Restlessfox's Depression Discussion

I'm interested as well

Chapter Forty Two (The Ultimate Answer)     John hated waking up quickly. That much was obvious every morning. But no one bothering him the moment that he woke up from a nap was a bonus that he was starting to appreciate.   Laying half asleep on his back as he started to come around, John had the odd sensation that there was someone next to him. With a yawn and a good long stretch, he asked “Kate?” and rolled over to throw an arm over the form next to him.   As he opened his eyes he found himself starting into the face of a deranged lizard with comical green eyes.   The unexpected sight shocked him wide awake and sent him scrabbling backwards until he collided with a soft mesh wall. Laughing for a moment at the absurdity of it all, he took a moment to push against the mesh wall and help himself stand up.   Rubbing his eyes a bit, he looked around seeing that his shortalls were gone, leaving him in just a t shirt and fairly wet diaper on display for the world to see. He also could not see out of the playpen because of the solid top around the side wall.   Annoyingly, if here were just a few inches taller, he would be able to see over the top of it if he stood on his tip toes. Not being able to freely see the room around him every time he stood up in the playpen was starting to get really old, and really fast.   The blanket that was usually on the back of the couch was draped over one side of the playpen, blocking the view from the side facing the kitchen. And a large towel had been added on the side facing Mom’s desk.   Fine then, that seemed considerate, but now he couldn’t see out and it had to go. Now.   Grabbing the blanket he started leaning back and pulling it to one side, but it was just big enough that it bunched up. So with one foot against the mesh he just started pulling hand over hand until the blanket fell with a ‘fwump’ into the playpen with him.   He still couldn’t see out.   FINE.   With a huff he grabbed the large towel and pulled that in, too. This time, more aggravated he just immediately pulled with all of his strength and when it came way more easily than the smaller blanket and he wound up falling onto his butt and landing on his swollen wet diaper with a squish.   This made him even grumpier, and he growled.   Now that he was on his butt, he was low enough to see Moms legs in her office chair by her desk. Those same legs turned and he could see her stand up. A moment later he was looking at her head above the side of the playpen.   “Well” she said down to him softly “Did someone wake up from their nap cranky?”   Immediately he responded “I’m not cranky!”   When she stood upright and crossed her arms he knew he had a problem.   “Excuse me?” she said in the Mom Tone.   “Ummm… I’m sorry. I’m not cranky, Mommy.” He tried to lay it on thick.   “Uh huh. Well, it won’t hurt you to play in the playpen while Mommy finishes a bit more work, then will it?”   Immediately he turned incredulous and said “No! Not that, I want out!”   She simply turned and walked away toward the kitchen, leaving him there by himself for a moment. He spent that time trying to think of a way to get her to change her mind and take him out of the playpen. Being in the playpen made him feel like a baby, and some of the smallest things that he should be able to do by himself had been making him more and more upset.   As she came back he opened his mouth and before he could even say a word she held up her hand.   “Sweety, I don’t want you to get yourself in trouble, so it may be best if you just take this and drink some. I’ll get you a coloring book and your pencils.”   “But I …” and he stopped when she pointed at him.   She explained softly “I told you day one that I would be as gentle with you as I can, and firm with you when I think that gentle won’t work. And right now, I think you need firm.”   Starting to open his mouth again, her look convinced him to keep his mouth shut.   After a moment of him obviously keeping his mouth shut, she nodded and handed him a sippy cup of cold water and then walked to his room. Coming back, she put two coloring books and his pencils in the playpen with him.   “John, look up at me.”   Looking up he could see her with a soft smile.   “Sweety, you’re not in trouble. I want you to understand that. The playpen isn’t a time out. It’s a safe out of the way place where you can nap. But you’ve been getting more and more upset about little things and I need you to understand that there is nothing wrong with those things, okay?”   