LittleFallenPrincess

Yeah this is why I couldn't do 24/7 as just a baby. Very boring lives. I like occasional baby/toddler with some adult privileges.

Chapter 25: Treatment Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- “Good morning, sleepyhead…” I rubbed my eyes as I looked up to see Ceres leaning over the crib railing, smiling down at me. “M… mornin…” “Can we talk?” she asked, with a serious expression on her face. “I… is Ollie up?” “No, it’s an hour before his usual wake up time. I just… I needed to talk to someone about yesterday.” I rubbed the last bit of sleep from my eyes and shuffled up out of bed, leaning back against the headboard of the crib in a sitting position. As I shuffled up I could feel my wet nappy slosh around under me… which a few months ago used to freak me out… but now… not so much. This was just normal at this point. “I mean… sure? But are you supposed to talk to me about it? Surely you and the other Nannies are close? Surely you’re supposed to talk to them, or at least someone higher up…?” “I guess. But I like talking to you. You… aren’t part of the system here. I need an unbiased view.” “You think I’m unbiased? The guy you kidnapped and forcefully regressed into an adult baby?” I replied, smiling at her to make her know I was just playing. She already looks like she’s stressed about what happened, I don’t want to add guilt to her plate. “Yes, but I gave you an out… you’re the one who chose to stay…” she smiled back at me. “Touché. So… you want to talk about yesterday?” “Yeah…” “Why? Surely that’s happened before?” “Oh yes. The six of us taking care of your year have been in since the creation of Elysium. So I’ve seen it all. We’re the only ones who are now on their second intake, the other twelve Nannies taking care of the second and third years are all on their first pair each.” “So why are you so shaken up about it?” I asked. “Who says I’m…” before she could finish this sentence, I reached up and put my hand on hers, which stopped her trembling. “Ah… my body betrays me…” “What’s so special about yesterday?” I asked, tilting my head slightly. “I… was worried.” “About?” “You. And Ollie.” “Why? We would’ve been okay. We had six super strong Nannies and then a whole security detail keeping us safe…” “I know. And I’ve seen meltdowns. I’ve seen people be taken down like that. All it takes is one second for something bad to happen. But…” “But?” “But I’ve never had to do that myself… I’ve… look, I was trained how to use it…” “But you never actually shot anyone with your taser?” I said, putting the pieces together. “Exactly. But I had to. This time I had my pair in danger… I…” “I’m thankful you did it, Ceres…” It was at that point that she came out with something I never thought she’d say to me. “Rachel.” “Huh?” I replied, squinting and looking at her with confusion. “My name. It’s Rachel.” I sat there in silence for a minute, before she continued. “Aaaaand now I’m going to get a massive telling off by my superiors… but I don’t care.” “What? You weren’t born as Ceres?” I joked, sticking my tongue out at her. “Oh yes… such a wonderful Scottish name… Ceres…” she joked back. “But no… I shouldn’t have told you my name. I don’t care though. They can yell at me as much as they want. You’re not a normal intake here, you already know more than any other baby in our care. Probably more than most graduates…” “Really? Even more than the graduates? Also don’t get yourself in trouble with me, Rachel… I don’t want anything to happen to you…” She giggled and smiled at me. “How do you do that?” she asked, softly. “Do what?” I replied, shrugging. “Be the sweetest little baby ever, that’s what.” I felt my cheeks burning as I looked back up to see her smiling at me. “I… shush…” “You’re too sweet, you know that? But don’t worry. I’ll get a light swat on the wrist or something. Just… don’t call me Rachel in here, okay? Stick with Ceres.” “Okay… Ceres.” “Good boy,” she said, before sighing heavily. “Sorry your Christmas was ruined.” “Pff. I hate Christmas anyway.” “You ‘hate’ Christmas?” she asked, seeming genuinely shocked and upset by this. “Yeah… I just… don’t like the season anymore…” “Since your Mum?” “Exactly.” “Oh hun. Next year… Next year I’m going to make it extra special for you.” “You really don’t have to, Ceres. I’m fine.” “Nope. Too late. Already forming a plan… deal with it, kiddo…” I smiled back at her, feeling… safe? I think that’s the right word. She makes me feel comfortable and not on edge. Most people make me feel anxious when I’m around them, but Ceres… she was… safe. “What will happen to Jack?” I asked. “Well it seems the hypnosis we’ve been playing to him hasn’t worked as intended. Otherwise we wouldn’t have had to use the tasers yesterday. So… him, Frankie and Harry will be getting… intensive treatment.” “That totally doesn’t sound ominous… What is ‘intensive treatment’?” “The boys may not be themselves so much when they come back after New Year…” “Okay, that’s not helping… if anything it’s making me more scared. I thought this place was to help people, not just rewrite their brains?” “Don’t worry, we aren’t overwriting anything. Just… putting the mean boys in their cages inside their brains. Over time they’ll become better, but during that time they’ll be a lot more… compliant. Just don’t be worried when they are drastically different after New Year.” I didn’t like what she was implying with ‘cages inside their brains’. That felt very much like they’d still be aware of what they were doing, but they’d be powerless to do anything about it. But… but maybe that’s needed? Clearly the program isn’t helping them so far. Thinking about it… has it helped any of us yet? I guess it’s too early to tell. It’s not like we’re in a position to drink or smoke or take drugs or shoplift or whatever… so it’s not like we know if we’d still be tempted by our past or not. Like take me for example… sure, I’m happier than I have been in a long time. But if they were to send me out into the world right now… would I want to continue living? Probably not. Not if Ceres, Ella and Ollie weren’t in my life. But then I guess the existence of those three have given me a reason to stick around a little longer. Is that really the program working though? Or did it just provide the connections I needed to tether me to this existence? I guess I wouldn’t know for a while… January So… this month was a bit of a weird one. Ella has been clingy again with me, as has Ollie. But neither of them will talk about their interest in me. I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried to hint towards talking about them possibly being interested in me… you know… romantically… but I’m useless when it comes to that. I didn’t want to rock the boat though, I had two really close friends who loved hanging out with me in the playroom. I didn’t want to cause drama or make it uncomfortable by bringing up the whole ‘liking me’ thing… so I kept shush after a week and stopped trying to hint at it, and just accepted the fact that maybe we’ll just be friends for now. If they want to initiate something, they can. If they’re too scared… then I guess we’re not meant to be. That wasn’t the highlight of January though… Jack was. Jack and his goons were brought in a week into January, as apparently they needed a bit more time with their new ‘treatment’. The whole time Jack wasn’t there, Rowan was so happy to have the nursery all to himself, he told me he was much happier with Jack gone, even if that wouldn’t last. So I saw him exert the biggest sigh humanly possible when the Nannies said Jack was coming back to the playroom today… and back to his nursery. But Rowan’s displeasure didn’t last long. About as long as it took for Jack to crawl through the door from the boys section of the playroom… “Oh… my… god…” Maria cried out in shock. “Is that…?” “Hewwo…” Jack said, parking his extremely padded backside down across from our group, waving at us with the biggest, dumbest smile on his face. “Is that… Jack… are you still… you?” Rowan asked, nervously. “Uh huh! I good boy now! Dey help me wif all deh pwoblems… now I baby wike you!” “I mean… even we aren’t as babyish as that…” I said, dumbfounded. Ceres did say he was gonna be different, but I wasn’t expecting… this. He just sat there, in a nappy that looked like it was three or four times thicker than any of the ones we had ever been put in, with blue plastic pants over the top of it, wearing nothing above the waist except for a bib that said ‘I got my brain drained and all I got was this stupid bib’ (which was in very poor taste). Drool dripped from the edge of his mouth, the same mouth that looked to be filled with a ridiculous-looking oversized blue dummy… And on his head… was a matching blue bonnet. He looked just like how all the cartoon characters I had grown up watching looked whenever they dressed as babies. Like this was baby. I’m just glad they didn’t do this to all of us as standard. I’m glad it’s only reserved as a punishment for the most serious offenders. Because this… this was actually scaring me. The power they have… If you had told me people had the power to brainwash you and regress you like this with it… I would’ve said you were paranoid or crazy. At least before coming here I would have said that… Maybe… maybe I should’ve taken Ceres’ offer of an early exit… because who knows what an organisation like this really does with the people it takes… February So Frankie and Harry had the same treatment as their leader, but Frankie was often wearing a matching green baby outfit and Harry’s was yellow. They looked somewhat adorable, and I must admit… I kinda preferred them this way. I know it’s cruel but… maybe a part of me didn’t want them to have this treatment reversed… They joined in conversations, though they sounded a lot more infantile and didn’t understand a lot of the bigger topics we talked about. They were very much baby-brained at this point. They played games with us, watched stuff with us… it was… nice? We actually got along with them, with the girls even becoming a little protective of the defenseless regressed boys. Which… I hate to say… maybe I was a little jealous of. Anyway, February… It has been a month of treatment for them… and things were going well. Until my birthday. Similar birthday party to the ones we had had so far. Cake, party games, presents that were suitable for a toddler or a baby. I didn’t want to celebrate it, I never do… but Ella and Ollie seemed extra excited about it… as did Ceres. Maybe… just maybe… I didn’t hate it as much as previous birthdays. They definitely made me feel special that day. March Another month of this ‘treatment’ for Jack, Harry and Frankie. So we made the most of it by enjoying what peace we could before the boys got their adult brains back. Who knows if they’ll have learned their lesson. Maybe they get worse? I guess we’ll find out next month. But yes, we went through the same usual routine. Wake up, nurse, change, play, feed, nap, play, nurse, change, sleep. Over. And over. And over. And over again. It was mind numbingly boring. It was only the connections and interactions I had with the others that kept me going, that kept me from regressing into what Jack and the boys have become. Because without any adult stimuli like our conversations… my mind would have turned off by this point. But maybe that’s just how this program works? They remove all adult stimuli, all temptations, all bad influences… start over from scratch. Why they don’t mentally regress us like they did with Jack, I don’t think I’ll ever find out… but whatever the reason that is… I’m glad. This is enough for now. I don’t think I could handle being mentally regressed like that. I have found myself acting more… childish? Maybe even a little infantile? I’ve noticed it a lot with the others. Just little ways they act a bit bratty, or they do something childish like stick out their tongue… I asked Ceres about this, and obviously she couldn’t tell me outright, but I’m pretty sure she hinted at it having something to do with the hypnosis. So I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re still pumping subliminal messaging into our nurseries whilst we sleep, making us regress, albeit a lot less than what they did to the regressed boys. Which… I’m not happy about… but what can I do? I opted to stay. And it seems to be helping. Nappies are just normal to me. I genuinely can’t even remember the feeling of underwear. And I don’t really want to… which is the part that worries me a bit. But I trust Ceres. This is to help us. We’re going to be better after this. Right? April The boys had their brains rewired again. Or whatever reverse hypnosis treatment that was required to bring them back to their adult selves. Their outfits changed back to the usual onesies and shortalls too, no more bibs and bonnets. Nappies were down to a single layer too. Everything reverted. Their personalities… didn’t. Mostly. Ceres wasn’t lying when she said they’d be back as better people after this ‘intensive treatment’, they were not the rowdy, intimidating guys that threatened us all and scared the Nannies. No… they were back to their quiet, timid selves hiding in the jungle gym… which meant it was back to being off limits for us all. Not that we cared much, most of the time we were huddled around the TV, often playing with toys or colouring. It was nice being part of a friend group like this. It’s a shame the treatment didn’t fix the boys completely, it was nice having them with us for those couple of months. May The babyish behaviour we exhibited was getting more noticeable the further into the year we were getting. We genuinely were often acting like toddlers… sometimes even babies. I swear I caught Rowan babbling a bit one time whilst he played with blocks. Were we just finally letting go and embracing it all… or was the hypnosis affecting us more and more as time went on? I guess I won’t find out until it’s all over… or unless Ceres decides to divulge more. Guess I should give a bit more of an update as to me… and my relationships. Me… well I’m managing. My mental health still isn’t really improving. Joy has been helping keep me grounded, she’s helping a lot keeping me optimistic that this is all going to help me in the end… but I still struggle with the thoughts… I’ve pushed all thoughts of what happened last year to the back of my mind. ALL thoughts. Especially Halloween and Christmas. And thoughts about who I really am. Even if I don’t know who that is. I guess I don’t really know who I am anymore. I’m just… existing… waiting for things to get better… waiting for this ‘treatment’ to fix me… If that can even fix me in the first place… I think the things that happened last year made it clear my issues are a little more complex than they first thought. But right now, I buried those thoughts as deep as possible, hoping they wouldn’t come back stronger like they often did. But hey, my friendships with everyone have gotten so much better over the past few months. Maybe not with the regressed boys… but the girls seem to really love spending time with me. They treat me like I’m one of the girls… which isn’t helping the feelings I’m trying my best to suppress. Ollie has been super clingy lately. So clingy in fact that Ceres got rid of the two separate cribs… and just got one big one for the both of us, as Ollie was struggling to sleep well when he was on his own. He still loves to cuddle me at night, but he still won’t talk about any potential feelings he has for me. Not that I’m going to push him… I’m not going to open my mouth and ruin things like I usually do. I’m okay with how everything is, I don’t want to spoil it by asking him how he feels about me. Ella is the same, though obviously she’s limited to the times in the playroom we’re together. I’m getting better at learning sign language thanks to our lessons with Vesta, and I’ve noticed Ella gets very clingy with me during that hour every day. Ceres has been showing more and more affection lately too, even going so far as to cuddle with me on the rocking chair, holding me in her arms as she sings a little. Ollie was asleep already for this, thankfully, otherwise I think Ollie would’ve gotten jealous. Not because he isn’t getting the same treatment… but because I was getting close with Ceres. He’s already a bit defensive around Ella… I don’t want him getting defensive around our Nanny just because Ceres may or may not be interested in me. But again… not rocking the boat. Months later… It was a pretty uneventful summer. We never got to experience the cold of winter or the meltingly hot summer that we’d normally experience on the outside… the temperature in here was controlled so it was always perfectly average. So there wasn’t any need for paddling pools or water guns or anything. Just usual boring baby stuff. Naps, changes, nursing, playing. Same crap every day. And summer is even more boring because there’s no special days like Halloween or Christmas. The most we could hope for was a birthday party, of which we got a few. Seems like we have a lot of summer babies in here. As for relationships… nothing changed. I’m still too scared to open up or talk about it with any of them. They don’t initiate anything. We just stay good friends. Everything stayed the same. Well not everything… We were all very much in a toddler mindset at this point. Even our conversations were mostly about toys or our childhood memories or kids movies or whatever. Very rarely did we even have an adult conversation. “So…” “Yeah?” I replied, looking up at a very excited Ceres from our crib. “It’s the end of August. You’ve all been very good little boys and girls…” “Are we moving up a year?” Ceres’ face dropped and she stared at me, sighing. “Noah… do you really have to spoil the surprise?” I looked to Oliver, who was sitting next to me in the crib, and he just shrugged. “I thought it was obvious too…” “You two are no fun…” Ceres said, rolling her eyes at us both. “But you love us anyway…” I joked. Ceres’ face turned red suddenly, and she quickly looked away, opening the closet. “Right. I’m going to get you both dressed, then you’re going to your first year graduation assembly!” ====================================================== A bit of a time skip, but honestly I didn't know of a way to do this without it feeling even more jarring. Being a baby 24/7 is boring! It's the same thing over and over again, and outside of a few things happening, it would have made for a boring story. I just hope that this time skip isn't too bad and you enjoyed it! Second year starts later this week! (and thats when the real story starts! ) Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday!Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post. And it goes without saying, my story is not to be used in any way to create AI work. Thanks!

