LostBBoyBear

I guess you'll just have to wait and see... As far as the setting, I would highly recommend checking out the map I did of Libertalia, but to answer your question... yes. Alati Lake City, the Carer+ building, and now Peirama are all in the state of Utem... our Utah.

Hey everyone! Okay… so maybe not my most popular story by a long shot so far, but it seems several of you have already voted in the poll, so I thank you for that. As I always say, I don’t write these stories for the likes or views, but any engagement with my stories or the polls is always nice to see, so, for those of you that have already, thank you very much. Now, speaking of the poll… just as a reminder, a new one is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 3: Waiting But Not Hoping Day 6 – 9:12 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Head down… into the back like a good girl now, you hear?” the police officer instructed as he slightly pushed Ashley toward the rear of his squad car. Handcuffed already, Ashley knew not to struggle at this point. There would likely be time to fight later, but now… she knew she couldn’t risk agitating the situation even more by refusing to cooperate. Sure, there was a risk of everything suddenly going wrong and her being whisked to a black site somewhere far off and never to be seen again, but those situations were few and far between… at least that was the hope. ‘Just get me to the interview room and I’m sure I can take care of this… or… at least I hope I can. Gotta stay positive, Ashley!’ “Central, this is Officer Munez,” the gruff spoke into his walkie. “I have a Little fitting roughly the description from the escaping Little reported missing earlier tonight. Bringing her in for processing now.” Buckling her seatbelt with her hands still cuffed in front of her, Officer Munez closed the door and went to the front seat of the squad car. Not long after, a younger and stockier man entered the squad car as well. “Well?” Officer Munez questioned. “Anyone else? Signs of anything illegal… maybe even rogue portal activity, Officer Jones?” “No, sir,” Officer Jones responded, shaking his head. “Checked all around. No signs of illegal tech or burn marks from a portal travel blip gone wrong. No discarded clothing, IDs, or anything illegal either.” “Hmmm…” Officer Munez pondered while he shifted the car into drive. “Well, we better bring her into the department for questioning anyways. Definitely a person of interest hiding out like she was…” “I… yes, sir…” Officer Jones dejectedly looked back at Ashley, but the Little refused to say a word. ‘Just get me there in one piece… Don’t panic… Don’t struggle… Don’t scream…’ * * * Day 6 – 10:04 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Another Little on the books, huh, Munez?” a suited man joked harshly as Ashley started to be booked. From the looks of the other officers, it didn’t seem to be noted as a compliment. “Oh… Detective Staunton…” Officer Munez looked back at the detective with a pinched expression, one which Ashley took note of. ‘I don’t think those two are friends in any capacity…’ He then smiled slyly. “Good of you to notice my record. Ten Littles this week and counting. Must be some kind of convention in town with all these Littles breaking the law.” Officer Munez paused for a moment. “Or… maybe if you actually upheld some of these convictions, there wouldn’t be so many breaking the law so vagrantly around here.” Detective Staunton waved his finger and smirked before walking off, seemingly taking the high road by not escalating the situation further. Once out of earshot, Officer Munez grunted annoyedly and then turned his attention back to Ashley. “Come on, Little. Processing time…” Leading Ashley to a chair, she sat down and immediately felt small compared to the large wooden desk before her and all the towering officers walking by right behind her. Dropping a stack of files before her and startling her a little, Ashley then stared wide at the pile that almost seemed to threaten to swallow her. ‘Yikes! Please tell me that’s not all the charges!’ “These… are the files of outstanding Littles in the area that match your description,” Officer Munez noted, almost like he could read Ashley’s thoughts. “I bet you match at least one of them… but I promise you this… we’ll be here all night until I get some answers.” Ashley swallowed and looked terrified but still remained as quiet as ever. * * * Day 6 – 11:41 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Hey, man… look you got what you wanted. Ashley Stevens and all… nothing wrong there, right?” Ashley had been at the police station for over an hour now, but Officer Munez seemed to be purposely dragging his feet. Officer Jones assisted him dutifully, but a flash of guilt kept eclipsing his face. Officer Munez looked at her confiscated ID. “Maybe… but you’re a liar, and I intend to prove it.” He then scoffed at her. “Also… nothing but an ID and a hotel keycard… not to mention that you were found in the very vicinity where a FOY drug bust went down.” Officer Munez placed the ID back down on the desk and walked over to where Ashley was standing behind the prison bars of the main holding area, having been put there after about 40 minutes of her answering in a way that Officer Munez clearly didn’t appreciate. Unfortunately for her, there was little room to maneuver about and on top of that, she was the only Little in this cage. In the one on the other side of the room, however, it was nearly bursting with other similarly looking Littles. “But just so we’re clear… you’re a Little. Even if all the other stuff wasn’t the case and my sense about these things wasn’t ringing loud and clear… you can’t do a thing about this.” He smirked a tiny bit at that notion. “You’re a Little… and that means a judge has to sign off on you being let go. So, for now… you stay right where you are.” He then paused and looked over to a room clearly marked ‘Interrogation.’ “Also… how much do you wanna bet that we get the dealer to come out and after putting you in a line-up… he chooses you in less than a minute, huh?” Ashley backed up and remained silent… fear washing over her eyes vividly. Officer Munez smirked sickeningly. “Yeah… I thought that might be the case. Just you wait, missy. We’ve got a whole night ahead of us and…” “Boss?” Officer Jones called out to his partner as he held up Ashley’s ID to the light. Officer Munez quickly turned, annoyed but seemingly interested in the small slip of plastic. “You might want to come and see this!” “Oh?” Officer Munez questioned the Little with nearly a hint of glee in his voice. “You found something?” Officer Jones nodded, and Officer Munez quickly joined him and looked at the ID. To the obvious dismay of Ashley, he then smirked widely. “Oh… little lady… do we have some questions for you.” Ashley gulped heavily. ‘Whatever they’re seeing… it can’t be good for me…’ “Hey, Little one…” a Big then creepily spoke up behind her. Ashley turned and saw the greasy-haired and bearded Big sitting on the bench and staring right at her. “You need someone to help you? I could be that help… if you want…” He smiled, showing off his crooked yellow teeth. ‘Oh great… can this night get any worse?’ * * * Day 7 – 1:34 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Tell us where you got this ID and tell us now!” Officer Munez slammed on the table, causing Ashley to flinch and look down in fear at her presented ID on the table. “Are you working for LRG? The resistance? Are you an escaped Little?” “N… no! I don’t know!” Ashley was turning desperate. For almost two hours now, she had been questioned on and off by Officer Munez. He was clearly trying to shake her down for information, but Ashley hadn’t given anything up… not that she could. Yes, she was lying about being ‘Ashley Stevens’ but as the interrogation proceeded, it became clear that Officer Munez thought she was a native Little and had joined one of the ‘anti-Big’ organizations… or at least that’s what some of the more hardened Bigs called them. In truth, from her research, Ashley knew they just wanted equality and fair treatment under the law. After tonight, though, she couldn’t blame them, but for now… she had to focus on herself. “I swear! I’m from Earth! Why don’t you believe me?” “Why?” He pressed closer. “Why?” Ashley nodded rapidly and Officer Munez smirked sinisterly. “Why is because this ID…” He pressed his pointer finger down on the edge of Ashley’s ID card. “This ID… is a fake. A damn good one, but fake.” Ashley’s eyes bulged out and her breathing increased. ‘Oh shit… oh shit… Damn it, Stuart! What did you screw up now? I knew I should have gone with Sgt. Elias’ work instead for this assignment!’ “Hmmm… would you look at that?” Officer Munez recoiled slightly, not in shame or fear, but of absolute triumph. “Guess I’ll take that as a yes then. Fake ID and a Little in my city. Well, looks like you’re going to be in for a world of hur…” “Officer Munez!” the interrogation room door slammed open, and Detective Staunton appeared, looking both disappointed and horror-stricken with the scene before him. “You are relieved from this interrogation.” Officer Munez stood up from his slightly crouched over position in interrogating a Little and glared at the detective. “This is my collar. You find your own da…” “Officer Munez!” a portlier and more gray-haired figure then appeared as Detective Staunton filtered into the room. The imposing man’s mustache seemed to bristle with each breath and would have even looked unruly if not for what had to be its religiously combed straightness just covering his upper lip. “You will release this Little into Detective Staunton’s custody immediately. If we hadn’t just had one of our larger busts of this whole year so far, you would have been out citing parking tickets and reeling in the drunks long before now.” “Chief… I…” It was apparent that the Chief commanded a great deal of respect… even from someone as odious as Officer Munez, seemingly silencing Officer Munez without speaking a single word. Ashley looked bewildered at the scene before her, but a feeling of relief seemed to be quickly replacing it. ‘At least maybe I’ll get some justice now… maybe…’ Not saying a word further, the Chief just pointed out the door, to which Officer Munez humbly followed. “Okay, Staunton,” the Chief said with a sigh once Officer Munez had completely left, “talk to the Little. See what’s really going on here. I want to get to the bottom of this before morning so the judge can make a decision right away. Understand?” “Yes, sir.” The Chief nodded, and then left the room, now leaving the detective all alone with Ashley. ‘Okay… he seems better… but right now, I don’t think I can count on my luck turning around anytime soon tonight…’ Sitting down, the detective pulled out a manilla folder and opened it. Ashley stared wide-eyed at the contents, that despite being upside down, were clearly of her. “Okay… Ashley… Stevens…” He sighed and stared back up at Ashley. “That’s not your real last name… is it?” Ashley could only swallow hard and not say a word. At this point, denying question could be used against her later, but if she confirmed it, then her position as a Little from Earth would immediately be put into question… and that would be even worse. “Very well…” the detective noted glumly. “I guess we need to go through all this again. See… I can’t just let you leave at this point. If nothing else, you are a Little with a fake ID…” “It’s from Earth!” Ashley blurted out. ‘Maybe if I claim that instead of one being from here, he might not know. Maybe all this is just a clerical error rather than a massive mistake from Stuart?’ The detective paused and looked down at the ID closely. “Yes… I can see that.” Ashley looked relieved, but the detective then leaned forward. “But still… I can tell it’s a fake. With so many Littles coming over from Earth now, most police take a yearly refresher class in Earth studies. I actually pay attention, and this,” he held up the ID card, “is a fake. A very good fake, but a fake, nonetheless.” Ashley remained motionless, her possibly last saving grace now vanishing in the wind in the blink of an eye. ‘Well, crud… I guess I’m really in this thing now…’ Ashley sighed and sat back in her chair in defeat. “Now,” the detective continued, smiling warmly back at Ashley, “let’s take this from the top and see if we can find any truth somewhere here, okay?” Not sure of what else to do, Ashley could only nod back. * * * Day 7 – 6:12 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 The detective sighed as he came back in the room and shook the sleeping Little awake. Ashley had fallen asleep about an hour ago while the detective was out conferring with the Chief and a few other selected personnel. “Ashley… Ashley… wake up, please…” “Wha…?” Ashley stirred to life and confusion quickly followed by panic and then soon after by what could only be described as dread set in, likely in the realization that all this hadn’t been some horrible nightmare. “What do you want?” she asked grimly. The detective walked back over to his former seat and leaned over on the table. “Well, our little chat helped your case immensely. If it was up to Officer Munez, I think you might have gone to one of those dreaded reform centers…” Any sleepiness left in Ashley dissipated in less than a second as she recoiled in her chair over the thought of going to one of those places. ‘Oh God, no, please no! I remember those places in the report! I won’t become some pants filling newborn Little trapped in this world!’ “I see you’re familiar with them, but take it easy…” He held up his hand to calm her fears, and it along with his calming words seemed to work a little, but Ashley still seemed petrified. “I would never allow that to happen. I’m a Big that thinks those horrible places should be outright banned, but… I guess I’m more of a progressive Big these days on that front. Still…” His warm smile faded. ‘Oh no… that can’t be a good sign…’ “I’ve looked at all the options here for you…” He then pulled out another file and opened it to several pages. “I looked into your story… about the Hermes Travel Company… and well, it seems they have a policy in one of their clauses that you violated. Seems leaving the group severs their liability from you getting captured and they are under no obligation to retrieve you again. They were able to confirm you were from Earth, but I’m afraid with a fake ID and you still refusing to tell us your real name, the Earth embassy,” he pointed to another document with several notes scribbled within the margins, “cannot intervene either. With the treaty in place… they simply can’t take back a Little without the proper documentation. And getting that back… well, it can take a while…” ‘I think I know what he’s trying to imply, but holy… please, please let me be wrong…’ Ashley grimaced and leaned forward. “Tell it to me straight, but please tell me I’m wrong in what I’m thinking… please, detective…” The detective sighed and shook his head. “I’m afraid so…” Pain overtook his expression. “For now… you are stuck here. And…” A further look of sadness now began growing over his face, “according to Utem state laws… you are now a ward of the state…” The words seemed to slam into Ashley like she had just been hit by a train, the Little even collapsing back into her chair… silent, stunned, and horrified. ‘I wanted a story… I guess I’m the story now… shit…’ “I’m so sorry… Ashley…” His words of her name seemed somehow forced and foreign to him, but hearing her name, Ashley looked on at the detective with the ever-briefest ray of hope. “I just… I wish there was another way, but my hands are tied.” He sighed and pulled his chair to the other side of the table where she was at. “But please don’t look so glum… these facilities are much nicer than they used to be. I even put in a good word for you, so you should get…” A sudden knock on the door cut off his words entirely. The detective looked back at Ashley for a moment, but she still seemed too entranced in her own worries to notice. “Just wait right here. Let me see if that’s who I think it is…” The detective then stood up and went over to the door, opening it just to see who was out there. A few muffled voices from the outside echoed in, but Ashley couldn’t make much out. ‘I’ve been in sticky situations before… Mexico… Iraq… Germany… even that one time to Japan was a little hairy… but this? How do I get myself out of this one?’ As the muffled voice continued though, one thought did pop into her head. ‘Mr. Swarthout… he said October to send help… it’s June now… Shit and double shit! That’s four months that… I… I have to make it here until then… Shit! I… well, I’ve got to try…’ “I think it’s too early. I only just told her about you all and…” Detective Staunton paused and looking back, Ashley could see him nodding to someone just outside of the door, their voice nearly entirely muffled… likely as a result from a more soft-spoken figure and the soundproofing of the interrogation room. “Yes… yes… no, I understand. Just… I know you usually do, but as a favor to me, please make sure to go easy on her…” A few more muffled responses followed, but then, the door opened. Turning fully around to see who could possibly come into the room at this early hour, but Ashley’s eyes widened as she saw the dark blue uniform she had seen before… and questioned. “Hello, dear,” the older and kindly woman began, her wrinkles stretching across her face, almost accentuating her gentle smile. “My name is Janice… you can call me Miss Janice, but I’m from Carer+. I’m here to take you home…” From any other lips, especially from someone like Officer Munez, those words would have seemed mocking or just completely false. From Janice though… there was an odd truth and certainty to them… of which the relief could then be seen wash over Ashley. ‘I don’t know about this… but I guess of all the options… this is the least objectionable… I guess?’ “A little shy maybe?” she questioned as she leaned over to Detective Staunton, almost like Ashley suddenly wasn’t in the room right in front of them. “Nervous more like it…” The detective then walked over to Ashley before crouching down. “Again… I’m so sorry about all this, Ashley, but Miss Janice is going to help you now. And I promise… she isn’t so bad.” He then turned back to Miss Janice, who proceeded to quickly step forward and nod her head. “That’s right, sweetie,” she confirmed. “I just want you to be safe and happy. So… whenever you’re ready, hop off that seat and we’ll get you all sorted…” Ashley looked between Janice and the detective, both smiling down at her with a sincere kindness that she valued. ‘I guess there’s always worse, but… and I know I don’t have a choice by now… I just…’ Ashley temporarily winced. ‘I guess out of the frying pan and maybe into the fire…’ Sighing, she then hopped off the chair and soon followed the two out the door. * * * Day 7 – 5:25 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley itched what best could be described as a religious school uniform, complete with the knee-length green and blue plaid smock, the white shirt underneath, and even the ankle-length white socks and black shoes. “Ugh! This blasted collar!” She grimaced and still yanked at the Peter Pan collar, seemingly searching for relief. Finally, she gave up and began to pout. “I guess it’s my own fault for dressing more casually… as soon as I got to this place… off went all my clothing and replaced by… this.” Her disgust was palpable was she flexed out the seemingly stiff plaid dress she now wore. She sighed heavily. “I mean… I guess Carer+ isn’t that bad, but… I’m definitely not treated as an adult here. I have to ask permission for everything… even the… bathroom.” She winced and then slowly lifted her skirt, revealing a childish set of thick training pants, complete with an embroidered sunshine over the front. “It was either these or pull-ups… and… well, that’s not really a choice, is it? Worse… they even made it seem like a privilege to even be wearing them in the first place. Not good at all.” With a small groan, she let her dress fall back down. “Definitely a story here… though I think I’ll have more a problem of which to choose in the first place. I mean, all the other Littles have ever worse stories. Some already looked regressed… one even wet themselves without any warning. They cried… others laughed… Janice just took her away and brought her back with a waddle.” Ashley shivered at the implication of what that meant. “I… I need to find a way out and back home but these ‘carers’ just won’t leave me al…” “Ashley?” a woman’s voice asked from the other side of the door after a small light tapping. “Are you okay in there? Is someone with you or… did you have an accident, sweetie? It’s okay if you did… I just need to…” “No!” Ashley shouted, a slight blush enveloping her cheeks at the mere notion. “Just needed to take a second for myself… I…” Panicking slightly, likely over the notion of her camera being somehow found, she turned on the sink, dried her hands, and then opened the door. “Just needed a second… washed my hands too.” “I see…” the tall woman, slightly younger than Janice though still showing streak of gray in her hair, said smiling right before crouching down to get more on eye-level with Ashley. “Were you talking to yourself, dear? It’s okay if you were… we find that some Littles need a little conversation with the only one they can trust after whatever ordeal that they’ve been though… often settling on themselves. Maybe I can interest you in a bear or maybe a rabbit instead? A stuffy always…” “No, no!” Ashley grimaced at the notion of possessing a stuffed animal. “I’m fine… thank you.” The words seemed to hurt to say, but she knew to keep peaceful relations with her ‘captors.’ In truth, according to Big laws here at least, all this was perfectly legal, but for Ashley… it helped to think of them as jailors instead of any other name they chose to call themselves. “Suit yourself,” the woman said with a sigh. “If you ever need any help or comforting while you’re here though… you just let me know. I’m told I give the best hugs.” As if to emphasize her statement, her arms went wide as if she expected the Little to fully embrace her right then and there. Ashley though, shook her head. “No, I’m good… I just… I’m good.” “Very well,” the woman then stood back up and gestured for her to follow. “Come along dear… it’s dinner time and I know no Little… no matter how mature they believe they are… could always use a yummy meal.” Ashley’s left eye quivered, clearly keeping her true emotions in check taking a little toll on her, but she only nodded and followed the woman back into the main area of the building. * * * Day 8 – 10:23 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley sat on a small and colorful plastic chair, eerily reminiscent of the ones that could be found in any preschool or toddler room. Despite her childish attire though, a quick look over the rest of the Littles in the room marked her as one of the more mature. A few seemed undiapered, but most looked as if they had gone through a lot already. “Hey… what’s your name?” Ashley questioned to the Little directly opposite of her, now furiously coloring in a scrap piece of paper… lines seemingly meaning very little to them. The Little briefly paused and looked up at Ashley. “Wen-ay…” Ashley stared back at her fellow Little, trying to decipher what she had just gargled out. “René? Is that your name?” The other Little enthusiastically nodded, like that it was rare someone was actually able to pronounce her name, her pigtails flapping all about as she did so. “Oh, well good to meet you, René.” She smiled briefly back at Ashley. After a little time of the two just staring at each other, Ashley sighed over not being responded to at all. ‘I guess I need to adjust my expectations for lengthy conversations with most of these Littles…’ She then turned her attention back to René to hopefully start something back up again between them. “So... you been here long?” She looked for an answer from the Little, but René had already gone back to coloring speedily. Right as Ashley was prepared to get her attention again, however, the Little popped a large pacifier into her own mouth. Recognizing a frustrating source… if not useless one now, Ashley knew she had to move on. Most in here had great stories, but getting them out to actually report on was proving to be a challenge. Most seemed just above a toddler level, but even the ones higher than them seemed not much better in multiple ways. Some Littles had speech impairments while others had loss of muscle control or basic hand-to-eye coordination. Even worse, Ashley estimated that at least 60% were in diapers all the time, and another 30% at least wore some kind of protection. Needless to say, her investigation hadn’t progressed much beyond everyone’s initial story that she already knew. Later, just as her final potential Little wandered off in search of a snack rather than a desperately needed change, Janice popped over and briefly paused before looking down with questioning but already disappointed eyes. “Oh, Ashley… is that you?” Ashley’s eyes bugged wide, and it looked like she was about to lose it right then, but her arms dropped to her side, and she breathed in and out deeply three times. Truthfully, she was learning… or conforming. Either way… the system here seemed to work for her. “No, Miss Janice… it was…” She went to point at the culprit, but they had vanished from sight already. “It wasn’t me… they left already…” “Oh… I see…” A faint hint of relief could be seen in her eyes. “Well, that’s good, because today starts your interview process.” “Interview process?” Ashley questioned. ‘Is this for a job? Am I finally being recognized as an adult and not some little kid?’ “Yes, dear…” Janice dropped to the floor where Ashley was now seated and picked up three small dolls. “This is you… the smallest.” Ashley willed it within herself not to roll her eyes. “These others,” she noted, gesturing to the two larger dolls,” are us Bigs. “Now, one used to take car of you. Maybe they weren’t even a Big back home on Earth, but they cared for you back then. Seeing your situation though, you left them…” Janice’s eyes briefly saddened, and she even pouted her lips. “They must be very sad, but now…” She set the first tall doll away and jumped the smaller doll over a discarded box of crayons. “Now, you are here, but… oh no!” An exaggerated look of worry took hold of her. “You have no one else to help you!” Ashley groaned but quickly shoved that feeling deep back inside of her. Janice had been understanding and patient… but Ashley knew better. ‘Don’t test her patience now, Ash. She’s nice and all… but she’s a Big and explaining all this with dolls to you. Don’t put it past her to punish you like the child she thinks you are…’ “Oh?” Janice continued, now looking happy and surprised. “What’s this?” She had the second of the two Big dolls hop over and then bow to the smaller doll. “It looks like a new Big wants to help you… guide you…” The dolls were then set down and Janice turned back to Ashley with a smile. “So… that’s what will start happening today… like all others in here…” Ashley squinted, hoping she was wrong, but looking queasy likely because she knew her gut instincts were right. Smirking, Janice scooted closer to Ashley. “Today… a Big or even two Bigs will come and start interviewing you, dear… for adoption, I mean.” Ashley once again grimaced, and her hand briefly touched her stomach as if she was in pain. ‘Yeah… that’s what I was worried about…’ * * * Day 8 – 2:16 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley drummed her fingers together as she sat in a room eerily similar in layout to the interrogation room that she had just been in yesterday morning. Of course, being the daycare-like building it was, instead of unfeeling concrete and cold steel greeting her eyes, the colors seemed almost too bright, the smiling cartoon animals playing with each other nearly fading away against such extremes. Considering that two of the four were diapered and that the third was wearing some kind of pull-up, Ashley could only sigh for what waited for her on the other side of the doors. Being left here, Ashley had all the time in the world to think. ‘Do I try and escape here, or do I wait until I’m housed with whomever these new Bigs are? Maybe if I stay, I’ll get an even better story? But what if I stay and the first thing that they do is to send me to a clinic and have me butchered for their own purposes? Would I still be a credible journalist if I spoke with a lisp and had to crawl everywhere?’ Before she could think any more though, the door slowly opened, and Janice walked in first. “All ready, dear? Ready to take that first step here to happiness? Ready to meet your first prospective carers?” Ashley grimaced and tried to lean over to see if she could make out the figure or figures about to come in, but Janice’s large form blocked the outside hallway almost completely. Resigned, she rubbed the side of her head and then smiled back at Janice, putting on a performance of some kind. “I’m ready.” “Very good…” Janice smile and opened the door further. “Now… if you need anything, just let me know.” Ashley nodded and Janice gestured just outside the door. “Come on in…” Looking back in the room, she smiled. “Ashley… I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Apolonia.” * * * Day 10 – 12:38 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 * Footage not found. * * * * Day 11 – 2:49 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley sighed in resignation. It’s not that everyone here was horrible, but she just wasn’t a Little… or at least not the Little everyone seemed to want. Yes, that meant that Ashley still had control of her bladder and bowels… yes, that meant she had her teeth and could walk… yes, she wasn’t afraid of the dark, and no, her favorite show was not Adventure Sam or Lyle the Giraffe. And that was fine, but… rejection still stung, especially after interviewing with 23 couples. For perspective, a Little like René had been accepted by a couple up north after only her third… and that was fairly typical around here. To Ashley, following the pattern, it seemed that only troubled Littles, usually emotionally, had more than 20 interviews. Of course, most Littles could only do a few a day before needing a diaper change or getting too bored or emotional to continue. Ashley had been running straight through, and three days on… she was exhausted. “Ashley? Ashley, dear?” a voice came from above, the feed strangely blurring her out slightly. Ashley stirred and the image of the woman came back into focus. “Janice? When you’d get here?” Janice smiled sympathetically and patted Ashley on the back. “Just a minute or so ago, sweetie. But here…” she then passed a cup over to her. “Drink this. It’s just juice… nothing sinister or anything like that, but… another couple is here to meet you. One’s a scientist of sorts and the other is a botanist. Isn’t that interesting? The two were just dying to meet you.” “Yeah, great... but… a couple?” she questioned before drinking the sweet juice she had come to appreciate here. ‘Those are actually pretty rare from what I’ve seen… something about a drop in the male populace I think I read? Not sure about that, but… sound they sound interesting at least…’ Janice nodded. “That’s right. They come from a small town south of here. Seem like good people too… It’s a nice bonus.” She then stopped talking for a while. Finally, hearing a little beep on her watch, she smiled down at the Little. “So, you ready to meet them?” Ashley sighed and set down the cup of juice, now mostly empty, which Janice promptly took back. “I guess as ready as I’m going to be…” “Okay then…” Janice then walked back to the main door of the interview room as she always did and briefly turned back to Ashley. “I know you will but… smiles and best behavior please…” Straightening up, Ashley remained silent but still smiled, knowing the routine cold by now. Smiling back, Janice opened the door before looking back out at whoever was there this time. “Mr. and Mrs. Jones? You can come in and see her now.” * * * Day 13 – 10:24 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Do you have everything packed, sweetie?” Janice asked as Ashley finished the last steps of packing her small suitcase. Since she had come here six days ago, Carer+ had lived up to their name. She had been fed, allowed to shower independently, and was dressed each day in clothing befitting a Little with some maturity… childish, but that was a spectrum, even in Utem these days. So, folding her clothes up nicely, each fit into her small suitcase nicely. “I do, thank you, Miss Janice…” This time, her ‘thank you’ was less forced… more genuine as if they had become closer in that span of less than a week. Considering the alternatives though, it might have been more of a case where both appreciated each other’s uniqueness… a less strict Big and a more mature Little. “Well, I know it’s not much we could give you, but… the Jones’ should provide you with plenty of new clothing.” She started walking to the door but then stopped and held up a finger. “Oh… and packed plenty of training pants?” Ashley immediately blushed but nodded… even shoving one shirt aside to show the hidden thick undergarments underneath. “Yes, Miss Janice…” The Big simply nodded back, choosing not to press anything further. Soon, both exited the room and walked through the daycare. Despite most of the Littles shooting through the Carer+ building within a week of coming here, they had made it a tradition to celebrate as each of them departed towards their new families. It wasn’t big by any means, but a nice farewell celebration as they exited out, marked the occasion nicely. “Goo’ wuck, Ashie!” one Little shouted, a tiny amount of drool discernable at the edges of their lips. Similar sentiments echoed behind them as well… most looked about the same. Ashley smiled back but sighed once out of eyeshot of them. ‘Not sure if they know all what’s happening anymore… but it’s still nice to be sent off like this…’ “Come on, Ashley,” Janice beckoned, holding the front door open to the point of letting in a blast of hot air from the outside. Being mid-June already, the temperature had begun to creep up as the sun rose from the distant mountains. Donning a pair of plastic purple sunglasses, which Ashley had initially thought were both ridiculous but functional, she could just make out the highway beyond the parking lot as it weaved below the hill the Carer+ building was perched on. ‘Day 13… The tour group should be in Prata by now… hundreds of miles away from here even if I did somehow break free…’ As the waiting car hummed in the near distance, ready to take Ashley away to some ‘town south of here,’ it increasingly felt that any attempt at escape would now be completely on her own. She had half-expected the tour group to somehow realize their error and come find her when she didn’t show up… but after the third day here… that hope quickly faded. Now, it was almost all but gone. “Well, come on in, honey,” the tall blonde woman beckoned as she opened the car door. “Mr. Jones is already inside and keeping the car cool. But we need to hurry… takes a while to get to where we’re going.” “You didn’t leave this morning… did you?” Janice asked, concern heavy in her voice, almost like she was worried about their ability to drive under such fatigue. “Oh, good gracious, no,” Mrs. Jones exclaimed, even clutching her chest and slightly shaking her head. ‘At least she seems nice…’ Ashley walked a little closer and saw the booster seat… something she was made aware of that was required by law for her to use in a Big manufactured car. “We got a hotel room last night to be nice and fresh.” “Oh,” Janice said with no small amount of audible relief. “I’m glad to hear that… your town is… how many hours away again?” “Officially… it’s only supposed to be three, but we live in a valley of sorts over there. Until they finish the tunnel next month, we have to drive up and down a mountain… takes about four hours now.” “That long?” Ashley paused and looked back at Mrs. Jones with some concern. She had memorized the area around the route the Hermes Travel Company was going to take, but not much else… or at least not to the level of detail she needed to escape successfully. Sgt. Elias had given her a crash course last year in navigating all sorts of ways, but they hadn’t yet gotten to the part of trekking over the countryside without a map yet. ‘Stupid procrastination…’ Mrs. Jones briefly looked worried. “Oh? Are you worried about going potty, sweetie?” Ashley blushed but let the insinuation stay instead of protesting it. It was mildly concerning, but not her top concern by far. “Well, if it is, don’t worry. We’ll have two stops at least, okay?” Ashley only nodded and then turned to haul herself up inside the car. As much as Bigs had the power in Libertalia these days, some Bigs, like Detective Staunton, weren’t so bad. Additionally, with Carer+ rules, a Little was able to say no to a candidate for adoption who had selected them. It had to be for a good reason, but the policy stuck. For example, the second couple she met raised all sorts of red flags when they began to ask her all sorts of questions like, ‘How well do you do with pain?’ or ‘How would you react if you lost an ability that you now currently possess… like seeing or walking?’ Gratefully, Janice saw all of it too and Ashley had been saved. For the Jones’, Ashley had actually said yes to them, and for two big reasons that she knew she couldn’t undervalue here… they seemed to both listen to her, and they both seemed to respect her. So, when she climbed up, Mrs. Jones and Janice didn’t help her buckle her in like most other Bigs would. It was small, but a small victory here could mean larger victories elsewhere. “Well… good luck then,” Janice said, smiling warmly back at the Little, her eyes still performing a quick check to ensure the booster seat was firmly in place and that Ashley wasn’t going to go anywhere. If Ashley noticed though, she didn’t say anything about it at least. “And remember… just listen to Mr. and Mrs. Jones and you’ll have a new and wonderful life ahead of you.” “Thank you, Miss Janice… for everything…” Despite a look of skepticism over her advice, Ashley showed no regret or remorse in her words this time. ‘She might have been the Big to put me in training pants… and I’m going to a whole new life forcibly, but I know Janice could have been so much worse. All totaled, I know I should at least be grateful for that…’ “You’re very welcome, sweetie.” She smiled once more and then backed away before closing the car door. Waving goodbye, Ashley and Mr. and Mrs. Jones soon followed. Not long after, they pulled out of the parking lot and away from Carer+. ‘Well… I guess there’s no turning back now…’ * * * Day 13 – 2:55 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 The backroads heading down the mountainside rattled the car all along for the past hour. Truthfully, Alice gripped the seat of her booster tightly and breathed deeply. ‘Gosh! I hope all this ends soon… Definitely glad I went to the bathroom at our last stop for lunch. If I hadn’t… well, that might have made for a really bad impression before I even got to their home…’ “Almost done, sweetie,” Mrs. Jones noted, gritting her teeth a little. “Geesh, dear…” She was now looking at Mr. Jones. “Easy on the rocks. I’m sure we all want our spines after all this.” “Sorry, sorry,” he said, looking a little regretful and frustrated. “I think with the tunnel coming into the nearby town, they haven’t done much maintenance to the road.” The car then hit a particularly nasty bump and briefly stopped him. “Besides… you know what we do here… can’t exactly be in the most convenient of locations exactly…” “Yes, I know that,” Mrs. Jones said, rolling her eyes a little as they hit another bump before leveling out a little. “Just… a smoother road is all I ask for. Considering what you do… you think they would accommodate your requests a little more here.” “You would think, but you know the budget with DT and all… if you want anything more than a paperclip, it takes forever to get… even for this place…” He momentarily paused and ran the wipers to clear some dust away from the windshield. “And anyways… once you’re down… you know all the work they’ve done with this place…” “Yes, dear,” Mrs. Jones sighed. “Just wish it was easier. That’s all…” “I know this place can be difficult but just wait until the tunnel. There’s a city almost right on the other side and I heard they even have a pretty great… oh, look!” The relief laced in his voice was obvious and Ashley immediately perked up even more than she had before when he started talking about whatever ‘DT’ was. “We’re here!” The car stopped and Ashley looked through her window, but the dust was still settling. “Where? I don’t see anything.” Mr. Jones edged forward a little more. “How about now?” It still took a minute for more of the mountain dust to clear, but soon, an oasis in the desert landscape soon became visible. The town stuck out like an emerald amongst the dirt and sand, and right in front of it, leading right into a guardhouse of sorts, was a single large sign like one would find all over the remote counties and small places of the country. Looking closer, Ashley could just make out the words: ‘Welcome to Peirama.’ Mr. and Mrs. Jones turned around in their seats and smiled warmly back at Ashley. “Welcome home, sweetie.” Ashley smiled, but if one looked closely at her eyes, they would have seen only fear and uncertainty. ‘Well, here goes nothing… a new place surrounded on all sides by mountains that no one has heard about before and being taken in by a lead scientist of some kind and his wife as they both treat me like a Little… What could go wrong?’ Despite her apprehension, whether she liked it or not, the car soon moved forward and, as Mr. and Mrs. Jones had said, to her new home.

