Incontinence - Medical

Of course, they have your hands locked in soft thick mittens, so you cannot attempt to remove your diaper and play with what's inside there, and you are fed with a high fiber liquid diet that prevents you from holding poop for too long and become constipated.

I think I have answered this in another area, but here goes. My wife accepts that I wear diapers, she has changed me several times over the years (Wet and Messy). But normally on any given day it's just me, so she let's me indulge in my diaper time but doesn't go out of her way to assist me in putting them on. We have done everything with diapers over the years including bedroom activities. And she has changed me when out camping, in hotel rooms as well as other places. But that is the exception and not the rule of every day life. I'm just very grateful that she let's me indulge in this lifestyle of mine.

Chapter 10 - Eye on prize Isn’t the recruitment process just the most awful and agonising nightmare? Over the last month Tom has had 3 interviews with this company. One with the HR person, the second was a test and the third with the hiring manager. They are actually hiring 4 apprentices, all to start together. When he first applied for this job, it was just like any other application, but now he had gotten to the third round he would be heartbroken if he didn’t get the job. The job wasn’t the only thing he wanted. He wanted that changing table, and to demonstrate how much so, he’d indeed worn his nappy every day and every night, nonstop 24/7. Now, no matter how much you like wearing nappies, anyone who has tried it will know that 24/7 isn’t easy. It takes resolve and commitment. There have been many times over this last month when, during an ordinary and dull moment, he’s just wanted to take it off for a bit, enjoy some normality, be free of it, just for a while. But each time he has hardened his resolve, kept his eye on the prize. His dad has mentioned it a few times during changing - “If we get that changing table, this will be a lot easier”. Along with “I can’t keep doing it on this bed, it’s too low” and various other passing comments. ___ The first thing Tom does as he wakes up is check his email on his phone, just in case the recruiter has contacted him between when he last checked at 3am and now at 7:30am - unlikely, but he can’t help himself. He’s not exactly expecting a medal or trophy when he goes down for breakfast, but given this is exactly 1 month since his dad made the deal about the changing table, he’s expecting some kind of announcement. Alas there is nothing. Tom’s not sure whether to mention it or not, maybe his dad will mention it later? Maybe he’ll just surprise him. When lunchtime comes and his dad has still not mentioned it, Tom can’t hold back any longer, he has to mention it. He’s focused so hard on it over the last month, there has to be some acknowledgment. ‘So…errr…I’ve been wearing all the time for a month now’ he says trying to be as casual about it as possible. ‘Yeah, I had noticed’ said his dad with a chuckle ‘I’m changing them don’t forget’. ‘Yeah I know, still on that bed’ said Tom trying to hint where he was going. ‘Yeah, we do need a changing table really’ added his dad. ‘I think so, I don’t want you to hurt your back’ said Tom, trying to add weight to the argument casually. ‘I have been looking at them Tom’ added his dad.  ‘I’d not realised just how expensive it is going to be’. ‘Oh right’ said Tom, getting the distinctive feeling that his dad was about to back out of the deal, just at the point he’d reached the agreed milestone. ‘How much?’ enquired Tom. ‘Well, I don’t want some free standing crap. It’s got to be built into the room, with shelves underneath. A custom fit. This is a new house, it’s got to be done properly. For that we’re looking at between four and five thousand fitted. Then if we get the hoist we’re looking at another 2k’. ‘What??’ Replied Tom. ‘I was thinking a few hundred pounds’. ‘No Tom, nothing is a few hundred pounds these days’. ‘My god, I had no idea’ replied Tom. ‘It’s more than I thought’ said his dad. ‘But I’m still willing to get it for you, as long as you will actually use it’. ‘Oh I will’ blurted out Tom ‘You know I will’. ‘I don’t just mean this week, or next week, but for a while’ his dad added. ‘I know you’ve been wearing for a couple of months, give or take now, but I’m still worried that I’ll pay out all that money and you will bore of it’. ‘I won’t, I promise’ said Tom eagerly. ‘How long have I got to wear to get your monies worth out of it?’ He asked. His dad thought about it for a few seconds. ‘Well I guess when a parent buys this stuff they expect to get 2.5 to 3 years out of it, so I’d kind of expect you to need it for about that long for it to be worth it’. Tom took a deep breath. ‘Ok’ he said. ‘It’s something you’ve got to really think about Tom’ said his dad. I’m not going to force you to wear them once I’ve bought it, but if I did and you wanted to stop soon after, I can’t say I wouldn’t be annoyed’. ‘That’s fair enough dad, I get it’ said Tom. ‘I will think about it’. — After lunch Tom returned to his room and sat at his desk thinking. 2 to 3 years, would he really still want to be doing this in 3 years time? How would he ever know that? All he knew is he wanted it now. He was obviously disappointed his dad appeared to be having second thoughts, but he could see why. It was eye wateringly expensive. His dad was one of those “If it’s not done properly, don’t do it at all” people, so he knew what his dad was talking about was likely the most elaborate option available. It would be that, or nothing at all. As he continued to think about it, another thought entered his head. If he could convince his dad to get it for him now, should he get this job and change his mind later, he could pay his dad back with his salary. That would remove any guilt he felt. Yes, this felt like the plan! The problem was, he’d worn for a month, kept the deal, and his dad still wasn’t sure, what could he do to convince him he’s serious about this? —- Tom has never been regular, it happens completely at random times, sometimes not at all. It was about 4:30pm when the first feeling first came that he needed a poo. He got up from his desk and made his way to the toilet, like normal, but as he went to pull the tape on his nappy, a thought entered his head. Maybe this was it. Maybe this is how he convinces his dad to get the changing table. He goes all in, he starts using his nappy for no.2. He went back to his room to think about it more. I don’t think I can do it he said to himself. It could be awful, it might stink, it might go everywhere, it might burn my bum! Over the next 45 minutes his mind flip flops between: Let’s go for it, and absolutely no way. At this point he is pacing up and down his room with his buttocks clenched firm, over thinking it, again and again. He both wants to show his commitment to his dad, but at the same time absolutely does not want to do it. He leans on the window sill, placing full concentration on not messing himself, to give himself more time to think about, though he can feel slightly he is loosing the battle. He starts to go, but immediately stops himself. ‘I can’t, I can’t, what the hell am I doing’ he thinks. He shuffles himself into the bathroom and starts to undo his jeans, but maybe it was the sheer sight of the toilet. Before he has undone the buttons, it starts coming. He’s held it too long, nature has taken over. Tom is having an accident, he is messing himself. He stops unbuttoning, he can feel the poo making its way out of his bum pushing his cheeks apart and filling the back of his nappy. He is frozen still. He sniffs expecting to smell poo, he doesn’t. He does his jeans back up, and does a small after poo wee. He stands there for a minute, thinking about what he has done. There is no turning back now, it’s done. One way or another this will have to be dealt with. Either he’s going to have to do it, or his dad. Slowly he turns and makes his way downstairs. As he does he catches himself in the mirror in the hall. He looks into his own eyes. ‘You’ve just shit yourself’ he mouths to himself incredulously. Once downstairs he stands at his dad’s study door for a moment before he gently knocks on it. ‘Yep’ his dad says. He turns around, Tom is as white as a sheet. ‘I’ve erm…’ Tom swallows his Adam’s apple. ‘I’ve erm..done something’ he says, not able to say it. ‘Done what mate?’ Asks his dad casually. ‘I’ve, errm…. pooed myself’ Tom says shyly. His dad takes off his glasses and puts them on the desk. He takes a deep breath. ‘I’ve been wondering how long it was going to be before this happened’ he said. ‘Really?’ Said Tom. ‘Yes’ said his dad. ‘If I’m honest I thought it was going to happen sooner, but it’s happened now’. ‘Oh right’ said Tom. ‘Are you angry with me?’ ‘Angry with you?’ Said his dad surprised. ‘No, of course I’m not angry with you. Was I angry with you when I discovered you liked nappies, or when you started to wet yourself?’ ‘No’ said Tom shyly. ‘So what makes you think I’d be angry with you now?’ ‘I dunno’ said Tom, feeling embarrassed. ‘I just….I wanted to show you I want this changing table, but now I’ve done it, I’m worried it’s just gross.’ ‘Oh I see’ said his dad. ‘Well, that’s one way to tell me’ he chuckled. He opened his arms to offer Tom a hug. ‘Come here stink bum’ he said jokingly. Tom came over, nervous that he smelt and his dad would notice. His dad put his arms around him and squeezed tightly. As he did, Tom put his arms back around him. ‘Everything’s going to be ok son’ he said ‘I’m here for you’. When they brought their hug to a mutual close his dad said. ‘I’m going to finish up for the day, I’ve got nothing urgent on. Let’s go for a walk and a chat in the sun, grab your jacket’ Tom looked at him confused. ‘But…I’ve got poo in my pants, do I, or…it needs changing…’ ‘We won’t be long, I’ll do it first thing when we get back’ his dad replied as he ushered Tom out of his study. Chapter 11 - A walk in the sun As Tom walked along he could feel the poo in his nappy moving about and spreading around. It wasn’t wholly unpleasant, but it didn’t feel nice either. He could also start to smell himself, even outside. It was a warm sunny day in late April. The birds were tweeting, the bushes and trees bursting with new spring growth. People were going about their business all around him. He felt like he was in his own world, walking along, his pants full of poo, and more wee than he’d realised. As an adult this is just simple not allowed, yet here he was doing it. It felt surreal. Going outside for the first time in a nappy, wetting himself, these had all been “milestones”. But walking along having messed himself, seemed like the most surreal of them all. Eventually when they reached the park his dad sat on a vacant bench and gestured for Tom to sit next to him. ‘Sit down mate’ he said. ‘No I’m alright standing’ Tom replied. ‘Sit down I want to talk to you’ his dad insisted. ‘I can’t can I, I’ve got…I’ve done a poo haven’t I’ said Tom glowing bright red. ‘And?’ Replied his dad looking confused. ‘You’ve got a nappy on, haven’t you? Sit down, I’m not talking up to you looking into the sun, I’ll get neck ache.’ Tom walked over to the bench, he slowly lowered his little bottom down. Before he’d even put it on the bench the tightness of his skinny jeans was pushing on his bum and spreading the poo, up his back and forward to his balls. Eventually he started to lower his weight, as he did the poo spread considerably. It now felt high in the nappy and was pushing his balls forward. A puff of fowl air blew out, turning up Tom’s nose. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll sort it when we get back’ his dad said tapping him on the knee’. ‘Why did I do this?’ asked Tom awkwardly. ‘You obviously wanted to’ his dad replied. ‘I’m not sure about that’ said Tom. ‘I just wanted to show you that I would like to carry on, I’d like the changing table’. ‘Well you didn’t have to crap yourself to prove it’ his dad chuckled again. ‘But I appreciate the gesture’. ‘I’ll sort it out myself when we get back’ said Tom. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ve over stepped the mark’. ‘No you won’t’ said his dad clearly. ‘I’ll do it’. Tom looked at him awkwardly. ‘Unless you really don’t want me to?’ He qualified. ‘I dunno’ said Tom ‘it’s going to be pretty awful isn’t it?’ ‘No not really’ said his dad causally. ‘It doesn’t bother me’. ‘Seriously?’ asked Tom. ‘Seriously’ replied his dad. ‘It’ll take 5 minutes, I’ll clean it up, you hop in the shower, all done and dusted.’ ‘Ok’ said Tom swallowing his Adam’s apple. After a bit of a pause Tom said. ‘I wish we’d not come out when I was messy’. ‘Why’s that?’ Asked his Dad. ‘Well, because I smell’ said Tom ‘and I can feel it in there’. ‘Right, ok’ replied his dad. ‘Do you know what I mean?’ Asked Tom. ‘How’d you mean?’ Enquired his Dad. ‘Did you ever do this in yours?’ Asked Tom. ‘No son, I didn’t. I wanted to, but I was never brave enough. That’s where you and I are so different. I am a coward. I never followed through on my desires, you do, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. You’ve no idea how proud of you I am for that’. — As they walked back Tom absolutely got the irony of his dad being “proud” of him for having crapped himself at 23 years old. As they approached the front door Tom’s heart started to thump in his chest. Now was the point at which he, and indeed his dad, was going to have to deal with the aftermath. His dad took charge as soon as they were indoors. ‘Ok, right, we’ll need to do this on the bathroom floor. You go upstairs, I’ll grab some old towels and some gloves’. ‘Right, ok’ said Tom. As he was waiting in the bathroom for his dad to come up, he just wanted this to be over. His dad came into the room with two towels, some rubber gloves and a Rubik’s cube. ‘What’s the Rubik’s cube for?’ Asked Tom. ‘To distract you whilst I’m doing it, make it easier for you’. Said his dad. ‘Oh ok, that’s nice of you’ said Tom. ‘Well you don’t have to have anything to do with it, do you. You just lay there and play with the cube and I’ll do the necessary down here’. His dad laid down the towels on the floor as Tom removed his jeans. At this point there was a strong smell of poo, but neither of them mentioned it. Tom looked in his jeans to see if there was anything inside, but they were fine. His nappy had contained it all. As he sat on the hard tiled floor, there was more squelching. “Oh my god” he whispered to himself. ‘Just chill’ said his dad. ‘I got this’. As Tom laid back he was breathing deeply. It was embarrassing showing his dad his bits for the first time in a decade, then his dad seeing him wet, now his dad was about to see him absolutely covered in crap. His dad undid the nappy and pulled it down. Tom fully expected him to gag or heave, but he didn’t react at all, he just got on with it. Out with the extra large wipes, rubbing and scrubbing, depositing the nappy and the wipes into a nappy bag as he went. It took no more than a few minutes. ‘That’s you cleaned up. You can take a shower if you like, but you don’t actually need to, these wipes are pretty good’. ‘I will’ said Tom, as he sat up. ‘I feel dirty’. ‘Well you’re not, but go for it’ said his dad as he stood up. ‘I’ll go and put this outside and I’ll see you in your room in a bit for the next one’. — When Tom came out of the shower and into his room his dad was already waiting, nappy in hand. ‘You ok?’ asked Tom aprehensiously. ‘Ok course I’m ok’ replied his dad. ‘You’re the one making a big thing over it. You did a poo in your nappy, it’s no big deal’. Chapter 12 - Big News! “Dear Mr Collins, we are delighted to offer you a position on our apprenticeship program as a junior Architect….” ‘I got it, I got it, I bloody got it!..’ Tom shouted as he went running down the stairs in his nappy and t-shirt to his dad’s study. His dad quickly stopped his web cam as he heard him bounding down the stairs. He was on a conference call, the last thing he needed was his 23 year old son to burst into the background in a nappy! ‘I’m sorry, I have to step away for something personal’ he said on the call as he muted it. He came out of his study and grabbed Tom as he came running towards him, full of joy and glee. He picked him up in his arms and held him there, before setting him back down. ‘Well done you..clever boy’ he said proudly. ‘When do they want you to start?’ ‘In two weeks!’ beamed Tom. ‘That’s great, you better get on your computer and accept the offer Tom, before they change their minds!’ Tom raced upstairs and opened up the email on his computer. “I accept the position…” he typed out, double checked and then pressed “Send”. Things were looking up, finally! ___ Later that evening whilst they are preparing dinner… ‘So the people I have coming to do the renovations are specialists’ said Tom’s dad as he stirred the cheese sauce. ‘Oh right, specialists in what?’ Asked Tom. ‘Kit for adult bab…adults in nappies’ replied his dad correcting himself to avoid describing Tom as a baby in any way, he knew he wouldn’t like that. ‘What like a medical company?’ asked Tom. ‘No’ replied his dad. ‘We don’t want some awful medical contraption up there do we. They specialise in making stuff for people like you. Older sons and daughters who are wearing nappies again’. ‘Oh right’ said Tom. ‘I’d no idea that such things existed’. ‘Neither did I, but you’d be amazed what you can find on the internet. I found this company called “Morden and Son” who specialise in building this kind of thing, they’ve been extremely helpful’. ‘When they doing it?’ Asked Tom. ‘Starting tomorrow, 3 days work apparently’ said his dad. ‘Oh right wow, that’s quick.’ said Tom. Tom’s dad turned to him and looked him straight in the eye. ‘Yes I know, I caught them at a quiet time apparently. This is your last chance to let me know if you want to stop before I splash out the cash’ he said seriously. ‘Especially now you got this job coming, you sure you still want to wear them?’ ‘I’m sure’ said Tom confidently. ‘I did the 2nd two interviews with a nappy on. They relax me, I’m so much more confident and relaxed in one, I don’t think I want to start work without one, do you?’ ‘Ok, well, as long as you’re sure’. Said his dad. ‘When they come the guy is going to talk us through other things we might want or need’. Said his dad. ‘Like what?’ I dunno said his dad, let’s find out, hear what the man has got to say, we’re under no obligation. — When Tom climbed into his bed that evening, the world felt like it was a much better place. So much had changed for him in the last 2 months. His future felt brighter. He was living his fantasies at home, and could go out into the real world during the day and be a proper functioning adult. No one needed to know he had a nappy on under his suit trousers, did they?

