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Daniel is a young man kept in permanent babyhood. When a chance discovery reveals the truth of the world and his position in it he is determined to "grow up". The question is whether his adopted mother and sister are ready to let him... --- Writing is my passion and my only source of income. If you enjoy my stories you may be interested to learn that you can see every update I post one week before the rest of the world with a $5 pledge on Patreon. For $10 you can see everything early AND 50 full length stories that can only be found on my SubscribeStar and Ream pages! The money I get goes to paying bills and putting food on the table so I appreciate all of my patrons and would appreciate anyone who might be interested in supporting me to check out my Patreon ❤️ https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy --- Training Daniel By Elfy Daniel rolled over and let out a little grunt as he stretched his legs. He could feel the diaper between his legs pushing his thighs apart, the padding was swollen from another night in his ever-present crib. Beneath him, underneath the soft cotton, a plastic sheet crackled as he moved. It was the usual noises of his nursery in the morning. “Wakey wakey, sleepyhead.” That was another familiar sound in Daniel’s nursery. It was his Mommy, Sarah. She was usually the one to wake him up in the morning which was fine with Daniel, it was preferable to his mean sister, Amber. They weren’t his real Mommy and sister, of course. Daniel’s real parents had been killed when he had been very young and it was Sarah, a friend of his biological mother who had taken him in. It had all happened when he was very little so he didn’t have any memories of his parents and his Mommy was never keen on discussing his family. Daniel slowly opened his eyes. The curtains had been opened and he was left blinking in the early morning sunlight as he adjusted to the world. The familiar white bars of his crib towered over him on all sides, above him a mobile which featured various farmyard animals wearing capes like superheroes. Beyond Daniel’s crib was his nursery. Something that hadn’t changed in his twenty years of life. It was primarily baby blue and white. His crib was on the opposite side of the room to the door, behind his head the long changing table stretched out underneath the window. On the opposite side of the room next to the door was his toys. A big chest filled with all the toys that he had accumulated, above that was the shelves filled with books for bed time. By the foot of the crib was the chest of drawers and closet filled with his clothes. “Did you have a good night?” Sarah asked as she stood on the release and lowered the side of the crib. Daniel nodded his head as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. He felt his mother leaning into the crib and instinctively spread his legs for the morning diaper check. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that he was wet. He wet in his sleep every night, it was no big deal. There was something different about today though. Normally Daniel’s diaper checks involved a quick poke and a prod but today his mom’s hand lingered. As he finished rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he looked down at his crotch. His mom’s large hand was massaging the front of the diaper, the wet padding rubbing against his skin. “Mommy?” Daniel asked in a little voice. “That’s right, baby.” Sarah smiled warmly as her hand continued to dance against the padding, “It’s your milking day.” Daniel felt his heart leap a little. He had never been taught things like the days of the week, he never really knew what the date was or even what month fell in what season, he had only really learnt a little about the time of day from watching clocks. No one had taught him things like that, things men didn’t need to know. So Daniel never really knew when his scheduled milking days were, he had to just wait until they happened. The rubbing continued until Daniel let out a little moan and then it stopped abruptly. He sighed, it was always the way. His Mommy and sister liked teasing him at the best of times but it went into overdrive when it was time for his milking. It was as frustrating as it was exciting. They had started around the time he was eighteen and continued seemingly at random ever since. It was one reason he was kind of glad he didn’t live with his actual family because it would make all this a lot weirder! A lot of that frustration was down to the “toy” that was kept almost permanently locked on to Daniel’s private parts. A rubber chastity device wrapped around his penis like a cocoon. It was flexible enough but it prevented him from getting too excited, it meant that whenever he was teased in that area he could only feel a small amount of the sensation. The clear rubber was designed to only encase his dick though, the balls underneath were left uncovered and it was that area that the two women always seemed to focus on when teasing him. By the time Sarah had finished rubbing the front of the wet diaper Daniel was feeling a lot of frustration. His poor little penis strained against its rubber prison without being able to break out. The side of the crib came rattling down and Daniel held his arms out to be picked up by his Mommy. Daniel was clutched tightly to Sarah’s chest as he was taken across to his changing table. It was a little awkward with Sarah’s large chest meaning Daniel couldn’t lay flat against his Mommy. He wrapped his legs around her middle and his arms around her neck. With a grunt of effort Sarah lifted Daniel and sat him on the edge of table. He scooted back and laid down for his inevitable diaper change. He looked out of the window as the tapes were pulled away from the shiny front landing panel. The diaper slackened in stages until the last tape came free and the padding slid down a little. Sarah then opened the diaper up to the cool air of the nursery. Daniel had gone through more diaper changes than he could count. Not that he could count particularly highly, he always started having trouble when it got to double digits and he ran out of fingers to use. Usually the next stage would be the baby wipes but today was milking day and that meant there was a slight change of plans. With a gasp Daniel felt his Mommy gently rubbing the skin of his ball sack. He was always kept completely shaved down there for hygiene reasons and his skin was baby smooth. He closed his eyes as felt his Mommy’s fingers, they were so delicate at times it was hard to feel that they were there at all but the electric excitement was always present. “Do you like that?” Sarah asked happily. Daniel nodded his head. It was embarrassing but he couldn’t deny how it made him feel. Perhaps it was because his milking days often seemed so distant to one another but every time someone touched him between his legs it felt incredible. It was no wonder men were kept in diapers, they had to keep this whole area locked away in case someone brushed past them by accident. For several minutes Daniel was left writhing on his changing table as he was fondled by his Mommy. He wondered if other men had such strict milking days like he did, maybe he was one of the lucky ones and some people didn’t get milkings at all. That would be a disaster, it was one of the things Daniel looked forwards to most. “We better get you all padded up before we have an accident on our hands.” Sarah said when she finally pulled her hand away from Daniel’s crotch. Daniel sighed. He almost felt like he could feel his balls throbbing after all the attention, he ached for more but he knew from past experience that he could only expect further teasing until the prison around his penis came off. A fresh diaper was pulled off the small shelf below the padded top. Daniel heard it crinkling as it opened and as his legs were lifted up like they weighed nothing he turned to look out the window. There were a lot of downsides to men being inherently weaker than women but they certainly made diaper changes easier. When Daniel’s hips were lowered it was on to the open padding. The familiar feeling of a thick diaper wrapped up between his legs and over his caged genitals. Sarah flattened out the plastic over Daniel’s tummy and then taped it closed. The routine continued as Daniel lifted his arms again, he was picked up and sat on the edge of the table. With one hand on his chest to stop him from falling Sarah turned to some clothes that she had prepared from the previous night that were hanging over the back of the rocking chair in the corner. “A special outfit for a special day.” Sarah said. Daniel didn’t recognise the clothing. It must’ve been new. Whilst a lot of clothing was store bought a lot of his clothing was also made by his Mommy at home, she’d grown quite good at it but this was clearly one of her creations. Firstly a t-shirt was pulled over Daniel’s head. It was plain white and not particularly notable but the shortalls that came with them were very much created at home. They had once been plain but Sarah had been doing some embroidery. Now the large chest piece, rather than being blank was stitched with the words “Baby’s Milking Day!” “Isn’t it wonderful?” Sarah said effusively as she slipped Daniel’s legs into the correct holes and put him in the infantile clothing. “Yes Mommy.” Daniel said with a smile, “Thank you.” Daniel saw his Mommy leaning down to him and he instinctively lifted his arms. He was picked up under the arms and sat on his Mommy’s hip. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he was carried downstairs, his legs dangled uselessly as the pair of them descended the steps. With everything in the house designed for the much taller females Daniel had always seen being carried around as a lucky privilege. Trying to climb up or down these stairs would be like trying to scale a mountain. The living room was already occupied when Daniel was carried in. Amber was sat on the couch. She was a couple of years older than Daniel but the differences between them made it seem much larger. She was seven feet tall and had inherited her mother’s large breasts. She was pretty but mean, especially towards Daniel, and seemed to take great pleasure in embarrassing him whenever she got the chance. She always seemed to go even harder on milking days. “You play in your pen alright?” Sarah said as she placed Daniel into the fenced area. She walked over and turned on the television. Bright cartoons starting dancing across the screen, “I’m going to get breakfast ready.” “Yes Mommy.” Daniel replied. As Daniel settled into place in the pen he reflected on life and the society that he really didn’t see a lot of. He was small, even for a male, at five-feet tall he was towered over by his Mommy and “sister.” Women were always taller than men but in this family it seemed to run to extremes, the women were taller than average and the men were shorter. Amber was seven-feet tall and Daniel’s Mommy was eight-feet. The difference in height was only made starker because Daniel was always on the floor. He was too weak to walk and he was kept that way on purpose. He very occasionally saw men walking on television but his Mommy assured him that was the exception rather than the norm. Most men were kept weak and were treated like babies. They also seemed to be kept at home a lot, Daniel had rarely been allowed to explore beyond the backyard. Whilst Amber went to school throughout her childhood Daniel was kept at home, beyond the absolute basics like speech Daniel was kept ignorant. Daniel didn’t like the way things were if he was honest. He always felt so jealous of Amber whenever she went out with friends or to work. His days consisted of sitting around in his diapers, playing and watching cartoons. A monotonous life that was occasionally broken up by special events such as… “Milking day, huh?” Amber said with a sneer, “Lucky boy.” Daniel blushed a little and looked down at the floor. He always felt embarrassed when people brought up his “milkings” even if he looked forward to them a lot. He especially didn’t like when Amber brought it up. Amber stood up and walked around to the playpen’s gate. She helped herself inside and Daniel tried his best to ignore her presence. She walked around until she stood in front of him and put her hands on her hips. Daniel looked at some of his toys on the floor and tried not to let his sister know how he was so intimidated. It didn’t work. Just as Daniel was starting to wonder what was going to happen he felt Amber’s foot against the front of his shortalls. The foot rested on the bulging front of his diaper and he immediately winced, it didn’t hurt because Amber wasn’t putting any pressure behind it but that didn’t stop the clear threat. “It’s a good thing we keep this locked up.” Amber stated as she prodded down with her foot a couple of times, “I bet it would be going off everywhere if we didn’t.” Daniel didn’t think that was fair but all he could do was scoot backwards on his padded rear to get away from the foot. He turned away from his sister with red cheeks and looked over to a simple jigsaw puzzle. He pulled it over, anything to get away from Amber’s mocking. He couldn’t go far, of course, the bars of the playpen made sure of that. “I think I’ll go out for a walk today.” Amber said airily. She made it sound like an idle thought but Daniel knew it was aimed at him, “Maybe meet some friends and go see a movie. Ooh, I hear Damage Limitation are in town, maybe I could score some tickets…” Daniel ducked his head. One of Amber’s favourite games was taunting him by talking about what she could do and what he could not. All he could do was pout and hope his sister got bored soon. When Amber suddenly stepped up to him and reached over his shoulder he was surprised, he nearly fell over as her hand went down to his diaper and squeezed the front. “Or maybe I should stay in after all.” Amber said with a small giggle, “It is your special day after all. Who knows when the next one will be?” Daniel tried to suppress a small moan as he felt Amber’s hand rub against him. The rubber toy encasing his sensitive parts did a good job of stopping most of the sensations getting through but he could still feel the pressure. His balls in particular enjoyed rubbing against the soft and smooth padding of the inner diaper. “Ugh…” A small moan escaped Daniel’s mouth. His little man was trying to stand at attention but the toy made it difficult. It wasn’t painful but it was uncomfortable. “Breakfast is ready.” Sarah called out from the kitchen. Amber withdrew her hand. She laughed as Daniel reached out his hands to be picked up, it would be a lot better than having to crawl all the way out to the dining table. He was disappointed as Amber shook her head and walked away. Daniel scowled after her. He had no option but to get on his hands and knees and scurry out towards the kitchen. Everything was so much bigger than Daniel already but when he crawled around like this it was more pronounced than ever before. He went down the long hallway to the kitchen where Amber was already sat at the table, she was leaning back in her chair and smirking as Daniel came in. He crawled around to his highchair and waited on the floor, there was no way he could climb up into it without help. “Upsy daisy.” Sarah said as she lifted Daniel up. --- If you've enjoyed this and want to find out what happens next you can do so RIGHT NOW on the links below! https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/luzh7bq3yj/chapter/2b197e1d-bf4e-46d5-a3c2-1e93f4a6a0fa https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1268609

Introduction What would happen if, no matter how old you are, your parents found your stash? Well, on an already miserable day, that’s exactly what happened to Tom. How will both he and his dad handle it? Chapter 1 - Rejection ‘Well, thank you for coming in today, myself and the panel will discuss the interview and the recruiter will get back to you in due course’. Tom could see in the eyes of the interviewer it was going to be another rejection. He couldn’t understand it, just over a year ago he’d graduated with a 2:1 in Architecture. He thought he’d walk into a job, but he’d applied to every company he could find, and had 15 interviews never getting further than the second round. He couldn’t understand it, what was he doing wrong? Whatever it was it wasn’t how he presented himself. He looked gorgeous in his grey slim fit suit and smart tan shoes. He is 5’9, short jet black hair, with beautiful bright blue eyes, but I guess it’s what you say in interview which is important, not how you look. He stood up, grabbed his posh leather bag his dad had gotten him for his graduation, shook the panel’s hands and made his way out into the busy London street. No sooner had he stepped out the building a rough looking man bumped into him with a cigarette burning a hole right into the shoulder. ‘Hey!’ said Tom. ‘Fuck off, prick’ cursed the man as he hurried on. It was the final straw, a tear rolled down Tom’s face. He couldn’t take much more of life at this point. Everything was falling apart, or that’s how it felt. 23, no job, no friends who are local, his mum has passed away and he’s still living with his grieving dad Steve. After travelling back by train Tom let himself into the house and rushed straight upstairs to his room. ‘How’d the interview go?’ called his Dad from his study. ‘Crap’ shouted back Tom. Once in the room he started to undress. He hung up his suit jacket and inspected the burn. Maybe it could be repaired? Probably not, now he doesn’t even have a suit if he gets another interview. Nevertheless he took off the trousers and placed the suit in its special bag like always, before putting it in the wardrobe. He grabbed his joggers and a t-shirt and turned to lay on his bed, but as he did, he saw something which made his blood run cold. Could this day get any worse? His worst nightmare was lying in front of him. His heart thumped in his chest as if it was about to exit it. His face flushed red, sweat started to bead on his forehead, panic started to set in. Lying there in front of him was one of his adult nappies, and on it a note. “Hey son, let’s talk, love Dad”. Tom had bought these nappies a few months back from a medical supply company whilst his Dad had been away for work. He’d been interested in them for a while. He’d enjoyed the few he’d tried but he’d not had the courage to wear them once his dad got back. He’d hidden them under his bed in a carrier bag, but clearly his dad had found them. He couldn’t believe it, how could this happen? For an hour he sat there thinking of excuses he could make, plausible stories he could tell. “They’re not mine”. “I’ve been having bedwetting problems”, “I…” none of them seemed convincing. He didn’t feel like he could leave the room. After at least an hour and a half his dad called ‘dinner!’ Heart thumping and head racing he made his way down the stairs. He was physically shaking. When he saw his Dad at the table, he froze. ‘So you don’t think they’ll ask you back?’ asked his Dad. ‘No’ Tom tried to say, but nothing came out. ‘No’ he said eventually in his third attempt. ‘Sit down it’s getting cold’ said his Dad gesturing to Toms dinner. Tom made his way over and sat down in silence. For a short while they both ate, but Tom really wasn’t hungry, if anything he felt sick. He just shuffled his food around. When his dad had finished he reached out and put his had on Tom’s. ‘Talk to me Tom’ he said gently, trying to make eye contact. Tom was physically shaking, he couldn’t speak, he was living his worst nightmare. His Dad lent across to him. ‘I found your nappies mate’ he said. Just hearing that out loud drove through Tom like a train. ‘They’re not mine’ he blurted out. It was like a reflex, he heard himself say it, but he didn’t think he’d actually processed what he was going to say yet. His dad gave him a soft smile. ‘I know they’re yours son’. He said softly. ‘Tell me why’ he asked. Tom put his shaking hands over his eyes, tears now starting to well up. ‘Please talk to me son’. ‘I’m sorry Dad, I’m such a failure. I’ve got no friends, I don’t have any hobbies, I can’t get a job, I’m going nowhere. I’m a disappointment. If mum were alive she’d be heartbroken at what a useless adult I’ve become’. ‘Oh don’t be silly’ said his Dad. ‘You’re going through a tough time, I know, we both are, but you have your whole life ahead of you. You’re only 23’ Tom couldn’t look at his Dad, he still had his hands over his eyes. ‘I just wish things were like years ago, when mum was alive, when I was carefree and….happy’ sobbed Tom. ‘Is that why you bought the nappies?’ His dad asked gently. ‘I dunno, I dunno why I bought them’ said Tom regretfully. ‘Do they take you back, to a happy place? Are they a stress reliever for you or something?’ His dad enquired. ‘I guess so, I’m sorry, I’ll throw them away, please don’t think I’m a weirdo or a sicko dad, please’ said Tom. ‘I don’t, I understand, if they relax you and you want to wear them that’s fine. I wore them myself for a bit when I was your age’. Tom immediately pulled his face out of his hands. That was an unexpected sentence. ‘What?’ Said Tom in shock. ‘I wore nappies as a stress reliever, to regress for a few years, never did me any harm, better than drugs or booze’. Said his dad dismissively. Tom didn’t know what to say, he just stared at his dad in shock, and in a strange sense, relief. His dad got up and gestured to Tom to get up and give him a hug. Tom obliged, got up and put his arms around his Dad. ‘You’re still shaking’ he said. ‘This might be the perfect time for one of those nappies’. Chapter 2 - Relief When Tom went back into his room the nappy was still there laying on the bed. Half of him desperately wanted to put it on the other half wanted to throw it out the window. Eventually the half that wanted to wear it won out and he started to unfurl it. After he’d just had permission to hadn’t he? He slowly pulled down his joggers, pulled down his boxers and sat himself on the nappy. He laid back for a moment and stared at the ceiling. “What am I doing?” He repeated to himself, but his desire to carry on pushed through and he slowly and carefully applied the 4 tapes of his Tena Maxi adult nappy. He slowly closed his legs. The nappy popped and crinkled as it resisted. The feeling was amazing, he could feel the stress of this bizarre day drain away. After a while his dad called up. ‘You can come down you know, I want to watch Traitors’. Tom and his Dad had been watching it on catchup together each evening. Tom stood up, his nappy crinkling, not overly loudly, but noticeably in a quiet room. He pulled the joggers over it and looked in the mirror. It wasn’t noticeable from the front. He made his way down and quickly sat in the chair, so his dad couldn’t notice or tell. Tom was hugely into the Traitors on TV, but his mind was elsewhere tonight. As his dad commented on it, he just managed the occasional “yeah” instead of the usual debate. Eventually it finished and his dad switched off the TV. He looked across at Tom expectantly. ‘So did you put one on?’ He asked. Tom paused for a moment. ‘Yeah’ he said shyly. ‘Feel better now?’ asked his Dad. Tom breathed out slowly. ‘Yeah, I guess I do’. He said eventually. ‘Good’ said his dad. If that’s all it takes to relax you, just wear them son, I won’t judge. ‘Can I ask a practical question though?’ ‘What?’ asked Tom uncertain. ‘Do you, wet yourself?’ His dad asked plainly. ‘No!’ exclaimed Tom, as if it was a ridiculous question. He’d worn three on his own, and it had not remotely occurred to him to wet them. It was just the feeling of the bulk he liked. He wasn’t about to start wetting himself! ‘I mean, it’s not a crazy thing to ask Tom’ his Dad said. ‘You’re wearing a nappy and I ask if you wet yourself’. There was an awkward pause. ‘Well, if you do have an accident, I’ll put some bin bags in your room. Take it off, ball it up, put it in the bag, tie it up and put it outside your door, I’ll get rid of it. Don’t put it in the bins in the house, they can smell after a bit’. ‘Oh for god sake dad, I don’t wet myself!’ Repeated Tom as he got up to leave the room. ‘Hey’ called his dad grabbing his arm. ‘Don’t walk off on me, I’m being understanding and supportive. ‘It was a perfectly reasonable question and I wanted to make sure we have a plan for it’. ‘I know, sorry Dad, it’s just weird that’s all’ said Tom genuinely. ‘I guess I’m just embarrassed, y’know’. ‘Yeah I get that son, wearing a nappy is embarrassing, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of, people wear them for all sorts of reasons. As long as they’re helping you, it’s all good, I’m proud of you for talking to me about it at all and doing what makes you happy. I don’t think I could have handled it so well with my dad if he ever found mine’. Tom thought to ask his Dad if he ever wet his nappies, but it just felt too weird. Chapter 3 - The bathroom problem Tom stood in the bathroom cleaning his teeth, then habitually turned to the toilet to do a wee before getting into bed. As he went to grab it his hand slammed into his pad, not his boxers, opps. He reached inside and tried to pull it out the top, but he’s not that well endowed and it wouldn’t reach well enough even with the nappy pulled right down, he’d just pee all over himself. He tucked himself back down, squatted and reached into a leg guard. The guard was tight, but he managed to get the head out and point it to the toilet. He tried to go, but the pressure of the leg guard was stopping the flow. He squatted even more, and eventually wee squirted out, some in the loo, some up the wall and some in the bath. It was very awkward, and it had made a huge mess, but eventually he was done. He hurriedly started to clean up bathroom. Once in his room, he dropped his joggers, took off his t-shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. Like before, half of him thought he looked good with the nappy on, the other half thought he looked like a freak. For a moment he planned to take it off, but ultimately decided against it, he didn’t have many, he didn’t have any money and he didn’t want to waste it. He pulled on his pjs over the top of it. It took a while before he fell asleep, the feel of the nappy seemed somewhat overwhelming. It was keeping him awake, but eventually he did drop of. … He looked over at the clock with one eye, 3:10am. He woke up for a wee at this time every night. For a split second he thought about going in his nappy, but it was just a second. He made his way to the bathroom, where exactly the same thing happened as earlier, except worse, because this time he was half asleep. Like before he hurriedly cleaned up, to what he thought was a good standard, and made his way back to bed. … The following morning, he woke as usual and made his way downstairs. ‘Jam on toast?’ asked his Dad? ‘Yes please’ said Tom still a little sleepy. As his Dad made breakfast, he turned to Tom. ‘Ok, here’s something I gotta say’. He said. ‘If you’re going to wear those nappies in my house, I’d much rather you wee in it and cleanly dispose of it, than wee all over the bathroom’ he said waving the butter knife. ‘Sorry, I thought I cleared up’ said Tom in a bit of a panic. ‘I just need some practice, sorry’. ‘Tom’s’ dad turned around. ‘If you want to wear, but still use the loo. I’ll get you some pull-ups, but if you’re in those it’s just not really practical, unless you remove it, which of course pretty much ruins it. Tom thought again about asking his dad if he’d wet his, but like before it just felt odd and creepy to ask his dad that. ‘I’ll try sitting next time’ said Tom. Chapter 4 - A Subscription! It may surprise you to know that after his shower that day Tom put on regular underpants. He’d had his fill, in fact for the next 2 days, no more nappy and it was only mentioned a couple of times by his dad, gently enquiring whether he was wearing one or not. That doesn’t mean Tom hadn’t thought about what had happened virtually every waking minute. It was just that after the initial rush it just felt too awkward to go about his normal daily routine at home, in front of his dad, with a nappy on. That initial confidence had been lost. Tom was at his computer at about 11am, his Dad was in his study downstairs working. He’s a self employed accountant, he works from home most days, only occasionally going into the city to meet a client. There was a knock at the door. “Sign here please mate” Tom heard the delivery driver say, before several thud sounds. Tom made his way down curiously. In the hall his Dad was positioning 3 large boxes. ‘What you ordered?’ asked Tom. His dad stepped back with a big proud grin. ‘Open one’ he said. Tom stepped forward and pulled the tape off of the box on top and flapped it open. ‘Nappies!?!’ He said in shock. ‘Why have you ordered nappies?’ Tom said with a look of confusion on his face. ‘Because you told me you like to wear them, so I’ve ordered you them for you.’ Tom looked at the huge pile. 21 per pack, 3 in a box, 3 boxes. 189 nappies! ‘Well how many are you expecting me to get through?’ He asked incredulously. ‘I don’t know, but you save on delivery if you spend over £80 and get 10% off if you sign up for a subscription, so I got 3 cases’. ‘A subscription!’ Tom said almost shouting. ‘It’s ok, I can cancel it, there’s no commitment’ said his dad waving it off. ‘Look they’re there if you want one. You feel stressed, or just want one they are there. Take a pack up to your room, I’ll store the rest in the spare room’. Tom walked up to his room carrying his bag of nappies. He couldn’t decide what he thought about it. It had been great that his dad hadn’t freaked out, it had been a huge relief his dad was so supportive, but buying him 3 cases without asking? As Tom looked at the nappies in the pack on his bed next to him, he had an odd feeling. He wanted to put one on of course, but he also now felt this uncomfortable expectation from his that he would, and that if he didn’t his dad be oddly disappointed that he’d wasted his money. He put the pack to one side and made his way downstairs. He tapped on his dad’s study door. ‘I’ve got to ask dad, why have you ordered me three cases of nappies without asking me if I want them?’ His dad turned around on his office chair and took off his reading glasses. ‘Because son, if I’d have asked if you wanted me to order them you’d have said no, and I know you want them deep down. You can’t afford them, and you’d not order when I’m here even if you could, so I just ordered them for you. Save you the anxiety. You’re under no obligation, they’re there if you want them’. Chapter 5 - No obligation Tom’s days were not as full as they could be. He’d get up, have breakfast and then go on the job hunting sites. If there was anything to apply for, he’d apply for it. Generally though he was done by lunchtime and scratching around for something to do. Today was one of those days, he’d applied for one job, he didn’t really like the sound of it, but it was that or apply for nothing. He went over to the pack of nappies that had just arrived and pealed them open. They were the same make as the ones he’d bought, but these were the highest absorbency ‘Ultima’ version. He pulled one out, and held it. Just holding it in his hand gave him a buzz. He un furled it and felt the contrast been the smooth plastic outer shell and soft padded inside. It gave him a magical, warm and excited feeling inside. He slowly pulled down his jeans, then his boxers and laid himself on the bed. Slowly and carefully he pulled the nappy up snuggly between his legs and securely taped it on. Instantly the day went from empty and dull to a whirlwind of emotion. He no longer felt bored, he felt excited. The nappy, that his own dad had bought him no less, sat comfortably and reassuringly between his legs. He reached down and felt it. The bulk was considerable, his man parts locked away beneath the thick padding. He laid on his bed in just his t-shirt and nappy, just enjoying the moment for a while, before lifting himself up from his dreamlike state to stand. The nappy pushed between his legs. As his walked over to his mirror he could feel its presence with every step. He looked at himself in the mirror. He liked what he saw, he thought it looked both cute and smart all at the same time. … “Knock-knock” ‘Hi son I’m done, fancy a walk?’ Called his dad through the door. Tom dived to the floor to grab his jeans and then tried to pull them on in a panic. As he did, his door started to open. Before long he was standing there in front of his dad, trousers half up in a t-shirt and nappy. ‘Ah, you tried one’ said his dad. ‘Like em?’ ‘Err yeah’ said Tom. ‘A bit thicker’ ‘Yeah, I thought well, if you do wet yourself, these will last you a bit longer’. Replied his dad. Tom didn’t know how to reply to that. His instinct was to say ‘I don’t wet myself’ like before, but in truth he was thinking about giving it a go, given how difficult it was to use the loo. ‘I can’t go for a walk in this’ said Tom, pointing to his nappy. ‘Why?’ asked his dad. ‘Err, why do you think?’ Replied Tom. ‘No, genuinely Tom I don’t know why’ his dad replied. ‘Tell me’ ‘People will notice!!’ said Tom. ‘Who’s going to notice?’ said his dad incredulously. ‘You can’t tell it’s there under clothes’ he said confused. ‘It’s a private thing, no one knows what underwear you’ve got on, get over yourself’. Tom finished buttoning up his jeans. They were actually a little tight with his Tena Ultima nappy underneath. ‘I’m going to take it off’ he said as he started unbuttoning again. ‘Right’ said his dad authoritatively. ‘I’m supportive, but to a point. I won’t have piss all over the bathroom and I’m not having you waste nappies by putting them on, then just taking them off again moments later. They’re expensive. Do up your bloody trousers and stop being silly’ Tom didn’t really know what to say. He stopped unbuttoning. ‘Does it really not show?’ ‘No son, it doesn’t’. Now come on it’s a nice day, let’s get some fresh air. … As Tom walked along the bulk of the nappy was present with every step. Both he and his dad were fast walkers, but in his nappy and tight jeans he was struggling to keep up a little. It was a beautiful day. They went to the park, had an ice cream and on the way back walked past the local pub. ‘Fancy a cheeky pint?’ Asked his dad. They often went into the pup together. ‘Yeah, why not’ said Tom. They both had a couple of pints before it was time to leave. They didn’t talk about Toms nappy at all, mostly about the Traitors on TV. ‘Ok, I’m going to pop to the loo and then we’ll head off’ said his Dad. ‘Ah yeah, me too’ said Tom. His dad stopped and looked at him. ‘You do make me laugh, why are you doing it to yourself? You can’t wee all over the floor in a public bathroom, it’s rude and disrespectful’. Tom looked at him, kinda accepting that he had a point. Whilst it felt so crazy to wet himself, as his dad became more accepting and as Tom was waddling around in the nappy anyway, it felt increasingly silly to not use it for what it was designed for. ‘The thing is son’ said his dad. ‘They deteriorate after 4-6 hours anyway, so you gotta change it whether you use it or not, you may as well use it. Tom stood and waited whilst his dad went to the loo. He was breaking his neck, but he couldn’t go. Something in his brain was telling him no. He couldn’t just wet himself right there in the middle of the pub! As they walked back, Tom was getting increasingly desperate and his dad noticed. Tom was walking quicker and quicker and couldn’t stop grabbing his crotch. His bladder felt like it was going to burst. ‘Stop walking a minute’ said his dad, stopping himself. Tom stopped, the urge unbearable. ‘If you don’t let it go you’ll hurt your kidneys. That’s what I did, it was agony for days. That’s why I’m trying to help you. Just go, you don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me’ With that Tom’s bladder burst, right there in the street. Wee poured uncontrollably into his nappy. He stared desperately at his jeans in the full expectation that wee would be pouring down them, but it was not. What he could feel though was his nappy expanding and getting larger and tighter in his jeans. After what felt like forever, he stopped. ‘Come on then’ said his said. As Tom walked on the nappy felt completely different to before. It was much much bulkier, oddly to him though it didn’t feel at all wet. It had clearly absorbed all the wee and left him dry, which was pretty amazing actually, who’d have thought they’d work so well? It felt so strange yet at the same time so comforting to have had an accident and been protected by his nappy. It also made him feel small, having just stood there in front of his dad and wet himself. As they walked along his dad turned to him and chuckled. ‘So I guess that answers my question. You do wet yourself.’ Chapter 6 - Something awkward Over the next few days Tom had worn a nappy on and off, even when wearing all but a couple of very carefully managed wees has been in the toilet, with great difficulty. He was really conflicted about whether to wear one or not. Even though his dad was fine with it, almost encouraging it, he was still embarrassed to talk about it, and felt a little silly with it on. Things had been reasonably normal. His dad had enquired occasionally as to the state of his nappy, but it wasn’t often. Just things like. “If you’re wet son, don’t forget to change regularly”. His dad had also bought him some powders and creams and impressed upon him the importance of good skin care and hygiene. “Wearing nappies isn’t dirty or gross son, but you do need to up your game on hygiene and skin care” he’d said. … As they sat and watched tv that evening, Tom decided he’d do a wee in his nappy. He stood and after a few odd movements he started to wet himself. ‘Good lad, I notice you’re getting better at that’ said his dad. Tom stood a while longer until he’d finished, then sat back down in his now wet nappy and finally said something that was increasingly bothering him. ‘Dad’ he said. ‘Can I ask you something really awkward?’ His dad switched off the tv and looked at him with suspicion. ‘Okaaay’ he said slowly, Tom took a deep breath. ‘Do you like me in nappies?’ He eventually asked. ‘What do you mean?’ asked his dad. ‘Well, like just then, and other times, you seem to be encouraging it. Like you want me to be in nappies and wet myself and stuff’ asked Tom. His dad moved his gaze away for a moment thinking about what he was going to say. Eventually he returned to Tom. ‘It’s not about me, it’s about you son. I just want you to have what I never had, an understanding parent during this part of your life. It’s obviously in our genes to like this. I’ve passed it on to you. I want it to be as easy and enjoyable as possible for you to go through. Not like my experience. I’d have loved my dad to have accepted my nappy wearing, but I never got it, and I never got to find out what he would have done or said.’ ‘I see’ said Tom. ‘Granddad never knew?’ What would you have wanted granddad to do or say?’ Asked Tom. ‘I’d have liked him to say it’s fine, I’d have liked acceptance, I’d have liked….to have…well it doesn’t matter’. ‘No do say’ said Tom. ‘Heck, we’re beyond holding back aren’t we?’ Tom’s Dad paused for a considerable time. ‘I’d have liked him to change me. BUT that doesn’t mean I’m asking to change you!’ He blurted out Tom sat there, looking at his Dad. ‘Do you want to change me then?’ He asked gingerly. ‘No, No!’ said his dad definitely. ‘That’s not what I meant, I wish I’d not said that’ ‘You don’t want to, or you feel like you don’t want to ask?’ ask Tom. His dad looked increasingly uncomfortable. ‘I can’t do this’ he said starting to stand. Tom grabbed his arm like he had his a couple of days before’. His dad sat back down. ‘What do you want from this?’ Asked Tom. ‘Why are you so supportive? Why are you buying them for me?’ Asked Tom ‘Son please’ said his dad desperately trying to end the conversation. ‘No, come on dad, we gotta have this discussion’ insisted Tom. His dad started to claw at the said of the chair. ‘Because I remember how much I wanted to go back into nappies, and if I’m honest a part of me still does want to occasionally. I remember bottling it up for years, the anxiety of trying it, hiding it, feeling wrong and weird. When I discovered you’d inherited this from me I decided I didn’t want you to go through what I did. I wanted you to be yourself, be happy, fulfil your desires, be content in yourself’. Tom didn’t know what to say. His dad went on. ‘And if I’m completely honest, I want to share in your joy of it, in a way I never got to. Sorry I know that’s selfish, I don’t want to put you under any pressure, this mustn’t be about me’. ‘I really do appreciate that dad, thanks so much’ said Tom as he came over for a hug. ‘Have I got it right?’ His dad asked ‘What do you mean?’ Asked Tom ‘Do they make you feel how I think they do?’ ‘They do make me feel happy and relaxed’ said Tom. ‘A kind of contentment I’ve not felt in a long time’. ‘Then tell me son, tell me why you shouldn’t wear them as much as you want?’ After a long pause ‘When I say I’m not asking to change you, please don’t think it’s because I wouldn’t. If you asked I’d be right there for you, but I’d never put you under any pressure to, you know that don’t you?’ ‘Yeah I know that dad’ said Tom. ‘I’m not sure that’s something I could handle, at least not now’.

Hey everyone! Yay! We’re now over halfway through this story. There’s a lot more to tell and while some of it will just be going over some of the events I already mentioned in my previous story, I promise there’s going to be lots of twists and turns in store. Went to a Littles party yesterday actually and while that was pretty fun, there was just no way I could edit another chapter in time to be put out before my busy day today. Tomorrow is another busy day unfortunately, and while I will try all that I can to get another chapter out, I might not be able to post again until Monday. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 9: A Healing Fieldtrip Memory can be a fickle thing in one’s life, especially if one suddenly found themselves in the midst of a post-regression and post-locked-in state like I had. On one hand, I was remembering so many things, but I also found that with every pro I found, a con was sure to follow. Remembering that I’m Emma, and it wasn’t just a term to refer to me as, such as ‘girl,’ ‘Little,’ or any other name, was a positive. Feeling like I was called something else at one point and still not remembering it though, not so much. Remembering all the good times with my friends and Nancy felt so wonderful. Remembering how far I had fallen or the new maternal bond that Nancy now insisted we share however, likewise came with a lot of negatives as well. While her temper had improved tremendously, I felt a fear regarding Nancy’s new personality. At first, I thought she would be thrilled as I began to progress in my maturity, but each time I did, I felt a little cloud of maternal yet potent anger hover over her. Even if it was something as simple as crawling across my nursery’s floor one day, I felt like I was in the wrong. In no time at all, I found myself afraid that at any moment, she would snap and try to get me back to where I was as practically a newborn… by any means necessary. Still, while I was at daycare, which soon almost oddly became my sanctuary away from most of my drama back home, I was reunited with both my magical stuffy and my friends. And, if that wasn’t enough, I was progressing much faster here than anyone else had anticipated. I was still in the Burrows room and probably would be for another three months at this rate, but I could tell that I was quickly being retrained in order to go back to the Meadows room one day. While before it felt like a prison, now however, I felt it was a lofty goal for me to strive towards. “Come on, Emma!” Miss Tully cheered from the end of my crib in the Burrows room. “Crawl just a little more for me. Come on, sweetie!” Her encouragement flowed through me, but I felt something else surging in my body lately. It always seemed to be around my magical stuffy, so I figured it was just him working his little powers on me again. I wanted to question it all a little more, but not wanting to deny my little extra help, I had just accepted his seeming magic more and more, regardless of if I wanted to or not. At first, that lack of control sometimes scared me, but I quickly realized it was pushing me the exact amount I needed to be to get to the next step. So, for today as an example, on what was probably the fifth time I was struggling to make it across the crib, I just wanted to stop. Miss Tully freely encouraged me with all her might, but I was dead tired. I could use a nap for sure, and if post-lunch patterns were anything to be believed, a diaper change as well. Still, I tried to move on with all my might, but it didn’t seem to be enough anymore today. Right then though, I heard something float through my head like it had happened on the first day I reawakened. ‘Come on, Emma… come on… just a few crawls more…’ It was strange and almost ethereal with how little it came through, but it was still there. Moreover, I suddenly felt a willfulness in my limbs that almost seemed beyond me. Now, relearning everything that I had once known, that sensation was just kind of strangely common these days, but today, each of my near useless legs began to shuffle back towards Miss Tully. Thinking it was likely just me, Miss Tully cheered me on. “Thatta girl, Emma! Come on! Come to me. That’s it, baby!” Her encouragement felt babyish, but undoubtedly nice. Halfway through, I almost gave up again as my body began to falter for a second time, but once again, another voice floated through my head. ‘Come on, Emma… you can make it!’ It was the last push I needed to get through the final stretch. With almost a burst of energy, my limbs sped, or at least sped up, all the way to the other side of the crib. Miss Tully immediately beamed down at me and gave me a huge smile. “There you go, Emma!” She then picked me up and started bouncing me around. Considering my previous confinement to my crib, these new sensations that I was just freshly remembering again were nearly pure bliss. It was almost unbelievable to go from being essentially just a lump in a crib to being praised for crawling across the very same object. And things like that just started happening more and more to me. It was a grueling process, but not long after, despite a few setbacks every time I left the daycare and nursed from Nancy still, I had already gained the ability to walk when I could at least hold onto something or someone. Fortunately for me, it was just in time to go to on the field trip to the zoo. Nancy had protested that I wasn’t ready yet, but surprisingly, several of the staff members stood up for me, even going as far as to say that ‘it would help my overall progress.’ Nancy didn’t like that at all, but she begrudgingly accepted, which is why I now found myself being pushed in a stroller by Miss Tully. Despite being able to walk long distances now, like would be required at a zoo, something like a stroller was still unfortunately required. To help my self-image and acceptance of it though, I just imagined myself being carted around like I would if I was a queen of some kind. “Lookie, Emma!” Miss Tully shouted out, pointing over to a large bear. “Isn’t he just amazing?” I could only stare back at the bear for a moment in terror. He was at least triple my size and my head could have easily fit inside his tremendous mouth. I didn’t even see his claws full length but considering that just one of them seemed like a butcher knife ready to come for me, I just wanted to keep my distance. Likely sensing my apprehension, Miss Tully moved on and found several other animals I was interested in. Now, despite the details of my life still being fuzzy from before Nancy and Mrs. Tatum’s foster home, I very well knew that I was from a different place than here and hadn’t ever encountered some of the even just common animals to this place. What they saw as the average equivalent of a giraffe, to me, may have been a long dead or just a myth. So, it was no mistake that I was more fascinated with something like a woolly mammoth than a pond of flamingos, despite their double size here. It seemed pretty boring honestly, but when it thundered out its cry and shook the building, I was instantly hooked. Miss Tully, being who she was, noticed. “Aww! Do you like the woolly mammoth, sweetie?” Still unable to articulate more than a few syllables, I took some comfort that I could now speak in full sentences. If someone could understand them was another matter though, so in this case and not wanting to put up with the complex translation process, I just enthusiastically nodded. Fortunately for me, Miss Tully had been taking a special interest in me and was doting her personal attention sole on me today. So, having a free moment and seeing an opportunity for me to interact with the great beast, she quickly rolled me over to the line waiting nearby. It was a bit tedious and I kinda got bored at one point and began to fuss a bit, but finally, it was our turn. So, to better enjoy the experience, Miss Tully unbuckled me and held me in her arms. “Look, Emma. The mammoth is trying to say hello.” Right in front of us and to my utter amusement, I saw the mammoth approach us and wave its long trunk around. It let out another blast, and while several other Littles seemed terrified being so close now, I just giggled and reached out to touch it. It was an annoying habit I still retained from being nearly completely regressed to feel out the world around me, but today, it actually paid off. “Does she want to feed the mammoth, ma’am?” the zookeeper asked us from nearby. Miss Tully looked down at me and seeing my opportunity to interact with something so unique, I once again enthusiastically nodded my head. Both Bigs chuckled and Miss Tully nodded her head to continue with the mammoth interaction. “Yes, thank you. That would be very nice for Emma here.” “Emma… what a pretty name… no doubt short for Emily, huh?” the zookeeper said normally, but also with a strange note that somehow, she was more than a zookeeper. Miss Tully didn’t seem to notice, but as a keen outside observer now from my still static and somewhat regressed mentality, I had started to notice a lot of things. Fortunately, now, I could actually remember what had happened when I did see something. ‘If only I could remember the same with Mrs. Gillies and Nurse Bee…’ It felt important to remember whatever I saw individually between the two of them, but for now, the zookeeper only smiled back and handed Miss Tully a small bag of peanuts. “Okay, Emma. Let’s try this together first.” I nodded, and smiling, Miss Tully emptied a few peanuts into her palm and used her other hand to guide mine underneath hers up to the tips of the mammoth’s trunk. To my delight, seconds later, each of the peanuts was plucked out. Not being able to help myself and finding everything so amusing now, I giggled loudly. “I guess someone liked that, huh?” Miss Tully asked as she nuzzled with me for a moment. Not being able to contain myself anymore, and not even caring that one syllable versus another to Miss Tully would just sound the same, I didn’t care. I still wanted to be heard. “Dah!” Smiling and guiding my hand up once more with some peanuts, I just giggled in happiness as this time, my hand was on top. And again, the mammoth used its trunk and plucked each of the peanuts away. To be honest, it kinda tickled. Satisfied over a successful time seeing the mammoth and other animals of that enclosure of the zoo, Miss Tully used my smiles and limited input to next choose the birdhouse to visit. “Hee!” I shouted out next, hoping to go to one place in particular. As we walked there, we would occasionally see another cluster or two of Littles from the daycare, but today was specifically Littles Day, so everything was extremely crowded as we meandered through the various spaces. To my enjoyment, I even saw Anna and Lilly here today. I waved to both, and while I could still see their sadness and hesitancy over my present condition, I could also see a spark of joy as well. Being told that your friend may never regain their maturity must have been a bitter pill to swallow, even in this society, so seeing me slowly getting better I had to imagine was a big relief. Getting to the birdhouse, I marveled at the immaculate steel and glass structure all around us practically sparkling in the sunlight. It very much looked like one of the old birdcages from the outside, letting plenty of light in on the inside. Dozens of species of birds flocked around and above our heads as electronic barriers kept all the birds inside as extra safety precaution. It was one of the crown jewels of the zoo, which also meant that today, it was very crowded inside. Miss Tully wheeled me through the enclosure, and we saw birds from all over the world. To the east were birds from Asia, the north side had those from Europa, and the west and south sides had a mix of species all over elsewhere ranging from Australia to Metzlum. In each exhibit of the birdhouse, Miss Tully and I saw each of the birds in wonderment, but for me, it wasn’t enough. I was still strapped in my stroller, and I had been getting antsy for a while now. It might have been my diaper riding up or just the straps being too tight, but I wanted out. Miss Tully tried to convince me otherwise and get me to calm down, but she knew a losing battle when she saw one. Quickly being unbuckled, I practically sprang to the near invisible wall in front of me, separating the visitors from most of the birds. I felt I could almost just reach out and touch one of them, but my hand soundly colliding with the barrier was about as close as I got. Unfortunately for Miss Tully’s soon-to-be frayed nerves, a whole mass of other daycare Littles had just arrived at the group and were quickly crowding me. Now, I wasn’t exactly a slouch anymore as far as my physical abilities were concerned, but it didn’t take long for me to give way and slowly be edged away. Not being too tall either, she didn’t see me, and being too distracted by the wonderous birds, I didn’t even realize I was slowly getting pushed away from her. I thought I heard some woman yelling as I moved onto the next enclosure, but it didn’t take long for me to get distracted and see a dodo bird standing right in front of me. He was so goofy looking, and I wanted to touch him. I knew it was impossible on one level, but my still regressed instincts remained a powerful force in my body. Getting a little too close though, the dodo bird flapped away. “Bih!” I cried out before following the fascinating creature. Soon, I was in a part of the birdhouse that didn’t seem to be very popular. The birds were more ordinary and could be even found locally in some cases, so most groups avoided the area unless they were trying to be alone on purpose or were here on a school field trip and needed to complete their mandatory scavenger hunt. I just wanted to see the dodo bird up close coming in here, but soon, something else caught my easily distracted eye. I wasn’t sure of what it was at first, but my eyes were quickly drawn to the shiny nature of the object on the ground. I tried to will every ounce of my body away from the red shiny spot in front of me, but with my regressed instincts and still partially uncontrollable body, I dashed to it as fast as I could. In retrospect, I probably looked like a cat jumping over a laser on the ground, and part of me wanted to groan over my perceived immaturity with something as simple as an object being shiny, but my movements just powered forward. “Shi! Shi!” It wasn’t long before it darted just out of my reach, so, now hooked, I chased after it. “Shi! Shi! Doh go! Nu! Co ba hee!” With my waddled stance, I ran as best I could after the ever-moving dot. A few corridors, down some stairs, and even through a pair of doors. I had no idea where I was, but the shiny dot soon stopped in the middle of the room. Determined to catch my prey, I leaped over on top of it. ‘I got you now!’ But when I uncapped my clasped hands, instead of seeing my prize in all its glory, nothing was there. Frustrated, I could feel a few tears begin to mist my eyes. In desperation, I looked around, but the shiny spot was gone, and I realized two things with a growing sense of terror. First, I had no idea where I was, now seeing that the bright lights of the birdcage were completely replaced by concrete walls and dim lighting. Second, I started to hear noises all around me. I tried to scamper to the door I thought I had come through, but in seconds, the room was filled by at least five people. I feared the worst and that I was now about to be kidnapped by Bigs and sold into Little’s slavery, as had become horrifyingly popular again, but as my scared eyes opened a crack when I wasn’t immediately seized, I saw they were almost all my size. “Easy, easy, sweetie…” the one a little bit out front of the others said as she held her arms up as if she was surrendering to me. “We don’t want to hurt you. We just want to help…” I only could stare back at her, namely her clothing. Tactical gear adorned most of her body and there were some painted shapes on her shoulders I didn’t recognize, but thinking back, they quickly reminded me of what Sarge often looked when Jimmy outfitted him for one of his mock wars in daycare with the other stuffy’s. “Sodoah?” I asked inquisitively. The other members of the group looked at each other questioningly, but the leader came closer to me and stared deeply into my eyes. “I don’t think you’re asking for a soda, and while my friends here think you’re a lost cause, I don’t think you are.” She squinted her eyes back at me as if she was trying to read my mind. It made me a little scared to be honest. “Hmmm… let’s do this. I ask a few questions and you just nod back. So, first, can you understand me?” I wasn’t sure if this was a trick and the guns a few of them carried definitely frightened me, but the leader just seemed to have kind eyes. I wanted to know more about her and who she was, but not seeing the harm in indulging her question, I nodded. Her face quickly lit up. “Perfect. Now, is your name… Emma?” I nodded. “Good. Is your caregiver, mommy, mistress, nanny, babysitter, or foster caretaker named Nancy?” I wasn’t sure about some of those labels, but I recognized a few as belonging to Nancy, so again, I nodded. She grinned back at her friends. “Three affirmations. Is that good enough for you, Martinez?” One of the shorter ones in the back of the group sighed and then rolled their eyes. “Yeah, Bree. It’s enough. Just get it over with so we can get out of here. Netsky is already getting back chatter of a missing Little. This area’s going to be swarming soon.” The leader, Bree, nodded her head and smiled back at me for a moment, before looking extremely serious. “Sorry, Emma. This isn’t personal. We just need you back in play.” I started to question what was happening, but two of the group soon lunged and gripped me tightly by the arms. I felt a sudden warmth in the front of my diaper, but I was far more focused on what my eyes were now seeing as a giant needle headed straight for me. “Way! Way! Nu!” I tried to struggle as much as I could, but I was still no match for any of those now holding onto me. I did everything in my power to resist, but the other member of the group walked right up to me and stuck my exposed upper arm with the shot without an ounce of hesitation. It hurt something awful, and I probably would have screamed out in terror, but the members were well prepared and quickly plugged my mouth with a massive pacifier. Scared out of my mind, I saw as Bree walked closer to me and forced me to look directly at her. Oddly though, her gesture was soft and tender… not angry or brutal as I might expect in these situations. I was so confused what was happening. Bree then sighed. “I’m very sorry. I know that probably hurt a lot, but since I know you can understand me, I’ll just start talking while it takes effect. As you heard, we don’t have much time left together.” She closed her eyes for a moment and then pulled out a photo of Nancy and showed it to me. “This is Nancy, right?” I quickly nodded, but I also started to feel a funny feeling up in my head. Oddly enough, it almost felt… more awake, but the feeling was intermittent, and I really couldn’t tell if there was a pattern to it or not. Bree sighed again and pocketed the photo. “We normally don’t intervene in your types of situations. We wish we could, but we would never accomplish any of our other goals with everyone needing help. Helcats can focus on that portion of Littles.” She then paused and gestured to her friends. “See, we extract or awaken Littles like you to gather information or force actions into play that are beneficial to us in the long run. For you, we need to see what Nancy does with how you are… or at least will be. We believe she is connected with a dangerous figure high up in the pro-big movement.” I tired to rack my brain about who it could be, but I was still coming up blank, even as they removed my pacifier. “Soeee… No can hewp you…” I wanted to say more, but I then realized I actually could say more. The others in the group giggled over my reaction as my arms were set free. Bree smiled back. “Yeah. That’s the drugs working alright. Say you hit your head or something like that when you’re asked later about your ‘miraculous’ recovery, and they should just accept it. It’s the sad positive and negative with them using new experimental super drugs on us Littles. Outcomes can always vary.” My mind wheeled about with what had all just happened, and while my body still felt very much the same, portions of my brain I thought were long dormant, almost seemed to start waking up. My memory sadly was still massively full of holes, but it was a huge relief to feel more or less like… well, me. Still, even with all my relief, I still had one pressing question. “Who aww you?” Bree smiled and helped me back to my feet fully. “I’m Bree, or Briana, but we’re Omega Force. Part of the pro-Littles movement. We want to help bring about…” But right before she could say another word, a loud beeping noise could be heard. “Boss!” the one they had referred to Netsky called out. “Incoming! Suggest extraction in t-minus two!” Bree quickly looked panicked. “Shoot! Faster than I thought.” She looked back to arm and sighed. “At least we got you pumped up, but now, follow us and we’ll get you topside without getting you into trouble.” I was still so confused, but not really seeing an alternative and feeling they knew a lot more than they were letting on, I readily followed them out, and sure enough, I was soon bathed in the relatively still abandoned upper halls of the birdhouse. “Dank you…” I said back. Bree smiled. “You’re very welcome, Emma. Just stay safe but go. Rejoin Miss Tully.” We both waved goodbye at each other, and I went to find Miss Tully once their team was fully out of sight. It didn’t take long before I saw the panic my absence had caused. Security guards were scrambling all over the place and Mrs. Gillies had even arrived on the scene and seemed to really be yelling at Miss Tully. I instantly felt guilty over having wandered off before, but part of me felt everything was justified on my end at least as my brain had never felt better. So, knowing I just had to get this out of the way, I ran over to Miss Tully and Mrs. Gillies. “Miss Tuwwy! “Missus Giwees! I wigh’ hewe!” I shouted out to a clearly panicked duo near some security guards. I expected they would have been positively thrilled to see me again and seeming much better now, but instead, I just saw dozens of confused looks stare right back at me. The questions that followed seemed never-ending and being a loyal person to the Littles apart of Omega Force that had saved me, I didn’t reveal what really happened. Instead, I just made up some bogus story about falling and bumping my head a bit, just as they had suggested, as I tried to chase the dodo bird. Their hope for a simple explanation was my strength and I was just glad that in my new mental state, I could actually use it. So, satisfied at least for now, everyone got on the bus and left the zoo. Once we were safely back at daycare, though, I could see the worried expressions from the staff and even a few of my fellow Littles. Littles simply did not just poof and get better. Fortunately, My Tully and Miss Valerie seemed on my side. “Maybe it had to do with how she was regressed?” Miss Valerie offered up as an explanation. “What do you mean by that?” Mrs. Gillies questioned suspiciously. Miss Valerie almost responded, but Miss Tully stopped her first. “It’s okay, Val. I’ve got this. I need to speak my mind anyway.” After a nod from Miss Valerie, Miss Tully turned to Mrs. Gillies. “We all respect your hiring decisions, ma’am, but’ it’s just that… well, we don’t really know what goes into Nurse Bee’s formulas that she uses.” “Shhh!” Miss Mindy shushed her coworker. “We don’t want everyone hearing about what really goes on here. We’re ‘Little friendly’ but we’re not ‘pro-Little.’ You want to get sued into the ground?” Miss Tully nodded. “Right. Sorry, but honestly though… we really don’t know anything about what she uses. That’s a problem in and of itself, but maybe there’s a half-life to it or something in certain doses or even whatever formula she used.” Miss Tully then looked around the gathered group and frowned. “Where is the good nurse anyway?” Mrs. Gillies sighed. “She’s on leave. Some personal matter. You know my policy not to pry into certain things outside of these daycare walls. She’ll be back tomorrow anyways… I suggest we ask her some questions then, okay?” The rest of the staff hesitated but then ultimately nodded at the notion. Somehow, I doubted that if any of them had objected truly that they would have noted so then. Regardless, Nancy soon picked me up and as soon as Miss Tully whispered something in her ear, I could already see the burning flames nearly erupt out of her head. A silent car drive later and I knew that tonight was going to be a rough one with her. So, I should have known better, but I honestly had to tell Nancy about my day at the zoo. Not the shot part, but definitely all the animal’s part. She may have been going down a dark path, but there was still some part of me that wanted her to know everything about my day. So, I started up, not even seeing the issue with doing so. “We wen’ to da zoo taday!” Nancy halted and her face dropped. I wondered if I had said something wrong or if she had finally snapped, but I knew that wasn’t the case when her face turned into a wicked snarl. “You got better… I thought Miss Tully was just trying to get me to crack, but how?” I yelled. “How did you get better?” Her teeth gritted against themselves, and she quickly thumped over to me and grabbed my arm and looked deeply into my eyes. “This morning… this morning… you were all cooing and babbles. Walking but still a baby… now…” If I didn’t know any better, she almost seemed disgusted with how she saw me now. I was so confused and more than a little scared. “I’m losing you, damn it! You were mine… all mine! And now…” her emotions seemed to quickly fluctuate between sorrow and anger. I almost felt bad for her, seeing how she had finally accepted her new role only for me to already be getting better by then. It was a small feeling, and to be honest, each time I came home to find her angry over my new ability, that speck of sympathy just grew smaller. Her face then swung back to anger, and she seemed to get an idea of some kind. “The daycare… it was the daycare, wasn’t it?” I just stood there like a statue, neither wanting to get the daycare or Omega Force into trouble. I was stuck between lies or betrayal no matter what, but a cold, slithering voice soon froze my heart. “And just what did you expect?” a somewhat familiar voice asked rhetorically from the kitchen. “That’s just what and who they are.” To my dreaded surprise, Nurse Bee then exited and glared down at me. “They just want Littles like Emma here to take over this country. Pro-Littles the lot of them! Just you wait.” “So, what do I do?” Nancy questioningly wailed. I could feel the pain behind her words, but these two getting together suddenly started clicking within my head. ‘Maybe Omega force is here because of their relationship… but why? What could be so important about Nurse Bee?’ I was still puzzled over the notional conspiracy theory, but Nurse Bee quickly interrupted my thoughts. “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do,” Nurse Bee said definitively. “We’re going to strike back. They hit us, we hit them. Check all the corners of that place for anti-regression devices. Insist on it. After all, they can’t deny you forever.” Nancy seemed hesitant though. “I don’t know… isn’t that crossing a line though?” Nurse Bee glared back. “Don’t you want your baby Little back. Don’t you want your sweet tiny Emma back in your arms like she only was a week ago?” Nancy seemed to hesitate, but Nurse Bee just doubled down. “Look at her, Nancy. She’s already this mature in such a short period. What is she going to be like in a week? A month? Is she even going to need you anymore?” Nancy’s brain obviously was on overload, but with each passing second, her face only grew angrier. Nurse Bee was getting through to her and I knew it wouldn’t be long before her frustrations were taken out on me. “What do we do?” she asked coldly. Nurse Bee smiled back. “There are several things we can do. I’ll do some checking with stock and get you what you need or what I can get on short notice.” She paused and looked back at me briefly before switching back to Nancy. “So, now do you believe me about the daycare being part of the pro-Littles movement around here?” Nancy seemed to think again for a moment, but then just nodded. “I do. I can’t believe I was so stupid, but yes, I do believe.” I had never seen Nurse Bee so happy in my life. “Perfect.” The two then got a whole lot closer to me and looked in my direction with looks of anger, desire, and power dancing in their eyes. “For tonight though, nurse her. Force her if needed but nurse her. For now, it’s something and can tip the scales in your favor over time if they decide to get dirty in all this.” I wished and hoped like I never had before that Nancy would somehow break off this notion and just take care of me in the ways I still needed. I wanted her to be my caregiver more than anything else by now, but Nurse Bee had knotted her up all good and proper by now. So, without the slightest hesitation, Nancy nodded and grabbed me into her lap. I tried to struggle, but both Bigs just held me firm in her lap. Unfortunately, due to my still-present regressed instincts, as soon as Nancy was adjusted and unhooked her nursing bra, my body essentially went onto autopilot. As my lips wrapped around her engorged and somewhat leaking nipple, I could already feel my body giving in. Worse, it didn’t take long for my sucking reflex to soon kick in as well. I tried to fight, struggle, even bite back, back her milk had done its damage to me already. While incontinence, slower thinking, sleepiness, and a slight buzzing feeling were usual side effects, another was its addictive properties. Within seconds, like an addict returning for their high, I took in the milk with greedy abandonment. Soon, my eyes closed. I wondered about Omega Force, and I worried about my future. Plus, Nurse Bee was here and was clearly a bad influence on Nancy. I was powerless to stop any of it though, and as my belly filled with the milkshake-like milk, despite everything, I could only drift off in peace as the effects fully took ahold of me.

Here is the first chapter of my brand new LittleMonstrumVerse ABDL story - Arbitrio Sanguinis! My 11th novel so far, and 3rd novel in the 'LittleMonstrumVerse' series I've been writing. Set after the Infernum Infantem Christmas Special, we see my monster universe through another pair of eyes... ones looking for a special someone. Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them. They really help with the motivation to write more! Don't forget you get get 2 week early access (so 4 chapters) to my main ongoing story, if you subscribe to my Subscribestar. Also, please link to my stories rather than posting them as files when sharing with others! Chapter 1: Ennui Arbitrio Sanguinis – LittleFallenPrincess “Luce…?” “Lucy…” “Miss Piddlepants…” “Baby bloodsucker…” “Mushtush…” I could hear them all trying to get my attention, trying to tease me into responding… but I found it hard to break my eye contact with the floor. I was currently winning my staring contest with it, and I wasn’t going to let myself lose now, not this late into the game. Because I play to win… and totally not to avoid looking at all my happy friends with all their happy families and partners… totally not to avoid thinking about how everyone has someone but me… totally not to see all my friends sitting on their Mummy’s or Daddy’s laps… feeling happy… little… loved… Nope. Because that would make me a grumpy sourpuss. And I didn’t want to bring down the mood of the event by telling anyone what was really going on in my head. I had been hiding it for the longest time now and no matter what… I wasn’t going to bother any of them with it. Especially not since that whole awkward Christmas party that Nia had to deal with. I wasn’t going to add to her plate right now, she was still in her blissful post-engagement period where she and Vic couldn’t stop bragging about the proposal or the ring that Nia wore on her finger. Her stupid adorable finger. Totally not salty that everyone I knew was either married, getting married, or getting serious with a partner or partner. Totally not salty at the fact I hadn’t dated anyone in a long time, not since my shitty abusive ex. And no, I’m not counting those few I found online that I stupidly got my hopes up about… only to be disappointed and alone. Totally not salty. Because I can’t be. I can’t ruin this for them. Or bother them with it. I’m already a bother. They’re already so accepting of me, and so nice to me… I don’t want to ever bother them more than I already do. So for now, I’ll continue staring at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, making it look like I’m in my own little world, unable to hear them. They’ll stop eventually, then I’ll apologise like I always do, and then they can move on and I can go on… avoiding looking at my best friends in the world because they’re happy and I’m just… un… un… …Unloveable. Thankfully, as predicted, they moved on with their conversation and let me be, discussing a camping trip they were planning for later this year, sometime in late summer. No doubt I’d be invited, but honestly… I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go. Not on my own anyway. It’ll just be the same as these events, they all get super romantic and couple-y… and I’m left on my own… with no dance partner to dance with. That’s all I want in life. Or in my case, un-life. In my long un-life as a vampire, I’ve dated, I’ve found partners… but none of them lasted. At first I tried to protect my humanity, focusing on dating only humans. But the ones who know about our supernatural world aren’t all amazing allies, the few I did try dating early on in my vampiric life… were only out to get turned. They had been familiars of other vampires, and since vampires like to promise to turn them but end up never doing it… they seek outside sources. So of course they all used me to get turned… At least I realised after the first one that I was being played, so that quickly stopped and I moved away from dating humans altogether. Instead I focused on our own community. But this was at the start of the last century… so it was a bit more difficult to find someone. Much smaller dating pools. I tried dating a couple of vanillas… but they freaked out and ran when I started being myself, my more… infantile self… At the time, I wasn’t even aware of this kink I have, or my little side, I just tried dating someone who was a bit more serious than me, and looking back now… yeah, they were vanilla. So I gave up dating monstrum too, well… vanilla ones (though again, didn’t realise until later that they were known as ‘vanilla’, I just didn’t want to date anyone overly serious who couldn’t stand my childishness). Which limited my dating pool even further, as it was shortly after this that I met my ex, the one I ran into again last year. That was a thing, she introduced me to this kink and the world of kink, that’s it. End of story. Nothing else to say. So I gave up dating again, even kinksters this time. For decades I had nothing… no one… at least no one who didn’t abuse me but let’s not talk about those two relationships just yet… then I met Beth. I thought I felt a spark between us… but that ended up just being a best friendship. I’m not complaining, I love Beth to bits, as I do all my friends… but I still wanted that bit extra. It hurt even more when I set her and her wife up together, before Susie had died and got resurrected as a zombie, but I knew they’d be a perfect match. I mean me and Bea had a very very brief thing, but we very quickly realised we weren’t really that into each other and were happier as friends. So around that period of my life I just stopped dating, focusing entirely on making friends… but that didn’t really get me anywhere either. I had Beth and Bea and that was about it. Eventually I’d meet Susie when I went to University, but I still didn’t date anyone. Then Grim and Abby came into my life and I moved in with them. And for the longest time, I’ve kept my sadness hidden inside me, trying to appear as strong as possible to all my friends, so as to not bring them down into my depression and my loneliness bubble. At this point I was sure I’d never find anyone. Nia and Victoria had this amazing backstory about them meeting and getting together. Demons, summonings, cults… I mean Vic even died for Nia, and Nia went to Hell for her… and that’s not even getting into her whole ‘being a fallen angel’ thing. Which I still can’t get over. Freakin’ angels! Susie and Beth too. Susie found out about Beth being a Witch, died, got resurrected, and then got hunted by Death. So Beth created this Sanctuary, a place where monstrum from all over can come for… well… Sanctuary. They can come here to hide out from hunters, they can come here after escaping abusive partners or after humans have found out about them. Or… they can just come for help regarding anything. And Susie and Beth will help them, no questions asked. Like… these two are made for each other, and I love it… but it also breaks my heart that I don’t have an awesome partner with an awesome backstory. Even Abby has her partners, who had both turned up for today’s littles event, both fussing over the very blushy little kitsune. They really treated the girl like their daughter, fussing over her and spoiling her and making sure she’s never wanting for anything. And from how I’ve heard Abby talk about them… she isn’t just using them for her money. Not that she’s that kind of person anyway, but she genuinely loves these two. So whilst she doesn’t have an awesome backstory full of death and sacrifice and love… she has TWO people loving her with all their heart. Why does she get two… when I get… no one. Even Grim is here with his Daddy, for the first time. Turns out his Daddy is very new to all this, and was very nervous about coming to an event, but Grimfang managed to convince his fellow werewolf boyfriend to attend today. They have this adorable story about how they met, sounding like they had met in a freaking romantic comedy. Like… Come on! Where’s my romantic comedy? Where’s my caregiver? Where’s my tale of defying Death for love? No… Instead I was stuck here, in this meaningless existence, slowly dwindling away day by day. It was a struggle to even eat, often my housemates would need to bring me… ‘sustenance’… from our ethical supplier, and pressure me to drink it. Because most days consisted of me getting out of bed (no, I know I’m a vampire, but only old school vamps sleep in coffins), going on my PC, playing games… then going to bed when the sun comes up again. I barely left my room, going back into my old ways, back to before I started opening up. Then Nia came into my life and gave me a little hope that maybe I’d find someone… so I put myself out there… only to be massively disappointed. Then her engagement happened and I got another boost in morale… but so far it isn’t going well. There just aren’t that many single Mummies out there, especially not monstrum ones. So I’ll just continue being alone. Feeling this hopelessness but keeping it bottled up insi… “Luce…” Nia said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my seat. Before I could respond, complain… or even react, she pulled me away from our little group in the corner, past some littles that were playing in the ballpit, past Medusa, who was colouring in a picture for her Mummy, and towards the plastic adult-sized playhouse in the far corner. She poked her head in, whilst still holding my hand, to check if it was clear, before turning around and smiling at me. “All clear! Come on, grumpy pants…” She said, pulling me into the playhouse and closing the big red plastic door. “Sit. Now!” I did as she said, and sat in the corner on my thickly padded butt, my red babydoll dress lifting slightly as I took my place, revealing the thick nappy between my very pale legs. Quickly fixing my dress, I adjusted myself so I was comfortable on the squishy play mat underneath me. “So… spill it.” Nia said, sitting opposite me and looking at me intensely. “Spill what? I can’t spill anything, I’ve got a baba…” I joked, trying to move away from the real reason we were in this playhouse right now. “Oi, I’m the one who makes snarky jokes. Stay in your lane, little vampling.” Nia grinned at me. “No, seriously, what’s up hun?” “What do you mean? Everything is fine!” I replied, putting on the best fake smile I could for my friend. “I know I’m still relatively new to emotions and people and everything… but I’m pretty sure I can spot when my best friend is down in the dumps about something. So spill it!” “I’m fine, I promise!” I lied again. “We’re not leaving this playhouse until you tell me what’s going on in that silly little mind of yours…” “Nothing… I…” “Sweetie… don’t you just want to… tell me… everything…?” Nia said, crawling over slowly, her padded hips swaying back and forth as her tail swished about, before she got to me. Lifting her hand, she placed it under my chin and lifted, so my eyes couldn’t break contact with hers. “Come on…” I could feel something stirring within me, as if I wanted to… no, as if I needed to do whatever she said… That’s when it clicked. “OI! NO USING SUCCUBUS POWERS!” I yelled at her, maybe a little too loudly. She instantly threw off this sultry persona and sat back on her padded butt, pouting with her arms crossed in front of me. “Fine! But you have to tell me. It’s in the best friend's rules.” “I… fine. I… I’m just… I’m lonely.” “But we’re all here, having fun! All your friends!” She argued. “Not that way… I’m very thankful for you all… but seeing you…” “Oh.” Nia’s face dropped and she quickly hid her engagement ring with her other hand. “Seeing us all with our caregivers… with partners… Oh hun, I’m sorry…” “Yeah… got it in one.” I sighed. “Sweetie, it’s just a matter of time. You’ll find someone. And I bet they’re gonna be the bestest Mummy ever, making you happier than ever.” “I thought that with my ex…” “Yes, and that was a lesson that will allow you to sense people who are wrong for you from now on. Trust me, your time is soon. Just… keep a little bit of hope, please?” “I… can’t promise…” “Where are you looking these days? I thought you were putting yourself out there again? What about that human you were dating when I first met you?” “Didn’t work out, she ghosted me. And I tried a website for monstrum. That didn’t work out either. People were vampire chasers. Or… the other kind of chaser…” I said, rolling my eyes in disgust. “Oh? OH… eww…” Nia said as she finally understood just what I meant. “Fuck them. That doesn’t bother me. You’re just this really fuckin cool chick who is also my best fuckin friend.” “You do realise that…?” “That Vic would tan my hide if she heard me using this language? Why do you think we’re hiding out in the playhouse? And even if she didn’t… Beatrice would…” “That I would pay to see…” I grinned. “OI! Don’t you start! You don’t know what it’s like to be spanked by that witch!” “No, because I’m a good girl.” My grin grew twice as big. “So am I!” Nia whined. “...Most of the time.” I giggled at my friend, who just pouted back at me again. “Why… Why don’t you try dating humans again? Or maybe ask Beth if there are any other dating websites for us lot?” “I tried dating humans. It’s… not good.” “And humans have changed a lot in the billion years since you got turned into a vampire…” “I’m not that old! You’re way older than me, Miss ‘I’m actually an angel from the dawn of time’.” “Yeah but… for someone so old, I look hot.” She said, posing in a seductive way as a joke. “Agreed.” I said, sticking my tongue out at her and smiling. “Why don’t you try it? For me? Please? I hate to see you so lonely.” “Sorry…” “No! No more apologising! This isn’t your fault, silly girl. Just find a dating website, make a profile, put yourself out there. No, in fact… ten dating websites. We’re gonna find you a Mama, no matter what it takes! Why not try finding a vanilla person and introducing them to this?” I loved Nia’s optimism. It… was actually infectious. I could feel that drive to put myself out there again… and it scared me. But a small part of me was excited that maybe… just maybe… …I’d find someone. ======================================================= So... new story! New perspective! More evil cliffhangers await! I hope you enjoyed this, and continue to enjoy it as the story progresses. I put a lot of emotion into this story, as you can probably tell, and a lot more of myself into some of the characters. But don't worry, there will be a lot of fun too! -------------------------------------------- Thinking of finally opening up short story commissions now too finally, now that my writers block seems to have subsided. If you haven't seen, I'm now up and running on Subscribestar! (Sorry for the reminder again, trying to get my subscribers back after the Patreon rubbish!) ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

After being diapered off and on basically my entire life and missing the days where I'd frequently wet the bed when I was a kid, I decided to just start wearing and using premium diapers 24-7 in December 2023. I also recently started following the 12 month diaper training guide that gets mentioned here quite often and now in April 2024 I'm proud to say that I'm wetting frequently with strong sudden urges but not much comes out and also dribbling involuntarily post void. I also woke up to a wet bed last night without remembering peeing for the first time in many years and I couldn't be more proud of myself. This stage seemed to come recently and out of nowhere for me after only feeling like I needed to pee sooner than before and that was it for a long time. I'd wake up needing to pee, frustrated that my body woke itself up to do so, peed myself then went back to sleep. This is finally starting to change. So don't get discouraged or frustrated if you're trying to accomplish the same thing I have. Be patient, stay hydrated and wet yourself no matter what as soon as you feel the urge to pee. You have to act like you don't have any choice. It's a mental barrier that you must break because we were trained at a very young age that it's not okay to pee yourself. Tell yourself that it is okay even if you think you might leak. I'm Looking forward to continuing down this path and I'm looking forward to the point of no return. To those that think that it isn't possible to make yourself incontinent, my nose and sheets are saying otherwise right now...