Hey everyone! Sorry about the whole editing issue with the last chapter. Between my job and all the stuff going on in the Spring, there was just no way I could fit everything I had to do and still get the chapter out… especially when I started writing this chapter and forgot to check the time to be early enough to edit the first chapter. Not my finest moment admittedly, but it’s now been edited. Moving forward, I’m going to try and switch my schedule to write as much as I can one day and then edit during the day for the day I want to post. If there’s time, I can start writing more, but this way at least I can edit when I’m not already nodding off. Moving on, originally, this chapter was supposed to be the ending of the first chapter, but when I realized the length of the first chapter, I realized I needed to split this up. Plus, going through the whole plot of the story, I realized I needed to add more to this section anyways. With how I laid out this story, it takes a second to maneuver through some plot, but we are rapidly getting to the spot I want this story at, so no worries. As is usual lately, I am giving you all the option to vote in a poll for the next story I write. As I said in the previous chapter, this is the first DD story, so the options for the next story are mostly holdovers from the previous poll, with one extra added. Also, as a reminder, I will be posting the results of this poll within the beginning of the last chapter for this story. I will also give you all at least one reminder of this during the story and a final reminder in the penultimate, or second to last, chapter. For now, though, here are the ideas: Bethany Set as a semi-sequel to The Opening, follow former drug runner, Bethany, as she strives to find herself a better life that has been promised in the newly discovered dimension, tentatively called, ‘The Amazon Dimension…’ though, some have begun calling it another name due to the ever-increasing rumors of something awaiting all portal Littles on the other side. Join Bethany as she looks to turn her life around there and maybe even find a redemption of sorts and something else in the most unexpected of ways. Watch out though… in this new world, new and even greater dangers than the ones she left lurk around every corner. The CONtinuance As the concluding story in the CON series set in the often-dreaded Diaper Dimension, travel back to our world with Percy and his Big mommy, Samantha as they now infiltrate the convention that Percy once attended and was initially taken from. Grapple with Percy as he works feverishly to fulfill his duty to the academy while also not trying to become the monster that he once thought Samantha was. Intrigue, betrayal, conspiracy, traitors, and a plot to change the fabric of both worlds forever all unfold in this final story of this trilogy. Sissification and Babification Government Study Enter a world of government experiments gone amuck. Assigned a series of points they can spend on luxuries, follow Jack and the other candidates as they begin to discover that it pays to have more. More frugal and able to live without some items most would consider essential, journey with him as he discovers just how long he can keep his meager lifestyle up… and when temptations begin to strike. Further, and far more intriguing, find out just what he’s willing to give up, even if that means doing something drastic and… life changing. Soon, questions start to arise for our poor protagonist. How many spankings can I deal with on a daily basis? How much humiliation is too much? Are diapers so bad? Am I okay with eating better but then being forced to wear a dress? Find out the answers to these and so many more in this winding tale of acceptance of a bad situation and just how far Jack is willing to go to stay both sane and not lose himself in this process. This poll can be found here: https://strawpoll.com/7rnzVOYz3nO Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 2: You Know What They Say About the Devil and Idle Hands Day 1 – 5:35 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “And we’re moving! And we’re moving!” Miss Ripert was nothing if not a dedicated tour guide, but her almost gleeful-like avoidance of talking any further about what had just happened with Ophelia clearly was unnerving most of the rest of the tour group which now lagged behind her. Most seemed just about ready to turn and leave straight back for Earth already. “What the hell was that?” one of the shorter sandy-haired men said, alarm painted all over his face. His eyes shifted rapidly back and forth, almost like he was making sure he knew each and every exit from the current street just in case he had to suddenly flee. “I don’t know, but I don’t think I want to stay here for too much longer,” another tourist said, their spiked-up hair jittering under their frayed nerves. “But we just got here,” a mousy-like woman noted, her face pensive but her eyes full of wonder still. Most everyone had the same look before the incident with Ophelia, but now, she almost seemed out of place compared to the rest. “I mean… we all knew the rumors, right? Nothing too shocking or unexpected compared to them, you know?” Some in the group didn’t seem to appreciate the sentiment. “Well, if you’re so inclined to be happy with Bigs that can just do that to us and not face any consequences, why don’t you just go and join them?” a brutish but still dismayed man sneered at her. He almost looked like a Middle… at least until someone who was obviously a Middle passed right behind him and still towered over him by at least a foot. “No, no… I just…” The mousy woman backed off and retreated to the others of the group that seemed less afraid. Taking notice, one of the tourists, looking like he had just come from a college football tailgate party, stood in front of her. “Hey, man. Why don’t you just back off? We’re all in this together, and some of us actually want to explore around here. Besides, how are you all even going to leave?” He wasn’t the most eloquent of the group, but his words were true and revealing. As Ashley watched on, observing more than talking to anyone at this point, her wide-eyed and surprised expression exhibited much of the same feelings most others were having right then as well. ‘I never even thought about that… we came in at Niveis 1 and are moving towards the east. The next closest portal station by then would be Colorubrum 1… and even that is at least a seven-hour drive from here. Besides, would they even be able to transfer our return ticket?’ Based on the murmurs circulating around, most others seemed to be coming to the same questions about their options now. The sporty college kid stepped back up. “I say we ride this thing out. Stick close to Miss Ripert as she said and enjoy ourselves. We have a week here as well as some of the local ski resorts before we head over to Aprisium and then… I can’t remember, but then definitely head over to Prata before leaving to go back home. All in totaled, it’s just two weeks. I mean… that’s not so bad, right?” The half of the group that had already voiced their concerns didn’t seem convinced, but the other half by him and the mousy woman all nodded their heads in agreement. Ashley, though, seemed to find herself stuck near the middle of the group. ‘I want the story… but all this just feels… well, it’s a lot.’ She then winced and even faltered for a brief moment. ‘Geesh… how long is this fog and tiredness from the portal supposed to last?’ Shaking her head from the exhaustion, she turned back to the group just in time to hear the others in favor of staying trying to convince the other half of the group. “And what about adventure here? Back home is great, but here… it’s all new and exciting. I mean, did you see the fruit in the lobby. That apple was as big as my head practically!” “Food?” the sandy-haired man questioned with a great deal of judgment laced within his single word. “Really? You put food above your own safety?” Another, taller and more confident man shook his head. “No, not just food. They were just using that as an example. Just think of all the other stuff here. Museums, temples, food galore, and even some chances to go skiing two days from now…” He then turned and pointed between the massive giants of buildings. “More specifically… skiing down those.” If it wasn’t for the people in the pictures from around here that had been sent back to Earth, most of the landscape looked surprising like their counterparts back there. At first, most didn’t think too much of it, but upon further studies, most scientists realized that also meant that everything else here was double as well… including geographic features like the mountains. Reading about it last month, Mt. Everest was first on Ashley’s mind. ‘Oh woah… those things must be killers to ski down. Some experts even put their version of Mt. Everest at over 50 or even 60,000 feet! Not as high for these, but still!’ Ashley quickly put her hand to her chest and her breathing visibly quickened in excitement right as a small smile appeared on her face. “You’re all fools…” the spiked-hair man noted, his eyes drawn and unfocused on the ground before looking up at everyone else. “You think you can survive this place… but each of us were also fools to think we could be safe here. I say, we leave tonight.” “Screw that!” the college-aged man said, seemingly disgusted with that option. “Yeah… I have to agree,” the brutish man noted surprisingly, much to the clear shock of those around him. “Just think about it…” He scowled at the group around him. “Miss Ripert said to stick close to her. We leave tonight without any preparation? We’re likely to end up dead… or worse.” “Worse?” the sandy-haired man questioned. “How could anything be worse than…?” “Is there a problem here?” Miss Ripert had stopped talking and no one in this tiny feud, not even Ashley, had seen that she had stopped the tour and had now come behind them. “Is there something I need to be aware of? A safety problem maybe?” Each of the Littles, even the ones that were all for staying here, didn’t say a word. Ashley, though, didn’t want to linger any longer and knew from her past experiences at this type of moment that transparency in this case was best. “We… we were all just concerned about the thing with Ophelia… the Little. Just shocking is all.” “Oh?” Miss Ripert seemed intrigued by the notion. “Is that so?” Many of the Littles nodded their heads but remained mute overall. “I see. Well… that’s okay!” Her previous darkened and even brooding demeanor switched back to one more of warmth and gentleness. “I’m glad you told me. Helps me know to avoid some of the harsher parts of the city now. It might take a second longer to get to a few spots, but it’s also much, much safer. Does that sound okay to everyone?” “Yes… Miss Ripert,” the college-aged man said slowly, the rest of the group seemingly almost quaking in their places too much to respond as well. “Thank you…” “Oh, no problem,” she said graciously, an air about her voice of superiority but caring as well. “After all, I’m your tour guide here. Unlike others… like Diamond Tours…” she momentarily gritted her teeth at the sound of their name on her own lips, “my job is to actually get you all back safely. So, if you’re really worried about any of the other nasty Bigs, just stick by me, okay?” A series of murmurs and half nods went up amongst the group. Ashley squinted cautiously at her but nodded as well. Smiling, Miss Ripert beckoned everyone forward before taking her place in front of the rest of the group once again. “Now, with that done, as you can see on your left, our first stop… Alati Enterprises! Home of several of our most endearing products from the city, ranging with just about everything, from dresses to home electronics, and even diapers!” Ashley swallowed hard at that last one, but didn’t want to raise a fuss and quickly entered the building with everyone else. * * * Day 1 – 9:55 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley sighed as they exited yet another company headquarters, this one right across the street from their hotel where Miss Ripert was leading most of the group. It was some search engine place that she claimed was ‘the best in the world,’ but being from Earth, most of the group had never heard of it before. Unlike the four other company offices that they had visited though, at least they had served dinner. “Sweet Jesus,” the college-aged man, called Ian, noted. “I don’t think I can stand one more minute of these boring places she keeps taking us to. “At least we’re safe,” the mousy woman, Emily, stated, now seemingly leaning more toward the cautious half of the group. “Where’d your guts go, girl?” Alex asked, shaking her shoulder slightly as her longer hair flapped in the slight wind of the evening. “Come on everyone! Don’t you want to live a little at least?” Several murmured amongst the group and hesitantly watched as Miss Ripert started walking away from most of them, their shield against this world now seemingly disappearing. “But Miss Ri…” “No, no,” Alex pressed. “You all stop thinking of her and think for yourselves. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We’re in another dimension for Pete’s sake! Live a little!” Her words did little to dissuade those like Brian, the brutish man, or Syd, the spiked-hair man, away from going with Miss Ripert, but some, like Phillip, the sandy-haired man, stayed behind. For her part, Ashley looked desperately between the second split of the day with the group, and while her inner voice screamed to ‘Be safe and go with Miss Ripert!’ another part entirely was telling her ‘I came here for a story and finding one will never happen sitting in a hotel room by myself.’ So, despite the weariness in her body and her aching feet, Ashley remained with the others outside of the hotel. “Alright, excellent!” Alex practically squealed once she saw who was staying. “Where to first?” * * * Day 2 – 10:22 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 The beat of the music inside seemed like it was pulling each of the Littles in as they stumbled through the entrance of the local nightclub. Alex had begged and even bargained to go to a place like this first, but others like Phillip and Emily had just been persuasive enough to stop at a smaller bar first… just to test the waters at least. Ashley had practically gagged on the strong drink she was given, but it also gave her a barometer of how much caution she needed to use tonight in drinking further. Additionally, despite just having met these people, she also knew that keeping an eye on them would be more valuable… especially if it gained her a new story over here, or at the very least, allies if she had to run in and save them. “Keep pushing!” Alex shouted out, barely audible over the thumping of the loud beat pulsating into the floor of the establishment. Half blind but just hearing her above all that, Ashley nodded and pushed forward, taking Emily by the hand. Like a train used to keep Kindergarteners in line, each held each other’s hands and proceeded forward through the club. “Drinks are on me this round!” Ian called out once they made it to the bar. Nodding, each then downed a single shot… although to them, the shot seemed more like a double or even triple version. Needless to say, by the time they were on the dance floor, each was already exhibiting signs of being intoxicated. “You okay?” Ashley asked Emily, the small frame of a woman already swaying back and forth involuntarily under the effects of the drinks she downed tonight. Looking at her, Ashley could only sigh. ‘Probably a lightweight even on the stuff we have back home. Definitely need to keep a close eye on her tonight…’ “Wooh! Par-tay!” Alex was nearby and gyrating to the beat of the music with Ian doing the same nearby. Keeping an eye on both was Rahul… more of a silent type, but one who seemed to like to dance without imbibing any alcohol. “Come… on…” Emily said sloppily already to Ashley. “We need to… get out there… and… dance!” Her feet seemed completely uncoordinated for the task but her desire to go seemed stronger than being held back by something as small as that. “Fine, fine… just…” But Emily was already yanking her out onto the dance floor, to which Ashley could only sigh, nearly losing her new friend in the sea of people out there. Between her small size and the mix of other Littles, Middles, and Bigs, she almost vanished completely. ‘Definitely need to keep a closer eye on her… it’s going to be a long night…’ * * * Day 2 – 11:54 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Four thousand, five thousand, six thousand!” Alex shouted while Ian downed a local beer at the next club scene. Alex wanted something extreme or fast paced, while Emily requested a bar instead. Finding this place that seemed to do both equally well, everyone in the adventurous group agreed to come here next as a compromise. “Come on, Alex!” Emily cheered as well. She had slightly sobered up and was now getting into the swing of things once she came in here, but all that was largely only likely due to Ashley filling her up with water instead of more shots or beers. “You think one of them is going to pass out by the end of tonight?” Ashley questioned Rahul, the two of them now seemingly filling in as defacto chaperones for the others. At first, Rahul only shrugged his shoulders, but as Ian finished and Alex and Emily soon congratulated him as if he had just won a marathon or an Olympic event, Rahul nodded. “At this pace… yes… but we definitely need to keep an eye on them. No telling what could happen if we’re not carefu…” “Hey… that was pretty impressive back there…” Rahul and Ashley stopped talking immediately and looked over to their three fellow tourists, now confronted by an imposing but seemingly friendly Big. “Mind if I buy you all another drink in celebration?” Before Rahul or Ashley could object though, Emily quickly nodded and even clasped his arm with a big smile. “Oh, thank you so much! We would love it, right you all?” “Definitely!” Ian almost cheered. “Count me in, bug guy…” Alex said about near to seductively as she could with at least four Big-sized drinks already in her. “Maybe after… we could go someplace else?” The Big smiled and slightly bent down to look Alex better in the eyes. “I would love nothing more…” * * * Day 3 – 12:37 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 * Footage not found. * * * * Day 3 – 1:58 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Jesus, Jesus! Sweet Jesus!” Alex panted and ran away with the other in the group. “He’s right behind us!” “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Ashley cursed, dragging Emily along behind her as best she could. “Why did you leave with him away from the rest of us! He’s a Big!” “Buh’ he seemed so… nice!” Emily partially slurred, apparently slipping in several drinks throughout the night beyond Ashley’s watch. By the time she had realized what was happening, she put a stop to it immediately at the last club, but the damage was already done for the night. Looking around at the dark alleys they were now passing, Ashley groaned. “Rahul… do you know where you’re even going?” Rahul sped on ahead, or at least as much as he could while also dragging Ian along as well. Like Emily, he had slipped in several more drinks as well… the Big apparently plying Emily, Alex, and him secretly since they had met earlier. Being buzzed already, none had questioned it for a minute… until the Big got alone with Alex later. “I think we take another left up ahead!” he said, a small degree of panic setting in his voice. “I remember this building, but… they’re shutting off some of the lights now!” He then glanced down at his watch. “Shit! It’s 2 A.M.! Everything is shutting down… we need to hurry!” “Wha’s da wush?” Emily said, clearly not paying attention to her drunken words and half giggling throughout them. Ashley could only roll her eyes and pull her onward more. “I heard Bigs stroll the streets at night looking for vulnerable Littles,” he noted with the same pallor and shakiness in his voice as if he was telling a ghost story. “After 2… they find the weak… and the drunk, and pounce… the Littles never to be seen again.” The news seemed to sober Emily and Ian up… at least temporarily. Alex, however, scoffed. “Please… that’s just a rumor,” she noted, clearly unbothered, despite what had just happened to her… or at least what had been attempted to happen to her. “No!” Rahul slowed down a bit and gave her the most hardened look I had seen from him yet. Part judgement and part disbelief and anger, Alex even stopped in the back alley briefly. “He was liquoring you all up all night! He was taking out the people that were closest to you to kidnap you! Don’t you get that? If you hadn’t switched those drinks out for water in the last 30 minutes, you wou…” “But I did!” Alex defended. “And we got away, didn’t we?” Rahul angry glare softened for a moment. “Yeah! That’s what I thought. So, quit your complaining and let’s just get back!” Grumbling a little, Rahul turned back to finding the hotel. Finally coming into view, everyone let out a sigh of relief. “Come on, Em’. We need to get inside before anything else goes wrong tonight. I don’t even want to think of what would happen if you all were caught by the police tonight or if Rahul and I weren’t with you all.” Pausing for Rahul to take his keycard out, the rest of the group stopped, and Emily was finally able to more or less stand up straight. Smiling at Ashley, she patted her on the cheek. “You wowwy too much, Ash… Can I caww you Ash?” She giggled briefly. “Tanks for aww you did toni… tonigh’.” She giggled again, smiled, and then fell right into Ashley’s arms. * * * Day 2 – 1:24 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 * Footage not found. * * * * Day 3 – 8:32 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley paced around her hotel room and occasionally pushed one of her fingers back like she was counting something in sync with her barely audible mutterings under her breath. She then stopped and went over to the mirror in the bathroom. “Okay… figured I would at least say this out loud. I think maybe I need to hear it audibly with how ridiculous it sounds… but here it goes.” She winced briefly. “I think I want to leave the tour group…” The pain and trepidation on her face was immediately apparent. “Yeah, yeah… I know what any future viewers of this recording are thinking… after the other night, between Ophelia and that one Big at the bar, why would I want to leave?” She then paced around the hotel room a little more before stopping at the mirror once more. “Well… it’s simple really… at least from a journalist’s perspective.” She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a tag that was clearly marked ‘Ski Lift.’ Yesterday and today, we went exploring the more outdoorsy aspects of this area. Beautiful… striking… I think I nearly teared up at the top of the ski lift, but… no story there.” She grimaced and paced again. “It’s just that… well, I feel I’m getting the shiny tour… like the one a factory inspector would get on inspection day where everyone knows it’s coming. It’s all bright and shiny and compliant, and the factory will pass… but it’s not the full truth of daily operations. Same with the tour.” She looked in pain again almost like she had already punched herself for such a stupid idea in the first place. “Don’t get me wrong… it’s great and all, but… it’s sterile… at least for a journalist like me. There’s no story there. No danger… no intrigue beyond what a travel writer would document… and like it or not, I’m not one of them. Maybe that will be the next piece, and if so, sign me up. I’m hearing all kinds of wonders of this world… like the continent of Atlantica just off the coast of Florida. The place is made from the remnants of Atlantis that actually survived the sinking in this world… complete with some of the best technology here, a paradise for Littles, and beaches and museums for miles around. Sounds amazing… but as far as a story… it would be more of a puff piece… unless someone got really unlucky… great, but not my thing.” She sighed. “So… I’m left to my own devices here, and the other night… dangerous… too close for comfort being only seconds away from Alex being lost to us completely. But… it was brilliant!” There was a tiny flicker of excitement in her eyes. “It’s the type of story you tell your friends or a hot date when you’re trying to impress them. It has the angles I want and the intrigue I need. And, simply put, that’s the story I’m looking for… but…” She grimaced once again and batted the ski lift ticket around for a second. “I just… I don’t think I’m confident enough to leave on my own… yet. Going to a temple tomorrow… maybe something will be there I can write about, but if not then I…” * * * Day 4 – 10:15 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 Shining opalescence seemingly stretching higher and all the way to the heavens. Steel glinted, glass reflected the world back seamlessly and endlessly back at itself, and the stone around the façade of the temple practically sparkled under the bright June day. Back home, such places of worship were once used to hide from the horrors of the outside world during the ‘dark times,’ but didn’t always withstand the onslaught of bombs, gangs, and just the slow decay of time without further funds to repair them. As such, Ashley and many of the others on the tour gawked in wonder up at the temple before them. “As you can see, the founders built this place to last but also to inspire countless generations of a spiritual connection here in our city. Inside, millions have worshipped and billions across the world have listened to the famous chorus housed here throughout the year.” Miss Ripert continued to explain all about the temple, and Ashley was enthralled completely by its beauty, but her eyes soon began to shift elsewhere once inside. It was no less impressive, the organ towering far over each of their heads and the ceiling perched even higher but inside was also a place where thousands congregated every day. When services weren’t being held, the population of the city gathered inside for all sorts of purposes. Tourism and religious vows or pilgrimages were the peak reasons to visit, but others lingered for their own purposes as well. “Money for the needy,” a sweet old lady chimed from the side, her dark blue dress plain but striking against the stonework behind her. “Littles need care too. Reach out into your hearts and help those in need.” Having traveled all over Earth and seen the desperate and needy by the thousands, Ashley instantly recognized a charity in need when she saw it. For her though, her experience with charities tended to focus on those most in need, like starving kids in the center continents, or the remaining war orphans from places that had only just stopped fighting in recent years. With the influx of the Bigs technology, many of those problems were vanishing, but they hadn’t altogether disappeared. What intrigued Ashley about this particular charity though, was that here at least, it seemed that Littles in general were those that were now in search of a miracle. Other places targeted groups in other countries or at different poverty levels maybe, but here… it just seemed to focus on the entirety of the Little population. Here, they needed charity. They needed help. They needed the money of others to survive. Seeing that, as soon as Miss Ripert was done giving her tour guide speech, she leapt into action to ask her directly as the others began to wander around and tour the building on their own within the designated spots for tourists. Near the altar, there was even a line. “Miss Ripert! Miss Ripert!” Ashley momentarily cringed. ‘Gosh! Why does that have to sound so childish when I say it?’ Miss Ripert turned to face the Little approaching her, who was now pointing over to the pushed-aside table where two old ladies were seated. “Who are they?” Miss Ripert turned briefly toward the gestured group to the left inside the temple. Currently, they were talking with a few tourists that seemed to be ready and willing to offer money to their cause. “Oh. That’s just Carer+, Ashley.” Ashley’s slightly perturbed look indicated she didn’t like the familiarness from her, but without any objection outwardly, Miss Ripert proceeded normally. “They take in lost Littles and find loving homes for them. Unlike some of the others, they tend to be a little more selective on who is allowed to adopt a Little and have even been shown to treat Littles with more respect and equality than most others these days. Definitely one of the better organizations out there regarding Littles.” Miss Ripert then paused and looked at Ashley closely, almost like she was studying a curious or unique specimen of an insect beneath her. “Is there a reason you’re asking, hon?” She paused and from all outward appearances, one could almost hear the metaphorical gears clicking her head over what she was witnessing right then. “Are you asking because maybe you’re intere…?” “No! No! Definitely not!” Several of the other tourists in the temple wheeled around and faced the Little and Big from Ashley’s small outburst… one that seemingly endlessly echo off the walls of the temple. Sensing her mistake and everyone’s on them now, Ashley blushed a little and then quickly walked over to be closer to Miss Ripert, who also seemed to take notice of the Little’s movements and embarrassment and lowered herself closer to the ground to hear her out. “I mean… definitely not, Miss Ripert,” she said with a renewed hushed but forceful tone. “I was just curious. They seemed different than most of the others here. Nothing more.” “Very well…” Miss Ripert smiled and stood back up fully, now towering over Ashley once more. “Now… is there anything else you need?” Ashlye looked over at the Carer+ table, highlighted with pictures of desperate Littles. She almost looked like she was going to say something but ultimately shook her head. “No… no thank you…” Miss Ripert was about to reply when Ashley quickly pivoted away. ‘I do have several questions, but Miss Ripert… I just don’t think she’s going to the person to ask about it.’ Her eyes focused briefly on a few of the images… particularly of those with Littles wearing juvenile clothing and diapers. If they were children, she might not have thought anything of it back on Earth in truth, but her eyes couldn’t get over some of the very… mature curves on some of the Littles. ‘Wait… are those scar lines at a few of their joints?’ * * * Day 4 – 3:12 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 * Footage not found. * * * * Day 5 – 8:55 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley waved at the mirror like she had done back on Earth. Her clothing was different once again, and a nice tan looked like it was starting to set in. “Hey… I guess, future me?” She shrugged. “Not sure about that one for the future recordings on this thing, but I needed to come here to say something… at least for the record if nowhere else…” Ashley then winced and sighed before looking back into the mirror. “I think I want to leave the tour group.” The words alone seemed painful, but Ashley still pushed through. “Just temporarily at least. I just… I need something more for this trip other than another ski slope or pretty building or intriguing new company with technology that could revolutionize Earth back home.” She then walked over and looked down at her dresser, now littered with souvenirs from several spots that any local could recognize as a tourist hotspot. “I’ve traveled a lot and done so much… like this one here.” She then picked up a magnet that showed a large building of sorts and printed with the words ‘Alati Lake Power Plant.’ “Truly a marvel of engineering. This one power station could probably power the entire state of our own Utah back on Earth. If some of the tech companies in the area weren’t pulling so much power, the plant could serve at least a 1000-mile radius outward… but instead, they have four more in the northern part of the state alone. And what’s even more mind-boggling to me is that this technology isn’t even considered advanced here. I just…” The excitement was visible on her face, but it was soon replaced by one of overcast and resignation as she set the magnet back down. “It’s a great piece for the magazine… but for someone else at Times Reporting… not me. I need something more… bitey… dangerous…” She then walked over to the large window looking out over the city. “Even if that’s a risk… I feel I need to take it.” Her eyes then shot downward to the darkened alley that the window partially overlooked below. “When I first started, I investigated a small but widespread drug ring. No other journalist could figure it out… until I walked into some dark alleyways. Risky? Yes, but it was worth it in the end. It sealed my job with Mr. Swarthout, and within a year, I was one of the headliner investigative journalists. It was my big break, and I think…” She sighed and focused more on the darker parts of her view instead of the glitzy and impressive top-side and outer facades of the rest of the city. “I think I need to go deeper… get dirty… risk it all, but… find the truth in the end.” * * * Day 5 – 4:55 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley tiptoed through one of the darkened alleys that she had been traipsing around all day. The tour group got some excuse of her being sick, and while Ashley had felt some degree of guilt, now, she seemed more intrigued than anything. “Okay,” she whispered to herself, “I know this thing can pick up my voice at the very least right now. Not sure if other cameras or whatever can see me, but I’ve been following rumors all day.” Ashley briefly stepped into the light, and instead of her ‘costume’ of more sporty clothes, or her old ones of rugged but practical elegance, these seemed more casual and grungier. “I’ve been trying to look for a fix all day like a junkie… slow progress, but I finally heard something called FOY. No idea what it is… but it sounds dangerous… definitely a drug of some kind.” Her eyes then lit up with intrigue and even a little hope. “Sounds a like a story to me…” Ashley then peered around the corner, and three individuals could be made out. One was a Middle while the other two were Bigs. “Trade you for the FOY…” the Big said desperately. “Need it for my Little and they can’t suspect…” Ashley clutched her chest. ‘Okay… here we go… just breathe, Ash. Don’t think… just go…’ Ashley breathed in once more and then peeled herself away from the brick corner and toward the dealer. * * * Day 6 – 9:42 A.M. MDT – Earth 2 “Okay… I can do this… I can do this…” Ashley looked into the mirror of her hotel room, once again dressed in her more casual clothing. The few crumbs leftover from breakfast that morning still clung to her clothing as well. “Okay… you told the group you wanted to go solo today since it was the last day here in Alati Lake City. I’m sure Aprisium is something special… but I need to do this.” She then looked down at the vanity area and to the tiny vial nearby. It was FOY, and she had gotten a ‘sample’ last night from the dealer. He almost seemed enthusiastic about giving it to her and even volunteered her to get a piece of the cut tonight if she came back, took a small dose of the drug, and helped him sell the product to others. For Ashley, trying to find her story, it felt like too good an opportunity to pass up. Of course, coming back last night, she had started sweating profusely when she had pocketed the drug and walked past her tour group, Miss Ripert, and hotel security, but she had made it back in time to look up the drug extensively online. Once she was able to find out that it at least wasn’t illegal, she tried a tiny dose. It made her feel… funny. Not queasy, but… goofy. She marked it right away as a narcotic and knew that she had to find out more. “Just think… Little busts open the myth of this dimension…” she said in awe, her eyes nearly twinkling as they seemed to already be picturing the headlines of her story when she returned home. “A dimension shown for what it truly is. Could even be a yearly piece for the paper to show all the dangers here. It could last decades from what I’ve seen at this point.” She then glanced back at the vial and picked it up. “But first… a FOY deal tonight.” * * * Day 6 – 7:42 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 ‘Okay… not going exactly to plan… feel funny… goofy… happy, but… I’m here…’ The Middle drug dealer of the FOY drug stood by her side in the alleyway. Apparently, a big scorer was coming tonight and Ashley needed to be perfect. The Big had even tousled up her hair briefly and then got her to tie it into pigtails. It seemed so strange, but Ashley oddly didn’t mind. Part of it felt like an obligation to get her story, but part of it… felt like the FOY. ‘Maybe it’s like alcohol where it lowers your inhibitions? ‘Cause… whew! I kinda don’t care…’ “Okay, look alive, Little,” the dealer said, straightening out his shirt and trying to stand as tall as possible, his Middle ego seemingly fragile in the face of a potential Big client. Standing a few inches behind him, Ashley clearly had to place a hand over her mouth to stop from giggling. There was a little fear in her eyes, but she remained still as three Bigs approached. * * * Day 6 – 7:54 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 “We said three vials… not two,” one of the Bigs said angrily, her fierce eyes popping out from her mass of curled hair. “Why you tryin’ to piss us off, Meisner?” The Middle quickly shook his head. “No, no. Several apologies.” His fingers trembled under the weight of his bag as he fumbled through it. “Just a miscount. You know Middles!” He then whacked himself on the head. “Doy, doy, right?” Again, Ashley kept smiling, but was also clearly bursting at the proverbial seams trying to hold her laughter in. She was the lowest of the social hierarchy represented here tonight in the alley being a Little, so whenever a Middle or Big did something foolish, her inner glee always lit up. Maybe due to the FOY she had ingested though, tonight, she seemed to be having a tough time holding anything back. The second Big grumbled and snatched the third vial away from the dealer, Meisner, as soon as it was free from his bag. Holding the vial up to the buzzing dim yellowish light overhead, the liquid inside almost seemed to glow. “Hmmm…” “Well?” the third Big questioned, seemingly impatient. “We good, Marcus? Good sample of FOY for us?” Marcus lowered the vial and turned before nodding. “Good…” The atmosphere seemed to freeze. If it had been raining, water droplets would have felt like they were hovering midair. Breaths being let out in the strangely colder June weather looked like they had halted. Maybe it was the FOY, but Ashley’s eyes became fearful in a moment… almost like part of her body knew that something was wrong before it even happened. “Alati Lake City Police!” the third Big shouted, pulling a badge and a gun out, now pointed precisely at Meisner. “You are under arrest for selling drugs to minors, distributing a controlled substance without a permit, and violating your parole with a concealed carry.” Meanwhile, Marcus and the woman followed suit, and so now three guns and badges faced back at Meisner. Groaning, and likely dreading the charges, he seemed to try to find a way out. Being an alleyway though, police sirens now flashed from both ends and a chain-link fence blocked the only open-air area within sight. Snarling at the three, he flinched towards them, which only prompted the third Big to jiggle their gun threateningly as the other two took a step closer. Likely seeing no alternative, Meisner raised his hands in defeat. ‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Ashley panicked and she knew that FOY was legal, but she was a Little and there was always some technicality that could be used against her as a Little. Being a Little in the situation though, was bad legally speaking, but also likely not thought of as a threat. Looking around at the one Middle and three surrounding Bigs, it became very obvious that no one was paying attention to her right then. So, freaking out about as much as she could, her eyes darted all around for a way out. ‘There’s no way I’m getting mixed up in this… just need to find a way out of here…’ Maybe hoping beyond reality, her eyes still scanned for any way out. With limited options though, only one way presented itself… a small opening in the base of the chain-link fence. Not wasting a second and with no one directly watching her, that option was practically a miracle alone. So, with a tiny sigh, Ashley stuck to the shadows and backed up right toward the hole. Crouching down, it was just big enough for her to get through. ‘Oh shit! What the hell do I do now?’ She had been in tight spots before, but her face reflected a fear of the combination of seemingly every nasty thing she had ever heard about Littles and this dimension. She only had one option and even that… “Wait… where did the Little go?” Marcus, if that even really was his name, questioned. “Shit!” the leader cursed. “Fan out! Find her!” Hearing it all, Ashley knew she had to run. Thinking could come later. Gratefully, the past few days of Miss Ripert’s tours of the city paid off in full as she could find her way around the back alleys using the lights in the distance as markers for where she was. It was still difficult, but she was making her way through and away from the police now surrounding the area where she had been and where Meisner had gotten pinched. Unfortunately, looking ahead, cops had started swarming the whole area. Approaching and blocking off the alleyway from both the north and south points, the cops had now flooded most of the surrounding blocks as well… which meant that escape back to the hotel was near impossible. ‘Crud! What do I do? What do I…?’ “Hey! I think I heard someone back here!” a cop shouted from the main road, now shining his flashlight back to where Ashley had stopped. ‘Shit! I gotta…! * * * Day 6 – 8:58 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Ashley panted and ducked quickly under what looked like a storm drain under a particular section of road. To the near distance, trees, bushes, and flowers dotted the landscape of the local memorial park. Dodging the police for over an hour now, Ashley panted hard, but panic was also etched all over her face. Alati Lake City was only so big, and the police were surrounding several other spots… cutting off the hotel almost completely. Still, having taken a second to think a few minutes ago, she knew of one last spot she could exploit. Now, she was poised and ready to go. ‘At least I have my hotel key and fake ID with me… didn’t want to bring the rest though… that could have been really bad if I was caught.’ It was a risk to go without her passport or other things of sorts, but they were easily worth triple their weight in gold for a reason. Lose those and a Little was stuck here. After all, Bigs didn’t want to run the risk of a Little of their own world simply slipping through and making their way over to Earth. It was a concession of the dimensional treaty and one that the Bigs had insisted on above nearly all others. Ashley sighed and tried to peak out over the roadway while also trying not to get her clothing dirty. She had ditched her sweatshirt and redone her hair… just in case she happened to be caught. A Little caught was bad, but a Little caught that had been selling FOY on the streets… even if the drug was legal, was so much worse. Reading past testimonies, she knew of five charges that she could be popped with already. Looking out at the park, the coast seemed clear, so Ashley took her first steps. ‘Okay… just go nice and easy. Don’t panic and just keep walking. I stay this way and use my hotel key; I can slip in the back. If anyone asks… I can always run to the tour group. It should be early enough that at least a couple should be in the lobby. But I have to get there first…’ Making her way through the park, the tall spires of her hotel could just be made out. Sires flashed in the distance, but most seemed to be staying toward the east. One or two to the west, but being a city, they might not have even been involved. ‘Or… at least that’s what I’m hoping…’ A twig then loudly snapped behind her. Seconds later, Ashley could hear the thudding footsteps approaching her quickly from behind. She closed her eyes briefly and kept walking. ‘Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it was just a squirrel. Maybe it was just a falling dead branch, and I’m scare over nothin…’ “Alati Lake City Police! Hands in the air and don’t move!” Ashley shot her hands up into the air and then froze at the sound of the police officer’s instruction. “Good girl. Now, turn around… slowly!” Ashley nodded and began to turn around, a look of regret showing all over her expression. ’Breathe, Ash. Don’t panic… it will be okay…’ But anyone looking into her eyes would have seen the uncertainty of that glaring right back at them.

Thank you. This was one of the edits I did this morning.

