to Graham. “I’m sure Jamie and Andy will look delightful in these… I look forward to seeing them… sometime.” They parted with a smile, a shake of hands and a promise that he’d return the following day. # Later that evening when she arrived home her mind was full of all manner of plans. She had already spoken to some of her suppliers and got quotes and given instruction for new specialised items to be delivered to her home. Angela could see the future from her perspective and was eager to get things underway. She was pleased to see that Terry had hoovered and tidied the place up a bit and that he had started preparing a meal for them both. “You shouldn’t have gone to such trouble Terry… but thank you… it is appreciated.” He was delighted he’d been able to please her. “No trouble at all, however, I didn’t vacuum your bedroom, erm, sorry but, I, er, thought it a bit presumptuous to enter your space. She smiled at his respectful manner and again thanked him for his thoughtfulness. The fact that such hesitation to do anything that might upset her was also pleasing to her plans. The other gratifying thing was – he was only dressed in her floral pyjama pants and a t-shirt, which simply emphasised his adolescent quality. Whilst he continued preparing the meal Angela went upstairs to change out of her clothes and to put on something a little more comfortable. Before she did she inspected the nursery and saw how tidy he’d made it and even how comfy the inflatable looked with its clean and fresh bedding nicely laid out. However, she was now full of ideas so before venturing back downstairs to join Terry for the meal she lay out a pair of semi-transparent plastic pants and a disposable on top of his bed. She wasn’t going to insist he wear them but hoped that he would feel compelled into doing so if she could make him feel guilty about wetting before they retired for the evening. # The meal was a pasta dish that Terry had cobbled together using a can of soup, and a mixture of ham, cheese and a few mixed herbs to make the sauce. Angela was impressed that such a young boy (she just couldn’t see him as a young man) had such culinary skills. There was a huge amount and perhaps surprisingly delicious, she was impressed that he was being so helpful. They sat and chatted for a while before she excused herself to do some work on her laptop and left him to watch TV on his own. She spent a couple of hours catching up and responding to email and other queries and was overjoyed to get a message from a firm that said they had the item she’d requested in stock. Delivery and erection could be made in 24 hours if desired and that the other items would take approximately four days. She was pretty pleased with the efficiency of this particular supplier but she had given him a great deal of business over the past few years. # Later, she returned with a hot drink for them both and they settled in front of the TV for a drama and the late news. However, once he’d finished it, and it was time to retire, she wondered if perhaps having tea so close to bed time had been a good idea. It was a very obvious hint but she didn’t exactly say the words about him not soaking the bed. However, she did imply that there were precautions left out should he want to avail himself of them. With that she excused herself, wished him a goodnight and climbed the stairs leaving Terry to contemplate what had just been said. He had no inkling as to what exactly those precautions might be so shrugged, took the empty cups into the kitchen, and washed them before calling it a day. He was astonished to see what Angela had left out. Under normal circumstances he’d have rebelled against such babyish items, even though they were the correct size for him. He had wet the bed twice and almost convinced himself he wouldn’t do it again but still there was a nagging doubt whether he’d succeed. However, the resentment that such items instilled brought on flashbacks to when his older brothers and sister made him wear nappies for their own amusement. # From a very early age they had used the fact that he was the youngest, and therefore most compliant, to entertain them by making him wet his pants. He was late to be potty trained and that seemed the excuse to continue his embarrassment. It wasn’t always his fault, often, as he slept, they would piss on him so that it looked like he’d pissed himself during the night. His mother, unaware of the truth (she wouldn’t believe her youngest son’s excuses over the united voices of her other children), so insisted he wore a nappy until she was sure he wouldn’t wet again. His siblings loved to humiliate him in this way and made sure everyone knew what he was wearing, often pulling his shorts or jeans down to reveal the cumbersome infantile fabric. The abuse lasted until he was thirteen, and a couple of times since then, but his family never tired of this particular joke. However much he hated the way he’d been treated in the past he couldn’t really blame Angela’s solution - wet disposable-versus-wet bedding - it seemed a simple choice. Reluctantly he saw he had no real option, if he wet again he dreaded being thrown out and the smell in the nursey was getting far too obvious. Grudgingly he taped himself into the well-padded disposable. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to do it but he’d hoped it would be the last. There was no mirror to check it was fitted correctly but it did feel tight on his hips. The misty vinyl pants were ample enough to cover his nappy and as he climbed under the fleecy blankets he had a happier memory. The last time he’d worn such an item it resulted in him winning a quarter of a million. He snuggled down with a smile on his face. # To begin with he felt most uncomfortable. His mind raced as thoughts of his family who’d stolen and spent every penny he’d earned, without so much as a thought for him, both angered and left him distraught. He’d become the ‘money cow’ (that’s what his eldest brother had nicknamed him) delivering money and being milked of it. The rest of them just used his name to get things and they abused other people in doing so. Many of the things that he was accused of doing were a result of his money-grabbing, attitude-wielding scumbag of a family but he got the blame. It was them who turned the public against him and it was they who had eventually killed the golden goose. The heat from the nappy and the frustration he felt made him boil with resentment. He tossed and turned, scratched and itched, he was sure he’d never sleep with all the thick, hot fabric and the diaphanous plastic pants surrounding his groin. However, like most teenage boys he soon found a way to help relax. With a hand inside his nappy it didn’t take long to get the release needed and settle down to what he hoped would be another wonderful night’s sleep. Whereas previously he’d been able to drop off without the slightest trouble, now his mind was working on making sure he didn’t wet. He had a fitful night, constantly waking up and being relieved, when he shoved his hand down the front of the protection to find he was dry… if just a bit sticky. This happened a few times, the last being just as the light from behind the curtains indicated that dawn had almost arrived. He was part dozing and part awake but pleased that he’d managed to get through the night with no accidents. Stroking the front of his lustrous pants his mind was relaxed as he slowly drifted off back to sleep. # Angela came into Terry’s room and was pleased that there wasn’t that tell-tale smell of urine that had been so obvious on previous occasions. She could tell he was still fast asleep but, because the blankets had fallen off the bed, happy to discover that he was wearing the protection she’d left out. She also noticed that the semi-transparent pants were bulging quite considerably which indicated the disposable had served its purpose. There was something sweet and childlike as she watched the slow rise and fall of his breathing. He squirmed slightly and his plastic pants gave off that rather telling, if muted, rustling sound, the bright blue indicator strips could be seen through the translucent material and his lips were shiny with dribble as he turned to face her. She didn’t want to break the spell but as she had to go to work and needed to set a couple of other ideas of hers in motion had to wake him. # Calling his name she gently shook him awake. “Terry, Terry… Terry, wake up love there’s something I need to ask you.” Slowly his eyes focused and he was aware of Angela’s smiling face in front of him. “Sorry to wake you up, I just wondered, if you’re up for it, and things aren’t too heavy… if you could do something for me?” He lazily stretched and noticed the blanket had fallen away and he was lying there wearing only a nappy and plastic pants. He made a scramble for the blanket to try and cover up but shamefacedly realised that Angela would have noticed that his disposable was expanded and soaked. She saw the embarrassment add colour to his skin. She smiled encouragingly. “Oh Terry, don’t worry, it’s better to use the disposable than have everything else sopping wet.” Her kind words didn’t really lift the gloom that he was feeling. However, he tried to respond to her earlier question. “What is it you want me to do?” “Oh yes, I think we need to make some changes to your room…” He noticed she had said “Your room” “So, if you can, and stuff isn’t too heavy, could you take the crib down to the garage and then, all the boxes in the other bedroom room need to be cleared out. If you could store them down there as well, that would be terrific.” Absentmindedly his hand stroked the front of his bloated diaphanous plastic pants as he listened to her request. Angela noticed, or maybe read into this particular scene, that his sodden nappy and slick vinyl pants were the focus of his attention in such a distracted way. There was something very innocuous about it all, as if he didn’t really mind that much. “I’m not sure you’ll be able to manage it all but any help you can give would be most appreciated. Leave what you can’t carry and perhaps this evening we can organise its removal together?” “Sure. I’ll do what I can.” He gave her a weak smile and hoped she’d leave ‘his room’ so he could be embarrassed on his own. # Part 8 Don't grow up, it's a trap! Peter Pan After he’d heard the door bang shut and car drive off Gordon lay on the bed and ran his hand over his bloated night time protection. There was no denying that it had done its job perfectly well but there was still a slight nagging resentment at the back of his mind - Christ he was twenty years old and shouldn’t be wetting his pants at all. However, he was pleased he’d made the decision to wear the disposable because he was sure Angela wouldn’t put up with any more soaked bedding. He lay there thinking of her words “Your room” and began to relax a little… that seemed very positive. He had no idea why he was wetting at night but whilst he did… perhaps wearing a nappy to sleep in was not a bad price to pay for a roof over his head and a kind lady who was doing her best for him? As his thoughts played with the possibilities his hand distractedly played with the soft silky mound; it was curiously sexy, childish and comforting and he enjoyed the sensation. He knew it was still fairly early so rolled over, pulled the fleecy blankets back over and drifted back to sleep. His dream was almost instant and found himself in a world where he wore a nappy and everyone was smiling. There was no shock or ridicule, everyone seemed pleased to see him and admired his cute colourful protection. This was a world without his family, the press, the trolls on social media… it was a very happy place to be. He was smiling a lot and, until he came to stay with Angela, it was something he hadn’t enjoyed doing for quite some time. # As mummy led him out Joshua was alarmed to find two others in his playpen. They were both smiling boys who were dressed like him - thick nappies, plastic pants and white cotton t-shirts with huge colourful but different dinosaurs printed on the front. At first he was a bit scared of these newcomers but one of them offered him a small but cute looking “dinoroar” (as the new boy called it) and then made him smile behind his dummy when he started dancing and ‘singing’ and pulling faces pretending to be the fierce creature. Joshi wasn’t sure but then the other started crawling around growling, soon all three were holding animals and making whatever noises they thought appropriate. Although the other two boys had a much better vocabulary than Joshi, they seemed more than happy to join with the youngest member of their tight little pack in just making noise. Mummy and Daddy looked on, happy that this first meeting hadn’t been the problem they thought it might be. The babies hugged and swayed whilst having a conversation that the two adults couldn’t understand but which the little kids did. Gibberish babble soon had the juvenile trio deep in playtime, where the newness of the meeting had been immediately forgotten. The huge plastic area of his playpen crinkled and squeaked, as they squealed and screeched, in a joyful fantasy of their own making. # Gordon woke up from his pleasant dream to find his nappy expanded to capacity. This time he actually remembered the moment just before waking up when he’d voluntarily peed, enjoying the warming sensation that followed. He couldn’t understand why it had given his so much pleasure. He threw back the covers and, despite being only slightly annoyed that he’d done what he’d done, was glad that nothing else was wet. He got to his feet and was amazed just how much his disposable held because it felt so big and heavy hanging in his glossy plastic pants. He was a bit thrown by his emotional state, whereas, only yesterday wetting the bed had caused him great concern, today, with it all contained, he felt bizarrely elated. Standing contemplating this turn of events he ran his hands over the shiny plastic and realised it was they and they alone that was keeping everything in. He wiggled his hips - the weighty bulk providing a peculiar buzz. He began to dread taking them off in case his piss just flooded out everywhere. Also, and perhaps inexplicably, he didn’t want to take them off. His mind raced to find some kind of rationalisation because he knew he should be horrified; had his family’s past exploits schooled him into believing this was acceptable or was he simply relieved that he hadn’t wet the bed and such a reprieve was showing up in this odd way? He swayed again, the morning sunlight catching his straining shiny plastic pants and for a moment made them glow – it looked like his groin was encased in polished silver. # Angela was full of plans. She couldn’t wait for Graham to arrive but in the meantime, in between serving her eager mums-to-be, managed to organise the delivery of her latest project. She hoped Terry would be able to move most of the stuff from his room and the spare room because she had big plans for both areas. Two young boys dressed in junior school uniforms were her first indication that Graham had arrived. Excitedly, the two giddy kids, looking well-turned-out in the uniforms of an independent school over in the next city – grey shirt and shorts, purple and grey tie and purple blazers, greeted her with a hug. She was just as pleased to see them as they were her and handed them both a lollipop, which she kept for just such occasions. “Tank yew Miss,” they chorused. As the boys hugged Angela she could hear the crinkle of plastic pants and could see the thick outline of their protection filling out their stylish little grey corduroy shorts. As daddy entered the shop she patted their bottoms and pointed them towards the latest arrivals in the toy section. “Morning Angela,” he beamed. “Morning Graham, nice to see Andy and Jamie looking so smart… are they going somewhere special?” “They’re visiting friends a little later but were very excited when I told them they were coming to see you first… you seem to have been a great hit with them.” “Oh, I hope so; they’re both very sweet boys.” # She was desperate to know if he’d brought the Blueline30 but was content to go along with the pleasantries first. Graham was a very easy man to talk to and even some of the other lady customers turned their heads to admire this smart and dignified man with two young children in tow. They may have been a little bigger than what you’d expect of junior schoolboys but the uniform was quite prestigious because this high-class learning establishment was well known at being sticklers for wearing the correct uniform at all times. The private school’s illustrious status also indicated that the wearers of such a uniform came from a very well to do family of privilege and money. To Graham this was just another form of camouflage to keep people from asking too many questions. Both boys were actually teenagers but they behaved and had the mental and verbal capacity of toddlers, which was how their daddy liked to keep them. So he’d adapted several outfits that the boys could wear in public that wouldn’t draw too many searching questions; schoolboys, cub scouts, football and other sports strips. Although he could quite easily have dressed them ‘age appropriately’ he was of the opinion that they would have trouble with their peers and that it would only add confusion to their innocent demeanour. Wearing childish clothing may have led to ridicule from their peers, though in fact it just made these older children not want to be involved with such ‘babies’, so they kept their distance. The boys didn’t know any different, like all toddlers, they wore whatever daddy dressed them in. As long as they didn’t have to answer questions things were OK. However, they’d been instructed that if anyone spoke to them they had to run and find daddy immediately. So far this little deception had worked fairly well. # Back at the house and Gordon was still dressed in his night time protection but had already cleared the crib and other bits and pieces from his room down to the garage. He enjoyed being busy, as well, bizarrely, the feeling his ballooning nappy was giving him. Quite a few times he’d stop and run his hands over the distended plastic mass and shiver with delight at this slippery marvel. The other room was full of boxes, cases, trunks and an assortment of old clothing. Still, he’d been asked to empty the entire room so just got on with Angela’s request. He struggled with a few of the weightier items but was determined to have the job done before Angela returned from work. He was also wondering just what her plans were for both rooms. He’d taken her “Your room” as proof that he wasn’t going to be kicked out any time soon, although why he thought he’d become a permanent fixture he wasn’t sure. The thing was, in just a very short time he’d come to rely on Angela as a ‘mother’ figure. It was true that his first thought was that she maybe wanted some kind of ‘toyboy’ but her approach towards care and understanding had definitely been more maternal than carnal. He’d dismissed the sex side of things pretty rapidly because of the way she’d shot him down when he spoke of ‘payment’. However, she had said that once he was on a more even keel, and felt he could sort out his problems, he would no doubt be on his way. This was the last thing he wanted. He definitely didn’t want to go anywhere and would do all he could to stay under such a caring person’s roof because quite simply – he felt both safe and loved. Meanwhile, as he looked around the now empty second bedroom he hoped that one of the rooms would include a more permanent bed for him. He let his mind wonder as to how he’d like ‘his room’ decorated and the bedding he’d choose… He had no idea what Angela had in store for him. # Quite some time before Terry arrived in Angela’s life the ABDL side of the business was already doing very well. The mail order had grown from nothing to quite a thriving little industry in its own right. However, it was the variety of people and interested parties this lifestyle brought into Angela’s sphere she liked the most. It was different, it was a little spooky, it was loving, it was cute but occasionally it was scarily innovative. Angela had become obsessed with how Andy and Jamie acted. They weren’t ABDL people, they were regressed teenagers who were kept as toddlers for their own good, well, for their daddy’s good actually, but she didn’t see anything wrong with that. All she saw was two big kids enjoying a carefree life full of love and concern. They wanted for nothing and in Graham they had a ‘daddy’ who would move Heaven and Earth for their happiness. Of course, the greater part of her ABDL customers were nothing like these two boys. They were grown-ups with certain childish desires but who in the main operated as grown-ups the majority of the time. However, her plan was to have Terry the same way Graham had his boys. This desire on her part had come to her very quickly once she had Terry in her home. It appeared that in just a couple of days, after the initial normal response to a scared and suicidal teenager, Angela, armed with what just could be done to people like Andy and Jamie, had set herself on an innovative course of her own. Terry needed love and by the sound of things, hadn’t received much of that so far in his life. Angela wanted to change his circumstances, alter his references, obliterate the negative from his past and let him experience unreserved love from the very beginning… his beginning… his new start. # Graham passed a small package over to her and, keeping his voice low, reminded her that it was important that the dose shouldn’t be exceeded. “An overdose could prove very problematic, you might never get your nephew back, and he’d be forever lost as an incontinent, needy juvenile.” Angela nodded that she understood. An email the previous night explaining Blueline30’s effects and how it needed to be administered with care had proved most interesting reading. He also gave her a copy of his own subliminal audio file to help in his conditioning. “Play this to him as often as you can and have it playing when he goes to sleep. You might find that after the first dose he will be easier to control and will respond more quickly to your suggestions if his mind already thinks a certain way” “You mean more childish?” Graham nodded. Angela didn’t know if Graham had already sussed that the drug was for her personal project but he never questioned her motives. In many ways Graham and Angela were very much alike; they had tons of love to give but had been deprived of that outlet for one reason or another. She had a great deal of time for both him and his boys. # Gordon was sweating profusely. He’d managed to clear everything out of the spare bedroom and stack it neatly (even if he did say so himself) in the garage. He let out a sigh of contentment at a job well done. It was 2pm and he still wore his soaked nappy, he hadn’t bothered to get changed thinking that as there was no one else around he didn’t need to. However, he was beginning to itch a little and thought it time to take a shower and change into some daytime clothes. Once he’d stripped he felt strangely naked without his full nappy. That thickness and silky outer skin had captivated him all morning and now suffering its loss wriggled distractedly under the warming jets. Perhaps he was just realising how heavy it had become and relieved now he’d discarded the weight. However, his thoughts were not on what he was going to wear once out of the shower but looking forward to hopefully having to wear his night time protection again. Angela had noticed the fact that he was wet so he did a little dance of pleasure when he thought she would insist he stuck to wearing protection later on. He checked his bottom and groin and could see that it was all looking a little redder than it should. He searched in the cabinet and found some moisturising cream and some talc and spread them around the glowing parts before putting on his underwear and the pyjama bottoms. His t-shirt barely came down to the top but he felt comfortable padding around barefoot exactly as he was. He even planned on making a special meal for when Angela got home. # Things were moving at a rapid pace. In such a short space of time Angela had made decisions, come to conclusions and put her plans into place to make sure Terry would have his new start. She was determined that he would know love from the very first moment and that that love was constant and unwavering. His new start would be just that; a brand new start from the very beginning. He’d know the love only a mother can give so she needed him to be totally reliant on her for everything. A teenage boy was fairly independent and Terry had been so far, even if it had all got too much for him. She would take him back to a new childhood and away from any grown up worries. She would make sure he got his new start and, armed with the file of Blueline30, couldn’t wait to get the process underway. As Angela drove home she was feeling well equipped; she already had the nappies, disposables, vinyl pants and suitable clothing for her ‘Little Baby Boy’ organised in the boot of her car. The following day the crib she ordered would arrive so that would be a very good starting point. She also had workmen planned to construct the nursery and then build the playroom – her new baby would have plenty of space for fun. # Later, after another pretty successful meal, as they sat watching the final news story of the night something happened that made Angela look at Terry in a most disbelieving way. # Part 9 Change me not the child, his purity is divine Rev Llewelyn Farnsby (1873 – 1952) “Concern has been raised over the whereabouts of former reality TV star Gordon Littlewood after a disturbing video has been uploaded onto social media.” There then followed the newsreader giving a potted analysis of his career featuring a montage of clips of Gordon’s time on ‘There and Then - Here and Now’ and a series of unedifying headlines about his downfall in the public consciousness. “The recently released video shows twenty year-old Mr Littlewood being abused by several men...” Angela looked at Terry in complete disbelief. How come this schoolboy was being described as a twenty year-old former TV personality? She was shocked but not as shocked as Terry who looked both sad and terrified as tears streamed down his cheeks. The newsreader continued. “…whilst his anxious family revealed there has been no contact with the former television personality for several weeks...” A further montage of photographs, including one of him dressed as a baby on the show continued. “His distressed family are worried that he may have been kidnapped, although no ransom has yet been received.” There was then a short but tearful interview with his mother who, fearing the loss of her youngest son was in a highly emotional state. “The police are continuing their investigation but anyone knowing the whereabouts of Gordon Littlewood should notify the police immediately.” # A stunned silence followed. # “What the hell was all that about?” Angela was very confused. “Terry, what is going on?” “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry” Terry’s apology could hardly be heard. His head was