If your mother does not know or support your activities, I’d have to agree with the above comments and recommend that you postpone your diaper wearing activities until you have a place of your own where you will have the privacy needed.  I can tell you from personal experience that parents will find out no matter how careful or clever you think you are being.

Chapter Forty One     Amanda felt a bit caught off guard. She had just spent the last half an hour politely declining a check from the ABI, only to cave and let them have a work crew come and put in two rows of paving stones from the beginning of her driveway, along the edge of the field between her patch of land and the treeline. A path that someone would have to keep mowed, just in case.   Agent Praefectus did make her agree that she would at least call a local contractor that he knew if she was serious about expanding her fence. She could turn down a check, but a break on the cost of a fence was never unwelcome.   But the real challenge had been the logistics of figuring out how to make a little shack like John had suggested, and then somehow get it all the way upstream to where it needed to be. They had all agreed that it was a perfect solution, and solar panels would be more than able to keep lights, a fan, and a transmitter powered. But how to get it there?   And just when they had agreed to combine the ideas and use the drive to get the materials to the waterfront, they spotted John with a comically swollen diaper trying to sneak to his bedroom.   So of course she had gotten him changed, and hurried to get the clothes in the wash, and change her shirt where he had leaked on her. Pleasantly surprised to find that the drips on the floor had been cleaned up, she walked over to kneel down next to her son.   John was holding a pencil and instead of drawing quickly and excitedly like usual, she could see he was just barely doodling lines of grass. And she could just make out the sound of him sniffling.   Gently laying her hand on his back, she felt her chest tense up a bit as he jumped a bit. When he looked up at her she immediately felt her world stop.   John’s eyes were red and puffy.   Whispering “Come here, baby” she hoisted him up to her chest, grabbed his drawing pad and stood up.   Ignoring everything other than her son, she slid the drawing pad onto the back of the couch and then sat down with him propped up on her chest, lightly rubbing his back with her fingertips.   With a soft whisper she told him into his ear “Hey, want to talk about it?”   She felt him shake his head against her chest more than she saw it. So she just sat there for a bit longer until he was ready.   It wasn’t too long before he caved and said softly “I wanted to feel mature.”   Kissing him on top of the head, she whispered “You are very mature.”   He snorted softly with laughter and added “For a little.”   Scooting him up higher so that his head was against her neck, she started to pat him on the booty to comfort him.   After a bit longer, she kissed him on the cheek and said to him “You are more mature than you realize, but you are in a whole new world and you just have to learn what is normal.”   She could feel his entire body inflate as he took a deep breath and then deflate as he exhaled.   “I wanted to help, and then it was like I couldn’t do anything else. I felt kind of useless. And then I needed a change and didn’t want to ask. I don’t want to feel this way.” He complained.   “Aww, sweety. You had a great idea, and we spent the last half hour trying to figure out how to make it happen. Now Agent Praefectus is going to take the idea to his superiors and they’ll see about getting it done. He just had to have a full plan to present to them if they’re going to accept it.”   He stopped sniffling a bit and looked up at her. Goddess those eyes looked adorable, even when they were watering.   “I’m not useless?” Hearing him ask that made her heart ache.   Wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him firmly, she gave him a BIG kiss on the forehead and said “No sweety, you were very helpful. And you can just come ask for a change when you need one, no one will think any less of you. It’s true that you’re very small and littles don’t have any way of knowing what all needs to happen behind the scenes. But that’s what we are here for, to do the parts that you can’t.”   With a nod, he flopped his head back onto her shoulder before asking “Can I go back outside?”   thinking about it for a moment, she answered “It’s close to time for you to get a little rest. But I guess it won’t hurt to go outside for a bit while we have the some good weather.   Standing up with him still on her, Amanda shuffled him around onto her hip and walked over to the two men that had taken a hint and stepped outside on the porch to talk. They seemed to get along mostly well, but she had a nagging suspicion that Agent Praefectus was disappointed to see Mike here. She couldn’t quite put her thumb on it.   Stepping out onto the porch, she said “Hey, it’s almost nap time, but I think we should take the chance and go for a little walk outside while we have nice weather.”   They both nodded, but Agent Praefectus added “I have to run up the river and put those sensors up anyway. The higher ups want me to try and get them as close as possible to the rift, they just don’t know exactly where it is until … well, it gets used.”   Suddenly John perked up and almost bounced off her hip in excitement. She had to squeeze him tight to keep him from falling.   “Oh! OH!!” John all but shouted to the group.   Struggling to get an arm behind him to keep him pinned to her, she asked “John, what is it?”   He looked up at her again, this time with an infectious smile and said “I need my drawing pad!”   Mike was laughing as he stepped toward the door, asking “Where is it?”   Laughing now, she said “I put it on the back of the couch.” as Mike went in.   Moments later they were looking at a pretty detailed drawing of … a tree.   “John…” she said, feeling a bit skeptical at the moment.   “It’s the tree!” was all he offered as an explanation.   The grown ups all looked at each other and then back at John.   “There …” She took a breath “There are a lot of trees.”   He looked so confused for a moment and then she could see the gears in his head move as the look on his face changed.   “Oh! That was the first tree that I saw when I came through the rift. Great big tree, and the trunk splits like that off to the right.” John finally explained.   Agent Praefectus nodded and pulled out his phone to take a picture. He seemed understandably skeptical as he said “I’ll keep my eyes out for a tree that looks like this while I’m up there.”   With that, Agent Praefectus shook hands all the way around, even got a little fist bump out of John before heading out to the gate.   “Okay! John, you’re going to drink some water before we head out, no getting dehydrated on my watch.”   By the time she had a full sippy cup, he was sitting on the porch trying to tie his shoes on his own. Every time he would make a loop and pull it through, the laces would fly out of his hands. That probably wasn’t helping him with his feeling extra little today, but maybe learning to rely on bigs would be better for him to learn sooner rather than later.   Sitting down next to him, she patted her leg and simply said “Here, I’ll help.”   It was easy to see that he was sulking, but he finally gave up and turned to point his feet toward her. She had them tied in an instant.   Reaching over to muss his ever messy hair, she hugged him with one arm. It seemed that he got upset over the smallest things, and easily accepted the big things.   “Come on, let’s go, you can walk the dog.” Amanda said while poking him in the ribs. The resulting giggle as he scrunched up was adorable.   He stood up, but insisted on climbing down the stairs by himself. It seemed like he was more focused on the smallest details of doing things for himself and accepting the bigger ones. That warranted a conversation with Cat.    As they gathered by the gate facing the stream, Amanda leaned and whispered “Xerxes: Guard” while Mike opened the latch. Mike held the gate while she followed the boy and his dog pal out.   Walking side by side with Mike while John ran off to a nearby tree, she spoke to Mike without looking at him to her left.   “Thank you for helping with the salsa. And helping me negotiate w… argue with Agent Praefectus.”   It was easy to hear a small laugh come out of him right before he said “I’m happy to help. It was pretty funny to see you turning down the check.”   