DLJeff52

Janus...thanks for the encouragement. I would say that in the very early stages my sleep at night was restless, but it wasn't due to wet/cold feeling. BetterDry seems to be great at wicking moisture, maybe if I was in cloth diapers this would have been more of an issue? I was more concerned about leaking. Also, I would consciously wake up EVERY time I had to pee, so that was problematic as I had read you should drink a lot before bed. Now, though, I don't worry about dinking a ton of water before bed and I seem to have a rhythm of waking up around 5am for my last "wetting" (not sure why but whatever), so my sleep is much better. I'm by no means the expert on nighttime only incontinence as others have made this their sole focus. My only encouragement would be that for either nighttime or daytime, you still have the physiological aspect of "consent" from one of your two sphincter muscles. The ability to "reprogram" this muscle to quickly allow release without a prolonged mental approval process will just take time. Hope that helps!

Little Belle, Thanks so much for your comments and support! Appreciate your encouragement and please let me know about your own adventures! Kif! Thanks for your support! Been encouraging to follow your journey as well. Stay strong! Oznl, Thanks so much for all your support over the last year! I think your assessment is correct. And while I don't judge anyone's journey in this space as they are all so unique and to do so would make me the biggest hypocrite of all, I agree that if you just read the dire warnings you may never even start a journey that ultimately is each individual's decision. That said, I can also appreciate that the "glory" or "fantastical expectations" of losing control can be tempered over time with the reality of diaper changes and other life situations! Here's to us and here's to you!

