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*Sorry for the delay. I fell into a black hole named Elden Ring* Chapter 10 (Amy) - Sunday Pretending to be asleep is a great defense against conversations you don’t want to have. I don’t think any of the nurses bought it, but at least they were nice enough to go along with it. It does have one fatal flaw. Footsteps are extremely difficult to discern. A flick to the nose was a strong indicator that someone other than a nurse had entered my room. “Fuck!”. Opening my eyes, I see Alex and Mrs Miller standing over me. “Three out of ten on the execution. Seven out of ten on dedication”. Alex taunts as she takes a seat next to me. “Hello dear. Alex told me what happened. Hopefully you’re feeling better”. Mrs Miller always sounds like a pleasant guest on a kids’ show. I missed her. Wait. Exactly how much did Alex tell her? She isn’t looking at me with utter disdain, so it couldn’t be ‘everything’. I don’t regret telling Alex, but the knowledge that someone else has my secrets chills the bone. “Hello Mrs Miller”. If the dread of hiding under the covers was a sinking feeling before, now I was drowning, holding in my agonizing last breath. “It’s Carol dear. How are you feeling?”. When did asking how someone ‘is’ become small talk? How am I supposed to answer other than a polite lie? “Sorry. Carol. I’m fine. Really, it was nothing. They just wanted to be safe”. I don’t think this can count as a lie, given that I know she already knows the truth. “It was not nothing, and you don’t need to pretend that it was”. Thanks Alex. Yes, the elephant is still in the room, but it is generally advisable to not make eye contact. Without a rebuttal, I’m forced to sit in silence. Agonizing silence. The kind of silence where seconds feel like hours. However long silence needs to last to become awkward happened an eternity ago. If I speak now does it bring even more focus to the silence I’m breaking? My arms itch. What is the chance I can get through this visit without everything crashing down on me? Better to not think about it. How has no one broken this silence? I would say it’s a deliberate mind game, but even I’m not that paranoid. Fine. I’ll be the scapegoat (The book of Little literature ended up being even better than expected. Such colorful and fun language. The swear words alone could fill a small dictionary). “I thought you were at the balloon festival for the weekend”. There. Easy normal conversation. No need to notice that I apparently am suffering rigor mortis from the neck down. “I was, but when I heard what happened I decided to come home early”. Of course it’s my fault. Everything nowadays seems to be. “Sorry”. I almost went this year, but couldn’t find anyone to swap shifts. Probably because I don’t have any friends at work. Or anywhere else for that matter. Present company excluded. “Nothing to be sorry about dear”. Why does she always have to be so nice? “Is there a reason you're stiff as a board and hiding under the covers?”. My face spoke before my voice could. I didn’t even get time to open my mouth before Alex had thrown the covers back. “I can explain!”. In my defense it looks a lot worse than it is. I wasn’t currently bleeding, but my arms, torso, and sheets were caked in dried blood. Blood loss always needs to factor in time to really consider how dangerous it is. “Mom can you watch her? I’m going to go grab a nurse”. Alex is out of the room before evening getting a response. “Sure sweetie”. The same sweet and patient voice as always. How is she the most calm? “Sorry”. Pulling the covers back up at this point would be pointless. “Shh. It’s okay”. Why am I such a fucking idiot? “Do you want to look at some pictures of the festival before Alex comes back? I got some good ones of the pirate”. A man came every year dressed as a pirate and had a black balloon with a skull on it (Littles call it the Jolly Rogers, which is a much better name). Scared the crap out of Alex and I when he showed that the hook hand was for real. Farming accident, but that still makes him a real pirate in my eyes. “Thanks”. I reply meekly. Staring at the foot of the bed. Taking a seat, she starts to scroll through pictures on her phone. “Did you go up this year?”. After going year after year, we built a rapport with some of the owners. It felt like a secret club as a kid. “It was a tad windy so I didn’t ask this time. I know it’s safe, but I can’t get over the image of a balloon in the wind”. There has never been any accident more serious than a bruise, but it sure doesn’t feel that way when you get a strong gust. Yet another thing that is my fault. She would have been able to go today if not for me. “The wind kept up today, so no need to look so glum”. When Alex and I were kids we thought she could literally read minds. Turns out our thoughts weren’t that complex. Then again, I’ve been caught in every lie for two days, so it’s probably on me. Alex returns with a nurse and a cart. At least the lack of panic on either of them bodes well for me. “Don’t worry. I’ll have you cleaned up as good as new”. Taking a seat opposite of Mrs Miller, the smell of antiseptic stings my nose as he gets to work. “Amy, we’ll be right outside. Okay?”. It’s a nice gesture to respect my privacy, although at this point purely symbolic. “This might sting”. The hint of sympathy in his voice was enough to know there was no ‘might’ about it. The mechanical rhythm sets in for both of us. A light tug here, a gentle push there. This whole stay has given me a greater appreciation for everyone who works in the medical system. To be able to handle this with clinical detachment is harder than it looks. I should know given that I’m currently failing at just that task. In my defense, the pain does make it more difficult. The continued irony is not lost on me as tears form in my eyes. If there is one upside, it is that I deserve this. Breathing sharply through my nose, I feel the familiar comfort of a gauze being wrapped around my arms. In a way it makes me homesick. “I just need to do a skin check, and then I got some new scrubs for you. Don’t worry about the sheets, someone will be in to change your bedding shortly”. At least this step I am utterly desensitized to. I struggle to think of a scenario that tops having someone watch you struggle to go to the bathroom. Changing into an identical copy of paper scrubs I lay back down onto a now sheet free hospital bed. Revealing a plastic coated mattress with faint stains. This feels more appropriate anyhow. “Let us know if you need anything alright?”. A nod and a smile and his departure is paired with Alex’s and Mrs Miller’s return. Concern evident, but unsaid. Grabbing Pokey and pulling her to my chest, I await the awkward silence doomed to follow. “Hands”. Despite being an objectively simple word, I’m a bit perplexed. “What?”. My shock does little to slow Alex’s agenda as she pulls my hands into her lab. “I’m going to trim your nails. This whole thing has been stressful. It’s perfectly natural to cope however you can. So instead of trying to tax your willpower to resist, I’m taking away the temptation. I know we are both tired of apologies, so let’s skip that step and go right into making this better”. I’m glad one of us can think rationally. Dr Martinez was right, freedom from choice is not always a contradiction. “Thanks”. I hate manicures, but I think I can make this an exception. “Did you still want to hear about the rest of the trip?”. Asked in the same way as if the interruption was a phone call. “Please”. I love listening to vacation stories, assuming I like the person. Someone I like telling me about the fun they had. I feel good for them. Getting lost in Mrs Miller’s narration is easy, each picture its own story. As a librarian she had time set aside to read to kids. I would hang out in an aisle off the side pretending to not listen even as a teen. After enough feigned disinterest I was ‘promoted’ to her helper on the weekends. I didn’t get paid or anything, but I had fun. “Feet”. My trance was broken with yet another proclamation. “Wait. I don’t do that with my feet”. I’m not sure how I would even go about that. I’m not that flexible. “And now you never will”. The smugness was not strictly necessary. “Really, I’ve only used my fingers”. Is there a verbal way of indicating an asterisk? Because that statement comes with many a caveat. “Amy. I can leave it like this if you really want, but can you honestly say it wouldn’t tempt you?”. I guess I could scratch my legs. “Okay. Do it”. The first smart choice I’ve made all day. “Ever bite?”. A question better suited to a dog, but I guess that’s where we’re at. “Sometimes. But I never break the skin”. How would she even fix this? Mouth guard? She couldn’t have brought a pacifier with her. Could She? “Relax. I was just going to see if you were allowed gum”. Mind reading seems to be hereditary. “I promise I won’t. Please, I don’t want the nurses to think I’m any more crazy than they already do”. Pointless I know, but I’ve been embarrassed enough for one day. “Okay, but I will be checking for bite marks. Do we have a deal?”. Having the implied threat of what happens if she finds one is certainly a strong motivator. “Deal”. The sudden urge to bite my arm will just have to wait. “And what will you do if you need help?”. I feel like the kid being called on after not doing their homework. “Call a nurse or ask to talk to you”. It’s not like I didn’t know that before. Can’t plead ignorance now. “Good. With that business finished, do you still want us here?”. Did she really need to ask? “Yes please”. Minus the scenery, we could have been on Mrs Miller’s back porch. I got to hear about the rest of the trip, and even played a few hands of cards that Alex brought. I hope I get to go home soon. As the mid morning gave way to the mid afternoon Mrs Miller had to head home. It was good to see her, although with her gone there were some questions that had been lingering. “So… On a scale of one to completely fucked, how fired am I? Because I was supposed to start my shift over an hour ago”. Maybe it would be better to use a logarithmic scale, because I have a pretty good idea of just how fucked I am. “You’re not fired”. Alex didn’t even blink. “Are you sure? Because getting fired sounds like exactly what happens for a no show”. Or more accurately, that is exactly what happens. “I texted your manager yesterday to say that you would be unavailable until further notice owing to a medical issue”. I’ve seen him chew out a girl for being late coming from a funeral. I don’t think he cares. “And what did he say?”. And sorry you had to read it. “Things that are better left un-repeated, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not fired for having a medical emergency, and you shouldn’t be thinking about work anyways”. Why do I get the feeling that’s a partial truth? “Even if I’m not fired right now, there is no chance it stays that way when I’m going to be gone for who knows how many days”. I don’t want to be in the same zip code as him when it comes to that conversation. “Do you trust me?”. This isn’t about the job anymore, is it? “Yes”. How could I not trust her after everything that has happened. “Then don’t worry about it. I took care of it, and there is nothing you need to do. Okay?”. The pleading at the end feels like a gut punch. “Okay”. I go back to hugging Pokey, trying not to think about the implications of this conversation. “Speaking of heading home, do you have any ideas of when?”. I know I pretty much asked to not have to make decisions, but the amount of information I get wouldn’t fill up one side of a note card. “A few days”. Her smile does little to reassure me. “Do you know why they are holding me? I would have expected to either be discharged or sent to a padded room by now”. And one of those sounds much more likely. “They want to make sure you’re safe, plus it is time to be able to line up a therapist and a nutritionist for when you are home”. That’s… plausible. “So I’m really coming home? That wasn’t a white lie?”. I don’t know what kind of bureaucratic magic Alex worked to keep me out of that, but I will forever be grateful. “Yes Amy. You are really coming home. Just try to relax in the meantime. Okay?”. Said in the same tone as a parent pleading with their kid to calm down about Christmas being tomorrow. “Thanks”. I could do this. Only a few more days. Just don’t fuck this up. “There is one thing I want you to work on until then. You need to eat more”. A stone drops in my stomach. So much for doing this. “I have been eating . Really!”. At least more than I had been. “I know, but to be healthy it needs to be more”. I don’t think I doctor was needed for that to be clear. I’m well aware of how stupid I’m being. “How much more?”. I mentally brace myself for the answer. “I spoke to the nurses, and they said 50%”. I have generously been eating 33% (realistically 20%). 50% feels like a mountain from that. “50% of every meal? Or like 50% of a meal each day”. I could manage half a meal a day. As long as they let me take most of the day. “50% of every meal. I know it’s a lot, but I know you can do it”. It’s not even good food. “I’ll try”. Really. If this is the thing she wants of me, then I’ll give it my all. Still, it's better to keep expectations low. “Thank you”. The head pat was appreciated if slightly patronizing. The rest of the week was a blur. Alex came by a few times and so did Mrs Miller. Exchanging books and chatting until it was time for me to be nagged about eating a neglected meal. I did try, and I know I ate more than before, but 50% was too high a goal. I think everyone on some level knew that. On Wednesday I learned that I would be going home Thursday, and that’s when the paperwork started. Most of it I just asked for them to set aside and let Alex handle, but some I had to do myself. ‘Contract for safety’. I have now filled out five of these and still don’t understand them. It’s a non-binding contract and is effectively made under duress. Even if I wasn’t trying to get better, I still would have signed it to leave. I doubt they had any misconceptions about it either, but liability is liability. Add risk assessments and self evaluations and I had had enough. They eventually stopped bringing them after I started making paper airplanes out of them and throwing them into the hall. Yes I am aware how mature that makes me. Bite me. Then comes the waiting. There’s a lot of it, and it goes by slowly. There isn’t a clock in my room so I can only guess at the time. Alex should be here any minute, but I thought that at least fifteen minutes ago. Or what I think was fifteen minutes ago. My head hurts. Reading the same paragraph for the seventh time in a row, I try and fail to retain any of the words. Alex had told me it was a fun and forgettable mystery novel. Although I can’t really blame the book for the latter. “Get changed”. My cyclical thoughts break as a bag lands on my feet. Non-monochromatic clothes made out of something other than waxy paper. How I missed you. “So this is it. I’m really going home”. Half muffled in my race to embrace the loving comfort of a cotton t-shirt. “Was it really all that bad?”. Embarrassing? Sure. Bad? Some, but that was mostly my fault. Necessary? Yes, but only begrudgingly so. “No, not all bad. Still, I’ll be happy to be home. I think I missed a few calls from my bed”. Can’t forget my shower. Even after all of this I’m still not a exhibitionist, and could do without an audience. “I already checked in at the nurse’s desk, so as soon as you’re ready we can get going”. “Assuming I still know how shoes function, we should be good to go”. Getting to my feet was more of an effort than expected, but a helping hand and I was ready to go. “I know you’re excited, but take it slow. The last thing either of us want is for you to fall and be stuck here for a few more days”. Sufficiently kowtowed, I held Alex’s hand as we slowly made it to the parking garage. Alex got her mom’s car when she turned sixteen and it shows. Faded band stickers, eight different parking passes, and a distinct smell that was surprisingly not from smoking. Neither of us were cool enough to get in with that crowd. Relaxing as she finishes helping me into the front seat, I pinch myself just to be sure this isn’t a dream. The ride home is quiet. It’s pretty clear that both of us are glad for this whole ordeal to be over. Sure there will be appointments and follow ups, but I’m free. We can hang out, watch movies, and be friends without an invisible wall between us, maybe for the first time in years. “It’s been almost a week. I never thought I would be this happy to see a parking lot in my life”. The stupid parking space that we had to extra for, and which charitably could be called ‘relatively close’ at best. “Come on. There’s a lot of stairs between us and home”. Is there a hint of somber in her voice? She’s probably just tired. I know I am. Many flights of stairs later (and a break), we are finally home. Alex grabs her keys as I lean against the wall. Following Alex in, I stop dead in my tracks. The lights are on and a tall woman in a black suit is sitting at the kitchen table. A stack of paper in front of her. “Hello Amy. My name’s Tara Black. Why don’t you take a seat”.

