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Chapter 109: Throw “YEAH? I NEEDED to get back here in time?” I said, feeling exposed and embarrassed in front of my former nest mother right then. “Well, you’re here, and I’m in luck that I get to change a much prettier Little than I usually do!” She picked me up before I could warn her about me probably leaking but quickly carried me to a small changing room on the first floor I didn’t know existed. She used one hand to unfold a disposable changing pad. She placed it on the metal changing table and laid me on it. “You soaked through your onesie and skirt,” she said as she flipped it up. “Here, sit up for a second,” she told me. I rolled upward, and a second later, she pulled the jumper over my head and then the onesie to leave me only in the sagging and soaked diaper. “Umm… what am I going to wear?” I asked her nervously. “Don’t worry, we keep a few spare things in here for this type of emergency,” she assured me. “Let’s get you out of that soggy diapee first, though!” I really felt that Lilly did a better job of changing my diapers. However, Mackenzie was still better than several changers I’d had. She was gentle, wiped me thoroughly, and dressed me in a spare diaper from my backpack. “You don’t have a spare outfit in there, do you?” I blushed, “I used it this week already?” “That’s fine, we’ll just use a spare shirt here,” she told me. I watched her dig through a bin for a moment before coming out with what looked like a simple pink sweater at first. Once she pulled it over my head, I realized the arms had several rows of ruffles by the wrist. Even with the top being too large, it barely covered much more than the top of my diaper! “Sorry, no leggings or pants; we’ll just have to get you up to your nest. You’re wearing a diaper anyway,” Mackenzie told me as if that excused my nude legs! “Let’s just get up there quickly?” I asked. She smiled, picked me up, bounced me up and down, and then carried me out of the room. The temperature in the lobby area felt like it dropped thirty degrees from an open door to the outside. Several other Littles were coming from a common area on the first floor then and seemed to all stare for a second before looking away. I blushed and felt like my face was probably as hot as the sun! Fortunately, the elevator trip, plus her long legs, had me to my new nest pretty quickly. “Hi Mackenzie! Did you catch a stray of mine?” “This fish wasn’t in the water, but I thought I’d bring her to you?” “Thanks! Looks like she had a wardrobe issue - what did you do with her wet clothes?” “Here,” she said, handing her a clear bag. “I almost just put them in the laundry chute, but since you kidnapped her from me, I figured we’d make sure they knew the clothes belonged to your nest.” Mackenzie hugged me, “It’s good to see you, Carly! I’ll make sure I get down here to see you some other time. Be good for Miss Lilly!” She placed me on the ground, patted my exposed diaper, and walked out. Lilly giggled at me, and I noticed Ava and Mia looked like they couldn’t decide whether to laugh at me or feel bad. For my part, I just walked to my stuff and found a pair of black leggings. It wasn’t worth changing the top in my mind when I’d be putting on pajamas in a little bit. I had to admit with leggings on to cover my bottom half, I was pretty comfortable since the borrowed top was really soft! I found myself working on homework and trying to get ready for one of my first tests that was coming up on HoloTheory the next day. I had a good, solid grasp of all of the material so far, but I wanted to review all of the new terms and jargon that were used in the class. By the time I’d also done some brief studying for my intelligence class and math, it was nearly three hours after I’d returned. I stood up to walk to find Lilly for a needed diaper change before calling it a night! BETH WAS BLUSHING as she entered the dorm. She quickly sucked her coat off so she didn’t have to worry about anyone wondering about it. She folded the wet spot inside after taking a quick sniff and noting there was a residue of Carly on it. She groaned, and Nikki gave her a little smirk as she traveled up the stairs to the dorm. “Why don’t I take your coat? I’ll wash it at my apartment tonight?” “I can just put it in the laundry here?” Beth started to say. “You know the laundry is analyzed, right?” “Huh?” Nikki shook her head, “You’re so smart on some things, kid…?” “What do you mean?” “Someone about fifteen years ago figured out when they installed the auto laundry features for the dorm that they could also be clever and make sure no one was hiding bedwetting from them?” “You mean…?” “Yes, if you have any clothing in the wash that has a too-high urine concentration, you’ll be closely watched.” With a sigh, Beth handed her the coat, “Thanks for washing it then…” “Do you have another in case it doesn’t dry tonight?” Beth nodded, “It’s supposed to be a bit warmer tomorrow anyway, so I would probably have switched to a different one anyway.” “Good,” she told her. “This date tomorrow?” Beth blushed and smiled at the same time, “Yes?” “Would you mind if I triple-checked Carly’s plans? I don’t want to overstep, but I also want to make sure it’s a safe trip for you.” She did indeed feel a bit smothered by that but nodded anyway. “Sure, it seems like she did a decent amount of work trying to plan it already?” “I’m sure she did, knowing her family. No need to risk her missing something, though!” “Fair enough,” she said. “You’re not going anywhere else for the night?” Beth shook her head, “I have a test tomorrow in calculus I need to finish studying for.” “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then,” she told her. “See you tomorrow,” Beth said, closing the door behind her and latching the deadbolt shut. She sighed, squeezing herself in a little hug, then changed into a comfy pair of pajama pants and a light purple top with a circuit diagram on it. Lance had given it to her for Christmas, and she appreciated its nerdiness. Dressed more comfortably, she pulled out her tablet and the review guide that her professor had kindly provided their class for the test the next day. She was about to the point of screaming about one problem when her phone suddenly rang. She stood, found it, and when she saw it was her mom, she answered with the holoprojection function, placing it on the desk in front of it. “Hi, Mom,” she said. “How are you doing, Sweetie?” She shrugged, “Ready to throw my tablet of calc work into the wall?” “That sounds normal,” her mom laughed. “The only person I know who didn’t absolutely hate that class was your dad.” Beth shook her head, “Carly is just as bad!” “How is she taking everything?” “Huh?” “The fact she’s stuck as a girl?” Her mom said. “Oh, that…” “That? It was supposed to be a temporary thing for the film? Surely she’s a bit upset, at least, at being stuck as a girl? Your dad would have been devastated?” Beth nodded, “Carly is fine with it, Mom. Actually, she’s better than fine with it, I think.” Her mom gave her the stare that always felt like she was opening her brain up and stripping out the knowledge from it, “She wanted to be a girl?” Beth sighed, “Yeah, I think so?” “Well, what about your relationship now?” Beth shrugged, “Seems fine still?” “You’re okay with going out with a girl?” Her mom asked. “You never seemed like you had a thing for girls before?” Beth shook her head, “I don’t have a thing for girls in general; it’s just Carly?” Her mom cajoled her into more information as their conversation went on about things she would never discuss with her dad. Eventually, she made her excuses and said, “I need to finish studying; give everyone my love?” As the line cut, Beth felt more drained and relieved to have spoken with her mother. Looking at the clock, she decided to hit the restroom and resume her studying. When she was past the point of getting anywhere, she went to the restroom again to clean her face and brush her teeth before climbing into bed and being tucked in by Rachel, who seemed to suddenly appear at bedtime each night. “Good night,” Rachel told her as she turned off the lights. I WOKE UP the following day with a swim with Lilly and Mackenzie before finding my way to breakfast and classes. Computational Intelligence was interesting that morning. I made some notes on some ideas I wasn’t sure Mom knew about yet! Our professor was currently involved in some research that furthered Grandma’s work in the field, and she was making some impressive gains in how the AI chunked new knowledge. Her thinking patterns seemed to be heavily influenced by her own kids’ development, which I found kind of intriguing! I walked to my Holofield Theory class and crammed a few last minutes of studying before the room was packed. Our professor passed out the same style of tablet we’d taken our placement tests on that first week. I appreciated that I was given a smaller one than my neighbors, though! “You have the full class time for this exam. We can work with you if you need additional time, but in my experience, you either know this material or you don’t,” Professor Davis told us. I nodded. To me, this was more of a memory subject than a ‘work it out’ subject like math or programming. “Just one other note, due to some issues I’ve had before, I would ask that you please not leave the room until after you complete the exam. You’re welcome to go before I activate the test and come back if you need to use the restroom, but I’ll collect your tests otherwise if you need to leave.” I squirmed at that, wishing that going to the bathroom was even a realistic possibility for me! “Well, at least I can just go…” I thought to myself even as several girls excused themselves from class, and one boy then. My diaper was a little damp, but I was pretty sure it would hold up until lunch based on how little I’d drank that morning. “Okay, I’m going to activate your tests now; they’ll start when they return. Good luck!” Immediately, my screen lit up, and I began working on answering questions about a subject that would have sounded like gibberish to me a few weeks ago! BETH HAD SPENT the morning when she woke up doing some last-minute cramming. She’d even made Carly quiz her on a couple of formulas before leaving her at her first class and heading to her own. During her Logic class, she discovered there would be a project due in that class in another week as one of her five grades. Fortunately, it seemed straightforward and not too time-consuming! Her professor annoyingly went over time by a few minutes. Since she was sitting inside a row, there wasn’t a good and tactful way to leave until he finished! She was a little worried that Carly wasn’t waiting for her or at her classroom until she checked her message and realized she’d hurried to her next class to cram for her own test. “Everything okay?” Nikki asked her. “Yeah, just was a little nervous for a second that Carly wasn’t here. She has a test in her next class, though, so she hurried there to do some last studying.” “I don’t miss being in school,” Nikki told her as she walked beside her. Beth laughed, “Aren’t you basically back in school now since you’re with me all the time?” She looked up at Nikki, who made a cringing face like she’d smelled something bad. “Well, at least I’m not taking the tests?” “Don’t remind me!” Beth said. She had to appreciate that the chill of winter had taken a break that day. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been the past couple of weeks. “I wonder if this warm weather is going to last long?” Nikki asked as if reading her thoughts. Beth shrugged, “Not sure, I was thinking that though? It’s been frigid the past couple of weeks!” They didn’t have much more time to talk before Beth led them into Marconi Hall and down the hallway to the small lecture hall where her class was held. She took a quick moment to detour into the restroom first and thought, ‘I hope Carly’s diaper lasts through this class?’ Once she sat in her class, she took a moment to pull out her notes again for her calculus exam. When her professor began class, she couldn’t help but note that it would be a long day before they wrapped up! “Okay, don’t forget that we have a test next Friday in this class…” he droned on as Beth made a note in her calendar about yet another test in the next couple of weeks! ‘Classes don’t seem so bad at the beginning, but then they just start piling up tests and projects!’ she griped. Her calendar was filling up, and it was still several weeks until midterms! She checked her messages as she left class and was a little concerned that she didn’t see one from Carly. I WAS MAKING quick work of the exam as it went through everything from the absolute basics we’d started with. The first question asked us to describe the particles involved in the projection of just the images. A follow-up question began to ask how you would manipulate the particles, and things continued on in that manner for thirty questions. About question thirty-one, I checked and saw there were a total of sixty, so I was halfway done! I was completing question forty-eight a half-hour later about the proper way to orient the projector lenses when I felt my stomach rumble. ‘Hush, I’ll feed you after this,’ I said, figuring it was just hunger since lunchtime was coming. Question fifty-three was a more theoretical-based question and asked about the proper formula for calculating the intersection of the particles of light with the stasis field you needed to generate. Fortunately, I remembered the formula, so I was writing it with the stylus even as I felt my body give off a little bit of gas in a fart. “Gross!” I heard someone complain a row away. I blushed but continued to work. ‘I hate that I don’t have any control over anything now!’ I thought to myself. The only warning I had before something happened now was when my body would decide to crouch, seemingly on its own. ‘Hopefully, it holds off until after this test!’ I grimaced a moment after finishing the fifty-fourth question as my insides seemed to twist some, but then there was a sense of relief in my body. I finished fifty-six before I heard, “Did someone just poop themselves?” From a girl a couple rows back. “Ladies and gentlemen, you must remain quiet through this exam. I will not warn you again.” “Professor, how can we concentrate when there’s a poopy-pants here?” The girl pushed back. “Breathe through your mouth,” he suggested and glared at her. I pointed my eyes back at my paper, but not before noticing he looked straight at me with a sympathetic glance. “Can I at least change her diaper?” The girl asked. “I’m sure it’s not comfy for her, and it’ll at least move the smell away from us?” “I told you, no one can leave the room?” He said, and I sensed he was trying to make excuses. “She’s just a Little, I’ll change her behind your desk?” “I don’t…” I felt a nervous feeling in my stomach, but I also knew it was kind of rude to force people to smell my poopy diaper for the rest of the test. “Fine,” I said, “I have a spare diaper in my bag. Are you sure you want to?” I looked up at a tall brown-haired girl who smiled, “Sure!” The girl clambered down the steps and had me in her arms almost before I was ready. “By the way, I’m Harper,” she told me. “Carly,” I said quietly. She nearly pushed Professor Davis to move out of the way, and I was at least grateful the room had been set up like a regular lecture hall that day. That meant a large desk in the front of the room blocked the view of anyone seated in the rows. “Do you have a changing pad?” She asked me quietly as she sat me down. I blushed, but I dug through my bag and handed her the changing pad, a diaper, and some wipes. “Well, at least you’re a prepared little girl!” She patted my back, “Let’s get you out of that icky poopy diapee!” “Please keep quiet,” Professor Davis asked. “I’m just changing her diaper?” “Quietly,” he insisted. She shook her head and unfolded my changing pad, then laid me down on it before pushing the skirt up and out of the way. With a few pops, the onesie was opened up, and then she tickled my stomach for no reason. I fought back a few giggles, “Please don’t?” “Fine…” she said. “Don’t get your panties in a twist… oh, you won’t wear those,” she smirked. I couldn’t tell if she was being cruel or just trying to be funny… “Don’t quit your day job,” I groaned. A moment later, she pulled the tapes open and used the used diaper to scrape some of the muck off my butt. “Eew,” she complained a moment later, and I watched her use a baby wipe to wipe her hand up before resuming the cleanup on my bottom. She used quite a few wipes to gently but quickly clean me up. Satisfied, she rolled them up in the old diaper and taped me in the new diaper, buttoned my onesie, then sat me up and handed me the diaper. “Go throw your diapee away in the trash can and get back to your test, sweetie!” I wanted to gag as she handed me the balled-up diaper! I could see brown stains on it, and I did my best not to throw up as I walked it to a trash can by the door. I found my pack of baby wipes in my bag and wiped my hands with one before returning to resume my test. Thirty minutes later, I was grateful to have pressed submit and escaped the room from my classmates! I felt a little guilty as I passed by the trashcan and could clearly still smell the contents! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!!! Please press the 'Like' Button and leave me a comment! The real world is hitting hard right now, and I'm hitting a lot of hours at work beyond normal right now. I'm hoping to get to some more writing on this this weekend so I can get back ahead. I'm being beaten up by my stress enough that we'll see what happens. The good thing is at one post a week I do have 16 more weeks written already, but I would prefer to return to two a week. We'll see what happens, though... Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Chapter 22: The Night Before I returned downstairs to find that Hannah had resumed watching the movie without me. Like before, she was sitting on the floor. Emma remained absorbed in her smartphone on the couch. "You were in the bathroom for a really long time," Hannah said as I took a seat behind her on the couch. Emma groaned at her cousin's lack of social etiquette, though she still didn't look up from her phone. I didn't respond at all to Hannah's comment. Anything she might think I had been doing in the bathroom was better than what I had actually been doing. I hoped that I had managed to put everything back into the suitcase exactly like I had found it, and that the pull-up I had tried out wouldn't show any signs of having been worn. I wasn't able to pay attention to the TV. It didn't matter that this was my favorite of the Harry Potter movies. I simply couldn't sit still and focus on it. The diapers I'd discovered in Hannah's suitcase both worried and intrigued me. Why was it that she would need to wear those to bed rather than the pull-ups? There was only one explanation that made sense. The pull-ups must not work well enough for her at night. There was no question from when I was holding the diaper that it had significantly more absorbent padding, but it seemed to follow that it would be more effective at absorbing urine. But I struggled to understand why that was the case. The pull-ups seemed to work perfectly fine for Hannah during the day. Or did they? When Emma had mentioned that her cousin had peed all over the couch the other day, I had simply assumed that she must have not had a pull-up on at the time. But what if that wasn't the case? What if she had been wearing the pull-up, and it hadn't been able to completely absorb the accident? Maybe those pull-ups didn't work one hundred percent of that time? What would that mean for my own fake bedwetting once my parents got the pull-ups for me? I, of course, would be wetting them, but what would happen if they leaked all over the bed? I couldn't see my parents wanting to continue getting pull-ups for me if that were to happen. They wouldn't see them as having any value if there were still wet sheets to deal with, anyway. Would I end up needing to wear diapers as well if I were to continue faking the bedwetting? And did I want to wear diapers rather than pull-ups? That was a question I didn't know the answer to at the moment. I hadn't ever remotely considered the possibility of wearing a diaper rather than a pull-up outside of the makeshift diaper I had attempted to make for myself once a couple of years back to disastrous results. Would a diaper feel as good as wearing a pull-up? Would it feel better than wearing a pull-up? That wasn't a question I could answer without having tried one on, but there hadn't been an opportunity to do so. From the windows looking out over the backyard, I could see that the rain hadn't let up a single bit. I checked my phone. The forecast said the downpour wasn't supposed to stop until sometime overnight. The movie finally came to an end. Hannah wanted to move on to the next one immediately, but not before taking another toilet break, as her watch had just gone off a couple of minutes earlier. "I need to put my foot down," Emma said, though she remained seated on the couch with her legs curled up to the side. "I'm not watching another one of these movies this weekend." Hannah was gone a lot longer than before. It was hard to tell since it was raining, but I thought I could hear the sound of someone going upstairs and walking around. When she finally returned, she didn't take kindly to Emma's decision to move on to any activity other than watching the next Harry Potter movie. Hannah stomped her feet and ran off when Emma refused to hand over the TV remote to her. Hannah returned a few minutes later with her mom, who tried to helpfully suggest that perhaps we could make some TikTok videos with Hannah instead. That seemed to test Emma's limit on wanting to do anything but watch another Harry Potter movie, but she agreed. There was still another hour or so before Mom was going to come and pick me up. We managed to get a couple of someone choreographic dance videos made that Emma promised Hannah that she would post to her account, though when Hannah went off to use the toilet again, Emma whispered to me that she was going to delete it all once Hannah was gone, saying that she didn't want to ruin the vibe on her account. The doorbell rang a few minutes later. It had to be Mom coming to pick me up. Hannah stayed behind in the living room as Emma and I went to the front door. Mom was chatting casually with Emma and Hannah's parents in the entryway when we arrived. "Are you excited about summer break?" Mom asked Emma. "I will be when Angie is back from her road trip," Emma said. "I'm looking forward to the sleepover on Maddy's birthday." Mom nodded in response to Emma's statement and shifted her gaze over to me. And just like that, I was caught. Mom wasn't supposed to have known that I'd already invited Angie and Emma to have a sleepover on my birthday next weekend. "Where's Hannah?" Emma's aunt asked. "I don't know," Emma said. "Maybe in the other room." "Can you go grab her? I'm sure she'd want to say goodbye since we're leaving early tomorrow morning." Emma trudged back off toward the living room. I caught her rolling her eyes once she was at an angle where her parents couldn't see it. A little while later, there was a loud patter of feet running along the wood floor, and Hannah sprinted around the corner. I couldn't help but once again find my eyes drifting down to her waist. As she came to a stop, her shirt lifted up briefly, giving one final half-second glimpse of the pull-up beneath her shorts. "Bye!" Hannah said with a wave at me. And just like that, she was done, having turned back around to sprint off toward the living room. We continued to make small talk about plans for the summer for a few minutes, and then it was time to head home. I closed the door behind me after getting into the passenger seat, bracing myself for an awkward conversation. Mom turned on the ignition without saying a word and watched the rear-view camera as she carefully backed out of the driveway. Once we were out on the road, the questions began. "Why does Emma think there's going to be a sleepover on your birthday?" she asked. She had me there. It was stupid bad luck that Emma had thought to say anything about that to Mom. Mom had shot down the idea of an all-nighter, and she had made it clear that she wasn't going to OK the idea of a sleepover unless the anti-bedwetting pills had worked. I really didn't want to answer Mom's question, even though it wasn't as though she likely knew the answer already. "I told Angie and Emma that a sleepover was the plan for my birthday." "Madelyn, you know that I had said that wasn't an option unless we managed to figure out what was happening with the bedwetting." I nearly did it. Even though I had planned to bring up the topic of pull-ups tomorrow, I nearly went forward with the speech I had rehearsed about how it might be good to try them. But I instead fell back on a more vague excuse. "I just figured that maybe the doctor would have something that would stop the bedwetting so I could still have the sleepover. I didn't want to tell them that I couldn't do it." "That doesn't leave a lot of time," Mom said as we turned onto the road that led back to our house. "I want to make sure any solution actually works before letting you do a sleepover. Maybe it would be best if we just postponed it. Your friends can stay until it is time to go to bed. It's not as though you'd really miss anything while being asleep." That was the last thing I wanted, especially after having already told my friends that a sleepover was going to happen. "Please don't tell them that it is canceled yet. I don't want them to think anything is wrong." Mom was silent for a bit as she pulled into the driveway and waited for the garage door to open. "That's fine for now," Mom said at last. "But if we don't find a way to deal with the bedwetting before then, it isn't going to work to have the sleepover." <><><> Another night. Another set of pills to take before bed. At least this was going to be the last time. Despite my pleas to get out of taking the pills tonight, Mom insisted that I should give it one more try before going to the doctor's appointment in the morning. "I don't want you staying up too late tonight," Mom said. "The appointment is first thing in the morning, so you need to make sure you set your alarm for eight." Great. Pills. No more water for tonight. No chance of peeing the bed this evening. And I had to get up early in the morning. I held out my hand, and she dropped the two pills onto my open palm. I grabbed a glass with a small amount of water in it from her as well. Mom watched as I popped both of the pills into my mouth. I resigned myself to the possibility of dealing with an actual headache tomorrow morning as I began to raise the glass of water to my lips. Some loud yelling in the distance – which sounded like my younger brother, Jackson – suddenly grabbed Mom's attention, as she turned around to look in the other direction. Mom's back was turned as she headed down the hallway in the direction of the tantrum that Jackson seemed to be throwing. That wasn't common behavior for him, but when it happened, it usually took both of my parents to rein my six-year-old brother in. This was my chance. I pulled the two tiny pills out of my mouth and placed them in my pocket before quickly chugging down the small glass of water. With my plans for the evening suddenly looking much more positive, I didn't throw a fuss at going to bed earlier than I normally would have on an evening during summer break. I made sure to use the toilet while my parents were helping my brother get ready for bed, making sure they would know that any bedwetting would be happening in spite of all the precautions that were being taken. I flushed the two pills down the toilet, watching carefully to make sure that they didn't resurface. The best part about having avoided taking the pills tonight was that I wasn't going to have to avoid drinking anything afterward. My mouth had been so parched the past several nights when I had gone to bed without sneaking a drink from the sports bottle I had tucked away in my bedroom. Alone in my bedroom, I raised the bottle to my lips. I couldn't believe that I was somehow actually excited about the idea of drinking lukewarm tap water. The likelihood of being able to wet myself in bed tonight allowed me to manage to set aside my disgust at the bitter taste of the water. The problem of going to bed this early was that I still had plenty of time to kill before midnight. I tapped open the web browser on my phone, trying to recall the name of the website Hannah had mentioned reading those Harry Potter fanfiction stories on. I couldn't recall the exact name, but a quick Google search of the acronym she had mentioned brought up a link to the website. I tapped on the link, and then I groaned as a new pop-up appeared on my phone, one that was unwelcome but familiar, a message that the website was blocked due to the parental restrictions on my phone. Well, that was just great. Defeated, I set my phone down on the bed. It wouldn't be the first time that an otherwise appropriate website had been mistakenly blocked by the software. If it was something Hannah had access to, I couldn't imagine that it was actually anything that bad or inappropriate. I would need to ask Dad about the website tomorrow, and he would be able to update the permissions on the parental controls like he had done for me before, though perhaps I should consider coming up with a reason for wanting to access the website other than wanting to read Harry Potter stories. A sense of melancholy struck me as midnight approached. This might be the last time of wetting myself like this. Going forward, I would be wearing a pull-up to bed every night for the foreseeable future. I had first wet the bed nine nights ago. And tomorrow I would be going to see a doctor. I was amazed at how quickly everything had progressed. I'd tried to put off thinking about what the doctor's appointment might mean for me in the morning. What tests would they end up running? What theories would they have for why the bedwetting might be happening? Was there anything I had done that might cause them to suspect that I was actually wetting the bed on purpose? One thing was clear. Regardless of what happened at that appointment, I was going to need to find a way to broach the topic of pull-ups with Mom tomorrow. With any luck, tomorrow night, I'd be going to bed while wearing a pull-up identical to the one of Hannah's that I had tried out earlier today. Having managed to avoid taking the anti-bedwetting pills, I didn't have to struggle at all to manage to wet the bed, and I took in the sensation of the warmth spreading beneath my waist. Even though everything had gone right so far, even though I was still completely on track for my plan to succeed, another thought began to fill me with a new worry as I lay on top of my thoroughly soaked bedding. What if the pull-ups didn't work for me? --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Hey everyone! Congrats to everyone for making it to about the halfway point in this story. I feel this chapter is very appropriate to mark that point in this story, but things are about to get a lot more interesting. Also, I just want to note that I could have dedicated a lot of time to this next chapter. Originally, it was going to be three separate chapters, but then I realized that it might get a little tiresome plot wise. In that same vein, I know I could have drastically simplified Emma’s thoughts or language, but that makes for a pretty boring or near incomprehensible chapter, so I elected not to in this case. I think the end result works and makes for a much more interesting read. Also, minor spoiler here, but Dash does show up in this chapter as an actual character. Nancy doesn’t know his name, so he’s not named, but I just want to put it out there. Namely, I want to note it first because considering the number of views this story has already garnered, I’m assuming some of you may not have read my previous story. As such, basically just remember that toys come alive when not being watched. I won’t commit to if its magic or whatever, but keep in mind that toys only reveal themselves to Littles in dire circumstances or when they believe they won’t be noticed. It’s not a big part of this story, focusing on Emma and all, but just in case anyone gets confused, that’s the reason for some elements occurring in this chapter. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 8: Nothingness, a Doggy, and a Bond The trappings of my life soon became just that. I was a prisoner in my own mind. I didn’t want much anymore and everything around me became fuzzy… unclear as to what was going on. At first, I mourned the loss, but soon, I took comfort in the peace and safety my new life afforded me. I knew it was a dangerous path to head down but considering all that had happened and that I now felt practically all alone in this world, it just felt like a good alternative to what could have occurred to me. See, when Littles sometimes ‘break,’ as I did, we tended to go down one of two routes. Most just regressed their own minds and became mentally like babies from then on out. Recovery was possible but challenging and usually a failure. For me, however, I had gone the other way and I had become locked within my own mind. The major problem of this route for Littles was that their already fragile mind often would regress from sheer disuse or the inability to fight off anyone as they approached with something to further harm or regress them. Unfortunately, I was already starting to feel these atrophied effects take hold of me. While I knew that Nurse Bee’s special shot and whatever happened afterward with the pain in my head could be blamed for some of the problems I was now experiencing, I also knew that the more time trapped in my own mind was now severely degrading it. It wasn’t long before my needs became simple. My emotions were always in flux but my communication with them became very limited as well. A gurgle meant I was happy. Crying meant I was uncomfortable. And anything else that occurred outside my mind was just a physical manifestation of my own body. Even my memory seemed to fade with time. Concepts I had known for years all began to vanish. At first, I was so scared. Imagine forgetting your parents’ faces or the home you grew up in. Time seemed to just not matter anymore though, and it didn’t take long for me to not even mind that something was lost anymore. After all, if I couldn’t remember it, I couldn’t mourn it. Holes were left in my memory, but as the holes started to become the majority of what I could remember, one hole was just as sad, or meaningless, as the next. At some point, I just stopped caring. Between that and my near-constant need for sleep and other basic needs, my life soon merged into a routine. By the end of the second day, I had nearly lost all track of time and the only things I could recognize were those things that continued to be mentioned. Daycare, Nancy, Emma, diaper, messy… things like that, but most of those words had little meaning for me anymore. And each time I closed my eyes to sleep once again, I found I was missing more. I knew it wasn’t long before my current life was all I knew. I would live in the moment, not caring about what was next or what had just happened. Every time I had that thought though, my eyes soon closed once more as I fell asleep in my crib. * * * Nancy looked down at me and I cooed over seeing her face again. I wasn’t sure who ‘Nancy’ was exactly, but she was a pretty lady who kept me fed, warm, and clean. To me, that’s what mattered. “Who’s my Little snookums, huh? Is someone ready to go to daycare?” she asked, clearly not expecting a sophisticated answer back. As usual, I cooed back in response. “I’ll take that as a yes!” Her smile was infectious, and she played with my feet for a moment, before picking me up and taking me to the car. I didn’t like the car or my car seat, so I began to fuss. “Oh, honey. I know you don’t like this thing, but I need to get you to daycare and…” Her phone began to ring, and I started to fuss more as she turned her head away from me. “Oh, shoot! That’s work. I’ve got to take this, sweetie. I’m sorry.” She then popped her phone out. “Hello? Yes, Greg. I’ll be there in a little bit… No, I know that you all wanted me there early, but I just can’t with Emma…” Nancy seemed all upset and I got a little upset as well. I had no idea who Greg was, but I just wanted her attention back on me. She tried to play with my feet from a distance, but it just wasn’t the same. Nancy noticed. “Look Greg, I have to go… I didn’t regress her. You think I wanted this? She’s wonderful and all, but…” She looked back at me with a sad face and then quieted her voice. I could still hear her though. “It’s not my fault. The daycare screwed her up and taking care of a near newborn is hard enough. She had a blowout this morning and… yes… yes… I understand. I will be there as soon as I can…” Sighing, Nancy then hung up and turned her attention back to me. “Sorry, baby. I needed to take that but come on. I’ve got to take you to daycare pronto.” Seeing her attention pop back to me, I only cooed again. She smiled and I tried to as well, but I just heard a little farting noise instead. ‘Weird…’ Nancy tickled me a little bit and then left. Just as I was about to cry out though, she popped back in front of me, so everything was good. She even made this big noise with what we were in, and I cooed over the rattling I now felt in my body. Smiling back at me, Nancy turned on some of what she called ‘music.’ I wasn’t really sure what it was, but I just knew I liked it. So, I cooed back at her again. What felt like a thousand years later, Nancy stopped, disappeared for a moment, but then reappeared and picked me up. I cooed at her touch, but before I could really feel her closeness, I was given to someone else. I began to distress a little. “Sorry, Diana for the late drop-off,” Nancy apologized. “She had a blowout and I hate to drop and run, but I’ve really gotta go now.” The woman, Diana I guess, nodded and raised up my hand a little. “That’s okay, Nancy. We’ve got her now. You run off back to your job.” Nancy then waved at us and took off. Diana waved my already raised hand back to her and it felt kind of funny. I felt I had a new ability as my hand flopped about. It was so cool, but Diana stopped and just sighed. “Well, I guess I best get you settled Emma. No need to wait around out here…” I started to distress a bit, but Diana soon started bouncing me a little in her arms. It was actually kind of fun and I cooed a little bit during the process. Before we had even moved much further though, this one tiny person came up to us. “Miss Dee-Dee! Miss Dee-Dee!” she called out. ‘Who’s Miss Dee-Dee?’ Diana looked down at her though. “Yes, Lilly. Is there something I can help you with?” Lilly, I guess, nodded her head and clutched the doll in her hands more tightly. “When’s Emma gonna come back an’ play with us? Is she any better?” Diana started responded back, though I still wasn’t sure what was happening on whether she was really Diana, Miss Dee-Dee, or was just a special person and had two names. ‘Do I have two names?’ Diana shook her head to Lilly’s question. “I’m sorry, Lilly, but Emma here is on a different level than you are now. She might come back, but you need to be prepared that she might not.” Lilly seemed to listen but then quickly looked distressed and tried pulling my foot from her position below me. “Emma! Emma! Please talk to me! Please! You gotta wake up!” Diana moved me away and pulled Lilly away from me before waving over to a new woman. “Easy, Lilly. You need to stop that. There’s nothing any of us can do now, so you just need to accept this. Until then, Miss Mindy here is going to take care of you, okay?” By now though, Lilly was crying, and I started to get a little distressed myself. “Oh dear,” Diana said as she started to bounce me around again. “Guess someone needs their morning nap and a feed.” My cries stopped and I cooed back. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” Diana then waved to Miss Mindy and Lilly as the two hugged each other. Lilly was still crying, and she seemed so familiar, but the prospect of getting fed quickly snapped my mind off the brief thought. That cycle repeated for a long time after. Maybe a year, or a month… a day… actually, I wasn’t really too sure on the who concept of time anymore, but it felt like a long time. Regardless, nothing changed. I would wake in the morning, Nancy would drop me off and would get more upset every day with me, I would come to daycare and go through that cycle, and then I would be taken home where I would go to sleep again. It was all a routine, but a pleasant one at that. My world had shrunk very nicely and despite Nancy and others seeming distressed around me occasionally, I just kind of accepted my life. It felt safe and easy. But I guess life never stays that way though, and soon, I finally felt like I was cracking up. That patchwork-like stuffed dog that seemed somewhat familiar had wandered into my crib in the Burrows room… and yes, I know how it sounds, but I swear they walked right up to me and even spoke to me. I just assumed it was a dream, but he kept doing it with such vigor that it almost frightened me. Stuffy’s are just not supposed to talk. It’s almost a basic law of nature, ‘I think?’ but after a few more times, I kind of just accepted his presence as he snuggled down next to me after trying to get me to talk for the millionth time. I mean, even if I wanted to or could for that matter, what would I even say to a stuffy come to life? ‘Hi, my name is Emma. You are supposed to be an inanimate object and you’re probably possessed or I’m going crazy… more than what’s normal for what I’ve been through that is. Want to be friends?’ Something like that just didn’t happen, and I kinda just accepted the funny-looking but soft stuffy into my life. On top of that though, I began to realize I almost had a superpower of sorts. I couldn’t fly like the birdies outside or be strong like Nancy was, but I heard everything when most people thought I was just a shell of who I was. I was already seeing the stuffy come to life, but I saw so much more as well. I couldn’t really retain anything, but nonetheless, I still heard everything in the moment at least. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Gillies,” Miss Dee-Dee said while the other large scary woman looked down at me in the crib. I had since managed to remember Miss Dee-Dee’s name and I was so proud of myself. It was small, but I felt like such a big girl for remembering that she was called two names. Two was a big number after all. “She hasn’t changed since Tulia brought her in last week.” “Then I want you to do something different with her. Nancy is threatening to sue us or leave, and because it’s disrupting her work, they’re backing her up as well,” Mrs. Gillies, I guess, said harshly to Miss Dee-Dee. For once, I swear that Miss Dee-Dee seemed scared herself. “But it’s not my fault, Mrs. Gillies…” Miss Dee-Dee tried to defend herself. “It wasn’t my medicine that made her this way. It’s Brit…” “It’s Nurse Bee around here, Diana,” Mrs. Gillies rudely interrupted Miss Dee-Dee. I really wanted to defend my kind carer around here, but I could only just coo and let out a little fart instead. ‘It’s so funny when I do that… Miss Dee-Dee always changes me afterward and blows kisses on my tummy. It tickles!’ I paused, realizing I had lost track of what was being said above me. ‘Shoot! She’s saying something again.’ “…I know it’s really hard to work under these conditions, Diana, but we have rules for the staff here as well for a good reason. You know that, or do I have to remind you again?” “N… no, m… ma’am,” Miss Dee-Dee stuttered out. “I don’t n… need a reminder…” Mrs. Gillies smiled and rubbed Miss Dee-Dee’s shoulder. “That’s very good, Diana. It’s for your own good. Trust me. I’ll talk to Nurse Bee tonight and see if we can’t figure out this little glitch of hers. I think I can calm down Nancy and get to accept everything, but I’d prefer not to have to do that for other caregivers. Six Littles ending up like this is too much and you know I don’t like this type of outcome for our Littles.” Miss Dee-Dee nodded. “Yes ma’am. Of course.” Both looked down on me, smiled, and then walked out of my view. I was more than a little confused of what I had just heard, but I felt there was a big problem with someone called ‘Nurse Bee.’ I don’t think that Mrs. Gillies or Miss Dee-Dee wanted me this way, so maybe I had two other people on my sid… ‘Oh! Another toot! Feels so funny! Everything feels so squishy now! Squishy time! Squishy time!’ I cooed a little in my crib. The stuffy dog would be here any moment and Miss Dee-Dee would come back and remove my squishiness and… ‘Wait… wasn’t I just thinking about something that was said? Done to me?’ I really tried to remember, but another little toot came from all my straining to think. ‘Oh well. I guess if it was really important, I would have remembered it…’ So, all that kept happening. I would see something, panic and think about it, but then forget about it just as quickly. I might remember some of it later, which is the only reason that I could retain anything, but the most I could piece together was that Miss Dee-Dee and Mrs. Gillies wanted to help me out and were sorry and Nurse Bee was bad… I guess. Again, all super fuzzy, but like most things, I just had to live with it. It seemed that would be my life forever, but my new stuffed companion apparently just kept coming to me. Oddly, during one of the visits, I swear I heard a voice in my head and life in my limbs for the first time in forever… a week… a day ago? I really didn’t know, but it was there, or at least it was for a moment. I tried after, but only managed to make out another little fart. Now, I had never had a toy before… at least I think so, so I wasn’t sure why I kept getting this strong urge to hug this stuffy that kept dropping by. He certainly wasn’t new, and his stitching almost scared me, but he stuck by me. No matter what; diaper change, bottle feeding, cries… everything. He would always hide when Miss Dee-Dee or Miss Tully came to check on me and calm me down, but he was always back soon after. It wasn’t much, but he was someone I could cling to and rely on to be there for me in this place. So, when he came back to me one day and laid down for a while after I had arrived at the daycare late again, I didn’t really think anything of it, but was just glad he was here again. Almost instantly though, I heard something again buzzing in my head, but unlike the other times, I could almost make out most of the words. “Wake up… wake up… no one is upset with you… you are a good girl… just wake up…” just started playing over and over in my head. At first, I couldn’t make much of it out, but when I concentrated, by the third time it went through my head, I could hear almost as if someone were directly talking to me. Having just woken up from a nap, I could have sworn it was all just part of a dream, but as my eyes began to flutter open more to their still semi-relaxed awakened state, I heard something new this time. “Emma… wake up, Emma. Wake up for me… show me something… please, Emma… I will protect you… I will make it all okay… just please wake up…” I began to get excited. Hallucination or not, the patched stuffy dog seemed to be trying to reach out to me. There was no one else her, so it just had to be him. Being so far set adrift in a world of nothingness, it was something, so when he walked away from me again, I didn’t like it. So, I tried to muster all the strength I had inside and tried to will myself to do… say anything. Finally, I let out an “Uhhh…” The stuffy stopped and looked back over at me. First, I was elated that he had stopped. Even more though, second, I had made a noise. Having basically just been a passenger in my body for so long… ‘Maybe?’ I still wasn’t sure about things like that, but to me, all this now almost seemed like a miracle. I watched as the stuffy moved closer to me. He almost seemed just as relieved as I was, but as quickly as he turned around to see me again, he began walking away again. Not wanting for any of these miraculous new sensations or ability to go away, I let out another “Uhhh…” Again, the stuffy whipped back around to see me. I wanted him to do anything just so I could test more of myself out. Perhaps it was just a fluke, and I had some bad gas, always possible with a Little, but I just hoped it was something more… something longer lasting. ‘Had I finally found my exit from this locked-in state?’ Curiously though, instead of speaking to me, the stuffy only stared back for a while and then began to gather the blanket around me into a large pile halfway between me and the bars of the crib. In an instant, he went from looking at me to disappearing completely. I began to panic. ‘Where had he gone? He was right there! Is he a magic dog? Do I have some special magic dog just floating around and that’s why he can talk, walk, and I can hear him mentally?’ I wasn’t sure at all, but I definitely knew I wanted him back. So, frustrated, I dug deep and let out another “Uhhh…” To my relief, he popped out from behind the bunched pile he had formed. I still wondered if he was a magical stuffy, but I just cared that he was back again. Suddenly, I felt an odd sensation on my face. It was moving, near on its own and felt like it did when I cooed lately, but I still felt confused as to what it was. Seconds later though, my mind clicked into place and a deep memory popped to the surface and I realized I had no reason to panic. I wasn’t in danger. I was just smiling! Everything felt so joyous, and I just wanted to hug my new magical stuffy so badly. Moreover, I just wanted anything to happen to keep this progress going, and as if he could read my thoughts, his mouth slowly opened. “Emma…” My heart leapt for joy, and I felt myself smile even more. My magical stuffy spoke! I hadn’t just imagined it all, and I wanted to see or to hear more, but I was just so happy that a change felt like it was in the air. And, as if all that wasn’t enough, my magical stuffy walked over to me and nuzzled into my chest. Not being able to do much, but still wanting to acknowledge what he had done, I tilted my body a bit right into him. He didn’t say anything this time, but he seemed happy. That happened for a little while longer, but I could see that he almost looked like he wanted more. As if to confirm my theory, he then leaned over near to my face and looked right into my eyes. “Emma… you’re safe with me. I can be your friend if you want, but just please come out of the darkness. Come back to us, Emma…” As if a key had suddenly been turned, I felt new life within me. Sensations I had forgotten long ago came flooding back to me. My eyes, once so lifeless and still except for the keenest of observers, began to open wider as I looked back at my magical stuffy. “Oh Emma…” he said breathlessly. Everything felt so good… so new and exciting. I wanted to embrace it all and to my surprise, I even began to be able to wiggle about as my body started to awaken once more. It still wasn’t much, and I couldn’t win a race against a snail most likely, but even a little bit of something was still more as compared to when I had nothing. It was an absolutely perfect moment and I had never felt such joy in my life, or at least that’s what I assumed right then. But then something clicked within me. Now, just to be clear, as my faint recollections of my past began to flood in, I started to remember the basic stuff first since I had become like this. I remembered names and faces for the first time since all this began. Who they were was still hazy and I maybe could tell you the difference between the days, but the memories were slowly coming back. And while all that felt wonderful, I realized just how boring my life had become. It was a series of feedings, naps, diaper changes, and being hauled from one location to another. In all my memories, I could only remember being in this daycare, Nancy’s house, and her… ‘Car? Yes… car…’ I had the faintest sense there was more to life than that, but it was just beyond my fingertips. Still though, it was there, and it made me want more. Which is when I realized that I used to have more… and lost it. I wasn’t sure, how, why, or when at that moment, but I just knew I did. Seeing myself lying in this crib and being excited to do more than fart or cry was a serious blow to my happiness. My previous wiggles quickly stopped, and though I was getting my memories back, I was still very much the person I had become. So, with my emotions still in flux and triggered so easily, I broke… again. I deeply worried that this new issue would break me as it had before. I felt all the same sensations surrounding me and the loss that each of them meant. Everything felt so distant, but the images were still there of at least who I used to be on a large scale. I couldn’t remember things like street names or where I was a year ago but faces and things that I had done were becoming much clearer, so my loss now felt even worse. And, when all that began to fade again, I panicked even more. Tears flowed from my eyes, and I would have given anything to stop myself. I wanted an out, but I didn’t see anything. I was in the same room and even the same crib with the same sense of loss. I felt myself plummeting toward the abyss once more, but then I opened my eyes, and through the tears, I saw one difference: my magical stuffy. Hoping and wishing beyond and harder than I ever had before, I willed the last of my being into my arms and shot them straight out to what felt like the most recent constant in my life. I could have missed, and everything would have been over… but I didn’t. My hands clasped around his soft fury body, and I brought him right into my chest as tightly as I could. My tears were horrible, and I surely thought someone was going to help me, but no one ever came. Miss Dee-Dee, Miss Tully, or the volunteers here must have been on break or something, but that still left me. My magical stuffy was wonderful, but I just wasn’t sure if even he was enough. Suddenly though, like before, I heard something float through my head. “Easy, Emma… calm down and relax… listen to my messages… feel them… hear them… relax…” Surprised, but so relieved, I could feel my sobs began to fade out of nowhere. I knew it had to be my magical stuffy, and as such, I felt he was truly magical, so I hugged him even tighter. I felt a little fuzzy and sleepy right then, but at least my cries began to simmer. I had no idea what was happening, but as I gazed down to my magical stuffy, I just felt I had finally found the peace I was looking for. Never wanting to part with him again, I hugged him closer with one arm, but curiously, my other snaked up and my thumb planted itself right in my mouth. Never having the strength to do so before or the desire before all this, it was an odd and yet wonderous feeling. I never wanted it to leave my mouth again, but as my eyes drifted closed, I just felt happy that maybe, just maybe, I could find my way back to who I used to be. * * * Later that night, I was feeling much better, especially after I was able to wiggle my fingers after my nap, but back home, I could see that Nancy was in another one of her moods. I had been distressingly ripped away from my magical stuffy when she picked me up and now, amidst all the chaos, I desperately wanted him back. Further, having remembered some of my past now, I sadly knew that today wasn’t the first time that Nancy had come home upset. Remembering other times, I didn’t know much, but I knew I was a burden to her lately with the lack of my current abilities that she now had to deal with. Still, after my bath, I was snuggled into my jammies for the night and brought downstairs by a now calmer Nancy to my relief. I sat on her lap as we watched Squares and Letters, a show dedicated to younger Littles like me. There wasn’t much of a plot, and I drifted in and out from time to time, but tonight at least informed me, when I correctly guessed what a square was, that I was slowly getting better. Unfortunately, in the middle of the show, Nancy got a call, and I was placed into my bouncer carrier seat nearby to still watch the TV. “Yes, hello sir… no sir, I just got home and…” Her face quickly changed to one of concern and worry. “No sir, I didn’t mean to leave before my meeting was over but Emma and… I understand sir but I really need to… yes sir… yes, I understand that Littlecare is important to the company, but I need to find a way to make things work… yes sir… yes sir, I’ll be in early tomorrow morning… goodnight, sir…” Nancy then hung the phone and seemed like she was about ready to cry. I wanted more than anything to comfort Nancy right then, but as things were, I could remember what had just happened and that Nancy was having work troubles, however, that was about it. Right as I thought she was about to burst into tears though, her head snapped towards me. “You…” I had never seen her so angry before, let alone have it directed right toward me. With my newly rediscovered perception of the world though, I was never more scared in this house than right then. “You… you were punished by the daycare. I read the report, and you did this to yourself!” she spat at me. I could see the tears begin to drip down her face and I knew she was just speaking out of anger and frustration over everything, but I was genuinely shocked over what I was seeing now. “Mrs. Gillies said it was an accident and that you really couldn’t be held responsible for your actions, but ever since you came here, you’ve defied everything!” To emphasize her point, Nancy had even thrown her hands up in the air. “I mean, ever since that first day I met you… it’s just all been about you. You never thought any of us Bigs were right, and now, look at you! Probably can’t even tell if you’re wet or messy right now as compared to before. I bet if I checked, not even that long after I just changed you, you would at least be a little wet!” I wiggled just a tiny amount to see if I was wet, but I really couldn’t tell if I was or not anymore. I suspected that would take a long time to come back… if at all. “And now… I’m stuck with practically a newborn! What got into me to take you in? I must have been out of my mind when I did it. I should just return you to the foster home…” She paused and stomped her foot on the ground. “Damn it! They probably wouldn’t even take you anymore. You’re just a lost cause to pretty much everyone now. Ten years ago, newborns were all the rage, but now? I might as well give you freely to the institution up the street!” It was all a lot to process. I could tell this had been building up for some time, but to hear it all in one fell swoop… I felt like right on the cusp of everything turning back to normal between us, now, was crashing down all around me. For all I knew, in a week I would be locked up with the rest of the deformed or mentally damaged Littles in the nearby state institution. I still couldn’t remember much, but Garden Gate Hospital stood out in my mind as a place to avoid at all costs if any of the rumors there were true. So, tired, emotionally drained from my long and trying day, and now verbally assaulted by and scared of Nancy, my seemingly whole world yet who now seemed set on giving me away, my emotions simply gave way. I tried to hold them back but considering the earlier smile I had managed still felt like a miracle, I was useless to keep from bursting into tears. Unfortunately, Nancy was still upset at me and her whole life now. She tried to ignore me at first. She even walked away and plugged her ears at one point, but I could tell it was no use. I could see hatred and desperation in her eyes. “Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!” she lashed out at me. It was a terrible moment, but even through the blur of my own tears, I could see that Nancy was at her wits end as well and crying herself. For a moment, she even seemed shocked herself over what she had just said out loud to my poor tiny crying form and cupped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. She didn’t mean her words tonight, and I could see it in her eyes. It still didn’t take their sting or the fear they induced away from my heart, but it was something. It was something even more to see though as she leaped out and grabbed me up. “Oh baby! Baby! Please! Shhh, shhh. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry!” she lamented as she began to rub my back and bounce me around. I wasn’t sure I was emotionally ready to forgive her, but my infantile Little instincts were in the drivers seat still and began to lull my cries away. “Shhh, shhh, honey. I’m so, so sorry, Emma. I’m just so stressed. Easy there. Easy. I’ve got you.” My cries continued to quiet down. “There, there. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you. No one’s going to take you away. I was just upset, and I didn’t mean all that.” She then paused and sat on the couch as she transferred into more of a cradling position with me looking back up at her. “I don’t even know if you can understand me. I wish you could speak, but if you can still think, I’m just so sorry.” I probably could have said something, maybe even a ‘na’ for her name by now, but I decided to keep quiet still. I wanted to hear what she had to say first. “I took you in as a friend, but I didn’t think of the future. I should have and that’s on me. You were just an adult in your old life. All our commercials say otherwise, but I could see your intelligence when you read at least… then all that got taken away. Slowly, you turned into this… and I just wasn’t ready.” She paused for a moment and looked away briefly at some of my babyish equipment and toys that now littered her family room. “I should have talked to my friends more about you and what to expect, but I didn’t. I should have talked to my boss more, but I didn’t. That’s on me, and there’s no excuse. Punished or not, you put your trust in me, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I still don’t know if you can understand me, but maybe show me a sign if you can? Please, baby… something… anything…” I debated for a second if I should just let her wallow in her torment longer, as words didn’t always heal other words said before, but I saw the genuine look of apology and regret in her eyes. I saw the longing for forgiveness the most though, so, having a little more control over my body now, I decided to smile back at her. Not even questioning my newly required ability, Nancy lit up. “Oh honey! Thank you! I don’t know if that’s maybe even just gas, but I’ll take what I can get. Come here, baby!” She then held me close and began to rock me back and forth as she hummed a pleasant and familiar tune. I couldn’t place it for the life of me, but I was just happy over our shared tiny moment. Everything remained like that in such peace and quiet… but then my stomach began to growl. I just ate when I came home, but I guessed my stomach needed what it needed. Nancy quickly noticed. “Oh! I think someone’s stomach just growled at me, huh?” She then slightly adjusted me and prodded around with my diapered rear. “Hmmm… not messy, and you’re probably not uncomfortable, but what about being hungry? Do you want some food maybe?” She looked back at me and knowing my own needs and having the ability to communicate a little better, I smiled back at her. She chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” She stood up and walked away from the family room couch, stepping over a few of my leftover items on the floor. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you fed.” I was so happy. We were communicating much better now and Nancy felt like she was finally accepting who I was as a Little now. I wasn’t sure how long the peace would last, and I still had a long way to go myse… ‘Wait… where are we going?’ I watched as Nancy slowly walked me back upstairs instead of the kitchen to fetch me a jar of pureed Littlefood or to warm a bottle up. As we entered my nursery, I at least knew where we were going, but I still wasn’t sure why. Like the rest of my life, as we entered, my eyes were confronted with the notion that my room had changed as well. Unlike other Littles though, whose rooms were changed out of spite or humiliation most of the time, mine was changed out of necessity. The rocking chair was new, but comfortable whenever Nancy read me a story. The books, no longer read by me, or even held by me, had grown simplistic and overly colorful. A changing table, crib, and my wardrobe had all changed as well and everything had now been bathed in pink, purples, or some kind of pastels that blended in nicely. It was a wonderfully comfortable room, but I was still confused why we were up here to feed me. Sitting down in the rocking chair and cradling me back in her arms, Nancy didn’t seem satisfied with my position for far longer than normal. Once she stopped moving me around though, I was too low to be read to, yet too high to be spanked. It was extremely comfortable though, and I felt I could even doze off quite easily, but I still had to question it all in the first place. ‘Had Nancy finally cracked like I did? Couldn’t I have just been fed before she did though?’ As if to punctuate my pressing concern my stomach rumbled again. Nancy smiled down at me. “You know… Mrs. Gillies and I have been talking for a while now. She’s been a big help in making sure you were cared for with your new disabilities, but she’s been slowly suggesting other things that could help us bond better. One, I even bought pills for, but as it turned out, coincidentally, I found out I didn’t even need them a few days ago. I wasn’t sure if to tell you or not, but I think as a kind of recommitment from me to you, I should tonight.” I was still confused, but my eyes bugged out in further confusion as Nancy began to unbutton her shirt. I could feel the heat radiating off her body and I hoped that’s where it would all end. It didn’t though and I froze in shock as she unbuttoned a clasp on her bra and revealed her chest fully to me. “See baby… I’ve been thinking that I should become something more for you. I’ve just been torn between my work and home life lately, but tonight, I realized I really should be focusing on you. You need me right now, and if my job doesn’t understand in this world, I will just find another. After all, it’s not every day I try to start being a mommy to my Little now, is it?” she asked down to me. Her words were full of tenderness and her touch was as soft as ever, but I saw a twinkling of some kind in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but I soon realized that it was desire. She had shown it before, but now, her desire was to care for me and to be my new mommy. Yesterday, I might have just cooed at the idea, but today, I felt very different. Unfortunately, once again tonight, my Little babyish instincts began to take over right then. Maybe it was the smell coming off Nancy or the sight of her exposed nipples, but still without much control over my body, my face began to head right for her chest without question or much resistance. Being fully aware of everything and still feeling that something was off, though I couldn’t quite place it, I could only view my actions as an outside observer in silent horror. See, while my memory was still fragmented, I did remember a few things about Bigs and Littles, namely about breastfeeding. Just the situation in general was the stuff of most Littles nightmares, but there were also several facts about it, all interesting to observe but not necessarily witness firsthand. Chiefly though, I remembered something about the hormones in women Bigs specifically. Breastfeeding tended to form a bond they couldn’t break. It was similar for Littles, but the bond formed in half the time for Bigs. Worse, the bond tended to come with a few side effects, namely a change in the personalities of the women feeding their Littles. As my lips wrapped around her nipple, I could do nothing but watch in terror and panic over what was going to happen next. Horrifyingly, as my still regressed instincts took over, I found myself growing attached to the milky substance now trickling down my throat. It was difficult at first, and occasionally Nancy would wince and tell me “No teeth,” but my body just seemed to want more of the wonderous liquid. For her part, Nancy only just cooed at me and stroked my hair in clear contentment. Buried deep, I felt the liquid almost tasted like a milkshake and was the best thing I had ever consumed, but my newly awakened mind burned with the shock of everything that was going on. Before today, everything seemed boring but routine. I could have mapped the next years of my life out with no problem. Once I had awakened though, everything now felt like it was so up in the air. Nancy seemed so much more set on becoming my mommy, but conversely, I felt certain that I wanted more in this life. I wanted to run, play, and jump outside. I knew my path back was difficult, if not impossible, but my goals were still there. As I began to drift off and Nancy just continued to smile in near pure bliss down at me though, I had no idea if her possible new personality would even allow me to. No matter what, I just felt the tremendous weight of the future bearing down on me and all the uncertainties and challenges I was sure to face. For now, though, I just drifted off as I continued to suck down the creamy liquid.