Warning As with my previous stories, this one contains several elements inherent to the pre-established 'Diaper Dimension.' These include, but are not limited to: Diapers and their usage for their intended purpose Breastfeeding Non-consensual mental regression through various means (Including possible drugs, hypnosis, and/or surgery) References to surgery to achieve various nefarious goals Humiliation Giants, aka, Amazons or Bigs Predominantly female domination (some male) Babying of adults (perceived or otherwise) Experimentation on humans Kidnapping Coerced or manipulated actions through possible means of white lies, gas lighting, or incentives Mild language or use of explitives Depictions of death, illness, or handicaps Graphic imagery associated with any of these warnings This story has not been labeled as mature, due to a lack of specific references to anything overtly sexual, but this warning serves as a 'turn back' point for any readers who do not wish to read about the previous warnings. Lastly, this list is subject to change during the course of writing this story. While most of the plot is ironed out, more warnings may be added if needed. Hey everyone! Welcome back and I hope everyone had as good of a break as I did! Work was stressful, but it’s always nice to get away for a little bit from trying to meet my own personal deadlines, especially after such a large project as my last two stories were with all the completely new world-building and whatnot. Now, though, it’s just as equally good to be back and writing stories again. That being said, this story has definitely grown over the past two weeks from my original plan. Initially, I fleshed this thing out to be around ten chapters, but soon realized it needed more on my first pass. Seeing a lot was missing from the plot for the type of story I wanted to tell though, the chapter count now stands at 24, but checking out a few later, I can absolutely say that there might be more. As I promised before, since these stories are based on previous works of mine, I will try to include all the stories that might need to be read before this one. As it is a sequel, the primary previous story would be Project Nurture, as several of the characters from there will be mentioned and parts of this story will also align with that one. I would also suggest for more background that The Opening would be helpful as well, as it discusses when the portals first opened and gives some background on the two worlds in general. Lastly, looking at the map of Libertalia (in the Reference Guide) or the DD Timeline might be useful. As I try to do for each of these stories in the DD though, I will try to write most of this where reading them is not required, but as a warning, further details and some plot elements may not be discussed. Next, as is typical these days, I will post the next poll at the start of the following chapter. Since this is only the first DD story, my rule of two won’t apply yet, so I’m thinking I will include two DD and one non-DD story this go-round. So, be on the lookout for that. Also, looking ahead, I’m absolutely tasking myself with writing/editing three chapters a week. That being said, with 24 current chapters and at three a week, this will definitively bump into late May/early June, which means that I will be pausing at least at one point for a multi-day vacation. Considering it’s Florida and I always come back with at least three new story ideas, take comfort in the delay at least for future stories from me. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this first chapter of my next story! Chapter 1: Hello. Name’s Ashley Cutters, Journalist It’s a small, unassuming house, but within lay so much more, particularly with a fringe member of LRG being tasked to look up the dirty laundry of the government here in Libertalia. Considering all the security measures in place and all the others that had ‘gone missing’ over the years from the organization, Vincent didn’t want to take a chance this time. “Alright… let’s see what we’ve got on the menu tonight…” Vincent was practically licking his lips in anticipation of what he could find in his search of the dark web tonight. “Join the Littles Revolution Group they said… Challenge yourself and change the world!” Vincent couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little at that tagline that had so easily ensnared his wide-eyed and younger and more hopeful self. LRG was a smaller group back then… more manageable and under the radar. Hacking to get free music initially, Victor had stumbled into the law a few times but always managed to get away. After his Little friend got kidnapped though, Victor had turned his attention to LRG and signed up to help after only a week of seeing what they were trying to accomplish. With his skills, incidents like the initial opening of the portals between worlds and the opening of Dark Cliff Prison were almost commonplace stories amongst the more rebellious Little population of Libertalia now. Being a Middle himself meant he was more or less immune from most of the horrors that came with being a Little in this world, but he saw a need and tried to fulfill it for others that definitely couldn’t. Little did he know that path of righteousness and good intentions would lead him here… somewhere in the backwoods of the state of Virgan. It had been a year since he last went to the movies… six months since a bar, and three weeks since even the dinky grocery store just off the main road from here to Columbia. Another LRG got him groceries now… especially after he found some piece about some new drug called ‘FOY’ and was almost immediately flagged and shut down by the Feds. Ever since, he had lived in a state of paranoia… hence the practically ghost cabin set in the middle of nowhere as his main base of operations now. Still, Vincent sighed and tried to think of all this as a game. It had worked in the past when these hacking sessions went into tedious or potentially dangerous places. The FOY thing was great and all no doubt, but… this wasn’t living. He needed something… anything to break up his routine. Maybe he would talk to Carlos the next time he stopped by for a food run about taking a vacation… maybe. Grumbling a little, Vincent shook his head and returned to the monitor as he finished off the last of his cheesy puffs. “Now… what do you have for me tonight?” His thick sausage-like fingers clacked on the keyboard with a rapid regularity that indicated years of practice at this sort of thing. As such, minutes later, Vincent had opened one of the deep web chatrooms like he was simply passing from one room to another. “Let’s see… anything to help LRG pass those restraint laws… equality and all? Anything at all tonight?” Vincent’s eyes strained against the bright screen, but an hour later, despite his impressive and extensive skills, he was still no closer to something definitive to send back. It was just that way sometimes. Yes, there were scores of plans and threats on there, but nothing with substance that could either be classified as reportable or even actionable. Just a bunch of hot air and… “Oh?” Vincent noted with some surprise, leaning in from his wide chair to get a better look at what he was seeing. “What’s this?” The posting was very strange to the point where Vincent even ran a check on it to make sure it was clean and wouldn’t upload a virus or crash his system. He had learned that the hard way back as a junior in high school. Looking more closely, something snagged his attention right away. “Holorecording’s, huh?” Vincent checked the file at least three times just to be sure he was reading it right, but it was confirmed and that piqued his curiosity more than any tagline associated. Vincent knew full-well that Holorecording’s were all the rage years ago, especially when agents of the old academy used to travel to Earth and pluck humans away for testing purposes before the dawn of portal travel and when they exploited soft spots instead. Seeing the ‘.vid.e’ label though, Vincent could already tell that it was the enhanced version instead of the original 2D video like any other old-fashioned video recording. In this case, enhanced meant 3D recordings and possibly sensation feedback and even mental thoughts if he was lucky. Not wanting to turn away now, Vincent clicked into the posting further. A brief description at the title of the page noted something about the files being ‘vital’ and ‘critical to understand.’ Vincent had his doubts about that, especially since 90% of the other posts said that, but he shrugged and kept at it… curious if nothing else over the holorecording file contained within. “Hmmm… seems intriguing enough…” Getting to the main page of the file and knowing what was next, Vincent got up and went to the backroom of the cabin where he stored most of the excess electronics and equipment associated. Looking around, he finally found the box he was looking for, a good layer of dust covering it that had to be blown away first. “Ah. Gotcha! Almost got rid of you last month to store an extra supply of rum in here. Good thing I decided I didn’t need more alcohol here… I guess.” Continuing to dust the box off, Vicent made his way back to the computer before sitting down again and then popping the lid off. Peering inside, he could see the headgear, visor, and even the contacts for one’s temple. “Looks okay… hard to tell really until I actually just go ahead and test this thing out.” Vincent blew a little more dust off and then gently placed the device over his head. Wincing a little at first, he made quick work of the device to relieve the tighter pressure and expand the halo section until it fit his head more comfortably. Taking the attached cord, he blew on it lightly and then hooked the device in. Soon, the screen before him blinked, and Vincent completed the preliminary set up as the newly clicked holorecording files were downloaded onto his server. Applying a little petroleum jelly to the contact points at his temple, he took a breath and looked over the various warnings on the box. “Warning… excessive use can lead to seizure, brain hemorrhage, and even death. Do not use with potentially corrupted files and do not use while alone.” Looking around the empty room, Vincent shrugged his shoulders. “Oh well… can’t stop all the time just because I’m a one-man team up here.” As he clicked on the final steps for downloading the files, Vincent felt a little fear over using this old technology once more. There was a reason for the warnings… why the technology had been dropped in favor of other more recent models here in Libertalia. Newer methods were safer… more legal. Looking around at half the equipment in here used just for pirating signals and hacking into government servers, it might have been an odd fear, but holorecording’s tended to brute-force their way into local servers rather than ask permission at all. It gave the recordings a true 3D experience to the viewer later, but the legality was sketchy at best in court cases, so the technology had largely been dropped in favor of more… legal ways. So, to see it so plainly on here for that fact alone was curious if nothing else. Vincent didn’t want to hope, but there were only so many who used this technology in the past few years… and they were either illegal, which could mean some great dirt on something out there that could hurt the Bigs, or they were less poised with technology, which could mean they were more desperate and likely more interesting. Either way, it boded well for Vincent’s mission and ultimately, LRG. Clicking onto the first recording once it had downloaded, the first screen showed the typical warnings yet again about using this technology, which Vincent promptly clicked through rapidly, understanding the risks… and quickly ignoring them. Next, and most curious, before the instructions, there was a brief blurb about what he was about to watch. It was something about someone named Ashley and this footage found from her imbedded camera. Most fascinating though, although maybe a little worrying or disappointing, it noted that ‘some pieces are missing’ from the recording and it is ‘unknown if they had been deleted by the user’ or were simply ‘too corrupted.’ Either way, Vincent pressed on with curiosity like that of a child potentially finding buried treasure in their backyard. The screen cut away, and then another popped up. “Place device on head now.” Vincent did as he was instructed, and as he remembered from the last time that he used this thing over six years ago now, the visor remained clear so he could see the screen and the next instructions. “Press here to proceed.” A decently sized green button then appeared below. Vincent hovered his mouse over the button, took a deep breath, and pressed it before relaxing back in his chair. * * * Black. Nothing. The screen was just a myriad of inky blackness, punctuated occasionally by a little blip or static on the screen. “Ah, shit!” a male voice called out from the abyss, remaining faceless in the darkened void. “Oh, perfect, Stuart!” a female voice said with a sigh and no small amount of clear frustration. “Just what this footage needs… cursing right from the start! This could be the beginning of some very serious report one day, you know.” “Sorry…” presumably Stuart apologized, grunting a little like he was trying to adjust something. Briefly the edges of the void curled in and flicked with static and a few green, blue, yellow, and red dots… and then pure nothingness once again. “Ugh! I just realized that the audio and video were off before. Now, it’s just the video and I’m…” He grunted again. “Trying to adjust that.” “Well, can you fix it?” the female voice asked, sighing heavily again and now sounding more than a little impatient as well. “This whole plan isn’t going to go very well if this stupid thing doesn’t even wor…!” * * * Day 0 – 12:30 P.M. EDT – Earth The screen cut back, and a white border, like from one of the old video systems, popped on as a frame around the main picture, which wasn’t much more than a computer lab somewhere, punctuated in several spots by at least ten twenty-foot-long sections of three-inch-thick wires. Multiple spots were frayed and pulled apart, while other sections were fully intact. One desk was cluttered with all sorts of odd metallic objects and scraps of wiring, while the other desk appeared to contain some sort of toolset and even a medical diagram of the head and an eyeball… though with something dark right behind the iris in this case. “Okay… that should do it…” a pale and scrawny figure noted, possibly Stuart, now coming into the frame. Unsettlingly in some way, he was looking directly at the camera with a calculating and curious expression. Before becoming too awkward though, he then briefly looked away and back to another monitor just off screen. “Okay… single feed up and running. Blink once for me, will you, Ashley?” The feed momentarily went black before snapping back to its previous image. “Like that, Stuart?” the female voice, presumably Ashley, questioned. This time, instead of one of annoyance, it sounded more hopeful. “Yep. That’s good, Ashley.” Stuart then hopped back and briefly went out of frame behind the monitor on the more crowded desk, and the sounds of clicks and clacks could be heard like he was typing something in. “Okay… now blink three times in succession. This might feel a little weird after, but we need this thing to reach out to other sources if you want more than a single shot from your eye. No point in this level of technology if we can’t get all the angles… just in case.” The feed temporarily dipped down and back up, almost as if Ashley was nodding while holding a camera. Then, the feed blipped out in three short bursts. Suddenly, the feed switched, and the previous single view of the camera now showed something more akin to a 3D image panning around the room. One watching from the outside would have likely felt the sensation that they could touch everything, rather than as if they were just watching a movie. The view shifted more, and more of the room could be seen. Nearby, lying down on an exam chair of sorts, like one would find in any dentist’s office, was a tall and skinny blonde woman, her blouse and slacks contrasting heavily was the disposable bib around her neck. “You good, Ashley? Still with me?” Stuart asked, pressing in on the blonde woman. “Yeah…” Her voice shook a little and her answer was anything but confident. “Just a little… dizzy, I guess?” She patted her eye tenuously and then quickly looked back at her fingers, almost like she was expecting something to be left there. “At least the bleeding’s gone now.” Stuart nodded. “Yeah. Not going to lie… you looked a little grizzly earlier when I was trying to adjust the feed. It looks like the micro surgeons did a great job though. No scarring from what I can see… which is impressive, because… you know… there’s…” He didn’t seem to be able to finish that thought and gestured with his hands awkwardly. His social skills didn’t seem to be one of his strengths, but Ashley only smiled back. “Because there’s a camera embedded in my eye now?” Stuart nodded and she laughed a little. “Yeah… feels strange to say, but you know the Amazon’s technology. It’s decades at least ahead of our own… even now with everything they’ve been trading to us and all the advances we’ve made since the opening of the portals.” “Yeah… this whole place… building and city too… run off what they’ve given us.” Stuart then rolled back to his monitor. Then, without looking back, he cleared his throat. “But also… Bigs.” Ashely looked at him strangely for a moment. “What?” “Bigs…” Stuart noted again. “You called them Amazons. They’re called Bigs. ‘Amazon’ is almost a derogatory word… especially coming from a Little.” “Oh… I completely forgot about that.” Ashley seemed momentarily stunned and nervous for a moment. “Hey… no big deal here, right?” Stuart leaned back over and looked at Ashley with reassuring eyes. “Just… keep it in mind when you’re going over there.” Ashley frowned and then suddenly looked defensive. “What? I’m not… I…” “Fine, fine,” Stuart said, retreating a little bit back to his monitor. “Don’t tell me about your plans with the tech I just helped set up, but I’m just trying to help. Don’t want a smacked bottom two seconds into your trip over there, do you?” Ashley grimaced a little and then looked slightly embarrassed. “Oh… yeah. Sorry, Stuart. Just… you know how these things go, right? Mr. Swarthout wants doubly sure that all this stays under the radar… at least until publishing. You know how he gets.” Stuart nodded. “Right. I mean, you are talking to the person who sets all this undercover stuff up in the first place for the magazine. Heck, discretion might as well be my middle name these days.” Ashley smiled and Stuart went back to clicking all over his monitor. “Okay… now, let’s check out the feeds. Turn your head up and down and side to side.” Ashley did, but the view didn’t change, and instead still seemed like a 3D experience and not being stuck in one spot. “Good. The feed didn’t change intensity or direction when you did that.” He clicked a few more times. “Now, blink.” Ashley nodded, but this time, the feed popped off and went back to completely blackness whenever she did so. “Oops. Need to… adjust… that… okay, now try again.” Ashley nodded again and blinked, but this time, the feed didn’t black out. “Phew! That could have been bad. Need to make sure you still have a view even if your eyes are closed… or blindfolded.” Ashley only nodded, a small amount of fear seemingly lingering in her eyes over why that would be a top priority that was needed. “Alright… lastly, let’s see if this other feed works… the mental one, I mean. 50-50 shot of this thing even functioning, but… let’s give it a go, shall we?” “Uh, do I need to do something?” Ashley looked around and she blinked a few times and even resorted to snapping her fingers, but nothing appeared to be working. “Hmmm….” Stuart looked closer at his monitor and clicked in a few places. “Let’s try it this way. I’ve increased the number of input feeds. Might feel a little funny, and we might still only capture some of your thoughts, but something would be better than nothing, you know?” Ashley nodded and her face soon relaxed. ‘I hope this works…’ Stuart’s eyes lit up. “Aha!” He seemed near ecstatic over what he was seeing on his screen. “Did you just think ‘I hope this works’ just now?” “Oh shit…” Ashley seemed petrified for a moment that all her thoughts were going to be recorded now, but it was soon supplemented by a look of fascination as well. “Intrusive suckers, those Bigs, huh?” “Maybe… no, definitely if even half the rumors are correct.” Stuart then wheeled away from his desk and came over to Ashley to start getting her ready to leave. “But just think about all those times where you couldn’t speak, and a recording of your thoughts might have helped. I remember you didn’t seem too pleased from that one assignment you had in the Middle East where you had to recall all that stuff for your article weeks after it had occurred.” Ashley nodded, seemingly appreciative of the technology more than worried by it. “You always bring up that assignment, Stuart. I’m still not forgetting how skeptical you were of me when I volunteered for that one.” “Alright, alright,” he said, defensively holding up his hands as he backed off. “I was wrong back then, and you proved to everyone of your skills as an investigative journalist. Just don’t go mucking everything up with this one just because you’re part-cyborg now or whatever. This tech is just a recording device… not a bail out.” Ashley sat up on the chair and waved his concern off. “I know that. Just tell me this… how does thing store data or how do I get it back to you all? Do I needed to do something further?” Stuart nodded and flipped one of screens back to her which soon switched from an MRI scan of her head to one of a process diagram. “Simple really… it has a memory of 400 TBs, but with our modification, it also will attempt to reach out and link to any satellites in the area and send back the feed to a safehouse. Then, if everything goes right, about one to two times a month, they’ll come back here and show us the footage.” ‘If everything goes right…’ The monitor pinged and Stuart looked back at it, and both smiled and seemed hesitant. “Yeah… I’ll admit it’s not the most assured plan using Littles over there to get us the footage, but it’s either that or we send in a person to take it from you, which could blow your cover, or we extract you early, with or without a story.” Ashley rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. Just… I guess as long as the footage comes back intact for me to do a story after…” Ashley then hopped off the chair and walked over to where Stuart was sitting. “Now… how about that battery life? What am I working with here?” Stuart seemed more hesitant in this answer and then waved his hand around. “Well… difficult to say really. It could last anywhere from two months to…” * * * Day 0 – 12:30 P.M. EDT – Earth The clouds stretched for what seemed like miles as Ashley looked out over the budding metropolis of Philly. The so-called ‘dark times’ had hit the city pretty bad, but with the Amazons… Bigs bump in technology, the city was breathing a long sigh of relief and hope once more. Buildings shined, stonework had been repaired, and the streets now remained clean and devoid of pretty much every gang that once roamed so freely. Ashley was just a kid when all that was going on, and was mostly shielded by her parents, but now, both they and that old festering city were long gone. “Ashley?” Ms. Abernathy called from her desk, to which Ashley spun around. “Mr. Swarthout will see you now.” Ashley nodded and proceeded through the large wooden double doors and into Mrs. Swarthout’s office, the CEO of the magazine here. “You wanted to see me, boss?” Mr. Swarthout was looking at a painting behind his desk but then turned to see Ashley. “Yes… please have a seat.” As he gestured to the open seat in front of his desk, his mouth was grinning, but his eyes bore a heavy aura of dismay and even worry. “Is this about the assignment?” she asked, sitting down and getting comfortable while also trying to maintain a good posture in front of her boss… someone who could pull the plug on all this at the snap of his fingers. Mr. Swarthout sighed before sitting down himself and folding his fingers together. “Well, you are the investigator. I guess I shouldn’t try to hide my intentions of this meeting…” Ashley hesitated by ultimately shook her head. “Very well… I just wanted to check on a few things, but primarily…” He quickly looked like he wanted to puke or curse. “You have until the end of October to get back here and report your story. Beyond that, and regardless of your progress… I pull the assignment. Understood?” Ashley did and nodded, but her face seemed to swarm with questions. “I won’t need that long, right? I mean, if our reports are anything to go off, I should find a story worth all this effort in no time at all and be back before the end of August if my other timelines are anything to go off.” “Maybe…” Mr. Swarthout was a cautious man, but bold as well when he needed to be. Today, his cautious side was showing far more than usual. “It’s just that our reports also indicated that you could encounter no small amount of… trouble. And frankly, Ashley, that’s putting it mildly. I know you’re no stranger to conflict… civil wars, violent dictators, drug trafficking… your resume speaks for itself by now, but…” He trailed off and his eyes hung heavy with something like fear. ‘The pictures… the reports… he must be thinking about the same packet of information we got back from one of our vacationing reporters over there that sparked all this initially…’ Ashley shifted uncomfortably, likely recalling the effects on one such individual that escaped back here, as opposed to their own journalist which had not. “Yes, sir… I know the risks. Those other assignments had their own risks, but at the end of the day, a Kevlar jacket can keep a bullet away. Over there though… not sure how much I can do to stop some even half of what I’ve heard about if it comes to that.” “Exactly.” His words seemed happy that Ashley was showing that she wasn’t going into this blind, but the risks were clearly still sticking around in the front of his mind. “Just remember that most will be out to stop you if you get anywhere near one of the better stories. You will be a target already the moment you step foot on their soil… stats on humans returning from over there who stay more than a week aren’t good. Potentially, with the October cutoff even, you could be over there for over 140 days... more if even the slightest thing goes wrong. Plus, you could be walking right into a trap and not even know it until it was too late.” Ashley sighed, and she was clearly processing everything, but she nearly unbothered by it not long after. “Maybe… but I’ve done that before, and besides… maybe I won’t even deviate from the tour group I’m already signed up for? Could be something interesting there… Diamond Tours I think I heard? Or maybe that was the other one I investigated and then rejected…” The tiny scoff from Mr. Swarthout was audible, but he also didn’t press it any further. “Well… I guess I can’t stop you at this point. You’re stubborn, and that makes you a great journalist, but still, as they used to say… be it on your head then.” Just as Ashley started to stand after nodding in acknowledgement back to him, he then stood up. “Oh, wait… Ashley…” She stopped herself from leaving. “Speaking of tour group… do you have a backstory yet? Your name could be well-known… even to a bunch of Bigs.” This time Ashley smiled with confidence and then pulled out a thick manilla envelope from her bag. “All in here, Sir. Stuart set me up as usual, and I don’t open this thing until I’m locked-in back home. You just never know who could be watching and wind up blowing my cover…” “Hmmm… very diligent of you.” His eyes went down to look over the packet now gripped tightly in her fingers. “I’m sure it will all be up to our standards. Still though…” Worry eclipsed his face once more. “I’m just… I’m concerned about you, Ashley. Would you…” He briefly grimaced. “Would you maybe reconsider? As a favor to an old man?” Ashley frowned at first, shaking her head and then backing away from the seat in front of his desk with a warmer smile instead. “No, sir. I’m not giving up this assignment for anything. I value your concern, sir, but now. Besides, I’ll be fine. I’m not a rookie anymore… so please… stop worrying, will you? I’ve got everythi…” * * * Day 0.1 – 12:30 P.M. EDT – Earth A small room came into view, suitcases and cardboard boxes taking up a majority of the initial frame. Some framed photos were perched nearby, but most of the items besides the main furniture pieces seemed to be souvenirs from around the world, presumably from Ashely’s travels in her job. One could tell a lot about a person looking at just their walls, and Ashley was no different, definitely being the type of person who valued degrees and awards over relationships, and beads from a far-off country to even something as simple as a pet. “Okay… back at my apartment now…” Ashley blinked a few times as she stared into a nearby mirror, temporarily pressing around the feed of her eye. “Still find this strange that everything is recording. Going to the bathroom felt wrong at first… but Stuart assured me yesterday that a filter will be applied before all this stuff gets submitted. Better not be lying about that, or so help me…” Ashley cracked her knuckles and then shook her head. “Whatever… this assignment is going to be a little strange, but first step… pack up the apartment.” She momentarily tapped one of the nearby cardboard boxes perched on a side table of sorts. “Mr. Swarthout is instituting the usual policy of paying for my lease for three months, but after that… the rest of my stuff will go into storage until I get back.” Her face clouded a little in sadness. “Gosh… I still miss my old place before the assignment I took in Germany that lasted another month longer than I thought it was going to.” She then shook her head and looked right into the mirror. “Regardless, I wanted to specifically include this bit for the future for two reasons. The first… well, is me.” She then waved into the mirror. “Not sure how all these angles work exactly, but hey! My name is Ashley Cutters, and I’m an investigative journalist for the magazine, Times Reporting. We cover a lot of local news, but since the ‘dark times’ ended, the magazine has been branching out more onto the country and now world stage.” Ashley then walked into what best could be described as her dining room, though the cluttered table seemed far from sitting anyone comfortably for a meal anytime soon. “So, just to note as well… I requested this assignment. Basically, I was reading a few articles from escaped Littles in the other dimension, plus the one from our own reporter, and I just knew there was a story there waiting to be told. It just felt like too good an opportunity to pass up, so I volunteered right away when Mr. Swarthout wanted to publish a story of some kind from over there. He wasn’t super specific about what, but it gives me plenty of leeway for any type of story I want. Just needs to be compelling.” She then walked over and sat down in front of a large stack of papers. “Now, I also wanted to do this…” She paused and reached for the large and thick manilla folder she had previously received from Stuart and then shown to Mr. Swarthout. “I want to see inside, and I really need to start memorizing everything in here. I’ve got about three days to do this, and if I’m discreet, I can do the rest of the finer details on the bus ride after the portal facility and travel… I hope.” Popping the folder open, Ashley seemed curious as to what was truly inside for this little operation of hers and moments later began to fish out what looked like a passport, cash, personal items, and several other odds and ends. “Well… I guess it could be worse.” She then pulled the ID card close into her face before showing it off at different angles around the room. “Still not sure how this tech works, but I don’t want to take a chance. Guess I need to reach out to Stuart before I leave about the specifics for all that, but for now…” Her finger then pointed to her name. “Looks like I’m now going to be Ashley… Stevens.” She paused and squinted at the ID card for a moment. “Hmmm… first name is the same. Easier to memorize, but not the best for covers.” Setting the ID down with a sigh, she started to read over a thick packet of information. “And it looks like I’m a personal trainer originally from Seattle, Washington. I guess…” she then glanced down at her body, “I guess I could pass for one. Need to check out a few facts and routines maybe first before I leave, but still…” She then sighed and looked at one of the few photo frames in the room. “Sgt. Gideon… Elias could’ve done better….” She picked up the frame and gently caressed the photo within, clearly showing herself and a taller and muscular man geared in desert camo. “Best military contact I ever had. Never worried about ID’s, background, or keeping my butt safe. He did that and more…” She left her words hanging on the air for a second as she lowered the frame to her lap and looked longingly out her apartment window. Looking back down about a minute later, she shrugged her shoulders. “Oh well… I’m sure he’s off protecting someone else by now. Wish he was coming with me, but… oh! And here are the portal tickets.” Ruffling through the spilled-out contents a little more after setting the frame of her and Sgt. Elias aside, Ashley then produced a large rectangular ticket that shimmered in sections underneath the overhead lights. “Good. Three days from now. Plenty of time to get all this memorized for my purposes. And… interesting.” She then pulled the ticket closer to her face. “Leaving from the portal in Philly but going to their portal facility across the country in Niveis… our Nevada. Curious…” Swishing around the finer details of her mission and some further notes on her background packet of detail to memorize for her undercover identity, Ashley finally stood up and began to pace around the room. Each time she made another lap around her furniture; she would switch to reciting another fact about ‘Ashley Stevens.’ Before long, she stopped and went back to the mirror she had started with. “You are Ashley… Ashley Stevens…” She said it, her voice shaking a little at first, and from her tense facial muscles, it seemed to deeply bother her. ‘Go again, Ash… Try it with more confidence… practice makes perfect, right?’ She then gazed back into the mirror. “You are Ashley Ste… Stevens…” ‘Crud! Again, and get it right this time.’ She sighed and took another huge breath. “You are Ashley Stevens.” This time the words came to her much more easily. “You are… Ashley Stevens!” A smile began to creep over her face. “You are Ashley Stevens! Ashley Stevens! Ashley Stevens!” * * * Day 0.4 – 11:16 P.M. EDT – Earth “Ashley Stevens checking in.” Ashley was now dressed more sporty, complete with tennis shoes and a pair of yoga pants as opposed to her previously more typical rugged clothing, born from years on the road and in foreign countries. Her high-top ponytail just seemed to add to her new persona as she handed over her fake ID to the ticket person at the newly constructed portal depot. Working exclusively in glass and steel almost seemed to be a requirement with the design of this building, looking both futuristic and intimidating but welcoming at the same time. For a moment before entering, Ashley hesitated just to look at the newly added structure to just outside of Philly. It was just another example of how everything was changing at breakneck speeds recently. After a second, bringing her attention back to the present, the ticket person looked back at Ashley and smiled. “Oh, yes. Sorry about the wait. Still upgrading from the original systems here. Those old hunks of junk were slow but steady and never crashed. These new ones from the other dimension, well… let’s just say I do a backup of my computer once an hour now… just in case.” “Oh no!” Ashley seemed to feign her concern over such a simple matter. Ashley had a heart for sure, but it was more calculating sometimes when it came to others. Ashley Stevens, though, was a character and needed a more jovial nature to blend in better and form connections which she could later exploit for her story. Stuart being Stuart had laid all that out in detail in her briefing packet. “Don’t you just hate it when that happens! My studio just got the new system last month, and ugh! Never seen so many crashes in my life.” The ticket person smiled while also rolling their eyes. “Oh, that’s just terrible. I’m so sorry.” The computer then whirred to life and a scanner-like noise could be heard followed by a single beep. Smiling back, the ticket person handed Ashley back her ticket. “Alright, hon. You should be all set to go.” The ticket person’s eyes then dropped to their screen. “Huh… portal station to the east of Carson City and north of Prata… strange… Why don’t they just call it Las Vegas like we do? I mean, they call their Philadelphia, Philadelphia as well, you know? Silly Bigs, right?” Ash nodded but she knew the answer and just didn’t seem to be able to hold back. “It’s already Greek. Their dimension pulls a lot from the Greek and Latin. The attendant stared back blankly for a moment, and from a quick widening of her eyes, it was evident that Ashley knew she had pushed her knowledge too far. Sure, a personal trainer could know that stuff, but it might have been more unusual for them to point it out. “At least… that’s what I read in Times Reporting last month!” The ticket person quickly smiled once again. “Oh! That must be it. They do have the most fascinating articles on all that silly stuff.” Ashley clenched her fist temporarily but made sure to maintain her smile above the ticket counter. “Now then…” The ticket person’s finger then pointed to a wide-set hallway with several numbers above it. “Follow pathway 6 and you should be all set to go for your 12:30 departure time to portal station, Niveis 1!” Grabbing the ticket, Ashley smiled broadly back at them, clearly relieved that she had mustered her way out of that slip-up in character. “Perfect! You have yourself a wonderful day!” Waving goodbye like she had once seen in an old movie, the ticket person waved back without incident. ‘Whew! Definitely going to have to get used to this chipper personality that Stuart set me up with…’ In truth, Ashley could have changed it, but by now, she knew that for the moment, she could get more with a more empathetic and bubblier persona than her own. She almost always reverted to her usual self, but she made no more mention of it and proceeded calmly through the newly designed and built portal terminal building. * * * Day 0.4 – 12:26 P.M. EDT – Earth “Next, please!” a stubby and smiling man said, gesturing to the line Ashley was in while scanning everyone’s tickets before sending them off and down the ramp to the large metallic circle at the far end of the room. “Have your tickets out and ready to scan!” Ashley was more than ready by now and eagerly tapped the extended handle of her suitcase. She had shown up early and had spent the past hour getting some coffee and a small pastry. She wanted to eat more, but one of the top suggestions for portal travel was ‘don’t eat or at least eat light’ beforehand. As she scanned her ticket and saw the portal, her face seemed both relieved and content. ‘At least it’s Philly and not one of the ones out in the middle of nowhere. I think they still use the tech that fries your DNA or something and you have to go into medical hibernation for a week… or was it a month?’ She shook her head and kept moving toward the portal entrance… still lying dormant. “Attention!” the seemingly head scientist announced, clad in his pristine lab coat near the top of a platform next to the portal. Everyone below waiting in line immediately turned to him. “Now, I know this will be new for some of you, so just hold on and I promise! Everything you are about to see, hear, and witness is completely normal. Once activated, we will proceed one at a time. But first, please take the pill you are being handed now.” A smaller scientist, dressed in more hospital-like scrubs, came along and handed everyone a pill. Looking down at her palm after being handed one, the blackish green pill didn’t seem to sit well at all with Ashley. ‘Oh boy! Just gotta do this and get it over with. Can’t be worse than the scorpion shot down in Mexico last year, right?’ Wincing a little, Ashley immediately popped the pill into her mouth and visibly swallowed. “And now,” the head scientist continued, “we shall proceed! Activate the portal!” Almost like a performance of sorts, portal travel still fascinated most. For Ashley, the vibrations that started when the switch was thrown unnerved her just a little bit. ‘What the hell is that?’ Everyone had heard what portal travel was like, but seemingly like the universe was getting pierced into two, the whole room shook with tremendous fury. An audible whine and groan of a sound echoed off the walls, and soon, everything just turned to an unsettling hum. ‘God! I can feel it in my stomach!’ Several others groaned, but like the popping of ears after a flight, everything suddenly went still. Briefly everything became fuzzy within view, complete with static on the fringes of the frame by the date and time stamp, but when it snapped back, the portal quickly erupted with a viscous blue fluid. Shimmering and almost magical, it was entrancing to most. Ashley could only stare back in wonder at what was unfolding before her. Then, like a pool of water settling after being disturbed by a rock being thrown in, the liquid-like substance stopped and only briefly rippled within the metal circle device above everyone. “Wow…” Several of the crowd nodded in agreement with Ashley’s short but quite accurate reaction to what they had all just witnessed. “This way! This way!” the head scientist squawked again, looking at his watch quickly as if he had a pressing schedule to keep. The entire room hummed with life and the blue energy coiled through the wiring leading to the perimeter of the metal circle that now contained the liquid-seeming center. It was all quite mesmerizing and… “Feeling nervous, honey?” Ashley turned around to see a slightly taller woman smiling kindly down at her. Ashley wasn’t short by any means, but this woman easily eclipsed her by a good foot at least. Ashley quickly shook her head. ‘Crud! Is she an Amazon? Crud! I mean… Big!’ Everyone knew by now that physical compression between the portals was common. Most Littles over there shrank at least an inch, but coming over here, the same applied to Bigs… just not as well. Most towered over the rest of the population and were pretty obvious once pointed out. “N… no!” she blurted out, a little more defiant and defensively than she had anticipated. “I mean… no. Just… hungry.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the whole truth either. The taller woman smiled. “No worries, dear. There’s nothing to any of this anymore. Once the pill enters your stomach, you might feel a little woozy on the other side, but nothing a nice nap can’t fix. Just breathe easy and you’ll be right as rain.” “Thank you…” Ashley blushed a little, feeling a little overwhelmed by her presence alone, but at the same time… there was almost something alluring to her voice and overall demeanor. Something inviting… something… ‘No, no, Ash! Not that crud. Stay strong and stay focused. Just keep walking… just keep walking…’ “Ticket please,” one of the scientists requested as soon as Ashley was second in line to the portal. Nodding, she handed the ticket over, which was then scanned, and a small hole was punched into the bar code. “Walk forward and don’t forget to just keep breathing.” Their voice was almost mechanical… definitely without any shred of emotion or sympathy, but Ashley could only sigh and step forward. ‘Maybe complacency just means they do this all the time? More portal travel; less problems, right?’ The unease on her face didn’t seem to mix with her inner confidence, but she just breathed slowly as instructed and closed her eyes for a second, gripped her suitcase tight, and stepped through the… * * * Day 1 – 9:33 A.M. PDT – Earth 2 “Talk about a rough landing, huh?” another one from Ashley’s tour group asked her as he hobbled forward with everyone else toward the sign marked ‘Busses.’ “Yeah… you could say that…” Ashley brushed off the feeling of exhaustion blanketing over her already but just seemed glad to be here now. ‘At least I didn’t stumble… would’ve made a terrible first impression with the Bigs… Lost an inch or two though I think…’ “Come on, everyone!” one of the Bigs directed as they stood erect against the wall along the hallway leading out. “Don’t stop. Plenty more coming behind.” Ashley might have looked to check if the Big was lying or not, but the sheer size and sternness etched deep into the Big’s face made her snap her head back facing forward. ‘Don’t question… don’t poke… at least not yet.’ Getting outside, the sun blinded nearly everyone, and Ashley had to shield her eyes away from its intense glare. Everything felt bigger… more tactile, more dangerous here already… and that included the sun. ‘Man… please don’t burn already. I packed my sunscreen down deep. I thought I wasn’t going to need it until later… Stupid brain! You should have remembered to always be prepared with that kind of stuff after Iran last year!’ “Alright everyone!” another Big announced, stepping up in front of the group. “Per your tickets, you all are here for the Hermes Travel Company, correct? First stop, Alati Lake City?” Almost everyone nodded with the exception of two who then checked their ticket and ran off to the signs listing ‘Prata’ and ‘Carson City.’ A few giggled at their expense. Smirking as well, the Big continued. “Excellent! All good now, I’m sure. Welcome! I’m Miss Ripert, your tour guide.” A few clapped, but most seemed more or less out of it already. “Now, I’m sure you’re all pretty exhausted, so just let me check you in and then hop on board. While you wait, let our driver, Stephen, take your bags. I promise… they will be safe.” Ashley didn’t like to let go of all her belongings here to a complete stranger, but she relented as the portly man ambled up and asked to take her suitcase with a smile. “Ashley Stevens,” she said boldly when asked by Miss Ripert her name and for her portal ticket and confirmation number. ‘Please don’t be an issue… I don’t think I can defy someone this tall on my first day… at least not feeling this tired…’ “Let’s see… Ashley… Ashley… Ash… ah! Here we go.” Scanning the ticket and verifying her number, the little tablet in her large hands beeped. “Perfect. You’re all set.” Ashley nodded. “Thank you.” Climbing on board next, she eventually found her seat. Moments after Stephen popped the bus on and it roared to life, Ashley couldn’t fight it anymore and sleep soon overtook her, blacking out the feed once more. * * * Day 1 – 2:50 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 The bus hit a bump, and everything popped back on suddenly. “Wha…?” Ashley sleepily stirred to life and instantly stretched. Looking at her watch, it showed that she had been asleep for over five hours. “Gessh… guess I really was tired.” ‘At least I memorized more of my backstory before I left instead of relying on the bus ride…’ The bus then started to turn and Ashley shifted toward the window from the force of the pull. It wasn’t major, but it was just enough that it slightly shifted her gaze to the left… which just happened to be the perfect timing to see a large glimmering city just out her window. “Wow… I guess that’s Alati Lake City…” “Yep,” another passenger on the tour bus confirmed. “Miss Ripert just announced that a few minutes ago. Should be arriving in the next hour or so depending on traffic getting into the city.” “Thanks…” Ashley smiled back at her fellow tourer and then looked immediately back at the city. A mirror counterpart of Salt Lake City, the surroundings seemed near identical, but here, due to the advanced technology, the city now almost seemed to shine like silver and gold against the bright sun overhead. The pale blue and expansive Alati Lake could just be made out to the west of the city against the backdrop of the near mountains. ‘I wasn’t so sure about this location… especially in comparison against all the rest… but I don’t think I’ll be disappointed here as a first stop… even if it is for almost a week.’ Minutes later, as if to confirm and elevate her excitement even more, Miss Ripert stood up in front of the bus. “We should be arriving within the city soon, and then it will be about another 15 to 20 to get to our hotel, depending on traffic. For now, though,” she smiled playfully and gestured outside of the lefthand of the bus, “this is Alati Lake City. One of the most populous cities in the state as well as being the capital of Utem. I’m sure in the next few days, all if you will get to explore the wonderful outdoor recreation and hub of religious culture that the city is known for.” Miss Ripert then cleared her throat. “That being said, though, I just wanted to give out a few warnings. Us Bigs are good people, but a few may be more inclined to certain… impulses. To avoid these, there are a few simple steps you can follow. Trust me, you’ll want to pay attention to these. They could just mean the difference of you all leaving back through the portal… or something more… permanent.” A few of the Littles murmured in fear, but most stayed silent and listened closely. “Now, first up, never talk…” * * * Day 1 – 4:55 P.M. MDT – Earth 2 Busses hissed to a halt outside the large and opulent sandstone and blue building that was their hotel. It wasn’t the tallest around, but the buildings on either side from this angle shrank close to the ground. As Ashley stared up at the tall building, she couldn’t help but hold her mouth agape in awe. ‘Wow… technology and art fused around here so seamlessly… and it’s only day one.’ “Okay,” Miss Ripert began to shout over the more populated streets, “we’ve all checked in and offloaded your luggage into your rooms for the night. With this tour, we will spend about six days here and in the surrounding mountains, exploring several sites and visiting several companies I think you might find most… illuminating.” Moving away from the hotel, Miss Ripert began to explain all about the city and its founding. “Founded almost two centuries ago now, a breakaway sect from the mainstream religion at the time settled here to practice as they wished. As a result, laws here became more flexible, and desires flared to make a city that would not only last the test of time but also break free of the shackles of many cities to the east that derived their city planning from Europa’s cities at the time.” Looking around as they walked, Ashley could see the validity of Miss Ripert’s words. While there was almost a neo-classical feeling to some of the buildings and statues around, there was also a clear push for styles corresponding to more retro-futuristic in some parts and touches of Brutalism in others. It seemed an odd combination, but it also gave the city a variety that was missing from most cities back on Earth lately. With many destroyed or in need of heavy repairs, most began to look eerily similar as they were rebuilt. Here though, the uniqueness along with clear city planning and a dash of color everywhere, stood out strongly in contrast. “Now, of course, subsequent renovations to them have closed this gap in recent years, but Alati Lake City stands as a testament to…” “Ophelia! Get back here!” a woman screamed from nearby. The group looked over and saw, with the reaction of many gasps of horror, a Little was running through the streets and away from a Big. “No, sweetie! Not into traffic!” Clearly panicking, she seemed to wilt in seeing the Little dodge cars whose hoods she barely stood over. “Someone! Anyone! Stop her!” Most of the group seemed stunned, but Miss Ripert acted quickly and used herself as a shield to block our movement any closer to the Little now blocking traffic. “Stay back everyone. They need to solve this on their own. Trust me… you don’t want to get involved.” As if right on cue, the crowd began to depart. That, and plus the stopped cars, formed some semblance of a circle around the Little, supposedly called Ophelia. From her expression, some doubt definitely seemed to be present in Ashley’s mind if that was even her name though when she first heard it. “Come on, honey. There’s no way out. Come back to Mama.” The woman Big seemed genuinely concerned about ‘her’ Little, but the whole scene still felt very much out of place and even illegal at times if looked at from the right angles… especially regarding the relationship between Big and Little here. Ashley edged forward, but Miss Ripert blocked her path to get a better look. Ashley’s frown showed she didn’t appreciate that, but not pushing it further, anyone could see that she was trying to listen in, despite her distance away from the scene. “Never! I would rather die than go back to be your baby slave!” The Little wasn’t calm, but was clearly level-headed enough to speak without any signs of mental or physical impairment. ‘I don’t know what would be worse to see… a Little that was mentally affected, or a Little that was so physically affected, that their mentality didn’t mean much anymore. Ugh… best not think about it, Ash…’ Regardless, the scene unfolding was aligning with what about Ashley had read about and then been briefed on before coming here. It was a terrible one, but it was realization of the truth that yes, there was a story here somewhere. Ophelia practically growled in response. “Heck no! You stay back, lady! I can’t even curse anymore because of you!” Ashley looked puzzled for a moment. ‘I wonder what the heck that means?’ She paused but then quickly turned her attention back to the unfolding scene between Ophelia and the Big. “You even forced me into…” An odd sort of look came over Ophelia’s face and her eyes squinted in pure hatred toward the Big. “You know what? I don’t need to wear these anymore.” She stomped her foot and then reached right under her dress… and pulled off her diaper, clearly being a cheap alternative that would even allow for that sort of thing. Most from Earth by now already had heard at least the rumors about ‘unremovable’ diapers, but from the reports, Ashley knew they were much more than just rumors. Still, despite the oddity of a Little even being able to tear off their diaper, it was still a clear act of defiance here and many gasped in the crowd around Ashley. “Take that, lady!” Ophelia hissed back at the Big with more confidence than someone who had just been wearing a diaper ought to have. The Big temporarily scowled. “Mommy! It’s ‘Mommy,’ Ophelia. Remember that?” Ashley seemed perplexed for a moment regarding the Big’s demeanor. ‘Which was she more upset about? The diaper or the lack of term to address her?’ “No!” Ophelia screamed again, this time stomping her foot on the ground and then over top of her diaper. “You’re not my mommy! My mommy is back home and…” Right as she said it though, it was clear to anyone watching that she hadn’t meant to say that… or at least not come across so childish when referring to her true parent back on Earth. Before anyone else could react though, a series of high-pitched whistles rang out through the streets and two police officers ran to the scene. “Ma’am? Is this one your Little?” The Big nodded her head. “I’m very sorry, officer. I promise you that she’s normally not like this. I…” “Ma’am… if she is under your care, then I’m afraid you are both going to need to come to court.” The officer didn’t mince his words at all, now only pointing back to where they had come from, which one could just see beyond the crowds was their police car. “Or… that’s at least what will happen if you can’t resolve this situation in the next minute, understand?” The Big now genuinely seemed fearful, but seconds later, resolved as well. Looking back at Ophelia, she smiled, but now also seemed burdened by the alternative if she failed now. Ashley leaned closer, knowing something was about to happen between them. “I’m sorry, Ophelia…” “Sorry?” Ophelia questioned. “Sorry for wh…?” Before she could speak another syllable though, the Big had rushed up to her, wrangled her into her arms, and then popped a large bulbous white pacifier in Ophelia’s mouth before hitting the front button at least three times. Needless to say, Ophelia seemed outraged and more worryingly, in pain now. ‘Wow… I hope I’m capturing all angles of this… this could be a great story… Poor Ophelias though…’ Ashley seemed sympathetic to a fellow Little, but the journalist in her wasn’t just going to stop and looking at this story from all the angles. Abuse. Being held against one’s will. Infantilization to the highest degree. A corrupt system. The normality of the treatment. Ashley could see all the titles of her next article so perfectly, but as she looked around, her smile of a possible story began to fade. ‘No one’s even batting an eye over this. If they’re not reacting harshly to this, then it’s already at least mostly normalized… which means there’s another story that no one wants to talk about… or even can for that matter. No… this isn’t my story.’ “Good work, ma’am. Just try to keep a closer eye on her. I might even suggest some… modifications, or some equipment maybe,” one of the officers noted swiftly once Ophelia had been pacified and was now being held firmly in place, not going anywhere… even as she struggled heavily… even more so after he mentioned ‘modifications’ and ‘equipment’ being used. “Now… being a parent myself to a Little, I might suggest you rediaper her. Never can be too careful, right?” The Big smiled and bounced Ophelia gently, despite her continued protests. “Oh no. Definitely not. Fortunately, we live right up the street. Absolutely not going to let her ruin the new carpet I just had put in.” A few of the Bigs laughed nearby but Ashley didn’t seem to know how to react. ‘If I laugh, I’m a terrible person without empathy towards a fellow Little. If I don’t laugh… I could seem suspicious. Ugh… well, maybe just roll the dice and see what happens.’ So, instead, Ashley just opted for silence instead of compliance. She seemed to catch the suspicious and maybe even evil glance shot her way by one of the locals, but otherwise, most didn’t comment. “And also… rest assured officer,” the woman Big continued, bouncing Ophelia in her arms, “little Ophelia here won’t be practicing anymore escape attempts under my watch. I can assure you of that.” She patted her Little on the butt a few times as Ophelia let out a small whimper of defeat and most definitely fear. The officer only tipped his hat, smiled, and left. As for the reactions from the rest of the tour group… they were less inclined to say anything. It only took a second though, to realize that most now seemed too petrified over what just happened in front of them. Most grimaced even further when the Big got Ophelia to wave her hand back at everyone and babyishly say ‘goodbye’ for her to the crowd there. It was an unsettling sight to say the least. Still, the scene now over, Miss Ripert glanced back at the group. “Now then… no worries, my darlings. Just a small escapee of a Little. These attempts happen all the time here now, but you have to give their tiny failures a little sympathy at least… and nothing more.” Ashley knitted her hands together, clearly trying to distance herself from all that was happening. It was all terrible to see, but the complacency of every Big now that Ophelia had been taken away was disconcerting. This wasn’t her story, but as Ashley listened on to excuse after excuse by Miss Ripert over what just happened, it felt more like a conspiracy embedded into the very fabric of the society here than anything else… and certainly not the fault of a small and clearly traumatized Little. Ashley didn’t have a story yet, but seeing it was only Day 1 and this had happened literally right in front of her when she wasn’t even looking, her overall confidence seemed to bloom that yes, she would find a story. ‘I vow to myself now… I’m not leaving here until I get the story I’m looking for. ‘Ashley Cutter’ will soon be a name on everyone’s lips back home. The Little that figured out the truth of this terrible place!’ It might have been a simplistic platitude, but it provided the tiniest of smiles. Even in a place like this, it was good to have hope that everything would be okay. So, for Ashley, that absolutely meant that by the end here, she would have her story.