ONE YEAR! I DID IT! I met my goal! I can't believe it...I'm not really a goal finisher, more like a great goal starter, so to not only finish something I started, but to do something that requires an insane amount of perseverance, money and situations laden with embarrassment is one of my greatest accomplishments in life (both sarcasm and truth mixed together!). My updates used to be easy. Track the number of days you did this or didn't do that. Comment on the physiological changes and describe the diets, patterns, hypnosis and other actions I took along the way. Depending on who you ask, all those metrics are either helpful or irrelevant given the uniqueness for both motives and goals we each pursue in this space. The further along I progressed in my journey, the less the metrics seemed to matter, except one: Did I stay diapered 24/7 and never to "hold" either #1 or #2. I definitely succeeded in the 24/7 category with the exception that every now and then I would not wear a diaper and "Intentionally" wet my pants as a perverse way to enhance my commitment or "need" to wear diapers. There were also likely a handful of times throughout the year where I intentionally went #2 in the toilet because situationally it would have made me late or caused an issue related to work that just didn't need to be created. So I basically am giving myself an A+ for achieving this goal. For those of you that find it somewhat selfish that I am giving myself such a perfect score, take heed that as an Enneagram 2, I've learned that even acknowledging that I have needs, let alone being at peace that I can decide if a need has been met satisfactorily is in itself a huge growth goal! I have been struggling somewhat as to how to structure my ONE YEAR update, but have finally settled on two approaches. First, I'll give you a brief summary of my mental, physical and emotional status after one year of wearing diapers 24/7. Then I'll try and come up with what I think may be FAQs based on messages I get or posts I see hit the forum. Feel free to ask any questions I may have missed along the way! Physical Status My bladder is definitely WEAK. I think I probably have 75-125ml capacity. I definitely have little sensation AFTER I start urinating, it just feels like my diaper is getting warmer and fuller. I HATE feeling any sense of pressure that I have to pee. The instant the slightest bladder pressure signal is sent, I crave release. There is a great sense of calm and relief that comes with ridding my body of that sense of needing to pee. I should say, however, that this sensation is less the norm and more the exception. For the most part during the day, I will just release almost automatically and without much pressure or intentional thought. I say it this way because I have learned that one of my sphincters requires consent to release. I would say this "consent" is increasingly becoming a conditioned response that defaults to "always yes" and I can't remember the last time where I consciously stopped what I was doing to direct my body to release. Instead there is a very short time between a slight twinge of need to pee and peeing. Most often, if I am doing something else at the time, I don't even have an awareness of a decision and my first indication that something happened is that I'm wetting my diaper. As for nighttime, I consistently wet the first time without waking up. I would say the 'norm', however, is that I will wake up around 5am and realize that I need to pee and instantly release before going back to sleep. I think I've only had a couple of nights where I went to bed and didn't wake up until my alarm went off in the morning. I treasure these nights, but they are few and far between. With respect to #2, I know my rectal strength is a fraction of what it used to be. I would say that at least once a week I'm surprised with a release of #2 that happens with no pressure sensation or warning. My first warning is the realization that I'm messing my diaper. For other times that I more regularly go #2, there is zero time between the sensation of need to go and release. There is almost never any "pushing" on my part at this point, but rather a natural expulsion that slowly but steadily releases into my diaper. Plastic backed diapers definitely help reduce odor, as does my diet, but regardless, I will go whenever and wherever I need. I have changed in grocery stores, airports, airplanes, amusement parks, rest areas, even at relatives homes. I change quickly enough where the odor never really becomes a distraction to others and have only had a handful of times where I needed to "sit" in a messy diaper for more than 30 minutes before I could find someplace to change. Flushable wipes are a key to have on hand as well as other plastic bags that you can use to secure messy diapers for disposal. I always have a diaper bag/backpack on hand if I am at someone's home and keep my messy diaper in a double plastic bag in my backpack to dispose of later, but otherwise immediate disposal has proven relatively simple. I used to be really worried about someone seeing me dispose of a diaper in public, but now I could care less. I mean I'm not brazenly flashing my diaper, but people in public are generally too self-obsessed to care about what someone else is throwing away. I expect that if I continue for a second year I will likely loose total control of #2 just based on the trajectory this journey has produced and how many more "surprise accidents" have occurred with #2 relative to #1. Mental / Emotional Status The first mental layer I have around all this is that I need diapers. I need them in my mind for three reasons. First, I HATE the sensation of having to pee or hold it. It has become a deep mental condition that at the first sign, I will desperately release immediately and without care as to where what or why. The second is that I no longer have a desire to correct this. I have had fleeting thoughts around retraining, but there isn't a desire, at all. Life is too busy, I don't want to work that hard, and quite frankly, I enjoy not having to get out of bed or worry about bathrooms, EVER. Third, my