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Sophie ♥

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About Sophie ♥

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  1. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    Thanks everybody for all the nice words!! I would address them all separately, but I'm sleepy and lazy today. I'll have another chapter up tomorrow. I'm so glad everybody liked the bit about hide and seek. As Kimmy said - the whole paragraph was very personal. I was trying to convey what it's like when two people share something but neither one is willing to talk about it. But it's not like, fear. It's trust. And little stuff is definitely one of those things for me. I also wanted to really show that being there for someone didn't always require communication - sometimes just "being there" is enough. And understanding. My favorite thing about Jamie in this chapter is her constant need to /understand/ Madison. Not just for her own gain, but for Madison's. I really love Jamie as a character. I think she's a great embodiment of some of my best traits. And I think everyone needs someone so understanding and attentive, regardless of their interests and history.
  2. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    That is absolutely the way they need to solve their problems.
  3. Sophie ♥

    Pick Your Battles - Eps. 4 by Sophie!

    Pick Your Battles: Episode 4 (Or: Kimmy turned everyone against me!) By Sophie Work had been a little more eventful than I had anticipated. One minute I was doing my job - albeit, a very easy job of answering phones - and the next I’d dropped so far into Littlespace that I couldn’t spell the clients’ names correctly. That’s what I get for talking to Kimmy all day, I thought. She’s an evil mastermind… Chloe picked me up from work like every other Monday. But this time, the back door was open. I checked the passenger seat through her window to see who she had brought along for the ride, but it was empty. Huh? “Get in,” Chloe told me. “I can’t sit in the front?” I asked. “I heard from a reputable source that you aren’t big enough to sit in the front today.” My cheeks went crimson. Kimmy. “Well too bad, I’m sitting up front anyway.” “Good luck,” Chloe chimed. “The door is locked.” I took a moment to consider my options. But it had been a long day. I just wanted to get home. So with a begrudging sigh, I climbed into the back seat and closed the door behind me. I took out my phone. This was so stupid… Sophie: …Chloe put me in the back seat. Sophie: You’re a monster. Kimmy: Me? Kimmy: I didn’t do anything! Sophie: I do not believe you at all!!! Kimmy: Is it hard to think from the backseat, cute little Sophie? Kimmy: Do you feel all blushy? Chloe’s voice drew me away from my phone. “Aww look at you! You’re blushing!” Her eyes peeked up at me through the rearview mirror. I shrunk into my seat. Kimmy: Did Chloe see you blush? How the hell did she know that…? Sophie: You turned everyone against me! Kimmy: I know, it’s like a fantasy for you Kimmy: Like something out of one of your stories My pinkness in my cheeks deepened. One of my stories… my thoughts went to Luzy, to Wendy, to Madison. They just needed strong hands to guide them from the real world into littlehood. Helpless, serene littlehood… I was slipping. Sophie: People are supposed to listen to me, Kimmy. Kimmy: Oh but you don’t want them to, Sophie Kimmy: You want them to MAKE you be the baby Only an hour ago, she had done this to me. I knew how effective she could be when she tried. Now, she had swayed Chloe to her side. She could enact her virtual threats in reality. She only had more power. Then a thought struck me. Last night, I’d given her Mommy’s contact information. My heart sank. No… she wouldn’t. Right? Sophie: Don’t start with me, Kimmy! Sophie: I am the center of the universe. Sophie: I’m in charge. Kimmy: Once upon a time …oh no… Kimmy: There was a little girl named Sophie Kimmy: Who convinced everyone she was big A trigger. Something I didn’t even know I had. Storytime. Little girl named Sophie. Logic fogged over. The rational, mature side of me slipped away. No, she was tugged away. Tugged away by stupid Kimmy and her stupid words… Kimmy: But then she met Kimmy Kimmy: Who showed alllllllll her friends just how little she was Kimmy: And how she REALLY wanted to be treated Sophie: I… that’s not… Kimmy: And then it was back seats and spankings Kimmy: And poor little Sophie never got to be big again! I looked up from my phone at the rearview mirror. It seemed so far away now. The car seemed so much bigger. Chloe said something to me, something about how cute I was, and I blushed and kicked my feet. “You’ve been such a good girl this car ride,” Chloe said as we drew closer to the house. I was