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    • Chapter Fifty Seven   John sat in his Fort Dogbreath, struggling to sit still as he listened to this absolutely awful woman be rude and snippy to his adoptive mother. She was so loud and condescending that he heard every word she said every step of the way through the house. The only cathartic thing John could think to do was to keep adding to his doodle of the horrid imp. So at first he just had a doodle of her holding Argo McDerpus out at arms length. Then he added horns to her head. Then he had leaned out of Fort Dogbreath to eye her before drawing a barbed tail on the evil Imp lady. It was around that time that John heard the LPS lady say that he needed to be moved to the playpen. So before he even heard Mommy approach, he stopped drawing and held up both arms. As she got him under the arms, she whispered “You’re listening?” While being carried to the playpen he whispered back “Hard not to, she’s louder than the dog.” Before she put him down, she asked “Hey, you know something?” He looked up at her with those glassy eyes as he asked “What?” With a kiss on the forehead, Amanda whispered “I Love you. What are you drawing?” John simply bit his lip. “John?” He looked away as he held up the drawing pad to show her his very unflattering doodle. She looked briefly like she wanted to laugh before saying “John, please … don’t … just flip to the next page when we come back through.” He simply nodded as he settled into the playpen, and back into his doodling to distract himself as Rupert was put next to him before she walked away. For the first time ever, he felt a bit safer being in the playpen where this awful woman wouldn’t come and bother him. With a smirk, John flipped the page over and quickly re-doodled the woman, this time adding a bump under her skirt to imply that she was wearing a diaper, the barbed tail had a pacifier hanging from a strap clipped to it. And while she was still holding Argo, he was swinging a folded diaper at her face. On a whim he added a little word bubble over her head reading ‘I’m allergic to being nice!’ The inspection of the house dragged on so long that he had enough time to press really hard and draw some of the background wall and ceiling. Somewhere along the way he had started to need to go in his diaper, but with it being almost halfway used, he held it in. The last thing he wanted was to need a change while this awful lady was here. Finally, he could hear that it was his turn to deal with her, so he put his pencils down and waited for Mommy to come and pick him up. Before carrying him to the table, she was whispering “It’ll be fine. You just need to answer her questions for a couple of minutes and then she’ll probably want to confirm things like we got rid of your body hair, and that you don’t have any rashes or anything. She just has to confirm that you aren’t being neglected. Can you be brave for me for a few minutes?” Taking it all in, he nodded and whispered back “Yes Ma’am.” As he was placed in the booster seat and buckled in, John couldn’t help making a face as the slightly swollen padding put pressure on his bladder and squeezed a bit of pee out of him. Off to a great start, this. As he looked up to see what was expected of him, John saw the woman simply holding out a cylinder with grooves on it, with a big ring going around the outside of it. “Take the ring off.” was all she said. Coldly. So, reaching out with both hands to take it from her, it was just big enough that he had to pin one end between his knees to stand it up and take a good look at it. It was a simple ring puzzle, where there were teeth on the ring that face inward, and you had to move the ring up or down while turning it. It looked a LOT like one of the 3D puzzles that he had been doing while he was in MeMaw’s lap. Identical, in fact. Mumbling “Huh. Okay.” John simply started. It took a moment to get the hang of having to grab the ring with both hands because it was obviously made for someone much bigger than himself, but once he had a good grip on the ring and the cylinder wedged between his thighs, he was able to work the ring patiently back and forth, and even back down at one spot, and he got the metal ring off after a couple of minutes. “Mm.” was all the lady said as she took the puzzle from him and slid his chair all the way up to the table. Reaching into the diaper bag, she then pulled out a box. A very familiar looking box. Once she opened the box with a wood block puzzle with 32 pieces in it and poured the pieces onto the table. This puzzle was identical to the wooden puzzle that MeMaw had brought. John didn’t even wait for her to tell him what to do, he just started putting it together. It took a single minute, since he remembered where everything went. “Mm.” was all he got as the puzzle was taken away from him. Next, she pulled a laminated piece of posterboard with some sentences on it, and a dry erase marker. At the top it said “Draw a line from the correct word to the sentence it belongs in” Looking at the sentences, John felt kind of insulted by the simplicity. Did this woman think he was a preschooler? With a deep breath and a sigh, John simply said “Mm.” and quickly drew lines with the awkwardly large marker from the words on the right to the sentence they belonged in. Having played the pipe game a lot, he made a show of routing the lines around one another so they didn’t touch. Twenty minutes into dealing with this woman and his bladder was starting to feel like it was going to explode, but he refused to let go until this woman left the house. After he finished the word puzzle, complete with embellishments, she made a weird motion with her head, almost like scoffing as she said: “Mm.” John couldn’t help himself, he looked up at her and said: “Mm?” Quizzically. She just stared down at him. He could feel the judgment in her gaze. Finally she said “I think we can take a break from this and do your physical examination, then.” “Uhhh….. My what?” John