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Chapter 109: Throw “YEAH? I NEEDED to get back here in time?” I said, feeling exposed and embarrassed in front of my former nest mother right then. “Well, you’re here, and I’m in luck that I get to change a much prettier Little than I usually do!” She picked me up before I could warn her about me probably leaking but quickly carried me to a small changing room on the first floor I didn’t know existed. She used one hand to unfold a disposable changing pad. She placed it on the metal changing table and laid me on it. “You soaked through your onesie and skirt,” she said as she flipped it up. “Here, sit up for a second,” she told me. I rolled upward, and a second later, she pulled the jumper over my head and then the onesie to leave me only in the sagging and soaked diaper. “Umm… what am I going to wear?” I asked her nervously. “Don’t worry, we keep a few spare things in here for this type of emergency,” she assured me. “Let’s get you out of that soggy diapee first, though!” I really felt that Lilly did a better job of changing my diapers. However, Mackenzie was still better than several changers I’d had. She was gentle, wiped me thoroughly, and dressed me in a spare diaper from my backpack. “You don’t have a spare outfit in there, do you?” I blushed, “I used it this week already?” “That’s fine, we’ll just use a spare shirt here,” she told me. I watched her dig through a bin for a moment before coming out with what looked like a simple pink sweater at first. Once she pulled it over my head, I realized the arms had several rows of ruffles by the wrist. Even with the top being too large, it barely covered much more than the top of my diaper! “Sorry, no leggings or pants; we’ll just have to get you up to your nest. You’re wearing a diaper anyway,” Mackenzie told me as if that excused my nude legs! “Let’s just get up there quickly?” I asked. She smiled, picked me up, bounced me up and down, and then carried me out of the room. The temperature in the lobby area felt like it dropped thirty degrees from an open door to the outside. Several other Littles were coming from a common area on the first floor then and seemed to all stare for a second before looking away. I blushed and felt like my face was probably as hot as the sun! Fortunately, the elevator trip, plus her long legs, had me to my new nest pretty quickly. “Hi Mackenzie! Did you catch a stray of mine?” “This fish wasn’t in the water, but I thought I’d bring her to you?” “Thanks! Looks like she had a wardrobe issue - what did you do with her wet clothes?” “Here,” she said, handing her a clear bag. “I almost just put them in the laundry chute, but since you kidnapped her from me, I figured we’d make sure they knew the clothes belonged to your nest.” Mackenzie hugged me, “It’s good to see you, Carly! I’ll make sure I get down here to see you some other time. Be good for Miss Lilly!” She placed me on the ground, patted my exposed diaper, and walked out. Lilly giggled at me, and I noticed Ava and Mia looked like they couldn’t decide whether to laugh at me or feel bad. For my part, I just walked to my stuff and found a pair of black leggings. It wasn’t worth changing the top in my mind when I’d be putting on pajamas in a little bit. I had to admit with leggings on to cover my bottom half, I was pretty comfortable since the borrowed top was really soft! I found myself working on homework and trying to get ready for one of my first tests that was coming up on HoloTheory the next day. I had a good, solid grasp of all of the material so far, but I wanted to review all of the new terms and jargon that were used in the class. By the time I’d also done some brief studying for my intelligence class and math, it was nearly three hours after I’d returned. I stood up to walk to find Lilly for a needed diaper change before calling it a night! BETH WAS BLUSHING as she entered the dorm. She quickly sucked her coat off so she didn’t have to worry about anyone wondering about it. She folded the wet spot inside after taking a quick sniff and noting there was a residue of Carly on it. She groaned, and Nikki gave her a little smirk as she traveled up the stairs to the dorm. “Why don’t I take your coat? I’ll wash it at my apartment tonight?” “I can just put it in the laundry here?” Beth started to say. “You know the laundry is analyzed, right?” “Huh?” Nikki shook her head, “You’re so smart on some things, kid…?” “What do you mean?” “Someone about fifteen years ago figured out when they installed the auto laundry features for the dorm that they could also be clever and make sure no one was hiding bedwetting from them?” “You mean…?” “Yes, if you have any clothing in the wash that has a too-high urine concentration, you’ll be closely watched.” With a sigh, Beth handed her the coat, “Thanks for washing it then…” “Do you have another in case it doesn’t dry tonight?” Beth nodded, “It’s supposed to be a bit warmer tomorrow anyway, so I would probably have switched to a different one anyway.” “Good,” she told her. “This date tomorrow?” Beth blushed and smiled at the same time, “Yes?” “Would you mind if I triple-checked Carly’s plans? I don’t want to overstep, but I also want to make sure it’s a safe trip for you.” She did indeed feel a bit smothered by that but nodded anyway. “Sure, it seems like she did a decent amount of work trying to plan it already?” “I’m sure she did, knowing her family. No need to risk her missing something, though!” “Fair enough,” she said. “You’re not going anywhere else for the night?” Beth shook her head, “I have a test tomorrow in calculus I need to finish studying for.” “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then,” she told her. “See you tomorrow,” Beth said, closing the door behind her and latching the deadbolt shut. She sighed, squeezing herself in a little hug, then changed into a comfy pair of pajama pants and a light purple top with a circuit diagram on it. Lance had given it to her for Christmas, and she appreciated its nerdiness. Dressed more comfortably, she pulled out her tablet and the review guide that her professor had kindly provided their class for the test the next day. She was about to the point of screaming about one problem when her phone suddenly rang. She stood, found it, and when she saw it was her mom, she answered with the holoprojection function, placing it on the desk in front of it. “Hi, Mom,” she said. “How are you doing, Sweetie?” She shrugged, “Ready to throw my tablet of calc work into the wall?” “That sounds normal,” her mom laughed. “The only person I know who didn’t absolutely hate that class was your dad.” Beth shook her head, “Carly is just as bad!” “How is she taking everything?” “Huh?” “The fact she’s stuck as a girl?” Her mom said. “Oh, that…” “That? It was supposed to be a temporary thing for the film? Surely she’s a bit upset, at least, at being stuck as a girl? Your dad would have been devastated?” Beth nodded, “Carly is fine with it, Mom. Actually, she’s better than fine with it, I think.” Her mom gave her the stare that always felt like she was opening her brain up and stripping out the knowledge from it, “She wanted to be a girl?” Beth sighed, “Yeah, I think so?” “Well, what about your relationship now?” Beth shrugged, “Seems fine still?” “You’re okay with going out with a girl?” Her mom asked. “You never seemed like you had a thing for girls before?” Beth shook her head, “I don’t have a thing for girls in general; it’s just Carly?” Her mom cajoled her into more information as their conversation went on about things she would never discuss with her dad. Eventually, she made her excuses and said, “I need to finish studying; give everyone my love?” As the line cut, Beth felt more drained and relieved to have spoken with her mother. Looking at the clock, she decided to hit the restroom and resume her studying. When she was past the point of getting anywhere, she went to the restroom again to clean her face and brush her teeth before climbing into bed and being tucked in by Rachel, who seemed to suddenly appear at bedtime each night. “Good night,” Rachel told her as she turned off the lights. I WOKE UP the following day with a swim with Lilly and Mackenzie before finding my way to breakfast and classes. Computational Intelligence was interesting that morning. I made some notes on some ideas I wasn’t sure Mom knew about yet! Our professor was currently involved in some research that furthered Grandma’s work in the field, and she was making some impressive gains in how the AI chunked new knowledge. Her thinking patterns seemed to be heavily influenced by her own kids’ development, which I found kind of intriguing! I walked to my Holofield Theory class and crammed a few last minutes of studying before the room was packed. Our professor passed out the same style of tablet we’d taken our placement tests on that first week. I appreciated that I was given a smaller one than my neighbors, though! “You have the full class time for this exam. We can work with you if you need additional time, but in my experience, you either know this material or you don’t,” Professor Davis told us. I nodded. To me, this was more of a memory subject than a ‘work it out’ subject like math or programming. “Just one other note, due to some issues I’ve had before, I would ask that you please not leave the room until after you complete the exam. You’re welcome to go before I activate the test and come back if you need to use the restroom, but I’ll collect your tests otherwise if you need to leave.” I squirmed at that, wishing that going to the bathroom was even a realistic possibility for me! “Well, at least I can just go…” I thought to myself even as several girls excused themselves from class, and one boy then. My diaper was a little damp, but I was pretty sure it would hold up until lunch based on how little I’d drank that morning. “Okay, I’m going to activate your tests now; they’ll start when they return. Good luck!” Immediately, my screen lit up, and I began working on answering questions about a subject that would have sounded like gibberish to me a few weeks ago! BETH HAD SPENT the morning when she woke up doing some last-minute cramming. She’d even made Carly quiz her on a couple of formulas before leaving her at her first class and heading to her own. During her Logic class, she discovered there would be a project due in that class in another week as one of her five grades. Fortunately, it seemed straightforward and not too time-consuming! Her professor annoyingly went over time by a few minutes. Since she was sitting inside a row, there wasn’t a good and tactful way to leave until he finished! She was a little worried that Carly wasn’t waiting for her or at her classroom until she checked her message and realized she’d hurried to her next class to cram for her own test. “Everything okay?” Nikki asked her. “Yeah, just was a little nervous for a second that Carly wasn’t here. She has a test in her next class, though, so she hurried there to do some last studying.” “I don’t miss being in school,” Nikki told her as she walked beside her. Beth laughed, “Aren’t you basically back in school now since you’re with me all the time?” She looked up at Nikki, who made a cringing face like she’d smelled something bad. “Well, at least I’m not taking the tests?” “Don’t remind me!” Beth said. She had to appreciate that the chill of winter had taken a break that day. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been the past couple of weeks. “I wonder if this warm weather is going to last long?” Nikki asked as if reading her thoughts. Beth shrugged, “Not sure, I was thinking that though? It’s been frigid the past couple of weeks!” They didn’t have much more time to talk before Beth led them into Marconi Hall and down the hallway to the small lecture hall where her class was held. She took a quick moment to detour into the restroom first and thought, ‘I hope Carly’s diaper lasts through this class?’ Once she sat in her class, she took a moment to pull out her notes again for her calculus exam. When her professor began class, she couldn’t help but note that it would be a long day before they wrapped up! “Okay, don’t forget that we have a test next Friday in this class…” he droned on as Beth made a note in her calendar about yet another test in the next couple of weeks! ‘Classes don’t seem so bad at the beginning, but then they just start piling up tests and projects!’ she griped. Her calendar was filling up, and it was still several weeks until midterms! She checked her messages as she left class and was a little concerned that she didn’t see one from Carly. I WAS MAKING quick work of the exam as it went through everything from the absolute basics we’d started with. The first question asked us to describe the particles involved in the projection of just the images. A follow-up question began to ask how you would manipulate the particles, and things continued on in that manner for thirty questions. About question thirty-one, I checked and saw there were a total of sixty, so I was halfway done! I was completing question forty-eight a half-hour later about the proper way to orient the projector lenses when I felt my stomach rumble. ‘Hush, I’ll feed you after this,’ I said, figuring it was just hunger since lunchtime was coming. Question fifty-three was a more theoretical-based question and asked about the proper formula for calculating the intersection of the particles of light with the stasis field you needed to generate. Fortunately, I remembered the formula, so I was writing it with the stylus even as I felt my body give off a little bit of gas in a fart. “Gross!” I heard someone complain a row away. I blushed but continued to work. ‘I hate that I don’t have any control over anything now!’ I thought to myself. The only warning I had before something happened now was when my body would decide to crouch, seemingly on its own. ‘Hopefully, it holds off until after this test!’ I grimaced a moment after finishing the fifty-fourth question as my insides seemed to twist some, but then there was a sense of relief in my body. I finished fifty-six before I heard, “Did someone just poop themselves?” From a girl a couple rows back. “Ladies and gentlemen, you must remain quiet through this exam. I will not warn you again.” “Professor, how can we concentrate when there’s a poopy-pants here?” The girl pushed back. “Breathe through your mouth,” he suggested and glared at her. I pointed my eyes back at my paper, but not before noticing he looked straight at me with a sympathetic glance. “Can I at least change her diaper?” The girl asked. “I’m sure it’s not comfy for her, and it’ll at least move the smell away from us?” “I told you, no one can leave the room?” He said, and I sensed he was trying to make excuses. “She’s just a Little, I’ll change her behind your desk?” “I don’t…” I felt a nervous feeling in my stomach, but I also knew it was kind of rude to force people to smell my poopy diaper for the rest of the test. “Fine,” I said, “I have a spare diaper in my bag. Are you sure you want to?” I looked up at a tall brown-haired girl who smiled, “Sure!” The girl clambered down the steps and had me in her arms almost before I was ready. “By the way, I’m Harper,” she told me. “Carly,” I said quietly. She nearly pushed Professor Davis to move out of the way, and I was at least grateful the room had been set up like a regular lecture hall that day. That meant a large desk in the front of the room blocked the view of anyone seated in the rows. “Do you have a changing pad?” She asked me quietly as she sat me down. I blushed, but I dug through my bag and handed her the changing pad, a diaper, and some wipes. “Well, at least you’re a prepared little girl!” She patted my back, “Let’s get you out of that icky poopy diapee!” “Please keep quiet,” Professor Davis asked. “I’m just changing her diaper?” “Quietly,” he insisted. She shook her head and unfolded my changing pad, then laid me down on it before pushing the skirt up and out of the way. With a few pops, the onesie was opened up, and then she tickled my stomach for no reason. I fought back a few giggles, “Please don’t?” “Fine…” she said. “Don’t get your panties in a twist… oh, you won’t wear those,” she smirked. I couldn’t tell if she was being cruel or just trying to be funny… “Don’t quit your day job,” I groaned. A moment later, she pulled the tapes open and used the used diaper to scrape some of the muck off my butt. “Eew,” she complained a moment later, and I watched her use a baby wipe to wipe her hand up before resuming the cleanup on my bottom. She used quite a few wipes to gently but quickly clean me up. Satisfied, she rolled them up in the old diaper and taped me in the new diaper, buttoned my onesie, then sat me up and handed me the diaper. “Go throw your diapee away in the trash can and get back to your test, sweetie!” I wanted to gag as she handed me the balled-up diaper! I could see brown stains on it, and I did my best not to throw up as I walked it to a trash can by the door. I found my pack of baby wipes in my bag and wiped my hands with one before returning to resume my test. Thirty minutes later, I was grateful to have pressed submit and escaped the room from my classmates! I felt a little guilty as I passed by the trashcan and could clearly still smell the contents! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!!! Please press the 'Like' Button and leave me a comment! The real world is hitting hard right now, and I'm hitting a lot of hours at work beyond normal right now. I'm hoping to get to some more writing on this this weekend so I can get back ahead. I'm being beaten up by my stress enough that we'll see what happens. The good thing is at one post a week I do have 16 more weeks written already, but I would prefer to return to two a week. We'll see what happens, though... Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Chapter 22: The Night Before I returned downstairs to find that Hannah had resumed watching the movie without me. Like before, she was sitting on the floor. Emma remained absorbed in her smartphone on the couch. "You were in the bathroom for a really long time," Hannah said as I took a seat behind her on the couch. Emma groaned at her cousin's lack of social etiquette, though she still didn't look up from her phone. I didn't respond at all to Hannah's comment. Anything she might think I had been doing in the bathroom was better than what I had actually been doing. I hoped that I had managed to put everything back into the suitcase exactly like I had found it, and that the pull-up I had tried out wouldn't show any signs of having been worn. I wasn't able to pay attention to the TV. It didn't matter that this was my favorite of the Harry Potter movies. I simply couldn't sit still and focus on it. The diapers I'd discovered in Hannah's suitcase both worried and intrigued me. Why was it that she would need to wear those to bed rather than the pull-ups? There was only one explanation that made sense. The pull-ups must not work well enough for her at night. There was no question from when I was holding the diaper that it had significantly more absorbent padding, but it seemed to follow that it would be more effective at absorbing urine. But I struggled to understand why that was the case. The pull-ups seemed to work perfectly fine for Hannah during the day. Or did they? When Emma had mentioned that her cousin had peed all over the couch the other day, I had simply assumed that she must have not had a pull-up on at the time. But what if that wasn't the case? What if she had been wearing the pull-up, and it hadn't been able to completely absorb the accident? Maybe those pull-ups didn't work one hundred percent of that time? What would that mean for my own fake bedwetting once my parents got the pull-ups for me? I, of course, would be wetting them, but what would happen if they leaked all over the bed? I couldn't see my parents wanting to continue getting pull-ups for me if that were to happen. They wouldn't see them as having any value if there were still wet sheets to deal with, anyway. Would I end up needing to wear diapers as well if I were to continue faking the bedwetting? And did I want to wear diapers rather than pull-ups? That was a question I didn't know the answer to at the moment. I hadn't ever remotely considered the possibility of wearing a diaper rather than a pull-up outside of the makeshift diaper I had attempted to make for myself once a couple of years back to disastrous results. Would a diaper feel as good as wearing a pull-up? Would it feel better than wearing a pull-up? That wasn't a question I could answer without having tried one on, but there hadn't been an opportunity to do so. From the windows looking out over the backyard, I could see that the rain hadn't let up a single bit. I checked my phone. The forecast said the downpour wasn't supposed to stop until sometime overnight. The movie finally came to an end. Hannah wanted to move on to the next one immediately, but not before taking another toilet break, as her watch had just gone off a couple of minutes earlier. "I need to put my foot down," Emma said, though she remained seated on the couch with her legs curled up to the side. "I'm not watching another one of these movies this weekend." Hannah was gone a lot longer than before. It was hard to tell since it was raining, but I thought I could hear the sound of someone going upstairs and walking around. When she finally returned, she didn't take kindly to Emma's decision to move on to any activity other than watching the next Harry Potter movie. Hannah stomped her feet and ran off when Emma refused to hand over the TV remote to her. Hannah returned a few minutes later with her mom, who tried to helpfully suggest that perhaps we could make some TikTok videos with Hannah instead. That seemed to test Emma's limit on wanting to do anything but watch another Harry Potter movie, but she agreed. There was still another hour or so before Mom was going to come and pick me up. We managed to get a couple of someone choreographic dance videos made that Emma promised Hannah that she would post to her account, though when Hannah went off to use the toilet again, Emma whispered to me that she was going to delete it all once Hannah was gone, saying that she didn't want to ruin the vibe on her account. The doorbell rang a few minutes later. It had to be Mom coming to pick me up. Hannah stayed behind in the living room as Emma and I went to the front door. Mom was chatting casually with Emma and Hannah's parents in the entryway when we arrived. "Are you excited about summer break?" Mom asked Emma. "I will be when Angie is back from her road trip," Emma said. "I'm looking forward to the sleepover on Maddy's birthday." Mom nodded in response to Emma's statement and shifted her gaze over to me. And just like that, I was caught. Mom wasn't supposed to have known that I'd already invited Angie and Emma to have a sleepover on my birthday next weekend. "Where's Hannah?" Emma's aunt asked. "I don't know," Emma said. "Maybe in the other room." "Can you go grab her? I'm sure she'd want to say goodbye since we're leaving early tomorrow morning." Emma trudged back off toward the living room. I caught her rolling her eyes once she was at an angle where her parents couldn't see it. A little while later, there was a loud patter of feet running along the wood floor, and Hannah sprinted around the corner. I couldn't help but once again find my eyes drifting down to her waist. As she came to a stop, her shirt lifted up briefly, giving one final half-second glimpse of the pull-up beneath her shorts. "Bye!" Hannah said with a wave at me. And just like that, she was done, having turned back around to sprint off toward the living room. We continued to make small talk about plans for the summer for a few minutes, and then it was time to head home. I closed the door behind me after getting into the passenger seat, bracing myself for an awkward conversation. Mom turned on the ignition without saying a word and watched the rear-view camera as she carefully backed out of the driveway. Once we were out on the road, the questions began. "Why does Emma think there's going to be a sleepover on your birthday?" she asked. She had me there. It was stupid bad luck that Emma had thought to say anything about that to Mom. Mom had shot down the idea of an all-nighter, and she had made it clear that she wasn't going to OK the idea of a sleepover unless the anti-bedwetting pills had worked. I really didn't want to answer Mom's question, even though it wasn't as though she likely knew the answer already. "I told Angie and Emma that a sleepover was the plan for my birthday." "Madelyn, you know that I had said that wasn't an option unless we managed to figure out what was happening with the bedwetting." I nearly did it. Even though I had planned to bring up the topic of pull-ups tomorrow, I nearly went forward with the speech I had rehearsed about how it might be good to try them. But I instead fell back on a more vague excuse. "I just figured that maybe the doctor would have something that would stop the bedwetting so I could still have the sleepover. I didn't want to tell them that I couldn't do it." "That doesn't leave a lot of time," Mom said as we turned onto the road that led back to our house. "I want to make sure any solution actually works before letting you do a sleepover. Maybe it would be best if we just postponed it. Your friends can stay until it is time to go to bed. It's not as though you'd really miss anything while being asleep." That was the last thing I wanted, especially after having already told my friends that a sleepover was going to happen. "Please don't tell them that it is canceled yet. I don't want them to think anything is wrong." Mom was silent for a bit as she pulled into the driveway and waited for the garage door to open. "That's fine for now," Mom said at last. "But if we don't find a way to deal with the bedwetting before then, it isn't going to work to have the sleepover." <><><> Another night. Another set of pills to take before bed. At least this was going to be the last time. Despite my pleas to get out of taking the pills tonight, Mom insisted that I should give it one more try before going to the doctor's appointment in the morning. "I don't want you staying up too late tonight," Mom said. "The appointment is first thing in the morning, so you need to make sure you set your alarm for eight." Great. Pills. No more water for tonight. No chance of peeing the bed this evening. And I had to get up early in the morning. I held out my hand, and she dropped the two pills onto my open palm. I grabbed a glass with a small amount of water in it from her as well. Mom watched as I popped both of the pills into my mouth. I resigned myself to the possibility of dealing with an actual headache tomorrow morning as I began to raise the glass of water to my lips. Some loud yelling in the distance – which sounded like my younger brother, Jackson – suddenly grabbed Mom's attention, as she turned around to look in the other direction. Mom's back was turned as she headed down the hallway in the direction of the tantrum that Jackson seemed to be throwing. That wasn't common behavior for him, but when it happened, it usually took both of my parents to rein my six-year-old brother in. This was my chance. I pulled the two tiny pills out of my mouth and placed them in my pocket before quickly chugging down the small glass of water. With my plans for the evening suddenly looking much more positive, I didn't throw a fuss at going to bed earlier than I normally would have on an evening during summer break. I made sure to use the toilet while my parents were helping my brother get ready for bed, making sure they would know that any bedwetting would be happening in spite of all the precautions that were being taken. I flushed the two pills down the toilet, watching carefully to make sure that they didn't resurface. The best part about having avoided taking the pills tonight was that I wasn't going to have to avoid drinking anything afterward. My mouth had been so parched the past several nights when I had gone to bed without sneaking a drink from the sports bottle I had tucked away in my bedroom. Alone in my bedroom, I raised the bottle to my lips. I couldn't believe that I was somehow actually excited about the idea of drinking lukewarm tap water. The likelihood of being able to wet myself in bed tonight allowed me to manage to set aside my disgust at the bitter taste of the water. The problem of going to bed this early was that I still had plenty of time to kill before midnight. I tapped open the web browser on my phone, trying to recall the name of the website Hannah had mentioned reading those Harry Potter fanfiction stories on. I couldn't recall the exact name, but a quick Google search of the acronym she had mentioned brought up a link to the website. I tapped on the link, and then I groaned as a new pop-up appeared on my phone, one that was unwelcome but familiar, a message that the website was blocked due to the parental restrictions on my phone. Well, that was just great. Defeated, I set my phone down on the bed. It wouldn't be the first time that an otherwise appropriate website had been mistakenly blocked by the software. If it was something Hannah had access to, I couldn't imagine that it was actually anything that bad or inappropriate. I would need to ask Dad about the website tomorrow, and he would be able to update the permissions on the parental controls like he had done for me before, though perhaps I should consider coming up with a reason for wanting to access the website other than wanting to read Harry Potter stories. A sense of melancholy struck me as midnight approached. This might be the last time of wetting myself like this. Going forward, I would be wearing a pull-up to bed every night for the foreseeable future. I had first wet the bed nine nights ago. And tomorrow I would be going to see a doctor. I was amazed at how quickly everything had progressed. I'd tried to put off thinking about what the doctor's appointment might mean for me in the morning. What tests would they end up running? What theories would they have for why the bedwetting might be happening? Was there anything I had done that might cause them to suspect that I was actually wetting the bed on purpose? One thing was clear. Regardless of what happened at that appointment, I was going to need to find a way to broach the topic of pull-ups with Mom tomorrow. With any luck, tomorrow night, I'd be going to bed while wearing a pull-up identical to the one of Hannah's that I had tried out earlier today. Having managed to avoid taking the anti-bedwetting pills, I didn't have to struggle at all to manage to wet the bed, and I took in the sensation of the warmth spreading beneath my waist. Even though everything had gone right so far, even though I was still completely on track for my plan to succeed, another thought began to fill me with a new worry as I lay on top of my thoroughly soaked bedding. What if the pull-ups didn't work for me? --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Hey everyone! Congrats to everyone for making it to about the halfway point in this story. I feel this chapter is very appropriate to mark that point in this story, but things are about to get a lot more interesting. Also, I just want to note that I could have dedicated a lot of time to this next chapter. Originally, it was going to be three separate chapters, but then I realized that it might get a little tiresome plot wise. In that same vein, I know I could have drastically simplified Emma’s thoughts or language, but that makes for a pretty boring or near incomprehensible chapter, so I elected not to in this case. I think the end result works and makes for a much more interesting read. Also, minor spoiler here, but Dash does show up in this chapter as an actual character. Nancy doesn’t know his name, so he’s not named, but I just want to put it out there. Namely, I want to note it first because considering the number of views this story has already garnered, I’m assuming some of you may not have read my previous story. As such, basically just remember that toys come alive when not being watched. I won’t commit to if its magic or whatever, but keep in mind that toys only reveal themselves to Littles in dire circumstances or when they believe they won’t be noticed. It’s not a big part of this story, focusing on Emma and all, but just in case anyone gets confused, that’s the reason for some elements occurring in this chapter. Next, as a reminder, I’m now polling between two stories to figure out what I should write next. The two choices are listed out in chapter 2, so be sure to check them out and let me know. As I will announce my winner in my last chapter, that would be the deadline for you to make your opinion known. As usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 8: Nothingness, a Doggy, and a Bond The trappings of my life soon became just that. I was a prisoner in my own mind. I didn’t want much anymore and everything around me became fuzzy… unclear as to what was going on. At first, I mourned the loss, but soon, I took comfort in the peace and safety my new life afforded me. I knew it was a dangerous path to head down but considering all that had happened and that I now felt practically all alone in this world, it just felt like a good alternative to what could have occurred to me. See, when Littles sometimes ‘break,’ as I did, we tended to go down one of two routes. Most just regressed their own minds and became mentally like babies from then on out. Recovery was possible but challenging and usually a failure. For me, however, I had gone the other way and I had become locked within my own mind. The major problem of this route for Littles was that their already fragile mind often would regress from sheer disuse or the inability to fight off anyone as they approached with something to further harm or regress them. Unfortunately, I was already starting to feel these atrophied effects take hold of me. While I knew that Nurse Bee’s special shot and whatever happened afterward with the pain in my head could be blamed for some of the problems I was now experiencing, I also knew that the more time trapped in my own mind was now severely degrading it. It wasn’t long before my needs became simple. My emotions were always in flux but my communication with them became very limited as well. A gurgle meant I was happy. Crying meant I was uncomfortable. And anything else that occurred outside my mind was just a physical manifestation of my own body. Even my memory seemed to fade with time. Concepts I had known for years all began to vanish. At first, I was so scared. Imagine forgetting your parents’ faces or the home you grew up in. Time seemed to just not matter anymore though, and it didn’t take long for me to not even mind that something was lost anymore. After all, if I couldn’t remember it, I couldn’t mourn it. Holes were left in my memory, but as the holes started to become the majority of what I could remember, one hole was just as sad, or meaningless, as the next. At some point, I just stopped caring. Between that and my near-constant need for sleep and other basic needs, my life soon merged into a routine. By the end of the second day, I had nearly lost all track of time and the only things I could recognize were those things that continued to be mentioned. Daycare, Nancy, Emma, diaper, messy… things like that, but most of those words had little meaning for me anymore. And each time I closed my eyes to sleep once again, I found I was missing more. I knew it wasn’t long before my current life was all I knew. I would live in the moment, not caring about what was next or what had just happened. Every time I had that thought though, my eyes soon closed once more as I fell asleep in my crib. * * * Nancy looked down at me and I cooed over seeing her face again. I wasn’t sure who ‘Nancy’ was exactly, but she was a pretty lady who kept me fed, warm, and clean. To me, that’s what mattered. “Who’s my Little snookums, huh? Is someone ready to go to daycare?” she asked, clearly not expecting a sophisticated answer back. As usual, I cooed back in response. “I’ll take that as a yes!” Her smile was infectious, and she played with my feet for a moment, before picking me up and taking me to the car. I didn’t like the car or my car seat, so I began to fuss. “Oh, honey. I know you don’t like this thing, but I need to get you to daycare and…” Her phone began to ring, and I started to fuss more as she turned her head away from me. “Oh, shoot! That’s work. I’ve got to take this, sweetie. I’m sorry.” She then popped her phone out. “Hello? Yes, Greg. I’ll be there in a little bit… No, I know that you all wanted me there early, but I just can’t with Emma…” Nancy seemed all upset and I got a little upset as well. I had no idea who Greg was, but I just wanted her attention back on me. She tried to play with my feet from a distance, but it just wasn’t the same. Nancy noticed. “Look Greg, I have to go… I didn’t regress her. You think I wanted this? She’s wonderful and all, but…” She looked back at me with a sad face and then quieted her voice. I could still hear her though. “It’s not my fault. The daycare screwed her up and taking care of a near newborn is hard enough. She had a blowout this morning and… yes… yes… I understand. I will be there as soon as I can…” Sighing, Nancy then hung up and turned her attention back to me. “Sorry, baby. I needed to take that but come on. I’ve got to take you to daycare pronto.” Seeing her attention pop back to me, I only cooed again. She smiled and I tried to as well, but I just heard a little farting noise instead. ‘Weird…’ Nancy tickled me a little bit and then left. Just as I was about to cry out though, she popped back in front of me, so everything was good. She even made this big noise with what we were in, and I cooed over the rattling I now felt in my body. Smiling back at me, Nancy turned on some of what she called ‘music.’ I wasn’t really sure what it was, but I just knew I liked it. So, I cooed back at her again. What felt like a thousand years later, Nancy stopped, disappeared for a moment, but then reappeared and picked me up. I cooed at her touch, but before I could really feel her closeness, I was given to someone else. I began to distress a little. “Sorry, Diana for the late drop-off,” Nancy apologized. “She had a blowout and I hate to drop and run, but I’ve really gotta go now.” The woman, Diana I guess, nodded and raised up my hand a little. “That’s okay, Nancy. We’ve got her now. You run off back to your job.” Nancy then waved at us and took off. Diana waved my already raised hand back to her and it felt kind of funny. I felt I had a new ability as my hand flopped about. It was so cool, but Diana stopped and just sighed. “Well, I guess I best get you settled Emma. No need to wait around out here…” I started to distress a bit, but Diana soon started bouncing me a little in her arms. It was actually kind of fun and I cooed a little bit during the process. Before we had even moved much further though, this one tiny person came up to us. “Miss Dee-Dee! Miss Dee-Dee!” she called out. ‘Who’s Miss Dee-Dee?’ Diana looked down at her though. “Yes, Lilly. Is there something I can help you with?” Lilly, I guess, nodded her head and clutched the doll in her hands more tightly. “When’s Emma gonna come back an’ play with us? Is she any better?” Diana started responded back, though I still wasn’t sure what was happening on whether she was really Diana, Miss Dee-Dee, or was just a special person and had two names. ‘Do I have two names?’ Diana shook her head to Lilly’s question. “I’m sorry, Lilly, but Emma here is on a different level than you are now. She might come back, but you need to be prepared that she might not.” Lilly seemed to listen but then quickly looked distressed and tried pulling my foot from her position below me. “Emma! Emma! Please talk to me! Please! You gotta wake up!” Diana moved me away and pulled Lilly away from me before waving over to a new woman. “Easy, Lilly. You need to stop that. There’s nothing any of us can do now, so you just need to accept this. Until then, Miss Mindy here is going to take care of you, okay?” By now though, Lilly was crying, and I started to get a little distressed myself. “Oh dear,” Diana said as she started to bounce me around again. “Guess someone needs their morning nap and a feed.” My cries stopped and I cooed back. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” Diana then waved to Miss Mindy and Lilly as the two hugged each other. Lilly was still crying, and she seemed so familiar, but the prospect of getting fed quickly snapped my mind off the brief thought. That cycle repeated for a long time after. Maybe a year, or a month… a day… actually, I wasn’t really too sure on the who concept of time anymore, but it felt like a long time. Regardless, nothing changed. I would wake in the morning, Nancy would drop me off and would get more upset every day with me, I would come to daycare and go through that cycle, and then I would be taken home where I would go to sleep again. It was all a routine, but a pleasant one at that. My world had shrunk very nicely and despite Nancy and others seeming distressed around me occasionally, I just kind of accepted my life. It felt safe and easy. But I guess life never stays that way though, and soon, I finally felt like I was cracking up. That patchwork-like stuffed dog that seemed somewhat familiar had wandered into my crib in the Burrows room… and yes, I know how it sounds, but I swear they walked right up to me and even spoke to me. I just assumed it was a dream, but he kept doing it with such vigor that it almost frightened me. Stuffy’s are just not supposed to talk. It’s almost a basic law of nature, ‘I think?’ but after a few more times, I kind of just accepted his presence as he snuggled down next to me after trying to get me to talk for the millionth time. I mean, even if I wanted to or could for that matter, what would I even say to a stuffy come to life? ‘Hi, my name is Emma. You are supposed to be an inanimate object and you’re probably possessed or I’m going crazy… more than what’s normal for what I’ve been through that is. Want to be friends?’ Something like that just didn’t happen, and I kinda just accepted the funny-looking but soft stuffy into my life. On top of that though, I began to realize I almost had a superpower of sorts. I couldn’t fly like the birdies outside or be strong like Nancy was, but I heard everything when most people thought I was just a shell of who I was. I was already seeing the stuffy come to life, but I saw so much more as well. I couldn’t really retain anything, but nonetheless, I still heard everything in the moment at least. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Gillies,” Miss Dee-Dee said while the other large scary woman looked down at me in the crib. I had since managed to remember Miss Dee-Dee’s name and I was so proud of myself. It was small, but I felt like such a big girl for remembering that she was called two names. Two was a big number after all. “She hasn’t changed since Tulia brought her in last week.” “Then I want you to do something different with her. Nancy is threatening to sue us or leave, and because it’s disrupting her work, they’re backing her up as well,” Mrs. Gillies, I guess, said harshly to Miss Dee-Dee. For once, I swear that Miss Dee-Dee seemed scared herself. “But it’s not my fault, Mrs. Gillies…” Miss Dee-Dee tried to defend herself. “It wasn’t my medicine that made her this way. It’s Brit…” “It’s Nurse Bee around here, Diana,” Mrs. Gillies rudely interrupted Miss Dee-Dee. I really wanted to defend my kind carer around here, but I could only just coo and let out a little fart instead. ‘It’s so funny when I do that… Miss Dee-Dee always changes me afterward and blows kisses on my tummy. It tickles!’ I paused, realizing I had lost track of what was being said above me. ‘Shoot! She’s saying something again.’ “…I know it’s really hard to work under these conditions, Diana, but we have rules for the staff here as well for a good reason. You know that, or do I have to remind you again?” “N… no, m… ma’am,” Miss Dee-Dee stuttered out. “I don’t n… need a reminder…” Mrs. Gillies smiled and rubbed Miss Dee-Dee’s shoulder. “That’s very good, Diana. It’s for your own good. Trust me. I’ll talk to Nurse Bee tonight and see if we can’t figure out this little glitch of hers. I think I can calm down Nancy and get to accept everything, but I’d prefer not to have to do that for other caregivers. Six Littles ending up like this is too much and you know I don’t like this type of outcome for our Littles.” Miss Dee-Dee nodded. “Yes ma’am. Of course.” Both looked down on me, smiled, and then walked out of my view. I was more than a little confused of what I had just heard, but I felt there was a big problem with someone called ‘Nurse Bee.’ I don’t think that Mrs. Gillies or Miss Dee-Dee wanted me this way, so maybe I had two other people on my sid… ‘Oh! Another toot! Feels so funny! Everything feels so squishy now! Squishy time! Squishy time!’ I cooed a little in my crib. The stuffy dog would be here any moment and Miss Dee-Dee would come back and remove my squishiness and… ‘Wait… wasn’t I just thinking about something that was said? Done to me?’ I really tried to remember, but another little toot came from all my straining to think. ‘Oh well. I guess if it was really important, I would have remembered it…’ So, all that kept happening. I would see something, panic and think about it, but then forget about it just as quickly. I might remember some of it later, which is the only reason that I could retain anything, but the most I could piece together was that Miss Dee-Dee and Mrs. Gillies wanted to help me out and were sorry and Nurse Bee was bad… I guess. Again, all super fuzzy, but like most things, I just had to live with it. It seemed that would be my life forever, but my new stuffed companion apparently just kept coming to me. Oddly, during one of the visits, I swear I heard a voice in my head and life in my limbs for the first time in forever… a week… a day ago? I really didn’t know, but it was there, or at least it was for a moment. I tried after, but only managed to make out another little fart. Now, I had never had a toy before… at least I think so, so I wasn’t sure why I kept getting this strong urge to hug this stuffy that kept dropping by. He certainly wasn’t new, and his stitching almost scared me, but he stuck by me. No matter what; diaper change, bottle feeding, cries… everything. He would always hide when Miss Dee-Dee or Miss Tully came to check on me and calm me down, but he was always back soon after. It wasn’t much, but he was someone I could cling to and rely on to be there for me in this place. So, when he came back to me one day and laid down for a while after I had arrived at the daycare late again, I didn’t really think anything of it, but was just glad he was here again. Almost instantly though, I heard something again buzzing in my head, but unlike the other times, I could almost make out most of the words. “Wake up… wake up… no one is upset with you… you are a good girl… just wake up…” just started playing over and over in my head. At first, I couldn’t make much of it out, but when I concentrated, by the third time it went through my head, I could hear almost as if someone were directly talking to me. Having just woken up from a nap, I could have sworn it was all just part of a dream, but as my eyes began to flutter open more to their still semi-relaxed awakened state, I heard something new this time. “Emma… wake up, Emma. Wake up for me… show me something… please, Emma… I will protect you… I will make it all okay… just please wake up…” I began to get excited. Hallucination or not, the patched stuffy dog seemed to be trying to reach out to me. There was no one else her, so it just had to be him. Being so far set adrift in a world of nothingness, it was something, so when he walked away from me again, I didn’t like it. So, I tried to muster all the strength I had inside and tried to will myself to do… say anything. Finally, I let out an “Uhhh…” The stuffy stopped and looked back over at me. First, I was elated that he had stopped. Even more though, second, I had made a noise. Having basically just been a passenger in my body for so long… ‘Maybe?’ I still wasn’t sure about things like that, but to me, all this now almost seemed like a miracle. I watched as the stuffy moved closer to me. He almost seemed just as relieved as I was, but as quickly as he turned around to see me again, he began walking away again. Not wanting for any of these miraculous new sensations or ability to go away, I let out another “Uhhh…” Again, the stuffy whipped back around to see me. I wanted him to do anything just so I could test more of myself out. Perhaps it was just a fluke, and I had some bad gas, always possible with a Little, but I just hoped it was something more… something longer lasting. ‘Had I finally found my exit from this locked-in state?’ Curiously though, instead of speaking to me, the stuffy only stared back for a while and then began to gather the blanket around me into a large pile halfway between me and the bars of the crib. In an instant, he went from looking at me to disappearing completely. I began to panic. ‘Where had he gone? He was right there! Is he a magic dog? Do I have some special magic dog just floating around and that’s why he can talk, walk, and I can hear him mentally?’ I wasn’t sure at all, but I definitely knew I wanted him back. So, frustrated, I dug deep and let out another “Uhhh…” To my relief, he popped out from behind the bunched pile he had formed. I still wondered if he was a magical stuffy, but I just cared that he was back again. Suddenly, I felt an odd sensation on my face. It was moving, near on its own and felt like it did when I cooed lately, but I still felt confused as to what it was. Seconds later though, my mind clicked into place and a deep memory popped to the surface and I realized I had no reason to panic. I wasn’t in danger. I was just smiling! Everything felt so joyous, and I just wanted to hug my new magical stuffy so badly. Moreover, I just wanted anything to happen to keep this progress going, and as if he could read my thoughts, his mouth slowly opened. “Emma…” My heart leapt for joy, and I felt myself smile even more. My magical stuffy spoke! I hadn’t just imagined it all, and I wanted to see or to hear more, but I was just so happy that a change felt like it was in the air. And, as if all that wasn’t enough, my magical stuffy walked over to me and nuzzled into my chest. Not being able to do much, but still wanting to acknowledge what he had done, I tilted my body a bit right into him. He didn’t say anything this time, but he seemed happy. That happened for a little while longer, but I could see that he almost looked like he wanted more. As if to confirm my theory, he then leaned over near to my face and looked right into my eyes. “Emma… you’re safe with me. I can be your friend if you want, but just please come out of the darkness. Come back to us, Emma…” As if a key had suddenly been turned, I felt new life within me. Sensations I had forgotten long ago came flooding back to me. My eyes, once so lifeless and still except for the keenest of observers, began to open wider as I looked back at my magical stuffy. “Oh Emma…” he said breathlessly. Everything felt so good… so new and exciting. I wanted to embrace it all and to my surprise, I even began to be able to wiggle about as my body started to awaken once more. It still wasn’t much, and I couldn’t win a race against a snail most likely, but even a little bit of something was still more as compared to when I had nothing. It was an absolutely perfect moment and I had never felt such joy in my life, or at least that’s what I assumed right then. But then something clicked within me. Now, just to be clear, as my faint recollections of my past began to flood in, I started to remember the basic stuff first since I had become like this. I remembered names and faces for the first time since all this began. Who they were was still hazy and I maybe could tell you the difference between the days, but the memories were slowly coming back. And while all that felt wonderful, I realized just how boring my life had become. It was a series of feedings, naps, diaper changes, and being hauled from one location to another. In all my memories, I could only remember being in this daycare, Nancy’s house, and her… ‘Car? Yes… car…’ I had the faintest sense there was more to life than that, but it was just beyond my fingertips. Still though, it was there, and it made me want more. Which is when I realized that I used to have more… and lost it. I wasn’t sure, how, why, or when at that moment, but I just knew I did. Seeing myself lying in this crib and being excited to do more than fart or cry was a serious blow to my happiness. My previous wiggles quickly stopped, and though I was getting my memories back, I was still very much the person I had become. So, with my emotions still in flux and triggered so easily, I broke… again. I deeply worried that this new issue would break me as it had before. I felt all the same sensations surrounding me and the loss that each of them meant. Everything felt so distant, but the images were still there of at least who I used to be on a large scale. I couldn’t remember things like street names or where I was a year ago but faces and things that I had done were becoming much clearer, so my loss now felt even worse. And, when all that began to fade again, I panicked even more. Tears flowed from my eyes, and I would have given anything to stop myself. I wanted an out, but I didn’t see anything. I was in the same room and even the same crib with the same sense of loss. I felt myself plummeting toward the abyss once more, but then I opened my eyes, and through the tears, I saw one difference: my magical stuffy. Hoping and wishing beyond and harder than I ever had before, I willed the last of my being into my arms and shot them straight out to what felt like the most recent constant in my life. I could have missed, and everything would have been over… but I didn’t. My hands clasped around his soft fury body, and I brought him right into my chest as tightly as I could. My tears were horrible, and I surely thought someone was going to help me, but no one ever came. Miss Dee-Dee, Miss Tully, or the volunteers here must have been on break or something, but that still left me. My magical stuffy was wonderful, but I just wasn’t sure if even he was enough. Suddenly though, like before, I heard something float through my head. “Easy, Emma… calm down and relax… listen to my messages… feel them… hear them… relax…” Surprised, but so relieved, I could feel my sobs began to fade out of nowhere. I knew it had to be my magical stuffy, and as such, I felt he was truly magical, so I hugged him even tighter. I felt a little fuzzy and sleepy right then, but at least my cries began to simmer. I had no idea what was happening, but as I gazed down to my magical stuffy, I just felt I had finally found the peace I was looking for. Never wanting to part with him again, I hugged him closer with one arm, but curiously, my other snaked up and my thumb planted itself right in my mouth. Never having the strength to do so before or the desire before all this, it was an odd and yet wonderous feeling. I never wanted it to leave my mouth again, but as my eyes drifted closed, I just felt happy that maybe, just maybe, I could find my way back to who I used to be. * * * Later that night, I was feeling much better, especially after I was able to wiggle my fingers after my nap, but back home, I could see that Nancy was in another one of her moods. I had been distressingly ripped away from my magical stuffy when she picked me up and now, amidst all the chaos, I desperately wanted him back. Further, having remembered some of my past now, I sadly knew that today wasn’t the first time that Nancy had come home upset. Remembering other times, I didn’t know much, but I knew I was a burden to her lately with the lack of my current abilities that she now had to deal with. Still, after my bath, I was snuggled into my jammies for the night and brought downstairs by a now calmer Nancy to my relief. I sat on her lap as we watched Squares and Letters, a show dedicated to younger Littles like me. There wasn’t much of a plot, and I drifted in and out from time to time, but tonight at least informed me, when I correctly guessed what a square was, that I was slowly getting better. Unfortunately, in the middle of the show, Nancy got a call, and I was placed into my bouncer carrier seat nearby to still watch the TV. “Yes, hello sir… no sir, I just got home and…” Her face quickly changed to one of concern and worry. “No sir, I didn’t mean to leave before my meeting was over but Emma and… I understand sir but I really need to… yes sir… yes, I understand that Littlecare is important to the company, but I need to find a way to make things work… yes sir… yes sir, I’ll be in early tomorrow morning… goodnight, sir…” Nancy then hung the phone and seemed like she was about ready to cry. I wanted more than anything to comfort Nancy right then, but as things were, I could remember what had just happened and that Nancy was having work troubles, however, that was about it. Right as I thought she was about to burst into tears though, her head snapped towards me. “You…” I had never seen her so angry before, let alone have it directed right toward me. With my newly rediscovered perception of the world though, I was never more scared in this house than right then. “You… you were punished by the daycare. I read the report, and you did this to yourself!” she spat at me. I could see the tears begin to drip down her face and I knew she was just speaking out of anger and frustration over everything, but I was genuinely shocked over what I was seeing now. “Mrs. Gillies said it was an accident and that you really couldn’t be held responsible for your actions, but ever since you came here, you’ve defied everything!” To emphasize her point, Nancy had even thrown her hands up in the air. “I mean, ever since that first day I met you… it’s just all been about you. You never thought any of us Bigs were right, and now, look at you! Probably can’t even tell if you’re wet or messy right now as compared to before. I bet if I checked, not even that long after I just changed you, you would at least be a little wet!” I wiggled just a tiny amount to see if I was wet, but I really couldn’t tell if I was or not anymore. I suspected that would take a long time to come back… if at all. “And now… I’m stuck with practically a newborn! What got into me to take you in? I must have been out of my mind when I did it. I should just return you to the foster home…” She paused and stomped her foot on the ground. “Damn it! They probably wouldn’t even take you anymore. You’re just a lost cause to pretty much everyone now. Ten years ago, newborns were all the rage, but now? I might as well give you freely to the institution up the street!” It was all a lot to process. I could tell this had been building up for some time, but to hear it all in one fell swoop… I felt like right on the cusp of everything turning back to normal between us, now, was crashing down all around me. For all I knew, in a week I would be locked up with the rest of the deformed or mentally damaged Littles in the nearby state institution. I still couldn’t remember much, but Garden Gate Hospital stood out in my mind as a place to avoid at all costs if any of the rumors there were true. So, tired, emotionally drained from my long and trying day, and now verbally assaulted by and scared of Nancy, my seemingly whole world yet who now seemed set on giving me away, my emotions simply gave way. I tried to hold them back but considering the earlier smile I had managed still felt like a miracle, I was useless to keep from bursting into tears. Unfortunately, Nancy was still upset at me and her whole life now. She tried to ignore me at first. She even walked away and plugged her ears at one point, but I could tell it was no use. I could see hatred and desperation in her eyes. “Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!” she lashed out at me. It was a terrible moment, but even through the blur of my own tears, I could see that Nancy was at her wits end as well and crying herself. For a moment, she even seemed shocked herself over what she had just said out loud to my poor tiny crying form and cupped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. She didn’t mean her words tonight, and I could see it in her eyes. It still didn’t take their sting or the fear they induced away from my heart, but it was something. It was something even more to see though as she leaped out and grabbed me up. “Oh baby! Baby! Please! Shhh, shhh. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry!” she lamented as she began to rub my back and bounce me around. I wasn’t sure I was emotionally ready to forgive her, but my infantile Little instincts were in the drivers seat still and began to lull my cries away. “Shhh, shhh, honey. I’m so, so sorry, Emma. I’m just so stressed. Easy there. Easy. I’ve got you.” My cries continued to quiet down. “There, there. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you. No one’s going to take you away. I was just upset, and I didn’t mean all that.” She then paused and sat on the couch as she transferred into more of a cradling position with me looking back up at her. “I don’t even know if you can understand me. I wish you could speak, but if you can still think, I’m just so sorry.” I probably could have said something, maybe even a ‘na’ for her name by now, but I decided to keep quiet still. I wanted to hear what she had to say first. “I took you in as a friend, but I didn’t think of the future. I should have and that’s on me. You were just an adult in your old life. All our commercials say otherwise, but I could see your intelligence when you read at least… then all that got taken away. Slowly, you turned into this… and I just wasn’t ready.” She paused for a moment and looked away briefly at some of my babyish equipment and toys that now littered her family room. “I should have talked to my friends more about you and what to expect, but I didn’t. I should have talked to my boss more, but I didn’t. That’s on me, and there’s no excuse. Punished or not, you put your trust in me, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I still don’t know if you can understand me, but maybe show me a sign if you can? Please, baby… something… anything…” I debated for a second if I should just let her wallow in her torment longer, as words didn’t always heal other words said before, but I saw the genuine look of apology and regret in her eyes. I saw the longing for forgiveness the most though, so, having a little more control over my body now, I decided to smile back at her. Not even questioning my newly required ability, Nancy lit up. “Oh honey! Thank you! I don’t know if that’s maybe even just gas, but I’ll take what I can get. Come here, baby!” She then held me close and began to rock me back and forth as she hummed a pleasant and familiar tune. I couldn’t place it for the life of me, but I was just happy over our shared tiny moment. Everything remained like that in such peace and quiet… but then my stomach began to growl. I just ate when I came home, but I guessed my stomach needed what it needed. Nancy quickly noticed. “Oh! I think someone’s stomach just growled at me, huh?” She then slightly adjusted me and prodded around with my diapered rear. “Hmmm… not messy, and you’re probably not uncomfortable, but what about being hungry? Do you want some food maybe?” She looked back at me and knowing my own needs and having the ability to communicate a little better, I smiled back at her. She chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” She stood up and walked away from the family room couch, stepping over a few of my leftover items on the floor. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you fed.” I was so happy. We were communicating much better now and Nancy felt like she was finally accepting who I was as a Little now. I wasn’t sure how long the peace would last, and I still had a long way to go myse… ‘Wait… where are we going?’ I watched as Nancy slowly walked me back upstairs instead of the kitchen to fetch me a jar of pureed Littlefood or to warm a bottle up. As we entered my nursery, I at least knew where we were going, but I still wasn’t sure why. Like the rest of my life, as we entered, my eyes were confronted with the notion that my room had changed as well. Unlike other Littles though, whose rooms were changed out of spite or humiliation most of the time, mine was changed out of necessity. The rocking chair was new, but comfortable whenever Nancy read me a story. The books, no longer read by me, or even held by me, had grown simplistic and overly colorful. A changing table, crib, and my wardrobe had all changed as well and everything had now been bathed in pink, purples, or some kind of pastels that blended in nicely. It was a wonderfully comfortable room, but I was still confused why we were up here to feed me. Sitting down in the rocking chair and cradling me back in her arms, Nancy didn’t seem satisfied with my position for far longer than normal. Once she stopped moving me around though, I was too low to be read to, yet too high to be spanked. It was extremely comfortable though, and I felt I could even doze off quite easily, but I still had to question it all in the first place. ‘Had Nancy finally cracked like I did? Couldn’t I have just been fed before she did though?’ As if to punctuate my pressing concern my stomach rumbled again. Nancy smiled down at me. “You know… Mrs. Gillies and I have been talking for a while now. She’s been a big help in making sure you were cared for with your new disabilities, but she’s been slowly suggesting other things that could help us bond better. One, I even bought pills for, but as it turned out, coincidentally, I found out I didn’t even need them a few days ago. I wasn’t sure if to tell you or not, but I think as a kind of recommitment from me to you, I should tonight.” I was still confused, but my eyes bugged out in further confusion as Nancy began to unbutton her shirt. I could feel the heat radiating off her body and I hoped that’s where it would all end. It didn’t though and I froze in shock as she unbuttoned a clasp on her bra and revealed her chest fully to me. “See baby… I’ve been thinking that I should become something more for you. I’ve just been torn between my work and home life lately, but tonight, I realized I really should be focusing on you. You need me right now, and if my job doesn’t understand in this world, I will just find another. After all, it’s not every day I try to start being a mommy to my Little now, is it?” she asked down to me. Her words were full of tenderness and her touch was as soft as ever, but I saw a twinkling of some kind in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but I soon realized that it was desire. She had shown it before, but now, her desire was to care for me and to be my new mommy. Yesterday, I might have just cooed at the idea, but today, I felt very different. Unfortunately, once again tonight, my Little babyish instincts began to take over right then. Maybe it was the smell coming off Nancy or the sight of her exposed nipples, but still without much control over my body, my face began to head right for her chest without question or much resistance. Being fully aware of everything and still feeling that something was off, though I couldn’t quite place it, I could only view my actions as an outside observer in silent horror. See, while my memory was still fragmented, I did remember a few things about Bigs and Littles, namely about breastfeeding. Just the situation in general was the stuff of most Littles nightmares, but there were also several facts about it, all interesting to observe but not necessarily witness firsthand. Chiefly though, I remembered something about the hormones in women Bigs specifically. Breastfeeding tended to form a bond they couldn’t break. It was similar for Littles, but the bond formed in half the time for Bigs. Worse, the bond tended to come with a few side effects, namely a change in the personalities of the women feeding their Littles. As my lips wrapped around her nipple, I could do nothing but watch in terror and panic over what was going to happen next. Horrifyingly, as my still regressed instincts took over, I found myself growing attached to the milky substance now trickling down my throat. It was difficult at first, and occasionally Nancy would wince and tell me “No teeth,” but my body just seemed to want more of the wonderous liquid. For her part, Nancy only just cooed at me and stroked my hair in clear contentment. Buried deep, I felt the liquid almost tasted like a milkshake and was the best thing I had ever consumed, but my newly awakened mind burned with the shock of everything that was going on. Before today, everything seemed boring but routine. I could have mapped the next years of my life out with no problem. Once I had awakened though, everything now felt like it was so up in the air. Nancy seemed so much more set on becoming my mommy, but conversely, I felt certain that I wanted more in this life. I wanted to run, play, and jump outside. I knew my path back was difficult, if not impossible, but my goals were still there. As I began to drift off and Nancy just continued to smile in near pure bliss down at me though, I had no idea if her possible new personality would even allow me to. No matter what, I just felt the tremendous weight of the future bearing down on me and all the uncertainties and challenges I was sure to face. For now, though, I just drifted off as I continued to suck down the creamy liquid.

