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Three So, how is my new internship going? Well, funny you should ask. The CEO of my company has asked me to be her personal office plaything and has convinced me to wear–and use–diapers while calling her ‘Mommy.’ You know, it’s a really rewarding experience. One that will surely benefit my career aspirations. While I hadn’t actually said that to my roommate when he asked how my internship was going, I had been trying to imagine how absurd it would’ve sounded if I said the truth. There didn’t seem to be a way to present it that didn’t look crazy, however. “Want to go down to the cafeteria with me and grab some coffee?” Lyndie asked soon after I arrived at The Closet. I felt my cheeks warm a little. It’d be hard to explain why I couldn’t, but…I couldn’t. I had other obligations. “Maybe I’ll meet up with you in a little bit,” I said. “I’ve got to go see…HR.” “Really? How come?” It didn’t come off as doubt, just curiosity. Which was probably the better of the two options, though I’d rather she just didn’t ask questions at all. “Just a little snafu with the intern paperwork from the school, I think. Nothing serious.” “Huh,” she said. “Do you think I should go too? Make sure all my stuff is in order?” “N-no, I think you’re probably good,” I said. “Or…you know, they’d call you down if they needed you to.” She shrugged. “Whatever. Alright, I guess I’ll see you later.” While seeming like a pretty mundane situation, it had served as a reminder of the potential stakes of this strange new world I was entering with Ms. Heller. I’d need better excuses, and more of them. It was the most confident trip I had made to Ms. Heller’s office yet, with barely any doubts about the path I was supposed to take. “Good morning, Clark.” It wasn’t the bitter-sounding tone of Daniel that I expected. It was Ms. Heller herself, waiting for me in the hallway, beckoning for me to follow her into the office. “Good morning,” I said. Just talking to her made my cheeks flush with warm blood. It was astonishing how quickly she managed to have a hold on me. No sooner than I had stepped into her office, I saw that a diaper was already waiting for me atop her desk. It just sat there in clear view, as if it was a pad of paper or her phone. I tried to imagine how she’d react if it was someone else walking into her office right now–would she have quickly hidden it? Or did it just stay out like that? At her level, would anyone even dare question it if they thought they saw a large diaper on her desk? “No Daniel today?” I asked. “Starting today, Daniel will no longer be part of the company,” she said, closing the door to her office. “Oh…” “He won’t be giving you trouble any longer.” “Did you…fire him?” “Let him go,” she said. “It’s less harsh. And he got a severance too.” “But…I’m just an intern,” I said. “He…he was a full time employee and…” “I know when someone isn’t a good fit for my company,” she said. “If it makes you feel better, I can assure you that I already had my doubts about him. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be going without help for much longer.” I opened my mouth, speaking like a true naive little boy: “Oh, are you hiring someone new to replace him?” She smiled. “I have someone in mind, yes. But why don’t we talk about that later? For now, we ought to get you in today’s diaper.” “Oh, well actually…” “No chit-chat, Clark. On the ground now. On your back.” I thought I had something else to contribute, a relevant tidbit as it were, but I wasn’t about to give her the impression that I was being defiant. I did as she asked, quickly flattening myself on the ground. “That’s a good little boy,” she said. The pacifier was in her hand again, and she pressed it between my lips. Unlike the last time, I was ready for it. In fact, I welcomed it. “That’s a good baby. Suckle on that while Mommy takes care of you.” She took my shoes off, setting them aside. I held my breath as she slid my pants down my legs. I knew what she was going to see–the very thing I was going to tell her of a moment ago, had I been allowed to talk. “Well now,” she said. “This is a surprise. You’ve come to me pre-diapered today?” I shook my head. “Ah yes.” Her smile grew in size. “This is the same diaper you left my office in yesterday.” I nodded. “It’s…heavy.” She took a long slow drag of the air around my diaper through her nose. “A little stinky too. Old pee, hmm?” I shrugged. I thought I would’ve defended myself. I would’ve explained why I was still wearing that diaper. But in the moment, suckling on the rubber bulb of the pacifier as she knelt between my legs, it didn’t seem all that important to. Surely, she could figure it out on her own. She did. “I suspect someone would much rather have me change their diaper for them.” My cheeks felt as if they were glowing. It had been a hard night. Not only did I need to hide my crinkling diaper from my roommate, but I had to limit the amount I ate and drank–as to ensure that I didn’t fill the diaper beyond a capacity where I couldn’t wear it to work the next day. “This feels like a gift to me,” she said. “The little puppy rolling over and showing me his belly.” I nodded. She could see right through me. Her hand reached out and began to slowly rub my stomach. “You wet this diaper a bit, but… You went the whole night, and the whole morning, without taking the diaper off?” “Mmhmm,” I moaned through the pacifier. “My word. And you spent the whole day yesterday in a diaper, just wetting it once for me. Isn’t that right?” I nodded once more. “Well then you’re holding back on me. I bet you’re full of all kinds of things that you’re just holding onto, hmm?” My bladder needed release again. My bowels too. It hadn’t been terrible until this morning, when the waves of cramping pains would start washing over me. “That’s no good,” she said. “Quite unhealthy. You’re going to have to get it all out.” I opened my mouth, letting the pacifier tumble out from my lips and onto the ground next to me. “N-no… I’m okay.” “You realize that now that you’re expected to wear diapers, the restrooms are off limits to you, yes?” “Well…” “Clark. Baby. Let me spell it out for you: Your options are to either hold it in all day long, have an actual accident in your diapers while you work, or to take this opportunity here and now–in my office–to do your dirty business and then let me change you into a fresh diaper.” The optimist in me thought that I might just be able to last another day. Then, tonight, I’d go home and spend an hour on the toilet. The realist in me knew I’d never make it. Given the choice of using the diaper in front of Ms. Heller, or at some unknown time–but probably while in the Closet–using the diaper in front of Lyndie, I knew what the better choice was. “Just go,” she said. “Let it all out.” “But…” “Do I need to buy a strap to keep this in your mouth?” she asked, picking up the pacifier and popping it back into my mouth again. “I can assume you see the logic in not waiting an entire day to use a potty, yes?” I sighed, nodding once more. “Good. So it’s settled, then? You’ll stay here until you’ve done your business in the diaper. And then I’ll change you.” She stood up. I knew I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t just let this moment pass without saying something. I spit the pacifier out into my hand, propping my upper body up a little bit. “You want me to just stay in…here? All day? In your office? Until I…” She crossed her arms in front of her as she looked down at me. “I thought it was all rather clear. But, maybe it’s harder to understand when you’re just a little baby. Let me see if I can say it in a way that you can understand it better.” She took on a sarcastic and condescending tone: “Wittle baby is gonna stay in Mommy’s office until he makes his poopies in his wittle pampers. Is that better?” My mouth opened to respond–but, really, what was I going to say? Even if she hadn’t made her expectations clear–and she did–I wasn’t going to last another day. “Am I to take this silence as compliance?” she asked. I nodded. “Very good. I don’t imagine you have much to do this morning, yes? I think you’ll be fine just waiting here until you’re able to do your, uh, business.” She chuckled to herself, seemingly delighted by the use of ‘business.’ She was right. Were I back in The Closet again, I’d be doing school work while listening to Lyndie complain about something. I gave her another affirmative nod. “Well some of us are busy mommies who have work to do,” she said, returning to her desk. “I want you to stay right there on the floor, and I don’t want you to get up until you’ve gone and filled up that diaper. I don’t care how long it takes. And, after you’re done, I want you to tell me.” And just like that, she moved on with her morning, leaving me on the floor. No pants, just a diaper. The room had fallen quiet, save for the quiet rustling of the wet diaper and the clacking of her typing at her computer. It was yesterday all over again. All I had to do was use the diaper–something that should be no problem at all, given the pressure in my bowels–but there was this psychological block preventing me from just letting go. My body knew where I was supposed to do this, and it wasn’t a diaper. But I had time. All day, if needed. I wondered what Lyndie was doing by herself in The Closet. Was she thinking about me? Wondering where I was? Would she question my absence when I returned? What believable excuse could I possibly use? I had to close my eyes and concentrate to do it, but I was at least able to wet myself again. It was such a relief to ease at least some of the tension in my body. The already-sopping diaper grew warm again, and I felt the wetness spread to new areas of the diaper as the liquid sought new padding to saturate. It would’ve been blissful if I hadn’t recognized another new feeling on my legs. I took the pacifier out of my mouth. “Ms. Heller?” “I won’t be answering to that name again while we’re in my office,” she said, without looking away from her computer. “Uhm…Mommy?” She smiled, now turning her face towards me. “Yes, sweetkins? Did baby do a boom boom in his diaper?” “N-no.” “Well then why are we talking?” “Well…I’m, uhm, peeing. And I think the diaper is…leaking?” “That’s fine,” she said. “You know what to do to get a fresh one.” “But…it’s leaking onto your carpet and–” “We have an exceptional cleaning staff, Baby. Why don’t you let Mommy worry about cleaning up after your puddles, okay? You just go back to working on that special little project I gave you.” “Yes, okay.” She tilted her head, as if expecting me to say something specific. I knew what she wanted to hear. “Yes, Mommy.” Another cramp rolled through my abdomen. Inside of me, it was war. I wanted to wait. But I also wanted release. I wanted to fill my diaper while sitting in a puddle on the floor of my boss’s office. The phone rang. “This is Gabby.” I tried to listen intently, even if I was just getting half of the conversation. Listening to this company’s CEO talking business on the phone felt like a privilege and an honor. And while I never doubted her ability to lead, it was hearing her wield her power that further proved to me why she was running the company. “I heard what you said you wanted to do,” Ms. Heller said to the person on the other end of the call. “But I want to know what you’re going to do.” Her tone on the call wasn’t surprising to me–even if I had never heard this tone for myself before. She was, after all, CEO. Maybe there were exceptions, but I doubt that few made it to that level of the corporate ladder without having an edge to them. I struggled to find the word to best describe how I felt. ’Comfort’ came closest, though it did feel like a strange word to use. Outside of this office, hundreds of people were starting their workdays. Coffee was being brewed, computers were being turned on, meeting invites were being sent out. And yet there I was, sitting on the CEO’s floor in a diaper, listening to her berate someone who I’d probably never have to interact with myself. It reminded me of being an actual child–sitting in my own little bubble, completely unaware of the real world moving around me. I tuned in again, having spaced out for a moment: “...and I simply don’t find that acceptable,” she was saying. “Previously, you gave me your word that this situation was going to be taken care of. That was, what, two weeks ago? I wasn’t even thinking about it, because I sincerely believed that you were going to take care of it then. But this still hasn't been resolved?” I wasn’t even sure if she was speaking to the same person anymore. Slowly, her voice faded into the background as I focused on my diaper once again. This swollen soggy lump between my legs. I was in need of a change–nobody could deny that. Ms. Heller knew that too, though she demanded one more thing. One more, tiny little insignificant thing. I just had to poop my pants. My mind flipped through the archives, trying to remember if I had any memory of ever having done such a dirty thing. But I was coming up empty. As best as I could recall, I had never faltered on my potty training. On one hand, this would be quite the streak to be breaking now. On the other…this wouldn’t be an ‘accident.’ It’s not an accident if you do it on purpose–if that sort of thing actually mattered to me. Did it? “...and there are three different reports that came to the same conclusion about where those numbers are trending,” she was saying on the phone. I didn’t want to poop my pants. Yet, I wasn’t sure what other way there was out of this situation. If I stood up, put my pants on, and walked out the door–what would she even do? Cancel the internship? Did I even care about that? No, not especially. Fuck. I knew the truth: I did want to poop my pants. I mean, no, that specific act didn’t sound fun in itself. But I wanted to make Ms. Heller happy. I wanted to play her game. If she made me dress up like a mouse and put me in a giant wheel to run in all day, I probably would’ve done that too. I wouldn’t have liked it. But I would’ve liked earning her approval. So how do I do this now? How do I just…poop? “...have to run it again. We can’t afford not to at this point. If we’re going to hit our expected growth then…” It had taken me most of a workday to piss myself. I wondered how long I’d be sitting here on her floor. Two weeks? I felt another pang of discomfort in my guts. No, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t take two weeks, and it wouldn’t take me all day either. I wasn’t sure what had changed, but I could feel something was different. All I had to do was give my body the command, and I knew I’d be able to empty myself into the diaper. “...not happy about it, plain and simple. Do you understand…” It was getting harder to focus on her voice. All I could think about now was the diaper between my legs and what I would be doing in it soon. Any minute now. Whenever I was ready. It happened a few times: I’d psyche myself up, take a deep breath, close my eyes and begin to push. Then, as I’d start to feel my sphincter reacting to my demands, I’d shut it all down. This is really going to happen. It could happen at any moment I want. For as long as I held it, I felt like I was still Clark Ashburn. I was still in a strange spot, but a normal life still felt like it was within my grasp. But once I let go…I felt like the world was going to change. I’d be hers, and I’d have declared to her that she could make me do anything she wanted. This would be the very tip of the iceberg. “...and that’s what I’m saying,” she said into the phone. “You need to trust me and…” Okay, fine. Here we go. I released an embarrassingly long fart into the diaper–a low-end bass tone that seemed to reverberate in the sodden garment. It was too late to stop it now, and it seemed to play out in slow motion. I pushed everything out of my body, and I felt the mass creep out from me, slowly filling the limited space between my legs. And when that was filled, it seemed to seep into any other available space. It was a relief to have finished. I almost didn’t care about the absurdity of it all. Did I just shit myself in a diaper on the floor of Gabrielle Heller’s office? It didn’t matter. For a moment, I just felt good. I…felt proud of myself; like I had accomplished something. It was the smell of the diaper, whacking me in the face, that brought me back to reality. Oh shit. It smelled foul. Of course it did–it was supposed to. Yet somehow I hadn’t thought about this part of it, and now I burned with humiliation. Sitting in my own stink. My own filth. Was I really any different than an actual baby? “...have lots of things to consider. I think you and I need to set up a meeting and…” This time, it wasn’t my focus that was fading. It was her voice. I could see it on her face as she looked down at me–she smelled my diaper for the first time. “Actually,” she said into the phone. “I’m going to have to call you back. I have an entirely different kind of mess to take care of here.” She hung up the phone and stared down at me without saying a word. It was probably just a few seconds, but it felt like hours. She She slowly stood, her hands on her hips. She was smiling. “Has anyone ever told you that they’re proud of you for filling up a diaper?” “No,” I said. “I don’t think so.” “Well, today’s your lucky day.” She circled around her desk, walking closer to me. She took in a few more deep breaths through her nose. “I am very proud of you.” I exhaled, realizing that I had been holding my breath. It felt official now–I was hers. This was just the beginning. “Such a stinky, stinky, little boy. Do you have anything to say for yourself, baby?” I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to say something, but I wanted it to count. I wanted to tell her that I was all in. I wanted her to know that she could have her way with me–whatever way that was. But, surely, she already knew that. So I opened my mouth and just said the first thing that came to mind: “I…need to be changed, Mommy.”