asked, entirely confused. But the Karen lady didn’t bother to explain anything to John. She simply unbuckled him from the booster seat, picked him up with no warning or consideration, and got her diaper bag. Somehow, being carried by this woman scared him. It was like her grip on his was too tight and he still felt like he was going to fall at the same time. He reached out toward his Mommy as they went past her, but all she could do was follow along. Being carried into the bedroom, John was placed sitting up on the changing table, and the large diaper bag was placed at the end of it, out of his reach. “What I am doing here is to inspect him for any bruises, scrapes, or inappropriate body hair. You may stand outside the room and wait.” Karen said not to John, but to Mommy standing in the doorway. As the woman reached for one of the buckles on his shortalls, John started scooting his butt back on the table, trying to get away from her while holding his hands over the buckles. He didn’t even make it back a single foot before she had grabbed both of his ankles in one hand and pulled him forward. With a quick swat to his left hand, the instant he pulled his hand away and shook it out of reflex, the buckle was undone. And the moment he reached for the unbuckled one, the other one was undone. The swat hadn’t hurt at all, it was just such a sudden movement that he reacted. Trying to protest, John said “I don’t want to be undressed by you!” a bit more loudly than he intended. Her glare shut him up. John stared up at her for a few seconds before he stammered out: “… please?” Quick as lightning, her hand flashed out, snagged his pacifier dangling off the clip of his shirt and the bulb was shoved into his mouth. He flailed for two or three seconds while the calming  Littles Powder on the bulb hit his tongue and quickly made its way into his bloodstream through some sort of Amazonian science. Within ten seconds of the pacifier that Mommy had covered in calming medicine being shoved into his mouth, his muscles all started to relax on their own and his entire posture softened. The result was that he immediately looked less defiant. Staring into his eyes for a moment, Karen finally nodded in satisfaction as she mumbled to herself. “At least you were properly pacy trained. She gets plenty of points for that.” And without bothering to say anything else to him like his involvement mattered in any way, Karen started pulling his shirt up and off. Feeling himself lifted and rotated while she looked at his front sides and back made him feel like he was some sort of doll being inspected for flaws. Nodding in approval, the woman then pivoted him down and let the foam bars of the changing table pin him in place. When she started to push his hands into the wrist straps, he tried to resist as hard as he could, but if his resistance caused her to have to push his arms any harder, you couldn't tell. Stopping with him now restrained, he saw her getting something out of the diaper bag below his feet. Producing a small notepad, the woman spoke softly to herself while she took notes. Occasionally she would lean and look at him like a piece of meat. “Subject appears intelligent, defiant. Properly pacy trained. Body hair properly removed. Subject appears to be scrawny, but fed well. I suspect emaciated when arriving in this dimension.” The note pad was put down above his head she took a moment to don some disposable gloves from her diaper bag. Even through the sedatives and calming agents, John found himself chewing on the pacy nervously as his diaper tapes were pulled and the diaper was laid open. As he saw the woman grab a wet wipe, he couldn’t help picking up his knees and pinning them together and tilting them away from her. Not really sure what he hoped to accomplish, he just hoped she wouldn’t start scrubbing his privates and would call Mommy back in. Apparently that effort was fruitless as the woman reached down and simply pushed a pressure point inside of one of his knees until he gave up and moved his legs back down. Going to work scrubbing him in his diaper area very thoroughly, she then started to tilt him this way and that. Apparently she was satisfied to find that he had no body hair on his legs and then she used a warm wet wipe to move his member to one side and then the other to confirm that there was no body hair. Much to Johns humiliation … his little friend began to respond to the attention in the most natural way. It started getting hard. Karen blinked. “Huh. I guess she hasn’t done anything about that.” Looking around the changing table, she asked herself “Where does she keep her spray … No matter.” Unzipping the front section of her diaper bag, she pulled out a small spray can and quickly sprayed up one side of his genitals and down the other. The instant the spray hit him he shivered as it felt cold. But then quickly didn’t feel at all. Not even numb, just … no feeling. Nodding in approval, Karen said “That will keep that thing under control for an hour or two.” as she put the can back. Trying to twist around to see what was happening did no good with the foam bar across his chest. Then while she was about to pull the diaper out from under him, she suddenly squeaked, and folded the front of the diaper back and started grabbing wet wipes to scrub her arm off, and then more wipes to scrub the changing table as all the pee he had been trying to hold in had no resistance when the numbing spray kicked in. Once she was done, Karen pulled her gloves off and picked her notepad back up while he lay there helplessly as his bladder emptied entirely of its own accord into the already slightly wet diaper loosely placed around him. John felt entirely demoralized. It only go worse as she mumbled as she wrote. “Subject is perfectly hairless, skin is free of marks. Defiance to being changed by unfamiliar grown ups.” Stopping to look at his diaper laid over him, she added to her notes “Subject also has no control over his penis.” And after a moment, added “… Which