Meeting Place

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Somewhere along the way, I missed a week or three of posting, so here's another double-shot of story in an effort to catch up to where I think we should be now. Enjoy! Eighty “And where are you all going?” Mommy asked. “It’s a place that serves ramen downtown,” I replied. “I don’t remember the name. I guess that’s what Ava wanted.” “Ramen,” Mommy pondered aloud, stroking her chin. “Seems like a tricky date meal, doesn’t it? Lots of opportunities to make a mess of yourself. Do you want to bring a bib with you?” “I don’t think that…” She laughed to herself and shook her head–a common signal that she was just teasing. “It’s probably better that you make a mess of your shirt than a mess of your diaper.” “Uh, yeah,” I muttered. “I guess that’s why I’m, uhm, here…” Here was Ms. Potty, my new purple potty chair that Mommy got for me as part of her effort in ‘potty training’ me. It was currently sitting on the floor in the living room–and I was sitting on top of it. Truthfully, between the potty chair, the new potty chart that hung on the wall of the nursery, and her frequent requests that I stop what I’m doing and sit on said chair, it was clear that most of this was just for Mommy’s amusement. While I had become rather dependent on diapers over the last few months, I never truly lost the ability to get myself to the toilet–it was just a skill that needed a little polishing. I pushed again, hoping to convince my body to give up something into the potty. I got another trickle of pee, adding to the little puddle I made when I first sat down. “Empty?” she asked, standing by my side and looking down at me on my tiny little throne. “As empty as I can be for now, I guess.” I had asked Mommy if she thought I could go out without a diaper on. Personally, she had no objections to the idea–though she was concerned that I was being a bit hasty on the jump to ‘big-boy’ underpants. For a few minutes, I was feeling bold enough to just take a chance and leave the diapers at home. Ultimately, when I really thought about it, I decided that it’d be worse to be spotted soaking my underwear and pants while out in public than it would be to just wear a diaper and be a little more sure of myself. And so, I would be wearing a diaper out on the double-date. That, in itself, wasn’t a big deal, I supposed. Ava knew I wore diapers. Paige knew I wore diapers. Caleb was the only one who didn’t–unless Ava told him, though I doubted she would’ve. And if there was one thing I wished to achieve tonight–aside from the unlikely goal of wooing Ava into my arms–it was to not let Caleb see me as a baby. I stood up from Ms. Potty, and Mommy came prepared with a baby wipe, giving my undercarriage a quick clean before depositing the wipe into the chair’s bowl. “I got you something. For tonight.” “R-really?” I was interested, but I was also nervous. Knowing Mommy, it was likely going to be something ridiculous and humiliating. I imagined a t-shirt that read: Ask me if I need a diaper change.  Instead, she reached into a bag on the coffee table and handed me a…diaper? “Oh,” I said, feeling my lips frowning. “Another diaper?” She shook her head and laughed. “No, silly. It’s not just a diaper. Feel it. Do you notice anything different about it?” Now that she mentioned it… It seemed lighter. It seemed to have a cloth backing to it, instead of the more rigid plastic that I was used to. It seemed considerably less bulky overall. “What is this?” “Training pants,” she said. “Pull-ups.” She proceeded to sing the song–the one from the commercials I used to see on TV when I was an actual young boy: “I’m a big kid now!” “Y-you think I’m ready for these?” I asked. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe that was the case–I just didn’t believe that Mommy was on the same page. She shrugged. “I don’t know if you’re ready or not. But, I figure that they’re still diapers and they’ll at least help keep your pants dry if you have an accident. So…let’s try them out. Let’s see what happens.” It felt like a promotion. A step in the right direction. My face lit up and a sudden surge of good vibes coursed through my body so quickly that I almost felt a little woozy. Instead of tumbling over, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her tightly.  “Wow. You’re that happy about pull-ups?” “Maybe.” Yes and no, but we didn’t have enough time to fully explain. Yes, it was a ‘thank you’ for the pull-ups, but it was just as much a ‘thank you’ for everything. A ‘thank you’ for continuing to create a space where I could feel humiliated on a potty chair one moment, while excited to leave the house and see my friends the next.  “Alright, happy-baby. Let’s step into these bad boys, hmm? Let’s see how they look.” Just the motions required to put them on felt so different. Mommy didn’t have to put these on me–I could put them on myself. Like underwear. The last time I could remember going through these motions was when I met my mother for brunch–and I was never going to forget how that ended. This was good though. These wouldn’t–knock on wood–allow for an accident like that to happen again. “That’s it,” she nodded, watching as I stepped into them one foot at a time. “Now go on and just pull them right up.” They were thinner. Lighter. They had more give to them. I felt another wave of excitement wash over me as I got them past my knees and pulled them up my thighs.  Shit. I’m probably getting excited about these for the same exact reasons that little kids do when they’re given their first pair of pull-ups after all they’ve ever known is diapers. It would be my chastity that would remind me that there were some slight differences. It’s constant presence always served to remind me that there was a very adult aspect to the game we played, even when it was hidden away for long stretches at a time. The pull up fit mostly well–the cage itself causing the front of the pull-up to bulge out a bit more than I’d have liked. Mommy laughed at this and reached into the garment in an attempt to straighten it out. Her efforts seemed to have made only a nominal difference, though the feeling of her smooth hand on my skin never failed–even now, so long after we started–to get my soft cock to strain within its metal confines. “Well, that’s just going to have to be how it is,” she shrugged. “I doubt anyone will be able to tell once you put some pants on.” “I’m going to feel self-conscious about it all night,” I said, a tone that sounded a little more whiny than I’d have liked. “Little boys can’t have it all, it seems. You get to go and pretend to be a big boy tonight, and you get to wear a pull-up. The rest of it is what it is.” Fair enough, honestly. A month ago I wasn’t sure that I’d have imagined even this much. I found that my pants fit better than I remember them fitting in a long time. The pull-ups still have a slight amount of bulk to them, but it’s nothing compared to the diapers I was used to cramming into pants. Pants that weren’t made for holding that sort of extra junk-in-the-trunk. And when my pants fit better, suddenly I find myself feeling better about the way I look in the mirror. I look more adult than I have in ages. I feel more adult than I have in ages. And, to my relief, Mommy seemed to have been right–the pants did a pretty decent job of masking the lump in the front of my pull-up. “You look handsome tonight,” Mommy said to me at the door. “You always look handsome. But you look very handsome tonight.” It’s the sort of thing that mothers are just supposed to say, I think. But…this mother has allowed for my cock to slip inside of her–I feel like that gives her words a little more credence. “Thank you,” I said. “You’ll call me if there’s an emergency?” “Yes.” “What time will you be home?” “Do, uh, I have a curfew?” She chuckled and shook her head. “I just want to know at which point I can start being nervous when you’re not here.” “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “But I could text you throughout the night and keep you updated.” “Don’t text me too much, Baby. Pay attention to your friends.” Don’t worry, I will. “I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m coming home.” “I love you, Clark.” “I love you too, Mommy.” I didn’t expect it to happen–and maybe she didn’t either–but our faces tipped towards each other and we kissed. Her lips on mine. It was warm, it was wet, and it filled my belly with fire just as it caused my cock to writhe in discomfort. When her lips pulled away from mine, she gave me a smug grin. She said nothing, but she didn’t have to. The message was clear: “I still got it.” “I, uhm, will see you later,” I said, my heart rapidly beating as I used a finger to pull some of the moisture off of my lips. “I’ll be here, Clarky.” Mommy’s house wasn’t so far away from the train station that I couldn’t just walk there, but that would’ve required me leaving earlier–which would’ve meant that I’d have less time atop Ms. Potty. I opted to hail an Uber instead, having it jet me right to where I needed to be in town. Someday, I wouldn’t be able to afford such frivolities, but for a little longer it was still on Mommy’s seemingly-limitless dime. The plan was to meet with Paige first, and then we’d meet with Ava and Caleb at the restaurant not long after. The ramen place was actually pretty close to Paige’s apartment. Actually, amusingly enough, it was closer to where I once lived with Evan.  