Chapter 9: Planning Love in Dimensions – LittleFallenPrincess “That... is a fair point. There are countless universes out there, and as of now... Noelle and I have no way to find a universe directly, unless we have already been there before. It’s like... it’s like a phone number. We can dial randomly and hope we find the right one... but unless we know it specifically... there are millions of possible dimensions we could end up in before we find the one they’re in.” Rose answered Charlie’s question in a way that even I understood. “So... how do we narrow that down?” Liv asked. “Also a good point.” Rose commented, making Liv blush. ‘Ha. Not just me who blushes now! There are three others who blush just as much as I do!’ I thought to myself, grinning. “We also have to take into account that if the Zadri did come across Freya and Ophelia’s relationship... they would have imprisoned them, siphoning an even greater amount of power from them. Which would indicate that if we even managed to make it there... we may be outnumbered and overpowered.” Rose continued. “So we need to not only find out more about where they are, but also what happened and how we can fight against such a powerful civilisation?” I asked. “Correct. So let’s first think about the first two parts of that. We need more information...” “Wait, do you mean...?” Noelle clutched Rose’s hand. “Yes, babygirl. We need to find more jewels. More jewels means more visions, which means more intel. We need to know where this dimension is, how powerful its inhabitants are, what happened to the Goddesses and where and how they are being locked up. And from what I’ve found out... is that each dimension has a jewel. At least... each of the dimensions the Goddesses visited.” “Well we know there is a statue and a jewel on our Earth. The jewel was our first vision, and Paige... well Paige took the statue and gave it to the person she was in debt to.” Alexandria spoke up. We all turned to Paige, who quickly hid behind Alex. “It’s okay baby, the statues are useless to us. It’s the jewels we need.” Alex said, trying to reassure her wife.” “So there’s no point going to our Earth then?” Paige asked. “Not exactly...” Rose interrupted. “Huh?” We all said in unison. “Let me explain... each dimension vibrates at a different frequency, occupying the same point of space. But every jewel is on the same frequency, indicating they were all created in one dimension, but sent out to other dimensions. They do, however, gain a natural... aura, from whatever dimension they’re in. Noelle can attest, the aura emanating from the Aeyuivia jewel is very different to the one from the one you had, but yours still gives off a very different aura to everything else in your dimension. From what I can tell... your jewel did not come from your Earth...” Noelle nodded along with what Rose was trying to explain. “Wait... so mine is a fake?” Alex asked. “Not exactly. But it didn’t come from your Earth. It must have come from another.” “How?” “No idea. Maybe one of the travellers brought it? Maybe someone else capable of dimensional travel? We don’t know, but that indicates that we should find another jewel on your Earth. Aeyuivia is the only one we have that is actually from that dimension, so there’s no point going there, but each of our Earths should have a jewel. The more jewels... the more visions. The more visions.... the more information we gather.” “But how will we find them?” I asked. “That... is actually the easiest thing to answer. The simple version is... a locating spell. The downside... we can only locate it to within a city radius. Maybe a rough area of a city if we’re lucky.” “Well that’s better than nothing. What do we need for this location spell?” Alex asked, Paige still hiding behind her. “Well we’ll need one of the jewels we have, and to be in the dimension the target jewel is in.” “Which limits us to two groups at most.” Charlie suggested. “I thought of that. We could have Noelle and I take half each... but I think with some of the risks some of our dimensions pose... I think we’re best off sticking together for each one.” Rose counter-suggested. “So... which one first?” “I was thinking, we’re best off getting the ones from our universes first. We know those places best, we know what we’re getting into... and where the safe places are.” We all took a minute to think about what that entailed exactly. “Rose... that means...” Noelle tugged on Rose’s sleeve. “I know baby. The council. But... it’s worth the risk. Hopefully we’ll be in and out before they even know we returned.” Rose kissed her girlfriend’s head. I thought about going home finally... like we had originally planned before all this happened. I hadn’t been home in about a year now... and to be completely honest, I was a bit nervous about going home. “I guess it would be nice to get home to at least check up on Evie and Daisy, and see what’s been happening with the island and the regressed littles... I’ve been able to keep in touch via email thanks to Evie’s signal... but I haven’t been able to check in on them in person since I saw them last.” I said. I looked to my side to see Morgan nodding and smiling down at me. “I need to get back to see what kind of backlash the sudden disappearance of mine caused. But as that was earlier today... I think ours can wait. Plus by the look on Paige’s face... I think she’d happily leave that one til last.” Liv giggled. Paige nodded at Liv and mouthed ‘thank you’ to her. Liv smiled back whilst Alex hugged Paige. “We need to get back soon-ish... our... family are returning soon, and they’ll be worried about us, we never told them where we were going, let alone that we were going at all!” Alex said, rocking Paige gently. “Well... Noelle and I need to prepare for our return to our dimension, so why don’t we get Earth Prime first? It was the last one we went to, and as Alex said, their family are probably worried about where they are. So Earth Prime first, then... Morgan and Faith’s dimension...? Then let’s say mine and Noelle’s... and then the diaper dimension.” Rose suggested. Liv rolled her eyes and her face had a look of disgust on it. Looking around, so did the other two littles. And as I looked in the mirror... so did I. “I hate that term.” Liv laughed. “Distaste for American terms aside, I think the Diaper dimension is best left for last. Then, if we need more information... we can start searching random universes. I know of a few from our travels, but we don’t know much about them other than some basics, so we’ll leave them until last.” Rose said, picking up a nearby book and holding it to her chest. “Sounds like a plan. What do we need to pack...” asked Morgan. “Well... normally I’d say you don’t need to pack anything, our magic could give you anything you need. But...” Rose looked... nervous. Which is very unlike her. “What is it?” Charlie asked. “I...” “Be honest.” Charlie gave that same look Morgan gives me when I’m fibbing. It was weird seeing her do it to someone who looks just like her... “Ever since that first jewel...” Rose still seemed hesitant to share with the rest of the group. So in response, Noelle stepped forward and raised her voice. “What she is trying to say, is our powers have... dwindled... since the first vision. We don’t know why, and we don’t know how to fix it. Our portals are fine... but our base magic... has disappeared. We... we didn’t want to worry you.” Noelle sighed. “Wait... what? Our two big powerhouses are... powerless?” I said out loud, very much meaning to keep it in. “...Yes. We don’t know why, but for some reason... we can’t cast anything.” Rose admitted, looking shameful. “What about the necklace you created for me?” asked Charlie. “We created that before the first vision. It’s still imbued with magic, but we wouldn’t be able to replicate it unless we find out and stop what is causing our powers to fail. We managed to cast a few smaller spells since the first vision, but nothing big and even then, the smaller spells have stopped altogether.” “So basically... pack everything? As we can’t rely on you two to conjure stuff for us.” Liv said. “Sorry. Seems that way, at least until our magic returns or we find out what’s causing it to weaken. Our portals are the only form of magic that seems unaffected and reliable. So pack everything you think you may need. Remember though, we’ll be in our own universes for a while, so we’ll know where to get clothes or food. Bring things we won’t have access to.” Rose suggested. “Right, so how about we all go get changed, get everything packed, then meet back in the living area in... half an hour?” Morgan suggested, taking my hand. Everyone nodded in agreement and each pair walked off together in different directions, heading back to their respective rooms. ------------------------------------------------- “We haven’t actually checked our room yet, babygirl... I wonder what Rose designed for us!” Morgan said, guiding me down the hallway from behind, her hands resting gently on my shoulders, making me feel safe... secure... “I know! We spent all that time exploring the spaces that aren’t specifically for us and never got around to seeing the one place that was! I bet it’s got robots and tech and everything!” I started getting excited, so I was hopping around in front of Morgan as we walked down the hallway to our room. During the conversation before, the embarrassment of wearing this babyish outfit in front of everyone subsided, so it no longer bothered me, especially now it was just Morgan and I. Upon opening the door to our room... we soon found out what was waiting for us. ...Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just a regular old bedroom that looked like any other hotel room. “Didn’t one of them say the rooms are designed specifically for us?” Morgan asked. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they said. But this... this room is just... oh wait, there’s a note.” I picked up the note and read it aloud. Dear Nerds. Yeah, that’s what you are. I know what you want, but being from a magic dimension... we don’t have a clue what you nerds need when it comes to tech. So... instead of designing it for you, we placed an enchantment on the room. Just think in your head what you want, and it’ll design itself accordingly. ~Noelle~ P.S. You know I love you both. Nerds. ❤️ “Well that answers that...” Morgan rolled her eyes. “So we just think about what we want, and the room will change accordingly?” “I think so. I don’t know how it works with two of us thinking about it...” Suddenly my vision went blank, and by the sudden noise Morgan made, it appeared that the same happened to her. It only happened for a second, before the room came into view again... only... much, much different. “Is that...” “A workbench...” “And loads of spare parts...” “And... WAIT WHY IS THERE A HIGHCHAIR AT THE COMPUTER?” I yelled, pointing at the baby pink highchair sat right where my normal chair would be. “I... sorry, I couldn’t resist...” Morgan grinned at me. “AND THERES A TINY WORKBENCH IN THE PLAYPEN.... MORGAN!” As she popped a dummy into my mouth, I was unfairly silenced by my girlfriend, so I resorted to pouting instead. “You know that doesn’t work on me, babygirl...” She grinned. “HMPH!” “Pout all you want... now, as much fun as it would be to try out all this equipment... we need to get packed for the trip.” “HMPH!” “Do you need some tummy time in your playpen whilst I get everything packed?” She teased, using that humiliating voice she saves for moments like this. I shook my head, pleading to Morgan not to do that. Not now at least. As much as I loved feeling little... I wouldn’t be much help to everyone if I had a permanent pout the whole adventure. “Thought so. Now you help Mummy, okay?” Giving in and nodding, I agreed to her terms and followed her over to the workshop bench. “So... we’ll need a tablet. Let’s ask Noelle to portal us back first to grab yours. Some cables to connect it up to anything... no doubt a changing bag for little miss grumpypants over here...” I pouted once again. “We could bring Evie?” I asked, sounding babyish due to the dummy still in my mouth. “We could... but I think we’re best off leaving her in our dimension until we need her.” “Aww. Okay. Fine.” “Now... let’s get you changed into something much more appropriate for travelling. The nappy stays on though, sorry sweetpea. Mummy’s rules.” “BUH...!” “But nothing. I very much expect the other three littles to be padded for this little adventure we’re going on, so you will be too. Plus even after your recovery, you have a bit of a weak bladder. So we can’t risk you having any accidents. Especially when we have to return to the diaper dimension. You know what happens to littles there if they have an accident in their panties...” “Yes, okay, fine! I get it. Can we just get packed and go now? Pleeeease?” “Someone is getting a little fussy. Shame we don’t have time for a nap...” Morgan grinned. ========================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this new story as it goes on! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Love in Dimensions. New chapters of Love in Dimensions every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! ?

You can! Its this thing called a wife!

Chapter 2 As the initial hubbub caused by Miriam's announcement died down, Mia stood and spoke confidently. "I'm sorry, I've made a mistake in coming here. I can not countenance your business model, and I refuse to participate in your business. I will not be going through your induction process." The other girls looked at her in surprise. They were still unsettled themselves, but Julie felt Mia's straight rejection was brave and slightly intimidating. Jane smiled slightly, Sandy looked ready to wet herself and Ellie remained taciturn. Miriam slowly nodded, and gestured to Daphne, who stood and walked up to Mia. "We understand, and thank you for being forthright. Such honesty validates our choice to give you this opportunity, but we will of course respect your wishes. If you come with me I can help arrange transport back home for you, and if you need a hotel tonight then naturally we'll cover that expense on your behalf." Daphne walked towards the door without touching Mia, then paused, waiting for her to follow. Surprised by the response Mia looked uncertain for a moment, then regained her resolve and followed Daphne from the room, pausing only when Miriam spoke, "Remember Mia, you signed an agreement not to discuss the things we've shared with you today. Will that be a problem?" Mia laughed quietly, and shook her head. "No," she replied, "who would believe this anyway." She left the room, still shaking her head. Julie found herself smiling as she realised the truth of Mia's comment. This was a very strange situation and she couldn't imagine telling anybody about it. She looked at the other girls and saw that Jane and Ellie had also seen the humour, but Sandy seemed to be struggling still. "Are you OK Sandy?" she asked, looking at the bewildered young woman. "Y-yes." Sandy looked at Julie, then across at Miriam. "I don't understand. You want us to be babies?" Miriam let the question hang in the air, looked around the room and in turn held the gaze of the four remaining girls, all rapt and waiting for her answer. Eventually she responded, a firm and quiet "No." Sandy looked ready to cry. "I don't understand," she faltered, before realising everybody was looking at her and stopping completely. Jane spoke up instead. "You wish us to experience the process, gain a thorough understanding from the inside, as it were?" "Exactly," confirmed Miriam, "We find this lets you learn swiftly and also gain empathy for those you will be taking through the whole process. Of course, they'll enjoy several weeks of preparation but those first few days are the most intense, and where your support will be most needed." Julie thought that through. There was a twisted logic at work there, but she realised she was still getting to terms with the whole business. This was a bit too much, too fast. "This is a lot to absorb," she said, "you've shared a lot of information and you seem to be asking us to make quite a commitment here." "I know," said Miriam sympathetically, "it's only a couple of hours since lunch and you've had to take a lot in. I ask that you trust us, we've been through this induction process many times and this has been the quickest and easiest way for our new teams to get up to speed. Will you work with us on this?" Julie saw Jane and Ellie nodding, and decided she'd better show her willingness to trust her new boss. "This is all very strange, but yes, I'll give it a go. After all," she rationalised, "it's only a week." That seemed to settle Sandy too, and she indicated her acquiescence. "Good!" said Miriam brightly, "Let's get you all started right away. Alice, could you lead our new team through to the changing room?" Julie remembered her first sight of that room. Warmly lit by the afternoon sun the dark wooden furniture glowed, offsetting the clinical white covers on the multiple flat tops. She'd run her hand across one, feeling it give softly when she pressed down, upholstered to provide comfort to anyone sat or lying on it. They were too bare to be beds, but sized similarly, as though the room was a dormitory for six adults, waiting for bedding and pillows. Instead one wall was lined with tidy shelves, and although at first glance it looked like neat piles of bedding and towels on them Julie quickly realised that these were diapers. There seemed to be different styles, disposable ones in plastic and with a paper like outer, and more traditional towelling. Under the shelves were closed drawers and Julie wondered what those held. She didn't need to wonder for long. Alice gathered the girls around her and gave them a quick rundown of the room and its contents. "OK, the changing tables are obvious, and you can see the selection of diapers on this wall. We have multiple types and most of them come in several sizes; we'll go through the various options another day and help you understand when and why to use each one. In these drawers we have plastic and rubber pants, along with diaper pins. Those are mainly for use with the washable diapers." Alice opened a different drawer. "Here we have wipes, powder and a couple of different creams for preventing and treating diaper rash, and in this drawer," she said, opening another, "plastic gloves and some more supplies. Now, if you look.." The tour continued for a few minutes more. Bins for used diapers, a sluice and laundry basket for the cloth ones, a door through to a room with showers and a large bath, big enough for all four girls to share. Julie recalled acknowledging the professionalism of the set up, but still viewing it with detachment, unable to visualise her participation with the room and its contents. That felt a long time ago. Four days later she was intimately familiar with that room, gaining proficiency in using its contents to provide security and comfort to others, and benefiting directly herself. Julie laughed to herself as she remembered that first attempt to put on a diaper. Miriam had joined them and as Alice finished the brief tour she'd drawn the group together to examine their experience. "Who's changed a diaper before?" she asked, skipping the niceties and getting straight to the issue. "I have. I changed my cousin's diaper like all the time," revealed Sandy. "Only until he was 8 though." Everybody in the room paused and looked at her, including Alice and Miriam, who asked the question on everybody's mind, "He wore diapers until he was 8?" "Oh. Oh, no. Umm!" Sandy looked flustered. "8 months! He was still a little baby." An odd tension nobody had noticed dissipated, Jane chuckled and soon everybody joined in. Miriam let it subside before resuming, "Excellent Sandy. Anybody else? No? OK, that wont be a problem. You'll need a different technique and approach for an adult anyway." She briskly described the basics of fitting a disposable diaper, how to manage the weight of an adult, securely fastening it, assuring the comfort of the recipient. "Later we'll give you some more input around cleaning and keeping a baby healthy, but as you're all starting with a clean slate, as it were, lets use this first session to focus on fitting and fastening. Now, who's first." Julie involuntarily stepped backwards before realising she'd done so. She saw Alice smile at her, but nothing was said and a moment later Ellie stepped forward, raising her hand confidently. She kept it raised only briefly before moving it swiftly to her side and she pulled down the zip on her dress before Miriam stopped her. "Thank you Ellie, I'm grateful to you for taking a lead here. But please, let us take over now." Miriam invited the other three girls to come closer. "Now girls, you have a new doll to undress. Show her how gentle and caring you can be, and strip young Ellie here completely naked." Julie hesitated. She hadn't anticipated needing to be fully nude, in front of everybody. Jane though stepped forward, gently lifted Ellie's arms and in a soft voice asked her if she could keep them raised. Ellie complied, cooperative but letting Jane take control. Julie helped Jane lift Ellie's dress from the hem up over her head, then pull it clear of her arms. As Jane folded it neatly Julie motioned to Sandy to help her with the slip. Seconds later Ellie was being asked to step out of her panties and stood there entirely bare, a small smile on her lips, waiting patiently for the next steps. Again Julie hesitated, the short muscular woman stood naked in front of her looking nothing like a baby needing care. Even Jane paused, looking to Miriam for guidance. Instead Alice reached towards Ellie, explaining, "You forgot something," as she plucked the wooden sticks from Ellie's hair, freeing it from its severe bun. Ellie shook her head to help her pale brown hair fall loose and it draped across her shoulders. "Good, now help Ellie onto the table," instructed Miriam. Sandy put an arm behind Ellie, gently took her far elbow and led her to the nearest changing table. It was low enough for Ellie to sit without jumping, but Sandy knelt and wrapped Ellie's ankles, drawing them up and onto the table too. This turned Ellie around, and Julie reached forward to pull softly on her shoulders to lie her down. Alice left the room as Miriam spoke again. "Keeping the diaper area clean and sterile is much easier if it's clear of hair," she explained, "and our customers also expect their babies to be clear of any adult hair." She paused, as the meaning of her words was absorbed by the four girls. Even Ellie looked perturbed and started to sit up. Julie instinctively halted her rise, and drew her back down to the table, earning a congratulatory smile from Miriam. Alice returned, bearing a bowl of warm water. Reaching into one of the drawers on the wall she retrieved a safety razor and an aerosol can labelled with a popular brand of shaving foam. "I'm sure you've all used one of these before," she said, "on your legs and under your arms, at least. Who wants to help Ellie here with a more intimate shave?" When none of them immediately volunteered Miriam spoke up, "There are four of you that need a shave, so each of you will get the chance to look after someone. Sandy, would you like to show us how it's done?" Sandy shrugged, whispered a quiet, "Sorry" at Ellie and picked up the can of shaving foam. Ellie rolled her eyes and stoically folded her arms through the next few minutes of indignity. Julie tried not to stare and instead found herself stroking Ellie's hair, unsure if she was providing comfort to Ellie or herself. "Umm. Feels weird to shave a baby," she commented. Alice agreed with her, "Yes, but this is a one-off. In a few days enough hair will grow back to support laser electrolysis. A course of that treatment and a shave will never be needed again. Most of our babies reach us with pubic growth too long for that to work, so this helps us prepare them and also lets them adapt to their new status before undergoing a treatment that would frighten them on day one." Miriam teased, "But please, do let us know if you'd like to experience that part of the process." Julie rapidly shook her head, causing everyone to laugh. "So," asked Alice, "is Ellie ready?" Sandy gave an uncertain nod, so Alice quickly checked, running her hand down from Ellie's waist. "Lovely and smooth, nice job Sandy." This caused blushes from Sandy and Ellie, but both kept quiet. Julie looked over to Miriam, who was pulling a plain white disposable from a shelf. "You'll need to get used to judging size," she said, "but this one will fit Ellie well. We always start with a plain white disposable, plastic backed, two tapes. As our babies progress we can use the infantile prints and some will get on better with a single tape or a paper back, but these have a sterile medical feel that helps with the initial acclimatisation." Miriam handed the diaper to Jane, and offered instructions on how to get it onto someone the size of Ellie. "Now obviously, you can't just lift the ankles and slide it underneath as you would a normal infant," she explained, "so open the diaper, flatten it out, put it beside her." Jane followed the instructions, then held up the leak guards and gave Miriam a quizzical look. "Are these to hold in solid waste?" she asked, her attempted professional tone unusually stilted. "They help with all emissions," informed Miriam, "pull them away from the inner padding and the diaper's design will move them into position as you fasten it. Now, I went through this with you earlier: Roll Ellie onto her side and move the diaper underneath her." Sandy and Julie rolled Ellie onto her side, and after Jane pushed the flat padded plastic into position rolled her back on top of it Jane smiled apologetically at Ellie, reached down between her legs and drew up the front of the diaper. As she reached for the tapes on the side she felt a touch on her hands as Alice stopped her. "I'll do this first one," Alice said, "It's not difficult but a couple of tricks can really help prevent leaks." Ellie lay there listening as the Alice gave a recap of the various options; waist then legs, legs first, should one side be completed before the other? Alice eventually fastened the diaper at the waist before pulling it tight at the leg. Julie interrupted the process. "Shouldn't we use powder?" she queried, "I thought diapers needed that." Alice smiled at her and finished taping the diaper closed at the legs. "Powder can help your baby smell nice, and is sometimes used to reinforce the sense of infantilisation," she explained, "but it's entirely unnecessary for healthy diaper use. Regular changes help avoid a rash and the various creams we have are far better treatments when needed. Powder just causes a mess and if the baby suffers from Asthma can be a serious problem for them. We try to avoid using it." As she finished speaking she patted Ellie on her now padded stomach and said, "There, all done." "Thank you Ellie," said Miriam, "we appreciate your patience. Ah, Daphne. How's Mia?" Daphne strode briskly into the room, carrying a wicker basket. "She's in the taxi, and I've got her a room by the airport. Her flight is early tomorrow," she said, "and she has my number in case of any difficulties." "Excellent, thank you," said Miriam, helping Daphne lift the basket onto one of the tables. "And superb timing too, we're just ready for these." The girls looked curiously across as Miriam opened the basket and lifted clothing out. Folded flat they could only tell colours, something white followed by a larger item in a pale blue. Miriam passed them to Sandy and asked, "Shall we dress baby Ellie?"

