LostBBoyBear

And you are absolutely right about that. Several of my stories have future sequels that I haven't quite gotten around to writing yet. I haven't mentioned it in a while, but even now, just including the Diaper Dimension stories, I have over 35 that have at least a basic plot already written out. Further, about half of them already have detailed plots per chapter. But admittedly, for some of the threads in my stories, while a few will be resolved in as of yet unwritten sequels, or at least soft sequels, many of these are leading up to one of the last (at least chronologically) stories on my DD timeline. It's a bit spoilery, so I won't repeat it here, but I've made mention to it a few times in the past. For those of you that know, don't worry, I definitely haven't forgotten about it. I just need to write at least four more specific stories before I can get to it and not have to worry about continuity errors so much. Remember, like my teachers always told me, good things come to those who wait...

Hey everyone! Whew! Sorry about the delay, so definitely a big thanks to all of you for your wait! I’m on my trip now and I’ve already walked about 90,000 steps in the few days before this one, but I’m just beginning, and I know that number is just the start of it all. Now, my chair here is a lot harder, and the Wi-Fi isn’t as great, but here we go regardless with the last chapter. So, moving forward, yeah… no shrinking this go around. I assure those of you that wanted that, I have other stories set aside for those scenarios. For this one, I wanted to bring a Big down to their very depths. I wanted them to still be a Big, and yet act like a Little. With so much technology at everyone’s disposal, I felt there just had to be some kind of incident with a Big. Plus, my last story already shrank the Big into a Little. I think it worked better for that story’s plot, so I left this story with at least one unique quality. Next, I’ve given this considerable consideration, and have now closed out the previous poll, but based on your results, I will next be selecting the Boys Maturity Reform Story. Admittedly, there was a tie between this story and Peter’s age regression story, but I think with everything new going on in my life, I think it will be a safer bet to go with the story that has the least unknown factors. Despite me picking that story from the tie though, due to Peter’s story’s high demand, I will cast a single vote for it in the next round of voting, as well as give it a higher consideration like I did with this story going into the last poll. Personal notes beyond the poll, however, on the next story will also be counted though… for those of you wondering. So, looking ahead for my next story, I will be taking some time off to flesh out the plot further, get ahead on the chapters, and enjoy this long-awaited trip of mine. Considering that it’s still two more weeks even from now and with a shaky internet connection, posting a story regularly during the end of this time might be possible but would likely be highly dicey to start a story off that way. I will try to post something before I come back, but just don’t get your hopes up at this point. So, for now though, enjoy the time between now and when I post next (if not around the 11-13 September, then the following week for sure). For all of you who voted, I want to thank you deeply. Despite this story not being as successful as I might have liked (though suspected), I think after seeing the results, I can consider the poll a success. Improvements could always be sought more though, so, as such, I have included another poll. The following link is to another poll about this new voting method and using this with my other stories in the future. If anyone has any suggestions for ways of improvement or even just in general, feel to leave a comment here or in the poll itself. Again, with the results I saw this go around with even a more limited voting window and less viewers, I am encouraged by them, but I would still like to know what you all thought of it. https://strawpoll.com/05ZdzWkrbn6 Finally, I hope everyone enjoys the last chapter of this story and has enjoyed the journey getting here! Chapter 12: Candles Mark New Beginnings “Okay! Places you all!” I announced to the group in front of me. Molly had given me the distinct honor of setting up the camera on the tripod and caroling everyone into positions. Our talks since I had last seen Willy had been immeasurably helpful… especially after everything that had happened since then. She might have been a cop through and through, and even if she didn’t know it, her advice was immensely helpful in gaining some semblance of my former life… when I could that it. It had been a few months since that fateful night and so much had happened. Even now, I was watching as Gina, Harry, and Willy were all wrapped up in the arms of their caregivers. It had been a sad day to see them leave the safehouse, but subsequent visits to their new houses, like today, had alleviated some of my blues from my more recent… problems. In fact, for Gina and Harry, yet another police officer had adopted them both with his wife and they had never seemed happier. Their success, in a small way, was also my success… at least that’s what Dr. B had been discussing with me in our weekly sessions lately. “Come on Sarah! You too!” Molly was a great lady, but her career was also a priority of hers. I know some other Bigs looked down on her for not leaving her job, but I always appreciated her answer of staying a police officer to ‘ensure the world is safe for her Little.’ Busier than ever though, Sarah was a recent hire from Willy’s old household and most, including me, thought she was just great. Honestly, I think she made the best scones I’ve ever had. Considering how much Willy adored her as well, I felt strongly that her addition to the Donovan household was one of the best decisions they could have made in their new lives. “Okay, twenty seconds!” I turned my attention back to the camera and set the timer. A few of Molly’s work friends were teasing each other and kept going out of the frame, but I figured they would either be in the shot or it would be their own fault. From my perspective at least, being Willy’s birthday party and all, I felt strongly that he should be the center of everything. Everyone else was important but there was no picture today without him. Regardless, I saw the timer tick down. Panicking, I dashed over to my pre-selected spot, next to both Penelope and Mildred, huddled in, and waited for the click. It soon popped and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Curious though, I hopped over a few people sitting on the ground to go over and ensure the photo came out just right. It did, mostly, but there was a tiny part of my mind that worried that others might have heard my noisy crinkle as I bounced over to the camera. Just in case, Penelope insisted I wear a pair of plastic pants over my diapers. She didn’t want me leaking… again. Still, my mind focused back on the photo. One of the policemen at her precinct had his arm partially cut off, and that might have been fine, but there was one problem. Willy wasn’t looking and was instead distracted by the two stuffy’s in his arms, one a recent gift he had just received. Worse, I then saw other Littles weren’t looking either. “Wait! We need to do it again! The Littles aren’t looking!” Everyone groaned but ultimately said nothing important. With a bunch of Littles in the mix, it was just a miracle no one was crying yet, and despite wanting to move on with the day, everyone gave them some latitude for events like these. So, determined, I set the timer once more and ran back over. “Willy! Look at the camera and smile big, baby!” Molly instructed her bundle of joy. I quickly saw many of the other Littles look up as well. “Ooopsie… sowwy Mommy…” he said, blushing a bit but then immediately correcting his actions to ensure this photo actually came out right. It was super cute honestly, and the group giggled a bit over his reaction, “Smile big everyone and say cheese after 1! 3… 2… 1!” Kent, Willy’s new daddy and Molly’s husband, instructed merrily. Despite his reputation for strict adherence to justice on the force, I knew that secretly, he was really just a big softie. Fortunately, his reputation for gruffness and everyone snapped right to the camera. “Cheese!” the group yelled out happily. The camera’s flash lit up, and another sigh of relief could be heard. Worried of another botched photo, I jogged back over, trying to move a little more carefully though to reduce the amount of crinkling going on. I hated plastic pants, but a few public leaks would change anyone’s mind about wearing them. Still, Penelope, Mildred, myself, and a few other figures in my life were still worried about the greater public finding out about me. Considering all the cops nearby, I decided not to take that risk. Looking at the photo, I smiled at its success this go around. “And we’re good!” The tension in the room evaporated in seconds and everyone went back to their dealings around the party. With the party now in various stages of completion, I decided to finally eat my piece of cake. One half of it was chocolate and the other half was vanilla. I appreciated that, but still chose the soft yellow vanilla cake. The problem was though, I had waited too long apparently, and things were all getting put away. To my dismay, there weren’t any forks left. “Drats!” I was tempted just to set the piece back down and forget about it, but its sugary fluffy goodness beckoned me closer. I was defenseless… but still without a fork. I considered my options, but at the end of the day, I could only think of one. “Oh well… not like anyone is gonna care…” And so, without a care of anything else, I stuck my hand right in the cake to gobble it all up. It oozed through my fingers, and I let out a little giggle. Still, despite my new source of entertainment, my taste buds took priority. So, I wolfed down the part of the cake I had taken away. The solid layer of icing separating the top and bottom half of the cake was messier than I expected, but everything was amazing, maybe even more so from my new eating technique. Even the thick globs of icing on top of the cake, my piece just showing the birthday balloons from the larger overall form Adventure Sam. I wish I could have gotten one of his animal companions, but still, I was immensely satisfied and licked my lips. Right as I ate another icing balloon in one gulp, I took a second to settle myself and lick my fingers. Looking up for once, I blushed immediately. Almost everyone was looking at me. I froze and panicked. “Sorry… couldn’t find a fork and I’m just so darn hungry! Stupid new diet and all, you know?” Most laughed, but I still saw the look of doubt on a few of their faces. I didn’t know them, and I really didn’t care about the other half of the group of Molly’s cop friends as much, but fortunately, one of them did come to my rescue and hand me a fork. I smiled at them and thanked them, but my joy over their kind gesture was quickly interrupted. “Tiffany!” My eyes jutted over to the familiar voice. Penelope was charging right for me, but again to my rescue, Mildred slowed her down. It might have been a huge scene, but Aunty… ‘Fiddlesticks!’ Mildred had come to my rescue before then. Penelope was wonderful and caring to me, but Mildred was my shoulder to cry on for the small stuff I was losing in my life. Penelope still helped with the big stuff, but Mildred had been my savior more and more lately. So, heeding her actions, Penelope then slowed down and handed me a napkin briskly, but without any affectation. “Wipe,” she commanded. Mildred clutched her arm and looked at her pleadingly, though without showing weakness as a Middle. I knew it was a tight rope for her to walk on, but she was becoming a pro at it recently. “Not here, P,” Mildred whispered silently to my other friend and carer. “Outside. No stares, no news story…” Penelope looked back at me and nodded. The routine was almost normal to me now, so I swallowed a huge hunk of cake, threw my plate out, and then trudged off with them outside. Willy had just smeared his own remaining cake over his face, and while I would have loved to have seen that, it created the perfect distraction for us to slip out. Once in the other room, Penelope immediately took me by the wrist and looked at me dead in the eye. “Are you slipping? Can you tell me that at least? Or do I need to be checking you more often?” Her voice was stern, but she also made sure that it was barely above a whisper. Discretion had practically become our motto. “Easy, P,” Mildred said, as calmly as she could. “It was just an accident with the ‘no fork’ bit,” she then looked back at me. “Right Tiff?” “Right…” I knew my options were limited and I wasn’t sure how much I could say the whole ‘no fork’ business was an ‘accident,’ but I hadn’t realized it either in the beginning. I just didn’t care I didn’t have a fork, but I also saw Penelope right then. Her eyes blazed with frustration over my condition and instinctively, I placed my hands behind my butt. The last time she had looked at me like that, she had laid down the law and, well… I’ll just note that I was glad I had some padding on my butt in the days that followed. “Fine… but don’t think you’re out of this yet, missy,” Penelope nearly growled with a sigh of resignation. “Just you wait. I might just decide no desert for a week if you do something like that again and not tell…” she immediately stopped. Mildred and I both were confused, until we tracked her gaze and followed it back to the archway leading into the main hallway. Molly was standing there. Instead of a look of horror or one of surprise, she only smiled. “Oh no, please continue, Penelope. Something tells me that someone might need a bit of encouragement to speak up more.” Her smile then grew as she walked closer to me. “Or maybe she needs some more constant checking… just in case.” I was kind of confused what was going on, but then I realized… she knew. “Wait, you know?” I could tell from both Mildred’s and Penelope’s faces that they were just as shocked as I was. Molly’s smile then changed from one of playfulness, to one of something I could only describe as maternal warmth. “Of course I know, sweetie.” She then walked further into the room. “Your case was part of the trial with Willy against Boss Cardigan and all his thugs. They assaulted you, a Big, so their cases were exponentially worse than if they only attacked a Little. It might not be fair that way, but You’re the reason they went away… wherever they went to…” I found it curious that not even Molly, a decorated cop, knew about their whereabouts now. I wanted to have that type of closure, but from the momentarily grave look on her face, I knew that justice, Big style, had been done to them. What that meant was a mystery, but everyone knew no Big ever returned once they got that sentence. It was some comfort at least, but I was still too shocked to say anything back to her. “Wow…” Penelope said, her shock over yet another person inside our circle of those in the know still plainly evident. She then looked back at me. “You know… now that you know, and I’m glad you do… could you maybe keep the party distracted while we make our exit?” I really didn’t want to leave the party. Cake was just one part of the party, and I really wanted to see more of his presents and have a good time with all the Littles and… ‘Phooey…’ I could feel myself slipping once again, and like we had practiced, I stood back to Penelope and brushed her arm. It was a small gesture that could be passed off as an accidental bump, but it had saved us countless embarrassments already. “Yeah… that’s a definite need to exit the party,” Penelope continued, her acknowledgement of my brush against her elevating her request from Molly for a distraction and exit going from a passing desire to a pressing need. “Really anything, but definitely soon.” Molly seemed perplexed, but then looked at me, and I’m not sure what she was seeing, but her look of confusion once again gave way to her warm smile. “Oh, of course, Pen. I think I know just the thing!” She then turned to me. “I’m really sorry about all this, Tiff, but I’m just glad you’re in safe hands now.” She was using the same tone she used with Willy, and I could have hated it, but I could already feel her tone being more of a comfort now to me than not. Molly then scampered off and Penelope and Mildred busied themselves with grabbing our bags from the front door. Mildred’s actually seemed like a purse. Mine barely could be called that anymore, but Penelope’s… hers was a bit bigger than usual for a simple purse. Elegant and fashionable in its own way, but in reality, it was a just a slightly larger version of what every caregiver carried with them who had a Little in their life. “Hey everyone!” Molly announced in the other room, her distraction already starting up. I wondered what she was going to go with. “Let’s do a photoshoot with Willy playing with all his new toys. Let’s snap a few of him and then everyone’s Littles can join in as well!” Seconds later, a series of coos and gushes over the cute scene before the Bigs unfolded. I hated that I couldn’t play, but Penelope was already gently guiding me out the door. A brief look between us showed me that she knew I wanted to stay, but for her, that was even more of a reason to get me out of here. The last thing she wanted was notoriety. Unfortunately, Mildred realized she had left her own camera in the other room… which gave me just enough time to stop and stare at the first round of presents that Willy had opened up already today from Molly and Kent. They weren’t the most glamorous technologically sound ever, but they were still the best toys any Little could hope for… I wanted them immediately. Deep down, I knew that feeling was wrong, but and while I found the ability to control myself stronger than I had even a month ago, my impulses still ran my actions for me. I felt I should be ashamed… a grown Big lusting after the toys designed for a toddler, but how could I possible say ‘no’ to a new blanket or a new and limited edition toy featuring Miko the zebra from Adventure Pals, the spin-off already in the works from Adventure Sam. Right then though, I nearly felt a burning sensation in the back of my mind. Desperately trying, I managed to rip my eyes away from the new toys and saw that I was being watched by an enchanted Mildred and Penelope. “What?” My question was genuine and innocent, but it still elicited a giggle from both of them. Penelope even helped me off the ground and gave my shoulders a little pat. “Nothing, sweetie. Let’s just get you out of here so you can cool off, okay?” I still was missing the joke, and I pouted a little, but taking advantage of Molly’s distraction and exiting the front door, the beautiful day outside quickly pushed those thoughts of confusion out of my head. We then started to wander around the outside garden that Molly attended to so diligently. I could feel my mind start to slip backwards once again unfortunately, but I was really too distracted by the pretty flowers to pay much attention to it… or the consequences. Soon, I found myself enraptured in a particular bed of flowers that contained an array of blues, red, pinks, oranges, and even purples. Small little bugs, a few butterflies, and even an occasional bee marked the tops of many of the flowers and I immediately squatted in front of them. I briefly felt odd and even uncomfortable, but the feeling soon passed. I just wanted to view my little friends of the outdoor world. Whatever that strange backed-up feeling was, it was gone now. And that’s all that mattered, right? I might have stayed that way for a long time, but I had been distracted for so long that some of the other guests started leaving as well. I didn’t pay them any mind, but finally, Mildred came over to me and placed a hand on my back. “Sweetie? The others are leaving. I think its best we all go home.” “Okay!” I wanted to protest and maybe even call Penelope or Mildred some names, but I knew full well by now that would have only earned me another few swats to my rear and a new and unfortunate new way to curb some of my ‘less than ladylike’ habits, at least according to Penelope. Mouth soaping’s, particularly with the fake and extra sudsy apricot flavored and amber colored soap, were particularly horrible fates. I hated them, but I guess the soaping’s worked, and I actively tried to avoid the punishment whenever possible lately if we only had to deal with cats taking on lions. “Come on, honey,” Penelope pressed, holding her hand out for me to take as Mildred started to walk behind me, her support there to ensure I would pe pushed from the rear as well if needed. “Let’s get you home. Maybe a nice bath and some story time tonight?” “Oh yeah! Really?” Penelope only smirked and nodded, but in my slipping mind, it was all I needed to hear. I knew that a grown woman like me shouldn’t be that excited over the prospect of bathtime or story time, but Penelope was a pro at both. She made sure to use the lavender bubbles in my daily baths now and even used separate voices for each of the characters during story time each night. About hallway back to the car though, I started hearing a sniffling from behind me. It was kind of odd, and at first, I just ignored it. Soon, it started to amount to how some poor soul would sound during allergy season. I knew it was Mildred, and I was half tempted to ask her if she was okay, but we soon arrived to the car and she stopped. Curiously though, when Penelope started to unlock the car door, Mildred came around and whispered something in her ear. Both stopped what they were doing and looked back at me. “Tiffy?” I looked at both of them with wide and questioning eyes. I wondered if I had violated one of the 20 rules for good Little behavior that they made me read last week. It was so hard to memorize all the rules, like washing your hands or brushing your teeth, and Penelope and Mildred were helping me, but their expression now concerned me. “Is there something you maybe need to tell us?” I looked at both of them with confusion still. “Maybe something that you did?” I panicked and tried to think of anything I had done that might have been considered naughty in the past day. “Okay, okay! I didn’t floss last night, and I forgot to say please when I asked for a piece of cake!” I quickly pulled my hands to my diapered rear, hoping they would block any attempts of punishment. “Please don’t spank me! I’m sorry!” Instead of acting furiously though, both just shook their heads. Penelope then finally spoke up. “I’m glad you told us about those things, Tiffy, but this isn’t that…” She sighed, briefly looked at the ground, and then back up at me. “Tiffy, did you go poo-poo in your pants?” I froze and tried to wiggle my butt around to check to see if I had. I hated it when I became this regressed and couldn’t even talk about that anymore. My potty training was practically at ‘stage 0’ lately and it led to some less than mature moments for me. I knew I couldn’t help it, but being asked if one was poopy was bad enough. The offending individual being asked, like me, not knowing if they were or not though, was worse. “No?” I felt strongly that if they were asking me, they already knew, but I just wasn’t sure. I could poke my butt, but Mildred had actively discouraged that three weeks ago when I had done the same thing at a local park. I wasn’t sure why, but feeling naughty already, I didn’t want to make things worse. Penelope and Midred looked at each other with doubt and I knew that I was poopy. I still couldn’t feel if I had or not, but I had seen that look before. I told me only one thing. Mildred then sighed. “Tiffy, I think you did. Just turn around for us, okay?” I hated this part, but being a Big, many of the standard ways of diaper checks were simply too public. Instead, Penelope or Mildred would feel for the dreaded lump back there in the seat. I didn’t have the control anymore, and a part of my mind truly didn’t care, but there was a part of me that still did, and today, that part was more awake than usual… even if that really didn’t that much anymore. Still, I turned around for them. I quickly felt a hand probe the rear of my diaper, and while the thick padding ensured they couldn’t just feel it in one go, by the third attempt, I could feel the lump if my most recent accident as well. So, turning me back around, Penelope brushed my shoulder in reassurance. “It’s okay, Tiffy. You had an accident, and we’ll get you cleaned up in a jiffy. No big deal, right? Maybe just another trip to Adulescens coming up even, huh?” Despite my nodding to both her questions, it was a big deal, and sadly, I wasn’t sure how much of an impact going to Adulescens was going to have anymore. While it helped me mentally cope with everything, my signs of improvement had practically dried up only about two weeks after I started going back regularly. Lately, I just couldn’t be the old me anymore with a quick dose of Moro and a session there. It was sad in a way, but I still got to see my friends from there, and no one judged me for even a second under that roof. If nothing else, that was nice at least. “I heard they just got a new shipment of toys in,” Mildred then added. My joy immediately leapt from where I had been at previously. I wasn’t even sad about my ‘mush tush’ anymore. I just wanted to go back there as soon as possible. Penelope and Mildred smiled at each other, but then started going about their usual routine whenever I had an accident and needed it to be changed quickly. Mildred grabbed the diaper bag and turned on the car for the music to distract me and cover up any sounds from the outside world. Penelope dropped the needed seats and then checked the sightlines for who could see us. Already anticipating this as a possibility, she had parked near the rear of the house’s driveway and now the rear just faced a bunch of woods. A quick spread of the changing mat in the rear by both, and everything was ready. While they did all that, I tuned almost everything out as I grabbed Miss Pink and then began to sway to the music on the lawn. I could have cared about the mess I had unknowingly made in my diaper or the fact that I had exhausted every cure out there at this point or even that I was likely stuck like this for the next few years at least, but I wasn’t bitter. My life wasn’t even close to how I had imagined it, but if recent news reports of other regressed Bigs that had leaked were any clue, things could have been much worse for me. Then, as soon as Mildred and Penelope were done with their tasks, I immediately hugged them without any ounce of warning. “Thank you both so much!” My emotions may have been more unstable, and that meant tantrums, crying fits, and fearing practically every shadow and perceived monster out there now, it meant that my happiness and love knew few bounds as well. To me, in this state, and even when I hadn’t slipped back into a younger mindset, I still viewed both Mildred and Penelope as my saviors, guardians, and as the ultimate caregivers. I would have been so lost without them, so hugs like these happened pretty regularly lately. “Oh, you’re very welcome sweetie,” Penelope cooed as she fully hugged me back. Being coupled with two Bigs, Mildred as a Middle struggled a bit with the group hug, but she cuddled right in as well. In that one moment, no one seemed to care about my dirty diaper… or even me about the news I had accidentally overheard the other day that I wasn’t sure I was allowed to or not. Sadly, I was losing control of the safehouse. It was only natural with my massive slips becoming more regular lately, but it was still a bit of a blow to my ego regardless. I could tell both regretted the decision for Penelope to become the new leader of Safehouse 81, Mildred a little more, but the decision had been made. I even saw the paperwork last night on the kitchen counter as I helped make the Little’s sandwiches. And I suppose that might have been why I was okay with everything. Penelope and Mildred were still keeping me on as part of the staff as most of the Littles seemed more comfortable with me than any Big could ever be. I think that was more because I was like them in more ways than I might have liked, but it was still a useful skill to have. Still, that wasn’t the main reason I was okay with it. The main reason was that there were more Littles now in our safehouse. While our numbers were still rebuilding to what they used to be, the leadership under Penelope was far better than anything I could muster on my own lately. It might have been a bitter pill to swallow about not being the overseer of Safehouse 81 anymore, but the safehouse itself would continue. The location I had started years ago would endure and help countless more Littles than it already had. For consolation prizes, it wasn’t bad. Dr. Benson had been trying to get me to accept more things in my life, regardless of how embarrassing they were. I might have one told him to just stay out of my business, but I can now admit that I regretted how much I fought him in the beginning of all this. I knew I might have actually stood a chance at getting better if I had only given in to what he had asked of me, but that was in the past. Today, however, I was being cared for and in a place that I could live and work with and help Littles. At the end of the day, that’s what mattered to me. As odd as it may have been in our society, I was still happy overall. It might not be much to some, but for me that feeling was something, and that meant everything when I had once feared I would be left with nothing or the worst of the worst as an empty shell at the end of all this. I shed a single tear at it all, but like so many other things, my thoughts had to give way to reality. I had a dirty diaper that needed changing, and like Penelope had suggested, I had bathtime and story time waiting for me back at the safehouse. It was so little to be happy about, but considering everything, I can honestly say that I was in this new life of mine. So, I broke the hug and laid down to accept the change in my life. It might have been just another diaper change today, but I openly accepted it and the life I saw ahead of me. Overall, it wasn’t terrible, and I couldn't help but smile.

ANNOUNCEMENT! Oh boy... they say when it rains, it pours, and unfortunaetly, in this case, I can take that literally. Last night, a huge storm hit my area and while everything is safe and secure now, my power went out about four times last night. So, with regret and due to those delays and the pressures of leaving for my flight in a few hours, I will not be able to post the final chapter today as I had originally intended. Fortunately, most of the final chapter has been written now, but I no longer have the time to edit it today. You have my most sincere apologies for this. What this means, however, is two two things. First, I will leave the poll up for a little longer until I can actually post the final chapter. Feel free to vote if you still haven't... a few of the more recent votes have made this race nearly even between two of the stories. Second though, it means I'm not really sure when I'll be able to post the final chapter. I know this will be a diappointment to many of you, especially considering that it might be delayed until Sunday, but I ask for your patience at this time. For now, cross your fingers and keep a weather eye on for when I post the final chapter.