accidents with #2, moreso than my weekend bladder, are a constant reminder that if I am not wearing a diaper I am likely to mess my pants. I really would rather not mess my pants, so a diaper it is. All of those combine to create a mentality that I "Need" diapers. Do I need them in the sense that if I wasn't wearing them I would helplessly pee myself? Likely not, but am I more likely than not to wet myself if I had to hold it for any measurable amount of time? Possibly to probably. I don't find myself tracking days or nights that I'm wet at all in the last three months, but rather have become accustomed to wearing diapers and just making it a part of my routine. I will say I absolutely LOVE the comfort and warmth of a diaper. On the rare occasions that I was changing or going through a "wet my pants" exercise, the moment I was able to put on a new diaper, I could feel my blood pressure drop and the comfort and feel of the diaper against me is noticeably pleasing. I will only add here, that my personal journey is laden with other desires that have only become more prevalent as I have gone on this journey. Since my early teen years, I've craved to be a female. Everything from the clothing, the physical body, the mannerisms, appearances and actions of a woman have enthralled me. I have cross-dressed on an off throughout my life, I've come close to pursuing various steps in this feminine direction, but life, fear, and situations have kept me from it. I have no idea if it is the diapers and the clothing that I wear with and for diapers, but my desire to explore femininity has exploded in the past three months. Again, I know this is my own deal and not connected to a diaper update per se, but found it relevant only in the sense that for me there is an interplay here that is emerging as a result of my steadfast pursuit of diapers. Perhaps others that have a melange of mysterious desires will see their own pursuit of diaper dependency product a similar, parallel growth in desire. Miscellaneous It is funny how this section to me is almost an afterthought, where in my earliest posts, I saw it as the most significant to provide an update on! 1. I still prefer Abena's and BetterDry diapers and I still prefer LLMedico for cost and service reasons. I also will use a less absorbent Tena diaper for day use because I can purchase these diapers at about $.55/diaper versus $1.05 for the Abena and $1.67 for the overnight BetterDry. 2. I wear onesies every day and don't have any male underwear at this point. The REARZ onesies are great for day use and are still the best value on the market. 3. I use Babykins Terry lined plastic wraps over my nighttime diapers and have not had a need for a mattress cover since I started using them. They are bulky but GREAT at keeping any leaks from the diaper off my bed. I also find them very durable (4-8mos life) and cost effective. 4. I am committing to a second year of 24/7. @Enthusi has been a great inspiration to me in this regard. I'd love to get a simple yearly summary from him about his 5 year progression to just see how the 5 year plan looks relative to my first year! I believe that I am at greater peace wearing diapers and see no reason to change course and am not sure how successful I'd be if I tried because mentally I really do not want to. FAQs 1. Do you use creams to keep your skin healthy? I used to use Calmoseptine multiple times a day. Now, however, I have chosen to have laser treatments to remove hair from my legs and groin. This has dramatically reduced the skin irritation. I shower frequently and use the cream as needed as opposed to multiple times every day. I have had NO skin problems thus far. 2. What is your diet? I am trying to lose weight and facilitate loss of control. I eat a lot of yogurts with flaxseed or oatmeal with flaxseed for breakfast or lunch. I have a lot of Almonds and drink a lot of Cranberry juice. I also make olive oil a regular part of my diet. All of this has been mostly for #2 and I have noticed a difference as my stools are much softer which allows for a natural release. It has also dampened the odor, but not removed it by any stretch. 3. What about your doctor? Have you pursued testing of any kind? I did visit my doctor and honestly shared that I was having episodic challenges controlling my bladder during both day and night. I allowed the testing to occur as the doctor suggested, never challenging or recommending anything. His own conclusion was that I likely suffered from some type of nerve issue that could be allergy or medicine related. He concluded that I had a functional incontinence with exact source yet to be determined and suggested I return in 6 months for a reassessment. 4. Aren't diapers obvious and loud? No, onesies dramatically help to keep noise down and diapers where they belong. I have only had to move up one size on my waist for pants and find that compression pants over diapers can be helpful I short-term situations (longer-term could produce chaffing). The cloth backed diapers are by far quiter, but both can be worn in ways that do not make it obvious at all that you are wearing a diaper in public. 5. What has been your most embarrassing situation? I pooped my diaper unexpectedly while warming up to play golf. It was very bad and I needed to change quickly to avoid odor. I didn't really succeed as I had to go through the locker room to get to the bathroom. I can't tell you how many wipes I had to use as a shower was not possible at that point. 6. What suggestion would you make for long-term diaper goals? You should budget about $5 a day on diapers. That translates to almost $2000 a year. If you can't or don't want to commit to that basic cost, then it probably isn't right for you. You should expect that no one else will "get it" and you need to only do it because you want to do it for yourself. You should expect to have days where it will be a nuisance, but just like any other goal, those moments test your resolve not your motive. This community is essential for encouragement and feedback. I couldn't do it on my own and posting my journey has helped me continue on!