struggling to figure out exactly where we were - she must have taken a different route home. “How about we get you some ice cream?” “Yeah?” I asked, an upward inflection at the end of the question. My eyes lit up. I asked Kimmy what flavor I should get. Cookie dough or sprinkles. In the end, I got both. I sent her a pretty picture of my ice cream and offered to share with her. The moment was serene, pure, simple. And even though I ate too much and got a tummy ache, I was nothing but smiles until we got back to the house. That’s how the story should have ended. I had picked my battle. I had lost. But that was only stage one of Kimmy’s devious plot. I should never have trusted her. “Oh look at my little girl,” Mommy said as I walked in the door. Instinctively, immediately, she knew I had fallen out of adulthood. Or had she been told? “Not little,” I muttered, trying to muster some degree of maturity. But my voice was soft and high, slurring consonants at the ends. My world was so vastly different to this one. Brighter. Bigger. The simple, obvious, tedium held so much hidden interest, hiding behind the corners. My cheeks were warm. My smile was ever-present. “Really?” Mommy asked, rhetorically. “How about we talk about it in our room?” It seemed that question was rhetorical too, since she grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me down the hallway without a moment to respond. She closed the door behind us and led me to the bed. I knew what came next. A diaper. Teasing. Cementing my fall from adulthood. I started to argue, but was caught by surprise. Rather than pushing me down on my back, she pulled me hard across her lap. I was so weak, so vulnerable, that I never thought for a second that I could stop her. “HEY! No, wait!” “I heard that you were a very bad girl for your babysitter today,” Mommy said, as her hand rubbed the seat of my work pants. Babysitter? Kimmy? I puffed out my cheeks in defiance. “Kimmy is not my babysitter!” I hollered, kicking my feet as her hand came down hard on my backside. She had learned so much in such a short time. It stung, even through my pants. I whimpered. “Not Kimmy, silly. What you call your co-workers. But we all know you don’t actually ‘work’. It’s just a glorified daycare.” I was stunned. I fumbled for words, but nothing came out. Nothing concrete, at least. Nothing that made any sense. She spanked my ass again and I buried my face in the bedsheets. “Count.” Ugh, she’d picked that up from Pudding… another spanking and another yelp. “Count,” she said again. “I hate repeating myself.” I fought. I thought I could win. I thought she would give in long before Pudding did. Her hand would get tired or she would get bored. She would ask if I’d learned my lesson and I would say yes, even though I hadn’t. There was no lesson here. Another five spankings and my bottom was sore. Another five after that and I was out of breath. And Mommy showed no signs of stopping. She had no hesitance to her spankings. “Start counting whenever you’d like. I’ll keep going until you do.” Why did this always happen? Why did I always pick the battles I had no hope of winning? I kicked my feet and curled up tight on her lap, with my bottom high in the air. And I whispered: “One.” I had to count to ten, just like with Pudding. At least this time I had my pants on, I thought. But then she did something I didn’t expect. It seemed to be a day for that: unexpected actions. “Green?” she asked. A codeword. Was I okay for her to continue. More spankings?! But though my bottom was sore, my curiosity got the better of me. More spankings… she’d never spanked me like this before. “Green,” I muttered, and was dealt ten more. When all was said and done, she pulled me into her breasts and played with my hair. Her voice was quiet and calm, sweet and sugary. My reward. Good girl. Best girl. Always listening to Mommy. Won’t act up again. A beautiful princess. Not a brat. My head swam with warm words. I could have stayed there forever. But Mommy knew better. “You’re dry for now,” she whispered in my ear, “but after such a long day, I can’t trust you.” I knew what that meant. I didn’t want a diaper! I was a big girl, and… and this wasn’t fair. But I knew better than to argue. I’d learned the lesson she had intended to each me: that any battle I started would only lead me further into babyhood. Cooperation and acceptance was the only way out. She undressed me in one swift motion. Pants, undies, and socks fell to the floor. I only had a few diapers left - some thick, crinkly white ones that had persisted through the months of printed baby designs. We would have to order new ones soon. She would decide what was best. She touched my nose with the baby powder and I melted into the bed. A trigger. The inescapable scent of Littles. The