Hey everyone! First off, I just want to say thank you to everyone who’s been reading this story. Not one of my more popular stories for sure, but considering that when I’m writing this at least, the view count is already almost higher than the original story, I think I can consider this one a success. It’s definitely been a blast to write from this perspective and I could have gone even further in some plot threads and given you all what you seem to want, but I think most people will be happy with the ending that I’ve carved out here to some degree at least. Spoiler: it’s going to be a bumpy ride! Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two, six, and ten, along with my next story options (only in chapter 2). It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Looking ahead, there’s just one more chapter to go after this one. If everything goes as planned, I should be able to post it by tomorrow or Friday. If things go wrong though or I feel I don’t have enough time to do it justice, I might have to postpone it until Saturday. If this is the case, however, I will know by tomorrow night and will let you all know then. Lastly, as usual, I hope everyone enjoys the penultimate chapter of this story! Chapter 11: Losses and Gains Are Hard to Differentiate Sometimes Fresh clarity at last! Hallelujah! I’m certainly not the religious type, but it’s hard not to believe in fate, miracles, the planets aligning or whatever else is out there when you go from not even noticing that you’re leaking all your intelligence out into your thick diaper to feeling completely normal… without any more medication. That’s right… I said it. I’m off all medication. That shot sucked. I can be up front about that and admit that I might have shed a few big girl tears over what that felt like and the feelings I had when I woke up from that small slumber, but in the end, what did it really matter? I think I would have eaten fire if it meant I could feel like myself again. It might have taken the two days that Dr. Benson predicted it would have, but it seemed so small and minute in comparison to a lifetime of normalcy. Everything had changed in my life and some aspects remained stuck as they were, but already, other movements were shifting back into place at the safehouse. Diaper duty and soothing temper tantrums from unruly Littles wasn’t exactly a picnic, but admittedly, there’s almost a joy from changing your first diaper after coming back when you can actually be the carer and not the helper… as I had been turning into by the end of that last regression stint. Sure, I could hand Penelope or Mildred the wipes or powder or even diaper itself, but they just didn’t trust me enough not to make a complete mess out of the process. It was a small humiliation at the time, and now, an odd surge of adrenaline when I dove back into diaper duty coming back, but again, it was just another sign that I was okay. I had even devoted myself to finding another carer for the safehouse to replace Vivian. I even contemplated adding a new question in dealing with a Big in diapers… just to sort through the more judgmental or ‘in it for the money’ types, but I wasn’t exactly sure yet. Overall, it felt good to be back, however, to my dismay, there was one problem. As I was passing out, Dr. Benson had a moment of clarity where he remembered one major downside to this new experimental drug that he had injected me with. It was limited, but it seemed a fatal flaw that both Penelope and I nearly knocked his lights out for initially failing to mention. It turns out that any major shocks to my system in the month after the initial dosage could crash me once more into a regression tailspin… one possibly even worse than before. It was terrible, but like everything else, Penelope had attacked it with the same gusto that she had when I was seconds away from permanent toddlerhood. Aroma therapy, candles, meditation times, quiet times, bubble baths, massages, yoga… anything. If it was designed to be relaxing, chances are that since the experimental drug injection, I had experienced it in some form or another. Mildred sputtered half the time, choking on whatever new age therapy Penelope tried to start next with me, but we both assured her that it was only a temporary measure for the future. Still, just in case anything slightly turned for the worse, I continued to see Dr. Benson. It took about a week of me acting like my ‘old self’ for Penelope to stop coming in the actual room with me, but again, it was still progress. She insisted on remaining out in the waiting room, ready and willing to jump in if needed, but today was already the end of the second week of my one-month period and there were zero shocks to my system. For now, that meant I was still okay. “You know, you haven’t talked about Tyson in a while, Tiffany,” Dr. Benson brought up finally. It was an out of sight, out of mind situation, and truthfully, I didn’t want to dwell on him. Already, even in his short mention, I could feel my pulse quicken, once again worrying that he was going to finish the tattooed man’s job and regress me the rest of the way. “Is your fear about him gone? Or was it just another regression symptom?” So, sadly, I had to shake my head. I quickly did some of the breathing techniques Penelope had been teaching me lately in an effort to calm my pulse down. It was annoying but effective. “No, Dr. B. It wasn’t a symptom. Maybe amplified previously with my more unstable emotions, but him still being out there gives me panic attacks whenever I hear his name. Like just now…” “Oh.” I couldn’t tell if Dr. B was genuinely surprised or not. “That’s not good with that experimental drug in your system. I should have thought of that before I gave it to you, and you have my deepest and more sincere apologies. Still, we need to do something about this matter with Tyson…” He then paused and leaned back in his chair. I could tell he was being sincere, but as I tried to center and ground myself back into a state of calm after hearing Tyson’s name, I felt it made little difference at this point. Maybe my regressed self would have offered him full forgiveness on the spot, but with my current intellectual capacity, this version of me held a little bit of a grudge for his error. “Maybe we should do something about your fear…” he finally said, clearly trying to form a plan to save his mistake with me from growing permanent. “Something that will be guaranteed to work…” “And just how to you plan on something like that?” I thought of all the ways he could help me, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to experiment with my body any further. I was already in this office for science gone amuck. I didn’t need yet another reason to come in here later when I found this new cure had yet another downside. “It’s simple… complicated, but simple.” He then leaned forward as if he was going to tell me a secret. “I want you to meet with him…” My eyes grew wide. It felt like such a stupid suggestion, but Dr. B was no fool. I knew if he was suggesting the interaction in the first place, he would have to have some plan already cooking up. Too curious, I pressed more. “And you could do that? I mean… I’m not sure, but you could do that without damaging my psyche, right? Like a shock that you’ve been warning me about?” Dr. B smiled and nodded. “Due to some peculiar circumstances, I’ve actually met with him. I could arrange a meeting shortly and ease the burden of a shock of seeing him randomly.” Dr. B then sighed. “To be blunt, I’ve been making sure he avoids most of the areas of this city you frequent… just in case, but I don’t think that will be sustainable forever.” I didn’t know that we had been avoiding each other, and I was still hesitant about this plan of Dr. B, but I knew that I at least needed Penelope’s advice on this, so I brought her in, and we all talked about it some more. She was completely opposed, but Dr. B’s silver tongue worked its magic and soon, she gave her tentative approval of me meeting up with him here. The next few days back at the safehouse, I pushed deep into all kinds of therapies to remain calm. Most made the whole place smell of something other than baby powder and disinfectant for once, but poor Mildred couldn’t help but sneeze 70% of the time now. The Littles thought it was just funny… I could only assure her that it wouldn’t be for too much longer. Turns out, I was right. About mid-way through the third week of the month, Dr. B reached out to me to arrange a time and a place with Tyson. Understanding, Mildred agreed to cover whenever I needed to go, so all prepared, the appointment was set for the next day. On my way there, I couldn’t help but bounce my knee around in nervous anticipation of this moment. Penelope even had to insist on helping change my diaper in the lobby bathroom before I went up after she saw that my hands were shaking too much from that anticipation. Unfortunately, my bladder was one of those muscles that would just take time to heal, but already used to the whole process with her, I just kept deep breathing as we finished up and then headed up to Dr. B’s waiting room once more. Dr. B then stuck his head out of his office door and quickly spotted us. “Alright. Both of you come in and have a seat.” We nodded and brushed past him and took a seat as instructed. I noticed that Dr. B had some of the specialized calming incense that Penelope had purchased too. I wondered when they had talked about something like that… Dr. B quickly interrupted my thoughts though and approached us gingerly. “Okay, you two… this is it. Ready?” We both nodded. “Good. Now, Penelope, I want you watch out for Tiffany and any signs of stress she might be building up to.” He then turned to me. “Tiffany, I’m going to bring Tyson in. I want you breathe deeply and know that whatever you see, he is not the monster you’ve made him out to be… in fact, I think when you see him, you might understand a few things a little more that you’ve been questioning about him in our sessions here…” I nodded as calmly as I could, but my mind whirled with what Dr. B meant by that. As he exited the room, I could hear a shuffling nearby, and I knew that regardless of how I felt or how curious I was about his comment, I was soon about to meet Tyson for the first time since the tattooed man had initially injected me. The door soon opened, but Dr. B was right… Tyson wasn’t what I expected at all. To be blunt, I had expected a goon to walk in the room. I could just remember a masked figure handing the tattooed man the giant needle. Hesitation perhaps, and maybe it was just my imagination since then blowing everything out of proportion, but I felt he was more of a mad doctor’s assistant type than some lowly henchman. I imagined a cruel and deformed weak-willed being with scaly hands, a hunched back, and venomous fangs in my deepest nightmares. I had pictured him so many times, my pulse raced as he entered. But the Tyson I saw… the real Tyson, was much different. I suppose in a way, he was deformed in his own right, but then I guess I would have had to call myself deformed as well. Tyson, bulging crotch with snaps running up the seams of his overalls and all, was standing before me, seemingly as scared as I was. There was no monster in front of me, but quickly everything then clicked upon seeing who Tyson actually was now. The trial had mentioned ‘exigent circumstances,’ but I had just been assuming it had been a mistrial or that a lawyer or cop had mishandled the evidence. Clearly, seeing and even smelling him now as he wafted into the room, I was wrong. “Tyson?” The lumbering figure nodded his head. If I had been blind and only his movements and mannerisms were being described to me, I would have sworn that someone was talking about a shy child rather than an evidently now ex-henchman. “It’s okay, Tyson,” Dr. B consoled. I recognized his tone immediately as the one he had been using with my more regressed form. I was half expecting to see a caregiver of some kind, like Penelope had been to me, standing right behind him. As he entered the room though, I saw that he was completely alone. Once Tyson sat with a plop on the opposite seat that Dr. B had set up opposite of ours, with himself seated in the middle to oversee everything, he turned to me. “I guess I should explain…” I quickly nodded. I saw a sly smirk appear over Dr. B’s face, and I wondered what he was thinking, but he continued. “Well, Tyson here is now considered a ward of the state. As you might have guessed, the charges against him were dropped due to his current state. The court appointed me as the psych consult in the case to evaluate Tyson, and I’ve been treating him ever since…” Dr. B then turned back to Tyson. “Tyson?” The other diapered Big’s face lit up for a moment and he looked at Dr. B with a wide smile. “Do you know where you are?” A sinking realization started to settle within me. If Dr. B was asking Tyson questions like that, he was far worse off than I ever was. As the last time I had seen him he was fine, I wondered what had happened since then. Tyson’s smile faded away and he nodded. “Uh… yeah, Dr. B.” I could already tell that he was in a swinging state of mentality and regression. It was immediately obvious that these swings of his were worse than mine ever were. “Perfect.” I swore I could see a relief wash over Dr. B’s face. I wondered if it was a possibility that Tyson might have been too far into his regressed state and that today would have had to be postponed. “Just like we talked about… nice and easy, but Tiffany, Miss Glifford to you, is here.” Tyson’s eyes darted over to Penelope at first, but then to me. Panic hit him in seconds, but I could tell that he had something on his mind. In my more mature state, I knew I had to step up for a moment. It was against everything I ever thought of him, but part of me… the part that had been regressed as well, only felt sympathy for this Big seated in front of me now. “It’s okay, Tyson… just take your time.” I made sure to use the tone of my voice I usually reserved for Littles. Under the circumstances, not to mock though, I felt it only seemed right. Tyson gave me a little smile and a nod. “I… I just want to say that I’m… I’m… uh, sorry…” I could already tell that he was struggling with his words. He managed to make them out and I felt his sincerity, but I knew he didn’t have long before he switched back to his old ways. “I was young an’ stupid… an’ I needed the money an’…” Dr. B cleared his throat and Tyson briefly looked over at him with a terrified expression. Tyson snapped back to me in a moment though. It made me wonder about the nature of their relationship and how it was different than with Dr. B and I. Tyson spoke up before long though. “That’s no excuse… but I’m truly sorry…” I sat in silence for a moment, taking it all in, but finally, I knew that at least part of me had to forgive him. It felt I should be knighted or sainted from that forgiveness, but it’s what Tyson needed to hear today. I realized that this session was just as much about his needs as it was my own. “It’s okay, Tyson. I blamed you for a long time, but I guess… well, I need to move on.” It wasn’t exactly an apology, and I felt I would be lectured about that later by Penelope, but for now, it seemed to suffice once I saw the relief wash over Tyson. Everything seemed okay, but I needed to know one more thing. “Uh, Tyson?” I could see that he was starting to slip back already, especially when he seemed deadest on toying with one of his fingers around his mouth. “I want to know… what happened to you?” Dr. B gave me a dirty look, and I guess I wasn’t supposed to ask that question, but I felt justified in wanting to know as a sort of price for my ‘forgiveness’ to Tyson today. “That’s kinda com-pli-ca-ted…” He had to sound out each sound in the word and I knew we didn’t have long. “Mitchell… the man with the tattoo cornered me after I showed weakness at your safehouse. It was my initiation that night, and because I had a heart, I failed… I’m such a faiwure…” From there, Tyson only regressed more and soon, a nurse had to escort him away due to his fussiness over sitting still for more than five minutes at a time. The monster I had long feared was no better than me… no better than the Littles I strived to look out for. While I didn’t take my anger out on him today, I could still feel it bubbling up inside of me, but Dr. B’s method had worked. I no longer feared Tyson dolling his own justice to me out on the street. And a few days passed over me like that. I did my duty, and I even hired a new Big woman to come in to help around the safehouse. I decided to be completely upfront with her, after she signed an NDA, about my condition. She understood everything, and just to be sure, I even made sure she knew that Penelope would step in a moment’s notice if needed. Everything felt fine outwardly, but I still felt an underlying surge that I couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t until the end of about my third week after the injection that I embarrassingly realized what that surge feeling inside of me was. I quickly found Penelope. “Penelope?” She spun around from her task of making more cookies for tonight. Around here, they were practically currency to misbehaving Littles. Withhold a cookie at the right time and the unruliest Little could bend to your will. I think she could see my face mixed-up with all kinds of conflicting emotions. “Is everything okay, Tiffany? Did something happen?” I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I wasn’t being difficult like some Little withholding the truth, but I really wasn’t sure if I was feeling okay or not. “I…” I didn’t want to admit it out loud at first, but this was Penelope. I felt a trust with her that could have only been formed int the most embarrassing of circumstances. “I want to go back to Adulescens.” Penelope immediately stopped and turned around to fully face me in frozen horror and panic. I knew what was going through her mind before she even asked it. “Oh no… you’re regressing again, aren’t you?” She threw her hands up in the air and seemed to curse the world itself. “I knew we should have gone to see Tysons! Why didn’t we just wait until the month was over?” I quickly walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. “Easy, Pen…” It felt strange for me to be the one calming her down for once. “I’m not regressing. I just… maybe it’s some leftover from the drug, but Adulescens… it feels like a safe place for me… a place where I can just relax and calm down. No stress or anything. Does that make sense?” I quickly worried that Penelope was going to think of me as some kind of freak for ever wanting to go back there as a point of relaxation, but instead, she just smiled… clearly relieved. “Oh! Well then… that’s no issue at all!” I could tell she wanted to hug me like she used to, but I could also see her stopping herself, likely reminding herself that I wasn’t regressed anymore. We were just friends… not carer and infantilized former boss. So, everything seemed smooth and easy as we informed Mildred of our intentions. I could tell that part of her wanted to actually go there as well, just to see the place she had been hearing about for so long, and I swear I saw her and Penelope whisper something to each other. It almost sounded like Mildred telling Penelope that maybe some other time they could be the ones to go… just themselves, but I quickly put that out of my mind. For the moment, I knew I just needed to clear my mind and get ready to be pampered… literally tonight. Like we had done for so long by now, though not as much since the experimental injection, Penelope drove me to the same dingy spot where Adulescens was located. With a mostly unincumbered mind now, I found it sad that people like us had to hide away from the rest of society. We represented the needy, and I felt that if our society’s relentless pursuit of technology was the reason this place was needed at all, we shouldn’t be shamed for it… but I at least knew Indianapolis wasn’t ready for this kind of talk yet. Maybe one day though… Regardless, once again and just like an old habit by now, Penelope and I repeated the pass phrase to enter inside, dropped off our purses and coats and then entered. Like always, Adulescens seemed like part nightclub and part nursery. Coming a little later, I could already make out others like one of Dr. B’s colleagues, Dr. Penrose, and Colin. Unlike most other times though, when Dr. Penrose saw us, he seemed panicked and quickly rushed over to us. “That’s weird…” Penelope mused. “I wonder what’s got him so bothered?” I nodded and was about to say something, but I quickly spotted why. Over in the corner, playing and even laughing, was the regressed figure of Tyson. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him there… not a care in the world. He even seemed… happy. “You two shouldn’t be here tonight,” Dr. Penrose warned as finally got to us. Penelope was about to ask why, but I just moved her head over to Tyson’s direction. “Yeah… I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Dr. Benson would normally be here as well, and I might think you two staying would be fine if he was, but he just got called away on another patient emergency.” “But she needs this tonight, Dr. Penrose,” Penelope tried to defend for me, as my eyes remained glued on the giggling figure not far from me. “I think Tyson unnerved her the other day and she wanted to come here for a little stress relief.” Penelope paused and looked at both me and Tyson. “I mean… maybe they could just stay apart?” Dr. Penrose didn’t say anything. Besides, I was far too in my own thoughts to really notice. I saw Tyson there… just playing and being happy. I felt like I was a tolerant person, but this… this didn’t seem like a punishment at all. It might have been petty, but I wanted to at least see Tyson suffer. From what I had seen the other day, that seemed guaranteed in his life, but seeing him here… I felt his punishment was nearly equal to mine. Sure, I had taken the experimental drug, but I still had to come here regularly beforehand to keep from collapsing altogether. Penelope still signed a form declaring me mentally unfit, of which the long-term consequences of that legal document were still unknown. Further, Inspector Gibson was still out there somewhere and would be back. She might have been looked down on harshly by her colleagues after her report, but I doubted she would be significantly more lenient the second time around either. Deep down, my pulse began to race. I could feel the sweat on my forehead and my breathing started to climb. I didn’t think of it as anything, being too focused at Tyson, but my stress levels were rising. What’s more, Penelope was too engrossed in trying to figure out a solution, and because I was showing signs of maturity, she had taken her eyes off me. That hadn’t been a problem, but tonight, I found myself drifting over to Tyson. I wanted to meet him head on, no matter how much the rest of me screamed not to, seeing it as a truly horrible idea. But tonight, my emotions pulled me ever closer to him. Still garbed in my normal clothing, sans a diaper underneath it all still, however, I semi-stood out from most of the others in Adulescens tonight. Sundresses, shortalls, onesies, or even just diapers were the main garments of tonight, but Moro was a strange drug. I knew that firsthand, and I knew that it tended to focus one’s attention on only the object in front of them. Everything was in the moment and there was no past or future. Even if a carer went out of their way to comfort a regressed Big on Moro one minute, if the regressed Big was hurt the next, all that previous comfort didn’t matter. As such, no one saw me getting closer to the group of Littles in the main play area until I was already within arm’s length of them. “Oh?” Tyson noticed me first and I froze. “You a new fwiend awoun’ here?” His broken speech notwithstanding, it was hard to judge just how badly he was regressed here. The Moro drug everyone was required to take upon entering, unless you were a caregiver, meant that he could have been bad enough off to not realize who I was, but I just wasn’t sure. My mind flaring up with rage already over his apparent ease of life, I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. “You don’t know me?” I asked, venom laced behind each of my words. “How can you not know me?” Fortunately, Colin and another regressed Big, Warren, were there and had seen me around here before. Warren had been a judge of some sort and who presided over a criminal case where the defendants poisoned and crippled his mind in retaliation. He wasn’t as much of a talker here, but Colin was. “Duh! Don’ you know dem, Ty? Dis iss Tiffy!” Colin smiled broadly, and from what I could remember, we had been fast friends here. It almost felt good to have someone that loyal and friendly to speak up for me here, but I quickly saw confusion begin to cloud his face. “Where’s all youw cwothes, Tiffy? You not pwayin’ tonigh’?” I felt like I was caught red-handed for being here without the Moro, but my rage over Tyson pushed me forward. “I just wanted to see how my friends were doing tonight!” I lied. I didn’t like it, but it was easier than the truth. Shrugging, Colin went back to building his tower, but then the worst-case scenario happened. Being introduced as a friend, Tyson, if he truly didn’t remember me, now only saw me as a friend as well. In his mind, a friend of his friend, was his friend as well. It didn’t work like that in the ‘real’ world most of the time, but Tyson didn’t know that tonight. So, he scooched on his padded rear over to me. For my part, I was a bit distracted by a sudden shout from the other side of the room from Dr. Penrose to Penelope. My sight shot over there immediately, but a tugging on my pants quickly popped me back. Incensed already, I looked down to see who was bothering me. It was Tyson… “Pway wiff me, Tiffy?” If everything had been normal and I had never been given that first shot by the tattooed man, I would have seen that Tyson was only trying his best and trying to play nice with me. I probably would have just thought of him as another poor soul that I should just treat like a Little. I would have played with him and cooed to him and maybe even have appointed myself to ensuring he was looked after here. But I had been injected with that first shot. In that single moment in front of an admittedly regressed, and likely not responsible for their actions, Big holding a wooden block up to me, all my previous emotions of hate, anger, fear, sadness… all of them reached a boiling point within my mind. Justice or a hail of bullets had taken care of the rest of the criminals responsible for that fateful night, but Tyson was still here. Tyson still seemed free. Regressed, maybe, but I had shared the same fate, so calling it a punishment felt wrong to me as well. My ego was still recovering, so I couldn’t shatter it once more. Now, seeing such a simple act, displayed with no remorse or sadness whatsoever, put me over the edge. “No!” I screamed at Tyson. I didn’t realize it, but the whole of Adulescens stopped what they were doing and looked over at me. Tyson didn’t seem to know what to do, but I was still furious at him, mentally regressed or not. I snatched the block away and threw it across the room. I didn’t see the several pairs of shoes quickly shuffling over to me. “Damn you, Tyson! Why did you have to do that to me that night?” I wailed. “What did I ever do to you? What could have made you so broken that you had to break into a place called a safehouse and hurt everyone inside? What kind of a person aligns themselves with a criminal element that is dead set on finding and likely killing or torturing a Little just for the sins of their adoptive father? What did Willy ever do to you? What did I?” I dropped to the floor and clenched my fist in Tyson’s shocked and wilting face. “What kind of stupid, messed-up Big did you have to be, and why couldn’t you have just left me one place in the whole city where I’m not reminded of everything wrong in my life in the past year?” Tyson’s lower lip, trembling the whole time, finally released and his unearthly sobs racked the whole area. A part of me felt guilty, but my emotional build-up had been too much to simply turn around now. I needed to exact my barbs into him as much as I could. I wanted to push forward, but I was so focused on him, that I didn’t realize it was already over… I just didn’t know it yet. “And another thing! You just sit here all happy without a care in the world? Where’s the justice in that? Where my jus…?” “That’s enough!” Dr. Penrose yanked me up from my crouched position in front of Tyson and glared angrily at me. I quickly knew I had messed up, even when another Big was able to swoop in and calm Tyson down. I was surrounded on all sides by Bigs. I gulped in fear as I realized how badly I had just messed up… justified or not. “Take it easy, Dr. Penrose,” Penelope said, holding the other arm back that hadn’t pulled me off the ground. Once again, she was coming to my rescue. “It’s just a bunch of emotions flying about. Nothing criminal.” “Fine…” Dr. Penrose then let go of my shoulder and nearly snarled at me. “Still, you didn’t take the Moro tonight and you definitely aren’t a caregiver around here, missy.” Despite my recent bounce back in maturity, I quickly felt like a naughty child being scolded too. “Further, you verbally assaulted another Little for actions that he clearly isn’t aware of right now. You clearly need to talk about this more, and rest assured, Dr. Benson will be getting a full report of this, but for now, you both just need to go.” “I’m sorry…” was about all I managed to make out as my anger towards Tyson soon gave way to despair and tears. All of this felt so unfair still and Tyson had been a painful reminder of that. Penelope, ever my savior and guardian, gently pulled me away. We were assured at the door that weren’t banned by any means, but everyone tonight needed a cooling off period. Dr. Penrose, despite his anger at me still bubbling under the surface for what I had said to Tyson, called me leaving tonight as my ‘timeout.’ Ashamed over my outburst, I let Penelope guide me out and put me in the car. During the drive back, not a single word was spoken. I could see a concerned Penelope constantly looking over at me and was on the verge of asking me if I was okay, but I just turned away from her every time she did so. I needed my space tonight and I felt that talking to her would have made everything far too real and would have been a moment of unraveling for me that I wasn’t sure if I could come back from or not. Unfortunately, as we pulled up to the safehouse, we saw an unfamiliar car parked there as well. Curious, we both walked inside. Entering, there, seated in front of Mildred, was Inspector Gibson. “Good evening, ladies.” I’m pretty sure that both Penelope and I gulped. Of all the times she could have shown up, this was the absolute worst, and we both knew it. “I’m sorry,” Mildred said, her eyes pleading for us to make sure we got this right, that everything was still going to be okay, and that I had gotten the relaxation I needed to pull this off. I felt she was going to be disappointed. “I tried to tell her you were away and that it was late, but…” “But I told her that these after inspections can come whenever,” Inspector Gibson interrupted rudely without a care in the world. Despite their simplicity, I nearly felt the hate pouring out of her words. I wondered what we had ever done to get this type of treatment from her, but regardless, she seemed determined to fail us. “Besides, your home passed the inspection. Something tells me that your staff was more responsible for that than you though…” She squinted at Mildred in front of her and Penelope by my side, almost as if she was looking for subtle hints that her guesses were correct. “Anyways… tonight is just an interview for you, Tiffany.” I nodded, but my knees trembled with fear as I walked over to her and then sat down as Mildred got up. Penelope escorted her from the room, and just out of Inspector Gibson’s view, she made sure to gesture that both of them would be nearby… just in case. It was a nice gesture, but I couldn’t help but feel the dread seep into every fiber of my being as once again, as Inspector Gibson pulled out her tablet and began writing her notes. She had warned Penelope and Mildred to stay away under penalty for failure of the inspection, so for now, I horribly felt all alone. “Now, shall we begin?” She had brought her face up, and I swore that she was smiling at the fear that I was displaying in front of her. I looked for any compassion, but I didn’t find any, so I just nodded, hoping to end the interview as soon as possible. Now, at first, I actually did pretty well. Inspector Gibson’s questions might have stumped the regressed version of myself, but now, even through the emotional turmoil I was still going through after seeing Tyson at Adulescens and my fear over her mere presence, I was able to answer them directly. For a moment, she even seemed impressed with my answers. “Okay, where were you tonight?” Her question came out of the blue and I was completely unprepared for it. “Uh, are you even allowed to ask that question?” I felt it wasn’t part of her purview… safehouse overseers did have a life sometimes outside of here, but her insistent face told me that she knew something that I didn’t. She scoffed. “Maybe in a normal interview… but not this one. As my initial report back to you stated, there were enough red flags in your profile that I ‘ve been some leeway into my questions for tonight.” I almost felt like she was gloating… but I can admit that it could have been my imagination as well. “So, again, where were you tonight? An overseer gone with one of her staff members for a long period of time while only leaving a… well, a Middle in charge… it brings into question your ability to lead. So… where were you?” I wasn’t sure how to answer her, but the mere thought of Adulescens made my heart start to race. I could feel the emotional build-up once more. Worse, as I tried to think of an answer, I started to feel the need for Miss Pink once more. Trying to push it out of my mind though, I simply answered, “Out… with Penelope.” “Hmmm… Penelope…” I could see the answer rattle around in her mind, but in the end, she didn’t seem satisfied. “And what or who else? Before you answer with another vague answer though, hold anything back now and I might think you’re trying to hide something from me.” ‘Poopy! No… not poopy… shit!’ I briefly panicked over that little slip inside my own head, but I definitely felt like she was onto me about Adulescens. ‘Did she already know?’ It was one of my biggest fears, but trying to go on the offensive, I shot back. “I don’t think it’s any of your business. It was a private matter!” Inspector Gibson glared back at me. “Private, huh? If you stick with that story, I’m going to have to mark the question down as an SF6, which means it requires further investigation due to suspicions of illegal activity. I send that report in, and this place gets torn apart or all your movements tonight will be tracked. Is that what you want in your life next?” I could feel her pressing in on me with her question. I felt trapped and I could feel my emotions well up inside of me. I tried desperately to keep them inside and to keep a cool head. “No…” “Then tell me!” she barked. “I can’t!” I didn’t want her to know but I didn’t want to go to jail over something like this. I mean, that was a possibility, right? ‘Or is that just a fear that I’m making up?’ I couldn’t tell and that only made me more scared. She then sighed and tossed her tablet on the table in disgust. “You know… I’ve just about had it with this safehouse.” She then stood up and began looking around the dining room before placing her hand on one of the walls that had previously been damaged. “These walls have seen a lot, and I know there are good people here, but like the patchwork over the damage from the explosion here that night when all this started, it’s just a façade. Underneath…” She then turned to me. “It’s just damaged or was simply rotten to the core in the first place.” I wanted to speak up or at least defend the place I had given so much for, but my words just didn’t come. Unfortunately, my silence only seemed to upset her more. By now, Inspector Gibson was probably just taking my silence as an admission of guilt or a confirmation that something else was going on here. There was something more, but she was headed in the wrong direction with her thinking. It was something legal in this house but that that was hurting this place… it was me… me and my stupid regression. A wave of despair hit me again and despite my own wants, I could feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks. Gibson noticed right away. “Holy shit! It must be something huge!” I could see the glee in her eyes as she looked at me more closely. I could barely look back at her, but I was starting to get the opinion that the handling of the Safehouse 81 case was going to be a big step in her career. “They’ll definitely see me now back at the office…” She grinned wickedly down at me. “Oh! You just made my day!” In that moment, right as Inspector Gibson started to go on a rant about me going to jail and the safehouse being shut down, something just snapped inside of me. Her threats were all falsehoods or even outright lies, but not being able to speak back to her, they just piled on and I felt something awful beginning to boil inside of me. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but I soon realized that it was all the emotions that I had been holding back were now bubbling to the surface all at once. While that had happened in front of Tyson at Adulescens earlier, Dr. Penrose had yanked me away before things got really nasty. Here, it felt that Penelope and Mildred burst into the room too late. “That’s enough!” Penelope shouted back at Inspector Gibson. The cruel inspector nearly jumped back from me; her face full of surprise that someone else would intervene in this process when they were already warned not to. “This interview is over!” Seemingly recovering from her initial shock at Penelope and Mildred’s entrance into the room, Inspector Gibson snapped back. “I don’t think so! This is an official investigation, and you aren’t the overseer here. Your uninvited arrival into this room and your overseers potentially illegal activities and now seemingly breakdown lead me no other choice but then to fail this safehouse, once and for all.” The room was silent for a moment, but the shock of her wording hit me more than anything else she had threatened or warned me about. A failure now would be a critical step that would be nearly impossible to appeal later. In one swift movement, Safehouse 81 was terminated and all my fears hit me in the chest that they would now become a reality. A second later, I burst into tears. I knew I shouldn’t be bursting into tears so easily, but I just couldn’t help myself anymore. It made me scared, and that just led to more tears. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t get out of. Once again, Gibson noticed my latest action and wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Oh, for the love of…” Inspector Gibson looked at me like some freak of nature. It didn’t help my sobs as everything started to break within me. “Shut it, lady!” Penelope stepped in front of her, and after making sure that Mildred was already comforting me, she turned to me and whispered, “I’m sorry.” I was too emotionally wrecked tonight to register it, but soon, Penelope turned back around to Inspector Gibson. “Now, you listen to me right now.” She was even pointing at Inspector Gibson now to emphasize her wording. “You’ve been cruel and unfair to us, but Tiffany here has only been the face of Safehouse 81. The Littles trust her and her name goes a long way in this city now. She saved a Littles life and that counts for something.” She paused and took a breath. “Unfortunately, that heroism and care for the Littles here came at a cost.” I couldn’t believe everything was unfolding like this, but I couldn’t do anything about it. “She was drugged and since then has been regressing. As such, I have largely taken over the safehouse operations here and even acted as a defacto guardian of Tiffany when she becomes like this… like in times of great stress.” She then squinted her eyes and pointed accusatorily at her. “Today, that stress is mostly you.” Inspector Gibson seemed baffled for a moment, but readjusted herself, and glared back at the three of us regardless. “Doesn’t matter. It’s still a failure in my book.” Penelope sighed and glared back at her. “Look, lady. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but there is no way this will pass.” She then pointed back at me. “Tiffany is no longer in charge, so your report is nullified anyways. You need to do another inspection later to accommodate that change. Just do that, and this can simply end as peacefully as it can tonight.” Right then, I realized I was losing everything today no matter what… even if somehow Penelope could reverse Gibson’s decision, it was all over. Fearing that as my last straw to a guaranteed shock to my system and forever doom me, I tried to protest, but Mildred was ready for that possibility already. In moments, she reached into her pocket, popped the lid off, and then stuck an oversized pink pacifier into my mouth. I quickly wondered how long it had been in there, but my thoughts became focused on something even more troubling. To my shame and horror, even when I tried, I couldn’t spit it out. Worse, my body seemed to take over and I started nursing on the bulb. To my shame, my emotions even started to calm down and with Mildred offering to hold me, I just collapsed in her arms and sucked away. Everything was going wrong, but now, most of my attention was quickly pulled away by the near hypnotic effect of the rhythmic pulsing going on between my lips. “See, Tiffany experiences momentary lapses like these,” Penelope continued to explain. “Surely, even someone like you can consider those as extenuating circumstances. After all, it’s a medical condition… not a personal choice by her.” Inspector Gibson now just seemed disturbed by it all and her scowl remained fixed. Getting up, she started shaking her head. “No, no, no. This place is condemned, and I’ll pull your certifications, classifications, and funding by the end of tomorrow. You’re finished, you hear?” Instead of panicking like I might have, Penelope only stood up as well and made sure to block the exit out of the living room. “I don’t think you’ll be doing that…” “Yeah?” It sounded like a challenge to me. “You going to do something about it?” Penelope nodded. “What? You’re just some lacky number two at a dying safehouse. You have no power here!” Penelope smirked. “That’s where you’re wrong…” She then pointed back to me. “Remember that toxic substance she got dose with? Well, tuns out that it’s military grade… government manufactured. It gets out that we’ve been shut down, people are going to ask questions. Lots of questions.” Gibson’s eyes widened at the implication. “Questions get asked and the government is going to find out.” Penelope smiled and leaned over to Gibson. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you about what they do to keep their secrets.” Horrified, she quickly nodded, her words seemingly leaving her completely now for the first time since she had arrived here. “They’ll make sure we’re all safe no matter what happens, but as for you?” Inspector Gibson just looked terrified now. If I wasn’t so focused on my pacifier, I might have even cheered with just how much on a roll Penelope was on now. “If Safehouse 81 is closed, it will by reported why as I said, and we will be fine… but the person responsible for closing it based on one inspection…? Well, the government will find them.” Penelope narrowed her eyes to the scared inspector. “Our government can be great… but they usually don’t take too kindly to information leaks or embarrassments like this very well at all, hmmm? Don’t you think so too?” Inspector Gibson didn’t move a muscle for a moment, but I saw her face change and she sighed. I knew it from any person as a sigh of defeat. She knew she had been beaten by Penelope in every way that mattered in these cases and now had no other choice. So, finally, she asked a question I would have never thought come out of her mouth. “What do you want? How can I make this right?” Penelope smiled in her own triumphant way. Inspector Gibson had been bested. “Tiffany is excellent with the Littles here still and doesn’t represent any danger to them. As such, she will stay on in whatever capacity I choose,” Penelope said gleefully. I questioned the capacity part, but everything considered, I knew my complaints were likely just irrelevant by now. “Also, you will note your findings as only positive from tonight and will pass us and never bother us again, understood?” Her full authority carer voice was on display and seeing Inspector Gibson act so small and meek now was a true delight. Again, I might have said something more in the background or have felt more of a joy in my heart, but the price to get here had been me. Me sucking on a pacifier in contentment as my tears slowed was only a testament to that. Signing off, Inspector Gibson left sorrowfully, but as soon as Penelope closed the door on her, she rushed back to me. “Oh, Tiffany! Are you okay?” I didn’t have the strength to move or even acknowledge her question. Despite the pacifier’s effects, I felt about the complete opposite of okay now. “She still hasn’t said a word, Pen…” Mildred said with sorrow. “Do you think that maybe…?” Penelope sighed and grimaced. “I just don’t know, Mil…” She then turned back to me. “I’m sorry for what I said tonight, but I felt that I had no choice.” She looked away and seemed full of sadness. “Dr. B and I were talking before when you were doing so poorly before your last shot, and he told me that I would have to take over here because some politicians are pushing that any caregivers experiencing regression could be prosecuted for ‘Little endangerment.’ Despite what I said about the government, I just couldn’t take the risk of having that happen to you after tonight.” “So, what does this mean for her?” Mildred questioned, her hand running through my hair, seemingly as way to actually calm us both down over what we had just witnessed. “Were you being serious about her staying here still?” Penlope nodded. “I was. Tiff, no matter what, I want you to remain here as head of the safehouse for now. Tonight could just be a glitch and gone by tomorrow morning, but when necessary, I’ll simply step in. No matter what happens tomorrow though, I’ll be here for you, okay?” I didn’t respond, but I did feel a little better about everything. “And that goes for me as well,” Mildred added as she gripped my arm in a way to show her support to me. Despite all the reassurances, I felt myself starting to doze off from the turmoil my emotions had caused. Mildred and Penelope saw, smiled at each other, and then led me up the stairs to my room. As they laid me on the bed, both went right to work as if things had never changed from before my last experimental shot. It filled me with an untold amount of sadness, but their gentle movements, kind gestures, and soothing words also felt just as equally comforting. Then, as Penelope changed my diaper into my thicker nighttime version, Mildred pulled at a bag I had never seen before from underneath my bed. From it, she pulled out a footed sleeper, perfectly sized for me. After snapping my thin sleep onesie up, they both then placed me in the sleeper and zipped it up around me. The purple plush encased me in a warmth and comfort I hadn’t known in years… decades even. It was a small comfort in my wreck of a life now but tucking me in and giving me Miss Pink to hold tightly, I knew I had to take my wins where I could. “Goodnight, Tiffy,” they said together. “We can talk more tomorrow, and hopefully you’ll be better then, but if not, know that we’ll always be here for you. Until then, sweet dreams, sweetie…” My room instantly turned black as they flicked off my lights, with only a small glow coming from my small castle-shaped nightlight in the corner of my room, an object that I had yet to remove from my life. Now, my thoughts of despair creeping in, I felt I would very much need it in the days to come. But I knew that was my life as I cuddled deeply into my blankets and Miss Pink. Ever since I had been first injected by the tattooed man, I had been on a downward trajectory. Any moments of maturity since then sadly just had to be seen as only flukes. Instead of who I was before, wrapped up and safely tucked away in my footed pajamas and a diaper felt like where I really belonged now. Despite everything in the past few weeks, my adult life felt so very far away. Big girls don’t simply revert back to a babyish state in a matter of hours… As if to quell any doubts that I had about that notion, I felt a fresh warmth in my diaper. In an odd way, all things considered, it now felt a familiarity in my life that made me feel better in most ways. It represented loss, yes, but it also represented the safety of my diaper, the attention it took to ensure I didn’t leak, and the care of Penelope in her application of it around my feeble body. It was an odd sort of resignation to be comforted in those things I suppose but it also reminded me that Penelope had been my world this whole time. I could have mourned my losses, but she was still here. In all this, she was my constant and that made me happy. Further, she was moving ahead of me in the world and treating me like any other Little here, but she was good at her job. It’s why I had brought her on. She just had a way with Littles, and while I could be sad that I could now realistically lump myself in with them, there was a strange sort of comfort in it as well. She would be there for me in the morning, and after today, to me now, that’s all that seemed to matter. Cured or not, with her by my side, I knew that everything was going to be okay. As sleep took me, I just didn’t know what state I would be in when I woke up… But, that was another worry for yet another day.

You are correct! Just look at who said it...