Looks like a pacifier addict. https://pacifieraddict.com/

Like thedman, I have a problem with this. As I write, Mike has received only $111 of his monthly $400 request. A contribution on your part would be a thoughtful gesture.

Sometime a little over a week ago, I think it was a Saturday, the odometer on my permanently nappy-clad life clocked over 5 years. Any chronologists reading may already have realised that my blog on this is already well more than 5 years old and so my life in nappies must also be more than 5 years. This is true. I went into nappies full time in late 2018 but this only lasted a little more than 2 months before I went back into grown up pants in order to spend a few weeks working integrated with a short holiday in the USA. It proved to be my last ever annual month-long pilgrimage there for work as the world, and my world in particular was going to implode in 2020 but I didn’t know that then. Furthermore, if I’d known then what I know now about how to wear nappies as a grown up, I wouldn’t have come out of them for that trip. It was the first week of April 2019 that I put on a BetterDry in the Qantas Club lounge bathrooms at Los Angeles airport to stay in them ever since and that was a little over 5 years ago. Five years would have seemed like an impossibly long time back then but here we are. I think I was downstairs painting a garage at the time our planet completed its fifth orbit of our star whilst I peed in my pants. I forgot to celebrate, or even to remember. I think that’s emblematic for how things look like to me right now. There isn’t much “nappy news” to see on a daily basis and frankly, it’s sometimes tough to think about what there might be left to write about them. Frankly, I’ve found it to be a curiously flat milestone although this may well just be my general mood. There’s a bit going on right now in the “rest of life” department. So many other things have changed in my life over this 5 years that it’s hard to work out what, if any, changes are nappy-related. I still think I’m happier in my nappy. It’s hard to be sure because I’ve largely forgotten what it’s like NOT to be in them. For sure the thought of taking them of does induce some low-level anxiety but who’s to say that this isn’t a natural anxiety in the face how accustomed I’ve become, both physiologically and mentally, to semi-automatically peeing myself. There’s also some legitimate anxiety about keeping the marital bed dry. Speaking of marital, I’m still married. It’s not been without collateral cost and I think at 5 years, I need to accept that I have all the tolerance and support that I’m ever going to get (ie: not much). She still hates my nappies which means she hates an aspect of me and that eats away at me like battery acid. I thought I’d be more resilient to that but rust never sleeps. Back on day zero I’d just assumed that if I ever lasted as impossibly long as 5 years in nappies, I’d be totally incontinent and the burden of choice would have been alleviated from me. I would no longer have to CHOOSE nappies, I would simply NEED them. That’s proved to be not quite true. What I have is nappy dependence. It means that I need nappies for simple practicality. I need to pee far too frequently and with far too much urgency to stray too far from a toilet. This is now to the point where it’s too burdensome to remain dry whilst conducting something resembling a normal day. My nappies let me operate like a normal person, or even on some levels a bit better. It’s ME who can sit through the whole “Dune” movie but at the end of the day, I’m in nappies because I have made a weird choice. I could retrain. I have still not escaped the responsibilities of my strange choices. Having said that, there’s been, quite recently, one or two glimmers of something that looks like incredibly mild incontinence. There have been damp sneezes. There’s the bedwetting thing but some part of me knows that paradoxically, this is some kind of deliberate behaviour, albeit “deliberate” at a subconscious level where logic and strategy don’t get much airtime. The occasional decision to pee without waking up is coming from my brain, not my bladder though. There’s probably some volition-worthy choice points I could make that would avoid my occasional bouts of night swimming. I’m just not sure what they are. So where to next? Five years isn’t really that long, only half as long as Ivan Denisovich’s Gulag sentence in Solzhenitsyn’s novel and generally speaking, in my Gulag the catering is better. Year 6 I suppose. Perhaps something interesting will happen then. “Interesting’ of course, may well be more in the context of the apocryphal Chinese curse than “engaging” but we’ll see.

How many of you grew up wetting the bed? I certainly did. I wasn't reliably dry at night until my early 20s.

For me, I can never give up my diaper that's cause being an adult baby and incontinent, I am stuck in diapers forever and permanently. Not being potty trained and having incontinence is the reason why I can never, ever be allowed out of diapers. It's a part of my life and part of me that I am diapered no matter where I am. I'm perfectly accepting that I will always be diapered and babied. I feel completely comfortable being an adult baby and knowing my mom accepts me as an adult baby. She even allows me to have baby bottles and other baby things around me. I love being an adult baby because I can be an adult in my own way, and I don't have to be potty trained to be an adult, grown-up, and big kid. Diapers also prevent me and deny me the ability to be potty trained. It even shields me from the stressful adult world. They keep me young, diapered, and babied in an adult world. I just like diapers so much cause I am a diaper girl who can't be potty trained and trusted to stay dry.

I'm back! Thanks y'all for being patient during my hiatus. 💜 It's a Briana chapter, and she's got a sleepover planned with all her Little friends. Exciting! 18 Sleepover It was a gorgeous spring Saturday in the Rasmussen house. The windows were open to let in fresh air and birdsong. The wood floor of the house’s great room glowed in the late morning light, freshly polished. From top to bottom, the house was immaculate, far more so than during a regular Saturday cleaning. This was mainly due to Briana’s and her Round Table's efforts. Briana paced in front of the stuffies lined up on the living room couch. One by one, she inspected the chore each stuffie had been assigned. · Knight Captain Alanna: Responsible for beating the dust out of the rug – done. · Squire Beartholomew: Asked to put out a bowl of chips and a bowl of cut strawberries – done. · Sir Chuck the Giraffe: Charged with dusting the furniture – done. · Sir Mimsey the Bat: Tasked with putting away toys and arranging throw pillows and blankets – done. · Sir Arnold the Pangolin: Trusted to put plastic glasses and a juice pitcher on the coffee table – not done! “Sir Arnold the Pangolin, I’m very disappointed you’re not finished with your job.” Briana shook her head at Arnold the Pangolin. “Luckily for Sir Arnold the Pangolin, your Princess is in a good mood. Plus, there’s still time before our guests arrive.” Briana snatched Arnold the Pangolin up and sprinted to the kitchen. Mindful of her pretty pouf dress with its lace overlay, she and Arnold the Pangolin took the glasses on the first trip and the pitcher on the second. The dress and lace were black, so the grape juice probably wouldn’t stain her if spilled, but it wasn’t worth the risk. She hadn’t spent her morning getting dolled up like a Little version of her gothy mom only to ruin it at the last minute. All chores were finished, and the snacks were ready. There was only one problem – no guests! Frustrated, Briana trotted across the hardwood floors in her brand new black and white Mary Jane’s. The clicky-clack noise her shoes made was enough fun that she didn’t feel like throwing a tantrum when she found Veronica – Briana was merely impatient. “Momma!” Briana hopped on the drawing room’s plush rug, which didn’t make a fun noise but had a delightful squish. Veronica was sitting primly in a black leather armchair with her laptop on her lap. She took an interminably long moment to finish whatever she typed before looking up. “Yes, Baby Bee?” “When’s Grandma going to get back? She’s been gone for ages.” “Michelle had three Littles to pick up, all living in different parts of town. I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.” Veronica smiled. “I’m glad you’re so excited, though. Did you finish all your chores?” “Barely! Arnold the Pangolin was sandbagging again.” Briana did a twirl for the joy of seeing her skirt flare out. Twirling was almost as fun as being at eye level with her mom. It only happened when Veronica was sitting or crouching down, which made it easy for Briana to stay in Littlespace around her mother. Two friends on their way were petite as well, though not as tiny as Briana. Nobody in the whole Graduate school was as tiny as her. Arthur was the opposite of Tiny, which made the ease with which he slipped into Littlespace impressive. Briana wondered if she should have Alanna commend him for it or if he’d be upset to have his size brought up. “Briana, are you listening to me?” Veronica had set her laptop aside and took Briana’s hands, pulling the Little girl into her lap. “Sorry, Mom, I was thinking about my friends. I can’t wait until they get here.” With a happy sigh, Briana leaned against her mom and tucked her head under Veronica’s chin. “I asked if you needed a change before they get here, but I can see you’re too distracted to notice.” Veronica flipped Briana’s skirt up and squeezed the Little girl’s diaper. “You’re dry, good girl.” It was funny how something that had used to bring Briana to tears – being diaper checked – had become such a comfort and reminder of Mom’s love. “Melody is going to play with us, too, right?” Briana squirmed until she had her arms around her mom and gave her a tight squeeze. “They said they would, so it’s a promise, and they have to play with us.” “I’m sure your sibling will happily play with you.” Veronica kissed Briana atop her head. “They said they were looking forward to it. But they won’t be here immediately, so don’t be disappointed. You’ll have plenty to do when Michelle returns with your friends anyway.” “Oh my gosh – I mean Goddess – it’s going to be so fun! Thanks for letting me have a sleepover, Mom.” Veronica got a funny look on her face when Briana invoked the Goddess. She always had a weird look when Briana brought up the one thing in her life that Briana hadn’t yet gotten to experience. This time, it was just a look instead of a swat or a frown. Mom even gave Briana a little squeeze. There could be no better time to ask Mom, especially after Briana had been such a good girl with her chores. “Momma, can I go with you to the next esbat?” “Not the next one.” Veronica put a finger on Briana’s lips to silence her whine. “April’s esbat is scheduled for the end of the month, during the dark of the moon. It’ll be one of our more serious ceremonies, and it won’t be a good introduction to the coven for anyone, especially a Little girl.” “But Momma!” “Let me finish. Beltane will be at the beginning of next month and the perfect time to introduce my bouncy, sparkly daughter.” “Really?!” Briana’s enthusiastic hug squeezed a grunt out of Veronica. “Mom, that’s super exciting! Can Melody come if I convince them?” “Only if they really want to come, and not if they agreed because you were badgering them.” “Melody loves me and you too; they’ll come.” Briana hopped off Veronica’s lap and did three spins in a row, giggling. “Thanks, Mom! I’m going back to the living room, so I’ll be ready when Grandma gets here.” “Don’t forget that your grandmother is in charge of your sleepover. Jane and I will be here, but you’d better not come to ask us for something she’s already said no to.” “Mom!” Briana’s exclamation of shock had little effect on Veronica’s knowing look. Reluctantly, Briana nodded. “That was only one time. But I promise I won’t. Okay, love you, momma. I’m going to watch the door now!” ~~~*~~~ Twenty eons later, or twenty minutes later – who’s to say – Briana heard a car pull up outside the house. An excited squeal burst out of her when the door opened, revealing Grandma and a train of bashful Littles. Grandma Michelle was dressed in a sturdy blue shift dress and looked downright vigorous; her health scare from Christmas seemed well behind her. Briana hugged Grandma, Arthur, Fabi, and Ava, adding a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s hug. They were all dressed Little, too. Arthur was in shortalls that looked like regular overalls that had been cut off and hemmed. He had a backpack over one shoulder and a stuffed tyrannosaurus under his arm. Fabi was in a purple, short-sleeved dress with a crazy amount of lace under her skirt. Her bag was an adorable teddy bear backpack – she had an elephant stuffie clutched in one hand. Ava wore a rainbow tie-dye t-shirt and lime green shorts that didn’t do much to hide her diaper. Her bag was a laundry bag – she looked like she was having trouble managing it, her crutches and her teddy bear Brownie all simultaneously. Briana took Ava’s bag, then Fabi’s and Arthur’s, to not to single her girlfriend out. With an oof from the weight, Briana set the bags by the stairs. “Hi everybody, thanks for coming to my sleepover! We have snacks and juice and anything you want; just ask.” “You’re all welcome to have some snacks, but don’t fill up.” Grandma guided the Littles into sitting positions on the living room rug. “I’ll have lunch for you in a few minutes.” “What’s for lunch?” Fabi asked. “Lefse! You’re going to love it. It’s potato flatbread with butter and sugar.” Briana bounced happily on her padded rear at the chorus of aahs from her friends. “I know you all kinda met at my birthday, but did you get re-introduced in the car if you needed to?” Briana asked. “I can do introductions! Or we can introduce our stuffies.” “We had a chance to talk in the car.” Arthur chuckled. “Your grandma squished us all into the back seat of her car,” Ava said with a giggle. “Also, Brownie has already met your stuffies, but he’d love to meet Athur’s and Fabi’s.” “This is Elle!” Fabi scooted up to Ava, shoving her elephant urgently toward Brownie. “Hi, Ellie,” Ava said for Brownie, waving his paw. “I’m Tommy,” Arthur said in the squeaky falsetto he used for his stuffed tyrannosaurus. Briana giggled and grabbed her stuffed Lioness. “Alanna knows Tommy and Brownie but is very pleased to meet Elle.” “Brownie is a kshatriya, which is kind of like a knight.” Ava declared. “Are Tommy and Elle knights like Alanna is?” “Of course, I’m a knight!” Arthur squeaked for Tommy before switching to his usual bass rumble. “Sorry, Tommy, but you know you can’t pass the qualifications.” With Athur’s help, Tommy had a stomping fit on the Little boy’s leg. “I think Elle can’t pass the tests or whatever either.” Fabi cuddled her elephant close. “She’s not into scary stuff like fighting.” “Then Brownie and Alanna will protect Tommy and Elle if needed.” Briana declared. In response, Ava grinned, scooting over to Briana to bump her hip against Bri’s. The sweet smell of potato pancakes followed Grandma out of the kitchen. Though she had food on the stove, Michelle managed to pour each Little a glass of juice and check their diapers. There were lots of blushy giggles in Grandma’s wake, especially from Ava. When the pancakes arrived, they were as delicious as they’d been the first time Grandma had made them. Savory, sweet, and buttery tastes filled Briana’s mouth with delight and her tummy with warmth. Besides the clinking of plates, the room was quiet as the Littles devoured their lunch. Briana cleared the lunch plates without being asked – because she was the best Little girl ever. While she was doing that, Grandma whisked Ava away for a diaper change, redoubling Ava’s blush. Briana plopped down on the floor between Arthur and Fabi, pulling them both into a hug. “I have to tell you two about something a bit scary that happened to Ava.” Briana was glad to see her friends responding with curiosity rather than nervousness. She had the mellowing power of Lefse to thank for that. “Ava and I were out together the other day and ran into some anti-ABDL protestors. One of them pushed Ava over and hurt her pretty badly.” “What?” Arthur’s jaw dropped, his expression struggling between Big rage and Little Concern. “Is she okay? I mean, she looks okay, but…” Fabi trailed off nervously. “She’s okay now, but it was terrifying; we had to call an ambulance.” Briana sighed. “Don’t make a big deal when she comes out, because she doesn’t like talking about it, but I wanted you to know that mean people are getting aggressive with Littles.” Arthur sighed. “Great, one more thing to deal with in town.” Fabi nodded. “So much for ever going out, now that I’m full-time Little.” “No! We can’t let them win. I have a plan to fix it; we’ll talk about it when Ava gets back.” “Talk about what?” Ava asked, maneuvering deftly on her crutches ahead of Grandma. Briana squirmed out from between her friends in time to pull Ava into a snuggle as she sat. “Fixing what happened to you the other day.” “That reminds me,” Michelle said. “Have you ever heard back from the police, Ava? I know Briana hasn’t.” Ava shook her head. “Not yet, but it’s only been a few days.” “Oh, that won’t do at all.” Michelle pulled her phone out of her purse. “You kids, go ahead with what you were doing. I’m going to give the police chief a call.” Arthur and Fabi looked at Briana in surprise. Before Briana could answer, Ava shrugged at them. “Her family just does stuff like this.” “My family and I have a lot of privilege in this town – and I’m going to put it to good use.” Briana squeezed Ava. “What happened to Ava is not okay. I don’t like seeing protestors or people talking badly about Littles. We’re not hurting anyone. They’re the ones harassing and hurting people.” “What are we supposed to do about it?” Arthur frowned. “It’s not like you can take away people’s right to protest. Even if they’re protesting for something mean.” “Of course not, but we can keep them from hurting people when they do it.” Briana thumped a fist on the rug. “And if we convince people that it’s okay to be Little, they’ll stop protesting alone.” “You’re talking about an activism campaign?” Ava scooted away from Briana, frowning. “Briana, I can’t even see my old friends; I can’t go on TV or whatever!” Fabi whimpered. Arthur kept quiet, but he looked as uncomfortable as Fabi did. “I’m not asking anybody in this room to do public stuff.” Briana looked up at Grandma with a smile. “Well, maybe Grandma. But mostly, it’ll be me and my aunt Kiara – she already said she’d help.” “Then you’re just – warning us that you’re going public about this?” The look on Ava’s face said that they would have to have a big conversation about Briana’s plan. That was okay. Briana knew that she could trust her girlfriend to understand once she explained things properly. “That’s part of it, but I could also really use your help! There’s tons of stuff to do that doesn’t involve showing your names or faces. I’ll need help writing letters, calling people, making lists of people to call, making flyers, keeping track of donations, and all kinda stuff.” “You’ve really thought about this.” Ava looked more thoughtful than uncomfortable – a good sign! “Wow, Bri, that’s a lot. You seem kind of like that day you, um – ran into me downtown and bought me cocoa.” Arthur smiled bashfully. “You mean when I was Big and you were Little? Well, I’m still Little, but I can do this! We don’t forget stuff when we’re Little, right? If anything, I think we understand stuff better.” “I just sit around most of the day when I don’t have a babysitter.” Fabi squirmed, her diaper crinkling. “It’d be fun to have something to do, but I’m not a good organizer.” “You could put letters in envelopes!” Briana grinned to see an eager smile on Fabi’s face. “Yeah, I could! Um, could I put cute stickers on them, or would that mess up the plan?” “That would be perfect!” Briana grinned, reaching out to grab Ava and Arthur’s hands. To her delight, Fabi took Arthur and Ava’s other hands. “We can do this Little-style! So, will you help me, please?” “Of course, we’re friends, right?” Arthur squeezed Briana’s hand. “I’m in for decorating and mailing stuff!” Fabi grinned. “It’s scary that you’re going to be publicly ABDL,” Ava sighed. “If you could be careful when you’re out with me, I’d really appreciate that. Even if it is scary – I’m in.” “Yay! Thank you, everybody! Especially you, Ava, for being super brave. I’ll be as careful as I can, I promise.” Ava rolled her eyes, though she was smiling from ear to ear. “You’re lucky I love you, Looney Tunes.” Briana’s giggle at what she hoped was a new nickname was short-circuited by the phrase immediately preceding the name. “You love me?” Ava ducked her head bashfully. “That just slipped out, but – I guess I do.” “I love you so much!” Briana tackled her girlfriend, giggling madly and kissing her all over her face. Ava laughed back, clinging to Briana until they settled into a loving hug. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Michelle peeked into the back of Arthur and Fabi’s diapers, getting a squeak out of them. “Ava, I told the police chief that his inaction was disappointing. He knows at least some of the names of people that were protesting, but he didn’t want to bother them.” Grandma tutted disapprovingly at the police chief as she untangled Briana and Ava, checking their diapers in the process. “He’s motivated to bother them now. We should have a name and some charges for the person who pushed you soon, as well as a restraining order.” Ava sighed gratefully, leaning against Michelle’s leg. “Thank you, uh… Ms. Rasmussen?” “You can call me Grandma if you want, dear. All you darling kids can if you want. You’re Briana’s friends, after all.” She clapped her hands dramatically. “Now! You’ve got full bellies and dry diapers. Briana gave me a list of activities for the day, including a movie, a blanket fort, and playing Cloudland. Which would you like to do first?” “We can’t play Cloudland until Melody gets back.” Briana protested. “Then it’ll be one of the other two. We’ll let your friends pick. Ava, Arthur, Fabi, what’ll it be, couch fort or a movie?” “Blanket fort?” Arthur asked excitedly. “Yeah!” Ava and Fabi said together. “Then we need to get the coffee table moved to the side. Some rolled-up mattresses can go in its place. You kids get busy doing that while I get the sheets to drape between the couches.” “Got it, Grandma!” Briana grinned, tugging mightily – and uselessly – on the coffee table. With Arthur’s help, they got it moving smoothly enough that they didn’t spill any snacks. Fabi pulled mattresses into place while Ava rolled them out. The Littles were in a snuggle-pile on those mattresses with their stuffies only a few minutes later. Grandma stretched sheets from couch to couch, pinning them in place. She even put a pillowcase across the entrance between Mom’s armchair and a sofa, making a cute door flap. The inside of the fort took on a dreamy blue and green hue from the sun filtering through the sheets. “Fabi, get the snacks!” Briana fished an arm through the sheet-walls to pull the rest of her round-table into the fort. “This is so fun.” Arthur giggled. “I wish we could sleep under here tonight.” Ava nodded eagerly. “That is the best idea!” Briana kissed her girlfriend soundly on the cheek before looking up to shout at the sheet-ceiling. “Grandma, can we sleep in the fort instead of Melody’s room like we planned?” “You don’t need to shout, Little Rose. I heard you and Ava both just fine.” Grandma chuckled. “Ava’s idea is a great one. We’ll get your sleeping bags in there when it’s bedtime.” Resuming their cuddle pile, the Littles munched on chips and gave their stuffies a dance party. Briana was feeling extra snuggly regarding Ava after her girlfriend’s declaration of love. Happily, Ava was the same. They stayed spooned together every minute that they played in the fort. The sleepover was already the bestest fun since Briana’s birthday and promised to get even better when Melody arrived. Through all the snuggles and laughs they were sharing, Briana’s heart overflowed with love for all three of her friends. Protecting them and their magical time together was more important than ever. Briana couldn’t imagine the kind of person who could object to the fun they were having as Littles – but she knew they were out there. That’s okay! I’ll change their minds as quickly as Grandma changes my diapers!