Sorry for the delay again. I guess I should not write checks that I can't cash when it comes to self-imposed deadlines on posting chapters that I have not even begun to write yet. I probably should have said in my first post for this story that there will be some strong language in this story at times. If I had to give this story a TV rating overall, it would be TV-M for language. Other than that, I would consider it SFW. Chapter 7 I woke the next morning to Rachael asking if I needed more morphine. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I nod yes. Rachael injected me with the syringe of morphine, and another syringe of the nausea medicine, and started my feeding tube. I turn to my left to see that both my parents are already here. My attention snaps back to Rachael saying, “Will, you have a busy day ahead of you, let’s go ahead and get you weighed and measured.” “OK,” I said. I started to slowly get out of bed and my dad was already by my side to get my I.V. situated and helped me to my feet. I felt a weakness in my legs and was struggling to move this morning more than in the past few days. My mom, seeing me struggle, asked, “Will, how do you feel this morning?” I said, “I just feel really tired and weak.” “I'm sorry you feel so bad, hopefully, the doctors at the Mayo Clinic will help you get better soon,” my Mom said. “I hope so too,” I said. We made our way to the nurse station and Rachael weighed and measured me. Before my dad could ask Rachael said, “Alright Will, you weigh a 112 pounds and are 5 foot 4 and ½ inches tall this morning;” pausing for a second, she said, “We should be getting you ready for transport in the next hour or two. I will come check on you in a little bit to flush your feeding tube and get you ready.” I slowly make it to my room with my parents on either side of me. I gingerly get back into bed as my mom plugs my I.V. pump back in for me. My mom turned to me and asked, “I was going to pack up all your belongings to bring to the Mayo Clinic with us so you don’t have to worry about it while being transported there. Is there anything other than your backpack and toiletries that I am missing?” “Besides my stuff on the table, that is everything,” I said. She said, “OK, I will make sure I have everything to bring to the other hospital for you.” I said, “Thanks, I'm going to go ahead and brush my teeth before you pack everything up.” I got back out of bed as my mom unplugged the I.V. pump again for me and slowly made my way into the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and as I was brushing my teeth, I noticed that my nails were very long. Looking in my toiletry bag, I found my nail clippers and was able to get my nails down to a manageable length. I sat on the toilet seat, pulled my socks out, and saw that my toenails were in need of trimming too, and decided to trim them while I was at it. I came back out of the bathroom to my mom waiting to help me back into bed. Once getting settled in bed I watched as my mom started packing all my belongings up. My dad then spoke up saying, “Will, is there anything in particular that you want to watch on TV?” “No, not really,” I said. My dad then said, “Sports Center it is then.” I lay in bed half-heartedly watching TV and dozing in and out of consciousness. Sometime later, I was alerted to Rachael walking into the room. “Alright Will, I’m going to flush your feeding tube and disconnect your I.V. to make it easier for being transported to the Mayo Clinic,” Rachael said. I nodded and watched her flush my feeding tube, disconnect my I.V., and throw everything away. Rachael then said, “Someone should be here soon to bring you downstairs to an ambulance for transport.” I said, “OK” “Will, I hope they find out what is going on and you get better soon,” Rachael said. “Me too, sorry about the whole bathroom and pain medicine incident the other day,” I said. In a serious voice, Rachael said, “Will, that was nothing to be embarrassed about, I have to deal with a lot worse and would not be a nurse if I could not handle it.” I said, “OK, thanks for looking after me.” “Certainly Will,” Rachael said with a smile. My mom then chimed in, ”Thank you, Rachael.” “No problem, I hope you all have a better week this week than last,” Rachael said. Around 15 minutes after Rachael left, an orderly came into my room pushing a wheelchair. He asked, “Are you William Gauss?” I said, “Yes.” “OK, I’m here to bring you downstairs for transport,” he said. I nodded and slowly started getting out of bed. My parents were already up and by my side. My dad hugged me and said, “We should be at the Mayo Clinic shortly after you get there. I love you.” My mom then hugged me and with a kiss on the cheek said, “I love you, sweetheart, we will see you in a little bit.” As I was sitting down in the wheelchair I said, “I love y’all too.” My parents both waved to me as I was being wheeled out of the room. The orderly wheeled to the elevator and we rode it down to the ground floor. He then pushed through the back of the emergency department to what looked like an exit. Waiting for me at the exit was a stretcher and a tall paramedic wearing a dark blue uniform with EMS patches on the shoulders of his sleeves. As the wheelchair came to a stop he said, “You must be William Gauss, my name is Matt and I will be your ride to the Mayo Clinic.” I nodded and he and the orderly helped me out of the wheelchair and onto the stretcher. As the orderly was leaving, Matt turned to me and said, “I’m going to strap you down so we don’t have to worry about you falling off the stretcher during transport.” I nodded and Matt processed to run a strap over my sternum, my waist, and then my thighs. Matt then said, “You're all set, let's get you loaded up for transport.” He pushed me through the double doors and out into the bright Arizona sun. As my eyes adjust to the harsh light, I see the ambulance parked about 30 feet from the doors and a short Latino man also wearing a paramedic uniform walking towards us. As he met up with us he said, “My name is Ernesto and I will be your driver today.” They both loaded the stretcher into the back of the ambulance and as it was pushed all the way in I could hear and feel what must have been it locking into place. As Matt was getting into the back to sit beside me, Ernesto said, “We should have you at the Mayo Clinic in about 30 minutes, if you need anything let Matt know.” He closed the back doors and a few seconds later I could hear what must have been the front driver door opening and closing. Moments later I could feel the ambulance start moving forward. Matt turned to me and said, “Do you prefer to go by William or Will?” I said, “Will is fine.” “Alright Will, just relax and we will have you there in no time,” he said. Nodding, I relaxed my body against the restraints and let my mind wander as I felt the movement of the ambulance and the sound of the tires against the road. Sometime later, I felt the one thing that I didn’t want to feel on this trip, I had to poop. Thinking to myself ‘CRAP!’ as I turned my head to Matt. I asked, “How much longer until we get to the Mayo Clinic?” Matt said, “About 10 more minutes, is there something wrong?” “I have to go to the bathroom really bad,” I said. Matt then said, “Try and hold it if you can but if you have an accident it will be OK.” I nodded but turned my full attention to holding back my bowels. The minutes seemed to drag on as I put all of my energy into clenching my butt cheeks together. I felt the ambulance turn and with that motion, some poop slipped out; moments later the battle was lost as I felt my body force the rest of my bowels out. I could feel it spread out all over my bottom, moving up my lower back, forward in my underwear covering my genitals, and down my thighs. I turned to Matt with flushed cheeks and said, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold it.” Matt gently placed his hand on my shoulder and with a look of concern and pity, he said, “It’s OK Will, as soon as we get to the hospital, we will help you get cleaned up.” I nodded but looked away in shame, as I lay in what felt like a gallon of pluff mud and smelled like a paper mill. A couple of minutes later, I felt the ambulance come to a stop, and moments later, Ernesto was opening the back doors. Matt hopped out the back and they both pulled the stretcher out of the back of the ambulance. Matt took over and quickly pushed me into what I imagine is the ambulance entrance to the emergency room at the Mayo Clinic. As we make our way through the double doors into a hallway, we are met with an average-height Latino woman with shoulder-length hair, in gray scrubs. With a smile, she approached us and said, “You must be William, my name is Rosie and I will be your nurse.” I just nodded and looked down at my lap. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Matt gesture to Rosie and they both stepped away to have a quiet conversation. A few moments later, Rosie walked back up to me and said, “OK Will, Matt, and I are going to take you straight to your room on the stretcher, once there, I will help you out of your clothes so you can take a shower.” I just nodded and continued to look at my lap. A second later, Matt was pushing the stretcher and following Rosie down the hallways. After a few turns and trying my best to avoid eye contact with passers-by, we arrived at an elevator. We got on the elevator and luckily it was only the three of us, but in the enclosed space, the smell was back with a vengeance. A minute later we were off the elevator and going down another hallway. After passing what I assume is a nurse’s station, I was wheeled into a room. Matt immediately started undoing the straps, while I saw Rosie place what looked to be a large incontinence bed pad on the floor beside the stretcher. Rosie and Matt then helped me off the stretcher to stand on top of the pad. Rosie said, “Matt, at the nurse’s station, is cleaning supplies and you can throw the fitted sheet away there.” Matt said, “OK, Will, I hope you feel better soon.” Matt rolled the stretcher back out of the room and shut the door behind him. Rosie then turned to me and said, “Will, your clothes are a lost cause so I’m going to cut them off of you and then help with a rough cleanup before letting you take a shower.” In a quiet voice, I said, “OK.” Rosie took some scissors out of her pocket and then cut the pants leg of my sweatpants from the waistband all the way down to the cuff. My pants were discarded in a pile between my legs and then she did the same with my underwear. She grabbed a bunch of large wet wipes and then began to wipe down my back, butt, legs, and embarrassingly my genitals too. She let my hospital gown fall back to my knees again and then said, “Let's go into the bathroom so that you can get into the shower.” I followed Rosie into the bathroom with flushed cheeks and she started the shower, then said, “Alright Will, there is soap and shampoo in the shower already, towels and washcloths are right here,” pointing to the towel rack beside the shower, “you can leave your gown on the floor and I will have another gown and socks for you on the counter waiting for you by the time you are done.” I nodded with my cheek still flushed from what was one of the most embarrassing moments of my adult life. Rosie walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. I immediately stripped out of the gown and threw it on the floor, then pulled my socks off and threw them on top of the gown. Testing the water with my right hand, I stepped into the shower once the temperature was warm enough. I let the water cascade down my body as I watch as slightly brown water goes down the drain. Once the water was relatively clear, I took a washcloth and soap and scrubbed my body thoroughly from the neck down. Once the soap was rinsed off, I turned the water off and grabbed a towel to dry off. Stepping out of the shower, I see that Rosie has left the new gown and socks on the counter. I put the gown on and struggled to tie the ties in the back. After finally getting the gown on right, I sit on the toilet seat lid to put on my socks. I stepped out of the bathroom to see that my parents made it here. My dad walked up to me with a pair of folded pajama bottoms and underwear, and said, “Well, I always said you were full of crap when you were a teenager, but I never meant literally.” My mom quickly shouted, “George!” Smiling at my dad trying to make light of an embarrassing situation, I said, “I'm surprised that my eyes haven’t turned brown yet.” With a chuckle, he handed me the pajamas and underwear, and I turned back around to head into the bathroom. Closing the door, I slipped on the underwear and as I was trying to guide my feet into the pajamas, I lost my balance. Like a sack of potatoes, I landed straight on my left shoulder and yelled out in pain, “MOTHERFUCKER!” As I am lying on the floor in pain, my dad comes rushing into the bathroom. “Will, are you alright!” my dad said in a scared voice. In an angry voice, I said, “Yeah, I just lost my damn balance trying to get dressed.” “Let me help you and get you into bed,” my dad said. My dad then put a hand under each of my armpits and lifted me from the floor to my feet. He then helped me pull my pajama bottoms up to my waist. We walked out of the bathroom with my dad having one of his arms wrapped around my torso, guiding me to the bed. Looking at the bed, I see that the covers are pulled back and there is an incontinence pad lying over the fitted sheet. Thinking to myself, ‘I guess they don’t want to chance it after my grand entrance,’ I get into bed and pull the covers over me, hearing a slight crinkle from the pad as I shift around to get comfortable. I looked around the hospital room and saw that it was not much different than the room at St. Luke’s. The room is a little bigger, and there is a couch that is up against the windows to my left, a recliner directly to my left that my mom is sitting in, and a straight-back chair to my right. As my dad was taking a seat on the couch, my mom said to me, “Will, I know you are not having a good day today. I just wanted to let you know that I called the math department and spoke to someone named Amy. I let her know what was going on and that you were at the Mayo Clinic. She said that she would talk to all your professors and let them know. She also told me not to worry about your assistantship either. Depending on how long it takes for you to get better, she said that we could do a medical withdrawal and you can return either this summer or fall if need be.” With a sigh of relief, I said, “OK,” pausing for a second, I asked, “What are you doing about work?” “I’m taking PTO right now, but if I have to, I can file for FMLA and get up to 12 weeks off. But don’t worry about me and since your father retired early last year, we plan on staying here until you are better. I already got Stanley to check on the house for us and get the mail. Just worry about you right now. OK,” my mom said. “OK,” I said. A few minutes later, Rosie walked in carrying a bag of fluids, a bag for my feeding tube, and a couple of syringes. Setting everything down on a small table to my left, she said, “Will, I’m going to start your noon feeding and start you back on fluids. How are your pain levels right now?” “The morphine is starting to wear off and it probably doesn’t help that I fell on my shoulder early,” I said. With a look of concern, she said, “You fell, what were you doing to fall?” I said, “I was trying to get dressed and lost my balance.” She then said, “I will be right back,” and walked out of the room. A minute later, Rosie was walking back in. “Will, with you falling earlier, I am going to have to classify you as a fall-risk patient. Can I see your left hand?” I held out my left hand and Rosie put a bright yellow plastic bracelet around my wrist with the words ‘FALL RISK’ written boldly on it. Rosie then said, “Please make sure someone is with you anytime you need to get out of bed. If your parents are not here, please press the call button and someone will be here as soon as possible.” I said, “OK.” Rosie then turned to my parents and said, “Please make sure you help Will with getting dressed, or me or another nurse could help. We do not want him to get hurt.” My mom responded, “Of course, his father will help from now on.” Rosie turned her attention back to the table of supplies and started to hang the I.V. fluid bag and feeding bag. She hooked the fluids to my I.V. and connected the feeding bag to my feeding tube. She then took the two syringes and injected them into my I.V. After throwing the two empty syringes away, Rosie said, “Your team of doctors should be seeing you in a couple of hours. Let me know if you need anything in the meantime.” On that note she walked out of the room and with the morphine taking full effect, I fell asleep. I woke up to my mom lightly shaking my shoulder and saying, “The doctors are here to see you.” I look at the foot of my bed and see three doctors. The first one is a woman who looks to be in her late thirties with long blonde hair and blue eyes. The second doctor is a tall man in his early forties, that looks to be Indian with short black hair and brown eyes. The third doctor is a short man with balding brown hair and brown eyes, that looks to be in his fifties. The Indian doctor spoke first and said, “I’m Dr. Kutner and I specialize in diagnostic medicine.” Pointing to the woman on his right, he said, “This is Dr. Cameron and she specializes in autoimmune diseases.” Pointing to the man on his left, he said, “And this is Dr. Taub and he specializes in genetics.” Dr. Cameron then asked, “Will, we have been reviewing your case and would like for you to go over your symptoms with us again.” I then spend the next ten minutes going over all my symptoms and what has happened to me over the past week. Dr. Kutner then said, “I'm going to do a physical exam of you, is that alright?” I said, “Sure.” He proceeded to listen to my heart and lungs and poke and prod all over my body. At the same time, Dr. Taub turned to my parents and said, “You all must be Will’s parents?” My mom responded, “Yes I’m Elana, and this is his father, George.” Dr. Taub said, “I wish we could be meeting under better circumstances, but it is nice to meet you all.” Dr. Kutner, now finishing his exam, stepped back and said, “Will, I not seeing anything abnormal in your physical exam and your lymph nodes feel normal which confirms that we are still most likely not dealing with an infection.” My dad asked, “What is the plan for figuring this out?” Dr. Kutner said, “We plan on drawing some blood samples today to begin running tests. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for Will. He will have a full body CT scan and X-ray done, to see if anything changed since his last. He will also have an MRI of some key areas of his body and I will be performing a biopsy on a few of his joints tomorrow afternoon.” Dr. Cameron followed up with, “With the blood samples, I will start looking at other types of autoimmune diseases that Dr. Wilson could have missed and with tomorrow's tests, could shed light on which direction we should be looking in.” “With one of the blood samples, I will start sequencing Will’s DNA, and see if there are any genetic abnormalities that pop up. Hopefully, if there is anything to find, we can find it quickly, but with how large the human genome is, it could take some time,” Dr Taub said. “I will be supporting both Dr. Cameron and Dr. Taub, but I also will be exploring other avenues in trying to diagnose what is causing your symptoms. Do you have any questions?” Dr. Kutner said. I said, “No.” “Get some rest, Will, we will see you tomorrow,” Dr. Kutner replied. As they were walking out of my room, my mom said, “I feel better already after meeting the doctors.” My dad then said, “Yeah, it seems like they have a game plan together and are attacking this from all angles. How do you feel, Will?” I said, “Better, I still hope they figure this out quickly.” A moment later Rosie walked in carrying a caddy of empty vials, and what looked to be a needle and tourniquet. Walking over to the right side of my bed, she sat the caddy on the bed beside me and said, “Will, it seems that the doctors want a lot of blood samples, I’m going to draw blood from your right arm, OK.” I nodded and held out my arm and Rosie tied the tourniquet around my upper arm and began to draw vial after vial until the whole caddy was full of blood samples. After throwing the used needle and tourniquet away, Rosie said, “That should be the last of the blood samples that they would need today. I will be back at 6 to start the last of your feeding for the day and give you more morphine if you need it. Let me know if you need anything else before then.” Rosie walked out of my room with the caddy in hand and it did not take me long to fall back asleep. I woke up twice before the night, one to go to the bathroom with the help of my dad, and the other to get more morphine and the last feeding of the day. I fell back to sleep shortly after getting the morphine. I woke up to it being dark outside and my joints screaming in agony.

Hi guys! I have kind of a weird question. Does anybody miss when they were little and their Mommy or Daddy could just lift their legs up with one hand and wipe their bottom and then slide a new diaper underneath their bottom during a diaper change and tape it up nice and tight afterwards? I've come to realize that the older I've gotten, the more I miss little things like that. That must be me channeling my inner 11 month old baby. So I'm curious, Does anybody feel the same way?

Chapter 23: The Little That I Know Three Years Ago I now knew for certain that there were no pull-ups or diapers in the house. All I had managed to find were a bunch of Jackson's old baby items, but pacifiers and bottles held no interest for me. I may have wanted to wear diapers, but I didn't have the slightest interest in behaving like or being treated as a baby. There was so much that I didn't know and very few means of attaining the information that I sought. My fixation on pull-ups ebbed and flowed for the following year after I first learned about those bedwetting pull-ups from my cousins. It wasn't as though there was any point where I didn't want to try to wear one, but without any actual ability to do so, the desire would fade out of mind for weeks or months at a time until something would occur to spark those urges again. I would catch a glimpse of an advertisement for diapers on the TV or in a newspaper. I would be at the park when a toddler would run by with the waistband of a pull-up clearly sticking out the top of their shorts. I would overhear some of my mom's friends talking about struggles they had with getting their toddlers to potty train. And then my mind would be back at it again, fruitlessly searching for information until I once again gave up hope of ever getting my hands on pull-ups of my own. <><><> My mom kept me close at hand when we went shopping for groceries. Jackson was still young enough to sit in the cart, facing Mom as she pushed it down most – but not all – of the aisles in the grocery store. To my dismay, there were a number of aisles that we never seemed to go by anymore, ones that I wished I had paid more attention to previously but that had been before I had known what I wanted to look for. Slipping off to check out the baby aisle was never an option. Mom preferred that I stay within arm's reach of her at all times. I had to make do with attempting to discreetly peek down the baby aisle as we went by, taking in its distinct scents. But it was hard to make out much from a distance. There were so many brands and styles, and I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking for. That changed one day right at the end of summer break, several months since my interest in pull-ups had begun. One of my mom's co-workers was having a baby shower for her first baby, which she was expecting in a couple of months, and Mom needed to pick out some diapers and wipes as a present. I found myself standing smack dab in the middle of the diaper section of the baby aisle, completely overwhelmed by all the options, brands, and styles. All the bright colors and smells made it hard to concentrate on what I was looking for. I needed to find something that was meant for older kids my age, not toddlers or preschoolers. There were regular diapers and pull-ups and ones that seemed to be a mix of the two. On a few of the other packages where information about the sizing was available, it was again clear that none of the products were remotely close to my size, as if that wasn't clear from the age of the models on the front of the packages. I began to wonder if that scene with my cousins a few months back had actually been real. Could it have just been something that I dreamed up in the boredom of that vacation? Then I saw a package. There was a picture of a sleeping girl on it, more than old enough to be my age. Could that be it? But then I saw the phrase "nighttime underwear" beneath the brand name. That didn't make any sense to me. Why would they be selling underwear for girls in the baby aisle? That was just plain silly. "Maddy," Mom said. "You need to keep up with us." While I wanted to see if there was any other information to glean from the package, I didn't have any choice but to obey Mom as I turned around and dashed ahead to catch up to her shopping cart. What exactly did that package mean by "nighttime underwear," and why was it located in the baby aisle close to all the diapers and pull-ups? It would be a long time before I walked through the baby aisle again. <><><> An indoor water park in the winter made for a perfect vacation. Grace was busy lying on her stomach on one of the poolside chairs. Teenagers were weird. It wasn't like she could catch a tan inside. Mom was at least reading a book while reclining in her chair. Dad was munching on some snacks, keeping an eye on Jackson and me from off in the distance. I was playing with Jackson in the kiddie pool. The warm water only came up to our ankles, but there were tons of fountains, sprinklers, slides, and water toys to play with. Above us was a bucket connected to a swivel. It gradually filled with water before tipping over and emptying its contents onto whoever might be unlucky enough to be standing beneath it at the time. Jackson found the idea hilarious. Though for him it was more amusing when the bucket of water was dropping down on my head rather than his. I knew better than to look up to try to see if the bucket was close to overflowing. I had made that mistake once and wasn't interested in making it again. At this point, my hair was already thoroughly soaked, so there was no use in fussing over yet another bucket of water pouring over it again. The small clang the bucket made as it began to tip was the only warning I got. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth as the warm water – at least it was warm water – poured over my head. I opened my eyes to the sight of Jackson giggling and pointing at me like a maniac. "OK, it's your turn now," I said. I stepped away from the spot under the basket and motion for Jackson to take my place. It seemed to take the bucket a little under a minute to refill before soaking its next victim. But my eyes drifted away from Jackson. Her top was a normal swimsuit, but around her waist was an uncovered swim diaper, blue with a picture of a mermaid on it. It was absolutely mesmerizing. Jackson yelled at me to pay attention to him, and when I looked again in the direction the girl had run off in, I had lost sight of her. I knew that I wouldn't fit in a swim diaper made for a baby, but the site of the swim diaper still stirred up that longing that had gotten tucked away for a couple of months. Since that disappointing trip through the baby aisle, my interest in diapers had dropped off. With diapers on my mind again, I couldn't help but notice them everywhere I went at the water park, and over the course of the long weekend, I spent much more time playing with Jackson than I normally would have, much to the delight of Grace and my parents. It wasn't so much that I cared to spend time around my brother, but being in the kiddie pool gave me a chance to catch glimpses of diapered kids as they splashed around in the water, wishing all the while that it was me who was wearing those diapers and pull-ups instead. <><><> I learned not to leave the room during commercial breaks. I didn't care much about the cartoon show that my brother was watching on TV. I found it difficult to concentrate on my book with all of that background noise. Ever since coming home from the water park vacation, I had been obsessed with learning as much as I could about pull-ups and diapers, and I had discovered an easy way to do so. I endured the annoying shows my younger brother watched for one, and only one, reason. The programs geared toward kids his age often featured advertisements for pull-ups and diapers. I had become familiar with the names of all the brands and the different types of pull-ups and diapers they would sell, and all the new features they were constantly adding. I peeked at the TV over the top of the book I was reading. A new commercial break had just begun. The first two advertisements were disappointments. The first was for a cereal brand I absolutely detested. The second was for baby formula. A few commercial breaks had passed by already without any of the advertisements I had been looking for, and I was beginning to wish I had just spent the morning reading in my room instead when the next ad caught my eye. One of the brands I was familiar with was advertising a new type of pull-up. A boy and a girl around Jackson's age were both going through the routine of getting ready for bed with their parent's assistance. There was the familiar scene of the closeup shot of them sliding the pull-up over their waists. And then the lights went out, and the designs on the pull-ups were glowing in the dark. But I knew by now not to get my hopes up. The kids in the advertisement were Jackson's age. No matter how cool those pull-ups looked, they weren't for me, either. The ad continued by showing how to activate the pull-ups first by holding them under a light. The advertisement was over all too soon, and Jackson's show resumed. But instead of turning back to my book, I thought over again about what I had just seen. This didn't confirm that the pull-ups I remembered my cousins' wearing were real, but it did confirm one important detail. There were pull-ups made specifically for use during the night. I wondered again about the brand of nighttime underwear that I had seen in the diaper aisle nearly half a year ago. There was a word I had learned in class the other day. It was really long, and I didn't think I'd ever be able to remember how to spell it. The concept of the word – euphemism – was also hard to grasp, and the idea that a word might not mean what it actually meant was simply too confusing. It didn't seem right. It was so much easier when people simply said exactly what they meant, rather than the opposite of it. But it was like a lightbulb had gone off in my head. Could nighttime underwear actually mean something entirely else? I tried to recall the name of the brand I had seen that day in the baby aisle. It took several minutes for it to come back to me. I had to recite the alphabet silently in my head several times before I remembered it. I whispered the name of the brand silently to myself over and over again, like a mantra. With the name of what I was looking for now in mind, I kept my eyes peeled for any glimpse of it, but several more months passed by without any additional luck. I managed to catch a glimpse or two – or at least thought I had – of the packages of so-called nighttime underwear in the baby aisle. But that was only for seconds and from a long distance, so I wasn't able to glean any more information than from the time I had spent first looking at it. My remaining options were highly limited. There was absolutely no scenario in which I would look up that brand on the family computer or tablet. I couldn't have my parents question why I was seeking out that information. I knew instinctively that they would not approve of this quest. There was no way that query would escape Dad's notice, and I had no desire for the questions that would surely follow. And despite my continued vigilance in watching ads on the TV, I never managed to come across one for that nighttime underwear. <><><> About a year had passed now since the day I had worn pull-ups My biggest fear was that I was growing. I was quite a few inches taller than a year before. I wanted to believe that they made pull-ups for teenagers, but without any direct evidence to confirm that, my worry was that I would eventually get my hands on the bedwetting pull-ups, only to find that I had done so too later and would no longer be able to fit into them. I was once again on the alert for any information I could find about that nighttime underwear brand. It was a week after my tenth birthday. To celebrate, I had gone with Emma and Angie to an indoor trampoline park. I had put the thought of those pull-ups out of my mind for a while, as I hadn't recently come across any new information. The allure of the TV advertisements had faded. It was just the same old information re-packaged in different ways. Yes, I would still look up at the TV at the familiar sound of certain jingles, but I no longer went out of the way to stay in the living room as Jackson watched the TV. The smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies wafted upward through the air and to the second floor of the house. I followed the irresistible scent downstairs as it grew stronger and stronger until I came across a bunch of cookies spread out on old pages of yesterday's newspaper on the dining room table. To my disappointment, my parents only got the newspaper on Sunday. Mom said the only reasons she got it at all was for the advertisements that came tucked inside it, though all I cared about was pulling out the comics section from the middle, often wishing that I would be able to get the comics from the middle of the week as well. Mom was in the kitchen, putting one final batch of cookies in the oven. She gave me permission to eat two – and only two – cookies. I stared down at the newspaper pages as I tried to determine which two cookies were the biggest. None of the newspaper articles carried any interest to me. Reading the news was something that adults did. However, the newspaper pages also included a section with advertisements for the local grocery store that Mom preferred to shop at. There were ads for a variety of baby products. I glanced over at them, not really expecting to learn anything that I already didn't know. There were headings for different products that were on sale: wipes, formula, diapers, and pull-ups. I turned my attention to the images in the pull-up sections, which, according to the ad, were on sale for fifteen percent off this week. And there it was. The picture was tiny, but unmistakable. It was the same package of nighttime underwear that I had come across so long ago in the grocery store. And there was no mistaking what it actually was. It couldn't have been an accident that it had been listed in the pull-ups section. I squinted down at the newspaper as I removed a couple of cookies and put them on my plate. There was some tiny writing on the package, but it was indecipherable with how small the picture was. The text next to the advertisement said that the sale included small through extra-large sizes, but I knew better than to let that phrase get my hopes up. I had seen a couple of ads for extra-large pull-ups before, only to find that this just meant they were for preschool-age kids and not toddlers. I poured myself a glass of milk in the kitchen and slowly ate my cookie while considering this new revelation. I realized that the most important thing I had learned wasn't that these nighttime underwear were actually pull-ups. That was a discovery I had made on my own a few months back. No, what I realized was that there was another potential untapped source of information about these pull-ups. From then on, I made sure to skim through all the advertisements in the newspaper. These special bedwetting pull-ups didn't show up often, but each time they did, the same problem remained as before. The information contained in the ads was minimal, with nothing to suggest whether I would still be able to fit into these pull-ups or if I had already outgrown them in the past year. There wasn't any information about the weight ranges or clothing sizes that the pull-ups would fit. But with the confirmation that these pull-ups existed, I found it impossible to put the topic out of my mind. After that moment, not a single day passed where I didn't think about what it would be like to be wearing a pull-up once again. But actually getting my hands on one of those pull-ups seemed like an impossibility for the time being. It wasn't likely that I would be visiting those cousins anytime again soon, and I didn't know of a single other kid my age who was a bedwetter. It was time to take matters into my own hands. If I couldn't get a diaper of my own, perhaps I could make one for myself. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Not since I bought the ball gag.

You've answered your own question: Burning “good” in the pursuit of “better” is a risky strategy 🤣 In my more cynical moments (and my baseline level of cynicism is fairly high to being with) I suspect that the secret to a successful marriage is low expectations. Whilst I myself know for a fact that I am a tungsten monument to perfection 🤣, I accept that my befuddled beloved may misconstrue her bedazzlement at my wonder as flaws on my part and yet she (largely) overlooks them. For my part, I’ve learned to accept that there are aspects to her that will simply never, ever improve. For example, irrespective of lecture, learnings or lived experience, she has zero mechanical sympathy for any device that she uses and consequentially is continually breaking stuff (cue the standard disclaimers: “It just fell off”, “It was like that when I found it” and “Why does everything bad that happens have to be my fault?”) We put up with each other’s imperfections and look at the relationship in terms of its overall balance sheet. If we’d expected an uninterrupted “hearts and flowers” frolic through a field of perpetual nirvana-like state of bliss the union would have carked it on the first rubbish bin night. The nappies are a huge number in the "debit" column however. She’ll trash a washing machine and a mattress every year and nymphomania sounds like a lot of work to me 🤣 Well it's a bit better if you're not the only idiot on the special bus to crazy town 🤣 I'm trying very hard not to regret it but my beloved has other ideas.

Chapter 109: Throw “YEAH? I NEEDED to get back here in time?” I said, feeling exposed and embarrassed in front of my former nest mother right then. “Well, you’re here, and I’m in luck that I get to change a much prettier Little than I usually do!” She picked me up before I could warn her about me probably leaking but quickly carried me to a small changing room on the first floor I didn’t know existed. She used one hand to unfold a disposable changing pad. She placed it on the metal changing table and laid me on it. “You soaked through your onesie and skirt,” she said as she flipped it up. “Here, sit up for a second,” she told me. I rolled upward, and a second later, she pulled the jumper over my head and then the onesie to leave me only in the sagging and soaked diaper. “Umm… what am I going to wear?” I asked her nervously. “Don’t worry, we keep a few spare things in here for this type of emergency,” she assured me. “Let’s get you out of that soggy diapee first, though!” I really felt that Lilly did a better job of changing my diapers. However, Mackenzie was still better than several changers I’d had. She was gentle, wiped me thoroughly, and dressed me in a spare diaper from my backpack. “You don’t have a spare outfit in there, do you?” I blushed, “I used it this week already?” “That’s fine, we’ll just use a spare shirt here,” she told me. I watched her dig through a bin for a moment before coming out with what looked like a simple pink sweater at first. Once she pulled it over my head, I realized the arms had several rows of ruffles by the wrist. Even with the top being too large, it barely covered much more than the top of my diaper! “Sorry, no leggings or pants; we’ll just have to get you up to your nest. You’re wearing a diaper anyway,” Mackenzie told me as if that excused my nude legs! “Let’s just get up there quickly?” I asked. She smiled, picked me up, bounced me up and down, and then carried me out of the room. The temperature in the lobby area felt like it dropped thirty degrees from an open door to the outside. Several other Littles were coming from a common area on the first floor then and seemed to all stare for a second before looking away. I blushed and felt like my face was probably as hot as the sun! Fortunately, the elevator trip, plus her long legs, had me to my new nest pretty quickly. “Hi Mackenzie! Did you catch a stray of mine?” “This fish wasn’t in the water, but I thought I’d bring her to you?” “Thanks! Looks like she had a wardrobe issue - what did you do with her wet clothes?” “Here,” she said, handing her a clear bag. “I almost just put them in the laundry chute, but since you kidnapped her from me, I figured we’d make sure they knew the clothes belonged to your nest.” Mackenzie hugged me, “It’s good to see you, Carly! I’ll make sure I get down here to see you some other time. Be good for Miss Lilly!” She placed me on the ground, patted my exposed diaper, and walked out. Lilly giggled at me, and I noticed Ava and Mia looked like they couldn’t decide whether to laugh at me or feel bad. For my part, I just walked to my stuff and found a pair of black leggings. It wasn’t worth changing the top in my mind when I’d be putting on pajamas in a little bit. I had to admit with leggings on to cover my bottom half, I was pretty comfortable since the borrowed top was really soft! I found myself working on homework and trying to get ready for one of my first tests that was coming up on HoloTheory the next day. I had a good, solid grasp of all of the material so far, but I wanted to review all of the new terms and jargon that were used in the class. By the time I’d also done some brief studying for my intelligence class and math, it was nearly three hours after I’d returned. I stood up to walk to find Lilly for a needed diaper change before calling it a night! BETH WAS BLUSHING as she entered the dorm. She quickly sucked her coat off so she didn’t have to worry about anyone wondering about it. She folded the wet spot inside after taking a quick sniff and noting there was a residue of Carly on it. She groaned, and Nikki gave her a little smirk as she traveled up the stairs to the dorm. “Why don’t I take your coat? I’ll wash it at my apartment tonight?” “I can just put it in the laundry here?” Beth started to say. “You know the laundry is analyzed, right?” “Huh?” Nikki shook her head, “You’re so smart on some things, kid…?” “What do you mean?” “Someone about fifteen years ago figured out when they installed the auto laundry features for the dorm that they could also be clever and make sure no one was hiding bedwetting from them?” “You mean…?” “Yes, if you have any clothing in the wash that has a too-high urine concentration, you’ll be closely watched.” With a sigh, Beth handed her the coat, “Thanks for washing it then…” “Do you have another in case it doesn’t dry tonight?” Beth nodded, “It’s supposed to be a bit warmer tomorrow anyway, so I would probably have switched to a different one anyway.” “Good,” she told her. “This date tomorrow?” Beth blushed and smiled at the same time, “Yes?” “Would you mind if I triple-checked Carly’s plans? I don’t want to overstep, but I also want to make sure it’s a safe trip for you.” She did indeed feel a bit smothered by that but nodded anyway. “Sure, it seems like she did a decent amount of work trying to plan it already?” “I’m sure she did, knowing her family. No need to risk her missing something, though!” “Fair enough,” she said. “You’re not going anywhere else for the night?” Beth shook her head, “I have a test tomorrow in calculus I need to finish studying for.” “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then,” she told her. “See you tomorrow,” Beth said, closing the door behind her and latching the deadbolt shut. She sighed, squeezing herself in a little hug, then changed into a comfy pair of pajama pants and a light purple top with a circuit diagram on it. Lance had given it to her for Christmas, and she appreciated its nerdiness. Dressed more comfortably, she pulled out her tablet and the review guide that her professor had kindly provided their class for the test the next day. She was about to the point of screaming about one problem when her phone suddenly rang. She stood, found it, and when she saw it was her mom, she answered with the holoprojection function, placing it on the desk in front of it. “Hi, Mom,” she said. “How are you doing, Sweetie?” She shrugged, “Ready to throw my tablet of calc work into the wall?” “That sounds normal,” her mom laughed. “The only person I know who didn’t absolutely hate that class was your dad.” Beth shook her head, “Carly is just as bad!” “How is she taking everything?” “Huh?” “The fact she’s stuck as a girl?” Her mom said. “Oh, that…” “That? It was supposed to be a temporary thing for the film? Surely she’s a bit upset, at least, at being stuck as a girl? Your dad would have been devastated?” Beth nodded, “Carly is fine with it, Mom. Actually, she’s better than fine with it, I think.” Her mom gave her the stare that always felt like she was opening her brain up and stripping out the knowledge from it, “She wanted to be a girl?” Beth sighed, “Yeah, I think so?” “Well, what about your relationship now?” Beth shrugged, “Seems fine still?” “You’re okay with going out with a girl?” Her mom asked. “You never seemed like you had a thing for girls before?” Beth shook her head, “I don’t have a thing for girls in general; it’s just Carly?” Her mom cajoled her into more information as their conversation went on about things she would never discuss with her dad. Eventually, she made her excuses and said, “I need to finish studying; give everyone my love?” As the line cut, Beth felt more drained and relieved to have spoken with her mother. Looking at the clock, she decided to hit the restroom and resume her studying. When she was past the point of getting anywhere, she went to the restroom again to clean her face and brush her teeth before climbing into bed and being tucked in by Rachel, who seemed to suddenly appear at bedtime each night. “Good night,” Rachel told her as she turned off the lights. I WOKE UP the following day with a swim with Lilly and Mackenzie before finding my way to breakfast and classes. Computational Intelligence was interesting that morning. I made some notes on some ideas I wasn’t sure Mom knew about yet! Our professor was currently involved in some research that furthered Grandma’s work in the field, and she was making some impressive gains in how the AI chunked new knowledge. Her thinking patterns seemed to be heavily influenced by her own kids’ development, which I found kind of intriguing! I walked to my Holofield Theory class and crammed a few last minutes of studying before the room was packed. Our professor passed out the same style of tablet we’d taken our placement tests on that first week. I appreciated that I was given a smaller one than my neighbors, though! “You have the full class time for this exam. We can work with you if you need additional time, but in my experience, you either know this material or you don’t,” Professor Davis told us. I nodded. To me, this was more of a memory subject than a ‘work it out’ subject like math or programming. “Just one other note, due to some issues I’ve had before, I would ask that you please not leave the room until after you complete the exam. You’re welcome to go before I activate the test and come back if you need to use the restroom, but I’ll collect your tests otherwise if you need to leave.” I squirmed at that, wishing that going to the bathroom was even a realistic possibility for me! “Well, at least I can just go…” I thought to myself even as several girls excused themselves from class, and one boy then. My diaper was a little damp, but I was pretty sure it would hold up until lunch based on how little I’d drank that morning. “Okay, I’m going to activate your tests now; they’ll start when they return. Good luck!” Immediately, my screen lit up, and I began working on answering questions about a subject that would have sounded like gibberish to me a few weeks ago! BETH HAD SPENT the morning when she woke up doing some last-minute cramming. She’d even made Carly quiz her on a couple of formulas before leaving her at her first class and heading to her own. During her Logic class, she discovered there would be a project due in that class in another week as one of her five grades. Fortunately, it seemed straightforward and not too time-consuming! Her professor annoyingly went over time by a few minutes. Since she was sitting inside a row, there wasn’t a good and tactful way to leave until he finished! She was a little worried that Carly wasn’t waiting for her or at her classroom until she checked her message and realized she’d hurried to her next class to cram for her own test. “Everything okay?” Nikki asked her. “Yeah, just was a little nervous for a second that Carly wasn’t here. She has a test in her next class, though, so she hurried there to do some last studying.” “I don’t miss being in school,” Nikki told her as she walked beside her. Beth laughed, “Aren’t you basically back in school now since you’re with me all the time?” She looked up at Nikki, who made a cringing face like she’d smelled something bad. “Well, at least I’m not taking the tests?” “Don’t remind me!” Beth said. She had to appreciate that the chill of winter had taken a break that day. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been the past couple of weeks. “I wonder if this warm weather is going to last long?” Nikki asked as if reading her thoughts. Beth shrugged, “Not sure, I was thinking that though? It’s been frigid the past couple of weeks!” They didn’t have much more time to talk before Beth led them into Marconi Hall and down the hallway to the small lecture hall where her class was held. She took a quick moment to detour into the restroom first and thought, ‘I hope Carly’s diaper lasts through this class?’ Once she sat in her class, she took a moment to pull out her notes again for her calculus exam. When her professor began class, she couldn’t help but note that it would be a long day before they wrapped up! “Okay, don’t forget that we have a test next Friday in this class…” he droned on as Beth made a note in her calendar about yet another test in the next couple of weeks! ‘Classes don’t seem so bad at the beginning, but then they just start piling up tests and projects!’ she griped. Her calendar was filling up, and it was still several weeks until midterms! She checked her messages as she left class and was a little concerned that she didn’t see one from Carly. I WAS MAKING quick work of the exam as it went through everything from the absolute basics we’d started with. The first question asked us to describe the particles involved in the projection of just the images. A follow-up question began to ask how you would manipulate the particles, and things continued on in that manner for thirty questions. About question thirty-one, I checked and saw there were a total of sixty, so I was halfway done! I was completing question forty-eight a half-hour later about the proper way to orient the projector lenses when I felt my stomach rumble. ‘Hush, I’ll feed you after this,’ I said, figuring it was just hunger since lunchtime was coming. Question fifty-three was a more theoretical-based question and asked about the proper formula for calculating the intersection of the particles of light with the stasis field you needed to generate. Fortunately, I remembered the formula, so I was writing it with the stylus even as I felt my body give off a little bit of gas in a fart. “Gross!” I heard someone complain a row away. I blushed but continued to work. ‘I hate that I don’t have any control over anything now!’ I thought to myself. The only warning I had before something happened now was when my body would decide to crouch, seemingly on its own. ‘Hopefully, it holds off until after this test!’ I grimaced a moment after finishing the fifty-fourth question as my insides seemed to twist some, but then there was a sense of relief in my body. I finished fifty-six before I heard, “Did someone just poop themselves?” From a girl a couple rows back. “Ladies and gentlemen, you must remain quiet through this exam. I will not warn you again.” “Professor, how can we concentrate when there’s a poopy-pants here?” The girl pushed back. “Breathe through your mouth,” he suggested and glared at her. I pointed my eyes back at my paper, but not before noticing he looked straight at me with a sympathetic glance. “Can I at least change her diaper?” The girl asked. “I’m sure it’s not comfy for her, and it’ll at least move the smell away from us?” “I told you, no one can leave the room?” He said, and I sensed he was trying to make excuses. “She’s just a Little, I’ll change her behind your desk?” “I don’t…” I felt a nervous feeling in my stomach, but I also knew it was kind of rude to force people to smell my poopy diaper for the rest of the test. “Fine,” I said, “I have a spare diaper in my bag. Are you sure you want to?” I looked up at a tall brown-haired girl who smiled, “Sure!” The girl clambered down the steps and had me in her arms almost before I was ready. “By the way, I’m Harper,” she told me. “Carly,” I said quietly. She nearly pushed Professor Davis to move out of the way, and I was at least grateful the room had been set up like a regular lecture hall that day. That meant a large desk in the front of the room blocked the view of anyone seated in the rows. “Do you have a changing pad?” She asked me quietly as she sat me down. I blushed, but I dug through my bag and handed her the changing pad, a diaper, and some wipes. “Well, at least you’re a prepared little girl!” She patted my back, “Let’s get you out of that icky poopy diapee!” “Please keep quiet,” Professor Davis asked. “I’m just changing her diaper?” “Quietly,” he insisted. She shook her head and unfolded my changing pad, then laid me down on it before pushing the skirt up and out of the way. With a few pops, the onesie was opened up, and then she tickled my stomach for no reason. I fought back a few giggles, “Please don’t?” “Fine…” she said. “Don’t get your panties in a twist… oh, you won’t wear those,” she smirked. I couldn’t tell if she was being cruel or just trying to be funny… “Don’t quit your day job,” I groaned. A moment later, she pulled the tapes open and used the used diaper to scrape some of the muck off my butt. “Eew,” she complained a moment later, and I watched her use a baby wipe to wipe her hand up before resuming the cleanup on my bottom. She used quite a few wipes to gently but quickly clean me up. Satisfied, she rolled them up in the old diaper and taped me in the new diaper, buttoned my onesie, then sat me up and handed me the diaper. “Go throw your diapee away in the trash can and get back to your test, sweetie!” I wanted to gag as she handed me the balled-up diaper! I could see brown stains on it, and I did my best not to throw up as I walked it to a trash can by the door. I found my pack of baby wipes in my bag and wiped my hands with one before returning to resume my test. Thirty minutes later, I was grateful to have pressed submit and escaped the room from my classmates! I felt a little guilty as I passed by the trashcan and could clearly still smell the contents! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!!! Please press the 'Like' Button and leave me a comment! The real world is hitting hard right now, and I'm hitting a lot of hours at work beyond normal right now. I'm hoping to get to some more writing on this this weekend so I can get back ahead. I'm being beaten up by my stress enough that we'll see what happens. The good thing is at one post a week I do have 16 more weeks written already, but I would prefer to return to two a week. We'll see what happens, though... Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Cody couldn't believe the humilating position he found himself in. After finding out his college roommate Vincent wears and uses diapers. He told all his classmates. Unfortunately the next morning he found himself strapped down to the his bed naked and standing next to his bed was his college roommate in just a thick diaper. Vincent told him how Cody humiliated him and everybody was calling him diaper boy. Also had girls slap his padded ass or pull back his pants waistband to give him a diaper check. He told Cody how much he loved diapers but it was supposed to be a secret. Now that it was out Cody's roommate decided it's time for some revenge. So he told Cody that now it's time teach him a lesson and that now they will becoming much more closer then just roommates. Vincent was now going to be Cody's master. Cody saw Vincent holding something his hands and then saw it was a chastity cage. Cody's roommate laughed then slowly started to attach the device to Cody's member. Vincent said from now on Cody will do what he says if he ever wants to make cummies ever again but unfortunately Vincent wasn't done with Cody just yet. He climbed on top of Cody then planted his diaper butt right infront of Cody's face. Cody then heard rumbling but it wasn't coming from his tummy. It was Vincent's tummy. Cody knew what his roommate was about to do. Vincent looked back at Cody and smiled then said "I made sure to have a big nice breakfast today. Some taco bell breakfast! Now your going to get a front row seat and get to take a nice whiff of my stinky butt". Cody begged for Vincent not too but it was too late. He heard a huge loud fart echo from Vincent's diaper then heard a big slush of mess enter the diaper. Vincent's diaper butt expanded getting closer and touching Cody's face. Then Vincent lifted up and said "smell the roses" then plopped hid stinky butt on Cody's face! Cody smelled the terrible odor coming from his roommates diaper. After smelling his roommates diaper. Vincent got up and then said "I got a special treat for you. Well two I should say so let's start with a nice warm enema. You better hold it in too. No going or il put my filthy dirty diaper around that head". Vincent grabbed Cody's legs and lifted them up and exposing his butthole. Vincent smiled "Here let me help lube it up" Vincent then tounges Cody's butthole making Cody squirm and get hard. Cody's hard dick strains against the cage and starts to precum like crazy from the rim job. "Daww looks like somebody loves their butt getting attention. If you love that you'll enjoy my toys but we can do that later time for your treat. Bottoms up" Vincent laughs sticking the enema inside Cody and then releasing all into Cody's tight ass. Cody could feel it filling up. He couldn't believe how real this was. He was a Dom not no sissy sub boy. Vincent then took out the enema and then could see Cody squirming. "Now now you better hold it in. Be a good boy for me. You can release it all out once we get your fresh diaper on" his roommate chuckled. Cody eyes widened and begged Vincent not to put a fresh diaper on him. Vincent smiled "hmmm ok fine I won't put you in a fresh diaper then if you say so". Cody felt relieved. Vincent then took off his messy filthy diaper and Cody almost gagged from how bad it smelled but then Cody noticed Vincent lowering the dirty diaper on the bed. And lifting Cody's legs in the air. In Cody's horror he saw Vincent place the monster filthy diaper underneath his butt. Cody then yells "Wait I don't want to wear yours! You said you wernt going to diaper me! Please don't do this!" Vincent then laughed "Well from your words exactly you said you didn't want to wear a fresh diaper. So im giving you what you want. Putting you in a "DIRTY" diaper haha". Vincent then lowered Cody's butt into his messy diaper. Then tapped Cody up. He then untied Cody and them lifted him up and planted Cody on his knee and bounced him just like a baby. So diaper slut how do you like my dirty diaper. Cody didn't say anything he was too grossed out from what was happening but something felt good. He couldn't help but moan. Something about the filthy dirty diaper felt so good. He couldn't explain why. He tried to not enjoy it but his dick strained and precummed more. He just started moaning more and more. "My my somebody really loves my dirty diaper. This is new. I was not expecting you to enjoy this so much. Btw Cody turn around and smile for the camera" Cody turned around and saw a friend of Vincent holding a camera aiming at him and his dirty pampers. Cody tried to cover his face but it was too late. Vincent laughed "Now lets see we got footage of you enjoy my poopy diaper and expressing it on camera. So here's the deal Cody! Your going to be my sissy diaper slut from now on. Every day after class I will diaper you up in a diaper or if your lucky my dirty diaper. And we will have lots of diaper play! If you don't do what I say then the whole school will see this video of you enjoy my dirty diaper! So do we have a deal?" Cody couldn't believe his roommate blackmailed him but he couldn't exact say no. So he agreed to the conditions of his new life to save his dignity. Unfortunately Cody felt a stranger sensation. He forgot about the enema that was given to him and held his tummy. Vincent noticed then said "oh perfect timing looks like you ready to add your own mess to your diaper. Well let's get you to the couch and get the camera set up. One video isn't enough. Got to have a backup just incase. But before that let me just quickly draw on the back of your diaper" After Vincent drew on Cody's diaper, he took him to the couch then Vincent put on his pup hood. And place Cody over his lap. Then the camera started recording and perfectly on time. Cody started to fill his already filthy diaper with his own stinky poo. The diaper surprisingly held it all. Then Vincent started to rub Cody's diaper butt squishing all the poo that was mixed against his butt. The mess started to move towards the front. And Cody started to moan from the rubbing. The camera captured it all even the drawing on Cody's diaper butt that said "diaper loading" with a bar half colored in with a 79% written under the bar. Cody couldn't believe that this was his new life now! He better be lucky that Vincent doesn't start making him wear diapers to class.

Thankfully I'm fortunate that my wife changes me. She wipes me clean during a diaper chang

Thank you.

and billed before shipped.

It looks similar to the one I have but I three away the packaging seven years ago. I'll look at the shop

Thank you! 🙂

I see London, I see Jaipur. I see her baby diaper.

Short answer: No

Yup. Also a deliberate choice. 😅 In the game that fight is meant to be fairly easy as the game eases players into the tactical side of combat. But for the purposes of my story, I needed it to be impossible until Tav literally explodes to save Shadowheart. Could I have done that with 3 Intellect Devourers? Yes. But I also wanted to show off their combat prowess a bit. I was especially proud of the flavor I gave to Inflict Wounds. 😊

I completely agree with BP on his very accurate quote, I understand how much work goes into writing stories/books and I don’t think that you should not be paid if the story is worth paying for, but a teaser or basically a advertisement for free is in bad taste, I actually have no idea how much money this type of thing would generate but I think at bare minimum you should consider a contribution to the site. Or the occasional free complete short story.

I have two of Nanny Chloe's stories sitting in my Kindle file. She's a good writer, but I have to agree that what she has done here is in bad taste. She has not been on this site since May of 2019. At least the other authors who promote the paid versions of their stories are active members of the community, and even if it's time delayed, do put their stories here for free. Become an active member of this community, and you are much less likely to get negative feedback for this sort of thing.

I Luvs this comment.

I'm back! Thanks y'all for being patient during my hiatus. 💜 It's a Briana chapter, and she's got a sleepover planned with all her Little friends. Exciting! 18 Sleepover It was a gorgeous spring Saturday in the Rasmussen house. The windows were open to let in fresh air and birdsong. The wood floor of the house’s great room glowed in the late morning light, freshly polished. From top to bottom, the house was immaculate, far more so than during a regular Saturday cleaning. This was mainly due to Briana’s and her Round Table's efforts. Briana paced in front of the stuffies lined up on the living room couch. One by one, she inspected the chore each stuffie had been assigned. · Knight Captain Alanna: Responsible for beating the dust out of the rug – done. · Squire Beartholomew: Asked to put out a bowl of chips and a bowl of cut strawberries – done. · Sir Chuck the Giraffe: Charged with dusting the furniture – done. · Sir Mimsey the Bat: Tasked with putting away toys and arranging throw pillows and blankets – done. · Sir Arnold the Pangolin: Trusted to put plastic glasses and a juice pitcher on the coffee table – not done! “Sir Arnold the Pangolin, I’m very disappointed you’re not finished with your job.” Briana shook her head at Arnold the Pangolin. “Luckily for Sir Arnold the Pangolin, your Princess is in a good mood. Plus, there’s still time before our guests arrive.” Briana snatched Arnold the Pangolin up and sprinted to the kitchen. Mindful of her pretty pouf dress with its lace overlay, she and Arnold the Pangolin took the glasses on the first trip and the pitcher on the second. The dress and lace were black, so the grape juice probably wouldn’t stain her if spilled, but it wasn’t worth the risk. She hadn’t spent her morning getting dolled up like a Little version of her gothy mom only to ruin it at the last minute. All chores were finished, and the snacks were ready. There was only one problem – no guests! Frustrated, Briana trotted across the hardwood floors in her brand new black and white Mary Jane’s. The clicky-clack noise her shoes made was enough fun that she didn’t feel like throwing a tantrum when she found Veronica – Briana was merely impatient. “Momma!” Briana hopped on the drawing room’s plush rug, which didn’t make a fun noise but had a delightful squish. Veronica was sitting primly in a black leather armchair with her laptop on her lap. She took an interminably long moment to finish whatever she typed before looking up. “Yes, Baby Bee?” “When’s Grandma going to get back? She’s been gone for ages.” “Michelle had three Littles to pick up, all living in different parts of town. I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.” Veronica smiled. “I’m glad you’re so excited, though. Did you finish all your chores?” “Barely! Arnold the Pangolin was sandbagging again.” Briana did a twirl for the joy of seeing her skirt flare out. Twirling was almost as fun as being at eye level with her mom. It only happened when Veronica was sitting or crouching down, which made it easy for Briana to stay in Littlespace around her mother. Two friends on their way were petite as well, though not as tiny as Briana. Nobody in the whole Graduate school was as tiny as her. Arthur was the opposite of Tiny, which made the ease with which he slipped into Littlespace impressive. Briana wondered if she should have Alanna commend him for it or if he’d be upset to have his size brought up. “Briana, are you listening to me?” Veronica had set her laptop aside and took Briana’s hands, pulling the Little girl into her lap. “Sorry, Mom, I was thinking about my friends. I can’t wait until they get here.” With a happy sigh, Briana leaned against her mom and tucked her head under Veronica’s chin. “I asked if you needed a change before they get here, but I can see you’re too distracted to notice.” Veronica flipped Briana’s skirt up and squeezed the Little girl’s diaper. “You’re dry, good girl.” It was funny how something that had used to bring Briana to tears – being diaper checked – had become such a comfort and reminder of Mom’s love. “Melody is going to play with us, too, right?” Briana squirmed until she had her arms around her mom and gave her a tight squeeze. “They said they would, so it’s a promise, and they have to play with us.” “I’m sure your sibling will happily play with you.” Veronica kissed Briana atop her head. “They said they were looking forward to it. But they won’t be here immediately, so don’t be disappointed. You’ll have plenty to do when Michelle returns with your friends anyway.” “Oh my gosh – I mean Goddess – it’s going to be so fun! Thanks for letting me have a sleepover, Mom.” Veronica got a funny look on her face when Briana invoked the Goddess. She always had a weird look when Briana brought up the one thing in her life that Briana hadn’t yet gotten to experience. This time, it was just a look instead of a swat or a frown. Mom even gave Briana a little squeeze. There could be no better time to ask Mom, especially after Briana had been such a good girl with her chores. “Momma, can I go with you to the next esbat?” “Not the next one.” Veronica put a finger on Briana’s lips to silence her whine. “April’s esbat is scheduled for the end of the month, during the dark of the moon. It’ll be one of our more serious ceremonies, and it won’t be a good introduction to the coven for anyone, especially a Little girl.” “But Momma!” “Let me finish. Beltane will be at the beginning of next month and the perfect time to introduce my bouncy, sparkly daughter.” “Really?!” Briana’s enthusiastic hug squeezed a grunt out of Veronica. “Mom, that’s super exciting! Can Melody come if I convince them?” “Only if they really want to come, and not if they agreed because you were badgering them.” “Melody loves me and you too; they’ll come.” Briana hopped off Veronica’s lap and did three spins in a row, giggling. “Thanks, Mom! I’m going back to the living room, so I’ll be ready when Grandma gets here.” “Don’t forget that your grandmother is in charge of your sleepover. Jane and I will be here, but you’d better not come to ask us for something she’s already said no to.” “Mom!” Briana’s exclamation of shock had little effect on Veronica’s knowing look. Reluctantly, Briana nodded. “That was only one time. But I promise I won’t. Okay, love you, momma. I’m going to watch the door now!” ~~~*~~~ Twenty eons later, or twenty minutes later – who’s to say – Briana heard a car pull up outside the house. An excited squeal burst out of her when the door opened, revealing Grandma and a train of bashful Littles. Grandma Michelle was dressed in a sturdy blue shift dress and looked downright vigorous; her health scare from Christmas seemed well behind her. Briana hugged Grandma, Arthur, Fabi, and Ava, adding a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s hug. They were all dressed Little, too. Arthur was in shortalls that looked like regular overalls that had been cut off and hemmed. He had a backpack over one shoulder and a stuffed tyrannosaurus under his arm. Fabi was in a purple, short-sleeved dress with a crazy amount of lace under her skirt. Her bag was an adorable teddy bear backpack – she had an elephant stuffie clutched in one hand. Ava wore a rainbow tie-dye t-shirt and lime green shorts that didn’t do much to hide her diaper. Her bag was a laundry bag – she looked like she was having trouble managing it, her crutches and her teddy bear Brownie all simultaneously. Briana took Ava’s bag, then Fabi’s and Arthur’s, to not to single her girlfriend out. With an oof from the weight, Briana set the bags by the stairs. “Hi everybody, thanks for coming to my sleepover! We have snacks and juice and anything you want; just ask.” “You’re all welcome to have some snacks, but don’t fill up.” Grandma guided the Littles into sitting positions on the living room rug. “I’ll have lunch for you in a few minutes.” “What’s for lunch?” Fabi asked. “Lefse! You’re going to love it. It’s potato flatbread with butter and sugar.” Briana bounced happily on her padded rear at the chorus of aahs from her friends. “I know you all kinda met at my birthday, but did you get re-introduced in the car if you needed to?” Briana asked. “I can do introductions! Or we can introduce our stuffies.” “We had a chance to talk in the car.” Arthur chuckled. “Your grandma squished us all into the back seat of her car,” Ava said with a giggle. “Also, Brownie has already met your stuffies, but he’d love to meet Athur’s and Fabi’s.” “This is Elle!” Fabi scooted up to Ava, shoving her elephant urgently toward Brownie. “Hi, Ellie,” Ava said for Brownie, waving his paw. “I’m Tommy,” Arthur said in the squeaky falsetto he used for his stuffed tyrannosaurus. Briana giggled and grabbed her stuffed Lioness. “Alanna knows Tommy and Brownie but is very pleased to meet Elle.” “Brownie is a kshatriya, which is kind of like a knight.” Ava declared. “Are Tommy and Elle knights like Alanna is?” “Of course, I’m a knight!” Arthur squeaked for Tommy before switching to his usual bass rumble. “Sorry, Tommy, but you know you can’t pass the qualifications.” With Athur’s help, Tommy had a stomping fit on the Little boy’s leg. “I think Elle can’t pass the tests or whatever either.” Fabi cuddled her elephant close. “She’s not into scary stuff like fighting.” “Then Brownie and Alanna will protect Tommy and Elle if needed.” Briana declared. In response, Ava grinned, scooting over to Briana to bump her hip against Bri’s. The sweet smell of potato pancakes followed Grandma out of the kitchen. Though she had food on the stove, Michelle managed to pour each Little a glass of juice and check their diapers. There were lots of blushy giggles in Grandma’s wake, especially from Ava. When the pancakes arrived, they were as delicious as they’d been the first time Grandma had made them. Savory, sweet, and buttery tastes filled Briana’s mouth with delight and her tummy with warmth. Besides the clinking of plates, the room was quiet as the Littles devoured their lunch. Briana cleared the lunch plates without being asked – because she was the best Little girl ever. While she was doing that, Grandma whisked Ava away for a diaper change, redoubling Ava’s blush. Briana plopped down on the floor between Arthur and Fabi, pulling them both into a hug. “I have to tell you two about something a bit scary that happened to Ava.” Briana was glad to see her friends responding with curiosity rather than nervousness. She had the mellowing power of Lefse to thank for that. “Ava and I were out together the other day and ran into some anti-ABDL protestors. One of them pushed Ava over and hurt her pretty badly.” “What?” Arthur’s jaw dropped, his expression struggling between Big rage and Little Concern. “Is she okay? I mean, she looks okay, but…” Fabi trailed off nervously. “She’s okay now, but it was terrifying; we had to call an ambulance.” Briana sighed. “Don’t make a big deal when she comes out, because she doesn’t like talking about it, but I wanted you to know that mean people are getting aggressive with Littles.” Arthur sighed. “Great, one more thing to deal with in town.” Fabi nodded. “So much for ever going out, now that I’m full-time Little.” “No! We can’t let them win. I have a plan to fix it; we’ll talk about it when Ava gets back.” “Talk about what?” Ava asked, maneuvering deftly on her crutches ahead of Grandma. Briana squirmed out from between her friends in time to pull Ava into a snuggle as she sat. “Fixing what happened to you the other day.” “That reminds me,” Michelle said. “Have you ever heard back from the police, Ava? I know Briana hasn’t.” Ava shook her head. “Not yet, but it’s only been a few days.” “Oh, that won’t do at all.” Michelle pulled her phone out of her purse. “You kids, go ahead with what you were doing. I’m going to give the police chief a call.” Arthur and Fabi looked at Briana in surprise. Before Briana could answer, Ava shrugged at them. “Her family just does stuff like this.” “My family and I have a lot of privilege in this town – and I’m going to put it to good use.” Briana squeezed Ava. “What happened to Ava is not okay. I don’t like seeing protestors or people talking badly about Littles. We’re not hurting anyone. They’re the ones harassing and hurting people.” “What are we supposed to do about it?” Arthur frowned. “It’s not like you can take away people’s right to protest. Even if they’re protesting for something mean.” “Of course not, but we can keep them from hurting people when they do it.” Briana thumped a fist on the rug. “And if we convince people that it’s okay to be Little, they’ll stop protesting alone.” “You’re talking about an activism campaign?” Ava scooted away from Briana, frowning. “Briana, I can’t even see my old friends; I can’t go on TV or whatever!” Fabi whimpered. Arthur kept quiet, but he looked as uncomfortable as Fabi did. “I’m not asking anybody in this room to do public stuff.” Briana looked up at Grandma with a smile. “Well, maybe Grandma. But mostly, it’ll be me and my aunt Kiara – she already said she’d help.” “Then you’re just – warning us that you’re going public about this?” The look on Ava’s face said that they would have to have a big conversation about Briana’s plan. That was okay. Briana knew that she could trust her girlfriend to understand once she explained things properly. “That’s part of it, but I could also really use your help! There’s tons of stuff to do that doesn’t involve showing your names or faces. I’ll need help writing letters, calling people, making lists of people to call, making flyers, keeping track of donations, and all kinda stuff.” “You’ve really thought about this.” Ava looked more thoughtful than uncomfortable – a good sign! “Wow, Bri, that’s a lot. You seem kind of like that day you, um – ran into me downtown and bought me cocoa.” Arthur smiled bashfully. “You mean when I was Big and you were Little? Well, I’m still Little, but I can do this! We don’t forget stuff when we’re Little, right? If anything, I think we understand stuff better.” “I just sit around most of the day when I don’t have a babysitter.” Fabi squirmed, her diaper crinkling. “It’d be fun to have something to do, but I’m not a good organizer.” “You could put letters in envelopes!” Briana grinned to see an eager smile on Fabi’s face. “Yeah, I could! Um, could I put cute stickers on them, or would that mess up the plan?” “That would be perfect!” Briana grinned, reaching out to grab Ava and Arthur’s hands. To her delight, Fabi took Arthur and Ava’s other hands. “We can do this Little-style! So, will you help me, please?” “Of course, we’re friends, right?” Arthur squeezed Briana’s hand. “I’m in for decorating and mailing stuff!” Fabi grinned. “It’s scary that you’re going to be publicly ABDL,” Ava sighed. “If you could be careful when you’re out with me, I’d really appreciate that. Even if it is scary – I’m in.” “Yay! Thank you, everybody! Especially you, Ava, for being super brave. I’ll be as careful as I can, I promise.” Ava rolled her eyes, though she was smiling from ear to ear. “You’re lucky I love you, Looney Tunes.” Briana’s giggle at what she hoped was a new nickname was short-circuited by the phrase immediately preceding the name. “You love me?” Ava ducked her head bashfully. “That just slipped out, but – I guess I do.” “I love you so much!” Briana tackled her girlfriend, giggling madly and kissing her all over her face. Ava laughed back, clinging to Briana until they settled into a loving hug. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Michelle peeked into the back of Arthur and Fabi’s diapers, getting a squeak out of them. “Ava, I told the police chief that his inaction was disappointing. He knows at least some of the names of people that were protesting, but he didn’t want to bother them.” Grandma tutted disapprovingly at the police chief as she untangled Briana and Ava, checking their diapers in the process. “He’s motivated to bother them now. We should have a name and some charges for the person who pushed you soon, as well as a restraining order.” Ava sighed gratefully, leaning against Michelle’s leg. “Thank you, uh… Ms. Rasmussen?” “You can call me Grandma if you want, dear. All you darling kids can if you want. You’re Briana’s friends, after all.” She clapped her hands dramatically. “Now! You’ve got full bellies and dry diapers. Briana gave me a list of activities for the day, including a movie, a blanket fort, and playing Cloudland. Which would you like to do first?” “We can’t play Cloudland until Melody gets back.” Briana protested. “Then it’ll be one of the other two. We’ll let your friends pick. Ava, Arthur, Fabi, what’ll it be, couch fort or a movie?” “Blanket fort?” Arthur asked excitedly. “Yeah!” Ava and Fabi said together. “Then we need to get the coffee table moved to the side. Some rolled-up mattresses can go in its place. You kids get busy doing that while I get the sheets to drape between the couches.” “Got it, Grandma!” Briana grinned, tugging mightily – and uselessly – on the coffee table. With Arthur’s help, they got it moving smoothly enough that they didn’t spill any snacks. Fabi pulled mattresses into place while Ava rolled them out. The Littles were in a snuggle-pile on those mattresses with their stuffies only a few minutes later. Grandma stretched sheets from couch to couch, pinning them in place. She even put a pillowcase across the entrance between Mom’s armchair and a sofa, making a cute door flap. The inside of the fort took on a dreamy blue and green hue from the sun filtering through the sheets. “Fabi, get the snacks!” Briana fished an arm through the sheet-walls to pull the rest of her round-table into the fort. “This is so fun.” Arthur giggled. “I wish we could sleep under here tonight.” Ava nodded eagerly. “That is the best idea!” Briana kissed her girlfriend soundly on the cheek before looking up to shout at the sheet-ceiling. “Grandma, can we sleep in the fort instead of Melody’s room like we planned?” “You don’t need to shout, Little Rose. I heard you and Ava both just fine.” Grandma chuckled. “Ava’s idea is a great one. We’ll get your sleeping bags in there when it’s bedtime.” Resuming their cuddle pile, the Littles munched on chips and gave their stuffies a dance party. Briana was feeling extra snuggly regarding Ava after her girlfriend’s declaration of love. Happily, Ava was the same. They stayed spooned together every minute that they played in the fort. The sleepover was already the bestest fun since Briana’s birthday and promised to get even better when Melody arrived. Through all the snuggles and laughs they were sharing, Briana’s heart overflowed with love for all three of her friends. Protecting them and their magical time together was more important than ever. Briana couldn’t imagine the kind of person who could object to the fun they were having as Littles – but she knew they were out there. That’s okay! I’ll change their minds as quickly as Grandma changes my diapers!

Size 1 (5 items) Diapers, pacifier, bottle, bib, onesie. Size 2 (10items) Size 1, plus sleeper, changing pad, skirtall or shortall, romper, stuffy. Size 3 (20 items) Size 2, plus crib, changing table, playpen, highchair, bouncer, toys, baby gym, rocking horse, harness, nanny.