Looks like a pacifier addict. https://pacifieraddict.com/

Like thedman, I have a problem with this. As I write, Mike has received only $111 of his monthly $400 request. A contribution on your part would be a thoughtful gesture.

Sometime a little over a week ago, I think it was a Saturday, the odometer on my permanently nappy-clad life clocked over 5 years. Any chronologists reading may already have realised that my blog on this is already well more than 5 years old and so my life in nappies must also be more than 5 years. This is true. I went into nappies full time in late 2018 but this only lasted a little more than 2 months before I went back into grown up pants in order to spend a few weeks working integrated with a short holiday in the USA. It proved to be my last ever annual month-long pilgrimage there for work as the world, and my world in particular was going to implode in 2020 but I didn’t know that then. Furthermore, if I’d known then what I know now about how to wear nappies as a grown up, I wouldn’t have come out of them for that trip. It was the first week of April 2019 that I put on a BetterDry in the Qantas Club lounge bathrooms at Los Angeles airport to stay in them ever since and that was a little over 5 years ago. Five years would have seemed like an impossibly long time back then but here we are. I think I was downstairs painting a garage at the time our planet completed its fifth orbit of our star whilst I peed in my pants. I forgot to celebrate, or even to remember. I think that’s emblematic for how things look like to me right now. There isn’t much “nappy news” to see on a daily basis and frankly, it’s sometimes tough to think about what there might be left to write about them. Frankly, I’ve found it to be a curiously flat milestone although this may well just be my general mood. There’s a bit going on right now in the “rest of life” department. So many other things have changed in my life over this 5 years that it’s hard to work out what, if any, changes are nappy-related. I still think I’m happier in my nappy. It’s hard to be sure because I’ve largely forgotten what it’s like NOT to be in them. For sure the thought of taking them of does induce some low-level anxiety but who’s to say that this isn’t a natural anxiety in the face how accustomed I’ve become, both physiologically and mentally, to semi-automatically peeing myself. There’s also some legitimate anxiety about keeping the marital bed dry. Speaking of marital, I’m still married. It’s not been without collateral cost and I think at 5 years, I need to accept that I have all the tolerance and support that I’m ever going to get (ie: not much). She still hates my nappies which means she hates an aspect of me and that eats away at me like battery acid. I thought I’d be more resilient to that but rust never sleeps. Back on day zero I’d just assumed that if I ever lasted as impossibly long as 5 years in nappies, I’d be totally incontinent and the burden of choice would have been alleviated from me. I would no longer have to CHOOSE nappies, I would simply NEED them. That’s proved to be not quite true. What I have is nappy dependence. It means that I need nappies for simple practicality. I need to pee far too frequently and with far too much urgency to stray too far from a toilet. This is now to the point where it’s too burdensome to remain dry whilst conducting something resembling a normal day. My nappies let me operate like a normal person, or even on some levels a bit better. It’s ME who can sit through the whole “Dune” movie but at the end of the day, I’m in nappies because I have made a weird choice. I could retrain. I have still not escaped the responsibilities of my strange choices. Having said that, there’s been, quite recently, one or two glimmers of something that looks like incredibly mild incontinence. There have been damp sneezes. There’s the bedwetting thing but some part of me knows that paradoxically, this is some kind of deliberate behaviour, albeit “deliberate” at a subconscious level where logic and strategy don’t get much airtime. The occasional decision to pee without waking up is coming from my brain, not my bladder though. There’s probably some volition-worthy choice points I could make that would avoid my occasional bouts of night swimming. I’m just not sure what they are. So where to next? Five years isn’t really that long, only half as long as Ivan Denisovich’s Gulag sentence in Solzhenitsyn’s novel and generally speaking, in my Gulag the catering is better. Year 6 I suppose. Perhaps something interesting will happen then. “Interesting’ of course, may well be more in the context of the apocryphal Chinese curse than “engaging” but we’ll see.

How many of you grew up wetting the bed? I certainly did. I wasn't reliably dry at night until my early 20s.

For me, I can never give up my diaper that's cause being an adult baby and incontinent, I am stuck in diapers forever and permanently. Not being potty trained and having incontinence is the reason why I can never, ever be allowed out of diapers. It's a part of my life and part of me that I am diapered no matter where I am. I'm perfectly accepting that I will always be diapered and babied. I feel completely comfortable being an adult baby and knowing my mom accepts me as an adult baby. She even allows me to have baby bottles and other baby things around me. I love being an adult baby because I can be an adult in my own way, and I don't have to be potty trained to be an adult, grown-up, and big kid. Diapers also prevent me and deny me the ability to be potty trained. It even shields me from the stressful adult world. They keep me young, diapered, and babied in an adult world. I just like diapers so much cause I am a diaper girl who can't be potty trained and trusted to stay dry.