Just to clairify one thing.. The one strike policy applies to stories involving minors. You won't get nuked for other rules.

mommy changed me out of a poopy tykables unicorns diaper 20 minutes ago. she changed me into a clean tykables overnights with a booster ready for bed. what she doesn't realise is that I did a nice long pee it 5 minutes ago. my diaper is nice and wet ready for night night. see you in the morning

No offense, but I think if you want to do something like this, you should be consulting with the forum mods and getting an advertising type forum added. This forum has always been about stories written for the general members to be able to see. Yes some authors have subscription platforms where chaprmtes are posted before they become free, but people are not trying to post teasers to sell their e books

Marry fought against the unending tide of pleasure that the vibrator forced on her. She would not cum in public. She gritted her teeth and kicked her legs. Yet, she was loosing the battle and she knew it. Her struggling turned frantic as she felt her body loose it battle to pleasure. "MMMMMM" she cried out as waves of pleasure forced itsway out of her right into her waiting panties. It took a few moments for marry to somewhat pull her senses back. Only their was a new promblem. The vibrator was still going. "Mmmph Heprh" Mary tried to beg for someone to come turn off the vibrator. Yet all that came out were unintelligible grunts quickly turning into the moans of a whore. Orgasm after Orgasm hit her as the vibrator kept forcing her senstive loins with unwanted pleasure. "Hi there! Its your turn sweetie." A condescendingly sweet voice broke through the pleasure. As she vaguely felt the stroller begin to move. Hope blossomed in Marry's now muddled mind. Maybe the vibrator would finally. That hope died as the vibrator kept going forcing her to cum again. They eventually made it to what seemed like a children's clinic sized up for adults. They passed by a waiting room and Marry noticed that their were no children's toy or chairs. Instead sybians replaced the colored chairs that would normally be in such a place, with restrains added on, instead of toys their were expensive looking plastic pony rides with a metal bar set in its centor. A young blong women dressed like an old fashion mom was reading a book in the only chairs, One plain white chair for each sybian, that were in the waiting room. On the sybian close to the womens chair was a girl dressed up in cutsy princess pajama accented by her diaper bulge. She had a red stuffy nose and was crying. Eventually Marry was wheeled into a doctors room. She expected to be allowed to at least move around, instead 2 caretakers carried her over to the examination table all the while a third caretaker kept the vibrator angled on her now ruined pink panties. "Hello. Little marry, I see your in good health. We just need to give you a few shots and you can be on your way to "messy" training." The man pulled out 3 syringes and begun to explain one each shot would do to the barely paying attention marry. "This first shot is going to regulate your weight. Once this has run through your system you will no longer be able to gain weight. Unfortunately, you will have to eat 2 to 3 times more then normal. It will also mean you will need more frequent diapers changes." Without warning she felt the doctor inject the needle into her. "This one is something of an aphrodisiac. It will enhance your sense of pleasure while reducing your sens of pain." Once again it was immediately injected into her. "Finally we have this third bit of medicine. It will reduce your emotional control and will hopefully make you have a few public tantrums." The final needle was injected in.

Just dropped in to state the obvious, for anyone who's reading this: I don't know how I would get through my day without wearing a diaper. My job has become so busy lately, I have no time to get and do anything, let alone go to the bathroom. My wife has been bringing me my lunch at my desk when she's home. It's nice that I can simply forget about the plumbing department until I stand up to stretch, and realize that my diaper has bulked up a bit. It's also been a crutch for me psychologically - when I have to focus on a task that's not at the top of my list of things to do, I think to myself, "At least I can wear a diaper while I do this..." I think she had gotten used to seeing me up here in my office in a diaper and a golf shirt, dressed for Zoom & Teams meetings where the horizon line is conveniently mid-chest, although with the cooler weather, I have been tending to wear trousers. But it's getting nice out again and we are drifting towards the "pants optional" months, so I shall once again be testing her tolerance. I'm still kind of self-conscious about pacifiers during the day, or really anytime outside of when I'm actually in bed, under the covers. I've accepted that when I'm sleeping and she's watching something on her tablet or phone, that she can see I have a pacifier going, although putting it in is the second last thing I do, followed only by turning out my bedside lamp. As I've explained before, it's at least partially for her benefit - she used to elbow me away some nights because I was clicking my teeth There was a stretch a while ago - a couple of years, actually - where I was working on a big, detailed project, and I started using one while I was concentrating, almost like chewing gum, but once I got back to doing frequent online meetings, I stopped using one during the day. Forgetting your paci is clipped to your shirt could be a career-ending move. I may implement it again - I did find it relaxing, although I don't know if I could "get over myself" enough to actually use it in front of anyone, when I'm not sleeping. I have wondered if a pacifier could be a weight loss crutch, again, like chewing gum - if I used one while watching TV, would I be less compelled to snack? But then I feel like I'd look absurd. But then again, I'm also generally sitting there in a big diaper, so... The ultimate invention would be a pacifier into which you could pour Scotch. Sort of the baby bottle equivalent of a shot glass, with a really tiny orifice... I shall begin assembling the blueprints for the patent office.

Looking at what you were intiatied into ABDL in, vs what you are getting rid of. They are not even related. If those were all I could get, I would quit too

It's the time again. We're halfway through the month and no where near our fundraising goal. Please help push that meter if you can and want to help! https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/clients/donations/23-april-bills/

If adult baby prepacked starter kits were available (they could contain anything up to, eg a crib) in three sizes.. 5 items, 10 items and 20 items... What would your ideal starter kit contain?

I want to let you know that there is a new ABDL Podcast. "The Crinkle Club", hosted by my friend Comfortably Crinkly and myself. We talks about many aspects of ABDL and bring guests to the Club. Comfortably Crinkly is the owner of Crinkly Creations, a company that sells handmade custom diapers, and I am a professional ABDL carer. Together we explore, exchange ideas, conversations and information that we hope you find find interesting and fun. You can listen to it on Spotify at Let me know if you enjoy it and if you would like to send me any questions for either Crinkly or myself (or both), we will probably dedicate one episode to Q&A! We have already been receiving many messages from littles, carers and families who said they enjoed it and also found it useful, or found an episode that speaks to them. We are still a new podcast, have just published 4 episodes, and looking forward to more. The Crinkle Club is out every other Tuesday, until we take a summer break.

Welcome

Interesting that not long after you posted that I received their latest email. And there was this.... And at first, my brain registered this where it says trimmer fit: I'm guessing my brain registered that as saying the new fit is total shit.

Thank you very much. I really appreciate it. I actually emailed them and and they said that they didn't carry that type of pacifier. But it's good to know that I can always get it custom made like that if I wanted to.

Tried my first one a week ago overnight. Absorption is very impressive, lasted me over 10 hours totally soaked and very swollen! Would not have been able to get pants on over it, at least my jeans. Only problem I have is the side panels are not as long as on other diapers. I barely got them overlapped on each side enough to tape them together. I also did not like the hook and loop tapes. They would not hold (I have the same issue with Beyond XP5000) and had to pin it on with diaper pins through the tapes. Otherwise from my using only one so far, the diaper itself is excellent! Just wish the side panels were a little longer and they had dual tapes instead of hook and loop.

Not much different this morning except for a few things, As usual my morning diaper, Crinklz Aquanaut diaper is very wet and messy. What is different is my wife is out of town just for a day, will be back later today. I'm going to stay wet and poopy for as long as I can, probably when I begin to feel a little itchy irritation, or a small leak, whichever comes first. I have a complex report to begin writing and will start while I feel the warm, squishy potty in my diapee.

Hi, that’s a very reasonable question! I apologize for not being more clear, like I was in my tumblr post. It’s always a pleasure to meet a previous patreon subscriber, so thank you for your support then and now. This book is a polished, improved version of the patreon series. I added probably about 5k words and rewrote a lot of chapters. I’m sorry I lack the ability to be more specific than that. This is just how I’m trying to manage after all our patreons got shut down — putting the content out there as books instead. And trust me, I do work hard to try to make the stories much better than they were before. But I understand if it’s not your thing under the circumstances. Thanks for reading!

@Little BabyDoll Christine It could indeed be a DNS issue: Sometimes it can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes to a full 24 hours to go through the DNS servers on the internet when you change your IP address. or you add a website. They Call That TTL (Time To Live). I would still recommend that you have your ISP and your web hosting company check it out, because your website should come up whether it is https:// or http://. The fact that sandralyn.net resolves to the same address as that porn site is something I would check out, as @DailyDisays because you certainly do NOT want to have someone visit you, and be "surprised" as He was or I was. We know that you would not have that type of content, so when I saw that, I was like "WOAH!! Christine would NEVER serve that content, that is NOT like her at all: I better check this out". The Clue I got was when you did not have a match on your certificate, and when @tuffydid the 'host sandralyn.net' command and it came back as the same IP address as sandralyn.net, I checked it myself, and it came back the same as his output I would give it til morning to see if there is a change: when I did the "test" you did, I got the page that you gave, in BOTH http:// and https:// so at least that worked for me now. When I do the other.sandralyn.net address, NOW I get:

Just got to reading the whole story, front to back, and damn, I feel so sorry for Varis. His life got completely turned around. And now Larry, that...I can't say it for fear of being banned, is now threatening him?! After the poor guy had his marriage dissolved, and people like Mike being condescending, and his whole life changed as a result? Varis is right: it isn't fair... But I'm glad Mari is still a rock, and Josh is helping a ton. But seriously, (censor) Larry.

Sounds like a New York Jets fan

Wonderful chapter. I think Nina is coming around and is developing some stronger material feelings. Nina saying that she could get used to this didn’t come as a total surprise. I think she has been wanting to take care of Sam for some time. It’s only now that Sam is allowing herself to be taken care of that. Nina is more willing to step in and take charge. Before she didn’t want to embarrass her. I am looking forward to seeing more.

@ValentinesStuffIf the request had come in pre covid I could have listed them up and down the stack, or at least into the high medical market. While the medical market has stay fairly even, the ABDL market has exploded in the last 4 years. I have lost track and lost count and there are several that I have not ever tried.

Discuss with me anytime you like

Wish I could, but I can't even afford a pack of diapers without having to constantly visit goodwill or other thrift stores in search of them...

“What?” was all Jennifer could manage to get out. Poisoning her? Poisoning her how? “She, she gets confused when she comes out of it.” she explained when she had found her tongue. But she couldn’t get the words out of her head for the rest of the day. The accusation hung over her head all the following week as well, and the weeks after that. Hortensia hadn’t said anything more on the subject and Carol had taken her word for it, but as they sat at the dinner table, another untouched plate in front of the preteen, Jennifer started to wonder. “Tens, we need to talk after dinner.” Jennifer said. “I didn’t do anything.” Hortensia mumbled, elbow resting on the white dining room table cloth, head propped up by her fist. “Yes you did!” Matilda said. “What did I do?” Hortensia argued. “What didn’t you do?” Matilda insisted. “We can talk about it later when Matilda’s in the bath.” Jennifer said. “Tell me now.” Hortensia said in a bored voice. “I don’t care.” Matilda looked up from her plate, hopeful to hear what trouble Hortensia had gotten herself into now, but Jennifer only shook her head. “Later.” Hortensia made a dissatisfied noise. “You can’t just drop a, ‘we need to talk’ on me.” Matilda giggled. “She thinks you’re breaking up with her.” “I do not!” Hortensia grumbled. “Can’t you tell me what it’s about?” “We have a meeting at the police station tomorrow.” Jennifer said. Hortensia’s eyes briefly flicked over to meet hers before looking away. “Matilda, if you’re done eating, please go upstairs and get ready for bed.” “Bed? It’s only six!” “I didn’t say you had to go to bed, I said please go get ready for bed. Take a bath, brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, read.” Matilda slowly slid off her chair and turned to leave. “Put your plate in the sink, please.” Without a word, the plate rose into the air and into the sink before she made her way up the stairs, visibly sulking as she did so. “She’s going to be a handful when she’s a teenager.” Jennifer said, but Hortensia didn’t react. “Why do we have to go to the police station?” Hortensia mumbled after a minute of silence. “I think we’re meeting with the detective, I’m not sure. I just want you to be prepared in case they start asking you questions.” “I don’t know anything.” Hortensia said softly. Jennifer gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s difficult to talk about, trust me, I know, but it’s important they have all the information.” “I don’t know anything.” Hortensia repeated. Jennifer didn’t believe her. There were too many injuries. Too many inconsistencies in her story. Too much pain in her eyes. And the odd erratic behavior. She knew. Drugs or no drugs. She knew. “Okay.” Jennifer said. She wouldn’t push her. “Can I ask you something?” Hortensia wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Are you aware you’ve been, what’s the word, dissociating?” “I don’t know what that means.” Hortensia said into her still full plate as she moved mashed potatoes back and forth with her fork. “Spacing out… intently.. to the point you…” She could see the girl freeze in place even without actually verbalizing it. “Hey, It’s okay.” Jennifer whispered. She could see her eyes growing glossy. Jennifer had obviously struck a sore spot, but it was time it was addressed. She had tried to fish for answers on numerous occasions, but all she had ever accomplished was shutting her down even more. So Jennifer had held her tongue and passed on her symptoms to her doctors, but even she was growing more reluctant. More and more medication was being added, which left her scrambling even more trying to distinguish symptoms from side effects. Repeating words of others? Side effect. Switch medication. Fixes problem. Mood Swings intensify. Increases medication. No energy. Lowers medication and adds a secondary pill. Stomach ache. And on and on it went. But it all still hadn’t fixed the original problem of the trances. Not a side effect. Get referred to a neurologist to check for seizures. Not seizures. Told the source is psychological. Referred back to Psychiatrist. Same run around with the accidents. Everything had healed and there was nothing physically wrong. Which was a relief, in a way. She didn’t have a head injury from the attack, no swollen blood vessels ready to pop, no hemorrhages, no lesions. She had dotted her i’s and crossed her t’s, but It had caused a bit of contempt in their relationship. Doctor’s appointments, medicine, nappies and food. That’s what they always fought over. Not homework, or curfews and bedtimes. Hortensia mumbled something unintelligible before pushing her plate aside and burying her face in the crook of her arm on the table. Her shoulders began to rise and fall as her breath came in great heaving sobs. “So you are in there?” Jennifer asked gently. Hortensia nodded. “Would you tell me what’s going on when it happens?” Jennifer asked. She got up from her spot on the table and came around. “I feel funny.” “Are you upset when it happens?” Hortensia shrugged. Her psychiatrist said it was stress triggered, her way of escaping a difficult situation. “Is it because you’ve had an accident? Are you panicking?” It’s what she had always assumed was going on. Because it didn’t seem like arguing with her set it off, lord only knew how much they fought, and not once had she froze as an out. (And give Jennifer the last word in an argument? Ha!) No, she had never seen Hortensia retreat from any visible stress. She had seen her freeze during dinner while being forced to eat, and while doing lessons, and while yes, that could be seen as a stressful situation, she had also seen her freeze mid Mario Kart race, but she had been doing terribly, crashing into walls and such ( even Jennifer had managed to keep her cart on the track) so maybe losing to your headmistress was considered a stressful event. But, sometimes she just stumbled onto her like that, slouched over on the couch or lying in bed. Or sometimes, she’d smell her from the kitchen and she’d know what she’d walk out to. The soiled nappies were the only constant. Usually she was just wet, but sometimes… she wasn’t. It was… difficult, cleaning those up. Usually Jennifer would put her in the shower and stay with her until she woke up, but sometimes it wasn’t an option. And it wasn’t like she had to clean up every bowel movement. It was more like once a week. Her fecal continence had come back, well mostly. (Rest In Peace to her second favorite throw pillow) Jennifer had enacted a new rule. “No one is allowed to run around in their knickers.” “It’s just like a big pad that wraps around. It’s really not that different.” She tried to say. At first it was only when they left the house, but after a few mishaps on the rug and the couch, she had made her keep it on. “But the heat!” Hortensia had protested. So she had made the rule in solidarity. If Hortensia had to roast, so did the rest of them. At least it was cooling down now. Jennifer had gotten rather lax around the girls and had found herself downstairs…not prepared to receive company. The markings on her skin no longer even garnered a second glance from either of them. The summer had been an unbearably hot one and one horrifically miserable night had left them all downstairs in their knickers as Hortensia lamented to Matilda about how terrible getting boobs were. Matilda hadn’t responded, she had been nestled tight against Jennifer’s chest despite her hot, sticky skin and was utterly sacked out. Jennifer hadn’t minded. She had laid on her back and stroked the girl's hair from her sweat streaked face. “I’m going to be sad when she’s too old for this.” Jennifer had said softly. Hortensia glanced over for a moment and resumed her drawing. “How old is too old?” “I don’t know. Nine or ten?” Jennifer could have sworn she saw something on Hortensia’s face then, but maybe she only imagined it in the dark room with only the telly to see by. Maybe it had only been wishful thinking. She had been glued to Jennifer for the first three days she had come back, but then as things settled down she had gone back to her usual ways of keeping her arm length away. She was hesitant to touch her even now, sure Hortensia would smack her hands away or scream obscenities before locking herself away in her bedroom. “Would you tell me what’s gotten you so upset?” Jennifer asked softly. Hortensia shook her head, still hiding her face in the crook of her arm. “Is it about tomorrow?” Shake. “Tens, please talk to me. I only want to help.” “You can’t. You just make everything worse!” Jennifer bit back a frustrated sigh. “How am I making things worse?” No response. “Tens?” “You just do.” How helpful. “Would you answer my earlier question?” “Wh-what question?” She mumbled followed by a wet sounding sniffle. “When you have an accident are…” Jennifer trailed off as Hortensia’s sobs intensified. Ah. “It’s okay, Tens. Really, it is.” she whispered. “It’s not okay!” Hortensia wailed. “Tens, is this why you’re starving yourself? To try and avoid having accidents?” Hortensia shook her head, but she wasn’t sure she believed her. “You need to eat. Starving yourself is only going to make you more miserable. If you have an accident, you have an accident. It’s not the end of the world. You don’t have to be afraid.” “I’m not afraid!” Hortensia growled. “Then tell me what you feel when it happens.” “Tired.” Hortensia mumbled. “Tired?” Too tired to get up and use the bathroom? No. “What else?” “Dizzy, and sick, like I need to lie down.” Interesting. She did often find her sprawled out. “So you feel it coming on? These…episodes?” Nod. “And then what happens?” “I don’t wanna talk about it.” Came the mumbled response. No. She was shutting back down. It was so difficult to get her to open up. “It’s important.” “I don’t wanna talk about it.” “Tens, please don’t shut me out. We need to get to the bottom of this. If it’s stress, that’s fine, but I need to know there isn’t something else going on.” “Leave me alone!” Jennifer sighed. “Tens, you can tell me what’s going on. No matter what it is. I’m here for you.” She placed a hand lightly on her back. “I love yo-” Jennifer gasped in pain and held her stomach. That little… Hortensia had taken her elbow and slammed it into her stomach. Jennifer grabbed her wrist and held it up before grabbing her chin and forcing her to meet her eyes. “Look at me! I don’t care how upset you are. We do not hit people!” Jennifer said. “Don’t touch me! Let me go!” The girl began to wriggle out her grasp. “Then don’t hit me!” Jennifer shouted back before releasing her. “Don’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mom!” She was glaring daggers now, not in defiance, but rage. “One more word out of your mouth and you’re going straight to bed!” Jennifer turned away and leaned over the sink like she was going to be sick. She took a deep breath before turning back around. Hortensia was pacing back and forth in agitation like a bull ready to lunge. So it was going to be that kind of night. Jennifer opened the cupboard and grabbed a bottle of pills from the top shelf. She slowly shook one out in her palm all the while staring pointedly into her face. Night night Hortensia. “No. No. I’m sorry. I’m fine.” Hortensia held up her hands defensively. Twenty minutes and she’d be out like a light. Her medication to pull her out of a rage attack worked a little too well. Getting her to take them was another story. It was like trying to give a cat a pill. Sometimes the sight of the bottle was enough to calm her down if she wasn’t too far gone. Other times she needed Matilda’s help if she felt like Hortensia was a danger to herself or others. Psychic powers really came in handy pinning her down in an emergency. An elbow to the gut would have earned her a tablet, but Jennifer wanted to salvage the conversation. “Are you?” Jennifer asked, a note of skepticism hung in the air. “Yes!” Hortensia said, eyes rolling and voice thick with enough attitude and resentment that Jennifer debated giving it to her anyway. “Are you going to sit back down and talk to me?” “I don’t want to talk to you!” “You can drop the attitude, take a seat and answer my questions, or you can take your medicine and go to bed. Those are your options.” Hortensia made a series of whining noises and stomping gestures befitting a child half her age. Jennifer had had enough. She pointed to the back door. “Go. Outside. Twenty minutes. Go hit your bag or something, I don’t care. Just go.” Hortensia remainted where she was, glaring defiantly up at her. “GO!” Jennifer yelled. Finally the girl began to move, not towards the back door, but further into the house. “Where do you think you’re going? I said go to the backyard!” “The lou!” “No, you’re not going to the lou!” “I have to pee!” Jennifer knew her better than that. It was a stalling tactic. She often said she needed to pee before disappearing for twenty minutes. For someone clever enough to tape a Gameboy to the inside of a toilet tank ahead of time, you’d think she’d be smart enough to turn the volume down. “You can hold it for twenty minutes.” “No, I can’t! I really need to pee!” But she exhibited no outward signs of distress that Jennifer could see. No wigging, squirming, or dancing. She was calling her bluff. “Good thing you’re wearing a nappy then. Out!” “No, I’m not!” Hortensia lied despite the clear outline under her shorts. “OUT!” “FUCK YOU!” Hortensia screamed. “I HATE YOU!” She stormed out of the house, slamming the back door on the way out. Jennifer collapsed into the nearest chair at the table, passing the prescription bottle from one hand to the other. Place one tablet under tongue as needed for outbursts. Her vision began to blur. She felt like she was failing. Hortensia was slipping away more and more everyday and there was nothing she could do. Was this normal preteen behavior? She stared at the bottle and debated taking one herself. The thought of a dreamless, drug induced slumber sounded like heaven. An intrusive urge to dump the entire bottle in her mouth buzzed around in her head like a fly that kept returning no matter how many times she batted it away. Eventually, she stood up and put the bottle away, save one tablet which she slipped into her pocket just in case. For Hortensia, she told herself before setting the kettle on the stove. She had just finished pouring herself a mug of tea when the doorbell rang. She stared at the clock before deciding to ignore whoever it was. Now wasn’t a good time for company. But the doorbell rang again. And again. And again. Feeling irritated, she went to the backdoor to make sure Hortensia wasn’t playing a trick on her, but she was outback with her punching bag where she was supposed to be, not hitting it but holding it against herself in a tight embrace. Jennifer frowned. She debated going out there, but they both needed time apart to simmer down, so she wiped at her eyes and decided to see who it was that couldn’t take a hint. Jennifer opened the door to find her neighbor who lived across the street from her. He was a short, balding man with gray hair and glasses who fancied himself as a type of neighborhood enforcer. She would often see him going through the neighbors rubbish bin, making sure they recycled and calling the cops for any excessive noise. “Mr. Fern, “ she said, plastering a fake smile on her face. He made no move to return the gesture. She let her smile fall and waited for him to talk. When no words came, she began with “Is there something wrong?” “Unfortunately, yes, there’s been a number of break ins along the street in the last few weeks, myself included. I'm going door-to-door to warn the others. I know it’s just you and the girls, so I wanted to let you know the neighborhood’s not safe anymore. Please make sure you lock your doors and windows.” “Oh.” Jennifer said with a frown. Her aunt had installed a security system in the midst of one of her manic episodes, but Jennifer hardly remembered to set it before bed. “Thank you for telling me.” He nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Did the police ever find out who was responsible for vandalizing your car?” “Oh, that. Just some neighborhood kids.” Jennifer lied before letting out a nervous chuckle. “I work at the school. Easy to make enemies when you’re the one handing out punishments.” “I thought you teach little kids?” he asked skeptically. “Oh, I used to, now I’m the headmistress. But breaking in? That's terrible!” He must be having a field day. Maybe now he’d stop harassing her about her rubbish bins not being a full meter from the curb. “How did they get in? I hope they didn’t break your window.” “No, um” he looked away, seemingly embarrassed. “I left my front door unlocked.” “This isn’t a ‘lock your doors’ kind of area, I understand.” At least it used to be. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard about an actual robbery being committed on her street. “What did they steal?” He frowned at her question. “Nothing valuable.” “What kind of burglar doesn’t steal anything valuable? He wasn’t a very good burglar then.” “It was more unsettling.” He explained. Jennifer nodded. The thought of someone coming into her home uninvited and going through her things sent a chill up her spine. “They only took…” Please don’t say knickers. Please don’t say knickers. “Food.” She gave him a confused look. “Yeah, I think my wife scared him off before he could root through the place. Came downstairs and found some guy rummaging around in the fridge. She didn’t get a good look at him, ran upstairs and locked herself in the bedroom as soon as she saw him. He was long gone before the cops arrived. Only thing missing was a bag of deli meat and a jar of pickles.” “How odd. Do you think it was a homeless man?” “No, I think he was just brazen enough to make himself a snack before turning the place. It reeks of confidence. I think he’s done this before and didn’t expect to get caught. Mrs. Prett said she’s missing 200 pounds out of her desk drawer.” “How horrid! That's a lot of money!” She exclaimed. Her couple of years living destitute had taught her to appreciate living modestly. The most expensive thing in her home she had bought was the Nintendo 64 she had gotten the girl’s to celebrate her one year anniversary with Matilda. It was a much adored purchase by both children and the heartache of coming home from school to find someone had broken in and stolen it would break them. Not to mention it was her and Brian’s main tool to slip away unnoticed. Other than that, a burglar would be rather disappointed to break into her house. She had either sold, or given away most of her aunt's possessions, except the odd pieces she knew her aunt had an attachment to, like her Precious Moments porcelain figurines she kept in a glass cabinet. Those she smashed with a hammer in the backyard while the girls cheered her on and laughed. Hortensia had the right idea, smashing things to bits was cathartic. “JENNY! I NEED TO PEE!!” she heard bellowed from the back followed by the backdoor slamming shut. Jennifer winced. “Haven’t seen her in church for a while.” He said with a sniff. “Might behave herself better if you went to her church instead of your own. I bet she misses her church family.” What she missed was her real family. “We don’t go to church.” she said automatically. He looked scandalized at the very thought. “Well that’s why she’s misbehaving! All that yelling coming out of your house. She’s crying out for Jesus!” Jennifer’s eyelid twitched. “Take her back, see if she doesn’t straighten out. She never acted this way when her momma was around. She would have smacked that attitude right out of her.” It had been a rough few weeks. The whole street must know she had some kind of behavioral issue with her hollering. Police had even been called several times anonymously to do a welfare check, thank you Mr. “Your-Bins-Aren't-Two-Meters-From-The-Curb.” “You know Eve?” She asked. She didn’t even know he had known Hortensia before. “How well?” “We’ve gone to the same church for the last ten years.” Jennifer’s lips pursed. He went to that church. The one Hortensia had gone to. The one where Hortensia had been… And he wanted her to go back? “No, it’s not safe there, haven’t you seen the news?” Her posture had gone from defensive to offensive as he spoke. “Oh, that’s a lot of bollocks. I know him, he’s a good man! He’s the pastor's son! That family has been a part of that church for generations. Someone’s trying to run his name through the mud. It’ll all blow over once the police realize it’s just some kid telling stories. It’s all a lot of bollocks.” Jennifer’s eyes began to blur. “There’s a kid in my house going through hell because of him.” She said through clenched teeth. “Her?” He rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment in thought. “That explains things.” He didn’t say it with pity, but with understanding. “She’d be the type.” Jennifer’s jaw dropped. “Look, I’m not accusing her of anything.” He held up his hands. Jennifer gritted her teeth in anger, fighting the urge to slam the door in his face. She was an adult. She could control herself better than this. “This is a good man’s life we’re talking about. He’s an absolute staple of our church community, and Hortensia, well, she clearly has her problems. We want you to be sure, you know, before you do anything hasty. Wouldn’t want you to make a big deal of this and it blows up in your face.” “So this is why you’re here? To intimidate me?” Jennifer asked. “No, not intimidate you, just to, you know, warn you. I wouldn’t want you to go through all this for nothing.” “Go through all what?” “Well you know, victims of this kind of crime usually get their reputation trashed just as much as the perpetrator. Her history with these kinds of stories and behavior are going to come out.” “Are you threatening us?” she demanded.“She’s only eleven-years-old for bloody sake! She’s just a kid!” “I’m just telling it like it is. Everyone hates lawyers for a reason. Eve’s asked us all to keep Hortensia in our prayers for her behavioral issues for years. Any damn lawyer worth his salt is going to find that out.” So much for “Eve would have smacked the attitude right out of her.” “Do yourself a favor and drop the whole thing. Even if it did happen, other people are pointing fingers as well. Let them bring the case forward and save yourself the trouble.” “You need to go.” Jennifer said. She was shaking now. “You come here with your fake story about a break in, pretending to care about us, and threaten me.” “No, no, that part was real, which reminds me, where was she two days ago? Where does she go when she goes out on her bike?” “You said it was a man.” Jennifer had her hand on the door, ready to slam it shut. “They were in a hoodie, and like I said, she didn’t get a good look at him.” “It wasn’t her; she hates pickles!” She said before swinging the door shut. She stood in her living room for a solid minute shaking with silent anger. How dare he. How dare he. To accuse her of lying. As if she could fake those injuries… To accuse her of breaking into people’s houses to rob them? An eleven-year-old-girl? She went to the backyard to see if she had come back yet, but surprise, surprise, she hadn’t. She peeked in the downstairs bathroom, but she was nowhere to be found. Someone’s earning themselves an early bedtime, she thought numbly as she climbed the stairs. She peeked in her room, but she wasn’t there either. She paused in the doorway and sighed. So messy. “Have you seen Tens?” Jennifer asked, coming into Matilda’s room. “Is she hiding in here?” “Restroom.” Matilda said. She was lying on her stomach with her feet curled behind her, an open book resting in front of her “Ran in while you were coming up the stairs.” Of course. “You’ve earned yourself a restart of your twenty minutes.” she called, knocking on the bathroom door. “G-go a-w-aw-way!” Jennifer grimaced and softened her voice. “Would you come out so we can talk?” But there was no response, only sobbing. “Can I come in?” “Go away!” They went back and forth for a few minutes before Jennifer gave up. “Okay Tens, I’ll go, you can come out when you’re ready.” She went into Hortensia’s bedroom and sat on the bed and waited. She wondered if she was still crying over their fight, but when a cold chill came through the room and she looked up to find the window open, she had a feeling she wasn’t so fortunate. She stood up and slammed it shut. He was standing across the street in his front yard, watching her. He waved. She shut the blinds. She needed something to distract herself so she bent and started tidying up. Why was there so much trash in here? All these Crisp wrappers and banana peels. At least she’s not eating only junk … She bent and picked up a half empty bag of sliced bread. Odd taste in snacks, but okay. And then she decided to move the bed away from the wall. Food wrappers of all kinds fell to the floor. “Hortensia…” Jennifer sighed and bent down to start scooping it up. She was obviously hoarding food, but…why? And not just junk, but bread, yogurt, and granola bars. There was an empty protein shake for diabetics, a half eaten tomato, and cottage cheese. And then she saw it. The pickle jar. Jennifer sat on the bed, put her face in her hands and cried.