All that he could really do was just nod along while thinking “If I’m not being punished, then why am I still in here?”   She reached down and patted him on the head “Because I still have some work to do. Most bigs keep their littles in playpens for several hours a day. I won’t usually do that, but you need to learn that it’s normal for it to happen if we go somewhere.”   Oh crap, he said it out loud didn’t he?   He just hurriedly nodded again.   Reaching down, Mom picked him up and pulled him into a hug and kissed him on the forehead.   “Mommy loves you.” he heard her say while she sneakily checked his diaper before putting him back down.   “Your diaper is seems like it isn’t very wet. We’ll get you changed once I’m done with my work, okay?”   With a simple nod he agreed “Okay.”   And with one more headpat he was left to his own devices, albeit in a smaller space than he was used to. Looking around in the space he had, it was honestly at least ten by ten. Probably a twelve by twelve. It was hard to tell, now that he was almost a foot and a half shorter than he used to be.   With a sigh and a dramatic flop onto the piled up blanket with a ‘fwump’ sound he laid there for a moment sulking quietly.   Mumbling to himself “Fine, I’ll make my own entertainment.” he stood back up and got to work. Grabbing the blanket he had just pulled into the playpen with him, he fumbled with it until he had a corner.   Corner in hand he dragged it to one side of the playpen and flung it over one side. It took a few tries to get enough of the blanket over for friction to keep it up, but when it stayed he went toward the corner pushing it over the side, and then hung a left continuing until the blanket covered half of the playpen diagonally.   It wasn’t straight from one corner to the other, and it was drooping a bit, but it was good enough.   Grabbing Argo he looked at the hilariously overstuffed iguana and thought for a moment.   Looking back and forth from the stuffie to the covered portion of the playpen he decided out loud “You shall be the dreaded dragon of the cave. The great and powerful … Sque-a-mat.”   With that he crawled under the drooping blanket and pulled Argo in and propped him up in the corner. Before crawling out from under, he looked up through the mesh to see that Mom was busy working on her computer.   So, crawling out on the other side of the makeshift cave, he stood up and stared at the mesh wall. He considered how cool it would be if he could just stare a hole through it.   But since he had no super powers, John settled for just pulling his arm back and hitting the mesh wall. And all that achieved was for his fist so sink in like he was pushing gently against a marshmallow as the mesh weird thing where it stretched around his fist.   When he pulled his fist back out he watched the mesh droop oddly for a moment and slowly retake its correct shape as a tight mesh wall.   Amazon technology was freaky, and this was just a normal mesh that they used to keep their littles contained.   Spotting his pacy just laying next to him he picked it up and made a game of throwing it at the mesh wall. After several bored minutes of throwing the pacy at the mesh and getting it to bounce back almost exactly into his hand he decided to try and catch it with his mouth.   He got himself smacked in the forehead with it and suddenly didn’t enjoy this game anymore.   Realizing that he was never going to put a dent in this playpen, literally, John sat down and looked at the two books he’d been given. One was his usual favorite with the robots, and the other one just looked like some sort of activity book.   Thumbing through the activity book, he found a page that looked like a full page of a pattern. It was like looking at a fractal version of art deco.   With nothing better to do, it was a simple decision to grab a random color pencil and start filling in patterns.   While getting started, he started to realize that this was actually going to be more challenging than he thought it would. The patterns were small and intricate.   Stopping, he flipped through the book and took a closer look. And sure enough, every single activity looked childish, but the difficulty had been turned up on every one of them.   “Huh.” was all he said to himself as he bunched up the big towel and propped up his chest on it as he got comfortable with his feet up, idling kicking the mesh behind him as he filled it in.   John started to feel like he was getting pulled into the patterns as he followed them. Something about the way they swirled and twisted started to seem almost hypnotic. Within five minutes of starting the entire world tuned itself out.   