I'm back! Thanks y'all for being patient during my hiatus. 💜 It's a Briana chapter, and she's got a sleepover planned with all her Little friends. Exciting! 18 Sleepover It was a gorgeous spring Saturday in the Rasmussen house. The windows were open to let in fresh air and birdsong. The wood floor of the house’s great room glowed in the late morning light, freshly polished. From top to bottom, the house was immaculate, far more so than during a regular Saturday cleaning. This was mainly due to Briana’s and her Round Table's efforts. Briana paced in front of the stuffies lined up on the living room couch. One by one, she inspected the chore each stuffie had been assigned. · Knight Captain Alanna: Responsible for beating the dust out of the rug – done. · Squire Beartholomew: Asked to put out a bowl of chips and a bowl of cut strawberries – done. · Sir Chuck the Giraffe: Charged with dusting the furniture – done. · Sir Mimsey the Bat: Tasked with putting away toys and arranging throw pillows and blankets – done. · Sir Arnold the Pangolin: Trusted to put plastic glasses and a juice pitcher on the coffee table – not done! “Sir Arnold the Pangolin, I’m very disappointed you’re not finished with your job.” Briana shook her head at Arnold the Pangolin. “Luckily for Sir Arnold the Pangolin, your Princess is in a good mood. Plus, there’s still time before our guests arrive.” Briana snatched Arnold the Pangolin up and sprinted to the kitchen. Mindful of her pretty pouf dress with its lace overlay, she and Arnold the Pangolin took the glasses on the first trip and the pitcher on the second. The dress and lace were black, so the grape juice probably wouldn’t stain her if spilled, but it wasn’t worth the risk. She hadn’t spent her morning getting dolled up like a Little version of her gothy mom only to ruin it at the last minute. All chores were finished, and the snacks were ready. There was only one problem – no guests! Frustrated, Briana trotted across the hardwood floors in her brand new black and white Mary Jane’s. The clicky-clack noise her shoes made was enough fun that she didn’t feel like throwing a tantrum when she found Veronica – Briana was merely impatient. “Momma!” Briana hopped on the drawing room’s plush rug, which didn’t make a fun noise but had a delightful squish. Veronica was sitting primly in a black leather armchair with her laptop on her lap. She took an interminably long moment to finish whatever she typed before looking up. “Yes, Baby Bee?” “When’s Grandma going to get back? She’s been gone for ages.” “Michelle had three Littles to pick up, all living in different parts of town. I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.” Veronica smiled. “I’m glad you’re so excited, though. Did you finish all your chores?” “Barely! Arnold the Pangolin was sandbagging again.” Briana did a twirl for the joy of seeing her skirt flare out. Twirling was almost as fun as being at eye level with her mom. It only happened when Veronica was sitting or crouching down, which made it easy for Briana to stay in Littlespace around her mother. Two friends on their way were petite as well, though not as tiny as Briana. Nobody in the whole Graduate school was as tiny as her. Arthur was the opposite of Tiny, which made the ease with which he slipped into Littlespace impressive. Briana wondered if she should have Alanna commend him for it or if he’d be upset to have his size brought up. “Briana, are you listening to me?” Veronica had set her laptop aside and took Briana’s hands, pulling the Little girl into her lap. “Sorry, Mom, I was thinking about my friends. I can’t wait until they get here.” With a happy sigh, Briana leaned against her mom and tucked her head under Veronica’s chin. “I asked if you needed a change before they get here, but I can see you’re too distracted to notice.” Veronica flipped Briana’s skirt up and squeezed the Little girl’s diaper. “You’re dry, good girl.” It was funny how something that had used to bring Briana to tears – being diaper checked – had become such a comfort and reminder of Mom’s love. “Melody is going to play with us, too, right?” Briana squirmed until she had her arms around her mom and gave her a tight squeeze. “They said they would, so it’s a promise, and they have to play with us.” “I’m sure your sibling will happily play with you.” Veronica kissed Briana atop her head. “They said they were looking forward to it. But they won’t be here immediately, so don’t be disappointed. You’ll have plenty to do when Michelle returns with your friends anyway.” “Oh my gosh – I mean Goddess – it’s going to be so fun! Thanks for letting me have a sleepover, Mom.” Veronica got a funny look on her face when Briana invoked the Goddess. She always had a weird look when Briana brought up the one thing in her life that Briana hadn’t yet gotten to experience. This time, it was just a look instead of a swat or a frown. Mom even gave Briana a little squeeze. There could be no better time to ask Mom, especially after Briana had been such a good girl with her chores. “Momma, can I go with you to the next esbat?” “Not the next one.” Veronica put a finger on Briana’s lips to silence her whine. “April’s esbat is scheduled for the end of the month, during the dark of the moon. It’ll be one of our more serious ceremonies, and it won’t be a good introduction to the coven for anyone, especially a Little girl.” “But Momma!” “Let me finish. Beltane will be at the beginning of next month and the perfect time to introduce my bouncy, sparkly daughter.” “Really?!” Briana’s enthusiastic hug squeezed a grunt out of Veronica. “Mom, that’s super exciting! Can Melody come if I convince them?” “Only if they really want to come, and not if they agreed because you were badgering them.” “Melody loves me and you too; they’ll come.” Briana hopped off Veronica’s lap and did three spins in a row, giggling. “Thanks, Mom! I’m going back to the living room, so I’ll be ready when Grandma gets here.” “Don’t forget that your grandmother is in charge of your sleepover. Jane and I will be here, but you’d better not come to ask us for something she’s already said no to.” “Mom!” Briana’s exclamation of shock had little effect on Veronica’s knowing look. Reluctantly, Briana nodded. “That was only one time. But I promise I won’t. Okay, love you, momma. I’m going to watch the door now!” ~~~*~~~ Twenty eons later, or twenty minutes later – who’s to say – Briana heard a car pull up outside the house. An excited squeal burst out of her when the door opened, revealing Grandma and a train of bashful Littles. Grandma Michelle was dressed in a sturdy blue shift dress and looked downright vigorous; her health scare from Christmas seemed well behind her. Briana hugged Grandma, Arthur, Fabi, and Ava, adding a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s hug. They were all dressed Little, too. Arthur was in shortalls that looked like regular overalls that had been cut off and hemmed. He had a backpack over one shoulder and a stuffed tyrannosaurus under his arm. Fabi was in a purple, short-sleeved dress with a crazy amount of lace under her skirt. Her bag was an adorable teddy bear backpack – she had an elephant stuffie clutched in one hand. Ava wore a rainbow tie-dye t-shirt and lime green shorts that didn’t do much to hide her diaper. Her bag was a laundry bag – she looked like she was having trouble managing it, her crutches and her teddy bear Brownie all simultaneously. Briana took Ava’s bag, then Fabi’s and Arthur’s, to not to single her girlfriend out. With an oof from the weight, Briana set the bags by the stairs. “Hi everybody, thanks for coming to my sleepover! We have snacks and juice and anything you want; just ask.” “You’re all welcome to have some snacks, but don’t fill up.” Grandma guided the Littles into sitting positions on the living room rug. “I’ll have lunch for you in a few minutes.” “What’s for lunch?” Fabi asked. “Lefse! You’re going to love it. It’s potato flatbread with butter and sugar.” Briana bounced happily on her padded rear at the chorus of aahs from her friends. “I know you all kinda met at my birthday, but did you get re-introduced in the car if you needed to?” Briana asked. “I can do introductions! Or we can introduce our stuffies.” “We had a chance to talk in the car.” Arthur chuckled. “Your grandma squished us all into the back seat of her car,” Ava said with a giggle. “Also, Brownie has already met your stuffies, but he’d love to meet Athur’s and Fabi’s.” “This is Elle!” Fabi scooted up to Ava, shoving her elephant urgently toward Brownie. “Hi, Ellie,” Ava said for Brownie, waving his paw. “I’m Tommy,” Arthur said in the squeaky falsetto he used for his stuffed tyrannosaurus. Briana giggled and grabbed her stuffed Lioness. “Alanna knows Tommy and Brownie but is very pleased to meet Elle.” “Brownie is a kshatriya, which is kind of like a knight.” Ava declared. “Are Tommy and Elle knights like Alanna is?” “Of course, I’m a knight!” Arthur squeaked for Tommy before switching to his usual bass rumble. “Sorry, Tommy, but you know you can’t pass the qualifications.” With Athur’s help, Tommy had a stomping fit on the Little boy’s leg. “I think Elle can’t pass the tests or whatever either.” Fabi cuddled her elephant close. “She’s not into scary stuff like fighting.” “Then Brownie and Alanna will protect Tommy and Elle if needed.” Briana declared. In response, Ava grinned, scooting over to Briana to bump her hip against Bri’s. The sweet smell of potato pancakes followed Grandma out of the kitchen. Though she had food on the stove, Michelle managed to pour each Little a glass of juice and check their diapers. There were lots of blushy giggles in Grandma’s wake, especially from Ava. When the pancakes arrived, they were as delicious as they’d been the first time Grandma had made them. Savory, sweet, and buttery tastes filled Briana’s mouth with delight and her tummy with warmth. Besides the clinking of plates, the room was quiet as the Littles devoured their lunch. Briana cleared the lunch plates without being asked – because she was the best Little girl ever. While she was doing that, Grandma whisked Ava away for a diaper change, redoubling Ava’s blush. Briana plopped down on the floor between Arthur and Fabi, pulling them both into a hug. “I have to tell you two about something a bit scary that happened to Ava.” Briana was glad to see her friends responding with curiosity rather than nervousness. She had the mellowing power of Lefse to thank for that. “Ava and I were out together the other day and ran into some anti-ABDL protestors. One of them pushed Ava over and hurt her pretty badly.” “What?” Arthur’s jaw dropped, his expression struggling between Big rage and Little Concern. “Is she okay? I mean, she looks okay, but…” Fabi trailed off nervously. “She’s okay now, but it was terrifying; we had to call an ambulance.” Briana sighed. “Don’t make a big deal when she comes out, because she doesn’t like talking about it, but I wanted you to know that mean people are getting aggressive with Littles.” Arthur sighed. “Great, one more thing to deal with in town.” Fabi nodded. “So much for ever going out, now that I’m full-time Little.” “No! We can’t let them win. I have a plan to fix it; we’ll talk about it when Ava gets back.” “Talk about what?” Ava asked, maneuvering deftly on her crutches ahead of Grandma. Briana squirmed out from between her friends in time to pull Ava into a snuggle as she sat. “Fixing what happened to you the other day.” “That reminds me,” Michelle said. “Have you ever heard back from the police, Ava? I know Briana hasn’t.” Ava shook her head. “Not yet, but it’s only been a few days.” “Oh, that won’t do at all.” Michelle pulled her phone out of her purse. “You kids, go ahead with what you were doing. I’m going to give the police chief a call.” Arthur and Fabi looked at Briana in surprise. Before Briana could answer, Ava shrugged at them. “Her family just does stuff like this.” “My family and I have a lot of privilege in this town – and I’m going to put it to good use.” Briana squeezed Ava. “What happened to Ava is not okay. I don’t like seeing protestors or people talking badly about Littles. We’re not hurting anyone. They’re the ones harassing and hurting people.” “What are we supposed to do about it?” Arthur frowned. “It’s not like you can take away people’s right to protest. Even if they’re protesting for something mean.” “Of course not, but we can keep them from hurting people when they do it.” Briana thumped a fist on the rug. “And if we convince people that it’s okay to be Little, they’ll stop protesting alone.” “You’re talking about an activism campaign?” Ava scooted away from Briana, frowning. “Briana, I can’t even see my old friends; I can’t go on TV or whatever!” Fabi whimpered. Arthur kept quiet, but he looked as uncomfortable as Fabi did. “I’m not asking anybody in this room to do public stuff.” Briana looked up at Grandma with a smile. “Well, maybe Grandma. But mostly, it’ll be me and my aunt Kiara – she already said she’d help.” “Then you’re just – warning us that you’re going public about this?” The look on Ava’s face said that they would have to have a big conversation about Briana’s plan. That was okay. Briana knew that she could trust her girlfriend to understand once she explained things properly. “That’s part of it, but I could also really use your help! There’s tons of stuff to do that doesn’t involve showing your names or faces. I’ll need help writing letters, calling people, making lists of people to call, making flyers, keeping track of donations, and all kinda stuff.” “You’ve really thought about this.” Ava looked more thoughtful than uncomfortable – a good sign! “Wow, Bri, that’s a lot. You seem kind of like that day you, um – ran into me downtown and bought me cocoa.” Arthur smiled bashfully. “You mean when I was Big and you were Little? Well, I’m still Little, but I can do this! We don’t forget stuff when we’re Little, right? If anything, I think we understand stuff better.” “I just sit around most of the day when I don’t have a babysitter.” Fabi squirmed, her diaper crinkling. “It’d be fun to have something to do, but I’m not a good organizer.” “You could put letters in envelopes!” Briana grinned to see an eager smile on Fabi’s face. “Yeah, I could! Um, could I put cute stickers on them, or would that mess up the plan?” “That would be perfect!” Briana grinned, reaching out to grab Ava and Arthur’s hands. To her delight, Fabi took Arthur and Ava’s other hands. “We can do this Little-style! So, will you help me, please?” “Of course, we’re friends, right?” Arthur squeezed Briana’s hand. “I’m in for decorating and mailing stuff!” Fabi grinned. “It’s scary that you’re going to be publicly ABDL,” Ava sighed. “If you could be careful when you’re out with me, I’d really appreciate that. Even if it is scary – I’m in.” “Yay! Thank you, everybody! Especially you, Ava, for being super brave. I’ll be as careful as I can, I promise.” Ava rolled her eyes, though she was smiling from ear to ear. “You’re lucky I love you, Looney Tunes.” Briana’s giggle at what she hoped was a new nickname was short-circuited by the phrase immediately preceding the name. “You love me?” Ava ducked her head bashfully. “That just slipped out, but – I guess I do.” “I love you so much!” Briana tackled her girlfriend, giggling madly and kissing her all over her face. Ava laughed back, clinging to Briana until they settled into a loving hug. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Michelle peeked into the back of Arthur and Fabi’s diapers, getting a squeak out of them. “Ava, I told the police chief that his inaction was disappointing. He knows at least some of the names of people that were protesting, but he didn’t want to bother them.” Grandma tutted disapprovingly at the police chief as she untangled Briana and Ava, checking their diapers in the process. “He’s motivated to bother them now. We should have a name and some charges for the person who pushed you soon, as well as a restraining order.” Ava sighed gratefully, leaning against Michelle’s leg. “Thank you, uh… Ms. Rasmussen?” “You can call me Grandma if you want, dear. All you darling kids can if you want. You’re Briana’s friends, after all.” She clapped her hands dramatically. “Now! You’ve got full bellies and dry diapers. Briana gave me a list of activities for the day, including a movie, a blanket fort, and playing Cloudland. Which would you like to do first?” “We can’t play Cloudland until Melody gets back.” Briana protested. “Then it’ll be one of the other two. We’ll let your friends pick. Ava, Arthur, Fabi, what’ll it be, couch fort or a movie?” “Blanket fort?” Arthur asked excitedly. “Yeah!” Ava and Fabi said together. “Then we need to get the coffee table moved to the side. Some rolled-up mattresses can go in its place. You kids get busy doing that while I get the sheets to drape between the couches.” “Got it, Grandma!” Briana grinned, tugging mightily – and uselessly – on the coffee table. With Arthur’s help, they got it moving smoothly enough that they didn’t spill any snacks. Fabi pulled mattresses into place while Ava rolled them out. The Littles were in a snuggle-pile on those mattresses with their stuffies only a few minutes later. Grandma stretched sheets from couch to couch, pinning them in place. She even put a pillowcase across the entrance between Mom’s armchair and a sofa, making a cute door flap. The inside of the fort took on a dreamy blue and green hue from the sun filtering through the sheets. “Fabi, get the snacks!” Briana fished an arm through the sheet-walls to pull the rest of her round-table into the fort. “This is so fun.” Arthur giggled. “I wish we could sleep under here tonight.” Ava nodded eagerly. “That is the best idea!” Briana kissed her girlfriend soundly on the cheek before looking up to shout at the sheet-ceiling. “Grandma, can we sleep in the fort instead of Melody’s room like we planned?” “You don’t need to shout, Little Rose. I heard you and Ava both just fine.” Grandma chuckled. “Ava’s idea is a great one. We’ll get your sleeping bags in there when it’s bedtime.” Resuming their cuddle pile, the Littles munched on chips and gave their stuffies a dance party. Briana was feeling extra snuggly regarding Ava after her girlfriend’s declaration of love. Happily, Ava was the same. They stayed spooned together every minute that they played in the fort. The sleepover was already the bestest fun since Briana’s birthday and promised to get even better when Melody arrived. Through all the snuggles and laughs they were sharing, Briana’s heart overflowed with love for all three of her friends. Protecting them and their magical time together was more important than ever. Briana couldn’t imagine the kind of person who could object to the fun they were having as Littles – but she knew they were out there. That’s okay! I’ll change their minds as quickly as Grandma changes my diapers!

Just to clairify one thing.. The one strike policy applies to stories involving minors. You won't get nuked for other rules.

mommy changed me out of a poopy tykables unicorns diaper 20 minutes ago. she changed me into a clean tykables overnights with a booster ready for bed. what she doesn't realise is that I did a nice long pee it 5 minutes ago. my diaper is nice and wet ready for night night. see you in the morning

No offense, but I think if you want to do something like this, you should be consulting with the forum mods and getting an advertising type forum added. This forum has always been about stories written for the general members to be able to see. Yes some authors have subscription platforms where chaprmtes are posted before they become free, but people are not trying to post teasers to sell their e books

Marry fought against the unending tide of pleasure that the vibrator forced on her. She would not cum in public. She gritted her teeth and kicked her legs. Yet, she was loosing the battle and she knew it. Her struggling turned frantic as she felt her body loose it battle to pleasure. "MMMMMM" she cried out as waves of pleasure forced itsway out of her right into her waiting panties. It took a few moments for marry to somewhat pull her senses back. Only their was a new promblem. The vibrator was still going. "Mmmph Heprh" Mary tried to beg for someone to come turn off the vibrator. Yet all that came out were unintelligible grunts quickly turning into the moans of a whore. Orgasm after Orgasm hit her as the vibrator kept forcing her senstive loins with unwanted pleasure. "Hi there! Its your turn sweetie." A condescendingly sweet voice broke through the pleasure. As she vaguely felt the stroller begin to move. Hope blossomed in Marry's now muddled mind. Maybe the vibrator would finally. That hope died as the vibrator kept going forcing her to cum again. They eventually made it to what seemed like a children's clinic sized up for adults. They passed by a waiting room and Marry noticed that their were no children's toy or chairs. Instead sybians replaced the colored chairs that would normally be in such a place, with restrains added on, instead of toys their were expensive looking plastic pony rides with a metal bar set in its centor. A young blong women dressed like an old fashion mom was reading a book in the only chairs, One plain white chair for each sybian, that were in the waiting room. On the sybian close to the womens chair was a girl dressed up in cutsy princess pajama accented by her diaper bulge. She had a red stuffy nose and was crying. Eventually Marry was wheeled into a doctors room. She expected to be allowed to at least move around, instead 2 caretakers carried her over to the examination table all the while a third caretaker kept the vibrator angled on her now ruined pink panties. "Hello. Little marry, I see your in good health. We just need to give you a few shots and you can be on your way to "messy" training." The man pulled out 3 syringes and begun to explain one each shot would do to the barely paying attention marry. "This first shot is going to regulate your weight. Once this has run through your system you will no longer be able to gain weight. Unfortunately, you will have to eat 2 to 3 times more then normal. It will also mean you will need more frequent diapers changes." Without warning she felt the doctor inject the needle into her. "This one is something of an aphrodisiac. It will enhance your sense of pleasure while reducing your sens of pain." Once again it was immediately injected into her. "Finally we have this third bit of medicine. It will reduce your emotional control and will hopefully make you have a few public tantrums." The final needle was injected in.

Just dropped in to state the obvious, for anyone who's reading this: I don't know how I would get through my day without wearing a diaper. My job has become so busy lately, I have no time to get and do anything, let alone go to the bathroom. My wife has been bringing me my lunch at my desk when she's home. It's nice that I can simply forget about the plumbing department until I stand up to stretch, and realize that my diaper has bulked up a bit. It's also been a crutch for me psychologically - when I have to focus on a task that's not at the top of my list of things to do, I think to myself, "At least I can wear a diaper while I do this..." I think she had gotten used to seeing me up here in my office in a diaper and a golf shirt, dressed for Zoom & Teams meetings where the horizon line is conveniently mid-chest, although with the cooler weather, I have been tending to wear trousers. But it's getting nice out again and we are drifting towards the "pants optional" months, so I shall once again be testing her tolerance. I'm still kind of self-conscious about pacifiers during the day, or really anytime outside of when I'm actually in bed, under the covers. I've accepted that when I'm sleeping and she's watching something on her tablet or phone, that she can see I have a pacifier going, although putting it in is the second last thing I do, followed only by turning out my bedside lamp. As I've explained before, it's at least partially for her benefit - she used to elbow me away some nights because I was clicking my teeth There was a stretch a while ago - a couple of years, actually - where I was working on a big, detailed project, and I started using one while I was concentrating, almost like chewing gum, but once I got back to doing frequent online meetings, I stopped using one during the day. Forgetting your paci is clipped to your shirt could be a career-ending move. I may implement it again - I did find it relaxing, although I don't know if I could "get over myself" enough to actually use it in front of anyone, when I'm not sleeping. I have wondered if a pacifier could be a weight loss crutch, again, like chewing gum - if I used one while watching TV, would I be less compelled to snack? But then I feel like I'd look absurd. But then again, I'm also generally sitting there in a big diaper, so... The ultimate invention would be a pacifier into which you could pour Scotch. Sort of the baby bottle equivalent of a shot glass, with a really tiny orifice... I shall begin assembling the blueprints for the patent office.

Looking at what you were intiatied into ABDL in, vs what you are getting rid of. They are not even related. If those were all I could get, I would quit too

I'm Kristin. Been in a DD marriage since 2020. In the beginning me and my husband lightly broached power exchange relationship dynamics and mostly joked about Domestic Discipline. During the Pandemic, when we spent most of our time at home just the 2 of us, the jokes of Domestic Discipline turned into discussions, and then serious consideration of beginning a Domestic Discipline marriage. We ended up giving it a try and it works extraordinarily well for us. We optimistically hoped for benefits and the benefits are better than we thought they could be. I am Taken in Hand (submissive) and he is the Head of Household (the leader). Basically, my hubby, as the leader, has the final say on matters, has expectations for me, and ultimately if need be, I am disciplined when I am in the wrong. This works for us. I've been curious about diapers since I was about 16, haven't dabbled much at all in it. Just have mostly read about it online and seen videos. Husband is very understanding, which is great. He's never made me feel like a freak for my curiosity of ABDL. In fact, he's said he sees it as a powerful form of bondage which could be used for discipline. So, he def understands the Diaper Discipline concept LOL. For a long time we thought about started incorporating Diaper Discipline into our established Domestic Discipline but have always tabled it. We're heavily discussing it once more. Talking to some others on DD / Dom/Sub forums has made me feel Diaper Discipline in Power Exchange Relationships isn't such an insane, unheard of thing. It's something that couples do they just don't discuss it much. Just like how my husband and I don't discuss Domestic Discipline with friends and family. Even this site I've discovered recently (https://dd-guide.webflow.io/) is all about couples incorporating Diaper Discipline. They claim over 1,400 couples are on there who actively implement it. Is Domestic Discipline something that's accepted here? Are there other people on here in a marriage like mine? Anyone with experience using Diaper Discipline? Thanks for your time Kristin

It's the time again. We're halfway through the month and no where near our fundraising goal. Please help push that meter if you can and want to help! https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/clients/donations/23-april-bills/

If adult baby prepacked starter kits were available (they could contain anything up to, eg a crib) in three sizes.. 5 items, 10 items and 20 items... What would your ideal starter kit contain?

Interesting that not long after you posted that I received their latest email. And there was this.... And at first, my brain registered this where it says trimmer fit: I'm guessing my brain registered that as saying the new fit is total shit.

Assume this is just a configuration error. Tell them that there seems to be a cert installed that doesn't match your domain name. When that is fixed, check your content and see if you can see any of the thumbnail stuff and delete it.

Bob, the pacifier's name is Bob.

@parkintochter Thank you a lot for your comment. @Little SherriThanks It isgood to hear someone likes my modifications. There is a lot more coming and I also finished about 1/3 of the planned spin-off. Annie

Tried my first one a week ago overnight. Absorption is very impressive, lasted me over 10 hours totally soaked and very swollen! Would not have been able to get pants on over it, at least my jeans. Only problem I have is the side panels are not as long as on other diapers. I barely got them overlapped on each side enough to tape them together. I also did not like the hook and loop tapes. They would not hold (I have the same issue with Beyond XP5000) and had to pin it on with diaper pins through the tapes. Otherwise from my using only one so far, the diaper itself is excellent! Just wish the side panels were a little longer and they had dual tapes instead of hook and loop.

I re-registered at the DNS about a week ago This is so alien, what do I tell my webhost?

Hi, that’s a very reasonable question! I apologize for not being more clear, like I was in my tumblr post. It’s always a pleasure to meet a previous patreon subscriber, so thank you for your support then and now. This book is a polished, improved version of the patreon series. I added probably about 5k words and rewrote a lot of chapters. I’m sorry I lack the ability to be more specific than that. This is just how I’m trying to manage after all our patreons got shut down — putting the content out there as books instead. And trust me, I do work hard to try to make the stories much better than they were before. But I understand if it’s not your thing under the circumstances. Thanks for reading!

Thank you so much Mikey! The more I look at it the more I think it's a pacifier addict too. I knew you would know which one it was. But it looks like they're out of stock of that one because I can't find it, unless I overlooked it. Which seems very possible.

I also just tried Incontrol BeDry diapers recently! 😁 I wear during the day and they last me 10+ hours easy. 🤤

Just got to reading the whole story, front to back, and damn, I feel so sorry for Varis. His life got completely turned around. And now Larry, that...I can't say it for fear of being banned, is now threatening him?! After the poor guy had his marriage dissolved, and people like Mike being condescending, and his whole life changed as a result? Varis is right: it isn't fair... But I'm glad Mari is still a rock, and Josh is helping a ton. But seriously, (censor) Larry.

Sounds like a New York Jets fan

I’d have to say that I have one foot firmly planted in the AB camp and one foot firmly planted in the DL camp and I have to say I love diapers !! Printed, non printed I don’t care as long as they’re wrapped around my crotch and I get to pee in them!!

After the highly embarrassing episode in the escape room Sam is in desperate need for a change. Thankfully there is someone on hand to help her out. --- My writing is my passion and my income. I'm only able to write as much as I do because of the wonderful support from my subscribers. With the ABDL purge on Patreon hurting my income dramatically I have set up a couple of alternatives. If you enjoy my work and want to support me there has never been a time where I need it more. For $5 you can see every update to my stories one week before anyone else and for $10 you get early access PLUS access to 50+ stories EXCLUSIVE to subscribers. There are other rewards and tiers available including discounted commissions. To find out more please consider visiting one of my subscription sites. Prices, rewards and everything else are the same across both https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy Thank you for reading and supporting me and my work ❤️ --- “What’s that smell?” One of the children with one of the other groups asked loudly. The room fell quiet as people sniffed the air. Sam was going red and she wished they could just leave. It seemed like Nina was about to steer her towards the exit when a woman in a Midforest uniform appeared in front of them. “I know that smell.” It was Karen. Sam looked up and saw the older woman looking down at her, “Come on, we can get you cleaned up before you go.” “N-No!” Sam stuttered. Sam already knew that Karen didn’t particularly think much of Sam’s opinion. Before anyone could react Sam had been hoisted into the air and held against Karen’s chest, she didn’t need to be able to see behind her to know her skirt had lifted up and was showing the sorry state of her diaper to anyone who looked her way. Sam struggled. She didn’t want to be changed by Karen again. They were finished with the activity and could just go home where she could clean up in peace and, most importantly, alone. She grunted and whined as she tried, without success, to pull herself free of Karen’s hands. “Wait!” Nina shouted. Sam was pressed against Karen’s chest and therefore couldn’t see what was happening. She did hear footsteps quickly run around to Karen’s front stopping the woman in her tracks. Sam was still squirming and trying to get put down. “I’ll take her.” Nina said firmly. Sam stopped wriggling and her eyes went wide. She never in a million years would have thought she would think this way but she really wanted Nina to change her diaper. If the alternative was Karen doing it then Nina it was clearly the better option. For once the idea of changing herself vanished. Sam seemed to just take it for granted that someone was going to do it for her. She couldn’t say she was wholly against the idea if it was someone she trusted. “I couldn’t make you do that.” Karen said, “From the smell of it this is going to be a tricky change. Not something a young woman like you should have to do. If you want to wait I’ll have her changed in just a few minutes.” “It’s not your choice to make.” Nina replied stubbornly. Sam didn’t know whether Nina was arguing for Sam’s body autonomy of if she was saying that she, Nina, was the one making that choice. Sam bit her lip and found that she liked the idea of her friend taking control of the situation like that. It felt like everyone else in the room had disappeared as a battle of wills developed. In truth, everyone was looking at Sam who was giving off the perfect picture of a little baby having her custody fought over by two women. “I’m happy to-…” Karen started. “Hand her over.” Nina said. Her voice brooked no argument. “If you insist.” Karen’s voice was slightly cold. Sam had never been so happy to be picked up by someone. Karen held her out and Nina took her with Sam reaching out her hands like a small child asking to be picked up. Instead of Nina’s chest Sam was sat on her hip. She could feel the poopy contents of her diaper shifting again but she could hardly get dirtier than she already was. Sam could see there were a lot of very confused people. None more so than her friends, Chrissy and Amy, who seemed to hardly believe the bizarre series of events they had witnessed. Despite the embarrassing situation Sam could hardly hide her smile as Nina adjusted her slightly. Sam noticed she was primarily looking at Karen though. “Come on, Sam.” Nina said as if Sam had any input in where she was carried. Nina turned away and carried Sam towards the bathrooms. Like each of the other places with toilets there was a dedicated changing room next to them and Nina was making a beeline towards that door. Sam looked back behind them and was faintly amused to see Chrissy haranguing Karen. “How dare you pick my friend up without asking!?” Chrissy was saying as Amy held her back, “If she wants your help she’ll ask! I’m going to report you to…” Sam didn’t hear any more as Nina carried her into the baby changing room and closed the door. It locked with a click and both Nina and Sam seemed to let out simultaneous deep breaths which then made them both laugh. Sam was expecting Nina to put her down as soon as they were in private but she was carried across to the changing table instead. Sam looked up at Nina with questioning eyes but Nina was smiling, she seemed to know what she was doing even if Sam didn’t. She reached down to the bottom of Sam’s rainbow shirt and after a small pause lifted it over her head. Sam raised her arms to make it easier for her. “You don’t mind me helping you?” Nina asked quietly. Sam shook her head. Far from minding it Sam was excited. With her shirt removed Sam slowly lowered herself down on to her back as Nina grabbed the waistband of her skirt and started pulling it down. Soon Sam was laying on the table in nothing but her heavily soiled padding. She was red in the face and found it hard to look at Nina. It seemed that by “helping” Nina meant she was going to do it all. Sam was surprised to feel very alright with that. Sam heard the tapes of the diaper pull away from the landing zone. The smell instantly intensified to near unbearable levels. The front of the disposable slumped down between Sam’s legs as Nina closed her eyes and looked away, it seemed to be less to do with what the inside of the diaper looked like and more to do with the stink. “Sorry.” Nina said in a strained voice, “I don’t want to make you feel bad, it’s just… wow.” “No, I’m sorry.” Sam replied in a rather dejected voice, “I should be able to do these things without embarrassing myself and you guys.” Sam was feeling rather sorry for herself again. Even if she was a bit more accepting that she was different than she had been at the start of the vacation she still felt that she was a horrible burden. Fortunately it didn’t take long for Nina to recover and start cleaning. Sam felt that mix of embarrassment and excitement that she always seemed to feel around Nina these days. The soft touch of her fingers as she used the wipes to clean her left a trail of tingles. “You’re allowed to breath you know.” Nina said with a smirk. It was only after Nina had mentioned it that Sam realised she had been holding her breath. She let out a deep exhale and laughed nervously. She didn’t think she could be blamed for not knowing how to handle such an odd situation. “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this…” Sam said with a shake of the head. Nina simply smiled as she continued her work. There was a lot to clean up and Sam spent the whole time playing with her fingers and feeling like she should be doing something to help. She wondered what her other friends thought about all of this. She must seem like the biggest baby to them. “It’s actually not as bad as it seems.” Nina said as she gave Sam a last few swipes with a clean wipe and then pulled the soiled diaper away. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” Sam replied. “No, I’m serious.” Nina shrugged as she taped the used diaper into a ball, “Once the initial surprise passed it was pretty easy. Something I could get used to.” Sam felt herself blushing. Was Nina talking about when she had her own kids or… “Right, I’ll just tape you into a fresh one and we’ll be ready to go home.” Nina said as she pulled a diaper out from under the table. It turned out the changing rooms at Midforest were all well-stocked for diaper changes. As Sam’s butt was lifted into the air she realised she could probably have told Nina this wasn’t necessary and that since they were going back to the lodge she probably didn’t need a fresh diaper. She also realised that she wasn’t saying anything and as she was lowered on to the fresh padding she felt content. A feeling that only grew as the diaper was pulled up between her legs and taped closed. It was a feeling of safety, a feeling that she didn’t have to worry about making it to the bathroom. With the new diaper in place Nina picked up Sm’s shirt and pulled it over her head. It seemed that Nina had taken everything into her own hands. She even helped Sam back into her skirt once she was off the table. “All set?” Nina asked once Sam was dressed. “I think so.” Sam replied. She looked at the door and grimaced, “What will the others think about… everything?” “I think they’ll just be happy that you’re OK.” Nina replied, “And you shouldn’t worry about anything. If they were going to be asses about any of this they would’ve done it by now.” “I guess so.” Sam shrugged, “It’s just not… normal.” “Normal is overrated.” Nina replied, “I’ll show you.” Sam was about to ask what Nina meant but she was already walking over and lifting her up. Sam yelped as she left the ground and clutched on to Nina’s wrists with her small hands. She gasped as Nina spun around and then held Sam on her hip like a child. Sam’s cheeks went pink as she tried to work out how she should react to any of this. “Most people would say it isn’t “normal” to pick up another woman and carry her around like this.” Nina said, “But you just watch me.” Sam was given every opportunity to tell Nina to stop but the increasingly confident woman’s control was intoxicating to Sam. She bit her lip as Nina unlocked the door then she stepped out into the lobby area. Sam saw that Karen and the other employees were still there, in fact, they were welcoming the next few groups who were going into the rooms. On the far side Amy and Chrissy were leaning against the wall. They definitely looked confused about what they were seeing as Sam was carried across the large room. “Ready to go?” Nina asked cheerily. It seemed that Amy and Chrissy were not as prepared to act like everything was normal as Sam and Nina were. To be fair to them, they had just seen their two friends, one of whom had massively pooped herself, disappear into the baby changing room and then come back out with one of them sitting on the other’s hip. It was even more unusual when compared with Sam’s usual disdain for anything even vaguely childlike. “Sure.” Chrissy said. She almost sounded defeated, like she had been trying to work out what had been going on and utterly failed to do so. --- If you want to find out what happens next you can do so RIGHT NOW at either of the following links: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyymi677/chapter/8fd4aa8f-6392-477b-a352-81d409b477a9 https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1262441

@DAQThat post was an inspiration for what I was thinking of, but it was limited to top tier diapers. I am interested in as many different types as possible.