Hey everyone! Congrats to everyone for making it to about the halfway point in this story. I feel this chapter is very appropriate to mark that point in this story, but things are about to get a lot more interesting. Also, I just want to note that I could have dedicated a lot of time to this next chapter. Originally, it was going to be three separate chapters, but then I realized that it might get a little tiresome plot wise. In that same vein, I know I could have drastically simplified Emma’s thoughts or language, but that makes for a pretty boring or near incomprehensible chapter, so I elected not to in this case. I think the end result works and makes for a much more interesting read. Also, minor spoiler here, but Dash does show up in this chapter as an actual character. Nancy doesn’t know his name, so he’s not named, but I just want to put it out there. Namely, I want to note it first because considering the number of views this story has already garnered, I’m assuming some of you may not have read my previous story. As such, basically just remember that toys come alive when not being watched. I won’t commit to if its magic or whatever, but keep in mind that toys only reveal themselves to Littles in dire circumstances or when they believe they won’t be noticed. It’s not a big part of this story, focusing on Emma and all, but just in case anyone gets confused, that’s the reason for some elements occurring in this chapter. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 8: Nothingness, a Doggy, and a Bond The trappings of my life soon became just that. I was a prisoner in my own mind. I didn’t want much anymore and everything around me became fuzzy… unclear as to what was going on. At first, I mourned the loss, but soon, I took comfort in the peace and safety my new life afforded me. I knew it was a dangerous path to head down but considering all that had happened and that I now felt practically all alone in this world, it just felt like a good alternative to what could have occurred to me. See, when Littles sometimes ‘break,’ as I did, we tended to go down one of two routes. Most just regressed their own minds and became mentally like babies from then on out. Recovery was possible but challenging and usually a failure. For me, however, I had gone the other way and I had become locked within my own mind. The major problem of this route for Littles was that their already fragile mind often would regress from sheer disuse or the inability to fight off anyone as they approached with something to further harm or regress them. Unfortunately, I was already starting to feel these atrophied effects take hold of me. While I knew that Nurse Bee’s special shot and whatever happened afterward with the pain in my head could be blamed for some of the problems I was now experiencing, I also knew that the more time trapped in my own mind was now severely degrading it. It wasn’t long before my needs became simple. My emotions were always in flux but my communication with them became very limited as well. A gurgle meant I was happy. Crying meant I was uncomfortable. And anything else that occurred outside my mind was just a physical manifestation of my own body. Even my memory seemed to fade with time. Concepts I had known for years all began to vanish. At first, I was so scared. Imagine forgetting your parents’ faces or the home you grew up in. Time seemed to just not matter anymore though, and it didn’t take long for me to not even mind that something was lost anymore. After all, if I couldn’t remember it, I couldn’t mourn it. Holes were left in my memory, but as the holes started to become the majority of what I could remember, one hole was just as sad, or meaningless, as the next. At some point, I just stopped caring. Between that and my near-constant need for sleep and other basic needs, my life soon merged into a routine. By the end of the second day, I had nearly lost all track of time and the only things I could recognize were those things that continued to be mentioned. Daycare, Nancy, Emma, diaper, messy… things like that, but most of those words had little meaning for me anymore. And each time I closed my eyes to sleep once again, I found I was missing more. I knew it wasn’t long before my current life was all I knew. I would live in the moment, not caring about what was next or what had just happened. Every time I had that thought though, my eyes soon closed once more as I fell asleep in my crib. * * * Nancy looked down at me and I cooed over seeing her face again. I wasn’t sure who ‘Nancy’ was exactly, but she was a pretty lady who kept me fed, warm, and clean. To me, that’s what mattered. “Who’s my Little snookums, huh? Is someone ready to go to daycare?” she asked, clearly not expecting a sophisticated answer back. As usual, I cooed back in response. “I’ll take that as a yes!” Her smile was infectious, and she played with my feet for a moment, before picking me up and taking me to the car. I didn’t like the car or my car seat, so I began to fuss. “Oh, honey. I know you don’t like this thing, but I need to get you to daycare and…” Her phone began to ring, and I started to fuss more as she turned her head away from me. “Oh, shoot! That’s work. I’ve got to take this, sweetie. I’m sorry.” She then popped her phone out. “Hello? Yes, Greg. I’ll be there in a little bit… No, I know that you all wanted me there early, but I just can’t with Emma…” Nancy seemed all upset and I got a little upset as well. I had no idea who Greg was, but I just wanted her attention back on me. She tried to play with my feet from a distance, but it just wasn’t the same. Nancy noticed. “Look Greg, I have to go… I didn’t regress her. You think I wanted this? She’s wonderful and all, but…” She looked back at me with a sad face and then quieted her voice. I could still hear her though. “It’s not my fault. The daycare screwed her up and taking care of a near newborn is hard enough. She had a blowout this morning and… yes… yes… I understand. I will be there as soon as I can…” Sighing, Nancy then hung up and turned her attention back to me. “Sorry, baby. I needed to take that but come on. I’ve got to take you to daycare pronto.” Seeing her attention pop back to me, I only cooed again. She smiled and I tried to as well, but I just heard a little farting noise instead. ‘Weird…’ Nancy tickled me a little bit and then left. Just as I was about to cry out though, she popped back in front of me, so everything was good. She even made this big noise with what we were in, and I cooed over the rattling I now felt in my body. Smiling back at me, Nancy turned on some of what she called ‘music.’ I wasn’t really sure what it was, but I just knew I liked it. So, I cooed back at her again. What felt like a thousand years later, Nancy stopped, disappeared for a moment, but then reappeared and picked me up. I cooed at her touch, but before I could really feel her closeness, I was given to someone else. I began to distress a little. “Sorry, Diana for the late drop-off,” Nancy apologized. “She had a blowout and I hate to drop and run, but I’ve really gotta go now.” The woman, Diana I guess, nodded and raised up my hand a little. “That’s okay, Nancy. We’ve got her now. You run off back to your job.” Nancy then waved at us and took off. Diana waved my already raised hand back to her and it felt kind of funny. I felt I had a new ability as my hand flopped about. It was so cool, but Diana stopped and just sighed. “Well, I guess I best get you settled Emma. No need to wait around out here…” I started to distress a bit, but Diana soon started bouncing me a little in her arms. It was actually kind of fun and I cooed a little bit during the process. Before we had even moved much further though, this one tiny person came up to us. “Miss Dee-Dee! Miss Dee-Dee!” she called out. ‘Who’s Miss Dee-Dee?’ Diana looked down at her though. “Yes, Lilly. Is there something I can help you with?” Lilly, I guess, nodded her head and clutched the doll in her hands more tightly. “When’s Emma gonna come back an’ play with us? Is she any better?” Diana started responded back, though I still wasn’t sure what was happening on whether she was really Diana, Miss Dee-Dee, or was just a special person and had two names. ‘Do I have two names?’ Diana shook her head to Lilly’s question. “I’m sorry, Lilly, but Emma here is on a different level than you are now. She might come back, but you need to be prepared that she might not.” Lilly seemed to listen but then quickly looked distressed and tried pulling my foot from her position below me. “Emma! Emma! Please talk to me! Please! You gotta wake up!” Diana moved me away and pulled Lilly away from me before waving over to a new woman. “Easy, Lilly. You need to stop that. There’s nothing any of us can do now, so you just need to accept this. Until then, Miss Mindy here is going to take care of you, okay?” By now though, Lilly was crying, and I started to get a little distressed myself. “Oh dear,” Diana said as she started to bounce me around again. “Guess someone needs their morning nap and a feed.” My cries stopped and I cooed back. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” Diana then waved to Miss Mindy and Lilly as the two hugged each other. Lilly was still crying, and she seemed so familiar, but the prospect of getting fed quickly snapped my mind off the brief thought. That cycle repeated for a long time after. Maybe a year, or a month… a day… actually, I wasn’t really too sure on the who concept of time anymore, but it felt like a long time. Regardless, nothing changed. I would wake in the morning, Nancy would drop me off and would get more upset every day with me, I would come to daycare and go through that cycle, and then I would be taken home where I would go to sleep again. It was all a routine, but a pleasant one at that. My world had shrunk very nicely and despite Nancy and others seeming distressed around me occasionally, I just kind of accepted my life. It felt safe and easy. But I guess life never stays that way though, and soon, I finally felt like I was cracking up. That patchwork-like stuffed dog that seemed somewhat familiar had wandered into my crib in the Burrows room… and yes, I know how it sounds, but I swear they walked right up to me and even spoke to me. I just assumed it was a dream, but he kept doing it with such vigor that it almost frightened me. Stuffy’s are just not supposed to talk. It’s almost a basic law of nature, ‘I think?’ but after a few more times, I kind of just accepted his presence as he snuggled down next to me after trying to get me to talk for the millionth time. I mean, even if I wanted to or could for that matter, what would I even say to a stuffy come to life? ‘Hi, my name is Emma. You are supposed to be an inanimate object and you’re probably possessed or I’m going crazy… more than what’s normal for what I’ve been through that is. Want to be friends?’ Something like that just didn’t happen, and I kinda just accepted the funny-looking but soft stuffy into my life. On top of that though, I began to realize I almost had a superpower of sorts. I couldn’t fly like the birdies outside or be strong like Nancy was, but I heard everything when most people thought I was just a shell of who I was. I was already seeing the stuffy come to life, but I saw so much more as well. I couldn’t really retain anything, but nonetheless, I still heard everything in the moment at least. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Gillies,” Miss Dee-Dee said while the other large scary woman looked down at me in the crib. I had since managed to remember Miss Dee-Dee’s name and I was so proud of myself. It was small, but I felt like such a big girl for remembering that she was called two names. Two was a big number after all. “She hasn’t changed since Tulia brought her in last week.” “Then I want you to do something different with her. Nancy is threatening to sue us or leave, and because it’s disrupting her work, they’re backing her up as well,” Mrs. Gillies, I guess, said harshly to Miss Dee-Dee. For once, I swear that Miss Dee-Dee seemed scared herself. “But it’s not my fault, Mrs. Gillies…” Miss Dee-Dee tried to defend herself. “It wasn’t my medicine that made her this way. It’s Brit…” “It’s Nurse Bee around here, Diana,” Mrs. Gillies rudely interrupted Miss Dee-Dee. I really wanted to defend my kind carer around here, but I could only just coo and let out a little fart instead. ‘It’s so funny when I do that… Miss Dee-Dee always changes me afterward and blows kisses on my tummy. It tickles!’ I paused, realizing I had lost track of what was being said above me. ‘Shoot! She’s saying something again.’ “…I know it’s really hard to work under these conditions, Diana, but we have rules for the staff here as well for a good reason. You know that, or do I have to remind you again?” “N… no, m… ma’am,” Miss Dee-Dee stuttered out. “I don’t n… need a reminder…” Mrs. Gillies smiled and rubbed Miss Dee-Dee’s shoulder. “That’s very good, Diana. It’s for your own good. Trust me. I’ll talk to Nurse Bee tonight and see if we can’t figure out this little glitch of hers. I think I can calm down Nancy and get to accept everything, but I’d prefer not to have to do that for other caregivers. Six Littles ending up like this is too much and you know I don’t like this type of outcome for our Littles.” Miss Dee-Dee nodded. “Yes ma’am. Of course.” Both looked down on me, smiled, and then walked out of my view. I was more than a little confused of what I had just heard, but I felt there was a big problem with someone called ‘Nurse Bee.’ I don’t think that Mrs. Gillies or Miss Dee-Dee wanted me this way, so maybe I had two other people on my sid… ‘Oh! Another toot! Feels so funny! Everything feels so squishy now! Squishy time! Squishy time!’ I cooed a little in my crib. The stuffy dog would be here any moment and Miss Dee-Dee would come back and remove my squishiness and… ‘Wait… wasn’t I just thinking about something that was said? Done to me?’ I really tried to remember, but another little toot came from all my straining to think. ‘Oh well. I guess if it was really important, I would have remembered it…’ So, all that kept happening. I would see something, panic and think about it, but then forget about it just as quickly. I might remember some of it later, which is the only reason that I could retain anything, but the most I could piece together was that Miss Dee-Dee and Mrs. Gillies wanted to help me out and were sorry and Nurse Bee was bad… I guess. Again, all super fuzzy, but like most things, I just had to live with it. It seemed that would be my life forever, but my new stuffed companion apparently just kept coming to me. Oddly, during one of the visits, I swear I heard a voice in my head and life in my limbs for the first time in forever… a week… a day ago? I really didn’t know, but it was there, or at least it was for a moment. I tried after, but only managed to make out another little fart. Now, I had never had a toy before… at least I think so, so I wasn’t sure why I kept getting this strong urge to hug this stuffy that kept dropping by. He certainly wasn’t new, and his stitching almost scared me, but he stuck by me. No matter what; diaper change, bottle feeding, cries… everything. He would always hide when Miss Dee-Dee or Miss Tully came to check on me and calm me down, but he was always back soon after. It wasn’t much, but he was someone I could cling to and rely on to be there for me in this place. So, when he came back to me one day and laid down for a while after I had arrived at the daycare late again, I didn’t really think anything of it, but was just glad he was here again. Almost instantly though, I heard something again buzzing in my head, but unlike the other times, I could almost make out most of the words. “Wake up… wake up… no one is upset with you… you are a good girl… just wake up…” just started playing over and over in my head. At first, I couldn’t make much of it out, but when I concentrated, by the third time it went through my head, I could hear almost as if someone were directly talking to me. Having just woken up from a nap, I could have sworn it was all just part of a dream, but as my eyes began to flutter open more to their still semi-relaxed awakened state, I heard something new this time. “Emma… wake up, Emma. Wake up for me… show me something… please, Emma… I will protect you… I will make it all okay… just please wake up…” I began to get excited. Hallucination or not, the patched stuffy dog seemed to be trying to reach out to me. There was no one else her, so it just had to be him. Being so far set adrift in a world of nothingness, it was something, so when he walked away from me again, I didn’t like it. So, I tried to muster all the strength I had inside and tried to will myself to do… say anything. Finally, I let out an “Uhhh…” The stuffy stopped and looked back over at me. First, I was elated that he had stopped. Even more though, second, I had made a noise. Having basically just been a passenger in my body for so long… ‘Maybe?’ I still wasn’t sure about things like that, but to me, all this now almost seemed like a miracle. I watched as the stuffy moved closer to me. He almost seemed just as relieved as I was, but as quickly as he turned around to see me again, he began walking away again. Not wanting for any of these miraculous new sensations or ability to go away, I let out another “Uhhh…” Again, the stuffy whipped back around to see me. I wanted him to do anything just so I could test more of myself out. Perhaps it was just a fluke, and I had some bad gas, always possible with a Little, but I just hoped it was something more… something longer lasting. ‘Had I finally found my exit from this locked-in state?’ Curiously though, instead of speaking to me, the stuffy only stared back for a while and then began to gather the blanket around me into a large pile halfway between me and the bars of the crib. In an instant, he went from looking at me to disappearing completely. I began to panic. ‘Where had he gone? He was right there! Is he a magic dog? Do I have some special magic dog just floating around and that’s why he can talk, walk, and I can hear him mentally?’ I wasn’t sure at all, but I definitely knew I wanted him back. So, frustrated, I dug deep and let out another “Uhhh…” To my relief, he popped out from behind the bunched pile he had formed. I still wondered if he was a magical stuffy, but I just cared that he was back again. Suddenly, I felt an odd sensation on my face. It was moving, near on its own and felt like it did when I cooed lately, but I still felt confused as to what it was. Seconds later though, my mind clicked into place and a deep memory popped to the surface and I realized I had no reason to panic. I wasn’t in danger. I was just smiling! Everything felt so joyous, and I just wanted to hug my new magical stuffy so badly. Moreover, I just wanted anything to happen to keep this progress going, and as if he could read my thoughts, his mouth slowly opened. “Emma…” My heart leapt for joy, and I felt myself smile even more. My magical stuffy spoke! I hadn’t just imagined it all, and I wanted to see or to hear more, but I was just so happy that a change felt like it was in the air. And, as if all that wasn’t enough, my magical stuffy walked over to me and nuzzled into my chest. Not being able to do much, but still wanting to acknowledge what he had done, I tilted my body a bit right into him. He didn’t say anything this time, but he seemed happy. That happened for a little while longer, but I could see that he almost looked like he wanted more. As if to confirm my theory, he then leaned over near to my face and looked right into my eyes. “Emma… you’re safe with me. I can be your friend if you want, but just please come out of the darkness. Come back to us, Emma…” As if a key had suddenly been turned, I felt new life within me. Sensations I had forgotten long ago came flooding back to me. My eyes, once so lifeless and still except for the keenest of observers, began to open wider as I looked back at my magical stuffy. “Oh Emma…” he said breathlessly. Everything felt so good… so new and exciting. I wanted to embrace it all and to my surprise, I even began to be able to wiggle about as my body started to awaken once more. It still wasn’t much, and I couldn’t win a race against a snail most likely, but even a little bit of something was still more as compared to when I had nothing. It was an absolutely perfect moment and I had never felt such joy in my life, or at least that’s what I assumed right then. But then something clicked within me. Now, just to be clear, as my faint recollections of my past began to flood in, I started to remember the basic stuff first since I had become like this. I remembered names and faces for the first time since all this began. Who they were was still hazy and I maybe could tell you the difference between the days, but the memories were slowly coming back. And while all that felt wonderful, I realized just how boring my life had become. It was a series of feedings, naps, diaper changes, and being hauled from one location to another. In all my memories, I could only remember being in this daycare, Nancy’s house, and her… ‘Car? Yes… car…’ I had the faintest sense there was more to life than that, but it was just beyond my fingertips. Still though, it was there, and it made me want more. Which is when I realized that I used to have more… and lost it. I wasn’t sure, how, why, or when at that moment, but I just knew I did. Seeing myself lying in this crib and being excited to do more than fart or cry was a serious blow to my happiness. My previous wiggles quickly stopped, and though I was getting my memories back, I was still very much the person I had become. So, with my emotions still in flux and triggered so easily, I broke… again. I deeply worried that this new issue would break me as it had before. I felt all the same sensations surrounding me and the loss that each of them meant. Everything felt so distant, but the images were still there of at least who I used to be on a large scale. I couldn’t remember things like street names or where I was a year ago but faces and things that I had done were becoming much clearer, so my loss now felt even worse. And, when all that began to fade again, I panicked even more. Tears flowed from my eyes, and I would have given anything to stop myself. I wanted an out, but I didn’t see anything. I was in the same room and even the same crib with the same sense of loss. I felt myself plummeting toward the abyss once more, but then I opened my eyes, and through the tears, I saw one difference: my magical stuffy. Hoping and wishing beyond and harder than I ever had before, I willed the last of my being into my arms and shot them straight out to what felt like the most recent constant in my life. I could have missed, and everything would have been over… but I didn’t. My hands clasped around his soft fury body, and I brought him right into my chest as tightly as I could. My tears were horrible, and I surely thought someone was going to help me, but no one ever came. Miss Dee-Dee, Miss Tully, or the volunteers here must have been on break or something, but that still left me. My magical stuffy was wonderful, but I just wasn’t sure if even he was enough. Suddenly though, like before, I heard something float through my head. “Easy, Emma… calm down and relax… listen to my messages… feel them… hear them… relax…” Surprised, but so relieved, I could feel my sobs began to fade out of nowhere. I knew it had to be my magical stuffy, and as such, I felt he was truly magical, so I hugged him even tighter. I felt a little fuzzy and sleepy right then, but at least my cries began to simmer. I had no idea what was happening, but as I gazed down to my magical stuffy, I just felt I had finally found the peace I was looking for. Never wanting to part with him again, I hugged him closer with one arm, but curiously, my other snaked up and my thumb planted itself right in my mouth. Never having the strength to do so before or the desire before all this, it was an odd and yet wonderous feeling. I never wanted it to leave my mouth again, but as my eyes drifted closed, I just felt happy that maybe, just maybe, I could find my way back to who I used to be. * * * Later that night, I was feeling much better, especially after I was able to wiggle my fingers after my nap, but back home, I could see that Nancy was in another one of her moods. I had been distressingly ripped away from my magical stuffy when she picked me up and now, amidst all the chaos, I desperately wanted him back. Further, having remembered some of my past now, I sadly knew that today wasn’t the first time that Nancy had come home upset. Remembering other times, I didn’t know much, but I knew I was a burden to her lately with the lack of my current abilities that she now had to deal with. Still, after my bath, I was snuggled into my jammies for the night and brought downstairs by a now calmer Nancy to my relief. I sat on her lap as we watched Squares and Letters, a show dedicated to younger Littles like me. There wasn’t much of a plot, and I drifted in and out from time to time, but tonight at least informed me, when I correctly guessed what a square was, that I was slowly getting better. Unfortunately, in the middle of the show, Nancy got a call, and I was placed into my bouncer carrier seat nearby to still watch the TV. “Yes, hello sir… no sir, I just got home and…” Her face quickly changed to one of concern and worry. “No sir, I didn’t mean to leave before my meeting was over but Emma and… I understand sir but I really need to… yes sir… yes, I understand that Littlecare is important to the company, but I need to find a way to make things work… yes sir… yes sir, I’ll be in early tomorrow morning… goodnight, sir…” Nancy then hung the phone and seemed like she was about ready to cry. I wanted more than anything to comfort Nancy right then, but as things were, I could remember what had just happened and that Nancy was having work troubles, however, that was about it. Right as I thought she was about to burst into tears though, her head snapped towards me. “You…” I had never seen her so angry before, let alone have it directed right toward me. With my newly rediscovered perception of the world though, I was never more scared in this house than right then. “You… you were punished by the daycare. I read the report, and you did this to yourself!” she spat at me. I could see the tears begin to drip down her face and I knew she was just speaking out of anger and frustration over everything, but I was genuinely shocked over what I was seeing now. “Mrs. Gillies said it was an accident and that you really couldn’t be held responsible for your actions, but ever since you came here, you’ve defied everything!” To emphasize her point, Nancy had even thrown her hands up in the air. “I mean, ever since that first day I met you… it’s just all been about you. You never thought any of us Bigs were right, and now, look at you! Probably can’t even tell if you’re wet or messy right now as compared to before. I bet if I checked, not even that long after I just changed you, you would at least be a little wet!” I wiggled just a tiny amount to see if I was wet, but I really couldn’t tell if I was or not anymore. I suspected that would take a long time to come back… if at all. “And now… I’m stuck with practically a newborn! What got into me to take you in? I must have been out of my mind when I did it. I should just return you to the foster home…” She paused and stomped her foot on the ground. “Damn it! They probably wouldn’t even take you anymore. You’re just a lost cause to pretty much everyone now. Ten years ago, newborns were all the rage, but now? I might as well give you freely to the institution up the street!” It was all a lot to process. I could tell this had been building up for some time, but to hear it all in one fell swoop… I felt like right on the cusp of everything turning back to normal between us, now, was crashing down all around me. For all I knew, in a week I would be locked up with the rest of the deformed or mentally damaged Littles in the nearby state institution. I still couldn’t remember much, but Garden Gate Hospital stood out in my mind as a place to avoid at all costs if any of the rumors there were true. So, tired, emotionally drained from my long and trying day, and now verbally assaulted by and scared of Nancy, my seemingly whole world yet who now seemed set on giving me away, my emotions simply gave way. I tried to hold them back but considering the earlier smile I had managed still felt like a miracle, I was useless to keep from bursting into tears. Unfortunately, Nancy was still upset at me and her whole life now. She tried to ignore me at first. She even walked away and plugged her ears at one point, but I could tell it was no use. I could see hatred and desperation in her eyes. “Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!” she lashed out at me. It was a terrible moment, but even through the blur of my own tears, I could see that Nancy was at her wits end as well and crying herself. For a moment, she even seemed shocked herself over what she had just said out loud to my poor tiny crying form and cupped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. She didn’t mean her words tonight, and I could see it in her eyes. It still didn’t take their sting or the fear they induced away from my heart, but it was something. It was something even more to see though as she leaped out and grabbed me up. “Oh baby! Baby! Please! Shhh, shhh. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry!” she lamented as she began to rub my back and bounce me around. I wasn’t sure I was emotionally ready to forgive her, but my infantile Little instincts were in the drivers seat still and began to lull my cries away. “Shhh, shhh, honey. I’m so, so sorry, Emma. I’m just so stressed. Easy there. Easy. I’ve got you.” My cries continued to quiet down. “There, there. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you. No one’s going to take you away. I was just upset, and I didn’t mean all that.” She then paused and sat on the couch as she transferred into more of a cradling position with me looking back up at her. “I don’t even know if you can understand me. I wish you could speak, but if you can still think, I’m just so sorry.” I probably could have said something, maybe even a ‘na’ for her name by now, but I decided to keep quiet still. I wanted to hear what she had to say first. “I took you in as a friend, but I didn’t think of the future. I should have and that’s on me. You were just an adult in your old life. All our commercials say otherwise, but I could see your intelligence when you read at least… then all that got taken away. Slowly, you turned into this… and I just wasn’t ready.” She paused for a moment and looked away briefly at some of my babyish equipment and toys that now littered her family room. “I should have talked to my friends more about you and what to expect, but I didn’t. I should have talked to my boss more, but I didn’t. That’s on me, and there’s no excuse. Punished or not, you put your trust in me, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I still don’t know if you can understand me, but maybe show me a sign if you can? Please, baby… something… anything…” I debated for a second if I should just let her wallow in her torment longer, as words didn’t always heal other words said before, but I saw the genuine look of apology and regret in her eyes. I saw the longing for forgiveness the most though, so, having a little more control over my body now, I decided to smile back at her. Not even questioning my newly required ability, Nancy lit up. “Oh honey! Thank you! I don’t know if that’s maybe even just gas, but I’ll take what I can get. Come here, baby!” She then held me close and began to rock me back and forth as she hummed a pleasant and familiar tune. I couldn’t place it for the life of me, but I was just happy over our shared tiny moment. Everything remained like that in such peace and quiet… but then my stomach began to growl. I just ate when I came home, but I guessed my stomach needed what it needed. Nancy quickly noticed. “Oh! I think someone’s stomach just growled at me, huh?” She then slightly adjusted me and prodded around with my diapered rear. “Hmmm… not messy, and you’re probably not uncomfortable, but what about being hungry? Do you want some food maybe?” She looked back at me and knowing my own needs and having the ability to communicate a little better, I smiled back at her. She chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” She stood up and walked away from the family room couch, stepping over a few of my leftover items on the floor. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you fed.” I was so happy. We were communicating much better now and Nancy felt like she was finally accepting who I was as a Little now. I wasn’t sure how long the peace would last, and I still had a long way to go myse… ‘Wait… where are we going?’ I watched as Nancy slowly walked me back upstairs instead of the kitchen to fetch me a jar of pureed Littlefood or to warm a bottle up. As we entered my nursery, I at least knew where we were going, but I still wasn’t sure why. Like the rest of my life, as we entered, my eyes were confronted with the notion that my room had changed as well. Unlike other Littles though, whose rooms were changed out of spite or humiliation most of the time, mine was changed out of necessity. The rocking chair was new, but comfortable whenever Nancy read me a story. The books, no longer read by me, or even held by me, had grown simplistic and overly colorful. A changing table, crib, and my wardrobe had all changed as well and everything had now been bathed in pink, purples, or some kind of pastels that blended in nicely. It was a wonderfully comfortable room, but I was still confused why we were up here to feed me. Sitting down in the rocking chair and cradling me back in her arms, Nancy didn’t seem satisfied with my position for far longer than normal. Once she stopped moving me around though, I was too low to be read to, yet too high to be spanked. It was extremely comfortable though, and I felt I could even doze off quite easily, but I still had to question it all in the first place. ‘Had Nancy finally cracked like I did? Couldn’t I have just been fed before she did though?’ As if to punctuate my pressing concern my stomach rumbled again. Nancy smiled down at me. “You know… Mrs. Gillies and I have been talking for a while now. She’s been a big help in making sure you were cared for with your new disabilities, but she’s been slowly suggesting other things that could help us bond better. One, I even bought pills for, but as it turned out, coincidentally, I found out I didn’t even need them a few days ago. I wasn’t sure if to tell you or not, but I think as a kind of recommitment from me to you, I should tonight.” I was still confused, but my eyes bugged out in further confusion as Nancy began to unbutton her shirt. I could feel the heat radiating off her body and I hoped that’s where it would all end. It didn’t though and I froze in shock as she unbuttoned a clasp on her bra and revealed her chest fully to me. “See baby… I’ve been thinking that I should become something more for you. I’ve just been torn between my work and home life lately, but tonight, I realized I really should be focusing on you. You need me right now, and if my job doesn’t understand in this world, I will just find another. After all, it’s not every day I try to start being a mommy to my Little now, is it?” she asked down to me. Her words were full of tenderness and her touch was as soft as ever, but I saw a twinkling of some kind in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but I soon realized that it was desire. She had shown it before, but now, her desire was to care for me and to be my new mommy. Yesterday, I might have just cooed at the idea, but today, I felt very different. Unfortunately, once again tonight, my Little babyish instincts began to take over right then. Maybe it was the smell coming off Nancy or the sight of her exposed nipples, but still without much control over my body, my face began to head right for her chest without question or much resistance. Being fully aware of everything and still feeling that something was off, though I couldn’t quite place it, I could only view my actions as an outside observer in silent horror. See, while my memory was still fragmented, I did remember a few things about Bigs and Littles, namely about breastfeeding. Just the situation in general was the stuff of most Littles nightmares, but there were also several facts about it, all interesting to observe but not necessarily witness firsthand. Chiefly though, I remembered something about the hormones in women Bigs specifically. Breastfeeding tended to form a bond they couldn’t break. It was similar for Littles, but the bond formed in half the time for Bigs. Worse, the bond tended to come with a few side effects, namely a change in the personalities of the women feeding their Littles. As my lips wrapped around her nipple, I could do nothing but watch in terror and panic over what was going to happen next. Horrifyingly, as my still regressed instincts took over, I found myself growing attached to the milky substance now trickling down my throat. It was difficult at first, and occasionally Nancy would wince and tell me “No teeth,” but my body just seemed to want more of the wonderous liquid. For her part, Nancy only just cooed at me and stroked my hair in clear contentment. Buried deep, I felt the liquid almost tasted like a milkshake and was the best thing I had ever consumed, but my newly awakened mind burned with the shock of everything that was going on. Before today, everything seemed boring but routine. I could have mapped the next years of my life out with no problem. Once I had awakened though, everything now felt like it was so up in the air. Nancy seemed so much more set on becoming my mommy, but conversely, I felt certain that I wanted more in this life. I wanted to run, play, and jump outside. I knew my path back was difficult, if not impossible, but my goals were still there. As I began to drift off and Nancy just continued to smile in near pure bliss down at me though, I had no idea if her possible new personality would even allow me to. No matter what, I just felt the tremendous weight of the future bearing down on me and all the uncertainties and challenges I was sure to face. For now, though, I just drifted off as I continued to suck down the creamy liquid.

AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE “Please rise.” The bailiff scanned the courtroom, making sure that everyone had got the message. “This court is now in session,” he intoned; “the Honorable Judge Thomas Reynolds presiding." “Be seated,” the judge commanded as he spread his black robe and took his seat. Looking around the courtroom, he took the measure of the five defendants, and then shifted his gaze to the District Attorney. “Mister Ballstrom, I'm surprised to see you here this morning. What have we got?” “Solicitation, Your Honor,” the DA said in a conversational tone. “The Public Defender has agreed to a pleading on behalf of all five of the defendants.” “I see … or rather, I don't. Mister Ballstrom, in the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, The Under Assistant West Coast Promotion Man could have adjudicated this matter. So, I ask again: what brings you to my little corner of the world?” “It's the next matter on the docket, Your Honor. It's rather unusual.” The judge looked down at the paperwork in front of him, then looked back up. “I see what you mean. Forty one defendants … multiple acts of related and unrelated theft … conspiracy … aiding and abetting … what did they steal?” “Diapers, Your Honor.” “Diapers?” Judge Reynolds gave Q-Ball one of those looks that suggested his sanity was in question. “Are you serious?” “Yes, Your Honor. We have one count involving theft from a local hospital, but the other victims were clients of a local business, the Lullaby Diaper Service. Unbeknownst to the thieves, Your Honor, the owner of this establishment is a local businessman of some renown-- one Vincent Belmondo.” The judge leaned back in his chair and let out a deep sigh as he began looking over the spectators. A few were familiar faces, elderly citizens seeking live entertainment in lieu of the televised sort, but he spotted Spats in the back row. The gangster was attended by his attorney, a slimeball of the first order whose name the judge could not recall, and an equally slimy flunky who bore an amazing resemblance to the late Toothpick Charlie. Spats appeared to be studying the back of Julia Canon's head, spearing her with one of those sinister looks that suggested a man trying to figure out where to park the ice pick. It was anybody's guess what the Canons were doing in his courtroom-- the Canons and Chief Mischof. Adding to the mystery, the Chief was flanked by a nicely dressed, middle aged woman on his left, and a well dressed young man on his right. And Priscilla Canon has her left hand firmly planted on the young man's thigh. Interesting … “Will Hercule Poirot be testifying for the prosecution?” “No, Your Honor. There are witnesses, but I do not believe that it will be necessary to call them.” “I see,” Reynolds said, although in reality he didn't see at all. “Well, then, let's get this show on the road. Miss Kaplan, how do your clients plead to a single count of solicitation each?” “Guilty, Your Honor,” the Public Defender declared. Reynolds sadly shook his head. “Ruby, I'm surprised at you. By now, I should have thought that you knew every officer and sheriff's deputy in the five country area. Are you losing your touch?” “No, Your Honor; they brought in a bunch of ringers. State troopers.” “Fair enough,” he smiled. “Mister Ballstrom, what have the two of you worked out?” “A five hundred dollar fine, Your Honor, and forty-five days in County, which will keep them out of our hair over the holidays.” “So ordered,” the Judge declared as he brought his gavel down with a commendable thump. “Next case!” Leaning still farther back in his chair, he began gently swiveling to left and right while while waiting for Ruby Montpelier and her friends to exit, and a gaggle of forty one new defendants to take their place. Forty one defendants in one courtroom … this has got to be one for the Guiness Book of Records ... He stopped swiveling when it dawned on him that the defendants were all college girls, none of them likely to be over twenty-one years of age. “Mister Ballstrom,” he barked, “can you assure me that there are no minors in this group?” “I can, Your Honor; the youngest is eighteen.” “And who is their legal counsel?” “Your Honor, we are waiving our right to counsel.” “And you are?” “My name is Tippi Anne Bjornsen, Your Honor. We are all members of the Zeta Alpha Pi sorority, and my sisters have asked me to represent us in this matter.” “Stealing diapers, you mean. What on earth possessed you to do something this stupid?” “It was a sorority stunt, Your Honor, but it got out of hand-- and we do have someone to speak for us.” “And who would that be?” “Professor Grady, Your Honor.” “C'est moi,” Ian announced as he climbed smoothly to his feet. Without waiting for an invitation, he walked through the gate and crossed the courtroom to stand at Tippi's side. “Professor Ian Grady, Your Honor … and no, I'm not on the Law School faculty. My beat is East Asian Languages, and to make this affair a bit odder still, I am a customer of Mister Belmondo's diaper service-- in fact, the last one to have his diapers stolen, Miss Bjornsen here having done the honors.” “You're wearing a diaper,” the Judge declared, not quite believing what he was hearing. “Fully incontinent, Your Honor, courtesy of an AK-47 round, a piece of which is still lodged in my spine. And I apologize in advance if I … uh …” “I quite understand,” the Judge interjected. “Viet Nam?” “Special Forces, Fifth Airborne. Nha Trang. Ended up a Major.” “Judge Advocate,” Reynolds replied; “Marines … Da Nang. I was fortunate enough to get out in one piece. Welcome to my courtroom, Major; it's an honor.” “Now,” he continued, “what have the two of you masterminds worked out?” The Judge nodded at the District Attorney. “For the most part, Your Honor, it's pretty standard. Each of the forty one defendants will do six hours a week of community service at local hospitals, and will do so until they graduate. Professor Grady will see to their placement. Each will be fined in the amount of twenty-five hundred dollars, and they will remain on probation until graduation. The most unusual feature here, and one that we all agree is in the best interest of these young women, is that their collective grade point average must reach or exceed three point one throughout, or they will be in violation of their parole and making a return trip to court.” “I can live with that. Miss Bjornsen, do I need to poll each of you, or can you agree to these terms on behalf of your sorority house?” “We all agree, Your Honor … to these, and the additional term that has yet to be mentioned.” “Mr. Ballstrom?” “There is one additional element, Your Honor, and it is … unprecedented. However, before introducing it, I would like to request a recess so that Professor Grady can discuss the matter in private with Mister Belmondo. Rather than clear the courtroom, Your Honor, in the interests of time I would suggest that you allow them the use of your chambers.” Judge Reynolds stared hard at Q-Ball before coming to an abrupt decision. “Mister Ballstrom … Professor … Miss Bjornsen … in my quarters, now!” The Judge stormed out of the room, leaving a flabbergasted bailiff belatedly to announce that court was now in recess. Priscilla dashed through the gate, and followed in Ian's wake. She had smelling salts in her purse, and was prepared to intercede if this meeting went completely off the rails. . . . . “Knock, knock,” Vickie announced as she waltzed into Rita's office and dropped into her accustomed chair. “I only have one of Ian's diapers left in my bag. You got any?” “No, but not to panic. I washed and dried all the diapers that Sarah bought you when I got home last night, and I brought a dozen in with me. So, if we can get by with changing you three times a shift, we're good until early next week. Are you still continent?” “Hard to say. I'm peeing like a race horse, and my bowel control is shot. The breast milk is running right through me the same way it does Ian. I shit myself before bed, but Mommy changed me, and she was sweet about it. Same thing this morning. My diaper was absolutely soaked, and I messed at least once during the night. At the rate I'm going, I figure that in the near future I'll be going through about a dozen diapers a day.” “And you just walked in here without your winter coat while wearing your hospital diaper. Vickie, it is pretty obvious; are you becoming more comfortable with your diapers? With incontinence?” “Yes, definitely, and as odd as it might sound, I'm enjoying this.” Vickie frowned, sensing that she had misspoken. “That's not quite right. It's more like I'm benefiting from this … like it's therapy.” Rita leaned forward in her chair. She had occasionally wondered about the wellspring of Vickie's madcap lifestyle, but she had never questioned her. The wall of silence that surrounded her parents had always hinted at underlying emotional trauma. “When she was cleaning me up this morning, Sarah apologized for not paying attention to the warning signs … how I never talk about my family. She hugged me, and told me that I now had a mommy who loved her … cherished her … and that I would always be her little baby girl. And I started crying … bawling, really … and I couldn't stop. I was screaming that my parents had never loved me, and she was hugging me, telling me how much she loved me, and it felt so good to be loved … to be her baby girl. I need this, Rita; I really do!” “I'm glad, Vic … really glad, because if things go according to plan, on Saturday night you will be sleeping in your bed for the last time. It's going into storage. It's a tight fit, but yesterday I had another crib delivered and set up in the nursery-- your crib. You and Ian will both be our babies, and receive the love and the discipline that we think you deserve. You can be grown-ups with one another, but babies for us. Giving you a place in both worlds will allow you to heal, even as you express your love for one another.” “But … but … Auntie Rita, does this mean that you and Mommy aren't going to sleep with Ian?” “Oh, no, baby girl, far from it. Look, maybe it's the conversation we had last night, or maybe it's the one I'm having with Ian this afternoon, but I've been giving this a lot of thought. The way it looks is that you love Ian, and want children to be the outcome of that love. You want this so badly that I can easily see you throwing over your career to become a stay at home mom, and that's fine. But Sarah and I have careers that we're not giving up, only to have discovered at the eleventh hour that we also want to have children. We have both chosen Ian to be the father, and if that sounds calculating … well, it is. Oh, we do love him, but not in the way you see in the movies or read about in romance novels. He's a wonderful man, Vic, warm and giving, but also wounded and vulnerable and very complex. Passion is wonderful, but he also needs comforting-- a wife's love, and a mother's. So it's good that I'm a bit more comfortable with the baby than the man, and Sarah much prefers the baby to the man. I don't know where her control issues are coming from, but ultimately it doesn't matter because we need her. The bottom line, Vic? I don't want to run the household, and … sorry, but it's just not your thing. We can't do this without Sarah, so all of us are going to have to compromise. It looks like you will get to have the man to yourself most of the time; I'll settle for a piece of your action, and Sarah, I suspect, won't even be a disturbance in the Force!” “It all seems so cold … a household devoid of warmth ...” “Like an arranged marriage, you mean?” Rita softly laughed. “Well, it is an arranged marriage-- Sarah is arranging it! But they endure, Vic, and they tend to become more and more loving with the passage of time. And as for warmth?” Rita clapped her hands with delight, her eyes alive with good humor. “With two naughty babies in perpetual need of yet another spanking, you'll find that there's plenty of warmth in our household!” . . . . “Right,” Judge Reynolds snorted, “which one of you wants to tell me what's going on.” “Professor Grady will take it from here,” the DA quickly responded. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and this fiasco as possible. The judge simply looked at Ian. “Have you ever heard of Tony Accardo,” Ian asked. Reynolds shook his head. Uh, oh, Ballstrom thought. He was well acquainted with the Big Tuna, if only by reputation. “Tony heads up the Chicago Outfit-- a euphemism for the Mafia. He worked his way up through the ranks the old fashioned, Chicago way. His nickname, Joe Batters, doesn't leave much to the imagination. He mentored Belmondo, who seems to get a hard on around wood chippers. In short, Tippi here and her friends out there are in a lot of trouble. With your cooperation, I can make it go away.” Welcome to the real world, Tom ... Ballstrom had his head down. He was studying a speck of something on the carpet, wishing that he could make himself equally small. “Go on,” the Judge instructed. “We're going to make the punishment fit the crime, at least as Spats will see it. The girls are going to become his customers … diapers 24/7 for the whole of their probation. He'll get off on humiliating them, and turn a tidy profit in the process.” “And you think this lunacy will be enough to buy him off??” Ian nodded. “I've got some serious leverage that I can bring to bear, both carrots and sticks. But none of it is for public consumption. Give me ten minutes alone with him, and I'll seal the deal.” “Gareth, are you good with this?” Reynolds was done dancing around. “Yeah,” Ballstrom conceded. “Belmondo can't risk the consequences of a public humiliation, and I won't be reelected if he's going around bumping off sorority girls.” “And you think this man can make the pitch work?” The Judge was pointing at Ian. “I do.” “And how about you, Priscilla?” The Canons and the Reynolds lived on the same block, a mere four properties separating the two households. Reynolds considered himself lucky to have a grizzled veteran like Herb Canon living just down the street. “You can take anything Ian tells you to the bank.” Short and sweet. “And you are here … because?” “Part bodyguard, part nurse,” she replied. “Ian is a hot commodity that the university doesn't want to lose, so I've been assigned to keep the corporate headhunters at bay. But he also brought Viet Nam home with him in the form of flashbacks that can put him on the ground. So, I'm also here to get him back on his feet.” “All right. Professor, I don't know who you are, and from the looks of Gareth's body language, I'm content to leave it that way. You've got your ten minutes-- and help yourself to coffee. My clerk brews a mean pot!” . . . . “Be right back,” Julia said. Patting Herb's knee to reassure him, Julia headed toward the rear of the courtroom. Prudence dictated that she confront Belmondo on neutral ground. Herb followed her with his eyes, and so did Walt Mischof. “Not to worry, Herb,” the Chief muttered. “Spats is too smart to make his play in a crowded courtroom.” “How's business, Jerome? Ambulance chasing still paying the bills?” Julia had taken a seat directly in front of Jerome Goldstein, the white-haired attorney who had been running interference for Spats Belmondo for almost thirty years. “Making ends meet,” Goldstein laconically replied. He wasn't in the mood to play games with Julia Canon. Julia opened her purse, and pulled out a copy of her billing. She turned to face Spats, and thrust it in his face. “Tuesday's expenses came to nine hundred, fifty seven dollars and twenty-six cents. I haven't had a chance to work up yesterday's, but they'll be in the same neighborhood. A thousand up front would be nice.” “Pay da lady, Pauly,” Spats said to his Consigliere, who leaned forward to drop an envelope on the chair next to Julia's. She opened it, and quickly thumbed the ten C notes inside. “Do you want a receipt?” “What I want is an explanation for hows I ended up on da local news. Yous was supposed ta do this real quiet like.” “Take it up with Jerome. He apparently missed the lecture on setting up dummy corporations to hide the assets of clients who value their privacy.” “Dat right, Jerry?” Spats was glaring at his mouthpiece. “Your businesses are all legitimate, Vincent; you don't need fronts.” Jerome's tone was world weary. “Dats right, Twinkster; everytings legit. Only now, every two bit hood in da Cities knows that I deal in diapers, and dat I been ripped off by a bunch a college floozies. Dis ain't good … not good at all.” “Not to worry, Spats. Professor Grady-- one of your customers, by the way-- is selling it to the judge as we speak.” “Selling what?” “A plan that will make you a tidy profit if you play along. And you get to stick a fire hose up their asses in the process.” Julia nodded in the general direction of the young defendants. “I like da sound a dat.” Spats was licking his lips; after all, he was in business to make a profit. There was no such thing as too much cash on hand. “Then follow the Professor's lead.” Dropping the envelope into her purse, Julia walked across the courtroom to rejoin her husband. . . . . “Diapers aren't all that bad, Tippi-- especially when you've got the right person changing you.” Ian playfully winked at her. “Maybe we can change each other,” Tippi fired back, staring him down. After the judge had sneaked out of his chambers to pay a lengthy visit to the Men's Room with the District Attorney hot on his heels, Ian had escorted Tippi back to her friends while nudging Priscilla in the direction of her parents. There could be no witnesses to his conversation with Spats Belmondo. Sauntering to the rear of the courtroom, Ian sat down in the same seat that Julia had occupied a few minutes earlier. He took Goldstein's measure in one casual glance, but did a double take when he shifted his attention to the Consigliere. I swear to God! It's Toothpick Charlie, risen from the dead! Ah, well … time to get down to business … “Mister Belmondo, I'm Professor Ian Grady, one of Lullaby's adult customers. I'm happy with the product, and with the way your niece sees to my needs, but there are alternatives in the marketplace that offer superior protection. I'm wearing one right now.” Ian stood up, and turned around to give the trio a good look at his well padded rear. “Your business is about to expand, so if you'll give me your number, I'll set you up with a purchasing agent at the hospital who can point you in the right direction.” “Mister Belmondo's number is unlisted,” Goldstein interrupted, “but I'm in the phone book.” “Don't have a copy. Why don't you and Toothpick Charlie here go out and find me one? Spats and I have pressing matters to discuss, and the judge has been kind enough to offer us his chambers. He's even willing to share his coffee!” Ian looked down at the gangster with a pleasant smile on his lips, but his eyes were cold. Spats recognized the look. He was being measured for his coffin. “So you're da war hero dat I keep hearin' about.” Spats decided to bluff it out. “How many guys you clipped?” “The official count is eleven hundred, plus. The real number is north of twenty three hundred.” Ian's look did not change. “The judge is giving us the use of his chambers for ten minutes. Shall we?” Ian vaguely gestured at the door behind the bench. “Yeah. Let's get to it.” Spats climbed to his feet, double checked the shine on his shoes, and then followed Ian out of the courtroom. . . . . Priscilla was watching the girls milling around in the well of the court. Most of them looked totally lost. “Do you think any of them have made their phone call,” she asked Bernice. “I thought that was just on TV,” the house mom replied. “You mean it's for real?” Priscilla nodded. “An attorney … a loved one … the really crazy ones will call out for pizza.” “No.” Bernice sadly shook her head. “I don't think anyone's called; they're way too ashamed.” “Some of their parents must have seen the news last night. They'll be frantic. Did any of them call the house before you left?” “I don't know. The last thing I did after getting Ian settled was go around the public areas and unplug all the phones. I don't want to speak with the press, and I definitely don't want them upsetting the few girls left in the house.” “We should talk to them. They may not even know that they have the right to contact their families. Come on; let's go find out.” Priscilla led Bernice inside the railing, and together they approached Tippi, who was clearly the leader of the group and not just its spokesperson. “How are you holding up,” Bernice asked. “Oh, it's been great fun so far!” Tippi's reply was as vicious as it was sarcastic, and she was aiming daggers at Priscilla. “Comfortable beds … first class food … and we've made some new friends. Ruby is a real hoot!” “You are all entitled to make phone calls.” Priscilla decided to ignore the sarcasm. “Did anyone call your parents? Your arrests were all over the ten PM news; they must be worried sick.” “Anyone,” Bernice asked in a softer tone of voice. The girls were looking at one another, and shaking their heads. “We'll wait until we have something tangible to report.” Priscilla dearly wanted to slap Tippi Bjornsen hard enough to knock her down, then beat some sense into the self-absorbed brat. Instead, she spun away, looked up at the ceiling, took a deep breath, and tried to calm down. God, give me strength!!! “I'm disappointed in all of you,” Bernice continued, her voice still soft. “There's a man in there giving you life lessons in the meaning of compassion. He's one of your victims, and yet he's in there trying to shield you from the consequences of your actions. And none of you seem to get it … none of you.” “We're all afraid,” Janis sobbed. “I understand that Janis. And how do you think your parents feel right now? You know what's going on … they don't. I doubt if they got any sleep last night, and now their imaginations must be running riot. They love you, and they need to hear you say that you're safe. The rest will sort itself out in time.” . . . . “Vinnie, I need to make a quick call. Why don't you pour us a couple of cups of coffee?” Without waiting for a response, Ian pulled Marilyn Marsden's card out of his wallet, and dialed her home number. It seemed highly unlikely that either of the Marsdens would have gone to work this morning. “Hello?” Marilyn picked up on the first ring. “Ian Grady here, Marilyn … and by here, I mean in the chambers of the judge who got stuck handling this case. Has Janis called you?” “No! Oh, God, Ian, what's going on? We've been up all night, waiting for the phone to ring … praying ...” “Marilyn, your daughter is safe … confused, scared, probably afraid that you're going to disown her, but safe. It was your typical fraternity row stunt, only it got out of hand. Right now, I'm putting the finishing pieces on an agreement that the District Attorney and Judge Reynolds have already signed off on, so with luck, Janis will be out of here in another half hour or so. Now, can you do me a favor?” “Yes! Of course, Ian; thank you!” Ian could hear Marilyn telling her husband that Janis was okay. “I'm guessing,” Ian explained when Marilyn got back on the line, “that there are a lot of worried parents who've had rough nights. Do you know how to get a hold of them?” “Yes. Bernice gives every parent a sheet with the home addresses and phone numbers of all the girls. It's for emergencies.” “Understood. I'd like you to call everyone on the list, and let them know that their daughters are safe. They should also take a peek at their check books. I don't know who's who here, but there are forty one girls who are going to be fined twenty-five hundred dollars each as part of their punishment. I'll lay out the rest of it once the judge enters his decree.” “Are you taking the girls back to the house?” “I'd like to take them to the hospital, but first I have to see about transport. Give me time to sort it out, and I'll get back to you.” “Ian, I don't know how or why you're mixed up in this, but thank you. From the bottom of my heart … thank you.” “Touching,” Spats grunted when Ian hung up; “very, very touching.” Spats handed Ian a cup, and took a sip of his own. The gangster curled his lips in satisfaction. “Not too shabby,” he nodded; “in fact, not bad at all.” “First things, first.” Ian took a sip, and nodded his approval. “I've checked out your dad, and I know that Tomasso emigrated from Naples, but that's where the trail goes cold. What can you tell me about your grandparents?” “Wat da hell? Whys you int ... er ... rested in my family?” “Vinnie, cut it out. As bootleggers go, your dad was a good soldier, able to work with both Capone and the Purple Gang. However, Tomasso did not want his sons to follow him into the rackets, so he scrimped and saved to provide you with a high quality, private school education. And you did so well that you ended up a Brown Phi Beta Kappa, class of forty eight … next stop, a Princeton MBA. Which reminds me: my source is also a Princeton man, and he wants to know whether you still remember the fight song.” Here comes that Tiger, wow! He's running wild, They'll never stop him now! "There are several fight songs,” Spats grinned as he settled back in one of the judge's plush chairs, “but Here Comes That Tiger is my favorite. And I'm impressed Grady … really impressed. I've put a lot of time and effort into the Spats Belmondo persona, and you're the first person to crack it in all the years I've been in the Cities. What gives?” “I'm interested in your grandfathers … whether the family's roots are in Naples, or Sicily.” “Sicily. We hail from Catania … still got family there.” “Antonio?” “WHAT?” Spats was so surprised that he almost shot out of his chair. “You know my cousin?” “I've employed his services,” Ian acknowledged. “Good man to know when you need to get in and out of Libya without the authorities being any the wiser.” “Holy shit, if you'll pardon my French. How is the old reprobate?” “Prospering. A wife who cooks up a storm, and a discreet mistress. Life is good.” “And do I want to know how a disabled vet teaching out here in flyover country happens to be chummy with a Mafia don in Sicily?” Ian curled his lips thinking about it. “I do favors for friends with a wide range of international interests. That good enough?” “It'll do,” Spats shrugged. The Professor had CIA written all over him. DA's and judges didn't bow and scrape before every Tom, Dick and Harry. “Okay, here's the deal. First, the girls out there are all off limits. No repercussions of any kind. If that causes you any problems with the Big Tuna, let me know, and I'll make them go away. In return for this favor, as I said, I'm going to help you grow your diaper business. The forty one girls out there are going to become customers, and they don't get out of diaper prison until they graduate. You'll make a few bucks, and have a good laugh over your cigars and sambuca.” “Second, you're going to get a letter next week from the IRS. You've been selected for a seven year audit of your personal and business filings-- a comprehensive audit, the kind where they want proof that you actually tossed those nickels and dimes into the Salvation Army kettle. If you can't support every claim on every line of every form, they're going to crucify you.” “Let me guess. I agree to leave the girls alone, and this all turns out to be a great, big mistake.” “Yep. They'll be a handwritten telephone number at the bottom, left corner of the cover letter. Pick up the phone, and you'll be treated to abject apologies for a filing error. We got a deal?” “We got a deal,” Spats agreed. “Good.” Ian settled back in his chair. “Now let's get down to business.” “Huh? I thought we were talking business!” “Just preliminaries. My sources tell me that you would like to visit the old country, but are afraid that if you leave, you'll be denied reentry. Well, I want you to do me a little favor, and in return it's bon voyage, happy trails, however you want to put it.” “How little?” “The families still taking an interest in the food services industry?” “Are you kidding,” Spats laughed. “I'm the union rep for the SEIU in this burg!” “Well, I'm in the market for a rather odd piece of information, and I want the search to be nationwide. What I'm after is an unusual delivery, probably scheduled monthly or twice a month, to someplace remote and easy to defend. Security will probably be heavy, but it may be well concealed. The tell that there's something wrong will be in the cereals.” Utterly mystified, Spats simply shook his head. “You've lost me completely.” “The order will include kids' cereals … quite a large quantity of them.” “Shit.” Spats saw it instantly. “Kids are off limits, Professor. I want you to know that … inside the families, kids are off limits.” “It's the same with us. We've all got families, and we're all exposed. So, it's a hard, red line. You cross it, and the entire intelligence community sanctions you … nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It's open season, and an agent whose family has been targeted gets first crack.” Spats nodded his head. It was beginning to sound like the Families had a lot in common with the CIA. “Your friends should also be on the lookout for a second tell-- a sudden increase in supplies on regular order. Now that I've surfaced, I'm expecting security at this facility to be reinforced.” Ian leaned forward in his chair, his cup of coffee forgotten. “Nine years ago, while I was laid up in a hospital figuring out how to cope with wearing diapers for the rest of my life? Back in Viet Nam, someone murdered my wife and massacred an entire village in order to run off with my daughter, all in the hope that she's inherited my gift for languages. I want her back, Vincent, and then I'm going to sanction everyone of the bastards involved. If you want a piece of the action, I'll deal you in, and I'll make it worth your while.” “I'm in.” Spats got up and walked over to the desk. He grabbed a pen and pad, and hastily wrote a number. “My personal number,” he said as he handed Ian the scrap of paper. “Anything you need? You got it.” Ian took a business card out of his wallet, and handed it over. “A pizza joint out in Bloomington, and it's a legit business. If you come up with the information I'm looking for, call this number and order a large pie. If the info is rock solid, make it a thick crust; if it's sketchy, a thin. When you're asked what type of cheese you want, say Gorgonzola. The response will be 'sorry, we're all out, but if you leave me a phone number, I'll make one for you free of charge'. The call back will set up a rendezvous; I'm thinking Julia Canon's office, which is right across the street from the hospital. I take it you've been there?” “Works for me,” Spats agreed. “One last thing. Is it true that you've got a cabin somewhere near Ely?” “Yeah … some of the boys like to go hunting.” “Got a wood chipper up there?” “In good working order.” The gangster's smile was cruel. “I might need to use it one of these days.” Ian wasn't smiling at all.

I have a question, if you are using cloth every time, why the disposable under it? Why not an extra layer or soakers of cloth as you have to do the laundry in any case, and avoid the cost of the disposable>

