Ishigreensa

Yes, there is a sudden time skip in the middle of this chapter. I don't mark it, so be aware of it. I am also starting to show something about Cait... a little peek before you know what is going on... into who she might be and there is a little bit of a "I'm telling scene here" but I'll let you read that. Have fun with the new chapter. Chapter Five: I woke up on Friday morning, and looked around in the dark room. I could see by the light shade of the curtains that light from the sun was already trying to get in, and that it was waking up the outside world. I thought I even heard a bird chirping in the distance. I felt down around me even though I knew the answer. I had not really peed in the bed since I was potty trained. It was dry. I sighed and wasn’t sure what I could do. Bringing water from the bathroom would only make the man that is supposed to be daddy think I peed all over the floor when he told me to stay in bed and make a mess only in one place. If I didn’t pee, then I’d get in trouble for getting in Sorsche’s bed, because they wouldn’t hear that I never pee the bed, so if my bed is dry and sorsche is wet, then I must have done it, and it seemed I’d be a lot of trouble if that happened. I shivered. I pulled back the blankets and looked down at my blue pajama shorts trying to will myself to go, but just thinking to myself to pee wasn’t really working. It was hard to tell what time it was, but both Sorsche and Grainne were asleep. I usually had to go when I woke up, so I knew if I sat on the toilet, it would go, but if I did that, I’d get in trouble. I wanted to not be in trouble, but expecting to pee my pants in bed? I hate it here. I tried to ask my body to pee again as I opened my legs and stared at my shorts, but they wouldn’t darken. Water wouldn’t leak. I shivered knowing that if I didn’t think of something soon, I’d be caught dry, and then I didn’t know what would happen. With a heavy sigh, I went to the bathroom and closed and locked the door to give myself some time to think. I don’t really know if I did because of knowing something subconsciously, or if I just wanted a distraction, but I turned on the bathroom sink on a low trickle. I stared at the water. I wished I could make my body go on purpose. I watched it for several minutes, when I started to feel it pushing as though it could…. I hurried out of the bathroom pushing my hands between my leg, wanting to get to my bed before any leaked. If any went on the floor, I’d get in trouble. I got in bed, and got laid down on my back, but the urge subsided, and I blew air though frustrated cheeks! How could I have to go while in the bathroom standing at the sink, but it went away as soon as I was in bed? I turned to my stomach, and fluffed my pillow laying my head facing Sorsche. Sorsche will get in trouble if she gets caught wetting the bed. I will get in trouble I get caught dry, or if I get caught in her bed. I was scared after seeing how Sorsche limped down the stairs the day before, but I was having a hard time getting my body to do what I wanted. I had to do something. “Well,” I finally whispered to myself. “It looks like I am going to get in trouble no matter what. I can’t pee. Maybe if Sorsche peed, I can just stay in her bed, and when daddy sees, I’ll just say I got scared. If he sees pee all over both of us, then he will think I peed and Sorsche didn’t. At least one of us won’t be in trouble…. I sat up, wishing the pee would just come out, but it stayed inside. I shook my head as I tried to tell my body to pee again, but it ignored me. I wasn’t going to get it to pee, so I stood up, shaking, still a little scared of this plan. I didn’t know what daddy would do when he caught me peeing on Sorsche. I mean, it would be Sorsche doing it on me, but he wouldn’t know that, if this worked…. I thought I heard steps in the hall. My bedding was still dry and my pants were dry. Sorsche’s bed was only a couple of feet away. I tried to will my legs to move and to at the same time, I told my bladder, “Can’t you just pee?” My bladder ignored me. My feet felt frozen to the spot. I waited for our bedroom door to be opened, and get caught standing there, about to wet my pants, only the pee wouldn’t come out. I shivered. Then whatever I thought I heard, just disappeared. It wasn’t footsteps after all. I looked over at Sorsche’s bed again, and down at my dry shorts. Dad would be awake soon, and if poor Sorsche was wet, then we’d both be in trouble if I didn’t do something quickly. I wasn’t really sure why a ten year old peed the bed, but I knew I didn’t want to see her limping for no reason. I was going to get in trouble because I couldn’t get my bed wet. There was no reason for her to be in trouble, too. I shook as I took a step towards Sorsche’s bed. It was at that moment, I felt it trying to come again. I could go back to my bed and try to wet it again, but…. If it didn’t come out, it might be too late this time, and besides, I might chicken out of getting up and getting caught in Sorsche’s bed if I had to do it again. Even if I peed in her bed, they couldn’t tell if it was me or Sorsche or both, could they? They expected me to pee my pants, so I could just take the blame and Sorsche wouldn’t get it. I took another step towards her bed…. The feeling was right where it should be, if I were on the toilet. I looked back at my bed. But what if I didn’t go? It feels like it wants to though, and I was told I’d get it worse than Sorsche if I disobeyed. Would I be able to wet the bed? I looked at the door, listening to see if anyone was walking. No one was out there. I pushed slightly with my stomach. Nothing came out, but I felt a very hot pringing pressure right there. It could come out? Should I make sure before I just let both of us get in trouble? I tried to push a little bit again. I felt a little bit, the ever so slight trinkle drizzle into my panty. I ran to the cot on the floor and laid down. “Please… please… please. Come on! Come out before they open the door. Please!” I sat up, the pee not wanting to go while I laid there. I sighed. I pushed my hands into my lap while I sat with my legs crossed around each other. “Please!” I felt a little bit. I lifted my butt up, and tried to push forward on my stomach, hoping to somehow squeeze it out of my bladder. I kept pushing my hands down on my stomach, massaging it towards where it should come out. I felt a little drizzle. “Come on…,” I pleaded with my body not wanting to get caught doing it on purpose. I mean, they wanted me to do it on purpose, but I don’t think it would look good if I was trying that hard. They might think I was trying to get it to come out to hide something else. I don’t know. I scrunched up my face as tight as I could as I scrunched up my determination to get this done, and I pushed. I felt another little drizzle. Frustrated, I sat and relaxed, but as soon as I relaxed, I started to feel the warmth inside my panties getting wet. It was finally coming out, and I sat there, peeing on my bedding through my clothes, I don’t know how long. I finished by squirting several times into my panty, and then I looked towards the door. It was still closed. There were still no sounds. I laid in my puddle, as uncomfortable as it was, and I rolled to one side away from it, and I closed my eyes not really sure if I would be able to rest. It felt disgusting laying there, even after rolling sort of out of the pee, though there wasn’t much room on the small area I had to lay in, so I still had my thigh in some of the puddle. At least I wasn’t going to get in trouble, I hoped. Maybe Sorsche will be dry this morning…. The door opened after a while. I smelled extremely dirty and my pants were wet and sticky, and I couldn’t help rubbing my eyes to get the tears out of them. I knew that the man standing at the doorway didn’t care, or actually, expected me to have the bed all wet. “Are you awake, little girl?” he asked as if he didn’t know my name. I could only nod as I started to lift myself up to look at him. “You didn’t get into bed with Sorsche or go pee somewhere secret in the house, did you?” I shook my head. “I… I peed the bed,” I shook as I said it, half feeling like I was lying because I was awake when I peed in it. “Well, pull the blankets back then because there is nothing to hide if you didn’t disobey anyone.” I felt a heavy breath push through my stomach and out of my lungs as I pushed the blankets off of me and revealed a terribly orange-yellow soaking lake in the middle of my bedding, and my pajama pants were even stronger smelling and the morning air started to feel cool through the wet things. “Good girl,” Dan told me as he walked over and took me by the hand to get me out of the soaked bedding. I walked with him to Sorsche’s bed, and he pushed at Sorsche’s shoulder. She rocked back and forth as he pushed at her to wake up. “Get up, Lazy, unless you want to go to school today smelling like the dirty little pig you are.” Sorsche grunted a little in her sleep, her body fighting the waking world. “Did you hear me, you stupid little dog? I said to get up before I send you to school in your wet panties!” I shivered at how he was talking to her as he woke her. In the bed against the other wall, Grainne sat up. I glanced over there, not wanting to hear the things that Dan, my daddy? …was calling poor Sorsche. Sorsche was so nice to me last night and I wished I was just a little bigger, then I might have hit him or kicked him where I know boys hurt. But as small as I was, I doubted I could really hurt him and he’d just get mad and …. And I was scared. I heard her spring up to sitting, causing me to look back at her. “Well?” Dan frowned at her. “Let’s see! You pissed your pants, didn’t you?” Sorsche shook a bit as she pulled the blanket back. I honestly couldn’t see a wet spot in the bed or her clothes, but daddy’s jerky movements and his thunderous roar shook me as well as her as he pointed into the spot between her legs. “Get up! I see what you did!” I jumped. Sorsche shaking, got on her hands and knees and backed away from where he was pointing. I still didn’t see anything. “Just as I thought,” the man towered over Sorsche’s bed, and shaking, I didn’t realize he had dropped my hand to reach for his belt on his pants. “Please, I didn’t, Sorsche shook.” “I… I…,” I grabbed his hand and it shook as I reached for the belt. “It… I… I….” He paused and looked down at me. “You did what?” he asked. “I was in her bed yesterday,” I shook. “I was waiting for her for something, and I accidentally did it. See? It’s dry,” I reached shaking over towards the spot to show as if it was dry, though I still didn’t really see what he was looking at. He frowned. “Was Cait on your bed yesterday?” he demanded of Sorsche. “She was,” the voice of Grainne came from the other side of the room. “I was getting her some clean clothes, but I put her on Sorsche’s bed because it was still wet from the day before so she wouldn’t get anything else wet.” Dan looked at me, and then back to Grainne, who was his hand on his beltloops. “Alright then,” he finally backed away from Sorsche’s bed. “Either way, you slept in a pissy bed, so go get a bath and give Cait one.” Sorsche nodded and she took my hand and led me off to the bathroom without a word. We were in the gym having PE, playing with scooters, these square things you sit on that have wheels on the bottom, and experimenting with the different ways we can lay and sit on them and move them with our hands and feet…. “Okay, in pairs, one kid lays on the stomach on the scooter on the way down to the cone, then you change positions, and the other kid gets on the scooter, and the other kid pushes the kid on the scooter using their legs,” the PE coach had instructed us. I was put next to one of the more boisterous boys near the back, so he would be pushing me on the way back. I was a bit nervous about him pushing me too hard and making me fall off on purpose or something as I watched the others race to the other side of the gym, and after changing places, racing back. “You better not fall off,” the boy said to me frowning. I looked up at him, kind of scared to start something because he’d probably just push me down. The PE teacher was watching the race to see who’d win each time, so he wasn’t looking our way. “I… I won’t,” I whispered. “And you better run fast,” he whispered at me next. “I will.” “And… don’t pee your pants!” “What?” “Come on, Cait, the whole class knows you do it all the time. Don’t play dumb. I’m not sitting on the school after you pee on it, and I’m not touching your legs if you got pee dripping down them.” I sighed. “I don’t even have to go.” “You know what, switch,” he told me. “I don’t want to get on the scooter after you’ve been on it. You’ll make it stink.” I shrugged and looking down, let him push me in behind him in the line so that he would be on the scooter first. I had only started wetting consistently at school over the last two days because of being scared of going home dry. The last time I peed at school in my pants was at least a month or two before that. I guess that didn’t matter to bullies though. They would bring up anything they can humiliate you about, I supposed. Anyway, I didn’t have to pee in gym, so I was able to get back to class without anyone really paying much attention to what he had said to me in gym. Later, we were walking home, and Grainne and Sorsche were on either side of me. Sorsche was dry as a bone, and that made me smile. “You didn’t have anything at the nurse’s office?” Grainne asked me once we had gotten away from everyone else at the bus stop that was still a good walk from our house. I looked down. “I still peed my pants, though,” I told her. “But aren’t you even afraid that dad won’t find two pair of wet clothes? The last two days, you had two pair of wet clothes. One that we had to take from the school in a bag, and one that you came though the door wearing.” Sorsche put a hand on my shoulder. “Grainne don’t make it a bigger thing than it is.” “But what if mommy scolds her or worse tells daddy that she only seemed to wet on the way home?” “Well, I can talk to mom,” Sorsche said. “Mom understands my feelings, and I can tell her how embarrassing it is to get caught by your classmates, and maybe Cait just didn’t want to leave her seat and have everyone see what happened. Right, Cait?” I nodded as I looked between them. “I peed my pants in third grade all the time, remember?” Grainne looked down. “Yeah, I know.” “Sometimes, I didn’t have clothes from the nurse though. I tried to hide that I peed at my desk as much as I could from the others, and I’m sure that’s what Cait did today.” “This boy in PE said everyone knows I pee my pants,” I whimpered. “I didn’t want that to be true, but if everyone keeps seeing me go to the nurse for clean clothes, they’ll definitely believe him, so I…. I wore my wet pants and got really dirty at recess so no one could tell I had peed.” Grainne frowned. “That couldn’t have been comfortable being stuck in wet clothes all day.” I just looked down, though I agreed with her. By now, my pants were very itchy and cold, and I felt like I smelled badly having wet them twice and still wearing them. I couldn’t wait for Mary to send Sorsche to take me to change my dirty things. “Something I used to do sometimes in third grade…,” Sorsche leaned down as if telling me a secret. “…I used to sometimes go into the bathroom, and in the stall, I’d take my panty off and dip it in the clean toilet water before I sat on the toilet. I’d make sure to only get a little bit around the crotch wet, but not the whole thing, then eventually the wet would go through my pants if I was wearing pants so Dan would think….” “You peed…,” I finished her sentence with her. “So, maybe I can do the same thing?” Sorsche patted her shoulder. “Just make sure to wet the middle of them enough that it will leak in to your pants eventually when you are sitting,” she told me. “But don’t get them too wet on the back or front, so that way, it takes a while for anyone to notice.” “The other kids will still see wet pants, though,” I looked down wondering how it was much more help than just wetting myself and trying not to let anyone else see what I did. I mean, I hated the smell and the pee was more uncomfortable than water, I thought, but I didn’t want the other kids to know I was peeing at all. I was more worried about that than how comfortable it was to wear wet undies. “I’ll just wet my pants,” I whimpered up at them. “If my class sees wetness in my pants, then it doesn’t really solve them thinking I’m not potty trained, does it?” Sorsche breathed in heavily and then let it out slowly. She seemed to have been trying to say something I didn’t understand, but the way she had given that breath, I think she had given up on it. “Whatever you do, make sure mommy knows you peed your pants at school at least once, and you peed on the bus or on the way home at least once, or…,” Grainne’s voice faded off as we came upon our drive. Sorsche got the mail, and we started towards the house. “Do you need to pee right now?” Sorsche asked me as we approached the old shack of a place. “Kind of…,” I whispered. “Well, it