LostBBoyBear

To be fair, I think most of us on here actually reading this story wouldn't last long over there. For me, it's a situation of 'oh look! No job, no taxes, extended life of fun with the right person?' What's not to like overall, right? That being said, I do try to write some of these stories from the perspective of a typical person being put in this situation. Most are not going to give up their potty training so willingly... especially at this point in the timeline where it's almost universally known that most Bigs just want us humans to baby and regress. Also remember that these 'Littles' have only signed on for five year terms. Yes, most of them extend it out eventually, but most still hold onto that 'it's only five years notion.' Doing this... might just be the ticket to invalidate that timeframe.

Hey everyone! Slipped on some ice again right after I got back from Orlando… boy am I really considering a change of scenery after this year. Regardless, I have another little trip coming up this week, so this chapter is coming out today and the next will either be sometime Wednesday or Sunday most likely. Not sure which yet, but most definitely, this section will be done by next week and a break will be coming soon for a week or two. Hard to say at this point, but I will absolutely keep you all informed. Also, if any of you have any requests for what to be put in the next story poll, please let me know. I have so many ideas that I think you all would like, ranging from aliens to fairies to something set in the Fallout universe… which is not even covering what I’ve already started here, like the Orange Mist or Boys Maturity Reform or the Maleficia Council settings. I have a few thoughts if no one cares, but I figured I would at least give you all a moment to speak up before I set the poll in stone. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 11: A Refusal to Repeat What Once Was… No Matter What The beep kept going, monotonous and annoying to the point of insanity in any other circumstance… but this wasn’t just any ordinary circumstance. Mindy was dying. It was a hard fact that everyone was coming to terms with… including an emotionally frail and exhausted Addy. For her, all her treatments and cures for Mindy were failures, only causing discomfort for her Little or just downright hurting her. The Big’s soul was being pulverized each time the news came about Mindy’s prognosis and how she wasn’t getting any better. Removing her emotions from the equation, Addy was understanding that there was no more hope now and that her darling Little was going to die soon. So, night after night as she stayed by Mindy’s side, Addy’s fellow nurses ensured Franklin was okay as the frightened and distraught Big barely moved from her spot… she found that beeping noise was music to her ears. She wished she could make it a bird chirping or heavenly bodies singing instead, yes, but each beep was the sound of life. The sound of one more second passing by with Mindy’s hand holding hers with life in it. It was more time with her Little… something that was quickly running out. “Sweetie?” Addy tried to reach her Little. “C… can you hear me?” She winced, not hearing a response back. The medication she was on to keep her alive was also wearing her out. It was a vicious cycle that only had one conclusion at this point. “Baby? Can you hear me?” she pressed again. She didn’t want Mindy to lose any more sleep, but she also needed to tell her something… something she should have said a long time ago. Addy cursed those days when she felt too afraid by her training or societal norms or especially the protocols of Psyche. She knew they were in place for a reason, but now… that just seemed to waste the precious time and moments she could have had with her Little. At that moment, the beeping picked up a little, and for a moment, Mindy fluttered her eyes open, her hand gently squeezing Addy’s own hand back… the force nearly non-existent from her weakened condition. “Addy…” She smiled for half a second more… then drifted off. Addy sighed. It was another moment gone from the both of them. She wasn’t sure how many of those she had left with her now. She didn’t want to be pessimistic, but reality was closing in. It was the reality of duty… diaper changes and feedings and monitoring her vitals… all designed to help and care for Mindy, but also seemingly steps toward the final unmentionable conclusion to all this. Addy bowed her head and fervently hoped for just one more chance with her. Say her peace, tell her that it was going to be okay… just something to calm both their minds. For now, though, Addy just kept holding Mindy’s hand and listening to those sweet little notes echoing off the still-beating life of the Little in front of her. * * * Addy came to from her memory. A bird nearby had been chirping in strange low melodical notes… like the beeping of the monitor that Addy now grew to hate with a passion. It had been going that day… and the next, but not long after, it ceased it’s beating. Today, she would have given any thing for just one more moment with Mindy. And now… she was faced with a similar situation. Oliver wasn’t there yet. With modern medicine at their disposal now, it wasn’t happening this week or the next, but Addy could see the signs. Having gone through this with Mindy, despite Oliver’s resilience and Juventas’ drugs, she could see the road ahead of them. She knew the destination, and more than anything, what gave her hope still was that Addy was looking for and had found a way to help him. She had once said that she’d do anything to help Mindy. Now, she had a chance to help Oliver, but she didn’t want to take it. It hurt her deeply seeing something that could work and yet just be right out of reach right now. As she looked around the park though, she knew why she was feeling this way. Just an average park down the road, a notable absence of any tires was a bonus, but other Littles and their caregivers liked to come here as well. For Oliver, at first at least, he was shy and hated it. Now… he seemed to be able to look past the frilled dresses or onesie or rompers or whatever else they had on. Diapers were just another thing to wear, and pacifiers seemed to be viewed as something to him like one would see a cigarette. He didn’t want it… but it didn’t mean that others wouldn’t. They were all good signs of a progressing Little under her care, but today… today Addy wasn’t distracted by Oliver. His cuteness here was delicious, but no… Addy was distracted by the other Littles around them both today. As a nurse of Littles and a Big, of course she noticed them, but now… faced with her dilemma, each took on a new identity. They weren’t just the tiny bundle of joy wrapped up now… they were the former accountant that had been so thoroughly soaked in hypnosis that they couldn’t control their limbs anymore and the bundling was more akin to a straitjacket to keep them from harming themselves or others. The Little with the adorable cute thick diaper that made them waddle everywhere was now the marketing executive who had gone in for a minor snip of some nerve endings and would forever be bound in them. And the Little greedily nursing from the woman a few benches away was the lawyer who now just had to have their addictive fix… not caring about any of the side effects that came with breastfeeding from a Big any longer. They had always been that… Addy just noticed it more now with a new tipping point for her Little on the line. ‘Is that what I want Oliver to be like?’ Addy simply wasn’t sure. It was the balance between life and humiliation and subjection. She wasn’t holding or even looking at the nuclear option, but she couldn’t deny that her solution wasn’t the mother of all bombs either. Taking it would save Oliver’s life… but most likely give him a very different one instead. And simply put, Addy wasn’t sure if she could make that decision. “You okay Addy?” Oliver asked, surprising Addy from her stupor, and in a little bit of a pant now after running around from a game of tag. “You looked a little… lost there for a minute.” Addy smiled to cover her thoughts up nice and tight. “Oh… just thinking about desert tonight.” She knew Oliver had a weak spot for all things sugary… like 90% of the Littles out there it seemed. “I heard Federica is whipping up a batch of yummy cupcakes.” “Really?” His eyes went about as wide as saucers. Addy now smiled genuinely. “Absolutely.” Oliver was pushing past his society’s norms of Earth and giving into every thought, emotion, and desire. He was like a raw nerve now… not holding back the tears but not holding back any ounce of joy either. “Now… let’s get back before naptime, huh?” Addy stood and simply took Oliver’s hand. Not once did he flinch away. ‘Yes… yes… coming right along now…’ Back at the facility, Addy made sure Oliver was good and tucked in, ensuring one last slide of the pull-up and checking the creases where she could ensure there wouldn’t be any leaks. It wasn’t a forgone conclusion at this point, but she could nearly bet the little planets on the front would be faded when she woke him up in an hour or two… Still, with a moment of free time, Addy rang up an old friend. “Sam? You there?” “Oh, Addy!” she greeted excitedly. “I was hoping you were going to call. You’ll never guessed what Cara did the other day.” “What?” Addy asked, her own train of thought being briefly pushed aside to hear about Cara’s latest progress. “She twirled around all by herself!” she cheered. “Can you believe it?” “Oh, absolutely, Sam,” Addy said proudly. “We’ve been practicing her coordination here all the time. I betcha… she just wanted to impress you a little extra. You know how thrilled she was when you asked her to be your flower girl…” Addy smirked at the memories of the day when she loudly announced that her ‘Mommy and Daddy were getting married!’ It was utterly adorable and even though Sam was a little annoyed, wanting to tell Addy about their engagement and ask her to be a bridesmaid personally, none of them really minded a Little spoiling the surprise after seeing how happy she finally seemed to be getting. “Oh, yes. Definitely! Little hectic around here with all the planning and all, and Lloyd has absolutely been helping out Patrick so he can walk down the aisle freely with our rings, but…” Sam took a breath at last. “What about you? I know you, Addy. You wouldn’t just call out of the blue unless you had something to ask.” Addy blushed a little, her communication skills across distances never something she would ever brag about to anyone. “Oh… you know me so well. I think we should catch up… face-to-face, but yes… you’re right.” Addy took a deep breath. “I was actually calling about, well… the local doctor you use for both Patrick and Cara.” “You mean Dr. Spinetti?” Cara questioned. “For Littles, right?” Addy had a specific purpose in mind, and she needed someone she could trust… or at least someone that someone she knew trusted outside of Psyche and Juventas. Sam confirmed she was the one and that she was utterly brilliant with Littles… but her tone faltered to something more than curiosity after a minute or two when she finally gave Addy her number to call. “Hey… look. I’m happy to give you her number and all, but I have to ask…” Sam sighed deeply on the other end of the phone. “Cara’s been talking about you and Oliver. You’re not planning on… well, you know…” Addy did know. It was the concern of nearly half of the Bigs who investigated Psyche in the first place to adopt. As sad as it was, Big corruption when it came to Littles was rampant and fast-moving and most around here didn’t want abuse or any mind altering to what they wanted in their Little. It seemed contrary to most, but Addy was well aware of it and most of the time just tried to play it off. Knowing her intentions though… Addy knew she couldn’t tell her the truth. “I’m okay and Oliver’s okay, Sam,” she said, trying to focus on the generalities instead of the facts of the case and what she was planning on doing to save Oliver’s life. “So, you’re not trying to make him your Little?” Sam persisted. “No.” Addy was firm and maybe even a little harsh, and as much as she was guilting herself, she also knew that her intentions were pure with Oliver. Her cure was literally that. It sucked it came with side effects, but Addy was nearing the end of the line with him. Her time was running out, and soon, this one simple thing might not even be possible in a week’s time. “Just… getting close with a dying Little is all…” Addy’s words were direct and forceful. She didn’t like it, but she knew from her tone and knowing Sam, the other Big wouldn’t push the subject further. And for Addy right now, she needed that plausible deniability. If any of this went wrong, Addy didn’t want her friends to take the blame as co-conspirators. Satisfied, Addy cracked open the old book she had been looking at yesterday and maybe it was just seeing her bookmarked page again and the listed side effects, but Addy stopped herself cold. It was a cure for sure, and Oliver would be fine in a month or more, even if he was one of the more stubborn Littles out there and took the longer estimates the book listed. Still… her mind waffled with the notion of doing it at all. Cure, yes, but Oliver could be different. She knew her medicine… her health textbooks. They had all been made in this dimension and they knew, even before the portal opened, that native Littles were susceptible to certain things. So, fearing for her soul or her conscience or whatever, she decided to flip the pages a few more times and look for another cure. Even if it was boils growing on his butt, she might have preferred that to the cure she was now trying to hold off on. “Hmmm… let’s see…” Her finger scrawled page after page, each new treatment some horrible new way of figuring out how to hurt a Little while trying to kill them at the same time. “It’s like when they used to try and bleed people to cure them…” She nearly audibly gasped a few. “Cut out affected portions and let heal naturally. Unless a vital organ, the Little doesn’t need it anyways…” Addy looked up and wanted to puke. “Holy hell…” Each time she thought she found a new cure, it always ended the same with either regression, barbarism, or some combination of the two. Maiming’s, mauling’s of a kind, drug addiction, hypnotic oblivion, drug overdoses, electrotherapy… all designed to cure a Little of various diseases to perfection even… but seemingly at the cost of the Little themselves. Inevitably, just as she feared, Addy fell right back to her initial cure. ‘Right now… it’s this or bust…’ After getting Oliver up and seeing the little planets on his pull-up faded once more, she made sure to shower him with reassurances and little hugs that ‘things were going to get better.’ She wasn’t sure if she believed that or not anymore from a certain level, but she had a path now and she needed to follow it. To do so though, she needed to take certain steps first. First, settling Oliver with Katrina and Ella, who were now bounding around the room after her MS had mostly subsided now, she visited Dr. Spinetti. With her wiry hair and wide eyes, she seemed a little whacky, but she saw nothing but good signs from her so far. Having visited enough Little clinics before, Addy knew exactly what to look for. There were no posters approving legislation for the revoking of the humane Little’s rights passed a few years prior, a growing movement in the more conservative populace. There were no advertisements for extreme hypnotics or formulas to cause incontinence or brain fog. And there were certainly to shillings for doctors who just wanted to snip and cut all over… like they were preparing a gift instead of practically ripping a Little apart. “So!” she started gleefully, a lock of her hair bouncing around on the side of her head, refusing to lay flat apparently. “Sam called ahead and said you wanted to speak to me… she also said you were the nurse who oversaw both Patrick and Cara…” Addy sighed but ultimately nodded. She needed to be truthful with her, despite the fact that she knew that Psyche could be a little controversial with some doctors these days. After all, without Psyche, there was a real possibility that both Patrick and Cara would be average adults still… instead of the Littles they were and both leagues away from potty training as just one example. “I am… but she recommended you though…” “Well,” she cracked a half smile. “That’s something I suppose. Always nice to be admired by the community, but…” She paused and adjusted herself uncomfortably on the stool in the exam room. “I’m not sure exactly what I can do for you. I mean… I’m a doctor for Littles… not Bigs…” “Yes…” Addy didn’t want to, but she rifled through her purse and pulled out a photocopy of the page in the book that had Oliver’s cure on it. “I need advice… for a Little I’m treating.” The doctor took the page from her and began to look over it. At first, her face was hard to peg. Maybe confusion… maybe disgust, but definitely something. After her eyes tracked to the bottom though, she shifted again on her stool before her eyes darted back to the top of the copied page. This time though, they were full of resentment and rage. After a moment, she set the paper down. “Please tell me you’re not considering this, Ms. Pepperidge…” “Addy, please, but…” Addy took a deep breath. “Yes, I am.” “And so you know what this means, right?” Coming from a fellow medical practitioner, the implication she was trying to make was very clear. “You’re a nurse, and…” “Yes,” Addy confirmed, “and I hate myself for it. I just… I need to know if it’s even viable and… what it’s going to do to my Little… Oliver. He’s just… he’s dying. Cancer and everything else have failed. He might have two weeks left… maybe three if he’s extremely lucky.” “I see…” This time, her eyes and demeanor shifted to more of a postering attitude. Judgmental definitely, but something more as well… almost like if Dr. Spinetti was trying to deduce what type of Big that Addy was. “Well… in that case, all this is on shaky ethical grounds but… it might just work. And seeing the notes here, you would know within three days… at the worst.” “So, it could work…” Addy had been living on hope since she first read about it. She knew it was a possibility but now hearing that it actually could work set a fire in her belly that she couldn’t squash… and honestly, she really didn’t want to. This was it. A cure… terrible and long-lasting for Oliver… a game changer even, but also a chance at life. Dr. Spinetti sighed and got up off her stool and went over to a cabinet, pulling a sheet from inside before handing it to Addy. “Here… this goes over all the side effects. On your word as a nurse, I need you to promise me that you will tell Oliver all the possible side effects. Don’t leave anything out.” Addy looked at the paper closely. ‘Addiction… incontinence…’ She didn’t read any further. She knew them by heart already. Most Big women did since sixth grade… some even sooner. It was just life around here, but those notes still gave her that queasy feeling along with her lust for keeping pushing this. “I promise…” Addy said sincerely. “I’m also going to talk to my supervisor, Dr. Halgen. I need to know what this means for me as a nurse. It falls within my job duties and I’m sure that many board members will be happy…” She had to pause for a moment, a little puke threatening to come up after that admittance. “But I need to be sure with her first.” “That’s a good idea, but… go slow and explain your reasoning.” Dr. Spinetti winced for a moment. “I can’t really say I approve of this, but I also don’t approve of Littles dying either.” With that final note, Addy got a few things checked out, a brochure specifically for her, and then left the clinic. Outside in her car, her hands nearly buzzed from the sheer excitement of the brochures and pamphlets she had received. Each was designed very specifically to be read by caregiver or mommies. Addy didn’t dare touch those labels, but to even be roped into their midst… it was hard for her Big hormones and brain to not crack at least a semblance of a smile. As the sun began to set, Addy made her way back toward the facility, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. It didn’t subside when she got out, and in fact, it only seemed to beat harder as she stepped inside and Oliver greeted her happily. “Addy! Addy! We’ve got burgers tonight! Can you believe it?” he asked her excitedly. Addy looked over and saw the spread of fixings all lined up. Of course, she knew that the further month would require everything cut into bite size pieces and Federica had made miniaturized burgers for the others, but the smell coming from outside wafting in was nearly intoxicating. Bruce always loved to grill out during the summer, but a winter burger was still a burger. So, she smiled genuinely at that, but she managed not to touch Oliver, fearing her shaking hands would alert him to a problem of some kind. Around here, nurses had to be careful of that sort of thing. If a nurse was nervous around food, then it had to be poisoned… or at least that was the general theory, only proved correct last July. Addy was just immensely grateful that he wasn’t hers back then… “Look delicious, bud!” She walked behind him and still not touching him, made their way into the room. Already, Addy knew that highchairs were being prepared for his group… the next set being washed and sterilized from the last batch. But as they got in, Addy quickly spotted her target… Dr. Halgen. It took a second, but finally getting to her, Addy requested a moment of her time after dinner. She seemed hesitant but agreed to it and Addy made sure to serve Oliver his food with haste and poise. She still served mostly as a helper and regulator for mealtimes, but she did have to catch a few spills by Katrina. ‘Oh Katrina… why do I feel you’re seconds away from wetting your pants and then claiming your favorite stuffy here?’ All good in the long run, but Addy still felt it was too early… especially when compared to the rest of this group. But clearing the plates, Addy made sure Katrina and Oliver were glued to the TV and made her way over to Dr. Halgen’s office, knocking slowly and gently on her door, part of her still not wanting to ask and just avoid all this altogether. “Enter!” Dr. Halgen’s shouted out from inside. Immediately, Addy winced but still pushed inside and quickly closed the door behind her. “Sorry, Dr. Halgen. I just… I needed approval for something…” “Oh?” Dr. Halgen seemed intrigued and set a red envelope down that she had apparently just been about to open. “Is this… did you find a cure for Oliver?” Addy sometimes hated her keen insight into the inner workings of Psyche here, but Addy didn’t want to lie and nodded. “Yes, but…” She paused and noticed Dr. Halgen’s smile began to fade. “I… well, it’s not exactly… ethical.” Dr. Halgen looked positively terrified. “Addy… you didn’t do anything… did you?” Addy shook her head hard. “No, I swear. I just…” She wanted to tell her so badly, but she knew if she did, she could be told ‘no’ before she had even told Oliver. She didn’t know if she could handle that type of rejection at this point. “I just… I can’t tell you what it is now, but… I wanted to tell Oliver…” “Oh…” Dr. Halgen leaned back in her chair and pressed her fingers into each other, drumming them lightly together. “I see.” She sighed heavily and didn’t say another word for at least a minute, her eyes never squinting away from Addy for even a moment. “Very well…” she finally said. “You go and tell Oliver first.” She leaned back over her desk and stared at Addy intently. “I can see you’re desperate. Everyone here can, and I appreciate how you came to me first. Lately… I’ve been getting this funny feeling that some of your fellow nurses have been going ahead with regressing their Littles without my say so…” It was a serious accusation to make and Dr. Halgen knew that. It had to be bad for her to say out loud, but she kept pushing. “Tell Oliver, but right after…” She nearly scowled at Addy. “You come. Right. Back. Here… understand? You are not to do a single thing until I approve of whatever hair-brained scheme you’ve got cooking. And for the record… there will be no second chances if I find out otherwise…” Addy nodded curtly. “Yes, ma’am!” she made sure to address her friend and boss acutely. “Good…” She sighed. “I like you Addy. Always have, but… this place is under enough scrutiny. I feel I’m already six seconds from getting the boot here.” She then shook her head and looked back closely at Addy. “No chances, okay?” Addy nodded quickly and ran up the stairs, knowing that since the TV was off, Oliver was already in his room. She nearly flew to his floor, but right at the third step from the floor, her feet suddenly felt as if they were made of lead. She still managed to drag herself up the rest of the way, but her mouth felt dry… her heart raced faster than she thought possible, and her hands flopped around… even as her right knocked on his door. “Come in!” Oliver said cheerily from inside. Taking a deep breath, Addy pushed inside. She couldn’t help but see that his next pull-up had already been removed from the pack in his bathroom. It was a good sign… maybe something that would be on her side that he could be okay with her cure… but she knew the word alone could be triggering to him. She didn’t even want to say it to herself all today. “Okay,” she started after sitting on his bed, his grin nearly melting her resolve before she even started. “You know I care about you, right? That I would do anything to help you… to get you better?” “Well, yeah…” Oliver quickly seemed confused. “I mean… haven’t you been doing that?” “Well… yes,” Addy had to admit, “but there’s something I’ve found. I’ve already talked to another doctor about it and she thinks it would be almost a lock for it to work.” Oliver’s eyes widened and an involuntary smile spread over his face. “R… really? You really mean it?” He was so cute when he got flustered. Addy had to nod. Her words were nothing but the truth, the page mentioning that if she took the normalized cure, it would intertwine with her system. Then, her milk would expel the cure into his body, and her specialized production would be transferred into him, removing his cancer completely. “I do…” She let her words linger for a moment, allowing Oliver to take in the good news for at least a moment. Addy could swear she saw a little play going on his head and his mouth even seemed to be moving as if acting out a scene where he would finally be okay… finally live. It was a great sign that his imagination was being unburdened by his more restrictive adult tendencies. It only gave Addy more of a drive to convince him that this was the only way. Still, he looked back at her, his smile still present, but his look of confusion and confidence coming back larger than ever. “Okay! Let’s start tonight! I’m ready. Not sure why we haven’t started yet, but… I’m ready now. Let’s do this!” His confidence in this was like a balm to her soul. Only weeks ago, it seemed that Oliver was more than ready to give into his disease and give up entirely on a new cure. Hearing that he could be saved though… his entire position seemed to have changed. And she didn’t want to take that away, but she knew she had to be truthful to him. Sneaky maybe, but the whole truth and leaving not a single thing out. She didn’t want to risk a lie and him being forever upset at her. “Yes…” she said slowly. “I like that, but… there are some… side effects.” It was putting it mildly, but she knew she was making her pitch to him right now and she needed to hit a home run. His smile vanished. “There are?” Addy nodded and pulled out the paper Dr. Spinetti had given her, and she had placed it folded up in her pocket just for this moment. “Yes…” She cleared her throat. ‘Negatives first…’ She looked at the paper carefully. “Side effects can include incontinence, mental shifts, some potential imbalance issues, potential momentary loss of self and mental faculties, drowsiness, and potential long-term addiction.” Oliver hadn’t fled yet, so Addy pushed on. “Others can include, a warm glow, ease of sleep, a healthy disposition, and an increased feeling of safety.” Oliver didn’t say anything for a moment. He sat, in the only partially lit dimming light of his room, something that was starting to no longer look like an adult living in it. It was subtle still, but Addy always made sure that her Littles got what they wanted. For now, that meant posters and artwork of their favorite shows and singers. Soon, that could mean anything from a signed picture of Adventure Sam to a stuffy tucked in tight to their crib. Finally, Oliver looked up from the sheets of his bed. “Okay… but I can live, right?” Addy’s mind nearly short-circuited for a moment, but she nodded to stall for time. “I… uh, yes. Most definitely yes. High possibility for sure.” Oliver’s face seemed to indicate that he wanted an excuse to say no. Instead, Addy had seemingly just made his decision harder. “Right… so all these negatives… is it like a pill… a new form of radiation… medical liquid?” Addy hesitated, not wanting to say the word until she had to. “In a way…” Oliver only seemed more curious now. “In what way?” His words were pointed and firm. He wanted to know and he wanted to know right now. Addy sighed, knowing her moment of truth had come. “It’s…” she righted herself on the bed, bracing for whatever might come next. At this point, never having experienced this firsthand before. “It’s breastfeeding.” Oliver blinked back at her a few times, almost like he hadn’t heard her correctly. “Excuse me?” Addy didn’t like his angrier tone, but she knew she couldn’t blame him for that either. “Breastfeeding,” she repeated. “I take in the medication and you… well, you take in my milk, and you are cured completely from the cancer.” Oliver blinked a few times at her, like he didn’t believe that it would be that simple or that maybe she was still hiding something from him. “And that’s it?” “Yes.” Addy didn’t want to quibble and made sure her answer was sincere and quick. Oliver though, seemed less collected about it. “I just take in…” He shook his head in clear disgust. “I can’t even fucking say it!” He smacked the surface of the bed and bit his lip… especially after likely seeing the scowl forming on Addy’s face. Stil though, he persisted in his anger. “And you… what? You say it like it’s nothing!” His hands shot into the air like a madman. “Like it means nothing!” Addy was trying to keep her patience, and she knew this was going to be tough for Oliver, but… he was still under her watch and the rules of the facility. “Easy, Oliver… I’m only offering you this option to save your life.” Oliver’s temper lowered, but his revulsion was sticking to him tightly. “An option? An option to lose who I am? To become… a… baby?” His eyes then narrowed and he stared back at Addy like he had just come to some horrible fundamental truth about his entire life up to this point. His hatred seethed and settled around him like a cloak and his words came out slow and hot. “That’s… that’s what you want… isn’t it?” “What I…?” Addy questioned his words, but her brain was quick and she saw his anger… his disgust. If he was or wasn’t, he was feeling betrayed. That much was evident. For a Little to feel betrayed, there was only one reason for it. “You… you think I want you to be my…” The words stung in her throat, and she couldn’t believe this is where her cure had taken them. “…baby?” “Yes!” he spat back at her. “It is, isn’t it! I’ve read the stories about you people! I swore I would never come over here and be saddled with this, but then I was dying and I saw this program and I thought… why not?” His self-hatred was becoming evident as well now. “But then I cam here… and I met you and Katrina… even someone like Cassie. You all showed me that being a Little wasn’t so bad… an escape even. But then…” His eyes couldn’t even meet Addy’s hurt glance. He was in a world of pain, and he looked like he wanted to jump out the window to escape and never to return. Addy could let him… but she knew he wouldn’t last long. Either the cancer would kill him, or worse, an unscrupulous Big would snatch him up. Fragile, sick, and with little interaction with the reality of this world, he wouldn’t stand a chance. “Then you had to offer me this…” His voice cracked at the end. He clearly wanted to say more, but like his voice box had just been shattered, no words escaped his lips. Addy sighed. She was hoping this was going to go another way, but now that it hadn’t… she knew she had a choice to make. It wasn’t easy, but she also knew she needed to push this. And to do that, she either needed to convince Oliver or make a deal. “Please, Oliver… please trust me. I tried looking for another way. I’ve been looking for so long and you’re just either too weak or too sensitive… or I simply don’t want to lose you to something worse!” She thought back to the several alternative cures she had seen. As much as Oliver hated the very notion of breastfeeding, there’s no way he would have accepted brain biopsies or amputation to save his life. Oliver at last looked back at her, his face awash with betrayal and disbelief. “Trust? Trust? How can I trust you now with this? How can I see this as anything else other than a motive to regress me?” He was practically shouting by the end, his face reddening and his fists clenched. “How can I?” Addy pondered the notion. In all fairness to Oliver, it actually was a good question… one Addy hadn’t prepared for though. She ran through several scenarios, but each only led straight back to the notion of not being believed in the first place. So, personal was out of the question… ‘But professional though…’ Addy grimaced. She didn’t even want to touch on that. It was a hornet’s nest through and through these days, but it could be the thing she was looking for. Psyche could be ruined and this could be some trick, and Oliver could sell the information out there and find another cure in his luxury apartment anywhere downtown… but Addy couldn’t think of anything else that he could see fit to find trust in her with. So, sighing heavily, Addy looked at Oliver with the utmost seriousness. “Okay… I think I have an idea. To prove that I don’t want to trick you and only save your life, I would be breaking at least a dozen rules and so many personal protocols around here… I might lose my job even, but… I could tell you the truth behind Psyche. No lies… what I know, you will too.” The offer had never been made to a Little before, and frankly, Addy wasn’t even sure that she could get the video everyone had to watch on their first day working here from Dr. Halgen, but just for the simple fact that Oliver wasn’t telling her ‘no’ right away was a phenomenal sign. Oliver looked off into the distance for a moment. It was clear his head was rummaging through what that could mean… or if he even wanted to know. Sometimes, ignorance was truly bliss in a place like this. But… in the end, he looked back at Addy and nodded. “Agreed…” Addy left the room right away after that. She wanted to hug him or to say that it was going to be all okay and to celebrate the fact that he didn’t have to die anymore. The perpetual scowl he wore on his face though told her that now might not be the best time. As she trudged back up the stairs, her mind swirled with what had just happened. The big truth had been laid bare at Oliver’s feet. It was a monumental risk and problem for her… for him… it just wasn’t a great situation to be in. She would have given anything to not be here right now. But it could mean saving his life. And as she went back into her room, she saw the picture of Mindy she kept on her desk. It was when she was still so happy… so full of energy… life. In a puff, all that was gone and her precious Little was dead… lost to cancer. They had found the cure decades ago, but she was simply too weak to accept the cure and she had died. Now, she was finding herself in that very same position, which is why she was willing to risk everything. This was literally her second chance in life to correct the errors of the universe. She now had better medicine and better treatments for cancer once again. Oliver had rejected the standby cure as well, but now… now she had her answer… her cure. It would break and damn all this place stood for, but she was perfectly willing to cross that line to save a life. Of course, all this still hinged on the approval of Dr. Halgen and the eventual acceptance by Oliver. Her guilt was real but her fear of them rejecting her, even now with life in their hands, she wasn’t sure if she could stomach it and weather the storm of a dead Little once more. Losing Mindy nearly killed her last time. With a cure so close within her reach, Addy shuddered just thinking about being so close and yet still with the fringe possibility of losing it all in a single huff of revulsion or something as arbitrary as rules. Sitting at her desk once more, she nearly wondered… ‘So what if they do reject me? Maybe I just push and do it anyway to save a life. Lose it all but save a Little…’ But Addy shook her head quickly from the notion. It was ludicrous to even ponder when they both could say yes tomorrow. Still though… ‘What even are the rules against or for saving a life?’ Addy needed more information. For now, though, she held the page with the cure firmly in her hands. ‘By the book… by the book…’ It would be her mantra from now until the time that Oliver was cured. She wasn’t sure what would happen if rejected, but she did know one thing for absolute certainty. She was not going to lose another Little here.

Actually... it's not weird at all. I'm writing this from the perspective of a Big, and that means a few things. The first story focused on a Little, which is one of the reasons that Patrick's fellow Littles were more emphasized than the nurses or rest of the staff. He cared about those who he was interacting with... not the random nurse down the hall picking up toys. There is a reason that a large part of that story was mystery and the unknown and unpreditability of what was going to happen in the end. Patrick wasn't on the inside so everything that happened to him and the reveal of it all was always new to him (and you all as the readers). This story though, Nurse Addy (and you all as well, presuming you read the first) knows the plot of the Littles here at Psyche. Being involved with the board and managment though, she also knows about the subtle hypnosis and minor drugs already and the back channels of this place and a higher-level view. She's focused more on the staff, like the other nurses and even the cook Federica. She only focuses on other Littles when they mess with her own and not necessarily worrying about all the other's own treatments and ills. She's also unsure of her place at the moment, for now only focusing on helping Oliver, but you all will see that a change is happening with her that's just about to kick off. Also, looking at this trilogy as a whole, this story is the 'turn.' The first got your all's feet wet to this universe. I made sure to introduce conflicts that were on-going throughout the series, but you all needed to know the rules before we got into some of the more background details. Which is where this story comes into place. With a Big as the main POV, Addy knows more and sees more in this society naturally. She's still learning things, but this is when things shift from more personal medical to more company-wide. Make no mistake, Juventas deals with drugs and medical procedures, so it's still here, but Addy will be seeing a broader picture very soon. And no spoilers, but the final story will focus on one Little in particular and conclude both his storyline and the rest I've already started. Sorry for the long explanation, but no... I don't think your thought is weird. I've been meaning to note this for a bit, but yes... a Big did 'write this.' Just like a 'Little wrote' the first story. And it's dramatic because Juventas is corrupt and Oliver is dying. When you have those two simple yet crazy events, a lot of things become chaotic for our would-be protagnoist caught in the middle of both storms.