Chapter 9 : A Twin Festival? Welcome back, my JJ Little Baby Besties. Did you have a nice nap? Or did you sleep well through the night? Or are you just about to get all cozy for another bedtime story? If you need a fresh diapey, don’t worry. I, Miss Jillian, your temporary mommy for the duration of this detailed account of the progression of my diapered life, will patiently wait for you while you get out of that wet and/or messy diapey. In a fresh diapey now? Good baby. Mommy Jill will continue with her story now. Where we last left off, I officially began my first ever JillianPlays stream on Twitch. Despite how fun the turnout was, it was a whole lot of fun. Now I want you to hang on to your diapeys, because I’m going to hit the fast forward button. We are now 28 days into the future. I was in my twin sister Jen’s room, where we were both putting on our Wendy Darling costumes. A blue short sleeved night gown with a blue bow that we each wore in our hair. We each needed to get our hair cut short to match the same length as her’s. With my sister being super crazy about the details, we even had our hair dyed to match the same golden-brown color. From where the bow was tied, seven strands of hair hung behind it, each strand rolled into a perfect curl. The costumes were perfect, and from all the Wendy cosplays that I saw online, I would have to say that ours was the best. It was Thursday evening when we had our third and final costume rehearsal. Both Jen and I would get into our Wendy costumes and style each other’s hair, and then watch the animated Peter Pan one more time. And with it being the 12th time that we have seen the movie together, I could almost recite every line of the movie by heart. We would watch the movie, and we would then go off to bed. Everything was ready to go for the next day. Our luggage bags sat in the living room, all fully packed. The plane tickets sat on the kitchen table, along with a detailed itinerary that my sister printed out. Jen also drew out $1,000, so we each had $500 for spending money. All that remained was watching the Disney classic one more time before going off to bed. As Jen was about to play the Peter Pan Blu-Ray (we couldn’t stream it on Disney Plus because they removed the movie for stupid woke reasons), she gave me a quizzical look. “Um, Jill?” she asked me with a worried look that conveyed a deep level of concern. “Can you use the bathroom before we start?” Now there was a reason why Jen’s request was so urgent. The last time that we watched Peter Pan (which was just four days ago), I forgot to use the bathroom. In the middle of the movie, I felt my pants getting all warm and moist. Before I knew it, the couch cushion that I was sitting on was soaked in a puddle of pee, which was quickly soaking into the fabric of the cushion. With that, my twin sister paused the movie and had me go take a shower and clean up. While I did this, she began wiping down the cushion. She then sprayed the cushion with stain remover and sat it out to dry. Since that incident that evening, my sister made it clear. I was going to be wearing a diaper for the rest of the movie. And it was a good thing that I did. Towards the end of the movie, I had a much smaller accident, which was barely enough for me to even detect that there was any dampness at all in my diaper. So at my sister’s request to use the bathroom before we started the movie, I gave her an embarrassed nod as I hurried to the bathroom. I had to pee, but just not really bad. I sat down on the toilet and after about 15 seconds of peeing, my bladder was empty again. After I washed my hands and left the bathroom as I let them air dry, I returned to the living room and sat down in the dark living room, where only the faint glow coming from the UHD TV could be seen. Jen started the movie and began watching Peter Pan for the 12th time. Now wait a second! I can tell what you are thinking. Mommy Jillian, what happened during those 28 days that you skipped? If it concerns you, my JJ Diapered fam, not to worry. Mommy Jill has prepared the perfect summary of all the key things that have transpired for the last 28 days. So pop in that pacie and enjoy this wonderful recap. For day two of the stream, it was pretty much more of the same. I didn’t get any new followers or subscribers but I had the same audience. GaretheBear, JtheCalcugamer, JennyPenny2001, and Glytter all watched me finish Super Mario Bros. 2 (Lost Levels) and complete three more dungeons in The Legend of Zelda. From my close call with the bathroom yesterday, I decided to wear diapers during my streams. During my first break, I changed into a new diaper before returning to my bedroom. With this new schedule, I was now fully diapered for the rest of the day after starting my streams. But this also meant that I was going through a lot more diapers. With the diapers originally intended for nighttime use, I was now using them out of convenience for my streams, before changing into my nightly one for bedtime. Having done the math, I was now going through 19 diapers per week. Getting back to the stream, Glytter didn’t quite have my emotes done, but promised that they would be finished by Monday. Sure enough, Monday came and the emotes were finished as promised. While my emote library could hold a maximum of 35 emotes and 5 animated slots, Glytter managed to complete five emotes to start me off. These emotes included JillianHopeful, JillianYAY, JillianHug, JillianCry, and JillianVictory. Each emote portrayed a cartoon image of me portraying the expression based on the emote’s name. For next week’s batch of new emotes, Glytter promised me my first animated emote. After streams, I spent some time trying to figure out what subs to categorize each emote in for my emote library. With me wearing diapers a lot more often, it has become increasingly more difficult to control the function of my bladder. On Sundays and all during the week before my streams, I could only hold in my bladder for about an hour before I had an accident, so trips to the bathroom were a lot more frequent. After an embarrassing trip to 7-Eleven for Slurpee Day, both Jen and I agreed. From that point on, I would need to wear diapers in public, making long dresses or baggy jeans a must to hide my diaper. The Infamous 7-11 accident happened on a day that Jen decided to work from home. She took a break for us to get our Slurpees and spend an hour at King of Prussia mall. Jen and I had to use the bathroom before we started to look around for clothes at different stores. Before we could even enter the bathroom, I couldn’t hold it anymore. From all that I drank from the Slurpee, I felt my pants getting warm as the pee ran down my legs and formed a puddle right outside the bathrooms. To avoid any further embarrassment from all who saw this act, Jen quickly took me into a family bathroom (More privacy! Thank goodness!) and had me wait there while she bought me a new panty, a new pair of pants, and a new graphic tee. About 25 minutes later, she came back with my new clothes and a plastic bag where she stuffed in all the clothes that I pissed on. But that didn’t help my self-esteem. For the rest of the trip home, I was crying my eyes out while my sister glanced at me with compassion. From her facial expression, I knew that she wanted to hug me, but she couldn’t because she was driving me home. During the next four weekends, Gary took me out on dates every Saturday. I kept my promise with him to stay diapered while we were dating. During the first weekend, Gary bought me three more bags of Certainty Unisex Fitted Briefs. That’s 96 more diapers now. During the four weeks of my July dates with Gary, I only managed to make it to the toilet two times. Both of those times were at his house, but I have found over the past month that my ability to control my bladder was getting much worse. While we’re on the topic of bladder control, I noticed something even worse going on. During a lot of my streams, I get so focused on my game that I end up peeing my diaper without even knowing. I couldn’t tell you any instance when the accident actually happened. All I know is that I always have to check my diaper during the breaks and I found that it is soaked every time. At this point, I considered trying to re-potty train myself, but I dismissed the thought for now, as Twins Days was growing ever closer with each day. One thing that I can be grateful for is that my bowels were still functioning properly. During my new shift to wearing diapers more often, all of my poops are still in the toilet. So what about searching for a job? At that point in my Twitch career, Twitch just wasn’t paying the bills. All during the days, my first job was to find a job. Every week, I submitted new applications for anchor positions around Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Boston, Baltimore, and the large metro area surrounding New York City. And during that whole month, I wasn’t scheduled for a single interview. So while I did my first job, my fun Twitch job continued after work hours. And how was my “second” job going? Over the whole month, I managed to play most of the classic Nintendo games that would be recommended to someone who has never played video games before. After completing around 20 games, I started playing some Switch games that my sister had in her catalogue. I fell in love with Animal Crossing: New Horizons and dedicated an hour of my stream to the game every day. I can see why my sister loves the character Isabelle so much. She’s such an adorable dog. While I was having fun, my Twitch career was still a no-go. 11 new followers during my second week. 12 new followers during my third week. Eight new followers during my fourth week. And 0 new followers during this week. Altogether, I only had 15 subscribers during my first month, and they were all Tier 1, since this was the only option, and I didn’t have Tier 2 and Tier 3 emotes available yet. And I made a whopping $37.43 for July. Strike that. During week four, someone donated 10,000 bits to my channel. Since Twitch keeps 50% of all earned bits, that’s another 50 bucks. I better get that day job. During those weeks, I started to get to know Glytter more, and she gave me 15 more emotes and 3 animated emotes. This gave me a total of 20 out of 35 emotes and 3 out of 5 animated emotes. The 15 additional slots included JillianIceCream, JillianRage, Jillian100 (me holding a yellow 100), JillianLOL, JillianHangry, JillianSmile, JillianMario (an animated me wearing a Mario hat), JillianGasp, JillianNO (me closing my eyes in defeat), JillianFriendship (me looking forward with open arms), JillianAnchor (me dressed up like a news anchor), JillianSnack (me holding a dorito), JillianSip (me holding my mouth to a can of Mountain Dew), JillianTaco (me holding a taco), and JillianSecret (Me holding a golden key). The three animated emotes included JillianPOP (a looping animation of me opening my mouth showing a wide and exaggerated circle), JillianDance (a looping animation of me shaking my waist back and forth with my eyes closed), and JillianCheer (a looping animation of me alternating my two hands up and down dressed up as a cheerleader). Nobody had any access to these new emotes, as I was still trying to determine what Sub Tiers to assign each of the emotes to. This would be figured out after Jen and I come back from the Twins Days Festival. And after yesterday’s stream, Glytter finally gave me her cellphone number and I exchanged mine with her as well. Among one of the things that that Glytter has revealed to me, her real name is Alyssa Glynnda Evans. From her middle name, I can see where “Glytter” came from. Since we have exchanged numbers, I have not received a call from Glytter yet. For my job search today (August 3rd), I came across an open anchor position right in downtown Philadelphia. When I googled the location, I just couldn’t believe it. The news station was only eight city blocks north of Metro City Apartments (AKA home of the Jenners Twins). I could almost walk to this job as this was less than a mile away. It was CBS Philadelphia, and they were looking for an evening news anchor. I made no hesitation in applying for this job. I emailed my polished résumé with my best credentials: Cover letter, references, letters of recommendation, and work samples from my internship in Cleveland. I then crossed my fingers, hoping that I could get this job. And with that, there’s really not much more to say about what happened over the last month, besides Jen and I getting ready for the Twins Days Festival. All the matching outfits that we bought and the Wendy costume that my sister has been working so hard on. And not to mention all the numerous evenings that we spent watching Peter Pan (which would be late at night before bed on stream nights). This morning, I packed everything that I would need for Twins Days. Since I probably needed more diapers than just the ones that I wore at night, I would be needing a separate luggage bag just to hold all of my diapers. Fortunately, Jen had an extra luggage bag for me to use. Having done the math, I would be needing at least 3-4 diapers per day for this trip. That would be Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, when we were coming back to Philadelphia. To be safe, I packed 16 diapers just in case I had any additional accidents. When I was about to pack some of my panties in my clothes luggage, Jen gave me a funny look. “Jill,” she said, picking up one of my Victoria Secret panties. “Are you really going to be wearing underwear there? With you mostly wearing diapers there, I really don’t think this is a good idea. What if you have another accident?” I grabbed the panty from my sister and put it back in the bag. I then blushed. “It’s just an afterthought. If I have just one accident, I promise that I’ll be wearing diapers the rest of the time there!” Jen sighed. “Okay. I really don’t want you to humiliate yourself there, but I can’t stop you. Just know that you are going to wear a diaper on the airplane!” I laughed at my sister’s recommendation. “Duh…” I could still freshly remember the embarrassing accident that I had while flying to Cleveland more than a month ago. For my clothes bags, I packed five outfits. I would be wearing the sixth one tomorrow morning, when my sister and I went to the airport. All of them were different colored crop tops with different colored knee-length skirts. My sister and I decided on this, since I needed a skirt long enough to hide my diaper. For pajamas, my sister bought a Joyspun Women’s Short Sleeve T-Shirt and Joggers Pajama set from Walmart that matched mine. We each had two sets of the same pajamas to save on luggage. To further save on luggage, I had my sister pack all my bras with her bras. She will also be packing both of the costumes but held off since she wanted to do one more costume rehearsal with the movie. She also packed a couple of swimsuits in case that we had time to use the pool. I likely wouldn’t use the pool, since I didn’t want to risk accidentally peeing in it. So altogether, between our clothes and toiletries, Jen had two suitcases with a large backpack purse for carryon and I had two suitcases with a large backpack purse for carryon (that Gary just bought me on our last July date. Thanks Gary!). Jen had all my bras, pajamas, swimsuit, and Twins Days Festival costume for Saturday. My backpack purse had all the normal cosmetics, plus four diapers (a day’s worth). Jen advised me to pack baby powder less than 12 ounces for carryon, or the powder could be confiscated by TSA. To meet TSA guidelines, I packed a 5-ounce container of Caldesene Baby Corn Starch powder with a small pack of wipes. Substances like creams were also not allowed by the TSA, so I couldn’t have anything like Aquaphor or Desitin unless it was in a checked luggage bag. The larger pack of wipes, along with my Aquaphor and larger container of baby powder was in my checked luggage with all of my other diapers. So, my JJ Little Besties, was that a good enough recap for you? You’re welcome. With all of the recap and preparations that I mentioned, we can now finally return to the present, where Jen and I were watching Peter Pan for the 12th time. Jen and I watched the entire movie. I had to pee again but was fortunately able to hold it this time. After the movie was over, I hurried to the bathroom to pee. I then went to my room to get ready for bed. I diapered myself again (now very much used to it at this point) and put a T-shirt on over my bra and pajama bottoms. Thanks to Gary keeping me plenty stocked, I had 95 diapers left (74 if you count all the diapers that I packed, including the one I will be wearing to the airport tomorrow morning). My diaper rustled against the cotton fabric in my pajama bottoms. I heard the loud crinkling as I quietly paced outside my room, my diaper being louder than my gentle steps. I entered my sister’s bathroom where I saw my sister in just her bra and pajama bottoms. She immediately turned her face as the loud crinkle of my diaper announced my arrival. Jen smiled and patted my pajama bottoms to hear the soft pat from my diaper. I gave her a grimace. She then gave me a hug. “Sorry Jill. Just messing with you. It’s a love pat! We’re twins. We’re best friends. It’s the best friendship anyone could have. And we get to celebrate it tomorrow. Aren’t you excited?” I nodded. “I am. I just wanted to say goodnight.” Jen held up an electric toothbrush that had a glob of toothpaste on it. “Good night, Jilly Bean!” I tapped my finger on my sister’s nose and smiled. “Good night, Jenny Penny!” Jen brushed her teeth, and I left her bedroom. I then entered my bedroom and shut off the lights. I then got underneath the covers of my queen size bed. I closed my eyes and smiled, looking forward to the start of Twins Days Festival tomorrow… I awoke to a very loud alarm at 4:50 in the morning. From what Jen told me yesterday, Gary would be riding with Joey and taking us to the airport at 5:50 AM sharp, since our flight departs at 8:20 AM at Philadelphia International Airport (PHL), and it is recommended that we get to the airport two hours before our flight departs. Full of excitement with what this day has to offer, I quickly got up and made my bed. I then entered the bathroom and took a quick shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and around my breasts and went back into my bedroom. Instead of putting on my panties, I grabbed the diaper that I had sitting on the floor the night before and powdered it before diapering myself. It felt strange putting on a diaper in the morning instead of my panties that I was so used to wearing after getting ready in the morning. I put on my bra and then the clothes that both Jen and I agreed upon for this day: a white crop top, a black knee-length skirt, a pair of Champion white low-cut socks, and a pair of Grey New Balance 993 Sneakers. I left my room and waited for my sister to finish showering and dressing up. About a minute later, I saw Jen walking out of her bedroom wearing the same exact outfit as me. “Good morning, Jill.” My sister Jen said with a smile. She then gave me a teasing stare. “Oh Jill! You’re dressed in the same outfit as me?” I understood the joke immediately and humored her. “But you’re wearing the same outfit as me! Even our shoes and socks match!” I felt around the butt of my skirt to feel the soft padding of my diaper and gave it a soft pat. “Wait. Are you wearing a diaper too?” I walked over and patted my sister in the behind, but all I felt was cotton. There was no padding. “Not exactly, Jill!” Jen grinned. She gave me a playful shove and laughed. “I don’t need to wear a diaper under my skirt. Everything that is visible is supposed to match.” I nodded and glanced down at my bust. “Are you wearing the same bra as me?” “Nope!” Jen said with a laugh. “Our bras are underneath our crop tops. Everything visible, you silly goose.” I then shot Jen a double take. “Wait! Could we be…twins?” Now Jen was having a riot. Her smile widened as her eyes conveyed a look of sarcasm. “Oh, I don’t know Jill! Us? Twins? It doesn’t seem very likely.” That did it. Our cheeks both reddened as we burst into laughter. “You better watch out,” I warned my sister, still laughing. “You’re not wearing a diaper.” This made Jen laugh even harder. “Jill…” Jen said, her eyes starting to water from all the laughter. “I have never peed myself from laughing too hard…” Our fit of laughter was interrupted when I heard two knocks on the apartment door. We both shouted the names of our boyfriends at exactly the same time. “Gary!” I shouted. “Joey!” Jen shouted. “They’re here!” we both shouted at the same time. We both grabbed the handle of the door at the same time and opened the door. I glanced at Gary and saw him darting his eyes back and forth. “Wait!” Gary said with a smile. “Which one is Jill?” Joey sighed. “You’re right! I can’t tell who Jen is!” We both gave playful jabs to our boyfriends. “Gary…” I said with a smile. “Come on. You know I’m Jen.” “Then I got the wrong one!” Gary said, maintaining the smirk on his face. He then began to laugh and dropped the act. “Jill, you look nice…” “What about me?” Jen asked in a tone that indicated that she was obviously joking. Joey gave both Jen and I a look of approval. “You both look very nice. Just like twins!” Jen nodded and looked at her cell phone. “5:32. We got about 15 minutes!” During the next five minutes, both my sister and I finished doing each other’s hair. We each had our hair French braided into two short pigtails. Both Gary and Joey gave us the thumbs up when our hair styles perfectly matched. With 10 minutes left, we all walked over to the table, and each grabbed a luggage bag. Both Jen and I each put our backpack purses on, and Jen grabbed the plane tickets and the itinerary before we all exited the apartment. On our way down to the parking deck, Gary tapped my backpack purse, which just so happened to be the exact same one as Jen’s. “What do you think? Do you think it will come in handy?” He leaned down and whispered into my ear. “Jill, I know how much more frequent your accidents are becoming. I figured that this would make it a lot easier to handle them. Plus, your bag matches your sister’s!” Joey caught notice of Gary glancing at my backpack purse. “Wow! A matching purse! Who could’ve planned something like that?” Joey winked his eye at Gary, who winked back. “Thanks.” Gary said to Joey, giving him a fist bump. We made our way to Joey’s car. I looked at it and gasped. “Another Mercedes?” Joey nodded. “Not just any Mercedes. A white Mercedes-Maybach GLS SUV. Got it in May as an early birthday gift from my father.” My jaw dropped. “Is your dad loaded? I know that Gary’s uncle is…” Joey and Jen exchanged glances. Joey then looked back at me. “In a way he is. But it wasn’t his own money.” “Then whose money is it?” “Inheritance.” Both Joey and Jen said at exactly the same time. Joey nodded. “My grandfather was wealthy, and he sadly passed away in April. Compared to what he inherited, this toy is just pocket change. Plus, it’s not his own money. He would never buy something that expensive with his own money. It was a very special early birthday gift given to me right after my grandfather’s passing…” “And at the same dealership.” Jen added. “We both got our cars on the same day.” The conversation continued as we packed everything into the Maybach. Joey and Gary got in the front of the SUV, while Jen and I rode in the back. As the SUV made its way down Eastbound I-76, I gasped. Jen gave me the look and glanced down at my skirt. “Is there something wrong, Jill?” She gently whispered into my ear. “Did you have an accident?” I shook my head. Gary looked back at me. “Maybe she forgot something back at the apartment. Should we turn back?” All eyes were now on me. Neither answer was correct. I came to the realization that I forgot to tell Jen about the job that I applied for yesterday. My anxious face became a smile. “Jen,” I announced. “I forgot to tell you that I applied for a job yesterday.” Jen nodded. “A job? I’m listening, Jill…” I beamed, as I continued explaining the job in detail. “It was for an evening news anchor for CBS Philadelphia.” Jen’s jaw dropped. “CBS Philadelphia?! Jill! That studio is right downtown! You wouldn’t even have to drive there!” Joey smiled, sharing the same excitement that was clearly visible in Jen’s eyes. He then glanced at me. “That’s great to hear! So, when’s the interview?” I frowned. “I just applied for the position yesterday. I wasn’t scheduled for an interview yet!” “Okay.” Joey said. “That’s skill good news. I’ll be praying that things go in your favor!” Jen placed her two hands on my arm. “That is such good news, Jill! I will definitely be praying…” Gary nodded. “Yeah. We all hope you get it!” After giving them the good news about the interview, the conversation died out to just a quiet discussion between Joey and Gary. Most of the discussion had to do with the latest video games and their plans for the weekend after dropping us off at the airport. The faint and quiet hum of the car made me fall asleep a couple times. Jen was kind enough to let me nod off instead of jolting me back awake. Finally, something forced me awake. Joey was getting off at the exit that went to Philadelphia International Airport. Exit 347A. The route continued down PA-291. We crossed the George C. Platt Memorial bridge. A couple minutes later, we were at the airport. We all got out of the Maybach. Both Joey and Gary helped Jen and I with our luggage and we walked in towards Airport Terminal A. I hugged Gary and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I kissed Gary back and smiled. “Take plenty of pictures!” Gary said with a smile. “I hope that you find your new purse to be helpful!” I smiled, wishing that I could just remain in Gary’s embrace forever. “I will! Both Jen and I will!” Meanwhile, my sister was enjoying her last moments with Joey before saying goodbye to him. By her timing, it looked like we both finished our goodbyes at the same time. The white Mercedes-Maybach GLS SUV drove off, leaving both me and Jen outside the entrance to Terminal A at Philadelphia International Airport. We both smiled as our twin adventure was about to begin. We both walked to the American Airlines kiosk to check in our four bags of luggage. I gave the woman clerk my two bags and Jen provided her with her two bags. While Jen was paying for the four bags by credit card, I glanced at the boarding pass that Jen gave me. Our flight was AAL1557. A nonstop flight leaving Philadelphia International Airport at 8:20 AM and arriving at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport at 9:58 AM. The plane that we would be riding in for this flight is an Embraer ERJ-175 jet, and I would be sitting in Seat 16F in the Main Cabin. Jen would be sitting in Seat 16D, right next to me. Since I am wearing a diaper, both Jen and I agreed that it would make more sense to have her sit in the aisle seat so it would give her easy access to the bathroom in the back of the plane more than seven rows back. A gentle nudge on my shoulders was an indication from Jen that she was finished paying for the checked bags. We both walked towards the TSA checkpoint, backpack purses on our backs. Despite it being just 6:18 in the morning, the line was still pretty busy for a Friday morning. About half of the people in line were dressed in business attire. The other half had a few elderly people, with a few young families with their children. One of them was a mother that was wheeling their little baby girl in a stroller. The girl looked totally out of it, wrapped in a blanket as the line slowly inched forward. After waiting in the line for almost a half hour, it was both Jen and I’s turn to go through the TSA checkpoint. A different woman that I didn’t recognize was pointing to a tray. Since I was wearing a skirt, all of my belongings were in my backpack purse. They then had me set my backpack purse on the conveyor belt, while I walked to the other side. My sister Jen did the same thing with her belongings. To my relief, the woman never made a single question about the contents of my belongings in my backpack purse. The belongings that I had in the smaller pouch of my backpack purse included my phone, my wallet, and a couple of stray retractable pens, and sticky notes incase I wanted to think of any other game ideas for my streaming channel during our more than an hour and a half trip to Cleveland. I grabbed my backpack purse when it came through the other side of the conveyor. A few seconds later, Jen picked up her backpack purse. We walked forward into Terminal A. I looked at my clock again. It was 6:54 AM. I let out a small yawn, as I still felt tired from waking up so early in the morning. As we walked through the terminal looking for our gate, we received a lot of looks from different people around the airport. Airport staff and various passengers all giving us positive remarks of how fascinating we were. They found it fascinating to see a pair of twins both dressed in exactly the same outfit from head to toe and carrying the same purses on our backs. A number of them have asked us what the occasion was to which we gave the same response: “We’re going to the Twins Days Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio.” This usually resulted in a few quick exchanges before we had to bid them farewell. Jen and I found the gate where our flight would be taking off. A4. We sat down in some nearby chairs and talked about Twins Days for the next hour. During this time, we both got a group text from Tina and Trisha, the twins that we met in Twinsburg about a month ago. They mentioned that they were with their boyfriends and that they couldn’t pick us up (This was not an issue since my sister already had another rental). They told us that registration began at 2:00 at Twinsburg High School and to look for them. At around 7:46, I felt a loud rumble in my stomach. I turned my face to my sister and groaned. “I’m hangry.” I told her. “Are you?” Just then, I heard a growl come from Jen’s stomach. “Yes Jill. I’m a little hungry myself. Why don’t we get some breakfast at Dunkin’?” I nodded, as a feeling of delight came over my face. “Let’s get the sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich again and see who can finish it first!” Jen gave me what I could interpret to be a competitive smile and nodded. “You’re on! I let you have the last round but you’re going down this time!” Both Jen and I got in the short line at Dunkin’ and waited for a few minutes. The people behind us and in front of us also gave us positive remarks on the way we were dressed. A young man in glasses with his wife, who also wore glasses wanted a quick picture with us, so we took it. The one lone middle-aged woman behind us volunteered to take the picture. We thanked them and continued forward in the line. Both Jen and I got a sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and our Dunkin’ mocha espressos. I made mine a large and Jen almost got a medium, but I talked her into a large. My rule for the weekend was that we order exactly the same thing. We took our food and drinks back to a set of seats near gate A4. The competition began, both of us holding our sandwiches in our hands. After the count of three, it began. We both ate our sandwiches, taking very generous bites. Jen seemed to be swallowing her food a little faster so I picked up my pace. But it was too late. As I was beginning to take my second to last bite, Jen placed the last bite in her mouth. She swallowed the sandwich just as I put the last bite in my mouth. She opened her mouth wide with an “ahhh’, indicating that there wasn’t a single piece of food left to chew. “I win!” Jen said, smiling. I swallowed my last bite of breakfast sandwich and gave her a sigh of defeat. “You win this round,” I told her, giving her my most competitive face. But it was all in fun. Both Jen and I laughed, and then glanced at our mocha espressos. We flipped the lids on the hot coffees and began sipping. I winced as I felt the sting on my tongue from the coffee. Still too hot. About 5 minutes later, our flight began boarding. When it got to our turn, both Jen and I boarded the plane. We walked through the passenger boarding bridge and got onto the airplane. As we walked down the aisle, I saw a few babies already sitting in their mother’s laps. I glanced at both my coffee that I was holding and my knee-length skirt, knowing that I shared something in common with the babies that were sitting there. When I sit down and drink my coffee, I am going to fill my pants, while I watch my twin sister squirm and hurry to a bathroom. Both Jen and I found 16D and 16F. I made myself comfortable in my window seat, hearing a noticeable crinkle as I sat down. Jen’s eyes darted towards me and she smiled, as I could only guess that she heard the same sound that I did. She glanced at me and whispered. “No accidents this time…” I nodded and tested the temperature of the coffee again. It was slightly hotter than warm, so I began gulping down the rest of my mocha espresso. I could taste the chocolatey syrup as I got to the bottom of the cup. Jen, on the other hand, took careful sips from her cup while I kept tapping my empty cup to rub it in. “Jill, I know what you are trying to do. If I drink this entire cup before we take off, I am going to have to pee so bad. You don’t want to see me have an accident, do you?” She gave me a playful face that indicated that she was only joking with me. About 10 minutes later, the plane began taxiing away from the gates and awaited its turn in the queue for the runway that it would be taking off from. A few minutes later, the plane began picking up speed. Faster and faster it went, before it defeated the laws of gravity. My ears started to pop as the altitude continued to increase. About 20 minutes later, I was hit with a very sharp sensation in my bladder. There was no way that I could hold it in for an hour this time. From my last bladder failure, I could only hold it in for 40 minutes now. With it just being 30 minutes, I could feel an intense warmth in my diaper as it began to swell and expand between my legs. After about 25 seconds, it was over. I grinned, now sitting in a very warm, wet, and squishy diaper. With the kind of face that Jen saw from me, she knew exactly what just happened. She whispered to me again. “I hope that doesn’t happen again or you may have a leak.” She then pointed to her coffee, which looked to be two-thirds full. I slouched a little, feeling the squishiness in my diaper. From my past experience with wearing diapers more often for the past month, I knew that my diaper could still hold at least another small wetting or two. My sister began looking at her cellphone while I got out my portable earbuds and began playing a playlist on Spotify. I listened to a few Muse songs. In the middle of the last song, I could feel my diaper getting warm once again. But it was only for a few seconds. Over the next hour, my bladder automatically operated itself on autopilot. It made several small trickles, which still wasn’t enough for the diaper to leak. I then glanced at my sister, who I noticed had an uncomfortable look on her face. She was starting to squirm and from the faded outline of her cup, it looked like she had only finished about three quarters of her coffee. She unbuckled her seatbelt, from which I could only draw one conclusion. She was not going to be able to make it to the bathroom after we landed. It had to be now, or I would be seeing my twin sister piss herself. The urgency filled my sister’s face as she leapt up from her seat and made a swift pace towards the back of the plane. A look of concern came over my face. Is Jen going to make it? Will she be having an accident? A couple minutes later, my sister returned to her seat. From what I saw, she was completely dry. There were no stains of pee running down the legs of her skirt. Meanwhile, I felt another brief period of warmth in my diaper. At this point, I didn’t know if it was a good idea for me to wear panties to Twinsburg High School. Was it worth the risk to see numerous sets of twins all stare at me while I piss myself? Within the next 10 minutes, the plane began its final descent onto the runway of Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. The plane touched down smoothly and began decelerating before it taxied towards the various passenger boarding bridges that connected to the gates. As the plane was finishing its connection to the bridge, I reached under my skirt and felt my diaper. It was very soaked at this point. I just knew that the bathroom was the first place that I would be stopping at after I got off the plane. We both stood up and awaited our turn to get off the plane. Jen showed me her coffee, which had just a couple sips left. She sipped the remaining lukewarm drops and resealed the top. After walking down the passenger boarding bridge, we exited through gate C8. From just walking from the plane to the gate, I felt a heavy sag in my diaper. I glanced at my sister, and she knew exactly what I wanted without me saying a word. “I kind of have to go, too.” Jen told me. “Let’s use the bathroom.” We entered the women’s bathroom, and I found a handicap stall that happened to be vacant. I entered and locked the stall. I then placed my backpack purse on the floor. I unzipped the main pouch and pulled out a plastic bag. I reached underneath my skirt and undid my diaper. I wadded it up and stuffed it in the plastic bag. I got out some baby wipes and began wiping the dried pee off myself. I got out a new diaper and unfolded it. I sat it above the toilet and sprinkled some Caldesene Baby Corn Starch powder on it. I then sprinkled a little in my hands and began rubbing it around my diaper area. I pressed the diaper against the wall and my butt against the diaper and proceeded to diaper myself while standing up. Having done this a few times at the mall on my dates with Gary, I was starting to get good at this. I tied up the plastic bag and zipped it back inside my backpack purse. After the diaper change, I washed my hands and dried them off with paper towels. My sister, who was already done, was standing outside of the bathroom, waiting. We then went to the baggage claim and found our luggage bags. I checked the cell phone. It was now 11:17 AM. It would still be a little more than two hours before registration began at Twinsburg High School. We left the airport with our bags and found the same rental place as before. The car that we ended up with was not a Chrysler Pacifica this time, but a red Toyota Camry SE. Jen checked the mileage and took a picture of it with her cellphone. She also took a picture of the fuel level and the range (which read 412 miles). We placed our four checked bags into the trunk and sat our backpack purses in the back seat. Jen got in the car and drove away from Cleveland Hopkins International Airport (CLE). We took Eastbound I-480 for about half an hour before getting off on Exit 36 for East Aurora Road. After turning onto the road, the hotel was at the very next intersection. Jen turned the Camry onto Wilcox Drive and we drove down the road, which led to the Hilton Garden Inn. She found a good parking spot and we got out of the car. Jen and I unloaded the trunk, and we took our luggage into the hotel. As we neared the entrance, I could see a few sets of twins all standing outside and having casual conversations. Once in the lobby, the check in line wasn’t too long. Just a couple of sets of twins in front of us. It was now 12:06 PM. I glanced at the set of twins standing in front of us. They were two petite Asian women, that stood a little shorter than us. “Hi!” I said with a smile. “I’m Jill.” “And I’m Jen.” My sister added. “What are your names?” The first one pointed to herself and smiled. “I’m Libby.” “I’m Lucy.” The second twin answered. “Is this your first time?” We both nodded. “It’s our third time.” Libby told us. “You are going to just love it. Registration is at the high school. You know how to get there, right?” Both my sister and I smirked. “Yes.” Jen told her. “Both Jill and I were here a month ago to help her move out of her apartment in Cleveland. We had some extra time to kill so we decided to visit Twinsburg…” At this point, it was now Libby and Lucy’s turn to check in. Libby turned around and smiled. “See you both at the high school!” After Libby and Lucy finished checking in, Jen had us checked in. The receptionist gave Jen two room keys. Jen gave one of them to me. When I looked at the sleeve, I saw that we would be staying in room 506. We wheeled both of our luggage bags behind us and entered the elevator that was nearby. I pressed the 5 button and the elevator door closed. From the way that the elevator moved, I could tell that it was pretty old and clunky. It was nothing like the brand-new elevator that was at Metro City Apartments back in Philadelphia. The elevator door opened, and we both walked down the hallway to find our room. We found room 506 and Jen used her card key against the reader. The light flashed and the door unlocked. We entered the room to find two nice queen-sized beds, prepared just for us. There was a desk, a refrigerator, plus a Keurig coffee maker. All the standard amenities that you would find in a hotel room. I looked at my cell phone and frowned. 12:21 PM. We still had another hour and a half. Within the next 45 minutes, I settled into my room. I unpacked a few of my outfits and put them in the drawers provided in the room. For the Wendy Darling costume, Jen hung both of our costumes on hangers in the closet. I got out my cell phone and let it charge for about a half hour. My twin sister Jen, too, had a lot of her things all organized where she wanted them. After that half hour, I pulled open the drawer and grabbed one of my two panties that I brought with me. Jen gave me a frown as if to say that I shouldn’t be putting them on as I would risk embarrassment at the high school. I pulled my cell phone off its charger and placed it in my right hand. I then walked towards the bathroom with the panties in one hand and cell phone in the other. Jen looked back at me, shaking her head. “Jill, you are going to have an accident if you put those panties on. I am not saying this to be mean, but you have had a terrible track record within the last few weeks. And the worst of that track record was within the last week. I am only looking out for you, and I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.” I shook my head and I continued towards the bathroom with my panties. “Just let me wear them. If I have an accident, then I will wear my diapers for the rest of the festival.” Jen gave me a reluctant nod. “Go ahead then. I don’t know when the accident will happen, but I know that it will happen. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.” She picked up the other pair of panties out of the drawer. She looked at them and laughed. “And I don’t know why you packed two. You will not even be using it.” I proceeded into the bathroom and closed the door. Before I removed my diaper, I sat my cell phone and panties on the floor and lifted a little bit of my skirt above my waist to check the wetness indicator on my diaper. It was halfway between yellow and blue. I removed both tabs of my diaper and let it fall to my feet. I sat on the toilet and my cell phone began to vibrate against the tiled floor. I checked the caller ID. It was Glytter. As I reached down to pick up my phone, I could hear a few trickles of pee beginning to enter the toilet without any conscious effort. That accident in the toilet was not considered “peeing”, as I made no effort to concentrate and focus my bladder muscles on releasing the pee into the toilet. It happened without my prompting. I swiped the answer button and put it on speaker. “Hello?” “Hi Jill! It’s Glytter!” “Is that really you? I thought you had a daughter answer the phone.” I could hear laughter on the other end. “No Jill. I already told you. I’m a dwarf, so my voice sounds very high-pitched.” I gasped in disbelief upon hearing the tiny voice speaking to me. “Like a child’s?” “Yes Jill. I have had to live with my dwarfism my entire life. I just wanted to call you to see if you have settled into your room. Are you enjoying it in Twinsburg?” I heard a few more trickles of pee come out of the toilet without my prompting. “Yes. My sister and I will be registering at the high school at 2:00. We’ll keep you updated on all the details.” I looked at the diaper that was laying on the floor. Despite me getting to know Glytter a little more, she still doesn’t know about me wearing diapers and the recent issues that I have been experiencing with my worsening bladder control over the past month. “Sounds good, Jill. I have a few more ideas for additional emotes, but I will not be sending them to you until you have more of an audience. I’m guessing that you’ll be sorting all the emotes for all the sub tiers in your emote library when you get back?” I nodded. “Yes. It’s definitely my plan to do that after the Twins Days Festival.” I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and another burst of pee came flooding out, followed by just occasional drops. “Okay. I’ll let you go so that you can enjoy Twins Days with your twin sister. Have fun!” I nodded. “I will!” “Bye Jill!” “Bye Glytter!” I hung up, and checked between my legs to see if I was still peeing. With no drops, I stood up from the toilet and wiped myself with a few squares of toilet paper. I then grabbed the panties. I pulled them up through my legs and past my ankles until they were snugly around my waist. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. I checked the time. 12:59 PM. One hour left. About 25 minutes later, Jen suggested that both her and I go to the high school early. So far, my panties felt dry. I don’t know what my bladder problem was, but I couldn’t concentrate or focus my bladder muscles during that moment on the toilet. Either I’m able to hold it right now or I don’t have any urge to pee at the moment. We both grabbed our room keys with our backpack purses and left the room. We left the hotel in a red Toyota Camry and drove down Aurora Road to the high school. Having been to Twinsburg a month ago, we knew where we were going. We took the shortcut through the Twin Hills Highway and then a left onto Ravenna Road. When we got to the high school, we turned left onto the Joshua T. Miktarian Memorial Parkway. We pulled into the parking lot and park our car. We got out and grabbed our backpack purses. Just as we were leaving the car, we saw a white Toyota Camry XLE parking in a spot next to us. I kept walking forward when I heard my sister shouting. “Jill! Look!” I turned around and I saw two guys standing in front of their car, taking selfies. They both wore red sunglasses and were dressed in red tank tops with red tennis shoes with laces and one Velcro strap at the bottom. I nodded. “Let’s just get in line. We’ll see them soon enough.” We both walked towards the high school to discover that it doesn’t open until registration begins at 2:00. Despite that being the case, a line was starting to form outside the entrance. We got into the line and waited. Moments later, the red tank topped twins got into the line behind us. One of the two twins wore a gold cross necklace and was holding a red composition notebook. He glanced at me and gave his greeting. “Hi. I’m Kenneth.” “I’m Randy.” the other twin said. “What are your names?” Kenneth asked. I smiled. “I’m Jill!” “I’m Jen.” My sister added. “Where are you from?” Kenneth asked us. “Philadelphia.” We both said at the same time. Kenneth opened his composition notebook and wrote down the information that we gave him. I gave Kenneth a curious glance. “Where are you two from?” Kenneth grinned. “Cascade. It’s near Grand Rapids, Michigan.” He then gave us a curious glance. “Identical or Fraternal?” “Identical.” Both Jen and I said at the same time. “We’re fraternal.” Kenneth told us. Jen then smiled. “That’s surprising! You two don’t look fraternal! Might I ask you, Kenneth. What will you be doing with this information?” Kenneth grinned. “I will be including this information in a future blog. I already did this for last year. I’m trying to meet as many twins as possible. I got 161 last year. I’m trying to break that record for 2023!” Jen grinned. “Well, I hope that you do! Can you give me the website to your blog so that I can look up that post?” Kenneth nodded. “It’s www.kenscoolblog.com. Go to August 2022 and you should find it. Jen got her phone out of her backpack purse and typed in the site. She found the blog and glanced at it. “This is pretty neat! I see. So, you’re going to have an index of every twin that you met at the end of the post…” Kenneth nodded. “Yes. Nice talking to you two!” I smiled. “Same here!” “Hope you meet lots of twins!” Jen added. “Wait…What number are we?” “Seven.” Kenneth answered. “I already met six sets of twins yesterday…” I gasped. “Wow. You came down early…” We continued chatting until another set of twins got in line behind them. We continued forward and waited for the high school to open while feeling the heat of the sunny day. Finally, at around 2:03, the doors to the high school opened. We all filed in and followed the line through the main hall towards the auditorium. Once inside, we saw a bunch of other sets of twins as we made our way towards the front stage. At the front stage, we went to the pre-registration line and got our name tags. We both wrote our names down on the name tags, with Jen reminding me to write Twin A next to my name. Jen wrote Twin B next to her name. On the reverse side of our name tags, I saw our registration number: 1254. The name tags could be worn like a lanyard so we put them on so that other twins could identify us. After leaving the auditorium, both Jen and I took it all in. There were twins everywhere of all ages in the cafeteria. The youngest twins had parents carrying them around or wheeling them in strollers. All twins under the age of 18 were accompanied by a parent or responsible guardian. Besides that, no other parents were there, as this event was not open to the public. We then saw a stout set of male twins standing there with big enthusiastic smiles near a cafeteria table. “Hi!” They both shouted in unison. “Welcome to Twins Days!” I glanced at the jovial duo and smiled. “Who are you two?” “I’m Steven!” The first one shouted. “And I’m Stanley!” the second one shouted. Steven looked at us two. “I don’t think that I’ve seen you two here before. What are your names?” “I’m Jill!” I told Steven. “And I’m Jen!” my sister told him. “You two seem like you’re enjoying it! It’s our first time! Is this your first time?” The two exchanged glances and laughed. “Oh no no no!” Steven shouted. “It’s our 29th time!” They both shouted in unison. Both of our jaws dropped open. “29th?” Jen gasped. “Then do you know Tina and Trisha? It’s their 24th time!” They both nodded. “Yup!” Steven shouted. “We’ve known them for quite a few years.” I smiled. “How old are you two?” “31!” they both shouted. That’s when I felt a tap behind me. “Jill!” I turned around and saw that it was Tina. Trisha was standing right next to her. Both twins were in yellow summer dresses. Trisha glanced at Jen and smiled. “Jen!” “Hey Tina and Trisha!” Steven and Stanley shouted in unison. “Nice outfits!” Steven shouted. “Are you two going to win another look-alike contest?” Both twins exchanged glances and nodded. “Yup!” Trisha said with a grin. “We’re also going to be in the talent show!” “So are we!” Stanley said, grinning. “But our costume for tomorrow is a secret!” At that moment, both Kenneth and Randy were in the cafeteria. Kenneth got out his red composition notebook and began interviewing more twins, including Steven and Stanley. “So, you two are from Chicago?” Kenneth asked him. They both nodded. “And how many times have you been attending Twins Days?” Kenneth asked Steve. “It’s our 29th time!” they both shouted. Kenneth smiled. “It’s our third time.” After the interview, Kenneth wanted to get pictures of us with Steven and Stanley and Tina and Trisha. We both stood there and got all the pictures with everyone’s phone, including mine and Jen’s. After that, Kenneth interviewed Tina and Trisha. After the interview, both twins took us aside. Tina smiled. “How would you like to eat at the Blue Canyon Kitchen & Tavern for an early dinner?” Both Jen and I nodded. “We already have reservations!” Jen told her. “They’re early as well.” Just then, I saw a few drops of pee trickle to the floor. My heart sank. I looked up at my skirt. The trickles of pee continued. That’s when I felt the pee running down my legs and onto the cafeteria floor. Great. I just pissed myself again! Both Tina and Trisha glanced at me and gasped. All the nearby twins who saw the accident were surprised. A set of girl twins that looked a little younger than Jen and I were shocked. “That’s too bad!” one of them shouted. “We’re going to clean it all up, okay? Tina then hugged me. “Jill, I’m very sorry.” Trisha nodded. “If it makes you feel better Jill, I actually had to use a Poise pad the other day. I’m a very heavy sleeper, but I’m dry most of the time. It’s really nothing to be ashamed of. Incontinence is more common than you think with us women. About 40% of us will experience some kind of incontinence.” A set of middle-aged female twins nodded. “Just wait until you have a bunch of children!” one of them smiled. I sighed, as none of this was helping. My panties were soaked. My skirt was fine just as long as I didn’t sit down on it. Jen then looked at both of them. “Excuse me. I need to talk to my sister alone for a moment…” Both twins nodded, as Jen jerked me by the hand. As my twin sister pulled me towards the bathroom, her eyes began to well up with tears. By the time that we entered the woman’s bathroom, she was bawling. She took me into a handicap bathroom stall and closed the door. “Jill!” she said with a loud sob. “I warned you! You wanted to wear your ‘big girl’ panties, but I’m afraid that you can’t wear them anymore. You embarrassed yourself in front of all of them! Is it worth it, Jill?” I pulled down my soaked panties and let them slide down my ankles and legs until they hit the floor in a wet squish. “You tell me, Jen! What the hell is wrong with me? I had a nice dinner with you and your boyfriend on my first night in Philadelphia. You treated me to wine and I get drunk. Since that night, I have not stopped pissing myself. I pissed the bed over and over and then needed diapers at night. Then my bladder issues get worse and worse. So, is it worth it, Jill? Putting on these panties just to try to be normal? Since that first night Jen, my bladder is all fucked up. So, you tell me if it’s worth it!” Jen continued crying while I began to give up hope of ever being a normal woman again. Babies wear diapers, not 21-year-old women. So, I guess I’m a baby now. Time for Baby Jill to put on another diaper… After a few moments, my sister started to hug me, with still a few tears coming out of her eyes. “I love you Jill…” she wept. “I don’t know why you ever started to have accidents like this, but I don’t want this for you. I don’t want this for anyone. I just want you to be normal. But do you know what, Jill? None of us really have a choice as to what happens to us and why. All we get to decide is how to handle the situations and circumstances that we deal with every day. Now, are you going to resist the change in your life, or are you going to except the new changes as they are?” She glanced at the diaper that I was taking out of the backpack purse. “If I could, Jill, I would want to take on the hardship that you are struggling with. All of it. Every trial. Every tribulation. Every embarrassing accident that you have experienced. Just so my Jillian doesn’t have to suffer like this anymore. Just give me the padding. Just give me the protection. Just give me the diapers and take all the incontinence away from my sister. Please…” She wiped a few more tears out of her eyes. I was finished wiping with baby wipes and powdering my new diaper so I held the diaper against the wall and pressed my behind against it, diapering myself while standing up. “But you know what, Jill? It’s not my cross to bear. It’s yours. Think about that. Are you just going to throw your cross on the ground or are you going to carry it? Please carry it.” I nodded and pulled my skirt back down to cover my diaper. My sister took one of my plastic bags out of my backpack purse and placed the soaked panties inside it. She then zipped the plastic bag in her backpack purse and gave me another hug. “Come on, Jill. Tina and Trisha are waiting…” I exited the bathroom with my twin sister to see both Tina and Trisha waiting outside the bathroom. They both hugged and I just stared at them for a while. There were no words. Just two girls who deeply cared about me. After a few minutes of silence, I started crying. They both patted me on the back. “It will be okay, Jill.” Tina told me. “How about we go back to your hotel? We’ll have a nice dinner at the Blue Canyon Kitchen & Tavern, okay?” Trisha nodded. “Don’t worry about that puddle. They cleaned up the mess, Jill…” They cleaned up the mess…Those words kept repeating in my mind as the four of us left the high school. It was my mess, but they cleaned it. There was no laughing. There was no shaming. They all genuinely cared. It must be a thing that all twins have… I was still lost in my thoughts as my sister drove me back to the Hilton Garden Inn. It was 2:56, so there was still one hour to kill before the 4:00 reservation. An hour passed and we met both Tina and Trisha at the Blue Canyon Kitchen & Tavern. We added them to the reservation, so we had a party of four. Coincidentally, I saw Kenneth and Randy both entering the restaurant with what looked like their parents. I’m guessing that the parents wanted to come along for the festivities tomorrow… We entered the restaurant, and a hostess seated us. We then made our orders. Both Jen and I got the Lobster Cannelloni and a bowl of Lobster Bisque. We both shared a chocolate bomb. What made this dinner even funnier was that Tina and Trisha both ordered the same things as us. When given the option for drinks, I loudly refused. I had a glass of water with my dinner instead. After the dinner, both Tina and Trisha followed us in their car to the hotel and we took them up to our room. After we were all in the room, Trisha looked at me immediately. “So, did you have something to change into besides the panties? You’re wearing protection, aren’t you?” I nodded and lifted my skirt. Sure enough, there was a yellow patch in the crotch area and the wetness indicator was almost blue. “Before you even ask Trisha, they’re Certainty Unisex Fitted Briefs from Walgreens.” Trisha nodded. “I also didn’t want to tell you this at the high school. Those Poise Pads that I mentioned? I just bought some for this weekend, just in case. My last accident was about three months ago…” Jen nodded. “Where do you two live now? You said that you were moving to Twinsburg…” They both nodded. “We live on Twin Hills Highway.” Tina told her. “You know, that road that cuts through Aurora all the way to Ravenna.” “We went that way!” Jen gasped. “Then you passed our house!” Trisha said with a smile. We all talked for about an hour. Trisha shared a few more of her accident stories with me, trying to make me feel better. But from that lengthy conversation, she gave me one good bit of advice. “You gotta own it, Jill.” She told me. “Don’t let it own you.” After an hour of conversation, they both exchanged glances. “We’re going back to the high school.” She told us. “We’re going to find a lot of good twin friends for you to meet, okay?” Jen gasped. “How are we going to find you? What is your costume going to be?” Tina pointed to her name tag. “One, we will be wearing our name tags.” “And two, we will be dressing up as Tinkerbell!” Trisha added. “What are you two going to be?” “Wendy!” We both shouted. Tina laughed. “We both have Peter Pan costumes? This friendship was totally meant to be!” “Totes!” Trisha said with a grin. “See you tomorrow!” They both shouted in unison. Both Tina and Trisha left our room, leaving Jen and me to relax. I changed into my diaper for the evening and both Jen and I put on our matching Ocean Breeze Joyspun Women’s Short Sleeve T-Shirt and Joggers Pajama set and smiled. It was not every day that we wore matching pajamas but for this Twins Days Festival, we would be. We both took selfies to treasure the moment and I made a post about it on Instagram. After that, I was tired. I brushed my teeth and got into my queen-sized bed. The big day was tomorrow so I needed to make sure that I got plenty of rest. Both Tina and Trisha told us about the Double Take Parade that would be taking place tomorrow morning at 9:00. Our hotel offered a complimentary breakfast for all the twins staying at the Hilton Garden Inn, so we want to get up early enough to take advantage of that. Despite the embarrassment that I experienced for day one, I knew that tomorrow was going to be a good day. Being very tired, I closed my eyes and fell asleep. While I was sleeping, I had a very strange dream. I woke up, thinking that I was awake, but I was wearing a blue nightgown and felt a bow in my hair. I then saw a shadow from what looked like a flying boy. A tiny fairy was flying around near the shadowed boy that still didn’t make himself known. And that’s when the realization hit me. I was Wendy Darling from Peter Pan, which meant that I was in London. The other Darling children were still sleeping, and Peter wanted to take me for a fly. I couldn’t fly until Peter gave me some pixie dust from Tinker Bell. Full of pixie dust, I flew out of the window holding Peter’s hand and he took me to Neverland. Right after Peter took me to Neverland, he morphed into my boyfriend Gary. He told me to lay down so that he could change my diaper. At this point, my diaper was really soaked. Just as he was about to grab and peel back the tabs, I woke up. Before I could even sit up, I felt an intense need to pee. About a couple seconds later, my bladder released and I felt an intense warmth in my diaper. But the stream was coming out so fast that the pee began to leak out the sides and soak my pajama bottoms. A large patch of pee began to expand beneath me on the fitted sheet. I glanced at the alarm clock in the hotel room. 3:07 AM. I still had another three hours to sleep… I got out of bed and used the flashlight on my cell phone to grab another set of pajamas. While my pajama pants were totally soaked, a little bit of the shirt was also wet. As I grabbed my backpack purse and spare pajamas, my sister stirred in her bed. Relieved that she didn’t wake up, I quietly sauntered towards the bathroom. I changed into a new diaper and new pajamas and left the bathroom. I felt the fitted sheet to determine where the pee patch ended and slept on the dry side of my bed, careful not to roll onto the area that I pissed on. Did I say that I slept? For the next three hours, I didn’t really sleep that well. My sister woke up to glance at the evidence of my accident on the floor. My pajama pants and shirt were piled on the floor. She looked up at me with a frown. “Oh Jill…Did you have an accident?” I nodded, pulling back the covers of my queen-sized bed to show the large patch of pee towards the middle of the fitted sheet. Jen then gave me a curious stare. “You didn’t wear the other panties, did you?” I shook my head. “No. My panties are still in the drawer. I peed my diaper so hard last night that it leaked out both sides. I had to change into a new one.” Jen got out of her bed and gave me a hug. “It will be okay, Jill. Let’s get ready and get our costumes on!” I sighed and got out of bed. My sister let me go first. I took off my slightly damp diaper and took a shower. After the shower, I put on a new diaper and got into my Wendy Darling costume. I opened the checked bag that had extra diapers in it and stuffed five diapers into my backpack purse. From the trip to Philadelphia, I used up all four of my diapers in my purse, including the fifth one that I wore the morning of the flight to Cleveland. With the five that I took from the checked baggage, I only had 10 diapers left. I also took the Aquaphor from the checked bag and placed it in my purse in case I had any rashes to deal with later on. I also swapped the Caldesene Baby Corn Starch powder for the larger Johnson & Johnson baby powder, since I only wanted to use the smaller powder for traveling. I did the same with the baby wipes, as I needed more than a few if I was going to be out all day. With my backpack purse that doubled as my diaper bag all ready to go, I waited for my sister to get out of the shower. Moments later, the bathroom door opened, and she dressed herself in her Wendy costume. We then stood by the bathroom and curled each other’s hair, letting all seven curls droop behind our necks. Jen carefully tied the bow in my hair to keep all the curls together and I did the same for her hair. We put on our black flats and finished our faces with some makeup. When we were done, I was convinced that we were both Wendy Darling. “Are ya ready?” My sister said, beginning to practice her British accent. “I surely am!” I answered as Wendy Darling. “We need ta find Peter!” I glanced at my cell phone. 6:48 AM. 100% battery. We zipped our room keys in the smaller pouches of our backpack purses and put on our purses before grabbing our cell phones. We exited the hotel room and began gracefully walking down the hallway. We took the elevator downstairs and went to the ballroom where breakfast was being served. I could not believe my eyes. All the tables in the hallway near the ballroom entrance were full of food warmers, each with a different breakfast item. Bacon, Sausage, Pancakes, Eggs, Potatoes. Fresh fruit sat on another table, along with some fruit pastries. Strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, honeydew, and raspberries. Feeling very hungry, I grabbed an empty plate and began piling three strips of bacon, two sausages, three mini pancakes, a couple scoops of eggs, and one large scoop of potatoes. I drizzled syrup on my pancakes, added Tabasco sauce to my eggs, and squirted ketchup on my potatoes before I entered the ballroom where a bunch of empty round tables sat. My sister was right behind me with a similar plate, and we found a empty table towards the center of the room. As we ate our food, we saw Kenneth and Randy again from yesterday, carrying their plates of food into the ballroom. I grimaced, hoping that they didn’t see my embarrassing accident at the high school yesterday. Instead of sitting next to us, they sat next to a pair of Hispanic female twins. After Jen and I ate our food, we made a smaller plate with one scoop of fruit and one fruit pastry. After eating the second plate, we poured some cups of coffee to go and left the ballroom. The time was now 7:43 AM. From what I heard from Tina and Trisha, a shuttle was supposed to take us from the hotel to the lineup area for the Twins Days Double Take Parade. This shuttle was leaving at 8:00 AM, so we had about 20 minutes left. After 20 minutes, I saw Kenneth and Randy again, only they were dressed up like Captain Jack Sparrow. Before I could glance at them any longer, Jen was yanking me by the hand, which prompted me to turn around and hurry with her towards the bus that was about to take off. We got on the bus, and the Jack Sparrow twins got on the bus a couple of minutes later. Within five minutes, we were at the parade lineup site. It was 8:12 when Jen and I got off the bus. The parade was in about 50 minutes. I was amazed as I walked all around to see twins of all ages each dressed in unique costumes that all reflected the theme of Twins Days for the 2023 year: Shiver Me TWINbers! There were twin pirates everywhere. There was twin Captain Hooks, twin Spongebobs, twin mermaids, twin crocodiles, twin treasure chests, and various other costumes that reflected this year’s theme. For the next hour, both Jen and I talked to various twins around the parade lineup. While I couldn’t even tell that I was wet at all, I was sure that I had a small wetting or two at this point. The parade started at around 9:00 AM and the line slowly inched forward onto the street from the Twinsburg town square, towards Ravenna Road. It took about 45 minutes to get from the town square to the festival grounds past the high school. About halfway through the parade, I could feel a churning in my abdomen. The result of drinking that cup of coffee before getting on the bus from the hotel. While I was able to hold in my bowel movements, I was not so fortunate with my bladder. Immediately, I felt my diaper get warm and begin to expand and swell between my legs. Even though I was slowly walking with my sister, I was soaking my diaper without any conscious effort. Fortunately, the warmness stopped, and I continued waddling down the parade route. When my sister saw my awkward gait, words were not needed as she immediately knew what had just happened. She approached my ears, trying to speak as softly as possible. “When you get to the grounds, find the nearest port-a-potty ASAP…” I nodded, as I knew how soggy the diaper felt between my legs. It was very smart that I chose to pack five diapers, as I was already about to change into the first one. The parade route gradually passed an elevated stage area, where all of the members of the Twins Days Royal Court sat. Some announcer with a microphone was speaking to passersby in an elevated booth, asking questions to various twins and trying to keep things entertaining. Questions included where are you from, who traveled the furthest, and similar questions. After we passed that area, we were coming up to the high school and passed it. The parade route ended at the RB Chamberlin Middle School. We turned on the road leading into the school, which led to the festival grounds behind it. We walked to the registration area. Since we were already registered, they strapped plastic bracelets around our wrists, which allowed us to walk the festival grounds all day. In feeling the soggy diaper around my legs, I desperately needed to get to the nearest port-a-potty. I felt another bowel movement and closed my two cheeks together to prevent myself from messing my diaper. Both Jen and I continued forward towards a road that led back to the high school. Just past this road was the entrance to the festival gates. With our bracelets, the staff working at the gates let us right in, while non-twins had to pay the admission price to enter the festival. Jen immediately pointed out a row of about 20 port-a-potties. The ones furthest down were handicapped, so I found the first vacant handicap port-a-potty and entered it. Just as I entered it, I could no longer hold in the massive load that was about to be released. I felt the back of my diaper begin to fill with a warm gooey mass which I tried not to press against the wall as this would smear the poop from the diaper onto my skin. After the load finished, I had my work cut out for me. I took off my black flats and socks and lifted up my blue Wendy nightgown so that it was out of the way. I carefully removed my diaper and held it. I saw a few drops of poop hit the floor of the port-a-potty. I quickly grabbed some toilet paper to stop the messy flow. I unzipped my backpack purse and got out a pack of Pampers Aqua Pure Baby Wipes. I alternated between the baby wipes and the toilet paper to get everything cleaned up. I disposed the wipes into the port-a-potty with the toilet paper. For good measure, I squirted a couple globs of Aquaphor on my fingers and rubbed it all over my diaper area. I then powdered a new diaper and rubbed some additional powder into my skin to prevent chafing for later. Finally, I diapered myself while standing up and carefully made adjustments to my diaper to maximize comfort before I pulled the folds of my nightgown back down below my waist. I carefully put my socks and black flats back on and exited the port-a-potty. I used the nearby soap and hand washing station that they had outside of the port-a-potty’s and found my twin sister Jen standing nearby. Although my twin sister wasn’t my mother, her face gave off what I could only interpret to be something resembling a motherly instinct. “Are you good, Jen?” I nodded but realized that I had the dirty diaper inside my purse in a plastic bag. The other used diapers were thrown away in the trash in our room before leaving. I gestured my hand, pointing at my purse. My sister nodded and pointed at a nearby trash bin. Not caring who saw me at this point, I unzipped my purse and tossed the plastic bag containing my soiled diaper in the trash bin. The twins nearby didn’t really say anything about what I was throwing away. I could only guess that they thought that it was none of their fucking business. Now in the festival grounds, Jen smiled as she held out her cell phone. “I took a few pictures of other twins while you were in the port-a-potty.” She said, as she began showing me all of the pictures. “Tina and Trisha also texted us and wanted us to meet them by the food stalls just ahead.” I smiled and nodded. “Are we having lunch with them?” Jen nodded. “Yes Jill. They also have a few more sets of twin friends to introduce us to later.” But before we did that, I noticed different pin boards depicting different maps where twins could pin where they’re from. I wanted to do this with my sister, along with the Twins Days Mirror. We did the pins first. We looked for the map of the United States and placed our one pin on Philadelphia. The Twins Days Mirror took longer since there was a line for it. After about 10 minutes, it was our turn to stand on either side of the illusory mirror and attempted to make perfect poses of our twin reflection. We both pressed our right hand forward and made a silly face while another person took our pictures with our cell phones. After the silly face, we did two more poses. We did our best Wendy pose before doing a double hi-five for our last pose, trying really hard to match each other’s facial expression. After we finished the mirror, we continued forward through the festival grounds and turned left, which led to a few food stalls. Near the Gyro vendor, I saw a pair of Tinker Bells that smiled when we made eye contact. “Tina!” We both shouted. “Trisha!” Our twin friends hugged us. “How about we all get a Gyro?” Tina suggested. “Both Trisha and I have tried all the food from the vendors from over the years, and the Gyros are pretty decent.” Trisha pointed to a Dippin’ Dots vendor ahead. “And let’s get some Dippin’ Dots for dessert!” “I love Gyros…” I said with a grin. Jen gave me a playful jab. “Jill, you love virtually every food!” My sister was not wrong about that. When it came to food, I was a real critic. Besides news, makeup, and video games, food was another strong passion that I would definitely classify as a hobby. The four of us all bought Gyros with a bottled water to wash it down. We found a set of picnic tables just to the left of the Dippin’ Dots vendor and sat down. We ate our Gyros and enjoyed each other’s company. While I was in the middle of eating my Gyro, Trisha tapped my shoulder. She glanced around to ensure that no one else was nearby. “Jill, it happened again last night. After three months of being dry, I soaked another Poise Pad last night.” Even though Trisha was my new friend, I still felt self-conscious about others knowing about my bladder issues. My face reddened and my diaper felt a little warm again. At this point, I can’t remember the last time that I peed in the toilet on purpose. “And what am I supposed to say about that, Trisha?” “You’re supposed to say that you own it, Jill.” Trisha told me. “That accident happened to me unexpectedly last night. But do you know what, Jill? I owned it. Trust me. You will feel a lot better when you stand up and own it.” Tina nodded. “She’s right. If it’s something that you can’t control, there’s no point in fretting about it. Don’t let it dictate what kind of day you will have. Just learn to wear your incontinence with confidence.” I casually nodded as I finished my Gyro. “Thanks Tina and Trisha.” We all finished our Gyros and got Dippin’ Dots for dessert. Both Jen and I got a Chocolate Mega Size and Tina and Trisha got a Cookies and Cream Mega Size. Psyche! They both also ended up getting chocolate. After the Dippin’ Dots, the four of us walked towards the amphitheater for the contests and got in line to see how we would place. Considering how pleased the judges looked, we were all invited to the final line on stage to be judged on our costumes in front of an audience of twins and other onlookers. When I heard the results, I was shocked. Both Jen and I got third place for our Wendy Darling costumes. A set of twins that were mermaids got second place. And the first place went to Tina and Trisha for their Tinker Bell costumes. And considering the detail that they put into the costume, I can see how they got first. Their costumes lit up and their wings looked so much like the ones that I saw in the movie. Their lime green leotard dresses were cut at the perfect length at the hips and their wings hung perfectly behind their backs. Their golden blonde hair was parted over their right eye with their hair in a messy bun behind it. Their eye liner and lipstick matched Tinker Bell to a tee. They even had lime green slippers with white puffs that matched their dresses. And that was only the costume. They even had a magic wand and pixie dust as props. Having seen this movie literally a dozen times, I can say that this was the best Tinker Bell that I have ever seen. We all walked off the stage and got into the photo area for everyone to take pictures of the first, second, and third place contestants. Both Jen and I gave our Wendy poses for all the cell phones that snapped pictures of us. After the pictures were done, we stepped off the stage of the photo area and took selfies of each other. Tina and Trisha then introduced us to a few other twin friends before retreating to a tent near the food vendors to prepare for the talent show. A lot of the twin friends that we met were dressed up as pirates, and we followed them into the mainstage tent to watch the talent show. The talent show, overall, was very entertaining. The acts that I loved the most included one from Steven and Stanley and a wonderful performance from Tina and Trisha. We found ourselves sitting next to their twin boyfriends, so we had a good conversation with them. Steven and Stanley sang a popular song from Toy Story. Tina and Trisha sang a medley of different songs, concluding with “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. I was blown away with just how talented their singing voices were. With Tina and Trisha being the last act, we got up and left the tent. My attention was interrupted by Jen, who pointed to the souvenir stand, which was very close to the tent that we exited. “Jill,” she said. “Let’s get a Twins Days t-shirt!” We each got a T-shirt displaying this year’s theme on it, and also bought a pair of red sunglasses that looked very similar to the ones that Kenneth and Randy were wearing. After we bought the souvenirs, we found Tina and Trisha standing next to us again. “They’re going to take the picture at 3:30,” Tina told me, pointing to the football field ahead of us. “I love the picture!” Trisha added. All the twins get into the shot and a set of twins on cherry pickers will be taking the shot. Make sure you are within the marked boundary if you want to be in the shot. And don’t be late!” The time was now 2:42, and I was so distracted and having so much fun that I suddenly realized how wet my diaper was. I saw a nearby set of port-a-potty’s and glanced at Jen, pointing to the port-a-potty’s. Jen nodded and followed me. “I actually have to go too.” My sister told me. “It’s probably best to do it now before the picture.” I found another handicap port-a-potty and entered it. Since this was only a wet diaper, it didn’t take too long for me to wipe, cream, powder, and change into a new one. With just three diapers left in my purse, I placed the wet diaper into the plastic bag. The smell wouldn’t be that noticeable so I decided to wait to throw it away later. After I got out of the bathroom, I followed Jen with Tina and Trisha to the football field to take the big picture at 3:30. Both Tina and Trisha’s twin boyfriends, who were dressed up as Peter Pan, stood next to them. When Jen and I shared that we live in Philadelphia, their eyes lit up. From our conversation, I learned their names. Robert and Ronnie. “We will definitely have to hang out sometime!” Robert said with a grin. “We live about 15 miles from Philly.” I nodded and noticed that they were about to take the picture. At precisely 3:30, the picture was taken. After the picture, I wanted to go back to the food vendors with Jen. I gave Jen a pleading smile. “Can we go back to the vendors? I would like to split a funnel cake with you.” “Why certainly Jill!” Jen acquiesced. “I would be more than delighted!” We said goodbye to Tina and Trisha and walked back to the vendors. We ordered a funnel cake with powdered sugar and chocolate drizzle and split it in half. Well, we tore it since we didn’t have any sharp knife to cut it with. After finishing the funnel cake, we had sticky powdered sugar and chocolate syrup all over our hands. We laughed, making our way to the hand wash station near the port-a-potty’s. We washed the powdered sugar and chocolate syrup off our hands and made our way back to the festival gate. I got a call from Tina, and I answered it. “Hi!” I answered. “Hey Jill! How would you and Jen like to have dinner at Sushi En with Robert and Ronnie?” “Tell her it’s okay!” Jen shouted. “It’s okay!” I shouted. “Okay! Meet us at the festival gate. We’ll drive you there. Don’t worry about our boyfriends. They drove over here in their rental. See you in a few!” I hung up and walked with my twin sister out of the festival gate. Within a couple of minutes, I saw both Tina and Trisha sitting there with their boyfriends. Seeing them so happy really made me miss Gary. Gary owes me a date when I get back to Philadelphia… A golf cart arrived at the end of the road, waiting to take new passengers back to the high school parking lot. Both Jen and I were about to walk past a set of female twins when we stopped. When they saw that we knew them, they gave us approval to cut them and join our friends. When we saw that only the four of us could fit on one cart, the boyfriends gave us permission to go on ahead, as they would catch the next golf cart. We all hung on, and the golf cart sped down the Joshua T. Miktarian Memorial Parkway towards the high school. About two minutes later, we were at the parking lot to the high school that Jen and I were at yesterday. We got off and walked towards the parking lot. Tina showed us the way to their car, which was a white 2019 Chevy Malibu. I got into the back with Jen, while Trisha rode shotgun with Tina. Just as we were leaving, we saw the golf cart carrying Robert and Ronnie on it. They took us all the way to Sushi En, which was right across the street from the Hilton Garden Inn. Tina reserved a table for six while we waited for the other twins to arrive. Once they got there, we all ordered our food. Both Jen and I split a vegetable tempura and we each got a Hot Mama roll and a Drunken Tiger roll. Tina, Trisha, and their boyfriends all got different appetizers and rolls. For dessert, both Jen and I got the mochi ice cream. Two strawberry mochi balls and two chocolate mochi balls. But it wasn’t just the mochi that made it good. It was topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate and strawberry syrup. It was both rich and delicious, making me experience what I could only describe as a foodgasm. Or dessertgasm in this case. When I came off the high of my dessertgasm, Trisha got my attention. “Jill and Jen.” Trisha said. “Would you two like to go to the Bertram Inn? All of us, including a bunch of friends are going. Since you and Jen are first timers, just know that the Bertram is THE place to go if you want to party.” This made my twin sister sigh. “I don’t think we can do that.” Jen told her. “Both Jill and I want to see the fireworks tonight. If we go to the Bertram after that, it will be too late.” Tina nodded. “Okay Jill. We’ll drive both of you back to the hotel.” We paid for our dinners and left the restaurant with Tina and Trisha. Once back at the hotel, Tina and Trisha said goodbye to us. “It was fun spending the day with you two!” Tina told us. “And let’s not forget last night!” Trisha added. “We’ll see you two tomorrow for Sunday!” The white Chevy Malibu drove off. Both Jen and I entered the hotel. Jen did a quick load of laundry, washing our Wendy Costumes, my soaked panties, and my wet pajamas from last night. With it being 5:17, there were still about 4 hours before the fireworks began at 9:30. While Jen was doing this, I changed into a new diaper, along with a black crop top and a navy-blue knee-length skirt. Jen matched the same outfit, and we spent a little bit of time relaxing in the room while the laundry finished washing and drying. I checked my bed and found brand new bedding on it. This was a relief, as I didn’t want to sleep on my dried piss tonight. After the laundry dried, Jen took care of all the clothes. It was 6:47, so we decided to head down to the lobby. There weren’t a lot of people down there, so we headed back to Twinsburg High School. Jen parked the red Toyota Camry, and someone took us back to the festival grounds on a golf cart. Once there, we went back through the front gate. We spent the next few hours talking to twins while we enjoyed the bands playing from the mainstage tent. At 9:30, the fireworks happened. Both Jen and I saw them, and they were beautiful. With me not sleeping that well, I felt very tired at this point. I walked with my sister back to the parking lot. The golf carts were not in service, so we had to walk the entire half mile stretch back to the high school. Once back at the Hilton Garden Inn, I was ready to collapse. I changed into my nighttime diaper and freshly washed pajamas and checked my purse for tomorrow. I had just one diaper left so I ended up not using all five of them. I took it out to use for tomorrow morning and added another five for Sunday. Only six diapers left for this trip… I brushed my teeth, flossed, and rinsed with mouthwash. I got into my bed, and I fell asleep within a couple minutes. I woke up to feel a soft tap on my shoulder. “Jill? Would you like to go for a swim with me?” I sat up and checked the cell phone. 6:34 AM. I then checked the bedding. While the bedding was indeed dry this time, my diaper was completely soaked. But on a positive note, I did “sleep like a baby”. I reluctantly agreed to my sister’s early morning fitness regimen. Considering how she sharply disapproved of me wearing my panties now, I was surprised that she would actually invite me to swim in the swimming pool, despite the potential risk of me accidentally peeing in the swimming pool during our swim due to my inability to control my bladder. She was already in her athletic two-piece swimsuit, waiting for me to put mine on. It was a Royal Blue Mohiass Bikini Set. Wasting no time, I undressed in front of my sister and tore off my wet diaper. I pulled open the drawer and put on my two-piece swimsuit, which also matched my twin sister’s. We took the elevator down to the pool and began our swim. To my relief, both Jen and I were the only ones in the swimming pool. As I jumped into the pool, I could feel the cold water around my skin. Just then, I felt something warm in the water. I swam forward, and Jen swam behind me, by the warm spot that I left behind. Jen looked at me and sighed. “Jill, you just peed in the pool.” I sighed in embarrassment. “Again Jen, I think it has been about two or three weeks since I have consciously peed on the toilet. Yes, there has been times that I peed on the toilet, but it was without any conscious effort and exertion of any of my muscles.” Jen nodded as she looked at me with concern. “Jill, I think that you should see a doctor about your bladder issue. Over the past month, your continence has gotten worse. Your more frequent use of diapers during the day has exacerbated the problem. It is done so to the point where I don’t think your bladder muscles can hold in any pee anymore.” I shook my head. “On the airplane, I was able to hold in my bladder for 30 minutes.” Jen nodded. “That’s only 30 minutes! What I want you to do is to start timing how long you can hold your bladder. Try some Kegel exercises. It might help in strengthening your bladder muscles.” As I swam past her, I could feel the warmth once again. Jen, who was right next to me, felt the warmth and sighed. “Jill, you just did it again. Get out of the pool and go change into a diaper. I thought that we could have a nice swim without this being a problem, but I thought wrong…” I got out of the pool and my sister joined me. We got upstairs and I got ready. I took my shower and changed into a new diaper. We both put on an orange crop top with a white knee-length skirt. For Sunday, it was pretty much less busy than Saturday, in terms of activity. We had breakfast in the ballroom again. We saw the same Hispanic twins eating breakfast in the ballroom as yesterday. Both Jen and I introduced ourselves and I found out that their names were Diana and Lorena. They were both from Tucson, Arizona. Jen and I had a lighter version of the delicious plate that I had yesterday. After the breakfast, my twin sister took me to the high school for the last day of the Twins Days Festival. The golf cart took us down the half-mile stretch to the festival grounds. Although chapel was scheduled for 9:00, we arrived 20 minutes early. We once again saw Tina and Trisha there. I was surprised to see them both there, considering that they were at the Bertram last night. I could see both of them yawning and squinting their eyes. To summarize, chapel was pretty good. The message had to do with carrying our own cross and taking responsibility for circumstances that we couldn’t control. This freaked me out as this was the same exact thing that Jen told me Friday in the high school bathroom. How did she know to tell me this? This really got me thinking about her faith and what it really meant to her. After all, Joey introduced it to her, and she seems to really be running with it. There is some truth there. I will definitely think about the message that Pastor John spoke to us this morning. After chapel, we took a bunch of pictures with the other twins that attended. We then went to the research tent and answered a few surveys in exchange for free stuff. For one survey, we got some lotions. For another survey, we got a $30 Gift Card. After the surveys, we just walked around the festival grounds and talked to some more twins for a few hours. We then got a text from Tina and Trisha to come to the amphitheater for another contest. They were in the lookalike contest, wearing their green summer dresses. Both Jen and I went to the amphitheater to watch the contest. Once again, both Tina and Trisha got first place. After I took their first-place picture, Tina smiled at us again. “How would you like to go bowling with us?” “Yeah!” Trisha agreed. “It’s a lot of fun! Every year on Sunday night, Roseland Lanes opens the entire bowling alley for all of the remaining twins to bowl privately. You’re welcome to come if you want!” I could not pass up the offer, and neither could Jen. We both sadly left the festival grounds one last time and took the golf cart back to the high school. As I saw the festival grounds fading out of view, I frowned. Twins Days Festival was coming to an end. Pretty soon, it would be back to the grind at Philadelphia again. Jen placed her arms on my shoulder. “There there, Jill. There’s always next year. We’re going to register again. I had so much fun here that I want to come every year with you from now on…” That made me feel a little bit better. We got to our red Toyota Camry. Jen drove us to Roseland Lanes, where we met Tina and Trisha there. Leagues were being organized so bowling didn’t start yet. Both Jen and I were put into a league with Tina and Trisha. Bowling started at 7:00 and we played Ninepin and alternated lanes for each frame. After bowling for a couple hours and getting a few strikes, both Jen and I called it a night. We drove back to the Hilton Garden Inn for our very last night. Feeling tired again, I did my nighttime routine in getting ready for bed. For the whole day, I only used three diapers. I put on my fourth diaper with my pajama set and fell asleep. I woke up at 8:00 AM sharp. With the flight back to Philadelphia being at 12:30 PM, both Jen and I had to get back to the airport by 10:00 AM. Both Joey and Gary would be waiting at the airport at 2:00 to pick us up. Within the next hour, both I and my twin sister Jen got ourselves ready. We packed everything after our shower and Jen made sure that all the souvenirs went back in my diaper suitcase. Since the suitcase only had two diapers left (I restocked my purse with five more diapers), it was almost empty. I also traded all my wipes and powders. I also put my Aquaphor back in the checked bag to comply with the TSA guidelines. The creams that we got from the survey would’ve also have been confiscated if they were not in a checked bag. We checked out at around 9:16 AM and left the hotel. We stopped at Sheetz and ordered breakfast to go. We both got a sausage, egg, and cheese, breakfast burrito and some Hashbrownz and ranch dressing. We got water since we would be getting the coffee at the airport. Jen drove to the Cleveland Hopkins International Airport while I ate my breakfast. After she gassed up and dropped off the rental, we took all our luggage out and entered the airport. We checked in our four checked bags again and Jen paid for them with her credit card. After that, Jen took her bag of Sheetz and ate her breakfast while we waited in line at the TSA checkpoint. With it being 20 minutes before we were checked through, that was more than enough time for her to finish her breakfast. I looked at my return flight boarding pass. Our flight was AAL1538. A nonstop flight leaving Cleveland Hopkins International Airport at 12:30 PM and arriving at Philadelphia International Airport at 2:08 PM. Once again, the TSA was no issue. Just one bag through the conveyor belt. After both Jen and I grabbed our backpack purses, we made our way towards our gate. We found our gate, which was C7 this time. At 11:50, we both got our Dunkin’ Coffee. Two large mocha espressos. I only had one small wetting this morning so I knew that I could make it through the flight no problem. Boarding started at 12:10. Both Jen and I got onto the plane. We got 19D and 19F this time, so we were a little bit closer to the bathroom, if Jen needed to use it or if I needed to change my diaper before landing. About two minutes before takeoff, I found the temperature of my coffee cool enough to chug, so I chugged the whole coffee in a few gulps. Jen, on the other hand, took careful sips. About 20 minutes later, I had my first accident in my diaper. The second more intense accident came in another 30 minutes. At that point, I got up and entered the bathroom. I changed into a new diaper and returned to my seat. I was just in time for Jen to get up and use the bathroom. About 45 minutes later, the plane began its descent into Philadelphia and made a perfect touchdown on the runway. About 10 minutes later, it taxied all the way to the passenger boarding bridge. And five minutes later, it was time for Jen and me to get off the plane. I switched my phone off airplane mode and noticed that I had one missed text message from Glytter. As we walked off the plane, I texted her back. She wanted to know if I was on my way home, and I told her that I just arrived in Philadelphia. Both Gary and Joey were waiting for us when we got off the plane. I hugged Gary and we kissed each other on the cheeks. We went over to the baggage claim and we all grabbed a checked luggage bag before leaving the airport. This time, Gary’s Black Lexus LS sedan was parked, and he opened up his trunk for us to put in all of the luggage. With everything loaded, I piled in the back seat with Jen while Joey rode shotgun with Gary. On the way back home, both Jen and I shared our adventures in Twinsburg. All the pictures that we took and all the new friends that we made. Both Gary and Joey only had a little time to explain what they did, which was work and play video games during the weekend. Once in the parking deck, both Gary and Joey helped us carry our luggage all the way back to the apartment. Once inside Apartment 2202 (Home sweet home), both Joey and Gary had to get back to work, since it was a Monday, and both Jen and I needed to rest from the long weekend. I spent the rest of the day unpacking and thinking about tomorrow when I got a phone call. The caller ID read CBS Philadelphia. I could feel my diaper getting warm. I swiped the answer button and put it on speaker. “Hello?” “Is this Jillian Jenners?” “Yes. Hello. How are you doing on this fine afternoon?” “Wonderful. This is Melinda Thompson. I work in the HR Department for CBS Philadelphia. Having reviewed your résumé and all your credentials, we want to set up an interview with you at your earliest convenience. Would you be able to come into the studio tomorrow at 1:00?” My heart skipped a beat. “1:00 works perfect for me. Thank you very much for your time.” “And I in turn want to thank you for your time, Miss Jenners. You have a wonderful afternoon. Bye.” I hung up the phone, and my twin sister screamed in excitement. “Congratulations Jill! You got an interview! You have one day to prepare for it. I hope that you get this job!” A few tears rolled down my eyes. “I hope that I get it too, Jen!” “You’ve wanted this so bad, Jill!” Jen said, almost crying. “I will be praying that you get this job! Now, let’s calm down after the long weekend. We both had a lot of fun…” I spent the rest of the day unpacking everything and getting ready for tomorrow. I announced on my JillianPlays channel on Twitch that today’s stream would be cancelled since I just got back from Twins Days. Glytter already knew this, so giving the news to her wasn’t necessary. It was now bedtime once again. And you all know what that means, my JJ Little Bestie Babies. With my twin sister Jen and I having just returned from Twinsburg, I was totally unaware of what was about to happen. Do you remember how I said that I wanted to use the diapers for convenience and to avoid embarrassment in streams? Well, that happened to backfire in the worst possible way. If you thought that my past embarrassing episodes were bad, just wait until you hear what happens next. You better get a fresh diaper for this one, or there’s going to be a leak. This is going to be the embarrassment to end all embarrassments. I had no idea that it was actually coming to me. Little did I know that my most embarrassing day of my life was just about to happen…

Don't put sheets on the bed, then they will stay dry.

Hey everyone! Rolling right along here, I felt I needed to add this type of chapter in here to flesh out the world a bit more and add some context to the other chapters coming up with the growing bond between Nancy and Emily. This world may still be a little sketchy, but there are still some bright spots and I think I was able to capture the two sides pretty well here. Going forward, I will try to add another chapter tomorrow, but my day is seeming a little packed, even to edit the next already written chapter. So, bonus if I have the time tomorrow, but otherwise, the next chapter should be up sometime Sunday. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 5: A Peaceful If Not Odd Existence Waking up around my usual time, I saw the sun shining just like in one of my drawings, and things only seemed likely today to get better, after all, it was a Saturday. Now, Nancy always liked my drawings, and though they weren’t very good, I still liked making them for her. It was kind of fun and that and a few activities, like those I had planned for today, seemed to make up for some of the more… concerning things recently. Reading was getting to be a little more difficult, but I easily offset this with just sticking to some of the more picture-heavy books. It was a loss, but my new friends at daycare more than made up for it with my newfound free time. I also found myself tripping as I was walking and then stumbling over my words more times than not lately. A few crying fits, some Band-Aids all over my skinned knees, and a hug from one of the daycare staff or Nancy usually helped me through it all. The worst though, was my pull-up. Despite finding a new show I liked with Princess Poppy from her cheery face on them and my love of their pink softness, they represented a point of failure in my current life. Each morning, I woke up all fresh-faced and happy, but my pull-up was sadly damp or even to the point of being soaked. My cheeks would flush with embarrassment, like this morning, and of course, Nancy would soon enter to witness the scene herself. “Oh, dear. Another accident?” she would always ask. I could only tearfully nod, but Nancy did her best to help me clean up and don a fresh new pair for the day. It was horrible, but it revealed one positive in my life that had been growing for some time now. The day had progressed and while Nancy had a few tasks in the morning, she was now happily sitting cross-legged on the other side of the tea tray from me and was finely sipping down some tea from her own cup. Unlike daycare though, Nancy made the extra effort of actually using real tea in our little play times. Teatime with Anna was great and all, but I treasured my times with Nancy since I had rediscovered my love of the event. “Can I have mo’ sugah?” I asked as cutely as I could to Nancy. “And what’s the magic word?” she popped back, staring at me with one eyebrow raised. I sighed, but I knew she was right. We had been working on my manners, but the process was still a little slow. “Please Nancy? Can I have mo’ sugah?” I stared back at her with my large glassy eyes, the same look that Anna used on me before but was now teaching me back at daycare. I didn’t have much these days, but I definitely was perfecting this skill as best I could. Nancy rolled her eyes and sighed in a more joking than cruel or annoyed way. “Oh, my aching heart. Put those eyes away missy, but just stop before I keel over from my heart breaking.” She even gripped her chest. “I’ll get you more sugar… just please… no more.” I giggled and held my teacup over to receive some more sugar in my cup. Bigs like Nancy always liked their tea bitter, but I, like most other Littles here, was developing quite a sweet tooth lately. Beyond some of my more recent… setbacks, it felt like it was becoming my fatal flaw. Still, despite my previously mentioned setbacks, I knew things could be worse. For instance, Tyler was plummeting down faster than me at daycare recently and had already ended up in the Meadows room. After I went there to borrow some wipes from Miss Tully, I was terrified of ending up there myself after seeing him toddle about thickly diapered and all. Miss Tully just stared at me for a while as I retrieved another pack for the Canopy room, and I swore I could feel a shiver down my spine… almost as if she was telling me with her eyes, ‘Soon… you’ll be in here too.’ I nearly shuddered at the notion even now, but just decided to focus back on Nancy. We hadn’t received much together time lately with her super important job, and while a part of me still wanted to go back home, I felt like if I did, I would miss her the most of everyone I had met here. There were a few odd moments where she would give me this look that I swear was some strange cross between happiness and relief, but something always came along and distracted me before I could think about it more. “Penny for your thoughts, Em?” Nancy asked me, now setting her tea down. “Oh! I…” I wasn’t sure what to tell her, as I didn’t want to share any of my recent curiosities with her. I thought I was caught in the middle of an unwinnable situation, but then, I heard a bird chirp outside. ‘Yes! That’s my way out!’ I pointed to the nearby window. “It’s just so pwetty out! Biwds chiwpin’ and sun shinnin’” I mused contentedly, really trying to sell my act of omission to her question. Nancy, it seemed, took the bait. “Oh, you noticed, huh?” I nodded enthusiastically and she just chuckled. “Well then. I guess there’s only one thing to do. How about a walk to the park today, huh? Would you maybe be interested in that?” I looked back the window showing the outside world and saw all the birds flying overhead and the nearly cloudless sky. It was a beautiful late spring day, and everything seemed to pull me outside, but once again as of late, two things scared me out there that I had come to fear more. First, other Bigs beyond those I had already met were really starting to make me nervous. There was more than one occasion where I stuck closer to Nancy and almost wanted to grab her hand. Not necessarily in comfort mind you, but more as to show that I had already been ‘claimed.’ I really wasn’t and I still wanted to go home, but they wouldn’t know that, and I would therefore be safe. Second, though, my pull-up was a constant reminder that I was wearing them for a reason. The last thing I wanted was a near miss like had happened a few other times in the past week. Still, the pull of the outside was stronger than my fears. Besides, I would have Nancy by my side. So, I nodded my head and smiled about as wide as I could. “Can we? Please? Do you weally mean it?” Nancy chuckled and quickly got up. “Of course. Now, put your cup back on the tray and then you try and go potty for me, okay?” I bounced up to my feet and nodded as I set my cup back on the tray as instructed. Nancy just smiled and left with the tray while she left me to do my business. Right then, I was just grateful I wouldn’t have to mount the stairs like I used to when I first came to live with her. See, the house was designed for a Big in mind, so every step was a really big climb for me, and with my pull-ups… my near misses would have been full-blown accidents right on the stairs if not for the tiny potty in the downstairs bathroom that Nancy had set out for me last week. A little humiliating for sure with its babyish designs of diapered princesses, and I always found that odd, but when I had to pee, it might as well have been the greatest gift ever to me. So once again, I popped in the bathroom and only closed the door to a crack, just as a precaution in case something did happen and Nancy needed to help me out. Still, once I dropped my tights, I waddled over to the potty and sat down with my pull-up soon yanked to my feet… thankfully, still dry. “Whew!” I said out loud as a rush of pee soon could be heard splattering on the inside of the plastic surface beneath me. I was a little worried that I initially didn’t think I needed to go so bad, but I still had made it, and that’s what counted in the end around here. “Everything okay in there?” Nancy asked from the kitchen, a few clinking noises following her words as well, likely coming from the dishes she was now washing. “All good! Made it jus’ in time. No accidents today! Pwomise!” I shouted back. “Very good, Emma!” she praised me. I always loved it when she did that lately. I didn’t even think twice about announcing my business to her anymore, as just as long as I got that praise, followed by that wonderful tiny warm feeling all over, I was happy. I had to imagine that it had been a trying week for Nancy. I felt that she was still happy, maybe even happier than when I first met her, but I could tell that between her job and my new… oddities, like the potty for me, she was also more stressed out than ever before. I blamed myself, and I almost considered going back to Mrs. Tatum’s, but Nancy insisted I stay. She called it a ‘burden of a caregiver,’ but I just was more paying attention to the fact that she told me I could still stay with her. Regardless, I soon finished up, used my potty stool to wash my hands while I sang the ‘Happy Birthday’ song and then exited, feeling prouder than ever. Nancy was still packing a few things up though, so I just plopped myself on the couch and started reading another book. It had silly pictures and was always a guarantee to put me in a good mood lately. Finally, Nancy had packed a bag that now hung from her shoulders, and while I hadn’t watched her pack it, now trusting her to do so for me, I almost could guarantee that there was at least a few snacks, a jacket and some drinks for both of us, and maybe even some chalk, coloring books, or a small book in case I got bored yet still didn’t want to go back home. Unfortunately, I also knew there was also likely a change of clothes, some wipes, and a fresh pull-up… just in case. So, resigned but happy, Nancy and I walked out of our house and strolled down the sidewalk to our local park. It was really a beautiful day, but I also had a teensy bit of trouble keeping up with Nancy. Every step she took, I had to take two of my own. It soon became a bit exhausting, and I was momentarily distracted by another Little riding in a stroller. They seemed so happy… so at peace… so… I shook my head. ‘Where did that thought come from about a freakin’ stroller?’ I momentarily paused, completely in disbelief with myself. Nancy noticed. “You okay, Em?” she asked, stopping herself and turning around. “You need to go potty, or…?” I quickly shook my head. “Nope! Just a little sweepy. It’sa lotta walkin’.” Nancy only smiled and waved me forward. “I know, honey, but it’s okay. We’re almost to the park and you can just sit for a minute if you need to, okay?” For some odd reason, as soon as she mentioned the prospect of being close to the park, I felt a sudden surge of energy ripple through me. The park was so close, and we were both now wasting time. So, after nodding, I took off. Nancy just laughed behind me, and despite my exhaustive pace, from her much longer legs, she easily kept up with me. Finally, a block later and out of breath a little, we made it. The park was just like any other I had seen back home, but this one was actually sized for me. While that was worrying on one level, there was a growing part of me that actually became excited to see playground equipment lately. Now, I know many people from back home would probably judge me for that notion. I even judged myself the first time I swung on one of the swings or giggled going down a slide, but everyone back home hadn’t been through what I had. When one’s day is filled with sing-alongs, oddly colored food, and above all, the condescension of everyone taller than you, a playground is just pure freedom. On a beautiful day like today, I made sure I took full advantage of that. While Nancy parked herself on a nearby bench, I went off to find new adventures on the playground. It just so happened the whole thing was built like some giant plastic and metal abstract castle, but to any Little with an ounce of imagination like me, it might as well have had a sign that said, ‘All Princesses Welcome.’ To me, it was perfect. Today, I just happened to be the oldest Little here. The other two that joined my game instead of running off to go play in the sandbox like the other younger Littles had, ‘I mean, gross and scratchy, right? Who needs that?’, were Jimmy and Donny. Both were in daycare with me, but both had been assigned to the Meadows room, though Donny seemingly not far off from joining the even younger Burrows room. I kind of felt bad for the tiny guy, seeing that room as little more than a holding facility for those too young to basically do anything, but he was perfect to be my leading dragon today. “Okay, Donny. You just sit here,” I instructed him, using his subpar walking skills to my advantage, “and jus’ say ‘grrr’ or ‘rawww’ evewy once in a while, o’ when I tell you to, ‘kay?” Donny looked up at me, and due to his thumb firmly pocketed in his mouth, he just giggled and nodded. I wasn’t sure how terrifying he was going to be at being my scary dragon today with his thumb in his mouth like that, but still, he at least seemed happy to play his part. So, I then turned to Jimmy. “Okay, Jimmy. You’s goin’ to be my knight in shinnin’ awmo’. Sound good?” I asked, already knowing what his answer was going to be. Apparently, in his former life, he was quite the ladies’ man and seeing his still-chiseled jaw and deep eyes, it wouldn’t surprise me. Anyone seeing him now though, clearly diapered and on his way down the regression pole, wouldn’t be faulted for doubting that story. For my purposes however, he was perfect to be my brave warrior. As expected, Jimmy nodded quickly. “I’ll save you, mi wadee!” My would-be hero even dropped to one knee and picked up a nearby stick as his trusty sword. I just smiled at how perfect all this was turning out to be. So, all set, we began. I perched myself in the tallest tower, being sure to grip onto the railing up there, at least just to avoid being reminded to do so by Nancy… again. She made a bit of a scene last week and some of the more taunting Littles couldn’t help but laugh at me afterward. Determined to not repeat that mistake again, I held firm with one hand, and then called out to my hero below. “Oh, Siw James!” I cried. Jimmy didn’t turn and then it struck me what was wrong. Unfortunately, I started to notice that some of the younger minded Littles began to forget bits of their old life. It scared me something awful at first, but I just learned to cope with it like most other things around here. Jimmy probably only was ever called ‘Jimmy’ now, so that’s probably all he knew. Sighing a bit, I started again. “Oh, Siw Jimmy!” I cried out again. This time, he turned up to me. “My wadee!” he called back, more squealing than chivalrous, but it was still what I was looking for. Smiling, I looked down and hoped everything would work out today. So, a good time later, Sir Jimmy and I, the Princess Poppy, navigated the hallowed halls of our castle and then the wilds of my surrounding kingdom. Donny just sat in fascination as he watched us, and just to keep things interesting, occasionally, I would point to him to make his noises. To my surprise, he usually took his thumb out of his mouth, even if just temporarily, to say his line. Some spittle and drool fell out onto his shirt and the mulch underneath him half the time, but he still was a very good dragon for our playtime today. Finally, we were getting to the end just as I could tell the day was getting late. I felt a tiny urge to go potty, but seeing we were so close to the end, I just pushed through. Honestly, for a second, I was a little envious of Donny and Jimmy, both of whom clearly used their diapers since we began, but I quickly brushed the thought aside. I was not a baby. “Huwwy, siw Jimmy! The dwagon is this way!” I called out, donning my own trusty sword stick. “Yes, mi wadee! No mo’ bad dwagon aftuh I get dem!” he heroically charged. We both then ran headlong right into the underside of one of the slides that just happened to be where Donny had crawled off to at one point. It made a convincing cave as we approached, and I then pointed to Donny. Once again, he popped his now likely dirty thumb out of his mouth. “Grrr! Rawww!” he shouted. “Oh no! We doomed!” I clung to Jimmy’s arm, and for a second, I thought he almost looked at me the way I would expect any date back home to, but doing a little of improv I guess, Donny yelled out again when I hadn’t even cued him and stopped the moment. “Rawww! Fiah!” He then half-spit, half-gurgled and looked angrier than I had ever seen him. It was hard to understand what he was doing, and it wasn’t part of my plan, but those noises plus ‘fiah’ and being a dragon, to my delight, I just assumed he was spraying fire. Smiling and taking the moment to act a little fearful, I looked back at Jimmy. “We done fo’ Siw Jimmy. He’s spittin’ fire!” Jimmy patted my interlocked arm with his and gave me a tiny little smile. Something told me, that despite his well-used diaper and the large cartoon bird on his shirt, there was still a tiny part of him in there. “Togethuh…” I nodded, smiled, and we both then turned and ran at Donny, both our stick swords pointed right at him. Donny gave one last “Raww!” to us, but Jimmy poked him first. It was just a tiny jab, but I could already tell that Donny’s regressed emotions were getting the better of him. Panicking and not wanting to cause a scene, I adjusted my original ending a bit. I bent down and tried to seem sad. “Oh! Wha’ have we done! This poh lonely cweatuh…” I then had an idea and snapped off one of my purple hair clips. “With dis… potion of healin’… I…” thinking quickly, but knowing my audience, I just made up the first thing that popped into my head. “This will heal you!” I then bopped the hairclip right onto Donny outstretched belly. Nothing happened at first, but to add a little extra magic at the end, I started to tickle his belly. In seconds, he was a fit of giggles. “Da Dwagon is healed! He goo’ now?” Jimmy asked innocently as I reclipped my hair clip. Seeing his wide hopeful eyes, I nodded. “Yes, Siw Jimmy, we saved the dwagon an’ the land. He shall be a good dwagon fwom now on!” We all then hugged over our successful journey, but it seemed right in the nick of time, as both of their caregivers began to call them over. I waved goodbye as each left, and I sighed in happiness, but the moment didn’t last long. Right then, though, my bladder twinged, and my eyes bulged in fear. “Oh sh…!” I looked around and gratefully spotted Nancy. I then ran over to her. “Nancy! Nancy! I need help!” I yelled out in panic. Worrying something was desperately wrong with me, Nancy bolted up and ran over to me. “What? What is it? Did you get hurt? Did those boys hurt you?” She even began checking my hair and then my eyes. I quickly stopped her, my urgent need only growing stronger. “No, Nancy… I have to… have tuh…” I then crossed my legs and started to squirm helplessly. No matter how bad I had to go right then, I just couldn’t get myself to say ‘potty’ out loud. Stupid? Maybe, but it is what it is. Looking down at my obvious potty dance, Nancy’s face became a little calmer, but her eyes took on a look of recognition and urgency. “Oh. I see. Well, come on there!” Without thinking or taking a second to ask, she grabbed my hand, wheeled around to retrieve her backpack, and ran across the large lawn in the park to the restroom at the top of the hill. Gratefully, no one was inside, so Nancy made quick work of undoing my pants and dropping everything before resting me on the large white potty inside, still holding onto me so I wouldn’t fall through the extremely large lid. I saw the door wasn’t even shut for the first few seconds, but I honestly couldn’t care less. I was just so relieved that I had made it, and looking down, hadn’t leaked out into my pull-up. Like me, the real Princess Poppy remained dry and as happy as ever. Beaming with an almost unusual amount of joy and pride, Nancy then helped me off the potty and readjusted everything back into place. Once back out of the stall, she bent down and looked at me face to face. “Emma. I’m just so proud of you. I know everything’s been a bit difficult lately, but you’ve handled it so well. You’ve made me so happy, understand?” Just feeling her radiant praise once again, I only nodded back in relief and happiness. For her part, Nancy seemed positively thrilled, and after a good handwashing, we both then walked back outside. Before we did though, I saw the large me-sized changing tables in the corner of the restroom. Seeing as the potties were Big-sized and the changing tables were my size, a tiny fear managed to slip into my head. Still, once outside, realizing it was getting dark, Nancy and I headed back ho… to her house and then made and ate dinner together. Once all that was done, Nancy and I watched a little TV before bed. While I knew she liked her procedural dramas better, I had recently taken a keen interest in, who would have ever guessed, Princess Poppy. I wasn’t sure what it was, but she just spoke to me in a way that so many other characters on Littles TV didn’t. She didn’t make me feel fuzzy or loopy after… just more like I had learned an important lesson. It might have been sharing or not telling lies, but I still found it endearing in a way that I couldn’t shake. Regardless, I yawned, and chuckling, Nancy turned off the TV and looked back at me. “Okay, missy. I know it was a fun day and all, but I know someone who needs to get their rest. It still felt way too early, but yawning again, I just sleepily nodded. After helping me back up the stairs, Nancy drew me a quick bath and let me do my own business. I kept slipping with the soap, and Nancy offered several times to come in and help me, but I still felt a streak of some kind of independence. Fading perhaps, but it still lingered, so I always said no. Once all that was done though, Nancy waited for me in my room alongside my pajamas and maybe even something behind her back. Usually, she would just help me with my pull-up and pajamas, but this felt different somehow. Worried, I asked, “Is somethin’ wong?” She shook her head and just patted the bed beside her. Nodding slowly, I sat next to her before she sighed. “Emma… this morning, and a lot of other mornings recently in fact… your pull-up… it’s been a little wet.” I looked down at my feet in shame. “I’m sowwy…” My voice even cracked a little. Nancy then pulled my head gently to look at her right in the eyes. “Look at me, sweetie. I want you to know that I would never blame you for something like that. You can’t help it. It’s just something that happens to a lot of Littles here over time. You must have just hit that limit recently.” “Buh so much… it feels so hawd!” I felt I was on the verge of tears, but right before they started to fall, Nancy pulled my towel-only clad body into hers. Oddly, her warmth just kinda felt nice… safe even. I still felt upset, but my tears subsided for the moment at least. “Honey… life can be hard sometimes. It’s how we face it that matters.” She paused for a moment and then smiled down at me. “Think about when you were a princess today.” I nearly recoiled in shock and tiny bit of embarrassment. “You saw that?” Nancy chuckled. “I did, but don’t be embarrassed. It was nice seeing you so happy out there, but at the end, before you came running up to me… I saw you save the dragon. Because Donny was upset, right?” I nodded, marveling at just how well she was getting to know me and my usual outcomes in those scenes. Most of the time, the dragon would be slayed, but since Donny wasn’t, Nancy likely knew there had to be a reason. “Exactly. You changed the outcome based on what you were witnessing,” she began to explain. “Donny was upset, and you reacted. You didn’t just sit there and let him cry… you made an effort to help him… help the situation.” She then reached behind and pulled out something that made me tremble in fear more than anything else in this world. “Like that situation, I think we need to react to this one you’re having at night.” She then moved the diaper closer to me. Nancy though, saw my fear of the crisp white object, and hugged me a little closer. “It’s okay, Emma. It’s just a diaper. It’s not bad. Just a little more protective than your pull-up. If you like it, I can get you some Princess Poppy diapers even, but tiny steps first. Are you willing to try it out for at least one night? Just in case?” I thought about it about as hard as I could right then. At daycare, everyone knew that diapers during the day were a one-way ticket into the Meadows room. As it was, Anna was nearly there and I had comforted her after she wet her dress the other day, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to join her. Wearing them, even at night, felt like such a big leap downward. I still wanted to go home after all. What would my students or even friends say if they ever found out? Still though, the diaper lingered in front of me. It was nearly completely white, save for a few pink and purple swirls along the waistband. Not babyish to my relief, but the whole concept felt babyish enough as it was. Seeing the pail Nancy had set up in my room though, I knew she was right. I was so wet this morning and very uncomfortable after just a moment in bed. If it was just for one night, I felt I could at least try that. So, regretting everything and fearful of what was next, I just nodded. Nancy limply smiled and then gave me a tighter squeeze. “I’m very proud of you, Emma.” We just sat there for a moment, the diaper still calling out, but finally, Nancy spoke back up. “Let me just help you with these, okay?” I could only helplessly nod back to her. Then, as if in my darkest nightmares, despite my reluctance to wear them for one night, I let her ease me to my feet as she then produced a single changing pad and laid it on my bed. It was all covered in tiaras, diamonds, and was of course pink to my small delight, but it still represented something nearly unthinkable to me about a month ago now. “Okay, honey. Just keep breathing and all this will be over in a sec.” Again, I could only nod, as she then removed my towel and gingerly guided me back onto the pad. I had never felt so vulnerable in my life, and I just squeezed my eyes in terror as I began to hear the tell-tale rustling of plastic right above me. In moments, it just got worse, as I felt Nancy’s hand firmly grip my legs and lift them to the ceiling. I had been vulnerable here before. My three spankings in daycare were evident of that, but Nancy… she was different. At first, we just seemed like roommates, but there was a tiny voice in my head that had been growing recently. I thought it was just the usual dynamics of being small in this dimension, but the more I thought, the more I couldn’t deny something I horrifically thought about one day. After all, though I’m sure some situations existed this way, one roommate doesn’t diaper the other. Here, in this dimension however, another title was applied to that person, but I just couldn’t find the power inside of me to even think it right then. Regardless, my thoughts soon shifted to my own situation where Nancy glided a cold wet wipe along my unmentionables, or at least that’s what Anna tried calling them the other day. Feeling so exposed, humiliated, and terrified, I even whimpered a little. “Oh, I’m sorry honey. I know their cold, but just one more moment. We’re almost done.” I just mournfully nodded back, and Nancy kept right on going. As she said though, soon after, I coughed a little as I smelled the horrible scent of baby powder. ‘Oh gosh! Does this make me a baby now?’ I just tried shaking that thought away. It was just for tonight, but as Nancy sealed the front of the impossibly thick foreign diaper up between my legs, my confidence in that notion wavered a little. “Okay, sweetie. You can open your eyes now. It’s all done.” I did and looked down at the near cloud-like garment surrounding my lower half. I was mortified but couldn’t help but poke at the terrible thing. I think I would die on the spot if anyone knew about this, but Nancy just patted my shoulder and helped me up to finish the nightly routine. It was getting late after all. Smiling gently, Nancy then helped me into some pink polka dotted purple pajamas, leaving nothing to the imagination to my shame over what I was wearing underneath, guided me as I brushed my teeth, and then tucked me in for the night. As usual, she left my bedside table light on and a book for me to read. I often would pass out while reading it lately, but I always noticed it was neatly placed back on my nightstand in the morning. I knew at that moment that Nancy would check up on me during the night, and to be honest, it just kind of made me feel safe for some strange reason. Tonight, though, just as Nancy started to leave, I asked her a single question that froze her in her tracks. “Nancy… can you wead to me?” I almost thought I broke her for a moment, but she spun around and looked at me like she did whenever I would mess up something for the first time. Instantly, I felt I had done something wrong. “What did you say to me?” I cowered in fear that I was about to get in trouble, but I just repeated my question. I mean, to be frank, I was having some trouble reading lately, and Nancy was there, so I just had to ask. I’d rather ask than not at least hear a story before bed. “Please don’ be mad, Nancy… jus… can you wead to me?” I offered the book, almost acting like my shield, up to the Big. Nancy took the book in seeming bewilderment, but to my relief, simply grinned down at me. “Of course I will, Emma. Don’t ever be scared to ask me something like that, okay?” I just nodded and smiled back. “Good. Now, scoot over.” I did so and Nancy flipped open to the first page after settling in. “Once upon a time, there was a farmer named George. George lived in village far from anywhere else but dreamed of adventure.” I smiled and feeling a little sleepy, I really didn’t mean to, but my head slowly drifted over and onto Nancy. At first, she seemed startled and paused before flipping the page, but then just leaned her head against mine and continued to read to me. I felt that I could still read the illustrated pages in front of me, but Nancy was here, and she now just seemed happy to do it. I felt like we both won tonight, and in this world, I felt that was never a bad thing. So, I just snuggled into Nancy further, and listened to her as I drifted off, peaceful and happy.