spinning out of control as his body simply submerged itself in anguish. He felt his life collapsing in on him and the wail of misery couldn’t be contained. Although Angela was mystified by the news story she’d just witnessed, there was a young boy next to her crying his eyes out and in desperate need of some kind of solace. She pulled him into an embrace and stroked his hair. Sorrow wracked his body and, in between huge gulps for air, all he could mumble was the word “sorry”. Even though she’d just heard that the little innocent boy she comforted was a television star and twenty years old, she found it hard to equate the two. Terry was a sweet boy, whereas Gordon, according to the news reports, was a vile young man. # Angela held Terry tightly until the sobbing lessened. Eventually he couldn’t put off his defence much longer. “I’m so sorry Angela. I’ve been trying to avoid my past for ages now… erm… I’m sorry I lied to you but I, er, thought, um, if you knew who I was, erm….” The words dried up as emotion got the better of him and he hugged her and wept some more. There was no denying that for Terry, the comfort of Angela’s warm embrace, made him feel safe though he was unsure just what this news would mean. Probably that he’d be on his way very soon, but whilst he could he wanted her to know how much her kindness was valued. Angela decided to stay silent until he’d said his piece. The Blueline30 that was just inches away in her handbag would have to wait now that a rather large spanner had been thrown into the works. The word ‘Sorry’ was mumbled in between Terry’s sniffs and blubbing. It gave her time to think. # In due course Terry was able to pull himself together and explain what she’d just seen in the news report. Yes, he had been on a TV reality show. He had won a quarter of a million and his family had taken it all. His mother insisting that his eldest brother looked after his finances, whilst the rest of them would be employed in other ways. He described the relief he felt whilst in the TV house away from his family, a few weeks of total bliss. The tasks they had to perform and the humiliation designed for the titillation of viewers was as of nothing compared to his constant violation at home. Once he’d won the show his family took full advantage and, he pleaded his innocence with Angela, that most of the bad press was as a result of his rotten family using his celebrity. Angela listened without asking questions. He looked so small and scared and despite everything, she could still only see him as a frightened and suicidal little boy - the fact that he was dressed in such a kiddie way; barefoot, floral pyjama bottoms and t-shirt only added to her concern. # He explained the video that had been uploaded and had caused the concern… and yes that was his mother showing how emotional she was about the situation and with a sniff added. “She should get an Oscar for that ‘caring’ performance.” He clarified that at his most depressed he fell in with a group who had recognised him and offered to help. However, all they were interested in was having ‘fun’ with this dejected celebrity so used and abused him in ways he’d really rather not talk about. Angela nodded, seeing how much pain he was in just telling the absolute minimum, she knew how bad it must have been. “I’d been walking the streets for a couple of days since they let me go… until you found me.” He looked at her. “I’m really sorry Angela but your kindness was the first time someone actually cared about me, not knowing who I was… it was fantastic… and I worried that, er, if you found out you’d like me less.” # Terry spoke a great deal about how much, in just the few days he’d known her, he saw there were kindness, empathy and understanding in a world which he’d been keen to leave. He told her that had she not turned up when she did, he would have jumped simply because he had nothing to live for. At the end of his story Angela knew more, understood more and didn’t blame Terry for doing and saying what he had. She wanted to look out for this sad young man and all that he’d described tugged even more on her heartstrings. His life had been rotten, it needed a drastic change, she was more determined than ever to give him the new start he so craved. Finally she looked him straight in the eyes. “OK Terry, er, Gordon, er, Mr Littlewood there is only one thing I need to know.” Terry looked scared but knew this moment was coming, the moment when he’d be kicked out and he’d have to sort out his own life without the influence of his guardian angel. “Do you still want a new start?” This wasn’t the question he was expecting and she’d asked it in such a quiet enquiring manner, not an ultimatum or in anger, it was more like a secret request. He was pleased and his heart skipped a couple of beats as he thought of a future… a future he was unsure of but at least he was going to get help from Angela in achieving it. He was happy. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want.” “Good,” Angela smiled. # The Blueline30 stayed in her bag. She had planned to administer the first dose in the final drink of the night. For the moment that had to be put on temporary hold as Angela thought about a course of action. “You’ll never get a new start if the police are looking for you so… I suggest you let them know you are safe…” “No, no.” Terry became a little agitated. “They’ll insist that my family gets involved and I don’t want that to happen…” “I realise that.” Angela was being very reassuring. She’d surprised herself with how quickly she came up with what she hoped would be a solution but first wanted to sleep on it, toss the idea around before revealing it to Terry. “You don’t have to worry Ter, er, Gord, er… no, you don’t have to worry. Trust me. I’ll be with you every step of the way and I won’t let your family, or the police, take you away.” It was silly really. He was actually over the legal age and could do what he liked. However, Angela still saw him as a little boy and the grateful look on his cherubic face didn’t detract from that image. Terry looked positively relieved at her comforting words. However, I think we need to sleep on it so… time for bed.” # She’d already laid out another disposable and a pair of pale blue plastic pants on his bed and whilst there had picked up Terry’s useless phone and hoped to get it to work. He was happy to see the protection and this time there was no resentment as he taped himself in and pulled on the sleek cover. Smoothing them against his groin he gave a huge sigh; one of relief, mixed with one of pleasure. He climbed under the fleecy blankets and bounced around a little on the inflatable bed as he got comfortable. Terry was a little more relaxed now he thought Angela was on his side and determined to help in some way. She popped her head around the door. “Terry, you’ve been through a lot so… I have this relaxing music I use if I get agitated or too many thoughts are rushing around in my head. I find it helps give me a good night’s sleep.” She plugged in the player and switched it on without Terry saying much but nodded his approval. Graham Griffin’s audio file started low. “I’m sure you’ll find it as beneficial as… well… it’s designed to remove nightmares and fill your head with relaxed thoughts as the gentle sounds register in your subconscious.” She said this in a rather airy, light-hearted, dismissive way as if she didn’t quite believe its qualities herself, but she was acting. She really didn’t need to go into any explanation, Terry was already very comfortable under his blankets and his smooth, slippery protection made him wriggle with delight. “Good night Terry, sleep well.” The door closed and the soothing tones and soft waves crashing against a beach added a calm and reassuring ambience to the darkened room. He fell asleep not knowing that although his nappy was soon to become a permanent thing; his days of sleeping on an inflatable bed were numbered. Meanwhile, his head was filled with suggestions and words of encouragement: He was very lucky, his mummy loved him, it was OK to wet his nappy, he was a very good boy. These thoughts circled his mind but the music was so appealing and relaxing it all made sense. # Angela’s workmen arrived early to make a start on the alterations to the bedrooms. Terry had only just woken up when he heard the knock on the door but didn’t know what was happening. Angela installed the workers in the spare room before looking in on Terry who was up and wondering what was going on. “Sorry about the noise. The, er, builders have arrived.” She said by way of explanation. Despite him standing dressed only in his night time protection, which didn’t appear to worry him at all, or that Angela could once again see he had filled his bloated nappy; he was more concerned with what was going on. He looked anxious again. “Sorry Terry, I was hoping to keep it a secret but, you know; now there’s little point in keeping it from you. The men are here to fix the spare room into a place more suited to your needs. A proper place to sleep and some space for… er… yourself.” Terry’s eyes lit up in appreciation. “Oh mum… er… Angela, thank you, thank you… how… fantast…” He rushed up to her and hugged tightly. “That’s so nice.” He weakly whispered… again overcome with emotion. She patted his soaked nappy. She liked this intimacy and loved the feel of his soft and slippery protection. He, also enjoying the situation, held her for quite some time. There was a warmth and understanding in her that Terry craved. Ever since that first touch, when she guided him down from the bridge, he’d desired her kindness and approval. Never had he been a recipient of such natural affection and in truth thought he was both lucky but undeserving. He didn’t want anything to change that dynamic… and now he was getting his own room, the signs were for an auspicious future. Angela broke into his thoughts. “It’s a nice day. The men don’t want us under their feet, so why don’t we get to work on making sure the police are no longer searching, or people worried, about you?” # As the workforce got stuck in redecorating, laying new carpet and building a large crib and playpen Angela guided Terry out into the back field to make their little video. She’d taken Terry’s phone and recharged it hoping that was all it needed to make it work; she was pleased to see it operated just fine once the battery was full. Angela had also spent the night doing her own research on Gordon (Little) Littlewood and was amazed at just how famous he was… once was. She was appalled at some of his antics and laughed at some of the stuff reported he’d done on the reality show. Yes his small stature and baby looks had certainly helped make him a winner - shame that it hadn’t lasted. # “Do you still have access to your Facebook page?” Terry wondered why she was asking such a question. “I think so, I haven’t been on for such a long time, I was getting way too many nasty comment I stopped using it.” “I understand that but, do you still have access?” He still didn’t completely understand. “Look, what we need to do is for you to make a little movie using your phone camera. You need to tell everyone that you are sorry that you’ve caused such a worry but that you’ve been trying to avoid being in the public eye. You’ve been depressed but now you’ve met up with some people on the same wavelength as you so are happy leaving the limelight to those who want it.” He was beaming from ear to ear. “Does this make sense?” “Angela, that’s brilliant… I can say what I like. Maybe emphasise I don’t want to waste the police’s precious resources, I’m avoiding my terrible family and that I want to disappear completely and have no wish to be searched for because I’m now happy away from the press and pressures of… everything.” He gabbled. Angela was pleased that he’d cottoned on so quickly and was enthusiastic to do his piece. She was also surprised at just how good he was at coming up with such coherent thoughts and expressing them into camera (she supposed it was probably something to do with the reality show he’d been on). They found a rather inconspicuous area in the overgrown field behind Angela’s home and rehearsed his piece a couple of time before she held the camera and Terry performed his bit. # The spare room was being quickly transformed. The team worked speedily and had the room exactly like Angela requested; pale yellow walls, pale blue ceiling, and light-eliminating blinds. The construction of the crib was easy to slot together and screw firmly into place, as were the closet, draws and the changing table. The playpen took slightly longer with wooden bars circling it to keep baby safe and securely in place. The last things they installed were the thick plastic mattress in the crib and a similar, though much larger one to cover the entire play area. Both areas were now slippery, soft, comfy, baby-safe and waterproof. Soon everything was looking good and all but complete; Angela herself would add the finishing touches. The piles of nappies, the colourful plastic pants, baby clothes, bottles and containers of soothing oils and powder, the room would smell of a well looked after baby. Images of babies in nappies were planned for a border to stretch all the way around the room as were smiling cartoon animals to match some of the bedding she’d already ordered. She couldn’t wait to install the mobile she’d bought when first expecting all those years ago. The room would be a wonderful haven for a happy baby. # Gordon Littlewood was suddenly in his element. He wanted to put an end to the police activity but thought they might need a good motive to stop looking. He took a great delight in listing the reasons why he was disappearing and laid the blame squarely on his scumbag (his word) of a family. He wanted to move the spotlight from him and onto that nasty group of tormentors who’d made his life hell. He wanted to make sure that the next round of newspaper headlines was about them and not him. He let rip. Comforted by the wet nappy he’d never removed, he enjoyed having such power. His mind raced to put all his grievances into a tight little two minute segment. Angela held the camera but couldn’t help notice that throughout his tirade to camera he wiggled and constantly played with his cumbersome groin… it was if he was finding comfort, inspiration and support from his nappy. The camera didn’t show that on screen. He wasn’t sure why but seemed to have gained confidence and awareness in himself and as a result, a nappy, wet or dry, was something he wanted and liked to wear. There was a happy glow about him now. He was buoyant and alive and this transferred itself onto the little video. He still looked like a young teenager but his words had been damning for his family and his desire to disappear seemed to make a great deal of sense after what they’d put him through. # Gordon was able to upload straight from the phone to his Facebook page and with a hug and a sigh felt that was the end to that part of his life. Angela checked to make sure his little video was correctly and completely installed on his page and with a look of relief congratulated him on a job well done. At the back of her mind she hoped that if they tried to trace back to the phone it would prove authentic but useless. Angela and Terry (he was still Terry to her) celebrated with a bottle of soda each and a feeling of total liberation; they toasted to a better life and a new start. # The line that was often repeated by members of the public was his reaction to the sordid video that had been placed on social media and had caused this search in the first place. “Those men did some awful, unforgivable things to me but that was as nothing to the lifelong suffering and abuse my family inflicted.” He finished the piece to camera wishing every one well and hoping that they would find the happiness he had found. Although it sounded like he’d joined a cult, the fact that he’d done nothing illegal brought any police involvement to a close. As an offshoot, it also increased Gordon’s profile and a desperate desire by reporters to get the ‘real’ story about Gordon Littlewood. The Facebook video was soon trending and became one of the most watched YouTube clips. His family were ridiculed and ferociously castigated in the press; the very press that had been so quick to vilify Gordon now held him up as a victim. New stories about him appeared - anything to cash in on his name now it was back in the public arena. An exclusive and syndicated interview would have netted him another small fortune but he was unaware of this interest because Blueline30 was now flowing through his bloodstream. # Once they’d confirmed the video had uploaded correctly Angela took the phone, removed the SIM card and tossed it into the undergrowth. “There, now they can’t track you down or annoy you anymore.” She gave him a conspiratorial smile, which he returned with a hug. “Thank you.” They toasted their success with a cooling fizzy drink, both relieved that it was now all over. Angela looked up into the sunlit sky and then back to Terry. “Things are going to be different from now on,” she confided. “Everything is about to change… for both of us.” # The spiked soda was already working and the unexpected loss of bladder control made Terry suddenly stand still wondering what was going on. The soft hissing sound of pee adding to his already full nappy, together with the sudden vacant look in his eyes, meant that Blueline30 was working as promised. Angela was well prepared. She’d brought a bag with various items she knew would be needed. Terry stood doubting what was happening but could no longer comprehend anything. His body shivered and a tear came to his eye, something was wrong, something had… He was no longer able to control his body and, as his nappy filled, all he could do was sob. Taking a change mat from her bag Angela spread it out on the ground and helped the confused and immobile teen down onto it. She relieved him of his soaked disposable and for the first time, set about cleaning up her baby. “There, there sweetheart… I’ll have you all clean and tidy in a moment.” She looked down at a naked Terry and realised that there needed to be a few cosmetic changes to his hairy little body… but all in good time. Angela loaded a disposable with extra soak pads and then taped the thick garment into place before pulling up some bright cartoon vinyl pants. Terry didn’t appear to know what was happening, his limbs, floppy and uncoordinated, offering no resistance as she went about dressing him. A colourful childish t-shirt and loose fitting cotton shorts added to making him look even younger than before. “Who’s my Sweetums?” She cooed and kissed his forehead, whilst patting reassuringly on his bulging padded groin. He looked so cute but there was still a slight strained, unhappy look on his face with weepy eyes and a cry not very far away. She took out the final emblem of his new life and slipped a soothing pink dum-dum between his lips. Within a short space of time, Terry/Gordon disappeared replaced by a nursing little baby Joshua. A new name and a new start, Angela wondered, if anything could be better. The Beginning ##### The End
  22. As the tech problem appears to have lost this story completely I have reposted the first four chapters in one go. I shall hopefully be adding more as we go along but I suppose we need to make sure this is all working again. I've missed keeping up with all the fab stories and looking for old ones that are quite brilliant. ############################################ My 18th Birthday “Stoopid, stoopid, stoooooopid,” I was so angry with myself for letting it happen. I was rapping my knuckles on my forehead, shouting and scowling at myself because I just couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been. I know I’m not the brightest person in the world but I should have caught on sooner and I wouldn’t be in the mess, literally, that I was now… sitting in. With a thick diaper stuck to my body, I disliked immensely the way the poop engulfed everything and made me feel both dirty and queasy. It didn’t help that I was being chastised for being “A dirty little baby” and made to feel that was all that I would ever achieve. Banging my head wasn’t helping as it hurt. I sat shaking in my pile of poo unable to do much else and began, as I so often did these past few days, to cry. No doubt I looked the picture of abject misery but, this is what the people had wanted and they were getting just that from my current display. * My name is Benjamin or Ben, never Benjy as I’ve always thought that sounded so childish. My parents are both quite high achievers in their respective fields; mom being an art historian and dad being a Biotech company CEO. My older sister, Gwyneth had her first book published when she was sixteen, her second did quite well and her third, Smart Moves, had recently been optioned for a movie. I on the other hand am basically just that, basic. I have no conspicuous talent. I cannot play sports very well (although I’m always game for a … game) and my academic achievements had me constantly in the bottom half-dozen or so. It wasn’t that I didn’t try, Hell; I never stopped trying as I had a great deal to live up to but I just wasn’t clever enough. Simply put, compared to the rest of my family I am DUMB, not gifted in anyway but, on the plus side, I would try anything if I could. Whereas the rest of my family have terrific jobs I’m stacking produce at our local superstore. It’s boring and doesn’t pay well; a group of Mexicans, East Europeans and me all work for minimum pay just so we have a job to our name. It probably is about the only thing I can do without mucking up but I’d like something better. But hey, look around you – do you see loads of bosses desperate to give high paying jobs away to the likes of me? You get what you’re given and like it… or at least don’t complain about it. I’ve heard being described by my parents as ‘over-emotional’ (although it’s always said as a whisper and as if I wasn’t even in the room). Obviously it is a somewhat dismissive term but I’m not sure I know why being ‘over-emotional’ is a bad thing. OK, I admit that I can cry at seeing kittens and puppies playing (in fact any baby creatures immediately win my heart) but it’s out of joy. I know I’ve been known to cry at some awful news story where people have been hurt or killed and I also seem to identify with the images of the starving across the world and yes, I am emotional and get upset about any form of violence. For a guy my age I watch very little TV because I find it too violent and the same with computer games. My friends, those few I have, think I’m weird and a bit of a ‘softie’ (although I’m sure they say much worse). OK. So I’m still living at home with Mom and Dad, when they are here, otherwise I’m shipped off to my clever author sister while they are away on business, vacation or whatever as they don’t trust me not to wreck or set fire the house if I’m left to my own devices. Chance would be a fine thing. * It was approaching my 18th Birthday and I was looking forward to some kind of celebration as all my other (few) friends had huge parties when they had reached this magical age. Alas, both my parents would be away on business for a month and my sister wasn’t interested in giving me a party. I suggested we go out for a meal, or something, but she’d just had some bad news herself and was in no mood for any kind of celebration. Gwyneth had just found out that her boyfriend of three years had recently sired a baby with another girl, whilst my sister had just lost her own. Her house was no place for merriment and I was happy to spend as much time as I could stacking shelves and collecting trolleys just so I wasn’t around her too much. However, one late night I saw her looking through an album of old photographs. She was smiling at a page that had some rather cute pictures of me. The one she was particularly happy about was of me, I must have been barely one year-old, sleeping and cuddling my teddy bear (Teddy), whilst wearing only a particularly thick and well-pinned diaper. My blue pacifier seemed to cover half my face but I looked so happy and contented hugging Teddy tightly. According to Gwyneth, I was always a happy, chirpy little baby, always smiling and rocking in my diaper or crawling around on some expedition that ended with me back where I started. * Eventually, as we settled together on the sofa she asked, with an air of sadness, regret and nostalgia, what it was that I missed most about my childhood. I shrugged and looked at the album, the page still open at me and my teddy bear. “That.” I said emphatically. “I miss having something to cuddle.” When I was five years-old my parents, no doubt thinking it was for my own good (or something they had read somewhere) decided to get rid of all my childish notions by throwing out all my baby toys and mementoes. Teddy went with the rest of the stuff to the goodwill store and I never saw him again. I was devastated and I know for weeks after I’d wake up wet both from crying so much and peeing the bed. The last thing they wanted to do was put me back in diapers (it was against the very concept of my growing up) but mom would only put up with wet sheets for a couple of days before she insisted I wear disposables on a night. Oddly enough, these became my comfort for the next few months until I was gradually weaned off my loss of Teddy and eventually back into pjs. Gwyneth took another look at the photo I was still pointing at. “You do look particularly sweet,” she said nodding at the photo and then half to herself, “perhaps I should get you something special for your birthday after all?” Now I love my sister, in fact, I love everybody. I try not to be nasty to anyone and I go out of my way to be respectful to my seniors (Gwyneth is six years older than me) and try and do what I can to help if they are in difficulties or provide a cheerful word if they look like they might need one. I’m no Good Samaritan but I do help out at charity events and the church if they need any volunteers. At work, on their charity day, I was helping run the crèche, organise the free food and dress up as a clown to entertain the children. I got extra credit for all my efforts and was able to get an extra 5% off anything I bought in the store that week. Alas, I had no money and there was nothing I wanted. * As my 18th birthday approached I noticed that Gwyneth’s mood improved, as if in some way my reaching this age had cheered her up. I was glad to see her a lot happier and we chatted long into the night about silly stuff and our family. She was telling me that at the moment she had a sort of ‘writer’s block’ (which after all she’d been through I could understand) and that she was glad she had her ‘little brother’ to keep her company through this trying time. I felt sorry for her having to go through all that but was pleased that I was there and in some way help. Perhaps my parents hadn’t been quite as selfish as I’d thought in not letting me stay at home on my own. The guys at work had bought me celebratory cake for my birthday, which we wolfed down in our lunch break. I received a card signed by them all and also received a load of pats on the back and ‘well dones’ throughout the day. You’re probably