won’t make any sense for me to take you potty this time, so maybe do it before we get in the house?” “So I gotta go in my pants?” I asked. Grainne and she both nodded at me, so I stopped for a moment to try to get it started. It didn’t matter if I peed outside or in the house, sometimes Sorsche and Grainne covered for me and I went to the bathroom when they could, but sometimes, they couldn’t cover for me, and I had to pee my pants. There was no way they could cover for me when I pooped, so I just continued pooping my pants. It was already March, and the air was still rather cold though the sun started to come up a little faster these days, or maybe it was my imagination…. “Alright, children,” I was at school at my desk, now pretty much used to just peeing at my seat. “We are going to have a special guest in the library,” our teacher told us. “He’s a famous author, and he’s going to be sharing a book with all of the first and second graders. Then, he’s going to challenge us.” I listened on the edge of my seat. I knew that Sorsche loved reading and she loved writing. Sometimes, she read books to me just before I’d fall asleep, and sometimes, she’s tell me what stories she was writing, but she seemed too nervous to actually read what she had written. “So, I need everyone of you to be on your best behavior today,” the teacher told us. I nodded with determination I’d do whatever anyone asked of me. “Cait, would you please come here?” he called at me as the last person got into line. I gulped. Why was I being called to him instead of being told to lineup? He stood me in front of him while the line waited quietly for us. “It’s very important you are honest with me right now, sweetie,” he said to me making get a little bit jittery in the stomach. My pants were wet, and I shivered. He dropped his voice so only the two of us could really hear what he was saying, but the other kids weren’t dumb. He was asking me if I peed my pants, and they knew it. “Sweetheart, do you need to try to go potty right now?” I shook my head looking down at my skirt which hit my soaking wet panties. “Did you already pee at your seat?” I nodded slowly, afraid I had been bad. I hoped he wasn’t going to tell me I couldn’t go with the class to meet this special person. “Well, if you are wet, we can’t have you going to meet someone special like that,” he said quietly to me. “So, when I take the class to the library, you will stand by the librarian for a moment, and then I’ll take you to the nurse.” “But I wanted to meet him,” I whimpered. “I know, honey. But you want him to think he’s meeting a big first grader, don’t you?” I nodded with a frown, tightening my lips. “Well, you need to get your undies changed, if the back of your skirt is wet, then your skirt, too. You don’t want to smell bad in front of someone special, do you?” I didn’t know how it mattered if I smelled bad in front of a stranger or if I smelled bad most days, but shook my head no because the teacher seemed to want me to say so. “We’ll just get you cleaned up a little bit, and then you can go to the library, okay?” I knew I wouldn’t be in the front if we did that, and I wondered if the special person would even see me, but I had no choice. I peed my pants just like everyone told me to do, and now, I was going to miss time with this special person that could help me get started with reading and writing like Sorsche. That’s what I thought. I got tears in my eyes. “Can’t I just sit in the back and listen anyway? I will probably pee my pants anyway, right?” “Honey, we can’t let you go in there like that. It’s rules not only for you kids, but us teachers, too. I’d get in trouble if I took you in front of a stranger in wet panties, honey.” “You would?” “Yes, sweetheart. Honestly, you should be potty trained by now, and the whole school knows it, but given your situation, we really couldn’t do much about you. Your mommy doesn’t have you anymore, the one that neglected to potty train you, so there is nothing we can legally do now.” I wanted to tell him I was potty trained. I sniffled. I didn’t want to miss the special person reading. Maybe I should tell the teacher that I’m wetting myself on purpose. I don’t know what would happen if I did though, and that thought caused me to shiver. We walked down to the library just as was planned, and then he started to take me to the nurse. “Excuse me,” I stopped in the hallway, looking down, sort of thinking that it was time someone knew that I could use the toilet. It was making me miss something really special to follow daddy’s rules to be wet at school all the time, and I still hadn’t really been hit, so I wasn’t sure if he was as dangerous as Grainne and Sorsche said he was. “Yes, sweetie?” “I didn’t have an accident,” I looked up at him. “Sweetheart, you said you peed your pants when I asked you. I know you don’t want to miss the special time, but the longer we take to get to the nurse, the more of it you will miss.” “It’s not even that,” I mumbled. “I already know I missed the special time. I’m not saying it because I think you’ll take me back to the library. I did pee my pants in the classroom.” “Okay, then what do you mean you didn’t have an accident?” he turned and squatted down by me. “I decided to pee my pants… um… on purpose.” He reached for my hands and drew me closer to him. “What do you mean you decide to do it on purpose, sweetheart?” “I mean, I did it—on purpose. I like peeing my pants.” He frowned. “You like …?” I looked down. I don’t know why I said I liked it. I don’t. But I didn’t really know what else to say about it. He wouldn’t believe me if I told him that Mary expects me to and that my sisters want me to because they think I’ll get in trouble if I don’t. He shook his head. “Sweetheart, you are nearly seven years old, aren’t you?” I shook my head. I shook a little as I whimpered up at him, not really answering, just more whining that he tried to understand me. “Cait, I don’t know any six or seven year old girls that like to just pee their pants on purpose. Now, I do know that over the years, I’ve had kids come in from recess wet because they didn’t want to miss playtime, but never has a kid said she wanted to pee her pants.” I shivered. “So…, that makes me bad?” He shook his head. “Come on, we still gotta go clean you up, miss. I don’t know what to do with what you just told me, but we’ll figure out something. Even if you are doing it because you like it, that can’t continue, sweetheart.” I looked down. I knew it had to continue. I couldn’t ever go home dry, and if they called the school and the nurse said I was dry, I was still scared about what dad would do. He did whip Sorsche pretty bad when she didn’t do what he said, whether it was he didn’t want her to wet the bed, or he wanted her to show that she actually pooped her pants at school when something happened. I was directed in to see the nurse, but as I was just put in a plastic chair to wait a few minutes instead of going straight back to the bed areas to be cleaned up—even though there were no sick kids being tended to or waiting—and the teacher took the nurse further back and whispered to her. I sat there, and started to pee my pants again. I had to go for a while. I didn’t want to get up though, and I was kind of scared I was in trouble, and getting up might make them mad at me since the teacher told me to sit, when he directed me to the chair. The pee started to drizzle on the floor, but they were still talking and not paying attention, so I thought it was safe enough, and I let it flood off of the chair. The nurse would be able to tell daddy I peed twice because of it, so daddy won’t think I lied about peeing today. However, the more I sat and relaxed, and the stronger my stream got, I should have realized it would draw their attention, and at the height of my peeing, the nurse looked over and saw me full blown peeing all over the seat and the floor. “Well, she’s just peed her pants again,” she told the teacher. “I better get this poor child in some clean clothes.” He nodded and left us so the nurse could take care of me. “Sweetie, you’ve been wetting your pants a lot more since January than you were the first half of the year. In four months, I think I can count on one hand, the number of times you peed. But since January, it’s been every day, mostly twice a day, and quite often, you’ve started pooping yourself.” I whimpered and looked down. “Your teacher thinks you are confused and you might even be getting picked on or something.” “Picked on?” I asked in my whimpering. The nurse was pulling off my soaking wet pants now. “Are there any older kids threatening you at the bathrooms causing you be scared to go by yourself?” she asked me. I shook my head no. “No? I just… I wanted to pee my pants. That’s all.” She frowned. “Sweetheart, I know that’s not it at all.” I looked up at her wondering how she could think it wasn’t when even she said I peed my pants more now than I used to. “You are always ashamed when you come in, and seemed scared of having done it. You don’t act like someone that even does it because you’d rather play than go potty. Something is wrong, sweetheart.” I shrugged. “But I pee at my desk all the time, where no one sees it. I just do it.” But my quivering lips, my wet eyes, and my quiet voice was probably telling her more than I wanted them to. “I know you do, honey. Your teacher has told me about that. So, I want you to know, if anyone is bullying you and keeping you from going to the toilet, you can come and get an adult. The kids being mean can’t make you pee your pants if you tell us who is doing it to you.” “It’s not kids,” I whispered. “I just want to. I… I guess I am kind of scared of some of the bigger kids. But they don’t bother me or say anything, and they are not even near the first grader’s toilets when I’m scared, so….” “Well, are there classmates or maybe a bunch of kids in other classes that thinks it’s funny or something to force you to do that?” I shook my head no. “The only ones that really see say it’s gross and don’t want to be friends, but they don’t touch me. They don’t want to touch me because I’m too dirty.” The nurse sighed and got my panties off of me. “Well, we need to get to the bottom of why you’d rather sit there and pee your pants if you are able to realize you should go, sweetheart. We should probably talk to your daddy about it.” “No?” I looked up at her. “I don’t want him to think I’m potty trained.” “You pee your pants at home, then?” “All the time. And I pee the bed, sometimes on purpose, too.” The nurse frowned. As she put me in some brown pants over a pair of dingy white panties that smelled like they were just washed, she rubbed my back. “I think you should talk to someone, sweetheart.” I frowned at her. “You know, talk to them about why you want to pee your pants and want your daddy to treat you like a two year old or something.” “I just do,” I frowned at her. “I know, sweetheart. But that’s concerning. I’m going to call in an expert that might be able to help you voice why you want to be two years old again, or if there is something else going on that might be causing this.” I sighed and went back to the plastic chairs I sat in to wait for her, and I saw the puddle on the floor and the soaked chair I had made. The nurse caught me before I could decide to sit in a clean chair, and put me in a clean chair, as if she was afraid I might do something else. I was just looking at the mess I made, and thinking how much trouble that must be that I made for someone. She then went to her desk and called first the janitor and just told him to bring a mop, but didn’t tell him why, and then she called another person on her multi-button phone, and I tried to listen in on who that might be. “Mr. Givens, we really need your help if you are not busy right now,” she had said into the phone, probably as soon as he picked up. “Yeah, I have a very confused little girl in my office that could really use a friend to talk to about some very personal issues she’s having. In five minutes? Thank you.” “Mr. Givens is a special friend at our school who helps kids with all kinds of social issues,” the nurse told me. “He won’t be mad at all. You just talk with him, and if you feel the need to wet your pants in his office, just tell him you’re wet. He won’t mind, sweetheart.” I nodded. This thin tall man with a bit of hair on his face around his ears and chin and then a moustache in a brown suit and a red tie on a white shirt walked into the nurse’s room, and he bent down, his hands on his knees as he looked into my eyes with his own blue ones, and he smiled. “Mr. Givens, young lady. Who might you be?” “Cait?” “Well, it seems you need a friend.” “I wanted to go to the library,” I looked up at him. “I know. Talking to new people can be scary,” he said as though trying to understand, only he didn’t. “No. I mean, there’s a special man in there teaching about reading and writing books, and I have to meet him. Please!” Mr. Givens frowned. “You are in third grade, aren’t you?” I whispered. “Yes sir?” “Well, how about this. I’ll take you to the library, but then you have to come and talk to me after you meet the man. Can you do that?” I nodded. He took me by the hand and walked me to the library, and we sat in the back in chairs at the tables where all the other first and second graders were on their butts in front of him, and even some third graders were in chairs in front of us. “You can sit on your knees,” Mr. Givens told me. “I’ll be the one in trouble with the librarian if she sees you with shoes in the chair. Go ahead.” I nodded and put my feet in the chair, so I could sit a little higher, more like you do when you are outside, and you are on your feet, but mostly relaxed and trying to look at something on the ground, only I was trying to look over other student’s head at the handsome man that was reading “The Very Busy Spider” to us. He was halfway through the book when we came in, and apparently, he had already read one book to everyone while I was with the nurse. He read the last book to us after that and then he started to talk about how reading is important for play and the imagination, and how reading will help us learn new things that we didn’t know before. I listened intently to him. Finally, he was wrapping up, and seemed to be ready to take questions. “So, let’s see who would like to ask a question…,” he looked around. “Excuse me,” Mr. Givens interrupted everyone. “I really need to talk to this first grader right here, but she wants so badly to meet him. Is it okay if we let her go first so I can do my job?” No one stopped us, and he smiled and me and gently nudge me forward. I shook as I felt like I had cut the line and went sheepishly up to the man, avoiding especially the big kids’ stares who would be in the right to hate me at this moment. I didn’t ask for this, but they didn’t either. I was being treated kind of special. “That girl is in my class,” I heard someone say to someone else as I passed. “She pees her pants all the time.” “Ew!” “Girls, quiet,” a teacher told them, and I couldn’t tell if the teacher heard exactly what they said. “What’s your name, young lady?” “That’s Cait,” someone in the front said. “She ….” “Sean, quiet,” my teacher yelled at him. “It’s Cait’s turn to talk to him. You’ll get a chance later.” “I’m Cait I said when I could see he was still waiting for me to talk to him. He turned me sideways in his lap, and he asked me. “So what do you want to know about reading or writing?” “Well, I was wondering. There are so many books out there about special places, and some of them are, not exactly what I’ve ever seen. Do people really just write about places they know or what they’ve seen?” He smiled and patted my back softly. “People write about what they dream, too. That’s what your imagination is for. While the places might not be real, and some of the creatures in books might not be real, in the end, a good book still has something about it that is real.” I looked up at him hanging on his every word. “Sometimes, you have feelings that are so big, that you can’t always explain what you want someone to get by using normal words and normal places and normal people, so sometimes, people make up monsters and special places to really emphasize the size of problems, the magnitude of something that impresses them, or the importance of a place to them. So, yes, basically, people do write about what they know. They write about what they see, though it’s not always what everyone else sees that looks at the same place, and yes, they hide the name of a city, a monster, or something else behind a pretend name because—even big people get scared that others might not agree with their feeling or image of a place, a problem, or a monster in their way.” I smiled. “So, if I write, could it help people understand my monsters and my places?” “I’d say it not only could it, but it would.” I nodded. “Okay, next?” and he lifted me off his legs. It was kind of like sitting on Santa Claus even though he wasn’t. It was special, and if I were to put him in a book of my own, that’s who he would be. He would be Santa Claus taking a vacation to help some kids at school.”