Chapter 108: General Gao’s BETH TEXTED ME the following morning and said she was skipping breakfast to take care of an errand with Reila, so I sat down with Amy, Mia, and Willow. “Not with your girlfriend today?” Mia asked curiously. I didn’t even bother correcting her, “She had something to do.” I munched on one of the giant pieces of bacon right then, swallowing and asking, “Did you three want to go shopping on Saturday?” “I thought you said it was a bad idea?” Amy said. I nodded, “It would have been by yourselves. We’ll have Beth, Reila, probably Livy, and also Beth’s bodyguard with us?” “That’s a large group?” Willow asked. “That’s kind of hard to move around with?” I shrugged, “If you want to get adopted, go with a smaller group. If you just want to shop and get a chance to see more than the university grounds, that’ll be the safest way?” “How do you get to go off-campus so much?” Zoey, another member of our new nest, asked. “My grandmother?” I told her. “Who is she?” “Amanda Westerfield?” I answered. “That is?” She asked, “I’m not from Ames?” she added with the gasps from a couple of her friends added to the sounds around us. I smiled, “You know the new student union building? Westerfield Hall?” She nodded, “Your grandparents gave the money for it?” “I don’t know if they contributed, but it was named in honor of my grandmother. She’s a big deal in AI and nanite technology advances here. She won the Bremer Prize recently?” Her eyes finally signaled some recognition, “So she’s like really smart?” I giggled, “You could say that.” By the end of breakfast, I planned to meet my friends and get picked up by my grandmother and Nikki. I walked with some friends toward the Matisse Center. I soon sat in Screenwriting class, where all our animated scripts were due. We also went over our next assignment, which would be the next Narratives project. “Okay, for this next assignment, I’m going to not just give you the medium of the film, but we’re also going to have everyone focus on the same thematic idea. This film is to be between fifteen and twenty minutes long and should focus on the theme of betrayal.” “That’s all?” Mason, one of our studio members, asked. “Nothing more specific?” Professor Gibney shook his head, “I don’t want to dictate the project for you. I will say it could be a betrayal of love, country, pet, or any other kind of betrayal you can think of?” As we left class, I was already thinking of some ideas. Right then, I also realized that my diaper was undoubtedly getting close to needing a change. I had zero plans to go to one of the HoloNannies, though! I decided to hang out near Beth’s class again and work on my script ideas. By the time her class ended an hour later, I already had three good ideas and ten pages written for each! “Hey,” she said when she saw me. “Hi, Beth,” I told her with a smile, then went up to her and embraced her. She picked me up and discreetly felt my bottom, “Didn’t feel like using the HoloNannies to change?” I made a face that she and Nikki both laughed at. “Would you mind?” I asked sheepishly. She laughed, “If I have to! It’s just wet, right?” I blushed deeper but nodded. Soon, changed out of the diaper and into a fresh one; we headed for the student union and hit one of the pizza places. She ordered two ‘big’ slices and gave me half of one to eat. “You know, this half of a slice is still like half a pizza back home!” She shook her head, “I really would love to see what your proportions look like to me?” “I wonder what would even happen if you went over?” She shrugged, “I know there are Mids and Bigs who have gone over to work with companies in the past?” “Wait, really?” She nodded, “There is a company called Diamond Tours that has become kind of notorious for luring new Littles here?” She took a bite, chewed, and swallowed, “Supposedly, their entire office on the other side is made up of Bigs?” “Actually, I think that’s the company my mom and grandparents used to come here. How do we not know this about their staff, though?” She shrugged, “I’ve only heard bits and pieces through Mom and Dad, but I guess the portal either automatically shrinks them to being just in the tall category there, or they manipulate people themselves?” “So what’s the racket? Convince people to come over, immediately adopt them?” She shrugged, “Obviously, they don’t claim everyone if your mom and her parents made it back?” I nodded, “Then there are idiots like my exchange group?” She nodded, “You’ve already had several adopted.” “Including one of our professors,” I shook my head and took a few more bites. “It was all worth it, though, to meet you,” I said with a smile. She smiled back, “I’m glad you came too!” “Say…” I said nervously, “I had a thought about tomorrow. Before Grandma takes us home, would you be open to going out to dinner and a movie?” She smiled, “Carly Slane, are you asking me out on a date?” I smiled back, “Uh-huh?” “Where are we eating…?” The two of us discussed the ideas Shelby had helped me with, and she agreed to the plan before we went to sneak in some editing time before our class. We got three more scenes edited before our Narratives class began. BETH SAT IN their Narratives class beside Carly and Charlotte, watching as the professor talked about some different depth-of-field effects you could accomplish either during filming or in your post-production edits. The images projected did look really cool, but she felt most of the techniques were above her. A look at Carly showed her intense concentration and a smile, though. ‘She’s such a nerd sometimes!’ she giggled to herself. Professor Wyler lectured and demonstrated the technology for the first thirty minutes of class before saying, “I want to give you all some time to work on your projects as a group since I know many of you are having trouble scheduling time you can meet. This’ll give you at least an extra couple of hours, which I hope will help those struggling groups.” Beth smiled. With the rhythm Carly and she had been getting into, they could make much more progress that afternoon than they had planned! “Before we go, I want to offer everyone one more challenge you must complete by class on Tuesday.” Beth noticed most of the groups stop from the moving they’d just begun; several seemed almost desperate then. “So, the project is to create a studio logo splash clip for the beginning of your films. I will have a few faculty members select their preference and award the top group two million credits, second place, one million, third, seven-fifty, and fourth; as long as you complete it, you will get four hundred thousand. The splash screens should last between five and twenty seconds long. The cooler and more relevant, the better!” There was some excited chatter around the room and some questions before he dismissed everyone. “How is the editing coming?” Charlotte asked her and Carly. “Pretty good?” Carly said. We’re starting to wrap up Act One in our first edit. Beth and I have a pretty good rhythm going and were flying earlier. I think we can get another eight hours in right now and hopefully finish by tomorrow afternoon. Otherwise, we might come in on Saturday.” “Sounds like a plan,” Charlotte said. “Don’t feel like you have to kill yourselves though. We could get some work done on Monday and Tuesday. I’ve already reserved the student who will compose the music for the film.” “Cool,” Beth said. “What about this project?” “We’ll work on it with Ethan, Sophie, and Will,” Charlotte said. “While Carly would be good at this, I want you guys just to focus on the edit?” Beth nodded, “Okay.” “Let me know when you get done. If it’s by Monday, we might schedule a viewing of the rough with everyone.” “Okay,” Carly said. “Come on, Beth, let’s get to work…” She jumped off the chair and pulled her backpack over her shoulders. “Such a taskmaster!” Beth kidded Carly. Carly giggled in response, and they made their way to the editing studio. Nikki checked the room first and then stationed herself to watch over them. “Why don’t I order some food to be delivered?” Beth suggested. “That way, we won’t have to worry about you skipping dinner.” “Sounds great!” Carly told her. “What do you want?” Carly shrugged, “Not pizza? I could maybe go for something like General Tso’s chicken?” “Huh?” Carly looked thoughtful, “Wait, Mom said it’s called General Gao’s here?” Beth nervously nodded. Nikki spoke up, though, “Are you sure you want that? That’s really spicy?” Beth and Carly both laughed, “She probably does,” Beth said. “This one has a crazy spice tolerance. She actually won a back-to-school contest a few weeks ago. You want something, too?” She asked the bodyguard, who had been practically blending into the wall until then. “Sure…” One thing Beth had always appreciated about the local Chinese food place she ordered from was that they would come to find you in a building you were working on. So it was that Carly continued working on editing, even as they took delivery of their food. They’d just made it to the scene in the playroom the day of ‘Bree’s adoption.’ “Why don’t we stop and eat, then we’ll keep going?” Beth suggested. Carly shrugged, and they all gathered around a table on the back side of the room to split up the order. She shook her head at Nikki, watching Carly eat the first bite. She was pretty good about not being a mommy type herself, but you could see she was already planning how to rescue the crazy Little! Carly seemed to have sensed it as she smiled and enjoyed the first bite. “You really can eat that?” Nikki asked. “It’s delicious!” Carly told her. “You want a piece?” Nikki clearly couldn’t believe it was the regular dish, so she used her own chopsticks to take a piece of the meat and placed it in her mouth. She chewed before rapidly chugging some of her drink! “That’s not spicy?” She asked in disbelief! As if to prove a point, Carly grabbed one of the peppers and bit about half of it off into her mouth. “These are great! But really, I’d rate them maybe a mild poblano or jalapeno back home?” She shrugged and kept eating. “She really is an alien…” Nikki muttered, and the three of them laughed! After watching Carly scarf down food that should have been impossible to eat, she watched her switch back to editing and gradually move faster and faster. They did have to stop and enjoy the improv footage from the tea party, though! They were just getting ready to splice some clips together when a knock came on the door, and it opened. I TURNED AND found Charlotte and Sebastian at the door. “Hey guys,” I said, “What’s up?” “Just wanted to see how you two are getting on?” Charlotte asked. “Pretty good,” I told her. “Just about to finish the tea party scene?” They both chuckled, “I wish we could include the original,” Sebastian said. “Be careful with that one, though. I don’t think you violated any of your stupid Little’s rules, but it’s close to the line?” I nodded, “I actually scrubbed the audio from the original files on the system already.” I didn’t tell them I kept a copy in a strongly encrypted file on a personal storage device, though! ‘I know that no one will ever access it who I don’t to, though!’ “So, when do you think you’ll be able to finish this rough cut?” Charlotte asked. I shrugged and looked at the time, “We’ve got about ten more scenes to go; I’m hoping by the time I have to leave to go to the nest, we can be down to two or three left?” “That’s fast; you’re being careful with the cuts?” Sebastian asked. “She is,” Beth said for me. “The parts already look like a finished product to me. She keeps saying there are more things to do, but I sure can’t tell?” I shrugged, “I want to play with the transition effects some more for timing. Some of that, though, doesn’t make sense to get too nit-picky until we have the soundtrack. We also need to add sound effects to some scenes. I’ll work on that early next week, though.” “It sounds like you two have it in hand. Can you let us know when it’s done?” Charlotte asked. “Sure! Why don’t we plan to meet with anyone who wants to see the rough cut around 20 o’clock on Monday?” I said. “Bring your own pizza?” “Sure, we should be able to access one of the small viewing theaters, too,” Sebastian said. “Have a good weekend,” he said, pulling Charlotte from the room and letting us return to the editing. “Think they don’t trust us?” I asked once the door was closed. “No, they definitely do!” Beth said, “I think it’s more the helpless feeling of this part being out of their hands?” “Well, you can’t exactly have a full group working on this part?” I responded. “No, and I think that letting go is tough sometimes,” she smiled beside me. “I can kind of understand? You’re pretty much doing the whole thing right now.” I blushed, “Sorry?” “It’s your major; you should be the one doing it!” I continued working as quickly but carefully as possible. I hated seeing my original self in the early cuts, but I couldn’t help but smile anytime there was a close-up of my new face. I loved the hairstyles they’d used, and the outfits were cute—if only they weren’t as infantile! I couldn’t help but love my new self a lot more, though! The editing passed with a series of steps for each set of shots. Step one was using Beth’s notes to determine which take was the best. She had done a great job, and I couldn’t disagree with her choices on the Edit Decision List she drew up. With the editing software, it was a quick press of options to have all of the camera shots from that take available to quickly glance through the script and see what looked good for a selection. I would alternate close-ups, medium shots, and wide shots depending on what made sense to tell the story. Each time I did a close-up of Beth, I also felt butterflies in my stomach. Charlotte was a professionally fun actress in all of her shots. She was so talented! Little things like a raise of her eyebrow, a slight turn up of her lips, or tensing of her body told the story so well in anything she did! You could take the audio out of the clip and still be able to read what she was saying and doing! That really applied to most of the cast, though! Ava was the one exception. She really struggled to act the part of the daycare owner believably. I could see why Beth had so much footage of the time in the daycare playing because it took multiple takes to get a scene good enough for her. Even then, I found myself using some creative shots and cuts to use her voice and avoid her facial expressions, which tended to be rather dull or unrealistic. I hated the subject matter of the film, but there was a sense of pride in my being as I completed each part of it. It probably helped that even though I enjoyed my appearance, it still took me a moment to recognize myself as the actress in the scenes! To my surprise, it was soon twenty minutes from when I was supposed to be in the dorm, and I had just one last scene to finish! “I want to stay!” I complained, even as I followed Beth’s directions and saved, backed up, and logged out of everything. “I know, but the last thing we want to do is have a curfew violation for you?” I nodded, “Yeah…” As I stood up, I realized we’d never changed my diaper again, and it was practically all hanging below the level of my skirt! Beth had just put her backpack on and smirked, “That’s a little wet…?” “I noticed,” I said, looking at the clock. “Do you think you can deal with it until you get back to your nest?” Beth asked. “Time is running out?” “If you carry me?” I said with a sigh. “Just don’t leak on me,” she said half-seriously. “They’re usually pretty good about not doing that. But no promises?” She risked it, gathering me up and walking beside Nikki quickly to the dorms. When we reached Sanders Hall, she sat me down at the door, and I grimaced. “Sorry, Beth. I did leak on you, it looks like.” Thankfully, her jacket was waterproof, but there was a definite spot on her side where my diaper contacted her. “It’s okay, Carly, that’ll teach me to make sure we check your diaper more often! Get inside and get Miss Lilly to change you quickly before you leak on anything else!” she advised as she knelt down and risked getting wet again with a hug. “See you in the morning,” I told her, “Love you,” I added softly. “Love you too,” she smiled at me. I was just crossing the lobby to the elevator when I saw Mackenzie. “Well, hello there,” she said, “I haven’t seen you all week except in the pool!” I blushed, “Sorry, it’s been a busy week, and I’ve been working on that film project.” “Is that where you’re coming from now?” I nodded, “Yeah, we were trying to get as much done today as we could.” “Too busy to change that diapee?” I squirmed under her gaze as she knelt in front of me, clearly able to see the soaked diaper hanging below my skirt! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the Like button and leave a comment! My writing drought has continued through this week, but I'm hoping this weekend that I may have a shot at writing more again. We'll see what my mindset is like. Unless I have a massively productive weekend, we'll definitely be back on once per week again for a while. Thanks for your patience here!

Hey everyone! Sorry about the later posting than I was expecting originally. I was all set to edit this chapter last night, but then an emergency came up and I had to push it after my busy day today. Should be able to pop several more of these chapters out this week, so stay tuned. As promised, located next are the two ideas for the story after this one. I usually will give three options, but these were too close to call last time, so just let me know which of them you all would prefer for what I write next. If they are nearly tied again though, I will take the runner-up and add it to my next poll with already some backing behind it. Bethany Set as a semi-sequel to The Opening, follow former drug runner, Bethany, as she strives to find herself a better life that has been promised in the newly discovered dimension, tentatively called, ‘The Amazon Dimension,’ though some have begun calling it another name due to the ever-increasing rumors of something awaiting all portal Littles on the other side. Join Bethany as she looks to turn her life around there and maybe even find a redemption of sorts and something else in the most unexpected of ways. Watch out though, in this new world, new and even greater dangers than the ones she left lurk around every corner. Tell Me More Sequel With this shorter story, continue with Dr. Trisha Mengell from Tell Me More as she dives further into the lives of her patients following the FOY incident over a year ago now. All seems as well as can be with her various Little patients until she notices a frightening pattern begins to develop over time during each session. While it could be nothing and just a fluke in the city or her patient’s mind’s turning softer and more imaginative, follow the good doctor as she explores the truth behind what she might suspect within the very system that she herself is a part of. Moving forward, I will be trying to post as much as I can, barring any emergencies that happen to crop up. My goal is to try and finish this story before the end of the month and try to go quickly with my next one as well so that I don’t have another break coming up next month right in the middle of my story. It’s not the worst, but it’s a big pause that I would like to avoid if all possible. Fingers crossed, but I will let you all know here if anything changes with this plan. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 2: Being a Little Can Be So Complicated Sometimes William Shakespeare once wrote that ‘Hell is empty and all the devils are here.’ Well, I highly doubt that old Billy ever came to this dimension or spent time in a Little’s foster home facility before, but I have to imagine that he experienced at least the next worst thing. See, Nancy and I talked for a long while, but being a shivering Little who’s been bruised and had their clothing ripped into who is also seated between two major players in dealing with Littles, I had no chance of escape it turned out. So, the police had taken me in, but Nancy had essentially assigned herself to me to be my proverbial guardian angel. I don’t even think they believe in that type of stuff here, but she made sure that I was treated well and at least sent to a nice foster home until further plans could be made for me. I wanted to be grateful that I hadn’t ended up worse, like I had heard happened to so many others, but my times at the foster home were trying to say the least. Despite the fact that it was determined and pushed by Nancy that I would be treated ‘older’ amongst the other Littles, I later realized that age is pretty much all relative here when it came to the treatment of my kind in this society. My current multi-colored and star-adorned white training panties, green tights, black Velcro shoes, and cotton dress with the words ‘super awesome’ did little to assuage me that I was really the ‘big girl’ others claimed I was. I suppose, now looking around the room once again to ground myself in my new reality, that things could always be worse. After all, I was wearing leg coverings of some kind, I could walk around, and above all, I wasn’t wearing diapers. Training panties were no picnic, but I knew the same qualities I took pride in that I still had, could not be said for some of my fellow foster Littles. So, since I had gotten here late that night and was given my intro bag for ‘big girls,’ I had been assigned to the older of the three levels assigned to us Littles. Currently, I was the only one up here in the oldest of the rooms, but I was assured by Mrs. Tatum, the supervisor foster mom here, that it wouldn’t stay that way forever. That was two weeks ago, and I quickly realized that being untouched or at least considered a ‘big girl’ around here was pretty rare. Most who came were assigned to one of the lower rooms. It was lonely existence most days, but fortunately, I just busied myself in reading. Mrs. Tatum had a wonderful library, and though most seemed to cater toward the belittlement of Littles in some form or fashion, they still provided me with a way of passing the time. I had already breezed through about six of them, and it would have been more if not for a certain task I was asked to provide, even right now by a few of the other Littles here. See, Mrs. Tatum was only one woman. While her daughter helped during some afternoons, nights, and at least part of the weekend, the other times she had to rely on government-provided volunteers. Seeing I was a teacher and avid reader though, I was gingerly asked if I could provide story time to the other Littles here to give the Bigs at least some free time. Feeling an underlying tension and authority just swell around the kindly but intimidating Big, I accepted my new role. “Miss Emily! Miss Emily!” Taylor, one of the mildly regressed Littles shouted as he pulled on the hem of my dress to get my attention as I had previously buried my head in a book. I gently flopped the book to my chest and peered over at the early 20-something Little now before me. His midsection bulged in a way that could only mean one thing and he was constantly sucking on his fingers when not yelling, laughing, or getting my attention, but he was still okay by me. “Yes, Taylor?” I asked, almost having to distance myself with the other Littles and treat them like the toddlers or babies they often acted like. “Wead to us?” he begged, his eyes bulging practically with tears. He had gotten good at trying to convince me to play with him and his friends, or like now, read to them. Very good. I rolled my eyes and groaned a little bit, having just stopped in the middle of the climax of my own story, but I knew the concept of waiting wasn’t big on most of the Littles here, so I sighed and set my book down. “Okay, but just one for now though, okay? I know it’s nearly naptime and Mrs. Tatum wants you all to get at least one nap in this afternoon.” “Awww!” he said in frustration, going as far as to even smack his foot on the ground. I then stood up and while we almost stood eye to eye, something about the loss of height for some Littles coming through the portal still and his mentality, I could feel him shrink under my watch. It was disheartening to see the former marketing major college student behave in such a way, but after one Big commented on how cute it was that I was playing with the babies one day, I felt the more separation between us, the better off I would be at least. “You know the rules, Taylor. I don’t make them, but just try and be good for me. Can you be a big boy and do that for me?” I then played along with his little game of conspiracies of Bigs everywhere and looked around to see if anyone was listening in before I then leaned over to him and whispered. “I even heard there might be a treat for some of you all if you were behaved today…” His facial features immediately became shocked, and his body went rigid like he was some soldier on parade. I half expected him to salute me right then. “Oh! I’ll be good! I’ll be good! I pwomise!” With that, he then speedily took off back to his level’s playroom, where I knew the rest would be waiting as well. I of course was stretching the truth a tad, just to keep him and the others in line, but given Mrs. Tatum and the way she cared about those under her watch, I highly doubted that there wouldn’t be a treat of some kind tonight. Taylor and the others didn’t need to know that it really wasn’t contingent on their behavior for me during story time. It could’ve been bad if they ever caught on, but for a few moments each time I reminded them, I knew each of the Littles I was about to confront during story time would be on their best behavior, just like always. So, I sighed and went downstairs to the toddler level room. Mrs. Tatum had converted it and the other floors for us Littles into three parts. They were comprised of a single large room and bathroom beyond the hallway outside of them that contained the staircase between levels. This way, the door could be closed to each room easily to allow for naptimes but still have a wide-open space inside for playtime or sleeping when the time was right. Now, when I walked in, each of the Littles were messing around with their own toys, playing make believe, or coloring. As soon as I stepped beyond the threshold though, the six Littles in the room immediately swarmed me. “Woah! Easy there, you all!” I panicked slightly as each tried to climb up on me as if they were really children and I was the adult in this society they thought I was, rather than just everyone here being an adult. Still, despite my outfit and the bruises I was sure to get by tonight, it was nice that I was able to feel mature for one single moment around here. When a Little nearly headbutted me though, I had to put my foot down. “Floor now, or no desert tonight!” A series of gasps flooded the room and every Little hit the floor as if someone had just announced there was an incoming mortar strike. One of the Littles, Justin, quickly looked up at me with wide eyes. “Pwease, Miss Em. We be good. Wight?” he asked as he turned around and asked his fellow Littles. Most nodded right away. Satisfied, he turned back to me and gave me the biggest pleading face I had seen yet here. “Pwease still wead to us?” I chuckled a little at the sight before me. “Oh, alright. I can’t say no to that face, but I need everyone to be on their best behavior, okay?” Each of the Littles before me nodded once again and I took my seat over on the rocking chair in the corner of the room by the shelf of books. Of course, the wood and blue chair showed me just how I small I really was in this world, but only people like me or the Bigs here could sit in it. So, to most everyone else here, it was practically my throne and I smiled as my subjects gathered before me. “Okay… which book did you all want to listen to today?” Each Little started sputtering several titles all at once to me, but I looked over the room and when I saw that Izzy was raising her hand, I raised my hand to quiet the room and then chose her. “Me?” she asked nervously. I nodded. “Yes, Izzy. I chose you today. What do you want me to read aloud today, huh?” The Little scanned the books still not picked off up the floor and then to the ones on the bookshelf. I could see she was struggling to see, or maybe even to read them, and I almost offered to help her out, knowing full well that many Littles sadly lost their ability to read, but she then piped back up. “Uh, can you read If You Give an Alces a Koulouri?” I smiled and nodded. It was quickly becoming one of my favorites to read aloud, as not only was it silly and therefore entertaining to the Littles before me, but because it largely dealt with animals, it was one of the few that didn’t put us Littles down or just outright praise the Bigs. So, smiling, I picked up the book from nearby and opened it to the first page. “Can everyone see?” I saw every Little enthusiastically nod their heads. “Okay…” I then looked to the first page and began. “If you give an alces a koulouri…” I lingered on the page for a moment so everyone could see the moose-like creature on the first page, but using my experience in reading to kids, which is practically most of them were mentally, I then flipped to the next page. “Then he’ll want some cream cheese to go along with it.” A few of the Littles giggled at the humorous imagery and I continued on, knowing that I had them hooked now. Several pages later, filled with the alces ending up with a bunch of koulouris on their wide antlers, and then one more book after that by popular demand, I could see that many of the Littles were already starting to nod off. I still finished the last book, but as soon as I closed the page, I saw a smiling Mrs. Tatum standing nearby. “Thank you, Emily. I think you might just have the magic touch.” I blushed a little at the praise, but I was just glad it was something positive said about me. “Maybe, but I think everyone was tired from the outing in the park earlier today. That really seems to do the trick.” Mrs. Tatum smiled and entered the room fully while two of her volunteers came in behind her. One was a Middle and the other was a Big. I got the distinct opinion that both minded my presence here, but both also took advantage of their time off when I read any of the stories aloud and distracted my fellow Littles. Sensing that it was now naptime, I soon exited the room. Before I did though, Mrs. Tatum gently and briefly paused me. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in a nap as well? Might feel nice.” I hated her persistent question, despite the fact that I was a little tired. The problem was though, I knew it was a loaded question. While I waited for a new passport or for the local government to determine what should be done with me, I had to wait here under the watchful eye of Mrs. Tatum. She was a lovely woman, but she was still a Big and given what I had already experienced, I felt that my maturity was already on the line in this house. My training panties were evidence enough of that. So, I quickly shook my head. “No, thank you though. I might rest a bit upstairs or just get a little more reading in.” Mrs. Tatum nodded but one of the other volunteers briefly scoffed. I ignored it and Mrs. Tatum probably just chalked it up to her now having to deal with a dirty diaper. It was just life around here and I quickly retreated to my room upstairs before any further incident could occur. A few hours later, I found out that Mrs. Tatum had to leave for some errands in town. It wasn’t far, and I could even see it sparkling in the sun from my large bedroom window, but I knew her errand fell right in the middle of dinner time. Now, I’m not picky necessarily and spice is pretty alright with me for most dishes, but mealtimes had become a bit of a bane of my existence here. Beyond the food even, Mrs. Tatum allowed me to eat with the adults at a later time, but when she was gone, her persistent and strict volunteer, Kathy, did not. “I don’t care what Mrs. Tatum allows you to do, Emma. I’m in charge when she’s gone. Not you,” she commanded down to me while in the kitchen. “You will eat with the other Littles and those of us who are actually adults.” “It’s Emily…” I reminded her for at least the third time today. “Come on… just let me please show you that I can at least…” “I said no!” Kathy practically spat back at me. “Do I need to remind you of your official place here? Despite what you do at reading time and what Mrs. Tatum lets you get away with, you’re still a Little. And don’t you go off and forget that. I promise you don’t want me to remind you.” Her words were cold and the only feeling I even remotely felt with her was dominance and ego. I knew my added presence here was a rub on her position as she used to read stories to the Littles herself before I came along. Mrs. Tatum couldn’t decide between us unfortunately, so we left it up to the Littles instead. It was a blind vote and only Mrs. Tatum and the Littles knew the exact final tally, but in the end, Kathy was no longer in charge of story time. Sulking a little, I cherished the fact that I at least was allowed to eat in a relatively normal booster seat at the table rather than the highchairs the other Littles had to endure themselves. Still, my demotion under her watch was a blow to my ego that was hard to swallow. Further, that evil wretch also ensured she gave me Big food to eat after I first asked for something more mature than the smiley potatoes or dino nuggets I had first been served here. It wasn’t always a problem, but for whatever reason, I guess most Bigs had a different palate than ours and most of their food was horribly spicy. I had learned how to cool it down or mellow out the flavor, but I’ll just leave it that the first time I experienced the new food, fire had practically erupted in my bathroom later that night. Regardless though, I got through another meal and was only able to get through another chapter before Mrs. Tatum popped her head in my cracked door, one of the rules being that I was never allowed to shut it. “Time for bed, Emily. Start getting ready and I’ll check on you in a bit. No dilly dallying,” I nodded and sighed as I started getting ready for bed as she had noted. I had fought with her at first with my bedtime being so early, but without a nap during the day and the fact that I had to expel twice the energy the Bigs did just to keep up with them, meant that I soon didn’t mind it and was even grateful for the fact that it was later than all the other Littles here. What I did mind though, was all the checking Mrs. Tatum would do before she let me go to bed. I know she was just doing her job, but as I was the only one in the big room up here, I think she lavished more attention on me than some of the other Littles. So, even as I finished everything, she would still come in and start going through her list. “Wash your face? Jammies? Brush your teeth? Go potty?” I would nod in the affirmative to each of her questions, and I knew I wasn’t upsetting her at least, but the routine was starting to get a little tedious, particularly the annoyingly persistent potty question. Once she was satisfied with all my answers though, she wished me a goodnight and began to leave the room, but something had been bugging me though and I quickly spoke up. “Is it always going to be like this?” Mrs. Tatum froze in the doorway before sighing and returning over to me. I could see she wanted to give me hope, but I could also see the hard reality of this world was jutting in as well. “I don’t think so, honey… I wish I really could give you a better answer than that, Emily, but it’s just so hard to say these days. You never know what’s going to happen next with all you Littles.” She sighed again. “I will say this though… if I can, I’ll try to keep you safe as best I can until you leave this place.” It wasn’t much, but it was that tiny sliver of hope I had been searching for to hear from her tonight. Kathy was getting to be a big problem and I worried about her doing something rash with me every day that she volunteered here and was solely in charge. “Thank you,” was about all I could say, and Mrs. Tatum just nodded and left my room before flicking off the lights. The next two days proved very much the same, but come Tuesday, Mrs. Tatum announced that she had to leave up north to new Columbia to visit her sick sister. She promised she would be back by Saturday night at the latest, but unfortunately, her absence only meant one thing to me: Kathy was now in charge. I quickly felt nauseous. At first, I think the two of us just honestly avoided each other as much as possible, but later that night, I could see the power in her head had been building and selected dinnertime to unleash her wrath on me. I didn’t even question my eating with the rest of the toddler level Littles as I had before, and I was expecting my usual meal of spicy Big food. With how I prepared it now, it was almost bordering on pleasant, but Kathy had other ideas. “Alright everyone, dig in!” she cheerfully chimed from the kitchen as she and the other volunteers then walked in and placed our plates of food in front of us. It didn’t take a genius to see what was wrong with my plate tonight. “Wook at that! Miss Em’s eatin’ the same thing we are!” Taylor noted to the rest of the table. I could feel the hot blush envelop my cheeks as I looked down and saw the vegetables, fruit, and of course, dino shaped nuggets. “Uh, what’s this?” “It’s Littles food, silly. You eat it,” Kathy almost seemed to joke. The other volunteers snickered in the corner as they left to finish preparing their own meal for later. I grimaced and looked down at my plate again. Admittedly, the fruit, vegetables, and even the small pond of ketchup-like substance in the corner of the plate were all fine. The nuggets though… having helped in meal prep for the Littles before, I knew the dirty secret that they were actually the cauliflower kind, but I also concernedly knew that they contained a mild laxative and some potent fiber. For unpotty-trained Littles, it just meant they didn’t get backed up. For me though… “Please, Kathy…” “Uh oh,” she mocked in her sing-song voice she mainly used on the other Littles. To them, it was almost playful, but to me, it was just meant as an insult. “Looks like someone doesn’t want to eat their veggies.” Several of the Littles gasped and I knew I had to handle this carefully. I couldn’t just outright say the reason I didn’t want to eat the nuggets but eating them was a whole other problem as well. “Kathy… I…” “Oh no. We have a picky eater. Let’s start the countdown everyone!” Most of the Littles nodded and I could feel my position weaken amongst them. Before, I was their superior, but now, I was being treated just like any other fussy Little. “One!” they began. I tried to utter out an excuse, but everyone followed Kathy’s lead and they jumped to “two!” before I could. “Kathy… please!” I tried begging again. “I can eat the veggies, but…” “Three!” everyone shouted. There were no halves, quarters, or even eights or thirds getting to three. It was just plain old successive ‘three.’ The word resounded in the dining room and every Little immediately looked at me and then up at Kathy. “Tsk, tsk…” Kathy chided as she shook her head in disappointment. “I guess someone needs a little trip over to the timeout stool…” Every Little here knew about the stool and had experienced it for themselves in the living room at one point or another. It was in the front of the house and prominently situated underneath the naughty chart there to show any visitor or the family when watching TV that the Little seated there had messed up. I had sat there only twice by now, both when I first got here, and my negative behavior was marked by the corresponding two stars. Now, I would be getting a third. And so, it went. Kathy marched me over from the table to the stool and made me sit there for thirty minutes to think about my naughty behavior. In retrospect, I suppose the lesson was for me to learn that I was just like any other Little under Big rules, but I only sat there that night and fumed. In the end, as usual, I still had to eat my dinner, and before I went to bed that night, I could already feel the effects when I went potty as part of my still-present night routine. The next day, once again, I just tried to avoid Kathy, but I was just interminably grateful that I was alone and practically had the bathroom on my floor to myself. Some Littles from downstairs would use it if they could, or one of the volunteers would use it if the one made for them up or downstairs was full, but today, I occupied it the most often. I didn’t have any accidents, but my bowels were wrecked from just the six nuggets I had eaten forcibly last night. For her part, Kathy just despicably grinned at me the whole day. Unfortunately, her toying with me didn’t end there. By Thursday though, I think my resignation and focus on only my bowel issues on Wednesday had left her wanting something more from me. So, my day began with my shower, but when I returned, another volunteer was there. “Look,” Tawnya began, her face looking like she wanted to be anywhere else but there right then. “Kathy scares me as well, and so when she asks me to do something, I do it.” Her eyes then darted over to an outfit on my bed. “I’m sorry…” My eyes widened as I more closely examined the outfit she was pointing to. At first, I thought the checkered seafoam green dress was just like any of the others I had worn here. It had a bow and was shorter than most of the others, but it wasn’t too terrible. Then I saw that I was only going to be able to wear the dress… without any tights on underneath it. “I can’t wear that!” Tawnya sighed. “Please, Emily? Please can you just wear it today? I have a job to do, and Kathy selected that outfit for you specifically. Training panties as well…” My eyes raced back over and saw the thick panties colored in a similar seafoam green with a large whale printed across the butt. My heart raced and I felt that I was eternally doomed if Kathy was to stay here and rule over me, but I resolved it within myself that Mrs. Tatum was really the one in charge. I only had a few days to go, so to keep the peace and for the sake of Tawnya, I just nodded my head. She smiled back at me and helped me get dressed in the new outfit, yet another requirement that Kathy had insisted on lately. I would have protested as well, but I just had to put it out of my mind that I was standing in front of this Big in the nude. I wanted to punch Kathy so hard right then, but I knew grumbling wouldn’t do me any good, so I just braced against Tawnya’s shoulder as she ruffled the panties up my legs when I stepped into them. Finally, the process was done, and I subjected myself to another breakfast with the other Littles, which was followed by another trip to the park. The place was wide, free, and Little friendly, so Mrs. Tatum often took us here to expel our energies. I resigned myself to just reading today, trying to keep my dress as low as I could so I wouldn’t accidentally show off my training panties to just any stranger walking by. It didn’t help that there was also a breeze, and once again, I could see Kathy’s wicked grin every once in a while, when I would glance over at her. Still, we all got back to the foster home in one piece and just in time for lunch. My crust was cut off, my plate was in the shape of a rhino, and my utensils were all plastic, but it was still a good meal. Unfortunately, I also felt a need to pee right then. So, without thinking, I just got up from the table, remembering rule three of the guide for Littles I had read before coming here: if you feel the need to go and there is a bathroom nearby, use it immediately. “And where do you think you’re going?” Kathy sternly asked, looking in from the kitchen. I froze and answered back as politely as I could. “Just to the bathroom…” “You have to ask before you can go potty, Emma…” she shot back with a glare right in my direction. I practically had to stick my fingers in my eyes to keep them from rolling over that statement, but I nodded instead and kept calm. “I’m sorry. May I use the restroom?” I asked, making sure I used the proper question. ‘Can I use the restroom’ was almost universally known as the death knell for any Little as it always raised a legitimate concern with Bigs about Littles; could the Little in question actually go potty? The English teach in me would have been mortified if I tripped up on that sort of trap around here. Regardless, though, Kathy smiled. “Of course you can, honey.” I nodded and ran upstairs. Unfortunately, someone had left their toys on the second floor by the younger Littles room. The Littles in there rarely left their room and were attended to by two separate near-constantly watching volunteers. The house only had two Littles that mental age now and both were practically newborns, having been found in some kind of back alley testing facility. Even then though, it just made Bigs seem to desire them more and there was already a couple willing to take both home by next Tuesday. Regardless, the plastic train stubbed my toe, and I willed everything in my being not to curse out loud right then. I was successful though, and I continued up to my floor. Just my luck though, I had caused a commotion, and it didn’t take long for Kathy to quickly follow behind me up the stairs. “Everything okay?” I nodded and just hoped she would go away. She didn’t. “You have to be more careful on the stairs, Emma. Maybe you just need a little extra help today. Let me go with you.” Before I had a chance to respond, Kathy took my hand and led me up the stairs, her grip near vice-like. Panicking, as we rounded the corner, I took the opportunity of our weaker connection, and I wrenched my arms from hers. “Get off me! I don’t need your help!” Kathy frowned immediately. “Don’t you take that tone with me, missy!” I just walked away, trying to avoid conflict, and still having to pee. I had miscalculated though, and it had the opposite effect. “And where do you think you’re going?” Kathy asked, her hands now situated on both hips and her breathing turning almost into a snarl of sorts. “You apologize to me right now!” At the single moment, I realized I had two options. First, I could apologize, humiliate myself and possibly even show Kathy that I needed her help… at least in her mind. Second, though, I could refuse, and she could get angry and likely punish me further. Seeing as she was already angry though, and the first could just lead to more problems in my future, I shook my head. “No!” As if the hallways had suddenly turned into an echo chamber, my voice seemingly bounced off the walls and appeared to almost shake Kathy right where she stood. For a moment, I thought she might even back down, but sticking to character, she didn’t. “No? What do you mean ‘no?’” Her tone quickly became darker, and her hulking presence inched closer to me as she looked down on me in fury. “You don’t say no to me! You got that? I am a Big here and you are a Little! I don’t care who you used to be or that you’re trying to go back home. You’re in our world now and you’re nothing but a Little. You’re either going to learn your place or you’ll be sorry.” With that finally spat, she yanked my hand and dragged me up the final leg of stairs to my floor. I quickly wondered if I had made the right call in defying her, but something was telling me that I hadn’t. Kathy then quickly stopped in front of the bathroom and my heart dropped. “Decision time. Either be the Little you are or face the consequences. There is no third option.” I looked in the bathroom and saw there was now a child’s potty sitting on the ground next to the smaller toilet, horrifyingly now locked with a heavy-duty mechanism arcing over the top. Even if I said no, I would still need help to get it off or instead just use the little purple potty now in there. At that moment though, I also realized that Kathy was insisting she go in with me while I did my business. Since I was given the training panties on day one here, it was a thought that had utterly terrified me of being watched like a little kid fresh off potty training. It seemed according to Kathy, today was going to be the day that I would cross that line in my potty habits, and I wasn’t sure if it was a line that could ever be recrossed or undone. Now, admittedly, I know a lot of people probably would have just given in, just like I knew before as well that they wouldn’t have turned right at the statue down the alleyway. I know those things and that I’m not perfect either. I was a fully independent and successful teacher back on Earth… no executive I will admit, but one just doesn’t turn off being an adult in these types of situations. I challenge anyone else not to put up a little fight or struggle to maintain their independence at least a little bit in situations like these. So, despite hating myself as soon as I did it, I shook my head. Sadly, it turned out it was the last straw for Kathy. Anger flashed across her face. Her movements were swift and deliberate as she grabbed my wrist once more and dragged me into my room. The basic décor stood in stark contrast to the other more fun and cutesy rooms of the house, but I had always appreciated that. Now, the starkness just gave me less to focus on as Kathy glared down at me. “Don’t you move one muscle.” Her voice was calculating, and I could almost feel myself wince as she then left and went over to a door on one end of the room. It had been locked the whole time I had been there and had just assumed it was another closet in here next to mine. It wasn’t. “Hmmm…” Kathy mused as the door finally opened, “which one today?” I tried to get a better look, but her large Big-sized body just blocked nearly every inch of the narrow opening. “Aha! Perfect!” She retrieved something and quickly closed the door back up before walking back over to me. I tried to make out what was now in her hand, but when I did, I wished I hadn’t. There, all bright red and shiny even, was a long spanking paddle. Holes filled the end that was a little over the length of her hand, making the whole thing just a shade under three feet in total. I gulped as she strutted back over to me with it swaying ominously from her hand. She sat down, smiled sadistically at me, and then patted her lap. “Come, Emily. It’s time you get acquainted with another punishment that most Littles experience at least once. Something’s telling me you’ll be fast friends with it quite soon though.” I eyed the spanking implement balanced gracefully in her hand and my knees seemed to turn into jelly. I wanted to move, but I was finding it hard to take a step further. “I meant now! Don’t make me come over there!” she thundered at my slow movements. Despite nearly collapsing at each step, my fear of her only making things worse for me was a powerful motivating factor. “Turn around,” she then commanded me. I nodded and turned, and to my horror, I could feel her giant hand snatch the back of my training panties and drop them to my ankles. My face flushed with embarrassment, but I didn’t have long to feel it. “Over my lap… now!” I hopped right to it and eased myself over her lap. Her things provided ample room for me to lay down on, but I could still feel the heat rise in my cheeks and my whole body become very uncomfortable as she lifted my short skirt up towards my back. I couldn’t see it, but I knew she now had a perfect target across my vulnerable behind in order for her to ‘teach me a lesson.’ “It didn’t need to be this way, Emma…” Kathy started, almost seeming disappointed in me. “Now, as this is your first spanking here, I will go easy on you. I think just 15 smacks in a row should do.” I could almost feel myself shaking in fear as she began to rub my butt all around. I think it was to prepare my skin or something like that, but it just gave me more time to contemplate my ultimate doom. Under this roof, I felt I was already losing so much of who I was. I had only been here now for a little over two weeks, and there were some rumors that a new passport lately could take three months to be renewed. It didn’t bode well for me at all. “Okay, ready?” she asked in a surprisingly mellow voice. I wasn’t sure why the change was present, but my best guess was that now was business more than her pleasure. Before, intimidation was critical, but now, a lesson being learned seemed more important to her. Regardless, I just nodded my head and braced for impact. “One!” she called out. The first spank hit me like a linebacker and sounded like a thunderclap. I bit my lips to keep from yelling out, but by the sixth, I just couldn’t help it anymore. Fire began to scorch every inch of my posterior and I tried to keep my squirming down, but after each of the thousands of needle-like blows hit me, my who body would go rigid, and I would involuntarily struggle to be free. Still, Kathy was relentless in her punishment of me. AS if she was painting a canvas, soon, there was not a single spot that didn’t ache or scream in pain. I was quickly reduced to a puddle of tears, and my only relief came when Kathy finally reached the magic number, 15. She rubbed my butt for a little longer and even applied some lotion to it. It stung something awful at first, but after a few moments, I felt eh sweet relief of pain, even if it was just for a single moment. Seeming satisfied now, she then carefully helped me stand up again. “Now, are you going to be a good girl for me and listen?” I wanted so badly to tell her no or to screw herself, but my butt just throbbed and ached for me to say otherwise. Not being able to form the words though, I just nodded. It seemed like it was enough and Kathy just smiled and led me to the bathroom, where, under her supervision, I finally relieved myself. “Good girl!” she praised. My cheeks flushed again, but once more, my butt just screamed out to me more than anything else. Still, Kathy seemed happy for once and led me back to my room and turned out the lights so I could have ‘a little alone time.’ I cried myself to sleep and just hoped something would change. Nothing did, but I was about the most compliant Little ever, so even into Friday, all seemed okay between Kathy and I now. By the end of the day though, I could tell she was itching to reassert her authority over me, whether I warranted it or not. So, after dinner, I retreated upstairs with the other Littles. “Oh, Emma?” I turned around and faced my tormentor and many of the other Littles did as well. “I think you’ve had a long week and with tomorrow being Saturday and all, I think you should have an earlier bedtime tonight. How about you have the same as the rest of the toddler Littles, huh?” Despite my bruised posterior, I could feel the anger swelling up inside of me. I wanted to be compliant to at least avoid being punished, but this time, I hadn’t done anything wrong and yet I was still being degraded like all the others. It was too much right in that moment, and I stepped forward… but I felt a hand quickly stop me going further from behind me. I looked back and another Little, Lilly, gravely shook her head. I could tell she was scared for me right away and not wanting to upset her while also seeing the wisdom of her restraint, I nodded. So, I then looked back up at Kathy and summoned just about all the will I could muster to smile politely back at her. “That sounds like a… good idea. Best to be awake tomorrow…” Kathy sickeningly smiled back at me, and I just took it in and retreated back upstairs with the rest of my kind. Lilly soon confronted me as we ascended the stairs. “You getting’ in trouble is jus’ bad, Miss Em.” I nodded in resignation. “I know Lilly. I just… it’s hard, you know?” I could tell she wasn’t completely sure if she did know, but from what I had gathered since, everyone knew about my punishment yesterday and everyone here had received it at one point in their stay here. Despite my lack of information, I knew that if nothing else, though, she was trying to help me out and prevent what had already happened to me from getting worse. “Yeah,” she said a little hesitant. “Just be careful. Dis area’s dangerous for dose who don’ follow da rules, in here or out dere…” I acknowledged what she told me, but it was just a concept that didn’t seem to want to stick in my head. I of course would try and avoid being punished, but there was just a sense of being an adult that I couldn’t shake. Regardless though, I just settled down for the night an hour early and hoped that tomorrow would bring me just that. Now, Saturday is family day around here. Of course, we Littles don’t have family here in this dimension most likely, but it was a day set aside during the week that we all looked forward to for one reason or another. See, it was where prospective caregivers would come and meet with, or even rent out, one of us for the day. The hope was to build a bond between us and them that could ensure a proper fit and later smooth transition if they decided to begin the adoption process. Unfortunately, being the mental age I was, my prospects were usually fairly slim, so my potential escape plan from Kathy later would always come up short. Further, once any Big beyond that hurdle found out I was applying for another passport as well, Mrs. Tatum had informed me that it was practically the final nail in my coffin against me for most. So, as a result, I had spent the past two Saturdays with Nancy, and I didn’t mind one bit. Of course, Nancy would still come around during the week when she could, but her job as a high-level executive at one of the local bigwig companies this week meant that today was the first time I had seen her in a week. From the other times she had come here, she knew about my various struggles, but after this last week with Kathy, I now had a whole new set of problems. “So, she even spanked me on Thursday and sent me to bed early yesterday,” I explained to Nancy once we exchanged our usual pleasantries and she apologized for not making it here sooner. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Emily,” she said was a sad face. Her eyes then scanned over me and I could see her eyebrows raise just a bit. “I see she’s also selecting some… different outfits for you lately?” I looked own at my outfit, this one only composed of tight dark pants and a shirt that spouted the phrase, ‘#1 Princess.’ It was a bit mortifying, especially considering my training panties puffed out against the dark fabric. “You could say that…” We talked for a little while longer, even going so far as to walk around outside as we did so. Kathy almost denied us leaving the foster home, but Nancy got her way in the end after some selective and strong words. Oddly, that type of force against my latest foe had made me see her differently after that. Nancy was a Big, so I wasn’t naive and a little nervous about that, but I would have been blind to say that she wasn’t at least a bit protective of me. It wasn’t much, but at the same time, something was telling me that this week with Kathy, now that it had happened, wouldn’t be the last. If I stayed here, I wasn’t confident that I would be making it back home as the same woman I had left Earth as. So, a new thought popped into my head. It was so simple, and a huge risk on my part, but faced with my current options, it at least seemed the safest path away from Kathy. Mulling it over a bit more, once we passed the swing set that I had come to know so well over the past weeks, I told Nancy my proposal. For her part, Nancy just listened and to my relief, actually seemed to give it some legitimate thought. Still, I could see her hesitancy as well. “I don’t know, Emily… me taking you in from this place? It’s a lot to ask…” I nodded my head. “I know Nancy, but I don’t think I’m going to make it here. Mrs. Tatum and the other Littles are great, but Kathy… I’m just not sure how long I can stay as who I am if she’s treating me like the helpless Little I think she wants me to be. I just feel that something is going to happen and it’s going to cause me a lot of issues down the road. Does that make sense?” Nancy nodded and we then walked another block as our conversation switched around a little. Finally, as we came to a large tree just off the path, she looked back at me. “Okay… I’ll do it, but you need to know, because of your situation and all and my job… there’s going to be some stipulations…” My mind raced with the possibilities, but at least she had said yes. I was so desperate to get away from Kathy and her schemes, that if Nancy asked me to do her laundry every day as that stipulation, I think I would have agreed to it in a heartbeat without much thought. Still, a little voice in the back of my head wanted to know more. “What sort of stipulations exactly?” Nancy smiled. “Nothing hugely impactful, but because of LPS and all, we need to keep up a front for them. At home, you could be free and go to bed at midnight for all I care, but if they ever came over, I would need you to act like the best Little in the world. The slightest hesitation or bad behavior, in their minds at least, and the jig would be up.” She paused for a moment and scratched the back of her head. I braced for what was coming next. “Also… I have a job and I can’t leave you at home by yourself… that would only lead to many things only being worse… for both of us actually.” I didn’t like where this was headed, but I was weighing any options she told to me against what Kathy wanted now and likely in the future. As long as it wasn’t diapers, I felt confident that I would say yes to almost anything. “Go on…” Nancy sighed. “Well, for Littles, there aren’t too many options for during the day, but I think I saw an ad the other day for… to be honest, a daycare.” I think she was waiting for me to bolt, but I just stood my ground. “Yeah… I know it’s probably not ideal, but this place specializes in curated times to occupy your day based on your mentality. It’s got multiple levels for dealing with Littles and is some of the most top tier care in the city. We can always find something else, but what do you think?” Her stipulations weren’t diapers and before, I knew that was about my only caveat in whatever they turned out to be. I had so many other questions, but for now, on the surface level at least, Nancy had presented a way forward to me that just might work. Daycare admittedly, but it was something that seemed better than what fate awaited me with Kathy if I stayed in Mrs. Tatum’s foster home. So, with a sigh, I nodded. “I’m in.” Nancy smiled and we both began walking back to the house to start filling out the paperwork. I would still have another few days at the bare minimum for the paperwork to go through and for Nancy’s house to be inspected by LPS first, but I knew I was taking a big leap into my future. Nancy seemed much better than Kathy though, so I just crossed my fingers and hoped everything would be fine for a few months until I could get my passport back.

Chapter 5 Looking at my parents, I said, “Yes, it’s me.” Pausing momentarily, my mom said, “What happened to your beard? And why do you look like you are back in high school again?” “I’m not sure, after taking a shower this morning, I noticed that my beard was thin and patchy, so I shaved the rest of it off,” I said. My dad then spoke up, “What did the doctor say today, are they doing anything to help you?” I said, “Well, he thinks maybe it's an autoimmune disease. He took a bunch of blood samples to run tests on, and also a urine and stool sample. I also had a bunch of CT scans and X-rays taken today. He is also double-checking for infection but thinks that it is unlikely. As of right now, they have just been giving me fluids and pain meds.” After taking in all of the information, my mom said, “When will the results be back and when will the doctor see you again?” “He said most of the results will be back by tomorrow and he plans on seeing me tomorrow to go over the results. The rest of the results should be back on Sunday.” I said. Before my parents could grill me more, Rachael walked in carrying a large clear I.V. bag with two different compartments. Looking at my parents, she said, “You must be Will’s parents.” With my mom having the same hazel eyes and facial features as me but with lighter brown hair and my dad having the same hair color and before today beard, but turning gray due to middle age and blue eyes, it is easy to tell that I am a product of the two. Without missing a beat, my mom said, “Yes, I am Will’s mother Elaina, and this is Will’s father George.” “It’s nice to you all,” she said. My dad then said, “Hopefully, my son has not been causing any trouble.” I glare at my dad, knowing what he is trying to do. Rachael said, “Not at all.” Looking at me she then said, “OK Will, with you having issues again today with eating, the doctor ordered to give you what is called a TPN. You can think of it like I.V. fluids but with more nutrition in it.” She then burst open the two compartments within the bag and shook it up. Placing it on the I.V. pole, she disconnected me from the regular fluids and then connected the new bag of fluids to my I.V. port. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Will?” Rachael said. I said, “I’m good for right now, thanks.” Chiming in, my mom said, “Thank you, Rachael.” With a smile, Rachael said, “Certainly, press the call button if you need me later on.” Rachael then walked out of the room. I looked at my dad and said, “DAD, not the time!” With a smile, he said, “What, she is very pretty and looks to be about your age, and I didn’t see a ring on her finger.” With a groan, I said, “Right now I don’t even look my age.” With some concern returning to his face, he said, “Alright son, I won’t try setting you up with the nurses … for now.” My mom then said, “I’m with Will on this, I don’t think dating should be on the agenda right now.” My mom took my backpack and set it down on the floor, then took a seat in the chair next to the bed and my dad took the chair from the other corner and moved it beside my mom and took a seat. I grabbed the remote and handed it to my mom and and said, “Here, you or Dad can pick something to watch, I’ll probably just fall asleep.” She said, “OK,” then flipped through some channels and she settled on a network news channel. As I was watching the talking heads drone on about news stories that affect no one, but somehow get people outraged, I fell asleep. I wake up to the need to poop again, I throw the covers off and get out of bed. Before I can get the I.V. pump unplugged, my dad is beside me helping me. Standing up beside him, the new height difference is now apparent. With my dad being 6 foot 1 inches, there was not a big difference between the two of us before; but now it looks like I am closer to my mom’s height of 5 foot 6 inches. With no time to dwell on that thought, I make it to the bathroom with little time to spare. After emptying my bowels and washing my hands, I open the door to the bathroom to see both my parents standing outside the door. Looking at my parents, I can see that they are a little shocked by my height loss and this is the first time that they saw me standing. I can now tell that I am probably only a couple of inches, at most, taller than my mom right now. My mom said, “Will, how tall are you now?” “5 foot 8 and ½ inches was how tall I was this morning,” I said. My mom, not knowing how to respond, said, “Oh, we should probably get you back in bed.” After getting back in bed and my dad plugging back in the I.V. pump, I asked, “Where are y’all staying tonight?” My dad said, “We booked a hotel room not far from here for the night, we dropped off our bags there before coming here.” Grabbing my keys off the table beside my bed, I said, “Y’all can use my car while I’m in the hospital, there is no point in getting charged for parking for the whole weekend and y’all paying for Ubers.” My dad nodded and as I was handing him the keys I said, “The parking stub is in the front pocket of my backpack and I parked on the second floor of the parking garage that is next to the ER. If you want to, y’all can stay at my apartment until I get out of the hospital.” My dad said, “We will keep that in mind, but don’t worry about us, just focus on getting better.” “I will try,” I said. “With traveling today and the time change, we are going to head to the hotel to get some sleep, but we will be back here first thing in the morning.” my mom said. I said, “OK.” My mom, leaning down to hug me said, “Get some rest, I love you and will see you first thing in the morning.” With a quick kiss on my cheek, she stood back up then my dad leaned down and said, “I love you, son.” As he was hugging me. “I love y’all too,” I said. They then walked out of the room leaving me to fall back asleep again. I woke to the feeling of all my joints throbbing in pain. Reaching over to the table, I grab the remote and hit the call button. A few minutes later, Isoline walks in and asks, “Hey Will, what can I do for you?” “Can I get some more pain medicine, I’m in a lot of pain right now,” I said. She said, “Certainly, I will be right back.” She walked out of the room to get the morphine and was back within a minute. With the syringe in hand, she quickly pushed the morphine into my I.V. line. With a sigh of relief, I said, “Thank you.” “No problem, is there anything else I can do for you?” She said. “No, I think I am going to go back to sleep,” I said. She said, “OK, get some rest.” Then walked back out of the room. A few minutes later, I succumbed to sleep. I awoke the next morning thinking about the close call last night with the bathroom. With no time to ponder my midnight bathroom escapades, I’m hit with the immediate throbbing pain in all my joints. I immediately hit the call button. I look to my right and see that my parents are already here sitting beside me. With a worried face, my mom asked, “Is there something wrong?” Gritting my teeth, I said, “I need pain medicine.” “OK, if a nurse isn’t here soon, I will go find one.” She said. Luckily, a couple of minutes later, Rachael walks in. Guessing that she knew what I would be asking for, she already had a syringe in hand. She asked, “Do you need morphine?” I nodded and she quickly pushed the medicine into my I.V. Looking at me, she said, “I figured that you would be asking for pain medicine since you have not had any since late last night.” Taking in a deep breath, I said, “Thanks.” She then said, “Alright, with that out of the way, let’s go and get you weighed and measured.” With relieved joints, I slowly get out of bed. With my parents standing on either side of me, I can tell I am definitely closer to my mom’s height. Pushing my I.V. poll, all four of us make it down to the nurse’s station. Rachael weighs and measures me and before I could even ask, my dad said, “How much does he weigh and how tall is he?” “He weighs a 123 pounds and is 5 foot 7 inches tall,” Rachael said. With frustration in my dad’s voice, he said, “When will the doctor see him today?” With a slight nervousness in her voice, probably not wanting to deal with an angry, protective parent, she said, “The doctor should see him in about an hour.” Walking back to my room in silence, I could feel the tension on either side of me. But either being lucky or unlucky depending on how you look at it, as soon as I passed the threshold of my room, I was hit with the need to poop. With a quick, “I’m going to the bathroom.” to my parents, I detoured into the bathroom. After another ungodly bowel movement with some pee, I wash my hands, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. Exiting the bathroom, I see that my parents are in their ‘assigned’ seating, with my dad watching Sports Center on TV. Settling back in bed, we wait in nervous silence for the doctor. Nodding in and out of sleep, I open my eyes to my mom gently shaking my shoulder. “The doctor is here to see you, Will.” My mom said. Sure enough, at the foot of my bed is Dr. Wilson. “Good morning Will, how do you feel this morning?” Dr. Wilson said. I said, “I’m just tired right now.” Dr. Wilson responded, “I'm sorry to hear that, have you been having any new or worse symptoms?” “No new symptoms, I just have been having worse joint pain and needing more pain medicine,” I said. “We will keep giving you morphine as needed to keep you comfortable. I do have the majority of your test results back. Starting first with your urine and stool sample results show high levels of calcium. Looking at your blood panel results, it is the same as before with high levels of calcium and creatine kinase. We did get the results back from testing for the most common autoimmune diseases and your results were negative for Addison disease, Celiac, Dermatomyositis, Graves, Hashimoto thyroiditis, Crohn, MS, Myasthenia gravis, Pernicious, Sjogren syndrome, Lupus and both Reactive and Rheumatoid arthritis.” He said. Before I could even respond, my mom asked, “What did his CT and X-ray show?” He said, “The X-ray didn’t show anything abnormal and the CT scan did not reveal anything new to us. It is still showing that all of his joints are inflamed, but since we ruled out arthritis, we know it is not that.” My dad asked, “What else could it be?” “Well, I am still waiting on the test results to come back for the more uncommon types of autoimmune diseases, I should have them by tomorrow. Also, the blood culture results should be back by tomorrow, but since he is not running a fever and I am not seeing any other signs of an infection, I expect it to be negative,” Dr. Wilson said. My dad said, “What are you going to do for him in the meantime? He lost 5 inches in height and a little over 30 lbs this week. I’m literally looking at the teenage version of my 27-year-old son.” “I was hoping it would not come to this, but with his extreme weight loss, I will be giving him a nasogastric tube or feeding tube soon. It will bypass his stomach and give him nutrition at his duodenum or the lower stomach that connects to his small intestines. This should allow him to get nutrition without vomiting. I will set him on a feeding schedule of three times a day and will switch him back to regular fluids in his I.V.” He said. My mom said, “How is he losing weight and shrinking?” Dr. Wilson said, “To be honest, with how his symptoms are presenting, I have never seen something like this. It seems that his body is using itself to sustain itself. But instead of getting emaciated, his skeletal system is shrinking to compensate. That is why there is a high level of both creatine kinase and calcium in his blood, but only high levels of calcium in his urine and stool. The body only needs so much calcium to sustain itself and expels the rest.” Before my parents could interject, I asked, “When will you be putting in the feeding tube?” “I will be going to get the necessary supplies and a nurse to help now. I should be back soon.” He said. Before he could get bombarded with more questions from my parents, he walked out of the room. With a concerned look, my mom said, “I think we should get you into a better hospital.” “I think we should at least wait to see what the results are tomorrow. With it being the weekend, I doubt that another hospital will do much for me until Monday.” I said. My mom said, “That is probably true, but as soon as the doctor tells us the results tomorrow, I would like to get you transferred to the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.” A few minutes later, Dr. Wilson and Rachael walked in carrying some supplies on a tray. After setting the tray tray down on the table beside me, Dr. Wilson said, “Alright Will, with your I.V. in your left arm, I am going to insert the tube in your left nostril. It is probably going to be a little uncomfortable when I insert it and will probably feel a little strange having it in afterward, but it shouldn’t bother you too much.” I said, “OK.” After both he and Rachael put on some gloves, he grabbed one end of the feeding tube while Rachael held the rest, which included some ports. Dr. Wilson said, “I am going to start putting the tube up your nose and when I tell you to swallow, swallow so that we make sure that it goes down your esophagus.” I nodded, then Dr. Wilson started pushing the tube up my nose and when I felt it in the back of my throat, I heard Dr. Wilson say, “Swallow Will.” I swallowed and Dr. Wilson pushed more and more of the tube up my nose as Rachael fed it to him. All the while, I did my best not to gag as it ran down my throat. When he was done, he taped it to my cheek and put the loose end with the port behind my ear. As soon as I was over trying not to gag, I was hit with the sensation of having a weird continuous sinus drain. It wasn’t a bad feeling, but it was a strange feeling to have constantly. Dr. Wilson then asked, “How does it feel?” “It feels strange but not bad,” I said. “Good, with it already close to lunchtime, I am going to get Rachael to start you on your first feeding. It will basically be the adult version of formula. And to avoid any complication with the feeding tube, always keep your bed at least slightly elevated, never lay down completely flat.” He said. I said, “OK, that shouldn’t be a problem.” “I will see you tomorrow morning to go over the rest of the results, please let someone know if you have any issue with your feeding tube.” I said, ”OK.” then both Dr. Wilson and Rachael with the tray walked out of the room. A moment later Rachael walked back in with a new bag of regular fluids and another smaller bag full of an off-white milky liquid. “I'm going to get you started on your feeding and switch you to regular fluids,” She said. I nodded, and then she hung both bags from my I.V. poll, disconnected the TPN bag, then threw both the old, almost empty, bag of fluids and the TPN bag away. She then connected the new bag of fluids to my I.V. and then connected the other bag for feeding to one of the ports on the end of my feeding tube. “Alright, you are all set, let me know if you need anything else or if you are having any trouble with the feeding tube,” Rachael said. I said, “Thanks, I will.” As Rachael was walking out of my room, I turned to my parents and said, “I’m pretty tired, I think I am going to go back to sleep.” My mom said, “That is OK, get some rest, we will be here when you wake up.” On that note, I shut my eyes and fell asleep. I woke to both the throbbing pain in my joints and the need to poop. I turned to my mom and dad, and said, “I need pain meds and I also have to go to the bathroom.” I got out of bed as my dad was getting up to help me with unplugging the I.V. I made my way into the bathroom with my dad behind me and him shutting the door for me. As I am emptying my bowels on the toilet, my joints start to really cry out in pain. By the time I finished wiping and flushed the toilet, I was in too much pain to get off the toilet. I then hear a knock on the door. “Will, is everything alright in there?” I hear my dad’s voice from the other side of the door. I said, “I need pain medicine, but my joints hurt too bad to get off the toilet.” With a short pause, I hear my dad say, “OK, Rachael and I are coming in.” The door opens and in walks, my dad with a concerned face, followed by Rachael. I can tell, they are trying their best not to react to the smell that I just created in the bathroom. Rachael immediately pushed a syringe of morphine into my I.V. line as my dad stood on the other side of me to help me get up. After a few moments, my dad asked, “Are you OK enough for me to help you get up?” After taking a deep breath, I said, “Yes.” My dad then put a hand under each of my armpits and as he was helping me up, with very little effort on my part, I pulled up my sweatpants and underwear. Rachael said, “While your dad helps you back in bed, I am going to go get some saline to flush out your feed tube.” Rachael walks out as my dad hovers behind me as I wash my hands and make my way back into bed. As soon as I am back under the covers, Rachael walks in with another syringe. She walks up to my I.V. pole and disconnects the feeding bag from my feeding tube, then connects the syringe and slowly pushes the saline into my feeding tube, forcing the rest of the milky white liquid to go down the tube. After throwing the empty feeding bag and syringe away, she turned to me and said, “Will, I am going to start checking on you when you are scheduled to be able to have another dose of morphine so that you don’t end up in that situation again. I will also make a note in your chart so other nurses will know too.” I said, “Thanks, that wasn’t fun.” “I bet not, you're scheduled to be able to have another dose around the same time as your last feeding of the day, so I will double check with you then and if you need anything else, let me know,” she said. I said, “OK.” As Rachael was walking out of the room, my mom turned to me and said, “I talked to your brother earlier and he wanted to Facetime you if you were up to it.” “Sure, I feel better now with the pain meds kicking in,” I said. A second later, my mom was handing me her phone while it was calling my brother on Facetime. 10 seconds later, I see both my brother and sister-in-law on the screen. While my brother has the same eyes and hair color as our mom, he has the same facial features as our dad and surprisingly, has a more stockier frame than both of us. Sitting beside him is his wife, with blue eyes, wavy blonde hair that hangs a few inches past her shoulders, and a button nose. I said, “Hi Stanley, Hi Katie.” They seemed shocked, but not too shocked. I guess my mom prepared them and probably sent them a picture of me when I wasn’t looking or sleeping. “Hey Will, Mom told me what was going on. How are you feeling?” He said. “I’m feeling OK right now, but that is probably because I was just given morphine a few minutes ago,” I said. “Ah, the good stuff, I imagine you would be feeling pretty good right now,” he said with a chuckle. Katie, speaking up, said, “We just wanted to check in and see how you were doing and if there was anything we could do for you.” I said, “Not much you can do for me right now, I’m just waiting to see what the doctor will say tomorrow morning.” Before either of them could respond and as if waiting on her cue, I heard a small voice off-screen say, “Uncle Will, Uncle Will!” A second later I see a 2-year-old miniature version of her mom with short curly hair climb into my brother’s lap to look at who is on the screen. “Hey Ellie, what have you been up to?” I said. She looked at me and said, “Uncle Will, play?” Before I could respond, Katie said, “Uncle Will is not feeling good, he can’t right now.” I smiled to myself, thinking that I am probably the only person in the world that has played with a toddler multiple times through Facetime in her play kitchen. The only drawback is that she will forget we are on Facetime and set the phone down and run off to play with other things. And with all the social graces and attention span of a toddler, Ellie slides out of my brother's lap to most likely scatter more toys throughout the house. “Thanks, Katie, As entertaining as our little Facetime play dates are, I will probably just fall asleep on her,” thinking for a moment, I ask, “Where is little Charlie?” Katie said, “He is sleeping in his crib right now, but hopefully, he will be awake the next time we Facetime you.” “OK, well speaking of sleeping the pain meds are kicking in pretty good, so I think I am going to go back to sleep,” I said. Stanley said, “Alright get some rest, we love you and will talk to you later.” “Love y’all too,” I said. I then handed the phone to my mom and as I was falling asleep, I could overhear my mom and dad talking to Stanley and Katie.

I still can't tie laces so most of my footwear has velcro fasteners.

Here is another long chapter, it is still a slow build, but as Will gets sicker, the pace of the story timeline will speed up since this is from his perspective. I will have some time jumps later on in the story since this story takes place over the course of around 9 months and the epilogue takes place around 18 months from the start of the story. As much as a War and Peace length ABDL novel would be fun to read, I do not have the patience or creative skills to attempt to write one. Chapter 4 ‘Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT!’ I thought to myself as I was listening to Dr. Richerson. What is going to happen to me? Am I going to be able to go back to school soon? If I get too far behind, will I have to withdraw for the semester? What’s going to happen to my assistantship? Before I could cause myself to start having a panic attack, I heard Dr. Richerson’s voice. “Will, I know this is a lot to take in, but you will be in good hands. I am going to get the nurse to get you ready to be moved up to a room. There will be a specialist that will see you tomorrow and we plan on running more tests to get an exact cause.” In a quiet voice, as I was staring at my lap, I said, “OK, … thanks.” Dr. Richerson gently placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “It will be alright, we are going to give you plenty of fluids and pain medicine as needed to keep you comfortable. Once you are settled in your new room, get some rest tonight and we will figure this out tomorrow.” With a small smile, I looked up at Dr. Richerson, and said, “Thank you, doctor.” With a little squeeze of my shoulder, she then walked out of my room. A few minutes later, Cathy walked in and said, “It looks like you are going to stay with us a little longer. I am going to disconnect your I.V. and your nurse upstairs will connect you to a new I.V. when you get moved to your new room.” I nod and she quickly disconnects the I.V. line and turns off the pump. She then asked, “Are those all your personal belongings?” I said, “Yes,” as I sat up and swung my legs over to hang off the side of the bed. She then walks over and gets my backpack off of the chair and hands it to me. She then grabs all my belongings off of the table and sets them on the bed beside me. She then said, “Someone will be here soon to take you up to your room. I hope you get better soon.” With her departing words, she walks back out of the room. I then stuff all of my clothes and shoes into my backpack. A few minutes later, the same orderly from earlier walks with a wheelchair. He said, “I’m here to take you upstairs to your room.” I nod and stand up with my backpack in hand, and sit in the wheelchair while placing my backpack on my lap. Pushing me out of the room, we make our way down a few corridors and then to an elevator. He hits the call button, and then a moment later the door slides open. Pushing me into the elevator, he hits the button for the 3rd floor. A minute later the door slides back open and I am being pushed down another hallway. We passed by a nurse’s station and then arrived at an open door with the room number 325 on the signage beside it. Pushing me into the room, I see that it is a typical hospital room with a bed in the center, a table with wheels, a chair that can recline in one corner, another straight-back chair in the other, a TV mounted on the wall opposite of the bed and a whiteboard mounted below that is marked with the date, the doctor, the nurse, medication and diet. The orderly stops the wheelchair beside the bed and helps me get up and sit back down on the bed with my backpack sitting beside me. He then leaves with the wheelchair. Looking around the room again, I notice a bathroom off to the side near the room door. From my vantage point, with the door open, I see that there is a counter with a sink, a toilet, and a shower with a tub. Looking back to the other side of the room, there is a large floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city of Tempe. After sitting for about 15 minutes, I hear a knock at the door. Turning to look who it is, I see a tall, slim woman wearing light pink scrubs who looks to be about my age. She has long blonde hair, tied up in a high ponytail and blue eyes. In one of her hands, she is holding a bag of fluids. She said, “Hi, my name is Rachael and I will be your nurse; you must be William.” I said, “Yes, but you can call me Will.” With a smile, “I'm going to get you started on fluids.” Within a minute, she had me hooked back up to a bag of fluids. She then said, “You are going to be staying with us for the night, so you might as well get comfortable. Can I set your bag on the chair, so that you can lay down?” I nod and she takes my bag and sets it down for me. I swing my legs into bed and lay back. She then said, “I saw in your chart that you are to be given pain meds as needed. Do you need any now?” I said, “I am fine for right now.” She then responds, “Well, if you need any later, you can press the call button on the remote. The remote also controls the bed and TV as well. I will be here until 7 tonight, then there will be a nurse taking over for the night, but I will be back at 7 in the morning.” I thanked her and then she walked back out of my room. Deciding to take her advice, I empty my pockets of my keys, wallet, and phone. I set my keys and wallet on the table beside the bed and unlocked my phone. Looking at the screen, I see that it is 5:46 pm and think where has this day gone? My next thought is that I am going to have to call my parents. Thinking, ‘Well let’s get this phone call out the way.’ I hit the screen to call her and waited for her to answer as it was ringing. I hear my mom answer and say, “Hey Will, what did the doctors say?’ I said, “Well, they are not exactly sure what is going on. They think it is some sort of autoimmune thing. They admitted me into the hospital and I am supposed to see a specialist tomorrow.” My mom then said, “Did they give you any more information? Do they know why you are throwing up?” I responded, “They said that the CT scan showed that all my joints were inflamed, but my abdomen looked fine. With the bloodwork results, it looks like my body is attacking my bones and muscles. The weirdest thing was that somehow I am now a 135 pounds and 5 foot 10 inches.” I hear a pause on the line, then in the background, I hear my dad say, “WHAT? You lost 2 inches and lost 20 pounds.” At that exact moment, my stomach started turning and I got the need to poop again. Without wasting any time, I almost shouted into the phone, “Mom, Dad, I have to go to the bathroom now, I will call you back.” I tossed my phone on the bed beside me and rolled out of bed. Unplugging the I.V. pump, I grabbed the I.V. pole and pushed it into the bathroom with me. Closing the door behind me, I sit on the toilet and again poop an almost ungodly amount. After wiping, flushing, and washing my hands; I push the door open and slowly make my way back to bed. Plugging back in the I.V. pump, I lay back in bed and grab my phone. Looking at my phone, I see that I am still on the line with my parents. I said, “Hello, are y’all still there?” I hear my mom say, “Yes, what happened, are you alright?’ I said, “Yeah, it’s just anytime I have to go to the bathroom, I need to go almost immediately.” My mom said, “Well have they done anything to help with your symptoms?” I said, “Yes, the fluids have helped with my headache; they think that I was just dehydrated. They have given me pain meds for my joint aches. They tried letting me drink some chicken broth today, but I just threw it back up.” My mom said, “Well, me and your father plan on being on the next flight out there tomorrow.” I quickly replied, “Y’all don’t need to fly all the way out here, I should hopefully get some answers tomorrow.” In a stern voice, my dad said, “Son, you lost 20 pounds and 2 inches in height, you have not been able to eat or drink in two days, and you don’t have any other family members within a thousand miles of you. We will be there tomorrow. I don’t want to hear any ifs, ands, or buts.” In a meek voice, I said, “OK.” My mom then asked, “What hospital are you staying at?” I replied, “Tempe St. Luke’s, I am staying in room 325 right now.” My mom said, “Okay, we will see you tomorrow, get some rest and text or call us if anything changes. We love you.” I said, “I love y’all too.” Hanging up, I set my phone down on the table. I take the remote turn the TV on and start to surf through the channels. With it being basic cable, there is not much to watch, so I settle on reruns of Criminal Minds. Within 30 minutes of watching TV, I fell asleep. I wake up to my joints throbbing in pain. I grab the remote and hit the call button. A few minutes later a short Latino nurse walks in who looks to be in her early thirties. She is wearing dark purple scrubs and has black hair and brown eyes. Thinking to myself, ‘It must be after 7 pm.’ She introduces herself with, “Hi Will, my name is Isoline, and I will be your nurse tonight. What can I do for you?” I said, “Can I get some more pain medicine?” She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” She then walks out of the room to return a minute later with a syringe in hand. She walks over to my I.V. line and connects the syringe to the port. With a push of the plunger, relief washes over me within seconds. She then said, “Alright, you should be feeling better now, do you need anything else?” I said, “No, but thanks for the meds.” She said, “No problem, let me know if you need anything tonight.” I said, “OK, thanks.” Isoline left me to myself to get some rest. I reclined the bed to a flat position and got under the covers. With the meds taking effect, it did not take me long to succumb to sleep. I wake the next day to the sun shining and my I.V. pump beeping. My joints are throbbing again and I waste no time and hit the call button. As I am waiting on a nurse, I note that despite having to sleep in the hospital last night, it was not as bad as I imagined. I was only woken up once to get my vitals checked and once I had to rush to the bathroom to poop and surprisingly pee too. I hear a knock at the door to shake me out of my thoughts. I see that it is Rachael. She said, “What can I …, I see that you need more fluids” She then pressed some buttons on the pump to get it to stop beeping. She said, “Well, besides for fluids, do you need anything else?” “Can I get some more pain medicine?” I asked. She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” A minute later, Rachael was back with a bag of fluids in one hand and a syringe in the other. She swapped out the empty bag of fluids with the new one, then took the syringe and pushed the meds into my I.V. line. I let out a sigh of relief as the medicine took effect. She looked at me and said, “The doctor wants to get your height and weight this morning. Can you follow me to the nurse's station?” I responded by getting out of bed and grabbing my I.V. pole. She gestured for me to follow her and I walked behind her to the nurse station. I stand on the scale that is in the corner behind the station and she weighs me and I turn around on the scale for her to measure my height. Stepping off the scale and with Rachael standing right beside me, I notice that she is a few inches taller than me. Looking up at her, I asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?” She looked at me and said, “I am about 5 foot and 11 ½ inches tall.” With concern in my voice, “Uh, how much do I weigh and how tall am I?” Glancing at her notes, she said, “I recorded you weighing 129 pounds and having a height of 5 foot, 8 and ½ inches tall.” With a shocked look on my face, I said, “I don’t know if you would believe me, but just a few days ago I was 6 foot and 155 pounds.” She paused for a second, then said, “I saw in your records that it stated that you have lost some height and weight. This is something that I have not seen before, but I have full faith in the doctors finding out what is going on today.” With that statement, she gestured for me to follow her back to my room. Walking back into the room I said, “Is it alright if I take a shower? Besides taking a quick one yesterday morning, I have not taken a shower in days.” She said, “Sure, there are towels, washcloths, soap, and shampoo in the bathroom. There should also be a disposable toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink counter. By the time you are done showering, I will have a clean gown and socks for you to change into.” I said, “Thanks,” and made my way over to my backpack resting on the chair and grabbed the extra pair of sweatpants and underwear that I had packed. Pushing the I.V. pole, I enter the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I turn the shower water on, then begin to strip off all of my clothes. I positioned the I.V. pole beside the shower and after testing to see if the water was warm, I stepped in. After letting the warm water run down my body for a few minutes, I wash my hair and rinse the shampoo out. Grabbing a washcloth off of the towel rack by the shower, I lather it up with a bar of soap. As I am washing my body, I am shocked to notice that all of my body hair is thinning. Rinsing off all the soap, I turned the shower off, grabbed a towel, and quickly dried off. Stepping out of the shower, I slip on my underwear and sweatpants. As I stood in front of the mirror, I was shocked by the reflection that was staring back at me. My beard is thin and patchy and my face looks like the face of me in high school. Not being able to dwell on it too long, I am hit with the need to poop. I turn around and sit down on the toilet to release another colon’s worth of poop. As I am sitting on the toilet and despite all that is happening to me, I still chuckle to myself at the thought of what Daniel Tosh said about a post-shower shit, ‘I might as well go back to bed and start my day over again.’ Deciding that I am done pooping, I wipe, flush, wash my hands, then take the toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth. I also found a comb to comb my hair with. Looking back at my patchy beard, I sigh. I never tried growing a beard until I was in my early twenties, because I thought that it looked weird having partial facial hair. I think to myself, ‘Back to being clean shaved I guess.’ I put the towel, washcloth, gown, and socks in a pile on the floor and grab my dirty sweatpants and underwear. Walking back into my room, I see that Rachael kept her word and there is a folded-up gown with socks on top. I toss my dirty clothes on the chair by my bag and put on the clean gown and socks. I then hit the call button on the remote, sit on the bed, and wait for Rachael. About 10 minutes later, Rachael walks in. “What can I get for you Will?” she said. “Can I get a razor and some shaving cream? My facial and body hair seems to be falling out. I usually can grow a full beard,” I said. After staring at me for a second, she re-composed herself, then said, “That is a symptom that you will need to discuss with the doctor today; in the meantime, I will go and get you a razor and shaving cream.” A minute later, Rachael is back with the razor and shaving cream, and I go back into the bathroom to shave off what is left of my beard. After wiping off my face from shaving, I look into the mirror and see my mid highschool self looking back at me. I still have dark bags under my eyes, but looking at myself, I don’t look a day over 16. Thinking that there is no use in causing myself to have a panic attack, I walk back into my room, lay back in bed, and turn the TV on for background noise as I wait for the doctor. Watching reruns of Law and Order, I fell asleep. I wake up to a knock on the door. I then see a man walk in wearing khakis, a light blue button-down shirt, a dark blue tie, and a white lab coat. He looks to be in his early forties and has light brown hair and brown eyes. “Good morning Will, I am Dr. James Wilson, how are you feeling this morning?” he said. I said, “I have been better, the fluids and pain medicine have been helping.” “That is good to hear. Could you please tell me all of the symptoms that you have been having over the past few days,” he said. I managed to tell him about the vomiting, strange bowel movements, joint pain, excessive tiredness and weakness, and headaches. I also told him about the height and weight loss. “There is one more thing that I noticed this morning. When I was taking a shower, it looked like all my body hair was starting to fall out. After taking a shower, I also noticed that my beard was thinning and patchy. I had to shave what was left off due to it looking so bad,” I said. After pausing for a second to think, Dr. Wilson said, “It seems that you have some odd symptoms. It does look like an autoimmune disease of some kind, but your symptoms do not look like some of the more common ones like Lupus. I am going to have blood cultures taken to rule out an infection that could have been missed yesterday. I will order another blood panel to see if anything changed from yesterday along with testing for different autoimmune diseases. I would like to take another urine sample and a stool sample too. I will put in an order too for a full body CT scan and X-ray. Do you have any questions?” I said, “Uh, … not really. Do you know when I will have the results back?” “We should have some of the results back today, but most of the test results will not be in until sometime between tomorrow and Sunday,” he said. “OK,” I said. “One more thing; I know that you have not had any success with eating and drinking over the past few days, but I would like for you to try eating some jello or soup broth today. If you still cannot keep it down, then we will need to explore other options for getting nutrition in you,” he said. I replied, “I will try eating some jello at lunch.” “I will put the orders in for everything and will see you tomorrow to go over any of the results that come back,” he said. I thanked him and he walked out of the room. I grabbed my phone off of the table and saw that I had a text from my mom saying that they should be at the hospital between 4 and 5. With a quick “thumbs up” response, I see that it is 11 am. I think ‘crap’, I am supposed to be in class today. Then I realized that I never finished my abstract algebra homework that is due today and I left my ODE homework at my apartment when I emptied my backpack that is also due today. Opening up my email, I composed an email to all three of my class professors, including my applied matrix theory class. In the body of the email, I told them about me being sick since Tuesday night and that I am currently in the hospital, and that it looks like I will be here for at least over the weekend. With the email complete, I hit send. Not knowing what next week has in store for me, I pull up the email chain from Dr. Lau and explain in the email about me being in the hospital and that it is best to go ahead and plan for me possibly not being back next week to teach. I go on to explain that all of the students' assignments have been graded but the quiz from the class on Tuesday and yesterday. I then tell him that the quiz from Tuesday is in the top drawer of my desk in my office if I am not back in time to grade them. After hitting send, I see Rachael walk in pushing a cart. She said, “Will, I am going to draw some blood.” I nod then she pushes the cart by my bed and takes out all the supplies to get a blood sample. She then begins to fill what looks to be around 12 vials of blood. When she was done and putting a bandaid on my arm, I jokingly said, “It seems like I am donating blood, not giving a sample.” With a smile, she said, “It certainly looks that way.” She then takes two other items off of the cart. Turning back to me she held up a clear cup and said, “This is for a urine sample.” Then holding up an opaque white container that looks like a Tupperware container, she said, “This is for a stool sample, I am going to leave both containers in the bathroom for the next time you have to go. Is there anything you need from me?” I said, “The doctor wants me to try eating something, could I have some jello please.” She said, “Sure, do you want strawberry, orange, or lime?” I said, “I will take the lime.” She said, “I will be back in a few minutes with your jello.” She pushed the cart back out of the room and returned about 5 minutes later with a single-serving cup of green jello with a plastic spool. She then said, “Please let me know if you get sick after eating this so I can let the doctor know.” I responded with a “Yes”, she walked out of the room and I began tearing into the small cup of jello. Within seconds of setting the empty cup on the table, I feel the need to throw up. I reach for the vomit bag on the table and a moment later I am throwing up the green jello into it. As soon as I am done dry heaving, I get the need to poop again. Not wanting to waste any time, since I need more time to get a sample, I get out of bed with the vomit bag in one hand and then unplug the I.V. pump with the other. Pushing the I.V. pole, I throw the used vomit bag away in the medical waste bin as I make my way into the bathroom. I grab the container for a stool sample and remove the lid. Looking for the best way to do this without making a mess and overfilling the container. I stood in front of the toilet and with one hand holding the container below my butt from between my legs, I hover over the toilet to let the first wave of poop into the container. As soon as the first amount of poop is deposited into the container, I immediately clench my cheeks and pull the container from between my legs and plant my butt onto the toilet to finish pooping. As I am sitting on the toilet, I feel the need to pee. Thinking to myself, ‘This is the first time ever, that I will have to hold my bladder while pooping.’ I hurriedly finished, wiped, and flushed. I grabbed the urine sample cup, stood back in front of the toilet, collected a sample, then emptied the rest of the contents of my bladder into the toilet and flushed. I put the lids on both containers and washed my hands. I made it back to bed and hit the call button for Rachael. A few minutes later, Rachael walks in and asks, “Did you have any trouble eating your jello?” I said, “Yeah, as soon as I was finished eating, I threw it back up.” She said, “I’m sorry to hear that, I will let the doctor know, is there anything else I can get for you?” “No, but I was able to get a stool and urine sample. Both samples are on the bathroom counter,” I said. “OK, someone should be here soon to take you to get your X-ray and CT scan.” Rachael then grabbed the samples and walked out of my room. About 30 minutes later an orderly was walking into my room. After getting me situated in the wheelchair with my I.V., we made the 5-minute journey back downstairs to the radiology department. I was first given a full body x-ray that only lasted about 15 minutes, but halfway through the full body CT scan, the morphine was beginning to wear off. By the time the orderly got me back into my room, I was clenching my jaw from the pain in all my joints. I hit the call button and Rachael was in my room within minutes. Rachael asked, “What can I get for you, Will?” Through a clenching jaw, I said, “I need pain meds now!” She said, “I will be right back.” She almost ran out of the room. In under a minute later, she was speed walking back in with a syringe in hand. Wasting no time, she pushed the medicine into my I.V. line. With relief written on my face, I said, “Thank you.” She said, “I'm glad that helped, get some rest, you had a busy day so far.” On that note and with the pain medicine taking full effect, I fell asleep. I awoke sometime later to both my parents standing at the foot of my bed with puzzled looks on their faces. I then hear my mom say, “Will?!?”

