Sissy Room

Well that was certainly fun.  Feels so short, but in another way it feels just right.

Hey everyone! Sorry for the late posting, but family birthday celebrations and getting sick right after does not make for the best of editing mindsets. For perspective, I wrote the final little bit of this chapter last night, and despite being only about three paragraphs long, it took me almost 40 minutes. Oh well, but the nice thing is that due to a few plans being pushed or cancelled, I should be able to pop out several more chapters in a row. If everything goes how I want it to, this story should be complete by next week sometime. And for those wondering or just reading about the Diaper Dimension, just to clarify, in the DD, it’s often canon for Bigs to go a little crazy with their Littles once they begin to bond with them. Breastfeeding only speeds this process up, and I know most of my caregivers have been nice to their Littles in past stories, but they are usually the exception to the rule. So, before anyone goes to think that Nancy was replaced with a robot or something like that, she was a good person, but bonding with Emma has brought out her more negative personality. I clarify about a few things in this chapter and the next few, so just keep reading and questions will be answered. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 11: Life Can Be Both Terrible and Fun Sometimes A battle had begun in the one place that was supposed to be safe. After so long fighting with mainly Nurse Bee, she was now gone, and Nancy had resorted to other methods to fill in the gaps of her absence. The ‘Tanassum’ crate had contained enough FOY to last up to a year and my nightly absorption of the lighthouse all took its toll on me. If it wasn’t for my renewed progress at the daycare, I had no doubt that I would have ended up back in the Burrows room once more by now. So, yes, I was at least grateful that I wasn’t locked-in as I once was, but now, my progress seemed to yo-yo based on the time of day. In the late nights and early mornings, I was losing progress. Concepts became simpler and lessons just learned seemed to vanish in a puff. During the day though, I surged ahead and struggled to relearn and hold onto what I could. It was exhausting, but I knew I just couldn’t give up. Not now after I had been through so much already. Maybe ten years ago, I probably would have just sunk into the muck of the fate that Nancy now clearly wanted for me. I knew it was her hormones playing havoc with her personality on one level, but that existence didn’t appeal to me whatsoever. So fortunately for me, in recent years with movements like the pro-Little societies cropping up everywhere, more Bigs were becoming amenable to keeping Littles safe. And, while nothing is a guarantee in this society, I felt that Nancy was pushing her luck with how she was treating me. I felt that it was just a matter of time until something happened to change my life, but until then, I just had to endure the cycle. Being Sunday, the weekend cycle was much worse than those days when I went to daycare. There was no reprieve for me or surge of my faculties. From Friday afternoon to Monday morning, it was all FOY shots, lighthouse trances, and Nancy’s little games with me. The games had begun when Nurse Bee was around, but Nancy had amped them to a completely different level now. Anything I did was scrutinized and either praised or punished, accumulating or being doled out right on the spot. Sometimes this meant that I could receive a treat or a massive spanking at night, but both boiled down to just how much of a Little I acted like. It didn’t take long for me to try and emulate being the best Little I could around her, whether I liked it or not. “Morning, baby,” Nancy said deceptively sweetly as she flicked on my nursery lights and came over to me. Her tone was very sweet, it always was in the mornings lately, but I knew by now it was only that way due to her satisfaction that she knew that now would likely be the time I was most regressed for the whole day. As a result of the lighthouse and some lingering effects from nursing from her the previous night, all I really could manage to say back, was “Na-eee,” in my attempt to call out her name and just proceed with the day. She knew what I was trying to say, but she wanted to milk my current state for all it was worth. “Oh? I didn’t quite catch that, honey. I think someone’s just a little too little right now to form any big girl words, huh? Oh well! Mommy’s got you, baby. Let mommy fix everything, okay?” I remained motionless and silent as Nancy soon picked me up and hauled me over to the changing table. Nancy referring to herself as my ‘mommy’ only occurred in private, but it still bugged me. There was a reason she kept that type of name private as technically, she was still only my caregiver based on state law. She hadn’t adopted me, and with some of the new laws, portal Littles couldn’t be immediately adopted anymore. I still had to be under her care for another month at least until something like that