id0ntknow Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 I don't know exactly how this is going to look. I wonder if there is something wrong with me sometimes. I am 28 years old, have never had a relationship once, and can't really even talk about relationships or sex with anyone. People at work are always joking that I'll be happier once I find a girl, but I can't even bring myself to try because of fear of rejection. This is do in large part to being a DL, brony, and honestly, and fear of having sex if that time came. I feel like I can't even talk to women, often times I start stuttering and stumbling over my words even if I'm talking with people I trust. I get frustrated with myself when doing this, and that just compounds the problem, and makes it worse. Part of me wants to have a relationship, but the other probably 95% of me is too scared of looking like an idiot. It doesn't seem to help that I very rarely drink alcohol, and so I've never had a desire to go to a bar, or even worse for me, a strip club. Sometimes I want to take my knives to myself, but stop because I have very little pain tolerance. Even with that, I do like to bleed, and if I have a cut or something I like to watch the blood come out.I don't know why exactly, but it seems like it calms me down or something. I do what I can to put myself into a happy head space, which usually involves a handful of things. The main things I do to calm down are watch My Little Pony (either episodes or fan videos), go bowling (usually once a week at league), go fishing (also not often), or go to the gun range (seldom since ammo is expensive). Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 I have experienced one accidental discharge- mine was a cap-and-ball replica and luckily it only hurt my pride. Hopefully you have learned the lesson why you treat every gun as if it is loaded, no exceptions allowed ever Also like you I wasn't seeking sex at that age, My one experience wasn't what I'd expected and it wasn't important to me anyway. Later on in life I discovered why, but really there's nothing to fear about this. We all stumble when we begin a new path so if you want to go there just do it and maybe ask advice from someone with more experience on how to go forward. Speaking with a counselor or therapist might help you get through this. You don't yet see how this world works and that kind of wisdom only comes with time and personal experience. I was in my late 30's before I got my head straight and now I see where I should have done that sooner. Yoiu can have the life you want but you have to make it happen- it will not happen otherwise. Life can be good bit only if you live it :). Bettypooh Link to comment
NewGuy20 Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 Hi id0ntknow, Its possible (maybe likely) that you are suffering from depression. I know this because I myself suffer from depression. When you're feeling down; Link to comment
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