I was bored today with the bad weather in my area, so I decided to go ahead and write chapter 2. Thanks again Sofia for the tip on using Google Docs and Grammarly. It helped a lot on this chapter. I edited chapter one and the format should look a lot better. I am still looking at a slow burn on the diaper content, but after this chapter, there will be plenty of medical drama for the next 5 to 10 chapters. I say 5 to 10 chapters because I am not sure how detailed I want to go with this and I am trying my best not want to jump ahead to Will in diapers and the many surprises when that happens. Chapter Two I wake up to the alarm on my phone going off. My body and head is still aching. I reach over and turn my phone alarm off and turn back over to go back to sleep. Waking up again, I roll over and look at my phone to see that it is 9:34 am. With my joints and head still hurting, I gingerly get out of bed. Slipping my phone into my sweatpants pocket and grabbing the empty glass off my nightstand, I slowly make my way to the kitchen to refill my glass in the sink. Reaching into the cabinet above my sink, I get out a bottle of Tylenol. Taking two pills out of the bottle, I knock them back with a sip of water. Hoping that the pills take care of my aches and pains, I down the rest of the glass of water. I make my way to my couch and lay down with the remote in hand. Turning on the TV, I go to my Hulu account to watch reruns of Always Sunny. Hopefully, the antics of Dennis, Frank, Charlie, Dee, and Mac will put me in a better mood. As I am about halfway through the first episode of the gang trying to solve gun control, I start to get nauseous and sleepy. Before the episode could even finish, I fell asleep. My eyes shoot open, I bolt from the couch to the bathroom and fall to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to vomit a mixture of bile, water, and the two half-digested Tylenol pills. After wiping my mouth with toilet paper and flushing the toilet, I use the vanity counter to pull myself from my knees to my feet. I rinse my mouth out and wash my hands. Before I could make it back to the couch, I got the overwhelming need to poop. I turn on my heels and make a B-line for the toilet. With my butt cheeks clenched, I yank my pants down in front of the toilet and slam my rear end on the seat. With only a few moments to spare, a packed colon's worth of mud came out of me. After sitting on the toilet for a few minutes, I decided that my bowels must be empty. I wipe, flush, then wash my hands, and make my way back to the couch. Sitting on the couch, I pull my phone out of my pocket to see what time it is. Looking at my phone I see that it is a little past noon and think to myself, ‘Crap, I was supposed to meet up with Steven after classes today to work on homework.’ Opening up my messenger app, I pull up the text conversation with Steven. I texted, “Hey man, I think I have a stomach virus or something. I did not go to class today and will not be able to meet up to work on homework. I have been talking on the big white phone most of last night and today.” I set my phone on the coffee table and lay back down on the couch. The TV is still playing episodes of Always Sunny, granted I slept through the last few episodes. I hear my phone ding and see the screen light up on the coffee table. Grabbing my phone, I see that it is a text from Steven. “No worries man, get better soon.” Setting my phone down, my eyes turn back to the TV, but my mind starts thinking about what I need to do tomorrow. I realize, that even if I feel better by tomorrow morning, it is probably best that I stay home for another day. I am scheduled to run the tutoring center tomorrow morning from 9 am to 10:45 am. I also have a calculus recitation class to teach from 11 am to 12:15 pm. Luckily, I am giving a quiz that will take up the last 45 minutes of class. It would probably be best if I go ahead and email Professor Martin Lau, the instructor of the main lecture classes so that the department could get someone to fill in for me. I get up and walk over to my desk where my backpack is leaning against one of the filing cabinets. Unzipping the compartment that holds my laptop, I pull it out and walk back over to sit on my couch. Opening up my laptop, I wait a moment for it to boot up. When the screen cuts on, I am greeted with my home screen asking for my PIN to log in. After entering my 4-digit PIN, I open up my browser to login to my university email account. Composing a new email, I enter Professor Lau’s email address and I also decide to cc Amy, the department admin on this email too, just in case. I flagged the email as urgent with the subject line being tomorrow's class and the tutoring center. In the body of the email I wrote: “Professor Lau, It seems that I have come down with a stomach virus and will not be able to work tomorrow at the tutoring center at my scheduled time. I also will not be able to teach my recitation class tomorrow at 11 am. I have planned for the first 30 minutes of class to be where students could ask questions about the current homework assignment and if they did not have any questions, I was going to review integration-by-parts during that time. For the last 45 minutes, I have a quiz for them to take that is on the previous two weeks of material. I have attached both the pdf and tex versions of the quiz to this email. -Will” After I attached the quiz files to the email, I hit send, closed my laptop, and set it on the coffee table by my phone. With my body and head still aching, I lay back down on the couch and continued to watch TV. Within 30 minutes, I fell back to sleep. I wake to my phone ringing on the coffee table. Picking up the phone, I see that it is my mom calling and that it is 5 pm. Realizing that today is Wednesday and my mom always calls me around dinner time in her time zone of Georgia on Wednesday. I answered the phone with a groggy, “Hey Mom.” In a cheery voice, she said, “ Hey Will, just calling to see how your week has been going?” I responded with, “It was going well until late last night, I have been throwing up, and my joints and head have hurt since then.” With concern in her voice, “Was it something you ate? How much fluids have you been drinking? Have you eaten anything today? What are you doing about school?” With the rapid fire of questions, I collected my thoughts and answered, “I don’t think it was something I ate. I ate a pot roast last night that I have cooked countless times with no problems. I only had one glass of water today, and I ended up vomiting later on with the Tylenol that I took. I have not eaten anything today and I have sent an email out and should be covered for tomorrow.” After answering all her questions, I hear silence on the line. After a few moments, my mom responded, “Honey, this is not good, not being able to keep down water is not good. You need to see a doctor as soon as possible. And don’t make me fly there and take you myself.” With a groan at the mention of doctors, I said, “If I don’t feel better by tomorrow morning or if I get worse, I will go to the ER.” With a slightly better tone in her voice, she said, “Please do, and try to eat something gentle on your stomach tonight with some water. Please let me know if anything changes and if you need me. Your father and I will be on the next flight out there if you need us.” “Thanks mom, I will try and eat something tonight.” My mom then said, “Call me tomorrow regardless if you feel better just to let me know that you are OK. And if anything comes up you can call me or your father, even if it is in the middle of the night.” Feeling grateful for my parents, I said, “Thanks, mom. I will talk to you tomorrow. I love you.” She responded back, “I love you too Will, remember to call me tomorrow.” Hanging up my phone, I look at the screen and see an email notification from Professor Lau. Opening up the email, I see it reads, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, we will have everything covered. Get some rest and I hope you feel better soon.” With everything taken care of tomorrow, I let out a breath of relief. I turn my attention back to the TV. and let my mind wander as I veg out to more Always Sunny. As I notice that it is starting to get dark outside, I get up and move to my kitchen to make good on my word that I would try and eat something tonight. Opening up my pantry cabinet, I began looking for something that would be light on my stomach. After looking for a few minutes, I decided on instant grits. Taking a packet out of the box and grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet, I pour the contents of the packet into the bowl. With my stomach the way it is, I use half a cup of water to mix with the grits instead of milk like I usually do. After stirring the grits and water together with a spoon, I place it in the microwave for one minute to heat up. Grabbing a clean glass from the cabinet I fill it up with water from the sink. After the microwave beeps, I take the bowl of grits out and stir it with the spoon. Taking the bowl of grits and a glass of water, I make it back to the couch. Sitting on the couch, I slowly eat the bowl of grits and sip on the glass of water. After a few minutes, all the grits are gone, along with half the glass of water. Laying back down, I continue to watch TV as my eyes get heavy and I fall asleep. I wake up and it is still dark outside. I am met with the intense need to both poop and throw up. I make a mad dash to the bathroom and launch my butt onto the toilet seat. An eruption from my bowels comes out and a moment later I am leaning over to projectile vomit into the bathtub. After dry heaving for a few minutes, I sit back up and try to catch my breath. Both my head and joints are throbbing and it takes me a few minutes to get the energy to wipe both my face and bottom with toilet paper. I slowly get up and lean over the vanity to wash my hands, rinse out my mouth, and brush my teeth. Without even thinking, I slowly make my way to my bed and collapse on top of my blanket and sheets. Moments after my head hits the pillow, I pass out. I wake up to it being light outside, my head and joints are still throbbing. Using almost all of my energy, I get out of bed and make it to the couch to look at my phone that was sitting on the coffee table from the previous night. Looking at the screen, I see that it is 8:12 am. At that moment, I reluctantly decided that I needed to go to the ER. I pull up maps and look for the closest hospital. The results show that St. Luke’s is only 4 miles away. Looking down I notice that I have been wearing the same sweats since the night before and I have not taken a shower since the morning before all this started. I get up with my phone in hand and walk into my bedroom to put it on charge. Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the water to the shower and strip my clothes off. Checking to see if the water is warm enough, I step under the water and lean against the wall of the shower. I stand under the water for a few minutes, letting the warm water run down my head and body. With some determination, I take some shampoo and quickly wash my hair and some body wash and wash my armpits, crotch, and butt. After rinsing off, I grab a towel off of the towel rack beside the shower and dry off. Stepping out of the shower with the towel around my waist, I step in front of the vanity. Taking a comb, I begin to comb my hair. As I combed my hair, I noticed something odd. I have always been able to grow a thick full beard since I was in my early twenties, but looking at my face, it looks like my beard is thinning. I also noticed that I have dark bags under my eyes. Shaking that thought from my mind, I walk into my bedroom to get dressed. Opening up my dresser, I take out another set of sweats, an old surf shop tee shirt, and a pair of boxer briefs. I slowly get dressed, trying my best not to fall over in the process due to how weak and tired I feel. I have to tie the drawstrings as tight as possible, taking note that I definitely lost some weight over the past 48 hours. I take an extra set of clothes from out of my dresser, my phone, and my charger, and walk into my living room area. I grab my backpack by my desk and empty all of its contents to pack for my hopefully short trip to the ER. I repack the bag with my laptop and charger, my extra set of clothes, and my phone charger. I slip on my shoes and sling my backpack over my shoulder. As I am putting my phone, keys, and wallet into my sweatpants pockets, I notice that my pant legs seem to bunch up around my shoes more than usual. I open the front door to my apartment and walk out into the blinding sun. Turning around, I close the door and lock it. I make my way down the catwalk to the stairwell. I take my time walking down the stairs, with one hand firmly on the railing. There is a slight fear that I may fall due to my current condition. Making my way across the parking lot to my SUV, I unlock my 4-runner with the key fob. Opening up the driver-side door, I toss my backpack onto the front passenger seat. Sitting down in the driver seat, I close my door and start up my car. Taking out my phone, I look up the directions to the parking garage next to St. Luke’s ER. With the drive being only 6 minutes, I back out of my parking spot and start my short drive. As I am pulling out of the parking lot, I think to myself that this day is going to suck.

Hey y'all - been awhile! I don't get much time to write, but over the last several years I've slowly been building up a little bit of a catalogue. I have enough content to post that I plan to slowly drip it out over the next several months. After that, maybe I'll have more stuff that isn't written yet, or maybe not - I will never start posting something before I think that the entire piece is finished, so it comes down to the mix of time and inspiration. But in the meantime, I thought I'd repost the original since I'm sure it will be new to lots of people. I'll repost the other next week, and then start with some new stuff. Thanks for the occasional posts and messages over the years. It's nice to know at least a few people have enjoyed it over the years. --- “Good morning, Baby!” Jackie's mother woke her with the same enthusiasm that she used every morning. At first, her syrupy sweet tone was almost too much to take, but over time, like much of her new life, Jackie had grown to accept it. Yawning, she answered, “Good mowaning, Mommy,” as was expected of her. As her mouth was closing, her mother picked up her pacifier from her pillow and slipped it back into her mouth, where it had been when she fell asleep and where it was expected to stay while she was awake unless it was removed by what she was forced to call “a grown-up.” Her mother checked her diaper and found it wet, as she always did now in the mornings. Jackie had not been a bed-wetter when her parents had decided that she would once again become the baby in the family, but several months without using anything but her diapers had been enough to completely destroy her bladder control, especially when asleep. Jackie seldom stayed in a dry diaper for more than a half an hour at a time any more, and, unlike at the beginning of her new life, when she would often soak her diapers heavily and require a nearly immediate change to prevent a leak, she now often stayed in damp diapers through several hours of minor wettings until finally she was given a change. This morning was no exception, and her mother declared that she would be able to last until she had finished her breakfast. Within seconds, the side of Jackie's crib had been lowered and she was helped down to the ground by her mother. Still in her pink, very short nighty that she had been put to bed in, Jackie began to crawl out of her room, with her mother following close behind her. When she got to the stairs, she shifted positions and slid downstairs on her bottom. Returning to crawling, Jackie crossed through the living room, past her playpen and toys, and into the kitchen. When she arrived there, her mother helped her up into the highchair that sat waiting for her near the table. As with every morning, Jackie was strapped in, with her mother reminding her that “we wouldn't want our precious babykins to fall out,” in the same awful coo that she was always addressed in these days. The tray of her highchair was soon locked into position against her chest, and her mother crossed the kitchen to begin preparing the oatmeal that Jackie was fed every morning for breakfast. As it heated in the microwave, her mother fastened one of Jackie's many embarrassing bibs around her neck. This one was relatively mundane, however, simply reading “Mommy's Little Princess” in pink letters across a plain yellow fabric, and Jackie rarely even bothered to read her bibs anymore knowing that they were only ever seen by people who were well aware of her new status as a baby. Soon enough, the microwave beeped and Jackie's mother brought her over her steaming hot oatmeal and began spoon-feeding it to her. Jackie accepted the oatmeal without any fuss. She did not particularly enjoy it, and she particularly disliked being spoon-fed it by her cooing mother, but she had learned long ago that there was no sense in resisting it. Her mother always made sure that she ate all of her food, no matter how much time that took, and any real resistance usually just led to some sort of punishment afterwards, which Jackie never enjoyed and avoided like the plague. Besides, though the oatmeal was not very tasty and there was always far more of it than Jackie truly wished to eat (her mother said that Jackie had become too skinny), breakfast was easily the best meal of the day for Jackie. At other meals, she was forced to eat real baby foods, rather than the comparatively adult selection of oatmeal. These meals, she had decided, were the ones that were truly disgusting, and so she had come to see breakfast as the best meal of the day, for better or for worse. Just as her mother was shoveling the last spoonful of oatmeal into Jackie's increasingly dirty mouth (her mother always made sure that an appropriate amount of baby food ended up on Jackie's face and bib, no matter how politely Jackie accepted her feed), Jackie saw her father walk into the room. After she swallowed, her mother asked “What do you say to your daddy, little girl?” “Hewwo Daddy,” Jackie lisped out in the ridiculous voice that she was always required to speak in. One of the rules of her new life was that she was always to speak in a babyish voice, which was made easier by the large nipple of the pacifier that was normally in her mouth. Still, this humiliating speech was one of the things that Jackie hated most about being a baby again, especially since she was usually only allowed to speak when she was repeating what she was told to say by an adult, with the only exceptions being to answer questions which she already knew the answer too like the one that her mother had just asked her. Her father crossed the kitchen and kissed her on the top of the head, which was just about the only way he could avoid getting oatmeal on his lips. “Good morning Princess,” he answered, using his preferred nickname for his big baby daughter. Jackie noticed that her father was not dressed in his work clothes as he normally was. That was odd, she thought. She was almost sure that it was Friday, though it was hard for her to tell given that she wasn't even sure what month it was and rarely even glimpsed a clock. In converting her into a full time baby, her parents had seemingly taken great care to deprive her of her ability to track time. Her highchair faced away from the clock in the kitchen, and there was no way to tell time either in the living room where her playpen was or in her nursery. She spent very little time outside, so all she really knew about the time of the year was that it was quite hot, and thus she assumed that it was summer. At first she had known how many days and weeks it had been since her parents had made her a baby, but as the weeks turned to months and it became increasingly clear that her newly lowered status would not be ending anytime soon, she gave up on diligently keeping track in her head. She tracked days of the week through whether or not her father had gone to work in the morning, but this was imperfect for a number of reasons. Her dad, like everyone else, occasionally took days off. Beyond that, Jackie often found that she simply lost track by the time Thursday, Friday, or Saturday rolled around because it really made little difference to her what day it was, as the only difference that the day of the week would make to her daily routine would be that her father would be around if it were a weekend day and would most often be at work on the weekdays. Thus, Jackie dismissed the idea that her father's casual clothing meant much of anything and assumed that it was simply Saturday and she had lost track of time again. Her musings on her dad's clothes were interrupted by her mother tilting her head back from behind and putting a bottle of formula into her mouth. Of all the ways to be fed from a bottle, this one was undoubtedly the worst in Jackie's opinion. To her immense displeasure, she drank exclusively baby formula. She found it to be too thin, too sweet, and just plain gross. She particularly hated its horrendous aftertaste, which hung around for hours and almost left her feeling thirsty again, though another drink of formula was the last thing she wanted. Despite her distaste for the milk, Jackie found that bottles were an inescapable part of her daily life. She was given one after each meal, along with two each as a “snack” in both the morning and afternoon and another after nap time and before bed, plus the other one or two she might be given to drink on her own over the course of the day. Being fed in the highchair, as she was now, was particularly embarrassing to Jackie. With her head tilted back, the bottle feeding forced her to look up at her mother, who usually put her face very close to Jackie's and whispered coos to her about how little or cute or precious or well behaved she was. Beyond this, Jackie felt particularly infantile because of the way that the bottle simply poured into her mouth and she had to suck even more furiously than normally just to keep up with the flow of the bottle. Fortunately, after just a few short minutes of the torture, Jackie finished the bottle. Her mother quickly and efficiently used her bib to clean up the oatmeal and milk that had remained on Jackie's face and then replaced her pacifier before removing the tray from the highchair. After she unbuckled the straps, she helped Jackie down to the floor. On autopilot, Jackie crawled into the living room and towards the playpen to begin her daily routine of nearly insufferable boredom. However, her mother had a different plan for her. “Where do you think you're going, silly?” she asked Jackie, as if Jackie were stupid for assuming that her day would begin in the same way that it had for literally weeks before. “We have a big day ahead of us today, so Mommy is going to give her little baby a nice bath so that if we don't have time we don't have to do it later.” Suddenly Jackie's curiosity was piqued again. Perhaps it was Friday, and her dad being home wasn't a coincidence but part of the “big day” that her mother was talking about. Jackie knew it was better not to ask, that her parents would tell her what was up eventually, but she was certainly afraid of what might be to come. Her mother had never said anything like this before, and normally she didn't get a bath until sometime just before dinner. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of a big day given her humiliating status within her family. Jackie crawled up the stairs and into the bathroom. Her mother started the water for her, then told her to sit still while she fetched her a nice new diaper for when she got out of the bath. Before she had time to so much as think, her mommy returned holding diapering supplies. As if to humiliate Jackie even more, her mommy said simply “we wouldn't want baby to do pee-pees all over the floor on her way to her nursery, would we?” All Jackie could do was avert her glance in shame, knowing full well that her mom was not totally off base. Soon Jackie had been stripped out of her nighty and her quite damp diaper and, with just a quick wiping, deposited in the bathwater. The water was warm and refreshing, but her mother did not give her more than the few seconds it took to clean up her wet diaper and put her nighty in the hamper to enjoy it. In a record time, Jackie was given her usual, thorough bath that included a scrubbing of all of the places that Jackie had once assumed her mother would never see again. Within just a moment of the scrubbing ending, Jackie was hauled out of the tub, dried off, and once again laying on the changing mat. By now, Jackie could confidently say she was unlikely to make good on her mother's prediction of being wet before her nursery, but only because she had already peed while sitting in the tub. As the diaper was laid out and Jackie was being powdered, she realized that she was once again being put into a thick, nighttime diaper, which was normally reserved for when she was about to be put in her crib for the night. This had never happened before, which gave Jackie further misgivings about what “big day” was in store for her. As if to answer her question, her mother said, “Don't worry baby, we just have a long car ride ahead of us and it will be much easier if Mommy and Daddy don't need to pull over every couple of hours just to change their little tinkle-pants.” Jackie wasn't sure whether to be dismayed or glad after that comment. Her parents weren't the only ones who didn't want to be pulling over every couple of hours in order to change Jackie's diapers. Any diaper change that began with pulling over sounded like the most humiliating experience of Jackie's time as a baby. But hearing that they would be traveling that far scared Jackie very much. Where could they possibly be going? Jackie didn't even have time to ask. As soon as her bulky diaper was taped shut, she was flipped over and ordered to march to her nursery. Naked but for the thirsty disposable between her legs, Jackie did as she was told, though her apprehension caused her to move slow enough for her mother to give her a quick smack on the rear as a signal to hurry up. With a somewhat renewed vigor, Jackie finished her short crawl into her nursery. As always, she was helped onto her changing table by her mother to be dressed. She sat with her legs dangling over the edge of the table while her mother opened the drawer of her dresser across the room. She soon returned with a relatively simple pink onesie for Jackie to wear. While it wasn't the most embarrassing piece of clothing in Jackie's extensive new wardrobe, it was still more than she really wished to be seen in public in, especially given the frilly lace around the arm holes and across the bottom. She was also put off by word “baby” spelled out in baby blocks the chest, but supposed that the fact that she would be wearing a onesie over a thick, bulging disposable diaper meant that the label wasn't really telling anyone anything they couldn't figure out. Only after her mother pulled it over her head and fastened the buttons in her crotch did Jackie realize that the ensemble was not yet complete. Her mother told her to stay where she was. She soon returned with an item that she had never before seen. It was pink, though much brighter than the pastel shade of her onesie. It took Jackie only a moment longer to realize that it was a denim pair of shortalls. While they were loud and quite babyish and seemingly likely to draw a stare from anyone who really examined them, Jackie's first reaction was to let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness that much of the onesie would be covered! Soon, though, her delight was diminished. As her mother brought the shortalls up her legs, she realized that they were closed on the bottoms with the same humiliating buttons that her onesie had, thus making it obvious that they were hiding diapers that may need changing. Still, at least the ruffles on the seat of her onesie were mercifully covered up. What bothered her most, though, was the wording on the front of the garment. Stitched in clear, large blue letters was the simple monogram “Baby Jackie.” Clearly, this was a custom article of clothing. In her size how could it not be. Jackie began to cry. She knew she was going out of the house, and now she knew she would be doing so in clothes that openly announced her status to anyone who took so much as a second glance at her. Her mother reacted quickly to her tears. Hugging her daughter, she cooed “Shh shh shh, baby, its ok, Mommy's here. Whats the matter diddums? Does baby need a bubba?” Tears came much less frequently now for Jackie, who had felt at least some of her embarrassment at her new station in life wear off as the novelty of it did as well. At first, almost every new humiliation that her parents had in store for her reduced her to sobs, but over time Jackie had reached a point where only extreme humiliation, a particularly severe punishment, or a notably depressing day could send her into such a spiral. Ever since the beginning though, her mother reacted the same way. She always behaved as if she had no idea what could be wrong, though it was almost always quite obvious what the problem was. Instead, she pretended that Jackie must simply be suffering from a problem that may make a baby cry. Diapers were always checked, and if they proved not to be the answer (they never did, as her mother was always fairly well aware of their state) then she would give Jackie a bottle under the assumption that she was hungry and/or thirsty. This time was no different. Jackie soon found herself, still sobbing, in her mother's lap as she sat in the oversized rocking chair in the corner of her room. Her mother positioned her head on her shoulder, with Jackie's diapered bottom on the chair just next to her legs. Removing Jackie's pacifier, she inserted a bottle into her waiting mouth. As Jackie's mother told her that she was her precious little baby, she did her best to calm down. She knew that continuing to cry through her bottle was likely to lead to a nap time under the assumption that her tears indicated tiredness, which was the last thing that she wanted, as she would simply be left to contemplate the daunting day ahead of her. Jackie had indeed finished crying by the time her bottle was empty. Her mother gave her a kiss and then popped her pacifier back in her mouth. She left Jackie on the rocking chair for a moment. When she returned, she carried a pink ribbon with a pin. She tied the open end of the ribbon to the loop on Jackie's pacifier, and pinned the other end of the ribbon to the part of her onesie that stuck out on top of the shoulder straps of her shortalls. “We don't want your paci to fall out in the car while mommy and daddy are in the front seats, and can’t help you, right baby?” was the explanation that her mother gave her. “Time to go to the car, princess!” her mother continued. With a distinct sense of dread, Jackie allowed herself to be lifted down from the rocking chair. She began to crawl into the hallway, and once again bumped her way down the stairs. Her mother seemed to forgive her slow pace this time. Jackie had only left the house on a handful of occasions since she had become the family baby once again, but she knew the drill. She crawled her way to the door in the kitchen that led to the garage. There, her mother opened the door (babies weren't allowed to open doors, as she had learned early on in her new life) and allowed Jackie to bump down the three more stairs that led to the garage floor. “Take Mommy's hand so you don't go boom and make an ouchie,” her mother commanded, standing her up. The hand she was offered was perhaps more welcome than her mother knew. On an average day, the only time Jackie ever stood was to be put into and taken out of her highchair and to be raised onto or off of the changing table. In both of these instances Jackie was to crawl to the very spot where she would need to be standing in order to take the step up into her babyish position, and so most days she didn't take a single step while standing. All of this meant that, while Jackie could still walk, she was significantly worse at it than she had been before the months of inactivity had diminished her balance. Though Jackie walked due to the dirty garage floor, she didn't walk far. It was less than ten steps to the car. When she got there, her mother quickly gave her a boost up into the back seat of the mid-sized SUV that she normally drove. Jackie wondered for a split second why they were not taking her father's car, which they usually took when going on longer trips, but her answer came just as quickly when she remembered that her custom-made, adult-sized car seat had been installed in the rear of her mother's car and was quite a hassle to remove. Despite her misgivings about the trip, Jackie obediently settled herself into the seat and allowed her mother to strap her in. The restraint was extremely snug, especially in the areas where it came into contact with her extra thick nighttime diaper. “All right baby, you're all nice and safe for our ride! We have quite the trip ahead of us! We're going all the way to a place called Maine for a family reunion! You'll get to meet all of your aunts and uncles and cousins! They'll think you're so cute! But we have a long ride ahead of us, so you need to be a patient baby while we drive, ok?” Jackie resented so much of what she was told. She resented being treated like she'd never heard of Maine. She resented the idea that she would be traveling strapped in this car seat for a minimum of ten or so hours, given that her family lived in Virginia and she had no idea how far into Maine they were going. Most of all though, she resented that her parents were very clearly intent not just on bringing her to a family reunion in diapers, but on displaying her in her fully babied state when they got there. As she was still processing what would be happening to her, her mother continued “Daddy and I need to finish packing the car, so you sit tight, and we'll get on the road in just a few minutes.” “As if I have any choice,” Jackie thought, though she continued to simply suck on her pacifier. About ten minutes later, after the trunk behind her had been opened and closed several times, her parents finally got into the car. As her dad started the car, Jackie noted that the clock on the dashboard read 8:30. This made sense to her, as she was pretty sure she was normally awoken at around 7:00 in the morning. “Great,” she thought, “best case scenario, we won't get there until at least 6:30. Just in time for dinner and my 8 o'clock bedtime. This is going to be an even more boring day than usual.” After a quick stop at a local gas station, during which Jackie felt glad for the Elmo-themed sunblocker that sat in her window but also had the benefit of preventing any acquaintances outside of the car from seeing her in her infantile state within, Jackie's family was on the road. The monotony quickly set in for Jackie. Her mother had played her a CD of lullabies over the car stereo, but given that she had only just woken up from her 11 hours of sleep, she was nowhere near able to sleep yet. About an hour and a half after they got on the road, her mother passed back a bottle to Jackie and told her to drink up. She did as she was told, and it was followed by a second, in keeping with her normal morning routine. Beyond that though, there was virtually nothing for Jackie to do. With her dread setting in, Jackie found herself reflecting on how she came to be in her position. She had never expected to find herself even living at home at this point, not to mention doing so as the family baby. Back in May, Jackie had finished her college career. She had graduated with honors and was looking forward to embarking on an exciting career. However, since she had gone to school several states away, and wanted to get a job closer to home, Jackie hadn't yet begun the process of applying for jobs. She was quite unworried though. She knew that she had solid credentials and her parents had agreed to allow her to live at home until she had landed a job, which Jackie expected would take no more than a month or so. Jackie had no idea that her parents had other plans for her. As an only child, they had always thought that she had grown up too fast. Beyond that, though, they had grown increasingly disappointed in her behavior throughout college. Unlike her parents, who were both very successful lawyers, Jackie had no interest in the law. This had been a source of tension with her parents. They were also disappointed with her inability to make lasting friends at college. She had been unable to even tolerate any of her roommates at school. While her parents had been supportive over the phone, it was clear to them that Jackie was the source of conflict in each case and they were unable to gently persuade her that she should change her ways. When Jackie had returned home, they had told her all of this, and concluded that Jackie was essentially an arrogant brat. In fairness to Jackie, this wasn't totally true. Jackie wasn't mean spirited, by any stretch of the imagination. She was difficult to get along with, but part of that was just that she was difficult to communicate with because she was something of a loner as a result of being an only child. She didn't consider herself to be arrogant. Instead, she considered herself to be smart enough that she always knew what was best. Still, Jackie was never allowed a rebuttal to her parents' criticisms. They told her that they wanted the perfect little angel back that they had once had, and that they were going to get it. Within an hour of Jackie's return to her house, she was led up to her old bedroom, which had been thoroughly converted into a nursery in her size. Jackie soon found herself strapped onto the changing table, sobbing and wearing a diaper. Her mother and father explained to her that life would be very different from the one she had left. At its core, she was to live as a baby of approximately one year old, with all the trappings that came with it. Diapers were to be used, baby clothes to be worn and baby food to be eaten, plus all of the other indignities that were to become part of her daily life. Most shocking to Jackie, her mother would be retiring from her job to become a stay-at-home mom to her baby. When she was able to think rationally about it, Jackie had realized how serious her parents were. They had spent a lot of money to acquire all of the custom-made items that Jackie's new life would require. Her mother had left her job as well. While her family could easily afford both of these measures, they indicated that her parents intended to keep her as a baby for an extended period of time. This, as much as the news itself, came to be what bothered her the most. The uncertainty of when, if ever, she would be allowed to grow up made Jackie feel extremely uneasy and made it hard for her to stay positive. She desperately wished to be allowed to grow up one day, but was often afraid that it would never happen. Within the first few days, Jackie began to get the hang of her new life. Two things immediately stuck out at her. The first was that being treated as a baby was extremely humiliating. Feedings, changes, baths, outfits and bedtimes all made her blush furiously and, at first, often reduced her to tears or petulant fits. The second thing that she realized was just how boring being a baby was. Jackie spent hour after hour in her playpen, sometimes without even seeing her mother for more than an hour at a time. She was sometimes allowed to watch a lone episode children's television, but even then the most mature shows she was allowed to watch were taped episodes of Teletubbies, which was infinitely below her years and totally boring to her. When the television was off, only a few dolls and blocks were available to her, none of which really provided her any entertainment, even when her mother took them in her hands and played with them in front of Jackie's face while assigning them annoying, babyish voices. In the beginning, Jackie had fiercely resisted her role as the family baby. This didn't last long, however. Every time that she acted out, her parents found a way to punish her. The punishments were truly unbearable. Her parents never spanked her, except for a light swat on the outside of a diaper to correct the most minor of offenses. In truth, Jackie would probably have preferred to be spanked. Her parents instead gave her punishments designed to increase her boredom. Sometimes she was given extended naps or much earlier bedtimes. Early in her new life, Jackie had once found herself in her crib for the night at three thirty in the afternoon, which meant that she had been forced to lie there for 16 mind-numbing hours. That punishment was even worse then, because Jackie had not yet been able to adjust her sleep schedule and hadn't managed to fall asleep until close to 10 o'clock, more than six hours since she had first been put down for the night. Another hated punishment was a seemingly simple timeout. At first, Jackie had been forced to sit on a low stool during timeouts while facing the corner. However, her parents found that unless they sat there for the duration of her timeout, which for Jackie was normally at least 30 minutes and sometimes much, much longer, Jackie would simply try to get up in an act of further rebellion. They quickly put a stop to this by buying what Jackie considered to be the most horrible invention of all time. It was a baby bouncer that hung from the ceiling, but it was designed for adult-sized babies. During time outs, Jackie now found herself suspended from the ceiling for up to several hours at a time, with literally nothing to do and nowhere to go. Her first trip to the bouncer, which had lasted 90 minutes, left Jackie sobbing for more than an hour and vowing to herself that she would be good from now on. That had not happened, of course, but her obedience had improved significantly from that moment forward. Looking back, it seemed to Jackie that she had settled into her life as a baby with an alarming speed. Within little more than two weeks, she had basically accepted her new life and grown accustomed to it. She realized that much of this owed to the fact that, for the most part, she ran on a simple daily routine of meals, bottle feedings, play time, and bed times, with little that ever interrupted it. This made Jackie somewhat numb to the ordeal that she was going through and sped up the process of accepting it. About the only time Jackie's day ever changed was when she had a “play date.” She had had four thus far, all with the same girl. That girl, Stephanie, was two years older than Jackie, and had been being treated like a baby by her parents for over four years. Jackie could never figure out how her parents had ever discovered such a playmate for her, as she had never met Stephanie and lived almost an hour away from her. Jackie had twice been to Stephanie's house, and twice Stephanie had visited hers'. Each time had been incredibly awkward for the two girls. They were expected to kiss each other fully on the lips as a way of greeting each other, and then Jackie had to endure a round of kisses from Stephanie's nanny (a babysitter only slightly older than the two babies actually were who Stephanie's parents had hired to watch over their oversized bundle of joy while they were at work) while Stephanie was similarly doted on by Jackie's mother. After that, the two were expected to play with each other while sharing a playpen. This often proved to be incredibly frustrating, however, as while it was the rare time that either of them was encouraged to speak (at least while providing voices for their dolls), neither of them could really say anything intelligible from behind their oversized pacifiers, which they were still forced to suck even as they played. The result was that the girls had to endure a few awkward hours of babbling at each other before being fed lunch. After that, they would inevitably find themselves cuddling in a crib where they were to remain absolutely silent and take a nap, each all too aware of the presence of another in a bed that was normally the site of solitary confinement. After nap time, the play date would always end with another round of humiliatingly mushy kisses and then a long trip back home in a tight car seat for whichever girl was visiting on that day. Though Jackie didn't mind the idea of a change in routine in theory, in practice she always found it exhausting and couldn't wait until it was over. Jackie had been absentmindedly reminiscing for over an hour when she was interrupted by the car slowing down and entering into a small roadside picnic area that also included restrooms. She realized that if her parents had talked over the decision in the front seat, she had totally missed it. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was just past noon, and Jackie surmised that it may be lunchtime. She hadn't really even thought of how that would work. All of Jackie's consternation had been reserved for the specter of a diaper change on the road. Quickly though, she realized that despite her diaper that seemed to be nowhere near the point where she would be changed, this too would be quite an ordeal. Fortunately for Jackie, only a few cars seemed to have chosen this secluded rest stop for their break on the road. Her parents each took a turn visiting the restroom, while the other babbled nonsense to Jackie, asking her if she knew how cute she was and whether she was ready to eat a yummy lunch. Although the answer to the latter question was a resounding “no” in Jackie's head, she soon saw her mother preparing a picnic table on the far end of the rest stop from her vantage point in the car seat. Before long, both parents were out of the car and rummaging in the trunk. After what seemed like a surprisingly long time, Jackie's father opened the back door of the car and unbuckled his oversized toddler. As he slid Jackie out of the seat and moved her towards the door, she began to realize what had taken so long. Jackie was surprised to see an adult-sized stroller waiting for her on the ground. This was another item making its debut on the trip. Before she had even finished processing the device, Jackie was seated inside of it. The canopy top may have protected her from the sun somewhat, but it felt to her like it couldn't have done less to conceal its occupant from any outside gazes. To her relief, none of the few other people seemed to pay any attention to their party at all, and her disgraceful new ride was, at least for now, kept as her little secret. Jackie was pushed over to the secluded picnic table that her mother had chosen, and the stroller was situated so that it was facing the end of one of the benches. Within seconds a totally nondescript bib had been fastened around Jackie's neck, and she realized that she was about to be fed while still in her stroller. “This will be interesting,” thought Jackie, noting that the stroller had her facing upwards in an effort to keep her low to the ground without forcing her to drag her feet. Indeed, it was interesting. In addition to being a cold feed, since her mother was unable to heat up the disgusting blend of beef and vegetables baby food as she normally would have at home, the angle seemed to throw off the coordination of mommy and baby, resulting in an even more messy face than Jackie was accustomed to. Other than that though, the feed was pleasant enough, and Jackie ultimately suffered no more indignity outside than she would have had she been inside, though the worry that she would kept her constantly on edge. Only after she had finished the bottle that her mother held with one hand while eating a sandwich with the other did Jackie's anxiety truly begin to subside. Her parents finished their food, and soon Jackie had been cleaned up and pushed back to the car. After a quick diaper check confirmed that she had a few hours of safety left, Jackie was returned to her car seat and her parents began to reload the car for the next leg of the journey. As the car rejoined the light traffic on the freeway, Jackie was reminded by her mommy that it was nap time and that she should go to sleep. In reality, Jackie needed no reminder. She resented the naps, especially since she also spent about 11 hours in bed each night, but Jackie had also learned to sleep during them. Like a baby, Jackie now truly needed to nap during the day, or else she wouldn't make it all the way through the night. With the relatively happy thoughts of her embarrassment-free lunch still in her head, Jackie quickly drifted into a docile sleep. A little over an hour and a half later, Jackie was lightly stirred by her mother, who had reached an arm back from the back seat. As Jackie groggily rubbed her eyes, her mother said “Wakey-Wakey, beautiful. Mommy doesn't want you to sleep too long and ruin your night time sleep.” Just a moment later, Jackie was passed a bottle to drink. Normally she would have had that bottle in her crib while her mother cuddled her and woke her up, but this was obviously impossible in the car. Instead, Jackie fed herself the dreadful formula and wished there was a way to be able to avoid just such a thing. Traffic seemed to still be moving well enough, and Jackie saw that it was about 2:15 on the car clock. She couldn't figure out where they were based on road signs because of the screen on the window, but Jackie guessed that they must be making good time. Jackie wasn't really sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It was only a few minutes after her bottle that her father pulled the car off into a rest area. Jackie wasn't totally sure what the reason could be for this stop. When she realized that this was simply a parking area and that there weren't any restrooms here for her parents to use, she was even more confused. Her mother got out of the car and went into the trunk, but was only there for a second. Before Jackie could figure out where she had gone, the door nearest to her seat was opened and her father began to get her out of the car. “What's going on?” thought Jackie, still a little groggy from sleep. This time, as she was helped down, Jackie saw that there was no stroller for her to be placed in, which she considered a mercy, even though the parking area was completely deserted and she was unlikely to be seen by anyone but the motorists passing several hundred feet away on the highway. Just two steps around the car made Jackie forget her sense of comfort, and if it hadn't been for her dad's suddenly tight grip on her hand and her wobbly, unused legs, Jackie might have tried to run back around to the other side of the car. Her mother was standing at a nearby picnic table, and laid out on the table was her changing mat, along with a fresh diaper and all the supplies needed to change Jackie into it. Jackie's dad practically dragged her the remaining few steps to the table, and a quick warning spank was needed before she could be boosted up onto the table. The idea of an outdoor change, even in this relatively anonymous location, had Jackie petrified, and she found herself in tears for the second time that day. Both of her parents were cooing at her, but it was her mother that she heard clearly. “Now, now, baby, its time for our little princess to have her diaper changed. We don't want you to get a leak and ruin your pretty clothes and make your car seat all wet, do we?” Though Jackie was used to being changed, the process was particularly horrible this time. Soon, the snaps on each of her layers of clothing had been unbuckled. With the diaper now on display, Jackie was a wreck, barely even able to see out of her sobbing eyes. When that diaper was opened and Jackie was exposed to the open air, she froze. Her focus was on the road, and the entrance into the parking area. Jackie lost all perspective, and as her mother wiped the excess urine off of her diaper area and dropped the wipes into the used diaper, she was certain that every car on the road could not only see her, but could tell that she was far too old to be in need of a diaper change from her mother on the side of the road. The change itself was actually quite efficient, but to Jackie, it took an eternity. Her mother's thorough powdering was taking forever in her eyes, and even after she was mercifully taped back in to another thick disposable (an experience she never thought she would consider merciful), she wished her mother would hurry up and button her back in to the comparatively less embarrassing baby clothes. Finally, Jackie was boosted up off of the table. Her mother escorted her back to the car, while her father disposed of the sodden diaper and gathered up the supplies and returned them to her diaper bag. Less than ten minutes after they had entered the rest area, they were back on the road. As they re-entered the highway, Jackie felt herself let out a small, involuntary stream of urine, and silently cursed herself for being unable to enjoy the luxury of a dry seat for even a few minutes. The afternoon portion of the ride soon proved to be the most monotonous for Jackie. She would have liked to have had at least a stupid baby toy to play with in the back of the car, but all she could do was stare at the back of her mother's seat, as the screen that shielded her eyes from the sun also served to prevent her from being able to even so much as stare out the window. At this point, Jackie's mind was filled with nothing but dread. She had been to one family reunion several years prior, and if this was to be anything like that experience, she worried about what to expect. Given that they were on their way to Maine, she was almost sure that they would be visiting with her father's side of the family, who almost all hailed from that state. She vividly remembered that, at the last reunion, she had been the youngest person there at age twelve. This owed to the fact that her father was about five years younger than each of his siblings and cousins. All of them had had children a little earlier than her parents had had Jackie, as well, so the result was that all of the other youths at that reunion had been at least in their mid-teens. Jackie wondered if they would all be in attendance now, in their mid-twenties, or if they would be off living lives of their own. She also couldn't help but fear that she would be viciously made fun of by those closest to her own actual age, as they would see her as a weak excuse for an adult who was entirely worthy of their mockery. All of this dread made the time pass very slowly. The two bottles that she was given in quick succession around three o'clock didn't really help time pass any slower, though they did remind Jackie just how much she hated baby formula. She found herself praying for a distraction. Perhaps if Jackie had thought about who might hear those prayers, she would have thought twice about making them. If anybody was watching over her very closely, it seemed to her that they had a sick sense of humor to allow her to be converted so thoroughly into the infantile creature she had become. The distraction she was sent confirmed that the joke really was on her. Only a few minutes after Jackie finished the second of her bottles and once again was commanded to begin sucking on the giant nipple of the pacifier dangling from her shirt, a familiar and dreaded pressure took hold in Jackie's abdomen. Immediately, she knew that she was in deep trouble. “I can't! Not here, in this tiny little car seat! I have to hold it!” she thought. Even as she thought it though, Jackie knew that it was basically no use. She knew that at this point, by the time she knew that she had a problem, she didn't have much time left. Unlike her bladder, Jackie still retained a semblance of control over her bowels. However, had she been allowed to not use her diaper, she imagined that her level of control would be similar to that of a beginning potty-trainer, who needed to be rushed to the bathroom as soon as they asked in order to prevent an accident. In the desperate fight against time, time won. Within about ten minutes of increasingly agonizing pressure, Jackie's will to fight broke. She knew, however, that this would be as difficult of a mess as there was, as she was secured tightly to her seat and had no way to shift so that she could raise a leg. Jackie pushed, and hard. When Jackie let out a rather loud, involuntary grunt, the idle conversation between her parents in the front seat ended abruptly. Fortunately for Jackie, she was so focused that she didn't really notice the small chuckles that her beet red face earned. The floodgates took a few moments to open. They finally did so with a pair of short, noisy farts that Jackie was decidedly not too focused to miss. Her embarrassment continued to grow as the quiet sound of several gushes of a soft, mushy mess slid into her diaper. One more push sent a final wave into the seat of her pants, and Jackie's exhausted body relaxed back, sinking her into her own filth. It was obvious that Jackie's parents were well aware what had happened, but they let the moment breathe for a moment. Finally, her mother asked what might have been the most unnecessary question possible. “Did my baby make a stinky in her diapee? Pee-Whew, I think so! Somebody is a smelly baby!” This was practically a routine when Jackie was discovered to have messed herself, but that didn't make it any easier for Jackie to bear. There was still no end to her embarrassment when she found herself declared a stinky baby while sitting in a diaper full of her own poop. A moment later, her father said, “Can you stand it well enough?” “Yes,” her mother said, “if you can. We only just changed her into this diaper an hour and a half ago, and if she hadn't made a mess she could have lasted until Maine. She can wait a little while anyways.” “Sounds good,” her dad answered. “Great,” Jackie thought. “A poopy diaper for as long as they wish, and then the worst change of my life!” As the poop cooled and began to itch, not to mention smell, Jackie thought about just how much she hated messing her diapers. It had most definitely been the hardest part of her terrible new life to accept. She had resisted all pooping for the first three days of her babyhood, and tried to remove her diaper when she finally did need to give in to the urge. She had been caught, and put into locking plastic pants on that occasion, then been forced to take an extended nap in freshly messed diapers before finally being changed. The experience had taught her that she was best off not trying to avoid using her diaper, because she would only wind up wearing her waste for longer. Still, while Jackie had accepted that she would need to mess eventually, at first she had held out for as long as possible before doing the dirty deed. She only messed a few huge messes the first week or two, as she continued to hold on for as long as she could. Slowly, though, that changed. She had become somewhat accustomed to the messes and the humiliating changes that always followed, and she didn't see the need to strain so heavily to keep her urges held back. Additionally, the consistency of her poop had forced her hand somewhat. Her diet, which consisted of literally nothing that needed to be chewed, turned her mess into a far more liquidy beast than it had been during her adult life. Not only did this make her poop start to smell much more like that of a real baby's than that of an adult, but it also made it even harder to hold on for days at a time. Over time, she returned to the one-mess-a-day pattern that she had normally held during her previous life. But even that didn't hold. In part because Jackie made increasingly less of an effort to hold on when she felt the need, she found that almost as often as not she now found herself in a messy diaper twice a day instead of her usual once. She told herself that this was due to the fact that she was fed more food than she had been eating when she had made her own choices, which had an element of truth to it, but much of it had to do with a steady loss of control, which was a fact she denied to herself. Jackie really, really hated “having stinkies,” as her mother often called a messy diaper. She tried to do it when she was alone in a room as often as possible, because the act of pooping herself in front of others was still too much to bear easily. When her mother did discover a mess in her pants, however, she always seemed to suddenly be quite busy. Even when she had, to her great shame, messed during one of her play dates, she had stayed seated in her smelly prison for over a half an hour, and while it had been a little shorter than the average amount of time that she was left to stew before she was cleaned up, she had been mortified, though later she had still felt superior to Stephanie when she had messed herself during naptime and had stunk up the crib to the point that Jackie could hardly sleep. The mess had long since cooled and become itchy by the time Jackie felt the car once again slowing down and pulling into a highway rest area. She had actually been glad the first time they had passed a rest stop, because she had realized that it was one of the ones that had gas stations and food options and was so crowded that she would have been entirely sure to have been seen. But as other, quieter rest areas had passed without a stop, she had become increasingly despondent. She desperately wanted to be changed before they got to the reunion, but it seemed like it was possible that that luxury was not coming. As they pulled into a parking spot in the mostly empty parking lot, however, the knot in Jackie's stomach simply changed purpose. She was still filled with dread, but now it was because she knew she would be changed from a messy diaper in an at least somewhat public setting. She knew that messy changes were not at all like wet changes. They were slow, owing to the way that feces caked all over her diaper area, and required even more time in the humiliatingly-exposed, legs-up position. When Jackie was pulled out of the car, she looked around for the picnic table she would be led to, but never found it. Instead, she was lead around to the tailgate of the SUV and lifted up, leading to one final, disgusting squishing of her mess around her diaper before she was laid back on the changing mat, which had been placed in a small opening in the trunk just big enough for her upper body to fit in. “Change time, princess!” her father announced, as if it were not the most obvious statement in human history. Her mother did the actual changing. Jackie's diaper was soon opened, and the momentous task of wiping her filthy, smelly anus began. Jackie was unsure whether she felt better or worse being unable to see outside the car past her mother. She knew for sure, though, that her legs and some of her bottom were on display out of the back of the car. That made her uncomfortable for sure, but she could allow herself to think that she may have looked a little more like any other baby from this angle. The wiping finally ended, and after a thorough powdering, another diaper was taped up. For the first time that day, Jackie found herself only wearing a daytime diaper. While it was still quite thick and very noticeable under her clothing, it was not even close to how thick the billowing nighttime diapers were. Jackie felt fortunate to know that the first time she met her family at the reunion her diapers would at the very least not make her bottom look almost twice its normal size. As she got out of the trunk and back to her feet, she realized that, from afar, her change had just been watched by an astonished young couple, perhaps a year or two older than her at most, who appeared to have been hiking in the woods before returning to their car. The male cried out “Cute baby! Isn't she a little big though?!” from across the lot. “We've got our hands full!” her mother responded, as her husband buckled a mortified Jackie back into her car seat. “Big baby, big poopies!” Jackie had perhaps never been more embarrassed in her life. Tears came cascading down her face as her parents disposed of the dirty diaper and got into the car. The tears earned Jackie little more than a shushing and bottle of nasty formula, and Jackie wished for all she was worth that the world would open up and swallow her. “Just another hour and a half until we get there baby!” her father explained, making it clear Jackie was supposed to be excited. Jackie looked at the clock, and saw that it was about 5:15. She still didn't know exactly where they were going, but she could now guess that it was very close to her grandparents house. She remembered that when her family had last held a reunion they had rented out a very large house where everyone had stayed. She guessed that this would be the case this time as well. The imminent arrival would give her a much better idea of what to expect, though, and she was particularly in the dark as to how her status as a baby might impact her trip. The final stretch of the ride actually passed a little faster than the rest of the trip had for Jackie, mostly because she was distracted with her thoughts of her latest diaper change. She could not shake the fact that a couple of her approximate age, and especially a fairly attractive young man, had seen her compliantly lie still while her exposed privates were wiped clean of poop. Thinking about the past made her temporarily forget her dread of the future, and Jackie was surprised that they were so near when they got off the highway an hour later. It was still another twenty minutes before they finally arrived, but by then the dread had set back in for Jackie, and she was officially back to wanting to be anywhere else in the world. “We're here, baby!” her mother explained as she removed Jackie from the car seat and, oddly in Jackie's opinion, set her straight down into her new stroller. “Here” turned out to be a very large, lakeside building that had a massive front yard. The stroller started to make a little more sense when Jackie saw that she would be pushed several hundred feet up the hill from where the car was parked to where the house was actually located. “Now, princess,” her father said, bending down to put his face right in hers, “Daddy knows that this is a very exciting weekend for you, but you need to be on your best behavior for Mommy and Daddy or you will be in very big trouble. Is that understood, little girl?” This was one of the questions that Jackie was trained to answer. “Yeth Daddy, me am gonna be a puhfect angel,” she lisped from behind her pacifier, though the promise was nothing more than what she was required to say. The stroller ride took a minute or two. A few feet before the door, Jackie's grandmother and aunt came out to greet them. “Hi!” the two women shouted in unison. “Hey Mom, hey Sally, it’s great to see you!” her dad answered. Hugs were exchanged, and her mother also shared greetings. For just a moment, Jackie thought that she was going to be ignored, but she was not so lucky. Suddenly, from behind her, Aunt Sally emerged, and then she was not only not being ignored, but the center of attention. “Hellll-o Baby Jackie,” she bellowed, no more than three inches from her face. “It's your Auntie Sally! It's so exciting to see you, cutie-pie! We all love you very much!” Then she plopped a loud, wet kiss on Jackie's face. The exercise was repeated by her grandmother, and then her mother reached around and removed her enormous pacifier. “Give nana and auntie a kiss, baby,” her mother instructed. Jackie, of course, was still strapped into the stroller, so she had to wait for each of the women to come to her. When they did, in turn, Jackie pressed her lips against them, and pushed her tongue out while sort of half-shouting “mmmmmm-aah!” as she had been taught to do when ordered to kiss someone. Both women positively squealed at the kiss. “Oh my goodness!” exclaimed her aunt. “She kisses just like a real baby!” “She is a real baby,” her mother responded, “in every way you can imagine. She's our beautiful little bundle of joy.” “I can think of a few ways I'm different than a real baby,” Jackie thought, but even if she had actually wished to offer that opinion, she wouldn't have been able to, because her mother pushed the pacifier back into her mouth. “Let's head inside,” her father said. “We don't want the baby to catch a cold.” Jackie was pushed the last few steps to the house, and then was unbuckled from the stroller. She was lifted up under the shoulders by her dad, took one step up over the threshold, and then, without needing to be told, immediately dropped to her knees. “That's so adorable! Does she always crawl?” asked her grandmother. “Of course, just like any other baby,” her mother responded. “I love how her cute little diapered butt waddles back and forth when she crawls,” her aunt said. “So cute.” Jackie's face was turning beet red, but since she was facing the floor it wasn't totally clear to the others in the room. She wasn't really sure where she was going, so she slowed herself as she reached the end of the entry hallway. “I'll show you to your room so you can get all settled,” said her grandmother. “That would be great, Helen.” her mother responded. “Do you mind watching the baby for a minute while we bring everything in?” “I'd love to! Feel free to run back out to the car if you need to too. I've got the baby. Don't I Jackie? I think I do. I think I do.” Jackie wished the floor would swallow her, but it of course did not. As everyone else left the room, her grandmother crossed over to the sofa and beckoned her to her. Jackie crawled over to her grandmother. A pat on her knee and a pair of hands under the shoulders told Jackie to climb up onto her grandmother's lap. When she sat there, she realized just how close her face was to her grandmother's. The ridiculousness of the situation was driven home when she saw that she was a head taller than her grandmother when sitting on her lap. Even still, any thought of defiance melted away in shame almost instantly when two fingers went probing into the front of her diaper. “Oops,” announced her grandmother. “Somebody has had a little accident.” Jackie just continued to suck on her pacifier. She hated to admit it, but the pacifier had become a source of comfort for her over her second period as a baby. It allowed her an excuse to say nothing (not that she was really allowed to) and made it possible for her to focus on something other than her moments of most extreme humiliation, even if the coping method was admittedly shameful in itself. Still, in times like these when she had nowhere to hide, it somehow made time move a little faster. She endured many kisses and cheek pinches from her grandmother, but before she knew it her mother came into the room and declared themselves ready to give the baby a nice feed before bathtime and bedtime. After a quick crawl to the kitchen, Jackie stood up and prepared to get into the highchair. Only then did she realize that her parents must have ensured that there was a highchair present for her. The knowledge that even while they were away from home her parents were this concerned about such details made Jackie sick. As she climbed in, another aspect of the highchair struck her. It was meant for real babies! Jackie didn't really realize it at first, but her mother had to sort of push her in in order for her diapered hips to squeeze into the seat. The strap had to be loosened all the way to fit her, and the tray could barely reach the locking mechanism, and even then was making Jackie feel like her stomach was much bigger than it truly was. When she was settled, she realized that her toes were very close to reaching the ground, which was never true in her much larger version of baby furniture at home. The feeding was at once no different than any other and as humiliating as any Jackie had ever experienced. She choked down the usual concoction of atrocious baby foods, had the same amount of it spilled down her face, and got all of the usual comments that her mother always made. It was the peanut gallery that made her so dreadfully uncomfortable. The comments about the faces she made when the food hit her tongue, about how messy of a little girl she was, how adorable she looked and how obedient she was that rang out from her aunt and grandmother were all enough to make it quite clear that this was no normal supper that could have happened at home. All through the bottle feeding that followed, during which both her grandmother and her aunt had the opportunity to hold the drink up while Jackie sat helplessly, her father answered all questions and comments as if he were some sort of tour guide for the dinner. All of his answers, of course, seemed designed to emphasize that Jackie was a baby, and that her actions were just like those of any other baby as well. After the fuss of dinner, Jackie was exceedingly grateful for the relative privacy of bathtime. Only she and her mother retreated into a bathroom near the room her parents would be staying in, though Jackie suspected that this privacy was not due with a desire to provide Jackie with modesty as much as it was because the bathroom hardly had room to lay her down and take off her clothes and wet diaper without any other visitors. The bath moved quickly enough, with her mother doing a thorough but efficient job washing Jackie, just as she did every night. As she began to drain the tub, her mother looked down at Jackie, tweaked her pacifier, and told her “I know it's a few minutes earlier than normal, but as soon as you are dressed and everyone has said goodnight, you are going to go to bed, baby. You've had a long day, and you have another exciting adventure ahead of you tomorrow.” If she had expected that Jackie would be upset, Jackie couldn't really understand why. She didn't really know what time it was, but guessed it was really only a few minutes early. Besides, Jackie was indeed emotionally spent and wouldn't mind being able to get away from all of the attention she was facing by retreating to bed. She had just been glad for the second bath that had earlier apparently been in doubt. She was helped out of the tub and onto the changing mat. After being quickly taped into yet another nighttime diaper, the fourth she had worn at some point that day, she was told to get up. Her mother led her out into the hall. To her horror, instead of being lead into whatever room would be serving as her nursery, she was lead back into the kitchen still as naked as the day she was born with the exception of her diaper, although she was certainly a little more self conscious of her breasts than she had been more than two decades earlier during her true infancy. “The pizza is almost here, honey,” her father said. “Has baby Jackie come to say goodnight?” “Yes she has,” her mother answered. “Get up on just your knees, baby. Everyone is going to give you a kiss, and then I'm going to get you ready for beddy-byes.” Reluctantly, Jackie did as she was told. On all fours, at least her boobs had been somewhat concealed. Kneeling like this made them totally exposed, although if anyone besides her noticed in the slightest they did a convincing job hiding it. Soon she was back on her hands and crawling back down the hall once more, having been kissed condescendingly on the top of the head and told that she should rest up for what promised to be an exciting day to come. “Exciting for everyone except me,” Jackie had thought, but she certainly kept that thought to herself. Jackie was a little surprised to be led into her parents' room. She was never allowed into her parents' room at home, and was told that she could only go into rooms that were safe for little girls, which her parents' room apparently was not somehow. She assumed this exception must be because her suitcase was in the room, but when she got in there another surprise awaited. Sitting at the foot of the bed was a small, baby sized portable playpen/crib that Jackie recognized acted as something of a traveling crib for infants. To her mind, it was impossibly small, but she immediately had no doubt where she would be spending the night. She was half lifted, half dragged onto the bed by her mother. There she had a footed sleeper, which seemed too warm to Jackie, put on her. It was quickly followed by what she knew would be the last of her daily bottles of the sickly baby formula, in case there wasn't enough that would already be finding its way into her diaper over the course of the night. After the bottle, it was down from the bed directly into the “safe bed” as her mother decided to call it, as if Jackie needed the clarification between the two to be made. The portable crib was just as tiny as it looked. From the slight wobble it made when she entered it, Jackie could tell it was on wheels. Jackie had no chance of getting comfortable. She lied on her stomach, which was how she was always told to lie, ostensibly so that she wouldn't spit up in her mouth and choke, like other small babies might. Given that this wouldn't be an issue with Jackie, it was just another way to make her seem like a baby. Tonight, with only about three and a half feet of length in her crib instead of the normal six, she had it even worse. With her head all the way at the top of the pillow, she still had to bow her knees all the way out to the side of the crib in order to fit lengthwise, and she was thankful for the soft sides of the crib for a little extra leeway. This position didn't last however. Her mother couldn't get her swaddled in her enormous baby blanket the way she normally did, so she commanded that Jackie get onto her side and into a rather tight fetal position. From there, she was able to provide her normal wrapping job on Jackie. As usual, it was uncomfortably tight. Jackie spent all of her nights essentially unable to move. It was normally a good deal looser by morning, but Jackie was, and no doubt on purpose, essentially unable to move before she fell asleep each night. Tonight, she could tell, would be especially uncomfortable. The position was worsened by the fact that the sleeper was too warm and, combined with the blanket, Jackie figured to be even warmer than she normally was during sleep, which she already considered to be too hot. “Nighty-night, baby Jackie,” her mother said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Mommy and Daddy will be in in a little while to go to bed too, but we will do our best not to wake up our little sleepyhead. Sweet dreams!” Jackie fell asleep quickly, but her dreams were not exactly sweet. She dreamed that she was an adult again, wandering around the reunion as any other family member would. At first, this made it a good dream. But, as she was interacting with cousins, aunts and uncles, she quite suddenly became the focus of attention. Her dream-self looked down and was greeted with the sight of a growing wet spot on the front of her stylish, white shorts. Quickly, the looks turned to taunts and she was told to go find her mommy and called a baby. Jackie awoke with a start. The warmth in her damp diaper told her that the accident in her dream might not have actually been fiction. She was hot, cramped, and unable to move, just as she had been when she had fallen asleep. Jackie knew it was going to be a few moments before she could get back to sleep. The dream had rattled her a bit. It seemed even her subconscious didn't think she could handle being an adult. If she couldn't convince herself, she mused, how could she ever convince her parents that she was ready to be a big girl again? Jackie couldn't tell what time it was, but she sensed that it must be sometime in the dead of night, based upon the total lack of light and the rhythmic breathing she could hear coming from the bed above her. The room was much darker than she was used to, as her nursery at home contained a small nightlight. At first that had driven her crazy, as she didn't really like light while she slept, and she certainly didn't appreciate being told that it was there so she wouldn't be afraid of the dark, but she was now used to it, and she was somewhat surprised by her eyes inability to adjust. Ultimately, both the nightmare and the discomforting lack of light were no match for Jackie's tiredness, and the next thing that she knew she was being woken up to the sound of her mother's morning cooing. She began to unwrap Jackie from the tight blanket as Jackie muttered out her groggy “Good morning, Mommy,” which came as a great relief for Jackie. Once she was freed from the blanket, she was boosted up and onto the bed. Jackie felt tremendously sweaty. As she stretched her legs out, she felt very stiff as well, no doubt a result of her tight sleeping quarters. Jackie had little time to get comfortable, as her mother slid her right back down onto the floor, and in one motion she found herself on all fours. In no time, she was crawling out into the hallway behind her mother. Entering the kitchen, Jackie was greeted with the hellos of her father, aunt and grandmother. She lisped out “hewwo ewybawdy” from behind her pacifier in response, which seemed to to satisfy everyone. Soon Jackie was lifted up into the highchair and the tray was stuffed into the locking mechanism tight against Jackie's chest. The microwave was soon at work heating her oatmeal. Her aunt brought over a bib, and after a quick kiss on the top of the head, moved around Jackie's back and fastened it around her neck. Her aunt crossed the kitchen and removed the oatmeal from the microwave. She grabbed Jackie's baby spoon and moved back over to the highchair. Jackie quickly realized that it wouldn't be her mother who would be feeding her this morning. “Open up for the airplane!” her aunt commanded, which Jackie was already obediently doing. The feeding was really quite like normal. Her aunt made sure she ate it all, except for the portion that she made sure wound up on Jackie's face and bib. She kept the food coming at a relatively quick rate, and continued to keep up a constant chatter of coos about Jackie's status as a baby. Despite all of the ways that the feeding was similar to what it would have been like had it been her mother, the fact that it was not kept Jackie squirming with humiliation throughout the ordeal. Finally, she reached the end of the bowl of mush. Two bottles were quickly brought over, and Jackie got another kiss on the forehead from her aunt as she tipped back her neck and pushed the nipple into her still-messy mouth. As Jackie began to suck, her father made the announcement she had been dreading. “Looks like Bill and Sarah are here!” he said. Bill was his brother, making him Jackie's uncle and his wife Sarah her aunt. Jackie had always particularly liked Aunt Sarah, and really didn't want to be seen by her like this. Her instincts told her to try to wriggle away from the bottle, even though she was strapped in the highchair and didn't really have anywhere to go, but her aunt was ready for her anyway. She held the bottle tight and put her spare hand on the back of Jackie's head, keeping her in the humiliating suckling position, and quietly said “Don't worry baby, you just drink your milk. Uncle Bill and Auntie Sarah will be here in a minute and you can see them then.” Trapped, Jackie did as she was told. The rest of the family started to move outside to greet her aunt and uncle. Jackie was just starting her second bottle when everybody came in. “Oh there she is!” her aunt exclaimed. “You're so cute! I'm your Auntie Sarah, Baby!” Sarah planted a kiss on Jackie's head, and Jackie wanted to melt at the way her aunt acted as if she was a newborn that she was meeting for the first time. It only got worse when Sarah's next comment, which was directed at her mother and seemed to assume that Jackie was too little to understand, reminded her that her face was still a mess from her oatmeal. With little other choice, Jackie, slurped down the rest of her formula. The commotion meant that it was actually another minute or two after she finished before her Aunt Sally realized that she had finished. She set the bottle on the tray of the highchair and used the clean spots of Jackie's bib to wipe the loose oatmeal off of Jackie's face. She removed the bib and brought it, along with the dishes, over to the sink. Her mother took over, using a baby wipe to thoroughly clean the stickiness off of her face and then removed the tray from the chair. She unbuckled her daughter and helped her down to the floor. As Jackie dropped to her knees, her mother told her “I have the most wonderful new dress for you to wear today for when you meet them! Let's go get you out of your diapee and make you look like a pretty little angel!” “Perfect,” thought Jackie. “I can't wait to look like an angel when I meet everyone.” She didn't say that out loud, of course, as she wasn't expected to say anything and certainly wasn't allowed to let fly with such sarcasm. Instead she obediently began crawling down the hall and back to the room she had shared with her parents the night before. Once she reached the room, her mother motioned for her to move towards the bed, giving her a boost when she got there to help her up. Jackie lied there while her mother rustled in a bag below the bed. She soon returned to view, and Jackie saw that she had in her hands wipes, powder, a diaper, and a changing pad. She put the changing pad and supplies down next to Jackie and helped her sit back up on the bed. Her mother took off her footed sleeper and set it aside, leaving Jackie in just her diaper as she was guided onto the changing pad. It wasn't long before the diaper was gone as well, and Jackie was soon being wiped and powdered by her mother, who then expertly diapered her once more before returning to the suitcase below the bed. Jackie scarcely had time to reflect on how she was simply lying on the bed and waiting to be humiliatingly dressed for her humiliating day before her mother returned, holding an armful of clothes that Jackie knew were destined to wind up on her. The clothes were put down above her head so she couldn't see them, and she had to wait for them to be put on to catch a glimpse. “You're going to look so adorable, little one!” her mother commented as she brought the first item to the foot of the bed. It was a simple pair of white tights, which were quickly slid up Jackie's legs and stretched over her diaper. Next came a pair of frilly panties that went over the tights and settled over the diaper. The panties themselves were white, but both the front and back featured layers of blue, lacy frills that rendered most of the white invisible. The tights were followed with the main attraction: a blue dress that clearly had been made to match the panties. Her mother sat her up, and the dress was pulled down over Jackie's head, and she had an opportunity to take in the dress for the first time. It had white shoulder panels that gathered to an elastic only a few inches into the sleeve, creating a distinct, babyish puff. It hugged her upper torso somewhat tightly, but fell away off her chest in baby-doll style. But, Jackie noticed, it didn't fall far. Sitting still and straight upright, it still barely came to her waistline. Jackie was sure that all of the frills on her panties would be on display even when she was at her most modest, and knew that even those frills would do nothing to hide the bulge of the thirsty diaper that was concealed underneath them. Jackie could feel her mother pull her hair into a ponytail behind her, which was surprising, given that she normally found herself wearing pigtails to accentuate her childish status. But before Jackie had had much time to wonder what the ponytail meant, she got her answer. She felt something pulled over her head, and then her mother was tying a bow underneath her chin. Jackie could see above her a blue brim turning into white lace, and knew she had just been tied into an oversized bonnet that not only made her look even more ridiculous than she already did, but also served to limit her peripheral vision somewhat and make her feel even more useless than usual. Still, her outfit wasn't quite complete. Her mother added a pair of frilly socks that went over her tights and came up to her ankles, and added a pair of black Mary Jane shoes that fastened with a buckle. “You look so precious!” her mother exclaimed. Jackie thought she probably looked stupid, but kept that opinion to herself. “Oh, one more thing.” her mother added. She rustled around in the bag on the floor for another second, and returned with a blue pacifier, which she quickly swapped with the pink one that Jackie normally sucked. It was identical to the other except for color, but the coordination was just another level of humiliation for Jackie. “Perfect!” her mother almost shouted. “Let's go out and show everyone how pretty you look!” Jackie was led out into the kitchen again, where her family did indeed find her to be just as cute as her mother. The compliments poured in from all over, but Jackie didn't find any of them particularly flattering. All of them commented on how little she looked, and many also made note of just how much of her diapers could be seen. The limited vision that she had because of the bonnet helped Jackie to keep her eyes focused squarely on the floor that she was crouched upon. Mercifully, she wasn't forced to remain at everyone's feet in the kitchen for too long. After a minute or two, her father came into the kitchen, although Jackie hadn't even noticed that he hadn't been there until she saw him returning. He motioned to her, and said “I put your playpen out in the living room. Why don't you come play with your toys.” She crawled after him. She wasn't really sure where the living room was, but she was sure that she didn't care, because it couldn't be worse than the kitchen had been for her. She turned down a different hallway in the large house and came out into what was a quite large room. It had several open doorways that led to bedrooms, and also had a sliding door leading to a large deck and the backyard. Inside the room was an enormous couch that looked like it could seat a dozen people. Sure enough, her father had set up her playpen on the side of the couch. She crawled over to it, and was helped to her feet by her father. He put his hand on her diapered bottom and boosted her up and over the railing and into the playpen. Inside the playpen, Jackie found three stuffed cloth blocks, a rattle, and a doll in place of the blanket and pillow that had been in there when it had served as her crib the night before. Her father bent over and kissed Jackie on her head. He then demonstratively turned on a baby monitor, reminding Jackie to be a good baby and assuring her that they would bring everyone in to meet her when they arrived for the reunion. Jackie had hoped that they might somehow forget, but had already guessed that she would not be so lucky. After her father left, Jackie looked for a way to entertain herself. These toys were the same ones that she often found herself with for hours at a time at home. She had decidedly not yet found a way to entertain herself with them, however. The toys were simply not entertaining for someone of her maturity, no matter how much she sought that entertainment. She still made sure to always have a toy in her hands when she was told to play. If she was ever found without one, her mother invariably decided that Jackie must want to do something other than play. At home, this meant that she would either be put in her bouncer, put down in her crib for an extended or extra nap, or forced to play some sort of horribly embarrassing baby game like peek-a-boo or horsey rides with her mother for an extended period of time. Jackie had decided that each of these options was either more boring or more embarrassing than playing with the mind numbing toys in her playpen, so she was always careful to keep up her activity rate. Right now she found herself shaking her rattle a little bit, until she remembered that that would be heard by everyone in the kitchen over the baby monitor and decided that instead she would play with her doll. Her solitary confinement ended before she had completely grown bored of the moment. She was moving the doll across her face when her father came back into the room with a pair of relatives she didn't remember having ever met. Apparently they were his cousin, Cindy, and her husband, Harry. It was unclear if she had met them at the last reunion, because she was introduced to them as if she were a baby that had not even been alive at the time of the last reunion. Like everyone else, Cindy and Harry cooed over Jackie as if she were any other little baby. In fact, Jackie was somewhat curious how not even one family member had seemed surprised to be introduced to a baby who was clearly in her twenties. Everyone seemed to simply take her babyhood in stride and act as if it was totally normal to see babies that were over 5 feet tall and weighed comfortably more than 120 pounds. Soon Cindy and Harry moved on, and Jackie was once again left alone with her toys in the living room. The interruptions began to come much more quickly, though, and Jackie realized that the majority of the relatives that were coming must be starting to arrive. Eventually, her mother came in with a few other women who were at the party. She was carrying a pair of bottles and a bib. “Baby must be hungry! We've come to feed you!” she said. She quickly helped Jackie out of the crib, guided her the one step to the couch, and sat her down across her lap. She was quickly fitted with a bib, and another round of cooing ensued as the bottle of sickly formula was pushed between Jackie's lips. The women eventually started up more normal conversations, and for a moment Jackie faded out of the spotlight as she sucked down her morning snack. However, that peace ended rather quickly when another set of new guests came in to meet the “baby.” Immediately, Jackie could tell this experience would be different. She recognized two of the people who walked into the room. One was her cousin, Melissa, who was Sarah's daughter, and the other was Michael, who had been her fiancee when they'd last seen each other. But Jackie knew that her cousin, who was three years older than her, had since gotten married to Michael, and so they were now husband and wife. What she hadn't realized, however, was that the young couple had had a baby. Even as she was still being fed, Jackie was introduced to baby Kendra. Kendra, it turned out, was 13 months old. She was being carried now, but her mother bragged that she was now quite an accomplished walker. As Jackie gazed at her, she came to an awful realization. She was wearing the same exact outfit as Kendra! It was too much for her, and she began to quietly sob when her aunt Sarah, Kendra's grandmother, started cooing at how adorable it was that the girls were dressed as twins, which Jackie could tell must have been coordinated. In all of the months since she had been forced back into infancy, she had never felt more like a baby than she did at this moment. The comments did not end as quickly as they had earlier, and Jackie was still feeling like her embarrassment was the center of attention when she finished her second bottle. Her mother made a big show of checking her diaper, declaring her wet but not yet in need of a change, and finally moved her back into the playpen. The party was gradually moving away from the kitchen and out towards the living room, so Jackie was not granted her wish to be left alone. After a few minutes sitting in the playpen absentmindedly holding her doll, Jackie's plight was once again called into focus when Melissa said to Jackie's mother “Would you mind if I let Kendra play with Jackie for a little while? She's getting heavy and I keep seeing her looking over Jackie's way.” “Of course not!” her mother said. “I'm sure Jackie would love to play with Kendra.” Kendra was quickly lowered into the playpen next to Jackie, though there wasn't that much room given that the enclosure was normally meant for one actual baby, and it instead now housed a normal baby and an adult-sized one. The two looked at each other, with Kendra seeming to spend extra time trying to determine what to make of the big girl who looked so much like her. “Can you say hi, Kendra?” Melissa asked. Apparently saying hi for Kendra was a simple wave, which elicited a round of awws from the assembled crowd. Jackie's mother then repeated the question, asking “Can you wave hi back, Jackie?” That prompted Jackie to give back a similarly shy wave, which elicited another round of awws and earned her a “Good girl” from her mother. Melissa added several toys to the playpen, a couple of which Kendra quickly moved to grab. Jackie couldn't help but notice that the smaller child's toys were actually much more complex than the ones that she was normally given to play with. The girls didn't really play with each other as much as they played in the same space, or, even more accurately, Kendra played and Jackie sat miserably with a toy in her hand in the same space. Kendra could not talk or really communicate, and Jackie was not really allowed to, and wouldn't have wanted to either. They were in the playpen for well over an hour when the monotony was broken up when Kendra began to cry quite suddenly. Jackie was surprised, as she didn't really know what had happened. Melissa, however, seemed to have a better idea. She quickly came over and immediately checked her daughter's diaper, and determined that her wetness was the reason for the fussing. She pulled Kendra out of the playpen and took her into a bedroom for a change. Jackie wished that all she had to do to get out of a wet diaper was make her mother aware, as her cold, wet loins were starting to get uncomfortable, but she also felt like now was not a time when she needed people thinking about the state of her diapers any more than they might already be. Jackie feared that she was about to be subjected to a diaper check when her mother walked over to the playpen just after Melissa and Kendra had left. However, her mother instead announced “Lunch time for babykins!” She helped Jackie out of the playpen. Now the subject of several gazes in the crowded living room, Jackie dropped to her knees and crawled after her mother into the kitchen. The kitchen still had a sizable crowd, many of whom were munching on tasty looking appetizers. Jackie, however, was led straight to the highchair in the corner of the room, and boosted up into it. Her mother quickly strapped her into the extremely small article of children's furniture and put the tray onto the front. She began heating a few jars of baby food in the microwave. While it was heating, she brought over a bib. This one was yellow, and across the front it read “Mommy's Little Stinker,” which was one of Jackie's least favorite bibs. Soon the food was ready. It came over steaming in a plastic bowl, and as usual, the mush looked and smelled terribly unappetizing. A small crowd formed to watch the feeding. There were many comments about how babyish Jackie looked and how well behaved she was, a few chuckles at the face she made when the disgusting food first hit her tongue. As usual, her face ended up quite messy. Just as she was finishing, Kendra waddled into the room, which her mother following closely behind her and holding her hand. “Uh-oh,” said Jackie's mother. “Looks like somebody needs your seat, Baby Jackie. Let's get you down, we'll give you some milk in the other room.” Her mouth was quickly wiped, but the humiliating and messy bib stayed around her neck. She quickly got down on her knees when the tray was removed, and within seconds she had essentially swapped places with the tot, with the only difference being that she had to crawl where Kendra had walked. She began crawling out to the living room, with her mother following with a pair of bottles in her hands. She was boosted back onto the couch, and endured another round of sickly sweet formula. By the time she finished the second bottle, Kendra was coming back into the room. Jackie noted that her feeding had taken much less time than her own, but realized quickly that she probably ate a lot more than her much smaller counterpart had. “Should we set up both playpens in the other room for naptime?” Melissa asked. “I think that would be great. Is it all ready to be used as a nursery?” Jackie's mother answered. “I think so,” said Melissa. “It's got good shades, and nothing in there but the babies' things. Should be a perfect room for them for tonight too.” Jackie hated being talked about as one of the babies by her cousin. It was impossible to ignore that they were quite close to each other in age, and had socialized as equals the last time that they had seen each other. Having her now treat her as an equal to her baby daughter was really difficult for Jackie. Her mother instructed her to follow Melissa and Kendra into the room while she pushed the playpen that was into the living room into the bedroom behind the rest of the group. Once inside, the toys were taken out of the playpen and placed on the full sized bed that would not be used. While Melissa got Kendra into her own portable playpen, Jackie's mother checked her diaper. She decided that while she was definitely wet, she'd be able to make it through naptime without any leaks. She said to Jackie, “I don't want you to ruin your dress, so I'm going to take it off for naptime, ok baby?” Jackie, of course, didn't have a choice, but sat still as her mother took off her dress and her little shoes. She felt ridiculous in her remaining ensemble of a bonnet, tights, ruffled panties, and ankle socks. She was also very self conscious of her breasts, which were on display in front of her cousin. That fear was barely founded, however, as she was soon being wrapped tightly into her blanket in the playpen, essentially trapping her again but once more providing her with some modesty as well. As the two women worked to put their babies down for their naps, they began to talk about the difficulties of their babies, with Jackie's mother hinting at some of the ways in which Jackie's size made her unique. Eventually she confessed to Melissa, “Actually, I'm quite glad that Jackie is going to be in here with Kendra tonight. She slept in our room last night, and it stopped my husband and I from being able to do anything at all. It's not that we couldn't, I guess, because she is just a baby and she wouldn't understand, but we didn't want to wake her up even though we wanted to have some fun because we might have never been able to get her back to sleep.” “I didn't need to hear that about my aunt and uncle, but I know what you mean,” Melissa responded with a laugh. “Michael and I were so glad when Melissa started to be able to sleep in her own room so that we could get back to having our fun. Every time we had tried before, we had always woken her up and it was a nightmare. Plus it was a total mood killer!” Jackie was mortified. If Melissa hadn't wanted to here about her aunt and uncle's sex life, Jackie was even less interested in hearing about it, given that they were her parents. Beyond that, her mother's words represented yet another new way that she was being called a baby. Her mother had implied that she could be in the room while other people were having sex and she wouldn't even be mature enough to understand the adult action that was going on. One of the things that Jackie missed most about her maturity was the opportunity to have at least a bit of a sex life. When she had been an adult, she hadn't really had a tremendous amount of success with men, but she had recently had her first serious boyfriend. She hadn't “gone all the way,” but she had had her first sexual experiences with a man, and had hoped that she would soon be taking the final step when he had decided that they should break off their relationship. Rather than leave her with a sour taste, the relationship had served to awaken Jackie to her sexuality. She had become increasingly interested in finding another man, and in the meantime had even ventured online to find herself a few toys to explore herself with on her own. That awakening had abruptly ended when her parents had changed her into a baby. While her desires hadn't entirely subsided, her ability had. Jackie was never alone in a position to pleasure herself, as the only times that she was out of sight and behind a closed door were when she was tightly wrapped up in her crib for a nap or for the night. Even if she had been sure that she could get enough flexibility, she was stopped by the fact that she was constantly on the baby monitor. While she could perhaps stay somewhat quiet, she doubted that a careful listener wouldn't know what was happening. Furthermore, even without those obstacles, Jackie had another issue to contend with. She simply had no desire to put her hands into her diapers. They were almost always wet, and there was really little that made her feel less sexy than the moments when she realized that her sex was encased with a used diaper. All of her sexual frustration had meant that she had now gone months without achieving anything close to an orgasm, a fact which often had her somewhat depressed when she thought about it. Now, the dismissal of her as someone capable of any sort of sexuality seemed to hit her especially hard, in part because she knew that it was functionally closer to true than she wished to admit. It was just a moment more before Jackie was kissed on the head by her mother. “Sleep well, baby girl,” she said. “I'll come get you when it is time to get up from your nap.” Jackie was then surprised when Melissa bent down and gave her a kiss as well. She made sure to flick on the nightlight on her way out, and shut the door, leaving Jackie to slowly drift off to her nap. She was awoken by the sound of Melissa's voice, who was softly saying to her mother “Wow, Kendra is still asleep. She must have been worn out by the excitement. Normally she only naps for an hour or so. I guess I should get her up so that we don't ruin her night's sleep.” “Looks like my sleepyhead is already waking up.” her mother replied. “Are you ready to go back to the party?” she asked, turning her attention to her daughter. “I think you probably need a diaper change before we do that though.” Jackie might have argued that she could have used a change hours ago, but at the same time she was pretty hesitant to be changed in front of her cousin. She wasn't going to have a say in that though. Her mother was already laying out the changing mat on the carpet next to the playpen that Jackie was still crammed into. Kendra had been stirred and Melissa decided that she would need to change her daughter as well, so she began to set up another changing mat next to the one that Jackie's mother had laid down. In the meantime, Jackie had been unwrapped from the tight blankets she had slept in, and her mother got her out of the playpen. She quickly laid down on her back, on the mat. Her mother took down her frilly panties and then worked her tights down off of her legs. Jackie was once again conscious of the fact that she now was on the floor in nothing but a diaper, an embarrassing fact that was compounded when Melissa approached and put her baby down next to Jackie. Just then, her mother opened up Jackie's diaper, leaving her hairless privates and the soaked, yellow inside of her infantile underwear on full display. Her mother was significantly less worried about her nakedness than she was, and, in fact, Melissa seemed to take it in stride as well, simply attending to Kendra's diaper. Jackie was glad of that, but once again embarrassed that she was being treated as if her babyhood was no different than Kendra's was. She laid with her legs up in the air as her mother carefully wiped the urine off of her privates and bottom, and while her legs were up over her mother's head while Kendra's were only at chest height, there was otherwise no difference in their positions and what was happening to them. Eventually the wiping was finished and a new diaper was taped on to replace the old one, which was good because before her tights had even been pulled all the way up her legs she felt a small, warm spurt dribble into the thirsty padding between her legs, reminding Jackie of just how necessary diapers had become for her. Within a few moments Jackie was back to wearing the ridiculously babyish outfit that she had been wearing all day and was sitting between her mother's legs, preparing to be fed the bottle of formula that she had brought into the room with her when she came to wake her up the girls. Melissa began to move one of the playpens into the living room while carrying Kendra out, leaving the room with just Jackie and her mother. In this position, Jackie was just a little shorter than her mother, who pushed the bottle into her mouth and tilted her head back. The position was strange for Jackie, as her head was essentially cradled between her mother's breasts, and she was forced to look up at her mother, who was looking back down at her. Her mother began to coo, saying virtually nothing meaningful, but all the while making Jackie feel as babyish as possible. Finally, the bottle was done and she was released from the strange hold that her mother had kept her pinned in. Without needing to say a word, her mother got up and began to walk out of the room, knowing that Jackie would follow her on her hands and knees. Jackie was surprised to find the living room deserted when they got there, but her mother didn't miss a beat, leading her straight outside and onto the sizable back porch. There was a game of wiffleball in progress and many other family members were chatting over drinks or sitting on some of the several pieces of furniture that were around the lawn and on the porch. On the corner of the deck, positioned in the shadows cast by the house, was the playpen that Melissa had removed from the makeshift nursery, and Jackie saw that Kendra was in there, engrossed in her toys once again. She was led in that direction herself, and within a few seconds had been helped over the railing and was sitting on her diapered behind in the playpen next to what she was pretty sure was her cousin once removed. The boredom resumed almost immediately. She picked up a stray block that was next to her and simply held it, not really bothering to pretend to be amused. There were a few adults seated a few feet away, including her mother and Melissa, but their conversation was far from noteworthy. Jackie watched Kendra, who was intently playing with two dolls. Given that Kendra couldn't talk, it was hard to guess what they were supposed to be doing, even though she was babbling along in gibberish the whole while. A few times she got bored of the dolls, one time hitting Jackie as she threw one away, but otherwise she didn't interact with Jackie at all. Jackie's boredom was complete, and perhaps was made even worse by the presence of others in the area, as she wouldn't allow herself to play with any dolls in front of them, which she sometimes did at home to pass the time, making up stories that were usually about herself breaking out of the terrible rut that she was currently in and returning to a successful adulthood. After what seemed like an eternity but in reality was only about two hours, Jackie's mother got up and said, “I should probably go warm up Jackie's bottles for her afternoon snack. Be right back.” Before she could get more than a step though, Melissa stopped her. “Hang on a second. I'll come with you. I've got to get a bottle for Kendra, and I think I have a proposal that might make both of our lives a little bit easier.” “Sounds good,” her mother replied. “Be a good girl and play nicely with Kendra, Jackie. Mommy will be right back. Remember, listen to anything the grown-ups tell you.” Jackie went back to faking playing for the next several minutes, glad that the monotonous block of playtime would be interrupted with a bottle feeding. While that was sure to be embarrassing, she’d already been publicly fed earlier, and at least this would be something new to do. Plus, it would take up thirty minutes. She figured it was probably around 3:30, so with that half an hour, she was probably only about an hour and a half of playtime from dinner. Normally she would never look forward to that, but today that would mean bath time would be on the horizon before finally, mercifully, bed time would mean that the day was over for her and with it the vast majority of the reunion, provided that everyone left on Sunday morning like they had the last time. Her mother led her niece back out onto the porch. Curiously, Jackie noted, her mother only had one bottle in her hand, but she was sure it was just that Melissa had grabbed two on the way out the door. Her mother walked over to the playpen and bent down, putting her face right into Jackie's. “I am going to feed little Kendra while Auntie Melissa feeds you, ok little one?” she cooed. More quietly, she continued, “If you so much as fuss one bit for Auntie you are going to spend all day in timeout in the bouncer on Monday, understood?” Jackie couldn't imagine what that was all about, but she nodded anyways, making sure that her earnestness showed in her eyes, lest her mother think that she hadn't come up with a threat that got Jackie's undivided attention. She gently picked up Kendra and carried her over to the seat she had been sitting at before she got up. As Jackie watched, she felt Melissa's hands behind her shoulder blades, helping to boost her up and guiding her over the railing onto the porch. Melissa grabbed her hand, a signal to stay standing, and pulled her the few steps over to a large, padded rocking chair for two that hung down off a metal frame. Jackie wasn't looking forward to being fed by her cousin, but would have complied even without her mother's bizarre threat of relatively harsh punishment. Melissa sat down and scooted over to one side of the chair, still holding Jackie's hand as she made herself comfortable. She then patted right next to her legs, and pulled Jackie so that her diaper was positioned just next to her legs. Knowing the drill, Jackie brought her legs up onto the vacant side of the chair, curling them up so that they fit, and placed her torso on Melissa's body. Melissa fastened a bib around Jackie's neck, which was unusual for a bottle feeding, but explained, “We don't want any dribbles on your gorgeous new dress.” Melissa pulled her head closer to Jackie's, but started talking more loudly. “This used to be Kendra's favorite, but now she only seems to like it at night. My body is still really used to it though, and this will be better for you and easier for me than having to pump it out and store it.” Jackie was now starting to get alarmed. Was Melissa talking about what she seemed to be? Panicking, she began to desperately look around for the bottles she surely would be fed. She couldn't find any. She gasped as she saw that Melissa was undoing the buttons on her shirt, confirming that Jackie would not be getting the mundane bottle feeding she had been looking forward to. Her pacifier dropped from her gaping mouth, and she involuntarily let out a small “no, please,” which she didn't even lisp, a mistake she hadn't made since the first week of her second childhood. Immediately, her mother snapped “Jackie Marie! You just earned yourself a day of punishment on Monday and a timeout when you are done being fed! If I hear one more word out of you, it will be a week of punishment, and that will only be the beginning! Say you're sorry to Auntie Melissa and drink up like a good little girl this instant!” Jackie was already sobbing a little, and the snaps had brought some attention beyond the small circle of onlookers in that corner of the deck. Suddenly a large portion of the party seemed aware that the giant baby was in trouble and about to be breastfed. Jackie wanted to run away, but the thought of a week in the bouncer was unbearably awful, and so, crying harder all the while, she meekly lisped “Me sowwy Auntie Mewissa, me was bad gurl.” Melissa gave her a kiss on the top of the head, and then placed one hand behind Jackie's head, with the other on her breast. Jackie wanted nothing in the world less than to drink milk from her cousin's teat, but wasn't foolish enough to think there was any avoiding it anymore. She opened her mouth and, crying even harder now, put her lips around the nipple. “Shh shh shh, that's a good baby. Have some nice milkies and you'll feel all better,” Melissa whispered. Jackie sucked, but could immediately tell that this would be more difficult than a bottle. The nipple was slightly smaller, meaning she needed to use her tongue to help her to latch on properly. Finally, the first wave of milk came, which was perhaps the worst part of the whole experience for Jackie. Mentally, there was no suggesting that she was pretending anymore. Milk was flowing directly from her only slightly older cousin's breast into her mouth, and Jackie was dutifully swallowing it while laying across her lap in what by now was a quite sodden diaper. Even in Jackie's mind, there was no way around the idea that she was now nothing more than an oversized infant who had no other role in the world than to be taken care of. Thinking about it made her cry even more. Slowly, Jackie suckled her way through her humiliating breastfeeding. The milk came out much slower than it came out of bottles, and the result was that just the first breast took Jackie nearly 20 minutes to drain. The milk was far more watery than the sickly formula that she normally drank, and some of it did indeed drip down onto the bib she was wearing. When she finished, Melissa moved quickly to make the other breast available, and Jackie once again had to endure the humiliating process of suckling her cousin's nipple until it ran dry. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she finished. Seemingly just to add another level of humiliation, Melissa pulled Jackie up so that her head rested on her shoulder and patted her back until Jackie let out a loud burp, which she had to admit did make her stomach feel better, even though she hadn't felt particularly poorly at the start. After she burped, her mother came over and addressed her. “See. That wasn't so bad, was it? You could have made it a lot easier for yourself by just being a good girl.” Jackie thought that her mother's comments made it pretty obvious that she had never been breastfed after earning a bachelor's degree, but left that thought safely within the confines of her own head. Instead, she simply opened her mouth as her mother reinserted her pacifier. “Come inside with me, baby. It is timeout time for you.” Jackie got off of the seat and crawled behind her mother into the house. In the living room, Jackie's mother strode over the corner. Jackie followed her until eventually, her mother crouched down beside her. “Since we don't have your timeout stool or your bouncer, timeout rules are going to be a little different for you today, baby. Kneel right here in the corner.” Jackie moved to do as she was told. Ultimately, her mother positioned her so that she wasn't facing the corner itself, but had her shoulder firmly in the corner and faced the blank wall in front of her. When she was satisfied, her mother continued. “Now, look over there. As you can see, we will be able to see you from the porch. But, just to make sure that you don't act up, you need to hold this penny up to the wall with your nose.” She showed Jackie a penny that was in her hand, then positioned it in front of her nose and pushed Jackie's head gently against the wall. She briefly left the room, then re-entered. Jackie dared not look, but her mother told her that she had brought out the baby monitor. “Every time I hear the penny drop, I will come back in and reset it. Every time that that happens also means another day of timeout in the jumper next week. If you are a good girl, I will come and get you when it is time for dinner. Then it is going to be straight to bed for you. You've been a very naughty baby. Now be good during your timeout.” Jackie tried to settle into her position, but realized immediately that this was going to be a difficult punishment, especially given how weak her legs were. Within just a few minutes, she was feeling a little stiff. Slowly, she shifted herself down from the upright kneeling position that she was in to a slightly lower position, all the while keeping her nose firmly pressed against the wall. For a moment this was more comfortable, but she soon realized that that position actually left her bearing even more weight, and tried to shift herself back up to the higher position. However, the penny seemed to catch on the wall, and her nose continued up while the penny dropped to the floor, loudly bouncing on the hardwood between her legs. Within a few seconds, Jackie heard the door slide open. Her mother returned to her side. As she replaced the penny, she said “Well, you made it 6 minutes. You were already going to spend to Monday thinking about how naughty you were this weekend. I guess you wanted to spend Tuesday the same way. At this rate, you might get to spend two weeks thinking about how much of a bad baby you've been. It's your choice.” Jackie resolved to avoid spending the next two weeks in the torture sling. This time, she held firm in her position, even as her legs experienced increasing discomfort. Eventually she had pushed past the pain and reached a point where she was just waiting out the time. Suddenly, however, the penny fell. She couldn't believe it. She was no longer bothered so much by the position. Instead, she had simply lost focus. Her mother returned, and, as she replaced the penny, she commented, “Well, you are more than halfway through your timeout, but you're also in timeout for more than half of next week. Mommy doesn't mind though. All I have to do when you are in timeout is feed you in the bouncer. I don't even have to change you until bedtime.” After she left, Jackie made sure to keep her focus 100% on the penny. It made the time pass incredibly slowly, but she was determined to keep her boredom the next week to a minimum. When the time was finally up, she had been so focused that she was startled by her mother announcing that it was time for her dinner. Gratefully, Jackie pulled her nose back from the wall and somewhat flopped onto her diapered bottom, which reminded her of just how wet she was. Jackie didn't really care, however, as she stretched out her legs for as long as she could before her mother beckoned her to follow her into the kitchen. Most of the party was still out on the deck preparing for a barbeque dinner, so the kitchen was basically deserted. Jackie was quickly boosted into the highchair and fastened in. In the mostly empty room, dinner proceeded fairly quickly, with the only people who were in there focused on preparing food to be cooked out on the grills and not bothering to make any comments on Jackie's feeding. The clock read just after six when her mother started feeding Jackie her after dinner bottles. As Jackie was slurping down the second one, Melissa carried Kendra into the kitchen and announced that she would be reserving the highchair next, as if there was really much of a line. At that point, Jackie's mother told her, “When you are done with your dinner you owe Auntie Melissa a big thank you. She brought along some of the milkies that she pumped out since Kendra stopped drinking up during the day a couple of weeks ago in bottles. She is going to give it to us so that you can drink it even after we go home! Isn't that exciting?” Jackie wasn't impressed, but when the empty bottle was removed from her mouth, she dutifully said thank you and, at her mother's prompting, she even gave her cousin a peck on the cheek. “Let's get you a bath and then get you off to bed, my naughty little baby,” her mother said. Soon she was in the bathtub in the bathroom, her soaked diaper finally off. After a very quick but thorough scrubbing, Jackie was dried off. On the floor of the bathroom she was taped into one of her extra thick overnight diapers and then dressed in an ultra-short, pink nighty that left her diaper entirely exposed. She was led back through the living room and into the bedroom that was to serve as a nursery for her and Kendra. In practically no time, she was tightly wrapped in blankets and stuffed into her tiny playpen. Laying on her back, she was fed her standard nighttime bottles. Just as she was finishing up, Kendra was brought in, having obviously just had a bath herself. Jackie came to the realization that she was already tucked in for the night before even her 1 year old cousin was. While she knew she was being put to bed about an hour early because of her earlier misbehavior, she was still dismayed. Her mother soon made it worse when she asked Melissa “Is this when Kendra normally goes to bed?” “Yup,” Melissa replied. “7 o'clock is a perfect time for this little tyke.” “Hmm. We had been putting Jackie down at 8. Maybe 7 would be more appropriate. You can consider that your new bedtime, baby girl.” Melissa continued. “I'm just going to read Kendra a story. I'd be happy to give Jackie a good night kiss and get the lights on my way out if you'd like to head out and get some dinner.” “Sounds great. Well, goodnight little girl. Be a perfect little angel. I don't want to hear a single peep out of you tonight. We have a long trip tomorrow, so sleep well.” Her mother gave her a kiss on the head and left her as Melissa began to read Goodnight Moon to both Kendra and Jackie. When she was finished, she helped to ease Kendra off to sleep, gave Jackie the kiss she had promised her mother, shut off the light, and closed the door behind her, sealing Jackie in for a particularly long night in a particularly small bed. Given that it was still before her bedtime, Jackie was still lying awake twenty minutes when a stomach rumble forced her into a horrifying realization. She had not messed herself all day. This was extremely rare for her, especially since she had begun her current diet, and she assumed that it must have been a result of all the nervous energy that had been coursing through her body all day. Why she hadn't yet pooped wasn't really her concern though, as much as what was going to happen now. She knew that she would almost certainly be pooping within the next few minutes, especially since she couldn't even shift positions to try to help with the cramps. Still, Jackie decided that she would try to fight the urge. If she could just fall asleep, maybe her body would be able to hold out until morning. And so, with a desperate urgency, Jackie tried to drift off. Her efforts only seemed to make her more awake. Within a few minutes, she knew, as she had the day before in her car seat, that she would not be winning her fight. She didn't really give up, because she had a sense that a mess she made now would stay in her diaper until morning, but within just fifteen minutes of the first warning sign Jackie lost the battle, and a cramp led to a surge of soft, warm poop sliding into the seat of her diaper. There was more coming, and within a few minutes Jackie was lying in a particularly full messy diaper that smelled perhaps a little worse than normal, though that might have been simply mental because Jackie would be smelling it for so long. Her discomfort was immediate. Her only hope was that Kendra would wake up and be put off by the smell enough that she cried and somehow led to Jackie getting changed, but given that she had just fallen asleep and was showing no signs of stirring in the crib next to Jackie, that possibility seemed remote. She knew that she was never allowed to mention the state of her diaper, and she knew that making some sort of call over the baby monitor would probably only anger her mother. Instead, she guessed that she would have to try to somehow fall asleep. She knew that that would be tough. She remembered when she had been forced to sleep next to her playmate, Stephanie, when Stephanie had messed herself during a nap time. Stephanie had been extremely red-faced when it had happened, but had quickly drifted off to sleep. Jackie, however, had found the smell almost too much to handle. She had taken much longer than normal to fall asleep and had only done so because she was genuinely tired because she was normally asleep at that time. Tonight, the smell and the discomfort of her own poop had Jackie unable to escape the senses associated with her plight. As it had been when she was cooped up next to the exorbitantly smelly Stephanie, genuine drowsiness was what finally got Jackie to sleep. Even her filthy, stinky bum couldn't stop her from falling victim to the combination of a stressful day, a physically demanding timeout, and the (for her) late hour of 8:15. It was some hours later when Jackie was jolted awake by an unfamiliar sound. She could place that she was hearing screaming, but she could not figure out why. Eventually, she slowly remembered where she was, and realized that the screaming she could hear was her young roommate crying. Jackie desperately just wanted to get back to sleep, but that was not going to happen anytime soon with the noise coming from the makeshift crib just a few feet from her own. In just a few moments, Melissa entered the room, immediately whispering “Shh, shh, Mommy is here baby.” As she crossed over to Kendra's playpen, she took a sniff and whispered, “Ooh, I think I can smell what you want, baby.” Even with how tired she was, Jackie was clear-headed enough to think “No, that smell is me.” Instantly, she was filled with dread. Surely now her cousin would discover the mess in her diaper, and then who knew what would happen. Would she be subjected to the most humiliating of changes? Would she die of shame? Melissa's bent over and picked up her daughter, holding her tight while setting up a changing mat. Jackie heard the tapes being opened up, and then Melissa said “Ooh, stinky girl. Let's get you all cleaned up.” “What?” Jackie thought. Wasn't she the source of the acrid air in the room? Her diaper was certainly full of poop. She knew that from the way that it clung to her backside every time she wriggled in her tightly wrapped blankets. But her cousin was certainly proceeding as if Kendra was in a messy diaper herself, and surely she must be right, given that she now had the diaper open. Jackie didn't know if this would perhaps mean a reprieve for her. Kendra had soon been changed into a new diaper, and had stopped her fussing but for a few stray whimpers. “Let mummy feed you now honey,” Melissa said, and though Jackie couldn't see it from her position, she could hear that Melissa had begun to feed her daughter the same way that she had fed Jackie earlier in the afternoon. Eventually the feeding had ended, and as Jackie could hear Melissa get to her feet, she heard her say “Oof, baby, that might have been the smelliest diaper you have ever had. I'm going to have to take that straight out to the trash or else the room will smell all night.” Jackie started to breathe easier. Obviously, Mellisa did not suspect her of being the cause of the majority of the stench in the room. Her fear that she would be changed by her cousin seemed to be misplaced. Sure enough, after a few minutes of cooing Kendra to sleep, Melissa departed the room, never having even come over to the playpen where Jackie had been cooped up the entire time. Finally, Jackie's heartbeat finally began to slow down. She had been on edge for the entire time that Melissa had been in the room, which she guessed must have been close to a half an hour. As she settled down though, she realized for the first time that her mess was even more uncomfortable than it had been when she had fallen asleep for what she had assumed would have been the night. Then she had been trapped in a warm, gooey sludge that had seemed almost invasive in the way that it was slowly seeping up into her crotch and the wider regions of her thick nighttime diaper. Now, the mess felt quite different. It was thoroughly cold, which seemed to make it even more uncomfortable against her skin. It also had spread throughout her diaper. She could feel it caked onto the small of her back, almost all the way to the top of her diaper. She could tell that it was very much stuck to her skin now, and she felt reasonably sure it was the most unpleasant diaper she had ever been in. In a way, she began to wonder if she had been as lucky as she thought she had been. She was still glad that Melissa hadn't changed her, but had her mother come in when Kendra had broken out in crying and changed her while Melissa had attended to Kendra, surely she would be much more comfortable and already asleep, rather than helplessly trying to ignore the itchy, smelly mess that she was laying in. After what she could have sworn was hours of uncomfortably trying to fall asleep, morning seemed to come amazingly fast for Jackie. She woke up disoriented, which was helped by the fact that she was not woken up in her normal way. Instead of her mother gently rousing her, the first thing she heard was “Woo, Melissa, is that Kendra? Man, is it smelly in here.” “I guess it could be,” Melissa answered, “but she was stinky in the middle of the night, so I'd be surprised. I think you're the one who got this present.” “Uh-oh, are you the little stinker?” Jackie's mother asked, with her face just inches from her daughter's. As she unwrapped the tight blankets that had held Jackie immobilized over the course of her miserable night, they were both struck by a fresh blast of the horrible, acrid stench coming from around Jackie's waist. “Oh, yup, it's mine alright!” her mother called. “Whew, ok, well, I guess we won't be going first for breakfast after all. She's going to need a change right away or else everyone out in the kitchen will gag on their food!” As Jackie was helped out of the playpen by her mother, Melissa said “OK, I'll give Kendra a quick change and then take her out to the highchair.” Jackie was sat on a changing pad in the center of a room, where her mother took off her nighty, leaving her naked but for her diaper. As her mother laid her back down, Kendra was brought over and laid down next to her, which made Jackie feel distinctly exposed with her cousin looking down on her mostly naked body. The day before, Jackie would have been filled with an unbelievable discomfort at the realization that Melissa was about to see her being changed out of a messy diaper. This morning though, having been stuck in the filthy undergarment for so long, she was significantly less vain. Sure, she was still not looking forward to having her smelly crotch on display, but more than anything she just wanted to be clean again, especially since her cousin already had a pretty good idea about her diaper's content. Her mother opened up the diaper and both she and Melissa briefly turned away. “Man,” Melissa finally said, “that might be the grossest diaper I've ever seen. Hopefully Kendra only has to grow up once so I never have to deal with something like that!” “Yeah,” her mother responded, “this is as bad as I've ever seen, but she was a little easier to clean up the first time around. But oh well, babies can't help themselves, no matter how big they are. Isn't that right, princess?” Jackie was glad that she wasn't required to lisp out a response as her mother took the first wipe and began to carefully clean the caked-on waste off of her bald crotch. Kendra had been completely changed, dressed and gone to breakfast for nearly five minutes before her mother had finally gotten all of the poop off of her bottom. “You have a little bit of a rash, baby,” her mother announced. “Let's put a little cream on there for you.” After lotion was rubbed into her tush for another minute, which did make her bottom feel a little less itchy than it had, she was powdered and taped into a fresh diaper. Even as she was wondering why she was being taped into another overnight diaper, her mother said “We're going to leave pretty much right after we get you fed, so we might as well get you ready for our trip now.” Next Jackie found herself being dressed in another pair of white tights. Over her head came a seafoam green dress that was, as usual, far too short to do much to obscure the bulge underneath it, though Jackie was glad that it was at least more subtle than yesterday's, if no less babyish. A matching headband with a small green bow was placed in her hair, and finally her mary-janes completed the ensemble. Without needing to be told, Jackie crawled behind her mother and out towards the kitchen. She found herself amongst about a dozen pairs of legs, which she successfully navigated as she crawled over to the tiny highchair that sat in the corner of the room. She was helped into the baby furniture one final time, squeezing in tight as the tray was closed around her midsection. As her mother tied a bib around her neck, her father came over and took out her pacifier to give her a kiss. “Good morning, princess,” he said. “Goo moawaning, daddy,” she lisped. “I heard you were a very smelly girl this morning,” he said, loud enough for anyone in the kitchen who didn't already know to become aware that she had thoroughly used her diaper overnight. Jackie didn't know whether she needed to respond, but was given a reprieve when her mother approached and immediately began spooning oatmeal into her mouth. Although the feeding left Jackie's face as messy as usual, it was clearly somewhat rushed and industrial. She was quickly fed her bottles and then had her face cleaned. Apparently her parents had already packed, because she was told it was time to head out to the car as soon as she was done. Before she could get down though, several family members came over to bid her goodbye, all of them making sure to address her infantile status and to give her condescending kisses on the forehead. The last to come over was Melissa, who was holding Kendra in her arms. Melissa gave her a quick peck like all the others, then addressed both girls, saying mostly to Jackie, “Give your new friend a kiss goodbye! Next time you see her she will be much bigger, but who knows if you will have grown up at all.” Miserably, Jackie gave Kendra the babyish smooch that she had been trained to give when she was told to give a kiss, which Kendra sort of returned, sparking a wave of “awws” from the onlooking crowd. Finally, the tray pinning her into the tiny seat was removed and she was helped back onto the floor. Her parents finished their final goodbyes and Jackie was led to the door, which was opened to reveal her stroller just on the other side of the threshold. She got up and into it. With the family left in the house, she and her parents made their way down the long driveway and to the car. Once they reached the car, she was taken out of the stroller and her mother helped her up into the car while her father folded the stroller and put it in the trunk. Jackie settled into the carseat and her mother began to tighten the restraints, once again leaving her immobilized. “I hope you had fun this weekend, baby, because you are going to have a long time this week to think about what a naughty girl you were yesterday afternoon,” her mother said as before she closed the door. Momentarily alone, Jackie sighed. She certainly had not had fun at the family reunion. It had been terrifically embarrassing, and it had led her to get into more trouble than she had since her first few rebellious days of her reduced status. She wished that they had never come. And now she had a day in the car where she would have nothing to do but think about her embarrassing life and the numbingly boring days of punishment she had ahead of her. As they got on the road, Jackie's thoughts drifted back to the last thing that Melissa had said to her at the reunion about the next time she would see Kendra. She had little doubt that Kendra would be grown, as she had only seen Melissa twice now in the last five years and it seemed unlikely that that pattern would change so dramatically that Kendra would still be a tot the next time the family got together. Jackie sincerely hoped that when they met again though, she would have been allowed to mature too. It was pretty clear that her parents intended to keep her as a baby for some significant period of time, but she kept hope that it would end at least within the span of a normal babyhood, even if she did know enough from her developmental psychology class to know that her parents' rules for her behavior didn't really correspond with any actual age. If Jackie met a six year old Kendra still stuck living the way she was now, she thought she might just go insane. She resolved to find a way to ask Stephanie on their next play date how she had managed to keep her mind from going to mush over the four years she had been stuck as an infant. As disturbing as Jackie's contemplations were, they did do a nice job of passing the time. The next thing she knew, her mother passed back her morning snack of a bottle. Jackie brought it to her mouth and began to drink, almost choking as she realized that it was breast milk that filled the bottle. Her mother chuckled as she watched in the rear view mirror. “That is one of the bottles that Melissa was nice enough to save for you. We have enough for you to have one a day for a week. Aren't you lucky?” Jackie didn't feel lucky at all. For one, the milk was cold, no doubt because that was the only way to keep it from spoiling, but that seemed out of place since she normally drank warm formula. In addition, while she wouldn't actually say that the taste was any worse than the sickly sweet formula she was used to, the difference was enough that she couldn't help but notice it. That difference only served to remind her of the miserable experience of being breastfed the day before. If the embarrassment didn't still sting so much, she wouldn't be able to believe it had really happened. Suckling on her cousin's nipple had been more difficult than latching onto the nipple of a bottle, and the milk had come out in strong squirts rather than the steady flow that she was accustomed to. All of that forced Jackie to focus intently on the breasts she had been draining, which made her even more aware of the embarrassing task she was feeding, and she had felt like her cheeks had been on fire as she heard the embarrassing comments that her relatives were making at her expense. Mercifully, Jackie soon drained the bottle of the embarrassing milk and was able to move on in her thoughts. She found herself extremely tired after her poor night's sleep. Even though she had had her bedtime moved up an hour to 7 o'clock, which meant that she would now be spending less time out of her crib than in it when naps were included, she had probably gotten less sleep last night than she had in months. Her body still looked the same as it had when she was still treated like an adult, but more and more she was physically turning into a small child. Not only was she increasingly incontinent, but her body now needed an infantile amount of sleep as well. Having not had it overnight, her body seemed intent on catching up now, and before long she fell asleep. She didn't wake up until her mother jostled her awake by checking her diaper. “Just a little wet,” she said, beginning to unbuckle Jackie from the seat. It took a moment, but Jackie realized that they had stopped at another roadside picnic area. She was helped down into the stroller, which confirmed that she wouldn't be changed. Just as she figured out that it must be lunchtime, she was wheeled over to a nearby table, and had a bib tied around her neck. The lot was deserted, so the feeding passed by without any incident, and Jackie was soon being refastened into her carseat for more of the ride. She was handed another bottle to drink as the car got going again. This one was just standard formula, and went down without much thought. Just as she was finishing, however, an almost seismic rumble occurred in her stomach. She handed the finished bottle to her mother and settled in for what she knew was a mess that was coming on fast. Although it had been relatively shortly ago that she had had the massive bowel movement in her makeshift crib, she wasn't really surprised. She had gone more than 24 hours from when she had messed in this very seat on Friday and when she had messed on Saturday evening. She was basically due for a day when she messed herself twice, as she hadn't since Wednesday and it usually happened every other day or so. Perhaps it wouldn't be today because she had gone so late last night, but she wasn't surprised that poop was on the way. As she had expected, it came quickly, and when it did it was nice enough to announce its presence. As she scrunched up her face and pushed hard to get the poop out into the diaper that was pressed so tightly against her by the seat, a series of long, noisy farts made sure that her parents knew exactly what was going on. In a few more minutes, she was finally able to relax, settling into what was now a warm and smelly load that was spreading around her backside. “Man,” her father said, “just after we could have changed her at lunch. Oh well, let's push on if its ok with you, we're making good time.” “I was thinking the same thing,” her mother replied. “She was really only a little wet. In her overnight diaper she could make it all the way home without her leaking, as long as the smell doesn't get to us.” “Great,” Jackie thought to herself. “Another long set of hours in a stinky diaper.” Still though, she knew that if they decided to drive the rest of the way without changing her she would be assured that there wouldn't be a repeat of the encounter they had had during her messy change on Friday, so perhaps the news wasn't all bad. After the effort required to mess herself in such tight quarters briefly left her body coursing with energy, but since she was so unused to having to exert herself in any way, she found herself feeling a tad tired. Although she had just woken up about an hour ago, it was her normal nap-time and she was still making up for lost rest. She soon drifted off once more. Jackie woke up a little more than an hour later, immediately noticing that her diaper had become colder and was somewhat itchy, though at least it didn't smell nearly as bad as last night's mess had. Her mother noticed her fidgeting and produced another bottle for her to drink. She finished it without too much haste. By then she was more awake and took stock of her surroundings. It was a few minutes after 3 in the afternoon, so if the trip was going as smoothly as it had, they would be well more than half-way home. Still, Jackie knew she had at minimum two more hours stuck in the carseat, and most likely the stinky pants as well. Her thoughts turned to the trip she was coming home from once more. She was glad she hadn't known it was coming. As bad as it was, she knew that anticipating it for more than just the car ride on Friday would have been just as agonizing. Still, she knew the trip would do her some real damage. No matter if she was ever allowed to re-enter the adult world, she would surely always be known by her extended family as the big baby who had demonstrated just how desperately she needed her diapers all weekend long. If she did get to go back to her real life, she decided, she probably never would go back to one of those reunions. The trip also made her look forward to being home. Her daily routine was boring, and mind-numbing, and a little embarrassing, but it was nothing like spending a whole weekend in the company of new people. She was glad to get back to anonymity again, even if she was still going to be forced to be a baby. Even though in many ways she did consider her life to be “that bad,” in a way she thought the trip had helped her to realize that it could be even worse. At long last, they pulled into the driveway. Jackie was glad to be home, ready to get a clean diaper, perhaps with a bath beforehand. She knew tonight she wouldn't put up a fight when she was fed the gross mush that made up so much of her diet. She would even be glad to sleep in her own crib again, where even though she would be wrapped so tightly by her mother that she would be sure to wake up sweaty, at least she would be able to extend her legs before the swaddling began. With a grateful sigh, she realized that her unexpected trip was over.

