GatorMan

So this isn't much of a depression post but I don't really know where else to put it. (mods and or admin please help me on that one thanks) Anyway, is it normal for me to want a motherly woman but wife type of love? Like, I want a girlfreind but I want her to have a nurturing love because I feel like I didn’t have it long enough when I was actually a child and I don’t really know why. I’m or saying I want her to role play with me I just want her to altogether love me that way. Like a protection kind of thing like, if I’m going to do something and she sees it’s a stupid choice so she tells me I shouldn’t do it Becuase she’s trying to protect me from something happening to me. I want to be supported. Is this type of feeling normal for a man, or do I need to feel more indipendent because that feels like too much stress and it has actually created a lot of anxiety in me which is why I regress and hat really helps me.

I just think I won't care what they think. After all I'm not here to please them I'm here to please God. (weather you believe or not)

Look first I want to say I do believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins and nobody or anything will ever be able to shake that. That's out the way now you know that in case you are too and you have some input for me. Anyway, I'm down because my life is a mess. I'm irrisponsible, I don't pay any bills where I live, I make an ass out of myself and km very thankful. Everyone is tired of me. In the year of 2017, my entire family and all of my friends found out I was an ”ABDL” which is extremely embarrassing because now there's no secret and I can't really live in discretion of one of the only things that makes me feel happy. Not to mention today is the first day in almost a year that iv started wearing diapers again. Anyway, my life is a mess. Every secret or feeling I have had has come out and everyone knows how stupid I are. I feel like I want to just not live anymore. There's no point when every person is judging me because the more they judge me the more I'm down and therefor it makes me more of an ass. (pardon the French). What do I do? How can I secretly be an ABDL when everyone knows I'm an ABDL? How do I live my life without anyone asking ”is that a box of diapers” when I get them delivered. Im just very down right now. I wish j had a girlfriend.