Hey everyone! With only two chapters to go after this one, the time for the poll for what I should write next is running out. Story descriptions can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2 for those of you wanting a refresher by now, but remember, this poll will close as soon as I post the final chapter. The results so far can change dramatically, but only if you all vote that way. Just in case any of you need the link again though, I have posted it below. https://strawpoll.com/kjn1D82kAyQ As I said, the time for this poll is running out due to the fact the final chapter is soon approaching. By now, unless something terrible happens, I should be able to post the final chapter by the end of this week (likely Thursday at this juncture). If something changes beyond that plan, I will let you all know. Lastly, as always, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 10: Shots to the System Time was running out. It may have been an exaggeration concocted up by my frantic mind, but I felt I was getting prone to those types of fears more and more lately as I plummeted back into the abyss of my own regression. I had been so triumphant before, but between Inspector Gibson, her poorly received inspection, and the fact that Tyson was still out there somewhere and possibly on the hunt for me, waiting to finish me off, I was practically a wreck all the time now. I could conceal it and just go numb part of the time, but it was taking its toll on my previous advancement beyond my regression. It was starting to show whether I wanted it to or not. Further, I was starting to resign to it… just not fully quite yet. “Please, you need to help me!” I begged Dr. Benson, after Penelope and I went to his office again today. I had become desperate, and I was now literally on my knees begging and pleading with the man for any sign of hope or cure for what I had inside his office. “Tiffany Glifford! That’s no way to behave in front of the good doctor!” Penelope scolded me. She was my friend until the end of everything by now, but some days, I could tell her patience was thinning with me. In truth, I wasn’t even sure anymore why she let me be in charge still, but I suppose she had been making ground over me since last week with the inspection. “It’s okay, Penelope,” Dr. Benson said, clearly trying to deescalate the tension between us. He warned me privately during a previous session when Penelope was in the bathroom that her instincts might flare from time to time as she took care of me in greater swathes. I was humiliated back then, but lately… I’ve been relying on Penelope for a lot of things these days. What’s more, even with Dr. Benson on my side currently, or at least in a neutral position, I still wanted to and ultimately obeyed Penelope. I couldn’t resist her anymore when she gave me an order for some odd reason… “I’m sorry…” Despite Dr. Benson’s intentions to calm the tension down between us, Penelope was already upset at me for acting so needy recently and being a real brat about it. I felt justified in that need and that I was a pain going about it, but I still felt like a naughty child, especially now kneeling on the floor like this. It was shameful and as my brief temporary mental regression passed, I knew I was in the wrong… once again. Dr. Benson sighed when Penelope only nodded and jerked her fingers backward at me, indicating for me to come back to her on the other side of the office on the double. I nearly crawled, but I reminded myself not to stoop that low. “I see that things are just getting worse, huh?” Penelope nodded and I wondered which instance she was thinking of to indicate that I had gotten worse. Maybe it was the fact that I rarely stayed dry for any length of time anymore, or the fact that I constantly found myself toying with my thumb around my lips or that most mornings I had found myself sucking it. Maybe it was the nightlight I just had to have in my room because of the scary shadows I thought I saw at night. Maybe it was when I consistently tuned into the Littles’ TV programs instead of helping pack their lunches for the following day. I wasn’t sure, but I knew she had plenty of examples to choose from regardless. Dr. Benson retreated to behind his desk and sat down in his padded chair. Penelope silently and sternly gestured to the seat beside her, and we both sat down on the other side of him. “Despite her behavior, doc, I can at least understand her begging in this case. Our current plan just isn’t working like it should anymore. We need something else.” I smiled, feeling the radiant warmth come off my friend and recent carer. Her patience with me might have been tested more recently, but she was still my advocate in nearly every matter. With her defending me here now, I felt a sense of calm that somehow, despite everything else seemingly to the contrary, things could possibly just work out in the end. Dr. Benson exhaled loudly. “Yeah… I was sadly thinking the same thing.” He then reached down into one of his side drawers and pulled out a file. Compared to most of the others I had seen from there since I had started coming here, it seemed relatively small. “This is what I’ve been able to find on what she was stuck with that night… it’s not much.” “So, what does that mean?” I could already see the gears clicking in Penelope’s head for what our next steps could be. She was the best at doing that. I used to be, but now… not so much. Dr. Benson laid the folder in front of him and opened it. “Well, it means that I need to do some more digging. I thought this drug worked on the principles of every other regression drug out there… or at least that was what I was led to believe at first. Now… I’m not so sure.” He looked at the flimsy pages inside for a moment before reclosing the file. “Let me reach out a bit further. I just met another doctor going through similar difficulties with his patients. He said he might have had a lead in the government in New Columbia when we last met, but it might take a day or two just to reach him.” Dr. Benson’s somber expression wasn’t lost on me. He was one of the smartest people I knew, but even he seemed stumped. It wasn’t comforting, but his reassuring smile soon returned. “I know all this must be extremely frustrating but have patience and let me reach out. Whatever he tells me and wherever it leads, I’ll let you know what’s going on before too long.” I wish that he had told us exactly what we needed to know the next day or even the day after, but instead, it was Inspector Gibson coming back to us with her initial results. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t an outright failure. Instead, she noted that a follow-up and a more specific interview and inspection would need to be done. Apparently, her poor report had raised some red flags on both her end and ours, and the agency needed a more detailed report done that was focused on our ‘unique situation.’ It wasn’t horrible news, but it wasn’t great, and I’m sure that it didn’t help with matters three days later either. “I’m… uh, back?” Vivian, our long-departed colleague burst through the doors initially with a wide smile. Normally, she would be greeted by every Little and staff member on call after such a long sabbatical away. Instead, she was greeted with the now usual chaos of the safehouse, and me… sitting in front of the TV and watching Princess Poppy. Her confusion and concern were immediately evident. “What in the…?” I saw her come in, and I might have been mortified to be caught in my current state, but with everything else going on, she had caught me on one of my ‘bad days.’ Like Timmy used to have and Seth still had, I now had ‘bad days’ as well and for me, that meant I didn’t care how I looked in front of others anymore… even an employee I hadn’t seen in a while. “Oh! Hiya Vivy!” “Vivy? My name is Vivian… I mean, uh, Miss G? What… what the heck is going on here?” I could tell her head was scrambling to make sense of exactly what was going on, but I could tell it was an uphill battle that she was quickly losing. “I don’t understand… did something happen? I thought Penelope’s message said that you were fine now. She even said we got inspected and…” “Vivian!” Penelope once again came to my rescue. Princess Poppy was more important anyways. I needed to do research for a themed event we were going to have next week. Jonathan was even sitting next to me, glued to the screen as well. Lately, he had finally pushed past his own silliness and stubbornness and was actually having a good time with everything lately. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Penelope usher Vivy away. She seemed upset and then angry and then I saw her eyes fixate on me like a scientist might over a specimen to be studied. Not caring too much now that Penelope had it covered, I quickly refocused on Princess Poppy. It seemed more interesting… more relaxing. Halfway through though, Vivy came back up to me. “Miss… uh, Tiffany?” I looked back up at her, slightly annoyed that she was interrupting Princess Poppy. I mean, she was explaining the next adventure! ‘Who interrupts something like that?’ Everyone who watched the show in any capacity knew that the beginning was some of the most important content to watch until the end. There was always a hidden clue that could lead you to understand the final mystery or question of the show. I always caught and it made me feel proud that I could. “Whatcha watching?” I sighed and despite my annoyance at her interrupting, I also knew she was making an attempt to bond with me at this new level of mine. She knew what the show was, and I knew that, but I could also see a hopeful yet nervous-looking Penelope nearby looking on at us. Sighing, I knew I had to play along. “Just Princess Poppy, Vivy. It’s a pretty great show.” “I bet it is…” I could still see Vivy’s concerned glare and I knew she was trying, but I knew it wouldn’t last. She just had a look behind her eyes that told me she was only doing this so she could still get a good reference from here when she ultimately left. There was effort, but I’m not sure how much desire she still had to stay here with everything going on now. “Did you miss us much?” I didn’t really care about Vivy anymore, but I was at least curious about that. Admittedly, she was a solid member of our team, but she had left in our greatest time of need. If I was still who I used to be, we would have had a very serious talk right about now. “Uh, yeah actually. Tons.” For the first time since she had walked in, she smiled. “The beaches in Gaule were amazing! They weren’t lying when they said they were some of the best in all of Europa.” She smiled, but despite her happiness, I could only feel a slight stabbing sense of hate and envy toward her. I always wanted to go to those beaches, but now? ‘How would I even be treated there anymore? I don’t think a swim diaper would be the best attire at those places… not to mention the sand getting everywhere… and then Miss Pink. Could I even bring her?’ “I’m glad…” I lied. “Lots been going on here ya’ know since you’ve been gone…” “I heard…” I could see the regret in her face, but for me at this point, it almost seemed like it was too little, too late. “I wanted to come back sooner but…” A large and long hissing noise could then be heard. To anyone in the know, a diaper was being used to its full purpose. It stopped Vivy in her tracks mid-sentence. She was always a good carer here… I had to give her that at least, and now, her eyes shifted around to each of the Littles to determine who it was. The best carers anticipated a problem before it happened, and she was returning to her old instincts here. Curious, I looked too. The way that Gina was perched, her diaper clearly showed from her seat on the couch, and I could see that she was still dry… mostly. Harry, Timmy, and Seth were all in the dining room working on some craft project to keep them occupied instead of rough housing around the place anymore. Jonathan wasn’t wearing any pants whatsoever, a byproduct of spilling his juice all over himself… hence his current sippy cup, but his diaper was already wet… and wasn’t getting any wetter. Vivy’s eyes then slowly landed on me, and I think we both realized the hissing, despite slowing down, was much louder… much closer. Curious and not even thinking, I lifted my skirt up and saw the discolored diaper hanging low on my hips. I needed a change, but it could still wait. Still, I had an accident, and I hadn’t even realized it, but I knew it was just beyond my control now. A teensy bit embarrassed, but trying to make light of it, I looked up at Vivy and gave her a playful smile. I couldn’t help it, and for me, it was just another day around here lately. “Whoopsie!” Vivy’s eyes bulged wide. “Nope! I can’t do it!” She quickly got up and frowned at Pennelope after throwing her arms up in the air in resignation. “I tried to do this P… I really did, but this?” Her judgmental face shot back at me, and I slowly lowered my skirt in shame. I knew I shouldn’t have done that, but I wanted to see for myself. ‘Why was Vivy being so touchy about something that didn’t even affect her? How rude…’ Still, Penelope flashed me an angry face before she tried to reason with Vivy. It didn’t work. Vivy handed in her notice that night, and while I could tell Penelope was a bit upset at me over the whole matter, I could see her relief as well. She had been an unknown factor in all this and at least now it was over. Jackie could still be a problem, but Penelope, Mildred, and I talked about her last week when I was having one of my ‘good days.’ We figured that she probably knew by now and might have even taken her vacation to clear her head and then come back fresh. She was less of a stick in the mud than Vivy and had a big heart that knew no boundaries for those in need of help. Knowing what I had endured, chances were that she would be okay with it… just like everyone else had been in the safehouse so far as well. After my breakdown on the day of the inspection and in front of all the Littles, it was only natural that most of them questioned what was going on with me. Penelope and Mildred briefly thought they should lie and bribe them again, but that night, I could feel my condition getting worse. Maybe it was the stress or some latent effect of the shot, but despite my regimen of the Moro and three times a week at Adulescens, once again, I was regressing. Now, I knew it was only a matter of time before an incident like that had happened earlier happened again. Besides, I really hated lying to them. So, the following day after lunch, I came back downstairs and told everyone what was really happening to me. To my surprise, all the Littles mostly just questioned if I was still going to be able to lead their parades to the park or make them lunch. There was no judgment or mutiny… just concern and a questioning over whether or not they should still come to me for things like diaper changes or snack time. Penelope and Mildred set a few rules down on the spot to ease their confusion, and I felt more like a young babysitter around here now than an administrator, but moments like me lifting my dress in front of Vivy either elicited no response from the rest of the Littles or a passing ‘put your skirt down Miss G…’ from Jonathan or Seth when they even cared, which lately, was becoming less and less. Maybe I was more equal to all of them now, but despite my nightmares about them treating me cruelly once they knew, to my relief, it was just the opposite. So, time pushed onward at the safehouse. My outfits, though possibly appearing adult to the outside world in some sense, all became designed for easy diaper changes and comfort. Penelope insisted but also made sure that nothing was too obvious to the public to raise alarm or make the headlines of a diapered and regressing safehouse administrator Big. Still, my nightly despairs over my losses in life weighed heavily on Penelope and after more insistent calls to Dr. Benson, he was finally ready to present his findings to us. I sat in the waiting room with Penelope. She was filling out some forms, as apparently, the information Dr. Benson had found required an NDA of some kind. It didn’t help my nerves, but here at least, Penelope had started allowing me to bring Miss Pink along. I was petrified at first of anyone seeing me like this with her in the waiting room, but I quickly realized a few visits ago that everyone in here had their own problems and that there was a zero-judgement policy in place. Four doctors shared this office, and I each had their own specialty within the Big community of ‘science gone awry.’ One was a geneticist, and his patients always seemed to be cloaked or covered in some way and were quick to come in and out of here. Most of the time, I heard strange noises coming from inside that office… a few even sounded like animals. The other two doctors were more focused on technology issues and their patients always seemed the most normal… until they didn’t. Today, one man had his prosthetic arm sealed in a box. The cover over it briefly slipped though and to my horror, I saw only wiggly metallic tentacles inside. I quickly ducked within the safety of Penelope and Miss Pink after that… And then there was Dr. B for more of the chemical and medical side of affairs. While at first, I hated the man and what he stood for, I soon realized that hate was only born from my fear of what seeing him would mean. It didn’t take long going to Adulescens however, to start viewing him as one of my few safe havens in this crazy world… a world where someone would even design a shot like the one that I had been injected with. Sitting here in my shortalls, thickly bulging around the waist and crotch, holding Miss Pink, and being distracted by Penelope’s phone playing Adventure Sam currently, I still cursed whoever thought of that shot in the first place. As my name was called and Penelope helped me to my feet, I just hoped I was about to find out and that there might just be good news attached to it. Sitting down behind his desk though and gesturing for us to sit in front of him with a sigh though, I feared the worst from Dr. B today. “So… I found out some things…” “Good things?” I asked, barely able to get the words out over my own fear. I felt I was already poised on the verge of a breakdown. I knew any type of bad news wouldn’t be handled well… Dr. B just sighed again for a moment. “Please, Dr. Benson… Tom…” Penelope pleaded. “Whatever the news… we want to know what it is. Not knowing at this point is just worse. For all I know, Tiff could get better tomorrow or suddenly get even worse. I just… I need to know.” Dr. B nodded. “No… you’re right, of course. I just… I was trying to think of a way to ease the news, but I think I should just tell you all and then go from there, okay? Everyone agreed?” Penelope and I both nodded our heads, and I clutched Miss Pink tightly. Dr. B then pulled out the file I had seen so much lately of the progress of my shot’s history. Last time, it was barely the width of two of his fingers. Now, it was at least three times that. “I found out more… a lot more, but half of what is in here, is also redacted. There’s a lot a don’t know still, but I can tell you that the shot was originally government funded.” “What?” Penelope was clearly shocked the Libertalian government would make something like that… especially if what it did to me, a formerly fully functioning Big, was the desired reaction. “How can that be? How could they be so stupid to make something like that up?” Dr. B shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. They’ve done it before… one of the reasons I formed an Adulescens location here in the first place. There’s more of them out in the country as well, but I felt our city needed it. Especially with what I found out with the ‘Galpin v. Boss Cardigan’ trial… the need was even more than I thought.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Penelope quickly asked. I questioned it as well, but I was too shocked by everything and trying to hold the swell of my unstable emotions back. Besides, Penelope had my best interests at heart. She always looked after me and made sure I was safe. I trusted her completely. Dr. B flipped to one spot in the thick file. “The trial unearthed a lot of dirt in this city. As you might imagine, there was some… fallout from it.” Penelope inched closer and I could tell she wanted to know more. Sadly, I could that Dr. B did as well. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you more, but suffice to say, in the past year, Tiffany here certainly isn’t alone in needing a place like Adulescens to go to.” The room was quiet for a moment, maybe other than my heaving breathing though. After rubbing my back for a moment, I could tell Penelope wanted to know more. “So, if she’s not the only one… then maybe there’s a cure?” Dr. B sighed and looked in pain for a moment. “I’m afraid not…” I nearly felt the wind and all the life within me sapped right out in a single second. “See, the criminal element in the city that was responsible for injecting Tiffany with the shot, got it from an illegal transport flying in from Honshu… where the drug actually is legal, just highly regulated for obvious reasons to both of you now.” We nodded. “Right… well, the contact in the government that I mentioned before revealed that this drug is nearly identical to one that was originally formed here.” Dr. B flipped to another part of the file. “It means that I know a lot about what Tiffany was injected with, but that there’s a rub here as well…” “And that is?” Penelope was leaning closer to Dr. B even more now. I could tell she wanted answers yesterday and was already impatient for the conclusion of all this, whatever it might be. Dr. B once again looked pained. I knew it wasn’t good news. “The shot she was injected with… it has no direct cure…” I immediately wailed out in horror. It was practically the worst-case scenario I could have heard. I felt like I was living in some nightmare that I never could wake up from. Penelope tried to comfort me and even pulled Miss Pink closer to me, but I could feel in her chaotic movements and mumbled panicking that she knew it was no use. This was terrible news, and we had always tried to prepare for that notion at bedtime just in case but hearing it out loud today was a different experience altogether. It made me question everything. From her own labored breathing, I knew Penelope was starting to get desperate for anything. “Surely there has to be something that we can do! There just can’t be nothing.” She paused and stroked my hair as she pulled me in closer with my seat and cradled my head in her lap. “I mean, we have interdimensional travel. What’s a little curative shot compared to that?” Dr. Benson exhaled loudly. “Quite a lot I’m afraid.” From my tears, I could just make out him flipping to another page in the file. “I don’t have all the specifics, but basically, the shot creates a Little-like mindset in the Bigs injected with it and the feeling only grows when they are subject to bouts of extreme happiness, stress, or despair. It creates a loop, and I’m afraid by now, there’s nothing I can really do…” I sobbed loudly again. “Shhh, shhh. It’ll be okay, sweetie…” Penelope was trying to console me as best she could, but even I could hear through my own distress that her voice was one of resignation rather than hope. “Please doctor… please. I’ll do anything…” Dr. B didn’t respond. “Don’t just sit there and stare at me! Say something!” I half expected Dr. B to yell at her to calm down and scold her even, but he didn’t. “I understand your frustration, Penny… despite our talks and our own private sessions, I admire it even, but I have to question one thing in all this.” He paused and I could only imagine the intrigue for Penelope since she didn’t retort. “I know you are Tiff’s friend by now, but if this continues without some further miracle, you must have thought about becoming the leader of the safehouse.” He paused and I could just make out his gaze shifting to me through my tears. He was talking about me like I wasn’t here, but my wrecked emotions had made me numb to all else. “Plus, she seems to be moving into a territory where she will need to be led rather to be a leader herself.” “Is there a question in there, doc?” Penelope asked with some disdain. Dr. B smiled. “Yes, there is… my question is why haven’t you acted on this information yet?” I felt a betrayal by Dr. B that he was almost insisting she usurp power from me, but I knew I couldn’t snap back at him in my current condition. Head buried in Penelope’s lap with her stroking my hair, clinging to Miss Pink like she was a life jacket in stormy seas, and my overall demeanor… a stone’s throw away from a mental breakdown. Still, I was at least a little moody over his line of questioning. “I know you may have been helping her around the safehouse and becoming the defacto leader already, but why haven’t you taken the final steps yet? Made it official and the like?” Penelope sighed, and while I admired her loyalty, even through my tears and emotional wreckage, I was curious as well. “It’s simple, doc… I owe her everything…” Dr. B didn’t say anything for a moment but then leaned forward. “I don’t understand… what do you mean that you owe her everything?” He didn’t know where this was going, but I already did. I couldn’t believe she was still holding onto that. “Well, I had lost my job, had no prospects or family whatsoever… essentially living in poverty, but one day, I saved a group of Littles from being run over in traffic. Miss G… Tiffany, saw and brought me in for a job right when she was just starting up Safehouse 81.” She paused and stroked my cheek tenderly for a moment. She clearly still felt the weight of what I had done for her then, but I had always insisted that I was just doing the right thing and that she had more than earned her position by now. I was thankful for her help without question, but I hoped she wouldn’t feel indebted to me forever. She had her own life to live and didn’t owe me a life debt or anything. I just didn’t want to hold her back… “I worked my way up through the ranks and I was even able to go back to school and finish a degree because of her.” She paused and gave me a light squeeze. “Taking over Safehouse 81 after all that? It just feels like a betrayal to her and what she did for me. She put faith in me when no one else did. She didn’t have to take me in, but she did, and I can’t simply forget that in all this…” Dr. B sighed and nodded. “I understand, Penny. I really do, but one day... I hope you have the courage and peace of mind to do what is necessary for everyone else. Tiff is… well, she’s important and you’re a good person for what you’re doing, but don’t let that harm the other’s lives you’re responsible for as well, okay?” Penelope nodded. “I understand, but actually… Mildred and I already have a contingency plan in place if it comes to that.” This was the first I was hearing about it, and from what I could make out from Dr. B, the first time he was hearing about it as well. “We’ll be fine on that front at least… I promise. I just want to do anything else possible for her until then. What’s more, I’m willing to take risks if need be…” Dr. B reclined in his chair and sat silently for a moment. I could see Penelope just about to likely ask if he was okay, but he then leaned forward once more. “Well, if you’re willing to take risks… I might have one more solution that could work here. In fact, some could almost consider a cure of sorts…” Curiously, I then saw him stare down at me, still nestled in Penelope’s lap. “But I need her permission first…” Penelope and Dr. B then tried a series of attempts to wrestle me out of my grief and my anguish about there being no explicit cure, but I felt too buried under my own emotions to give them back any meaningful response. I could sense what they wanted, and I could nod my head in agreement, but according to them, ‘it wasn’t enough.’ “Now what?” Penelope asked in desperation after her fifth time trying to rouse me from more than just a nod had failed. Dr. B stood up from his position near my face and walked back around his desk before pulling out a single slip of paper. “I have a friend who’s a judge… he gave me a series of these that bypass a patient’s desires in times of crisis. They’re not how I want to go about my practice here, but as a last resort, I find they can be necessary sometimes… particularly with regressing patients of mine.” Penelope temporarily moved me into a more seated position while still nestled on her shoulder now. It was less comfortable, but knowing I needed this, I tried to keep my emotions settled. “Is this… is this a power of attorney letter, Dr. Benson?” She was questioning what she was seeing, but I knew she knew that it was. I whimpered slightly at the notion, even before Dr. B nodded. No matter the circumstances, those words always seem to frighten me a bit. “It is, and I wish there was any other way, but this other method… it’s time sensitive. We could wait, but it has less of a chance of working if we do.” He then pushed the paper closer to Penelope and plucked out a nearby pen before looking back at her. “Sign the papers, Penny… this is your moment to help out your friend. You might not get too many more of these in dealing with salvaging her maturity.” Penelope looked at the document for a moment, but then pushed it away. “No. I’m sorry, doc, but I just can’t do that to her.” I wondered why with something so simple like this and I could see Dr. B raise an eyebrow as well over her action. “It’s just that… this is a binding document. It’s official and will eventually be filed away. If it does work, it could follow her around forever and affect every official aspect of her life. If she is cured with this, she might never be a director of a safehouse again…” She let her words hang in the air for a moment, and I think I was glad that she did. Despite my current unresponsiveness, I still wanted to think about it myself. Being a director and overseer of a safehouse had been my dream for years and a reality for the past seven… almost eight. Giving that up was a big decision, but like so many others lately, I knew I didn’t have many options open to me. One only had to look at me once to know that I was in a world of hurt on multiple levels now. If this meant a potential cure, despite everything else, I knew I had to take it… consequences be swallowed away regardless. So, for my own input in my own tiny way, I nuzzled her arm closer to the document. Dr. B smiled at the gesture. “See? I think Tiff wants it as well.” He sighed and pushed the document back again to Penelope. “I know you’re worried about the future, but just think of hers…” Penelope then looked down at me at her shoulder and stroked my hair with a smile. “What she’s doing now… might be the best you can hope for going forward without this.” Penelope stopped stoking my hair and her smile vanished. “Due to her PTSD and the original drug that she was injected with, I can safely say that her case is one of the most severe at this juncture,” Dr. B admitted. “I’ve seen a few that were worse or further along later, but they leveled off in the end much sooner than she has and have already begun their road to recovery. Tiffany though, hasn’t even started that process yet.” “So, what you’re saying is that my options are to let her suffer like this or choose an experimental drug that just might be a cure?” I could hear her skepticism far above the concern I had come to know so well in her voice. Dr. B nodded. “I’m afraid so in a manner of speaking.” He paused and pulled out a small liquid-filled syringe from his desk after clearly unlocking a compartment of sorts out of view. “This is it.” Penelope looked over the mercuric-looking liquid housed in the shot already. “That’s it?” The shot that promised so much seemed so simple now. I couldn’t blame her question of its authenticity to Dr. B. “That’s it,” Dr. B confirmed. “It’s not much but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. As you said, you have your two options. Let me spell them out for you…” He then took a deep breath. “With her current treatment, I expect she will eventually level off and stabilize but there will likely be less peaks and returns to her more mature self. Once she stabilizes more often, like any toddler, she can then start the healing process. It’s possible to return to an at least majority semblance of her former self, but it will take years.” From Penelope’s face, I could tell that she didn’t seem to like that last part. “Option two however,” Dr. B continued, “is this drug here. It has no fancy name in fact because it’s so experimental, and that’s its downside if I’m remembering correctly. The upside though, is that within days, Tiffany will experience improvement in nearly every aspect of her life. Permanently.” I could see the turmoil still brewing in Penelope’s face. To take the drug, she would have to declare me unfit on an official document and that presented a whole host of potential issues for my future. For me though, the distinction was clear. A potential improvement over a period of years, or something untested but which would only take days. Being a diaper dependent Big reliant on her employee, though likely and realistically caregiver and boss now, and her own personal stuffy for comfort, there wasn’t really a choice. Pushing her on to give me the experimental shot, I nudged her arm once more toward the document. Penelope smiled back at me and nodded. “I really hope you’re not just hungry or asking me for a change, but I’ll take it as a sign of what you want.” She sighed and leaned in to sign the paper. “Tackle me or something if I’m wrong though…” I didn’t. And just like that, with a final marking of the date on the document, my fate was sealed. Dr. B led me over to the couch where I had first sat while he was asking me all those questions meant for Littles. Acting so close to one now in multiple ways, I wondered how I would respond anymore to them, but currently, my eyes could only watch Dr. B approach me with the syringe in his hand. Small as it was, my response was just about what one would expect from someone regressing. I squealed and tried to squirm away. Still not able to muster any words out, fresh tears and sobs alone rained down from cheeks once more. Penelope could do little but cradle me from the other side of the couch and hold my arm steady while telling me that “Everything is going to be okay, honey. Just a little pinch and it will be done. Just a little poke and we can make you all better.” Dr. B grimaced at his task after wiping me with an alcohol pad, but with a final breath, he plunged the needle into my arm. I cried harder, but in moments, he had pushed the plunger down and removed the needle. Seconds later, a Princess Poppy band-aid covered my arm where I had been skewered. Strangely though, exhaustion quickly rippled through my body. “What’s happening?” Penelope asked in a panic after seeing the life nearly drain out from me in moments. “Why is she nodding off? Is this normal? Was that shot even safe to give her? What did you do?” Dr. B held up his arms defensively in front of him. “Woah, woah. Easy there. All normal, I promise you. Others have taken the shot and it’s just a side effect. If anything, it means that it’s working.” I could feel Penelope start to calm down and even adjust me to be more comfortable on the couch as she got up. I didn’t want her to leave me, but I didn’t have the strength or even energy to say as much. Fortunately, Miss Pink was still nicely tucked by my side. She never left me, and I couldn’t imagine life without her anymore. My eyes began to flutter close, and I could just make out a few bits more of conversation. “Well, it definitely seems to be working, so now, we just wait.” “And how long do we have to wait exactly, doc?” There she was again… Penelope was always my savior. If this worked, I could freely admit that I was almost sad to see that go… “According to my colleague who used this shot before, it should just take a day or two to full kick in, but it also should counteract most of the symptoms she has already or from them progressing even further.” Penelope looked relieved and I smiled as my vision started to completely fade and the exhaustion of the shot and the day started to hit me with its full force. Dr. B then snapped his finger and looked a little worried. “There is one catch though…” I wanted to ask ‘what?’ more than anything to Dr. B right then, but my own wants didn’t matter. Sleep was master now and soon overtook me.

There's a reason that I elaborate on in the next chapter, but I realize I probably should have added that earlier on. Oh well... Yeah... I realized I was making that trope about halfway through the chapter. I knew going in, there were only two ways this chapter could go. I think the other way would have been interesting to read about, but I think it wouldn't have worked in the overall story. Plus, at least in my experience reading these DD stories, a Big is much more likely to be the angry type than the kind type. I know most of my stories highlight the good ones... usually, but they certainly aren't the majority. I kind of wanted a worst-case scenario here and if that meant a trope, I realized I just kind of needed to lean into it without making her a cartoon basically. I gave her a little humanity in the end, but she's still not the greatest inspector ever. Thank you. I definitely have some down the road I think everyone is going to absolutely love.

Hey everyone! Just so everyone knows, I made a few edits about halfway through the last chapter. It’s nothing major, but I realized when I woke up this morning that I wasn’t satisfied with some of my edits, or lack thereof. I wanted to convey a sense of urgency, fear, and questioning in Miss G’s/Tiffany’s thoughts and actions, and I think I was able to do that. Again, nothing too major to the plot was changed, but for those of you curious, the newer changes start after their trip to the park. Looking ahead, there are only three more chapters after this one. I did some hiking today and took a tumble. It hurt my original plans for tomorrow, since it hurts to even bend my leg right now, but that should open up some more time to finish the next chapter and beyond. I’ll try to edit the next chapter as well and get it up tomorrow, but no promises on that front at least. Regardless, after I should only have two more to write next week. With my current schedule otherwise, I now definitely know that writing is going to be harder in the future, but I think I can make it all work still if I do a little more prep work beforehand going forward. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two and six, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 9: It Shouldn’t Be Put Off More Than It Already Has Been My eyes fluttered open once more in the backroom and medical station they had at Adulescens. Once again, I was back in my normal clothing, though still padded from when I had taken the Moro medication when I had first arrived as had become my usual routine lately. My knee hurt for some strange reason, but part of me felt that it was okay that it was hurting and that whatever had happened, had happened a while ago and had been taken care of already. Like the feeling of my knee, familiar from other times I had been here, everything was becoming routine, and like those other times as well, my memories soon flashed to what I had just been doing after I had taken the Moro earlier tonight when I had first arrived. It was kind of like a movie reel of memories in my head flashing all at once. Each time I came back and took more of the Moro, I would get a little more between the flashes, but each time was still strange to witness something like that, even after the several weeks I had been coming here. The ‘puppeteer’ of my actions in this place was stronger than ever. In my memories, I knew it was me, but in another sense, it wasn’t. My body, yes, but my actions… I wasn’t really sure anymore. It was a bit disorientating and perplexing, but I shuddered as usual once more remembering what had happened tonight. * * * “Wakey, wakey, baby Tiff,” Dr. B cooed to me. I quickly opened my eyes, and it took me a second to come to, but when I did, I quickly rushed into his large and comforting form and gave him a big hug. “Dr. B! I missed you so much!” There was no hesitation or regret. Just freedom to do whatever I felt like in that single moment, be it happiness, anger, or sadness. “I’m here and everything is going to be okay now… just like always.” His strong fingers stroked through my hair. It wasn’t weird or anything… just the comfort of a good children’s doctor to his patient to soothe any of their worries away. He then backed off and smiled at me warmly. “Now, I think we need to get that silly padding off you and get you into something more proper, huh?” I blushed and without a second’s hesitation, I lifted up the skirt I had been wearing when I first came in. Way too adult and totally not an exciting color. “Yep! Jus’ need my extra protection.” I turned to Miss P, not a care in the world. “Right, Miss P?” She smiled back and I felt all was right. “That’s right, Tiffy. Let me get you all sort…” My memory flashed again, and I was following another patient of Dr. B’s, Colin, in a parade of some kind. Dr. B was off to the side and telling us what to do. “Everybody shake your hands!” We all complied and giggled at our silliness. “Alright, good! Now march a little bit and shake your tailfeathers for me!” A few of us were confused, but the command seemed to be a usual one as some of the more experienced members quickly pushed up against us and then bent down. We followed them and then shook our butts in the air like they did. Even with my thick yellow shortalls tonight, I knew my diapers were bulging from the other side, but I didn’t care. I just felt like a silly goose and giggled at the sensation. I think I might have been wet as well already, but again, I didn’t care. “Perfect!” It always felt good to get praise from Dr. B. “Now, I want you all to march a little more and then cluck like a chick…” My memory flashed again. This time, I was sitting on the floor in front of another carer as he read If You Give an Alces a Koulouri. The pictures of the Alces and his antlers covered in the circular breads was very funny to me and was a comfort as I leaned back into the arms of Miss P. She was stroking my hair as well as I sipped my juice from a sippy cup while Dr. B attended to my knee. “There,” he said triumphantly as he finished placing the pink band-aid over my knee. “All better.” He smiled but his eyes shifted up to Miss P. “We might want to consider some knee pads in the future, Penny, or this will just keep happening. She seems to be quite the little runner and explorer in this state.” “Dat’s me!” I said giggling. I could feel the dried tears on my cheeks, and I knew I had been crying, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Only the funny story, my juice, Dr. B’s tender care of my boo-boo, and Miss P did. Just like all that always did when I came here. Dr. B smiled down at me. “That’s right, Tiffy. You are a little explorer, aren’t you?” Without a word of warning, he suddenly lurched forward and began to tickle my sides. I lasted only a half a second before I burst out into peels of laughter. * * * With all those memories flashing back, and with the more recent memory of me laughing, I couldn’t help but smile and giggle for a second afterward. Again, I hadn’t gotten the full picture of the night, but it was hard to deny anymore that the version I was seeing of myself was truly happy. No worries and no responsibilities. Even after hurting my knee and apparently crying about it, I was quickly okay with it. No burdens… nothing. It was hard not to see the appeal, but my adult mind quickly pushed those types of thoughts right out. Besides, another figure soon came into my view. Penelope was always the first to greet me when I came back from reliving what I could of my previous memories. “Hey there. Are you okay? Are you back now?” She always asked the same question, and I could always see the fear laced behind it. I wondered if she really did think I could ever be lost to the persona that took over while I was here and taking the Moro. Like always though, I simply nodded my head. “I’m back… and better than ever!” I felt like I was coming up for air and my mind cleared away like fog coming upon a mirror and then vanishing in the slightest breeze. It was exhilarating and my toes nearly curled at how free I felt. Once again, I had come through on the other side and despite my increasing memories of happiness on the other side, it always felt good to be back to how I used to feel all the time. In fact, over the next few weeks, I was able to establish a routine of going back to Adulescens three times a week. While myself from the beginning of all this might have been mortified over the notion of purposefully regressing myself into oblivion that many times in my life at once, my new outlook on life began to skew differently. In Big society, people went through just about anything to feel better, look better, or even to do any activity out there better. Some considered hypnotic therapies, cosmetic surgeries, and even genetic manipulation to get the results they desired. A lot of people considered those who did that as extremists, but deep down, everyone knew they were just seizing upon a notion that they wanted and using the tools now at their disposal. Everyone did it, like training for a marathon… those type of people just pushed it further. So, I started to see myself the same way, just with diapers instead of track suits or refined and chemically enhanced and modified injections of Botox like some do to themselves these days. My avenue of therapy might never be mainstream or even popular for those who needed it, but I was improving myself in my own way. For someone who was once was posed on the edge of oblivion into a regressive spiral of ultimate doom and drool, my new routine suited me just fine. So, with my mind back in the thick of things and feeling like myself again, back at the safehouse, everything started clicking back into place bit by bit. I could still see that Mildred and Penelope wanted to keep a close watch on me, but Jackie was finally able to take a vacation, and all the Littles never seemed better. Those not in the know, like Jackie and a few Bigs that stopped by to see everyone for a potential adoptee, wondered just how I was able to communicate with the Littles so effectively lately, but I just told them it was years of practice. They didn’t need to know that with embracing my inner Little or babyish side three times a week that I had gained an insight into their plight. I knew already that would have been too much information, even for the most open-minded people in the city. Instead, for the prospective Bigs at least, I knew they just wanted to see the well-behaved Littles they could take under their watch back home with them. Something lay in wait for all this better life though. Right as Ian was adopted by a wonderful couple out in the suburbs who understood his needs and actually got him to smile and even laugh, during the paperwork, I noticed that our safehouse license was set to expire in two months. Unless a complaint was filed, new inspections didn’t have to be performed for two years after the last one. I usually liked to do them once a year regardless, something the agency liked to show off in the past, but with the whole assault incident after Willy, we had put the inspection off this year. We were already a bit behind with the influx of personnel this year, but now, seeing the ‘two months left’ notification pop up, I momentarily panicked. “You want to do what?” I could hear the shock and disapproval already mounting in Penelope’s voice. “You can’t be serious Tiffany.” Despite my bounce back most days now, our relationship had permanently changed. Now, it was more of a friendship than purely as boss and employee. Others could have been bothered by that. Considering everything she did for me and that she never lorded it over me, I wasn’t. “Of course I’m serious, Penelope.” I knew she thought I was wavering because tonight was another night of Adulescens, but I knew deep down that wasn’t it. “Relax. We need to do this, and I think we should do it now before anything else happens.” “But what if something happens between now and when they come?” she countered. I could see her own fear begin to bubble up in her face. “If we put it off for another month, we could still prepare if something went wrong. It would give us a buffer and enough time to properly prepare you, or the paperwork needed for someone like me to step into the role if needed.” I knew that suggestion was bound to come up at some point, and I was honestly surprised it hadn’t before all this, but it still took me a minute to register her wording as she said it. “I…” I sighed. “You’re right, Penelope. It’s a risk, but I think it’s one we need to take. You know how Bigs can be when they’re adopting Littles. They need to see that everything is in order here.” I then lowered my voice and stepped closer to her. “I mean, look at Gina and Harry. They’ve been here forever, and while I know there’s no limit on when a Little has to leave once they enter our doors, they can’t want this forever, right?” Now, it was Penelope’s turn to sigh. “I don’t know, Tiff. They’ve been here for so long that I’m worried they might think of this place as their permanent home and may never want to leave.” We stood in silence for a moment, both of us thinking hard about one thing or another and the implication of it all. Still though, I was still the boss around here and my mind was made up. The future represented the unknown. Anything could happen to us between now and later, like Penelope suggested, and I felt it was a risk that was just too great to take. Besides, with my new schedule, I felt fine. “No, I think we need to do it now. Sooner is better than later,” I said about as confidently as I could. Penelope’s own doubt had crept into my mind, and like any leader, I knew I had to at least consider her words, but ultimately, I knew my decision had to be made, right or wrong. “We do this now and I think we’ll be just fine.” Penelope sighed again, but relented and went off to check on the cookies she had popped in the oven earlier for tonight for the others while we were away at Adulescens. While she did that, I made my way out back and to my office there. With a few flicks of my fingers, I made the appointment for next week and the day after another one of my sessions at Adulescens. If everything went right, I felt I should be in peak mental condition by then. So, the week progressed and like I had predicted, I went to Adulescens the night before and nothing was wrong. I never felt better, and the next day, I even decided to go shopping to buy a few candles and throw pillows I felt everyone would enjoy and would just add to the scene the inspector saw. Homey touches never hurt. Meanwhile, Mildred and Penelope were scrubbing the place up with all the Little’s help and promised to take them to a better park on the other side of the city later when the inspector was over. They had the chance to stay, but I had found that most Littles never wanted to sit still for the whole inspection process and ended up throwing a tantrum. It wasn’t a deduction fortunately, but it was a whole mess that no one wanted to deal with and the wrong inspector could use it as an excuse to not give out bonus points, essentially extra credit to boost lower scores. Safehouse 81 always got those bonus points. As I exited Baxter’s, the top home goods store in the city, nicely located within near spitting distance of the safehouse. I had made a nice morning of it and was even enjoying my iced coffee as I exited the store, already beginning to smell like the cinnamon and spices that I associated with the rapidly approaching fall season. I then turned left down South Wind Street and passed by several stores on my way home. One was one of the older and more ‘ma and pa’ shops that had been in the family since before the Great War. They mostly dealt in odds and ends, but they loved antiques and housed a singular TV in their front window, just like all the stores here used to do when they sold them to the public. It was a quaint gesture, but I still remember growing up and watching the Libertalian team win gold in the 100-meter breaststroke heat when I was a kid while out shopping with my mom. Today was just some local news station. As I passed by though, the channel suddenly flashed and my attention was drawn to it, seemingly like an act of fate. ‘Breaking News’ then appeared all over the screen. A portly and slicked-back hair news anchor appeared on the screen with his fingers deftly touching within his right ear for a moment, before then folding his hands together in front of him. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Bob Apostol and this just in… the final verdict for the Galpin v. Boss Cardigan trial have just been announced.” My breath froze in my chest. It was Willy’s trial and the final of the several verdicts was coming in now. It had been months since the first one concluded but the last three had taken the longest for some of the henchmen that had been hired. The first of the three was convicted right as I first started seeing Dr. Benson, the second right as I started going back to Adulescens regularly, and now the third today. After him, it would all be finally over. “Yes. I have it confirmed… it seems Tyson Green, the final member of Boss Cardigan’s posse that assaulted both the Galpin’s home and our own local Safehouse 81, has been found… not guilty.” My eyes bulged in confusion and panic. I had been following along in the trial and I now knew that Tyson was the one who initially handed the tattooed man the needle. He was younger and hesitant for sure, but he was still there. I just couldn’t believe that after all this, he was now a free man. “This likely comes as a shock to many of you viewers following this trial, but according to his lawyer’s and the official final hearing, there were ‘exigent circumstances’ that were revealed during trial,” Bob Apostol continued. “Deep speculations have been running rampant that these new circumstances are the primary reasons for this hearing and conclusion being so postponed beyond the rest. We’ll have more for you tonight, but for now, I’m Bob Apostol and this has been breaking news.” The TV then flashed back to ads about vacuum cleaners and then dish detergents. Others had stopped around me as well to see the verdict unfold, but they were now moving on. I wasn’t. I just felt stuck in place. Rage and fear encircled my heart. Tyson might have been the younger of the crew that assaulted my safehouse that night, but he was still part of the problem. If I had been murdered, in the same scenario, he would have been the one who had handed the knife or gun to my murderer. ‘How did someone like that just be let go so easily?’ I felt confused and betrayed by the legal system, but one further factor in all this lingered in my mind… if he was part of the crew and had been let off on some possible technicality, would he now come after to me to finish the job the tattooed man had started? The thought plagued my mind, and I just couldn’t shake it away. My knees began to tremble under the possibility that every person who was now bumping into me, could have been him. Each stranger could have been him, now armed with a needle to finish the job that had started that night. I was thriving now, so if he saw me, I only felt it natural that he would want me to suffer again for foiling his boss’ plans. I had even been told by the prosecutor that because I was able to delay the assaulting party that night, Willy was able to find the police and be placed in the care of non-corrupt cops, specifically, Molly and Kent Donovan, his current caregivers. Although there was still a lot of confusion over the night that Boss Cardigan and his henchman, the tattooed man, went down, Molly and Kent were instrumental in securing the remaining surviving criminal’s guilty verdicts. If I hadn’t intervened, all that might not have happened. So, now, with a member of that criminal element on the loose, I felt every bit as vulnerable as I did that night when I was first stuck with that terrible shot by the tattooed man. So, now seeing everyone as a threat, my instincts finally kicked in and I was able to unstick my seemingly glued-down feet and run as fast as I could back home. It was only about a block and a half further, but I made sure to lock all the doors behind me as I started to sweat and breathe heavily once inside. Not even caring about the bags, I tossed them on the couch and tried to make myself a drink to take my Enilikas with and hopefully calm down. My hands were shaking so much that I accidentally spilled some of the orange juice on the counter, but I needed to drink a little before I would clean it up. As I pressed the small glass to my lips though, the doorbell rang loudly and startled me even more. Panic truly then shot through my heart. Looking at the time, it was the inspector. “Coming!” was about all I could make out as she then rang the doorbell again. She seemed impatient or strict, and both did nothing to calm my nerves down. Fumbling to the door and even knocking over a bin of toys, I winced but still quickly texted Penelope that I needed her to come back here ASAP and that everything was going wrong. Unfortunately, she was on the other side of town entertaining the Littles with Mildred as I had agreed to, but she understood and texted back that they would be back here ‘pronto.’ So, in full-on panic mode, and without any other option, I opened the door to the inspector that would determine if this safehouse would stay open or not. I barely felt it, but a tiny spurt quickly shot into my diaper. Still, despite everything, I wanted to make a good first impression, so I dug deep and made sure to smile warmly and offer good eye contact to the inspector as she came into view. “Come on in and…!” “Step aside,” the large and imposing woman said, brushing me aside as if I was made of tissue paper. “This inspection has been delayed enough in the past and today already. No need for more pleasantries. Let’s just get down to it.” My cheery demeanor front that I was putting on quickly shattered. “Oh, I… I’m sorry about to… today,” I stammered out. “I just got some b… bad news, and… and we did have an intrusion here earlier.” I took a breath to calm myself down in front of her. “Actually, you might have seen it on the news and…” “Yes, yes. Of course I saw it. I’m not an idiot.” My heart sank that she would even think I was implying that. To my dismay, I already quickly wanted to hug Miss Pink and hide under my bed in the wake of this woman. “I’m inspector Gibson. Last name only. That’s all you need to know.” She then took out her tablet and a stylus and flipped through a few of the screens. I still wasn’t getting the warm and fuzzy vibe I normally received from these inspectors and my stomach gurgled in fear of what that could mean for today. “Yes. Here we are. Safehouse 81, and… oh my. Less than two months before and expired inspection. Not good at all…” I just stood there as she swiped a few more times and wrote down a handful of things. I could tell she was already frustrated and one of the strict inspectors from the agency. Most inspectors introduced themselves by their first name, with their official last name and inspector titles only coming at the end in case we wanted to follow-up with them later. Of all the possibilities for how this was to unfold, I felt very strongly that this was just about one of the worst ways so far. “Okay. Show me around. Don’t miss anything.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I assume since you’ve done this before however that I don’t need to go over the proper order for things, do I?” Again, I froze. Inspectors were told to go about things in a certain order to ensure they wouldn’t miss any steps. Per the teaching academy it was just standard practice. Most inspectors just developed a feeling after some time in the field though and played it on instinct, usually finding it a much better gauge for a safehouse’s true status. As such, I hadn’t gone through the steps officially in years, and even if it was fresh in my mind, my panic certainly wasn’t helping my memory. “Uh…” I wrestled with my answer, but I figured it was better to clarify with her than to hold my pride in and then get it wrong. Clarification could be a mark against me with this woman, but Penelope was definitely teaching me that pride was something that should almost always be set aside when thinking about others. I might get a lower score personally, but the safehouse could still survive. “Uh, maybe just review them as we go…” She glared at me from behind her tablet. “Just to clarify, of course. I want to make sure you check everything off and I don’t forget anything.” “Would that be a be a problem?” she questioned coldly. “You forgetting things? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” I wasn’t sure what to tell her exactly. It felt like she knew about the things that were happening with me, but Dr. Benson said these things were beyond my control. It was hard to accept myself until more recently, but with Inspector Gibson… I just wasn’t sure. “Because if you are, I’m afraid I’m going to have to mark that down. A safehouse needs a director and overseer who can…” “No!” I shouted in earnest and in panic. “No…” I tried to calm myself down again to act normally and not like I was trying to hide something from her. “I just mean that I’m not forgetting things. I just don’t want to run the risk of a long week or stress being a problem here. Never hurts to be sure, right?” I lied, and that wasn’t great if she ever found out, but for now, I needed her to cut me some slack somewhere. “Hmmm…” She rolled her eyes briefly, and I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not, but she quickly moved around to the other side of the living room. “We’ll start here,” she said, pointing to the outlets. “We always start with safety first.” I sighed internally with a massive wave of relief. She seemed at least willing to entertain me for the time being. I knew I would probably have to get everything right now, but I had a chance. I felt confident that I could pull this whole thing off. “Right. Safety…” So, we started to go room by room in the house. She questioned anything and everything she could, and I was glad that I had just gone to Adulescens only the night before. If I hadn’t and I was experiencing even the tiniest bit of fog, I knew for sure that I would have failed on the spot. Soon though, we then went into the kitchen. “And what is this?” she asked, seeing the bit of my juice that I had spilled earlier. I had completely forgotten about it until now, and a tiny puddle had formed on the floor where it had spilled over the counter a little bit. Nothing major, but painfully obvious. “Oh!” I hurried to go clean it up. “I just spilled my drink right before you came here. It’s nothing… Really.” Inspector Gibson was already furiously writing something on her tablet with a scowl on her face. I gulped in fear that it would have been counted as a mark against me. “Honest. It was just a tiny accident. I’m normally very neat and clean and this is something that just never happens around here and with you ringing the doorbell after I got some candles and…” “I get it, Miss Glifford,” she said bluntly, looking at me judgmentally after briefly looking up from marking on her tablet. I realized my panicky mistake and quickly shut up as she went back to scribbling down her thoughts on the room. Before she said another word, I scrambled to clean up the mess in a maddening fury. Unfortunately, each move I made was scrutinized more than the last. There were even a few times where Inspector Gibson shook her head in dismay. Fearing her deduction of more points, I made sure not to make any more excuses with the rest of the kitchen. Then, a little later, we moved on… to the hallway. “And another mess?” Again, I completely forgot about spilling the toy bin over when I went to answer the door when she rang earlier. I almost made another excuse, but Inspector Gibson only glared back at me, so I simply picked it up and moved on with the tour for her inspection. Level by level, we then ascended the areas of the house. Each area was carefully combed through, and Inspector Gibson questioned everything, and each of those questions was even specific to the exact ages of each floor. I knew it was regulation, but knowing the ins and outs of every Little age and qualm or irregularity was taxing my mind. By the time we reached the fourth floor, my nerves were practically shot, but it only got worse from there. Before, Inspector Gibson just asked the questions and moved an occasional book or blanket to check a few areas more closely. By the time we got to the areas where most Littles were diapered at some point during the day, she began to use a blacklight pen and started sniffing around. She would occasionally sigh or huff in resignation over something, but I quickly learned not to speak unless I was spoken to after I stuttered out another excuse and was immediately shut down again. I prayed for Penelope to get her faster, but I still didn’t have any luck, even when we reached my floor. “And this is your room?” Inspector Gibson questioned skeptically. I nodded, but I also realized I had forgotten to plug in a different air freshener than the rest of the house, so unfortunately, the floor mostly smelled of baby powder and the lavender scent prevalent in the Little’s rooms. Inspector Gibson quickly sniffed and seemed repulsed. “Get a lot of Littles in here?” I knew she was probably smelling everything herself, so I quickly nodded, hoping to move suspicions off myself and onto only a simply passing by Little. They were supposed to smell like baby powder… not me. “Absolutely. I find it helps them feel secure with me and the staff. My door is usually open and I…” “And you are aware that is a violation of protocol seven, right?” Her question came fast and brutally… along with another scribble in her tablet when I didn’t answer her. In truth, most safehouses I knew of ignored that directive, going for more of a personal and welcoming touch, rather than the clinical one the agency had written down decades before. Most of us overseers thought protocol seven was antiquated and came from a time when cuddling a Little was considered the fastest way to spread germs from another dimension, rather than as a gesture of comfort to ease the many burdens of a Little. We had come a long way since then, but the agency’s protocols still hadn’t. Inspector Gibson continued to look over my room and the facilities. Her nose kept flaring and each time sent my pulse racing, but she still never seemed to find anything absolutely damning. Penelope had assured me this morning that she would carefully conceal all my supplies and the like from the inspector’s prying eyes. My diapers and medication were still here, only locked away in a chest under my bed. Even for Inspector Gibson, that would have taken things too far. I then got a text from Penelope saying that she was just around the corner. I breathed a sigh of relief, but from the corner of my eye, I swear I saw Inspector Gibson picking something up off the floor and concealing it behind her back. Another text came in though and I felt my imagination was just playing tricks on me as I didn’t see anything further. So, whatever it was though, I didn’t care. She didn’t say anything about it and Penelope was on her way back. I felt for a moment that everything was going to be okay. With the inspection now over, Inspector Gibson and I descended the stairs back down to the first floor. Once there, with a sigh, she turned to me. “I will need to weigh what I saw here very carefully. There were many aspects that passed, but there were some that raised some alarms…” I panicked, wondering what she was referring to. I didn’t have long to wait. Inspector Gibson then pulled an object from behind her back. It was Miss Pink. “I don’t oppose stuffed animals for caregivers… especially for sentimental reasons or if one such as yourself let’s Littles in there so freely, but this and incidents like the spilled juice or toy bin by you and with what I know and what I’ve heard… give me pause.” I wondered what that meant in the totality of it all, but the front door soon burst open. The relative quiet of the house soon erupted into chaos. “Buh I wanna use the TV first!” “No, me!” “I’m hungwy!” “I’m thirsty!” “Girls, no shoving! Boy’s, put that stick you found outside down and go wash your hands!” A flood of many similar questions and complaints soon flooded my ears. I could already see Inspector Gibson writing more notes down. Mildred scampered off, running after Gina as she rushed for the sink to place a flower she had apparently plucked outside into a cup of water. Littles and running water were always messes waiting to happen, so I was glad she was handling it, but it left every other Little under the watch of Penelope. As it was though, Harry had spilled his drink over his whole shirt and was already taking her attention away for a moment. I tried to focus on Inspector Gibson and her final remarks through it all, but the chaos was only growing further around me. “As I was saying, some of the items I saw today give me pause, and now… oh! Is that Little drawing on the walls?” I snapped to where she was looking and low and behold, Seth was once again drawing on the lower walls with red crayon. “Seth! No!” I dashed over to stop him, but it was too late. It wasn’t anything obscene, rude, or not in the eyes of other Littles, but the act itself was a problem. “That was very naughty!” I looked desperately back at Inspector Gibson. “Just one minute, please.” She only waved her hand at me while I put Seth on the naughty stool once more. I thought we were getting somewhere with him, but I figured that this week must just have been one of his ‘bad ones.’ “Sorry about that…” I said, slightly jogging back over, satisfied he wasn’t going to move further. I had been feeling relief, but as I approached now, Inspector Gibson’s face just seemed concerned and annoyed. “Yes… well, I was going to say that it was overall good, but all this?” She gestured around the room, and it was a complete disaster zone. All efforts to clean up the place earlier seemed totally wasted. If I had to take a guess, coming back early meant the Littles still had a lot of excess energy to burn off and there were only so many ways they knew of doing that. “It gives me more reasons to be concerned. Other safehouse would never allow this, or at least allow all this to this level of magnitude, and from the past reports of this place, I don’t think it would have been tolerated either.” She then sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I need to review my notes further, but I’m afraid to say that one of the few conclusions I can come to right now is simply a breakdown in leadership here. Your leadership to be more specific. The order in safehouses flow from the top and what I’m seeing here now with what I saw earlier… it doesn’t leave me with many other reasonable answers as to why it’s like this here. I can understand some of this, but not all of it at once like this.” She sighed and placed her tablet away in the bag she had set down by the front door. “As I said, I need to review my notes further for a final conclusion, but you can definitely count on a response back from me within the week.” With that, she nodded at me and marched right out the door. For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to make of everything. The world felt like it was burning down around my ears and that everything, including me, would be swallowed up in a second. It might have been pessimistic thinking for sure, but I felt that Inspector Gibson’s only conclusion to all this would have been a failure. I knew that in short order, this place would be shut down. All the Littles would be displaced, and while some would find homes, most would end up in terrible situations. Further, a closed safehouse would follow the staff’s records wherever they went for years to come, and each would blame me bitterly. As for me, my stress would spike, and my condition would worsen. Unemployed, regressing, and unable to cope with my symptoms, I would either end up as a ward of the state in a broken-down facility or be consigned to a laboratory to be studied with my specific condition, living the rest of my days in a state of shattered ego and mind or the eternal torment of experimentation to find out why I had turned out this way. So, pessimistic thinking, yes, but still a grim reality check if everything went the way I thought it was. Then, to add to matters, I could feel a new burst of warmth erupt through my diaper… no warning at all again. Sadly, it was just commonplace by now. My warning time had dropped significantly before I had established my routine of three visits a week and it had never fully recovered since then. Penelope had been working with me, but for whatever reason, her training efforts only continued to fail. This latest spurt was just another example of that. The problem this time though, was that I felt my diaper squish heavily… and that only meant one thing. I wasn’t far away from leaking all together. Now, I’m not sure if it was panic with everything that had just happened, or maybe it was some innate need to know that I was about to leak. Maybe it was just so hard to believe that I had gotten that bad in my potty training that I had to see it to really believe it. But whatever the case, I simply lifted the pink dress I had been wearing and inspected myself at the bottom of the stairs… not caring who saw. And, to my chagrin, I was soaked. So, with everything coming crashing down on me, I began to tear up. “Tiffany! No!” Through my tears, I looked over and saw a shocked duet of Gina on the floor and Mildred, who was now holding Timmy. Penelope, however, was racing right for me, her arms stretched out for my dress. In seconds, from her yanking efforts, my dress was back down, and my diaper was once again concealed and out of view. Seemingly bewildered, she made sure my full dress was down again and then looked back at me in horror. “What are you doing? Did you know that you were just… flashing everyone around you here?” I couldn’t think of what to say. I could have said, yes, but that wasn’t exactly true, as I hadn’t even fully registered the presence of anyone else around me. All I cared about was my soaked diaper and if I was going to leak or not. All other considerations as far as other people were concerned weren’t even on my radar. So, leaning on what I had always been told, I told the truth. “No…” “Fine, but… why?” I could see the perplexed look on my friend and ‘employees’ face, but I couldn’t give her any answers. I just knew one thing right then. I had screwed up everything and I was very wet. So, with nothing left holding me back, I started bawling right there on the spot. Penelope, ever the caring friend and concerned carer, almost twitched and recoiled to my reaction. “Oh, no. No, no, no. Don’t do that.” I could hear her panic. She probably knew a day like this was coming where even something like this couldn’t be hidden away. She likely was going through every scenario in her head of how to tell the Littles what was going on finally if they didn’t already know, but for the moment, I took priority for her. She rapidly leapt closer to me and pulled me tight in her arms before spinning back to Mildred. “Mil? Distract them again, please? I need to attend to Tiff here ASAP.” Still buried in Penelope’s arms, I could only cry more as I saw a distant form of Mildred nod her head and lead the other perplexed Littles away. They were already asking questions, but Penelope was also already pulling me up the stairs to my room. Halfway up, not long after Penelope briefly paused on the stairs for some reason, I lost it even more. “I screwed everything up! Everyone is going to be evicted and it’s all my fault! Stupid, stupid me! Why did I have to schedule the interview for today? I wasn’t ready!” I turned to Penelope further and clung to her nice blouse as if I was hanging off the side of a tall building and she was the only thing keeping me from falling to my death. “You were right! Why did I do that? Now we’re all doomed!” I could have been wrong, but through my blasted, touchy, and fried emotions, I didn’t see any other scenario. “Tiffy, Tiffy… it’s okay,” she cooed to me. Oddly, I quickly flashed back to one of my more recent times at Adulescens… only this time was out in the real world. This time, I had no ‘puppeteer.’ It was just me. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad, and besides, Mildred and I have a plan if the inspection goes wrong.” She kept guiding me up the stairs. Passing by the fifth floor, I couldn’t help but stare into the nursery and see the plush and comforting furniture and ambience in there. I wanted that. I don’t know why, but there was a part of me that desperately wanted to stay in there tonight rather than my own room. “But what?” I then questioned erratically, quickly brushing off those feelings of longing to stay in the nursery tonight. “She was with the agency! Her say is final! No appeals. Nothing!” Penelope shook her head as we then breezed past the staff floor, currently only occupied by Mildred and Penelope, as Jackie and Vivian were still on leave. “We have a plan, Tiff. Maybe I can tell you it when you’ve calmed down a little, but right now, I think we have more pressing matters, don’t you?” We finally reached my room, and I just nodded. “Now, I think I saw someone in need of a change, huh?” I nodded again and just let Penelope, all full of smiles and care, lift my dress and inspect my diaper. “Oh yeah. That’s one soaked diaper. Best we get it off now before you start making puddles everywhere.” I couldn’t help but blush and only let her do what she needed. All this was becoming distressingly routine now. Penelope was much faster at changing my diapers, and while I occasionally did it, I never turned down her help when she offered it anymore. It was just easier this way. So, practiced, Penelope pulled out the required supplies from under my bed and set everything up. In my own practiced way, as soon as the changing pad was pulled out and over on my bed, I laid back and fiddled with my fingers. After removing the final touch of a package of aloe infused wipes, Penelope looked at me with concern. “Tiff… there’s no reason to be nervous. We’ve done this tons of times before…” She then trailed off for a moment. “You’re still worried about the inspection though, aren’t you?” I nodded and felt a few tears roll away from my eyes and to my hair. Penelope sighed. “Well, as I said, Mildred and I have a plan, but I want you to rest and relax for now, so I think I know just what you need.” With a smile, she then reached down beside her and pulled out a single object, that while not fully banishing my blues and anxieties, did a great deal to alleviate them. “Miss Pink!” I practically squealed. Needing no further prompting, I reached up and grabbed her and pulled her tight to my chest. She was my everything and just what I needed. I didn’t care how ridiculous it looked or how it came across if any stranger suddenly walked in. I wanted… needed her and like my savior, Penelope had given her to me. “Thank you, Penelope.” She beamed back down at me at gently pawed some hair out of my face. “You’re very welcome, sweetie.” She then pulled back and lifted my dress up. “Now, you just cuddle with Miss Pink, and this will be over in a jiffy.” I smiled and nodded while holding Miss Pink even tighter… if that was possible. I still worried about the inspector and Tyson coming to finish off the job he started with me, but Penelope and Miss Pink here were with me now. They shouldn’t have mattered as much as they did, but they did. I should have cared more about what that meant, or the fact that I had reacted as strongly as I did so soon after a trip to Adulescens, but I didn’t. For now, like Penelope had told me, I just needed to rest and relax a little. Sadly, everything else would still be waiting there in my life for some other time.