wondering why I wasn’t out with my friends or girlfriend, well, I don’t have that many friends and most girls are only interested in a guy with a car and I didn’t fall into that particular category. When I got home the mailman had been but I got not so much as a card from mom and dad. I suppose they were too busy but you’d think… wouldn’t you? Thankfully, Gwyneth had remembered and not only got me a card but a present. * It was the biggest teddy bear I’d ever seen. It was slightly bigger than me and had this huge blue bow around its neck just like Teddy had. At first I thought ‘what a stupid gift’ but then I remembered our conversation from a few days previously and, ever thoughtful, she had actually bought me something she thought I’d love. As I stroked his soft fleecy bulk (yes I named him Teddy as I’m that imaginative), his glassy eyes and stitched on smile won me over and I couldn’t stop cuddling him… he was so soft and… wonderful. Gwyneth was delighted that I was happy and we sat and had a meal that she had specially prepared. She even offered me a glass of a rather nice chilled white wine, which for once didn’t taste of warm sour apples like I’d had in the past, although I really wasn’t much of a drinker. After two rather large glasses I was quite giggly and Gwyneth was very entertaining. She took a few photographs on her phone of me and Teddy cuddling and kissing (yes I know but I’d had a couple of drinks) and she thought how delightful we both looked. Then she said she had an idea and wondered if I’d be up for a dare. I wasn’t sure where this was going but, with my inhibitions loosened by the wine, nodded and she suggested we recreate that image of me of when I was one year old. * I laughed out loud. She laughed along with me and then said that perhaps, we should ask Teddy? “OK Teddy, you huge cuddlesome beast,” she giggled like she was a seven year-old, “should Benjy…” Now I giggled like a toddler as I looked into Teddy’s eyes half expecting him to actually reply. His huge furry face and soft welcoming body oozed love and friendliness… this was a Teddy who would always be there for you… for me… and would never steer me wrong. “… should Benjy accept the dare?” She nodded then looked at me who was watching her and then looked back at Teddy. Suddenly she leapt up and gave a little shout “There,” she said emphatically, “he just nodded.” I looked back at Teddy and there was no doubt that his smile appeared to have got broader (though this might be down to the influence of alcohol on my brain) and he was nodding (again this might have been down to my sister pushing him with an unseen hand), either way, it was conclusive. Teddy wanted me to re-enact my photo. * I started cuddling him but Gwyneth said that I had to change first. I wasn’t too sure what she meant but she told me to follow her to her room. “OK, let’s do this correctly,” she slurred slightly, “We need you dressed properly.” I wasn’t sure what was about to happen but I was enjoying the silliness of the situation so went along with it. “Take off your clothes,” she waved her hand in the direction of them, “and lay down on my bed.” I was a little bit shocked at the suggestion but it was my sister and she wouldn’t be seeing anything she hadn’t seen thousands of times before, which she reminded me of as I slowly pulled off my shirt and dropped my jeans. “Yesshh, and your boxers,” she went off in search of something in the bathroom. Reluctantly, I slid them to the floor and then playfully kicked them off. They landed on a lampshade, which immediately made me start to giggle even more. “Now I’m an accurate kicker,” I half grumbled to myself. “Why wasn’t I that good when I played soccer and there were other people around?” * I lay out naked on the soft, feather-filled, cream and blue duvet that covered her bed and awaited her return; my bare dick not displaying any of its usual feistiness like it often did when it came to being free of clothing. I stroked it a couple of times but thankfully it wasn’t playing and at that point Gwyneth arrived back in the room carrying a thick towel and I guilty let go of my prized ‘toy’. “I’ll get you something else to play with later,” she mocked as she pretended to slap away my hand. I realised what she was going to do and thought “Why not go all the way?” so let her fold it into shape and slip it under my bum… although before pinning it into place she sprinkled some baby powder all over me. “Now you even smell the part,” she was smiling and that had me responding in the same way as I quite like the smell of talcum powder. Nakedness between us has never been a problem. Nudity was never shameful in our family and it was just ‘normal’ that we wondered from bedroom to bathroom naked as it was wearing something. As we grew up we didn’t hide ourselves from each other so it was really no big deal for her to see my genitals, though perhaps not so close up. Even though she hadn’t lived at home for a couple of years now I wasn’t bothered as she rubbed the powder in and then tightly pulled the towel up between my legs and pinned it into place. She pulled me to my feet and let me look at myself in the mirror. I was amazed at how thick the towel fashioned as a diaper appeared but, and I have to hand this to my sister, it looked exactly like the one I was wearing as a baby all those years ago. She was smiling. “Let’s go show it off to Teddy… see what he thinks off his little friend… his little Benjy.” **** Part 2 Though it’s a name I never really liked, Benjy just seemed appropriate at that moment. She took my hand and guided me back to Teddy who once again seemed more than happy to see me, even dressed as I was. Gwyneth was keen that we should cuddle on the floor (not me and her, me and Teddy) so she could get another photograph. He was so cosy and soft it was like falling into warm butter and, as I squeezed him tightly, his furry arms appeared to embrace me at the same time. There is something very satisfying about a soft, yielding bear that welcomes you into its arms and responds with soft fleecy tickles to your naked body. Everywhere his fur touched produced a wonderful sensation; little ripples of giggly pleasure and velvety reassurance added together with delicate caresses made me feel very safe... and very loved. There was one thing missing and I was surprised when Gwyneth suddenly produced the finishing touch. She slipped a huge blue pacifier between my lips, which I had no idea how she got or where it came from. At that moment I didn’t question anything as Gwyneth started organising and taking her snaps. It was no problem snuggling with Teddy and to tell you the truth I was thoroughly enjoying myself. This was the most intimate contact I’d had with anyone (or anything) since, well, since I was five and had my final cuddle with the original Teddy… and I appreciated this renewed relationship. * The room was warm and I was comfortable wearing only a made-up diaper. It fitted tightly so wasn’t falling down every few seconds and once Gwyneth had finished taking her photos, we settled down to finish our meal, well dessert actually. It was nothing special except a rather colourful ice-cream medley. We decided to have it sitting on the sofa whilst watching a late night movie. Teddy was just too big to sit with us so he sat at my bare feet, tickling them every time I brushed against him, which I did regularly, so I was smiling when my sister brought in the dessert in a bowl. She then did something we’d never done before; she fed me spoonsful of the stuff in between taking the odd mouthful for herself. It was a lovely tender and unexpected moment. At one point we were in fits of laughter because she’d offered some to Teddy only for him to turn it down. I think she sneakily nudged his head so it looked like he was refusing the creamy delight. “Well I suppose someone’s got to think of their figure,” she shrugged and we both sniggered like tots at that. The movie was boring and the wine had made me very tired so I excused myself and brought my 18th birthday celebrations to a close. Gwyneth gave me a ‘goodnight’ peck and I thanked her for a great fun night (I had actually enjoyed what we’d done together it was so unlike anything we’d ever done before) as she patted my diapered bum and jokingly said I wasn’t to wet, but if I was going to, then at least I was dressed accordingly. I laughed as I began to trundle to my room but she called me back and asked if I wasn’t forgetting somebody? Of course, Teddy. I picked him up, for such a huge animal he was incredibly light to carry, and we toddled off to bed. It felt strange having the thickness of the diaper between my legs but with Teddy by my side I wasn’t worried, I dreamily thought he’d protect me from whatever the darkness brought. He was my friend and oddly enough the diaper seemed to make everything feel as it should be. Maybe it was the memory of how comforting diapers had been after I lost Teddy the first time that made me not worry as to the way I was dressed. We climbed on top of the sheets together and it was so nice sinking into bed with someone else, even if that someone was Teddy. He was warm and welcoming and it wasn’t long before, clutched in his paws (and him mine) we were dead to the world. * I woke up from a particularly heavy night’s sleep. I was slightly woozy but I was still clutching hold of Teddy, I smiled and thanked him for keeping me safe. I lay there for a few minutes enjoying the sensation of Teddy against my skin when I became aware of the thickness between my legs. I pulled back the thin piece of sheet partially covering us both and saw the towel hanging loosely around my hips. I was quite impressed that I’d been able to sleep with such an unusual thing wrapped around me but apparently, it had made no difference to how I slept. Then I suddenly wondered if I’d wet myself. I didn’t feel wet but… I slipped my hand across the front and thankfully that all felt dry, then, furtively, I slipped it down the front and checked around my dick. “Dry”, I sighed with relief. I got up, went to the bathroom and had a nice long shower. I could hear Gwyneth pottering around downstairs and was really pleased with the way we’d celebrated my birthday. As the shower grew warmer I was thinking it was a birthday I’d never forget and beamed enthusiastically at the thought of what we’d done. It had been madly childish but I now had a new Teddy and although I was eighteen, I wasn’t going to let my parents or anyone else send him to the goodwill store. * Dressed in shorts and t-shirt I wandered downstairs. I had four days off until I was scheduled to go back into work so I was being comfortable and relaxed. The store uniform was a tight-fitting green polyester ensemble of trousers and a shirt; with my name and ‘CAN I HELP’ written across the left breast, it wasn’t the most comfortable thing to wear but no one could pretend I wasn’t staff. Anyway, it was something I was always happy to ditch the moment I got home and slip into my favourite casual clothing, which is what I now wore as I wondered into the kitchen. Gwyneth was making coffee, smiling and humming to herself. We exchanged the usual pleasantries but I detected a grin on her face, which meant she was up to something. “What are you smiling about,” I enquired. “Oh, nothing much except I did something last night I’m… er… surprised at the results.” She smiled but looked down as if she had a guilty secret. “Yes, it was pretty strange wasn’t it… oh… and that reminds me… I’ve put the diaper in the bin. It’s not wet. Well it is but I… er… just dried myself on it.” I said quickly defending myself against any thoughts to the contrary she might have. Her face brightened up. “No seriously. I didn’t pee my diaper, honest. I just used what was nearby when I climbed out of the shower.” I stammered. She could see I was getting slightly agitated over nothing but that smile was still there. “I believe you,” she tried to calm me and put her hand over mine. “Anyway, I’m talking about something else.” And she flipped open the laptop that lay in front of her. “See,” she pointed to a Facebook page that had an image of me as a one year-old and me as an eighteen year-old, side by side hugging teddies, with pacis in our mouth and wearing diapers. She’d put the damn image from last night online. I was mortified. Not only that but as a joke she had swapped the caption underneath so it read “Benjy at 18” under the image of me at one year-old and “Benjy at 1” under the other. “Take it down.” She was still smiling. “Please, Gwyneth, take it down before anyone sees it… I… I…” “Too late for that I’m afraid.” The smile never left her face as she pointed to the fact that there were 207 Likes and 44 Comments… all of which Gwyneth assured me were positive. I put my head in my hands and wondered what I should do. I’ve never been any good at getting angry and I don’t think I’ve ever lost my temper with Gwyneth so I was stumped for how I should really respond. All I could think about was the guys at work seeing it and them constantly referring to it. It was a good thing I had so few friends, I wasn’t on Facebook because of that, but she told me she’d set one up just for me. Also, she informed me that I was now ‘trending’, whatever that was, and the next time I looked the Facebook page had gone up to 297 Likes and 61 comments. * I sat quietly sipping my coffee but unable to eat anything at that moment. I had filled-up and I was desperately trying to hold back my emotions. I wondered what had possessed her to do such a thing but as she was sat typing away I thought perhaps it had helped her get past her writers block. She pressed the ‘enter’ key and sat back relieved as if she’d just completed an enormous task. “Have you unblocked yourself,” I asked rather ineptly (and weepily). She looked at me pondering what I meant, “Can you now write… have you got over not having a story or… whatever…?” She smiled and said that she now had an idea but that it would need my help to see where it led. She was trying to cheer me up and dig me out of my ‘emotional’ state with a bit of enthusiasm. She speculated that it might be a terrific change of style for her but needed my involvement and hoped I’d be up for it. I was still nursing my bruised and emotional ego; I didn’t really want 297… no it was now 314… people to think of me as a baby but I suppose it did no real harm. After all, I had so few friends to worry over and in fact, my parents and my sister were the only people I really had anything to do with. I liked the guys at work but… well… it was work; it wasn’t like we socialised much. Even school mates were few and far between, I only saw them when they were back from college or university or where ever. “I’ve just uploaded a few more images of you from last night to the page…” she spun the screen for me to see, “and already people are clicking the ‘Like’ button.” * Although I was frustrated with her attitude my sister had furnished me with something else for my birthday, something I would never even have thought about, my own Facebook page. As I watched the screen I was amazed to see the number of Likes and Comments that kept appearing. She smiled at my stunned expression and suggested that I should read some of them. I had no idea how to go about it but she pointed out how many Likes each image was receiving and clicked on a box that let me see the comments. Most were very positive: “Oooo look at the lickle babe”, “What a sweet innocent picture”, “Lovely idea”, “What a nice boy” and similar things. However, there were one or two more intense messages. Gwyneth tapped the screen. “I think maybe later we should take a look at these suggestions and see where they lead.” I shook my head and told her I didn’t think so but she begged me to reconsider as she thought it would make an interesting part to a new novel she was just beginning to envisage. This, she promised, would get her back on track as she could already feel her creative juices flowing. I still doubted the wisdom of getting involved but she told me that I would be credited at the front of the book for my ‘inspiration’. OK, she got me. How could I refuse my sister and such an opportunity to be recognised as someone who had given a successful author ‘inspiration’? * As I sat at her laptop reading the various messages she told me, as she slipped on her coat, collected her car keys and headed for the door, not to reply to any comment just yet. I just shrugged but I have to admit that my curiosity was aroused by just how many people, now standing at over 400 Likes and 83 Comments, felt the need to acknowledge my photographs. I know I was looking like a happy teenager playing with a huge teddy bear and wearing just a diaper but I couldn’t get over why that should create such attention. “Where you going?” I eventually managed to break away from the screen. “Just to get a few things from the store, I shouldn’t be long.” She smiled. “There’s plenty of juice in the fridge if you’d rather have that than coffee… and there are some English muffin’s if you want something to eat.” “OK, see you soon.” I did prefer juice and poured myself a lovely long cool glass of OJ before putting the muffins in the toaster. I grabbed the butter and strawberry jelly and sat at the laptop waiting for the toaster to do its job, the screen had gone blank and wasn’t sure whether I should touch it to try and get my pages back. I was curious to see how things had developed since I’d last looked. I waited until I’d finished my breakfast before I examined the screen again and hoped that by touching one of the keys I didn’t erase all of Gwyneth’s work. * A list of recently visited sites appeared and I was distracted to see that the latest one was YouTube. This was perhaps one of my favourite sites because of all the cute animal clips that seemed to occupy most of its content. I decided I’d like to see some playful kittens to cheer myself up and pressed on the key. It went straight to a clip of a big baby rolling around the floor with a huge teddy. Oh no, it was me. The clip started on my diaper pins and slowly pulled out to reveal, well, everything. To begin with my face was hidden by the big paci and it could have been anybody but as I played with Teddy and moved around the floor hugging and kissing him I became more and more identifiable. My mouth went dry, it was if I’d never even drunk that OJ, and I stared at the screen mesmerised by my actions. There was absolutely no doubt I was having fun, diaper or not, and from the occasional looks to the camera you could tell I was in my element. As I watched my body went clammy and I could feel those emotions of mine rising to the surface. As I happily played my diapered bottom appeared to be the main focus of attention – just what the hell was Gwyneth thinking? There were three different clips; two of me playing with Teddy and one of me sleeping with Teddy, which I didn’t even know she’d recorded. In fact, I didn’t know she’d recorded anything I thought she was just taking photos with her phone. There I was, happily snuggling Teddy with my arms wrapped around him, paci hanging slightly out of my mouth fast asleep and my white padded bottom looking quite prominent against the dark blue of my sheets. I wondered why so many people had commented and noticed that the clips had, even after just such a short space of time, received more than 3200 hits. There was a link to the Facebook page but now I was dreading reading the comments as I was sure they would be calling me a perv… or worse. I filled up with tears and cried because I didn’t know what I could do, I thought such notoriety would make me a laughing stock in town, perhaps lose my job and I’d never be able to look people in the eye again. * My bottom lip was still trembling when Gwyneth arrived back home. I hadn’t moved from staring at the screen because I was simply mesmerised by the images. She could see I was disturbed and dropped the bundle of packages she was carrying and came over to comfort me. The sobbing became a full blown wail as I buried my head in her bosom and kept on asking her “Why?” I assumed she hadn’t done it to hurt me but I couldn’t figure out why she would do such a thing. After a few minutes I calmed down and I looked at my sister through tear-stained eyes. She hugged me again and asked why I was crying. I was speechless that she could ask such a question so just pointed to the screen. “Yes, it’s you…” she asked with concern, “but why are you crying?” “What… what… what will…” I sniffed, “what will people think?” She just shook her head slightly. “They’ll think that there’s something wrong with me… they’ll think I’m…” I couldn’t finish my thoughts as I was overcome once again with a huge sob that gripped my throat and left me shaking my head in disbelief. “Tell me,” Gwyneth was now all very serious, “aren’t those really tears of happiness?” I looked at her in disbelief. “You’re eighteen. Eighteen,” she emphasised, “and” she pointed at the screen, “that’s the first time I’ve seen you truly happy in many-a-year.” There was no doubt about it those images were of me genuinely happy. When I was playing with Teddy I simply didn’t have another thought in my head apart from having a fun time with him. But I wondered, what might others think of an eighteen year-old running around in a towel… that’s a diaper? Gwyneth hugged me once more. “You, my sweet little Benjy, needed something. I wasn’t sure what to begin with but, and I’m sorry to say this to my little brother but, you needed a kick up the arse for you to start living.” I was stunned at what she was saying. “You are eighteen and just coasting through life. You have a miserable job…” I interrupted her and said that at least I had a job. “Yes you do, and I’m sure it’s fine in many ways but… I’ve never seen you actually happy for so long now. You seem to have few, if any, friends and mom and dad are no real help to encourage you…” The enormity of what she was saying suddenly gripped me and I felt that huge sob I’d been holding back in the pit of my stomach come out with force. I hung onto Gwyneth as I wailed and wailed, not this time because I was worried about what others might think but because she was correct. ***** Part 3 Later, when I’d calmed down, Gwyneth told me her thinking. She said that from the moment I saw the photo of me with Teddy as a baby there was an immediate change of expression on my face; wistful, thoughtful, with a touch of longing. She wasn’t sure but thought Teddy made me happy. I began to think back - certainly that time in my life, when I wasn’t regarded as anything but a toddler, when I didn’t have to prove myself and just enjoy my childhood… I was like everyone else my age… a little kid revelling in what was around him... I was happy. She went into a great deal of detail about how I tried so hard to live up to my parent’s expectations; they were of the opinion that kids should grow up quick and had little time for games and play – ‘read and learn’ was their philosophy. Unfortunately, those were the very things Gwyneth was most happy doing but I just couldn’t get to grips with. Reading and numbers just weren’t for me and I wrestled with school work, which I found very difficult no matter how I tried. My sister went on about how, even so young, I let failure weigh heavy on my shoulder, although it wasn’t always obvious because I tried to be positive and strived to be upbeat. Once our parents realised I wasn’t going to be a boy genius (they were most disappointed in my report cards) they more or less lost interest. They gave themselves over to their work and concentrated on their careers rather than what I did. Of course Gwyneth was way ahead in her development and they saw no problems there. Often I tried to read but once I’d open a book, if I got past the first two pages, well, my concentration level jumped to wanting to watch TV or go and play outside. Sometimes I’d curl up with Gwyneth and she’d read to me whatever it was she was interested in. I may not have understood everything but I think, without her, I’d know very little. When I thought about it, she did the job my parents should have done. It wasn’t that they ignored me, more that they tolerated me. I was their son after all… I zoned back in to what Gwyneth was saying. “You may not have been the cleverest in school but everyone liked you.” She looked at me very concerned and stroked my arm. She went on to tell me that even now I accept limitations but said I shouldn’t. She thought it sad that I didn’t have a girlfriend… or a boyfriend, she nudged me and smiled, but thought I needed to do something to break away from my ‘boring’ rut of a life… and do something to regain my happiness. “The recreation of the photograph last night suddenly brought things into focus for me,” she was on a roll now. “You seemed to become a different person, a happy person, a person who, left to their own devices… and given the right stimulus…” “You mean you thought I enjoyed being a baby?” I asked incredulously. She pointed to the screen. “Yes, just look at yourself. Even when you’re asleep you look happy.” A shiver ran through my body because I knew she was making some kind of sense and I had really loved last night. “But the diaper… what will people think?” “Well,” she pondered. “You may not like it but… I think that helped release something in you - something that has been holding you back. Last night we giggled like kids and there was no one around but us two to say anything or have an opinion about what we did. No parents, no workmates, no one to hold you back, so why should you let others inhibit you? Stop thinking about what others may think… they don’t matter.” Then she ran her hand through my hair and kissed my forehead, “And yes… even for an eighteen year-old, running around in a diaper… you looked pretty damn cute.” “But why put it all online, couldn’t you just have said something?” I complained. “It was just a spur of the moment decision. I wanted to let you see that the majority of people quite like to see someone enjoying themselves. People like all kinds of things to hide what they do and what they are, but you brother, were open and happy when you weren’t worrying about anyone else and I think others respond to that.” She pointed to the screen, “I think you respond to that.” * There were more opinions from my sister and, as she’s a lot brighter than me, eventually convinced me that this was a turning point in my life. She added that the comments online were almost all positive, occasionally cheeky but always interested, supportive and in some ways quite affectionate. Of course there’s going to be one or two people who hate the idea of others finding a way of having fun “Just so they can shit on you” (yep she actually said shit) but, and this is where her recent shopping trip had come in, she wanted to try and let me take that idea of happiness a little further. She’d bought a whole load of adult disposables and wanted me to spend the next few days wearing nothing but them. She persuaded me that I needed to get back to when I was at my happiest. To relive those times hoping to give me a window into what I needed to do to make me content in the future. I baulked at her suggestion but my sister has a way of getting me to go along with her plans so, guess what? She took me upstairs, stripped me out of my