I'm sorry to hear that, and honestly, I think a lot of people would take the same view these days. ARV is a curse, but as I noted, there are a few upsides to them. For a lot of people I think, those upsides would be very tempting. As for me, I kind of have to weigh these things in two ways. On the one hand, I love being an adult. As strange as it may sound now with all my writings here, I was actually that kid that always wanted to be an adult. I go on several trips throughout the year and I value my independence, and with ARV, both would be a thing of the past. So, in that sense, it would be a negative. On the other hand though, I hate the worry of having all the responsibilities on my shoulders and needing to do every little adult thing myself. Plus, I can't say I would rather commute to work or file my taxes than have fun coloring back home or watching some cartoons... or one of a million other things. So, that part of me would absolutely think that ARV would be a positive. Also, not for nothing, but I think I would want to be one of the Infasia ARs than just above that threshold. I get embarrassed way too easily, so coming down wouldn't be great, but once I was there, I think I would sort of embrace it a lot more. And not for nothing, but losing a few scars, long-term pains, and a few stupid mental things wouldn't be such a bad thing either. Thank you! It was a long journey and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I definitely can't wait until I start my next story though!

Hey everyone! Woo hoo! Clocking in at 303 pages and over 225305 words, this is now the final chapter of this story. It’s been a long road, and it’s wild to think this concept I created five years ago last month is now done. It’s a little bittersweet, but such a nice feeling in getting it completed. I’ve thought of several other stories that could be set with ARV, but like always now, I will leave this up to the polls in the future. Also, big, big shoutout to everyone who read and supported this story over the months that it took to complete. As I have always said, I really do this writing for me, and that allows me to push through any controversy, argument, or criticism on here, but you all add a whole other layer of excitement to all this, and I can’t thank you enough for that. It’s a nice push in a hard chapter to get through or when life gets rough, and another chapter just doesn’t seem doable anymore. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for all your amazing comments, reading of this story, and yes, even likes to each chapter. Pardon the simplicity, but you all rock! Next, without further ado, tallying the poll, notes on here, and private messages, winning by a margin of just two votes… A Conspiracy in Peirama is the winner for the next story on here. So, yay with all that! It should be a really fun story to fully flesh out, even just based on the preliminary work that I’ve already done with it. Moving into the future though, I think what I might end up doing for future stories is sticking to the rule of two (any Sith/Star Wars lovers out there?) regarding what topic I put in the polls. So, like this previous poll of only Diaper Dimension stories, if it gets to the point where there are two DD stories in a row, I’ll only put up non-DD stories just to make it fresh. It might seem a little less democratic that way, but especially with some of the longer stories I’m writing now, I think this is best. As to why, for a little perspective, it’s been over half a year now since I even touched on the DD. And please trust me when I say that’s fine and all, but in writing these past two stories, it took a second to get into the more baby elements of them. I know for some of you, that is perfectly fine, but I think there’s just something about doing all that in such a careful and controlled way in the DD that makes it really fun as a writer that doesn’t always happen in the other categories of stories. It’s just one example, but I think it will only help everything moving forward. Now, before I move on, just to clarify what this would entail specifically… going forward I’m going to split my stories into two categories: DD stories and non-DD stories. Unlike previous years where it might have been five or six DD stories in a row, I’m going to split it up a little more. For those non-DD stories, these could include more ARV tales, the maturity laws series, or even some of the other ones I’ve concocted. For example, I have a story sort of using the concept/framework from The Last of Us or one that involves a bunch of mischievous and vengeful fairies bent on justice or revenge against the main character. Just some examples of the over 60 story concepts I have, so, I think this should keep everything interesting and establish a variety here where no one gets tired of the genre being chosen for too long. I think I’m also going to stick with the polling system I’ve been using for a little bit now. It’s not the best, and I’ll continue to look into other ways (suggestions are always appreciated), but it’s good enough for now, and to be blunt, that’s okay with me. I think everyone here would rather that I spend more time writing these stories than worrying about that one aspect of all this, but let me know if that is an incorrect assumption. Next, looking ahead, before I touch on A Conspiracy in Peirama, I’m going to take a little time off… at least from my main writing stories. With my next story also returning to the DD, I know I desperately need to update the map of Libertalia and the DD reference guide. It’s almost been a year, and I know that several new stories have come out… plus about five pages of new material from my last few stories that just never made it on there. It’ll be a task to complete for sure, but it will be a nice alternative for my mind to bounce off as I flesh out the first few chapters. To this point, I think I’m going to be taking at least two weeks off before I post the first chapter to the next story. It might not be ideal, but this month is crazy, and I definitely want to give the attention to this story that it deserves. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this final chapter! Chapter 26: Anniversaries of Consequences, Losses, and Acceptances Fuzzy memories. Laughter and joy but flashes of things I should have been humiliated by. Even all these months later, I just can’t shake the little flashes I get. Dr. Faulkner says one day they’ll be gone, but for today, I have other concerns to take care of. Shaking my head from those flashes, I adjust myself and then clear my throat again at the little desk my dad made for me special to do my art. Today though, it’s serving a different purpose as I hit the record button again. “Representing the largest act of domestic terrorism in world history, an estimated 40% of the population of the country had been affected in some way by the variable and far-reaching virus. Victims like my parents saw it as a miracle against the fight of old age and disease. People like Oliver viewed it as a second chance in life… even if that meant destroying their livers in the process. And, lastly, even the younger, like Phil or Dylan, are now using it to advance themselves in ways that would have taken half their lives. Sure, the virus meant having to relearn a few things for them and I see the long-term stuff every time I see them now, but they are youthful enough to take advantage of it but not too old to not see this all as a second chance at life. As…” “Pete?” my mommy calls from downstairs. “Are you recording again?” “Yes, mommy!” I answer back, quickly pausing my recording. I make a quick mental note to go back and edit out her voice for later use of this. “Okay, sweetie. Just remember… we’re leaving soon for the town square,” she notes as a further reminder to me on top of the at least six or seven other times she told me it earlier today. It was three years to the day since the day textbooks now officially referred to as Orange Day, and I couldn’t exactly blame her these days for making sure I remembered things… especially given the events since my first diagnosis and what all came after, including what just ended only a few months. “Now…” I continue, flicking my recording switch back on, “as I was saying… as for…” “Pete?” my mommy calls out again. “You need a change before we leave? Do you need me to come and check for you?” “No!” I groan a little, but again, her question is valid. Looking down, my ever-present padding hadn’t vanished since I first slipped back into them. Recent events haven’t helped me either, but as I smell the air, I don’t think I’m stinky. Unfortunately, though, it takes a deep poke and shuffle of the front to check if I’m wet. “Only a little wet, mommy!” “Okay!” she acknowledges quickly. “I’ll check before we leave just in case you have any more accidents… but so you know, you only have about ten more minutes until then, alright?” “Yes, mommy!” I want to get back to my recording, but I know to always use my patience with her, so I wait a few seconds just in case she thinks of something else to ask me. When she doesn’t ask anything more, I flick on the recording switch once more. “Now… as for people like me, and just being honest, babies, we were estimated to represent about 5% of the total population. Several claimed that more had been affected but due to shame, secrecy, cover-ups, and a whole host of other theories, they had simply been labeled as unclaimed babies or ‘new additions’ to families.” I wince, thinking of the several that had cropped up in the news in the past few years… each more daunting than the last. “Rumors weren’t helped at all when a commune had been discovered with at least 30 babies… most of which had been long since broken, but a few managed to stay intact mentally and tell their story.” I pause the recording and know I would likely need to edit and cut down what I was saying into more manageable bits to later write on. For now, though, I know I just need to get my thoughts down… just in case. It had been months now since I came out of my long fugue, but I was never sure if it had gone truly away or not. I then hit the recording button once more. “Many hoped that places like Linfield and even just the virus would go away. After all, it was just a virus released by the ’87 terrorist group, good people or intentions by them or not, but fate had other plans in store for what had been unleashed on the world three years ago. Like the atomic bomb when it was first discovered, however, once the virus had been released, there wasn’t any scenario of pretending like it didn’t exist or wishing that it would just go away.” I look over to a bulletin board that my dad added in my room once I told him I was going to eventually be writing all this down. “Samples of the virus were likely captured, and sadly, released. Now, once more, it seems like every two to three months, another outbreak has been recorded.” I see the several pins I set in to represent each outbreak. “Some foreign battlefields are even reporting peculiar losses in their ranks… Not from bullets or bombs, mind you, though those do still sadly occur, increasingly and now mainly due to their soldiers simply running and crying back home after the virus had been released upon them in the form of some new weapon. ARSED is still busy and Agent Carlyle seems more stressed than ever… but I guess the majority of the original victims are starting to move on… and even grow again.” I lean back in my chair and stretch, still seeing my nursery décor all around me and the furniture needed to care for my continued needs. “Speaking of which… as for me though, those stories still feel so far off compared to my current life that I’ve been living ever since I dropped into Linfield Building 4. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but even with this recording, I’m having to utilize it instead of typing. I know how to write still, and that’s an absolute blessing… but my fingers are too tiny, uncoordinated, and would tire me easily if I typed this whole thing.” I feel the front of my diaper warm a little, but it doesn’t concern me… especially considering everything else in my life these days. “And I guess that brings me to the main event that I want to discuss next… my Infasia.” I stop briefly to consider just how much I want to talk about. I talked previously about my poopy diapers, breastfeeding… pretty much not holding anything back, but somehow, talking today about all that other stuff with my feeble mind feels so much private. “I guess, though, I should start with the notion that after I breastfed for the first time, my mind was saved… like it was supposed to, but I also lost another two months… or at least that’s what Dr. Smothers, Gina, Dr. Faulkner, and my parents agreed on.” I look in the nearby mirror and see the 20-month-old staring back at me. ‘Any day now… any time to hit 21 months old… Any day to start aging again…’ “So, yes, I had mostly saved myself with mommy’s milk, but I had Infasia, and an AR can only put its effects off for so long.” I sigh and try to recall all the details, but most are pretty fuzzy after that first night feeding. “I’m not sure when I fully slipped under. I know the gaps in my memories started to get longer come October, and by November, I was even losing whole days. It freaked me out, but everyone was only too happy to be ready to offer a hug or a cuddle to calm me down once I realized just what I had lost. By December though, despite everyone’s best efforts, I slipped under… and I didn’t pop out of it until almost 11 months later.” “I’m not fully sure why, but I didn’t spend as long as most ARs my new age do under Infasia long-term, so I had to take solace from that… but everything felt different with my family for a long time and most had to readapt to talking to me like I was an adult again. Christmastime was also pretty interesting… I guess a few relatives still hadn’t heard I popped out and had my old mind back… or accept that I did, but that’s a whole other story.” I grimace slightly at the thoughts of all that happened back then, and I hope silently yet again that I never have to endure another round of my aunt shoving pureed turkey into my mouth again from my highchair. “Still, now, I count every day as a blessing to be back. Definitely some hiccups and Dr. Faulkner thinks I’ll start growing back up any day now, but I’m still here mentally, and something is better than nothing.” I look down at the bulge that I know is my swollen diaper. “Can’t do much about the physical front… but there’s hope now. I bounced and maybe one day, I’ll event start potty training ag…” “Alright, sweetie!” my mommy announces as she bursts through my door. She values my privacy, but today isn’t a day to be late for, and whenever we had other days like that, I knew previously just to put my protests away and let her be as bossy or controlling as she would like. To be blunt, it just saved time and today wouldn’t be the exception to that. “Let’s get you ready for the big day! Probably need a diapy change too, huh?” I lean forward and stop the recording, making a mental edit to edit that last part out. I wanted realism with my story, but I didn’t need everyone listening to hear all the current details about my life… or about my need for a clean diaper. “Yes mommy…” I had never gotten out of the habit, and by now, I just didn’t care anymore as to her title or what I called her. Walking over, her hands speed right to my armpits, and I’m hoisted over to the ever-present changing table. Once I’m there and standing on top of the pad, a little wobble to my stance, her fingers dive down and snake their way into the leg bands of my diaper. “Oh, yes! Definitely in need of a change before we head out. Wouldn’t want to ruin your little outfit, do we?” I shake my head as she proceeds, with or without my consent, to lay me down on the changing table and begin yet another diaper change. By now, it’s just another process in my daily life that I’ve gotten used to. When I first came out of my long-term stint Infasia, I was frazzled and I almost had to describe it like some sci-fi movie when someone awakens from cryo-sleep. I couldn’t control anything… which also included my movements on the changing table. Gratefully, my mommy quickly caught on to the fact that I didn’t like it and worked with everyone she could to ensure I would regain control. Just needing to work on my physical abilities, rather than relearn the skill, thanks to the Infasia, I almost never spasmed or twitched on the table. Still, looking down today, I see my mommy is as careful as ever and has already attached the strap around my chest… just in case. But it proceeds very much as it always does now. I’m wet, my mommy wipes and powders me, and then tapes yet another thick and thirsty diaper around my waist. I no longer care about the cartoons adorning my waistband. People like Miss Bea, mommy, or even my babysitter, Linda, find them adorable and cute and they even play around with me or make silly faces or voices. I used to hate all that, but now… it just breaks up a usually mundane and boring part of my life. Even with all that I had lost, the one thing that I did care about though, was my clothing or at least who or what wasn’t on it. My family had tried to dress me similarly to how I wished for when I wasn’t under Infasia, but I guess after so long, and when your kid or ‘baby brother’ seems to enjoy cartoons and pastel colors on their clothing, you give in eventually. So, when I came back around, Sesame Street characters could have been considered mature. Unlike some of the other characters and patterns adorning my new wardrobe, that show was at least possibly watched by someone not in diapers. Needless to say, I requested a change immediately. “Okay, Pete,” my mom announces, grabbing my attention again. “Which outfit for today?” She held ensembles out. Both were about the same, sporting suspenders, a bowtie, a button-down dress shirt and onesie combination, and some darker color pants. Both are admittedly very basic, but I see the version I want to wear. “That one,” I say confidently, pointing to the combination of dark blue pants, suspenders, and a bow tie with a nice light blue shirt. My mom nods in agreement and that’s that. Secretly though, I vow not to tell her that it’s because of the two, I remember my diaper being less obvious from the rear. Considering where we’re going today, I feel that decision is for the best. Downstairs, I’m deposited into my typical booster seat. Looking over, I still see my old friend, the highchair, apparently being the much-preferred method of feeding me while I was under. In fact, when I came to, I was just coming out of making a complete mess of myself with some mashed potatoes. Sitting down, my bib is still a present reminder of the progress I still had to make on the physical front, but I just felt happy that I was at least in the booster now. “Okay… Reading’s done for the day!” Amanda cheerily announces as she breezes into the kitchen right as my food is set down before me. “When are we leaving for the ceremony?” “Wait ‘til your brother finishes his lunch,” my dad says swiftly, strolling in right behind her. “Lucas just pulled up and your mom is fixing up the diaper bag. Maybe go find something else to…” Amanda nods midway through his sentence and before he can stop her, retreats away. Her thudding footsteps up the stairs announces her likely destination of her room, apparently a place she had been finding increased refuge in just before she turned seven a few months ago. Excited though, I crane my neck to see my brother fiddling with something outside. By and far one of the biggest changes before and after my bout of long-term Infasia was Lucas. When I went under, while it was smaller than the original, he still had a cast on his leg, and he was still going to the doctor for follow-up appointments due to his accident. After waking though, he was the second person I saw, and now, there wasn’t a trace, aside from a few scars, of his accident. In fact, only weeks before he had apparently been late to Thanksgiving dinner after running in the annual Turkey Trot. I still thought he was crazy, but when I found out this time, I was little else but proud. Right as I was wolfing down my last bite of my turkey sandwich, Lucas almost skipped into the room. “Hey everyone!” There’s the usual greeting from the family, but he then turns his attention to me before ruffling my hair. “Hey there, little bro. Miss me? “Lucas,” my dad scolded lightly. Again, even months later, my family was still adjusting to me being back to my old self… at least mentally. “Oh, and look at your brother’s hair…” our mommy sighs and comes over to press it back into shape. I squirm as Lucas looks at me sheepishly. “Oh… shoot. Sorry, Pete. I…” I wave his concerns off. “Think nothing of it, man. I was under for a year and… well, I can’t really blame you all for what happened during that time. Just… don’t do anything weird, okay?” “Oh?” I see the deviousness in my brother’s eyes as he begins to step closer to me. “What kinds of things?” I roll my eyes over his poorly concealed intentions. “You know very well what…” He smirks and is now practically on top of me. “Oh? You mean like… this!” In seconds, his fingers descend to both sides of my tummy and his tickle attack begins. I feel a tiny burst of warmth in my diaper, but my heavy breathing from my obnoxious laughter fills my sensations and the room too much for me to care about something I have no control over and happens multiple times a day without fanfare. ‘Such is life…’ “Lucas…” This time, it’s my mom who uses her tone of warning. Experienced for years with toddler’s tiny bladders, she likely knew very well what happens when we are subjected to tickle attacks. The fresh warmth in my diaper is just one of many possibilities… none of which I think anyone wanted to truly see today. Besides, I didn’t want to dirty up my outfit. This afternoon was too important. With my food done and everyone here, we all pile into the van outside. In the rear, my dad packs the stroller and my mom the diaper bag. It’s all very typical, and maybe I should have been more embarrassed by their additions, especially after my Infasia lapsed, but I know my limitations, and besides where we are going now, most attendees will be no different. Pulling into the garage like so many other times before, the relatively new park comes into everyone’s view. The council was determined for the new design and memorial to be completed by the two- year anniversary of Orange Day, but apparently there was some mix-up in the plumbing for the water feature that had to wait until after winter passed. So, now at the three-year anniversary of Orange Day, we all gather to commemorate the place officially. My seat is uncomfortable, and the speeches are terribly long and boring. I fidget and even Poofin isn’t helping, but my mom is both understanding and receptive to a few cuddles and a nice seat on her lap. So close to her now, I can smell her milk and while a part of me detests it still, looking around, I know it’s likely the one reason I’m the real me and so many others are still under. Like memorializing us as if we had died, the mayor’s speech was long and felt both right and wrong. Wrong, because the several of us affected crowding the town square that actually showed up today made it plain as day that we are not dead. Right though, because in a way, the people we used to be are now long dead. All over the country, everyone is still taking stock three years on, but the one thing everyone can agree on is that we are no longer the same people as before that fateful day. Looking at the crowd, I could just spot several of the people I had come to know on my journey. Near to the fountain, I saw Diane, Jake, Bill, Betty, Harry, and Vivian from Building 2. Having been almost two and half years since I first met them, no one had experienced Infasia of any kind and had been only marginally affected. By far luckiest, most see them and others like them as having been given a second chance at youth. Gratefully each was making the best out of the situation and Diane and Jake had even collaborated recently on an art exhibit downtown about a month ago. It was nice… but strange to see them again. Looking over to the far corner by the actual memorial, I saw those from Building 3. Frankly, seeing them, I still feel mixed as to their fates as compared to mine. Phil, Sammy, and Dylan and the rest like them are all taking advance classes in college now, but each also retains some assemblance of their physical age. Even now at eight years old, Dylan seems unwilling or even unable to part with his stuffy wherever he goes. As if to further emphasize their own changes, Sammy is wearing a backpack with Barney on it… As for those in Building 4 with me, it’s hard to measure our fates against the others. True, only Jeremy, and Harriet had escaped our long-term Infasia bout, but like me, anyone who isn’t currently drooling on themselves or being distracted by pattycake, are also saving their minds for the future. One day, they would be regressed, but mentally with… or at least one day be fully back. Sniffing again, I have to keep my mind precisely off my hungry stomach and one way I knew how to fix it in a hurry. “…and now we dedicate ourselves to coming out of this tragedy. Three years on, we must stay strong as we all recover in our own ways. The consequences of Orange Day may be long-lasting, but the healing process has already begun,” the mayor continues. “With this memorial, I hope we can all look to the future with both hope and renewed strength.” Snipping a ribbon to officially dedicate the memorial, everyone claps and stands up as the mayor finishes his speech. “I now declare this memorial to be official dedicated to the memory of those that lost so much. May their strength in these times stand as a testament to the resilience which we can only wish to ascribe to.” More claps occur, and this time, I stand on my original seat to stop getting so lost in the crowd, and I’m honestly not sure if my cheers are more from the dedication itself or just relief that his speech is now over, and I can move around now. Still, walking around, I always make sure to hold either mommy’s or my dad’s hand. My mind is clear most days now, but I am still small and getting lost is not how I want to spend my afternoon… again. The mall even two months ago was harrowing enough, and frankly, I’m not convinced my mom could survive another scare like that… especially since she later told me that she was worried that I slipped under again and had been taken. Sadly, things like that were now terribly common, ARs even going for a high price now apparently on the black market. “Karen!” Tawnya shouts, waving over to my mommy. Dad nods to her and takes Amanda and Lucas over to check out the memorial first, likely not wanting to overhear gossip about babies or the latest news at the daycare. “How are you?” The two hug and smile warmly at each other. Looking forward at the tot beside her feet, I see Frank. A few years ago, I would be wrestling him into submission on the floor for his involvement with the ’87 terrorist group. Now, with the help of Dr. Smothers and so many others, I let most of that go. I’m still slightly bitter, but as was pointed out to me, I’m not entirely blameless either in my current condition. If I had just stayed inside, my life would be much as it had been. So, armed with that knowledge, not long after I slipped out of Infasia, I went over and forgave Frank to the relief of both my mommy and his. Apparently, I had been going on playdates with him for some time. Now, I just hope he will snap out of his own Infasia instead of how he is these days… for example, currently playing with a beam of sunlight in his hand and giggling to himself over it. Above us, my mommy and Frank’s prattle on for what seems like hours on end. Yeah, she’s his sister, but not many can even tell that difference anymore. Still, my ears perk up at one point in their conversation. “I hear Linfield is thinking of downsizing. Is that true?” My mommy shakes her head. “No. It’s South Creek instead. Budget cuts and a lot of ARs are finally growing back up… like Pete here. Probably only Miss Bea and Agent Carlyle kept our place above water when they reached out as an AR advocate and a representative of the government to the mayor.” Tawanya smiles over the news and then down at me before settling her gaze wistfully down at Frank. “Yeah… I just hope Frank snaps out of this soon. I love this little guy to death, but… I miss my brother…” My mommy wastes no time and quickly hugs her, the two having grown much closer while Frank were on our play dates last year. I don’t think much of it, but I’m just happy when we eventually leave and rejoin Lucas, Amanda, and our dad at the memorial. We all make several comments about its artistic interpretation and overall design, but everyone soon gives me space as Jeremy waddles over. Seeing him come over to me with focused eyes and a wide smile still brings joy to my heart. “What do you think, Pete?” Jeremy asks me plainly, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he gazes back at the polished stone surface. “I like the images,” I reply. “Makes it more… personal.” On the three main front walls of black marble slabs, there are several quotes from AR leaders and politicians about things like ‘rising from the ashes.’ Above though, there are several sand-blasted images of many local ARs affected by ARV and some of the first responders and military that were here that day. On the rear, a separate memorial exhibits carers and their contribution to everything and for our safety and care. Jeremy nods but then grimaces slightly. “You see they chose Ian though?” I sigh and nod. “Yeah… Miss Bea told me. Can’t say I’m a fan, but… look at him.” I gesture over to the small individual in Polly’s arms. Definitely still under, she even maneuvers his arms and points out his picture on the wall with funny and expressive faces. Like Tawnya, I know she misses her brother terribly, but everyone at group meetings on Wednesdays are all proud of her for how she’s stepped up in a big way in local politics. In fact, she was one of the main advocates for a memorial to come here in the first place. Regardless, the event begins to come to a close. I know I need a change and seeing Molly snapping photos of the crowd begin to put me off a little. Interestingly enough, she got whacked by a strain of ARV when she went to Africa for one of her photo shoots. Only regressed to her teens, but she had effectively been grounded since, now relying on local events like when I first met her. Still, she wasn’t my favorite person still, so tugging on my mommy’s pant leg, she got the hint, and we all reload back into the car. The day continues as usual for a Sunday and after a nice meal, I begin to feel sleepy far earlier than I would have normally ever used to care for. Nowadays, it’s just more routine. I don’t like how I have to say goodbye to Lucas early, but he just promises me to come over on Friday as promised to pick me up for a baseball game after he gets off work. It could be thought of as just a ‘guys’ night, but to me, it was my brother ensuring I was happy and still felt like an adult whenever I could. True, diapers and the knowledge that we would likely have to leave early from my sleepiness wasn’t ideal, but he was still there for me, and that’s what counts. Speaking of siblings, as I start my nightly routine, Amanda insists on reading me a story… again. I love when mommy does it, but Amanda’s excitement is infectious and setting my pride aside, despite me not reading to her, I feel I can still be a helpful brother to her when I can. In this case, for her to practice her reading skills. “Alright, let’s see… diaper change… brush your teeth? Wash your face and hands?” my mom asks as I begin to walk over to Amanda’s room. She liked it best when I cuddled with her as we read, and honestly, I couldn’t blame her. Poofin always joined as well, and our little trio was always a good time and a great way to end the day. “Yes, mommy…” I wiggle around in my jammies, eager to hear the story before I fall asleep. My tiny body’s sleeping needs still aren’t great, so I know time is of the essence. I probably look even more like a toddler doing that, but I don’t care. “Alright… go to your sister, sweetie.” She smiles down at me and guides me over to Amanda’s room before stopping me at the entrance. “I’ll check on you in a bit and we can do a feed before you go down for the night.” I eagerly nod, both from the slight haze it puts me in but also knowing that it still serves a bolster to my mind later to keep it from snapping back. Neither of us were sure if that was a possibility, but both of us agreed it wasn’t worth it to the risk either. “And just two books, you two,” she commands to both my sister and I. Already snuggling into her pillows and sheets, Amanda quickly nods her head. “Yes mommy!” She then pats the bed right next to her. “Come on, Petey! Hop on up!” With all her growing, I sometimes forget that she’s still only seven years old and can be a little forgetful at times. So, having encountered this problem before, I now turn back to mommy to give her a hint of what is needed. Nodding, mommy lifts me up to the bed and I crawl over to Amanda before mommy gives me Poofin and then leaves us alone. Smiling from ear to ear, Amanda pulls out five books, likely as an attempt to test our mommy on how many she could get away with. Knowing she did the voices and even acted the scenes out with her hands whenever possible, I gave serious doubt to getting away with more than two tonight, but I know we are both more than willing to task the gamble. Opening the first book, my eyes are immediately drawn to the colorful images and even fancy cursive gold writing. “The Goose and the Giant,” she begins, turning the page beyond the dedication as I snuggle in closer with Poofin wrapped snugly under my arms for support… just in case the book got too scary. Again, my mind was fine… just not always and in particular right before bed. ‘So, why take the chance without one of my closest protectors?’ “Up on cloud so high that it felt the sun a good minute before everyone else down on the ground, there lived a giant.” Picking up on mommy’s habits from when she was the storyteller, Amanda’s voice was expressive and part of me wonders if she’s almost memorized this book by now. The dents on the sides of the book and some bends in the pages tell me it is well-loved if nothing else. But all that doesn’t matter. Right then, it’s just me and my sister… now practically having switched roles from the ones we had three years ago. It was apparently even more pronounced when I was under, so, whenever we ready now, my mind liked to drift off and think about it all. Maybe it was me getting sleepy, or reading stories was now a trigger for me, but whatever the reason, I once again took stock of my life. Looking around the room, I saw ever dwindling traces of the four-year-old sister I had once known. Like so many others in my life, she is now moving on and progressing like every kid should do in life. In only a couple of months, she will graduate from first grade, while I still linger in diapers and cribs. She would progress through the numbers and letters and bits of grammar and even science and health all without issue. She is smart and maybe it was my bias, but I feel like she could do anything she put her mind to… unlike me. Since Orange Day three years ago, my life had become a series of concessions and drawbacks for each age I hit. Post puberty, each regression felt more like losing than a neutral loss and gain. For example, I lost the ability to drive, but I also lost the scar from a soccer game I had no business participating in back when I was in High School. Post puberty, I would lose everything that made me who I was and only gain the ability to do something like eating off the kid’s menu. It was something, but it wasn’t enough. The world is now a further dangerous place from an unstable and untamed virus. Millions are now in diapers or having to relearn skills they had learned decades ago. Even those not dipping into diapers, like Phile, Sammy, and Dylan showed, many still weren’t leaving the realm of ARV without a bunch of baggage and fallout from their stint with the virus. In other words, consequences. Every day, I saw the consequences of what people like Frank did. The ’87 group changed everything and the world is now all fighting back against a common enemy as the virus spreads more every day now, each new dictator or terrorist group abroad wanting to get their hands on the new super weapon. And I guess in a more untied world, in an awful way, there lies the silver lining to all this. Admittedly, I had to search for a long time for it, but while the consequences could be denied as being strictly bad all the time, I never could find a positive… at least until I looked deeper into my life and everyone else’s who had been affected enough. Second chances are often misunderstood and even more common to be squandered. For us ARs, it was a double-edged sword, ready to prove us ARs as the vulnerable children or babies everyone saw us as or, with a little luck, actually work in our favor. So, when I began to look for a silver lining of my own, I admittedly hit a few dead ends. Now though, I feel confident enough in admitting what I found… That ARV in my life isn’t wholly terrible. True, it can be devastating on so many levels, but as I embrace my sister and Poofin further as she gets to the part of the book where the giant threatens to eat a small man to protect his goose, I’ve got to admit that I had never been this close to Amanda before. True, my ‘younger’ sister now seemed like my protector and things weren’t the same, but Amanda was protective and helpful to me in ways I never was to her, being off at college for most of her younger years. My other family members were also close, my mom absolutely coming to mind with all that she did for me and how much our bond had restrengthened in the midst of the virus, but all that could be expected when you rely on them for almost everything in your life. What I didn’t expect though, was my thoughts regarding Molly… or at least what ARV did for me with our relationship. I had wanted marriage, kids… the works, and Molly did too, but for her, her career came first. I admired her for that, but with her increased travel back then, it was like building a foundation on shifting sands. Eventually, it might have worked, but like a weed whacker clearing away all the underbrush, ARV forced our hand and showed we didn’t have what it would take to go the distance. Others, like Carl and Harriet, experienced the same loss, but they had found it in themselves to stick together. It raised all sorts of questions for their future and what it meant, but they withstood the trials and tribulations of life. Molly and I didn’t. So, as Amanda flips the page once more, more at peace with everything going on. Unfortunately, I now also feel the impending sleep already beginning to flutter into my increasingly heavy eyelids. It’s a tiny frustration that I couldn’t stay up how late I wanted anymore, but the embrace, love, and care of my sister fills that disappointment nicely. True, I am living proof of the consequences of Orange Day all nestling in with my diapers, stuffy, and being read to by my ‘younger’ sister, but I know one thing with increasing clarity... Now that I had bounced and could only look forward to growing once more in life, surrounded by friends and family who cared, I had a great one to live, and at the end of the day, that’s all that really mattered.

All valid assumptions and partially true, but to re-emphasize something I noted briefly in the beginning... the virus heavily mutated once outside the lab and in transport. It was originally just supposed to be the flu or something ccontagious like that, but nature has a way of changing things when one isn't paying attention... particularly with a terrorist group. Also, I'm trying to keep it a little murky, because I feel that while the government might inform the public about hazardous health items, I think they would definitely keep quiet about some virus they had stored in a lab somewhere that was then stole and affected millions. For those interested though, I have another story in the mix that follows a member of the '87 group and it will go more in depth about all that then. For the moment... just know that the government wasn't directly experimenting with ARV (but that's also not discounting them playing around with it now). Hope that helps.

It is a great twist and I was thinking of it and then writing it, I could see the temptation of the possibilities, but I felt it could divert attention away from the rest of the plot at this point. Also, while I was plotting out this story and coming up with other ideas for possible future installments of ARV/the mist, this scenario popped into my head. So, it's definitely not a lost plot line... just not for this story.