Chapter 10: Tickles and Pigtails As the texts were being exchanged, Missy wrestled and tickled Cammie, the giggles and belly laughs warming Missy’s heart like nothing else had before. Cammie grabbed one of her stuffed animals and tried to use it to protect her from the “tickle monster”, but to no avail. Missy was on all fours directly over Cammie watching her struggle to breath from laughing so hard. She finally relented, pausing to let Cammie catch her breath, sitting back on her bottom against the couch. Cammie’s interaction had inadvertently helped push the “first voice” further into the recesses of Missy’s mind, freeing Voice #2 to “speak” even more loudly: No one seemed to care that Missy, dressed like a toddler at best, had just crawled through the house in a diaper…instead, there was only unadulterated joy, contentment, and encouragement. Mabel brought each of them a sippy cup which extended the tickle truce, allowing Cammie to nestle in between Missy’s splayed legs, both of their eyes now glued to Elmo on the TV. As Missy sat drinking her cranberry juice, she again noticed an urge to pee. Her mind’s first thought, surprisingly, was that she should just relax and use the diaper she had on. Without waiting for her conscience to object, her bladder acquiesced and Missy both felt and heard the stream of pee begin to fill her diaper. Too bothered to worry about this further, Missy just resumed concentrating on Elmo as Cammie leaned back further into Missy, oblivious to Missy’s swelling diaper below. “OK, you two! Time for dinner!” Mabel smiled as she helped the girls get settled at the table. Missy no longer hesitated with the booster seat, and while she tried to pull the chair in at the same time as she hopped on the booster, she needed the final push from Mabel to reach the table. “Thank you!” Missy offered, surprising Mabel with her acceptance of the situation. Leaning down so only Missy could hear, Mabel whispered “No…thank you!!! You are soooooo good with Cammie!” For reasons not fully known to Missy, she found herself blushing as Mabel offered encouragement. Feeling her diaper crinkle as she shifted in her seat, she felt a combination of embarrassment and encouragement intersect in her mind and body as Mabel brought food over to the table. Tonight’s “dinner” was oatmeal, applesauce, a banana with Missy also receiving celery sticks with peanut butter. Missy was famished and didn’t pause to reflect on how “babyish” the whole presentation was. Instead, her mind focused on getting as much into her mouth as quickly as she could. The smaller spoons, however, made it hard to accomplish this task, and Missy found herself once again making a mess, applesauce dribbling onto her onesie. Mabel just smiled, wondering if Missy was in fact role playing or if she really was having trouble getting the food to her mouth. Catching Mabel’s eye, Missy found herself blush again, realizing simultaneously that she shouldn’t be making such a mess, but also happy that she wasn’t getting reprimanded. All this distracted Missy from the fact that she had grabbed the sippy cup that Mabel had placed on her tray and happily began nursing the drink. While her mind momentarily noticed that the nipple on the sippy cup wasn’t the harder plastic she was expecting, but rather a soft bottle nipple, Missy quickly exchanged that thought for the deliciousness she tasted. She inwardly cooed as the warm milk with a sweet taste of honey settled in her belly. She caught Cammie’s eye and felt gratification when she noticed that Cammie had chosen to imitate her by looking for her own cup and taking a drink just like Missy was doing. Missy truly felt that she was “leading” this amazing little girl and for a fleeting second, felt like a “big girl” who was just helping a Cammie grow. When she had finished the drink, she placed the cup down on her tray a little more forcibly than she had intended, Cammie doing the same just seconds later. “Whoa!” Mabel turned, startled at the sudden noise, “Do my girls want more milk?” Mabel quickly noticed both empty cups and began warming more milk on the stove. Missy and Cammie nodded in unison before returning to scoop as much of the oatmeal and applesauce as they could each muster into their mouths. Benefiting from a larger mouth, Missy finished eating first and began working on her second cup of milk, feeling a warmth and contentment now sweep over her entire being. As she sat in her chair sucking quickly and rhythmically on the nipple, she suddenly felt a brush run through her hair behind her. Mabel had taken it upon herself to brush out Missy’s hair, which felt heavenly as Missy just sat and drank away. For as good as it felt, the strokes in her hair opened a memory from when Missy was nine years old and having a sleepover at her neighbors. Missy and Naomi were taking turns brushing and “styling” each other’s hair. While Missy sat criss-cross applesauce on Naomi’s bedroom floor, she was simultaneously enjoying the attention Naomi gave her hair and while trying to hold off her growing urge to pee when Naomi’s mom suddenly barged into the room. “Naomi!!!!” Her mother had practically screamed. “How many times do I need to tell you to bring in the cat food after dinner?!” Missy hadn’t really heard the reprimand, instead panicking as her panties and PJ bottoms became wet, the release of urine launching when her body had momentarily suspended restraint from the surprise intrusion and yelling. As Naomi had left the room to go take care of the cat, her mother had come further into the room, noticing the darkened wet spot that now soaked Missy’s pajama’s and panties before Missy had time to close her legs together. “Oh dear,” Naomi’s mother had gasped. “I’m so sorry dear, here come with me to the bathroom.” And without Missy having a chance to explain or refuse, she found Naomi’s mother’s hand taking her to the bathroom. Missy’s mother had warned Naomi’s mother that they had been fighting some bladder issues since the divorce, and now Naomi’s mother had wished she had taken more proactive steps sooner. Entering the hallway bathroom that her two daughters used, Naomi’s mother quickly grabbed a pullup from under the sink. “Now take those wet clothes off, honey, and put this pullup on. I’ll go get you some of Naomi’s pajamas while you change.” Leaving no chance for Missy to say anything, she closed the door and returned to Naomi’s room where Naomi had just returned all in a huff. Naomi’s mother sat on the bed and apologized for yelling before quickly explaining as sensitively as she could that Missy had wet her pants. She talked about how hard Missy’s life was at the time and how this was just part of her dealing with the divorce and how Naomi needed to support her friend and not make a big deal of it. She asked Naomi to grab a set of pajama bottoms for her friend before proceeding to clean up the small wet spot that had hit the carpet. “Now when Missy comes back in, please don’t make a big deal of this…be a friend and don’t embarrass her ok?” Naomi pleaded. Naomi nodded, both stunned and empathetic to her friend’s plight. Minutes later, Missy came back into the bedroom, now wearing white pajama bottoms that Naomi had picked out, the animal prints on the pullup clearly visible through the material. Not missing a beat, Naomi resumed her spot on the floor with her brush. “Come on Missy! I’m not done braiding your hair!” Naomi patted on a dry spot in front of her as Naomi leaned up against her bed. Missy went over and sat down, blushing as it was obvious to everyone she had changed and was wearing “protection.” Hopeful that she could just move past this moment, she sat down between Naomi’s splayed legs and allowed her to resume brushing her hair. Silence hung in the air for several minutes as Naomi decided that pigtails would be the appropriate hair style. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered to Missy, “It’s ok, Missy, if you wet your pullup I won’t tell anyone…" Suddenly, Missy felt herself peeing, her diaper. Between drinking the milk, having her hair brushed, and replaying a rather traumatic 9-year-old moment, Missy hadn’t even really noticed that she had drifted back in thought. Feeling her diaper expand, Missy paused her drink and lowered her head to look toward her diaper. The onesie was doing a good job to keep the diaper snug and there appeared to be no leaking that Missy could detect. Her heart beat faster at the remembrance of wetting herself in front of her friend, yet the soothing feeling of having her hair being brushed brought a sense of comfort. Together, these emotions collided and melded leaving Missy feeling childish, anxious and comforted all at the same time. Mabel had observed the whole thing and quietly leaned over to Missy’s ear, “Good girl honey, see, everything is going to be ok, just relax and we’ll change that wet diaper soon.” Missy trembled at how eerie it was that this action mimicked her past experience with Naomi. Yet, just as Naomi had genuinely cared for Missy in that moment, so too Mabel was now offering the assurances she desperately wanted to embrace. Missy didn’t even realize that Mabel had created two pigtails in Missy’s hair, but instead did become increasingly aware of how suddenly sleepy she was once again feeling. Putting her bottle down, she noticed that somehow a binky on a lanyard had found its way around her neck. She eagerly put it in her mouth, relaxing her body and seeming to enter a “food coma” that babies get after filling their tummy. Missy wasn’t aware that it was the sleep medication that had been put in the bottle that was having this effect on her, but rather found delight in the fact that she could just rest again, hoping she could be in her bed again very soon. While Tammy and Mabel had debated via text about continuing to use the sleep medication, they had finally agreed that it would be good to use over the weekend. There was no doubt the rest was helping to reduce Missy’s stress as well as the amount of “awake” time that Missy was having to overthink everything that was happening. Fighting to keep her eyes open, Missy became focused only on her drink, her pulls on the nipple becoming less strong and less frequent. She noticed bright colors and bubbles floating around on the TV screen in the living room, like a psychedelic screensaver, as lullaby music played in the background. The bubbles and colors were entrancing, and Missy felt her eyelids getting heavier and heavier as she tried desperately to get milk from the nipple into her mouth. Mabel returned to see Missy asleep in her chair, sippy cup on the floor, and mouth slightly agape. Mabel did her best to gently awaken Missy, not wanting her to fall out of the chair if she was startled when she awoke. After much soothing effort, Mabel finally got Missy to rouse, and encouraged her to scoot down on the floor as there was no way Mabel was going to be able to carry or otherwise transport Missy to the bedroom. Missy was incredibly groggy and not happy to be awake. She felt light-headed as she became aware of being on all fours on the kitchen floor with a binky hanging around her neck. She vaguely heard Mabel encouraging her to head toward the bedroom, but in reality, Missy needed no encouragement. She was exhausted. As she scooted her knees and hands along the floor, she felt the warm, full diaper shift against her body, crinkling rather loudly down the hall. Missy felt the pigtails dance on her shoulders as she swayed her hips with each crawl. She was relieved to get to the bedroom and easily crawled up onto the mattress. Once on the mattress, Mabel unsnapped Missy’s onesie removed her diaper, cleaned and powdered her privates and put on a fresh overnight diaper. Resecuring the onesie, she tucked Missy in under the blanket. Placing the binky gently in Missy’s mouth, Mabel took a look back at her “girls” as she turned off the light and made a mental note to work on Missy’s onesie pajamas. Missy needed no further encouragement, her body again drifting into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional

Just a small update. I've finally gotten some more free time and I'm trying to get back into the writing groove. I'm hoping to have some more regular updates “Make yourself at home; you’re Uschi’s relatives, so we consider you friends of the family and we’ll all treat you as such.” At that part Nikolaus glanced at Azrael. She shut her mouth with a tight smile and respectful bob of her head. The bells on her horns tinkled softly. “I thought you were sleeping after your all-nighter.” “I had a nice morning nap. And I’ve been wanting to meet Sonja and her baby.” One snowy eyebrow rose, silently questioning if Az had any problem with that. “Jackie needs help with the baby.” She turned on her hoof and calmly walked away, pointedly in no hurry like she was going to do that anyway before Nikolas appeared. But her back was ramrod stiff, posture tense and movements jerky, making her long burgundy skirt swish. Nicky dozed on her shoulder, oblivious to the world. Sonja stared, still frozen with awkward politeness. No one ever looked forward to meeting her, and especially her baby. A faint, vague feeling of exhaustion and dread of many people disliking Reila lingered in her gut. But Reila was just a baby, and who could hate a baby? It must be leftover memories from that awful dream she had where Reila was grown into a spoiled rotten teenager. She shuddered and looked at her daughter in Emma Jean’s arms. Reila fisted her hands in Emma Jean’s neon green velour and stared open mouthed at the jolly fat man. “Sa-ta!” Spit bubbled around her lips and ran down her chin before splattering on her bib. She trembled. Santa. Father Christmas. Pere Noel. Weihnachtsmann. Different trappings and trimmings that varied by culture, but essentially the spirit boiled down to the same thing. A kind loving man who embodied good will and giving. Everyone loved Santa. Fear twisted her insides into knots as she stared into those laughing eyes and merry dimples. The psychotic goat who acted so badass and above everyone folded like a house of cards before him. So why the hell hadn’t he stopped Azrael before she ruined Reila’s life? “Sa-ta!” Reila kicked her legs and shook Emma Jean’s shoulders, trying to make the insufferable bitch drop her. She wanted out of here! Rational thought fled; all that mattered was getting away. Crawl if she had to. She bit down hard on Emma Jean’s shoulder. Pain flared in her gums, her limbs flailing and the crinkle of her diaper filling the room. Emma Jean didn’t even flinch at the pressure and slobber. “What a squirmy wormy baby!” Emma Jean laughed and bounced Reila, deftly plucking her up in the air. Spittle smeared all over Reila’s cheeks and chin. All she’d done to the velour witch was leave a big wet patch on her shoulder. Reila never felt so helpless. She whimpered, kicking her legs in the air. A muffled fart escaped. Her diaper was wet with her pee, and her cheeks slick with a heavy layer of diaper cream so she didn’t know if it was just a fart or a little poo leaking out. “Your little baby’s got quite the temper! Reminds me of Jax when he’s grumpy and doesn’t want his diaper changed. And J.J. when she was in her terrible twos! She loved to bite.” Jill laughed, diamond earrings sparkling in the winter sunlight coming through the windows. Tears welled in Reila’s eyes. Emma Jean bounced her up and down in the air. Her short skirt flounced up and down, enormous pink diaper on display for everyone to see. “Aww, here come the toots! Next baby needs to fill her diapee up with all the icky oo poos making you so cranky! You’ll be our little princess poops a lot!” The humiliation burned. After all she’d been through, she should be numb to it by now. Fear and anger churned in her with no way out except to kick, squirm, and scream. Helpless like a baby. She was a baby now. She couldn’t even bite! Reila looked at Sonja, who smiled and waved but made no move to take her whining baby. A loud fart ripped from her padded behind. Sonja, Emma Jean, and Santa all heard it. Emma Jean giggled. “Oh, just like my Rachie playing the butt trumpet! Good thing this diapee is so thick, otherwise baby Riley would blow a hole through it!” Reila’s cheeks turned red. Sonja smiled and shook her head at how silly she found Emma Jean. Santa laughed. “That’s not the first diaper blow out in this house, and certainly won’t be the last.” Reila screeched and kicked harder. Her soggy diaper crinkled. Did the fat bastard put Azrael up to it? Was this monster actually Satan in disguise? No Santa- kind, loving forgiving, jolly spirit who gave toys to children. To good children. And kids on the naughty list got a lump of coal. Had she been so naughty she was punished with making lumps in her diaper? That thought soured her stomach. The world truly was against her, hating her for no reason. It always had- Reila had to fight ever since she was little. Sonja was no help, she never was. Stupid vapid bitch. Sonja watched Reila’s growing tantrum and sighed. “Riley, sweetie. Shh. It’s okay.” Holding Reila wouldn’t stop her tantrums; she just keep screeching no matter who held her until she tired herself out. Sonja just enjoyed her small respite while others were around to take care of her baby. “Here, I’ll take the baby. Emma Jean, why don’t you go to the kitchen. Poor Sonja hasn’t had a drink yet.” Nikolaus extended his arms; Emma Jean didn’t hesitate to hand over the squirming, crying Reila. He laid her over his shoulder, ignoring her flailing limbs, one hand cupping her puffy thick diaper and rubbing it. Tears and snot dripped down Reila’s face and onto his red sweater. “Poor little thing. She’s had such a rough time, making a big move from America to Germany. And now she’s in a strange house with a bunch of strange people.” He patted her bottom, diaper crinkling some more, then rubbed her back. A series of loud farts filled the room, the thick plastic and padding absorbing the smell. Along with soft mushy lumps that slipped out her bottom. Reila gasped, choking on her tears as her bottom exploded. More farts and poop popped out, her diaper expanding and sagging under the weight she deposited into it. The mess filled the back of her diaper, coating her cheeks and creeping up towards her back, but the huge diaper was able to contain it all. Her crotch warmed as her bladder let loose, but she was already so wet she didn’t feel her diaper get any wetter. The only sensation she had was of warmth. After what felt like an embarrassing eternity, all activity in her diaper stopped. She felt her mess creep forward towards her crotch. Her diaper was well and truly saturated and sagging with a full seat. Her short dress did nothing to hide how well used her diaper was. Emma Jean and Jill immediately clapped once it was clear Reila finished. Startled, Sonja looked bewildered. She couldn’t figure out why they were clapping- maybe it was a cultural thing?- but she didn’t want to be left out, so she clapped too. “Yay, baby Riley pooped like a champ in her pamp! Princess Poops A lot made a lot of boom-booms! No more ickies to make your tummy yucky-wucky.” Emma Jean cooed. “Good baby! No need to hold back, your diapees keep you safe and protected!” Jill encouraged. “Well, I hope that helped her feel better. With any luck she won’t be so fussy for the rest of the day.” Emma Jean patted Sonja’s arm. “Oh, honey. Babies get fussy for many reasons. But don’t worry, we’re here to help. Now, come on, let’s go get a glass of wine! Nik here is the best with the kids, he’s watched Rachie for me loads of times!” “The Klauses are our go-to babysitters.” Jill added to reassure Sonja. “Ma!” Reila squirmed and whimpered, feeling the muddy mush in her diaper squish around with every move she made. She held a hand out to Sonja. Sonja caught her hand and gave it a little squeeze. “You be a good girl, baby!” She looked at the fat jolly old man she just met. Normally she wouldn’t just hand her responsibility over to a stranger, but everyone was so kind, and he was Emma Jean’s relative. Sonja trusted her- heck she wanted to learn from Emma Jean. Maybe Emma Jean got all her baby know-how from Nik here? This could be good for Reila. And a glass of wine sounded really good right now. Maybe she could talk to Emma Jean about the vivid nightmare that kept haunting her…it still felt so real… A heavy hand patted Reila’s rump, squishing and smooshing the mess all over her. She whined and kicked in protest. Santa only chuckled as the women walked off. Once they were gone, he looked Reila straight in the eye. His gaze was kind, but sad. No anger or hatred or retribution. Just sad and disappointed. “Reila, you and I need to have a little talk.”

That would be a hilarious shirt for a pregnant woman who has a sense of humor! ?

It's rough having potty issues at school... ----- Chapter 5 "Hey Briana!" Tamira, her main study-buddy, flagged her down from the door of one of the study rooms. Briana waved back but didn't hurry over, anything above a slow walk made her crinkle. It probably wasn't that loud but to Briana's paranoid ears it sounded like everyone could hear it. "Hey Tamara," Briana said. "Are we the first ones?" "Yeah, and probably the only ones today," Tamara said. "Thanks for not letting me down!" "No problem," Briana sat carefully across from Tamira. "Are you letting your hair grow out?" Tamira nodded, proudly patting the thick curls around her head. "Yeah, actually got a job where the dress code doesn't prohibit my natural hair." "That's awesome!" Briana said. "It looks really pretty." "Thanks hon," Tamira said, beaming. Digging into the material for their Advanced Topics in Biotechnology course was enough to wipe pretty much all the little-feeling from Briana's mind. It wasn't until the second hour that the soda kicked in and Briana felt caught between mindsets again. Going back to being little was a long, long way from talking to Tamira about synthetic bacteria production. Since getting everything sorted out over the summer, she hadn't wet at all while in big-space. Hoping Tamira wouldn't notice, Briana bit her lip and carefully relaxed. It wasn't a ton of wetting, but enough to soak her crotch and run back across her rear. Squished as it was by her jeans, the diaper couldn't expand, which meant the wet feeling wasn't going away any time soon. Tamira didn't seem to notice at all. They continued on with the studying while Briana reveled in her little secret. By the end, both women were rubbing their eyes from the strain of going back and forth between books, notes, and online journals on their phones. "That's probably enough for today," Tamira said. "We should catch up a little anyway. You kinda vanished over the summer." "Yeah I uh, had a lot of stuff going on," Briana said, squirming in her wet diaper. "Yeah, I heard that you got like, assaulted after a biochem final," Tamira said with a sympathetic frown. "Are you okay?" "That was really bad," Briana said, looking down. "But my roommates were super cool and helped me out a ton. It's better now, thanks." "Well I want you to know that whatever issues you're having, I've got your back, okay?" Tamira said. "Oh uh, thank you," Briana said. A nervous knot was growing inside her. How much had Tamira heard anyway? "No problem, really," Tamira said. "If you need anything, I'm right on campus in the graduate dorms. You can always borrow a pair of pants... or whatever." Briana blushed profusely, there's no way that spare pants were being offered as a coincidence. She should have expected that the story would spread after Lisa flipped up her skirt during her biggest, worst accident. "Seriously, I'm not judging your or anything!" Tamira said. "I want to help if I can." "Um, thanks," Briana said. "Look, I should go..." "Oh sweetie, I'm really sorry I said anything," Tamira said with a worried expression. "I wanted you to know that it's more than your roommates that got your back." Briana squirmed, in no small part because the squashed diaper was STILL not absorbing everything. "I... okay, yeah. It's just um, an embarrassing problem." "I totally get it, and I'm not saying that I understand your issues or whatever, because I'm sure I don't," Tamira said. "I want to be supportive." With a big sigh, Briana banished the butterflies in her stomach. "Okay, thank you Tamira." "And for real, if you need help right now..." Tamira said, giving a gentle smile. "I'm only saying because there's a little bit of a smell hon." Going scarlet down to the collar of her shirt, Briana put her hands in her lap and curled in on herself. Unfortunately, Tamira wasn't giving her any reason to make a scene, she was waiting patiently like a good friend, or something. After a few minutes the position was uncomfortable enough that Briana had to uncurl and face her friend. "I mean I can just go home, my ride is picking me up in an hour or two," Briana said. "You don't have to sit in it for that long, come on, let me get you some spare protection," Tamira said. "Wait, why do you have dia – um, protection?" Briana asked. "I'll tell you why when we get to my dorm, okay?" Tamira said with a wink. Confused and embarrassed, but curious too, Briana packed up her books and followed Tamira out of the library. It was a quick trip, across one lawn and around a building before she was heading up the elevator to Tamira's place. She had to admit that two more hours in the diaper didn't feel like a good idea, her skin was already gross and rashy. Tamira's dorm was basically a studio apartment, even with a tiny kitchenette. Small, sure, but everything was nice and newish. There was a cool coral and brown color scheme going on that almost looked like it was out of a magazine. "Wow, your place is nice!" Briana said, setting her bag down. "Aw, thank you hon," Tamira said. "So, I know this is going to be a super big ask, but can I see your diaper?" Briana looked down and dug a hole in the carpet with her toe. "I don't know..." "Oh right, I didn't tell you yet!" Tamira said. "Here's the deal, I'm trying to get my boyfriend to wear them, so I have most of the stuff but I wanted to see how somebody else was wearing them. To see how it goes." "You are?" Briana cocked her head to the side. "Why?" "Cause I think it's super hot," Tamira said with a big grin. "We have a whole kinky thing going on, and I think it'd be a great add. Don't worry, I'm not hitting on you, I'm not into girls. This is for research." Briana dithered, chewing her lip. Apparently the whole school knew about her, which she probably should have guessed. Tamira was being nice and maybe it would be okay, especially if Tamira was excited about it. Looking Tamira in the eyes she saw the same, goofy nerdy expression that Tamira had when she got excited about virus interactions. With a shy smile, Briana unbuttoned her jeans and slowly unzipped them. After another moment to gather her courage, she slid her pants down and stepped out of them. Tamira's face lit up, she did a quick circle around Briana and grinned. "Girl, those are cute! Where did you get those?" "I don't know, my uh... Veronica buys them for me," Briana said. "Oh um, except these came from uh... someone else." "Well they are really pretty, I like the skateboarding unicorns," Tamira said. She was holding her hands away from her side like she didn't know what to do with them. Briana rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Tamira. "You can touch them if you want," she said. The words were hardly out of her mouth before Tamira was patting her butt, and giving the rest of the diaper a quick once-over. True to her word, it wasn't a sexy touch, but it still made Briana feel little. Standing in front of someone in her diapers had always meant being little. "Okay, I'll stop," Tamira said reluctantly. "There's a bunch of them in the bathroom cabinet, behind the towels." After being released from her jeans, the diaper had finally absorbed all the liquid, but Briana still wanted to clean off. She tried wetting, figuring she might as well get it all out, as she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. A good sized trickle flowed into her diaper, properly absorbed this time. The towels were on the bathroom counter and Briana was investigating Tamira's diaper stash before she realized she could have used the toilet. Giggling softly to herself, Briana popped the tapes on her diaper and dumped it in the trash. Tamira was right, there was a bit of a smell, and the diaper padding was dark yellow. Briana resolved to drink more water. There was a single box of wipes, so Briana took one and did her best, reaching under herself with her foot on the toilet. Immediately she felt bad for criticizing Melody, it was not easy to make sure she'd wiped everywhere. "You okay in there hon?" Tamira asked. "Yeah uh, I'm just not used to um, doing this myself," Briana said, managing to get that embarrassing info out only because she had a door between her and Tamira. "Are you saying you need some help?" Tamira asked. "Because I could really use the practice for my boyfriend." "No, I wouldn't expect you to..." Briana said, unable to make herself complete that sentence. "Seriously, I want it to go well when I do it with him, so I do need practice. I've tried putting them on myself but it's not the same," Tamira said. "Don't say yes if you're uncomfortable, but I'm offering." Briana hesitated for a while, then tossed the wipe in the trash. The limits of her big girl patience was already stressed to the limit. She wanted to be little badly, and she knew she couldn't do that with Tamira. Maybe she could at least be taken care of instead. "Yes please," Briana said, opening the door shyly. "Um, I guess there's no point in me covering up..." "Not if I'm about to change you," Tamira said. She stepped into the bathroom and gave Briana a warm, friendly hug. There was nothing romantic about it and her eyes hadn't even dropped down to Briana's crotch. Breathing a bit easier, Briana returned the hug. "Uh, got another big favor to ask," Tamira said. "Do you mind putting the old one back on? So I can do the whole process?" Briana shrugged and nodded, pulling the diaper out of the otherwise clean trash. It was a bit awkward to get the tapes set, but with Tamira's help, she managed it. "Okay, I'm going to get you out of that quick, promise," Tamira said. Grabbing a towel and Briana's hand, she led Briana back to the bed and had her lie back on the towel. "Tell me if I'm messing it up, okay?" Lying back with her legs spread, Briana was surprised she wasn't nervous when Tamira ripped the tapes open. There had been enough diaper changes to make it feel normal even with an unexpected person. "Nice plug," Tamira said. "Do you want to leave it in?" "Yes please, it's not uncomfortable," Briana said. The businesslike way that Tamira wiped her down helped too, her study buddy obviously had babysitting experience. Thinking about being babysat made her want one of her stuffed animals. "I can't be little with Tamira," Briana reminded herself. "She doesn't play that game with me." The soiled diaper was replaced with a fresh one, probably the biggest one anyone had tried to put on Briana. She'd never met Tamira's boyfriend but they must be for him. A soft sprinkle of powder and the ticklish sensation of having it patted down on her made Briana giggle. "Sorry this is so big, you could probably wear actual pampers, as tiny as you are," Tamira said. "Yeah, I think we used a box of those once," Briana said. "I'll grab one and have it on hand in case you need help," Tamira said in a pleased tone. "I should say no," Briana thought. "But then she'll ask why, and I shouldn't tell her about Gary, I don't know if he wants anyone to know he plays like this." Tamira seemed fine taking silence for a yes, and anyway she was busy taping Briana up. It wasn't exactly a snug fit, but it was pretty good considering how big the diaper was. She sat up cross legged and poked at her diaper. "How did I do?" Tamira asked. "Good," Briana said sincerely. "Um, it's good to use a little lotion before the powder, just in case of rashes. The diaper is too big, but even so you did a good job taping it." "That was fun, I'll take care of you any time you need it," Tamira said, giving Briana another hug. Briana clung back, holding on to the last shreds of her big girl mode with some difficulty. As the hug separated she had to fight to keep her thumb out of her mouth. "I probably should go home, but uh, Tamira, thank you," Briana said. "I told you, any time. I need the practice, I don't want ta screw up after I convince my boyfriend," Tamira said. "I'll think about it, okay?" Briana said, grinning and working her way into her jeans. The bad fit on the diaper actually made it easier to squeeze in, but made for an instant worry about leaks. "I don't actually need to use a diaper during the day," Briana reminded herself. "I can be a big girl and stay dry!" Even so, going straight home seemed like a good idea. She even remembered to text Mom to let her know that she was taking the bus home. Mom was proud of her for that, which put a nice happy glow on the trip. Back at the house Briana was the first one back, which was super weird. The two-story living room was always a little echoy, but this time there were no other noises to cover it up. "Boo!" Briana cried out, giggling when the echo came back. Melody's door was partway open, so Briana headed straight in and grabbed the laundry basket. It was a bit of a struggle to get it downstairs, the thing was overflowing with more than a week of laundry. Briana sorted the laundry into piles, pausing when a familiar scent hit her nose. A pair of jeans and a couple of pairs of leggings had clearly been soaked with pee. Briana stared at them curiously, surprised that Melody would be having accidents. It didn't seem to be a very common thing, only three accidents in what looked like two weeks. Still, it was worth showing Melody that it was okay to wear protection if she needed it! Excited to be able to help her friend, Briana put those clothes in the laundry first. She added the special soap that Veronica had bought to deal with Briana's accidents to make sure the smell would be gone. With the clothes washing, Briana headed upstairs to watch some TV