Pura, I know we've already established that in some way we are kindred spirits. I think I've checked the same family activity boxes that you have listed in some form or fashion as well as navigated life as a business professional in diapers. I could have written what you did, so I won't go for verbosity here, but will just reiterate that someday we need to share a beer! #HardCore

Melissa Meltdown Readers, My apologies for taking so long to have an update or to reach out to you all. The fall has just proven to be an extraordinarily busy season for me. I have every intention to continue th story and expect the later half of November to allow for more time to dedicate to this. I tend to be a writer with creative bursts, so it is more likely I will have tranches completed and then periods of pause. I apologize for the staggering or inconsistency associated with this approach, but I do want each of you to know how greatly I appreciate the comments that are left and how exciting it is to continue to explore Missy's journey! Have a great weekend and thank you so much!

PVD, Thanks so much for the response!! It does help, somewhat vainly, to hear from people after posting updates so I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! Yes, we are definitely kindred spirits, except that I am INCREDIBLY jealous of your wife's support. I'd love to make these same purchases and wish I could express myself more in this way, but alas, not currently in the cards, so I'll live vicariously through you! I suspect someday we will meet and share a fine beverage recounting our travails! I'm encouraged to complete the year and excited for what lies ahead! Stay strong (or weak as the case may be) in your own pursuits!

10.5 Months I can't believe I'm only 1.5 months away from a full year of 24/7. I must say, I'm quite proud of myself for that accomplishment, as I traditionally have been "victim" to binge/purge or impulsive cycles and finally had the wherewithal (and support of this type of a community) to discipline myself enough to get this far. Overall Summary I am mentally in a place where I feel diaper dependent. When not in a diaper, I wet my pants (yes somewhat voluntarily, but I don't like to hold it at all...hate the discomfort of urge and prefer to just wet or mess). I am physically experiencing a profound pelvic floor muscle deterioration especially as it relates to bowels. The warning or urge preceding #2 has declined dramatically in intensity and the amount of time between urge and release is very short. Yesterday, I was in the car, felt the urge and it started happening. Being in a seated position delayed the release, but the moment I started to stand up to get out of the car, it was an instant, automatic release. Granted my tummy was upset for some reason which made it all easier, but there was no way I was holding it. I have handled incredible messing events on planes, cars, restaurants, running, etc and now have a confidence that no matter when it happens I can handle it. Messy, yes, but manageable quite certainly. I am now a big fan of dude wipes as they are one of the flushable brands. I also have a couple plastic bags with me so that I can either store the dirty diaper in my diaper bag until I can dispose of it or so that I can put the dirty diaper in the bag into a public garbage can without leaving an annoying odor for others. I am pursuing a diet in line with the 12-month program that seems to be helping in the process. Everyday I have: yogurt with flax seed, oatmeal for lunch, an apple, almonds, and something with olive oil. I will say yogurt has in fact reduced the potency of the odor over time. Similarly, my time between urge awareness and urinary release is now approaching zero. Even as I was just typing this, I began peeing, but the urge was so feint, I didn't even recollect it until I noticed I was peeing. None of it was front of my mind. At some level, I assume my brain is still giving permission for this to happen, but it is more like a cameo appearance in a movie and nowhere near the central plot of my thinking. I can't remember the last time I "flooded" my diaper, it is the familiar frequent uriniation of little amounts with a lot of post dripping that occurs. Occasionally, and mostly while sitting, I'll have a "spontaneous" leak that I can't understand because it just happened without stress incontinence or urges being present before I feel the leak occur. This usually happens more in the morning and when I'm hydrated. Nighttime wetting continues in its erratic pattern. When hydrated fully or properly, my first wetting or two will occur without me even stirring. Usually the last wetting or two is where I will regain some form of consciousness immediately before or as I begin to pee. If I am not hydrated, then I will usually wake to pee around 5am or so and I am more aware when this happens. I think the key is to stay hydrated throughout the late afternoon and evening ours so that there is more of a rhythm of peeing as you sleep. I don't subscribe to the drink tons of water right before bed practice. I will also say that I have had a dramatic increase in the number of dreams in which I am diapered, have a wet diaper, am messing my diaper or otherwise wetting myself. My Diapers and Outfits Tykable Snappies are BY FAR the best onesies I have found in the market. The fifth snap and material used are exceptional and last a very long time with little to no shrinkage when washing. They are also by far the most expensive for plain onesies, but in my opinion worth it. The RearZ onesies continue to hold up well, but over time do shrink a little from wash. They are a great value and I tend to wear these when I'm just around the house and need the diaper support. I have given up on boxers or compression pants for everyday where as the onesies are so much more reliable and easier in my opinion. Babykins double Terry-clothed plastic pants are lifesavers. I can't remember every leaking as I use these over my nighttime diapers. Easy to wash, easy to dry, long-lasting...all of which mean I don't need a pad on top of my sheets. I still have one under the sheets over the mattress for a "just-in-case", but have gained total confidence that I will not leak which has made it easier to pee at night in any position I sleep. Daytime Diapers I have found the Tena Proskin Supers to be a great value for daytime wear when you know you will be needing to change within a couple hours. They are almost half the cost per diaper of the Abena Agri-Form M4s that I also use during the day. I use the Tena's for example in the morning when I wake up. I know I will likely go #2 within two hours of waking up, so I use the Tena in anticipation of that before a shower. I will also use the Tena if I'm making a change from an M4 and know I need to leave to go somewhere in a shorter amount of time. The Tena's have proven reliable for exercise and in combination with compression pants, do not cause chaffing when I run. I often choose to run with no diaper and just pee during exercise which is not as big a deal as I thought it would be. I do wet my pants to reinforce the behavior I am striving for, but it is never a big deal as I just pause and stretch to allow the urine to fall straight to the ground through my shorts instead of down my legs. The M4 does give longer lasting coverage so I use that during the day when I'm working at the computer for 4-6 hours and know that I will only need to change at the end of that time. Nighttime Diapers The BetterDry still wins in my book. I've tried just about all of them and for the wicking and cost per diaper, BetterDry continues to stand out above the rest. In combination with the Babykins covers, I have zero worries of leaking. I will also use the BetterDry if I know I'm on a flight or going out in public to sit somewhere (theater / restaurant) for extended time. I do this because (a) it allows longer coverage and (b) if I have a #2, the plastic backing gives longer odor protection as I work to go and change. Where I buy diapers My veteran status, auto ship and store credit per purchase make LLMedico the best place for me to buy both the M4 and the BetterDry diapers. Carewell seems to have a better deal on the Tena line and I buy my Proskins there where they also have military and auto ship discounts that make these diapers incredibly affordable. Next steps My goal was to be diapered for 12 months. I have 1.5 months left on that goal. I'm now announcing a new goal. I am going to extend another 12 months with the expectation that I will be (a) #2 incontinent and (b) be conditioned to pee freely and instantly without conscious awareness. I state this specifically with respect to urinary as I don't think I see myself ever really being incontinent in the medical aspect of the word, but I do think I am seeing my mind retrain to ignore and allow the body to pee freely when the signal is sent that it is a need. My goal is to not be mentally conscious of the event if that makes sense. Why? Good question. I like this life, but can't fully explain why. I like the comfort of padding and diapers now...I can sense a serotonin release if you will when I put on a clean diaper. I like sleeping through the night without getting up, I like the community, I like the feel, I even increasingly like the "little" aspect involved. I'm sure it still serves as an escape if you will, but I like that too and think it is actually a healthier form of escape than I may have chosen to pursue in the past. Appreciate all your encouragement and love your feedback or comments!