Hey everyone! Whew! What a trip so far! Way pricier than I thought, but way more memorable than I thought possible as well. No secret tattoos or anything, but definitely a well worth it trip. Unfortunately, while leaving, I got caught in a rainstorm and woke up Monday feeling terrible. Between that and starting a new job, it was a bit of a bumpy start to this week. Long story short though, I didn’t get to finish this chapter when I really wanted to until now. Sorry about that, but I’ll try to work this weekend as well to still finish this story before my trip. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two and six, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 8: My New Solution Is Perfect, Right? I couldn’t believe the differences I was seeing in my life after going to Adulescens and taking the Moro along with the Enilikas medication as well. One minute I was longing to dive into a sandbox and act like I was a princess, and the next, I was eagerly headed back to work. I thanked Dr. Benson over and over again, but a simple ‘thank you’ never seemed to suffice. Fortunately, Dr. Benson always shirked off his efforts and just continued to see me, seeking his reward in my recovery. He wanted to help our society in his own way, and while he knew a place like Adulescens was controversial and problematic, his results couldn’t be underestimated. After all, even for the judges, lawyers, doctors, and even police, all were still able to maintain their position. I wanted that end goal back in my life, so I began to study what made them so successful. While some pointed to kale smoothies, and others claimed an organic diet, I found that the one common key for them seemed to be knowing their trigger sign. Basically, it was a singular event that each Big had to look out for. It signaled to them that their treatment from Adulescens was wearing off and that they would need to go back again. After, they would be fine, but again, they would need to look for their trigger sign once more. Unfortunately for me, I still wasn’t sure what my own trigger sign was. So, desperate to free myself of this burden, I began to experiment and had Penelope observe me when I started to slip again. At first, we thought it was my need for Miss Pink. “Again?” Penelope questioned me as I exited my room with Miss Pink in my hands once more. I didn’t even realize I had done it, but I could definitely hear some exasperation in her voice over yet another failed trigger warning. “Yeah…” I said sheepishly. “I guess I did…” It was hard not being embarrassed by these things. I was supposed to be in charge here, but there I was, standing outside my room with a pink stuffed bear and an ‘adult brief,’ one that had about as much chance as being damp as it did being dry. “Well,” I guess that only means one thing now, doesn’t it, Tiffany?” I groaned over her insinuations, but just nodded my head. I knew tonight would be another trip back to Adulescens, more Moro, and another stroll down baby lane. It seemed enough to satisfy Penelope and Mildred that at least back home to the point they weren’t bugging me about it anymore. So, not wanting to make a fuss, Penelope and I went to the point where we were going about twice a week. To help even more, I made sure to check each morning that I wasn’t carrying Miss Pink, and that I felt fine. Clearer than ever, but then one day, something else happened that made me question just how clear one could be… or needed to be. We had just finished snack time, and I could tell that after five minutes of letting their food digest a little bit, they were getting restless. It wasn’t anything specific, but it was almost a smell in the air or that odd ingredient on your tongue you just couldn’t place. It was just out of your reach, but you knew it was there. From my experience with Littles, I knew that this feeling only could go one of two ways. Either I would embrace it now, or risk total chaos and at least one tantrum by the end of it. If I embraced it, even if I was wrong, it would get everyone moving around and burn off their energy for later during naptime. Seth was getting more mellow, but naptimes were still an uphill battle. So, seeing my path as clear as day, I cleared my throat and stood in the living room in front of everyone. “Attention! Attention!” Almost every Little snapped their eyes toward me. Ian had just been rejected by yet another couple for being ‘too distant’ and Jonathan was still in his frustrated mindset over his current lot in life. By now, he knew he needed diapers and help for some tasks that he used to master, but he still hadn’t given in yet. Once he did, it was a slippery slope for any Little, but they were generally happier. That wasn’t today. “I think it’s time we go to the park today, huh?” Most of the Littles gasped and even began to bounce in place over their anticipation of the activity. “I think I can even hear the swings start to creak.” I exaggeratedly held my hand up to my ear and leaned in the direction of the door. Every Little, even Jonathan and Ian leaned to the door. Smiling now that I had their attention, I took a breath. “Eeek. Eeek. Eeek.” It was stupid and maybe even childish, but for most, they didn’t care. Their faces only lit up in glee. Seth joined them and was clearly excited. Jonathan rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the book he was reading, Jason and the Grapevine. It was one of my favorites and I had given it to him to read to ease his sorrows. I also used it as a test to see just how mature he was, but he seemed to be passing the test so far. “Ooh. Yep! Definitely can hear them, can you all?” A few of the Littles nodded. A few didn’t, but I knew I had my audience. I was just about to march right out the front door, but Penelope snapped in place first in front of everyone. We all nearly crashed into each other. “Wait!” We all stopped our forming mini parade. “You can’t just go out like that!” I almost asked her ‘why not?’ but I quickly stopped myself when I realized ‘why not’ myself. “Oh… right.” I turned around to the other Littles. “It’s going to be okay, and we can still go, but every adventurer needs to prepare first, right? What does Adventure Sam always say?” “Be prepared.” A few of the Littles were actively participating. They bought my excuse over my lapse in judgement, but I could feel a spike in power. I wanted everyone to tell me the answer I was looking for. “Oh, no, no, no. That just won’t do…” I sighed. “I think a few of you are still unsure. I don’t even think that Jonathan can hear you. So again… I wanna hear you, loud and proud. What does Adventure Sam always say?” “Be prepared!” they shouted again. This time, I could only smile back. Jonathan was still buried in his book, but every other Little wanted to prove they knew the answer to my question. Answering something like that was simple, but for every Little, a correct answer meant they weren’t completely lost causes to their own regressions. It was a speck of maturity they would hold onto as long as they could. Even if their diapers were soaked, teeth were missing, or they would forget in the next few minutes what they had just shouted, they would remember that ounce of maturity. It was something, and when one had next to nothing, something was everything. So, with everyone cajoled and willing now, I coordinated with Mildred and Penelope and made sure we had two large diaper bags filled to the brim with just about everything we could need for a quick trip to the park. Seeing all the Littles starting to get antsy, I made sure that Jonathan would trudge along after us and then left the house. Seeing as he was at least interested in reading still, I let him bring the book as well. “Alright, everyone! Follow me!” Like a band leader of a parade, I took my place in front and began to twirl a stick I had found on the ground and led everyone away. We made sure to sing songs and hold hands as we marched along, two-by-two to the nearby local park. It must have been quite a sight to see, but I was just happy everyone now seemed to be in a good mood and was letting off their previously pent-up energy. To me, the crisis I had foreseen coming, had been averted. Once we got to the park, I let the other Littles scramble away to their own devices while I helped Mildred and Penelope set up a base camp of sorts. We knew we would have to go back before lunch, but until then, diapers would likely need to be changed, and a first-aid station of sort was likely always needed when we went to the park. As much as I hated it, it almost seemed the price of a good time out here. Still, as much as the sounds of giggling, the squeaking of the swings, or the whoosh of padded behinds tumbling down the slide electrified my ears, I couldn’t help but notice Jonathan sitting all by himself. It was his right, but even in a case where Ian and Seth were joining in on the fun, I felt I had to insert myself into his bubble. “Hey there, buddy.” I was trying to act as casual as possible, but Jonathan’s annoyed look showed I hadn’t accomplished that goal in particular. “I see…” I could have given up there, but I felt that would be a disservice to him and might cast a pall over my position as leader of the safehouse. So, determined, I tried again. “You know though… these nice days don’t come around that often…” Jonathan’s sigh showed me I was still striking out. I knew I had to go big. It was a risk, but if it paid off, I could win huge for his future under my care at the safehouse. “I mean, regressions are weird. One minute you’re up, and the next…” I let my words trail off. I knew I was exaggerating the truth a little bit, after all, regressions were mostly linear. Erratic at times, but unless something traumatic happened, a Little kept regressing on a relatively straight line if one was so inclined to plot it out. Still, my trailed-off words and my implication must have struck something within Jonathan. Worry filled his eyes, and for once, he set his book down. “You… you mean, I could… I could…?” I could see the fear across his face now. I felt like a bit of a schlub for placing him in that mood, but I knew he needed to make friends. Friends kept a Little going. They could hurt a Little’s maturity in the short term, but they could prevent massive regression bouts in the future. Isolation was one of the worst things that could happen to a Little that wanted to stay adult as possible. In essence, like Adulescens, a Little could play younger games today or not even know what a ball was in a week. Still, I couldn’t outright lie to him. “Well, maybe not all at once, but what if a rainstorm hits this area?” Again, I made sure to pause to get my words to impact him the hardest. “You get a bad storm that lasts maybe a few days… that could be a lot for some Littles. In the end, it’s hard to say…” To my surprise and relief, that’s all it took. Jonathan immediately put his book down on the bench and hopped off. I could tell he was eager to join in, but everyone was scattered about, and Jonathan wasn’t the most sociable of people I had ever met. His hesitation could be enough to put him off entirely, so I once again sprang into action. “Everyone! Everyone! Gather round!” I shouted to all my Littles. Amusingly, some Littles from a few other households came to me as well. I didn’t mind. “I think the weather is perfect for a game of… capture the flag!” Everyone gasped and their eyes widened. A game of capture the flag was simple enough, but I had previously banned it at the safehouse after one Little had a meltdown after failing to capture the flag at one point. Nothing permanent, but of all the games, I felt it was too much of a risk. Today though, I felt eager to push the risk. All for Jonathan… of course, for Jonathan… “That’s right. You heard me.” I saw many of the Littles looking at me with sheer terror. There was a drive I couldn’t quite place my finger on with why I wanted this, but there was still a sliver of something in the back of my mind reminding me of that look I was seeing. These Littles… cute, playful, imaginative, and wonderous little cherubs they were, were also coming to me damaged… broken even. Each had their own story, and while I felt Safehouse 81 could heal them more than most thought possible when the safehouse program first started, there were just some wounds that only miracles could cure. I wanted to believe in them, but moments like these reminded me that some miracles might have just been too great to hope for. Traps. It was such a simple concept for Littles, which is one of the reasons I think they stuck in their minds so much, but Bigs would lay traps for Littles to fall into. Tell them a rule, wait a little bit, lure them into breaking the rule, and then punish them afterward. Cruel and sadistic, but effective at breaking a Little in all the ways those types of Bigs wanted. If a Little complained to an authority, it could always be swept away as just their imagination, or their misunderstanding. If the Little had a messy diaper, was incoherent in their sobs, or could barely speak they were so nervous, it just made the story all the more convincing. So, now, I realized my mistake and made sure to rewind my position on everything. “Woah, woah. No traps here. Easy, easy…” I saw a few were even close to tears, and I felt moved in my stupidity over something so small yet so monumental. “Okay, okay. Group hug everyone. Come on!” I rapidly gestured toward my chest. Littles like Gina or Timmy needed no further excuse and ran right into me. I let out a little ‘oof’ but quickly embraced them. I immediately began to ‘shhh’ them and stroke their backs. Soon, even the Littles that had never run into the trap scenario before from a Big personally wanted a piece of the action as well. They wanted… needed that comfort in their own way. Even Jonathan eventually joined in on the hug. He was still the eldest, but with his maturity slipping away, he needed a good hug as well. After a few minutes, I felt everyone was ready enough now to join in on the game. I let go, and like a stack of dominos, each Little broke free and stared back intently at me. “Okay. Everyone okay? Do we still need a minute?” The Littles shook their heads quickly. Most had to wipe their tears and snot on their sleeves, but each was still happy to finally be able to play another game as well. Settling on two ‘flags,’ really just a few sports flyers we found lying around, we divided the teams evenly between myself and Jonathan, with an extra player on the other team to account for me being a Big. Seth complained for a moment, but I was eventually able to push his right buttons and convince him that we were the most stable and most mature of the group. He relented, but the teams held. Then, using the narrow path in the middle of two sports fields, I yelled “Go!” The field erupted into chaos, but the laughs and taunts were almost a pure delight to hear so vividly. It didn’t take long for the teams to both swell with even more Littles. The battle pitched back and forth. One team would steal a flag and then others would as well. It would be stolen back and the other would be as well. It was a veritable tug-of-war out there. I even found myself getting caught up in everything. I won the flags three times for my team, and everyone cheered me on, even those whom I didn’t recognize. I didn’t matter though. Being a Big was amazing! I felt on top of the world, but even I had to take a break and grab some water at a nearby fountain. “Having fun, huh?” I looked over at the questioning and smirking Penelope and seemingly bewildered Mildred. Feeling out the waters a Little more now, I nodded my head. “You know…” Penelope leaned forward and almost seemed hesitant. “You almost looked like you were playing… rather than leading out there.” I stood up. “Well, duh. The other team needed a leader, and I was there, and it was fun and…” Both my staff members looked back at me with wide eyes. I realized my mistake. “Oh…” “Yeah…” Penelope sighed and came over to me and rubbed my back. “It’s okay. I just think it might be time again for another trip to… Adulescens,” she whispered. Sighing, I could only nod my head in admittance that I had been slipping practically this whole morning. Thinking back to when I first started the parade, I wondered why Penelope hadn’t called me out with my younger antics earlier. Regardless, I went back later that night, and once again, the fog lifted from my mind. I was good for another few days and everything seemed to be running smoothly. Well… mostly. While everything did run smoothly around the safehouse, I don’t think it was from my efforts anymore… at least not directly. Before, I was in charge of everything. If Safehouse 81 was a pyramid, I would be on top of everything. Something went right, nine times out of ten, it was due to my efforts. Lately though, I had begun to slip in my duties. I didn’t think anything of it at first. I mean, being released from the shackles of endless paperwork and government forms didn’t sound too bad, right? I felt justified in my ease back into my life that I didn’t realize how much I had given up on that front until much later… probably much later than I should have realized. Penelope didn’t say anything, and that didn’t help matters, but it was right around the end of the month that I realized I hadn’t paid the rent or any of the other fees associated with the upkeep of a safehouse. For instance, something like diapers cost a fortune around here, yet I hadn’t picked up as so much as even a single case in weeks. Panicking, I confronted Penelope. “Relax,” Penelope said calmly. “I just did the bills last week and ordered a new shipment two days ago. It’s all taken care of.” “It is?” I always did the bills at the end of the month. Even when I was originally on my clean streak away from Enilikas, I had still done that. I had still gone shopping, but now… I could barely remember the last time I had done it. It shook me to my core that I was now only just realizing that fact. Penelope nodded. “I just thought with everything going on, it might just be best for you to stick with the Littles.” She looked away and toward the congregated Littles in the other room, now all watching Princess Poppy. “You just seem so good with them lately. Almost freaky good, but who am I to question all that? They seem to like you more and tantrums have dropped noticeably in most of them during the past few weeks.” Penelope then pointed to a nearby calendar on the wall. “With it being so close to the end of the month and all, I figured I would just save you some effort this round of things. Leaves you to focus on helping our Littles out in a way that I’m not even sure that Mildred, Jackie, or even Vivian could. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you just how tricky they can be with all their backgrounds and little subtleties.” For once today, I felt a surge of pride fill my chest rather than a new wave of shame over something different in my life, like not paying the bills. It seemed so minor, but here I was now, being praised for my efforts… something that hadn’t quite happened much since that terrible night with the tattooed man. So, when I heard a compliment thrown my way, I gravitated toward it like nothing else. It was a temporary relief, and I figured as long as I was ultimately the one in charge, it didn’t really matter who did the rest. In a way, Penelope was almost acting as my accountant… nothing more. Things kept progressing like that for a while where Penelope or I would notice a slip but then move on with our lives as best we could. So, weeks started to go by, and I found myself falling into a routine of sorts. When needed, I would come back from Adulescens, a little clearer minded and increasing memories of what happened there after I had taken the Moro. Curiously, instead of freaking out over what I did remember, I found myself enjoying those memories, or at least having the feeling of happiness when I did. Then, I would come back to work, and everything would be fine… until it wasn’t. Slow at first, but then something obvious would occur that would be vividly clear to practically everyone else but me increasingly most of the time lately. Little things perhaps, but all together… problematic. Maybe it was my clothes. Maybe it was my hair, or interest in books or TV. I’m not sure why, but despite feeling better, I could see I was changing overall in little ways. It scared me, but I wasn’t sure what else I could do. Admitting a problem felt so wrong, but I vowed if it was something big, I would tell Penelope right away. So, life went on, but one morning, I woke up and realized something else new had planted itself in my life. I couldn’t place it at first. I was foggy and my ‘adult brief’ was wet… again. It was almost commonplace at this point for me to have leaked at least a little in my sleep. Nothing torrential, but enough where I started to see a worried look on Penelope’s face when she started to ask me about their ‘status’ every morning. She made sure to phrase it just like that, but it was a tiny humiliation that had been added to our routine lately. But this morning… something seemed different. I felt… relaxed. Not scared or apprehensive about what fresh new loss I would experience today. Just relaxed, and even more so than I had in a long time. I tried to search my sleepy brain as best I could, but I just couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way. I could have just left it alone, but with everything going on with me lately, anything new could be a potential problem or new embarrassment. Today was not the day everyone was going to find out about me, so I needed to get to the bottom of what was happening. So, to try and figure it out, I reached for my phone to look over the checklist I had started forming of some of my more severe regressive reactions and see if I could figure out if any of them had gotten worse. As I did though, I realized what this strange new sensation was and that I had a problem on my hands… hand. I was sucking my thumb. Panic struck me hard. I tried desperately to yank the digit out of my mouth, one of the reasons I realized I was doing it in the first place, but there was a part of me that I couldn’t deny and seemed much stronger than my own conscious will of mind. This side, the one part of me that felt like it had a will of its own, wanted to keep my thumb firmly between my lips. In a very real sense, this other side was practically a ghost to me, but I could feel one prominent emotion. Fear. Despite the current disconnect, I felt that if I removed it, for whatever reason, my emotions would collapse in seconds, and I would be reduced to only a wailing boss of this place and nothing more… forever. That scared me to my very core. I couldn’t let that happen… not today, but this was something big. As such, I knew I needed to tell Penelope right away about this latest symptom. She didn’t say it out loud, but I saw that she had been keeping track of them as well. For her though, it wasn’t a private list. I had seen it a few weeks ago when they thought I wasn’t looking, but she was sharing her findings ‘secretively’ with Dr. Benson when they saw each other at Adulescens. The two had actually become a lot closer recently after talking about their care for me so much. His was more clinical in his approach when it came to my care, but the bond between them was still there. I could sense it, but as I continued to panic, I knew that today wasn’t about them. It was about me. I needed to see her. I needed to cover up my pajamas and bulge around my midsection first, but I still needed to see her. She’d know what to say about this… she’d know what to do. So, hastily throwing on a bathrobe, I burst out of my room, not even bothering to put on another dry ‘brief.’ I could always do that later. Right now, Penelope needed to hear this news right away. Getting to her door, I willed everything inside of me and yanked with all my might against the thumb still lodged in my mouth. Fortunately, my quick actions removed the offending digit with an audible ‘pop.’ I whimpered briefly at the force that it had taken to prevent such a babyish action but knew reporting it was more important than my own feelings currently. So, I simply took a breath and then opened her door and swarmed into Penelope’s room. “Miss Pen… Penelope! Penelope!” The sleeping form in front of me shifted around under the covers, stretched a long skinny arm out and checked her nearby alarm clock. “It’s 6 in the morning, Tiffany. Go back to bed…” I hadn’t realized that, but I felt my needs were more pressing than something as stupid as sleep. Babies slept and I needed to tell her something. Nothing else seemed important. “But Penelope!” I don’t know why, but I felt I had to tell her about this single piece of information as if it were a matter of life and death. “I gotta tell you something!” The figure under the sheets groaned again, but ultimately began to shift from underneath them. It wasn’t long before a mass of tangled dark brown hair emerged. “Geez, Tiff. What’s so important that it can’t wait for another hour? It’s Sunday…” With her clearly annoyed demeanor, I suddenly felt oddly afraid that me sucking my thumb wasn’t in fact a big deal, but I also knew that I was already here. If I was going to maybe get punished for something, I might as well say it all while I still had the chance. “I, uh… I… I sucked my thumb! I didn’t even realize it. I was jus’ sucking it this mornin’ an’ I didn’t want to take it out!” Through the mass of hair perched at the head of the bed, Penelope only blinked at me for a moment. Barely seen as it might have been, her face was neutral overall, and I really couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I had a gnawing pit in my stomach that somehow this was only the beginning and that her neutral expression was simply the calm before the storm. Instinctively, I even started to move my hands behind my butt… just in case she thought I was being naughty. ‘Perfectly reasonable, right?’ After a moment of that fear though, Penelope sighed. “Well… I guess we both know what that means…” I had to think for a moment. I briefly panicked, thinking I was going to get punished for waking her up before her alarm went off, but that feeling subsided. Like a wave rolling back, once it did, the answer she was searching for felt so obvious afterward. ‘Why couldn’t I remember something like Adulescens? Was it really that early and that’s what was blocking me from remembering that’s what she was actually implying?’ “Adulescens? I mean… again?” I didn’t want to go back in what felt like the span of only a few days, but Penelope nodded firmly. “Buh’ we just got back…” I felt so despondent, I nearly felt the tears already starting to form in my eyes over the notion of having to go back to that place. To be a baby again… With a concerned look and a sigh though, Penelope swung herself out of bed and came over to me before giving me a big hug, clearly seeing my distress over the notion of returning so soon this time. “It’s okay, Tiff. It’s just one more night this time. If you need it, you need it. No big deal, right? You always feel better afterward and that’s what’s important.” She then paused and turned me around to face. “You do feel better afterward still… right?” Even through my distress, I could hear the tiny panic behind her question. I couldn’t blame her, because if I didn’t, it meant the treatment was no longer working I knew I did though, so I didn’t panic this one time, and I nodded quickly. “Uh huh… always…” Outwardly at least, Penelope seemed relieved. “Well, that’s good and something at least we can hold onto.” She seemed lost in thought for a moment, but then smiled down at me. “Come on. The others won’t be awake for a little bit. Since we’re both up, how about I go make us some delicious pancakes for breakfast? Does that sound good?” Sniffling the last of my distress back, I didn’t need a second more to answer and brightened up over the prospect. Penelope always made the best breakfast. “Oh yeah! And… and can I get mine with strawberries and butter and syrup all over?” I wanted what I wanted, and, in that singular moment, I didn’t care. “Maybe even a happy face as well?” Penelope laughed, but to my relief, nodded. “Sure, you can, Tiff. Just let me get my robe on and we can go down together.” I only smiled and waited for her to come back. Despite a single setback, I felt better than ever. It was an odd feeling, but my turbulent emotions had one upside. Seconds to cry for me also meant that I was seconds from bliss as well. It was strange to witness from my own actions and oddly familiar, but for now, everything felt just as it should… Things started picking up even more after that unfortunately and the happiness I felt that morning didn’t last forever. Breakfast was great, but that same look of concern briefly swept over Penelope’s face later. It probably didn’t help that I got all sticky and even dropped my food back on my plate accidentally. It was just once, but that old look flashed on Penelope’s face. I briefly wondered if I should be worrying more, but I just passed it off as something she needed to worry about so much… not me. She did enough of the worrying for the both of us. At least until about a week later … I had gone to Adulescens twice since I had woken up sucking my thumb. Both times were powerful sessions, and I was remembering even more from them. Embarrassingly, moments of diaper changes and playing with blocks, and even enjoying story time there were becoming engrained memories in my mind. I still felt like I wasn’t fully in control, and that might have helped me come to grips with the memories and not worry about them, but I consistently remembered one thing after each time: I had fun. It was a concerning notion, particularly as the rumors swirled about the safehouse when Jonathan began to have fun with the rest of the Littles as well. I knew I wasn’t one of them… a Little like him, but our paths, though different, felt eerily similar. If I believed in magic, I might have thought someone cursed us with the same spell, but this was reality. All I knew was the results that Penelope and Mildred could see so clearly as well. Jonathan and I were different, but I wondered just how different. Hauntingly, if we weren’t as different as I might have liked, and others were concerned about him having fun, what did that say about me? It kept me up most nights, and it took a healthy cuddling session with Miss Pink to get any sleep whatsoever. It was fine at first, but I guess that lack of sleep started to catch up with me a few weeks later… I was already on edge today. An old friend had stopped by and thought I had gone ‘native’ and promptly ran away, thinking I was a ‘freak’ or had caught some new virus. I only stuck my tongue out at her. Next, Mildred and Penelope told me that they needed to take over a few more responsibilities around the safehouse. I wasn’t passing out anymore, and that was a good thing, but even still, I was slipping a bit more as time moved on. Nothing major, but my actions seemed almost puppeteered by another at times… a puppeteer who was far younger than the Big I needed to be for this safehouse. It was terrifying when I ‘awoke’ to find myself somewhere else or even dressed differently than the last thing I remembered. No passing out and I was still conscious, but another force seemed to take over. It was only logical that Mildred and Penelope would ensure that things around the safehouse were taken care of… just in case my ‘puppeteer’ became a more regular presence in my life. Now, though, I had just shut off the TV in anger over the continuing trial of some of the last members of the whole incident with the tattooed man, his gang, and those who had been hunting Willy in the first place. It was maddening that the trial was still going on, but I had another problem to deal with already. Seth was having another one of his ‘bad days.’ “Seth! Put that book down and give it back to Jonathan!” He was keeping the book just out of Jonathan’s reach as he perched on one of the couch arm rests. “No! You gotta come make me, Miss G!” Seth taunted. My patience was already thin with him after he scribbled in red crayon on the wall the other day. He claimed it was his favorite color and just wanted to make things ‘pretty,’ but a faint outline of it could still be seen… even with our society’s advanced cleaning chemicals for every type of mess in a safehouse. “I’m king and you can’t make me!” Analyzing the situation, Jonathan seemed poised to have a breakdown of his own and Seth was questioning my authority. It wasn’t good, so, feeling I didn’t have many other options, I marched right over to him. I wasn’t sure of my intentions as I did so though. Usually, I had a plan of some kind already in place, but now… my emotions just seemed to surge forth instead of my usual and more rational thought. It was just a pure gut feeling that Seth wouldn’t be quieted until someone put him in his place once and for a… “Ow!” I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking and slammed the front side of my foot right into the wooden baseboard trim in one corner of the entryway into the living room. The baseboard was solidly built and primed with a nice off-white color. Pleasant, but sturdy and a perfect edition to the safehouse… until now. I secretly cursed the builders for not putting in something cheaper that wouldn’t have just hurt me. I was angry with my own stupidity in hitting the baseboard with my toes, but on another level, the shock of stubbing multiple toes was a tragedy to seemingly every part of who I was. I couldn’t place why exactly, but it felt like it was pain, tragedy, loss all in one… I felt the tears coming from a mile away and while part of me wanted to groan over what I knew was coming with my fragile emotions, I had gone through this enough by now to know that I was powerless to stop it at this point. I was getting pretty good at identifying my own personal fog and the feelings associated with. Waking up this morning to a soaked ‘brief,’ I knew I was in for a bad day regardless. Everything else and then stubbing my toes just made it worse and I could feel it keenly in my very soul. When I felt the first drops of tears splash on my cheeks though, everything I had been hiding inside, burst right up to my head and foot. My foot was in pain and my head was processing it all. Not a problem before the tattooed man… maybe just a few curses and ice at the worst with something like this, but that was my old life. With my new life, I didn’t have such luxuries of holding back. The pain building, my tears even flowing faster, I cursed it all. “Darn it! Stupid, stupid wall! You big meanie!” “Miss G?” Harry was nearby as well and seemed to try to get my attention, maybe even to try and help me, but I was too distraught to really notice his small form and his quiet voice off to my side. Regardless, still not seeing Harry was trying to talk to me, I was about a half second away from trying to kick the same spot again out of revenge. It wasn’t logical but it felt like the right thing to do then. Fortunately for my foot though, I think Penelope might have heard my curse. Seconds later, thundering footsteps approached from upstairs. Her head followed and popped out just above the topmost stairs going up. “What’s going on here?” Her eyes darted around the room. From her perspective at this late stage, Seth was now perched on an armchair of the couch with the book that clearly was on loan from me to Jonathan… and Jonathan only. Then, looking at me, I was crying and sobbing already by now as I clutched my injured foot. No blood, but the scene was still perfectly set. “Seth! What did you do?” In a moment, the playful yet taunting Seth cowed at her feet. Penelope had developed a stern reputation as the one no one wanted to mess with around here. She was my iron-fist and righthand person before, but now with my more reserved condition, her reputation only grew in my absence. “But… buh… I didn’t doo anythin’!” It sounded more like an excuse, and I think it only angered Penelope more. Thundering down the rest of the way, Penelope walked over to Seth and glared at him. “Mildred!” Another pair of running feet could be heard from higher up than Penelope had been, so it took longer, but only moments later, she popped her head out from the top of the stairs as well. From her strain though, unlike Penelope, even through my tears, I felt she was just able to make the distance by standing on her tippy toes. “Yes, Penelope? Is there something…” Her eyes shifted toward me and Seth. “Oh my!” Unlike the iron-fist of Penelope though, her kinder instincts kicked in more and she was soon by my side and checking me out. “Are you okay, Miss G? Are you hurt? Did Seth hit you again?” “She just stubbed her toes,” Jonthan said bluntly with a little annoyance over the whole situation. “Nothing more. I promise. Just don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?” I couldn’t tell what he was thinking today as far as I was concerned, but I briefly feared that in this one scene, I had lost the respect of another person in this safehouse. I hoped I was wrong, but I didn’t have anything more to go off right then. Besides, my poor toes and my sobs were pulling my attention away more anyway. “Clearly, something did happen,” Penelope started, sighing. “But since none of you seem to know what, or are just choosing to remain silent, we’re going to divide you all further apart later tonight. Best get your stories straight, but for now…” Her glance shot to me. I could feel her eyes practically burrow into my soul, but finally, her exhausted but determined and kindly face looked at Mildred. “You stay down here with the others. Keep them calm and entertained.” Like a snap of a rubber band, Penelope then stared angrily and deeply at Seth. “As for you…” I didn’t think Penelope actually had a plan for him, but she knew of at least one holding measure. “You go to the naughty corner… and sit on the stool.” Everyone’s eyes bulged out in shock and fear for poor Seth. I knew the naughty stool was in rare form, but everyone also knew that unless it was for something minor, like talking back after a long day, the naughty stool was just a stopgap measure to a punishment spanking and maybe even more if deemed necessary. Seemingly frightened, Seth could only nod and trudge over to the naughty stool in the corner of the room. For the moment, Seth was likely going to have to stick his nose in the corner for maybe the next hour or so. It was a punishment in and of itself to just have to sit and know that a spanking was most likely around the corner waiting to be doled out to you. I might have spoken up, as he hadn’t hurt me per say, but he had stolen something from another Little and it wasn’t his first offense. Finally, though, Penelope turned to me and held out her arm. “Come with me upstairs and let’s just take a look at those toes, okay?” Nodding, I took her hand, and we started up the stairs. “It’s just stress. That’s all. It’s nothing more, so you don’t need…” I heard Mildred begin to explain to the others as Penelope and I climbed our way to the top where my room was. Ashamedly, I wished it was just that. I had plenty of reasons to be stressed for sure, but this was different. This was that stupid shot the tattooed man gave me, and while I knew by now it was nothing to be ashamed over, that didn’t make it any less emotionally painful to endure. “I jus’ don’ know anymore, Penny!” I sobbed once we were back up in my room as Penelope checked my foot for any permanent problems caused by my collision. “I wanna be okay and move on, but every time I try, I…” “Slip a little more?” With a fresh batch of sobs, I could only nod my head. “Yeah… that’s just no fun.” She then sighed and looked at my outstretched foot on her lap. “Well, your toes seem sore but just bruised if anything. How about you give me another hug and we find Miss Pink for you? Does that sound good?” She barely had finished her question, and I didn’t even nod before I slammed right into her. Like she was my own teddy bear, I buried my sorrows into her welcoming form. I could tell Penelope was shocked and almost out of air from my sudden impact, but quickly, she took to stroking my hair and rubbing my back. It didn’t stop my crying, but for a moment, I at least felt better. “I jus…” I was running out of words to describe even how I was feeling anymore. I felt like I was at a total loss for my next steps in life. “I need help. Penny… wha’ do I…?” “Shhh, shhh,” Penelope consoled. “No need for all that. You just focus on taking some deep breaths. In… and out. Good… Now, in… and out.” She smiled more broadly with each I did successfully. “Very good. You keep these up, and you’ll be just fine in no time.” I loved the praise, and while I wished the moment would never end, I knew the safehouse needed to be attended to and Seth needed to receive his punishment eventually. Penelope cared for me, no doubt, but now, she had other matters to attend to, so I let her go. Now getting up, she walked over to my door and opened it before turning back to me temporarily. “I think you should just stay up here for a bit. Maybe read or even take a nap. Feel better and come downstairs to eat later. I’ll check on you in a bit, but for now… you just rest, okay?” I nodded, but as she left and I got up to find a book to read and make all my worries go away, I felt a squish beneath me. My diaper needed to be changed… now. Not even bothering with closing my door, I rushed to my bathroom in fear of ruining my clothes if I waited a second longer. These diapers were functional, but they were more of a one ‘accident’ type of diaper. What was going on underneath my pants now was definitely more than one. I tried at first to undo my pants myself, but I was still shaking from my previous breakdown. I hated everything, but this was starting to really feel like a low point so far. I needed a change, but I couldn’t even get my fingers to work. I wanted to say dirty words all over the place, but instead, I felt my emotions resurge back up in my throat. “Need some help there?” Like a miracle come to my door, I looked over, and a slightly timid, but calm Penelope was back. I looked down at my own failure and then back at her. I didn’t want help, but my wants and needs were starting to become more at odds with each other lately. One thing was certain though, despite everything else, I knew I needed to change, and I knew in my current emotional state, I really couldn’t do it. So, setting my ‘wants’ yet again, I turned to Penelope and nodded my head. Gratefully, being ever gracious and calm about everything, Penelope quickly went into what I recognized as her work mode. Embarrassing or not, I saw she was using the same steps as the ones she used on Littles, and though that mortified and disturbed me on some level, I needed help to change my diaper. At some point, embarrassment and mortification are only superficial feelings. Diaper rash and leaking were very much present ones that shouldn’t be ignored, so I just let her do what she needed to. Penelope then guided me over and laid me down on the changing pad I had purchased for myself a few weeks ago when I started using the ‘briefs’ more. It was a bit childishly decorated with clouds and tiny puppies playing about them, but it was still functional and that’s all I really cared about right now. Anything else was just purely coincidental… ‘I swear!’ Penelope saw the designs on the mat but didn’t make a comment about it or really anything else for that matter. I wasn’t sure if that was better or not, but I knew it at least wasn’t making me feel even worse than I already did. In truth, there was some comfort in that at least. “Alright, lift up for me.” That and other similar commands were all she ever said to me. Even as she stripped my shorts off and revealed my soaking ‘brief,’ she didn’t make any faces and went about her duty. I felt like I could die from my sheer embarrassment, but as she removed the tapes on either side, I had a moment of clarity. A cloud was a cloud, and a bottle was a bottle. I could parry the words around all I wanted to, and this ‘brief’ was that, but it was a diaper as well. There was no hiding that fact as the sides fell apart, and I was exposed to the world because I had soaked it. It was a diaper, and at that thought, I couldn’t help but blush even more. Further, here Penelope was, viewing my nethers on my bed upstairs. This was all kinds of safehouse violations for personal conduct codes, but today was different. While I guess her tender ministrations of wiping and cleaning me could have been something more in another time and scenario, here it was only clinical. Today, I was just another person under this roof needing a diaper change. Like any other Little attended to here, it was unglamorous but necessary. Curiously though, my thoughts were soon interrupted as I felt a newer and slightly thicker diaper then replace my old one. Still, Penelope said nothing about the change in my protection, but I could still feel the difference. Another bruise to my ego, but at the same time, it was oddly a boost to my confidence. Thicker meant less leaks, and therefore more time out and about without needing to change. Sadly, by now, I knew very well that I was always a fan of when something like that happened. Still, through it all, after taping the last adhesive tape into place and pulling my shirt down over my new and thicker diaper, Penelope only smiled afterward. She then simply made sure I was okay, and then closed my door as she left. What could have been the single worst moment of my life, was actually just a straightforward transaction of sorts. No glitz or glamor, but still, it was comforting and efficient. Strangely, I felt like I was just another one of her charges around here as I sat on my bed, dry and smelling sweetly of baby powder. ‘But that had to be crazy talk, right?’ Regardless of what it felt like though, I was exhausted, so I didn’t even bother pulling my shorts back up as I crawled into bed with Miss Pink. The smell of my fresh change wafted all around me, but it only made me feel more relaxed. Seeking even more comfort after my stressful day, I slowly gave into the impulse I had been feeling all afternoon. With a single effort, I placed my thumb in my mouth. It felt so right, but yet so wrong. Adulescens was supposed to represent my best hope in getting better, but seeing myself this afternoon, I felt anything but that. ‘What had gone wrong? Was I somehow different? Would I ever be okay? What if all this reached its conclusion? Would I even still be me? Would I…?’ I shook my head off from those terrible thoughts. I feared what would have happened if I hadn’t taken all the steps that I had, but I knew I couldn’t dwell on those feelings anymore of ‘what if’ scenarios. For today, regardless of what was going wrong, I knew I just needed to rest and get some peace back into my life… just like Penelope had told me to. It was hard, but ever determined, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off. Those other problems were for tomorrow and the bad news I felt I knew was coming could wait. For now, I just wanted my own tiny slice of comfort… no matter how short it might last.