overpowering crinkling of the diaper. The soft, thick padding between my legs. The loud tear of the tapes. Standing up and almost falling over. My knees pushed apart. I looked up at Mommy with glossy, bright eyes. I was under her spell. She dressed me in a onesie. She helped me into bed. She took off my glasses and whispered soft words into my ear. Then she had to do something - use the restroom like an adult or maybe make herself some dinner. I didn’t know. I fished around for my phone. Sophie: how u Kimmy: Yeah, I super okay Kimmy: Kachan kind of came down and dominated me like 2 min ago Sophie: Cuz u were bad today!! Sophie: Tattling and such!! Kimmy: I might get little too if Chloe keeps pushing my buttons Chloe? They were still talking? I grinned. That gave me an idea! Sophie: Yeeee I can tattle 2 Chloe on u Kimmy: nuuuuuu Sophie: 2 l8 Chloe was always a good caregiver. In our years together as friends, she had learned a lot about me. And Kimmy was basically just a more evil version of me, so Chloe could totally handle her. Mommy came back into the room in the middle of my text message to Chloe. She crawled into bed with me, holding me against her chest as I typed out the message. She read along silently. Sophie: Kimmy says u r a bb and can’t bb her “Did she actually say that?” Mommy asked me. I ignored her. Sophie: She is being very mean to me “You wouldn’t be lying, would you?” I started typing out a third message when Mommy took my phone out of my hands. “Hey!” “Didn’t I just spank you for misbehaving?” Before I could think of something to defend myself, Chloe came into the room and crossed her arms. “What’s this?” She held out her phone, with our text log open. “The truth!” I lied. “Yeah?” Chloe asked, and turned her attention to a fresh message from Kimmy. “Because she sent me exactly what you said to her, and it sounds like you’re just trying to get her in trouble.” …damnit. I looked up at Chloe. She was usually so much smaller than me, but today she seemed so… imposing. I looked over at Mommy for an answer, but she had that look on her face: ‘You got yourself into this mess’. My chest ached with anxiety. I… I didn’t do anything wrong! “This is all her fault!” I screamed, puffing out my cheeks. “She turned everybody against me! She told everybody I’m a baby, and I’m a not! I’m a big girl!” “A big girl in a diaper?” Mommy countered. “A big girl in a onesie?” But she put me in this! She dressed me up, and that didn’t mean I was a baby! And this wasn’t fair! And no matter how much I rationalized the situation, their ever-present stares of judgement had made flustered and nervous. I couldn’t vocalize what I was feeling. All the pressure built up in my stomach and I boiled over. I kicked and screamed and pounded on the bed. Chloe and Mommy let my fit go on for a few minutes, until Mommy was done with it. She took me by the wrist and pulled me into her chest, pushing her thigh against the thick padding between my legs. I struggled in her arms, but she wrapped me up tight and propped my puffy bottom in the air for Chloe to see. My cheeks burned in embarrassment. “THIS IS KIMMY’S FAULT!” I went on in a fit. “I’M A BIG GIRL AND THIS ISN’T FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIRRR!” “Big girls do not throw tantrums like this,” Chloe said sternly. “Kimmy didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know - that you are just a little girl deep down.” “NO SHE TURNED EVERYBODY AGAINST ME!” I kicked my feet so hard against the mattress that the momentum bounced them back up. I pounded my fists against the blankets and squirmed in Mommy’s arms. “IT’S HER FAULT!!” Chloe’s hand came down hard on my padded butt. I hardly felt it, but the shock and surprise forced me into silence. Mommy spoke, but she didn’t sound angry or upset. She sounded… resigned. Like this was inevitable. Like this was normal. “This is quite the tantrum, huh? You sure are cranky today.” That voice was so much worse than stern, sharp tones. I fell into complete embarrassment. My actions had been so… so immature. So childish. No, they had been outright infantile. I… I couldn’t come back from that. I’d always hold in my heart how I’d acted in that moment. I was Little, through and through. Chloe popped a pacifier in my mouth. “I think you need a nap,” Mommy told me, playing with my hair. “Maybe when you wake up, you’ll be a little less cranky.” I didn’t want to nap. I wanted to play video games. It was only six in the evening and I hadn’t done anything wrong. But all the while, as I argued in my head, as I sucked on the pacifier, as the thickness of my diaper crinkled against Mommy’s thigh… I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.
  4. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    Gosh.. thank you so much.