They entered another room Jerry recognized. Nominally it was a bedroom, though he didn't know how much actual sleep occured in it. A massive, corner posted bed sat in the middle, made out of elegant carved oak wood, and a dresser sat beside it. From there, anything "normal" changed. The blankets of the bed were lifted just enough to show a wooden dog cage underneath it, and the headboard and foot board both had slots for a head and two hands or feet. Handcuffs dangled from another corner, where he saw more then one submissve locked as they were given enemas or suppositories, and then often left until they lost control and filled their diapers. He knew behind another door was a full adult sized nursery with a 'crib' that included a locking top. If he was lucky, he may end up there for the night. If not, the dog cage waited. He cringed. Even with all the play he had done at home, it was embaressing to think that his "lucky" option was sleeping locked in an oversized baby crib on camera for strangers to comment on. She pulled Jerry toward the bed and lifted lifted his hand up into the air. He heard a snap, and felt his hand being pulled toward the top corner. She grabbed his other wrist and did the same. Jerry groaned as he was stretched out, spread eagle into the air. She bent down behind him, and he felt her pull his legs to the side. "Good sissy, give me your foot," she said. He groaned again but obeyed, and he felt her space his feet apart with a bar and attatch them to the foot of the bed. He tried to wiggle pull at the chains, but found them unbreakable. She stood up and rested a hand on his bottom. "Good sissy, though a bit whiny with those groans. Nice to see you just give up and let me tie you to my bed. What a good, spineless little sub." "Hmph," he said. "You don't have to say it out loud like that, ma'am." She chuckled. "Don't pout, we all know you are enjoying this. You look like you're about to burst the tapes on your diaper." "HEY!" he shouted. "Are they comfy? And inescapable?' He pulled at them and wiggled again. "Yes ma'am." She laughed again. "Good. Normally we'd tie you into the stocks for this, but I'm afriad if I left you bent over it be too hard NOT to spank this adorable little bottom," she squeezed him through his diaper "So I guess you'll stay standing and stretched out. Just wait here while we clean you out and pick an outfit for you." "Clean me out? What do you mean, ma'am?" "Aww silly baby. What do you think that means?" From behind the bed she held up a large, red rubber bottle with a long tube stretching from it. "An enema?! No please ma'am!" Jerry had remembered the discussion earlier, but thought complaining about it again might add to any vidoes they may make. As much as he hated having his punishments streamed to a wide audience, he also loved having his punishments streamed to a wide audience. As he had no way to avoid it, he decided to let the second part take over for now. She smiled. "Yep, you're going to have a nice, big, warm soapy enema, and you are going to hold it until you are begging me to fill your diapers. You think you'll do that? Beg me to fill your diapers?" "No..." he said. "Oh you will. And you're going to behave like a perfect little angel until I decide you can release, or you'll just be cramping all day. Then you'll get to spend the rest of the day in your dirty diapers, sound fun?" "No please! No no no!" Jerry started wiggling again, making a show of fighting against his bounds. Mistress Joana ignored him, and pulled down his diaper. "No no no," he said as the tube penetrated inside him. "Errrr," he groaned, and looked back at her as she lifted the bottle high into the air. Immedietly the warm water hit him. He groaned as he felt his insides turn to make up for the new weight, and cramps hit him like a wave. Within seconds, he was yelping and panting out loud as his stomach grew. He gave another wiggle, knowing that the cameras were recording his bottom and each pathetic whine and shake. "Ma'am please! It's so much!" He begged, with tears in his eyes. "Good! Then you'll have all the more reason to obey and to fill your pampers for our fans." "No..." he whined, and shook again. He had seen dozens of subs experaince the same in these videos. The most popular ones were always the loudest, whining and complaing as they took the painful cramps. Part of him told him that then, in order to ensure as few people saw his humiliation as possible, he should try to remain calm. However, within seconds it was impossible, and he was whining. Then, and entire new part of him spoke up. He remembered all the humiliating messages, the teasing, everything comments said about the misbehaved subs being punished for their ammusment. He had watched those vidoes and read the comments with excitment, daydreaming about being in the same situation. So, his excitment again overwehlmed him, and he instead exagerated the punishment, moaning and struggling as much as possible. If he had no way to avoid giving them a show, he'd give them the best one. The idea of that, and even the knowledge that he was enjoying, made the humiliation increase, but that only made it even more exciting. He pulled at the chains again, knowing they wouldn't break.

Chapter 16: I Got Away With That? Kris was a little shocked. None of his siblings had commented about him needing to get changed, but he also didn't care. He was happily enjoying his ice cream he and his mom stopped for on their way to meet the family in the shuttle waiting area. Kris was a little confused at first, wondering why no one had any bags. Then he remembered what his mom said about him being able to change into underwear when they got to the hotel. He didn't fully understand how their bags got there but assumed that must be where they were, and that's why they had to accept that lady's help. They all got packed into the shuttle to their hotel. Kris was happy it was a bus. That meant he wouldn't need a booster seat. The ride was uneventful, it was a short drive to their hotel. As they pulled up, all of the kids couldn't help ooo and awe at the sight. They hadn't been on a family vacation before or stayed at any place that seemed this fancy. It almost felt like they were royalty. The whole place looked unreal. The kids could see different characters from some of their favorite films spread throughout the lobby of the hotel. The main lobby was so large and beautiful that they felt tears welling up in their eyes. "Are we staying here!?" Sam pulled at her mom's shirt, excited about making it to Disney World. "Yep, we are going to be here for the next week, and you are going to see your favorite princesses and characters from all of your favorite shows and movies. We do need to get checked in first, and get ready to head out, so can you stay with your big sister while daddy and I get us checked in?" Sam's eyes lit up with excitement, this was going to be the best thing ever! "Okay!" She ran off to join her siblings over in some of the lounge chairs as they each looked around the breathtaking lobby. "I bet you're excited to get out of that diaper," Tammi spoke towards Kris, keeping her voice low. "I'm sorry you went through that. It must've been a lot for you." Kris was lost for words, so he simply nodded as he blushed at his sister's remark. He felt small and exposed. He wanted to just forget about what happened, but his sister's words at least made him feel a little better. It seemed like his family was slowly starting to get the idea of how hard this had been for him. "I just want you to know, I got your back. I promise." Tammi's words were meant to be a comfort, but to Kris, it felt like an empty promise. He's heard those words a thousand times by now. Each time, it only took a matter of days, or even minutes before he found out it was just words, empty and meaningless. "Thanks." Kris knew he couldn't take her at face value; he would have to see it for himself before he could let his guard down. "Alright, kids, we got our room. Let's go." Kevin came over, holding a few key cards to access their designated room for the week. All the kids quickly stood up from their chairs and ran towards their parents, excited to see what magical place they would be staying in during this trip. Kris ran up in front of the rest, wanting to get into the room as soon as he could. He was excited to see what it would be like, as well as getting changed and showered. He wasn't sure if he'd have time to shower, but he still felt a little dirty from earlier. He hadn't noticed that Tammi was quick behind him, but not rushing past him. *** They ran into the room, throwing the door open, not waiting for their parents to enter. Normally, doing something like this would frustrate their dad, but he just smiled, seeing the joy and excitement on the kid's faces. The room was a masterpiece; every detail was themed around one of their favorite movies. They saw the theme spread throughout the carpet to the couch in the living room. It splashed in the kitchen, and they could see posters and picture frames with different artistic drawings of their favorite characters. They ran down the hall, realizing the place was way larger than they had ever imagined. Their suite had two separate bedrooms. If this was what hotels were like, then they wanted to stay at one every weekend! The kids came running back to the living room, where their parents and suitcases were. "This place is awesome!" Sam shouted in the suite. "Can we stay here forever?" Everyone giggled at Sam's question. "No, sweetie. This is just our home for the next week while we have fun at the park," Kim replied lovingly to her daughter's energy and excitement. Kevin walked over and grabbed his suitcase. "Alright, kids, you get the bedroom over there; there are two queen mattresses, so boys, you get one, and girls, you get the other. No fighting. Your mom and I are taking the other room over there." "Okay, Dad!" the kids responded, grabbing their bags and running off to check out the room they'd be sharing. The kids playfully pushed past each other, each one wanting to be the first into the room. Kyle managed to stay in the lead. He was built a little larger than the rest of the kids, making it harder for them to get past him. Swinging the door open, Kyle and the others saw the playfully decorated room. Each bed was furnished with to match the rest of their suite. Decorated in characters from the movies, with each bed having a painting hanging above the beds. "I call this one!" Kyle yelled, swinging his suitcase onto the bed by the window. He was waiting for one of them to argue, but none did. "That's fine with us; we're closer to the door," Tammi replied with a slightly mocking tone. Being closer to the door meant faster access to the shower in the morning, easier bathroom access, and the first ones in line to leave. Kris followed suit and tossed his suitcase up on the bed next to Kyle's. "I'm good either way, I'm just glad we are here." Kris began to unzip his suitcase, excited to put on underwear instead of wearing a diaper. He flew the top of it open, seeing the pack of nighttime pull-ups sitting on top. He quickly ignored it, he knew he had to wear them on the trip, but at least that was only during the night. Pushing them aside, he began to look under them for his underwear. Kyle's face turned a slight shade of red; he looked down towards the floor, avoiding eye contact with anyone, afraid they'd see right through him. His heart pounded in his chest. How is Kris going to react? How much trouble is he going to get in for this? Would his sisters hate him for being such a jerk to Kris? After all Kris had to go through? He never thought things would play out the way they did when he pulled Kris's underwear out of his suitcase. He never thought Kris would have had an accident like that on the plane, and now he was in a diaper meant for babies. Even though they had their issues, he couldn't help feeling guilty for ruining his brothers trip. Kris felt confused. Digging through his suitcase, he couldn't find a single pair of underwear. Did he forget to pack them after the argument with Kyle? He thought for a moment that maybe Kyle took them out. "Nah, he might be a jerk, but he wouldn't stoop that low. Would he?" Kris thought. "Even if he did, there's nothing I can do about it now. I have no proof, and Dad told us not to fight. All this would do is get us all in trouble and start the trip off on the wrong foot. I'll just go tell Mom, and we'll get me a new pack of underwear. She told me she had my back." Kris closed the top of his suitcase and went into the living room, leaving his siblings in the shared bedroom to unpack their things into the dressers and closets available. "He's going to go tattle on me, isn't he? That's it, this trip is now ruined for the both of us." Kyle thought as he placed his things away. Out in the living room, Kris saw his mom grabbing another suitcase for her and Dad's room. "Hey, Mom, can I chat with you for a second?" Kris approached his mom. He hoped she would be understanding about the situation. She did promise him that he could wear underwear when they got back to the hotel. "Sure, Bud! What's up?" She set the bag back down and motioned her hand towards the couch in their suite. Kyle heard Kris ask their mom for attention. Worried and confused, he peaked his head around the corner to try and listen in. Normally, if Kris was trying to get someone in trouble, he'd go to their dad. So why did he bug Mom? "I think I left my underwear at home. I can't find it in my suitcase at all. I must have forgotten them." Kris spoke softly. He didn't want to be too loud for the others to hear. He felt embarrassed for forgetting to pack one of the most important items. "Wait! He thinks he forgot them?! No way!!" Kyle felt a rush of relief flood through him. He wasn't going to get in trouble. Kris didn't know. Kyle turned around to go back to the shared room to finish packing when he saw his older sister standing behind him. "I know what you did." She told him sternly. Kyle's eyes got wide with surprise. He tried to play it cool, but he felt his heart racing. "I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to walk past her, but was caught on the arm as she grabbed him. "You took his underwear out. You're lucky, he doesn't know it was you," she whispered into his ear. Kyle just looked at her, waiting to hear what she wanted, or what she was going to do about it. He knew she had no proof, but that didn't change the fact that her telling anyone could ruin the trip and break any trust among them. "You better have his back this entire trip, if you ruin this trip for him by picking on him, I'll make sure Dad knows who exactly to blame for Kris's misery" Her tone was cold. Kyle had never seen his sister like this before. The only one who had a demeanor like this was usually their Dad. "Listen, I didn't do anything." Kyle tried to deflect, pretending to keep his cool. But Tammi wasn't having it. She pulled him in closer, her facial expression becoming one of intense intent. "Okay! Fine, I have his back. I was going to anyway." Kyle's face fell, one that looked a little guilty, his cool demur finally breaking. "After that plane accident, I feel it's the least I can do. No one should go through that at his age." "Good." She released his arm, her expression softening. "Any idea what Mom is going to do about it?" "Do about what?" Kyle still wanted to play dumb. Even if she thought she knew, he couldn't give away any signs of actually committing the "crime". "His underwear." She stated sternly, feeling tired of his act. "No idea, I didn't hear. I only heard that he forgot to pack his underwear." Even if he was acting like he didn't take Kris's underwear out, he wasn't lying either. He stopped listening after he realized he was in the clear. Kyle walked back to their shared room, leaving Tammi in the hall all by herself. She quickly followed suit to finish unpacking. All the while Kyle's heart continued to race knowing full well this trip was already on thin ice.

“What?” was all Jennifer could manage to get out. Poisoning her? Poisoning her how? “She, she gets confused when she comes out of it.” she explained when she had found her tongue. But she couldn’t get the words out of her head for the rest of the day. The accusation hung over her head all the following week as well, and the weeks after that. Hortensia hadn’t said anything more on the subject and Carol had taken her word for it, but as they sat at the dinner table, another untouched plate in front of the preteen, Jennifer started to wonder. “Tens, we need to talk after dinner.” Jennifer said. “I didn’t do anything.” Hortensia mumbled, elbow resting on the white dining room table cloth, head propped up by her fist. “Yes you did!” Matilda said. “What did I do?” Hortensia argued. “What didn’t you do?” Matilda insisted. “We can talk about it later when Matilda’s in the bath.” Jennifer said. “Tell me now.” Hortensia said in a bored voice. “I don’t care.” Matilda looked up from her plate, hopeful to hear what trouble Hortensia had gotten herself into now, but Jennifer only shook her head. “Later.” Hortensia made a dissatisfied noise. “You can’t just drop a, ‘we need to talk’ on me.” Matilda giggled. “She thinks you’re breaking up with her.” “I do not!” Hortensia grumbled. “Can’t you tell me what it’s about?” “We have a meeting at the police station tomorrow.” Jennifer said. Hortensia’s eyes briefly flicked over to meet hers before looking away. “Matilda, if you’re done eating, please go upstairs and get ready for bed.” “Bed? It’s only six!” “I didn’t say you had to go to bed, I said please go get ready for bed. Take a bath, brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, read.” Matilda slowly slid off her chair and turned to leave. “Put your plate in the sink, please.” Without a word, the plate rose into the air and into the sink before she made her way up the stairs, visibly sulking as she did so. “She’s going to be a handful when she’s a teenager.” Jennifer said, but Hortensia didn’t react. “Why do we have to go to the police station?” Hortensia mumbled after a minute of silence. “I think we’re meeting with the detective, I’m not sure. I just want you to be prepared in case they start asking you questions.” “I don’t know anything.” Hortensia said softly. Jennifer gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s difficult to talk about, trust me, I know, but it’s important they have all the information.” “I don’t know anything.” Hortensia repeated. Jennifer didn’t believe her. There were too many injuries. Too many inconsistencies in her story. Too much pain in her eyes. And the odd erratic behavior. She knew. Drugs or no drugs. She knew. “Okay.” Jennifer said. She wouldn’t push her. “Can I ask you something?” Hortensia wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Are you aware you’ve been, what’s the word, dissociating?” “I don’t know what that means.” Hortensia said into her still full plate as she moved mashed potatoes back and forth with her fork. “Spacing out… intently.. to the point you…” She could see the girl freeze in place even without actually verbalizing it. “Hey, It’s okay.” Jennifer whispered. She could see her eyes growing glossy. Jennifer had obviously struck a sore spot, but it was time it was addressed. She had tried to fish for answers on numerous occasions, but all she had ever accomplished was shutting her down even more. So Jennifer had held her tongue and passed on her symptoms to her doctors, but even she was growing more reluctant. More and more medication was being added, which left her scrambling even more trying to distinguish symptoms from side effects. Repeating words of others? Side effect. Switch medication. Fixes problem. Mood Swings intensify. Increases medication. No energy. Lowers medication and adds a secondary pill. Stomach ache. And on and on it went. But it all still hadn’t fixed the original problem of the trances. Not a side effect. Get referred to a neurologist to check for seizures. Not seizures. Told the source is psychological. Referred back to Psychiatrist. Same run around with the accidents. Everything had healed and there was nothing physically wrong. Which was a relief, in a way. She didn’t have a head injury from the attack, no swollen blood vessels ready to pop, no hemorrhages, no lesions. She had dotted her i’s and crossed her t’s, but It had caused a bit of contempt in their relationship. Doctor’s appointments, medicine, nappies and food. That’s what they always fought over. Not homework, or curfews and bedtimes. Hortensia mumbled something unintelligible before pushing her plate aside and burying her face in the crook of her arm on the table. Her shoulders began to rise and fall as her breath came in great heaving sobs. “So you are in there?” Jennifer asked gently. Hortensia nodded. “Would you tell me what’s going on when it happens?” Jennifer asked. She got up from her spot on the table and came around. “I feel funny.” “Are you upset when it happens?” Hortensia shrugged. Her psychiatrist said it was stress triggered, her way of escaping a difficult situation. “Is it because you’ve had an accident? Are you panicking?” It’s what she had always assumed was going on. Because it didn’t seem like arguing with her set it off, lord only knew how much they fought, and not once had she froze as an out. (And give Jennifer the last word in an argument? Ha!) No, she had never seen Hortensia retreat from any visible stress. She had seen her freeze during dinner while being forced to eat, and while doing lessons, and while yes, that could be seen as a stressful situation, she had also seen her freeze mid Mario Kart race, but she had been doing terribly, crashing into walls and such ( even Jennifer had managed to keep her cart on the track) so maybe losing to your headmistress was considered a stressful event. But, sometimes she just stumbled onto her like that, slouched over on the couch or lying in bed. Or sometimes, she’d smell her from the kitchen and she’d know what she’d walk out to. The soiled nappies were the only constant. Usually she was just wet, but sometimes… she wasn’t. It was… difficult, cleaning those up. Usually Jennifer would put her in the shower and stay with her until she woke up, but sometimes it wasn’t an option. And it wasn’t like she had to clean up every bowel movement. It was more like once a week. Her fecal continence had come back, well mostly. (Rest In Peace to her second favorite throw pillow) Jennifer had enacted a new rule. “No one is allowed to run around in their knickers.” “It’s just like a big pad that wraps around. It’s really not that different.” She tried to say. At first it was only when they left the house, but after a few mishaps on the rug and the couch, she had made her keep it on. “But the heat!” Hortensia had protested. So she had made the rule in solidarity. If Hortensia had to roast, so did the rest of them. At least it was cooling down now. Jennifer had gotten rather lax around the girls and had found herself downstairs…not prepared to receive company. The markings on her skin no longer even garnered a second glance from either of them. The summer had been an unbearably hot one and one horrifically miserable night had left them all downstairs in their knickers as Hortensia lamented to Matilda about how terrible getting boobs were. Matilda hadn’t responded, she had been nestled tight against Jennifer’s chest despite her hot, sticky skin and was utterly sacked out. Jennifer hadn’t minded. She had laid on her back and stroked the girl's hair from her sweat streaked face. “I’m going to be sad when she’s too old for this.” Jennifer had said softly. Hortensia glanced over for a moment and resumed her drawing. “How old is too old?” “I don’t know. Nine or ten?” Jennifer could have sworn she saw something on Hortensia’s face then, but maybe she only imagined it in the dark room with only the telly to see by. Maybe it had only been wishful thinking. She had been glued to Jennifer for the first three days she had come back, but then as things settled down she had gone back to her usual ways of keeping her arm length away. She was hesitant to touch her even now, sure Hortensia would smack her hands away or scream obscenities before locking herself away in her bedroom. “Would you tell me what’s gotten you so upset?” Jennifer asked softly. Hortensia shook her head, still hiding her face in the crook of her arm. “Is it about tomorrow?” Shake. “Tens, please talk to me. I only want to help.” “You can’t. You just make everything worse!” Jennifer bit back a frustrated sigh. “How am I making things worse?” No response. “Tens?” “You just do.” How helpful. “Would you answer my earlier question?” “Wh-what question?” She mumbled followed by a wet sounding sniffle. “When you have an accident are…” Jennifer trailed off as Hortensia’s sobs intensified. Ah. “It’s okay, Tens. Really, it is.” she whispered. “It’s not okay!” Hortensia wailed. “Tens, is this why you’re starving yourself? To try and avoid having accidents?” Hortensia shook her head, but she wasn’t sure she believed her. “You need to eat. Starving yourself is only going to make you more miserable. If you have an accident, you have an accident. It’s not the end of the world. You don’t have to be afraid.” “I’m not afraid!” Hortensia growled. “Then tell me what you feel when it happens.” “Tired.” Hortensia mumbled. “Tired?” Too tired to get up and use the bathroom? No. “What else?” “Dizzy, and sick, like I need to lie down.” Interesting. She did often find her sprawled out. “So you feel it coming on? These…episodes?” Nod. “And then what happens?” “I don’t wanna talk about it.” Came the mumbled response. No. She was shutting back down. It was so difficult to get her to open up. “It’s important.” “I don’t wanna talk about it.” “Tens, please don’t shut me out. We need to get to the bottom of this. If it’s stress, that’s fine, but I need to know there isn’t something else going on.” “Leave me alone!” Jennifer sighed. “Tens, you can tell me what’s going on. No matter what it is. I’m here for you.” She placed a hand lightly on her back. “I love yo-” Jennifer gasped in pain and held her stomach. That little… Hortensia had taken her elbow and slammed it into her stomach. Jennifer grabbed her wrist and held it up before grabbing her chin and forcing her to meet her eyes. “Look at me! I don’t care how upset you are. We do not hit people!” Jennifer said. “Don’t touch me! Let me go!” The girl began to wriggle out her grasp. “Then don’t hit me!” Jennifer shouted back before releasing her. “Don’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mom!” She was glaring daggers now, not in defiance, but rage. “One more word out of your mouth and you’re going straight to bed!” Jennifer turned away and leaned over the sink like she was going to be sick. She took a deep breath before turning back around. Hortensia was pacing back and forth in agitation like a bull ready to lunge. So it was going to be that kind of night. Jennifer opened the cupboard and grabbed a bottle of pills from the top shelf. She slowly shook one out in her palm all the while staring pointedly into her face. Night night Hortensia. “No. No. I’m sorry. I’m fine.” Hortensia held up her hands defensively. Twenty minutes and she’d be out like a light. Her medication to pull her out of a rage attack worked a little too well. Getting her to take them was another story. It was like trying to give a cat a pill. Sometimes the sight of the bottle was enough to calm her down if she wasn’t too far gone. Other times she needed Matilda’s help if she felt like Hortensia was a danger to herself or others. Psychic powers really came in handy pinning her down in an emergency. An elbow to the gut would have earned her a tablet, but Jennifer wanted to salvage the conversation. “Are you?” Jennifer asked, a note of skepticism hung in the air. “Yes!” Hortensia said, eyes rolling and voice thick with enough attitude and resentment that Jennifer debated giving it to her anyway. “Are you going to sit back down and talk to me?” “I don’t want to talk to you!” “You can drop the attitude, take a seat and answer my questions, or you can take your medicine and go to bed. Those are your options.” Hortensia made a series of whining noises and stomping gestures befitting a child half her age. Jennifer had had enough. She pointed to the back door. “Go. Outside. Twenty minutes. Go hit your bag or something, I don’t care. Just go.” Hortensia remainted where she was, glaring defiantly up at her. “GO!” Jennifer yelled. Finally the girl began to move, not towards the back door, but further into the house. “Where do you think you’re going? I said go to the backyard!” “The lou!” “No, you’re not going to the lou!” “I have to pee!” Jennifer knew her better than that. It was a stalling tactic. She often said she needed to pee before disappearing for twenty minutes. For someone clever enough to tape a Gameboy to the inside of a toilet tank ahead of time, you’d think she’d be smart enough to turn the volume down. “You can hold it for twenty minutes.” “No, I can’t! I really need to pee!” But she exhibited no outward signs of distress that Jennifer could see. No wigging, squirming, or dancing. She was calling her bluff. “Good thing you’re wearing a nappy then. Out!” “No, I’m not!” Hortensia lied despite the clear outline under her shorts. “OUT!” “FUCK YOU!” Hortensia screamed. “I HATE YOU!” She stormed out of the house, slamming the back door on the way out. Jennifer collapsed into the nearest chair at the table, passing the prescription bottle from one hand to the other. Place one tablet under tongue as needed for outbursts. Her vision began to blur. She felt like she was failing. Hortensia was slipping away more and more everyday and there was nothing she could do. Was this normal preteen behavior? She stared at the bottle and debated taking one herself. The thought of a dreamless, drug induced slumber sounded like heaven. An intrusive urge to dump the entire bottle in her mouth buzzed around in her head like a fly that kept returning no matter how many times she batted it away. Eventually, she stood up and put the bottle away, save one tablet which she slipped into her pocket just in case. For Hortensia, she told herself before setting the kettle on the stove. She had just finished pouring herself a mug of tea when the doorbell rang. She stared at the clock before deciding to ignore whoever it was. Now wasn’t a good time for company. But the doorbell rang again. And again. And again. Feeling irritated, she went to the backdoor to make sure Hortensia wasn’t playing a trick on her, but she was outback with her punching bag where she was supposed to be, not hitting it but holding it against herself in a tight embrace. Jennifer frowned. She debated going out there, but they both needed time apart to simmer down, so she wiped at her eyes and decided to see who it was that couldn’t take a hint. Jennifer opened the door to find her neighbor who lived across the street from her. He was a short, balding man with gray hair and glasses who fancied himself as a type of neighborhood enforcer. She would often see him going through the neighbors rubbish bin, making sure they recycled and calling the cops for any excessive noise. “Mr. Fern, “ she said, plastering a fake smile on her face. He made no move to return the gesture. She let her smile fall and waited for him to talk. When no words came, she began with “Is there something wrong?” “Unfortunately, yes, there’s been a number of break ins along the street in the last few weeks, myself included. I'm going door-to-door to warn the others. I know it’s just you and the girls, so I wanted to let you know the neighborhood’s not safe anymore. Please make sure you lock your doors and windows.” “Oh.” Jennifer said with a frown. Her aunt had installed a security system in the midst of one of her manic episodes, but Jennifer hardly remembered to set it before bed. “Thank you for telling me.” He nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Did the police ever find out who was responsible for vandalizing your car?” “Oh, that. Just some neighborhood kids.” Jennifer lied before letting out a nervous chuckle. “I work at the school. Easy to make enemies when you’re the one handing out punishments.” “I thought you teach little kids?” he asked skeptically. “Oh, I used to, now I’m the headmistress. But breaking in? That's terrible!” He must be having a field day. Maybe now he’d stop harassing her about her rubbish bins not being a full meter from the curb. “How did they get in? I hope they didn’t break your window.” “No, um” he looked away, seemingly embarrassed. “I left my front door unlocked.” “This isn’t a ‘lock your doors’ kind of area, I understand.” At least it used to be. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard about an actual robbery being committed on her street. “What did they steal?” He frowned at her question. “Nothing valuable.” “What kind of burglar doesn’t steal anything valuable? He wasn’t a very good burglar then.” “It was more unsettling.” He explained. Jennifer nodded. The thought of someone coming into her home uninvited and going through her things sent a chill up her spine. “They only took…” Please don’t say knickers. Please don’t say knickers. “Food.” She gave him a confused look. “Yeah, I think my wife scared him off before he could root through the place. Came downstairs and found some guy rummaging around in the fridge. She didn’t get a good look at him, ran upstairs and locked herself in the bedroom as soon as she saw him. He was long gone before the cops arrived. Only thing missing was a bag of deli meat and a jar of pickles.” “How odd. Do you think it was a homeless man?” “No, I think he was just brazen enough to make himself a snack before turning the place. It reeks of confidence. I think he’s done this before and didn’t expect to get caught. Mrs. Prett said she’s missing 200 pounds out of her desk drawer.” “How horrid! That's a lot of money!” She exclaimed. Her couple of years living destitute had taught her to appreciate living modestly. The most expensive thing in her home she had bought was the Nintendo 64 she had gotten the girl’s to celebrate her one year anniversary with Matilda. It was a much adored purchase by both children and the heartache of coming home from school to find someone had broken in and stolen it would break them. Not to mention it was her and Brian’s main tool to slip away unnoticed. Other than that, a burglar would be rather disappointed to break into her house. She had either sold, or given away most of her aunt's possessions, except the odd pieces she knew her aunt had an attachment to, like her Precious Moments porcelain figurines she kept in a glass cabinet. Those she smashed with a hammer in the backyard while the girls cheered her on and laughed. Hortensia had the right idea, smashing things to bits was cathartic. “JENNY! I NEED TO PEE!!” she heard bellowed from the back followed by the backdoor slamming shut. Jennifer winced. “Haven’t seen her in church for a while.” He said with a sniff. “Might behave herself better if you went to her church instead of your own. I bet she misses her church family.” What she missed was her real family. “We don’t go to church.” she said automatically. He looked scandalized at the very thought. “Well that’s why she’s misbehaving! All that yelling coming out of your house. She’s crying out for Jesus!” Jennifer’s eyelid twitched. “Take her back, see if she doesn’t straighten out. She never acted this way when her momma was around. She would have smacked that attitude right out of her.” It had been a rough few weeks. The whole street must know she had some kind of behavioral issue with her hollering. Police had even been called several times anonymously to do a welfare check, thank you Mr. “Your-Bins-Aren't-Two-Meters-From-The-Curb.” “You know Eve?” She asked. She didn’t even know he had known Hortensia before. “How well?” “We’ve gone to the same church for the last ten years.” Jennifer’s lips pursed. He went to that church. The one Hortensia had gone to. The one where Hortensia had been… And he wanted her to go back? “No, it’s not safe there, haven’t you seen the news?” Her posture had gone from defensive to offensive as he spoke. “Oh, that’s a lot of bollocks. I know him, he’s a good man! He’s the pastor's son! That family has been a part of that church for generations. Someone’s trying to run his name through the mud. It’ll all blow over once the police realize it’s just some kid telling stories. It’s all a lot of bollocks.” Jennifer’s eyes began to blur. “There’s a kid in my house going through hell because of him.” She said through clenched teeth. “Her?” He rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment in thought. “That explains things.” He didn’t say it with pity, but with understanding. “She’d be the type.” Jennifer’s jaw dropped. “Look, I’m not accusing her of anything.” He held up his hands. Jennifer gritted her teeth in anger, fighting the urge to slam the door in his face. She was an adult. She could control herself better than this. “This is a good man’s life we’re talking about. He’s an absolute staple of our church community, and Hortensia, well, she clearly has her problems. We want you to be sure, you know, before you do anything hasty. Wouldn’t want you to make a big deal of this and it blows up in your face.” “So this is why you’re here? To intimidate me?” Jennifer asked. “No, not intimidate you, just to, you know, warn you. I wouldn’t want you to go through all this for nothing.” “Go through all what?” “Well you know, victims of this kind of crime usually get their reputation trashed just as much as the perpetrator. Her history with these kinds of stories and behavior are going to come out.” “Are you threatening us?” she demanded.“She’s only eleven-years-old for bloody sake! She’s just a kid!” “I’m just telling it like it is. Everyone hates lawyers for a reason. Eve’s asked us all to keep Hortensia in our prayers for her behavioral issues for years. Any damn lawyer worth his salt is going to find that out.” So much for “Eve would have smacked the attitude right out of her.” “Do yourself a favor and drop the whole thing. Even if it did happen, other people are pointing fingers as well. Let them bring the case forward and save yourself the trouble.” “You need to go.” Jennifer said. She was shaking now. “You come here with your fake story about a break in, pretending to care about us, and threaten me.” “No, no, that part was real, which reminds me, where was she two days ago? Where does she go when she goes out on her bike?” “You said it was a man.” Jennifer had her hand on the door, ready to slam it shut. “They were in a hoodie, and like I said, she didn’t get a good look at him.” “It wasn’t her; she hates pickles!” She said before swinging the door shut. She stood in her living room for a solid minute shaking with silent anger. How dare he. How dare he. To accuse her of lying. As if she could fake those injuries… To accuse her of breaking into people’s houses to rob them? An eleven-year-old-girl? She went to the backyard to see if she had come back yet, but surprise, surprise, she hadn’t. She peeked in the downstairs bathroom, but she was nowhere to be found. Someone’s earning themselves an early bedtime, she thought numbly as she climbed the stairs. She peeked in her room, but she wasn’t there either. She paused in the doorway and sighed. So messy. “Have you seen Tens?” Jennifer asked, coming into Matilda’s room. “Is she hiding in here?” “Restroom.” Matilda said. She was lying on her stomach with her feet curled behind her, an open book resting in front of her “Ran in while you were coming up the stairs.” Of course. “You’ve earned yourself a restart of your twenty minutes.” she called, knocking on the bathroom door. “G-go a-w-aw-way!” Jennifer grimaced and softened her voice. “Would you come out so we can talk?” But there was no response, only sobbing. “Can I come in?” “Go away!” They went back and forth for a few minutes before Jennifer gave up. “Okay Tens, I’ll go, you can come out when you’re ready.” She went into Hortensia’s bedroom and sat on the bed and waited. She wondered if she was still crying over their fight, but when a cold chill came through the room and she looked up to find the window open, she had a feeling she wasn’t so fortunate. She stood up and slammed it shut. He was standing across the street in his front yard, watching her. He waved. She shut the blinds. She needed something to distract herself so she bent and started tidying up. Why was there so much trash in here? All these Crisp wrappers and banana peels. At least she’s not eating only junk … She bent and picked up a half empty bag of sliced bread. Odd taste in snacks, but okay. And then she decided to move the bed away from the wall. Food wrappers of all kinds fell to the floor. “Hortensia…” Jennifer sighed and bent down to start scooping it up. She was obviously hoarding food, but…why? And not just junk, but bread, yogurt, and granola bars. There was an empty protein shake for diabetics, a half eaten tomato, and cottage cheese. And then she saw it. The pickle jar. Jennifer sat on the bed, put her face in her hands and cried.