With a shrug from Amanda they kept walking along the stream, going north toward the direction that John had originally come from. The going was a bit slow because even with John half running through the grass, he couldn’t keep up with their normal walking speed for very long. But everywhere he went, Xerxes just trotted along behind him looking happy as could be.   They did have a fun stop as John found some acorns and looked up to ask “Hey, do we have a bag?”   As Amanda answered “John…” he realized that he had a great big pocket on the front of his shortalls. Which was immediately filled with acorns. Because of course he filled it with dirty acorns and she would have to figure out how to clean that pocket out.   After about twenty minutes of walking, John had started to slow down and he walked over to pat Mike on the leg. When she saw Mike lean down and they both started smirking, she knew they were up to something.   Mike picked her little son up and deposited him on top of Xerxes. Now all traces of his earlier stress and crankiness were gone. And Xerxe’s tail was flapping back and forth.   Experimentally, Amanda picked up the pace and walked at her normal speed. They were able to cover much more ground more easily.   “Hey.” she said to Mike “I just noticed that it’s a lot harder to walk slower than it is to just … walk.”   Mike nodded as he answered “Well, this is a really nice place you have out here. It’s quiet.” Then he lowered his voice and whispered “He also didn’t want to ask to be carried because he’s getting tired. When do you want to turn around?”   Laughing at the antics of her little son, she thought about it while they walked before answering “Let’s give him another five or ten minutes. He’s having fun playing horse with Xerxes.”   Without really thinking about it, she reached out with her left hand and tapped Mikes right hand. Without looking, he reached back and took hers.   His hand was larger and her hand just seemed to slip into it. It was firm, it was warm, and it was nice. Neither of them said anything about holding hands, but Amanda knew for a fact that she was smiling.   About ten minutes later, although no one was watching a clock, she could see John starting to bob forward a bit on top of Xerxes.   Letting go of Mikes hand, she said “Xerxes: Heel.”   Sure enough the dog veered back around and came along between the two bigs. John was struggling to keep his eyes open and holding on to the dogs collar.   Looking up at Mike, they nodded at each other and turned back around, each one with a hand on Johns shoulder, just in case.   Despite obviously being sleepy, John kept trying to pat on the dogs shoulder to encourage him to run along faster, but between being told to heel, and them each having a hand on him, it just wasn’t going to happen.   They weren’t halfway back to the house when John slumped forward and Amanda silently swooped him up and got him situated on her shoulder.   Immediately he caught on to what was going on and started complaining “Nooo, I’m not sleepy, I just need to walk a bit.”   “Shhhh” she said softly into his ear “You can walk a bit when we get home. Just met Mommy carry you there first.”   “Nnnnn” was all he got out.   A little ways from the house she felt him go limp and his bottom started to grow warm a moment after that. It was very hard to keep from chuckling.   They had a quiet conversation, talking about what they did for work, and Mike seemed very interested in how she wound up doing editing and preparing articles for three different groups.   “Well, it started off as one job, and the one job paid my bills, so I picked up a second one and quit my day job. I had a desk job at a real estate company. I didn’t hate it, but it was obviously just a job. I picked up a third job that pays per contract, but only has two or three jobs per month. It’s not much, but I put it all into savings. Between the two extra jobs, and selling my produce, I managed to pay this place off in a little over three years.”   Mike seemed genuinely surprised as he whispered back loudly “You paid this place off already?”   Amanda just nodded “I also got lucky and I got it cheap because it sat empty for a few years. My friend Cat helped me paint everything, my Dad helped replace the rusty sink and stove. Mom insisted on buying me a dinner table. Cat helps me till the garden every year, but every time we expand it, it feels a little bit harder. And now that I need to move the fence back and expand the yard, we’re pretty well out of our depth.”   