In what seemed like a blur of time he felt his shoulder being shaken and looked up.   Mommy was looking down at him and asking something.   Trying to ask what, he realized that at some point he had put his pacifier back into his mouth. And he hadn’t even noticed that he’d been sucking on it.   “Waff?” was all he managed around the rubber bulb in his mouth.   Smiling very patiently, she repeated herself “I asked if you are done with your puzzle pattern. Would you like to come out of the playpen now?”   Suddenly snapping out of it, he closed the activity book and tried to stand up, only to realize that, yet again, his rough pup diaper had swollen out sideways.   John was secretly starting to wonder is the slogan on the package that said they would never sag was a cover story for making littles have to crawl around when they’re wet.   But Mommy was there watching him try to get up, and she just got him under the arms and hoisted him up gently onto her side.   As he was laid down on the changing table he tried to pull the pacy out only for it to inflate as the padded bars flopped across his chest. With a moment of panic, he started trying to pull harder and twist it.   Mommy stopped his hands before he could pull too hard and whispered softly “Suck on the pacy, it will deflate.”   Stopping to focus for a moment, he started to suck on the pacy like he was nursing and it deflated, and even tingled pleasantly for a moment before stopping.   He must have had a confused look on his face when he asked “Why iff wocked?” around the pacy in his mouth.   Mommy’s face filled his view as she leaned down to kiss him on the cheek before she explained “You put that in your mouth while you were playing and at some point you must have bitten it. That turned on the training mode.”   As she opened his diaper and set about cleaning him up, he asked “Why twannih mobe on?”   While she lifted his lower body by his ankles and scrubbed him thoroughly she explained patiently.   “Well, it’s a training pacy. If you say a bad word, it helps you learn not to do that. If you bite a nipple…” And she trailed off while she fluffed out a fresh diaper with one hand and slid it underneath him.   Restarting as she powdered him, she continued “If you bite a nipple, would you expect a good result, or a bad result?”   “Uhhhh Bab… babb...bab wesull” Now he was starting to get irritated by the lisp the pacy was giving him.   Oblivious to his irritation as she patiently did up all four of the wide tapes on the fresh rough pup diaper, Mommy just kept going “If you suckle nicely on a nipple, you get a good result, right?”   “Yeth.”   Now with the diaper change complete, she smirked for a moment before she leaned over and blew A GREAT BIG RASPBERRY on his stomach.   Squealing with laughter and suddenly trying to twist side to side to escape the sudden onslaught left him flailing and his whole body moving to the point his feet were kicking the padded top of the changing table underneath him.   When she finally stopped she was giggling herself and smiled down at him.   “Laughter is good, and the pacy will reward that. Does it feel pleasant right now?”   John had to take a moment to catch his breath so that he could focus to pay attention, and sure enough it was tingling pleasantly. It felt distractedly good now that he noticed it. So he nodded up at her.   With a return nod, she explained “Laughter is good, it lightens the mood. So it is rewarded. Now try saying something rude. Like shout something like ‘Bad Mommy” at me.   There was an apprehensive look plastered all over his face until her fingers came down toward his armpits.   So he shouted “BAD MOMMFFFffff” and he didn’t even get the second word out of his mouth before it inflated more than he had ever felt it inflate before. It wasn’t painful, but it somehow felt like it took the exact shape of the inside of his mouth inside of his teeth and then gripped them.   He couldn’t even try to open his jaw, it was stuck just partially open. Again, it wasn’t painful in any way, but it was freaking him out because he couldn’t move his jaw to even attempt more than a grunting sound.   As his hands flew up in a panic to grab at the shield, Mommy was there and caught his hands between thumb and forefinger and held them away from the shield just before he could grab it.   “Shhh, shhh, don’t touch it or you’ll activate the timer. Let Mommy tap it first.”   And she waited a moment for him to calm down a little before she tapped the front of the pacy twice. It immediately deflated back to normal.   “Whyy iff do dah????”   