I'm with you SWet. I'm 75 too. Anyday now, I'm going to stop loving being diapered. Too funny!!

More than welcome...

I would imagine so. But there are other ABDL things that can be used for discipline, such as pacifiers, onesies/bodysuits, one piece pajamas, baby reins, and simply language.

I have another diaper dream to enter into the annals: My wife and I were on vacation somewhere tropical, and a cruise ship was in port, and somehow, we got invited onto the cruise ship for a tour. We walked around the ship - it was quite lavish, almost baroque. I recall taking a moment to wet my diaper while we paused to view a Titanic-esque dining area replete with giant chandeliers. Then we got invited to use one of the pools, and we were given a quasi-public space to change in, it seemed like a coat check room, or something like that. Magically, I now had my bathing suit with me, and I stripped off my clothes and put on the swimsuit. I distinctly recall carefully un-taping one side of my diaper, sliding it down, and then folding the tabs in on their nonstick parking spots so that I could reuse the diaper later. I recall noting that it was now wet, and not looking forward to putting it back on, but, I didn't have any other options. I somewhat awkwardly tucked the diaper under my clothes and left them on the floor in a corner, and then we went down to the pool. The diaper was an unidentified white plastic one with tapes - if I had to say what it was, I would go with a MegaMax or a BeDry. We were sitting around the pool when we suddenly realized that the ship was moving, so I went over to a crew member and asked what was going on. He said that it was too windy to stay close to shore, so they were headed out to sea. I said, so, are you docking anywhere else around here? And he said, no, we'll be at sea at least for a day or two before our next port of call. I panicked - we were leaving our hotel room, bags, everything behind, we didn't have a room on the ship, and, I only had ONE already-wet diaper with me. The conclusion was that we were going to be allowed to sleep in that coat check room - kind of them - but that I was going to have to go down to the shopping area on the ship and see if anyone sold anything approaching diapers. I recall thinking, but deciding not to say out loud to my wife, that I might have to buy the largest baby diapers they sold, and then use them as stuffers, and wear the diaper I had on for the next 48 hours or so, and thinking that I should be careful with the tapes. And that buying diapers in a cruise ship gift shop was going to be expensive, if they even had them. (In real life I know that giant cruise ships have expansive [and expensive] shopping areas and would at least carry baby diapers, and probably also adult pull-ups, but in my dream I was thinking I'd be looking for a dusty old bag of Pampers parked next to the sunblock on a small shelf in a store that primarily sold t-shirts). I was very distressed about being on a cruise with one outfit and one diaper and only a coat closet for accommodations, and that's when I woke up to find myself very happy to be in my own bed - and, in a wet diaper (a BeDry Night - still in it). I had evidently peed during the dream.

Hello dear readers The next chapter is ready. This time it is the first chapter that is a complete rewrite and has more new ideas in it than the last two ones. As always I would appreciate it if you find the time to write a short comment. This one is also quite long I hope you like it this way. I could have split it up halfway through but I like longer chapters when I read stories. So this has about 10600 Words. Annie Chapter 3 -Shopping and Swimming - New friends for Lila The sound of someone opening her diaper tapes woke her up. She was still lying in her bed, but someone removed her blanket and her pyjama. Oddly, the girl also noticed she was sucking on something. Without thinking, she was trying to get back into the warmth of her bed. “Wait Lila, my baby, I am still changing and cleaning you up.”, her mum whispered while holding her back. And as someone took a cold and wet wipe, starting to whip her front clean, she suddenly opened her eyes and stared into Mum’s eyes, noticing it was her thumb that she was sucking on. She took it out as fast as she could, hiding it as if it was a big secret. “Don't be ashamed, you were doing that for the last thirty minutes or so. Maybe we should get you a pacifier.”, she explained, not sounding serious. Suddenly her legs were lifting while she proceeded to whip her bum, took the dirty diaper away, and placed her on a fresh one. “You did not want to wake up, so I just started changing you because we really should head downstairs for the breakfast buffet.” As her mum flipped the absorbent underwear up her belly, her daughter tried to raise her head and saw how her mum closed the sticky tapes, securing it in place. When done, she lovingly caressed her belly. “Remember, you have your mum’s permission to just go if you feel you need the potty. No more itchy toilets for you, at least for this week.”, she mentioned her discussion from the morning again and gave her a final kiss. Just wearing the plain white padding between her legs, she got up and gave her mum a good morning hug. For some seconds they still stood there enjoying each other and the little teenage girl did not want to let her mother go. “Look, I have already unpacked your stuff.”, the adult presented the cupboard filled with her kids-sized clothes. With a short smile, she also noticed that her parents seemed to have packed most of her older colorful, and childlike stuff in the front while her cool school T-shirts were hidden in the back. “Can you dress yourself or do you need help, my little darling?” Lila looked in her mother's face and without asking she felt mum's hand tucking her into a denim overall and slid on a new shirt. You are ready for breakfast, she announced, putting her onto her still sleepy feet and heading downstairs to the morning buffet. ### As they entered the big shopping mall, the little girl was astonished by the variety of shops that this air-conditioned place had to offer. At home, they headed to the same places all the time, and Mum and her daughter already knew most of the shops and were never so surprised or astonished by new products. Here, on the other hand, everything was unknown and exciting and for the first two hours, they ended up trying every Outfit they got their hands on. There was even a big kid and teens section with a lot of colorful and funny shirts that both of them liked a lot, even if the small teeny had to admit that such an outfit would not be the best for their coolness rating in the school community. Her parents also got Lila some new shorts and dresses that the little girl liked, even if they were always on the childish side, and they had more space for Lila's new absorbent underwear. In the end, Lila and her mum were quite happy with their selection in their shopping cart, and her mum heard a whisper of thanks from her girl. “Look what they have here”, Mum called her child over as she showed her some kind of Panties made of a plastic-like material. “What are these?”, she asked the still-excited adult. Not convinced that the Panties will be comfortable to wear in the summer heat. “These are baby panties, but they seem to also have them for bigger kids here.”, her mother explained. “They are made of an odor impermeable layer and should help to keep your poopy smell at bay when we cannot change you, or you are sleeping.” The girl's face changed to red like a traffic light. “Mum!”, she stumbled, still ashamed of her mentioning her recent accidents. “Honey, at least it would be a great idea for the flight back.” “Can I help you?”, a young-looking shop assistant came over, offering his help? He was still in his late teen years and clearly just some years older than Lila. “This is our weekly offer from the special needs section. You can have 3 for the price of 2, and we have sizes all the way up to the small adult size, with nice patterns for older kids or teens who need a little extra help.” he explained. Please don't say they are for me. The teeny immediately wished her mum would be discreet enough to hide her current potty habits. “We should really try some of them”, their mum announced. “Would you do mummy a favor and choose some of them for your twin sister at home?”, she offered her child, a way to hide that the panties would be for her. “Yes, it's always best to have someone young to choose, the kids do know best what is nice and what they don't like.” “What prints do you want? Look, we have cartoon-themed ones here.”, he now showed her a big variety while his little customer suddenly noticed that the covers seemed quite soft and would maybe not be too uncomfortable. “I like this pattern.”, she suddenly started to talk to the young man, letting him offer some more similar items. Especially for the colder nights at home when she ... needed to go. But at home that would never happen, she would go back to wearing her pull-ups that barely held one of her regular bed-wetting accidents. Lila took three of them that she actually liked, and slowly walked over to her mum while suddenly noticing her need to pee, and when she relaxed the not-too-uncommon feeling of wetness spread just for a second. I do not even have to stop walking if I have to go, she thought. “That's a nice selection.” her mum praised her, putting the panties in the cart. “It's a pity that we are on vacation and cannot buy more today, we could also take a look at the nice sleepers over there.”, Mum complained to the shop assistant while she looked at all the childlike clothes that they had to offer. “Oh, sure. But we are opening stores with departments like this in every big city.”, he announced, and was clearly back to his sales pitch. “So you may also find us in a city nearby wherever you live”, and he handed Mum a flier with all the planned stores and how to find them. “Do you also have diapers on offer, I think we run low on them as well?” “Oh sure, we have them over there next to the baby diaper aisle.” Lila had always walked through diaper aisles as fast as she could because she still could not risk that someone found out about her little nighttime secret, that the pull-ups that ended up in their cart were actually for her. But now she could risk looking a little closer. She was in a different city, after all, and she could always blame it on her imaginary twin sister. From normal baby diapers to pull-ups to teen and kid-sized pampers and plain white adult incontinence underwear, she found everything. “You will need something to protect her skin … her mum talked to herself, seeming to forget the world around her and enjoying that she could shop for Lila. “And maybe some of them as well”, she added as she grabbed some packs of baby wipes and a tube of barrier cream, placing them into the shopping basket. When she headed over to get her child some more diapers, she could have easily bought the same brand they were using right now. But since the store has such a variety to offer, she wanted to take a look at all the available alternatives and if there was something better on sale. While she was astonished by the different kinds of teenage pull-ups and bed-wetting panties that could easily be mistaken for actual underwear, she discovered something else: ‘You want your child to feel dry again all through the day or night.’ She read an advertisement that advertised some pampers-green bags with a girl, in her daughter's size, laughing and having fun. ‘Up to 12 hours of absorbency now also for your older kids and teens’, was printed on the bag. She took it in her hands to look at it. It was unmistakably designed for older children like Lila, she concluded as she turned her bag and saw all the different prints and designs. Not too babyish, but still cute and with cartoon characters that would appeal to a little girl who still wets her bed or needs protection during the day. We would not even need to buy the teen version, her mum noticed as she glanced at the size indicator that was placed on the side of the package, imitating a size scale reaching from 5 years up to 18 in four additional steps. From older Toddlers, Kids, and Teens to Young Adults, this brand seems to offer tape-on diapers for all ages. We still would have time with her, going to the potty came to her mind as she noticed that Lila would easily fit into the child's size. And the price also was in the range of the medical diaper options that she wore right now. She looked over at her child instead of hiding as she did at home, her daughter was discovering the aisle on her own. Slowly waking over from the pull-ups she bought at home to the bottles and pacifiers that they offered here. Her mum did not want to interrupt her, but she still wanted to get all their things sorted out so that they could finally have something for lunch “Honey, look what I found here.”, Mum called her, showing her the bag of diapers. “They might be nicer and better than your current ones.” She raised her head shyly, came over to her, and looked at the package. In contrast to her medical diapers, these did not look like boring plain white diapers for grannies. Instead, a colorful childlike design greeted Lila, while she also noticed that they were apparently a lot thicker and would suck up all her pee and there would be fewer worries about leaky accidents like she had on the trip to the aquarium. But on the other hand, they were much more obvious when she wore them under her normal teeny clothes. “Oh, they have nice prints on them.” she finally saw as she turned the packages and immediately fell in love with the design. There were her favorite cartoons and animals again dancing in the front and back, so she closed her eyes and smiled. It would be embarrassing to wear if she would be at home, but here she could slip back to being the carefree little girl she was before she was 13 and had to play being an adult. Yes mummy, they will be great for me, she responded. When you are on vacation, did you see that they also make swim diapers for your sister? The shop assistant suddenly was back offering another bag to Lila's mum, still maintaining the white lye her mum told despite the discussion between them which he had to be able to hear for sure. They were the same brand. Swim diapers for older kids - Play safe at the pool, was written in big letters announcing its content and a boy that was maybe her age or slightly younger was having fun at the pool while posting for the cover. And a little info box at the bottom informed them that they are mandatory for all diaper-wearing children who are not completely potty-trained. “Mum, do you really think I need them.”, she asked, thinking about our hotel pool and the fun she could have at the waterslide. “Yes honey, don't you want to worry less about going potty in your diapers?”, she insisted without forcing her daughter. “But aren't they just for babies making poopies while swimming in the pool?” “You had two big poopy accidents in your diapers this week, so you should use them just in case you need to go while you are having fun splashing around. And you are so relaxed, carefree, and like a little child that I actually don't expect you to try to hold in anymore.” I was becoming red in embarrassment. Sure, I did not mind pooping in them, but she sounded like I needed them to keep myself clean. “It's completely ok if you still use your diapers like that, but you can not mess yourself in the pool. You are not fully potty-trained, so they are mandatory for you anyway if you want to still go and try that waterslide. This is their hotel pool policy and I have to insist on it.” her mum explained a little strict and decided to buy the package of swim diapers without discussing that with her any further. She looked into her eyes as if she expected another response from Lila. Maybe mum took it a bit too far, expecting her to not have enough control over her bowel, and at the same time she in fact liked wearing her nappies. She trusted her mum and now just wanted to be loved, and safe again, and even regretted arguing with her. Lila ignored her mum's words and just tried to cuddle up with her instead. And as her mum understood what the little girl wanted, she felt the comforting hand on her back, hugging her tightly. “You are a Good girl. I saw you standing at the binkies before, so I wondered do you want one for tonight?”, she offered her child and was sure she would never be able to ask on her own. She looked up to her. “Don't worry about childish stuff, remember?” she explained again as she pushed her to the pacifier and bottle aisle. “How do you like this one?” she asked as she presented a starter pack containing a slightly bigger pacifier and a baby bottle, advertised for kids six years up. While holding the little transparent pack in her hand, she could not help but smile. Mum just had chosen one with her favorite childhood hero. She truly wanted to have them, but at the same time, did not want someone to know. She held them tight as if it would be a toy she got as a reward. “Baby, no one is taking them from you”, her mum finally explained with a smile, knowing that she had done just the right thing for Lila. *** After having lunch at the fast food bistro in the mall, they headed back to the hotel to relax. Lila was also glad she could finally get rid of the sweaty pants that she had on for the shopping trip. Also, the little girl was excited to try on all her new clothes and things she got. So she lay herself down on the bed and started unpacking her stuff. As if it was Christmas Eve, and she was cheerful while discovering all her presents. She could easily unwrap her new pants and dresses and remove all the stickers they used to sell the items. “Baby, you are overdue for a diaper change”, her mum called her over. Just carrying the bag with her new slightly more childish diapers, her wipes, and the skincare products she bought to care for her child's skin. They would certainly avoid the wet or poopy accidents of her daughter, causing her any nasty diaper rash. Lila was just enjoying taking possession of all her new things and did not even notice her mum's attempt. Her mum took her time to open the bag and fluff up the first new diaper of her child. “LILA!” her mum now raised her voice, “we really need to change you before you go potty in it another time.” “Sorry mummy”, the little girl apologized, while her mum now saw the item in her baby's hand. It was the pack of pacifiers and a baby bottle that was still wrapped in thick transparent plastic and which seemed pretty childproof even for her Lila. “Oh, how could I forget”, taking the plastic object from her Hands, using her mommy force to rip off part of the plastic and letting the content drop back on the bed. “Thanks”, she spoke softly, finally holding her two binkies and the bottle in her hands. Not even noticing that her mum placed her bum back on the changing mat. “Do you think you can try to go in your pants for your mummy while she fills your leftovers from your lunch shake in your cute baby bottle?” She was asked with a smile that promised her more of the addicting motherly love. She handed over her precious treasure while spreading her legs slightly. For a moment, she had a second thought about what she was about to do. Was she just going pee or poop in her diaper just because mum told her to, while the toilet was just a doorstep away, and she could easily just head over? She was thinking about asking Mum to go potty like a big kid, but she saw her motherly love in her smiling face. Mummy asked her to, and it seemed to make her happy if she did just that instead of acting her age. And most importantly, she wanted Mum’s love and the bottle she promised her. How would her banana-flavored shake taste from a bottle? Was it different from sucking it from an adult’s cub? Was it like the formula for a baby? Lila closed her eyes and started to go potty, while she was just lying on the bed. As the warmth spread again, she started looking at her parents. And she just relaxed and relieve swapped over as she noticed all that pressure in her gone “Good girl” her mum praised her as she finally stopped wetting. She took her wipes and only seconds later she found herself in one of her new colorful Pampers-style diapers. “You look like I have my baby girl back”, mum joyed, and even Lila smiled. Her diapers were thicker but also felt comfy and secure and the design appealed to her. No longer was she, a teeny with medical issues who wore plain white incontinence pants that could have escaped any granny's cupboard in a retirement home. No, that underwear was clearly meant to make any small girly kid happy. Any kid that was not ready to finish potty training and liked to watch her cartoons instead of running to the porcelain throne. A small kid like herself. “You like it”, her mum wanted to know. Lila was shyly glazing in the mirror, looking back at her reflection that was much more an eight-year-old child and not a teenager. But instead of the other plain white version, it did not look weird. “It is so hot, do you have something light that fits over this?” the little girl complained to her mum. “Honey, you do not have to wear something over that cute diaper.” She sheepishly looked over to her parents. “It's just me and your daddy and if you go potty again or actually wet the bed, I would see it and would not need to check on you constantly. You want to cuddle some more?”, her parents offered and placed the beyond cute girl right between them, while her mum slung her head around her and suddenly had the baby bottle in her other hand. “You'd like to try drinking again.”, her mum offered, while Lila was sinking back into her parent's love. Hearing the breath of her dad and the warm but not hot skin of her mummy, she decided to let it happen. She opened her mouth and began sucking her yummy shake. First, it felt kind of strange drinking again like a toddler, but not in a bad way. And like the cuddling with her mum and dad, it also triggered her mind into being like a child and feeling so incredibly secure and loved. And after a minute or so she just enjoyed it and also noticed that the flavor was different. It tasted so creamy, and the sweet banana milk was much more intense. Again she decided that like with the diapers, she also liked it, and she wished they had never put the childish drinking bottles in the back of their cupboards at home. “Did you like that?”, her mum wanted to know as she let the empty thing slide on the blanket while her daughter was looking happy and worry-free, as she did not for a very long time. *** “Can we try the waterslide now”, Lila asked her mum as she was getting bored lying in her bed and looking at her phone. She got out of her bed and looked down on the pool area some levels down. The children were playing, laughing, and having fun. Her Mum looked up at her and smiled. “Ok, let's get you changed for swimming, then”, she announced. “Can you try if you could go potty in your diaper before we put your swim nappy on?” She then got up and took the package out of the cabinet. With a quick turn of her hand, she ripped it open. “Look how cute they are.”, she recommended them to her as showed the pull-up-styled swim nappy. A little shark was on its front and was trying to get a small fish. “Remember, fishes are friends” was printed around a little bubble that formed the pattern to make the swimming shorts more colorful. “But Mum, can I wear anything to cover it up.”, Lila demanded. “Oh, you don't like it?”, she concluded with a slightly disappointed look. Lila blushed, the swim diaper was a little childish, but she liked the prints, maybe on normal swim shorts it would appeal to her. The only problem was that you could still see what it was meant for. And she did not know how the other kids would react, would they laugh at her? “I don't think we packed your normal swimming gear.”, her dad announced as he assisted Mum in going through their stuff, searching for anything appropriate. Lila was feeling irritated by the conflict in her. She really wanted to go and have fun. Through the mirror, she noticed that her appearance was now much more the one of a much younger girl. She did not look odd, even with her now wet diaper in full view. It just made some crinkly sound as she turned. “We can buy something over it tomorrow.“, her dad suggested. “But I really want to go swimming today”, Lila complained instead. She thought about her dilemma. Yes, just wearing her diaper was a little embarrassing for the girl, but over time she slowly got used to it. And it did feel more comfortable without having to wear pants in the hot summer heat. So maybe it would not be that bad wearing it as her swimming gear just for today and without feeling confident about it, she said, “Mum, do you mind if I try it on? I really want to go and cool off, and maybe it is not as embarrassing as I expect it to be.” “Sure Thing, my cute young lady.”, she heard her and noticed as she just lifted her up and laid her back on the soft bed. “The swim nappy will not absorb your pee-pee that well, so you really should try to go in your current diaper some more”, she explained to her again, as she would to a little toddler. Lila did not know what to do, should she just try again? Here. In front of her mum. “Just push it all out.”, her mum said, with a smile that Lila could not resist. She closed her eyes and tried to go and suddenly felt she started to pee. “You are such a good little girl.”, she praised her child. Lila did not want to disappoint her Mum and she still felt my tummy was filled with some fast food we had on our shopping trip. Still keeping her eyes closed, she tried to go poopy again. But her belly did not want to, and so she opened her eyes staring back at her mummy. “You cannot go?”, her mother seemed to know, already having some fresh wipes in her hand and ready to change her. “Sorry I really tried Mummy”, Lila admitted, and she felt the soft loving hands starting to clean her up. Lila just laid on the bed and followed her parent's orders, while she was wiped and relaxed and forgot about all the worries in the world. “Look you even managed to poop yourself a little”, mum praised Lila like a baby as she found some brownies stains at her back of her protection and applied some barrier cream in order to protect her soft skin from any nasty accident she could have in the next hours. Soon she felt the swim nappy sliding up her legs. ”Up with your booty, and you are ready to go in a second.”, came her final command. Lila noticed that her new swimming gear had nearly no padding in her crotch. She stood up and had a look in the mirror. Now she in fact looked like a bigger toddler, who was still in his diapers, nobody would think she could hold it even for a minute. How could she even think about going swimming in them? On the other hand, she really liked the outfit. The shark on the front and the nice and colorful diaper looked cute on her. “You are so adorable!”, her mum praised their child, while she adjusted the leak guards. “And your swim nappy does not seem to be out of place on you at all.”, her dad added. “Even as if it was made for you.”, her mum concluded I turned around and looked them in the eyes. “Really, mummy, you think that no one will laugh at me?” she asked them shyly. “Oh, Honey. Don't you agree, you look cute.”, she said, involving her daughter a lot more. “And you wanted to go and have a swim in the pool, didn’t you?” Lila lowered her head, knowing she was right. She really wanted to go, and she didn't look too crazy or weird, just like an eight-year-old with potty training issues. Maybe this could also give her some confidence that needing diapers is not as embarrassing as she thought. “Would you come with me?”, Lila wanted her parents to accompany her today. “We don't have such a cute swimming outfit as you, but we still want to come and watch you”, her mum promised. She quickly packed a towel and wrapped me up so I didn't have to walk in the lobby with just the swim diaper on, and filled some supplies into a bag. “Do you want a lift?” Lila’s dad offered and took her on his hip as if she was really ten years younger. “Hello, you want to go swimming?”, a young-looking lifeguard, greeted them as they entered the pool Area. Lila nodded affirmatively. Look in there, you can take a shower, and you can grab some extra towels and a bathrobe for your stay. She handed her a colorful robe with some cartoon characters on it, while her parents received a boring, plain white version. Without thinking about the not-too-normal swimwear, Lila put her burrito-style dress on a hanger and headed to the shower that promised a much cooler feeling on the hot afternoon. “Oh good, she is already wearing a swim nappy.", the lifeguard praised her parents. “We always welcome it when our guests take the pool regulations seriously.” “Do you also have some swimming aids for her? The pool is really deep in some places, and it is much safer for kids her age.” She wanted to know from her parents and was obviously seeing Lila as a much younger girl than she actually was. “Floaties for her, but she already learned how to swim.”, her dad wanted to argue on her behalf. “Especially for our younger and playful guests, we noticed that they regularly overestimate how good they are at staying afloat. So especially if she is going in the pool or on the kid's slide alone it is mandatory for kids her age.”, she explained to her parents. How old does she think I am? Lila was wondering. Will mummy tell her the truth? But no, it would be even more embarrassing to need a diaper for swimming at her age. She sent an SOS message to her parents by looking them deep into her eyes. Her heart was pounding like crazy, as her mum followed her in the shower. “Is everything OK with you?", she asked as she stroked Lila’s hair. “She thinks you are a little girl!”, mum commented in a soft voice so that only Lila could hear her. “Do you mind if we let her believe it?” Lila shook her shoulders. “I don't want to be thirteen and needing a swim nappy, and I could stop being afraid of the deep water and just have fun with the floaties” she confessed to Mum. She kissed my forehead. “You can be my little child, so don't worry about it.” “So, what is your name?”, the helpful lifeguard girl wanted to know as she exited the shower and took the colorful and childlike bathrobe to cover her up a little. “I am Lila”, she told her shyly. “Nice to meet you, I am Shyen.”, she introduced herself to the little girl. Hopefully, she was not asking for my age. The little girl prayed and was at the same time much more nervous than she normally would be when talking to an adult. “Your parents told me you already know how to swim a little, don’t you?” She blushed again, she actually made a very basic swimming certificate, but she still did not feel safe in the water. What if she needed to prove her skills in the deep end without her parents? “Look, we have different floaties for you here”, she explained as she showed the little girl different types of armbands, swimming belts, and pool noodles. Lila was not sure if she wanted to wear them, but at the same time, she was glad no one seemed to mind her nappy. And surely, it would be like turning back time for a few years. “You are not sure”, Shyen noticed her insecurity. “With the armbands, you can play around without any worries” she decided and placed them in her hands. “Oh, you would like to have these water wings.”, she heard her mum coming to the gate where someone chose to create a handle so high up that Lila could never ever reach it on her own. Her parents helped her to open the door, while her mum took her hand and led her to a free sun lounge. “Come have a seat”, her mum said while she lifted her on her lap. “Mum, I really would like to try the big slide”, she announced, pointing to the big blue waterslide that ended in the kid pool. “Sure honey.”, her mum responded while she inflated the armbands on her daughter. Lila felt like a little girl now, but at the same time she did not want to wait any longer, and as soon as her mum was done she ran off having fun. She was climbing up the stairs and saw her parents at the bottom when she heard the voice of an old man. “Hey little girl, sorry, you cannot slide alone here, you have to go down to the kids slide”, he explained looking at Lila and pointing down to a tiny baby slide in the really shallow part for the toddlers and at the same time not showing any doubt that he meant her. “Me ... but I really want to.”, she tried to argue while some of her tears were making their way over her cheeks. “I am really sorry, but a responsible adult has to accompany you here!", the old man insisted while he was not even getting up from his chair. Lila did not know what to do. She agreed to put the swim nappy on, was wearing her arm floaties, and she still wasn't allowed to have fun. “I could take her, and we could slide together.", offered a young woman who was watching her two younger brothers as she saw that Lila was in tears. Lila did not see that the old lifeguard nodded in approval. She only saw the hand that was taking her. “You want to go with me.”, the teenager offered. Lila looked up to her. She was older, maybe fifteen. It felt good for her to have someone taking her by the hand while she was walking over to the grumpy lifeguard. “He did not want to let me slide, even with the floaties on.”, she explained to her short-time guardian. “Don't worry, together it will be even more fun.”, she explained. “What's your name?”, she wanted to know “I am Lila.", she said while she was slowly trusting her companion. “I am Alexandra, but everyone calls me Alex. And these are my brothers George he is a little older than you and Lukas, he is fife.”, she explained as the two boys started to slide. Her new friend helped her to sit down in the small pool on the top and get ready to have fun on the way down. Patiently, they waited until the traffic light switched to green. “Are you ready?”, She heard the voice of her newly found friend. Then she pushed her down the slide. The wind was blowing through her hair while the water splashed away to all sides. She was having fun and could hardly imagine that she was questioning whether she should head down to the pool area. Suddenly they landed in the cold water. And only for a moment, her head was underwater while she saw all the small air bubbles around her. Then she noticed her floaties were dragging her back to the surface. For a second, she was waiting there for her companion to reappear in the wave created by the little river that was built for their entertainment. She did not even need to move to stay afloat as her little swim helpers did their work. “Are you OK?”, Alex asked as she took Lila on her arm, moving her all the way to the exit stairs. “Can we go again, Please?”, she begged. “Shouldn't we check that your parents are not searching for you.”, Alex explained to the little girl and was clearly expecting that she was not on her own and that someone was looking for her. “Don't worry, they are over there.”, Lila tried to convince her newly found friend that they could just go on and enjoy the water park. “Maybe we should spend them a short visit. So that they do not worry about where you are.”, she suggested while leading me in the direction of the loungers, where she expected her mum and dad. “But I really want to go down the big slide one more time, and the grumpy old man does not let me go without you.” “Hello Lila did you find yourself a friend”, mum greeted her and was clearly watching all their small steps into the world of refreshing joy all around them “Hi mum, this is Alex”, Lila introduced her to her parents. “She was helping me to slide down because they didn't let me go without someone else watching.” “She was in tears when the lifeguard up there told her she was too young. So I took her with me.”, the teenager on my side explained as if she was a preteen child who did cry from time to time. “Thank you for your help.”, her dad, showed his gratitude. “Can I maybe ride a little more with her?", Lila asked, looking like a little puppy dog, from her parents to Alex and back again. “Sure, you can come if your parents agree.”, she put her wet arm on Lila's shoulder. “That would be a great idea, and it would be good if she is not on her own. And if you notice that she goes poopy in her swim nappy come over to us. I will change my darling into a fresh one.” She didn't want Alex to know that she was not using the potty on this vacation. And now her parents just talked about it as if she was a toddler. “OK, I thought the swim diaper was just a precaution.” “No, she is not ready, jet. Especially on vacation, we do not insist that she is trying too hard on her potty training. You can always check her if you are not sure by looking into the back of her diaper.” “But Mum!”, Lila complained about her mum being so open about the obvious reason for her wearing the babyish swimwear. “No worries, I used to wet my bed too when I was younger.”, she told them. “I will not laugh at you.” I blushed. “You want to go on the slides again?", she offered to Lila, who now was really embarrassed and did not know what to say with everyone talking about her lack of potty training. She looked them in their eyes, but everyone seemed to accept her. “Do you want to stay with your parents?” She shook her head, at least she wanted to have some fun in the water, and Lila trusted her new friend and ran off, heading back to the slides and to the lazy river that meandered through the hotel park like a giant snake. “Lila, we are going out for dinner!”, she heard her parents as she was exiting the waterslide and running towards the stairs with Alex holding her hands. Two unfamiliar adults were sitting next to her mum. “Hi Mum and Dad, what are you doing here?”, Alex asked while her brothers hugged them. Slowly but steadily, Lila sat on her mom's lap and enjoyed the warm skin warming and comforting her a little. “Do you need a change before we'll leave?", she asked in a way a mother would ask her toddler. And lifted the now wet and cold swim diaper at her back. “No poopies this time.", she confirmed with a smile. “But Mum, do we really have to go?”, said the girl, who did not look any different from a first-grader. “Playing together was really nice, and I don't want to leave my new friends.” “Oh, Alex and her family will also come with us.”, her dad announced. Mum took a towel, helping her little darling to get dry again. “Can I help you if you change her?", Alex offered while she could not take her eyes away from Lila who now was lying in the lounge with the towel covering her from the shoulders to her belly. “She always loves to help the little ones.", Alex's mum confessed. “When our little Lukas stopped using diapers during the day, she was so sad that she couldn't care for him anymore.” Her mother took the bag that contained her diapers on this trip. “Do you mind if she helps us?” “But mum!”, Lila tried to complain about what was going to happen. “I promise I will not laugh at you.”, Alex assured her new friend, and was looking over at her in a way she could not resist. She did not mind at all that I wore swim diapers and my water wings today, and was just helping her to avoid the grumpy lifeguard who tried to rob Lila’s fun on that warm and sunny afternoon. “Do you want to be alone with me or can Alex help us?”, she again wanted to know from her daughter. She didn't know how to respond, if Alex wanted to help change her, she could not risk losing her just because it is embarrassing. In the end, she nodded in approval. It did not even take Alex a second to switch into nanny mode and take Lila's diaper bag and the little pile of clothes for their dinner party. “Wait for a second”, her mum had to slow her down a little while her mighty arms pushed her on her hips. In a short moment, they ended up in a large little kid's bathroom that also had an oversized changing table available. It could have been big enough to change someone even as big as Alex. So Lila who had a little immature appearance and was pretty tiny for her age felt like a toddler on this changing mat again. “First of all it is essential that she is comfortable when you try to change a big child like her.”, she explained while she was pushing me back on the soft plastic surface while her other hand switched on a heat lamp that was mounted on the wall but still in a height that I couldn't reach even if I tried. The warm light covered Lila like a blanket, and slowly all her resistance faded away. In the background, she heard her mum explaining something to her new friend while someone ripped off the sides of her infantile swimwear and cleaned her with some warm wipes. She stared at the ceiling and admired the colorful cartoon characters who did hilarious things up there, playing around. She even found her favorite cartoon character a little while with a yellow shirt on a broom, flying around all her childhood friends. As it was only yesterday, she remembered the good old days at home when she was allowed to listen to their stories before bedtime and how she closed her eyes without any worries in the world. Maybe this is something she missed as well. Suddenly, her mum placed her new colorful diaper under her bum and softly placed the top part on her belly. “Can you close the tapes for me?”, she assisted Alex and waited until the teenager closed the sticky tapes on each side. Her wet swimwear was all gone. When they awoke her from her daydreams, she was dressed in one of her somewhat childish-looking evening dresses with a try diaper around her booty. Her Mum took her back on her hips, accidentally still showing Lila's diapers as they walked back to the group. ### “Mum, I still want to have something for dessert”, Lila said as she was sitting next to Alex and flipping through the colorful pages of her kid's menu. “Do you really want more? You hardly managed to eat your main dish.”, her dad argued. “But mommy!”, Lila protested and sounded like a sad and disappointed little girl. “Do you want to share one with me?” Her newly found friend offered her help again. “You know I can't eat a big desert either, but I really want to try one.” She lightened up as she saw her Mum's approval and began to flip through the pages where every picture offered a tasty variation to close our dinner. The two girls agreed on a panna cotta with some berries and three scoops of ice cream. And when the waiter brought them a big plate with two spoons, Alex suddenly lifted Lila on her lap to make it easier for them to share. “Hmm, that is really yummy”, the little girl cheered as she tasted the first spoon full of delicious desert. But at the same time, she felt some strange feeling in her tummy. She had to go, but was too embarrassed while she was so close to her teenage friend. Maybe she can hold in for a little longer when she pees. She did not even need to let it go voluntarily. Just as she did not try to hold it, she felt the warmth spreading in her pants. She was immediately relieved. Why did she even try to hold it when she had the diapers on, Lila wondered how the rest of her potty training still made her think twice before she wet herself? “Did you just go potty?”, Alex asked her so discreetly that Lila could hear her. The small girl blushed in embarrassment and nodded. “No worries, that is what you wear diapers for”, the teenager explained the obvious and tried to check her diaper, making it clear for everyone on the table that she peed. “Oh, did she go poopy”, Lila's mum accidentally thought loud enough for everyone around to notice. “No, she smells fresh, her boom suddenly feels warm, but it was just a pee-pee accident.” She defended the girl on her lap as if she was three. And left her spoon on the now-empty plate. Lila lowered her eyes a little. “Don't be sad, everything's going to be ok.”, mum praised her as the adults paid the bill. Alex took her hand to lead her back to the hotel. And she paid attention, so her little one didn't get lost on the now-dark streets. Her brothers were having fun walking on the walls and benches that lined the pedestrian zone where all the fancy restaurants were. “You want to play as well?”, their ten years old brother asked, while jumping down from one of the benches. Lila thought the preteen boy did look like he was having fun, and she did not want to miss out on fun activities on her vacation. But at the same time her belly complained with an achy feeling, and she did not know if she would mess herself, while she was playing with them. ‘Don't worry, even your Mum confirmed that you do poopies in your pants. Just relax and push it all into your diaper.’, a voice in her, tried to push her forward. Still ignoring her need, she climbed up on one of the lower walls and instinctively held Alex's hand to help her balance on the narrow rocky surface. “Now jump” the young boy that was half a head bigger than her commanded, like she was a jump and run character on his screen going through a maze of walls and benches. It was a gap in the wall of a meter, Lila thought, getting excited and afraid that she could fail at the same time. She saw their little brother jump over the gap on the other side that was even wider than her obstacle. “I will catch you if you fall, just go to your knees, aim, and jump”, Alex said, while she seemed to notice the insecurity of her friend. As Lila bent her knees, she suddenly felt the need to go potty return. She was sure that she would never make it with this needing pressure in her bowel. Nobody will laugh at you, she assured herself while she relaxed and suddenly lost her control. Within a second, the warm and squishy feeling in the back of her diaper returned, while the pending need to poop vanished from her mind. “You can make it!”, she heard the teenager on her side supporting her. Lila did not wait any longer and jumped. In the middle, she had doubts that she would make it. Surely she would fall and hurt herself. Just as her feet touched the other wall, someone took her and stabilized her so she could land safely. “You made it”, Alex cheered. The little girl had to confess that she had not had so much exciting fun for quite a while. All her games and TV shows could not compete with the experience of playing together with other children. Alex raised her up and hugged her as she saw the little girl was quite still on the edge of tears. She enjoyed the security and the feeling that she is not alone. For a second, she closed her eyes. Her friend sniffed a little, noticing the babyish odor surrounding her, telling everyone what the little girl just did. “Oh you had an accident.”, she heard the surprised teenager while she suspiciously checked the diaper trying not to embarrass her too much. Lila noticed Alex was looking over at her mum, not seeming too confident in her nanny role. “Maybe we should go to your mommy?”, she suggested, not sure how to handle her accident. A little tear was rolling over my cheek. Was she repellent from the messy potty mishap that she had while playing? Should she have tried to stay at least clean when she was out with others? Suddenly, she took a small napkin out of her pocket. Don't be sad, she explained while she helped her off the wall. “We all know that an accident like this would eventually happen sooner or later.”, her teenage friend, tried to comfort her. “But I am not sure if your diapers are still ok.” She took her by the hand like a little one and led her to their parents to ask Lila's mum for help. The adults were chatting and strolling over the wide streets. “I think she needs a change”, she announced. I saw the adults turning their heads. And Lila felt like a dripping wet puppy dog standing in the doorway waiting for her Mum. In a second, she was standing at my side. With her hand, she touched her now obvious bulge at her back. “You really needed to go, my baby”, she concluded. “I need to check if it would not leak on your beautiful dress. With more tears forming in her eyes, Lila noticed that she was lifting her dress while she bent her knees to check on her daughter. She was embarrassed, but at the same time, her mind was sliding back into her younger age and was remembering that there was a world where all her worries lay in the hands of her parents and she was just having fun. Couldn't it be like that again, when she forgot that diapers were embarrassing for thirteen-year-old Lila? She covered her wet face in Alex’s shirt. “You are messy, but the diapers here are really secure, and you will be fine for our short walk back to the hotel.” She kissed her child's cheek, which was not covered by the soft shirt of her friend. All in her tears, Lila hardly noticed that none of her friends were making fun of her. “But maybe can I help you to change her again”, her new friend demanded as she was stroking the back of her friend as if she was her little sister while at the same time shielding her as good as she could. “No this time you cannot!“, Alex’s mum insisted with a smile, “Also big guardians need their sleep, and we will be going on our tour through the city, did you forget?” “But then Lila has to come with us tomorrow”, she now protested, and sounded like a grumpy teeny. “That is not possible, your friend is going into the amusement park tomorrow, and we already booked all our tickets.” explained her dad. As he talked, she noticed that the time when Lila had to leave Alex was coming closer with big Yeti steps. As the sadness swapped into her mind, she was fighting her freshly-dried tears again. “But I want to see Alex once more” she whined. “Maybe you want to come on our trip to the national park on the day after tomorrow”, their dad suggested. “It will be a wild forestry place and empty white sanded beaches.” was he selling the idea of a reunion the next day. “I don't know, Lila is more an indoorsy child”, her mum doubted that this would be the place for her family. And as she talked, I could see Alex's shoulders sink like a heavy stone in the water of disappointment. “But mummy, I insisted. I really want to be with her before we ...” and suddenly stopped as the upcoming flight home came to her mind. She would be back home. Back to being a big kid, wearing undies instead of these comfy diapers, back to fighting her bed-wetting accidents in her useless pull-ups. “Maybe we should try it once, before she was born we were out exploring quite a lot”, Lila’s dad suggested. “I am sure your family will have a good day.”, Alex's mum explained. “But I do not even have a bikini with us to swim in the ocean.”, Mum complained, not completely sold on the idea of a day out in nature. “Oh, that's not a problem at all, they have a good mini-store in the hotel. You can even buy things today if you ask the receptionist. We even got swim shorts and floaties for our fife-year-old Lukas”, the mother of her teenage friend, advertised the small store in the lobby. Lila's Parents seemed to look into each other's eyes. “We will try it, but no tantrum when you are hot. At least you are thirteen.”, her mum warned, without thinking about what she just said. The surprise swapped over the small group. And silence fell over them like the night over the world. “I would have never estimated you older than seven or eight”, Alex's mum stumbled. She was shocked and did not even notice the tears on her cheeks. “Mum why did you tell them.”, Lila complained and wanted to turn away and run. “I still love you, regardless if you need more help at your age.”, Alex declared unwillingly, implying without saying that Lila may be a little challenged mentally. Is this how they see her now, as she is a retard. Rolled a heavy stone through her thoughts Alex had to hold her hand to prevent her from running away. “No, she is not challenged, at least not when it comes to her academics.”, her dad tried to do damage control, she is just borderline small for her age and still needs support emotionally when she is sad or stressed out like any younger child would need. “And she suffers from incontinence and never was dry or clean.”, her mother mentioned to complete the picture. “MUM I DO NOT SUFFER”, she cried out in a tantrum-like voice angry at Mum and stumped her feed in frustration. “I know, adults are always soooo stupid.”, Alex wanted to calm her down. She leads Lila a few meters away from them to give them a little privacy to talk. “Yes they are, and it really sucks being thirteen”, Lila confessed that she did not like her age. She slung her arm around me and showed me that everything was okay. They noticed that their parents went on walking and followed them in a distance. Instinctively, Alex seemed to know that she had to listen to the little girl instead of just talking. For some seconds, the silence between them was their voice. “I honestly hate being a teeny.”, Lila confessed. “Everything is so confusing. My classmates are just weird, and I cannot find friends anymore.” “I understand.” the much bigger girl said in an understanding voice and nuzzled her friend to encourage her. “Everything was way better before. When I was a little kid, I did not need to worry about all this stuff. But now she even tells everyone that I suffer from something” she complained. Again, she paused for a second before she continued with her explanation. “You know I need my diapers and without any option to wear something over them, I did not want someone to know that I am not a little girl anymore.”, Lila confessed the reason for the outburst of emotions. “I would not have laughed at you even if I knew.”, Alex assured her again. “But I have to confess you did not look like a teenager at all with the floaties on and the swim nappy.” “Do you care if I didn't even want to look my age? Strangely, I still enjoy being the little one and having someone to help me when I am sad or something is scary. My parents are always there for me when my emotions are overwhelming, and I start to cry. And for the floaties no, I already learned how to swim, but I struggle when it is deep, and I am still pretty afraid. So I normally preferred the shallow end of the pool to feel safe.” “So your parents bought them for you to worry less when you are playing?”, she asked. Lila shook her head. “Normally I don't swim that often, and we did not bring my swimming stuff, but when I watched all the kids having fun, I wanted to go too. Actually, the water wings were an Idea of the Lifeguard that we met at the entrance.” She explained with crowing concern that her friend would judge her. “Don't worry about swimming then” Alex advised. “You can use your floaties until you get more experience, and you should bring them for our upcoming adventure. The waves in the ocean can be pretty high. You still want to come, don't you?” She nodded, still unsure how their discussion with Mum actually ended. “Do you swim in pools a lot?” Lila wanted to know. “No, actually we go swimming in the lake in the summer”, Alex explained and began to speak about the tiny village where they were living and about what it had to offer. “You know, maybe it is not so bad that you are a teeny.”, the much bigger girl finally said. “Why?”, Lila questioned her as if it was an insult. “You are thirteen, so you have a phone, don’t you? That way, we will be able to keep in touch even when we all head home at the end of the week.” Finally, they arrived in the lobby.“, Lila, we have to start early tomorrow”, her dad announced. “But I still want to know if we will meet each other again this week?”, his girl insisted. “Sure thing honey, we just planned everything while you were talking to your friend”, her mum tried to apologize. “We will meet them early in the morning, and then we can head out in their van together. It has plenty of room left for all of us and you two can all have fun together” ‘Bing’ the elevator announced that it was time to go to bed. Lila could hardly stand on her feet anymore and was yawning. “You are still angry with me or could I carry you to get back to our room.” her mother offered. “Please help me, Mummy”, she confessed and was glad when she was picked up by her mummy and the conflicting feelings could finally be washed away by their love. Now she noticed that Lila definitely was quite smelly, like a real baby girl. “I think we have to run you a bath to make my little Lila nice and clean again”, her mum mentioned her smell as if she really was just a toddler for whom she had to care for. She rubbed her eyes and could hardly keep them open anymore. Seconds later, Mum put her down in the shower, removed her dress, and rolled her diaper up after wiping off most of her accident. Lila wanted to grab the shower head and start on her own. “Let me do that, you are exhausted from all the fun you had today, aren't you?” The little girl nodded, relieved. After some seconds, her mummy turned on the water and washed away all the smelly stains on her bum while she tried to catch every drop of the warm water. “Can you spread your legs a little?”, she assisted her teenage daughter who now was smiling and felt so good and carefree as she just came home from kindergarten. The warm water and the calming feeling of her mum’s love washed over her body and made her joyfully dance around as she was washed with a soft cloth that her mum put on her hand. “No Mummy, don't stop it.” the little girl complained as the rain of drops suddenly vanished, and a warm soft towel was wrapped around her. “But Baby, it's your bedtime.”, she mentioned in a soft and understanding tone, taking her up and carrying her back into her soft and welcoming bed. She quickly dried off her little girl and put her in her nighttime diaper. Lila touched the soft fabric of her pyjama top and the crinkly underwear underneath. She smiled because she actually felt good and safe. But at the same time, the reaction of her friend's family was still rolling around in her mind. Was she challenged, as they thought when they found out she is thirteen? When people saw her, were they assuming she was delayed in her development? Sure she was still wearing diapers, she loved to cuddle with her parents at night or if she was afraid or stressed out. She depended on her mum’s and dad's love, and she needed help for so many little things in her life. And in contrast to some of her classmates, the idea of being on her own was kind of scary for her. “Mummy, do people think I am a retard when I need so much help?” she innocently asked her question, fully trusting her mother to help her out. “Baby don’t use this word, it is rude, and it is wrong.”, she explained in a loving soft but still strict voice. “You don't have intellectual disabilities, and I don't want you to believe it.” “But why is it so easy for me to play an eight-year-old with potty problems, while I struggle so much when I try to be a teenager. I always have low grades in my exams even if I learn all day long and struggle in sports because I cannot compete with others. Actually, I even liked that I could play carefree in the pool today with my water wings on.”, the little girl complained about the hardship of her young life while a lonely tear rolled down her cheeks. Her mum laid down next to her, stroking her daughter's back. If she could, she would take all the worries and struggles off the kid's shoulders. And while she could not ease her life in school, maybe she could make the vacation as relaxing as possible. “You want to drink some more”, her dad asked them as he saw his two most important humans in his life snuggling closely together Lila thankfully nodded, smiling all over her face. Her dad filled up her new baby bottle again with some tea that he quickly made in the room. He snuggled into the now overfilled bed, offering his child the teat to relax some more on his shoulder. She was starting to dream, long before her father put the child's bottle on the bedside table, letting his wife cover their child with a duvet and sliding the pacifier back into her mouth instead of her thumb.

