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Found 469 results

  1. How long and what to do?

    New to wearing diapers but I wanted to know if I wet a diaper how long can you stay in it and what fun can I get up to in wet or messy diaper?
  2. Looks like they finally called it quits on a print I never tried(or could efford). When I first saw them, they seems like a swim diaper but was a regular diaper. No clue why it wasn't a swim diaper. Eather way I'm pretty sad I will never be able to try these on. Maybe as a collectors item perhaps?
  3. These are two of the caption-style stories we've been working on for our fans over on our Patreon & our Tumblr! They're one-off scene stories with images picked out and contributed to us from our fans on those sites, and as well as contributing pictures, we offer caption commissions as well as further Patreon supporter exclusives! As always, the vast majority of our work is free, and we'll endeavor to post our free captions here as well as on our tumblr, and our patreon, as well. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! And please let us know if you like this kind of stuff.
  4. We are proud to introduce the first-ever printed pull-up created and engineered for the ABDL community, the Magnifico Pull-Up! Since we launched back in 2006, we have listened to the community and witnessed the strong demand for a premium, printed, thick and comfortable pull-up with more absorbency than traditional pull-ups on the market. We believe we have accomplished this with the Magnifico Pull-Up! We have spent years sourcing the best, most satisfying materials for this pull-up. From the super soft and stretchy waist band down to the thick and textured non-woven core with impressive pull-up absorbency, this high-quality pull-up is unlike anything you have ever seen/worn before! Learn more! - http://bit.ly/2vtJmhy
  5. The Lost Ones

    David struggled, out of breath. He held the bar to his shoulder, and slowly lowered it."Done!" he said in a breathless voice, mentally adding "finally." Lifting weights was far from his favorite pastime. However, under the circumstances, it was necessary.He faced a mirror, seeing his own blue, blond hair and smooth face. He ran a hand down his right shoulder and arm. "Better," he thought, "but not great."He himself didn't care about what he looked like, and especially not about being muscular. He wasn't even sure if he could become muscular, at least not in the same way some people at the gym were. However, he also needed to fit in. While the exercise machines now being built certainly made it easier, the growing trend where people worked out regularly for appearance and fitness made things more difficult. He had free weights in his house, and would need to use them later that night as well.He passed by the front desk, nodding to two staff members at the desk, who nodded back and waved. This may be the last time he came in. He'd been there a few months, longer then he usually stayed at one gym.As he left, one of the staff members turned to the other."You see that guy?""Yeah? The quiet one?""Yes. He's been coming here almost every morning for three months.""So? He's dedicated. That's what I like.""Yeah but.. I know some people at one of the other gyms in the area, and apparently he did the same thing there before switching to this one, and someone mentioned he was at another place before that.""And?""Well... Isn't it weird he keeps switching? And...""What?""Does he LOOK like he's been working like that for a year?"...David was walking past closed shops on a downtown road. It was still early morning, and if he was lucky, he could get home before more people were out. He hated walking around when it was crowded, but hated the dark even more, so this ended up being the best time to get around. He would have to come out later, he knew- there wasn't much he could do before anything was open, and he had to get buy- but for something he could do at any point, like attend a gym, it was ideal.He stopped, his eyes going wide. He was passing by a toy store, one of his favorite spots in town. In the window was a giant brown teddy bear. He stared, pressing his face and hands against the glass. It looked... soo... soft! He loved the material they used for stuffed animals recently. He didn't know what it was, but he loved just pressing it against his face. One like this he could use as a bed, his full body covered with softness...He was already pressing on the door. It wouldn't budge. He looked down at the handle. He pressed again, angrily. He shouted and began kicking the ground. Why wouldn't it open? He looked at the door again, noticing the sign that said closed. "ERRRR" he said about to pound on the glass, then stopped. He couldn't do that in public, what would people think if he saw? It was locked, there was nothing he could do, he thought. The thought made him sad, almost tearing. He looked at the door again. He could always come back later and buy it if he thought of it, he reminded himself. Now happy again, he began skipping down the road and smiling."Drat," he said suddenly, noticing his shoelace had come untied. He knelt down to tie it."One over the other... DANG!" he said. He spread them out to restart. Sometimes he question if he should just give up and get velcro shoes, but that seemed like it would cause more problems then it solved. One thing he didn't want was questions about why he was wearing anything deemed childish."Why hello there!" a warm, elderly woman's voice said.David frooze."Are you lost? Do you need help with your shoe laces?""Ummmm..." he said, not looking up."Let me help you, then you should get on home.""Ye..es," he replied, panicking.The speaker, a gray woman with glasses, bent down in front of him. David blushed and looked around as she began to lace his shoes. He hoped no one was watching. He knew he should have said no, but he couldn't find the words, and he really did need the help..."There, all done! Now you keep practicing and you'll get it one day!""Th..thanks," he said. He doubted he would, though."Now you hurry along, little one."David blushed deeper. He remained kneeling and looked down, avoiding eye contact. Hopefully she would move on before she noticed."Are you alright? Why aren't you getting up? Should I call for help? Where are your parents?"David closed his eyes. "Drat," he thought. "Well, I'd better get it over with." He stood up and looked at her.At first she seemed surprised to find he was as taller then she was, if not by much. She then fixed her glasses, and gasped slightly. Now it was her turn to blush. "Oh... I'm sorry. Please excuse me." She went walked beside him and left, surprised to find the person she had taken for a child was a full grown adult.David sighed. It was always worse with the elderly, and especially woman. Having bad eyesight didn't help either. Anyone looking at him clearly would see him as he appeared- an adult, if with some youthful features. However, they often responded to him different on instinct. Older people with maternal or paternal instincts often felt this the strongest, while younger ones often expected him to play games. Combine that with an inability to seem him properly, and sometimes they just assumed.He put the incident out of his head and kept walking. Hopefully no one would notice.He arrived at his house. He called it his house, but it wasn't exactly a house, and wasn't really his. He lived in a section of the bottom floors of a large house that had been divided into apartments, which he rented from the owner. However, the other apartment was unoccupied, meaning he could often come in and go without anyone noticing. This, combined with its proximity to downtown, gave him everything he needed- privacy, ease of use without needing to drive, cheap price. Also, the fact that there was often someone else in the building that he knew was a reassuring thought, especially at night.He unlocked the door and went inside. He walked down the hall, then stopped. There was a sign in front of him saying "lock the door, dummy!" He kicked himself and went back and locked the door. He then went through, past the sign. He stopped again. There was another sign in front of him saying "take of your shoes." He struggled with the laces, eventually kicking them off. As he stood up there was a third sign reading "and your jacket." He took it off and through it on his chair, before scolding himself, picking it up and hanging it properly. He had a closet full of half-haphazardly hung clothes, most of which he bought after reading online about what 'a man should wear' but never actually put on, finding them too uncomfortable or just not thinking about it.He walked up a small flight of stairs and into his bathroom. It was a full bathroom, with white paneled walls reminding him not to take electronics and stuffies into the tub and what to do if anything began to flood. He faced a mirror and put a hand on his belt. He closed his eyes. He never enjoyed this part, and he was feeling anxious.He pulled down his pants then opened his eyes to see a white diaper around his waste. He reached down and felt the plastic, then ticked his toung. Wet. Second day in a row at the gym. Sometimes, if he was calm and not distracted by anything, he could go a few days dry. However, his mind tended to wander, and when it did he would never know. At the gym, when he was straining, it could have happened at any point. He couldn't always even tell afterwards, and finding it here always made him wonder if anyone in the gym or on the long walk back could tell. He shuddered at the thought.At least he wasn't messy, he told himself. He could normally avoid that one, depending on what he ate and how close he was to the bathrooms. It still wasn't perfect, and he wasn't getting any better. It annoyed him now, as modern advances meant he could get diapers that looked just like regular underwear for public use, but there was no way they'd do the job well enough. As it was, his control took a lot of effort, and he only did it when he was in public. Even then, he didn't like it. It felt wrong.He glanced down. There was another reason it took effort. Under the sink, where he stored his diapers, there was a pile of thicker teddy bear printed ab diapers with a note attached reminding him not to wear them out. The rise of the internet, and with it the availability of abdl clothing, had been like a miracle for him. He struggled a moment, the adorable images calling to him, the softness... and stopped. It already difficult to hide the white diapers, and the few times people had noticed were embarrassing enough. He didn't need to have to find a way to hide the extra thick padding or risk someone seeing his teddy bear prints.He took off the wet diaper, thew it out and got in his bath tub. He filled it, cleaned himself, and got out and left the bathroom still naked.He kept an agenda on the small square table in his kitchen, which he now opened. He used his phone to check the date and matched it. He groaned. The agenda was something he had come up with knowing that if he left himself to his own devices he would never get things done. He modeled it off of examples he had found online, letting them replace the authoritative voice of a someone who could make those decisions. He had work again today, which he despised. Why did people spend so much time doing stuff like that when there was so things to play with? But it was what adults had to do, and for now he had to live as an adult.He opened he fridge. There were rows of sweets and pastries, along with peanut butter and different jams. There were also microwavable meals, as it was the only form of cooking he could do without causing a problem, and some... other things. Being an adult also meant he had to eat certain things, which he didn't like. This was something normally someone else should take care of, he thought, someone who knew better and could decide and make him do it... but he was there, so he had to make himself. He grimaced, grabbing a sweet pepper. "One vegetable with every meal," he reminded himself. He closed his nose, opened his mouth and ate it as quickly as he could. He followed it by drinking water from his tap as fast as he could. He then grabbed a piece of cake and ate it with his hands. He shuddered. Eating healthy was annoying.He went into his bedroom. It was large with baby blue walls and a crib that had detachable rails in case someone was visiting. He had hung pictures of video game and comic book characters on each wall, as he had learned adults had art, and most of the room was filled with piles of toys and old clothes. He opened his closet and struggled to ignore his preferred side, with he soft, cute clothing he preferred. Changes in fashion meant that he could sometimes wear one peice pajamas, and it seemed soon rompers would be acceptable. He loved it when things liked that happened. However, neither was appropriate for work. He began by laying out a fresh diaper, making sure it was plain white rather then printed. He poured a liberal amount of powder on it, taped it on, and got up. He then pulled a pair of boxers over it, covering the edge and ensuring a tear in his pants wouldn't be a disaster while muffling the crinkling sound. Next was an undershirt. He put on soft green pants and the required collared shirt, which was blue and striped with white. He found this worked the best- long shirt hung over his waistline, and the undershirt was tucked into his pants in case anything rode up.He then walked back into the bathroom. He sighed. He reached under the sink, and took out the make up.He began with small lines. Tiny changes, so that if it washed off no one would notice, but enough to make a difference. He had tried more drastic changes, but that had ended in disaster after a sudden rain storm. He put lines under his eyes, emphasizing cheekbones, and making his face seem narrower. He then took a comb to his unruly golden hair and used cream to hold it in place. The result was barely noticeable, but subtly added years to his perceived age.He scowled and stomped his foot. IT. WASN"T. FAIR. He hated doing it. Why couldn't he just got out normally? He pictured his face- cherubic was the right word. He could probably play Cupid if called upon, except he didn't know if Cupid would mind. He looked at his waiste, and angrily pulled up the pants which had slid down, revealing the top edge of his diaper despite all his efforts. He'd be dressed the part too. Why couldn't he just go out as is? He had to dress in all these bizarre clothes, doing everything he could to hide the rest of them, to change his face... He began to tear again.He breathed. Throwing temper tantrums wasn't a way to convince anyone he was mature, and the tears would rinse away the make up. People had already began to question things about him, which was never good. He knew he would have to move soon, which almost made him cry again. It was necessary, though. He had to keep moving, and to hide some things. It was one thing if people began to think he hadn't aged in ten years. It was another all together if they realized he hadn't aged in the last twelve thousand.
  6. The Adventures of Alex

    SO I have been on here for a long time now and decided it was about time I wrote a story of my own, so please bare with me as it is my first. It is something that I started to write while on holiday so I hope that you enjoy. The adventures of Alex Who was Alex? Well Alex was what most people thought was a young man entering in the big wide world, free from school and the restraints that they had held over him. For many years he had been told what to do, when to do it and always by others. He had grown up under the strong influence of his mother, whom he loved dearly, but he could never bring himself to tell her his deep down secrets and desires. Alex had been late developing into the young man he was growing into, he was shorter than most, well everyone for his age, his voice had never broken and a genetic disorder had meant that he never grew body hair, only his head held the natural blonde locks that matched his mother. He had been slow to be potty trained, still wetting at night after control during the daytime had been achieved. He was just told by his mother that over time it would sort itself out, but his nigh time wetting would be taken care of by her. So for many years after, night after night, Alex's mother was there to make sure he went to sleep in a nappy and plastic pants, then as time moved on a disposable nappy. Alex's mother was a hard working lady, well respected in the business community, with many friends, but still loved her son more than anything else. She was 6ft tall and literally towered over her son; she made sure that she kept fit, using the gym in the house and the pool on her days off and at weekends. Having made a success of her business at a young age, she always made time for Alex, her mother helping to look after him while he was still a baby. By the time that he was ready for school, she was the one to take him and pick him up every day. This would seem odd to a lot of people as it carried on until he left school, some would have thought him a little mummy’s boy, had it not been for the fact that they lived in the countryside outside the main town and off the bus route. He had his friends in school and got on ok with them, more so with the girls if he where honest about it, but rarely did one ever visit his home, sleepovers being out of the question as he felt too conscious about the bedwetting. When he was younger, at nursery school, he had a few parties as wetting problems happened with a few at that age, so he didn't stand out from the others. So Alex was now free from the restraint of school and just about to turn 18 years old, his mother had asked him if he wanted a party, but he never really was the party person. Instead he asked if he could have a vacation somewhere quiet away from the world, but by the sea, where he could just chill out and relax away from everything. There he would have time to think about what his future held, decide what to go on to do regarding work or further education. But also he would have some time alone to let his little side out. This was Alex's big secret that he hoped no-one had found out about, or if they had, they had not said anything to him. Deep down, Alex was still that little boy, he had never really grown up and loved all the time he spent with his mother, he missed the time when she looked after him night after night. But over time he had become used to getting himself ready for bed, it was only natural that as he grew he would take more responsibility. He wanted so much for his mother to do this, but could never build up the courage to ask. So here he was going away on his own for the first time without "mummy", but it would give him chance to wear his nappy during the day if he wanted. He would have them with for night time use, so why not try them during the day as well; maybe he would get those feelings back from when he was younger that he craved so much. His mother was not overly surprised when he refused the offer of the party, so was more than happy for him to have his holiday that he asked for instead. Unknown to Alex, his mother had begun to realise that deep down she was missing having her "little boy" around. She loved looking after him when he was younger but as time went by, she knew she had to release the aprons strings a little and let him develop. His mothers had become a success in the computer industry with her own business, so giving Alex a computer for his school use fine, but she never let on to him that she could remotely access it. So from time to time she found herself checking up on what he had been researching, then purely by accident one day she found one of the sites he had been looking at, then the links to some of the stories he had been reading. She could see that he was reading about "little ones" who still had their mummy even when they were grown up, or little ones that had found and sought out a new mummy. As much as this hurt, she knew that to push would be a mistake, causing her to push him further away or worse still lose him. She decided that he could go on his vacation, let him think for a while but then let him decide what would happen next. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  7. Wearing in public

