Story and Art Forum

Chapter thirty Jasper sighed and lay bored in his bed. He made up stories in his head and played with imaginary toys, but fantasising wasn't as much fun as playing in real life. Jasper rolled over on his side in bed. He did this very carefully so as not to make the bed creak and wake Dries. He lay there staring at the door, waiting for it to be time to get up. Suddenly he saw the door handle go down gently and Kathy's head come squeaking around the door. Seeing Jasper with his eyes open, she spoke to him cheerfully. "Good morning Jasper, we're all waiting for you to have breakfast. Are you going to join us?" "I'd like to, but I can't. The key fell on the floor last night." "Oops, that makes it hard to come." Kathy got down on all fours and looked around and under Jasper's bed for the key, but she couldn't find it immediately. "Just a minute Jasper, I'll get a light." Kathy disappeared from the room and a short time later Kathy and Koen returned to the room. "I'll keep looking, Jasper," Koen said, while Kathy started gathering clothes for Jasper and Dries. Koen took his mobile phone, turned on the flashlight and started to search under the bed and the wardrobe for the key. Koen didn't see it right away either and Jasper started to worry. What if they didn't find it? The fixation kit had been borrowed, so there was no way they could have just cut it open. Koen asked Jasper to tell him exactly what had happened: where had the key fallen and where had it been rolled to? Jasper could easily answer the first question, but not the second. Koen got down on his knees again and continued his search. It was only after he had moved the wardrobe and then the bed that he found the key: it had rolled between the plinth and a foot of the bed. Koen immediately released the magnets with the key and then helped Jasper out of the sleeping bag. Fifteen minutes had passed between Kathy looking inside and Koen untying everything, but for Jasper it felt like an eternity. Koen felt Jasper's nappy for a moment. "Come on, let's change this one first." Koen took Jasper into Heleen's room and lifted him onto the nursing table. The bottom of the pyjamas came off, the bodysuit was opened and the nappy was changed. As soon as the body was closed, Kathy came in with the overalls they had bought with the sleeping bag. "Put these on now for today, and we can be on our way right after breakfast." "To leave?" Jasper asked curiously. "Where are we going?" "Some kind of adventure park." Kathy said. That sounded like a good idea to Jasper and he quickly co-operated to get the dungaree on. Curiosity about the adventure park won out over Jasper's bad mood about the lost key. He was dreaming about the adventure park and didn't notice how the dungaree was closed. Without paying too much attention, Koen hurriedly fastened the two plastic buckles. Underneath the dungarees, Jasper had simply kept on the body suit that he had been sleeping in. Koen carried Jasper into the kitchen and sat him down. Dries and Heleen were also at the table, dressed and nibbling on their last slice of bread. Kathy was busy making some sandwiches for Jasper's breakfast, and immediately got to work packing lunches for everyone. When everyone was ready, Heleen and Dries had a quick trip to the toilet and the family headed off in the car for the adventure park. At the Adventure Park there were different types of tickets to choose from. From cheap to expensive, the options were "little heroes", "daredevils" and "big fan". They could walk around the park all day and do the different activities as often as they wanted. However, depending on the type of ticket they had bought, there were more or less different activities to choose from. After a moment's hesitation, they chose the 'daredevils' option for everyone. Jasper and Dries were too small for most of the extra activities they could do with the 'big fan' option. Kathy didn't want to take part, so she didn't have to pay anything. Koen just joined in. At the checkout, the cashier asked for everyone's arm while waving wristbands. Heleen, Jasper and Dries raised their wrists as soon as they understood his intention. When the cashier saw that there were already wristbands from the resort, he looked closely at the name of the campsite. "But sir, you should have told us right away that you were staying at this resort. That would have given you a discount." The cashier opened up the cash register and immediately took out a small amount of money to give back to Kathy. Kathy held out her hand and accepted the money. "Thank you," she said with a smile; she could appreciate the man's honesty. "You will receive a security briefing from my colleague shortly, but he is busy with another family at the moment. If you wait there by the benches, he will come to you immediately." Koen nodded to the man as a sign that he had understood him. "Mum, I have to go to the toilet." Heleen whispered. "An excellent idea. Dries, go to the toilet too, Jasper, come with me." Kathy ordered the other children. The family walked together to the toilet block where Heleen and Dries each went into a stall and Jasper waited by Kathy's side. "Jasper, are you still dry?" Kathy asked. Jasper looked around quickly, 'phew', no one was close enough to follow the conversation. "Yes, but I have to do number two." Kathy looked around and a little further on she saw a door with the symbol of a changing room, which she took Jasper to. Jasper was placed by Kathy on a low cupboard in the room and then Kathy looked at the fastenings on the dungarees. "Strange." Kathy muttered as she studied the buckle. Jasper looked down at the buckle. "What's strange?" "There's a keyhole in this buckle." Jasper looked at it too. "Yes, that's right. Why would there be one?" "So they can be locked, I suppose? These dungarees could have belonged to the same child as the sleeping bag you have." Kathy suggested. "But we need to get on now, so the others don't have to wait for us." Kathy unbuckled the buckles, opened the bodysuit and removed the nappy, then Jasper sat on the small toilet that was the only one in the room. After he finished, Kathy quickly wiped his bottom and the process went the other way around. First the nappy was put on, then the bodysuit was closed and finally the dungarees were put back on. Kathy looked again at the buckles with the keyhole, they were the same on both sides. She fumbled around in her pockets for something to try and turn them, but there was already a knock on the door from Heleen. "Mum, come on, the assistant is waiting for Jasper to start the explanation." "We're coming!" Kathy called back through the door. She left the keyholes as they were. She lifted Jasper from the table to the floor and opened the lock on the door. Together Jasper, Heleen and Kathy went to the man for the security briefing. The employee looked at Koen, Heleen, Dries and Jasper and assessed their height and age. He then turned around and took a number of climbing harnesses out of the boxes behind him, giving the largest to Koen, a medium size to Heleen and the smallest to Dries and Jasper. He started with an explanation. Koen translated some of it, where it was important for the children. "This man will first help you put on your safety equipment, and then he'll show you how everything works," Koen said as the man approached Heleen. The man opened the harness for Heleen. It was a model where you first put your legs in the two leg loops, then pulled the harness up behind your back and put your arms in. At the front, at chest height, there were two loops for the rope, carabiners or other safety devices. The man first showed Heleen how to put the harness on, adjusting all the straps so that the harness fit properly. He then continued with Dries and finally helped Jasper put on the harness. As the man put the straps around Jasper's hips and adjusted them, he looked surprised for a moment. He felt that Jasper was wearing more protection than just the climbing harness. But he ignored it and when he had finished with Jasper, he went on to check that Koen had put on his safety belt properly. Then the man took out a whole set of ropes and carabiners. He divided them up and placed a slightly different set in front of Koen, Heleen and the two boys. For Jasper and Dries, he prepared a set for a cable car, a set for an altitude course and two combination locks with a flexible wire instead of a U-shaped piece. He prepared the same for Heleen, but without combination locks, and for Koen he also prepared two sets of belts, but different from Heleen's. For the high ropes course, he was given a set with two ropes, each with a snap hook, while the children had a single rope to slide over the wire. This set had the advantage for the children that they could not get disconnected in the middle of the course, the disadvantage was that they had to stay behind each other anyway and could not let anyone lead or lead themselves anywhere. There could be no swapping of places. Koen, however, like all adults, had the option of moving forward or backward. He could use the two carabiners to secure himself to the safety rope in front of and behind obstacles, always making sure that at least one hook was engaged. This allowed him to safely switch positions to help each of the children separately if necessary. While the man explained to Koen that last year a child had completely disengaged from his harness at a height and fallen badly, the man closed the combination locks on Jasper and Dries' harnesses. With the first lock, he went through the two loops on the left and right of the chest, and with the second lock, he made sure that the climbing set and the cable car set could not be easily removed. The man explained that the locks were only there to prevent the safety equipment from being removed, and that the two normal sets would still be there to protect you if you fell. Koen translated everything for the children so that they understood the hows and whys. The next step, before they were allowed to enter the park, was for the man to take the family to a demonstration course. It was half a metre high and the man was able to explain everything: how the safety system worked and what