shorts and t-shirt and slipped me into a tight-fitting disposable. She took great pains to make the event something special; opening the package, unfurling the diaper, enjoying the crinkling sound as she spread it under my bottom. The wet-wipes and powder she used to clean me up (not that I was dirty or anything it was all part of a process), the silliness as I started to get a stiffy from her ministrations, which she quickly took care of by pulling the disposable tightly up between my legs and taping me snugly in. From her bag she produced a pair of plastic pants and had me climb into them after which led me to Teddy, who, during the proceedings she had found time to dress the same. How she knew I’d go along with her suggestion I do not know but, oddly enough, I was delighted to see Teddy dressed like me and it did make things easier. We spent the rest of the day playing games; me, my sister and Teddy. * Now you may think - well that was easy - getting me into diapers but I’ve spared you the long discussion we had to go through to get to that stage. She showed me loads of comments that had been posted by those who’d watched the clip or seen the images. As I’ve said, most seemed straight forward and nice but others were actually welcoming me to my ‘little’ side. I had no idea what they were referring to but Gwyneth seemed to understand and, more importantly, felt it was something I should get to know. Ever the author, she’d spent some time researching what it all meant and thought it applied to me, even if I wasn’t aware of it. She then showed me clip after clip of other grown-ups wearing diapers and having fun. People from all over the world and all ages, I was astonished there were others at all. A couple of cute boys in Japan appeared to have a site about their daily diapered exploits, one nice young man sang a song at his piano dressed in a thick diaper. There were so many – an old guy eating whilst in a high-chair, others drinking from baby-bottles and sippy cups or charging around whilst wearing nothing but diapers and a cape pretending to be a super hero. Meanwhile, as some played with toys several exhibited what they had just crayoned or painted. It was quite overwhelming and gave the impression that diapered and padded plastic covered bottoms were everywhere. It was a whole new world to me and one I had no idea existed but, as Gwyneth pointed out, they were all enjoying themselves and not worrying what anyone else thought. She convinced me to give it a go and promised that if I wasn’t getting any pleasure from the new ‘situation’ then we’d forget all about it. It was late evening when I was eventually diapered and, thanks to Gwyneth, I didn’t feel guilty whilst running around dressed as I was and cheerfully including Teddy in all my escapades. Suddenly my mind was open to fun - childish fun - fun that I hadn’t experienced, well, since I was a toddler. The truth was I was in my element. Weirdly, the wearing of a diaper and plastic pants (Gwyneth said it was my freedom uniform!) had no restricting effect on the way I behaved. In fact, she was correct, it felt wonderful to wear; snug, comfortable and the constant rustling as I moved around acted like some kind of soothing sound I found reassuring. Though it may have appeared very juvenile to anyone looking on I’d never felt happier, freer, or more content. The diapers, the plastic pants, the pacifier, indeed the entire ensemble gave me a feeling of complete reassurance. Teddy provided someone I could direct it all to, while Gwyneth was my guide and safeguard. * In the morning I woke up with Teddy and off course I’d spent the night wearing just my padded protection (another term Gwyneth used although I wasn’t sure from what it was I was being protected). My sister was standing over me and gently shaking my shoulder to rouse me from my deep and untroubled sleep and then, without asking, she felt down the front of my diaper. “What are you doing?” I queried as I quickly clasped her hand over my bulky protection stopping her searching fingers from reaching any further. “Just checking.” “Just checking what?” “Just seeing if you wet yourself in the night…” “What?” I asked incredulously. “Why would I wet myself?” “You might have… I was just checking so that you don’t have to be embarrassed if you had and…” “Stop, stop.” I waved my finger at her. “I’m old enough to get up and go to the bathroom, why on earth would I wet myself?” She smiled. “You don’t have to get all defensive. All I’m saying is… if you had wet yourself it’s OK I will…” “That’s not OK at all,” I argued. “I’m not going to pee… or poop in a diaper… YUK!” “Fair enough. All I’m saying is, should you do so then you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. I’ll change and clean you up.” I was getting slightly annoyed. Even though I enjoyed being in my diaper I didn’t actually think about using it as a toilet. However, soon after she left the room for me to get up she returned with a new disposable and some other bits and bobs and told me I needed a change anyway. As I’d sort of agreed to wearing nothing but a diaper for the next couple of days she just shrugged off my half-hearted protests and unfurled the crinkly package. * As I lay there I was wondering - Why is she behaving in this way? We’d agreed that it was something I might like to try but wetting and stuff… in a diaper… I wasn’t keen on that at all, and then it hit me. She’d recently lost her own chance of a baby, perhaps the miscarriage was affecting her and I was now some kind of surrogate, someone she was projecting her unresolved feelings on? In that moment of comprehension my emotions welled up inside me again and I hugged my sister. After all she’d been through, still acting strong and in charge yet perhaps she needed her own way of coping with things. I was choked at the thought that if I could help, then I was there for her no matter what it took. Without making a fuss I let her strip off my night time stuff, clean me up (just as she said she would) but this time, when she had me lay out on the newly unfurled diaper, she added some extra pads before taping me tightly into place. This was a whole new experience and with the plastic pants now firmly holding it securely she led me down to breakfast. At this point I have to admit to being more than a little confused. I wasn’t sure whether I was doing this for her or for me but the bulky, rustling diaper arrangement meant I now had a wild noisy waddle as I negotiated the stairs but even that was funny and we joked about it. She’d cut up my pancakes and, although she’d put juice in a sippy cup, I stopped short at her suggestion of feeding me. However, I had noticed that my meal now came in a plastic bowl with cartoon animals smiling sweetly up at me and a spoon that echoed the same cheerful motif. She appeared to have gone to a lot of trouble to make me feel happy about being ‘little’ and I reluctantly began to appreciate all her efforts. * I was happy to wander around the house dressed as I was but when she suggested we go out for the day and enjoy the sunshine in the park or a walk up in the hills I was a little less sure. She told me to just pull a pair of shorts over my diaper and slip on a shirt and I’d be fine. I wasn’t sure about this at all as I was under no illusion that people would be able to tell what I was really wearing under my shorts. Her opinion was simple “Screw them” no one else mattered but me and, she whispered conspiratorially in my ear. “Don’t you think it would be quite exciting, Little Benjy doing what he wants for a change?” Once again, somehow, what she wanted I agreed to and before too long I’d tried on several pairs of shorts and jeans to try and hide the bulkiness, none of which fitted properly. I was beginning to see the downside to wearing padding and such thick padding at that. I was about to tell Gwyneth that I couldn’t find anything but in the end one pair of baggy shorts (I didn’t much like because they were too slack) managed to do the job and surprise, surprise, they were no longer loose. It was a wonderful hot day and I was more than pleased to be out and about not really paying much attention to what I was wearing. Although I could feel the bulk of it all I thought that the shorts hid what was underneath pretty well. We walked up into the hills and hardly saw anyone, those that did pass by just nodded or said “Hello” and carried on their way. We found a lovely shady spot where Gwyneth decided we’d have our picnic. She’d brought sodas, sandwiches and fruit but I wondered what I’d brought in the little backpack she’d given me to carry. She told me all would be revealed eventually but for the time being we should eat and enjoy the wonderful, peaceful surroundings. * The mass between my legs had made me waddle as we walked. It felt peculiar but I was getting a feeling of pleasure knowing what I was wearing, the problem was the padding and plastic made me sweat and I could feel moisture pooling at my crotch. Once we’d sat down Gwyneth saw me trying to rearrange the diaper and suggested, as it was so hot, I take off my shorts and shirt to let some sun and air get to my diaper… as I looked like “…a sweating pig”. It was true I was soaked and it would be a bit of a relief so I furtively looked around and saw no one anywhere near so I did as she suggested. It felt great being outside in the fresh air in just a diaper. Gwyneth thought I looked particularly cute and encouraged me run around and to chase butterflies as she got the picnic ready. I was aware that she was also taking photos with her phone and to be honest I was acting the big kid just for the camera. However, I didn’t know just how much I was enjoying myself until a little while later I noticed a couple talking with Gwyneth. I froze as I heard these two old people, both with walking sticks, making small talk about the weather and the beautiful countryside. They were looking across at me, waving and I heard them say that they liked to see a boy enjoying himself. So engrossed in my game of ‘chase the bugs’ I hadn’t seen the couple arrive but their sudden appearance startled me and made me do something I never thought I’d do - I felt a nervous spurt of pee escape. It was if my bladder was shocked by this unexpected visitation and reacted accordingly. I stood there stunned as they continued to chat and wave a greeting. Unfortunately, I was too embarrassed to respond even if no one else appeared to be. It was too late to hide so I just stood there, like a statue, about twenty feet away completely immobile and wishing I was somewhere else. Gwyneth called me over as the food was ready and inferred I should come and say ‘Hello’ but I was just too self-conscious. Eventually, the couple stopped talking to Gwyneth and carried on their way. As they passed by they smiled and said what a lovely day it was before disappearing down the hill. However, as they spoke, and without warning, my little spurt turned into a flow and no matter what my brain was saying to try and stop it, pee filled the diaper to complete my humiliation. The couple had obviously seen what I was wearing but there was no mention of diapers or shiny plastic pants, even though they were now an even bulkier part of my outfit having absorbed a great deal of liquid. * I waddled over to Gwyneth who looked at me strangely before I think she realized what I’d done. With a knowing but sympathetic expression she asked. “Do you need a change?” I wasn’t sure whether to admit it but there seemed little point in denying what had happened so I nodded. She lifted her hand examining the front of my diaper and said it wasn’t so bad and that it could wait for a while and we should eat first. Despite my embarrassment I was starving so plonked myself down on the blanket and set about the ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches (covered in mayo) with relish. ***** Part 4 Wearing a wet diaper wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be and after a while, and despite the bulk, I’d forgotten that I’d wet them. After we’d eaten we had a game of ‘ISpy’ and a rather interesting competition of cloud watching; it really is incredible the shapes you can interpret into actual things. We were coming up with some silly and clearly outrageous suggestions and this had us giggling quite a lot. However, after a couple of hours, and several cans of soda, I was desperate for another pee. Gwyneth looked at me when I said I needed to go because I was searching for a private spot to do my duty. She just reminded me that I’d already used my diaper once so it would be silly not to do so again. I thought I couldn’t do it deliberately but Gwyneth pounced, rolled on top of me and began to tickle. Whether I wanted to or not that got the old pee flowing, and it is to the credit of the diaper’s absorption powers that nothing trickled out. * We lay in the sun enjoying the final few rays before we returned home. I wondered if I’d have to squish all the way but my ever prepared sister opened the little backpack I’d carried, emptied it out and there were spare disposables, plastic pants, creams, lotions and of course a supply of wipes and baby powder. I had no idea that was what I was carrying but, as she pulled at the tapes off my swollen diaper I was rather pleased she’d planned ahead. It was a relief when she removed the soggy thing. It had expanded to quite a size and again I was amazed that I’d been wearing that grossly expanded object between my legs and, perhaps more to the point, it hadn’t concerned me in the least. As she wiped me clean but before she applied the creams and powder a light breeze blew against my naked genitals and sent tiny ripples of bliss through my body. My penis reacted and grew under her deft handiwork but she just smiled, pulled the diaper between my well-powdered groin and quickly taped it into place; flattening its stiffness against my body and blocking any further thoughts I might have had regarding that particular bit of my anatomy. This time the plastic pants I stepped into were blue and I was dressed like that for a few minutes as we packed everything else away. Gwyneth took more photographs and kept on reminding me how wonderful and sweet she thought I looked. In fact, at every opportunity she kept complementing the way I looked and patting my padded bottom, which made me chuckle, I liked the attention. The day had been nothing like any other I could remember. I couldn’t remember ever doing this with mom or dad, days out were just something other kids got to experience with their parents. This was great and even in diapers, it had been a fantastic day… in fact I was appreciating even more the incredible efforts my sister had gone to for me to feel special on my eighteenth. * Back home we sat and watched TV for a while (her in her summer dress and me wearing nothing but a diaper and plastic pants), before she recommended I had a bath before bed - to make sure, she jokingly said, that there was no residue pee left secreted in any ‘crevices’. Normally, I have a shower in the morning and that’s it but her reasonable suggestion made me think it probably wasn’t a bad idea so off I went. I shucked off my diaper, which wasn’t wet, and happily climbed into the suds. The water was very hot but I could just about stand it; my sister’s lavender bubble bath I’d ladled in helped me to fully relax as I let myself soak for quite some time. It had been one hell of a day and as I washed my hair and gently scrubbed those all-important places I began to feel ‘playful’ again. Wearing a diaper had a major drawback for a horny eighteen year-old, it restricted (if not completely prevented) any cock and ball play. A toddler may not think that way but, now I was out of those confining things, I intended on having a different kind of fun. However, just as I was enjoying the gentle caress of my own soapy hand, Gwyneth walked in with a towel. I was slightly embarrassed at being caught in mid-stroke but she just smiled and told me that I’d wrinkle up if I didn’t get out of the bath. I was hoping she’d go so I could continue with my efforts but she just stood there, towel outstretched, waiting for me to rise from the foam. Reluctantly I climbed out and Gwyneth proceeded to give me the most thorough drying I think I’ve ever received; every bit of my body was methodically rubbed. Unfortunately, she ignored the very part of me that would have benefitted from such an enthusiastic massage and I was left more than a little frustrated. * She guided me to my room and of course her supplies were all laid out ready for me to be diapered for the night. I really thought that it would be back to my usual boxers and t-shirt to sleep in but obviously Gwyneth had other ideas. I was about to complain, or try and reason with her at least, but she’d gone to such extraordinary lengths so far to make me happy I wondered if this was perhaps another thing I thought I didn’t want but actually did. Anyway, the upshot was that she carefully applied lotions and creams, lashings of powder and an ultra-thick fabric diaper, which was held in place with two huge pink pins. Once again she slipped up a pair of clear plastic pants that snugly held it all together and, just as I thought she’d finished and was about to crawl into bed, she produced something else, a pair of footed pjs. I wasn’t expecting this and wondered how the hell she’d been able to get hold of something my size so quickly. The pjs were blue with cartoon stars and planets all over them and, as she fed my feet into them, I marvelled at how soft the fabric was as it touched and caressed my skin. Soon my arms were encased and she stood me up for the final action. The zip was at the back and stretched from hips to neck, which she closed with a flourish. Then we stood together looking in the mirror and it was an amazing sight. For a brief second I was stunned at the reflection; I thought she looked like mom and I was back to being a toddler, I was even holding her hand and, as a shiver ran through my body, and despite my size, I really did feel like I was back to being a little kid. I was speechless as Gwyneth gently led me to my bed, pulled back the covers, where Teddy was lying still dressed in his own diaper, and urged me in. I was dazed at this strange ‘mirror revelation’, a glimpse of my past that really shook me and, because I was distracted thinking about it, wasn’t even aware that she had slipped a babies bottle full of warm milk between my lips. As she held it to my mouth, and with my mind elsewhere, I naturally began to suck and closed my eyes as I rhythmically downed the entire contents. Later she replaced the bottle with my paci and left me cuddling Teddy as I drifted off to sleep after what, one way and another, had been a pretty eventful day. * My dreams were of Teddy and me and Gwyneth and me, where Gwyneth was actually my mommy and Teddy was my father… weird. At one point mommy (Gwyneth) was telling me what a ‘good boy’ I was because I’d managed to use the potty correctly but daddy (Teddy) was threatening to spank me if I didn’t wear my diaper like he was (yes in my dreams Teddy/daddy was still wearing his diaper). In my dreams I was doing all I could to please them both and each one was telling me what a ‘clever baby’ I was being. I woke up desperate for a pee. I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom but once there found I couldn’t reach the zip on the rear of my footer. I tugged and tugged but for some reason I just couldn’t budge it, in the end I had no option but to fill my diaper. I argued with myself that was what the diaper was for, and Gwyneth had encouraged me to think of it in that way, “Just do it” had been her advice, so that’s what I did. To begin with it was a strange warm sensation, which I didn’t mind much, luckily the diaper and plastic pants held it all in and I was able to fall back to sleep relatively quickly. In the early hours I felt I needed to go again but this time I made no attempt to get to the bathroom so lay there and with little effort further filled my diaper. When I eventually did wake up the diaper was thick between my legs and my plastic pants where a shiny stretched reminder at just how much I’d drunk the night before. However, and this fact was a bit of an eye-opener, it didn’t worry me what I’d done. Just the day before the very thought had made me recoil in horror but here I was wearing a fully soaked diaper and not being bothered about it in the slightest. * I got up and sought out Gwyneth because I needed help getting out of the footer. She was already downstairs making breakfast and smiled as I shuffled into the kitchen. Another few photographs were taken as I asked her to let me out but she just told me to sit down and have the bacon and eggs she’d cooked before they got cold, and which had been cut into bite sized pieces. I waddled to the table (I was waddling everywhere at that time) sat down and it was a squelchy diaper that cushioned my bottom. Once again everything was served in the new little kiddie bowl and I was given only the matching spoon to use. My juice was served in a sippy cup and despite any doubts I may have had I was so famished I happily ate and drank the lot. Once my plate was clean and I’d taken it to be washed Gwyneth led me back upstairs to be changed. She tweaked the zipper and it easily came down but I informed her that I was very, very wet because I couldn’t get to the bathroom to go properly. She just smiled as I stepped out of my pjs making small talk about what the plans were for the day and as if changing an eighteen year-old was the most natural thing to do. I shucked down my plastic pants and the fabric beneath was saturated. She asked if I’d messed as well but I just made an “Uuuurrrghhh” type of noise to indicate no and she patted my swollen bottom and unpinned me. How she could be OK with all this changing business I didn’t know but I suppose, thinking about what I’d assumed earlier, she was substituting me for her lost baby… well maybe. I certainly didn’t want to be the one to spoil whatever fantasy or need she had at that moment because, well, I was still enjoying playing this game myself. * Gwyneth had been correct about there being a ‘little’ me somewhere inside and that the people online and who commented on YouTube had also noticed it so, I was feeling part of a pretty cute group. I liked the term ‘little’ and, as my sister had shown me, dressed in diapers had released me to be the fun person she suspected I was all along. With her encouragement being childish was nothing to be ashamed about and living an enjoyable life as a toddler certainly beat stacking shelves. However, work was on the horizon and I wanted to make the most of my time off before it was back to the grindstone. I’d even begun to think that perhaps I might be able to wear a diaper or something similar under my uniform but I was sure the outline would be obvious as the pants were so tight. I showered and Gwyneth once again got me ready for the day. She put a couple of pads in the disposable and pulled up the clear plastic pants. She pointed to a mark on the front and told me that, if I wet them, then the mark would change colour and she could check without me saying anything if I needed changing. Then she pulled out a new yellow t-shirt with tiny toy rocking horses all over them and slipped it over my head. Although I did a sort of double-take because it looked so childish she then produced a matching pair of shorts which she quickly fed my legs into and pulled up to my waist. Again that feeling of just being a little kid with mommy dressing me coursed through my body and I stood transfixed by my new outfit. Although I was eighteen I wasn’t a large teenager, in fact, Gwyneth was a good two inches taller than me and looked much bigger. However, I didn’t get chance to be pleased or complain because Gwyneth was guiding my crinkling butt down the stairs and out to the car. * I had no idea where we were going but Gwyneth was telling me about some of the online comments she had read. According to her, loads of them had said that it was best to make the ‘little one’ happy and comfortable in clothes that were soft, colourful and reminded them of when they were a toddler. Toys and colouring books were also an important aspect to all this so that’s where we were going now, to a mall that had a huge toy store. For every reason I put up not to go (especially dressed as I was) she had a comment that said the opposite. There was no doubt that the bulky diaper I was sitting on was a constant reminder of what I liked and perhaps surprisingly I found the hugging of my hips and groin very pleasing. However, although I quite liked it I thought my little yellow outfit was maybe going too far to be seen in public. Gwyneth said I shouldn’t worry, everything would be alright and was convinced no one would say a thing. I doubted that and remained silent for the rest of the journey. * In the silence I began to think. How come she had a footer my size? How come she had this outfit ready? How come she had a paci, bowl, diapers and plastic…? Just as my suspicions were growing I suddenly got a pain in my stomach. I groaned and Gwyneth asked me what was wrong. I tried to tell her about the pain but almost instantaneously my guts started to churn. I begged Gwyneth to pull over as I needed to go to the bathroom but she said there wasn’t one nearby. She said that I should just pee in the diaper but I moaned I thought it might be more than that. “OK, just hold on we’re not far away.” She said with concern etched on her face. Unfortunately, the turmoil in my stomach wasn’t open to any constraints from me and I couldn’t hold back. With a loud wet fart the contents of my bowel erupted into my diaper and I was crying in humiliation and disgust as wave after wave of poop exited my bottom. The smell in the car was awful and Gwyneth had to roll down the window to get us both some air. I sat in my own rapidly filling diaper stunned at what was happening. As soon as my guts exploded the pain had instantly gone but I was mortified by the strange and disgusting feeling in my pants… my emotions took over and there were more tears. A couple of minutes later and we arrived at the mall but I thought in my state I just couldn’t leave the car. However, she insisted that I couldn’t just sit in the mess and that I wasn’t to worry she’d have me cleaned up in no time. She grabbed my hand and led me crying and gingerly waddling towards Toys’r’Us, which was the first store in the mall nearest to where we parked. There were a few kids already looking at toys with their parents but Gwyneth led me straight to the baby changing area. It was empty when we went in and although I was crying and embarrassed I let her take charge. My little shorts were pulled off, which thankfully were still clean, she then tentatively shimmied the plastic pants down to reveal my bloated and discoloured disposable. Mercifully, the extra padding had absorbed most of the liquid but I was still a mess. She quickly stripped me out of it all and, with barely any acknowledgement to the smell, set about cleaning me up. I hadn’t noticed the large bag she was carrying but as she lay me out on one of the counters, she opened it up to reveal a host of stuff she’d need to fix me. First she used toilet paper and