Now he could feel a bump on the changing table and the bars popped back upright. Immediately he was hoisted up against Mommy’s chest and she started to gently stroke his back.   “Think about it for a moment and see if you can tell me why.”   For several moments images from his past week flipped through his mind as he thought. The images of littles at the stores clawing at their face trying to pull a pacy out of their mouth. But also of the little girl at the checkout line next to them that seemed just as happy as could be with her pacy.   Taking a guess, he said “Uhhh… po peach … feach…” with a deep breath he sucked on the pacy for a moment and it seemed to let him speak more easily for a few seconds   “To … teach … wittles nof to be wude?” It wasn’t perfect, but it was as clear as he was likely to get to speak at the moment.   With a kiss on the cheek, Mommy said proudly “I love how I can always tell when you’re thinking by the look on your face. Yes, sometimes littles just need a bit of help learning to use better words to get what they want. Some littles take a bit more time to learn that than others. Others, like yourself, don’t have a problem with using bad words, so they just get the pleasant feelings all the time.”   So lost in thought was he in that moment, that he barely registered that she was not walking through the living room with him until he felt his butt lowered onto the kitchen counter.   Mommy then interrupted his train of thought by pulling the pacy out of his mouth and asking:   “Okay. You finished your sippy cup like a good boy and you looked like you were even having fun. Are you over your hatred of the big mean playpen?”   With a straight face, he said “No.”   Head tilting to one side now she asked “No? Still hate it?”   Now nodding he said simply “Yes.”   “Were you bored in there?”   “… not really.”   Now poking him she asked “Would you have done the same things if you had been on the floor?”   Hesitating a moment, he finally answered “...Yes.”   Now with a nod like the conversation was over, Mommy said “Good. You will be fine. When company comes over, the playpen will get used every so often. When Mommy has to focus for an hour here or there, it will get used then.”   “So …” just thinking out loud he asked “What if I just climb out of the playpen?”   He immediately cringed at the look on her face as she said “Then you’ll never do it a second time.”   He could only nod up at her.   As her face softened she went back into her explaining tone again “John. Most littles spend seven or more hours a day in their playpen. You just spent an hour and a half after your nap. Would you prefer the amount of time most littles spend?”   Immediately he was shaking his head.   “Good. Now dinner is in a few hours, are you hungry for a snack?”   “Cookie!”   With a sigh she said “Cookie after dinner if you’re good. What would you like now?”   “Double cookie!”   Rolling her eyes, she said “Mango it is.”   “Mango cookie?”   Instead of answering, she just picked him up from the counter and placed him on the floor as she went to the fridge.   A couple minutes later he was in his booster seat and faced with a saucer piled up with half of a mango cut up into cubes.   Looking around for a fork, it looked like one was not coming, so he settled for just picking them up between thumb and forefinger and popping them into his mouth.   Maybe it was this world or something but this mango tasted great!   Remembering his manners, John said “This is really good!”   Putting down a sippy cup of water, Amanda kissed him on the forehead and said “I’m glad that nice lady at the grocery store had some samples for you. Dinner will be in a few hours, so eat up and we’ll get you cleaned up.   About ten minutes later John found himself staring at the last cube of mango and had to take a deep sigh to prepare himself to finish off the last one. Moments after finishing it up mommy came over and said “Alley oop” as she picked him up and carried him to the sink.   He got to wash his hands in the kitchen sink that he now randomly realized that he probably could have sat in and taken a bath if he wanted to.   Now that he was fed (again) and cleaned (also again) she put him back down and swatted him on the tush and said “You’ve been good all day, and I've got something for you to try for dinner. Until then, I think we could use a quiet afternoon.”   With a shrug John wandered through the living room to grab his tablet on the way to his bedroom. He could tell that Mom was letting in the dog because he heard the door, then the child gate, then the glass door followed by the sound of a dog doing a full body shake.   