I am now just shy of 11 months 24/7. 3 Months in, I came to realize or believe that relaxing bowel control would help accelerate the muscular deterioration in my pelvic floor. Since then I've only done everything in my diapers. Yes, the mess can be inconvenient and occasionally troubling (had a diarrhea incident on the golf course that wasn't pretty), but every instance has ultimately been manageable. Like a lot of things, if you have the right tools, projects are easier. Flushable wipes, powder, plastic backed diapers are now just essentials that come with me WHEREVER I go. Couldn't be happier...waiting until the 12 month mark to perform some sort of "test" on just how much degradation my control has had on both fronts.

Love the topic and thank you both for sharing! Here's my experience. I'm a couple of days away from the 10 month mark of 24/7 diaper wearing. I probably converted my goal from diaper dependence to intentionally untraining my bladder at the two month mark. At about the three month mark I added the idea of not holding in any #2 as I thought it would expedite my loss of urinary control through weakening pelvic floor etc. At the time, I didn't think about if that would also lead to bowel incontinence. My experience at month 10 is that the bowel incontinence is actually progressing faster than the urinary incontinence. As @DiapergirlWB shared, just two days ago, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when my diaper started filling with loose bm. No warning, no ability to stop it. While that was the first true "accident" I have had where there was absolutely no warning that anything was happening, I have noticed that my ability to stop an ongoing bm has deteriorated to almost none. Most of the time, I still have some warning that a movement is about to occur. If I really hurried to the bathroom, I could make it, but for now, I just use my diaper. Once the movement begins, there is little pushing if any and little ability to stop the movement. While at first it sounded scary, at this point I don't mind. I can change quickly and for as annoying as it can be at times when out in public or with people, flushable / disposable wipes, lotions and powder all make it not a big deal. I do bring plastic bags for disposing of diapers in public as a courtesy to those who use the restroom and clean it when in public. So as far as your hypothesis goes, my experience to date would support it. The only anomaly to my experience was that I actively chose not to clench my sphincter muscles for either #1 or #2 as a way to increase the rate of pelvic floor deterioration, do my bowel deterioration is probably proceeding faster than someone who is actively trying not to lose that control as they work on urinary incontinence.