Hey everyone! Yay! This story is now officially over halfway through. It might not be getting as much love as I would hope, but the poll is going great, and I can see that there’s at least a few of you reading this thing. So, for those of you that are, I just want to thank you sincerely. These stories are great, but they’re almost nothing (besides to my own enjoyment in writing them) if you all don’t enjoy them as well. Now, like I said before, I have another trip starting tomorrow, and I won’t have time to write anymore tomorrow or this weekend. I should be able to hit this story back again on Monday, but I will note here that it’s just tentative for now. I’m hoping everything will be fine with what is happening that day, but it’s entirely possible that Monday could be a lot for me, and I just simply won’t get to this story until Tuesday. I will work as hard as I can to get this story out there, but I just can’t make a guarantee of that at this point. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two and the previous chapter, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 7: Moro and Downward My palms sweat nearly the entire morning as Penelope, Mildred, and I got everyone ready for tonight. We had gone out before, but with the addition of Seth to our group, it was usually a policy to keep the nightly outings to a minimum when someone new had arrived and were the type of Little he was. He was definitely a cutie when he mentally regressed, but he was a terror of the house at almost all times. Still, Mildred knew the task before her, and we made sure that she and the other Littles we could rely on made an easier time of it for her. It meant a likely trip to the zoo this coming weekend to convince the Littles to be on their best behavior, but the three of us knew the importance of this for me. The problem was that at this point, at least technically speaking, I was still in charge of the safehouse. I still felt a surge of pride, but if I was being honest with myself though, Penelope was more in charge now than I was of some of the daily tasks in running this place. It didn’t matter though. Per government regulations designed to keep Littles safe from undo influence from other Bigs, only one Big was allowed to be in charge of the safehouse at a time. That was fine but said Big also needed to be certified and officially approved. Penelope was making up for my slack, and I was eternally grateful for that, but any safehouse employee knew that if Penelope eventually became the safehouse’s next leader, in case something more severe happened to me, the safehouse would need to be inspected first. Since they would question my absence or ask to me directly why I was stepping down, we all thought it best that I still remain the head of the safehouse. It was a risk, but all our options were at this point, this plan led to the fewest questions being asked. I also suspected that tonight was also going to serve as a barometer of sorts to see what our next steps could be where I was concerned. If tonight actually worked like Dr. Benson claimed it would, as he did again on the phone last night apparently when Penelope called him, I could be better and the safehouse would get back to normal. If it didn’t work though, my longing for Miss Pink all day to give me a source of comfort would have been the least of our problems. “All set?” Penelope quickly asked as she checked her personal bag for entertainment options just in case for tonight. Being our first official time, neither of us knew exactly what to expect, and every Big coming for ‘treatment’ at Adulescens needed a corresponding responsible Big. Often, it seemed that one Big could be responsible for up to four treated Bigs, to at least not crowd the space for a one-to-one ratio, but as we were new, we didn’t have that option. Checking myself briefly, I nodded back. “I think so… hard to know though with this place…” Penelope warmly smiled and rubbed my shoulder tenderly. I had to stop myself from leaning into the gesture. I was practically itching with the need for comfort of some kind. “It will be okay, Miss G. I promise. Just take some deep breaths. Mildred has it covered here and the rest of the Littles are on your side. In fact, I think for the ones that can actually handle some responsibility, they’re practically rolling around with pride and glee over being treated more maturely tonight.” “No, no. You’re right. I just… it’s a lot to process that we’re actually going tonight, you know?” Despite her caring words, which did make me feel a bit better, I still had a nagging fear in the back of my mind. “I understand that, but it will be okay.” Her glance then darted lower than my eyesight, and seeing that expression before, I knew what she was doing. Her glance then popped back to me. “And… the other thing? Are we all good there as well?” I think I nearly blushed about 10 different shades of red on the spot. Since I was only promised another bottle of Enilikas after going tonight and the fact that it seemed like stress caused my blackouts, it was hard to predict when the next one would be. Horrifyingly, I seemed to regress or swing my whole demeanor like Seth did now or that Timmy used to do all the time. He was better, but I wasn’t… So, much to my shame and humiliation in front of my two most hardworking employees, Penelope insisted that I wear a diaper of sorts full time now. We could revisit the issue later and she claimed I was wearing ‘adult briefs’ but I saw them. She could mix her words however she liked, but they were still diapers. Only my pride fueled my internal drive to keep calling them ‘adult briefs’ instead. “They’re there and they’re fine,” I tried to quickly brush off. I was still very conscious about the crinkle they induced whenever I walked around. Penelope said I was just too hyper focused on them and that no one else could hear, but even if that was the case, I knew and that was enough. Still, for now, smiling and nodding, Penelope and I then exited the house and got in her car. Mine was still parked from coming back from an errand the other day, but again, with the possibility of another blackout on my part, my driving ability was just too much in question for it to even be remotely safe. Penelope had been driving me to Dr. Benson’s and the like since the beginning, but this felt different now. My position on the passenger side now felt more childish than a simple matter of convenience. I was seated there for ‘my own good.’ Still, I tried to put all that out of my mind as we then pulled up in front of the club once more. Looking around, I could see that there were about the same number of cars here tonight as when we first came. In fact, nearly everything felt identical to the first time as well. One bouncer, check. One password, check. One bag and valuables checkpoint, check. Even Wilbur performed his song and dance routine for us. This time though, Penelope took the offered crackers tonight. “What? I’m hungry.” I just sighed and looked ahead to where I could clearly spot a happily sitting Dr. Benson. “Just come on and let’s get this over with… I see Dr. Benson already. So, let’s go over and figure out what we need to do, okay?” Penelope only stuffed her mouth with a cracker and nodded. Getting to Dr. Benson, I felt myself putting on a bit of a show for him. Nothing obvious, but I guess I was compensating as I tried to stand and even walk over to him as maturely as I could. It probably had the opposite effect, but it also made sure that Dr. Benson saw us walk in. “Ladies! Welcome back!” “Not like we had much of a choice…” I was still upset, though my nerves were starting to become my main issue at this point, but it had started to spill over into my tone. “Awww, don’t be like that!” I nearly shuddered at his playful and almost childlike voice. “We’re here to have fun and to fix you right up! Probably could use a little of that now, huh?” I didn’t want to answer him, so we all just stood in silence for a moment. “So, how do we do this?” I finally asked. I could see that Dr. Benson was already testing me tonight. I didn’t like it but considering the ‘adult briefs’ I was now wearing, I was willing to step a little more down to accommodate his ego, medical sense, or whatever was going on with him while in this place. “Well, it’s simple,” he began. “We get you nice and relaxed, and then all suited up.” “Discounting the relaxation, you almost make this sound like I’m going into a combat or hazard zone…” Flashes of my youth watching late night TV and all the reruns of violent movies or the actual reels from the Last Great War. They all seemed so final and permanent whenever they said that. I couldn’t help but gulp in my fears that this arrangement might end up being the same for me. “No, nothing like that. Just need the proper… attire.” Dr. Benson then looked around and it wasn’t hard to guess just what ‘suit’ I would be wearing. All around us, Bigs, clearly regressed and in their own world from what I could tell, crawled or toddled around. Occasionally, one would fall, but they either wouldn’t care about the impact, or they would tear up and not a moment later, another Big would swoop in. “Fine.” I had come here to heal myself and prevent the ‘adult briefs’ I was wearing now from going… further. “What’s next then?” “Well, you take your pill and then you have some fun!” he said too cheerfully. But then my mind snapped to one word he had just used. “After, we get your sorted and then it’s…” “Wait… pills?” My mind tried to justify that they were the Enilikas pills again, but I knew that even if I had any leftover, per Dr. Benson’s own instructions, I couldn’t take them until later. “What pills are you talking about exactly?” Dr. Benson’s face went white. It was the first time I really saw him looking nervous. It scared me honestly. “You mean… you don’t know?” I shook my head, hoping this was just some mix-up in communication. “You should have been told. I left specific instuc… tions…” He paused awkwardly, and then furrowed his brow, like he was trying to solve some complicated math problem. “Wait…” He then leaned over a little and looked directly behind me. “Penelope?” I spun around to face my employee. This time, instead of her usual confident self, I saw someone nearly shirking under the very visible and recent spotlight. “What did you do?” I pressed. I was feeling the fog, but this sudden turn of events was giving me enough ‘umph’ to push through. “I…” Penelope wrung her hands together and shifted on the spot. “I didn’t tell you Miss G. You would have never agreed to have come and…” She looked back up at me and I instantly saw the fear, the concern, and the worry for me all mixed into one. “You need this place, Miss G! Whether you realize it or not. No matter what Dr. Benson asks you to do, you need to do it! I don’t care if I lied. You need this place, and I promised to help you through this! I…” “Penelope!” Dr. Benson barked. She quickly quieted down and went back to her previous shrinking pose. “Both of you… with me… now!” We didn’t need any other prompting, and both followed him to a back room. Inside were various paddles and even a single stool in the corner. I knew it was the punishment room and I could instantly feel my heart start to race, and my palms start to get sweaty. Dr. Benson then stopped and pivoted to face us both. “I’m very disappointed in both of you.” “Me?” I questioned. I felt I hadn’t done anything wrong here. Penelope was the one who lied to me. I was the victim! “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Dr. Benson sighed but then glared right at me. “You made Penelope feel that she had to lie to you. She was probably right in the fact that A, you need this, and B, you wouldn’t have come here if she had told you the truth. She’s just trying to help you and for a split second, I just wish you would allow others to help you.” Properly put in my place, I hung my head low. They were both right, and I was wrong. I just didn’t like being lied to… “And you…” Dr. Benson snapped his attention to Penelope. “She’s the one with a condition here. I would expect lies from her as a defense mechanism, but you? You need to step up to this plate, or so help me, I will find someone else who will. No more lying! Do you understand?” I could see Penelope briefly look at the implements in the room, and almost opposed to the usual confident demeanor I had seen her with lately, she only meekly nodded. “Yes, Dr. Benson. I’m sorry…” Dr. Benson didn’t let up his scowl though. Penelope clearly saw why as she turned to me. “And I’m sorry too, Miss G. I shouldn’t have lied to you…” “Okay. Good,” Dr. Benson declared before I could apologize. “The night is only so long, and we need to get to it right away. Tiffany, you can apologize to Penelope later.” Fearing anymore scolding more than normal for some reason, I quickly nodded my head. “Good.” He then reached into his front suit pocket and pulled out a single blue case and popped it open. The two pills shined in their glossy black appearance. “This is called ‘Moro.’ It will help relax your mind. Ease your burdens if you will. It also boosts the Enilikas once you take that when you leave. It’s a powerful combination, and if it works right, you shouldn’t need to come here very often. First though, you need to sign these forms.” I sighed and just followed Dr. Benson away. In seconds, I had affixed my name to several legal documents. Each gave permission and care to those here in the building, plus a massive and strict confidentiality agreement that bound everyone to this place. Breaking any of the rules set down was ground for immediate expulsion from Adulescens, stopping of all future medication, and likely legal problems as well. In essence, to violate that around here meant one’s doom anyways. “Okay,” I said, after taking a massive deep breath. “I think I’m ready. Or at least… as ready as I’m ever going to be I guess.” Dr. Benson smiled. “That’s something and you being ready is an important part.” He then waved over, and Wilbur came running. Seconds later, I had two Moro pills and a glass of apple juice to wash it down with. “Okay. That… woah.” I had swallowed the pills and Dr. Benson couldn’t stop smiling. I almost wanted to tell him to stop it, but I was already feeling a warm sensation of sorts. “Easy there, Tiffany.” Dr. Benson gestured over to Penelope to come help me sit down and to make sure I didn’t completely fall over. “This first dose is the big kicker. We’ll record it for your records and ours and we’ll see just where you end up and what you’re like. We do each step carefully, but be warned… the first time, it’s not uncommon to blackout.” “What?” I didn’t know that. Strangely though, despite my mental fear setting in, I only felt what I could describe as a giddy joy rising up through my body. “Is it safe?” “Perfectly.” Dr. Benson got closer and rubbed my back. He also gave an all-knowing look to Penelope I couldn’t quite place, but honestly, in that moment, I really didn’t care I couldn’t place the look. “It might just feel a little funny when you finally…” * * * “I think she’s coming to…” I heard a familiar voice say through the fog that was now rapidly clearing as I opened my eyes. “What… where… who… ugh!” I clutched my head as the bright lights from the room almost instantly gave me a headache. “What’s going on? Where am I?” Dr. Benson then crouched down to my view. “Well, you’re perfectly safe, first off. Your treatment was a success. Isn’t that right, Penelope?” Penelope leaned in over me and smiled. “That’s right Dr. Benson. You were just so great tonight, Tiffany. A real cutie and a trooper to boot.” She seemed… different but I just could quite place why. The fog lifting even more now, I looked around the room. It seemed to be a backroom of sorts that appeared like it was used for several purposes. Medical equipment lay to one side while bins of various items lay to the other. For my part, I was dressed back just the way I came in, but my buttons seemed different… like someone else had dressed me. I wasn’t sure if that disturbed me more or for the simple fact that my ‘adult brief’ felt different than the one I had first put on. Dr. Benson then handed a single disc to Penelope. “You two should watch this. Things can get lost in the moment for you Penelope, so I suggest a rewatch, but for you Tiffanny… I think it will be an… enlightening experience for you.” My sense nearly coming back fully to me, I leaned forward and swung my legs over the doctor’s exam table I had been laying on. “I very much doubt that. Whatever you saw… whatever you two think you might have saw… it isn’t me. It was jus the drug… nothing more.” Penelope and Dr. Benson both seemed skeptical of that. “Well… maybe to some degree, sure, but so you know… Moro really only affects your inhibitions. With most regression drugs, they bury themselves in your mind. They can be a lot worse all at once sometimes, because those barriers we build up as we grow are quickly taken down. Moro does that to perfection. So, sure… the ‘you’ on this disc isn’t ‘you,’ but it’s definitely not something that just came out of the blue. This is you, Tiffany. It’s just another version of you… it’s only buried down deep in places you dare to go within your own mind.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, so Penelope quickly packed up and headed out. Creepily, we were the last ones to leave, so when we were collecting our valuables before exiting, Dr. Benson came up to us without any reservations. “Wait… just one more thing to think about before you go.” I willed every ounce of my being not to groan at being kept longer. I was already feeling extremely tired and for some reason, my knees really hurt. “And what is that exactly?” Dr. Benson sighed. “The disc… it’s all true and it might be embarrassing for you but remember two things. First, this one event can prevent dozens more. If you come back on a regular basis and take what I tell you, you should be much better off than before.” He paused, and I really wasn’t sure if it was more to collect his thoughts or if it was just for added effect. “Second thing,” he finally continued, “is that while the tape is true and you were right in saying that a large part of tonight was from the Moro drug, there’s another part as well that I forgot to mention.” Intrigue my body seemed to lean in, consciously or even subconsciously. “Tonight, and what you see in that disc… if you don’t keep this up, that will likely be what happens to you in the future.” He then straightened himself up and tugged at the jacket he was now collecting from the front as well. “Just food for thought…” ‘Food for thought’ indeed… The whole ride back with Penelope was just us sitting in silence. I could tell she wanted to talk to me, but I could almost see the disc burning through her purse seated between us as I yearned and yet feared what was on it. All this could be the solution to my darkest fears, but seeing that tape… I knew it could be my undoing as well. The next day, I was nearly itching to finally have a moment of rest later in the afternoon. Mildred and Jackie were both on and Penelope was serving as a back-up and extra hand if needed. Seth still hadn’t exactly calmed down in his personality swings quite yet. We managed, but none of us wanted to take a chance with him again and be unprepared due to a lack of personnel. Still, I wandered up to my room, grabbed Miss Pink from under my bed, and then popped the disc in. Sitting back on my bed and making sure only the speakers nearest to my bed were functioning so I could still listen to it quietly, I pressed play. From the start, I was horrified. Like the previous video I had watched with my interaction with Seth and my subsequent breakdown in front of him, I almost felt like I was looking at a different person in this case as well. That Big had my same hair, same build, even my same voice, but everything else was completely different. The Big I was seeing now was six seconds away from either being completely giggly to a bucket of tears in the next moment. To be honest, I think that got to me way more than even when I plopped myself onto the changing table and had my own diaper changed by Penelope. On some level, I knew she did that, but considering I was already wearing an ‘adult brief’ now, my change yesterday didn’t shock me. Even the strawberry-themed romper I was placed in wasn’t out of place, but my behavior… it just scared me. If I didn’t see the screen and only heard the audio, I could have sworn I was listening to any Little off the street or staying downstairs. It disturbed me to my very core, but I kept watching through snack time, coloring time, and even story time. It was a lot to watch, but two things became very clear to me. First, I knew it was me and I was completely regressed in the video I was watching. Not babbling or soiling myself, but regressed, nonetheless. If the doctor’s warning to me about this being my future was at all true, it made one thing clear. Second though, even after my initial fog and my embarrassment watching everything unfold still lingered, I had never felt clearer… even with the Enilikas. Still, both notions led to the same conclusion; I had to go back. I might have been cuddling with Miss Pink today, but everything else felt more normal. In a way, despite the ‘adult brief’ and Miss Pink, I had never felt more adult or opposite to the Big I was now viewing. Before I could watch any further though, I heard a knock at my door. Curious, I paused the video and then went over to open my door. It was a tear-eyed Jonathan. “Jonathan… is everything okay? Are you hurt?” He shook his head rapidly, but like Seth had done the other day, Jonathan shuffled about and was clearly trying to hide the crotch of his pants. Wearing pull-ups meant that he likely hadn’t leaked, especially considering that the floor was dry under him, but his hand nearly pointed me right in the direction of the problem though. Knowing Jonathan as I did though, I knew my technique could and likely had to be different when dealing with this kind of situation as opposed to Seth. There were many factors, but chiefly… Jonathan was wearing pull-ups, but seeing him now like this, I knew sadly that they were just going to be a thing from his past yet again. “Is there something you need to tell me, honey?” To some, it might have sounded far too saccharine, but I knew for Jonathan in this moment, he likely knew what it meant. He didn’t need a firm hand or trickery. He needed compassion and care. “I… I…” Jonathan tried to look me in the eye and confess what he had mistakenly done in his pull-up, but I could see that his shame was too overwhelming. “I didn’t make it in time.” I could already see the tears forming and I went in for a hug, like I had one a thousand times before whenever a Little hit this stage. Something stopped me though. Right as I leaned in to give him a hug, I continued to do so to ensure that Jonathan wouldn’t question what was wrong, but this time, I heard a crinkle. To my shame, Jonathan had outlasted me in moving from his first layer of protection to his second now. I had used an old lady pad, and he had been in pull-ups. Now, he was the same, for now, but I was different with my ‘adult brief.’ Of course, his own future protection would likely look very different from my own, but their purpose felt eerily too similar. Still, I knew I had to set my own feelings aside for a moment and address him directly. “That’s okay. These things happen and I’m so sorry for it, but you know what?” Jonathan and I leaned apart, and he shook his head, not knowing where I was going with this. “I bet that pull-up of yours doesn’t feel too comfortable though, does it?” He shook his head again. “Alright then. Let’s get you all sorted.” I then led Jonathan back down to his room, now on the third floor. I was tempted to move him to the fourth floor already, but Seth posed a problem. Now though, based on a unanimous vote, everyone agreed that he could be moved to the fifth floor. Now, Jonathan had a greater need for what was on the fourth floor and Seth needed more structure and safety measures in place on the fifth. I hated this part, but I knew I had to do it quick and get it over with. The faster Jonathan accepted this new path, the better it was going to be for him in the long run. “Jonathan…” He looked at me with despair, particular when he saw that I was standing by his potty-training chart. Sadly, there were more rainclouds than sunshine days lately. “I think… I think we need to discuss maybe a different option with you staying here…” Jonathan’s lower lip trembled but he seemingly refused to give in and cry. “I think we need to move you up a floor… and into diapers as well.” A single tear rolled down his cheek, but he only dropped his head in defeat. “I know…” It was always a surprise when a Little knew of a decision before any of the staff did, and while it could mean a harder road before getting there, on days like these, it made everything else so much easier. No straps, mittens, locking pacifiers, sedatives, or even straightjackets would be needed for Jonathan to comply with what needed to be done now. So, knowing what had to be done, I raised my arm out to him. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you all fresh first. I’ll have Mildred bring the rest of your stuff upstairs in the morning.” Without complaint, Jonathan took my hand, and we went up to the fourth floor. Stopping in front of the changing table, I knew I had to get the logistics out of the way first. “Okay, Jonathan. We just need to talk about a few rules and odds and ends first, okay?” Wordlessly, he nodded. “Good. First, a staff member should ask you permission to change your diaper for now at least. You get below a certain point; it just needs to happen… whether you want it or not. So, Jonathan, nod and say yes, but do you consent to a diaper change.” Another tear rolling down his cheek, Jonathan nodded. “Good. I’m very proud of you for that, Jonathan. For that, I’ll make sure you get extra desert tonight.” I then cleared my throat. “Next, let’s get you into a diaper and then we can talk about the rest afterward.” Jonathan just stood there and held his arms up. Our changing tables on this floor at least could be accessed by a Little, but I could tell he was still too much in stock. I didn’t mind and made quick work of hoisting him upward. So, easing him back, I removed his pants and revealed the sopping wet pull-up. Gathering my supplies, I then went to work. Unlike Seth, given this was Jonathan’s first diaper change, I made sure to explain all the steps to him. He didn’t need details, but I wanted to make sure he knew what was right and what was wrong. If it was wrong, I made sure he would tell a Big right away. Diapers might be required in his future, but humiliation or… problematic Bigs were not. Soon, I made sure to tape the diaper on firmly and then patted the front, this one adorned with Adventure Sam cartoon motifs. It was cute, but not babyish. Perfect for someone like Jonathan at this point. Finding a new pair of pants for him, these with snaps running up the inseams, I pulled Jonanthan up and sat him on the edge of the table, my hands never more than a few inches away to keep him from falling. “Okay, next you need to know the rules…” Jonathan didn’t say a word, so I just continued. “First, always wear a diaper. Also, never remove it yourself… just find a Big you can trust, preferably the staff from our place.” Jonthan nodded. “Now, for the moment at least, if you need to potty, let one of the staff know as soon as you can. Try not to hurt anyone or wreck anything when you do, but we will try to do our best to get ou to a potty in time.” I sighed over the next part. Some Littles didn’t react well to it… “That being said, if you are taken to the potty and someone else is using it, they take priority. Even if someone else comes along, unless they are diapers too, they get priority. Do you understand?” Sniffling, I could tell that Jonatha was too in the zone to say anything back. Still, he at least nodded. “Finally,” I continued, “just remember that any business you do in the diaper will be cleaned as thoroughly as possible for health reasons, but accidents are okay to have. This diaper…” I pointed to and even pressed slightly into the newly formed bulge in his pants. “This is just a symbol of your bodily functions and nothing more. It’s not who you are and it’s not your status here…” Like stepping forward and hearing the crinkling noise, this time I heard the rods I had told more Littles than I could count. I said that to help Littles out who felt dumb or self-conscious about their diapers. It usually helped, so I just kept up with the pep talk. Now, I felt it directly applied to me as well. My cheeks flushed in mortification of that fact, but it still helped me a little to accept my own fate in life now. Nodding himself, I could see that Jonathan desperately needed a hug. Wrapping my arms around him tightly, I made sure that he had no doubt how much he was cared for here. Then, to ensure that he only left here with happy memories, I led him back downstairs to play with his budding friends of the rest of the younger-minded group. Pleased with how it all went, I made sure to inform the ever-watchful Penelope about what had just happened. Not shocked at all and just nodding for now, we gave each other the look of ‘good job’ and the need to talk later. Mildred needed to be informed as well, but now, Jonathan was officially back in diapers. Trying to take advantage of the rest of my break, I saw that I had left my TV on with an image of me playing with a ball, clearly diapered and totally oblivious to that and probably nearly every other factor out there. I cursed myself for being so careless as anyone could have been looking for me and now would have known my secret. It was too terrible to think about. Still, as I clutched Miss Pink back on my bed and continued to watch the footage on my bed, I was disturbed by what I was seeing. I tried to vow to go less often… just at least just as much as I needed. I wasn’t sure what that meant but having successfully dealt with Jonathan and feeling clearer than ever, I had to admit Adulescens wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t great, but I felt a single hope in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, if I kept going back, one day, I would be cured of this infernal problem. For now, though, I just leaned back on my pillows with Miss Pink and watched the footage as I tried to draw something with a crayon in the art section of Adulescens. Stupid, maybe, but good? Most definitely.

Thank you. I was definitely trying for something different this time. I'm sure Guilend is just going to die of joy in the next few chapters. 🙂 Something to consider with Miss G/Tiffany though... all this is coming from her perspective. Despite the PSA, it's not a leap here to say that she's exagerating some of these problems more than they need to be. I'll expand on that more in later chapters and even other stories, but a Big being diapered at this point or exhibiting regression symptoms is certainly taboo, but it's not criminal. Frankly, the PSA really only exists to curb possible mutigen viruses from spreading amongst the Big population. Some things designed for Littles actually affect Bigs too. Despite this community maybe wanting something like that to exist, most of society would probably do anything to stop the spread as soon as possible. But also yeah... it would probably be easier for her to have been shrunk to the size of a Little, but easier isn't always better or what everyone would want. Remember, most Littles are respected even less than Big children in this society. If a Big was to shrink, that built-in buffer of respect would go away quickly. I guess anyone in that position would question whether it was better to blend in with the Littles or be embarrassed as a Big.