Thank you all for welcoming both me and the story back to the board Don't hesitate to give your comments on the story and lets continue to move things along Chapter 33: The morning sunlight streamed through the curtains, coaxing me awake from the depths of dreamland. The scent of pancakes and bacon wafted through the air, but was soon overtaken by the smell of stale urine and a very messy diaper. As I blinked away the remnants of sleep, the realization hit me – today was amusement park day. Mommy entered the room, her eyes lighting up with affection upon seeing my wakeful state. "Good morning, my little adventurer! Looks like someone had quite the night," she greeted with a playful twinkle in her eyes, seemingly unfazed by the morning surprise. The fresh morning air mingled with the aroma of a diaper change in the making. Mommy, ever the pro at navigating our morning routines, approached with a cheerful demeanor. "Mo-ni, momy!" I mumbled around my dummy, as she untangled me from my bedsheet and got busy inspecting my soiled diaper, unsnapping the crotch of my onesie one by one "POP! POP! POP!" "Oh, what a messy little boy you are. Yes him is!" She announced cheerfully, before reaching to the side of the bed, producing a small changing mat, that she proceeded to place under my diapered bum. The snap of a fresh diaper being unfurled echoed in the room, and the crinkle of plastic signaled the beginning of the morning ritual. "Ready for a fun-filled day at the amusement park?" she chimed. First, Mommy unfastened the tapes of the used diaper with gentle precision. The room held a mix of familiar scents – baby powder, wipes, and the remnants of the night's adventure. The used diaper, now containing evidence of nighttime activities, was carefully lifted away, revealing the aftermath of the night. With a stack of wipes at the ready, Mommy began the cleansing process. Each wipe was applied with a gentle touch, efficiently cleaning and refreshing with a routine born out of countless diaper changes. Once the cleaning was complete, Mommy disposed of the used wipes and unfolded a fresh diaper. The snap of the elastic and the soft crinkle of the plastic signaled the arrival of a new beginning. With practiced hands, she positioned the fresh diaper beneath me, ensuring a snug and comfortable fit. The velcro tabs were fastened with a reassuring precision, securing the fresh diaper in place. The room, once filled with the traces of the night, now carried the scent of baby powder and the promise of a new day. As Mommy completed the diaper change, her eyes met mine with a warm smile. "All done, my little one," she announced, as she guided me up from the changing mat into a seat position, where she proceeded to pull the onesie over my head and off my body, leaving me in only my new fresh diaper. "Wanna go, say good morning to Granny and Aunty Karen?" She asked excited. I tried smiling around my dummy and nodded my head up and down. "Then let’s go, sweetie. Don't forget "Mr. Rabbit": She reached under the covers and produced by trusted companion, which I proceed to cradle close to my chest, as Mom took my hand and guided me out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen, still clad in nothing but a diaper and my building puppy fat. "Moarming, gravy!" I greeted loudly around my dummy, as we entered the kitchen. "Morning, sweetheart" Granny greeted back, turning around from the kitchen table and placing colorful plastic bowl onto the dinner table. The house buzzed with anticipation as I sat at the kitchen table, the vibrant hues of my toddler-themed plate catching my eye. Mommy, with a smile that mirrored the excitement of the day, approached, her hands cradling a jar of carefully prepared baby food. The jar held a medley of flavors and textures, a concoction of fruits and cereals blended to perfection. The label, adorned with cheerful illustrations, the cartoons on the label drew my attention away from the wording on the glass. "Breakfast time, sweetie!" Mommy announced, her voice carrying a blend of affection and playfulness, as she tied a birght yellow bib around my neck and took a designated seat next me to at the table. A small baby spoon, its handle adorned with playful colors, awaited its role in this morning ritual. Mommy dipped the spoon into the jar, scooping up a portion of the creamy mixture. The aroma of fruits and cereals wafted through the air, a comforting fragrance that signaled the beginning of the meal. "Open wide, baby!" She announced, before guiding the spoon to my lips with a tender touch. The creamy baby food met my tongue, the flavors a gentle blend of sweetness and familiarity. A zippy cup, filled with diluted apple juice, complemented the baby food feast. Sips between spoonful’s added a refreshing element to the meal. As I sat there, being fed spoonful after spoonful, the house came alive with the bustling energy of Granny, Aunty, and Jack getting ready for the amusement park. Footsteps and the distant chatter formed a backdrop to what could have been any toddler household in the country "Hurry up, Susan! Karen and Jack are almost ready." Granny shouted from across the house. "Okay, mother!" Mommy responded as she feed me the last spoonful of pure, before allowing me to empty the zippy cup and wiping my mouth with the bib. "Let’s get you ready, Baby". Mommy announced, taking me by the hand and guiding me back to the bedroom. Before dressing me in my outfit for the day, Mommy once again covered me in a thick layer of sunscreen, leaving my skin a milky white color. Afterwards she produced a light yellow onesie, with a large teddy bear on the chest. "Arms up." She commanded, before pulling the onesie over my head and closing it at the crotch, sealing in my puffy but still clean diaper. Next came a pair of light green shortalls, which she guided me into, pulling them up onto my hips and snapping them securely into place across my shoulder. The shortsalls like my onesie came with snaps in the crotch allowing for easy access. The outfit was finished off with a pair of white socks. "Don't you look handsome?" Mom applauded, as I turned to see myself in the mirror. The bulk of my diaper made my hips look rounded and the extra body fat I was carrying was starting to make me look like the stay puft marshmallow man. If it had not been for my height, you could easily have confused me for any other toddler. "Oh, we can't forget this!" Mom reached around me from behind and secured a clip onto the chest of shortalls. The clip had a long string attached and at the end hung a bright green pacifier. "Can't have you losing your dummy, can we?" She smiled, before grabbing my hand and guiding me out of the bedroom. In the hallway Mommy quickly helped me into my white tennisshoe, trying a nice bow with each shoelace, before putting on her own shoes as we exited the house and made our way out into the driveway. The vibrant morning sun cast a warm glow on driveway and as our family gathered in front of the house , the anticipation of the day's adventures bubbling in the air. Mommy held my hand, her fingers entwined with mine as we approached Grannies car, a practical yet unassuming minivan, stood ready for the journey ahead. The doors slid open with a soft whoosh, revealing a black leather interior and 3 rows of seat. 2 in the front, 2 in the middle and a long row of 3 seats in the back, one already occupied by Jack's carseat, which Aunty Karen was quickly to get him strapped into. Mommy guided me towards the open door, my yellow onesie almost the same color as the warm sunrays that were blasting down from upon. I was guided into the back seat next to Jack and strapped in tightly, as Mommy planted a gently kiss on my check. "All set." She announced before closing the door and climbing into the seat in front of us. Granny occupied the driver's seat, her hands confidently on the wheel. Aunty Karen next to her in the passenger seat. The trunk looked to be tightly packed, with everything needed for the day. Including both mine and Jack's diaperbags, but only one stroller for Jack. "A stroller" I chuckled to myself. I was too old to write in a stoller. "I may be wearing a diaper....A wet diaper. But only really small babies need to ride in a stroller. I'm be enough to walk on my own." I gave myself a mental pat on the shoulder, before reaching for my pacifier and putting between my lips. "Is everyone ready for a fantastic day at the amusement park?" Granny's voice, tinged with excitement, echoed through the car. As the engine started to hum and the car sat in motion, I reached for and grabbed "Mr. BunnyRabbit" tightly. The minivan started to glide down the familiar neighborhood streets, the scenery transforming as we ventured toward the amusement park. The wind whispered through the windows, carrying with it the promise of laughter, rides, and shared moments. As the minivan merged onto the highway, a sense of unity enveloped us. The amusement park loomed on the horizon, its colorful attractions visible from a distance, inviting us into a world of whimsy and delight. Granny and Aunty, engaged in playful banter in the front seat, as the car made its way onto the highway. The sun cast dappled patterns through the car window, creating a kaleidoscope of light that danced across the interior. Mommy, with her ever-watchful eye, exchanged glances with me through the rearview mirror, before producing a small plush toy handing it to Jack. Jack gurgled with delight, as his tiny fingers started exploring the plush fabric teddy bear. Our eyes met, and in that shared moment, a silent understanding passed between us. Despite the age difference, we were on the same level, as we both clutched our respective teddy’s. As we neared the amusement park, a familiar warmth spread in my diaper. I shifted slightly in my seat, as the diaper soaked up the warm urine, leaving my skin nice and dry. After about 20 minutes the minivan slowly glided into the bustling parking lot of the amusement park, as Granny found a parking spot amidst a sea of vehicles. The engine hummed to a gentle halt, and with the twist of the key, the car fell silent. Granny, with practiced ease, turned around from the driver's seat. "Alright, everyone! We're here!" she announced, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. Excitement filled the air as Jack started bouncing in his carseat, while both Aunty and Mommy let out a loud “Jubi!” The adults opened their doors and exited the car. All 3 of them looking casual smart in their summer dresses. Mommy soon arrived at my door and helped me unbuckle and get out of the seat, onto the warm parking lot. While Karen got busy unstrapping Jack, I took a quick glance around the lot, which was buzzing with large families, many with small children, some younger than Jack but many his age and dressed just like him……and me, diaper bulk and all. The trunk popped open, revealing a well-packed array of bags, snacks, and essentials for the day. Granny, ever the planner, efficiently directed the unloading process. Mommy turned to me with a smile, reaching for my hand. "Ready for some fun, sweetheart?" she asked, her eyes brimming with enthusiasm. I nodded eagerly, holding tightly onto "Mr. BunnyRabbit. Karen unfolded Jack's stroller, securing him snugly in its embrace. The stroller a bright colorful fabric with cartoon prints, held my baby cousin tightly in place, as Granny used the room below Jack’s seat to store all our essentials for the day. Jack’s diaperbag was hung on the handle by Karen and as Mommy swung my diaperbag across her shoulder we were on our way. "Look at you, Jack! All set for an adventure, too," Mommy cooed, adjusting the sunshade to shield him from the bright sunlight, before grabbing my hand tightly. With the stroller ready, we made our way towards the entrance. The distant sounds of laughter, carousel music, and roller coaster screams grew louder with each step. The anticipation bubbled within me, matching the infectious energy of the park. Granny took the lead, navigating through the crowd with a confident stride. Aunty Karen walked beside her, engaged in conversation and occasionally checking on Jack in the stroller. Mommy held my hand securely, guiding me through the sea of people with ease. As we approached the entrance gates, the vibrant colors and whimsical designs of the park's entrance arch came into view. The scent of cotton candy and popcorn wafted through the air, triggering a sensory overload of excitement. "Here we are, my little adventurers!" Granny exclaimed, her eyes gleaming as she ushered us through the entrance turnstiles. The park unfolded before us like a magical wonderland. Brightly colored rides towered in the distance, their mechanical sounds blending with the laughter and chatter of families enjoying the day. The sight was overwhelming yet thrilling, and I couldn't help but bounce on my toes with excitement. Mommy knelt down, adjusting the clip on my shortalls gently placing the pacifier in my mouth. "There we go, sweetie. Now, who's ready for some unforgettable moments?" I gave her a big smile behind the shield of the dummy, which won me a large kiss on the forehead in return. We approached the ticket booth, its vibrant colors matching the whimsy of the amusement park. A friendly-looking ticket clerk, adorned in a uniform with a name tag that read "B-uh,uh-O-B….BOB, his name was BOB!," greeted us with a warm smile. "Hello, folks! Ready for a day of fun?" Bob asked, his eyes scanning our group. Granny stepped forward, her voice filled with enthusiasm. "Absolutely! We'd like three adult tickets and two child tickets, please." Bob nodded, punching numbers into the ticketing system. As he processed the request, his eyes lingered on our group, pausing slightly when they reached me. His brows furrowed in momentary confusion. "Three adults and two children, right?" he clarified, his gaze fixed on me. Granny, sensing the slight hesitation, spoke up with a chuckle. "Yes, indeed! These 2 little ones are our youngest adventurer." Bob, looking somewhat skeptical, glanced at me again. I stood there, clad in my toddler-themed outfit, clutching "Mr. BunnyRabbit" with my dummy bouncing up and down between my lips, with each suckle, which only got faster as faster, as Bob continued to scan me up and down, adding to my anxiety. The bulk of my diaper added to the illusion of a younger age. After a thoughtful pause, Bob smiled, seemingly making up his mind. "Alright then, three adults and two children. Enjoy your day!" Relief washed over me as we received our tickets, and I couldn't help but giggle around my pacifier. The amusement park welcomed us with open arms, and the ticketing hurdle only added an amusing twist to the day's adventure. Mommy ruffled my hair playfully, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Looks like someone got an extra dose of cuteness today." With our tickets in hand, we strolled further into the park, the vibrant surroundings inviting us to explore. The distant sounds of rides in motion and the sweet aroma of treats filled the air, creating an atmosphere of pure joy. The amusement park buzzed with activity, the air filled with laughter and the distant hum of rides in motion. Our group, a blend of generations, ventured deeper into the park, each step carrying us closer to new adventures. Mommy held my hand, her fingers interlocked with mine as we walked along the lively pathways. Jack giggled in his stroller, seemingly delighted by the vibrant colors and the cheerful atmosphere. Despite my initial desire for more thrilling rides, Mommy led the way to child-friendly attractions, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Look, Patrick! The Merry-Go-Round!" Mommy exclaimed, her eyes bright with excitement. She guided me towards the ornate carousel, where colorful horses pranced in a circle. "Mommy, can I ride the big roller coaster?" I asked, my eyes sparkling with excitement. Mommy crouched down, her eyes meeting mine. "Not this time, sweetie. Look, the carousel is perfect for you!" I glanced around, my eyes catching sight of the larger, more daring rides in the distance. The towering roller coasters and spinning contraptions beckoned to me, igniting a spark of adventure within. However, Mommy had other plans for our amusement park day. "Let's hop on, sweetie!" Mommy said, leading me towards the ride. Reluctantly, I agreed, as Mommy helped me onto a majestic white horse. As the carousel spun around, I clutched the brass pole, my eyes fixed on the world twirling around me. Jack giggled from his stroller, seemingly delighted by the rotating spectacle. As we circled around, I couldn't help but steal glances at the more thrilling rides that loomed in the distance. The desire for bigger adventures tugged at my imagination, but Mommy's watchful eyes kept us firmly grounded in the realm of child-friendly delights. As we strolled through the bustling park, the distant sounds of roller coasters and exhilarating screams filled the air. The yearning for more thrilling adventures continued to tug at me, and I couldn't resist sharing my desires with Mommy. "Mommy, can we please try one of the big rides?" I pleaded, my eyes wide with anticipation. Mommy, with a tender smile, crouched down to my eye level, her hand gently resting on my shoulder. "Oh, sweetie, I know you're eager, but today is about enjoying the park as a family and Jack is way too small to go on those big scary rides….And they are also WAY too high for you and Jack." "But, Mommy, I'm not as little as Jack, Jack is way littler and much more a baby than me." I protested, my disappointment evident. She chuckled softly, her fingers brushing through my hair. "Oh my, you sure are, adventurous today, Baby. Next time we’ll go on the bigger rides, but today we’ll stick with safe and fun experiences that we all can enjoy. Okay?" I pouted, my lower lip protruding. "But I want to go on the roller coaster. Please, Mommy?" I pleaded stomping my feet into the ground. Mommy's gaze softened, and she cupped my face in her hands. "I promise we'll have lots of fun on the rides we choose today. There's so much magic in these attractions, Jack loves them and I want you to do the same." With a sigh, I nodded, reluctantly accepting Mommy's decision. Despite my yearning for bigger thrills, the warmth of Mommy's love and the shared joy of the day gradually eased the disappointment. We continued our journey through the park, my hand firmly clasped in Mommy's, ready to embrace the magic of the kiddie rides, even if my heart still longed for the daring adventures that loomed in the distance. We moved from one ride to another, my enthusiasm for daring experiences met with a series of whimsical attractions. The Tea Cups, the Flying Elephants, and a charming Train Ride all became part of our day. Each time, Mommy, Karen’s and Grannies encouraging words and Jack’s infectious laugh made me enjoy the “baby-rides” more and more. In the midst of the swirling colors, laughter, and the rhythmic churning of rides, we navigated the amusement park. Despite my rather conspicuous attire—a diaper that seemed to rival the size of a toddler's and a onesie adorned with a teddy bear—I was just another face in the sea of revelers. The sun beamed down, casting a warm glow on the multitude of families bustling about. Children's laughter intertwined with the mechanical sounds of rides, creating a symphony of joy that enveloped the park. As I walked hand-in-hand with Mommy, the velcro tabs of my diaper crinkling softly with each step, I couldn't help but marvel at how seamlessly we blended into the carnival of happiness. My onesie, splashed with pastel colors and hugging my diapered form, felt oddly normal in this fantastical setting. The green shortalls, my white socks, and the plush toy I clutched seemed less like oddities and more like essential accessories for a day at the amusement park. Amid the diverse crowd, we were just another family weaving through the pathways, Granny's confident stride, Aunty Karen's infectious laughter, and Jack's occasional coos merged with the ambient sounds, becoming part of the harmonious melody that echoed through the park. Passersby, caught in the whirlwind of their own adventures, glanced at us briefly. Some wore curious smiles, while others were too engrossed in the allure of the rides to pay much attention. It was as if my oversized toddler persona was just another stroke in the vibrant canvas of this fantastical world. As we moved from one attraction to another, my occasional waddle and the bulkiness of my diaper beneath the shortalls seemed inconspicuous. As we strolled through the vibrant chaos of the amusement park, the high-pitched excitement of a young child's voice pierced the air. "Mommy, Daddy, look at the big baby!" The exclamation was accompanied by a tiny finger pointed directly at me. A hush seemed to fall around us as curious eyes turned in our direction. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, feeling like the center of attention in a crowd that suddenly became acutely aware of our unconventional presence. However, the child's parents, discerning the need for sensitivity, quickly intervened. "Honey, we don't point and stare. People might have special needs, and it's important to be kind," the mother explained to her child. Despite the parents' attempt to educate their child on empathy, the gaze of the crowd lingered. I couldn't escape the feeling of being on display, my oversized toddler outfit attracting more attention than I was comfortable with. Mommy, sensing my unease, knelt down beside me and whispered reassuring words. "It's okay, sweetheart. Sometimes people don't understand, but we're here to have fun. Their opinions don't matter. You're my special little one, and we're making wonderful memories today." I nodded, taking solace in Mommy's comforting embrace. Her words were a shield against the prying eyes and whispered comments. As we continued our adventure through the amusement park, Mommy held my hand a little tighter, creating a haven of reassurance amid the swirling sea of curious onlookers. However, as the hours passed, a subtle challenge emerged. The ever growing bulk of my diaper, concealed beneath my toddler-themed outfit, began to make its presence known. My steps, once filled with the boundless energy of anticipation, now carried a hint of hesitation. Mommy, ever perceptive, noticed the change. "Are you having fun, sweetheart?" Mommy asked, her eyes filled with genuine concern. I nodded, trying to conceal the slight discomfort. My enthusiasm remained intact, but the physical demands of the park, coupled with the bulk of my diaper, added an unexpected layer of challenge to the adventure. As we continued to explore, the struggle to keep up with Mommy became more apparent. The child-friendly rides, though enjoyable, couldn't fully satisfy the yearning for more thrilling experiences. I glanced longingly at the towering roller coasters, my desire for excitement conflicting with the constraints of the day's chosen adventures. Amid the hustle and bustle of the amusement park, our group decided to take a break. We spotted a nice, grassy lawn with scattered picnic tables – the perfect spot to rest our tired feet and refuel. Mommy, in her excitement, spread out a colorful blanket, making a cozy spot for us to relax. As we prepared to sit down, Mommy's expression shifted from delight to concern. "Oh no, I forgot Patrick's zippy cup. I can't believe I left it behind." A look of mild concern crossed her face as she surveyed the bustling food area, the lines for the vendors extending far beyond what seemed manageable. Mommy double-checked my diaper bag just to be sure, her fingers rapidly moving through its contents. The realization that the zippy cup wasn't there crossed her face, and she sighed. Aunty Karen, had in the meantime unstrapped Jack from his stroller and placed him on the blanket between herself and Granny suddenly decided to chime in. "No worries, Susan. I've got something that might work." She reached into Jack's diaper bag and pulled out two baby bottles filled with a fruity drink. Mommy's face brightened with relief. "Karen, you're a lifesaver! Thank you so much." Aunty Karen grinned, handing one of the bottles to Mommy. "The temperatures are rather high today and I thought the lines for food and drinks may be long, so I brought an extra drink for Jack, just in case. And they are even spill proof.” She chuckled. Mommy accepted the bottle with gratitude, but my eyes widened with uncertainty. A baby bottle? Surely, this wasn't intended for me. I'm a big boy, not a baby. Karen noticed my hesitation and said, "Patrick, it's just a drink. No need to start crying, see your Cousin Jack loves his baba.” She gently placed the rubber nipple between Jack’s lips, as he started to suckle almost on instinct and placing both his tiny palms around the bottle Mommy nodded in agreement, "She's right, sweetheart. It's just for today. We'll get your zippy cup next time. And look, Jack's enjoying his." While Mommy was visibly happy about the solution, I couldn't shake off the feeling that sipping from a baby bottle was reserved for, well, babies. Nevertheless, with everyone looking at me expectantly, I hesitantly took the bottle from Mommy. The amusement park buzzed with excitement around us as I held the baby bottle in my hands, its pastel colors and cute design oddly complementing my toddler-like outfit. Mommy, Aunty Karen, and Granny chatted cheerfully, as Karen continued helping Jack hold his bottle, as he sucked away, all of them seemingly unaware of the internal struggle I was facing. Looking down at the bottle, I hesitated. The plastic nipple stared back at me, a symbol of innocence and infancy. Taking a deep breath, I brought the bottle to my lips. The rubbery texture of the nipple pressed against my mouth, as I tilted the bottle, the sweet fruity drink flowed into my mouth. A mix of embarrassment and amusement washed over me, but surprisingly, the experience was oddly satisfying. The cool liquid offered a refreshing break from the excitement of the park, and a small smile formed on my face. It wasn't about being a baby or a big boy; it was about being carefree, I didn’t have to worry about spilling on myself and as I suckled away on the rubber nipple I slowly closed my eyes and leaned backwards, rolling flat onto my back, as I drank the sweet nectar while the warm sun continued beaming down us. As I continued to sip from the baby bottle, I caught Mommy's eye. She beamed with pride and joy. Aunty Karen playfully raised her eyebrows, acknowledging the small victory of overcoming my initial reluctance. As the cool drink flowed through the bottle's silicone nipple, I sipped tentatively, feeling a mix of awkwardness and amusement. Despite my initial reservations, the sweet flavor and the novelty of the moment gradually lessened my self-consciousness. After our brief break on the grass, we resumed our amusement park adventure. Granny, Karen, Mommy, Jack comfortably seated in his stroller, and me with my diaper slightly more burdened than before, strolled from ride to ride, immersing ourselves in the whimsy of the colorful attractions. The sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the vibrant surroundings. Laughter and cheers filled the air as families reveled in the joyous atmosphere. Next we ventured to a miniature Ferris wheel, its cheerful pastel carts beckoning us to take a seat. As Aunty Karen secured herself, me and Jack into our colorful capsule, I felt a sense of giddiness, the anticipation of the ascent building within me. The wheel creaked into motion, providing us with a gentle, elevated view of the park. As we descended from the Ferris wheel, my diaper felt heavier, and my steps became more pronounced. The repeated walk from ride to ride and all the time spent standing in line for each ride were starting to take its toll on my legs. Mommy noticed my struggle, her keen maternal instincts sensing my weariness. "Patrick, sweetheart, are you okay?" she asked, concern etching her features. "I'm fine, Mommy," I assured her, though the effort it took to keep up with the pace was evident in my slightly wobbly steps. Undeterred, Mommy led us to a whimsical teacup ride adorned with bright colors and playful designs. As we spun in our cups, I couldn't help but lose myself in the dizzying delight. Yet, the physical toll lingered, and my diaper, now thoroughly saturated, added an extra challenge to my steps. Our family continued to explore kiddie rides, each one contributing to the sense of childlike wonder that permeated the day. My initial desire for bigger thrills gave way to the infectious joy of the simpler, more age-appropriate attractions. We spent the next hours or so, wandering from ride to ride, taking in all the sounds and colors around us. Next Our journey through the amusement park brought us face to face with one of its most endearing characters – a giant yellow teddy bear, adorned in cheerful shorts and a vibrant t-shirt. The bear's friendly demeanor and welcoming gestures attracted a crowd of excited children and parents alike. “Wanna, go hug teddy?” Mom didn’t ask as much as she commanded, guiding me toward the huggable teddy bear. Jack, nestled securely in his stroller, observed the oversized bear with wide-eyed wonder, as Karen pushed him closer. As we gradually progressed in the line, the anticipation heightened. The oversized teddy bear stood tall, its furry presence radiating friendliness. The atmosphere around us buzzed with the infectious enthusiasm of families eagerly awaiting their turn for a warm, plush hug. However, amid the festive ambiance, an unexpected dilemma unfolded within me. Unbeknownst to the vibrant surroundings, a growing pressure in my bowels signaled an impending challenge. I desperately tried to focus on the lively chatter and laughter, but the urgency of the situation intensified with each step forward. Mommy, completely absorbed in the festivities, held my hand with unwavering excitement. The giant teddy bear loomed larger as we approached, its outstretched, furry arms seemingly reaching out for an embrace filled with enchantment. Yet, as we stood in the line, the pressure in my bowels reached a critical point. Panic set in, realizing that this cherished meeting might not go as smoothly as hoped. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I discreetly shifted from one foot to the other, attempting to alleviate the growing discomfort. The line continued to move, and the children ahead reveled in the joy of hugging the giant teddy bear. Glancing nervously at Mommy, I offered a hesitant smile, the internal struggle intensifying with each passing moment. I really wanted to meet “Teddy” and give him a big old bear hug, but the pressure on my bowels were building with each passing seconds. With every step I felt the pressure build and my belly bloat. Soon I felt myself let out a cascade of runny wet fart, with each step. I grabbed my dummy from the front pocket of my shortalls and quickly shoved it between my lips, hoping that my trusty comforter would aid me in my time of need, as I started suckling away, as the goal of meeting “Teddy” Finally, our turn arrived. The giant teddy bear leaned down, its plush arms extended for a warm embrace. Despite the escalating discomfort, I hesitated, grappling with the dilemma unfolding within me. The bear, unaware of the unforeseen challenge, maintained its cheerful demeanor. “Go ahead Honey. Give Teddy, a BIG bear hug” Mommy encouraged, pushing me forward towards the giant mascot Summoning every ounce of courage, I leaned into the teddy bear's embrace, desperately hoping that the discomfort wouldn't escalate further. The bear, committed to preserving the enchantment, interacted with the crowd, blissfully unaware of the unforeseen predicament. As I pressed against the bear's embrace, a familiar warmth spread through me, a sense of comfort in the midst of the rising tension. However, the brief respite was short-lived, as the pressure in my bowels reached a critical point. With a sudden surge of warm liquid, my diaper surrendered to the inevitable, as my bowels emptied themselves into the back of my nappy. A wave of mortification washed over me as I realized the catastrophic turn of events. The warmth spread throughout my diaper, confirming the embarrassing reality. I tried to pull away from the bear's embrace, but its plush embrace held me firmly in place. Despair gripped me as I struggled to maintain my composure. The laughter and chatter of the surrounding crowd seemed to intensify, as if amplifying the depth of my humiliation. I felt a tear well up in my eye, blurring my vision. With a final desperate attempt to regain control, I pushed away from the bear, my diaper now sagging low underneath my onesie and shortalls soggy mess. I turned to Mommy, my face flushed with humiliation, tears streaming down my cheeks, as the pacifier dropped from my mouth. "Mommy, Mommy! I made poppy!" I wailed, my voice trembling with distress. Mommy's eyes widened in surprise, her initial reaction of concern quickly overshadowed by the realization of the situation, as I rushed into her arms, "Oh, sweetheart, it's okay," she soothed, her voice a reassuring balm. " Did you go poppy? It’s okay, Honey, accidents happen, don’t worry." The crowd around us had paused their conversations, their gazes fixed on me. A hush fell over the group, and I felt a hundred pairs of eyes boring into me. The humiliation intensified, and I buried my face in Mommy’s shoulder, the tears continuing to flow. I could feel the warmth of my soiled diaper against my skin, fueling my embarrassment. As she took my hand leading me through the crowd and away from the scene, the whispers grew louder, and I could hear snippets of the conversation. "Did you see that? He pooped his pants!" "Poor kid, I feel so bad for him." "At least he has a loving Mommy to take care of him." The words swirled around me, adding to the chaos of my emotions. I felt like I wanted to disappear, to melt into the background and erase the memory of this humiliating incident. Mommy held me firmly, her comforting presence a beacon amidst the storm of emotions. She shushed me gently, her voice a soothing melody in the midst of the cacophony. Despite her comforting words, I couldn't shake off the feeling of mortification. The warm, damp sensation of my soiled diaper against my skin only fueled my humiliation. As Mommy lead me out of the crowd towards Karen and Granny who had observed the scene from a distance, the tears continuing to flow. The weight of the day's events, the physical strain of the park, and the unexpected mishap had overwhelmed me. “We’re going to find a changing room, he made a real mess of his Nappy. We’ll catch up with you guys.” Mom announced to the rest of the group, before dragging me towards the nearest restroom, tears still streaming down my face. In that moment of vulnerability, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for Mommy's unwavering love and support. Despite my childish outburst and the embarrassing situation, she remained my anchor, her presence a soothing balm to my wounded spirit. "Don't worry, sweetheart," Mommy whispered, her voice a soothing balm against the turmoil within me. "We'll take care of this right away." She navigated through the bustling crowd, her eyes scanning for the nearest restroom sign. A pang of anxiety struck me as I realized we were heading towards the family restroom, a place reserved for babies and toddlers. I imagined the stares, the whispers, the pitying looks. As we reached the family restroom, my tantrum slowly subsided and exhaustion washed over me, my breathing gradually returning to a normal pace. The family restroom, a refuge from the vibrant chaos of the amusement park, unfolded as a spacious haven. Soft, ambient lighting bathed the room, creating a comforting atmosphere within its confines. The walls, adorned with colorful murals depicting whimsical scenes of families enjoying the park, added a touch of playful charm to the space. As we entered, the restroom revealed its thoughtful design. A spacious area accommodated a changing mat, though, in my case, it seemed comically small for my size. The scent of baby wipes lingered in the air, a familiar fragrance that mingled with the subtle hum of the amusement park just beyond the door. “One second baby.” Mommy quickly had my changing mat unfolded on the floor and gently guided me back down onto the soft plastic covered surface. Mommy's hands moved with practiced precision, emphasizing her ability to handle unexpected scenarios. The restroom offered a degree of privacy, shielding us from the lively energy of the amusement park. The soundproofing of the walls provided a sanctuary where the occasional laughter of children outside was a distant melody, allowing us to focus on the immediate task. The bulkier diaper, evidence of the encounter with the park mascot, was efficiently disposed of in a discreet bin. Mommy, with the well-practiced routine of a seasoned caregiver, reached for the wipes and began the cleansing process, each wipe applied with a gentle touch Once the fresh diaper was unfurled, its soft crinkle echoing in the confined space, Mommy secured it with a reassuring precision ensuring the snug fit of the new diaper. The changing room door creaked open, and a mom entered, her one-year-old happily bouncing in her arms. She stopped dead in her tracks for a brief moment, as she caught sight of the women kneeling down in the middle of the charging room in the process of taping her adult overgrown toddler son into a fresh white diaper. Giggles and coos filled the air as she settled her baby on the changing mat beside ours. The colorful, cartoon-themed walls of the family restroom seemed to close in, amplifying the already palpable tension. "Hi there!" the new mom greeted, her eyes momentarily flickering between her own baby and the giant toddler laying sprawled out on the floor in front of her. Mommy, who was mid-diaper change, looked up with a warm smile. "Hello! Looks like we've got a bit of a diaper party going on here." The new mom chuckled, unfolding a changing mat for her little one. "Oh, the joys of parenthood. Diapers, diapers everywhere." As both women got on with their diaper changing duties, a playful atmosphere filled the air. Mommy smiled warmly, "Oh, how adorable is your little one! Such a cutie pie." The other mom beamed with pride, "Thank you! And your little guy here is just precious too. I couldn't help but notice your little one," the new mom finally gestured towards me with a curious smile. "Isn't he a bit big for diapers?" I shifted uncomfortably, aware that my age wasn't the typical topic of conversation for moms changing their babies. Mommy, however, took the lead. "Patrick here is our big baby. He's got his own pace, you know," she chuckled, gently nudging me. The new mom's eyes widened with a mix of surprise and amusement. "Oh, how cute! I didn't realize they made diapers that big." She chuckled. "Oh, I see! You're a big boy, huh?" she cooed at me, causing my cheeks to flush. Mommy joined in the laughter, "Yes, he is. But sometimes, even big babies need a little extra care, right, sweetie?" She winked at me, emphasizing the playful spirit of our outing. The other mom nodded, clearly enjoying the banter. "Absolutely! They grow up so fast, but we have to cherish these moments." Mommy seized the opportunity to make the situation even more entertaining. "And speaking of cherishing moments, Patrick here loves making new friends. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" I glanced at Mommy, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. The other mom played along, "Well, hello there, Patrick! You're such a big boy to be in diapers, aren't you?" I managed a shy nod, my cheeks burning. Mommy, reveling in the camaraderie, teased, "Oh, he's just a big toddler at heart. Diapers and all!" As the two moms continued their friendly banter, Mommy seized the opportunity to add an extra layer of playfulness. She turned to me with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Patrick, sweetie, say hello to the little baby here. Can you wave to your new friend?" Mommy cooed, her tone intentionally exaggerated. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but I obediently lifted my hand in an awkward wave, glancing away from the amused gaze of the other mom. The crinkling of my diaper seemed to mock me as I engaged in this toddler-like gesture. Mommy, not done with her impromptu performance, continued with a giggle, "And what do we say when we meet new friends, Patrick?" I mumbled a shy, "Hi," feeling like a toddler on a playdate rather than a young man on a family outing. The new mom couldn't contain her laughter, finding the whole interaction quite amusing. Mommy, enjoying the light-hearted moment, added one more touch to the act. "Isn't he just the cutest big baby you've ever seen?" The other mom nodded, her amusement evident. "Absolutely adorable!" The two moms shared a hearty laugh, and as we left the changing room, Mommy continued to pat my diapered bottom, adding a final playful remark, "Such a good boy for waving to the baby. Diapers and all!" The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow on the vibrant rides and bustling crowds as our day at the amusement park drew to a close. Families all around the part slowly started to gather their belongings and prepared to leave. Mommy knelt down beside me, offering a comforting smile. "Time to go home, sweetie. We've had such a wonderful day, haven't we?" I glanced around, the colorful lights and cheerful sounds tempting me to stay a little longer. Realzing I’d spent a whole day at the park and not managed to try a single ride, that I ACTUALLY wanted to try, having spent the whole day ridding stupid kiddie rides and the fact that the the day was ending triggered a toddler-like resistance within me. I planted my feet firmly and crossed my arms, a pout forming on my face. "No go home!" I protested, my voice taking on a whiny tone, reminiscent of a stubborn toddler. Mommy chuckled, trying to soothe my protest. "Oh, but we need to go home now. We'll be back another time and next time we’ll try AAAALLLLL the big rides, I promise." I shook my head, my pacifier dangling from my lips. "No home! Want more rides!" A few onlookers couldn't help but smile at the scene unfolding – a seemingly oversized toddler throwing a miniature tantrum. Granny soon knelt down next to me, putting both hands on my shoulders. "Now, now, my little adventurer. We'll come back and have more fun next time, okay?" She cooed, attempting to ease the disappointment. “I think he’s just overtired, Mother.” Mommy announced to Granny gently moving her aside as she grabbed a firm hold of my wrist. “All the lights and sounds is a lot for such a little guy. Isn’t it, Baby?” It wasn’t a much a question as a statement. My feet dug into the pavement, mimicking the stubbornness of a toddler unwilling to leave the playground. A chorus of "No go home!" erupted from my pacifier-clad mouth as Mommy, realizing she couldn't carry her full-grown son, resorted to dragging me gently by the hand. Passersby couldn't help but glance at the spectacle – a young man, dressed like a seemingly oversized toddler diaper an all, throwing a miniature tantrum, pacifier dangling, and Mommy persistently leading the way. Some chuckled at the absurdity, while others exchanged bemused glances. My cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and determination, my pacifier occasionally popping out as I protested the impending departure. Mommy, maintaining her composure, spoke soothing words, promising future visits and more exciting adventures. As we approached the exit gates, my whiny protests echoed louder. The park staff exchanged amused glances, some snapping covert pictures of the unusual scene. Mommy, with a mix of amusement and exasperation, glanced around, catching sight of sympathetic smiles and a few stifled giggles from other park goers. As we neared the exit gates, my toddler-like tantrum drew the attention of the park staff. Among them was Bob, the older male ticket clerk who had scrutinized me earlier. His eyes widened as he witnessed the spectacle, a mixture of surprise and amusement evident on his face. I locked eyes with Bob, who couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight of a pacifier-wielding "toddler" adamantly resisting departure. Mommy, though slightly flustered, shot Bob an apologetic grin, silently acknowledging the entertaining chaos. "Looks like someone's not ready to leave the fun behind," Bob quipped, a playful twinkle in his eye. Mommy chuckled, attempting to explain my theatrical display, "It's been quite the adventure today, hasn't it?" Bob nodded, sharing in the lightheartedness of the moment. "Well, they say every day at the amusement park is an adventure, no matter your age." He winked, his gaze lingering on me. "I suppose that holds true for everyone." With a final wave, we continued our march toward the exit, leaving Bob with a lingering grin. The park staff exchanged amused glances, and a few even offered encouraging smiles, recognizing the challenges of managing a spirited "toddler." As the exit gates swung open, I cast a last pouty glance over my shoulder at the receding attractions, a mix of reluctance and anticipation in my eyes. Grannies minivan awaited us in the parking lot, a cozy haven ready to transport us from the realm of fantasy back to the reality of everyday life. The distant laughter of park goers gradually faded behind us. As Mommy attempted to strap me into the car seat, my toddler-like tantrum reached new heights. I resisted with all the strength my adult-sized body could muster, making it challenging for Mommy to secure the buckles. Jack, snug in his car seat, observed the spectacle with wide-eyed fascination, his innocent gaze registering the unusual drama unfolding. "Come on, sweetie, we need to go home," Mommy cooed, her efforts to soothe me punctuated by my stubborn wails. Aunty Karen and Granny, busy packing the trunk, exchanged bemused glances but maintained their focus on the task at hand. With a final, determined effort, Mommy managed to secure the last buckle, ensuring my safety amidst the chaotic display of emotions. I sat there, pacifier dangling from my lips, a mix of frustration and exhaustion etched on my face. "Alright, little adventurer, we're all set," Mommy declared, before casting a reassuring smile at Jack, who responded with a gurgle of amusement, perhaps finding my antics entertaining. As Aunty Karen and Granny joined us, Mommy leaned against the car, shaking her head in mock exasperation. "Never a dull moment with this one," she remarked, eliciting a shared chuckle from the family. The trunk securely packed, Aunty Karen patted me on the head in a playful attempt to lighten the mood. "We've had our fill of excitement today, haven't we, Patrick?" she teased, her tone a blend of affection and amusement, closing the car door with a sense of accomplishment Granny, the ever-wise matriarch, offered a comforting pat on Mommy's shoulder. "Kids, no matter their age, always find a way to keep us on our toes," she mused, a twinkle of nostalgia in her eyes. With one last glance at the amusement park, I reluctantly settled into my seat, pacifier still in place, my tantrum slowly subsiding into a pout. The minivan's engine hummed to life, signaling the end of our whimsical adventure. As we drove away, the park's colorful lights fading in the distance In the cozy confines of the minivan, my lingering frustration began to ebb away. Mommy, ever attuned to the needs of her oversized toddler, reached into the diaper bag and retrieved a familiar sight – a baby bottle filled with a soothing concoction. The rhythmic sloshing of the liquid inside mirrored the gentle sway of the car as we journeyed back to Granny's house. "Here you go, sweetheart," Mommy said, offering the bottle with a tender smile. The sight of the familiar nipple and the comforting warmth of the beverage stirred a sense of calm within me. I hesitated for a moment, casting a glance at Jack, who was happily babbling away in his own world. The juxtaposition of the baby bottle in my hands felt strangely fitting yet undeniably surreal. As I tentatively took the bottle, Mommy's eyes lit up with encouragement. "That's it, Patrick. Sometimes, a little comfort is all we need," she whispered, her voice a soothing melody. The silicone nipple met my lips, and with each sip, a wave of tranquility washed over me. The sweetness of the liquid, combined with the rhythmic suckling, created a cocoon of serenity. The car's interior became a haven of peace, shielding me from the complexities of the world outside. Aunty Karen, glancing back from the front seat, couldn't help but chuckle. "Look at him, Susan. Our big boy finally found his peace," she remarked, her tone filled with both amusement and genuine affection. The drive continued, the familiar scenery passing by as the sun dipped below the horizon. In the gentle glow of the fading day, I sat there – a grown man in a diaper, pacifier in hand, nursing a baby bottle. As the minivan pulled into Granny's driveway, the soft hum of the engine ceased. Guided by the strong grip of Mommy, with the baby bottle still in hand, I stepped out of the minivan, pacifier dangling from my lips. “It’s an early bedtime for you, Mister” She declared while guiding me towards the house. The adventures of the day and my previous tantrum had left me groggy and unable to muster a fight. I knew that it was way too early for bedtime, even earlier than usual, but I couldn’t be bothered arguing or fighting it. The thought of being tucked in my Mommy in a warm soft bed, actually seemed like a treat at that moment and I looked forward to being sung to sleep by her soft calm voice. In the dimly lit bedroom of Granny's house, Mommy guided me towards the bed. The soft glow of the sunset worked almost as a nightlight and created a subdued atmosphere, casting a warm ambiance over the room. Despite being in my twenties, I found myself surrendering to the infantile unconventional routine. "Already wet again" Mommy announced, seemingly more to herself, as her finger passed by the by my onesie and slipped into my diaper, before she with a gentle touch, eased me back down onto the changing mat, that had been placed on the bed. The onesie, adorned with playful teddy bears and building blocks, was removed, leaving me clad only in the remnants of the day's adventures – a well-used diaper. Mommy's fingers skillfully undid the tapes with a series of delicate "POP! POP! POP!" that echoed in the room. As the used diaper was lifted away, Mommy continued her commentary in a sing-song voice, "Oh, what a messy little boy you are. Yes, you are!" The playful babytalk created an intimate atmosphere. A stack of baby wipes, scented with a subtle hint of lavender, awaited its role in the nighttime ritual. Each wipe was applied with a gentle touch, accompanied by Mommy's soothing words. "All clean and fresh now, my precious one," she cooed, her voice a comforting melody. My nighttime diaper, as always thicker and more absorbent, was unfolded with a soft crinkle of plastic. Mommy, still immersed in the babytalk narrative, ensured the snug fit of the fresh diaper, fastening the velcro tabs with maternal precision. "There we go, snug as a bug in a rug," she playfully remarked, her affectionate tone resonating with the whimsy of the moment. The onesie, now a dark blue color and adorned with nighttime designs of moons, starts and clouds, was lovingly pulled over my diapered form, completing the transformation into a bedtime-ready "toddler." With a tender kiss on my forehead, Mommy tucked me in, Mr. BunnyRabbit nestled close. “Nighty, night, Sweetheart” She whispered, gently placing a binky between my lips, before she slowly started caressing my cheek with her soft palm. As I settled into the bed, gently sucking my dummy, the voice of mommy just like the night before gently started to fill the room, the melody of a lullaby, the same as last night, calming and soothing echoed in the bedroom. She sat next to me on the edge of the bed, gently stroking my hair as she continued to sing, the volume of the voice getting lower and lower, until it was almost just a whisper. With each verse, I felt the weight of the day lift from my shoulders. The setting sun cast its gentle glow, creating a cocoon of warmth, as my eyes slowly closed and I drifted off. “Good night, my sweet baby.” Was the last words I heard, before my mind went blank.