Paige answered the door to her apartment with the first knock. She might have actually opened the door while I was still knocking, and I could only imagine that she had been perched there for the last half hour, one eye to the door’s peephole. “Excuse me, sir,” she said in a faux gentlemanly accent. “Have you seen my date? You look far  too old to be he. You see, my date wears enormous diapers like a toddler and…” “Hi Paige.” “Hey Clark.” “You look very pretty.” “Too pretty?” she asked. “T-too? I don’t know if that’s a thing…” “No, I just mean, like, does it look like I’m trying too hard?” “Oh,” I said, shrugging. “That’s not the impression I’m getting.” I never really knew how to navigate these sorts of conversations–the ones where girls would seem overly self-conscious about their appearances. They acted like they expected someone to tell them they looked like shit, despite the fact that it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Just once in my life I wanted to see what would happen if I actually followed their lead. “Oh yeah, for sure, what were you thinking–dressing like that?” Well, tonight certainly wasn’t that night. But someday. Just once. If I was ever feeling braver than I had ever felt in my entire life. “So, like, you haven’t really told me much about these folks we’re going out with. What did you say their names were? Amy and Corncob?” “Corncob? Nobody’s name is Corncob.” “I know that,” she giggled. “But I wasn’t paying well enough attention when you said their names and I remember it sounding like ‘corncob.’” “Ava and Caleb,” I said. “Right, right.” She said the name aloud herself: “Ava.” I didn’t like the way she said it. There was something in her tone, combined with the look on her face, that just didn’t sit well with me. And, almost right away, I thought I knew what it was. I had said Ava’s name before to Paige. In fact–I had said it here in this very apartment.  I had accidentally called her Ava when we were here together last. Fuck. I truly hoped she didn’t remember that.  “And they’re good friends of yours?” she asked. “Well…to be honest, I don’t know Caleb very well at all. Ava and I are good friends, though. We used to work together.” “Oh yeah?” She smirked and playfully punched my arm. “Is this all some sort of elaborate scheme to make Ava jealous and have her fall in love with you?” “No!” I exclaimed. “Oh, gosh no. Not at all. Nothing like that.” Wait, I thought. Is it, though?  I didn’t think it was. I thought I had been accepting of Ava’s decisions, and I didn’t want to interfere with her relationship with Caleb. Or anyone else for that matter. And I truly had no desire to use Paige like a tool. I liked Paige. I was having a good time with Paige. I wanted to see where this could go. But. I really liked Ava.  You need to be real fucking careful, Clarky. I could have all the best intentions in the world, but what would happen if I somehow actually got the chance to be with Ava again? Would I drop Paige like a dirty diaper? “I’m just teasing you,” she said. “I don’t think you’re the type.” “Oh, well…good.” “Of course, that’s what they always say, right? Like on those true crime documentaries? All the eyewitnesses and family members talk about how the murderer never seemed like he was capable of such a thing until he did it.” “Wait…do you think I’m using you to win someone else’s heart? Or are you saying that you’re afraid I’m going to be a murderer someday?” She shrugged and laughed. “I’ll, uh, be good,” I said, hoping that covered all possible fears of hers. “Not too good,” she said playfully. “I’d still like to have a reason to spank you.” I felt my face warm quite a bit as I scrambled to look at the time on my phone. “So, uh, you think we should get going soon?” “Maybe in a few?” she shrugged. “The place is just down the street. Can I get you something to drink?” That didn’t sound like a bad idea. I was about to tell to grab me one, when she added: “Or are you afraid that you’d wet yourself if you drank too much.” Actually, that was a very legit concern of mine. “Maybe just…something small?” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was asking for. In my head, I imagined her bringing me out a half-can of beer. “A shot?” she asked. “Oh, yeah. That sounds perfect.” Something to calm my nerves just a little, while also not putting me at risk for saturating my pull-up in the first ten minutes we were at the restaurant. “I forgot to ask earlier,” she said, grabbing some shot glasses from the kitchen. “Are you, uh, wearing a diaper tonight?” “Sort of.” “Sort of? I don’t… What does that even mean?” I already felt like I said too much. I should’ve just said ‘yes,’ and left it at that. ‘Sort of’ opened the door for prolonged discussions that I wasn’t sure I wanted to have right now. Might as well just talk about it now. “I’m, uh, trying something new tonight.” “Underwear?” “Uh…not exactly.” She giggled. “Panties? Are you wearing panties tonight?” She seemed kind of excited about that idea–reminding me of my day with Megan. God, I missed her too. “N-no. I’m wearing a pull-up.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure I know what that is.” But then I saw her eyes light up, and the lightbulb go off over her head. “Oh! Wait…like the ‘I’m a big kid now,’ kind of pull-ups?” “Well, yes. I mean…not those, specifically. But…on a bigger scale.” “Oh my god!” she squealed. “That sounds so fucking cute.” “Really?” “I think…you should show me.