Chapter 24: Christmas Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Tw: Homophobic Slurs ------------------------------- Ollie and Ella came back shortly after… and so did Ceres. Watching her walk in… I saw her in a completely different light now that I knew she liked me. Or… at least people think she likes me. Which is apparently enough for my whole feeling around her to change. She settled Oliver next to me on a bean bag, before looking up at me and smiling. “What is it? Do I have something on my face?” she asked me, wiping at her cheeks for something that wasn’t even there. “No… just… happy you brought me here,” I replied. She began blushing as she stood back up. “Oh hun, I’m glad. I think you’re really doing well. Joy told me you’re responding well to your sessions.” “She did, huh?” Honestly… I don’t know what the point of those ‘therapy’ sessions is. It doesn’t seem to be helping. It’s the same crap that I’ve had to explain to every single therapist and counsellor I’ve seen in the past. I talk about my feelings, I hide my biggest shame, they make a few suggestions… and nothing changes. Yes, I know, hiding my biggest secret from them probably isn’t helping. But they wouldn’t know about that thing. They’d be as clueless as the specialists. Yes, I’ve done research. I’ve seen how shit it is for people like… like… I guess people like me… it’s still weird saying that. But yes, I trust Doctors and specialists as far as I could throw them, and I’m not very good at throwing. At least Joy doesn’t want me on any medication in here. I suppose regression is the treatment. “Yeah. She’s optimistic!” ‘More than I am…’ I thought to myself as I put the same fake smile on for her as I had for everyone in the past. “Right, are you ready for your presents?” Oh yeah… presents… with the whole ‘Ceres may like me’ thing, I had completely forgotten the reason we were all grouped together. A few seconds later, Jack and his goons were made to crawl into the main playroom, and they didn’t look happy about it. They sat near the wall and the rest of us were made to sit in a big circle as a familiar character walked past the perspex window. “Is that… did they seriously get a guy to dress up as Santa?” Harry sighed. “What are you talking about, little one? That is Santa!” Ceres said, smiling at the guy, who looked as unimpressed as the rest of us. “We know we did a Secret Santa. Just give me my present so I can go back to the other room…” “Alright grumpy gus…” Sophia giggled. “Okay little ones, quiet…” the room came to a silence within a few seconds, the Nannies really did hold so much power over us, they had trained us well so far and it wasn’t even half a year in! “We’re going to go around the room and give you your present. No one is to say who got who a gift. There is no indication as to who your Secret Santa was.” “I thought normally you’d reveal it at the end?” Maria spoke up. “Not here we don’t. So don’t reveal. I know you may know who your nursery partners’ gift is for, and they may know yours, but you’re not allowed to share that with anyone else, understood?” “Yes Nanny Ceres…” we all said together, like drones… just like we used to at school. “So… firstly…” They went around, giving presents out one by one, waiting for the previous person to open and react to theirs before handing out the next one. It was mostly just teddy bears, colouring books, toys… you know… the sort of stuff we already have access to here… but then what else are we supposed to get each other? It’s not like we have any games consoles in here or we can wear jewellery… and I think Ceres would put me over her knee if I asked if I could get Jack a bottle of whiskey or something. Then… it got to Ollie. He opened it to reveal yet another stuffed toy, though this one had ‘Noah’ stitched onto its chest. “I guess someone thought you couldn’t always have Noah to snuggle with…” Ceres said, giggling. Everyone else quickly followed suit and the whole room, even Jack and that lot, were all laughing at poor Ollie. Thankfully, aside from the extremely red cheeks indicating his embarrassment… he took it all in stride and thanked whoever got him it. I… I didn’t know how to feel. I mean… Ceres must have let it slip that he sleeps in my crib and snuggles me, because unless Ollie told someone else when I wasn’t around… which is unlikely… I had never shared that information with anyone. Not even Ella. Next… was my present. I quickly tore at the wrapping paper with excitement… removing layer after layer of this perfectly wrapped box. It wasn’t a big box, it was about the size of a wallet, but whatever was inside it was getting me feeling as giddy as I used to, back when I was a kid and I’d rush downstairs with my Mum to see a mountain of presents on the sofa and around the tree. When Mum was gone… Dad just didn’t give a shit about Christmas. We were lucky we even had a tree up most years. He’d give me a bit of money in a card and that’s it. No dinner, no presents, no Christmas spirit. Christmas died with my Mum. But this… this was actually bringing back that feeling I used to feel as a little kid. I didn’t care what was in the box, I was just happy that the festive spirit within me hadn’t died completely. Once the wrapping paper had been taken off completely, I opened the box slowly to find… a hair clip? This wasn’t just a normal hair clip though, this was a very decorative one. Nothing expensive, it wasn’t one that an adult would wear, it was very much a childish design intended for a small child or toddler, but it was made out of a silver metal and had a little blue metal flower on it. “Why…?” Did someone know my secret? Am I that obvious? Did I say something that outed me? I… I… I… “HAHA! LOOK AT THE LITTLE POOF!” Jack taunted from across the circle. “Jack… this is your first and only warning…” Ceres replied, sounding extremely scary right now. “Now you don’t have to keep tucking your hair behind your ear!” Sophia said, laughing a little, breaking the tension in the air. “Huh?” I replied, confused. “You do that a lot…” Ollie quickly added, laughing along. “I do what?” “Your hair… it always… gets in… face…” Ella replied, smiling over at me. “You tuck… behind ear.” “I do?” Honestly… I had never noticed this. Sure, my hair does get in my face a lot… but do I really tuck it all the time? Was it really that noticeable? “That’s my fault. The other boys get their hair trimmed every month or two… but I think the longer hair suits you, and I’d feel bad cutting your beautiful hair… so I let it grow,” Ceres said, shrugging and smiling at me. My nerves began to calm a bit. If everyone had noticed how much my hair has been bothering me, then maybe this isn’t a sign of someone knowing my biggest secret. I doubt there are many hair clips designed for boys… especially childish ones. “I… thank you… whoever got me this…” I said, using it to clip my hair back, getting it out of my face. It wasn’t much… but this small femme item filled me with something I could only describe as… joy. I had heard of gender dysphoria. I had also heard of gender euphoria. I had experienced the former for most of my life. But this… this is what that second one must feel like. Because as soon as I clipped it back… I felt a surge of… wholeness. Ella was next. She opened it and found the unicorn stuffie Ollie had gotten her… the one I picked out. Problem was… I’m pretty sure she thought it was me who got it for her, because as soon as she hugged it tightly, her eyes welled up with tears and she looked at me… and smiled. “Thank you…” she signed to me. I know I should have corrected her… but we weren’t supposed to tell who got who gifts. And… I guess technically I did pick it out for her, even if it was Ollie’s present for her. Thankfully Ceres moved it along, making the next person unwrap theirs, then the next, then the next… It was going smoothly. Everyone seemed to love their presents. Then it got to Jack. Hastily unwrapping his present, I was terrified at his reaction. I mean… What was there to hate? It’s a remote control car… surely out of everything I could’ve picked in here… he can’t hate that, right? Wrong. I couldn’t have been more wrong. But then… I don’t think I could’ve ever picked anything that wouldn’t have set him off. Because as soon as he unwrapped his present, he looked at the car and then looked up, staring daggers at every single one of us in the circle. “THE FUCK IS THIS?” he roared, making me tremble in fear a little. I couldn’t handle people raising their voices. Especially not men like him. My Dad did that enough. So I winced and shuffled back a bit. “Jack… calm down now… or else,” Ceres warned. Jack wasn’t listening right now. Jack was gone. Jack was sitting back and relaxing as the monster inside him took over his body. Whatever niceness was in that boy… if there is any in there… was taking a backseat right now. “OR WHAT, BITCH?” Harry and Frankie got involved, climbing to their knees, punching their open palms. “Ladies… help in here… code red…” she said, loudly enough to get the attention of the Nannies outside. Seconds later, an alarm was blaring and a flashing red light filled the playroom. Jack knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the increased strength of Ceres. So he quickly turned around and grabbed the TV that was nearby, forcefully knocking it over onto the ground, then grabbed a large plant pot and threw it at my Nanny. “Jack… calm… now…” Minerva warned him. “And you two as well…” Juno warned the two morons that Jack called friends. “OR WHAT?” they replied, sounding like wounded animals. “YOU KEEP US LOCKED UP IN HERE, FORCE US TO SHIT OURSELVES. YOU THINK THIS WILL MAKE ME CHANGE? I’M NOT ENDING UP LIKE THAT LITTLE FUCKING SISSY!” Jack screamed, pointing at me with one arm. “Jack… this is your last warning…” Ceres said, calmly, trying to defuse the situation. He grabbed the DVD player out from under the TV and yanked it out, ripping out the cables, and went to throw it at one of the Nannies… but they were prepared. Before he could even get it over his head, one of the Nannies pulled her taser and shot it at the guy, pulling on the trigger, causing the muscular guy to crumple to the floor, dropping the DVD player and causing it to smash on the ground… Two other Nannies did the same with the other two boys, causing them to crumple to the ground and start squirming about. Security rushed in moments later, taking over the situation and pinning the two boys to the ground, handcuffing their hands behind their back. As they did this, the Nannies turned around and quickly rushed over to their pairs, scooping us up and holding us in their arms, hushing and bouncing us to try and calm us down as we were all still on edge from what had just happened. Ceres grabbed Ollie, then grabbed me, and carried us off towards the boys’ section of the playroom, heading straight through it, going in the direction of the nurseries. “Come on babies… let’s get you safe… let security take it from here…” she whispered to us as we rushed past our usual security guard, back towards our nursery. For the next hour or so, Ceres stayed in the nursery with us, sitting in her rocking chair. She had placed Ollie in my crib, but it was way too early to sleep or even nap, so we just sat there… awkwardly… Sure, we tried getting her attention, but she said not right now. She has to handle this mess. So as she worked away on her tablet, no doubt discussing with the other Nannies what just went down… I cuddled with Ollie, wondering what would happen to those three boys after what Jack just did… Some Christmas this turned out to be. Maybe… Maybe I’m just not meant to have a good Christmas. ====================================================== Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

But what about the other one? 🤭 Thank you so much for not only this lovely compliment, but also for reading my stories in the first place! I'm so happy you're enjoying this, and it makes me very happy to hear you're enjoying my monstrum series too! 😊

