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Missouri
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By Gnomophobe · Posted
Leaving my feedback here publicly, too. Hey, I read through all of the parts at first time. But it was difficult due to the feeling of betrayal while I am also not used to have it split up like this instead of one story without interruption by discussions in between. The privacy part was for me personally a big no no, no matter what happened after. So I took my time after it, because it shouldn't affect the opinion on the rest of the chapters. It was really difficult to continue with part 2 with that kind of cliffhanger. I get the idea you had and it is one approach, but just maybe not for everyone. I will try to split my feedback based on Chapters. Chapter 2: What I really like is that you bring in the thoughts and feelings and trying to comfort. Each other in the story as well as the reader. Who managed it here will find a good emotional resting place. For a difficult situation you provide a good solution, Grace tries to make the best of the situation. I wished a bit more for ... guilt? of doing something so wrong at this point, but I know you pick it up later at least for a short moment. “If anything, I'm a little hurt that you kept it from me for this long. We've been dating for eight months now!” pushes the fault to him. Something woman sadly like to do a lot, but again, hard for the reader when you are trying to stabilize. Realistic? Yes! Hard to read? also yes if you try to emotionally attach to the situation. Chapter 3: I really like the explaining part. You did this amazing. It is one of the biggest questions, what attracts people to this. As you know I can't really see this for males as comfortable, so for me it was even more difficult, but I could totally follow the thought process here. Very well done! Chapter 4: the same, explaining the DL stuff very well. “Bare with me. Imagine if all of the bad stuff in your childhood happened after you were six-years-old. *Now* imagine if you could, briefly, return to the mind-state of your five-year-old self; before you experienced any of the trauma and anxiety that you deal with on a daily basis now. Wouldn't that hold a certain appeal?” Her eyes went wide as she started to grasp what I was saying “Fuck, I'd pay good money for that. You're telling me there are people out there who can actually do that!?” This part was simply amazing. Without the story around it, I couldn't belive it. But it does fit Grace and the Situation. You build a lot of expectation and fantasies in the readers head right here. "I didn't try to argue with her. I simply closed my eyes and nodded, basking in the glow of her love. She already made me feel like the luckiest man alive most days, but here, in this moment, I was dead-certain I had to be. " Again, wonderfully written. Gets the reader attached to the situation and people. Chapter 5: Very childish play, but exactly what the situation needs. The get comfortable with the situation, Grace gets the dominant part and he can only let it happen. She has an idea of the situation and doesn't fear using and abusing it in a way the situation even requires it. She can take the "mommy" part of diapering him and telling him that he shall keep them on and on display. Chapter 6: This is the best part I believe. Why? because it shows that she also has "crazy" desires and is open minded to sexual stuff that he kinda has no clue about what to think off. She presents it around him and the situation is well written and well thought. Nothing to hide anymore, feel comfortable around each other. Sexuality is part of this relationship. "She smiled, reaching over to pat my crinkly padding, sending tingles up my spine. “For both of us.”" Those sentences are important to good writing. Playing with the situation, increase the depth of feelings. Push the reader into comfort zone like 'take a seat and watch what comes now'. Chapter 7: It is good that have this part to keep the continuation for a longer story. The whole pizza part and such extends the story with moments to breath as reader. For that, I must admit I find the story a bit short and ending abruptly. Again well written, but the break with afterwards climax are a bit ... rushed? I know you wrote it over several weeks and I can see that, but again it is my first story since ever like this and I see it as closed story so I try to write based on that. Please don't take it personal! Chapter 8: So there I was: Belly full of pizza, a wet diaper between my legs, and the most beautiful girl in the universe sitting next to me on the couch. Am I a lucky bastard or what? “I love you.” I told her. “I love you too.” she responded without hesitation. Simply perfect. Tell the situation the way it is. Make the emotions going again. It feels like two partners in love and trust. No to nice words, just how you would actually say it. "She responded by wrapping her arms around me and pulling me tight against her. “It'll take more than a few diapers to get rid of me. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not.” I leaned into the warmth of her embrace. “I had always hoped you'd say that…” I didn't know until that moment, but I truly did mean that. I never realized just how much I had needed to hear that. " That is also VERY well done. Because I think you hit right in the feeling of many readers here! I can only image, but if I would be part of this, I guess the acceptance of the partner also would be the highest good. "I almost considered proposing to her right there and then, but thought better of it. Now was not the time. Not while I was still practically high on her acceptance. But it was definitely something I needed to put some real thought into later. I loved this woman with all my heart and she loved me–all of me–with all her soul. " Funny thought, well written, better it don't not happen right there, I guess But yea, a lot better than the first 1-2 parts in my opinion. You really got the emotions. Chapter 6 is a bit better still, because it has the second person included with their thoughts and desires, but Chapter 8 is also amazing. Chapter 9: Understanding what you tried to achieve, but hell, I bet a lot of readers would have wished that she wears a diaper right there It is interesting which path you took. It seems very honest how he describes it and what he thinks about it. Hard to follow in the moment of first reading it, but when re-reading it, I really understood it now. Is it for the better to not use the chance? Nobody can tell. I would have expected it from her in this moment that she desires to try it for him and he kinda refuses. She seems a bit sad and I could totally see this in reality too. I don't know if there is a better way in the story and in reality... but it is something I kept noticing myself in my stories and also in reality. Wasted moments you maybe never get back. Also amazing lines like: “So… How about this,” Grace said. “Let's put a pin in having me try diapers tonight, okay babe?” “I can think of something I'd rather have in my pants.” Chapter 10: A well written sex scene for a very special situation. The final smile with the diaper on the floor situation gets the situation back to reality, which is very well done once again. Not ending on the climax, but with a smile. BUT, you quickly end the story and a lot of open questions and desires are left open completly. I think it deserves a follow up/continuation regarding a lot of those points. I hope it is not to much wall of text, I tried to deliver precise feedback. The story really is nice and I liked a lot of it very much. Especially the second time leaving out the first chapter and trying to not think much about the betrayal. She did not show much of guilt, which I kinda hate in reality, but again fitting the style of grace. I know she showed some sense of guilt, but not the way you would expect or hope for someone being inside your private things... And yes, it worked out for both of them. But again, does she wear as well? Does she enjoy it? Will he always or little or will aaron find a Daddy like side seeing her inside a diaper and taking care of her? You have a LOT of potential open here. -
Honestly, the ups and downs are useful because they're helping me with what I do snd do not want personally to hear how it goes for someone with the surgery. -
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@Little Sherri: I was going to comment that your reference to the color red was wrong. I've see the yellow screen in that area in past scans. Since my main airport is a major (US) one (and supports international travel) and I don't have TSA pre-check, so except for one time early on when they were randomly giving away a "pre-check" type screening (printed on your boarding pass), I've basically been through the nude-o-scanner every trip since they have been in place at the airport. And I typically get the type of screening you had this time. And yes, they will add the explosive detection with the wipe down. Add in that my bottle of baby powder will get pulled for screening, I'm holding up both the carry on screening till after they get me patted down and then can proceed with that secondary (explosive) screening. I've only had one time (early on) where they "invited" (i.e. required) me to the private secondary screening room.... OK, I'm wearing cloth and not disposable, and wear thick enough that I am comfortable if I were to take a long enough nap on the airplane.... I don't like it, but I figure the time i take up is their problem not mine....
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