then going over to the sink soaped up a cloth she’d brought and began to wipe away the debris. I was still sniffling when someone else came in. A woman with a baby took one look at me, looked pityingly at Gwyneth and then set about changing her own child. My clean-up took quite some time and during that period I lay there motionless, self-conscious and desperate not to make eye contact with any of the other patrons using the facilities. * A lady with a boy aged about ten came in, found the empty table next to mine and stripped her son out of his shortalls by simply popping some studs at his crotch, laying him out and then popping the studs on his cute cartoon plastic pants, which instantly gave her easy access to his soaked diaper. Gwyneth watched how easily it all appeared and asked the lady where she had bought her boy’s shortalls. After a brief discussion about their usefulness and hardwearing properties (“Just the thing for an active boy”) she made a note of the name she’d been given, thanked her and resumed my re-diapering. The young boy and I were finished together. Gwyneth pulled up my yellow shorts as his mother finished pressing the last few poppers back together. He bashfully smiled at me as his mum picked him up, patted his freshly padded bottom and they set off to finish their shopping… and quite unexpectedly I cautiously waved back. The young boy’s attitude to being changed in public had stopped me blubbing as he seemed untroubled by the process. That sweet little smile had really got to me and I wished we could play together. I was no longer thinking of our age difference only what we had in common and we both wore diapers and had accidents in them. It was a revelation and suddenly I didn’t feel so self-conscious. * Once Gwyneth had packed all her stuff away, and before we left the bathroom, she asked if I was OK. Now I was clean, dry and wearing my thick ‘protection’ (now I knew what Gwyneth had meant by that term) I was comfortable and quite happy to continue. “Good,” she said as she patted my freshly padded bottom and we entered the main part of the store. The array of toys was spellbinding. Mom and dad had never been keen on my playing with such childish things and because Gwyneth, even as a youngster, preferred to read, I wasn’t encouraged or given many toys to play with. As we toured the aisles I was spoilt for choice, I just didn’t know what to get for the best. Over in the kids play area right next to the store I saw the young boy from earlier running around with some younger kids sliding into the ball pit, running on the rope bridge and playing on the JungleGym. He noticed me and waved again and it was the first time I noticed that his diaper was really quite obvious and thick. However, he seemed unconcerned as he smiled, whooped with pleasure and chased some other kids into another part of the ‘playzone’. * Sitting on the floor in front of a plastic toy garage was another guy, perhaps a few years older than me, seeing how the wind-up lift worked that took the toy cars to the top to let them zigzag down again. He was wearing denim shorts but because he was bent over there was no hiding the top of his diaper from showing above the waistband. As I walked past he looked up and smiled, whilst running one of the four vehicles scattered around him along the ground and making car noises. “That looks fun,” I said and he invited me to join him on the floor. He was a lot older than his clothes would have suggested; he had a huge cartoon character on the front of his sweatshirt and his socks also had the same image festooned all over them. His sneakers had lights in the heel which flashed as he walked and he spoke, well, like a toddler. He was both shy and enthusiastic to have someone to play with but then I saw an older man approach who asked him if he’d made a friend. Gwyneth and the man got talking as we played together and inspected all the secrets that the garage contained. I didn’t hear what they were saying because my new friend grabbed my hand and took me to another aisle to look at the latest huge toy castle that he said his ‘dada’ was going to buy him. His voice was soft, as if he didn’t want anyone to notice him, but he was enthusiastic as he explained all the fantastic things the castle contained and all the dragons, monsters and soldiers you could get to do battle. He seemed so excited but then his ‘dada’ called him and he went rushing off to hold his hand. Even though he was older than me he acted like a little kid; shyly holding his ‘dada’s’ hand and swinging a foot whilst he waited for him to stop chatting with Gwyneth. I have to admit, knowing he was wearing a diaper like me was heart-warming, he looked so sweet and just as at ease as the ten year-old boy had been. I sat where I was inspecting the massive plastic castle with all its turrets and towers and wondered if I should get one. He’d fired my imagination and I liked the idea of dragons and knights and fantastic mythical encounters. A few moments later Gwyneth called me but I hadn’t made up my mind. We spent a good couple of hours looking at everything but I really wished I could play in the kids Playzone with all the other children as it looked fun. However, I realised that it just wasn’t built for someone my size and I’d just have to watch. After the two encounters with other ‘older’ diaper wearers, now I was all clean and tidy myself I never gave what I was wearing much thought and it was only the knowing smile from an adult, or a gawping look from a toddler that occasionally made me hesitate. However, I had work to do and decisions to make and they didn’t come easily. In the end I settled on some cars, a large truck and loads of little figures and colouring books from the latest Pixar movie. ***** Tbc
  23. The adventures of Alex Who was Alex? Well Alex was what most people thought was a young man entering in the big wide world, free from school and the restraints that they had held over him. For many years he had been told what to do, when to do it and always by others. He had grown up under the strong influence of his mother, whom he loved dearly, but he could never bring himself to tell her his deep down secrets and desires. Alex had been late developing into the young man he was growing into, he was shorter than most, well everyone for his age, his voice had never broken and a genetic disorder had meant that he never grew body hair, only his head held the natural blonde locks that matched his mother. He had been slow to be potty trained, still wetting at night after control during the daytime had been achieved. He was just told by his mother that over time it would sort itself out, but his nigh time wetting would be taken care of by her. So for many years after, night after night, Alex's mother was there to make sure he went to sleep in a nappy and plastic pants, then as time moved on a disposable nappy. Alex's mother was a hard working lady, well respected in the business community, with many friends, but still loved her son more than anything else. She was 6ft tall and literally towered over her son; she made sure that she kept fit, using the gym in the house and the pool on her days off and at weekends. Having made a success of her business at a young age, she always made time for Alex, her mother helping to look after him while he was still a baby. By the time that he was ready for school, she was the one to take him and pick him up every day. This would seem odd to a lot of people as it carried on until he left school, some would have thought him a little mummy’s boy, had it not been for the fact that they lived in the countryside outside the main town and off the bus route. He had his friends in school and got on ok with them, more so with the girls if he where honest about it, but rarely did one ever visit his home, sleepovers being out of the question as he felt too conscious about the bedwetting. When he was younger, at nursery school, he had a few parties as wetting problems happened with a few at that age, so he didn't stand out from the others. So Alex was now free from the restraint of school and just about to turn 18 years old, his mother had asked him if he wanted a party, but he never really was the party person. Instead he asked if he could have a vacation somewhere quiet away from the world, but by the sea, where he could just chill out and relax away from everything. There he would have time to think about what his future held, decide what to go on to do regarding work or further education. But also he would have some time alone to let his little side out. This was Alex's big secret that he hoped no-one had found out about, or if they had, they had not said anything to him. Deep down, Alex was still that little boy, he had never really grown up and loved all the time he spent with his mother, he missed the time when she looked after him night after night. But over time he had become used to getting himself ready for bed, it was only natural that as he grew he would take more responsibility. He wanted so much for his mother to do this, but could never build up the courage to ask. So here he was going away on his own for the first time without "mummy", but it would give him chance to wear his nappy during the day if he wanted. He would have them with for night time use, so why not try them during the day as well; maybe he would get those feelings back from when he was younger that he craved so much. His mother was not overly surprised when he refused the offer of the party, so was more than happy for him to have his holiday that he asked for instead. Unknown to Alex, his mother had begun to realise that deep down she was missing having her "little boy" around. She loved looking after him when he was younger but as time went by, she knew she had to release the aprons strings a little and let him develop. His mothers had become a success in the computer industry with her own business, so giving Alex a computer for his school use fine, but she never let on to him that she could remotely access it. So from time to time she found herself checking up on what he had been researching, then purely by accident one day she found one of the sites he had been looking at, then the links to some of the stories he had been reading. She could see that he was reading about "little ones" who still had their mummy even when they were grown up, or little ones that had found and sought out a new mummy. As much as this hurt, she knew that to push and question him straight away would be a mistake, causing her to push him further away or worse still lose him. She decided that he could go on his vacation, let him think for a while but then let him decide what would happen next. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So the day arrived for Alex to board his coach and take the trip. He was filled with both excitement and anticipation; he was unsure what the next few weeks would hold for him but hoped that he would make some decisions that would set him for the future. He knew there was a job for him with his mums company, but at the same time if something else was out there then that would be better, unless he decided to return to college or university. His mum had made the travel arrangements, booked his coach ticket, decided on the little holiday town he would be staying, even found him a nice little guest house to stay in. Unknown to Alex, it was a old friend of his mums that ran it, a best friend from school and college that moved there a few years earlier to take over a family business. She now ran it by herself and was only too pleased to keep an eye on Alex for his mum. She had been told about his little night time accidents so made a few preparations in advance. "Alex" said Leslie his mum, "I need to tell you a few things about your trip before you leave, so come and sit down with me for a moment before I drop you off at the bus station". Leslie sat at the table with her son, reaching out and taking his hand. "Now you are going to the seaside as you wished, it’s not too busy there, just lively enough to keep you occupied. I have booked you into a nice little guest house that is run by an old friend of mine called Val from college. Now don't panic but I made her aware of your night time accidents, I didn't want you getting all wound up and embarrassed". Alex didn't know what to say when his mum told him, he was mad that she told someone else but could see that it actually made sense, even if it was going to be embarrassing when he met Val. "Val told me that she would take care of everything so you don't need to worry" said Leslie, "She will meet you at the bus station in the resort and take you home. She said she will let you settle in and then give you the tour around before letting you do whatever you want to relax". "So make sure you have a good time, be good for her and hopefully I will get to come and visit you later in the week. I have packed everything for you and sent plenty of money ahead to take care of anything you might need". What Leslie didn't mention was that she had added a few extra things into his suitcase, something that she hoped he would like after reading and looking at his favourite pages on Alex's computer history. She had bought him a new dummy with a teat suitable for adults, along with a cloth nappy and some plastic pants. She knew that it was a risk but just hoped that he would accept them and not be scared. If she could have her little boy back then it would make her the happiest mum in the world. "Thanks for all of this mum" replied Alex, "I know telling Val was for the better, even if it makes me feel awkward and embarrassed when I meet her. It will be nice if you can come visit later in the week, you deserve a break just as much as me". So with his things packed, Alex jumped in the car with his mum and headed to the coach station for his trip. After a big hug, cuddle and a kiss, Alex walked onto his coach and took his seat, waving goodbye as the coach pulled away, leaving Leslie with a tear in her eye, waiting for the moment she would be with her little boy again. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex relaxed as soon as the coach pulled away; he was on his way, looking forward to getting away for the summer and chilling out. He had become so wound up finishing school, learning never came natural to him like for some of his classmates, he had to really think hard about everything. He had gotten to the point where he was now feeling a bit mentally drained. He sat in his seat watching the world going by as the coach ploughed its way across the country, stopping at various cities along the way to collect other people. He hadn’t really travelled that much in his younger life, his mum always working hard but he would never blame her for this. He knew she wanted him to have the best they could. Finally it was getting close to lunchtime, that meant the coach would take a break and he could get off and take a break, stretch his legs and get a bite to eat. But more importantly get a chance to use the toilet. He had almost wished he was wearing one of his night time pull ups, the drinks his mum had given him for the journey, combined with the several mugs of tea at breakfast made him quite needy for the bathrooms. As soon as the coach stopped he was straight off and heading towards the bathroom area at the service area, the last thing he needed to see was the short queue of people in front of him. He figured that another coach must have gotten in just before they arrived; this was going to be an anxious and awkward wait. Finally he found himself at the front; he dashed into one of the stalls, unfastening his jogging pants as fast as possible, and then lowering his underwear but not before a little dribble came out. In one sense he was happier being in a stall, his mum’s choice of underwear for him was not the best. They could be described as unisex at best, no opening at the front and very plain. He had gotten used to her buying things like that for him over the years; he barely even noticed the pastel colours she would choose. He just used to make sure he wore the white ones whenever he was doing any sports in school. Finally he was sitting on the toilet, able to relieve himself from all those drinks he had consumed so far. He pulled his phone out of his bag to check if he had any messages, the only one being from his mum. It simply said “Love you baby, hope you have fun”. Seeing this from his mum made him feel all warm inside, she often called him baby, he never thought anything of it. He then checked his journey progress and found that they were just short of halfway to his destination. Bearing that in mind he wondered if they would be stopping once more or not, beginning to wonder whether he would be best in one of the pull ups in his bag. This would let him relax a bit; he had dribbled while going this time, so maybe it was for the best. He quickly removed his jogging pants, then “panties” before slipping on one of his pull ups, then pulled his panties back on, thinking they would help keep the pull up in place, before putting his jogging pants back on. Part 4 With himself finally sorted, Alex made his way out of the stall and into the main washroom, walking slightly slowly, now conscious of the pull up he had on. He knew that they were completely covered but still had that feeling that everyone could see it. He washed his hands and then made his way out, trying to tell whether of not his pants where rustling, but the noise in area due to the large numbers of people masked anything he could hear from his pants. He had a walk to the food area and bought himself a sandwich and a drink, before making his way to some of the seating area outside. It was such a nice day, the sun was shining and it was quite warm so why not eat outdoors for once. He found himself a spot on the grassed area but made sure to keep an eye on the time, the last thing he wanted was to miss his coach. But he could see it from where he was sitting so it would be ok. Alex loved to watch people, see them going about their business, but so many doing the same thing but not noticing. He quietly ate his lunch, sitting on the grass in his shorts, the air blowing around his legs. He forgot the fact he was wearing his pull up, his shorts flapping in the breeze; occasionally flapping so that the edge of it would show. He carried on assuming that no-one was any the wiser, not seeing what he was wearing. Sitting at a picnic table across from him was Wendy Johnson, a school nurse at a private girl’s boarding school. She too was on a holiday break, travelling by coach to a nice quiet resort by the sea, looking forward to some nice relaxing fun. She couldn’t help but notice the young man sitting alone on the grass across from her, he was different to the others, they where businessmen and lorry drivers. But she saw him, small for his age but quite content and happy. She wondered where he was going, what he was doing. Having spent the year with nothing but girls to look at in every direction, she was happy to look at the cute young man. Alex finished his lunch, looked down at his watch then saw it was time to go back to the coach, but as he was geeing up he noticed the lady at the picnic table, she was looking at him and smiling. Getting up he felt the pull up against him, but that only let panic set in, he was directly opposite her, had she seen something, was that why she was smiling. He didn’t know but was glad to be going back to his coach knowing he would be alone again. He got up, walked back across the grass, trying to avoid eye contact but couldn’t, she smiled again at him, he moved quicker wanting to be back at the coach. He got back to the coach and began to board when he noticed the other cases now sitting at the side of the coach. He looked towards the driver and asked what was happening, “Nothing to worry about young man” replied the driver, “we just have a few more passengers coming on board, the other feeder coach has arrived”. Alex thought nothing more of it, he climbed on board and went back to his seat, he put his hand luggage bag back onto the seat next to him, then leaned back waiting for the other passengers to get back. He was minding his own business, when a figure appeared by the seat next to his where his bag was. Looking up he saw a lady standing in the aisle, when he saw who it was he nearly wet himself. It was her, the lady from the bench; there she was, looking down at him, “Excuse me young man, is that seat taken” she asked him, still with that smile on her face. “Errrr, no” replied Alex with slight panic in his voice, “I will just move my bag for you”. Alex took his bag off of the seat and placed it by his feet, not noticing the top was slightly open, he was still surprised to see the lady. Part 5 Wendy took her seat next to Alex, the colour just starting to re-appear to his face after his shock. He sat there quietly wondering whether he should say something, but at that time he was simply lost for words, what could he say, what should he say, he didn’t know what she had seen if anything at all. Wendy sat there next to Alex, she loved the expression on his face when she turned up next to him, she was by no way a mean person, but she thought he was such a sweet little thing. Her whole year at the girl’s school had made her realise how much she had missed males, but there was something about this one that made her curious. She had seen the tell tale edge of his pull up when sitting on the grass, it was something easily recognisable to her, many of the girls in the school had need to see her as the nurse she was. “So young man, what is your name, how far are you travelling” said Wendy, deciding it was time to start talking with her companion. “Eeerrrr, my name is Alex” he stuttered out, “I am on the coach until it reaches the coast; I am going for a break there through the summer. Wendy was delighted to hear this; she too was travelling to the coat and knew they were headed for the same destination. “Well I am very pleased to meet you Alex, my name is Wendy Johnson” came the response, “I too am travelling down to the coast for a holiday. The girl’s school where I work as a nurse has broken up for the summer, so I decided I needed a holiday”. Alex was relaxing a bit now, but the thought of having her next to him for the rest of the journey was not that thrilling. He was taken back a bit when she told him what she did for a job; it just wasn’t expected at that point. The thought of having a nurse next to him made him think once more about the pull ups, he knew that a trained nurse would only have needed the slightest glance to recognise them. “It looks like we will be spending the journey together Alex” said Wendy, once more looking at him with that smile once more. “Now why don’t you give me that bag of yours, I can put it up on the luggage rack with mine, and then you will have far more room for the journey”. Alex was left with little choice and couldn’t reason his way around it, it would give him more room for his legs. So he reached down to grab his bag, but as it was lifted the zip sprung open and there in plain sight was his other spare pull up. He tried to quickly close his bag so it was out of sight, but he could see that Wendy had already spotted it. Wendy calmly took the bag from him, zipped it up and proceeded to place it in the luggage rack. Alex had sat back down in his seat, not knowing what to do or say at that point, it no longer mattered if she had seen it before, now she would know. “It’s ok Alex, there is no need to be ashamed” said Wendy softly as she sat back down, “lots of people have to wear pull ups and nappies, for lots of different reasons. I am a nurse so it is nothing new to me”. Alex was left stunned, he knew now that she had seen him for definite now, his pull up must have been showing while sitting on the grass area. Alex was brought back to his senses by the coach starting up and leaving the service area, a few more passengers had joined but not enough to fill the coach, yet she decided to next to me he thought. Part 6 Alex sat thinking for a moment, now taking the occasional glance at Wendy, studying her more closely. She appeared about a similar age to his mum, but noticeably taller than he was and very good looking at the same time. He thought only pretty school nurses appeared in naughty boy’s dreams. He decided that he should try and explain his situation more clearly, he didn’t want her thinking he wore the pull ups all of the time. “I don’t usually wear pull ups, it’s just that I am on a long journey and my mum gave me a lot to drink” said Alex quietly, hoping that no one could overhear him. “I occasionally need them at night, but with the traffic being as it is these days, I didn’t want to take a chance after the service stop”. Wendy turned and listened to him while he was speaking, thinking how sweet it was of him to try and explain everything. She knew quite well that he could have a genuine reason for using them, but it was just the fact that he looked so cute in them when she saw him. “There is no need to worry about it little one” replied Wendy, grinning and chuckling at Alex, “I knew there was some genuine reason for you wearing them, you just looked so cute and innocent sitting on the grass with the frilly edge of the pull up showing”. “I am only teasing Alex, I am sorry if I offended you, I hope you forgive me, I just want some nice company for the rest of the journey”. Alex was a bit taken back, but decided that Wendy seemed a nice person deep down, even if she was enjoying teasing him. Was it worth not getting along for the rest of the coach journey, it would only be a matter of hours and they wouldn’t see any more of each other. “It’s ok Wendy, I didn’t take offence” replied Alex, “But I never realised they had little frilly edges on them” he laughed, “I really hope my mum never bought me the girls ones”. Wendy began to laugh with Alex, her hand patting him on the leg, she so wanted to lift the edge of the shorts and touch his pull up, but she feared he would be scared off and that was the last thing she wanted. Deep down she had missed not being a mother to anyone herself, she went to university then trained as a nurse then got the job in the school, things such as relationships and settling down had passed her by. So over time she had begun to wonder whether she could find someone that she could give her special attention to, a man, a young man, but someone like Alex would be just perfect. Alex was feeling a bit better now they were laughing about it; he was relaxing, actually starting to like Wendy a bit. A nervous thrill went through his body when she touched his leg, it was something he had never had from a woman before, he had never come close to having a girlfriend. Still laughing and joking, Alex lifted the edge of his shorts to reveal the edge of the pull up, “there you go” he said, “see they are not frilly at all”. But when he looked he could see that they were a bit puffier than his regular ones. He wondered how this escaped his notice before, but he was in such a state and rush in the toilets so he didn’t get caught, it made sense he did notice. “Thanks mum” he thought to himself, “what other surprises have you got for me”. Wendy caught sight of it once more, thinking that it looked so much like some