Chapter 37: Impact Love in Dimensions – LittleFallenPrincess ‘Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...' That was all that was running through my head as Noelle flicked the switch through the air. I couldn’t believe it had come to this. I hated feeling this powerless... and sure, we had been without magic for a while now... but after getting it back, and more importantly being against someone with magic... it frustrated me even more. We were all powerless against Adeline right now. Sure, Alex and Morgan have the physical advantage... but against magic? They were like... ugh... I hate to say it, but they were like babies... I looked up at Alex and Morgan, who were in exactly the same predicament as I was, dressed in outfits we would normally dress our partners in, about to get spanked against our will... I squirmed about in the wet nappy as Adeline looked at us all. “Now... obviously the stupidly ridiculous nappies your ‘babies’ are wearing are probably cushioning the blow... so let’s fix that shall we?” Adeline announced. Panic quickly set in as I realised what this meant. Bare hand with magically altered strength was bad enough. A switch on my bare arse? Honestly... I’d rather die... ...again. I squirmed more as Noelle pulled down my nappy. My heart was racing as I saw the shadow cast by Noelle’s arm moving up. ‘No... please...’ And with a thunderous crack, all four of us screamed out in pain as the spanking implements hit our skin. Unable to talk like adults, we resorted to crying and screaming as our bodies wracked with pain. The lingering feeling across my bare bum wasn’t dissipating, it still stung just as much as a few seconds ago. Then just as I thought I was managing the pain, another thwack rippled through the air as Noelle smacked me with the switch once more. And again. And again. And again. Tears streamed down my face as the switch repeatedly impacted my arse. And from the screaming and flailing in front of me, it looked like the other variations of me weren’t handling it any better. Morgan’s augmented limbs weren’t helping her right now as she flailed about on Faith’s lap. Alex had tears rolling down her face. And Charlie was trying her best to put on a brave face, but you could hear her mumbled screams coming from her tightly closed mouth. After about 10 hits, everything went silent again. The spankings stopped. I heard Adeline talking to someone on the other side of the room. “Fine. Let me at least try my thing first, okay? Let me try it on Rose, then if it works... we’ll have unlimited magic from Noelle. If it doesn’t, we’ll just... drain her.” ‘She’s... she’s probably talking to the other two... what on Earth has she got planned for us?’ Adeline’s heels clacked against the floor as she walked back over to us all. “Right, apparently I’m not allowed to have any more fun. At least with the stars of the show here... but you... copies... whatever you are... they never said anything about letting you go...” Adeline looked at the others before turning her attention back to Noelle and I. “Now, little Rosie... let’s go try out my idea, shall we?” Her grin got bigger as she waved her wand and I was magically lifted up into the air, away from Noelle’s lap. Conjuring a pram, Adeline gently lowered me into it as Noelle got to her feet and took hold of the pram’s handle with both her hands. “Follow me. You lot... put the littles in the playpen, make sure they have fun or whatever...” She ordered to Noelle’s variations before walking off. I looked up out of the pram to see the others ‘Mummies’ get up and place their charges back into the playpen, as Noelle pushed me out of the room. ------------------------------------------------- ‘Still warded here... no chance of using any magic... fuck!’ I thought to myself as Noelle pushed me into a new room, one that looked medical like the first room had originally been. And in the centre... was a table. A large medical table made of marble. “Noelle... put your girlfriend on the table.” Adeline ordered. Gently lifting me up out of the pram, Noelle carried me over to the centre of the room and placed me down with care. “So I guess you’re both wondering what I’ve got in store for the both of you...” Waving her wand in front of a pedestal by the head of the table, a book appeared... a very old one... “So normally, we’d take a Witch, absorb their soul and their magic, leaving them an empty husk, and then we’d throw them away. It’s a bit messy, and once they’re drained... that’s it. But then...” Flipping through the pages, she paused her sentence until she found the one she was looking for. “Aha! So yeah, so all this baby nonsense gave me an idea...” Noelle and I were powerless right now, and we needed more information anyway, so we just stayed silent and motionless as Adeline did her big villainous speech. “What if we didn’t have to drain you completely?” ‘But how would you do that?’ I thought to myself. “That’s when it hit me... what if we drain most of you, regress you... and then wait for you to regain all that power as you grow up again? Then we can drain you once more, repeating the process over and over again. With any other Witch... it’d be like having table scraps over and over again, and with the cost of the spell being so high... it’s not worth it. But then with you two... it’d be like a feast every time. Well worth the sacrifices we’d have to make to cast the regression spell.” ‘Regression spell? But don’t they... oh god...’ My mouth dropped open, the dummy in my mouth falling to the floor. “Oh you got it eh? You always were a smart one...” Adeline grinned. Noelle just looked confused. Her actions and speech were not her own, but she still managed to pull a look of confusion. “Ageing is a difficult thing to conquer. We should know, we’ve been doing it for a long time now.” Adeline laughed. “Basically... what we’d do is do exactly the same thing we do to ourselves... only... we’d take it a bit further.” ‘Seriously... she can’t mean... but...’ “So we’ll drain you to within an inch of your life... then we’ll cast the spell to regress you. But whilst me and the other Council members go back a decade or so each time... we’ll send you right back to infancy. Then we can re-raise you. Over the years you’ll regain your magic like you did when you grew up the first time, but you’ll be much more obedient each time. A limitless source of power controlled by us...” I could see the look of fear on Noelle’s face. “Obviously we need to test the theory on someone first... and who better than your girlfriend Rose? She’s a powerful Witch, but she doesn’t have your affinity. We can’t risk anything happening to you Noelle...” I squirmed about but found I couldn’t move much, my body was pretty much frozen in place. “And even better... we’ve got some lovely little sacrifices in the other room...” Adeline’s creepy grin grew once again. “Oh, I didn’t tell you? To cast the spell, we need to sacrifice someone else’s life force in order to grant you more. Like I said, we only go back a decade or so with our ages, and any basic Witch can provide enough life force for us to do that. But if you’re going back to babyhood... then we’ll just take as many sacrifices as we need.” I wanted to tear her limb from limb. I wanted to fight back. But I just couldn’t. “Now... you two stay here whilst I go and find our first sacrifice. Don’t move.” Adeline said before leaving us on our own in the cold, clinical room. Once she left, it went completely silent as I looked up at Noelle. ‘I’m sorry my love... I wish I could save us from this... but I don’t think we can get out of here.’ A tear rolled down Noelle’s cheek. I had never wanted to hold her so much in my life. ----------------------Meanwhile---------------------- I sat in the playpen, not sure as to what I should do. My wife, Liv, looked down at me with the same face I’d give her when she’s in littlespace. “Come on Charlie, play with the dollies! You’ll have lots of fun, I promise!” She said in that creepy tone from before. Squirming about carefully, I tried not to move my butt too much as it was still sore from the spanking we had just received. ‘I swear if I get my hands on that Witch...’ I thought to myself as I nudged a doll, trying to pretend like I was doing something. “Come on baby...” Liv gently patted my head. ‘Ugh...’ “Blaa bah ba bleh bab bbbab!” I tried complaining, but whatever this spell was still prevented me from sounding like an adult. My coordination was off a bit, but at least I still had control of my body, unlike Olivia and her variations. The worst part is that I’m not sure how we’re going to escape from this. Sure, our Witches have power again... but apparently this place blocks it, making them as useful as a chocolate fireguard. Looking around at my variations, they were also humiliated as much as I was as they refused to play with the babyish toys set in front of them. “Blah...” Alex said. “No Lexi, you’re not allowed out.” Paige said to her before pushing the blocks closer to her wife, who just looked unimpressed. Morgan looked... well Morgan looked odd. Her face was scrunched up for some reason. ‘As if... wait... oh no. I’ve seen that face before. Liv’s made that face a lot of times when she’s needed to go... potty. Fuck, I never thought I’d have to do that, but seeing Morgan struggle with holding it in right now reminded me that I’m most likely going to have to do the same soon...’ My stomach started gurgling a bit. ‘No... please no...’ Morgan got up on her knees and got into the pose I’d seen Liv in plenty of times. ‘I’m so sorry Morgan...’ I thought as a noise erupted from her backside. “Oh fuck... what was that?” I heard from the doorway. It was Adeline once again. ‘What the fuck does she want? Where are Rose and Noelle? Surely she can’t be done with them already?’ “Oh... I see... eww. Glad I’m not the one to change you...” Adeline mocked Morgan as she filled her nappy, her girlfriend watching with a creepy smile set on her face. “Go... do it.” Faith lifted Morgan out of the playpen and went over to the changing table to change her girlfriend’s nappy. Adeline then walked over to the playpen where the rest of us sat. “So... obviously I won’t be using those two until she’s been changed... so how about...” She started looking at us all, one by one, obviously selecting one of us for something. Before she stopped on me... “Wait... my spell should have transformed all of you... what are you doing with that necklace still on?” ‘Wait... necklace? Oh...’ Before I could finish my thought, Adeline leant down and grabbed the necklace with her hand, inspecting it closely. “Created by magic of some kind... what on Earth is it? Let’s have a look...” She tugged at the necklace wrapped around my neck, breaking the clasp on the back. As soon as the metal broke contact with my body, I felt a rush of something within me. I assumed it was magic, because I could feel my strength returning. Whilst Rose and Noelle had said that I’d retain some of my strength, it turned out that that wasn’t the case. I was stronger than any little-bodied person, sure, but I didn’t have the strength I once had as an Amazon. I didn’t want to tell them this though, as honestly I didn’t want that strength whilst I was as tall as Liv. I liked being able to lift her up even whilst the same height as her, but I didn’t want to be any stronger than that. But now... I could feel that strength rush back to me as the spell contained in the necklace wore off. Inspecting the necklace closer, she was too focused on it to notice what was going on in front of her. The world around me slowly started getting smaller once again. Inch by inch, I grew taller and taller until I was at my original height. The room wasn’t built to accommodate someone of my size, so I was hunched over with my head touching the ceiling. Looking down at the Witch who was now half my size, I smiled as she looked up from the necklace to see my legs... then my body... then my grin. “WHAT THE....?” She screamed. I lunged forward before she could whip out her wand, grabbing her head with both hands. She was too shocked to react or say anything... ...and then I squeezed. ========================================================== ? I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, as well as the first chapter of my new Diaper Dimension story, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Love in Dimensions and my new story. New chapters of Love in Dimensions every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! ?