occurred. So, until then, she should have just referred to herself as ‘Nancy’ to me. As I was laid down on the changing table and Nancy began to undo my sleeper from last night to get at my likely heavily soiled diaper, I knew the only exception to the general ‘mommy rule’ was if I referred to her as such, as Nancy referring to herself as my ‘mommy’ was considered a breach of consent. Even in this messed up society, consent was getting to be an important notion for factors like that. So, as such, a regressed Little commenting themselves over the title of their caregiver was just seen as cute. “Oh my!” Nancy exclaimed as she began to peel back the layer of my onesie to reveal my diaper underneath. “Someone’s got a smelly tushie. Yes they do! Yes they do!” I squirmed in discomfort over the notion of my once again heavily soiled diaper. Our nightly nursing sessions had essentially pulverized any hope I had of ever getting out of diapers again by now, and part of me had even accepted that, but I still hated how Nancy always made sure to emphasize it. She then patted my butt, and I could just make out the squish down there. “Ooh! Someone made a big old messy for mommy to clean up. I bet you can’t even really feel that though anymore, can you? Can you even smell it anymore?” She grinned and knew full-well that I couldn’t anymore. It didn’t even take long, but when one’s diaper is nearly constantly wet and those types of smells just become your everyday world, one has very little choice but to get used to them. “I’ll take that as a no, huh? Just like a little baby…” I squirmed in hatred of the woman above me and just willed the time away as she proceeded to change my diaper. It was so strange how I once held her in such esteem, and her hormones causing the change or not, I knew she had crossed a line a long time ago. I doubted that I ever really could forgive her for still trying to turn me back to how I used to be. Regardless, some quick wipes and Nancy soon popped me over to the bath. I could at least feel my limbs and neurons firing back again, so I wasn’t fearful of drowning like I used to be but being so naked and scrubbed thoroughly by Nancy with my bath, it was still one of my least favorite activities. I think by now I would probably kill someone or eat the vilest of mush in exchange if I could just be able to luxuriate during a bath once more in life. Instead, I was stuck with the rough-scrubbing Nancy who made sure to still comment on my helplessness and babyish lifestyle every chance she could. Still, the moment was soon over, and after a quick rediapering back in my nursery, Nancy selected out a multi-colored checkered summer dress that barely went down to my knees. Between the high waist and billowing shorter hem of the dress, I knew full well that it would practically be a miracle if I didn’t flash my diapers off at least once today. My only consolation with the outfit though was the frilled straps at the top and the small white sandals she then attached to my feet. Being a Sunday, I knew the park was a guaranteed trip and I knew that I at least wouldn’t be sweating all day. With a little peck on my forehead, Nancy then picked me up and carried me downstairs to my awaiting highchair for breakfast. Of all her new little habits with me at home, this was actually one I didn’t mind too much. When I was just walking about normally, the stairs were a pain, but doable. Now, with my less than stellar coordination and balance plus the addition of my thick diaper, the stairs were one difficulty that I was just happy to avoid now in my life.   And that’s I think why all this rubbed me the wrong way. See, my time in this dimension had a severe and profound impact on my life. Whether I wanted it originally or not, I knew that things would never be the same. My attention span had definitely dropped, my reading ability was still subpar, and my potty training… well, there was none. So, I knew I needed help in my life now, but Nancy didn’t want to help me. I mean I guess on one level she did, but she more wanted to control or dominate me now. If she only assisted me in life and occasionally held my hand when I got scared, I would be okay with that type of existence, but scenes like the one at breakfast showed me that she just wanted more power over me.   “Open wide, baby. Let Mommy feed you your num-nums this morning,” she tempted me as she waved the purple rubbed coated spoon in front of me, now loaded with a heaping of peach and spinach. The peach addition made it bearable, but Nancy’s baby talk to me made this one of the low points in my day. On the other hand, I knew if I didn’t comply, my bottom would soon find itself red and blistered from even the guaranteed spanking that would follow. Not seeing any other option, I opened my mouth to accept the revolting mush that was my breakfast.   “Oh, that’s it. Someone wants to be mommy’ best behaved little girl, huh?” She scooped inside the jar again. “Now, open up for mommy again, baby.” I complied with her demands again, and so the routine went. She would command and I would obey. For someone like the new Nancy, this power dynamic seemed to almost thrill her to no end. For me, it was torture, but for her, it was a game. Often, she would even ‘accidentally’ miss my mouth and smear it with the goop or have it land back down on my now ever-present bib. “All done!” Nancy finally announced as I swallowed the last of the revolting mixture. She then produced a baby wipe and roughly removed the remaining residue over my mouth. “Stop squirming Emma, or should I get Mister Spanky out again?” she asked, her eyes quickly turning fiery, using her name for ‘big sting.’ Not wanting to give her another excuse to punish me, I quickly shook my head and then remained absolutely still. Nancy smiled back wickedly. “That’s a good girl for mommy. Isn’t it just so much easier to do what I say?” I didn’t say a word, but in my head, I just wanted to fight back with all I had. I wanted to leave Nancy for good by now, but for the life of me, I didn’t know how. So, as a result, any hope of escape or transfer to another caregiver was fading a little more with each passing day.    My stomach soon wretched as it digested the mush that had been deposited there. Nancy picked me up and plopped me in the baby bouncer she had erected in the family room for me. I could toddle around inside it, but I absolutely hated how my diaper rode up right where I didn’t want it to. Nancy turned on the TV and then looked back at me. “Okay, baby. You finish this bottle and watch your show while mommy goes and eats and cleans in the kitchen. Just cry if you need anything.” Not expecting a response and likely even hoping that I would cry for her, she left the bottle in front of me and retreated back to the kitchen. I quickly began to down the milky substance before me. Despite the mixture being presented in a baby bottle, I eagerly took it to wash down all the filth that remained in mouth. The grainy texture and odd combination of the baby food from my breakfast was a lot to take in at once, but the bottle, filled with who knows what, was at least a tiny reprieve. My stomach soon bloated, and I knew that my currently at least relatively clean diaper wouldn’t last much longer. A short time later, Nancy was finished in the kitchen, and I was done with my bottle. As she prepared for our traditional outing to the park, where Nancy would meet with some of the other strict caregivers she had met since her new persona had emerged, I sat back and watched more of Princess Poppy. Now, I was at least glad I could follow the story plots more than I once did. Before my shot at the zoo, I would only understand about half of it, and my attention would quickly deviate. Lately, it had been one of my few mercies here at home away from Nancy where I could just forget all my troubles, even if only for a moment. “Okay, baby. Daylight is wasting! Come on!” In seconds, Nancy plucked me out of my bouncer and placed me in my new stroller before heading outside. She had purchased the contraption after I started moving around more. Before, she was often too busy, and I was too immobile to really go outside safely. Now, she wanted to show me off to the other caregivers at the park. Since I got freedom out of it, I never put up a fuss, despite the infantile look that Nancy had heaped upon me within moments. Arriving at the park, Nancy unstrapped me and let me run about a little bit. I wasn’t exactly sure of her plan today, but as my bowels clenched and I dropped on all fours, that wasn’t the case anymore. Her plan was simple but effective as my diaper soon sagged and ballooned outward as I messed myself helplessly. Sadly, while before I would have whimpered or even cried, I knew I had no control whatsoever now, so dirtying my diapers was just part of my routine now. I just braced for the embarrassment I knew was sure to come. “Awww, look at that. Babygirl’s makin’ a messy right in her diapie,” Nancy cooed at me as she looked on with a look of absolute glee. She had to clean me up and that was always a nice consolation, but once again, I knew she wouldn’t afford me any dignity in it either as I saw her set the changing mat right on top of the picnic table. As I finished and Nancy soon retrieved me from the ground, I thought back to all the times I once protested this type of treatment. While I always detested the changing stalls, they at least afforded me some privacy. Being out here in the open, I knew that anyone watching would forever identify me as a helpless baby. I guess to some extent I was now, but privacy was something my at least somewhat adult mind still craved. It was one of the few things that I gained back after the shot from Omega Force that I had not enjoyed. A flip up of my short dress and the scritching of the tapes on my diapers was my cue to shut my eyes and just block everything out. Nancy would try to take every opportunity to clean me up and humiliate me as much as possible while she changed my diaper. Closing my eyes though got everything done relatively quickly. If they were open however, Nancy was sure to show me my previously