the rules were for the high course. Then he let everyone practice a small round under supervision and finally came the moment of redemption. "Have fun and good luck!" Throughout the adventure park there were all sorts of activities: there was archery, laser shooting, an artificial cave for speleology, a bobsleigh, a super long slip line to slide down, a climbing wall and a large playground. Everything was connected by hiking trails, small cable cars or an altitude trail. There was also a section in the adventure park where there were only high ropes courses of varying difficulty. Jasper, Dries and Heleen flew to the first obstacle course and went over it to the bobsleigh. Koen joined them on the ropes course and Kathy followed them on the hiking trail. While Koen and the kids were busy, she took the opportunity to take some nice pictures. There was an employee at the bobsleigh who unlocked the combination lock on the safety set, and then the children had to go back to him to put it back on. They all enjoyed two rounds on the bobsleigh and then moved on to another high ropes course. However, on the high ropes course they got stuck. There was a small child in front of them who did not dare to proceed, and the mother, who was with the child and had shown him how to overcome the obstacle, could not go back. Koen and the children waited in line for a while - there were other families in between - before they realised what the problem was. Once they knew why everyone was standing still, they wanted to turn around and go back, but it was impossible because there were others already waiting behind them. It took a long time and eventually Dries got tired of waiting. He started fiddling with the combination lock, trying to unlock it. It didn't take long for Heleen to see. "Dries, you are not allowed to touch it, you are not allowed to unlock it." "I'm tired of standing here, I'm climbing down." Koen's reaction was to jump into action as soon as he had a glimpse of what Dries was up to through Heleen's eyes. With a few quick steps and by moving his own karabiners, he was standing next to Dries. "You have to keep your hands off, it's about safety. Either you don't touch the lock or you can stay with mum for the rest of the day," he said strictly. Dries pulled his hands away immediately; the climbing and clambering was too much fun and he didn't feel like giving it up. Koen checked everything and was relieved to see that everything was still in place. He was glad that the locks were there, they had prevented worse. It was a beautiful day and the children enjoyed the challenges the adventure park had to offer. There was only one more difficult moment in the afternoon when they wanted to eat. Jasper needed his nappy changed and Dries wanted to go to the toilet. First they had to find a park supervisor to unlock the locks, then a supervisor to relock them and check everything. They would have liked to take their break on a quiet bench among the trees, but as they were dependent on the staff, they ended up in the crowd on the terrace next to the cafeteria. During the day they did various other activities; they still enjoyed the cave box, did some climbing and after a few more activities Koen and Heleen had had enough. The family went back to the entrance where they handed in all their materials. The staff helped them open the combination locks again and before they left, they all went to the toilet. Jasper was again helped into the changing room by Kathy with a clean nappy. As Jasper lay on the wardrobe and Kathy closed the overalls, she took another look at the buckles. They had been in a hurry in the afternoon and there had been no time. Now there was time to look at the keyhole buckles and Kathy could finally satisfy her curiosity. She took her bunch of keys and with a small flat piece of her key ring she managed to turn both locks a quarter of a turn. "I'm curious to see how this works, Jasper," she said. Jasper also checked that these were real locks. After Kathy had tightened them both, she pushed on the latches and found that they wouldn't move. Kathy turned the keyholes another quarter turn and this time the buckles opened without a problem. "Can I have a go, too?" Jasper asked. He took the key ring and turned the clasps a quarter turn. "Mummy, can Jasper and I go to the playground?" called Dries through the door of the changing room. Jasper's eyes brightened at once. "Please, is it all right?" he asked. Kathy thought a bit about the pros and cons - it would help the boys burn off some extra energy - she finally thought. "Yes, that's fine." Kathy replied through the door. Jasper immediately jumped down from the cupboard, opened the door and ran out with Dries to explore the playground. Together they rushed from one toy to the next. One of the toys was a kind of playground with a sand pit. It was equipped with everything that could be used to scoop up, transport and dump the sand. Jasper and Dries went straight to work. At the bottom of a tower, Jasper filled buckets with sand, which Dries then lifted up and poured into a dumper truck that hung on a kind of monorail. Jasper and Dries did their best to fill the lorry. As the children continued to fill it, the cart became overcrowded and there was a lot of weight over the horizontal hinges. As Jasper stood under the cart, looking up at Dries as he poured the bucket into it, the cart became too unstable and the cart turned on its hinges. Jasper tried to get out of the way, out of the danger zone, but it was too late. He took a lot of the sand with him, and some of it got between his bodysuit and overalls. Dries and Jasper had a good laugh about the incident. Jasper started to knock the sand off his clothes and Dries was happy to help, he thought it was funny that he could beat someone to help him. "There's still a lot of sand between them, Jasper," Dries said, pulling at the bib overalls. He tried to get his hand between the bib and the bodysuit to rub it off. "Undo the buckles so we can open the dungarees a bit and we'll have a better chance." Dries said. Jasper pushed the buckles but couldn't open them. He looked at them again and saw that the locks were still turned. "They're still locked," he remarked in surprise. "What do you mean, did my mum do that?" asked Dries indignantly. "No, she was just curious why the buckles looked different than usual. She had closed them and then opened them again. I asked if I could try it. When I closed it, you were there and then I forgot about it." Jasper reassured Dries. Together they went to Kathy and asked for some help to keep chipping away at the sand. Kathy had already seen what had happened and was glad that Jasper hadn't hurt himself. Jasper explained what was wrong and soon Kathy was undoing the buckles on his dungarees. "Get out of those for a while," Kathy said as she pulled the dungarees down. "Otherwise you're going to be full of sand again when we've got it all off." Jasper took his legs out of the pipes one by one and stood outside, next to the bench with Kathy, wearing only his bodysuit and nappy. Suddenly aware of himself, he looked around him but no one really noticed him. Kathy, Dries and Jasper quickly started rubbing everywhere to get rid of as much sand as possible. Dries only rubbed the back, but Kathy also rubbed the front and back of his nappy. It felt strange for Jasper to be touched in this way, but although he found it uncomfortable, he understood why it was necessary. Once all the sand had been rubbed off, Kathy turned the dungarees upside down, trying to get as much sand out as possible before putting them back on Jasper. When most of the sand had been removed, Jasper let Kathy put the dungarees back on him. Without even thinking about it, Kathy turned the locks back into place, after all, she had just unlocked them a moment ago. Now that everyone was together, it was time to go home. Jasper was secured in the car by Heleen. Because Heleen always did it for him, he had never learned to do it himself, but by now he took it for granted to be helped. Heleen liked being able to mother Jasper from time to time. When the family returned to the cottage and everyone got out, Kathy noticed that there was still a lot of sand in the car seat where Jasper had been sitting. "The sand must be creeping into everything, Jasper. I don't want you scattering the sand all over the house. Help unload the stuff first, but don't go further than the hall." "OK," Jasper said. He had heard that he had to help with the unloading. He walked to the back of the car and took one of the bags that was there and carried it inside. "Stop!" shouted Kathy. "Not another step Jasper, look down!" Jasper looked down, startled. He saw that there was sand all the way from the door to where he was standing. "I told you not to go any further than the hallway." Kathy grumbled. "Sorry, I only heard to help unload the car." "Now step back until you get to the door and wait for me there," Kathy said. "In the meantime, take off all your clothes." She looked for a brush to clean up the trail of sand that Jasper had made before the rest of the sand was spilled out of the car. Koen, Dries and Heleen walked nicely around Jasper, leaving him and Kathy alone. When Kathy was in a bad mood, it was better to stay away from her so as not to escalate the situation. Jasper soon realised that he couldn't open the buckles on his bib overalls because they were fastened. Then he tried to pull the straps off his shoulders to get them off, but the front and back were too high so there wasn't enough room for that method. Jasper could see Kathy's bunch of keys and key chain from the hallway, with the extension that allowed them to turn the lock, but then he had to move away from the door where he had to stand. Realising that he could not reach anything, he sat down on the floor. He was worried because he hadn't done what he was told, but he really couldn't get his clothes off. When Kathy came back with the brush, she saw that Jasper wasn't as ready as she expected, he hadn't taken any of his clothes off, and she shouted angrily, "Jasper, put your ears on. I told you to take your clothes off!" Tears welled up in Jasper's eyes, he hated being called out by Kathy in that way. "But I really tried, I couldn't," his voice sounded fragile. "The buckles are locked." Kathy was shocked at Jasper's reaction. She had to admit that she had indeed asked him to do an impossible thing. Kathy knelt down beside Jasper and hugged him. "I'm sorry Jasper, you're right. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." Kathy took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped away Jasper's tears, then held the handkerchief to his nose so he could blow. When both Kathy and Jasper had calmed down, Kathy broke the embrace. "Come on, Jasper, we'll take off all your clothes and wash you. Then we'll put you in clean clothes and you can play while I start dinner. Does that sound good?" Kathy saw Jasper nod. She stood up and got her keys to open the locks. When she had done that, she took off the dungaree, bodysuit and nappy in the hall. She took the hand brush and wiped it all over Jasper to get a lot of sand off him. "Crawl into the bath and I'll clean up here." Jasper dreamed as the warm water splashed around him. He had filled the whole tub and was able to relax in it. Little by little his mood was getting better and better. Dries opened the door and looked in. "Jasper, is everything all right with you?" he asked carefully. Jasper opened his eyes and looked at Dries, happy to see him. He was already feeling much better and was thinking of an answer to give. "No," Jasper said curtly, faking anger. Dries looked at Jasper closely. He'd heard the answer correctly, but the answer didn't seem to match the expression Jasper was wearing. Jasper's mouth pursed in anger, but his eyes seemed to be narrowed with pleasure. "Oh, Jasper, what's wrong?" Dries tried the cautious approach for safety's sake. "I'm alone in the bath without you and you promised we'd share everything," Jasper said. Dries burst out laughing and started to undress where he was standing. "Here I come!" he shouted as he jumped into the bath. Jasper managed to pull his legs in just in time before Dries landed in the water. "Dries, you're making me wet!" cried Jasper, immediately scooping up water with his hands to throw in Dries' face. "You missed!" Dries shouted as most of the water flew onto the bathroom floor next to him. "And you're in the bath, of course you're wet." By the time Koen came into the bathroom three seconds later to calm the boys down, it was too late, the whole bathroom floor was wet. "Don't start..." he sighed to himself and closed the bathroom door. "It's too late now, we might as well wait until later to clean everything up," he said to Kathy. Koen went over to Heleen who was busy on her mobile. "They are very rough." Heleen remarked. "Yes, Jasper probably needs to let off some steam after just now." Heleen nodded that she understood. Look, I'm sitting here looking at a picture and a message that Mila posted," Heleen said, handing her mobile phone to her dad. Koen took the phone and looked at the message. "Proud of my sister," he read as the title. Underneath he saw a picture of Mila and Billy holding hands, but Billy was wearing a dress. "Billy is discovering himself this holiday and I'm happy to be so close to it. I'm glad that Billy stands up for himself and lets everyone know what's important to her. Koen continued to read the message. He handed the phone back to Heleen. "It's strange to see Billy in a dress, but it's nice of Mila to be so supportive of Billy." "I've heard of transgender people before, but I thought only adults became transgender," Heleen said. "Twice wrong Heleen, we don't know if Billy is transgender or just likes to wear girl's clothes, he/she could also be something in between or something completely different, only time will tell," said Koen. "And you don't become transgender, that's something you are," Koen concluded. Heleen nodded that she understood. She put a thumbs up under the message and then went back to checking her social media. Kathy had also heard that the boys were having a lot of fun in the bathroom, so she decided to put dinner on before getting the boys out of the bath. When dinner was almost ready, she sent Koen into the bathroom with a bucket and mop. "You start with the floor, I'll be right there to help you get the boys clean and dressed," she said. Koen had half filled the bucket with the water he had mopped up from the floor when Kathy came to join him. Kathy took some shampoo and started lathering the boys. After she had done their hair, she took a washcloth and went to work washing the boys, literally from head to toe. No spot was missed and when Kathy had finished cleaning and polishing, Koen was ready with two large towels in which Jasper and Dries were wrapped. Together they went into Heleen's room where the clothes were laid out on the changing table. "We're going to eat now. After dinner you can stay up for a while before it's time to go to bed," Kathy said. "Jasper, pyjamas are waiting for you as we don't have many clean clothes. Dries, are you wearing pyjamas or normal clothes?" Dries thought for a moment. Wearing pyjamas with Jasper sounded nice, but if he put on normal clothes now, he would have to change just before going to sleep. And that was his strategy, to be allowed to linger and stay awake a little longer. "Ordinary clothes," Dries decided. Kathy took a pile and gave it to Dries, she put another pile away. Then she picked up Jasper and put him on the changing table. "This way," she instructed, getting Jasper to lie down nicely on the changing table and she began to put a nappy on him. Once it was closed, a green body with short legs was slipped over his feet. It had no closure at the crotch, just a zip at the back. "These are intended to be used as summer pyjamas," Kathy said as she covered the top of the zip with a piece of cloth that had been provided for that purpose. "Here's a pullover to put over them, the pyjamas are a thin fabric and you might be a bit cold now. We'll take them off before we go to bed. After dinner, Dries and Jasper were allowed to watch a film. Heleen, Jasper and Dries wanted to make it a cosy evening and Koen and Kathy helped. The lights were dimmed and a few candles were lit. A plate with some biscuits was put out and everyone got a big cup of hot chocolate. Heleen and Dries each took their blanket from their room to sit under, Kathy helped Jasper into his sleeping bag and put him in the seat, the dummy was also attached to the sleeping bag. After these preparations everyone was ready and the film was set up. During the film Koen's mobile phone rang a few times. Koen kept looking at his phone, whispering to Kathy and then answering the messages. When the film was about half done, there was a sudden knock on the door. Koen stopped the film and got up to open the door. "Good evening," came David's voice. He had a big smile on his face and stepped inside after an inviting gesture from Koen. "So nice to hear my own language again. I was at the conference and all the time listening and speaking in English is exhausting," he continued. "As interesting as it was." "Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?" asked Koen. "Yes, please, what have you got?" After David's reply, Heleen went to get the beer he had asked for. She still wanted to come along to the disaster drill to watch, and she hoped it would increase her chances. The TV went off because there was a visitor. David was a good talker and soon had the attention of Kathy, Koen and Heleen. Dries and Jasper continued to sip their chocolate milk, but were actually bored. "Shall we play, Jasper?" Dries whispered into his ear. I want to, but I can't get out of my sleeping bag myself." Jasper whispered back. Dries started to fiddle with the sleeping bag and opened it. While he was busy, he glanced covertly at his mother. She had seen what he was doing for a long time and nodded that it was good. Reassured, Dries continued until Jasper could crawl out of the sleeping bag. David was busy talking to Koen and Kathy and didn't really pay attention to what the boys were doing, but he did see them heading for their room to play. "What I'm here for anyway," David said, turning to the subject of the disaster drill he had to go to as an observer, "we're still looking for simulants. I have been given a whole list of different roles that they are still looking for. I was hoping to convince you to take part in the disaster drill by pretending to be injured. David looked hopefully at Koen and Kathy. "Yes, daddy, mummy, please!" whispered Heleen. She tried her best to look as sweet as possible at her parents. Koen couldn't resist that look. "We have to ask Dries and Jasper first," he said. Jasper and Dries were called in and David explained what he wanted to ask. Jasper was a little nervous about his clothes. He was aware of how young he must look. He was the only one in pyjamas and the contours of his nappy were showing through the fabric. To channel his nerves, he started sucking his thumb, which didn't help the image of his age he was giving David. David tried to explain the plan as simply as he could. The family would take part in the disaster drill. They had to act as best they could and pretend to be injured. Later, when the roles were assigned, they would be told exactly what to do. Jasper was immediately enthusiastic, he thought it would be fun. Dries was a little less enthusiastic, but was willing to join in if Jasper was. Now that David had convinced the two children, it was agreed that the whole family would participate, except for Heleen, who hopefully could go with David to watch and take notes for him. Tomorrow David would get confirmation if everything could be done as proposed. Not much later it was time for Dries and Jasper to go to bed. Both boys were dressed in clean nappies and Kathy put them to bed, reversing their places from the previous night. Dries in the normal bed and Jasper in the cot. David stayed for a while and chatted with Koen and Kathy. They agreed to have dinner together the following evening.   Do you can't wait to read the next chapter? you're welcome to read it after a (free) registration on the scriptorium webpage. (Under writing => work in progress) Comments on the story are always welcome.  