Well, you might have to squirm a bit before you start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. They are not even in the middle of the tunnel yet, to be honest.

I was planning on writing this Wednesday but apparently I can't work again today because of a sickness going around where I work. So... lucky you, you have chapter four, or not so lucky if you don't like the story. As the case may be. Chapter Four: Sorsche let me sit on the toilet to pee. “They think you peed all over the floor and your bed was soaked, so there’s no reason for them to think anything if you pee in the toilet, if you want.” I nodded and went to the bathroom like a seven year old is supposed to. Then she helped me into the warm water, and she started to wash me, kind of treating me like a baby the way she washed everywhere. “Um…, Sorsche?” I looked up at her as she was washing my chest. “Yes, Cait?” “I… I can do that.” “No,” she said. “I’ll get it if daddy thinks you missed anywhere, and you are little. He told me to clean you up, so I have to do it. I’m sorry.” I sighed and looked down. Why was this house so mixed up and why does this Dan guy even have to be my daddy? Why does Sorsche keep calling him daddy even if sometimes she is clear to Grainne that it’s Grainne’s daddy by the way she talks? Sorsche got me out of the bath, and then she dried me off good before drying herself off. “Wait here,” she told me. “I have to take you to the room. If daddy catches you trying to get dressed by yourself….” “…You’ll get hit,” I finished the sentence with her now understanding that she was afraid of messing up. “I get it,” I sighed. While she dressed me in the bedroom, she told me again, to make sure I understood. “If you don’t want to make daddy call you a liar and hit you for it, wet your pants at school. Don’t go potty at all, okay?” I looked up at her, not wanting to believe that she was still warning me, but I saw the look in her eyes. She really wanted me to pee my pants, and she was almost shaking as she told me, like something bad could happen to her, if I didn’t do it. I looked down. “Alright, I’ll just sit at my desk until it comes out. I’ve done that twice this year when the teacher was, well, I was afraid to tell the teacher.” She hugged me, and put me in a pink and blue striped shirt and a pair of black pants. “The black pants will make it less noticeable to your classmates that you peed if they catch you starting to wet.” I looked up at her. “I’m just saying, if you think you are getting ready to go to lunch, a special class, or something where you have to stand up, even though you can’t be safely using the toilet today, you won’t want your classmates to catch you soaking wet, right?” I nodded. It was really embarrassing the last time I peed my pants completely in front of everyone and they noticed because I had to stand up not long after to go to lunch. That was completely an accident though, and I was soaked before I could stand up. “If you can get your pee pee to do it, the best time to wet your pants at school is in music class near the beginning because she doesn’t usually make you stand up unless you are practicing a special song for the holiday program. Also, at school during class time, you should try to control your bladder during reading and math since you are moving around the classroom a lot during those times.” I nodded as I looked down. “Good. Now, if you poop your pants, and the teacher calls on you, just stay seated, and wait for the teacher to bend down to you. The teacher shouldn’t be mean if you whisper in his or her ear that you pottied your pants so no one else knows, and they will probably help you get to the nurse with less people noticing if they can, especially if you tell him or her you accidentally pooped. Even if you do it on purpose, tell them it was an accident. That’s what I do.” “You still poop in your pants at school?” I asked. She tightened her mouth, and nodded. “Like I said, I have to get something in my panties if something happens, and if I happen to need to poop, it embarrasses me a lot, and I do kind of get scared of the others noticing, but I’m a lot more scared of dad getting mad that he didn’t see any kind of mess in my panties, and thinking I had to have went in my pants.” I felt tears push to the front of my eyes, and yeah, it was because I realized I had to potty my pants, but it was also because this ten year old girl told me she was basically being forced to poop her pants in front of the whole class in order not to get in trouble at home, and getting in trouble at home was scarier than pooping her pants! I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. The two times I peed my pants at school, mommy was very nice to me, and told me accidents happen. Even the first time we came here, and I had an accident, she just hugged me and told it was too long a walk without a loo around for a kid my age. And she would never think I should just pee my pants at school. I shook my head. Why? We walked down to the kitchen, and the four of us school girls sat at the table eating cold cereal, toast, and drinking orange juice. I think Aoife was still asleep, and Mary went around the table checking on our clothes. She had Grainne stand up, and she helped her tuck her shirt in. She passed by Erinne where the girl gave her a face like you better not even try, and at Sorsche, she looked up at Dan, and with a sigh, she started in on her. “Stand up, Sorsche, baby.” She stood up. “I don’t want any trouble from you at school today, okay?” Mary talked to Sorsche, but mostly looking at Dan who seemed to be supervising this whole ordeal. “And I guess you made too much of a fuss at school during one of your classes?” Sorsche hung her head. “Well, I just had to…,” but then her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “… go to the bathroom.” Dan frowned at Sorsche as his booming voice accused her. “I didn’t see any wet panties your size in the laundry!” Why was Dan looking in the laundry? I thought Mary and Sorsche were doing the laundry. “I made it,” Sorsche looked up wet eyed at her mom. “The teacher finally let me go.” “But you made a scene and disturbed the class to do it?” Dan asked. “When we know you’re always wetting at school anyway?” Sorsche nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. He walked over and yanked her by the arm away from Mary, and they went upstairs. Mary continued to me, and had me stand up, and fixed my shirt again even though I knew it was tucked in because Sorsche did it for me before we came down. As she fixed me, she whispered to me. “Ignore the screaming. He’s not killing her,” Mary told me. “But let this be a lesson to you that you don’t want to be causing trouble at school. Understand?” I gulped and nodded. “She’s in trouble because she disturbed the class. I tried to hide it from him because I knew Sorsche just wanted to pee. She told me what happened, but your dad always seems to find out about misbehavior, and it seems the teacher told him she was playing around before she had to pee, so it was hard to tell if she had to go or not.” I shook because Sorsche was really screaming, and when she came down the stairs, she was limping. I looked up at Dan who had been putting his belt back through the loops of his pants. I shivered. I think I will do everything Sorsche told me to do now. Well, I’ll try not to pee so everyone sees, but I’m going to come home wet. I’m not going to the bathroom at all, that way I won’t have to ask and bother the teacher. The four of us going to school were loaded into the car. Dad had originally taken me into the office to re-register me, but the office people told him I could go ahead and go to class because I already had an assigned teacher, so I don’t know what daddy and the office talked about other than I was staying with him now. The first part of the day went pretty normally. I studied reading first for about from when the big hand was on the three and the small hand was on the eight until about the big hand was on the 9 and the small hand was on the nine. Then we had Music until the little hand was on the ten and the big hand was on the six. We had math after that until the big hand was on the four and the small hand was on the eleven, but when the big hand was on the eleven, and the small hand was on the one, I started to notice that my tummy wanted the toilet. I started to raise my hand to ask, but then for some reason, I saw Sorsche’s face, and her head shaking no in my mind. Then I remembered the conversation we had and remembered her screaming, so I put my hand down. “Cait?” the teacher called on me. “Yeah?” I looked up at the teacher. “You had a question?” “Um… no. I just…. I figured it out,” I lied. “Okay. Just remember, I’m here if you need help.” I nodded. As I sat working though, and felt the muscle in my bladder getting more excited and trying to tell me to raise my hand again, I also noticed that I felt a sensation in my back and a different part of my stomach. It didn’t hurt, but I knew, if I didn’t go to the bathroom, I was going to have an accident unlike I’d ever had since I was… well, except the time the other day when we walked too far, but at school? No. I can’t. I shook. I wondered if I could pee without letting that other out. I didn’t try to pee right away though. I was kind of scared if I did, I would forget and then make everyone laugh at me for pooping in the classroom. I shook a little bit. The teacher came over and took me by the hand and led me to the door of the class. “Sweetheart, go potty,” she told me. “You don’t want to pee pee your pants in front of everyone, again. Last time you did that, you were really upset, remember?” I nodded, but looking up at her, I gathered my courage. “I don’t want to go.” “Honey, you’re moving around a lot for not wanting to go.” I looked down. “Um…. I…. It’s just itching,” I lied. “Are you sure, honey?” I nodded. “Alright, Cait. You can take your seat then.” I walked back to my seat, and tried harder to keep my body from moving. I don’t know why I lied to the teacher, really. I mean, I know I’d be in trouble if Dan thought I was being bad, but I didn’t understand how pooping my pants wasn’t bad, but then he hit Sorsche really bad for just having to pee the day before at school. He didn’t even let her explain that she wasn’t playing, I don’t think. I continued in math class, still struggling to keep from going in my pants, but lunch was soon, and I didn’t want to get caught going in my pants while we were walking to lunch. The other kids wouldn’t understand. The teacher might not even understand since she told me I could go to the bathroom. We got sat down with our trays, and the others were talking with one other, everyone ignoring me as usual. They had been ignoring me at lunch ever since the second time I peed my pants around November, so I was kind of used to it. As I was eating, it started to get to be too much and I felt a little bit of pee go in my pants just before a bubble-like pressure pushed its way out of my butt causing a little bit of something that seemed to be at the door trying to push it open. I was about to do it. Somehow, I kept it coming out though for a little bit longer, and we kept eating until my table was nearly empty of first graders, and second graders were starting to come in. I thought I saw Grainne over in the lunch line. It was around that time, I felt some more pee push into my pants and a little bit of the yuck started to push past the gate into my butt cheeks. I was doing it. It was starting to slip. I tried harder to hold it though. I’d probably get caught doing it in the cafeteria. I had to get outside and find a private place to go, so I raised my hand. After recess, I lined up at the back of the line, an annoying lump sagging at my panties and making walking awkward as I moved. My pants were soaked. And I heard someone say something about the smell, but they didn’t say my name, at least not yet. As we walked into the room, the teacher stood at the door, and she put a hand on my shoulder as it was my turn to go in. “You wait here.” She