    Hi guys. Wondering if you could wear this in public. Im from the UK if that helps.
  8. This story first came into my mind this winter. I wrote out a chapter of it but...that was it. I didn't really know what to do with it. I didn't like the narration style after repeated readings, my characterization seemed off, and it just didn't sit right with me. So I did a page one rewrite and this is the result. I hope it's better, and I hope you think so too. This started out as a novella, but it's grown into a novel. It won't be a quick read. It may not be everyone's style, but I hope if you want some ABDL themed, realistic fiction with plot, characters, arcs, mystery, betrayal, love and all those other things you find in novels, then I hope you give this a chance. I will be updating a chapter per week until the eventual conclusion at what I've planned to be chapter 20. The only week I may not hold to that is this coming one, I have a minor surgery scheduled and don't know how much it will affect my writing, but don't imagine it will impact it positively. Anywho, without further ado, the first four chapters of the new and improved 'LilBrat'. Chapter 1 Veronica could barely tune into the teachers lecture, she could barely focus on her work, she was shaking with anticipation and anxiety alike. "Soon," she thought to herself. She kept stealing glances up at the clock. So very close to lunch break. Her bladder pulsed a steady aching pressure through her lower torso. So very close and she'd complete her dare. When the bell finally did ring, Veronica did her best to appear as nonchalant as possible. She felt like everyone around her must hear the slight crinkle, but yet she'd made it to the middle of third block and no one seemed to have noticed anything unusual. It gave her some relief, but the day wasn't over yet. The riskiest part was upon her. She carefully, time consumingly placed her books for the class in her messenger bag, taking care to not let how she really felt be seen through the facade she was putting up. She had to keep calm, act normal and be unnoticed. Her secret weapon for the day was the parka she slung over her shoulders. The coat hung off her like a cape and ended just above her knees. It had been her dads until he... moved, then it became hers. Rather than a normal parka like her classmates wore, this was a N-3B army winter weather gear parka. Dad's was vintage, from one of the many surplus stores in the area. He'd made quite a few non-regulation modifications to it, such as the extra quilting that had been sewn inside or the patches from 80s and 90s punk and indy bands that lined the arms that were so long, Veronica had to roll them up a few times to get them above her forearms. The coat was clearly made for someone taller than five foot even and enveloped the miniature senior. It still smelled sweetly like cigarette smoke and cologne even though dad hadn't worn it in almost a year. Veronica was in no hurry to get rid of that nostalgic smell. Out in the hallway, the nylon parka swished each time the tail bounced off of her knees. Even though it was in the mid thirties today and parka's weren't quite necessary yet, the coat helped mask the crinkling sound Veronica knew she made with each step. She fought her way through the throng of students in the hall, side-stepping and weaving and making certain that no even accidentally bumped into her. The nightmare scenario was getting knocked down, falling on the floor and in front of everyone having her tee shirt ride up and expose the periwinkle plastic that peaked just out over the waistband of her jeans. With a belly full of butterflies, she ducked into the second floor girls bathroom. The bathroom was crowded, but Veronica did find one stall, far the to the back and darted in. She sat down on the toilet with her pants still pulled above her waist, taking deep breaths to calm herself and still the adrenaline blasting through her. There was a hard knock on the door. Veronica's first thought was to shout occupied, but she stayed quiet. The knocked eventually went away. She gave a wry grin at the idea that stress might cause her to start the dare too early. After a few minutes of waiting in silence, the bathroom began to empty out. She waited a minute after hearing the last pair of feet walk out, counting to a full '60' before realizing she was as safe as she could hope to be. She stood up and undid her jeans, sliding them along with her green and purple boyshorts down her waist revealing the secret she'd kept hidden all day. A pair of 4T-5T, light purple girls 'Cool Alert' Pull-Ups. The Princesses Elsa and Anna smiled up from the juvenile undergarment. With trembling hands, Veronica fished her cell from her jeans pocket and took the first pictures of the dry Pull-Up. Once she found one she was happy with, she opened the photo app on the phone and began the upload to Tumblr. "Wearing to school! So nervous all day!†#ABDL #TBDL #PullUps #LilBrat #TruthOrDarTuesday" She grimaced a bit at her message that went along with the photo. It was all true of course, but it felt like someone else was typing it. Someone who liked exclamation points and lots of hashtags. Really, someone else was. LilBrat was writing it for her throngs of followers. The followers who loved her and her cute pictures and her cute little persona. LilBrat was optimistic, playful, cheerful, and confident. Veronica wouldn't use any of those words to describe her self. With the upload complete, she returned to her camera app and began the next, more dangerous part of the dare. She took a few deep breaths and repeated a mantra in her head, "You're sitting on the toilet, everything is normal, it's not going to leak." Slowly, at first, and then the rivulet became a steady stream. She felt the warmth spread and wrap around her. Veronica didn't understand why she savored such an odd sensation, but she did. She had first felt it five years ago, during the tail end of a bout with bed wetting. She just knew that it made her feel wild and calm and strong and weak and all sorts of wonderful, wild contradictions. Weirdly, it made her remember those nights when her dad got up at 3:45 every morning, earlier than necessary to make it to post by his 5 a.m. report time, to check on her, and help her to the bathroom if she was still dry and console her if she wasn't. Her satisfaction faded whenever she started thinking about her dad. Those memories, all her memories, brought her a deep nostalgia. Not in a, 'remember how great things were 'X' years ago way', but in the classic Greek way. Every joy became a wound just about one year ago. She took a few pictures before finding one that looked good. She really had 'Let it Go', all the snow flakes had melted away and the cooling action set in. Still, it wasn't quite enough to sap the heat that she basked in or that burned deep inside her. It was so simple, so relaxing, so good. No wonder LilBrat was happier than her, this was LilBrat's life. Adoring fans and the simple, strange pleasure of wet pull-ups. She reopened the picture in the viewer and began it's upload. "'Wore 'Em and Wet 'Em, So Read 'Em and Weep!' #ABDL #TBDL #PullUps #Wet #LilBrat #TruthOrDareTuesday." She gave a small grin at that. Likes and reblogs were already coming in on her previous picture. "You are just so cute!" "What a big brave girl you are." "Can I be youre daddy? Your a real cutie " "Don't Get Caught " "Nudes?" "face pix sometime? Please??" "Messy Pix PLEASE!!!" Even the weird comments made her happy. Someone out there liked her enough to say so. Even if it was LilBrat they liked, Veronica absorbed some of that self esteem with every comment. There were people out there who liked her. Once the urine had absorbed into the pull-up, Veronica pulled her boyshorts and jeans back up before slipping back into her cavernous parka and opening the stall door. "Why not give them something else," she thought? The mood had taken her and after being anxious all morning, the satisfaction of completing the dare laid out by random Tumblr followers gave her the courage to take another, more risky pic. Walking across the the sinks and the bathroom mirror, Veronica fished the phone back from her pocket and opened the camera one more time. She held the phone out, obscuring her face in the mirror with it, and with her other hand she hiked up the front of her shirt, exposing once again the periwinkle sliver that stuck up over her jeans. A second later and a third picture was taken. Before it even showed up on the display screen though, the door opened. Veronica quickly shoved the phone into one of the many exterior pockets of the voluminous parka as the girls walked in. If it had to be anyone it had to be them, The Bitch Clique themselves. Kim Chandler was their leader and on everyday's she work pink. At least pink something. A more genial shade of scarlet than Veronica felt herself beginning to sport. Kim had all the ingredients of being a mega-bitch; rich, captain of the cheerleading team, perpetually oranged from tanning. She didn't have to say anything to be intimidating and put you in 'your place', her presence was enough. Flanking her, were her two sidekicks. Emily Duke and Taylor McNamara. Emily was a little less everything than Taylor. A little less blonde, a little less orange, a little less pretty, a little less thin, a little bit smaller boobs. Veronica had made a good few years by keeping her head down. These three had a reputation for ruthlessness that made anyone want to stay out of their way. She disliked them and was intimidated by them, but her true ire was for the one to the right of Kim. At 5'7 she towered over not just Veronica but stood well above the other two as well. She was pretty in a way that hinted at how hard she tried to be pretty. Her skin was shiny with make up. Her curly blonde hair started out life neither curly, nor blonde. Her smile had obviously made an orthodontist very, very happy at some point in her life. And her body had been sculpted into perfection by years of dancing. Veronica knew all this, because at one point, she knew the real Taylor McNamara. She had been best friends with a gangly girl with a mousy face sprouting frizzy brown hair and thin lips hiding gaped teeth. Veronica was even beside her in a picture from over a decade ago in their beginning ballet leotards. Veronica moved away first seven years ago, then ended up in Alaska five years ago. The thing that had eaten Taylor showed up two years ago and wanted nothing to do with her former best friend. Veronica didn't know if it was fear or urine they smelled, but Kim's eyes lit up and the daggers came out. “I didn't know we were doing Junior High visits today? Are you lost little girl?†Kim cooed at her. Veronica burned bright red with humiliation. What shamed her wasn't the comment, it was feeling the comment so much. She'd felt so good after posting the photos, but here, without her phone covering her face and being mocked by these three girls, her joy turned to ash. The very things that made her like herself as LilBrat; her petite build, flat chest and diminutive height were the things that made her loathe how she looked as Veronica Klein. She became keenly aware of all the parts of herself that she didn't like. Her Grecian nose became huge and her strong jaw because mannish in her minds eye. Her now wet pull-up made more noise now the factory that made it did. "Aww, she's shy."They all began to fake coo, their voices dripping with condescension. Even Taylor. Even Fucking Hateful-Taylor. "I don't think you belong here little girl, maybe in a few years you'll be big and grown up enough to be here." The all giggled, the trio had organized into a semi-circle behind Veronica, trapping her. "Say something!" She screamed internally. "Say something! Just stand up for yourself for once!" Veronica washed her hands in silence, with her head down. When she was finished she was forced to push through the half circle of taunting girls. All 90 something pounds of her bony body took a body check and bounced off the little bit bigger Emily Duke. "Oops, look out Little Girl." She snidely teased in her displaced southern accent. It had a subtle twang to it that indicated Texas to Veronica. She had spent some time in Kileen around Fort Hood and in her 'travels' had developed an ear for accents. Rather than pushing through Emily Duke, she pushed through the tall girl who had once been the gangly, mousey girl. With her head bowed, she pushed through and made for the halls, face blazing and ears ringing with the lingering laughs. "Those eyes" she thought as she made for the common area, "those fucking eyes." What was behind them hurt and angered and cowed Veronica more than anything. Deep behind those eyes she could almost see the girl she'd adventured around Torii station with saying sorry to her. She hated that part almost as much as she hated the Thing That Ate Taylor. The commons area was decked out in crimson and gold, banners hung from one wall announcing past sports championships. Paper banners with phrases like "Go Wolves" or "WVHS" or "The Kings in the North!" had been drawn up and hung of the balcony and stair landings by the cheerleaders to get the school excited for hockey season beginning later in the week. "Idiots, I wonder if they actually know what happened to the King in the North or if they just think it sounds cool" she grumbled under her breath. On the other wall were columns of graduating class photos. "Not too much longer now" Veronica thought as her eyes swept those portraits. "Little more than six months," she though, "Just six more and I'm free. I get to leave Fairbanks and never have to see any of them ever again." She'd already begun looking for colleges, preferably ones that would let her study abroad. She wanted to go back to Okinawa and feel the warm, humid sub-tropical wind blow in from the sea and visit all the shops in Okinawa city where they went at least once a month growing up. She'd lived eight years on the island where all of her firsts remained. Her first crush, first lost tooth, first sleep overs and first friends. Then some so-and-so retired and dad was the only one to get Dix back up to speed. Then it was Hood, then it was Campbell, until it after two more cities it was Fairbanks. The commons area was crowded with people, most had settled down for lunch at the tables but Veronica was headed for the outside. An snowy early November had dumped some two feet outside and today was the first day where it was warm enough, at a balmy 34 degrees, for the school to allow students outside during lunch. That meant that her friend Alex would be out with her boyfriend at the hackey sack circle that formed every time they got to go out. Outside, Alex Baldwin was sticking tight to the side of her boyfriend, Benji Machado. She was a tiny, chipmunk cheeked Athabaskan girl with bolts of hot pink streaking through her short dark hair. He was originally from San Diego, his mom joined up with the air force and after being bounced around, he ended up here. He was the prototypical slacker, but Alex liked everything about him, from his lean, muscular body to the fact that he could play guitar in a loose collection of guys that called themselves a punk band. "I think they even like when they fight", Veronica thought as the couple were famously on and off. "Hey Ronnie!" Alex shouted and gave a big, energetic wave. Alex was all energy. "The better to balance out my lethargy." Veronica mused. "Hey yo, Ronica" Benji broke in,"you mind running back in and getting a few of us some drinks?" The circle had swelled to twelve people, and four nodded along with Machado. Veronica shrugged and dropped her messenger bag by the wall and went around, taking orders and two dollars at a time from each person before trudging back into the commons. "Thank's Ronnie!" Benji shouted over her shoulder as the door closed behind her. She ended up feeding ten dollars into the drink machines and brought back three Mountain Dews, a Pepsi, and a diet Mountain Dew (she assumed for another one of the circle members girlfriends). She got herself a water as well and headed back outside, juggling six 20 ounce bottles in her arms. Halfway back, one slipped and fell to the floor. One of the Mountain Dew's rolled over towards the table that she would like to go towards even less than the Bitch Clique table. The hockey teams. Seeing an opportunity to be a jerk, Corey, another brat from somewhere in the south by way of Kansas, stood up from the table and gave the bottle a running soccer kick. The bottle exploded from the force and was shot up, hitting the second floor balcony. Cheers and laughter rang out. He pumped his arms and flexed, making a show of it as he got taken off to the office. Knowing the reputation that the West Valley Wolves hockey boys had, he'd get off free, hell the principal and him might even share a joke. Veronica just stood still with her vision locked on her Converse as the laughter died down, burning again from the inside. "Hey," she looked up to see a face that had been a fixture in her mind since sophomore year looking back at her, "that was a shit thing Corey did." It was Peter Bonham, her brothers former 'protege' from when he was captain of the Wolves and the current captain of the WVHS team. "Can I get you something else maybe? Make up for it?" Veronica's mouth didn't work in Peter's presence so she just nodded. Peter was tall, broad shouldered and nicely muscled with an always smirking, always stubbled boyish face coated in the same red gold hair that formed a short tangle of thick curls. He'd always been nice to her because at one point he'd practically idolized her older brother Mark. Nice was all it was though and Veronica knew that Peter didn't see her the way she'd seen him for three and a half years. As she walked quietly behind him words rung in her mind. Sorry for your loss Veronica.†The hug as she cried all alone in the reception room at the viewing. Coming back to school. The note. You think he likes you!?The teasing. The mocking. Someone like him would never like you! The teasing. The mocking. The kiss on her forehead in a quite room. "Pepsi again?" Peter shook her out of her thoughts with his question. "Oh,"she said startled, "Yeah." He put two dollars into the machine, the Pepsi popped out and he handed it to her and off he went. Off Veronica went too, this time without any jocks punting carbonated footballs onto the second floor catwalk. Back outside, Alex was too busy chasing the hackey sack up and down the snowy hill whenever it was flung away to pay much attention to Veronica. She passed out drinks and slouched down by her messenger bag to read. It caught her eye that her wallet had slid out of the pockets of her coat. She grabbed it and stuffed in an interior pocket this time. The downside to the N-3B was it was so baggy, stuff had a habit of slipping out from time to time. She reached into her bag for the book, it had been one of dads. It was by Arthur C. Clarke and had these aliens in it that looked like devils. They'd just revealed themselves and it was really starting to pick up. If she didn't have Alex to talk to, she'd rather finish it than gossip and small talk with the girlfriends of the other players in the circle. Lunch was over soon and Veronica followed Alex as she skipped inside. Alex had no other means of locomotion than skipping, aside from possibly bouncing. Veronica kept pace with a trudging march. "Did you get you're Spanish done?" Alex asked as they stopped at her locker. "Yeah, it was pretty easy. Just some vocab work." Veronica said. "Awesome!" Alex cheered, "Can I see it before Mrs. Simmons takes it up at the end of class? Word is were not doing ANYTHING today in there." She rolled her eyes. Doing nothing in Mrs. Simmons' Spanish class meant watching telenovellas while she caught up on her grading. "You can look at it Alex, but it's vocab. Writing sentences? At least come up with some of your own this time, you got us both caught last time." Alex frowned, although not because of what Veronica had said or reminded her of, more because what she wasn't saying in the distant, pensive tone she replied in. "You OK, V? You seem depressed. Like, more than usually so." Beneath her sunny, carefree slacker outer shell, she was more perceptive and intelligent that she let on. Veronica sighed and shrugged. "I'm fine." Alex knew it wasn't true but left it at that. Don't worry, I'll be back from Korea as soon as I get their mess all sorted out. They just need a good 25B I.T. guy to come in and write the ship and get the phone lines working again. Don't know how they made such a mess of it. I'll have to stay another week. How 'bout we all go something as a family when I get back, haven't had a vacation in a long time. Miss you Ronnie, love you. Yes, we can Skype everyday dear. Two men in dress uniform at the door. 'We're sorry to inform you but Richard Klein...' Mom crying. Mark punching a wall. Me. Numb. 343 days ago. 11 months and 8 days ago. 11 months, 13 days ago, Peter Bonham in the quiet room. You look lovely. Your father would have loved this. You're so strong. No. "How could I expect her to keep up with the date" Veronica thought. In class, she skimmed 'Childhood's End', her mind fixated on the anniversary that awaited her. Her encounter with Peter had stirred memories she devoted a good deal of conscious attention to not thinking about. Beside her, Alex paraphrased the vocabulary sentences as best she could without getting them both caught. The telenovella was playing loudly on the giant, school issue CRD TV that had been wheeled in on the giant, school issue cart. Rather than continue skimming, and with Mrs. Simmons clearly not paying attention, Veronica went to her coat pocket to pull out her phone and begin using the internet. Her hand probed the outer right pocket of the coat but only found a few dollars in mixed cash and change, a wallet and her house keys. A search of the outer left pocket revealed nothing at all. Veronica checked her jeans pockets, the inner pockets, and even the floor around her. It was gone. Her phone, with her pictures on it, was gone. Chapter 2. Veronica was on edge for the rest of the day. It would have been bad enough to only lose the phone, but the pictures on it were what concerned her most. If they got out..she didn't even want to think about the consequences. After Mrs. Simmons and her telenovellas, she went down to the school principal's office and made a report with the secretary and, after the requisite admonishment that students were not to have phones outside of lockers during class hours, a report was taken; type of phone, casing, the works. She'd be notified if it turned up in the lost and found. On the bus ride home, her mind was partially calmed by a fact she previously hadn't considered. Her phone was screen locked, only someone who could guess her password could even have a chance to see the photos inside. At home, she would use the 'Find My Phone' app and track it down. With her phone back and with the password protection in place, there was no realistic chance that any of those photos would be seen. "Unless someone guessed the password" she thought. It was simple enough to have her birthday be the phone lock password, but unless someone knew her birthday was January 1st, 1998 there was little chance of them arriving at '1198' based on a guess. The idea that it was out there and she didn't know where it was had gone from existentially terrifying to just ruining her day. Worst case scenario now, she imagined, was having to pay for a new phone and listen to her mother lecture her about being more responsible if it didn't turn back up. The gray sky was beginning to spit flurries again. It had stopped shortly after lunch, but now it was beginning to pile up. Veronica's Conserve sunk through the clean white powder, letting the old gray snow creep in through the eyelets on her sneakers and soak her thermal socks. They had been a bad choice, but soon, snow-boots would become the hot new item for everyone in town and she wanted to wear her Chucks until the last possible moment. The walk home was uncomfortable and reminded her of how happy she was that it was all almost over. 'Dad's Home!' The thought reflexively burst into her mind when she saw her older brother's truck parked in the driveway rather than plugged in and left running in the garage. It was a thought that made her curse herself. It just meant that Jordan was having someone over and let them take the garage. Or maybe Jordan had went hunting? He'd talked about making one last go before the season ended for a bit now. Or, likely as anything, he pulled the car out so he could light up in the garage and mom wouldn't smell it in the house. Typical. Before coming inside, she checked the mailbox. Nothing, at least for her. Mom got stuff, bank statements and invites to seminars and conferences. Jordan got a few things, a bank statement and video game magazines, but nothing for Veronica. The wait was worse than the SAT had been. Somewhere out there, acceptance letters from Stanford, University of Hawaii, University of Washington and University of Georgia (as well as her fall back letter from University of Alaska, Fairbanks) were out there, taking their sweet time arriving due to a combination of geography and a hateful universe. The house was just like every other house in their loose 'neighborhood', really it was just a street with a few other families scattered at intervals. They spoke occasionally, and Jordan shoveled the old neighbors driveway but that's as close to neighborhood as it got. Just a stop on the bus route. They all were thoroughly winterized, with steep sloped roofs and detached garages so you could plug in your car and leave it running without the whole house dying of carbon monoxide poisoning, all so the engine wouldn't freeze when true winter set in. It was a relief that part of her expected scholarship money that would be buying her first car, would be spent buying one that didn't need battery plug ins, four wheel drive and snow tires. Climbing the steps, she took a moment to brush snow off the Maneki Neko statue that sat by the door and at one point had guarded their shoes when they lived in an area where leaving your shoes outside was possible. 'Momma! Daddy! It's soo cute! Can we please get it! Please, please, please!' She smiled at the weathered old thing, as well as her memories of the eight year Brat who made a fuss over it in store in Okinawa city that sold kitsch to servicemen and their families. Wherever she ended up, she'd take it with her so it could guard her shoes once more in a place where they wouldn't be filled with ice and slush if left outside. The first noise she heard when she entered the room, was a gun shot. Then her brother laughing and his friend swearing. "Fucking team-killing camper!" Dalton growled at Jordan who was cackling. Both barely took notice of her quietly come inside, shucking off her shoes by the door to dry. The only one who said anything was Cassie, Dalton's girlfriend, who sat beside him on the couch with quiet the evident bump under her shirt and a cigarette in her hand. "Hey Ronnie." She said over the noise of the boys and their Call of Duty match. Veronica nodded acknowledgment and Cassie nodded back. Then she went back to reading her book. After passing all day at school, Veronica became nervous again. The idea of wearing in front of her family was terrifying and yet thrilling. Still, she was in a hurry to get changed. Her sneakers weren't the only thing now full of cold water. Wetting in public on a 20 something degree day had possibly been ill advised. "Sup, Ronnie." Jordan said, not taking his eye of the game as Veronica moved through the living room to the kitchen for a soda. "Hey, don't get anything to eat, OK? Mom called, she's doing pizza after work." "OK." Veronica said. Pizza sounded good, but she wasn't much interested in talking at the moment. At least not until she got changed. Dalton bothered her too. He was Jordan's best friend and was always OK to her, but he rubbed her wrong. He was underachieving personified, totally happy with working in his dad's grocery, getting stoned and going hunting. He had been the goalie for the Wolves and taken them to two state championships at a varsity level and one final at a JV level. He was still a legend around WVHS. He was also the guy who still went to prom two years after graduating. Alone it wouldn't be anything that bothered her. What bothered her were those words also applied to Jordan unsettlingly well. When she knew that the announcement of the pizza was all the conversation they had in mind for her, she quietly made her way down the hall to her room, leaving the boys to continue to cheer and swear and have a great time. Her mind lingered back to Emily and the baby. Dalton wasn't the greatest boyfriend, and still living like a high schooler, with a fiance and a child on the way, further detracted from her opinion on him. Veronica wished Jordan would find new friends. He was as smart as she was, talented too. He had been a lock for a U of A hockey scholarship, but a bad check halfway into his senior season ruined that. Two surgeries and he still had a limp noticeable only if you knew to look for it. He still went to U of A on a partial academic, she knew, but what she didn't know is if he still went to classes when he visited the campus. Back in her room, Veronica hung her coat up on the rack on the door. She liked having it in here and smelling that thick nicotine perfume mixed with her, from a bottle, perfume. The walls were covered in posters, a cork board pinned with photos, book shelves and DVD racks, burdened by her original collection and swelled from her father's inheritance. These fought for space alongside the wall with kitsch accumulated from her travels. Lots of trinkets or mementos from mainly Okinawa city but her other 'home towns' as well were crowed onto shelves or dressers. Her bed was full sized and took up much of the small, windowless room. Sitting on the purple and gray comforter was the only stuffie that she let it be known publicly that she owned; a soft, weathered stuffed calico cat named Gypsy Jr. she gotten after the death of her childhood family pet eight years ago. She had a few more hidden away under the bed and deep in the closet, but Gypsy Jr. was her not only her favorite but her most frequent 'LilBrat' picture partner. Boxes of her dads old vinyls sat at the floor of the closet where she searched for something new to put on. Eventually, she settled on a gray pullover, with some pajama pants from the dresser. Only with her coat off did she catch a full reflection in the mirrored sliding doors of the closet. The coat had been a wise choice, her dark jeans were darkened further with two, tell tale streaks that traced the curves of her butt. "Damn." She muttered. Of course she had leaked. Still, she was thankful for the coat. "Covering up for me like always. Thanks for the help, Dad" she said before giving a nod to the coat and then feeling both ridiculous and sentimental but mostly ridiculously sentimental. The anniversary was less than a month away though, she was counting the days and each day the shadow of that date loomed larger. Her father took up more of her thoughts and reminded her how truly not over it she was. She slid the jeans down her narrow waist. The boy shorts from earlier were soaked through. Honestly, she was surprised she showed so little on her jeans. It looked to the world like she must have sat in a puddle. If she had the courage that LilBrat had, she'd go to the store and buy some Goodnites. Or at least something better for daytime wear than a 4T-5T Pull-Up or a Size 6 diaper. Small though she was, she still had a bladder capacity that was more than those options could handle. Of course an almost 18 year old buying Pull-Ups didn't raise eyebrows. It could be for a sibling, babysitting, even their own kid. An 18 year old buying Goodnites or Depends would be much more conspicuous. She judged them as unsalvageable and pulled those off along with the pull-up she had flooded. She was tempted to take a picture of the aftermath, but was bitterly reminded how the location of her phone was currently unknown. She tossed the jeans in her hamper and neutralized any odor with a blast of Febreeze. Both pairs of underwear were tied off in a Fischer's grocery sack and tossed under her bed to await trash day. She'd learned years ago, that a shower in the morning was not something practical above the arctic circle, and it only took a few times of having her hair freeze at the bus stop to get the message. Therefore, every day after school was her shower time. In the bathroom mirror, her reflection wasn't nearly as terrible as she'd made her self out to be. She was cute, she thought, unconventionally so maybe but she wasn't the manly, big nosed ogre that the Bitch Clique and Hateful Taylor made her feel like. Everyone always told her she looked like her dad. It was true enough, he'd the same strong jaw, prominent nose, and cool blue eyes. They both may have even had the same hair, although Veronica never saw her fathers longer than a few fractions of an inch, her's was the same coal black but so thick and willful as to be barely manageable as anything but a tied back ponytail or pig tails. 'Daddy. Yeah Kiddo? You know how people always say that I look like you. Of course. Well...Well what? Do people ever say you look like me too?' He laughed, big and booming. The memory made the seven year old who asked it smile and the seventeen year old who remembered it wince. They only had three milestones left. Three, 'firsts without dad'; the first was Thanksgiving and that was nine days away, the first anniversary of death on December 10th and the first anniversary of the funeral on December 15nd. She had been too numb to appreciate until after it had happened that her first 'first' without her dad had been Christmas. The first anniversary of him going to Korea and leaving them behind hurt bad and with these three big 'firsts' so close, Veronica just hoped that after the last 'first' she'd have an easier time. Maybe then the memories wouldn't sting as much? After her time in the shower, she made for her room and opened up her lap top to open up the Find My iPhone app. The results were less than helpful, a one mile in diameter circle somewhere downtown. So someone had found it. Unfortunately, downtown Fairbanks was pretty much all of Fairbanks. The city straddled the Tanana river but mostly existed as a long string of buildings and homes on Interstate 4, filling in the distance between Ladd Army Air base, the College, and the Airport. Branching off from that strip of interstate, were mostly residential neighborhoods. Downtown, in a small city like this, could mean anywhere. Tension coiled her stomach into a knot again. It wasn't just lost, someone had taken it. "They can't get inside though," she tried to reassure herself. Only if they knew her birthday. A random hit was unlikely. Still, she had to do something proactive just in case. As much as she didn't want to tell her mom she'd lost her phone and beg for a replacement, she needed to get a new one and get her current phone turned off as soon as possible. "There may be another way." Veronica crept quietly on stocking feet back into the living room. Jordan and Dalton were still team killing in their death match and Emily seemed to have made more progress on her Marlboro than her novel. Veronica stood silent in the doorway for a moment, unnoticed by the trio. "Jordan," she started, "Jordan," she said again, but louder this time. "Yeah?" He answered, not taking his eyes from the game. She saw on his screen how he effortlessly picked off targets and heard Dalton laugh at the slurs that came back at them over their headsets. The game bothered her. They both knew enough families with parents or siblings who never made it back home that it couldn't help but make her uncomfortable. "Can I borrow you're phone?" "Nope." He clicked his tongue against his cheek while saying it. "Come on, mine has no battery life and I gotta make a call." "Too bad. Plug it in and wait." "You can use mine, Ronnie." Cassie put down the book and fished into her purse, tossing Veronica her phone. "Thanks, Cas." Emily nodded and went back to half reading, half watching. Back in her room, Veronica tried twice to call her phone, but both times it went straight to voice mail. No use leaving voicemail, if they couldn't get into the phone they couldn't listen to it. She sighed, maybe someone would return it? She thought that only for a moment, more like once they found out they couldn't figure out the password, they'd sell it and make a few bucks. If no one returned it tomorrow, it was time to start looking for a new phone. "Might get an upgrade at least," she thought, trying to see a bright side in all of this, before taking the phone back to Casise. Back in her room, she felt an urge to do anything but homework. In her second block English class they'd been given some reading and questions to answer. It was early, but senioritis was slowly starting to take root. That and the knot of worry in her gut made her want to do anything but write a 3-4 page paper on Ibsen. Netflix, YouTube, Crunchyrole, her 3DS or any of her inherited DVD collection sounded more appealing. Still, Veronica dutifully closed her lap top and began her assignment. None of those things clawed at the backdoor of her mind like the things she kept under the bed did as she tried to focus on the duller than anticipated assignment. Ibsen might have been saying something radical at the time, but over a century of social progress made it hard to lose herself in 'A Doll's House.' Every time her mind wandered; it did so to videos or computer games or the phone she didn't have, but Tumblr and her under-the-bed-box held outsizes place in her thinking. Taking a quick break, she put her text aside on the bed and opened her computer again. She sat cross legged on the bed and scrolled through all her new comments. Dozens of likes in a few hours. It was worth it and it made her feel good. Of course, it only drew her more to the under-the-bed-box. Unfortunately she had to be careful while she still lived at home, tossing out only at most three a week in the garbage. That wouldn't be a problem this time next year, then she could wear as often as she liked. And not just Pull-Ups, but with own address she could get the real thing. But for now, stealth was key. Before she could drag herself back to her homework, she heard the door to the house open. "Veronica! Pizza's here!" Her mother shouted down the hallway. She heard the Xbox go silent in the living room soon after. Veronica sat aside her computer and left her room, shuffling down the tile floored hall toward the kitchen. "There you are, slip some boots on please and help with the groceries? If you and Jordan do it, it should only take two trips. Thanks, Veronica." Mom's gaze never even turned to Veronica, she was preoccupied with juggling the three pizza boxes and a few grocery bags held around her elbow. Cassie had taken some two liter sodas off of her hands and was trying to be helpful. Dalton waited on the couch. Veronica slid into her snow-boots and followed after her big brother. He was on his way back in loaded with 14 bags hanging from hands and fingers and elbows. Dad had been stocky and strong, and Jordan inherited that in spades. But he was also tall, topping out at 6'3, he was an outlier in a family where Dad was 5'8, Mom was 5'2, and Veronica stood just a smidgen shy of five foot even. He had moms sandy hair, which was shaggy on both his head and on his face but had taken both mom and dad's eyes it seemed. They were mom's hazel but needed glasses like Dad and Veronica did. His broad chest and stomach paunch completed the retired high school athlete look. Still, he hadn't lost any strength. "Left you the easy stuff sis, hurry up." He told her as he strode past with his barely noticeable limp, carrying all of those Fischer's sacks like nothing. It was true. Four sacks remained for Veronica, one of which contained just eggs and the other just bread. She stood on her tip toes to close the hatchback on her mom's SUV and with some effort pulled it shut. There, staring her in the face even as she tried to avert her eyes, was the red ribbon. A scarlet gash across the back window that always turned her stomach. Mom had become big about stroke awareness, she even wore the red ribbon pinned to her blazer at work. It just made Veronica ill to look though. Back inside, the boxes were opened on the kitchen island and Jordan, Dalton and Cassie had begun to help themselves. Rene Klein hung back though, preparing drinks and waiting for her daughter to return. Her sandy hair was salted white from the falling snow and frosting from middle age. Snow also dusted the red blazer she wore to her realty job. She was short like Veronica but rather than being rail thin she was plump and matronly. They both finished putting the groceries away before Rene spoke up. "Thanks for the help Veronica." Veronica just nodded. "I got a few kinds. The two Supreme's with the reindeer sausage for the boys and a spicy pepperoni for us. Go get us our plates while I change out of my blazer, OK?" She both got their plates and once Rene arrived at the table they ate quietly while the boys carried on. Soon, a break happened in the conversation for Rene to get a word in. "So, boys, how was the hunting today?" Rene must have known that any trip out into the woods was either short or nonexistent. Jordan gave a noncommittal shrug before Dalton spoke up. "Didn't go. Em came with me and we didn't want to leave her alone, so we just stayed and hung out. We're off tomorrow, we'll probably go out then." Rene shook her head and sighed. "We'll, you better get something soon. Season's almost at an end and we've got almost nothing in the deep freezer. Unless either of you want to go to Fischer's on your off day to bring me groceries in a blizzard, then maybe you all should get to it, huh?" Now Rob and Jordan both shrugged. Her tone conveyed more irritation and resignation than perhaps she may have meant it too. "The pizza's really good." Cassie spoke up, "thanks for letting us stay for dinner. It feels like we had to save every penny for months now. I almost forgot how good it all was hot." Rene was much warmer to Cassie than she was to the two boys. "Thank you Cassie, although your co-workers at College Town deserve the praise more than me. About how much longer is it now?" Emily swallowed and smiled and placed her hand across her distended belly. "Six weeks I guess. Maybe two months. The doctor says she's ahead of schedule. I don't know if we're ready though. I'd really like to be off SNAP before she gets here though." All eyes turned to Dalton who glowered back at Emily for a second before shifting his gaze to his food. "You know, there's a lot of options out there. Richard was in the army for years and it was a good life for us. It's definitely worth considering." This time, Rene looked just as much at Dalton as she did at Jordan. With both Dalton and Jordan cowed momentarily and nursing wounded pride, Emily ate quietly. Soon, Dalton and Jordan did pick up a conversation again which allowed Rene and Veronica to talk. "How was school today?" Rene began. Veronica could see the exhaustion in her eyes and in the lines of her face. Ancient laugh lines with frown lines built over them and crows feet around her eyes. Still, she was pretty. Her fair features were weathered but not eroded by time and stress and dying and death. "It was fine." Veronica lied. School had been stressful, it had been exciting for reasons she couldn't let her mother know, and it had been frustrating for losing her phone. Rene didn't seem entirely satisfied with such a vague answer, but she nodded. "Any homework tonight?" "Yeah." Veronica answered. "Well, get it done soon please." "I will, right after dinner." After a short pause, Rene broached a subject Veronica didn't think she'd bring up, at least not with company, oblivious to their quiet side conversation as they may be. "How are YOU doing? It's almost the first Thanksgiving." "Mom, I'm fine OK." Veronica said, the defensive tone obvious to Rene. Still, she didn't push. "Alright, if you say you're fine, that's OK. But if you do want to talk-" "Mom, I don't." Veronica interrupted. Rene kept talking though, although this time in a slightly sharper tone of annoyance at being cut off. "- we can call the TAPS councilor any time. You liked Doctor Fleming at the the Veteran Center right? And I really love Doctor Keith, she's great." "I don't need anyone Mom, I'm OK, I promise." Veronica said, before changing the subject away from her. "What are we doing for Thanksgiving this year?" "Dad said you all were welcome to join us at our place." Dalton interjected. The thought of spending the Holiday with Dalton didn't particularly appeal to her. It mustn't to her mother either. "Thank-you, Dalton, but we'll probably do it just the three of us." Dalton gave a noncommittal shrug and went back to eating. Dinner continued with Emily and Rene talked about the new baby and what to expect and Dalton and Jordan discussed future hunting trips, bonfires, and