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. God, I wanted to do that so badly. The problem, of course, was the same problem I had when I was here in her apartment the last time–the chastity cage.  I could just tell her about it… But no, I wasn’t sure that I could. Then I’d have to talk about Mommy. And talk about the old job. And then, maybe, I’d end up talking more about how close Ava and I had actually been. And then I might as well just tell Paige that I was still in love with Ava.  “M-maybe later,” I said. I didn’t like making this conversation the problem of future-me, but I couldn’t see how else to get around it right now. Not without starting tonight off on the wrong foot. “That’s no fun,” she smirked. “Show me now. Just a little peek? Please?” “I, uh…” It didn’t take much female attention to get me to fold most days, it seemed. She wanted to see my pull-up, so she was going to see it. “Okay.” Make it real quick. Just a little flash. ‘Bam’ and then my pants are back up before she can do too much investigating. The way her whole face lit up when she was excited–it was the way I wanted to see her all the time. It reminded me of how I loved to make Mommy look at me like that. Or Ava. Or Lyndie. Or even Megan. Maybe all I want to do is make girls happy? I quickly unlatched my belt, unfastened my pants. A hand on either side of my hips, I took a careful breath and gave the pants a quick push down my thighs. Just enough to show off the top half of my pull-up, but hopefully not so far down that it exposed the lump created by my chastity. Then, just as quickly as I pushed my pants down, I tugged them right back up into place again. “Aww,” she cooed. “Is that it?” “That’s it,” I said, before foolishly adding: “For now.” “Oh good,” she smiled. “So I can see more later?” “Well…” “Because they are cute. And I’d like to see a lot more of them. And, you know, you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” “A-are you wearing a diaper tonight?” I asked. She shrugged. “Maybe later, when we’re sitting across the table from your friends at the restaurant, you can slide your hand between my legs and find out for yourself.” “Oh,” I said, feeling my cheeks turning red. I tried to speak, but all I got out was some variation of “Uhm…uh…” “Come on, baby boy,” she cooed, thrusting the shot glass into my hand. “Let’s do our shot.” We clinked our tiny glasses together and kicked them back into our open mouths. I thought I tasted cheap whiskey, and my throat certainly had the familiar burn of cheap whiskey. It was bad, but it was also good.  “You’re coming back here after our date tonight, yeah?” she asked. I had been operating under the idea that I’d make my exit for the evening from the restaurant later–sparing myself any potential embarrassment from coming back to her place again. But now she was forcing me to either change my plans or to somehow say ‘no.’ Goddamn girls. “Uhm…sure. I guess I could swing back here for a bit after dinner.” Another problem for future-me. I could only hope that I figured out a way to get out of this by the time dinner was over. A way out of this that didn’t let me lose any face with her. “Good,” she said, her body sidling up close to mine. She batted her eyelashes at me, while the floral scent of her hair filled my nostrils–essentially taking control of my mind. “Because I want to get up close and real personal with that pull-up of yours later. And you might want to get real close to mine.” Don’t worry, I told myself. You’ll figure a way out of this one. But I didn’t believe myself. Eighty-One “I remember the door opening,” Paige said, “and you were just standing there in a diaper. Well…I didn’t know it was a diaper at first. I thought you were just wearing underpants. And, you know, it wouldn’t have been the first time someone accepted a pizza in their underpants.” We were walking towards the ramen place, and I had asked Paige what went through her head the first time she saw my diaper–the first time she saw me. “Really?” I asked. “Like…how often does that happen?” “Often enough,” she grimaced. “And it’s never the people you want to see in their underpants. Even when it’s someone who looks cute, right? And if they were wearing clothes, you might think, ‘Oh, I bet they’d look good in just their underpants.’ There’s something that happens to you when you strip down to surprise someone who isn’t expecting it. Like, when I see someone without most of their clothes on, I can’t see their cute qualities anymore, y’know? All I see are all their creepy intentions. Or…lazy intentions? Sometimes I can’t tell if someone is creepy or lazy in a situation like that.” “So when you saw me,” I asked, “did you think I was creepy or lazy?” “Well it took a moment or two to register what I was actually looking at. Even after I realized it was a diaper, it still took a little bit for my brain to even begin processing that. Honestly, I think you were kind of an exception anyway. You could’ve been wearing almost anything–a life preserver, a viking helmet, panties–and I probably would’ve noticed the same thing.” “Hmm?” “Your eyes,” she said. “I remember looking right into your eyes, and I felt like I could understand everything about you in a second.” “Uh…wow.” “I mean, I didn’t actually know a damn thing about you,” she laughed and shrugged. “But I thought I did. I thought I knew enough. Like, I knew you weren’t trying to be a creep. I knew you had a complicated relationship with your diapers–you didn’t just love them or hate them.” “Sounds like lucky guesses to me,” I said, my cheeks warming a little. I wasn’t sure if I completely believed her or not–any of this would be easy to claim in hindsight.  “I saw something else too,” she said. “Yeah?” “I saw you were completely humiliated.” “Well…that was probably the most obvious thing you could’ve noticed,” I shrugged. “I mean, I saw you were completely humiliated–and you fucking loved it.” I bit my bottom lip and let a long breath out from my nose as I felt my cheeks getting more red.  “And since then, do you feel like you’ve gotten any better at reading me?” I asked. “Maybe,” she smirked. Up ahead, I could see the lit sign for the ramen place, and in front of the door were two people. That would be Ava and Caleb, I was sure of it. I hadn’t even seen her face yet and I felt some of the strength in my legs fading. Shit. It was going to be a long night. “I hope we didn’t keep you waiting too long,” I said as we got closer. A silly thing to say, since I knew we were on time–but it felt like the sort of inane adult chatter you were supposed to use. Was I just trying to sound more adult? “We just got here,” Ava smiled. “Hello, Clark.” Ava and I hugged each other–just a brief embrace, but one that I wished would have lasted a bit longer. She smelled different. Not something I was entirely fond of admitting that I checked for, but the Ava I knew–even if it had been many months since I last encountered her–had a specific scent. Whenever I thought of her, I could almost find traces of the scent in my nostrils. Baby powder, and the faint hint of a floral perfume. I theorized that the perfume wasn’t actually hers–it was Ms. Beaufort’s, and it just transferred to Ava while she breastfed her.  Now, she just smelled faintly of citrus. Generically clean, I supposed. Things I probably shouldn’t be thinking about right now. “Ava, this is Paige. Paige, this is my good friend Ava.” I expected a polite handshake, but the two women quickly embraced instead. There was a hint or recognition on Ava’s face. I could tell that she felt like she had seen Paige before, but she just wasn’t where from. “Clark,” Caleb said, stepping towards me with his hand outstretched. “It’s good to see you again.” “Likewise, man,” I said. Man? I never said ‘man.’ I shook his hand.  Caleb had a mustache now, and I was pretty sure he didn’t have one before. It didn’t look bad, per se. But, painted by my jealousy for him, it seemed…gauche? Pretentious? Or, maybe it was actually ugly. I made a mental note to inquire with Paige about that later. At her place? Shit, I remembered that I still needed to figure out that situation too. “This is my boyfriend Caleb,” Ava said to Paige. “Hi, Caleb,” Paige said, shaking his head as well. “I’m Paige.” “A pleasure to meet you.” “Well?” asked Ava. “What do you say we get in there and tear into some bowls of noodles, huh?” I grimaced a little as I eased myself into our booth, expecting my pants to emit the usual crisp crinkle of my thick diaper as I sat down. But no–the training pants didn’t make any sound at all. They didn’t bunch up between my legs. It almost felt like…underwear. I’m a big kid now… “So you two used to work together?” Paige asked as we settled in, her finger bouncing back and forth between Ava and myself. “It’s true,” I said. “And what a place that was.” Ava laughed, a little extra pink in her cheeks.  “What sort of work was it?” Paige asked. “Executive assistants,” I said. “We were both assistants for some of the big important people at this company.” “Sounds exhausting,” Paige said, shaking her head. “Is it like those shows on TV? Like Succession, or whatever, where the execs just treat their assistants like shit all the time?” “I mean…we weren’t working for a company on the scale of the one in Succession,” Ava shrugged. “But I thought our experience was pretty good.” She shot me a tiny, knowing, smile. It felt good, like a little secret. Neither Caleb or Paige had any idea of the sights we’ve seen, and the surreal experiences we had–and sometimes shared–while at work. “Yeah,” I nodded. “I learned a lot.” “And so what are you up to these days?” Caleb asked me. I felt my cheeks warm a little. Ava looked like she was about to jump in to defend me, but I couldn’t let her go to bat for me. “My boss from that company actually left and started a new company,” I said. “So I’m working for her there, now.” It felt good to talk about my