KimiM

I haven't started yet, hopefully by the en of the month though. It's just been a really rough month. I'm just mentally exhausted. Last night was just to much. Everything was seeming to go south, my Minecraft world (that I've been working on for a year) got corrupted and my phone kept crashing. I know it's just stuff, but it was just one more thing on top of everything that's been going on in my head, it just got too much. I'm feeling a little better today, but my nerves are still on end, and I feel like I'm need to stay on guard.

How can you live with other people and still feel alone, and unwanted. Probably just my depresion kicking in extra hard, but I feel like nobody wants me around. Like they'd all be better off without me in their lives. Like I can never do, or be good enough. I probably hate myself more then anyone I live with does, and I know all this is in my head, but it doesn't stop me from feeling this way. I want to f***ing die, and put everyone out of their misery. I feel like I'm just a burden on everybody.

I feel numb, and unloved. Just a total wreck at the moment. Hate this feeling.

I'm glad you found her.

Hugz, I hope they find her safe and well.

So, I'm gonna be starting HRT soon, and was wondering what I can expect. I know the technical side, but I don't know anyone that's gone through it, so I don't know the what kinds of mental, and emotional effects there might be. I would like some insight, if anybody can help.

I don't really know what else to say about it. I'm tired of everything. Tired feeling like nobody cares. Tired of trying to stay strong. Tired of faking a smile. Tired of drama. Tired of just playing along. I'm so tired of all the fake ass people that I have to deal with every day. I just wanna give up, it feels like to much weight. I feel like I'm suffocating.

Anybody else playing yugioh duel links, and wanna duel?

Yes, I'm okay............ well, as okay as I can be. I appreciate you checking up on me again, it really seams to have brightened my mood a bit. Thank you for caring.

Physically, yes I'm fine, and none of the way I feel has to do with any kind of media. I don't have a tv that can pick up digital signals, nor do I have cable, so I don't watch the news, and haven't in a long time. I haven't been on Facebook in almost 3 months either, nor do I pay any attention to politics. The bad I see is in my every day life, and it's the norm for me. I was brought up in some of the darkest conditions you can "raise" someone in . My"father" (whom I have no respect for) kept me locked in a trunk until I was 14, (the only time he would let me out was to beat me for one of my siblings getting him mad) and even then I wasn't allowed out of the house. I'm 31 now, and I've only been able to interact with the world around me for 11 years. I've been hoping to see something other the pain, misery, and strife, but all I can see is hate in the streets. I was asking, mainly because I wanted to know if there was any good out there at all, because I've never seen it. The fact that you all answered, and even checked in to see if I was okay let me know that there are good people out there, and that just made me smile for the first time in years.

Is there anybody out there that really cares about someone other than themseves? I'm so sick of only hearing bad news. I'm just about done with all the crap that goes on, on a daily basis. Fed up with lieing, and backstabbing people. About to close off my heart for good cause nothing good has ever come from caring.

Any duelest (Yu-Gi-Oh, or Magic players) in the Erie area willing to meet up for a game?

As the day draws nearer, I can't help but think of how bad it has always been for me. In school nobody ever gave me anything, except the things I gave them. Now that I'm an adult(for lack of a better term) I haven't faired much better. Everyone I've had in my life(2) have left me on this day, and I have grown to despise it as a result. Am I alone in my sorrows? Is there really anybody that gives a crap about me? Am I destined to walk this world alone for my whole life? Is there even a point to being happy?

Hello, my name is Kimi. I've just recently started letting me be myself, I've been fighting it too long, and it was gonna be, let me be me, or.........well, I'd rather not think about that. Sorry for mentioning that. I'm trans (MTF), and I really don't know what else to say. My life up to this point has been hell, and I'm really hoping that being myself will make it a little easier. Look forward to making friends.