  5. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    38.) "You're in a good mood." Comparatively speaking - there was no such thing as happy Bess nowadays, but she semed less... sour. And they were eating together in a place that wasn't her dorm room, and Bess hadn't told Marnie she was awful at all. From across the diner table, Bess even stole a fry from her plate. "I am? I dunno. Maybe." I didn't really notice a shift in my mood, but I was getting my homework done a lot faster and classes were easier to pay attention to. It was Monday night and I still hadn't taken Adele up on her offer. Honestly... I wasn't really sure I could. Be alone with her again? Every time I thought about it, I wanted to throw up. "You still haven't mentioned anything about Adele." I shrugged. "I figured she would have come back by now." "Maybe." Marnie shrugged her shoulders, before continuing, "maybe it's like with ghosts, where she has to tend to unfinished business first? I don't know why you don't just give me the address and let me come with you, or at least you know... let me come hang out at a nearby coffee shop or something." Not that Marnie at all endorsed her best friend seeing Adele again, but there was pros and cons; maybe Adele wasn’t the only one with unfinished business. "I don't want to go back," I said plainly. Honestly. "I went there once. That was hard enough. Can't she just get over herself and go fix her fucking mistakes instead of hiding away in some back-alley bar?" My general disposition about the topic of Adele always shifted between bored and outright pissed. "I don't know, maybe you should ask her?" And then, uncharacteristic of Marnie, "I mean you improved a lot after giving her a piece of your mind, and maybe you'd never have progressed without that." Then again. "Maybe you're right, though, maybe she needs to just get over it. Kanna texted me, asked if I wanted to come to the club and hang out, but the idea of just her and me and nobody else... it seems so depressing." "I can go." I felt like the whole restaurant went silent, but it was just Marnie and me. I looked up from my phone at her, with her mouth agape. "What?" "You... want to go to the Lolita Club?" "Sure, why not?" Honestly, after seeing what a monster Adele was in her frilly little girl dresses, my association with weakness had completely broken. "Uh, okay." And then, as an afterthought, "Maybe you should let Adele know that, knowing you're at the club could get her out of her rut, you know? Not that I think you care, but you're a good person and maybe.... yeah, iono, forget it." Marnie rubbed the back of her hair sheepishly. "Adele can do whatever she wants. If she wants to sulk for the rest of her life, then she can go right ahead." That was the end of it. I didn’t have any pity for Adele. If anyone deserved to be pitied, it was me! I wasn’t going back to that apartment. It was... probably just too much for me. "I got class in the morning. I'll see you tomorrow at the club room then?" "See you there." Honestly, Marnie wasn't a part of the club anymore, but she still had some nice dresses, and maybe it would be nice to set some positive memories there, even if it was only her and Kanna and Bess and nobody else. Things were finally starting to feel normal-ish again. ----------- Thank you for reading! Please Like or Comment to show support! We also have a Patreon!
  6. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    You'll have to wait and find out! New chapter today, I promise.
  7. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    Sixteen. When I solved the mystery of Madison Bell’s smile, it was an easy riddle made hard by the riddler. Any time I came close to figuring it out, she would pull away. She would get angry or apathetic. She would stop texting me. She would hide the clues so I could never solve it. But I did anyway. This was different. The mystery of Madison’s eyes was a hard riddle made easier. I thought after I mentioned her childishness that evening on her sofa that she would retreat from it, but it was the opposite. She fed into my toy store trips. She recommended kids’ movies all the time, in case there was one I hadn’t seen. When I’d tease her, she would smile a smile so warm it would color her cheeks. She was giving me literally every clue I could ask for, and still, I didn’t understand. “So she just likes to act like a kid?” Polly asked. “It feels like more than that,” I said. “It feels intimate.” “Sexy intimate?” “No,” I sighed. “It’s like when you’re playing hide-and-seek, and you pick the same hiding spot as somebody else, but the seeker finished counting and you both have to cram into the back of a closet together. It’s quiet, you can see each other perfectly, and neither of you says anything. Your fates are intertwined, and one wrong word or one wrong movement means you both get caught. It’s a secret. A silent, quiet, absent secret, so desperate and so important that neither of you can bring yourselves to even mention that it exists. But that light in her eyes… you know she won’t let you down…” Polly grabbed my wrist and it drew me out of my uncharacteristic stint of introspection. I looked up at the playground - there was one by Polly’s house and it was the first nice day of February. It seemed a waste not to sit on the swings. “Jamie. What is going on?” “What do you mean?” “I’ve never heard you talk like that. Ever.” I shrugged and kicked the wood chips under my feet. “Why is Sunshine so important to you?” she asked. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “But she is. I just feel like… I need to figure this out. Like I need to understand her.” “Why?” “Because I don't think anyone else does.” Polly spun around in her swing, tightening the chains around one another. Then she uncoiled and snapped back into place. “Well,” she finally said, “how can I help?” “This kid stuff.” “Ask her about it.” “I don’t want to scare her away,” I said under my breath. “I feel like she’s warming up to me or something.” “Then just test the waters. Treat her like a kid.” “I already do,” I sighed. “Push the envelope. Transcend the typical ‘childish teen’ trope and push into the ‘childish child’ one.” “I don’t know what that means.” “Look here,” Polly said, getting off the swing, “she likes this kid stuff. And you don’t think it’s weird, right?” “I don’t think it’s that weird.” “Then see how deep the rabbit hole goes. And when you have enough proof, so much that she can’t run away from it, talk to her.” Well, I hadn’t come up with any better ideas myself, had I? “Thanks.” “Yeah,” Polly dismissed. “That’s what friends are for.” The next Monday at school, the temperature was in the fifties. If I turned the heat on when I got home from school, the house would still be warm well into the night. Mom worked a late shift too, until eight. If there was any other time perfect for a night alone with Madison Bell, I wouldn’t know it. “Tonight. You. Me. We’re watching that movie with the cats you keep talking about.” “I don’t know if I can,” she said with a tiny smile. No Days had become slightly more pliable after that first break from the norm. Some days were still confident ‘No’s, and others, less certain. Today was a less certain one. It wasn’t that she “couldn’t” come over, but rather that she “didn’t know”. So I decided to sway the decision in my favor. “We could wear pajamas. I watched my neighbor’s dog over the weekend, so I’ve got snack money. What do you think? Junk food, chocolate, pajamas, and Disney movies?” You could see the brightness burning in the backs of her eyes. I’d won this battle. “I can’t stay the night,” she said. “I’ll take you home at ten. The pajamas are just for comfort.” “I have to call my mom and ask.” “Keep me posted.” Her mom always said yes. From what I understood of it, Madison cared more about asking to come over than her mom did. And sure enough, after lunch, I got a text message: >> Mom says its fine!! See you after school~ I waited by the side-doors to the parking lot, looking up at the warm blue sky. The sun was bright today. All the snow had melted. I thought about what Polly had said on Friday - about how deep the rabbit hole went - and as strange as it seemed, I was really excited to find the answer.