Hypothetical

LILA’S 9th BIRTHDAY   Lila clapped her hands and giggled as she ran around the beach in her RuffleButts Mermaid Butterfly Tankini Two-Piece Swimsuit.  The set came complete with a pink bow, which Madeline adorned on her cute little head.  A noticeable bulge was showing from the bottom piece of her swimsuit, as Lila was wearing a Size 3 Pampers Splashers Swim Diaper.  The 85-degree heat from the sun beat down on Lila as she ran towards the shore and splashed her feet in the water. Running nearby Lila were two girls that were about exactly the same height as Lila.  Just as they were about to approach Lila, they were both scooped up by Angela. “That is too close to the water!” Angela told them.  “Shauna, Sidney, let’s go back to the towel so that mommy can put some more sunscreen on you two, okay?” Bradley, who was nearby, took Sidney from Angela.  “I can do Sidney and you can do Shauna.” Angela nodded, as they both walked back to two beach towels with some beach umbrellas right by them. Lila frowned as she saw her new friends get taken away from her.  Her frowning turned into a full blown crying fit. This got the attention of Madeline, who was standing nearby Lila.  The nanny scooped Lila up and walked back towards another beach umbrella with a towel underneath. “Lila dear, you’re too close to the water.” She told her.  “Plus, it’s been two hours so we need to put another coat of sunscreen on you.  You’re the birthday girl, so we don’t want you to burn!” Lila continued to wail as Madeline carried her back to the beach umbrella.  She didn’t know what sunscreen was or what burning even meant.  All she wanted to do was splash her feet in the water again.  From last year, her mental state remained unchanged.  The only thing that Lila could remember was being a two-year-old.  All of her five-year-old memories from four years ago were completely gone at this point.  With it being her eighth year of being two, the same cycle of memories kept repeating in her mind.  Every new birthday that Lila experienced was like her become a new two-year-old all over again.  But it wasn’t just that.  Every day that she was a two-year-old, her mind just reset to day one.  This made it virtually impossible for Cynthia or Madeline to even teach her anything new.  Whatever she learned that day was forgotten the next.  While she could still speak, she cried a lot to get attention.  Especially when her diaper was wet or soiled. Cynthia glanced at Madeline, who was sitting down with Lila, gently applying SPF 100 Sunscreen to her back.  “How’s my birthday girl?” she asked Lila.  “How old are you today?  Are you nine?” “Nahn!” Lila repeated, as she liked to repeat words that grown ups said to her.  She didn’t know what the words meant.  She just finds amusement in repeating the words that the grown ups say.  “Nahn! Nahn! Nahn! Nahn!” She clapped her hands, but stopped when Madeline grabbed one of them to spread some more sunscreen on her arm. Meanwhile, Angela was applying sunscreen to Shauna.  She looked at her daughter and smiled.  “Do you like playing with Lila?” Shauna looked at Angela and smiled.  “Eh-ah!” she cooed. Angela grinned and cooed back to her darling daughter.  “You also like playing with your twin sister Sidney, right?” Shauna smiled again, as if to recognize the name of her sister.  “Beh beh! Mama!” Jenny ran up to Angela and tapped her in the bottom, which had a clearly noticeable bulge.  “Sam is sleeping, so I wanted to see what you are doing.  Oh!  So my little niece is getting some sunscreen put on her?” Angela nodded.  “Yes.  All of the kids are getting sunscreen every two hours.” Jenny nodded.  “That’s good.  How old is Shauna and Sidney now?  Didn’t you have them last July?” “Yes.” Angela told her.  “They are both 10 months now.  And my, are they growing!  They are the same height as Lila!  And they weigh a little more than her.  23 pounds!” Jenny scratched her head.  “Isn’t Lila about 30 inches?” “That’s what our mom keeps telling me every year.” Angela told her.  “Both Shauna and Sidney are actually 30.5 inches.  I measured them yesterday.  They’re already a teeny bit taller than Lila…”  Angela then frowned.  “You know, Jenny?  It’s really sad that Lila made that wish.  Since four years ago, I cannot have a grown up conversation with Lila anymore.  Every conversation now is like I’m talking to a toddler.  She doesn’t even remember anything!  Nothing about helping me seven years ago.  I have asked her numerous times and she always gives me a cute smile, like she has no understanding of what I just said…” Jenny nodded and smiled.  “You know, Angie?  I can totally relate.  With that magic diaper, why wouldn’t you want to be a toddler forever?  I mean, I got to…for a while.  Let her have fun with it.  But there’s a scary difference that I’m seeing with her.  When I had my fun with it, I was fully aware of my original age.  Lila on the other hand is not even aware that she’s nine years old today, and has been a five-year-old in a completely different timeline.  A timeline where you didn’t even exist.  I think that her will has consumed every part of her that would ever want to grow up….” Angela nodded.  “And even though I’m a young adult, you still look like a teenager…” Jenny nodded.  “Yes Angie.  That is a painful reality that I have accepted a long time ago.  You play, you pay.  The price of me playing with the magic diaper as long as I did resulted in me staying a teenager in this current life.  I thought I was going to get another chance, but now I’m stuck as a teen.  And know what, Angie?  If I could have the magic diaper again, I would want to wear it forever.  I don’t blame her doing what she’s doing.  Let her enjoy it as long as she wants.  She’ll just have to pay for it later…” Angela gasped.  “Why would you want to wear it again?” “Why?” Jenny told her as Angela finished applying sunscreen to Shauna.  “Because I was forced to give it up!  My mommy and daddy only wanted to use me because of my magic diaper!  They only wanted me to make wishes to make them rich!  I hated it and I couldn’t stand being abused like that!  It wasn’t fun anymore so I ran away and wished to be in my mother’s womb again!  And you know what?  After making that wish, I never saw the magic diaper again.  Not once as I was growing up normally this time.  At least not until you showed it to me the first time that we babysat Lila together!  I only got 20 years with it, Angie.  Lila could have it forever…Especially if she’s stuck with the mind of a two-year-old…” Angela frowned at the thought of her little sister wearing the magic diaper forever.  “I can see why you want it back, Jen.  So couldn’t you have wished for a better family?” Jenny shook her head.  “That would interfere with their free will to take care of me.  A wish like that can only be made when the mommy is deceased.  I hope that Lila will know to make those wishes when that time comes…” She glanced up at the mansion that overlooked the beachfront.  “I LOVE this beachfront house!  How many square feet is it?  About 12,000 or something?” Angela nodded.  “Yes.  Mom told me that it’s a little over 12,000 square feet.  That’s about half the size of the Watson Estate.  It cost them $70 million.  I mean, that’s standard for a property in Palm Beach, right?” “Yeah!” Jenny nodded as she felt the bulgy padding through her swimsuit.  “All that beach frontage and the location.  I love Florida…” Meanwhile, Madeline was finished applying sunscreen to Lila.  She placed a pacifier in her mouth to calm her down.  Lila suckled it as the nanny gently applied the SPF 100 to all the exposed skin that Lila had: her arms, hands, face, belly, back, and legs.  Her feet didn’t need sunscreen since she was wearing water shoes.  After she applied the sunscreen, Lila looked tired, so she laid Lila underneath the umbrella and wrapped her in a dry towel to protect her from the sun. Lila looked up at the ceiling of the umbrella as she quietly suckled her pacifier.  She squinted her eyes and yawned, which made her spit the pacifier out a little bit.  The nanny placed it back in as everything began to fade.  In seconds, Lila was fast asleep. Lila woke up to find two other girls sleeping next to her.  They were the friends that she saw earlier.  She was about to touch them, when a hand stopped her nearby.  It was the nanny again, who was watching Lila sleep the whole time. “No no Lila,” Madeline whispered.  “Shauna and Sidney are sleeping.  Why don’t we make a sandcastle until they wake up?” This did not sit well with Lila.  She stood up and pounded her little feet in the sand.  “NU!” she shouted.  “Pay Sah-nah!  Pay Sih-dee!” This tantrum woke both Shauna and Sidney up.  They both immediately wailed, which made Lila wail as well. Angela and Bradley ran over to where their daughters were, and gasped.  “What’s going on?” Angela shouted. “Lila here had a temper tantrum.” Madeline explained to her. Angela sighed.  “Typical Lila…”  She glanced at Bradley and handed him two pacifiers.  “Calm them down.  I want to talk to the birthday girl…”  She turned toward Lila and frowned.  “What’s wrong, Lila?  Why is my birthday girl having a meltdown?  Why the pouty face?” Lila continued crying and pouted.  “Pay Sah-nah!  Pay Sih-dee!” Angela nodded, as she took Lila and placed her on her lap.  She adjusted to her condescending tone.  “Lila honey, if you want to play with Shauna and Sidney, you have to be nice.  Let them wake up from their nap instead of throwing a temper tantrum.  That wasn’t very nice.  Now, you’re my little sister.  Can you be a nice birthday girl for me?” Lila smiled as she looked at her older sister.  “Nye bir-day gul!”  She clapped her hands and glanced at the sun, which was closer to the horizon.  It was late afternoon, but not yet time for dinner. Angela began to sniff around Lila and began to pinch her nose.  “Oh. Lila…” she said, gasping.  “Um, Maddy?” Madeline, who was standing near where Angela and Lila were sitting, glanced down and exchanged glances with Angela.  “Another stinky one?  Here.  I will take care of it…” Cynthia looked at Madeline and then at the beachfront mansion.  “Don’t put another swim diaper on her.  We’re going inside to have dinner shortly.  Just take her to her room and change her there.” Madeline scooped Lila out from Angela’s lap and began walking towards the beachfront mansion. Camden walked up to where Lila was and gasped.  “Did Little Lila have another stinky?” Angela playfully shoved Camden.  “You still call her that?” Camden grinned.  “Why not?  I’m just stating the obvious.  And you still wear diapers?  I haven’t wore them since I was 10…” Angela nodded, and gave Camden a playful tap.  “I like them, and so does Jenny.  Besides, I am fully diaper dependent now, which is why I’m wearing a swim diaper.  I seriously cannot hold my bladder at all anymore…” Camden nodded.  “I was just teasing, sis.  I’ve been there.  I just didn’t want to wear them anymore…” Madeline nodded at both Angela and Camden.  “I need to take care of this.  Our little princess needs to have a fresh diaper…”  Madeline now hurriedly walked towards the house carrying Lila.  She got a pacifier out of the bag and placed it in Lila’s mouth to distract her. Lila glanced at the nanny, who was walking up the steps towards the path that led to the beachfront mansion.  The path was lined with dressed stone, with small florescent lights sitting on either side of the walkway.  They were on a timer so they only turned on at night.  She watched as the nanny took her to an enormous set of double doors lined in square tiles of glass and marble.  She opened the door and was carried through the room to a large staircase. Madeline cautiously continued up the staircase, as she continued sniffing the odor that was coming from Lila’s messy swim diaper.  She reached the top of the staircase and walked down the hallway to one of the nine bedrooms in this cozy beachfront estate.  Lila’s room was at the end of the hallway, with John and Cynthia’s room just across the hall.  She entered Lila’s room and turned on the light.  Unlike the Watson Estate, Lila didn’t have a separate room for diaper changing attached to her sleeping quarters.  Her crib and her changing table, and her play area were in the same room.  Regardless, it was still a very spacious room.  It was a beautiful nursery with just white walls.  Her crib sat in the middle of the room with her changing table on the left and a small playpen and the lower left corner of her room.  She hurried to the changing table and laid Lila down. Lila removed the pacifier from her mouth and giggled as the nanny removed the bottom half of her RuffleButts swimsuit, revealing her messy Size 3 Pampers Splashers Swim Diaper, which emitted a bright radiant flash that only Lila could see (and everyone else whom she revealed it to).  Even though it was a swim diaper, it was still the magic diaper.  The nanny took off the magic diaper and shook her head. “I’m giving you a shower…” Madeline told her.  “All the wet and stinky poo is going to make this difficult…” Madeline took Lila outside her room to the hallway, where a bathroom was right near Lila’s room, instead of inside her room like it was in the Watson Estate.  She entered it and undressed with Lila.  She took a quick shower, washing everything off of Lila and cleaning her up in the process.  She cleaned herself up too, and she exited the shower.  She wrapped Lila in a towel and carried her back to her room.  She laid Lila on the changing table and put a little Aquafor on the slightly rashy areas.  She then took out a new Size 3 Pampers Cruisers and powdered it.  She then laid Lila on it and powdered her.  She locked Lila’s feet together and folded the front of the diaper forward.  She fastened both tabs snugly and ensured the perfect fit.  She then put a beautiful blue princess dress on her with matching blue bow. And by the time that Madeline carried Lila downstairs, everyone was inside.  John, Cynthia, Camden, Angela, Bradley, Shauna, Sidney, Jenny, and Samuel.  Just a closeknit family of nine, since their other friends could not make it to Lila’s birthday this year. Pierre came out, preparing all the same dishes that he made for Lila’s 7th birthday.  The Teddy Graham encrusted mac and cheese was back, since Lila liked it so much.  Small delicious morsels of cinnamon Teddy Grahams were crumbled over freshly grated Vermont Cheese that were melted to perfection. Every noodle was made from scratch.  A hint of milk made the mac and cheese creamy, and small shavings of roasted hot dog with freshly grated garlic made the dish simply delectable.  Finally, the noodles were carefully cut by the chef to be ready for Cynthia to feed her birthday girl. The adult version of the dish was also back.  It was prepared with seafood.  Crab, lobster and grouper were all mixed into the mac and cheese, with a little Cajun spice to give it an extra kick. Everyone ate their dinner and enjoyed the food. After dinner, they had Lila open presents to let the food settle before the cake and ice cream.  Of course, the same regifted gifts were given to Lila, since she was still two, despite it being her ninth birthday.  Instead of being a prepubescent girl, she was still a small toddler, easily fitting into 12–18-month clothes.  And those were just the kind of clothes that Lila got.  More rompers, onesies, swimsuits, pretty dresses, and footed sleepers.  A couple new pacifiers and a new feeding bottle.  Another new stuffed Bluey so she could sleep with two of them now.  A few more of her old toddler toys so she can enjoy them at her vacation home in Palm Beach, Florida now.  More diapers since the beachfront estate needed to be restocked anyway. After all the presents, Boudreau, the pastry chef, wheeled out a special birthday cake that was like her 8th birthday cake and the one before that.  It was a marble torte cake covered in chocolate ganache.  The chocolate was then spray painted with blue food coloring and finished up to look like Bluey to please Lila, the extra special birthday girl. Blue fondant covered areas of the cake to design the different parts of Bluey’s face.  A “9” candle sat at the tip of Bluey’s nose. With that, all of the family gathered around Lila and sang to her again, commemorating her special day: Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday dear Lila, happy birthday to you! “And many more!” Cynthia sang, crying happy tears this time.  She hugged Lila, and helped her in blowing out the candle on this very special cake.  She made a blow with her lips, hoping that Lila would get the idea.  “On three, Lila!” Cynthia instructed.  “Let’s blow Bluey’s nose!  One…two…three!” Cynthia blew on the “9” candle, with Lila blowing just after her.  The candle was blown out. Everyone ate the cake and enjoyed it.  Lila especially enjoyed it, smacking her lips and smiling.  “Mo Boo-Wee mommy! Mo Boo-Wee!” Cynthia granted Lila’s request.  She cut another small piece of the cake and gave it to Lila, who polished off in seconds. Ice cream was next.  Chef Boudreau brought out a batch of Neapolitan ice cream that was freshly made that day.  Every ingredient was fresh and the consistency was perfect. Cynthia fed Lila the ice cream, while everyone else ate theirs.  Since Shauna and Sidney were too young for cake or ice cream, Angela fed them bottles that she filled with her breast milk. As Cynthia was giving Lila her last spoonful, Lila began to yawn.  Cynthia glanced at Madeline, who nodded.  Cynthia and everyone else said goodnight to Lila before she was scooped up by Madeline to get the tired princess ready for bed. Madeline took Lila to the bathroom that they took a shower in earlier.  She brushed Lila’s teeth and took her back to her room.  She laid Lila on the changing table, cleaned her, and changed her into a Size 3 Pampers Swaddlers Overnights diaper (it was only wet this time).  She dressed Lila in her new blue footed sleeper, with a pattern of stars and moons all over the soft cottony fabric.  She placed one of Lila’s new pacifiers in her mouth (it was blue to match her pajamas) and Lila tiredly suckled it.  She placed Lila in her crib and kissed her goodnight.  “Good night, my birthday princess,” she told Lila. Lila smiled, as she watched her nanny leave the room and close the door.  She glanced at the new stuffed Bluey that she got for her birthday, and hugged both of them.  “Ni ni Boo-Wee!” she said with a smile. Lila squinted her eyes and she fell asleep.  A steady stream of pee began to slowly fill Lila’s diaper. It was a fun birthday in Palm Beach.  A birthday that Lila wouldn’t forget.

Your concerns are actually inverted, fyi?  Abdominal incision surgeries are way more risky and require way longer recoveries. Plus, you can’t really access the muscles and stuff necessary for what these procedures need from the abdomen—everything is under the bladder in a space separate from the abdomen, which would require a lot of risky cutting in the pelvis which has a ton of nerves and blood vessels. You would have way more likelihood of nerve damage (and vascular damage, and damaging other vital organs, and internal scar tissue, and…the list goes on) with abdominal surgery.  Also, there isn’t one single nerve that allows for sexual function in men. Erection/ejaculation are caused by a network of sympathetic and parasympathetic fibers. There’s also good evidence that even people who sustain nerve damage down there or even at the spinal cord level can still have things functions “down there.” As I always say—the brain is the biggest sex organ in the body.  So yeah, transurethral is def way safer than abdominal (in general and esp in these cases). Anytime you can avoid an “open abdominal surgery,” you want to avoid. Most of the nerves in the actual penis are superficial and not near the urethra. And the whole point of transurethral surgery is that you try to only resect or adjust  what needs removing/adjusting.  and of course, one would assume they’ve talked their concerns with their own surgeons—it’s part of the consent process.  None of the above post should be considered medical advice. I just wanted to let you know you had a misinformed opinion about abdominal incisions in 2024. 