Hey everyone! I completely spaced out about the fact that I will be gone this Friday when I normally would post my fourth new chapter of the week. This particular trip will only last until Sunday night, but because of it, I will likely be only able to post one more chapter this week and then not again until next Monday at the earliest. I still expect to finish this story by the end of this month looking ahead, but my four chapters a week rate from my past stories likely won’t happen with the reminder of this story. Also, sorry about not posting last night or earlier today. Yesterday, I tried to see if I could write everything with my new upcoming and busier schedule, but it didn’t exactly work out. Then, today, something unexpected came up. It is what it is and the future is still up in the air more than I would like it to be, but I guess that’s just life. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link (also listed below again this time) to an informal poll back in chapter two, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. https://strawpoll.com/kjn1D82kAyQ Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 6: A Bumpy Path to Follow If You Don’t Turn Around Now I clutched the bracelet a Little had made for me a few months ago tightly in my hand. Its multi-colored beads stood in contrast with my white knuckles, and while anyone else could have made the thing pretty cheaply, I had been using it lately to help my growing anxieties. For that, it felt nearly priceless to me. Since I had gone over to Molly’s house to see her and Willy and have some lunch just to see if he was okay after the assault, I had been nervously pacing around the house every time something new happened to me. Most new incidents could just be waved off as nothing more than simply stress or a lack of sleep. My nightmares had come back last week, so that wasn’t great, but I was still coping with them and proud of myself for pushing forward. It had been almost four weeks to the day since I had last seen Dr. Benson and six days since I had run out of the Enilikas. With my numerous conversations with Penelope since I had come back from seeing Molly and Willy, I had entered into her confidence. It wasn’t much and I definitely didn’t tell her everything, as well as dismissing most of her fears or insistences that I go back to Dr. Benson, but the tiny relief I felt afterward was nothing to sneeze at. I had been managing everything pretty well since I had gone off the medication. Nightmares and tiny slip-ups, sure, but nothing major… nothing catastrophic. The safehouse still stood, the next inspection was still a little way off, and all the Littles seemed happy and as content as they could be given their current circumstances. What’s more, one quick conversation and guarantees of safety and comfort from a nice family ensured Becky’s departure two weeks ago and I already had preliminary offers for Ian, Gina, and Harry as well if they accepted them as well. So, for now at least, according to the state and their regulations about waiting periods after what had happened here with the tattooed man, they were giving us another Little. Before today, all Safehouse 81’s Littles were here prior to that night of the assault or didn’t last more than a few hours after our initial interview with them. Jonathan was a special case and most of the staff didn’t count him as new as his interview happened just the day of the assault from his worrying about his home life. Things had escalated and he had come to us after the assault, but his file had already been logged and the staff already liked him. Now, though, we were gladly accepting a completely new Little into our midst. So, after finding the bracelet the Little had made for me last week, I nervously spun it around in my fingers as everyone waited for the new Little to arrive. “I don’t understand why we all have to wait down here,” Jonathan complained as he lounged on the couch, eagerly counting the seconds as they ticked by. Normally, in this type of world and the nature of city living, the safehouse would be accepting a Little every three to five days, but the assault had limited the amount of Littles we could take in. So, Jonathan had never experienced our greeting from this side before. “Now, Jonathan…” I started to warn, though still trying to maintain my cheery demeanor. I then got an odd nagging sensation at my collar and at my waist and I briefly tugged at my clothing, but still put it out of my mind to focus on the present situation at hand. “Every new Little here is greeted openly like this if we can. It helps everyone feel welcome. Not everyone is able to come here with a clean history free of neglect or abuse.” Jonathan blushed and retreated into himself for a moment. I made a mental note to talk to him later after our new Little had arrived. He was now wearing pull-ups during the day as well and his mood had soured considerably since then. Every Little knew that diapers were just around the corner at that point and if his potty-training chart in the bathroom was any indication, he was just about there. So, for his own problems, I knew he would need a kind voice and a gently guiding hand in the coming days. The front doorbell then rang. Everyone shot up in their seats and if they could, most of the Littles then hopped off the couch and eagerly stood at attention. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if they were more antsy to get back to playing or in meeting our newest Little. Looking at my watch, the new Little was already two hours late, but my Littles were also to some degree mentally regressed and prone to impatience, so I knew it could be either. Regardless, I pressed my clothing down, made sure everyone here today was in place behind me and then opened the door. Standing there, was a Little for sure, but I could tell that he was desperately trying to cling onto some scrap of his ‘adulthood.’ A ballcap, jeans, sneakers, sunglasses, and a t-shirt with some kind of logo completed his more mature look, but the seam running up his pants and the slight bulge around his midsection spoke otherwise. “Hello there,” I greeted the newest Little. I briefly looked above him to see if anyone had dropped him off, but not seeing anyone, I looked back down at him. “You must be Seth, right?” He removed his sunglasses and looked at me directly, a scowl already forming on his face. “Yeah. What of it?” My heart dropped. I remember reading Seth’s file initially and remembered that Penelope had deeply underlined the phrase ‘prone to mood and regression swings.’ It was pretty typical, but from my experience, I was also guessing that he was new to those swings. Eventually the swings would level out, older or younger, but until then, at first at least, foul moods and the detesting of any Big was unfortunately common. Still, I knew I had to present a happy front to him. “How about you just come inside and meet the rest of the crew here?” He grumbled briefly and then brought a single bag in. I made sure not to comment on correcting his mood or the fact that he had brought so little with him. If I said even the tiniest part in a way he didn’t like, it could spell a tumultuous time to our relationship already. Entering in, I closed the door behind us and then gestured to the rest of the crowd in front of us. “Seth, this is everyone. Everyone, this is Seth.” The group all smiled and waved. Seth did not. Looking at Penelope and doing my best not to sigh, I knew I still had to walk on eggshells around Seth for the moment. Once we got to know each other, I could lay down the more trivial and everyday rules beyond the ones every Little knew before they agreed to stay here. Penelope had gone over those already with Seth, but he clearly still needed to learn those about manners and playing nice with others. I dreaded any potential playtimes at this point. “Alright everyone. I’m going to say your name and I want you to wave to Seth. For now, I just want him to start knowing your names. Getting to know each other more can come later, understand?” Every Little quickly nodded and I turned back to Seth, now sporting an annoyed and impatient look. “Okay Seth. Let’s start with the staff first.” I then started to point to Penelope and then Mildred. He would learn about Jackie and Vivian later, but I at least wanted to get his feet wet with everyone who was here today. Both then waved as I had instructed before I started announcing the Littles. Jonathan and Ian weren’t very enthusiastic, but everyone else eagerly smiled and waved. I could tell that each of them at least was nearly bursting at the seams to meet their new friend. I worried about how those interactions would go, but I reminded myself to only deal with one problem at a time. With everything going on with just me alone, more stress was just a problem waiting to happen. Still, we got through it. After Jonathan finally gave his own wave, I led Seth upstairs to the fourth floor. I felt that soon Jonathan would be joining his as well, but for now, it was just him. Changing tables adorned part of the room and more advanced picture books and toys were scattered around the walls in their own tiny cubbies and shelves. Instead of cribs though, each bed only had a shortened rail on either side near the head. Penelope continually asked me to seal them off completely on the fifth floor, having the same rails there as well, but I hated to box any Little in at night unless I had to, like I did with those in the cribs on the sixth floor. Seth quickly chose a bed in a corner of the room and sat with a slump on the bedspread, crinkling the mattress protector underneath that I had made sure to have on all my Little’s beds here. Still, despite his aversion to seemingly everything, as he took off his baseball cap, I could see the same look of hopelessness and finality of coming here that I saw in most Littles. I always found that picking your bed and actually sitting on it really struck home for most of where they were now. Simply put, safehouses were simply not vacation homes. Littles only came here when they had nowhere else to go to or felt like being away from our protection posed a threat to them in some way. It wasn’t paradise, but it was safe. From his file, I honestly wasn’t sure which category fell into though, but seeing his saddened expression, my heart still reached out to him. So, gingerly walking over, I slowly sat on the bed next to him. Considering he didn’t stop me, I was already feeling happy that I had passed that first barrier at least. “Everything okay, Seth?” I briefly saw him twitch in my direction, but instead of opening up, he just buried his look right back into his lap and the baseball cap he held in his hands there. “Big fan of the Indianapolis Imperials, huh?” In truth, I didn’t know much about baseball. It was only a recent addition to our national sports teams since the portals opened and Earthers brought it over, but I still knew a little. “Yeah… my old da… caregiver was a big fan. After seeing so many games, I guess I kind of latched on as well…” I didn’t make a big deal of his slip-up with his old caregiver’s likely self-imposed title. Daddy figures were rare in our world to start with, and even more rare after a particular virus hit most males here hard a few years before I was born. Still, they existed but I could sense that Seth was embarrassed about that relationship. I made a mental note to check out what happened between the two of them later and why he was here now. “Well, maybe we could go see a game of theirs sometime,” I suggested, trying to find a way to get Seth to open up more about his ease in staying here. I shifted uncomfortably in my clothing once more. I made a mental note to check my detergent to see if it had changed. “A lot of people who stay here have their own likes and I try to make sure everyone is happy in their own way if they let me. Does that sound like something you would maybe be interested in?” Seth only nodded, but I noticed his eyes quickly went back to his lap. I started to suspect something more, but when he squirmed awkwardly on the bed, it told me everything I needed to know. Like to his mortification, Seth needed a diaper change. “Well, I’ll see what I can do about getting tickets sometime.” Gathering up my inner strength and patience, I then turned to Seth to face him more directly. “You know… in the meantime, I’m here to help in any ways you need. So is the rest of the staff as well. If you need something… whatever that is, we’ll help you out with it, okay? No judgement.” I could already see the hesitancy in Seth asking me to help him out, but he still wouldn’t break. “Okay…” was about all he could muster. I could feel him right on the verge of cracking and asking for my help, but I didn’t want to push it. So, I just got up to hopefully push the point. Some could have seen my leaving his side, knowing he needed a diaper change, as cruel or neglectful. Seth was likely just wet, given the lack of smell beyond baby powder and floral-scented cleanser in the room, but I honestly did hate playing this game with new Littles. I just wanted to hug them and reassure them everything was going to be okay before making them all clean and fresh, but Seth needed to learn this lesson on his own if he hadn’t already. Either he would swallow his pride now and ask me for help or he would wait, get a rash, and learn the lesson that way. Diapers and Littles often just went together, and I wanted to ensure that a Little was never shy about asking me for a change. I found that it just made things way easier in the future. Right as I got to the door though, to my relief, Seth made a tiny noise that slowed me down. “Wait…” he said a few seconds later as my foot exited the room. I stopped and turned back to him, waiting to see if I needed to give him a final push or if he would ask himself. “I need… can you…” I could see the struggle he was going through and even saw it when he poked the bulge under his pants. Without saying a word, his eyes looked back up at me in desperation. It was all I needed to swoop in. I walked up to him like I was getting close to a baby deer. I knew one wrong move and he would scatter or cuss me out of the room. “I understand, Seth. There’s no need to be embarrassed in front of me. This is just something we deal with around here, but we don’t make a big deal out of it. It happens and then we make it go away, okay?” Seth almost let out a full whimper, but then just nodded. “Okay then,” I said with a discernable sigh of relief. “Now, do I have your permission to change your diaper?” I made sure to directly ask my question without any room for interpretation. Some Littles required consent, while others were mentally too young to give it but needed the change anyway. For them, I was their caregiver, and a diaper change was just part of keeping them healthy, whether they wanted it or not… like eating their vegetables at dinner. It was a tricky line and most of the time, instincts were one of the few ways to know how to proceed and those took time to master. Fortunately, in this case, Seth nodded. And that was it. I quickly plucked him off the floor and laid him down on the changing table. I popped open his pants and then ripped off his diaper before wiping him down. A minute later, he was clean, and I dumped the baby powder over him and quickly fastened a new diaper on before snapping his pants shut once more. I was quick and efficient without any fanfare or the drawing of attention to his diaper in anyway. For a new Little here, it was just what was needed. “There. All better?” To my partial surprise, though, Seth giggled back and nodded. Being one of the mental swingers here, it meant that sometimes he was his adult self. Other times, he was more of his Little self. It was a problem occasionally, but I knew to treat him with kid gloves most of the time, be prepared for any changes, and then definitely indulge his Little side whenever I could. “Oh! Looks like I’ve got a giggly Little on my hands now, huh?” I went in and tickled his belly through his shirt. Seth, against all odds from what I had seen earlier, immediately began to laugh and flinch on the changing table. I made another mental note to ensure that he was strapped down while getting a diaper change if he was in this state. Smiling for now though, I plucked him off the table and set him back down. “Okay, Seth. Do you want to stay up here and maybe take a nap or read a book, or would you prefer to go back downstairs and see everyone again?” Seth pondered the question for a moment, but then looked up at me with wide and curious eyes. “Will there be friends for me downstairs? And… and fun?” His questions were completely innocent and spoke to the Little he would likely be fully one day. Moments like these were why I became a caregiver of sorts at a safehouse in the first place. These times could be scary, and you made sure to guide a Little through those times, but other moments were just filled with the joy that only came from a Little finally feeling safe. “Absolutely. Let’s go downstairs then and meet them.” Seth nodded and even reached up to take my hand. It surprised me a bit and I wondered if Seth really belonged on the fifth instead of fourth floor, but I put that out of my mind for now and led him back downstairs. Almost instantly, he was the star of the show. I think he knew it as well and placed himself as the leader of the more regressed Littles. It was a downside of having so few Littles here lately. If one Little was less regressed than the others and no one could challenge them, they would lead with ease. I had only met one Little ever before who was more mentally regressed and yet still the leader. Regardless, for now, Seth was that leader. At first, I didn’t mind the fact. Laughter and sounds of playing echoed off the downstairs walls. Jonathan even had to retreat outside at one point, and that gave me pause if we should be continuing like this or not, but I let them have their fun. When they started running around and tossing a ball around, I knew I had to put my foot down. “Okay everyone!” I announced while clapping my hands three times. “Time to take it down a level. It’s going to be naptime soon for everyone, so let’s see if we can calm ourselves down, okay?” Most of the Littles, like Harry and Timmy quickly ceased their running, but one Little, kept running. “Never! You’re gonna have to catch me!” Seth shouted back at me as he ran into the kitchen. Only a second later, I heard the scraping of metal from in there. Rushing in, I saw that Seth had already removed one of the pans from the lower cabinet. Despite him struggling to lift it up fully, I was even surprised he could do something like that in the first place. “Seth… just put down the pan and come back in the living room so we can calm down, okay?” I tried to keep my patience and calm, but Seth was having it. Giggling, he dropped the pan, sending a loud bang throughout the house, and then took off again. At first, I honestly thought he was just going to give me a hug, so when he ran towards me, I only braced for an impact. Instead, he breezed right around my legs. When I realized what he was going to do, I was too late. “Seth! Stop running!” But he just kept going. Chasing him back to the living room, he stopped and briefly tried to get Harry and Timmy to join him. They moved a few inches but snapped back to quietly playing with their toys once they saw me. Despite my previous lapses, my more recent successes through my own will and Penelope’s help had pushed me back into shape. Still though, Seth didn’t budge. “Seth…” I tried to remain calm, but I could feel my stupid wavering and sensitive emotions start to bubble back up. I had been working on breathing techniques with Penelope just in case they flared up again, but Seth was pushing my buttons as he started jumping up and down on the couch. “Seth. Get off the couch. Now.” Seth kept jumping and Harry and Timmy looked frightened as they saw him defy me yet again. I didn’t rule with an iron fist or keep a spanking paddle on display to maintain discipline, but they knew I had the authority on extra TV time, more naps, or loss weekend activities or worse, loss of desert. “Seff! Geh’ down!” Harry tried warning him. Timmy, usually the one I could count on being the problematic one, just clutched his own stuffy in the corner of the couch. I think he was actually stabilizing more lately, but at this point, that might have just been wishful thinking so that I didn’t have two swingers with wild attitudes. “No! I’m gonna fly!” I could see the wide smile on Seth’s face. I wanted him to be happy… I really did, but he was getting to the point of both defiance against me and danger for himself. It was a no-win situation. “Seth! Get down now!” I’m not sure why. That one instruction might have been enough, but I felt the moment called for one more than I had always seen do the trick. I might have cautioned against using it on someone so fresh, but by then, my emotions were too prickly to turn back. “Or else!” Seth bounced a few more times, but each successive bounce was a little less than previous. Finally, he stopped, and he glared at me. I realized that it might have been a trigger word of his that was previously used in his past to his pain. “What did you say?” I realized that I should have looked at his file more closely to see if Penelope had mentioned that or if this was something completely new that we needed to track. If his previous home had said that and then reacted violently in the ‘what else’ part of it, my saying it now was only going to be a problem. I regretted adding it, but seeing his face, I knew it was too late to turn back. “I just want you to stop bouncing and try and calm down,” I tried to defend myself, but Seth’s face only glowed more with a burning rage inside. “Let’s just both sit down and maybe we ca…” “No!” I could already see the flip happening with Seth from his more rambunctious but sweet toddler mentality back to his gloomy and now angry adult self. One psychologist almost described it as a split personality disorder at one point, and while an over exaggeration, I could definitely see the connection. “I will not!” “Seth, please…” I had realized my previous anger had been building and had seen my mistake, so now I was desperately trying to fix it. “Just…” “No!” Seth was as defiant as ever and started to stomp on the ground once he hopped off the couch. “Boys…” I tried coaxing both Timmy and Harry away from Seth. I knew that this could get nasty, and I didn’t want them to see this. “Go to the kitchen now and wait for Mildred to come back down from changing Ian or for Penelope to come back inside.” Irate, Seth started throwing blocks. The three of us in front of him narrowly dodged it. “Uh…” I could see that Timmy and Harry were both petrified. They had joined under Seth’s leadership, but they just wanted to have fun. Their boundaries were lacking, so they didn’t really have that off switch anymore to tell them not run around the house, but they weren’t bad. “Harry… you take Timmy and go find Penelope.” Seth threw another block, and we narrowly missed it again. “Now!” Both Littles scurried away, and I turned back to Seth. Having knocked over a block tower when they had been running earlier, I horribly realized that Seth had all the ammunition he ever needed. “Seth… please…” “No!” It seemed to be his favorite word at this stage, and I really wondered how much adult Seth I was seeing as opposed to his Little side. Currently, both sides seemed to blend nearly seamlessly with each other. “You can’t make me! I’m an adult and I have a job, and I won’t be dictated to anymore! You can’t punish me!” I definitely knew now that Seth had been likely punished much further beyond the norm in his previous home. My heart cracked a little, and I could see the scared Little buried deep within him. For now, though, I just had to dodge yet another block. “Seth!” I wanted to give him one more chance before I brought in the big and sadly likely needed heavy-handed punishment techniques. “You will put that block down right…” I didn’t get to finish my warning to him. Right as I had called out his name, he bent down and picked up another block. This time, even curling his tongue to his upper lip, he aimed right for me and threw it. The block, wooden and dense, nailed me right in the head. Everything went black. * * * “Ow!” I bolted up from where I was lying down. My head throbbed in the one spot I had been hit. My vision was blurry for a moment but rubbing my eyes after painfully learning not to touch my sore spot, I saw that I was in my bedroom once again. Confusion swirled around me, but shifting my gaze further, I saw a resting Penelope sitting at the foot of my bed. “Wha… what happened?” It tried to fully sit upright in bed as Penelope started to stir awake, likely be awoken from my initial cry of pain. Penelope sighed and leaned forward. Before she could speak though, Mildred burst through the door. “Oh my! Are you okay? Did you fall out of bed? Did you…?” “Mildred!” Penelope barked at the clearly concerned Middle, though still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “She’s fine…” She rubbed her eyes once more and stood up. “Now that you’re in here though… I think it’s high time we all had a little talk.” I didn’t like the sound of that, but I let her continue, still trying to piece everything together. It felt like the last time I had passed out, but I tried desperately to convince myself otherwise. If I had passed out like last time, that meant that my reaction to the shot I was given by the tattooed man actually wasn’t going away. “Miss G…” Mildred started, but Penelope quickly held up her hand to stop her. From that tiny spark behind her eyes, I could tell she had an approach to all this already mapped out. “Miss G,” Penelope started, “what do you think happened today?” “Well, uh…” My hand briefly moved up to my forehead, but I recoiled it at the last second, remembering not to touch where Seth had thrown a block at me. “Seth wasn’t listening to me and then he threw a block at my head and then…” I trailed off and I could see both Mildred and Penelope perk up. “Nothing after?” I shook my head, and my two employees looked at each other with an odd and yet at least definitely concerning look. Penelope then looked back at me. “Then we definitely have a problem, Miss G.” Panic gripped my heart. “And that is?” I screamed in my mind for her not to confirm my deepest fears, but deep down, I knew what she was going to say. I’m not sure how I exactly knew, but there was just something familiar that I knew I should have recognized as the reason to why I knew. Penelope sighed. “Miss G…” She then picked up the shirt I had been wearing yesterday. “You wore this yesterday, and while I have to admit you wore something nicer today, you seemed… uncomfortable in it.” I remembered back to the few times I had fidgeted in it, but I had just assumed it was my detergent. When Penelope held up my shirt from yesterday though, it became clear why today had been so uncomfortable in comparison. “Now, I’m no fashion expert, but a purple t-shirt with a sparkly unicorn on it just doesn’t seem like the fashionable and professional Miss G I know.” She causally glanced over, and I could see the blouse I had been wearing earlier today. For some reason, the skirt was missing. “As I said, today was great, but yesterday wasn’t the first time you wore something like this. I mean, when was the last time you wore your usual professional clothing when you didn’t expressly have to?” “But it was stifling in them,” I tried to defend. “I needed more room to maneuver with the Littles. They are very demanding and Seth…” “Seth just came here today,” Penelope interrupted. I could see a slight quiver of fear in Mildred behind her. “This has been going on for… well, for a while now. And don’t make me look under your bed.” Her voice was so commanding in that one moment that I oddly felt like a tiny child being scolded for keeping snacks under there that I had been warned not to because of ants. My mind tried to think of what was under there and what she wa… I then realized what it was. I hadn’t told anyone about her, but she was there. No one had seen her, I thought, but she was with me every night. Miss Pink, the stuffed bear I had recently ordered online to help me sleep at night was there in all her glory. I quickly started to panic at the evidence that Penelope was presenting me with. I had felt so confident and mature… that I had beaten whatever I had been injected with, but now… everything had been so slow. It wasn’t all at once but looking back now with a directed outcome of it all, I could see a pattern. Skirts and slacks gave way to shorts and jeans. Blouses and button-ups to t-shirts and then ones with sparkles or colorful patterns because they ‘made me happy when I was sad,’ or at least that was what I had told myself. And Miss Pink… I was terrified of my nightmares leading to another massive accident. She helped me and I thought it was for the best, but a large pink stuffed bear? I then realized one further thing. Between their looks, me passing out, my missing skirt, and me now wearing my pajamas once again… I knew something had to have happened between when I blacked out and when I had just woken up a few minutes’ prior. I didn’t want to ask, but I knew I needed to. “The cameras we installed after the assault… I want to see what happened after I got hit on the head.” Mildred looked like she was about to faint. “Oh Miss G. I don’t think you want to see tho…” “No,” Penelope interrupted her once again. “I think she needs to see what happened this time. If she does… maybe it can actually mean something. Maybe it’s just enough for what we… talked about…” She said those last two words much more quietly than I was comfortable with, but still… I was intrigued by everything. At this point, I needed to see that footage. Penelope left for only a moment and came back with the disc that she had just created from our file storage downstairs. She then inserted it into the movie player in the small TV I had in my room. I normally didn’t have one, but when I had gotten sick last year, it felt like a miracle. Penelope then turned around. “Alright, Miss G. I’ll show you this, but just know, we’ve made sure all the Littles have been taken care of through bribes or pink promises. Most didn’t see anything, but… well, you’ll see.” I think I was dreading seeing it more now than ever, but I eagerly watched on as Penelope hit play and synced it up. “Seth! You will put that block down right…” I saw the block smack me right in the head. Instead of passing out though, I clutched my head and dropped to my knees. “Ow! Why’d you do that, you big meanie!” “You told me not to,” he retorted. I then started to see myself try and attempt to hold back my tears. “Oh my… are you crying?” Seth dropped the next block he would have thrown and ran up to me. “Holy shit! You are crying!” He then started laughing maniacally. I knew at that point; the adult version of Seth was definitely more in charge. “Stop it! Stop it!” I blubbered back. “Iss not nice to point an’ laugh at other people…” I was clearly trying to defend myself and teach a lesson, but something in me seemed different… younger ever, at least mentally wise. “Baby! Baby! Baby!” Seth taunted. “You’re just a little baby like all the others!” He then scoffed. “Just how in the world did you end up the big bad boss around here. I bet you even suck your thumb!” “Do not!” I countered. “Oh ho! You do, don’t you!” I tried shaking my head, but Seth was too far into his own delight to pay any attention to my protests. His taunts then continued further, and I could see as each one struck another nerve within me. Pretty soon, I had run away to the back and started banging on the door. “Let me out! Let me out!” Seth continued to torment me with his insults. Now, they didn’t mean much, but I could tell each was revealing a fear this other version of me had all along. ‘poopypants’ seemed most devastating. “Miss G?” I then saw Mildred enter the frame. “Miss G!” She quickly set Ian down on the stairs and ran over to me and blocked the still taunting Seth. “Back off mister! We do not make fun of others here!” “Yeah?” Mildred nodded, not even seemingly phased by the fact that I had basically collapsed into the fetal position and was silently crying behind her. “What are you going to do about it? You’re just a Middle. You’re barely bigger than me! Why should I listen to you?” “And what about me?” I was so distracted by their interaction that I didn’t even see Penelope walk up behind Mildred and I on the screen. “Hmmm? How about it, Seth? Are you willing to try and defy me as well?” “But! But!” I could see as the fear finally eclipsed back into Seth’s eyes. It had taken three staff members to quell his outburst and rebellion, but Penelope had finally done it. “Not buts!” she barked down to him. “You go upstairs to your room right this minute and sit on your bed!” Seth yelped and sped off. “I find you an inch away from your bed and so help me!” Seth quickly disappeared from view and Penelope then looked back to Mildred and I. “Okay. You deal with the Littles down here. I’ll help her out and once everyone is down for their nap soon, we can talk more then.” Both of them then looked back at me, and to my horror, I had clearly wet myself. Penelope then paused the video right on that moment. “I… I…” I really wasn’t sure what to say. To my chagrin, everything had been caught on camera and I couldn’t deny what I was seeing now. Maybe if the camera was just a listening device instead, I could have gotten out of this whole thing unscathed, but especially with the video paused where it was, my wet skirt on display for all to see, I knew completely now that my cold turkey of the Enilikas pills wasn’t working. Penelope sighed and came over to me and stroked my back a little. “It’s okay, Miss G. As I said, all the Littles have been taken care of and Seth is very sorry. His mood and mental swings cloud his memory a bit as well it seems, not sure why, but I’ve already made an appointment at the doctor’s tomorrow. I think we can get him on those Littles stabilizer meds and help him out until he mellows out a bit more around here.” I nodded, grateful for that much at least, but I then saw Mildred just standing there with a supportive look on her face, which was good, but I swear that I also saw one of fear as well. Penelope saw my own concerned expression regarding Mildred. “It’s okay. I told her everything…” “Actually, I already kind of suspected something was going on,” she admitted. My heart sank a bit hearing that. I thought Penelope and I were good secret keepers, but if even Mildred knew, I wondered just howe many others did as well now. “There were just too many tiny things, and I wasn’t sure how they added up exactly, but I knew it was something.” I think she then saw my look of concern as well. “But I swear I won’t tell anyone. I swear so much, Miss G. I promise from the bottom of my heart… your secret is safe with me.” “Thank you, Mildred.” I wasn’t thrilled with another staff member being told about my condition, but I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to keep it secret for much longer at this rate. If someone else really had to know, I was glad at least that it was Mildred. “I appreciate that. I just…” Penelope rubbed my back again and as much as I felt like I was the subordinate in the room, rather than the boss, her touch did feel nice. Right then though, as I rocked slightly into her back rubs, I heard a much more distinctive crinkling sound. Seeing myself on the screen again with my wet skirt, I knew what I was wearing. I was in a diaper again… “So… we need to talk about what’s next…” I could see the look of concern now on Penelope’s face and I think my own internal fear spiked in a second. “No! No!” I yelled. “I won’t go to one of those facilities where they put the Big freaks. That PSA told me about it. They’re going to take me away and stick things in my brain and stick me in a cell to be forgotten about. No! I won’t be taken away!” I could already feel the hot tears slash on my cheeks. “Woah, woah, woah,” Penelope said, clearly not expecting such a big reaction from me. She quickly made sure to rub my back and soothe my fears. “It’s okay, Miss G. I promise. I only meant that… well, we need to do something else… something more to help this problem of yours.” “Yeah, Miss G,” Mildred added. “We would never allow you to be taken away from this place. Just because that tattooed guy messed with you big time, doesn’t mean that you need to be punished for it. We just want to help.” I always forgot how loyal and kind Mildred was. In a house and society full of Bigs and Littles, Middles, including Mildred, often got overlooked. Some suspected they only made up 10% of the population these days, but there wasn’t anything official like that for them. In fact, most of the time, due to their maturity as opposed to Littles, their statistics usually just got lumped into the Bigs. “Yes, but how?” I wiped the tears off onto my sleeve and wondered what they had in mind. For whatever reason, the fog felt like it was creeping slowly back across my mind. It scared me to death, but I just tried to listen into what my two employees had to say. “Well,” Penelope began, “to me at least, I think there’s a very obvious solution…” Again, through my fog, I just couldn’t seem to figure anything more out than what was already shown right in front of me. “I think you should go back to see Dr. Benson…” My eyes widened in shock. “No! Anything but that! They’re going to make me…” I shrank back at how ridiculous my own argument sounded. “Wear diapers?” Mildred finally asked, clearly bypassing the awkwardness that Penelope seemed to exhibit. To my chagrin, I nodded. “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but…” “I know!” As if to confirm the notion, I shifted awkwardly and let out another loud crinkle and even a small smell of baby powder. “Adulescens just feels… different.” Penelope sighed and patted my back. “I know, Miss G, but… I don’t think we have very many alternatives. Do you?” She paused briefly, but I really couldn’t realistically think of any on my own. “I mean if you do, please tell me. We can that route, but I just can’t think of any…” Sadly, I didn’t either after another strain to think of one, but ultimately, I shook my head. Penelope sighed again and nodded. “That’s okay. I know you don’t want to, but Dr. Benson has something that works and just think about the safehouse. If you don’t get this fixed, you passing out could happen again when we’re being inspected. They’ll shut this place down and everyone will have a problem. Then where would everyone be, including yourself?” It had been the stuff of my nightmares recently and one of the main reasons I had bought Miss Pink. I could always see it now that if they shut this place down, I likely would end up one of two ways. A freak at some lab figuring out my problems or destitute on the street and desperate for any offer of warmth and care. If I didn’t die then, I knew that if I didn’t run into a miracle face first, I would be doomed forever. So, I shook my head. “Yeah… that’s what I thought. It’s just not good for anyone.” She then gave me one big side squeeze and stood up. “I don’t know what will happen with Dr. Benson, but whatever does and for whatever it’s worth, I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you.” “And so will I!” Mildred quickly added, her smile quickly becoming infectious. “Right… so will Midred.” Penelope then turned back to her and twitched her head out the door. Mildred got her signal and quickly exited the room. Penelope then turned back to me. “I’ll make sure we go tomorrow night. You might consider taking off tomorrow, but I’ll just leave that up to you. For now, though, just get some rest and if you want, we can talk more in the morning.” Smiling and saying goodnight to each other, Penelope then closed my door. Alone now, everything started to collapse on top of me. Everything that had happened today from Seth to the revelation of everything with Penelope and Mildred. It felt like just too much and the TV screen being paused on my very wet skirt didn’t help either. I started to sniffle, and I could feel the tears fall down my face once again. I was getting tired of crying, but I knew of one quick solution to help me. So, I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV with the image of me wetting myself. Already feeling better from that alone, I then reached under my bed and grabbed Miss Pink. As embarrassing as she was, I made sure I got the soother version, and turning her on, I could already feel her effects begin to calm my mind. Still sad and fearful about the future, I laid down and shut my eyes. I didn’t feel completely better, but I finally let my mind drift off. Tomorrow’s problems could wait.