With a smirk he added “You know, I bet I could help with that. It would take a bit of time to plan it out though.”   Now smiling back, Amanda answered “On the upside, someone accidentally gave us a sketch to work off of. Oof, that someone is getting heavy.”   Stopping to hold out his arms, Mike offered “Here, I can carry him the rest of the way back.”   It took a moment to carefully shift him into Mikes arms, but she was genuinely curious to see how Mike would do holding her sleeping son. He seemed really good with him.   Where She had been holding him laid on her shoulder, Mike just carried him with his arm under Johns back, hand holding his thighs so he wouldn’t roll, and spent a moment getting a limp arm flopped against him instead of dangling comically.   Finally back to the house, she tried to close the gate, but Xerxes chose that moment to need to potty instead of, you know, the ENTIRE time they were out for a walk. So they settled for sneaking all of the acorns out of Johns pocket, taking his shoes off, and then Mike very gently lowered him into the playpen.   For good measure, she put Rupert and Argo both in the playpen with him. She tried to lift his arm up over Argo, but it just flopped back limply. He was truly out like a light.   Looking at the light coming from the kitchen, Amanda took a moment to take the blanket off of the back of the couch and drape it over the side of the playpen so that the light wouldn’t wake him up.   Walking back to the kitchen, they talked quietly while she got coffee making.   Turning, she asked Mike “So where do you live?”   With a hand over his mouth to keep his laugh quiet, he answered “I live in one of the cheaper suburbs this side of the city. One of those places where half of the neighbors don’t want to be in the city, and the other half want to pretend that their suburb is the fanciest.”   “Dreadful.”   With a bit of a laugh, Mike continued “Tell me about it. It’s not that bad, but every weekend I get the lawn tended to. I don’t have much in the way of landscaping because I don’t want to do the extra upkeep for a front yard that I can’t really use. And you might be a bit disappointed in my back yard, I only have a few plants, and nothing comparable to what you’re doing here.”   Now pouring a cup of coffee and a glass of water for each of them while they talked, Amanda probed a bit by asking “Have you considered moving a bit further out of the city?”   “You know, I’ve thought about it a several times. There’s a lot to look into to move out of town. Utilities, things like TV service, extra drive time to work.”   Nodding in response, she recommended “If you start looking again, the sweet spot for me was under thirty minutes away. But when I saw that stream and open field here, I just knew instantly. Being cheaper than the houses in the city made it even better. Needing the repair work that I couldn't do myself was the big downside.”   After finishing off their coffee, Mike finally stood up and admitted “Well. It’s about that time. I need to head back. I'm very glad you had me back out."   Standing up herself, Amanda felt bold enough to go in for a hug. Mike seemed all too happy to return the hug.   After that nice moment it was time to get Mike loaded up with salsa and sauce. Plus she made sure to give him her last ready jar of pickled ghost peppers. May as well go the extra mile. She was definitely going to have to start making more.   They stood there awkwardly after it was done, neither of them completely certain what to say next.   Finally she broke the silence first: “So when is your next day off?”   With a laugh, he thought about it for a second before answering “I work a half day Wednesday, and I’m off for the weekend.”   Smirking she asked “Chicken, or a roast?”   “Hmm…. Roast.”   Going in for another quick hug, She said “I’ll see you after work on Wednesday?”   “Hah! You got me, I’ll be back on Wednesday.”   She stood by the gate as he drove away, until he turned at the end of the driveway onto the main road.   Spotting a gray squirrel on the fence, she snuck over to swipe an acorn from Johns wagon and then crept over to the fence line. By the time she got within ten feet of the squirrel, he sensed her, even though she was nearly dead silent.   And Steve ran off along the fence, jumping to a nearby tree.   Calling after him “Fine then! You have to wait for my son, you ingrate!”   Sighing as she sat on her chair on the porch, she mumbled “Great, I’m yelling at a squirrel now.” as she called Cat.   It was barely past one, but Cat was going to want to know the details of Mike coming over while they were fresh.