  8. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    37.) It didn't seem like the kind of place Adele would live, or associate with - from the outside it didn't even look like there was room for an upstairs flat, but after asking at the bar, Bess was pointed to a door in back, barely visible through the smoke of vaping hipsters. A door that opened to a skinny stairwell, more like an attic entry than an upstairs, but at the top of the narrow ascent there was a door and although knocking on the door elicited no response at all, the announcement of who it was that was knocking certainly seemed to cause movement from inside. I checked my phone's GPS at least ten times. We were about half an hour off campus at some low-key bar in the middle of nowhere. The place was crowded, but mellow. Quiet for a bar. I thought I had the wrong place until I asked the bartender. Why was she here of all places? I knocked on the door at the top of the stairs and sighed. "Adele? It's Bess." There was movement, then a long pause. Then movement again, and finally the sound of locks being opened. I cracked the door enough to talk, but didn't let her see me - honestly, I looked awful, with my hair a mess, and wearing jeans and a blouse of all things. "Are you alone?" "Uh. Yeah. And if you try to kidnap me again, let it be known. I already have Marnie and my parents on standby. If I don't text in an hour, they'll call the police." Was that excessive? Probably. But I was taking precautions this time. I wasn't falling for any tricks. "Do you often come to peoples homes and then warn them about kidnapping you?" My tone was dry and humorless, because despite the fact I missed that stupid girl, I'd spent the intervening time trying to convince myself not to. "Listen, I don't have to stay. You don't even have to open the goddamn door. I'm just here to tell you that you're being a fucking baby about this. Look at me. I was the one that got electrocuted and had to shit herself, but I'm still going to school. And you leave your club all alone, that you care so damn much about?" Actually, I didn't give a damn about the Sweet Lolita Club. The whole place could burn down for all I cared. So why was I here? "They'll be fine without me, Bess. So will you. So just... go home, okay? Go back to school and enjoy your best friend. You won, alright? You got what you wanted." I went to push the door closed, but she wedged her foot into the opening to stop me. Ugh. So dramatic.. Ow. "Fuck you, you don't know anything okay!" I was emotional. I wasn't supposed to get emotional. I was angry and I just wanted to yell at her. But... this... wasn't what I expected. Honestly, I'd imagined this scenario every which way. And this didn't even cross my mind. So I removed my foot from the door and shook my head. "Fine. I'll go. 'Cause this is just pathetic. You're pathetic. At least when you were being a total psycho, you actually faced your problems. Now you're just hiding away?" Why did I even come here? And why was I so... disappointed. "I never knew you were so boring." And I walked back down the stairs. "Don't you speak to me that way." I'd opened the door, and stepped out of the little flat, my hand grabbing her shoulder at the top of the stairs and pinning her against the wall. I didn't look my best, no, but something she said sparked something in me and I held her there, hands on her hips. But not forceful... more... playful, like kittens wrestling. "I said don't you speak to me that way, Bessie." I looked up at her, two steps above me, so she towered over me in even more unrealistic proportions. And my stomach... well, it didn't feel bad. It sure didn't. "You look terrible," I told her, pulling myself away from the wall and almost tripping down the stairs. Her hand caught mine at the last second, pulling me back into balance. Welp. That was weird... "I've seen you look worse." I reminded her and held her there.... and then one hand touched her hair, and I scolded her playfully. "Your hair feels like straw - are you still using that awful combination shampoo conditioner I found in your bathroom?" "How are you lecturing me right now? Fuck, you're weird." Whatever it was that was missing since I ran from the Sweet Lolita Clubroom, it had come back. And I knew Adele had something to do with it. "Listen. I know you wanna do your whole Phantom the Opera hide-away-in-a-skeezy-bar side-story bullshit, but... I think like... Kanna sort of needs you? And maybe other people. Probably." "Yes, it's definitely altruism, that's why you're here, right?" It was weird, because I'd had absolute power over her for almost a week, I could do anything I wanted with her, and yet this moment of spontaneous contact, this...unpredictability... my heart was racing. And I could feel that hers was, too. "Hey, I just wanted to come and yell at you. You deserve it." She nodded her head. At least we agreed on that. "So like... get over yourself." Was I saying I wanted Adele back at school? Honestly, the whole campus was probably