More than welcome...

Oh noes! I hope you get the new one done before the old one kicks off!

I will try to help as soon as I can. My computer is dying, and I'm getting a new one built later this week. Hopefully it will work a little better.

@SWetI really enjoyed your writing style! This post is super fun! I have been through many purges in my 33 years of life, but have always come back to my diapers. I just wish I hadn't thrown everything away each purge! I can only imagine the ABDL closet that I would have right now! @FretaBWetI am lucky to have a wife whom also enjoys diapers. Some of the happiest times of our marriage have been us being diapered together, pacifiers in, and onsies snapped tight. Me: "Um...excuse me funeral director, can you please put this on my wife." Hands the stack of clothes over Funeral director, looking at me horrified: "This is a pink diaper, onsie with snap crotch and a giraffe pacifier!" Me: Smiling politely, "Yes, and please make sure her hair is in pigtails, it's the way she would have wanted it." Funeral Director: silence.

When Timmy awoke he was disoriented and didn't know where he was, he then felt like something was in his mouth his thought was his thumb, but then he sucked on it a few times, it didn't feel like a thumb. When at lest his eyes finally adjusted to the dim light of the room his eyes immediately shot open when he discovered what he was sucking on. he immediately went backwards and covered his mouth he couldn't believe it he was actually sucking on Miss Braginskaya like a baby, "what the fuck." he said quietly to himself barely audible as he then looked at Miss Braginskaya naked breast before looking at her sleeping face he then slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After pulling down training pants he was thankful that he wasn't wet or messy, he did have a boner though. He then looked around the bathroom and discovered a bottle of aloe vera and he decided to take care of this first problem immediately.

@Baby Billy @Moon3ye For the sake of the story, let's leave politics out of this thread please? 💜

See, I'm the angel! 😇 Sorry, definitely going to be a while before I get back to multiple chapters a week at this rate. Having serious problems getting into writer mode. (Just paid taxes, maybe once my feeling of dread from that goes away I'll feel better... Uncle Sam was greedy this year...)

Because I have been passionately reading your stories for 4 years now and I know that you are mean and love to torture your readers.

Nothing voluntarily for me but in the summertime I do have an affinity for watermelon. I do love eating really good watermelon and the better it is 5he more I eat. Need I say more?

LOL thanks! And yes they are a cute couple "But..." "ANNND," she interuppted. "Since you're such a helpless little baby who can't do anything himself but also happen to weigh as much as a full grown man, albeit a short and scrawny one," "HEY!" "I don't think I can manage pants. So, your butt will be in pampers and nothing else. "But we can't do that! We're going into public! We agreed no one would see" He looked at the front door in panic. Now it was her turn to role her eyes. "Oh please. We'll be going from our front door to the then the car to their front door. Both buildings are surounded by trees and the windows of our car are tinted. No one will see your diapers who isn't into the kink and fine with it. So, as per her agreement, no one will see your widdle diapies." He paused, considering her rock solid logic. He saw absolutly no gaps, so went to his second to last resort. "NO!" he shouted, and began to crawl away. "Oohhh no, we aren't doing that again," she said. She leaned forward and scooped him up onto her shoulder, then lifted him high into the air. "OH SUDDENLY YOU CAN CARRY ME SOOO EASY!" He shouted. He hung with his ups straight on her shoulder, bottom forward, and head town toward her waist. She held him with one arm over it and another on his bottom. "Sudden burst of strength. Happens when dealing with babies. Its a well documented science thing." "Hmph," he said as she carried him toward, then out, the front door. "Better stop whining now that we are out, might attract attention to your diapered butt," she said, and gave it a pat to demonstrate. He looked to either side, blushing. She was right, their lot was surrounded by trees, there was realistically no way for anyone to see them. Still, the thought was stuck in his mind. He considered his options. His first, which was his last resort, was the safety word. However, with a well covered lot, he didn't think it was neccessary. Instead, he considered forms of bratting. Though the lot was covered, she was right that too much noise may attract attention, so whining or shouting wouldn't be a good idea. Fighting might lead to them both being hurt, and being able to overpower his Mommy wasn't within his role as "Baby." He considered making himself mess his diaper now that it was right next to her face. The smell would get to her pretty quickly, and it would be decent revenge. However, that would mean a car ride sitting in his own mess, followed by showing up to the nursery already dirty. More importantly, he wasn't sure that he could mess or not, his breakfast wasn't fully digested. So, he just slumped again, and ler her carry him. She opened the door to the car, and sat him down into his adult sized baby car seat, and locked him in. "Really impressive they can make these adult sized now." "Right? Really it should make no sense given the dimensions required and the size of a standard car, and yet here we are." She set the belts in, effectivly locking him in place. He sat waiting patiently as she left for the bags, and returned with them. She reached into one, took out a pacifier and a teddy bear, put the pacifier in his mouth and bear in his arms. "There, now be a good, quiet little baby while Mommy drives, ok?" "Not likely," he mumered from behind the pacifier.

Ava is checked out for the aftermath of her attack, and takes refuge with friends and family. ----- 17 Little Adjustments The doctor’s office was a Type-III. It had the fancy but informal decoration style of a specialist’s private practice but was well worn from age. Ava was perched on the only up to date furniture in the room, a sanitized exam table. For days with fewer tests, she preferred to curl up in one of the small armchairs that sat kitty-corner between the exam table and the doctor’s small desk. There was a window too high to look out of or into and a spider plant trailing down a cast iron coat rack. As offices went, Ava found it better for comfort than a Type-IV, which was the same thing as a Type-II but new. Both were preferable to a Type-II, which was a regular clinical office with its almost-white walls and blue-speckled linoleum. The higher-numbered types, like community health clinics (Type-VI) and dedicated procedure centers (Type VII), were much further down the comfort scale. Type I’s – hospitals – were just a no in all ways, but at the top of the chart because they were inevitable. For Ava to pick out details of the exam room she was in and map it to her classification system meant she’d been in the room alone for a while. The doctor was busy, but she couldn’t complain. It was at least partially her fault. After her adventures in not breathing, the doctor had kindly fitted her into an already packed schedule. A knock on the door was followed by Dr. Adams making her entrance. She was an older lady but showed no signs of slowing down. Ava was glad for that. She didn’t know what she’d do if she couldn’t ask her grandmotherly, white-haired, broad-bodied tank of a doctor for help. “Hi, Dr. Adams.” “Sorry to keep you waiting, Ava. You know you can call me Leda if you want.” Leda plopped her laptop on the desk and tapped away on the keys. “I know. I’m feeling – not confident today, I guess.” The breezy exam gown Ava was wearing contributed to that feeling, but the real culprit was the medical pullup she was wearing. After all the ABDL stuff she’d been doing with Briana, the pullup’s lack of cute print was no barrier to feeling Little. “That’s understandable after your incident.” Leda put a hand on Ava’s arm, gently squeezing her. “Do you feel like your body betrayed you?” “All my body does is betray me, bit by bit.” Ava sighed. “There’s some good news.” Leda turned the computer so that Ava could see her EKG readout. “Your heart function is strong. Cognitive tests came back as sharp as ever. I know that’s important to you.” Ava breathed a sigh of relief. “It is. But what about – my bladder?” Leda smiled sympathetically. “You’ve lost some function there. It’s not enough to list incontinence as a diagnosis, but there’s been negative progression on your partial continence.” My girlfriend doesn’t care if I wear diapers. She’s rich, pretty, and – has a boyfriend. Blinking away tears, Ava plucked at the waistband of her pullup. “You’re saying it’s a good idea for me to wear these more.” “I’d suggest it any time you’re going out of the house for a significant period, mostly to avoid embarrassment.” Dr. Adams’ face was so kind and sympathetic that Ava couldn’t be mad at her. She wanted to be angry. Nothing would feel better than screaming and imagining throwing rocks at Lord Hanuman’s temple – for five minutes anyway. Past that, the bitterness would only make Ava feel worse. She’d fallen into that trap many times before growing out of it. “Are you suggesting that to the point of being willing to prescribe them?” Leda nodded. “I’ve been willing to do that to help you with the cost for a while.” “I guess – go ahead and write the prescription.” A trio of tears dripped onto Ava’s exam gown. It was a slight loss, but she was in a battle where you didn’t get victories. All you could do was delay the losses as much as possible. “Done.” Leda stood up and gave Ava a hug that she gratefully leaned into. “Do you have someone to pick you up? I’d hate to see you go home alone, as you’re feeling today.” “Rohan is supposed to pick me up, and I have Ollie waiting in the lobby.” “Good.” Leda gave Ava another squeeze before packing up her laptop. “I know today was bad news, but overall, your progression is excellent. You’ve got many good years ahead of you, Ava; you’re lucky in that regard.” Not as lucky as people who get the full set of years – but she’s right. “I know, thanks, Dr. Adams.” “Can I help you get down from the examining table or help you get dressed?” “Just hand me my crutches, please. I want to do the rest myself.” “I’m proud of you,” Leda said, handing Ava her crutches. “It’s not easy to put in the work every day, but that’s a big part of why you’re doing so well.” ~~~*~~~ To no one’s surprise, Ollie offered to accompany Rohan and Ava back to Ava’s apartment. Ollie’s concern was less about Ava’s bad news and more that Rohan’s shoulders would go un-oggled, but she appreciated the company anyway. Her brother’s height, shoulders, and classic Indian good looks had captivated many of her friends. Ava was used to it. Having friends crush on her big brother was a fair trade for Rohan being such a good big brother. Case in point, when they arrived at Ava’s apartment, Rohan helped her out of the car but didn’t offer to carry or help her in the door. He stuck close enough that he’d be able to catch her at the slightest tumble but didn’t make it obvious. Instead, he teased Ollie in their ongoing game of “let’s wind Ollie up about his crush on Rohan.” “Servant boy.” Rohan tossed Ava’s keys to Ollie. “Open the door for us; that’s a good lad.” Ollie caught the keys, rolling his eyes. “Why do I let you treat me like that?” “Because you’re such a good person,” Rohan smirked. “You’re personally making up for decades of British imperialism.” “Yeah, that’s the reason.” Ava giggled, nodding to Ollie imperiously when he held the door for her. While Rohan let Mango out of his cage, Ava went to the kitchen. “Are you two hungry? I’ll fix some lunch.” Ollie bit his lip in concern. “It’s okay, you don’t have to…” “Tangi, great idea,” Rohan said, using the Kannada word for sister as he always did. He flopped onto Ava’s couch. “What are we having?” Opening the fridge on crutches was always awkward – Ava didn’t bother with the crisper drawers at the bottom. Two plastic containers – one full of delicious brown-sauced pork, the other a thin white batter – were within easy reach. “I have some coorgi pandi left over. There’s batter ready for neer dosa. The dosa will be ready by the time the pandi heats up.” Ignoring Ollie’s hovering, Ava put a pot and pan on the stove, grabbing an onion and vegetable oil. “Delicious!” Rohan declared. “Dosa? Don’t you have to stand for a while to fry those?” Ollie’s voice was full of concern – annoying concern. “If you’re going to complain, you can help instead.” Rohan had Mango on his forearm and was feeding him bits of dried fruit. “Heat the pandi – but no snacking until lunch is ready.” “No promises.” Ollie dumped the spicy, curried pork into the pot and turned on the burner. “Is this your mom’s pandi?” “It’s her recipe, but I made it.” Ava set up a station for cooking her dosa. Next to her pan was the batter, with the oil and sliced onion on the other side. On the counter but still within reach was the cooling plate. After ensuring she was well-braced on her crutches, she waited for the pan to heat. “Oh, Ollie won’t like it then.” Rohan chuckled. “That’s slander.” Ollie stirred the curry slowly. He didn’t need to, but it kept him in the kitchen in case Ava needed anything. He might be more annoying than Rohan with how he watched over her, but Ava appreciated it all the same. Not that she’d admit that to Ollie. He’d go way overboard if he thought she liked having someone on standby. “Amma’s pandi,” Ava said, slipping into the Kannada word for mom in her brother’s presence. “Is really good. I’m not offended – much.” “Yours is better.” Rohan grinned at Ava. “As long as you never tell Amma that. Ollie doesn’t have the experience to tell the difference.” “Are you sure about that? How many dinners have you eaten at my parents’ house, Ollie?” Ava grinned up at her friend. “It’s not my fault I was born into a British food family,” Ollie laughed. He’d always been a fan of her amma’s cooking. Though the number of dinner invitations he’d contrived to get went up significantly after Rohan had his high school growth spurt. The banter and the meal were a slice of home that greatly warmed the sad spots in Ava’s heart. She dropped oil into the pan, rubbed it across the non-stick surface with the onion, and poured her batter. As always, lacy gaps formed in the rice batter, which she quickly filled before putting a lid on the pan. Thin as a crepe, the dosa almost drifted onto the cooling plate. Ava oiled the pan again, poured more batter, and folded her freshly cooled dosa. Around the third dosa, Rohan came into the kitchen to give Ava a hug and Ollie a noogie. He left with plates and cups to set the table with. The three of them were seated in front of a stack of delicate dosa and a pot of glorious-smelling pandi long before Ava’s legs could tremble. Without Ollie present, Ava would have asked her brother about his boyfriend, Neil. Given how enthusiastically Ollie was praising her pandi, Ava took mercy on her friend and asked, “So what’s new with you two? I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever.” “That’s because all your time is going to your new friend,” Ollie said through a mouthful of pandi-topped dosa. Rohan good-naturedly tossed a napkin at Ollie’s mouth. “New friend? This is the first I’m hearing,” Rohan said. “Her name is Briana, she’s uh – a girlfriend, I think.” Ava kept her eyes on her plate to avoid the boys’ reactions. “You think she’s a girlfriend?” Ollie had the good manners to ask with his mouth empty. “Tangi, I’m curious too.” “I figured you would be, Anna.” Using the Kannada word for older brother with Rohan felt natural- and Little. Still padded and proudly dry, Ava was halfway into that headspace anyway. “It’s complicated because she’s poly – and has a boyfriend.” “Is that okay? I don’t think you’ve dated anyone poly before.” Rohan put his big arm across Ava’s shoulders. “I don’t know; I’m still figuring it out.” Ava sighed. “You dated a poly guy once, Ollie, but we didn’t discuss it much. Any advice?” “Uh, I don’t have a lot of super useful advice. We were gay dating, not lesbian dating. There weren’t so many long walks in the park. It's more like getting texted, “You up?” at eleven at night.” “That’s not how lesbian dating is.” Ava stuck her tongue out at Ollie. “You didn’t even mention flannels.” “You’ll need to communicate a lot,” Rohan said. “And you can still get hurt. What about this girl makes her so special?” “She’s…” Ava munched on her lunch while she tried to find a way to describe Briana’s effusive Little personality without bringing up ABDL. “Briana is the most open, enthusiastic person I’ve ever met. She’s all or nothing – once she decided we were friends, she was in my life.” “In a good way, though?” Rohan asked. “Yeah, I don’t mean she was pushy – well, she was a bit pushy – but I couldn’t resist hanging out with her. She’s a lot of fun.” Ava leaned against her brother, taking refuge from bad memories in his strength. “Also, she’s tiny, but she shouted down the mob that knocked me over.” “That’s brave. Crazy, but brave. I’m glad she didn’t get hurt too.” Ollie saluted Briana with his water glass. “You sound like you’re falling for her.” Rohan squeezed Ava and returned to his lunch. “Does she know that?” “I don’t know. She’s already said she loves me – and said I didn’t have to say it back, but it feels weird not to.” “I’ll get your apartment packed up.” Ollie chuckled. “There, was that the right stereotype?" “Yes, very good.” Ava chuckled. “I don’t know what to do with her. I like her, but she’s such a pain in the ass. The first time I met her, I thought she was this ditzy rich girl who’d never been to the crazy mansion I was looking after.” “She’s a Rasmussen?” Rohan raised his brows. “Don’t start with your poly-sci stuff, Anna. Yes, she is, she’s adopted. Like, within the year. So she’d never been to the mansion for a good reason, but she still belongs to a mansion-owning family.” “I don’t think Appa and Amma would hate that about her.” Rohan chuckled. “So she’s Michelle’s daughter?” “No – Veronica’s.” Ava rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you know more about my girlfriend’s family than I do.” “Veronica? Michelle’s daughter is her mom? How old is Briana?” “My age. She’s in Microbio.” Ava threw up her hands at Rohan. “Don’t ask. It’s a whole thing, I don’t get how their family works.” Ollie was watching Ava suspiciously. She was sure he didn’t believe her and had an idea of how it worked for Briana to be Veronica’s daughter. Thankfully, he wasn’t the sort that would out her as ABDL to her brother. “I guess old money can do however they like.” Rohan shrugged. “It works the same way in India. Rules are for us peasants.” “If you’re a peasant, how do you get away with calling me servant boy?” Ollie grinned triumphantly. “That’s how low your station is.” Rohan laughed. Ava joined in, glad for the topic-switching save. “Nobody answered my question; what’s going on with you two?” “I’m thinking of hopping companies again,” Rohan said. “Where are you going next? Google? Amazon?” Ollie asked. “Neil and I are considering getting into a startup with our friends.” “Isn’t that risky?” Ava frowned. “It could be, but we have a lot of money saved up.” Rohan shrugged. “If it pans out, I wouldn’t have to work for a few years.” “Yeah, but a startup in Boston?” Ollie shook his head in mock disapproval. “Shouldn’t you move to San Francisco for that? You could make a thing of it, get an apartment in The Castro.” “Living vicariously through me again?” Rohan winked. “The Castro is way more your neighborhood." "I have to live my truth – so I’m either moving there or to Hell’s Kitchen when my doctorate is done.” “Because those places have a lot of work for Psychology post-docs?” Ava giggled. “They’re big cities, and gays are notoriously in need of therapy. I’ll become a counselor or something.” “Or something?” Ava poked Ollie in his side. “I have at least two years before my dissertation is done. Plenty of time to figure things out.” “Speaking of time…” Rohan got up from the table with his plate in hand. “You have to go back already?” Ava sighed. “Sorry, Tangi, I do.” Rohan leaned down to nuzzle Ava’s head. “Ollie, do you need a ride anywhere?” “I’d just take you in the wrong direction, and I have some errands to run downtown. Thanks, though, Rohan.” “I’m glad you’re okay, Ava.” Rohan returned from rinsing his plate off to hug Ava. “The police had better find the guy who pushed you over.” “Briana used the power of her family name when talking to the cops, so I think they will.” “Good.” Rohan ruffled Ollie’s hair. “I’ve got to go, or I’ll be late. Take care, Ava, and call us if anything else happens.” Ava and Ollie waved goodbye as Rohan left, both sighing the same wistful sigh when the door closed – though for entirely different reasons. “Okay, Ava, I’ve gotta ask – that Veronica that’s Briana’s mom – is she the same Veronica Rasmussen that’s a post-doc in psych? The one working on ABDL therapy?” “I guess?” Ava blushed and sat back in her chair. “I didn’t ask her mom what she did for work when she uh – was uh…” “Babying you?” Ollie chuckled as he gathered up the rest of the plates. “Changing me.” Ava looked down at her shoes. Thankfully, Ollie didn’t scoff, even as a joke. “Huh, so Briana is like her test subject or…?” “Veronica loves Briana. I don’t know how they met or how Briana got into ABDL, but – it’s obvious how much Veronica loves her.” “I’m just saying, is she going to experiment on you?” “Ollie, don’t. I got bad news related to that from the doctor. She said – I should have protection on all the time now.” “Oh, hell. I’m sorry, Ava.” Ollie was by her side in a flash, holding her tightly. “Thanks. I didn’t want to – to…” “I know.” Ollie bonked his head gently against Ava’s. “Brightside, though, it’s not a problem for your girlfriend or her mom.” “Yeah. I guess – she has incontinence issues, too. We have that in common, I guess. Woo.” “You want someone to hang out with for the rest of the day? I can do my errands some other day.” Ollie picked up the rest of the dishes, rinsing them in the sink. “No, it’s okay. Thank you. I need to relax. Maybe I’ll call Briana.” “The offer’s open any time.” “Thanks, Ollie. You know, you’re a good friend for a horrible, bitchy queen.” “You’re a good friend too. For a baby.” Ollie laughed at the same time Ava did. “Honestly, though, Ollie – Hell’s Kitchen?” “I wanna be in the center of it all!” Ollie did his best flaming voice, complete with an equally flamboyant pose. Once he’d gotten a laugh from Ava, he dropped the pose and switched back to his regular voice. “What about you? Any plans after your dissertation?” “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll stay here. It’s friendly to ABDLs – or used to be. Ardenthill has good resources, and I could try for a postdoc position in the department.” “I thought you wanted to move to Boston to be closer to Rohan.” Ollie peeked out from the kitchen with a big grin. “Maybe there’s someone else you want to be close to? Someone whose name begins with a B?” “Maybe. Plus, if I have to always wear protection, I might as well have fun with it.” Ava looked over at Ollie nervously. “Right?” “Yeah, dummy. Of course, that’s right. Whatever makes you happy, go for it!” “I don’t know if it does, but it’s worth a shot.” With her legs giving her a warning tremble, Ava made her way to the couch and took a seat with her feet up on the cushions. “Thanks for cleaning up lunch.” “It’s the least I could do, you cooked.” Ollie came over for a hug before grabbing his backpack. “If you need anything, text or call. The Ollie Express isn’t far away.” “If I need to, I will, but I should be fine. Thanks, Ollie.” “See you, Ava.” The door closed, leaving Mango and Ava on their own. Not that Mango was good company at the moment. Rohan had overfed him snacks – he was sleeping on his perch with a chonky belly. Though she was enjoying the silence, talking about Briana so much had Ava missing her girlfriend. She snuggled under a lap blanket and sent her girlfriend a text. The reply came back near-instantly, full of rainbow and cat emojis. Ava giggled and settled down for a chat with her silly girl.