I have one more step to get to Norway for the month of June... the Norwegian embassy to get my VISA. Apparently it takes three weeks to process. So I go and hand in the hoards of papers today. I'm glad I checked the forms yesterday to find out which one I need to enter the building, because I noted the travel agent wrote the destination city incorrectly. So it's first a trip to the agency today to fix that, and then a taxi into town for a noon appointment. I hope this all works out, because it's far more than just going to see a concert (Hanson's Red Green Blue Tour) for me. It's the first time out of the country, first time north of the equator (I'll do the Bart Simpson and see if water goes down a plughole in the opposite direction), first time I'm seeing my favourite band live (seen many streamed shows), I'm staying with my sister and her wife, who is also my best friend. And its for a month!! So... Embassy is the last step. Wish me luck.

I don't think they make them with buttons anymore.

Part 12 Kristi sat in her cage, laying as comfortably as she could. She felt herself drooling a little– there wasn’t much she could do to stop that. All she could do was lay there, and stare. She had felt more angry than she ever had before. In return, she had never felt Gy feel so angry. So out of control, and it scarred her. She thought of how much simpler everything was before this: Just go to work, do her job, and no one bothered her. But now… Her feelings didn’t feel sharp anymore. They weren’t clean and neat with edges. They felt more like paints thrown on a palette, each one small, but together a confusing splatter. She couldn’t tell what she felt anymore. She just felt… Tired. Kristi winced as she heard a trickle, and felt her diaper warm beneath her. It was now quite soggy, and even more uncomfortable than usual. She rolled over, to find a more comfortable spot. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– It was warm, even in the afternoon. Kristi walked into bar. It was an Irish pub with surprisingly good food, that had become the default after-work hangout. She quickly found Stacy and Melanie. They were laughing. She slid herself into the booth next to Melanie. As Stacy seemed finished telling her story “...And so I’m standing there, in my Pajamas, and the mailman’s like ‘uh, can you sign for this?’” Oh my gosh honey, he looked so flustered.” Kristi started laughing as well. She hadn’t laughed in days. It felt almost strange. Stacy with her straight blond hair, and hoop silver earrings, looked over to Kristi. “Hey Kristi, how’s it going?” Kristi felt herself reflexively smile. “I’ve been good. I’m just happy the week’s over. I’ve been stressing out over the quarterly for weeks.” Both of them laughed. “I know the feeling. It always busy around this time…” “What about you guys? How’s it been? I feel like for working only 20 feet away from each other, I hardly ever get to talk to you.” Melanie leaning back to tie up her curly red hair into an unruly bun. “About the same. I’ve been good. I’m looking forward to our vacation in about a month.” “Speaking of” said Kristi, “I just schedule the Air Bnb for us. We should be all set to go. I really can’t wait to be up in the mountains. “–Or at least anywhere but here” added Stacy. Melanie stared away, over Kristi’s shoulder. “It’s too bad you’re not going to be able to come.” Kristi felt confused. “Why?” “Because you’ve been a bad girl Kristi, and bad girls don’t get to leave their cages.” She said it with such calm that Kristi just starred at her friend in shock. Both smiled back. They seemed to grow bigger, and she started realized Gy’s scent was growing stronger. “No, I’ve been good” Kristi felt a hand grab her collar. She didn’t realize she was wearing a collar. She opened her mouth to scream, but her chest felt like lead. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t make more than a low moan. She tried to fight, to wave to Stacy or Melanie to help, but no matter what she did, her friends sat there, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Melanie leaned forward, and when she spoke, it was with Gy’s voice. “You’ve been a very bad girl. You bit my partner. I don’t love you anymore. You’re going to be my pet for the rest of your life. I hope you enjoy your cage” As Kristi tried again to scream, she realized that her mouth was forced open, and she couldn’t move her tongue. As everything intensified, she gave all her breath to one last scream, but it was hardly louder than the first one. When she woke up, she was sweating. A little light came in from the window in the living room– Enough for her to see the faintest outline of the cage in front of her. It took a while for her breathing to return to normal. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Around the corner, Gy sat in the hallway, sitting against the wall with her knees against her chest. The moans, or the feeling of terror had woken her up, she couldn’t tell which. Gy guessed that going over to her wouldn’t help. Kristi jumped every time she’d woken her up. And after today…. Listening to the sounds Kristi was making in her sleep... Gy thought about what she had done to Kristi earlier. She had made her submit. She had to punish Kristi right? She had been so sure a few hours ago, but now? The feeling of crushing her, shaping her felt powerful, sweet and so wrong. She shouldn’t want to control Kristi. She didn’t want to control Kristi. But then why did it feel so good? She flinched as a louder moan came from Kristi’s cage. If this went on much longer she would go over anyway. Then she heard the cage slightly rattle, and Gy could hear Kristi breathing heavily. She sat there, waiting for the Kristi’s breathing to slow once more.

Five: Irked “You just missed her.” “Missed her? Missed who?” he asked, checking his watch. 9:30 - he wasn’t even that late today. “I don’t know who she was. Carey, I think? Said she was stopping in on her way to work.” “I don’t know who that is,” he said, scratching his head. “Carey?” Effie shrugged. “Well, she seemed to know you.” “Carey,” he said again. “I don’t know. What did she look like?” “Black? Cute hair? She looked way too cute to be someone you would’ve dated, so I just assume she’s your lawyer or accountant.” “Oh shit. Kiri.” “That might be it,” Effie said. “Yeah. Kiri.” “Well did she leave a phone number? A business card or something? Did she say she’d be coming back?” Effie shook her head. “None of that. I guess I could've asked her to leave a number. But, alas, I did not.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Did you empty that diaper pail in the back yet?” -- “I’m not just saying this to get into your pants, but your pancakes yesterday were much better than this souffle is.” Harper smiled, lackadaisically letting her spoon orbit her cup of tea. “Complimenting my cooking does tend to earn one an invitation into my pants. Not that you need one.” It had been a while since Harper felt this way. This all-consuming excitement towards one person. It had been years since she felt that way about Layne, and probably even longer since the time before that. Syd smiled, cutting into the cafe’s overly-flaky souffle to harness another piece for herself. They looked as content as Harper felt. Or so she hoped. There was a little error message elsewhere in her mind - it hadn’t quite made its way to the forefront yet, though Harper was aware of it. It was a reminder that she was going to have to talk to Layne about this. In her wildest fantasies, they weren’t a seperated couple - they were best friends who could support each other through whatever came next. Even if that meant heading in different directions. Such wild fantasies. “Alright,” Syd said, swallowing the bite of her breakfast. “We’re going to have to do it.” “Do it? Do what?” “We need to address the elephant in the cafe. The one that follows you around whenever we’re together?” Harper sighed. “Yeah?” “Layne owns a store that sells adult diapers?” “You know, it hardly seems fair,” Harper said. “It’s his store and his dream. But I’m the one feeling embarrassed about it when I have to talk about it.” Syd did their best not to laugh, offering a sympathetic grimace of some sort instead. “I don’t know,” Harper said. “I try not to let it bother me.” “I think it’s...interesting,” Syd said. “Interesting. Better than you thinking it’s disgusting.” “No. Gosh, no. It’s, uh, intriguing.” “Interesting and intriguing?” Syd laughed, running their fingers through their hair. It was something they did often. Harper suspected it was some sort of coping mechanism. If she paid more attention, she wondered if she could read Syd’s mind. Did the fingers in the hair mean they were nervous? Anxious? Gassy? “I want to say I’m curious without saying that I want to put a diaper on,” Syd said. “There, you just did it,” she replied with a smile. “But I might be able to help with curious. If you have questions.” “I know you said you had been called ‘Mommy’ before. But are you into...all that? Diapers and what-not?” Harper laughed, somehow unprepared for that specific question. She rolled her tongue around in her mouth for a moment, considering the best answer. “I think there was a time when it was something that I found pretty exciting.” “We do weird things for the people we love,” Syd said with a shrug. “I guess that’s a funny thing,” Harper said. “Because I was the one who brought diapers to the table originally.” “Oh?” Their eyes lit up and they slid forward on their chair a little further to be closer. “I didn’t see that coming.” “It was kind of new to me, too,” Harper said. “I’m not sure where the original idea came from, honestly. Maybe I saw it on TV, or online. Maybe I just saw a pack of diapers one day and my mind wandered. But it had been a curiosity of mine for a while. And so I tossed it out there to see if Layne was interested. He was. And it was really good for us for a long time.” “And he loved it so much he decided to sell diapers?” “That’s the very short version of that story, yeah. It just took over our life. It wasn’t a secret little thing to come home to anymore. The food on the table and our mortgage depended on diapers. We had crates of diapers sitting all over the house. I was spending hours every day talking to people on the phone who made bespoke adult-sized pacifiers. It very quickly stopped being something that we could enjoy. And, once that was off the table - and he became consumed by the store - we didn’t really have that much left.” Syd offered a solemn and sympathetic nod. “Do you miss it?” “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to seperate it from the business. If I’m being honest? I wish I could. Because then I’d probably miss it.” “I don’t want to make things weird,” Syd said. “But, maybe, I am...a little curious.” Harper’s eyebrows raised. “Curious?” Syd sighed and nodded. “You know, not for today. Or tomorrow. Just...somewhere down the line. If that was something that came up… I don’t know, maybe that’d be fun? I’m just saying.” She tried to play it cool. She nodded slowly before sipping her tea. But inside? She was dancing. That excited feeling that Syd gave her seemed more intense than ever. For the first time in years, the word ‘diaper’ didn’t feel like an immensely heavy word associated with finances and time spent apart. “Well, you know,” Harper finally said, “if we ever decide to try something like that out. I know a guy who can hook us up.” -- He had never been inside of The Schoolhouse before. He knew of it. He got the jist of it, but it just didn’t seem like his scene. A ‘gastropub,’ whatever that was. Expensive bar food, expensive craft beer, and an environment that looked like it was built to replicate a rich man’s fantasy of what a dive bar looked like. He was on time - maybe the first time he was on time for anything since the days his mother drove him to elementary school. By that virtue alone, he thought, Grace should raise the white flag and spare him an expensive lunch. “Mr. Stanlan, you absolutely irk me in a way that very few people ever have before.” That was just her opening statement as they were seated at a table together. “I don’t have quite that level of disdain for you yet, Ms. Vanderhoof, but maybe we’ll give it some time and see what happens.” She shook her head as she laughed - a contentious laugh if there ever was one. “It’s Vanderhoeffen, actually.” “Are you married, Ms. Vander...uh… Grace?” “No,” she said. “Why? Were you hoping you could work in a joke or two about me not being married? Or the kind of man I’d marry?” “I was just curious,” he said. He paused for a moment before adding: “Actually, I guess I was curious to know what kind of man would’ve married you. No offense. That’s genuine curiosity. Science.” “Believe it or not, I’m not a full-time activist,” she said, playing with the silverware laid out before her. “I’m a social worker. The hours are often...unforgiving. And it leaves me with little patience for my fellow man.” “That sounds like an excuse,” he said. “You’re capable of love, right?” She scoffed. “Your wedding band would suggest that you are married, yes?” she asked. “What kind of woman marries a peddler of adult diapers?” He was tempted to take a little offense to her question, but it was essentially the same question he would’ve asked her. He was tempted to correct her and tell her that he was separated. That didn’t seem like an especially good commentary on his character, though. Not to mention the meta-psychology one could dip their toe into regarding his insistence on wearing a wedding band while he was separated. He shrugged. “People make bombs, right? Nobody likes bombs. Nobody thinks bombs are a good idea. If I was to ask anyone on the street if bombs should be outlawed, they’d probably be, like, ‘Yeah, fuck bombs.’ But there’s still people who have to make them. And those people have spouses. I assume.” “Is this part of your argument?” she asked. “The argument to get me to drop my complaint with the city council?” “I haven’t even gotten there yet.” The menus arrived, and a few minutes of careful food contemplation followed. Layne had wondered if this was part of her game. Were there more ‘powerful’ lunch options? Did he establish more assertiveness if he ate, say, the short-rib grilled cheese instead of the fuji apple salad? Maybe it was the other way around. Ultimately he went with the blackened chicken thigh sandwich. By his quick guestimation, it was smack in the middle on the scale of weakness-signaling and strength-signaling option. She ordered the fried plantain entree - which he couldn’t place on his scale at all. “So,” he finally said, after the menus were taken away. “I annoy you?” She sighed. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have led with that.” “We’ve talked all of twice. For probably less than 10 minutes total. I can’t possibly bother you that much.” “I’ll tell you what it is,” she said, finger wagging in his direction. “It’s the fact that you came to me. You came to my meeting. You were late - but you bothered to learn where and when it was and then you showed up. I guess I wasn’t expecting that.” “What were you expecting?” “Complete indifference, I suppose. Or an angry and bitter argument - whether it was in person or in front of city council. But you’re neither of those. You...want to reason. Talk about it.” “It just makes sense,” he said. “Doesn’t it?” “It’s a lot easier when you’re angry. Or yelling at me. Or if I didn’t see you at all. But you had the audacity to show up to my meeting and…care. Right? That’s what you said. You said that you wanted to know what the concerns were?” “So you’re annoyed because I care?” “I’m annoyed with you because I wish we were on the same side. I...don’t dislike you as a person.” “You just dislike my store? You dislike me as a…'peddler of adult diapers?’” “Yes, that about sums it up,” she said. He laughed. It was the most human she had ever looked. She might not have been a complete stuck-up, no-nonsense, joykill. Partially. But not completely. “Is there anything worse than finding out your enemy is friendly?” he asked. “It’s the absolute worst.” “Do you think I’d be able to convince you to drop this drama and leave my store alone?” “No,” she said. “I doubt it.” “Alright,” he said with a shrug. “But, I will say this: At your meeting yesterday, I overheard you say that your group was ‘providing the facts,’ yes?” “Yes.” “I’d argue that you don’t actually have ‘the facts.’ You have assumptions and preconceived notions of what my store does and what it represents. Tomato, tom-ah-to, you might say. I don’t know. You’re a social worker, right? And I’m sure you’ve never once taken action on case without doing all your research.” “Are you suggesting I research...diapers?” He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I am.” “You irk me, Mr. Stanlan.” She was smiling. -- The boxes were taped up and registered to be shipped off. She swept the floor in the stockroom and salesfloor. And she had even found some thick yellow rubber gloves under the bathroom sink that she used to carry the Nursery trash can out to the dumpster to throw out Layne’s overnight surprise. And she still had an entire afternoon to kill. This was how bored she was: Effie had begun looking up local ordinances for businesses, looking for rulings and loopholes that either Grace Vanderhoeffen would use against Layne, or that Layne could use to his advantage. She was far from a lawyer - most of the documents she found online were coded in addendums, footnotes and references to other documents that she didn’t know where to begin in looking for them. But something had jumped out at her amidst her research. The names of the members on the city council. Seven councilmen and women - all of them with dreadfully old sounding names. Evely. Lawrence. Hillary. And then there was Hamish Bellencourt. It seemed way too good to be true. But was she really supposed to believe that there was not just one man in this town named Hamish, but that there were two? She quickly searched for the councilman’s name, and found his picture. He had a slightly different appearance when he was wearing a suit and tie - but make no mistake, this was Baby Hammy. For a moment, she contemplated calling Layne to let him know the good news. She stopped himself from calling, though. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Layne to do something good with this information, she just… Actually, that might have been exactly what it was. Besides, she already had an in with the councilman’s ‘mommy.’ She looked up Margaret and Hamish’s recent transaction in the system, and used that to pull up the account. Under her name - of course it was. Margaret McCrea; not a Bellencourt. Further online investigation would yield that there was a Mrs. Madeline Bellencourt. Poor Mrs. Councilwoman - she probably had no idea that her husband was such a big baby. The phone rang three times and the familiar voice of Margaret answered. “Good afternoon.” “Good afternoon, Ms. McCrea. Sorry to bother you. This is Effie from…” she was almost afraid to say the name. She imagined Ms. McCrea driving a car filled with nuns for some reason - her phone playing through the car’s audio system. “...Bottoms Up?” “Oh. Bottoms Up. And you must be the young woman who helped us pick out our diapers the other day.” “Yes, Ma’am.” “I’ll be quite frank with you, dear, I didn’t think you were going to call me like I asked. Especially not so soon.” “I’m surprised, myself.” “And so what can I aid you with, Miss…” “My name is Effie.” “That’s a pretty name. Is that short for something?” “Not to my knowledge. Actually, Ms. McCrea…” “You may call me Margaret. For now.” Those last two words were saturated with implication. “Margaret. I was actually hoping to get in contact with your, uhm, friend? Your...baby? Hamish?” “Ah yes, little Baby Hammy. Quite the character, he is. While he’s with me, he’s mine. But...he’s a rather important baby. I’m not sure if you knew this or not.” Effie winced a little. She did, in fact, know this. “That’s what makes it difficult to reach out to you now,” she said. “Because I’m sure you were hoping that I’d call for the sake of some sort of...playtime. But, see, there’s this group who is trying to damage our business by going to the city council and…” “Ah,” Margaret said, chuckling softly into the phone. “A political favor. Would you believe I am already aware of this little situation?” “I would.” “Baby Hammy told me all about it. It’s quite the pickle for him, really. He’d love to defend your store - and as a councilman, he’d have a lot of sway. But at the same time...it may not look good for him to defend a store like that. Even if he is a customer himself.” “Do you think he’s open to a, like, conversation or something? Maybe myself or my boss could…” “Miss Effie, Baby Hammy is completely under my spell. As are most of my babies. He’ll do as I ask. Or, at least he will if he wants his dirty diapers changed. And I assure you, he is almost always in need of a change while he’s in my care.” “So...you’re saying that you’d talk to him?” “For you, darling? Most assuredly.” “Oh my gosh, thank you. That really means a lot to me. And, probably, my boss too, because…” “But…” Effie drew in a sudden breath. “But?” “You may think me cruel for saying this, but...nothing comes for free.” Effie winced again. Her heart beat faster and her stomach tied in a knot. Given enough time, she probably could’ve put together a shortlist of ideas Margaret might have had. She just needed to rip the bandage off: “Alright. What’s the cost?” “It’s actually a very fair offer,” Margaret said. “Not only would you get me in Hammy’s ear, but you’d be getting some hands-on experience with your own merchandise.” Effie could’ve guessed as much. “Come spend some time with me. I’ll make you into a perfect little baby. And when we’re done? I’ll make sure the councilman has your store’s back.” “Okay,” Effie said, slightly surrendered. Slightly curious. “We have a deal.”