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lateness of this posting tonight. With the good news and possible delays that I had noted before, I wanted to do a test and see if I could still write and edit in the way I had been since I started here. I think my answer is a ‘yes,’ but also a ‘try to write other times as well so it’s not so late’ as well. Regardless, all that is for a later date to discuss. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 5: Old Reminders I had never smoked cigarettes in my life, but my mom did, and I saw her go through a withdrawal from them when she quit when I was in high school. It seemed both painful and irritating all the time, and it was one of the reasons I had never even been tempted to pick one up in my whole life. Despite having the medication now to curb most of the withdrawal symptoms or completely cure any nicotine addiction, I didn’t want to take that risk and go through the same ordeal. Now, though, despite what I had tried my whole adult life to avoid, I was going through my own withdrawal. At first, it just felt like a little fog creeping into my life. Here and there things seemed blurry, out of focus, or like I was looking at the world through a thick fog, both mentally and physically. I felt slow and bloated in everything I did, and if it wasn’t for Penelope, I’m definitely sure the safehouse would have fallen into disrepair or something bad would have happened on my watch otherwise. Trusting Penelope more and more completely lately, I left her downstairs to take over whenever I felt another fog coming on. I slowly began to taper off the medication after Dr. Benson had cut me off, and it was terrible and full of lapses in my temporary regression, but I also knew there was a time coming soon when I would either be completely out of the medication or go back to Adulescens. It wasn’t that it was a terrible place or that I had a bad time there… or at least would have if I had stayed. Now, I can admit that there was even an appeal to my adult sensibilities as well. I would never admit something like that out loud, but Adulescens felt very much like a tiny break from being an adult in our fast-paced world. On the surface, I don’t think I knew an adult alive who could claim that was a bad thing. The diapers, bottles, onesies, and just the whole place though once you saw inside though… that was something else entirely. So, vowing not to go back, I eased up on my dosage of the Enilikas pills. Tapering off, I hit a few roadblocks on my journey to get free of the medication while also not mentally regressing like I used to. Unfortunately, during that journey, there were several times where I feared everything, even in my own room. I had to order a nightlight online and I hugged my pillows constantly in lieu of a stuffed animal, something I had been craving for at least two solid weeks now. From all that and more, I felt shame like nothing else in my life. Plus, I knew that at some point, someone would question why the upstairs potty was flushing so much recently and I fully dreaded when that day would come. Still, after a week, to my relief, the fogginess seemed to fade. My heart leapt within my chest, and ashamedly, like some toddler celebrating their victory after finally making it to the potty, I ran to Penelope and told her the good news. “I did it! I did it! I made it a week and I can already feel the fogginess go away! I’m cured! I’m cured!” I didn’t care how close my joy seemed to toddler-like in that moment. Penelope only grinned widely and gave me a massive hug. When we separated after a moment, though, I could sense a hesitation in her as well that I found extremely unsettling. “That’s great, Miss G. That must feel so good…” I knew Penelope well enough by now that seeing her hesitation, I knew she had something else on her mind. Morbidly curious, I probed further. “But what?” Penelope looked at me questioningly for a moment. “Don’t look at me like that. This is good news for me, Pen, but I’ve seen the face you’re making right now… there’s something else on your mind other than ‘congratulations,’ so spill.” “Right, right… you’re right.” Penelope sighed but nodded her head. “Look, I just… don’t be so quick to celebrate all this right now, okay? It’s just been a week and that drug you got injected with is really tricky.” She paused briefly and seemed pained to have this conversation. No doubt, my face and happiness probably instantly showed that she had ‘popped my little balloon of happiness’ already. “Just take it easy for me, okay?” I could see her inner joy for me still, but I also plainly saw her concern and caring for my well-being as well. She wasn’t being cruel to me on purpose by a longshot and I think we both knew that, so everything was still okay between the two of us. “Just another week of this, okay Miss G?” Having been cooped up in the safehouse for the past week, only feet away from a bathroom on any level or carrying around a tiny stuffed animal that I had found in a fast-food meal the other week, I wanted to leave. Still though, I trusted Penelope completely by now and her advice was well-warranted if not a little frustrating. “Fine… one week.” So, one week later, I started to leave the safehouse with my gratefully still-clear mind. I felt the fear that I had been for a while, but everything else felt pretty much normal. I even went shopping at the mall and in some of the shops downtown like I always used to do. It was great, and the following Friday, I even bumped into Molly, Willy’s new caregiver, who invited me over to lunch the next day at her house. Her and her husband, Kent, were both Bigs, cops, and the new caregivers of Willy, the same Little whom the tattooed man had been looking for. Since that night though, most of the crew had been killed, or at least arrested, So I knew that Willy was safe and happy now. Of course, one or two members of the crime organization still were awaiting trial due to ‘extraneous circumstances,’ but I mostly just put them out of my mind completely. “Please just be careful,” Penelope warned me the next day for what felt like the sixteenth time since I had woken up this morning already. She had a good heart, and I knew she was coming from a place of caring, but I was starting to feel stifled from all that care. “I’ll be okay, Penelope,” I said confidently. “It’s just lunch.” Penelope sighed. “Yes, maybe it’s just lunch, but don’t forget… you really haven’t seen Willy since that night. I just don’t want to see him be an emotional trigger or…” “No, no,” I told my friend abruptly while holding my hand up for emphasis. “I’m not some wilting flower that will faint at the first sign of Willy Galpin… Donovan?” I wasn’t sure if he had taken Molly and Kent’s last name yet. “Regardless! I’ll be fine, okay?” Penelope sighed, but probably seeing she wasn’t going to change my mind, waved me off. Driving over, I slightly cursed Penelope for her concerns. I knew they were genuine, and she was just worried about me, but inadvertently, she had also placed a little bug in my ear of doubt. Doubt that this was a terrible idea and that everything was going to go wrong as soon as I saw Willy again. Before I could change my mind though and go back home, the short drive over was already over, and I knew I either needed to look like a fool and speed away or I should just get out of my car. Sighing deeply, I elected to simply get out. “Miss G!” Molly was already outside her front door and greeting me with a warm smile and a giant hug. After Willy’s original adoptive Big parents had died or were incarcerated now and had given up their legal rights to him, Molly had sought me out to get my advice on Willy. Apparently, he talked about me a lot in the early days as someone he admired or was at least concerned about. “I’m so glad you’ve made it! Willy’s been so excited since I told him you were coming over for lunch today. He even made sure to clean up his toys all around the house. I swear he takes orders from his elephant stuffy. Littles, right?” Oddly, I had noticed the same, but I was just glad that one of us was excited about today. My old lady pad was still situated in my panties and its slight rustle as I stepped onto their front porch was a reminder of what had happened the last time we had seen each other. I wanted to be happy, but reminders like that made that task more difficult than I would have liked. “Me too… can’t wait to see him again.” I tried to mask my concern as well as I could, but I could see that Molly likely saw something of it in me regardless. She was a cop, and her instincts had always struck me as some of the sharpest I had ever seen. Still, she also had the decency to leave my worries alone and only gestured for me to come inside. After two promotions for both her and Kent, they had upgraded their living space to a nice and quaint house just on the edge of town where the main area of suburban life started. Their commutes were longer now, but neither minded their new lives from what Molly had told me yesterday, and Willy absolutely adored the small playground only about two blocks away from here. “I love what you’ve done with the place!” I said cheerfully, remembering my manners of entering someone’s house for the first time. It was still a little bare in places, the consequences of upgrading from a townhome to a house, but it was still airy and pleasant. Further, as opposed to my far more cluttered house, only a few baby toys littered the floor. Still, I knew that a Little was living here after hearing the various tweets, slaps, and laughter from a cartoon show playing in the other room. “Thank you!” Molly quickly replied back. “Kent and I have been working every second we can when we’re not at work or looking after Willy on sprucing this place up.” She looked around briefly and even slid her hand down some of the clearly new molding around the door frame. “Still have some work to be done, but we’re hoping to have everything completed before Willy’s next birthday. Gives us a while still…” “Oh, I’m sure it will be even more lovely then.” The cartoon show blared from the other room and briefly distracted me. “I’m sure Willy will just love having his party here.” “Yeah,” Molly then flashed a smile on her face. “But you know… now that I think about it, how about you come as well? With as much as Willy wants to see you today… it just seems right.” I had only known Willy for a few days before he was taken, but I guess I had made some sort of impression on him. If I had to take a guess, removing my own ego from the picture entirely, I knew that most Littles clung onto me so quickly in the past because of the stark contrast to the places where they had just come from. Willy, being the adoptive Little of two distant Bigs and then narrowly escaping a massive shootout, was only bound to like me and the safehouse more. “I’d love to come. Just send me a card or something in the mail when it gets closer,” I requested. “I love collecting all the little invitations of Littles who stay with me and then find new families. Gives everyone a real sense of accomplishment in the safehouse, but also… whenever the new Littles see all the cards in my back office, I think it gives them a tiny ray of hope, you know?” “Definitely.” I could see a sad look cross Molly’s face, and I wondered if it was more from knowing where Willy had come from and the further complications even after the assault on the safehouse that night, or if it was simply from her own experience as a cop. Indianapolis wasn’t necessarily crime-infested, but with Littles… I’m sure she had seen her fair share of bad moments with them as well. Once again, the cartoon show’s noises from another part of the house cackled over to us. I briefly looked in that direction and I think Molly saw. “Hey… you wanna go see him now?” Her question was so simple, but I couldn’t help but hear a little playful tone as well. Her announcing that course of action almost felt like she was asking if I wanted to go see my grand prize or the either wonder of the world. It was curious, but I knew I only had one answer, despite my reservations before. “Absolutely. You lead the way.” Molly nodded and led me down a hallway and into a semi-large room. As opposed to the rest of the barer and emptier house, that was at least mostly devoid of signs that a Little stayed there, this room was anything but. Colorful pictures and posters decorated the walls up top and below each was either a storage bin filled to the brim with crafting supplies or a small bookshelf full of thick and simplistic books, perfect for someone like Willy. Scanning the room further, a myriad of toys was strewn everywhere, with only a few grouped together off to one side. I wondered if that was what Willy had considered cleaning up, or if he had since played in and disturbed the previous organization he had done in the room. Being a mentally regressed Little, I knew full-well it could have been either scenario. Still, pushing beyond all that, I finally spotted Willy. Today, he was dressed in a pair of black overalls with orange striping along the seams and a long-sleeved yellow shirt adorned with cartoon lions. Of course, he was thickly diapered and next to him was his elephant, Tusk. To cap the scene off, in front of him was a large TV showcasing the cartoon I had been hearing since I had arrived. I personally felt he was sitting way too close, but considering Adventure Sam was on today and they were talking about the ancient islands of Catalon, I really couldn’t blame him. “Willy?” Molly gently asked over the noise from the gesturing figure of the titular Adventure Sam on the TV. “Willy? You have a special guest to see you today…” I saw a tiny shift, and I knew it was near impossible for a Little to tear their attention away from a TV screen once it started, but Willy finally did and soon spotted me. Like a light switch turning on, his passive look immediately vanished and was replaced by pure joy. “Miss G!” Before I even had a chance to say hello back, Willy bounded over to me, Tusk tightly gripped under his arm, and ran headfirst into my legs. In seconds, I was bound from the thighs down and even wobbled a bit as I threatened to tumble to the floor. “Woah there, buddy! Easy now.” I patted his back and rubbed his shoulders in a way to see if I could pry him loose before I fell over. I wasn’t successful though and he remained adhered to my lower half. “It’s… great to see you too.” I tried to chuckle to mask my sense of urgency over my wobbling form, but I looked over at Molly and gave her a wide-eyed glance to push the subject. “Oh Willy… You’ve gotten Miss G all tangled up and stuck. Come here, baby.” She tried to pass off the urgency as well in her tone but still immediately bent down and pried Willy off my legs. I quickly snapped them apart in case Willy wanted to stick to me again. At least one leg could be free to move about the place now. “Buh I wan’ Miss G! She’s hewe fo’ me!” Willy snapped his attention back to me. “Wigh’ Miss G?” I wasn’t even fully sure myself why I was over here, really just accepting an invitation to come over when Molly offered it to me yesterday, but I could already see Willy’s wide and hopeful eyes. His mental regression was usually pretty strong, and he was very much at the stage where the world seemed to revolve around him. So, not wanting to cause a fuss with my own unknowns, I nodded and smiled back. “Why of course! I had to make sure my little buddy was doing okay.” Willy beamed right back at me, wrenched his way away from Molly, and then stared back up at her. “See? Tol’ ya’!” Molly only smiled back and nodded. She probably knew that I wasn’t here solely for Willy but giving him this victory was easy enough. Willy then popped back over to me and grabbed my hand. “Come on, Miss G! I wanna show ya’ my stuff!” Knowing I really didn’t have much of a choice, I simply followed Willy as he dragged me over to see the rest of his new playroom. Curiously, as soon as I saw all his toys and stuffys up close, I actually wanted to see every item he ever owned like I was now somehow looking over a horde of precious jewels. His explanations about everything were complicated and longer than they needed to be, but even as he stumbled over all his words and had troubled making out most of them, I found myself glued to what he was telling me. Even when I had to help him out with several of the words, I found myself nearly transfixed on everything from his collection. In some weird way, I almost felt envious that he had someone in his life to buy him all these wonderful gifts… At that point, I kind of lost track of time. Adventure Sam, now muted by Molly, had even concluded and moved on through another show called Little Wonderland. Part reality show and part fantasy afterward, it wasn’t exactly the most creative plot, but I knew several of my Littles liked. Still, my focus was on Willy’s new toys… at least until Molly spoke up. “Willy, baby?” Willy stopped his presentation about his new Equity Alliance superhero toys and we both looked back at Molly. “Can I borrow Miss G just for a moment?” I could already sense the hesitation in departing with me for even a second. “I promise that she’ll be right back, sweetie.” I knew Willy probably didn’t have a choice in the matter ultimately, but Molly still used her own instincts and at least gave him the illusion of control. It was a small technique nearly every Big used to make things go smoother with their Littles, including me. It took longer, but a Little would be much more compliant if they made the decision themselves. “Okay… Miss G can go wiff you…” Smiling at his reluctance, I got up off the floor and walked back over to Molly while Willy briefly played with two of his Equity Alliance toys, the Blur and Mantis. “He seems really happy here, Molly. You should be proud of that… Not every Little could bounce back so quickly after what he went through… particularly after the whole kidnapping business…” Molly sighed and nodded. “He’s a real trooper, but he’s changed a lot since we first got him. So many night terrors at first, Kent and I had to double his diapers every night from the number of times he was simply soaking through all the layers already…” “That’s awful…” Strangely, I felt a slightly stronger bond with Willy from that tiny fact alone. I didn’t feel as alone anymore in my previous nightmares and unfortunate… nightly accidents. Beneath my concern though, now, we were both healing in our own ways, and I felt a little pride over that fact. Molly shrugged. “It was, but that seems mostly over by now. We got him some tapes to listen to at night and they really seem to help. Lots of changes and fast…” Concerningly, Molly then looked me over as if she was looking for something specific. “Speaking of changes… you seem… uh, different…” “Oh?” I felt a tiny flicker of fear within me that Molly somehow knew of everything I had gone through since the assault. She was a cop, but I felt like she didn’t have access to the files that showed my problems since then, or the Enilikas, or even Adulescens… “Uh, what do you mean by that?” “Oh, nothing really,” Molly replied casually, my stress quickly lowering. “You just seem… different. I don’t know…” Molly then shook her head. “Anyways, I have to go make a quick phone call. You mind watching Willy for just a sec?” I didn’t see any problem with that, having already done it before when he had stayed with me. Things were a bit different since then, but I didn’t think in this way though. “Sure. Take your time. I think Willy’s still got another shelf to show me of his new stuff.” Molly only smiled and left the room while I returned back to Willy. “Okay, champ. Show me what else you got.” Needing no further prompting, Willy started to explain about his new hand-me-down stuffys. He still had Tusk, but it quickly become clear to me that he wanted another… brand new and just for himself. I made a quick mental note to tell Molly about that later… “You wanna jus’ watch some Pocket Pals?” Willy finally asked me, after showing me the last of his collection. “Iss weally good!” “Sure. Why not?” I had already accomplished my one supposed goal of ensuring that Willy was okay, so now, I just needed to entertain him until Molly got back. In fact, as I sat down on the floor with Willy right next to me, I noticed that his speech had already improved under a more vigilant caretaker. I had no doubt now that Willy had been suffering from neglect originally but satisfied that he was now safe and even better off than he had ever been before as a Little, I just sat back and watched Pocket Pals. The concept was pretty simple. Aimed at mentally younger regressed Littles, the show sought to educate them on the various animals that were of the marsupial family, hence the names. It was a simple cartoon with leads like Momma Kangaroo, Mr. O. Possum, and now a new addition, the kindergartener, Kevin Koala. It was all pretty simple, yet I couldn’t look away. I even thought I heard strange voices, and normally I would have tried to find them, but they just made me more relaxed. I felt at peace… more than I had in a long time, and I guess not so surprisingly, I never wanted it to end. “Looks like a pretty great show, huh?” I nearly jumped to the ceiling as I then just noticed Molly come up from behind us. “Oh, geez, Molly. You startled me a bit there!” I could my feel heart racing erratically, but seeing there was no threat, had already started to calm down. “Sorry about that, Tiff…” I wasn’t the biggest fan of being called that, but for Molly, I allowed it, especially now that I had been caught spacing out. “Found a friend though, huh?” At first, I thought Molly was simply referring to Willy, but I noticed her gaze was directed elsewhere. It didn’t take me long to realize she was instead looking on my other side. Looking as well, I saw it… a giant blue bird stuffy. My eyes widened after noticing it by my side… no, not just by my side… the thing was practically nestled right into me… almost as if I had been only recently hugging the thing tightly as I watched the show. Panicking internally, I knew I had to try and wave my concerns off in front of Molly. If she knew… she was connected to the police. If they knew, the bad men would try and get me and… I shook my head for a moment, and just cleared my throat to give me another second to think. My mind clearing after a moment, I nodded. “Oh, yeah… figured we’d match today. Tusk seemed pretty lonely all by himself down here…” I fibbed and I wasn’t sure if Molly bought my line, but she just smiled and stood back up. “Well, I’m glad you two had fun. Care to join me in the dining room now, Tiff?” Her question was simple, but I still felt dazed. I couldn’t say no, no matter how much I wanted to know if Kevin Koala was able to learn the last of his ABCs in school. “Yeah. Just…” I tried to think of any excuse, but with the fog around my mind slightly clearing up now, I knew the perfect excuse. “Leg fell asleep a bit. Just need to shake it for a second…” Molly only nodded and soon disappeared out of the room. Looking down, I questioned everything about the blue bird stuffed animal. It was so soft and cuddly, even my fingers briefly stroking its back seemed near electrified over the thought of seeking comfort in its mock plush feathers. It felt so wrong to want something like that, I was a Big after all, but there was just something so enticing… so visceral about my desire for it, that I just couldn’t help myself. “Iss okay…” I then heard softly from my right side. Glancing over, just to make sure I wasn’t completely losing my mind, I saw Willy staring back at me with his usual wide and innocent eyes. “Uh, come again, Willy?” “Iss okay, Miss G,” he repeated, clearing up the matter that I was in fact not hearing things. “You no need to be em… emba… emmm… bar…” His eyes then looked at me pleadingly. “Embarrassed?” Willy quickly nodded and I felt my usual satisfaction in helping another Little out with the bigger words they would struggle to say now. Regressed Littles might lose their words entirely, or just be unable to say them and then stop saying them altogether. Willy was more of the second kind of Little. “Dat’s da wowd!” He seemed so joyful, but his attention darted briefly to Tusk and then back to me. “You wooked wike you wan’ed him. I jus’ asked you an’ you nodded…” “I did?” I had no memory of that at all. I wasn’t sure if I was more concerned with that or the notion that I wanted him in the first place. Willy quickly nodded back. “Uh huh, buh’ don’ wowwy… you scwet iss safe wiff me.” I nodded, fully appreciating his promise to me, but as I then left his playroom to rejoin Molly in the dining room, I couldn’t help but be concerned. I hadn’t had some emotional response to seeing Willy, but something had definitely happened in that room just now… something that very much did not seem adult. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to push those thoughts of concern out of my head, they persisted all the way through lunchtime with Molly. Even when she fed Willy, changed him, and then put him down for his afternoon nap, I couldn’t shake what had happened earlier. So, once Willy was down, I bid my goodbyes and got out of there as soon as I could. Brushing it off as just my mounting stress though, I blew right past Penelope on my way in. She was too quick for me though. “So, how did it go?” I heard her literal question at its base, but I also heard genuine concern in her voice as well. “It was…” I was momentarily distracted by Jonathan yelling at the TV screen when a rerun of Adventure Sam showed him going over the Atorian Falls in central Alkebulan. Other continents in our world always fascinated everybody. “Uh, it was… fine,” I added quickly. I didn’t want to elaborate further. I knew that most likely, that could only lead to more problems down the road. “I see…” I wasn’t sure if Penelope was convinced or not, but I soon ran up the stairs and to my room. On my way home, I realized my old lady pad was slightly damp, so I made sure to change it. After, I just refocused on my Littles and put the whole thing out of my head. That night though, I stood in front of my bathroom sink. I only had a handful of Enilikas pills left. I knew if I wasn’t careful, my tapering off them wouldn’t amount to anything and I could have a genuine problem on my hands. Before I could decide whether I should take one tonight or not though, I heard a knock on my door. I then hid the pills just in case. “Come in!” I quickly ran to meet whoever was at my door. My ‘open door policy’ meant that anyone could see, which was a problem somedays, but today was just Penelope. “Oh, it’s just you.” I quickly felt a sense of relief wash over me. “I thought you were one of the other staff members or a Little needing something.” “Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “Just me, but I did want to talk to you about something though…” “Oh?” I felt like I already knew where this was headed, and I dreaded it, but I felt I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. Instead, I just tried to calm my nerves down. It really didn’t work… “Yeah… about today.” I think I would have jumped out of the window to avoid this conversation if I could. “What happened with Molly and Willy?” She paused for a moment, almost long enough for me to say something, but she quickly spoke back up. “And don’t say it was ‘just nothing.’ From the way you ran up here and basically actively dodged my question, I know there was something.” I almost considered lying to Penelope on the spot, but I didn’t for two reasons. First, as I had likely seen with Molly earlier, I wasn’t a particularly good liar. I could do it, but the results were mixed to say the least. Second, though, I felt a trust with Penelope up here in the privacy of my own room that I hadn’t felt like when I was downstairs and being questioned by her earlier. “Something happened…” Penelope sighed and came over to the side of my bed, sat down, and then patted the spot next to her. “Well then, just take a breath and come here and sit down. I want to hear about it all.” I could only nod and go over and sit down next to her as she suggested. Strangely, I felt powerless to say no to her. “I… I blanked out. Blacked out…” Penelope only nodded and gave me a slight squeeze from the side. “Go on…” she encouraged me, letting go of me briefly. “I blanked out and…” I wondered if I really should tell her everything, but I knew she would likely keep pressing me until she was completely satisfied that I had said everything. Knowing her and my own constitution, or lack thereof recently, I doubted she would stop until I had told her everything anyways. “I came to, and I was watching Pocket Pals still with Willy.” I sighed and knew I had left out one piece of information. “The problem was though that Molly came in and startled me, but she also noticed… a blue stuffed bird by my side.” Penelepo’s eyebrow closest to me raised slightly. “Willy said that I had been eyeing it while we were watching Pocket Pals and then just gave it to me… but I don’t remember that. At all…” I could see the mounting concern in Penelope’s face. Instead of yelling or freaking out like I thought she might though, she only leaned into me again and gave me another hug. This time, it was for much longer and I felt completely safe in her embrace. This time, I wasn’t embarrassed by such a clear sign of affection from her to me. In truth, I felt the same. “I understand that. I really do, Miss G. That must have been really scary to not even remembering how that happened.” I quickly nodded my head. “But that’s okay…” “It is?” To be frank, I think that was the absolute last thing I had expected to hear coming from her. She was supportive of me usually, but she always held so much emotion whenever I told her of a new problem. Especially considering that I had been doing so well since I had started tapering off the Enilikas. To me at least, this felt like a massive step backward. Still, Penelope nodded. “It is.” She then paused though and gave me another squeeze in her hug. “I think you should go back to Dr. Benson though. He’ll want to hear about this new development.” And there it was. I just knew something had to be coming down the pipeline for me with this. It was maddening how well I knew how these interactions would go lately, but still, I was at least grateful, her suggestion was just that. No yelling or even a single raised voice. It was just a calm suggestion. Still, I knew my only answer back to her or anyone else who would ask by now. “I’m not going back, Penelope.” I tried to remain as resolute as ever. I’m not sure how well that came off being hugged so tightly by my employee, having just changed my pad, and having reawakened earlier today with a stuffy right by my side, but I knew I just had to keep saying ‘no’ to going back to him. Right then, though, Penelope let go of me. I instantly felt her loss of contact and longed for her to hug me again. I even wanted to tell her that directly, but I just kept my mouth shut as she then got off my bed and then turned around to face me with a weary expression. “And that’s your right, Miss G, but I’m just trying to look out for you. Nothing more at this point.” She paused for a moment, and I could tell that her eyes momentarily glanced at the package of old lady pads that I kept by my bed for those ‘just in case’ times. When I first started tapering off from Enilikas, there had been more than a few times where I was glad that I had moved the package closer to my bed. “I just want you to be safe and happy,” she continued. “Being unhappy doesn’t do you or anyone else for that matter any good around here. Besides, no one else really knows and you know me already… or at least I hope you do. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t judge you if you want back and just got a little hel…” “It’s still a no, Penelope,” I interjected. I then stood up and faced her more directly to try and make sure my point came across. “I’m not going back and that’s final.” I didn’t want to be so dismissive of her, but after today, I can be mature enough in this instance to admit that I wavered a bit on going back, but I didn’t want to admit that out loud. If I said that out loud, I knew my resolve would crumble. So, for the time being, I just kept shaking my head and telling Penelope ‘no.’ “I hope you can respect my decision, Pen…” She seemed like she did, but right then, my clock chimed that it was already 10 PM. Any later and I knew I would have a problem tomorrow. Penelope likely could see my glance at the clock though. “Well, I won’t keep you up then, boss. I just want to help.” She gave me a half smile and turned around. Right before I closed the door though, she turned back around. “I won’t ever judge you, and if you ever change your mind, just let me know, okay?” I only nodded and then shut my door. I hoped it would never come to that, but Penelope had done her job as my friend tonight. She didn’t push me, but she still told me the hard truth that I likely needed to hear. I knew I still wasn’t going to see Dr. Benson, but Penelope had at least given me an out tonight that I hadn’t had before. Still, it was late, so I then cuddled up in my bed and turned on my bedside reading light so I could read a book that I just plucked out from a bookstore the other day. Smiling as I viewed the colorfully illustrated pages and smelling the scent of new paper, I smiled and began reading. Two paragraphs in, I questioned why I had ever stopped reading this type of fantasy illustrated story in the first place. Shrugging, I just turned back to my new book, and I knew a wide smile was already forming on my face from my rediscovered love of these books that I used to read when I was younger.

Hey everyone! I will likely be too busy this weekend to post another chapter, so the next chapter will likely not post until Monday at the earliest by now. Also, I just got some great news, and if it all clicks into place, some of the negatives from last month might soon be erased or at least mostly fixed. Looking ahead though, with this news, my time might be more limited on certain days unexpectedly. I’m hoping to work around this and write a lot on my upcoming trip away and break, but as a warning, future chapters may come out a lot slower. Right now, I’m just not sure, but I figured you all at least had that right to know. Next, as a reminder, I have posted a link to an informal poll back in chapter two, along with my next story options. It is completely anonymous and is limited to one vote per IP address I believe. Right now, it’s really just a test of a new voting system, but so far, I think it’s working out well. As usual, I will be posting the results and announcement of my next story during the final chapter of this one. Until then, though, feel free to vote or message me personally if you feel more comfortable doing that. Another poll might be utilized during the last chapter to get your all’s thoughts on this new voting system, but I will let you know at that point about it. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 4: A Unique Solution to a Rare Problem Sitting in the car once again going back to the doctor the next morning, everything felt very much the same, but very different now as well. The first time I had gone, I had left my appointment in a huff. The second time I had been given Enilikas and a sense of hope I hadn’t had since the tattooed man had injected me. Now, though, I was coming back because I had taken too much of the medication, blacked out, and wet my pants and babbled and cried like a baby. Even now, I didn’t want to risk anything, and I wore an extra-sized, in thickness level, disposable pad in my underwear that was mostly used for older women Bigs who needed a ‘little extra help’ in their twilight years. Truthfully, Penelope tried to convince me to wear another diaper as I removed the old one that she had put me in overnight yesterday, but feeling the bulk and worried about the full surrendering to the worrisome feelings I had earlier with her just wasn’t appealing. Going to the doctor again was already a big step for me. So, as I exited the vehicle to Dr. Benson’s office building for the third time, I knew I needed to be here like I had discussed with Penelope, but my concern over my condition and equal part embarrassment were also powerful motivators to just leave. Anticipating this though, I had asked for Penelope to actually join me through the whole appointment this time. The nurse at the front desk was a little confused and then even seemed concerned with the request initially, but after showing a strange look after looking over my shoulder at Penelope, she readily approved it. I thought I saw her make a face of judgement or condescension after that, but not wanting to start anything, I just let it go and went to the back room once more. “So, I hear there may have been some problems lately?” Dr. Benson asked casually as he entered the room and then sat down on his stool while I once again sat on top of the protected exam table. For her part, for now at least, Penelope sat quietly in the corner. I couldn’t see her, but strangely, her presence alone seemed to ease my nerves as compared to the last time I was here. Nodding at his question, though, I could also feel a sense of unease in my chest. Eventually, I was certain that he would need to hear about the fact that I had taken more than was originally prescribed to me. “I… I blacked out…” With the looming knowledge of my ‘overdose,’ I felt more timid than I had in years. ‘What is happening to me?’ “I see…” Dr. Benson was straightforward and showed little to no emotion to my plight. In retrospect, he was probably testing me in some way, but in that moment, I was uncharacteristically and suddenly enraged that he would be so cavalier with my condition. “You see?” I felt a rage nearly begin to foam at my mouth. I was normally a calm person, but lately, all my emotions had felt so raw and uncontrollable. “That’s all you have to say?” Dr. Benson sighed and scooted his stool closer to me. “Miss Glifford, please. You have to understand that…” “No!” I immediately cut him off. I could hear an excuse coming from a mile away. “I want you to fix me, darn it! I blacked out in front of a Little! What if that happened in front of my supervisor in the government or while I was driving or when I was out in public? I could lose my job or be taken away as some sideshow freak of the Bigs! Or something even worse!” I’m not sure why, but I felt like I needed to drive my point home to the doctor even more than before. His neutral expression only seemed to piss me off more, so I felt if my words weren’t working, actions would instead. In seconds, I stood up and stared defiantly back at Dr. Benson. “Fine! You won’t do something about all that, then what about this?” I’m not sure why I needed to, but right then, I felt a burning desire to show proof of my issues. So, without a second thought, I unbuttoned my pants and dropped them to my ankles. The old lady pad, as I had dubbed it, was actually pretty large and even through my tan full-cut panties, it was very obvious. Dr. Benson only looked at them casually and then looked back up at me. “Miss Glifford… Tiffany… please pull up your pants and sit back down. I understand you’re upset, and I see what you’re going through, but we need to talk with calmer heads. Do you think you can do that for me?” ‘Do you think you can do that for me?’ It was such a simple question, but it snapped me out of my anger. I think that was because if I was any other patient of his, I might have just complied and relinquished any feelings I had about it and simply complied without another thought. For me, caring for Littles as long as I had, it was a phrase I had used hundreds of times when I first was dealing with an unruly Little. I ashamedly hadn’t used the phrase with Timmy the other day, and I regretted that decision bitterly ever since, but hearing that phrase now, I couldn’t help but blush and realize that I was now standing in front of Dr. Benson with my padding exposed to the world. Doctor or not, it felt very unladylike, and more importantly, at least in the way I did it, something no adult would ever do. So, with about as much dignity after the fact as I could muster, I slowly bent down and gathered my pants up. Once buttoned back up, I sat down and stared back at Dr. Benson with horror at what I had just done. It had all been so spontaneous, it just felt so right at the time, but now… that same concern I had been feeling for a while, started to creep up into the back of my mind. “Thank you, Miss…” He quickly grimaced. “You know, since we’re probably going to be seeing each other more now, do you mind if I call you Tiffany instead?” I hesitated at first and I think that he could maybe see that. “It’s okay if not, but I like having a more friendly and familiar relationship with most of my patients. I think it cuts down on some of the stress you might feel when coming in here.” I didn’t need to hear anything further to be convinced. Feeling less stress was always better these days. Even if it felt strange and almost too familiar, I craved feeling less of a burden currently. “Tiffany is fine…” He smiled broadly back at me. “Perfect.” He adjusted himself on his stool and looked down at the file in his hands. “Now, I know I put you on Enilikas last time, but you just said you blacked out. Is that true?” I didn’t want to admit it again, but I didn’t want to lie, so I just nodded. “I see…” His eyes squinted for a minute, and I wondered if he already knew what I had done with the pills from that one symptom alone. “You know… Enilikas is designed to combat the effects of almost every regression drug out there on the market, but there can be… side effects for certain individuals… particularly if the original regression drug was powerful and even more so if the pills are…” He quickly sighed. “Shall we say… abused?” I could already feel his judgment and verdict raining down on me. He knew. I just knew that he knew that I had taken too many, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. It turns out my silence was all the confirmation he needed though. “I see…” He sighed again, this one more of frustration. “Mishandling of the that drug can be a serious problem… particularly with someone who had been exposed to such a high dosage of another regression drug.” Dr. Benson then shut his eyes closed tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking back at me. “You know your situation is very serious, Tiffany, right?” I figured about as much if the blackout, old lady pad, and apparent babbling were any indications, but I had never heard those exact words from Dr. Benson before. Hearing them know, I couldn’t help but gulp in fear of what that could truly mean for me. “But I didn’t mean to!” “I know you didn’t, Tiffany, but you need to start taking this whole matter a lot more seriously. It’s not just something you can brush aside,” he warned. “If you abuse this drug, it will lose its potency or even lead to further incidents like this one. In fact, at some point, it could be totally ineffective, or your body could react like it did this time even if you stop taking it. Is that what you want?” I knew Dr. Benson was just trying to relay the urgency of everything, but to my scrambled mind and delicate emotions, I was just feeling like a little kid again being scolded at for failing to pass the Algebra test. I could even feel myself curling into a tiny ball within myself to get away from his truthful but biting words. Fear gripped my whole body. Fear and shame that I had abused a drug of any kind in this way. I thought briefly back to what my life had been before Enilikas, and while it wasn’t absolutely terrible, it certainly wasn’t normal. So, if what Dr. Benson was saying was any bit of the truth, my actions could have just made things worse. I’m pretty sure that was my tipping point. “I… I’m sorry…” I could already feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. My voice was cracking, and the lump was growing larger in the back of my throat. I tried to swallow it and push everything down, being far too embarrassed overreacting like this in front of Dr. Benson, but it only seemed to make everything worse. “Please, please… I’ll do bettah… please give me anothuh chance… please!” At that point, the tears started to flow freely, whether I wanted them to or not. Dr. Benson only blinked at me at first. “Tifanny… I…” “Please! Please!” I shot forward and leaned onto the doctor as I grabbed his white lab coat. “I’ll do bettuh! I’ll do bettuh! Jus’ give me anothuh chance! I’ll do anything!” Dr. Benson seemed completely shocked by everything. In truth, I was as well, but I just couldn’t seem to turn off my emotions right then. I was feeling that same sense of shame I had before and I even started to freak out a little as my tears wet Dr. Benson’s shirt, and even more so when I finally realized that my words weren’t all coming out as they normally would have. In a way, if I had heard my own words, I would have sworn that I was at least tipsy, if not outright drunk. And at that point, as I boiled in my own shame and anguish, Dr. Benson looked over to the corner of the room. I wondered why, but soon, I could feel myself being lifted backward and someone shushing me as they rubbed my chest in order to try and calm me down. It worked. My sobs began to fade, and I could feel a calm start to envelop me. So, coming to my senses more, I quickly remembered that Penelope was in the room, and seeing her plainly manicured hand stroke my chest and shoulders, I knew I was being comforted by her. Strangely, that realization that she was the one helping me helped me calm down even more. Finally, after I was reduced to only a sniveling but calmer mess, Dr. Benson wrote a few notes down and then looked up at me. “Are we feeling better now?” Still shuddering over my most recent outburst, I still held back in Penelope’s arms and nodded silently. “Good. I’m glad to hear that, but I’m also going to take your word that you’ll do anything to fix this.” I quickly looked at Dr. Benson in horror. My wind whirred with the terrifying possibilities of what he meant by that. Too many horror novels and TV dramas hadn’t exactly given me much faith in doctors with few boundaries. Dr. Benson only laughed back at first. “No, no. Nothing like that!” He chuckled a little more, and pressed against Penelope, I could tell she let out a little laugh as well. I didn’t help my ego, but it did help my fears lower at least a little bit. Dr. Benson then regained his composure. “I promise you… it’s all safe, but maybe… just a little different.” “But does it work, Dr. Benson?” Penelope finally piped up from behind me. “I think I can speak for both of us in saying that we’ll do whatever it takes as long as it works.” I found it odd that this whole thing was now a ‘we’ but hearing the possibility of another fix, I just focused on Dr. Benson for now. To my relief, he nodded. “Yes. We’ve found that a combination of this treatment and the Enilikas is very potent. As I said, it’s not very traditional, but I’ve seen a number of successes.” He then sighed and put my chart down. “As I said, you aren’t the first to wander down this terrifying path.” I wanted to have an actual say in everything, so I quickly spoke up before Penelope could… just in case. “Okay, but just tell me what to do. Is it another pill or…?” Dr. Benson shook his head and wheeled his stool back over to the nearby cabinets and drawers that contained the rest of the medical supplies in the room. As he shuffled through one of the top cabinet drawers, Penelope slowly let me go. At first, I felt a tremendous loss I couldn’t explain, but after about a minute of her gradually tapering off, we had detached from each other, and I was no longer panicking. “Ah!” Dr. Beson suddenly exclaimed. “Here it is!” I leaned over a bit and saw that Dr. Benson was now furiously scribbling an address onto a piece of paper. A nearby flyer lay on the countertop below him. I couldn’t quiet make it out, but it at least seemed colorful… whatever it was advertising. Dr. Benson then rolled back and held out the piece of paper. Worrying Penelope was going to try and do something, I snatched it away. When I realized she hadn’t even made an attempt for it though, I blushed in my eagerness and paranoia that she was somehow treating me like a Little. That fear was growing, but now, I just felt ridiculous. Dr. Benson just seemed to ignore the action though. “Just come here tonight and bring someone you trust absolutely. Do you have someone in mind maybe?” I thought of all my friends and family, but each of them either lived very far away or seemed to be the gossip queens of Indianapolis. Each would want to know why I was coming to the address now in my hand, or worse, would want to come in with me. Not being sure of what was in this location, I felt there was only one other person I could trust. I quickly spun around, the paper crinkling underneath me and stared back at Penelope with a wide but hesitant smile. “Penelope?” I couldn’t tell if she was acting or her face was genuine, but she definitely seemed shocked at that moment. “Can you take me tonight?” Her shocked expression didn’t last long though. In seconds, it turned into a wide and warm smile right back at me. “Of course I will. Do you want me to hang onto the paper so I know where I should be headed?” My paranoia ramped up again, but her offer also just seemed logical. I could have been her navigator in the car, but logic and my inherent trust of her so far, with few indicators to suggest otherwise, let me hand her the paper with the address on it. With my ride now secured for tonight, I then turned back to a smiling Dr. Benson. “Well then, I guess I’ll see you both tonight.” We then made a few other arrangements and discussed a few technical aspects of tonight with directions and the like, as well as set up another appointment for three days from now. With all that out of the way though, I made sure I didn’t look like a wreck and followed Penelope out of the door as I was prescribed another bottle of Enilikas. Soon, we were back at the safehouse. Like before, the day proceeded very much as it usually did. I could feel a sense of unease settle among Mildred, Jackie, and the Littles still with us, but I just brushed it off, took another Enilikas pill, and went on with my day. Penelope promised to keep a close eye on me, and while the reason still flushed my cheeks, I felt a little more guarded with her presence around me. Still, the day went pretty smoothly, and approving it with Mildred already with the promise of overtime pay, Penelope and I decided to let our two mentally oldest Littles, Jonathan and Becky, in our plan for that night… or at least as much as they needed to know to actually agree to it. “So… you want us to be babysitters for tonight?” Becky asked, her swings in mental regression becoming a little more predictable and easier to manage. She had gotten stuck in one of those horrible mechanical nurseries for weeks when one of her friends pranked her after a dare between them had gone sour. Too scared for their own selves though, they simply left her, and while she was eventually rescued, her mind had just been on the verge of collapse. Now, with the work we had done with her, if she didn’t give into her urges, she was one of our more mature Littles. Responding back, I nodded. “That’s right, Becky. Penelope and I need to leave tonight, and Mildred is going to need your two’s help. Do you think you can do that for us?” Becky was already smiling and nodding her head, but I could tell that Jonathan had some serious doubts of his own. “Jonathan? Is that okay with you?” “I…” I could see that from his nightly wettings, his confidence was already starting to break down. The FOY in his system likely didn’t help matters, but I knew his days were numbered as one of our more mature Littles unfortunately. “I just don’t know…” I sighed. “I understand, Jonathan. It’s a big ask and I wouldn’t ask if this wasn’t important.” I hated the fact that Jackie had another engagement tonight and Vivian was still on vacation. At this point, I wasn’t even sure if she was going to return, but with everything so at the last minute, I knew the agency the safehouses fell under couldn’t send another replacement in time. Plus, if we did ask, we would have to lie or explain everything, and Penelope and I agreed that explaining things to them would just be too risky at this point. “Maybe think about it like this…” Penelope mused. “For both of you… think of this as an opportunity to shake off some of the blues I know you both have about your own conditions.” I could already see from the twinkle in her eyes that she had a plan brewing. “Maybe… you two do well tonight… we might just consider adding more privileges or goodies to your time here.” Again, Becky was already rapidly nodding, likely thinking of maybe being given to try out the potty once more, but again, Jonathan seemed more hesitant. Still, despite it taking him a few more moments to process everything, he eventually nodded. “Okay, fine. I’ll do it.” I smiled back at how well this plan was already going. I wasn’t the biggest fan of negotiating with Littles like this, but I also knew that Penelope had just gained something tonight without giving too much away. Being our two mentally oldest Littles, most of the time at least, new privileges were likely coming anyway. This way, everything had just been sped up, and ultimately, considering what we, or I, was getting in return, it just made sense. So, a final warning to the pair of them not to abuse their authority over the Littles, a ‘good luck’ and a ‘goodnight’ to everyone later, and Penelope and I left the safehouse once more. With the address from the paper already loaded into the GPS, we took off to an unknown event tonight. The whole way there, my fingers remained eternally crossed in the hope for our own good luck tonight. Finally, making it to the address, at first, Penelope and I were confused and wondered if everything for tonight had been a trap of some kind. The building was just like any other plain brick building of the surrounding area and even looked more like a warehouse of sorts. Only the cars already parked here, the noises only faintly coming through the walls, and the seemingly bouncer figure in front of the door said otherwise. Gathering up our nerves, Penelope and I approached. “Stop right there,” the beefy security guard all in black commanded to us. His voice seemed to boom through my eardrums, and I could see plainly that he wasn’t the sort of person one would want to cross. “Referral and password.” It was so plain that if we hadn’t been told beforehand, Penelope and I would have been confused and maybe even frightened of his curtness. Being warned by Dr. Benson of this though, I sighed and remembered what he told us to say. “Youth is quick in feeling but weak in judgement.” At first, I thought he wouldn’t allow us in, as he just stood there for a moment, but I then saw his hand go up to his ear and back down. “Very well. You are approved. Please, go inside now.” Penelope and I nodded and went in together. As we entered, another Big was there and held his hand up to us. “Ladies. Please hand me all your phones, electronic devices, or any recording devices you may have on you. I will store them, and you may access them at the end of the night. We also suggest you keep any of your valuables, such as purses, wallets, or jewelry out here as well, but this is up to you.” The request quickly sent a tingle of fear up my back. I had done that before when I was younger in college when I went to the local clubs, all security reasons of the various members inside, but my mind was telling me different things as well. I felt this was supposed to help my symptoms… not be a place that needed to be concerned with security measures like these. Still, I was desperate, so Penelope and I quickly gave up what he requested and went through a scanner through a pair of black-out curtains. On the other side though, my jaw nearly fell to the floor. In front of me, I saw six interconnected but separate rooms. The first seemed to be a changing room of sorts with changing tables and curtained stalls to one side. The second was full of cribs and seemed to be the darkest and most serene of the lot. Next seemed to be an exercise area of sorts where balls, jump ropes, and even swings and a jungle gym were. The fourth was clearly meant for arts and crafts with the flurry of glitter and almost snowstorm of paper that was being tossed about in there. The fifth and next closest room contained just a stage and several crates full of what I could only surmise were costumes. Then lastly, in the center of it all was the sixth room and appeared to be a lounge of sorts that the main entrance neatly dumped into. If this was a daycare of sorts, I would have felt right at home with all the Littles or actual babies or toddlers running or crawling about. Everything smelled like lavender, disinfectant and baby powder, so just from that alone, I felt I was returning home, but that wasn’t what stopped me in my tracks or dropped my jaw. Looking all around I saw the figures weren’t Littles or actual babies or toddlers, but Bigs. They weren’t just Bigs though… each was brightly dressed in all manner of babyish and toddler clothing. My eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, it took only seconds to connect the thick bulges around their waists to the changing table I had seen in the first room to my left. Every Big here was diapered it seemed like. As if to punctuate that, I then felt a tug to my left. I looked down. Bearded and buff but wearing only a romper and his own obvious diaper underneath, a Big was crawling at my feet and now pulling at my pants. “Miss! Miss! You da newbee?” I was too stunned to speak, and I guess Penelope was too. It didn’t seem to matter though. “Dat’s okay! We all new! If you awe her dough… can you be my fwiend?” Before I could even begin to stutter, another figure came over. “Colin!” The diapered Big before me shrank down even closer to the floor and now sported a saddened lower lip. The other Big walked closer and began to point and scold Colin as he bent over slightly for a bigger impact on him. “You know not to bombard our new guests like that. Do you need a minute on the timeout stool?” “No! No!” Colin said, shaking his head nearly violently back and forth. “I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” The other Big smiled and patted him on the head. “That’s what I thought. Now, run along and go find your other friends to play with.” Seeming terrified of any ‘timeout stool,’ Colin rushed away as fast as he could while still only subject to the speed of his crawling. Standing back up from his scolding of Colin, the other Big looked right at me. “Good evening, ladies. My name is Wilbur and I’m the caretaker of this place. Welcome… to Adulescens!” He then reached over to a nearby shelf and pulled out a few items and presented them to us with a wide smile. “Care for a complementary sippy cup of juice or a snack perhaps?” Penelope remained unusually quiet… almost like she already knew about this place or at least wasn’t as shocked to see it as I was. Still, I finally manage to find my wording. “N… no… definitely not. I… I mean… wh… what is this p… place?” Wilbur’s smile and near majestic introduction to this place dimmed immediately and he quickly set the sippy cup and snack back on its original shelf to the side. “Oh… you don’t know?” I quickly shook my head. “Oh… you must be one of the true newbies here.” He shook his head and popped his smile back on. “No worries! If you two will just follow me, I’m sure everything will be explained right quick!” Not sure what to make of any of what I was seeing, I meekly followed Wilbur to the central lounge of the hope and spoke designed building. Once inside, it didn’t take me long to distinguish this space from the other rooms. While each of the surrounding five rooms was almost solely occupied by at least a dozen or so Bigs in total, the central area was pleasantly decorated but still maintained a sense of authority and an almost underground poker room vibe instead. Most strikingly though, sitting around the couches or the table off to one side, each Big was clearly still a Big… not some diaper-wearing oddity. Getting closer, it didn’t take me long to spot Dr. Benson, especially when Wilbur tapped him on the shoulder. “Doctor? I’m sorry to bother you, but it seems your patient has arrived…” Dr. Benson’s eyes widened, and he immediately stood up and began scanning around. Finding me, he smiled and ran over to me. “Tiffany! Penelope! You made it!” I was expecting an apology and not just some warm greeting like we were seeing each other again for the first time in years like at a class reunion. My emotions swinging wildly, I clocked in back from shock to anger. “You made it? Is that all you have to say for yourself? No explanations? Just almost some form of just a ‘hey?’ in this type of place?” The smile on Dr. Benson’s face vanished, but he still maintained a sense of authority I couldn’t quite place. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Tiffany, but if I could just explain, I’m sure that you’ll…” “Stuff it, doc!” Everyone stopped what they were doing, gasped, and turned to us. I felt I was in the wrong, but my emotions felt locked in place and unstoppable. “I want some damn answers you bastard!” Everyone gasped again, and this time, I saw a few of the nearby diapered Bigs look at me in terror. Dr. Benson breathed in heavily but seemed to still maintain his outward demeanor. “Now, Tiffany. In here, we do not cur…” “No!” I just didn’t want to hear what he had to say at this point. I had come here for a cure, or at least some medication or other therapy… not to be the very thing I was trying to avoid. I was making assumptions of course, and I will admit a fault to that, but seeing all these Bigs parading around in onesies and thick diapers just made me want to flee or fight as fast as I could. “I’m not a baby and I won’t have you treating me like one! No, no, no! Damn it, I won’t! You can take this piece of crap place and shove it!” Everyone gasped again and I could feel a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me back, clearly Penelope trying to deescalate the situation as fast as she could. For Dr. Benson, he stepped closer to me, and with a disapproving glare, stepped closer to me. Before he could speak though, Wilbur rushed to his side. “Sir… sorry, sir, but we have rules here and language like that is not approved of. If you won’t do anything about it, I might suggest that someone else take charge of her pun…” But Dr. Benson quickly put his hand up. “No,” he said sternly. “I’ll take care of this, Wilbur. You can reassure everyone else I will handle this.” He then took another step closer to me and glared down at my resolute but slightly shrinking form under his new gaze. “Outside. Now.” It wasn’t a question, and in that singular moment, I realized I had screwed up in a big way. I still felt justified in my shock over seeing this place initially, but I knew I shouldn’t have made a scene like that and cursed in front of everyone. So, not wanting to cause more of a scene, I turned around and quickly exited. Out in the parking lot, while Penelope stayed inside to collect our things quickly if needed, I stopped, and Dr. Benson glared at me. Before I could start making excuses though, Dr. Benson angrily spoke first. “That was totally unacceptable, Tiffany. You do not get to come here and mouth off like that, do you understand me?” I felt like a naughty child right then, and I couldn’t help but wilt a bit and nod quickly. “Good. First, I want you to take a breath and hear me out. Can you do that much for me at least right now?” His doctorly and commanding, rather than purely displeased, voice was returning. So, taking a breath, I nodded. “Good. Now, just listen.” He took a breath and continued. “Enilikas works wonders, but for a case like yours, and the others here, your younger side will lash out in times of stress and may take over completely. This could be against your will even, but here, you can unleash that inner stress and your unconscious need to enter a regressed state. It’s not perfect, but it’s worked so far with the rest of the Bigs in there.” “But they’re so weird!” I couldn’t get the image of grown men and women crawling around in diapers out of my head. When Littles first came to our world when the portal opened, we got a lot of adults that wanted the Little lifestyle. For some, it was more than they bargained for, but most became the ideal adoptees to wanting Bigs. Everyone just felt that wanting to be a Little, or a baby, came naturally to their kind and our own native Littles, but all this… it felt in complete contrast to that notion, and it was freaking me out. “To some, maybe… but we have all walks of life who come here. By now, in this city alone, we have almost 50 members. We even have a judge now, but this place…” He pointed back to the building we had just come out of. “Adulescens is a place they can go to feel safe and unwind. If you go back in, it can save who you are, but you need to leave all your anger and judgement out here. Is that something you can do?” I wanted to give anything a try, but any way that I cut this whole thing, just felt like too much. I tried to find a way I could say that I would be okay with it, but I failed over and over again. “I… I don’t think I can do that…” Dr. Benson sighed and looked at the ground briefly. “Well then… it seems we have a problem here.” He scratched the back of his head and continued. “The way I see this… you have two choices going forward and two choices only.” Not seeing them clearly, I wanted to hear them out loud. “And those are?” Dr. Benson held up one finger. “First option… you take the Enilikas and come back inside. Maybe not tonight, but you come back in and save your adult self when you’re not here. Do it now and things should go back to normal, or at least as normal as they could be not counting your still-present PTSD from that night.” Given what I had just seen and the measures I would have to take in order to do what Dr. Benson wanted, I just wasn’t sure anymore. “And the second option?” Dr. Benson groaned, almost like it pained him to even say it out loud. “Well, your second option is that I cut you off from your medicine. Whatever Enilikas you have, will be it. It’s harsh and unfair maybe, but this place with the drug you were injected with would make the Enilikas practically a waste at some point. So, you go with this option, at some point, you will run out. Keep the meds you have and then you can see where this whole thing goes with your symptoms.” I could quickly tell that he didn’t want me to choose the second option, but I could also see the resolve in his eyes that he wasn’t going to back down from these choices. I would either have to embrace this babyish treatment for a single night here, or Dr. Benson sighed with regret. “Look, I want you to choose the first option. I really do think it’s what’s best, but I can already see your face. You would probably rather anything else, so you’re probably going with option two, right?” I hesitated, but I still nodded eventually. “Yeah… that’s what I figured, so I can at least leave you with this hope if nothing else… just so you don’t think I’m leaving you to rot.” I felt a sense of hope buried behind all his worry and I wanted to know more. “What? What is it?” I felt desperate for anything else… just as he said. “Well, to be completely open and honest with you, there are a few case studies with people like you that go cold turkey with the Enilikas.” I knew he wanted to keep this a secret from me as much as possible, so for him to tell it to me, actually meant a lot right then. “The studies suggest that cutting a body off from it might dissipate symptoms eventually. It’s tough and notably embarrassing or even messy at times, but it could be a fix. So, the choice is up to you and the second option could work. Doubtful, but possible…” Right then, Penelope exited Adulescens and stared at us both out here with worry. “Is everything okay out here? I was getting a little worried…” Dr. Benson looked at me with a worried determination… like trying to hold out hope that somehow, I would return to him. I could see that hope fade though and being as smart and as good with his patients as he seemed to be, he probably already knew my decision before even I did. “Everything is fine, Penelope,” I finally said. “We were just leaving.” I could practically see the hope and the life drain from Dr. Benson’s face. He knew which choice I would make, and it would be easy money to bet he believe it was all going to go wrong for me. “I’m sorry, doc,” I said, feeling the need to at least apologize to him at this point. “I don’t doubt you, but in there… in there, I feel like I would be surrendering to whatever this is. My second option might be worse, but if there’s a chance that I can break out of this whole mess… I have to take it, right?” Dr. Benson shrugged his shoulders. “I honestly don’t know, but I have to say that I’m a little disappointed.” He shook his head and then stood back up as straight as he could. “Still, I want to wish you luck out there, okay?” I nodded and we both shook hands before he went back to the front door by the bouncer. “Help her… please,” was all he said to Penelope before turning back to me. “Just in case you need it though, you know where we are, and understand tonight that our door will always be open to you.” He nodded again to both of us and then disappeared back inside. Penelope, bewildered by what just happened, marched over to me. “What the heck was that? What chance? What is your second option? What happened, Miss G?” I sighed and shook my head. “We’re not coming back here. That’s what. Just…” I wanted to explain everything to her, and I would, knowing I would need her help, but for now, I just wanted to leave and go to sleep. “Just… drive us out of here and let’s get back home…” Penelope nodded silently but with a noted look of concern and we both got in her car and drove away. Seeing a distant storm forming, I sighed and reflected back on what had just happened. I hoped more than I think I ever had in my life that I had made the right decision. As we hit a bump in the road, I could feel my old lady pad crinkle slightly and I knew that only time could ever answer that question.