Chapter 3 – A Prescription for Progress Zack read the text message from his stepmother with resignation. Kelly: I’m picking you up in front of the school today. Don’t take the bus home. I will be parked across the street from the school sign. What the hell is this about? He wondered. He had the night off from softball, and had hoped to maybe get a couple of hours of Fortnite in. Kelly probably wanted to go shopping for shorts or something lame like that. Zack still fit in most of his shorts from last year, and anyway, he preferred going shopping with his dad. Kelly could play dress-up with Maddy. He wasn’t interested in being someone’s mannequin. Or doll. When the bell rang, Zack rose from his desk, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He fist-bumped a couple of his buddies, said “I’m not going to be online for a bit” to a few people, and headed to his locker to dump whatever books were in his bag that he didn’t need. Meaning most of them, in his estimation. He’d do homework tomorrow night. He was carried through the front doors of the school with a river of middle schoolers, most of whom were headed for the waiting busses, but he broke off from them, threaded his way between the large yellow conveyances (catching a stern glance from one of the drivers – you weren’t supposed to walk between them), and then he trotted across the grassy boulevard and scanned the vehicles parked in the no stopping zone across the street. Kelly’s silver Mini Cooper stood out from the other vehicles idling along the curb, most of which where SUV’s of one type or another, interspersed with a few minivans and pickup trucks. The two-door Mini looked like it had been manufactured on another scale then most of the mom-mobiles, maybe five eighths or something. She looked up from her phone and waived him over, an unnecessary gesture in his opinion. Obviously, he was heading over to her. What choice did he have? He supposed he could have bolted, or just taken the bus home, but that would have made Kelly angry, which would have made his dad angry, because when Kelly was displeased, she did not tend to keep it bottled up. He glanced left and right, then sauntered over at a pace that, he hoped, would suggest he was doing it on his own sweet time, not as a response to a direct order. He crossed behind the car, came up the passenger side, and opened the door. The front seat was tilted forward, so he tried to push it back, but Kelly blocked its return by putting her hand on the black leather headrest. “The back seat is safest, big guy.” Zack stopped and stepped back, as if reconsidering getting into the car. “Dad lets me ride in the front seat all the time.” “Yeah, well, your dad’s car is bigger, so if he thinks that’s safe, it’s up to him, but in my car, kids go in the back seat. If we get run over by a dump truck, you’ll be thanking me. You might be old enough to ride in the front, but you’re only a stone heavier than kids who use booster seats.” “What the hell’s a stone?” “Language, Zack.” “What the heck’s a stone?” “Fourteen pounds. The minimum weight for riding without a booster seat is eighty pounds, and I’d bet you don’t weigh ninety-five pounds with your shoes on.” “Yeah, but they exempt people over ten years old.” “The laws of physics don’t care how old you are when you go sailing through the windshield in an accident.” “Have you had a lot of accidents?” “Don’t be smart with me. Get in and buckle up, or I’ll pull Maddy’s booster seat out of the trunk for you.” Zack slumped into the back seat as though he was being forced into a police car, buckled his seatbelt, and took out his phone. He deliberately neglected to close the door, or pull the front seat back. “Zack, you’re being a brat!” Kelly fumed, while she undid her own seatbelt and reached across the console to try and reach the door. She had to climb most of the way out of the driver’s seat to get a hand on it. She punched at the start button, put the car in gear, and pulled out into traffic, accelerating abruptly as soon as the path cleared in front of her. Better hurry before they run out of summer clothes. Zack did his best to stare intently at gaming videos on his phone, even though the bumpy ride and go-cart like motions of the little car made watching a small image rendered on a small screen less than ideal. After what felt like an hour, but was probably twenty-five minutes, Kelly zipped into a parking structure next to a mid-rise tower in a complex close to the hospital. Zack looked up and saw a sign that read ‘Medical and Professional Office Parking’. What the hell…? Vaccinations, maybe? Great. However, he didn’t want to grace Kelly with conversation of any sort right now, so after she parked, he waited for her to open the passenger door, and then glumly stepped out, again leaving the door open for her to close. He trudged along behind her as they entered the lobby of the building, and she scanned a list of names and suite numbers on the marble wall beside the elevators. The building smelled of disinfectant and photocopying, and there was a pharmacy off the hallway past the elevators. If things had been going better with Kelly today, he might have thought about asking her to buy him a Gatorade. But he was not going to give her the satisfaction of saying no. The elevator opened before either Kelly or Zack hit the call button. A number of people filed out; a bald man in a charcoal suit, a younger guy in a lab coat, a woman pushing a toddler in a stroller and leading an unhappy looking older kid by the hand. A lady with a cart that had boxes on it. A well-dressed lady wearing too much perfume. Kelly waited for them to exit the mirrored box, and then stepped inside. Zack fixated on his phone and pretended he hadn’t noticed. Maybe it’ll take off with her in it. “Zack! Wake up!” Kelly put a hand out as if to stop the doors, although they had not started closing. Zack ambled forward, trying his best to look unhurried. Once he’d crossed the threshold, she hit the button for the fifth floor, and then held down the door close button, even though people were making their way across the lobby from the entrance. The doors shut, and the box rumbled into motion. On the fifth floor, the doors opened onto another marble lobby, this one with lower ceilings. Across from the bank of elevators, there was the entrance to a dental office on the left, and some kind of doctor’s office on the right… at least it looked like a doctor’s office to Zack. Behind plate glass, there were rows of generous looking leather chairs and benches, a TV on the wall showing a news channel, a reception desk with a woman behind it, wearing scrubs, and a man standing at a shelf of file folders behind her. To Zack, the place looked like bad news, but to Kelly, it was reassuringly professional looking. Kelly walked in, motioned him to the seats, and walked up to the reception desk to talk to the lady in the scrubs. Zack planted himself in a chair and took in his surroundings. The walls and the floor were covered in brown marble, giving the place an upscale appearance. Then he noticed back-lit, bright blue bubble letters running across a bulkhead above the desk. Dr. Amanda Paige & Associates Children’s Cognitive Behavioral & Sleep Therapy Clinic Behavioral clinic…. What is this place? Zack’s boredom turned to unease. There was no earthly reason why Kelly would have gone out of her way to bring him to one of her appointments; he could easily have stayed home alone, and would have been capable of watching Maddy, who was undoubtedly at someone else’s house right now. And anyway, the sign specified that this clinic was for children. He was just thinking that he should have asked more questions before agreeing to be picked up from school, and was considering texting his dad, when the person behind the desk stood up and walked through a door, emerging into a hallway just past the desk. She came around and shook hands with Kelly, who was still standing in front of the desk, and then she motioned for him to come over. Zack looked at the pair pensively, and did not immediately move to stand up, so Kelly shot him an impatient look that got him to his feet. He walked towards them, stopping at what he considered to be a safe distance. “Hello, Zack – my name is Ms. Ellen. Your mother has already told me a lot about you. It’s so nice to meet you. Why don’t both of you follow me.” With that, she turned and walked up the hall, her heel clacks echoing faintly on the shiny stone walls. She’s NOT my mother. Zack thought about saying it instead of just thinking it but decided not to. Depending on what was about to go down, he might need Kelly on his side. This place looked weird. Part way down the hall, there was a room off to the right with glass doors on it, that said ‘Children’s Corner’ on them in more big blue letters. The doors were clear at the top, frosted at the bottom, but Zack was tall enough to make out that there were kids inside seated at tables. Ms. Ellen put her hand on Zack’s shoulder and guided him to the door, which she pulled open. Inside, there was a younger lady sitting at a small desk, with long blond hair and a bright green kerchief tied around her collar. She extended a hand to Zack. “And who have we got here?” she asked. Ms. Ellen responded: “Ms. Christine, this is Zack Fischer. His mom has a meeting with Dr. Paige, so he’s going to be joining your crew for a little bit. Zack, this is Ms. Christine. If you need anything, she’ll take care of you. Please make yourself comfortable. There are books and craft tables, and some game consoles along the back wall. There are bottles of water and juice over there…” She pointed to a low glass fridge in a corner. “…And cookies and crackers over there.” She pointed out a small cabinet. Zack cleared his throat to ask a question, but Ms. Ellen had already whisked Kelly back through the door, to head further down the hallway. He looked at Ms. Christine. She smiled and offered to take the hoodie that he wore open at the front. He declined. She sat back down at the desk and started writing something down on a clipboard. He took in his surroundings. There were a couple of younger kids sitting at a low plastic picnic table, gluing brightly-coloured beads to pieces of construction paper. A girl about Maddy’s age was reading at another table. A boy and a girl who looked closer to his age were watching a kid’s movie from a couple of years before, on a small flat screen TV in a corner that was planted with beanbag chairs. At the far end of the room was a table with four screens on it, two on each side, back-to-back, with video game controllers arrayed around them that nobody was using. Zack decided to make his way over there. When he picked up a controller, a screen popped to life… but not the one he was sitting in front of. He moved over. Hitting the menu button on the controller yielded a list of games that could be played. None of them were new, and none of them were top-tier, action-oriented games, they were all older adventure games with no guns. He found Minecraft on the list… well, he could weaponize some tools in there, he figured. Maybe he’d find a bow and arrow. Or dynamite. Zack played for about 30 minutes, without getting too into the world he was building. He had no idea when they were leaving, but felt like it could be any minute. Realizing that he needed to pee, he stood up and walked back towards the glass doors. Ms. Christine looked up from whatever she was doing. “How can I help you, Zack?” “I need to, uh, use the washroom.” She pointed to an open pass-through back inside the room that he had missed when he made his way over to the video games. “The elimination room is down that way. Just pick up an ‘occupied’ sign from the basket on the shelf, and stick it to the fuzzy plaque on the wall next to the entrance. If you see a sign stuck to the wall, it means the room is occupied, but right now, nobody is in there. Go ahead.” “Uh, thanks…” Zack looked quizzically at the doorway, saw the fuzzy plaque, and the shelf with the basket of signs. He walked over and picked one up. They were red plastic circles that said “Occupied”, and on the back of them they had a patch of Velcro that, he intuited, would stick to the fuzzy framed patch on the wall. He picked one up and pressed it into place. Then he walked through the pass-through. The room he entered hooked off to the left. It was dimly lit. There was a fish tank built into a wall at the far end. More beanbag chairs on the floor. A rocking chair, what looked like exercise mats, and a small sofa. There was a rack of books. What wasn’t there was any sign of a washroom. Zack left the perplexing space and walked back over to Ms. Christine. “There’s no washroom in there.” “You can do whatever you need to do in there. It’s okay. Go ahead. You can use it for as long as you need to, there’s no rush.” “Okay, but… what I need to do is use a washroom.” “What do you need to do in the washroom?” Strange question. “I need to pee.” “You can do that in the elimination room.” “Like on the floor or something? I don’t get it.” Zack felt like he’d stepped into an alternate universe, where up was down, down was sideways, and nobody made any sense. Ms. Christine raised her eyebrows, then looked down at her clipboard, and flipped through a couple of pages. “Oh, right, this is your first visit. Sorry, Zack, my apologies. I can see why you’re confused. No problem. If you head back out to the waiting room, there is a bathroom around the other side of the reception desk. If anyone asks you where you’re going, tell them I said it’s okay. Just knock before you open it, if the door is closed – it doesn’t lock.” Ms. Christine got up and turned what looked like a deadbolt on the glass door, releasing him into the waiting room. It was Zack’s turn to raise his eyebrows, but he nodded dutifully, and headed across the waiting area. A couple of grownups sat in chairs. He guessed that their kids were inside the Children’s Corner. Ms. Ellen looked up at him and smiled, but she didn’t say anything. He found the washroom open and seemingly unoccupied and went inside, although he didn’t like that he couldn’t lock the door. Inside, the room was bigger than he’d expected. It was paneled in the same dark marble as the hallway. There was a counter with a double sink, soap dispensers, mouthwash, Q-tips, a box of latex gloves, and at the end of the room, there was a bathroom stall that, he thought, would have a lock. But before he went in, he took in the other fixture in the room, against the wall perpendicular to the sinks. It looked like a medical examination table. It had a roll of thin paper mounted on a horizontal spool at one end, and a low stepstool in front of it. There was a shelf on the right that held a large box of what looked like wet wipes, and below that, there was a steel garbage can with a pedal that opened the lid. There were also a couple of spray bottles on the shelf, small ones that looked medical. Maybe for cleaning the table? But why is it in here? So weird. Zack went into the stall and relieved himself. It did lock, thankfully. He walked out and went to the sink to wash his hands. He was in no hurry to go back into the Children’s Corner. Ms. Christine seemed nice, but something about the whole place was off. He decided to try the mouthwash – he’d never been in a bathroom that had free mouthwash before, and his dad used it at home, but didn’t give it to him or Maddy. It was green, minty, and it burned a little. He swished it around in his mouth. “Zack… are you in here?” It was Ms. Ellen. Zack spit into the sink. “Yup, I’m done.” He made his way out. “Come over to my desk for a moment, if you don’t mind.” He followed her. While he was in the washroom, another parent and child had come into the waiting room. The dad, in a grey jacket, was reading a magazine. The girl, who looked about the same age as Zack, was wearing a long white dress, and her eyes were locked on Zack. He gave her a sideways glance and walked over to Ms. Ellen’s desk. She was standing in front of it, instead of behind it, and she produced a long ribbon from her pocket that he determined was a measuring tape. With quick, studied motions, she slung the tape around his waist, then around his hips, noting the measurements on a chart that was on the desk. Then she motioned him over to a digital scale that was tucked into a cubby hole under the desk, which she pulled out. She tapped it once with her foot. “Hang on a sec, let it wake up…” The scale showed a zero. “There you go, step up. Don’t rest your hands on the desk – that’s cheating.” Zack stepped onto the scale. After a few seconds, the display showed 94.5 lbs. Ms. Ellen wrote that down too. Then she dropped one end of the measuring ribbon to the floor and asked him to step on the little metal nub that was at the end of it. Zack complied. She stretched it taught and eyeballed the number at his forehead. She wrote something else down. “Thanks Zack, that’s all I need. I can take you in to see your mom now, and meet the doctor, if you like.” Zack didn’t know if he liked it or not, but it seemed to be the way that fate was carrying him, so he let her lead the way. He glanced over at the girl in the dress. She was slightly wide-eyed, and looked like maybe she wanted to say something to him. A warning perhaps. But the moment passed in an instant, and she looked at the floor. He followed Ms. Ellen down the hall past the strange kids’ area, to normal-looking door. Ms. Ellen knocked on it, and from inside, a female voice said “Come on in.” Ms. Ellen opened the door, stepped aside, and Zack walked into what seemed to him to be a big office. There was a hefty wooden desk in the room, and a conference table with six leather chairs around it, as well as a small couch, and more beanbag chairs in a corner. These people like their beanbag chairs. A lady wearing what looked to Zack like principal’s or vice-principal’s clothes, was sitting on one side of the table, and Kelly was sitting on the other. The lady had shoulder-length hair that was blond mixed with gray. She had a gold watch on. In front of her was another clipboard, and it looked like her and Kelly had been looking at a laptop that was in the middle of the table. The lady spoke. “High, Zack. Come in and have a seat. Your mom has told me so much about you.” Everyone calling Kelly his mom grated heavily on Zack, but his uncertainty about the circumstances caused him to reign in his tongue. “Hi.” He said simply. He took a seat one empty chair away from Kelly. “I’m Dr. Amanda Paige, but you can call me Dr. Amanda. Your mom has been telling me….” Zack interrupted softly: “Kelly. She’s Kelly.” The lady paused, glanced at Kelly, then went on. “Kelly has been telling me about some of the issues you’ve been having at night, poor sleeping, accidents, leaks. She said that it’s been preventing you from doing fun stuff like sleepovers, and important stuff, like paying attention in class. And being that tired and inattentive might even be causing you to have some slipups during the day.” Zack’s face turned bright red in a rising tide from his chin to his forehead. Involuntarily, he closed his eyes and dropped his head. What the absolute fu**?!? “Take a breath, Zack. It’s okay. This is very, very common. I have a room full of kids out there who have some of the same issues that you do, some older, some younger than you. This is not a place for shame or embarrassment, this is a place for solutions. I believe that I can help you, and help your m… Kelly… to help you as well.” Zack stared at the floor. “You and I are going to have some meetings in the coming weeks where you are going to have a chance to tell me everything you’re thinking about. Your voice is very important here. And you’re going to participate in some group jams, as we call them, where you’ll meet kids just like yourself, who are working through similar challenges. But for the moment, we’re going to address some practical considerations first. “The training pants that you’ve been wearing at night, they aren’t really meant for kids your age. Sure, they say they are on the packaging, and sure, they fit okay, but what do they always end up doing? Leaking, that’s what. The most important thing for you is getting a good night’s sleep – that’s pivotal to your social and academic life. And the first step to getting you there is… stopping the leaks! Eventually, we’ll stop you from leaking, too, but first, we need to stop your underpants from leaking, okay?” Zack looked across the glossy wooden table at Dr. Amanda. She seemed to be waiting for a response. He whispered “Okay” before he knew what he was doing. All the fight had gone out of him. Sitting here in this room with these two grownups, talking about his bedwetting like it was front page news, was more than he could process. “Okay! That’s good. We got an ‘okay’. So, Zack, I have a question for you – do you like animals, or, do you like construction equipment?” “Huh?” “Do you prefer pictures of animals, or pictures of construction equipment?” “Uhh… what kind of animals?” “Dogs, cats, bunnies.” Zack had no idea where this was going. “Probably… construction equipment. I guess.” “Good! That’s all I need to know for now.” Dr. Amanda pulled out her phone and typed a quick note to someone. “Kelly, thank you for bringing this charming young man in to see me today. Zack, I look forward to getting to know you.” She glanced from Zack, back to Kelly. “Ms. Ellen is going to give you a patient number at the front desk. Stop at the pharmacy on the way out and ask for Mr. Burke. Give him that number, and he’ll be able to pull up my notes. Drive around to the South side of the building – that’s the opposite side from the main road – and you’ll see a steel door with a ramp in front of it. If you back up that ramp and ring the doorbell, Mr. Burke will help you put everything into your car. Be careful on that ramp – I’ve nearly driven off it myself!”