Three packages of diapers, all unique, all suggested by Amazon. Included in this purchase are the Cotton Candy scented diapers. I can't wait to smell those.

I skipped over all of this pretty quickly so I may have missed something obvious... There is a mission where you infiltrate a place. When you hack the computer you can read their messages and you have one person talking about needing a "caregiver" stat. At first I thought it was just them saying they needed a "problem taken care of" but then they also mentioned needing a change of pants immediately. Could still be someone who has just killed and needs the scene cleared up right? Well... When I was killing the people in this compound one of them had an item on them that I haven't seen anywhere else... A pacifier. Like I said, I clicked through it all pretty quickly but could definitely see it being deliberately open to interpretation Also, how good would an ABDL brain dance be!? ?

My job is always on the go and on the move. I don't even get time to change my diapers when I am at work. It's why I have to boost my diapers when I am going to work. Even the commute to work, I have to have my diapers boosted because I don't know if many places have bathrooms that are clean and safe for a diaper change. It's why at work, my diapers are kept boosted. I still bring a portable diaper changing pad that has a spare diaper, booster and some wipes to keep clean. At home or around the neighborhood, it's just normal for me to be without a booster and I am in just a diaper and T-shirt, onesie or t-shirt dress on.

@BabySpiderBoy If @Kawaharu is wearing a megamax, and she is BOOSTING with her pads, the reason to do that is so that the diaper lasts longer. The advantage to this is, as long as the diaper is not SOPPING wet, or really MESSY, the diaper should last MORE than 8 hours - I assume that her job keeps her moving, so she is not going to be able to change herself as often If she does NOT boost, well, it may not be pretty - I have had it happen to me where I have had a change that is NOT pretty - when you have to wear for incontinence, you have to be PREPARED for anything, so if you have to go out for many hours or if you have to be away from home, or are staying in a place with friends or family, or a hotel, you may have to add a chair pad to make sure you wont wet the furniture if you are sitting or laying down on something. Brian

They do and when I get home from work, they are so soaked and my legs are so spread open that I often waddle my diaper butt in the house and to the showers for a diaper change and clean up.

I always go to my doctors appointments diapered and its usually a Tykables little Rawrs or MegaMax diapers. When they do a diaper check, they would untape them and afterwards retape them. If they leak, the Nurse would help me with the diaper change. Many times, the nurses would comment on how cute my diapers look and ask me what kind of diapers are those.

It’s been a week since Christmas and our celebration came to an end. It’s also been a week since I’ve seen anyone. The morning after my fun with Franz, I went back to Amelia’s… Well, my apartment and began redecorating. Not before sending a message out that I’d need some ‘alone time’. Speaking of the apartment, it looks a bit different to say the least. Kept the bed, even upsized it to maximize lounge-ability. Most beds from my dimension are but a stone slab or pile of hay compared to this slice of heaven. That aside, you could call what I’m doing a sabbatical. An introspection. Rolling around the bed. Staring at the sky. Thinking. Remembering. Hurting. I’m carrying too much baggage. And I’ve not once done a proper inventory on myself. My heart shatters into a million pieces. Glue it back together weaker than before and forge ahead to the next heartbreak. The cycle I’ve repeated time and time again. It’s piled up. The negativity. The scars. The curses. What about your friends? Shouldn’t you bring this up with them? They’d hear you out and talk through it all. Right? I had these thoughts. They would, certainly. They did and had these past few months. Without a doubt I’ve grown and become a slightly better version of me, thanks to them. But I don’t want to burden them. I don’t want to be the constant downer. I don’t want to saddle them with all that I carry. If it’s too heavy for me, what chance do they have? The hardest part must be done on my own. “Hey Witch, open up!” Seems my self-imposed isolation is coming to an end. As Gale’s boisterous knocking reverberates through the room, almost overshadowing her muffled voice. Fine by me, this is clearly something I’d have to return to later anyway. One can only take so much of oneself. It’s been a while since I’ve given a tour of the old place… That might be fun. Pick the old spirits back up again. From the bed I open the door. The room heeds my command. ~~~ We now stand outside Witch’s apartment door; continuing the argument that started when we left the gathering of Amazonian socialites. Amelia supposes that ‘standing’ isn’t the proper word for both of us. Currently she rests in the crook of Gale’s arm. Walking in these Crawler brand diapers is absurd, she would never have made it to the apartment if not for Gale’s help! And this position is quite comfortable… Speaking of comfort, Amelia being able to refer to herself with ‘she’ brings forth a nice and warm feeling. Using Witch’s teachings and help, Amelia had made some progress on modifying her brain. Of course, one of the first things she’d asked her magical friend about was fixing her speech pattern. Unfortunately, healing magic wouldn’t get the trick done. The mental conditioning she hadn’t been able to remove had more or less become integrated into her body’s new baseline over the years. Our fleshy bodies and especially our minds may be fragile, but they are great at adapting to new circumstances… So, if healing couldn’t do it, she’d have to rewire herself with magic. And already she can think about herself in a few different tenses and pronouns aside from third person. Sadly, these words still elude her verbal vocabulary. But that day will come, Amelia is dedicated to fixing herself! Someday, she’ll be able to think of herself in that glorious, beautiful, and sweet first person singular… God willing, Amelia will speak it too… “Are you sure we should bother her? She sounded pretty serious when she beamed or uh… Magic’d that message into our heads.” Ah yes, back to the argument. Amelia sighs. Internally and externally. The thoughts of her own progress vanishing to the far recesses of her mind. “It’s been a week. We should check up on her. Also, she should know about what we heard at today’s gathering.” At least that seems to pacify Gale somewhat. Amelia swears, Gale sometimes chooses the oddest hills to die on. “Hey Witch, open up!” With her free hand, the one not holding Amelia, Gale loudly hammers away on the door. Surely drawing irritation from the other littles in the neighboring apartments. The door opens, seemingly by itself. At least, Witch is nowhere to be seen. “Hm, she hasn’t changed the place around too much.” Gale nods in agreement. The living room looks exactly as Amelia had left it. Amelia’s trusty steed moves onward, bending slightly to avoid being clotheslined by the ceiling. Passing the threshold of the door, Gale stumbles slightly. Overcome by a feeling of vertigo, one shared by Amelia as well. Our senses return to us shortly after. Revealing us to be in an unexpected space. Rather than the apartment left to Witch, it appears we’d been transported to a cave. All things considering, a well-lit one at that. The cave’s ceiling has a large circular hole in it. From which soft light from an otherworldly sky pours in. Dead center of the room is Witch herself. Laying on a large bed, with her long hair and limbs splayed out. Wearing her usual leather armor, lengthy black skirt, and cloak. It appears we’d interrupted her staring off into the distant sky. Amelia is confused no doubt. This space was and is completely unexpected. But still, overriding that is a small pang of irritation at Witch refusing to wear anything different. What is she, a character from one of those lame Amazonian sitcoms!? Also recovering from the strange sight, Gale initiates conversation. “Heyyyy… We were in the neighborhood, and we thought we’d stop by and see how you were doing… Though this was Amelia’s idea by the way.” “You’re going to throw Amelia under the bus so quickly!?” Unbelievable. Though coming from Gale with that awful… And attractive… Sneaky grin, it’s very believable. “I’m doing well, just finishing up on some redecorating.” “About that… Amelia is concerned about getting the deposit back at this rate…” “The door is just connected to this space of mine. Anyone entering without permission will find themselves in the actual apartment. So don’t worry.” An internal sigh of relief. Witch’s grasp of common sense can be a little off. Her reassurance in this case means the world to Amelia. Perhaps sensing Amelia’s feelings, Witch gives a mischievous look. “Though if you really want, I could replace the room…” “Are you trying to give Amelia an aneurism?” The ancient girl laughs and hops out of her bed. Seeming livelier than when we’d initially arrived. The sullen and thoughtful look on her face dispersed with a smile. “Well, you two went to the trouble of coming… So how about a tour?” Walking in our direction, Witch stretches her body out. In response, Amelia and Gale look around the space. Aside from the bed and skylight, the wide cavern we’re in contains a spring originating from a crack in the cave’s wall. It pools into a glittering pond on our right. Plants and flowers soaking up the dim light’s rays litter the ground between stone paths laid out in the room. To the left, near the walls where it is less lit, there is a desk and chair. Amelia can barely make out the large pile of books atop it. And littered along the cave walls, doors and hallways branch off. Amelia assumes these halls will be the focus of the tour. “I’m down. But before you and Amelia start getting caught up on the magic talk, I have to know one thing. Will we see treasure… Will there be weapons!?” “Yeah, there’s rooms for that. Of course.” Gale pumps her fist in visible excitement. The prospect of other dimension treasure and weaponry peaking the Amazon’s interest. Amelia would make fun of her girlfriend for that… But she feels the same way about magic… “Can you put Amelia down?” “Are you sure you can walk in that? We probably should’ve stopped home and changed into our regular clothes.” Gale asks in response. Giving an emphatical pat and squeeze on Amelia’s heavily padded bottom. Amelia did not need that… Amelia is very much aware of what she is wearing! “Amelia will manage! Just stop that!” Cheeks burning, Amelia is finally set down. Squeezing her legs together, attempting to bend the thick and slightly sodden plastic to conform to her gait. “Children, children, let’s get going on the tour!” “I’d say one of us is dressed a bit more childish than the other right now…” “Grrrr...” An angry and not at all menacing growl is all Amelia can muster at Gale’s teasing. Looking serious for a moment, Witch interrupts the banter. “Also, this is important. Stick close. This space is under my control but it and some of the objects here can have… Some quirks about them.” While going over what seems to be the only rule, Witch walks backwards down a stone path. Heading towards one of the shadowy hallways on our left. The hallway closest to the desk. She moves like someone used to giving professional tours. Though her stretching continues. It’s been a week but Amelia cannot recall Witch bending and twisting herself so much. Drifting closer to the cavern walls, it becomes apparent that they’re painted. Various portraits and sceneries litter the wall. Each piece carrying its own distinctive artistic style. No time to dwell on that, however. As we pass into the hallway torches flicker to life. Illuminating our path as we continue. “To your left and right you’ll see a wide variety of armor. Chain, plate, leather; you name it. I got it.” She just might too. On either side of us, a vast array of wooden mannequins dressed in armor are set into the wall. The two of us look in awe at the collection. Some of the pieces even give off magic detectable by Amelia. Bending her torso back and forth an audible pop comes from their guide. Soon followed with a relieved sigh. “You’re stretching an awful lot; did you sleep wrong?” While inspecting a simple leather armor, Gale poses this question to Witch. Amelia can’t say that she isn’t wondering herself. “Ah… Heheh… Well, when you lay down for a week it feels good to stretch out.” “You didn’t get off that bed for a week!? Amelia doesn’t believe you.” While sheepishly rubbing her head, Witch nods as if confirming her own statement. “Once I laid and slept on the cavern floor for the better part of a century. Now that I have the bed, imagine by how much I could break that record!” Gale looks incredulously at our friend as well. “What? Why?” “Wasn’t really feeling it. I was in a particularly bad funk, and time just sort of flew by.” “Amelia’s been there… Erm, perhaps in a more time scaled fashion though.” It’s understandable. Most everyone feels the need to just lay down and let the world go by sometimes. After Amelia was saved by Gale, she didn’t want to leave the bed for a while. “Up ahead should be some treasure and weaponry you’re so excited about, Gale. Once we get past the armor.” Switching topics, Witch points behind herself. An eager Gale stops inspecting the armor that had caught her eye and shuffles forward at a brisk pace. “Well, if you insist. I guess we could take a peek…” “No touching, Gale!” Amelia’s admonishment goes unheard as Gale is already leagues ahead of us. Witch turns around and picks up her pace as well to keep up with the Amazon. … ...! Despite her best effort, Amelia can’t keep up. The diaper around Amelia’s waist hampers all progress. An unwieldy waddle is the best she can manage! “H-Hey, wait up for Amelia!” Despite seeming in range of Witch at least, her friend shows no sign of hearing. Instead, Amelia loses sight as she disappears around a corner. Bringing forth a burst of speed despite the garment around her waist, Amelia hurries to the corner and… “Oh no…” A dark and empty hallway greets her. Chapter 21: Apartment Tour _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Once again I return bearing a new chapter. This time taking significantly less time to write with the increase in my available writing time. If it wasn't clear enough in the introduction, this chapter resumes about where the Christmas Extra left off. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter, and I thank you once again for continuing to follow and comment on the story. Everyone's words and readership is greatly appreciated. See you soon with more.