Chapter 23: Christmas Eve Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Another month passed by. I still missed walking. Crawling was… fun… but I definitely missed using my legs properly and actually walking around. It was a lot quicker, and a lot less exhausting. I also missed using the potty. Sure, this was like nearly four months into my stay here, and I hadn’t seen, let alone used a potty the whole time. I was used to nappies at this point. Changes still made me blush, but by now it was just routine. Still missed using the potty though. Ugh. Potty. Even my language has been dumbed down here. Potty. Peepee. It was like I really was just an infant learning to talk when saying specific words. Early in December the Nannies got all excited, as one day we got wheeled into the playroom and suddenly everything looked very… festive. I used to be a very festive person… but when I lost my Mum… the magic of Christmas just kinda went with her. I’ve mostly just endured Christmas since, putting on my fakest smile so I didn’t ruin everyone else’s Christmases. So when they said we’d be celebrating it in here… I put on that same fake smile and went along with it. Apparently we’ll all be wearing festive baby clothes throughout the month, hence why I’ve worn a ridiculous amount of red and green onesies whilst crawling around the playroom. We’re also doing a Secret Santa thing, but we haven’t been given any details about it until today… and we’re already halfway through the month! Christmas age-appropriate movies on the TV, Christmas music coming from the speakers all day long… Everyone else seemed to love it… everyone except me. Even Jack and his goons were enjoying it, they seemed cheerier than usual, having moved out of the play gym area finally… and moving back into the boy’s only section. They quickly established that as their own private area, and have never once come out into the main playroom… which I am one thousand percent okay with. Especially as it meant we could finally get a turn with the centre of the playroom. They did seem to be following the rules a bit more, actually engaging with the program or treatment or whatever you want to call it. I even saw them colouring in some times. Though never with us, always by themselves. I don’t know what the Nannies did to scare them into obedience, but it was working, whatever it was. Because it seemed like it was just… overnight. Such a drastic change made me wonder if they had played with their mind or something… which was scary. But at the same time, I was just glad they weren’t expected to play with us, because right now… I don’t want anything to do with those morons. Everything got cheerier… happier… Everyone had accepted their place here. Everyone knew there was no chance at escape, it had been nearly four months now… and there was no gap in their security. Especially not when the Nannies could probably bench press a car. Everyone was enjoying this festive time. Especially Ollie and Ella. Both of them were feeling really festive, really getting into the Christmas spirit. Both of them… being really distant with me since Ella’s birthday. Ella and I still talked a lot during the day, trying our best to talk in sign so I could get better at it. Nanny Vesta moved my daily lesson to just before our afternoon nap, and Ella joined us. But the whole time… Ella seemed… distant. Like she didn’t want to get too close to me. Like she was scared of me. Well, not of me… but of getting too attached to me. We were still close friends, but we hadn’t touched since her birthday and I felt a little… rejected. Ollie was even worse. He has been so distant with me it’s like he’s on another planet. He’s friendly enough, but he talks to me like we aren’t close friends, often keeping his distance, often focusing his attention on Rowan or the girls rather than me. I know that really I should confront both of them, I should discuss this with them both and find the root of the problem and try to fix it. It’s probably a simple fix too, or a simple discussion. But there’s no way I can confront them. And they aren’t bothering to talk to me… so I’ve just been kinda… distant to everyone the past month. Doesn’t help that all this Christmas bullshit is making me feel even more lonely. “So, Noah… You’ve got Jack for Secret Santa,” Ceres said, in my nursery, with just the two of us here. The Nannies had taken each person throughout the day, taken them to their nurseries, and discussed what possible gift we would like to give for Secret Santa. At least I assume that’s why everyone left, as no one talked about it when they returned, and I only realised when Ceres brought me in here and told me this. “Really?” I whined. “Don’t sound too happy about it…” All I could do at that point was sigh. “You know what he’s done, right? And now I have to get him a fucking gift?” “Language. And yes. Because it’s Christmas.” “Christmas fucking sucks.” Oops. Seems as if my bad mood may have just earned me my first punishment in here… “Sweetie… you know you’re not allowed bad language in here. I’ll let you-” My anger and frustration with everything going on in the past month, along with my feelings about this time of year all culminated in one big outburst. “WHY? WHATS THE FUCKING POINT?” Ceres’ eyebrow quickly raised. And I knew I was in trouble. I could barely sit down. I had never been spanked like that before. To be honest… I don’t think I had ever been spanked before. Like… at all. And after apologising profusely, tears and snot covering my face, I planned to never earn another one again. She had thrown me over her lap so quickly, I barely had any time to react, as she pulled down my soggy nappy, exposing my bare arse, and she quickly gave me ten swats on each cheek. I was crying by swat number three. “Are you going to stop swearing, Noah?” she said as she held my arms, with me just standing there with my nappy hastily pulled back up. “Y… yes… s… s… sorry…” I mumbled, all the while sobbing my eyes out, wiping away the snot from my face. “Sorry what?” “S… sorry Nanny…” “Good boy. Now, can we discuss what we’re going to get Jack for Secret Santa like grown ups, I do I have to regress you further?” “There… there’s further than… this?” “Oh sweetie… of course there is. How do you think Jack and the others started to behave?” Shit. How? When? Like… if it got them in line… it must be bad, right? Surely she wouldn’t stoop to those measures… not when I’m good most of the time? This was just a one time outburst. Either way… I’ll definitely be watching my language from now on. In the end, I asked them to get Jack a remote control car from me. Sadly, because of the age we were currently at, or at least being treated as, it meant that the car was rather… babyish. It wasn’t one of those cool ones I had always wanted as a kid. But I think he’ll still appreciate it. It’s better than a teddy bear or a colouring book, especially when I don’t even know him very well. Shortly after picking out my gift, there was a knock at the door. “Hey Ceres…” it was Minerva… holding Ollie in her arms, his legs wrapped around her waist just like a baby. “Oh hey… what’s up?” “It’s nearly feeding time, and it’s Ollie’s turn to pick out a gift for Secret Santa. Figured I’d bring him in, you done with Noah?” “Yeah. Had a little… outburst… from him, but he’s decided.” I felt guilty as the two talked about me as if I wasn’t there. And the pain radiating from my backside still reminded me of my little ‘outburst’. “Want me to take him while Ollie picks?” Minerva suggested. “Nah, it’s okay. Noah can stay. Ollie didn’t get him for Secret Santa, so I’ll just let Noah rest in the crib for a while until I feed them.” “You sure? I better go get my two, no doubt they’re up to all sorts of mischief…” “I’m sure. You go feed your two.” “Talk to you later! And Noah? Be a good boy for Ceres, okay?” I nodded at Minerva, who quickly walked out the door, smiling at me. “You could get her a teddy bear?” Ceres suggested to my nursery-mate. “I guess…” Ollie replied to our Nanny, who was clearly getting fed up with Ollie’s indecision. They had been looking for a good twenty minutes now, and Ceres had suggested lots of good gifts Ollie could get for Ella, but Ollie couldn’t decide on a single one. Teddy bears, onesies, toys, colouring books… Ollie wasn’t sure what to get her. It wasn’t like he needed it to be special either, he didn’t care that much if it was special to her or not, he just wasn’t very good at deciding. Apparently he’s ‘terrible at getting presents for people’, which is clearly true. I had been watching from the crib the whole time, and it was annoying me just how indecisive he is. Like… I’m bad… but Ella… Ella was easy to get for in comparison to Jack. “Noah…” Ollie whined, finally talking to me like he used to before Ella’s birthday. “What do I get that girl? You know her best.” “Is there anything unicorn themed in there?” I asked, as I only got to see the boy’s section. “Why? Does she like unicorns?” “Didn’t you see what I got her for her birthday? Yes, she likes unicorns…” I replied, rolling my eyes at the clueless boy. “There’s… unicorn socks?” “Anything else?” “A unicorn stuffed animal? It’s pink.” “Perfect.” “Thanks mate…” I hated being called ‘mate’. Same with ‘dude’. Despite what everyone says… it’s such a masculine term. There’s nothing ‘gender neutral’ about it when it’s used by a guy. So as the words passed his lips, my whole body began to shiver. And not in a good way. “It’s… okay,” I replied, trying to pretend it didn’t bother me. He smiled up at me, and for the first time… it felt like he actually saw me as a friend again. So I returned the smile back. “Nanny?” he asked, turning to Ceres. “Yes, sweetheart?” “Can I sleep in Noah’s crib again tonight?” “Sure!” Even Ceres was taken a little aback by this. But I think she was as happy as I was about this development. Okay… so things improved with Ollie in the run up to Christmas at least. We were back to being close again, he was sleeping in my crib every other night, and he barely left my side in the playroom. Even the others commented about how awkward it was recently, but Ollie just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Ella though… she wasn’t any closer, despite our lessons and everything. She still kept herself emotionally distant from me. Which suuuuucked. It was afternoon playtime in the playroom, on Christmas Eve. We had already been fed and had our naps, and we were settled down, ready to go back to our nurseries to sleep soon so that ‘Santa’ could deliver our presents. I mean… despite how we’re dressed, we’re still grown adults, none of us have believed in Father Christmas or Santa Claus in like two decades nearly. And then there’s the fact we’re doing a secret Santa thing… but apparently the Nannies want to ‘keep the magic’ or whatever. So as we sat there, all snuggled up in the bean bag chairs, watching a Christmas movie I remember from my childhood, I looked around to find both Ella and Ollie gone. “Where… where did they go?” I asked. “You zoned out again hun?” Ava asked, giggling slightly. “Ceres took Ollie for a change, and Ella went off with her Nanny to talk about something. No idea what though.” “I…” I think Ava is right, I must have zoned out during the movie because I don’t remember either of them getting taken. “I must have.” “D’awww… you worried about your girlfriend and boyfriend?” “I… what? No! They’re not…” Jess and Sophia leaned forward a bit. I think it was mostly Sophia doing the leaning, but because those two were practically joined at the hip, Jess kinda got brought along for the ride. “Hun… we’re not stupid. We’ve all seen the way you look at them. And we’ve seen the way all three of them look at you.” “I… no… wait… what? Three?” “What my very not-so-subtle girlfriend is saying, is that you seem to have three admirers…” Jess said, rolling her eyes at Sophia. “Three? Who… who’s the third?” I asked, confused. They both started giggling. But I genuinely had no idea who they were talking about. Unless… they mean… I mean… I know the old thing parents used to say… that boys would tease and bully girls they like… but I’m not… I’m… I’m a boy in here. Jack wouldn’t be interested in me… Unless… “Your Nanny…” Maria threw her voice into the conversation, though by the sound of it, and the sigh that followed, she couldn’t be bothered with any of it and just wanted it to be over. “Ceres? Wait… since when?” “Since always. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. None of our Nannies are like that with us. With the exception of maybe Juno with Jess and Sophia…” “Hey! We’re just extremely well behaved and she likes how cute we are together,” Jess then rolled her eyes at Maria. “Whatever. Anyway, yes…” Maria huffed, ignoring that last comment, and focusing her attention back on me, “Ceres clearly likes you. More than she lets on.” I… I didn’t know what to say. What to do. It was bad enough having two people liking me, all of us being too awkward to initiate anything… but to have three people liking me… What the hell do I do with this information? ====================================================== Ruh roh. Love quadrangle! Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! I said I put a lot of myself into this... and his way of thinking was very much how I started off. Now, like 8+ years into my transition, I agree with you, but back, well over 10 years ago... I thought I could put it off and off, until I nearly broke. When I say I put a lot of myself into this story, I really mean it Awww I'm sorry the monster series wasn't for you, but I'm glad you're enjoying this one! I don't know if you caught up with the non-monster ones I've written in between, but check them out if you haven't already.