of the ones worn at the school where she worked. It was natural for her, but to see it on a boy was something different, offset against his soft white hairless flesh it looked so nice. “Ok, well maybe no frilly, but slightly girlish you must agree” said Wendy, now gently rubbing his leg. “You have such soft skin for a male Alex, I know lots who would adore to have legs like yours, it’s such a shame to keep them covered up”. Alex was now getting quite aroused at the touch from Wendy; never could he have imagined that events would unfold like this. He could feel the front of his pull up starting to tent, but to cover it with his hands would have given it away immediately, he could do nothing, and he was stuck. He had no way out but now he didn’t want one, her touch was driving him wild, his lack of girl experience was showing; he was far too excited to think straight now. Wendy could see the effect she was having on him, it was becoming more and more obvious, she wondered how far she could push him, was he really so shy with girls, he really was the perfect little creature. She leaned closer to him, then whispered in his ear, “You really love this don’t you, you need this, you are wearing your pull up because it excites you as well”, “I can see the effect it is having on you, relax and let nurse Wendy take care of you”. Alex was unable to resist, he needed so much to be able to release, to release at someone else’s touch and not his own, for it to be at the hands of a woman, at this moment for it to be Wendy. Part 7 Alex was having feeling that he had never experienced before, but they where ones that he was enjoying, he could feel himself growing within his shorts. Just the simple touch of Wendy’s hand on his leg was doing this to him, he knew that she had him under her control but he was quite helpless to do anything about it. He could feel the pressure building up within him, he would not be able to last must longer, but what was he to do, he wasn’t sure but shortly he would pass the point of no return and find out what she planned. Wendy was feeling so good with herself at this point, she had him all worked up at just the touch of her hand, she moved it higher until it found the edge of the pull up. She too was getting excited at the thought of what was to come, could she really do this, could she make him loose himself within the confines of his pull up. She gently stroked his pull up, her hand inside his shorts, but always making sure that no one around them would become suspicious of their actions. She continued to rub her hand on little Alex, slowly and softly, feeling the tension growing within him, she knew it would happen, and then with a sudden shudder it did! Alex tried to hold on but it was no use, his body shuddered softly and then he felt himself release in his pull up. He could feel the little creamies leaking from him, pooling around his pee pee and little parts, it felt warm but the sensation was so good. It was obviously not his first orgasm, but it was in this way, making him feel embarrassed and humiliated, but at the same time so aroused. “Oh you sweet little thing” whispered Wendy softly in his ear, “I never thought my touch would make that happen, but I am overjoyed that it did”. “I will give you a moment to compose yourself, and then I think we had best have a go at cleaning you up and changing you without anyone knowing”. She let Alex calm himself down, holding his hand softly, feeling the last little trembles running through him. Then she released him, stood up just to grab her bag from the luggage rack, before sitting down again. Her back pack was one from the school, she had a few supplies with her as a couple of the young ladies from her school had travelled to the coach station with her, and she always looked out for them. They then went their separate ways, the ladies back home and she on her travels, where she boarded her coach that eventually brought her to Alex. She opened the bag and retrieved a box of wipes, a largish towel and a fresh pull up. Alex was a bit surprised to see these items come from her bag, but when he saw the pull up he was unsure whether to be scared or excited. It was a pull up just like normal, but it was the colour and design that startled him, pale pink in colour with little butterfly patterns. “Well I did say that I would take care of everything” said Wendy looking down at Alex, “don’t worry about the colour; they do just the same job as yours do”, “I am sure they will look so cute on you, your girlish soft legs deserve some girlish pull ups”. Alex looked at her but knew he couldn’t say anything, people would suspect something if he caused a scene, so decided that to cooperate would be the best course. He lifted up slightly in his seat allowing Wendy to lower his shorts, before then sitting down and removing them completely. He was now left in a pull up, one that was full of his own creamy mess. Wendy tore the sides, finally lowering the front revealing the young man’s little cock. She was feeling all giddy seeing this, it was so small, and how could someone his age be so undeveloped, there was practically no hair around it. Alex felt so embarrassed at this point, he had been made to have an orgasm in his pull up, now sitting on a coach seat in it with the sides torn apart, his little parts exposed to her. His bigger problem was that he loved the embarrassment and more so the attention, he was experiencing feelings he couldn’t explain. She gently wiped him clean with the baby wipes, making sure she checked everywhere, then dried him off with the towel. She wanted to apply baby powder but that would have been too risky in this situation. Wendy removed the old pull up from under him, folding it up and tucking it away in her bag, then she opened the new one for him, placing the new pink girls pull up at his feet, guiding them through the leg holes. The final touch was to bring it up his legs and secure it over his bottom, before once more hiding it away in his shorts. PART 8 (apologies for getting a name mixed up, Alex’s mum is called Leslie, hope you are all enjoying) Alex was now entering completely new territory, nothing like this had ever happened before, he wasn’t really sure how he should be feeling. All that he was sure about was that the experience he had just had was quite amazing, something he wanted to happen again and again but not on the coach. He was disturbed from his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing, he wondered who it was while fumbling through his shorts pockets. He opened it up to find that it was his mum, she was checking up to see how he was getting along. He was pleased to hear her voice as he spoke quietly to her, he was missing her but excited by his new adventures. They chatted only briefly, she would speak longer once he was alone in his guest house with Val. As he closed the phone and said “Goodbye mum, love you”, Wendy looked across and saw the picture of his mum still showing on the screen. Wendy was left stunned, surely it could not be, but she was sure it was. It was Leslie from college, “Oh my god” she thought, Alex is her son, I have just done that with one of my best friends little boy. Wendy recognised the picture as they were both still friends and on Facebook, she decided to speak to Alex about it, better now that having him find out later. “Alex” she said tentatively, “I take it that you where taking to your mum on the phone, do you mind if I see the picture again, I couldn’t help notice it before”. “Yes it was mum” he replied, “I guess you can see the picture, why, what is wrong” he said opening it up to the contact page again, then showing her the picture. “Nothing is wrong sweetie” said Wendy, looking once more to be certain. “Oh my, I was right, it is her” said Wendy, “tell me is your mothers name Leslie, she went to St. Mary’s Girls College after she finished school”. “Yes her name is Leslie” replied Alex, “I think that is where she went to college, why do you ask, what is wrong”. “Nothing is wrong I promise” said Wendy trying to calm down Alex, placing her hand on his leg again. “I have to tell you that your mum and I are old friends from college, we are still in contact via facebook today, we still keep up with each others careers”. Alex looked shocked when he found out, he had just been made to orgasm in his pull up by one of his mums friends, what would she do and say if she found out, he didn’t know what to say. “There were three of us that used to be best friends in college” said Wendy, “your mum, me and a girl called Val. I think she moved to the coast somewhere”. When Alex heard this it all kind of made sense, he was pretty certain that the person he was going to stay with was the same Val that Wendy was now talking about. His mum told him that she was a friend and trusted her to look after Alex, he thought that it might be good to phone her and tell her who he was sitting next to. “Bare with me a moment please Wendy” said Alex as he pressed the button to call his mum “Hi mum” said Alex when his mum answered, “nothing to worry about, I am safe and ok, I just have someone sitting next to me that you might want to chat to”, Alex then gave the phone to Wendy. “Leslie, Leslie Jones, is that really you” said Wendy, “It’s me, Wendy, from facebook, it’s such a surprise to find myself sitting on a coach next to your son, he is such a cute little thing”. Alex sat and starred out of the window for a while, letting Wendy have a chat to his mum, only picking up on the odd thing, “yes he is fine”, “oh don’t worry about that”, “no little accidents”. The last little snippet made his eyes turn back toward Wendy, looking at her having a good idea what they are talking about. “Well it has been great talking and hopefully we can meet up soon” said Wendy to Alex’s mum, “I will take good care of him until we get to Val’s, bye for now”. Alex said a quick goodbye to his mum, her final words telling him that Wendy would look after him until he got to Val’s, she trusted her totally. Part 9 “Well young Alex” said Wendy, “it looks like we will be seeing a lot more of each other than we both thought”, “Your mum is going to speak with Val to see if she has availability for me as well, then we can have lots of fun over the summer”. Alex wasn’t quite sure whether this was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. Yes he liked Wendy and enjoyed what had happened between them, but he was hoping to get some time to himself to be able to rest, relax and chill out a bit. Before he had chance to say anything to Wendy, his phone was ringing with the picture of his mum showing on the front of it. “Hi mum” he said when answering, “what’s up, what do you want, I have only just finished talking to you”. “Nothing to worry about sweetie” replied his mum, “just pass on a message to Wendy for me” “Tell her that I have spoken to Val and everything is sorted, there is a room waiting for her and I will be joining you later once I get finished up here”. “Okay mum, no problem, take care and don’t overdo things” replied Alex, “I will let Wendy know”, “Bye for now, love you mum”. “Love you too sweetie, take care and be good for Wendy and Val” replied Leslie, thinking how sweet her little boy was; she wanted him back, her little baby boy. “That was my mum on the phone again” said Alex looking at Wendy, “she says that everything is sorted with Val, there is a room waiting for you to stay in and she will join us later”. Alex decided not to mention the part about being good for her and Val; he thought that it would give Wendy the illusion that Alex had to be with her all the time. He wanted his own time when he could get it, to be able to do what he wanted, when he wanted, in his regular underwear and not in pull ups, or worse still the pink pull ups given to him by Wendy. Wendy thought to herself that things could not be more perfect, should would be staying with an old friend; have Alex staying in the same house, then hopefully the three best friends being reunited where they could concentrate on Alex. Little did Alex know but it was no coincidence that Wendy had found him, Leslie had told her where his coach would be stopping. Leslie had arranged for Alex to be staying with Val, as she knew Val would be only too happy to help her with her need to get her little boy back. She had told Val about his bed wetting and told her of the little surprise she had put in his suitcase, just to make sure that Alex did not try and dispose of it. By the time she was joining them, she hoped that Alex would be in pull ups and nappies full time, not really knowing what was happening to him. Alex leaned back in his seat, watching the world going by; completely unaware of what was in store for him, looking forward to his well earned break. Without even realising it, his hand had slipped to his lap where he was slowly rubbing across his shorts, his fingers then moving the material so that he was able to touch his pull up; the soft pink pull up that Wendy had put him in. Wendy was watching him all this time, seeing him play with the edge of the pull up was getting her aroused, she saw him slipping further and further into the sweet little one that Leslie wanted him to become, but he was totally unaware of it. She put her hand on top of his, just as he was playing with the pull up; she hoped he wouldn’t be startled too much. He looked down, only then realising what he had been doing; he was now blushing; the redness filling his cheeks in embarrassment. Wendy slowly moved his hand and placed it on her leg, and then slowly moving it up and down, she wanted to push him further, make him want to be with her. She finally moved his hand to rest between her legs, wondering what sort of reaction this would bring, had he ever been with a woman before. She was rewarded with a noticeable bulge showing in his shorts, she began to wonder if she could get him to orgasm once more, but this time in his girls pull up. Part 10 Alex was now growing bright red with embarrassment, he was unable to control the reaction in his shorts, he wasn’t even touching them and neither was Wendy, but the feeling he had just touching Wendy was like electric flowing through him. He was unable to control his emotions and this was obvious for Wendy to see, she knew she was being unfair playing with the emotions of Alex, but needed to get some release for herself. With her hand still firmly on top of Alex’s, still resting between her legs, she needed to know something, she needed to question him. “Alex my little sweet” whispered Wendy into his ear, “Have you ever been with a woman before, have you ever touched one, it’s ok, you can be honest with me”. Alex was not surprised to hear this, considering the delicate situation he was in, but what could he say, how could he admit to her that even though he was 18, soon to be 19, he had never had a girlfriend, let alone been with a girl before. He had been kissed by girls, but only because he was such a sweet and caring boy when around them. He looked up towards Wendy, their eyes meeting, he wanted to say something but just couldn’t, and he just gently shook his head from side to side. Wendy had a feeling what his answer would be before even asking, but she just needed to know from him. She wanted him to have his moment at some point, but now would not be that time; instead she just removed both their hands from her legs. Holding him closely, she looked into his eyes, “Don’t worry about that little one, we will make sure that at some point you get to enjoy the experience”. “But for now, do you need to use your pull up, did little Alex have fun last time, but I am sure you would love to have some fun in your little pink pull up”. While Alex was thing whether or not he could go through with it again, the coach driver made an announcement. “We will be arriving in the next hour at the final stop, this will be the place for all passengers to leave the coach, I hope you have had a good journey with us today”. Wendy saw this as an opportunity to help Alex once again, “There you go sweetie” she said to him, “soon we will be arriving, then we will be off to Val’s guest house for our lovely holiday. So if you want to have a little fun we can get you cleaned up at Val’s”. He hadn’t thought about Val for some time, he had never met her, but he had wondered if Wendy knew her as well. His mum told him that she was a friend of hers and she would look after him once he arrived, but that was before Wendy entered the equation. He knew his mum had made arrangements for her to stay as well. All he could think was that his holiday was certainly going to be different. Alex had come so far in just a few hours, he loved being made to cum in his pull up, but now he was in a girls pink pull up, this would feel so different, but he thought he needed to try, the feeling felt so good to him last time. He looked at Wendy, and then simply said “yes please”. Wendy felt so pleased, he loves the emotions set off within him, maybe this will be easier and more fun than Leslie thinks, and her little boy would be putty in her hands once finished. “Okay sweetie, let me help you achieve what you need, just lift up slightly, I think you will enjoy it better”. Alex didn’t even think about it, he lifted his body allowing Wendy to lower his shorts, leaving him sitting there in just a pink pull up. She put her arm around him, drawing him close to her, then placed her other hand on top of his pull up. She then slowly started to rub the front of it for him, feeling him growing within. Without realising Alex’s hand was now playing with the edge of the pink material, rubbing it and flicking it between his fingers, all the time enjoying the touch of Wendy on his front. He was moaning softly, shivers running through him, unable to control his feelings, unable to stop himself from getting closer and closer to erupting once again. “Come on my sweet little Alex” whispered Wendy, “let yourself go, let your emotions out, empty yourself into that cute girly princess pull-up, let those feelings come out”. Alex could not hold out, he had no choice, but surprising himself he erupted into the pull up at the moment Wendy mentioned the words “cute girly princess pull-up”, it acted like a trigger, fluid flowing from him, the front of the pull-up getting slightly darker with the wet spot forming before him. Part 11 Wendy was feeling so happy and pleased with herself, she knew that the main goal was to help Leslie achieve her wishes, but she was going to make sure she had her fun along the way. Leslie had told her she could play with her little boy as she would have to wait until she joined them, but Leslie thought that it would be easier getting Alex to do whatever they wanted if he was getting some fulfilment himself. With her hand now resting on his pull up, Wendy looked at him, “Aww, Alex sweetheart, you are such a good boy, I bet that feels all nice doesn’t it”, “But we need to get your shorts back on, we will be arriving shortly and Val will be there to meet us”. Alex was so much out of it with his own personal enjoyment; this brought him back to his senses. He quickly pulled up his shorts, wanting to be covered up ready for when they stopped in the bus station, he knew people would be moving around so didn’t want to arouse suspicion. Wendy could see him trying to make sure he was all covered up again, she thought it so sweet and innocent, but by the time they had finished with him there would be none of it. He would not care who saw him and where he was, he would be that little boy for his mum and her friends. Within minutes the coach was pulling into the bus station, people were up and about, rushing around the coach trying to get their things together. Wendy made sure that Alex stayed still in his seat, letting everyone else start to leave until she was ready to leave. Eventually they got up out of their seats, Wendy passed down Alex his back pack from the luggage rack, then brought hers down, and then after checking they had everything, they walked down the front of the coach and then got off. Alex was now for the first time for as long as he could remember wearing a pull up in public, but not only that, he was wearing a girls pink pull up, one that was all damp inside because of his own excitement. He followed Wendy away from the coach, heading towards an area where some people had gathered to greet friends that had travelled. Alex did not know Val by sight, it had been quite some years since Wendy had seen her friend, but when things had settled, there was only one lady left standing there. Wendy went over towards her, “Val is that you, it has been such a long time but you’re still so tall and elegant”. “Hi Wendy” replied Val, “it has been so long but Leslie sent me a few pics from your Facebook so I would recognise you”. They had a warm embrace before Val turned her attention to Alex, looking him up and down, “Well hello sweetie, you must be my little guest for the next few weeks, it’s so good to finally meet you, and your mum has told me so much about you”. Alex went to shake her hand, but Val just put her arms around him, pulled him close and hugged him tightly. He could feel her arms around him and her hands then giving his bottom a little squeeze, if only to confirm her knowledge of him. When they stepped apart, Wendy and Val started loading the luggage in her 4x4, giving Alex chance to clearly look her over. She was taller than both Wendy and his mum, maybe a bit older as well, long flowing dark hair, slim body with large breasts that pressed against her tight clothing. If it had been in any other situation he could even have found himself attracted to Val, she was older yes, but so pretty. This was going to be a lot harder for him now, Wendy had him wanting her, Val was just as pretty and she would be looking after his special requirements for night time. “Right then Alex” called out Val, “no day dreaming, get in the car, then I can get you and Wendy settled in, I am quite sure that you could do with a bath or shower”. Alex went over to the car where Val had the back door opened for him, Wendy already seated in the front. He was a bit surprised to see a 5 point harness attached to the seat, but with a few boxes on the other seat had no choice but to get in. “Oh I am sorry about this Alex” said Val, “I had my niece staying last week; her mum insisted that I had the harness fitted”, “It should fit you; she is quite big for her age whereas you are small for yours”. Before he could say anything, she was securing him in, including fastening the crotch strap up between his legs. Part 12 Alex was left speechless as he was fastened into the back of the car, a position that unknown to him he would become accustomed to in the not so distant future. He thought about protesting but knew that if he caused any trouble, his mum would find out. While everything was going on, there was still one thing in the back of his mind, his mum had made the arrangements and he could never bring himself to upset her in any way. He sat quietly in the back of the car listening to some music playing, whilst up front Wendy sat chatting with Val, he couldn’t make out what they were talking about, but occasionally thought he heard his name being mentioned. It was only a short ride before they pulled up outside a large house at the end of a road, just off the main seafront, but looking out over a beach that appeared quite secluded. Val and Wendy climbed out of the car, before Val came around to his door and opened it, he had tried himself but found the child lock in place on the door. He had to wait for Val to release his harness; it fastened in a way that made it impossible for him to reach the locking point. She went to release him but not before looking down at his shorts, unknown to him they had ridden up enough so that the edge of his pull up was now showing. “Come on sweetie” said Val releasing him from the seat, “let’s get you inside and settled down, I am sure that you could do with a bath and a change out of those”. The last part was said as she had her hand on his pull up, rubbing the edge of it. He went to the back of the car to collect his case, but not knowing what little surprises his mum had packed in there for him. His usual underwear had been replaced with much thicker terry cotton pants, ones that would be better described as a pair of training panties for toddlers. Then there was the usual pull up which he wore for sleeping in at night, but the special surprise was the cloth nappy and plastic pants she put in there, one just like those he had been viewing on-line. They made their way into the house, Alex was impressed with what he saw, very large hallway, very well furnished but all looking slightly feminine, but at the same time very homely. From his position in the large waiting area, he could see out over the sea, the beach looked very private but that was perfectly ok with him. Wendy had already gone up her room by the time Val had collected Alex’s room key, “Come along Alex, let’s go find your room, I am sure you will, it is right next to mine, so I can keep an eye on you like I promised your mum”. They made their way up the first flight of stairs, then along a corridor after going through a door marked private, “It’s ok Alex” said Val, “I just wanted to make sure that you get some nice peace and quiet, sometimes the guests can be a bit noisy”. Finally they reached a door marked with a little sign saying “ALEX”, which was a bit of a shock to him, he hadn’t realised how much trouble Val had gone through. The door was unlocked by Val and Alex was greeted by daylight once again. Before him stood a vast room, with a large double bed against one wall, directly opposite was a large TV mounted to the wall, then a dresser with plenty of drawers for his clothes. There was also a large dressing table with its own chair, but to his surprise in the corner a desk with a laptop computer on it. “That was a present from your mum for doing so well at school” said Val as she saw him looking at it, “through that door over there is your own private bathroom, the other door leads to my room but it is locked so don’t worry about that”, “The last door over there is the walk in wardrobe, but I think the dresser will be ok for your things”. “So let’s get you unpacked then you can have that nice warm bath that we both know you need”. Unaware of its contents, Alex lifted up his case onto the bed, but as it landed he thought he heard something rustling, Val came over to him, putting her arm around him, “That noise is only the protective mattress cover I put on the bed for you, your mum did tell you that she told me about your little problem and the last thing we want is for your bed to get wet. We can deal with a wet sheet or two but not a wet mattress”. He did remember what his mum had told him, so in all fairness it was to be expected, but it was just the shock of it, he just looked at Val and smiled. He started to open the case, then once open he undid the luggage straps inside it, removing the towel off the top. Directly underneath where his pull ups, all laying next to each other, which Val picked up and then walked over to the dresser with before laying them in one of the drawers, next to more pink ones which she already had prepared. He removed his t-shirts himself only to find the new underwear