I boost my diapers when I have to go to work and when I am gona be away from the house. At home I don't even boost my diapers

Part 14 Gy woke up with a start. She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep on the floor. It was bright enough to see easily, and birds were already starting to chirp outside. She stood up, and looked around the corner. Kristy was curled in a ball with her swollen diaper facing out. She’d need a change soon. Gy yawned, and stood up, and walked over to the cage to take Kristy’s empty dog bowl, and her used spoon. She went around the corner to the Kitchen, getting out a fresh bowl, and filling it with dogfood. She put a spoon in it, and brought back. As she walked in the second time, Kristi seemed to move around enough to be awake. Gy figured she’d be awake enough to change her right now, and then she’d shower. From the right of the cage she grabbed a new diaper; this one white with brown horses, and a pack of wipes. She reached in carefully to tap Kristi’s legs, and start to move her out of the cage a little bit. She was used to Kristi starting when she touched her. But when Gy touched her, nothing happened. Worried, Gy leaned over to see her face. Her breathings was normal, but her eyes looked dull. Staring far, far into the ceiling. “Good morning Kristi” Nothing. “I’m going to change you now.” Still nothing. No recognition that she had said anything. Gy felt increasingly nervous during the change. She wiped her down, and put on the new diaper, balling up the old one. Kriti’s body was easy enough to manipulate, but it was like she wasn’t there. “Kristi, we’re going to an appointment to get you some help today” Gy saw her slowly move her head to stare at her, and then her gaze returned empty to the ceiling. “I’m going to go shower, and then we’ll head out. Let me take out your gag so that you can eat.” Gy climbed partway into the cage, and had to lift Krist’s had to undo the straps. As she tugged it out, Kristi just seemed limp. She didn’t even both to lick her lips, even though they looked chapped. Gy stared, trying not to look as afraid as she felt. “I’ll be back in about 20 minutes.” She stood up and headed back to her bedroom. When she had finished showering, and dressed, she grabbed a bar from the Kitchen, along with Kristi’s Leash, and went back to the living room. Kristi had rotated, and was now starring into the living room. She looked over at the untouched food bowl. “Hey. I notice that you haven’t touched your food. What’s up?’ Gy instinctively ran down the mental checklist for conflict deescalation. Soft voice, check. Posture facing away from the person, check. Little eye contact, check. Kristi barley moved to look at her. “Not hungry.” Gy paused. Kristi was usually hungry enough in the mornings that she struggled to wait until after her diaper was changed to eat. Gy thought about making her eat. As the thought occurred to her, she remembered what it had felt like in the back of the car to make Kristi submit. It had felt good. Gy shuddered a bit at the memory– She didn’t think it should feel good. But Kristi needed to eat… “OK.” Said Gy “If you’re sure. We’re headed out today, so I need to put your leash on you. Can you be a good girl for me?” Gy felt the surge of hatred more than she could see it. Kristi’s mouth stiffened, but said nothing. Gy knelt down, and gingerly clipped the leash onto her collar, really hoping that Pet therapy was going to help as much as Amanda thought. She’d been a therapist for several years and never heard of it, and that didn’t bode well… Getting Kristi into the car was largely uneventful, and they were soon driving down the highway with a long silence between them. Part 15 Gy had expected an office building, or something in a strip mall. It was 45 minutes away, and a small house next to a field and a forest with a hiking path going into it. She had checked the address twice, and had only been convinced that she was at the right place by a small sign that read “Chris and James, MCS” Gy parked the and went to the back of the car to let Kristy out. She climbed out of the car without much prompting, but still had something of the dead look in her eyes. Gy led her to the door, and knocked loudly. She could hear something on the other side, like a table being knocked over. “Come in!” She heard the yell muffled by the door, and she hesitantly opened the door, and stepped into a tile entryway. To her left was a carpeted room, lined with bookshelves, with a large desk and several chairs near the entrance. To her right was utter chaos. She saw a flash of brown hair, as something hid behind a couch. A skinny man in a blue suit jacket, and sandy tight curls was running over to the couch. He stopped to give her a small wave. “Welcome, so good to see you– James, we have guests.” “I think that just means you need to catch me faster.” The thin man in the blue suit sighed for as second before a sloppy smile filled his face. “So I guess I’m in a rush eh?” He dived behind the couch. James ran out on the other side, cutting such a quick right that the coffee table by the couch, breaking for a group of chairs opposite the couch. Chris was right behind him, and took a dive, just barly catching James’ legs, pulling them in, as Chris broke down laughing. Seeing this James, joining the laughter, changed course. Rolling over, he pulled himself, close, grabbing Chris, and rolling over, so that they both tangled in ball. “James– No! Your butt’s so stinky!” Chris protested, trying to top lauging as James pressed them together. “And who’s fault is that? It’s not my job to change my diapers.” Their banter continued as they rolled around until they both lay side by side, panting. Chris lay panting for another long second, before slowly getting up. “Sorry about the delay. I think I’ve worn him out.” “–Not even close” came the reply from behind him. Gy stood there frozen. This introduction didn't exactly to instill her with confidence. “No worries, take you’re time.” “I’ve got to change James, and then we’ll start.” It was Kristy’s turn to stare, as James just laid there as Chis changed him in front of… everyone. She looked on mortified as their banter continued through the change, and James seemed utterly unbothered that he was naked in front of two strangers. When James was changed, Chris clipped a collar on him, and he didn’t even seem to notice. They came over, and Chris formally introduced them both. “Gy and, Kristy was it? This is James, and I’m Chris. How are you doing today?” “Uh.. pretty good. Kristy?” Kristy shrugged, and mumbled something. Chris and James both watched with interest, exchanging a glance, before Chris looked back. “Alright. How about we stay inside, and let the pets take the outside.” Gy looked confused “I thought that you were going to work with Kristy.” Chris looked at her, a little puzzled. “I take it they didn’t really explain this. James and I both work as therapist partners. We tend to take clients as a team.” James looked hesitantly at Gy. “Is that OK?” Gy looked even more uncomfortable being asked by James. “Ok..” “Perfect, Kristy I’m going to leash you to James, Alright?” Kristy wanted to pull back, but Chris was quick, latching the silver hook to her collar, and detaching Gy’s leash. Without hesitating, Chris stepped past her, and opened up the front door. “Alrighty, Pets outside.” Kristy felt the leash tug at her neck, as James moved past her, pulling her along. She reluctantly followed, and heard the door close behind her.

Well tonight was the night! I did it. I brought it back up. Out of the blue I asked her if she remembered that kink I told her about a while back. She said she remembered. I apologized for taking so long to tell her again. Then I asked if she’d be ok if I ever wanted to wear a diaper around her. She said yes without hesitation. She said she is all for it if it will make me happy. She said she’s never tried anything kinky before, but she’s ok with trying it. Not sure exactly what she meant she was willing to try or how much participation there will be on her part. But I’m happy! Already planning what diapers I am going to order now

My record is a little over 2 week no potty at all. I used my diaper for everything

Chapter 3 Briana wiggled in bed the following morning. She tried to put off inspecting her pullup, but it was no use. She could already feel the swollen padding between her legs. Worst night yet; the pullup had barely been able to catch it all. She sat up and frowned at the floor. Going directly to see Veronica didn’t seem as reasonable as it had been yesterday. She had gone to bed in a cute blue pajama set, so modesty wasn’t too big a problem. Or rather it wasn’t a problem other than for the pullup. “I have to get this solved.” Briana thought as the pullup squished clammy and damp around her crotch. “Veronica doesn’t have to do this for me, I should do whatever makes it easiest for her.” She slipped out of her room and took in the buzz of her roommates downstairs. As usual, she was the last to rise. Knocking lightly on Veronica’s door didn’t get a response. The prospect of standing in the hall in a soggy pullup gave her the courage to enter without permission. Veronica wasn’t in her office, but there was a note. Briana – If you’re here and I’m not, I’m down at breakfast. Please text me and I’ll come right up so you don’t have to come downstairs. Minutes after texting, Veronica arrived with Erin in tow. “Good morning Briana.” She said. “I thought it was going to be the two of us.” Briana said. “If you don’t mind I was going to take your vitals.” Erin said. “That way if anything is way off we can do something about it, or at least research.” “Oh, okay.” Briana sat at Erin’s direction, wiggling a bit as the soggy pullup made its presence known again. Erin was quick and professional, taking down notes as she measured Briana’s blood pressure, heart rate, and listened to her lungs. So much so that she dropped her pajama bottoms to her ankles when Erin asked without thinking about it. “This looks pretty full.” Erin said, gently prodding Briana’s pullup. “Has it been like this every morning?” Briana flinched back. “Uh, no, not every morning. I didn’t have the problem at all on Monday. And this is um, I guess the most it’s been so far.” “Thanks.” Erin smiled. “That’s all I need right now. I’ll come check each morning and see if there’s a pattern.” “Oh uh…” Briana began. “In that case it’s my turn. Go ahead and sit back down.” Veronica said. “Please leave your pajamas as they are.” She waved briefly to Erin as the other woman left. “Why?” Briana hesitated, reluctantly taking a seat before Veronica answered. “My initial guess is that there’s a lot going on for you subconsciously that’s causing this.” Veronica said. “I want to pull the issue into your conscious so that we can examine it and fix it.” Briana licked her lips and fidgeted.. She felt weird, embarrassed and uncomfortable. There was more too, a nervous, guilty feeling. The pullup was very distracting, the sensation of it kept intruding on her thoughts. “Is this something that’s been a problem for you before?” Veronica asked. “No, not since I was really little.” Briana sighed. “It happened all of a sudden, and it’s getting worse really fast.” “When would you say it started? When was the first time you were incontinent at night?” Briana blushed at the word ‘incontinent’. “Uh, three weeks ago.” “What was going on for you around that time?” “I had a really bad day the day before. My advisor lost his grant, and I’d been out of a job for a while. I tried participating in a paid study, but the payout was really bad. The day after they paid me I woke up uh, you know.” “You don’t have any contact with your family, correct?” “Yeah. I uh, don’t have anyone to rely on.” Briana looked down. “I want to thank you for helping me out. I know I’m not contributing right now, but so far nothing I’ve applied for is getting back to me.” “Of course, of course.” Veronica smiled kindly. “The picture that I’m seeing is that you have a lot of stress about your situation. Would you say you’re feeling financial, housing, maybe even food insecurity?” “Yes.” Briana said in a small voice. “I don’t know how long you can keep helping me but obviously not forever. I don’t have any alternatives right now.” “Well first, please, don’t worry about accepting my help, and the help of the rest of us in the house.” Veronica leaned over and squeezed Briana’s arm. “My situation is that I’m very lucky financially and it’s not a problem for me to help you out. I want to try to reduce your stress in that area.” “Thank you.” Briana smiled sadly. There was some relief from hearing that, but more guilt piled on too. “Stress can do terrible things to a body.” Veronica said. “Temporary incontinence is actually a mild consequence for extreme stress, though I’m sure it doesn’t feel mild to you.” “That makes sense,” Briana said, more to convince herself than because she believed it. She shifted in the chair, winced as she felt wetness on the seat. The pullup really was at its limit, her squirming was making it leak. “I want to reduce your stress, especially before you get more, nastier symptoms.” Veronica said. “I think the biggest problem is the lack of a support network. Most people have a family to turn to, and you don’t have that right now. We aren’t the same thing as family, but the rest of us in the house are willing to help you. Will you let us be your support system?” “You already are.” Briana said. “Everyone has been really nice, and supportive.” “In a friend way.” Veronica said. “We can support you more, but it means a greater intrusion into your life. The level of support and interference that a family would have.” “I can’t ask that of you.” Briana said. “Everybody has their own life to live, stuff going on. We’re all busy with grad school, and everyone but me has a job on top of that.” “That’s why it would be spread out over the five of us.” Veronica said. “We can all pick an area of your life to help support you. That way, it’s not too much for anyone. If it does become a problem, I’ll make sure that we all feel comfortable talking about that.” “I don’t really understand. What do you mean ‘pick an area of my life’?” Briana frowned. “I’m doing okay other than the job. I’m getting my schoolwork done, I made it this far.” “Of course.” Veronica nodded. “I’ve always been really impressed by you. You got through undergraduate with no support at all, and from what you’ve told me, that was pretty much true of high school too. You’ve done a tremendous job with no one to lean on. But when I look at you the last few weeks, you’re exhausted. Emotionally, physically.” Briana hung her head, tears dripping onto her thighs. “You need someone to lean on, for a little while.” Veronica said. “Isn’t that right?” Briana could only manage to nod while she held back a sob. Veronica took Briana’s hands, and pulled her to her feet. Veronica pulled her closer, Briana pulled back in hesitation. “You need the emotional support of a family member.” Veronica said gently. “Come here.” Briana’s heart thudded and her stomach twisted. She was a whirlwind of emotions. Shame, rage, sorrow, relief, joy all warred in her. Eventually the numbness of exhaustion flattened the storm out. She let Veronica pull her forward, gingerly sitting in her roommate’s lap. Veronica’s arms closed tightly around Briana. A seal had been broken; Briana clung to Veronica. Tears flowed down her cheek but she wasn’t sobbing. There was more relief than anything. Relief, and warmth in her pullup. With a gulp she clamped her muscles down, glad that the flow had been a mere trickle. The shock did help her stop crying, she wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her pajamas. “A little better?” Veronica asked, stroking Briana’s hair. “Yes. Thank you. This is all… I don’t know how I can thank you.” “This is something I’m offering, happily.” Veronica said. “In order for this to be effective for more than this morning, I’m offering to take over keeping track of your schedule too.” “What?” Briana asked, confused. “You mean my classes and stuff? I can do that fine.” “Under ordinary circumstances, of course you can.” Veronica said, holding Briana firmly around the waist. “But your stress level isn’t going to go down if you have to do everything on your own. So what I want to do is go over your schedule. You’ll check in with me when you go to class and get back. I’ll make sure that nothing is missed, and that you can relax a little. Let things go, knowing you have a backup.” “So you’ll basically be my mom?” Briana said, giggling nervously. “A small part of one, in a way.” Veronica said. “You never really got to lean on an adult that did that for you. Right now I think you need it.” “I don’t know.” Briana said reluctantly. It was hard to protest it too much when she was cradled on Veronica’s lap. She didn’t want the embrace to end either. “You don’t have to accept.” Veronica said. “But I think your stress will stay, or get worse if you don’t put some of your burden on someone else.” “I guess we could try it.” Briana said in a small voice. “Good.” Veronica squeezed Briana. “Now, here’s my plan. I’ll handle your schedule. Erin will make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically. Suzie will make sure you’re leaving yourself time for entertainment and relaxation. Jane will keep track of your contributions to the household. Casey will look after you when you’re out of the house.” “Woah, wait!” Briana struggled to face Veronica, still held tightly in the hug. “Everyone is going to take a small piece, remember?” Veronica said. “You were right, it’s too much for any one person to handle. But together we can support you until you can overcome the stress.” “It’s… that’s a lot.” Briana frowned. “A lot like having parents watch out for you.” Veronica said. “It will feel invasive at first because you’ve never really had it. But I think you’ll enjoy the support more than you think.” Briana bit her lip and considered. She was exhausted a lot of the time, there was no denying it. She’d put it up to simple unemployment blues. “Is it really that bad? Everyone is acting like it is. I guess I did start wetting the bed out of nowhere. Maybe I can try it.” “Okay.” Briana took a deep breath. “I can try. It’s hard for me to imagine.” “Good!” Veronica smiled. “We’ll help you. The last thing we need to talk about is one form that help might take. In order for us to help you this way, we need to be able to impose consequences.” “Like what?” “Depends on where you fall short, if you do.” Veronica said. “It could be grounding you, or taking away your phone for a bit. For something minor it could be a quick swat on your bottom.” “This is going too far.” Briana struggled against Veronica’s arms, in earnest this time. Veronica released her, and Briana hopped to her feet. “You are seriously talking about spanking me!?” “The important thing is that it’s a consequence that impresses itself on you.” Veronica continued in a calm voice. “You’re right that all this structure is foreign to you. For you to really rely on it, on an instinctual level, you need to accept us as an authority in your life. Otherwise you’ll never be able to really relax and trust us.” “I don’t think that getting a spanking is going to make me trust anyone.” Briana folded her arms. “You don’t think so?” Veronica said. “You’ve trusted me a lot so far, and I gave you a pretty good swat during your fashion show.” “That’s different!” Briana flushed. “That was playing around!” “So is this.” Veronica said. “You can end it any time you want to opt out. It’ll end naturally when you regain control at night. It’s designed to provoke an emotional response that will reach your subconscious. If your problem was rational we could talk it out, but I think you know it isn’t rational.” “I guess.” Briana wrung her hands. “Are you basing all this on uh, data? Clinical studies?” “Actually yes.” Veronica motioned to her notes. “My thesis was on behavior modification for self improvement. There’s a lot about people that isn’t rational, and it can have huge implications. Look at the placebo effect. Sometimes you have to trick your mind to get the best outcome.” “So it’s a spanking… placebo?” Briana sighed. “In a way.” Veronica nodded. “And it should work even if you know why we’re doing it. Are you ready to accept our offer?” “You’ve already talked about this with everyone?” Briana whimpered. “Only the basics. That we would split up the work of helping you out.” Veronica said. “I’ll go over it with them in detail, but I’m sure they’ll agree. And if someone doesn’t, we’ll split out that responsibility to the rest of us. We all really care about you, and we’re willing to do a lot to help you.” “Alright.” Briana nodded resolutely. “I’ll do it.” “Good girl!” Veronica said, chuckling when Briana flushed. “Go get cleaned up and bring me your schedule.” “Yes Veronica.” As she returned to her room, Briana marveled at how good that felt to say. “Someone is watching out for me now.”