When Timmy awoke he was disoriented and didn't know where he was, he then felt like something was in his mouth his thought was his thumb, but then he sucked on it a few times, it didn't feel like a thumb. When at lest his eyes finally adjusted to the dim light of the room his eyes immediately shot open when he discovered what he was sucking on. he immediately went backwards and covered his mouth he couldn't believe it he was actually sucking on Miss Braginskaya like a baby, "what the fuck." he said quietly to himself barely audible as he then looked at Miss Braginskaya naked breast before looking at her sleeping face he then slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After pulling down training pants he was thankful that he wasn't wet or messy, he did have a boner though. He then looked around the bathroom and discovered a bottle of aloe vera and he decided to take care of this first problem immediately.

@Baby Billy @Moon3ye For the sake of the story, let's leave politics out of this thread please? 💜

Because I have been passionately reading your stories for 4 years now and I know that you are mean and love to torture your readers.

Chapter 108: General Gao’s BETH TEXTED ME the following morning and said she was skipping breakfast to take care of an errand with Reila, so I sat down with Amy, Mia, and Willow. “Not with your girlfriend today?” Mia asked curiously. I didn’t even bother correcting her, “She had something to do.” I munched on one of the giant pieces of bacon right then, swallowing and asking, “Did you three want to go shopping on Saturday?” “I thought you said it was a bad idea?” Amy said. I nodded, “It would have been by yourselves. We’ll have Beth, Reila, probably Livy, and also Beth’s bodyguard with us?” “That’s a large group?” Willow asked. “That’s kind of hard to move around with?” I shrugged, “If you want to get adopted, go with a smaller group. If you just want to shop and get a chance to see more than the university grounds, that’ll be the safest way?” “How do you get to go off-campus so much?” Zoey, another member of our new nest, asked. “My grandmother?” I told her. “Who is she?” “Amanda Westerfield?” I answered. “That is?” She asked, “I’m not from Ames?” she added with the gasps from a couple of her friends added to the sounds around us. I smiled, “You know the new student union building? Westerfield Hall?” She nodded, “Your grandparents gave the money for it?” “I don’t know if they contributed, but it was named in honor of my grandmother. She’s a big deal in AI and nanite technology advances here. She won the Bremer Prize recently?” Her eyes finally signaled some recognition, “So she’s like really smart?” I giggled, “You could say that.” By the end of breakfast, I planned to meet my friends and get picked up by my grandmother and Nikki. I walked with some friends toward the Matisse Center. I soon sat in Screenwriting class, where all our animated scripts were due. We also went over our next assignment, which would be the next Narratives project. “Okay, for this next assignment, I’m going to not just give you the medium of the film, but we’re also going to have everyone focus on the same thematic idea. This film is to be between fifteen and twenty minutes long and should focus on the theme of betrayal.” “That’s all?” Mason, one of our studio members, asked. “Nothing more specific?” Professor Gibney shook his head, “I don’t want to dictate the project for you. I will say it could be a betrayal of love, country, pet, or any other kind of betrayal you can think of?” As we left class, I was already thinking of some ideas. Right then, I also realized that my diaper was undoubtedly getting close to needing a change. I had zero plans to go to one of the HoloNannies, though! I decided to hang out near Beth’s class again and work on my script ideas. By the time her class ended an hour later, I already had three good ideas and ten pages written for each! “Hey,” she said when she saw me. “Hi, Beth,” I told her with a smile, then went up to her and embraced her. She picked me up and discreetly felt my bottom, “Didn’t feel like using the HoloNannies to change?” I made a face that she and Nikki both laughed at. “Would you mind?” I asked sheepishly. She laughed, “If I have to! It’s just wet, right?” I blushed deeper but nodded. Soon, changed out of the diaper and into a fresh one; we headed for the student union and hit one of the pizza places. She ordered two ‘big’ slices and gave me half of one to eat. “You know, this half of a slice is still like half a pizza back home!” She shook her head, “I really would love to see what your proportions look like to me?” “I wonder what would even happen if you went over?” She shrugged, “I know there are Mids and Bigs who have gone over to work with companies in the past?” “Wait, really?” She nodded, “There is a company called Diamond Tours that has become kind of notorious for luring new Littles here?” She took a bite, chewed, and swallowed, “Supposedly, their entire office on the other side is made up of Bigs?” “Actually, I think that’s the company my mom and grandparents used to come here. How do we not know this about their staff, though?” She shrugged, “I’ve only heard bits and pieces through Mom and Dad, but I guess the portal either automatically shrinks them to being just in the tall category there, or they manipulate people themselves?” “So what’s the racket? Convince people to come over, immediately adopt them?” She shrugged, “Obviously, they don’t claim everyone if your mom and her parents made it back?” I nodded, “Then there are idiots like my exchange group?” She nodded, “You’ve already had several adopted.” “Including one of our professors,” I shook my head and took a few more bites. “It was all worth it, though, to meet you,” I said with a smile. She smiled back, “I’m glad you came too!” “Say…” I said nervously, “I had a thought about tomorrow. Before Grandma takes us home, would you be open to going out to dinner and a movie?” She smiled, “Carly Slane, are you asking me out on a date?” I smiled back, “Uh-huh?” “Where are we eating…?” The two of us discussed the ideas Shelby had helped me with, and she agreed to the plan before we went to sneak in some editing time before our class. We got three more scenes edited before our Narratives class began. BETH SAT IN their Narratives class beside Carly and Charlotte, watching as the professor talked about some different depth-of-field effects you could accomplish either during filming or in your post-production edits. The images projected did look really cool, but she felt most of the techniques were above her. A look at Carly showed her intense concentration and a smile, though. ‘She’s such a nerd sometimes!’ she giggled to herself. Professor Wyler lectured and demonstrated the technology for the first thirty minutes of class before saying, “I want to give you all some time to work on your projects as a group since I know many of you are having trouble scheduling time you can meet. This’ll give you at least an extra couple of hours, which I hope will help those struggling groups.” Beth smiled. With the rhythm Carly and she had been getting into, they could make much more progress that afternoon than they had planned! “Before we go, I want to offer everyone one more challenge you must complete by class on Tuesday.” Beth noticed most of the groups stop from the moving they’d just begun; several seemed almost desperate then. “So, the project is to create a studio logo splash clip for the beginning of your films. I will have a few faculty members select their preference and award the top group two million credits, second place, one million, third, seven-fifty, and fourth; as long as you complete it, you will get four hundred thousand. The splash screens should last between five and twenty seconds long. The cooler and more relevant, the better!” There was some excited chatter around the room and some questions before he dismissed everyone. “How is the editing coming?” Charlotte asked her and Carly. “Pretty good?” Carly said. We’re starting to wrap up Act One in our first edit. Beth and I have a pretty good rhythm going and were flying earlier. I think we can get another eight hours in right now and hopefully finish by tomorrow afternoon. Otherwise, we might come in on Saturday.” “Sounds like a plan,” Charlotte said. “Don’t feel like you have to kill yourselves though. We could get some work done on Monday and Tuesday. I’ve already reserved the student who will compose the music for the film.” “Cool,” Beth said. “What about this project?” “We’ll work on it with Ethan, Sophie, and Will,” Charlotte said. “While Carly would be good at this, I want you guys just to focus on the edit?” Beth nodded, “Okay.” “Let me know when you get done. If it’s by Monday, we might schedule a viewing of the rough with everyone.” “Okay,” Carly said. “Come on, Beth, let’s get to work…” She jumped off the chair and pulled her backpack over her shoulders. “Such a taskmaster!” Beth kidded Carly. Carly giggled in response, and they made their way to the editing studio. Nikki checked the room first and then stationed herself to watch over them. “Why don’t I order some food to be delivered?” Beth suggested. “That way, we won’t have to worry about you skipping dinner.” “Sounds great!” Carly told her. “What do you want?” Carly shrugged, “Not pizza? I could maybe go for something like General Tso’s chicken?” “Huh?” Carly looked thoughtful, “Wait, Mom said it’s called General Gao’s here?” Beth nervously nodded. Nikki spoke up, though, “Are you sure you want that? That’s really spicy?” Beth and Carly both laughed, “She probably does,” Beth said. “This one has a crazy spice tolerance. She actually won a back-to-school contest a few weeks ago. You want something, too?” She asked the bodyguard, who had been practically blending into the wall until then. “Sure…” One thing Beth had always appreciated about the local Chinese food place she ordered from was that they would come to find you in a building you were working on. So it was that Carly continued working on editing, even as they took delivery of their food. They’d just made it to the scene in the playroom the day of ‘Bree’s adoption.’ “Why don’t we stop and eat, then we’ll keep going?” Beth suggested. Carly shrugged, and they all gathered around a table on the back side of the room to split up the order. She shook her head at Nikki, watching Carly eat the first bite. She was pretty good about not being a mommy type herself, but you could see she was already planning how to rescue the crazy Little! Carly seemed to have sensed it as she smiled and enjoyed the first bite. “You really can eat that?” Nikki asked. “It’s delicious!” Carly told her. “You want a piece?” Nikki clearly couldn’t believe it was the regular dish, so she used her own chopsticks to take a piece of the meat and placed it in her mouth. She chewed before rapidly chugging some of her drink! “That’s not spicy?” She asked in disbelief! As if to prove a point, Carly grabbed one of the peppers and bit about half of it off into her mouth. “These are great! But really, I’d rate them maybe a mild poblano or jalapeno back home?” She shrugged and kept eating. “She really is an alien…” Nikki muttered, and the three of them laughed! After watching Carly scarf down food that should have been impossible to eat, she watched her switch back to editing and gradually move faster and faster. They did have to stop and enjoy the improv footage from the tea party, though! They were just getting ready to splice some clips together when a knock came on the door, and it opened. I TURNED AND found Charlotte and Sebastian at the door. “Hey guys,” I said, “What’s up?” “Just wanted to see how you two are getting on?” Charlotte asked. “Pretty good,” I told her. “Just about to finish the tea party scene?” They both chuckled, “I wish we could include the original,” Sebastian said. “Be careful with that one, though. I don’t think you violated any of your stupid Little’s rules, but it’s close to the line?” I nodded, “I actually scrubbed the audio from the original files on the system already.” I didn’t tell them I kept a copy in a strongly encrypted file on a personal storage device, though! ‘I know that no one will ever access it who I don’t to, though!’ “So, when do you think you’ll be able to finish this rough cut?” Charlotte asked. I shrugged and looked at the time, “We’ve got about ten more scenes to go; I’m hoping by the time I have to leave to go to the nest, we can be down to two or three left?” “That’s fast; you’re being careful with the cuts?” Sebastian asked. “She is,” Beth said for me. “The parts already look like a finished product to me. She keeps saying there are more things to do, but I sure can’t tell?” I shrugged, “I want to play with the transition effects some more for timing. Some of that, though, doesn’t make sense to get too nit-picky until we have the soundtrack. We also need to add sound effects to some scenes. I’ll work on that early next week, though.” “It sounds like you two have it in hand. Can you let us know when it’s done?” Charlotte asked. “Sure! Why don’t we plan to meet with anyone who wants to see the rough cut around 20 o’clock on Monday?” I said. “Bring your own pizza?” “Sure, we should be able to access one of the small viewing theaters, too,” Sebastian said. “Have a good weekend,” he said, pulling Charlotte from the room and letting us return to the editing. “Think they don’t trust us?” I asked once the door was closed. “No, they definitely do!” Beth said, “I think it’s more the helpless feeling of this part being out of their hands?” “Well, you can’t exactly have a full group working on this part?” I responded. “No, and I think that letting go is tough sometimes,” she smiled beside me. “I can kind of understand? You’re pretty much doing the whole thing right now.” I blushed, “Sorry?” “It’s your major; you should be the one doing it!” I continued working as quickly but carefully as possible. I hated seeing my original self in the early cuts, but I couldn’t help but smile anytime there was a close-up of my new face. I loved the hairstyles they’d used, and the outfits were cute—if only they weren’t as infantile! I couldn’t help but love my new self a lot more, though! The editing passed with a series of steps for each set of shots. Step one was using Beth’s notes to determine which take was the best. She had done a great job, and I couldn’t disagree with her choices on the Edit Decision List she drew up. With the editing software, it was a quick press of options to have all of the camera shots from that take available to quickly glance through the script and see what looked good for a selection. I would alternate close-ups, medium shots, and wide shots depending on what made sense to tell the story. Each time I did a close-up of Beth, I also felt butterflies in my stomach. Charlotte was a professionally fun actress in all of her shots. She was so talented! Little things like a raise of her eyebrow, a slight turn up of her lips, or tensing of her body told the story so well in anything she did! You could take the audio out of the clip and still be able to read what she was saying and doing! That really applied to most of the cast, though! Ava was the one exception. She really struggled to act the part of the daycare owner believably. I could see why Beth had so much footage of the time in the daycare playing because it took multiple takes to get a scene good enough for her. Even then, I found myself using some creative shots and cuts to use her voice and avoid her facial expressions, which tended to be rather dull or unrealistic. I hated the subject matter of the film, but there was a sense of pride in my being as I completed each part of it. It probably helped that even though I enjoyed my appearance, it still took me a moment to recognize myself as the actress in the scenes! To my surprise, it was soon twenty minutes from when I was supposed to be in the dorm, and I had just one last scene to finish! “I want to stay!” I complained, even as I followed Beth’s directions and saved, backed up, and logged out of everything. “I know, but the last thing we want to do is have a curfew violation for you?” I nodded, “Yeah…” As I stood up, I realized we’d never changed my diaper again, and it was practically all hanging below the level of my skirt! Beth had just put her backpack on and smirked, “That’s a little wet…?” “I noticed,” I said, looking at the clock. “Do you think you can deal with it until you get back to your nest?” Beth asked. “Time is running out?” “If you carry me?” I said with a sigh. “Just don’t leak on me,” she said half-seriously. “They’re usually pretty good about not doing that. But no promises?” She risked it, gathering me up and walking beside Nikki quickly to the dorms. When we reached Sanders Hall, she sat me down at the door, and I grimaced. “Sorry, Beth. I did leak on you, it looks like.” Thankfully, her jacket was waterproof, but there was a definite spot on her side where my diaper contacted her. “It’s okay, Carly, that’ll teach me to make sure we check your diaper more often! Get inside and get Miss Lilly to change you quickly before you leak on anything else!” she advised as she knelt down and risked getting wet again with a hug. “See you in the morning,” I told her, “Love you,” I added softly. “Love you too,” she smiled at me. I was just crossing the lobby to the elevator when I saw Mackenzie. “Well, hello there,” she said, “I haven’t seen you all week except in the pool!” I blushed, “Sorry, it’s been a busy week, and I’ve been working on that film project.” “Is that where you’re coming from now?” I nodded, “Yeah, we were trying to get as much done today as we could.” “Too busy to change that diapee?” I squirmed under her gaze as she knelt in front of me, clearly able to see the soaked diaper hanging below my skirt! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the Like button and leave a comment! My writing drought has continued through this week, but I'm hoping this weekend that I may have a shot at writing more again. We'll see what my mindset is like. Unless I have a massively productive weekend, we'll definitely be back on once per week again for a while. Thanks for your patience here!