what was going on at work. Once Veronica finished, she took her plate to the kitchen and washed it off. "Thanks for dinner mom." She said. "You're welcome Veronica. Get that homework done please." Veronica nodded and left the noise of the dining room behind her. She shut the door behind her and flopped face first onto her bed. The last thing her depression and grief needed was people reminding her that she was depressed and grieving. Homework was the furthest thing from her mind. All she wanted was to dig into her secret stash under her bed. A pair of pull-ups to take her to another world. A world of simple pleasure and innocence and peace. A world of humid Okinawa. A world of playing with mousy Taylor. A world where they were a family. They took her to a place where she was beloved and idolized, with hundreds of online fans telling her how great she looked and how much they liked her. Even if they didn't want Veronica as a whole person, they wanted LilBrat, the giggly, cheery LG who loved her fans and posted often. She could only wallow in her angst for so long before the work ethic instilled in her by her military family upbringing roused her from her cocoon of blankets to get to work, plowing through her Ibsen review. The review was only paragraphs away from finishing before she heard a knock on her door. "Veronica," her mom spoke from the other side, "telephone for you, it's Alex." Veronica pulled herself from her bed and opened the door, taking the phone from her mother. "Hello?" Veronica asked. Alex wasn't one to usually call. They were generally school friends and if they did anything outside, it was Veronica setting it up. Alex was too flighty to really plan events ahead and had too much of a social life to do much with Veronica outside of classes. "Veronica!" Alex shouted into the receiver, "Oh my god, what's going on?" Alex was in full on panic mode which meant this was serious. Alex never got serious. "I don't know what you mean, what's up?" "Veronica, I don't know how but, you've been hacked." Horror gripped Veronica. "What do you mean? What's happening?" She said with a shaking voice. "Someone's on your Facebook, their posting all these weird pictures and saying it's you." As much as she knew what was happening, Veronica couldn't believe it. "You," Alex said shakily, "you need to see for yourself." Veronica thanked Alex and hung up within five seconds. She then raced to her computer and opened up Facebook. They were all there. The three pictures from today and dozens of others from before. All from a sock puppet profile with her name that had tagged her in each of them. Her privacy settings were open and so comments were piled up underneath each of the pictures. "What the fuck!?! SO disgusting!" "What the Hell is This!" "Way to share your pictures slut." "What a fucking baby, LOL." "Your disgusting." "I can't believe you babysat my brother!!! FUCK YOU PERVERT!!!!!!" "Your a pedofile" Veronica slammed her computer shut. Her heart was pounding in her throat and she was shaking violently. With no better option, Veronica through herself onto her bed, buried her face in her pillows, and screamed before she started to cry. Chapter 3 "Veronica dear? What's wrong?" Rene stood in the doorway looking concerned at her daughter, curled under the sheets in a tight ball. "I'm sick." Veronica said as pathetically as she could muster. She hadn't slept all night. Her anxiety had left her shivering and the dark sleepless circles under her eyes gave an appearance of someone who was unwell. "OK, I'll call school then. You just get better alright?" Veronica gave a weak nod. Her mother gave her a look of concern. "I love you Veronica, if you need anything just call me. Jordan will be in the woods all day more than likely. I've got to get to work, get better sweet-heart." She gave a small wave which Veronica returned before Rene left and turned the overhead light off. As soon as she was gone and the door out of the house closed, Veronica turned on the bedside lap. Panic had held her in it's grip all night. Thankfully, a life as a diligent student eschewing convenient skip days allowed her to fake sick today and not face any scrutiny. As soon as her mother was gone she pulled open her laptop. Opening Facebook was an exercise in self-flagellation. The comments kept coming in. All the joy she felt about LilBrat turned to ash as comments on her photos now attacked, humiliated and threatened her. The same photos that had hundreds of likes around the world were now subjecting her to nothing but torment in her real life. She read each comment before closing the laptop and crying again. Once the tears stop coming, she curled up in a ball under the covers. Dreams came soon after. In her first, she found herself in West Valley High's main hall wearing nothing but a soaked Pull-Up. One arm wrapped around covering her breasts and the other making a small attempt to cover her sagging shame. They laughed at her and she begged them not to which made them laugh more. There wasn't much more to the dream than that. Her second dream during her early morning nap involved her father. They were in the woods somewhere and she could never quite reach him, but she could see him. His face was an unmoving mask of disapproval. Every time she came close, he turned and went further into the woods. She slipped in mud and got tangled in the underbrush but she never reached him. Finally, they came to a lake. She ran to meet him on the banks of it, but he turned without a word and walked under the water. She jumped in after him. She dove with clumsy strokes but never could reach him. He walked along the bottom like he walked upon the land and all she could do was struggle after, she tried to call out and took in a mouth full of warm water. "Dad!" She sprung up from her nightmare. That's when she felt the warm water underneath her. "Of all the days to wear a Pull-Up" she thought and surprised her self with a wry hollow chuckle. Her accident wasn't big. A small, wet circle on the bed no more than a few inches in diameter. Her pants and her pull-over were wet as well and so Veronica stripped both herself and the bed and put everything into the wash. She pulled on a new shirt and before putting on a new pair of pajama pants, she reached under her bed. She pulled out both the used Pull-Up in the Fischer's sack and a short, wide grey plastic tote. Her under-the-bed-box. This was where she hid all of her little things. Two pacifiers shoplifted from Wal-Mart a year ago, small stuffed animals that held no deep meaning other than being cute photo accessories and some of her more 'little' clothing; cute, cartoony graphic tees that were great for wearing in her pictures but didn't fit with her regular wardrobe. The centerpieces of the tightly packed collection were three open packs of girls 4T-5T Pull-Ups and 2 open packs of Pampers Size 7. She originally went to choose the newest design, the Frozen 'Cool-Alert' ones she had worn yesterday, but then the thought that those were the Pull-Ups that everyone saw here wearing in the photos made her not even want to look at them. Instead, she took another kind of Pull-Up, the glow in the dark kind especially for overnight. They worked better anyway. Being for night wetting they absorbed more so she didn't have to be as careful with them not leaking. Any other day, wrapped tight in a Pull-Up she'd feel at peace. Now it was just a reminder of what had happened. Still, while it wasn't the panacea for her nerves that it usually was, it did get it her to relax enough to do something other than panic. She played on the Xbox One in the living room for a bit. It was technically both her's and Jordan's but Jordan monopolized it 90% of the time. She only played about 45 minutes before she got tired playing. She surfed through the television channels but nothing caught her attention. No book or DVD held her eye either. She wanted to open up Facebook. She knew what she'd find but she wanted to see it herself. The hate kept piling up. "This is going to be the next eight months," thought Veronica. She was hardly even upset at this point. She'd been pushed head long into a state of numbness. She shut the computer again and fell back on her bed. Surely her absence today confirmed that it was her in the pictures. Had it not been, she could come in and while it might take some convincing she could sway people to the idea that she was hacked and fetish pics were posted. Not everyone would believe, but it may make it possible to go to school again. "Maybe I can drop out, get my GED and go to college early." She entertained the idea but knew her mother would never go along with it. Not unless she knew why. She opened her computer again, this time she stayed away from Facebook and went to Tumblr. More reblogs than ever. More positive comments than ever. For the first time it occurred to her that it was a mercy that they only outed her on Facebook and didn't vandalize her 'LilBrat' page or doxx her from it. The comments were hollow now though. Every reblog was reflected back by a hateful post on Facebook. Why couldn't she be LilBrat? People loved LilBrat. Yet these same pictures were the ones that brought Veronica was misery. She closed her computer again. How could she be two people, one so loved and the other so hated? Two people so different? LilBrat was cheery and fun, she was flirty and posted pictures with stuffed animals. Veronica didn't really even know what she was any more. Grief, stress, school and Mom and Jordan's extended war of passive aggression and disappointment had scoured her and left her hollow and 'LilBrat' lived inside that hollow shell like a hermit crab. It really didn't make sense to her. The day drug on slowly and boredom set in. She did manage to finish up 'Childhood's End' today and started on another one of Dad's old books, 'Slaughter House Five.' She read for a few hours, getting halfway in before breaking for lunch and finishing up the few remaining slices of pizza from last night. The rest of the day was an ebb and flow of doing something to take her mind of Facebook and then being compelled to check her page again. Then panic and depression setting in. Then doing something to relieve the panic and forget about Facebook for as long as she could before she drawn right back in. The only time Veronica even left the house was when the mail came at 2:15. This days mail was hardly worth tucking her pajama pants into her snow boots to go get. Junk, bills, statements and a package for Mom from 'Scrappy Camper!â€. Still, no acceptance or rejection letters. At 3:30 Alex called but Veronica didn't answer. She called again at 3:35 and 4:10 but Veronica didn't answer and after a last call at 4:45 she stopped trying to call. It gutted her to ignore Alex, potentially her only friend left in the world, but she couldn't bring herself to face her friend, not even over the phone. Veronica was back in her room, watching the minutes tick by and putting on a sick act as best she could as it came time for her mother to return. Her anxiety tightened it's hold on her again when the front door opened Veronica heard her mother make her way though the house, first dropping whatever she'd brought home with her on the kitchen table before hearing her shoes clack down the hall on the way to her bed room, which was right across from Veronica's. The bathroom fan came on and soon after it went off again. Then came the knock. "Veronica dear?" When her mother opened the door and peaked her head in Veronica was back in bed curled under the covers. "How are you feeling?" She asked. "Bad." Was all Veronica could say. Faking of not, her nerves were conspiring against her and her anxiety was through the roof, she didn't have to try hard to convince her mom that she was still sickly. Rene Klein let out an 'aw' before approaching the bed and sitting down on it beside her daughter. "No fever." She reached over and laid her hand on Veronica's forehead for a moment, and Veronica unintentionally flinched back. Both of them were aware of the awkwardness. They had never been touchy, and with as withdrawn as Veronica had been in the past year, she had gotten worse about it. Touching just made her more aware of the distance that had grown in that time. For a moment, Veronica saw a glimmer of hurt in her mother's eyes. Rene Klein pulled her hand back,"That's good," she said, trying to move past the awkward tension as much as possible. "We can let you stay home another day if you're still not feeling well in the morning but hopefully you're on the mend. You must have slept all day, did you not get any of my messages I sent you?" "Yeah, I mean, No I slept most of the day, sorry mom." Rene Klein gave another reassuring, but sad smile. She didn't like lying to her mom, not twice in one day especially, but Veronica could not bring herself to admit losing the phone just yet. Because then she would have to admit everything else. She hated hurting her mother. She hated it most when she hurt her without meaning too. She couldn't hurt her like this. "Alright dear." Rene said in a way that made Veronica wonder whether it really was alright or not. Now she was desperate to change the subject. "Is Jordan working tonight? He hasn't been home all day." Rene noticeably tensed and took a breath before beginning. "Your brother went out hunting today." "Any luck?" Veronica wasn't fond of moose but she was no more likely to trudge to Fischer's in a white out blizzard than anyone else in the family. "Yeah," Rene nodded, "the boys got one. Loaded it in Dalton's truck and took it to the processor in Nenana, they," at this point Rene took another pause, obviously irritated at whatever was going to come next, "him and Dalton are having a party tonight, so he's staying over there for the night." Veronica knew why was frustrated, the parties that Dalton and Jordan had involved them mixing with their coworkers from Fischer's, or former hockey team mates, or just people they hunted with to get stoned and black out drunk. Being the son of the owner of Fischer Grocery and the assistant manager himself, Dalton could rearrange the schedules to allow for such middle of week celebrations and procure enough alcohol for everyone despite being underage. "But I'm glad you're doing better, sweet-heart." Rene Klein lingered. Veronica knew that she wanted to give her daughter a hug or a kiss on the forehead or some display of motherly affection. But she didn't. She instead put her hand on her daughters knee and gave it a slight shake before standing up and leaving. "Mom!" Veronica spoke up, her mother turned around, standing in the doorway looking at her daughter. "I-" she began, "I got the mail. You got some scrap book stuff." Rene smiled. "Thank you dear, just some stuff to put the finishing touches on your Birthday Book. I know it's a couple months away, but I want it to be perfect for you." With that she turned and left and mention of the damn birthday book made Veronica's self hatred boil hotter. She'd been working on the things since she started scrap booking when they first came to the states and it was going to be a photographic record of eighteen years of her life. It was sweet. Jordan had gotten his two years ago and never opened it. That had really hurt Rene. All that work and he didn't even care. Of course, Veronica knew she was doing her own fair share of hurting her mom lately. Of course her mom wanted a hug, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to say "Thanks," or "I love you." She was always her fathers daughter and looking back that must have hurt Rene too. Now neither of them had him anymore. He died alone in the middle of the night, so far away that it was technically the next day when he died. But it felt so close. It still made her feel hollow and less and weak. She couldn't let her mom find out about the pictures. It would devastate her that her 'good' kid would do something so horrible. Veronica spent the rest of the night in her room, curled up quietly and feeling legitimately sick with herself. It was only after her mother left she realized she had worn a Pull-Up in front of her. Anxiety rotted into dread and further self loathing. Still, she hadn't been caught. A simple 'what's that sound' would have done her in. "Maybe it would have just been easier to get caught?" Veronica thought to herself. She did stay home again the next day. Her mother checked on her but stayed on the opposite side of the room. Veronica had given up checking Facebook. She'd given up checking Tumblr too. For the first time ever, caught in a maelstrom of self loathing and fear, she thought about giving up entirely. It was never a serious thought, but it danced in back of her mind and occasionally whispered the names of others who'd found themselves in her shoes and taken the emergency exit as it were. She clung on though. The idea of her mother losing a husband and a daughter in one year was enough to still any serious thoughts. The last thing she wanted to do was make her mom hurt anymore. The day proceeded much like the previous day did. Veronica wandered around the house, distracting herself with video games, or movies, or books as long as each held her interest. She knew she couldn't skip indefinitely but she had no other plan. If her mom found out, would she even let her drop out and get a GED? Or would she force Veronica to live with her mistake? The thing that scared her most, oddly enough, was that her mother would do nothing. That she would become a second Jordan. A second lost cause that her mother loved but had no faith in. For the first time, in some small way, she was relieved that she no longer had her father to answer to. Her second day of wallowing in self pity ended when she heard the door burst open. "Veronica!" Jordan shouted from the entry way and she heard heavy, uneven steps pound down the hall to her room. "Veronica!" He shouted again, this time, as he threw her door wide open while she lay buried under pillows and blankets and cuddling tightly with Gypsy Jr. "Veronica, what the fuck have you done?" "What-" Even if she had the energy or ability to muster a defense on the fly, she was cut off. "The pictures. A friend showed me them. Jesus Christ what is wrong with you?" Without any effort or expectation of sympathy, Veronica Klein broke down in tears. Of course Jordan would find out, half of his friends from the hockey team still went to West Valley. If the pictures got to them, they'd get to Jordan. He stood dumb founded for several seconds before slightly limping his way across the room to her and taking the bedridden girl in his arms. He hugged her, but Veronica didn't return the hug. She just sobbed into his shoulder. "Oh shit," He muttered over and over and he held his sobbing sister. "Why Ronnie?" The pet name made the hurt all the more painful. "I don't know." It was all she could say through tears. Truly, she didn't know, why did she want to be a Tumblr Diaper Girl? Why was it so important? She had no idea. Except that it felt good. It felt that someone, hundreds of people actually, liked her and cared about her when no one else seemed to. The trap of being the good kid was you often became the ignored kid. With Rene having her hands full with work and worrying about Jordan and with her father gone, Veronica felt invisible at home. At least people got to see LilBrat. "You're not," her big brother began hesitantly, "you're not, Jesus I can't believe I'm asking you this. You're not into," he paused for far too long, "you don't 'like' kids do you." It brought a second wave of sobbing. She'd wept off and on for two days, but now the damn was breaking and 48 hours of pent up shame and fear were bursting through. "No, no, no," she said over and over again. "Jesus." He whispered under his breath and he held the sobbing girl in his arms. He repeated it over and over again. He whispered platitudes about how 'it's alright' and how everything would 'be OK' as he held his sister. Finally, as Veronica's tears stopped, he began speaking real sentences."I'm still a legend at West Valley, the hockey team still respects me, I can tell them to keep the pressure off of you. Most should listen. If the team does their friends and girl friends should too. If the most popular people in school are leaving you alone the rest should lose interest given time. I can do this on one condition." "Anything," Veronica choked out, it was an offer too good to be true. "You need to tell mom." Veronica's stomach dropped. "You can't be serious?" She questioned. "Deathly. This is going to get to her eventually anyway. She will find out. So if you don't tell her tonight, then I will tomorrow. It would be best if she heard it from you though." "No Jordan, please. I can't." Veronica pleaded. "Then I will," he responded coolly. "You made a mistake Veronica, now you get to see what it's like to face the consequences." With that, he left the room and closed the door behind him. Soon after she heard the Xbox One turn on and soon the sounds of Call of Duty boomed down the hall. Veronica tossed herself on the bed and tunneled deep into the sheets, fighting the urge to cry another time today. She lost the fight and eventually fell into a shallow sleep. It was late when Veronica woke up. Jordan had already left for work. It was four now, mom would be home in a little over an hour. Fear twisted inside of her, each minute another turn of the screw. She had to tell her. Jordan was right, it would be worse coming from anyone else. She tried to imagine what school would be like but every vision was worse than the last. She really had ruined her life, she thought. The Pull-Ups that made her feel all sorts of wonderful things had been bought with money from allowance for chores and sporadic babysitting work for people on their street. That babysitting work was sure to dry up once the rumors and pictures spread further. Finally, she heard the door open. It was her mother. Tonight she made straight for Veronica's room. She didn't come close this time either. Veronica hated herself for it. As much as Rene wanted to hug Veronica, she wanted to be held just as much but she couldn't tell her mother. It would be to awkward. So she just had to live with the gulf between them. "How you feeling?" Her mother asked, tired eyes full of concern and something Veronica couldn't place. "Better." Veronica said. In the hours that had passed, she'd come up with a plan, a plan that may keep her from having to tell her mother about what happened. A plan to save her mother the hurt of knowing how awful her daughter was. "Really?" Rene sounded happy. "Yeah, I think I'm OK for school tomorrow." "That's good to hear dear.†After an awkward pause, Rene said, "well, I guess I need to work on your Birthday Book," and she excused herself. Veronica didn't want to go tomorrow, she dreaded it as much as she had anything, but if she could get through the teasing tomorrow, then there would be no need to tell her mother. If she could get through tomorrow, she would be fine. Chapter 4 The hush arrived first when Veronica showed up at the bus stop. A few kids had been waiting but and talking among themselves but everyone went quiet when she walked up. Their silence was ominous and oppressive. She pulled her 3DS from one of the huge pockets of the N-3B and locked her eyes on the screens. They began talking again, but it was stilted and awkward. They all knew. Everyone knew. A second hush came when she walked onto the bus. Everyone was primed, but no one was striking the first blow. The bus returned to normal faster than the bus stop had. Veronica kept her eyes locked on her game and blocked out the whispering as best she could. At school, there was no hush. The small girl in the huge coat was able to slip in mostly unnoticed. When she opened her locker she knew what the tone for the day would be. It had been emptied and refilled and a loose stack of Pampers newborn diapers to fell out of the locker and down at her feet. Veronica felt her face getting hot but kept her cool, emotionless mask the best she could as the hall broke into laughter. She simply gathered them up, and tossed them in a nearby trashcan. Seeing as her book for World History had been among the things taken, she proceeded to her first class without it. History, both American and World, were taught by the same man. Mr. Dobbs has a short, thin man who was frequently bullied by his own students. Tests could get pushed back days or made open book and homework checked at the end of class if only the class begged hard enough. He was called "Dad-Joke-Dobbs", mockingly by most, for his sense of humor that he insisted on injecting into his lessons. They were still only in the medieval period and so, on the board today he had written, "Who officiated the game between Trier and Cologne? The Holy Roman Umpire!"She crept in as quiet as she could manage. This was going to be one of the harder classes for the day. The reason why soon sauntered into the room, Emily Duke. Emily sat at the desk besides hers and if anyone was going to take the opportunity to humiliate her, it would be Emily. She broke into a predatory grin upon seeing Veronica, the look in her eyes was equally carnivorous. For the first fifteen minutes of class, Emily did nothing. Role was taken, homework was passed in and Dad-Joke-Dobbs began his lecture with the usual mix of history with flailing attempts at humor. Only once Veronica thought that Emily might not attack on her own, did she make her move. "Mr. Dobbs!" She shouted, as she began gathering up all her books and back pack, "I can't sit next to Veronica. She smells like pee." Emily, without waiting for permission or response, got up and walked across the room and took a seat at a desk on the far side. The class was silent. Mr. Dobbs just gawped for a moment. Veronica felt like she'd been struck, and blushed a deep crimson. The long awkward pause was a battle of nerves. Veronica, clearly embarrassed wanted Mr. Dobbs to say something, to punish Emily in someway. Emily, for her part, stared down the teacher, daring him to speak up. "Oh, um," Mr. Dobbs swallowed, his already ample adams apple bobbing in his throat. "OK then I guess." His nature won out. He wasn't a bad man, just a weak one. If he was easily bullied into changing tests or skipping homework, then what chance was there he'd stand up in such a strange situation. He went back to his lecture and Veronica lay her head in her arms on the desk. She burned from the inside, she wanted to say something back but how could she defend herself? They were her pictures. She had nothing to dispute them, if anything her absence for two days more than confirmed that the girl in the pictures was her, even if in every one of her LilBrat pictures, on the phone or online, you couldn't see her face. She fought to keep from breaking out in tears again. She'd done too much of that for comfort though lately. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. The rest of the class continued, Mr. Dobbs proceeding as if everything was normal even though the whole class' attention had been lost after the conspicuous disruption. Veronica slouched from her chair toward the exit when the bell rang. Emily was already outside and standing beside the two people who could make this event even worse. Kim Chandler stood there in her pink snow jacket and skinny jeans, with the same evil look that Emily had. Behind them was Taylor. That's when Veronica knew. "Oh, hi little girl!" Kim mockingly cooed at her. Kim took one of Veronica's hands in hers and Emily sidled beside Veronica and took the other. She squirmed but was unable to pull away from them. Both squeezed harder as a result, their nails digging deep into Veronica's palms. "We wouldn't want such a little girl to get lost on her way to class now would we," Kim sing-songingly intoned. Veronica wanted to say something, she wanted to shout for help in the crowded all, but she didn't. All eyes were on them, if they weren't helping now, then they wouldn't help if she called out. She tried to put back on her mask of indifference. Taylor silently flanked them as Emily and Kim pulled Veronica down the hallway. "The little thing's shy." Emily cooed. "Not shy enough to not be sending out all those naughty pictures though" Kim said with a laugh. "That was a very bad thing for little girls to do," Kim adopted a tone of mock solemnity, "what if someone saw all those photos? That would be bad, wouldn't it?" "Good thing wittle Verwonica has three big sisters to watch out for her," Emily said. Veronica kept her head down. No one helped. No on stepped up to stop them. Emily and Kim spoke loudly enough so that everyone in the hall could hear, but no one defended her. Some couldn't believe what they were seeing and watched stunned, others laughed. Most just pretended not to see. "Here we are!†Kim chimed when they reached Veronica's English IV class. "Now you be a good little girl in class today. Ask Taylor for help with any hard words, or if you need someone to help take you to the potty. Bye bye now" Kim and Emily both broke their talon grip on her hands and knelt down in front of her, making waving 'bye-bye' to her like they might a real baby. "Come on, wave bye-bye little girl!" Kim encouraged before she and Emily both started to laugh. "Such a shy baby!" Kim reached out and pinched Veronica's cheek hard. "See you after class cutie!" With that, they turned and waved 'bye-bye' over their shoulder, cackling the full way. Taylor brushed past her as she stood shell shocked at the door to her English IV class. She didn't even look at her. She'd been silent the whole trip. It took all she had to walk into the English class, sit down, and answer the teacher that she was 'doing fine today.' The flames of embarrassment gave way to those of anger as the class progressed. It was Taylor. Hateful-Taylor that knew her birthday. Taylor was the only person who could have guessed 1-1-9-8 in such a short amount of time. Hateful-Taylor. Her phone must have been knocked out of her pocket when Emily body checked her trying to leave the bathroom. She'd been so embarrassed and in such a rush to escape, she didn't even here the phone smack the tile floor. One of them picked it up and after a few hours, Taylor suggested trying Veronica's birthday. It had to be her. There was no way it could be anyone else. Now, she wouldn't even look at Veronica. Class ended and Taylor walked by her desk on the way out. In front of Veronica's desk, she dropped a tightly folded piece of paper. A note. Veronica picked it up and stayed at her desk long enough for everyone to leave so she could read it. She wasn't sure what she'd find. Blackmail? Threats? Confession? The note just read 'I'm sorry.' "Sorry?" Thought Veronica, she thought sorry was enough? She was fuming now. She stayed until the next class started filling up the room. If she saw Taylor, even if Emily and Kim were with her, she wasn't sure what she would do. "Damn her." Veronica swore to herself, Taylor's note was so ambiguous that even if she took it to the principal then it still wasn't a confession of anything. It was just enough to let Veronica know that Taylor was behind everything, but not enough to get her in trouble. Even if it was, going to the principal meant confessing as to why all of sudden diapers were getting stuffed in her locker and Kim, Emily, and Taylor were treating her like a toddler in the halls. Veronica finally left. She had waited out Kim and Emily who'd obviously grown sick of waiting. "They've got six months to torture me," Veronica thought, "what's the rush?" Her next class was thankfully free of any member of the Bitch Clique. It had warmed up at lunchtime so the circle was forming up outside. Veronica didn't know what sort of reception she might face there, but it had to be better than what she would face inside, even if she sat the whole period in the bathroom, the Bitch Clique would be on the hunt for her. At least outside she might be safe. Alex would be there and Veronica could finally talk with her. She didn't know what she would say. Alex hadn't called again since Wednesday afternoon. She didn't even know if Alex wanted to talk to her, maybe she had turned on her too? Everyone stopped talking when Veronica came outside and slouched down the wall. Alex was clinging beside Benji and whispered something to him. He shook his head. "Please." She begged him, he shrugged her off and tossed the hackey sack up in the air. It happened so fast, she didn't have a second to notice or move, and the cloth bag whizzed at her face. She flinched and the sack thudded off the glass wall, barely an inch beside her face. All eyes were again on her, only Alex looked away. "What do you think you're doing out here?" Benji thundered at her, all Veronica could do was try and formulate a sentence before he cut her off, "you're not welcome out here anymore. This is your warning. You don't want to know what will happen if I find out you've been around any kids, I won't wait for the police!" He was screaming at her now, the crowd in the the circle and the hangers on along the wall all muttering their approval. "You're lucky I didn't call the cops on you after I saw what you did! This is getting off easy. So get your shit, and go away!" He spat. Veronica didn't move for a moment and that was all it took to get a second hackey sack shot in her direction, this one thumping the glass on the other side of her head. "Get out of here you crazy bitch!" Without a word Veronica gathered all her stuff in her arms and walked straight into the nurses office. "I'm sick," she told the nurse, "I need to leave." She lay curled up in the nurses office for forty five minutes until her mom arrived. "Still feeling rough?" Veronica just nodded, "ets go dear, maybe you'll be better Monday." Veronica was quiet all of the way home. Her mother made little attempt at small talk. "Let's get you inside and back to bed. You need anything?" She asked as they pulled into the garage. Veronica just shook her head. "Alright dear, I took the whole day off just in case you need any help, let me plug the car back in and I'll be inside in a second." Broken by the day, Veronica could only nod and she lurched her way inside. Even before she opened the door, she heard Call of Duty being played in the living room. Inside, Jordan sat on the couch, eyes locked on the television. "You didn't tell her, did you?" "Jordan please, not after today!" Veronica begged. "No. This has to happen. You can't keep pretending to be sick forever. You can stay in here and tell her yourself, or I can. Either way, mom is finding out, and now." Finally, after a day of holding everything back, of wearing a mask of indifference and of being utterly, emotionally broken; her simmering anger boiled over. "You're really enjoying this aren't you?" She said through gritted teeth, as coolly as her rage allowed her. "Oh yeah, my sister took fetish pictures for strangers and now they're all over the internet and I don't even know who did it so I can kick their ass. I'm just thrilled sis." His voice had the same sharpness hers did. He kept his eyes on the screen, mowing down enemies on autopilot. "Fuck you!" She snapped, "you know what I mean. You're making me do this so you can be the 'Good One', so mom will think I'm the screw up and not her lazy, partying, drop-out son who lives on her couch and plays Call-of-Duty with his equally awful friend all day!" She shouted at him. "What on earth is going on in here? Jordan? Veronica?" Rene Klein opened the front door just in time to here the end of Veronica's outburst. Jordan paused and looked at Veronica for the first time. Just stared at her, the warning implicit that it was her last chance. "Mom," Veronica started, her voice tremulous from nerves and her screaming, "Mom, I," she could barely get her words out, "I lost my phone." "Well it's nothing to fight with your brother about. I'm sure it will turn up." "Actually," Jordan spoke, "that's not what she really needs to tell you." For a moment, they were all quiet, Jordan and Rene's eyes locked on an increasingly shaking, anxious Veronica. "Well, what is it dear?" Rene asked. Her concern was obvious, it would have been apparent to anyone that a lost phone was the least of her daughter's problems. "Actually, I didn't- I didn't lose it. It was stolen and I-" Veronica's nerves were shaking her to pieces, and her voice trembled as much as she did. "Actually it might be better if I show you." With tunnel vision and heavy, shaky steps Veronica walked the long hall to her room, Rene followed close behind. Jordan stayed in the living room, whether he was pleased with himself, surprised she'd done it on her own or regretting that he couldn't out her himself, Veronica couldn't tell. It could be all three. Still, he didn't go back to playing his game. He was listening. Rene sat down beside her daughter on the bed and Veronica took out her lap top and opened two tabs. If she was going to come clean, she was going to come clean about everything. Rene's initial reaction was shock and horror. Veronica couldn't tell what it was after that, likely a mix of those along with anger, disgust, and confusion. Hurt had to be there too. The comments were right there for her to see, all those negative, hateful things that random people were saying about her daughter on Facebook along with all the dozens of pictures and the hundreds of positive and suggestive comments and posts on her Tumblr. Finally she closed the laptop, shut her eyes and took a few breaths. her mother had a great deal of difficulty starting. Every hesitation, every hurt look, were knives through Veronica . "Why? Where did I go wrong?" "You didn't." "I had too have." Her mother's voice was cracking. "This isn't what normal people do. Why Veronica? I just don't, I just," she stopped for a minute, composing herself before her voice broke entirely, "help me understand this." "I'm..." Veroncia steeled the battered remnants of her nerves for an admission she hoped she'd never have to make, "I'm a," she nearly whispered the next part, "a Teen Baby." "And what on earth is that?†"I don't know, I just," she was beginning to get flustered with herself again, "I just, I like-" the d-word hung on the tip of her tongue and she had to force it out, "I like diapers, and I don't know why, I just do. They make me feel safe and good and they're comfortable. I can't explain it, OK?" There is was, all out in the open. Rene didn't scream, she didn't shout, she barely cried. With nothing left to hide, for the first time since the photos leaked, Veronica felt some degree of peace, uneasy though it may be. "So," Rene started again after waiting nearly a full minute to process and compose herself, "you don't like kids, do you? That's not what this is about?" That stinging question again. "No, it's about wanting to be little again, I guess. Like, you want to go back to a time that was peaceful and calm and everything was fine. You just want someone to love you and take care of you It's not a kid thing like that at all." "So, it's about being a kid again? Do I understand that right, and you do it with," she paused and just shuck her head, "you do it with diapers of all things? Just, I don't understand any of this? I can get connecting with your inner child, dear. You still sleep with a stuffed animal and watch those Japanese cartoons. But this is, it's, it's more than I can deal with right now." She said getting up from the bed. "We can talk tomorrow Veronica,†and then she said the worst words a parent could say, "I'm not mad, I'm just- well, I'm disappointed. I really didn't expect this from you. I just, I need some time to think. But we will have a conversation tomorrow. In the meantime, I think I need to have your computer for a while." As much as she didn't want to give it up, Veronica accepted Rene's request without argument and unplugged her laptop and handed it to her mother. "Just-" Veronica spoke up as her mom started to leave, "please, just do some research? Look up stuff? There's thousands, maybe millions of people like me, just, just please try to understand." Rene stood still for a moment, considering her daughters plea. "I was going to look this up anyway, but," she paused, "as much as I don't understand, I'll try. That's all I can promise. We'll talk more tomorrow." Veronica spent the rest of the day in her room decompressing from the whole, anxiety inducing experience. The loss of her lap top made any computer gaming, internet, or DVDs out of the question, but she still had her 3DS and she still had her books and she finished 'Slaughter-House' off. It was a strange book, it had been one of her dads favorites and it fit incongruously with her view of him. He was a career Army IT guy. with a happy family and one of his favorite books had a noticeable anti-war vibe to it and was about a fatalistic man with a dull, safe life in a small town. It made her uncomfortable because it forced her to wonder if he just liked it because it was funny or if her father saw any of himself in Billy Pilgrim? She wondered what she knew and what she only thought she knew. She didn't want to read anymore of her dad's books for now, and started reading one of hers instead. That night, she had a familiar dream. It didn't come often, just often enough that she knew it. All the talk about wearing diapers and finally opening up to someone about it must have triggered it. She may or may not have been 12 yet. It was back at Camp Shelby in Mississippi, the last stop before Fairbanks. She had hated Shelby more than she did Fairbanks. It was early. Dad hadn't woken her up yet. He always did. He had to be at post at 5 but he always woke up at 3:45 just in case she needed him. He woke up early to help her either make it to the bathroom or give a kind word, shoulder to cry on and a new pair of Goodnites if she woke up wet. She'd started wetting ever since they left Torii. By the time they reached Shelby she'd lived in five places in two years. She lay in bed alone, waiting for her father. She was wet and could get a new Goodnite on her own, but she liked the ritual, the closeness. She slid a hand down to feel how wet she was and felt something a gentle heat. Instead of cool dampness she felt a fire start to burn inside her as she continued squeezing and started to grind herself against her hand first, then rolled over and pressed against the bed. Soft moans proceeded a squeal of release. She wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but knew it was the Goodnite and knew she wanted to be in them forever. It was about 2:30 in the morning when Veronica woke up, groaning that she hadn't only wet in the dream. All the same stress that had caused her to have it, had given her two legitimate accidents in three days. She changed out of her pajamas and as she started to get some new underwear, she paused. She knew what underwear she wanted. She pulled out the under-the-bed-box and muttered quiet thanks to herself that she hadn't went with her first plan to show her mother it. Had she done that, she may not have her stash anymore. She opened up and stepped into one of the Night-Time Pull-Ups and slid them up her waist before getting one of the cute 'LilBrat' shirts, a 'My Little Pony' shirt from the kids section, that was neatly folded underneath the loose packages of diapers and Pull-Ups and putting it on. Veronica sat in the laundry room on the washing machine while her sheets and bedding were being washed, playing her 3DS in her cute shirt and with her beloved Pull-Ups on underneath thick, warm pajama pants. She barely focused on the game, too much was on her mind. Taylor, Alex, Jordan, her mother, Dad, going back to school on Monday; all these doubts and fears fought for prominence at any one time. But a quietude was there that hadn't existed previously. She was out. There was no changing it. No going back. Strangely, that gave her some peace. There was a knock at the door. She should have known, the laundry room was right across from Jordan's room. "Hey." He said, yawning. She wasn't sure whether she woke him or he hadn't been to bed yet. Either way, she didn't want to talk to her brother, and ignored him, keeping her eyes on the screens. "I, uh," he had a hard time finding what words to use, "I didn't expect you to tell her. I thought I'd have to. That uh, that took guts." She paused the game and looked up at him. "I called Peter and he's going to tell the guys to leave you alone. Word will get around this weekend, Monday should be better." While Veronica didn't enjoy that her crush of three and half years had seen her pictures along with everyone else, she was glad for him telling his team mates to leave her be. He really didn't have to, and he might be ignored or the team might turn on him, but he did. She allowed herself to feel a modicum of forgiveness towards her brother. "Yeah well, it had to be done and like I said, it took guts to do it the way you did. I don't know if I'm proud all things considered, but, yeah, guts. Well, good night Ronnie." He said on his way out. "You too." she said. She wasn't sure if he smiled or not. He closed the laundry room door and she went back to playing her game. She hadn't forgiven Jordan entirely, but he had moved down a few spots on her list of people she was the most mad at.
  9. A Reason Why