34 - A Social Gathering “Toothbrushes?” “Got ‘em!” Emily handed them forward. “Okay...Socks?” It was a short trip over to the dresser and back. “Don’t we only need one pair each?” Emily asked as she handed them. “No. Go get two, just in case.” Joyce said as she played the packing game like it was an emulation of Tetris. “Uh-huh, uh-huh,” Emily nodded along as she went back and forth. “Perfect.” Joyce responded with gratitude as she slipped them into each suitcase. “Okay, uhm...scalpel?” Emily was already turning on her heel to begin the retrieval. “Wait...scalpel? Ugh...” Emily nearly threw a hand over her face once she realized too late that the trap had already been sprung. “Very funny, doctor...” She shoved Joyce, or well, tried to. Joyce shook her head with a chuckle. “Gotta make it fun at least a little...” She sighed, reviewing the job done thus far. “This is a good amount. I think there’s a few more things I want to bring, but these should be the essentials.” Essentials, barring the makeup and toiletries that were packed separately. “Okay.” Emily agreed. “What time are we going to the hotel?” “Let’s leave in about an hour...” Joyce said as her gaze drifted to the time. “The actual event won’t be until later tonight, but it gives us a good amount of time to settle in.” Emily nodded, though she started to wonder if she hadn’t seen Joyce packing the entire time. “Uhm...Joyce,” Emily looked over the bags, “Did you already pack our dresses?” “Definitely not,” Joyce said without a moment’s delay. “It’s not really the kind of thing you’d want to fold over and stuff if you can. Besides, if I ever did that to a dress Amy made for me, I think she’d disown me...” It always seemed that the rare danger Joyce seemed to be wary of was Emily’s idea of humor. “Oh yeah? What if she ever caught us packing the baby stuff?” Suddenly the look on Joyce’s face was much more rosy, unexpected by Emily’s predictions. “Oh? That stuff is fine to pack. With how hard I bet you can play, I think a little time in a suitcase is pretty minor?” She gave Emily a tender, motherly smile, in a way the girl hadn’t expected and left her with a light blush. “Oh...Uhm, yeah, that makes sense...” With the wind out of her sails, Emily tried to dismiss it now. “Did you wanna bring something?” Joyce gave her a telltale grin. “No!” Emily didn’t need to think this time either. “I was just trying to get a rise out of you…!” “Guess you failed~” Joyce stuck her tongue out, naturally turning the tables so easily. “That reminds me though!” She had a sudden moment of shock. “PJs!” She was already walking over to the dresser. Emily sighed with a smile, finding it funny how Joyce could fret over the strangest things. Though, once she saw Joyce pulling out one of her sets, that answered the question a bit more. Whenever it was about Emily it seemed to hold the highest importance. “So are we picking up the dresses on our way, then?” Emily asked once more. “Mm?” Joyce looked at her like she was an afterthought. “No, they’re being sent to the hotel...” She looked back at the pajamas, deciding to put those back. “It might be too stuffy...” She murmured to herself as she put them back. Joyce seemed to be preoccupied with a decision that held the weight of the world, in her mind at least, so Emily saw it as a moment where she might be better to phase out for at least a second. “Be right back,” Emily announced as she left the room. It’d been something she had been toying with reluctantly the past couple of days. As she entered the office she felt her heart getting tense all over again. She hadn’t forgotten her biggest mistake on day one, and her terrible guilt that she held after the fact. For both chore days, since then she didn’t even touch the knob on the door to the office. By this point she feared it like a legitimate drug; an addiction. Yet after some time away and being scared straight, she felt a little bit better about using the computer now. It technically wasn’t the time for it, since her slotted window had been this morning, but Emily reasoned that a few minutes couldn’t hurt especially after staying clean for two whole days… She sat down in the chair and wiggled the computer awake. Clicking on the internet browser icon as usual, she opened up the page, waiting for it to load, and-- Oops! This executable requires parental permissions to be used at this time. Please enter the password below: Before the page could get beyond the initial white screen this odd warning message had popped up. Confused, Emily clicked the small button at the top to terminate it, expecting things to proceed normally. Yet, like a deadman’s switch it killed the internet browser as well. Odd. Emily re-opened the browser, but was surprised and a little annoyed to get the same message. A small worry had her though, wondering if she’d given the computer a virus two days ago? She couldn’t have, could she? Joyce was in her office between then and now, so that couldn’t be it… “Joyce?” Emily called. Emily didn’t consider herself a tech-wiz by any stretch of the means, only aware of the basics, and Joyce as well, but maybe she could fix this…? A few seconds later and Joyce popped her head in. “What’s up?” “This internet isn’t working...” Emily said worriedly as she clicked and clicked, showing Joyce the screen. “It’s not a virus, is it?” “Hm?” Joyce stared at it for a second before realizing. “Oh!” She laughed a little. “No, that’s not a virus. Just something I had put on both computers.” “Both? What do you mean?” Emily asked, glancing down at the other tower. She hadn’t thought to try the other… “Since you didn’t notice until now, I guess that really means you did keep away from the office all this time?” Joyce gave her an impressed, proud look. “This is some insurance to yourself to keep you from going on when you aren’t supposed to.” “Hu...huh?” Emily asked again, still not quite getting it. Joyce saw that it wasn’t quite getting through and that this might turn into something slightly delicate. “Well...Emily, after what happened the first time and how beat up you were about it, I figured this would be like a last resort in case you tried using the computer when you aren’t supposed to?” “But that’s...” Emily started to say. She never expected Joyce to move forward with this on her own. It was Joyce’s computer, but...wasn’t it also Emily’s too? That sounded selfish to say even in her head. “I don’t need a lock on my screen time...” “Of course you don’t,” Joyce agreed, stepping in for Emily to slide the chair back. Joyce leaned over the keyboard and coincidentally blocked the screen as she typed in a way that Emily couldn’t see the password herself. And like magic the internet browser was back and working as intended. “Can’t we turn it off?” Emily asked. “Or just give me the password?” “I love you, Emily,” Joyce said resolutely, “but no, and no. You can job hunt, but it’s in moderation. Since you spilled over a bit last time, I wanted to try some ways that might help with that.” Emily stayed quiet. Amidst all the cuddles, baby clothes, diapers and subsequent use that came with it, this truly felt like she was being treated like a kid. Not in the ways that Emily consensually agreed to and engaged in with Joyce, which is why the effect felt so profound. This had been a one-sided decision made for her that affected her freedoms. “...But, it won’t happen again?” “I trust you and I believe you, Emily,” Joyce smiled as she gave her a kiss. “But I don’t want you beating yourself up again if something did happen. Listen, you won’t even notice it if we just stick to our agreement? I have it set up so it won’t turn on during the time of the day you’re allowed to. Outside of that, all you need to do is ask me? Though, I hope you’d be browsing mostly for fun.” Emily sighed. There was some truth to it, but what rubbed her slightly the wrong way was the means of execution. Maybe it was the explicit use of parental controls that’d be used on a genuine kid that bothered her. But, Emily swallowed the bitter pill and tried to be the bigger person. “Okay...then in that case, can I check my emails?” “Of course,” Joyce answered without a second thought. “I’m gonna throw us together a snack soon, okay? The drive up to the hotel might take a little with traffic.” “Kay, thanks,” Emily said as Joyce left the room. As Emily went back to her usual computer routine, while she felt a gentle leash on herself now, she did ponder things a bit more that didn’t make it seem completely oppressive… Joyce wasn’t keeping her from the internet or access to the outside world. She clearly still had her own phone for that if she needed anything; it was just a computer that she liked to use for business and job related stuff. With that in mind, limiting her time on a specific point of access didn’t really get in the way of most things unless Emily wanted it to. And not only that, but Joyce did sound lenient on the whole thing? Lenient within the idea of keeping the parental locks, though… And as she combed through her inbox, unintentionally the fuzzy corners of her mind started to fantasize a little too much. Guess having my screen time limited really makes me look like her little girl, huh…? Emily had a small grin with a blush, thinking in her mind. Holding something hostage from someone...was it normal to get excited over something like that? “Emily!” Joyce interrupted her devious thoughts with a call from a nearby place. “Come on! Computer time’s over, let’s eat this snack before it’s time to go!” “What?” Emily called back with confusion. Had it really been that long already? She glanced at the clock, once more dreading her inability to track the time. “Off the computer! Now, please!” Joyce shouted again, prompt and firm, like an authority figure would be. Emily did comply without a fuss this time as she shut it down. “It has bananas…!” A coaxing voice called once more. Emily was already on the move, though maybe a keen eye could have discerned that she did move a tiny bit faster at the mention of her trigger word… As they turned into the drive, a circular road attached to the main entrance of the hotel, Emily felt a little intoxicated by the magnitude and grandiose atmosphere from the front steps alone. “Are you pressing your face into the glass?” Joyce chuckled with a side glance at her. Obviously something like this was new to her. “Yesh!” Emily sputtered as she pressed her face against the window, just to find that even then she couldn’t see the top of the building and where it ended. The hotel looked like something you’d find a bunch of snobby yuppies lounging about in, which potentially could be true even in this reality, but the comparison stood. “Are we really staying here?” “No,” Joyce smiled with sarcasm, “I just needed to make a U-turn back the other way.” Emily, still staring out the window made a perplexing gesture, which was to aimlessly flail an outstretched hand back at Joyce, maybe meant to be a shove for teasing her? But being a weak-willed opponent and no match for Joyce’s deftness, she exploited one of her many openings by slipping her fingers between Emily’s. “Glad you came with me, you know?” “Sorry in advance once I make you look bad...” Emily did say with some trepidation. “Oh stop it,” Joyce said, and as they were in a short line of cars, she did have the visual freedom to land a playful shoulder squeeze on Emily. “It’s not going to be as scary as you think…” She tried to reassure her worrisome other half. Emily was still too starstruck to fully notice the car pulling forward, aligning her passenger window with the entrance of the hotel. It took a second then to realize that a cascade of red with arrayed buttons standing right in front of the passenger window was not the hotel, but the uniform of an employee. She pulled back with a blush as Joyce had been amusingly waiting for the realization, finally rolling down her window. “Good afternoon,” The employee had leaned over to fit his face into view. If he had seen Emily making herself look like a complete fanatic, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “Are there any bags you’d like for us to unload for you?” Emily couldn’t find the words as she started turning over to Joyce like she was the adult in charge. But just as she looked back Joyce said, “Yes, that’d be great! Is there someone who can take the car?” “Of course, miss,” the employee nodded as he stood upright and signaled another employee who was meandering by the entrance. After hustling over they disappeared behind the car. “Did we need them to carry it for us?” Emily asked, feeling a little weird. Hotels weren’t a foreign concept to her, but thinking in the past, she’d never dealt with staff this accommodating… Joyce seemed to catch on to this as well while she did look slightly confused, but smartened up right away. Sliding into a coy smile, instead she said, “Well, maybe with two sets of hands we could, but I need to hold your hand to keep you from getting lost, remember?” Emily rolled her eyes. “Would you ever do this to the staff?” “Obviously not,” Joyce laughed. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Emily,” she grinned, “you’re special to me!” Emily had to turn her gaze because she couldn’t stop the oncoming smile, watching as their familiar-looking bags walked into the hotel. “Okay, silly, our turn to get out,” Joyce announced with the audible unlock of the doors. Warm, orange lights dyed parts of the gushing water fountain. Men and women in suits, dresses, and all kinds of high-end wear flowed into the building. She couldn’t help but find them all seeming so...distant. Like worlds apart. Socioeconomic worlds apart. Emily had all the pieces on paper to know that this was the kind of world that Joyce lived in, yet a literal taste of it was finally being experienced. She was nearly ready to sit back into the car from overexposure right up until Joyce stepped out herself. “Thank you very much,” Joyce smiled as she deposited a set of keys into a staff’s hand, along with a neatly folded green bill. Emily couldn’t have been positive, yet it seemed as if it was a two-digit number and started with a five… She was still as mute and motionless up until Joyce grabbed her hand. “You’re not sick, are you?” Joyce began to show concern. “What…?” Emily refocused on her. “No...just...feeling out of place.” Along with a warm smile, Emily could feel Joyce’s thumb gently massage circles into her palm. “Fishie out of water, huh? I absolutely promise you, you’ll be fine.” Joyce said as they walked together up the steps. Beyond the glass windows and doors it led into a massive lobby, championing a ceiling that selfishly ate away either the two or three floors that could have been there instead. A grand, intricate chandelier hung from above, looking to span by an enormous width yet aligned with hundreds upon hundreds of illuminated pieces of foggy crystal as small as a finger a piece. Simple cream tiles decorated the floor, yet Emily couldn’t help but feel that within its simplicity was its appeal and massive expense. Even the massive plants propped in the corners or as centerpieces looked like they’d turn down the carbon dioxide exhaled from a mere commoner. Patrons occupying the lobby, which was a decent amount, were more of the same kind of people they saw from the car. Joyce was already sighing as they got closer to the desk, or as close as they could with the few guests ahead of them. “Another reason why I hate these overnight things...” Joyce whispered to Emily with a grin. Emily forced a smile, yet there was still an uncomfortable chill lingering in the atmosphere. “Do you wanna go sit down while I take care of this?” Joyce asked. “Uhm...” Emily pivoted a foot on its toe as she squeezed Joyce’s hand a little tighter. “I...I don’t mind staying with you…?” It reminded her of the times as a kid when she’d be too nervous to go about exploring a new place on her own. She wanted her comfort objects and she currently had one right in her hand. “Kay then,” a calm reply came. There was no pushback, yet complete understanding. At a time of extreme uncomfortability, partly induced by Emily’s own mind, what also flooded her thought space was self-conscious, worried thoughts about how close to Joyce she was being. Was she being too affectionate? Her eyes darted from side to side. Were they fully committed to showing themselves off as a pair? “What’s got you so wiggly?” A whisper entered Emily’s ear. The finger’s Emily’s were intertwined with suddenly re-buckled and trapped hers in place. It came with a friendly smile, one that was willing to dissect beyond the broad stroke Joyce already was aware of. “Is...” Emily whispered back, though leaning in a bit closer just to bolster a sense of privacy, “is it really okay for us to act like...you know…?” Joyce’s reaction was unexpected as her eyebrows rose high and the corners to her mouth fell slightly low. Her pupils ran in a small circle before she slightly leaned her head back then dove in with a swiftness for Emily’s face. “Mmmmm…!” Lips locked with lips as Emily wide-eyed only pulled away with the loud finish from Joyce, “-wah!” Immediately Emily looked around to see if anyone had noticed. A few people had indeed stared, and some others didn’t… What was Joyce doing? How could she be so bold?! “Does that answer your question?” Joyce gave her a cocky grin, yet melted into a sympathetic smile. “I told you, didn’t I? This is something we don’t have to hide.” Then she blinked, only realizing something as an unfortunate afterthought. “W-wait...you’re okay with this, right? I can kiss you in public, right…?” Her lips had been folded in on each other as she pulled away, but finally, a small giggle escaped Emily as her attention and focus had been stolen so easily and reset to a status quo. Somehow, her mind felt a little less foggy and had less on its plate. A lot less seemed to matter in the face of total upset. An answer for Joyce was by having Emily’s arm stick even closer to hers, nestling itself closer to Joyce’s side as did her arm to Emily’s. “Sorry...” Emily muttered, hoping that the one word could communicate enough on its own. “Don’t be.” Joyce affirmed, looking on ahead. A little bit after Emily had been settled down, it was finally their turn at the front desk. “Good afternoon, I’m sorry for the long wait,” the staff member apologized with seeming sincerity. “It’s no problem, really,” Joyce waved it off with a standard expression. “We have a booked room? Under Joyce Summers?” “Yes, of course,” they nodded, letting their eyes drift to the screen that was below and shrouded from the patron’s field of view. “Not that I doubt it’s you...” they apologetically laughed a little. “Here you go,” she already handed them the I.D. After a quick confirmation and a piece of paper was signed, Joyce asked them, “As for our bags, do you think someone could bring those up for us?” “Certainly.” They responded without hesitation. “Here’s your room key,” the staff handed Joyce a plastic card, then they glanced at Emily before going back to the woman in charge. “Would you like a second one?” “No thank you!” It came as a chipper reply, as if the speaker had been delighted to be asked such a thing. Emily did give Joyce a slightly odd stare, but Joyce was already walking them from the desk. “Shouldn’t I have one too?” Emily asked in a low voice. “Plan on doing some sightseeing on your own?” Joyce innocently asked, yet of course it was sarcasm. “You can have one if you want, but I figured this’d drive home the whole ‘leash’ thing?” “Oh...” Emily said at a slight loss, clearly forgetting their way-back-when discussion. “That’s fine then.” Not only avoiding making waves, but committing herself to her chaperone also sounded nice too. “What about our bags…?” Emily started to ask as she was led away by the hand. “They’ll get there. The staff use a different elevator, so we’ll probably get there before them.” Joyce explained. “Does it feel weird?” She chuckled. “Yeah...” Emily sheepishly admitted as Joyce called the elevator. “You aren’t worried about them stealing our stuff or anything?” Joyce laughed with a tone erring on nervousness. “Well if you say something like that, of course I’ll get worried! But no, not too much. Almost everything we brought is replaceable.” Emily felt her hand give a soft squeeze. “Almost everything.” “Joyce Summers?” A woman called just as the elevator doors dinged and parted open. Both girls turned their heads. “Oh! It is you!” A head of long, blond hair made its way over, glistening in their sea green dress and sparkling pearl necklace. Emily could practically see her own reflection in the white of their unnaturally perfect teeth that peeked through her bright redly dressed lips. “Caroline,” Joyce smiled back, yet Emily, the silent onlooker, could discern between one of her genuine expressions and a mechanical one… She was an absolute machine. “It’s great to see you! How have you been?” The woman made a cackle as she waved her white-gloved hand. “Oh, you know, travel and whatnot...scouting properties…!” “Expanding the business?” Joyce prodded, putting no more energy into her interaction than she had to. “Hm?” She seemed confused for a moment, then had a eureka. “Oh! Business? No, no!” She laughed. “I have a birthday coming up soon and my husband promised me we’d finally start looking into a third vacation home!” She made a small, womanly squeal that to Emily, seemed...off-putting from this particular adult. “Have you been to Italy or France, recently? Ugh...decisions…!” “That does sound difficult,” Joyce acknowledged with a nod, “I hope that works out for you and your husband.” “Thank you so much!” Caroline looked sort of sincere, albeit to Emily everything about the exchange felt forced, or at least one party was trying to placate the other. But then, it was only a matter of time until her eyes fell upon Emily. “Oh? Did you bring your assistant for tonight?” She looked back at Joyce after a brief glance at Emily. “I didn’t think to bring mine...” “No, I didn’t.” Joyce replied with a tinge of curtness, yet so small it went unnoticed by a woman blinded by dollar signs and glitter. Maybe it became a matter of pride, but in some way Emily being seen as anything but her absolute treasure seemed to irk her oddly; like a doctor’s greatest title and achievement being ignored. Emily made a small noise of surprise as an arm came from behind her back and around her waist. “I brought my girlfriend.” There seemed to be a look of genuine surprise on Caroline’s face, indicating she hadn’t pegged Joyce for the type. And as Emily was used as a display item, she remained exactly that with sealed lips despite the reddened cheeks. Joyce didn’t look smug or particularly angry, yet the slight crease on her forehead showed that she was determined to make a point. One to Caroline, and one to herself. “...Oh.” Caroline said only that. Her social balance had been thrown as the situation became awkward. While Emily’s inner part feared the idea of somehow rejection or ridicule, it obviously didn’t seem that way with the woman. She was just surprised. Only that. Had Joyce never shown any signs in the working world? Finally, a fourth player entered the match as it dinged with opening doors. “Well, that’s us~” Joyce continued to steal the rhythm of the conversation as she escorted Emily along by the waist. “See you at the dinner tonight!” After punching in the number, the doors closed. “Haa...” Joyce exhaled aloud, giving Emily a toothy smile. “That felt good, didn’t it?” In return she earned a dumbfounded, confused smile. “Hu...huh?” “You and I?” Joyce made eye contact with a silly grin. “We’re dating?” Emily found the look infectious, but was still confused. “Uh...huh?” But apparently it was enough for Joyce, as she let out her own squeal, although Emily found it to be like music this time. “It just...it really makes me excited getting to tell people that...” She laughed happily. “You sound like a schoolgirl,” Emily laughed herself, “It’s like this is your first relationship?” “...Well...it sort of is...” Joyce suddenly mentioned, which caught Emily by surprise. “Wait, what? Really?” Emily had a double-take. While there was Jack, there were some other smaller bouts, yet all the same that meant she finally had something over Joyce? “Not completely,” Joyce said in a chastising tone, wiping the beginnings of a haughty look off Emily’s face. “This is your first relationship with a woman too, you know?” Emily looked a bit more sheepish with an embarrassed chuckle. “...Good point.” “And what I mean is that it’s my first relationship that...you know, has gone as far as this one has.” Now that their minds were on the same wavelength, Emily could be in agreement. “So...you like getting to tell people that you have a girlfriend that you get to baby?” “Just the first part,” Joyce corrected readily, “but the other half is what makes me so excited… It’s like...if you and your friends each had a pool, and you all said that yours was cool, but deep down, no matter what, you just know that yours is the coolest?” “Uhm...” Emily laughed. “I think I get it? I guess I didn’t think of it that way… You’re my girlfriend, but there’s a lot more to it?” “So much more.” Joyce smiled. “You’re a one-in-a-bajillion, Emily. I love you so-so-so much!” Emily mumbled a response through the hug, but finally the elevator doors opened. “Fancy...” Emily quietly noted as they walked down the tiled hall. It sort of reminded her of the hallway they had leading into the apartment, but a bit more dolled up. But right then, Emily found it craziest of all to think that she could even compare this kind of hotel to her everyday now. “Not a lot of rooms on this floor?” She also commented, noticing the lack of doors. Joyce giggled as she kept Emily at pace with a hand behind her back. “You’ll see.” They stopped in front of a door and Joyce slipped in the key, opening up to the room. Emily was confused. They entered the room, or entrance area, paired with a small cabinet meant for shoes. Then, the area expanded into a much larger one. Tall, glass windows stretching from floor to arches just beneath the high, high ceiling, of which a chandelier was suspended from. A terribly long sofa spanned what seemed like a meager amount of the living space and wrapped around a large coffee table, set before a mini movie-screen. And to the left there was...even an area that looked like a small kitchen? A sink, counterspace, a fridge… “Wh...where’s the bed?” Emily laughed nervously. Clearly the stimulus and realization was putting her into shock. “In the next room,” Joyce laughed at the secondhand spectacle, continuing to guide her. Next over was the bedroom, a fully fledged one. But it couldn’t be right. This. This was what the hotel room was. A decently sized room with a bed, desk, nightstands and large tv. This is what Emily recognized as their room, clearly nice because it was such an expensive hotel. So in that case...She spun her head around from where they came, as if it were all some fever dream that couldn’t be distinguished from reality. What the hell was all that before? Some kind of communal space for everyone else on the floor? “Is...is all that stuff part of this room?” “It is a suite?” Joyce smirked. “But we’re just staying one night?” It was too surreal. Forget a suite; Emily couldn’t think of a time she’d ever been in anything more than a 2-star hotel, if that. “Not that we couldn’t afford it,” Joyce nonchalantly shrugged, “but the room is on another person’s dime? I might have gone a little smaller if I knew it’d do this to you…” Joyce chuckled as she ran her hand through Emily’s hair. There was a distant knocking noise. Joyce turned her head first. “Oh, they might be here with our stuff...” She already left the room with a stunned Emily slow from behind. Sure enough it was, although there seemed to be some additions with their luggage. Staff came inside holding vertical spreads of dress wrapped in foggy plastic along with what could only be shoe boxes. Joyce guided and instructed, whilst Emily remained a fish out of water standing off to the side as she silently watched them unload. Quiet and trying not to be a nuisance, she watched from over the couch as the staff brought everything in. They were deft and orderly, seeming to be gone faster than in the time it took them to come. Joyce ended their aid with more ample tips to send them along their way. “Now we have everything.” Joyce declared after she closed the door. “Are you sure you’re fine? I know this might feel like a lot right now… Just tell me if this is moving too fast for you.” “It isn’t...” Emily laughed apologetically. “I’m sort of just still trying to digest everything. I feel like this is the kind of stuff you only see in movies...” That was essentially the dilemma; feeling as if she truly was in a movie. Her first meeting with Joyce and her home was a lot in itself, but there was her down to earth personality, the home-cooked meals, chit-chat and romance that grounded everything Emily once revered to such a point that she needed to turn away. Yet tonight seemed to reset that level of comfortability that she had and left her in a place she found so unreal and to be so undeserving of, it couldn’t possibly be real. “It’s not a movie, I can promise you.” Joyce chuckled as she came closer, occupying Emily’s vision. “If you ever feel like it’s too much tonight, just let me know. We’ll head right back here. And even then if that’s not enough, I’ll drive us right home.” “Stop it...” Emily sounded appreciative, but she knew that wasn’t realistic. Obviously Joyce was here for the sake of her career. She couldn’t afford to make Joyce be selfish. “So, are you going to tell me if we need to leave, or should I make the judgement call myself?” Joyce gave her a stern, yet loving look. Emily raised her hands and dropped them on Joyce’s shoulders with a smirkish sigh. “I promise I’ll let you know… But I’m fine, really. Getting to see you is enough...” “I’ll keep that in mind tonight,” Joyce smiled and followed up with a kiss, “you can be an attention hog all you want, okay?” “Yah-huh.” Emily nodded as she stepped back with a small breath, feeling a bit better. “Why don’t you come watch me while I unpack?” Emily gave her a weird look. “I can unpack, too?” “But you do so much already now?” Joyce said in an earnest, disappointed voice. “Joyce...” Emily came off as a bit deadpan. “I make our bed, vacuum and get clothes ready to go in the washing machine...I don’t do that much...” Joyce looked a bit troubled, but she gave up fast. “No...you’re right. Okay, we’ll unpack as a team.” “Don’t make it sound like I’m pulling teeth!” Emily whined as she pushed Joyce with both hands, headed back to the bedroom. Joyce hoisted their luggage onto the massive bed and they got to work. Yet an unexpected surprise was sitting in Emily’s bag once she opened it. “Pip?” Emily’s instinctive reaction was to say its name, as if it were an actual person who could respond with just as much intrigue. “I told you, almost everything we packed is replaceable? Not Pip, though.” Joyce gave her a beaming smile like her smart planning had paid off. “You didn’t have to pack him...” Emily said with a tone that wavered on convincing. She gave him a brief squeeze as if to test by his squishiness if it were the original. And it was, meaning with the test concluded Emily flung him forward and to the other side of the bed. “We bring Pip all the way with us and you just throw him?” Joyce teased. Emily shrugged with a coy smile. “I dunno. But you can’t tell me how to treat my stuffed animals?” “You’re right, I concede...” Joyce gave up with her own grin. Emily would argue even now that Joyce overpacked for their one-night stay, given by the decent volume of things they removed from their suitcases. “Doesn’t it make more sense to just leave all our stuff in the suitcases?” Emily asked, truthfully finding it to be unnecessary. “We’re just gonna have to re-pack it all in the morning...” “So you volunteered to help but now you want to weasel out of it?” Joyce laughed. “I never said I wanted to stop; but we aren’t even gonna be here for a full 24 hours?” Joyce was bringing a few bundles of clothes over to the dresser. “That’s true, but you’d be surprised how just unpacking can make a hotel room feel a bit more like home?” And not to mention comfort objects as well, hence why Joyce couldn’t imagine a single trip that involved Emily now without bringing Pip. And the way Joyce saw it as well, she had coaxed and begged Emily into coming to this tonight. She owed it to her to make this a fun and comfortable night. “Does it?” Emily snickered with a small bit of disbelief. “Maybe it does, guess I’ve never been in a hotel long enough to unpack though.” She finished her complaints as she put away two shirts she’d likely never wear while they were here. “Well if you don’t, I will.” Joyce playfully turned her nose up as she moved her last few bundles over. “Could you please get me something from the fridge? I haven’t had anything to drink in a bit.” “Kay,” Emily hopped off the bed and started walking, but stopped for just a second. “Wait, would the fridge even be stocked?” “Usually all fridges are?” Joyce questioned back. “You’ve never been to one that is?” “Maybe mini-fridges...” Emily recollected on the tiny cubes she was aware of, but not the home-grade size that this spacious suite had. “I’m sure it has snacks too, so pick out some good ones.” Joyce added. “One each for us, got it?” She called as Emily was already gone. Finally something clicked for Emily in this high-end hotel. The expensive suite, massive rooms and presence of rich folk were entirely beyond and above her. Living the high-life only seemed to reach her when it was a step-up from her usual, not a leap and a hop. Thus, getting to raid the hotel fridge without caring about the price was what spoke to Emily. This is how she knew she’d made it. Lined with water, sparkling ciders, a few alcohols and juices, everything looked absolutely amazing. What’s more, there was no piece of cardboard waiting inside as a “courtesy” to let you know that you were about to be gouged by overpriced drinks. Was it all free? Did it come with the suite? Small questions lined with just as small prices to read as insignificant. It was silly, yet somehow this meant the most to her because it was the easiest luxury to understand and appreciate. In her much smaller world of finance, this was a tangible prestige. Out came a bottle of water and juice, followed by some kind of cracker and protein bar. “Think fast!” Emily shouted as she lobbed the protein bar. Joyce caught it unfazed, yet nearly missed the following crackers, then yelped as she defenselessly let the water bottle fall in her lap, then...just about screamed once an entire Emily came last. “You’re gonna crush the snacks!” Joyce laughed as she wrenched the cold water bottle from underneath her bundle, gingerly laying it on the nape of Emily’s neck. “S-stop! Stop!” Emily cried as she wriggled forward and free. “Is this how you’re gonna be all night, huh?” Joyce grinned as her fingers wobbled and waved, closing in on the girl like voracious tendrils. “No! Please!” She laughed with wet eyes as Joyce’s talons sunk into her sides, dancing to and fro as they lightly brushed underneath her shirt and atop her skin. She was coaxed into an infectious wail of giggle, but just as it came so did it stop, or was muffled by a hand over her mouth. Joyce was trying to choke down a laugh of her own, still with a helpless smirk as she held her hand over Emily’s mouth. Thankfully the tickling stopped, and Joyce finally released her a second later. “Sorry, I forgot we can’t make as much noise in the hotel...” Joyce sheepishly chuckled. Only then did it click for Emily that they had to be a little more conscious of themselves.Home and however it was designed afforded them the privacy for their sounds, never seeming to have much of an issue. Here it was different. There was yet to be anyone with scornful expressions or neighbors beneath them to complain, yet it didn’t take a person to make Emily feel embarrassed. “S-sorry...” Emily did apologize with remorse, even if it was arguably Joyce’s fault. “Don’t be,” Joyce giggled as she stroked her hair. “I like when you’re playful. I