This just occurred to me on my last road trip. I broke a tooth right next to my front tooth last April...yes, eleven months ago. I waited to get the implant process started because of a big road trip I had planned in May. Well, now that I've gone for eleven months with this extremely noticeable gap in my teeth, not one person has made a comment to me about it, or stared to the extent that I noticed it. My conclusion is that the number of people who notice something slightly unusual about you is probably much greater than the number of people who will mention it to you.

Hi everyone! just wanted to send a quick update that the story will be continuing in a few weeks. I’ll also be starting a few new stories. The last three months I’ve been very busy and I have been in between homes as I renovate my new place. I should be settled in the next few weeks and will finally have time to write again. Appreciate the patience and looking forward to adding to this.

Chapter 1 I find myself wandering in a dark forest, one with which I was told has many a rumor upon it. “Those who enter the forest alone will never find their way out.” Honestly I didn’t put much weight into it, having been told such things since I was but a child, and as with most things we are old as children, it's just one more “white” lie to assist in the exhaustive task of child rearing. The other rumor from childhood was just as outlandish, “A witch lives in the forest, if you go to see her she can grant any wish.” Granted I’m not sure where that one fits in my previous theory. Of course as an adult I was past such fantasies, instead worrying about the much more concrete fears of bills and long work hours. Horrifying. I stop for a moment taking in my surroundings, a misty twilight forest lit by the little light that makes it through the expansive canopy above me. The bark around me is well worn with age, gnarled roots popping out of the ground as so many grasping arms reaching out to trip. Heh, I suppose with a forest like this such rumors might well be warranted. Brushing aside a lock of ginger red hair, I peer down past my blue dress, worn by my time in the forest. I examine my bare feet, heels long abandoned, that continue to make themselves known. The dull ache is a constant reminder of just how long I have been walking. I suppose I just need a little more time to make up my mind, although I am plainly aware of just how certain my decision was. I move to continue, it’s not time yet for what I came here for, a step later I see the floor fast approac- __________ “Hello?” A dull ringing sound is still echoing in my ears as my consciousness slowly awakens. ‘What happened?’ I wonder as memories flood back unbidden. Perhaps my metaphor of grasping arms was a little too on point, or perhaps my clumsy nature was to blame, irregardless I feel the soft plush earth propping up my head. ‘Plush?’ My eyes shoot open. A pink blob is what greets me, followed by a pair of concerned pink eyes. I leap away from my impromptu lap pillow immediately wary of this stranger. “Ah!” the stranger lets out a squeak not prepared for the sudden movement. Taking a moment to step back I focus my blurry eyes and take in the stranger’s bizarre appearance. The first thing that comes to mind is just how accurate pink would be as a general description. A young woman stands before me wearing what could only be described as a strawberry dress. It is completely pink with strawberry accents upon its puffed out sleeves, a strawberry apron, and a big poofy red bow tying it together pops out from behind her. Looking up I see that her hair is also pink covered in a pink bonnet accented with, what else, but more strawberries a small red bow adjourning either side. She looked like a kids cartoon character popped out of a television set. Smells just as sweet as she looks. “Are… you all right?” She asks, staring apprehensively, her voice melodic. “I found you knocked out and was just trying to rouse you when you woke…” “Wh- Who are you?” I ask with a cough, my voice hoarse. “And why did you have my head on your lap?” Trying to keep suspicion out of my tone, people did not just conveniently wander through forests for no reason. She blushes at my accusation, at least having the common courtesy to feel a little embarrassed at offering such an intimate act to a complete stranger. “Ah, I was just propping your head up so that I could bandage the wound, sorry…” She trails off with an awkward giggle. At that my hand shoots up to feel some sort of makeshift bandage upon my temple. It is slightly damp with what must be blood. “Oh! Where are my manners, My name is Strawberry the Strawberry Witch. I live out in these woods. I have a small bakery a little ways from here, but I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s your name?” She beams a genuine smile towards me gesturing for me to answer. “...I would have never guessed.” I deadpan. If not for the pain from my forehead I might have thought I was having some sort of weird fever dream. Besides that, her ridiculous outfit and claim are putting me on edge, my rule of never trusting anyone with pink hair forthright in my mind. She continues to stare at me expectantly, her smile dampening slightly with the long silence. “Maira. My name is Maira…” I mutter out, suddenly aware of just how thirsty I am. “Well it is nice to meet you Maira, I’m not sure why you are out here, but you must be awfully thirsty given how deep you are. If you want we could go back to my bakery and get you something to drink!” “Hold up! What do you mean you are a Strawberry Witch, are you messing with me?” I ask incredulously. “It’s just what it sounds like, I'm a witch specializing in all things strawberries. I use my magic to bake sweet treats to make people smile!” She finishes with another bright smile. “Uh huh…” Who am I to judge people for being crazy? “So how about it, would you like to have something to drink? I could whip up some strawberry lemonade or strawberry milk in a jiffy!” My immediate gut response was to scream no as loud as I could and hightail it away from this obvious lunatic. But given why I was here, I suppose that the worst that could happen would be expediting the reason I was here. “Uh, sure that sounds good.” I started unevenly, tensing as Strawberry’s smile expanded. “Ok! Follow me, it's close by!.” Despite myself I began to follow the suspicious person I had just met further into the forest, already aware of how bad an idea this would certainly turn out to be. Author's Note: Based off a small indie game called berry-witched, I wanted to get the first bit out promptly so that I don't get dejected about not reaching word count goals and so that I can, in theory post more often. Who knows how that will go, but hopefully I can get a chapter out every couple of days. It will be a little bit until diapers become prevalent. Thanks for reading and hopefully I can post again.

You guys did great with the website funding this month, so I feel guilty even asking, but I could really use a few dollars if someone is willing to share. I'm out of coffee and more importantly dog food, with five more days to go. I'm desperately holding on to the last $40 I have to pay for an uber to pick up the car when it's ready.

Dunno where else to put this since we don't' exactly have a dedicated section for video games. I had recently been playing South Park the Fractured But Whole, and on the overworld one of the taunts from the six graders if you walk away from them is "What's wrong fourthy, shit yourself?" "Go change your diaper!" rather ironic when you happen to be wearing while playing.... and... ahem.. need to be changed, so to speak.

I meant like I'd want the normal friend to be diapered! Could of been phrased a bit better, will admit. Yeah, would much rather have a daddy than a mommy. Don't know why, I've just always had a strange preference for daddies over mommies, and it doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon! And who knows, maybe we both will find a daddy one day! We can only hope! (Also, apologies for late response, didn't even realise this was here until I checked this place to make sure the thing I was about to post wasn't too similar.)

It's obvious that you have never been in the thrift store when I was in there! I'm just 4 years older that you and a guy and that's where I buy 85% of my diapers!

You seem to think being incontinent is all glamorous and easy. Disabled people have it harder. Check your privilege

Like in a good way?!????

All my doctors do is check to see if my diapers are working and I'm not developing a diaper rash. I even have nurses who help me with diaper changes and they often comment on what kind of diapers I am wearing.

They always are boosted for work and they have to last the entire shift.

I'm facing the same issue with a complete axle rebuild for a pretty common Ford full floating axle. First it was in stock, I placed my order. The order shows processing for 2 weeks and after numerous follow up calls and emails I'm reassured that its in transit with no tracking from the freight company. Finally by the third week they admitted that they oversold versus stock and do not have what i need. It's now on backorder with no ETA.

The Seni Super Plus look like an Adult version of the Pampers Size 6! They sag and droop without a onesie, (but that happens with all the cloth-like diapers I've tried.) That's the only downside of cloth like diapers, in my humble opinion. They hold lots of wettings, especially with a booster, and there's hardly any diaper bulge, so people won't know you're wearing. You should really use plastic pants with them, because they produce Diaper Sweat. After a couple of wettings, the outside of the diaper will start to "sweat". So the plastic pants stop that pee from going to your pants. And the plastic pants also keep the physical properties of the Cloth-Like Diaper, stronger. You could easily wear one for 8-12 hours with the right booster, onesie, and plastic pants COMBO. You'll just need to get used to where you need to tape them. The Tapes are technically, re-adjustable hook and loop, (just like Pampers) But I find them to keep secure better if you don't ever re-adjust the tapes, once they are set in place.

It was a bit quick, but I suppose that's just pacing of the story. Still, I enjoyed it. Was a very short but sweet little story.

Believe me. For a person who doesn't have family (literally everyone is dead; and an adoptive brother overseas doesn't really fiy the defibitiob) it's an enormous thing to have those two. I didn't say Oslo. In fact we're only going there for the concert. My sister is in Kristiansand

I've already spoken about them on here in past forum threads as I am a former furry of 9 years. I dont think you want my honesty about them but sometimes in order to get a clear picture you need info about the bad parts as much as the good parts.

That last update is such a tease! Gy is confusing me. I almost feel like she shouldn’t be a keeper or if she is supposed to be both or something.

I'll take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead

Yeah CHRIStian Rock

I voted yes on this subject. As someone who was urinary incontinent but want to be bowel incontinent it would have been a lot easier to achieve if it were done with surgery. It took a long time of training to become incontinent and I have no regrets other than I wished I could have done it sooner. If incontinence is something a person truly wants then I believe they should be able to through surgery. Most don’t understand the need but I do.

I took care of a friend's daughter when she was about 7 or 8 and she always insisted that I cut her grilled cheese sandwiches diagonally.

Chapter Three Tali was so pleased with herself - she was a revolutionary, and all she had to do was stay dry for the rest of the day. Then one day would become two days and whichever amount was after that. And that was basically a whole year, as far as she knew, and that was a long time! Behind her, she saw Claire getting waylaid and pointed down the hall away from the classrooms. Talita sighed to herself. Poor Claire. All afternoon was Good Girl class, something Talita had really struggled with in her first month here. She hated following the rules, and she refused to accept her condition. But after a few Bad Girl days, she learned her place. Good Girl class was all girls. The boys went to Good Boy class. There was one Candy who wasn't a boy or a girl and their parents picked for them. Talita didn't mind the Good Girl class anymore. Actually, she preferred it over morning classes! Morning class made her feel stupid, but Good Girl class was easy. Plus, Claire was there. "Good afternoon, my Good Girls." "Good afternoon, Lady Scarlet," came the chorus of girls' voices, like any other schoolroom of little girls - only any other classroom would have had little girls who weren’t adults. But that was the norm here, so Talita didn’t mind so much. Though it did make her wonder if her being out of diapers might lead to the other kids being embarrassed. Oh well, she couldn’t worry about that, because this was Good Girl time. "Today we’re going to talk about gratitude," Lady Scarlet said. "Now we all know that gratitude rhymes with attitude, and that you’re all my Good Girls, so you have such a good attitude. But sometimes... it’s not enough to just be good." Lady Scarlet, who unexpectedly had blue hair, paced in front of the girls as she spoke. "Sometimes," she continued, "you must remember how much work grownups put into keeping you safe, happy, and healthy. And so, my darlings, we come back to gratitude. To thanking your Mommy or Daddy, if they, for example, put in the work to keep you safe from falling down the stairs, by teaching you not to open doors anymore." Her words were pointed, and Claire slunk deeper into her chair. "Remember, no one in Town is trying to embarrass you. We are doing what is best for you, right?" "Yes, Miss Scarlet," everyone replied at once. "Good girls. Now let's try some gratitude exercises. Pair up and practice saying thank you, no matter what the other girl says." Talita turned to Claire with a smile and waited for everyone to get into groups. Games like this were always fun for the girls, and Talita liked to push the limits as she often did with everything in her life. "You can't have cookies anymore," Talita told Claire in the bossiest tone she could muster without giggling. Claire rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Tali." Claire sighed, and then shot back her own reply. "You can’t use colored pencils no more." "Thank you, Cair!" Talita giggled. The joke was on Claire anyway; Tali barely knew her colors anymore! "You can’t suck your thumb anymore." Take that, Claire! "Thank you, Tali. You can't have your stuffed bear anymore," Claire responded. "Thank you, Cair! You have to—" Talita paused mid-sentence. She felt a tinge of discomfort and squirmed in her seat. She knew that feeling well enough - she had been working hard for months to remember it. If she forgot that feeling, then there was no hope for her. Quickly, Talita raised her hand. "Miss Scarlet, can I use the potty?" Miss Scarlet turned to Talita and the whole room quieted down. No one had ever asked Miss Scarlet that before. "Hm... well, this lesson is very important," the teacher said slowly, thinking it over. "I wouldn't want you to miss anything." "I can be thankful," Talita countered. "I'm really good at it!" "So, if I told you to wet your undies right now, you'd do so and thank me?" Talita froze in place. She had gone most of the school day without needing to use the bathroom. But she couldn't ignore it. If she did, then she would have an accident for sure. If she had an accident, or if she listened to Miss Scarlet, she would be back in diapers and never allowed to ask about undies ever again - that was the deal she made with her Mommy. But to disobey a teacher... she couldn't bring herself to do it. So, with tears in her eyes, Talita nodded her head. "Yes, Miss Scarlet..." "Well then." The teacher patted Talita on the head. "It seems you know this lesson very well. Head to the nurse's office and then hurry back to class when you're done.” "Thank you!" Talita almost tripped over herself dashing out of the classroom, which wasn’t too uncommon even on her best days. Her time in Town had set Talita back a lot and her body felt like she was carrying a too-full bowl of cereal with one hand: one wrong move and the liquid inside would just slosh out everywhere. That happened to her a lot. If she ran, she’d spill. If she took too long, she’d spill. And the nurse’s office felt so far away. But Talita was nothing if not determined. She kept a normal pace as she walked down the hall into the nurse's wing. Her bladder ached and she moved side to side with every step, until she made her way into the office. "E-excuse me," Talita muttered over the counter. It was on a platform so that Talita's head could barely see over it. The secretary peered down at her with a warm smile. "Ah, Talita Campbell, right? The girl in undies. I've been expecting you." "Uh huh." Talita bounced from foot to foot. "Bathroom, please?" Part of Talita expected the secretary to say no. She thought the woman would hold her down until she wet her trainers, and then her Mommy would keep her in diapers forever. Part of her still thought that the Town was her enemy. But the secretary got up from her chair right away and led Talita down the hall to the bathroom. She opened the door and led her inside. "I'll be at the desk if you need anything," the secretary said, closing the door behind her. And just like that, Talita was alone in the bathroom with nothing between her and the toilet. She had won! But her excitement quickly faded as she stared at the porcelain chair in confusion. It was right there. She could use it! But for some reason, she couldn't remember how. Talita was paralyzed with her indecision. She stared at the toilet, until eventually she started to pace around it. Left. And right. How did this thing work? Where was the padding? What was going to hold her pee? Did she tell the nurse to change it when she was done? And when she peed it was always in little squirts over the space of time. Did she just stay here until she was done? How did she... how did people... she couldn’t figure it out. It didn’t make sense… "Excuse me?" Talita stood awkwardly, halfway between the bathroom and the secretary's desk. She was bouncing in place, doing her best not to wet her undies. It got harder with every moment. "Oh, what can I do for you, sweetie?" The secretary stayed at her desk, so Talita took a few steps forward. "Um, I just... could you... I don't really know what... how it works..." "Oh?" The secretary tilted her head. "If you've already forgotten how to use the toilet, maybe diapers are—" "No!" Talita spoke a little too loudly. "I... I know how! I'm a big girl! I am!" "Well, okay." The secretary shrugged her shoulders and went back to work. Talita went back to the bathroom and closed the door. She had to figure it out on her own. There were buttons on top of the thing, and maybe they were like... how it worked? Like maybe Talita could push the button and it would make more sense. But there was more than one button, and they had different pictures on them, and she didn’t know what any of it meant. Nervously, she sat down on top of the seat, facing the wall, and bit her lip. You got this, Tali! With confidence, she pushed one of the buttons. And there was an almighty noise that scared her so much she fell backwards off the toilet, scrambling to get away. Noise, and rushing water, and a cacophony of sensations as she hit the floor hard in surprise. "No, no, no, no, no..." The sense of relief was short lived as the heat pooled around her bottom. Talita squeezed her legs shut, pressing her hands against the cotton between her legs. It grew warm and damp at her touch. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop anything. Mommy would find out, and she would be in diapers forever! Before Talita could come up with a plan, she was bawling her eyes out. The door opened a minute later and the secretary came in to find the crying girl in a puddle on the bathroom floor. "Oh dear, sweetie," the secretary smiled and clicked her tongue, "baby girl, these are the kind of things your Mommy tries to keep you safe from, and you were so ungrateful. And now you’ve made a puddle on the floor. My goodness. Do you think you should be in undies, Talita?" Talita couldn’t stop crying. The secretary called a nurse, who came in and scooped Talita up into his arms. If he cared about the wet dress or the wet underwear, he certainly didn't show it. He walked Talita past a few different changing stations - some of which were occupied - and into one on the end of the row. "Come on, peach," the nurse said. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? You'll feel so much better when you're nice and dry." Talita shook her head and kicked her feet, trying to push the man away. Tears poured down her cheeks like raindrops on glass in a thunderstorm. "I'm a big girl," Talita cried out. "I am, I am! Dun tell Mommy, please... please!” "Oh peach, you know I have to tell your Mommy, you know that I do. She works very hard to take care of you and if we didn’t tell her, that wouldn’t be kind." The nurse had such a warm, calming voice and he held the girl in his arms like she weighed nothing more than a doll. The nurse placed Talita on the changing table and Talita got to her feet. She was hysterical and trembling. “It... it was just one time... one accident... it's not fair! It's not fair!" "Talita." "No! I didn't mean it! I don't need diapers, and I dun wan any of this stupid stuff! I wanna go home! I wanna go back to my real life! I hate this place!" With a sigh, the nurse reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny cylinder with pink liquid inside. In the middle of Talita's rant, he clicked down on the top and sprayed it in her face. The mist stuck to her cheeks and her nose. More importantly, some got into her mouth. Only seconds later, Talita's speech slurred to a stop and she looked up at the nurse with wide pupils. "There, now that’s better, isn’t it? Pretty girls your age are better seen and not heard, especially during a temper tantrum." He warmly smiled and picked her back up to put her on the changing table. Her training pants squished against her skin, and this time he forced her to lay back with one strong hand on her chest. "Talita, you’re not a grown up, you’re not a big kid. You’re a Candy, and Candies wear diapers. Candies ride in strollers, and Candies wear the pretty dresses you love so much. Candies don’t make any decisions. That’s who you are, it’s your life. Your real life. You belong here, and I’d like you to think about how sad you’d make your Mommy and Daddy if you weren’t here?" The nurse didn’t just talk - he used the time he was talking to undress the girl from her wet clothes, to get a diaper out from the changing table cabinets, to dutifully wipe her skin clean. Talita laid back on the changing table and tried to get her bearings. The room was swaying side to side and everything had an unusual brightness to it. Even the clinical lights of the nurse's office seemed to have a lot of color. Talita had become stupider and stupider over the past few months, but nothing quite compared to the complete absence of thought from the pink spray. "Imma... big..." Talita nodded, though she hardly knew what she was saying. She felt a shiver up her spine as the wipe took the place of her soaking wet trainers. "You’re a little girl, darling, and you were made for diapers. You belong in diapers. If you were a little more clever, you might have already noticed that, but that’s quite okay. You’re beautiful, so you don’t need to be clever at all." His voice was warm like the sun, and it made her cheeks flush and glow. "I'm... that's..." Talita couldn't piece together his words. She just shook her head and pouted as the nurse pulled out a thick #12 diaper and unfolded it in front of her. By the time she was dusted in powder and the diaper was taped around her hips, Talita forgot entirely what she was pouting about. "Arms up," the nurse said, pulling the dress up over Talita's head. She did as she was told with no understanding of why. She forgot that she got her dress wet. If she had remembered, she wouldn't have understood why it mattered. "That feels better, doesn’t it, precious?" If the nurse expected an answer, he’d be disappointed, but Talita was smitten by the feeling of softness between her thighs, and the way her new dress ruffled and moved when she did. She found herself giggling happily in her obvious haze. She put her hand to her mouth and giggled again, putting her fingers between her lips to chew on.