    There was a great flash like lightening, and heat filled the room. He felt himself burning and woke in panic, not understanding what was going on. All around him was piercing noise, sirens slowly twisting into screams. His breath was cut off. In the noise he wasn’t sure if his calls for help were going unanswered or simply never left his mouth. He was in the air, moving without will as he was crushed against a mass of rough brown cloth. Screams still followed, distant and barely audible under a moaning, lurching sound, but piercing into his ears and his mind none the less, and going answered. He was outside. He felt the ground under his body. The cold air cut into him after the intense heat and he fell shuddering. The screaming continued, but morphed into a moaning, crashing sound, and stopped. Noise filled the gap. People were crying. Sirens wailed. The screaming remained inside him, echoing in his mind, and mixing with the ice cold wind. Something wrapped around him and he was warm again, and he hoped to never feel that cold again. He was in another place. The cold was gone, but the screaming remained. It was a different sort, a deeper, thicker, rougher shout, but still there, and he shuddered. Steven awoke in a cold sweat. The alarm was going off, screeching for his attention. He hit the button. He would have to get that sound changed.He got undressed and headed into the shower. He turned on the nozzle, and the heat came with a loud hiss… Burning, screaming… He shook his head and removed the thoughts. He blanked them out, turning his mind to other things. He had to get up. He had to get dressed. He had his job to do and a random nightmare was no excuse not to.He got clean as quickly as he could, dried off, and got dressed. His typical black suit and tie, along with permanently polished shoes and watch. He grabbed his long coat to go with it, and headed down stairs to the kitchen. Breakfast was already waiting for him. He thanked his maid and moved out the door.He got in a car - this one was a red sports car, for every second day of the work week- and turned the ignition, preparing himself for the noise. He had paid more than enough for it, and as the salesman said “if it doesn’t wake the neighbors, its not doing its job.” He never really enjoyed it too much, but it was almost expected to own something similar where he worked. He could drive in something cheaper. No one would really say anything. They would think it, though.The engine came alive and roared loudly… Crashing, moaning…“DAMINT!” he shouted. He thought he had gotten rid of those images. Years of hard work and secretive therapy sessions should have ensured it.He could call in sick. No one would say anything, of course. He was allowed to.They would all think it though. Just like the car. His boss was on his fifteenth year without a break. His step father had gone the full 35 years before his age granted him the leniency for sick days.He cursed, and drove off.He arrived at the office twenty-five minutes early, or, as he called it, ‘late’. He walked through the long grey hallways dotted with cubical and water coolers and made his way to his office. He passed by people he knew by name and department and flashed polite, empty smiles. He opened the door and went in. He had a large, lightly decorated office with a massive desk, a garbage can and a window whose blinds he kept perpetually closed. People started drifting into the building, chatting around his office. He concentrated on his work, but the noise built until finally had to slam his door shut.The time drifted by in odd bursts and lulls. He didn’t pay it much mind, he had work to do, and wouldn’t leave until it was done.A loud screeching noise made him jump.Screaming, shouting…He looked down at his phone and lifted the receiver.“Hello is this the Henry Berran Brokers?” a shrill voice asked.“Yes, this is Mergers and Acquisitions,” he replied.“Excellent. Do you know…”Something was happening outside. People were speaking, loudly.“if that is true, should we…”He took out a pen and began copying down what she told him.The voices were getting louder. Through the closed door, he couldn’t make out what they were saying.“And then I’ll need…”He made out the sound of his senior, Michael McNaughton. He began to shout at someone. He was always shouting.Shouting, screaming…“large tubes of..”He was getting louder and louder. He could picture him, red faced…Burning, steaming…Shouting louder, louder…Screaming, calling…“place it inside…”Someone was crying.Crying, moaning…“it may hurt a bit…”He was throwing things, tearing them apart.Moaning, crashing… The last remains of sunlight cut through the blinds, hurting his eyes.Burning, cutting“But I think we are ready…”Steven shouted and through his phone from his desk. It crashed into the wall opposite of him. He stared at it, breathing heavily.Finally he ran up to it again and picked it up. The women was still speaking.“Hello? What was that? It sounded like a crash!” she said.“Sorry, I, uhh… dropped my phone,” he replied.“Alright. Well is there anything else you need to know?”“No, that is fine,” Steven said. He was sure he had everything he needed in his notes.“Aright, well, goodbye! Thanks for everything.”“No, thank you.” He hung up the phone.He stared down at his notepad. Gibberish, completely illegible.He tried to remember any detail of the call. Her name, where she worked… nothing came to mind.He tore the piece of paper from his notebook and threw it into the trash bin. Hopefully it wasn’t anything important. He thought about calling back the same number, but it would probably only lead to a directory, and that was useless without knowing the department which called.He looked at his watch. It was late, most people were probably clearing the office. Never the less, he sat back down at his desk and kept working. There was still work to do, and leaving too early would always look bad.When he finally finished it was dark. The air was cold,Cold air, howling wind… and he pulled his jacket against it. He got into his car and began to drive away.He watched the road as closely as he could. The images from the dream kept coming back, and he shook them out of his mind.He turned the radio on, hoping it would help him clear the images out.He didn’t know the station. It seemed good enough at first, people talking calmly. They were announcing a new song. It came on gently, with a moment of silence. There was a voice whispering something, getting louder, and louder..Suddenly the singer was screamingScreaming, shoutingThe guitar came blasting randomly, pouring out notes faster and faster.Moaning, burning…The drums pounded.Crashing, falling. Screaming, shouting Falling, biting Burning, chocking, Flashing, cutting Howling, whining He screamed and fumbled at the radio. He looked down to turn the nob, and didn’t notice the light changing in front of him. He sped through, and a truck smashed into the side of his vehicle.…Steven woke up again, this time to gentle singing. He had no idea where he was. He was surrounded by warmth, and felt cushions piled around him. Everything was soft and silken, from the voice to the blankets. He sank into them and wished he could go back to sleep. He hadn’t felt this way in as long as he could remember.Finally he opened his eyes completely, and saw a white tiled roof he did not recognize. He sat up completely. He looked down at himself. He seemed to be fine. He didn’t seem to be injured and couldn’t feel pain anywhere. He was wearing long white pajamas. They weren’t his own, but they were comfortable and fit perfectly. The room he was in was painted a golden hue, and had wall to wall carpeting.There was a women sitting on a chair in front of him. She had been the one singing, and stopped when he saw her.“What is going on? Where am I?” he asked.“Don’t worry about that right now. You are safe,” she replied, in a voice as soft as the cushions.“But I need to contact someone. I need to get back to work, I…” he stopped as she shushed him and put a finger on his lips.“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Don’t even think about work. It will all be alright. You are with us now, and we are going to take care of you. We will take care of everything you’ll ever need, and everything you could ever want. All you have to do is trust us.”Despite their strangeness, he felt a calm reassurance at her words. He realized he really did trust her. He nodded, and smiled. (If anyone is wondering, there is going to be ABDL material later. The story just needed some set up. So don't worry your pampered butts :p)
  10. Baby Pig