safer without her. She could have pulled away by now, but she didn't. She talked in one direction, but her body stayed against the wall. "You can come in for half an hour, but then you have to go, or else your little pep squad will get worried about you." I put my finger to her lips and shushed her, then touched her cheek. "I have no power over you but what you give." "I... I really can't. I've got studying to do and stuff..." And to be really honest, I couldn't be alone with Adele. Even now, alone in this staircase, with dozens of people downstairs, I was anxious. I was... scared. I turned and went down two stairs before Adele called after me: "It wasn't supposed to go like that! I got carried away..." I sighed and crossed my arms, looking up at her from the bottom of the steps. "We can talk about it later," I muttered, maybe too quietly for her to hear. "Bring your binky. And sushi," I said back, although she was at the bottom of the stairs and I was at the top, "next time you come over." I didn't know why I thought she'd come back, but it felt like it was okay to give her a direction for when she did, like we had some unwritten dynamic that neither of us really understood. I didn't let her answer, I maintained my authority, and went back into the flat, closing the door. Two goddamn minutes with her and she was already on my nerves again. How did anyone piss me off so... perfectly? ----------- Thank you for reading! Please Like or Comment to show support! We also have a Patreon!
  9. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    Thanks for the comments everybody. Thanks Sarah for letting me know you're there! If I don't get to posting a chapter today, I'll do two tomorrow.
  10. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    TRIP I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR RATIONALIZATIONS! XD The bowling one was superb! I'll get another chapter up today maybe? I'm having a quiet day with he girlfriend. ~Soph
  11. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    What would ever make you think such a thing?! bbykimmy droppin' by with AMAZING analysis as usual! I totally agree: love of obligation is not real love. Family has to be more, or it's not family. *nods* Uh huh. I think a lot of people - especially high schoolers - know what it's like to live behind a mask. It's really terrible to be so afraid to be yourself. But I'm rooting for Jamie. Thanks for reading everyone! Thanks for the likes and all the love. I'll get you guys another chapter soon.
  12. Sophie ♥

    Evil Lolita Club - Chapter 38! (8/20)

    36.) The next Monday, I went back to classes. It was rough at first, remembering how normal everything could be. I had a lot to catch up on, and my evenings were spent isolated in my room with every door lock fastened. But even without distractions, my mind kept drifting off. Friday, I didn't have classes. Usually I went to study groups or something, but I couldn't find the motivation. I sat in my room and looked out the window at the billowing trees, shy of leaves. Halloween had just gone by, sometime between my escape and my going back to school. Now it was November. I put my shoes on and decided to take a walk. Where was I even going? I didn't know. Maybe college really wasn't for me anymore. After everything with the Sweet Lolita Club... none of this really seemed that important anymore. So I let my feet take me wherever they wanted. I didn't even know, not consciously, where I'd end up until I did. At the door of the very club that held me hostage two weeks ago. There was no movement from beyond the door, no sounds of life, as though the colorful signage on the door that read 'All are welcome who value beauty' had somehow lost its saturation in the same way Bess had. Eventually, someone came and answered - a solitary face with a strong, but forced, smile. Kanna. "Oh hello Bess... you can come in if you like, but I'm afraid it would just be the two of us." I stood outside the frame for a long time. I remembered when I escaped through the window and the proximity shock kicked in. I remembered passing out in the bushes. If I walked in again, what would stop Kanna from putting that collar on me again? I pulled out my phone and checked the timestamp to my parents. Four hours. I had to text them again soon. Deep breath... and I took a step over the threshold and into the common room. The table was setup for tea, but there was nobody else but Kanna, as she'd promised. Bless her soul, she did her best, she was dressed up just as lovely as could be, but the worry in her face was hard to hide. "Would you like some tea? I might need to put on a fresh pot, it's been a while since I made that one. I hoped maybe if I made tea that people would come, but nobody did." "So Adele's...?" Kanna shrugged her shoulder and went to put on another pot of tea. "No, it's fine. Don't trouble yourself." There was no chance that I'd drink anything in this room ever again. I looked over at the beanbag chairs, at the projector screen