Chapter 19: Pre-Game The first couple minutes of the car ride were held in silence, Tammy and Missy each replaying surprising aspects of their visit with Mary and Sarah. Tammy was practically beaming with excitement. She had threaded the needle of communicating expectations to Mary and trying to soften the oddity of the research program for Missy’s family while building a trust and rapport with Missy that continued to warm her heart. As for Missy, she gazed out the window, her heart beating with adrenaline at the somewhat surprising exchange that she had endured with her sister. While she had never really connected with her sister, she had also never really expected such venomous threats to come from her own family over, of all things, money. Breaking from her reverie to see Missy staring out the window, Tammy decided to continue the push forward, knowing that everything hung in the balance of tomorrow’s assessment. “Missy dear, you were unbelievably fabulous. I’m so proud of you. The way you were able to express yourself and move into this decision on your own free will truly amazed me.” Reaching her one arm over to Missy’s thigh as her encouraging words filled the space between them, Tammy noticed both a smile and tears welling in Missy’s eyes as she turned to acknowledge the accolades. “What’s wrong honey, why the tears?” Tammy’s face immediately took on a look of concern that Missy had already grown addicted to receiving, having been starved of such empathy most of her life. “Nothing…I…I don’t even really know why I’m crying, but everything suddenly just feels so emotional.” Missy leaned her head back against the car seat and took her hands up to her eyes, rolling her wrists to try and wipe away the tears. Her legs instinctively spread further apart then normal, trying both to accommodate the diaper between her legs and her body’s desire to simply find a comfortable position in which to ride. There was very little concern for how she looked to Tammy or anyone else for that matter. “I can imagine, honey. That must have been much harder than you made it look to share everything with your mom and sister, but honey, that’s over now and you are safe and we can really focus on making tomorrow a success, ok?” Tammy softly moved the conversation forward while also trying to acknowledge Missy’s emotional state. Tammy’s motherly instincts went into overdrive and as they came up to a small ice cream stand on the side of the road, and Tammy pulled off and parked the car in one of the open spaces next to the stand. “You were such a brave girl, Missy, we should get a treat!” Tammy beamed, opening the door and going around to help Missy out of the car. Missy finished rubbing her eyes and finally caught on to the fact that the car had pulled over next to an ice cream stand. She immediately felt joy pour through her body. It was as if the idea of a reward or sweet treat seemed to instantly trump any of the pain or fear she was truly processing at the outright threats her sister had made. She found Tammy’s hand which helped her out of the car. Unbeknownst to either Tammy or Missy, as she exited the car, her skirt had flipped up in the back, exposing Missy’s onesie covered diaper to the cars that were passing by. As they stood in line to order their ice cream, an elderly couple took a spot in line behind them. The grandmotherly figure noticed Missy’s cute but exposed skirt and tapped Tammy’s shoulder before speaking, “Excuse me, miss, but your adorable daughter’s skirt is flipped up in the back.” Tammy moved her hand down the small of Missy’s back to flip the skirt back down. Missy’s arms instinctively raised upward as she felt Tammy’s hand along her bottom and a small gasp came from her mouth as she experienced both the physical touch of Tammy and the realization that she had exposed her diaper clad bottom to the world. “Thank you so much,” Tammy said gently to the elderly woman who almost ignored Missy as if she was a toddler who couldn’t understand grown up talk. “No worries, dear,” the lady continued, “I remember those days of mothering growing toddlers. It can be very challenging.” Tammy decided to take advantage of the opportunity to see how Missy would respond to this public scenario by reaching into her purse and grabbing a binkie. She reached over to Missy’s mouth and gently began pushing the binky in as she continued the conversation with the couple behind her. “It is incredibly challenging,” Tammy continued taking Missy’s hand, “and yet incredibly rewarding to see them develop their own unique personalities! Tell me, what advice would you give a single mom like myself?” At this point, Missy was completely embarrassed, but doing anything rash at this point seemed like it would only create more of a scene that it had already become. While the older man had a slightly quizzical look on his face when he saw Missy’s apparent age and willingness to suckle a binky, the two ladies went on as if nothing seemed out of the ordinary at all. “Well,” the elderly lady beamed with pride at being asked to share her wisdom, “I would say not to rush growing up. I’d let them be young for as long as they can…the world is a tricky place as you know, and there is nothing that will ever replace the warm, nurturing love that a mother can give a baby, so don’t rush anything!” The lady seemed incredibly satisfied with her answer and as she finished all eyes turned to Missy, whose appearance, diaper, onesie and binkie seemed to embody exactly what the older lady had suggested! Once they ordered and received their ice cream, Missy and Tammy went over to a picnic table to enjoy their treats. Tammy removed Missy’s binky and instantly produced a wipe from her purse, cleaning off Missy’s mouth area and then her hands as if Missy was incapable of doing this herself. Missy was part stunned, part numb, and part resigned to the events as they transpired, all leaving her to simply fixate on the one good part of what was transpiring: her hot fudge Sunday with whipped cream and a cherry. Missy swung her legs under the picnic bench as her mind seemed to work at keeping all the feelings and questions pushed under the surface by having her solely focus on the pleasure and excitement of eating such a treat. Missy hurried and in so doing decorated her face more than her mouth, a soft chuckle coming from Tammy as she witnessed this 18-year act younger and younger before her very eyes. Perhaps what was even more inspiring for Tammy was that she had confirmation that Missy was making these decisions on her own. The confidence with which she had seen Missy address both her sister and her mother gave Tammy a peace that Missy wasn’t being coerced into doing something she didn’t want, but rather pursuing something she was increasingly interested in embracing. Another wipe appeared as Tammy tried to keep up with the chocolate carnage all over Missy’s chin and cheeks. This time, however, Missy herself let out a little giggle, realizing that she had, in fact made a complete mess. The giggle happened to coincide with a realization that she was once again peeing her diaper. The conscious awareness that it was happening lasted for just a flash before Missy returned to licking the inside of her ice cream cup, filling her tummy as her bladder filled her pampers. Missy’s mind was now less bothered by the wetting that had just taken place and more worried at following the instruction Tammy had given which was to let her know when she needed to be changed. While slightly torn at having to say the words that were about to come from her lips, Missy’s mind drove the decision before any shame had a chance to alter the course. “Mommy,” Missy half whispered, not wanting to draw attention to herself, “umm…I…um..” “Did you make pee-pees?” Tammy interjected, not wanting Missy to have to embarrass herself further, but also naturally trying to figure out her “daughter’s” need. “Yes. I made pee-pees” Missy replied, her face instantly turning beet red as her legs swung at an even quicker pace, trying to mask the shame she was feeling in having to share this with someone. “Good girl!” Tammy said a little louder than Missy would have hoped. “Let’s go and get you changed. As they rose from the table, the elderly couple had overheard everything, having taken a seat at the neighboring table. As they saw Tammy and Missy head back to their car, the lady realized that there was no restroom nearby and quickly rose to go offer Tammy some assistance. “I hope you don’t think I’m a nosey grandma,” the lady began as she caught up with Tammy on the driver side of their car, “but I couldn’t help but overhear your little one needs a diaper change. Would you like to use our RV? I don’t think there are bathrooms around here and it might be more comfortable for your little one,” the lady finished nodding her head in the direction of Missy who for some reason was standing silently by the car door with her toes pointed in and her head tilted down as if she just wanted