I guess that means I wrote them right! I actually sketched out an arc in which that happened, but it just didn't feel right. Jackie isn't a character that seems to ever win. That's a good idea! Thanks for all of the comments so far. Here is the conclusion to this one. -- Jackie woke up to a gentle touch to her forehead. Groggily, she opened her eyes, and she started a bit when she found Miss Julia standing over her, having briefly forgotten where she was. “Shh shh shh,” Miss Julia whispered, managing to affect a soothing coo. She continued to gently rub Jackie’s head. Jackie settled slightly, but then tensed right back up as she felt the remnants of her diarrhea shift around with her movement. At this, Miss Julia gently flashed a sympathetic smile. “I know, baby,” she whispered, now softly massaging Jackie’s shoulder to reassure her. “We’re gonna take you right to the bath before we wake up the other girls, ok?” Blankly, Jackie nodded, though she wasn’t sure if this was really a question that required her input. Miss Julia lowered the side of the crib as quietly as she could, which successfully avoided waking up her twin charges. “Ok,” she continued, with a gentle yet firm command. I have a changing mat on the floor in the bathroom. I’m going to take off your blanket and take it right to the laundry. But I’m also going to take your sheets and the plastic mattress cover off and give them to you. Can you walk with them under you and go right over to the changing mat for me?” Jackie nodded once again. Miss Julia was whispering in the sort of way one might to a child, but she was using adult terms. Perhaps this cleanup was serious enough that she’d decided that a compromise was in order. “Alright, here we go then,” Miss Julia said, gingerly grabbing clean parts of the blanket and painstakingly rolling it up so that she could carry it without touching any mess. As the blanket came off, the smell of Jackie’s diaper became even more pronounced, though the room had been offensive for long enough that Jackie was almost nose-blind to it. Next, Miss Julia released the four corners of the fitted sheet and the mattress cover, which threatened to engulf Jackie. “Let’s put your feet down now, ok?” she said, prompting Jackie to sit up while maneuvering the sheets so that they sagged through Jackie’s crotch like an enormous diaper cover, and then handing them to the still-drowsy Jackie. Jackie took them, and without prompting, stood up and moved towards the door. Though her diaper felt much drier than it had before, she could instantly feel some of the substantial amount of liquid that remained flooding down. She kept moving, but looked down, and could see that some more was falling down onto the sheets, but it did appear that Miss Julia’s little invention was at least keeping the floor clean, which, Jackie hated to admit, was quite an accomplishment. Fortunately, the bathroom was only just outside of the nursery door. Even still, the walk was miserable for Jackie. With every step, the horrible mess in her diaper shifted with her, sloshing the nastiness all around her privates, and confirming that she had, indeed, developed a pretty tender rash over the course of the night. As they turned the corner into the bathroom, Jackie saw the changing mat waiting for her and made her way to it. From just behind her, Miss Julia once again took control of the situation. “Ok, baby, stand still for me, ok?” With no wait for an answer, she stepped to Jackie’s side, and gently took both ends of the sheets Jackie had been holding out of her hands. Carefully, she lowered the sheets down closer to the floor, and then moved the corners into one hand below Jackie’s legs, allowing her to pull them away from her front and ball them up a bit. She placed them carefully atop the crib’s blanket, which she’d left in the corner of the bathroom. “Alright,” she continued as she turned back, “and let’s get that onesie, too, so I can get it in the wash with the rest.” Despite the confident tone, Miss Julia didn’t quite seem to have a plan for how to remove the onesie in anything like a sanitary manner. Jackie couldn’t see it, but she could guess that the crotch snaps of the onesie were stained with the leakage that had clearly wet the garment further up her back. After looking around a moment, Miss Julia reached down to the container of baby wipes next to the mat, grabbed one, and used that to cover her fingers as she unsnapped the buttons. Even then, there was still work to do. Miss Julia now shifted her grasp to the back of the onesie, still using the wipe as protection for her hands. “Alright, hands up, please,” she directed. Jackie complied, and felt Miss Julia lift the back side of the onesie up, peeling some of the wetness off of her back. She was pulling it as far away as she could and eventually Jackie felt her other hand slip under the neckline on her back, helping to guide it up over her head. She then used the free arm to help slip Jackie’s arms out, and suddenly the onesie was off. Somehow, the nastiness hadn’t touched Jackie any further, which seemed like a minor miracle. “Good girl,” said Miss Julia, flashing a reassuring smile as she turned and gathered the rest of the soiled items from the corner. “Now just stand still for one second while I go and put all of this right in the washer. Hopefully we won’t have too many stains on your cute little onesie. I am sure you probably are feeling icky and itchy, but please try not to touch anything while you wait. I’ll be right back.” Jackie was fine with waiting. She was, indeed, feeling itchy all over, but she didn’t really need telling twice not to be touching. She wouldn’t want any of that on her hands. In fact, she was quite glad that she wasn’t in charge of cleaning herself up. While she was sure it would be embarrassing, especially with Miss Julia being a relative stranger, she was more than happy for the assistance, and she was pretty sure that it was actually not going to be as bad as if Mama had been administering the change. Jackie let out a little shiver as she waited. She was cold, and dirty, and couldn’t wait to get into the warm bath that Miss Julia had prepared. She looked at herself in the mirror above the sink, and took in the sad sight of her overwhelmed diaper. It had previously been mostly white, with some little pink butterflies spotting the front and back panels. Now, while the butterflies still held their color, the majority of the diaper was more brown than anything else, and even the sides showed evidence of the intensity of her distress the previous night. Jackie had never seen a diaper look half as defeated. She twisted slightly, looking over her shoulder to see her back in the mirror. Though she’d known that it was covered in waste, she still was disgusted to see that she had a noticeable brownish-black film that came several inches above the waistband of the diaper. All in all, she was a pitiful sight, shivering while sucking her pacifier and standing waiting for someone to help her out of her predicament. She decided to focus her attention back on the tub. Jackie didn’t have to wait long, as Miss Julia did indeed return after just a few moments. “Ok, baby,” she said, seemingly trying to be chipper about the task at hand, “let’s get you a little more comfortable, huh? Stay standing there for me first, alright?” Jackie would do whatever was asked of her, even if this was a little different than she might have expected. Miss Julia reached down for a wipe once again, and got to work addressing the smears that Jackie had just seen on her back. “Alright, good enough there, I guess,” she muttered to no one in particular after she’d spent a few moments. “Can you spread your legs for me now?” Jackie shuffled her feet a little further apart, and looked on as Miss Julia grabbed another handful of wipes and bent to get closer to the area she was cleaning. Though Jackie couldn’t see, she could imagine that this area was also showing signs of her diaper’s failure. As the first wipe cut through the waste that had apparently been caked on her inner left thigh, Jackie couldn’t help but inhale sharply and recoil slightly at the burn of her developing rash. “I know, baby,” Miss Julia said, applying a firm yet comforting hand to Jackie’s shoulder. “This will help, I promise.” The wiping persisted, but Jackie knew she was right, and tried to stay still. After a few wipes had been used and then deposited into the plastic shopping bag that Miss Julia was using to collect the soiled trash, Miss Julia stood upright once more and took a step back to evaluate her progress. “Ok, and now to get you out of this diaper! Won’t that feel better?” Jackie thought she might be instructed to get down on the changing mat she was standing on, but Miss Julia went right back to the task without mandating any change of position. Soon the tapes on her left hip had been released, and Jackie felt significant weight falling away from her crotch, followed by a dripping sound. She looked down, but Miss Julia’s body prevented her from seeing what was occurring below her waist. Just a moment later, the tapes on the other side were also freed, and she heard the diaper fall with a splat to the mat below her. It didn’t stay there long, as Miss Julia grabbed a few wipes to protect her hands and rolled it up. Jackie could now see that this was adding to the mess on the mat beneath her, but this didn’t seem like a major concern for Miss Julia, who worked quickly to get the offending garment into the bag that now contained more than a dozen dirty wipes. Once she finished, she shifted her priorities to Jackie’s recently-exposed diaper area. “Alright, this might be weird, but I want you to bend down and put your hands on the side of the tub,” Miss Julia instructed. Jackie did as she was told, feeling extremely vulnerable as she did so. Still, there wasn’t much difference between this and laying on her back with her legs in the air and a dirty bottom presented for wiping, so she didn’t feel any real need to complain, especially given her desperate need to get freshened up. Over the course of the next several minutes, Miss Julia continued to use handful after handful of wipes to slowly work her way through the wreckage that had stuck to Jackie’s bottom. Jackie did her best to hold still, despite the fact that most of the strokes found sensitive patches of skin underneath, and after briefly standing back up straight so that Miss Julia could sort out the front of her crotch, she could finally sense that this part of the ordeal was nearly over. “OK, good enough,” Miss Julia muttered. “Now, how about a nice bath?” she asked, addressing Jackie directly and clearly trying to radiate as much cheer as possible. Jackie gave a mild nod. She wasn’t really sure if she was expected to answer, but, truth be told, a bath sounded wonderful right now. She still felt pretty gross, and she was increasingly chilly as she stood totally nude in the bathroom. With gentle guidance from Miss Julia, Jackie stepped over the tub wall and gingerly lowered herself to a seated position. The water immediately felt nice on her tender skin, but the contact with the floor of the tub reminded her that there would be no achieving full comfort for at least the next day or two. Still, as she leaned back and rested her head against the wall, she could feel some tension starting to drain away. “Alright,” said Miss Julia, quickly breaking the silence. “I’ve got to clean up out here first before I get to you. Can you sit still for me for a few minutes while I do that?” Jackie nodded from behind her pacifier, wanting nothing more than a few minutes more or less to herself. While Miss Julia’s tone wasn’t fully back to her mothering coos and exaggerated enthusiasm, the needless question told Jackie that the babying would be resuming in full shortly. She briefly watched on as Miss Julia brought the plastic bag she was using for trash closer to the mat and used diaper that were still sitting in their soiled state in the middle of the floor, but she decided that she didn’t really need to experience the humiliation of watching someone else cleaning up after her disastrous blowout. Instead, Jackie closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink a little further into the tub so that her ears were submerged under the water, making it harder for her to hear any sounds coming from Miss Julia’s rather unpleasant chore. It might have been the most relaxing thing that she’d done in a long time, she realized, and she tried to relish the feeling. Even having just had a horrifying incident in front of a relative stranger, she felt less fear of humiliation than she would have if Mama had been here instead. She wasn’t quite sure how, but Miss Julia, Lauren, Katie, and even Kevin had put her at relative ease throughout her stay. All too soon, though, a gentle hand on her shoulder interrupted her relaxation. Jackie opened her eyes as Miss Julia gently helped her into a more upright position. “OK then, baby, let’s get you feeling nice and fresh,” Miss Julia said, still seeming just a little too sympathetic to go with her most patronizing tone. Jackie more or less just let the bath happen to her. Miss Julia was very gentle as she helped clean her hair, a process that could be somewhat time consuming when bathing an adult, and then even more ginger as she began washing the rest of Jackie’s skin. Finally, as she reached Jackie’s midsection, she broke the silence once more. “Oh dear, you’ve got a pretty nasty rash unfortunately.” There was hardly any baby-talk to her voice now, only a vague twinge of regret. “I wish you’d have let us know. I could have helped.” Jackie just stared at her, wide-eyed. What did she mean? The look seemed to register with Miss Julia, and she, in turn, made a face of surprise. “Is that not something you could do at home?” she asked, with shock and maybe even a little anger in her tone. Jackie didn’t really answer, but she could tell the answer wasn’t needed. Still, Miss Julia seemed to take a second to compose herself. “I just assumed you were being polite and didn’t want to wake us because you are a guest,” she explained, still seemingly grasping for words. “Well…” she eventually continued, “I know you are not here often, but if you ever find yourself in that situation again while you are here, you should feel free to just make some noise over the baby monitor. You shouldn’t have to spend the night all dirty and then wake up and have to deal with a rash. I am so, so sorry you had this happen to you.” She planted a little kiss on Jackie’s forehead, and Jackie could tell that it wasn’t meant to be patronizing in the slightest. She wasn’t sure when someone else had last shown such genuine concern for her well-being, but it truly felt like the first time. She had no idea how to respond, but fortunately, she didn’t have to, as Miss Julia had apparently realized there wasn’t really anywhere that the conversation could go, and had resumed her careful attention to cleaning Jackie up. Soon enough, Miss Julia was finished and was helping Jackie up and out of the tub. Jackie was dried off, with Miss Julia being careful to dab her diaper area dry as gently as possible, and then Miss Julia helped her ease down onto a new changing mat that had replaced the one that had been so horribly soiled beforehand. Jackie compliantly raised her legs once she had been situated on her back – she knew that her incontinence made even a return trip to the nursery a slight risk, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was create a further mess for Miss Julia to clean up – and she soon felt another thick diaper slide beneath her. Miss Julia applied some rash cream to her sore backside, gently whispering a small “shh shh shh, I know. This will help,” as Jackie winced in a mix of discomfort and relief. In just a matter of moments, Jackie was powdered and padded to Miss Julia’s satisfaction. She produced another of Jackie’s onesies, and in just a few moments only the leak guards of the diaper (and its obvious bulge) were visible under the pastel yellow garment. “OK, sweetie,” Miss Julia said, once again talking as she would to an infant. “We’re going to give the other baby girls a nice bath time too. I just need to go wake them up. Can you come over and sit right here for me?” As she’d spoken, Miss Julia had closed the lid on the toilet and she was now pointing to it. Jackie obviously didn’t mind, and began to crawl the couple of feet to it. Miss Julia moved around her, quickly turned on the bath water to refill the now-drained tub, and then left the room to go rouse her sleeping charges. Jackie climbed up to a seated position on the toilet, and as she did she realized that it was the first time that she’d been on a toilet in years. There was no chance she’d be using it for its intended purpose, but she had to chuckle. Even when she was being treated like a baby, this house seemed to serve up lots of things she never got to do at home. Her reflections came to a quick end as Miss Julia walked back into the bathroom, this time leading a short procession of crawling adults. “Straight onto that changing mat please, Baby Katie,” she instructed, stepping aside so that she wasn’t in the way. “Good girl,” she continued as Katie did as she was told. Lauren followed them in, and as Miss Julia was kneeling in front Katie, she crawled past and came over to Jackie. To Jackie’s surprise, she knelt up and gave Jackie a very enthusiastic hug. Jackie gave a somewhat weaker squeeze in return, and she heard a vague “aww” in the background from Miss Julia. Both Katie and Lauren were nude except for their diapers, and Miss Julia was quite quick in removing Katie’s. She gathered the girl’s ankles and raised her legs high in the air, quickly wiping her wet bottom and hairless crotch. Perhaps because of the more thorough cleaning to come, this was just a quick pass, and in just a moment the used wipe had been sealed up into a rolled up diaper and Miss Julia was helping Katie into the tub. “Alright, sit still a minute, Baby Katie,” she said. “And no splashing or else!” she said, in a tone that was both playful and a little serious at the same time. “Let’s go, Baby Lauren – you’re up!” Lauren needed no second invitation, and soon she was laying on the floor next to Katie’s discarded diaper. Miss Julia repeated the same process she’d just used for Katie, and in just a few minutes Lauren was being eased into the tub as well. Jackie watched with interest as Lauren was sat down by her former sorority sister. The tub wasn’t enormous, and suddenly Jackie wondered how they were going to fit two adults in there. Lauren and Katie were both smaller than her, but she hadn’t felt like there had been room for a companion in there. However, Katie clearly knew the drill. While she had been seated in a pretty traditional position like Jackie had been, as Lauren had made her way in, she swung around so that her back was against the back wall and her legs were bent up against the shorter front wall of the tub. Lauren situated herself next to her in the same position, and the two actually weren’t even touching one another. Jackie was kind of amazed, although she had to say she was glad she wasn’t involved – it looked like a tight squeeze, and being a little larger, so she had no doubt that it would have made her bath time much less comfortable. Miss Julia quickly got to work, using a large cup to get each girl’s hair wet given that the tight quarters made it impossible for them to lower their heads underwater. Somewhat unexpectedly, at least to Jackie, Lauren piped up to start a conversation. “Mummy?” she lisped from behind her pacifier as Miss Julia used her hand to keep water from falling over her face and onto her glasses. “Did you aweady give Baby Jackie a baff?” “I did, yes baby,” Miss Julia answered. Jackie thought that much was likely obvious, as her hair was still wet. She wondered why Lauren was asking, although she remembered from previous encounters that Lauren could really get into a baby mode and start saying stupid things almost just to humiliate herself. “How come you maked her go first, mummy?” Lauren continued. “Well, I couldn’t fit all three of you in here at the same time, could I silly?” Miss Julia responded quickly, slightly dodging the question. Jackie sensed she was lightly covering for her. “Buth Baby Jackie ith a visitoh. We shudda let her sweep in wate.” “Oh, that is thoughtful of you, baby,” Miss Julia cooed, sounding like a proud mommy trying not to hurt a child’s feelings when brought a less-than-great present. “But I think Baby Jackie was ready to get all nice and clean and ready for the day, so I got her up and we did bath time while you and Baby Katie kept sleeping.” Perhaps now Lauren was sensing that her Mommy didn’t want to say more, and she allowed that answer to suffice, much to Jackie’s relief. She’d messed herself in front of these girls before, and seen them mess themselves, but their ability to switch back and forth between the baby world and the adult world, and their relative comfort when they were in that baby mode, all combined to make them feel more mature to Jackie. Somehow, having had such a babyish predicament requiring special assistance would have seemed humiliating. The rest of the bath passed with only quick instructions from Miss Julia to the two bathers, and soon Katie was helped up and Miss Julia began drying her off. Once she was dry enough, Miss Julia eased her onto the changing mat once more, thoroughly powdered her privates, and then taped on a thirsty new diaper. With a quick pat on the freshly diapered bottom, she turned her attention to getting Lauren out of the tub, while Katie flipped herself onto her hands and knees and situated herself closer to the toilet that Jackie was still seated on, shivering a little as she sat naked but for her diaper on the tile floor. In just a few minutes, Lauren was also the owner of a fresh new diaper, and Miss Julia had opened the drain to start the water flowing out of the tub. “OK, babies,” Miss Julia declared in a sing-songy shout, “I need three little girls into that nursery quick, quick, quick!” Lauren led, and Katie quickly followed suit. Jackie dropped off of the toilet to her knees, internally wondering when she’d next find herself on one, and joined the crawling traffic for the short commute back to the baby bedroom. Once they arrived, all three pulled up in the middle of the room, waiting for further instruction. Miss Julia walked past them and over to a closet. “Neither of you have video calls this morning, do you?” she asked, apparently referring to their jobs. Jackie knew from last night that they had jobs, but she hadn’t seen them working since she got here on Wednesday afternoon, and she’d only ever seen them in the context of playdates or haircuts beforehand. “Nawt me,” Katie replied, muffled a bit by her pacifier. “Me evuh,” Lauren chimed in. “Alright then, let’s see…” Miss Julia continued more or less to herself, looking through their extensive wardrobes. “Eh, let’s go simple.” She turned back to the waiting girls on the floor holding a pair of onesies, one a light blue and the other a pastel shade of purple. “Arms up, babies!” she commanded lightly. Katie and Lauren both obeyed, and Miss Julia pulled the blue over Katie’s head and then the purple one over Lauren’s. Miss Julia then bent even lower and fussed with each girl’s crotch until the snaps had been closed. She quickly straightened, and took a step back to admire her handywork. “You three look so cute I could eat you!” she admired. “Baby Katie, can you tell me what color you are wearing?” Jackie had no idea if this was a common question in this house, but Katie reacted like a pleased child who knew she’d be able to pass a pop quiz. “Bwue, Mummy!” she squealed. “Ooh, I haff puhpul Mummy! Juss wike my gwasses!” Lauren chimed in excitedly, her enthusiasm shining even beyond Katie’s. “Yes, just like your glasses,” Miss Julia said, grinning. “You both are very clever little girls! And what about you, Baby Jackie? What color do you have on?” Apparently, Miss Julia’s earlier sympathy wasn’t going to spare Jackie from the humiliation of having to answer such an incredibly simple question. “Wewwow,” she softly lisped. “That’s right, yay!” Miss Julia replied gleefully. “Three girls who are every bit as smart as they are cute!” “Alright, now who wants some breakfast?” she continued conspiratorially. “Me!” Katie and Lauren shouted in unison. “Alright then, let’s head to the kitchen,” Miss Julia said, this time not prompting Jackie to join in, which Jackie didn’t mind, although given that she had more or less deposited her entire guts into her diaper last night, she was quite hungry. The group made their way to the kitchen, and once they got there Miss Julia quickly helped Jackie and Lauren into the two available highchairs, then led Katie over to a space at the table that had been fitted with a childish placemat and a babyish spoon. Once Katie was in the seat, she pushed it as far in as possible, forcing Katie’s torso directly against the table. Satisfied, she then went over to a kitchen drawer, grabbed three bibs, and made the rounds fixing them around each of the girl’s necks. She once again paid special attention to Katie, ensuring that the bib draped over the edge of the table and overlapped with the placemat. “Alright, then, babies! I’m going to heat up the oatmeal! Since we have an extra baby but you two have to work, I’m going to need to trust you to feed yourself so that it doesn’t take too long, ok Baby Katie? I want you to be very careful not to make too much of a mess, ok? No playing with your food.” “OK Mummy,” she replied cheerfully. As she made this declaration, she went into the pantry and retrieved some microwave oatmeal, and soon she had things started. She also began mixing bottles for the girls, and when the food was ready, she quickly put the bottles in the microwave as well to warm. Finally, everything was to her satisfaction, and she deposited a bowl and a bottle on each of Jackie and Lauren’s highchair trays. Moving over to Katie, she once again set down the meal, and then picked up the spoon on the placemat and physically placed it into Katie’s hand as she removed her adult baby daughter’s pacifier with her other hand. “OK,” she said, now guiding Katie’s spoon hand through the process of scooping up some of the mushy breakfast. “You need to hold on tight juuuust like this, got it? And then you open wide, and just put it riiight in your mouth,” she continued as she plunged the spoon into the girl’s mouth. “Can you do that for me, baby?” Katie had to chew a little, and then swallowed before she replied. “Of course, Mummy!” “Well then show me!” Katie did just that, smiling broadly in an exaggerated show of bravado as she pulled the clean spoon from between her sealed lips. “Good girl!” Miss Julia praised. “And don’t forget that bottle! You have plenty of time to finish everything by the time I am done with these two! Katie gave an enthusiastic nod as she chewed. Apparently satisfied, Miss Julia turned and made her way back over to the two highchairs. “OK then, La-la!” using an unfamiliar pet name as she removed the other twin’s pacifier “Time for num nums!” Lauren didn’t make any objections, and Miss Julia proceeded to spoon heaping spoonfuls into her mouth. Jackie could only assume that the overloaded utensil was a deliberate ploy to contribute to a messy face, since it was certainly delivering that result. Miss Julia might have been nicer than some of the other caretakers that Jackie had met, and her charges more apt to play along, but it was clear she wasn’t above using some cheap tricks to guarantee some of the aspects of babyhood that might otherwise be avoidable for an adult. In no more than about 5 minutes, Miss Julia had scraped the bottom of Lauren’s bowl clean. Setting the dish down, she picked up her bottle and brought it to the girl’s mouth. “I need you to hold this for me so I can feed Jackie. Two hands, please!” Lauren gave a slight nod as she complied, and Miss Julia moved away. Unexpectedly, though, she first darted back to the table to check on Katie. “How are we doing with this bottle over here, little missy?” she asked. Katie was indeed drinking, but apparently not quite to Miss Julia’s satisfaction. “Ugh – you barely started, baby! Tilt that head back and get to it! I will not have you be late for work just because you are dilly dallying.” There didn’t seem to be much of a threat, but Katie did seem to pick up her pace, audibly beginning to suck more rapidly. Finally, Miss Julia turned back to Jackie. “Ok, baby Jackie! Sorry about that – you must be so hungry! Who wants some yummy oatmeal? Is it you? I think so! Here we go!” She hadn’t been very inconvenienced, and Miss Julia’s cooing couldn’t help but make her squirm, but she had to admit that it was so over the top that she was almost entertained despite the embarrassment of being the subject of the conversation. As Miss Julia began the feeding, she reminisced about her last meal. She wasn’t sure if she’d trade the taste for another round of last night’s diarrhea, but she sure did miss the flavor. While oatmeal was more palatable than the lunch and dinner baby foods that she was fed, it was still incredibly bland in comparison with last night’s feast. Jackie mindlessly made her way through the feeding. Miss Julia was cooing occasional nonsense, but she’d long ago trained herself to barely hear such things, as during a feeding there was no chance she’d really be expected to speak. She had told herself while watching Lauren that she’d test her theory that Miss Julia was deliberately causing messy faces by seeing if she could actively avoid one, but midway through she realized that she hadn’t been paying any attention and that she already had some oatmeal on her chin and there was likely more on her bib. She still assumed that Miss Julia’s tricks were to blame, but now she also wondered if her absent-mindedness was a contributing factor to her shamefully messy eating. It wasn’t long before Jackie was herself done with her oatmeal, and Miss Julia once again set down the bowl, replacing Jackie’s pacifier rather than moving on to the bottle. “Let me get these two ready and settled for work, then I’ll be right back to feed you your bottle, ok Baby Jackie?” she asked as a form of explanation for stepping away. Jackie could, of course, have held the bottle just like the twins had, but incompetence wasn’t the reason she was treated like a baby, and she knew that it wasn’t worth spending much time thinking it was unfair or trying to advocate for different treatment. Following what the grown-ups said was always the easiest answer. So, she watched as Miss Julia rounded on Katie and then Lauren, wiped their faces, and then removed their bibs. She released the tray of Lauren’s highchair, helped her down, and then, with the girls now standing next to each other, gave them both kisses on the top of their heads. If Jackie hadn’t been so used to the absurdity, seeing that Miss Julia had to slightly get onto her toes to do so would have underlined just how surreal of a sight this was. “Alright, off to work, you two! Try to be ready for lunch at 12:30.” “Yeth mummy!” they said in unison, and then walked off in unison towards the hallway that led to their office. Miss Julia didn’t bother to watch them on their way, instead gathering up their dishes and bottles and bringing them over to the sink. Next, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed not one but two bottles, which she briefly popped into the microwave. Jackie was a little surprised, as there was already a bottle on the tray in front of her. After the microwave beeped, Miss Julia brought the two bottles over to an end table near the couch, then finally, returned to the highchair to retrieve Jackie. “Alright, little girl. Let’s get you down.” Miss Julia grabbed her bottle off of her tray, then released the tray from the rest of the chair, setting it aside on the table before using her free hand to help Jackie slide down from her seat. Jackie dropped straight to her hands and knees, and noticed as she did that a small clump of oatmeal fell from her bib to the floor, reminding her that she also still had some of her breakfast stuck to her face, where it was drying slightly. She frequently had to drink her bottle before being cleaned up, so this was nothing new, but it was still humiliating to be left a complete mess when both she or Julia could easily have cleaned things up for her. “Can you crawl over to the couch for me, baby?” Miss Julia asked, as if the destination wasn’t obvious. “Good girl!” she continued as Jackie did so, acting as if her compliance was some major achievement. They arrived in just a moment, and Miss Julia quickly sat down near the arm of the couch closest to the table that held the other two bottles. Setting down the original, she put both hands into Jackie’s armpits and helped boost her up onto the couch, deftly guiding her so that she was soon flipped over with her head cradled in Miss Julia’s arms with support from the arm of the couch and her diapered bottom and legs were sprawled out on the remainder of the couch. There was a brief pause as Miss Julia fiddled with her bib to ensure that it was covering most of Jackie’s chest, though there wasn’t much chance it would be needed now that she’d moved onto the bottles. Finally, she removed Jackie’s pacifier and replaced it with the nipple of a bottle, which Jackie reflexively suckled. “Baby might be a little dehydrated after her yucky tummy last night, so we’re going to have you drink a little extra milkies,” Miss Julia said as the first drops of formula reached Jackie’s tongue. Jackie hadn’t thought of that, but she supposed it might be true. Normally she’d close her eyes during a bottle feeding, or focus on her feet since she was supposed to be playing with them at home, but something about the tone of Miss Julia’s voice (or maybe even just the plausibly thoughtful premise) made her look up. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but she was surprised to see the expression on Miss Julia’s face. The only way that she could describe the look was pity. And sure, she probably looked pretty pitiful – she was an adult wearing a diaper, a onesie, and a bib, with food covering her face, sucking a bottle in another adult’s lap. Sometimes Mama would make a point to remind her how pitiful she looked in situations like this, but she was doing that to humiliate her. This was different. It was genuine. Jackie was surprised by her reaction. Miss Julia seemed to still be thinking about their bath time conversation earlier, and to care about it. Like she’d seen Jackie’s anguish and had an emotional response to it. That hadn’t happened to her in years, and it was touching her. She didn’t meet too many people in her second babyhood, but normally they fell into two categories: other humiliated adult babies doing whatever they needed to do to cope with their own misery, and adults who saw it as their whole purpose to add to that misery. She deserved to have someone care about her feelings, but it had been so long that having someone do so was shocking to her. She kept sucking the bottle, which wasn’t hard since she was basically always sucking on something, but her mind was suddenly racing. Miss Julia, for her part, was occasionally whispering little things like “such a good girl,” but mostly she was just holding the eye contact that Jackie was making. Jackie was starting to realize that part of her emotions were that she had completely given up on people being nice to her. Miss Julia wasn’t really in too much of a position to help her, but just the fact that she seemed to care at all was making her feel so much more at ease. She still needed to live as a baby here, but she didn’t need to humiliate herself so actively. She could just kind of live, and know that some people would look out for her a little. Tenderly, Miss Julia switched her over to the second bottle, stroking her head gently as she returned her hand to the cradling after putting down the first bottle. Jackie decided that she liked it here. She wouldn’t want to be here if she could pick anywhere in the world, but that was because she wouldn’t be in diapers or anything like it. But, given her lot, this was a lot better than being home with Mama. At the start of the trip, she’d wished it would be over. Being alone with these strangers had seemed incredibly awkward, and she would rather get back to the known territory of her own nursery. Like she did at home, she’d been rooting for time to pass as quickly as possible so that she could just get on to the next day. But, suddenly she found herself wishing the trip would go on for as long as possible. Sure, there was a lot of awkwardness, but these people weren’t out to get her. That was so much better than home. Jackie felt her shoulders relax, and she involuntarily snuggled a little closer to Miss Julia. If she was going to be nice to her, she reasoned, she’d be a fool not to take it. Even as she did, she wondered if letting herself relax would only make it harder to go back home to Mama. But that was a problem for Sunday. For now, and for once, she was going to do her best to enjoy her time away from Mama.