employment. See? I’m an adult. Just like you. “And what about you?” Caleb asked, his question directed to Paige. “Sorry to be so nosey, I’m just a curious kind of guy.” Paige laughed, “Oh, you don’t have to apologize for being curious. I was probably going to ask you the same thing. Well, it’s not the most glamorous job in the world, but I, uh, deliver pizzas.” There it was–the light bulb going off over Ava’s head. She knew exactly who this was. She looked at me and smiled, but kept her mouth shut. Caleb, however, couldn’t help himself. “Wait…is this the fabled Pizza Girl?” I wondered how it was that Caleb knew of Pizza Girl. Sure, Ava could’ve told him–but that story felt like it would require admitting a lot of other details too. It was possible, I supposed, that Ava had told him about diapers and her baby-days, but my gut told me that conversation hadn’t happened yet. There was another possibility too, though. Caleb had been with us at the pizza place back when I first ran into Paige again. Evan told everyone he saw Pizza Girl, and it was something we all had laughed about–with the exception of Caleb. “That is me,” Paige said, confidently nodding. “Fabled, though? I didn’t know my legend was making its way across the land.” Ava laughed. “I think we’ve just talked, from time to time, about how you were the one who used to deliver pizza to Clark’s apartment when we all used to hang out there.” “Oh,” Paige smirked. “So you were there when I came by with pizza?” Translation: “So, you’re in on this whole diaper thing too, huh?” “Indeed,” Ava said, smirking right back. My heart pounded in my chest. It wasn’t that I thought I was in danger–I didn’t think that either Ava or Paige would put me on blast and start talking about diapers–but I couldn’t begin to imagine what was going through either of the girls’ heads. Meanwhile, Caleb, and his mustache, looked pretty unaware of the secret conversation happening just below the surface. The conversation pivoted away from who knew who or how they knew them. We were all finding our bearings, trying to contribute something to each conversation. Here, I had been nervous that I was going to be stilted and awkward compared to everyone else, while everyone else communicated effortlessly–though I didn’t find that to be the case. Even with my still-thawing social skills, coming off months of diapered hibernation, I felt as much as part of the group as anyone else likely did. Here’s what I observed: We were all a little stilted and awkward. Maybe that’s just how we were at this age. Nobody had anything figured out, and everyone was nervous that they’d be the one to slow down the conversation.  Maybe my time in the nursery hadn’t set me as far back as I thought it had. The conversation was all over the place. Ava was talking about her recent journeys into mediation and yoga. Caleb talked about how he had been refurbishing a bicycle of his, with the hopes of taking it out for a multi-state bike trip next summer. Paige shared a story or two about the weirdos she encountered while delivering food–these types of stories were guaranteed crowd-pleasers, it seemed. I nervously waited for each story to start with “And then, this one time, a guy answered the door wearing just a diaper,” but, to my relief, it never happened. Food was delivered to the table, and it was good. It’s hard to keep all your dignity about you when you’re loudly slurping on noodles, but the good news was that we were all doing it. At one point, mid to late meal, I rested my right hand on my lap beneath the table. I was just thinking about how I had managed to go this long without having any sort of accident in my pull-up when I felt a hand on top of mine. I didn’t have to look to know who it belonged to–Paige’s warm hand gently squeezed mine. She gripped my hand in hers, and she lifted it from my thigh, slowly carrying it over to her lap. I offered no resistance. “...and it kinda sucks, you know?” Caleb was talking to the group–something about a design application he uses for work. “It’s a good program–but now I have to pay a monthly fee for it? That doesn’t really seem fair to me. I’d rather just pay one cost and be done with it. Like…” I absolutely was not paying attention to that. Maybe Ava was. Paige seemed interested, but despite the engaged look on her face, she was also planting my hand in her own lap beneath the table. She carefully pressed my hand between her legs.  I could almost hear her: “Feel right here, Clark. Tell me what you feel.” It felt…soft. Squishy. Warm. I knew exactly what it was I was feeling. She had worn a diaper tonight, and she had wet it too–recently, at that. No, wait. I could feel the gentle vibrations in the dense padding–she was still wetting herself. I was feeling her wet her diaper through her pants beneath the table and nobody else had any clue. It was kind of exciting to not be the diaper-wetter for once. There I was, in a completely dry pull-up, feeling someone else’s diaper getting wet.  