    Blackness surrounded her. She struggled, but was unable to move. Ropes dug into her limbs, pulling her and twisting her into cramped crouched position on her side.Worse, she had no idea where she was or why.Gabriela thought she was moving. It was more of a guess then anything, however, as the thick cushioning around her hid any vibration and she couldn't hear the sound of an engine. It was more of a hope, that she was travelling somewhere and would be allowed out when she got there.The only problem was she wasn't certain if she really wanted to be where she was going. She had undergone her training, really more of a series of punishments, and been sold. She knew that much. After that... nothing. She imagined she had been drugged with something. Even stages of her training were blurry and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to remember them. Owners were notoriously different in how they took care of their subs. Some were loving and kinds, others were harsh and cruel, with all levels in between. Gabriela imagined whoever now owned her wanted her disoriented and confused, and the plan was working.Finally something seemed to change. The air smelled a bit fresher, and felt cooler. She heard creaking. She still couldn't see anything, but felt hands reach down and grab her. She was pulled out of her confined and untied. They put her on her feet, and she stumbled until she was grabbed by both arms and held up. Finally, a blindfold she wasn't aware she was wearing was pulled off her face. She blinked quickly, unused to the sunlight, and tried to look around.She was facing a farm, she realized. There were acres of field of her covered with rows of corn. In the distance she saw a large, three story house built with white paneling and brick. Beyond that was a series of large steel barns surrounded by animals. She turned around behind herself to see a row of houses. Finally, there were several large men around her, who all seemed to be focusing on a single woman in a dark suit. The woman was holding a riding crop, she realized with a gulp. Gabriela was suddenly aware that she was entirely naked.The woman in front of her smirked. "A bit scared, are you? Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun." The others all laughed at her. "As long as you can behave, that is. You, my little one, are going to be my star attraction."She walked up to Gabriella and began inspecting her, grabbing and pinching at her flesh. "You certainly seem to be in good shape," she said. She kept looking at her, then sniffed the air. "You smell though." She fingered the sweat that had been building up on her when she was locked up. "You smell like a pig. Don't you, little piggy?"She stared at the woman blankely.'Well?" She snapped the riding crop at her thighs. "Answer!""Yes! Yes I do!" She whined, terrified."Good piggy. What do you smell like?""A piggy.""Good. Say it. Say your a pig and oink for me."'I'm a pig I'm a pig! Oink oink!" Gabriela was confused and frightened. This was not something she had expected or had been trained to do, and she responded as quickly as she could to avoid the crop. The other's laughed, and she wondered if perhaps it was a joke of some kind. She stared around, eyes pouting and pleading for some explanation. Instead they laughed more as her face turned red at what she had been forced to do.'Good girl. Yes we are going to have a lot of fun. But first, we need to get you ready. I'm afraid you're training hasn't quite prepared you for what we do here. I always thought it lacked in some areas. But we can fix that, can't we?""Yes, ma'am," she gave the reply her training had made instinctual. She smiled. "At least you're obedient. Maybe its a good thing they didn't train you for this, it makes it more fun for me." The woman reached into his pocket and pulled out a collar. It was thick and black, but decorated with pink hearts. A set of steel tags dangled from the front. She reached around behind her neck and attached it. She then turned something, and she heard a snap. She drew back his hand to show a key, which he put into his pocket. "We won't be needing this," she said. As she said that, Gabriela felt one of the men behind her sewing an extra piece over her collar. It really wasn't coming off, she realized as a pit formed in her stomach.'This collar marks you as my own. I am your mistress, you are my property. The collar won't come off and it is reinforced with wiring, so don't even try to cut it. There is a tracker inside it, so we always know if you try to run away." She fingered the tags in front of her. "These give all the information anyone needs if they find you, including how to bring you back to me, what you are going to be called, how you are to be kept when found, and how you are to be punished. You don't need to know what it says, any more then a pet dog or cat would ever know what her tags say. Believe me, you don't want any of that enacted, and if it does, we have more permanent ways to mark you. You don't want to be branded, do you?""N- no ma'am!" she said, shaking.Sje smiled. "Good. Now, if you behave well, this won't be too hard for you. However, cross me..." she held the riding crop up "and it will get much worse. Understood?""Yes ma'am!""Good. Now, come with me." Her mistress attached the end of a leash to her collar, then turned around and began to walk away. Gabriella tried to follow her, but one of the men around her forced her down to her knees. She didn't move for a moment, then the leash tightened and forced her forward. The woman turned back and smirked as she began to crawl after her, naked except for her leash and collar, and slipping in the mud. Even with the training she had gone through, the idea of strangers seeing her crawl around, naked, sweaty and dirty was horrible. For a moment she almost wished she was back at training, where at least she was indoors, with people she knew and doing things that had become familiar. She remembered those days- the constant embarrassment and pain, how she wished to finally be done and moved on to her owner- ironic that she now was craving it.Her new owner led her down a long drive way toward the house she had seen. She must have been rich, she realized, as it was far larger then any farm house she had seen. As they got closer, however, he turned and led her down a different path. Gabriela glanced toward the house, confused, but didn't dare raise the question. He training had taught her not to speak unless spoken too, and hundreds of hard lashes came back to her at even considering doing otherwise. It was only as the turned around the corner of the house that she realized with increasing dread they were heading toward the barns. The smell of animals hit her at once, and she almost choked. She prayed that she wouldn't be expected to live there, among the animals and filth... but worse things had happened to subs. She sighed and went through a mental list of all the horror stories she had been told, all the things that could happen, all the placed she could go if she didn't behave and should be happy she wasn't going to. It was a method she had been taught to behave for her masters. People who lived solely to be punished, spanked and whipped hundreds of times a day and force fed garbage food before being left to sleep in bondage. Boys who were treated as girls for all purposes, with details that left all the males listening in near tears. People being locked in the same diaper for days, living and sleeping in their filth until the smell and the rash became unbearable. She had experienced portions of a lot of them, and didn't want any more. She couldn't place what was happening on any of the descriptions she had been given, but perhaps that was by design, as many owners wanted what was happening to be a surprise, and the trainers always knew what was best. The exercise helped her. She was here to be his submissive, a role she had been chosen for based on her own behavior and trained to do. It was her job to do as ordered without questioning, no matter how humiliation and painful, and she would do it as her duty. She looked at her new owner, feeling a mix of fear and affection that had been trained into her. She was there to please her. The owner knew best, the owner was in charge, and the sub must obey, she kept telling herself. Nothing else mattered.Finally they reached the barn. She opened a side door and lead her in. Pigs honked all around her, and the smell was far worse then the outside. She cringed as he led her through piles of mud, straw and waste along the floor, and tried not to inhale through her nose. Finally she pulled her into an empty stall, then turned to face her."Enjoying it so far?" her owner asked.'Ye-no---YES ma'am!" she said, trying to decide what he wanted to hear rather then state her opinion. The woman laughed. "You don't have to lie to me. Tell me the truth. What do you think?" "I'm scared ma'am," she said truthfully. "What if I told you this was your new home? Would that make you happy?" "No ma'am," she said, almost in tears. She knew she wasn't supposed to complain. However, she had asked, and hadn't told her what to think. "Awww poor little baby piglet," her mistress reached down and rubbed her head, then cupped her chin and raised her face. "Don't worry. This doesn't have to last. If you show you can behave here, you'll be allowed to live in my house, ok? You can be kept clean, and wander around behind me, cuddling against me and eating beside me. You'll only need to come back here for shows or for punishment. Doesn't that sound fun?" She nodded, truthfully. What he was describing was almost ideal for a sub- to be kept in comfort and coddled, a plaything to be spoiled and cared for by the owner. "Now. As for your outfit. I think it needs to be changed, don't you?" She looked down at her naked body. Before she could respond, the men on either side of her lifted her up. They carried her to the side of the pen, where there was a large shelf, and dropped her on all fours. Her owner reached underneath the shelf where there was a set of small doors. She opened them, and began to take things out. Her mistress held the first object in front of her. It was a large steel plug with a curled tail at the end. A replica pigs tail she realized. "You, my little one, are going to be my baby pig. Understood?" "Yes ma'am," she said in a broken voice, dreading the feeling of the plug. "Now now, from now on my name is Mommy, alright? Mistress also works. And you're new name is going to be Piggy, though I'm going to have fun calling you different names you need to get used to. Alright?" "Yes Mi- Mommy." She said, and her mistress laughed. Mistress reached behind her and slowly slide the plug inside. She cringed as it went in, then sighed in relief when it finally stopped. The intrusion was noticeable, but not painful. She looked back to see a tail seemingly sticking out the back of her, and blushed. Did she have to be a pig? She had been trained to act like a puppy, and a cat, but a pig? The thought made her shiver, and she tried to remind her self of what she owed to her mistress, and how much worse it could be. Somehow, it didn't help much. "Oh, and one fun part about this?" her Mommy took out a controller, which she looked at curiously. She pressed a button, and Gabriela gasped as it began vibrating. "Enjoy that?" She nodded. "Annndd if you're naughty," she pushed another button. A wave of shocks jolted Gabriella, making her squeal until he hit the button again. She lay down panting for breath. "Less fun, eh?" She nodded again and whined. "At least it makes you squeal like a piggy." Her mistress ruffled her hair. Her Mommy then picked her up and turned her over onto her back. Gabriela realized that the other men who had come with her had departed, perhaps convinced her new owner had her under control. "Now, want to guess what is next?" she asked. Gabriela shook her head. The woman reached underneath to pull out a white object. "I did tell you you were a BABY pig, didn't I?" she asked. Gabriela's eyes went wide. It was a diaper, she realized. She had been trained for this, but hadn't expected it after everything else. She turned it over to show the printing on the front, displaying cartoon barn animals each smiling and wearing a diaper. She pointed to a pig. "See? Just like you. Now lift your hips." She groaned and obeyed. This had always been one of the worse parts of her training. Diaper training had always been humiliating, and combined with the rest, it was too much.The woman slid the diaper underneath her and powdered it well, then lifted her ankles up and readjusted before bringing them down. She felt the thickness of the cushion underneath her, then between her legs as the lifted it up and taped it on snugly. It was wider then most of the diapers she had been trained with, she realized. Perhaps to encourage her to crawl like a pig, she thought, shuddering again. She went back to her training and reminded herself of what else she could be doing. "Good baby pig," her Mistress said. She turned her over into crawling position again, then reached into her diaper and pulled something. To Gabriella's surprise, the tail came out through a tiny hole in the diaper, which she realized must have been specially designed for this exact humiliating ordeal. She groaned again. She felt a sharp pain on her thigh and yelped. She looked back to see her Mistress holding the riding crop up. She stared at her in fear. "I don't want to hear that complaint again, Piggy. You are hear under my ownership. You do not get to argue. Whenever I give you something, no matter how humiliating or painful, you will love and cherish it, not groan. Is that understood?" "Yes Mommy sorry Mommy!" She said. She couldn't believe what she had been doing. She had upset her owner on her first DAY. It had been far different then she had expected, but it still didn't bode well for her. "Good. Next time, however, will be far worse. Now, lets finish getting you dressed. Her owner reached underneath the shelves and took out a long piece of pink cloth. Her mistress pulled it over her, and she realized it was a onesie that seemed to combine a baby's pajamas with a pig costume. It fit tightly around her, and seemed to be made out of latex. She tried to fight back the whining at the appearance. Next the took out a bonnet with pig's ears sticking out the top and strapped it under her chin. She held up a pacifier made in the shape of a pig's snout, put it in her mouth and tied it behind her head. This was followed with mittens in the shape of hoofs, and a pair of similar objects he attached to her knees. She wondered at this a moment until he attached a strap to her ankles and tried it to the back of her onsie, leaving her feet in the air and her body balancing on her knees and hands. Finally, her owner picked her up again and set her down on the ground in the mud. She looked around at her surroundings, and her new home. There was a pile of straw in the corner which she assumed would be her bed, and a trough she prayed she wouldn't need to eat from. There was mud and dirt everywhere, and it was impossible to keep clean. Worse of all, there was a mirror leaning in a corner, seeming to exist only for the purpose of showing her how ridiculous she looked. She could have cried at the appearance. Her mistress snapped the riding crop at her. "Crawl!" she said, and Gabriela jumped to obey. It was snapped again, and she yelped. "Crawl!" the woman said again, pointing in a direction. Every time she reached one side of the tiny pen, her Mommy smacked her again, and sent her crawling in a new direction. She rushed each time, panicking and feeling the need to obey. She became filthier and filthier as it happened, and her eyes became wet with tears. Finally her Mommy snapped it again. "Now, roll around in the mud like a pig." She obeyed, now fully crying. "Awww is my poor baby pig sad?" her Mommy asked. She nooded, holding back tears. She whacked her hard with the crop and she yelped. "Well, get used to this for now, you will spend a lot of time here until you prove you deserve something else, and still more time after that for shows." She looked at her owner. Shows? He had mentioned it before. What did he mean? She hoped it wasn't what it seemed. Her mistress seemed to read her mind. "Oh, don't worry, that will become clear soon. See, this isn't just a farm, but a museum of farms. And you, my little piglet, will me my star attraction." She began to panic. She hadn't even thought of that. She was going to go on display? For money? She tried to raise the questions, but the pacifier muffled them. Her mistress snapped the riding crop again. "Now now, no arguing. IF there is one thing they taught you, it was that. But, as for the things he didn't." She croached down beside her. "Even after you've earned the right to live in my mansion, IF you earn the right, you will come back her every weekend, and whenever people are willing to play. You will put on a show for them, crawling around, being punished as they demand whether you deserve it or not, using your diapers like a good baby." She pointed to one corner with his crop. "See that corner? WHenever you use your diapers and earn a change, they will be dumped right there, so you can live next to your own waste like a real pig." Gabriela yelped at that. Next she pointed to the door, and a truck out front. "That truck has raising sides so I can tour around, putting you on display, charging people to see you and to 'play' with you. And I bet you can't wait to find out what 'play' means." She shuddered. "You will earn your keep. And for now...." she pointed to the trough. "That is what you will eat from. You will have a good meal, loaded with plenty of stuff that will ensure you use your diapers not long from now, as I lead you around town to advertise my new exhibit. In fact, lets get started, shall we?" She pulled a lever, and a disgusting mixture of slime and chunks pored out. Gabriela prayed it wasn't just what was fed to pigs, but from the appearance and smell it very well could have been. Her mistress leaned over and sprinkled a jar into it. A laxative, she realized. Her stomach turned at the though. Where had THIS been in the training? "This will help ensure you don't have control over certain functions, I'm sure you can guess which. The only control will be this, and the plug it is attached to." She held up the remote, then reached down and untied her. "Now, get eating." She unhooked the pacifier. Gabriela looked at her pleadingly, and she raised the crop. She crawled forward and stared at the mess in front of her. The smell made her want to gag. She had hoped perhaps it appeared worse then it was for show, but if anything, the opposite seemed to be true. Was this supposed to happen? Masters had a duty to feed their subs. It was never clarified what, but this... SHe looked at it again and almost thew up. "Well? I'm waiting? Don't let them get the laxative or you will regret it." She indicated the other end of the trough with her crop, where Gabriella realized to her horror pigs had began to eat from a different section. IN reality they weren't close, but the thought was enough to make her cringe again. She stared at the food with tears in her eyes. This wasn't what she had been trained for. The diapers were one thing- she had experienced that, and if anything it was the worse she had experienced. Even being treated like some animals was alright, dogs, cats... But pigs? She groaned at the though. Nothing she had done was that humiliating. Then living out in the barn, surrounded by animals, laying in filth, diapered anyway as if to add insult to injury, and paraded around for all to see and PAY for favors? What did that even mean? She began to shake her head. Tears poured from her eyes. Everything in her training told her that it was wrong, that she must obey, but... this was too much. This wasn't what she had wanted at all. "No," she said, shaking after speaking words she never expected to say. "No Mommy I won't. I can't." "Excuse me?" she spoke in a cold, calm voice, and grabbed the crop with both hands. She stared at her, to terrified to speak. As soon as she had said it she knew it was a mistake. She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. It began with shocks coming from the plug. She collapsed moaning to the ground. The shocks continued, and she struggled to get back up but found her muscles were too weak. She felt arms around her. She was picked up, then lain stomach down over something hard. It was her owner's knee, she realized, and she was in position for a spanking. The first blow was enough to make her yelp. A loud THWACK filled the air around her, and a sharp sting made her jump. She dared not struggle, however, as she knew she could only make it worse. The spanks continued on her padded rear, each getting more painful then the last as the soreness from the combined spanking and shocks grew. She lost track of time and had no idea how many she had received when she finally felt a pause. She looked up at her mitress hopefully, but turned back down and sobbed loudly as she felt her undo the back of her onesie and pull down her diaper. (Continued shortly)
  11. Any cats in the cradle?