Hey everyone! Just a reminder, I won’t be posting again this week, but two more chapters should be coming at some point next week. These two will be the final of this first section, and after, I will be taking a break. It’ll probably only be for about a week… maybe two if things get really crazy, but I’ll definitely remind you of this in chapter 12 and likely post an announcement on here again closer to when I’m coming back. As I noted in another chapter, this first section is focusing more on Addy and her time as a nurse… but the last chapter was more of a preview of what’s to come. The second section will also be a lot more traditional with Littles and all that, so if that’s something you like, loads more is coming. For now, though, and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 10: Frantic Studies and Scribbles in Red The birds were chirping with their finest songs this morning. Addy sat on the back porch and Mindy was right beside her, switching from watching her favorite cartoons on the tablet that Addy had given her to watching the Littles play in front of her. Occasionally, she would smile… giggle… even let out a chuckle or two, but her strength was waning and her spirit diminishing right along with it. Addy sighed as silently as she could to herself as she looked at her poor Little once more… now wheelchair-bound and likely not to get up from it ever again. Addy still feverishly worked through each and every night to find a cure, but textbook after textbook… she was still hitting a dead end. As much as she didn’t want to believe it, Mindy was dying. Her body was simply too weak for even the strangest and mildest of cures out there. She had even broken into the stacks in the basement to find something there. She found a few things… but Mindy wouldn’t be Mindy anymore after most of them. The cures were old and barbaric to say the least. Surgeries and chemicals would be Mindy’s life for the foreseeable future and even then, after a year, she might still end up dying as a mere husk of herself with a few of what she found. So, tossing them aside in disgust, Addy made a vow never to return there again… At least until she had to only as an absolute last resort. So, her search continued, likely in vain and tireless but not wasted. At this point, her and Mindy were nearly inseparable. Several of her friends, her dad, her brother… even Dr. Halgen had talked to her with their serious concerns. All were worried about her, but Addy brushed them aside… she just couldn’t give up on her frail little Mindy… At the same time though, an awful ugly feeling started to assert itself in her mind. Out here, where the flowers were blooming and only a handful of perfect puffy clouds in the sky… her Little couldn’t enjoy any of it the way she was meant to. The other Littles, her class now mostly diapered or in pull-ups and just waiting to be demoted, were having the time of their lives. No worries… no fears… nearly all cured. And they were even at the point that if they had an accident, they might sniffle for a moment or two as they patted their thickly padded crotch… but another Little would then ask them to catch a frisbee or a ball or ask to join in with a game of tag and they would be off. Yes, they were coming along nicely… But Mindy wasn’t with them, not really, anymore and Addy’s heart was breaking for her. ‘Adults’ from Earth would come here to be cured, but they would leave this place unburdened by the stresses and fears that once plagued their lives. They could still go back home after five years and bounce back, but for now… Addy thought of this place like a vacation for them. Save their life and ease their burdens? It was a hard offer to pass up, and she was always gleeful when it turned out okay. Mindy began to cough and Addy flashed over to her, that gleeful notion fading every day now. Her cough was nothing new though. Her cancer was spreading and no matter what she or Bruce or Dr. Halgen did… nothing seemed to work. Fortunately, this time, Mindy got her cough under control and looked back pleadingly at Addy. “Addy?” she asked weakly of her nurse. “Can… can you do s… something for me?” Addy got out of her chair and walked over to in front of Mindy and crouched before smiling at her wide and taking her weak tiny hands. “Anything, sweetie… you name it, and I’ll do it. I promise.” Mindy faintly smiled. “I know you don’t want to lose me, but… bury me somewhere peaceful… like this…” She raised up her hand to gesture to the beautiful lawn in front of them; IVs now permanently attached to the top of her hand and nearly weighing it down completely. Addy wanted to object, but she had made a promise and at this point, the last thing she could do was to say no to her dying Little. “I… I…” Addy shook the tears out of her eyes. “I will… but you’re going to be fine.” Addy’s words came out in such a way that it was hard to tell if she was more trying to convince Mindy… or herself. “That’s nice…” She breathed in heavily, her frail chest wheezing considerably. It was something that concerned Addy more than most of her other symptoms at this point. She made a mental note to schedule another scan downstairs for her as soon as possible. If it was another tumor, it could be affecting her lungs, and it would have to be removed or she would… ‘No, no, Addy. Keep it together… don’t go there…’ Mindy smiled once more and gripped Addy’s hands as tightly as she could. A stiff breeze could probably dislodge her grip, but the effort was still there. “I… I love you…” she nearly whispered. “You…?” Addy felt a flood of emotions surging through her body. By now, both had made a pact that Mindy would be going home with Addy as soon as she was cured. Her choosing day would be easy and really just be a formality of the facility. Still though, the ‘L’ word had never been uttered between them before… Mindy then rasped, something seemingly caught in the back of her throat as it came out wet… labored. Her eyes then fluttered closed and she wheeled around in her chair… before going still… limp. Addy frowned. ‘Must be tired, the poor dear.’ But then she looked closely at her Little to be… motionless. ‘Wait… no movement. She can’t be… no, no.’ Addy’s eyes widened and she lurched forward and began to shake Mindy back awake. “Mindy… Mindy, baby… come on, honey…” Nothing… no movement. Addy’s soul dropped and her heart froze. “Dr. Halgen!” She checked her pulse… nothing. “Code blue! Code blue!” Several of the Littles began screaming, but Addy didn’t pay them any attention. She was focused on Mindy, dropping her chair back and starting her honed skills of Little certified CPR. Addy didn’t want to hurt the Little, but Mindy wasn’t going to leave her… not like this… not today. ‘Come on… come on!’ * * * Addy’s eyes snapped open. Once more, she could feel her own heart nearly beating out of her chest in panic at the memory from what felt like so long ago. ‘Damn dreams… they’re getting worse… getting closer to…’ She shook her head from the thought. She knew what she was heading toward, and worse, she knew exactly why she was heading there in a hurry. She only needed to look over to Oliver… asleep in his bed. He wasn’t in a wheelchair, and he wasn’t even hooked up to an IV or wheezing with each of his little breaths. All that was still good, but Addy could still see the cracks forming. Wetting the bed a little over a week ago wasn’t great, and she hoped above all that it would stop… and it did, at least for two nights. Then it came back, and then left, and then came back again. It was a lot of work and was always accompanied by fresh tears, shame, and terror by Oliver and all the reassurance that Addy could muster up to her frightened Little. She knew that it just had to be the ‘new project’ that had gotten Dr. Tracey and Mr. Drakos so worked up about… she just couldn’t prove it yet… or even what it did. That would require communication with other facilities and cooperation with other nurses. Addy had noticed an uptick in the number of pull-ups and diapers ordered… but she just couldn’t quite place it yet. She only had Oliver and Katrina to go off… and Katrina was more advanced than the other Littles. In fact, she was already in pull-ups at night now. Addy might have been thankful that she didn’t put up a fuss going into them… but it really just clouded the water, only growing her suspicion of everything here now. But most concerning of all for Oliver at least… she hadn’t found a cure for him yet. Oliver was still dying. The medications she had scoured everywhere for were helping him out stay mobile and keeping him clear-minded and awake. It exhausted him to no end by about midday, but he could at least have fun with the others, something that he seemed to be caving on lately. It should’ve been a celebration… an event that marked when Oliver began to lower his self-imposed shields and just be a Little here… but it wasn’t. Addy ensured he got a scan every week and his just got back… it wasn’t good. The cancer was spreading, and most terrifying of all… it now looked like it was in his brain… exactly like Mindy’s had done. His heart and lungs were still clear, something Addy thanked her lucky stars for every day… but it wasn’t enough. She knew his time was running out and she knew with Juventas being the way it was, he might be booted out of the program… no help, no cure… no Big to protect him. Oliver began to stir and Addy sighed. She could smell the ammonia… she knew what was coming… again. “Sweetie…” she tried to gently nestle him awake. “Come on, honey…” If Oliver cared about any of her language with him these days, he never said anything about it. “Time to get the day started, sweetie…” “Wha…?” Oliver steadily opened his eyes, but like he had started to do recently, as soon as his sleepy eyes locked with Addy, he smiled. “Morning, Addy…” Addy could feel a flutter in her chest over just that cute look staring right back at her. Small and barely noticeable with any other Little maybe, but Oliver was different. For him, it was progress in the right direction. It was trust… a bond between them, and definitely not something Addy was going to take for granted. “Morning, honey… we need to get started for the day and…” She didn’t have to say another word as Oliver’s eyes drew close toward his crotch. With shaking fingers, he pried off his sheets and saw the dampened mess he had left in the night. “Not again…” His voice was so resigned… so apathetic to this whole thing now. Tears swam in his eyes, but his confidence and anger were greatly diminished now. Addy noticed. She always noticed that sort of thing. It was a sign for her… just not the one she needed right now. He was coming to terms with his regression, and that was great, but with the unknown effects of the ‘new project’ everything was murky. She needed more proof of a problem, or that this wouldn’t just go away on its own. She wanted her Littles to regress naturally and on their own. Forcing something was effective… every Big out there knew that much at least. A Big could regress a Little overnight with the proper hypnosis and even surgery to push things along, but if there was even a scrap of the Little left, they would fight their new state for the rest of their days… at least until their mind collapsed on itself and they were mentally gone forever. That was always a heartbreaking sight, and something Addy wanted to stay far away from. For her, Littles needed to see that this life was better. It was slower than say Penny’s methods for her Littles, but they wouldn’t fight a stuffy… a highchair… a diaper when the time came. For her Littles, they were just tools to address a problem with their muscles or bladder or emotional state, and they would instead take them with grace, even embrace them sometimes. So, for now, Addy just smiled and gave Oliver a small hug. “It’s okay, honey. It’s just an accident. You let me take care of these and you pop in the shower, okay?” Oliver wasn’t the only one getting used to this routine. Addy knew just what to say to both reassure Oliver and ensure that he wouldn’t be terrified of her for causing this mess. Guilt was powerful… trust was better. Oliver simply nodded and Addy went with him to the bathroom to turn everything on. Once it was all running, she made sure to step out of the room. A Little stripping was always a fine line in her practice. For her, a naked Little was nothing… just a patient needing her help. For a Little though, their modesty was often one of their last barriers. They cared about how they were seen… even if they long ago accepted that they needed diapers, they could still be shy about a change… especially if it was in public. So, for that moment, she left Oliver alone and went to go check on Katrina, waking her up and already starting her bath. She was further along and she could use the gentler touch of the warm water soaking around her. Plus, Addy didn’t need to guess about her state… she knew Katrina’s pull-up was already going to be wet this morning. ‘How long until it’s wet pants for this one?’ Addy wasn’t sure but considering that Katrina was all smiles and barely showed a scrap of humiliation with the faded flowers on the front of her pull-up this morning, Addy was sure she could nearly count the days on one hand now. Still, Addy had to focus. Today was another round of treatments and every Little would be getting better… except Oliver. So, she got her Littles ready for the day, made sure they were full of breakfast, and then retreated to her own room to both prepare for Valentine’s Day tomorrow and to study more cures. Desperate, she had plunged back into the stacks in the basement. “Okay…” She scanned the books and knew her first task was to divide them up. “Cures that are debilitating on the left, problems that could be solved or are just humiliating in the middle, and everything else on the right…” With qualifiers like that, Addy suspected the right would be piled up high. Unfortunately for her, only three books eventually landed there. About a dozen went to the middle… but over half were on the left side for potential cancer treatments. “Well… shit…” Addy still persisted though. Cracking open the first from the right, she set about reading as she cut out the several hearts that would be needed for tomorrow’s activities. For Little’s, the day had to be handled carefully. Like elementary school, the concept of love had to be limited to familial or more friendly variety. But unlike those ignorant Bigs who just plugged their ears or covered their eyes, Addy knew the Littles were still adults… and most still had feelings… desires. For now at least… So, for Valentine’s Day, it was tempting fate and several facilities barely raised a point to celebrate it. Addy, however, knew it could be a powerful gesture for everyone involved. Being situated in the middle of the second month, Oliver’s and Katrina’s group were now the middle ones. They could see the significance of the day and still be lightly enamored with each other. The third group would just ‘love’ everyone they came across… so the only real danger was the newest group. Brooding, angry, and unsteady, they had already put a foul taste in Addy’s mouth, and they were still the types to push things a little… far. She persisted though. ‘For Katrina… for Oliver…’ She made sure to use her best penmanship as she signed the several cards as she read potential cure after promising treatment in the dusty text before her. Her confidence was up each time she found something new… only for it to be trashed when she compared the requirements of the treatment to Oliver’s medical file. ‘Drats! Another one incompatible. For something that’s only a maybe, I definitely don’t want Oliver to suddenly break out in hives, or…’ She flipped the page. ‘Yeah… lose all his hair…’ Addy was getting nowhere with the current texts, and she saw the latest reports with Oliver. Despite his strength with the new medication, his body was giving out. In less than two months, it would fail and he wouldn’t last much longer after that. He was still luxuriating in the advances of Big medicine, with him likely having died last week or next without it… but it wasn’t enough. So, desperate as she was, Addy’s eyes skipped over the middle stack of texts and looked straight at those on the far left. Each was elaborate and complex… money obviously having been spent on each volume of potential cures and treatments for cancer. She knew that several of these had already been traded to Earth as part of their treaty… but she knew just how bad each could be. ‘Just a peak though…’ Addy swallowed her own morality for a moment. ‘What is death compared to a momentary loss…?’ She wasn’t sure about everything that was contained in the first volume, but as soon as she opened the pages, she wanted to vomit and immediately regretted opening it in the first place. Not everything was all doom and gloom, but flipping through the pages, at least 90% were just downright awful. “Shit…” Addy’s eyes looked at a random page, and she felt her mouth fumbling the words with dry horrific repetition. “Stage III osteosarcoma with lung metastases… removal of affected lung and bone is required. Significant resection and amputation of affected area required. Little should be subjected to hyperbaric chamber and artificial implements until new ones can be crafted with printing technology. To fuse primary organs, radiation and regular injections of Orchidaceae Regressus are needed.” Addy had to immediately stop. ‘Orchidaceae Regressus… those lying bastards…’ Found on the slopes of most mountain ranges and taught to by her dad, Addy knew the effects of the plant were ride ranging… but horrific to most Littles. Causing some kind of allergic reaction, while it would reverse most cancerous or bodily damage, it would also cause what was essentially strokes in their brains and potential partial muscle death… with focus on their intestines and legs. “Well, fuck that!” Addy said perhaps a bit too loud, quickly looking behind her to see if anyone was suddenly at her door. When there was no one, she focused back on the book, flipping to the next page with disgust and finding a curious drawing… something that she wasn’t outright disgusted with. ‘Okay… just one more and then…’ “Addy! Addy!” she heard her name being shouted out before Cassie burst into her room. “Come quick! It’s… it’s Oliver!” Addy nearly jumped up. “What? What is it, Cassie?” “Come on!” she gestured toward herself and out the door. “Follow me and I’ll explain on the way.” Not missing a beat, Addy followed her friend and increasing trusted confidante in this place these days, her heart racing and her mind swirling with just what was happening with her Little. She tried not to think back to Mindy and how she fell off at the end, but until Cassie spoke, her mind was an evil thing. “He… he just started screaming,” Cassie explained, barreling down the stairs. “Couldn’t make heads or tails of it, so Erin and the other nurses moved the Littles away and I tried to get him to calm down but then he started shouting and pointing at thin air…” Addy nearly froze right there on the steps, this story sounding terribly familiar to her. “He was mumbling… crying… I tried to take him away, but then he started saying, ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!’” Cassie gasped as she finally made it to the main floor before turning back to Addy who made it as well. “He then… well, he started calling out for a… Carmen?” She looked at her friend directly, signs of concern and questioning written all over her face. “Does that name sound familiar to you?” Addy winced and nodded. “It does… come on. I’ll need you to keep everyone back and let me deal with Oliver alone. I think…” She sighed deeply. “I think one of the spots I saw on his scan the other day is catching up with him… I think he’s seeing someone from his past… someone dead.” Cassie didn’t say a word but nodded solemnly and guided Addy dutifully back outside. Her own Littles were pushed to the side, anxious already and wondering what was happening. Being the good nurse she was, she quickly went to them and pulled back, giving one last nod at Addy before disappearing. Addy took a deep breath and slowly approached the rocking and crying Oliver, sitting all alone on the grass. She had seen it with Mindy before and now… seeing it with Oliver as well, sank her heart into oblivion. She just wanted him to be safe… happy. Even if it meant sending another precious Little away, she just wanted him to live. But that was a fear for the future. Today, she knew she had to calm him down and ground him on this plane of existence. What he saw wasn’t real, but his emotions and sadness and guilt certainly were. Crouching down, Addy stretched out her hand but then pulled it back. What she wouldn’t give to be able to comfort him so tenderly right then… but she knew that depending on how deep he was into all this, touching him now would be worse. Knowing his trauma as much as she did, for all she knew, Oliver could have mistaken her hand for one of the criminals… the tire holding him back… or even Fernando himself. So, Addy took another breath and spoke as clearly and as tenderly as she could to him. “Oliver? Sweetie? Can you hear me?” The Little, emotionally wrecked and still quivering like a leaf ready to blow away entirely by a stiff breeze, turned to look at the soothing voice coming from his rear. His face was puff, wet, and his eyes were red and full of despair. “A… Addy? Is… is that you?” he asked, his voice quaking under the strain of his sorrow. “Yes, Oliver… it’s me. I’m real… I’m here…” She saw Oliver shake with fear. “Addy! She’s saying it’s my fault!” he wailed, gripping the dead grass in his hands and wincing, likely at everything he was hearing. “It’s not! It’s not! It was Fernando! I tried to help you, but… but… I couldn’t!” “Breathe, honey. Breathe…” She saw Oliver attempt to breathe more slowly and then move toward her a little, and seeing that, her mind hit on a plan of action. It was a risk, but that tiny sign was enough for Addy to take a chance. Conventionally, she might have stayed away if it was any other Little, but she saw the signs, the distress, his pain… she knew he needed some direct comfort. He needed something to ground him back to reality. In this case, it just so happened to be her words… and her body. So, with a deep breath, she reached out and pulled him into her arms. Only a few weeks ago, she might have expected a scream or a struggle or even on the worst days, a potential smack across her face. She wouldn’t have cared about any of those, only backing off to let him ease out of it himself, but today… Oliver didn’t do any of that. Instead, he clung to her tightly, her clothing becoming little handles for him to grip. Her arms became like rafters supporting the immense weight of his burden. Finally, he raised a weak finger and pointed just south of them and to the tree line beyond. “She… she’s there, Addy. I… I… I know she’s dead, but she’s yelling at me. She’s… ah!” Oliver let go of Addy and clamped his hands tight around his ears. “She’s yelling at me! Shouting so loud! Make her stop! Make her stop!” Addy winced. She didn’t want to, but she knew what this meant. Both auditory and visual hallucinations weren’t good. She knew if she probably did another scan, Oliver would be even worse off. Seeing that, she knew his time was even more limited now. It filled her with pain and sorrow of her own, but she had to shove that aside. Oliver needed her and he needed help now. “Shhh, shhh…” Addy rocked him, holding him tightly in her arms. “I’ve got you, honey. You’re not going anywhere. You just stay right here in my arms, and you focus on my words. She’s not there. I am. Focus on me. She’ll be gone soon, but I’ll be here… I’m not going anywhere…” Oliver continued to cry and to rock helpless in Addy’s arms but still nodded and pressed his head against her chest, like he was trying to block out the sound of Carmen’s voice with the sound of Addy’s beating heart. For Addy, each action she did made her cling onto him even tighter. She knew she needed help though. She wanted to be enough for him, but she also knew that he needed medicine now. Between the likely expanding spots in his brain and his guilt, Carmen wasn’t going away on her own. So, having trained for this, keeping her arms wrapped around tightly, she flexed her wrists and managed to get a call for help from her watch. Designed for the nurses for just such a purpose, only a minute later, Dr. Halgen was running over to her with Bruce. As tightly cocooned in her arms as he was, Oliver didn’t even notice them until Addy pried one hand off his ear to ask for his consent. Addy could have gone without it… it wasn’t unprecedented around here in an emergency like this for the protection of others, but she didn’t want to risk any thread of relationship she had with Oliver. Seeing him all curled up into her, she didn’t think he would go away so fast, but… it was still nice to see him nod. Moments later, he was out. Addy made sure to carry him with Bruce to get another scan, and to her tormented horror, she saw the spots had grown in his brain. It was serious and they all knew it. Juventas medicine could block those signals and allow Oliver to be weaned off the medicine to be conscious and not see Carmen anymore… but his time was growing thin. So, the next day, when everyone else was opening their cards, Oliver and Addy were nearly inseparable. There was a bond growing between them that everyone noticed… even Katrina. But being who she was, she just made sure to give Oliver a bracelet she had made for him, as well as both him and Addy their own cards, handwritten in her increasingly shaky hands. It was another sign of something going terribly wrong around here, but up half the night, Addy couldn’t help but fall asleep with Oliver in her chair. * * * When she reopened her eyes, Oliver was gone and her heart beat a mile a minute when she felt that utter emptiness. Bolting up amongst the Valentine’s Day decorations, she looked around. “Oliver? Oliver? Where are you, sweetie?” “Addy…” Dr. Halgen walked in the room and calmed Addy down as quickly as she could, explaining that he needed some air and some space and that he had been taken to the park. Addy nearly dug her nails into her palms hearing that, but she nodded in resigned acceptance. “Addy… we need to talk,” Dr. Halgen noted calmly. “Let’s have a seat…” Both then took a seat and faced each other, Dr. Halgen’s face showing the weariness of time and stress of the job lately. “I see you with Oliver, Addy… are you… are you and he…?” “I’m not his mommy,” Addy quickly noted, deducing the notion behind her boss’ and friend’s words. “We’re just close. He needs someone stable in his life. You know it’s those blasted hypnotics, right? Making him open all up and be vulnerable that’s doing this…” “And his cancer…” Dr. Halgen added flatly. “Yes… and that…” Addy sighed. “I just… I want him to be okay, but…” “But you’re running out of answers,” Dr. Halgen correctly guess, as evidenced by Addy’s subsequent nod. “I figured as much. I’ve seen you hitting the basement stacks… You swore never to go down there again unless you were desperate… any leads though?” Addy shook her head. “Well… that’s unfortunate, but…” She sighed and looked down for a moment, like she was ashamed of what she was about to ask. “Have you considered what I said before?” Addy blinked, recalling her words. “You mean about giving into my instincts?” Dr. Halgen nodded and for a moment looked relieved. “Then, yes,” Addy confirmed, recalling the several times recently she had given in to her instincts lately… but just not all of them. “More than a few times. Seems to have started working, but…” “You feel a little guilt, huh?” Dr. Halgen correctly guessed again. Addy nodded. “Yes. I just… I want him to be happy… not a mindless drone… you know? I know our protocols. I know what the board wants me to do… what they want to do with him… with all the Littles that come here that are like him. But… I just… I don’t want him to be a vegetable.” “Yes, well… you haven’t done it yet and it’s okay to feel that way.” She leaned forward in her chair. “Addy… you are one of the best nurses here. Your dedication seems to know no bounds, and you care for your Littles as if they were already your own. So, please… don’t feel the guilt. Just… maybe consider something more for Oliver. Consider his life and weigh that against your own guilt.” Addy was about to blow, her rage seemingly erupting like a virulent volcano wanting to explode… but Dr. Halgen quickly stopped her. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret. Just… think about what I said, okay?” Addy let out a breath of hot steam while giving a curt nod, her anger having to be ditched rather than expressed. She might have argued or even said at least one retort, but a parade of rambunctious Littles needing to go down for a nap from being cranky or others simply being too wired, could be heard a long way off. Snapping to the window, she saw the Littles of the facility return. As predicted, several looked about ready to shoot to the moon with the amount of pent-up energy they still had while others looked as if they were about to drop. Oliver, bringing up the rear, looked like he wasn’t even paying attention to where he was walking… only going through the steps to get back home. Seeing him like that, and getting a wave to leave by Dr. Halgen, she raced to the front stoop. There, she saw Yolanda holding onto her Little for dear life. Immediately, on seeing Addy, she frowned… and didn’t even stop until everyone was in the living room, the remnants of Valentine’s Day all around them still. Addy looked over at Oliver, now just sulking on the floor. Worried that he might have hallucinated again, she pushed Yolanda. “Hey… so what’s up with Oliver?” she asked in a whisper. Yolanda sighed and briefly covered her Little’s ears. “Dang it, Addy. You know I’m all for Little’s rights, but… something has to give with him.” “Did something happen?” she asked, trying to remain patient. “He got all twitchy… first when we got him to leave you and second when he got the playground,” she noted coldly, clearly not knowing what was happening with Oliver and his trauma with the tires located there. “Oh, well… I can help him there.” She looked down at Oliver and saw him simply moving a ball a few inches back and forth between his legs. “Thanks for…” “Just fix him up, okay?” Yolanda pressed, interrupting Addy. “We’re all worried about him… about you, but… there’s a time and a place to do your job and to hold your morals. Saving his life takes a priority… so just… get it done, okay?” Addy was beyond flabbergasted over this reprimand from a fellow nurse. On one hand, she knew she shouldn’t have been surprised with his sleepless nights and all. It might have been different if he was getting better, but he wasn’t. On the other hand, though, nurses rarely, if ever, interfered in the operations of their fellow nurses. It went against a code of ethics they had established back when her mom was running this place. Still, Addy sighed, nodded, and gave her some affirmations that she would take care of it… at least to reassure that things would be okay. Addy had to have that confidence in her research, and she did have a few ways if she abandoned all her morals, but she also didn’t feel like she was there yet… at least until she saw a visible sign directly from Oliver himself. So, for the moment, once Yolanda didn’t mount any other objections, Addy sat down against the couch. Just as she was about to speak though, Damien in the other room and Xander in their room both sneered at Oliver. “Look! We’ve got another crier on her hands. Boo hoo! Boo hoo!” Oliver quickly put his hands up to his ears, the ball drifting away from his reach. “Xander!” Cassie hissed, now taking her friendship with Addy to the next level and reigning in her own Little. “We do not make fun of other Littles here. Now, are you going to apologize and keep your toys and your crown… or am I going to have to take them away?” Xander hesitated for a moment, but after Cassie put her hands on her hips, the Little nearly trembled at the prospect. He was still a little shit and misbehaved Little unworthy of their attention… a former criminal even, but he was showing signs of cracking. “Sorry, Olly…” he mumbled out. It wasn’t good enough for Addy, but Cassie was in charge and when she didn’t push, likely knew that she wasn’t going to get anymore out of him. With Xander quickly going back to his toys after and Damien running off after Addy gave him a threatening glare, with Penny nowhere in sight once more, she turned her attention back to Oliver. Around them lay cards and decorated stuffies and even specialty pillows that Erin had pulled down from the attic. There seemed to be love all around, but looking at Oliver, she saw only fear. Checking her watch, she smiled for a second. ‘Yep. 3 in the afternoon. Right on time for his nap…’ It had essentially become habit by now, and Addy wasn’t about to change that. He needed his rest, and when she looked at him closely, she saw both sadness and exhaustion. “Oliver? You okay, buddy?” Oliver shook his head and didn’t move his hands for a second. Addy smiled to herself, his actions looking more and more like a Little every day. He was going out of order a Little should go with… but she couldn’t help but stifle a giggle over his immense cuteness. Still, she wanted to help, so she scooted over and gently pulled his hands from his ears. “Oliver… it’s okay. No one is going to make fun of you now. It’s going to be okay…” Oliver looked around, homing in on Xander… but he was simply too busy with his trains. Oliver didn’t seem to trust him in the slightest but turned back to Addy. “You promise?” Addy looked back over and she was tempted to prove it herself but decided against it. Cassie was keeping an eye on him and with her new regulations with him, she felt they would be okay. “I promise… now, do you want to talk about what happened at the park?” Addy waited for him to respond. With his three times weekly therapy, Oliver was making his way through his emotions. Considering today and what had happened with his hallucination of Carmen, he still had a long way to go, but she also knew a few techniques to employ in the meantime. First up, always check with him first if he wants to talk about it. Oliver looked back up at Addy, his eyes already misty… but silently, shook his head. “Okay…” She was a little disappointed, but she also knew not to push these sorts of things. Instead, she knew what Oliver needed right now. “Let’s get you upstairs and lay you down for a bit.” Oliver looked at her like he was going to protest, but once again, just silently nodded his head. Now, normally, Addy would spring into action, gather her Little up, give them a stuffy and kiss them on the forehead before turning off their light for an afternoon nap. Oliver wasn’t there yet, so she simply stood up and hoped he would follow her. He did, but… things were a little different today it seemed. Normally, Oliver would trudge up the stairs and collapse into bed… all by himself. Today though… Addy was about five seconds away from taking his hand or even carrying him up herself… permission or not. She didn’t, but she could feel her instincts tugging her in one direction… some place she wasn’t sure if anyone was ready for yet. Still, she got him in his room and pulled off his shoes for him. She was feeling the pleasure of the burden in caring for a Little and she was okay with it, but she was feeling that itch to pry open his secret stash hidden in his room like she did with Katrina already. She wanted to give him comfortable clothing and stuffies and sippy cups and hug him all up… but she didn’t. For a moment though… there was one thing she considered… her fingers nearly reaching out to grab something she had hidden under the sink last week. ‘Do I dare?’ She knew what was there… even gathered the most mature version of it that she could find around the house. Katrina loved her butterflies and flowers, but for Oliver… she knew he definitely wasn’t ready for all that yet. She had a feeling it was coming, whether she wanted it to or not, but she stopped herself cold. ‘No… not yet. Wait until after his nap.’ So, she pulled up his covers, turned off his light, and left his room without another word… his eyes already closed. In her study, she was distracted by the notion of what she had left under the sink. More and more, she was feeling their call… a necessity in these times, but a step she knew there was no coming back from… at least for the next five years. She knew it was coming, but today… today was going to be her test. Determined, she went right back to studying the texts, a few… interesting ideas popping up. She would never consider them… or at least now without a sign from Oliver. She almost felt like she was tricking herself though. ‘It’s such a simple test for him to pass. I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I do. I could almost guarantee it, but… I guess that’s maybe the point by now though.’ Regardless, a little over an hour later, Addy stretched at her desk and looked at her monitor. Oliver was still sound asleep, and she couldn’t help but reach out and touch the screen, her fingers guiding along his hair so gracefully. But her moment was disturbed by her watch going off. She wanted him to sleep tonight so she knew she had to wake him now. At his door though, she could see the Little’s checklist now and she knew that Oliver was coming right along, and that was good… but stepping through the door, she knew there was no turning back. Whatever she found, she knew she would have to act on it. She couldn’t doubt herself now, and though she knew it would hurt both of them if she was right, she forged ahead. And once again, she could smell it. Before, it was acrid… a sign of distress or a major problem that shouldn’t have occurred for him. Now, the smell of ammonia was feeling like something else. It was like the smell of a steak when it was done, the bubbling sugar on a marshmallow when it was just crispy and brown enough without being burnt. It was strange to Addy, her brain feeling almost a tinge of happiness from all this, and she wanted to hate herself, but she also found herself drifting back toward Oliver’s sink. She knew what she had stored there. She knew the deal she had made with herself, but now that she was here, her fingers stopped short. Katrina was sad for two days when she first donned them, but she wasn’t sure about Oliver. What was better… this new item or a wet bed? It was a question that Bigs had been pushing on Littles for years. Now, once again, Addy was left to ponder her choices. But she knew what she had to do. Call it health or instinct or whatever else, but Addy opened that sink with confidence at last. And pulled out a plain blue pull-up with five dark blue streaks running widthwise across the front and the back. It was simple and plain, but as Addy felt it in her fingers, she knew it was so much more. A sign of defeat for some but a sign of progress for others. A pull-up’s life was so short with a Little. It marked a road sign saying ‘danger ahead’ for a Little… but for a Big… ‘more protection ahead.’ It was a contrast and one that Addy didn’t want to embrace, but now knew she had to. So, she quietly stepped into the main area of his room. For a moment, Addy could have sworn she saw Oliver hugging his sheets like he was hugging a impromptu stuffy… but it was gone in a flash. What remained was her Little… frail, scared, tiny… and definitely wet. This time, she could even see it through the sheets. ‘Nighttime is one thing, but this was only an hour…’ Addy sighed, knowing what she had to do now, regardless of her guilt. Stepping quietly over, Addy then pulled over her footrest from the rocking chair and sat down on it before gently nudging Oliver awake. “Come on, sleepyhead. It’s time to get up…” Oliver’s eyes opened gently, now full of life… energy. It was a tiny sign, but Addy was always relieved when she saw it. It was a notion that she was right with her instincts. Oliver needed a nap. Oliver needed hugs. And feeling the padded garment in her fingers, Addy knew she was going to be right about this… regardless of how much guilt she was feeling today. Oliver stretched wide and gave out a cute little gurgle before looking and smiling back wide at Addy. “Hey there…” His smile faded and he suddenly looked sheepish. “Sorry about earlier. I just… playgrounds… you know?” Addy nodded. “And that’s okay. That’s what I’ve got you talking to a therapist about. Until you’re okay, don’t worry about it. You need a hug from me, just ask. You know I never mind those…” She left her words fade off, an insinuation of something larger… something that Oliver seemed to pick up on and blush over. Addy liked seeing that, but she knew what she had to do. It was like ripping off a band-aid… quick and fast. Terrible at the time, but it would be over. So, she took a deep breath. “Oliver… I think I know there’s something I’m about to see…” Without even a second of pause, she then yanked his sheets down and off him. It was a risk, but as she suspected… wet. Oliver yelped… something involuntary, like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Shame enveloped his face and he looked like he wanted to hide… to dive away and never be seen again. Addy couldn’t have that fester though and quickly placed her large and reassuring warm hand on his shoulder. “Oliver… it’s okay. I thought this might happen… again.” She didn’t want to be cold with her words… only direct and without any hint of shame or humiliation heaped on him. She needed him to know that he was both okay and yet would need something… more. “Oliver…” She sighed deeply, never liking this step and just hoping they would be okay one day on the other side of it. “I think… I think we need to talk about next steps here.” Oliver’s eyes grew wide… but not as wide when he finally spotted as Addy lifted the pull-up she had been hiding. “I know it’s not ideal, but honey… you’ve wet the bed several nights in the past two weeks now. And now during a small nap?” Addy halted herself before her emotions got too intense and she relaxed once more. “I just… what do you say, huh? Just for the night and just for now. You get better and no more accidents…? Then I stop right then and there. Is that a deal?” She carefully studied Oliver for any sign of distress, inflection in his voice, or even signs that he wanted to murder her in her sleep. She doubted that last one, but after a few recent cases where the Little turned around suddenly on their Big… she made sure she was prepared for anything. Instead, Oliver looked down at the pull-up and then back up at Addy, his eyes full of shame and humiliation like before, but now with an added layer of defeat as well. It wasn’t the best look, but it wasn’t rejection either. “Okay…” he said softly, his voice almost not even audible. But Addy heard it. One word… but a word that would likely change everything between them. For a Little, it was the acceptance of protection, something that seemed only logical in the face of a wet bed. For her though, it was a sign… the one she had been looking for. For him to accept this with no fight… no anger and not even an ounce of defiance in his actions, Addy could see through the former undercover agent. She saw the man… the adult, but now, she also saw the scared Little, desperate and needy and looking for someone to help him in this lonely large world. As this key slid into the lock of her mind previously holding her back, she quickly remembered back to the book… and to one treatment she saw in particular. It was madness… something she swore never to do to a Little under her care… but it was so perfect… so simple and easy. Basic Littlecare in the ‘real world’ really but crossing a line as a nurse she knew she would never be able to come back from. She knew she had to go slow and get Oliver’s and Dr. Halgen’s approval first… but it was a possibility that didn’t want to leave her mind. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to look at herself with pride in the mirror anymore, but… Oliver was dying, and if it worked, it could potentially save his life. And for that, Addy knew she was going to have to risk it.

Thanks for understanding. I wish somedays that I was fully remote again, but oh well. A job is a job these days... But for Dr. Tracey? Yeah... she can be fed to the wolves at this point. Just you wait and see...