was only gone for a moment and she came back and gave me a yellow pass. “Go see the nurse, honey. You’ve had another accident,” and she looked right at my pants, that were black. Sorsche said it would be harder to tell I peed, so I looked up at her and said, “No I didn’t.” “Honey,” she squatted down next to me. “You’ve pooped your pants. You can smell it, and you don’t want to go into the class like that. If you sit in your chair, it will eventually look like brown water and then everyone will know you pooped. Right now, everyone is just wandering about a strong fart, which I was ignoring until you came up to the door and I noticed how strong it was.” I looked down. “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. You’ve been having accidents off and on during the year, and your dad just told the school this morning that you weren’t really potty trained yet, which is why even though we only caught you a couple of times, you’d been coming home wet every day.” I looked down. “I know you were scared to admit it now, when I tried to send you to the toilet earlier. You were already wet and scared that everyone would know if you went to the bathroom, that’s why you lied to me, right? Or maybe you were already poopy going in your pants, but didn’t know how you’d get them down without making a mess?” I nodded not knowing what else to do or say. A tear fell down my cheek. “It’s okay, but go see the nurse so you can get some clean pants, okay?” I nodded and walked a shameful, red faced, burning, teary-eyed, baby step to the nurse’s office where I was lucky to see a nearly empty room. I showed the nurse the pass, tears still streaming down my face, and waited for her to scold me for going in my pants like she did last time. The nurse motioned for me to come to her, so I baby-stepped my way, kind of scared. I’d never pooped my pants at school before. “Your daddy says you are not potty trained,” the nurse told me. “Normally first graders are potty trained, and you are halfway through the year. But I guess you must have had some big problems in your little life?” I nodded, though the problems were all recent. “Well, don’t worry about it. I’m not going to scold you anymore, now I understand that the wetting is not purposeful trying to get out of class or get attention tactics.” “Do kids really do that?” I asked through my tears. “You’d be surprised what older kids have tried to get out of class. Normally you don’t see it in first graders, but I’ve also seen students get attitudes younger and younger…,” she stopped her self as if she was looking for the first time who she was talking to. “You know what, don’t worry about all that. Let’s just get you changed. Luckily, your daddy predicted you’d pee your pants today, and left you a change of clothes.” I nodded. That was the worst I felt in a long time, even after I had changed. The nurse thought it was just an accident because I am not really potty trained. I guess she doesn’t know that I feel it before it’s already about to come out. Anyway, somehow, I got through class without anyone laughing about me wearing new clothes, but then if they knew I peed, they had stopped laughing about that anyway. They weren’t interested lately if I peed my pants or not. Sorsche picked up Grainne first and then me. Blushing, I whimpered up at Sorsche. “I did it. We have to get my dirty stuff from the nurse.” She smiled and mouthed at me. “I did it, too.” Grainne hugged me and whispered. “It’s okay. Sorsche wets sometimes because of daddy, too. Just…. Keep it quiet. We don’t need to tell more people than already knows, okay?” I nodded. The nurse had washed out my panties, I guess, because when I got them, they were completely soaked inside a plastic bag, but the poop in them was missing, and there was probably a stain from it inside, but I didn’t check. It was yucky enough to have to hold a plastic bag of my messy clothes, but I was curious if the poop would be noticed when Mary went to get them, so I looked in the dark bag and saw. We were going through the kitchen, when Sorsche handed Mary her own bag with her clothes and I handed her mine. “Good girl,” she said to Sorsche. “I’m glad you didn’t play around, as your father calls it, and just peed. Good girl.” She got mine, and she patted my hip and cooed at me. “It’s okay, little one. You don’t have to worry. You are wet again, no doubt?” I frowned. “Sorsche, take Cait upstairs, both of you clean up a little bit, and then put your pajamas, okay?” “Cait will be wet before bed, though,” Sorsche said to her mom. “Oh, you are right,” she told her. “Actually, yeah, just put her in a long shirt and some panties for now.” “When Dan hit you this morning, did he tell you to potty your pants?” I asked Sorsche as she cleaned me. “Well, he didn’t say it like that,” Sorsche said. “But he said if he found out I was playing around again, needing to pee or not, and trying to get out of the lesson for no good reason, and peeing was a good reason, he’d give me worse tonight.” I frowned. “See why you need to pee your pants at school?” Sorsche told me. “He will get on you if he thinks you are playing around, and especially since both he and mom think you are not potty trained, he will not only get on you for being out of class for no reason, he’ll be making you tell him where you hid your messy clothes, and he’ll hit you until you produce something that you can’t or at least until you are so sore…. That, well, just pee your pants, okay?” I put my finger in my mouth moving my head up and down. She cleaned my butt, and she frowned. “Did you poop your pants?” I shook a little bit and whispered. “Yeah?” “It’s okay. It was bound to happen since you are not allowed to use the bathroom freely. I was just wondering because I went to wipe you, and some poop actually came out on the cloth, see?” I flinched away from the dirty cloth. “I’m sorry.” She smiled at me. “It’s not a big deal. I’ve pooped my pants before. You don’t have a choice, Cait.” She finished cleaning me up even though that meant she had to reach in my butt cheeks and clean it out some more. We were finally both of us, back downstairs, Sorsche in a long gown and me in just a shirt that barely covered my panties, and a pair of purple panties. Grainne scooted close to me while we were watching television. “I have a plan,” she whispered. “You don’t want to wet your pants at home on purpose, right?” I shrugged. “Well, what if I told you that your panties at least didn’t need to have pee in them, but mom would still see wet panties?” “I tried that the other night, remember?” “Yeah, except you tried to bring the water back to your bed because you need to pee the bed. You can’t do anything about the bed. You need to pee in your sleep or at least while you are lying down. I don’t have a way to help there, yet. But I’m talking about during the day. I have an idea.” “Okay?” “If I’m home, how about you tell me you want to go, and I’ll take you up. If I take you up, I can just tell mommy you peed your pants and I’m taking you to get you changed?” “Won’t she see there is no pee spot?” “Not if I pretend to have been cleaning it up when I tell her?” “Okay. I guess that might work, but then what?” “Well, you sit on the toilet and then give me your panties and I’ll get them wet in the sink. I can put them back on you and when you stand up, you pull your pants up, so they will get wet, and I’ll take you to the room to get some clean clothes, and when we put the dirty ones in the washing basket, mom will see they were wet.” “Okay. Why are you doing this, though?” “Why? What you should be asking, is why daddy expects you and Sorsche to pee and poop your pants all the time, and why mommy wants to believe you are not potty trained. I had an accident once at school last year, but that didn’t make mommy think I wasn’t potty trained. Daddy didn’t even care. He pretended nothing happened. But boy did Sorsche get in trouble when she came home in the third grade with dry pants. Daddy told her he knew she peed her pants, and told her to get them out. When she couldn’t… she got in big trouble.” I shook. “I can’t save you at school, though,” Grainne told me. “And you have to pee the bed, because I don’t want daddy to get mad at you, and I don’t want mommy to accuse you of peeing on Sorsche. I don’t like Sorsche getting in trouble when she does it, but if you do it in Sorsche’s bed, daddy and mommy both have told you not to do it, so you’ll get it bad.” I nodded. “I kind of want to pee,” I told Grainne. “Are you sure I shouldn’t just do it instead of you getting caught lying, too?” “Even if they catch me lying, I won’t get in trouble. And if they catch you on the toilet, I can tell mommy I made you sit there while I was washing my hands because I went to the bathroom, and they won’t even care because mommy knows I’m potty trained, and I can use it as an excuse that mommy doesn’t want you making puddles everywhere.” I nodded. “Okay.” She took me over and sat me on a kitchen chair, and then she got a cloth wet and told me to stand up, and she started to wipe the chair with it. She got the chair really wet while she wiped it, and then she looked at her mom who was watching TV before she wiped the wet cloth on the back of my panties getting them damp and partly on my shirt, too. “Mom, Cait’s peed,” she told. “Oh, um…, Sorsche, take Cait up to get cleaned up again.” Sorsche nodded and came into the kitchen, and then noticed that Grainne was putting back a wash cloth. “What’s going on?” Sorsche asked Grainne. “Cait doesn’t want to pee her pants,” Grainne whispered. “So I wet the back of Cait’s panty and her sleeping shirt at the bottom so mom will think she peed and I just wiped the chair so it looks like I cleaned it up.” “Well, that’s not going to work,” Sorsche told her. “When you pee, you always make a puddle on the floor, even when you sit in the chair.” “I didn’t when I peed in class last year,” Grainne told us. “That’s because you also went to the bathroom and finished in the toilet,” Sorsche reminded her. “The floor is all peed on,” Sorsche then said loudly so Mary heard. “Grainne go take Cait to the bathroom. I’ll deal with her in there in a minute.” Grainne nodded. “I’ll mop the floor,” Sorsche said loudly. “No, honey, don’t,” Mary started to get up. But Sorsche was already pouring water from a cup on the floor and spreading it with the mop especially under Cait’s chair. “Honey, you’re making a mess!” Sorsche looked down and that was the last thing I saw or heard as Grainne ushered me upstairs and to the bathroom where I sat on the toilet and handed her my panties so she could get them wet with water. “Don’t worry about Sorsche,” Grainne told me. “That’s just her mom, so she won’t be scolded for trying to help, as it were. Of course, she did that on purpose because she wanted to make it look like you really peed.” I nodded. I kind of felt some gratitude to the two. They might be letting Mary believe that I’m not potty trained, and letting daddy think I pee my pants all the time to keep me out of trouble, but they were trying to keep me out of trouble. Sorsche came up a few minutes later. “Mom’s mopping the mess I made, but Cait, get off the toilet if you’re done, and sit on the tub side. Grainne, sit on the toilet quickly, so when mom comes in, she’ll think you peed.” Grainne started peeing when she sat, so that made it seem even more real. Sorsche made sure I sat on my shirt where Grainne tried to wet it, and then she filled the tub before getting me up, and that’s when Mary came to the doorway. “Why are you in the bathroom, Sorsche?” “Well, Cait pooped her pants at school, and she just peed again, so I was thinking she needs a bath.” “Honey, she’s going to wet the bed,” Marry told her. “She gets a bath in the mornings, just like you do for a while. But… so we don’t waste the water…, Grainne, you can go ahead and take your bath and then put on your pajamas, okay?” Grainne nodded and Sorsche took me back to the bedroom to change my panties and to put me in another shirt. It was still too early for pajamas because if I peed again, I’d need to change.