loaded diaper and belittle me as nothing but a baby with her evidence prominently displayed before me. I didn’t want to give her that satisfaction. “Oh! What a big load you deposited!” Nancy exclaimed as she unfolded my diaper down and lifted my legs high to begin the wiping process. Closing my eyes prevented some humiliation, but Nancy’s persistence still shone through more often than I would like. “Such a smelly, smelly little baby I have on my hands. Good thing I got these extra absorbent diapers for you, huh?” I didn’t respond back, and by now, I knew that Nancy didn’t expect me to either. It was almost a bargain between us of sorts, and it was one I respected to the letter. Less interactions with her meant less ammo she could use on me later if I ever made a mistake or broke one of her numerous rules. Still, her heavy use of creams and baby powders didn’t go unnoticed by me, but I just endured it all as she soon wrapped me back up in a thick diaper and helped me sit up. I opened my eyes and was just thankful a crowd hadn’t gathered around this week. Last Sunday, I couldn’t say the same, but from the group of Bigs I had seen Nancy with last week, that possibility had only been a near miss as they were approaching once more. I wondered if Nancy was disappointed that she couldn’t humiliate me in that way this week. It was a small victory to disrupt her likely plans, but it was still something for my fragile mind to hold onto in this world. Sensing the others coming over and the likelihood of them making my life difficult, I knew I had to take my shot in escaping first. “Nancy? Can I go expwowin?” Nancy looked up from her reorganization of my pink diaper bag and gave me a look that almost seemed to scream ‘no.’ Determined though, I added, “It’ll jus’ be neawby. I pwomise.” Nancy sighed but ultimately nodded her head. “Okay, baby. Not too far. Don’t go beyond the playground on one side or the hill on the other. Got it?” I quickly nodded in acceptance of the nice but relatively small area she had give me to work with today. She then helped me off the picnic table, but before I could toddle off and to my freedom, Nancy grasped my shoulder and spun me back around to face her. “No wondering off, Emma. I mean it. Don’t tempt my patience today if you know what’s good for your bum tonight.” I quickly nodded and just as her friends arrived, she smiled and let me go. It was just in the nick of time too as I saw many of the pro-Big women begin to gather around and gossip with Nancy. “Oh my! Did the little miss dirty her britches?” “I don’t understand why you let her run off like that. Immobile Littles are so much better!” “Ever think of taking her to the doctor and getting a few modifications done? I’ve heard it’s all the rage now in Atlanta!” Each of their comments froze me to my core. Seeing their Littles one day was enough to send anyone into a depression of their own. Having been here for years under their sadistic rule, most, if not all, were heavily scarred and mentally regressed. If any of them knew their names, I would have been surprised. So, wanting to stay as far or as out of sight of them as I could, I soon ducked behind some bushes. “Emma…” I spun around and tried to look for the source of where the faint, but clear, noise had come from. For a moment, I thought I was going crazy, but I heard it again. “Emma… go in the bushes, Emma… Don’t worry about Nancy, Emma… Follow my voice.” Okay, now before this world, I would have either been adamantly against going or just straight up run away from something like that happening to me. In a world of seemingly magical stuffy’s, adults being treated like babies, and portal travel though, my imagination and trust of the unexplained or odd was never higher. So, curious, I followed the voice a little more until I came to a different bush a little closer to the playground this time. I then parted some of the branches in front of me and walked into the bush. Inside was cramped for a moment, but to my surprise, the untangled space of the interior soon grew bigger to the point where I could have probably almost stood up. Instead, two clusters of odd-looking leaves and twigs turned around. “Hello, Emma. How are you today?” “Bree!” I shouted in relief over seeing the commander of Omega Force once again. I felt I owed her everything in gaining my mind and many of my abilities back in such a short period of time. The daycare would have eventually worked, but their shot gave me the edge I had needed over Nancy’s sinister plans for me now. “It’s good to see you again, Emma,” she said smiling at me, her camo outfit slightly rustling in the breeze passing through the bush right then. “I see you’ve taken well to our shot… though… maybe not as well as we might have hoped you would have by now.”   “All in the clear, ma’am” Martinez noted behind her. He too wore a complete camo suit as he listened in on his radio and used a camera clearly perched above the bush likely to keep an eye on other Bigs and even Nancy for me. “Thank you, Martinez.” She then turned back to me. “So, what’s happening? Can you report anything since we last met?” I nodded and explained everything about what had happened since the zoo. “… an’ Nancy has jus’ been getting’ mo’ nasty to me evuh since Nuwse Bee lef’ an’ then gave her the dwugs.” “Hmmm…” Bree mused. “Our reports said the same, but do you remember the drug she gave to Nancy, and that I’m assuming is now being given to you?” I nodded again. “Yes. Ih was FOY.” I could tell that Bree instantly recognized the name. “I’m sorry to hear that. That stuff is nasty to any Little taking it. Very potent and even a street drug in some forms. I honestly think it’s a minor miracle you haven’t gone permanently over the edge if she’s really injecting you with it every night… and you said nursing as well?” I nodded. “Geez. You must be very tough or have a guardian in your corner somewhere to have been so resistant to all that muck.” I thought back to my magical stuffy, Patch. I knew he had to be behind my near miraculous continued recovery since Nancy had begun her evil work on me. I couldn’t prove it and every time I told someone about him, they just laughed. So, I just stopped telling people directly or even caring about the why at this point. I really just cared that it still happened and kept me sane against what Nancy was doing to me. As long as Patch remained my stuffy at daycare, I felt I was still at least somewhat safe. “And you said earlier that you weren’t sure where Nurse Bee had gone off to?” Bree asked after a moment fo entering a few things into the computer on her wrist. I nodded. “Yeah… jus’ some pwace called Jimbo? Jingles? Juvenile?” My memory was still spotty in places unfortunately. “Wait,” Bree stopped me in mid-sentence. “Do you mean Juventas?” I quickly nodded and Bree’s face lit up. “That’s wonderful, Emma. That’s good work. Very helpful for our other branches to track her down.” I felt so happy to be receiving praise for once outside of the daycare lately. I used to get new compliments and praise all the time from Nancy, but that hadn’t happened in so long unless I had done something particularly babyish. It was still better than her alternative attitude toward me, but not by much, especially when one of those instances was me helplessly going potty in my diaper. “Boss…” Martinez started up, while still watching the little device in front of them. “Nancy has started to look around. I don’t think we have very long.” Bree nodded at her communications specialist and then turned back to me. “I know all this is difficult Emma, but I just want you to hold on. We’re trying to see if we can find a way all around this where we can get you safely out from Nancy at this point, but we keep hitting some roadblocks.” I sighed, but it was still some bit of hope. “Danks fo’ at weas twyin’.” Bree smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “I know all this must be challenging to deal with, and it’s even harder now that Nancy is in her Big psychosis state of mind,” she explained. “It’s not recognized officially yet, but Bigs hormones can go crazy after they bond with their chosen Little. It can radically change their personality, and while some become only kinder and more caring, others can become stricter and more controlling. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you which Nancy has become…” Sadly, no, she did not. Bree then shifted and I could tell that her and Martinez soon had to leave. “You’re doing good work for us, Emma. We’ll work the problem on our end and find you a way out of this if we can.” I wanted to remain strong in front of her, a fellow Little who even pust most Bigs to shame, but it was hard considering Nancy’s strong negative influence in my life. “Iss jus’ weally, weally hawd. I wan’ to be stwong, buh… I jus’ don’ dink dewe’s a way ou’ anymo’…” Bree smiled sympathetically and rubbed my shoulder again. “Have some faith, Emma. There’s always a way out with these things given enough time, but you need to stay strong until then, okay? Can you do that for me?” It took everything I had, but I eventually nodded. “Emma! Emma! Where are you?” I heard Nancy shout angrily from nearby outside the bushes. I turned to see what was happening to see if she was close by but when I looked back at Bree and Martinez, both had vanished into the wild once more. Now determined to be seen again to possibly prevent a future spanking, I crawled out of the bush again. Curiously, there was a ball in the bush that hadn’t been there before. ‘I wonder… did Bree give me this?’ I shrugged my shoulders and soon emerged on the other side with it tightly clutched in one of my hands. Nancy was frantically looking around and soon spotted me. “And just what do you think you’re doing, huh? I couldn’t find you!” She then grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer. “I asked you a question, Emma. Where were you?” My legs trembled, but still holding the ball I had found, I lifted it up to show her my alibi. “My baw… it wolled away…” I tried to make myself look as innocent as possible, and while at first, I wasn’t sure if my ploy was even going to work, Nancy soon backed off. “Hmmm… I’ll give you a strike one for that instead of punishing you today. You better ask me before you disappear again, or you’ll be in a world of hurt. Got it?” I quickly nodded my head before she let me go and walked back off to her cheering and smiling Big friends. Each had seen what had just happened and each seemed proud of Nancy for how she handled it all. ‘Monsters…’ I then walked off and sighed. I wanted to fight back and tell her that she was being ridiculous, but I had quickly learned that was about the second biggest mistake I could have made, beyond running away from home. Any fight in me that Nancy saw was always sure to be smothered out in the most brutal of spankings when I got home. So, determined not to get any more strikes today, I toddled over to the swings and sat down. I wasn’t alone however, for very long.   “Heyya. You o’ay?” a Little asked as he sat down next to me. His dark hair and green eyes were very striking, and his tannish white bunny was also very distinctive. I had seen him in daycare before, but he was considered one of the more leveled-out Littles now and had been assigned to the Oasis room with the others like that. I really could only nod my head, but he seemed deadest on trying to help me. “Imma Chawwee… I seen you befo’ at daycaeh.” He then extended his hand out that wasn’t holding tightly onto his large stuffed bunny. I nodded and shook his hand. “Emma. I seen you awoun’ befo’ as well…” We then started to talk for a while, but not long after, the woman Big I had usually seen him with came right over, smiling the whole way. Unlike Nancy now, she was dressed a little more plainly, but there was an intelligence and kindness in her eyes that was unmistakably that clearly marked her as a bonded Big with Charley. From what Bree had told me though, I felt absolutely confident in saying her bonding had manifested the kinder and more caring version though. “Heya Charley,” she said cheerily to her Little. “You and Hop make a new friend today?” Charley nodded enthusiastically and I felt good knowing I had made another friend here as well. “Yeah! Dis is Emma, Mommy. She’s wiff, uh, Nancy… Dat one fwom da ottuh day…” The woman’s eyes grew big, and it was clear that Nancy’s poor reputation now in the daycare had been spreading. Her morning searches of the daycare for bugs and devices blocking my regression were becoming the gossip of town. Some seemed to admire her while others thought she was crazy. It was clear which category Monica fell into. So, it wasn’t exactly surprising when “Oh…” was about all she could say. It made feel so low being associated with Nancy lately, and I guess it showed on my face. The woman’s own quickly became sympathetic and she crouched down and extended her own hand out to me. “Hello Emma. I’m Monica.” I smiled and shook her hand back. “Goo’ ta mee’ you, Monica.” I wasn’t really sure what to say after that though, but I could see that both Monica and Charley were thinking something together. Finally, Monica broke. “I know the type of Big Nancy is, and I’m sorry if I’m speaking out of turn here, but are you okay? Do you need help or anything like that maybe?” Now I really didn’t know what to say. I could lie and go on my merry way, or I could tell the truth and face the consequences. Foster care and being put up for adoption were best case scenarios in that case, but after rumors that Nancy did nothing to stop, I was nearly convinced that any failures or rejected candidates were shipped off to Garden State Hospital. For perspective, Nancy would have seemed like a blessing compared to that truly terrible place. So, determined not to have that happen, I shook my head. “No… I’m okay... dank you dough…” Neither seemed convinced, but Monica sighed and seemed determined to get me to smile. “Well, let’s see if we can’t turn that frown upside down.” Without warning, she immediately started making fun faces at me. Charley soon joined in and wasn’t as good, but in minutes, I was howling with laughter from their sheer silliness. After a little bit, Monica finally seemed satisfied and stood up before rubbing Charley’s back. “Okay, hun. I’m going to start packing up, but I just wanted to give you the warning that we’re going to need to leave soon to get to that play you wanted to see tonight.” “Da one wiff aww da puppets?” he asked, his voice full of hope and excitement. It was almost hard to even remember those feelings anymore. Monica chuckled. “That’s right, sweetie. You just keep talking to Emma for now though.” Her eyes seemed to arc up and down a little bit as if there was some kind of inside secret between them, and while I was a little sad to be left out, I just continued to try and swing. Monica then left and Charley and I got to talking. First, I just had to know about the Oasis room, and apparently, it was completely magical in all its technology and theme. The room was actually two and was split into two themes. The main Oasis room was essentially just a beach and jungle theme with several water features built into the