    Hiya guys! So out of curiosity for conversations, possible future meet ups and what not... Who's all close to the central valley and laces like Dinuba, Tulare, Fresno, Sanger, Madera, and so forth?! Let's all sound off, say hey, or just let us fellow friends know that we're near and dear. It's a big world for us littles and other people out there! Hugs!
  12. Amazing Fetish Simulator

    Hey Guys, So recently on tumblr i found a link to this amazing fetish simulator. If you have not checked it out I would highly recommend it. The art is beautiful, the plot is pretty solid, and i think the creator intends on updating it so it can have more features later down the line. Here is the link: Your New Life (Fetish Dating Simulator) - Demo v5
  13. Hi From Scotland!

    Hello everybody. My name is baby loulou, i am 41 years old, 18 months old baby living in Scotland (but originally from France). It has been quite a while that I have been an AB but only recently i discovered your website and i thought that maybe i could meet people to discuss... As some ABDL, i am interested to finding someone and in my case a Mummy that could take care of me..... This website is new for me so a little bit confusing but i am sure that i will be able to find my way around it. See you around. Baby Loulou.
  14. Just letting everyone here know that I do offer in person babysitting/mommy sessions in Las Vegas. I started doing it over a year ago when we decided that we weren't having kids so this is a way for me to persue my nurturing and disciplinary side. There's a reason why my ex-husband and my husband have both naturally called me "mom." lol This page has all the info you need including what I offer, rates: Mommy Missy Las Vegas AB Babysitting Service I also offer skype to skype video sessions at the lowest rate you're going to find: ABDL Mommy skype sessions
  15. Just for the sake of options, i am curious to know where everyone buys their diapers from? Who is best about using discreet packaging? So far i mostly buy from bambino, and have bought secure x plus before they were available on bambino. So what are the best sites if you live in the US?
  16. Greetings to all, I just want to play with another diaper lover or AB. I wear disposables with plastic pants, love all aspects of diaper wearing, changing, cuddling, checking, patting. I respect all boundrys, just want to be with another in diapers. Will gladly be daddy so long as I can wear my diapers while changing yours. Would love to hear from you. [email protected] "kevin"
  17. Untitled at this point