Hey everyone! Welcome to the penultimate chapter of this story. Firstly, I just want to give a massive thank you to you all for your patience and support in these last two chapters. Last week just hit a bit too hard for me to feel comfortable releasing this chapter, and knowing you all would be there to pick up whenever the next chapter was posted, was a relief I didn’t know I needed. Fortunately, this weekend raised my spirits a bit and I was able to hash out this chapter and a little of the next one. That being said, I have a con this weekend and being the crafty person I am, I decided to build myself a pip boy. I am slightly regretting that decision, but I know it will be worth it in the end. With that time commitment though, I don’t want to overpromise, so the final chapter will be posted on Thursday. I probably could get it up by Wednesday, but I don’t want to rush it too much and end up crashing through the final bits of this story. So, with the upcoming end just around the corner, as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. This is definitely important, because as of this story, there is almost a three-way tie. It’s great to see so much enthusiasm for what lies ahead for any of the three, but ties also get tricky when one is choosing the next story. As such, just in case, story options can be found back in chapter 2 and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapters 2, 13, or 23. BUT THIS IS IT! With the final chapter coming next, that is when I will be posting which story will be chosen. Aka, if you want a say in my next story… GO TO THE POLL AND VOTE! Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 25: Please, Anything But This “Damn it, no. No, no, no!” I yelled as Miss Bea set me down in the quiet room and I began to pace back and forth all the while trying to convince me to ease up on Frank. “I can’t just forgive him. I mean, look at me!” I stomped on the ground, but it did little to affect my diminutive form. The ’87 terrorist group had caused all the worst parts of my life in the past year and a half, and now… I had a confirmed member in my sights… ‘And I now just had to forgive him? No!’ “Pete, please… try to calm down,” Miss Bea said in an attempt to somehow calm me down. She even tried to hug me or even pat my shoulder, but I recoiled in disgust. “How can I calm down? That odorous piece of filth is responsible for everything! I want… I want…” I wanted the worst of fates to befall Frank, but I just couldn’t get myself to say it. Maybe it was some lingering form on my conscience or maybe it was the presence of Miss Bea, but I kept hitting a wall every time I tried to say anything malicious as to the fate I wanted for my now former friend. She sighed and sat down in the ever-present rocking chair in here. I still questioned the whole purpose of this room, especially seeing things like pads, supports, and a whole other shelving container of supplies I didn’t even recognize. “I understand how you’re feeling, Pete. I do, but…” “You do?” I questioned her skeptically. “How can you? You’re an adult still! You don’t mess your diapers without control! You don’t nearly get trampled in crowds anymore! You can still drive and drink and eat anything you want, and you don’t sleep in a crib! You…” As my mind began to unspool and try to piece everything together to further support my argument, I realized one thing that should have been obvious to me from the start. She was an adult. Obvious really, but the full scope of what that meant suddenly dawned on me. See, adults here meant they had all the perks of being an adult on the outside, but it also meant they knew each of us, and in ways that would make any sane individual blush. They cared for us, but they also knew almost every little detail about us as well. Meds, allergies, personality types, the freckle on your butt in the shape of a watermelon seed… they knew it all. So, with that realization, and glaring now at Miss Bea, I had to know if she knew about Frank. “Hold on… did you know about him? About his previous involvement with the ’87 group?” Her eyes momentarily dropped down to the floor in shame. She knew and my heart sank. “Oh my god! You did know!” Still, no response from her. “How could you keep something like that from any of us? He’s dangerous! He’s a terrorist! He’s…!” “I didn’t know!” she shot back, looking a little hurt by my scornful words in the process. “I… I suspected something, but I didn’t know fully… I just kind of assumed… especially from his file.” She wasn’t helping her case, but I needed to know more, so I almost cartoonishly cocked an eyebrow up in her direction. She sighed again and leaned forward in the rocking chair. “We get all your files from Building 3, 2, or even in the rarer cases these days, directly from admin when an AR bypasses all the other buildings from their first day here. I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but I’ll take the risk… especially considering it’s all about to come out into the open anyways…” She paused and scratched the back of her neck briefly and I could see her hesitation about revealing all this still. That didn’t stop her though. “See, your files contain a lot of information about you all. Preferences in foods or treatments, mentalities, physical abilities… things we need to know,” she explained. “Some files we get here though are flagged.” I raised my eyebrow again and stepped closer to her. “Right… well, a file getting flagged could mean a lot of things… the AR could have been a celebrity, a protected witness, a criminal, or an elected official of some kind. In other words, someone that could be recognized. So… we’re told not to ask questions about them… so, I didn’t.” “But you should be asking questions! What if they were an axe murderer?” I pointed out angrily. “That type of crud just doesn’t go away! Aren’t you at all concerned about your safety with something like that? Don’t you want to know?” I knew if I was in her position with that possibility, I would want to know. ‘I mean… how could you not?’ To my surprise and little disbelief though, she shook her head. “Not really, but even if I did, we attendants here are paid for both our caregiving abilities and our discretion. Anyone who walks through our doors gets the same level of protection… no matter what.” She paused and then teetered her hand back and forth a little. “Of course, with people like Butch or Ian who brag about their former lives, that eliminates some of the secrecy, but for others… we don’t reveal their pasts. No exceptions…” “Well, maybe you should change that policy…” I could see her point a little, but I was still bitter about the whole situation really. “I mean, what about the rest of us?” Miss Bea shook her head. “Universal policy. No exceptions.” Her eyes then narrowed, and she scooted forward on the rocking chair. “For example… Molly came in here just last month asking about you.” Hearing that the ex who had dumped me had come looking for me was not on my top list of things to expect today, but I was still intrigued. Good or bad, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was now regretting leaving me… or if it was more of a scenario that she only wanted to justify her previous actions for leaving me. Either way, I wanted to know more. “She did?” Miss Bea nodded. “She apparently found out you were going here just based on geography and process of elimination apparently, but yes… she came here. Of course, as soon as she did, Mr. Collins, Principal Warton, and I all pushed her away and vowed to keep her off the premises for your protection. You were in the midst of a bout of Infasia that day, but even if you weren’t, someone like her doesn’t need to know the details of your new life… at least not coming from us.” She paused and clasped her hands together on her lap. “Universal policy, Pete. We protect everyone here equally… even sometimes when you don’t know about it. You may not like it for Frank, but we don’t make exceptions.” Frank felt different, but Miss Bea didn’t seem to be wrong either. I wanted her to be with all my might, but I just couldn’t get past her logic. For her, we were all ARs and our past probably didn’t matter. I felt differently than she did, but I could at least respect her opinion. “Okay… fine. I get that, but seriously… what do you think of Frank as a terrorist and a rat? I mean, you can’t be okay with that, right?” Miss Bea shook her head. “I see that you’re finding it hard to get over Frank’s past. I can’t blame you there, but as an attendant here, I don’t think of anyone’s past. All ARs deserve a second chance, especially in Building 4 here.” She paused and looked at me closely. “True… maybe now that I know his past, I might keep an eye on him, but two things you should remember, when it comes to Frank, Pete. First off, he’s not in the criminal facility, so he can’t be completely horrible, but second and even more importantly, all that is slowly not mattering anymore. Soon, Frank’s mind will likely slip completely into Infasia, and his past self will no longer be truly relevant.” Maybe she was just placating me, but her wording helped ease my mind at least for a second. Still, I felt like she had given me the company line… not a personal answer. “Okay… good point, but seriously… what do you th…?” “Sorry for taking so long,” Agent Carlyle said, bursting through the door, right as I was asking my question. “I got here as soon as I heard.” “Thank you, Agent Carlyle,” Miss Bea warmly greeted the ARSED agent, even getting up out of her chair to shake his hand. “I wasn’t just explaining things from my perspective about Frank…” She briefly looked at me before looking back at him. “So, I think this is the point where you step in now.” “Yes, yes. Very good,” he commended. I was half expecting to see fear shrouding his entire face, but instead, I just saw his usual outwardly relaxed demeanor. In the few times I had seen him since the initial interview for follow-ups or just general questions and concerns by me or my family, I had taken it as comfort in my otherwise chaotic life. Today, it irked me a little bit that he could be so calm about Frank’s past. “So, Pete… I guess we should begin then…” I remained silent, trying to be as patient as possible to hear some kind of justified reaction. I wasn’t exactly holding my breath though. Crouching over to pull a chair up, Agent Carlyle soon took a seat, though looking a little comical as it was actually geared to someone under eight at best. He looked a little uncomfortable but still determined. “Now… yes, Pete. We at ARSED knew about Frank. In fact, as you may know, we fall under the purview of the Department of Homeland Security. It’s a little complicated, but basically, we received several of their files in the beginning to help our job out in which ARs to watch out for. Frank, however, wasn’t one of the very bad ones.” “He wasn’t?” I wasn’t sure why DHS would have his file otherwise, but I leaned in closer to Agent Carlyle to find out. Agent Carlyle shook his head. “No. In fact, DHS got him to work against the ’87 terrorist group initially. Still was going to be punished for some of his crimes, but through his efforts… DHS was able to apprehend dozens of members after Orange Day.” It sounded good, but I saw one flaw. “So, now he just gets a free pass?” I had realized that he had said Frank ‘initially’ did all that for a lighter sentence. Now, I wondered if ARV had changed any of that. Agent Carlyle winced. “Well… I can’t go into specifics about Frank. I need to let him tell you all that on his own terms, but I can see a determined spirit when I see one. You want justice, right?” I needed no time to contemplate my answer and quickly nodded my head. “Well, then I’ll let you know this. I’m not supposed to tell you, but the rest of the members of the terrorist group are now imprisoned, or since most were caught in the mists on Orange Day, in either the newborn or criminal buildings for ARs. I’m sure you’re familiar with those places.” I nodded. “Very.” Agent Carlyle smirked. “I thought as much, but now you know that they didn’t get off completely clean. We monitor all of them… including Frank.” He then paused and dusted something off his pants leg just below his knee. “But hear me out… you should hear Frank’s side to all this… or at least hear him out before you judge him anymore harshly.” It was a tough ask, and I could see the uncertainty in Agent Carlyle’s face that I would even accept his suggestion, but remembering Miss Bea’s words earlier, I knew I had to at least give him a chance to explain himself. Everyone here was different than they used to be and as an AR, Frank deserved a second chance. So, begrudgingly, I nodded. “Fine… but in exchange, I want to know what those other buildings everyone keeps mentioning actually entail.” If I was going to use them as a benchmark for the type of person Frank wasn’t, I wanted to at least know what I was comparing him to. Besides, it had been eating at me for months now. The look of relief that washed over Miss Bea’s and Agent’s Carlyle’s faces was immediate. I could even hear a little sigh escape his lips. “Thank you, Pete, and I can let you know. It’s not a state secret or anything. Just more of the thing that no one wants to talk about out of fear or maybe even pain.” He then shifted uncomfortably again on the tiny seat. “These buildings’ main purpose is to specialize in the rehabilitation or even long-term care of specific individuals with ARV. For instance, those at the newborn level have shown little or no growth since they bounced.” He then breathed wearily, and I could see the pain in his eyes. “Sadly, at this juncture, it’s possible that they may have regressed to the point of youth for decades at this point and will be the last to age out… or they may never.” It was a cold truth that went right up my spine. I morbidly wanted to know more… at least maybe for my own sake if nothing else. “Wait… but I thought that it was reported that no one was ‘stuck’ in their final ages?” Agent Carlyle slowly nodded. “Well, yes. I guess to a certain extent, the newborns are growing. We can measure their ages in their bodies, and we see growth… just on a severely reduce level. For now, for the ‘true’ newborns, we estimate their growth rate has been reduced to maybe 20 to 30 times slower than typical. And yes, we told the media that no one was ‘stuck.’ It’s true technically, but I will admit that one could argue we lied about the newborns. That being said, newborns are the rarest form of ARs. We estimate that nationally, they compromise maybe a thousand cases. Of the millions affected, we don’t want to incite a panic in others, and besides, newborns are becoming even more rare with new cases, and we handle those regardless individually due to all the factors that are involved.” It was a lot to process, but I was still curious about the comparison of Frank to the detention building… and maybe a little curiosity to know what Butch was now going through. “And the detention building? What does that entail?” “I thought you might be curious about that one,” he said with the tiniest glimpse of a smile. “These buildings are there to facilitate the growth of ARs involved in order to become better people than they were before the virus. That being said, each AR is assessed at intake to determine if their problems root more from genetic or physiological factors, or simply one of their environment.” “Environment?” I tried to recall my biology lessons from college, but a lot of things were still fuzzy from my previous freak out about the revelation of Frank’s ’87 involvement. Agent Carlyle nodded. “Yes. Essentially a nature versus nurture situation. For example, Ian.” I wasn’t expecting to hear his name in all this, but I was definitely intrigued. “He was raised properly in his youth and had negligible physical or genetic factors, but he got roped into the wrong crowd during his time as a fighter and that led him down a very dangerous path. So, if he wound up at the detention building, we would classify him as a product of environment and provide specialized instructions to prevent a repeat of his former activities.” “Lastly though,” he continued, “if say, for example, someone like Hannibal Lecter came down with ARV, he would be sent to the detention building right away and be provided with a safe environment, but rehabilitation would likely not be pursued later after their Infasia lapsed. See, Pete, with the detention building, it serves to keep both the ARs safe, but the public as well. If we can help, though, we will.” It all made sense to me, and I could tell that ARSED had thought everything out very precisely. Becoming young again was terrible in many ways, but as many ARs were finding out, it could at least one day present them with a second chance at life. It was a long way off for any of us ARs in Building 4 but now armed with the knowledge of at least who Frank wasn’t, I felt finally ready to hear him out. Still, seeing him again was a little difficult. Sure, his diaper bulged out and he had proved multiple times that he needed them by now. His romper was full of smiling and playful dalmatians today and bulged prominently around his diaper and the increased amount of baby fat. A pacifier was also attached and just behind him was his own stuffy… both needed now as well. Anyone could have been enraptured by his youthful and innocent appearance, but my bitter taste of Frank the terrorist lingered even through all that. It was hard to shake off, but I had promised, so, I was going to at least listen to what he had to say. “Heya, Pete…” he opened to me sheepishly, almost entirely avoiding my gaze. I didn’t reciprocate and I could sense him crumble a little bit further under the silence. “Uh… I guess you wanna know… ‘bout…” “Your involvement with the terrorist group ’87. Yes, Frank, I want to know.” My words were sharp and to the point and I could see that a crowd had gathered and now suddenly snapped to attention about as best they could. I suspected that over half were in the midst of Infasia, but I also wondered if maybe somehow, even through that, they were understanding what was happening right now with Frank and me. “Pete…” Miss Bea was close behind me with Agent Carlyle right next to her. Her words were gentle, but I knew her tone anywhere. I sighed. “Right… please tell me about your involvement with the terrorist group ’87.” I knew Miss Bea wanted me to mince my words a little better to ease all this more with Frank, but I just heard her sigh. And after that, no further action was taken on her part. For his part, Frank seemed to quake under mine and nearly every other AR’s gaze in the daycare today. Whether we were all conscious of it or not, we wanted answers. I now knew that the other terrorists were either confined to the newborn wing to last possibly decades there, or were being reeducated at the different detention buildings, but Frank was here in this moment. Even if they were small, I felt strongly that he could provide the answers that had been asked since all this had started. “I… I… I’m sorry,” he finally managed to choke out. I could see it was hard for him, and I wanted to have sympathy, but my already damp diaper was just one of the many hard things to simply put out of my mind on my path to truly forgiving him. “I… I wanted to belong to someone… anyone, and I joined with them because we felt the same about some things.” He winced slightly, likely already having regretted his choice in joining their group for such simplistic reasons… and the outcome it eventually led to. “We… we felt that corruption in the government was runnin’ rampant. We just wanted them to have more transparency… less secrecy,” he confessed. “We jus’ wanted our leaders to adhere to what our founding fathers wanted initially…” They were good reasons, but everyone wanted them… and they didn’t set off chemical bonds that affected millions of people. Plus, in a twist of irony for them, their plot had only increased the government’s involvement in everyone’s lives. ARSED had been founded, and from what I had been hearing from Agent Carlyle lately, there were even more secrets now in the interest of ‘protecting the public.’ Frank winced and even looked like he was about to falter, pausing for nearly a minute. Likely sensing the restless crowd of regressed ARs before him, Agent Carlyle spoke up. “Go on, Frank. Tell them what happened next.” Frank nodded with a seeming smidge of increased confidence. “Yeah… well, we jus’ started off as a political action group. Moved out west to cut down on costs, an’ it was all great, but then… one of the founders was arrested. Stupid thing really, but… a lot of members took it wrong… and started to become violent. Our numbers grew overnight it seemed an’ we started doing more jobs to fight back…” For the first time, I could see a scrape of pain etched into Frank’s face. “I… I panicked after the group defaced the local town hall. They weren’t the same guys I was friends with… they were different, and… I got scared.” It was hard to see where the line of scared adult Frank versus scared AR Frank began and ended, but his fear was definitely present. “Tell them what happened next, Frank,” Agent Carlyle chimed in again. “It’s important.” Everyone leaned in closer to better hear of what he was talking about. Frank nodded. “Yeah, well… I turned myself in to the local authorities. DHS got involved and right as I was contacted, I found out the group felt they were goin’ in circles… and decided to steal a chemical bomb to hit a larger target.” With Agent Carlyle involved, I knew Frank had to have done something to be connected with him. I naturally assumed it was just because he was a member of the very group that caused everyone in this daycare to be here in the first place, but then I remembered what Miss Bea had noted about a flagged file. One of the options he had listed was a protected witness… Frank was that witness. “They thanked me and started to put a plan together as our group grew, but I guess it was too late or maybe not enough information… I’m not sure, buh’ wha’ I gave ‘em helped…” I could hear him start to slip a little bit earlier, but maybe it was the stress of it all or just his natural progression, but Frank started to stumble heavily over his words. For every three he got right, five more were wrong in some way. “Da miwitawy goh’ weady an… an…” At that point, it became clear to anyone who could actually comprehend Frank that he was quickly slipping into another bout of Infasia. He whimpered for a moment and when he couldn’t even pronounce ‘ready,’ he looked pleadingly back to Agent Carlyle. Seconds later, Agent Carlyle and Miss Josie came forward. As Frank was pulled away to be comforted, Agent Carlyle finished Frank’s explanation, clearly having been clued into all the details. “Frank’s information was invaluable, but local politics combined with concerns over validity from a small-time group led to delays. Unfortunately, they acted fast and stole the chemicals the day before what we now call Orange Day.” I could hear a few groans from the crowd, but Agent Carlyle was quick enough to ensure they didn’t get out of hand. “What Frank and four others did tell us though, allowed our military to be ready with gas masks and mobilization across the country for when the mist was set off. Agencies couldn’t stop the mist from going off completely, but it’s estimated that at least ten bombs were prevented, and due to our quick efforts to enforce Martial Law, millions were likely saved from the chemical agents that led to the strain of virus, ARV.” Most around me, at least the ones not drooling, smiling lackadaisically, or staring back at me while a fetid odor arose from their pants… if they were wearing any, seemed to nod in acceptance and understanding. For them, it seemed at least, that Frank was maybe a bad guy, but not the worst… or at least not the worst to be shunned away from them. I imagined a few might have some strong words, but I felt they now saw him as Frank the AR and not Frank the terrorist. I, however, could not see past that. “That’s it?” I questioned once it became obvious that the little show was over. “That’s all we get? What about why they decided to go all chemical on us? What about why they chose that chemical in the first place, huh? Why didn’t you talk about the real effect they wanted to inflict on everyone? I don’t think everyone would be so forgiving if they found that one out!” “Pete, please…” Miss Bea tried to come up to me and place a calming hand on my shoulder, but I wasn’t having any of that today. “No!” I shoved her hand away and she seemed surprised. I didn’t want to hurt her, not that I really could with my diminished size and strength, but I think my refusal of her aid hurt her heart a little bit. Still, I didn’t want to be just shoved aside like I was really a baby having a tantrum… even if that was exactly what was happening. “Don’t dismiss me! This is big! Everyone needs to hear about this! The news! The rest of the government! Conspiracy! Corruption!” “Pete!” This time it was Agent Carlyle. He was a little more forceful, but I could still see gentleness in his eyes. Despite that though, he still seemed to want to quiet me. “Please… calm down. Maybe we can talk about this more…” “No! I want to get this talked about now! I’m not moving from this here spot until I get an answer!” I felt my own words digging me further into a hole, but I couldn’t stop. I felt rabid. I felt a burning heat all over that couldn’t be flushed away by some simple words or common soothing gestures. I wanted justice. I wanted revenge. “Pete, please…” Miss Josie was starting to rock and slightly bounce Frank in her arms. His previous distress was mounting and my words and actions directed at him, whether he was fully conscious of it or not, had a corresponding negative effect on his emotions. Tears began welling in his eyes and I could just make out a faint whimper as Miss Josie tried to shush him gently. Now, I was taught to forgive others. Maybe not necessarily forget but certainly forgive. It had been engrained into me for as long as I could remember. No doubt, my dad and definitely my mom would be lecturing me right about then on the perils and pitfalls of the vengeance I was seeking against Frank. I might have felt guilty, apologized, and then that would be that. But as I looked around the room, I was flooded by reminders that we were all far beyond just a simple apology. Sure, if he had ripped Poofin, I would be devastated and possibly even fight Frank for the damage to my beloved friend, but this was different. This was something on a national scale, and if news report were to be believed, international scale now as well. All that stemmed from a bunch of people who took their desires too far and made every else suffer for it. Maybe the good person in me should have forgiven him regardless, but the irrational and maybe even slightly regressed mind couldn’t do that. “Pete… easy…” Agent Carlyle seemed to be taking a different approach now, one that I had seem him use before, but not on me. “Just try and take some deep breaths. I promise… we can talk about all this in another room. Right now, we need to calm you down before…” “Don’ dismiss me!” Part of me wanted to take in his words and just drop all this, but that part of me felt like it was somehow a prisoner in my own mind and the jailer was the vindictive type and now had the wheel. “He’s a terrorist! I wanna hurt him like he hurt all of us! I wanna make him pay wike the cwiminal he is. I…” I froze in horror at my words. I didn’t mean to say them, and I didn’t feel any of the usual signs of Infasia. I could feel a little sliver of icy fear enter my heart. Everyone around me stopped what they were doing and looked back at me and then back towards each other with a knowing but concerned look. It didn’t help the fear now creeping all over my body. “Pete… did you…?” Miss Bea slowly walked up to me and crouched down before looking at me directly in the eyes. “Okay, Pete… I want you to say something simple. Take a deep breath and try not to think about it too hard.” I nodded, still furious but more scared now than anything. With my mind spinning, I tried something simple as Miss Bea requested. “I wan’ to tawk ‘bout Fwank an’ wha’ you awe gonna do ‘bout him…” It wasn’t the worse I had heard around here, but slurred speech wasn’t something common for me… at least not while I was conscious. Miss Bea held a brave smile, but I could see the deep level of concern in her eyes and hear it in her tone of voice as she looked back toward Agent Carlyle. “Do you think…?” Agent Carlyle sighed but nodded. “I do… we need to get him isolated and calmed down as soon as possible. Back to the quiet room. Hurry!” Miss Bea nodded promptly and grabbed a hold of me before hoisting me into the air and then rushing out of the main daycare and to the hallway that we had just come from. Leaving the room, I could already here a lot of questions… one of them was about the worst thing I could have heard in the circumstances. “Is Petey bweakin’?” I should have considered it and with the amount of stress I was feeling about Frank and the fact that I still felt that he got off relatively easily for all that he had been involved with, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised at the comment. Still, it was one thing to be a theory and a completely different matter altogether when it was happening to yourself. I quickly thought back to all the ones I had seen breaking down in my time here at Linfield… none of them boded well for me. Almost immediately once I had that realization, my breathing began to pick up. Short and rapid, making me feel fuzzy all over. I could feel a pain in my chest and a quickly enveloping cloudiness over my entire mind. It was almost like someone was stuffing cotton wading in between my brain lobes and I’m not too proud to admit that it scared me something awful. “Miss… Bea! I’m… I’m…” It was exhausting to even get a few words out. “I’m bweakin’, Miss Bea!” “It’s okay, Pete! Deep breaths. Come on! Deep breaths for me!” I tried at least three or four times, but each was just interrupted by a cascade of more panic and more frustration… which just made the problem worse. “Hang in there, Pete! Don’t you quit on me now!” I could hear the panic rising in her voice as we finally entered the quiet room. It lived up to its name and that helped, but it still wasn’t enough. So, like she had done all this before, Miss Bea hurried over to the rocking chair and sat down. “Okay, Pete. You just focus on breathing. I’m going to try everything I know of to get you to calm down. We need to get ahead of this, or…” She didn’t finish her thought, but I knew where she was going with it. “Yeth, Miss Bea!” I wailed, desperately trying to calm down my breathing. Despite all my efforts though, I was barely making a dent in slowing anything. For her part, even when she tried to play calming music, diffusing calming scents into the air, and began to rub my back, all had only just begun to calm me down. Horrifyingly, I could still feel my mind begin to darken. Right about the same time all that was going on, the door opened and I could see from my position over Miss Bea’s lap that it was Agent Carlyle. “Anything?” Facing mostly down, I couldn’t see Miss Bea, except her legs, but I heard her respond mournfully. “Nothing. I’ve tried just about everything. All that’s left are a warm bath or drugs.” I could hear her hesitation, especially in even suggesting drugs, and maybe that was why Agent Carlyle sighed before plucking his phone out. “I was worried this might happen. Frank saved a lot of people, but he was still involved, and I knew that some ARs might still have a problem with him… especially Pete in his investigation.” “So, do you have a solution?” I could hear the hope in Miss Bea’s voice, but I wondered if it was about to be only proven false. Agent Carlyle sighed again, but I heard the word that kept at least a little hope alive. “Maybe…” He quickly started dialing before holding the phone up to his ear. “So, there is something that could help Pete out now?” Again, I could hear Miss Bea’s hope; this time even stronger than before. “It’s not a guarantee. I don’t want Pete to suffer and I’m sure she would be more than willing to help in this case. In truth, a Code Indigo is called for both the revelation of an undercover asset… but also the reaction of others that might follow.” He then held up his pointer finger. “Yes? Hello?” He paused. “Yes… in fact, that’s why I’m calling. We need you to come in straight away… white protocol…” For the next ten minutes, my mind swirled with the possibilities, but even that was becoming difficult. I could almost imagine my mind as a city of lights. Infasia felt like the dimming of them slowly over time, but never fully put out, or if they were, they could always be turned on later. Terrifyingly, this felt more like the lights were blowing out and shattering to never turn on again. I just hoped I was wrong. “She’s here…” Agent Carlyle looked up from his phone and we all waited with bated breath to see who my savior was going to be. Everything was blurring but the possibilities seemed endless. A secret agent infused with special chemicals? A doctor with a hidden formula that only specialized operatives were supposed to receive? I waited and wondered… until the door opened. “Hello, sweetie,” my mom said tenderly as she entered the room. “Karen is your plan?” Miss Bea questioned with a clear tone of skepticism. “Is she… I don’t know… like some secret agent?” Both my mom and Agent Carlyle laughed briefly. “Oh goodness no” “She’s just critical to the implementation of white protocol. Others are involved as well, but for Pete… I think we’ll all agree that his mom is best for this task.” His words were clear, but their meaning was completely lost on me. “Pwease agen’ cawyle…” I hated my new speech, and I desperately hoped it would go away after whatever the heck ‘white protocol’ was. “Why’s my mom…eee here?” I cringed at the near compulsion of saying that word, but gratefully, no one said anything, and Miss Bea just set me on the ground and stood up, leaving the rocking chair empty. “Well, Pete… to put it simply, our research has shown that ARs can achieve a level of stability in their regression… even in the midst of a breakdown if they are introduced to certain chemicals.” I could feel a surge of hope throughout my whole body. I didn’t care which ones or even they were bubbling green and could eat through wood. If they worked, I would swallow them in one go… but Agent Carlyle still seemed hesitant and that gave me pause. “More specifically…” he continued, “through a chemical reaction with milk…” Agent Carlyle and my mom were already in on what he was talking about, and Miss Bea seemed to catch on, but I still felt lost in a sea of words. Whatever was happening to my mind seemed like a block to whatever he was trying to insinuate. “I don’ undestan…” Agent Carlyle then looked at my mom with a slight wince. Nodding she crouched down to my level. “Sweetie… Agent Carlyle felt that you breaking with something along the line could be a possibility with your lack of Infasia early on. So, he gave me a series of pill some time ago.” “Yes,” Agent Carlyle confirmed. “I knew you were searching for the ’87 member, so just in case, I proposed a solution to a potential problem to your mom the day I met her. Remember that?” It was very hazy, but I did. “I didn’t tell her why, but due to the circumstances, I gave her a choice. It might have never been needed, but the possibility of the alternative was too great to ignore.” I looked at all three adults blankly. I could tell each was supportive of me, and Agent Carlyle and my mom were trying to clue me in on what was going on, but I still wasn’t getting it. “Pwease… jus’ tell me. My mind…” I tapped on the side of my head with my finger. “Iss jus’ to fuzzy an’… an’… I feel wike I’m ‘bout to cwy any secon’ now an’ go fully ovah…” I could already feel the sting in my eyes and the lump in my throat began to form. “I understand… Karen?” He then nodded over to my mom who nodded right back to him. At that point, both Miss Bea and Agent Carlyle stepped out of the room. Before closing the door, he issued one last show of support. “Remember the technique we talked about, but if you need anything… we’ll be right outside.” “Thank you, agent… Miss Bea” my mom said with a caring smile before the door was fully closed and we were alone. Then, looking at me closely again, my mom sighed. “Baby… I’ve been taking pills that are designed to be a potential cure that ARSED has been working on to prevent mental breakage. To be activated, they need to be combined with milk… in the body.” My mind, still befuddled with all the chaos of my inner turmoil ever threatening to make itself known to all, plus the fading of it as well, I just wasn’t getting any of this. It all felt so obvious, like something the old me would have gotten in a second. I wondered why no one was just saying… at least until I saw my mom go over and sit down in the rocking chair. And starting to unbutton her shirt. I wanted to be wrong. She was my mom, yes, and I think it had been mentioned that all that had happened before, but… this was now. I still had my mind… or at least way more of a mind than I did back then, but I felt that I had to be wrong. ‘Oh, please… oh, please be wrong…’ So, I knew I had to ask. “Mom… wha’ you doin’?” My mom settled her fingers onto her lap, which is right when I noticed a few clasps near the upper portion of her bra. “Honey… Peter…” I knew right away when she used my first name that all this had immediately become far more serious. “You have two options right now.” She held up her pointer finger. “First, you take the risk and potentially break and regress even younger than you already are, and considering your age currently, there’s a high chance that you could end up as a newborn.” Agent Carlyle’s recent description of that place and how true newborns could be ‘stuck’ for years, even decades, was a possibility I couldn’t accept. “Or two…” She then held up a second finger. “You accept the potential cure that ARSED has discovered and you take it directly from the source.” As if to emphasize her point, maybe in case I hadn’t gotten it yet, she moved her hand and gently placed it over her right breast. In retrospect, I probably reacted a little too harshly… “No! Not dat! No, mommy!” I cringed again at the word, and it probably hurt my point, but all that felt like a step too far. Cribs, diapers, stuffies, pacifiers, naps, finger food, and all that other stuff was something I could deal with but… feed from my mom? I had to put my foot down somewhere. “Pete… sweetie…” She sighed and looked at me with hopeful but desperate eyes. “I understand your hesitation. I wouldn’t ask this of you, but this will help you. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s a possibility far greater than anything else right now.” Oddly, she then shuffled around and stuck one of her fingers in the front of one of her bra cups. “Besides… you might even like it at this point…” I wanted to scream and shout at her betraying me like this, even if it was for my own good. Yes, my rational mind knew she was really just trying to help, but that part of me had long since passed. But right before I could object again, maybe even this time adding a foot stomp, she removed her finger, and my eyes shot right to it… seeing it glisten with dampness even in the low lighting of the room. Looking at it closer, I even saw something that looked white drip around her finger. It was small, but it was such a statement… and one I couldn’t look away from. I don’t know what it was… maybe my brain already breaking down or a bout of Infasia coming on, but my feet felt compelled to stumble forward and get closer. More strange and terrifying… halfway there I picked up a small. Subtle but present, it drew me closer until I could almost reach out and touch my mom. Scarily, my mind nearly buzzed with an uncontrollable urge and possibly even excitement. Another part though wanted to throw up. “No. No, no… no…” I tried to protest, but even as I was speaking, I could feel those verbal protests begin to dim and fade, almost into a whisper by my last refusal. “Oh, Petey…” She clasped her hands together tightly and I could already tell that she wanted nothing more than to help her son. If my pride wasn’t so stubborn, I would have given in right there. “Don’t fight it, sweetie. Your body’s younger instincts are probably taking over, and if I had to guess, combining with your mind’s desire to slip into a state of Infasia to save itself. “Please, baby… ease your worries. Stop stressing and give in to save your mind and body from snapping and regressing more than you already have.” I tried to verbalize my protests, but now, all I could do was shake my head. My mom stared back at me with sympathetic eyes, and she sighed. “Honey… please. Don’t fight this. It’s still your choice but know this… no one will judge you for this. You wouldn’t be the first around here, and I just want you to be safe and happy. Don’t let your pride now spoil that beautiful mind of yours.” I felt a quiver of my lips as a feeling of anguish began to well up inside of me. I still shook my head, but now, even that protest was more of slow movement rather than an outright violent shake to tell her ‘no’ still. My mom sighed and leaned back temporarily. “You know… I partially blame myself for this.” I looked at her questioningly through my tear-blurred vision. “I know I wasn’t always supportive of you on this regressive journey of yours. In the beginning, I know now that I should have been more willing to let you stay mature. You’ll always be my son… nothing will change that, and I should have realized that earlier.” She then leaned back and looked at me with one of the most serious and saddened looks I had seen her do yet. “But please, Petey… please, don’t let me lose you completely to this virus. Please, Pete. Try it just once? For me?” She was practically pleading at that point, and maybe I was simply too tired to fight anymore or maybe it was seeing my mom so desperate to keep my brain as it was. Even if it meant doing one of the most babyish things imaginable, we both knew that it was my only chance at this point to keep from slipping and breaking down completely. “I… I… mommy!” I broke, but not in the way I had been trying to prevent. All at once, the emotional damn I had been trying and admittedly mostly failing at holding back gave way. I ran right into her legs and hugged as much of her as I could. “Oh, baby!” In one swift motion, my mom broke as well and pulled my whole body up onto her lap and into a giant, warm, and comforting hug. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. Just please, accept this now and be happy. It’s a little bit of embarrassment to endure now, but it will save you for the future. Please…” Embracing her fully, with her shirt already pulled aside, my body’s skin touched hers. It was so soft and warm. I didn’t want to be comforted so much by it, but I was fighting an uphill battle and losing. What’s more, being so close to her chest now, the smell of her milk overwhelmed my senses. And if all that wasn’t enough, even just the smell seemed to put my mind at ease. I still didn’t want to, but I couldn’t fight it anymore. I had found in the past year that ARV was all about accepting what you can’t change and dealing with the hardships of growing younger. Each stage was another concession or loss… especially after I dipped below 18, and then again when I arrived at Building 3 and then again at Building 4. It was a tough loss, but like everything else, I knew deep down in my gut, that eventually, this would be just another concession. So, I gave into what the rest of my body was already telling me. I looked up at my mom, tears streaming down my cheeks, and nodded my head. “Yes… mommy… milkies…” I couldn’t even sound mature in accepting her request, but gratefully, my mommy was just full of smiles and understanding, emphasized by a quick squeeze. “Thank you, Petey… Just relax and follow what I tell you to do.” I could only nod as she then pulled me around and laid me over her lap, my face now looking directly at her left breast. It seemed massive, and the smell was overly intoxicating. I was both scared and disturbingly excited. I should have run right there, even with my acceptance, but I was tired. I didn’t want to fight anymore… With slow and gentle fingers, my mommy then undid the clasps on her bra and with a deep breath, she let the cup down to reveal the fleshy orb underneath… my salvation. As if to emphasize that, looking closely and dreading what was about to happen, I even saw a tiny drop of creamy liquid drip out mere inches from my face. Adjusting my head to be even closer, my mommy looked down at me and stroked my back and then my hair. “Now, just open wide and gently take it in. If Agent Carlyle or Dr. Faulkner or Dr. Smothers are right at all, your instincts should do the rest…” I guess they were right. Giving in and stopping my mind from thinking any further, I did as I was instructed and opened my mouth to accept the waiting cure. As soon as the skin hit my tongue, like an out of body experience, I felt like I was no longer in control, and what’s more, I didn’t care. Sweet milk soon began to drizzle into my mouth, and like my mind had been waiting to be told it was okay to let go, it did. Within seconds, I could already feel the glow in my body and the comforting warmth in my brain. My body, fighting against breaking down, was placing itself into the midst of Infasia. Before, I was scared of it, but now… it felt like my salvation. Like a system being freed from a burden, previously shuttered spots of brain seemed to be unclouded now. Slowing still under the coming bout of Infasia, but clear. As such, when I looked around the room, I saw what the true purpose of the quiet room was likely. Shuffling around, my mom pulled out a pad to support my body against her and then a few supplies I couldn’t see from another set of drawers I had never seen be used before. I might have cared more and seen the signs, but right then, I just cared about the milk flowing down and settling into my tummy. Faster and faster, I could feel the changes in mind take root as I slowly began to slip into a state of Infasia. I could have been scared, but I didn’t care anymore. There was a tiny part of my mind still yelling at me to stop, but that part was getting quieter by the second. Instead, I just let everything go, and while I could feel a sudden burst of warmth in my diaper, I didn’t care. My mommy would take care of it later… that’s just what she did. When I awoke, at that point, I wasn’t sure if I cared or not how I would be. Part of me wondered if I would forever be changed by the temporary breakage I experienced today, or if it would simply be another day in my new life. Either way though, it didn’t matter to me anymore. Right then, I just cared about the comfort of my mom, the feeling of contentment, and the peculiar but luxuriating feeling of being safe and cared for no matter what. One day, all this would end, but for now, I just closed my eyes, kept suckling, and let go of everything else.

Hey everyone... I know this won't be post from me that anyone here was hoping for, but I also felt you all deserved to know that this story is going to get a little delayed now. This week, with everything going on in the world and especially personally... it all kind of came to a head today unfortunately. I'm sure everything will be fine eventually, but life can just be so frustrating sometimes, you know? Anyways, I felt you all also deserved for the last two chapters of this story to be as good as I can make them. Right now, I could push through everything, but there's no guarantee that it would be anywhere near that. So, things are going to be delayed for a bit. I hope not too long, and I'll hit these final chapters when I feel ready to go and deliver all that I want, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up for now. Sorry for the wait...