Hey everyone! So… good news, bad news this week. Good news is that I can keep a roof over my head and that I might be less stressed some days with a new job I got offered. Bad news though, it’s longer hours and a more consistent commute than I had before that will eat more into my time. What this means here is that I won’t have as much time as I used to write these stories going forward. I still think I can squeeze out at least two chapters a week, but three chapters might be pushing it in the grand scheme of things. Whatever happens, though, I’ll let you all know. Looking ahead though, I will be posting another chapter this week and two more next week at some point. I have two trips before I start my new position as a bit of a last hurrah, but no matter what, the first section of this story will be completed by next week. After, I will likely be taking at least a week off until I start the next section. Hopefully in that time everyone who wants to can catch up and get ready for the next wave of plot. As you might start to see in these next four chapters… things are going to start heating up a bit. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 9: A Change at Night Addy sat on the back patio and watched as the Littles sang and danced to the music out on the back lawn as the Springtime night air began to swirl around them. Flowers were beginning to bud, and she sipped her triple berry smoothie as she smiled at her Littles. Franklin was as happy as ever, and Mindy… they had stopped their treatment of her, but between the now absence of the lack of energy expelled from her treatments and the meds she had been pumped full of, the Little now danced with the best and most energetic of the other Littles. Addy smiled fondly at the scene unfolding before her. This time was always special for her. Littles were just letting down their guards and yet they still had enough physicality and mental awareness to be their old happy selves once more. Though the music was the latest hit on the Little’s Hot 100, and the more regressed Littles danced in between them, they all danced as one. Some wore diapers… others pull-up, or even training pants, but right then, they all seemed equal. Just as happy… just as free. In truth though, Addy had a secret. She was still looking for a cure for Mindy. Despite Dr. Halgen’s cautionary warning, she had refused to give up. She just couldn’t let poor sweet innocent and bubbly Mindy die without a fight. It would all be worth it in the end… if only she could find what she was looking for. “Up! And down! And… spin yourself around!” the music played in its bouncing and cute melody, of course which every little followed the commands effortlessly, giggling all the way. Addy nearly wanted to dance herself… but she kept her distance. A new nurse was coming to observe today, some girl named Penny, and Addy thought she was a little too high-strung for this place… but they needed all the help they could get. Then, just as the song told them to touch their toes, Mindy fell. It wasn’t hard, but when she tried to get up, she fell back down. Another Little had caught her that time, and panicking, she looked over at Addy. “Nurse Addy! Nurse Addy! Help!” Seeing it all unfold, Addy was already standing and nearly jumped off the back deck to go help her Little, now seemingly almost out of energy and even dizzy and a little delirious. “Oh, Mindy…” “That was fun,” she said weakly but dreamily with a smile still over her face. Addy sighed. “Come on, girl. We need to get you back inside…” She bent down, and with one lift under her, Addy was able to carry her back inside the house. * * * Addy woke with a start. Still in her rocking chair and still in Oliver’s room… she hadn’t left his side at night in four days now. In the ten days since his confession to her, she had parted with him for a few nights, but those in between times of her absence were shrinking. If Oliver minded though, he never said a word either way, but Addy was beyond that now. With memories of Mindy still flashing in her mind and Oliver continually reminding her of her former Little, she knew that her time with the sicker Littles was limited. She didn’t know it that day from her dream of a memory, but now she knew that it was the last she saw Mindy truly happy… at least without being plugged into dozens of machines… So, Addy kept a watchful eye over Oliver and followed him around for large chunks of the day. Part of it was for her to swoop in and ‘save him’ from Xander and Damien, but part of it was also to calm his nerves when he seemed to be going through an episode. He had just started therapy with a local doctor, and she knew it was going to take time. Until then, she just remained vigilant and observant of his continual night terrors and isolated behavior around others. Curiously, she saw Oliver looking wistfully at the others as they played the various game the facility provided… and ones they made up on their own. Addy knew it was a good sign of their regression as they were just starting to use their imagination rather than a prop. Something like passing a ball, an adult can do too, but an activity like imagining the playground was a jungle… definitely in Little territory there. Still, despite his clear desire to join in, Oliver held back. So, it was no surprise that Addy was more than a little nervous to leave him and even Katrina at this crucial stage for the night. “It’s only for a night and a bit of tomorrow, Katrina,” Addy tried to promise her Little, who was currently mortified that she would even think of leaving them here all alone. “I promise… I’ll be back tomorrow night. Just in time to tuck you in…” “But what about tonight?” she asked, her eyes widening in horror at the prospect of no one to make sure she was safe at night. Addy suspected that in her early stages of regression, something from her past was bubbling to the surface. “Cassie is going to tuck you in…” She looked over at Oliver, currently back in his wheelchair after a tiring morning and who was clearly nervous as well as he pulled on his fingers aimlessly. “And tuck you in as well…” “But what about…?” Oliver looked around tensely, “…my dreams? Does she know about…?” He didn’t say it, but his implication was clear. Addy buckled the last strap on one of her overnight bags and walked to her scared Little, Katrina now holding back and twiddling her thumbs in nervousness. Addy could see that he was giving into this place and dimension at last, but Oliver was in a vulnerable stage as well. Scared and seemingly lost in this big world, he was also still too proud to accept a pacifier or even a simple stuffy to help ease his woes. Instead, he had started leaning on Addy for more support each day… something she didn’t mind in the least. At least until today when she had to leave. “Oliver…” She leaned down and gripped both his hands tightly in hers, knowing that despite his attachment to her recently, she still needed to leave tonight. “Cassie doesn’t know the details… that’s not up to me to tell her about, but I’ve given her access to the monitor I use so she can keep a close eye on you…” Dr. Halgen was more than a little wary about revealing the situation with the monitors they used, but Addy knew that full transparency in things like this for Oliver was critical. It was a bit of trust on her part, and for him, a constant watch for his security. “So, she will come and help you if you need it. She’ll also make sure to turn on your Lighthouse before bed as well.” Addy had left clear instructions to not turn up the device any higher than when she last modified it. Still nothing regression-inducing about it, but if effective, Oliver would be out cold… unless he had another night terror it seemed so far. “I… I…” Oliver hung his head low. “Okay…” his acceptance of her decisions now was also another good sign. She hadn’t taken advantage of it yet, but she knew it was another step toward his eventual acceptance of being a Little. Today, he was essentially accepting a babysitter to keep him safe at night, but tomorrow? Maybe a stuffy… maybe even diapers one day… Taking a knee, she sighed and tried to look directly into Oliver’s eyes. “Oliver… it will be okay. And if you truly can’t stand being without me, I’m just a phone call away, okay?” Addy knew she was talking to him like a regressed Little. Part of it was her initiative to give into her instincts, but part of her knew it would reject that sort of treatment due to his pride and let her go. As predicted, he coughed and gripped her hands tight before letting go. “No, no. I’ll be fine… really. You go.” Addy could have sworn his voice dropped an octave and she had to try with all her might not to giggle at the sight. Instead, she smiled and stood back up. “Very well.” She then waved at both her Littles and left without another word. Lingering would only complicate things and she also wanted to test one thing. And sure enough, getting to her car parked in the front and loading her bags into the trunk, as well as her garment bag for her dress for tonight, she looked back at the windows and saw both her Littles looking solemnly back at her. ‘It’s only for one night, but… wow.’ Despite going through this several times and sometimes even taking a day trip away from the place to see exactly this moment, she was always surprised how fast a Little could get clingy to her. She was their support and with it came a bond, and that was something to be cherished, but their sad tiny faces always broke her heart a little. Still, she waved goodbye, got in her car, and took off without looking back. An hour later, she just managed to pull up at her dad’s and offloaded her bags and larger garment bag before knocking on his front door. A second later, he smiled as he opened the door. “Peanut! You’re here!” Addy smiled and quickly hugged her dad, his strong arms still comforting after all these years. Since she had first come back to his house and they had a ‘real’ talk, their bond had only been growing closer. About once a week now, he would still slip in a mention about the board, but now, Addy let him. It was one of the reasons she knew there was trouble… especially consider Dr. Halgen. “Hey dad. Great to see you but come on…” she complained lightly as she broke the hug and he parted ways to let her inside. “Can’t you use another nickname… at least for tonight?” Her dad adjusted his top button and smiled graciously. “You know what? You came here as promised for this ball… what you want, you shall have.” He then tapped his chin a few times as Addy set her bags down by the couch. “Hmmm… how about… jellybean?” Before Addy could object, her dad shook his head. “No, no… I can already hear you. Small… the same as peanut…” He tapped on his chin more before pointing to the ceiling. “I got it! Pumpkin!” Addy rolled the name around in her head, not having heard that since she was in college. “Hmmm, I mean… I would like Addy… even Addy-bear if you had to, but pumpkin… yeah, I could see that working instead.” “Excellent!” her dad beamed before looking at her bags and garment bag. “Now then… you ready for another ball with the company and your old man?” Addy nodded. “Always… been a while, but I think I should be good. Just let me change first, okay?” Her dad nodded and pointed down the hallway. “Just down on the left. Your old room… guest room now, but I assume you still know the way…” Addy smirked and nodded before taking off with her bags. Entering inside her old room, only the walls were really left. She had left years ago, and it didn’t surprise her, but she still briefly ran her fingers nostalgically along her windowsill… recounting the uncountable number of times she sat by it and watched her mom or dad in the garden… or late at night when they would come home back from another board meeting… or even a ball themselves. As her dad said, it had been years since she last attended a ball… let alone one with her dad, but she still knew the routine. She knew the protocols… the expectations… the dos and don’ts like the back of her hand. It was all routine with them… something kept simple to mask the politics behind it all. That sort of stuff gave her nerves still, but as she disrobed and slipped into her evening gown, she could almost picture herself back in this same room… about to go to her first ball when she was 13. Back then, her dress was simple but classy. Her mom had helped her pick it out to make her first official appearance at one of the company balls. She had stressed for weeks about it, but when she got there, everything went smoothly and she was the talk of every board member as the next successor to her parents. Tonight, she wondered if they would think the same, but for the moment, she couldn’t help but let out a smile as she saw the sparkly deep blue dress now wrapped around her. Coming outside, her dad was all smiles and hugs before helping her outside and into the limo he had rented for the night. Inside, both had a glass of champagne to mark the first time in nearly five years that Addy would be returning to a ball hosted by the board. Getting to the venue, the ballroom off to the side of the Juventas facility was perched high on a hill and overlooked the local towns and neighborhood, like the castles of old used to view down on their peasant serfs. When she first started coming, Addy viewed herself as a princess going up to the castle… now, she just viewed it as entering the keep of the tyrannical lords overseeing the rest of the land, using the people below as mere puppets to their machinations. “Addy! Is that you?” a voice called out as she entered with her dad into the main room of the event tonight. Addy spun around from the large glass window overlooking the valley and spotted another board member. “Mr. Allen! I would have sworn you would have retired by now,” she noted cooly, seeing the large bony and graying-hair man now approach her with a hug… one that seemed like he was trying to stab her at one point with his rib cage. “Oh, no, no,” he said haughtily. “I’ll be here ‘til I’m dust. But John!” He smacked Addy’s dad’s back hard, sending him forward just a little. “Why didn’t you mention that Addy was coming back? We would have ramped up this whole place to a 10 at the return of the heir presumptive!” Addy’s dad didn’t seem to know what to say, and she saw it right away. “Well, Mr. Allen…” she jumped in quickly. “I wasn’t sure if I was actually coming or not tonight. You know how things can be at Psyche, right?” Addy was remembering all the little maneuvers one had to make here. Underhanded jabs at everyone. Being the head of R&D, Addy knew that Mr. Allen only ever dealt with Littles from afar. “Oh, yes…” he nearly hissed, likely picking up on her insinuation as his smile faltered for a moment. “I forgot you were still just a nurse…” His own implications were more heavy-handed and quickly became a reminder of why Addy had stopped coming to these events before… back when everyone started considering her a threat rather than just the cute arm candy daughter of a board member and co-founder. “I know just how difficult that job can be. So many Littles… not all can be saved. Tragic, really…” Addy could feel the weight of his words in her heart. He wasn’t saying It outright, but she knew he was referring to Mindy to slap her back down from her pervious comment. But then Addy saw an opportunity for revenge. “Yes… very hard to lose a Little. I’m sure R&D would know nothing about that!” She then made a show of looking behind him. “Oh! And look at that, dad! Warren’s here!” Smiling at her dismissiveness back at Mr. Allen, she nodded at him. “Sorry, Mr. Allen… If you’ll excuse us. Family is the most important thing, you know?” Mr. Allen essentially only grunted and nodded his head before trudging off. A company man and less than slick or attractive, it was quite well-known regarding his utter lack of family. Not lying though to him, Addy walked over with her dad to Warren and his wife. “Warren… Julia…” their dad said cooly, a tiny hint of tension between father and son readily apparent. Addy saw and made sure to ask about it later but then refocused solely on her brother. “Warren… you’re looking… old.” With the advances in medical science, coupled along with poor fertility rates since the Great War for some unknown reason still, siblings were often very close in age as a result of expensive fertility drugs… or years or even decades apart with more natural means. Warren sighed. “Still the instigating little sister, huh?” His face was all serious-like and hardened… but then his smile cracked. Addy’s smile did as well. Laughing a little from the both of them, they soon hugged. “It’s good to see you, Warren,” Addy said, happy to see her older brother again. “Seems like you’ve been taking well to your seat on the board and parenthood.” Warren backed off and nodded. “Oh, yes. About a miracle I could tear this one away from little Jakey tonight. Practically had to drag her away!” Julia beamed wide and quickly pulled out a photo of their new addition to their family. “Isn’t he a darling? Came from some place called Texas… wherever that is…” “Oh!” having completed several Little studies in her undergrad work and meeting a lot of Littles, Addy knew exactly where that was. “That’s what they call our Taysha over there. Funny how the names are close but yet so different, huh?” They all nodded, but the nurse for the care of Littles that she was, Addy had to press to know more about the new Little of the family. A minute later, between diapers used and daily routines and daycares, and Warren and their dad seemed clearly out of their element. “If you’ll excuse us, ladies…” Both nodded to them, and as they walked away, Addy turned back to the picture of Jakey. “So, everything going okay with him?” When she had come back to see her family for the holidays after her long trip away, she had noticed a few oddities with him. Now, alone, she knew this was her opportunity to ask. “Well…” Julia was immediately hesitant and she even looked around the room as if to see if anyone was watching her. “We got him from Carolusa… I don’t think it was the typical pre-adoption process for him though…” Addy’s gut immediately tightened. She knew that Virgan on down in their country got spotty with Little’s rights and that Carolusa was firmly in the territory where Littles were both essentially second-class citizens, but if adopted… faired even worse. “Modifications? You mean…?” Addy didn’t want to ask it so bluntly, but given Julia’s weary and saddened look, there were only so many possibilities. Julia unfortunately nodded. “I lost count of how many they did to him. I’m trying to get him better… happier even, but…” Her glance then moved over to Warren. Addy, confused, looked that way as well. Warren and their dad seemed to be in some sort of argument, and she made a mental note of it, but then turned back to Julia. “Julia… is it Warren? Is something happening with him?” For years, he had been a supporter of Little’s rights, but that had been before he accepted his position on the board after their mom had died. Now… she didn’t want to believe it, but being a board member and with some of their decisions lately… Julia seemed more than hesitant to say anything. “He’s… I don’t even know what it is. I just… every time I want to help Jakey… Warren says no or that it’s complicated and that we will help him out ‘someday…’” “Oh…” Addy was at a loss for words herself. Warren was a good person, and she had to believe in her brother a little bit… but this certainly seemed like something she would need to keep an eye on… or at least bug her dad about. Still, the two hugged for a moment and Addy then offered several tips to help with his care. She offered several creams to help with Jakey’s scars, food to help his tummy troubles, and even a specialized stuffy from Diamond Technologies that should help with his night troubles. Apparently, the poor Little was having nightmares as well. For him though, unlike Oliver, Addy could suggest stuffy’s as a coping mechanism, and what’s more… she knew that having Jakey pick it out himself could only strengthen his trust in Julia and grow their bond. ‘Maybe one day with Oliver…’ Splitting up, Addy made her rounds through many of the high-level members of Juventas. Heads of research, treatments, pills, Littlecare… even their new line of pilot programs in conjunction with other companies. All of them wanted to see her again… especially after even the new people in the program found out that she was ‘John Pepperidge’s daughter.’ Around here, that title was almost like currency itself. Until finally, one of the few people she had been dreading ambled up to her. “It’s good to see you again, Addy…” Mr. Bouras said dryly with a near twinkle in his eye, something seemingly honed over his years as Vice President of Juventas. “I remember like it was only yesterday when you were hanging off your father’s arm when he first showed you around the company. I believe you asked for a juice box at one point…” Addy blushed a little at that recollection. “Well, I was six,” she responded in defense of herself, knowing full-well that the president was trying to diminish her. “I’m sure you can recall things you liked from when you were younger.” “No… not really,” he quickly noted, his eyes glazing over with a quick bit of sadness. “Fallout from the Great War was still on-going. Shortages everywhere where I lived…” He ran his fingers through his now nearly all-white hair. “Not too many good memories from those days…” Addy checked herself on the spot. She often forgot just how old the board was at Juventas nowadays. Of the seven board members, four should have retired long ago. In fact, until the past year everyone but Warren was over 60. “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. But… it does seem like you’ve turned all that around with what you’ve been doing here with my father.” “Yes, indeed…” His eyes twinkled again, like he was trying to run yet another scheme in his head. The president. Mr. Drakos helmed the ship, but Mr. Bouras was the one who got things going and ensured everything ran smoothly on the ground. “We even have a new Little product ready to be released within the year. In fact, it’ll make FOY look like child’s play! Can you even imagine the profits on that one?” Addy’s blood froze, but she made sure to keep up her cheery and inquisitive façade. FOY was initially a genetically engineered super regression drug that affected nearly every Little who took it. Never lethal but fast-acting and almost always permanent, Bigs had been dosing their Littles with it for years to achieve the perfect regression. About eight years ago though, a cheaper and rougher form hit the streets and droves of Littles had been regressed seemingly overnight. Now, there was a horribly increasing population of Littles on the street in most cities. Most experts were baffled that they still somehow managed to live for so long… “That’s… quite a leap then. Shame the price of progress, but I guess that’s just good business sometimes,” Addy noted hastily, her face nearly stretched and taught in effort to not give her true feelings about it away. Here at the ball, such expressions could paint her as a target, and considering the board’s more conservative standpoints lately, that was a risk she couldn’t fathom. “Oh… I see you little Addy…” Mr. Bouras said pointing at and giving her a sinister glare. “Your feelings are quite well-know to me over at that Psyche facility.” He stepped closer to her and a few veins in his forehead seemed to want to explode all over her. “I know what goes on there… the rules that have been slipping… the orders that have been halved… you put on a good front, but…” “Oh, and look what the cat dragged in!” a familiar voice shouted, followed by a large arms wrapping around Addy’s chest. Looking up to her left, she saw the same wide and goofy grin framed by curly red locks that she had once known so well. “Josh! I didn’t know you’d be here!” She wrestled out of his arms and dove right back into them, giving her old friend a large hug. Mr. Bouras seemed to groan at the sight. “I forgot how close you two were…” Josh shuffled Addy off but made sure to keep one of his arms around her like they used to do back in high school. “Oh, you know how it is, right, Mr. Bouras? Two old friends and kids of board members… you get kinda close when you’re the only ones who still remember what youth feels like.” Mr. Bouras glared at Josh for a moment before grunting and storming off. Once clear, Josh gave a huge sigh of relief and released Addy while looking back at her. “Holy toledo, Ads!” he said, seemingly exasperated. “What the heck are you doing being so blatant around the VP? That guy has shirked off more investigations and grilled more people than our nation’s own intelligence agency!” “I just…” Addy could finally feel the color returning to her face. “He was talking about a new drug to replace, FOY, Josh. FOY! You remember our protests about that one, right? He said this one is even worse!” Josh sighed and nodded. “Of course, I remember about our protests back then. I just… around here, I’m Mr. McClaren now… head of marketing just like my dad was before he retired just last year. That carries certain roles and responsibilities, but yeah… I know all about it, and before you ask… yes, I hate it. Half my marketing ideas have gotten shot down before they even hit the board because all of them thought they were too provocative.” “It’s that bad?” Addy recalled the several memos and decisions from the board, but seeing this place and the board with new eyes… it left a lot to be desired in the way of Little’s rights. Plus, if even Josh’s ideas were too graphic for the board… it told her even more about this mysterious new drug. “Worse than you could imagine. For example…” His eyes then scoured the room before landing on a tall lanky woman and then waving erratically at her to come over. “Just wait ‘till you meet someone else on the board. She’s got the inside scoop far more than me at this point.” The woman walked over, her pink gown flowing all around her and Josh smiled widely as she got close. “This is Ms. Elena Olivos, Ads… she’s head of product testing,” he said with a bit of fanfare and pride. “El… this is Addy Pepperidge… only daughter of Mr. Pepperidge…” Elena gasped and the drink she had been carrying nearly slipped from her grasp. With her other hand though, she quickly shot it out to shake Addy’s hand. “An honor. Truly an honor…” Addy had seen this before… but never from a board member. Once you had made it there, the fanfare of the others usually dropped… and Addy wasn’t even a member of the board herself. “Hey…” She shook Elena’s hand back. “Great to meet you too, but… you know me already?” Elena nodded her head rapidly. “Definitely. I’ve read your papers and reports. You do know we get all your information afterwards from your Littles at Psyche, right?” Addy nodded because she did know that… it just wasn’t something anyone ever brough up regularly. “Well… I just love your reports. You actually seem to care about the Littles.” She was getting excited and her voice was starting to rise… at least until Josh cleared his throat and looked at her knowingly. “Sorry…” she apologized sheepishly while also lowering the volume of her voice. “It’s just… I don’t see that very often with most of our nurses these days. A few… like from the facility in Flosus… ouch.” Josh smiled like it was the very thing he was listening out for. “You know… that’s actually why I kind of asked you over here, El…” He leaned closely. “Addy wants to know about the new drug.” He smiled both wickedly and yet playfully. “And you just know all about that new drug, right, El?” Elena looked around the room, just as Addy had seen several other times tonight. “Shhh, Joshua! Gosh! You can be such blabbermouth sometimes, but…” She looked around once more and then lowered her voice considerably. “Yes. I do know about that drug…” Addy could see the pure amount of fear in her eyes. She had seen that same look when FOY first dropped on the market in the 60’s about twenty years ago now. It was chaos… barbaric, but worse? According to Mr. Bouras, this new drug was even more potent for Littles. “It’s far too simple to be stable enough for transport still,” she noted with no small degree of unmasked relief. “A few months away for sure, but our preliminary testing where we control all the variables… the chimps progress in the lab is… concerning…” “Concerning?” Addy inquired. “As in…?” El winced. “I… I’m sorry, Addy. I would love to tell you… I really would, but… board member’s eyes only and if they knew I was telling you, I would be… well…” John patted her on the back. “It’s okay, El. If anyone here understands, it’s Addy. Both her parents were board members… just like my dad was. Comes with a bit of a beginner’s crash course on company policy and secrecy. But you know what else? She’s probably the smartest in the room, wouldn’t you know? Stuck with nursing instead of falling down in the mud and fire of being a sacred board member.” His sarcasm came through loud and clear. “Oh…” El seemed momentarily surprised that Addy wasn’t a secret board member or something like that… but there was a sort of admiration written on her face as well. “Tell you what though… you ever find yourself out of Psyche and getting a seat on the board… come find me. Something tells me that you might be the swing vote on our side now…” It was a lot of information coming at her now and Addy nearly felt drunk with the possibility of this new drug and seeing all this chaos once more. Still, her mind stuck onto one set of words in particular. “Swing vote? What do you mean by tha…?” The tapping and screech and whine of a microphone being turned on echoed throughout the room. Several party members plugged their ears and more let out a cry of temporary pain. When the noise subsided though, the spotlights focused on a central figure up on the stage. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” Mr. Bouras announced with a wide smile; his gruffness and sickening anger from earlier now seemingly vanished once again in front of others. “I hope you all have been having a lovely evening. As we face a new year, I always appreciate this time to see all our new members in one place. It’s a time to get to know the company that each of you work for.” His eyes carefully scanned the room. “And so, as Vice President, it is my honor to present to you our head of our company… Mr. Drakos!” Everyone cheered… even Elena and Josh, so seeing it all, Addy made sure to as well… despite her personal objections to the man. Having been a kid in the Great War, he became tough… street-smart and slick in everything he did. It was no wonder that both Addy’s parents wanted him on board to be their face and leader in the early days. Still, his arrogance was once legendary, but after the Losantiville incident, he decided to take a more hands-off approach. Nowadays though, his power was even greater… just less directly connected… and therefore less culpable for half of what Juventas did these days. Still though, in public and so outward, his old self briefly shined through. His smile was a million bucks, and he knew all the gestures, had the right laugh… the total package for a leader to inspire you without even saying a word. Addy just could see under all that, noticing his age was finally catching up with him. Considering that 120 years had passed since the Great War, his face and body were both monuments to the success of Juventas’ bio and longevity divisions… but even that was wearing thin. His face, once so pristine and polished, was now a mass of faded wrinkles and had been carefully stitched together with multiple rounds of injections and surgeries. Top tier and barely noticeable, but most definitely there. No one ever seemed to care though. He was an old bird and yet still, he ruled with absolute authority over the company and even the board from his current position. “Thank you, thank you,” he said in his loud booming voice. “It’s a pleasure to see you all tonight… some of you new… some of you old like me…” He got a laugh out of that one. “And some of you… coming back after many years…” To Addy’s horror, his stare seemed to linger on her for a moment. “But as my trusty VP said… tonight is about you all. Interacting… learning your friends… your rivals… all in one place, like some kind of soup my mom used to make. Hard-earned and every bit worth it, even on the coldest or hottest of days back then.” Several people seemed to be taken in by that note. “But I also want to give a big shoutout to our various departments.” He quicky gestured and pointed out several in the room… until finally landing on Mr. Allen. “And last, but certainly not least, we have our very own, Mr. Allen, head of our R&D department. Never missing a day of work, his department has finally approved what will likely be one of our most successful launches in years. In fact… we were so confident, we’ve selected several locations that will receive this new launch tonight!” That received a thunderous applause… but Addy was more than a little concerned about it. ‘Where is it? What is it? How many Littles will be affected? And how will they be affected?’ Her mind raced as Mr. Drakos labored on. “But enough of all that,” he nearly shouted over the laughs from his latest joke. “Tonight… we take ourselves into the future. I wanted to announce our latest launch but also tease a new drug. The official name has over 34 syllables in it, but no worries… I’m sure our own Joshua McClaren will fix that right up… won’t you Josh?” The spotlight zoomed over and nearly blinded Addy, but Josh seemed more than ready for it. “Right away, Mr. Drakos. Got ten ideas already cooking in the oven for you!” Mr. Drakos let out a large laugh and many applauded. It probably felt good for Josh, but as Addy watched the crowd, she also knew that they were all referring to the drug that was even more potent than FOY. For her, it was almost like they were boasting about discovering arsenic rather than the previous heavy laxative which would only kill you if you ran out of water. “Now… I don’t want to take up anymore of your time, but…” He then reached behind him and, knowing what was about to happen, Addy snatched a drink herself on one of the roving platters. Mr. Drakos then turned back and raised his glass. “I want to thank you all as we cast our eyes to the future. To you all… to our products… to Juventas!” “To Juventas!” everyone cheered loudly before clinking their glasses with each other, not a single soul left without a smile, real or faked… like Addy’s. As he stepped off the stage, his piercing old blue eyes seemingly momentarily boring into Addy’s soul, she couldn’t help but feel like she was five years old again and he had clocked her after she had just stolen a cookie from the jar her mom kept continually stocked in their kitchen… but only for after dinner. It was probably why an unfortunately familiar hand had to tap her on the shoulder to even know that someone was trying to talk to her. Spinning around, her heart dropped. “Well, hello there, stranger,” Dr. Tracey said with a smile that would scare away dogs. “Fancy seeing you here! I thought this was just for higher-up personnel in the company, or… wait… are you here with your father?” Just seeing her here was a downer on the party as far as Addy was concerned, and definitely not a good sign of what was to come in the company, but she made sure to keep up her practiced front regardless. “That’s right. He invited me a few weeks ago not long after the first batch reached us. But here we are, less than a few days away from the next choosing day. Your first, right?” “Oh, no,” Dr. Tracey said, shaking her head. “I’ve been to several before down in Flosus… even a few before that in Louisianum when I was a summer intern there for a few years.” Addy hated how embedded she already was in the company. Her mark was like a necrotic piece of flesh wherever she touched. After looking into her history more, she always left a wake of highly regressed Littles behind her whenever she moved to the next facility. Now, she was in Crescentia. “Wow… so you’ve definitely gone up in the ranks, huh?” Dr. Tracey nodded boastfully. “That’s right! I’m even head of that little project that Mr. Drakos mentioned tonight. Picked me personally… can you believe that?” Addy’s heart dropped. It was just another shift in policy and for all she knew, it could have just been an extra trigger or drug to induce thumb sucking more quickly in regressing Littles. But seeing the wicked gleam in her eyes… the applause and the horridness she knew was hidden behind Mr. Drakos’ words, she knew it wasn’t so benign. “ “N… no,” Addy stammered, her front starting to drop completely. But as she stared at Dr. Tracey, all smiles and now boastful about something potentially so dangerous, a rage began to brew deep down within her. At first, she could ignore it, but after Dr. Tracey boasted a few more times about her new responsibilities… and even the prospect of maybe one day being head of the Psyche facility in Crescentia… Addy popped. “Look! I just…” Addy searched for the right words. “Psyche is a place of healing… not profit. If my mother was alive, she would be…” “Ma’am…?” a strange small voice called from below her. Addy wrinkled her brow in confusion before looking down, and much to her surprise, a single Little was standing right there before her. “O… oh!” Her rage began to dissipate, and she saw the Little in all his finery tonight… quickly remembering Oliver stuck back at home… without her. “I… I didn’t see you there.” He gave her a tiny smile. “C… can you help me?” he asked as innocently as ever. “I… I can’t reach!” Addy’s rage was snuffed out in a puff of nothingness now as she saw the Little was simply pointing to some of the un-spiked punch. Smiling and relieved to be looking at someone other than Dr. Tracey, she bent down and reached out her hand. “Of course, honey. Let’s go get you a drink.” Standing back up with the Little’s hand firmly in hers, she only glanced back at Dr. Tracey. “Sorry about that… long nights with Oliver and all. See you later then…” Just as Dr. Tracey seemed like she wanted to fire back, the Little yanked Addy quickly away. Getting to the table though, Addy was more than ready to help out. “So… is your mommy… or daddy here tonight?” she asked, handing the Little a glass of punch. Now, normally, she wouldn’t dare do so or even fail to ask permission, but two things were readily apparent to her. First, the Little was diapered… a sign of helplessness… but second, they were also outfitted more maturely. So, it only made sense that the Little was both here with someone but also had some independence and maturity left. The Little took the drink… but then almost looked different, like they had just shed their skin of innocence off from their burdened shoulders. “Thanks, but… tell your dad about the test tonight at Psyche…” Addy blinked once or twice at the Little. “Uh… excuse me? What did you just say?” The Little sighed. “You heard me. Just… tell your dad. His reaction will be critical, Miss Addy. And do it now… I’m sure the rest will fall into place once you do.” Just as Addy was about to question him more, a large dance number started randomly, and the floor was soon crowded with dancers and singers alike. Momentarily distracted, Addy looked back… and the Little was gone. ‘What the hell was that?’ She was thoroughly confused… but the Little was right about her dad, and she needed to know his take on all this right away. So, shaking off that singular peculiarity, Addy marched right up to her dad, now sitting on the sides and talking with a seeming admirer. “Oh, hello, pea… sorry, I mean, pumpkin! Enjoying the party?” Addy feigned a smile and nodded. “Yes, but…” She looked at her dad’s admirer. “Actually… if you could excuse us for a moment…?” The woman was courteous and after a brief goodbye from the two, Addy’s dad looked back at his daughter with growing concern. “Okay, Addy… spill it. What’s wrong?” “Wrong? Why… why would something be wrong?” she asked, looking around to see if anyone was watching, in particular if people like Dr. Tracey, Mr. Bouras, or Mr. Drakos were watching. Her dad smiled but then took both her hands calmly and got her to sit down. “I know you Addy… I saw that same look when you accidentally wrecked my Petunias that one year after summer camp. So, please… what’s up? What’s on your mind, pumpkin?” Addy smiled and, for a moment at least, appreciated her dad’s insight into her life and how she worked. It was good having family know you so well… like a comforting key they already had so she could just be herself. And in a moment like this, it was nice not to carry that extra burden. “Yeah… there’s something. I just…” She looked around and immediately became even more concerned than she already was. Just as she started to get up though, her dad pulled her back down. “No, no. Don’t attract attention like that to yourself. Just talk to me low and slow here. If we leave, our absence will be noted. This way, we could be talking about the good ol’ days and nothing more. Now… what’s up?” Addy sighed and felt another little burden off her back. Despite his age, her dad was still politically savvy within the company. There was a reason he lasted so long, even with his more liberal Little views. Letting out another breath, she then explained everything she had pieced together from both tonight and recently at Psyche. Finally, she looked back at her dad with the utmost seriousness. “Are you seriously telling me you didn’t know about any of that?” Her dad looked more worried than he had seemed in at least the past 7 years… not since the incident in Losantiville. “No, Addy… I didn’t know…” “But… but how?” Her dad was on the board and he had to know… it was company policy for a good reason after all. Heightened technology combined with rogue scientists were always a concern in a company like theirs, but this… this seemed to have crossed a line. “It’s a little complicated, but it’s possible,” he admitted with a heaviness around his words. “I need to check to be sure, but Drakos or Bouras likely activated a hidden clause within our charter. It was designed to help the company in times of distress if the board became sick from a rampant disease… like the one that killed my brother. But critically, it allows only three members to enact measures within the company… but still…” He looked away for a moment at the other board members within view before snapping back to Addy in a panic. “It should only temporary!” “Dad… this doesn’t seem temporary…” Addy noted gravely, thinking of the scale that would have been needed for whatever was going on. “No… no, it doesn’t, but…” her dad then looked around the room and sighed. “Look… here’s what we have to do now. No arguing…” Add quickly nodded her head. Her dad smiled. “Good. Now… the party is nearing the end. You go get some food, but I’m going to act tired. If anyone sees, they’ll just think me an old man and nothing more. We can then get out of here and you stay the night but then you need to leave early tomorrow morning.” “You… want me to leave?” she asked, almost not even believing she was asking that question but finding comfort in the notion that they were mending things to that point now. “I thought you wanted me to stay for the weekend? Just father-daughter time again?” Her dad sighed and patted her on the back gently. “Pumpkin… I do. I just… I know how much Psyche and your Little’s mean to you. This… this is something that could hurt them. If it does… we need to know about it as soon as possible.” He gave her a little smile. “Besides… you aren’t far. We can always do this another time… like when the weather is nice out again.” Addy smiled back and giving her dad a quick hug, the two parted and enacted his plan down to the letter. They had to say their goodbyes and there were more than a few chilly handshakes and hugs and icy stares back at the pair of them, but they still left without any stoppings by the guards around the facility… something Addy used to fear when she finally started to understand the evil behind Juventas when she was in college. After though, they returned home, went to bed, and the next morning, Addy woke up early. Her father gave her a few reassurances about the board, a few tasks when she got back to the facility, but most important of all… he wished her luck with her Littles. It was small, but as Addy drove back to the Psyche facility, her heart was warmed by the notion of her dad’s support. Still, another part of her dreaded what she would find. Unfortunately, she knew about the Losantiville incident… she knew about the one in Niveis in one of the casinos there… even the pilot program down in Atlantica. She knew the power of Juventas, but more importantly, she knew just how far the depths were when it came to Bigs and their Littles. Nearly bursting through the front door, Addy raced upstairs to Katrina’s and Oliver’s rooms, not even hearing the piqued curiosities of her fellow nurses wondering why she was back so early. Cassie and Erin seemed most concerned, knowing all about her past with her dad by now… but Addy was focused. Fortunately, Katrina was still asleep… seemingly safe and sound. When she entered Oliver’s room though, the smell was what she first noticed. Being a nurse, at one point, she thought she would have gotten used to it… even not noticing it after a few Littles. But still… the smell lingered in her nose, and she approached Oliver sleeping in his bed all snugly and safe. And wet. The stain had grown where they all do, and a month in, Addy knew she shouldn’t have been surprised on one level. Littles here always ended up in some form of protection when they left… even up to 95% in diapers across the board over the years now. It wasn’t a physical thing as to why but more of a mental one to enforce dependency. Diapers meant shame for adult and unregressed Littles… they meant a surrender of control… they meant the Little would rely on someone to at least supply or likely help them out. It was the opening most Littles would form in their outer armor to let Bigs in and truly begin their journey to become a regressed Little. It was all psychological and part of the process. The problem with Oliver was that it was all too soon. Yes, he was subjected to the small drugs and subtle hypnosis, but they weren’t enough to cause this. Juventas shareholders voted yes, but supporters of Psyche on the board voted no. It was a close tie, but her dad had been the swing vote on that one. So, at least before last night, this shouldn’t have happened. And because he wasn’t even getting treated for a disease in the full amount the others were, the other small drugs that worked very slowly, weren’t even in his system. This shouldn’t have happened… but it did. As Addy crept closer, knowing what the next moments would bring for Oliver… for her… for them, she recalled the ‘new launch’ or ‘new product.’ It was the only explanation… the only one for the smell… the damp… the tears and anger she knew would be coming from Oliver… the patience and reassurance she would have to give him immediately after. Oliver then rustled in his bed. He turned once, and just a crack, but his eyes opened. Now, normally for most mornings, Addy would wake him up… but she would have alerted him first… maybe shaken his shoulder. This time, she was just here… staring at him. Curious, he slowly sat up. “Addy? What… what time is it?” He looked over at his clock and saw how early it was. “Wait… hold it. Why are you back? A… are you okay?” His concern for her was truly touching, but Addy could barely sputter out more than a few coherent words at a time. This moment should have been a momentous step in being a Little. Instead, it was twinged with corruption and rampant Little testing… and on her Little no less. She wanted to be furious, but she could already see the twitch in Oliver’s eyes… the fear… the mounting panic. “Oliver…” If she could have stopped him from checking further, she would have. If she could have spared him this today, she would have. He wasn’t ready… his file stated that plainly on the front page even. Addy knew from all the Littles before, a Little that wasn’t ready would either respond with anger or despair. Watching Oliver rip off the sheets, his face was contorted in horror. His breathing increased as he patted the area on the sheet and between his legs. Addy even saw him pinch his skin, like this was some terrible nightmare he needed to wake up from. But it wasn’t. Instead, his face of woe and more sorrow than she thought he was even capable of showing, Oliver turned to her… his lip already quivering. ‘Shit… despair. Definitely despair.’ For a Little like Oliver, anger would have been better. More broken dishes or bruises or torn bed sheets, yes, but he could use that energy to fight back. Now, despair meant giving up… giving in. And for a Little with still no cure waiting and a ravenous deadly disease in them still growing… it was devastating. So, leaning in her instincts more than her training telling her to go about this slowly and cautiously and to allow him to come to her, Addy sat on his bed and quickly pulled him into a hug. She could have asked, but right now, she felt action was needed more than a few simple words. But, not a second later, Oliver broke down and began to cry rivers of tears into her offered arms. It should have been a shining moment between them… a bond of trust and reassurance that a Little found in her. But it wasn’t. It was the new project or whatever… it had to be. It had tainted this moment, and Addy hated them all because of that… Drakos, Bouras, Tracey… There was a bad moon rising and Addy could feel it… smell it even in Oliver’s room. It wasn’t good, but Addy knew she had to win. She wasn’t sure how yet, but she knew that Oliver had to be the first step in all this. He was hers and she knew without almost any doubt that they had done something to him. And in a world of Bigs and Littles, and even if he wasn’t hers officially, any common fool on the street could tell you that was a dangerous bond to ever mess with.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to put it out there as a reminder that this story is focusing more on Addy’s POV. I love diaper dimension stories, and I feel there’s a lot out there, but I also feel that sometimes I’m reading the same story over and over again. Good and entertaining absolutely, but with this one, I wanted to see the other side of the tracks as it was with a Big and their role in all this. There’s always been a dichotomy between loving Bigs and those that just want to obliviate their Littles into total regression. Yes, it could be a Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll situation, but I feel there are some characters out there that don’t fall into those categories. Addy, despite some of her Big leanings, I feel she is one of those ‘good’ Bigs and deserves to be explored more. So, as such and slight spoiler here, but I’ve divided this story into three sections to discuss the three stages that Addy needs to go through to evolve in her life. This first one is mainly about her and her position as a nurse with the Littles under her care juxtaposed against her turbulent and traumatic past. As such, there’s going to be more emotions… aka, a slower pace and just more feelings in general. The next two though… will basically fulfill some of the promises of what I’ve been setting up. For example, the Juventas board is still out there and still lying low in the background of everything. As such, for now, just trust that things are going to pick up and get spicier and more… explosive. It will just take time. As far as the future is concerned, I don’t even know if any of you read these things, but I’m considering the next poll to be stories to maybe be set in Fallout… or the Orange Mist setting… or maybe even something back in the more magical or mystical settings. Of course, I have tons of other diaper dimension stories… but I’m not sure if I’m willing to jump into some of my ‘mandatory stories before I leave this platform’ just yet. Regardless, last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 8: The Gravity of It All The video started to load. Not like the current and sleek designs and buffering capabilities of the modern recorded videos, but something older… more fragile and with a lot more static. Addy marveled at the leaps of technology that their society had made, even hearing rumors about an up-and-coming format that would put you right in the video itself. This video however, seemed to be a combination of some of their own technology from about 20 or 30 years ago… and some from over 100 years ago. “Okay… while the video is buffering,” Dr. Halgen said with heavy words, “let’s go over two things here. First, this isn’t going to show you everything. Not all the footage was sent over to us… just the main stuff that they deemed we would need. Second…” She then reached down and pulled out a solid-looking tablet. “They require you to sign this before you see it…” Addy reached forward and took the tablet before looking at what was written. At first glance, it looked like any other NDA document… sign and she couldn’t reveal publicly about the video… unless to people who had already seen it and signed NDA’s themselves or were in it… like Oliver. But as she scanned it closer, a few sections started to stand out for her. She would of course sign it, but phrases like ‘on penalty of death’ or ‘potentially armed conflict if revealed publicly’ stood out and made her stomach a smidge queasy. “Not very standard, but…” She sighed and signed it, nonetheless. ‘For Oliver…’ Taking the tablet back, Dr. Halgen nodded. “Earth gov stuff, honestly. I’ve seen this a few times by now. You know, they can be so touchy about some things from their past. Frankly, I think they could all do with a nap, but…” She shrugged her shoulders after putting the tablet away. “What are you going to do?” The video then dinged. “Perfect.” Dr. Halgen clicked a few more times on her monitor until a large play button appeared. “Alright… you ready, Addy?” Addy wasn’t sure what she was expecting with a video like this. Whatever it was, at minimum, she knew that it was enough for her to sign a hefty NDA, for Oliver’s file to be heavily redacted now, and for Oliver himself to be having night terrors. She grimaced for a moment but then nodded, knowing she needed to set her own feelings aside and finally know the truth. “I’m ready… let’ do this.” Silently, Dr. Halgen nodded and hit the play button. After a moment, the video began to sync. * * * A man appeared in a charcoal gray suit and plain tie. After adjusting his tie once, he smiled yet his face still emitted seriousness about it as well. “Good evening. My name is Agent Hobbs and I’m with the newly revamped Drug Enforcement Agency. As you may or may not know, the DEA has been conducting several raids and undercover operations to eliminate the last of the drug lords held over from Earth’s dark times. With portal technology flowing through now, our government wishes to boost the happiness and well-being of its citizens. One way… was to end the cartel.” The man smiled again and walked to his left before pointing at a map of the United States but divided into several zones not adhering to any state or country borders. “As you can see here, before this operation, the cartel’s empire had expanded into parts of the south and southwestern states. What you are about to see, using one of those imported technologies from the Amazons, has been cobbled together from multiple pieces of footage and then stitched together into one video for your ease.” A small message of ‘Warning!’ then flashed on the screen. “This video takes place right as our undercover agent was captured. As a warning… parts of this become very violent, but we are pleased to report that the mission was ultimately successful, and the agent is still alive.” Agent Hobbs looked more than a little uncomfortable, like he was leaving something out, but his spokesman ability shone through and he pushed ahead. “Before we get started, I have been asked to note for posterity and any potential future viewings that the Cartel was targeted specifically as they were importing illegal drugs from the other dimension to sell on the black market as well as their usual products.” Agent Hobbs paused for a moment. “As you can imagine, this is a potential problem point in the treaty both dimensions signed in when the portals first opened. As such, some leniencies were allowed longer than we would normally like with the safety of the agent in order to obtain a successful outcome…” He nodded once and the video switched again. * Oliver appeared, panicking heavily as he breathed deeply in and out. He sported a rough beard, was skinny, and his skin was sunburnt and dirty in several areas. He looked rough but youthful and healthy still… a man with a stressful life but with still more of it to live. “I don’t know how much time I have. One of my trigger alarms went off that someone’s been digging into my forged background… and I saw the signs this morning. I know they’re coming for me.” Oliver tried to search for something but kept recording his message. “Had to be a rat in the organization that sold me out, but… I’m sending this message out to my handler and any help in the area. They’re coming for me and so to any friendlies, use the tracker embedded in my tooth and…” His door burst open and several men with large gun entered the room and forced him to the ground. Speaking Spanish, they hauled him away unceremoniously… but not before Oliver saw the ‘sent’ message appear on his laptop before it fried itself out completely. The footage switched several times, appearing as little clips interspersed with Oliver, gagging and bound before being thrown into the back of a truck and then hauled away to some abandoned buildings. Once there, it only got worse as he was dragged out and savagely beaten. Oliver seemed used to it… or at least seemed to be able to take a punch or a kick all over his body. He winced but held firm. It was a picture of inner and outer strength… definitely not the same Little he was today. “Who do you work for, filth!” Another solid blow to his face, sending spit and blood splattering across the floor and some on a nearby wall. “Answer me, scum, or I swear this will be your last day alive!” Oliver was in pain, his face showing that much… but he also didn’t break. And so, the beating continued until Oliver’s face and likely ribs were now bleeding and bruised. Unsatisfied with his lack of cooperation, he was then hauled away and smacked around before several tires were stacked around him outside. Though rubber and clearly old and used, they formed a solid ring around his body, fully preventing him from moving more than an inch to the left or right at a time. A tall, bearded man then entered the scene. Unlike the others, he looked cleaner with the edges of his beard ending cleanly and precisely along his cheekbones and jawline. Wielding a large shiny handgun, he waved it around and then pressed it to Oliver’s forehead before dismissively brushing it off. “So… we’ve got a hero here, huh?” the man asked mockingly to his crew, eliciting a chilling chuckle from each of them. “What are you…? FBI? ATF?” The man’s eyes narrowed. “DEA?” Oliver didn’t say anything… didn’t even flinch at the right answer. Instead, he just stood there and either looked away or right at the man when he stood close enough… despite one of Oliver’s eyes now being heavily swollen and nearly shut. With no answer, the man snarled and struck Oliver on the side of his face with his gun, sending more blood flying yet the barrels kept him standing up still. Wiping the blood off his gun dismissively on Oliver’s now stained shirt, the man snapped his fingers abruptly and two of his crew left. Looking back at Oliver, the man’s eyes narrowed sinisterly. “I took you in, cabrón. I made you part of my crew… let you in on our deals… even let you near my sister…” At that, Oliver smiled. “Yeah… thanks for that… wouldn’t have gotten so close to you if you weren’t so stupid…” The crew, nearly buzzing about like little worker bees, froze in horror. It was clear that both the man wasn’t used to being insulted and that if anyone ever did… the consequences would be severe. For Oliver though, it was now evident that he knew the game… he knew his chances to make it out of here alive were slim. So, for a guy like him right then, he was clearly going out on his own terms. The man blinked a few times, his confidence seemingly now shaken. “What did you call me?” “Stupid, Fernando,” Oliver confirmed without hesitation after spitting out a splatter of blood and saliva on the dusty ground. “I called you stupid… or did you not even understand that, you worthless slime?” Fernando’s eyes twitched under the hot sun. His mouth seemed to try and be forming into a sneer… only to fail spectacularly. When his two crew came back out and lugged what looked like a woman out with them though… his haughty grin soon returned. Once the crew had her tied to a nearby post, Fernando strutted over and removed the mask covering her face. “Familiar to you, no?” Oliver’s eyes opened in horror as he saw who the woman was before him… even with one of his eyes threatening to close completely from the swelling. “Carmen!” He turned back to Fernando. “Let her go! She’s your sister Fernando. Please! She didn’t have anything to do with this!” Fernando growled and nearly ran back over to Oliver, pulling out a dirty note from his pocket before opening it. “She has everything to do with this! Look!” Oliver did and as soon as he saw the note that he had given to her to warn his handler about a potential rat and the possibility of him being captured, he knew her fate was sealed. Still, Oliver looked determined to do anything to save her. “I used her, Fernando. It was nothing more,” Oliver lied. His acting skills under pressure were good, but Fernando was too shrewd to fall for it. “I might believe you, pendejo, but…” Fernando raced over to Carmen, unsheathing a large knife from his side and pressing it to her throat. “No, wait!” Oliver’s protective instincts betrayed him and he knew it immediately… especially when Fernando grinned wickedly back at him and lowered his knife from her throat. “That’s what I thought,” he said cooly. “I took you in and made you part of my crew. I even saw you taking a shine to my sister, but I saw you and ignored my gut about you. I thought… no! This man is honorable. He’s smart and capable. He’ll make a good match for my sister, but then… then you had to go and betray me.” His words dripped with venom. “You went and sold my secrets and now… the government is shutting us down across the states! 15 warehouses and safehouse all raided at once!” The part of Oliver not terrified about Carmen or worried about his own life, soared upon hearing that. For months now, he had infiltrated the cartel and had risked life and limb to find out the inner workings. His information had proved vital in small pockets, but two nights ago, he found the key to the whole operation and sent it in. Hearing about their success gave him a warm little successful feeling deep inside his chest. “But you betrayed me! I know it was you… and my sister!” Fernando’s rage seemed to know no bounds. Turning back to his crew, he pointed at two large red jugs off to the side. “¡Hombres! ¡Agarren la gasolina y échensela encima! ¡Que le caiga por todas partes a esta puta!” “No!” Oliver had heard those words and knew what they were doing. Gagged as she was, Oliver could only look at Carmen in horror as the others in the crew began pouring copious amount of gas on her. Looking back at Fernando, Oliver swore revenge. “Stop, Fernando! She’s your sister. Have mercy on her! Please!” Fernando’s eyes twinkled as his men backed up. He then pulled a cigar from his pocket… something cheap and disposable and lit it before inhaling a deep puff and blowing the smoke over Oliver. “This is my mercy…” Without even a scrap of remorse, he threw the lit cigar over at Carmen’s damp feet. In an instant, she was consumed in flames. Her gagged screams echoed off the hills and valleys. “No! No!” Oliver tried to struggle free, but the tires held him fast. “I’ll kill you, Fernando,” he spat at him, his eyes mad with rage. “I swear it! You’ll have your day! You’re a dead man!” Fernando growled and struck Oliver hard, knocking him to the ground, his face unable to turn away from the writhing and then smoking husk of his former informant… his lover. Strutting over, Fernando eyed the remaining gas cannisters. He looked at the charred husk of the body that used to be his sister, gave it a sneer and looked back at his crew. “¡Hombres! ¡Levántenlo y échenle el resto de la gasolina encima!” In a second, Oliver was picked back up. He tried to fight against the others, but the tires wouldn’t budge. Moments later, the crew repeated their practice and began to dump the remaining gas over Oliver. Done, the crew backed away and Fernando lit another cheap cigar. “Shame really,” he said wistfully as he viewed the glowing wrapper of the cigar in his hands. “Cheap but it does the trick out here. Still…” he eyes Oliver with hate in his eyes. “Say hello to my sister in hell…” Just as Fernando reached out with his lit cigar though, the sound of helicopters soon blacked out most of the other noise nearby. Hearing them so close, panic quickly ensued and many of the crew either began running for their guns or pointing up in the sky. “¡Policía! ¡Agentes! ¡Corran! ¡Corran ahora y sálvense o luchen hasta la muerte!” Before Fernando could even react further, the gates of the complex exploded. Gas was launched and several flash-bangs were thrown in as well. They went off, blinding and deafening everyone inside. In less than three minutes, the complex was surrounded and infiltrated completely. Oliver was freed and helped up as Fernando was dragged away… but the undercover agent seemed broken… his revenge already complete and his life saved… but not the woman he had fallen for. Dropping to his knees in complete despair, several other agents could only silently give their condolences. * * * The video abruptly ended. “Hey!” Addy shouted, almost getting up from her seat. “Where’s the rest of the footage? What happened after? Did Oliver get his revenge? And what happened to Fernando?” Dr. Halgen sighed. “Yeah… I thought you would ask as such.” She then pulled out Oliver’s unredacted file and leafed through it. “I’ll let you look at this tonight after, but according to this, the video is only a portion of what was showed into evidence afterward. Apparently, Fernando is still trying to appeal the death penalty against him… some rumors are even floating that he’ll be coming over here one day to one of our special programs. Wouldn’t that be a sight?” Addy sat back in her chair with a huff. She stayed silent for a moment, before shaking her head. “Holy smokes, Kelsey… I knew it had to be something bad, but…” “Yes,” Dr. Halgen agreed. “What’s more, according to his file, Oliver then took some forced time off and then stayed with the bureau in various roles for another six years. But…” Dr. Halgen sighed. “During a raid and then rescue operation on one of the few remaining meth dealers in the country, the lab exploded and the building caught fire. Oliver managed to escape with some minor injuries… but his partner wasn’t so lucky.” It was the final tragic piece of the puzzle that Addy had been missing. “So… a previous trauma with fire… his lover engulfed before his eyes… he suppresses those feelings and gets back to work… until his partner then dies by fire again.” Dr. Halgen nodded. “I’m afraid so.” She then returned to his file. “It looks like he underwent therapy and a desk job for a year before being put on early retirement with full disabilities when that didn’t seem to help. Then… retreating inside from the world, his file nearly stopped for two years until he was diagnosed with skin cancer. After over a year of failed treatments, he came to us.” Needless to say, Addy was overwhelmed with all this new information. It all made a sort of terrible sense as to why Oliver was the way he was. In fact, as much as she wanted to help every Little, she was now actually a bit surprised that he had even made it through the initial screening process. After all, they only had three months to get their Littles ready for their prospective Bigs, and these days, they could make a paralyzed person walk in this time… but the mind was the mind. Knowing what she did now, she knew that Oliver was going to need more than three months of counseling to deal with this. Still, she was reminded of two things in all this. First, Juventas and Psyche now seemed to be letting anyone in these days to fill their quotas or achieve some end goal she couldn’t quite see yet. It was hard not to see some problems in the system like Xander and Damien. Second though, and most important, Addy knew both what she was dealing with and had the heart and compassion to see it through. She just didn’t know if she was the best person for the job anymore… Dr. Halgen was a wise woman. Stern and maybe even a little too foreboding sometimes, but she could see and understand people a mile off. So, she saw her nurse and she instinctively knew what she was thinking. “Addy… you can’t take on this responsibility alone. You do that, and yes… you will fail. But you have others here who are more than willing and ready to help you. Let us shoulder what needs to be done with Oliver…” Addy smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot… truly. I just… his treatment is still a failure and he’s not going to be getting better mentally any time soon. There’s bound to be a lot of traumas wound up tight in there… a lot that we don’t even know about yet. I just… we’re three weeks into the first month… first third of his time here. I’m worried about him getting picked by a Big now more than ever. You know he might not make it…” Dr. Halgen sighed. “Maybe… but I want you to do something for me.” Addy nodded without thinking. “Good,” Dr. Halgen said smiling. “I want you to view him differently this time looking ahead now.” She paused for a moment and continued to explain as if to let each of her words seep into Addy’s brain. “You are a good person… a good nurse, Addy… but sometimes, that holds you back when it comes to Littlecare. I’m not saying Penny or any of the others are right around here in their barbaric methods and ideologies… but I think you ignore some of your instincts with your Littles. You block paths that others might see plainly who don’t care if their intentions are good or not… only that they treat their Little like a Little.” “Wait… you’re saying… I’m hurting my Littles because of that?” Addy asked in potential horror of such a notion. Dr. Halgen quickly shook her head. “Definitely not. I just think… well, Oliver’s a special case. We see and know that now. So, he might be the exception to your rules with Littles. You see them as adults who are just shorter and that’s fine… helpful and dignifying even, but… sometimes, they don’t know what they need.” “What they need?” Addy questioned. “You don’t think they know they’re here to help themselves out? I mean, isn’t that why they signed the contract in the first place? This program or die for some of them even?” Dr. Halgen smiled and nodded. “Of course they know that, but I’m talking about the other stuff… the deeper things they don’t talk about. How when they come here, they can let go of their burdens. Even these days, their planet and their lives are still hard. Coming here, we can offer them a rest from all those worries… even if it only is those five years they signed up for.” Addy mulled the notion over. She wasn’t an ignorant fool, and she knew the advancements the humans on Earth had made without them, but she also knew of their struggles… the war and famine and diseases that nearly wiped them out and brought them to the edge only a few decades ago now. Remembering just that, she had to admit to herself that it wasn’t a huge leap to think a Little might need more than just a fix of their cancer or MS or whatever else ailed them when they came here. “So, yes… they know they’re here to be helped,” Dr. Halgen continued, “but they might not know everything they need. They might need a push… someone else to do it for them.” She sighed heavily. “So maybe… just this once, set aside your thoughts of Oliver the adult. Think of him as Oliver the Little in need of your help. Do that… and you might just find a way to help him… maybe for even more than just what you might think…” Addy wanted to press ahead more and even swore to at least try Dr. Halgen’s suggestion, but the time was ticking on, and tomorrow was going to be a long and interesting day between her and Oliver. She wasn’t sure how she would react to him after what she had just learned… but her mind just couldn’t shake what Dr. Halgen had told her to do. ‘If it was Penny or Dr. Tracey or even my own dad at this point, I might think nothing of the suggestion to think of Oliver as a true Little… and not just a general classification of a Little like I’ve been doing, but… Dr. Halgen?’ It was hard to come to terms with, the doctor who had been championing Little’s right for over a decade now from behind the scenes was almost telling her point-blank to regress him. Yet somehow, it not only felt right of her to suggest… it also felt good to hear it. Worried about Oliver having yet another night terror, she entered back into his room for the night. Seeing him asleep like that, it was hard not to see the truth in what Dr. Halgen had told her. Before, he was a scared adult in a large world beyond his measure. Adults got scared and it didn’t make him a Little. But seeing him lying still… asleep and peaceful for once, she saw the vulnerability in him. She saw the tiny cracks beginning to form as he let go of the stresses of his old life. It was a long and hard process… but seeing him as a Little was something that was starting to tickle her brain. Moving a strand of hair out of his face, he stirred briefly and Addy recoiled, careful not to wake him. Sighing, as she settled back into her rocking chair, she felt the guilt of no longer thinking of Oliver as the adult that just needed a vacation from the more mature responsibilities of life. She didn’t like it, but she couldn’t deny a part of herself anymore… one that wanted to do nothing more than to hug him and say that everything was going to be okay for him. She wanted to do that, but as she rocked and felt her eyes closing, she knew he had to come to her first. So, she knew she was going to have to wait… observe him closely but wait for the moment he came to her and finally let his guard down. She would nudge him and see what stuck and what gave… but he would need to make the first move. * * * The next few days, true to her word, Addy began to view Oliver in a different light. He was still the adult in a large and dangerous world, so it would only be natural for him to be a little hesitant… but she started to notice tiny things begin to slip in. If she wasn’t looking, she might not have seen them, but they were there. He was meeker, more emotional, and even seemed to start to look at her in times of distress. And as the days moved on, that seemed to be happening more and more now. Addy wanted to break and reveal everything to him she knew about, but she saw the change and kept on only biding her time until he came to her. Until then, she made sure to come to him right after whatever incident happened, talk to him, treat him with respect, but also offer a heavier hand when it came to her tenderness with him. The occasional brush of his hair… taking his hand… calming him down as best she could. Tiny things… but things he never rejected nowadays. The next day, Addy made more plans to check his progress. Despite no night terrors, she vowed to stay in his room tonight. He never fussed or gave her dirty looks anymore… something he always did when she first started staying with him. It was a note she held dearly… but it wasn’t enough. So, when the group decided to go to the park again, Addy went right along with them to observe him more closely. Of course, Katrina and Cara never minded. The two were nearly inseparable whenever they were in the same room together and despite one being diapered and requiring naps, they seemed like the best of friends. Keeping an eye on each other, Addy never had to worry about them. She only wished they were as close with Oliver… Getting to the park, Addy began to notice once more things she had never seen before. Oliver would be all happy and cracking jokes and even skipping on occasion… but then he would stop dead before either the tire swing or the tire obstacle course embedded off to the side of the playground. Now, she knew why he was so distant from playgrounds. Being bound in tires and nearly set on fire right after he watched both his informant and lover be set on fire would probably make anyone wary of them. But the others didn’t know that. When the little shits Xander or Damien saw his hesitation… his unwillingness to literally play ball with them, they smelled blood in the water, and losing their power and independence bit by bit, they tried to reassert wherever and with whomever they could. So, as nearly always happened now, Xander and Damien tagged up and began to pick on Oliver. Addy tried to hold back… or even hope one of the other nurses would intervene… but they were off helping two other Littles, Christy and Lana, after they had accidentally bumped into each other and fallen off some of the playground equipment before crying loudly about their scraped knees and ‘owies.’ Marching over herself, Addy heard the shouts… the insults lobbed between the trio as a crowd formed around them. But then, Xander said something. She couldn’t tell what, but a moment later, Oliver put all his might into a right hook directly into the bully’s jaw. Seconds later, the three were on the ground and hitting each other senselessly. Alone and weak, Oliver didn’t stand a chance. Addy ran as if she was trying to flee a fire. “Stop it! Stop it!” she shouted, ripping the three away from each other as the crowd of Littles that had gathered fled for their lives. “Break it up now!” She pulled Oliver instinctively behind her and gathered him close. Unlike other times this had happened though, he didn’t shy away from her. In fact, he clung tight to her like a shield against a shower of oncoming arrows. “He started it!” Damien charged, wiping some blood off his nose. “Yeah!” Xander agreed, flexing out his arm and cracking his bruised knuckles. “He socked me right in the jaw!” He rubbed right where a large red spot was now forming… likely to soon be a bruise. “Spank him or something, will you?” Addy had never struck a Little before, but between their bullying and total disregard for others, she counted the days until her patience ran out. Today though, she didn’t do any of that and her nurse’s training kicked in. “That is up to me, but I saw you two… you ganged up on him and were throwing some heated words at him first. I don’t know what, but I don’t care. Right now, you two are on thin ice around here. I can’t do anything to you today, but know this… I will be talking to Dr. Halgen tonight. This will be going on your permanent records here. Just hope that is all that happens.” Without a second thought, seeing the previously boastful and even confident Littles turn into quaking forms before her, satisfied, Addy turned to Oliver and took his hand. “Come on, Oliver. Let me take a look at you…” Not wasting a second, she pulled the beaten Little away, trying to stamp down any vengeance she had against the other two. Curiously though, Oliver didn’t pull away in the slightest when she grabbed his hand… not even when she pulled him away. In fact, if anything, she could have sworn he locked his hand even tighter around hers… like he was afraid she would float away if he didn’t. But pulling away from the others and any previously formed crowd dissipating rapidly, Addy finally stopped and sat Oliver down on a bench beside her before looking at him all over. “Oh honey…” She could feel her Big instincts wanting to surge forward. She wanted to dote on him and heal his boo-boos and kiss him and hug him to bits, as if her love for her vulnerable Little was the only medicine he would ever need. ‘If only…’ But Addy was a nurse, and being the prepared kind she was, reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a single tube of WoundBond gel and began rubbing it over the most visible areas of damage on her Little. He winced a few times as she applied the blue-colored gel. “Sorry… sorry…” she apologized. “I know it can sting at first but trust me… this stuff goes on quick and heals you on a slow day about twice the speed you normally would. Shouldn’t even see a bruise tomorrow…” “Thank you…” Oliver said weakly, his spirits seeming completely ruined and permanently down, never to rise again. After Addy finished though, he took a second to tenderly touch his face, and after a tiny smile of relief turned to face her. “Addy? Why…?” He turned away, looking shy all of a sudden. “Never mind…” Curious and nearly holding her breath, Addy patted his leg. “It’s okay, remember? No judgment here. If you have a question, just ask it…” Oliver slowly nodded his head. “Yeah… right. Sorry, I keep forgetting. It’s just… I just…” He looked directly back at her now. “Wh… why have you taken such an interest in me lately? Katrina’s your Little too, and… you don’t spend nearly as much time with her that you do with me.” Addy’s breath almost completely left her body. Her recent snooping and protective mother hen-like nature hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she hoped. Only the fact that Oliver hadn’t run off yet kept her grounded. “Oh… right…” Addy thought about lying, keeping her charade up longer, but she knew she had to tell him the truth… at least a little of it. “Well… I take notice of those who need my help most. Katrina… she’s doing great in this program. Almost completely healed now in fact. Plus… she isn’t getting picked on…” Oliver looked away in shame and Addy wondered if she had pushed too far. He stared off into the distance for a little bit but then let out a large breath of air. “I… my feelings have been so crazy lately. It’s like I’m a shaken bottle of champagne and someone’s suddenly popped my cork! I… I…” He shuddered for a moment, almost seeming at war with himself. “Against Damien and Xander… I just couldn’t control myself and I hit them. But when I tried to fight back… I feel I couldn’t beat up a bunny rabbit even if I tried…” “You have cancer, Oliver…” Addy tried to offer up at least as an explanation for one of his worries. “Yeah, but… I was an agent!” he tried to defend. “I had years of training. Even when one time I had gotten shot in the arm and could barely hold anything above my stomach, I fought off three fascist thugs in a bar using nothing but a beer bottle!” Seeing his redacted file last night more in-depth, Addy knew he wasn’t lying… but it still seemed so fantastical… so different to the Little now in front of her. She knew the beard he once sported helped that tough guy image along, but she could still barely believe the undercover DEA agent she had seen and read about now was the same person as the one sitting before her today. “I know it must be frustrating for you, Oliver,” she tried to console him. “It must feel like you’ve lost so much over here. I’m trying to get you better… tougher and stronger and healthier again, but…” She almost hesitated to push further but she also knew she needed to if they were ever able to take the next steps together here. “But that’s not needed here.” Oliver’s brow creased. “What do you mean by that?” “Oliver…” She took a deep breath in. “Here, I’m your nurse… your confidant… your healer… your protector. Whatever you need, I’m there for you. When you can’t do something for whatever reason… I’m there to help you… to guide you… to be there for you.” That sort of notion seemed to weigh heavily on him. His eyes nearly were sunken in and his breathing became quicker. He nearly looked like he was about to puke… at least until he took a decent-sized breath before turning to face Addy directly. “I… you’ve been good to me, Addy. I was an undercover agent and I don’t… learned not to trust easy, but… I’m all alone out here. Not even the other Littles around here seem to understand me… or want to be my friend…” Addy’s heart swelled with anguish at that confession and for a brief moment saw the Little she had been looking for. Even if she wasn’t viewing Oliver in a different light like Dr. Halgen had suggested though, she would still want her Littles to be happy… to be with the others and never feel alone. Sensing her moment had come, she rested her hand gently on his shoulder and looked deep into his eyes. “It’s okay, Oliver. You can trust me…” Oliver looked just about to tell her his secret, but he stopped and gazed back at her intently. “I want to tell you, but… I need you to swear.” He looked around briefly, like he was looking for agents that might be listening in. Seemingly satisfied though, he leaned in and whispered. “Raise your right hand and swear to keep this secret… forever.” Addy knew what Oliver was about to confess and she knew this whole thing was serious… but a little part of her couldn’t help but see the adorability in Oliver right then. Just with how he was doing things, she could almost picture him now in the future swearing her to keep a secret that Federica had just baked fresh-baked cookies with Adventure Sam on the front of them. Still, she made sure to keep a straight face and nodded before raising her right hand as instructed. “I swear to keep your secret… forever.” She took a deep breath and added one last bit her dad always used to end his swears on. “I promise to infinity…” Like some magic key, Oliver, though pensive and looked as if he was about to pass out, seemed relieved. Like a recollection of a horror story, Addy then sat and listened to the entire story that she had just witnessed the other night. Every detail… every cruelty by the cartel… by Fernando… by his crew. It was utterly terrible and there was several moments Oliver had to pause, and Addy was sure to quickly comfort him. Nothing much… but enough to show she was there for him no matter what. “They came in and they saved me,” he continued, his little fists balling at his pants and tears running down his cheeks. “They got me out of the tires and I went to Carmen, but… but… she was gone!” “Oh, honey…” Addy felt she was going to grow a gray hair from the sheer number of things she had suppressed in trying not to force or overcrowd Oliver. Still, he was finally opening to her. It was five minutes in over three weeks… a fraction of the total time, but it was huge for both of them. “I’m so sorry you went through that…” Oliver nodded, his lower lip trembling now. “A… and then my p… partner…” It didn’t seem to be his main trauma, but he couldn’t even say his name. “He went into that meth lab… and n… never came out. After… I just can’t get their faces out of my head… I feel the heat at night in my dreams… I hear Carmen’s muffled screams... I see her pleading eyes… her blackened destroyed body after…” It was the final straw. Oliver broke down and started to cry in heaping sobs. His little body heaved and shuddered under its own weight and his tiny breaths became short and labored. Addy saw it all and she felt she could only pat and rub his back. She was playing some kind of perverse game of chicken with him, but she knew he had to come to her first. It was most important and she stomached it all. “It’s okay, Oliver. You’re okay. You’re alive. You made it here. And it’s all horrible, but it’s okay to be sad. Thank you for trusting me with all that, and it’s okay to cry if that’s what you need, honey…” She noticed she had started to slip more loving nicknames into her speech lately… something Oliver either didn’t notice or no longer cared about. Just as Oliver started making these little raspy cute noises in his deep anguish, Addy knew she needed to confess something to him as well now. “Oliver… I knew about all this before today…” It was a risk, but from what she had heard, she also knew he was still holding back a few things. Plus, she needed to be completely honest with him to gain his trust and push forward together in all this. Oliver, still crying and still heaving in and out, looked up at her with the most pitiful expression ever. “Y… you did? But… but why didn’t you t… tell me?” Addy sighed and took his hands in hers tightly. “I didn’t want to push you. I wanted you to come to me on your own terms. I couldn’t be the one to force you into talking about something like that. I mean, I have been trying to get you to open up to me, but now that you have… I just want to thank you for that. It means a lot to me… more than you know…” After, without any hugs or anything that could even be considered remotely childish or overbearing, Oliver finally started to calm down. Addy’s back rubs were a godsend and his deep cries soon turned into little sobs and hiccups. “A… Addy? What… what do we d… do now?” he took a deep breath, but the exhale was shaky and staggered. “N… now that you know the tr… truth, I… I feel like I’m a lost cause now…” Addy didn’t like anyone saying that. Even if she thought it occasionally, she never wanted to hear it out loud… especially from Oliver himself. Letting out a deep breath, she took his hands and looked deep into his eyes once more. “Now, you listen here… you are a special case, Oliver… not a lost cause, you understand me?” The Little nodded, almost looking fearful but somehow protected and reassured by her force of will at the same time. “Good.” Addy mulled it over and knew that Oliver was already feeling shaky with his various and now experimental treatments. She knew she needed to nail this down and help him… to save his life. “But I will swear right here, right now… as long as you’re willing to stay, I will fight for you… always and no matter what. Okay? I’m not going anywhere.” Oliver sat there and stared back at her. His lower lip trembled and his eyes watered up. It might have just been the subtle hypnosis and low dose drugs finally wearing him down, but he looked like a lost puppy finally coming in after the rain. To Addy, he looked like the type of person who, after years of disappointments and people who had let him down, had finally found someone willing to help him… to get him to grow stronger no matter the circumstances. Still, she expected a slight nod… maybe even a handshake from the guarded Little. Instead, he broke and thrust right into her with the largest hug he could manage. Addy could feel his slight frame pressing against her. His might was poured into this one embrace and needless to say, she was surprised, but once that wore off, she realized the gravity of this one moment. So, embracing the time fully, she wrapped her own large arms around his tiny body and hugged him tight. Closing her eyes, she leaned against him, letting her body heat radiate throughout the two of them. “You’re okay. You’re safe here. I promise… I'm not going anywhere.” Simple words, but Oliver heard them and only hugged her more deeply like he never wanted or even could let go ever again. On that park bench on that cold day, Addy recognized it as a turning point between them. Oliver would need more therapy than she could offer, and she still needed to find a cure for his deadly and slowly progressing cancer, but they were moving in the right direction. She was feeling unburdened by her previous qualms and saw Oliver as a true Little in need of her care. For Oliver, he had finally opened up to her and now seemed to not only rely on her but lean on her for support and guidance as well. As the other nurses finally began to see what was happening as they gathered everyone to head back to the facility once more, Addy couldn’t help but smile in her hug with Oliver. It was a sad but glorious moment and seeing the results of what a little younger treatment could do, she was curious about where this more hands-on and Big-like approach would lead her.

I'm not sure where 'Oliver did bad things' came from, but bad things certainly did happen to him. Stay tuned to find out what next chapter. Also, remember this story is in three parts. I'm using this first part to establish characters and conflicts, with some spice thrown in as well. And don't worry... things will definitely happen more than sitting around talking about feelings. I know 'feelings are boring.'