I'm sorry. When life pulls me away from writing, I usually have a hard time coming back to a project. It's a weakness I have. I do have one complete story, but yeah, only one. I'll try to take another look at Sent Away again to see if I can get back into it. A few people have told me the same thing, about wanting to see me finish some stories. I'm sorry. I don't think this one is quite the same as the other stories. I'm still setting the scene as yet. We know a few things about Cait. Grainne and Sorsche's behavior in future chapters need to be well grounded in what is happening in the early chapters, or you might misunderstand Grainne later.

Fair, so I guess the hint I gave that made it hard for Cait to think she could go wasn't strong enough? Understood. I'll work on that the next time it comes up. I mean, I can't have her ask directly as that would destroy the confusion that Cait has, and the alibi that Mary or Dan have.

Well, it is slowly opening up why things are going bad for Cait. We haven't actually seen Cait at school yet, so we don't know why she's not asking teachers yet, or feels scared to, right? Or do you mean, if she can ask Mary, but if you remember in the second chapter, that was sort of answered at lunch time, at least as a start?

Chapter Three I felt tears starting to gather in my eyes, my heart ached, and I squirmed on the toilet knowing that if I didn’t, I’d probably really get in trouble, and I shook as I sat there, wondering why I was put here. Sorsche was staring at me, and rubbing my leg, and saying things like “It’s okay, baby.” Grainne looked on at us from the door, and mouthed something at Sorsche. “I know, Sorsche said. I’m trying to get her to,” her voice barely above a whisper back towards her. “Why don’t you go see where mom is, and make sure she’s not on her way up to check on us?” Grainne frowned but left us for a moment, the door still wide open. “Come on, Cait. You’ll get us both in trouble if mommy finds out I put you on the potty before she said we were potty training you. Just pee. If you don’t do it soon, I’ll have to take you off and just make you go in front of whoever sees it happen.” I shook as I looked down at my bare legs because the skirt was pushed out of the way. “Come on,” Sorsche whispered, trying to push me to go. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with dad, and I don’t know if he thinks you should be doing this or not. You’re a lot younger, so he probably won’t spank you for peeing, but he will if he thinks you are hiding you peed, and he thinks you are lying.” I gritted my teeth trying to get my bladder to do what she said. I didn’t want to get in trouble for lying, even though, I didn’t understand how this wasn’t lying. I’m not sure what you call this, but mommy will probably not be happy they made me do this. Would she be happy if she found out I was trying to pee my pants? Would she be mad at me for doing it, too? I started to breathe heavily and I felt my watery eyes start to spill down my face, as finally, a squirt went into my panty. “I peed a little,” I told her. “Can I just do the rest in the toilet?” “Honey, no. That little bit would not be enough for daddy to think you peed, and if he thinks you’re lying….” I felt my face heat up, and I shivered as I tried not to make a sound. Another squirt went into the toilet, then another, and finally I peed my pants. Sorsche squatted there the whole time holding my hand while I peed and finally helped me stand up, and she smiled at me. “Let’s hurry back to the bedroom. Put the skirt on. In the bedroom, you’ll sit on the skirt so we can show mama that you really peed, and then we’ll change your skirt.” “Okay,” I frowned. Sorsche took me into the room, and sat me in the middle of her bed where it was still kind of wet. “Just sit there for a few minutes until I find something for you, then you can climb off carefully so you don’t get wet all over. They can’t think you peed on my bed or you’ll really get it.” I nodded. As Sorsche finally found me a pair of shorts, she motioned for me to come off the bed and Grainne reappeared in the room. “Mom’s talking to dad right now,” she said. “I think dad’s going to drive mom and Cait to get Cait some clothes of her own. “Oh, okay. I better get her some panties then.” “Why?” Grainne asked. “Well, I was just going to leave her wet panties on so it would get her shorts slowly wet, then dad would think she peed and wouldn’t question if he didn’t see her wet later, but if they are taking her shopping, it would be too soon for Cait to pee. She might get scolded.” Grainne frowned. “Yeah, let me check the panties. I don’t want her to wet my favorite ones.” “Okay.” I was back downstairs in a pair of pink shorts and some clean panties underneath. “You peed on Sorsche last night?” daddy asked me. “I did,” I confirmed what Mary already told him. “Well, you don’t climb into other kids’ beds without permission from now on. You stay in your bed unless you are put in someone else’s bed by Mary or myself.” I nodded. “Alright, well, we need to go shopping,” and then he turned to the stairs. “Erinne! Come down here, please!” Erinne came down and I saw daddy present her with 10 pound. “I need you to watch Sorsche, Grainne, and Aoife while we are gone. Your sister, Grainne needs some extra panties and a couple of extra skirts because Cait peed on her clothes, and I need to get Cait some stuff that fits her right.” “Sure,” Erinne said. “I was going to make Sorsche clean her bed, if that’s alright with you. Because she peed the bed last night?” “Well, I found out that Cait was in the wrong bed, and she actually did that.” “Oh. So is she a baby, or are you going to spank her for it?” “I haven’t decided yet. Mary thinks she’s just not potty trained.” “Mary isn’t exactly….” “Erinne, please go inside before you say something I’ll spank you for,” Daddy warned her, but then I thought I saw a wink from him and a smirk from Erinne as she went back into the living room. Dad frowned at me and looked Mary over. “You’re sure she’s not potty trained?” “Well, she’s not been to the bathroom all day, have you, Cait?” My mouth dropped. I asked to go several times before I wet at lunch time. But she was right, that I wasn’t in the bathroom except once when Sorsche told me to pee my panty. I frowned. “No?” “And she pooped her pants last night, didn’t you Cait?” I shivered looking down. That one wasn’t Mary’s doing, but it wasn’t something I just did. I waited forever before it came out. “Cait?” Daddy asked. “I did,” I said in a low defeated voice. “Well, I guess we’ll have to start putting plastic down on any furniture she sits on so she doesn’t pee on it, and I don’t know, but if she’s not even potty trained for that, then I don’t suppose we can expect her to clean herself off when she poops herself.” Mary shook her head no and I was climbing into the back of the little four door car. “I suppose Sorsche can clean her up when she’s around,” daddy said. “At least that way, you don’t always have to worry about Cait. Aoife still needs your help sometimes.” Mary nodded. “Sorsche took her up this last time. That’s where they were just a minute ago.” “Did Sorsche change your pants?” daddy asked me. I nodded sadly. Mary held my hand kind of tightly, and we walked around here and there. The place we were shopping at, well, the clothes were clean and had a nice smell, but I wasn’t sure they were brand new. There was something just a little off about the way they were displayed. “I hope you didn’t pee again in the car,” Mary said. I looked up at her frowning. “If you did, we’ll just have to guess your size….” “I didn’t,” I protested. Daddy shook his head and asked Mary. “Why are you discussing this with her if she’s not potty trained? Just checked her!” He grabbed me by an arm, and pulled me over to where he was down into a squat, nearly pulling me over a knee and he checked. “She’s not wet,” he told Mary. “You can take her into a dressing stall and check what fits.” I was so shocked, that I still had my mouth open, and several people had passed us by as daddy had checked the outside of my shorts for any wetness! I was so embarrassed! I didn’t get any say at all about what I wanted in clothes. Daddy said we were getting me sensible things right now. “You can maybe get something nice after Christmas, or maybe Santa Claus will bring you a special sweater or something.” I didn’t argue. Then I started to realize, Erinne had been in really nice things the two times I had seen her, but Sorsche’s clothes, were, well, not exactly bad, but Erinne’s clothes were definitely cuter than Sorsche’s clothes. Even Grainne had nicer things than Sorsche. As we looked around and they filled the wobbly cart with this and that, I noticed the clothes they were getting me matched more like Sorsche’s vibes than Grainne’s or Erinne’s vibes, and I didn’t get a choice. Is this what they did to Sorsche? We had gotten a cartful of stuff that Mary tried on me, and then we went from that store to a nicer one, where they bought a brand new package of panties even though they got me panties at the other store, and then I remembered, they were getting Grainne some extra panties and a couple of skirts, and sure enough, we stopped by the skirts and Mary picked out some nice ones for her. As we were about to leave the second store, Mary sighed over at Dan, and I wasn’t sure if he was really my daddy or not. Why did I have not so good stuff? Why didn’t Sorsche? “Dan, it’s getting late. If you want Erinne, Grainne, and Aoife to get showers tonight, we probably shouldn’t delay dinner.” “Out with it, Mary. Are you just tired and don’t want to cook?” Mary bit her lip. “I mean, it is late, Dan.” “It is, isn’t it? I guess we can pick something up on the way home.” We came into the house, and we had chicken, potatoes, peas, corn, rolls, and macaroni from some nicer place where they could order it out to go. The chicken was in a big bucket that said it had 18 pieces. Mom told Erinne that she could organize us getting our hands washed to help out since she was already given ten pound. Erinne shrugged and she picked Aoife up and took her up first. “Sorsche, honey, please check on Cait. We’ve been out, so she probably needs changed again.” “Yes, mom.” After we were all ready at the table, Dan made us put our heads down, and he asked God to bless the food, he asked for everyone to have more patience, and asked for Mary and Erinne to get along better, and then he asked me not to cause trouble, but he said it all in a prayer. I wasn’t sure if God did those kinds of things, but I guess Dan thought he did? I was given two pieces of chicken like the other kids, except Erinne got three pieces. Mary only got two, and then Dan got three. Mary didn’t say anything and no one else said anything about it. I guess that’s just the way it was in the house. After dinner, Erinne took Aoife up to give her a bath while Sorsche and I were asked to clean the dishes. “Come on, Cait. I’ll show you what we are to do,” Sorsche told me. Before I knew it, I was in my cot for the night, and Sorsche was in her bed and Grainne was in hers. Grainne was the only one that had wet hair as evidence of having had a shower of all of us in the room that night. And I went to sleep. I woke up sometime in the night like the night before, and I looked over at the open doorway. I didn’t think Grainne had left it open when she came in, but it was open. I shook my head wondering who would leave it like that, but crept out of my warmer blankets and towards the door. Even the dim lights downstairs were off. I thought Dan and Mary must be a sleep, too. I didn’t want to wet my pants. I walked through the hall and to the bathroom, and started to sit on the toilet. Pee came out, and then I went back and started to get in bed, when I remembered, Mary was going to check my bed. She said if my bed wasn’t wet…. She was going to think I did it in someone else’s bed again. I snuck back to the bathroom and found a large sponge and got it wet and carried it back towards my bed with warm water in it. I pushed the sponge on my lap after I sat in the bed, and then I went back to sleep. Even if the bed was now wet, at least it wasn’t really pee. They probably won’t care and think it’s pee, so they won’t think I got into anyone else’s bed this time, and I went back to sleep. “Who tracked water all the way back to the bathroom?” I heard daddy yell pulling me out of my sleep. Shivering, I rolled over to my stomach and looked up at him and saw him pulling Sorsche out of her bed and checking her bed and her pants. She was dry. I shivered. “Was it you?” he asked me. “Did you pee all the way to the bathroom getting the hall floor wet all the way from your bed?” I felt my jaw quiver. He pulled the blankets off of me, and saw my wet bedding and my soaked pajamas. “Well? Did you pee on the floor after you were told to stay in bed since you are not potty trained?” I shook. “Daddy,” Grainne looked up at him. “Maybe she’s sort of kind of potty trained, and she’s trying to go potty?” Dan frowned and looked back at me. “Do you know when you have to pee pee?” he asked. I nodded. “Why don’t you go to the toilet like you are supposed to, then?” I didn’t know what to say to that. I shrugged. “Maybe she’s like Aoife,” Grainne tried to come to my rescue again. “Grainne, this is not between you and her and me. Instead of sticking your nose in other people’s business, why don’t start getting ready for school?” She nodded and climbed out of bed, not caring he was there, and started to strip off her pajamas. I mean, he was her daddy, and she and I are seven years old. It’s not like he’s a stranger or something. Dan pulled me up until I was on my feet, and he frowned at me. “You didn’t make it to the toilet, obviously,” he told me. “The trail goes all the way to the bathroom from your bed, but it doesn’t start in front of the toilet, so that means you never got to the toilet, did you?” I sighed not saying yes or no. “If you are not going to make it, then stay in bed. I don’t want you making messes all over the house. Do you hear me?” I nodded. “I mean it. You stay where you are if you are peeing in your pants, and leave a puddle in one place instead of everywhere. Then come and get someone so we know both the puddle and you need to be cleaned up.” I frowned and looked down, and said sadly, “Okay.” He hugged me and then he reached down and started to pull my shirt up. I looked up at him. “You need to get ready today,” he told me. “I have to take you to school so they are aware of the changes.” “Okay.” He pulled my shirt off of me, and then my pants and panties until I was naked. Looking over at Sorsche, he whispered. “You didn’t get a shower last night either, did you?” She shook her head no. “Go and run a bath for both of you. If you are late, I’ll take you to school since I have to take Cait anyway.” “Yes, sir.” Sorsche took my hand and walked naked out of our room to the bathroom with me. Daddy didn’t even give her any privacy. I guess it’s okay. He is taking care of all of us, but of everyone, Sorsche is least his, I think. “How did the floor get all wet?” Sorsche asked me when we were in the bathroom. “If you went pee in the bathroom, then there should have been a huge puddle somewhere where you gave up, but I didn’t see a puddle on our way into the bathroom.” “I… Please don’t tell.” “Just tell me what you did, okay? You of course know by now, that that trick, whatever you did, it didn’t work, right? Now, they are going to be watching you anytime you leave a room to see if you are leaving puddles on the floor.” I nodded. “I went in the toilet,” I told her. “But then I remembered, Mary said she’d be looking in my bed, and if it wasn’t wet, I’d be in trouble because of her thinking I peed in your bed again.” Sorsche sighed. “I know how hard this is,” she told her. “I’ve been living here for the last six years, and especially daddy is really strict. I get it that you don’t want to get in trouble, and you don’t want to pee your pants or the bed. But if you are not careful, you are going to get it worse for not doing it, than you would if you were my age and doing it.” I frowned up at her. “How do I convince Mary and daddy I’m potty trained?” “Well, first of all, you don’t. At least not yet. Just go ahead and let mommy see you pee your pants a couple of times without thought. It’s hard, but once you get to doing it, it will be easier as you get used to it.” “But I don’t want to get used to it.” “Well, you need to. If you don’t, it will cause you trouble later. You need to be able to do it, sometimes, even after you are considered potty trained by them, or you’ll get called a liar. My mom seems to be doing to you what your dad did to me, and he still does, sometimes.” “Oh.” “So, try to pee your pants at school today. I know it’s gross and scary, but seeing your dad or my mom on the war path will be a lot worse, trust me. Wet your pants at school.” I nodded. “I… I’ll try.” “Well, I’m not going to check you to see if you did,” she told me. “That’s between you and my mom if you get yourself in trouble when she thinks you are lying and hiding wet clothes in your desk or somewhere at school.” I shivered. “Your dad will probably tell the school that you pee your pants, so it shouldn’t surprise the teacher too much. If the other kids see, just don’t do anything. Ignore them if they talk about it. That’s what I do.” “You pee your pants at school, on purpose?” I asked. “Sometimes. It depends on if I think your dad expects it because of something happening. Like on a field trip, I definitely try to pee my pants at least twice if I can. If we have a fire drill, I try to pee my pants. It has to be a situation where holding it might be hard for someone maybe in first grade, then I do it, and your dad expects it. I don’t get in trouble for those reasons unless he finds me dry and thinks I’m lying.” I frowned. “So, if you do it on field trips….” “Well, you need to do it all the time, at least for a while,” Sorsche said. “You are still in first grade, so there is no way they are going to think you should be coming home dry.” I nodded. “The teachers are tricky anyway. Sometimes, I’m not sure when to ask. I guess I can just hold it until it comes out?” “As long as you are wet before the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter to your dad, and if my mom is treating you like your dad treats me, then my mom should be fine just seeing you come home wet. She probably won’t care to question why you did it or anything.” I nodded.

They had hellish workshouses, yes, much further in the past, maybe the 1920s, but it was even worse for the children who went to "orphanages" that were barely funded and had disgruntled people taking care of these "unwanted" children, and some people were nicer, but a lot of them had more than 12 kids at one time, and no real money or help to take care of them properly. If you were not white, no matter what you did against society pre 1970s, you were put in prison or even beaten to death with NO oversight what so ever. Recently, some of that was show cased that some people had thoughts like that, but they were at least scrutinized, and in many places, brought to justice.