Hey everyone! Getting closer to the end here. Only two more chapters to go, so definitely take a look at the poll. Definitely more votes were added, but it turns out, it was just about an equal amount for both the top choices… so, there’s still only a one vote difference between first and second place. As such, just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2, 13, or 23. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 24: I Thought It Was Over Have you ever woken from a dream and realized that you were so tired you kind of zoned out before passing out? Or have you ever woken up and realized that you were so tired that you should have reacted more than you did? Well, imagine how you would feel if you woke up after a wonderful nap surrounded in the most loving arms and cuddled by your favorite stuffed buddy, only to remember that you had just messed your diaper without much control and was then changed by your mom out in public. Yeah… that was me after I woke up from my nap at the end of summer fair. I had been so mentally and physically exhausted that I really hadn’t even registered the moment… or at least not to the level I should have. Yes, I was upset, and a few tears might have been shed, but I should have completely freaked out… not be so resigned that I almost acted like only some tired, fussy baby. Needless to say, the shame burned within me, and I definitely had to have another cuddle session with my mom and Poofin before we could rejoin Amanda and Dad again. That should have embarrassed me as well, but I wasn’t going to deny myself the comfort they provided… especially with the realization over the notion over the near total lack of control I exhibited. Maybe it was the milk, but something was hauntingly telling me that that poopy incident wasn’t going away any time soon. And as the days progressed, I hated being right… at least in this case. The weeks began to tick by, and as August changed into September, routines were suddenly upended and then normalized once more. Lucas was finally out of the hospital and was recovering nicely under the care of both his roommate and friend, Kevin, and his doting new girlfriend. My parents had met her, and I guess in a way I did too, but I had a bout of Infasia at the time, so I could only take everyone’s word that I had been utterly enchanted by her and that she was a good match for him. Digging not even that deep, I guess that was the thing that started to bug me about my new life. I would have sworn a year ago right before I was diagnosed with ARV that something like pooping my diapers would have been the biggest deal. Don’t get me wrong, the sudden cramp followed by a wave of mushiness in the back of my diaper wasn’t ideal lately, but in a way, I was living in a bubble, and I think that made it somehow easier. It was still a painful situation that made me want to cry every time, but only the highly regressed seemed to delight in that act. Everyone else… well, we just kind of tolerated it as yet another indignity that we were going to have to endure in our new lives. So, no, that wasn’t it… what really bothered me were the gaps. Having Infasia was saving my mind for a later date. New knowledge was coming out of scientists’ labs all over the country and even other parts of the world where new reports of the virus were popping up now. Being ‘stuck’ at one’s bounce age was inevitable sadly but now confirmed to never be permanent. Even in the worst of early cases, some progression was showing to be made… albeit very slowly, which of course meant spending a long time as someone younger than your old brain was used to. To the layman, that simply meant it was like stuffing a watermelon in a soup can… it simply didn’t fit and was either going to burst or needed simplify itself… at least temporarily. That’s where Infasia came in. The problem that everyone faced though, is that Infasia was trade… not a strict miracle to us ARs. Yes, your brain was being saved for another day, and we weren’t mentally regressing forever, but there was also a steep downside. See, it was becoming increasingly obvious that for those not in its thrall in some way, their habits weren’t the most mature anymore, and without their old brain, many began to wonder if they were ever going to drop the desire for something like chicken nuggets or sleeping with a stuffed animal. For those of us with Infasia, we could be grateful that we might be better off in the long term, but in the meantime, it was to be a life with holes instead of memories. “So, you’re saying that Phil, Dylan, and Sammy stopped by to see how I was doing the other day?” I asked my mom when she picked me up from Linfield one afternoon. I didn’t see them very much at all anymore, but they had occasionally stopped by to see how I was doing. It was only once every few weeks, but I had partially come to look forward to it. Sammy was definitely showing further signs of Infasia and was no longer the 11-year-old I had once known but a smiling and missing teeth eight-year-old instead. Phil and Dylan were basically the same… except I was starting to notice a few slips here and there for their likes. Being diapered and with Poofin always at least in the same room as me, I couldn’t very well judge, but I took notice. Still, it was nice to see them and with their new personalities to essentially match their bounced ages, while I was still the ‘baby’ of the group, we were at least more on equal footing. So, when they hadn’t shown in a while, I got curious. “Yes, Pete,” my mom confirmed as she buckled me into my car seat. “You had just woken up from your nap, and honestly, I thought you knew. You seemed, well, not so regressed. I thought you were just in it partially like sometimes happens now.” “I was?” My mom nodded, patting the front buckle like almost good luck charm to keep me safe. “Oh… I kind of remember, but… I thought it was just a dream. I guess not…” “Yeah, no dream. They stayed for a little bit, but I think once they saw you, they were more interested in the cookies and lemonade I gave them.” I nodded with resignation and didn’t say anything more about it. My mom looked back at me with sympathy and didn’t say anything else either. Sadly, we both knew that it was just one more gap in my life now that I couldn’t do a thing about. I guess that was just how life works though. I had come to the same sort of resignations when I was an adult, and while those were about an argument with Molly, stemming from my poor communication skills, or a pressing deadline at work or traffic and insurance and rent… they were all problems I just resigned myself too back then. Now, all those types of problems were gone for me and instead, ARV had replaced them with used diapers, little to no independence, and a world seemingly just a little too large for my current form… just to name a few of my more recent problems. So, with that sort of resignation, things became pretty much routine, even in the morning I woke up on about a week into September. Grogginess with a little Infasia left me open to a tickle attack before my diaper change by my mom. Needing to wash the grime off, I also let her do my bath not long after. Slowing massively down in my regression under two, I didn’t really care anymore lately. After all, what’s getting a luxurious bath by caring hands compared to having your butt wiped because you messed yourself? It seemed so small a concession for me, and it seemed to give my mom endless joy, so I caved. And then, all that was followed my changing into another cutesy thick diaper, one that I had to at least appreciate the superhero designs all over the front… especially designed for ARs apparently. Considering most of my friends didn’t even have a say or eventually care about their own diapers, it was a small bit of pride I had… regardless that it was about a diaper or not. More so, my mom still gave me the choice of choosing my own clothes and factoring my wants in whenever we went shopping. She knew my tastes, so even the times I was under a bout of Infasia in the morning, I never awoke to wearing anything too ‘babyish.’ Downstairs, being more awake, I was placed back in my booster seat. Looking over, the highchair remained in its holding place until I needed it… which lately was only during a bout of Infasia. It was apparently just easier that way, and I could have fought it, but I always just cared more about my breakfast soon after I had that thought. For instance, this morning was a nice colorful plate of a few berries, a split hardboiled egg, and a smaller bagel with some low-fat cream cheese. Gulping it all down, it was delicious and despite getting some of the berry juices dribbling down my chin, I managed to at least keep my shirt clean. My bib hanging off the highchair was a visual reminder of what waited for me if my parents thought I was still too under. “Got your backpack all ready, sweetie?” my dad asked, walking back into the room after starting up the car. “Yep! All good and set!” Amanda swirled around in her dress briefly before quickly grabbing her bag lunch off the counter. It was a small moment that she was trusted to carry all that stuff, but she was celebrating progress in her life. All stemming from the same place, in this case… kindergarten. She had only been going for a few weeks now, but her excitement levels were off the charts when it came to her teachers and the friends she was already making. Every night at dinner, I heard her stories… of what she was learning… of what she was doing… of how she was growing up. Small bits and the tiniest of things, but it was still progress. For her, even if every day she was only advancing an inch at a time, she was still moving forward in a way that I could only dream of. Checking his watch, my dad then made his rounds of saying ‘I love you’ and ‘goodbye’ to mom and me, before walking over to the front entrance. “Come on, Amanda. We gotta go or you’re going to be late.” Her eyes bugging wide over something so horrible, she dropped the spare piece of toast that had been in her mouth and then ran over to join him. “Bye, Petey!” She almost ran out of the house like a rocket, but like she was forgetting something critical, stopped suddenly and then ran back over. Turns out, I was the thing she was forgetting as she rushed up to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Good luck at daycare today!” “Thanks, sis…” I appreciated the extra effort and the closeness she was sharing with me now, but I was also resigned to the fact that she still insisted on calling Linfield Building 4 ‘daycare.’ I mean, it was in all but name… but I still held onto the small differences. After all, most daycares I had ever seen didn’t house books for their attendees that could have been found in any college library. But still, just like that, she and our dad were gone and out the front door. Now, it was my mom and I’s turn to leave… our exit taking just a bit longer. I mean, I wish I could have helped, but I felt like I was just the burden of the family now more than anything. Admittedly cute and a member of the family, but now, even Amanda helped on our weekend outings in taking something out to the car. As for me, I could only stay out of the way until I was plucked up and deposited into my awaiting car seat… just like my mom did for me this morning. On our way to Linfield, I looked out at all the changing world. New buildings were being erected, and it felt that every fifth sign was something dedicated to a new product for ARs or talking about litigation for ARV or Orange Day. It had faded from being the top news stories, but it was never far out of anyone’s mind. For me though, it was an inescapable reality to my current life. Every aspect was dictated by my bodily needs or someone attending to me addressing them, and I knew each by heart. Before that might sound impressive though, it was because they never changed. For me, at least in the beginning my change was my body. It was both fascinating and horrifying to look into the mirror and see how I had changed and then later in the day about what that would mean. Even if it was something I was losing, like my need to shave or my potty training, it did keep things interesting… not great, but interesting. Now though, with my age leveling out, looking out the window, everything else was rushing by, but there I was, effectively stuck in my car seat. A padded life for sure, but one moving beyond me and no longer dictated by me. Amanda going to kindergarten was only another reminder of that recently. Each day, she was growing, yet I hadn’t even bounced yet. Plus, being ‘stuck’ soon, I knew that gap would only grow. One day, I might advance beyond her when I fully got my mind back… but that was still years away. Coming into daycare soon after, I had to admit… I was feeling a little sad and resigned about everything in my life recently. I felt like I was in a long dark tunnel now and there wasn’t going to be any end to it, again, for many years. Looking around the room, everything was the same as when I first arrived here, but everyone was different as well. The attendees were still sorted into their various groups, and most smaller groups still hung around each other, but there was a drastic difference in the number of cases of Infasia. A conspiracy theorist might have blamed Linfield itself, or maybe the idiot would have blamed even Miss Bea or Miss Josie for the increase, but I was a realist. I knew now that coming here, nearly in all cases, Infasia was inevitable. So, looking over at my group, everyone this morning was already in their own world of Infasia or thumbing around its edges, just waiting to slip fully in. It didn’t take long to see that Harriet was the least affected, but even she was cuddling with her own stuffy while reading some middle school grade fiction… a far cry from her usual tastes of the classics. Looking over them all as well, I was painfully reminded that I still hadn’t caught the rat and the supposed terrorist from the ’87 group. Maybe that failure was why I was so down lately, but I had hit a dead end. With Jeremy slipping under for longer periods of time, I was almost left all alone in my investigation, and even that was getting cut short by own lapses under as well. Sure, I knew it was Frank or Luna, but lately, it was a coin toss between the two… both exhibiting their own unique patterns of why it could be them. And maybe all that put together… the loneliness I was starting to feel here… maybe that was the reason I started to wish to slip under more often as well. That might have seemed defeatist or even insane to some, but while there were still gaps in my memories during those times, they had started to feel like dreams. Not even bad dreams, just more ethereal placements where I had little control over my actions and just wafted from one action to the next, reacting abruptly to whatever happened. To be perfectly honest, I seemed content at the very least, and if any of my carers were to be believed, happy as well. Setting aside my own pride and acknowledging that not everything was perfect all the time, it didn’t seem such a bad prospect anymore. One day, I might not have a choice and that wasn’t great, but now, I just wanted to be with my friends. My only caveat to just giving in though appeared whenever I looked around the room. Doctors, lawyers, a judge, plumbers, electricians… everyone was here, and everyone was equal in their own regressed states. It was kind of liberating… except when you remembered that their old lives had basically been stolen away from them. It wasn’t malicious by the virus, but it was still a part of us that was missing… and nowhere was more evident of that than when I looked over at Ian. He still came to group meetings on Wednesdays, like the one happening tonight, with Polly, so I knew what was going on in his life in nearly every intimate detail. I knew from there and could see him during the day that he was slipping more and more every day. Infasia was the great level around here, and looking over, that was painfully obvious as he crawled over to a few blocks for his small tower before stopping, grunting, smiling, and then moving on like nothing had ever happened. He didn’t care about it as this version of himself, but I always thought of what came after all that. Admittedly, the look of horror when someone came out of Infasia faded over time, I guess getting used to it and Infasia becoming their only reality, but I never saw it truly leave. So, I knew if I slipped under more like my friends, I would be subject to the same fate as Ian and would have shared the same shame I knew he was now going to feel later. Still, going outside to play a little later, it was just me walking around the edge of the fence in the back area, Harriet now having fully succumbed to her Infasia. I could have maybe found another friend still on the edge like I was, but I missed Jeremy, Luna, Frank, Harriet, and Julia. Looking over at their little playdate out on the picnic blanket that Miss Bea had spread out for them; it didn’t seem so bad. I knew it was a risk, but I didn’t want to feel sad anymore, so I joined them. Babbling, lisping, and gurgled babytalk were all the norm here. Clumsy fingers and wide eyes stared back at me, but the laughter was undeniable as well. Grabbing Poofin, I gave him a squeeze and quickly plopped down with my friends. Being the most mature, I was a little out of place, but I soon caught on… right about the same time I begin to feel warm all over. It wasn’t from the sun… it was from Infasia. Scary and all-encompassing absolutely but almost absolutely freeing as well. I didn’t appreciate the shame that came after, but during, there were no mistakes. You fell over and everyone laughed? You might have cried but a quick cuddle would have that feeling disappear in a second. You peed or pooed yourself? Join the club. An adult can’t understand you? It doesn’t matter, because you just know that they want to help you, and your friends are on the same level as you as well. So, as I could feel my world begin to blur at the edges, I could only smile and play with Poofin and my friends. This time, I remembered more, but I still wasn’t in control. Others might have freaked out over that loss, but as an AR, you first got used to it, but then you embraced it. Nothing mattered, and if it did enough, an adult would take care of it. So, my world faded in and out. I was lost on a cloud of no thought and only feeling. A minute seemed like a lifetime, but the hours rolled by without a single care and all in the blink of an eye. But all good dreams must end at some point… And mine did, and not in necessarily the most ideal of spots. Cold and damp… and an odd smell, but that had been with me before. ‘Right?’ Like a dream, it was all fuzzy after the fact, but one thing was clear. I was no longer outside, I no longer felt tired, and most importantly… I came to with my legs arched up to the ceiling. To put it plainly, I was in the middle of a diaper change. “Col’!” I slurred, still coming out of it, feeling the freezing wipe along and up my backside. Things were still a bit fuzzy, but my needs were immediate, and I had to say something. “Oh!” Miss Bea set my legs down on a new diaper after a few more wipes, now judging me clean, and looked at me with a concerned look followed immediately by a warm one. “Someone’s back, aren’t they?” “Yeah…” I wanted to comment on the fact that she had just stopped mid-change while I was still exposed to the world, but if anyone cared who was even close enough to see, they certainly didn’t seem to care. “Okay… well, let me just finish up here. No sense in you going all nude-like for everyone here. Might feel nice, but we have a carpet to protect, huh?” Miss Bea’s words weren’t the most calming to my mind, but I had come to accept a little leftover babytalk and cooing in my life after a bout of Infasia. For ARs, there was a clear line between being in and being out. For our carers though, that line was less clear… especially when our own edges began to blur of being in or out. Fortunately, despite her childish voice down to me, I knew she still respected me enough to at least nod and quickly diaper me up. No words of condescension… just a playful tone, and for that, I had to at least be a little grateful. Once I rejoined the others, a few now out of their bouts as well, at least for a little bit, we all realized that it was now post naptime. For ARs like Luna or Frank, it was old news. These days, large chunks of their days were now missing. For me, it was one of the first times I could recall at least where I had been under for more than four hours. True, part of that included a nap, but it still shocked me to my core… which is why I guess it was brought up later after daycare at group therapy as our first topic. “And how did that make you feel, Pete?” Dr. Smothers asked, pressing in on my insecurity. I didn’t like that the rest of the group, at least the ones not in Infasia which based on the slack jaws and vacant looks, was comprised of mostly carers today. I hugged Poofin, my near constant companion in group sessions now, for a little comfort. “It… it’s kind of scary. I feel my life is slipping by now…” “I see the same fear in Harriet,” Carl said wearily. His former fiancé might have given him comfort right then, but instead she just played on the floor at his feet with his shoelaces. “I feel like I’m losing everything of who she is every time she goes under…” “It’s okay Carl,” Samantha consoled, rubbing his shoulder… a little too long personally. “I feel the same way about Julia.” Julia wasn’t as far under tonight, but she had been here for long enough at this point that the edges of when she was versus when she wasn’t were becoming increasingly hazy. “I know she’s my sister still… and we do have some great conversations when she comes to… but I miss being able to talk to her every day.” “She lived with you for a while before even coming to Linfield, right?” Dr. Smothers questioned, to which Samantha nodded. “Then that especially must be tough to lose your confidant.” “Definitely…” Samantha clenched her eyes for a moment and ran her hand through Julia’s expertly braided hair. “Especially now… we used to talk about all our problems together, but when goes under and she’s the hardship of my life that I want to talk about… it’s really hard. I just hope… one day she’ll come back to me…” Many of the group nodded. ‘One day…’ It seemed like the silent prayer of nearly every AR and carer, friend, or family member of them. It was the hope that one day all this would be over or at least that we would begin to regrow. Being ‘stuck’ was confirmed to not be permanent, but our timelines for one day could now be measured in years. It was a tough pill to swallow for everyone involved. “And it’s natural to feel dismayed or even feel alone when dealing with ARs who were once so close to us…” Dr. Smothers paused and hesitated just enough that I wondered who exactly she was thinking about personally right then. I felt she had a stake in this who situation, but I never could find out for sure. “So, does anyone here maybe feel different about Infasia? Maybe a positive that could help those here who are struggling?” Yasmine was the first to be called of the few hands that were raised. “Well… as you all know, I was assigned to Jeremy by ARSED.” Jeremy backed up into her legs on hearing his name. ‘Definitely under today…’ “I didn’t know him before all this, and I know that might not help some of you, but…” She hesitated for a moment but then smiled down at Jeremy before continuing. “But I feel a closeness to him that I didn’t before. I get to see two sides to him. The one with all the knowledge and experience but fear and doubt as well… and the one where any trouble can be fixed with a snack, a quick change, or a cuddle. It’s almost like two different people but I appreciate them both nearly equally.” I silently wondered which version of Jeremy that was. Polly then raised her hand next. “You all know my older brother… he was a little difficult before all this.” Several of the group nodded in agreement. Ian was a defacto member of the therapy group, and while everyone held him with a bit of disdain at first, Polly had gone a long way to begin to soften our opinion towards him. It also helped that like with Jeremy, Ian now was essentially two people, but for him, that gap was narrowing. As I saw earlier today, without his strength or machismo, he was getting stripped raw to his inner self, and admittedly, that side of Ian wasn’t terrible. “We drifted apart as we grew up. I went into teaching, while he went… well, you know what he did.” She knew that we didn’t blame her for his past by now, but I could still see she bore a shame or at least a personal responsibility for Ian as a whole… and right or wrong, that seemed to include his past for her. “I missed him though, but I can say with certainty… I don’t miss his anger issues or violence. He was tough… brutal… not even the best older brother to me before, but he was family. Now, and as much as I hate to admit it, but I like this version of my brother better… does that make me a bad person?” A resounding chorus of ‘no’s’ littered the room, but Dr. Smothers quickly spoke up as well while shaking her head. “We’ve talked about this, Polly. It’s okay to feel a burden for liking these new versions of your ARs. Sometimes, a clean slate is the thing we most desire for ourselves. ARV forced that on many people, and we shouldn’t wish that on others, but we’re only human. It’s okay to like a change in someone… we just shouldn’t wish for the person to never change or grow back up later just because we fear they may revert back to who they were.” I was glad that she added that last part. I didn’t fear my mom’s maternal tendencies anymore, but it was still a nice thing to hear from a professional… and Polly definitely seemed to think so as well. “So, what do I do with those feelings then, doctor?” Dr. Smothers nodded and addressed the rest of the group as well. “First, accept that they’re okay, but second, to offset them or your feelings of guilt, when they come to full again one day, help them. You all may not be the caregivers in the most natural of ways, and there is still the base of who the ARs were before all this, but from what we know, they may need guidance when they begin to grow again. Be there for them then. Until then though, it’s okay to feel stretched a little as a caregiver. You all wrestle in seeing or even knowing both versions of the ARs, and that’s one of the reasons we hold these sessions.” She paused briefly and wrote a few notes down before looking back up at the group. “So, does anyone else feel a bit like Polly with their AR?” Tawnya didn’t talk much at first, but with Frank slipping out of it most sessions now, she was opening more than ever… almost like she was a little afraid of talking about him before. So, naturally, when Dr. Smothers saw her hand pop up, she was the first to be called. “Uh… I actually kind of liked Frank as an adult… at least in his 20s… even 30s…” She paused and I think we all could see her hesitation in continuing. In a natural setting, it might have just been left alone, but Dr. Smothers rarely left a proverbial stone unturned. “But not after?” Tawnya hesitated but then shook her head. “No… he was never abusive or anything like that, but… he became distant at first. I thought it was nothing, but then I met some of his new friends. They were all… so strange, and they were a bad influence on him…” “Did they give him a bad temper?” Carl asked, almost shielding Harriet away from what was currently being spoken about. “Or try and pick fights with them like he was in a gang of sorts?” “Or was it drugs or alcohol?” Daphne questioned next before giving Tawnya a chance to respond. Unlike Carl though, her downward glances at Luna told me that she might have been speaking more from personal experience with her rather than just guesses and generalizations. Tawnya quickly shook her head. “No, no. He just hung out with… well, they were so secretive. And they had funny ideas. They were always going on and on about the corruption in the government these days…” At the sound of that, my ears perked up. I had learned that unless other ARs in the group were mentally present, it was usually just best to keep quiet and out of the way… while also trying to not be offended by anything anyone said. It was just easier that way… but now, Frank’s past seemed… intriguing. “They were huge conspiracy theorists. For example, they thought their water was being tapped by the government when they were living in the city,” she continued, “which is I guess why they left to go out west someplace.” My mind was spinning with each detail she inadvertently revealing… details that Frank had long suppressed from the rest of us. “Frank was already slipping away from me, but the move… I didn’t see him again until after Orange Day…” My mom then spoke up, and I’m sure it was important and maybe even about me, but I just couldn’t get my mind off what Tawnya had said about Frank. He and his friends were conspiracy theorist nuts that combined with a group which moved out west and were both odd and also disliked the government. I kept trying to put it all together, but maybe it was the day growing later, or the fact I was getting hungry… but I just couldn’t confirm what I was thinking. I felt like I was hitting a wall, but I kept at it. As such, even through dinner back home, I was distracted by the whole notion. Even through my quick bath and change into my summer jammies, I was distant and reserved. My mom even asked if I was feeling okay and checked me for a fever before bed, but I just old her I was “Thinkin’…” She gratefully accepted my answer before leaving my side, maybe even thinking I was already slipping back under, but I didn’t care. I wanted the truth. So, as soon as the lights were off, my nursery once again only illuminated by my night light, it was peaceful and quiet. And I guess it turned out that what I needed was maybe a little food or that peace, but I felt confident I knew the truth now. It was hard to fathom… I considered the guy a friend, but the evidence was stacking up completely against him now. Frank was the member of the ’87 terrorist group, and by logic, the rat of the group as well. It was a horrible feeling of betrayal. I felt it in my mouth, my tailbone… my soul. This was a person who stood by my side against Ian at one point, but also in the next… rat me out to the attendants. He had taught me the ropes, consoled me when I was down, and was my friend. Sure, he was a shell of the person I first met a few months ago now, but there was a part of him still in there… and as much as I wanted to call that person my friend… that part of him I also hated the most. Before tonight, I had been keeping my eye on Luna. In the past few weeks, she had slightly edged over Frank on my top list of suspects. Nothing to accuse her directly, but her past was a mystery, and I could decide if her time with a commune was just that… or if it was more of a code that the terrorist group used instead. After tonight though, I knew it couldn’t be her. It was Frank. Frank was part of the terrorist group. He was part of the reason that all this had happened to me and thousands of others. I wanted revenge. I felt like I was buzzing from the top of my head down to the tips of my toes. I wouldn’t have slept a wink if it wasn’t for my regressed body and its need for more rest. Still, as my eyes closed, I began to drift off and only dream of the satisfaction that would come tomorrow when I confronted him back at Linfield. The next morning, I was nearly on pins and needles. What had started taking minutes to bolster myself out of my nightly bouts of Infasia, only took seconds this morning. My mom was surprised but just continued with her usual routine. In fact, I almost embraced her still doing most of the work to get me ready as it gave me plenty of time to think… to plan… to be ready for my confrontation with Frank. Through all that, it didn’t take me long to realize that the absolute trickiest part of confronting him was going to be reaching the rational and unclouded part of whatever was left of the old Frank. Others might have been more worried about people like Mr. Daniel, Miss Josie, or even Miss Bea stopping me… or even another AR, but I knew how to be sneaky and with Frank as the rat, I doubted anyone else was going to stop me. But admittedly, I was human and part of being human is having doubts. As my mom drove me over to Linfield, I couldn’t help but pause for a second and wonder if I should even be doing this. Maybe if last night wasn’t so focused on Infasia and how all of us ARs were essentially different people, things would have been different. Maybe that little queasy feeling in my stomach was more from the milk sloshing around down there… maybe it was a guilt over confronting someone for their past, what was now almost a totally different life than this one. The more I thought about it though, the more those doubts began to fade away. Like etches in the sand being washed away by a wave of reality, I was seeing the truth all around me. Each billboard advertising about the ARV or some new product for ARs was another reason to not back down now. Shifting in my car seat, taking it personally, I couldn’t just ignore the fact that I was now in a diaper and overalls because of the virus that his group had let out into the world. Even more damning, due to his location back here now, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was likely also involved with the very burst of the orange mist on Orange Day that I had seen go off over the city. How many thousands were hit? How many lost their lives to the mist that day? Even if their group consisted of a hundred people, divided up, I couldn’t move past the idea that Frank was responsible for at least 300 severe cases of ARV. No, he had to pay. Entering the daycare not long after, I busied myself as usual. I knew I had to pick my moment and then find an excuse to get Frank alone, so it was more of a waiting game. Frank, drooling over himself, was clearly not ready for our little talk, so I busied myself with other tasks… the first being the placing of Poofin in my cubby for safe keeping. Giving him a quick hug, I knew I wanted him out of the crossfire that was sure to ensue once I started my questioning. “Goodbye, Poofin… wish me luck.” So, the day went on. Snacks and songs and games were all had, but right as we returned from our first recess time of the day, I saw that Frank was walking unassisted and even talking to Luna about food they used to enjoy. Both being younger, they didn’t have all their teeth, so some items were off their menus until further notice. For me, that just meant my back molars, but I was still mostly okay with my front baby teeth. Regardless, I knew the time was now, so I first went over to Jeremy to ask him about his experience with Orange Day. I had asked before, but I made up a story that I wanted to write everything down… just in case we all forgot. It was actually pretty interesting hearing how Jeremy was just returning from a brunch with his boyfriend, or how Harriet was just finishing up a brief for the next day at her job, but still… my true target was Frank. “Hey, Frank…” I ambled up to my ‘friend,’ and plopped down right beside him nearly as soon as Luna wandered off. “I’m thinking of putting together a little bit on Orange Day and I wanted to hear where everyone was. Already asked Jeremy, Harriet, and Julia… so how about you? Where were you?” Frank shifted in a clearly discomforted way. I could see the question was immediately pressing and that I was already on the right path. I had briefly considered going around, but with his Infasia in question, I knew time was a factor. “I… uh… maybe go ask, uh… Luna next?” I didn’t want to come across as sketchy so quickly, so I made sure to look over to Luna. Considering that she was currently tossing around a ball on the floor and giggling every time it touched her foot, I felt confident in turning back to Frank and shaking my head. “Hmmm… I don’t think she would be a very good interview right now. So… where were you, Frank?” Again, Frank shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t smell anything, so it wasn’t anything on that front, and besides, I could already see tiny beads of sweat beginning to accumulate on his forehead. “Me? I was… I was off… coming back from a… camping trip…” I could have just chalked up his hasty and broken notion as just his nerves. Having interviewed people back in college, I had seen it before, but this was Orange Day. We all talked about it at some point… except Frank. It was a gap in his life, and one that was so critical to it. It was like talking about a summary of your life and then completely forgoing a bit like that you were married or graduated college or even had a kid. It just didn’t happen or was damn odd, and now, his excuse was full of holes and far too generic. It was just more evidence that I was on to him. “Hmmm… camping, huh?” I asked, playing along with this little charade. “I used to camp all around here. Where was your favorite spot? What about that day? You coming from the east or west of the city?” “West…” His eyes bugged out and he shook his head rapidly. “No! East… east, I mean…” “Hmmm… that would mean…” I honestly had to think for a second. It had been a year now since I had camped over there, and even then, it was a smaller campsite and not one of the more popular ones, so I couldn’t even remember that name. Being Orange Day though, I knew Frank would have remembered his site… if he was telling the truth. “Barker’s Knob or Pine Creek?” “I… I don’t remember…” By now, Frank was almost heaving and if he was in his 60s, I might have been concerned about his health. I didn’t want to kill the guy… only hear the truth. “I… I gotta go.” Frank got up before I could say anything and beat a hasty retreat across the main daycare area. With all the doors closed though, I wasn’t sure where he was going, so I got up to follow him. I wasn’t going to just let him end this whole process. I needed to know. And besides… Frank had bounced around 17 months while at worst, I was somewhere around 22. It wasn’t much of a difference in the grand scheme, but I was more agile and a little taller. So, barely any time later, I caught up with him. “Where you going Frank? Something wrong about that day?” “I just… I don’t want to talk about it…” His eyes scanned the room, and I wondered if he was looking for help, so, using my height over him, I made him back up… and right into a corner. Security cameras could still see us, but it was slightly hidden away from any eyes on the floor right then. “Wha’… wha’ are you doin’?” I could hear him start to slip a little, and I knew I had to go quick. So, not seeing many other options, I decided that right then was the perfect time to spring my accusations. “I know, Frank…” “You… you know?” I could see the fear laced behind his eyes and I even saw his fingers begin to shake. I knew I had him, so I pressed in on him further. “Yeah… I know you’re the rat of the group… and I know that you were a part of the ’87 terrorist group.” There… it was out now, and boy, did it feel amazing. “I… I…” Frank stammered around, and I could see the fear growing inside of him. Like a bug caught in a spider’s web, I made sure there was no escape for him. Today, I was the aggressor, and I was perfectly okay with that. “I don’ know what your talkin’ about… pwease… please, Pete… I…” “No,” I said firmly, just barely keeping myself from smacking the wall hind us to emphasize my point. “No more lies, Frank. You…” “Pete?” I stopped and turned around to see Jeremy standing there seemingly dumbfounded and highly concerned with what he was seeing going on between us. “Wha… what’s going on here?” “He’s crazy!” Frank said, trying to defend himself. “He’s…” “Shut it, Frank! I know!” I saw Jeremy cock his head and I knew my true friend deserved to know. “He’s the rat, Jeremy! He’s the terrorist! Look at him shaking! He knows I’m right!” I felt vengeful and justified right then, almost like no force on earth could stop me. It was a little scary admittedly with that seeming loss of control, but I knew I could let Frank go until I knew… or at least knew for sure. Jeremy meanwhile seemed to be wrestling with the information himself. It was a lot to take in, and I give him credit for not cracking right then, especially since the two of them were even closer friends than Frank or I ever were. “Please…” he began to plead, “please, Frank… tell me this isn’t true…” Frank winced, and I had to make sure I wasn’t directly intimidating him right then. Being under three, what I was doing someone might call torture if I pushed it any further, so I only made sure to use vague threats and strong words. It wasn’t much, but I could see Frank begin to crack under the relatively subtle pressure I was applying. “Please, Jeremy… I…” He seemed to be having a hard time saying the words, and maybe he had lived with them for so long that it was hard to admit the truth. Regardless, he looked back at his friend with terribly sad eyes. “I… you have to understand. I…” “Oh my god…” Jeremy was understandably disturbed by the notion. Frank hadn’t said ‘no’ for the first time and was now defending his actions. “Pete’s right, isn’t he?” Frank winced again but didn’t answer. “Isn’t he?” His question thundered throughout the daycare a little and several others stopped what they were doing and began to wander over. Fortunately, being just after recess, all the attendants were distracted by one thing or another to really notice the crowd now flocking toward us. Many might have been under Infasia right then, but I think they all knew a conflict was brewing regardless and couldn’t help but gravitate toward us as best they could to watch it all unfold. “I… I can’t lie to you, Jeremy… Pete’s right…” His words were pitiful and momentous. Whispers abounded in the seconds beforehand, and I had to assume they were all about Frank and what was going on between us. So, when his confession floated out like some haunted specter from his mouth, everyone gasped. “But… why, Frank?” Jeremy wanted answers and I did as well, but I guess when regressed former adults hear and see the man that now caused all… this, the temptation to resist violence is just not enough to hold them back. I wasn’t even sure what it was, but I knew when to dodge a flying object when I saw one. Soon, several plush items and soft plastic balls began to get pelted right at Frank. A few missed and hit me, and I guess between them and the chaos unfolding, I felt a rage building up in my gut. Meanwhile, Frank tried to defend himself with both his hands and his words. I only heard a few words like ‘not my choice’ and ‘tricked’ and ‘please understand me,’ but all were falling on deaf ears. For everyone, it seemed to be too little too late. For some of the affected, that was truer than others. For some, it was likely that right then was going to be the only moment of clarity they had all day. So, it wasn’t a mystery why Frank’s pleads soon turned to whimpers and small yelps as he was pelted over and over again. As for me… the fire in my gut… the hate… the anguish… It all had reached a boiling point. I was usually a person that chose peace over all else, and maybe it was my regressed emotions. Maybe it was all that I had lost finally pouring out like hot magma after my top had finally blown. Maybe it was the fact that no one seemed to want to dole out any peace to Frank… only justice. But whatever was the case, in the moment, I felt vindicated in finding a discarded stuffy from nearby… and begin to mercilessly hit Frank with it. It was relatively small and ever so soft, but I guess everything is relevant, and between that and all the objects continuing to fly, Franks pleas for us to stop soon devolved into straight cries for help and even those sounding more like they belonged to a baby… not a terrorist. Maybe that should have been the clue to us to stop our barrage. Maybe it should have been before that, but rational thoughts weren’t surging through my head right then. I wanted revenge and no one seemed willing, or at least able, to stop me… at least not the crowd that had gathered. “Stop! Stop everyone!” Mis Bea’s booming voice came through loud and clear. A few stopped, but by then, I was almost in my own little world. Each hit was for something I had lost. My girlfriend. My job. My license. My muscles. My height. My maturity. My adult teeth and even a few of my baby teeth. My independence. My potty training… “Stop this immediately!” Mr. Collins’ voice boomed even heavier, and I briefly stopped to look back at the head of Building 4. “Stop, Pete. Stop right now.” I knew right then that this couldn’t simply be shuffled off, but seeing Frank, I just saw all my problems laid out in the open. “No!” I screamed, whacking Frank a few more times in a row. “He’s the rat! He’s the terrorist! He deserves to be punished!” I wanted to spit fire and scream in a fury of vengeance and what felt like the only justice I was going to get. It wasn’t equal and I can admit that I even knew then that Frank wasn’t that person anymore, but it only mattered so much in comparison to everything else. Being an AR around 22 months though… I didn’t stand a chance against a five-year-old, let alone a full-grown adult. Miss Bea plucked me off Frank like I weighed nothing, and even as I thrashed around, she did very little except keep me from hitting her, Frank, or anyone else around us. “Oh, Pete…” I could hear her disappointment, but also a grain of sympathy as well. Looking over, I saw Miss Josie grab the shaking Frank as well and quickly ran off with him after nodding to Mr. Collins. He then turned over to us. “Quiet room. Now, Miss Bea,” he commanded. She nodded rapidly and then proceeded to simply maneuver me about until I was wrapped tightly in her arms, using each of my thrashing movements against me in several swift moves. It wasn’t long either until her vice-like grip of me relaxed though and I was soon cradled against her chest as we departed the room. Then, to my surprise, she began to rub my back. “Shhh… shhh… easy does it, Pete…” I wanted to be pissed, but her motions and words were like the one shining light in my otherwise stormy mind. It was that ray telling me that everything was going to be okay. It told me that I wasn’t going to be sent to the naughty Building like Butch had been. It was a pang of sympathy, and maybe that was it, but I soon collapsed into her arms in a heaping mass of self-loathing and despair. Right before that though, I spotted Mr. Collins looking at the whole scene with a clear and deep worry etched into his brow. Seconds later, just as Miss Bea began to cart me out of the main room and to the quiet room, he popped out a phone and dialed a single number before putting it up to his ear. “Yes… Agent Carlyle… Code Indigo… I repeat, Code Indigo.” I was confused by the whole matter, but my own emotional and soon to be crying mass of myself soon took over. “There, there…” Miss Bea cooed at me as we entered the quiet room. I still wondered if it was just for freaked out ARs, but somehow, that still felt wrong as to its true purpose. Regardless, Miss Bea soon sat down in the rocking chair and began to rock me slowly. “Just take a breath in and out for me, Pete. It’s all going to be okay… I promise…” Her words could have been hollow, but at the time, they also felt like exactly what I needed to hear. I wanted answers from Frank, but instead, I had devolved and simply resorted to hitting him like some half-crazed barbarian. I wanted justice or revenge, but I had blown my chance completely. Further, to have Frank confirm my suspicions was a blow for everyone for sure. Yes, I suspected him, but it was something else entirely to hear firsthand. And yes, I knew he wasn’t solely responsible for Orange Day, but to me, that only mattered a small fraction in comparison to the consequences from that fateful day. I doubted I would ever meet another member of the ’87 terrorist group, so all my emotions of fear, anger, resentment, shame, hatred, embarrassment, loss, and so many others… had gotten boiled down into the one figure I could touch. It wasn’t fair to Frank, and part of me knew that, but there was another part of me that just hadn’t cared either. So, in my failure to accomplish all that I had set out to do, Miss Bea’s comfort was just what I needed right then. And, for a single moment at least, her comfort allowed me to lay my head against her and close my eyes, trying desperately to just think about anything else. It was small, but with everything going on, especially for a little guy like me these days, even the smallest comfort was something big… and I had to be grateful for that at least.