Okay. Fine. My plan for later? My plan for what I’d do when if–and when–Paige invited me back to her place? I was going to tell her everything. I was going to tell her about the chastity and that I lived with someone who I called ‘Mommy.’ I was going to tell her the whole history of my job, and how I, one day, almost literally stumbled into the craziest job I’ve ever had in my entire life. It feels good to decide that. It doesn’t completely alleviate the stress and anxiety I feel about the situation–I still need to actually have that conversation with Paige, and she needs to accept it all. But that part isn’t on me. It’s up to her.  “That’s crazy,” Paige said, responding to whatever Caleb had just been talking about. “You hate to see that, you know? The very people who supported that platform all these years are now the ones who are going to suffer the most when these faceless corporations make stupid decisions in the name of profits.” “Yes,” Caleb said, slapping the table with his hand. “That’s exactly right.” Absolutely amazing. Below the table, my fingers were squeezing and prodding her plump diaper, and yet she was able to act like no such thing was happening. She was actually engaged in the conversation–far more than I was. “Sorry,” Ava said to me. “You’d think he’d get all his design software woes out of his system at work–since he talks about it five days a week there too–but…here we are.” I laughed and shrugged. “The guy’s passionate about it. I get it.” “I should probably take a breather,” Caleb laughed, placing his napkin on the table. “I’ll be back in a few. Gonna hit the head and then step outside for a min.” “Hurry back,” Ava smiled. He smiled, nodded, and walked in the direction of the bathroom. “So,” Ava said. It felt like she was addressing Paige and I’s side of the table, but she was looking directly at me. “Having fun?” “It’s good to see you,” I said. That wasn’t really an answer to her question, though, and I felt myself blush a little. “So, you were, uhm, a regular at Clark’s old apartment when I delivered pizza?” Paige asked. “Oh yeah,” Ava said, as if having forgotten that this was a topic she wanted to bring up again too. “I mean, I don’t think I was there as often, but…I know I was there once when…” She stopped herself, thought about it for a moment and started over: “Wow, what a strange little world we live in. Here you are, eating dinner with us now.” Paige smiled. “So…you know all about this one’s, uhm…” I sighed. “She knows about my diapers, yeah.” And she knows far more about them than you think you do. Ava nervously glanced around for Caleb. “I, uh, haven’t really told him anything about that yet. I will, eventually. I just…that’s going to be a wild conversation.” “I’m not sure I follow,” Paige said. “Why would Caleb care about whether or not Clark wears diapers?” Ava and I were both blushing now. “Oh, uhm, no,” Ava said, her voice still as polite as ever. “I mean, I’m not sure when to tell him about how I wore diapers.” “Oh,” Paige said, sitting back in the booth a little, her cheeks looking a little rosy too. “Sorry. I…didn’t know that you also…” Ava glanced at me and laughed. “I guess I’m glad that Clark’s a gentleman like that. I would’ve assumed he’d have told you already.” “Well, it’s a pleasant surprise to learn you’re a big baby too,” Paige said. “Was…” Ava said. “Well…I’m sure I’ll wear them again someday.” Paige laughed and shrugged. “Poor Caleb. Is he the only one at this table who hasn’t been wearing diapers lately?” Ava’s eyes grew large. “Oh. You wear them too?” “Uh huh.” Ava smiled, her eyes again being directed towards me. “Good for you, Clarky. That sounds fun.” We all shared a laugh that time. I had no doubt that both Ava and Paige had plenty more questions–both for each other and for me–but it was at about that time that Caleb came strolling back to the table. Ava, to her credit, immediately changed gears. “Did you go outside and make some big puffy clouds?” “Aye,” Caleb nodded. “When we first met,” Ava said to Paige and I, “he told me he was using vaping to wean himself off of smoking. But now I feel like I see him vaping way more than I had ever seen him smoke before.” “It’s better for you than smoking,” he said. “I’m not sure that’s true,” I said. It was a risky claim to refute–maybe some big scientific studies had been published in the last few months, while I was just crawling around in my diapers, that actually confirmed vaping was better for you. But I doubted that. “It’s definitely not true,” Ava pouted. “Look, both of you have my permission to hassle this guy about it if you ever see him vaping.” “You think she’s kidding,” Caleb shrugged. “But she’s already got my entire family giving me all kinds of shit for it.” “Well,” Ava shrugged, “wouldn’t it be something if this little campaign of mine actually got you to quit?” I couldn’t get over just how mature Ava sounded. Every once in a while it’d hit me. This was not the Ava I knew a few months ago. This was not the girl who suckled from Neve Beaufort’s tits with me while we waited for the hubbub surrounding Thomas Pritchard to calm down. This wasn’t the girl who laid with me in the park late one night. This wasn’t the girl who had been on her back in Lyndie’s office–almost as many times as I was–getting her stinky diaper changed.  