seems typical.” Apparently he was fully done after a minute, because she opened the diaper back up and set herself to changing him. She pulled out one of the thick overnight diapers, and looked at it like she was very obviously contemplating putting him in it. He could only imagine that she would cherish the thought of him not being able to even walk. But ultimately she got out a rough pup and popped it out with one hand before sliding it underneath him. After powdering him, she spent a moment getting everything lined up just right, pulled up high, and pushed down a bit while pulling the tapes in snug. When she was done the diaper he was wearing was so tight on him that the leg gathers were uncomfortable. He already knew he was going to waddle because of how tight this thing was, and sedatives or not, he was already grumpy about it. Once he was in a fresh rough, she spent a moment feeling his belly and sides. Almost as if to prove that she was not done with him, she pushed gently on his belly while getting a hand under his knees and pulling them up toward his chest and then gently rocking his lower body side to side like she was trying to work something out. After less than a minute, some gas escaped him in an involuntary fart. “Oh!” she said before addressing him directly like one would a baby “It looks like somebody’s Mommy is going to need to give them a suppository soon! Yes she will.” Even more embarrassment, but she didn’t care at all as she finally released his wrists and bumped something to make the bars pop back up. Half deciding to intentionally go limp, and half just emotionally dead after all of his humiliation, he didn’t help the woman put his shirt back onto him. Which did not phase her at all, as she threaded his limp arms through the holes in his shirt. She did not bother with his shortalls at all as she picked him up and got him against her chest. While she got her diaper bag, John wondered if he could somehow intentionally drool on her chest. Once they made it back to the living room, he was placed down in the playpen, where he simply crumpled and lay there staring through the mesh. The indifferent woman then turned to explain things to Mommy. “So you have done well to remove his body hair. His little friend stood up, I don’t know if you plan to do anything about that, but it’s not required like removing the body hair is. He was a bit defiant, but you seem to have pacy trained him well.” Mommy came over to the playpen and leaned down to pick him up and cradled him up against her chest. She gently stroked his hair as she tried to make sure he felt comforted. Which he definitely appreciated right now. He could hear the woman behind him further explaining things. “All that I would like to do from here is see if he has enough coordination to stand while doing a toddler level puzzle on the coffee table, and see if he can compose a couple of sentences in a meaningful way. He could feel Mommy nodding along above him. “Miss Taylor, I will admit that I do not believe that he has toddler level maturity in all ways, but as long as he can do these last simple tasks, he will manage to clear the goals enough. He certainly has the sass of a toddler down, but he’s not learned to just go in his diaper yet instead of trying to hold it.” With his head a bit clearer now, John looked up at Mommy, who was busy locking eyes with the LPS lady. With a slight huff he just let his head flop back against her chest. Within a couple of minutes, John found himself standing in front of the coffee table, and a notepad was placed in front of him. And next to that notepad was a crayon. A frickin’ crayon. John looked up at the two bigs before asking around the pacifier in his mouth “Penciww?” Mommy did not even hesitate to go get his small sketch pad and two pencils from his playpen and put them down in front of him. Looking up at the LPS lady expectantly, he pointed at the paper with the pencil and asked “Wha yoo wanf?” around the pacy. In a moment of frustration, he tried to push the pacy out with his tongue, with only made it grab his teeth in that weird ‘suddenly this bulb has all the friction’ way that it did. With a sigh, he sucked on the pacy while he listened to what the lady wanted. “I just need you to write me a few sentences. I want to see how literate you are.” She explained as if it weren’t some demeaning test. “Fine.” Was all he said as he leaned forward to write. Making sure to read out loud as he wrote, John started without even caring that the pacy was forcibly giving him a childish lisp: “My … name … is … John …  I … wive … wigh … my … Mommy Fhe … if … a … very … nice … perfon … and … I … wove … her We … have … a … dog … namef … Xerxef. And … he … if … preggy … awefome. We … have … a … squirrew … named … Fgeve. Fomehow … even … ghe … squirrew … if … a … begger … perfon … ghan …” But before John could even finish writing out an insult aimed at the mean woman, the door opened. There was no knock, the door simply opened. As John turned, he immediately saw MeMaw walk in with her purse on her left shoulder and a grocery bag in her left hand. John did not hesitate. The pencil in his hand went airborne as he immediately went as fast as he could across the living room, waddling because of how tight the stupid diaper was. Screw the inspection. Screw the inspector. Definitely screw the stupid invasive exam that left him feeling humiliated. In fact, in that moment, to hell with most of this dimension and their rules and expectations. John made it to MeMaw in time to be scooped up with one arm, waited for her to drop off the groceries and her purse on the counter, and was then scooted up into a GREAT BIG hug. As far as John was concerned, everyone would have to wait. MeMaw was here.
    • That's why Mom wants Sarah to come along.  Dad is mostly harmless and almost entirely useless.  He cooks a mean set of ribs, and access to the press box is pretty cool.
    • I really like the story
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