Enthusi

Hi all, I wasn’t sure the right forum for this as it applies to “all of the above” so I apologize if this isn’t the right place. Due to a combination of intentional and unintentional factors I’ve been losing some weight. I tend to be on the cusp between medium and large, and traditionally I size up. But with the recent slimming down I feel like larges are just a tad too large now. This is weird. The diaper looks and feels so much more snug. I’m not used to feeling the tapes (with larges the tapes are over the front panel). So it’s simultaneously thinner and thicker feeling. The real test will be seeing how it holds up.

</Thread> I have to say in the excessive time I spent ruminating on this perceived rejection* I never considered this perspective. You’re right, I never went through the grief cycle, like so many others there did when they received the diagnosis of incontinence. My experience was more of a relief cycle. *This get’s to @oznl’s Uno Reverse question asking me why I get so offended when accused of faking it. The answer is quite simple: I wish I knew myself! It’s on my growing list of things to work through in therapy! 😂😬

Thats the other thing that bugs me about how much hate I received for not suffering with incontinence. many of us here are freaking EXPERTS in the urinary tract system, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of incontinence, management, and treatment, and we are creative problem solvers who deal with a different type of stigma, and because we live it 24/7. Like @Little Sherri said, their loss.

To be fair there are a lot of decent open minded folks on that website, just as there are some closed-minded folks here. But yeah, if some of the people on that forum only knew what you and I know… I never thought of it that way before. 😍 I think I took the positive affirming atmosphere here for granted when I branched out.

Oh I forgot to mention above, yeah I have rip roaring adhd and more than my share of anxiety. And wouldn’t you know it, the brain and body are connected. Funny thing is that I did mention adhd in my post on that forum and someone also dismissed that as a bogus excuse. For others like me and you, we know it’s not.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad. I’m just curious. Is it a Sample bias? Bad experience with ABDLs? A desire to maintain a gated community? An assumption that incontinence must cause suffering for it to count? Or am I off the mark on this one? I recently posted on an incontinence forum on a different website about how in I assumed my bladder control was normal to begin with. I got the idea after reading a different thread where someone said they were never good at sensing their bladder filling. I never knew that was a thing. But my whole life I’ve had a weird relationship with my bladder. I clearly remember being terrified of accidents and was always running to the bathroom and I would drain a full bladder. It’s like I was in constant reactive mode. That’s would explain why it felt burdensome to maintain control. Because it was assumed my bladder control was normal and I do have abdl tendencies, I never considered that other people get a more warning than I do that the have to go. And oh my goodness. Some people were supportive. But there were a vocal few who made it clear that it it’s impossible to become incontinent from untraining (it absolutely is. See: Functional incontinence and spiraling). They accused me of rewriting my narrative to say I was incontinent the whole time (I never said that. I said maintaining continence was perhaps more difficult for me than I gave myself credit for). They implied I was undeserving of sympathy (I never asked for sympathy). One person told me this belongs in fiction (it doesn’t), several people told me this doesn’t belong here. The crazy thing is that if you go to any urologist or primary care doctor and say that you suspect there might be some sensory issues that would explain why bladder control is difficult for you, they’d take it at face value. I know this because I’ve literally said to my urologist who I see for urinary incontinence. He nodded and agreed and went on to discuss various treatment options and other topics. I’ve disclosed my bladder control issues to several trusted friends and family, and trust me never once has anyone even thought of calling me out. I didn’t mention the ABDL stuff, but even if I did, I strongly suspect they still wouldn’t question. To be fair incontinence doesn’t come up in discussion that much. Turns out most people don’t really care that much how good or bad you are at controlling your pee, and how it came to be that way. Let me be clear: I get that people suffer from incontinence and they need a community space free of fetishists using them for masturbation material. I fully support gatekeeping in that situation because it is inappropriate. Help me understand it. I’m sure the people on that incontinence support forum had their reasons to demonize me for what I thought was a message in support of other incontinent folks like me. Either way I’m thankful for this lovely group. ❤️ Also… I’m curious others thoughts on if there is a *possible* sensory predisposition that would explain why some of us ABDLs prefer to be incontinent. But that’s a different convo different day.

This is great! I do this too but with an imaginary catheter being inserted.

That would make perfect sense. I wonder how much this stupid little reflex contributes to our collective dysphoria?

I’m digging the BeDry series from Incontrol. Competitive pricing, free shipping, subscribe and save, comfy.

Whenever I have victories I would give my self a nice little massage (…) and an affirming reminder that i was a good boy.

What do you do to reward yourself when you have a victory?

Same thing happens to me, and it’s been years. I wonder if it’s just a reflex because the contractions do literally nothing to stop me from leaking.

Wow! @Ineedboth1994! Honestly you’re the first person I met who sought fecal incontinence prior to urinary incontinence. But I totally vibe with it just feeling right

Can I ask you a question out of genuine curiosity: I take it you have dual incontinence? Was any of that by choice? You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable.

I can’t begin to tell you how important having that challenge mindset is. And in fact when I crafted my post I debated introducing a second talking about how I love that I am annoyed by the constant small inconveniences of being incontinent. I get the feeling you, and many others get it.