Well the management of the old site always had problems.. Going back a long while. I as well as others of the staff on the old site, tried to advise Danni, Claudia, Penny. and whatever other characters showed up, that some of the stories were not kosher. But were always told we weren't going to do a blanket purge on certain problematical users.. And 80-90% of the problematic stuff was coming from less then half a dozen users. In fact i was told to manually go through and delete, manually most of these stories... But that i better have a justification for each one i deleted... I only stuck around as long as i did because i was promised payment in form of digimon plushies that i never received Water under the bridge at this point, but the new staff is positively paranoid about these issues. You're one and done on the Scriptorium. I don't care if you bring in a lot of traffic, i don't care if you're popular, i don't care if you've been my friend for 20 years. I didn't even allow search engines to index for the first 3 months

Nothing voluntarily for me but in the summertime I do have an affinity for watermelon. I do love eating really good watermelon and the better it is 5he more I eat. Need I say more?

Briana's not going to take all this anti ABDL stuff lying down! 16 A Big Plan is Planned Monserrat came to the rescue, just like Briana knew she would. She was brave, strong, and super kind to Ava. Their utter disaster of an afternoon became a chance to see Ava’s apartment and snuggle with her. Plus, there were cookies! It wasn’t the date Briana and Ava had planned, but it felt good. When Mom and Dad arrived, they had hugs for Ava as well as Briana. It was good to see her girlfriend getting comfortable with her parents. It’d also be nice if she could get comfortable faster. The tiny peck Briana got for a goodbye kiss showed Ava had a long way to go to be really comfortable. On the ride home from Ava’s house, Briana was struck by how horrible the encounter at the bus stop had been and how wonderful her afternoon with Ava was. There was no reason for those people to be mean about ABDL. It was super wrong for that man to push Ava over. Even if she hadn’t been disabled, it would have been wrong. The unfair feeling of having to feel afraid of people – because of something harmless about herself – grew until Briana was gripping her car-seat in righteous anger. If she was scared in public, how much worse was it for Arthur, who was black too? Or Ava, who Briana had thoughtlessly pushed to be Little in public at her birthday party. There was Fabi, who had been so excited to go to that birthday party – because she never left her house after becoming a full-time Little. “Briana, is something wrong?” Dad looked back at Briana from the passenger seat. Jane was as calm as ever, but Briana knew her well enough to see the concern in her dad’s eyes. “Yes, Daddy! There’s a big injustice, and I have to fix it!” “The police are working on it, Baby Bee,” Mom said from the driver’s seat. “I’m quite impressed with how well you handled that police officer. It will take them time to find the man who hurt Ava, even if they take the case seriously.” “No, not that part. I mean, yes, that part, but that’s not enough! I have to do something about all the ABDL hate that’s happening.” Mom and Dad looked at each other with that look they shared when they wanted to be supportive – but were going to say no. Veronica took a deep breath and began with, “Baby Bee…” “No. Mom.” “Excuse me, young lady?” There was danger in Veronica’s tone. Briana forged stubbornly ahead into the danger. “You said Aunt Kiara could give me lessons. She said I had to pick something to work on. I’m texting her right now to tell her I found my thing.” “Ah, then that should be fine.” Jane sat back in her seat as if the matter was settled. To Briana’s surprise, Veronica nodded in agreement. “You’re not going to try and talk me out of it?” “First off, Briana, you’re incapable of steamrolling my sister. I don’t think anyone could do that to her. If she agrees to help you, it’ll be because she believes it’s a good thing to do and is prepared to support you.” Veronica caught Briana’s eye in the rear-view mirror and smiled at her. “I think I can speak for your mother when I say we weren’t trying to stop you from helping people.” Jane reached back and patted Briana’s leg. “Though I have some worries about you taking on a cause that so many people are angry about, I’m glad to see you asking for help – this time.” “Daddy, you said you’d stop bringing up the time I got frostbite!” “Indeed.” Jane chuckled. “It was you that brought it up.” “Nuh-uh! Daddy! You’re not being fair.” “Briana, don’t get yourself into a fussy state. You’ll have much more success asking for Kiara’s help if you ask her like a big girl,” Veronica said. “I’ll check her diaper when we get home,” Dad said. “Daddy! That’s not why I’m upset.” ~~~*~~~ Despite her protests, Briana got a diaper change and put in her crib for some “quiet time” before dinner. Quiet time was code for Mom wanting Briana to take a nap but not wanting to argue about it. That meant no phone, books, or toys other than her stuffies. It was the perfect example of why Big thinking was flawed sometimes. Mom didn’t appreciate what Briana could do as a Princess of Cloudland, especially with her most loyal knights in attendance. While Alanna assembled and inspected the knights – the Lioness was always much bigger on inspections than Briana was – Briana squeezed a shoulder through her crib bars to grab her tiara. It was sitting on top of her toybox within reach – unlike the rest of her princess costume, which was hanging in her closet. Technically, Briana had not left her crib. Also, though the tiara had been in her toybox, it was part of a dress-up costume, not a toy. Satisfied that she was well within the letter of Quiet Time law, Briana put on her Tiara. Now, with a fancy accessory for her basic cream-colored onesie, the Princess addressed her knights. “Loyal Knights of the Round Table, I speak to you now as your Princess, not as a fellow knight.” Briana was proud of that speech – she’d practiced it on the car ride. Unfortunately, her wet diaper had been a distraction, meaning she was at the end of her prepared statements. Luckily, Knight Captain Alanna stepped in to assure Princess Briana that she and the other stuffie knights were awaiting her orders. Quietly thanking her bosom stuffie, Briana felt her thoughts fall into place. “I do not come to give orders but with a higher purpose. You should all know that the visiting princess – and my new girlfriend – Ava, was attacked today in town!” The stuffies gasped! Sir Mimsey, the bat, squeaked so loudly that she went into ultrasonic. Arnold the Pangolin was scribbling something about Briana having a new girlfriend for his gossip column – but at least Arnold the Pangolin was shocked, if not precisely for the right reason. “Yes, it’s true. And no, Sir Arnold the Pangolin, I will not do a tell-all interview. Sir Arnold the Pangolin is supposed to be a knight right now, not a reporter.” Briana took a deep breath. “Anyway, this wasn’t an isolated incident, and it wasn’t a creature from the Cloudland world like a rakshasi. The attack was part of a movement of people being mean to Littles.” Briana got up on her knees, wishing she had her sword for the dramatic moment – but the sword was clearly a toy and therefore not allowed during Quiet Time. Besides, she had told her stuffies she wasn’t acting as a knight. “I call the Round Table to a quest! This quest is the most important one since rescuing Melody at Thanksgiving. We cannot fail.” Alanna looked uncomfortable, though she was too disciplined to say anything in front of the other knights. Briana figured she would get an earful from her lioness about that Thanksgiving quest – but things were different this time. No one was going to get frostbite in the spring, for one thing. Briana’s bedroom door opened, revealing the crucial reason the Quest to Save All Littles differed from the Quest to Save Melody. “This is an interesting nap technique.” Kiara stepped up to the crib and kissed Briana’s forehead. “Am I interrupting a meeting?” “Not at all! You came at a perfect time, Auntie.” Briana hopped up, leaning over her crib bars to give Kiara a big hug. Her aunt was wearing a dress of rumpled blue silk, subtly printed with pale purple flowers. It was a great look for an opera or something high-society-ish, though, to Briana’s knowledge, that kind of thing was usually in the evenings. “I’m glad to see you too, sweetie.” Kiara hugged Briana tightly. “Are you going to introduce me to your meeting, or is it adjourned?” “As Princess of Cloudland, I’d be happy to introduce you. This is most of my Round Table. You already know Knight Captain Alanna, but this is Sir Arnold the Pangolin, Sir Chuck, Sir Mimsey, and Sir Alanna’s squire, Beartholomew.” Briana touched each stuffie in turn, taking advantage of the introduction to end with another hug for Kiara. “And this is Kiara, my aunt, and the Rasmussen Matriarch.” “Very regal.” Kiara scooped Briana out of her crib by her padded rear, setting her down with only a small grunt of effort. “What’s on the meeting agenda?” “The Quest to Save All the Littles in Ardenthill.” Briana looked proudly up at her aunt, undaunted by the foot of difference in their heights. “I thought that’s what you were talking about in your text message.” Kiara took a seat in the story-reading chair next to Briana’s crib. “I think you might be too Little to have that discussion now, though." “No, that’s Big thinking. I can be Little and save all my friends.” “I wish you could, sweetie, but clothes and attitudes are important when changing people’s minds.” Kiara pulled Briana into her lap. “Vonnie told me about another quest you went on. You had the wrong clothes on, and you got frostbite.” “Everyone’s bringing that one up today. I apologized and learned from it already; it’s not fair.” “Then you still need to apply the lesson to your new goal.” Kiara stroked Briana’s hair. “Confronting people who aren’t ready to see a grown woman in diapers is going to make them angrier than they already are. They’ll say awful things to you. Things that will get frostbite on your heart.” “I wear diapers all the time. If I can’t do this in diapers, I can’t do it at all.” Briana hit Kiara with her biggest pouty-lip. “Your diapers aren’t always obvious, and your behavior isn’t always Little. I’m happy to help you with this, sweetie, but it will be hard enough with you tackling it as a Big girl. I don’t see a chance for success if you’re trying to convince people when you’re Little.” “Aunt Kiara, that doesn’t feel right. I’m not ashamed of who I am.” “I’m not either – but there was a time when I didn’t get to wear my hair naturally like I do now. Even with our family connections, this country was a different place ten years ago. I had to straighten my hair to be taken seriously.” Kiara sighed grimly. “I didn’t like it and still don’t like that I had to do it. But I did what I had to do to get in a position where I could make a change.” “Grandma couldn’t fix it for you?” “She might have been able to if she’d come to every one of my events. Even then, I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter because I had things I wanted to accomplish as my own woman, as Kiara Rasmussen, not as Michelle Rasmussen’s daughter.” Briana sighed. “I still don’t like it. I’m not saying that this is like the way you were treated, or the way black people were treated in general – but it still feels wrong.” “You don’t have to like it, baby girl.” Kiara bounced one leg gently under Briana. “But what’s more important to you – showing the world you’re not ashamed of being Little or making Ardenthill safe for all the Littles that live here?” “The second one.” Briana rolled her eyes. “Okay, so how do I do it?” “Do you think you can be Big right now to discuss it?” “Um – I’ll try.” Briana flopped against Kiara, tucking her head under her aunt’s chin. “I was Big all day at school and had to be super big to help Ava.” “This isn’t something we can fix in a day, or even a month, probably. Let’s work on it tomorrow afternoon when you have more energy.” “What are we going to do until dinner if we can’t plan?” Kiara grinned. “Well, Rosa’s at her derby practice, but before she left, she asked Vonnie and me to make sure Melody takes a break. Can you get Little enough to help your sibling relax?” “Ohmygoshyesfinally!” Briana bounced excitedly on Kiara’s lap. “That’s my darling niece.” Kiara smiled. “Go find your sibling, but be careful on the stairs. You won't get to play if you fall down the stairs.” Briana was out of her bedroom like a shot! She slid to the top of the stairs on the hardwood balcony, took the stairs excruciatingly carefully, and barreled into Melody’s bedroom. “Sib! Sib! It’s time to play!” Melody looked up from their computer with tired annoyance. There were bags under their eyes, like an exhausted Big! No wonder Tia Rosa had mandated a break. As far as Briana was concerned, it should have come much earlier. “Bri, come on, Mom and Mamá both said you can’t bust in here when I’m working and interrupt me.” “Well, your Mamá said you have to take a break today.” Briana folded her arms smugly. “Nuh-uh.” Melody’s protest lacked confidence. The guilty look they gave when Kiara came into the room meant they knew their doom was sealed. “She said I should probably take one.” “Well, she told me to make sure you take a break.” Kiara stepped over to Melody and pulled open the back of their sweatpants waistband. “And to check your pullup.” “Hey!” Melody blushed, cringing away from Kiara. Melody’s scarlet face could mean only one thing – not only would they play, but Briana’s sib was a potty-pants! It was such a welcome return to the blissful days before Christmas that Briana almost cried. Her diaper got damp instead of her cheeks, which was fine. It was more than acceptable because it gave Briana something in common with her sib. “That’s a soaked pullup. You know the rules, Little One. If you’re that wet, you get a diaper until bedtime.” Kiara took Melody’s hand. Wisely, Melody didn’t resist being led to the drawing room changing table. Briana crawled along, speedrunning – as Melody would say – a trip into Littlespace. “I was hyper-focusing. I’m almost done with the reporting system for my app.” Melody sighed, confining their protests to the verbal sphere as they climbed onto the changing table. “I didn’t have time for the potty.” “Well, now you have to make time for a diaper change and play with your sister.” Kiara wasted no time stripping off Melody’s sweats and sopping pullup. It was good that Tia Rosa hadn’t seen the way Melody was leaking onto their sweats – her sib might have gotten spanked! “Okay, but then I have to…” “After that is dinner; when that’s done, your mamá will be home from practice. She’s going to be in charge of your evening from there.” “Well – okay.” Melody’s sagging into defeated obedience made total sense to Briana. It was tough to argue with someone with authority while they were wiping pee off your butt. The diaper that came on after didn’t instill authoritative feelings either. What the diaper did do was rekindle a gleam in Melody’s eye that Briana had sorely missed. The sibling that came down from the changing table was much sillier than the one that’d gone up. Briana got tackled – and tickled – and didn’t breathe a word of protest through her helpless giggles. They didn’t play anything elaborate like Cloudland. Despite that, it was the most fun Briana had had since her birthday. As Kiara sat on the drawing room couch with an amused look on her face, Briana and Melody chased each other around, playing silly games like Doggie (Melody was the doggie, as always), Super Space Dolls (Briana’s new Barbies had been transported to an alien planet the first time Melody played with them), and Chase the Bouncy Ball. Their last game left them both sweat-soaked and laughing, lying across each other on the floor. “What’s this project you’re always working on, Sib?” Briana nuzzled Melody’s sweaty cheek. “Ugh, it’s some dumb thing that I stupidly made open source, and now it has a whole community and whatever I can’t let down.” “Why don’t you let them take it over if you don’t like it?” “Because they’d make it wrong.” “That doesn’t make any sense. If you don’t like working on it, then…” “Hey, Auntie, Briana’s diaper is more than just sweaty.” “That sounded like tattling, Melody,” Kiara smirked. “I’m just taking care of my little sister.” Melody’s faux-innocent expression made Briana roll her eyes. “Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there!” Briana’s fine, strident statement ended in a squeak as Kiara heaved her onto the changing table. “What, you mean make it so you don’t have to sit in a wet diaper for all of dinner? You know Grandma’s coming over; it’s going to be a long one.” “Fine, don’t tell me about your dumb project.” Briana crossed her arms as Kiara tore the tapes on her diaper. “I don’t care.” “Good.” “Good!” “Good!” “GOOD!” “Okay, kids, that’s enough.” Kiara popped a pacifier in Briana’s mouth. She didn’t have one handy for Melody, but the look she gave Mel was enough to shut them down just as effectively. Tuckered out from chasing a bouncy ball and with bigger issues to worry about than Melody’s coding project, Briana closed her eyes and relaxed into Kiara’s gentle diaper change. She’d have to ration her big-ness tomorrow to keep enough to have a proper strategy session with her aunt. Then Ava, Arthur, Fabi, and the rest of the Littles would never have to be scared again!