selection his mum had packed for him. At first he was unsure what they where, but having given the shirts to Val he quickly picked a pair up, only now understanding what they were. He had seen them on some of the sites he looked at but never imagined he would have some himself, especially not so many. Val came back over to him, looking at what he was holding, “Oh my, aren’t they the cutest little panties ever, so thick and sensible for a sweet boy like you, we will have to take care washing these, we don’t want them losing all that puffiness do we”. With that, Val took them from him and then places them in the dresser, the next drawer down from his pull ups. Alex then removed the next layer which contained some jeans and some more shorts, only to finally reveal the final surprise from his mother. There in plain view was the thickest terry cotton nappy he had seen, resting next to a pair of pale pink plastic panties that where covered in see through organza, with fine lace edging. For Alex he could see straight away what they where, it was something he had looked at so many times before, something he always wanted to try but never had. He was stuck in a trance until Val rested her hand on his, before looking at him, waiting to see if he would say anything. A few moments later with Alex still quiet, Val picked up the nappy and pants, removed it from the case and placed it on his bed next to the pillow. She closed the case, put it under the bed then looked at him, “Now you get undressed, I will go and run the bath. We can discuss the nappy later; there must be a good reason that your mum put it in there”. Part 13 Alex was speechless, he couldn’t believe that his mum had done this, he was trying to work out in his mind what would have made her do it, was there any way possible that she had found out his secret. In his mind he had been so careful, he never left his computer switched on, it was locked with a completely unique password. But while he was still thinking and trying to work things out, he had completely forgotten to get himself undressed, Val returned and caught him day dreaming. “Now come on Alex sweetie, I was hoping you would all ready and undressed ready for your bath” said Val in a sweet and motherly voice, “I can see that I am going to have to keep a firm eye on you in the future”. Before he had chance to start, Val was helping him remove his clothing, the bath was already full ready for him. Off came his t-shirt and shorts, leaving him standing there in just his sock and the cute pink pull up that Wendy put him in. Next off came his socks, just leaving him standing there in that pink pull up. Next thing he knew there was a flash of a camera; he turned to see Wendy standing the doorway taking a few snaps of him. “Forgive me Alex but I just had to have a few pics” said Wendy, “after all, it was me that put that on you”. But before Alex could reply, Wendy was off and gone. She needed to send those pics to his mum. Val took him by the hand and led him into the bathroom, then slowly tore each side of the pull up, before slowly pulling it away from his body. All the sticky cum was now stretching from him to that soft pink material, but the little strings broke away and he was now completely naked. Val looked at him and thought he looked so sweet, she could see now why Leslie wanted to get her little boy back again. Apart from his head, she noted that his body was practically hairless; he really was so young looking for his age. She would make sure that when the time was right, she would have all those stray hairs removed, he would be as smooth as a baby. “Come on sweetie, stop dawdling” said Val, “let's get you in the water before it starts getting cold, I will be back shortly to check on you”. With that Val helped Alex into the water and then gave him a large sponge to wash himself with, before leaving him alone to enjoy the nice hot water. He sat there for a while trying to take in what had happened over the last few hours since those services on the motorway. He knew things had changed, some of the things he wanted where starting to happen, but not quite in the way he expected. His peace was soon disturbed by a returning Val, but now she had a long length PVC apron on, her hair tied back out of the way. She came into the bathroom with a large fluffy white bath towel and put it down on the vanity unit. “Just as I thought” she said, “I leave you here to wash yourself and once more I find you day-dreaming, I think that I had best take care of things”. Without another word, she grabbed the sponge off Alex, added some all over baby wash, and then proceeded to wash Alex from head to toe, not even blinking when she got to private parts. She simply grabbed hold of his pee pee, and then washed it all over, top to bottom. Once she was done she had him stand up in the water, then she proceeded to wash between his legs, running her soapy fingers all over his bottom and between his cheeks. Alex was enjoying the touch once more, he wanted to say something, he was a young man and old enough to wash himself, but his natural instinct was to let her take over. All too soon for him it was over and she was taking his hand to help him out of the bath, then wrapping his soft skinned little body in the large fluffy towel. She dried him off in a motherly way, taking care to ensure he was totally dry, before leading him back into the bedroom. “Now I think it is still quite early, so let’s get you some clean underwear out, then get you dressed and I think we can go and get some dinner”. Val thought about using the nappy but decided that bedtime would be a far more appropriate time for its introduction to Alex. Instead she picked a pair of his thicker underwear from the dresser, ones she knew where actually training panties. She added a bit of powder to his private area, and then helped him into the panties, pulling them up making sure they were nice and snug. Next she gave him a t-shirt and shorts to wear, both plain white, followed by some small socks and then his white trainers. He loved the touch of Val while being dressed, she was stern like a mother would be, but at the same time so soft and gentle with him. He was once more getting aroused in his panties, something that didn’t go unnoticed to Val, but this would have to wait until later. “Come on sweetie, let’s go and get you some dinner, then you can have a look around the place, you might like what you see”. Apologies to all who have been reading, I got a bit snowed under with work so this had to take a seat on the backburner. Hopefully I will have more time to write once more. Chapter 14 Val took him by the hand and led him from his bedroom, back down the corridor they had come along. It was only just dawning on him that he was not going to be eating dinner in private; he would be going to the main dining room where all the other guests where eating. He worked out that the guest house was not huge, but it was full so there would be quite a few people there, probably all wondering who the young man all dressed in white was. Val had a few guests that were staying for the summer as well as Alex and Wendy, she was sure that they would want to meet little Alex at some point. When they reached the dining room, Wendy was already there sitting at a table, he could see the other place setting so knew that he must be joining her. As he made his way across the room he only really found his eyes meeting with two other ladies sitting together, both looking about the age of Val, wearing sleeveless tops and trousers, one dark hair and the other a blonde. He thought they were quite attractive even though they were older, but looked fit and trim at the same time. They smiled as he walked passed them before taking his seat with Wendy, the only two in the room that made eye contact with him. Val could see they noticed little Alex, “I see that Hannah and Angela have noticed you sweetie” said Val, “they are staying all summer just like you, they come every year for the summer season, selling their clothing at a stall in the summer market. When they are off they love to keep fit, I am sure you will love to meet them at some point”. Alex was ok with the keeping fit side of things, that is why he was always so slender, but he did wonder what they sold, assuming it to be ladies clothing, but he would find out another time. “Now don’t you look a handsome little boy” said Wendy, drawing Alex’s attention back to her and Val, “you look so sweet all dressed in white, we must make sure you have a nice big napkin to keep you clean”. That was when Val reached around him, putting the dark pink napkin in his lap, before tucking another in his shirt collar, draping down his front. Val then left Wendy and Alex to bring out the first course for everyone. They both enjoyed some tomato soup, and then chicken with potatoes before dessert was served. Everyone except Alex had cheesecake, but he was given ice cream with little sugar sprinkles on the top. He wondered why at the time but loved ice cream so didn’t bother to ask. With dinner over, Wendy retired to her room to do some work she had brought from the school, leaving Alex once more in the care of Val. “Now then sweetie” she said to him, removing his napkins and wiping his mouth and face, just like a mother would to a little child, “Why don’t we go for a little walk and I can show you the beach and the seafront”. “Do you need to use the bathroom first” she asked him, just loud enough for Hannah and Angela to overhear, causing a little smile and giggle from them. “I guess I better had” replied Alex, the last thing he wanted was to be caught short. So standing up Val once again led him back through the dining room, before taking him to his bathroom. But what shocked Alex was that she went in with him and without a word, lowered his shorts and training pants before pushing him down onto the toilet seat. “It's ok Alex; I have had a son of my own, so I have seen it all. Now you go pee pee for Aunty Val, I did promise your mummy I would take care of you”. Alex was lost for words, he didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he just sat down and did his best to let his pee flow out. He stood up and was about to pull his pants back up when he got a look from Val that said just one thing, hands off! So instead he just stood still and let her take care of things. She then wiped his little cock softly, before sprinkling some baby powder over it, then sliding his training panties back up. Now she was smoothing them out, rubbing him gently to get a reaction from him. It worked, she was now feeling a little bulge growing in his pants, and Alex was wriggling slowly at her touch, so she carried on. She then had him step out of his shorts, leaving him standing there in just the training pants, socks and trainers. While still rubbing him she reached into a cupboard and pulled out a pair of clear plastic pants, wanting to put him into them as soon as possible. “Now come on sweetie, be a good boy for Aunty Val, lets slip these onto you then we won’t have anything leaking through that we need to worry about”. He was like putty in her hands, the feeling flowing through him once more that he had experienced with Wendy. He put one leg then the other into the pants, before Val slowly lifted them up his smooth legs, pulling them into place. She now need to reward him she thought, let him see how good he was for letting her do this to him. Val now had her hand rubbing and caressing the front of him, her other hand now inside the back of his panties, holding his soft pink botty cheeks. A stray finger slowly edging towards his soft little hole, she knew she would have that one day soon. “Come on sweetie, show Aunty Val what a good boy you are, let it all out, you know you want to cream you soft terry panties, especially now you are safe in your plastic pants”. Alex was now beyond the point of no return, he wanted to release so much, Val had done the same to him that Wendy had before. Then suddenly he tensed up and just as Val’s finger touched his little hole, he squirted into the training pants. “Oh you perfect little darling” said Val to him softly, “I bet that felt so nice didn’t it, I bet you are glad we put your plastic pants on, such a lot of wet sticky cream would have soaked through your new training pants”. Chapter 15 Alex was left standing there with emotions running through his body like nothing he had never felt before. Val had made him feel so special, he wanted to thank her but felt too embarrassed to say anything, he had enjoyed it but it should have felt so bad. He looked at her but just could not bring himself to say anything. Instinct told Val that she had him all mixed up inside, he had been dressed as pure and innocent as possible but still in adult clothes, well on the outside anyway. Then without any fuss she had taken him into the bathroom to use the toilet, before getting him all worked up and making him cum in his little training panties. “Come on sweetie” Val told him, “I think you need a little bit of fresh air to cool you down and let you get a breather”. Val took him by the hand and led him back out into the corridor before heading outside, but not before collecting a small bag. It held a jumper for both of them in case the air got a bit cool, but they where, unknown to Alex both in pale baby pink. She also had two rain capes in there as it had forecast the chance of a shower later in the evening. On the way out through the door Alex passed both Angela and Hannah, both of them giving his bottom a little pat on the way through the door before giggling. It was as though the sound of his plastic pants was echoing to them; he began to wonder if they knew already, or if not, how long it would be before they found out. Leaving the guesthouse entrance, Alex once again found himself hand in hand with Val, well more so Val taking his hand. With every little step he took he could feel the damp patch in the front of his pants pressing against his skin, he knew that if it weren’t for the plastic pants there would be a large wet spot showing. He knew that Val had left him this way for her own enjoyment, but maybe for his own humiliation. But after a while he had gotten used to the feeling and carried on as though nothing mattered. Val carried on walking trying not to look down on her sweet little charge, but she kept having the odd little glance at him, seeing the conflict in his face, looking at the picture of innocence, still dressed all in white. They approached one of the shelters along the sea front so Val decided it was time to sit down and add a layer of clothing now that the sun was setting. Val sat down and lifted Alex onto her knee, the size difference between them making the job quite easy. “I think it’s time for a sweater for both of us sweetie” said Val, “we don’t want to catch cold, your mummy would never forgive me”. “Here we go” said Val reaching into her bag and pulling out two sweaters, “I hope you don’t mind that I got matching ones for us, they where the first ones I grabbed out of the cupboard”. Val tried to make it sound like a coincidence she had picked two pale pink sweaters, but that had been her plan all along. “I guess it doesn’t matter” replied Alex, “it’s not as though mine is a girls or ladies one”, not really knowing one way or the other just making a logical assumption. “It does feel really soft though” said Alex, “it will keep me nice and warm”. Val proceeded to dress Alex in his new sweater knowing full well that it was a girls, it was also a mix of lamb’s wool and angora, designed to be super soft on smooth skin. She knew only too well that it would tingle the soft blonde hairs on his arms; what few of them there were. She then proceeded to put her own on, before giving Alex a small carton of juice with a little straw in it. When they set off again, Alex once again hand in hand with Val, they looked like mother and child, from a distance they could have been mistaken for mother and daughter with Alex dressed in pink and white. Val now understood more and more why his mom wanted him back as her little one, he was so unassuming and innocent with regards to the big wide world, he needed the close love and attention, and so far that is what he had been getting. Alex finished his drink while walking along, Val pointing out small things along the way; the best part of the beach; where he could swim and where to get the best ice cream. Alex tried to pay attention but was having a bigger problem, the need for the bathroom. The little mess he had made in his trainer pants earlier, combined with the carton of juice now meant he needed to visit the bathroom. “Erm Aunty Val” said Alex, wondering what to say, “is there anywhere with a bathroom nearby, I need to use one”. Val thought for a moment, wondering whether it was too soon to have Alex wet himself, she so wanted to but decided that outdoors would be unfair to him. “Come on sweetie, there are some toilets further along” she said, “can you be a good boy and hold on for me, it’s not far”. Alex had little choice but to carry on hoping that he wouldn’t leak anything, he was now quite relieved to be wearing the plastic pants. They soon reached the bathroom but there was a sign on the door of the mens room saying it was out of order, saying the next was about 15 mins away. He knew he could not hold for that long so rather than take a boy into the ladies; Val opened the door to the baby change room, knowing it would be empty this time in the evening, then pulling Alex in behind her. To avoid adults using this room as a toilet, there was only a potty chair in the corner suitable for a child, so Val told Alex he would have to use it. To stop him getting his white shorts dirty by touching the floor, Val insisted that he take them off first. So he soon found himself sitting on a child’s potty, wearing only his trainers and socks with his white polo and pink jumper. With Alex looking down, Val took the opportunity to take a quick picture of him, before sending it to his mum. “Are you all done sweetie” said Val bringing him back to his senses, “stand up so I can wipe you dry”. Val took hold of his little cock and gently dabbed it dry with some paper, still seeing the remains of the shiny cum glistening on his skin. “I think that we will have to give someone a shower when they get home, you really did fill your panties for Aunty Val didn’t you, you where such a good boy”. Those words from Val only had one effect on young Alex, I made him excited once again, but all Val did this time was to clean him further with his cloth training pants. When she finished, she held them out and looked at Alex, “You can’t wear these back home, they are far to damp for your delicate skin” “I am afraid that you will just have to wear your plastic pants under your shorts, but I am sure that you will be ok” “Come on; let me put them back on you”. Val slid the plastic pants back up his legs, fitting them over his bottom and pulling them up at the front, but his now semi stiff cock pointing upright beneath the soft PVC. She then helped him back into his shorts, fastening them up, and then patting the front of them. “Come on sweetie” said Val gathering their things, “time to head back I think”. The first few steps Alex took where the strangest ever to him, the soft PVC now caressing him with every step he took, making him harder and harder. But Val just gently smiled at him, wondering how long he could hold on for. Chapter 16 The light was beginning to fade as the sun started to set out over the sea, the temperature still relatively warm but the need for the soft jumper Alex was wearing justified with the sea breeze. It was the first time he had really noticed the small resort he would be spending his summer in, somewhere he could feel safe, already finding himself being very intimately cared for by Val and Wendy. As they carried on along the sea front back towards Val’s guesthouse, Alex found himself getting more and more excited within the confines of his plastic pants, the soft smooth PVC encasing his little private parts, rubbing him slowly with each step he took. Val knew full well the effect it was having on little Alex but was not letting up and carried on walking, her hand gripping tightly to that of Alex, making sure the pace was kept up. As they approached the shelter they stopped at on the way down, the sky clouded over very quickly from the land, a few droplets of rain starting to fall. They just made it in time before the rain got heavier; joined at the same time by two ladies that had come from the opposite direction. It was only when they all met at the same side of the shelter that Alex could see it was the two ladies from the guest house that had spoken to him earlier; Hannah and Angela. “Hello there sweetie” said Hannah, surprised to see Alex standing there, “don’t you look all nice and warm in that soft pink sweater” “I might have to ask Val where she got that, I would love one like that myself, it looks so soft and girlish, maybe Val will take us shopping for one”. Val looked down at her little companion, she loved how embarrassed he would get but still not say anything. “I think I can find time to show you where they came from” said Val, “it would be a good idea to get another for Alex for these cooler summer evenings, maybe one in lemon or white, what do you think Alex”? Alex was caught with nowhere to go, he had to be good and didn’t want to anger Val, even though the colours she mentioned where just as childish and girlish as the pink one he was wearing. “Maybe it would be a good idea” replied Alex, “it does feel nice and warm”. He answered as best he could hope that in time they would forget about the idea. “It looks like this rain is set for the evening” said Angela, “I do hope you have a coat to keep your soft wool nice and dry Alex”. But before he could answer Val had her hand in the bag she was carrying, “I thought I would bring these just in case” replied Val pulling out a folded up PVC raincoat, “you never can tell with this sea air”. Hannah took the coat from Val and opened it up, letting out a pleasant smile and little giggle when she saw that it was pale pink, but still see-through. “Come along Alex” she said, “let me help you on with this then you can be on your way, back home to nice warm bath before bedtime”. Hannah held the coat out while Alex slipped his arms in without any arguments; it was soft and smooth, and quite figure hugging to him. Hannah smiled to him as she closed the front and did up the buttons. Her hands smoothed it out around his body, only then did she hear the rustling of his panties, those plastic ones that had caressed him all the way to his present location. Val could see that Alex was getting embarrassed again, his shorts slightly tenting at the front again, she wondered if he would react to Hannah touching him the same as when she did. “Please excuse me for a moment” said Val, “I need to make a phone call, and I just remembered I had forgotten to order something for tomorrow”. “Now Alex, you stay here with Hannah, I will be just around the corner”. All of the phone call talk had been an excuse made up by Val, but none of them knew that apart from her. Once Val was around the corner, Hannah sat down on the bench and lifted Alex onto her lap, holding him close with one arm, her other hand now resting on top of the bulge in his pants. “Do you like your plastic pants sweetie” she whispered to him, “I bet they are so soft and smooth rubbing on your little pee pee, have you already been naughty in them”? Alex just looked at her and nodded, he knew that without anyone stopping her, he would soon have another mess in them. Hannah now had her hand inside the shorts and was playing with him, rubbing him slowly, telling him quietly and softly that he was such a sweet boy. “You are going to make the perfect little one for your mummy” said Hannah to him, something which he secretly wanted but had still never let out. “Now be a good little boy and fill your panties for Aunty Hannah, let all that boyish little cream out”. This was getting too much for him, his body tensed up more and more with each touch from Hannah, until she whispered one last comment, “You will be doing this lots and lots when with me, I guarantee” That sent Alex over the edge; he began to spurt more of his creamies into the panties. Chapter 17 Hannah held Alex close while he did his best to regain his composure, there was a grin on her face from side to side, enjoying so much what she had just put the poor boy through, but now looking forward even more to the next time she play with him. Alex was coming back to his senses when he felt Angela run her fingers through his hair, “Awww, such a sweet little boy” she told him, “I can’t wait to go swimming with you tomorrow”! Alex new nothing about this but felt strangely comfortable with all the ladies he was now acquainted with, no matter what they seemed to be doing to him. He had been through so many emotions so far but all of them so pleasurable. Val had finished her so called phone call and re-appeared from the other side, but she had been watching Alex without him knowing, loving every moment of it. But now was the time to take him home and get him settled for the night, he had had quite a day so far and must have been exhausted. “Come along little one” said Val, “I think it is about time we were going, I am sure that you will have plenty of time to play with Hannah and Angela”. Alex just blushed at the thought, wondering what Val meant, but his mind was brought back to the present moment as soon as he stood up. All that fluid was now gathering once more in the bottom of his plastic panties. His little balls now coated in the emissions that both Val and Hannah had coaxed from him. So finally with his pink PVC raincoat fastened up, his hood pulled up, Val took him by the hand and they set off back towards the guesthouse. The walk back was quiet, neither saying much, both getting covered in the rain that was still falling, but Alex quite happy to be dry in his coat, even if it was pink. Once safely back indoors, Val helped him off with his coat. “Well I think it is time for you to go have a bath” said Val, “I am sure that your pants must be quite full by now, I can’t leave you in them, now can I”. Val led him upstairs back towards his bathroom, to be greeted by Wendy coming out of her room, “Well hello sweetheart” said Wendy, “I hope you have had a nice walk”. “Are we going for a nice warm bath”? “Yes” replied Val before Alex could speak, “his little underwear didn’t last too long”, “But it is ok, his plastic pants managed to hold all his little messes, so I think it time to get him cleaned up before bed”. “Well I can’t let you do all the work” said Wendy, “you go and check that all is ok with the staff and guests, I will get Alex started with the bath”. Wendy took Alex to his bathroom, and then started the water running in the bath while she slowly proceeded to remove his clothes. Alex felt a little nervous as this was the first time Wendy had actually seen him totally naked. While she turned off the water, Alex was left to stand in just his plastic panties, the see-through PVC doing nothing to hide all the cumsie sloshing around inside. Wendy turned around to look at him, knowing full well what had happened, Val actually messaged her earlier to let her know what fun they had been having. “My oh my” she exclaimed trying to be surprised, “you really have been enjoying yourself haven’t you”. She spread a towel on the floor, then slowly lowered the panties from Alex, strings of white cum hanging from his skin, leaving his little cock and balls all shiny. Once he had stepped out of them she wondered for a moment, thinking would he taste it, but then thought that could wait for another time. “Right then, into the bath with you” said Wendy, “I will just wash these out in the sink then we can make sure that you are all clean”. Alex lowered himself into the water, sinking slowly under all the soft bubbles that now surrounded him, trying his best to wash as quickly as possible. He looked around for a sponge but there was none to be found, a washcloth neither, he now knew he would not be washing himself. “Right then little one” said Wendy, turning her attention back to him, now holding a large sponge in her hands, “let’s get you all washed and clean, then Val will be back to get you dressed for bed”. “But...but..but” stammered Alex, “I can wash myself if you give me the sponge, I am sure I can manage”. “Nonsense” replied Wendy, kneeling down at the side of the bath, “we all promised your mummy that we would take good care of you, and so that is what we will do”! With that she put her fingers in the bubbles and then brought some up and dabbed them onto Alex’s nose, causing Alex to giggle as he accepted his fate, he could never go against his mums wishes no matter how strange they seemed. Wendy then plunged the sponge in to the water, then brought it up to Alex’s chest and began to wash him, making sure that no place was left untouched. With the top of his body done, Wendy had Alex get on his hands and knees in the bath, where she proceeded to wash his bottom before turning her attention to between his legs. Alex was giggling like a little girl while this was happening; she had now found his ticklish week spot. She slowly washed every part of his little body; his balls, and then finally his little pee pee. He could not help it when it started to grow under her soft touch, but this time he would not be getting any relief from it, the ladies had decided that he had gone through enough today. Just as Wendy finished washing him, Val returned to the bathroom with a very large white fluffy towel in her arms. She could help but laugh when she saw little Alex on his hands and knees in the water, still with a big pile of bubbles sitting on his bottom. “Come on sweetie, it’s time to get you out before you get addicted to those bubbles” said Val, still chuckling to herself. She waited for Wendy to pour some water over Alex’s bottom, before helping him to stand up, then wrapping the big warm fluffy towel around him. “Now don’t you look all snug and warm in there” said Wendy, “I think I can leave you safe in Val’s arms for the rest of the night”. With that she kissed Alex on his head, and then left Val to dry Alex off and get him ready for bed. Leaving the bathroom and going back into Alex’s bedroom, the first thing Alex noticed layed out on his bed was the big white fluffy towelling nappy and the plastic pants that his mum had packed and sent with him.