Chapter 57: Adventures in Being Babysat Thursday Night. The television clicked off. The Muffets were on and Lita Coreno was about to do her famous rendition of ‘Fever’, arguably the bit that first made the show in Season 1. It was a classic, and something I felt I needed to watch right then. I pounced up to my feet, letting the blanket slide off my bare legs. “Hey I was watching tha-!” I froze in embarrassment, realizing that I was in nothing but a diaper, again. The locking mittens over my hands didn’t count as clothes to me. Jessica stifled a giggle. “You’ve only got another hour before bed,” she said. “Do you really want to spend the rest of your time watching T.V.?” “YES!” “Ask a silly question…” That day had not been good to say the least. As opposed to the inspirational mischief I’d achieved on Tuesday, and the catharsis of Wednesday, Thursday had gone particularly poorly for yours truly. At first, I’d tried crying all day but couldn’t get it up to snuff quickly enough. “Don’t start that again, Clark,” Beouf warned. “You’re just being silly.” True enough. I’d come across enough fake criers in my time to know when I was trying to be one. Grieving is a process. Emotions come and go and one can’t force them. Best to just explore them while they’re happening, and they weren’t happening right then. My second mistake was deciding that I’d ‘whoops’ all day. No, that had nothing to do with the state of my pants, though I was quickly finding out that the aftershocks of the training chocolate weren’t done with me. Holding it in for upwards of a minute was still next to impossible, I just got painful warnings before the explosions occurred. ‘Whoops’, in this instance, was my attempt at ‘painting the frog’ all day long: Grab a crayon and drop it. “Whoops!” Bottle ends up on the floor and rolling under the table. “Whoops”. Pacifier becomes unclipped. “Whoops”. Puzzles; “Whoops”; paper, “Whoops” me trying to ‘help’ by grabbing a whole stack of diapers from beneath Beouf’s changing table. “Whoops!” On paper it should have been good. It was good...for a while. But one of many bad parts about legally being a baby is that eventually Grown-Ups can just decide to not put up with you anymore. That’s how my hands ended up in mittens, courtesy of Sosa the Occupational Therapist. My present state of undress came during dinner when Jessica chose to disrobe me for ease of clean-up. She hadn’t bothered to give me back my pants, and offered me a blanket instead. At least I’d gotten to zone out and watch T.V. “Come on!” Jessica tried to coax me. “Let’s play! Get some of that energy out!” I’d just wanted to tune out my surroundings and drown in nostalgia until unconsciousness claimed me. This woman wanted to play. Which one of us was supposed to be the adult again? “I don’t want to play,” I said as evenly as I could. “I just want to… I just want to…” I couldn’t say what I wanted to do. “Just please. Let me be. I’ve had a bad… everything.” Jessica, skinny, flat chested, and unimpressive for an Amazon, but still several times my size strode up to me, sat down and crossed her legs. “Wanna tell Auntie Jessica about it?” She patted the nest she’d made with her thighs inviting me to sit in it. “You’re not my aunt,” I said. “And Janet’s not my mother.” One full week of me being snatched up and my life turning upside down because of a shart; less than twenty-four hours after Janet made that heartfelt declaration of love for me; and she’d already decided she was stressed out and needed a night off from being a ‘parent’. Jessica seemed to get defensive. “Janet, I mean your Mommy is doing her best to learn how to make you happy and you’re not making it any easier for her.” “Easy?” I scoffed. “Easy? She thought taking a grown man and forcing him to be her baby was going to be easy?” Now she scoffed. “It’s not her fault that you poopied right in front of everyone. She’s just trying to figure some stuff out. Most mothers have at least a couple of months to figure everything out.” I opened my mouth to reply and came up short. Damn. She was right. Janet had benefited from my downfall, but I had no real reason to believe she’d caused it. Time to change the subject. “What does that make you, then?” “Her best friend,” Jessica said plainly enough. “Her sister from another mister.” Then she dared, “Your Auntie.” “You’re not my aunt.” “Your babysitter then.” I sighed. I knew where this was going. “Can I at least have my shorts back?” “They’re only gonna come off when it’s time for bed, anyhow,” Jessica replied. She was still sitting down, hoping I’d come cuddle with her. Good luck with that... “This diaper isn’t going to make it to bedtime either,” I retorted. “Does that mean I can walk around nude?” “No, silly. Little babies need their diapers.” Like a cobra, two fingers had shot down past the leg cuff. “You’re a little wet, though. Do you want me to change you?” Another no-win question. I’d gone underneath the blanket, anticipating a losing potty argument. I’d been right. Still...a question was an invitation to negotiation. Negotiation determined measures of control. This Amazon was Janet’s best friend. Someone Janet had gossipped about me to and was determined to see me as Janet did and was even pushier about being called ‘Auntie’ than Janet was for ‘Mommy’. She’d probably be another one of Beouf’s disciples if she had a Little of her own. She didn’t have a Little of her own, though. She had all of Janet’s cosseting, but no one to infantilize. No Clark to call her own. She had an Amazon crush on who she perceived me to be and absolutely zero experience with the real me. Maybe I could use this... “If I let you change me now, can I wear pajamas?” I asked. A smirk. The recognition of a hint of a challenge. “When I change you,” she replied, “I’ll dress you up in your jammies, yes.” Oh the power of language to assert control, demean, and subvert. A true Amazon. I could work with this, though. I really could. “Can I get the mittens off, too?” I asked. “My hands are all hot and icky” Her mouth cocked to the side. “I don’t know...Janet told me how you’d been acting up today.” Of course she had. “Did my Mommy say I had to leave them on till tomorrow?” I asked. Bingo. I knew I’d won as soon as I’d called Janet the M-word. “Well...she didn’t specifically say that...but I didn’t ask.” “But she didn’t specifically say,” I grinned, hoping my smile came off as precocious or whatever people used to describe a child with charmingly adult-like qualities. Jessica got up. “Okay. You got it, kiddo. Diaper change. Jammies. No more mittens.” Heh. Kiddo. Based on this exchange we were more similar than she’d ever want to admit. If shrinking rays were a thing she’d be more likely to pass as a classmate than as a babysitter. “Deal?” Miracle of miracles, she reached down with one hand and left it there for me to shake. I took it, grasping her palm like it was victory itself. “Deal.” “Great.” I lifted both arms up at an angle, and Jessica yanked me up by the armpits and onto her hip. Sad to say but I was already getting used to this sort of thing. “Let’s go get changed,” the sitter said. Riding around Janet’s house was hardly a novel experience. Outside of my nursery, and the living room, everywhere else required me to travel on someone else’s hip. I’d never even seen the inside of Janet’s bedroom. Jessica plopped me down on the changing table. I reached up and wiggled my wrists. “Mittens first, please.” “Please is the magic word,” Jessica responded immediately. She reached over to my wrists and undid the latches with a grip much stronger than mine and fingers more dexterous than the mittens allowed me to be. I wiggled my fingers as if it were the first time using them while Jessica’s hands went to undo the tapes on my Monkeez. I barely flinched. It’s strange how quickly I forgot to be embarrassed; actually forgot. Jessica had never seen me dressed as an adult or otherwise known me as ‘Mr. Gibson’. We were alone with no one left in the entire house, with no one to witness my position. She was being good about not commenting or narrating anything as she wiped me down and such, possibly lost in her own head considering how much she’d wanted to change me at the shower. To top it all off, after the new diaper was on, something would come to cover it up. Best of a bad situation, really. Speaking of that: “Whoah! Whoah! Whoah!” I called out just as Jessica was unfolding a super thick Nighttime Monkeyz. “Not that one!” “Why not?” Jessica said. “You’re about to go into your jammies. Might as well have your night diaper on.” “It’s really hard to move around in those things!” I said. “It’s almost like a pillow.” “So?” So? So? Crap, I needed a reason to...to...idea! “How are we supposed to play if I can barely move?” “Play?” Laying down, completely naked, I shrugged. “Why not?” I quickly added, “My pajamas all have snaps in them. You can change me into one before you put me down for the night.” That was enough. A regular daytime diaper took its place beneath me and I was powdered and taped in. The jammies I was buttoned into were sky blue, but at least the feet had tiny grips in the soles so that I could walk without sliding around too much. “So what do you want to play, cutie?” I was back on her hip and being taken back to the living room. Jessica’s grin was almost identical to Janet’s that first day that she took me. If she hadn’t told me that she and Janet weren’t related, I might’ve assumed based on that look alone. I looked around the room. I’d written a check to keep my thighs closer together. Now my ass had to cash it. “Um...I dunno.” I said. The babysitter was more than willing to help. “Peekaboo?” “No.” “Horsey ride?” “No.” “I mean you ride on my back, not my knee“ the technically more adult of us said. “Still no.” She looked over to the unfolding obstacle course. “We could…” “Nope!” “You’re just full of ‘no’ all of a sudden, aren’t you Little guy?” I exhaled and looked around the room. I was alone with a baby crazy Amazon that I’d just had some success at negotiating with. How could I turn this to my advantage? Inspiration! “Hide and seek?” I asked. “Whole house?” Jessica puckered her lips in thought. “I don’t know…” The more I thought about it, the more I knew it was a good idea. What better way to get into every nook and cranny of this place than to pretend to be looking for a hiding spot? “Come on,” I goaded her. “What’s the worst that could happen?” “You might try to run away.” Janet’s friend said quickly enough. She wasn’t cosseting on me so hard as to be completely oblivious to the fact that I was a Little and not regressed. It was only natural to assume that I’d book it. I gestured to the kitchen where the nearest door was. “Come on!” I said. “All the doors are baby proofed with those special knob things.” I hated using words like baby in place of Little; I was just playing to my audience. “And look at me. Even if I do get away, where am I going to go dressed like this?” “You could get hurt, and I won’t be there to save you.” My arms fidgeted, and I had to use my willpower to keep them still instead of gesticulating wildly. “This is the suburbs! It’s not like a great beast is going to eat me or something!” Oh, the absurdity of it all! “Yeah, but you might hurt yourself trying to hide from me or get out. You could get stuck, or crushed, or trapped.” I exhaled. “Fair point. Okay. So...boundaries? Certain places where neither one of us is allowed to go.” Come on Clark, I thought. You can do this. Control the conversation. Set the rules, even if you’re going to break them. Jessica hemmed and hawed for a moment. “Alright. Let’s talk boundaries. No hiding in the oven.” Yikes! Did she really think I was so…? I stopped myself. I could use this. “Okay. No oven. No refrigerator either. Cabinets are okay though.” “That sounds safe enough,” Jessica. “No trying to get into the dryer or the washing machine, either.” I made a show of thinking. “Can I hide in the garbage cans?” I had no desire to hide in the garbage cans. This was about getting concessions more than extra spots. Also extra options on her mind could only help me. “Ewww!” Jessica’s nose wrinkled. “No way. You’ll get disgusting and I’m not giving you a bath so close to your bedtime.” “Empty them first,” I said. “Nope.” I kicked at the carpet a bit. “Okay, okay. What about laundry baskets and hampers?” “That’s okay.” Jessica replied. She looked around the room. “Hiding under chairs and tables is okay, too, but no messing with the sofa. You could get hurt.” The game within a game was getting me excited. “What about the bathtub? Under my crib?” “All good,” she said. “Anything else?” “Yeah,” I said. “No messing with the lights when you hide. No fair turning the lights off to make you harder to find.” “Harder to find?” Jessica ran a hand through her short brown hair. “I’m not hiding. I’m seeking.” I had anticipated this. “What? Where’s the fun in that? We take turns.” I’d been hiding from Amazons in some form or another my entire life. Why not change it up a bit? More importantly, the seeker had greater freedom of movement. .Clearly she imagined herself leisurely walking through the house calling my name. ‘Wheeeere’s Clark?’ “I’m too big to hide in this house,” the Amazon chuckled “So you think you’re gonna lose,” I goaded her. “That’s an interesting way to play it.” She got that exact same look of iron willed competitiveness that I’d seen in Ivy Zoge’s face on Monday. Who says Amazons and Littles are that different? “If I chose to hide, kiddo, you’d never find me.” “Oh really?” I said. “Care to make a bet?” “What kind of a bet?” she asked. “A simple bet,” I suggested. “We take turns. Every time I find you… I get a cookie.” A look of understanding and recognition came across Jessica’s face. “Ooooooh! So that’s why you want to play hide and seek. You want a game you can win so that you can get a cookie!” More like I wanted to appear to be interested in something besides snooping around. I looked away trying to seem bashful. “Okay. What do I get when I find you?” she asked. I thought. What did I have to offer her? What to get for the girl who might not have everything, but it doesn’t matter because you have no credit card? “You can...tickle me?” Score! Again the hand came out, rather like an equal. “Deal!” We shook. She took out her phone and played with it for a moment. “One minute to hide. Five minutes to look. If the alarm goes off first, hider wins.” I didn’t like the time limit on snooping, but I knew where to push. “Deal.” “Oh, and no going into your Mommy’s room. I just don’t think she’d like it.” “What?” I whined. “We didn’t negotiate that.” “Sorry, kiddo. Them’s the breaks.” “I’m pretty sure I’m older than you!” She didn’t seem too bothered by that fact. “Take it or leave it.” I huffed. “Fine.” I was totally going into that room. If I wasn’t before, I was after that exchange. Jessica showed me the app on her phone. A one minute timer on vibrate followed by a five minute timer on speaker. “You hide first. Ready! Set! Go!” She put the phone down and covered her eyes. I started looking around for a place to hide. A bad one, too. I was planning pool shark tactics. Lure in my pursuer’s interest by lowering her expectations. Play just enough to give a feeling that I was doing it for real instead of biding time. Even with no life left to live, the fantasy of escape kept coming back to me. I wouldn’t escape tonight, but I could at least get the information that would eventually lead to my escape. Internally, I started counting to sixty. Memorize the doors, observe the windows. Nothing to it. There was the nursery, the guest bathroom, the greeting area, the living room, the kitchen, and Janet’s room. A couple air conditioning vents made me pause and consider. It did not last long though. The vent was small, even for me. I couldn’t rip the tapes off a diaper; forget taking a grate off. No go on the grates. “Ready or not! Here I come!” I shuffled quickly into my nursery and hid behind the curtain. It was a bad hiding spot. The curtain didn’t even come down to my ankles. Nobody would be fooled by this. That was the point. “Claaaaark?” Jessica called out. “Where arrrrrre yoooooou?! Wheeeeeeere’s Clark?!” Ha! Called it! Her footsteps were practically thunder in the house. “Wheeeere’s Clark?!” I decided to speed up the inevitable and forced a childish giggle. “Hee-hee! Hee-heee!” I covered my own eyes and shuffled my feet in place. Maybe Amazons were secretly tuned into the crinkle? I didn’t know. “THERE HE IS!” I felt the woosh of the curtain being pulled back. I heard Jessica stifle laughter. “Awwww, Clark! It doesn’t work like that.” “I know,” I sighed. “You know what that meeeeans?” Already, Jessica’s fingers were moving like spider’s legs. “Iiiit’s tickle time!” I pressed myself up against the wall and let the panic fill my eyes. “Wait!” I called out. “If I find you, will I get a cookie right away?” “Hmm?” Jessica grunted. She clearly hadn’t considered that. “No. I think if you get any cookies, you’ll have to wait till we’re done playing.” She started making like a cat that had cornered a mouse. “Then how is it fair,” I asked, “that you tickle me every time you find me?” The tickle monster stopped. “Fair enough,” she said. “But I’m gonna give you a really big tickle before bed then! It’ll be worth two or three tickles put together!” “Good thing I’m