Chapter 22: Awkwardness Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- So when Ella finally had enough hugs and got off of me, allowing me to breathe properly once again, I started looking around for Ollie. “What’s up?” Ella signed to me as she knelt beside me. “O-L-L-I-E…” it took me a while to sign each letter, I’m still slow at spelling things out like that, but I got there in the end.” Ella just shrugged and looked around the playroom for any sign of Ollie. That’s when Vesta walked over, picked Ella up effortlessly, and checked her nappy in one swift motion. “I think the birthday girl needs a change… I’ll be right back!” “I’m sure he’s fine,” Maria said, patting me on the shoulder. “I think he’s jealous…” Ava commented. “Jealous?” I asked, confused. “Hun… I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” “Yeah, he’s like my best friend here.” “It’s more than that. I just don’t think either of you have recognised it yet.” “What do you mean? That he… he’s interested in me?” “Well duh!” Poppy said, adding to the conversation. “I mean… he does get quite clingy around you…” Rowan added. “But he’s not gay…” I replied. “Are you?” Poppy asked. “I… I’m not sure what I am.” “You totally are! Called it! Poor Ella…” Maria teased. “Hey no! I like girls!” I whined. “Are you straight then?” “I… umm… maybe?” “Don’t tease him, Maria… maybe he’s just bi but he hasn’t realised it yet. Took me a while before I realised I was into girls…” Sophia replied, shrugging it off as if it's not a big deal. “No forcing anyone to out themselves either… or I’ll tell one of the Nannies…” Maria’s face dropped and she looked genuinely guilty the moment Sophia’s voice turned stern. “Eeeep! I… sorry…” “Hey, it’s okay! I… don’t know what I am,” I replied, lying through my teeth. I know who I am. I just haven’t accepted it yet. And the more I’m down here… the more I’m realising I was in denial the whole time. Not just about my sexuality… but… the main thing… Not that that changes anything. I still won’t do anything about it. Not here anyway. This place is for healing. I’d get better… then maybe I’d decide what I want to do about all that stuff. Maybe… maybe it’s just my depression wishing for a better life, one where I’m not… me. I won’t know for sure until I’m in a better place and can figure things out with a clear head. And as I went over those reasonings for being a coward… I hated myself a little more as I realised I sounded just like all those arseholes trying to control the narrative and trying to push conversion therapy on people like me… Thankfully, I was brought out of my own head when Ceres walked past. “Nanny?” I called out. She stopped mid-step and turned to me. “Oh hey baby, what’s up?” “Have… you seen Ollie?” “Sure, kiddo. He came over to me and asked to go for an early nap and some quiet time in your nursery. I just got back from getting him settled down.” “Is… he okay?” “Yeah, why wouldn’t he be?” “WE THINK OLLIE HAS A CRUSH ON NOAH!” Poppy shouted, excitedly. Ceres just grinned, then quickly turned on the spot. “VENUS?” Ceres said, rather loudly, alerting the other Nannies standing outside the main playroom. “Yeah?” Venus replied. “You owe me twenty quid!” I didn’t hear Venus’ reaction, but I’m pretty sure I saw her mouth the word ‘fuck’. “Huh?” “Just a silly bet the other Nannies placed at the start of the year.” “What kind of bet?” Sophia replied, sounding rather judgmental in her reaction. “I… nothing. Just a silly thing. Of who would get a crush on who whilst they’re down here…” Sophia and Jess both looked at her like they were disappointed. “Hey… I was rooting for you two…” Ceres said to me. “I figured you’d get a crush on Ollie, just not the other way around though… Still, I won! I bet on my pair, even if I got it the wrong way round.” Everyone rolled their eyes at my Nanny, whilst I just sat there… dumbstruck. Like… she was actually predicting I’d crush on Ollie? Does… she think I’m gay? “What did the others predict?” I asked. “I… umm… I’d rather not say.” I could see her switching her gaze between me… and Ella. Then me… and Maria… Then me… and SERIOUSLY? DID THEY ALL THINK I’D HOOK UP WITH ALL THE GIRLS? I wish I was that good with women! Just because they talk to me lots doesn’t mean they’re all interested in me… right? “Wait… you think me and…?” Maria said, before turning to me. “Sorry hun, but you’re really not my type…” The rest of the girls all shook their heads in agreement… so now I’m not sure whether to see it as the biggest insult in my lifetime… or that I didn’t have all the pressure of multiple girls all wanting me. Ella though… Ella was awkwardly quiet. “Ceres… Can I go take a nap too?” I asked, sighing. This whole conversation was making me uncomfortable, I didn’t want Ella to feel put on the spot… and I was worried about Ollie. “You sure? You’ll miss out on the first movie…” Ceres replied, looking concerned. “Uh huh…” “Don’t worry girls, Noah will be back later for the second movie.” “I… hope… so…” Ella said, quietly to herself, thinking no one could hear her. As I was laying in the crib, I looked over to see Ollie fast asleep, with his back to me as he faced the wall in his own crib. “You okay sweetheart?” Ceres asked, quietly, as to not disturb Ollie. “Yeah… just… I wasn't feeling comfortable.” “Was it the bet?” Ceres looked… sad. Which instantly negated any ill will I felt towards her for the whole bet thing. Because everyone else's feelings always trump mine apparently. I can never just be upset… because if I am, they will feel bad… and I have to then comfort them, negating my feelings. Happens every fucking time. “It’s fine. Just a harmless bet,” I replied. “Sweetie… you’re suppressing your feelings, I can tell…” “Did… did you really think I’d have a crush on him?” “Do you not? I’ve seen the way you look at him. Sweetie, I’ve been with you most of the time over the past three months. I’ve seen how you bonded with him. Even early on I could tell you liked him more than you liked the other boys, even Rowan.” “I’m not gay though…” “Oh I know that too hun. I knew you’d bond with Ella too,” she said, trying to reassure me. “You did? How? How can you know all these things? You barely know me…” “I know you more than you think…” I laughed. “What, sweetie?” “Sure you do…” I sighed, knowing that she didn’t know everything about me. She knows me… the fake persona I put on for the rest of the world. She doesn’t know the real me though. No one does. Not even I do. “Sweetie, I’m good at reading people. I also like to think I know when people are going to hit it off together.” “Maybe so. But you don’t know everything about me.” Did… did I just say too much? “What don’t I know?” she asked. “I know you’re most likely bisexual. Or pan. Or demi. I figured it out from the start.” “What, are you like some walking gaydar?” I laughed, awkwardly. “What if I am? Or maybe… I just know from experience what it’s like…” “Are… are you bisexual?” I asked. “I am, yeah.” “When… when did you know?” “In my teens. When did you?” “I… didn’t.” “Oh…” she froze for a minute. “Oh hun… wait… had you not figured it out? I thought you did.” “Not until recently.” “So this is…?” “The first time admitting it… to another human being? Yes. Though I don’t actually know what I am.” “Well… I’m sorry for pushing it, hun. I didn’t mean to out you like that. I just… I thought you knew already. It was very obvious. To a lot of us here…” “Seriously? How many of you knew this before I did?” “Everyone but the other boys? Though people weren’t sure if you were gay or bi.” I mean… it’s a lot more complicated than that… but that just meant I could keep myself hidden a bit longer, get through this… then figure things out. “Well I think you have excellent taste. Ollie is a little charmer… and Ella is a hottie. Though you may have more luck with Ella, I’m not sure Ollie has quite come to terms with his attraction yet.” “I… has anyone dated before in here?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “Did any of the… babies... end up dating each other? Because I know Sophia and Jess are together, but they began their relationship outside of here and basically live together here… how does one even date if you’re not sharing a nursery? Not like I can take anyone for a meal somewhere…” “There have been a few relationships that started here.” “What happened to them, if I can ask that?” “One pair is happily married now. One pair broke up in here. One pair broke up on the outside.” “So mixed bag, huh? That doesn’t help…” “Sweetie, we are here to make better people. We aren’t a dating service. But we also know you are adults, despite how we treat you. And we know good relationships can help some people. So we do not forbid them here, but we will warn you early on that if it ends messily… you’ll be in constant contact with them for the next few years…” “So if we break up and it's bad… you can’t just move away… huh?” “Exactly. So if you want to start something with Ella… or with Ollie… you’ll have to be very careful, okay poppet? If you did, we would allow some freedoms that others may not have access to… provided you give us good behaviour and obedience in return.” “Obedience? That sounds a bit…” “Evil? Sorry, not my preferred phrase of choice. But it does instill the seriousness of what we require in return for freedoms.” “What kind of freedoms? If I can ask…” “We’ll allow you a date night every week. You will be alone… mostly…” “Cameras still on, I assume?” “Exactly. So no sex. But if you want to cuddle alone in your nursery, we can arrange that. Maybe put a movie on for just the two of you… that kind of thing. Maybe a nice romantic meal together… though you’d still be dressed as babies, and you’d have plastic cutlery. We can’t allow you to feel too bad, you’re here for rehabilitation after all.” “I’ll… keep that in mind. Maybe…” “Not wanting to ask either of them out?” “Too scared. Been burned before.” This… wasn’t a complete lie. I had been burned before, sure. But this wasn’t why I was too scared to ask either of them out. Rejection scared the crap out of me, even if it’s ‘assured’ they’ll say yes by everyone else. But it’s also rejection if things progress well… and I turn out to really be… you know… when I get out of here. What if I do accept that I’m that person, only to be rejected? Or what if they get out of here and realise that maybe I’m just a ‘regression institute boyfriend’, and that they’re no longer attracted to me? I don’t want to put in the effort, put so much of myself into the relationship to…” “Earth to Noah…” Ceres said in my ear. “I… oh… sorry…” I looked up at Ceres, who looked concerned. “You’ve been zoning out a lot. Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, sounding even more concerned. “Yeah.” “Okay… if you say so. But don’t forget… you’ll be seeing Joy from next week onwards.” “Huh?” “Remember I said you’d be having therapy sessions with her?” “Oh… that was ages ago. I didn’t want to mention it but…” “Sorry hun. Joy wanted you to spend a bit of time getting acclimated to this place before she started opening up your brain…” “So next week?” “Yup. Hour long appointment every week. You and Ella will both have one each. Anything you say to her will be private. If anything… it’ll be the only time in here that will genuinely be private. No cameras, nothing. She won’t even share anything you tell her to us, unless it’s of utmost importance, like if there was a danger to you or other people.” That… sounded nice. I did have a lot of stuff I wanted to talk about. To someone. Someone that wasn’t one of the people it involved. “Right, I’ll be back to check in on you both in an hour, okay sweetie? Don’t want you to miss Ella’s second birthday movie.” I nodded and smiled at Ceres. “Thank you,” I smiled at her. “For what, sweetie?” “For being so… understanding.” “Hey, you’re cute. I can’t help it.” Her smile… it was so… genuine. It made my chest feel all warm and fuzzy as she turned and walked out the door, closing it gently, leaving me in darkness, alone with my best friend in the crib opposite… and all these thoughts swirling in my head. ====================================================== Noah opens up a tiny bit, finally! Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Honestly so close to crying when I read this. This is the highest amount of praise, so thank you. That means so much to me. SO much. 😊❤️ I guess we'll have to see, but we're around 1/3 of the way through this story... so there's a lot more to go yet... and a lot can happen in even just a few chapters. So far my stories have helped people: Cry Laugh Feel little Feel subby Feel emotional Process terrible things going on in their lives When they're struggling I can officially add that my story has cracked eggs. What a list of accomplishments! I am so sorry for it, but I'm also so happy you've realised something about yourself and that my story could help you! Seriously, means so much to me. I wish you all the best as you figure things out and figure yourself out, whatever that may be. ❤️

Chapter 21: Complications Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- I think I fell asleep during the movie, because when I opened my eyes, I was being wheeled back to our nursery in our stroller. Rubbing my eyes, I shook my head to try to clear the cobwebs inside, and looked over to see Ollie twiddling his thumbs in the seat next to me. Ceres pushed us inside the nursery, closed the door, and turned the light on, before walking around the stroller and undoing the restraints. “Oh he’s awake!” she announced. “Did… did I sleep through the movie?” I asked as Ceres bent down and lifted me out of the stroller, holding me on her hip. “Yes hun. Both of you did…” Ceres giggled. “Both?” “You and Ella. You two looked so precious together. It was difficult getting you two apart from each other without waking either of you up!” “We… ahh…. Umm… we were…” “Snuggling? Yes. It was so cute!” Ceres squealed with joy. “Right… let's get you changed, then get you in the crib all snuggled up. “No… nursing?” “You’ve had your milk already, baby. And it's getting late for you both, so let’s get you out of your costume, followed by a quick nappy change, then off to sleep for the pair of you.” I blushed as she quickly stripped me of my costume, laid me down on the changing table and proceeded to untape my nappy, popping my dummy in my mouth when I wasn’t expecting it. --------------------------------------- “Aaaaand all changed!” she announced after finishing Ollie’s change. I was changed out of my costume and had my nappy changed, dressed in a cute blue footed sleeper, and put in my crib before she did the same to Ollie, picking him up out of the stroller and placed him on the changing table, popping his dummy in and quickly changing his very full nappy and dressing him in an identical sleeper. The whole time… he didn’t say a word. He was oddly quiet. I couldn’t help but worry that maybe I had said something or done something to upset him. Or maybe the movie was… umm… scary? Was it sad? Honestly I have no idea, I fell asleep before I could even see what movie it was. As Ceres lifted Ollie up, she was about to walk over to his crib when she stopped and leant her head forward a bit, as if Ollie was whispering something to her. “I mean… sure. If that’s what you want. And provided he’s okay with it. Want me to ask?” I saw Ollie nodding his head. “Noah?” Ceres asked, turning around. Ollie had his face firmly planted in Ceres’ shoulder, as if he was avoiding eye contact with me as I sat up in my crib. “Umm… yeah?” “Ollie would like to ask… if he can sleep with you in your crib tonight?” “I… umm…” I was a bit taken aback by this. Surely they wouldn’t have shown a horror movie. I know it’s Halloween, but they’re also treating us like babies… so surely it would have been something cute and not scary. So why would he want to sleep in my crib tonight? “It’s okay if you’d rather no-” “No! It’s okay! Sure. He can sleep with me… I mean… sleep next to me… I…” Ceres giggled as Ollie squirmed