Hey everyone! As I said previously, I made it back safe from my trip. Not necessarily the trip I was expecting, but that’s not always a bad thing either. Lots of fun and new experiences, but regardless, I’m ready to hop back into this story. In light of that though, the lack of sleep from my trip finally caught up with me. I really tried to get this story out last night, but I struggled to write the final few paragraphs out and I knew my editing of everything just wasn’t going to happen. So, I apologize for that. Next, with everything I’ve planned out, there are only about 12 chapters to this story. Keeping that in mind, this story should be done before the end of this month if I post how I want to when I’m looking ahead. More might be added later if I feel the story needs to be fleshed out, but this is just a nice, end of the summer story before some of the heavier ones I’ve included in the poll from the last chapter. Speaking of which, I just wanted to thank the several of you that have already voted. I can’t tell which of you have, but the results of using this poll system seem to be very telling already. I think I might also post another poll during the last chapter to see what you all think about using the system, but feel free to comment below if you wish. Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 3: Too Much of a Good Thing My knee practically couldn’t stop bouncing as I waited around for my name to be called in Dr. Benson’s office. I had been here once before, and that visit ended with me storming out in a huff because I was being treated like a Little… or at least being asked the questions that most Bigs asked Littles with any kind of problems in our society these days. Now, I was determined to stay through anything and fix my problem, but that inner resolve didn’t help calm my nerves very much. Still, regardless of my own feelings, I didn’t have much time to truly panic as a nurse soon exited from the door to the rest of the offices. “Tiffany Glifford?” the nurse called out. I stood up and nodded toward her before following her to the rear of the clinic. Penelope stayed behind, still electing to give me a smile and a thumbs up, but for some reason, despite everything else I had been through and that I had already seen Dr. Benson before, I was slightly apprehensive about her staying behind. It was a peculiar sensation longing for her to come with me, but I quickly had to brush it out of my mind as I stepped on the scale and then had my temperature taken. All of it was standard, but that uneasy feeling I had in the waiting room wasn’t leaving and even seemed to be growing. Finally, though, I sat down on the waiting room exam table, complete with a disposable pad that rolled from the rear. As I waited a little longer, I wondered what other type of patients had sat here before me. Some of the signs around me pointed to the whole notion that anyone could have sat here. In one corner, there was a poster with tips on dealing with diapers and sleep problems, clearly designed for Littles, but on another wall, I saw warning signs that noted ‘Your Little Could Be Making You Sick,’ clearly intended for Bigs. That polarization wasn’t what caught my attention though. The truly worrying and even downright horrific piece was in the center of the room, right where I was directly facing from my seat on the table. Black and yellow writing and insignias adorned the whole poster, making it look like one giant caution sign. It was one of the ‘If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms…’ type of posters, but reading on, the symptoms listed unnerved me to my core. Diarrhea, sweating, fever, coughing, incontinence, weakness, confusion, inability to read, burning sensations, dissolving skin, odd growths, and changes to skin color were just the tip of the many symptoms the poster warned of. I wondered if I should read further into those symptoms for myself, but Dr. Benson soon knocked on the door and entered. “Hello again, Miss Glifford,” he said smiling with a slight wash of relief over his face. “I’m glad you’ve decided to return. I just want to apologize for my questions the other day. This job can be… a bit much at times and I just find those questions strike at the heart of 99% of the problems that come through these doors. Moving forward, I will try to maintain a bit more of a sensitivity with your current, uh… problems.” I was relieved to hear him say that, and I smiled back, still trying hard to block out my nerves from the waiting room and now the warning symptoms poster. “Thank you, Dr. Benson. But really, I want to apologize for running out of here like I did. I’m not sure what came over me… maybe fear? Anger?” I sighed thinking back to my behavior that day and my lack of control over it. “I’m just really not sure, but I’m definitely sorry for behaving like that.” Dr. Benson gave me a reassuring smile and I felt a little reassurance and pride come back to me. “But you did come back, Miss Glifford. How about this? Let’s just call the first visit a learning curve and see if we can do better, okay?” I smiled and nodded. Despite my inner reservations about Dr. Benson still, I knew I needed his help now more than ever. His questions, though blunt, now just seemed thorough in retrospect in trying to truly determine my problem. If I was to tackle and beat whatever was affecting me, I needed to stay on his good side and embrace whatever help he could give me. At this point, I knew that if I wanted any success, I needed to push all my other feelings about him down as far as I could. So, regardless, with a fair amount of trepidation but determination, Dr. Benson and I then discussed several of my problems. He delicately asked a few more of his questions, and while I did recognize them as being Little-orientated like before, I felt an ease I hadn’t previously. His new and more tactful mannerisms were definitely paying off this time. Also, each of his questions seemed more focused now and while not terrible individually, I ashamedly answered ‘yes’ to nearly every one of them for this round instead. “So, what is this? What’s happening to me, doctor?” I asked impatiently as Dr. Benson looked over his notes carefully after I answered the last of his questions. “Is this some kind of rare cancer that I’ve never heard of before? Some new drug on the market I accidentally got exposed to? What?” I wanted to know specific answers, but with each question I asked, I also felt I knew the answer deep within me already. It was the most obvious, but also the most perplexing and the answer with the largest number of unknowns if it was confirmed: the shot that the tattooed man had given me. Dr. Benson sighed and pulled out another file from the notes in front of him. “Do you know what this is?” I looked over the manilla folder, but not seeing any writing on it at least from this angle, I shook my head. “This is your official hospital and police file. I had a copy sent over to me to see if it could fill in any gaps with my remaining questions after you stormed out. If you noticed, my questions were a little more pointed today.” “I did,” I said with a blush. It was a nearly devastating and death-inducing embarrassment to admit to wetting the bed to a practical stranger, doctor or not. Dr. Benson just smiled warmly back at me though. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, especially because I now believe I know what happened to you…” My eyes widened and I leaned forward while I sat on the edge of the exam table with bated breath. “I’m not sure the official name, but I believe you were exposed to a new tricky substance that was likely bio-engineered in a lab somewhere. I’ll have to do more research on it, but doctors in my line of specialty have been noting cases, like yours, that seem to follow a pattern. So far, you seem to be sticking to those patterns almost exactly.” To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was comforted by that notion at this point or not. I wasn’t alone, and therefore maybe not the freak I feared I was in our society, but a spreading wave of people with symptoms like me didn’t exactly spell success or a ‘cure’ either. Also, based on Dr. Benson’s face, I had an answer, but it shouldn’t be taken as the best of news. Still, I wanted that to be confirmed. “So… is there any good news then?” I didn’t want to ask the question, but I had come here for answers. Like ripping off a bandage, painful but quick seemed the way to go to figure out what this was. Unfortunately, Dr. Benson sighed and briefly rubbed his temples. “Well, there’s no cure per say, but we can mask the symptoms with one course of treatment. It’s pretty simple, but it’s effective if my guesses are right. Unless you were lying to me at some point today, or the first time you were here, you should see some relief with your… problems.” The lack of a ‘cure’ didn’t sit right with me, but I knew that even with our society’s advanced technology, not everything could be cured. Still, masking the symptoms and helping me with my problem seemed a welcome relief if nothing else. So, with few options open to me and without further question, I stuck out my hand and nodded. “Sounds perfect. Just give me the treatment now and I’ll be on my way.” Dr. Benson sighed once again but then nodded and reached up into the cabinets above him and removed a single pill bottle. “I just got these the other day… just in case. This isn’t a cure as I said, but if you take these as prescribed, and only that, they should help you out a bit. Let’s make an appointment for two weeks from now, but also, feel free to book another if anything else should occur or your symptoms advance.” I knew he likely wanted to say, ‘if my symptoms got worse,’ but he had probably learned to sugarcoat bad news or phrases like that in a clinic where ‘skin dissolving’ was a common enough warning sign to watch out for. Pocketing the pills and then getting back home with Penelope, I took the ‘Enilikas’ medication as soon as I returned to my room upstairs. Tiny and unremarkable, the light-yellow pills were easy enough to swallow with one gulp of water right after eating as directed. To my delight, like a light switch flicking on, my brain immediately felt clear. Almost as if I was instantaneously pulled out of a drunk stupor, everything seemed to normalize around me. As the day progressed, the feeling would fade slightly but then pop back again once I took them again a few hours later. Otherwise, though, I felt normal. So, everything else seemed to go back to normal as well. I could still see Penelope watching me like a hawk initially, but after a week, I noticed she resumed her normal duties and left me mostly by myself. Around the same time though, I noticed that the ‘clear’ effect wasn’t as prominent compared to when I started taking the doses. At first, I thought my overall mind might have been improving and my peaks and highs weren’t as prominent. After I began to hunger to be hugged and actually found one cartoon show fascinating though, I then realized that my tolerance might have increased, or the pills were no longer working. So, proud of myself for at least catching onto my symptoms this time, I felt that if the pills once worked, taking more now when their effectiveness had faded seemed the best step. I started this new slightly increased routine on Tuesday right before lunch to give me a boost. Wednesday I was fine and even Thursday I was fine. But by Thursday night, I felt unusually scared of the dark all alone in my room. I tried to hug myself or a pillow or my sheets, but nothing worked. Afraid, angry, and frustrated, I took another pill. Instantly, I felt better and passed out. During the following day, everything proceeded like normal. I was on my new regular dose of the Enilikas and had just changed Ian and Becky’s diapers and helped put everyone down for a nap, so satisfied, I decided to take a seat and watch some TV before I resumed my normal work duties around the safehouse. Right as one of my dramas ended though, a new PSA came on the screen. Jonathan was with me and as the PSA progressed. At first, I wasn’t even paying attention, but about halfway through, I started to notice him looking at me funny. I had mostly tuned the PSA, so when it repeated to ensure the message came across to viewers, I froze in terror over the message before me. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We have just received reports of Bigs giving into what best could be described as ‘Little tendencies.’ These can vary greatly, but authorities have now asked for the public’s help in tracking these individuals down. If their symptoms persist, they can become a danger to themselves or their community. So again, any Big spotted behaving more like a Little than a mature adult, should contact the following number on your screen immediately. Thank you.” The straight-faced announcer seemed so friendly and authoritative, but Jonathan’s look from before deeply concerned me now given what the PSA was about. ‘Did he know something? Was I that obvious?’ Fear of being found out or turned in gripped my very soul. “Hmmm… probably just some propaganda, huh?” Mildred asked, suddenly shattering my thoughts as she walked up behind the couch where I was seated. I jerked around to see her, terror in my heart now. “Geez, Mildred! You startled me right there, but yeah…” I said as I desperately tried to calm my heart rate down, “you’re probably right…” My focus drifted to the green stuffy chipmunk that one of the Littles had brought down from the nursery earlier today. For some reason, in that single moment, I just wanted to hug the stuffy more than I had wanted to do anything in my life. I felt like I was going to burst if I didn’t. Then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. Right then, I wanted to cuddle and take comfort in a stuffy of my own. My eyes bulged and my pulse increased in seconds. Not wanting to attract attention, as much as I could, I casually got up and walked over to the stairs. “Uh… I’ll be right back. Just need to… fix my hair and check on the Littles in the newborn wing.” Jonathan shrugged his shoulders and Mildred gave me a funny look, but it was enough for me to leave the room. Unfortunately, halfway up the stairs to my room, I remembered that currently, we didn’t have any Littles in the newborn room. Mildred had the grace not to call me out on it, but she knew I was lying. It didn’t help my anxiety as it surged more as I advanced up through each floor. Going back to explain my actions would just have been too suspicious at this point. Trying to put yet another thing out of my mind, I finally came to my room, and I burst into my bathroom. I found the Enilikas pills right away and popped out another pale-yellow pill. A single pill was smaller than my pinky nail, but right then, I couldn’t think of anything else. I needed that pill if was the last thing I was going to do. So, popping it in my mouth, I then downed a glass of water, exhaled, and immediately began to feel the effects of the medication sharpen my mind. Almost as quickly, I could feel my anxiety start to ease off as well. I felt comfortable, relaxed, and relieved. So, I went back downstairs, seemingly no one the wiser of what I had done. With my own welfare sorted, Penelope soon returned from her duties with the rest of the Littles, and we all helped clean up and deal with making dinner for tonight. We even asked Jonathan to help, but he was growing more reserved and quieter every day, and we knew his help would be limited at this point. Having taken him to the doctor last week, concerned about his bedwetting, we discovered that he had been dosed with FOY by a Big who he once called his friend. The news was devastating, and it didn’t help that at least once an hour, a commercial would pop up describing all the ill effects of the illegal drug. Legal forms existed in clinics all over but here in Indianapolis, FOY was the street drug of choice for regressions, temporary for parties or long-term for easily preyed upon Littles. To an extent, Jonathan was doomed, and we all knew it. I felt bad for him, but I couldn’t help but be a little selfish and think of myself every time I saw him wake up to a wet bed and now a pair of wet pull-ups. It was what I was trying desperately to avoid, despite what Dr. Benson had told me about the Enilikas not being a cure. So far, my efforts seemed to meet with success, but there was a tiny tingling feeling of sorts in the back of my mind. Drugs were tricky, the ones our society created most of all. Now, I was increasing my dosage. I knew it was a risk, but considering the alternatives, I felt fine with that risk. So, for now, everything went according to my perfect plan of staying clear for longer. Nap time soon ended and amongst the flurry of badly needed diaper changes and round of cuddling after everyone had woken up, the house was alive with electric energy once more. Six Littles under the care of Mildred, Penelope, and I was manageable, but today, Harry was having a bad day. “No! I won’ give ‘em back!” Timmy shouted as Harry tried to pull his stuffy chimp, Eddy, back from his now former friend. Eddy was intact and smelled nice. Timmy’s dedicated stuffy however, was about the polar opposite and was being mended and washed currently. Without a dedicated cuddle buddy now, Timmy wanted Eddy. “No! No! He’s mine!” Harry yelled back, desperately trying to win his own stuffy back, while noticeably pushing forward toward Timmy. Other observers might assume that Timmy was winning their impromptu tug-of-war match, but watching and knowing them as I did, I knew that Harry was just trying to protect his precious Eddy from being torn in two. Unfortunately, right as he stepped forward on the fifth time, he came too close to Timmy. Immediately, I could see the panic in Timmy’s eyes, and I knew from his background that he would only react in one way to what he perceived as a legitimate threat. And, sure enough, not two minutes later, Timmy smacked but missed Harry. It didn’t matter though and the two began to engage each other in an attempted slap fight. The other Littles cheered on, and Penelope and I held back for a moment. We knew this was a teachable moment for everyone involved and could save us effort down the road as long as no one got hurt. As soon as Timmy actually clocked Harry in the mouth though, Penelope and I knew their time was up. “Enough you two!” Penelope shouted first after giving me the nod that she would take the lead this time to quell the fighting. “Both of you! Stop your fighting! Now!” Both complied instantly, but stopping the fighting and then quickly taking Eddy away was only step one. “Buh, buh… he stawted ih’!” Harry countered back, in a vain yet endearing way to try and sway Penelope’s favor toward his side and avoid punishment. His eyes darted back and forth between Penelope and his beloved stuffy now clenched tightly in her fingers. “I don’t care who started it. I’m ending it.” Penelope’s voice didn’t waver. I could tell in her eyes that she knew Harry was ultimately in the right and likely only defending himself in his mind, but in a safehouse full of impressionable Littles, giving in at all to a single Little was a sign of weakness that at least one of them would try and exploit later. Littles were good for the most part, but regressed and stressed emotions combined with a yearning to return to their old lives as ‘adults’ just meant that we had our fair share of outbursts and periods of misbehavior like this. Examples of misbehavior had to be dealt with quickly and fairly. I could see that Harry still wanted to protest, but trying to be good, he immediately began to pout instead. Timmy sulked in his own way, but I could see the tiny flexes of his fingers as he tried to reach out and take Eddy back from Penelope. Seeing my moment, I swooped in and snatched up Timmy before he made things worse. “You deal with Harry, Penelope. I’ve got this one.” I could see the fear eclipsing both Timmy’s and Harry’s face as I carried Timmy off. Nodding, Penelope picked Harry up to take him in the back as well. For her part, Mildred now held back the rest of the Littles and cleared a path for both me and Penelope with our respective Littles. I took the kitchen while Penelope went outside to my small office back there. For Harry, I knew at worst, he might just receive a strongly worded lecture that would instill a sense of guilt and right versus wrong. It was a substantially less severe punishment than what Timmy was going to get. According to plan Harry would be punished still in a minor way, but would remain more hidden, while the harsher punishment of Timmy could at least echo through the house and serve as a warning. I didn’t want to be cruel, and I made sure my staff wasn’t either, but Littles here needed structure and to follow the rules of the house. Bending the rules could be okay, but hitting another Little staying here and taking their toy were two big ‘no-no’s.’ Despite my care toward Littles, I couldn’t let something like that simply stand without some type of consequence. I sighed as I paused and set the still struggling Timmy down on the kitchen floor. “Now, Tommy. I want you to think about what you’ve done. You…” “But I…!” He tried to interject, but I made sure to quickly cut him off. “No,” I said firmly while also holding my finger up to him and giving Timmy a stern glance. “We do not hit here, and we do not take other people’s stuffy’s. Is that understood?” Timmy muttered something under his breath which I could only guess at. Wanting to make sure I heard a full acknowledgement that he was in the wrong in this case, I pressed on. “Come again, young man?” Timmy dejectedly looked at the floor in defeat. He wasn’t a bad kid, but he had a bad day. Every Little had them, even the near-painfully timid Ian, still quiet as he sat in the corner and attempted to read his old diary entries rather than get involved with the drama of the house. We had been working on his reading comprehension, but it was still a struggle. Regardless, though, Timmy knew he had messed up and I could see the look of regret wash over his whole body. “I… I… sorry, Miss G…” I could see his bottom lip begin to tremble and my heart reached out to him fully, but I knew the rules here by heart. Half were government mandated, but the other half were my own based on my experience with Littles. They just needed some structure sometimes, and that’s where my staff and I fell into place. Unfortunately, the structure here for unruly Littles like Timmy today meant a spanking to one degree or another. With two relatively minor offenses, however, it was would just be four quick spanks. Some Littles elsewhere or before coming here were subject to at least 50 for the same infractions. It was naturally terrifying, but as I started to position myself in place, I think something might have snapped in Timmy. It happened to a lot of Littles who once owned a business or had an ego the size of Gaule or might have experienced some form of severe punishment before. There were a lot of reasons for his actions, and I should have expected something… but I didn’t as I crouched to get closer to him. “Okay, Timmy. You know the drill by now. I’ll go really fast, and I’ll even make sure you get the soothing cream during tonight’s diaper change, but just stay still and this…” “No!” With the speed of a thunderbolt, Timmy spun around and then reached out and smacked me across the face with all his might. I wasn’t sure what to make of it at first. Timmy had been emotionally damaged by the testers at the experimental lab he was eventually rescued from, but he had never been this violent toward me or anyone else before. I wanted to know more, but before I could make out even a single syllable, he smacked me across the face again. “No! No, no, no! I won’!” He then even went for a third, but I was ready this time from his right-handed slap. “No, Timmy! No! We do not hit!” I could feel my blood boiling in seconds, and I wanted to exact my revenge over what he had done. In truth, I almost felt a bloodlust, which absolutely terrified me, being far from my normal response… but I didn’t stop myself. For some reason, this time, it felt too good. “Now, come here, mister!” I said with about as much self-control as I could muster. I really just wanted to blister his butt and give him a lesson he would never forget. I had the power, and I had won over him. He needed to know that it was my way or the highway. “Now, over my lap…” Unfortunately, I was so focused on his right hand slapping me and my revenge, I didn’t account for his left hand at all. Significantly less strength, but his left hand landed right across my check with a sickening smack. It was small but surprisingly powerful for such a tiny person in front of me. “No!” he shouted at me again. “I won’ be spanked! I a good boy! No spank! No spank!” At that point, I lost it. I could see his fear, but no, my blood was boiling, and I was even pissed at myself for not holding Timmy under a more iron thumb. So, determined to do that now, I went in for the first strike and nearly spun Timmy around to position his butt for a pre-spank strike to quell his thoughts of rebellion further, but something happened first. As I positioned my arm above my head, I felt faint over my entire body. It was just small at first, but as I leaned Timmy forward for a better angle, I felt this new weakness and feeling of faint even more. As I reached up again to land the first strike against his defiant butt, my mind went fuzzy. I gritted my teeth, and my hand dropped limply to my side. “Oh! My head! I feel so… so…” Everything then went black. * * * ‘My head… my head…’ My eyes fluttered open as my head felt like it was splitting in two. I felt heavy everywhere, my mouth was dry, and I wanted to puke seven times over. I was very confused but as my eyes better adjusted to the light, I realized I was in my room. ‘Wait… wasn’t I downstairs in the kitchen with Timmy about to…? Oh no!’ I realized that I was only seconds away from punishing him in a way that I found totally unacceptable. ‘What’s happening to me? Why was I so… uncontrolled? But… how did I get here?’ My confusion didn’t dissipate as it normally did during some of the mornings I had woken up with a hangover. Things cleared or became obvious during those times when I righted myself with the world. Nauseous or incredibly thirsty, but still clear and able to piece most of what I last remembered before passing out. It was usually pretty weird, but the truth was still there… waiting to be discovered. Today… everything just felt foggy… or even completely blank. As I sat up, though I got my bearing back a little bit. My head cleared a bit more, but with that, I discovered two large problems. The first was my clothing. I discovered that I was no longer wearing the soft blue blouse and khaki capris that I had dressed myself in this morning. Instead, it was my pajamas, which might not have been so odd, but most concerningly, I had no memory of dressing myself in them. That, however, paled in comparison to when I shifted slightly in my bed and heard a very distinctive crinkle. To my horror and shame, as I slowly lifted my sheets to confirm my terrible suspicions, I knew the truth. I was diapered. Despite having this very dream hundreds of times before of being diapered like an infant if my condition ever worsened, the only solace I could take in my diapered state was that the diapers at least weren’t babyish themed. No baby blocks or cartoons for me, but it was of little comfort. The waistband just sported the company title and the size and thickness of them. To my chagrin, I already knew without even seeing the thickness label, there were few thicker sizes for adults on the market. Just as I was about to launch myself out of bed though to change out of this ridiculous garment, my door opened slowly, and Penelope walked in. “Oh good! I thought I heard you wake up. I was so worried when you didn’t wake up. I almost called an ambulance.” I could feel my pulse immediately quicken. A blackout combined with a diaper and a concerned Penelope likely seemed to only spell disaster. “Worried? You were worried? Why were you so worried?” I didn’t want to know the answer on some level, but Penelope just nodded. “I figured you might ask me that, but the answer is simple…” She sighed for a moment and then looked directly at me with a piercing gaze that seemed to practically crawl under my skin. “You took more pills, didn’t you?” In a second, I instantly felt like I was being treated like a Little that belonged downstairs, or at least being questioned like one. For a Big, there were far fewer things that could be more nightmare inducing or terrifying than being questioned like that while wearing a diaper. “Maybe…” I really didn’t want to tell Penelope that I had and give her more fuel to drag me back to Dr. Benson’s like some naughty toddler. I felt I had this whole thing handled… but another part of me knew that I was in diapers for a reason. I didn’t want to know, but I knew the answer would be coming soon. Penelope sighed. “Well, that ‘maybe’ caused you to pass out after you and Timmy had it out with each other. I was just coming back inside with Harry after I scolded and then gave him a cuddle when I saw you collapse on the ground. I got Mildred to get all the Littles out, Timmy and Harry included, and made an excuse to them that you were still recovering from a rare sickness. I think most of them bought it, but Miss G… you woke up not long after but…” Her eyes and words trailed off. I knew right away she was trying to hide something from me. Again, I didn’t want to know, but I knew I just had to hear what happened. “Tell me. Please…” Penelope sighed again but ultimately nodded her head. “Very well… see, you were babbling. Not just a little or slurring your words like you were drunk or recovering from a drug overdose, but full-on babbling like a tiny baby or regressed Little. It wasn’t long before you completely wet yourself on the kitchen floor and then started crying. I turned on the TV really loudly to keep your secret, but I was so scared.” In a second, I felt like the whole world was collapsing in on me. Babbling? Crying? Wetting my pants? It was all too much to hear, and a deep and gnawing sensation started to take over in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want this to happen, but as I shifted again on the bed, I knew this was sadly no dream or illusion. I was indeed diapered and had likely done each horrifying task. “After that, I calmed myself down and then soothed your tears,” Penelope continued. “I brought you back up here wrapped in a towel and cleaned you off. I made sure that Mildred was able to distract all the Littles by reading them a story and then switching on the TV when she let them back down into the living room. A few asked questions and got freaked out a bit when they got scared. Honestly, if I was in their position, I couldn’t very well blame them for something like that. Lots of baggage and all, you know? For all they know, you could have gotten some rare disease from one of the people they had run away from or had been rescued from.” My mind was buzzing with all the possibilities this opportunity presented me with, but none were any good for my future. I felt it was too much to hope for something to bail me out of all this mess in a second and I cursed the Enilikas pills. I knew they were the root of the problem, but they were my own salvation so far. It just felt so unfair! I just wanted secrecy and to get better. ‘Was that really so bad?’ I mourned for the fate that seemed to befall my current circumstances, but I knew I had to refocus and ensure that everything had been taken care of. If Penelope was telling the truth, I hoped that everything could continue like it had been. It was small, but it was a sliver of hope I desperately clung onto. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell them or the rest of the staff about this? Could be a problem…” To my surprise and relief though, Penelope nodded. “I agree. It won’t be easy, but the Littles have enough on their plate, and if your blackout was only temporary, I don’t think there’s a reason to alert anyone else for now. For all we know, all this could be gone or significantly less next week with the proper use of Enilikas.” I breathed a sigh of relief… for about two seconds. “Wait!” There was one part of this cover-up plan that seemed to be missing, and I knew with a single slip-up, it could undo everything. “What about Jonathan, Mildred, Timmy, or Harry? I think they have to know. I mean… how can’t they? They saw me, right?” Penelope shook her head. “Don’t worry about them. I kept it all in the house and kept everyone tight-lipped through various means. Nothing illegal, but… let’s just say that Santa came early with a few of them, Mildred especially.” Penelope sighed. “Besides, if the Littles at least do tell anyone, they’re mentally fragile and young enough at this point that I doubt they even know what they were seeing. Even if they discover any of the evidence from earlier, I doubt they’ll truly know what to make of it other than that you were sick.” She then smirked. “Besides, even if they do find out or know something, who is going to believe or even trust a Little when they talk about what happened?” I nodded with relief over her logic. Mildred could still be a problem, but I felt some relief. Everything felt fine and I breathed a contented sigh as I tried to fathom the notion that I was actually wearing a diaper currently. Oddly, it didn’t feel bad… just soft and warm… comforting even. It wasn’t long though before I saw a grave look come over Penelope’s face. Having seen it for years, I knew it had to be something bad. “What? What is it?” Penelope was about to speak but I quickly stopped her to cover my bases. “And don’t try and lie to me, okay?” Penelope sighed and then nodded. “Very well. It’s just that… well, some of the staff and the Littles… they’re getting nervous… about a few things around here now.” I tried to search the deepest parts of my mind for what she was alluding to, but I just couldn’t make heads or tails of it. “I don’t understand. If you assured or bribed them about today, then why are they getting nervous? Has something else gone wrong?” For a moment, to my surprise, Penelope almost seemed annoyed at my question. “Miss G… they might not know the full story, but they know something is going on with you. Even before today, you’re just… you’re not there anyone… or at least not like you used to be.” She briefly walked away from my bed and then walked back seemingly with a firmer resolve to lay out the problems. “Before, you were firm but caring, smart but emotional. It shined in your work here with the Littles and as the boss to your staff. So, while you might have gotten better in some respects and have connected better to the Littles more than ever before, you’re just not the same. You…” she groaned and kicked the air around her. “Oh, I don’t know how to even say it!” I could tell that Penelope was trying to get at something, but I wasn’t seeing it. “I’m sorry… I just… I don’t understand… Is there something else you’re not telling me?” Penelope walked around the room again and I could practically feel the tension radiating off her body. When she returned, she looked at me with a pained and worried expression. “Miss G… we got a letter from the inspector’s office. We’re going to have an inspection in the next few months of our safehouse here. The Littles… the staff… with you, well… they think they’re going to shut down Safehouse 81…” I nearly wanted to puke on the spot. “What? They can’t do that!” It was one thing for me to be a problem, but I just couldn’t imagine the whole house being shuttered over the direction of my own life lately. They towed a party line, and that was logical to an extent, but for cases like ours with everything that had happened here recently, it just felt so unfair. Still, rules were rules, and I knew that if I wanted to save the safehouse, I knew I was going to have to work hard in the next few weeks to get everything back up to their standards. Already dreading the future now and thinking ahead, I knew several Littles under my roof might never leave. For perspective, even now, Timmy was a prime example of one who would have to be labeled as a ‘problematic Little’ if he was put into the main system now. I knew I couldn’t blame him for how he was, that was the fault of the testers in the facility he was rescued from, but I also knew that others would and that only led to one outcome for a Little. If Safehouse 81 closed, he would likely have nowhere decent to go. There were other places in the city he could try, but I knew that in all likelihood, in a week, he could be dead or taken in and forcibly regressed to a newborn level to be more ‘compliant.’ For the others, problematic but less so, even they would likely be institutionalized or homeless, starving, and reeking of old diapers. It was a pitiful experience and one I knew I had to prevent at all costs. For now, though, it was just too much for my stressed-out mind to handle. Blackout, diapers, and possible eviction were all overwhelming my sense of self and stability. “Shhh, shhh,” Penelope said as she tried her best to comfort me as she sat on my bed. “It’s okay. We won’t let that happen, right?” I had my doubts but leaning on her quick display of strength by my side, I nodded my head in a resolution to try and keep this place open… no matter what. The first step though was to figure out what would happen next with my own affairs. My old self could have righted the ship in days, but currently… I had my doubts already. Something had to be done. So, a few minutes later of preciously needed comfort later, I spoke first. “I think…” I sighed, not believing I was even considering this idea in the first place. “I think… I need to go back to Dr. Benson’s.” Penelope smiled and scooted closer to me on the bed. Without warning, she then gave me a huge hug and even began to rub my back. In an oddly calming way, I instantly felt that everything was going to be okay. “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” she said with a clear sign of relief in her voice. “It shows a lot of maturity and strength of character.” Now, it was her turn to pause and probe my own hesitations. “But you’re worried about something more, right?” I didn’t want to admit it to my friend and employee, but I knew after everything she had helped me with, she deserved the truth. So, I quickly nodded and felt ashamed and utterly terrified for not knowing the answer ahead of time. “I just… I’m scared of where all this is headed. I want to know, but I just don’t think I’ll ever get a full answer until something bad happens to me.” Penelope sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time and then took my hand firmly. “Miss G… I’m sure your blackout was downright terrifying, but I just couldn’t fathom if something like that happened to you in public. What would the media say? I mean, what would the whole world say if they found out?” “Buh… buh…” I couldn’t find my words. “But the bad people will take me away if I go back!” I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly so afraid and why my words seemed to come out all slurred-like, but my inner fear was still genuine. After all, even just earlier today, I had watched the PSA on Bigs with Little-like symptoms which had caused me to take more Enilikas in the first place. Considering everything, I felt I was caught in the middle of protecting myself and seeking treatment from the doctor. Penelope, seemingly at a loss for words, just pulled me into another tight and warm hug. This one was longer and seemed truly more genuine rather than a single check mark on a list of ways to comfort people. This time, I didn’t fight my feelings and leaned fully back into her. I wasn’t sure why, but right then, that hug felt like the most precious thing in the whole world to me. “It’s okay, Miss G. We’ve got this. Just you and me against whatever the heck you were dosed with that night.” It was a gratifying relief to hear those words. All at once, I no longer felt that I was battling whatever this was alone. She had helped me previously, but now, I felt I genuinely had someone on my side to quite literally hold my hand if it came to that. During that time, however, despite her hug and genuine words that seemingly touched my soul in an indescribable way, I still felt I was missing something else… something more that could comfort me in that moment. Looking across the man-made lake outside my window in the near distance, I saw what was happening there and I knew I shouldn’t, but I just couldn’t help but see the Littles couple with their caregivers. Even from this distance, I knew that each was happy and without a care in the word. Curiously, most of the Littles were with a Big as well and sported a stuffy of their own. It seemed perfectly natural, but that wasn’t the part the truly thrilled me and then made me frightened. The part that chilled me to my bones, despite the hug, was that now, I felt a sudden urge to go over and hug one of my pillows. In that moment, I wanted a stuffy of my own. Terrified of these strange new thoughts, I barreled back into Penelope’s hug and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I just hoped that if I hugged her for long enough, those scary thoughts would go away.