wearing a diaper, then,” I replied. Those are seven words I never thought I’d say in that order. The thought of somehow tickling me until I peed myself caused Jessica to bubble up. “Okay,” she said. “Your turn.” She grabbed my hand and led me back to the living room. She took her phone out and reset it. “Ready?” She had no idea. “Close your eyes.” I did. “Go!” I inhaled and slowed my breathing; waiting the full minute until the phone vibrated. No sense in cheating. Not yet. Not like this. I didn’t actually want that cookie. I started to prowl through the house, doing my best to hope that the diaper wouldn’t give away my position. Neither did I call out Jessica’s name. I didn’t want her to know where I was. Now was the time to really hide. Walking past a hall closet towards my nursery, I caught a hint of a shadow coming out from underneath a door. I didn’t hear words, but I heard the same giggling I’d heard moments before. Such a shame. She was totally going to win. No cookie for me. Oh well. I about-faced and walked as quietly as I could across the house to Janet’s bedroom. I wasn’t supposed to go in there, and I had less than five minutes to snoop what I could before the alarm on Jessica’s phone went off. The door was left open just a crack and I slid myself inside, making sure that I wouldn’t have to jump if I wanted to open the door back up. So this is what Janet’s room looked like! The room was painted a light, almost flamingo pink. Closer to rose petal, come to think of it. Oddly calming. The far side of the room had a computer desk and desktop, very similar to what I’d used...before. Likewise, the master bathroom was connected to the bedroom, just like...before. The bathroom was smaller, mine was...had been nicer, but it did the trick, especially for a woman living on her own. A sink, a mirror, a medicine cabinet, a toilet, and a shower. Nothing fancy. The shower had a screened in window, the kind with the warped distorted glass that would let sunlight in without anyone being able to see inside the shower. I fantasized a scenario in which I could somehow reach that high, toss a big enough brick to shatter it, crawl through the window and drop to the outside without breaking a leg. Unlikely. Back in the bedroom proper a vanity mirror sat across the bed where I would’ve put a chest of drawers. Janet kept makeup and jewelry on the stand and I could just imagine her putting on her finishing touches each morning before coming to wake me up. The walk in closet made up for the relative smallness of the bathroom. It was half the size of the Braun’s trailer...and just like that I made myself sad again. It was also very empty, only half full... and just like that I felt a bit of dark pleasure. The real centerpiece of the room, however, was Janet’s bed. Incredibly big, even for Amazon furniture, it looked extremely messy; a mountain of mattress, pillows, and disheveled comforters. Janet had fallen out of the habit of making it, it seemed. More important was the headboard. Massive, to the point of being gaudy, the head of the bed was actually a thick set of glass cabinets holding china and silverware. Someone liked breakfast in bed. Up at the very top were fancy glasses; champagne flutes, martini glasses, and the like. Someone liked more than just breakfast in bed. Mimosas perhaps? To the right of the headboard, just where an Amazon could easily reach if they were sitting up- or a Little might steal if he were standing on the mattress- was a dark black bottle. A cabinet with fine dishes to break was one thing. ‘Whoops!’ I was nothing if not spiteful. The bottle is what really drew me in, however. There was something that I hadn’t been in a long time: drunk. Time to fix that. I scurried up the mattress. My diaper was still dry and just thin enough that I could make a decent jump of it and pull myself the rest of the way up. The mattress didn’t squeak under my weight and I couldn’t hear the rustling of the soft plastic as I zipped and scrambled over pillows and bunched up sheets. Not much time now. Any second the alarm would go off and I would lose. I wouldn’t get this opportunity again tonight. I leaned out and grabbed the handle of the unlocked liquor cabinet. It opened out from the bed. Digging my fingers into another built-in cabinet I leaned out as far as I could and grasped at the bottle. Full! Very full! So full I almost dropped it! It was practically a baby in weight; a real one. Setting it down on the mattress, I rotated the bottle, looking for a label. No name on the bottle; just a symbol. A white boney hand holding a red oblong shape. I squinted and mused. Did no name make it expensive? Was I about to waste really good booze? What was it? Vodka? Wine? Did I care? Wedging the bottle between my legs, I held it in place with my knees while I unscrewed the lid. Sniffing at the bottle, my nose wrinkled at just a whiff! “Ooof!” I said involuntarily. This stuff was strong! It made sense that Amazons would have liquor this potent. They’d need it just to feel a slight buzz. The sound of an alarm faintly going off in the distance made my ears prick up. Time! Out of time! “claaaark?” I heard the distant voice of Jessica echo on the other side of the house. “Claaaaark?” I was going to be in so much trouble! “Whelp,” I whispered, gathering up my courage. “If I’m going to be in trouble, I might as well make it worth it.” I stood up on the mattress, opened my mouth as wide as it would go so as to fit around the bottle’s massive rim, gripped it with both hands and then tilted back as far as I could. In that split second, I imagined the scene as Jessica might perceive it. Coming and looking for me and finding a ‘baby’ nursing on a very different kind of bottle. This was going to hurt, but it’d be worth it. Worst case scenario, I reckoned, I could plug it with my lips to stem the tide if the booze burned a bit too much. Mistake! BIG MISTAKE! FIRE! MY ENTIRE MOUTH WAS INSTANTLY ON FIRE! Inside the lips, tongue, back and the throat, everything burned! Cheeks! Gums! Uvula! Someone had taken a match to the inside of my fucking skull! It burned, and not just in the way that all alcohol burns! The first three to four gulps had been just me chugging without thinking. I was not going to bed sober, no siree! I didn’t make it to a fifth swallow. My gag reflex was already fighting me. I exhaled and felt the burning, stinging, pain in my nostrils. It hurt! So much! Pain! It was like an Amazon spanking to the inside of my face! Stupidly, I puckered my lips. That only made more of my face burn. “FUUUUUUUUUUU-!” I screamed, heaving the bottle to my side while I sat up. Gasoline! I must have chugged a bottle of gasoline. I’d need my stomach pumped! “AAAAAAAAH!” I was crying, my eyes tearing up while I screamed and wiped at my tongue in agony. Breathing? Breathing only made it worse! “MOTHER FUUUUUU-!” I rolled on the mattress, licking the comforter in a bizarre and futile attempt to make the hurting stop. I didn’t roll far enough, and soon my tongue touched upon a gasoline soaked bedsheet as the puddle spread on Janet’s bed, and the whole thing started over again. Thunderous running over my howls of pain, but I still drowned them out with my own yelping. “OOOOOOOOOOW!” “Clark?!” The door slammed open. “FUCK FUCK FUCK! GODDAMNIIIIIIT!” I stopped swallowing and started drooling. It didn’t help the hurt any. Might’ve even made it worse. “Clark? Baby, what’s wrong!” Gasping for breath I pointed to the spilled bottle with one hand while I stupidly wiped my mouth with the other. “WHY?” I felt like I was breathing fire. My eyes felt like they were shooting lasers out of them. “WHY DOES….?” Talking hurt. I didn’t want to talk. Staying still hurt. I didn’t want to stay still. I kept flailing my arms and pumping my legs on the mattress just to distract myself. A thousand invisible ants had crawled into my throat and were biting me from the inside out. The tube! It was like the tube that Beouf had shoved me down into, only on the inside! IT BURNED! Jessica picked up the bottle and looked at the logo. She gasped. I went to wipe my eyes. “Clark! No!” Too late. The pain doubled in my eyes. I was no longer just crying because of how much everything below the nose hurt, now my eyes were on fire too. I didn’t need to see to understand that I was being picked up and carried out of Janet’s room. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit!” Jessica cursed. I also didn’t need to see to be able to scream. Which I did. A lot. “WHYYYYYYYYY?!” So many questions. Why did it hurt? Why did it hurt so much? Why wasn’t it stopping? Why was I so fucking stupid as to put something in my mouth if I didn’t know what it was? I had not a single answer to these questions just then, so a single syllable of “WHYYYYYYYY?!” had to do. “Clark? Open your mouth for me.” Jessica had lost all of the cutesy inflections in her voice. “Open your mouth, baby.” It hurt more to breathe through my nose than my mouth, so I didn’t put up much resistance. Not a second later, something cold and creamy squirted into my mouth. I latched onto the bottle without hesitation. “MMmm...Mmmmm..” The cold, fatty stuff, filled my mouth and glided down my throat and it still wasn’t enough. The fire inside was dying, but still too slowly for me to be comfortable. It was a relief however. “Hold still,” Jessica said, her voice still with worry. I felt wipes, first wet then dry, drag across my face. “Keep drinking. Open your eyes if you can.” Gradually, I blinked open, more tears came out, but it was hurting less. My sockets were flushing themselves out. My lips still felt on fire and I kept sucking them into my mouth. Jessica saw my face and took the bottle from me. “Close your mouth a second.“ I did, even though breathing through my nose still felt like I had nostrils filled with angry wasps. She squirted some milk directly onto my lips, and the pain started to go away one awful second at a time. Greedily, I opened my mouth and accepted the nipple again. “That’s right,” she whispered to me. “Drink it up. There’s at least one more prepped in the fridge and at least a couple gallons more to pour in if you need it.” Pathetically I nodded and kept suckling while she bobbed me lightly in her arms. I took the chance to test my throat when the bottle was empty. “What,” I gasped. “Was...that...shit…?” My babysitter put the second bottle to my lips and waited for me to drink. “That was ghost pepper tequila. It’s spicy, even for Amazons. What did you think it was?” I let up sucking long enough to answer. “Wine? Vodka?” I latched back on immediately. It still hurt to have an empty mouth. Jessica’s eyes brightened up. I got the same look when I wanted to laugh but didn’t dare for fear of hurting a child’s feelings. She’d laugh about this much much later, though. I could just tell. “Honey, there aren’t any Little drinks in this house, I’m sure. All of your stuff is in the fridge where it belongs, not in your Mommy’s liquor cabinet by her bed.” My mouth let go of the nipple. “Please...don’t...tell...Mommy.” I was beyond embarrassed at my situation. Using the M-word was a low blow meant to manipulate her emotions. No point in letting pride hold me back. The trick worked, just not how I thought it would. “You think I’m gonna tell on myself?” she said. “No chance. Janet would never let me babysit you again if she found out what I let you do.” Jessica carted me to my room. She put me down in my crib, but left the bottle. “Keep drinking, but slow down,” she ordered. “Swish it around. Maybe gargle. I’m going to Janet’s room to see if I can clean up your mess.” This time she got no complaints from me. I sat there for several minutes, swishing milk around my mouth. My stomach gurgled a bit from what I’d just added to the concoction inside me. This stuff would probably hurt coming out tomorrow if not sooner. I exhaled, sad, pathetic and defeated. How fucked up was it that this was my life now? Just then, I didn’t care. I just wanted the mouth pain to go away and for this awful, awful day to be over. Thursdays might be terrible for me for the rest of my life at this rate. The streak had held so far. Hadn’t it been a Thursday when my date with Cassie had gone sideways? Cassie... Tears of continued grieving and existential dread were cut off by a sudden not quite dizzy feeling. Tipsy. My cheeks warmed up, but it felt good this time. My everything still sizzled inside but I suddenly cared less. The mattress of the crib seemed a lot more cozy just then. I kept working on the nipple of the now emptied bottle because it felt good. Wow! I had been at least half-right. It wasn’t vodka, but it was some strong shit! Eyes at half mast, I laid back in my crib. Stupidly, feebly, I reached out for Lion and clutched the stuffed animal close to me, his synthetic fur lighting up my senses. “Okay, I think I…” Jessica said coming in. “Clark?” “Mmmm?” “You okay?” I let the bottle drop out of my mouth. “Oooooooh yeah...I’m really okay.” The room was starting to sway and spin a little. “Fanks for the milk.” “Uh...no problem sweetie.” She took the bottle out of my mouth and I let out a groan while my lips puckered. “Here ya go.” My bottle was replaced with a pacifier. “Wow. You’re a real lightweight, aren’t you?” I blinked to try and stay awake. “Well yeah,” I said. “I’mma...I’mma… Little... ain’t I?” “Yeah,” Janet’s friend said. “I guess you are.” Quickly, she unbuttoned my pajamas and changed my diaper to an overnight. “Very Little.” Before turning off the lights, she reached down and rolled me over onto my stomach. “Let’s have you sleep on your tummy...just in case.” “In cayshe what?” I mumbled from behind the pacifier. “Just in case.” The lights went out around me and I could feel my brain gleefully shutting down. Time to rest. Back to the drawing board tomorrow. Live to fight another day. “Hey hey!” I heard Janet whisper. The drowsiness and fatigue all but leapt out of me. My eyes remained closed but my mind started to race. How much did she know? “Oh!” Jessica jumped. She lowered her voice back down. “You’re back!” “Meeting got out earlier than I thought,” Janet said. “What’s that in your hand?” “Had time to go shopping, so I picked a special something up.” I heard the rustle of a plastic shopping bag. “How was he?” “A little fussy at first,” Jessica lied. “But I managed to tucker him out. Was just about to close the door…” “That’s great,” Janet said. “He hasn’t been sleeping very well. I knew you’d do well.” “Well...you know…” Jessica was sounding less and less confident. I managed my breathing, sucking on the pacifier and cuddling Lion to control my pulse. “He called you Mommy a couple times…” “Yeah,” I heard a tired heave from Janet. “Probably when he wanted something from you, am I right?” Jessica made no reply that I could hear. “They say it’s common at this stage. It’s still a step in the right direction.” It didn’t sound like she fully believed herself. “Glad you two had a good time, though.” Had I wanted to, I still had the strength to push myself up, and shout out exactly what had happened. Even if I slurred every word, Janet might smell the liquor on my breath. I didn’t though. Jessica helped me out of a lot of pain and talked to me better than most. Still, I blamed it on the milk. “Are you sure you don’t want me to write that letter of recommendation?” Janet asked. My eyebrows nearly lifted off my face. The Grown-Ups had moved onto other topics, apparently. “I’m sure,” Jessica sighed. “I want to get that teaching position on my own.” “And you will,” Janet softly murmured. “As soon as one opens up.” There in the darkness, my eyes peeked open, adjusting instantly to the pale nightlights. Jessica was a teacher, too? And unemployed? And Janet had been trying to get her a job?! Through blurry and drunken eyes, I peered out the bars of my crib. It was hard to tell from the angle, the darkness and the blood alcohol content, but if I hadn’t known any better I’d have said that Janet was holding a box of candy in the palm of her hand. Not just any kind of candy, either. From the outside, it looked like the kind for cream filled chocolate bon bons bought for fancy occasions, dates, presents, and the like; the kind that Rainne Forrest kept in her desk. And were I in a betting mood, I’d have said that the shopping bag had more than a few duplicates of the same. Why did Janet have so many? “Let me just give him a kiss goodnight…”

Ding Ding... Million Dollar question So power trip..... I doubt it's just that simple.... Yeah if I wasn't going for the kill before I would be now

Thank you kind friend!

You can have the last of my spending money for march. I had no idea what to spend it on anyway

Again, to the person who seems to be confused on all my posts, this is an old saying, an idiom (if you are aware of what an idiom is idiom definition - Google Search). I'll spell it out for you in case you can't figure out how to do a Google search, even though all you have to do is click on the link I provided. whatever floats your boat idiom - Google Search The expression 'whatever floats your boat' means do what brings you joy. For example: It's your birthday. We can go to the theater or have a meal in a posh restaurant. Whatever floats your boat. If you are still confused, I don't think there's much hope for you.

Beaver diaperfur. Bugs Bunny, the original diaperfur.