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay… I used to love snow and the winter, but then my neighborhood this year decided to only partially plow the streets and sidewalks. Spoiler alert: just because you were able to scale the four-foot pile of snow rather than get hit by traffic 99 times, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to on the 100th. So, long story short… I now have a bruise about the size of Montana on my hip, and needless to say, sitting for long periods of time to write and edit this story can get a touch painful. That being said, I’ve now discovered the wonders of sitting on a pillow and I was able to dive back into this story today. Looking ahead, I should be able to get another chapter out either tomorrow, or more likely, Saturday. There are still 12 chapters to this first section, but I’ll let you all know if any of it changes. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 7: These Questions Need to Be Answered Cycles… cycles of pain… cycles of night terrors… cycles of failing health… cycles. As the week wore on Addy found herself in a horrible new routine, one that she was starting to lose faith in breaking completely to get to the better side of her job. The times of seeing Littles so sick and weak and sometimes so terribly broken were always the hardest, and this time, both her Littles presented two different sides of the spectrum of what kinds of Littles came here. Katrina was your typical soon-to-be Little, in fact, she was moving right along with her treatment and might be completely healthy by the second cycle. There was still the matter of ensuring she was a true Little over here and she needed to still pick her caregiver, but she was going to be okay. Oliver though… The Little had started to become the bad penny of the Psyche facility, and worse, everyone knew it now. Between Damien’s taunts and blabbermouth, plus Oliver’s pained screams some nights when his night terrors got really bad, everyone had started to view Oliver either with scorn or sympathy. Of the two, Addy would choose sympathy, but she would always prefer her Littles to have fun… to embrace this new way of life. Oliver’s night terrors though, had other plans. Per their arrangement and not wanting Oliver to feel worse or be the subject of continual mockery, Addy took it on herself to only stay in his room in the rocking chair for a few nights at a time. The first night, Oliver would still be terrified, the second he would whimper, but then the third, he would be as right as rain. So, trying to ease the mocking that Damien and, sometimes Xander, would launch at him for already being so needy for his nurse because of his ‘scary dreams,’ she would go back to her room. Then maybe a night, maybe two, later, Oliver would have the night terrors all over again and the cycle would repeat itself. Still, despite Addy’s and Oliver’s new arrangement to stifle his night terrors, time kept pushing forward whether they liked it or not. Fortunately, Addy had found an old Juventas drug that would at least get Oliver moving during the day instead of being confined to his wheelchair. It exhausted him nearly completely, but the contract he signed loomed in all their faces and pushed beyond what Addy would want for her Little. Oliver was still sick and dying, more slowly now, but it was still wearing thin on him, and Addy could see it. Despite her petitions for delays until she could find a cure, to allow him to keep his strength to heal even a little bit with the drugs she had found, the board had turned her down flat. Addy wasn’t sure, but after a snide comment one night from Penny, she highly suspected that Dr. Tracey had something to do with it. Things were beginning to boil between her and some of the more lenient and caring nurses, but she remained. And per the board and the contract he signed, Oliver still had to go out with his prospective caregivers. “She seems perky,” Cassie mentioned as she walked up the window by Addy and looked outside to the see the woman Big who was taking Oliver out today. “You think she’s got a chance with him?” Addy sighed and she knew everyone else knew about his spotty track record so far with other prospective Bigs. Of the five she had picked out for him personally, only three were left now. “I hope…” Addy closed the curtain as the Big’s car sped off with Oliver inside… hopefully to a better outing than some of his previous. “I just… I’m getting worried about him. What if…?” Addy almost didn’t even want to say it to tempt fate. “What if no one chooses him?” “Is that even a clause we have here?” Cassie asked, tapping her chin as she tried to recall herself. “I don’t think I ever remember a Little being turned down by everyone.” Addy didn’t want to think about it, but she knew there was absolutely a clause about that. “There is…” She took a breath, recalling a story she had heard from her mom from the early days of this place. “Happened about two years after this facility opened. A lot of the Littles were still new to this dimension, and the place had one Little that just wouldn’t accept any part of being, well… a Little.” Cassie looked gravely back at her friend and colleague. “So, what happened?” Addy plucked that memory from the back of her mind; a place she didn’t like touching… where the memories of Mindy were also kept. “From the clause then, and the one still existing now, the Little goes to a general adoption service via an agent from LPS or DLS… I can never remember which…” “It’s gotta be DLS,” Cassie quickly noted. “LPS is for abuse cases, but DLS… the Department of Little Services, if I remember right, deals in adoptions.” “Right, right…” In truth, Addy never liked to dwell on either agency. LPS was always full of sad stories and broken Littles while DLS was rife with corruption in certain parts of the country… leading the Littles straight back to LPS. “Must be DLS, but… I’m actually not sure what happened to that Little, but probably nothing good. Honestly… I think that was the first time I ever saw my mom question this place…” “Yeah…” Cassie sighed heavily. “Good woman, your mom,” she said with a large smile. “Did you know she was my mentor when I first got here?” “You knew my mom?” Addy questioned her in surprise. Her mom had left a while back now and she was rarely mentioned anymore except in toasts to the founder of Psyche or in mentions of old laws and foundations. “That’s right.” Cassie fiddled with her ID badge and pulled out her nursing card, and sure enough, right on the back, was Addy’s mom’s signature. “I only got to work with her for about a year, but… she’s what kept me coming back to this place… doing good here… not just a transaction.” For Addy, those words were music to her ears. Erin was her better friend so far and a solid nurse and caring at the end, but Addy was more than a little hesitant to trust her with what was truly going on here. ‘Would she help me out if I needed her to? Would she help Dr. Halgen and Sgt. Emily and I on this end… or would she even care if Littles were regressed everywhere?’ Despite Addy’s focus more on healing Oliver lately, the problems with Juventas still swirled around her mind. With the addition of Dr. Tracey, Addy wasn’t a fool and knew that allies were soon going to be needed around here. Seeing Cassie like this, how she handled her Littles… even Xander, and seemed to respect the dignity of Littles… she might just be the best ally. “Watching them go, huh?” Penny asked, shattering Addy from her deep thoughts of who to trust. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Addy viewed Penny with malice in her heart still. Whenever Cara stopped by, and especially when Penny interacted with her, Addy just wanted to slug her fellow nurse. But for civilities and peace’s sake… she didn’t and instead put on a smile. “Always hard to see them leave, Penny. Isn’t it hard for you with any of your Littles?” Penny shook her head. “Nah. Choosing day is hard but now? Now I can sit and read a book in peace… hard to get that around here anymore…” She stared back at Addy, her voice prickling with insinuation and borderline insult. Addy frowned. “And just what’s that supposed to mean?” Penny’s eyes narrowed, seemingly wanting to pick a fight. “Oh, I think you know…” “Ladies, please…” Cassie said quickly, trying to act as a moderator between her two fellow nurses. “We’re all friends here and this job is stressful enough.” “Even more now…” Penny said coldly, her implications about Oliver even apparent to a blind man. “Almost every night, Addy… when are you going to just give in and do what needs to be done?” Addy’s fists clenched at the insinuation, but her heart cracked just a little as she knew what Penny was trying to imply. “Give in? Needs to be done?” Addy blinked back at her fellow nurse. “You mean as in…?” “As in regression,” Penny said without any hesitation. “Have a problem Little? Just pop a few heavy hypnotic tracks into their nighttime routine early on, and presto! No more crying except for a diaper change or a late-night bottle. I choose my Bigs carefully and each would kill for a Little as cute as the one’s I’ve got. I do it all the time and no one seems to mind. In fact, Dr. Tracey even commended me the other day for the progress I’ve made around here in the past.” It was such a quick little note in her words, but it hit Addy like a wrecking ball to her chest. “Wait… you do it all the time?” She was shaken at the notion that a nurse was going off script. Sure, on paper Littles were going to be regressed in some way by the end. It was part of the strange and sometimes cruel practice of this place and this dimension when it came to Bigs and Littles… but it all came as part of a plan. Maybe barbaric but there were procedures and ways one had to go about these things. Most things Addy did per the rules and the literal manual were reversible if a Little ever went home. Some retraining, yes, but nothing permanent. Now, though, with Penny… her Littles didn’t seem to stand a chance and would be stuck in their current states likely forever. “But that goes against our charter… our rules! Our nurse’s code even! Don’t you have any decency?” “Decency?” Penny’s haughty and almost boastful demeanor vanished in a second. “Is it decent to let them suffer and pretend they’re adults when we know they’re not? Is it decent to let them hate themselves in the process as they lose their potty training and fine motor skills? Is it decent… to let a Little suffer almost every night in pain when you know you could help them out, or are you just too stupid or stubborn to do that?” Addy had heard enough. She was patient and understanding of most beliefs… even if she didn’t agree with them. It was hard but she managed to do it. Now though, Penny was directly attacking both her and Oliver. Penny wanted Oliver to regress into oblivion, just so she could get a good night’s sleep. It was one hit too many for Addy… and she lunged at her. Fortunately for the jobs of both nurses, however, Cassie was there and had a good two inches on both. Stepping in between with her quick reflexes, she managed to just pull Addy away in the nick of time, her outstretched hands to throttle Penny just missing her throat. Conversely, when Penny saw what Addy tried to do, she clawed her way back at her… only to be stopped by Cassie. “Enough!” Cassie shouted at both nurses, her Little-approved frown deep and cut strong as she glared at the women now being broken up by her large hands. “You’re professionals! Act like it!” Addy’s wits were just sharp enough that Cassie’s tiny admonishment was enough to pop her out of her fight first… Penny took a little longer. As Addy looked back at Cassie, she could see she wanted an apology… but for Addy, it was all still too raw. Penny was a traitor, had been indirectly responsible for the harming of one of her Littles, had now confessed to the premature and likely permanent harm of her own Littles, and was now trying to convince her to do the same to Oliver. There were just some things that couldn’t be forgiven. So, instead, Addy brushed Cassie off and stormed away… without an apology. Penny called out something at her, but Addy couldn’t hear what she said… only the shout of admonition and curling bits of anger and disappointment from Cassie right after. Fortunately, with the Littles away with their prospective Bigs today, the facility was mostly quiet and empty. It always struck Addy as strange, being a place filled with so many emotions and shouts of happiness, despair, and pain and joy that it would be so silent. But today, she was just grateful that no one saw her little spat with Penny. Things were bad enough, but for the Littles to see conflict like that, it could undermine their authority or trust or one of a hundred other things. So, with relief, Addy climbed back up the stairs and to her room. As she trudged upwards though, her mind was still on fire and enraged at Penny. ‘She confessed to me today. If the board was like it was 5… 10 years ago even, I might have thought that was enough, but… I need more.’ As she hit the second floor, Addy tried to recall where she could find information. ‘I need something concrete. Something to put her away, or… maybe blackmail her.’ It was a dirty thought, and Addy hated playing this game, but she knew a war was coming within Juventas, and she knew now that it was going to start here at Psyche. Penny was a terrible person, getting worse by the day, but… she could be useful. Addy just needed to find the evidence against her. Sighing as she entered her room, Addy quickly got to work on the various activities she needed to get done as part of her job. Most of the time, Littles went down early enough that she could finish most things at night. With Oliver’s night terrors and her sleeping in his room at least half the nights now though, that time was limited. ‘It’ll be better when I start to get him to take naps…’ It was a bitter pill for most Littles to follow, but between Oliver’s night terrors interrupting his sleep and the new medication to help give him strength during the day, Addy knew it was just a matter of time. Sitting down at her desk, she began to prep for future playdates and treatment plans. Katrina was pretty easy, but she just needed coordination and notes about her enthusiastic approach. She was like a little flame, dancing happily and bright, but a small amount of reality of this harsh world for Littles could snuff her out. Addy wanted more than anything to prevent that, so she made sure to always include that with her next prospective caregivers in both her search criteria and their acknowledgement before they even met her. For Oliver, she continued to look up more cures, dusting off yet another book from the back of the stacks of the main library. She had yet to muster the courage to return to the basement stacks, but she could feel her desperation grow every time that Oliver slowed down outside or winced in pain. Finally, right before the gate opened to announce the first of the Littles were now returning, Addy also put together a list of previous Littles and their metrics to compare against Oliver and Katrina. Curiously enough, Katrina was well in advance of most others while Oliver was far behind. Right now, it was okay… but Katrina could get bullied if she was too advanced and started wetting the bed before the others or pooped her panties before the others stopped caring about that sort of thing. Things around here were scheduled and had a delicate balance and Addy could quickly find herself out of the loop of her batch and all alone as the baby of the group. And for Oliver… he could be the grumpy and dying Little and miss out on fun times with the others in his group, losing friends in the process. Already, just wanting to be left alone, he had turned to an offer to play a board game two days ago with Robin, Ella, and Jacob. It was a small gesture, and nowhere near stuffed animal parties or tag or dress-up games… but it was a sign of problems yet to come for him. Still, Addy made her way downstairs, greeting Katrina first. Bouncing all around the place, Addy could barely keep her still long enough to even hear a slice about her day… or at least hear more than an excited jumble of words… but it was encouraging to see her that way. Several Bigs couldn’t keep up with her so far, but this one… they seemed like a keeper. And as much as that warmed her heart and she sent Katrina back in to go get a snack from Federica, now looking for Oliver, Addy stayed out and watched the other cars pull up and the Bigs deposit their Littles back. Seeing some, Addy could already see the little surrenders some of the Littles were having. Still having an issue being mostly paralyzed on her left side, Robin seemed to have no problem being gently lifted out of her rear booster seat and back into her wheelchair. Not necessarily a sign of her regression… just more of a curiosity. But then the sun began to noticeably arc downward and toward the trees. Just as sun reappeared from behind the clouds, however, the car she had seen leaving earlier soon reappeared. Hoping for another successful Little outing, Addy approached with a smile. Instead, as soon as the car stopped and the Big stepped out, she could tell there was a problem. The woman, a pediatric surgeon, came stepped out of the car and looked visibly distressed. Her hair was still done up, but her face seemed etched with concern. Moments later, she bent down and opened the back car door before pulling out Oliver. Who was currently crying… Addy hurried over. She wanted to lash out, flashing back promptly to Patrick and Redge after Redge viciously spanked and diapered him on their first encounter. But there was something different with this Big. Redge had looked proud, but this woman looked concerned and more than a little confused. So, instead, Addy took a breath as she rushed to them. “Is… is everything okay?” Oliver shook his head, a few tears falling onto his green jacket. “Yeah… I just… can I go inside now? Please…” Addy wanted to push him to find out what happened, but after seeing his tear-streaked and anguished face, she nodded instead. “Go on upstairs to your room. Wash your face off and I’ll be up there soon to check on you.” After a gentle back rub from her, Oliver barely let out a single half of a smile before retreating back into the facility. Once he was out of earshot, Addy snapped back to the woman. “What happened?” She tried to keep her cool, but her white-hot rage was slipping back out. “I… I don’t know!” the woman hastily defended herself. “It was all good between us, honest! I took your suggestion and went to a local chocolate fair and then ended at the park nearby… the one on Elm Street.” Addy waited for something more, but when the woman didn’t speak back up, she pushed instead. “And?” “I… I don’t know,” the woman repeated. “One minute, we were laughing over the chocolate that got smeared over his face and the next… he was freaking out! I tried to calm him down, but he just wouldn’t stop crying. SO, I packed him up in the car and came back here! I swear… I didn’t do anything to him.” Addy blinked back at her, trying to deduce the truth. The woman’s story seemed to be missing several elements, but she also knew that with the new policies around here, there would be a spy watching them from afar. Dr. Halgen would see her tonight, and that might have been enough if this was Katrina. Addy would have grilled the woman on the spot, but between the spy footage, her genuine look of concern, and that something had happened yet again by a park and presumably a playground… Addy let it go. She sighed and tried to recenter herself. “Well, I’m not sure what happened, but… I’ll understand if you want a new Little instead of Oliver.” She didn’t like making that offer, but she knew it was just good business at this point. Some Bigs, no matter how nice or well-intentioned, didn’t want what they perceived to be a broken Little. Oliver wasn’t broken… but Addy lived in the real world and knew some wouldn’t see it that way. “No, no… just…” The woman paused as if searching for just the right words to say about Oliver and what had happened with him or what she was going to do next. “I’m concerned for him and… just tell him I’m sorry for whatever happened today.” Addy nodded and the two parted, the Big’s car quickly speeding away. ‘Hmmm… seems like a good person, and… she’s not giving up on Oliver. Even if it’s a later rejection… she could still be a possibility today and that at least won’t kill his reputation around here.’ Armed with that tiny bit of good news, Addy stepped back into the facility. Right away, several Littles came up to her and asked what was wrong with Oliver. Not sure herself, Addy played it off as just ‘big feelings.’ For the more regressed Littles, they understood right away. For the less regressed, they either didn’t care enough in the first place or at least knew not to question a nurse around here about their Little. Walking steadily upstairs, Addy knocked a few times on Oliver’s door. After a moment, she grew concerned. “Oliver? You in there?” Worried, she checked the monitor. Something was blocking the view though… Sighing, Addy quickly unlocked the door with her wristband and entered inside, being sure to tiptoe as quiet as possible. Once inside, she saw Oliver… sound asleep. Apparently, he had passed out in bed. ‘Awww…’ Addy nearly had to clamp her hands over her mouth from saying that bit out loud. ‘Poor guy… so tuckered out. But… what is going on with you buddy?’ Addy could feel her heart emerge from her chest… a beating instrument just wanting to push her to go over and hug him. She didn’t. She knew he needed his rest and didn’t want to embarrass him that quite literally he was taking a nap. Now, with a Little taking a nap at this stage, she knew it was common practice around here to slowly slip the Little’s thumb or even just whatever finger was accessible and right into their mouth. With luck, the Little would wake up and begin to question themselves. It could lead to a tantrum or breakdown… but it could also lead to a breakthrough, and the Little would begin to let go of their barriers and actually start behaving like a Little. But Addy hated that practice. It was gaslighting a Little and there was something distasteful about messing with anyone’s head. Drugs and temporary measures to help them cope with life… sometimes that just came with the territory. It was a dirty practice, and Addy was more here for the comfort than the regression… so she didn’t mess with any of his fingers. Instead, she pulled out a blanket from the hidden compartment in Oliver’s room. Having picked it out herself, it was designed to be the softest, warmest and yet most breathable blanket out on the market. 70% of Littles were reported to have slept better with it. Only downside was the designs emblazoned over it… the cartoon airplanes nearly scream that the blanket was solely for a Little. But Addy wanted to give Oliver comfort with his nap, and hopefully, he wouldn’t care about the planes. Leaving his room, Addy made her way downstairs and knocked gently on Dr. Halgen’s office. She normally would have waited until tonight, but Oliver was slipping away fast from them. She needed advice and she needed it now, and knowing Dr. Halgen, she would be more than willing to help her out. “Dr. Halgen?” “Come in, Addy,” Dr. Halgen greeted her warmly. “Everything okay with Oliver? I saw him running upstairs just a bit ago… another bad Big or rejected or…?” Addy shook her head. “Another bad incident at the park, and Dr. Halgen… Tracey… that’s why I’m here.” Addy stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “I need advice on Oliver. I kneed to know what happened… even if it’s raw and shows me only a handful of frames… I need to see the footage now… not later.” Dr. Halgen looked hesitant but ultimately nodded and then turned her monitor toward Addy. “Well, here it is. His file has a flag on it today… got pushed to the top of the pile. But let’s see it together…” The two pushing in, the view was fairly decent, showing a wide and built-up playground set… just like Addy had suspected. Curiously, Oliver did make use of one of the slides and even a swing on the left side… but not the right. Still, all good and nothing to warrant an issue. “I don’t see anything… why is this fla…?” “Hold on… look…” Dr. Halgen pointed to the screen, and sure enough, a tired Oliver nearly fell asleep on the park bench. The woman Big with him, looked at him and while the audio was atrocious, it was clear that she was trying to have one last fun outing before leaving, even going so far as to pick him up. Looking close, Oliver was tired but happy… But then, she went to the swings on the right side. Being one of the few nice days in January, the park was surprisingly crowded and there was only one piece of equipment unoccupied… the tire swing. Oliver’s foot barely touched the thing, and he went off like his foot had suddenly touched a boiling kettle. His screams messed with the audio… even with the distance away from Oliver he was standing at. The Big pulled him away and her face contorted into the same confused and concerned look Addy had seen earlier. The video then stopped. Both women sat in silence, but Addy’s mind was racing… until her voice finally let something out. “What… what was that?” Dr. Halgen tried to speak up, but Addy was too wired now to notice. “I mean… what do I do with that in a Little? A tire swing? Addy snapped back to Dr. Halgen. “Kelsey… doctor… come on… what do you think of all this? Am I crazy? Can I even help him?” Instead of confusion on Dr. Halgen’s face though, there appeared clarity. She was still clearly mulling what she had seen over, but instead of yet another random puzzle piece that Addy had received, Dr. Halgen looked like she had found the key to the entire picture. Finally, she spoke up. “Addy… we need to talk… tonight, though, okay? We need some privacy to talk about all we need to at length. Because…” She then reached down and pulled at a thick manilla folder. “Oliver’s file came today just about 30 minutes ago.” Addy view the file… the supposedly unredacted file, like it was a gift from the heavens. It nearly shined out to her, and she wanted to take it… touch it and read it. She wanted to help Oliver… but she felt she couldn’t properly until she saw what was in there. Before she could ask for even a peak though, Dr. Halgen filed it away again. “Tonight, Addy. We need to talk about this openly… and that’s just not now during the day.” Dr. Halgen then readjusted her posture. “In the meantime, wait for Oliver to get up… then maybe ask him what happened. Maybe there’s something more you can learn that way. He seems to trust you now…” Addy was warmed to hear her say that, so, an hour later, when a sleepy Oliver descended the stairs, Addy was nearly biting at the bit. To her relief about the blanket at least, she saw him directly and there was no confusion… no anger…no revulsion. If anything, he seemed a little stiff in some parts and shaky and others… but that was it. Further, he kept his mouth shut and his eyes drawn… not a single peep about the blanket or what happened. Which is why, thirty minutes later, when he left the house, Addy followed him. Her concern growing for him every day, she saw a Little in need. In need of what still eluded her, but as he stopped at the pond, Addy saw his contemplation. She saw a lonely Little standing at the edge and looking out into the abyss. She wanted nothing more than to go over and give him the biggest hug she ever could… but she knew better. Oliver simply wasn’t there… yet. Still, she wanted to talk to him… to pry into him and see if she could help right this moment instead of waiting to sneak into his file and see what the heck happened to him. So, approaching slowly, Addy made sure to clear her throat instead of placing her hand on his shoulder or suddenly talking. Oliver jumped a little and turned around. “Oh… it’s you. Sorry… I was just…” He turned back toward the pond. “Thinking, I guess…” Addy saw her Little and saw how distant he seemed. It was hard not to be reminded of Mindy. For her, her cancer ate her to the bone and she seemed so light… so weak by the end, a wisp of her former vibrant self. For Oliver though, it looked like a stiff breeze could knock him over as well. Juventas drugs were more powerful and far more effective now… but he was still turning into a shell of himself as well. After a moment of silence, he spoke up, something clearly on his mind. “Sorry about today…” Shame and embarrassment came pouring through his words. “I… I didn’t mean to freak out and cry like that…” Addy always hated this part of a Little’s journey. The hypnosis and drugs Oliver was imbibing were causing his barriers to drop making him more emotional, but he also still was holding tightly into the reigns of his leftover adult emotions from either a form of sheer machismo or just pure ego. She wasn’t sure which it was, but she could feel her fingers itching to start giving him affection. But seeing how vulnerable he was, she didn’t want to push him away now… so she didn’t. Instead, she used her words. “You remember I told you that you could tell me anything, right?” Addy held her breath until Oliver slowly nodded his head. “That applies to now as well, and…” She hesitated to push with her words, but she knew she needed to at least try with him… at least before this got even worse. Just as Oliver looked like he was about to flat-out deny it, Addy spoke back up first. “Please don’t tell me it’s just nothing. I see you… I see your night terrors. I even see your reactions to other people shouting and sudden loud noises. Something is eating at you and I see it… and I want to help.” “I remember…” was all he said. Nothing more… just silence and a look from him that appeared it could bore through the earth as he stared down at the slightly muddy ground at his feet. “Then what is it?” Addy pushed, a few of her barriers dropping now. “Please, Oliver… please tell me. I want to help you and I have an open ear, no judgement… and an open heart.” She hoped her words would be enough, but every word she spouted seemed to only shrivel up Oliver more. Like a flower enclosed at night, Oliver shrank further and further away as she spoke. She saw it, but she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted to help and the part that told her to stop wasn’t as loud as the part of her that wanted to help her Little. “Stop!” Oliver finally said, his lower lip trembling, as if he was about to start crying again. “Please… please, Addy. Please don’t make me talk about it. I… I just… I don’t want to start crying again.” Despite his wish, he already had to wipe his eyes on his jacket sleeve. “Please…” Seeing that, the part of Addy wanting to comfort him changed into one of restraint to prevent further trauma for him today. Something was going on and she would find out, but like an open wound, Addy knew to stop digging before Oliver wouldn’t speak to her at all anymore. “I… I’m sorry, Oliver. I just want to help you and… sometimes, I get carried away… Please forgive me.” She made sure to give him her most sympathetic eyes… or at least her sincerest ones. Oliver shuddered a little, his mind clearly playing whatever his night terrors were about or whatever happened with a playground again and again. Addy knew something needed to break and soon or Oliver would just be a shell and nothing more… no life or love or hope if something didn’t happen soon. She had seen it before too. Littles would become more vulnerable here but would hold back until they burst. To put it mildly, they just kind of lost it… their contracts voided and all of them now spending their lives either heavily medicated or sitting somewhere in a facility. Seeing Oliver like this, it broke her heart that she was causing his old wounds to be reopened. Fortunately, the ties between them were a little stronger than Addy’s anxiety were making them out to be. It took some time, but Oliver finally nodded to her. “It’s okay… just… I need time or… something…” As Oliver looked out at the pond, Addy nudged him over to a bench to sit down on. The ducks were quacking and little ripples appeared in the cold waters. She made sure to sit first, letting Oliver choose the distance. And when he sat right next to her and his weary body, unintentionally or not, leaned against hers, her heart felt a warm spot of healing. There was a gap between them, but with her respect of his boundaries as much as she could and her unflinching support of whatever he needed… it was at last starting to pay off. Maybe not in the way most would want between a Big and Little here… but it was something pure and unforced. As the sky overhead began to switch over to soft yellows and then deep oranges and reds and purples, Addy gathered Oliver back to the house, fed him and Katrina dinner and tucked both in soundly for the night. To her surprise, Oliver was more than a little hesitant that Addy wasn’t staying the night like she normally would have. “It’s okay… I’ll be back,” she reassured him, seeming like the only thing that got him to shut his eyes at last. Seeing that and shutting off his overhead light, the Lighthouse still illuminating the room in soft blue lighting, Addy exited the room quietly and went back downstairs. Getting to the bottom floor, Addy pushed open the door into Dr. Halgen’s office. Poking her head in, Addy saw her mentor, friend, and boss huddling in front of her monitor, her face awash with apprehension and concern. “Dr. Halgen… is this a good time? Did you still want to see me about…?” Much to her surprise though, Dr. Halgen quickly held a finger up to her lips before beckoning her inside. “Yes, Addy!” she then said loudly. “Have a seat, please. We need to discuss Oliver and Katrina. Apparently, both are going to need some serious work! Drugs! Hypnosis! Maybe even surgery!” “Wha…?” Addy made out right before Dr. Halgen’s eyes widened and she shook her head before gesturing for Addy to play along. “Oh, right…” Addy wasn’t used to the cloak and dagger side of things, but quickly catching on, Addy stumbled about her words as Dr. Halgen then removed a familiar device from her desk. As soon as it was set up and the light started blinking, Dr. Halgen let out a huge breath of air. “Whew! Glad we can talk freely now. Thick doors, thicker walls, and an anti-listening device.” Addy nodded, feeling a little relief herself… especially with the likes of Penny and Dr. Tracey wandering the halls of this place now. “Yeah, but… maybe we need to come up with some signals or code words, because… you seemed like you went a little insane there for a second.” “Oh…” Dr. Halgen blushed a little. “Sorry about that. I’m almost entirely sure we’re being monitored, but I don’t know where the microphones are. So, I needed to be sure they would pick up my voice. But now…” Her eyes turned to her monitor. “We really do need to talk about Oliver…” “You mean… his file?” Addy questioned before seeing Dr. Halgen retrieve the manilla folder once more. “Yes,” Dr. Halgen confirmed. “We’ll talk about his unredacted file, but…” She reached down and clicked a few spots on her screen… pulling up a video. “This is really what you need to see though. After hearing about Oliver’s… peculiarities and seeing that video today… this all makes a lot more sense…” “Okay!” Addy said, feeling both nervous yet more than ready enough to see whatever was on the video she was about to watch. “I’m ready. If this helps me with Oliver, then…” “Hold it…” Dr. Halgen interrupted, holding up her hand to stop Addy as well for good measure. “I need to warn you about what you’re about to see…” She took a deep breath, and sadness had already started to wrap around her face. “It’s… it’s a lot…” “Is it bad?” Addy asked, knowing the answer deep down already though. Dr. Halgen nodded. “You need to see it yourself, but I’ll say this… I would never show what you’re about to see to a Little in a million years. But… I thought I should at least warn you before we watch it…” Addy stared at the monitor in front of her. She didn’t like the notion of watching something so cruel or scary or just downright evil. She knew it had to be bad with what she had seen from Oliver, but a warning from Dr. Halgen just sent shivers of fear up and down her body. But she knew what she had to do. ‘For Oliver…’ Taking a deep breath, she slowly nodded. “Play it, please… I need to know…” Dr. Halgen nodded and Addy winced as she braced for what she was about to watch.

There's a reason my username here is 'LostBBoyBear.' No parental supervision here for this 'lost boy,' and yes, sometimes that means a sliced finger...