Thank you very much! It's gone down a few odd rabbit holes here and there. haha   Jennifer groaned into her pillow and lifted her head to stare at her alarm clock. 3: 58 in the morning. Good, she still had two and a half-hours till she had to be up.    Step. Step. Creak. Step. Step. Creak.    Footsteps were pacing outside the hall. Hortensia, she thought blearily and let her head fall back on her pillow. Her aunt's treatment of her growing up had given Jennifer a complex when it came to confinement, so if Hortensia felt she needed to get up and move in the middle of the night, Jennifer had said she was more than welcome to. As long as she didn’t go downstairs, that was. Needing to wiggle around a bit was one thing, but sneaking downstairs to play video games on a school night was another.    The memory of last night came sharply into focus.   She had been so startled by everything going on, she had pulled Hortensia silently along downstairs, and without a word to each other, the two had stayed up playing Mario Kart until two in the morning. The air was so thick and tense between them it sat like physical weight in her stomach and lungs.    And then she remembered the break ins…   What if it wasn’t Hortensia in the hall? She strained to listen. Could it be a man?    Step. Step. Creak. Step. Step. Creak.    And then nothing.   Jennifer held her breath. The figure was standing right outside her bedroom door. Please, just cough or make a noise. But the house was eerily quiet. She needed to know for sure. As she approached the door to peek outside, the footsteps hurried away, followed by a door slamming shut. It was Hortensia…Probably. But she felt compelled to check anyway. There was no going back to sleep until she knew the girls were safe.    She walked down the empty hallway, first checking on Matilda    who was sound asleep, a flashlight beam on her bed revealing an open book sprawled next to her. Caught reading past her bedtime again it seemed. She picked up the flashlight to flip it off but decided she could use this instead. If Hortensia was asleep, she’d go downstairs and double check everything.    She opened the door and shined the light in all the corners, searching for intruders. No one in the closet. No one under the bed. The room was clear. She began to tiptoe out, casting one last  glance at the girl pretending to be asleep. She quickly went through the rest of the house, double checking the doors and windows before heading back to bed.    She stopped in Hortensia’s doorway again and peeked in. The girl rolled over, exposing her back with the blankets pulled up over her head. Jennifer went in and gently closed the door behind her before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. She sat and listened to Hortensia’s sporadic, uneven breathing, much too erratic to pass for sleep.    Finally, after a few minutes Jennifer said softly, “You don’t even like pickles.” Hortensia began to cry. Jennifer shut her eyes as a look of pain crossed her face. No confusion. No “What are you talking about?” Only tears. “Why?” was all Jennifer could say. “I don’t understand.”  “I was hungry.” A small, timid meek sounding voice replied. Gone was the attitude and contempt. Why? Why!    “I have been trying for weeks to get you to eat!” Her voice was thick with emotion. All the frustration, the fighting, the worrying, for what? “Do you not like my cooking that much? I have done everything! I have-” she stopped herself. She was about to unload on this kid. She took a deep breath and tried again. “I want the truth, Hortensia. Have you, or have you not, been breaking into my neighbor’s houses?”    “I didn’t break anything!”    “Have you been entering people’s homes without permission?” Silence. “Hortensia!”    “Yes!” The girl cried.   “Were you doing this for fun? Were you trying to see how far you could go without getting caught? Was this some kind of game to you?”   “No!”    “Then why? Why would you do something so stupid and dangerous for food you don’t even like when we have perfectly good food here?” Jennifer demanded. The girl refused to answer. “Do you really think I’m poisoning you?” Nod.  She sat quietly on the bed for some time trying to process this. Hortensia had insisted on eating lunch in the cafeteria, despite complaining all summer about the school’s terrible food. She only ate individually wrapped snacks, hardly touching anything prepared for her. She had even caught her swapping plates with Matilda on multiple occasions, citing her own portion was too burnt, despite not a trace of black that Jennifer could see. She had passed it off as Hortensia being purposefully difficult, or a quirk, like Matilda’s insistence that food couldn’t touch on her plate.   Why? Why on earth would she think this?    “I. Am. Not. Poisoning. You.” She said firmly, before sighing. “Are you talking about your medication?”    “You’re putting it in my food, making me have those episodes.”    “Hortensia! No, I am not putting anything in your food! If I was, do you think I’d be fighting with you every morning and evening to get you to take them?”    “It’s for show.” Hortensia muttered matter-of-factly.    “I don’t know why you’re having these episodes. I want them to stop just as much as you do! Why do you think I’ve been taking you to all these doctors?”   “For show.” Hortensia said again. Jennifer put her face in her hands trying to fight the urge to cry. This went far beyond a kid’s imagination running wild.    “Tens,” Jennifer whispered, “I’m trying to help you. I would never do anything like that, I lo-”   “Don’t!”    “Why does this upset you?”    “You say it to everyone; it doesn’t mean anything.” While it was true she did often say it to the children who came up and gave her a hug at school, and yes, there were a lot of them, couldn’t Hortensia see that she was loved by her actions? Or was that asking too much of her?    “Of course I love you. Of course they aren’t empty words.”   “I don’t want you to love me.” Hortensia said so quietly Jennifer wondered if she had heard wrong. What kind of child didn’t want to be loved?   “Everyone needs to feel loved.” Jennifer said after a minute to think it over. “Life can be very lonely and miserable without it.”   “I’m miserable now.”    “And you think me not loving you is going to help?” Hortensia was silent. “Why do you feel this way? Why don’t you want me to love you?”   “It makes me feel bad.”    “But…why? Love isn’t supposed to make you feel bad.”   “I don’t know!” Hortensia cried. “It just does! It makes me feel bad inside.”    “Can you tell me more about it?” Silence. “Tens?”    “I don’t know! I’m not lying! I just don’t know!”    “I believe you. Take your time.”    “I know what I’m supposed to feel,” Jennifer nodded and waited for her to finish her thought. “But all I can think of is my mom. I feel like…I’m doing something wrong, and not in a fun way.” Jennifer frowned.    “I think what you’re describing is guilt.”    “I guess.”    Now they were getting somewhere.   “Do you think allowing yourself to be happy with us would somehow hurt your moms feelings?”    Nod.   “Oh, Tens.” She said sadly. “I don’t think she’d want you to feel that way. The thing about being a parent, well, a decent one anyway, is that you want the best for your children, and you want them to be happy, even if it means you’re not the one doing it.”   “Huh?”   “What I mean is, just because she is alone and unhappy right now, it doesn’t mean she’d want that for you, especially not with everything you’ve been going through. Stop trying to shoulder this on your own, please.” Jennifer said before she whispered. “It’s breaking you.”    “I’m not like Matilda.”    “You don’t need to be. You only need to be you.”    “You’re not my mom.”    “I’m not, but that doesn’t mean the three of us aren’t a family.”    “I-I don’t want a new family! I want my mom!”    “I know you do…” Jennifer said sadly. They both sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jennifer stood up. “Try and get some sleep.”    “Jenny?”   “Yes?”    “Never mind, It’s nothing.”    “Tell me.” Hortensia shook her head. Jennifer paused in the doorway.    “I…leaked.” Hortensia mumbled. “And I don’t have anymore nappies.” Jennifer internally groaned. She had asked Hortensia just yesterday how she was doing on nappies and she had said she was fine.    “How bad?’” Jennifer asked. “Do you need new sheets?” She flicked on the lights and sighed. Yes. Yes she did. “Were you even wearing a nappy?”   “Yes!” Hortensia huffed out offended. “It was just crooked or something.”    “How is it that crooked? Take off your pajamas, they're soaked.” Jennifer rolled her eyes when Hortensia kicked her pants off. No wonder. The sides were absolutely shredded. “How long have you been wearing that same nappy?”    “Just today.”    “It looks like you’ve tried to pull it off ten or more times! There’s no way you’ve only been wearing it today.”   “It’s a pain to get off and on. Why do you think I take so long in the bathroom?” Hortensia grumbled.    “Because you're playing your Gameboy.”   “No, I’m not!” Hortensia said, but her averted eyes told another story. Jennifer gave her a doubtful look. “You do crosswords” she grumbled.    “I don’t run in the bathroom just to do crosswords when I know I should be working on school work.” Jennifer said. “Look, it’s late. I have some nappies in my room. You can clean all this up in the morning. C’mon, you can sleep with me.”    Hortensia silently followed along, standing awkwardly to the side as Jennifer dug the box out from underneath her bed. She tried to cover its contents with her body as she fished a nappy out of a package.   “What is all that?” Hortensia asked, peeking over into the box. “Oh, hey, it’s those nappies. I like these one’s better.” Jennifer looked up from the box, surprised.    “You do?” Jennifer asked, eyebrows raised. “Even though they're…childish?” And not discrete whatsoever.    “They're comfy.” Hortensia said. “But I wouldn’t wear them during the day, it’s hard to walk normally.” Well, that was because they were made to make you waddle on purpose. Brian had asked her to try it and she had. Once. It wasn’t for her. Now the box of adult sized baby paraphernalia  sat under her bed gathering dust. “Is that a…?” Before Jennifer could stop her, Hortensia’s arm had shot in and pulled out a very large baby bottle.    “It was Amber’s things for convalescing.” Jennifer said, taking the bottle from her and throwing it back in the box.    “Huh?”    “She was very sick and couldn’t eat solid foods, so she drank out of a bottle.” Jennifer had no idea if this was true or not.    “Okay, and this…?” Hortensia held out a giant pacifier. Jennifer grimaced.    “For seizures, now put it back.”    “Oh, I thought she just liked being a baby, that’s why she had two ghosts.”    “Two ghosts?”    “Yeah, Amber the grownup and the other one.” Hortensia said before rolling her eyes. “Brat.” she muttered. Brat? “Didn’t you see the kid in the animal pajamas?”    “Yeah, but…”   “They’re there in the box.” She dug through it and came out with a dalmatian onesie.    “I wondered who that was.” Jennifer muttered. “You think it was her at the skate park that one day?”    “Probably, she liked throwing stuff.”    “Liked?”    “She’s gone now.” Jennifer picked up on the note of sadness in her voice. She hadn’t paid much attention to the lack of her unwanted house guest, assuming Amber had been at Brian’s with her own family now that Hortensia was safe. Perhaps what she had witnessed that morning was Amber saying her goodbye’s.    “For the best.” Jennifer said, trying not to show how happy she was knowing her boyfriend's dead wife would no longer be spying on them fooling around. “What of the others?”    “They're all gone.” She could hear the crack of emotion in Hortensia’s voice.    “You liked having her around, didn’t you?” She nodded and wiped at her eyes with the back of her arm. “Well, here, go rinse off and put this on.” Hortensia was about to head into the bathroom but Jennifer stopped her. “If you ever need help with them, you can ask me. It’s torn to shreds.”     “It’s hard getting them off in time.” Hortensia mumbled before disappearing inside the bathroom. Jennifer surveyed her bed before grabbing the load of clothes she hadn’t had the energy to hang up onto her dresser. Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow, she thought sarcastically. The stress had been taking a toll on her energy level and she was finding simple tasks monumental. She was about to climb into bed when she noticed something was missing. Spot. She’d want him.   So Jennifer made her way back to Hortensia’s room, flicked on the light and began the hunt. She was surprised when she didn’t find him on her bed. She looked around the sides to see if he had fallen onto the floor, but he was nowhere to be found. Had she brought him with her and Jennifer just hadn’t noticed? He wasn’t under the bed, behind the headboard, in her closet or wrapped up in her blanket. She was about to give up and go back when she noticed something white sticking out between the box spring and mattress. Jennifer pulled it out and blanched. What?   She held the dismembered stuffed dog in her hands. He had been gutted from face to pelvis, his stuffing had been removed and his eyes had been gouged out.    Jennifer gripped the not-so-stuffed-dogs remains in her fist and made her way to the bathroom. She threw open the door without knocking and, ignoring Hortensia’s shouts of protests, and held up what was once her most cherished possession.    “I’m not dressed! What the hell? Knock!” Hortensia shouted.    “Explain.”    “Get out!”    Without a word, Jennifer grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her bed. She pulled out the changing mat and laid it out on the bed.    “Lay down.” Jennifer ordered. She grabbed the nappy from Hortensia’s hands and pointed. Hortensia's eyes went from her, to the bed and back to the nappy in her hands.    “No, that’s weird.” she whined.    “Lay. Down. Now.”    Reluctantly, Hortensia climbed onto the mat and winced and Jennifer began to wipe her down with wet wipes.   “Stop!” Hortensia complained.    “You’re wet.” Jennifer said, ignoring her protests and squirming. “Besides, i’ve been changing your nappies for months.”    “I don’t want you to!”    “I’m not leaving you to sit in your own waste.” She sprinkled powder over her skin and taped the new nappy dotted with cartoon circus animals onto her waist. She used another wipe on her own hands before crossing her arms and meeting Hortensia’s glare. “Explain to me why you’ve destroyed your favorite toy.”    “I’m too old for stuffed animals.” Hortensia mumbled.    “I saw you just the other day cuddling with him, and now I see he’s been autopsied! You know, most people who outgrow their stuffed animals put them in their closet and leave them be. You look like you tried to harvest its organs!”    “I wanted to know what was inside.” she whined.   “Stuffing! Stuffing was inside! Hortensia, what is going on with you?” But she had curled up into a ball and ignored her question. Jennifer sighed in defeat and climbed into bed. It was quarter to five in the morning. The stress was sitting in her stomach like a rock, making her feel nauseated and queasy. By six, she could no longer lay down, and by the time her alarm went off at six-thirty, she had her head in the toilet, vomiting up last night's chicken alfredo.   “Sorry, girls, you’re on your own for breakfast.” Jennifer said when she finally managed to extract herself from the bathroom. “I’m not feeling so good this morning.”    “I’m going to get sick now!” Hortensia lamented.    “I’m not sick. I’m just stressed.” She mumbled into her fist.    “You can get sick from stress?” Hortensia’s face fell.    “She does. All the time.” Matilda said. “I asked her questions about her scars once and she puked all over the hiking trail.”    “Please, no more talk about puking.” Jennifer moaned. “Thanks.” She said a few moments later when Matilda slid a cup of tea in front of her. She forced herself to smile and take a sip. “Feeling better already.” She lied.    “Where’s mine?” Hortensia scowled when Matilda poured herself a cup and sat down.   “Go make your own.” Matilda said, taking a sip. Hortensia made a disgusted noise and slid off her chair.   “You took all the hot water!” Hortensia complained.    “Girls, please, not today.” She peeked out of her mostly closed eyelids and saw the time. “Hortensia, if Matilda made eggs, would you eat them?” She saw the girl avert her eyes. That was a no.    “Am I making eggs or not?” Matilda asked, looking from one face to the other.    “If you want them.”    “Do you?”    “No, thank you though. I’m fine with tea.”    “Same.” Hortensia said, sliding back into her seat with a mug.    “You want some tea with that sugar?” Matilda teased. Jennifer opened her eyes to see the table now littered with empty individual sugar packets and crystalized white beads.    “How about you get some of that in the mug.” Jennifer said before sliding out from her chair. “I’m going back upstairs for a bit.” She stared at Hortensia pointedly. “Eat something. Besides sugar packets. And don’t forget to put your sheets in the wash.”    “Are you going back to bed?” Matilda asked.    “No, I just need to make a few phone calls.”   “Are you going to call the doctor?”    “Yes.”    She slowly made her way up the stairs and to the privacy of her bedroom.    “What do I do?” Jennifer asked in a shaky voice. She got the answer she had been afraid of. She let out a held breath. “Okay.” she said in resignation. She was out of options. Her mind raced. She wanted to lie down and go back to sleep. Once she was able to collect herself, she called the detective back and asked to reschedule their meeting. He didn’t sound happy about it, but he agreed.    “It is imperative that we speak soon.”    “Since I have you on the phone, can I ask you something? Can you prosecute him without her?” He was silent for a moment. “I have a neighbor that came by last night that attends her church. He said his lawyers would attack her character. She’s just a kid! She’s gone through something horrible! No one would possibly do that to a kid…right?”    “We will try our hardest to shield her from any push back.”   “What do you mean shield her? Is an adult really going to drag an eleven-year-old through the mud?” He cleared his throat. Her nausea was rearing its ugly head, but she swallowed down the bile in her throat. “Is it true that rape victims are attacked in court?”   “As heartless as it seems, it is a common defense tactic, but I wouldn’t worry about it.”    “There’s other people that have come forward, is their testimony enough? She’s…she’s not well.”   “If we want a slam dunk conviction, we will need her testimony. She is the only one with documented injuries of a sexual nature. This case is…this case is unprecedented. It’s going to attract a lot of media attention as more details come out. We’ll do our best to protect her identity as much as possible.” But Jennifer had a feeling they already knew who had made the allegations, even before she had opened her big, fat mouth.    “What kind of things will they try to say about her?”    “A lot of bollocks, really. Things anyone could see right through like, she initiated, or consented. No one with half a brain cell is going to believe that.”    “What makes this case so unprecedented?”  Another pause.    “Well, as you know, this is much bigger than one person. And, well, I’d really feel more comfortable talking to you in person rather than over the phone, there’s something we’d like you to see.”    “I need to go to the hospital. I’ll see if I can make it after.”    After she hung up and finally mustered the strength to get herself in the shower, she slowly made her way down the stairs, wrinkling her nose at the smells coming from the kitchen.    “I said you could make eggs, not a full english breakfast.” she said, surveying the mess of ingredients. Both the girls were standing in front of the stove, a piece of bacon sticking out of the older one's mouth. Well, at least she was eating.    “Sure you don’t want some?” Matilda asked. “Might make you feel better if you ate.” Jennifer highly doubted anything that greasy would make her feel better. Just watching it bubble in the pan made her stomach do the same.   She forced another smile. “I’m fine, you enjoy.”    “What did the doctor say?” Matilda asked. Jennifer bit her lip. “You did call the doctor, right?”   “I did.” She said, taking a seat at the kitchen table, “Have to go to the hospital this morning, so hurry up and eat you two.” Matilda seemed to stare at her suspiciously for a moment. “What?”    “Nothing.” she said, shoveling food onto plates.    “Why do we have to go?” Hortensia complained. “Ow! What was that for?”    “She’s sick, stop being a pain.”    “Can I stay here instead? I promise I’ll do my school work!”    “Yeah, right.” Matilda said, rolling her eyes. Jennifer shared her sentiment.    “You have to come.” Jennifer said. “Bring your Game Boy.”    …   “Mom, seriously?” Matilda said. She should have known Matilda would peak over at what she was writing. Jennifer put a finger to her lips and gave her an exasperated, pleading look before returning to her clipboard of intake paperwork. “You need to get checked.”    “I’m fine. I’m stressed.”    “You said you called the doctor, liar.” Matilda said, crossing her arms and glowering at her.   “I did call the doctor.”    “Your doctor.”    “I’m fine, Matilda. Read your book.”    “You are not fine. You had to pull over three times to be sick on the way here.” She knew she shouldn’t have eaten, but she didn’t want to hurt Matilda’s feelings and she had to prove to Hortensia nothing was wrong with her portion of the food. She watched Matilda get up and storm up to the front desk and return with another clip board.   “Matilda, what are you doing?” She looked over and let out a defeated groan.    “You’re being seen.” Matilda stated. She picked up the chained pen and began filling out paperwork. Jennifer shook her head.    “Hortensia Be-Bied-Bieder-” The intake nurse frowned and looked across the room. “Is there a Hortensia here?”    “C’mon, let’s go.” Jennifer said, standing up. Hortensia looked up from her game, confused.    “I thought we were here for you.” Jennifer gave her a pained look.   “We are.” Matilda said firmly.    “I had to.” Jennifer said softly.    “Had to what?” Hortensia asked, as Jennifer ushered her forward to the triage. She took one look at the cart of empty blood vials waiting for her and froze. “No! No! No! No!” She turned to run back the way she had come but Jennifer blocked her.    “It’s just a blood draw, chicken.” Matilda said.    “Matilda,” Jennifer hissed. She didn’t need her getting worked into a frenzy, although she knew it would be unavoidable once she learned why they were there. “You want me to go first?” Hortensia nodded, already looking white as a ghost. “Do you mind? I think I’m next on the list, thanks to a little someone…” She stared at Matilda who gave her a guilty smile. “Jennifer Honey.”    The man working triage nodded and picked up a different clipboard. “So both of you are being seen?”   “Yes,” Jennifer said as she took a seat.    “And what is it that you’re being seen for?”    “A little queasy this morning.”  “That poor hydrangea bush begs to differ.” Matilda said. Jennifer rolled her eyes.    “Let’s start with your weight and height.” he led her to the scale where the number that appeared made her even more nauseous. How had she put on so much weight? She had been stress binging, she knew, but still. He led her back the chair where he took her blood pressure, and asked her more routine questions. No, she didn’t smoke or drink. No, there wasn’t any chance she was pregnant. No, she didn’t take any illegal substances.    When it came to the blood draw, she tried to appear as straight faced as possible despite Hortensia looking everywhere but at her. When she was handed a urine specimen cup, she decided to wait for Hortensia. She didn’t trust her not to bolt while she was in the restroom.   “Your turn.” He turned to look at Hortensia who let out a pitiful sounding whine.    “It’s alright, it doesn’t hurt.” Much.    It took twenty minutes, and two staff members to hold her down.    “Would have been much easier if you didn’t fight.” He sounded like he was more than ready for her to go back to the waiting room. At least Hortensia was so preoccupied by the blood draw she hadn’t heard her conversation with triage as to why she was there. If she had, she hadn’t said anything about it.    “The worst is over.” Jennifer said once they were in the bathroom. “I don’t think you’ll be getting any more needles.” Hortensia ignored her and went into a stall. Once they dropped off their urine samples, they went back out into the waiting room and waited another hour. Twice Hortensia had tried to excuse herself to the restroom, but Jennifer had Matilda go with her every time to put a stop to any escape attempts.    “Hortensia.” someone with a clipboard shouted into the waiting room. They didn’t attempt to say her last name this time.    They were led down a hallway to a row of curtains and to the third one to the left. “I’ll get another chair for you.” Jennifer took a seat on the chair and motioned for Hortensia to have a seat on the bed.   “What are you three doing back here?” a familiar voice said. Jennifer gave her an uneasy smile.    “I thought you worked nights.”    “In a perfect world. I get called in at all odd hours.” She said. Jennifer tried to remember her name. Helga? Helen? Eventually she gave up and stared at her name tag. Meaghan. Not even close. “So I get both of you today I see.”    “Her doing.” Jennifer said, nudging Matilda.    “Did someone bring a virus back from school?” Meaghan laughed.    “No.” Matilda said. “I’m making her get seen. She keeps puking.” Jennifer shrugged before frowning as she was handed another green bag.    “I’m fine.” She said.   “You don’t look fine.” Meaghan said.    “Thank you!” Matilda said.    “Now, who wants to go first?” Both Jennifer and Hortensia pointed at each other. Meaghan smiled and held up two charts, clipboards facing them. “You pick.” she said to Matilda, who pointed to the left. “Hortensia it is.”    “Traitor.” Hortensia grumbled before eying Meaghan distrustfully.  “You better not put anything up my arse this time.”    “Hortensia!” Jennifer groaned.    “I think your arse is safe for the time being.” Meaghan said, looking over her chart. She flashed Hortensia a sympathetic smile. “I see here you’re having a hard time with everything. Why don’t you tell me a bit why you’re here.”   “I don’t know.” Hortensia grumbled. Meaghan turned to Jennifer.    “I called her doctor and they told me to bring her in,” Jennifer said before letting out a held breath. “She needs to be admitted for psychiatric evaluation.” Hortensia’s head swiveled around.    “What?” she demanded.    “I’m sorry, I-I have to.” Jennifer said. She couldn’t meet her eyes.    “Can you tell me a little bit about what’s going on?”    “Delusions, mood swings, she won’t eat, she’s destroying things, having these strange episodes where she spaces out and won’t come to and-” She put a fist to her mouth.    “In the bag.”    Jennifer retched as Hortensia and Matilda recoiled.  “Sorry, I get sick to my stomach when I’m stressed.” Jennifer mumbled, before thanking her for the napkin to wipe her mouth. She might have been imagining it, but Meaghan looked like she wanted to laugh. “I think she might have some kind of infection as well.” Jennifer added when her senses came back.    “Doctor will take a look when he comes in. As for you, I’m going to have you two switch places for now before I need to get the smelling salts again.” Matilda laughed at this.   “Did she really pass out?” Matilda asked.   “Yes, I did.” Jennifer groaned, earning another laugh from the girl.    “What are you laughing for? You just jumped nearly six feet in the air when your mom got sick.” Meaghan teased as she helped Jennifer lie down. “Doctor might want to start an I.v. for fluids.” Now it was Hortensia’s turn to laugh.    Sure enough, Meaghan came back twenty minutes later carrying a bag of syringes and coil. Hortensia looked like she was the one about to be sick.    “Got it, all done.”    “What? Already?” Hortensia said in disbelief. Jennifer had a feeling Hortensia had expected her to suffer through a couple failed attempts.    “That’s how easy it can be when you don’t need five people holding you down.” Meaghan said.     “No fair.” Hortensia grumbled. “You poked me like 12 times!” She looked at Matilda. “How many times did they get you?”   “Once.” Matilda said with a grin. Hortensia rolled her eyes before standing up.    “I need the lou.” She said.   “You just went to the lou.” Matilda complained.    “Well, I have to go again!” she said before taking off.   “Go with her, please.” Jennifer said before shutting her eyes. Maybe she did have an infection. Or she was trying to run off.    She opened her eyes when a new person pulled back the curtain. She blinked and lifted her head. The girls were back already? She must have fallen asleep. He introduced himself as the doctor on call. She ran through Hortensia’s symptoms and troubling behavior as Hortensia glowered at her and said nothing. He then began asking about her diet, and how much sugar she had this morning. Jennifer said a lot.   “So I did speak with her pediatrician, and we are going to go ahead and admit her. What we want to address the most is her eating.  We are going to admit her as an E.D. patient, which means she will have more supervision during meals. One thing we did find in her labs is her blood sugar is quite elevated, so after we get her eating on a normal schedule and give her body a chance to adjust, we are going to rerun the blood panel and check that over.”    “Oh, well, umm, I’m concerned about her mental state. She’s having these delusions that I’m poisoning her. Shouldn’t that be the thing to address? It’s great if you get her to eat here, but what happens when she comes home?”   “I know it sounds illogical to us, but after going through her chart and seeing what happened. Her being afraid her food is being poisoned is actually a rational concern. Her food was being tampered with. Questioning the adults in her life is actually a natural response. After going through her medical history and seeing her lab results, I have a suspicion I know what’s going on and it may not be entirely psychiatric. Yes, she absolutely needs and will receive therapy and psychiatric help, but we need to rule out any physical causes.”    “Oh I agree, completely. I just feel like we’ve been to so many doctors and everyone keeps referring us back to psychiatry.”    “Have you been to an endocrinologist?”    “Maybe? I’m not sure. I thought it was one of the first places we were referred to, but I can’t remember if it was for Hortentsia or Matilda though.”   “Me.” Matilda said. Oh.    “Well, like I said, we want to keep an eye on her blood sugar. If it comes back this elevated again we’ll need to start her on insulin right away.”    “Insulin?” Oh god no. Please no. Not that. “She’s diabetic?”    “We will know for sure in a couple of days, but my money’s on yes.” Jennifer cringed. Images of chasing her down and trying to stab her with an insulin pen made her feel queasy again.    “She’s afraid of needles.” She groaned.    “Well, if she is diabetic, we can talk about treatment plans then. As for you.” He smiled and opened her folder. “Congratulations is in order.” She blinked in confusion.    “I don’t feel much like celebrating.”    “Morning sickness will do that.” Morning sickness? She laughed.   “No- no, there’s no way-”   “You’re pregnant.”