on the far wall... everything seemed weirdly dull in color. Like the room had different lightning. "Um... Marnie said the club was... sort of drifting apart. Are you the only one still...?" "Oh no! No, no, the boys come by, and Caramel was here earlier, and..." Kanna was trying, she really was. "I think everybody wants to come to the club, but when they get here, it doesn't feel the same, so they leave?" Despite the protest, Kanna did brew some more tea, though she only poured it for herself. "How about you, Bess? How are you doing?" "That's a stupid question," I said harshly, taking a seat at the table in the middle of the room. "I was taken in the middle of the night, locked up here for almost a week, and made to dress like a fucking--" I stopped myself and looked up at Kanna. She wouldn't make eye contact. I crossed my arms and pouted. "...I've been better." "Is that why you're here? Are you looking for Adele, maybe hoping to give her a piece of your mind?" There was no judgment in Kanna's voice, but she was distant in her gaze, avoidant even. "I couldn't blame you, I'm not sure how things went down at the end there, but you two must have had a pretty bad fight, huh?" "...I don't know why I'm here," I told her honestly, looking down at my feet. "Maybe I'm angry at her and I just want to yell. Or maybe... not. I'm not sure." Adele really was gone then? But where would she go? I wondered about her room. I wondered about her diapers. I wondered if Kanna knew. I should tell her. I should humiliate Adele like she humiliated me. But I didn't say anything... It took Kanna a very long time for her to slide the note across the table, like she was shy to do so, like she was embarrassed or otherwise knew she'd regret it. But it had an address on there, written in writing far too pretty. "Look, I don't know where Adele is, but maybe if you look you'll find her." It was an address off campus, a little flat above a bar; something nobody else in the club even knew about - because it was Adele's official address. An address? I took the little note and turned it over, but there was nothing else written on the scrap of paper. I glared at Kanna and balled up the piece of paper. "If you want to find her, you go do it. I don't give a fuck." "If Adele wanted to contact us, she'd have done it." Her smile had dulled now, going cold like the tea was; quickly and unavoidably. "I found some of your clothes and laundered them, the ones you were wearing when you first arrived? They're on Adele's bed if you'd like to collect them on your way out.” "Whatever," I got up from the table a little too fast and the chair fell backward onto the carpet. I walked past Kanna and down the hall to Adele's room with all the grace of a wrecking ball. When I was finally standing between Adele's bed and her dresser, I stopped, sighed, and looked at the balled up piece of paper in my hand. Was this really where she was...? Was this just another trap...? I picked up the clothes off the bed and paused at the dresser. Just for the hell of it, I pulled at the drawer with the diaper covers, but it wouldn't budge. Locked. So it really was a secret, huh? Ha... "I'm going to be here a little while longer, just in-case anybody else comes by, so you're welcome to stay if you like... or come back?" Kanna hadn't gotten up from the table, though. She hadn't moved from where she was sitting for the entire time that Bess had been in Adele's room. Someone had to keep the light on, but it seemed at least for now, the fire in the hearts of the sweet lolita club was all but an ember now. I paused at the doorway and sighed, looking back at Kanna. She looked... sad. Had this stupid club really meant so much to her? What about all the others? Kanna was a weird person, because I almost broke her nose the day I met her and she still seemed amicable to me. So I thought to ask... "Do you blame me for all this? Is it my fault?" "You can't blame a storm for your house blowing down, Bess, the storm would have happened one way or another." It was a vague answer, but at least it seemed sincere. "Sometimes things happen, and they seem bad, but life has a way of working out... sometimes bad things happen for good reasons, sometimes bad experiences springboard into life changing growth. And sometimes... a duck is just a duck." "Sort of a non-answer, if you ask me." But Kanna didn't elaborate, so neither did I. I closed the door behind me and walked home. Who would have thought... after all that time and effort, the club was finally falling apart. And was it by my hand? No. It was Adele's. I thought she loved her members? I thought she wanted to make a happy, safe place for them. And now she's giving it all up because she did the right thing and actually let me go free? Seriously, what a bitch. I looked down at my pocket, where the scrap of paper with the address was sitting. Maybe I wanted to give her a piece of my mind after all... ----------- Thank you for reading! Please Like or Comment to show support! We also have a Patreon!
