Hi and welcome to DD. Nice to meet you, glad to have you join us. Come in, grab a high chair, make yourself at home. Lots of good likeminded people here. Relax, have fun, and enjoy!
<Pipeline Failure! -> Human Rewrite: Failure! Too Inexperienced --> Human Deduction: Story is Wayyy too fast-paced! It's at breakneck speed! Be a small snail! --> Character development: Redundant! Generic! Puppets! Bland!>
<Suggestion: Slow Burn Forge! : Construct the Bones! --> Build the Flesh! --> Infuse the Human Soul!>
New Order! This story will used as Outline for the Human Rewrite!
To quote from the opening post in this thread: "Stories MAY contain underage characters so long as they are not included in sexual situations or descriptions."