    Matthew woke up from what others would call sleep, what it was for Matthew was 8 hours of fluctuating consciousness with the occasional nightmare. Greeting him was a dark room, blinking lights from his bedside alarm clock. Noticing the time, he realised he had two hours to get ready for work. He didn’t move, a battle was going on in his body, gremlins shoving wedges in the joints of his bones, blocking whatever little motivation to get up that he had. He laid in bed for 20 minutes before finally overcoming the opposing force. Matthew lumbered his way towards the shower, the ground strewn with dirty clothes from previous days. The hot water spluttered out of the semi-working shower head, and soon steam was filling the room. Matthew got in and welcomed the hot water running down his spine, creating a pleasant feeling at the base of his spine. He stood motionless allowing the hot water to wash away the sleep and odours of his lonely night doing what any other lonely male would do. Turning off the water, drying himself and going straight to finding which of his work uniform’s smelt the least since their last wash, Matthew rarely found the effort to do a proper wash and when he did it usually only lasted for 1 load, only getting a small portion of the growing pile. His mind lingered on the package in the lower portion of his wardrobe, before quickly dismissing it as not the right time for it. He found a shirt and some cargo pants which he quickly put on followed by a layer of the nearest deodorant he could find. Next was breakfast which involved 5 minutes of standing in front of the fridge looking for something edible and not too far gone and then finally settling on some leftover spaghetti bolognese from last night. Matthew had only eaten a couple of spoonfuls before grabbing his ID, keys, wallet and phone and making his way out the door, to start another shift fixing computers for a local retail store. He walked in the staff door, 15 minutes early, to his boss standing there with a stack of jobs ready for him before he even started. The boss was an ass, he always kept tabs on Matthew, looking for a fault, but he knew his job and did it well. The only issues Matthew had was dealing with customers, the clueless users of the computers, who always blamed the technician before themselves. After 7 and a half hours of mind numbing repetition of frozen porn sites, resets and viruses, Matthew walked out of work with his pay check, already pre-spent on bills, rent and about sixty bucks remaining for food. As he walked through the front door, the dark room was illuminated only by the TV that was left on this morning as he had walked out. He beelined for the kitchen and cracked open one of the premix can’s he had been rationing from last weeks pay before stripping off the cargo pants and shirt and flopping back on his bed, his mind racing with nothing productive, just all of the things he had to pay for and that he had another day of work tomorrow. There was a single thought shining through the others, a headlight in a thick fog. Matthew rolled his head to look towards his wardrobe, deciding he needed to unwind, forget about his daily troubles. He sat down the premix on the bedside table and made his way to the wardrobe doors, opening them, allowing the dull light of the room shine upon a plastic package sitting under the lowest shelf. Matthew grabbed the plastic handle and pulled the package from its cove and revealed the babyish patterns of his stash of ABU Cushies. Stashed inside the already open packet of nappies was a bottle of baby powder, and baby lotion. Grabbing the bottles and a single nappy, Matthew retreated to the bed with more motivation and effort that he had shown all day. He lay on the bed and slowly slid off his undies, leaving him completely open and naked, his pubic hair near non-existent as this was a semi-regular occurrence for Matthew and the feeling of being as childlike as possible was a great release for him. Next the boy manoeuvred the nappy until it was under his bum and ready to wrap around his waist, rubbing in baby lotion and the sprinkling of powder was soothing and relaxed his waist and chest, he often wished he had someone to do it for him. He then pulled the front of the nappy up into position, enclosing his genital area in the soft inner padding, putting the boy into a state of comfort and security. The tapes secured the nappy and as he sat up a small cloud of powder escaped, sending the babyish smell into the room. Matthew felt completely calm and safe, his worries and stress had disappeared and was replaced by security and innocence.
  18. I was fascinated by diapers and babyhood for as long as I could remember. According to my parents, shortly after I was toilet trained, I got into trouble in daycare for stealing diapers from their supply and trying to put them on. They saw it just as a funny silly kid story, but for me, it was a sign. In adulthood, I found myself cautiously exploring this side of me. I started buying diapers and wearing them, at first at home, then out in public under my clothes. I trained myself to wet and mess my diapers, and started working on becoming a bedwetter. I got a bottle and some babyish toys and handmade clothes, and every day after work, I’d change into my baby clothes and fix myself a drink, then lie back and pretend I had a mommy to look after me. I found myself wishing I could be an incontinent baby for real. I started trying to make it more than just pretend. I went out looking for women, dated a few, but when I floated the idea of ABDL – always as a hypothetical – they all thought it was gross and weird. I dumped each one shortly after this test, never telling her why. And then, one night, I picked up a woman who wasn’t like the others. She led me into the women’s bathroom, insisting she wanted to show me something. I was nervous, uncertain, afraid of getting caught, but excited. Naturally, I expected sex. I got something very different. She caressed me, led me into a stall, and then sank razor-sharp fangs into me. I struggled, tried to scream, but she clamped her hand over my mouth. I bit her, tasted her strangely chalky-tasting blood, but she didn’t even seem to notice. I started to feel dizzy. The next thing I knew, a cleaning lady found me lying on the bathroom floor. A hunger came over me, and I leapt on her and bit her. When I came to my senses, she was dead. I fled the scene and went home. Over the next few nights, I figured out what had happened to me. I fell into a deep sleep at sunrise, and nothing could wake me, except the burning pain of the sunlight hitting me if I hadn’t closed my blinds completely. I craved blood, and fangs popped out whenever I was too hungry. I could no longer swallow solid foods, and liquids other than blood did nothing for me – besides, all other tastes made me feel sick. And it really threw a wrench in my ABDL play. Bedwetting was out – I soon discovered that absolutely nothing could get me to pee while I was asleep. The closest I could come was to pee as soon as I awoke, which really wasn’t the same. And while at first I needed to poop more often and with greater bulk, after the first week, my bowel movements got less frequent, and then stopped altogether. From then on, I never pooped again. And for a natural submissive like me, becoming a predator was an ill fit. I managed, because what choice did I have, but it always felt wrong. I bought animal blood, and it worked, but only so much. I soon learnt to feed without killing, and honestly, I don’t think most of the ladies I fed on minded, but I hated how I felt after feeding. Far from feeling babyish, I felt fierce, dangerous, a monster. The next few years were the worst in my life. I fell into a deep depression. And then I met Leesa. She was younger than me – barely 18, while I’d been 22 three years ago when I died. But she was the one who approached me, and really took charge of the whole courtship. She struck up a conversation about the weather, of all things. But it evolved into a discussion of clothing design, and I shared some of the tips I knew, careful not to let slip what kind of clothes I made. She asked me out on a date, and let me set the time, so I made sure it was after dark. After several dates, she admitted she knew what I was, and she was something, too. Not a vampire – what she was, mythology had no name for. She confessed that she could read the minds of supernaturals, like me. At her confession, I blushed, and she laughed. “Don’t worry. I have my own kinks. Why do you think I’m so interested in you?” Because of course, she’d known I was an ABDL from the moment we met. She’d read my mind before she even struck up a conversation. She couldn’t help it – from her perspective, it was as if I was just speaking my every thought aloud. And then she told me that her powers might make my dream come true. “OK, Brayden, I’ve never done this before.” She said. “But from what I’ve been told, if I do this, it will be fully reversible. I should be able to fix it, and if not, you’ll recover anyway. But it’ll take several nights.” “You’ll take care of me?” I asked. “Of course I will!” She said. “That’s what I get out of this – someone to look after! Well, and experiment on.” She smirked. A thrill rushed through me as I pictured it. “Another thing.” She said. “A safeword system won’t work for this. You won’t know how to talk, and any other signal we think of, you’ll probably forget too. You won’t be in your right mind, and you may do things you wouldn’t do normally. So I need you to tell me exactly what you’re comfortable with beforehand.” We discussed it and agreed that, at least at first, I was not to be seen in public or by anyone other than her. She would stay with me for the entire time I was awake, and look after my every need. I would put together all of the supplies we needed, and tell my boss at work that I was taking a week-long vacation. She had to make sure I was ready to return to work once my vacation time ran out. And if, at any point, I got very upset and she couldn’t calm me down, she’d do her best to bring me out of it right then and there. It was time, I thought as I woke up and immediately wet my diaper. Tonight, I’d become a true baby. She came just as I finished washing up and changing. “You ready?” “Yeah, I’ve got the diapers here, animal blood in the fridge, clothes here, and here’s my bottle.” I said. “Too bad I don’t have a crib, but my bed should still work, right?” “Yeah. You’ll be fine.” She smiled. “Have you fed yet?” “I haven’t fed, no. I was hoping you could feed me?” I asked. Her grin got wider. “You wearing a clean diaper?” She got me to sit on the couch, and placed her hands on my head. I felt the strangest feeling then, as if her fingers were reaching through my scalp, inside my head. And then I got confused. Nothing made sense. All I could see was a jumble of unfamiliar things, some things even moving. It felt like something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t tell what. My thoughts were jumbled and disconnected, and I couldn’t seem to make them make sense. My hunger seemed overwhelming, suddenly, and I could smell something enticing. I moaned, and got up to look for it. And then a strange moving thing came towards me. I flinched, but then it put something into my mouth, and I realized it tasted good. I drank eagerly, feeling a strange jumble of sensations. Something felt full, inside me, and it kind of hurt, so I reacted automatically, and felt a rush of relief. And then my crotch got wet, and I knew that meant something, but I couldn’t think of what. The moving thing grabbed my hand, and led me somewhere white. I felt it push me to lie down, and I didn’t really care either way, so I went with it. And then it started doing something to my legs, and I felt something soft moving against my legs, and a coolness. It looked like my legs changed color. Then, the moving thing did something to the crinkly thing on my crotch. It was like it opened up, somehow, and a rush of cold air hit. I whimpered, and the moving thing made noises in response. Something cold and wet touched my crotch, and the crinkly thing moved away. And then a new crinkly thing was put on me, and the moving thing attached it to me, somehow. I reached out to touch it, amazed. And then the moving thing touched my head, and I felt something inside my head. The confusion began to ease, and I realized I was looking at her, crouching over me as I lay on the floor of the bathroom. “How was that?” She asked. “Amazing. Can we do it again?”
  19. In Need of a Changeling

    This is just a teaser, I'm going to finish the rest of The Fifth Column before I get any further with this, but I wanted to at least get the first chapter out after I had the idea, striking while the iron was hot and all that. It's something a little more down-to-earth, if you will, though that doesn't mean I'm not interested in telling an actual story. If you like it, let me know! It was a chill night, and the moon was full...FC: The moon was not full! In fact, it had been waning for half a week, and was the shape of a pumpkin that had just started to get old and fall in on itself. PC: Still, a full moon would have been far more imposing and dramatic. FC: We’re not writing drama here, we’re telling a story. PC: Fine...It was a chill night, and the moon was the shape of an old pumpkin.Nells crept up to the back door of the little human dwelling - A single-story affair that had only half a dozen rooms in it - and tried the handle. Immediately he regretted the decision, swearing and pulling away his hand, sucking on his fingertips to relieve the stinging sensation that came with the touch of iron.“Humans,” he muttered, making the word into a curse. Iron was less common in modern times, but humans still found ways to incorporate it into their lives. Exasperated, he added, “And I’m trying to help you!” Pulling back his flowing cloak, Nells retrieved a white silk glove from a pocket, drawing it over his slender fingers and trying the door handle again. With protection between his skin and the iron handle, he was able to grip it tightly, turning and finding the door unlocked, just as he’d suspected.Creeping inside, Nells peered back and forth for a moment, ensuring that the residents were not around. Though he was trying to be of aid, and indeed couldn’t have even entered had he meant harm, it would still be better for everyone if he went undetected. In a moment of indecision, Nells considered raiding the cupboards. Human food was a rare delicacy that he’d never had the priviledge to try, seeing as he’d never entered in a bargain with a human. For whatever reason, it was not commonly brought into the land of Faerie, and he’d never gotten the opportunity to acquire it himself. Seeing as he was now acting under the Brownie Code, though, he would be permitted to eat of their food in exchange for his aid - In fact, he was certain that access to human food was the only reason that brownies were helpful towards humans in the slightest, though if you ever implied that the food was payment then the nearest brownie would likely challenge you to a duel.Shaking his head and deciding that it was no time for distractions, Nells pressed on through the house, though he took the time to listen for any motion in the house, his pointed ears acutely aware of even the slightest noise.His feet were shod in soft boots that made no sound as he slipped through the home, and his black cloak and clothes kept him shadowed with darkness. The floorboards might have creaked under a heavier footstep, but his steps were so nimble that they made not even the slightest noise.On his belt, a thin silvery sword was hung, and Nells put his hand on the pommel as he approached the door at the end of the hallway, ready for whatever action he would have to take. He almost checked if the handle was made of iron, before realizing that the door was not even shut. Placing one hand lightly on the wood, he pressed forward, swinging the door open. “Hello, Nells.” The woman standing in the room was would only be called gorgeous by someone whose vocabulary lacked a stronger word. Like Nells, she wore all black - The better to sneak with - But unlike Nells, her outfit was a flowing dress, which blew with the gentle wind coming in through the open window. And in her arms, she held a child. It was the prerogative of all Unseelie fairies to kidnap children, of course. The female fairy was acting in her nature. However, it would not have been a fair and balanced world if there was not a power put in place to stop them, and so it fell on the Seelie Fae to stop them. “Ainsley,” Nells said, eyes narrowing. “Might I ask how you got in?”Ainsley shrugged. “You may, if you share how you entered as well.”Nells considered the trade, and finding it fair, asked, “How did you get in?” “I’ve spent many a day building a repertoire with this family,” Ainsley said. “Coming by, watching their little ones. They told me I could visit any time that I liked, and I chose to visit now, just before the stroke of midnight*.”FC: It was not just before the stroke of midnight, and Ainsley didn’t even say that line anyways. It was 1:37 in the morning, remember? PC: Poo. You’re no fun. FC: Of course not, I’m an editor.“Fair enough,” Nells said. “I’m acting under the Brownie code, by only taking actions which aid the best interest of the host.” “You’re working as a Brownie now?” Ainsley asked, raising an eyebrow. “I knew you’d lost your position as a Sprite, but that seems an awful step down in career choices.”“I’m not a Brownie, I’m just using their bylaws,” Nells explained, pausing for an awkward moment. “Well, I showed you mine, you showed me yours.”Ainsley paused. “This isn’t nearly so fun as the last time you said that. Perhaps you should take your clothes off and try again, see if that makes any difference.”Nells ignored the quip with some difficulty, gripping his sword tighter and looking around the room. There was one empty bed, wrinkled sheets and rumpled covers decorated with spaceships and stars. Across from it, in another bed, lay the tiny figure of a little girl, fast asleep. “You enchanted the girl,” Nells commented. “She will sleep until I leave,” Ainsley replied. She looked down at the boy in her arms, a human of perhaps a dozen years, and added, “He will sleep for much longer.” With all the power and bravado he could muster, Nells drew his sword in a smooth motion, pointing its tip at Ainsley in a dramatic gesture. “By the light of a thousand stars and by the cold night air, you will not steal this child!” Ainsley rolled her eyes. “Seelie boys,” she tsked. “You do love your big, dramatic gestures, don’t you?”“This isn’t dramatic,” Nells said. “If I was being dramatic, I’d have you pinned to the wall at the point of my sword.” Ainsley smirked. “As fun as that sounds, Nells, I’m here legally. The parents of this child owe me a debt.”Feeling the wind leave his sails a bit, Nells blushed and lowered his sword. “What debt?” Ainsley shrugged. “Many moons ago, the father needed a blood donation after crashing his carriage*. I saw to it that he got it.”FC: It was not, in fact, a carriage. It was a Toyota. PC: A Toyota Highlander. Unsourced reports say that it was attempting to crash into another Highlander. FC: Oh please. Nobody’s going to get that reference.Sword all the way to the ground now, Nells said, “You can’t donate blood. How-”“That’s another story, one that I’m not obliged to tell you,” Ainsley replied. “The point is, they owe a debt.” “Well…” Nells said, sputtering for a moment. “How much blood was it?” “One pint, I do believe,” Ainsley said. Nells felt his confidence flourish again. “That’s not near the worth of a child!”“No, but it’ll allow me to rent this child until the next full moon,” Ainsley said. “And as it happens, the cost of raising a human child to maturity has grown steadily over the passing of time. In fact, as long as I raise this child to the same standard of care that his parents would have, this will incur a constant debt which can only be paid by my further rental of the child.”“That’s not right,” Nells argued. “You can’t incur a secondary debt by leveraging a primary debt. That violates the primary terms of the Seelie Laws*. You’re effectively stealing the child forever!”FC: Please explain how this stuff works again, for the readers? I barely understand it myself. PC: While there technically exist two separate sets of laws for Seelie and Unseelie fairies, their trade agreements and negotiations are so tied up in one another that, for all intents and purposes, fairies of either court must abide by both, though only a Seelie Fae would bother to enforce Seelie law, and visa-versa. FC: Ugh. Your laws are so confusing! PC: You should meet our lawyers. FC: ...Ainsley shook her head, setting down the child for a moment and reaching in her pocket. She withdrew a small book, flipping open to a page near the middle. “Yes, but there’s an exception for obligations of care or hosting. Otherwise, at a party, the host would have no obligation to their guests after too much time expired, and visa versa.”Nells opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, then sheathed his sword and held out his hand. “Let me see that!” Ainsley offered the law book, and Nells sat down on the bed to flip through the pages, reading them carefully. “Okay, but-”“No, it’s covered in the addendum on the next page,” Ainsley said, before Nells could finish saying his obligation. “And besides…”Both of them went silent, hearing footsteps approach from down the hall. They turned and looked, and then looked at one another, and a moment of silent acknowledgment passed. Neither wanted to be seen by the human. “Take the child, I’ll distract them,” Ainsley whispered.“It was your decision to come here! You keep the child!” Nells whispered back.“I’m better at glamours than you,” Ainsley pointed out. Nells glowered, but took the child, moving to a back corner of the room and hiding himself and the child both in shadow. Ainsley’s form melted, meanwhile, shifting to perfectly resemble the boy that she had been holding in her arms only seconds before.A woman wearing a rumpled nightgown entered the room, spotting Ainsley immediately. “Sweetie, what’s wrong? Why are you out of bed?” “I couldn’t sleep, mommy,” Ainsley said, her voice sounding just like that of a human boy. “Bad dreams?” The woman asked. Ainsley nodded. “How about I go get you a glass of milk, alright? Would that help?” Again, Ainsley nodded. The woman smiled, said, “I’ll be right back,” and turned to leave. After the woman was gone, Ainsley reformed herself into her regular appearance, and turned to Nells. “That’s my cue to leave, Nells. Give me the boy. You’ve no legal grounds to stop me, anyways.”Nells grinned. “I found something. Under the stipulation for incurring a secondary debt, there’s a clause allowing for the trade of obligation as seen in section C-27.” Ainsley paused. “What? The Changeling rules of operation? What’s that got to do with anything?” “Well, it stipulated here that as a boon or favor, I can request to take up a holding in this opening that you’re creating through inaction, as stipulated… here, in subclause 1017-AB” Nells explained, pointing at a line in the law book. “‘So mayhaps that I might reap the yon benefyts’, etcetera etcetera.”Ainsley paused. “You lost me.”Nells grinned. “I owe you a favor, and I’m going to replace the child. That way, the humans are still paying all the costs of child-rearing, and you don’t get to keep the boy forever.” Ainsley frowned, reading over the rule, speaking a few words allowed. “‘Forsooth the wain fae must tayke up the child’s place, and-’ Remind me again why they don’t print the laws in common faerie? Reading the old language gives me a headache.”*FC: You’re not the only one!“Beats me,” Nells said. “But the point is, I can replace the child, and as long as the parents don’t notice that I’m a fae until the full moon, you’ll not get to keep him.”“And And if they do notice?” “Then I’ll be cast out of their home, and you get to keep the child.”Ainsley started to prepare a few hot words*, then tempered her anger and smiled upon a realization. PC: I’m being literal. Unseelie Faeries are associated with winter, sure, but fire was still a popular weapon of choice for any season. FC: You could have just said that in the text rather than going for the awful pun.“What?” Nells asked.“I’m under no obligation to tell you,” Ainsley said. “I appreciate the boon that you offer me, and accept it gladly. Have fun living with mortals, Nells, and have more fun enjoying all the mortal foods and comforts. Can I have the child now?”Nells paused, looking down at the boy in his arms, then nodded and passed him over. He’d intended that the child would never be separated from his parents at all, but since that wasn’t an option, he’d had to go for the next best thing.Ainsley gladly took the child, grinned, and said, “I’ll see you soon, Nells.” Then, with barely a blur of motion, she vanished out the window, child in tow. Taking a second to gather himself, Nells realized that he hadn’t yet cast a glamour. He really wasn’t as good at Ainsley, and without being able to see the child directly, it might be tricky for him to make the copy perfect - And it had to be perfect if he was going to fool the child’s parents until the next full moon. Glancing around, then, he saw a picture of the child, standing in some kind of uniform with peers all around him. That would do perfectly.Concentrating, he held his hands in the air and spun once, forming the glamour that would hide his true form and make him both appear and feel as though he were the boy who had been taken. Once changed, he walked to the window, looking out to see if Ainsley was still within view. It was unlikely, but possible, and he hoped to shout one last barb or insult after her before she was gone.At this point, the mother returned, holding a glass of warmed milk and looking at what was apparently her son, wearing his baseball jersey and standing by an open window. “Young man, just what exactly are you doing?” Nells swallowed, turning to face the woman. “Um… Looking for fairies?”PC: She didn’t believe him.
  20. Caught