Emily and Joyce will be having a lot of fun together in that sphere, but I can't promise to what extent that goes. Guess we'll have to see. Thank you for the comment and staying so invested! Beach house could be fun! It's alright for readers to make predictions or share their thoughts, but I can't imagine myself confirming any theories, but at best maybe dissuade some of them; I don't want to create any false expectations. Hmmm, that's an idea! Surely Emily could make a new career out of that! Thanks for commenting! Glad to hear people enjoy re-reading this! New chapter is soon! Promise! 33 - The New Routine Bewildered was Emily’s first instinctual response. As she tried to figure what’d just happened, she caught her tongue absentmindedly probing the flavored teat inside her mouth. She stared at Joyce’s back in silence, watching her work away. Her hand drifted to the ring of the pacifier, dangling her finger on it for a moment before pulling it out. “If I’d known how well that worked on you, I think I would’ve kept your paci on me a bit more often?” Joyce grinned as she peered over her shoulder. Emily wasn’t sharing the giddiness though as confusion reigned king in her mind. “What...what’d you do?” “I did what you asked me to do. I helped. Well, starting to help is a better way to put it.” She didn’t respond at first, but a small frown grew on her face as she looked at the baby trinket hanging from her finger. Not that she didn’t appreciate the gesture, but it wasn’t that simple… “I...thank you; but I’m serious, Joyce… What am I supposed to do?” “You’re supposed to relax for tonight,” Joyce calmly instructed, “and listen to how we’re going to make things better. You asked for my help, Emily, and of course I will give it to you, but you’re going to need to be open-minded about this.” Emily tripped over some hesitation before she spoke. “Open-minded…?” That felt oddly vague. Vague enough to remind her of what things were like right as they were just starting to explore their “alternate” lifestyle. Joyce turned from the stove and rested her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “Nothing you haven’t seen before. Just wrapped in a new bow.” Obviously Emily couldn’t fully decipher the meaning, but a sixth sense told her that the dedicated trip to the nursery for a single pacifier wasn’t some arbitrary thing. Joyce could see her looking down at the pacifier with a feeling of trepidation. Joyce gently lifted her gaze with a finger supporting her chin. “Don’t be scared. I’m not going to say I’ve thought of everything; this is something I really only started to play with recently. That being said, I don’t think what we’ll do is something you’ll hate. It’s just going to be...different.” “Different…? Joyce, I don’t get what you mean...” Emily expressed her concerns in the form of visual, yet Joyce’s comforting smile did not falter. “We’ll chat about it once we eat dinner, okay?” She cupped Emily’s cheeks as she kissed her forehead. “I just think maybe there’s a way we can change up the routine, is all.” She lowered her hand to raise the one Emily was using to hold the pacifier. “Why don’t you hang onto this for now?” “Joyce...” Emily thought she could see what Joyce was implying, and it honestly felt like a diminutive fix. “I’m not an actual baby...you can’t just...” She sighed a tiny bit, realizing that she was starting to contradict the very person she begged for guidance. “Pacifiers don’t solve problems for real babies, too, you know?” Joyce giggled as she took it from her hand. “Pacifiers do exactly what they’re called. They pacify,” she explained as she gently forced it back between Emily’s lips. “If you’re angry, sad, or even a little excited, think of this as a way to distract yourself or maybe an outlet to channel all that emotion? Emily, nothing meaningful has ever been done in a single day. You’ve been working so hard since the first day you lost your job, and I can’t tell you how proud that makes me. But now I want you to just calm down...and breathe.” Emily wanted to speak, to contradict or express her doubts, but she felt that if this imaginary spell was going to work, maybe she should stay gullible for at least a little longer. She took a moment and breathed through her nose, leaving the pacifier right where Joyce left it. “See?” Joyce stroked the top of her head. “We just spent a whole minute calming down, focusing on ourselves rather than anything unimportant!” Joyce chuckled. “We’re still doing just fine. You’re doing fine. We still have our house, and everything is as stable as it’s always been.” Emily had furrowed her brow, yet admittedly the crease in her forehead had lessened. “And you look like less of a worrywart now, too.” Joyce smiled. “Emily, I will never make light of your problems. Your struggles are mine just as much, but I need you to know that this isn’t as all-consuming as you might think. If I have to pull you aside like this to remind you of that, I won’t hesitate, understood?” Emily instinctually wanted to reply, but reserved herself to a visual nod. She did feel calmer now. It was more than enough for Joyce. “Good. We’ll have plenty of time to brainstorm during dinner and I can voice my suggestions then. For the time being though, just try not to have too many big thoughts, okay?” She tapped her finger on the plastic shield. “This is your friendly reminder. Stay small for a little bit. We’ll tackle things as we need to.” It was with reddened cheeks Emily continued to help make dinner. It was a weird limbo situation though. She wasn’t exactly Emily, but not Emmy either. As she helped cook with a pacifier in her mouth, Joyce still seemed to regard her as her normal self, albeit with a little more comfort in her words, like Emily needing handling with kid gloves in regard to her emotions. “Howh mush lohnger?” Emily found herself asking around the pacifier. The sentence was finished before she could regret the attempt as a pacifier accent seemed to override her speech. “Should be just a few more minutes,” Joyce flashed her an unperturbed smile, like the sight or sound itself wasn’t especially stimulating to Joyce, of all people, in any seeming way. Emily figured there to be some kind of teasing or sly comment, but it never came. Maybe it was her way of being considerate, or how to treat this as some kind of normal. If I need this, she probably doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it… Emily silently reflected. “Okay...” Joyce decided to untie and slip her apron off. “Emily? Could you put these back in the closet?” She asked as she held the apron out for her. Emily quietly nodded as she took her own apron off, but not quite before Joyce could give her a hand in undoing the knot behind her first. After she pulled it off, Emily was then hit with a one-two as Joyce briefly rested her arms on Emily’s shoulders, gently tugging the pacifier from her mouth and planting a kiss on her temple. “Thank you for helping me cook!” “I can always help...” Emily said in a shy voice as she walked over to the closet. As they ate, Emily couldn’t bring herself to have much conversation. Joyce did chat casually, like there wasn’t some impending bomb Emily expected her to drop at any moment. “What’s wrong?” Joyce asked with a concerned look. “Wait...it doesn’t taste bad, does it?” A look of horror started to consume her. “No, it tastes fine...” Emily mumbled with a slight grin as she angled her gaze closer to the table than Joyce’s eyes. “I’m just...a little scared...” “Scared?” Emily nodded. “I dunno...” She looked more clearly at her, “I’m just thinking that whatever it is that’s gonna happen...I might not like it cuz...it’s gonna scare me...” Joyce nodded thoughtfully, yet with stupefying clarification she asked, “So you’re scared that this ‘thing’ will scare you?” Of course when repeated through another mouth, Emily felt stupid… “Emily,” Joyce left a moment to get her full attention, “I don’t necessarily think you should stop looking for work; if that’s what you want, I respect that. However, I think you need to slow down your pace.” It was a no-brainer, yet the thought of any kind of delay did make Emily worry. It only made her think of all the potential opportunities she could have had, had she been any faster. It was the fear of missing out. “How...how slow?” Emily hesitantly asked. She didn’t figure there was a specific number in mind, yet she needed to know how deep this went. With, in fact, a specific number in mind, Joyce said, “An hour a day at most, kind of slow. And that’s for the weekdays only. Weekends I don’t want you stressing over that kind of stuff.” “An hour…? But that’s...” Emily had an idea in mind, yet Joyce’s figure grossly underbid her own. She was already spending the near entirety of her day job searching, and cutting it down to a mere fraction of that was essentially killing her chances altogether, wasn’t it? “With how things have been, Emily, I think that’s perfectly reasonable.” Joyce said firmly. “I’m going to be honest because I want to make a point to you: there’s absolutely no rush in you getting another job. I intend to be the breadwinner and I will be the financial support. Aside from that though, I’d never stop you from doing what you want, but I will regulate it, now that you’ve asked me to?” She smiled, but Emily was still looking conflicted. Emily tried to reason Joyce’s viewpoint. It was somewhat unfortunate, but Emily had always known before Joyce saying it herself that she couldn’t ever hope to financially compare. Joyce was the foundation, and whatever Emily contributed in that sphere likely couldn’t do nearly as much. Or rather, money was such an excess for Joyce that the concept of spending had become effectively bottomless, so what did it matter adding 1 to infinity? “Related to that,” Joyce continued, “I think this is a good chance to add some structure to your routine. Just because you aren’t working, that doesn’t mean a day can’t be productive? First and foremost, we’re going to decide on a time in the day when you can use the computer to job hunt-- Emily, don’t make a face.” Joyce paused herself just to scold the girl, who was starting to make a face… “I don’t need a specific time…!” Emily argued with a tinge of whine. It was one thing to be imposed with a harsh time restriction, but when she was allowed for it as well? “Yes you do,” Joyce gently, yet firmly contradicted, “otherwise you could be overlapping with all the other things that’ll keep your day busy?” The mention of other things surprised Emily a little, but she sort of expected it… But still, “What happens if I get an email, or a reply to a job offer or interview? I need to respond as soon as possible!” While this was constructive and it felt needed, Joyce’d be lying if she said that there wasn’t some element of “parenting” to this that she felt, and certainly enjoyed. “We can discuss that when it happens,” Joyce decided, “But until then, I won’t budge.” Emily felt defeated. There wouldn’t be any room for argument in getting that to expand. It was probably going to be the one thing of this entire bill that she wouldn’t negotiate on, given it being her greatest grievance... “What else…?” She asked her. Joyce quietly sighed, now arriving to the parts she wasn’t a fan of personally. It was likely trivial to Emily, but Joyce wasn’t excited about sharing her responsibilities, at least with Emily. In a power dynamic that poised Joyce at the top as the dominant caregiver, it felt wrong to make her charge participate, like giving her housework. “I...want to give you some chores to do on a daily basis.” “Chores…?” Emily asked, surprised. Joyce nodded. “Things like running the dishwasher, making the bed...vacuuming...” Now her lack of preparedness was starting to show. This was obviously something she didn’t want to dig into because she didn’t like the idea altogether. Yet, the duality was that it benefited Emily despite Joyce’s selfish suffering. “I don’t mind,” Emily spoke truthfully, “but...are you okay with it?” “Yes, I am,” Joyce smiled warmly as she lied through her teeth. “We can make a chart,” she did start to see the fun side of things, imagining a cute chore chart for Emily on the fridge, “and that can help keep you busy for at least a little bit.” Call it weird, but Emily didn’t mind the idea of housework. She said it herself and quite clearly that it was eternal boredom without Joyce, as well as tiring from job hunting. Not that she wanted to stop, but she knew her body needed to rest; she just needed someone to force her into it. “I can vacuum the rooms and wash the bedding?” Emily chimed in, better shaping Joyce’s ideas. “Mhm, that could definitely work,” Joyce nodded. “Oh, and I guess I could tidy up the nurse--” “Absolutely not.” Joyce didn’t look so friendly this time, like one of her prized assets was about to be attacked. “I want to be the one in charge of the nursery; I’m your mommy, after all.” The seriousness in her look was almost absurd to the point that the uninformed would be expected to laugh, or find the look on her face quite strange. Emily, however, instantly understood just how much it meant to her. In a strange way, giving these sorts of duties to Joyce was a big step for her, oddly enough… “O...okay...” Emily nodded, seeing that she nearly crossed a line. “Everywhere but there?” Joyce paused, considering any loopholes she may have left. “That’s fine. But, let me know if any of this feels like it’s too much for you, okay?” Her expression softened. “I don’t want to overload you...” “Joyce,” Emily gave a look that thought her to be a fool, “Up until recently I was working full time...I can do some chores.” She chuckled. “I know, I know...” She smiled, happy to see that at least Emily could make mention of it now without sour feelings. “Is that it…?” Emily asked, not implying whether she wanted more or not, just wanting to know in general. “...” Joyce took a bite from her food first. “It can be?” “What do you mean?” “I’d say we’re past the point of me getting to make decisions based on what I want. Now I want to include you; what we both want.” For once, Emily felt like she could see a little into Joyce’s headspace. “You mean, something related to the pacifier?” Again, she didn’t think that it was an unrelated, out-of-the-blue sort of thing. Joyce nodded. “To be honest, I think it might help you out a little.” And like that, Emily had fallen off the wagon. “How so…?” “We haven’t even mentioned your nursery once in the past week, Emily.” Joyce tried to hide her own frustrations, because she knew that this would be good for her as well. Deep down though, this idea wasn’t out of complete self interest. “I know we’ve had obstacles in the past, but I really want to give you a space in the day where you can just unwind; forget about the complicated stuff and focus on relaxing.” “What about you?” Emily asked after a moment of silence. “I don’t want to talk about me because I don’t want it to influence you,” Joyce said, “I want you to be selfish, Emily.” What she wasn’t sharing were the benefits she’s reap from this as well. It wasn’t any secret to herself that Emily being in poor sorts lately has affected Joyce and her attitude at the office. Nothing jeopardizing, but more than anything she simply wanted their old dynamic back, if not toned up a bit. “How would that work…?” She asked hesitantly. “Well, I guess it’d start once I get home from work each day. Assuming that all the chores have been done by then, we’ll go to the nursery and get you all set up. For the rest of the night you’ll get to be my baby girl.” “What about in the morning, though?” Emily asked, already wondering what was to be done with her diaper. Joyce did leave early in the morning, after all. “I’ll make sure to get you into some panties before I leave,” Joyce chuckled, “I feel pretty confident that you’ll sleep through it anyway.” “Yeah, but, if we do it every day...doesn’t that mean I won’t ever have a chance to have…’grown-up’ time around you?” She most certainly didn’t like that. Being a baby was fun, but it wasn’t a complete end-all be all. She needed some kind of breathing room around Joyce. “You most certainly will. First and foremost, you’ll always be the one that decides if we’re going to do it that night. If you say ‘yes’, we go to your nursery, but if it’s a ‘no’, you won’t hear me mention it until the next day. Emily, even when you are my little girl, there’s nothing stopping you from asking or talking about what you want, you know? The way I see it, all we’re really doing is giving you a space that discourages that sort of thing, but it’s not like you can’t be yourself. This isn’t meant to be you putting on an act; I want this to be an outlet for yourself.” “It is,” Emily found herself agreeing almost immediately, “but...I dunno. Maybe too much of a good thing is a bad thing? I guess we haven’t really tried...” “Maybe, but if we might have those kinds of limits, this is a safe way for us to explore them. At any point you make it clear that you want to stop, we stop.” They ate some more as Emily took a deep breath, finally starting to fully wrap her head around everything. She didn’t expect this sort of thing to be the rest of her life, but she knew that it was going to be like this for at least a little bit. Her bias still couldn’t shake the urgency she felt to strive for “adult” things, but she finally caved and Joyce was telling her to stop, so stopping she ever so reluctantly was. “So it all starts tomorrow…?” She asked as Joyce started to clear up their spaces. “I think it’d be best,” Joyce offered, but added much more resolutely, “but regardless, your computer time is still being limited.” Emily limited her disappointment to her mouth as she nodded. In that case, tomorrow would go back to being the sucky status quo she’d already found herself in if there wasn’t anything at all to do. “Then let’s start tomorrow.” Emily agreed. “And about the second half we discussed,” Joyce explained as she came over to wipe Emily’s face in a casual manner, “you are always in control, and like I said, you always decide whether we’ll do it or not, but...please give me a gentle reminder if I accidentally get pushy after a while...” “You mean if we haven’t done it in a bit?” She asked, wiping the residue of water off her mouth. Joyce nodded with a slightly bashful look. “We’ve talked a lot about how I can sort of lose control, and I know you understand how I can get, but...it’s still sort of embarrassing.” “It’s okay if it happens,” Emily smiled, “I mean, I’d rather not be asked every few minutes, but if its been what you think is a long time, please let me know; I...I get it that this is supposed to be for me, but it’s obviously something for you, too.” Need she remind Joyce that she was the one who pulled her into the rabbit hole first? “That sounds good to me.” Joyce nodded her head. “I love you so much, you know?” “...I love you too.” Emily reciprocated with a goofy smile and reddened cheeks. It still elicited a fuzzy feeling in her chest just to hear and say those words. They came in together for a hug and embraced one another, yet as they shared an intimate moment, it was disrupted by a loud, sniffing. Emily turned her head up to see a flaring nostril. “Uh...what?” Emily giggled. “Uh huh,” Joyce seemed unimpressed, “thought so.” “Thought what?” “I thought that you didn’t take a shower or bath today.” The realization made Emily freeze up. She sniffed herself, not finding any sort of foul odor, but at least not a freshly imbued either. “I...was busy?” “You were distracted,” Joyce disapproved. “We’re adding baths to your schedule, too. Come on, off we go,” she waved her hand to motion Emily ahead first. “Showers are faster!” Emily complained with a sense of play, although she did feel a tiny bit embarrassed. “Showers are for big girls that can keep themselves squeaky clean. I need to take my time with you!” She laughed after catching Emily’s grin. “Besides, I wanna monopolize every second I can get with you!” They both entered the bathroom. Everything was at peace again as Emily and Joyce were dressed in their pajamas, sitting on the bed, specifically Emily in Joyce’s lap as she kept a towel wrapped around her head. Both were on their phones, only Joyce’s torso was a bit taller which allowed her phone to not block Emily’s. Both were quietly browsing up until there was a sigh from Joyce. “What?” Emily asked as she comically turned her gaze up to the ceiling. “I just got some news from Sheila...” Joyce explained with a glum attitude. “Remember that business dinner my mom asked me about?” Emily did her best to rack her brain, but nothing of substance was bubbling to the top. “Uh...” “I have a business dinner coming up this week and I knew it’d be a late night, but I wasn’t expecting it to turn into something overnight...” “What do you mean?” Emily started leaning back to dig her head into Joyce. “The dinner’s at a hotel,” Joyce wrapped her arms around Emily’s waist and flopped on her back. “It’s a nice hotel, but of course the host thinks that he’s doing some of us guests a favor by buying us our own rooms for the night. You’d think people would stop doing that by now…?” She mostly complained amongst herself, because the concept of buying someone a hotel room for the night seemed like a gesture beyond Emily’s purse strings. “Can’t you just turn it down?” Emily partly lifted herself to turn over and rest her chin on Joyce’s sternum. “It wouldn’t look good,” Joyce said as she paused to groan, “being given a room usually means that there’s going to be some kind of breakfast in the morning...at least with this guy.” “Maybe he has a thing for you?” Emily cheekily giggled, but Joyce didn’t outwardly laugh. “Well, if he tries to make a move like that, I’ll just explain that I’m too busy managing your naps and bedtime...” She carried away with the thought like it was an honest threat. “Take a joke!” Emily giggled as the smile did eventually come to Joyce’s face. “What kinda host is it?” “He manages breweries. I can’t say I know much about the business behind alcohol, though.” Joyce gave a ‘no idea’ kind of look. “I don’t think I’m someone special to him, though; he does this for just about any big head that gets invited to his stuff.” “So you’re a big head?” Emily asked, sneakily prodding for information on Joyce. “I’m a mommy who played her cards right.” She smiled as she deflected the chance for inquiry, yet went back to frowning. “But, if he makes me stay the night, I’m not going to be back to spend the night with you!” Now it sounded as if a grave injustice had been committed. Emily didn’t exactly look pleased either as she shrugged. “It’s okay...It’s only one night, and it sounds like this is for your reputation?” “It is...” Joyce bit her lower lip in thought. “You...you could always come with me?” Joyce perked up at the realization. “Huh? Go to the business dinner with you?” Emily looked a tad bit nervous. “I don’t wanna intrude on that kinda stuff...” “You wouldn’t be intruding on anything,” Joyce patted the top of her toweled head. “Believe me, plus ones are more common than not. If anything, you’d help me stand out less?” Emily’s mind couldn’t help but drift to a slightly more sensitive area though. “Yeah but...even if you’re dating another woman…?” Joyce didn’t seem to be fazed, however. “I don’t think it’d affect much?” Joyce chuckled. “Really, all that worries me is the other thing about us going public. Which it won’t,” she reassured Emily and herself. “I might just surprise a few people in my spheres,” she giggled. “Most importantly, I would be a little excited at the idea of showing you off…?” “Showing me off? Like I’m a prize or something?” Emily asked with intrigue. “Other than the person themselves, one of the most fun parts about having a lover is the exclusivity,” Joyce smiled even wider as she leaned her head forward to kiss her. “I get to show everyone how stunning you are and make it abundantly clear that no one else can have you. It goes both ways, you know?” “What would I even say?” Emily asked. “I mean...I dunno if I could handle trying to socialize with any sorta bigwigs...I imagine if we weren’t dating and I just met you, you’d probably be sort of intimidating...” “That’s why you’d be on a tight leash the whole night?” Joyce offered as a solution. “Where I go, you go, vice versa. There’d be lots of yummy food there, too...” She added with coyness. “Like buffet food?” Emily asked with a neutral face. Unfortunately, those never seemed to be too stellar. A bunch of heated aluminum trays filled with lukewarm food. “Dunno, but I’d wager the food you’d have there is better than mine; probably a little above Carmine’s?” Above Carmine’s? That was setting the bar, and Emily falling for the bait was showing. “...I don’t even have a dress ready...” Now she was simply being difficult for fun. Joyce rolled her eyes. “Like you haven’t been pampered like a princess already. Of course you’ll have something to wear! Now come on; wanna come, or do you want to make me lonely for the entire night?” “Fine, fine...I’ll go.” “Great!” Joyce smiled with a giggle. “I’ll ask Amy about getting us a child leash, and--” “Shut-uuup!” Emily groaned, rearing her head back to devour her prey like a beast as she smothered Joyce with a kiss on the lips. Joyce could only flash her teeth with a squeamish noise of glee as she unwrapped the towel from Emily’s head just so she could run her hands through her hair. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you be so playful!” It was her way of saying how great it was to finally have her away from the computer. “Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice...” Emily said light-heartedly, but there was some truth to it. “Shush,” Joyce pressed a finger on her lips. “You’re going to be absolutely fine. Now let’s get to bed already; I feel like it’s been a millennia since we both went to bed at the same time!” As Joyce leaned over for the lights, Emily oddly found herself scanning her gaze across the bed, feeling like there was something missing. “Oops, almost forgot him!” A voice could be heard as a stuffed mochi fell into the valley between Emily and Joyce’s bodies. “Where’d he go?” Emily asked, truthfully forgetting their last meeting. “You left him in the bathroom,” Joyce grinned, “I made sure to blow-dry him, though; it was a little humid there...” “Since when do you dry off mochi?” Emily laughed. “Since they started having hair.” Joyce played along, but realism quickly caught up with her mind. “Actually...” she wore a slightly grossed out look, “hairy sweets doesn’t exactly sound all that great...” Emily shuffled herself closer against Joyce in bed. “And I’m supposed to be the silly one...” “No, no, don’t worry, you still definitely are...” Joyce stretched as she found a comfortable position, one that involved Emily’s head nuzzled close against her chest. Most certainly for Emily, it felt like the greatest sleep she’d had in a millennia. Emily, Good morning! I made sure to give you a big big kiss before I left for work! Today’s the first day we’re trying out a new routine, and I haven’t made anything official yet, so I wanted to leave you a note. Today, I want you to do a couple chores around the house. 1. Make the bed (Tug the corners of the bedding to get out all the wrinkles!) 2. Vacuum the living room (I already plugged it in the wall by the TV for you!) 3. Make yourself some lunch (You’ve earned it!) 4. Call me at 12:30PM (I need my recharge!) *5. 1:00-2:00PM You may use the computer for job searching (This one is OPTIONAL!) 6. Put our clothes in the washer at 3:30PM. (I have the washer all set for you, just press the ‘Start’ button. I’ll take care of the rest when I get home!) 7. Don’t cry too much from missing me! (30 more minutes!) 8. Wait 30 minutes 9. Give me the BIGGEST hug you can when I walk through the door! Make sure you don’t overexert yourself today, okay? Call me right away if there’s something you don’t understand or if you just wanna hear my voice! I love you so so so so so so much! XOXOXO - Joyce ❤ Emily had never seen Joyce write this letter, or any kind of letter, so there was room for it being a fake message and from someone else, yet...as she finished reading with a stupid grin on her face, she knew it couldn’t be anyone but the very Joyce herself. It was a lot of words and a lot of love for really three small things to do in the house, padded out by her own interests, as well as keeping herself fed and speaking with Joyce. Hopefully her list of tasks would expand, but for now this was a start. Leaving the small note on the kitchen table, Emily walked over to the fridge to at least have breakfast before washing up to start the day. She tended to those exact things, noticing the vacuum sitting by the wall as she passed through the living room, and first moved back into the bedroom. The bed wasn’t a complete mess, but obviously it had just been slept in. Trying to channel what would have been her working energy into housley duties, Emily took the route of completely stripping the top of the bed just to neaten it down to the very sheets. Overkill most likely, yet Emily felt that if she was too average about it, she’d be out of things to do in a matter of minutes. And while she worked she started to think to herself on the lack of things to do. If Emily could estimate it, even if she gave her all for these tasks, which she planned to, there’d still definitely be time in excess...time she could use to browse on the computer… Her mind felt a little at odds with her heart though. She agreed with Joyce that she’d have designated computer time… But if it were in moderation, maybe? And, as long as she got the stuff done on the list that she wanted, wouldn’t it bolster her case that she could balance both things? Prove she didn’t have to be so restricted? As she reorganized the bed, it was coming closer to a decided conclusion… One honest and thorough vacuuming later it wasn’t even time for lunch yet; just shy of two hours off. As expected, Joyce gave her an ample amount of time. Strangely finding herself looking out for anyone in the apartment that didn’t exist, Emily crept off to the office. Untouched, Emily sat down in the chair. She wiggled the mouse and the screen came to life. Just maybe thirty minutes to check on my emails and stuff… Maybe look at a few postings… Despite it being just another day in the office, Sheila was glad to see that her boss seemed a bit more alert and on task today. It was as if her earlier troubles had sorted themselves out. Either than, or maybe she’d detached herself from the person that she told her about. Either way, her performance was back to where it usually was, and that was a good thing. “Oh, Sheila, that’s right,” Joyce said as she accepted her scheduled drink, “I guess I am staying at the hotel the night of the dinner.” She said it with a smile, which didn’t flag as a problem for Sheila, but it did seem a tinge of strange. She’d never known her boss to be exactly glad over gestures like that. Maybe the first few times, but they tend to add up to the point of being an inconvenience. Sheila didn’t always accompany her, but even from the sidelines it was sort of understandable… “That’s good to know,” Sheila nodded as she made a note on her phone. “I’ll make sure to confirm your reservation later today.” “Thank you. Oh, one more thing, can you make sure that the reservation is for two?” “Two?” Sheila asked, signaling it as confirmation for her ears, but she was honestly surprised. She nodded with a faint glow on her face, like the sun itself was shining from her imagination. “Oh, and that also reminds me; do you want to come, too? I heard that the food is going to be good?” “I appreciate the offer, Ms.Summers, but I’d rather not impose on something like that… If it were for work-related things though, I’d be willing...” “I wouldn’t want you to work the night of a dinner,” Joyce waved off the notion. Truthfully, everything with Emily had put her in a good mood. She was feeling generous, and Sheila’s hard work was always due for some kind of reward. “What if I put you up in a room, at least?” Joyce continued to press, then she remembered hearing from Sheila something on a not so great night. “You and your boyfriend? It’s the least I could do for all your hard work?” And need she mention all the things that she asked of Sheila in excess… “Ms.Summers, I couldn’t do that to you. I really do appreciate it, but we don’t need to--” “But I want to?” Joyce pushed. “I don’t want you to.” Sheila said politely, but firmly. Joyce resisted a grin. Fortunately and not so fortunately, she didn’t fold like Emily usually would. “You haven’t taken any vacations this year yet, right?” Joyce asked. If there was one thing she certainly could remember about Sheila, it was the times that she wasn’t there, awfully because those were so few and far between. “How about that then? You take the day off and I give you and your boyfriend a hotel room? Is it not a nice hotel?” “It is...but if I’m going to be there, I should be on the clock to help--” “But if you were on the clock, how could I get you to justify accepting my generosity?” Joyce raised an eyebrow. “Sheila, let me pay you back a little for everything that you do?” Accepting gifts wasn’t Sheila’s strongest suit. They were nice, but as the supporting role for so long, minimal recognition had simply been the norm. To disrupt that was...well, disruptive. “I...suppose I can ask my boyfriend...” Sheila gave no definitive answer. She wasn’t going to try and talk her boyfriend out of it, but she still didn’t feel wholly comfortable. Maybe it was weird to think, yet it felt like she hadn’t done anything to earn it? Which objective was being extremely modest, given just how much Sheila considered her tasks to be the status quo. And on another note, a dog sitter would be in line as well. “Good!” Joyce nodded with approval. “You don’t have to come to the business dinner, but try to go out to eat? Do something fun; collect receipts for me. I’ll reimburse you for everything.” “I can’t do that!” Sheila raised her voice a little, quickly composing herself. “A room is more than enough, Ms.Summers. I can’t take advantage of you. It’d be a day off, anyway?” Joyce sighed, but still looked happy to have made progress. “Well, if you can go, that’s great; book yourself a room, don’t be stingy, because at the minimum I’m at least paying for that. From there, just let me know if there’s any other kind of bill.” It was most certainly all a definitive maybe in Sheila’s mind, yet gratitude was of course in need. “Thank you for being so generous, Ms.Summers...” “Thank you for always keeping me afloat,” Joyce smiled. Be it in the office or the home, she always seemed to have someone supporting her now. Sheila excused herself while Joyce continued with her work with a drink to help her move along. It was already a regular thing for her, but especially now she was eager to get back home. All the little things she wrote on the note that was left for Emily made her heart flutter and fueled the excitement she was having just to walk through the door. Would Emily really be waiting to give her a hug? She couldn’t wipe a silly grin off her face just from thinking about it. But before that’d even happen, there was also the time that she’d get to talk to her; in all honesty, that was her favorite. It was like a small recharge that she could use to power herself through the rest of the day. Will she call first? Joyce had her guesses, yet continued to play the innocent schoolgirl as she worked away. As her fingers moved so did the time, passing and passing, broken up by a few more talks with Sheila and hearing from other executives. No official meetings yet, thankfully. But, beyond all that boorish routine, the clock was finally arriving at noon-thirty and it was just about time to talk to Emily. Maybe she was making a big deal out of it, but Joyce still made sure that her phone was in clear sight just in case if the ringing somehow didn’t catch her attention. Once it was past a couple minutes, Joyce set aside her work, paying direct attention to her phone. “Maybe she’s busy…?” Joyce quietly murmured, lifting up her phone. She knew she was being overly punctual. Maybe just a few more minutes. 12:35 12:39 12:44 12:49 Finally, Joyce was somewhat frowning with a concerned expression. While there wasn’t much experience to make a fair judgement on something like this, Emily didn’t seem the type to forget about calling her. Giving up on the waiting game, Joyce dialed for Emily on her phone. Emily finally remembered to blink as she rubbed her eyes a little. She was in the midst of writing another cover letter. Easily this is what ate away at her the most, namely because it forced her to exercise her writing muscle, of which she had so little of. Unbeknownst to her, the time she’d been on the computer grossly passed 30 minutes over 2 hours ago. After a good night’s rest her body felt refreshed to find the rhythm again that put her in such a sorry state all over again. Not only that, but the rhythm apparently involved a faint vibrational buzzing noise now, yet it pulsated with its noise. Emily stopped for a second to see if she was hearing things, which she assumed she was, because eventually it did stop. “...I’ll just finish this letter, apply to the other position, then it should probably be time to call Joyce...” She muttered to herself, tracking the time on a sense of feeling rather than visual observation. A missed call. Joyce didn’t like the sight of that. Now it really fell out of Emily’s habits. She tried calling again, but it rang right up until the voicemail. Was everything okay at home? Did something happen? Or maybe she just fell asleep… With that in mind, it certainly was likely. Yet still, losing out on her chance to hear from Emily put a visible frown on her face, like a promised surprise that wasn’t going to happen. Finally though Joyce had enough of the pointless thinking. She navigated through her phone until she had her snapshot back into the apartment via the security cameras. She didn’t have any plans to snoop on Emily, she just wanted to make sure that she was okay… Though, there wasn’t anyone to be found. At least, not in the kitchen, not the living room, not the guest room, not even their own bedroom? While the nursery had no camera inside of it, a funny coincidence considering it wasn’t initially planned to be one, it was locked, and only Joyce had a key. There was only one place left to check, but obviously she wasn’t going to be in there. After all, she had no business there until… And yet of course, there she was. Joyce’s concern shriveled up as soon as she saw Emily, absorbed yet again on the computer as she typed away. She couldn’t see what Emily was up to, but if Joyce could guess, it was an answer she would not be happy with. She sighed as she put down her phone, feeling what she’d best equate to disappointment. Emily had promised her, and by some way or another she had convinced herself to break it. Was she mad at her? No, of course not, but it meant to Joyce that she was apparently being too soft. “Done...” Emily sighed as she somehow found a moment of reprise in the vicious cycle of job hunting. It was long enough for her to check the time, instantly feeling a worrisome feeling in her chest. It was nearly 2:30. All she could wonder in a panic was where the time had gone. Like a cold splash of water she was sober of her technological addition and rapidly closed everything on screen. “Shit…! I was supposed to call her!” Emily realized far too late as she practically jumped out of the chair. “Phone, phone?!” She shouted for the inanimate companion, feeling even worse as that distant buzzing she thought to be mindless noises was actually an important call. It was laying on the nightstand in their room where she had left it while making the bed. Sure enough, her heart sank even further once she saw the missed calls from Joyce. Just as she was about to call her, she stopped for a moment. What if it was a bad time to call now? She could be in a meeting or something? Emily stared down at the screen with a troubled look. Knowing Joyce, she was probably worried; she would want to hear from Emily in some way at least. If not call, then… TO: JOYCE Emily: I’m sososososososo sorry! I was supposed to call!! She sat on the bed nervously with her knees pulled into her chest. Call it a small growing dependency, but she was kneading her toes into the top of Pip who had been nearby. A few minutes later and a reply came. Joyce: I’m in a meeting right now… can’t really talk. Were you sleeping? Apparently she was right about the meeting part, which made her sigh with relief that she did choose to text her instead. But in her text, there weren't any warm or fuzzy words. She was busy, so it made sense why there wouldn’t be, yet Emily couldn’t help but let her guilty conscious already see it as a targeted message. And that part hurt the most. The thought of disappointing Joyce. It was supposed to be day one. The start of something new; rehabilitation. And yet she’d already gone and blown it. What would Joyce think? Emily was better than this. She should know better. She could do better. She was certain to… So,.with a lesson like this already taught to herself...if Joyce didn’t know, maybe it’d be better to just forget about it just this once…? It was a good scare for Emily and it still left Joyce happy. That being said, she’d have to be extra sure to make it up to Joyce when she got home, even if she doesn’t know the full story… Emily: Sorry...I dozed off after vacuuming… The guilt she felt was immeasurable, yet she knew it was a plausible explanation. She wasn’t lying maliciously; it was a white lie… Joyce did it all the time too, didn’t she? So how was this any different? They both had their secrets, so, this was fine...It was okay… There wasn’t any response, and Emily left it alone with the assumption that Joyce didn’t have time to get back to her. Feeling scared straight now, Emily avoided the office like the plague as she tried to keep herself busy. Just to make herself feel like she was still a good person, she tried to adhere to Joyce’s list by making herself lunch even if it did come late. Even if she was being an adult right now, she knew the exact feeling she was going through right now. Naughtiness. Not the sexy, fun kind. But the remorseful, troublesome one. It was what made her feel so small right then despite it being an honest mistake… Everything was going to be fine, yet she lied to Joyce to keep the peace and seemingly got away with it. She tried to forget about it as the day went on, calming down as the time passed… Joyce didn’t move for a second as she stared at the door leading into the apartment, but braced herself for whatever, given what she saw this morning over the cameras. Upon opening the door there was no one waiting for her at the entrance. She frowned a little, honestly disappointed, even if it was sort of joking that she wanted a hug when she came back. I totally wanted one… She silently pouted in her head. Turning around she closed the door and slipped off her heels. “Welcome...BACK!” A loud voice shouted with a wavering quiver as it came with a burst of energy. Joyce slightly stumbled to the door once a pair of arms assaulted her from behind, wrapping tightly around her waist. “E-Emily?” Joyce chuckled as she tried to turn her head around, yet her eyes widened as she saw what she thought she did. With a beet-red face Emily was pressing herself up against Joyce firmly, eyes sealed shut and keeping her lips pursed. While it was strange to see her like that despite the loud and energetic voice, it started to seem more forced than casual once Joyce noticed her distinct lack of clothes. No shirt, pants, nothing. Not even underwear. “W-welcome home...” Emily hugged tighter still from behind as her feet touched the cold slate of the shoe area. Joyce finally worked her hands off of her so she could swap for a frontal hug, which Emily continued to embrace strongly like her modesty depended on it. “H-hello to you too...” Joyce still kept an awkward expression, clearly not expecting this to be her greeting home. “Emily...why are you naked?” “C-...cuz I felt like it...” She tried to look pouty with a protruded lip and pupils to the side, yet her furrowed brow and tomato-red cheeks seemed to sorely contradict whatever act she was trying to go for. Joyce figured there was more to whatever game she was playing, but she also figured Emily was too embarrassed to put it all out into words at once. “Uh...huh?” Joyce smiled a bit, finding a bit of control again once it became obviously clear that Emily was struggling so dearly to be off-the-cuff. “And what’s the reason for that?” “Be...cuz...cuz I...I put all my panties in the wash,” Emily says with a weak ‘hmmf’, already abandoning her stubborn, cool-guy attitude for a different, logical progression kind of trope. Her foreplay was crumbling on account of being too embarrassed to actually carry it out. “All of them…?” Joyce seriously considered it for a second, then had a change of tune once she remembered her own promise. Was this her way of saying that she was ready for baby time? “Well, in that case, it doesn’t sound like you’ve got any panties to wear, huh?” Joyce said, repeating Emily’s own words, yet with a hammer and stake to solidify the loose logic Emily had laid out so hastily. “Y-yeah…?” Emily started to confirm with diction, yet it fell apart just as fast into a question. Had this been a stage production Joyce would have scolded her for making it sound like she herself was the mastermind, but she let it slide on account of her benevolence. “Yes, that is what it sounds like. And you certainly know that my panties won’t fit you either?” Emily had slowly been burying her face into Joyce, still in absolute personal disbelief she had willed herself to fling at Joyce butt-naked. Hopefully this was giving the effect she wanted… “Mhm...” Joyce tutted, slowly pulling Emily back by the wrists to bring her full naked self into view. Emily was like a stumbling doe, nearly slipping over as she tried to follow Joyce’s movements yet simultaneously keep her knees together to mask her crotch. “Now, now,” Joyce gave a stern look, “it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she chided. And with extreme reluctance and a small whimper, Emily did shakily pull her knees apart. It was hard to believe she thought that she could pull a bratty act on Joyce while looking like this. Joyce exaggerated a long sigh. “Well since it’s come to this and you’ve gotten rid of all your big girl undies, I guess that really only leaves us with what really seems to be the more appropriate choice for you, doesn’t it?” Emily quietly nodded with shaky legs. “Uh...uh-huh...” And as Joyce looked at her with a waning shock factor, she remembered that Emily already had broken her promise by using the computer so early today. Keeping that in mind, it may have made a little sense as to why Emily was acting so brazenly right now. Maybe working extra hard for brownie points to cushion the moment Joyce inevitably found out? That is, assuming she hadn’t already... Fine. If Emily wanted to do this on account of guilt, Joyce would let her. “And what would that be?” Joyce asked as she crouched to come eye to eye with the embarrassed, naked girl. “Hm? Tell me,” she smiled, “Since you were a silly girl and lost all your panties in the wash, what does that mean you have to wear now?” “D-diapers...” Emily managed to say, but not without looking away. A few fingers found her chin though as they steered her gaze back at Joyce. “I can’t hear you if you look away, honey,” Joyce put on her best chuckle, the kind of laugh a gentle villainess would use. But in Joyce’s headcanon, this was all perfectly justified. “Go on, what do we need to put you in? Say it clearly.” “D-...diapers...” Emily said once more, only quieter as she did her best to look straight on, her face feeling hotter than it had ever been before. “That’s right!” Joyce beamed. “Diapers! Thick, cushy diapers for my little girl,” she smiled as she raised her hand along Emily’s wrist to turn it into a holding of hands than a dragging of the wrist. Though it was virtually the same as Joyce assumed the lead in walking to the nursery. The door was unlocked in a matter of seconds, and Emily was right on the changing table not much long after. It’s been too too long! Joyce practically screamed in her head. She wanted to squeal with joy that they were finally using this space again, like they’d finally opened back up to their other halves after so long. It was like giving oxygen to just a single lung; it was wrong, unnatural, and unsustainable. “Where did we ever get the idea of letting you get to have panties?” Joyce tutted as her outward, stern persona continued. “Maybe I’m the silly one for entertaining it...” “Y-yeah...” Emily filled the space with whatever sounded most agreeable as her head felt fried from the overstimulation. Regardless, Joyce seemed to be in a good mood, so Emily considered it a success, especially because she looked like she didn’t find out about the computer, nor she had any suspicions… Mission successful? Joyce took a long breath as she smiled down at Emily from above, leaning over to take a diaper out of the basket. She giggled so sweetly as she knew this was going to be a great night; making good on the lovely, special diapered cuddles and adorable moments she’d been starved of for so long. And all the same, she’d get to force a confession out of Emily. Emily’s generally embarrassed look froze a little as she heard Joyce chuckle and say, “Ohh Emily...my sweet, sweet, adorable girl. My naughty, misbehaving little girl...” It was all in good fun, but there wouldn’t be fun without scolding. As Emily laid there, the words felt out of place with how things had been moving. But they weren’t, and she knew that. The invisible chains of fate seemed to bridge her left-field comments to something she did this morning… Something she wasn’t supposed to do. “So,” Joyce continued with still a rosy expression, “Would you like to tell me what you did first? Or should I think of my own punishment instead?” There was the pleasant hum as Joyce cooked. Dinner would be ready soon and it will have been their first day trying this new routine. And so far, all things considered, it has gone pretty well. “J-Joyce…?” A sniffling, whimpering Emily moaned. “Yes, hon?” Joyce turned her head with a smile, facing the back of Emily’s head. “I’m...” her voice trembled and was on the verge of tears. “I’m really sorry…!” She sobbed as she started to turn her head. “I know you are,” Joyce tried not to laugh as she left the stove for a moment. “But keep that nose in the corner for ten more minutes,” she said as she gently steered Emily’s face back to the point where the two walls met. “Sorry...” Emily moped, sounding even more disgusted and disappointed in herself. “It’s alright. Once you finish your punishment, all is forgiven.” Joyce said a bit more compassionately as she straightened the waistband of Emily’s diaper, then walked back to the other end of the kitchen. Funnily enough, once Joyce “confronted” Emily in the nursery, not more than a few seconds passed until Emily was an absolute mess. She couldn’t have spilled the truth any faster if she tried. Joyce mentioning a punishment was sort of a joke, but...obviously what Emily had done meant a lot to herself. Joyce was a little disappointed about what happened at first, though it felt unnecessary once she could see how much Emily was beating herself up over it already. Then comes the more unusual part of the aftermath; the timeout. Emily was like a puppy that needed something to chew on. Or as another metaphor, she needed to “atone for her sins”, which wasn’t a lot, but maybe she’d feel better after? In other words, Emily essentially asked for a timeout… And as a passing thought which did make Joyce smile to herself was the likeness to an actual toddler. Then again, with the way Emily seemed to reflect so heavily, maybe even she’d give an actual kid a run for their money. From Emily’s perspective, it was thirty minutes in a scorching hell. String her up, torture her by any means, pull out her teeth, pull out her tongue; anything! She couldn’t believe what she had done. She had promised Joyce, she told herself that she was going to commit to this. And yet, she failed on day one? Not only that, which was offensive on its own, but also her attempts to lie about it and hide the truth from Joyce. She was absolute scum. She deserved this. Only the lowest of the low deserved a punishment like this… And again, back to Joyce’s perspective, all she could see was her girlfriend slouched over in the corner, looking like she had a teary scowl on her face. Under the guise of boiling water, Joyce sighed with a smile as she muttered, “My little crybaby...” “Okay, Emily?” Joyce spoke up approximately ten minutes later. “It’s been thirty minutes, you can come out from the corner now.” “Mhm...” Emily somberly nodded, slow in her motions to leave her grim prison. “Don’t just ‘mhm’ me,” Joyce finally laughed as she hoisted Emily up onto her feet. “The punishment is over, so don’t act like it’s still going on?” “It should be though!” Emily said. “I...what I did was bad, Joyce. I lied to you and I did what I was told not to do...” “Yes, you did,” Joyce acknowledged, “but that’s why you’ll prove that you learned your lesson tomorrow? It’ll be the same situation, so just remember today when you start tomorrow.” While the words meant well, Emily didn’t look very much inspired. Rather, the words were simply overpowered by Emily’s immense, and unnecessary guilt. Finally Joyce was losing her patience with a roll of her eyes. “Do I need to pull down your diaper next and spank you to high heaven? Is that what you want?” The bold suggestion caught Emily off guard. “N-no...” “I don’t exactly want to do that either,” Joyce agreed, “so can we please forget about this now? I was a little upset at first Emily, but I’ve moved on, don’t you think you should too? You’re making me feel like I kicked a puppy.” She snickered, then gave her a toothy smile.” “O...okay.” Emily nodded, finally feeling ready to put this to bed. Yet let it be known that she planned to carry this serious offense with her moving forward. A warrior steeled by their scars of the past. “Good.” Joyce nodded with approval, lurching Emily forward with a firm slap on her padded rear. “Now sit that bottom down at the table. We’re eating and I want to hear all about the stuff you did today, then I’m going to tell you about mine,” She sounded almost like a drill sergeant despite the pleasant suggestion. “Understood?” “Yes...” A smile finally started to come back to Emily’s face. “That’s what I like to hear. Let me get some plates out.” She said as she reached for the higher cabinets. For Emily’s sake, I probably should give her less opportunities for failure… In retrospect, she probably should have seen this coming, but Emily was quite the self-destructive ball of emotions, come to find out. Maybe Sheila might know something about computer software...