Hey everyone! Moving right along with this story, I hope anyone impacted by the weekend snowstorm is still okay and safe. I’m glad my power didn’t go out… but I know many who weren’t so lucky. Hopefully we don’t get whack again this weekend, but I guess we’ll see. Just in case though, if something does happen, just know that I might not post as much as I would like to either this week or next. Also, I am curious about the notion of the poll for a potential new wiki for the Diaper Dimension or not. I noticed many want me only to stick to the reference guide I have on here, but I’m curious over the reasoning behind that. No big deal either way… just curious. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 6: A Temptation in Exchange for Life “Okay,” Addy said slowly as she prepared another solution while Bruce was behind her and kept a close eye on the monitor, ready to jump in with another needle if this treatment failed as well. “I think this solution might be better. I did some research and Dr. Halgen agrees with me. So, fingers crossed, right?” “Right!” Mindy said enthusiastically. At the same time, however, Addy could see the fear behind her eyes. She couldn’t blame the Little on any account at this point. She was dying and she had come here to be cured but instead, it had been failure after terrifying and painful failure. Now, after pulling from her training and some new research, Addy had found yet another treatment to save Mindy’s life. ‘But will it work?’ Sighing and hoping beyond all, Addy flicked the switch and watched the orange liquid enter the IV catheter and then slowly filter into Mindy, the Little’s eyes flashing fear and nervousness as the strange new substance entered her body. “Bruce?” Addy asked with hope and yet with tremendous hesitation. “How are we looking?” Bruce studied the monitor. “Good… so far. You said this would take a little longer to kick in… right?” “Right,” Addy confirmed. “New formula they’ve been experimenting with in Albion across the pond. Still though… I just want to stay on top of this in case something…” “Oh!” Mindy shouted in shock, quickly wincing and then breathing rapidly all at once. Her skin went cold yet sweat started to seemingly erupt from every pore on her body. “I don’t feel so good…” “Stop the treatment! Stop the treatment!” Addy shouted at Bruce, to which he nodded and promptly stopped the flow while still looking at the monitor. She then rushed to be right by Mindy’s side, holding her hand at first and then taking her shivering body in her arms and holding her as tight as she could. “You’re okay… you’re okay…” “When will it stop?” Mindy asked, the pain and weakness in her voice coming through clear and shattering right into Addy’s heart. “Soon, baby… soon…” She clutched onto her Little even closer. Even for being a Little, she was still so light… a result of her ravenous cancer and it eating away at her from the inside. Addy was a good nurse. Addy had studied hard and she remembered the signs with despair. Mindy didn’t have long… “Addy?” Mindy finally asked after a while of trying to recover from her latest ordeal, her breathing and temperature returning to somewhat normal. “I don’t think I can do this anymore… I can feel it all…” She was practically whispering now, something that just furthered the effect that she was like a flimsy leaf being blown around in the wind. If she suddenly turned transparent, Addy wouldn’t have been shocked. “Honey… you have to…” Addy said, trying to keep up her hope and optimism that they would find a cure together and that this precious Little now safely tucked in her arms would live. “We need to keep going, or you’ll… you’ll…” Addy couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Die…” Mindy said breathlessly though without any hesitation or fear now about it. “I know, but… I just can’t hurt anymore.” Mindy was weak but she was also smart and observant, something the cancer hadn’t taken away. “Please don’t be upset… I’ll try, and you did your best… I know that.” She sighed, seemingly stressed with the burden of trying to let Addy be guilt-free in this mess. “But… I don’t know how much longer I have…” Addy wanted to say something… anything, but as tears fell from her cheeks, she could only hold her Little tighter, something that seemed to be harder and harder to hold onto. If Bruce was the more talkative type or couldn’t recognize the moment that was happening between the two, he might have commented that Addy looked like she never wanted to let go. And for Addy, she was feeling the same, and only held on tighter… * * * Addy’s eyes shot open and her arms felt the emptiness without Mindy. Even years later, the pain and the loss of her Little still stung horribly. She could still feel her withering body in her arms… the feel of her soft skin… the smell of her body after a fresh shower at night when she tucked her in… It was all still so vivid even though all that was long gone now. But this morning, another matter caught her attention. Sadly, Oliver’s dreams had only gotten more pronounced as he stayed here longer. Addy’s nightly presence for part of the week at least helped and the Lighthouse seemed to be a true safety net for the Little… but it was still proving not enough some nights… like this one. Tossing and turning like he was, he mumbled out several incoherent sentences and a few that Addy recognized right away as Oliver talking to his partner… like the one he had lost. So, Addy did what she did best and made sure to softly wake up, calm him down, and resettle him for the night. Once the trembling Little was asleep, Addy checked the time, and as usual, it was only about ten minutes before she would normally wake up anyways. Sighing, she ventured out of Oliver’s room, returned to her and prepped for the day. With modern technology and conveniences, only 15 minutes later, she was out and headed downstairs to enjoy her own breakfast. Sitting at the table, Addy enjoyed her coffee, toast, eggs, and fruit. “Thank you, Federica.” She smiled and nodded. “Anything for you, Addy… another rough night?” Addy’s stomach sank. “You heard?” She knew that the walls around her weren’t the thickest and even with Oliver now shouting last night, his mumbles and calls for help likely had penetrated his door… Addy was just hoping they hadn’t. “We all did…” Penny noted sourly after taking a sip of her own coffee… black… no sugar and no cream. Just raw and harsh fittingly enough. “I’m sorry, Penny…” Addy apologized as Federica scurried off. Addy hated apologizing to the traitor in their ranks, still trying to find an angle to trap her and get information on the board and the conspiracy around here… but for now, she also knew she needed to play ball. Horribly, however, as if nothing was wrong. “I’ve been trying everything I can. I think he might just be a little too hurt…” “Then push him down!” she screeched, almost banging her fist on the tabletop. “You know it’s what he needs now! Erase his past. Make him whole again as a regressed Little. You know he’d be happier…” Her eyes then narrowed and she squinted back at Addy with a mix of hatred and deviousness. “Or are you too much of a coward to do that? To lose another Little here?” Several of the nurses gasped and turned toward the two in horror and shock. Addy stood up, her knuckles cracking under the pressure she was exerting on them instead of directing them right into Penny’s nose. Inside, she wasn’t sure which Little Addy was referring to. It could be the loss of Mindy or maybe the loss of Cara’s maturity under her watch… like a bully taunting their victim about how they terrorized someone else in their life. Just as Addy was about to demand to know, Dr. Halgen walked in… the tension quickly dying out after. “Morning ladies! Ready for another bright day here?” “Yes, Dr. Halgen,” the nurses said dutifully, the conflict between Penny and Addy still hovering in the air. If Dr. Halgen noticed it though, she had the wits to stay out of it and observe from afar. She was a gentle soul, but her reputation as an ever-watchful eye and being as vindictive as the worst of them when provoked, she maintained order over the facility. Most, if not all nurses, at least respected that. And, as Addy had found out, it was one of the many reasons she had been sent here to figure out the corruption in the first place… Still, with Dr. Halgen in the dining room and her Littles needing attending to according to her monitor at least, Addy left without another word… another thought… and definitely not a slug to the face against Penny. But as she climbed the stairs, she couldn’t help but take in Penny’s words about her Littles… Oliver in particular. While Katrina was fine, Oliver was certainly not. In nearly every category here, except for the few friends he had made within his own group, he was failing at nearly every other level. Mental health and his cancer were just the most obvious… and something Addy just couldn’t wrap her head around and find a solution to. As life does though, it continues whether one wishes it to or not. So, the typical day progressed. Waking up both her Littles, Addy ensured both were clean, dressed, and fed breakfast and given their various on-going medications. While Katrina would likely be off hers soon, Oliver would still require his own to at least keep his cancer at bay. It wasn’t a permanent fix, but the Juventas drugs were still powerful at prolonging his life… for now. Then, Cara would come over, and she would join the others. She was coming right along, but she still had several ‘bad days,’ where she would align more with the third batch and Katrina would patiently watch over her… at least until she and the others would then go to their group therapy session, medical treatment, or an outing with a new prospective Big. By Dr. Halgen’s And Addy’s last estimate, Katrina had three Bigs she seemed most interested in. Oliver… had less. Now, on days when a Big was present, that was usually the end of things. Most Bigs wanted as much time as they could squeeze and when they got back, it was time for a nap or dinner… at least depending on how regressed a Little was so far. For Katrina and Oliver, they were still in the block that almost no matter what, they would be more than ready to go anywhere else, like a park or playground… just as long as it was out of the facility it seemed. Today, however, due to mix-up in the schedule, the outing was first. Though reluctant to let Oliver go on his own, Addy stayed behind. She knew too much bonding with Oliver could only push him to more bullying from Damien and others. So, despite what was in her heart, she stayed behind. But she stayed busy, pouring over dozens of journals and articles and any spare bit of medical advice on potential new treatments for Oliver. With the typical method out, Addy had to search daily for anything dealing with his advanced cancer… even if it was a stop-gap measure and not something more permanent. But so far… nothing. Addy sighed, closing another medical journal in frustration. ‘Another one kaput! At this rate, Oliver would be lucky to be an old man by the time I find another cure that won’t also kill or seriously harm him like the first!’ Addy groaned and turned to yet another magazine, this one from Aquitania. ‘Those Europans always seem to have the most cutting-edge techno…’ “Another journal, eh?” a voice called out in the darkened halls of the research library. Addy spun around in her chair and came face-to-face with Dr. Tracey. “Oh! You scared me there a bit, doc, but yes… I’m determined to find another cure for cancer somewhere in here…” Addy looked around at the large stacks, both digital and print. These days, it was mostly used for research before a Little came here, and even then, half the cures they administered out were practically memorized by now. Dr. Tracey nodded and then peered over her shoulder. “Aquitania Journal of Medicine, huh? Interesting selection, though… perhaps a bit limited.” “Limited?” Addy asked, even raising an eyebrow. “Limited… at least in terms of what they’re willing to do,” Dr. Tracey explained. “They were held back for years by the influence of Gaule. Even when they finally broke off and allowed Catalon doctors in from the south, they rejected more than a few treatments they offered.” “They did? But… why would they do…?” Addy paused herself. In her quest for any kind of answer, she forgot the context of some countries. Aquitania was once liberal and treated Littles equally… but a strong influence from the more ‘regress every Little in sight’ Catalon to their south pulled sway and Aquitania became independent not long after the portal opened. Now, they were more conservative with Littles… still just not as much as Catalon. “It’s clicking now, isn’t it?” There was almost a mad and plying look on Dr. Tracey’s face… almost as if she was trying to lead Addy toward one inexorable answer… something beyond these stacks… something even beyond this facility. It was nearly chilling… at least if Addy didn’t see right through it. “Yes, I see your point,” Addy conceded. “Less treatments shown, but…” “But what is the weight of your Little compared to a few morals you might still have?” Her question was rude… but pointed and burrowed heavily into Addy’s mind. “Don’t you owe them that?” Addy quivered for a moment under the weight of such a statement. It was a tricky needle to thread. On the one hand, Oliver deserved to live and to live it the best he could as a Little here. For Addy, being a Little meant giving up the stress, accepting a few caveats in exchange for a life of happiness and luxury forever. On the other hand, though… Addy knew the techniques Dr. Tracey was itching at. They might be effective… but what would Oliver be like afterward? The unknown to that question bothered her deeply. “Well, yes…” she carefully said, trying to weave her words just right to avoid outright suspicion from likely a spy from the board and someone who seemed dead set on taking this place away from Dr. Halgen. “And I’ll think about it. I owe Oliver a lot… just not to the point of everything being taken from him.” Addy stood resolutely on that fact… something that Dr. Tracey seemed annoyed but ultimately okay with. There was something deep down inside the doctor that didn’t look like she agreed with Addy, but Addy’s words were sound and logical… and above board. Both knew that if Dr. Tracey raised the point to the board about her, nothing would happen. Addy had both the connections and the rules on her side in this case. So, Dr. Tracey merely smiled, acknowledged her logic and left. For Addy though, as she began to pour over the research of the Aquitania Journal of Medicine once more, she was seeing the same old standbys that she had seen for a few of the other cures as well. ‘No, no… allergic to that… would likely kill Oliver by the time it got here and… oh look. Would kill Oliver outright because it’s only for Bigs… Stupid journal…’ Once again, she slammed the journal closed, and she might have called it a day. Katrina and Oliver’s medical appointments were happening in less than an hour and Addy did have one solution she could try. It wasn’t foolproof, but it could work. But the skeptic in Addy was pessimistic about most things. She had the one cure, and that failed. Another cure failing seemed just as likely. ‘So, I need a third as a backup now, but…’ Her eyes drifted toward the reflection in the window in front of her… a near perfectly illuminated sign of the basement repository. Seldom searched anymore with most of those cures nearly seeming barbaric. For example, bleeding someone was still in one of the textbooks situated in the basement stacks. ‘But Oliver…’ Addy didn’t like herself for even considering it, but all the same, she found herself drifting toward the door… and then down the stairs. Opening an old wooden door, the lock barely hung off the latch to keep it closed, Addy stepped inside and flipped on the switch for power. All at once, several stacks were illuminated from overhead by a flickering and sickening yellow light. “Okay…” She sighed, but still stepped forward, determined to find a third option for Oliver. Pushing through the stacks, they were all labeled neatly… just covered in years, maybe even decades worth of cobwebs and dust. But with the labels, Addy was able to bypass several rows. “It’s not dementia… gout… the common cold… bubonic plague… ah! Cancer!” Dustier perhaps than the others, Addy came to the first book, her heart beating with anticipation. Even as it opened and creaked under its age and heft, there was a palpable air of musky oddity with the book. Still, Addy pushed through and quickly found the chapter on cures. But immediately reshelved the books the second her eyes came to the first alternative cure. While there were several treatments apparently, the first one labeled itself very clearly in big bold letters: Vicissim. Addy knew the drug well. A Juventas oldy, it was a standby for Little for years, but mostly as a trick to regress them. Coming from the word reverse in Latin, it would reverse any current ills any patient was suffering from. The problem was… it also tended to focus on both muscle tone and brain mass. After a week on it, most Littles suffered from permanent incontinence at least and massive neural deficits. ‘No! No, damn it!’ Her mom forbade that very drug here in her second year as head of the facility. So many Littles were lost and though it cured cancer, most Littles would have preferred death. It would not only violate the contract, but it would also almost guarantee that Oliver would never leave this dimension again… let alone recognize his own face in the mirror anymore, to say nothing about the rest of his regressed body. Addy then looked around and saw the neglect and disuse of the room. Centuries of medical knowledge was down here… but she chastised herself deeply. ‘I should have known this place was abandoned for a reason! People don’t just throw away cures and medical text because they were all cute and golden standards. Dang it!’ Addy cursed herself and Dr. Tracey for even tempting her and guilting her about Oliver in the first place. ‘That woman is up to no goo…’ Her watch then beeped. Looking down at it, she saw the time. “Crud! Medical treatments in two minutes!” Nearly spitting on the place, Addy ran out of the dusty stacks and made sure to lock the door this time. She knew that Dr. Halgen had the key and could always access it later if need be. For Addy though, she swore she would never enter again. Making it just in time, Katrina was first up. Bruce was diligent and kind and just for her after she got scared at one point, Addy stayed for her Little, holding her hand the whole time. Like Mindy, the two shared a bond. For Addy though, it just didn’t feel the same. ‘But why? She’s young, certainly seems willing to be a Little forever, and has that bubbly personality…’ But every time she saw Katrina, she only saw a clingy and cute Little in need of help… just not her Little. Still, once Bruce finished up, Katrina nearly jumped off the seat, smiled and thanked the both of them and then ran off. She was a ray of sunshine and seemed to light up every room she was in. All the nurses agreeing, choosing day was going to be very tough on her and her prospective Bigs as well. “She doing okay you think?” Bruce finally asked. Addy, relieved at some good news at last, nodded. “I think so. We need to check for sure, but maybe… two to three weeks left of this treatment? I mean, we’re giving her a low dose to make sure she’s not in any pain or discomfort during treatment, but yes… I think she’s doing better.” Bruce only smiled and prepped for the next treatment. Contrasting Katrina, likely the most of all the next batch of Littles, Oliver was next. When he first came to Bruce, the Little seemed to practically carry a dark cloud around with him just above his head, threatening to snap at any and everyone any chance he got. Today though, this new Oliver was timid… scared even. Still sad, but instead of showing anger at the world, he now seemed to show exhaustion and grief. For Addy, every time she saw him, a little part of her heart broke in two. ‘Not bubbly. Not willing it seems to even open up to me, but… maybe it’s his vulnerability. But I feel closer to him than most… but why?’ But Addy wasn’t one to look at a gift horse in the mouth as it were, so she quickly put on her front and went to work. “Well, hello there, Oliver! You ready for another go today?” Oliver looked sadly at her, but his eyes soon shifted to the purple liquid that Bruce was now hanging on the IV bag just behind the chair he would sit in. “Is it… safe?” Addy sighed, knowing full-well why he was asking. “I… I hope it is,” she finally managed to make out. It wasn’t a commitment to safety, but it also wasn’t a message of doom either. Oliver seemed to shake a little in his chair, his nerves clearly at play, likely remembering the hives that he broke out in last time and immense pain that accompanied them and inside his body as well. “But it could work?” Addy heard the tiny bit of hope in his voice, and relieved at that much at least, she smiled and nodded before patting the seat right beside her. “Come on, Oliver. Let’s get started and see if we can flush that nasty cancer from your body, alright?” Looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but here, Oliver finally nodded and slowly and achily got up from his wheelchair. Unfortunately, as his cancer progressed, he was using it more and more now. Seeing that, Addy hid her hand but crossed her fingers tight in hopes that today would go better. “Okay,” Addy said slowly as she inserted the IV needle into Oliver’s central line while Bruce finished prepping the swirling purple mass of a solution before retreating to keep a close eye on the monitor, ready to jump in with another needle if this treatment failed as well. “Okay now… as I said, I think this solution might be better. I did some research and Dr. Halgen agrees with me. So, fingers crossed, right?” “If you say so…” Oliver said after breathing heavily out. All around him, there almost seemed to be a large cloud of skepticism brewing. Despite that more cynical approach though, at the same time, Addy could see the fear behind his eyes. She couldn’t blame him on any account at this point. He was slowly dying and he had come here to be cured. But now, instead, it had been failure after miserable failure. Still, with a smidgeon of hope left, Addy had found another treatment. ‘But will it work?’ Sighing, Addy flicked the switch and watched the purplish liquid enter the IV catheter and then slowly filter into Oliver’s sickly body, his eyes flashing fear and nervousness as the strange new substance entered his body. His skepticism seemed to only grow. “Bruce?” Addy asked with hope and yet a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. “How are we looking?” Bruce studied the monitor. “Good… I think. Some strange readings admittedly, but you warned me that might be normal, right?” “Right,” Addy confirmed, her own fear spiking a little. “New formula they’ve been experimenting with in Norwagia across the pond. Still though… I just want to stay on top of this in case something…” She paused and looked at her Little. Oliver was weakened by the cancer… but strong. Strong and stubborn. When he felt pain, he was still mature enough to internalize it as much as he could. It was like watching a dying man hold onto the last of his life… just in this case, his machismo… his manliness instead of the Little Addy knew he was slowly becoming. Still, even stone statues can crack. It was evident from his face that something was wrong, but it took at least two minutes before he seemed to give way… if only for a moment. A minute later though, even Oliver seemed to be caving into whatever was going wrong. “Addy… I don’t feel so good…” “You…” Addy saw just how much of the purple solution had entered his bloodstream. The needle was powerful and would flush him clean, but if Oliver could hold on for only two more minutes, they would be okay. He would be cured to the point where they could try smaller solutions. It wasn’t the best, but it was a chance in life. But in her determination, she hadn’t looked at Oliver… at least not too closely. When he groaned though, it was like a siren going off in her head to be on high alert. She didn’t want to look again… fearing the worst, but she did, and when she did, she had to try her best not to panic or burst into tears. Simply put, Oliver was pale, his veins turning green and his skin turning hot and sweaty. “Bruce! Stop the treatment! Stop the treatment!” Addy shouted at him, to which he nodded and promptly stopped the flow while still looking at the monitor, his eyes showing the horror his mouth wouldn’t speak. Addy then scooted her stool as close to Oliver as she could, hitting him with the needle before he could gasp another breath. Finally inhaling, Addy breathed a sigh of relief. “Breathe! Breathe!” This time though, Oliver held up his hand and looked at Addy, his eyes full of fear and mourning as his skin and veins began to normalize. “Shhh… shhh… just breathe, honey…” Addy gripped his hand as tight as she could without hurting him. She didn’t want him to have any doubt that she was going to leave his side. “You’re okay… you’re okay…” With his lack of breathing and his blood turning a different sickly color, it took a moment for Oliver to speak, and when he did, he looked right at Addy. “When will it stop?” he asked, the pain and weakness in his voice coming through clear and touching Addy’s heart with both shame and failure on her part. “Soon… soon…” She squeezed his hand to reassure him further. She wanted to convey her own strength to him… a solid pillar he could lean on in times of stress and fear and panic and pain. But Addy wasn’t as strong as she used to be… at least with hiding her true feelings. She was mentally strong, but her front couldn’t stay up forever and when it dropped it echoed the thing both refused to say but both Big and Little knew deep down. At this rate and with no cure, Oliver didn’t have long… “Addy?” Oliver finally asked, his breathing, skin, and temperature returning to more normal levels now according to Bruce. “I want to be strong… for me… for you…” He took a deep breath. “But… I don’t think I can do this anymore… I can feel it all…” He was practically whispering now, like he was worried that death would overhear him and come even sooner. Addy flashed back and was once more reminded terribly of Mindy. That day this same thing happened… it was her last treatment before… Addy shook her head of those bad thoughts as much as she could. “Oliver… you have to…” she said, trying to keep up her hope and optimism that they would find a cure together and that he wouldn’t share the same fate as her previous Little. “We need to keep going, or you’ll… you’ll…” But try as she might, seeing Oliver like this and his body rejecting yet another cure, Addy couldn’t help but think of Mindy, and so she couldn’t bring herself to say what both of them knew. Oliver, it seemed at least, didn’t have any qualms about the notion. “Die…” he said breathlessly though without any hesitation or fear now about it. “I know, and I want to fight. I was a trained agent, and I took down cartels and gangs and all that. I want to go out with my boots on, but… I just can’t hurt anymore… not like that. I could feel death looking in on me… his watching counting my clock down…” Oliver wasn’t as strong anymore, but his words were no less biting. Unlike when he first came in though, Oliver had seemingly opened a small crack into his heart… letting in very few people. Addy was one of them, and not even seeming to notice, Oliver quickly saw her tears. Wiping one away as best he could, he gave his best smile to her. “Please don’t be upset… I’ll try, and you did your best… never forget that. I just…” She sighed. “I don’t know how much longer I have…” Addy wanted to say something… anything, but once again, she could only sit by her Little and hold them tight. With Oliver, it was just his hand, but that almost seemed to mean more than anything else right then. He had offered a part of himself in fear to her, and she had taken it back… giving him all the support her traumatized soul could afford. It wasn’t much from either of them, but there almost seemed to be an unspoken notion that both were giving as much as they could to each other. That night, sick with worry, as soon as Oliver and Katrina were all tucked in and asleep, Addy once again trudged back to Dr. Halgen’s office, the doors strangely open at this time of night. “Dr. Halgen?” she asked nervously, knowing she needed advice from someone like her. A deep sigh came from inside. “Come in, Addy…” Addy walked in slowly, looking around to see if there was some sort of trap set up or a crossbow ready to strike. To her relief, it was just Dr. Halgen, but she was leaning over her desk with one hand supporting her weight and the other clutching a glass of something that definitely wasn’t water. “Dr. Halgen? Is everything okay?” Dr. Halgen turned, her face full of anxiety and stress… but as soon as she Addy, she smiled. “Nothing. It’s nothing, Addy. Just… board concerns. I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon enough…” She took a swig of the amber brown liquid in her crystal glass before setting it back down. “Now… what can I do for you tonight?” Addy didn’t like what she was hearing, but she had known Dr. Halgen for long enough by now to know she was about as solid as a brick wall when it came to the disclosure of secrets. Once she moved on, there was very little to turn her back. So, with that in mind, Addy switched to the other topic now most plaguing her mind. “It’s Oliver…” Her throat caught for a moment, getting stuck in the memories of mixing him and what happened to Mindy. Two very different Littles, but so far, one very similar path. Dr. Halgen sighed. “About today, huh? Another failed treatment I see…” She then walked behind her desk and sat down before bidding for Addy to do the same. “You heard?” Addy wasn’t sure how attuned Dr. Halgen was some days. Considering how distracted she seemed and the mix-up in schedule, Addy wouldn’t be surprised either way. “I did…” Dr. Halgen viewed Addy with scrutinizing eyes… almost as if she was waiting for something to happen. And Addy didn’t disappoint her. Between the stress of the day, the connection between Oliver and Mindy, and now Dr. Halgen’s stare, Addy felt helpless as she sat down. “I… I… I feel I’m about to lose another Little… I…” Addy was trying, but failing, at keeping it together in front of her boss. Her friend, yes, but still her boss. “Addy…” Dr. Halgen looked back at the nurse now before her and simply pushed a tissue box closer to her. “Just let it out, honey. This is a safe space…” Addy nodded, took a tissue and blew… and then started to cry even harder. “Same reaction! Same into! Same path, and cancer even! I just… I see Oliver getting weaker everyday now and I see him starting to give up hope. Today… today he asked me to stop… just like Mindy!” Addy tried to brush away her feelings, but her efforts were failing for that as well. Dr. Halgen smiled sympathetically at her friend before leaning across her desk and taking Addy’s hands tightly within her own. “Addy… I know you. You’ll find a cure for him. You’ve had two bad days with a patient. Don’t throw in the towel now!” She squeezed her hands. “Come on. Deep breaths for me. In. Out. In. Out…” Addy followed Dr. Halgen as she began breathing deeply in and out. With her hands gripped and sitting down, Addy began to ground herself. She still felt terrible, but there was just something almost hypnotic from her friend. “There we go,” Dr. Halgen praised without any inflection of mockery laced within her voice. “Just keep breathing and remember a few things.” Addy sniffled and looked up as Dr. Halgen took a deep breath. “First, we still have time. Oliver can last much longer at this rate with the new pills he’s taking. Second, like with the pills, the way technology grows like weeds around here, there are bound to be new discoveries every day. And third… and most importantly, Mindy and Oliver are different.” Addy liked hearing the words from her friend. Somehow, they seemed much more real and official when they were spouted off from her. Addy knew them, but now, she felt lighter… more assured… at least if not for the last reason. “Thank you, Dr. Halgen, but… I know they’re different. I know that deep down, I promise. Two different people. I just… I see a lot of similarities.” Dr. Halgen smiled and nodded before retracting her hands and then clicked on her keyboard and mouse. Stopping for a moment, she looked back at Addy. “And I know you know that, honey, but… when I say they’re different, I mean it in some ways that I think you should know tonight.” Addy looked with puzzlement as Dr. Halgen swiveled her monitor around. “Now… these test results still need to be double checked by an outside party just to be sure, but…” Dr. Halgen clicked a few more times and showed a side-by-side comparison of both Mindy’s and Oliver’s charts. While old and some items lined up, there were some notable differences… especially in the conclusions and analysis sections. “Wait…” Addy’s eyes narrowed on the two sections closely. “Am I reading this correctly?” Dr. Halgen nodded gladly, her grin growing wide by the second. “You are,” she confirmed before point to the areas. “After their first tests, it was concluded that Mindy was too sick by the time she came here and every effort to save her was likely going to end in failure… even today, the result likely would have been the same.” “And Oliver… he’s… he’s…” Addy knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to say it. Dr. Halgen intervened instead. “That’s right. He’s absolutely sick and on a decline unfortunately, but… it’s more about his immune system and body rejecting the drugs rather than that he’s too weak to handle them like Mindy was. It could be different with the tests we ran after his treatment today, but I would bet money on it that the results are the same.” Addy was nearly speechless with the results. Oliver was by no means out of the woods yet… but he now had a chance where Mindy never did. Addy knew that about Mindy and it was one of the things that still hurt her so much that a Little would come here in one last hope to save her life… and even this society with all it’s advancement and refinery still failed her. Bigs are supposed to protect Littles and this place that day failed her miserably. Dr. Halgen kept smiling and turned her monitor back before interlocking her fingers and taking a breath. “And more importantly, what this means is that you might have a way forward now. You’ve been looking at several treatments that are either traditional or safe for Oliver. Now that we know he can take a little more, I might suggest a… different approach.” “Different?” Addy questioned, a slight frown forming as she tried to decipher the meaning. “Different,” Dr. Halgen confirmed. “You might consider focusing on less traditional methods of healing. Don’t consult a Ouija board mind you, but… just keep an open mind. Maybe give a little on one front and tell yourself that you are trying to save his life. We walk a fine line here with what we do to help or to regress… but this is a case where it might be down to a strange or different treatment versus death.” With that, Addy thanked her and the two talked for a little longer, but after her sage advice was given, Dr. Halgen was engaged but seemed distracted by whatever had happened right before Addy had walked in. It gave her an unsettled feeling, but the two bidding each other goodnight, Addy still felt good. She felt less good though when she hit the library and began going over several other cures and treatments that she had once rejected. The hour rolled on and Addy needed more research on a few, and maybe it was just a breeze passing through the house or the old frame creaking from the weather outside… but one item seemed to want to make itself known. The door that goes down to the basement. And, for the briefest of flashes, Addy considered going back down there again. She wasn’t proud of herself for that, wanting to kick her own butt for even considering it, but Dr. Halgen’s words kept ringing out in her head. Different ways and keeping an open mind were a dangerous combination… especially in this dimension. But Addy remained firm. She clutched her chest and thought of Oliver. She pictured the moments from the past few days… where he was actually happy. Playing a board game with other Littles or skipping stones on the unfrozen lake at the time or laughing at a genuinely funny show on TV. Small moments, but moments that would be stolen if she dared ventured into the basement. ‘No… no, not tonight. Oliver deserves more than that today…’ But even her own thoughts had to add the qualifier of today, and whether she knew it or not, clocks began to tick in her head. A clock of death… a clock of Oliver’s time here… a clock until that one day she made in fact become desperate enough to open the door and go back down there to save his life.

Hey everyone! Wow… sorry for the delay everyone. This is a long chapter and that delayed everything, but ouch. My cut finger definitely slowed it down as well. Hurt like the dickens about halfway through yesterday and I just couldn’t keep going. Plus, with the length and what I wanted to hit on, I knew I couldn’t rush it. Looking ahead, there’s some snow and ice coming my way… a lot of people’s way here in the states if maps are to be believed. While this could be a problem, as long as I don’t lost power, I’m hoping to catch up on the next few chapters and post regularly… even if I just so happen to accidentally slice another finger. Also, as a bit of a side note here, my current poll is still up and from what I’m seeing, there seems to almost be a tie between creating a wiki and not. What I might end up doing is creating a test page of sorts for you all to check out and create a new poll based on that instead. With everything going on, this might not hit until the second part at this point, but I also just wanted you all to know my thought process and mindset with it as of today. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 5: Under My Wing If You Please To be blunt, on the whole at least, nurses care. Or at least, care and heal, and the very best put their heart and soul into their patients and ensure they walk out better than when they came in. This could mean for some a blanket and a hug that the monsters won’t get them, or it could mean holding a hand when their patient is in pain, or it could mean contributing at the very least to an effort to fully cure someone of cancer. It was universal… across the dimensions and never failing for those who hold such an honorific. In the other dimension though… being a nurse, particularly at Psyche, meant something a little different as well. True, the nurses at Psyche New Beginnings were there to care and heal their Littles. The Littles had come here sick or broken or wounded or one of a million other terms to describe what ailed them. At the end of the day though, their bargain was to trade being cured of that in exchange for being the Little of a Big for five years at minimum. And for nurses like Addy, that was the rub she had to contend with every day. Yes, they were nurses, and they wanted their Littles to step out better than they came in… but here, they had another motivation as well. Due to cultural norms and corporate standards, each Little would need to be unknowingly regressed in some capacity. The degree would largely depend on the Big of their choosing and the nurse themselves, but in the first month and as part of that regression process, the main goal was to acquaint the Littles with their Big and get them to begin to drop their shields of modesty, ambition, pride, and all other traits that would ever have them be described as ‘adult.’ Now, the Lighthouse was a literal beacon of innovation and relief to millions of Bigs and Littles alike with its varied settings. Of course, its purpose was twisted by some of the more conservative members of Big society and it could often be found in the most nefarious of homes, but likewise, it could be found in countless others as the only relief that a Big could find for themselves in some cases or their frightened, frustrated, or even just downright scared Little. So, each night and being the good nurse she was, Addy would turn it on… but her duty as a nurse as part of Psyche became tricky when it came to Oliver. For Katrina, she seemed to relish the path she was on, going from one obstacle or hurdle to the next with a laugh or a smile. Seeing her dance about even, Addy had no doubt that she would be a popular Little coming choosing day. But Oliver… Oliver was complicated and each time Addy left his room for the night, her heart hurt at the decision she would have to make. The Lighthouse, with all its power, could give him relief… one way or another. Turned up to the highest settings, Oliver could begin to forget his past. There would be no Earth for him… no trauma… no pain anymore. Those neurons and memories would be a severed tie forever floating around in his brain to be eventually forgotten about. One push of the button and Oliver wouldn’t be in pain. Addy had the power in her hands, and each night, when the night terrors came back because she didn’t turn the machine on to its highest settings, she looked at the Lighthouse with longing to do more with it. It was the easy way out of all this, and Oliver would never be himself again if she truly did mess with it… but there would be no more pain in his cries. He would embrace her as a figure of comfort. He could possess a stuffy to carry him through the night and she could sing and read and rock him to sleep as much as she wanted. It would only take a turn of the side dial… but no matter what, each night, Addy couldn’t bring herself to do it. For her, and for her convictions of treating Littles with respect, it also came with the burden of letting them still feel the pain of their past. It had been the same with Patrick before. He was tortured of the night he was too drunk to drive home, and thus after picking him up, his mom and him were in a car accident that horrible rainy night… claiming her life and taking away his ability to walk. It was hard to see him back then with his pain and guilt of that one fateful night… worse even still when he began to walk and fall over when he was learning with Bruce. And now, as fate would have it, she had another Little who was feeling some kind of pain from his past. Not broken but deeply scarred… inside and out. Addy knew something had happened in his past and just wanted to help him… but giving him the respect and dignity of not jumping ahead in the process here, she did nothing except try to calm him back to sleep each night. Sadly, though, while he was getting better at first, the failure of his treatment seemed to only exaggerate his night terrors afterward. “No! God no! Please! Take me! Don’t you hurt her! Don’t you dare hurt her!” Night after weary night, it would be the same words over and over like some terrifying film replaying again and again in his head. Addy wished with all her might that she could comfort him… as only a Big could for their Little. But she held herself in reserve… no matter the stress… no matter the looks she got from others the morning after. Despite his lack of progress, however, the other Littles were surging ahead. Each treatment, Addy could see them getting stronger or the shakes lessening or a flicker in a wrist that had long gone dormant from disease and severed connections. So, it was no surprise when one night she was called back to Dr. Halgen’s office. This time though, she wasn’t alone. “You know what this means, right?” Cassie questioned with near excitement in her voice. “Of course…” Erin noted, a slight spark of joy of a different kind splashing across her face. “Our Littles aren’t going to die if they step more than a foot away from this facility now and we’ve already begun to work on their fragile little minds. It only means one thing…” Addy didn’t like it when Erin got so gleeful about the downfall of the Littles under their care, but she also knew that she was a solid nurse. Vindictive and maybe even a little cruel at the start, she was usually the most devoted and caring by the end of her Little’s stay here. What’s more… if Erin wanted it, Addy knew deep down that nearly every Little by the end would have chosen her to be their permanent caregiver. Just in the beginning… ‘She can be a right vicious bitch sometimes…’ Addy kept the thought to herself and pushed inside of Dr. Halgen’s office without a word to the other two. “Have a seat, ladies,” Dr. Halgen gestured to the three chairs now in front of her desk. Each nodded and took their seat as the good doctored then moved her desk monitor to face them. “Now, as you can see, we have six Littles. We delayed them a bit this time, but I’m getting pressure from the board… so I need to know…” She looked at each of her nurses with deadly seriousness. “Can your Littles be allowed to finally meet with their aligned prospective caregivers?” She looked to her far left. “Erin… we’ll start with you…” Erin seemed hesitant at first but nodded. “I sent you my findings right before I came down…” She adjusted herself in her seat as Dr. Halgen looked and then nodded in confirmation of their receipt. “As you can see… I think Jacob still needs his machine to breathe. It’s going to be a long road, but he at least seems eager to get out and about. I’ve made recommendations for where to take him that shouldn’t be an issue…” Dr. Halgen nodded and clicked on the next file. “And Ella?” Erin sighed. “Her MS hasn’t advanced terribly, at least not compared to some of the others we’ve seen here, but she still requires the use of a cane and her motor skills are shaky at best… but if the caregiver knows that then I think she’ll be okay. I would probably suggest a specific order for the prospective Bigs… one that is more passive. For example, the former Olympic track star might be better for a later date.” Dr. Halgen seemed to swirl the notion around in her head but then smiled. “Agreed.” She then turned to Cassie. “And yours?” Cassie nodded and pulled the folder she had brought with her and looked over it briefly. “I say yes. Robin is partially paralyzed for now and will need some help… but it’s not something we haven’t dealt with before.” “And you still say yes with Xander?” Dr. Halgen asked, moving on quickly with a hint of skepticism coming through loud and clear in her voice. Cassie didn’t answer right away. She was experienced and knew that Xander was likely the most problematic candidate of the batch. “Well… he’s a challenge for sure. Definitely need a strict type with him right now. Maybe the colonel if he’s still available…” Dr. Halgen didn’t seem especially pleased with the notion of a rogue Little under roof but still nodded her head and took the files Cassie offered her. After a moment, the doctor then lastly turned to Addy. “And yours…?” Addy had been dreading this moment. She knew it was coming… but she also had a problem on her hands. “Well… Katrina is fine. I think she would work well with most types, and I’ve highlighted a number of caregivers that would match her requirements. She needs fun… even now. At this point in the process, an authoritative type could wreck her…” “I see…” Dr. Halgen knew just as well as Addy that it could be a red flag for some of their facilities in the south, but in Crescentia, she should be fine. “Yes… but Oliver…” Now was the moment she was dreading. Katrina would be fine and she would leave here happy and content barring any complications… but Oliver was a