As he sat down at his desk he found himself with a face full of dog and had to pet and play with Xerxes for a half an hour just to calm him down.   Eventually he sat down at his desk and with every intention of flipping through books, he couldn’t help opening up his drawing pad and going back to coloring in his mock up of the back yard. It wasn’t perfect by the time he was done, but he felt incredibly proud of it.   Looking at his desk next to him, at some point Mommy had put a sippy cup there by him. Knowing that she full and well expected him to have already had some of it, he picked it up to have some water, only to notice that when he spaced out he had somehow put the pacy back in his mouth.   It felt tingly and pleasant, but he was relieved to find that it let him pull it out.   Leaving the pacy hanging from the strap on his shirt, he grabbed his drawing pad in one hand, and his cup in the other and wandered to the living room to ask Mommy what she thinks, only to find her in her office chair on the phone.   She was nodding intently as she waited her turn to speak.   “Yes Mom, I kno… Mom I … Yes Mom I know that I should h… Mom, he hasn’t had all of his vacci… I … Mom no, Mom I sai…TODDLER Mom, Tod… MOM! I … Yes, I know. Mom, Dad has work tomor… you already made him take the day off? Mom! No Mom, Listen, he has … No, there’s a folded up comforter on the floor and he finds it very comfort… Well no he doesn’t have any toys tha… Mom would you let me finish a sen… of course you wo… Mom you can’t just … NO I HAVE NO PLAY HOU… ”   It was impossible to help himself, he stood there through all fifteen minutes watching HIS Mom get fussed at by HER Mom.   And it obviously involved him so he just used his step stool to climb up onto the couch and watched the show, waiting patiently.   Finally when it all started to wind down, she got to say a few complete sentences.   “Yes Mom, I love you too. You’re going to love him, he’s just the sweetest thing.”   “Oh, he’s turning into quite the little artist, too! I’m going to have to get him some more drawing pads.”   “Mom don’t buy a lot. Mom, please just come meet him. ONE toy, Mom.”   “Yes Mom, I know Dad is going to insist on cooking.”   “Okay, John seems to like chicken, but I’m going to try shrimp tonight. I have ingredients for Shrimp Stir Fry.”   “Mom why would you even ask if I’m putting peppers in his?”   And finally she said “Okay Mom, I love you too. Tell Dad I love him and I’ll see you both tomorrow.”   After she hung up the phone she took a long, deep calming breath and after she exhaled, she turned to John with a great big smile.   “Hey sweety! What did you draw?”   Clearly very amused by the change of subject, John held up the drawing pad to show her the finished product of the mock up he had done. Sure, it didn’t look like some super smooth computer rendering, and it had the occasional imperfection. But it looked like a yard. And that was pretty cool to him.   Smiling from ear to ear now, Mommy scooped John up into a hug and gave him a kiss on the forehead.   “John, this looks great! We’re going to have to sneak this out of your drawing pad gently so we can use it for inspiration when we work on the yard in a few months!”   THAT got him blushing. “I mean, it’s not that good.”   That got him a muffled thump on his padded bottom as she fussed at him “None of that, I like what you’ve done with this!”   After she looked over the picture for a moment, seeming to fully memorize it, John couldn’t take it anymore. He had to break the ice.   “So … Who was on the phone?” He asked coyly.   Mommy seemed to sprout a nervous smile before explaining “You get to meet you MeMaw and PawPaw tomorrow!”

Hi The Furry One is my discord name

I lead you to my room as I take some simple measurements, I get over to a sowing machine grabbing some wool of many colors as I hum and get to work telling you to turn around as i sow i present a cute Eevee outfit

Soaked the Mermaids from Saturday night, Sunday morning. Got my stash sorted out. Changed into a Tranquility Slimline for church. Got home, soaked that before changing into a Rearz Dinorawrz, slept in that and wore for the duration of Sunday night👉Monday morning. Went to bed early because I was going to be up Monday afternoon for a meeting at work, among other things. Put on an Attends pull-up for the meeting before putting on a Tranquility Slimline for everything afterwards. Currently in a Bambino Pull-Up I got Saturday.  My stomach is definitely running the show tonight.   I miss those Pull-ups and wish I would have bought more.