about in her arms and kicked his legs gently. “Come on then, scoot over…” Ceres said to me. Moving quickly to the side of the crib closest to the wall, as it was probably easier for her to lay him closer to the side that she’s at, I waited for my Nanny to place Ollie alongside me. I’d give him some space, so I rolled on my side so my back was to him. I figured he wouldn’t want me staring at him, and the crib isn’t that big… sure, we could lay side by side on our backs comfortably, but it was a little bit of a squeeze. I grabbed my side of my blanket and cuddled up into a little ball on my side as I felt a weight being placed on the bed beside me. “Right, you two be good. I’ve got some work to do. So get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning… Night night, sweethearts…” “Nini Nanny…” Ollie and I replied, our words muffled by our dummies, which still made us blush whenever we spoke out loud. As soon as the door closed and the light went dim so the room was only lightly illuminated, I lay there… awkwardly… not knowing what to say. I wasn’t used to having another person in my crib. I was used to watching him fall asleep on the other side of the nursery, not him being here with me, sharing the same blanket… Should I turn around? Should I say something? Should I ask why he wanted to sleep in here instead of his own crib? All these questions swimming around my head… and here I was just laying here, anxiously wondering which one should be asked first… if any. But before I could pick one, before I could decide anything… I felt something shuffling behind me. One foreign arm wrapped itself over me, whilst another one went under me, burrowing under my body. Wrapping themselves around me. As a warm, soft body pressed up against me from behind. And he began nuzzling my neck, getting himself comfortable. I wanted to ask why he was doing this. What he wanted. And why now of all times. But as I heard the faint snoring in my ear, I knew it was futile. I’d let him sleep. I wasn’t going to wake him up or disturb him. I… I kinda liked this anyway… So as my friend snuggled me from behind, spooning me, I let myself finally drift off back to sleep, wondering what all of this meant. -----------------------------Weeks Later-------------------------------- It has been a couple of weeks since Halloween now. Two weeks since I had cuddle sessions with both Ella AND Ollie. And neither one of them had brought it up or mentioned anything since. And I… being the useless, anxious piece of shit I am… couldn’t bring myself to bring it up to either of them. And what’s worse… is that that wasn’t a one off. Ollie now spends every other night in my crib, snuggling up with me. I want to ask, but I feel so fucking awkward asking him. I mean what do I even say? ‘Oh hey, why do you like to be the big spoon? Why do you like cuddling up with me? Do… Do you ‘like’ me?’ No… I can’t ask that! I tried skirting around the issue, dropping little hints to get him to open up about it, but he just acts as if it's no big deal. I mean sure, it’s not really. I really like cuddling him. Or at least him cuddling me, as it’s always me being the little spoon. Though one time I rolled over in my sleep and woke up with my head resting on his chest. Which felt so good… And Ella is no different! She’s been really affectionate with me, but she won’t talk about it. I feel like she’s flirting with me, but I’m useless at telling signs or doing anything about them, so I wait for others to make it extremely obvious. Maybe she’s as bad as me… which means we’ll never tell each other that we like each other and we’ll be stuck in this awkward friend zone forever, unable to admit our feelings. But maybe after today… that’ll be different. Because I’ve been preparing for this day for the past month. And Vesta says I’m ready for it. Her birthday. “What do you want to wear today for her birthday party?” “Can I wear my favourite dungarees?” I replied to Ceres, as she rummaged around the wardrobe that was embedded in the wall, only visible when she swiped her wrist across the scanner. “I think we can manage that. And you Ollie?” “T-shirt and jeans?” he joked, laughing awkwardly. “Want me to throw some big boy undies in too? Maybe some hair gel and some aftershave?” Ceres replied, playing along with him. “As if we even need aftershave here. You did something to our faces that prevented any hair growth!” he whined. That… was one thing I was massively appreciative of. Not having to worry about my facial hair or my body hair… It was like Christmas came early! Sure, the downside is that we don’t get any hair between our legs either… but hey, it’s not like I like looking down there anyway, so why do I care if I’m bare down there? I guess it’s more hygienic too for all these nappy changes. “Hmm… all out of undies it seems… how about a cute lion nappy and a pair of shorts with my favourite t-shirt for you?” Ollie sighed at this request. It wasn’t really a request, we all knew that. Ceres is nice enough to let us pick out our own clothes most of the time, but we know not to fight back if she really wants to dress us in something she likes. And the t-shirt in question… she really loved to see Ollie wearing it. The one that said ‘I’m perfect the way I am. The only thing that needs changing is my nappy’ on the front of it, along with a small picture of a cartoon nappy. You can see why she liked it by the blush on Ollie’s face right now. Grabbing the clothes needed for today, Ceres walked back over to the changing table, where I was sat, still restrained by the wrist supports so I didn’t fall off, but free enough that I could at least sit up. And as she walked up to me, laying the clothes down on the crib railing, she turned and did something I wasn’t expecting. She kissed me. Sure, it was a kiss on the cheek, but… she had never done that to me before. Forehead kisses are one thing… but cheek kisses? That made me instantly blush, my cheeks turning as red as Ollie’s were right now. This was the first birthday we’ve had since we were all taken, so none of us knew what to expect. If they went all out for Halloween, and I assume they’ll go all out for Christmas… I’m going to also assume that they do the same for people’s birthdays too… because think about it… they want to regress us, they want to turn back the clock and make us feel like babies again. What better way than a baby’s birthday party? I could already tell as we were wheeled towards the playroom that there would be decorations up, balloons everywhere… and they’d have a cake with like one candle on it. It’s extremely obvious. It’ll reinforce it in our heads that we’re only babies now, making us one or two at most, with everyone singing happy birthday. I just hope that Ella enjoys today… “Did you not get her anything?” Ollie asked as we went past the usual security guard. “I… I did…” I replied, nervously. He didn’t know I had been up an hour earlier for the past month or whatever just for Ella’s sake. I looked over to the other side of the stroller to see Ollie holding a little present in his lap. Ceres must have helped him pick it out. Or maybe he told her what he wanted to get Ella, then she and the higher ups procured it? Either way, I felt a little awkward, as my present wasn’t exactly something I could wrap up. Was I being cheap? Not that we have any money in here… it’s all covered by Elysium… but like… was I being lazy in not getting her a gift as well as this surprise? Too late now I suppose. At least I had had one last quick lesson with Vesta this morning. The last one I’ll ever have to get up early for hopefully… as she said that once Ella knows about my plan, she’ll arrange our lessons to include her at some point in the afternoon. “Here… I got you dis…” Rowan said, handing Ella a present. We had already played some party games at this point, the classics like pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, musical chairs… and then they brought in a huge cake… with, I guessed it, one candle. After Ella blew that out, we sat down in a big circle and she began receiving presents from one person at a time, making her way around the circle. I was last, seeing as I was sitting directly next to her and she had gone clockwise, the opposite direction from me. Her smile grew as she quickly tore into the wrapping paper. No doubt Rowan’s Nanny had wrapped it for him, as it looked extremely well wrapped… something I can’t see Rowan doing. “Fank you!” she said, hugging it to her chest, before showing it off to everyone as we all sat in a circle. It was a new colouring book, one that was unicorn themed. Ella looked so cute with her little pink baby dress and her little party hat on. We all wore those stupid little paper cone party hats, but I think only Ella pulled hers off. So far everyone had gotten her some various toys or stuffies or colouring books. I think Jess and Sophia got her some new crayons, Ollie got her a little stuffed bear. Even Jack and his lackeys were sitting with us today, by order of our captors. He was on his best behaviour, apparently, as he just sat there rolling his eyes every time Ella opened a present. I could see it on his face… he wanted to make snide comments every time she spoke aloud… and I wanted so desperately to dash over and shove his snide comments up his… Anyway… He held his tongue… so I held back my anger. At least he was nice enough to get her a new hair bow, though I assume that was his Nanny’s idea. I very much doubt Jack had any input or care about Ella’s birthday present. Now… it was time for my present… Ella turned to look at me, the last one left. God… I hope she appreciates this… I want to make her birthday special… “Noah, what did you get Ella for her first birthday?” Vesta asked, playing dumb, knowing full well what I had in store. I took a deep breath, worrying even more that I had fucked up as Ella started looking around for a wrapped present from me, but looked somewhat disappointed by the absence of any sort of gift. Turning to face her… my heart racing… I had to make this special. It had to be perfect. Raising my hands in front of me… ‘Ella…’ I signed. Her eyes, widened in shock, began tearing up. ‘Happy Birthday… I hope… you… have… a really… great… day…’ She quickly signed something back to me, but I only got a bit of it, it was so frantic and emotional, and with my limited knowledge, I only got ‘you’ and ‘me’ from it. ‘Sorry… I am… still learning…’ I signed back perfectly, as I knew it would be a phrase I’d probably be using a lot early on, so it was one of the first I learned. Ella, teary eyed, looked up at her Nanny, who signed something. Thankfully, she spoke along as she signed so everyone else could hear, mostly me. “Noah asked me for lessons. He wanted to learn this… for you…” Vesta said, and signed. The whole room gasped. Well, everyone except the three morons. Jess and Sophia even squealed, quickly followed by the rest of the girls. Even the Nannies joined in with the excitement. “So that’s why Vesta’s been busy…” Venus commented, giggling a little. Ella signed something back. I think she said ‘for me?’ though I worry I may be wrong. “Yes. He thought it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to beside me.” Ella turned back to me, the tears in her eyes had grown exponentially bigger in the past few seconds, as she quickly signed something I couldn’t make out… and pounced on me, kissing my cheek and hugging me tightly. I returned the hug, wrapping my arms around her, squeezing tightly. “So… she likes it?” I joked. “You’ll be lucky if she ever lets you go now… I’ve never seen her like this with anyone before,” Vesta replied, smiling at me as I lay on the floor, covered by this cute, affectionate girl. In the corner of my eye though… I saw someone crawling away as quickly as possible. Someone wearing a familiar, very embarrassing t-shirt. ====================================================== This was a chapter that made a few people cry. And I loved writing every minute of it :3 I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Chapter 20: Halloween Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- So in the end… I went with the vampire costume, so as to not raise suspicion. Every cell in my body hated myself for doing that, but what could I do? Tell everyone what I really am? Even though I myself am still not entirely sure? No… I can’t do that… So no, here I am, wearing this ridiculously babyish boys vampire costume, with Ollie next to me in the stroller wearing a white sheet over him with some eye holes cut out to make a really cheap looking ghost costume… as we’re wheeled into the playroom to join everyone else. As soon as we crawled into the main room, which was decorated in a ridiculous amount of Halloween decorations, I saw the girls already sitting by the TV, all dressed up in various children’s Halloween costumes. Jess and Sophia were, of course, in matching costumes, with Sophia dressed up as Bo Peep and Jess was one of her sheep. Maria was in a teddy bear footed sleeper with her face painted to make it look even cuter, Ava was wearing a little red riding hood costume, Poppy was wearing a Princess dress that I tooootally wasn’t jealous of… nooooope… And Ella… Ella looked just like Alice from Alice in Wonderland. She looked adorable. I crawled over slowly, finding a bean bag chair for myself and plopping my padded butt into it, relaxing comfortably, with Ollie doing the same. Then Rowan crawled over a few minutes later, wearing a ballerina costume, which instantly got all the girls going. “Lookin good!” teased Maria, giggling along with the other girls. Even Ollie and I couldn’t help but giggle. I mean… Rowan’s outfit even had a tutu… Then as we were all looking back at him, we saw the reason why he was dressed up like that… Jack. I swear, I was about to die from laughter. Big strong Jack… shoved very awkwardly into a ballerina costume complete with a frilly tutu… I suppose laughter is a better way to go than the way I had originally planned… “Why… are you both dressed like that?” Sophia asked, confused, trying to hold in her laughter. “Please don’t laugh too much…” Rowan blushed. “It was a deal we made. Jack… as you know… hasn’t been playing along. So they gave him a choice. Hypnosis… or wear something humiliating for Halloween that our Nanny picks out. He didn’t like what the hypnosis has been doing to him, so he opted for the latter. I… may have tried to offer a sign of peace… of camaraderie… and said I’d dress up the same if it made him feel any better…” Jack just continued crawling into the play gym in the centre of the room, his padded butt being fully on display, the leotard was doing nothing to hide the thick padding bulging through it. Then a couple minutes later… Two Princesses followed him into the gym, sulking the entire way… “I guess they got Frankie and Harry too…” I giggled. “Rowan… I think you look amazing!” Jess said. “Yeah, you rock it!” Maria added. I could see what the girls were doing. Lessening the humiliation for Rowan, because I mean… he was doing a nice thing. Sure, I still don’t think Jack is salvageable… I say good riddance to the guy, just let him flunk out, wipe his memory of this place existing, and let him go bother someone else. But then that’s just the memory of his fist hitting my jaw talking… I know in reality he deserves to be here probably more than most, but he was making everything uncomfortable, he was still a danger to me… and most importantly… I still wanted to play in the play gym! “So… Alice, eh?” I mumbled awkwardly to Ella. “I always wanted to dress up as Alice when I was a kid. And now I finally get to,” she wrote on her board. “Is Alice in Wonderland your favourite book then?” “Yeah! I love it so much. It was nice to escape to that book when I was a kid, whenever I was feeling down. I had a copy from my Grandma, but I lost it sometime in my teens.” “Well I think you look very cute.” “Thank you!” she wrote down, with a little smiley face next to it and a heart, before quickly scrubbing it off and writing something else. “I think you look really scary, good job!” I took one look down at my ridiculously childish costume, then looked back at her, raising my eyebrow at her… before we both burst out into laughter. After our regular feeding and our routine naps, once we were all back in the playroom, Nanny Juno walked in, with an empty two seater stroller. And when I looked behind her, I saw all our Nannies lining up each with their own stroller. “Right, before we take you back to your nurseries… we have a little surprise!” Juno said, smiling down at us. She tucked her shoulder length brown hair behind her ear and smiled. “You all get to go trick or treating!” “Umm… how?” Sophia asked. “Well, little Sophia… the Nannies from upstairs will go to various nurseries here in the basement, and you’ll be wheeled to each one. Now… you must say ‘Trick or treat!’ when they answer the door or else you won’t get any sweets…” “What if we want a trick?” Ollie replied, grinning. “Oh sweetie… if you want the Nannies to pick a trick, they will give you one…” “Wait… what? No, we’re supposed to-” “...With a spanking…” That shut Ollie up instantly. “Yes, I thought so… now, if you’re all good little girls and boys… you’ll get to eat your candy whilst we watch a cute children’s Halloween movie in here before bedtime. If you’re naughty… you’ll be going to bed early. Understood?” “Yes Nanny Juno…” we all said in unison, like we used to do in school. --------------------------------------------------- As we were wheeled up to the first nursery, on the girls’ side of the basement, Ceres stopped our stroller in front of the door and shuffled around it so she could knock on the door. “Trick or treat!” Ollie and I said together as the door opened, hoping we could be good enough to be able to eat sweets and watch a movie later. “Well aren’t you just precious! I love your little costumes!” the Nanny in front of us said, one with vibrant scarlet hair and a rather curvy figure, wearing the same uniform Ceres and the other Nannies wore every day. “This is Nanny Bellona…” Ceres said, introducing us. “You can call me Nanny Belle if you want, sweetpeas. I’ve heard you two have been very good for Ceres here…” Nanny Belle said, winking at the both of us, though I felt like her gaze was more directed on me. I guess they all know that I know a little bit more than the rest of my year, and I’m also guessing that this is some fun, informal way to introduce us to the Nannies that we’ll probably see next year… Because if Ceres had a pair before us… and they were last year’s year three… that means that we’ll see a lot more of the current second years’ Nannies when we move up a year, as they’ll be year three at that point… but we won’t see the current year three’s Nannies until we’re in year three… as they’ll be getting next years’ intake, which will be year 2 by then… right? So in year two we’ll get to know the current year two Nannies, and in year three we’ll get to know the current year three Nannies… because the first years, which is our year currently, are kept separated from the other two years… Right? As I tried figuring it out in my head, with even my rather logical brain struggling a bit to process it all… Nanny Belle bent over and put some sweets into our bags, the ones we were holding out. I know I was right, but trying to explain it to myself in my head was beginning to hurt, so I just focused on the fact that I’ll be getting to know these Nannies next year as we’ll be socialising with the year above. “You’ve got a couple of good’uns there, Ceres… You’re lucky…” “How’s Sia? I heard she was still being a bit of a handful…” “Oh she is. Still a bit resistant to some of the more babyish things, but overall she’s improved a lot since I first brought her in. She’s so much better than she used to be. I think it’s definitely working, but it’ll take her a little bit longer than Ellie.” “Is she still acting like Ellie’s big sister?” Ceres asked her. “Yeah, it’s adorable really.” “I think my boys will get on well with the girls upstairs. They’ve already become loved by all the girls down here.” “Popular with the girls, eh? That’s rare. But I’m glad! The girls in the second year could do with a more varied friend group. Second year boys are very much a typical boys club.” “Ah see, we’ve got that, but with Jack, Frankie and Harry.” “I’m looking forward to seeing what the others have dressed them up in…” “Oh you’ll love it…” Ollie interrupted, grinning. “Will I?” Belle replied, grinning back at him, making him blush a little. “Well I’m really looking forward to meeting them now…” “Trick or treat!” It was our last door now. So far we had met five Nannies, and each one was just the nicest person ever! And this last one also happened to be in our nursery, so it was weird having someone new open our door and greet us to our own place. But what was weirder… was she wasn’t alone. “Nyx?” Ceres asked, pointing to the adult baby fast asleep in the other Nanny’s arms. “She kept crying every time I left her,” Nanny Nyx sighed, bouncing the overgrown toddler on her hip gently, the girl’s legs wrapped around the Nanny’s waist as Nyx held her with just one arm. “So I asked and they said I could bring her down with me, stating it may be good for the first years to see a second year. Poor baby fell asleep as soon as I picked her up, but she wakes up as soon as I try to put her down.” “Who… dis?” I asked, quietly, as to not wake up the sleeping girl. “This, little one, is Ellie,” Nanny Nyx replied. “Dat’s a pretty name…” “She’s a little sweetheart. Fell right into her treatment, without so much as a fuss. I think you two will get along well next year, if Ceres hasn’t been telling me fibs about you two…” Nyx said to me, smiling sweetly. Ellie was a petite blonde girl, with hair very similar to mine, though hers was put up into pigtails and was a little longer than my shoulder length hair. She was wearing the cutest little pink babydoll dress with an enormous nappy peeking out from the bottom of it, resting on Nyx’s arm. Sucking away on her dummy… the girl looked so peaceful. If anything… this was it. Confirmation that this place works. I have no idea what she did to get herself kidnapped and put in here, but whatever it was… it’s clear she wasn’t the same person. She looked so… happy. Ceres and all the other Nannies and board members and everyone could make all the promises in the world and tell me about all the facts and figures and success rates… but seeing little Ellie here, in her blissful little sleep… that was more than enough proof that I was doing the right thing being here. As we were wheeled back to the main playroom of the basement, with a bag full of sweets in our laps, I couldn’t help thinking about that girl back there… Ellie. She was dressed so… babyish… more than we are! I thought… I thought they were supposed to be the second years? Surely they’re more like a toddler at that stage? Or maybe they’re still dressed that way until third year? Or maybe she wants to dress like that… I mean her Nanny did say she fell right into her treatment without a fuss. Maybe Ellie actually likes being treated like a baby. I know people like that exist, I’m not new to the internet or anything, I’ve heard about ageplay before. I just figured whoever designed this place was taking it to the extreme. Though to be fair… I don’t really know much about it myself, other than the old men from documentaries who dress as little girls. Part of me thought it was weird to actually enjoy this. But I think a lot of that was due to the other part of me… the part that was actually enjoying it. “Right, you’re all snuggled up. You’ve got your sweeties, and I’ve picked out a fun little movie for you all that isn’t too babyish,” Nanny Diana said, talking down to us as we all sat there in a little cuddle puddle, snuggled up with each other with blankets, ready for our movie. Bottles of milk had been distributed, along with cookies and the bags of sweets we collected just before we settled down. Everyone had been well behaved… everyone but Jack and his two cronies… who got an early bedtime. Thankfully Diana had had some empathy for Rowan and allowed him to join us, despite his partner being difficult. So as we cuddled up, with me in the middle of everyone… Ollie cuddled up on one side and Ella cuddled up on the other… I felt oddly… at peace… for the first time in a while and I felt a smile creep up on my face. This… this was what I needed. It may not fix me or my issues. But it definitely helps. And as the movie started playing on the large TV in front of us, I felt Ella next to me moving slightly. Getting closer. Edging over just a bit every few seconds. And resting her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arm around mine and cuddling me close. It was at that moment I had no idea what to do. Or what this even meant. I’m terrible at reading people. Does this… mean she likes me? Or does she just want someone to cuddle with? Does this mean she feels safe with me? My brain was working overtime trying to figure this out. I was about to have a meltdown in my head. So I flushed all worries and all thoughts from it, and charged forward with the only thing that I could think of… the only thing that I wanted to do right now… …And I gently rested my head on hers, carefully laying my hand over her hand and squeezing it. Then the suppressed worries and thoughts came rushing back and I was worried that maybe I had pushed it too far… or too quickly… ‘What if I misread the whole situation? I have a habit of doing that…’ But all those worries were instantly calmed when she snuggled even closer, trying to close in that inch of space between our bodies. ====================================================== Oh? What's that? The author put herself into her own novel? 'Ellie' sure does sound like a certain Fallen Princess... :3 I may have put a lot of myself into Noah, but I couldn't help but put myself into Elysium, with a different name. Because who of us wouldn't want to be cared for one of these super strong Nannies? (Sia is my big sis btw, another insert for my close friend :3) Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

What if it doesn't crack? 😯 or takes forever to crack? 🤭 Awwww don't be scared. Even if Noah doesn't get the Princess outfit it won't be the end of the world. It would suck though. Yeah... I denied it for yeeeeeeeears. It was not fun. It's been obvious throughout that Noah feels gender dysphoria. This isn't out of the blue. Hell, so many people figured it out from the first chapter or two. 🤭 *gender identity, but yeah I have. I didn't outrightly reveal it from the first chapter as I felt like I should lead into it. Most trans readers recognised it straight away though 😂 Because there's no twist or lead up if I reveal it in the first chapter. I made it have little hints dotted through until it becomes obvious that he is a repressed trans woman. I was purposefully vague. And yeah, the story has a lot of mysteries. It's designed to get people wondering what's going on and where it's going and to get you all commenting and theorising, as that's one of my favourite things.

Chapter 19: Bottled Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Weeks six and seven were very much the same thing as week five. Now that we were all merged into one group, even if three members of it were still sulking in the centre play gym, it was a lot more… ‘Normal’. If anything, it reminded me of school. Which… I hated back then. But this is a lot nicer than school. A lot less bullying, especially with Jack not hanging around us. I did notice that he and the other two boys with him were wearing the same blue top and shorts that we were forced to wear in the first three weeks of being in this room. I swear I need to come up with a better name for this place, the Nannies just call it the playroom. But yeah, I did ask Ceres about this, asking why they were still dressed the same, and she said they hadn’t embraced their new reality yet. They were still resisting changes and feedings, they were still avoiding socialising (which I’m still 1000% okay with!), and so they didn’t deserve to dress in cute outfits. When they finally give in, and Ceres ensured they will give in, they’ll get cuter, more comfortable outfits. Though if they don’t break soon… she said she may have to break out the frilly dresses. Which made me instantly regret not acting out. But yeah, every day I’d wake up, get an hour lesson with Vesta, then be back in time to pretend to wake up around the same time as Ollie, as I was to keep this a secret, even from my nursery-mate. We’d be nursed, changed, dressed up… the usual. Then we’d be taken straight away to the playroom, where we’d meet up with Rowan and all the girls, and we’d just put something on the TV and chat, sitting in the comfy bean bag chairs. This would go on for a bit, usually talking about our lives before Elysium, or talking about what our Nannies had done or said to us, or about how cute Sophia and Jess were. Part way through week five, the girls wanted to shake things up a bit so we didn’t just get bored of talking to each other, so Sophia encouraged us to at least do some colouring or something whilst we chatted, or play with blocks. This worked really well, and it got us doing things together, often working together to build things or play with toys or whatever. Her Nanny was really impressed that she managed to get us all to do more infantile things. She got a ‘gold star’, which confused the hell out of me. Mostly because if there are gold stars to be earned, I NEED them! I didn’t even know what I gained from having a gold star at the time, but I knew I wanted as many as I could get. Apparently… It was a thing their Nanny did just for Jess and Sophia, to encourage them to act more babyish, rewarding them for embracing their new roles. And after enough of us started begging and whining to our own Nannies… all the Nannies got together and devised a system for us to earn a new currency: Gold Stars. These stars would allow us access to some benefits that we normally wouldn’t be allowed. Like a more adult dessert with our lunches, or to get to control what gets put on the TV for the day, or to get to pick our own outfit for the day. Different things would cost a certain amount of Gold Stars, that would be redeemed for the reward. And to encourage each other, we had a little Gold Star chart on the wall of the main playroom. Jess and Sophia were at the top. But that’s only because their gold stars from before carried over. Ella and I were joint second now, mostly because we didn’t really spend ours. The others didn’t have many gold stars, but it wasn’t that they weren’t earning any, it was that they were spending theirs as soon as they got them, as we were all earning Gold Stars, often for colouring something in to go on the wall, or for being extra good, or for talking like a baby to our Nannies… you know, anything that showed them we were really taking this whole re-raising thing seriously. The only ones not earning Gold Stars… were the three boys hiding in the play gym. I hated them. I hated them so much. They were so antisocial… and clearly hated all of us outside because we were actually playing along with our kidnappers. They kept refusing, often earning spankings and other punishments. Not once did they earn a single Gold Star. And what was worse… was that in the three weeks that we had been merged as one big group in the main playroom… I never once had a chance to play in the play gym in the middle of the room. They hogged it the entire time, hiding in there and talking shit about us (at least that’s what I assume they were doing). Anyway, once we had a few hours in the playroom, we’d be taken back to our nurseries for our afternoon feeding and a nap, then we’d be brought back into the playroom for a few hours before bedtime. We’d usually use this time to put on a movie and snuggle up in one big puddle, trying to wind down before