Game Changer Fifteen year old Ryan loved his gaming console. He’d had it for two years now and had all the latest games but they had drawn him in to such an extent that when at home he hardly ever interacted with his family. His four year old brother Noah had more or less been banned from entering his bedroom by his parents as the games Ryan played were not for the eyes of one so young. In truth, they were quite brutal and not suitable for a teenager either. However, Ryan loved to ‘shoot ‘em up’ and ‘blow ‘em to smithereens’ whether they be invading armies, aliens or covert operatives, he loved to take them on and prove his superiority. However, since he was a tot, Noah had, much to their mother’s annoyance, often wondered into his big brother’s bedroom, sat on his knee and watched him do battle; the colourful (if scary) graphics more appealing than the actual violence. One of the main problems with Ryan was just how much he immersed himself in the games to the extent of hardly communicating with anyone except those he was playing online. Once the screen was active, donned the headset and had the controller in hand, he was committed only to displaying his strategies and crushing whoever needed defeating. Meanwhile, the occasional intrusion of his little brother didn’t stop him from gaming supremacy. In recent weeks Ryan’s gaming had got a great deal more aggressive, which had led to later nights and less attention to anything else. His schoolwork was suffering because of this, and despite promises not to play past midnight, some sessions went on until the early hours. His parents didn’t want to be seen to ‘lay down the law’ but realised something had to be done. Rather than simply banning him from the equipment they wanted him to give up on his own accord. That way, they reasoned, he’d feel he was still in control. Alas, this strategy was proving ineffectual and his mother, Sarah, went online herself to see if there were alternative ways of treating her son’s possible addiction. ****** GAME CHANGER Do you know someone who needs help with their PC Games addiction? Someone who spends too much time in front of the screen? Who has cut themselves off from family and friends? Who only lives to play the next level? Then we have the answer. Game Changer is a new, exciting development from Alt/Feed Services that helps restore that ‘addict’ into the person they used to be by the practice of focused soundwaves, visual stimuli and algorithmic applications. Just plug in to any USB socket linked to the player’s device, or PC gaming apparatus and Game Changer will take it from there. ****** In amongst all the mum’s chat and helpful hints this particular advert ‘popped up’ and caught Sarah’s attention. Not because of the big bold lettering but because it appeared to be more forthright. It didn’t pretend that most gamers weren’t addicted to their screens it said it like it was and she appreciated such honesty. As she investigated the finer detail it became clear that by purchasing the advertised ‘magic’ memory stick, she could actually help her son. It claimed that no matter what game the player was involved in, Game Changer would supplant it and via music, images and sound waves help that person become less ‘aggressive’, more relaxed and restore much sought after Circadian rhythms. She liked the possibility he would unconsciously want to spend less time online and pay more attention to those about him and certainly (she hoped more than anything) to improve his rapidly deteriorating school work. Not to mention his lack of sociability or person hygiene. The more she read about this amazing ‘scientific’ breakthrough, the more encouraged she was by its claims, which appeared to be more direct than anything she’d found after scrutinizing wellness and self-improvement sites. Although much was just too ‘technical’ for her, it did appear to be the type of clever and innocuous way of turning her son around. It argued the system operated on certain ‘audio waves and visual stimuli – connecting the mental and visceral world to make a friendly environment, with less stress, for the user’ so she reasoned “What harm could it do to try?” Yes, to Sarah this sounded just the thing she wanted but hoped, once she’d paid the fee online, that it wasn’t a con and all she’d be getting was a memory stick full of whale songs. However, there were some positive endorsements but of course she wasn’t completely clueless and knew that often false claims were made. Nevertheless, for the introductory fee of £49.99 she took a chance and hoped Ryan would see the benefits from that nominal investment. # The blurb continued that once the ‘plug-in’ was achieved the programming would take over and introduce a new ‘game’ for the recipient to play. It would promise an exciting and different type of gaming experience for those ‘brave enough to accept the challenge’. The tech wizards at Game Changer knew that most gamers loved a challenge and even if the console suddenly started offering them something they knew shouldn’t be happening (i.e. a new game appearing on their closed platform) most would want to know where the challenge led. However, once that player pressed the ‘accept’ button the console or computer was no longer under the gamer’s control, Game Changer would do just what its name suggested. The new game ‘Phantom Interloper’ promised a predatory presence to be defeated or incorporated into their own army, plus an extra ‘Cerebral Phantom’ to be deciphered and conquered to complete the game. The excellent graphics and a powerful music score would lead the player into a world they hadn’t experienced before. Also, what they were unaware of was that with each movement of the controller, each visual reference, their voice commands and choices made were all collected and, thanks to Deepcode, used to unfold the program as it progressed. In the game there were ‘moments of reflection’, where the player, to move forward, had to recollect something from their past - to help defeat the ‘Cerebral Phantom’. Nothing that happened onscreen, in the thought process, or bodily movement went unnoticed. Everything was identified, stored and made part of future levels in the game. That Phantom enemy could be confused by personal memories and the further back and deep those memories were the better. It was implied that the menace was evil and those memories, especially happy memories, confused and derailed its scheming advance. Deepcode could emphasise music and messages, change and amplify visuals, whilst the graphics indicated just when a memory had hit its target. Cunningly the player was encouraged to dig deeper for even happier memories to thwart their Phantom foe. Deepcode trawled every action and reaction interpreting and devising new strategies within milliseconds, all to keep the player involved in the game. Paradoxically it appeared that substituting one game for another was to be a solution. It was the cleverness of the program that in those ‘moments of reflection’, which delved the deepest and uncovered instances and actions from childhood, produced the most usable information. Through these ‘moments’ it was easy to manipulate the player to open up and express fears, desires, hurt and happiness, all within the ‘moment’. This was where Deeptone was at its strongest, feeding on this input and moving the game forward. With more ‘moments of reflection’ to get the player relaxed and at ease with not playing the game but simply talking to the screen, expressing their feelings and experiences; thereby confusing the Phantom that only existed on hate and fear. Perhaps surprisingly, heart rates dropped, anxiety levels decreased considerably and the brain began producing chemicals that made each competitor feel good about themselves... thus more inclined to ‘open up’. Although the new game Phantom Interloper Game Changer produced was addictive to begin with it soon identified and produced algorithms and mental stimuli that would take control. Players may have thought they were skilfully navigating the game and defeating the Phantom but were in fact being led, step by step into another way of thinking. That was the unique development Deepcode by means of Phantom Interloper were intended to do. Deepcode was designed to embed itself deep in the psyche and control the player’s future direction. Once that program was in place Phantom Interloper would then no longer need its tech base as it was operating directly in the brain and could manoeuvre thoughts and actions as required. Deepcode was a unique deep mental package and, thanks to the masses of information it gleaned from each player, a course, a distinct and individual course, based on their own interpreted desires, could be mapped out. *** Although a department of Alt/Feed Services which make and develop their own successful gaming lines, Game Changer had been independently created as a side-line and to offset criticism the company received from worried parents. From the very start the designers and tech bods at the company saw this adaption as an aid for concerned parents to wean their offspring away from too much reliance on PC games and the easy addiction they often foster. They had to show they cared so Game Changer became their main project to defer the growing hostility to their huge and profitable presence in the market. It was a concession to the possibility of government interference and general public unease with the seemingly unregulated gaming industry and an entire youth culture dominated by PC games. It was the industries weapon they hoped would satisfy and contain any future discussion on the subject. So, it was rushed into production and instantly made available via selected trial outlets... but it had to work and work well. The In House tests had been hugely successful but this understated online release was basically just the pilot, with Deepcode feeding back information to the company so any tweaks or problems could be ironed out before mass release. *** Meanwhile, by means of the screen and sound waves, those new visuals and audio commands, were already fed direct into the brain. The program selected those moments when the subject was most happy to lead the way and guide them away from a dependency on the thrill of gaming and back to a more innocent time of learning and discovery. By the time Phantom Interloper finished its appointed path, which, depending on the keenness of the player, would have renewed, by way algorithms chosen from facts garnered during those ‘moments of reflection’, a new trajectory was attained for the player. The main algorithm identified and promoted innocence and happiness above anything else, as these virtues helped defeat the Phantom menace and introduced a thought process to a time before the player had an interest in PC games. Pursuit of further games would be exorcised and the concept was that they return, in some form, better able to interact with family and friends simply through averting their PC interests by making them remember earlier happier times. Well, that was the concept. # Friday afternoon and he’d just got in from school but Ryan quickly made his way up to his bedroom to continue his latest passion, Zombie Killers – A Deadfull Night! It was a game that several people could play at once and he had a few school mates and even more folk he didn’t know, all immersed in trying to kill the undead. What he didn’t know was that as soon as he turned his computer on, the hidden memory stick his mother had recently purchased pinged into life. Ryan had quickly changed out of his school clothes and slipped easily into a t-shirt and shorts and settled himself comfortably in front of the screen. With headphones and microphone in place, he identified to those already playing his arrival. Within minutes he was up to his neck in splattered zombies. So immersed in his game he didn’t hear his mother calling him down for tea so she brought it up to him on a tray, which he barely acknowledged with a nod of thanks. She shrugged and hoped that her little unwanted gift would do what it promised so exited his room without comment as he shouted his commands and more blood and guts splashed across the screen. “Die you bastards” was a constant refrain - the fact that his parents had both warned him off this particular game making it even more illicitly enjoyable. Suddenly there was a change of music and the images on screen were replaced by a new pop-up sign. ‘Phantom Interloper - Are you brave enough to accept the challenge?’ Ryan was annoyed that his obliterated zombie count was no longer prominent and the heartening thud as his sword shattered against the skulls of his adversaries had disappeared. Zombies are for wimps... dare you engage in a battle you will ultimately lose? Don’t go running to mummy when you fail... this is only for the elite. Phantom Interloper - The Game Changer. A flashing icon underneath allowed you to accept or deny access. Ryan pressed ‘deny’. ‘Thought as much,’ the graphics taunted rather pettily, ‘too scary for a little kid. Stick to the childish stuff, Phantom Interloper is too advanced for the likes of you’ The option to accept or deny appeared again and again Ryan, eager to get back to his zombies, pressed ‘deny’. Then, instead of just visual taunts he could hear laughter in his headphones, “What a little scaredy-cat.” The voice mocked more and more each time ramping up the level of derision and childishness. “What... don’t feel big enough?” “You little pussy.” The abuse continued and the ‘access’ sign got larger. “OK, last chance Ryan” The game knew his name. A ten second countdown started as the access button changed from a glowing pink and turned a deeper red with each passing second. “We were told you’d be good enough but I suppose all your friends were wrong” 6, 5, 4... Ryan had been shocked that he’d been called by name and wondered how this could be possible but that countdown was quickly passing and he only had two seconds to press... ‘ACCEPT’ on the final second Ryan pressed the unknown, and, unknown to him, Phantom Interloper took control of his computer. From that moment on his every move; the camera captured everything, every word; the mic, like the camera, was live all the time. Even the movement of his fingers on the controller were recorded and evaluated as Deepcode wrote and rewrote the program specifically as Ryan played. At the same time a link was established between Ryan’s console and head office where a stack of servers and techies would eventually get round to deciphering all the trawled info Deepcode produced. It was expected that algorithms would take care of most monotonous work, whilst techies would tweak any underlying snags... when they could get round to it. Meanwhile, Phantom Interloper the game began. The haunting signature tune led into the most glorious graphic universe and Ryan was sucked into a world he would never have thought possible. # Ryan could not believe what was on screen. The images hypnotised, whilst the music and its many layers of sound transported him through a colourful kingdom taking him to incredible highs and unbelievable saddening lows in just a matter of moments. It was a journey like he’d never experienced as he searched for that ‘Cerebral Phantom’. A pile of info filled the screen and he received new directions on how his controller could be used to gain credit and baffle the ‘Phantom’. In minutes he felt exhausted but desperate to attain the next level. The game let him advance; the sooner he reached Level 5 his mind would be so much easier to influence but... now here came that strange part of the program. Instructions by Phantom Interloper whispered in his ear led him to believe that the Phantom could read his thoughts and so, to defeat him this is what he had to do. He needed to pause and think about something completely different from the game. It was also inferred by ‘the voice’ that the Phantom grew stronger the more evil the thought. So to defeat him and win the game it was best to think ‘happy’ thoughts, like the times when the player was younger and more innocent... the Phantom couldn’t cope with innocence. The ‘moment of reflection’ was that opportunity to play the Phantom at its own game and by doing so corrupt its program and thereby finding a way to win the game. # Ryan had been on his computer since he arrived home from school. The meal his mother had brought up on the tray remained untouched and now, five hours later, and five hours of brilliant graphics and unbelievable sounds, thanks to the ‘moment’, he could take a break. At that moment Noah ventured into Ryan’s bedroom to say night-night. Dressed in his Spider-Man pyjama top and his Spider-Man pull-ups he came and sat on his brother’s knee to see what he was up to. Noah snuggled into his brother who would normally have simply told him to leave but on this occasion he felt relaxed (the deltas waves doing their job) and was pleased to greet his younger sibling. The soft padding of the pull-up felt gloriously comforting and as he snuggled in closer Ryan’s mind slipped to when he himself used to wear similar comfy pull-ups to bed. He’d been late getting a potty routine at night and even until he was six year old, still wore pull-ups or nappies at night... it seemed his little brother was having similar trouble. Strangely, he found himself talking about these memories to his brother and telling him how wonderful it was to have no worries because the possibilities of a wet bed were taken care of. On more than one occasion, when he’d been deep into a game and needed the toilet, wished he still had the opportunity to wear a nappy as it would have helped him stay in the battle. However, thinking about how the Phantom used evil thoughts to win, he decided that these thoughts, his thoughts, might just be the right way to go. By speaking about how wonderful being an innocent child was might give him a better chance to defeat his foe the screen colours and sounds changed and he felt more optimistic. It was a tactic he wasn’t to know would forge a template for his own future thoughts and ideas. The soundwaves varied and washed into his ears, through his brain and into his senses. Yes, these relaxing thoughts he knew were working because he could already feel the benefits of such thinking. Subconsciously he felt that the Phantom hated such thoughts so was happy to defeat it with ‘happy thoughts’. Hugging his little brother closer he spoke of the times he also wore pyjamas and nappies but Noah was puzzled at such an admission, this was so unlike Ryan. But having his older brother hugging, patting his padding and being positive and encouraging was something he rarely experienced. He gratefully cuddled his big brother back pleased he wasn’t calling him a big baby or something similar like he usually did. Although he didn’t know about Deepcode or what it could do, neither did the designers of Phantom Interloper. Deepcode and Phantom Interloper had been coded by two different departments, each with its own modus operandi. Unfortunately for Ryan, when those two codes amalgamated the newly formed algorithm took him on an unforeseen journey. Of course, this might have been, no, should have been predicted but wasn’t... the program had gone rogue. ### tbc ###