Chapter Two: Mary, the mother of the house fed us all dinner that night, and then she walked me up to the bedroom that Grainne and Sorsche shared. I looked up at her, and wondered if she was putting me with Sorsche, but then I saw Sorsche making a spot on the floor with kind of a thick pad, a plastic sheet over it, a sheet around the plastic, three blankets, and then a couple of pillows. It was right between both of the beds. Dan still had not come home, the man that mommy says is my daddy, but I don’t think he wants anything to do with me. “This is temporary,” Mary told me as she squatted down to my side. “I don’t want to put you right with Sorsche just yet because I don’t want to make trouble for my own daughter. You are obviously not potty trained, and she gets it when she pees the bed, so this way, you can just wet the bed and Sorsche will not be blamed for your doings, okay?” I shrugged. There was no point in arguing that I was potty trained. I did go to the toilet once before dinner, but I don’t think Mary was paying attention, and if that was the case, then every time she saw me, I was wet. I’d just have to show her. I guess daddy showed up sometime after everyone was in bed, or at least all the kids were. I sat up in the strange bedding on the floor in the dark, and I looked around. I could hear the deep but soft breaths of the girls in the beds on either side of me, and then I clambered up to my feet. I didn’t know how late it was, but I suspected it had to be after midnight. I opened the partially open door and peeked into the dim lit hall balcony that looked over the living room. It was dark up where I was, and Mary and daddy were talking, so they didn’t notice me. I paused for only a moment before I went to the bathroom and used it. When I came back from using the bathroom, before going back to the room I was to sleep in, I heard a sudden loud shout from downstairs. “What do you mean, she’s upstairs?” Daddy asked. “I thought you were intent on stopping this!” “I was counting on you being there to support me,” Mary said her voice a few notches softer than his. “This girl is your mistake, not mine. We have a court order, and you agreed to the settlement, so I wasn’t going to go against a court order without you there to back me up!” “I left so you’d have time to explain why this was strange and why you wouldn’t want to look after the girl. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want to, and it makes us look….” “Better?” Mary cut him off. “It makes YOU look better. I’d be the one sending a child into the cold in the coldest part of winter. I’m not doing that, even if I don’t feel obligated to take care of her.” “Well, she’s in the house now, and it’s your fault,” daddy told her. “Don’t bring it up every time we disagree how she is in the house, because you are the one that allowed it, not me.” Mary’s lighter steps echoed away, though I could tell she was still stomping mad. I slipped into the bedroom before he came up. He was angry that I was here, so I had to be careful not to let him catch me listening in on their private words. I settled into bed, and I started to cry. I wanted my mommy. Being cold next to my mommy was better than how I felt right then. I wasn’t wanted, and people were yelling because of me, and I wondered if they were going to throw me out of the house the next day without my mommy knowing, and then I really wouldn’t know what to do. The next morning, I woke up with the sun flooding my bedding in light. The other two beds were empty, and one of them was wet. I crawled to the open door and looked out into the hall to see if it was clear. Maybe if I stayed out of the way, they wouldn’t throw me out of the house so at least mommy could find me. It seemed quiet as I looked down over the balcony hall and into the living room below. No one seemed to be there watching TV or doing anything. I walked silently down and into the kitchen. I was hungry. It was probably stealing, but I lived here, now, or at least for now, didn’t I? Surely, I could eat something. Mary was trying to feed Aoife some breakfast. The little girl had food all over her face, her hands, and some on her lap and some on the table. “Sit down, Cait,” Mary told me when she noticed I was standing there, looking in on her. “I’ll get you something to eat in a minute.” “Are you guys putting me out today?” I asked her. “Putting you out?” “I… I kind of heard you talking last night,” I admitted to her. “Your dad was just drunk and blowing off steam,” she scoffed. “He wouldn’t dare put you out after he agreed to this deal. He’s done wrong, and he knows it. Don’t worry, you are safe until the summer, at least.” I sat in the chair, kicking my legs. “Where is everyone else?” “They are at school, aren’t they, honey?” Mary smiled my way. “You have to have your address and other records changed, and your daddy insisted something else was more important this morning, so you’ll just have to stay home until he can get it done.” I nodded. She finally picked Aoife from the table wiping her face and hands with a towel. Aoife seemed happy to finally get the freedom to run to the living room and I saw some baby toys that she was now throwing this way and that making a mess. “You have oats this morning,” Mary told me. “It’s a little cold, but Erinne said you were too hard to wake up, so we just let you sleep.” I shrugged. She put some in a bowl for me, and then she put a little sugar on it. It was cold and didn’t taste the best, but I wasn’t going to complain. After hearing them fight last night, I wasn’t sure if she was telling me the truth. It sounded to me like she didn’t want me at the house a lot more than daddy didn’t want me there. “After you are done eating, I’ll take you upstairs and show you where to put your bedding up in the mornings, and change you into some clean clothes. I know your bedding and your pants have to be soaked by now.” I frowned. I wasn’t wet. She was going to get a surprise, but I decided not to say anything just now. She’d probably get mad at me or something if I argued with her. As the lady took my hand after breakfast and started to lead me upstairs to the room again, I asked her. “Sorsche and Grainne said I’m kind of Grainne’s twin, but I don’t know how that works when she’s in second grade and I’m in first,” I told her. Mary frowned for a moment. “Well, you aren’t twins because you are from two different mommies. Grainne is my child and your mommy is somewhere in town on the streets.” I nodded. “But you were born in the same year. Grainne was a spring baby and you were a fall baby. Your birthday is around Halloween?” “September twelfth,” I said. “Grainne was born April tenth.” I frowned. Only five months apart, I counted the months on my fingers. “So is Grainne a year and five months older than me?” “No, sweetie, just five months.” She put a hand on my back and whispered to me. “Lift your blankets so I can see how wet they are.” I nodded and bent down to pull them up. They were dry. “Little girl, where did you sleep last night?” “Right here.” “No, baby, you didn’t. You aren’t potty trained, and I will not have a liar in my house. Now tell me where you peed. I swear, if you peed somewhere else in the house and made a mess….” “I promise, I didn’t.” “You slept next to Sorsche, didn’t you? You pee in Sorsche’s bed?” I looked up into her eyes, and I could see that they looked angry, and she was hitting the back of one hand on the palm of the other. She was probably about to spank me. “Why don’t your clothes look wet. Tell me what you did, or so help me, you are going to get it.” “I… I slept by Sorsche so you wouldn’t know I peed the bed,” I fibbed scared that she would hit me for telling the truth because she thought I was lying. “Why aren’t your pants wet?” “I… I was scared I’d pee, so I took them off last night and put them back on when I got up this morning.” “Do you know what your daddy did to Sorsche because you peed on her?” I shook in fear and remorse. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her the fib, but she wasn’t going to believe the truth. “He hit her because she’s ten years old, and he thought she peed the bed. You owe my daughter an apology when she gets home, and a spanking.” I looked down. “But I…,” but it was too late, I already told her I peed in Sorsche’s bed. She would have me either way as lying even if she believed me this time. I stood closer so she could check the back of my pants. I knew she was checking to see if I pooped myself or something, but my pants weren’t wet. I wasn’t sure why she had to check for poop if I wasn’t wet. “You sleep in your own place wherever we put you from now on,” the woman said. “If you get one of the other children wet from getting in their beds without being put there by an adult, you will start getting spankings, do you hear me?” I nodded. “Good. I will be checking your bedding from now on to see if you obeyed me. I know you are not potty trained.” I kicked at the floor. How was I going to prove that I was? I shook with anger that she was basically calling me a baby without saying the word. Mommy did tell her I peed at school a couple of times, but that was different. It’s hard to tell when you have permission to ask at school. The woman changed my clothes even though I wasn’t wet though telling me that I had to be in different clothes daily so I didn’t wear dirty things. I just nodded, but I frowned at her as she said this. I don’t know what to do about her. Is she going to check me all the time? I bet even the three year old doesn’t wet herself all the time in the daytime. I hoped she wasn’t going to check me like she might the three year old. The woman took me to the bathroom though, and she didn’t even let me wash myself. She treated me just like a baby, washing me all over and making sure everywhere was clean. Then she dressed me like I was a baby, even more than Sorsche did the night before. Finally, I was in the living room, the only place Mary let me be without yelling at me. I wondered how I was going to get to the bathroom if Mary didn’t let me walk around the house. Could I ask her? “Play with me,” Aoife said bouncing her light brown curly hair as she nodded exaggeratedly at me. I nodded. There wasn’t really anything else to do. Mary had the television on some adult programming that wasn’t interesting at all. Aoife gave me a rattle and a stuffed dog to hold, and she held a stuffed rabbit. I started to put the rattle down, but Aoife came back and put it back in my hand again. I didn’t really know what to do with it. It didn’t interest me at all, but how do you tell a three year old that a rattle isn’t seven year old’s toy? Christmas was only about a week or so away by now. I knew that unless there really was a Santa Claus, I wouldn’t be getting anything this year. These people didn’t like me, and I had always suspected since I was about five, that mommy was buying all of my presents. I mean, why did she have to go to the stores so much at the end of November and the beginning of December if she wasn’t buying things. Decorations only took one trip. Plus, I never got what was on my list. Santa Claus makes the toys he delivers, or so they say, so he doesn’t depend on money, but mommy does. I noticed that this family’s tree was a little shabby like the trees my mom and I had over the last two years. Maybe they didn’t have much more money than my mom had before we were evicted. I don’t know why we were evicted so suddenly, but I just shook it out of mind. It didn’t help to think about it. Aoife got closer to the tree, and Mary noticed. She picked Aoife up and took her over where she was sitting and she motioned for me to come to her. Of course I did. I was a good girl that did what I was told. “If you two are playing together,” Mary started. “Who is older?” she asked me. I pointed at myself. “Should you be touching things on the tree?” Mary asked me. I shook my head no. “Why not?” “You might make it fall and break it?” I asked. “Yes, but even worse, if you break it, it could cut your foot,” she told me. “If you are playing with Aoife and she gets near the tree, you need to distract her and bring her back away from it. She’s three, so she doesn’t understand that she might cause something to fall and break.” I nodded. “Go play,” she patted my butt but not in a spanking sort of way, but just a sending me off way. I started to see if I could leave the room by walking towards the stairs, but that got shut down as soon as I put a foot on the bottom stair. “Cait, where are you going?” she asked me. “You said I could go play,” I said back in as low a voice as I could. I didn’t want her to think I was back talking her. “And you were playing, where, honey?” “Oh,” I blushed. “I just thought….” “Honey, I need to keep an eye on you so when you pee, I can change your pants.” I sighed. “Don’t you want me to use the toilet?” I asked. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you peeing all over the house. We both know you aren’t potty trained right now, and I think it’s important you get used to people before we start that stress.” I frowned. “Your mom told me how you keep peeing your pants at school, and Sorsche told me you had pooped your pants last night.” I just nodded. “It’s okay. Just come and get me after you’re wet, if you think about it, and I’ll change you, otherwise, I’ll just check on you from time to time.” “Are you still checking on Aoife?” I asked. “Sometimes, but she’s starting to tell me when she wants me to take her potty, so she’ll be potty trained before you are.” I frowned. “Have you asked Santa Claus for any presents yet?” Mary asked me changing the subject. “No. I’ve been busy because of everything that was happening, and we were on the streets for two months before I guess you said I could stay here.” “Well, maybe I can give you some paper and you can color some pictures for Santa to show him what kinds of presents you want,” Mary told me. It’s easier for Santa understand pictures than words from kids your age because little kids don’t really write that well.” I nodded. That made sense, and that meant there might still be a Santa. Maybe he just couldn’t read my writing. I knew I was the worst reader and the worst speller in my class, but I still didn’t know why mommy kept looking at stores if she wasn’t buying the presents. It’s not like she bought loads and loads of decorations every year. I didn’t tell Mary my suspicions though. I just sat at the table where she put me and started to draw pictures of things I’d like. I doubted I was getting any of them. Mommy wasn’t even able to live anywhere, so she had no money for presents, and it was too close to time for Santa for him to get a letter at the North Pole from here, even if he was real. Still, Mary wanted me to do this, and I told mommy I wouldn’t go against her. She had Aoife drawing next to me, though Aoife looked more like she was just looping lines of different colors on her paper. I knew Santa couldn’t make that out, if he couldn’t read my writing, because Aoife’s picture didn’t really look like she drew anything. I didn’t say anything though. I started to feel it in my stomach, and I wondered what Mary would do if told her I had to pee. I didn’t want to be bad, but it had to be more bad to pee my pants on purpose than to tell her something she didn’t expect? I’m seven years old. I couldn’t just pee on purpose, could I? I wiggled a little bit and looked over where Mary was encouraging Aoife. “What is it, honey?” the lady asked me. “I’m going to go pee,” I told her. “That’s okay,” she said. “Just finish your letter and I’ll clean you up. It’s not your fault, baby. Just be a good girl and finish your letter.” I frowned. If I told her I’m going to the toilet, would that be going against her? She told me to finish my letter. She said she was going to change me. I sighed and kept working on the drawings. I’d just try to hold it a little more. I think it was around noon, now. Mary was still doting on Aoife and watching and telling me to fill in all the squares she made for me to draw. As I got nervous about wetting my pants, I started to just make the outline shapes so I could finish faster, but Mary frowned when she noticed I wasn’t coloring them in. “Cait, baby, Santa won’t know what you mean by those shapes if you don’t color them in so he can see them properly. You don’t have to rush, sweetheart.” “I just really have to pee,” I told her again trying to tell her and hoping she got it, that I was potty trained. “Baby, I know your panties are already a little wet by now. It’s okay. I’ll change you in a bit, honey. I actually have to make lunch in a little bit, so I’ll change you after lunch. Do a good job on your letter and don’t worry about the pee pee.” I frowned. She really expected me to pee pee my pants even though I kept trying to tell her I was holding it. It was getting hard to hold it by now and I was wiggling a lot. The wiggles were starting not to work though, and it was going to be only moments before I peed if I didn’t run to the toilet, but Mary didn’t want me to go. “I’m going to pee my pants,” I told her as one last warning. “I know, baby,” she said. “I don’t expect you to do otherwise. Now, write your letter and I’ll change you after lunch.” It was pretty uncomfortable, and I guess I had her permission. It was really getting hard to keep it in, and my stomach hurt a little bit from holding it, so I let a little bit out, but my body tensed as soon as I felt my panties get a little bit on them. I’ve never peed on purpose before. Next to me, I heard a drizzling that fell to the wood floor, and then I saw Aoife, on her knees, scribbling color on her pad, and pee was pouring between her legs. She was peeing her pants. There was no reaction from Mary at all. Aoife didn’t cry or anything. She just kept coloring like it didn’t matter and in moments, I think she had finished. By this time, Mary was at the stove making something that smelled kind of good. It took a bit though, and little by little, the pressure overwhelmed my body until after squirting accidentally two more times in my pants, I started to pee fully in my pants. It was about that time, that Mary came to get things off the table for us to eat. “Mommy,” Aoife looked up at her. “I pee peed,” and she touched her wet pants. “Oh, honey, okay. Well, let’s get these things out of the way so I can put your food down for you, and then I’ll change you and Cait after lunch, okay?” Aoife nodded. I looked down because I was embarrassed, and even though she didn’t look mad and had said she expected me to…, still it kind of scared me to pee my pants. We had a grilled cheese and ham sandwich, tomato soup, and graham crackers to munch on, and she even gave me the same apple juice that she gave Aoife to drink. Aoife’s drink was in a cup with a lid, but mine was in a regular plastic glass. I sat there eating, the wet pants kind of making me itch a little bit and the wetness making me feel a little cooler and slimy, like I was dirty. I tried to brave through lunch though, and I did like the food. After lunch, just as she promised, she did pick up Aoife and then took my hand and walked us upstairs. She gave me a cloth with water on it to wipe myself and told me to take off my wet pants and meanwhile, she cleaned up Aoife. It was embarrassing to take off my soaked pants in front of her and Aoife, but it felt better to do that than to leave them on. I wouldn’t have really minded, really, if I hadn’t just sat at the table and peed them like I was two or three years old. I frowned and sighed and waited for the lady to take me back to the room I slept in, and she went through Grainne’s stuff again to find me something else to wear. “Don’t you use nappies or anything on Aoife?” I asked. “No, sweetheart. She doesn’t need them anymore. She still wets sometimes, but she’s learning to use the toilet, and I don’t really want to be washing out nappies or wasting money on store products anymore.” I nodded. “Okay.” It didn’t make sense to me though. If she used nappies, even on me because she thought I wasn’t potty trained, then she’d just be washing out basically panties, but because she didn’t have nappies at all, she had to wash all the clothes I peed in. I wished she’d just let me go to the bathroom though, then I wouldn’t pee in the clothes. She gave me a pair of dingy white panties and a green skirt to put on this time. The green skirt was a solid color. “When your dad gets back from wherever he went, I’ll get him to take us to town because we need to get you some other things to wear. You only came with what you had on, and if you keep wetting up Grainne’s clothes, she is going to run out of things to wear, too.” I nodded understanding what she was thinking. I really wanted her to know I was potty trained though. But if I wasn’t allowed to play out of her sight, and she didn’t let me just go to the bathroom, I wasn’t so sure I’d be dry while I was staying with daddy. I was allowed to watch some television while she put Aoife down for a nap after we were cleaned up, and I continued to play with Aoife’s toys because I had permission to touch them, and those were the only things in reach of where I was allowed right now to play with. A while later, the door in the kitchen slammed, and I heard voices. “Gherity is an idiot,” I heard someone say back there. “No, she isn’t,” I heard…, I think it was Sorsche. I knew Sorsche’s voice best of the kids because she was the one that basically took care of me all last night. I looked back over to the kitchen as the girls started to make their way to the stairs. “Sorsche,” Mary called to her daughter. “Cait and I need a little word with you, don’t we Cait?” I looked blankly up at her for a moment before I remembered that Mary thought I peed on Sorsche last night. Then, I looked down nodding. Sorsche came into the living room while Grainne and Erinne went upstairs still talking. “Well, Cait? Aren’t you going to say something to her?” I stood up shaking afraid that Sorsche would be mad at me if she thought I was the one that really got her in trouble, and I said in a very quiet voice. “I sorry I got cold and scared last night, and slept by you, and ….” Sorsche looked from me to Mary and then back at me. “I’m sorry I peed on you.” Sorsche opened and closed her mouth twice while I stood there apologizing to her my head hanging. “Don’t worry, Sorsche, I’ll talk to your father when he gets home. I can’t do anything about him already having spanked you this morning, but maybe you aren’t grounded for two weekends.” She nodded and lowered her head not telling Mary that I was apologizing for nothing, but at the same time, she didn’t exactly look happy either. Her face was kind of red, I think. “Why don’t you take Cait upstairs and check her. She’s peed her pants around lunch time, so I changed her then. She obviously needs to be checked on often.” Sorsche nodded and reached for my hand, and I walked upstairs with her. Erinne was talking to Grainne, standing in the doorway to their room where Sorsche pushed by her with me. “Say Excuse me,” Erinne scolded Sorsche. “That’s my bedroom doorway. It’s your fault you are blocking it and bothering Grainne while she’s trying to get her school clothes off.” “Whatever, Miss Pissy,” Erinne shot back and walked then walked away before Sorsche called her a jerk to her back. Sorsche sat on the edge of her nearly dry bed, by now, and she pulled me closer to her. “Why’d you tell mom you peed in my bed last night?” she asked me. “Well…, she was getting mad because she couldn’t see where I peed, and I got scared, and knew that you peed because your bed was wet this morning, so I… I just said I did.” “Where did you pee then, in the night? Or did you just wet your pants in the morning after you woke up?” she asked me as she felt between my legs. “I… I don’t know,” I said not sure if I should tell her I went to the bathroom. “Does it matter?” Grainne asked. “Yeah, it does,” Sorsche said. “If there is a puddle somewhere, and dad finds it, either she or I will get another beating for peeing all over the house, and since he knows I only wet the bed…, well, it’s no guarantee though. I could still be accused and hit for that.” Grainne frowned. “He always acts like perfect princess Erinne doesn’t do anything wrong, and he’s always picking on you for the littlest things. So you peed in your sleep last night, does it really hurt anyone else but you?” Sorsche sighed. “Talking about your dad like that isn’t going to help things, Grainne. Just do me a favor and get some panties and an other skirt for Cait for me. Even if she’s not wet right now, mom told me to check on her, so I’m not going to bring her back down in the same clothes.” “But she’ll think I peed my pants,” I protested. “She already thinks that, Cait, or she wouldn’t have told me to take you up and change you.” I nodded. I kind of had to pee, so I asked. “Can you at least take me to the toilet so I don’t have to do it for real?” She frowned. “So, you don’t really pee your pants all the time? Are you potty trained?” I gulped. “I sometimes pee at school, but usually I go to the bathroom.” She sighed. “I’ll tell you what, we can go to the bathroom and sit you on the toilet, but mom will probably get mad if your panties don’t get wet before bed, so just pee through the panties. You can take the skirt off until you do.” I frowned. “I don’t want to pee the panties.” Sorsche hugged me and whispered, “I know. But mom thinks you pee your pants all the time, and she might be nicer about it, but if Dave finds out you had dry panties all night, and he thinks you pee your pants all the time, he’s going to probably hit you and demand you show him a wet spot that doesn’t exist.” I shook. “So, daddy expects my panties to be wet?” She nodded. “Not only that, but he will think you are lying and hiding it if he doesn’t see any wet panties.” “How do you know that?” I asked. Grainne was the one to answer that as Sorsche got red and quiet. “Daddy sometimes accuses Sorsche of peeing her pants, and if he can’t find her in wet clothes, or where she put her wet clothes, or something, then he demands her to show him, and the longer she holds out showing him, the more he yells until he sometimes hits her for lying.” “But Sorsche is potty trained, at least in the day,” I whispered. Both Grainne and Sorsche nodded. “Why does he think she pees her pants then?” “Well, he doesn’t accuse her all the time. It’s like if she’s really late getting home or something else that causes him to think she didn’t have a toilet to get to, then he checks her and expects her to be wet.” “I just pee my pants if I know I’m coming home a bit late from school because it’s easier to show him I’m wet then what he does if he thinks I’ve hidden it.” I shook my head. “Will daddy think I’m hiding it if my bedding isn’t wet at night?” “That’s hard to tell,” Grainne told me. “You’re kind of his, so he might believe you, but he doesn’t seem happy you are here, so he might treat you more like Sorsche. I’m not really sure, yet, because I haven’t see daddy around you yet.” “Just pee the panties,” Sorsche told me. “Trust me, you’ll be in a lot less trouble if you peed your panties than you will if daddy doesn’t find wet panties, and thinks you are lying about it.” I nodded and took a deep breath before I started to try to coax my body into peeing through my panties into the toilet. The United States did too! But the United States had rather offensive words for a lot more than just that. in the 60s and 70s, it was normal to call Black Americans a very offensive word that wouldn't really disappear from civil tongues until the end of the 1980s. Even then, I said civil tongues. It wasn't really until the mid 1990s that that word was frowned upon even when not in entirely civil situations. And on occasion, even today, you'll hear it in fights. We had words for Mexicans as well, that was not quite as offensive as the one used for Black Americans, but still was offensive just the same. And we had words for other races other than white. We had words for the poor, or for people that didn't go to church, and for people that society just didn't approve of. Honestly, today, we are still making offensive words for things that the majority of society doesn't agree with, so really the practice isn't dying, it's just changing on who they use it on.