all this attention to just go away. “Oh that is very kind of you! Are you sure you don’t mind?” Tammy asked. “Not at all!! As a matter of fact, I’d love it! You see we only have one grandchild and she lives on the other side of the country so we rarely get to see her, so any chance I get to help the little ones makes my day!” The old lady smiled ear to ear as she gently grabbed Tammy’s arm to reinforce that this would really be a treat for everyone. “Well thank you so much! Missy dear, come this way, we’ll get your diaper changed and get you all cleaned up in some privacy ok?” Tammy extended her arm and opened her hand as if inviting Missy to the safety of her hand. Meeting at the front of the car, Missy just kept her eyes on Tammy and let her hand give her relief from the growing embarrassment that was mounting throughout all of Missy’s body. As they reached the RV, they noticed the older man had just pulled out a camping chair and was smoking his pipe, in recognition that they would be here a little longer than planned and knowing that his presence in the RV would be unwelcome for the time being. Missy was glad it was just the ladies that joined her in the RV as she followed Tammy up the two stairs into the small sitting area. The lady kept leading them toward the back of the RV where a bedroom with a queen bed that had been neatly made greeted them. The lady grabbed a towel from her bathroom and laid it over the comforter, tapping the soft bedding to invite “mother” and child to the improvised diaper changing station. Tammy was thrilled with both Missy’s response to this unplanned situation and the opportunity to continue the crash course training for whatever challenges the assessment might present tomorrow. Tammy led Missy to the bed’s edge and then used her hands to guide Missy’s hips to turn so that the back of Missy’s legs were against the bed. Then using one hand to hold her arm and another to guide her midsection, Tammy lowered Missy onto the bed. As her head hit the bed, Missy looked up only to see her binky floating down in Tammy’s hand, Tammy having expertly retrieved the binky from her purse as only a multi-tasking mother could do. Missy was well past objection and simply let her mouth open to receive her binky as she felt her back collapse into the soft bed. As Tammy produced yet another Pampers from her purse, the elderly lady interrupted, “Oh my, does she only wear Pampers? I would have thought she would need something more absorbent than that?” And without waiting for the response, the lady put her finger up indicating for everyone to wait while she went back into the bathroom and returned with one of the thickest diapers either Tammy or Missy had ever seen. “This seems like it would be more comfortable, don’t you think dear?” The old lady had maneuvered herself in between Missy’s legs at the edge of the bed and had targeted the question to Missy. Missy didn’t dare remove the binky because to be honest, she didn’t want to answer, but instead her eyes turned to Tammy who was nodding ‘yes’ behind the elderly lady. Without a second thought, Missy just mimicked Tammy’s nod. The lady needed no further invitation and proceeded to reach under Missy’s skirt, lifting her bottom to bunch the skirt at her waist before unsnapping the onesie. She expertly opened the new diaper and slid it under Missy before removing the Pampers tapes and quickly yanking the diaper free. Missy was beyond embarrassed as her freshly shaved privates were now on full display to a complete stranger. The cool sensation of the wipes running up and down her private parts sent a jolt of shock and electricity through Missy’s body. The lady didn’t even pause, but only proceeded to apply generous amounts of the lotion and baby powder that Tammy had produced, before adeptly securing the new diaper. With the final snap of the onesie and the lady’s hands returning the skirt edges down to cover her newly padded bottom, the lady stepped back, joy seeping from every part of her being, her hands clasped together, proud and elated to have helped Missy get changed. “Wow!” Tammy exclaimed, “You really area a pro! Missy dear, I hope you appreciate you just got a treat as I’ve never seen such grandmotherly perfection in my life!” Missy saw Tammy’s eyes focused on Missy’s, somehow instructing her to play along. All Missy could do was raise her hands in a soft mock clap, choosing to hold onto the binky for dear life and hoping nothing further would be asked of her. Gently, Tammy helped Missy get up off the bed. Everyone now noticed a dramatic difference, however. The thick diaper that now snuggly held Missy’s private parts was five times thicker than the Pampers. Missy couldn’t touch her knees together, let alone walk by moving her feet straight. Instead, Missy had to almost curve her stride like a banana to account for the diaper separating her legs and wanting to rub against her inner thigh as she moved. The obvious “waddling” that followed only produced yelps of excitement from the two moms, while Missy just looked down trying to keep herself from falling over as she tried to walk. Fortunately, Tammy had one hand guiding Missy’s arm and the other wrapped around her waist to help make sure that her little one didn’t fall onto the pavement outside the RV. The old man chuckled to himself as the parade passed him by again, the skirt no longer able to hide the onesie beneath, and the onesie no longer able to contain the full diaper. “Thank you so much! That was much better than trying to do all that in the back of my car!” Tammy gently hugged the elderly lady as they reached the passenger side door of Tammy’s car. “If you’d like, I could keep in touch and next time you are in the area, maybe we could get together?” Tammy offered, excited to have another resource should the need arise as things moved forward. “Oh yes!” the lady answered, clapping her hands together and then springing into action to get a pen and paper from the RV to write her information. While she was gone, Tammy decided she would help Missy get into the car. A thought dawned on her that she would never let Cammie ride in the front seat and it probably would be a concern to the grandmother to see a “young” child in the front seat. Following her instinct, Tammy opened the rear door and shuffled Missy to the edge of the seat, being careful to help swing her legs in as a confused Missy continued to nurse her binky and will the situation to completion. Missy raised her hands and then felt the seatbelt clasp at her side before the door was gently closed. She saw Tammy and the lady exchange information before they hugged again and Tammy got into the car. As they drove away from the ice cream stand, Missy felt years younger than when they had even arrived, and hardly even cared, simply relieved that the experience was complete. Missy turned to look out the window, her body suddenly feeling very sleepy. As she watched the telephone poles pass by her window, the rhythm of the road seemed to lull her further toward sleep. Eventually, her heavy eyelids convinced her to just let go, and, to Tammy’s delight, Missy fell asleep. Tammy drove as carefully as she could and decided that from here on out, Missy should be treated exactly as she would treat Cammie. As far as she could tell, Missy was embracing it and it seemed the only chance they would have to impress Dr. Hadley would be if Missy could, in fact, mimic the age of her mentee. As she finally pulled back into the apartment parking lot, Tammy made note of the overwhelming feeling of excitement that rippled through her body, looking forward to everything that lay ahead. She turned off the ignition and texted Mabel that they were back, asking if Mabel and Came could join them in the parking lot and to bring down the "new" stroller. Missy's eyelids fluttered open at the sound of the door opening. She felt her arms being grabbed and another arm under her legs as she was lowered into a seat outside the car. Before she could even make sense of it all, she saw Mabel kneel in front of her and snap some type of buckle across her lap. A bottle of milk appeared, and the binky was clipped onto a necklace as the bottle's nipple found its way up to Missy's lips. Almost instantly the seat began to move, leaning back as it arrived at the curve and then a slight push up before leveling off again on the sidewalk. As the seat continued moving, Missy just naturally drew in the warm milk and honey into her tummy, looking to her left and right to try and make sense of what was happening. Then, as if entering into a formation of some kind, another seat came up alongside of her. She turned to see Cammie sitting in a similar seat, suckling on a similar bottle, and together they watched as the world moved before them like a movie. There seemed to be chatter behind them, but neither Cammie nor Missy could be bothered with the conversation, instead content to finish their milk and look at the clouds as sunset approached.