    Caught It was a Friday and I was let off of work a few hours early. That meant I would be home about 2-3 hours before my girlfriend/Mommy got home.Yes,Im a submissive ABDL to Her, when not a work.As I walked thru the front door of Our house I saw the fresh diaper Mommy had laid out for Me on the couch.Im expected to put one on as soon as I get home.This time I walked past it and strolled to the fridge for a cold beer.I grabbed a can and popped the top.I was allowed to drink as many as I wanted with one stipulation.I had to drink it from a sippy cup or baby bottle.Today I was feeling rebellious.I carried the open can with Me out to the back yard on to our deck.Id now broken 3 rules.Diaper,drinking from a can and being outside with out Mommy.Still,I had lots of time and could be inside diapered and drinking from a sippy cup way before Mommy got home!No prob!I sat there in a lawn chair on the deck I had built and was proud of.I loved the view of our lawn with its many trees and green grass,all surrounded by a ten foot tall privacy fence. Finishing that first beer I went and grabbed two more, thinking I would drink them then get inside and diapered.Id just opened that 3rd beer when I had to pee.I walked to the edge of the deck,whipped it out and let the piss flow.Breaking another rule.I was only allowed to potty 1&2 in my diaper unless Mommy said different.I was in mid stream when I heard the back door fly open!"What the Hell is this" I heard Mommy yell! Part two With out thinking I quickly tucked my self back in to my pants still in mid stream wetting myself in the process.I turned to face Mommy who knocked the nearly full beer can from my hand."Get Your little ass up stairs to the bedroom and stand in the corner"! I ran to obey!As I waited in the corner I heard Mommy throwing my empty beer cans into the trash bin.Then open one for Herself and slamming the fridge door shut.She was pissed! Five minutes later I heard Her stomping up the steps.I heard her walk into the room and open the closet door.I guessed She was getting my changing pad."Get over here Young Man"! I slowly went to stand in front of Mommy head down.Not looking at me,Mommy undressed Me.As She laid Me down on the pad I saw why she would not make eye contact.Tears were running down Her sweet face.I felt rotten to the core."M-Mommy",I stammered,"please dont cwy.Im sowwy"! I dont often talk baby talk but some times Mommy likes it."Hush baby.Speak when spoken too", She told Me.She cleaned me,and put a fresh diaper on.Then pulled me up to sit on the edge of the bed. Wiping her tears and finally looking at Me She asked,"What were You thinking,to be so naughty Baby"? "I,I not thinking Mommy"I almost whispered. "Did You get home early today"? "Yes Mommy". "Well,You had to be thinking something.Like,maybe Mommy wouldn't catch You?Is that it?" "Yes, I so sowwy" "Maybe,You dont want to be a baby any more?Should We just get rid of all the baby things?" "No Mommy! No!" "Hmmm,We will see.Are You sure You want to be my baby"? "Oh yes Please"! Tapping Her foot looking down at Me Mommy said,"Well then,I guess You know You will have to be punished"? "Yes Ma'am Mommy". "Very well then.Ive just put a clean diaper on You so,im not going to waste it by taking it off to spank You for now.No,Im going to punish You in a new way.You wont know when,how,or where until I decide". I had a feeling Id rather have the spanking. Part Three Mommy had told me to stay in bed and to think about what I had done.To think about She and I. Mommys real name was Glenda.We had met 4 years ago on a camping trip with mutual friends.That first morning We were the first to wake up and,after sharing some coffee We decided to walk some trails just as the sun started to rise.Some how We wound up just holding hands and have been an item since then.After several months We decided She would move in with Me.I came home from work one day to hear Her humming in the kitchen.We exchanged a long kiss then,holding on to me at arms length Glenda looked into my eyes with a big grin on her face and She was blushing!I asked Her what was funny.She just shook her head and said to never mind and suggested I go take a shower and then supper would be done.That sounded good to Me!When I had showered and dressed I want back down stairs to find Glenda sitting at the table waiting for Me.I pulled out my chair to sit and all the color drained from my face. Laying there still neatly folded was a disposable adult diaper.One of a package that I never got around to throwing away. I looked from the chair to Glenda Who just Smiled."Awww.just sit down baby,lets talk and eat",She said. It seemed to me there was a new emphasis on the word baby.As We ate Glenda told Me that tomorrow being Saturday and the 4th of July Her office had closed at noon.She had been wanting to un box some of her things that I had put in the bedroom closet for Her thus She had found the diapers I thought I had hidden.Along with my blanket and pacifier!Then She asked Me point blank if I was an abdl."Whats that"I asked Her? "Oh come now"She answered,"after finding those baby things,I got on Your computer and learned a lot about You.Just admit it are You an abdl"? I was busted.With my head down I said,"I,Id like to be but I've never told anyone". Glenda came around the table and hugged Me from behind."Now You dont have to because I know",She kissed my cheek,"lets grab some beers and sit on the deck".We sat quietly for a long time i was at a loss for words. Glenda took My hand,"I love you as much right now as I did before.That hasn't changed.We can do this,starting Tomorrow.Your a very complex man my Love".For the rest of the night We sat there sipping beer and talking about any and everything else.Then We made love and fail asleep.That was my last night as grown man in Our home. The next morning I woke up to find a note on Glenda's pillow. Gone shopping.Breakfast in the microwave. Love Mommy In the microwave I found my breakfast.On the microwave I found another note. Dear David or Davey,I woke up excited about all We have talked about and what I've learned.Going to get some supplies We will need.In the mean time,please read and study some rules You must follow. 1. When at home or in any privet setting You will call Me Mommy. 2. At home alone and just the two of us You will always wear a diaper nothing else except socks. 3.You will always use Your diaper when You need to potty ay home. 4. always drink from a bottle or sippy cup. 5.When Mommy is away You may only watch cartoons on the T.V. 6.You are not to touch Your self unless so instructed. 7.You may not be outside when I am away. 8.No back talk or sass. I am sure that there will be more rules as we go but these are a good start. I know You have no desire to be the baby 24/7nor do I want that.I still need the man I fail in love with.However that could change,with disobedience. Now here I lay,thinking about how much I loved Mommy.How I had upset Her by breaking so many rules in one afternoon. Part 4 The weekend came and went and it seemed everything had returned to normal.I came straight home from work every day and put a diaper on as soon as I got walked in the door.In the evenings I did notice that Mommy seemed to be more attentive toward Me.She had taken to feeding Me at dinner for one thing.Also it seemed like I was messing my diaper a lot more than usual.I guessed I my have had a bit of s stomach virus.No big deal.One evening We were on the living room couch and Mommy opened her blouse and pulled Me to Her inviting Me to suckle her breast.She had no milk but We both enjoyed it.As usual I got an erection in my diaper. Mommy sat Me up."Oh no little one! The only bulge in that diaper better be in the back"! I knew then,that I had not yet been forgiven. "Mommy", I begged,'cant You please just punish Me and be done with it? Im so sorry,"! "Dont worry Baby,it will happen soon.Mommy loves You".We were silent for a few moments when Mommy spoke again."You know Baby Davey,Ive been Your Mommy for over three Years now." "I know Mommy,thank You". "And,in all this time,Nobody has found out that big strong David,the master carpenter,the great outdoors man, is really just a little boy who needs to be diapered and Mommied." Alarms went off in my head.I sat up."Mommy,what do You mean"? "Oh nothing sweetty.I was just thinking out loud.Whats that smell?Did You make a poopy"? Indeed I had wet and messed my self at the thought of being known.Mommy led me up stairs to the bedroom where she cleaned Me and changed Me.She kissed my lips good night."Night night little one. Tomorrow is the Saturday.Maybe We'll do some thing different this weekend." As I drifted off to sleep I thought I heard Her talking on the phone. Part Five It was Saturday morning and when I woke up Mommy was already on the patio having coffee.I had wet and messed my diaper in my sleep.This was a bit unusual.I always woke up even if I did have to use my diaper. I poured some coffee into a sippy cup and went outside."Good morning Mommy"I said happily! "Well,hi Baby! Its a beautiful morning isnt it"? "Uh huh,it is"!Sooo,Mommy,You said We might do something different this weekend"? "Yes,I did,and We will this evening"! "Yay"! I laughed,"what is it Mommy"? Mommy gave me a wierd smile."I cant tell You because its a surprise"! Some where in the back of my brain some thing whispered "Oh,oh",,, Mommy led Me into the kitchen and set some milk, cereal,and toast down,and told me to sit and eat. "But,Mommy,my diaper",,,, "I will be giving You a shower and a change after You eat",Mommy said firmly. This was new.Ive never minded a poopy diaper but it was starting to burn a little.I ate as quick as I could and was made to drink a class of grape juice.After I drank it all,Mommy took the empty sippy. "Okay baby,in the bathroom and wait for Me",Mommy told Me. I hurried because I really wanted out of that diaper!A few minutes later Mommy came in.She took off my diaper and used wipes to clean me before turning on the shower."Okay big Boy get in there"! She playfuly swatted my bottem as i stepped in.That lifted my hopes up a bit.Even more so when I saw Mommy undress!She grinned hugely at me as She got into the shower with Me."Mommy wants her baby to be squeeky clean today"She said in my ear.She washed my hair then my upper body.Skipping my privates to my legs and feet. Then back up to my bottom scrubbing my cheeks.Dropping the wash cloth she began to tickle my butt hole with a soapy finger."Do you like that Baby"She asked? "Oh yes Mommy"! Pressing her breast into my back she reached around and started soaping and stroking my cock,nibbling on my ears."And this baby"? "Yessss Mommy". "Its still hard to believe that a man this big and hard is really just a big baby.A grown man Who wets and shits in diapers.Dos it humiliate you some times Davey?To just Shit and piss Yourself right in front of Me?To be under My control?" I had gotten even harder."Yes Mommy! Its humiliating and I love it"! I was close to an orgasm,when Mommy reached down and turned off the hot water.It turned Ice cold! I was limp in a few seconds. "Okay lets get You all dried off baby"! After scrubbing Me dry We went into the bedroom where Mommy got a pull up style diaper out from her dresser.This was new. "Mommy"? "Oh,I didnt tell You,I have some lady friends coming over this after noon.I still want You diapered but no one will be able to tell with these under Your jeans!" I had started out years ago with pull ups and thought this to be true. "Okay Mommy". "Thats another thing.Until I say other wise today,lets both be adults in our conversation." "Sounds good to Me Glenda" I chuckled.This wasn't so unusual.We both needed and enjoyed for Me to be just David some times. Glenda kissed Me."So dos that mean I can take advantage of David The Grill Master today"? "Well Ma'am,I reckon I can rustle up a few steaks!How many heads will I be feeding"I asked in my best John Wayne! "Three guest and Our selfs.Tell Ya what David,We got some time,Why dont I whip Us up some margaritas and lets sit on the deck,relax and talk?" "Great idea Mom- oops Glenda"! Out on the deck We sat in lawn chairs sipping our drinks and chatting about our jobs and such things. I'd had the feeling that Glenda had some thing on Her mind and I was right. "I need to know something"She began,"In the shower You admitted You love the humiliation of being an abdl.Is that what this whole thing is about"? I didnt have to think twice. "No Hun.It aint.Yea it is a big part of it but,Its also a special bond in my mind.Growing up,I was never really close to any one.As an adult that hasn't changed much until You came along.Sure,I have some good friends and Id miss them if they went away.All the relationships Ive been in? There was just always some thing missing.I hate to say it but i had become rather with drawn over the last 8 years or so.I had quit even looking for some one.Id turned to porn as my only sexual outlet. Thats how I discovered the abdl life and I was just drawn like a moth to a bulb!I never dreamed that I would meet some one like You and Im so glad I kept forgetting to throw those diapers away all those Years ago"! Glenda laughed and kissed Me hard on the lips"Well Mister! Im glad You kept forgetting too"! I almost did something just then that had been on my mind a lot but thought Id wait jus a bit. Then suddenly Glenda looked at Me sternly."Speaking of forgetting.Dont forget You still have to be punished". Part Six Later that afternoon around 3:00 Glendas friends started to arrive.I had never met any of these ladies and assumed they all worked together.The 1st to arrive was Nancy A pretty rather plump blond with ample breast. dressed in jeans and a baggy sweater and a warm smile.The next two had rode in together Roxann and Janet. Roxann was as tall as Me with long flowing black hair and a models body.She looked Me up and down as We shook hands but,she had no smile at all.Janet on the other hand was not quite 5 feet tall,with flaming red hair,She had a mans hand shake and an ear to ear grin."Nice to meet You Young Man"She smiled.We all went into the kitchen So Glenda could put together a salad and a few other things.I went outside to start the grill and cook the steaks. My belly had began to grumble a bit uncomfortably but I told my self I was hungery.I went inside to grab myself a beer.Glenda was leaning against the sink counter and to my shock I saw two of my sippy cups and a baby bottle in the drain board on top of the sink.Glenda just smiled at Me,"Did You want a beer Davey"? Davey? "Uh yea.I realy need one" I managed to choke out.Glenda opened the fridge and handed me one. "Just this one for now okay Sweety"? "Yea,Sure.Of course." I know I was 3 shades of red as I went back outside.As I shut the door,I heard all the ladies giggle. At last all was ready to eat,We sat at the kitchen table to eat but I was a bundle of nerves.Each time I looked up from my plate my eyes were drawn to the sippy cups and the bottle on the sink.My belly was doing Jumping jacks and I could barely eat.I told myself it was nerves.Maybe If I started talking it would go away,, So,ignoring my discomfort I asked"So, do You lady's all work together"? There were looks exchanged a smiles all around."No,"said Glenda,"thats not how We met at all". "Oh I see" "We all know each other from a social media group"Roxann explained. "An adult media group"piped in Janet. I had began to sweat,My stomach churned and I wanted to be any where else.I thought I would say I needed to make sure the fire was out in the grill When Glenda stood up.'Davey?Would You be a Dear and clear the table?We ladys are going into the living room to talk". Glad to be alone I said I'd be happy to.I took my sweet time.Scraping and rinsing the dishes.I even loaded and started the dish washer.Just as I turned from the sink my belly cramped.I had to shit!I walked into the living room trying to get to the upstairs bathroom.Glenda was sitting in my recliner,while Nancy,Janet,and Roxann all sat on the couch.Then to my horror,I sat it!Laying on the floor was the changing pad,a diaper,and baby wipes. Here was my punishment."Where do You think Your going Davey"? "U up stairs to the bathroom Glenda". "Glenda"? "I really have to go,," "Glenda"? "M Mommy"? "Thats better! Who told You it was alright to use the big boy potty"? "But.but I just-" "But nothing",Mommy barked,"take off Your pants right now,right here"! I think my whole body blushed red! My head spun!"Mommy please no!" I saw Roxann hand Mommy a paddle with a mean smile on Her face.Janet was giggling. Nancy spoke up to Me."Be a good boy Baby and do as Your Mommy says". I thought at this point that this was good advice.I quickly chucked my shoes and stepped out of my pants. I found I had tears running down my face. "Theres my Good Boy" Mommy said,"now you may turn around,and go potty any time". No matter how badly I may have wanted too hold it I just could not!I started to pee,and the poop followed! I dont think ive ever pooped so much before or since! "Oh my Gosh"I heard Janet gasp,Ive never seen so much poo"! "It sure dos stink" Roxann chimed in! Mommy laughed "A night and a day of laxatives will sure do that!Turn back around Baby Davey" I did."This is the punishment I promised You.Please tell these other ladys why You're being punished" "Because I was naughty"? "Yes,We all know that.How were You naughty". I was sniffing back tears now."I didnt put a diaperon when I got home from work", "And,,," I was almost sobbing now."A and I didnt use my sippy cup! I went outside when Mommy was gone and I went pee pee on the grass!"Suddenly i actually felt a bit better.Surely it was all over now.Not! "Baby I want You to sit down on the pad." I hesitated."Just do it Baby"Mommy said sweetly. I sat down and of course the mess sread all over my butt in the diaper.Then to my further humiliation I found I had a raging boner!"Oh look!"Nancy said in delight,"Hes got a hard wee wee! How cute"! Janet got up and whispered in Mommys ear.I saw Mommy smile and nod her head."What a great idea" Mommy said!Then She got out of Her chair and knelt beside Me."Gather round ladys"! Roxann Janet And Nancy all moved closer as Mommy began to rub Me thru my diaper."You see girls, My little has let Me know that he loves humiliation,thats why hes so hard right now.Look at him laying here in a poopy diaper with such a hard on!Stinking to high heaven and pumping against my hand! Almost with out warning I was making another mess in the front of my diaper and it was intense!As I lay there panting Janet reached down and tickeled my chin."Oh such a good boy" She cooed,"did him make cummies in his diaper"?My mind and body were reeling. I couldn't think of a thing to say,so I looked up to Mommy. "Sweety.Why dont You take a nap right here and Mommy will change You when You wake up"?From some where She produced My pacie and put it to my lips.I curled up and closed my eyes and for awhile listened to the four of them talking softly. "Well He is rather cute"said Janet. "Perhaps so" murmured Roxann, "but You should keep the paddle I brought over for the next time"! "I will do that" Mommy whispered. "Glenda,if You ever need a sitter call Me"Nancy offered. *********** Some time later I felt Mommy shaking Me awake."Lets get You cleaned up Sweety". I lay there as Mommy took off the dirty pull up and cleaned Me up. "Mommy? Who were those 3 friends of Yours"? "Well,remember the day I first found out You wanted to be a little"? "Uh huh". "I told You then that I found all Your abdl web sites but,I didnt tell You, that I joined a few." "You did"? "I did.I wanted to learn all I could to be a good Mommy for You.Roxann,Nancy and,Janet are all Mommys too so I learned a lot from them"! "Mommy"? "Yes Baby"? "I love You too the moon"! ************************* Over the next few following days I thought about Mommy a lot.She had done so much.alwys putting Me first. It was time for Me to give back.I did not want to completely give up being a little but it was time to do something diferrent.I talked with Mommy about this.Now days Im the baby the first and the third week of each month.On those adult weeks We go dancing and dining.We take long walks and hold hands.Some times at night while We sit out on Our deck having a beer or mixed drinks,I go stand on the edge and take a leak.Because Im a big boy and I can. /
  21. Since I wear diapers almost every day (I take them off under some circumstances), my answer to this question is yes. What about you?
  22. Babybub in with new bibs

    From the album Babybub

    What do you think of my new bibs especially made for me.
  23. ABDL Minecraft Server

    Hello everyone, I wanted to let everyone know, I am hosting a Minecraft SMP server for ABDl players. This is a Cooperative server and we already have about 10 players. If you are looking for a fun way to play minecraft with other ABDL people let me know and we can get you white listed and playing in no time! I hope to see some of you on there soon! Andrew
  24. I’m Korey, from kinkycloth.com! Our website sells DDLG, ABDL, MD, CG/L, Pastel Goth apparel and accessories. We're opening registration to partners 18 and over and this seemed like an excellent resource to get in touch with our community! We offer 10% commission on all orders! We also offer banners for advertisements and we give permission to use any photos on our website/social media! To learn more/sign up for the affiliate program, visit the link below and if you have any questions please contact us! More info: https://www.kinkyclo...ages/affiliates Thank you! Korey at http://Kinkycloth.com PS: My Daddy and I (who are 18+) made the website together. We are having a wonderful time making it together and we hope you'll check it out, even if you aren't interested in being a promoter for us!