bedtime. Nursing, bedtime story, sleepytime. Done. That was our day. For three weeks. Until… Halloween. “What’s so special about today?” I asked, as Ceres began excitedly getting me undressed and bathed in the little plastic wash tub, one just like the ones I used to be bathed in as an actual baby. The first time she put me in this I felt humiliated, but at this point nothing could humiliate me. “Why do you ask?” she replied, filling a jug with my bath water and carefully rinsing my hair, making sure to cover my eyes as she did so. “You seem more… perky… than usual…” Ollie lay in his crib nearby, avoiding eye contact, as I was sitting in the tub fully naked in the centre of the room. “Yeah… you do seem more… upbeat.” “It’s Halloween, silly!” she replied, smiling at us both. “Wait… it’s the end of October already?” Ollie asked, sounding really surprised. I worked it out in my head… yeah… it was week 8… which means it really was the end of October. Wow… it’s weird how quickly the last two months have gone. And how much closer it is to Ella’s birthday… Thankfully I was doing really well in my lessons with Vesta, so I hoped I could remember enough to have a very very basic conversation with Ella in sign by the time it’s needed. “Wait…” I sighed. “I assume by you getting excited for this… either you’re going to a Halloween party once you put us to bed… or…” She couldn’t contain her glee. “I get to dress you up in cute costumes for the day!” she squealed, clapping her wet hands together, spraying soapy water all over herself. “Wait, really?” Ollie seemed to perk up at this news… whereas I dreaded it. “Yeah! And because you two are such good boys… I’ll even let you pick your costume from the options available!” After my bath, I was thickly padded like usual, and left wearing just my nappy as I sat in my crib, whilst Ceres bathed Ollie. I didn’t care that much about seeing Ollie naked as he did seeing me in the same predicament, but to give him some privacy and to make him feel better, I avoided looking in his direction as the naked guy was washed by our Nanny. To pass the time, I admired what I was wearing. Mostly because up until this point I had just seen my nappies as a thing that I needed to use, due to them somehow taking away my potty training. They were humiliating but I needed them, so I pushed them to the back of my mind. But right now… I stopped and admired them for the first time. They were… they are… cute. I guess? They hug my hips really nicely, they’re nice to sit on, and they have very cute babyish designs that look just like the nappies I used to have to wear when I was an actual baby… and yes, I will admit (to myself only, I will never admit this to Ceres or Ollie or anyone!)... that I maaaaaaybe like them when they are wet. Maybe a bit too much. Look, it’s been eight weeks and I haven’t… you know… ‘played’... Ollie has. Don’t I know it… Pretty sure Ceres knows too, what with the cameras, though like me she hasn’t said anything. He’s tried to be stealthy about it, but I know he can’t go two days without jerking it in his wet nappy in the night, when he thinks no one is watching. …It’s actually kind of adorable actually. Look, I didn’t think I’d ever say this but… his moans… were kinda cute. Me on the other hand… I was determined to not do… that… with anyone present. So as pent up as I am… I keep it together. As best I can. Maybe. Okay… maybe I squirm a lot in the night. But with no ‘release’... it was probably just making me worse than if I had not done anything at all. Once Ollie was washed, and once he had a nappy taped around his waist, he was carried over to my crib and placed inside it. There we sat, two of us naked except for our nappies, as Ceres walked over to the rocking chair, picking up her tablet and bringing it over. “Scooch over a little, let me sit in the middle…” she said. Ollie and I quickly moved aside, giving her space to park herself in between the two of us. “Right, I’ll show you a bunch of costumes. You two pick one each.” Opening up a web page, she began scrolling down a gallery of various cheap Halloween costumes, each one being modelled by someone and each one was a moving image. The costumes weren’t realistic in the slightest, but then I guess when you’re dressing up a baby for Halloween… you’re not going to go ‘horror’… you’re going to go with clowns and vampires and princesses. Princesses… As she scrolled, I noticed the most beautiful Princess costume. It looked like one of those Princess dresses you’d see little girls wearing when they go trick or treating. Even came with a little crown! It was purple and looked like it was made out of satin or something, as the fabric in the moving image shimmered. Oh how I wanted so badly to ask for that. But that would out me instantly. And ruin everything. Ollie would hate me. Ceres would think differently of me. Ella… Ella would probably stop being interested in me. And Jack… Jack would probably kick the shit out of me. He’s already made it pretty damn clear he hates ‘f##s’. But I mean… am I even sure that’s who I really am? I’ve been suppressing it for so long. Told myself that I can’t be that. Growing up they were seen as freaks and weirdos. Things have gotten better since I was a kid… but it’s still not great. Took me years to finally accept that maybe… maybe that’s who I am. Every time I suppressed it, the feelings came back… more intense… everytime kicking my arse and sending me spiralling into an even worse depression. Hell… it’s why I was on that bridge nearly two months ago now. Ceres still thinks it’s general depression mixed with the being dumped thing… but that’s far from the truth. I couldn’t give a shit about getting dumped. She wouldn’t have accepted me if I had actually decided to do anything about these feelings. She didn’t love me… she loved the idea of me. The guy that she fell for. The act I put on. The persona of a guy that never truly existed. When I got ‘inducted’ here (which yes, is just a nicer way of saying drugged and kidnapped), I put those feelings behind me, hoping that maybe it would all sort out by whatever this program was. But with everything being so… gendered… with me being forced to be with the boys again, just like back at school… the feelings came back even harder than ever. There was no bottling it up now. I was going to have to deal with them at some point. And soon. So as I stared at that Princess dress, imagining myself wearing it… I felt a nudge. “You okay, baby?” Ceres whispered. “I… wha?” “You go somewhere fun?” she giggled. “You were zoned out a bit there.” “I… I’m ok.” “Is there a costume you prefer? I saw you eyeing the vampire…” I looked back at the screen to see a vampire costume right next to the Princess one I had been really eyeing the entire time. A very masculine vampire costume… “I…” I tried to speak up. I tried to say I wanted the Princess costume. But… there was no way I was admitting that. Not now. I’d just screw everything up. No… I’ll keep these feelings to myself. I’ll bottle them up. I have to. And then maybe… just maybe… I’ll return to them once I’ve ‘graduated’. ====================================================== Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Hey no, it's okay! Noah's egg hasn't quite cracked properly. He hasn't accepted who he really is. Either pronouns are fine at this point in the story

Chapter 18: Purple Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Day 2 of us all being mixed together. Jack and his two stooges still occupied the centre play gym area climbing frame thing. Look, I don’t know what to call it. I used to call them jungle gyms, but I don’t actually know what they’re called. They’re like the play areas you’d find in children’s parks, but this was sized up for adults. It had things you could climb on, a slide, lots of tunnels to climb through… it was a large structure that was mostly plastic and that soft cushiony stuff for play areas… and the three morons were hogging the damn thing! But right now, I didn’t care. I was still on a high. Because I woke up an hour earlier than usual, which isn’t too bad considering they let us sleep way longer than the 7 or 8 hours adults are supposed to get. But then I guess we’re not really considered adults anymore, are we? We’re adult-sized toddlers. Well… adult-sized babies more like. I think the years upstairs are more like toddlers, we’re the infants. Ceres got me out of my crib, changed my nappy, then dressed me in a cute pair of shortalls and a purple onesie. This was… weird. And no, I’m not talking about the onesie itself, it was the fact that we weren’t dressed in the same blue onesie we’d wear to bed, nor the blue t-shirt and shorts combo that we’d worn every day for the past three weeks or so. “What?” Ceres asked. She must have figured out I was dying to say something, because she stopped mid-getting me dressed, and folded her arms. “You don’t like it? I think purple suits you…” “Yeah but… why purple? We’ve been wearing blue for weeks… and the same outfits!” I said quietly, as to not wake up Ollie, who was sleeping soundly in his crib still. “Merged groups means we can finally dress you up! I’ve been so excited for this! I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to dressing you and Ollie up!” “I… what?” “Well yesterday is a one off, it was technically the last day of you being put into strict boy/girl groups, and making sure you have outfits that reinforce the mentality that you’ll be stuck here.” “Like prison uniforms…?” “Shush. But… yes.” “So why can you change that now?” I asked. “What's so special about merging that lets you stop treating us like prisoners?” “Well it's a month in. By now you all know you’re not going anywhere. You’re stuck here. Any escape attempts have been thwarted, all major acts of defiance quashed. Today is the day we finally get to dress you up in better outfits! And oh my gosh, there’s so many cute baby boy outfits! Not as many as baby girl outfits, but it’s still good.” “So they’re… still gendered?” “Yeah, purple is the closest I can go. No pinks, no reds, no yellows. And has to be a deep purple, can’t be lilac or lavender.” “Who comes up with these things?” “Sweetie… I have no idea. The board has experts on this stuff. They decide everything. Hence why everything is gendered so heavily. Something about allowing you to grow up properly, like you should have been. And the gender stuff just reinforces it. I think. Again, I’m not a psychologist. I’m just a gorgeous, amazing, super strong Nanny!” she said, smiling and winking at me. “I… like the purple.” “You do? What’s your favourite colour, sweetie?” Obviously I couldn’t say what I wanted to, there are rules here, even if I think they’re ridiculous. “I like really light blue. Like… Alice!” “Wonderland Alice?” “Yeah!” “D’awwww! You even look a little like her, actually! If your hair was a little longer…” she squealed a little, gushing over me. I blushed and tried to hide my face as she slipped some velcro trainers on my feet, fastening them tightly. “But I think purple is my favourite colour,” I lied, hoping it’d result in me getting to wear more purple things. “Then I’ll try to pick out more purple things from now on, cutie.” Ha! Knew it! Just like I planned. “Does Ollie get to pick too, or am I special because you can talk freely like this to me, due to my unique situation?” “Nah, he can get a bit of a say. Though I am warning you, that doesn’t mean you’ll always be dressed up in your favourite colour. If I think you’ll look adorable in something, I will dress you up in it, no matter what colour!” she giggled. I loved her giggle. It just put a warmth in my breast that reassured me that I was making the right choice by trusting her… and by trusting this place. After I had been dressed, she didn’t bother with a stroller, instead she just picked me up and rested me on her hip like before, carrying me out of the nursery. “You’re up early…” said the guard we always greeted daily. “Couldn’t sleep?” “Oh no,” Ceres replied, “this little one is getting special lessons from Nanny Vesta. And with the schedule so…” “...Strict?” “Yeah… with it so strict, this is the only time we can do the lessons.” “Special lessons, eh? Never heard of them before.” “It’s a new thing just for him. Maybe I’ll tell you later, sorry but I don’t want to keep Vesta waiting…” “Oh of course… go on through, Ceres…” And so that morning, Vesta taught me some basic sign language. She started off with the very basics, just signing stuff like the alphabet, and the whole time she teached me like she was teaching a baby… which I guess is apt considering where we are right now… It was a lot of fun though, I must admit. I promised I’d keep practicing during the day, though I think I’ll have to be very careful when and where I do practice, if I want to keep it a secret from Ella. I was really looking forward to surprising her on her birthday. I hope she likes it… But yes, anyway, back to the rest of today. It was going well, though we mostly just hung out around the TV area, chatting again. Everyone was discussing their lives outside of this place, before they got kidnapped. Where they worked, where they are from, what kinds of people their friends and family are, that kind of thing. Some had some… less nice lives, some had nicer lives which they didn’t appreciate until they were taken away from them. It was going to be interesting to see what they want to do when they ‘graduate’. Because the way some of them talked about their parents or their friends… made it seem like they were glad to be away from them. Me… I’m still not sure what I want at the end of this. I just hope I’m happier, that the desire to end everything fades… though maybe that’s just wishful thinking at this point. Maybe they’ll get me to a better point, but they’re not miracle workers… are they? Thankfully, they all avoided asking me about my situation, given my mental health, which I really appreciated. I could have talked about it to them if I wanted to, but there was no pressure. After the three weeks of awkward silences and split rooms in the boys section… It was nice to actually be in a big group of… well… friends. I know it's only the second day, but everyone is already so nice! I’d happily consider them friends. It was also great seeing Rowan opening up. Ollie was still a bit awkward, but he was trying. It’s obvious his friends are mostly guys, he really didn’t know how to talk to the girls. Ella even contributed to the conversation, though she had to resort to using her board the whole time, and she missed a lot of what we were saying, asking us to write down what we said on her board. Her lip reading is amazing… but it’s not perfect it seems. The smile on her face made me worry less though, she was clearly having a good time and felt included. Jess and Sophia though… oh my god they were so adorable together. Like… it was so obvious that if this place had tried to only kidnap one of them… the other probably would have broken in just to join them, or broken them out. And I don’t think Elysium could’ve stopped them! They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, constantly cuddled up with each other, planting little kisses on each other when they thought no one would notice. Even kissing when people were watching. They just didn’t care. Then their Nanny, ‘Nanny Juno’ apparently, casually walked in and checked their nappies. Finding them both to be messy, she lifted them both up, one on each side of her hip, and carried them out of the room. Neither of them put up a fuss, and they didn’t even seem to care that they were messy. Most of us still blush, but those two just shrugged and let themselves be carried off for a change. “We won’t see them for an hour or so…” Maria said, rolling her eyes. “Oh?” I replied, confused. “She takes forever to change them. I think she gives them an extra nursing time too, as they always look a bit drained when they come back.” “Weird…” It was even weirder that everyone just nodded along, as if talking about being nursed