I was just doing chores around the house and, Oops, I filled my diaper. I finished up my chores and now I'm sitting here enjoying my nice, squishy diaper.

I first heard that one from a banjo player. Coincidence? (I think not!)

I'm also a bit surprised reading how readily and quickly some can saturate their diapers. I feel that I drink A LOT... yet a Betterdry DAY will still last me upwards of 8 hours! Same with an Abriform L4 or Bambino Bianco (all roughly in the 3500ml capacity crowd). So when I use the mega thirsty products (5000ml and up), I'm going 12+ hours and yet still not getting complete saturation! I mostly wear at night, so 1 per day, though there are a few days when I will wear continuously. So my monthly tally wouldn't be all that bad. And I'm so far overstocked that I won't have to worry about it for a while. Going on using 1 per night, I've got over 2.5 years worth on hand right now!

So I find that the people who are most successful in untraining see the inconveniences and hassles of being diaper dependent as fun challenges that validate their progress. For instance, going to a large crowded amusement park in the summer. There is nothing fun about being sweaty, and clammy down there, chaffed thighs, and having to carry a diaper bag with you the entire day. But it’s what real incontinent people deal with, and I’m really incontinent, so it’s all good. And for what it’s worth I like the challenge and feeling of accomplishment from overcoming such challenges, even if they were self inflicted. The stories we tell ourselves! @oznlI’m imaging a scenario where you and I are hanging out and you told me you’re not incontinent as long as there’s a bathroom nearby. If we ever have the good fortune for this occur, my response would be, “That’s nice, please wear a diaper.” Reminds me of the quote, “I’m a great driver, and if everyone would get out of my way, I could prove it.”

you might be cool…. But are you “in a diaper while wearing a Pampers T-shirt cool”

I'd do the cloth thing 100% for night if it wasn't for a nappy-hostile spouse. I think at work during the day, I'd have to stick with disposables. There's no odour control in cloth and the bulk is noticeable. I use cloth for around 3 nights per week and maybe one day (when my beloved is working and I'm not). The disposable regime is expensive and getting more so. I've found that it's cheapest to use 2 diapers per day of a very high quality. Because I'm "wet only" (usually), I can get away with that. On current costs, that's risen from AUD5 (USD3) per day to AUD7 (USD4) and I'm not sure the rises are done with yet. Currently (buffered by cloth use), it's costing me about USD100 per month but if I wore strictly disposables, it would be closer to USD140 per month. It's NOT cheap unfortunately.

Why? Promise me you aren’t suicidal. Everyone is lovable

We'll just drive the backroads

"I'd love for my state to re-illegalize fireworks, and set up tollbooths at our major interstates that could search cars coming from other states." If a conservative doesn't like something, he doesn't do it. If a liberal doesn't like something, he wants it to be removed from the face of the earth.

They feel good and that's enough of a reason for me.

Part 19 – Learning how to clean Mr. Riley was standing at the door waiting for us and welcome us in. Sitting there on the kitchen table was one of the best-looking cakes that I had ever seen. Na Na walks over to me and give a great hug, saying that it was nice that we came over. The same time as she hugs me, her finger was slip under my plastic panties. Next thing that I heard was, that’s what I thought, baby you are soak and you leaking on your shorts. The next thing that I know is that I am being taken over to the change table and having my shorts taking off. (All what I was thinking at the time, is great now I am going to be change with Mr. Riley in the room.) After Na Na help me up on to the change table. She started to take off my plastic pants off and stop about halfway down my legs, she looks at me and ask who folder this diaper, it’s no wonder you leak. I told her that Greg tries to but didn’t do a very good job at it. Na Na unpins my diaper and starts wiping my bottom, she turns around to Greg and ask him to come over to the table. Na Na was not in a very good mood right about now. When Greg starts walking over to us. Na Na turns around and picks up a pacifier, she holds it up and ask me if I wanted it, I just open my mouth so that she could put the pacifier in. Na NA then turns to Greg; I am going to show you how to take care of Kristen! I know you think that you are doing a good job on cleaning her bottom when she needs a new diaper. But there has been a couple of times that I have seen some left-over baby power on her bottom that you did not clean up. I am going to show you how to make sure that you know everything about changing a wet or poopie diaper. (There she goes again thinking that I am going to poop again in my diaper) The last thing that we want is for Kristen come down with a diaper rash. All what Greg could say was ok. So, Greg we are going to clean Kristen like she has a poopie diaper. (Here she goes again with her thinking that I am going to put a load in my diaper again.) The first thing that you want to do is make sure that you have a least a couple of clean washcloths. After you take out the diaper pins, use the front of the diaper to clean as much poop off the front that you can. Then grab her ankles and push them back to her boobs, as you can now see you have a clear view of her bottom. The next step is to lay the front of the diaper over the poop, so that you have somewhat of a clean area to put the washcloths after you use them. Now what happens next is very important. When you are cleaning her bottom up, no matter if it is just a wet diaper or a poopie one. Always clean from the front to the back, never from the back to the front. If you clean from the back to the front, there is a good chance that Kristen could get a urinary tract infection and we don’t want to take that chance. As Na Na was showing Greg how to wipe my bottom the right way, I look over at Mr. Riley just knowing that he was enjoying the free show of my naked bottom. I saw Mr. Riley just setting there reading a newspaper, He did look over one time and just smiled at me and went back to reading. The smile that he gives me, was like he sees a 22-year-old getting her diaper change all the time. As Na Na was still holding my ankles in the air and talking to Greg about how to clean up my bottom. All what I could do was to lay there and try to understand why I was enjoying this so much. After Na Na got done wiping my bottom, the next thing that she started talking about was how important it was to put a new diaper under me. As she was grabbing a new diaper from under the table. She was explaining to Greg that with position I am in, If I started to pee, he could use the front of the diaper to cover the pee flow. (What the heck does she mean if I start peeing when I am getting my diaper change. I would never do that.) As you can see with her legs up in the air, her pee hole is pointing right at you if you are standing between her legs changing her. Greg just be thankful that you are not changing someone with a willy, you never know where the pee ends up. Next thing that I heard is Na Na asking Greg to show her how much and where he spreads the diaper rash lotion. I was looking at Kristen face to see how she was doing, When I heard Mrs. Riley start to speak to me. She wanted me to show her how much diaper rash lotion I use and where I put it. I grab what I thought was a lot of lotion and spread it on her bottom and around her vagina. Mrs. Riley give me a look and said, I need to do a better job getting enough lotion on my fingers and spreading it in the right areas. Mrs. Riley then wipes off the lotion that I put on Kristen and then starts over. Mrs. Riley then dips three of her fingers into the jar of lotion and bought out what I thought was enough lotion to use on Kristen for three diaper changes. She tells me that I need to make sure that I get a good amount of lotion between the cheeks of her bottom and to always leave a little extra around where she poops. (Great now they are looking at my asshole and I thought there was nothing left to turn my face red again) She next moves up to my sweet spot area. Greg when you are putting lotion on Kristen front you need to make sure that you get all of it. That means you need to make sure that you get all of her vagina area. (it’s called my sweet spot) If you do not, she could get a rash there and that would not be fun for her. Also, as you are applying the lotion on her, you need to take the time and rub it in good so that it gets into all of the areas. (Oh god she can stop rubbing me there) When you are done with the lotion, next you want to make sure that you cover her whole diaper area with baby power. You need to rub the baby power too. (Ok she can stop the rubbing anytime now.) Once you get that job done you can move on to diapering her. Now Greg the reason why Kristen diaper leak is because you did a piss poor job of folding the diaper. I will show you had to fold a diaper for a girl, the right way. So, I am now watching how Mrs. Riley is folding the diaper. After she got done, it was my turn to try and fold a diaper the way Mrs. Riley like it. It took me six times to make her happy. She asks me to remove the diaper that she put under Kristen and use the one that I just folded. I did as told and started to pull the front her diaper up between her legs. Mrs. Riley ask me to me to stop before I was able to. She then said that there was a couple of things that I need to do to make sure that Kristen wouldn’t get a diaper rash. She said that I should make sure she is always clean shaven and that also means the fine hair on her bum. (Wait a minute, shave my ass, no way is that going to happen). Greg if you would feel her bum, you can feel the fine hair on it. When it is smooth, the cleanup will go faster. Greg lifted my legs up in the air and starts to rub bottom. Then he looks at Na Na and tells her that I see what you mean, I can feel the hair on her bottom. I will take care of that soon. (As he is play with my butt, I am thinking that not going to happen!) Na Na then went on and told Greg that every few days, I should have a break on wearing diapers for an hour or two. (Great now it looks like I am going to be running around naked) She told Greg that my bottom needs to air out every once and awhile. There will be less chance of her getting a diaper rash. If you are somewhere that you can’t have her without a diaper on, at least leave her plastic pants off for a while. Next thing that I know is Na Na is pinning the diaper on and putting on my plastic pants. Na Na then tells me that Greg will be doing a better job of taking care of me from now on. She then picks up the shorts that I had on and as she was looking at them decide that it was too wet to put them back on me. She just looks at me and says that it is ok for me to just be in a diaper and a T shirt. As Na Na helps me off the changing table and pats my bottom, she looks over at Mr. Riley and ask him if he is ready for some cake. He just smiles and says, I have been waiting for the past 20 minutes for that great cake of yours.

The dialectic of cleaning the house in a soiled diaper is a perfect polarity to enjoy.