Hey everyone! So, including this chapter, there are only four more to go. Barring any problems on my end or technical glitches with the site or whatnot, the final chapter should be posted next week, likely on Monday. I’ll talk about what that means more then and what the future holds, but I just wanted to put out a thank you and congratulations here in the meantime. Everyone’s support for this story has been phenomenal and it’s definitely going to be bittersweet to finish up with it so soon. Speaking of finishing up though, the end of one story means the start of another not long after. Looking at the poll today, the three different story options are only a few votes away from each other in a three-way tie. Calculating all the votes up, one story is pulling ahead, but just barely by a single vote. So, be sure to vote if you haven’t already, and just in case, here is the link again just in case you don’t want to scroll back or go digging for where chapter 2 or 13 is again. https://strawpoll.com/ajnE16aXAnW So, with that in mind, as I have mentioned in the past though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these in the final tally as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here, and don’t worry… I’ll give you all a big reminder as well during the penultimate chapter of this story. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 23: Coming To… It’s hard to describe Infasia in any real way to anyone who hasn’t experienced it before. Once you got it, nearly everyone asked, but even almost two months later since I first realized I had it, I was still unsure of how to answer that question exactly. It wasn’t like I didn’t know, but every time I tried to explain, my words just didn’t do it justice. At one point, I said it was like going to sleep, but sleep is a total shut off from your senses and you almost go to another world in your dreams. It wasn’t like acting to be a different person, in most cases, you were a different person… almost akin to a split personality. But even that didn’t do it justice, when as the weeks progressed, I could recall more and more from my time under. There was still a line, but the line was becoming blurrier each time I went under with another bout. In particular, this one felt even stronger than usual. I got brief flashes of the outside world, but they rarely last more than a few seconds at most… and they weren’t the most encouraging. Hands covered in food. Clapping over some silly noises. Smashing together some colorful blocks. Hugging Poofin. Each felt designed like a snapshot to show me just how much of a lack of control I had over my life but also show that all that was just out of my reach. In essence, I nearly felt like I was watching a movie of my life presented in small portions. So, as my eyes began to flutter open once more, I had to reorient myself as to where I even was. At first, I was thoroughly confused. Diaper and clothing from when I went under before, check. It meant that it was the same day, and I had to be thankful for that. Poofin in my arms, also check. But looking around, with my brain still coming out of the fog, the high walls of blue plastic and mesh made me feel trapped… consolidated to one spot forever and an eternity. Rubbing my eyes though, and even smacking myself lightly in the face, I recognized the area I was in… a playpen. I guess, to be more specific though, it was the playpen I had previously seen folded up to the side in the living room. It was a warning of the future I guess, but being in it now, it all suddenly felt all too real. I might have freaked right then, even with Poofin still snuggled up firmly within my arms, his soft texture prickling into my skin like tiny feathers passing along. But soon, a familiar face popped into my view from just beyond the barrier of the playpen. “Petey? You there?” It was Amanda. I nodded slowly. “Yeah? Am I… wha’ happened?” “Oh,” she said longer than usual, like she had just realized something. “Miss Linda said you might not remember when you came to eventually. I told her that you weren’t under for long, but I think she thought I was jus’ bein’ silly.” “And she’s…?” I worriedly looked around the room, but it still took me a second to spot Linda… talking with both my parents. “… and they were both just about as good as can be expected,” she explained carefully. “I think Petey might need some firmer structure in his life, like maybe a routine of sorts, but I got the hang of his quirks pretty quickly, and by the end, he was all smiles!” “Hey!” Knowing Linda how I did, it didn’t feel like she was lying… more just misinformed. So, I had to set the record straight. “I was under, dang it!” “Sweetie… shhh!” my mom chided me from above, pursing her single pointer finger to her lips. “No!” I felt like I was getting squashed again, and it was infuriating me something awful, so to emphasize my argument, I slowly got up on my feet. “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!” I stomped onto the padded surface, and it didn’t make much of an impact, but I felt my argument was far stronger that way. “I won’t stop!” “Oh dear…” Linda mused, her worried expression matching my parents… though admittedly there’s was also a mix of maybe frustration and even shame. It quickly confused me. “Pete…” my mom said with her usual caring and maternal tone. “Please… we need to hear what Linda has to say about how things wen…” “No!” I stomped again and balled my fists, waddling over to the side, before shaking the barrier slightly. “Let me out! I have a say about this too! I need to speak! Now, now, now!” I grunted and groaned in anger. I hadn’t been this angry in a really long time, and it felt like a fire that needed to be let out of my belly or else I would burst. “Pete! Stop,” my dad commanded, his face contorting to one of concern though, more than anger. I only shook my head and stomped more. “No! I said no! I won’t be quiet! I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!” “Honey…” Sighing, I saw my mom look over to my dad. He nodded back at her and then came over to collect me. “Okay, slugger. Come on…” Without any hesitation or groan, his previously youthful body lifted me up with ease and supported me up to his chest, wrapping his arms tight around me. I felt free… vindicated even. I was being taken out and as my dad started to walk away from the playpen, I felt I was finally going to be able to spew my vile all over this wretched babysitter. A good woman maybe, but not… ‘Wait…’ My dad was going the wrong way. Steps away from my mom and Linda, he hooked a right and quickly began trotting up the stairs. “Wait! Dad! No!” I began to struggle in his arms, but his tight hold of me seemed to refuse to budge, now clearly a pre-planned mode of ensuring I wouldn’t wiggle free once we started to walk away. At the top of the stairs, I heard Linda and my mom begin to talk once more. Just as we rounded the corner to head to my room, I heard a creep, and from my position over his shoulder, I could just make out Amanda following right behind us. “Alright, calm down there, buddy,” my dad said as we made it into my room. The forest atmosphere and dim lighting were admittedly already doing wonders to ease my mind. “I think we just need to take a timeout or two up here while Linda and your mom talk, okay?” “But dad!” I complained. “Linda was…” “No, no,” my dad commanded. “We can talk about her later, but I think right now, you need to get some z’s. I think someone’s feeling a little cranky from their very long day, huh?” And there it was. A simple sentence if there ever was one, but I just didn’t get it before. Now, to my embarrassment, I did. I was tired, yes, but more importantly, I was also cranky. Infasia was a shutoff of your brain in a way, and it was protecting itself, but it was still actively functioning. From the articles I had requested my parents to get for me and the few news stories I found and watched based on Infasia, many were comparing it to functions on a computer. Essentially, the memory and about half the processes were shut down or reduced, but the computer was still on… just with limited functionality. So, while I might not remember things from that time and my bodily functions and mental capacity might have been for my eventually bounce age, I was still awake… which meant now, when I came out of it, I was not only tired, but cranky as a result as well. Needless to say, I was a little distressed thinking about that. “Oh, easy, Pete. Easy,” my dad said, trying to comfort me. He was pretty good at it, having done this with me and my siblings before, but he was good… I felt I needed amazing. “Shhh, shhh… no worries. Just rest your head against me and take some deep breaths…” I tried and it seemed to be doing the trick… at least partially. “Daddy?” My dad’s hand rubbing circles into my back immediately slowed at the sound of Amanda’s voice. “Yes, sweet pea?” our dad asked as he maneuvered me about to more of a rocking position in his arms. “You need something?” I could see Amanda seemingly had a secret to tell. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but being partially obscured by the door, she then fully walked in and at the same time brought an object out from behind her back. Seeing the black soft coating once more, I recognized him immediately… it was Poofin. Logical or not, a giant surge of endorphins seemingly flooded my brain at seeing my old and reliable friend. He was starting to feel like both my tether to this world, and yet the very symbol of everything I was raging against in my life. He was the comfort I sought in the middle of the night after a nightmare of say… me wetting my pants in front of Molly and then being mocked by all my old office buddies at my previous job. It wasn’t real, but Poofin made sure those feelings of fear and despair quickly dissipated. Still feeling down about and embarrassed about my previous cranky tantrum, I only whimpered and held out my arms. Seeing Amanda hesitate, my dad smiled and beckoned her closer. “Come her, sweetie and give your brother Poofin. I think he needs him tonight.” No longer looking nervous in the slightest, Amanda grinned widely and practically skipped over to me before placing Poofin right in my arms. Feeling his embrace once more felt like a soothing balm over my weary soul. And likely seeing my worries at least temporarily abated, my dad walked over to my crib and gently me nestled down inside. “Goodnight, Pete. I’m sorry about tonight, but we’ll talk more in the morning.” I only nodded and cuddled intensely around Poofin. Smiling still, he ushered Amanda out of the room and switched off the overhead light, activating my small nightlight in the corner. “Love you, son.” I wanted to say it back, but he was already out of the room. And besides, as my eyes once again began to settle close, my mouth was otherwise occupied by my thumb. I might have freaked out about it then, but I only found comfort in the simple pleasure that it gave me. * * * The next morning came as swiftly as sleep had taken me. I awoke to a gnawing pain in my stomach and the usual wet diaper. I noticed that my thumb was once again slightly damp and pruny… another sign that I had utilized it in the night sometime. I didn’t fully remember doing it, but I shrugged and didn’t think much of it, only giving Poofin an extra squeeze. “Okay… is my grumpy little guy a ball of joy once more?” my mom sang, coming into my nursery next. She had long ago assumed that I would be in the midst of a bout of Infasia as I woke up, or at the very least, not caring anymore that she did that. I think it made her feel closer or somehow more caring to me, so, even when I wasn’t in the middle of Infasia, I just let her do it at this point. There was little point in freaking out over a little cheery cooing anymore. Oddly, it almost made me feel… safe. “Mornin’,” I said, the sleepiness of the previous night still clinging to me like the morning dew outside. “Much bettuh…” I shook my head a little, trying to manually shake the cobwebs out of my head… and I guess my tongue as well. “Better…” My mom sighed, clearly in relief. “Good. I…” She trailed off a little but then walked over to my crib and plucked me out before setting me on the changing table, making sure I faced her first though. “Well… there’s no easy way of saying this, but… I’m sorry about last night and Linda. As soon as she started telling us what was happening, which I guess was about the same time you came to, I realized that she had made a mistake.” “A mistake?” It felt like yesterday was now being trivialized with a simple platitude. “She… she…” I vividly recalled everything that happened before I actually lapsed into a bout of Infasia. I felt betrayed and wronged in so many ways, and while there was a part of me that wanted to chalk it up to a simple mistake, I felt like I wanted to burn everything down as well. My mom sighed and shook her head. “No, no. I would never trivialize what happened to you like that. I just…” I then could see the anguish and regret my mom had. I still disliked Linda, but even that tiny show of compassion told me that what had happened was only a mistake… not some way to sabotage me into becoming her true baby boy again. “I… I wanted to apologize for what happened. Your dad or I should have stayed… or at least switched off with each other so you wouldn’t have needed a sitter in the first place.” I was still extremely pissed at Linda, but I knew I had to concede a little bit on my side as well. My parents weren’t bad people… they were just juggling a bit too much all in a moment. “It’s… it’s okay. I just…” I made sure to stare at my mom directly in the eyes. “Just please don’t let that happen again.” My mom quickly nodded. “No, never again. Linda has apologized and wants to apologize to you directly at some point, but she has offered to come back and sit again for you and Amanda.” I immediately wanted to say no, but my mom was a little too quick for me. “She says she wants to learn and understand, and I think giving her another chance wouldn’t be the worst idea… but I’ll leave it up to you, sweetie.” “I…” I wanted to outright refuse, but again, maybe it was in effort to bolster my own mature image around my mom to compensate for my periods of Infasia… or the fact that I was sitting in a wet diaper right then. Regardless, though, I knew I needed to at least not slam the door in my mom’s suggestion. “I’ll… think about. No promises, okay?” My mom sighed in clear relief once more. “Understood… now… before we get to Lucas… let’s get you all ready for the day. Who knows how long it might be if you have to sit in that diaper and wait while your dad and I explain everything.” I wanted to protest the wait, but I knew it was probably just an attempt to ensure I heard everything and wasn’t distracted by a diaper that needed to be changed or a hunger in my tummy. So, we went through the motions once more like we did everyone morning now. Diaper change… a solitary bath… a change into clothes both juvenile and plainer than normal to mark my maturity when possible… and going downstairs for a seat in the booster and a nice breakfast that I could smell from the top of the stairs. Eating my oatmeal with little bits of fruit though, I noticed right away that my highchair wasn’t in its usual spot. I wasn’t using it, but it definitely had been used recently. ‘Linda…’ “Okay… change, shower, new clothes, breakfast… all done,” I said, still a bit annoyed that my parents were making me wait to hear about my brother. My one consolation in at all though was that I felt strongly that if he had been hurt… or was dead, they would have told me about it right away. “So, two things… first, I’m very sorry for how I acted last night. I…” “It’s okay, Pete,” my dad said promptly, holding his hand up to stop me from continuing. “We all talked after you passed out last night and I think it was a trying day for all of us, right?” Amanda and our mom nearby both nodded quickly. “So, unless there’s something more to it, then say no more. We understand.” I shook my head just about as quickly as they had nodded theirs. “Okay… then. More importantly I guess then, spill. How’s Lucas? Is he okay? Can you tell me that much at least now?” My parents looked at each other intensely for a moment, before my dad nodded and then turned to me. “Well… your brother got hurt. Had to have some surgery to repair his spleen and set his leg, but bottom line… he’s going to be okay now.” Surgery felt like something they should have told me before, and I also wondered why I hadn’t been told by Linda… at least until I realized that she likely thought I was in the midst of full-blown Infasia, and therefore probably couldn’t take the news then… or even remember it. “Well, that’s good at least.” I had about a thousand follow-up questions, but one still plagued me the most. “So… how did it happen? Was it a drunk driver? Or was someone texting? Or…?” “It was an AR,” my dad said bluntly. For a moment, everything seemed to freeze. I didn’t think my parents blamed me for what another AR did, but I could sense there was also maybe an underlying bitterness as well… at least to the AR responsible and ARV in general. “An AR?” I asked hesitantly, still seeing their cautious and resentful looks. “Yes, Pete,” my mom said with a sound of acceptance but anger as well. “But we don’t blame you… or even ARV. This whole thing is just… it’s hard to deal with for so many. This time… this time it just hurt someone we all care about deeply.” I wanted to note that it had hurt me… just looking at all I had lost and how I looked right then, still sitting in my booster sear in a turquoise t-shirt and stretch short that did little to hide the bulk of my diaper, but I felt that was too petty or selfish of me in the moment in comparison with my brother. He had to come first in this, so I pressed on. “So… the AR hit him, or…?” My dad nodded. “We couldn’t find out much, but we know at least is that the AR in question discovered that he had just slipped into a bout of Infasia. Apparently, his family didn’t handle it all very well and he understandably freaked out.” “Somehow… he got out of the car and took his dad’s car to escape everything.” I could sense my mom’s skepticism of how he did it without anyone seeing or stopping him, but she didn’t linger either. “He then went into a tailspin on the highway.” “Oh no…” I had heard this all before. It was one of the reasons I had my driver’s license essentially revoked months ago now. There were just too many accidents, and so, I knew without even hearing the rest of the story, what had happened. “Yes,” my dad confirmed. “His tailspin spun out of control and halfway into driving the car, he slipped back into Infasia. Went out of control and smashed into six cars. When they eventually pried him out of the car, he was hurt but alive… and deeply into the midst of a full-blown Infasia attack.” “Poor little guy… apparently, he was bawling at the top of his lungs and had completely ruined his clothing from an accident.” I could see her resentment lifting slightly, probably putting herself in his mom’s shoes right then. Her empathy was strong and while that was nice at some moments, I could see my dad giving her a strained look right then as well. Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. “But that’s why his license had been revoked already,” my dad emphasized. “Probably forgot how to drive, panicked, and then swerved into traffic.” Based on all the news stories when all this was first so common, I suspected my dad was right on the money. “Six cars hit, and Lucas got the brunt of it. One of the more severe and his car was totaled. I don’t care how badly he regressed right then. Someone needs to pay!” “Greg!” I could see right then that both he and my mom knew he had crossed the line. It was understandable, but I had seen that look before in her eyes. They probably already decided to drop all this before. “We talked about this… Lucas got hurt, another AR couldn’t control themselves, and now we did to deal with the aftermath.” My dad grimaced, and I could still see the bitterness in his heart to the AR who had caused the whole scene, but he sighed and nodded. “No, no… you’re right, honey. As always… you’re right.” “It’s okay…” she said back, sighing with a little hint that she hadn’t totally forgiven the AR either. “Besides… his family is going to be fined, and some might even face jail time depending on the investigation. Enough justice is being doled out that we don’t need to add in our own.” My dad nodded and I could see that both just wanted to drop it. Again, the blame of the AR still hung heavily in the air. Both my parents seemed resentful that an AR had hurt Lucas, and honestly, I felt a little to blame myself. Of course, I wasn’t responsible but, being the only member of the family with a severe case of ARV, as stupid as it was, I felt some degree of responsibility. Almost like a member of a group I was in had somehow violated our unwritten rules and was now making us all look bad. If I could have smacked him just once… I think I would have. I just hoped that others wouldn’t shift their blame of what happened onto ARs… we had enough problems in life, and we didn’t need the blame of yet another traffic accident hoisted on us now either. But then my mom asked the question I could tell was still lingering about after last night. “Pete… is your… uh…” I could tell what she was getting at, but I could also see her struggle to ask me about said subject as well. Considering how I acted last night and the AR that caused my brother’s accident though, I couldn’t blame her. “How is your Infasia? Is it… progressing?” I couldn’t help but sigh and I knew I had to admit the truth to them sooner or later. I’m pretty sure it was obvious when I went under completely… seeing a video my dad took the other week, I seemed playful and every inch a baby, but that was only half the story. In truth, for weeks now, I could feel it seep out of the edges and into my normal life as well. It was just here and there, but I could tell that the ‘me’ everyone had known for so long was being replaced by another… younger version of myself. “Yes… more full-blown incidents… but…” I didn’t want to admit it out loud. I wasn’t in denial… I knew it was happening but admitting it out loud made it feel more real for whatever reason. I wasn’t ready for it, but I couldn’t lie to my parents. “But I’ve been feeling it more in between as well…” “In between… you mean?” My mom stopped and her eyes widened. “Wait… is that what’s been happening lately? Like last night? You were here… I could see that, but you were different as well. You dad and I just thought you were cranky, but… it’s more, isn’t it?” I sighed but I ultimately nodded. “Yeah… I feel it coming, but then I think it’s just passed by, or at least I do until I think back on it later. Like Poofin…” “Like last night…” My dad was clearly recalling when I had attached myself so firmly to Poofin to ease my nerves. So, I had to admit the truth to him and nod. “I thought it was cute, but… I did kind of wonder. It’s not a problem, but… it was just… different.” The morning kind of progressed as usual, or at least as much as a usual Sunday could around the house lately. Amanda was dilly dallying in getting her hair all done up for the day and my mom was performing her usual dance routine in trying to finish the last of her barrettes into place. Dad was chilling and watching the news, but unlike usual, before the hour was even up, he turned the TV off and faced the three of us. “Alright, that does it. One more sign that we should go,” he announced loudly but without any context.” “Go?” my mom questioned, pausing briefly with my sister’s hair. “Go where, dear? What were you just watching?” “The fair, Karen. I want to go to the fair…” Each of us stared at him blankly and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! It’s the annual end of summer fair… they hold it every year, or least every year besides last year. We all used to go as a family before then though. So, I say why not go today?” It wasn’t the worst idea, and I knew that soon, the leaves would begin to change. I usually looked forward to it, but lately, the passage of time also meant more steps closer to my mind slipping out from me completely and diving deep into a long bout of Infasia like that was happening to Julia lately… or at the very least, getting even younger and losing yet another ability or physical feature. “I don’t know…” I could see my mom’s eyes drift over to the dishes and a stack of magazines she said that she was going to go through on Friday… and then again yesterday. “No, no…” I could see my dad had spotted her glance as well. “Think of it as an opportunity… you know… just in case…” He didn’t say it directly, but I could tell he was implying heavily about both me and Lucas. For me, he was confirming my own fears about my future, and for Lucas… well, that car of accident could have been much worse. My mom gave one last look at the dishes but ultimately sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I suppose they can wait.” She then snapped the last of the hair ties into Amanda’s hair and stood back up from her previous crouch. “I guess we have to pack then, right?” My dad smiled. “Right! Now, move out!” His orders clear, everyone broke apart and readied themselves as best they could. For him, it meant a shave and grabbing things like my stroller and the car keys. For my mom, it meant a touchup of her makeup and prepping my diaper bag after giving me a quick diaper change. As for Amanda and me… well, our duties were much less, but I could see her choosing which shoes to wear not long after, and for me… besides just going through another diaper change, more importantly, I had to decide on Poofin or no Poofin. He would be obvious, and I could see other kids making fun of me, but his comfort… ‘Ah! Screw it!’ I quickly grabbed him and made way to the front door, armed and ready for some fun today. Piling all in the car, it was a little weird to not have Lucas tag along as well. Between his college and my college years though, not everyone always had the time to make it, but his absence was still felt a little as I looked to my left. Amanda, in her little booster seat, took his spot, but I knew the back was very empty in his missing presence. Right then, I made a mental note to beg my parents to see him tonight. Getting on the freeway, everything seemed fine and completely free… or at least until one of the bouncier tunes Amanda liked to listen to on the radio paused briefly for a quick news announcement. “We bring you this breaking news… scientists studying to figure out the cause, origin, cure, and other such elements of the age regression virus, more commonly known as ARV, have made a breakthrough in determining what they are now labeling as being ‘stuck.’ Previously thought to be permanent, it seems to now be associated with strain, years lost, and the age one bounces at. More to follow at the top of the hour. Thank you.” The radio switched back to another joyful tune, heavily contrasting the news we all had just heard. It was a small victory, but also a damning one as well. For the pessimist, it was confirming that being ‘stuck’ at one’s bounce age was legitimate. The rumors had been flying for ages now, even despite the evidence of the younger ARs that had initially gotten regressed still stuck as newborns… over a year in now. So, for me, it hurt a little to know that even when I did bounce, I would likely have to endure at least a year of being treated as a baby. The optimist though, was more obvious… even getting ‘stuck,’ it wasn’t permanent. Both my parents turned back to see me when they were stopped at a little traffic, and I could only give them the thumbs up. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it exactly, but I just hoped that whatever was the final result, my own time being ‘stuck’ was on the low end. At this point, I felt like I had enough bad luck with ARV… I didn’t need any more. Parking in one of the periphery garages, I was once again placed in the stroller. My legs had gotten far too weak, and while the ride yesterday with Linda wasn’t ideal, it did make me realize that sitting inside, despite appearances for me, was probably the better option. Besides, it also housed the diaper bag and Poofin safely tucked away underneath… just in case on both accounts. Strolling out of the garage, a familiar site came into view once more… the town square. For months, it had been the main scene of so much turmoil with broken tanks and helicopters strewn about in a sort of mock memorial, especially when it was also flanked on all sides by a large fence with missing posters, each more devastating than the last. Now, the fence was still up, but the last of the posters had been moved, families going to other resources, or through ARSED raids on illegal facilities and communes that had taken several ‘lost’ babies in after Orange Day, many had been found. Inside the fence though, the construction was paused today, but much of the area not filled with decades old trees were full of stones and gravel. “Sign up now!” an elderly woman cheered from nearby, holding and waving a flyer above her head. “Enter the raffled and win a prize! Fund the memorial to all our victims here!” Stopping briefly, my mom was the first to ask. “Memorial? To Orange Day?” The old woman handed her a flyer and nodded. “That’s right. The mayor wants to erect a memorial for all to reflect on and think back on all the people we lost to the terrible disease.” “They’re not lost…” I said quietly, but the bustle going on behind her quickly drowned out my words. Amanda, being nearby and likely hearing me the best of all, looked at me with a smile and rubbed my leg in support. I still was amazed at how much she had changed since all this started… not only from Dr. Smothers, but natural growth as well. As if to emphasize that, she was already preparing to go to kindergarten in a few weeks. Finishing the sign up with a few bucks donated, we all pressed on. Vendors of all shapes and sizes lined the usually quiet garden paths or occasionally busy farmer’s market. Today, though, hundreds if not thousands crammed into the closed off streets for the final few days of the end of summer fair. Smells of baked goods, soaps, lotions, and sounds of music, wind chimes all poured into our senses as we entered. Of course, with Amanda in tow, all that seemed to thrill her… but none so much as the bouncy house pushed off to the side. “Ooh! Ooh! That one first!” Grabbing onto my dad’s hand, I don’t think he was quite prepared for her low center of gravity and her sheer determination to go over and play there. “Okay, okay!” he said, finally righting himself back upward and following quickly along behind my sister. “Bouncy house first then, I guess.” Both my parents chuckled, and I discovered the main negative about being in a stroller… I had no say in the direction I was going. I was a king being chauffeured around… but on a preset path completely out of my control. What I could control though, was to let off a little steam and frustration that had been building since yesterday. Unfortunately… the buckles holding me into place in the stroller were just a bit beyond my control. “Ugh! Let me! Ugh! Out… of this thing!” “Easy, easy there, honey,” my mom consoled, dropping down to let me out herself. For her, it almost looked like she could have breathed on the buckles to undo them. It was a blow to my ego, but I was determined to have some stress-reducing fun. “Alright… bye you…” “And just where do you think you’re going?” my mom asked, already poised on the same level as me to quickly catch me before I had gotten even more than a step beyond my stroller. “But… the bouncy house,” I noted, pointing to the large mass before me, all wiggling around and dancing like it was alive beyond just the kids horsing around inside. “Oh, no,” she said, her voice turning stern. “I’m not letting you anywhere near the inside of that thin…” “Karen…” My dad popped in from behind her and wrapped his arms around her chest. “Let him have a little fun today. Maybe get Amanda to watch out for him… you know she would love that.” I could see the hesitation in my mom’s eyes but also saw them roll as well. “Fine… Amanda!” Amanda stopped bouncing and came back over, looking all sheepish as if she had just done something wrong. “Pete’s going to join you. Can you…?” She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Can you watch over him? Keep him safe in there?” “Oh, absolutetively, mommy!” I could hear her excitement, especially to the point of using one of her made-up words that my parents found so adorable. Seconds later, I was hoisted on up inside and guided in by my her, still smiling wide. It was an experience to say the least… I was already pretty wobbly on my feet at that point. I had the strength to still stand, but I think my hand-eye coordination was just off these days. It was frustrating and I had to slow a lot, but I got over it… except in a bouncy house, there is no getting over it. I guess in there, my one saving grace was that when I fell… and I fell a lot, I was at least able to hit something relatively soft. It took something out of me to stay even upright, but the few times I could, I bounced to my heart’s content. Finally, I was able to let out some of my frustration… at least until we were called to get out to move on with our day. I was a little disappointed at that, but with all the smells wafting toward us, it was no surprise that our next stop was the various food stalls. Sadly though, it just meant another caveat to my life… namely, my mom cutting up my food. Sure, I didn’t have to do it, but seeing my hotdog cut into more manageable bites… it did take a little out of the experience. Next, all our bellies full and our ears ringing from one of the bands performing nearby, we all made it to the shopping areas. Everything from puzzles, to fudges, to soaps, to wind chimes, to stained glass. It was almost a situation of if you can imagine it, then it was there. Having no money on me, I could only point to things I wanted… but even that was limited. So, of course, I grew bored… like Amanda, which is I guess why she soon begged to get her face painted. There was a bit of a line, and letting Dad go to get a drink of a newly developed lager beer, Mom waited in line with us patiently. Fortunately, that gave just enough time for Amanda to see the exact design she wanted. So, hopping into the chair, she was barely settled when she smiled and pointed to the middle picture in the whole array of designs. “Unicorn please!” The attendant at the stall smiled and nodded. “Why, of course. Seems like a perfect match to me, right mom?” “Oh, absolutely,” she agreed, swiping her card to pay for the experience. Honestly, right then, I think she was just happy to keep Amanda occupied and that it wasn’t too hot that the makeup would just sweat right off before too long. Still, soon enough, Amanda right side of her face was covered by a unicorn head, a rainbow, clouds, and several groupings of sprinkles. “Yay! Thank you so much!” She gave the stranger a hug, and I definitely could see her surprise, but she did smile as well. “Oh, well, you’re very welcome, sweetie.” Amanda let go, but then most unexpectedly, she turned to me. “Okay. Up on the seat, mister man.” “What?” I hadn’t even considered getting my face painted, but I guess my mom did. “Go on, honey.” Take a seat and choose which design you want. You know you want to…” Not wanting to make a fuss, I sat down and recalled the dozens of times that I had gotten my face painted when I was younger the first time around. Dragons, superheroes, monsters… you name it, I got it. Several of our summer family trips showed the artistic skill of at least two dozen artists within a 500-mile radius of here. So, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still took me a minute to process everything and just give in and select a design. Not long later, I was sporting a fearsome pirate makeup look. A mock eyepatch over one eye, a goatee, and a sickening scar going down my left cheek all added to the illusion. “Oh my!” my mom cried out, mocking her fright to my new face. “Woah! Awesome choice there, Pete!” my dad said after taking a sip of his new perspiring beer. The lady painting holding up the mirror, I looked into it and saw just what they were talking about. I had gotten a similar look back in first grade when we went to a theme park to the east of here, but this stuck me differently. I tried to think of why, but it then hit me. Before, I had never sported a goatee in my life, and I had maybe one or two scars at most. Since then, I had a phase in college where I grew out a beard, and I most definitely had acquired scars. Looking at my reflection, it was hard not to remember that both were now long gone in my life. “Thank you…” It came out meekly and the lady didn’t seem to need to be told anymore, giving me a smile and then a hand down off the chair. Still, I walked away with an odd feeling. We did a little more shopping, but the day was growing short, and I could feel a bit of drowsiness begin to overtake me… or at least it did until Amanda squealed with excitement as she spotted the final corner of the fair. Coming every year, there were several farm exhibits, and next door, there was a traveling carnival of sorts. Coming to it first, Amanda spotted the immensely tall slide, measuring at least 20 feet up in the air at the top. I wanted to go as well, and both of us asked our parents if we could go alone, but for us two, the response was very different from our mom. “Okay, Amanda. You can go this time by yourself. Just go nice and slow up the stairs, okay?” She nodded enthusiastically before sprinting off. My mom sighed but then turned to me. “And Pete… I can’t let you go by yourself. If you want though, I can go with you instead.” I turned to my dad, to see if I could get his support in me going by myself, but he just shook his head. So, resignedly, I knew that it was accompaniment or not at all. “Fine… come on. I don’t want Amanda to think I chickened out or anything.” My mom didn’t say anything and just prompted me up the stairs. Halfway and still holding our discarded bags from earlier, my dad called out to us. “Just keep going! I’ll be there for you at the bottom!” Now, I wasn’t sure why, but for all my life, I had been a thrill junkie… at least until recently. It was the oddest thing, and maybe it had something to do with being smaller or my emotions being more in flux, but getting to the top of the slide, I saw Amanda go first… and my legs practically turned to jelly. “Whee!” she cried all the way down. Looking over the edge a little bit, I saw her plummet to the bottom and then our dad catching her at the bottom. Both looked thrilled, but now it was my m mom and I’s turn… and I could barely move. “You okay, sweetie?” I tried to answer, but my lips just wouldn’t budge… along with my legs. “It’s okay, ma’am,” the man at the top said. “Happens all the time.” He then peered behind us. “No one’s coming though, so take your time, but also… no shame in deciding to opt out.” “No!” I then grimaced and realized I had accidentally yelled that, so I tried to calm myself down and speak with a speck of maturity. “I mean… no, sir. I’ll be good. I just…” He smirked and nodded. “No worries. My brother is the same way. Coaster junkie before if there ever was one. Kid nearly shook to death after going on a log flume ride last month. Strangest thing, but I’ve seen it a lot lately with other ARs.” I forgot about how obvious it was that I was an AR sometimes to other people. “He’s right,” my mom chimed in. “I’ve heard from others too, and it’s okay to just walk back down the stairs… but if you really want to go, we can.” I debated about it, but I shook my head. Amanda may or may not have judged me, but I didn’t want to take the chance… and besides, I would have judged myself. So, my mom made sure to sit first on the burlap sack we had brought with us, and with his foot on the sack, the attendant then guided me snugly into place between her legs. She then gripped me tight before giving me two quick squeezes. “Ready?” I couldn’t answer… just nod my head. “Alright… shove please?” “You got it.” The attendant then leaned over and before I knew it, we were pushing forward. I didn’t close my eyes, and I was proud of myself for that, but I can fully admit… my diaper definitely got warmer going down that thing. It was over in seconds, but I felt the plunge in my heart and the wind suddenly rushed all around me. In a blink though, we were done. “You made it!” my dad cheered. “Yay, Petey!” Amanda then joined in. It was a brief triumph in the day, but Amanda had her eyes already set on our next stop. “Ooh! Petting zoo!” She was nothing if not predictable and both my parents and I all chuckled a little at her eagerness. Having done all this before, going over, it was no surprise to anyone that she immediately gravitated to the pony. Her belief that she was a knight or a princess, depending on the day, was impressive. As for me though, I was never a huge animal lover growing up. Sure, I liked cats and dogs and tolerated all kinds, even including snakes. But a lover had always just escaped my grasp, and that was okay to me, but today, I wanted to take advantage of as much as I could… at least while I could still enjoy everything with my adult brain that is. So, I wandered through the fenced areas and intermingled with the pigs, the geese and ducks, and even some bunnies… but then I came to the goats. I guess I should have read further, or maybe my parents should have been following me more, but I saw their feed and thought it was a good idea to feed them. It just made sense to me… but I forgot one crucial detail. I had regressed since the last time I came up to a goat, and when hungry, they tended to push. Not an issue when you’re at least multiple times their size, but I wasn’t that anymore. So, when I put my hand out with the feed, they all came to me. I panicked and backed up… only to trip over and fall right on my butt. It was a small thing really, and despite the slight sting, muffled admittedly by my diaper, I felt proud of myself for keeping it together. Even as the goats scrambled for the dropped feed, I felt proud of myself for not freaking out. Unfortunately, though, as I began to stand, I felt a small blurb of gas. I didn’t think anything of it… until I stood more and let out a bigger fart. I realized the signs and panicked. I need to go bad, but part of me was used to all that by now. My control wasn’t stellar by any means anymore, and timing was everything. So, I felt staying calm was best… and I did. But as I stood, the cramps became almost painful… but easy too. I was barely standing though, still with a little hunch, and I guess it was too much. And I felt a soft load exit without any force right into my diaper. ‘Oh no…’ I had thought of this one moment for months now. Especially when you’re told ‘under five’ and then worse of ‘under three,’ losing one’s potty training becomes a natural and horrifying part of the conversation. I was in Building 4 because of wetting my pants that one fateful day after all but going ‘poo-poo’ as some of the attendants called it… that was a whole new territory for me… at least while I was aware of it. It didn’t take long for my mind to put it together initially. After all, food plus digestion equals going ‘poo-poo.’ There are even books about it that line some of the shelves at the daycare in Linfield, but I though I had been spared, still going occasionally on the potty. But it didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t going enough. So, I checked the design of my diaper one day… and found that it had changed. Confronting Miss Bea about it, she had informed me the truth. Under Infasia, I had pooped my diaper. So, pooping my diaper today wasn’t new, but this was the first time I was aware of it. All other times before, no matter how close, I still made it to the training potty. And now, here I was… in the middle of a crowd and with my family out and about. I tried to see if anyone had seen, but everyone seemed to be distracted by their own lots… except for my mom, I guess. Being a mom, I suppose meant that her eyes were almost always on me while we were outside of the house when she could. I had never really paid much attention to it before, but now… I couldn’t just ignore it, especially as she came up to me and bent down. “Oh, sweetie. Are you okay? I saw you fall over.” She wasn’t mentioning it before, but if she had seen one, she had probably seen the other. Still, I played partially dumb. “No, no… I’m fine. Just… unexpected.” Her fingers and eyes were going all over my body, and I didn’t even think about it, but they stayed away from one area in particular. Finally, she stopped, and gave me a long, hard look right in the eyes. “Okay… you seem to be fine… but…” She trailed off for a second before looking around and then leaning into me as she whispered. “Did you have an accident though, sweetie?” They were simple words, but earth-shattering at the same time. I felt like they were going to change everything, but I could already feel the weight of the lump now seated in my diaper, and I knew that without each passing moment, it would only get worse. So, without much choice, I knew I had to admit my problem and nodded my head. “Oh, Pete…” I could hear her sympathy run through her words, but her actions spoke louder as she soon gave me a tight hug, squeezing me up against her. The comfort was unparalleled and I’m not too proud to admit that at that moment, I think, it was one of the few things that kept me from falling apart right on the spot. After, instead of making a big deal out of it though, she kept nearly silent about it, even go as far as t suggest we split up to give Amanda more fun while giving me a little rest. My dad seemed a bit suspicious, but my mom’s tone of voice made it clear that it wasn’t a suggestion. Truthfully though, with some of the thrill rides that Amanda wanted to go on next, I don’t think anyone really minded splitting up. So, that’s how I found myself holding my mom’s hands and toddling over to the public changing stalls. A little removed from the rest of the fair, they were actually kind of peaceful… except for a few obviously ARs who were still new to being diapered. Thrashing all over the place, it was about a miracle that no one got a foot or a smack to the face from them. Holding them tight, their caregiver could only struggle to keep ahold of them while mouthing ‘sorry’ to practically everyone in the vicinity. Regardless, we were soon inside, and I was just grateful that it was a single stall where my mom and I were utterly alone. It made the next moments infinitely easier than they would have been otherwise… especially as my diaper was soon untaped and the filth coating my backside was wiped away. It was a truly terrible feeling but right before the main process and just as tears began to form in my eyes, my mom had calmly handed me Poofin. As such, right as my legs were lifted up, I proceeded to bury myself in his soft plush form. “All done!” my mom cheerfully rang not long after she had finished taping up the last adhesive on my diaper. “Let’s get you all sorted and go for a rest, huh?” Squeezing Poofin even more, I could tell that a nap was fast approaching in my day. Exiting, I could feel the exhaustion of the past today and yesterday once again catching up with me. I was fully rested last night, but my little body just didn’t have the energy to fully sustain itself anymore. Likely seeing me begin to fade, instead of simply rejoining Amanda and our dad, she instead wandered over to a bench nearby an overlook. I honestly didn’t think much of it, at least until we sat down, and I could hear the rushing of water. Rising from my stupor ever so slightly, I looked out and saw the overlook and the stairs that led down to the riverfront entertainment district… my old stomping grounds before I could no longer make it back out here. I thought back to all the clubs I frequented so much in my youth… to Simon’s Big Top Playhouse… to Oliver. I still thought of him and his seemingly unchanged ways from before he regressed. All that felt so long ago now… and almost didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. For example, once again feeling sleepy, I leaned into my mom as Poofin lay entwined in my arms, for once, feeling completely fresh and dry. ‘Yes… a very long ago now…’ Seeing me, my mom shifted about a little to capture me up even more. I didn’t mind. Her side was comfortable and safe… and her steady breathing was a calming motion for my worried mind. Right then, anything else that I had been thinking or worrying about, like my messy diaper that had just been changed and what all that meant, slowly didn’t seem to matter anymore. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” my mom asked, staring out over the river just beyond the buildings and the nightlife scene that was just starting to come alive as the sun barely began to touch the tops of the roofs on its way to setting. “Uh-huh…” I mumbled, already feeling my eyes begin to shutter close for a much-needed nap. My mom chuckled briefly and stroked my hair tenderly. “It’ll be okay, Pete. Just rest your head against me… yes, just like that…” I felt powerless under her sway. Months ago, that would have been a bad thing; just another attempt by her to baby me, but now… it was different. Now, her words were soothing and meant to calm my frazzled nerves. She was a rock for me and a guide and a cure for my troubled days. No tricks, no problems… calm, care, and love. “Close your eyes if you need to, sweetie. It will be alright. You let me worry about all that other hard stuff… you just focus on having fun and relaxing now. That’s it… There you go…” I closed my eyes as if on command, but really just not feeling the energy any longer. Weekends were supposed to be relaxing and a way to recharge, but with my new life, there was no escape. So, when I was told to relax, I did. And more importantly, right then, when I was told that everything was going to be alright, despite any evidence to the contrary, somehow, I fully believed that as well. Soon, all that mixed together seamlessly and I drifted off, content in the knowledge that no matter how I felt, because of my family… everything might just turn out okay.