different story. “As you know, no progress with his cure. I’m hitting every book I can and we’re still awaiting the official test results of what happened, but honestly… I’m more worried about his mental state.” Dr. Halgen leaned forward a little. “Oh? You think he could be a loss?” she asked, her tone so casual yet her words so heavy. In fact, Addy had to grip her chair to keep from falling backward from what she was hearing now. A loss here at Psyche meant the Little’s contract would be voided and depending on their offense, could be set loose without a pass back home. It would almost certainly end in tragedy… especially for Oliver at this point. So, knowing that, despite her reservations, Addy knew she needed to seed a little white lie… at least for now. “No, no. He’s just… no cure and night terrors. I think he’s a challenging case, but I could see his reluctance to be a positive for some Bigs out there. Take that as you will, but… I think he’s logical and knows the contract he signed still. He knows this is coming…” “Hmmm…” Dr. Halgen didn’t seem convinced, but she ultimately approved Addy’s Littles as well. Smiling back at her nurses, she sent off her email to fully inform the prospective Bigs of their potential Littles… and that they were now ready to meet. “Congratulations you three. This is an important step. Now, go and get your rest. Tomorrow is a big day for you and your Littles. Give them comfort, set expectations, rules and boundaries, and above all… make sure you can be a shoulder for them to punch or cry on when they return…” Nodding, each of the nurses then left and made their way to the top floor and to their own rooms. Addy had trouble getting to sleep, still worried about Oliver… but soon, her eyes closed. * * * Without fail, each of the Bigs readily accepted their offered invites for today, and Addy’s phone beeped with the information of confirmation for who was coming. For Katrina, a male banker and for Oliver, a male store owner. Nervousness gripped the good nurse’s heart, but she still made sure to fortify herself and prep for the day ahead… her duty to her Littles pushing her forward all the time. It still didn’t make the morning any easier though… There was a buzz of both excitement and dread around the breakfast table. While the more advanced Littles tried to convince their batch that everything would be fine, Addy had half a mind to shoo them away. Their dwindling inhibitions made them the cutest thing on the planet… but truthful to a fault. A Little who’s been here for less than two weeks does not need to know about how fun the Little-sized swings could be at the park… Still, despite the growing tension, everyone knew the moment would come when the Littles would be sent away on their own, but when that moment finally came, Addy could only look outside and see each of the Littles depart away from her. Seeing them disappear down the hill from her spot just behind the curtains in the Family room, she sighed. “Oh, cheer up, Addy,” Cassie suggested carefully as she moved away from her own view of her Littles leaving as well. “You know where they’re going. All preapproved and double checked carefully by Dr. Halgen now. I’m sure that they’ll be just fine… you’ll see.” Addy sighed again and let the curtain go from her hand, blocking her view once more. “Yeah. I know we didn’t have some of the same precautions in place, but it’s just… I thought that last time and then the first guy I sent one of my Littles with turned out to be a sadist and just a plain bad guy… which then turned the whole situation into a kidnapping and the forcible regression of Cara.” “Oh…” The story was quite well-known by now, but a lot of the details had been left out of the press for privacy’s sake and even still, most at Psyche only knew what they were told… which was just enough to keep their Littles safe and any of the nurses on alert to keep it from happening again. “Sorry… I keep forgetting about that. Seems like years ago now though, doesn’t it?” “I guess…” Addy mumbled, drifting away once more upstairs and deciding to just focus on paperwork until they returned. Cassie was a good person and Addy wanted to talk to her at length most days, but today, she couldn’t help but feel dread bubbling up in her belly with each tick of the clock. ‘Please… please, oh please be okay my Littles… come back unharmed and untraumatized… be okay, please…’ When the old gates of the facility finally opened and the birds flew away once more, Addy could feel her heart plummeting in sheer terror, but swallowing her bile, she hurriedly rushed down to see if her prayers had been answered. Coming outside with the rest of the nurses, she put on her most scrutinizing eyes possible, looking carefully for any signs of distress from either her Littles or a malice or hidden evil from their accompanying prospective Bigs. Fortunately, she found none… just a quiet bunch shuffling back in from the comparative giants they had been with. She attempted to probe both Katrina and Oliver for their time out with their prospective Bigs, but neither said much aside from “It was okay,” or “I’m fine… it was fine…” Addy was a little frustrated with those types of responses, but knowing not to push, she just let it go and initially chalked it up to them being tired from a long day of fun… at least that’s what she hoped. As the day progressed, however, her panic increasing ever so steadily, she was almost relieved if not a little apprehensive when she was the last nurse to enter Dr. Halgen’s office once again to review the results of what happened today on their first outing. “Close the door, Addy…” Dr. Halgen said calmly but with an air of caution and foreboding around her. With sweaty palms, Addy did as she was told, and after briefly checking her portable monitor that both her Littles were still sound asleep, took a seat in front of Dr. Halgen. “Did… did something happen today?” she asked dryly, almost not even wanting to know the answer after what had happened with Patrick the last time one of her Littles first went with their prospective Big. Dr. Halgen took a deep breath in but shook her head. “No. Katrina was good.” She swung her monitor around to show the hidden camera footage their agents on the ground had captured, a specific new implement after what had happened with Redge and Patrick on their first and only outing. “Our spies captured several happy moments. Some awkward bits here and there, but I don’t think anything that won’t be smoothed over with some time and a little regression on her part.” Dr. Halgen then paused and Addy could feel the cloud of apprehension settle over the room. One Little down, but another to go. Wincing a little and knowing he could be the real sticking point in all this, Addy cleared her throat. “And Oliver?” Dr. Halgen swished her mouth around and then took on a pensive frown. “Yes… Oliver.” “What?” Addy pressed forward in her chair, her nails biting into the wooden armrests. “Something happened, didn’t it?” Dr. Halgen was a smart doctor and she knew her nurses. Having known Addy for years now, she especially knew her friend’s reason for apprehension. “No,” she said resolutely, even going so far as to hold her hand up as if to physically stop any negative thoughts from further infecting the room. “Nothing like what happened with Patrick. I just…” She gestured to the monitor. Addy stared back at the screen for an explanation, and at first, she didn’t see it. After Dr. Halgen played the tape a few times, however, it became evident that something was amiss. There was missing footage, but each frame shown only exhibited a distinct discomfort between the two. The Big, seemingly normal and attempting to make Oliver happy on the playground, just got a virtual brick wall from the Little… his body refusing to move closer to where others were having the most fun. Dr. Halgen sighed. “The agent on the ground couldn’t capture every moment between the two without being seen, but I’ve just reviewed the report from the Big.” Dr. Halgen remained silent and Addy couldn’t take the tension anymore. “And?” She aimlessly blinked back. “What did they say?” “Well… I’ll spare you the language and you can read the transcript later if you want…” Dr. Halgen replied as she turned her monitor away from Addy as if to conceal the truth from her. “But the bottom line?” Addy nodded, though she still had the gnawing feeling that she really didn’t want to know. Dr. Halgen leaned back in her chair and looked as if she was trying to calm herself. “Simply put… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Big reject a Little before… especially not after their first day together.” Addy’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor in shock. Tensions between a Big and a mostly unregressed Little… yes. It was the natural order of things if any Big was really being honest with themselves. Take an independent adult and then have a near giant talk down to them and bring them to a playground like it was the best day ever will nearly always lead to a problem… but the Big will always give the Little another chance. Wait a week around here and the Little that wants nothing more than to go back to wearing a stuffy business suit or even paying a bill… will change into at least a more accepting Little, if not an outright playful one. But for Oliver… there wouldn’t be a second chance. “I…” Addy was nearly at a loss for words but tried to remain hopeful, the dreadful word ‘loss’ still floating around in her head. “I guess that’s why we have multiple prospective Bigs…” “Yes…” Dr. Halgen hesitantly agreed. “You are correct, but… these Bigs also like to talk. Being a more local facility here in most cases… half the Bigs know each other. I mean… look at the batch with Patrick and all. Only one of the six of them doesn’t live within thirty miles of each other now.” “Right…” Addy’s mind was practically spinning by now. With an outright rejection from a Big, rumors could spread like wildfire and Oliver could become the pariah Little of the local groups. As hard as it was to believe, Xander, the knife-wielding criminal, could have a better shot at fulfilling his contract than Oliver… “Shit… what do we do now then?” “Now?” Dr. Halgen sighed and leaned forward as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Now… we need to dig. I’m going to put more pressure on my contacts to unseal his records from Earth. Meanwhile, you need to get through to him on a more personal level. Talk to him. Figure something out… at least before it’s too late and the board finds out about him and boots him out for trashing his end of the contract.” She sighed again, clearly hating to pressure any nurse to submit to the pure will of the stingy and close-minded board. “Just… fix his problems if you can, and failing that, get him to play ball with the next Big at the very least.” With no choice but to nod, Addy was more than a little anxious as she left Dr. Halgen’s office a little while later. Touched by uncertainty and a desire to not let one of her Littles fail completely in this program, Addy felt the burden of now two issues and their solutions with Oliver. First, before bed, she poured over dozens of textbooks and medical journals about why his body rejected the treatment. Second, when she woke up, she felt a pressing urge to stay with him more than she normally would during the next day… at least to keep an eye on him. Typically, the nurses would either rotate with their outings, or they would all go together if it was a larger event… like a Halloween party. Being just a regular day though, Cassie and two of the nurses from the other two shifts were going to take the Littles to a local park. Chilly for sure, but it would give everyone an opportunity to get out their messy feelings post-yesterday’s first meet-up with their prospective Bigs and any of the unearthed feelings from today’s therapy session. So, as soon as Robin gave her final thoughts on yesterday, bundled up tightly, the whole group went out to the park… including Addy. Penny, Wendy, and Cassie all looked at her a little oddly, but none of them outright rejected her accompaniment. While it was unusual, she would be another pair of eyes and hands to help the Littles, but above all, they all knew about Oliver and his peculiar case at the facility by now. If he had a problem, Addy would be the one to step in. Walking along to the park though, Katrina and Oliver both noticed their nurse tag along and while Katrina was more than happy to speedily talk to her about just about everything she could think of, conversely, Oliver kept his distance. For now, Addy used that to her advantage and after prompting Katrina to go and interact with the others, she could stay with the other nurses and observe Oliver from afar. Right away though, she spotted trouble. Only seeing the actions and not hearing them exactly, Oliver was more than a little hesitant to step foot on the playground where most of the other Littles had congregated… a fact they now seemed to be picking up on. And right then, the three sides to the Littles here asserted themselves in the worst of ways. From her vantage point, the most recent group of Littles were still too weak and powerless to defend one of their own. Oliver seemed to argue back, but one of the Littles, Damien, proved the qualities of the second group. The Littles in their second month here were healthier, but many had started to succumb to the effects of the drugs and hypnotics constantly being shoved in their face. Subservient to a fault in their new lost ways, Damien stood uniquely above the rest and gathered his herd and used fear and intimidation to subdue anyone that got in his way or simply stuck out. Today, that was unfortunately Oliver… the one Little that didn’t join in and make the teams even for a round of kickball. And lastly, the Littles in their third month here… to put it mildly, they cared more for slides and balls and their own stuffies than any of the politics that happen on the playground. It was an asset to them… just not a very useful one to Oliver. Just as Addy readied herself to jump in, instead, Penny dashed over and scolded her Little, pulling him away and defusing the tension in the crowd. Disappearing behind a small little stone building that housed the bathrooms, Addy could only silently wonder what was happening with her. Penny’s traitorous ways were still on her mind, and Addy dreaded thinking about what was happening there. “Looks like Penny just saved your Little’s bacon,” Wendy noted calmly, her eyes also fixated on the scene unfolding. “Seems like you have a handful with that one…” Addy shrugged, not wanting to give away too much to another nurse who could only turn around and report it to the board… as was her job. “I guess. Hard case, Oliver, is all. No cure and he seems less susceptible to the calming hypnotics on the TV shows.” “That’s possible?” she asked, seeming shocked. “I thought that stuff was inescapable for Littles.” Addy shook her head. “No, the board voted down the harder stuff last year. Too many Bigs complained about drooling Littles.” She knew her dad had been the deciding vote on that and despite their differences and tensions some days, she was always grateful for that at least. ‘Thanks, Dad…’ “Oh… that makes sense…” Wendy seemed lost in her own thoughts after that, almost as if she was reevaluating everything after learning about that single notion with Psyche. Meanwhile, Addy keeping her eyes fixated on Oliver, noticed that he was now stepping away from the playground entirely. “Excuse me…” Still lost in her own musings, Wendy barely made a notion to acknowledge her, and Addy was curious about her fellow nurse’s thoughts… but Oliver took the priority. Addy felt doubly so when she noticed him retreating away… almost looking panicked and scared for a moment as he darted behind a tree. Seeing that, Addy slowed her pace. Her side glance still focused on the other Littles as part of her job, but her mind and heart were firmly affixed to Oliver and trying to understand what was happening with him. Moving into the tree line, she finally found him… and her heart broke a little. There, sitting up against the tree, was Oliver… crying softly into his tightly curled in knees. Seeing that sight, she turned around and started to leave. Yes, she had a job to figure out her Little and what made him tick and make him healthy. As a nurse and an employee of Psyche New Beginnings, she was contracted to that much… but the underside of her… the Big longing for a Little or the part of her that liked baby ducks and chicks or the kind that ached when her mom died… all that told her to walk away. In Oliver, she saw grief unfolded in a second. It could have been the argument with Damien, sure, but Addy recalled the footage from yesterday’s outing with Oliver and his prospective Big… a playground as well. ‘What happened to you, Oliver…?’ But she knew it was going to be a question for another day. So, she turned away… and stepped on a twig, cleanly and loudly snapping it in two. “Who’s there?” Oliver demanded, shuffling to his feet and his face morphing into a frown. Addy sighed, knowing she had been caught. Instead of panicking though, she also knew, however, that she could still pull out of this and maybe gain more of his trust and discover a clue about his past. So, she slowly turned and stepped out from behind the tree she had been hiding behind. “Addy?” Oliver blinked a few times looking at his nurse now standing before him, his anger gone and something akin to almost shame or embarrassment taking its place. She nodded. “That’s right… I…” “You were spying on me, weren’t you?” he quickly asked, a tiny frown wrinkling his brow briefly. “I…” Addy knew she could lie… but she was also beginning to know Oliver more over here face-to-face now. He had a clouded past, but he also seemed to be a straight shooter. Truth and no lies, even if the truth hurt, seemed best when talking to him so far… like the other day when Addy admitted the peas were coated with a mild laxative for the digestive health of all the Littles. Despite her admittance to him, knowing the truth however, Oliver ate them anyways. “Yes,” she admitted at last. “I was, but I was also worried about you. I saw you running off after the argument between you and Damien, and I…” She saw Oliver’s macho façade recede ever so slightly. “I wanted to make sure you were okay…” She paused and almost didn’t go forward, but she also saw his vulnerability right at that moment. A tiny push could be just what he needed to open up to her. “So… are you?” Oliver stood there under the trees, dead leaves and needles rustling under his slightly rocking back and forth feet, looking back at Addy like a judge rendering his verdict. In this case, it seemed to be a matter of both pride and trust. “I… I’m fine…” It was a small admission. Even with his stumbles, it was just three words… but three words obviously crafted into a lie right to her face. Normally, she would be pissed. In this dimension and being a top rule of Psyche, Littles simply didn’t lie to Bigs… especially to their nurse who was only trying to help them. It happened, but it was always nipped in the bud as soon as possible. This time, though, Addy held that anger and resentment down. She had seen and talked with enough Littles by now to know the good from the bad. Littles like Damien and Xander were little shits… just as likely to hug your leg for their own purposes as they were to spit in your face if they could. Some Littles were neutral, yes, but just looking deep into the eyes of Oliver before her, she could see he was one of the good ones. Instead of lies and deception bent on hiding things from her or else he would get in trouble, this was more like a shield. A carefully honed armor built up over the years to protect either himself, or even more likely, her from whatever the actual truth was. Maybe if Oliver was regressed, she might have learned more… she might have pushed just a tiny touch more. But he wasn’t regressed. The simple fact was that Oliver was more or less apart from the other Littles right now. Not liking TV as much, not eating as many sweet treats, and no viable treatment plan laced with subtle drugs for suggestibility meant that he was very much behind the curve. So, when Addy looked back at him and saw no malice towards her and instead a vulnerable and protective Little, she didn’t push. It hurt something inside of her, but she knew the stakes. ‘I don’t matter here. Oliver matters and whatever he’s keeping from me, I need to let him have it… for now.’ She sighed and nodded her head. “That’s okay then. You tell me if you ever need or want to, but now… let’s go and rejoin the others.” Ensuring that Oliver wouldn’t go hiding again for safety reasons via a promise, Addy rejoined the other nurses, now seeing Penny back and Damien out from the bushes. She didn’t know what happened, but she knew the sign of old dried tears from afar when she saw them on a Little. Now, most Littles would learn a lesson. Eat a cookie and go in a time out and don’t do it again… at least until you forget the lesson. It was a sad occurrence with the more regressed Littles, especially those in their third month here, but it was a situation that each nurse was prepared for and would adjust their punishments of infractions accordingly. So, when a Little returned from whatever their punishment was, most would shy away from conflict. They wouldn’t gather their people again and go after the same exact person. But Damien wasn’t like most Littles. Seeing things from afar, Addy could already feel her gut wrench as she saw Damien stalk and come right up to Oliver, still remaining at the perimeter of the playground for whatever reason. Seeing the brewing confrontation once more between the two, Addy got up from the park bench she had been sitting on… only to find her wrist being held back. Looking back, she saw the nurse retraining her. “Let them play…” Penny said without a shred of irony or humor. Addy blinked back at her for a moment but then heard a single shout from the other side of the playground. Whipping around and seeing Oliver and Damien already shouting at each other, she jerked her hand away from Penny. “No, this is our job.” She looked to both Cassie and Wendy for support… but both almost seemed to shy away from the conflict. ‘Stupid interference policy…’ Almost grunting in annoyance, Addy glared back at Penny. “If you had done your job, then my Oliver wouldn’t be in this mess yet again!” Addy was normally a pretty reserved person, but seeing both the conflict with Oliver and Damien, Penny not doing anything about it, and her building resentment over Penny’s actions against her previous Littles… Addy let one tiny thing slip form her mouth she didn’t mean to. “Or maybe that’s your whole point…” Penny scrunched her brow and seemed confused. There was almost a flicker of fear for a second… but she quickly played it off and amped up her confusion instead. “And just what’s that supposed to mean?” Addy groaned and waved her off dismissively, trying to cover her own little slip up. She wasn’t prepared to confront Penny… yet. “Forget about it. If you’re not going to do anything about this… I will.” Not even waiting for permission, Addy nearly launched herself over to the growing crowd. As she neared though, it was immediately apparent to her that whatever shield that Oliver had built up and defended against Damien before… now seemed almost entirely absent. In fact, as she began to overhear more of the taunts being lashed out against her Little, she quickly saw the moistening tears already beginning to form on Oliver’s face. Her pace quickened. If this was a more public affair and Damien was just a normal Little, she would have blistered his backside. Against the law without cause now, but this was a second strike for Damien against her Little. He was clearly on the attack and Oliver now seemed to be defenseless. No judge would ever bring charges against her… and that was a comforting thought in a way, except for the fact that she was now fully confused why Oliver seemed so low now. ‘A few insults and he’s in tears?’ Addy felt thoroughly confused. At least until she heard what Damien was actually saying. “What a sissy little girl! I can’t believe how much you moan and cry at night!” Damien howled, only piling insult after insult at Oliver. “Shouting out for a ‘her’ even! Is she your mommy? Fuck!” The crowd joined with Damien in their peals of laughter. “Probably be in diapers soon! What a baby!” The bully then smirked and began to chant. “Ba-by! Ba-by! Ba-by!” To Addy’s horror, nearly every other Little began to join in as well, and Oliver only seemed to slip deeper under their taunts. She imagined, if he could, he would have preferred to have been swallowed up by the very ground right then. But Addy was a Big. Some days that could be a curse with a Little. They never would trust even the kindest of Bigs, but today, it meant that her legs were long and strong and before Damien could throw a single taunt more at Oliver, she raised her voice and boomed through the crowd. “Just what do you think you all are doing?” Scared at seeing an angry and possibly vengeful Big, several of the Littles scattered away, hiding behind trees, benches and bits of playground equipment, until only Damien remained. It was one thing to join a crowd with a bully… but an entirely other thing to keep your support of a doomed Little when a Big came in the picture. “He’s a coward and a weakling,” Damien said coldly, no sign of remorse anywhere on his face. “We pick on the smaller ones around here. Just would have expected him to be in diapers by now… It’s just a fact.” Addy’s rage burned white hot. If Psyche didn’t have a rule with other nurses interfering directly with other patient Littles, Damien likely would have been ash by now. But sadly, and maybe better for her own sake, Addy had to play by the rules. She would make sure to note this incident to both Dr. Halgen and the board for his record, and it might hurt him more than she would like, if she was being honest with herself, but even being a nurse who is supposed to care without bias against others… even she had her limits sometimes. Oliver, a quaking teary-eyed mess now, stood trembling before Damien. He seemed seconds away from collapsing to his knees and Addy could only look at the Little for a moment with concern and a thousand and one questions. ‘A former agent brought to tears… A regressed Little, yes. Normal behavior even, but Oliver… Oliver isn’t regressed… so why the tears over a few insults? Bad, yes, but… why do I feel like there’s something I’m still missing here?’ But one thing did click. ‘Hold on… maybe this is something from his past? And… dang it! Where or what is his trauma? What plagues his dreams? What am I missing?’ All questions bit at her mind like a mosquito demanding blood and pricking away at her heart for the source instead of merely her skin. It sickened her, but she was a Big and a nurse of Psyche New Beginnings. She didn’t have time right now for her own thoughts and feelings and questions. So, not even asking, she gently pulled Oliver back and right by her side as a sign of protection and comfort for him. Seeing that gesture, Damien looked at Oliver like an even smaller bug to be crushed now, but Addy saw it and the bully’s look as well. Glaring furiously at him, she nearly spat in his face. Only her maturity and job training stopped her… except to step closer and glare down at the impudent Little. “You will not touch, taunt, or mock Oliver again, understand?” Before Damien could taunt further, Addy stepped forward again with an even bolder step, now almost touching him and blocking out the light from overhead. “I know you, Damien. I know your kind. I know your type… and you always end up poorly in this world.” She looked around and sneered. “So, go ahead… enjoy your moment of power and glory today, Damien. No matter what… your days of lording over others are limited. Soon… you might just find yourself at the bottom of the totem pole and on that day, I just hope no one pays you half the evil you’ve been spreading around today. If they do even a fraction… I pity you.” Damien swallowed hard, his words suddenly leaving him. There was just something about a 9-foot tall Big threatening you with truth and facts about your fate in this world that could humble anyone. A contract plus this dimension for a Little was a guaranteed regression with Psyche, but his personality combined? Addy truly doubted he would last the five years as anywhere near a mature adult, even with their screening process now. After all… some Bigs are strict and when they are crossed, only doom awaits the poor Little under their thumb. And part of Addy hated herself when she used her being a Big over a Little. It felt dirty to her somehow, despite the natural order of things here, but… this was Damien and her priority was Oliver. To protect him… to enact vengeance on his behalf, not much seemed off the table. “So… do we understand each other?” Damien shuddered a little, his glance briefly passing over Oliver… seemingly likely for the last time in hate. But staring back up at Addy, he nodded and could only make out one pathetic word from his dry lips. “Y… yes…” Addy didn’t dare smile. Instead, she only nodded and pulled Oliver away. Damaged as he was from his night terrors being used against him in such a stern way, his thoughts seemed clouded and his spirit broken. It was the unspoken rule to not mock another Little… so Oliver had remained in bliss that his night troubles were his alone to experience and for only him and Addy to know about. Now, that illusion had been utterly and totally shattered, and for someone like Oliver… that cut him to the core. Of course, Addy knew that and could have used it as a bargaining chip to dig something out of Oliver… but she didn’t. She felt she was a better Big than that, even with all ego aside. Oliver was her charge and his well-being was her responsibility. So, instead, she just sat with him by the woods near the playground and watched over him like a mother hen whenever she faced Oliver, but a mighty hawk whenever she turned toward the others and caught one of them so much as snickering or whispering in their direction. In the end, after all that, Oliver could only make out a faint, “Thank you.” It was small and Addy wanted more, but for now, it was communication. He didn’t run away. He didn’t break off and he didn’t pull away from her tender touch when she protected him against Damien’s insults. It was slow, but it was progress. Addy, however, was also a tiny bit of a perfectionist. And she was satisfied with that outcome, even noting it in her daily logs to Dr. Halgen… but she wanted more. With the secret plan of changing Psyche still lingering about in the back of her mind, she knew Oliver was still an important piece in the game, and more, she also knew that pushing forward, Oliver would only be happier the more he gave into the program. She wanted him to be happy above all else… but here, there more things than purely the notion of happiness at Psyche and beyond. So, that afternoon, right as they got back, Addy made sure to call up her dad. Wanting to kill two birds with one stone, she knew asking him for advice would only strengthen their reignited bond, but she also knew his advice would be both practical and seasoned. Having dealt with Littles since the start of his career to some degree or another, he might know something about how to deal with Oliver with care rather than seeing every Little as a nail that needed to be hammered into regression. Being a board member, however, he also represented a risk, but as Addy looked in the Family Room and saw Oliver sitting alone with a book, seemingly still hurt over what had happened at the playground, her resolve only deepened. “Hello?” her dad responded on the other end of the phone after a few rings. “Peanut? Is that you breathing on the other end there?” Addy shook her head from her thoughts on Oliver’s isolation and sadness. “Yeah, yeah, it’s me. Sorry, Dad. Lot on my mind lately…” “Oh? Is this a check-in call for your old man… or is this more of the advice type like you used to do when you were in college and studying biochemistry?” Her dad always had a spooky insight and knowledge into almost always knowing what she was calling about. “Both,” she answered bluntly. “I want to talk to you more, and we can do that after, but Dad… I have a Little here…” She paused, not really sure what to tell him. “That’s your job, honey, so I figured, but…” He paused. “I’m guessing there’s something going on with them? A particularly difficult case maybe?” Addy sighed, relieved that she didn’t have to say that herself. “Yeah, Dad… He’s just… so distant… and yet so fragile. One minute, he’s a solid mature adult and the next… he’s shuddering in the corner after a bad dream.” “Hmmm…” Despite being miles away, Addy could swear she could see him stroking his chin right then. “You know… you just kind of sounded like your mom right there…” “Oh! Dad…” Addy blushed a little. Her dad was amazing, but her mom was someone she always aspired to be more like. A doctor by trade, she gave Juventas an edge in the medical world with her practical know-how. Founding Psyche New Beginnings, she had put her talents to good use. “Sorry, sorry…” he apologized though with a little good-humored chuckle thrown in as well. “You just sounded so much like her there for a minute. But you know… she had a lot of difficulty with her patients at first as well. Sounds a little like what you’re experiencing now.” “She did?” Addy was more focused on school when her mom had been neck-deep in Psyche and after she died, her dad never mentioned that time much either… even when she came to work here herself. “She did,” he confirmed. “Lots of new patients. We didn’t even have all the cures and treatments that we do now, but you should have seen the Littles back then, sweetie. With just one facility at the time, we had a ten-year waiting list at one point. One of the reasons we expanded to other locations, honestly, but yeah… Lots of problems with Littles like with what you’re describing…” Addy shifted to the edge of her seat. Her mom was a smart cookie and considering all that had happened since then, she no doubt had to be successful. “So… how did she get through it?” “Simple,” her dad noted plainly. “She put herself in their shoes. Got a ton of research on Earth. Remember… we might live in a paradise and Earth is going that way now, but then? War wounds, radiation sickness, malnutrition, addiction… you name it. She was treating the symptoms fine enough, but it took reaching deep and out to them for her to truly be successful…” “But how?” Addy pressed. Her dad took a deep breath. “You know… your brother had terrible dreams when he was younger. I think seeing one of the diseases hit half his school really got to him… but your mom and I stayed by his side until his nightmares passed. Slept in his room even to help him along too…” Addy blinked a few times. She knew about that with her brother vaguely, but it also had become one of those unmentionable topics around the house. “That’s really sweet, but… what does that have to do with Littles here?” “Addy…” Her dad took on his more serious tone, one he only reserved for lectures, board meetings, and vital pieces of information. “Your mom remembered that and did the same with her most problematic Littles… those that didn’t seem to trust anyone and yet seemed so hurt on the inside. Sometimes, even like us some days, a hurt Little just needs to know they aren’t alone in the world…” Addy chewed over that answer for a while after. Even when her dad bugged her about the ball coming up again. Even when he said “I love you” or soon after when he hung up… or even at dinner. Addy just couldn’t pull her thoughts away from her mom and her solution. Of course, Addy had dealt with problematic Littles before. It was part of the job, but Oliver… Oliver seemed to be a rare combination these days of several ailments, holdovers, bad memories, and trauma all at once. She was already failing his physical health… she didn’t want to fail him on the mental side of things either. So, that night, with Oliver still distant, Addy dug deep and did her best to channel her mom’s technique, thinking of all the ways she could approach him without being too overbearing. She wished more than anything that she could ask her mom for advice, but now, she was all alone. Building her courage up as much as she could, she entered his room and made sure he was good for the night before turning to him with the most understanding face she could. But right as she was about to give Oliver a ‘one way or another’ speech, he spoke up first instead. His little legs hung off his bed, and his shoulders were slouched down. Looking up though, he stared directly at Addy with his bright but sorrowful eyes. “Addy… about today…” Addy tried to wave him off… say it was no big deal, but Oliver was a little too prepared for her and stopped her instead. “No… let me finish.” He took a big breath and let it out, his shoulders easing off the tension they had been carrying. “Do you know what I did? I mean… as my job before all this?” Addy recalled back to purely what she remembered when she had first read his file, his occupation being heavily redacted in his current file. “Yes… I believe so. An undercover agent, right?” Oliver seemed surprised she knew that but still nodded his head. “Yeah… that’s right. But in that type of work… you learn to trust slowly and very few people. I learned that lesson the hard way.” He then pointed to his right rear thigh. “First person I trusted on the job while undercover… later shot me right in the back of my thigh.” Addy was purely only taking in the information at this point and stared back at Oliver, letting him drive the conversation. She looked for signs that he wanted her to speak, but seeing none, she was honestly a little relieved. If he had wanted her to say something, she felt stumped with what she would have. “You go through something like that… it makes it hard to trust people…” He looked down at his feet and stayed silent afterward. This time, Addy picked up on the cue of his silence and pensive look to speak up. “I can only imagine…” In truth, she could imagine. While she was never shot, she always had placed her trust in Juventas… in Psyche… in her fellow nurses. Now, it seemed both Juventas and Psyche were dirty to some degree, and she knew without hesitation that at minimum Penny was guilty… a traitor to them all, and most importantly to Addy… to her own Littles last time. The fact that Cara was still coming in and struggling with a long road ahead of her from that betrayal by Penny only added to her internal rage. “It’s tough…” Oliver finally said at last, letting out a deep breath of regret and pain. “I came here because it was this place or death for me. Being the type of guy that I am… I didn’t want to just lay down and die when I had this one option open to me… no matter how crazy it was…” Addy stared back at her Little. She felt certain he was moments away from cracking. He was still guarded, but there seemed to almost be an openness about him tonight… something that felt like the proverbial hiss of a balloon finally deflating and letting out its air. “And… no offense, but Bigs… you all scare the crap out of me.” There was no hesitation in his statement… no lies. It hurt Addy a little, but she understood, and regardless, he quickly continued. “But death or being afraid… I chose to be afraid. But when I got here… I regretted my decision…” Addy had heard that line before. The contract was iron clad… something her mom had made special care to specifically word. In her own words, the contract became like a sedative to a seizure. You didn’t like it, but without it, you could only hurt yourself or others in the long term. Without the contract, half the Littles would flee into an unknown world they would believe they could handle. In truth though, most if not all the Littles who fled would be secretly butchered and hypnotized within the week. “It’s a tough thing to sign over…” Addy confessed, feeling transparency with Oliver was the best course of action for her now. “But you shouldn’t feel bad about signing it. Lots of people do and nearly everyone who did is alive today because of it.” She was firm in her statement to Oliver; a carefully crafted statement she had said dozens of times by now. But inside? ‘Nearly all alive… except Mindy…’ “Thank you for saying that, but… even with most everyone being kind to me, I still felt like I could trust anyone here,” he noted, his stare still pensive and drawn out. “But today… you… you…” Her Little was now struggling with his words. Whatever small part of Oliver that had been triggered today, even if it was a minor thing to her, clearly was a big deal to him. “I stepped in,” she finished for him. Oliver nodded. “You did, and…” He sighed. “That means a lot to me. You didn’t have to do that. I saw the other nurses and I overheard how you all can’t intervene in other nurse’s Littles most of the time, but… you helped me. You bent the rules and got me out of there… when I couldn’t do it myself…” Addy wanted to say something… to hug him to bits and that she would always be there for him. It would feel so right and wonderful… but probably only to her. Oliver was being vulnerable and she could already see him peel off a piece of his armor for her. Interrupting now would make him stop… so she stayed quiet. “So… I want to give you my trust in return…” He breathed in heavily, something clearly weighing on his mind. “I know you know about my nightmares. Now, everyone seems to know, but you know more than most and you’ve been there for me… and you were there for me today.” He took another breath. “Back on Earth, I would just drink or drug my problems away. It worked… but it wasn’t a solution. Here, my dreams are back, and after today… I want to tell you something…” Addy leaned in unconsciously, her internal drive working overtime to know more about her Little. “On one of my assignments… I can’t tell you much, but…” He paused and sniffed deeply, apparently the words alone enough to cause him to quiver. “I… I lost someone… someone who was close to me on that job. They… they died right in front of me…” Oliver was silent for a moment, and a pin could have been heard drop from the other side of the facility if it was this quiet all over. But it didn’t last long. Less than ten seconds later, Oliver, still quaking, began to softly cry. He tried to wrap his arms around himself, but it didn’t seem to do any good. Meanwhile, Addy just stood there, in awe and horror over what she was witnessing. ‘Finally. One piece of a large puzzle is now in place. It’s not everything, and it can wait, but the loss of someone… I know about that… I know how much it can hurt… how much it can linger…’ So, as Addy looked on her Little, she could only feel sympathy… something deep and moving within her. An understanding of sorts that she wouldn’t wish on anybody. Still faced with an emotional Little trying to be as mature as possible, she merely sat down on his bed and placed one hand on his shoulder, giving it a few pats. It hurt her deeply not to do more, but with Oliver, she knew without a doubt that he would have to come to her. After a moment, Oliver didn’t hug her back or even nestled onto her side. He simply grabbed her hand tight, like a drowning man would latch onto a buoy. It was small… so small that other Bigs might have laughed at the ridiculousness of another Big nurse holding back her affection and the Little trying to cling so desperately to his machismo and pride, but for Addy… she knew it was a step in the right direction. Small, but prominent between the two of them. Simply put, without prompt, Oliver had taken a step tonight toward opening to her. And what’s more, when she showed affection toward him, however small, he returned it in his own way. And maybe because of that and not wanting another night of heartbreak… her seeing her Little cry out in pain and Oliver seeing his partner died in his deadly dreams… she knew what she had to do. So, letting Oliver just sit on the bed in silence for a moment, Addy punched a small code into her watch. Rarely used but always known to her, a few minutes later, she heard a knock at the door. Poor Oliver nearly jumped out of his skin. This time, Addy held him tight and patted his back. “It’s okay, it’s okay… I promise.” She then stood up and made her way over to his door. “It’s just something I want to insist on.” Oliver leaned around her and looked cautiously and suspiciously at the door, his eyes fixed and calculating… until he looked back at Addy. “Which is?” Addy sighed and knew she was at yet another ‘make or break’ moment. “Oliver… your night terrors… they need to stop. I have an idea. Something small… no effort on your end. Just… a monitor of sorts…” Oliver didn’t seem to like the idea… but didn’t say no either. “And that is?” Addy took a deep breath. “Me, Oliver. I want to stay here tonight.” Oliver looked like he was about to object, but Addy quickly jumped back in. “Outside is a chair for me to sleep in. It just sits in the corner, and if you have a problem tonight, I can help you quickly. If you don’t, I can go away and that will be the end of it, okay?” Oliver, with sleep already hitting him hard and the day long and mentally exhausting, only nodded his head after a moment. There were still some clear signs of hesitation and frustration written on his face… maybe even anger on his part, but it wasn’t an outright no. So, holding onto that tiny little sliver of hope, Addy opened his door and one of the helpers brought the chair in. She hadn’t mentioned that it was a rocking chair, but still without a clear objection from Oliver, she could feel yet another weight off her shoulders tonight. Which is how, ten minutes later, with Oliver all prepped for the night, Addy discreetly popped in a pair of earbuds designed to specifically block subliminal and hypnotic sounds and turned on the Lighthouse before turning off the overhead light. Sitting down, she smiled as warmly as she could to Oliver… already seemingly drifting off under his soft and warm covers. “Goodnight, Oliver.” It took a second, but after he turned away from the Lighthouse, a single near whisper could be heard back. “Goodnight, Addy…” Breathing out, Addy reclined in her rocking chair, put her feet up on the matching rocking footrest it came with, and draped a blanket over herself. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but in a terrible way and on some level, she was at least somewhat happy with how today went. Not perfect and hard on Oliver, but it was the little crack she had been looking for between them. Never wanting to go that way, Oliver was the sort of Little with a deep past and a hard outer shell. Around here, that could spell disaster in the long run. After today though, while still sick and dying, Oliver had at least shown a willingness to play along here… knowingly or not. He had accepted her help and opened up to her with a small amount of trust. They had a long way to go still, but as Addy shut her eyes, she couldn’t help but let a tiny smile etch across her weary face.

Hey everyone... I really hate to do this, but after I hiked 10 miles yesterday, I had every intent of posting the next chapter here today when I found the time and energy. Unfortunately, I sliced my finger. Took forever for it to be okay, which partially delayed me, but I'm finding it's now playing absolute havoc with my typing. As such, I will try to attack and finish the next chapter, but I'm just not sure when it will be done at this point. So, again, sorry for the delay and I just keep a watch out for when the next chapter posts... hopefully at some point between now and Sunday...