ANIMAL HOUSE In the immortal words of Yogi Berra, Ian mused, it's deja vu all over again. But at least I'm not dealing with asswipes like Marmalard and Neidermeyer. Now, Babs and Mandy are a different story … Turning his head to the left, Ian spotted Candy sitting on one of the couches. She was delicately exploring her upper lip with the tip of her tongue, all the while staring at him, never blinking. Is Candy Mandy? Gotta be … Jee-zus, they are both so unbelievably hot! And where's Babs … er … Becky? Ian craned his neck, but he couldn't spot her. Animal House had become his new favorite film, in no small part because the asswipes all got theirs in the end, and the screw-ups scored all the hot chicks. The Nam had been full of the Douglas Neidermeyers of this world, and so many of them had been fragged by their own troops that the life expectancy of a second looey fresh off the United charter at Tan Son Nhat had been precisely sixteen days. Sixteen days! So, yeah, it's like I'm pledging a fuckin' sorority or something, and the ritual spanking lies dead ahead. What's the name of this outfit? Oh, yeah … The Circle. Oh...kay … fine … whatever … so long as it's not the friggin' Delta Tau Chi. I wonder how much they paid Kevin Bacon for the privilege of lighting up his ass? It was the same chair, sitting in the same spot in the middle of Rita's living room. The same crowd was in attendance. Only this time Ian was straddling Vicki's lap, and Sarah was just one more face in the circle of Harpies, two of whom were plainly relishing his forthcoming humiliation. And yet it was all subtly different. For one thing, Ian wasn't drunk, and he didn't like the way in which Vickie had pinned his right arm and trapped his legs between her well proportioned thighs. His shoulder was on fire, and he knew that it would only get worse if he tried to move. Vickie clearly knew what she was doing. Sarah had been all business, and his inaugural spanking had hurt like hell, but he had sensed throughout that there was no anger in her, and the conviction that she would cause him great pain but never endanger him had been overwhelming. Sarah was no sadist. He wasn't so sure about Vickie. For one thing, she was taking her time, caressing his cheeks and thighs, one languid, sensual stroke after another, the only interruption the occasional passage of her well manicured fingernails over his exposed thighs. Every cell in his body was on fire, Little Ian Junior was badly misbehaving, and all Ian wanted to do was get up, throw Vickie to the floor, tear her clothes off, stick it to her, and pound her and pound her and pound her … SMACK! Ian howled, more in surprise than in pain. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! The pain was incandescent, four blows delivered to the exact same spot on his right cheek, three of them rapid fire. He would never have believed that a lousy spanking could hurt this bad. Vickie ran her fingernails lightly up and down his left thigh, up and down … SMACK! More fingernails, more soft caresses … SMACK! SMACK! The top of his thigh … SMACK! SMACK! The middle … Then, without warning … SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! The blows rained down on his right cheek, so close, so close to where Vicki had started. Ian screamed. He screamed so loud that he was sure some neighbor would call the police. But Donna Sumner was drowning him out, the disco beat a perverse counterpoint to his own cries. Vickie really did know what she was doing. SMACK! SMACK! Vickie was tracing lazy circles across his left cheek, which had finally attracted her attention. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Rising and falling … rising and falling … Vickie wasn't holding back … Vickie was raining fire down upon Ian's ass and thighs, lighting them up, crimson everywhere, a few spots already turning a bit purple. Without warning, she stopped. For long moments, the only sound in the room was Ian's whimpering. A shadow crossed Ian's line of vision, what little he could see, his head dangling almost uselessly, his tongue lolling. Someone grabbed his hair, and jerked his head up. Through his tears, Ian found himself staring up into Sarah's eyes. There was no pity there … none at all. Suddenly, he was very, very frightened. . . . . Time stopped, or so it seemed. No one spoke. No one coughed. No one moved. The ritual had reached its first intermission. “Twenty-five spanks, Ian; that's all it took. Twenty-five spanks, and you are bawling like a baby. But that's okay, because you have been acting like a baby from the very beginning. And I warned you that this is what it would be like if you mouthed off, disobeyed, broke your promise to me. Now, have you had enough, or do you want more? You are coming to Houghton with me tomorrow; there will be no discussion about this. The only thing in question is how many times Vickie has to spank you before you give in. Say yes, and it's over. Say no, and you will receive another twenty-five … the price of defiance. We can do this all night, Ian, and we will. I promise you … we will.” “But yesterday …" he blubbered, "yesterday, you said that I could stay with Rita ...” “I've changed my mind, Ian-- a mother's prerogative.” She dropped his head, and looked hard at Vickie. “Let's resume.” Vickie had been absently tracing circles on Ian's now fiery red ass. Her hand paused … SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Left … SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Right … SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! She peppered Ian's thighs, then began the cycle anew. Counting to twenty-four, Vickie paused, aimed, a determined look on her face … SMACK! Ian was whimpering … he had run out of tears. . . . . “You want me to treat you like a baby, Ian; you were very clear about that.” Sarah was squatting in front of him, her hand cupping his chin, forcing him to look into her eyes. “You wanted to be helpless. Well, how does it feel, having your wish come true? How does it feel, knowing now that your mommy is very, very strict, and won't put up with your nonsense? This is your future, Ian … look into my eyes, and tell me that this is what you want-- a mommy who will discipline you every, single time that you step out of line. Happy, now?” “I don't ...” “Oh, so you don't want to be a baby, now? Is that what you're trying to say? You've changed your mind? You want to be my lover, now … my husband? Come home from work to find supper waiting on the table … grab a beer … make love to me with the booze on your breath? Sing Auld Lang Syne every New Year's eve?” “Just look at you,” she sneered; “what a pathetic excuse for a man. And where did you really get shot? Come on, Ian, tell us, because we all want to know, you being such a great, big war hero and all. How many purple hearts did they pin on your chest, how many?” “Four,” he whispered, his voice swimming up from the depths of his pain. “Four.” Sarah looked sharply at Rita, both of them instantly understanding that they had finally achieved a breakthrough. Sarah bit down hard on her emotions, willed herself not to give up ground so painfully won. “Oh, really? And just where,” she snapped, “are you keeping your little trophies, if they actually exist?” “... office,” he sighed, trying to draw breath into heaving lungs; “in my … desk … drawer ...” “Let's go home, Ian. We have a long drive ahead of us, and I'll need to pack a bag for you.” Sarah stood up, hands on hips, looking down on him-- a goddess commanding the heights of Olympus. “No.” It was all that he managed to say, but even in a whisper, one couldn't miss the conviction in his voice. Oh, shit, Rita thought. She was staring at Vickie, who in turn was staring at Sarah with one of those looks that said who the hell are you, anyway? Ian convulsed, and Vickie instantly relaxed her grip. She could feel the sobs wracking his body. But she was staring at Sarah, suddenly realizing that neither of them had derived any pleasure from this spanking at all. But Sarah had used her, turned her into a cheap prop on a movie set of her own design. Vickie wasn't feeling it, and now she knew why. Gently, she eased Ian off her lap. “I'm done here.” It was all she could manage to say. She slowly stood up, her eyes now riveted on the broken but somehow unyielding man curled up at her feet-- a completely naked man whose pain stemmed from a source hidden deep in his past, pain that he had been fleeing for years, taking refuge, like thousands of other vets, in the bottle. She was fine with catharsis, but the way Rita and Sarah were going about it sickened her to her very core. Looking down, watching him curl up into a fetal ball, it dawned on Victoria Robinson that Ian Grady mattered a very great deal to her. She just didn't know why. Pausing only to gather her things, Vickie went down the stairs to put on her boots, open the door, and step silently out into the Arctic night.

LOVELY RITA (NOT THE METER MAID) “We didn't say goodbye,” Ian astutely observed. They had crossed the bridge, forsaking the duchy of cheese for the kingdom of potholes. Minnesota, it was well known, had only two seasons-- winter, and road repair. It was winter, the potholes yawned, and the paranoid side of his nature was actively wondering whether Sarah was deliberately hitting each and every one of them on what laughingly passed for an interstate in this frozen land of 10,000 ice rinks. “More like 17,000.” Ian was kind of, sort of, thinking out loud. “What's that, baby?” Sarah's eyes were glued firmly to the road ahead. She had only busted one axle in the kingdom of potholes in ten years. She considered herself overdue, which was why she was driving her beater. The Mercedes, battery long since disconnected, was sitting out the winter in a converted barn in the far western suburbs. Like the Phoenix, it would rise from the ashes sometime in April. And poor Ian's beater is down for the count, buried in a snowbank right outside my living room window. And it's his only car. Maybe I'll get it up and running for him come Spring … Or maybe not … Sarah stole a quick glance at her boyfriend. He was plastered but, she suspected, not nearly as much as he wanted to be. Still, he had passed the test. Rita had given her a quick thumbs up, so they were good to go. I like the idea of him not having wheels. It makes him so much more dependent … THWACK!!! The right side of the car bounced hard, and more pee squirted into Ian's now well and truly soaked diaper. “Sarah,” he whined, “I need my diaper changed.” “I know, baby, I know. But you'll just have to hold on a little while longer.” Sarah had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. The six of them had variously walked and staggered out together, and Sarah and her friends had let Ian get just far enough ahead so that they could survey the damage. His pants were ruined, his baby pants having given up the fight at some point in the evening. But she did hope to save his winter coat, and she wasn't at all worried about the car seat. She had taken the necessary precautions. “I should have changed back there, at the … at the …DANGER ZONE?” His memories were getting a bit fuzzy. “DEAD ZONE,” Sarah corrected. “And we tried, baby, remember? But your changing pad is pretty small, too small to lay you out inside a Wisconsin toilet. 'Gross' doesn't even begin to cover it.” Wisconsin's bars all had toilets. The law was strict, and strictly enforced. Most of them were even inside. But they were not for the faint of heart. Sarah judged the evening so far to have gone very well. She and her friends had set him up, but it was obvious that Ian didn't suspect a thing. She had said nothing as the beer kept coming, gambling that the alcohol would get him to drop his guard. And it had. His admission, his deep-seated desire to be both her lover and her widdle baby, had been heartfelt. Ian, she now knew, was perfect for her, because Sarah harbored no illusions about her own needs. A single woman in her early thirties didn't have that luxury. She couldn't compete with a twenty year old fresh out of some nursing program, which is where the jerks went shopping when they came to the conclusion that their wives had reached their sell by date. And she most definitely did not like what she saw when she looked ten years into the future. No. Ian was perfect, or as close to perfect as she was ever likely to get. A dominant needed a submissive, not a narcissist whose ego would forever get in her way. Sarah wanted obedience, not competition, but the tricky part of it was that she also wanted a man whom she could respect. And Ian, she had concluded, fit that bill as well. No Robert Redford, but decent looking … she was particularly taken with the unruly mop that passed for the hair on his head. She was forever sweeping it out of his eyes. Not simply bright but quick on his feet, and with a wonderful sense of humor born of a genuinely jaded outlook on life. God, how he could make her laugh. She had asked him about the craziest thing that he had ever done, and what she got for her trouble was Hong Kong, in Technicolor and Panavision. The search for Suzie Wong … getting drunk and being thrown into the street … passing out … waking up in his hotel room, thanks to a kind but anonymous policeman who must have found the room key in his pocket. It was all so real, and she had believed every word of it! The next morning, she had raced to get him to his office a bit early, so that she could rush to the hospital, take over the staff room, and regale her friends with the lurid details of her new boyfriend's R&R visit to Hong Kong. Her increasingly bright-eyed colleagues had roared with laughter of their own, and in the manner of gossip mills everywhere, the story had soon climbed from her own third floor to Rita's seventh. At lunch, more and more of her friends drifted into the cafeteria from every nook and cranny of this vast, cavernous building, everyone wanting to know who the guy was, how they'd met, and the big one, of course … where was this going? Was he the One? And Sarah had held nothing back. They had met, she warned them, in the theater of the absurd, and she gave a blow by blow description of the stereo from Hell, and the puppy like eagerness with which her poor neighbor had sought to placate her. But confusion took the place of gleeful laughter when she described how she had taken him firmly by the hand and led him upstairs for an overdue diaper change. She could see it in their faces as she looked down the long table, the same doubt that had overtaken her and instantly led her to jump to the wrong conclusion. And the laughter died when she described what the military had left buried in his spine. A lot of army nurses had resigned their commissions at war's ignominious end, and they had come home to hospitals such as this, bringing with them embellished tales of the goings on at places like China Beach. They all knew the drill-- a MASH unit stabilized, but the badly wounded were taken out of theater to be reevaluated and treated in Japan, Hawaii or stateside at a facility like Walter Reed. It spoke volumes that Ian had not been scheduled for additional surgery. Unprompted, one of her friends asked if he had talked about the war, about what he had experienced in combat. Sarah sadly shook her head no, and all around the table other heads nodded in understanding. So many of them had been there, and the wall had frustrated them so many times. Sarah described Ian's apartment, the telling absence of family photos, no hint of his service to his country, and the vivid and deeply disturbing painting of the sea giving up its dead. More heads nodded, the implications stark. Without words, Sarah was asking for help, making it clear that Ian had, however unwittingly, become her responsibility. Her gaze had fallen on Rita, in reality a charge nurse in the psych ward with an advanced degree in clinical psychology. And equally unspoken, Rita had simply bobbed her head: she was there, and she would help. Sarah would not have to do this by herself. And it was to Rita Stevenson's town home in a decidedly upscale neighborhood that they were now driving. . . . . Ian opened his eyes and glanced out the window, then frowned. “This isn't the way home. Where … where are we going?” “To Rita's.” Sarah had thought long and hard about this moment. She had decided to jump on the first opportunity that presented itself, and equally to keep her response short and sweet. Ian had to learn that this wasn't a game, and that she meant it when she said that she expected obedience, and did not want it to come laced with backtalk. “But I don't want ...” “I don't care what you want,” cutting him off before he could get another word out. “This is a tradition, and you are now a part of it. We celebrate the end of another brutal week, toast the lives that we've saved, mourn the lives that we've lost, and then we go to Rita's to kick back, relax and, if you want, get more drunk. Just about anything goes … BUT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WHINE AND CARRY ON LIKE SOME PETULANT TWO YEAR OLD, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN THIS EVENING FOR MY FRIENDS!” Sarah's voice has jumped at least two octaves. “You are in big trouble, Ian,” she said more calmly. “Big trouble. When we get home, you are going straight over my lap for a long overdue spanking. Do you want to double down and have me graduate from a hand spanking to the ping pong paddle that's in a drawer … the paddle with your name on it? We have an agreement, remember? Heh … how could you forget … IT'S NOT EVEN TWO HOURS OLD! You do not whine. You do not talk back. You obey me, and you do so without question unless you have an absolutely compelling reason to disobey. Am I getting through to you?” Ian sank deeper into the cushion, but there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. This is not, he thought, how first dates were supposed to go. . . . . Sarah pulled up to the curb, and the first thing that Ian noticed was the sheer number of cars in the cul de sac. In fact, they had had to park so far away that Ian wasn't even sure what house was party central. The one thing he knew for certain was that he was about to set out on yet another safari in a very, very wet diaper. The prospect inspired a passing but nevertheless bizarre thought … If we're outside long enough, can a pissy diaper freeze solid? Clumsily following Rita up the road through slush that turned every outing into a muddy adventure, one alcohol inspired bit of whimsy led straight to another … How do you remove a diaper that's frozen solid to a guy's butt? With a blowtorch? Ian really, really wanted to go home. “Are you going to be a good boy for mommy?” Sarah's tone reeked of condescension, which momentarily neutralized the alcohol flowing so copiously through his blood stream. He was in big trouble … he was wet … he was shivering … and he somehow knew that he was about to become the center of attention for a gaggle of nurses who already knew far too much of his life story. What else could go wrong? . . . . “Door's open,” Rita shouted. Ian followed Sarah inside, and looked around. Cramped entryway, with stairs leading both up and down. The classic split level entry design that he had already surveyed at three dinner parties to which he had been invited by different faculty wives. Unattached professors in their early thirties were a hot commodity. Shoes everywhere, and Sarah was in the process of adding hers to the pile. “Let me help you take yours off, baby,” she whispered. “We do not want to track slush onto Rita's carpet.” Ian went to sit on the steps and get to it, but Sarah held up her hand to stop him in his tracks. “Baby, the dam has long since burst. Try not to sit down until we get you changed, because you are going to leave pee stains everywhere.” One by one, Ian lifted his feet so that Sarah could untie and remove his shoes. He felt exactly like the two year old that he was rapidly becoming. “Now remember, baby, be polite, and be attentive. And above all, be respectful. Think of the women here as your aunties, and never forget that paddles come in twos, and that Rita has the second one with your name on it somewhere in this house.” “What,” he squeaked. “Are you seriously telling me that you have given Rita permission to spank me?” “Yes.” “And the others?” “Yes. Ian, this has all been prearranged. My friends are giving me the night off. In a few minutes, one of them will be changing your diaper, and you are going to smile nicely and thank her for her kindness. And if you bitch and moan, you are going right over her lap. So, don't. Just sit back … lay back … and enjoy being the center of attention … loving attention. Think of it like a trip to a very expensive spa, where the entire staff is devoted to fulfilling your every need. Only this visit is cost-free.” “Yeah, sure, the only thing that I'm going to lose is my self-respect.” “That is strictly up to you. No one here is going to belittle you; the worst that can happen is that someone's maternal instinct runs a little wild, and you end up being openly treated like a baby. If that happens, do you think that you are going to win anyone over by going off the deep end? Why not play along? If your ego is secure, a little role-playing isn't going to rock the boat, and what you will win at the end of the evening is friends for life, a group of highly trained professional women who will become your fiercest advocates, and who will bend heaven and earth to help me keep you safe.” “Sarah, okay … all right … I'll play along, but I did not, repeat did not, sign on for this. All right, I admit it, I didn't read the fine print in our agreement. In retrospect, I was far too casual about this … it simply never occurred to me that you would go this far. You spanking me? Yeah, I guess that's reasonable … I'm good with that. But lovely Rita the meter maid? No. Candy? Yeah, maybe Candy, but look me in the eye and tell me that you are okay with Candy changing my diaper, never mind spanking me. The competition's right in your face! Are you blind?” Ian was sobering up fast, and he wasn't happy about it. “I will deal with Candy, Ian; she is not your problem. And if she wins the lottery, you will treat her with the same respect that you would anybody else.” “The lottery?” “You haven't met Vickie and Reiko yet, but you will in a few moments. You're soaked, your pants are a mess, so very, very shortly there is going to be a drawing, and the winner gets the highly dubious honor of changing you into a nice, dry diaper, plus the far more banal task of trying to figure out how to salvage the disaster zone that your overheated imagination somehow regards as decent clothing. If you want to worry about anything, worry about the very real possibility that you are going to spend the rest of the night sitting around in nothing more than a diaper and your baby pants. Oh, but if you treat Rita nicely, she may just be able to come up with a onesie in your size. I gave her your measurements, and she raided the hospital stores, so it is in your best interest to play the suck-up.” Sarah had to all but frog march Ian up the stairs. . . . . “In here,” Rita waved from the dining room. Drinks in hand, Becky, Marge and Candy were comfortably sprawled on two large sofas in the living room, a TV blaring in the background. Sarah smiled at the room in general as she soldiered on. Ian bowed slightly in Marge's direction, figuring that she was the senior of the three. Two other nurses were seated at the dining room table, one of them an Asian woman whom he reckoned to be in her mid-twenties. The other was clearly from the same brood as the four amigas. Both rose from their seats, looking to their hostess to introduce them. “Ian, I'd like you to meet the last two members of our tight little circle. This is Vickie Robinson...” “Hi, Ian.” She offered her hand, and Ian clasped it in both of his own. “It's a pleasure to meet you at last,” Ian replied, his tone warm, insincere, but hopefully convincing. Bar bait, he instantly decided. The cocktail lounges in the airport hotels along the Strip were overflowing with phony-baloney blondes, predators on the prowl for easy prey. A gainfully employed single man in his thirties needed to tread warily. A needy nerd, Vickie decided, but with a very spankable ass! “And this is Reiko Matsumura,” Rita went on, wrapping an arm around her diminutive colleague. “Konbanwa, Matsumura-san. Genkidesuka?” “O kake-sa made genkidesu,” surprise lighting up the young Japanese woman's delicate features. "Anata mo,” she politely queried in return. “Omutsu-gee,” Ian laughed while offering her a polite bow. His voice had fallen a full octave at the end, drawing out the last syllable, signaling his desire both to honor her and to be playful. Reiko clapped her hands in delight. “Ian, you speak my native language beautifully, and your accent is perfect! “Arigatou gozaimasu,” Ian again formally replied, offering her a second small bow. “Reiko, what are the two of you on about?” Rita hadn't understood a word. “Oh, we were just exchanging greetings, and when I asked Ian how he was doing, he said ...” Reiko burst out laughing. “He said that he needed his diaper changed!” Ian could hear laughter erupting all around him, laughter and the warm clapping of hands, but when he stole a quick glance at Sarah, he knew that she was appraising his performance, knowing it all to be an act. Sarah nodded her head ever so slightly, acknowledging the skillful way in which he had won over the room so effortlessly. People who could poke fun at themselves found it easy to make friends. “Well, Ian, from the looks of your slacks, I'd say that we need to get you out of your clothes, clean you up, and get you into a nice, dry diaper and a fresh pair of baby pants pronto.” Rita had given him the proverbial once-over, from head to toe. “So, take off your overcoat,and your jacket, and we'll get the draw under way.” While Ian began to disrobe, Rita fetched a bowl in which he could see several small pieces of crudely folded paper. “Everyone here except Sarah has written her first initial on a scrap of paper and dropped it into the bowl,” Rita explained, handing the bowl to Sarah. “Ian, you will draw a name, and whomever you choose will have the delightful task of changing your diaper, and the solemn task of sitting in judgment on your clothing, deciding with no right of appeal whether it shall be dispatched to the washing machine, or to the trash bin. Let the drawing begin!” Rita and her two playmates joined the others in the living room, leaving Sarah to stand in the doorway, the bowl gripped tight. Ian took his place beside her, nodded vaguely to the assembled throng, his fingers dancing among the scraps of paper, and then he slowly, slowly drew one from the bowl … opened it … “And the winner is … Ree-tah,” he loudly proclaimed into the teeth of a chorus of boos and groans. Ian frowned. He was suspicious by nature, and he really wondered. Before Sarah could retreat, he hastily reached back into the bowl and pulled out a second scrap. He opened it... “Rita,” he announced, nodding solemnly; “this lottery has been rigged!!!!” “That's right,” Rita screamed. “I go first, but everyone will get a chance to diaper the baby! We shall ply him with booze, rivers and rivers of booze, and oceans of pee will crash on the shore! The only question remaining is who shall get to clean his dirty bottom, for Sarah has assured me that, after consuming a mountain of grease at dinner, it is only a matter of time before the volcano erupts!!!” Cheers erupted all over the living room, and Ian couldn't resist. He pulled Rita roughly into his arms, pressing his soggy diaper and ruined slacks hard into her skirt, before breaking out in impromptu verse … “Lovely Rita meter maid May I inquire discreetly When are you free to take some tea with meeeee ...” More boos rocked the room, and then someone threw a paperback novel in their direction. . . . . “This is the guest bedroom,” Rita noted. She had led Ian swiftly down the hall. She had a hospital changing pad spread out on the bed, and an open but still empty diaper pail at its foot. There was a ping pong paddle hanging on the wall above the headboard. Ian gulped, and hesitantly pointed in its direction. “Is that … uh … is that what I think it is?” “I don't know, Ian; what do you think it is?” “Ah … uhm … well ...” Ian didn't know it, but he was shuffling his feet like a four year old who had just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Rita thought he looked adorable. “Uhm, Sarah said that she was going to spank me when we get home … a hand spanking, I guess because I've been mouthy. But she warned me that she would paddle me if I did anything to ruin your evening. And she … she said that you had a paddle too, and wouldn't hesitate to use it on me. Is that true?” “It is,” Rita replied simply. “And you should know that at least two of The Circle are looking forward to spanking you. They tell me that the orgasm is unbelievably intense, and I believe them.” “Vickie.” It was a statement of fact. “Yes,” Rita conceded, “but you will have to figure out the second one for yourself. On the whole, though, it's probably better that you don't know. Now, let's get you out of these nasty clothes.” Rita removed his shirt and undershirt. Both went into the diaper pail. Then she unbuckled and unzipped his trousers. Cautiously easing the soaked material over his baby pants, she knelt and, bidding him to use her shoulders for balance, got him to raise his feet so that she could free his legs. A brief glance told her that the pants were a write-off, but the socks also went into the pail. She would empty out his pockets later. Ian was now standing quietly before her, clad only in a visibly leaky diaper and vinyl pants. He remained silent as she lowered the pants, noting with satisfaction that Sarah had used the four pin method. This was why Ian was experiencing so little diaper sag. The diaper went straight into the pail, and she put her hand on his chest. A gentle push was enough to get him to sit and, without bidding, to lie back on the changing pad. The vinyl pants came next, now sliding easily down his legs. “Ian, I want you to work with me here.” He looked up at her, clearly not understanding what she meant. Rita sighed, sat down at his side, and took his hand in her own. Her grip was gentle but firm. “Ian, what do you think this party is about?” “You're blowing off steam,” he said instantly. “Yes and no. What do you think is the worst thing that can happen to a doctor or nurse?” “Losing a patient.” Too easy. “Not quite … it's losing a patient … doing irreparable harm … because we make a mistake. Fear of it haunts us, Ian, all the good people who should be in this profession-- and it's why the divorce rate is so high, and the alcoholism. A very real Sword of Damocles forever hangs over our heads.” She squeezed his hand more tightly, willing him to understand. “When you told Sarah that the MASH team chose to leave the bullet nudging your spinal cord, an alarm bell went off in her head, and when she told us, that alarm bill began ringing hospital wide. We're a family, Ian, and we look out for one another, help as best we can in the bad moments. And now you are a part of our family.” Rita was shaking her head, again willing him to understand. “Do you think that anyone here is so callous or … or, so wasted that she would spank you capriciously? Blindly? Knowing that a single misplaced stroke could put you in a wheelchair? God, Ian, don't you get it? When Sarah told us that you would need to be disciplined, we paired off in teams .. all of us … and we spanked each other! We took notes, isolated the safe swats from the dangerous, and we sat down and talked it out as a group. All of us, even Vickie, is on board. You will be punished, and the punishment will hurt … it's not a punishment if it doesn't … but you will never be in danger … never!” Ian began to cry, silent tears dropping onto his drunken cheeks. Rita gently caught them on her fingertips. “And that's why I need you to work with me now, Ian … the simple act of changing your diaper has risk, but if we work as a team, we can make the risk go away. Now, I'm going to push on your knees, help you ease them up so that you can hold them up for me. Then, I'm going to slide a fresh diaper under you, wipe you, powder you, and then we will lower your legs and I'll wipe and powder your genitals, pull your diaper up, and pin it … four pins, two at the hips and two at the thighs. Then, I'm going to pull a fresh pair of vinyl pants up your legs, but to get past your hips I will need you to lift … straight up. But under no circumstances are you to turn, however slightly, to left or right. Do you understand me?” “Yes,” he whispered. Ian took elaborate care changing his own diapers, but he had made mistakes, and every misstep had ended in a painful jolt along the sciatic nerve. He too had a Sword of Damocles hanging over his head. He never tried to hide from the fact that the jolts terrified him. “Then, let's begin,” and Rita pressed on his legs to start the process. When they were finished, Rita got a firm grip on Ian's hands and eased him up, taking extreme care not to twist his torso in the slightest. “We make a good team,” Ian offered. And they hugged. “Only because you're a good patient,” Rita smiled. “But then, you've got a good teacher.” Rita once again sat on the bed beside him. “We've got a lot of this figured out. Sending someone to your office at lunch time to change you is a piece of cake, and likewise at three … that's our shift change. The one we haven't got a handle on is mid-morning. Right now, for that one, you'll be on your own.” Ian nodded. “And now,” Rita continued, “I have a really big favor to ask you. But please, don't say yes if this is too much for you.” He studied her, the curiosity written all over his face. “Your first spanking … the one Sarah is giving you? I'd like you to receive it in the living room later tonight, with everyone watching.” “Why” was all Ian could get out. “Because, as surreal as this must sound, we all want to evaluate Sarah's performance. In clinical terms, we want to study how she responds to your cries. Will she know when it's safe to proceed, or time to back off? The only way she'll know for sure is if you are working with her … guiding her. It sounds insane, but she will be relying on you to manage your spanking. You have to work as a team, just as we worked as a team a few minutes ago. And you have to be honest, not cheat even around the edges, because the spanking cannot stop until you show genuine contrition. But more than anything else, you can't play the macho man, guide her as an act of male pride to do something that would cause lasting damage. Ian, she won't admit it, not even to herself, but she loves you … and she's fallen so hard and so fast that it's almost frightening. And you can destroy her. Don't. Don't run away from your feelings, don't hide … share everything that you feel, openly and honestly. Can you do this?” Not when I'm sober … no fucking way! "In vino veritas?” He was offering Rita a deal, this for that. “In vino veritas,” she agreed. They hugged a second time, two strangers who would never be strangers again. Rita had left a onesie on the headboard. She would finish dressing him, and then they would rejoin The Circle.

DATING IN THE DEAD ZONE Ian Grady's head was on a swivel, taking in the vast expanse of the dance floor, and the bizarre assemblage of customers and staff scattered around the perimeter. Well, Toto, he mentally shrugged, I guess we're not in Kansas anymore … In point of fact, he was in Wisconsin. Ian had never been in the navy, but he had nevertheless visited many an exotic port of call. Indeed, he was perversely proud of the fact that he had once passed out, dead drunk, in the middle of a busy road in Causeway Bay. He was ten when he had experienced his first and only crush on an actress, so it was only natural that he had taken his R&R in Hong Kong, wandering the streets in search of his beloved Suzie Wong. But he had searched in vain, finally admitting that the rumor that Suzie had absconded to Japan with Bill Holden, and that the two of them were still there and living in sin … well, it had to be true. He had drowned his sorrows in a bar, and he had only stopped drinking when he ran out of money. Management, singularly unimpressed, had rather rudely chucked him into the street, and there he had promptly passed out. It was a good memory. And now he was in THE DEAD ZONE; more to the point, Sarah had arranged for them to be seated in a lobotomized version of a classic 1950 Woody Wagon. The roof was gone. Save for the back seats, the whole of the interior had been torn out. Some madman had installed a sliding table which, in the manner of a baby's high chair, now had them neatly locked in. Ian wanted to cry. “Look over there,” Sarah whispered into his ear while busily waving at four young women sitting at a boringly regular table on the other side of the dance floor. “They work in the psych unit up on the seventh floor. Left to right, that's Becky, Rita, Candy and Marge. We owe Rita; she's the one who got me the locking mittens that you're wearing to bed at night.” Ian winced. But he had to admit that his fingernails were getting longer. “You have got to be kidding me,” he grumbled. “Do you seriously expect me to believe that your hospital employs a nurse named Candy?” Sarah allowed her professional mask to slip into place. “Yes, and we also have two orderlies named Amos and Andy.” She looked at him sternly. “Don't stereotype.” Ian loved it when Sarah went all Nurse Ratched on him. “Well,” he added in a transparent attempt to change the subject, “they must feel right at home here. I mean, it's like we've entered The Twilight Zone. Rod Serling seated us, and so far both Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin have swung by to take our order and bring us our drinks.” “But I'm holding out for Suzie Wong,” he muttered, apropos of nothing. Sarah looked at him curiously, and then casually ran her fingers over his well padded crotch. “We're across the river, Ian, in neutral territory. And the bars here are open an hour later than in Minnesota. The burgers are great, the fries house cut, and the chocolate shakes to die for.” Still running her fingers over the bulk of his diapers and sensing the smoothness of the baby pants beneath his slacks, Sarah opted to pout. “I thought that you'd like it here, but if you don't like it, we'll finish our drinks and leave. Just don't take it out on them.” She nodded at her friends across the room. “Don't worry, I'll be good.,” he laughed. “But at some point, we need to go over and say hi … you know, the whole 'hi, this is my boyfriend' routine? Nip the hospital rumor mill in the bud, so to speak.” Ian reached for his beer. This was their first real date, and he had a serious case of the heebie-jeebies, but the alcohol helped. More alcohol would help even more, he decided. “Oh, we will, we will … I guarantee you. Rita knows all about you, and I know that she's anxious to meet you.” “You told her … everything?” “Yes … and stop worrying about it,” she added in an exasperated tone. “Ian, how many times do I have to say it? We're professionals. You're my neighbor who has graduated to the exalted rank of boyfriend. You were wounded, it's left you incontinent, and you're in diapers. For the five of us, this is just another day at the office. No one here is going to question your manhood ...” Except me, she perversely thought, and I'm going to keep my mouth shut until I get a handle on why your flag's not even flying at half mast when I'm changing you ... “... so when we get together, please try and be gracious and charming. You can be, you know? Oh, you have your off moments, but for the most part you are far and away the sweetest person I've ever met. The sweetest and the most honest.” But don't get me started on your fingers and tongue! God in Heaven! You play my A-spot like a concert pianist, and how can anyone get their tongue to go where yours does on my G-spot? Talk about premature ejaculation! You get me so wound up that all you have to do is breathe on my clit and I start to come … and come … and come. And then you lick mommy clean, and it starts all over again … they should give you the patent on foreplay! Sarah could squirt with the best of them. Sarah was squirming in her seat, and Ian definitely needed another beer. His eyes wandered about the room, seeking out Janis Joplin. He hoped that the food was as good as Sarah claimed. “And besides,” Sarah went on, not realizing that Ian's attention had wandered. “I think that Rita and some of the others can help us with our little Monday through Friday problem. If I can put together a group to help me take care of you, we can take changing diapers out of your hands altogether.” Which will make masturbation a tad difficult ... Still squirming, Sarah gently but pointedly tapped the spot where she reckoned little Ian Junior was hibernating. From her point of view, one of the best things about the thick hospital diaper than Ian was now wearing was that it doubled as an effective chastity belt. Little Ian Junior wasn't going anywhere, not with the diaper as tightly pinned as a nurse with her many years of experience could make it. For his part, Big Ian was still looking for Janis, but he had changed his mind about the beer. He was going to make it a pitcher. If he had realized that Sarah was scheming to deny him the ability to masturbate, he might have ordered a keg. . . . . . . . . “Hi, Sarah,” Rita exclaimed, “it's good to see you outside the office. And you must be Ian. I'm Rita, by the way, and this is Candy. We've all heard a lot about you.” The two nurses, one a bit older and one a bit younger than his girlfriend, had taken a strategic detour on their way back from the rest room. Rita's hand was outstretched. Ian took it, and to his credit, gave it a warm but gentlemanly shake. “It's a pleasure to meet you both,” he said, “and I hope that we can get together with you and your friends (he nodded vaguely in the direction of Becky and Marge) at some point. And let me apologize for not getting up, but this table appears to be an adult version of a baby's high chair. We're locked in, I'm afraid ...” Of course, by then with any luck I'll have passed out … "... I'm okay … I mean, I think my diaper is still up to the challenge ... but I'm worried about Sarah. What if she has to go?” And that, my dear, is how you ambush the ambushers … Ian looked fondly at his girlfriend who, for her part, was looking somewhat less fondly at him. It was at this terribly awkward moment that Janis Joplin finally arrived. . . . . . . . “Thank you, Ian,” Rita said with a quiet nod. “Yes, we all know that you are incontinent, and we all appreciate how awkward this can be for you. It's not easy to talk about, and it's very gracious of you to get it out of the way like this. And we'd love to join you. As for the table ...” Rita reached underneath, found the lever, and rolled it back. “We've been here before.” Rita and Candy excused themselves, and made the long walk back to their own table. . . . . Sarah slowly shook her head. “I keep misjudging you,” she confessed. “And I apologize. I thought that you performed that little stunt to embarrass me, but you put Rita at ease. Thank you. She's a good friend, not just a colleague, and I want the two of you to be comfortable with each other.” “She's a nice lady,” Ian agreed, “and your friend Candy is hot. Can I have her phone number?” “Stop it, you big goof!” Sarah couldn't help herself-- another round of giggles was just over the horizon. “You are incorrigible … and I do need the bathroom. Don't run off …” Sarah rushed away, leaving Ian very much to his own devices. He wondered if he could persuade one of the four amigas to change his now sodden diaper. But when he stood up and looked down, much to his surprise his seat was still dry. He honestly didn't know whether to feel disappointed, or relieved. It was at this precise moment that both Jim and Janis returned, the one with their food and the other with his pitcher. The food looked good, the beer even better. He ran his hand over the cold glass, catching a bit of the foam in his fingers. He looked furtively around, and with no one watching, began delicately to lick his fingers clean. Ian was drunk, but regrettably, only a little. He sincerely hoped that the pitcher would put him out of his misery. And what the Hell is Ed Sullivan doing here? . . . . Sarah was hard at work. The cherry had somehow slipped all the way to the bottom of her shake, and she was using the mile-long spoon to nudge it to the surface. With an imaginary pat on the back for a job well done, she eased the cherry into her mouth. She bit down, swallowed, then delicately licked the spoon with the very tip of her tongue. Little Ian Junior really appreciated her well-practiced technique. Big Ian was staring fixedly at the spoon. They were both jealous. So easy, Sarah smirked, so easy. “Here we are,” she lamented, “all but inseparable for over a week now, and you keep slipping through my fingers. How can I be so wrong about you so often?” “Huh? Wrong about what?” Ian looked up from his burger, the ketchup smearing his chin. Sarah used her napkin to wipe him clean, not even aware of what she was doing. Treating Ian like a young toddler was rapidly becoming second nature to her. “I've been thinking about it … a lot.” Having taken efficient care of the ants in her pants, Sarah had come back from the bathroom in a pensive mood, and she wanted to give voice to her thoughts, and to her feelings. “When you opened the door, I attacked and you retreated. A dominant and a submissive. It seemed so self-evident. And then, when I pointed out that you needed a diaper change, you didn't react. No denial, no phony outrage, and you didn't turn beet red with embarrassment. And now … Rita. You put her instantly at ease, and you did it so smoothly. So, what I've learned over the last week is that you are really, really good at rolling with the punches … but what does it mean? Are you just humoring me? Toying with me for your own amusement? Or are you genuinely submissive? I just don't get it. I mean, you had to give me a key to your apartment, because when I lock the mittens on you at bedtime, there's no way for you even to open the door to let me in come morning. And when I change your diaper, tuck you in and offer you what amounts to an adult sized pacifier, all you do is open your mouth wide, take it in, and start sucking. Not a word of protest that every day I'm treating you more and more like an infant. Is this what you want? Are you just a big baby, and have I been cast to play the role of your mommy?” Ian nodded. He did not like where this conversation was headed, and he was still sober enough to realize that he needed to head Sarah off at the proverbial pass. “You're right, Sarah.” Ian put down his half-eaten burger. “But only half-right. When you came pounding on the door, common sense told me that this was not the hill to die on.” He reached for Sarah's hand, cradled it, and began to trace lazy circles on her palm. Sarah shivered with pleasure. Ian's touch was electric. “But I am submissive, deeply so, and I'm very comfortable with the one-sided power dynamic in our relationship. I accept that, if this is all heading somewhere, if we stay together, it will be strictly on your terms. I'm fine with that, and I'm fine with being your 'wittle baby' as you so elegantly phrased it. I love having you change my diapers, wipe my messy bottom … I love it all … the attention, the pampering. I've never experienced anything like this before, and it's addictive. You keep me safe and warm, and what can I offer you in return? The divorce cleaned me out, and it will be years before I can even think about being financially comfortable. Hell, I can't even pay for this dinner! All I can do, if you'll let me, give me the chance, is try to make you happy. And I want that chance. I want to be the man who makes love to you, but I also want to be your wittle baby. I don't care how many people think this is weird because to me it feels like, for the very first time, my life is in balance. Ian wants to be the only man in your life, but he also wants to set free his inner child because …” He paused, searching for words. “... because the only way I will ever feel absolute trust in another human being is to become a baby, your baby … trusting you to look after my every need. And the bridge between the baby and the adult is an obsession with your breasts. Gee, what a surprise! Does it seem so terribly perverted that I fantasize about you lactating, cradling me, gently guiding my lips to latch on and drink your milk? I want this relationship … badly … and for what it's worth, I think that you want it too. I just wish that you could see what I see when I'm lying there, and you're changing my diaper … the tenderness in your eyes, the caring. The bond between us is real, Sarah, real and strong and growing. And I don't want it ever to end.” “I'm glad, Ian, more than glad, because I do want this, but I also insist upon being in complete charge of this relationship. I want you to obey me, and not just because babies do what their mommies say, or they get spanked. I have to be in control because I will never knowingly do anything that is not in your best interest, which is something to which you have clearly given very little thought. If anything, your behavior is so self-destructive that ...” Sarah broke off in mid-sentence, sensing that it was far too early to take him down this path. It would take much more than a week to win his trust. “But I don't expect blind obedience,” she finished. “Stand up to me when you sincerely believe that I'm wrong, but don't ever willfully defy me. Believe me, I will know the difference, and you will not like the outcome. Do we have a deal?” “We do,” he replied, wondering all the while if it was the beer that was doing the talking, or the roughly six inches of tightly pinned and extraordinarily frustrated flesh that dangled between his legs, stubborn flesh that so clearly had a will of its own. Little Ian Junior desperately wanted to come out and play, but the damn diaper was getting in the way. And in the background, the music was louder, and a couple was dancing on stage. Ian thought that it sounded like Chuck Berry, but he wasn't quite sure. Quickie historical quiz: The music playing in the background at scene's end is Chuck Berry's A. C'est La Vie B. Teenage Wedding C. You Never Can Tell D. All of the above E. None of the above

I'm looking forward to Trunchbull getting her due soon!

Matilda couldn’t believe what she was hearing. No! No! No! “Let me see her!” She begged. Mrs. Rodgers had her by the arms, but no matter how much she threw her weight and thrashed against her, Mrs. Rodgers wouldn’t let go. “Matilda, you need to calm down!” Mrs. Rodgers said, but Matilda wasn’t having it. “They don’t know anything yet for sure!” She could barely make out the doctor standing in front of her through her tears. “We’re still running tests, but we’ll let you know as soon as we find anything. Once she’s out of radiology, and get her settled into a room, then you can see her for a few minutes before visiting hours are over.” Visiting hours! She wasn’t leaving Miss Honey here by herself! “Thank you, doctor.” Matilda felt herself get pulled back over to the chairs. “They don’t know for sure.” Mrs. Rodgers said again. “But I know!” Matilda cried. How had she not noticed the infected cuts? She had so busy looking at the scars, she hadn’t noticed the cuts! As soon as the doctor had asked if she had been around rusty metal, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. The Chokey! The night she had been so late picking her up from Hortensia’s. “Matilda, how could you possibly know? He only said they were checking for Tetanus, it doesn’t mean she has it. He said it could be any number of things.” “B-but-but I felt it!” Matilda said. “In my throat, and she was pointing at it and-” “Shh, Matilda, you’re not making any sense. I know you’re worried, but Miss Honey is going to be fine.” “It could kill her!” “They don’t know if it was even metal that cut her. For all we know, it could be totally unrelated. They’ve already given her a booster shot just in case.” “She was late! Miss Trunchbull must have had her in the Chokey, and she got cut!” “I promise you, Miss Honey was not in the Chokey, she was with me all night.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “The Trunchbull made all the staff sit through a lecture after school let out. We walked off the grounds together. Now, Miss Honey loves to tell me how smart you are. I’m sure you know just how rare Tetanus is, don’t you?” It was true, but, Matilda had been so sure she had felt pain in her jaw. It was a classic symptom, wasn’t it? She tried to remember what she had read about it in the library after she had gotten all her vaccinations caught up. Was it Tetanus that caused jaundice, or was that Hepatitis? She let her face fall into her hands. She couldn’t remember! Her brain felt so fuzzy! Even if she was having jaw pain, why did that mean Miss Honey was too? She knew something strange was happening to her. She had been feeling all these complex and foreign things for days leading up to this, and she hadn’t understood why until today. Maybe they weren’t Matilda’s feelings at all. They had been Miss Honey’s. They had been so strong when they were lying next to each other, Matilda wondered why she hadn’t noticed before. How do you always know? Perhaps it wasn’t only Matilda who had wanted to cuddle last night? Hadn’t Miss Honey admitted she had needed it as well? The sudden urge had overwhelmed Matilda. It was as if she had needed Jenny’s affection like she needed air. Was it because Miss Honey’s complex adult emotions had overwhelmed her? The self loathing. The fear. Feelings of inadequacy, of guilt, of loneliness, of shame. How could one person feel all that? Perhaps that’s why Matilda only noticed it today? Pain was something she could pinpoint. She understood nausea, and headaches, and a full bladder. Matilda nearly jumped when she heard the door swing open. “She’s in room 408 if you’d like to come back now.” Matilda’s heart began to flutter inside her chest. She could feel the sweat forming on her palms. She had been bound and determined to break down the door a mere ten minutes ago, and now as she made her way down the hall, she felt terrified. What was this? Another foreign feeling. She was right outside the door now. She swallowed nervously. It was guilt. Matilda craned her neck around the door frame, afraid of what she might see. What if she was hooked up to a breathing tube? Or an iron lung? Was she conscious? Would she recognize Matilda, or was she delirious from fever? Relief rushed over her as she met Miss Honey’s eyes. She practically sprinted to her bedside. She was awake, and sitting up, and even eating Jello! “Matilda, no, don’t! Give her some space!” Mrs. Rodgers said from behind her. “No, she’s fine.” Jenny said with a croak. She patted the small space on the bed next to her that Matilda had already begun to scale. “C’mere, darling.” There was that longing again. Was it hers? Jenny’s? A bit of both? They wrapped their arms around each other as they rocked side to side. “I’m okay, sweetie, really. It’s all thanks to you.” “I didn’t do anything.” Matilda mumbled into Miss Honey’s shoulder. “Yes you did! You were right there by my side all day, and you were so attentive, you even noticed I wasn’t getting better and called for help. The doctor said if I hadn’t come to the hospital when I did, I could have had brain damage from the high fever.” Matilda shuddered. “I’m okay though. They were able to break it, and they’re giving me antibiotics and fluids. They just want to keep me here for observation.” “Was it from metal?” Matilda asked. She pointed at the bandage on Jenny’s collarbone. “No, it wasn’t metal.” Jenny said with a weak smile, “You want to know what it was from?” Matilda nodded, eyes wide. “It was from that darn cat your dear friend Hortensia put in the Trunchbull’s office on Tuesday. It scratched me when I picked him up to put him outside. I didn’t clean it well enough, and it got infected.” Matilda frowned, That couldn’t be it. “What else?” Matilda demanded. Jenny sighed and ran her hand through Matilda’s hair. “Can’t hide anything from you, can I? Now, I don’t want you to worry, bu- ” “Jenny! What is it?” “We have cupboard spiders.” Matilda blinked. “What? Spiders?” There it was again, the guilt. “I saw a couple the other day, but I didn’t want to scare you. I was going to go back and kill them once you fell asleep, but then I forgot about them. Looks like one of them found me last night and got me right under my jaw. I had a bad reaction, and It made my throat swell up.” Matilda looked up and noticed a bandage under her jaw line, right where Matilda had been feeling pain. She couldn’t help but laugh from relief. She hugged Jenny again, but much tighter. A spider bite? Really? “You scared me nearly to death thinking you had Tetanus!” “Why on earth would you think I had Tetanus?” “Because of the jaw pain! And the stomach contractions, and the fever!” Matilda could feel Miss Honey pull away from her and stare. “How? What? I never told you about the contractions and jaw pain.” “Because I felt it.” Matilda whispered. “I can’t explain it; I just knew.” “The bucket.” Jenny said quietly, her eyes growing wide. “It was always ready. You weren’t making it stay up the whole time?” Matilda shook her head. “Three minutes is my limit. I just sort of knew when you were going to need it and got it ready.” “Matilda, that’s not possible, how could you-” Miss Honey started to say, but stopped as she realized what she was saying. How could you tell a girl who could move objects with her mind what was and wasn’t possible? “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over.” A male voice said. Matilda turned to stare at him and then back to Miss Honey. “C’mon, Matilda, say goodnight and let Jenny get some rest.” Mrs. Rodgers said, getting up from her chair. No! Not yet! A feeling of panic was rising in her. “Can’t I stay here with my mom?” “Don’t you want to have a sleepover with Hortensia? I’m sure the two of you can get into all sorts of fun trouble together.” Mrs Rodgers said. Matilda shook her head and looked at the nurse with pleading eyes. “You’re allowed one family member to stay, but that’s up to your mom.” he said. Matilda felt Jenny take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “She can stay if she likes.” Jenny said, before giving her a warm smile. “Thank you.” she whispered in Matilda’s ear before kissing her forehead. “I didn’t really want to be alone.” “I know.” ……………………………………………. Jenny was both astonished and slightly disturbed at the knowledge that Matilda had developed the ability to peek inside her mind. Well, it’s a damn good thing I don’t have a sex drive, Jenny thought to herself. She could feel her face begin to burn at the “what if,” scenario that teased her mind. Her near constant isolation from the adult world had really been a blessing in disguise. The last thing she needed to do was get “turned on” and have Matilda start asking questions about a new sensation she didn’t understand. Well, that would make two of them. She glanced at Matilda, asleep on the couch, and smiled. She was covered in a thin hospital blanket and appeared to be dead to the world. Matilda had slept through almost every time a nurse had stopped in to check her vitals, only raising her head for the briefest second when Jenny had been helped out of bed and led to the restroom. Poor thing must have been exhausted if she could stay asleep through all the beeping and commotion of the surrounding room. “Hello, Miss Jennifer, how are you feeling?’ she opened her eyes to find the nurse from before standing over her and, Jenny gulped, two uniformed police officers. What? Why? Was this about her having Matilda? Her eyes shot back to the girl as she tried her best to swallow her panic. I haven’t done anything wrong. “The pain medicine is wearing off.” she answered truthfully. She tried to give the nurse her full attention, but her eyes kept wearily shooting to the officers. “I’ll have them bring you something else for the pain, but in the meantime, these officers would like to speak to you regarding your living situation.” Jenny felt her heart drop. No! She wouldn’t let them take her! “Hello, Jennifer, is it?” Miss Honey slowly nodded her head, eyes wide in panic. “My name is Anthony Jameson, and this is my partner, Rebecca Hastings. We have a few questions for you, we were hoping you wouldn’t mind answering for us.” Miss Honey cringed a bit. His voice was loud and carried in the quiet hospital room. She put her fingers to her lips and pointed at the covered lump on the couch. “Ah, sorry,” He said, before lowering his voice. “We received a call tonight regarding a possible domestic abuse situation, and we’re just here doing a wellness check.” Hiss Honey stared at him for a moment in confusion. Domestic abuse? She wasn’t even, or had ever, been in a relationship. “N-no?” Jenny answered. If this wasn’t about them taking Matilda, then what was it about? “I’m a bit confused, sorry.” “It’s okay. There was some concern raised over the marks on your body. We were called to make sure that you and your child were in a safe situation and offer some assistance if needed.” “O-oh, oh no,” Jenny said in a relieved sigh, “Those aren’t from a partner.” “Yes, the caller said something about a family member, your aunt? Or your boss?” Miss Honey’s face fell. “N-no, those, those are from my childhood.” She stuttered out. “I-ts nothing, just an accident.” “Don’t lie.” Jenny heard coming from the side. She paled as Matilda sat up. “That’s no accident! The Trunchbull did that to you!” “Matilda, please.” Jenny said in a panic. She turned back to the officers. “Everything’s fine, really, it’s from a long time ago and-” “Ma’m, is this person still in your life?” “Well, yes, she’s my boss at the school, but like I said, it was a long time ago.” Jenny said, her voice rising with panic with every syllable. Jenny could see the female officer scowl. “You’re not talking about Agatha Trunchbull from that school over on Churchill street, are you?” “Umm, y-yes.” “We’ve had multiple reports and complaints about her over the years and-” “Then why hasn’t anyone done anything?!” Matilda nearly shouted. Everyone turned to look at her. “She terrorizes everyone! She hurts the kids, throws people out of windows! I saw her throw a girl over the fence by her hair, and she’s stolen all of Jenny’s money!” Jenny could see tears running down Matilda’s face. “All the adults are cowards! Why won’t anyone do anything?” Jenny could see the female officer's shoulders slump. “We get reports, but when it’s time to press charges, we think she gets to them first. Either bribes or threatens them to stay silent. It’s not as easy as it sounds, unfortunately, facing the ones who hurt us.” The officer met Jenny’s eyes and nodded in understanding, but that seemed to make Matilda even more furious. “That’s what I mean, though!” Matilda said, “Everyone is so scared to face her, so they do nothing! And that’s why it keeps happening! Again and again! She knows she can get away with it! If even one person had stopped thinking about themselves and stood up, then maybe the person after would have been spared!” The female officer gently placed a hand on Matilda’s head. “You’re a very smart little girl.” “Which brings us to our visit.” The other officer said. He produced a piece of paper and a pen and set it on the tray in front of Jenny. “We need your help, please give us your statement. It starts with one person.” Miss Honey let out a choked sob. “I-I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t!” ………………………………………………………. Matilda sank into the couch in stunned silence. Why? Why? Why? Why? She felt like she had just been punched in the gut. The adults are cowards. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. They were Hortensia’s words, and she had been silently fighting against them for days. Miss Honey was different! Miss Honey would protect them. Miss Honey loved her. Miss Honey was…Miss Honey was…just like the rest of them. No! No! No! No! “Please,” the male officer said, sliding his card on the table. ”Think about it and call us if you change your mind.” Jennifer said nothing. “Hey,” Matilda heard. She looked up and saw the female officer looking down at her. “Don’t be hard on your mom. It’s not easy, you understand?” Matilda could feel the terror and helplessness coming from Jenny, but it was held back with her own rage, frustration, and, hurt? There was a deep ache inside of Matilda. She didn’t want to give it a name, because if she did, she would have to face the fact that Jenny, her Jenny, was making her feel…betrayed. Silent tears streamed down her face. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” You know it's more complicated than that. Life wasn't a story where everything always worked out in the end. There was no hero to swoop in to save the day. Reality wasn't a book where everyone got a happy ending, and good triumphed over evil. It was time to face the facts; she had been living in a fantasy world. Why had she assumed a woman as beaten down and broken as Jenny could somehow face all her fears just for her? Matilda was angry, not at Jenny really, but at herself. When had she lost touch with reality? Matilda sat silently on the couch and watched the officers go. Once the room had emptied, and it was just the two of them alone again, Matilda felt the full force of Miss Honey's emotions. It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room. It hurt to breathe. Matilda looked down at her hands and found them trembling. She looked up at the woman who sat on the bed with her head in her arms on the tray, sobbing. Matilda couldn't stay mad, Jenny was filled with enough self loathing for the both of them. Matilda climbed back up onto her bed, squeezing in between the tray and Jenny. "I'm sorry, Matilda, I'm so sorry!" Miss Honey choked out. "How did I ever think I could be someone you could rely on?" "It doesn't change anything." Matilda said. She was relieved to find it felt true. "I still love you," she said, before adding, "mom." Matilda blinked in surprise. Mom? Miss Honey hadn't looked up, but she could tell she had stopped crying. "Why now? When I feel like the furthest thing from it." Matilda herself was trying to understand it. Why now of all times did it suddenly feel natural? "Because I think before, it felt too much like a fairy tale. Like I would wake up one day and find myself back with the Wormwoods. You were perfect, and everything I had ever wanted, and I think I knew deep down it wasn't real. I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time as a human." "This is the real me, Matilda. A selfish, lowly coward." Matilda put her arms around Jenny and rested her head in the crook of her neck and shoulder. "I still choose you, mom." She felt a pair of arms slowly wrap around her. There, in the seemingly endless darkness and turmoil, she could feel the tiniest spark of hope ignite, like a lighthouse that had stood empty for years had finally been lit, signaling the way home. Matilda didn't know who was the lighthouse and who was the ship lost at sea, but she could feel the storm ever so slowly begin to ebb away, and for now, that was all that mattered. "I love you so much, Matilda." "I love you too, mom." And as Matilda drifted to sleep in her favorite place of all, a thought crept into her mind. She smiled mischievously in the dark. Spiders, huh? I wonder how Miss Trunchbull feels about spiders.

I woke Friday morning thinking it was Saturday, until I realized that the meeting reminder on my phone was prompting me that I had my weekly staff update meeting to call into in 15 minutes. Uhg. The chain holding my wrists had released at some point, but the sleeper was still locked. I knocked on my wife’s closed office door and stuck my head in when invited. She was on the phone, and gestured that I should take the changing pad and diaper stack sitting on the chair beside her and lay it out on the floor. Continuing her discussion with her coworker about resource needs and schedule changes to some program, she unlocked the sleeper and changed me into a dry diaper. Wearing only the diaper and plastic pants, I was handed the pile of wet diapers and shoo’d out. I dropped them in the wash, made a quick cup of coffee, threw on a onesie and some sweatpants, and called into my meeting to begin yet another day of work. Throughout the day I was still doing my best to be conscious about when I emptied my bladder. I noticed that I was trying to not walk near the bathroom door. It just felt wrong. Several times I went to use the toilet, but when I got near the bathroom I just didn’t feel like it. The diaper was easier. Of course, I was consciously using the diaper, so it stayed in control. After focusing on my work for most of the day, it was mid-afternoon when my wife asked if I wanted to go out shopping with her. I gestured at the thick white plastic covered lump around my waist. “No. Not like this.” “It’s OK. I’ll put a more discreet diaper on you, and you can wait in the car. C’mon it will be good to get out.” I sighed. She returned with a Molicare M2, which after she changed me into it seemed as thin as a pair of regular underwear after the pillow-like cloth I had been wearing. Under the snapped onesie, it was hardly noticeable. Manipulating her phone, she unlocked the collar and cuffs, a tiny click signalling that I could pull them off. I dressed in a pair of loose shorts and an untucked shirt over the onesie. I doubted anyone could tell. With the confidence of a discrete diaper, I joined her in the grocery store, relaxing a little with the realization that I could get out of the house without a problem. I hadn’t even realized that I had felt trapped in the house before, and I felt a wave of gratitude to my wife for convincing me to get out. It was the right thing. We were in the produce area when my wife glanced at her phone, then somewhat discreetly cupped my crotch. I was wet. Really wet. Without mentioning it, we both sped up the remaining shopping. Time to get home. After checkout, as we were passing the restrooms, she looked at me. “You should change here. I brought a spare for you.” Realizing just how wet I was, I agreed with her. I poked my head into the mens room and found it empty. Perfect. Not as perfect was when she pulled the translucent plastic grocery containing another diaper, a package of wipes, and a small bottle of powder out of her huge purse, and just handed it to me. I looked around again frantically, but no one seemed to be interested, or care. Quickly tucking it under my arm I entered the room and quickly went into a stall. The change went quickly... drop my shorts, unsnap the onesie, and pop the tapes on the used diaper. Pull it off, pull out a couple of wipes, and clean up a little. As I was cleaning, a few drops of pee fell from the trainer and landed on my shorts. I guess I should have positioned the new diaper to catch the drops... note that for next time. Pull the new one on, sprinkle a little powder, position and tape, snap the onesie up and pull up my shorts. Of course, just as I was finishing up the door opened, and someone walked over to the urinal. I quickly wrapped up the used diaper, and walked out of the stall, discreetly dropping the used diaper in the trash with a ‘thunk’ on the way to the sink. Wash my hands, and I was out of there. I had survived. I let out my breath as I exited the restroom. “You’re getting pretty quick at that,” she said as we continued out the front door and walked to the car. “It’s not so bad, is it?” She gestured towards the wet spot on my shorts. “I guess that’s why I’m changing you, though, isn’t it? When you do it, you make a mess...” I agreed that it wasn’t that bad, but really, I still intended to win the bet. I once again wondered about that, though, as I knew I was already wet when we got home. Not soaked, but the yellow lines were slowly turning blue. I redoubled my efforts to be conscious about it when I was letting go, and it wasn’t long before I was again being changed into one of the thick cloth diapers and plastic pants. She prepared dinner and wine, and afterwards we pulled up a favorite movie that we hadn’t seen in awhile. The cuddling on the couch got frisky, but when she had undressed me down to my diaper, she stopped. I tried to keep things going. She “Let’s go take a shower... you’re kind of smelly, and it’s not exactly a turn on.” She was dressed in only a black bra and panties, and I followed like a lovesick puppy dog as she pulled me upstairs to the shower. I put the collar and cuffs on myself, and our fooling around continued as she washed me in the shower. Free of the trainer, my excitement was obvious, and the restraints only helped to heighten it as I tried to hold her perfect breasts, always kept slightly out of my reach. After toweling us off, she laid out the changing pad and diapers for me on the bed. I did my best to nibble her ear, her shoulder, and anything else I could until she finally turned around, kissed me deeply, and pulled me over onto the waiting cloth. I barely noticed as the tether clicked on as her breasts dangled in front of me. As she slid up and down on me, she laughed as I tried to sit up, to reach her, to hold her. She bent over, her mouth by my ear, and whispered how it was nice to be in control occasionally. Not of everything, just a few things. How it made her feel important to me. How she knew that diapers were important to me, and now she was part of that. How it excited her that someone depended on her. How she didn’t want all the power in the relationship, just a little. How her control of my diapers was just enough. How I looked cute with a puffy butt. How much she loved me. And then, remarkably simultaneously, it was over. We lay there for a little, with her in my arms, still inside her. After a few minutes, she got up and wiped herself off using my diaper, and the pulled it up and pinned it into place after replacing the trainer. Quietly, gently, the plastic pants were pulled up, the cloth diaper tucked in all around, and the sleeper zipped and locked. The cuffs and collar remained, as a reminder of whining about them last night. I said nothing. She gently guided me to my bed, and lay down with me as I fell asleep. ----- That night I slept very, very well, and woke up Saturday morning feeling refreshed. The diaper was very wet, as usual, and the collar and cuffs were still on. I found my wife in her office, scrolling though some data. She turned. “Just checking to see how you’ve been doing, and tweaking the algorithms a little. Only one more day to win this bet!” She smiled at me. “Let’s get you cleaned up”. She unlocked all the clothing, and let me use the bathroom. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want to go in there. The need to take care of #2, though, overcame the bad feeling, and I suffered through a few minutes to take care of business. I got up and left as soon as I could. Today was household chores day, and we had a bunch of work both inside and outside to attend to. I asked her for a more discreet diaper so I could work outside. Soon I was in a single layer cloth diaper, and after breakfast I proceeded to mow the lawn, trim the bushes, do some garage cleanout, and all the other basic chores that needed to get done. The hard work in the sun made me thirsty, which in turn meant that the thin cloth did not last nearly as long as the thicker diapers, of course, and I needed to stop for a change every one or two hours. Several times I tried to use the bathroom, but it just didn’t seem right, and I changed myself, or was changed, on the couch or the bed. By the time dinner time rolled around we were both exhausted, but the chores were done. We decided to go back to our favorite pub, and after the shower ritual I was re-diapered in an discreet disposable, dressed in fresh clothes, and very very ready for a beer. Halfway through the meal I was unsuprised when the bag that she handed me contained only two thick M4 diapers, but numbed to the humiliation after a week of diapers and two beers the change went uneventfully. My shorts bulged slightly, but the untucked shirt, dark room, and the onesie seemed to provide enough discretion. The used diaper landed in the trash with a thunk as I walked out after washing my hands. There was some good live music going on, and so we hung around for a little while listening and talking. The third and fourth beer made the walk home a little more challenging, but it wasn’t until I got home that I realized just how wet I was, and that the back of my shorts were wet. The diaper had leaked. I tried to get upset at my wife, after all, she was responsible for my diapers! She was supposed to keep my from leaking! What if others had seen? My actual mumblings, though, went largely un-commented on as she helped me in to bed after laying out some dry cloth diapers. I took off my clothes, and lay back and rested as the cuffs, collars, and chains were attached. I barely was conscious as the heavy disposable was removed and the doubled night diaper was pinned on, followed by the plastic pants and the sleeper. The chain between the wrist cuffs and collar was again left in place. As my wife was kissing me goodnight, I had a blurry realization that I hadn’t gotten a punishment shock in a long time. What if it was broken and she used this as an excuse to prolong the training? I didn’t want this to last any longer than it had to. “Honey?” “Yes darling.” “I think the battery in the trainer is dead. I don’t think it’s working.” Her brow furrowed, and she looked at her phone. “Why don’t you think it’s working?” “It hasn’t shocked me recently.” She played with her phone some more, and looked at me sweetly. “No, it’s working just fine, honey. Don’t worry about it. I love you.” Her hand went down, and rubbed the front of my diaper a little. In my inebriated state I just closed my eyes and enjoyed it, quickly passing into sleep. ====== Sunday morning was the big day. Time to see who won the bet. The fact that I was waking up with a very soggy diaper was not a good start. My wrists were still chained to my collar, so I waddled down the hall. I found my wife was still sleeping. I headed down the stairs to try to start coffee. The cartridge based coffee maker was easy to operate even with hands like a tyrannosaurus, and soon I had two cups of coffee. Adding the milk was a little harder, but I managed. Carefully climbing the stairs with two precariously carried cups of coffee, I earned a warm smile as I presented it to my just-waking wife. She propped herself up on one arm to receive the warm gift. “So I suppose you want out? You still think you can win this bet?” Her warm smile was a rewarding thank-you. “Yep, I do. I’ve been practicing the last few days, and I think I’ll be fine.” “All-right.” She reached for her phone charging by the bedside, and twiddled a bunch of settings, entered passwords, and soon there were a few small clicks as all the devices unlocked. “Why don’t you go take a shower and clean up, and I’ll join you?” I couldn’t say no to that. It would be the first time in a week I could wash myself. Soon the water was hot, I had stripped everything off including the trainer, and she was joining me as I opened the door and stepped in. I enjoyed the ability to wash myself, and we both took turns soaping, touching, caressing, and holding each other. It wasn’t long before my excitedness became the main attraction, and I lifted her up and on to me. We stood locked together for a few seconds before I heard her whispering in my ear. She was grinding gently. “Remember the terms of the bet. To win, no more than one accident over the next 48 hours. And if you put on a diaper because you think you’ll have an accident, you lose. Right?” “Right. And if I win you’re going to be the one in diapers for TWO weeks.” I smiled at the thought, as remote a possibility as it was. “And if you lose, you’re going to be put back in the trainer for a while until it’s permanent. But I’m feeling REALLY good right now, and I’m so confident that I’m going to win that I’ll let you have two accidents before you lose.” She was grinding harder. “Because you let me pick what we were going to do today.” She ground even harder, and I was up against the shower wall, huffing and puffing myself. She clenched, reaching climax, as she whispered in my ear, “We’re going to go see my parents.” I stopped cold, any thoughts of my finishing completely gone. “What?” She looked up at me, basking in both the afterglow and the knowledge that she had me. “Since we didn’t go out with our friends yesterday, you said I could pick where we went today. And I want to go see my parents. That was the deal.” It was the deal. She was right. But this was wrong. “You want to expose this to your parents? What will they think? They’ll never talk to me again!” I was starting to freak out a little. I turned the shower off and got out, wrapping myself in the safety of the large fluffy towel. “Hey, you said you were going to win this. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine, right? You think you can win this, right? Don’t worry about it.” “But what if I have an accident?” She had transitioned into her soothing, calm-me-down voice. “You can win this. You can do this, right? And if there is a problem, we’ll just blame it on a temporary medical problem that the doctors haven’t figured out yet, but I’m sure they will soon.” I was calming down. I could do this. “No one can get mad at you for having a medical problem, right? And you’re going to win it anyway.” I could do this. I was going to win this. I found out that she had set up brunch plans for an hour from now, so we finished getting ready. I was very conscious of holding my bladder, and I went to the toilet every 10 minutes, even though I hated going into the bathroom. It just felt wrong. Her parents only lived 20 minutes away, and I have rarely concentrated on one thing for so long. Hold my bladder. Hold my bladder. Hold my bladder. Do not lose focus. Any conversation my wife attempted to start I ignored, and after a few minutes she stopped trying, with a smirk on her face. Hold my bladder. Hold my bladder. I could do it. Hold my bladder. I had never before been so grateful to pull into my in-law’s driveway. I made a beeline for the guest bathroom to drain the few drops that had accumulated since I left home. When I went again 10 minutes later, just as the mimosas were being distributed, my mother in law looked at me curiously. When I went for a third time just 15 minutes after that, brunch was being laid out on the table and I felt her eyes on my back. The fourth time, in the middle of eating, I saw my wife and mother in law whispering when I returned, stopping suddenly when they saw me. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were talking about, but what was I going to do? I was very worried that if I didn’t go often, I’d end up having an accident. That was, I was sure, worse than being talked about. ==== I almost made it. I was so close. We were starting to make our excuses about the busy day we had ahead of us. It was probably the second mimosa that did it. Damn alcohol. I was sitting on the couch when my wife’s eyes went wide, staring at my crotch. I froze. I could feel it releasing, and as much as I tried I couldn’t clench. Luckily, there was not much there, and the damage was limited to a very obvious wet spot. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry!” My wife said rushing to my side. She guided my shocked self quickly into the bathroom, leaving my in-laws staring in shock behind me. I was almost in tears. I had just peed myself in front of my in-laws. I sat down on the tub and my wife sat beside me. “It’s OK. I already told my mother that you were having some problems, which is why you’ve been running to the bathroom so often.” “But I just wet my pants in front of them.” I had a thought. “Urm... did you bring anything I can change into?” She paused. “No, I didn’t. I’ll get something from my father. Let me have your wet stuff and I’ll do a quick wash and dry.” Running a load of wash would take a while, and I just wanted to get home. “Let’s just go. Please. I’ve had enough.” There was a gentle knock on the door. My wife went to answer it, and I heard her and her mother talking in hushed tones just outside the door. Not so hushed, though, that I couldn’t hear parts of the conversation. “...didn’t realize it was so serious... ...just have to get him to the car and get home...” “...seeing a doctor... very embarrassed...” “...from your grandfather... in the garage... be OK...” “...I’ll ask...” My wife came back in, closing the door behind her. She looked at me. “My mother would like me to ask you if you’d like something to wear home.” She paused. “There’s still a pile of stuff from when my grandfather passed away in the garage. There are some Depends. I told her you wouldn’t want to use that.” I didn’t even reply. I just looked at her. Was she crazy? There was no way in Hell I was going to wear her grandfathers Depends. It didn’t look like she expected me to agree, and she handed me a hairdryer from the closet before she went outside to talk to her mother again. I pulled off my shorts, and a minute under the hot blast from the dryer removed the wet spot. After I replaced my shorts, I replaced the hairdryer in the closet. “... get a pad for the seat...” “... I’ll be right back.” Her mother was just leaving as I opened the door. She looked back by reflex, but quickly turned back around and headed for the garage. My wife was waiting. “I’ve already said goodbye, let’s just head for the car. My mother is going to get a something to protect the car seat. Just in case.” She took my hand, and lead my embarrassed and numb self to the front door. Her father was nowhere to be found, and we quickly exited to the car. Her mother was already there, placing a disposable chair pad on the car seat. I assumed it was from the garage, but I didn’t ask. A half-used bag was on the ground, and she picked it up and placed it in the back seat. The big hug from my mother-in-law was unexpected. She’s not normally the touchy-feely-huggy type. She looked me in the eyes. “I’m sorry that you’re having problems, but it’s OK. You’ll make it through it. You’re still young, so just do what you need to do to figure out what’s wrong, and everything will be OK.” She glanced over at my wife, and lowered her voice to where only I could hear it. “You know, it’s not the end of the world if you have to wear a little protection against dribbles now and then. You’re not the only one in the world that has had problems, you know.” My mother-in-law smiled at me. “Just take care of yourself, OK?” She gave me a hug, and I mumbled something thanking her for breakfast and sorry about the excitement and everything as I slumped into the passenger seat on top of the disposable chair pad. The drive home was quiet, and I concentrated on not having a second accident. When we arrived home, I went and took a shower, alone, to try to rid myself of some of the dirty feelings I felt. I had wet my pants. In front of the in-laws. And I only had one strike left. I went into my office to find some peace, but only found a long list of bugs from work that had been assigned to me. I just didn’t want to deal with that on the weekend, particularly this weekend. Even the tech websites that I browsed for a break weren’t interesting. After 15 minutes I started toward the bathroom, but I almost decided that I didn’t need to go. I just felt wrong walking by the open bathroom door. I forced myself to go inside and let out the few drops that had accumulated. Every 15 minutes I did the same, for the whole afternoon. For dinner, I had only water, and kept the fluids to a minimum. I was looking forward to sleeping in the same bed with my wife, but she begged off with a headache and I found myself back in the guest bed with the plastic mattress cover, “You know, just in case...” The diaper pail was still there, and I opened the window to allow the room to air out a little more. I read for a while, and turned out the light. I hadn’t lost yet, but I was down one strike and barely 12 hours into the test.