  13. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    Fifteen. Night and day were not powerful enough to describe this. Night in the country, where stars pepper the sky, where trees are invisible in the darkness and everything is a constant absence. Day in the city, a big city like New York or Los Angeles, when literally everything moves and all the sound feels heavy and the sun could fry you like a pancake on the sidewalk. Night and day in the most literal, polarizing way. That was Madison Bell at home and at Walmart. “I have never even seen this one before! You know they stopped making Polly Pocket? I think because the parts are too small and kids keep eating them, but I don’t see why that should ruin it for everyone else.” I remembered the word I most used to describe Madison and it was surely apt now. Annoying. “Oh, okay, look at this one. They are more like dolls now, with different clothes. But I remember when I was a kid. I had one that closed up, so you can take it to a friend’s house. Of course, I didn’t really have any friends, so I didn’t take it anywhere. And I don’t have it anymore. Actually, maybe I did take it somewhere, maybe to my grandmas? Maybe that’s how I lost it.” But that was the weird thing, maybe. This may have been the most annoying I had ever seen Madison in my ten years of knowing her. This singular moment was the most annoying I expected Madison could ever be. And… well… I wasn’t annoyed. Not at all. “Buy it,” I told her. Wow, she got quiet fast. “What? You want it. So buy it.” “It’s for kids,” she said flatly, like that was an excuse. “So?” “I’m not a kid?” She tried to elaborate but it came out like a question. “Again, so?” If I was ever so dense, I’d want someone to kill me. “You watch cartoons, and that’s for kids. And I buy Legos still and those are for kids. I play video games with Polly all the time. Aren’t those for kids?” “Right, but…” “But it makes you happy. And it reminds you of something you loved when you were younger, something you don’t have anymore. Isn’t that enough?” She looked at the shelf again, little plastic dolls with their little rubber outfits, and I watched her eyes sparkle with possibility. I wondered if she ever noticed me staring. No, she was far too dense. “You think it’s alright?” she asked. “I think it’s alright,” I told her, and walked her to the checkout. She couldn’t take her eyes off the package in her hands. Seriously, she was really… “Hey, Jamie?” I had never loved my name so much as when I heard it in her voice. She held up her toy for me to see. “Now we both have best friends named Polly.” She laughed at her joke. That’s all it was, an innocent joke. But maybe it struck a cord in me somewhere, in the place between my stomach and my heart. For some reason, it sounded like the saddest thing I’d ever heard. “She’ll have to settle for second place,” I said and wrapped my arm around Madison’s shoulder. “I was here first.” The whole way home, Madison played with her Polly Pocket. I swear, the entire way. She knew the names of the characters and she’d hold up the different outfits for me to see. I told her that I liked the dress with the flowers on it. She dressed Polly up in the flower dress after that. When we got back to her house, Madison’s dad’s car wasn’t in the driveway anymore. The sun had gone down early as it often does in late January. The clock on my dashboard read 7:03. But if no one was home… “Can I come in?” I asked. “Yes,” she said with certainty. “Absolutely!” The house was quiet and still again; this was a stasis I had grown used to at Madison’s place. I wasn’t sure where her parents were all the time, but Madison had assured me that both her mom and dad were busy people. To me, that seemed like a shitty excuse, but Madison didn’t seem perturbed by their absence. If anything, maybe she preferred it. “Want to watch a movie?” she asked me. “Sure, what do you have?” “Tons of stuff, lemme find something. Have you seen Frozen?” “Uh, yeah, once.” “Oh, what about Matilda?” “Probably when I was younger.” She paused and pursed her lips, thinking, maybe. Polly Pocket was still in her hands. I had a weird thought… “Let’s watch Matilda, then,” I told her. “But you’ve seen it,” she sighed, still lost in thought. “Forever ago. I don’t remember it.” I was lying. I did remember it. But it seemed to do the trick. “Okay, let me get my DVD!” She ran up the stairs and I sat back on the sofa with my arms crossed. This felt like… babysitting. We were only halfway through the movie when Madison put her head on my shoulder. I didn’t say anything, not right away, but I started to watch her more than the movie. She still had that doll in her hands. “Madison?” “Hm?” “You sort of act like a kid sometimes.” “I never noticed,” she said flatly, without looking away from the television. But she was close to me, her cheek to my shoulder, her head to my ear. Her hands were tight around her doll and my hands were loose and not around anything. And I can’t really explain it, I really can’t, but for some reason I didn’t believe her. “You aren’t convincing.”
  14. Sophie ♥

    Metro article on what it's like being ABDL

    This entire article hurts me. >_< Not even from an ABDL perspective. It's just extremely bad writing... like, you should organize your thoughts. And maybe check for spelling errors. *sigh*
  15. Sophie ♥

    Madison's Code

    This is extremely similar to my panic attack structure. They last about 15 minutes, depending on what got me worked up. Then afterward I'm so exhausted that I'm basically not myself the rest of the day. Unless I nap. An hour nap and I'm totally fine again. Really bad panic attacks, I only remember the beginning.