Hey everyone! Nothing much to update today. Sorry for not posting yesterday. Too much to do and so little sleep. I knew this chapter needed some special attention, so I didn’t want to push it and fumble in the end. Things are now going to start amping up though, so keep tuned to see what happens next. So now, last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 4: Your Treatment… Hopefully “Okay, Mindy,” Bruce said in his usual sweet manor, the stubble of his attempted beard growing in now, but his rounded cheeks giving him a more youthful and innocent appearance still. “Are you ready for your first treatment today?” Mindy looked at the bags next to her that contained the cure for her stage 4 brain cancer, something that was getting worse every day still. With Franklin already having received his first treatment earlier, free to focus on her other little, Addy looked at her charge and was just grateful that she had got her in today in the nick of time. Simply put… she wasn’t getting worse and fast. The other day, the tumor in her brain growing, Mindy had hallucinated her father and… well, she wasn’t entirely sure of the details, but Addy knew a bad relationship when she saw one. Already weak, the poor Little shook a while from her nerves and the pure mental and physical exhaustion that came with such an event. A few of the crueler Littles mocked her, but Addy made sure to shield Mindy from those sorts of things lately. She wasn’t sure yet, but a tiny feeling in heart was growing. In essence: she was almost certain by now that she had found her Little. Of course, all that was a way off still, new potential caregivers on their way from her to all choose from, but all their time together was just marked with more success and a closer bond than she had experienced yet with any other Little before. Speaking to her dad and a few of her friends, everyone could see that Addy was absolutely smitten with the diminutive Little under her care. And what’s more? Mindy showed the same affection back. So, it was no surprise that after looking at the strangely colored liquid in the IV bags getting ready to be hooked up to her arm, she looked pleadingly up at Addy. “Do… do I have to?” Her little voice, still racked with the exhaustion of late-stage cancer, nearly wanted to tear Addy’s heart in two. Recognizing her fear, Addy crouched down and petted her Little’s hand. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s just a needle. In fact… we might just set up a central line for you for your meds specifically, so we don’t have to prick you again.” “Won’t my existing line be enough?” Mindy asked, looking down at the IV constantly attached to her arm already, it standing out sharply with the way that other Littles had decorated it. Both Bigs and Littles alike favored the monkey hanging from the top of the pole the best. Addy shook her head sadly. “I’m afraid not, baby. This requires special medicine, and our IV needles for this cure are embedded with sensors to continually monitor your progress as the drugs enter your bloodstream. So… just one little prick and…” Bruce, proving to be excellent at his job down here already, used a butterfly IV, and with Mindy distracted, she only realized she was being pricked by the time it was all over. “Hey! I was…” Seeing the needle inserted already and not having felt any pain aside from maybe a tiny pinch from Bruce’s expert hands, she chuckled. “It’s in! I barely felt it!” Addy smiled and stroker her shoulder. “Of course, honey. Bruce is very good at his job. Maybe after you can even give him a hug.” Mindy quickly nodded her head, and with Addy stroking her hand the whole time, the Little soon drifted into a peaceful rest. Addy nodding to Bruce, he then started the medicine, the green liquid traveling slowly down and entering her IV. Boasted as a miracle drug when it was first introduced, Earth was aching to get their hands on it. Being temperamental and a possible gateway to other problematic forms of medicine though… the Libertalian government prevented its export… hence Mindy coming here. Resting peacefully in her chair, Mindy was acting just like the others… happy and calm and nearly falling asleep… until she wasn’t. Her brow furrowed. She winced a few times, and she then began to thrash around before her eyes shot open, full of panic and pain. “Ow! Ow! Ow! It’s… it’s burning me!” She sat upright and pointed at her arm. “Burning… you?” Bruce questioned her skeptically. “I’ve never heard of that reaction before. Maybe there’s a problem with the needle or…” He trailed off, clearly trying not to panic and just to figure out what was going wrong. Addy though, looked at her Little… and began to notice several symptoms… symptoms she had memorized from her mom as signs of only a handful of problems. Acting as failsafe of sorts, Juventas drugs were basically made with a built-in alarm if there was ever a problem before any interaction could get really bad. “Shoot… I can’t remember.” Addy’s panic was beginning to rise, and she scratched her head and pulled her hair in a vain attempt to remember faster. “Was burning a sign of organ failure? Allergy? Intolerance to the drug? Or…” Addy’s eyes opened wide and she snapped to Bruce. “Bruce! Hurry! Top cabinet! Now! Go! I know what’s wrong with her!” Dutifully racing off, Addy looked down at her Little… now wincing and shivering, her body breaking out into sweats to top it off. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck! Please don’t be too late… please…’ Bruce ran back over and held out about a two-foot-long rectangular plastic package. Curiously, it was nearly the same shape and packaging as a chocolate ice cream bar, but inside, Addy knew the item was very different. “Is this it?” Addy snatched it away from his hands and nodded. “Failsafe protocol. There should always be at least five on premise.” She ripped the package open with her teeth, a casual glance at the expiration date giving her the green light. Wincing, she then turned back to Mindy. “Sorry, baby… it’s this or…” She didn’t finish her thought, only seeing Mindy nod her head in abject terror. But, with her consent and taking a breath, Addy aimed and brought the needle right down into Mindy’s chest. In a second, the Little surged around, almost like she was having a seizure. Panicking, Bruce held her down with Addy, tears now in her eyes that she had done something seriously wrong. Fortunately, for the both of them, Mindy soon stopped and took a deep breath. Coughing several times, she finally seemed better after a few pats followed by a few rubs by Addy on her back. “Th… thanks, Addy…” Addy sighed and nodded. As Mindy drifted a little, her Little was safe and sound, but there was now a much bigger problem they had to deal with. Unfortunately, Bruce’s curiosity got the better of him before Addy could figure out an easy lie to keep everyone calm and hopeful still. “What… what was that?” “Bruce…” Addy said delicately. “If you’ll just allow me to explain… I can go get that new doctor… Dr. Halgen to better explain some of the more…” “No,” Mindy said defiantly, seeming to perk back up. “Truth now. I… I was so scared… Addy… please… what was that?” Never being able to refuse a request like that from any of her Littles before, Addy didn’t break that tradition today. She sighed and turned over the plastic rapper that once held the needle and pointed to the few problems outlined on the back… her finger finally stopping on one in particular, her eyes full of tears: Little rejection of treatment. Mindy and Bruce both blinked helplessly at the large warning label on the back. Clearly, both weren’t expecting that kind of reaction. “Wait…” Mindy said, her eyes growing wide as her brain finally seemed to figure out what was happening to her. “My treatment… so, it didn’t work…” So distant. So sad. It was the sound of the notion of what that meant. For all Littles coming here, despite most of them not reading at least 70% of the contract they signed, one section always stood out to each and every one… upon inclusion, a cure is never a guarantee. “No… it didn’t…” Addy confirmed, already seeing the tears in her Little’s eyes. Neither of them needed to say it, but it was understood by both; it was a slink and slimy serpent that pecked at everyone whoever came to Psyche. Rare enough indeed, the past years had gotten better, but it was the outcome everyone dreaded fully here. Three small words but a said reality that always seemed to be fulfilled. Failure means death. * * * “No!” Addy shot from her bed, her heart beating fast at the reminder of that terrible day. While they both had milkshakes after to mourn the failure of that first attempt at treatment and most of the day had been good before as well… it was the first day that spelled trouble with Mindy. After that… most things just seemed to go wrong. In essence, it was the first painting of the word ‘doom’ across her forehead. Addy had just refused to believe… at least until it was too late. As she scanned her room once more, it was now the next day, and the sun was just starting to creep into her window. After several nights of little sleep, Oliver seemed to have finally settled in his new home and in the week since he had got here, he only had four pure night terrors, two of which were his first two days. Now, he hadn’t had one in three days… something Addy was most grateful for. If not for Oliver himself, for the others who were trying to sleep as well. Plus, she knew he would need that strength today. While certain candidates in the program here had already gone and started their healing process, Oliver had been delayed. Part of it was a lottery of sorts and part of it was due to the lack of severity right now of Katrina’s ailment… at least compared to the others. For them, their treatments took time to rebuild their bodies, synapses, or even outright lung tissue. It was one of the reasons that Patrick was one of the first to go in that batch; regrowing new connective nerve tissue was possible… just time consuming. Even then, well into his third month, he was still having difficulty walking without assistance. Cancer though… bone and skin, as severe as they could be, were entirely treatable. In fact, for some rare cases where patients took to the treatment extraordinarily well, they were nearly cured even before their third and final month here. Katrina would probably be that way. Oliver… not so much. But today being the first day for her Littles’ treatment, Addy could feel her nerves grow and ache in both excitement and fear over today. Ever since Mindy rejected her treatment that one fateful day, treatment day always played havoc with her nerves. It was supposed to be a joyous day, and she had talked to several people by now, and the nurse inside her knew that everything was almost always okay… but her care for her Littles always seemed to override her usual medical knowledge and logic. For her, each new Little on treatment day represented another possibility of failure… another Mindy. Still, shaking her head from those kinds of notions, she had one other factor on her mind today; Cara was coming for the first time. While she should have come the day after they had last met and Addy had evaluated her, it had been one problem after another. First, Patrick had come home with a nasty cough from the daycare… something unavoidable even here. Quick to cure, but it was the first delay. Next, Sam and Lloyd had already planned an outing for the family over the weekend, and with Addy knowing just how precious and formulative those memories and events were for new families… had relented and let them go. Expecting to see them yesterday… according to Sam, Cara instead had one of her bad days. One blown out diaper right after breakfast, she had cried, had a tantrum when she couldn’t hold her fork properly, and became too exhausted after all that to make the trip up here before nap time. So, when Addy shuffled off her morning sleepiness, the sunlight just barely pouring in, she knew she had to check a few things first to ensure everything would go okay when she finally did get here. Now, the one advantage of Cara being delayed here was that it gave ample time for Addy to prepare the rest of the staff and her own Littles. While Oliver seemed less than enthusiastic by a regressed Little coming here, Katrina came right on board. Addy might have questioned that notion further, but with her lack of options, just thanked her deeply instead… and maybe might have thrown in an extra cookie after dinner for good measure. Some days, she just couldn’t help herself. “Katrina… Oliver… this is Cara…” Addy finally announced after Sam had frettingly dropped her off a little later, handing off her diaper bag with trembling fingers. Addy had assured her and sent her off, but she did hold her breath a little as she watched her two new Littles approach one of her previous Littles. Of course, all this was a huge risk for the program… for the Littles… for Addy. As Dr. Halgen stated, Cara was a preview of what could happen to them. One of the reasons for smaller groups here at least was to ensure that there couldn’t be overwhelming evidence to a Little to see their potential regression. It’s also why they only kept three groups in a location at a time. A handful of regressed or regressing Littles could be passed off as coincidence. Maybe a fluke of nature at worst… but a Little seeing scores of regressed Littles in the same location? Suspcion and disaster around every corner. Outcomes would be fretted over and any action from a Big, no matter how minor, would be viewed as an act of terror. There would be no trust… no progress. The program would collapse. Addy though, had already anticipated that. Quoting “The machine gives us our answer” over and over again to others, it was highly experimental… and would be their scapegoat. In truth, Cara was an anomaly… she was coming here after all because of that, but that wasn’t all. Looking deeper, the degree of that change would be stretched a little bit, but for anyone questioning if they would end up like her, something Oliver did multiple times, Addy just assured him and everyone else that “The machine is gone and won’t be coming back, so don’t worry at all.” Truth… just not all of it. Now though, Addy saw Katrina’s and Oliver’s faces of fear as they looked on at the new Little of the house. A finished product of the program, she was a risk, and her thick diaper and bulging overalls didn’t help the image she now presented… but Addy prompted Cara forward a little. “Now you two… she might be a little shy, but… could one of you show her around? Maybe introduce her to some of the others?” Oliver didn’t budge, but free and mobile as she was, Katrina smiled and came over, extending her hand out graciously. “Come on, Cara. You can come with me. I’m sure there’s lots we can have fun with and talk about.” Cara snapped her head up to Addy… clearly looking for a sign of approval or a notion that Katrina could be trusted. It was another sign of the machine’s work on her, but Addy, seeing this, smiled and pushed the nervous Little forward with her new potential friend. Not wasting a second, and with Addy’s further push, Katrina pulled her through to the family room. Meanwhile, Oliver barely budged an inch. Addy saw and sighed. “Oliver… can you do me a favor?” She knew his type and she knew she had to tackle him another way. She knew if she was successful, her plan could help him out, but it would also give him responsibility in the house now. For him, that would give him a mature feeling he could cling onto… something he wouldn’t be willing to give up without a fight. It would hopefully lighten his mood, oversee both Katrina and Cara, and give her another way she could crack open his still-tough exterior shell. If it worked, she didn’t see a downside. “As long as it doesn’t involve tea parties…” he said grimly, likely recalling the other day when some of the younger Littles had requested his presence for teatime out of the blue. He declined, of course, but it had clearly stuck with him. “No, no,” Addy reassured him, cracking a little smile though not entirely sure if she could make that promise with the two of them. “I just want you to keep an eye out for Cara and Katrina. I mean, you’ve seen Katrina around here…” Yes, it was throwing Katrina a little under the proverbial want-to-be-a-Little bus, but something deep down told Addy that Katrina would be perfectly okay with that sort of insinuation. “And Cara… she’s going to need our help. I might get some of the other Littles to play with her and keep her moving, but… I need a supervisor for all of them. Is that something you would be interested in?” Little life in the Psyche facility was filled with group therapy, now healing treatments, outings with prospective caregivers, and little day trips around the area, with the occasional party thrown in for a holiday or birthday. Otherwise, it was purely down to the entertainment around here and being a place mainly for Littles… unregressed Littles could find themselves quickly bored… at least in their beginning stages. So, it was no surprise to Addy when Oliver nearly lit up over the prospect of finally getting something to do as well as a little responsibility. “Yes! I…” He stopped and seemed to recollect himself, ever the pillar of quiet dignity around here… a vestige Addy was curious if it would stay or leave by the end of his time here. “Yes… yes, I can keep an eye on them. You can count on me. Promise!” Addy forced the giggle she wanted to express so badly as far down as she could. Oliver had agreed, but she had seen where a giggle from her now could ruin everything. So, instead she politely nodded. “Thank you, Oliver. Just keep them safe and… out of trouble.” Nodding with a smile threatening to jump out from behind his built-up armor… Oliver left promptly toward the noise of already increasing giggles in the other room. “Phew!” Addy exhaled a large breath as soon as Oliver was out of sight. “That was close…” “She’s a risk you know…” Dr. Tracey said from behind Addy, nearly scaring her out of her skin. “Shit!” Addy almost hopped away and looked back at the new doctor of the facility… a healthy level of distrust already gravitating around her. “Announce yourself or something next time, will you?” Dr. Tracey smiled, but it seemed crooked… uncomfortable even, like she wasn’t used to putting on that front. “Of course… but you know she’s a risk here. Goes against our protocols…” Addy had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. ‘As if I don’t know the protocols here…’ Her mom wrote them after all… “I know the protocols,” she said as matter-of-factly as she could. “But Cara was a former patient here. I assume you know what happened?” “Yes… Briney Crandle, a brilliant but ultimately faulty member of Juventas subjected her and at least two others into the machine.” It’s just a word, but with how Dr. Tracey said, ‘the machine,’ there almost seemed to be a speck of pride laced within her words. “She and the other two were regressed. And… she was punished for her crimes.” She paused and nearly seemed to eye up Addy as she was taunting her directly. “Am I missing anything?” Seeing her stance, Addy glared back at her. “No… just that she was my Little… the responsibility of this facility and this company. We owe her…” Dr. Tracey didn’t seem to be amused by that answer. “Our duty is to our shareholders… and the Bigs that take this healed Littles home.” This time, it was Addy who was unamused. In fact, considering why her mom founded this place originally, it was nearly horrifying to her very core to hear that notion out loud. Still… she sadly wasn’t surprised, based on her resume alone. “That’s one aspect, yes,” Addy noted, remembering to be a little political from her dad’s lessons with people like this. “But Cara has been struggling since she went home. Sam, her Big and mommy now, is highly frustrated and feels that I can make her life easier.” Addy made sure not to mention which life she was talking about making easier… Big or Little. “Her mo…” Dr. Tracey’s face seemed to shift and Addy’s little ploy in bringing in the concerns of a Big seemed to work. “She’s not happy? That’s not good… is she wanting a refund or another Litt…?” “No.” Addy made sure to shut that notion down on the spot. “She just wants help with Cara… something I can actually do here. It’s in her contract after all…” Despite her near pathological need to appease other Bigs, Dr. Tracey looked at her skeptically. “Paragraph three if I remember correctly?” Addy knew her justification was in the contract… just not the specific location. “Psyche New Beginnings will make every effort to ensure the happiness of the both the Little and the Big in their agreed on five-year term together.” Ripped straight from the manual, despite her objections, Dr. Tracey was powerless now to object to Cara anymore… and she knew it. Seeming to bite down on her teeth and straining her language, she nodded at first. “Very well…” Beginning to understand her enemy here, those words seemed poised to nearly kill the new doctor… something Addy had to try very hard not to smile at. Finally seeing Dr. Tracey leave with a little huff, Addy looked on discretely to Oliver, Katrina, and Cara. While the bitter temperatures were keeping everyone indoors today for a scheduled outdoor time, she could see Katrina caring for Cara as best she could. A hand to help her walk… a grip to keep a story book upright… or even sounding out the words in the book they were reading itself… several of the younger Littles now looking in on them and listening in as well. It was the quite the scene. Shifting her eyes over though, Addy quickly saw Oliver looking over them all, his face fixated… but somehow interested in the book as well. Being a week in, Addy knew that the subtle drugs and hypnosis on TV were effective, but it was always a little fun to see the first signs of change in a Little. For Addy, she knew it would lead to loss, but for her, it was something more… it was them finally giving up their notions of shame or embarrassment for liking something meant for kids or younger. It was still small in Oliver… but she saw it bubbling just under the surface. The day continued along much like that. Katrina would guide Cara around and Oliver would watch the two like some proverbial hawk in the corner, ready to pounce at the nearest danger or problem he spotted. Of course, being the good hands-on nurse that she was, Addy would step in when she needed to… like for a quick diaper change or to intervene with one of the second month’s bullying Littles, but she mostly observed. For now, she needed to see if Cara was simply atrophying from being alone… or if she was truly having physical and mental problems in her life from the machine. After lunch though, when she nearly coated her face in mushy peas and didn’t care for a moment until it was pointed out to her, however, Addy felt it was the latter. But with the time ticking on, Addy soon placed Cara down for a nice long nap, her body not used to the exertion of unregressed Littles anymore. So, one diaper change and bottle in her temporary crib later, Cara was tucked in and softly snoring. Happy, Addy came back downstairs to look for her Littles. Finding Katrina first, she quickly ushered her into the healing pod where Bruce was calmly waiting. Honestly, seeing the two react, it was almost like witnessing Katrina going to a hair appointment… rather than a procedure to cure her bone cancer. While Addy might have raised an eyebrow, as soon as Katrina was evaluated and then zapped inside a machine to target her cancer cells and was fine, she could only feel relief. ‘One Little down… another one to go, but… where is that rascal? Where is Oliver?’ Ensuring Katrina was okay after her first batch of treatment, Addy went to go find Oliver as Cassie and Robin came in for their appointment next. It took a second, but finally, she found him aimlessly staring outside one of the bay windows and out into the ocean beyond the cliff the facility was posed on. “Quite a view, huh?” Oliver jumped in his wheelchair a little, but seeing it was just Addy, nodded his head calmly. “Yeah… I found it helps me think…” Addy smirked. “Same with me.” Oliver smiled, but it soon faded as he turned back to the ocean. Addy saw it right away, and she knew almost instantly what was going on with him. Despite Oliver’s progress at night… her monitor did show he was still having bad dreams… just more of the quiet variety. She nearly intervened of course, but when he settled down, she stayed put… not wanting to embarrass him at this critical stage of development here between the two of them. Still today, she wanted to push him just a little bit. “Oliver… you know, I know you’re still having bad dreams at night…” She wanted to figure him out so bad and crack him open to get him help… but she knew with experience that would just send him running for the hills. Not even turning, his brow furrowed slightly and reflected off the glass. “I don’t need your help…” Addy sighed. ‘Definitely the type who just wants to shoulder the weight of the world all on his own…’ She knew that type of Little and sadly, to expect a long road ahead with them. Still ruled by his head, she also knew she had to go about this another way… something that seemed like it was rapidly becoming a pattern with him. “You know… if you don’t let it out, you’re not going to get better, and you do need your sleep. Being a Little around here without sleep never goes well. Something always happens…” The Little stuck firm… but after a moment of the idea likely rattling around in his head, then started to turn back toward Addy, his eyes full of dread and yet curiosity. “Happens?” Oliver questioned. “What always happens?” Addy smiled softly, seeing the same curiosity of the tiny trap she laid out for him. On a clinical level, she knew holding things inside was never a good thing… but she also knew that she was dealing with a stubborn and prideful Little. A tiny white lie might be just what was needed. “Oh… this and that. It’s nothing really…” Now, Addy was just testing him… see how far he would take his curiosity in this moment. “No… tell me.” Not wasting a moment, he seemed insistent… even doubling down when he took Addy’s hand unexpectedly right after. “Please… tell me.” Right then, Addy could see that behind his curiosity was fear. She had seen it before… but not on Oliver unless it was right after one of his night terrors. Seeing it now got her head ticking a bit but quickly filed it away for later. “It’s just that… Littles tend to have more problems… the kind you hear about on the news when they hold back. Creates issues for them here… I don’t know why…” Oliver’s eyes widened and Addy felt a pang of regret in her heart over what she had just told him. It was a white lie. Not huge because yes, Littles were vulnerable to regression when they held things back… it’s just that it usually dealt with conservative Littles not liking that type of Little and changing them to fit their wants and needs. Or… a Little could lash out from unresolved trauma and get regressed that way. Addy didn’t like telling her Littles those types of lies, but in this case… she also had a plan and knew she had to worm her way a little to get there. “But you know… I might just have a solution… if you’re willing that is…” Oliver looked down at his feet, seemingly contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Once he looked up though, he only silently nodded his head. Passed the second gate now, Addy knew she had to sell what was next… for his sake if nothing else. “It’s called the Lighthouse. Special design… it’s the latest in sleep technology. I won’t bore you with the details, but… it essentially let’s out like white or brown noise and allows you to sleep better.” She let that notion sit for a second. “So… what do you think? If you don’t want to share, that’s fine, but… a good night’s sleep might be nice to have, right?” The gears in Oliver’s head were clearly spinning, and that wasn’t a shock. Littles being offered technology was always the first step in their demise nearly every single time. It was the bait on the hook they would swallow… not knowing it was their doom until they were plucked out of their comforting environment and into the waiting arms of a Big. Still, much to Addy’s relief, Oliver nodded at last. “I’m in.” Addy nodded. “Perfect. I’ll put it in tonight.” Addy would do that, but she also knew she needed to fill out the appropriate paperwork and maybe even get the broken one they had stored in the basement. Still powerful as a sleep aid, the usual hypnotics laced into its function were pretty busted. With Dr. Tracey around… she didn’t want to take the risk of her popping on a functioning machine all the way. ‘Gotta make sure Dr. Halgen knows too… just as another pair of eyes on the device at least. Whatever he went through or even did, Oliver deserves that much…’ Checking her watch, she saw enough time had passed that Cassie and Robin would be done now. So, sighing, she got up and looked down at Oliver. “Now… are you ready to get healed today?” Oliver looked nervous, but nodding his head, quickly headed out and down to meet Bruce. “Okay, Oliver,” Bruce said in his usual sweet manor, his current beard now full and giving him ‘Daddy’ vibes all around… or at least as was noted by a Little apparently in the last batch. ‘Geesh… what was up with that batch?’ Addy shrugged and turned down to Oliver, the Little nervously twiddling his thumbs while Bruce put back some of the monitoring devices that confirmed that Oliver did indeed have stage 4 skin cancer… now imbedded in his stomach, skin, and tiny spots in his brain. “Alrighty then… are you ready for your first treatment today?” Oliver looked at the bags next to him that Bruce just hung up that contained the cure for his stage 4 skin cancer, something that he seemed to try and ‘power through’ but was also clearly putting a strain on him. With Katrina already having received her first treatment earlier, free to focus on her other little, Addy looked at her charge and noticed his pale skin. Inside, she was just grateful that they had got to him today rather than wait any longer. Already weak, though trying to hide it as much as possible, Addy nearly had to intervene several times lately to help him through his routines. This morning, she almost helped him to the bathroom… at least before he shooed her away. If she was being honest with herself though, as she looked down on him, while she didn’t feel as strong of a bond with him that she did with other Littles, especially after a week here, there was still something about him that seemed to draw her in further, nonetheless. Oliver however, barely showed any recognition of her, chasing her off anytime she offered to help… at least beyond his night terrors. So, it was a little bit of a surprise that after looking at the strangely colored liquid in the IV bags getting ready to be hooked up to his arm, he looked pleadingly up at Addy. “Do… do I have to ingest this green sh… stuff?” His voice, usually so confident, now seemed faint, on the verge of cracking even. For Addy, she heard that little weakness and maybe for the first time during the day with Oliver, it nearly tore her heart in two. Recognizing the same look of fear from his night terrors, Addy crouched down and grasped his hand. “It’s okay. It’s just some medicine. In fact… I think Bruce is going to set up a central line for you for your meds specifically, so we don’t have to prick you again. And the medicine has been used on so many Littles over the years. I promise, you’ll be fine.” The fear still lingered in the back of her mind about what happened with Mindy… but outwardly, Addy knew she had to stay strong. “Do I really need one?” Oliver asked, looking down at his surprisingly clear arm. In this place, not already having a central line was unusual, but Addy had just chalked it up either previously having given up or that Oliver had stopped treatment a while before he got here. With his redacted file, it was hard to know which. Addy nodded her head sadly, always hating to add yet another burden to a Little’s life. “I’m afraid so. This treatment requires special medicine, and our IV needles for this cure are embedded with sensors to continually monitor your progress as the drugs enter your bloodstream. So… just one little prick and…” Bruce, his excellence attuned even greater over the years, used a butterfly IV, and with Oliver looking away, he only realized he was being pricked by the time it was all over. “Hey! I was…” Seeing the needle inserted already and not having felt any pain aside from maybe a tiny pinch from Bruce’s expert hands, he shook his head. “Damn! Didn’t even feel that sucker. I…” Almost like putting over a cloak of gruff manliness, Oliver glared back at Bruce. “Just tell me next time, okay? I’m not a baby who needs to be tricked…” Addy smiled at the comment and stroked his shoulder as a reassurance to his potentially bruised ego. “Of course. Sorry. Bruce is very good at his job and we’re just never sure how people will react to needles.” Seeing Oliver like this, just on the edge of vulnerability, she decided to push her luck. “Still… maybe you could give Bruce a thank you at least?” Oliver didn’t seem to appreciate the prompting by Addy… but he didn’t outright reject it either. Seeming to resolve on a middle ground of sorts, he looked at Bruce with a half-smile and nodded. “Thanks…” Bruce had honed his craft here over the years, and after a few mistakes in the beginning, he could absolutely tell when to push a Little… and when not to. As a carer for every Little who came in here, he needed to maintain trust with them, so being a Big while also being their friend was a very fine line to walk. So, when he only smiled and said, “No problem,” there was no hidden agenda he was trying to mask. It was pure acknowledgment of sorts and a courtesy back to Oliver. With the formalities out of the way and with Addy satisfied that Oliver had given into her wishes if only a little bit, she nodded to Bruce to start the medicine, the green liquid soon traveling slowly down and entering Oliver’s IV. Having been tested millions of times by now, it was the wonder drug that every spy from Earth wanted to get their hands on. Few aftereffects and even fewer complications as even mere possibilities, without question, it was the best medicine to cure cancer. So, Oliver now drifting into a meditative state of sorts was acting just like the others… peaceful and calm and nearly falling asleep. Until he wasn’t. A master at forcing his feelings down, his brow at first only wrinkled a few times. If he had been asleep, anyone would assume his dream was just strange, but the corners of his mouth soon began to twitch and formed into a visible and unmistakable grimace. When Oliver began to wince, though still trying to tamp all that down, Addy knew something was wrong. ‘No, no. Not again… this medicine works, damn it! I’ve seen it dozens of times now. I know it works.’ “Addy…” Bruce said softly, knocking Addy out of her own internal panic. “Needle?” His eyes gestured toward the exact same cabinet that she had once directed him to with Mindy. Seeing the gesture, Addy was flooded with a sea of memories. She had lost count of how many times they tried a new medicine with Mindy… only for it to fail and for Bruce to have to retrieve the rejection medicine once more over and over again. Seeing Oliver begin to squirm though; despite still not wanting to accept it, Addy attempted to put her best nurse’s face on and go to work to find out what was wrong. “Oliver? Oliver? It’s nurse Addy. Can you hear me? What’s going on?” “It… it… hurts!” he finally popped out. His eyes snapping open before shutting them in intense pain when even that seemed to be too much for him to handle. “H… how?” Addy asked, still trying to get her information to help him while her façade began to crumble as her gut began to groan in terror as a sinking feeling began to eclipse her once more. “It… it’s burning me! Ah!” Oliver yelled, his limbs contracting as if his internal organs were suddenly lighting on fire. “All over! My stomach! My chest! It… it burns, Addy! What’s in that medicine?” His panicking eyes searched all over and saw the IV. “You’re… you’re trying to kill me… ah! What did you give me?” He let out another scream of pain. Addy looked on, and despite not wanting to, and therefore admitting what was truly happening, she knew what she had to do. “Bruce… the sensor. New acquisition… let’s be sure…” Bruce looked questioningly at her but still followed her now outstretched finger to a nearby drawer. There, right beside the thermometer and tongue depressors, was a black instrument barely bigger than his hand. Uncertain but still picking it up, he held it to be inspected and approved. “This?” “Yes!” Addy was beginning to truly panic now. Oliver was thrashing around and yelling in agony as the drugs were ripping through his system, little welts now popping up over his skin and several of his arteries and veins bulging at every corner of his body. “Hurry!” Bruce raced over and handed the device to Addy. Getting it, she pressed the big button on the back and waited. The next 20 seconds seemed like a lifetime to her. Each second ticked by and her Little could do little but jolt and holler in pain. As focused as she was on her device, she didn’t notice the concerned crowd begin to gather outside. Finally, though, the device beeped. Looking down, Addy saw the words as clear as they could be, now flashing across the tiny screen. She had hoped for infection, some kind of unknown parasite fighting back… even a different form of undetectable cancer… but no. Instead, one word kept blinking and rattling around in her head, more dreadful to her in that one moment than a bullet; ‘Rejection.’ If Addy didn’t care about the others or how she would be seen or how her own panic would only make Oliver panic more himself, she might have broken down completely on the spot. ‘No, no, no! Not Mindy again! Please! Anything but that!’ She tried the device again, but already having scanned Oliver, it was faster and showed the same result soon after; ‘Rejection.’ Gasping in anguish, Addy with near tears in her eyes, looked up at Bruce. He knew what she knew and he had even seen Mindy with all this, but the big fellow still looked saddened when Addy gestured over to the cabinet. “The needle… now.” Nodding with both urgency and a sadness of his own, Bruce retrieved the needle dutifully. Sick Littles were bad enough, but Littles that rejected the common cure were far worse. For them, they only agreed to be here because they were usually knocking on death’s door. There were some exceptions, but sadly, for most, rejection always meant a hard path. Not always death… but a guaranteed tough road ahead. Wordlessly, Addy took the needle from Bruce, said a little prayer, and quickly stabbed Oliver in the chest. “Ah!” he exclaimed, taking a deep breath while also gripping his chest as the needle was pulled out. He breathed in heavily in short little breaths, panic and fear evident all over his face. Coughing a little, he then looked at Addy. “What… what the hell was that?” Addy, her heart already fragile, didn’t respond… seemingly in a state of shock. Bruce, seeing his friend and knowing her and why she was likely a little broken and traumatized, came over and set his hand on her shoulder. They didn’t say a word to each other, but as she looked back at him, his look was knowing… the look telling her that her grief was real and needed to be mourned… but that Oliver was the priority right now. It was cruel in a way… but there were a job and a contract here, and at Juventas, like it or not, it took priority over anything else… including one nurse’s feelings. Looking at her perplexed Little, Addy could see the same fear and confusion that she had once seen on Mindy’s face before. While Mindy showed vulnerability however, Oliver only seemed to exhibit rage with what had gone wrong… especially when he saw the little spots where his skin had broken out. Sighing and knowing he needed the truth, Addy pulled over a chair and sat down as Bruce cleared those that had gathered outside. Only minutes later, the gruff questioning exterior of Oliver had melted away. He was pissed that his contract now seemed to be still in effect while also still on the hook with his disease… but the rejection of the one working treatment available was evident to him as well. Both with their own burdens, neither Big nor Little said anything. Finally, though, Oliver looked up from where his eyes had settled on the floor and looked right at Addy. “Addy? Am… am I going to die?” All the air in the room seemed to vanish in a puff of horrible calamity. The one thing unspoken, was now uttered. It was out there in the universe, and it had smacked Addy as big and as hard as if a giant had done it themselves. Not being a Little and totally unused to that type of vantage, Addy could only blink and feel the sting of the words float around her… seeming to mock her and her past. Still though, a tiny part of her was still a nurse at this moment. Her patient had just asked a question, and with the seriousness of it, she knew she needed to answer regardless of how she felt. Her mind, however, went back to its old standby. ‘But Mindy.’ ‘But Mindy’ always seemed like the go-to reasoning for half of what she did in her life now. She was a harder person… but Mindy. She needed to just move on… but Mindy. She needed to help other Littles… but Mindy. She needed to forgive her dad and take her seat on the board to fix this company… but Mindy! She was a little piece of Addy’s heart that had been torn out, and now, Oliver was threatening to do the very same. So, as she stared back at Oliver’s uncharacteristically fearful eyes, eyes that questioned if death was now waiting for him around the corner, she knew the truth was yes. Yes, with no cure and with something deadly infesting his body and eating him away, death was now a possibility. Just like Mindy… the same death… the same pain to her heart… the same hand of a Little slipping from hers one day. Her heart cracked on the spot. And maybe that was the reason she wanted to lie… or at least give Oliver a lie of hope. She couldn’t lie to him outright, not when death was on the line. She had vowed after graduating to never do that. It was too cruel, even if it was coming from a place of kindness. Still, to tell him yes and that be the end of the conversation… Addy was sure it might have killed her right then and there to say those exact words. “Yes…” She only waited a second, but that second seemed to stretch as she watched Oliver’s face begin to sink and a little part of him seemed to break down from the realization that he might very well die… even here. “But I’m not giving up hope.” Already sniffling, though still trying but failing for the most part to keep his composure, Oliver looked back at her. “But… the cure? It… it didn’t work. Is… is there another?” It was truth time, but Addy wanted to add a splash of hope in that bitter truth as well. “No, but… there might be. This is just the well-known one. There might be another out there… somewhere…” Already feeling lighter, her brain started to go into overdrive, figuring out a plan of hope on the spot. “Need to figure out why it rejected you, but… I’m not giving up.” Oliver looked about ten seconds from either breaking down here in the room in front of her, or more likely, racing off to his room and then breaking down there. Seeing that, Addy sighed and came closer to him, taking his hands in hers before looking at him deep in the eyes. “Oliver… I’m not giving up. This isn’t the end. I’m willing to do the work… are you?” She almost didn’t even want to ask, but she knew she had to. Sometimes when past stage 4 cancer patients came here, after years of fighting, they had always said it was here or let nature take its course. So, for Oliver, with the cure failing and with more of a fight to come… she knew she had to at least ask. Oliver started to tremble, his balled little fists that Addy had gripped tightly beginning to shake. Addy wasn’t sure if he was about to cry or fight or yell at her and she knew what she wanted. She didn’t want… couldn’t take more like another Mindy. She wasn’t even sure she could accept if he said he wanted to let nature take its course… but she still listened in, her heart slowing and nearly stopping as he opened his mouth. Still trembling, he looked back at her, and though he winced, he also nodded. “I’m in…” Not even caring at this point, Addy pretty much lost it on the spot and sprang forward and hugged Oliver as tightly as she could like if she even let go for a second, death would already be waiting there to claim him and take him away from her forever. For Oliver though… at first, he seemed to reject her advance over his body. It was against the rules to do something like that at this stage without asking, as, simply put, a Litle could get pissed, fight back, and some might even void their contract or sue a Big. With their contract outlined very precisely, a Big could quickly find themselves in deep trouble. But a strange thing happened… After less than a minute, Oliver stopped struggling. It was a strange move for a Little insisting typically on so much bravado and strength around others. So instead of fight back, he slackened, and what’s more… less than twenty seconds later, he hugged her right back. No force from behind… no ultimatum. Just a pure gesture coming from somewhere deep down in the now terrified Little. It was a tiny moment between the two, but Addy felt his little arms snugly wrap around her. At first, it almost seemed like he was just reciprocating her own gesture… a ‘giving in’ type of situation. But when he only gripped her tighter… like he was suddenly afraid that he would be pulled away, Addy couldn’t help but smile. ‘I’ve got you, Oliver... I’ve got you and you’re not going anywhere. I will find a cure for you… no matter what it takes…’ She didn’t say a word, only allowing her hug to reassure the tiny and once so self-assured Little in her arms. There was a fight to come, and both were 100% invested now and would fight to the very end. If anyone looked in and saw them, however, they wouldn’t see two fighters… just a Little and a Big tenderly embracing in the warmest of hugs they could manage.

I realize I probably should have put a reminder in this chapter, so thank you for letting me know that I should probably do this in the future as well as my original plan of explaining it more later. For now, the machine was experimental. Everyone was hopeful for Cara to be okay, but it messed with her in such a way as to adapt to her later on. And I might play with the language today to emphasize this more, but a bad day for Cara means regression. In the previous story, she was only slightly regressed. Now, she nearly spaces out for lengths of time and is only calm with Addy's presence it seems. As for Sam, she took Cara in due to her big heart, but... taking someone in and knowing about their condition after being subjected to an expereimental machine are two separate things entirely. As I said, I'll play with the language more today to emphasize this, but basically Cara is in unknown waters and consent is always important. It'll be asked constantly and even if her abilities are suspect, she still has some mental clarity. Hope this helps... EDIT: I just added some more clarifications to the chapter, but it's essentially what I noted above. I should also note that medical advancements have shortened timelines in their dimension. For example, here cancer can be cured, but it takes time and there's still checks years afterward. In this dimension, even terminal cancer can be completely cleared and cured within three months, so when it comes to Cara and her regression prognosis, it isn't a stretch for them to have unrealistic expectations. Put another way... the Bigs aren't used to a problem stumping them and taking time, so when something experimental enters their lives and with such a small testing group affected, timelines are purely just thrown out the window.