Chapter 9: SaveNow BETH LOOKED INTO the Little ‘Nest’ and felt queasy just being inside the building. Granted, it wasn’t even the same dorm room she’d been in, but even as much taller as she was now, she knew that she could easily be forced to come to join Connor in one of these other dorm rooms. Amanda, her dad, her mom, and Laura had decided to come up as a group to ‘spring’ Connor, as they were calling it. Amanda, in particular, was highly annoyed that she couldn’t get custody to keep Connor safely at her house, or at least at her sister Megan’s. The ‘nest’ was everything Beth had heard about. The ‘beds’ above the desks were nothing but dressed-up cribs. She could even see that the ends had doors that would swing closed once each Little was put to bed for the night. She guessed that the side of the cribs could lower to let the Nest Mother gather her charge in her arms without worrying about them escaping… The most chilling thing about them was that she was sure they were long enough for her to stretch out in them! The changing table and Potty Charts gave her the creeps, especially as she saw Connor’s name on one. His Nest Mother, Mackenzie, was sitting on the floor in front of Connor and the other exchange student, who were in their short chairs. She took another quick glance around and had to remind herself she was in a college dormitory, not a daycare! Mackenzie looked up after Amanda called out and said, “Oh, Professor Westerfield, I didn’t realize it had already been an hour? But I guess it has!” “Yes, it has. Now, I’ve cleared it with Dean Northrup and Doctor Greene. So we’re going to keep Connor until seven o’clock?” “That’s fine, Professor.” “Also, I got it approved that Connor will come to visit us overnight, Friday night to Sunday afternoon this weekend.” “I’m not sure about that. How is Connor going to get to know his nestmates?” Amanda laughed at her, “I’m sure he’ll manage Sunday when he comes back.” Connor, are you ready to go?” “Let me grab my bag Grandma,” he told her. Beth watched as Connor grabbed the bag and looked inside it for something. As he rummaged through it, she spotted some extra diapers in the bag, which surprised her. As Connor started walking towards them, she watched the nest mother’s eyes widen. “By the way, I’m Mackenzie Brown; I’m just now realizing I hadn’t introduced myself formally to all of you.” “Nice to meet you, Mackenzie,” her dad said. “I’m Beth’s dad, Cameron,” he put an arm around her protectively. ‘Always an awkward gesture when he’s shorter than me!’ Beth giggled in her head. “This is my wife, Addison. This is my other daughter Laura.” “Are you?” Mackenzie said. She caught Laura rolling her eyes and stopped herself from doing the same. “Am I?” “Are you the Supreme Court Justice?” Her dad laughed heartily, “I guess you could say so. But I really do define myself on my daughters here. They’re amazing and way more of an accomplishment than my career.” Mackenzie looked lost for words, and Connor reached for his bag then. “Shall we go?” Beth suggested. “Nice meeting you!” Laura said, coming out of the room with a giggle. Outside the building, they had more of a chance for everyone to introduce themselves to Connor before they started down the path to where they could catch their ride. Beth was walking with Connor sandwiched between her and Amanda. They were about to pass the Student Union when she had a thought, “Connor, you just have that lanyard ID right now, right?” He looked at her and nodded, “They mentioned another type being available?” “Sort of… you are supposed to have an ‘adult’ with you to get it.” Connor nodded, “I’m not surprised. Does Grandma count?” Amanda laughed, “I think I do, though some days I think your grandfather would dispute that! Let’s do that before we leave campus.” She was glad she’d suggested it then, as there was almost no one in the bookstore since most students wouldn’t return until the upcoming weekend. Amanda took the lead with the clerk, who seemed surprised to see such an entourage with one Little. “I need to have an adult family member present to verify this?” The girl seemed nervous as she pulled up Connor’s record. “I’m his grandmother and a Professor; I think I count?” “Umm… Do you have any proof? I show a mother, Stacy Slane, and a second mom of Gabriella Ann Dubois-Slane?” “My mom’s maiden name is Westerfield,” he lied to her. Then, he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to the clerk. “This shows my proof?” The clerk said, “Just a minute…?” Ten minutes later, a manager and calls to Dean Northrup by Amanda and another from her Dad to President Barnes apparently allowed Connor to finally receive a fitted student ID band. “I saw you’re an exchange student. Make sure you come to see us to remove this before you go home. There’s no other way to remove it without our equipment.” “Will do,” Connor replied. When they finally reached a waiting Luxuria limo they’d called, Connor looked tired until he climbed in the open door. I LOOKED AROUND the limo...? That was really all I could classify it, and I forced my jaw back into my face. “Whoa!” I said. “This looks expensive?” I found myself awkwardly climbing into a vehicle that felt like a train car at my size. Suddenly a woman showed up in front of me out of nowhere. “Greetings, let me help you get into your seat, little one.” “Wha…?” I tried to say even as I was picked up into the air. An infant car seat, complete with a carrying handle, panned into my vision. I was buckled in before anyone else even had a chance to say anything. “There you go, baby boy,” she cooed. “Luxuria, please note that Connor is not an adopted Little and should be treated as an adult,” Cameron said. “Records do not show Connor in the system?” “Create a new record for Connor Slane, age nineteen, grandson of Doctors Fred and Amanda Westerfield and exchange student at Emerson University,” Grandma told it. “New rider record created. If all riders are on board, where would you like to go?” “Please take us to the Nexus Point Mall?” Addison told it. The vehicle immediately started moving, and I could see from my latched position that everyone else was just sitting on regular seats comfortably. “Do I have to be in this seat?” I asked. “Unfortunately, yes,” Beth said. “You do realize how small you are now, right?” I sighed, “Yes… At least I’m taller than Mom was.” “That bar was pretty low,” Cameron said. “Look, we’ll probably stay with you all for a bit, but then we have to head to the airport after dinner. I wanted to be sure to meet you, though, as I owe your mom a huge debt. If you ever have any problems or need help while you’re here, please don’t hesitate to call me! I’ve emailed you all of my contact information, and your grandmother has it too.” “Thanks. Mom told me I could count on you.” “We all owe your mom at various times, Connor, so please know we’ll do everything we can to help you,” Grandma said. “Now, we’re about five minutes out; what do you need from the stores?” I mentioned needing some casual clothes, since all I had at this point were uniforms and the clothes I arrived in.. After hearing that Mackenzie was up for letting me swim, a swimsuit was high on my priorities. “You’ll need swim diapers too, then,” Grandma said. “Yeah, they definitely won’t let you near that pool without one on,” Addison agreed. “Speaking of diapers…?” I blushed, “The only ‘protection’ they had to meet that guideline to fit me was diapers. Of course, they’re not ‘Little-Proof,’ but I struggled to get even one side free earlier. Do they make anything like a Pull-Up in my size?” Addison shook her head. “No…?” While Beth nodded, “Yes, they do.” “Huh?” Addison said. “We just need to go to a store that sells training pants for Little babies.” “Huh?” Beth shook her head, “Mom, really? I know you’re clueless sometimes, but you know that Littles have to diaper and potty-train their own babies, right?” Her mom blushed, “I guess that would be the case. I never thought about them having different products, though?” “SaveNow stocks them. Is there one nearby? I’m sure Connor would rather not wear diapers he doesn’t need?” “He doesn’t need the Pull-Ups either,” her dad agreed. “Actually, I think for his safety, he really does, Daddy,” Beth told him and gave me a sympathetic look. “As long as he has at least Pull-Up on, there are fewer ways to ‘get you’ at Emerson now. The Littles who still refuse to wear any protection are the ones that disappear. Even if you’re full-time diaper-dependent you can graduate now… As long as you’re wearing them it’s a lot easier to stay out of trouble.” I looked over at her, “Can we stop there first?” “Luxuria, would you please stop at the nearest SaveNow first?” Her dad requested. “Certainly, Your Honor,” Luxuria replied. Then, I felt the vehicle leave the freeway we’d been on, and make a few turns before coming to a stop. “We probably don’t all need to go in, right?” Cameron said. “Right,” Addison said. “Why don’t you leave this up to Amanda and me?” “Why you two?” her daughter Laura asked. “We’re the biggest and most intimidating people here. No one will mess with Connor if we go with him.” “You’ll need me there too,” Beth said. “Why?” “Because I actually know the brands you’re looking for?” “Why do you know so much about that?” Amanda asked curiously. “My best friend’s mom runs a daycare for Little Babies and toddlers… I got a lecture when I went with her to see her mom.” I couldn’t tell what was so wrong with that, but the looks they were giving her were not pleasant. “Is that wise…?” Her mom asked. “Her mom is a Little. It’s safe.” Her dad shook his head, “Go on, you all, so we can get moving!” “Yes, Daddy,” Beth said. Beth reached into the car seat and grabbed at the buckle to release me before picking me up and setting me down on the limo’s floor. “Let’s go,” she told me. This grocery store looked a little more rundown than most stores I’d been in back home. It reminded me of one I’d been to in a big city, in a poorer part of town. As if to confirm that fact, I could see tall pillars meant to prevent carts from leaving the store. “Beth, I’m not sure about this neighborhood,” her mom whispered. “Relax, Mom, it’s fine,” she told her, leading the way. The store doors were so much bigger than me that it felt like I was walking through a commercial sized garage door back home. The automatic doors had swung open with a creak that belied their age. Beth looked around for just a moment before making a beeline for the baby and Little aisle. Something about the way Beth walked made me sense some false bravado, while Grandma and Addison flanked us both on our trek. Soon my nose was filled with the scent of baby powder, and my eyes widened at the baby aisle. One side of the long aisle appeared to be stocked for genuine babies, and the opposite side contained the same items for Littles. I grimaced as we passed some of the locking pacifiers Mom had told me about, but for the most part, the aisle lacked most of the terrifying things I knew existed in the dimension. On our right were soon training pants for babies, and on our left were training pants for Littles. Beth leaned down to me, “I should have asked you before we came in. How much do you weigh?” I blushed, “Sixty-five pounds. I lost two-thirds of my weight.” She nodded and turned to the name brand Pull-Ups for the dimension. I blushed as she looked up and down for a second before settling on a package that said L7T. “I think these would fit you fine, Connor,” she said quietly. Grandma had moved down the aisle and came back with another package, “These would also work.” Beth’s package was clearly made for potty-training Little toddlers. A glance to my right had revealed the smallest product for Amazon and Bigs had begun at one hundred pounds, but this one seemed to be fifty-five pounds and up. In addition, a set of sickeningly cute characters were displayed on the package of what I assumed was a toddler show in the dimension. Grandma’s package was apparently the smallest size in what looked like a product just made for bedwetting. It was plainer with just some moons and stars on a blue background. “Which one is better?” I whispered. “Beth’s would be easier to change,” Grandma said, “These would be more mature out of the two…?” “Your Nest Mother might be more inclined to let you wear them if they have a more… immature… cute print?” Beth said. I looked up at her and blushed. “Let’s go with those then,” I said, pointing towards the real Pull-Ups. “Okay then, let’s grab you enough to get you through the next few weeks,” Grandma said. I watched as she grabbed two boxes with forty-eight in each. “Beth, can you grab one more box there?” “Sure,” she told her. “Anything else?” “Mackenzie should have wipes, right?” Grandma asked. “Yes, but maybe some for Connor’s bag?” I blushed but watched as a package was added to Beth’s arms. I looked over at the swim diapers and said, “Oh… Don’t forget my Nest Mother said I could go swimming with her in the mornings?” “That’s right, you need swim diapers,” Addison filled in. “Down here.” The aisle had stayed clear of anyone else until right when she picked up a couple packages. A Big mother was pushing a cart with her genuine toddler inside. “Aww… looks like someone else is getting ready to learn how to use the potty too!” She commented on everyone’s full arms. I, unfortunately, made eye contact with her then, “Can’t be this baby boy, can it?” She looked at Beth, “Must be this big girl here…?” “Come on,” Beth said before anything else could be made of it. At the check-out, the checker was a Mid just a bit shorter than Beth and made no comment about any of it. Grandma paid without letting me even consider doing so. At the exit, she asked, “Do you want to get changed into one of your new pants?” I blushed but nodded, “Yes…?” “Do you want to use the car or the bathroom there?” I felt my stomach plummet at the thought of having a diaper change in front of my new pseudo-relatives. “Bathroom?” She squeezed my arm, “Beth, can you take the rest of this out to the car? We’ll get Connor into a more appropriate set of underwear here.” “Sure!” I blushed as I watched Beth open the package of Pull-Ups and hand one to Grandma. “Do you need wipes?” “No, we’ll be fine,” Grandma said. She surprised me then by picking me up, holding the Pull-Up in hand, and walking deeper into the store again. I could see the restroom signs for men and women and another that said ‘Family Room.’ Honestly, I expected her to go into the Family Room, so I was surprised when she took me into the women’s. “I…” “This works better, trust me,” Grandma leaned over towards me. I sighed but walked in with her. Inside I was grateful to see a wall of stalls to grant privacy to anyone inside. She led me down the row to an open stall. I felt my face blush as she followed me inside and closed the door behind her. “You’ll have to take your pants and everything off,” she told me. I nodded but felt a blush spread over my entire body right then! I kicked my shoes loose first, then grimaced as I pulled down my pants to expose the diaper. I tried to undo the tapes myself, but her strong, large hands reached down first and ripped them for me, pulling the diaper out from between my legs. I watched for a second while she took the training pants under her arm and, meanwhile, balled up the diaper to dispose of it. “All dry!” she said to me. “Why don’t we have you try the potty while we’re here?” I blushed but didn’t have any chance to say anything as she picked me up and held me precariously on top of a much too-large toilet seat. “Don’t let go,” I said nervously. She laughed, “I promise I won’t. See if you can’t go, though?” I tried to pretend she wasn’t holding me. I tried to pretend she wasn’t in the room… It wasn’t until I was startled by a sink running in the bathroom that I managed to let loose the stream of urine into the bowl. A woman was having a discussion with a young girl, it sounded like, but fortunately, by the time I finished peeing and the door had opened, they’d left! “All done?” Grandma asked me. I nodded, “Yes, Grandma.” I was mortified when she brought some toilet paper over and wiped both sides of me to make sure I was clean. Then, she stood me up on the floor and fluffed out the Pull-Up. “This is so tiny!” she cooed as she did so. I groaned but stepped in the leg holes of the held Pull-Up. It was covered in characters that looked vaguely like a cross between a Disney character and Sesame Street. I was far too embarrassed to ask about their names! I wasted no time pulling my pants back up to conceal them, and slammed my feet into the shoes I had been given in my uniform package. After opening the door, she tossed the diaper just as a teenaged girl just a bit younger than me saw it and gave me a knowing look and smile. I just turned away and followed Grandma to the sink. ‘Just how many humiliating experiences am I going to have today?’ I wondered while washing my hands. Back in the Luxuria vehicle, another followed as Laura picked me up and sat me in the infant carrier seat without anyone asking her to do so! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thank you all for your patience with me while I'm on my vacation here! I'll be back in civilization for real Sunday and will be able to reply more frequently again. I don't have the time right this second to respond to all of your comments from this past week, but thank you all for leaving them! I will reply to this post's comments Sunday when I make it to my stop. Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for comments/Likes! Please continue to leave them so I have them to read when I return! ??

Tonight I have on a Crinklz diaper, dry, clean, and not noticeable under my shorts. My wife doesn't even know. Tomorrow morning, however, will be a different story, and God willing and the creek don't rise I'll update you. Update: Nothing unique for me, my morning Crinklz diaper is wet and now messy. Here with hot coffee, and a wet, warm, messy/squishy diaper, no better way to begin a Friday. I already have a blue NS Lite diaper with a booster out for the rest of the day after I change.

Yes, very easy to do.

I think I've gone from £140 per month to £200 per month thanks to the recent price rises. I need a cheaper habit, like class a drugs ... ?

See you in a few weeks.

i woke up soaked with no diaper on

It's the result of governments printing money and devaluing their currencies.

I have made modified foley catheters and I've made several different designs, one of which was doing something similar to what you've done by cutting it and plugging the hole so the balloon stays inflated. I found this method unreliable as I would experience the balloon deflating and the setup was tricky. I am currently building up the courage to try another design that involves stainless steel parts and silicone tubing. I hope to be trying out this design soon. I've heard rumors similar to this. Maybe they are true, maybe not. I'd certainly be up for surgery if it were possible to do it safely. With the surgeon I spoke to, they warned that if both sphincter muscles were removed, the prostate would eventually need to be removed as well due to the prostate swelling and causing urine blockage; that's not something I'm interested in doing and could put my heath at risk. A long time ago I would have wished that If I could turn the urge off, I would. It's not something that's been easy to accept about myself but when I did, it was the best thing I ever did for me. Embracing who I am has been liberating and puts me at peace, the associated costs of products are inconsequential.

We just used totes, no issues.

Cloth works out a lot cheaper. And it's better for the planet too. They're bulkier than disposables when they're dry, but they stay pretty much the same size when they're wet. Some are more discreet than others. Folded squares are great at night once you know how to use them - they don't leak. On the other hand they're pretty hopeless during the day as they tend to fall down. Pocket nappies with washable inserts work well during the day, as do nappies with velcro fastenings. Side popper pocket nappies are good because they're less bulky than the velcro ones - the velcro flaps add a lot to the bulk. It's bulk at the front you don't want when you're out and about in the vanilla world. Baggy trousers or shorts, or best of all dungarees - they hide just about any bulk. I've been full-time in cloth for a couple of years now. I just wear disposables on holiday or long walks, so I don't get through enough of them for the cost to matter. So, if you've got a washing machine and a dryer you can use discreetly, try them out. When you've worked out what works for you, get enough to fill a washing machine every couple of days. End of sales talk...

I don't remember my first dirty diaper as an adult, but I do remember my first dirty diaper post potty training phase.?? I remember I was 8 years old and I was staying at my grandparents house with my family for some reason, and I had to wear an Diapee. I don't remember why but I think it was because my family didn't want to have to transfer me to the potty if I had to go poopie. Anyway, I was on the floor crawling around wearing nothing but a diaper, just sitting on my butt when I had to take a huge poopie. So I just did and it felt so good, I even remember what kind of diaper I was wearing. I was one of those white medical diapers with the yellow line on it because I was fat at that age so those were the ones that fit me. Anyway, it was nice and comfortable and the poo-poo felt really nice to sit it.??☺️??? But unfortunately, it stunk to the high heavens!???? And I wasn't a ABDL at the time, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I would now. But I just remember it feeling so GOOD, I think I EVEN got a Diapee change on the floor in front of everyone!???? I was a VERY happy BABY!?????♥️????????♥️????

A prime candidate for the Hall is Playtex. This is the page I got when I googled up playtex plastic baby pantie. It has the history of playtex. Ironically, I could not find any adult Playtex plastic panties https://www.google.com/search?q=when+did+playtex+start+making+plastic+baby+pants&sxsrf=ALiCzsaycSyLPwyowVn0bqL76Zx3kHSCNA%3A1657061765341&source=hp&ei=hcHEYq_uEY-w5NoPz_e8qAk&iflsig=AJiK0e8AAAAAYsTPlWZTty2FC1N4BGZYNEyR8vosH38w&ved=0ahUKEwjvxJCP7OL4AhUPGFkFHc87D5UQ4dUDCA4&oq=when+did+playtex+start+making+plastic+baby+pants&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAwyBQghEKABMgUIIRCrAjIFCCEQqwIyBQghEKsCOgcIIxDqAhAnOgQIIxAnOgsIABCABBCxAxCDAToLCC4QgAQQsQMQgwE6EQguEIAEELEDEIMBEMcBEKMCOggIABCxAxCDAToICC4QsQMQgwE6DgguEIAEELEDEIMBENQCOgUIABCABDoOCC4QsQMQgwEQxwEQowI6CAgAEIAEELEDOggIABCABBDJAzoFCAAQkgM6CwguEIAEEMcBEK8BOgYIABAeEBY6BQgAEIYDOggIABAeEA8QFjoICAAQHhAWEAo6CAghEB4QFhAdOgcIIRAKEKABUKEbWNOPAWC1zQJoAXAAeACAAWaIAaoekgEENDYuMpgBAKABAbABCg&sclient=gws-wiz It might be a good idea to despisit links to things that you want in the Hall here. Maybe the old DIPAER MUSEUM could be found on the Wayback Machine at Internet Archive

I totally agree with you. I would love to be kept like an adult baby and kept in diapers permanently. Being kept in diapers and never let out of them and being treated like an adult baby.

Hmm, Briana seems to have some issues with staying Big. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.... ----- Chapter 4 On the second week of classes, Briana skipped along the gravel path on campus, trying to keep the rocks she was kicking inside the path. She should probably be getting a start on her homework, but it was hard to think about anything but going home and playing Little with her new friend. Evenings had been so fun lately, even when she was sitting in Little clothes hanging out in Melody's room. Occasionally she'd worry that she was doing it too much, especially since Veronica had already pulled her out of Melody's room on a couple of evenings to sit her down for homework. On the other hand, with Mom watching out for her, what did she have to worry about? Obviously this was something that was fun and new, and things would be back to normal by midterms. In the meantime, oh my gosh! Melody said that she could play on the Switch tonight if she was a good girl, and so she'd been super good all last night! It was no big deal to help Melody clean her room a bit. This afternoon she could surprise Melody by doing her laundry for her, the basket in her room was super full. Melody was always great about telling her what a good girl she was, but tonight would be supercharged! "Watch out where you're kicking those," said someone right in Briana's path. She looked up in surprise and ran right into Gary's arms. He was as muscly and cute as ever, with his brown hair cut back super short now. "Gary!" Briana said excitedly, "How's the new quarter been? I like your new haircut!" "Thanks," Gary said, grinning. He didn't seem to mind keeping his arms around Briana, and she didn't mind either. "You're really fired up today." "I'm really excited about our new roommate," Briana said. "I heard you had someone moving in. Glad to hear she's working out," Gary said. He tugged lightly at the back of Briana's jeans, craning his head over to peek. "You going back to wearing pullups at school?" "Not always, I just really wanted to today," Briana said, with a playful butt wiggle. "Hmm, you in the mood to play?" Gary asked. "We're at school but I have some supplies on me." "I have a study group I hafta go to in like an hour, but until then it'd be fun," Briana said, slipping into her little voice more than effortlessly, unconsciously. Gary chuckled and said, "Yeah, looks like you need it. Come on, little one." He took Briana's hand and led her across the school lawn to the looming faux-gothic administration building. "Where are we going?" Briana asked. "I have an office now!" Gary said proudly. "It's more of a closet than anything else but it has a door that closes." "Ooh, fancy," Briana said. Gary had not been kidding about the size of the office. Briana had to squeeze past Gary behind the desk so he could close the door. Space was so tight that Gary had been forced to choose between having an unblocked window and having a bookshelf. The bookshelf had won out, though the shelf at window height was clear to let some light in. It was a little worrisome from a fire-code standpoint, but that kind of big-girl worry was hard to focus on at the moment. Double so when Gary took Briana's backpack off her without asking and set it aside. "Bend over the desk kiddo." Gary said, rummaging in his backpack. "I don't wanna," Briana said, pouting. "Come on now, be a good girl," Gary said. "I am a good girl, I don't need a spanking!" Briana said. "I wasn't going to give you one, but if you don't hurry up and do what you're told I don't have a problem giving you one," Gary said. Pouting her very strongest pout, Briana bent over the desk. Unfortunately Gary was immune. With a resigned sigh, Briana held on to the desk, still not convinced she wasn't going to get a spanking. She felt Gary unbutton her jeans and work them down her legs. He even popped her shoes off and took the jeans off completely. Had he locked the door? Strong, warm hands stroking back up her legs felt good, until they were patting all over her pullup. "Nice and dry, good girl!" Gary said. Briana blushed and squirmed, it'd been a while since she'd been inspected like this. It only got worse when Gary took her pullup off and spread her cheeks. Squirmy feelings were rapidly becoming butterflies in her stomach. "Gary, what are you doing?" she asked quietly. "I'm checking to make sure you're cleaning yourself properly when you're being a big girl," Gary said. Apparently he wasn't completely satisfied because Briana felt him wipe her tight ring with a baby wipe. That sent her into a huge round of blushies and heat between her legs. "Hmmm, I think you might need to come by for regular checks," Gary said. Something cold touched her rear, Briana gasped when she felt Gary work a finger inside her along with a generous glob of lube. "Nuh uh, I'm fine being a big girl at school," Briana protested, trying to keep from moaning. "You know you don't get to decide that kind of stuff, that's why you have so many people looking out for you," Gary said. Briana gasped as the smooth metal of a butt plug pressed against her ring and gently slid in. It was a nice small one, but was still a presence she couldn't easily ignore. "When do I hafta come to your office?" Briana asked. "You get done with classes around now, right?" Gary asked. "Come by after classes and I'll make sure you're doing well." The thought of regular little time at school was thrilling and scary at the same time. Again, she pushed the scary off onto her caretakers. If there was a problem they would let her know. In the meantime it would make school a lot more fun. "Okay Gary, I will," Briana said. After taking a moment to wipe his hands, Gary lifted Briana effortlessly into the crook of his left arm. She grinned and squealed as he rained kisses on her cheeks, lips, and forehead. Briana reveled in the feeling of being hoisted by Gary one-armed. It was something only he and Casey were buff enough to do and it gave the best little feelings ever. Gary draped a changing blanket on his desk and set Briana down on it. With a happy sigh, she held on to her feet and relaxed into the change. It'd been way too long since Gary had changed her! She'd missed the tender touches that turned her on as he applied lotion. He always put on the right amount of powder, and taped the diaper up nice and snug. Only Mom could do a better job changing her. After the change she sat in Gary's lap, squirming around to hear her diaper crinkle. "Do we hafta be quiet in here?" Briana asked, big enough to worry about things like that. "Not really," Gary said. "I mean, don't scream or anything, but the office is right between two store-rooms and we're in a back corner of the building. If you get too loud I can always put a pacifier in your mouth." Briana grinned and nodded, snuggling up to Gary. He was so strong, and warm, and safe-feeling, she wished she could blow off her stupid study group. "Tell me about your new roommate," Gary said. "Her name is Melody, and she's really cool!" Briana gushed. "She has all kinds of cool toys, and dolls and stuff. Oh, and she has super cool costumes that she lets me wear! We've played dress-up like, five times already." "Wow, that's fun," Gary said with a grin. "Is she Little like you, or a big girl?" "She's a big girl, but she did wear a pullup once when I asked her to," Briana said. "Oh, and she knows about all kinds of cool websites for little girls, some of them doing some really sexy stuff." "I bet you liked that," Gary said, gently tickling Briana until she squirmed in his lap. "Why'd you ask her to wear a pullup?" "Because on the websites there were girls in diapers cuddling and stuff and it looked really fun," Briana said. "She hasn't worn one again but maybe someday we can just sit and cuddle together." "I like that idea, I'll even babysit for you two if you need me to," Gary said. "Really?" Briana asked. At Gary's answering nod, she gave him a big kiss on the lips. That kiss lingered, and turned into a hot and sweaty session of Gary stroking her body and making out. She kinda wished she needed to pee, so that Gary could change her again. "I think regular checks are a good idea for sure," Gary said with a grin. "I can stock the office a little better for playing too, as long as it is something that fits in a drawer or isn't really obvious. What kind of stuff do you want when you come by?" "Snacks?" Briana asked hopefully. "You hungry?" Gary asked. Briana nodded. All he was able to round up was a protein bar (yucky), some dried fruit (yummy!) and a soda which was nice to wash down the fruit with. "I'll get some better snacks in, maybe even some formula. I've got a kettle so I can mix it with hot water." Briana giggled and said, "But only Mom gives me that stuff." "Well I don't my baby girl going hungry, what if you forget lunch?" Gary asked. "It's such a baby thing," Briana said. What if she couldn't snap out of being little after having a bottle? The worry slipped away when Gary stroked her cheek and brought his thumb to her mouth. Closing her eyes, Briana sucked on the thumb gently. "I like you when you're a baby. It should be okay if you're done with classes, and Veronica has you taking morning ones," Gary said. He clearly wasn't in a mood to hear a no, and that honestly made Briana feel safer. "Oh, I almost forgot, I have a present for you," Gary said. "Ah pweahsaht foah meh?" Briana said around Gary's thumb. A belly laugh from Gary rocked Briana up and down, she giggled and hung on through the Garyquake. "Yes, a present for you," Gary said, hefting Briana up and setting her down on his desk. "Close your eyes hon." Briana closed her eyes and kicked her legs gently, until she accidentally booted Gary in the side with her toe. That earned her a bap on the foot. She giggled and let her feet hang idle. After some sounds of rummaging and the chair shifting around, Briana felt a couple of flat objects placed in her hands. Cruelly, Gary made her wait while he got back in his chair. Thirty intolerable seconds of Briana vibrating passed before Gary finally said, "Okay, open your eyes." Briana opened them and gasped. On top was a huge set of colored pencils with four or more shades for every color. Under that was a coloring book of faeries and flowers that were super detailed. Every page would be easily a couple of hours of coloring fun. "Oh my gosh Gary, thank youuuuu!" Briana bounced on the desk, her diaper crinkling like crazy. "You're welcome hon," Gary said. "I know you get stuck on campus a lot waiting for a ride so this will give you something to do if you come visit me and I'm working." "You really wanna make sure I come over to visit you," Briana said. "Well, I like you a lot," Gary said. "I like you too," Briana said, carefully setting her present to the side. She slid off the desk into Gary's lap and kissed him gently, pulling herself to him as close as she could. Another long, slow kiss left Briana glowing, and a little damp in the crotch. Instead of heating things up, Gary held her close. It was wonderful quiet cuddle. There definitely had not been enough Gary in her life recently. After a while, Gary peeked at his phone and said, "I probably need to let you go to your study group. Do you need help changing back into your pullups?" "Aw, you did such a nice job on the diaper," Briana said. "I'll just wear that." "You sure?" Gary asked. "It's going to be a lot bulkier." "If my jeans fit over they should squoosh it down," Briana said. "Can you help me?" "Of course," Gary said. He set Briana down and helped her into her jeans. Getting them up over the bulk of the diaper was a bit of work, but with some jumps and Gary pulling the managed it. Once they were on, zipped and buttoned, you could hardly tell that there was padding under there. Briana wiggled her butt at Gary and asked, "How do I look?" "Like an adorable secret baby girl," Gary said, hugging Briana from behind. "I'll be setting up my office all day so drop by if you need anything, okay? Otherwise I won't always be here, but I'm probably going to use it a lot while I have it." "Okay Gary!" Briana said. She got up on tiptoes to give him another kiss and collected her backpack. With a wave and a little bounce, she was out the door. On her way out of the admin building, Briana tried to clear her thoughts and get back into big-girl mode. It was tough, extremely tough while wearing a diaper and with her rear plugged. She finally managed it by the time she reached the library. By then she was regretting the diaper. She hadn't worn one in big girl mode in a long time. For the first time in quite a while it felt naughty and embarrassing to be wearing one.