flooring and walls hidden behind a near transparent glass of some kind. Cubbies and other bits of furniture were adorned like jungle trees or rocks and beautiful flowers grew everywhere. Then, for naptime, the lights were turned off and everything changed to an under the sea theme. Trees became coral sprouts and grassy rocks soon looked like they were sunken beneath the waves. I wanted so badly to go, but I knew that would be a long time away… if ever. “So, Hop, huh?” I asked pointed to his ever-present stuffed bunny. For a moment, I thought I swore that I saw him look right at me, and I briefly wondered if he was magical too like Patch was, but Charley spoke back up to answer my question. “Yeah… he’s wike one of bestess fwien’s. He’s jus’ da bes!” Charley then paused and looked over at me with first suspicion and then an odd curiosity. “Don’ you have one?” I quickly thought to Patch waiting back at the daycare for me to return to him. It was utterly ridiculous on one level, but no matter how hard I tried to act mature, I just couldn’t let him go. “He’s… back at the daycaeh…” “Oh…” Charley said, now seeming a little guilty. “You should ask Mrs. Giwwies abou’ gettin’ him to take home wiff you… dey weally can help out a lot… especiawy if youw sad an’ aww…” I nodded. “He’s jus’ so gweat! He’s a doggy and even had widdle wightnin’ bolts on his wegs…” Charley suddenly became confused and then angry. “I used ta have a doggy wik dat too… I woss him…” “Oh no!” I couldn’t believe my ears that a fellow Little could lose their stuffy. I wanted to run off and form a search party immediately. Fortunately, Charley stopped me just as I was getting up. “Iss o’ay, Emma. He was a bad dog anyways…” His once angry demeanor quickly turned to sadness. I didn’t like to normally pry, but still, I just had to know what he was talking about. See, with my magical stuffy, I thought Patch would never be bad in his life. His job was to protect and just be there for me. Like with all stuffy’s… ‘Right?’ Curious, I couldn’t keep it in any longer. “Wha’ do you mean by dat?” Charley sighed and almost seemed on the verge of tears. “He… he huwt me… wike Nancy an’ you. Mommy told me aftuh she foun’ out. By da time we dih… I didn’ even wan’ him back, so no sadness fo’ me. Buh fo’ you, jus’ be caewful…” I nodded but I knew that Patch would never do something like that to me. We shared a bond, and he was practically my guardian in daycare and in my life now. “I’ll wemembuh dat fo’ Patch…” Charley quickly got a look of confusion.  “Wai… my doggy was named Dash. It can’t be him, buh’ that iss his name… o’ at weas ih was…” So, with both of us eventually agreeing that it was just another stuffy entirely ‘Right?’, I had a revelation about Charley. He wasn’t the smartest or the nimblest of us Littles, but he had something that others around here sorely had a burning desire for: hope for the future. I knew I had a lot to do in order to figure out the system still and get to where Charley was at in order to have fun in this life. His circumstances were also definitely different than mine, but I also felt I just had to make sure that I avoided all the obstacles wherever possible on the way to that new dream of mine. That was the hope inside of me trying to breakthrough, but there was another side to all this as well I just couldn’t ignore. As we both swung on the playground, for a moment, I had felt a tiny ray of hope in my fight against the dictatorship that had now become my life. Speaking of which though, I then saw Nancy glaring at me as she quickly stomped over to us sitting on the swings. Seeing my time was short, I eased on back into my swing with the push to just enjoy this time as much as I could. So, for now, I just leaned back in my seat and went higher and higher. Seconds later, I was all laughter and joy with my new friend at the park. Life often didn’t come with such surprises as finding a new friend out here, so I just hoped that my nice feeling would last for as long as it could. Considering what was likely to come, I remembered back to what Bree had told me, and eagerly waited for the right time to flee or to stay strong and hopeful as I waited for Omega Force to help me out in their own way. Nancy still loomed in my life, but no matter what happened later tonight though, I was just glad I had met Charley and Hop. It wasn’t even for long in retrospect, but again, it was that tiny something that I felt made my whole life now just a little more bearable. I wasn’t sure what was next, but considering the fiery hatred seething in Nancy’s eyes as she stomped over to our location at the swings, I knew there would likely be another punishment in my future tonight. I just hoped I could hold on a little longer before something truly terrible and permanent happened to me.

As my wife says, “you like what you like” 😜 (specifically in reference to my diaper wearing) A thick, wet, heavy, soggy diaper is just the best. 

I'm sure you'll find that special someone who can accept you for who you are.  Many hugs

I’m in Nelson. Can I take you up on that offer?