was just a normal thing by now. Ollie, Rowan and I never talk about it. We keep shush about the messing, the nursing… everything humiliating we just keep to ourselves. But the girls seemed to have no fuss about nursing. “What’s up?” Ella said, this time without using her whiteboard. “Wait… what? Ella speaks?” Ava replied, seemingly shocked by this revelation. “Wait… she’s not spoken to you? Not even you Maria?” I asked. “Nope. Wait… she has with you? Is that why you two were alone together yesterday?” “D’awwww!” Poppy said, squealing a little. “Ella has a crush on Noah!” Both Ella and I froze. Our cheeks turned bright red at exactly the same time. “I… umm… no, she just… she just wanted to talk to someone in the same boat as her. That’s all!” I replied. “And she spoke to you! So you must be special…” “ANYWAY… Ella… what did you say?” I asked, trying to change the subject quickly. Ella was too embarrassed to speak again, instead opting to write out her sentence and show it up for me to read. “What’s up? You seem… embarrassed…” it said. “Well yeah I am now! Being put on the spot like that…” “No… when Maria mentioned nursing… you looked flushed…” she wrote. “D’awww! Is Noah all blushy about nursing?” Poppy said, in that same voice she just used moments ago. “I… shush! Aren’t you?” I replied, sounding extremely defensive right now. “Nah, we got over it,” Ava shrugged. “How?” “They’re boobs. Look, we already… pooped… ourselves. What’s the issue with nursing on some hot girls' tits?” “Sure, it was embarrassing at first. But it helps when you’re all in the same boat and you discuss it. It becomes… normal. Not this weird taboo thing,” Maria said, shrugging herself. “So you’re all… just… okay nursing on some woman’s breasts?” Ollie asked, finally speaking up, looking as embarrassed as I looked right now. “Feels good. And we’re told we need to do it here. So we do it. Did you not talk with the boys about it so you could stop feeling awkward?” I didn’t say anything, I just pointed at the jungle gym. “Oh… yeah… no wonder…” Ella wrote down. “Typical boys…” Maria said, shrugging. Okay… that one hurt. Like… a lot. I hated being lumped in with the other guys. Always have. “Well let's talk about it now then!” Poppy suggested. “We can help you!” ---------------------------------------------------- Okay so that night, when Ceres was nursing me… it was still a bit weird. I still blushed, I still felt awkward… but after the talk we had with the girls earlier in the day, it just felt… better. Not normal… I’m not sure it’ll be normal for me anytime soon, but it was definitely easier. The people running this expect us to do it. And hey, I’m also not going to lie to myself… I enjoy it. And it’s not like it's taboo here, it’s just a normal thing we all do twice a day. Three times in the case of Jess and Sophia. Maybe… maybe I can try feeling a bit normal about all this baby stuff? I mean, using my nappy isn’t that bad… I guess. It’s still weird. But… I’m not as grossed out by it. And changes seem more natural too. I’m just glad I’ve finally met the girls. And what’s even better is that they seem to like me. …Especially Ella. ====================================================== Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Chapter 17: Questions Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- “Why did I want to end it all? Umm… because I was lost, I guess?” I replied. Ella didn’t write anything down, she didn’t even move a muscle, she just sat there, nodding in response, as if she understood me. “I just… I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff since I was really young. And over the years things have gotten progressively worse. And I just kinda… hit my limit with it all, you know?” She just nodded in agreement, looking… almost upset. “Sorry… I don’t want to bring the conversation down. How about I ask you a question now?” She nodded in excitement. “Right, this doesn’t count as a question, right? But… Can I ask about your… your deafness?” She took a second to think, before smiling back at me and nodding again. “Were you born deaf or did this happen at some point?” She quickly wrote something down. “I always had limited hearing, but it got worse when I was really young. My turn?” I nodded back to her, smiling. I’m glad she’s comfortable enough around me to talk about this. Though I bet she gets all this way too often, and I’d really like to know more about her, not just her disability. “Do you self harm?” she asked. “Have done in the past. But not for a while now. And never did anything that would leave a mark. I saw yours… how long have you been doing…?” I went silent as she quickly wrote something down. “Since my teenage years. I was bullied because of my deafness. So I hate myself. Umm… can I ask how you tried… to… ‘you know’…?” “Nearly jumped off a bridge onto an empty motorway. Ceres grabbed me and yanked me back with that crazy super strength of hers,” I said, laughing awkwardly. “I’m glad she did,” wrote Ella. “Umm… do you have to write everything? Can you speak?” I asked, before quickly worrying that I had been insensitive in asking that. “I can. I sound stupid though. So I stick to signing with Vesta, and I have my board for people like you ” “I bet you don’t. I bet you sound lovely. But if you’re not comfortable, that’s fine.” Ella looked around for a second, nervously, as if she was actually contemplating talking for me. Then she opened her mouth. “I…” My heart skipped a beat as she spoke for the first time around me. At least the first time I had ever heard her. I didn’t say anything, didn’t move a muscle, because I didn’t want to interrupt her or put her off, so I just sat there, patiently waiting for her to pluck the courage to talk. “I… sound stupid…” She really didn’t. Sure, she sounded a bit like the stereotypical deaf people on TV, you know the kind… their voices sound a bit monotone, just because they haven’t been able to hear the natural inflections in speech to learn them. But she definitely didn’t sound stupid. Honestly… She was adorable. “Shush. No you don’t. You really don’t. You have a beautiful voice. But if you’re not comfortable using it, we can go back to the board…” “I… I’ll keep it up… for a bit…” she replied. “Just don’t force yourself, okay?” She smiled and nodded at me. “So who… whose turn is it?” she asked. “I think it's yours, go ahead!” “Umm…” she trailed off, trying to think of a question. “Do you think this place will actually help? Vesta promised me it would, that's why I agreed to come with her. I’m not so sure though.” “So you were given a choice?” “My question first!” she blurted out, giggling. “Sorry, I’ll answer yours first. I… hope it will. I’m not sure how. But they apparently have a high success rate. And I trust Ceres.” “Your Nanny seems nice. I was glad she stood up for you. If she didn’t, I would have…” “I’ve got a feeling you girls are going to be very protective of me…” Her smile grew twice as big as she nodded happily. “We’ll keep you safe. That Jack… he seems… not friendly. We heard stories of him…” “He took a swing at me, knocked me out cold.” “WHA?” “I may have put myself in the path of his fist though. He was about to hit Rowan…” Ella shuffled forward, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “Please be careful.” “I will, don’t worry. I’m not usually one to get into fights. Complete opposite really. But… I couldn’t just let him hit Rowan like that.” “You’re too kind, Noah…” “Thanks.” “You’re not like the others. They all… they’re in here for a reason. We… We’re different,” she said, looking awkwardly at the floor, before looking back up when I began to talk. “I know. But hey, we all need help. And maybe they’ll be able to.” “I hope so.” We talked for a good twenty minutes or so, before Vesta walked in, holding two bottles of milk. “Hey kiddos… you two getting along?” “Uh huh!” Ella said, stretching her arms out, doing the ‘grabby hands’ pose I had seen plenty of young children do when they want something. Vesta walked over, handed Ella her bottle, then reached down and offered me the other. “No board?” she said to her friend and charge, surprised. “Nuh huh!” Ella replied, proudly. Once I took the bottle of milk, Vesta signed something to Ella, which made the girl put her bottle down between her legs, and sign something back. I had no idea what they were talking about, it was like their own little secret language, but I hope things are okay. “Well, Noah… seems like you’ve got a new friend. She likes you…” Vesta said, laughing. Ella’s cheeks turned bright red and she pouted just like the toddler she was dressed as. “I like her too. Ella’s really lovely,” I replied. “Ella… I think you need a change though, sweetheart.” Ella looked down, guiltily, picking up her bottle and teasing her lips with the teat, as if she was hoping Vesta would just get bored and go away, which was adorable. “Come on stinky…” “No stinky!” she pouted. “Sure you’re not… Come on kiddo…” Vesta lifted the adult woman up as if she really was just a small toddler, holding her on her hip and looking down at me. “Don’t worry, you two can play more once I’ve got that mushy butt of yours changed…” Ceres used this opportunity to quickly sneak in, without me noticing, and pulled the waistband of my nappy back. “Looks like I’ve also got a lil stinker on my hands…” “Eeeeeek!” I squealed, covering my blushing face and dropping the bottle onto the carpet. Thank god it was in a baby bottle, otherwise that would’ve spilled everywhere. “Are you doing okay, kiddo?” Ceres asked as she bent down and ruffled my hair. “Umm…” I replied, my sentence drifting off. “What’s up?” “I… I wanna talk to Ves… Nanny Vesta…” I mumbled, nervously. “Well go ahead, before she goes…” “Can… I talk to her in private, maybe?” “One second…” Ceres said, before popping my dummy in my mouth and standing up straight, calling out to her colleague before she could leave. “Vesta?” “Yes dear?” “I think I’m going to need a hand with this one. Mind putting off Ella’s change just to help me with my little one? I’ll help you with her afterwards.” Vesta looked at her with confusion plastered across her face. “Sure? Ella… you be a good girl, okay? I’ll be back to change you in a bit. Just stay in here, okay baby?” Ella was just as confused, but she smiled and nodded at her friend, before being settled down on her messy and very thickly padded backside, her smile turning to a frown as she probably just felt the mess spread. “Why do you need help with Noah?” Vesta asked as we entered a room that looked to be designated entirely for nappy changes. One I hadn’t seen before, as this was out through the main door in the centre enclosure, off in a completely different direction to the dorms. Ceres had sat me down on the changing table, rather than laying me down. “Noah wanted to speak to you,” she replied. “Oh? What about?” Taking my dummy out of my mouth so that I could speak properly, Ceres then signalled to me to say what I wanted to say. Problem was… I was hoping to do it alone, but then I guess it’s not too bad if Ceres hears. “Umm… About Ella…” I began, my nerves causing my body to shake. “Yes?” Vesta’s eyebrow raised. She sounded very defensive right now, clearly they are extremely close friends. “Umm… I was wondering… how annoying is it for her to have to use her board for everyone?” “She deals with it. Though it can hurt her wrists if she’s not careful. Why?” “H… how easy is it to learn sign language?” In an instant, Vesta’s tough bodyguard act faded. “Why? You want to learn?” she asked, surprised. “If it’ll make it easier for her to talk to me… yeah…” “If you do a bit of practice every day… you could learn the basics within the year. I think it takes a few years to become fluent. I’ve known Ella since we were both kids, and it took me a few years. I think it was quicker for me seeing as I was practicing lots every day just by talking to her. So if you were to do the same… maybe you’d be able to be fluent by the time you graduate?” “But to have a basic understanding… I could do that this year?” “This school year, as it’s only a few months off Christmas. So by next September… you’d probably have a good understanding of the basics.” “Is… there any way I could learn without her knowing? I was hoping… to learn it and then surprise her…” “All this for a girl you just met…” Vesta giggled. “But she is special, I get that. It’s why I care so much about her. To be honest though hun, you’re better off learning by talking to her. She’s much better at it than me.” “Could I at least learn some before? I want to put a smile on her face by surprising her with a bit of sign language.” “I guess I could teach you. But we’d have to figure out a schedule.” Ceres finally spoke up. I had completely forgotten she was still standing there. And as I looked over at her, she was nearly tearing up. Thankfully they looked like happy tears. “How about I wake Noah up an hour earlier than the planned schedule? That way you’re not busy with your girls. I could even tune in to the camera feed to keep an eye on them while they sleep.” “You’re making me wake up an hour earlier?” Vesta sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “I’ll buy you a coffee…” Ceres smiled, using her most tempting voice to try and win over her colleague. “Better make it a really nice one…” Vesta sighed. “Fine. Deal. Nice coffee… and in exchange you teach Noah some basic sign language for an hour or so each morning… Noah, when do you want to surprise her?” “Well I was hoping just to learn some basics so I could say something really cute that will make her happy,” I replied, shrugging. “How about for her birthday?” Vesta suggested. “I think it would be a lovely birthday present for her.” “When’s her birthday?” I asked. “November. So next month. I think I could teach you the most basic of basics in a month, or at least enough so you can wish her happy birthday and a few other things. After that, we can move our lessons to during the day, and we can involve Ella. But Ceres will still get me a fancy coffee at least once a week…” “Noah… you better want this…” my Nanny laughed, squeezing me tightly in the biggest hug she could muster without breaking something. “It’ll make her happy. So yeah, it’s worth it,” I smiled up at them both. “You’ve got a good kid there, Ceres…” Vesta said, smiling. “I was surprised you brought him in at the last minute, especially regarding his unique situation, but I’m glad you did. I hope this program works for him. Right, I need to go change the little stinky Princess, so I’ll see you tomorrow Noah, nice and early! And Ceres? Don’t forget my coffee. Extra sugar.” ====================================================== Okay so this is probably one of, if not my most wholesome chapter I've ever written of any story. It had me crying writing it, and I've made multiple subscribers cry at this chapter. Hoping to add to that number here today :3 Also thank you for the generous praise regarding my disabled characters and how I wrote them. I was so worried about writing them wrong, as I know a lot of authors aren't very good at it, and I didn't want to fall down the same holes they do. But I guess it helps being an disabled, autistic, depressed trans girl And I think maybe I put a bit more of myself than I had planned into Noah, the autism is showing I haven't, however, had much interaction with deaf people, and I wanted to write Ella as best I can, being realistic but not making the usual mistakes others make writing deaf characters, as they're often underrepresented. Basically I just hope that I've done well and she's accurately portrayed and that you all love her as much as I do. Also I encourage people to learn BSL/ASL! I'm doing it (though I'm very bad at keeping to schedules these days, so I'm rubbish at it and it's been a while since I last practiced). Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

No one said Ella is a trans little. Read it again there's only one trans little in this story, and it's kinda obvious who it is 😋 Ella is cis.