Two Memo to all employees: Award plaques, trophies, and certificates should never be discarded in the trash. If you’re unsure of where to place one, please bring it to Office Management on the 8th floor. Thank you. — “Where the hell have you been?” asked Lyndie upon my return to The Closet. I wish I knew the answer to that. Another reality? One that was stranger than anything Lyndie would be able to believe? “Exploring,” I said. It was the best I could come up with. I was hesitant to say much more. Lyndie was already so bitter about her experience here that I was afraid she’d turn against me too if I mentioned that I was meeting with anyone - let alone the CEO. “Find anything good?” “A vending machine that sells Jolly Ranchers,” I said. This much was true. “Strange,” she said. “These people don’t strike me as the types who enjoy flavor.” I was overthinking every single one of my movements. The thick diaper had this loud crispy crinkle to it that seemed to overpower any other sound in my vicinity. Or...that was just the way I perceived it. I was now walking carefully. Rotating my torso carefully. Sitting down carefully. “You okay?” she asked. “Yeah, of course… Why do you ask?” “You seem weird,” she said. “Weirder than usual.” “Do I...normally seem weird to you? She laughed. “You’re...I dunno. Boyish?” “I am a boy.” “Well sure. But you’re trying to be a man, right? You’ve got this goofy little childlike look about you. It’s those big eyes and the way you look at the world around you. It’s cute. It’s...naive.” Childlike? I decided that she could absolutely not find out about this diaper. “Maybe the world just hasn’t crushed my spirits yet.” “Maybe you haven’t been living yet,” she retorted–a comment that felt as foreboding as it seemed likely. I had been given very few instructions from Ms. Heller, and even the ones that she did give me were vague: “Use them. Come find me when you need to be changed.” It had all happened so quickly that it seemed like a hazy dream now. One moment we were just talking in her office. The next, I was on the ground with my pants off and she was putting a diaper on me. I let her do that? Now, I was wondering if I was forgetting details. Was there more she had said that I was just forgetting? Did she literally expect me to use the diaper? The workday didn’t have much time left in it. 5:00 PM was on the horizon, and it seemed to be the division between those who were willing to drop everything–regardless of what they were doing–and those who were going to stay later until the work was done. I didn’t know which side of that line Ms. Heller fell on, but I didn’t want to assume anything. Nor did I want to let her down. I carefully weighed my options and quickly came to a few decisions. I’d need to wet my diaper. And I’d need to find Ms. Heller. And I’d need to do both of those things by 5:00 PM. It was 4:30. My foot began tapping uncontrollably. I had never worn a diaper before. Not since I was an actual baby, anyways. And now I was going to...use it? Who keeps diapers in their office anyways? “You alright?” Lyndie asked, glancing down at my foot as it jackhammered its way into the ground. “Oh...yeah. Thanks, I’m good.” “You sound like you have ants in your pants.” You have no idea what's in my pants right now. “Just...getting restless, you know? For the end of the day.” She was mostly distracted by her phone, which seemed ideal for me. I didn’t dare walk past her again with my loud diaper, so I was just going to have to settle down and do it there. Right there. With her in the room. There’s no way. There is absolutely no way that I can do this. But...it suddenly felt way easier than it had moments earlier. I don’t know if it was the stress or the presence of the diapers or what–but I could suddenly feel my bladder begging for my attention. Easy. This is easy. All I have to do is...pee. Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing came out of me. I had to pee, so why couldn’t I just pee? I tried again, making the most conscious, strenuous, effort to piss I’ve ever made in my life. A tiny grunt escaped my mouth. “Are you...sure that everything is okay with you?” Lyndie asked. I feigned a cough, as if whatever she heard earlier was just...more of this? She either bought it, or never cared that much in the first place, because she was reading her phone again. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it. It’s just...peeing. You do it all the time. You can do it anytime, anyplace. All you have to do is do it now. In...your pants. With Lyndie in the room. I could feel it. I could just feel my bladder growing more desperate for release, no thanks to my efforts to provoke it. It felt close. Just a little more… A little sigh of relief as I felt the hot spurt of my stream escape into my diaper. The warmth spread, and a wet heaviness enveloped all of the padding between my legs. It was weird. It was gross–or at least I was raised to believe such a feeling would be gross. It was one of the most thrilling things I had ever done. “It’s close enough to 5,” Lyndie said. “I’m outta here.” “Yeah, go for it. Get out of here.” She shot me a quizzical look. “Are you staying? Aren’t you leaving too?” We had walked to the subway station together the last week or two. And...if I was going to stay, I’d need a good excuse as to why I was. “You know what?” I said, shrugging dramatically. “I forgot that I have to print some shit out for school. I gotta take care of that for a few minutes. But I’ll see you tomorrow?” She shrugged–the best form of acceptance she could offer. “Yeah, sure. Have a good night. Use up all the company’s ink.” She was gone, the door was closed and it was just me and my diaper. I leaned back in my chair, plunging a hand down my pants to feel the saturated garment. The firm padding was so different compared to how it felt when dry. I wanted to show her. I wanted to show Ms. Heller and make her proud of me. What? Make her proud of me...peeing myself? It was a complicated set of emotions. I had to focus. There’d be plenty of time to second-guess my strange life decisions later. Right now, I promised the head of my company that I’d use my diaper, and now I needed to show her that I had. I gave Lyndie a few minutes head start before I ventured out of The Closet myself, but even with that buffer, I had never felt so self-conscious. It was as if a giant spotlight was shining on me. Any moment, someone, anyone, would spot me and would immediately be able to see not only what I was wearing under my clothes, but they would also know what I had done in them. Realistically, logically, I knew this was unlikely. Still, this didn’t feel entirely implausible either. This diaper was thicker than any pair of boxers or briefs that any other man in this building wore, for one. I had also added what felt like a gallon of liquid to it. If the weighty sag of the bottom of my diaper wasn’t visible, then my forced waddle as a result of the wetting had to have been. Down the maze-like corridors I went, yet again, dodging worker ants scrambling around to finish their end-of-day projects. Time may have been on my side after all. “Mr. Ashworth,” a deadpan voice said from my side. “Here yet again?” Daniel seemed even less pleased to see me this time than he had earlier. “Ashburn,” I corrected him, again. “I’m here to see…” “Ms. Heller, yes?” I nodded, though I wasn’t appreciating his tone. He clucked his tongue - a cocky little passive aggressive gesture designed not to be challenged. He tapped a button on his phone. “Ms. Heller?” A brief pause. “The intern is back. Shall I take a message or… Right. Of course. One moment.” With a sigh he hung up the phone. I wondered if it was going to be like this every time I came over here. I didn’t bother waiting for him to acknowledge her confirmation, I waved to him and walked to her office. “Come in,” she said as my hand approached the door knob. “Close the door behind you,” she added as I stepped into her office. “I didn’t catch you at a bad time or anything, did I?” “There’s no such thing as a ‘bad time,’ my dear.” Her voice was seductive. She was a cartoon snake coiling around me and staring into my soul with her swirly hypnotic eyes. I loved it. “I...I did what you asked me to.” She smiled, standing from behind her desk, her hungry hands rubbing together. “Is that so? And what, exactly, did you do?” “I...well…” “I can’t smell you from here, so I’m going to assume that you didn’t…” “N-no,” I said, cutting her off. “I could never do that. Has...someone done that?” She offered an innocent shrug and smiled. “A lot of things have happened in this building. I could tell you anything and you’d believe it. Let’s worry about you and what you actually have done in your pants.” “How...do you want to do this?” “You’ll stand right there, where you are.” She maneuvered around her desk and approached me. “I’m going to pull your pants down and have a look for myself.” I nodded. She hastily unbuckled my belt and unzipped my pants. “You’re very obedient. Compliant. Some people would say that’s a fault.” “Do you feel that way?” With a hand on either side of my pants, she tugged them down to my knees, exposing the plump swollen diaper that hung between my legs. She continued to speak as her hand gently cupped the bottom of the diaper, feeling how heavy and sodden it had become: “I am of the mind that there are two types of people–leaders and followers. And, contrary to popular belief, one is not more powerful than the other. Both need each other. Some may argue that there should be no leaders at all, but...inadvertently, there’s always a leader. There has to be. Myself? I’m a leader. You? You’re a follower. You need me. But I need you.” “You need...me?” “These diapers aren’t going to dirty themselves. And I’ve only just begun to play with my new toy.” She slowly slid the backs of her fingers up the front of the diaper. I felt myself stiffening inside of it. “Yes, I need you.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Well, I knew what I wanted to say, but it didn’t seem relevant to anything she had just said: “Thank you.” She laughed. “For what?” “For letting me do this with you?” No, that didn’t sound right. I corrected myself: “For you.” “You’re a good boy. I think we’re going to have fun.” I nodded. “Would you like for me to change your diaper?” I had just assumed that this would be what happens next, and I would have been fine with that. Having agency over that decision was a pleasant surprise–though I realized that it might have just been the illusion of agency. “Yes.” “Should I ask in the future?” Betraying the thought I just had: “No.” “I thought so. Let’s go, then. On the ground. On your back. We’ll get you into a clean and fresh diaper.” “Oh, well...it’s the end of the day for me,” I said. “So I need to go home and…” “I’m going to put you into another diaper. And I’m leaving it up to you what you do with it.” She pulled some supplies from her closet. I couldn’t see what everything was, but I could see the bulky new diaper in her hand. This wouldn’t stop feeling weird for a very long time, I suspected. She knelt on the ground, shifting the hem of her short dress out from under her knees. Leaning forward and between my legs, she unfastened the tapes on both sides of the diapers. She eased back the front of the diaper through my legs, revealing my hardened cock. She swirled a single finger in my moist pubic hair, giggling to herself. “Do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Ashburn? A boyfriend?” “No…” I said. “So, nobody would miss your youthful coat of fur down here if I lopped it all off?” “You...you’d do that?” “I’d like to. How would you feel about that?” It felt...different. She wasn’t suggesting something permanent, though it was something that would...linger. She’d leave her mark on me, and until the hair was back–if it was allowed to come back at all–I’d know it was her doing every time I saw myself in the mirror. It somehow felt like a step beyond just wearing a diaper for her. But, of course, I just nodded my head. “Excellent,” she said. “And what of this?” She grasped my cock in her hand, slowly letting her fingers run up the shaft before sliding them back down. “This seems...cumbersome. It’s probably difficult enough to wear a diaper around the office. But a diaper with this happy little fellow bopping around? Maybe we should do something about that too.” “Like...what?” “I have some ideas. For now, what if I just…” Her grip tightened on my cock and her hand continued gliding up and down on my shaft. There was very little lubrication, and what was there was just the lingering droplets of my own piss. And seeing this attractive and powerful woman between my legs, rubbing my own urine into my cock only made me harder. It only made me want release even more. It only made me want… I came, sloppily, launching a glob of white onto my belly. For an all-to-brief moment, I found myself awash in bliss, only to quickly remember where I was. And who I was with. My cheeks flared. I felt like a twelve year old boy again, making a mess of myself while I tried to discover my body. “Now isn’t that just adorable,” Ms. Heller cooed. “That barely took a minute.” I didn’t actually mind, given the circumstances, but my ego couldn’t just stand idly by without trying to offer an explanation. “Ah...well, you see…” She planted something in my mouth, the soft rubber-like bulb pressed between my lips could only be a...pacifier. “Enough out of you. You just let me clean you up and we’ll get you into a new clean diaper. I do believe we’ll need to do something about this pointy little toy of yours, but I believe I have some answers for that as well.” I should’ve been paying better attention, but between my post-climax haze and the newborn oral fixation with the pacifier, I was a million miles away. I bit at it. Sucked on it. Ran my tongue around it. It was so simple. I could see how such a simple object might soothe a toddler. The more I played with the shape in my mouth, the easier I found it to slip into a natural suckling motion. Things were happening near my bottom. The feeling of a damp cloth running across my butt. Another, swooping up between my legs, and another tightly wrapping itself around my now-flaccid shaft. “Do you live alone?” she asked. “No,” I said through the pacifier. “Roommate.” “Shall I spare you the baby powder?” I nodded. I already knew I was going to be self-conscious about wearing the diaper out of this building and back to my apartment. But to smell like an actual infant? That seemed like more than I could handle. But eventually… The new diaper was slid under me, and she quickly folded it around me, securing it in place with the tapes. I’d hesitate to say that she was an expert–because maybe the process was far more intuitive than I knew. But she certainly had a level of comfort with it that I wouldn’t question. I plucked the pacifier from my mouth. “Do you have children?” “I do not,” she said. “Not for lack of trying. I suppose any psychologist would have a field day if they heard me say that while I put you into a diaper.” She snatched the pacifier from my hand and popped it back into my mouth. “When I put a pacifier in your mouth, however, it stays until I remove it. Is that understood?” I nodded, feeling my cheeks glow again. “I trust you know how to put your own pants on?” I nodded once more. That’s when she pulled the pacifier out from my mouth. “Good. I’l hold on to this. Why don’t you go and get dressed? I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” “Will we do this...every day?” “Do you want to do this every day?” I started to shrug, but I stopped. I nodded instead. She smiled. “Come see me in the morning when you get here.” “Your assistant. Daniel?” She scoffed. “What about him?” “He’s...nosey. I don’t want to say ‘suspicious,’ because I don’t know if I’m right or not, but…” “Say no more. I’ll deal with that. You just be here tomorrow morning. Understood?” “Yes, ma’am.” “I don’t care for ‘ma’am,’” she said. “I asked you to call me Mommy, remember?” “Yes…Mommy.”

With all that messing, Brian, coupled with the heat, make sure you stay hydrated.

I’ve been in Rearz diapers for a long time. I first ordered from them because they are in Canada and shipping is free. They are my go to store for diapers, bottles, pacifiers and onesies because they have great products and great costumer service.

I have been reading these comments on this post for awhile. And I am going to speak my mind who in the hell cares what @Ferix wants to do. It is his body and if he wants to do it then let him. He is paying for it. And as for the consent I am not sure why one would need to speak to a mental health person. The only reason that the doctor sent him to one of those wackjobs is to have them convince him not to do it. If Ferix signs a agreement not to sue the doctors for any wrong doing. Then there is no reason why they can not do it. Of course he would need a lawyer to write it up and both sign it together with a witness. It is a shame that there are people out there who shame others for wanting to do things to them selves it is their body not the doctors or mental health person not anyone in here not mine. Nor anyones it is ferix body and he should be able to do as he wishs.

The potty regret is strong this afternoon. I had a lot of fruit and vegetables over the holiday weekend (including potatoes with the skins left on, which always bulks things up nicely), and unloaded an absolute monster when I got home from work today. Well over an inch in diameter, perfectly smooth, and it just kept coming and coming...perhaps a bit softer than I prefer, but it would have felt amazing dropping into a diaper (or my new training pants, I'm feeling a bit naughty today). Would have been no hiding that lump!

Cheers, thanks for the positive comments ❤️

I was in cloth pin-on diapers every night until I was 12. My brother, 2 years younger, was also in diapers for bedwetting until he was 14. Fortunately we were never shamed for our wetting, and diapers were just the way our wetting was managed so we could sleep comfortably. We weren't made to feel immature or babyish for wetting or wearing diapers. Even so, I remember feeling quite grown up when I started pinning on my own diapers around age 9. Seems kind of ironic looking back on it now, but at the time it was something I was proud of...