But that wasn’t a bad thing. I was happy for her. Adulthood looked good on her. I supposed that I just wished I had been there to see it happen. Or that I had been growing up with her. Instead, she was still changing my diapers–or she had been when she was babysitting me just a few short weeks ago.  I glanced over to Paige, and she was looking back at me. We both smiled.  Paige was good. Paige was incredible. She was pretty and she was so fun. She had this naughty energy about her that I felt like I had only just scratched the surface of. Case in point, my hand was still trapped in her lap–her hand still pressing my fingers into her swampy diaper. I sometimes worried that Paige was just a placeholder for Ava. Hell, that could’ve been true yet and I just hadn’t been able to admit it to myself yet. But I really liked Paige, and was hoping that we were headed in a good direction with each other. It would probably depend on our conversation after this, I thought. When I put it all out there, we’d see where we actually were then.  If I spilled my guts to her–if I told her about Mommy, my life as a big baby, and the metal cage around my cock–and she accepted it all? I’d probably cling to her for dear life, never letting her leave my side again. And then… Then I’d look back at Ava. And my heart would swoon. The heart wants what the heart wants. Even if–especially if–my heart couldn’t have it. “Well, I don’t know about the rest of you,” Caleb said, scratching his belly with big exaggerated movements, “but I’m beat. There’s something about a big ol’ bowl of hot noodles that makes me want to curl up on the couch and sleep.” “So…should I drive?” Ava asked with a smirk. “No, no. I think I can get us home without falling asleep…” The implication, of course, was that Ava and Caleb were going to the same place after this. Were they going to his place? Or back to Ava’s? He supposed he could reach out to Lynide tomorrow and ask. Stop that. It’s not your business. “It was so nice to meet you,” Ava said to Paige when we were all standing outside on the sidewalk. “I’m glad we did this. I hope we can do it again.” “Same,” Paige said, hugging Ava. “It sounds silly, but I don’t have a ton of friends in the area, so it was nice to get out and just socialize a bit.” “Well, we’re friends now,” Ava smiled. “Whenever you want to do this again, I’m down.” “Always good to see, man,” Caleb said to me. We gave each other one of those awkward hug/handshake things where we slap each other on the back for some reason. I never cared for them, as they never felt genuine. I wondered if he felt the same way, or if he actually thought they were a good way to greet or dismiss someone.  Goodbyes were said, and Paige and I took off in one direction while Ava and Caleb were off in the other. Now then. It was getting closer and closer to when I’d tell Paige everything there was to know. I wondered, for most of a block, if this was the last time we’d be happy in each other's presence, as the things I’d later reveal would somehow put an end to our budding relationship. “So, did you want to come over to my place?” she asked. I nodded. “If you’ll have me.” She smiled. “I’d love it if you did.” We walked a little further without saying another word. It didn’t feel awkward or anything, it was actually kind of nice to just stroll side by side with each other and not feel like we had to fill every second with chatter. “Hey,” she finally said. “Remember earlier, when we were walking to the restaurant, and I talked about how I could look into your eyes and feel like I knew everything about you in just a moment?” “Yeah,” I nodded. “I remember that.” “I looked into your eyes again tonight, while we were at dinner, and I had that same exact feeling again.” “Oh yeah? What did you learn about me?” She laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know if you’re going to like it.” How could I not like it,” I asked. “I…I want you to know everything about me.” “Okay, but…what if it’s something that you don’t even know about yourself?” “I can handle it,” I said. “Well…” She took a deep breath and shrugged. “I think you’re in love with Ava. Like…you’re big time in love with her.” I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, and that sinking persisted for the next block or so. With every step, I felt like the gravity in my guts was multiplying.  I had managed to keep my pull-up clean all night, but suddenly I felt like I was just a few steps from both pissing and messing myself like a little baby.

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Happy May the Fourth!

that's makes it pretty incomplete 😅