Hey everyone! A bit of a longer chapter, hence a later than usual post time, but I wanted to get this up before too much later, still trying to stick to a schedule with these and finish likely on 31 March. Also, with the things going on here, I absolutely didn’t want to shortchange any scene by simply rushing through everything. I definitely could have even doubled my original draft for this, but I think this still came out alright. Next, just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2 or 13. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 22: Forced or not… I Don’t Think I’ll Be the Same I sighed, leaning back on the couch as the cartoon owl, Mr. Hoot, continued to fly through the screen, explaining the water cycle. It was a simplistic program for sure, but Mr. Hoot’s House of Learning was a small way I was keeping myself both sane and mentally sharp. Designed for ARs specifically, it did cater to both the tastes of those in or out of Infasia, but it presented three programs throughout the day covering everything from basic arithmetic up to calculus or geography or even art history. Sometimes, it got a little boring for my mind to follow, but it always made sure to pick back up not long after and be fun and engaging enough to keep me occupied for a solid chunk of time. Plus, with it catering to several ages, it was non-violent, so my parents allowed me to watch it even when Amanda was around. “Pete,” my dad called from the other room, “can you turn that off and come and help us get ready today?” I sighed a little and turned back to him. “I can… but honestly… I’m not sure how much help I’m going to be.” I then held up my little hands, according to my mom, clocking in around 25 or 26 months old… just above the higher end of my bounce age. “Not entirely useful these days… in case you forgot.” My dad sighed. “Fair enough, but I think you can still help worth a few things. Come on over and do a check to see if we packed everything.” “Roger that!” I could have argued more to continue watching Mr. Hoot and all his little forest friends explain next about the forest biome, but I didn’t want to push it… at least not right then when something like ice cream was involved. Geeting over there, I definitely had to make sure to watch where I was stepping. Walking wasn’t an issue, but my coordination wasn’t ideal, and I still wasn’t used to my smaller steps. The diaper also didn’t help, but having worn it for over two months now, I was at least getting used to it… for better or worse. Looking inside, I noticed the various assortments of sandwiches, vegetables, and fruit, all kept cool by the three ice packs that had also been added. “Is all this for us?” I asked, not believing the sheer amount of food I was seeing now. My parents both chuckled. “It’s really not a lot, Pete,” my dad insisted as my mom continued to pack a few other bags… like my diaper bag on the countertop. “You’re just…” “No… don’t say it,” I insisted. “I walked right into it, but… just… don’t.” “Okay, okay. I won’t but is everything good for the picnic?” He then bent down low and gave a quick check himself, his being a little less thorough than mine was. “Yep! Everything’s good,” I confirmed. “One picnic lunch for the five us all ready to go. Now, we’re just waiting for Lucas to get over here. Where is he anyways?” “I think he said he needed to help Kevin move the rest of his stuff into their new place” my mom interjected. “He told me on Wednesday that it was taking a lot longer than I think either of them realized.” “Could have ditched the beer pong table…” I muttered. “What was that?” my dad asked, raising one of his eyebrows skeptically. “Oh… nothing. Just… thinking out loud about…” I looked down and tried to think of anything else. Lucas was 23, almost 24, so it wasn’t a matter of legality, but I knew our dad didn’t approve of college parties either. So, spotting one item missing, I realized I had my out. “Drinks! We need drinks.” “Uh-huh…” My dad was clearly skeptical, but considering the hot August day, drinks were too much of a missing item to go unanswered. So, he simply went over to the refrigerator and pulled out several options. Fortunately, he reached for a juice box for me instead of a sippy cup, like I was now using pretty frequently. It wasn’t that I absolutely needed it, but it was more of a matter of convenience. If I had a bout of Infasia holding it, I wouldn’t get it over my clothes, like had happened a few weeks ago, and honestly, I just didn’t have to think too hard about drinking. Instead, I could just enjoy whatever beverage I had in front of me, but a nice juice box of apple juice worked just fine for me today. “So, what’s this movie about again?” my mom asked after checking her watch for at least the third time, now clearly trying to distract herself over the fact that Lucas still wasn’t here. “Something about tomb raiders… it’s an action movie Lucas recommended to me,” I explained. Both my parents were hesitant about some of the stuff I watched lately, probably fearing me slipping into Infasia and continuing to watch something bloody and violent, but it was the one point they were willing to concede on with my new life. Also, due to just everything going on lately, it had been a while since any of us had gone out to see a movie… at least not one that had tons of sparkles, kid’s jokes, or pink in it. Amanda was a wonderful kid, especially now that she had turned her previous ill-placed jealousy of me into a pretty firm stance of protection and affection. Dr. Smothers had done her work well, but regardless, her tastes often dictated our schedule. So, Lucas and I teamed up and convinced her to insist on going to a friend’s house today instead. We would all still enjoy a picnic lunch on a quiet Saturday afternoon together, but the movie was strictly for older eyes only. Gratefully, due to her playdate with her good friend from preschool, she didn’t seem to mind. “I heard it got some pretty great reviews,” I continued, trying to butter my mom up to be more enthusiastic about the selection. She was more of a romcom lover, but she also enjoyed the company of her family as well and wanted us all to feel included and happy. So, for today, that meant seeing more of a guy flick. “I heard that even that one actor… oh what’s his name? Harry? Bill? I’m not sure exactly, but super famous and he’s even rumored to join the new Spi…” The telephone rang and stopped us all cold. My parents still insisted on the louder ringtone. It nearly gave everyone a heart attack, but no one ever missed a phone call from simply not hearing it. Being nearer to it, my mom picked it up. “Hello. Crichton residence. This is Karen. May…?” She then stopped before she could finish her usual dialogue. “Yes… yes…” Her tone grew serious and the previous smile over her face quickly vanished. Without warning, not long after, she dropped the phone. It was just to the countertop, so it didn’t shatter or anything, but it was alarming, nonetheless. “Karen!” My dad hurried over to her right as I saw Amanda walking into the room. Before he got over to her though, she just pointed at the phone with wide and traumatized eyes. Picking it up slowly, my dad then pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?” I could then hear a few murmured words exchanged over the line to him as I walked over to my mom, now being pestered by my younger sister. “Mommy! Mommy!” Amanda asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with her. “What’s happening?” “Shhh!” My dad gave Amanda and I both the warning look to not speak up. Violating his unspoken directive would mean a one-way ticket to a loss of privileges… like TV time, so we both remained silent. Keeping my eye on my dad though, I made my way over to my mom and hugged her leg. Amanda soon joined me and then I saw it… the pain in my mom’s eyes. And I guess right then, everything clicked in my head. Both my parents growing silent over a phone call… my mom’s horrible silence and initial reaction… my dad now rushing over to furiously scribble something out, almost like his life depended on it. I didn’t want to think it’s horrible thoughts, but my mind maybe going to more pessimistic places these days, could only think of a single question that might be horribly answered in the next few minutes: where is Lucas? “Thank you… yes… at least one of us will be right there… yes… thank you and… you too…” Slowly, my dad lowered the phone and clicked the disconnect button before looking at to the three members of his family, dreading but still waiting on an answer. “It’s… it’s… It’s your brother. Lucas has been in a car accident.” It felt like the air had just been sucked out of the room. Everything sickeningly snapped together in my mind like some twisted puzzle finally revealing itself. “He…” I was at a loss for words, and both my parents seemed to be as well. Only Amanda seemed capable of saying anything. “No!” she wailed. She was still a kid, but she was becoming aware of what was going on around her more and more every day. “He…” I was still struggling to comprehend it all, but finally, I managed to spit something out. “Is he… is he alive?” Both my parents looked at me with horror, but I think the realization of both their kids here being left in the dark must have hit them. We weren’t stupid and their reactions were serious. Trying to fill in the blanks, most other conclusions just seemed wrong to at least not ask that most important question. Gratefully, my dad shook his head. “No… he’s just been in an accident. I think his car got totaled, but… I need to go to him. The nurse I was speaking to didn’t know all the details… just that one of us should be there. We’ve gotta… I…” He then shook his head. “We’ll do the picnic another day. Promise.” Amanda and I nodded sullenly. “I want to go too…” I pressed. I wasn’t sure what it was all going to entail, but I wanted to be there for the one person that had been there all this time for me. Amanda and our parents had both made their amends and truce with me now, each relationship just growing stronger now, but Lucas had consistency since the beginning… or at least about as close to the beginning as one could get. That had to count for something. “Me too!” Amanda insisted as well. Hearing her though, I knew it was going to be a ‘no’ for both of us. As much as I wasn’t a kid, there were just certain times that I got lumped into with her. Going to places with complications seemed to be one of them. “No… you two need to stay here.” Amanda whined a little, but our mom dropped to the floor and gathered us in before looking at us with one of the most serious looks I had ever seen from her. “I wish you two could come with us. Lucas would love to see you. It’s just… the hospital is going to be a big and scary place… lots of unknowns. It’s going to be chaotic, stressful, and… long.” Right away, I knew it meant two different things for Amanda and I. For her, it meant possible boredom and keeping an eye on her so that she wouldn’t accidentally unplug someone’s oxygen or something of the sort. For me, it catered more to the side of what that would entail for my care… like a diaper change being needed in a public place, and it also meant that with all the stress… a bout of Infasia could be a very real possibility. And at that point, I would have been even worse than Amanda in that environment. Still, I had to try for a hope of another solution. “So then… can we just stay here by ourselves?” For the first time since the phone rang, my dad’s face grew serious, and I could almost sense the rejection in the air. “Absolutely not! For both of you, that’s just a bad idea waiting to happen. I’ll be darned if I leave you two alone and then wind up with two or even all three of you in the hospital by the end of the day.” “Agreed,” my mom chimed in, “but maybe I have another idea…” Minutes later, the plan began to unfold… much to my dismay. “Mom… please… not a babysitter.” My mom sighed for what must have been at least the tenth time in the past few minutes. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but we really don’t have much choice here.” She kept unpacking the bag that was to be used for our picnic, now postponed for who knows how long. “You heard me on the phone. I tried ARSED, but they insist they’re too swamped today for such a last-minute request and so can’t provide a designated ARV sitter.” It didn’t take her practiced fingers long to separate out the five meals packed within, now three of them going in the refrigerator for some time later. “I would have considered Linfield, but Amanda needs to be cared for as well, and we have no idea how long we’re going to be at the hospital. Plus, I would think you all would feel much more comfortable staying at home… just in case we find out any news and call back here.” Her logic was sound… if not disappointing. “Ugh! Fine…” I knew a losing battle these days when I saw one. With all the factors considered, a babysitter for Amanda and I would have to do. Setting Amanda’s and I’s lunch to the side to plate for our lunch hurriedly, my mom paused for a brief moment and looked at me with a long and sullen face, likely partially from the news of Lucas but also just as likely to be partly in sympathy for my situation now. “I did make sure to hire Linda, Pete. She’s still considered the best in the neighborhood. Every mom raves about her, saying she’s great and a real pro. Also, when we got her last month right before you came back to us, Amanda thought she was great.” Her mind then seemed to drift off. “That was a really great night… definitely a good last glass of wine…” She shook her head as if to try and force those thoughts out manually. “It was a good night out between your dad and I, and coming back, I don’t remember any issues with her.” It was a good review, but there was one problem. “Okay, fine… she’s a real asset to the neighborhood. But what about experience with ARs?” From my mom’s more painful expression, I could tell that it was the one sticking point in using her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I tried to find a sitter with specific experience with ARs, but it’s just not a common listing on babysitter ads still.” Two months ago, I might have been offended and stormed out of the room, thinking this was some plot to trick me or have her go on some sort of ‘mommy trip,’ but that was then. Now, I knew that between her need to go see Lucas herself and the last-minute nature of everything, plus our mended bond, Linda was likely the best she could do. “Please, Pete…” she implored. “At least try her for me. Today’s been really difficult and…” I could tell the news about Lucas and all the unknown things about his accident were still heavy on her mind. At this point, trying to be a good mom to all three of us was stretching her thin, and I could feel the part of my brain protesting all this quiet down a little bit. “I’m really sorry… I hope you believe that, and I promise… as soon as I can, I’ll reach out to Agent Carlyle and figure out what to do in the future if an emergency situation like this ever happens again.” I prayed it didn’t, at least something like a car accident, but I knew with my dad’s work being as time-consuming as it was, there were a whole host of reasons that could pull both away and Amanda and I would now need a sitter. It was humbling, but I also knew my mom needed a break somewhere today. Amanda was off in her own little world, being heavily distracted by another episode of Princess Mondy, dad was readying the car and ensuring everything was going to run smoothly when they arrived at the hospital, and my mom really was doing her best. So, despite my hesitation about all this, I nodded. “I will, mom. I’ll try my best.” Acknowledging my words at least, she then pulled me into a little hug before going back to fixing Amanda’s and I’s lunch. The sandwich was delightful and even Amanda’s smacking, and our parents constantly reminding her to chut her mouth while she was eating, it felt like a nice peaceful moment. Lucas’ status was still looming heavily on my mind, but it was a lull… especially contrasted with the feeling I had once I heard the front doorbell ring. “Coming!” my dad shouted, hustling to the front door as my mom made a few preparations for some items for the hospital… just in case they had to stay longer than anticipated. Remembering back to when I broke my leg in high school, my parents stayed for hours into the early hours of the morning… just making sure I was okay. I heard a few muffled voices from the front, but soon, a bubbly and dark blonde early 20s woman walked in, her ponytail and bag over her shoulder giving her an on-the-go type of look. Her college shirt was a nice touch as well, a poignant reminder of our visible physical age difference now. “Hello again, Mrs. Crichton,” she greeted my mom warmly. My mom returned the favor, and Linda went right to work with Amanda and I, leaning over and giving Amanda a wave. “Hey there, little princess. Miss me?” A cucumber slice still munching around in her mouth, she slid off her seat and went over to give her a big hug. “Miss Linda!” It was a nice sign that our mom hadn’t been embellishing her satisfaction of the sitter, but my insides still lurched a bit when she broke off from the hug and turned her attention toward me. “Oh, and you must be Petey,” she said, adopting more of serious tone towards me. As much as that sounded harsh or unfriendly, it was readily apparent it was more of a sign of respect, especially in the near similarity to her voice when talking to my parents previously. “Pete… please…” I still felt my raw nerves bubbling around, trying to figure her out, but I knew I had to keep a good impression of her. My parents were stressed enough, and I didn’t want to add to their burden. While emergencies were one thing, barring them, I knew I needed to make this work. “It’s good to meet you.” Still sitting on my booster seat to eat, I had to stay put, but I made sure to offer my hand to shake. Smiling and not seeing any fear over a nearly two-year-old talking so well was a good sign. Her shaking my hand back was another. “it’s very good to meet you, Pete.” I could see my mom smiling from behind her, and once our shake was over, Linda turned back to her. “Okay, anything changed I need to know about? Numbers? Emergencies? New allergies?” Utilizing my dad to get me out of the seat, I retreated over to the living room while my mom shared all the crucial points of information with Linda. Amanda seemed content to stick by her side through the process, but I just wanted to hide myself in a good book instead. There at least, I could imagine myself as any one of the heroes and be far away from all this. Still, I think Amanda got a little bored, especially when I heard them talk about the most minute of details. And, with a warning not to turn the TV back on from our dad, Amanda wandered over to me. Sighing, I put my book down seeing her step into the room with me. “So… Linda… is she as good as you’re making her look like?” Amanda gave me a questioning look briefly and I knew I had to make it simpler… something binary… good or bad. “Okay… uh, well… is she a good babysitter? Or a bad one?” “Oh… she’s pwetty good…” Picking up one of her discarded dolls, she stroked the platinum locks back. “Just… watch out fo’ her an’ pay attention…” I wasn’t sure if I liked that last part, sounding more like a warning than praise, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by our parents getting to the front door. Seeing a nearby clock, despite everything packed in, it was still less than 30 minutes since we had received the phone call about Lucas. Dad wanted to go on ahead, but Mom insisted on going together. In the end, she won out. Rushing up on them both, Amanda gave the first round of goodbyes. Following up, I gave the second. Both standing back up, our dad looked at his watch. “Okay… not sure when we’ll be back, but you two might be in bed by then.” “Oh, no worries,” Linda noted casually from the doorway back to the kitchen. “Take as much time as you need with Lucas. I’m sure we’ll do just fine here.” Our mom nodded looking over at our new sitter. “Thank you, Linda.” She then turned back to us, and I could see she didn’t want to leave us but also seemed to be compelled to go as well. “Whenever we get back… well, until then, just listen to Linda. She can be pretty fun if you let her…” I knew that comment was directed at me, but I couldn’t dwell on it. A few more goodbyes later, and our parents were gone… leaving Amanda and I alone with a genuine babysitter. “Okay you two… I’m going to tidy a few things your parents left lying around. How about you two go play together? I find sibling bonding can sometimes be the best thing for a few sad hearts.” She then bent low and smiled at both of us. “But if you do get bored or want a little space apart, just let me know and I can easily jump in, okay?” We both nodded but then scampered off. Since I had gotten back from Linfield and after Amanda had protected me at the playground from the other bullies, we had become close once again. Our dynamic had certainly changed, but we were at the point now where despite how much Amanda seemed to truly like Linda, she preferred to be with me. Besides, I was pretty good at voices and her, and her knight dolls and the like seemed to need a helping hand. So, after a few shuffles and arrangements downstairs in the family room, Amanda insisted on being the princess again and being kidnapped by the evil Bun Eie. Her creativity was impressive, but I had a fleeting but odd thought… Poofin would make a much better monster for her game. He would be able to tower over her princess doll and he was always reliable and… I shook my head and focused on the task before me. Poofin was good upstairs… all alone. I didn’t need him… he was good. I was good… and there was nothing more to it then that. But like most good things, even as the evil Bun Eie carried off the princess, all that came crashing down with yet another ring at the doorbell. With Amanda stopping, I knew there were few forces on Earth that could pry her away from the final scenes of her princess being rescued. In this case, it was her friends. So, minutes later and being apprised of the situation, Amanda’s friend’s mom clarified the timing of her stay, promised to return her before dinner, and took off. Only waving goodbye, once out the door, Amanda seemed to pay me little attention. I couldn’t blame her… but it also left me alone with Linda. Now, I had been thinking of the whole situation for a little bit by then. In the suddenness of everything, I had completely blanked on a few of the other options open to me. Having talked yesterday, one of the most obvious was going over to Jeremy’s house. Counting the times I had gone over while we were still in Building 3 and the few times recently, his caregiver, Yasmine, seemed to love having me over. “Uh… Linda?” I approached my babysitter with a little caution, still unsure about her regarding my whole situation. Linda stopped reading and looked up from her book, Wuthering Heights. “Oh… Pete. You kind of just snuck on me there. You’re so quiet.” She smirked and then placed her book on her lap. “So, what can I do for you? Need a playmate or…?” “No.” She seemed nice, but I still had my limits. “You’ve been great, but I’ve been thinking… maybe I could go see my own friends? Jeremy doesn’t live too far away and…” “Okay…” she interrupted, upsetting me slightly, “I’m going to stop you right there.” She then sat forward on the couch and set her book beside her before looking me deeply in the eyes. “I was put in charge of you and your sister, Pete. Now, she got permission from your parents directly, and I’m glad you have a few friends you can visit today, but we didn’t get permission from them beforehand.” I wanted to go get the phone, but it seemed Linda had thought of that too. “And I don’t want to disturb them at the hospital unless it’s an emergency. They need to focus on Lucas right now… so, I’m sorry, but a playdate with Lucas isn’t an emergency, right?” Her logic was sound, just like my mom’s had been earlier when trying to justify Linda’s presence in their absence. Now, it hurt a little more, being denied going to see my friends today, but I really couldn’t argue with her without seeing combative or uncooperative. “No…” “Good. Now, is there anyth…” A small little beeper noise then went off and Linda smiled before hitting her watch. “Oh! Looks like all that doesn’t matter right now anyway. It’s naptime!” “It’s… what?” I wasn’t a stranger to naptime, doing it almost every day now at Linfield, but at home was another matter. I think I usually tired myself out less at home, so it didn’t feel critical. “I never… never…” I tried to hold back to keep my argument alive, but it was no use. Before I could even finish my sentence, I yawned. “Well… sounds like ‘never’ might just be broken today.” She then marched over and held out her hand for me to take. “Now, come on, Pete. I hear someone who needs one… regardless of if they want one or not.” From her words, tone, and insistent glance down at me, I didn’t feel threatened or anything, but I wasn’t really seeing a way I could tell her ‘No’ exactly. So, I took her hand. Guiding me up the stairs, a task getting harder by the week, we eventually got to my room, where Linda then dropped the railing. I sighed but then let her place me inside and sneak a quick peek at my diaper before moving the railing back up. “I think you should be good for a quick nap today, so just try to lie down for me and close your eyes.” I really didn’t want to, but I could already feel the wave of exhaustion soon catch up with me. It was a pretty strange phenomenon, but I had learned not to fight it. I could still be upset by it, but fighting always proved to be a failure. With Linda dimming the lights, I could feel myself drifting off soon after. It was peaceful, yes, but waking up brought a new horror to my senses. Everything felt cold… clammy… and wet. I thought I was still dreaming, recalling one summer when I hitched a ride on a sailboat for about a week with one of my friends from college. It was pleasant… but this… this was something else. And more importantly, as I shuffled around, I knew without a shred of doubt that this something was a huge problem. Opening my eyes and poking around, my fear doubled. Tossing my sheets off, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. My fear had happened before, but that was due to a cheap diaper my mom had to borrow early on when I first came back home when my wetting started becoming more uncontrollable. So, opening my eyes, I knew what I was going to see, but a still felt the tiny prick of ice stabbing my heart in disappointment and shame. During the night, I had not only wet myself in my sleep, but I had leaked as well. It honestly wasn’t bad, or at least not as bad as it could have been, being just a small wet patch over crease above my thigh, but it was still a mark against me… especially with a sitter that I barely knew. Also, I think seeing my loss so prominently displayed like that kind of put my head into a bit of a spin. Waking up after a good sleep had been a trigger for my Infasia in some form for over a month now. I was used to it, but I had noticed that it both happening more frequently, and maybe as a trigger of that, was becoming more sensitive as well. So, waking up from my nap, I was already feeling a little weighted down and not quite connected in my head as much as I would like to be. Seeing the leak, it just pushed me further. “Oh! I thought I heard someone stirring!” Linda warmly greeted me coming back into my nursery. “Lin’a,” I tried to say. It was a word and clearly her name, but it was partially slurred and didn’t come out full intact. Being trained to respond to Infasia, ARSED sitters knew that sometimes ARs would be a little more regressed waking up and just needed time to acclimate back into their more mature brains. Linda, unfortunately, did not seem to notice this. “Oh? Do you have… oh… what’s it called?” She tapped her chin playfully for a second. “Infantile? Infancy? In… In… oh!” She shrugged her shoulders and looked at me with a playful grin. “Oh well! Doesn’t matter much I guess though, huh? Your mommy told me how you sometimes regress a bit after naptime. So, I guess it’s just my lucky day then.” Coming over closer, her eyes soon directed down to my leak. “Oh no. Someone’s a leaky little boy, huh?” Maybe it was the wrong call, but I think from the little touch of Infasia I had, still worrying about Lucas, and being more than a little mortified… I just nodded my head. “Well then… let’s get you all sorted.” By now, I knew a diaper change was just necessary. I had a dwindling amount of control with my bladder and even navigating the potty for my messes was becoming a challenge. I still made it, but the time I had in getting on the potty and disrobed enough to not make a mess of myself was shrinking. So, naturally, along with being in a daycare and cared for by others, I didn’t mind Linda changing my diaper as much… even when she spouted a series of babbles, coos, and even straight babytalk. “Oh, who’s just the cutest little thing in the world, huh?” She tickled me on my exposed belly, now strapped into the table. If this was my mommy… mom… ‘Stupid Infasia brain…’ she would have checked before treating me like a real two-year-old. Instead, a was played with relentlessly, and being only human, I could only resist laughing heartily for so long. Encouraged now, Linda kept up her barrage, and soon enough, I even felt a further warm spurt in my diaper. “And there we go!” I then realized she had tricked me into emptying my bladder completely. She was a good babysitter and knew the tricks… I just wish she wasn’t using them on me. Still, I kept about as silent as I could, not wanting to prolong the change for any longer than it had to be. And I guess that’s why I next found myself out in the backyard in my new outfit adorned with colorful dinosaurs. Between the shirt and the shorts, which left little to the imagination of what I was wearing underneath and even possibly flashing a peak at it through the leg holes, I felt all the more the baby Linda was treating me as. Taking advantage of Amanda’s old swing set, I was soon plopped into the seat and pushed back and forth. “Whee!” I was pushed high into the air, a little part of me freely fearing slipping out and shooting out, but gravity combined with the babyish swing seat kept me in to the point where I could insist on this stopping. “Lin’a… I…” “Whee!” Honestly, I think Linda was having a little fun herself, and maybe getting too caught up in the moment, probably just didn’t hear me. By the seventh time, I was a little more doubtful, but by the eighth, I had given up as well and just decided to ride it out and have fun. Once we were done though, my anger bubbling, I gave the best angry face I could to Linda. “Lin’a!” I stomped on the ground. “Oh? Is someone a grumpy gut today?” she asked, still going for her babyish tone. “Maybe you’re just not a swing person, huh?” I wanted to scream ‘no,’ but I couldn’t deny that I did have a little fun. The problem was though, Linda quickly took that as a sign of consent and took me over to the slide before setting me on top. “Lin’a… I…” “Oh, don’t be scared, sweetie. I’ll help push you off but then I’ll be waiting right at the bottom for you.” She positioned me carefully on the thick yellow slide, both sides coming up more than enough to abate my fears of falling out as I slid down. “Don’t worry, Petey. You got this…” Her words were oddly comforting. I was still upset, but there was a part of me that I couldn’t deny did feel a little better. “And… whee!” Pushing me ever so slightly, the slide was slick enough that I soon began to slide right down. Racing to the bottom, Linda was nothing but smiles down there. It was a nice sight to hurdle towards, and as soon as I made it to the bottom, she grabbed me up and held me high. “Yay! You did it, Petey! I’m so proud of you!” Again, it all felt good, but I had to almost reorient my mind back to her. She wasn’t listening to me and I needed to be listened to… at least before things got worse. It sent a shiver up my spine, but I refocused and began to squirm in her arms. “No, Lin’a! No!” “Oh… oh!” Linda wasn’t strong by any means, but her experience with younger kids was shining through as she expertly wobbled me around so as to miss accidentally hitting her. I didn’t want to, but I also needed to make my point clear. So, I swung out at her to make her know that I didn’t like what she was doing. If my words weren’t working, I felt my actions would. The problem with that theory though is that squirming or even yelling is one level, taking a swipe at someone is completely another. “No, Petey! We do not hit!” At that point, I was just entirely frustrated, and maybe I should have tried for more words, but I think I just felt that each of them would have failed as much as my previous ones had. So, I swiped at her again. “No, Petey. We…” Her voice then trailed off, and I could almost see the lightbulb go off in her head… right before she held me up out in front of her like I was some sort of dirty bomb. Then, setting me in my booster seat, she utilized the strap attached that I had never used before. “There,” she said with no small amount of clear satisfaction. “Now you’re handled on one level, let me…” She trailed off again before finding my diaper bag that my mom had packed earlier. “I know she said… aha!” To my horror, she then plucked out a small white object that had some sort of blue design in the center on one side and something more yellowish white on the other. Second later, I knew what it was for sure as she popped it into my mouth. I wanted to spit the pacifier out, but as had happened before, like with the whole bit with Agent Brooks, the thing didn’t seem to want to move. Worse, after trying to spit it out, my cheeks picked up a small pattern and sucked it. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough for me to feel a wave of calm drape right over me. Smiling, Linda nodded with a sigh. “Whew! Thank goodness I remembered that being mentioned as one of the ‘just in case’ items from your mom. Still…” Her face trialed back outside. “Maybe you were just fussy that I stopped your fun? Maybe your nap might have been just a smidge too long and you need to burn off some energy.” Holding up a finger and looking confused for a moment, she then snapped and went over to the main countertop. “Let’s see… let’s see… ah! Yes! Just as I thought.” She then pulled herself away from whatever she was looking at, now sporting one of the widest smiles I think I had ever seen. “Let’s get you some more sun and take a stroll around the block to go to the park, huh?” I tried to muffle a protest, but Linda only seemed to take it as enthusiasm. “Well, I’ll take that as a yes then.” Utilizing the diaper bag that my mom had packed earlier, I could only watch and struggle in vain as I was then moved to the stroller my parents had bought. I had popped in it a few times, but I always insisted on walking. Today, I wasn’t given the choice, especially when the straps were pulled over me and then buckled into place. “There. All nice and snug as a bug in a rug. Let’s get going, shall we? Daylight’s burning!” Pushing out from our house, Linda locked the door, checked to ensure she had everything on her and checked her watch before lifting up the stroller and hauling me off the front porch and to the sidewalk. Her strength was impressive, but only a sad reminder of how little I was in control of anything right then. So, resigned, I stopped struggling and just laid back, hoping all this would end sooner rather than later. The two of us then strolled around the block and up another before getting to the entrance of the park. It wasn’t the biggest in the city by far, but it serviced several communities and even contained a few soccer fields, one baseball diamond, a small pond, and a little shack with a few restrooms inside and a snack vendor around the back. By far though, the busiest part of the park today was the playground. Even bigger than the one just for my parents’ neighborhood, this one didn’t differentiate between ARs and normal kids and babies. As such, once we got there, all the parents and caregivers were mixed in as well. “Oh, my goodness, Linda!” one gushed. “Who’s this little fella?” “Oh, hey there, Miss Summers. This here is Petey,” she explained, completely talking over me. “He’s the Crichton’s son… bit of a problem in the family today, so I’m just babysitting.” “Oh no,” another woman grieved. “I hope everyone is alright. Please give them my love and sympathies.” Linda nodded and the whole conversation went like that for a little while. I was trying not to draw too much attention to myself and being a little fearful of repeating the first incident from the park where my mind slipped into full-blown Infasia, I stayed put… but that really can last only so long when your mind isn’t effectively turned off. “Oh, Petey!” Linda pulled my stroller closer to her spot on the park bench and tried moving it back and forth to calm me down. It didn’t work and she sighed. “Well, I guess being outside, you’re going to need to get all those wiggles out, huh?” Playing along, I nodded quickly. Most of the women just chuckled while Linda finally let me go. I was half-tempted to run away right then or even make my way over to Amanda’s friend’s house, knowing right where it was from whenever our mom picked her up on the way back home, coming directly from Linfield. Looking at even the great distance between the playground and just the entrance that was my parents’ neighborhood… I had to concede defeat on that level. To further my problems though, I was still fearful of another bullying incident occurring. I didn’t have any of my friends here, Amanda was on her own playdate, and while Linda was great, she seemed too distracted by the others to instantly rescue me right then. So, I instead set my ego aside and just played with the regressed ARs and real toddlers and babies. I had done it before but today felt different. Depressingly, none of them put up a fuss and even welcomed me into their midst with open arms. It was another blow to my ego. Still, I at least had a little fun chasing them around, but like clockwork and right on schedule, my stomach began to growl. At first, I wanted to ignore it, but call it fragile or regressed emotions, but not ten minutes later, I felt like I was in agony and that a hole from the stomach acid burning its way through was now forming in my stomach. Wincing and seeing no other choice, I trudged over to Linda from her side and pulled on shorts. Turning to me, I tried not to seem so pathetic. “Hun’wy…” I really hated my pacifier right then, but Linda seemed to know right away what I wanted. Instead of just pulling out a snack bar or some homemade trail mix like I was expecting though, she plucked me up, deposited me back into the stroller and waved goodbye to everyone. For once with her, it seemed to me a miracle that we were going home. I could feel the elation bubble up inside of me… until we made a left instead of a right near the exit. Wiggling forward, I tried to see where we were going… at least until I saw a wide picnic bench right under the shade of some overhanging trees. Considering the heat of the day, it was a perfect spot, but I was confused why we had to come here for snack time. At least until I saw her pluck out the diaper bag and then a large bottle of what I could only assume was milk. I wanted to protest hard, especially when I was removed from the stroller once more. I wanted to protest even harder when she sat down on the bench… and then cradled me in her lap. “Alright… here we go, sweetie…” Popping the pacifier from my mouth, I felt finally free enough to protest loudly. “Linda… I…” But Linda was quick…to quick for me, and snapped the bottle right into my mouth, it’s creamy contents soon gurgling right down my throat. I wanted to protest and spit, but two things happen that I already knew about… but was really just hoping they were flukes. First, like the pacifier, once the bottle was in, I couldn’t spit it back out no matter how hard or what I tried. Second, and more worrisome, was that as soon as the milk hit my tongue, not only did I not want to stop, but I also began to feel a peculiar cloudy sensation start to blanket my brain. Considering my day, I think I might have been forgiven in accusing Linda of drugging me to keep caring for a ‘baby,’ but I knew I had to dismiss that thought. See, back when I was staying overnight in Building 4 at Linfield, I was exposed to several aspects of what could be in store for my future. To not be cruel, it wasn’t the full experience of toddlers and babies out there, but bottle feeding definitely made the list. So, back today, I remembered the time when Miss Bea fed me with a bottle from the comfort of her lap. Like now, I had become cloudy and couldn’t spit the bottle out until I was done. Today, however, felt much stronger and more powerful. In a little way, I felt that if I pulled any harder, my face might go against the resistance… so I had to resign myself to just finishing the bottle. I felt bloated, half-dazed and more than a little embarrassed, but as soon as the nipple as out, I began to speak up once more, wasting no time to try and get myself out of this whole mess. “Linda… I ca…” But once again, Linda was too quick, and popped the pacifier back in. “There!” she remarked triumphantly. “Let’s just keep that in, shall we? I think with everything going on today, a little peace and quiet might just do you some good, Petey. Your brother in the hospital must be tough, so, let’s just walk around a little more and try to enjoy the day as much as we can, okay?” I was having a hard time pinning Linda down. On one hand, I wanted her arrested for assault or something… anything, for her treating me like a baby when I wasn’t one. I didn’t know the law, but it just felt wrong… and that would be that. But… I also wanted her to cuddle me tight and play silly games with me. She just had this… enduring quality that was hard to find in people. A lot of people in my life had that spark, but I knew from hearing other’s stories, it was more of an exception rather than a rule. So, only nodding, Linda placed me back in the stroller and took off again. That’s how I ended up in a stroller, frustrated but admittedly peaceful as well on the most beautiful of days in a little while. No rain… just sun and the birds chirping or an occasional tune as a card drove by with its windows down. It was a nice little moment of no worry and less concern about others… at least until Linda stopped pushing the stroller and came around to the front. Pulling my shorts to one side, she stuck her finger into the leg band of my diaper. I whimpered in protest, but diaper checks just came with the territory. “Oh my… Petey… you’re positively soaked. I don’t think you’ll be able to last all the way home without leaking all over. Once is more than enough in a single day, so let’s see…” I could see her eyes scan across the horizon. “Oh! Right there!” I wondered what she was referring to, but less than a minute later, I recognized the building’s brick façade almost instantly. It was the public restroom of the park. I started whimpering right away. This time, there wasn’t a mix-up in communication, but the problem with that is that I think it just went to confirm Linda’s suspicions over me being tin the midst of a bout of Infasia. So, being the good babysitter she was, she picked me up and cradled me to her chest, stroking my back tenderly as she rocked back and forth. “Shhh, shhh… it’s okay, Petey. I know that wet diapy is probably no fun. Just one second while we wait… Easy… easy… shhh…” Fortunately, though to my shame a little bit, it did actually make me feel better. I was still in a wet diaper and about to be changed while in a public restroom, but my internal swell of distress had been dampened at least a little bit. Unfortunately, being in that position, the other moms in the women’s restroom, flocked to me and either gave me sympathetic looks or exchanged little chats with Linda. Being a respected and known member of the community, everyone probably thought she was just consoling another toddler… not an AR who had been a full-grown man only a year ago now. “Okay… it’s all yours…” the woman at the single changing table announced, turning back to us as she cradled her daughter in her arms. I couldn’t tell if she was an AR or not, but the deposited diaper into the nearby trash bin was bad enough. Seeing my muted distress, the woman gave me a sympathetic smile but said nothing and went on her way after washing both her and her daughter’s hands. “Okay, Petey… now the not so fun part…” Being experienced, as I had seen before, Linda laid everything out she was going to need and quickly stripped me of my shorts. Shooting my hands to my face, I think Linda saw and slowly pulled them back. “It’s okay, Petey. Just a little change. Tell you what though… I think someone needs a friend.” I quickly thought of Poofin, and I could feel a swell of relief in my chest. Unfortunately, it turned out to only be a simple cat stuffed animal, one I recognized as at least one that used to belong to Amanda. Now, it was given to me, and as much as I wanted to toss it, I brought it close up to my face and buried myself in it, drying desperately to distract myself from what was going on below. I couldn’t see anything, and maybe that was a good thing, but the scritches of tapes and the blast of cold air on my privates left nothing to the imagination of what was happening. Hands on my ankles and alarmingly cold wipes were then maneuvered all over my lower half before the offending garment was removed. A new one was slid underneath followed by a thorough dusting and then quick retaping of the diaper. The change was over, but I could feel the heat of the blush still present all over my face. “There, there,” Linda cooed to me, gently pulling my hands away from my face once more. “All done. But see? That wasn’t so bad?” I couldn’t really agree or disagree with her, so I still just kept silent, even when the little stuffy cat was put back into the diaper bag. One toss of the horrid diaper and handwash later, and we were both back outside and heading home. On the way, I reflected on everything that had just happened, but I was having a problem doing just that. At first, it felt more like someone was tapping me on the shoulder and pausing my train of thought. When we turned the block though, I was pausing and looking at the wonder of everything around me with utter fascination… taking at least a minute in between the pauses to get back to what I was thinking. With the view of my parents’ house coming back into view, I then realized what was happening. I didn’t think the park was that bad, or that I was at the point of random bouts yet, but I guess I was wrong. So, for at least the second time today, my mind was slipping back into Infasia. Knowing the causes and ticks of it though, as soon as I was back inside, I tried just about everything to put it off or even circumnavigate it. I wasn’t extremely successful, but it proved to be just enough that I was in the midst of cuddling with Poofin when Amanda returned home. I think her day, minus the news of Lucas, had been a highlight of her week at the very least, and she couldn’t stop talking about it to either me or Linda. Seeing the time though, Linda soon retreated into the kitchen to start our dinner. Amanda continued her story, but right at the end, between braiding hair and pretending like they had a mock salon, she stopped and stared at me intently for a moment. “Uh… Petey? Why do you have a paci?” Her question was straightforward and non-judgmental. In fact, if anything, I definitely heard a smidge of concern. I tried to say something, even going so far as trying to remove my pacifier once more, but it just wouldn’t budge. So, with pleading eyes and a few hand gestures, I stared back at Amanda to get my message across. Gratefully, she seemed to get the gist of the first thing that I wanted. “Miss Linda? Can we go up to my woom to play?” The clanging of pans stopped, and Linda soon reappeared back in the room before shaking her head. “I’m sorry Amanda, but not this time. I need to keep at least an ear out for you two and with Petey… I need to be nearby in case he needs something. If you need something from upstairs though, I’d be more than happy to get it for you.” Amanda paused for a moment, temporarily looked at me, and then returned to Linda. “No… no thank you… Jus’… wonderwin…” Linda nodded and returned to the kitchen where the song of cracking and some scrapes could soon be heard. To my relief, Amanda also understood the second part of my signs to her, and reaching across, she plucked out my pacifier with ease. “Oh! Dank you!” I grimaced at my failing words. I knew it wasn’t going to be long now. “Petey… what’s wong?” she asked, her own concern clearly growing. “Why’d you have the paci? You get in twouble with Miss Linda?” I shook my head. “No… I jus’… she tought I had Infa… Infashia…” I groaned but the word was close enough. But despite my growing speech impediment, I told Amanda everything. “Oh, Petey…” It was quite the turn of events to see my sister so concerned for me. Between Dr. Smothers guidance and our at least three times a week meeting to discuss problems regarding my ARV though, it was no wonder that she was starting to pick up what I liked versus what I hated as an AR. A public change and others gushing over me were right at the top of my discomfort level. “Pwease… don’ tell mommy or daddy…” I was definitely slipping now. “Dey don’ nee’ dis wowwy… jus’ between us, okay?” Amanda didn’t seem to like the notion of keeping something from them, and I was a little worried she would tell them inadvertently, but I knew I had to trust at least someone besides them with this information. Besides, I didn’t want to yell or threaten her. If they found out… I wasn’t even sure what would happen. I just knew I had to explain something. “… and lastly, I might slip under…” “With Infasia?” Her wording was slow and forced, but her pronunciation was much better than mine right then. So, I nodded, with Amanda responding by simply nodding… at least a first. “Well… I’lll pwotect you… I’ll keep you safe an’ comfowtable…” She then paused and then scooted closer to me down onto the floor. “Petey… I pwomise… I’ll be the best olduh’ sistuh evuh!” I wasn’t the biggest fan of being called the ‘youngest’ by extension or not, but I could quickly feel the warmth start to dance over my brain. I should have been more scared but maybe sensing something was more wrong than I was admitting, she promptly hugged me just about as tightly as she could. And that was how Linda found us. “Awww… let me take a quick phot for your parents!” Too focused on my own comfort, I clung onto Amanda and only heard the click. Seconds later, I heard something else. “Okay, you two… it‘s dinner time!” There was a brief pause. “Oh… and Petey? I’ve got the highchair all set up for you.” Maybe it was that statement alone or maybe another, I wasn’t sure, but what I was sure about right then, is that my mind finally gave up and slunk into the depths of another round of full-blown Infasia.

Glad to hear you are enjoying the story! I was going to hold off on this until it came up in the story, but the question has been asked a number of times, and I guess I need to elaborate on the notion of getting stuck at one's regressed age. I won't go into all that's invovled, but it kind of depends on the age you drop to. Keep in mind, that it's only been about 15 months since Orange Day. So, keeping that in mind, I'm writing all this where ARV sticks you at your age depending on mostly what age you bounce at. For example, Karen and Gregg (Pete's parents) may have gotten stuck for a few months, but at their age, it's almost negligible. For those younger though, sticking would last longer. So, carrying this further, most that got whacked and regressed tremendously at the outset are still stuck... not forever, but still stuck. I'll go into all this pretty soon, but I know you all can't see my headcannon unless I write it down. Also, just something to keep in mind... the government and most scientists probably don't want to cause a panic. Similar to what happened with Pete and not being told his 'under three' diagnosis, most authorities would likely fear what most would do if they were regressing and then found out they would be stuck as a toddler for at least a year. Even if it didn't mean riots in the streets, you would probably have a lot more ARs having mental breaks (which would only increase their time stuck and freak them out more, thus creating a vicious cycle) or not caring about life anymore and going to some extremes. Speaking personally, I think I would react very differently to the notion of being regressed and then growing back up normally versus being stuck at whatever age I bounced at. So, I hope that helps everyone here for the moment at least... More is coming soon, and as I said before, everything should be coming to a close in the next week or so.