I will only add here that I am and have now been trying #2 incontinence in addition to urinary under the potential premise that losing control of bowels may help increase total loss of control of urinary. I know physiologically they aren't linked, but psychologically it has helped!

I wash them in warm water, normal cycle. I do dry them on normal dry but always include more items as I find that the plastic can wear out faster if left alone to be exposed to the heat of the dryer cylinder. That said, I have had zero problems with mildew and while it may take a little longer to dry, they show relatively little wear from wash usage. I also have let them finish drying by taking the Terry cloth lining out and hanging them on a hanger by the plastic part over an AC vent! Takes a little longer, but then less wear from the dryer. I would say I "leak" into them one out of every 3 nights and have a rotation of 3 as well. That said, I would say mine get washed an average of 3-5 times a month. I had one develop holes near the leg seam after 6 months of use, but the others have held up just fine. Hope that helps!

I love the idea...you have more experience on the site as to the best way to get this list...is it a simple survey? If we can figure out how to get that list, I can easily create the pricing table by supplier of kinds. Or, alternatively, we can "tag" the entries in a bigger list as "DD Preferred" or something like that?

MOST PRICE MOVEMENTS ACROSS SUPPLIERS TO DATE! August 12, 2022 Best Supplier Based on Price Per Diaper Product Allegro Medical Amazon Carewell LLMedico Northshore XP Medical Abena M4 Clothlike (M) N/A 1.580 1.428 1.500 N/A 1.618 Better Dry (L) N/A 1.667 N/A 1.667 N/A 1.837 Beyond XP5000 (M) N/A 1.607 N/A 1.696 N/A 2.068 Confidry 24/7 (M) N/A 1.667 N/A 1.639 N/A 1.712 Crinklz Original (L) N/A 1.917 N/A 1.833 2.283 2.004 MegaMax 12 Hour (L) N/A 3.300 N/A N/A 3.000 N/A Molicare Premium Elastic Max Absorbency Cloth (L) N/A 1.564 2.00 1.696 N/A N/A Medline Extended Wear (M) N/A 1.042 1.300 N/A N/A N/A Northshore Air Supreme (M) N/A 2.200 N/A N/A 2.000 N/A Tena Super Clothlike (L) 1.044 0.896 0.848 1.071 N/A N/A Tena Stretch Ultra (M/R) 0.766 0.715 0.646 0.792 N/A N/A Tranquility Smartcore (L) 1.163 0.979 1.104 1.031 N/A N/A Tranquility ATN (M) 0.809 1.042 0.854 0.854 N/A 1.065 Tranquility Slimline (M) 0.691 0.773 0.729 0.708 N/A N/A Notes Lowest 1. All product pricing are based on case pricing without shipping or applicable taxes PD = Price Decrease 2. Prices are shown as price per diaper based on number of diapers in case. PI = Price Increase Supplier Shipping Notes Discounts Product May 18 May 25 June 2 June 9 June 16 June 23 Jul 11 Aug 12 Notes LLMedico Free, no minimums 10% Military, Teacher, Responder, Disadvantaged Abena M4 Clothlike (M) 1.428 1.500 1.500 1.500 1.500 1.500 1.500 1.500 1-3 business days 5% for Auto-Ship Better Dry (L) 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 Lowest 5% store credit upon purchase Beyond XP5000 (M) 1.643 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 Confidry 24/7 (M) 1.639 1.639 1.639 1.639 1.639 1.639 1.639 1.639 Lowest Crinklz Original (L) 1.833 1.833 1.833 1.833 1.833 1.833 1.833 1.833 Lowest Molicare Premium Elastic Max Absorbency Cloth-like (L) 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 1.696 Tena Stretch Ultra (M/R) 0.847 0.847 0.847 0.847 0.847 0.847 0.847 0.792 PD Tena Super Clothlike (L) 1.232 1.232 1.232 1.232 1.232 1.232 1.232 1.071 PD Tranquility Smartcore (L) 1.031 1.031 1.031 1.031 1.031 1.031 1.031 1.031 Tranquility ATN (M) 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 Tranquility Slimline (M) 0.760 0.760 0.760 0.760 0.760 0.760 0.760 0.708 PD XP Medical Free over $70 5% for Auto-Ship Abena Abri-Form Original 4 (M) 1.635 1.635 1.600 1.600 1.600 1.600 1.618 1.618 Supply Chain Surcharge $4.70 Beyond XP5000 (M) 2.056 2.056 2.056 2.056 2.056 2.056 2.068 2.068 Fedex 3-5 business days Better Dry (L) 1.828 1.828 1.828 1.828 1.828 1.828 1.837 1.837 Confidry 24/7 (M) 1.704 1.704 1.704 1.704 1.704 1.704 1.712 1.712 Crinklz Original (L) 1.995 1.995 1.995 1.995 1.995 1.995 2.004 2.004 Tranquility ATN (M) 1.059 1.059 1.059 1.059 1.059 1.059 1.065 1.065 Northshore Free Ground over $149 10% off mixed case of 7 Northshore products Crinklz Original (L) 2.283 2.283 2.283 2.283 2.283 2.283 2.283 2.283 5% for Auto-ship Northshore Air Supreme (M) 1.883 1.883 1.883 2.000 2.000 2.000 2.000 2.000 Lowest MegaMax 12 Hour (L) 3.000 3.000 3.000 3.000 3.000 3.000 3.000 3.000 Lowest Carewell Free over $49 10% Military, Teacher, Responder, Disadvantaged Abena M4 Clothlike (M) 1.428 1.428 1.428 1.428 1.428 1.428 1.428 1.428 Lowest 1-2 Business Days 5% for Auto-Ship Medline Extended Wear (M) 1.292 1.292 1.300 1.300 1.300 1.300 1.300 1.300 Molicare Premium Elastic Max Absorbency Cloth-like (L) 1.643 1.643 1.518 1.518 1.518 1.518 1.518 2.000 PI Tena Super Clothlike (L) 0.893 0.893 0.893 0.893 0.893 0.893 0.893 0.848 PD Tena Stretch Ultra (M/R) 0.625 0.625 0.625 0.625 0.667 0.667 0.667 0.646 PD Lowest Tranquility Smartcore (L) 1.104 1.104 1.104 1.104 1.104 1.104 1.104 1.099 Tranquility ATN (M) 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 0.854 Tranquility Slimline (M) 0.661 0.661 0.661 0.661 0.667 0.667 0.667 0.729 PI Allegro Medical No Free Shipping 5% Auto-Ship Tena Super Clothlike (L) 1.044 1.044 1.044 1.044 1.044 1.044 1.044 1.044 Tena Stretch Ultra (M/R) 0.766 0.766 0.766 0.766 0.766 0.766 0.766 0.766 Tranquility Smartcore (L) 1.163 1.163 1.163 1.163 1.163 1.163 1.163 1.163 Tranquility ATN (M) 0.809 0.809 0.809 0.809 0.809 0.809 0.809 0.809 Lowest Tranquility Slimline (M) 0.691 0.691 0.691 0.691 0.691 0.691 0.691 0.691 Amazon Prime Free Shipping None Abena M4 Clothlike (M) 1.456 1.456 1.417 1.456 1.456 1.456 1.456 1.580 PI Better Dry (L) 1.667 1.667 2.012 2.013 2.027 1.667 2.025 1.667 PD Lowest Beyond XP5000 (M) 1.678 1.678 1.678 1.678 1.678 1.678 1.678 1.607 PD Lowest Confidry 24/7 (M) 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.667 1.736 1.667 1.667 1.667 Crinklz Original (L) 1.917 1.917 1.917 1.917 1.917 1.917 1.917 1.917 MegaMax 12 Hour (L) 3.300 3.300 3.300 3.300 3.300 3.300 3.300 3.300 Molicare Premium Elastic Max Absorbency Cloth-like (L) 1.564 1.564 1.564 1.564 1.564 1.564 1.564 1.564 Medline Extended Wear (M) 1.333 1.333 1.424 1.596 1.921 1.921 1.042 1.042 Lowest Northshore Air Supreme (M) 2.083 2.083 2.083 2.083 2.200 2.200 2.200 2.200 Tena Super Clothlike (L) 0.869 0.845 0.845 0.845 0.845 0.845 0.870 0.896 PI Tena Stretch Ultra (M/R) 0.788 0.736 0.733 0.660 0.637 0.715 0.715 0.715 Tranquility Smartcore (L) 1.187 0.979 0.979 0.979 0.979 0.979 0.979 0.979 Lowest Tranquility ATN (M) 0.896 0.896 0.896 0.896 0.896 1.063 1.001 1.042 PI Tranquility Slimline (M) 0.680 0.680 0.680 0.680 0.680 0.711 0.721 0.773 PI

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'll have more to post sometime over the weekend. Sorry for the delay! Again, appreciate the support!