  24. Something in the air The air was filled with magic, mayhem and maleficence. All Soul’s Night was upon us and, despite the streets being filled with kids dressed to induce laughter and fear in equal amounts in their pursuance of candy, there was something else, something indescribable, something intangible, something eerie about the approaching clouds. * John and Max were two sixteen year-olds who had lived all their lives in this small town, and, since they were three had spent kindergarten, elementary, middle and senior school together. They’re not related, just neighbours though it has to be said their mothers are the best of friends and so close that their husbands rarely get a look in without the other being present. In fact, John and Max think that their dads have made a pact to keep the women together so that they can spend more time on the golf course or in the clubhouse. The women, like the men, spend an inordinate amount of time in each other’s company. Maybe all small communities are the same but at times that closeness can be a bit suffocating. Take John and Max, they’ve hardly ever been apart; they can count the number of times they’ve been separated in days rather than months. They know what each other’s thinking and can easily anticipate how the near future will roll out - the same damn thing. * John looked out of the window to the scene below and sighed heavily. He, like his friend, regarded Halloween as ‘stupid’ and only for little kids so wasn’t really involved or impressed in the dressing up side of this particular occasion. Loads of youngsters of all ages, attired in their scary best, trekked up and down the street trading ‘Trick or Treats’. Their colourful outfits and all those garish garden props briefly (well for one night) producing a strange, peppy atmosphere to their normally quiet, dull suburb. The threatening cloud now engulfed the sky giving a different ghoulish quality to what was being played out below. Scary kids unexpectedly became frightened by the sudden loss of light and began to scatter. Parents scooped up their offspring, deciding on calling it an early night and hurried home. And then it started. * At first, as they looked on, people thought it was just rain but the streets weren’t getting wet. The white street lighting glowed orange and each source of brightness was surrounded by multiple murky halos. A creepy feeling invaded the souls over those still on the street, they were sure something lurked in the dark as they shivered in foreboding and fled to the safety of their homes. * The air was thick with something but even this weird meteorological phenomenon hadn’t piqued John’s interest that much. He harrumphed, fidgeted and grew restless as he stared down at the rapidly emptying street. It seemed the proper reaction for a teenage lad who’d grown tired of his surroundings. He sighed heavily once more - bored, bored, BORED. It was their own fault; both had been invited to the Halloween Celebrations at the Golf Club, where their parents had gone but Max and John decided they would like the prospect of a night without mom and dad in the picture. However, between them they hadn’t come up with a better plan and, now the weather threatened, were left wishing and hoping for something, anything to happen but doing nothing to make it so. With the darkness surrounding everything the boys expected some kind of storm but there was no distant rumbling, no streaks of bright lightning sparking the clouds into action. The stillness was deafening. * For the two teenagers the small town had become stifling, John felt it more than Max and was desperate to finish school and experience University life or, even better, leave this damn town altogether. However, being sixteen is a strange, and for him at least, an annoying age, where others still made his decision even though he felt grown up. He desperately wanted some excitement in his life, something to take him out of the ordinary, something different, maybe, something amazing! Max was feeling thirsty and asked his best mate if wanted anything to drink. John, sighing again but with his nose pressed to the window shook his head. Max toddled off to the fridge hopeful that there might be a beer or two to assuage his sudden craving. * A woman pushing a stroller along the street hurried to get out of that all-pervasive gloom. The baby, no more than nine months old, was crying, possibly also feeling the heavy murk that surrounded them as they proceeded on their way. Still thinking Max was in earshot and staring down at the lady and her baby, John said: “What I really want is a change.” At that moment, the sky lit up and the expected lightning flashed an extreme and sinister bolt of fuzzy blue light down onto the scurrying family of two. In that same instant John was bedazzled as the window where he was standing suddenly lit up with a similar effervescent blue glow. In that silent but bright second, lives changed. * When Max returned to the living room, delightedly slurping down the cool refreshing beer he’d hoped for, he was surprised to see a bunch of clothes, John’s clothes, lying discarded on the floor. Stranger still was the bulge underneath that was moving. He tentatively bent down to inspect what it might be and was surprised to see a small naked baby, sat looking vacantly up at him. * The lady with the stroller was stunned by the flash of electric blue light. She had been wishing that the baby would stop crying and was desperate for the small child to be over making such an awful din. Her nerves were shot at having to be completely at this little noise-machines beck and call twenty-four hours a day. She was secretly wishing for him to grow up. Not surprisingly the flash had briefly disorientated her but perhaps more surprising was to find a huge sixteen year-old baby crammed into a ripped onesie and ill-fitting diaper. The stroller keeled over and fell off the curb with the strange distribution of weight and the wailing, all-but naked baby was sent sprawling into the street. A baby’s cry may be piercing but when it had the lung development of a healthy teenager, that howl was incredible. A second later and the confused couple were zapped by another bolt of fluorescent light and disappeared. The street was empty as the darkness slowly began to ‘re-arrange itself'. * Max looked from the baby to his bottle of beer wondering just what was in the drink. Then he had another thought, this must be a clever and ingenious ‘trick’ that was being played out. He wasn’t sure how they had managed it but he smiled at the brilliance of the ‘joke’. He was feeling silly that for a moment at least he’d believed something magical had happened. Of course John couldn’t have been turned into a baby, that’s just ridiculous. He called out to his unseen ‘tricksters’ and then started searching for them. However, a chill ran down his spine when he realised there was no one else in the house. As it became abundantly clear he was alone with a baby, that chill quickly became an iceberg in the pit of his stomach. * Max returned to the living room looking nervously past the pile of clothes and at the naked little baby wriggling on its back. The slow, jerky movements and low murmuring were definitely that of a baby as he tried to think what to do. Thinking wasn’t easy because none of this made any sense and he was a teenage boy… so had no idea what to do with an infant. Their parents were out together so he and this tiny creature, o-oh he could now see it was definitely a boy, were the only people in the house. He approached the child again and was surprised to see that it looked like a baby John. The gurgles weren’t words but the eyes searched for focus and once it saw Max raised its arms out as if in acknowledgement and requesting to be picked up. Max didn’t want to go anywhere near him if he could avoid it but the sudden change of features on the baby proceeded a loud wail of distress. Max wanted to run, he wanted out of there, not only because of the noise the baby was making but, well, panic set in, he simply didn’t know what the hell was going on. However, with a small fountain of pee now arching in the air from the tiny visitor he knew he couldn’t leave an infant to its own devices. He wasn’t that much of an uncaring teen, but thought that the only way to stop it doing what it was doing was to comfort and clothe it in some way. * He rushed to the bathroom and returned with a towel, which he wrapped around the naked child. The blubbing stopped for a few seconds and then started again. Max cautiously picked the baby up and was happy when the crying stopped. He wrapped the towel more firmly around and gently rested him in his arms. As he gazed down at the bundle he was even more convinced that the baby was John, it had to be, even though every scrap of intelligence and reason told him that was impossible. However, here he was, cradling his best friend and trying to mollify the small child when a thought struck him. “How the hell was he going to explain THIS to John’s parents?” They weren’t expected back for a few hours yet so he was hopeful that this small bundle would somehow magically transform back to his friend. However, as he clasped his best mate he could feel a warm damp patch on his shirt. At first it didn’t register and then when he realised the baby was peeing itself his immediate reaction was to go “Uuurrgghh” and throw the poor wet baby away in disgust. However, he had to be careful… this was John and, despite his soaked shirt and jeans, he needed to get the baby into some better leak-proof protection. * He carried John to the bathroom and settled him in the washing basin so that he wouldn’t fall out. He stripped off his damp shirt and jeans thinking once he had John settled he could put his stuff in the wash. He definitely didn’t want to be wandering around the house smelling of his mate’s piss. Dressed only in his underpants Max searched through various draws and cupboards for another towel and something plastic to keep all the dampness in. He found a small soft pink fluffy hand-towel, which he assumed was John’s mother’s and, as that was the most babyish item, decided to use that. He also found some safety pins, lotion and talcum powder. Despite many misgivings and false starts he eventually had baby John cleaned up and thickly diapered; the thick pink towel seemingly engulfing the small infant but at least keeping everything else safe from any unexpected deluge. He’d found some plastic freezer bags that he fashioned into a pair of protecting pants and held them on with sticky tape, which he wound round the baby’s waist and legs – he just hoped that would hold things in place long enough until John’s parents returned. Notwithstanding the believability of the situation Max held the baby at arm’s length and was really quite proud of his handiwork. John was very bulky but at least well protected and there was even a little smile of thanks from the baby’s dribbly lips. Max had also found a piece of moulded plastic which he thought might serve as a pacifier and slipped it between his lips – the baby started sucking furiously. * “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.” Was the sum total of words running through Max’s mind - panic and the belief that he was going mad producing no clear thought process at all. As the temporary paci fell from John’s lips and the start of blubbering could be heard emanating from that little screwed-up face he suddenly found another. “HELP” Earlier he remembered that when he picked the squirming infant up it seemed to soothe him a little so, although it was the last thing he wanted to do, he picked up the squalling baby, rocking him close to his chest. This was a mistake. * Max was still naked apart from his underpants and a little mouth, zoning in after millennia of evolution and guided by a natural human response to find a source of nourishment, latched on to the available nipple. “OW” The scream of shock that ran through Max made him pull that gripping little mouth quickly away from the hoped for food supply. John may not have any teeth but that sucker really tweaked his mate’s sensitive left nipple. The cry of disappointment from the small bundle of pink towel and plastic bags was louder than expected and any attempt to stifle it with the return of the pacifier was quickly spat out. Max had no alternative, until he could find some way of feeding John, he’d have to let him suck on his tit as it was the only way he knew to keep him quiet. Tentatively, he led the little searching mouth back to his nipple and screwed his face up in fearful anticipation as his best friend began to suck. “Owww, owwww, owwwww” He was amazed just how much suction that little orifice could generate and it was uncomfortable to say the least. Well to begin with at least. * Max carried his burden into the kitchen in search of some milk and a way of getting any that he found warmed and in a receptacle that a baby would be able to negotiate. There was milk in the fridge but despite an extensive search (with John still suckling on his nipple) hadn’t really found anything that might be usable to feed a baby. He thought about simply slowly tipping the bottle into the baby’s mouth but realised that couldn’t be done without drowning the poor little thing. That intense tight vacuum that pulled on his tit needed a bit of relief so he slowly prized his best friend away from his left nipple and aimed him towards the right. “Ow, ow….erm… mmmmm.” Max looked down at John who, with eyes closed, gently soothing himself as he drifted off to wherever baby’s go in their dreams. * Relieved for a few moments he needed to think. Max wasn’t the brightest lad in class but he knew he had to come up with a solution on how to feed his best friend before the tears of frustration and hunger really started. Eventually he found an empty plastic bottle with a pull top spout, he had no idea what it had been used for in the past but it looked clean and he was hopeful that after he’d washed it out a few times, it just might make a suitable baby’s bottle. Still carrying John clutched to his bosom, he set about boiling water and washing the bottle thoroughly. Throughout this process the little bundle never made a sound apart from the occasional slurp or satisfied suck. John’s warm little body being an actual comfort to Max as he went about his intended ‘patented baby feeding machine’. He was feeling good about it although kept checking the reliability of the pull-up spout that would seal in or let out the liquid. After about 30 minutes of washing and re-washing the bottle in the hope of getting it relatively hygienic he warmed up some milk before pouring it into the plastic bottle. * Thankfully he hadn’t boiled the liquid only warmed it up, that was something he knew about babies, but that seemed the total of his knowledge. However, he was learning rapidly as he found it difficult getting all the stuff poured into the narrow neck without spilling. With a child on one arm and a saucepan in the other it was a very tricky manoeuvre. Eventually the bottle was full and he tried the ingenious dispenser himself. He sucked and the milk came out. He wasn’t a fan of milk in the first place and this method of drinking it didn’t help much at all. However, it worked to some degree and had to hope that John would be able to negotiate the patented ‘Max’s, maximum, milk machine’ the triple ‘M’ (Max was never very good at math). He tentatively pulled the small though powerful sucking mouth away, sat on the sofa and fed the apparatus between the baby’s lips. Droplets of milk must have teased the child’s taste buds because after only a few seconds the need to feed overcame any other thoughts as John started sucking. * Twenty minute later and the bottle was empty. John’s unfocused eyes and wobbly head gave the impression he was tired after such an effort but Max was actually elated that not only had his improvised bottle worked but that he’d fed his mate. However, just as that pleased tingle was circulating around his body that little face in front of him screwed up and began to bawl. Pressing the baby to his tit didn’t have the desired effect this time, he just didn’t latch on and the crying intensified as well as some agitated squirming. Max wasn’t sure what to do but after a couple of minutes of this wailing he wondered if the baby needed winding. He slid John up onto his shoulder and gently patted the baby’s back. To his surprise and pleasure a huge burp and fart was followed by silence except for some tiny little wriggles and gurgling. He slipped the pretend paci between John’s lips and watched as the baby closed his eyes and sucked contentedly. Relief followed and Max felt as exhausted as the baby. He spread himself out on the sofa and held John close to his chest and, feeling he’d done what he could, fell into a deep sleep. * At midnight the fuzzy orange halo that surrounded the street lights burst into an electric blue and then scattered in many directions although some streaks gathered at the window of a certain house. If you stared closely enough you would have seen thousands and thousands of little blue imps talking and giggling to themselves as they peered through the glass and saw the two bodies huddled on the sofa; a little pink diapered baby and an all but naked youth lying fast asleep in his underpants. The giggling intensified as the town clock struck for the final time indicating that Hallow’s Eve was over and the imps must return things back to normal. However, the giggling intensified as the little neon blue characters held a quick discussion and made a decision. * As John’s mother and father approached their drive they were shocked by the sudden dramatic appearance right in front of their car of a woman pushing a stroller. She looked as surprised as the car’s occupants and, still terrified by her near death experience, rushed on her way shaking her head looking decidedly confused and more than a little distressed. “Stupid bloody woman,” John’s father mumbled under his breath. “She could have been killed.” “Now, now sweetheart… just think… you’ve had a couple of drinks so…” As they turned into their drive his wife left the insinuation hanging in the air. Once the car had pulled up she got out and made her way to the front door. She tried to be quiet as she didn’t want to wake her son if he should be asleep. However, when she entered the living room she was in for a bit of a shock. Lying out on the sofa was her son, who for some reason was wrapped in a small pink towel and his friend Max who was also laid out wearing only his underpants. They made quite an interesting picture and John’s mother, thinking the scene was cute, smiled, produced her mobile and quickly snapped off a couple of photographs of the recumbent pair. * It must have been the flashes that registered in Max’s brain. It took him a few seconds to wake up and realise where he was. As he focused he could see John’s mother stood looking down at him and moments later realised that his best mate was snuggled up with his face rubbing in a sea of slick saliva against his nipple. To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. To say that the shock turned to embarrassment almost immediately was not. To add fuel to the bizarre situation John’s father appeared in the doorway. “What the fu…….” The image of his son wearing a tiny pink towel (not completely wrapped around his groin and with bits of tape and ripped plastic hanging from parts of his body) was an image he would have preferred not to see. The fact that he was drooling over his best friend who was wearing only his underwear told a story that his father had hoped not to have to know about for many years to come, if ever. For some reason John’s mother found the entire scene amusing and chuckled to herself as her irate husband tried to find words to express, well, whatever he thought was appropriate for such a situation. Alas words failed him and he found himself huffing and puffing in some kind of angry indignation as his son eventually woke up. * To begin with John’s orientation was all over the place and he didn’t comprehend why his mother and father were staring at him. He then clocked a surprised and anxious looking Max before realising that his best friend was naked. He pulled away and stood up only to find that the towel that had adhered itself to his genitals began, under the weight of a rather wet slumber, to peel away. Once he sensed that his covering, as flimsy as it was, was slipping away he grabbed and held it tightly against his cock trying to hide his naked embarrassment. “What the bloody hell…” It seemed that John’s father was desperate to say something but just didn’t know what exactly those words should be. “Just, er, can you…” No, it was no good he just couldn’t find a phrase that seemed in the least bit suitable. Both boys stood there speechless, one in a soaked pair of briefs, whilst the other clutched a sodden towel against his groin. They were stunned into inaction by fear and a lack of comprehension as to what exactly had gone on. John had no idea how he ended up as he was and Max was struggling with how to explain what had happened when he didn’t know himself. The only positive Max could think of was that at least John was no longer a small dependent child. However, that would have explained the situation… if it wasn’t so unbelievable. Eventually John’s mother spoke. “Well you boys certainly seem to have had a little Halloween party of your own.” The tone in her voice and emphasis on certain key words, together with her raised eyebrows, signified that she knew precisely what had gone on and it was nothing to do with Halloween. The boys shivered in humiliation. “You two have known each other long enough to know what, er, you want…” She was inferring she understood when two boys get naked together but, try as they might, at that moment neither Max nor John were able to find an argument to dissuade her from her assumption. They were terror struck to the spot and mute with lack of being able to give details as to how they ended up as they had. “I’m not sure why you thought it necessary to involve my hand towel.” She pointed at the heavily hanging soaked item that was slightly dripping onto the carpet. That milk might have been a good idea at one time but now was soaked into everything. “But I’m sure you boys have a suitable explanation of why you want to wet yourselves?” * John’s father stormed out of the room unable to hear any more of this type of talk, whilst his wife, seemingly enjoying her son’s and his friend discomfort, waited for some sort of reply. They both shuffled nervously hoping that she would let them go. John could see his pile of clothes by the window, whilst Max knew his were in the washing machine. However, John’s mother wanted to investigate the situation for a while longer. She noticed the bottle on the floor and asked for an explanation. Max could only mumble something about milk and feeding… but the full account failed him. He knew the circumstances but they sounded pathetic and a feeble excuse so remained silent and bewildered. “Well,” she finally said, “it appears to me that you two young love birds have found something you both enjoy.” The words of protest were silenced as she held up her hand and shook her head as if to say there was no point in denying it, the proof… was simply scattered all about them and drooping between John’s thighs. “Now, in this day and age it’s all quite acceptable, although your father may not agree, but if you are going to play at being babies I would be grateful if you wouldn’t involve any of my things.” They both shook their heads desperately wanting to refute what she was saying but, as she’d pointed out, the naked evidence and soaked undies was pretty damning. “Anyway, so that you don’t need to include my towels in your future juvenile adventures, tomorrow I’ll buy some disposables and plastic pants and then you won’t have to… and…” She indicated the soaked underwear and then said with another tone that meant she would tolerate no argument. “I shall