Not telling anyone yet.

Yes, sort of.... The exact year will be ambiguous for a bit because right now, I'm just setting the scene.

This story starts out in Ireland. Cait and Grainne, I know are 2 of the character's names, as well Sioban is an unimportant character in Cait's class from the movie: The Quiet Girl, but the story will not stay in Ireland, but I hush right there before I give too much away.

You might be in for a rude twist as the story unfolds, but we'll see.

First of all, yes, a lot of this wouldn’t make sense in the real world. I understand that. Likely Cait would have been taken the minute mom went to the attorney and admitted they were on the streets, and he would likely be in prison or at least have gone to trial for prison. So, yes, I’m asking you to suspend your disbelief that far…. Grainne, Cait, and Sorsche Ishigreen I remember walking up the winding dirt road for the first time and seeing a small house surrounded by a large land and two vehicles in the yard. One was a rusty old green pickup, and one was a small four door purple tinted brown car. My mom had me by my hand, and I wore a dirty and torn brown skirt and a red sweater. I had looked up at my mom several times in the what seemed like a three hour walk to this place, and I told her I had to use the restroom, but she just smiled and told me “soon.” Pee slid down my legs and splattered the ground as my mom pushed her hair back trying to tame it somewhat before raising a hand to knock on the old paint chipped door. She said nothing about the pee hitting the ground though. A dark hair woman came to the door carrying a small child on her hip. She looked down at me a moment, and I crossed my legs nervously because I knew she saw the puddle on the ground. Then she looked up at my mother frowning. “Whatever you are selling, we aren’t buying,” she told my mom. “I’m not selling anything,” my mom looked down and put a hand on my shoulder. “Is Dan here?” “What do you have to do with him?” the woman narrowed her eyes. “Well, this is his daughter,” my mom said a little quietly. “That’s impossible. He’s been with me for a long while now, and there is no way he has a daughter that big.” “Well, he does. And I need to discuss this with him.” “He’s out right now, so maybe you should just come back.” “When?” “Later,” the woman told my mom shortly. “Look, he’s out of the house right now, and he won’t be back for a while.” “Well, if I could just have a time?” “And I told you, later. I don’t know what time he’ll be back. He’ll get here when he gets here. Now leave. You need to clean up your disgusting kid anyway. How old is she anyway? About seven?” “Six,” my mom said in a small voice. “And she’s not disgusting. It was nearly a three hour walk from town to get here, so she just didn’t have a place to pee.” “Whatever. She still needs a bath, and I wouldn’t be showing my kids off to someone in that state. What kind of a mother are you?” My mom sighed and turned and took my hand to leave the unfriendly woman standing there, watching us go. “I’m sorry, mommy,” I said sadly. “It’s alright. It’s not your fault, baby. That woman is just ridiculous thinking a six year old should be able to wait more than three hours before tinkling on herself. I’m sorry it took it took so long to get here.” “Are we going all the way back to our house?” I looked up at mommy. She looked kind of sad. “No, honey. We are just going to wait at the end of the road off of their property. We can’t go back to that house. We’ve been evicted, and that’s why you have to meet your daddy.” I shivered. There was something that made it feel that something was final in her words. “It’s okay if you potty your pants again,” she told me. “I don’t know how long we will be waiting.” Sometime later, it was nearing dark, a man was let out of a car, and he started to walk past us towards his gate. My mom stood up and hurried me to catch up with him. “Dan!” The man turned to look at us. “Sioban! What are you doing here?” “Looking for you, actually.” “Look, I told you nearly seven years ago, I’m not leaving my wife.” “I’m not asking you to do that.” “Then what do you want, and who is this?” “This is your daughter, Cait.” “You never said I had a daughter by you, and anyway, I never had a choice on whether you kept her, so she has nothing to do with me.” “She is your daughter, and if you throw her away, she’ll end up on the streets, which is where I’m going from today.” “I don’t really care, Sioban. It’s none of my business if you threw your life away looking for anyone that would take you in a for a short while and doing whatever instead of improving your situation!” “Look, this isn’t about me. I’m not asking for help for me. I’m asking you to take your daughter and protect her!” “And I told you, just because we fucked, it doesn’t mean she’s my daughter.” “If you don’t take her in, I’ll go to the papers and tell everyone the story of a deadbeat.” “Go ahead and do that. It won’t bother me at all.” “What if I sue you for child support and backpay for child support, money you should have been giving me for her in the first place.” “You wouldn’t dare. Besides, by the looks of things, I doubt you have that kind of money for a lawyer. Now get lost!” Mommy hugged me close. “Don’t worry, Cait. I won’t let you end up in the foster system nor on the streets. We’ll get him to take you.” “But I want to stay with you, mommy!” “I know, honey, but until I get on my feet again, it’s safer for you to stay with him.” I still attended first grade, and mom kept me as clean as she could for a few more days while she worked on how to get this Dan to take me in. I knew I wasn’t as clean as the other kids though, and so I tried to stay to myself so I wouldn’t cause any trouble. I didn’t raise my hand or draw attention to myself. I was already sad and scared that I wouldn’t be able to stay with mommy much longer, and mommy had told me that even if this Dan didn’t take me in, that eventually the government would take me away if they learned I was sleeping at parks and other unsafe places. Somehow, we got through about a month, and mom went before a criminal lawyer. I don’t know why we went to them, but she looked down with tears in her eyes, and she proved her age to them. She was only sixteen years old when she had me. “I know what he did was wrong,” mommy was telling this attorney. “But I don’t want him arrested. I want him to just man up and take his kid because she has nowhere else to go and the last thing I want is for her to be abandoned in the system.” “Are you sure you can trust him to take care of her if we put the child with him?” Mr. Grandall asked my mom. “I know he will if you can just write him a letter and let him know that his choice is clear, that if he doesn’t take care of her, I’ll take him to criminal court.” The attorney smiled. “Kind of ruthless, aren’t you?” “I have to be,” she told him. “I’m on the streets, and I don’t want my child growing up in the system or on the streets. Dan has at least a roof over his head, and he has two cars, so he can take care of her.” “I can probably get child support from him if we take him to court and make him take a parental DNA test.” “No. I don’t want anything from him other than for him to take responsibility for Cait, at least until I can get back on my feet.” The attorney shook his head, but started to take down all the information mom had for him. I was too nervous to interrupt them, so I started peeing in the chair I was in. I couldn’t hold it anymore even though I wiggled like crazy to try to keep it inside. It was December, and I had been on the streets long enough to understand why mommy didn’t want me on the streets with her. It was cold. I couldn’t always find a toilet in time, even when I wasn’t too nervous to speak up, and we had no showers or baths or anything. When it snowed, the best my mom could do, is put these tattered blankets over me, and take me somewhere warm to eventually get my wet pants changed for clean ones, and then bundle me up again, some places wouldn’t even let us use their restrooms. We walked along the snow covered ground back down the old road we walked on nearly two months ago, and we came to the drive that led to my daddy’s house. I looked up at my mom. “We don’t have a choice, sweetie,” Mom told me. “It’s only going to get colder, and the lawyer said your daddy settled. He said he’d take you in.” I frowned and felt tears welling in my eyes for the tenth time that day. “I don’t think daddy wants me, though,” I told mommy. “I know he doesn’t think he wants you right now. Once he gets used to you, though, you’ll be part of his family. It shouldn’t take any time at all. You are so sweet, little one.” I smiled up at her, though the tears were still welling in my eyes. “Mommy will be back for you as soon as I can get on my feet, honey. Now I know you have a safe place to stay for the rest of the winter, I can focus on finding work and getting a place for us again.” I nodded. We walked up the dirt drive, but it was a long walk, and I couldn’t help it. I started to poop my pants this time, but I tried really hard not to let it out, and when it started, I tried really hard not to let it just come, but tried to keep it inside as long as I could even if a little bit came out. Mommy knocked on the paint chipped old door, and stood there, waiting. The door opened, and I saw that same dark hair woman look from mommy down to me, and I was covered in two blankets over my clothes. The blanket was long and drug on the ground. There wasn’t enough of the ground under me visible for her to see a puddle, but I was still pooping, so the pee didn’t start coming out yet. There wouldn’t have been a puddle yet. “We got the letter from an attorney,” the woman said. “The first thing we are going to do is take a parental test to see if he really is the father.” My mom nodded. “If you wish, you can do that, but you will see that he is her father.” “We are just keeping her until you get back on your feet, then?” “That’s all,” my mom said. I bit at my lip, nervous because I felt a little bit more push into my panties. “And how long do you think that will take?” the woman asked my mom. “I’m hoping to have her back by the summer,” mommy said. “Look, Dan did admit to having an affair. It’s upsetting he left me many times when I was pregnant to drink and stuff, but now, I find out he was seeing another woman while I was pregnant?” the woman said. “I didn’t mean to be heartless the last time you were here. I was just shocked and I guess mad at you because you are the one he cheated on me with, then we get this letter and find out you were only sixteen at the time?” My mom looked down. “I can see how that would upset anyone. I’m really sorry. I was a dumb teenager, and he made promises.” “I know,” the lady said. I pushed some more poop into my panty, and then pee stared to push, too. We were in the house by now, and I was standing next to mommy, her arm around me sideways, while she sat at this wood table talking to the woman. “Is your child peeing on my floor?” I looked down. “Sorry. Cait just gets really nervous sometimes, and it causes her to not speak up in time. She’s done it at school at least twice so far this year.” The woman sighed. “I know you were only sixteen when you had her, but you’d think you’d at least have potty trained her by now?” “She is potty trained. She’s just nervous.” The lady shook her head. She called for one of the other kids. “Sorsche!” This bigger girl came in and saw me standing there, pee still sliding down my legs and all over the floor. “Take her to the bathroom and give her a bath, please. Then get her some of Grainne’s old clothes to put on.” The big girl had darker hair like her mommy, but where as her mom had one blue eye and one brown eye, this big girl just had two green eyes. She was kind of skinny, and she had a nice smile as she looked at me. “Sure mama,” and she took me by the hand. The last thing I saw before I was led away, was the woman standing up and getting a mop. “Do you pee pee your pants all the time?” the bigger girl ask me as she took me to the bathroom. “Not always,” I looked down ashamed. “Just when I get nervous and don’t know when to cut into someone else talking to tell them I need to go.” She smiled at me. “Mama says you peed your pants the first time you came, and before you even started to talk to mama.” “We walked a really long time, and I just couldn’t hold it no more,” I said back to the big girl. She patted my shoulder. “My name is Sorsche. Don’t worry about it. It’s not that big of a deal. I was just trying to find out how often I might have to help you.” “Oh.” We got into the bathroom, and she took the blankets off of me, and then pulled down my skirt, and immediate flinched back. “You pooped your pants, too?” “I’m sorry,” I looked down. “It was a really long walk. I tried really hard, but our moms were talking, and I already had some in my panty when they started to talk, so I ….” “You got scared?” I nodded. She sighed. “Well, um… step into the tub, I guess,” she told me. “I still have my panties on.” “I know,” she said. “I’m trying to keep the poop off the floor.” I stepped into the tub, and then she turned the shower on, which was on a hose that hung up, and the took the hose and started to direct the warm water at my butt and around my privates. “What are you doing?” “Trying to make the poop come out of your panties with the water so we don’t have to touch it.” I frowned. “Okay.” She rubbed at the back of my panty after a while, and I could feel the poop sliding out of my panties and some of it down my legs and hitting the tub bottom, she directed the water and pushed the poop into the drain. Then she sprayed me again until almost all the big stuff was out of my panty. “Okay, take off your panties, now,” the big girl ordered me. I did. She told me to ring them out and I did, and then I set them on the floor by the tub. I finished taking off my shirts, then, and they were kind of wet from the spraying water, and then she filled the tub while I sat down. “How old are you again?” she asked me. “I’m seven now,” I looked down. “Seven and pooping your pants? You must be really embarrassed.” “Like I said, I didn’t have anywhere to go potty on the way here, and it was really bad and I was starting to poop even before we got to your door.” She nodded. “I can understand that. I was just saying it must have been embarrassing.” I smiled and felt my face heat up and I mouthed more than any voice came out, “yes.” “Hey,” she sat on the edge of the tub. “Sometimes I still pee the bed,” she told me. “I might as well tell you because dad will probably make us sleep together since mom is probably going to tell him you were wet every time she saw you, and dad knows I pee the bed.” “I don’t always pee the bed, though,” I said defensively. “I don’t always do it either,” Sorsche smiled as she started to wash me. “And it’s always embarrassing when I do. I’m ten years old and am supposed to know better, but I sometimes I can’t help it.” I looked up into her sincere eyes. “I’m only telling you because I’m pretty sure dad will make us sleep together, otherwise, I wouldn’t have told you. It’s really embarrassing to be ten and wetting the bed.” I understood that. I got really embarrassed when I peed my pants at school twice and everyone saw. Another girl came into the bathroom because the door was left open. This girl had curly darker hair and brown eyes. Her face seemed a little puffier than Sorsche’s face. She was about my size, though. “This is kind of your twin,” Sorsche told me as the girl pulled down her pants and sat on the toilet. “Her name is Grainne.” “I waved at her. “Grainne, this is Cait. Mom told me to give her a bath because she….” “Peed in the kitchen?” Grainne asked. Sorsche smiled. “Exactly.” For some reason, Sorsche didn’t tell her I pooped my pants. “Are you the first grader that everyone says peed her pants twice since this year started?” she asked as I heard her peeing. I felt my face get a little bit red. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m in second grade, and there was a boy that pooped his pants in my class last week.” I looked at her in disbelief. “It’s true,” she said. “Cross my heart.” She eventually got off the toilet and fixed her clothes before coming over to get a better look at me. “You have a lot of freckles on your face,” she told me. “I know. My mommy says that I’m a redhead, and that redheads often have a lot of freckles especially when they are kids.” She smiled at me. “So, there’s you and Sorsche?” “We have a baby sister, too,” Grainne said. “She’s three, and we have a sister two years older than Sorsche, but she has a different mother. Her mother is actually with Erinne right now, out somewhere.” “So, your dad had another daughter against being married?” Sorsche looked at me kind funny and Grainne shrugged. “Oh, no,” Sorsche eventually realized what I meant. “No, daddy had been married once before and my mom was married once before. They got together when I was four and Erinne was six.” “Oh,” I frowned. “So, is Grainne your sister?” Sorsche shook her head. “The other people say she isn’t, but I love her, and she treats me like a big sister, so I don’t care what other people say.” “What is the baby sister’s name?” I asked to change the subject. This was one mixed up family, it seemed. “Her name is Aoife,” Grainne told me. Sorsche had me finished by now and pulled me out of the tub. “Cait’s clothes are wet, so mommy said we need to use some of your old ones on her.” Grainne nodded and took me by the hand. Sorsche followed behind us, and we went into a cramped room where there was one bed one side and a bed on the other side. The room smelled a little bit like pee. Sorsche told me she sometimes peed the bed, so I guessed that’s what I smelled, and then I saw one of the beds were stripped and a huge stain was visible though it seemed to be drying out. Sorsche blushed. “Is that Aoife’s bed?” I asked pointing at the bed with the stain on it at the time. I mean, two people share this room, and they said the little sister was three. It could be Grainne and Aoife’s room. “No,” Sorsche said before directing me to the wardrobe so I wouldn’t keep looking at it. I could tell by how fast she stirred me away from seeing it, and the way she turned red that it must have been her bed at that moment. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as she pulled out clothes for me. Grainne came up on my right, and handed me some panties and an undershirt. “You can wear these.” I started to put them on. Sorsche helped me dress even though I could do it, and then she brought us all back down to the kitchen. My mom was still there and she reached out for me to come to her and I sat in her lap for a minute. I saw that the three year old had a lighter brown hair and blue eyes, and she was sitting in the lady’s lap. “I am really sorry about all of this,” My mommy told the other lady. “I just didn’t know what else to do with my baby until I got on my feet. You know if I sent her off to foster, I’d likely not see her again.” The lady was talking calmly and more nicely to my mommy by then. “I know. I probably would have done the same in your shoes. We’ll look after Cait for you until the summer just as you said.” The door opened, and I saw this taller girl come in with light brown hair, blue eyes, and well, she looked like she was a little taller than Sorsche. I guessed that was Erinne. “So, they brought the girl, I see,” she said in somewhat unfriendly tone. “Yes, Erinne, they brought Cait to stay with us for a while. And stay out of the fridge. We’ll be having dinner in about an hour.” “Don’t tell me what to do, Mary.” “Erinne, I’m warning you,” the woman said sharply at her. “Show a little respect especially in front of guests.” “I’ll show you some when you actually earn it,” the rebellious girl bantered. Mary sighed shaking her head. “She’s had an attitude for the last six years,” she told us. “She’s gotten a little better, but as you can see….” My mommy stood up and walked over to the older girl. “You are lucky you are not my kid,” she told her. “If you talked that way to me, and I was feeding you and making sure you had clean clothes, well, you’d go for a week without clean clothes, and you’d get whatever I could put together without cooking for that week,” she told her. “Well, you’re not. Besides, daddy wouldn’t allow that. He’d yell at her if she did that, and make her make me food and clean my clothes.” My mom shook her head. “I’m sorry you have to put up with that, Mary,” she said to the woman. I looked up at my mama, and she patted me on the butt as she talked to me. “I know Mary isn’t your mommy, and you should remember that you do have a mommy. But I know you are smart enough not to talk to her the way that kid is talking to her, right?” I nodded. “That’s my good girl,” and she gave me one last long squeeze before she headed for the door. “Don’t you want to talk to Dan?” Mary asked her. “It’s a three hour walk back to town, and it’s already getting dark.” Mary frowned. “I’m sorry about him. He knew you were bringing Cait today, but he insisted he had to go out earlier.” “I understand,” my mommy smiled. “I’ll see you later, if I can still visit my baby.” “You can visit her anytime you want,” Mary told my mommy.

Thank you.