should have remembered that we can’t be super noisy earlier.” “Don’t make up excuses for me...” Emily pouted. “I should’ve known too...” And almost immediately Joyce accepted the momentum of her unneeded apology and flipped the script completely. “You’re right,” she frowned, “you should have. I can’t believe you didn’t know any better!” Emily was too well-versed by this point, or at least had the mental strength this time to see it coming and know that it was another act to talk her out of her own self-conscious thoughts. With the roll of her eyes and crinkling plastic packaging from their snack, they enjoyed their remaining downtime with wonderful bliss. “You promise you won’t leave me?” Emily asked for the umpteenth time as she leaned from foot to foot in her very short heels. “I promise, I won’t.” Joyce repeated as she had for every other time she’d asked, although with just as much patience in her voice as there’d been since the start. She stood much more confidently in her slightly taller heels. “We’ll find something banana-flavored once we get up there. I’m sure there’s lots of food being put out already.” She said soothingly “Don’t say that...” Emily whined. “You make it sound like I need one to calm down...” “Need what?” Joyce gave her a clueless look. “A paci--!” Emily started to respond, but the smile from Joyce spoke volumes. “Ha-ha...funny.” “Sorry, I did want to hear you say it...” She sounded apologetic, but it was still fun to hear. “Guess we’re a bit more on the same page, huh?” “Guess so...” Emily found it even hard to joke as her murmurs drifted toward one of the elevator walls. “How many people are gonna be here?” “More than a couple...” Joyce gave her a sympathetic smile as she circulated her thumb across the girl’s palm. “We’re gonna have to do a little socializing at the start. Don’t overthink things, alright? Just be yourself?” “If I was myself, they’d probably think I don’t belong here...” Emily spoke with a seed of pessimism as she dreaded the coming moment more and more. “Don’t say that...” Joyce started to chastise, but the elevator had reached their destination. Almost immediately their small, silent space had been assimilated into the distant yet growing chatter of voices and orchestral music. Emily wasn’t shy of crowds, per say, only the ones composed of an entire socioeconomic class she’d hear about in the news rather than see face to face. Yet that came as a stretch when Emily was sharing too much of her forward vision with the floor. “We gotta get off the elevator now, okay?” Joyce spoke gently, yet somehow her voice traveled so clearly through the noise. “Mhm...” Emily nodded, no less anxious as she squeezed her partner’s hand a little tighter. Their feet moved across the checkered tile floor, cleanly polished and shined, laced with just enough fog to obscure the reflection. A staff member in a clean red vest with a tablet in hand quickly and deftly seemed to admit guest after guest past the triple array of wooden glass doors. “W-wait, what if I’m not on the list?” Emily tugged on Joyce’s hand with irrational worry. “You’re my plus one; you don’t need to be,” Joyce hushed her as they drew closer and closer. Beyond the entrance Emily could see pockets of empty space ahead, surrounded by many heads in suits and dresses. Beyond that were tall arching windows that exposed the night sky. Not a star could be seen though, drowned out by the flood of light from the city which they were in. Even when so high up they couldn’t seem to escape the clutches of industrial capitalism. But of course, there was irony attending a party that hosted the many hearts of it. “Joyce Summers?” Joyce’s voice startled Emily out of her distant observations. She looked confusedly at her girlfriend, only realizing with warm cheeks that she was giving her name out to the staff member. “...Yes,” he finally said with a smile. “Right here. Have a great night.” He gave both Joyce and Emily a polite smile as Joyce led her into the spacious dance hall. Spacious supposedly, as so much of it had already gone to the endless party-goers. Amidst the crowds there were staff calmly patrolling the party, all with some kind of platter in hand, either dressed in filled glasses, interesting hors d'oeuvres, or empty leftovers from the many guests. Yet what was the entire mass this network of employees navigated through were the guests themselves. Many looked to be sitting at tables, yet just as many also stood about, drinks in hand, conversing amongst cliques of social elites. Naturally, Emily didn’t want to go any further, yet Joyce submerged them without hesitation, caring not to even dip a toe just to see how the water felt . “Doesn’t something sweet sound great right about now?” Joyce chatted with her as they moved wherever she intended them to go. Emily helplessly shrugged, albeit appreciative for the words regardless. Just from standing next to so many people it was like they’d sucked the social lifeforce out of her already. But just to hear Joyce, it reminded her that she was still alive and breathing. “Joyce Summers!” A sudden voice stopped them in their tracks; a man had stepped in front of their path, whether by coincidence or something else. “How’ve you been?” “Tom Fender,” Joyce put on her rehearsed smile as she tried to come off as cheery. “Great to see you, too. I’ve been well, and you?” “Great as always,” his shiny whites came right back. Emily continued to stay quiet. Their use of full names felt odd despite their positive tones; possibly a custom amongst financial titans who readied to trade blows. “Good to hear...” Her eyes started drifting on higher priorities. “Uhm, I hate to cut this off, but would you mind if we found each other in just a little bit? We got here so late...I hate to admit it, but if it meant I could eat, I was ready to buy out an entire restaurant on the way here!” It didn’t even sound close to a joke to Emily, much rather an awkward statement with exclamation. Yet somehow the man in turn was chuckling nonetheless. Ah. A joke that I’m too poor to understand. “No, no, I get it completely,” he laughed. “The food here does all look very good. See you around!” Joyce gave a small wave as the leash on Emily’s hand became taut once more. “Who was that…?” Emily asked in a quiet voice. “Hm?” Joyce sunk a little beneath the noise as her once again genuine smile occupied the girl’s entirety. “Sorry, it’s a little hard to hear you.” “Who...” Emily hesitated and considered dropping the matter entirely, lest she wate all this time over an unimportant question. “Who was that?” She tried to speak up. “Oh, him?” Her moment of visible interest was killed almost immediately. “Pharmaceuticals. I see him about maybe two to three times a year. Not much to tell, but he’s a stubborn guy, I’ve heard. You’re doing great, by the way!” “We just got here, I haven’t done anything...” Emily said in a low voice once more as they continued reaching the other end of the hall. Finally, beyond all the people and through the crowd Emily could finally start to smell the food. Once they emerged, it was a long banquet table of fine silver platters and ornate dishes, mini fountains, tiered displays of never-ending varieties of interesting and delicious looking foods. Finally, Emily had her own glimmer in her eyes. “Wanna eat?” Joyce grinned at her. “Is...can we take whatever we want?” She earnestly asked. Becoming a glutton wasn’t her intent, but she still wanted to sample so many different things… “Yes, but let’s take it slow,” Joyce planned to indulge her from the start, but she worried too much coddling might lead to some kind of upset. After all, she didn’t want her going to bed with a tummy ache. Again, despite all the lavish displays, the massive hall and no less the very establishment it was held in, what spoke to Emily the most were the much smaller, comprehensible details. Stacks of plates and silverware weren’t just at the very end of the banquet table! Multiple stations all along just to break up the traffic and keep everything moving. Maybe it was spurred by logistics and not a “rich people” sort of thing, but Emily was more than willing to fool herself with the fantasy regardless. Joyce reached first for their plates. While she had her eyes on the larger dinner meal kind of plates, instead she disappointedly watched as two considerably smaller ones were plucked from the adjacent stack. “It’s not a one-and-done kind of thing...” Joyce quietly reminded her, finding the subtle look on her face clear as day. It wasn’t, which is why Emily was willing to compromise. Now came the much more important task of finding the right first dishes to sample. The saying of the world being your oyster couldn’t apply more than ever in that moment. If it had to be tweaked though, the world would be your dinner for the night. Sandwiches, sushi, pastas, curries, soups, salads, desserts, chocolate fountains, fruits, flatbreads, things in trays, cuts of meat, and so many more things that Emily couldn’t put a name nor a memory to. It felt like she saw more things she couldn’t recognize than could. Joyce made sure her steps were in sync with Emily’s. She always stayed right behind her, truly with a watchful eye like any honest mother would. “Joyce Summers!” “Ms. Summers!” “How is the company?” “Let’s have dinner sometime?” “Are you interested in some inside info?” Yet as Joyce watched her adorable little girl become so lost in the simple pleasures she enjoyed best, her own face couldn’t go unnoticed by the countless others in attendance. Maybe some were being friendly, but business had taught her to recognize any kind of approach as a pretext to just that; business. “Good to see you Howard.” “Is your wife doing well, McKinley?” “Figures are good; optimistic for the next quarter.” “Reach out to my secretary, I’m sure we can figure something out.” “It never hurts to listen?” But unfortunately, the mama bear had lost her touch, if for just a moment. Turning her gaze back, she’d managed to let Emily get a few steps too many ahead of her, and would luck have it, a stranger stepped right in between them. “E--” Before even the first syllable could leave her mouth, apparently the stranger wasn’t a complete stranger. “Joyce, great to see you!” They were already trying to converse. They also hadn’t inherently done anything wrong, yet Joyce felt herself suppressing a pissy look. Instead, she allowed herself a tiny exhale through her nostrils as she smiled. Just a quick conversation, Emily won’t be far... Back in rose-tinted paradise, Emily found her own game of Tetris as she tried so desperately to find all the best pieces and simultaneously fit them in the tiny field she was given. Though, with how she dawdled and found herself so hung up on what wouldn’t be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but instead a many-in-an-hour kind, she was a little surprised she wasn’t getting an earful from Joyce behind her. But then again, Emily did have the sense to figure Joyce was likely easing her pace just a little, just so she could feel comfortable. “What do you think looks good?” Emily asked Joyce who was presumably behind her. Turning her head as she said it though, it was like a deer caught in headlights when Joyce was nowhere to be seen. Instead, some other woman was beside her, minding her own business as she looked for food as well. Yet Emily’s words were so directed that the stranger gave her a glance like it was meant for her. “Uh-m, sorry, I thought someone I knew was...” Emily bashfully tried to explain, but her mind was already being overtaken by the absence of Joyce. Where did she go? She promised she’d stay with her the whole time, didn’t she? Already the modicum of comfort she was feeling from Joyce like a thin veil had been vaporized immediately. Her brows creased as she hesitated with every step she took. Amidst a sea of people standing taller than her made the task of finding Joyce seem impossibly insurmountable. Was she supposed to stay put until she was found, or go search for her? As her stressed hands clutched the ceramic edges of her plate, instinctively the trouble inside her only swelled when she didn’t feel the squish of Pip, or anything with some give to accept her frustrations. Every way she looked was either the back of a stranger or the face of an unknown. Keep it together...she’s here somewhere… Yet despite her rational mind she was raw and vulnerable, God forbid if one of these people tried to talk to her. She’d be a blubbering mess; they’d find out she didn’t belong. She was an outsider, an imposter. The only excuse she had to be here was Joyce, and without her she was nothing more than a benign tumor hogging the floorspace. She didn’t stare at the food anymore as she nervously followed the banquet table to the very end. Her steps were slow and almost wobbly. Coordination wasn’t necessary, not when she needed to brainpower to look out for Joyce. Getting lost shouldn’t mean anything, yet being alone in a sea of capitalist sharks seemed to shift that perspective. So much for having practice at the zoo. The feeling in her chest only tightened once beyond the thinning crowd she found the tallest attendee at the party; a wall. What now? Emily was needless to say, at a loss for what she should do. Wait, her phone! That’s right! Already she was pivoting on her heels, looking for a spot to set her plate of food down. She felt ridiculous now. It was just a matter of calling her… So much for feeling like an actual lost child. She couldn’t see a good spot, other than the many tables that were already dotted with strangers. But as she looked, the desire to search quickly dried itself up. Emily’s memory was feeling keener by the moment. So keen, that she dutifully remembered as well that there was no phone to use. No phone on her person, anyway. Sitting right where she left it back at the hotel room. Her face scrunched up a small bit as she remembered, thinking of how it wouldn’t be necessary to bring. Joyce would’ve had hers, after all… She wanted to sit down, crouch even, just to give herself a grounded place to decompress. But she couldn’t do that, not here. Not at a five-star hotel, not in front of a bunch of prestigious people, and not in her special dress. This sucked. It all sucked. She didn’t want to be here. She only came because Joyce wanted her to, so where did she go? Emily just wanted to go back to the hotel room. At least Pip was there. But what sucked the most? Crying. Since she began her relationship with Joyce that’s what seemed to be the unexpected dark horse. They didn’t keep secrets from each other, so emotions no less couldn’t be hidden. Whenever she’d start to get herself in a mood, there Joyce was, tearing it all down just to come inside to make her feel better. It was great, obviously. But on the other hand, she was feeling slightly out of practice when it came to solidifying her emotions. Things were harder to bottle up, harder to compose. Taking rhythmic breaths and long inhales though, she was somehow managing. You’re fine...you’re okay. Joyce will find you. Just stay put and it’ll be okay… “Excuse me?” Just keep breathing...you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe snack a little on the food… “Uhm...miss?” Emily shivered like an electrical shock had hit her as her gaze fixated on the person right in front of her. For the sake of appearances she held back a frown. It wasn’t Joyce. And because it wasn’t, her nerves seemed to become all the more worse. “Are you...alright?” He asked. Emily’s eyes were all over the place, following around the navy blue threads of his suit jacket or through the stripes of his tie. Whenever her eyes seemed to be near the man’s though, she didn’t have the nerve to commit. What was she supposed to do?! She wasn’t ready for this, she couldn’t afford to speak with others here. If they find out she’s with Joyce after what a piss-poor person she’ll inevitably make herself out to be, it’s going to be at her benefactor’s expense! Her breath wavered as she stumbled a response. “H-...Hi...” By the warmth in her face, Emily had a sneaking suspicion what she may have looked like to others right then, and seeing only a wordless blink from the stranger seemed to suggest that. “Are you okay…?” He asked once more as his head turned back to the rest of the party. Damn it. Of course she looked out of place. Emily nodded her head, trying to look cheerful, as well as conversational. “Y-yes. I’m just waiting for someone...” “Alright then...” He said, but didn’t leave. “I noticed you’ve been over here for a few minutes,” he made a motion with his finger behind his shoulder. “If you’d like, there’s a couple seats where my friend and I are? You’re more than welcome?” A decision. Emily’s world truly was crumbling. She could refuse and remain to be the awkward wallflower for as long as Joyce was nowhere to be found. Not only that, but make it seem that she spit in this man’s face in exchange for continuing to be a fly on the wall. Yet if she accepted, there would be the monumental task of keeping conversation with these titans and assuredly outing herself as some generic, normal person. It was a lose-lose in Emily’s dramatic eyes, so it was merely the lesser of two evils. “Is that okay?” He chuckled before turning on his heel. “Of course it is! Come on; I’m guessing you want a place to eat, anyway?” Great, now she looked like a glutton to others even at first glance. She wordlessly followed the man back into the crowd, sending a silent prayer that somehow Joyce will find her. This was nothing like the zoo. All the animals this time had no cages and there were no landmarks to find each other. They were in the jungle and Emily had already become prey. She stayed close behind the man’s back as they weaved through the crowd. Out of habit she kept her head down, only following the back and feet in front of her before reaching a clearing, nearly bumping into her supposed savior once they came to a stop. “You didn’t bring a bottle?” A woman said with a tinge of impatience. Was it coyness? Emily couldn’t tell, but Emily was so out of it that her head shot forward with a startle, forgetting social cues to realize that it wasn’t her that was being talked to. “That’ll be your turn then,” he sighed as he set down a half-filled wine glass in front of her. “‘Bring me a drink’ is awfully vague, you know...” “It would seem so.” She said back, seeming to imply that she still wasn’t at fault. It was his mistake for not reading any deeper. Emily remained silent, stiff as a board, unaware of how to broach the situation or whether she still needed to be introduced. Did the upper class work the same way as kings and queens? Do not speak unless spoken to? “Well, better than a bottle,” Emily felt a hand pat her half-naked shoulder. “Found someone to help me keep you entertained.” “Oh?” The interest in her voice was clear, and so was her gaze, even if Emily was too nervous to look at it. “What’d you say to her? She looks like we’re about to eat her.” “She seemed sort of nervous when I found her. Waiting on her friend.” Emily could hear the low sigh from the woman’s breath. “Stop talking like she’s not her own person. Hon?” Of all things, it had to be a pet name that garnered her attention. Out of reflex she did look ahead at the woman. She was pretty. In Emily’s book Joyce was always number one, but this woman was a close second. Her ginger hair was tied back into some kind of intricate bun and the deep freckles on the bridge of her nose looked like the count of people she’s stared down into a submission match. “I’m Rebecca, it’s nice to meet you,” she smiled in a way that felt like a test. She was gauging the poor girl. But for what? “I-I’m Emily, it’s nice to meet you.” Her response was nearly robotic. She didn’t have the confidence to speak off the cuff. Not in a place like this. “I-I don’t want to bother you guys; I can always go back and--” “Why?” Rebecca frowned, interrupting her so smoothly. “You’d rather be by yourself than sit with us?” The sudden twist of her words incited a small panic. “N-no, it’s not that, it’s--” “Ah, I see. You have better people to be with?” “No, that’s not...” Normally Emily would be frustrated by the woman’s curt behavior, but somehow she was only looking distressed. Everytime she tried to find her footing through words, this person seemed to casually sweep her right off her feet. “Rebecca,” the man found his timing much better when it came to interruptions. “Quit teasing her. Just because you hate these things doesn’t mean you have to lash out. Drink already.” The woman seemed to be so animated in the most subtle ways. Emily watched her eyelids droop as her gaze slightly narrowed, as if agitated by the man’s gaul to even think of challenging her. Yet like it was all a game, her mood immediately vanished as she went back to being a resting predator, sipping from her glass. “Fair enough...” She looked away as she said it. “Sorry,” he apologized to me, “Emily, was it? My name is Hank, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for a shake, and Emily was so frazzled that she nearly went to shake with a plate of food still in both hands. Quickly realizing her mistake with a blush, she finally committed herself by setting the plate down on the table before shaking. “Nice to meet you...” “Did the host come by at all, yet?” Hank asked Rebecca who seemed to be boredly playing with her glass of wine. “Not sure...” she sighed. “Walked around, chatted a little. I’m feeling ready to head back home, already.” “Mm...” Even Hank nodded as he sipped from his own wine. “Well, appearances and all...” It must have been a mutual agreement, because Rebecca didn’t say anything back. “Uhm...” Emily started to speak, yet her throat seemed to close entirely once both faces gave her attention. Great. She poked the bear and for some inexplicable reason expected it to stay sleeping. “Is it just you two sitting here…?” There were only a couple of empty chairs, but two to a single table was still a low number. “Yep,” Hank nodded, though glanced at Rebecca who was with a pissy pout sort of look, already expecting the man to look at her. “Unfortunately we have a bit of a bully at our table, so we’re unpopular at the moment.” “Oh shut it,” Rebecca frowned the smallest bit, yet all the expression seemed to happen from her eyes and up. “Rebecca’s very...strong-willed, as you can see.” Hank whispered to me with a chuckle. The entire time Rebecca watched the exchange, knowing full well she was the topic. Emily would never in a million years say it aloud, but being somewhat bitchy seemed to be this woman’s personality… Lucky to have the few that could stand her and be around her. “So Emily, what brings you--” Hank started to say, but then… “Why bother with a question that has an obvious answer?” Rebecca cut him off. “Ask her why her boyfriend or husband brought her here. She has ‘plus one’ written all over her.” Plus one. The way Joyce had said it, Emily wouldn’t say she felt a charm, but it gave her some sort of fuzzy connection to Joyce in a small way. A fun little title. From Rebecca’s voice, it was a label. An inescapable brand that defined her clearly on the hierarchy amongst nobles. She’d been curtly kicked off the pedestal and back to the ground. It was only more damaging to her self-confidence. Had she thought there was even a chance at looking like she belonged, Rebecca’s bluntness paired with Hank’s gentle approach had shattered it entirely. Naturally, self-consciousness was the first thing to hit her bloodstream. “Is...is it that obvious?” Emily weakly asked Hank. He looked apologetic, but he didn’t disagree. “Not that it matters, though,” he was quick to say. “So in that case, what does your boyfriend do?” “Boy…?” Emily started to ask, feeling confused with the disillusioned mind that everyone in the world should already know she was smitten with a female, not a male. “Oh, uhm...my girlfriend, she has a medical company.” And there would be little to offer after that. It sucked knowing she couldn’t tell much about Joyce, not in the working sphere at least. Unfortunately Joyce had made it an effort to hide the bigger things from her, likely to prevent Emily from seeing her as anything but her sweet, motherly significant other. “Oh!” Hank had a slight tinge of guilt with his voice. “Sorry, we just assumed...” “Sorry about that.” Rebecca chimed in, possibly sounding genuine? “What do you guys do?” Emily asked, finally finding the courage to keep the ball rolling. “I manage a couple accounting firms,” Hank said ever so nonchalantly. “Nothing too crazy, but it has its perks. And just when she thought they were starting to seem like people, she’d been so graciously reminded of the gap. “I own a couple theatres.” Rebecca added to the conversation, just in case Emily wasn’t feeling dogpiled enough already. They weren’t being insulting (barring Rebecca’s attitude), but simply crushing her with facts. But in spite of that, Emily wanted to be brave. At least Rebecca had something tangible. “Oh?” She spoke up in turn, “That’s cool. How often do theaters swap out movies anyways? You probably get to see anything you want for fr--” “No, no,” Rebecca always managed to find a way to spearhead Emily’s gusto. “Not that kind of theatre. Musical productions. Plays. That kind.” “Oh...” Her reply was quiet, desperately trying to escape sheer embarrassment. Why couldn’t she have let her run away with sheer ignorance? “You could have elaborated?” Hank jumped in, throwing Rebecca’s feet on the coals now. “Quit being such a bully.” “I’m not being a bully.” Rebecca slightly averted her gaze at that. Conversation had only become a trap for Emily to make herself look even more foolish. In a twisted way it was like trying to sit at the grown-ups table. All the jargon and conversation went so far above her head that she could be disillusioned into thinking it was actually reachable. She had no reality that knew how to properly set herself apart from these people. Then came an audible sigh from the woman as she stood up from her seat. “Leaving already?” Hank seemed to ask, yet Rebecca somehow saw it as teasing once she shot him a glare. Storming off, Emily could only catch the sway of her dress as she disappeared. “Sorry about that...” Emily always seemed to feel the irrational need to apologize. If she was involved in any capacity she somehow always found fault in herself. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Hank apologized in turn. “Rebecca’s supposed to be a grown woman, would you believe it. But in all the time that I’ve known her, well, she’s not exactly great at playing nice with others...” “How long have you two known each other?” Accounting and theater management. By this point, Emily wasn’t even going to try and fool herself into thinking she could see the connection. “Before the adult working world,” he sipped from his glass, “Our parents sent us to the same private school. Skybrooke?” Emily nodded attentively, deeply invested with a catalog to reference the exact detail in mind. Smile and nod. What the hell is Skybrooke? “She has her...quirks, but she’s a nice person, deep down. But for her to me? I dunno. Maybe she finds me tolerable?” With the sign of a grin, Emily was at least glad to hear he probably wasn’t a doormat to that woman. And quirks she did indeed have many. “Here.” Were her first words of return. Outstretched from Rebecca’s hand to Emily was a wine glass, but not filled with wine. It was filled with a frozen treat, drizzled in a thin wisp of chocolate, capped with scalped strawberries accompanied by skinned and sliced banana. As Emily found herself at a loss, the helpful cue was whispered in her ear next. “Rebecca’s idea of an apology...” Hank helpfully said. “...Take it or don’t,” Rebecca seemed composed, yet she seemed...uncomfortable? “I don’t care.” A gift from a queen? Emily perplexingly stared at the treat. It did look good, yet everything about this exchange was weird. A grown adult was trying to make peace through the offering of a dessert. Before the moment became too dragged out, Emily slowly accepted the glass. It’d be considered quite rude to refuse the Queen’s gift, wouldn’t it? Rebecca stood there for a moment longer, to the point where Emily started to think she wanted her to prove her sincerity by eating it right then. Thankfully that wasn’t the case though once Rebecca finally did take her seat once more. With amends apparently having been made, Hank continued to mediate the flow of conversation as they slowly crept upon their original pace, which wasn’t much to begin with at all. “...but in the end I guess it never really...” Hank was going on with his story about another financially unrelatable situation when his head started to follow something in the background. “What?” Emily tried to follow where his eyes went as infectious curiosity mandated. “...Nothing.” He shrugged. “Thought I recognized someone. If your girlfriend hasn’t told you already by the way, these dinner events are usually about the social aspect. Keeping everyone fresh in each other’s minds. A lot can be inside baseball, too.” “She did sort of say something like that...” Emily tried to reflect, but not for long until Rebecca’s glossy nails rhythmically tapped the cloth tabletop. “We use our words when we’re ready for another drink, you know...” Hank jokingly gave her the side-eye. “What?” Rebecca seemed to snap out of her trance then glance at her empty glass. “Sure, yes. I’ll take another glass.” “With a ‘please’?” He added a slight stretch to his voice just to prolong the teasing. “Red. The same bottle as the last,” she seemed to shoo him off without another look. And again, fate seemed to draw them together as Emily accidentally met Rebecca’s gaze from the other side of the table once more. “Bring Emily some, too.” Rebecca ordered her friend? “Same for you, Emily?” Hank paused to patiently ask her. “Uh…?” The hesitation in her voice was obvious. She hadn’t planned on drinking; this sort of thing was far too stressful for that. But...it was a weird time to take stock of things, yet in that moment all it felt like was sitting around with two decent friends. Maybe it was Rebecca’s gross immaturity or her snobbiness that made it all feel so unreal. An unsociable, unintentional bully who went red in the face as soon as her feet touched the coals. Then again, if she ordered a drink for Emily, was she starting to become part of “the gang” now? “Yes...please.” Screw it. Emily could fabricate a whole list of reasons for needing a drink right then. “Such manners!” Hank pretended to praise, albeit not to tease Emily, especially evident by the coy smile he gave Rebecca who only seemed to return a look of ire. “Be right back.” Hank was gone. “Your girlfriend really must be quite the busy body to misplace you so easily,” Rebecca passively commented. “I don’t suppose we should turn you into the lost and found?” Finally she smiled for once in the entire night Emily had been with her...even if it was by way of teasing. “Yeah, maybe...” Emily sighed, choosing to pass on the bait or instead regard it as unintentional mockery. But really, where was Joyce? The smallest amount of air started swelling in her mouth, favoring to push out her left cheek. “Karla, I’m glad to hear that things are going well,” Joyce cheerily nodded. She’d given this person exactly one minute of her time. Plenty. Generous, even. She should be grovelling for the saint that Joyce was; allowing such important seconds to slip through her fingers into the mediocre unimportant hands of others. “But, say...” She began, glad to be finished with useless talks of investment and prospecting. Who cared about the first ever hover car or working jetpacks? Did she think world hunger mattered more than Joyce’s own dilemma? “You wouldn’t happen to have seen a smaller girl around here, would you?” She maintained her bubbly inquisitive voice, internalizing all the annoyance and agitation every living obstacle seemed to be here. “Smaller?” Karla smiled, awaiting further explanation. “Black hair? Green eyes?” A bottom so round and so cute that it was a crime not to keep it padded? “She’s in a red dress?” Unfortunately not paired with a child leash. That’s the problem with jokes; they’re only jokes. She shook her head, the conniving bitch, so eager to waste Joyce’s precious time. “Sorry, can’t say that I have…Why, find yourself someone you wanna goad into a venture?” Karla started her laugh first, which Joyce did the same in unison, only she was already turning away, well-ready to punch the woman. Where is she?! I take my eyes off her for a single minute…! A business dinner much like Hank said is a chance for socializing and business dealings and opportunities. A chance for the rich to stay rich and perpetuate the inevitable lining of each other's pockets. During any business dinner at any time in Joyce’s life, she would not have hesitated to agree. That’s what these things are. That’s what they’ve all been for. But not tonight. Not this one. Instead, it’d become Joyce’s personal hell, having thrown her precious girl into a pit of lions that all have the audacity to feign ignorance as she tirelessly searches for which one ate her! She was supposed to be holding her hand the entire time...Why didn’t she just hold Emily’s plate for her? Tell Emily to point out the things she wanted? Christ! Why couldn’t these stupid events have a chaperone or something, or maybe an on-site police officer? This dance hall has speakers, so why wasn’t she hearing the call for a lost chi-- adult? What’s more, Joyce was acutely aware of Emily not having her phone. As much as Joyce was ready to shout aloud for Emily, even she had her own warped way of thinking that simultaneously felt the need to dote on Emily so heavily, yet maintain an outward appearance. Yes, it was twisted, and yes, Joyce was aware. As Joyce fought the raging battle inside herself, she could only assume that Emily was okay. What if she was crying? What if a stranger was talking to her? Wait, no, that’s normal at an event like this… But not for Emily! They’re all strangers! Find her! Find her! “Joyce, is that you?” A voice called. She spun on her heel with a trained smile. “Leonard, so good to see you!” A bubble rose in her chest with a fierceness, only for it to sputter out of her mouth as a sudden hiccup, throwing her entire torso forward. Where was she? Emily was slumped forward as she barely supported her head, chin resting in both hands. Rebecca herself still looked focused, yet her heavier blush likely spoke more of the alcohol in her system than any kind of embarrassment that could be found in the prideful lioness. “Sheesh late...” Emily slurred grumpily with a pout. She was no timekeeper, yet she was certain that exactly too-much-time-o’clock was certainly a bad time to not have shown up by then. Emily had done her job. Stay put. What had Joyce done? Who knows, but clearly it wasn’t good enough. “Just to let you know, I...” Rebecca seemed to lose her speech, finding the fuel needed with a final sip from her glass. “...I’m going to be charging for babysitting you so much tonight...” “Shaddup...” Emily groaned, too far from sober to remember formalities, not that either two drunk women seemed to care. “I’ll pay Hank...” She muttered as her head finally dropped with her hands, nuzzling into her forearm. Apparently alcohol was no caffeine stimulant. Not even adult beverages could save her from her hard limits. Quite easily the festivities of the night had gone beyond a time she was comfortable being awake at. “Alright...” Hank finished off his wine as he stood from his chair, commendably without a stumble of any sign. “Let’s go, you two. Before any of us are too intoxicated to get back to our rooms.” “Screw you...” Rebecca suddenly blurted aloud with her eyes not even remotely aimed at Hank. Her eyes widened with surprise only known to the inner workings of her drunk mind as she shocked herself into a laughing fit. “A-huh...” Hank waved off the words as they should have been, raising Rebecca from her seat with ease as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “You have your room key, right?” “F-....ffffuck you...” She murmured in her own headspace yet again, laughing loud enough to get a few momentary stares. “Really?” Hank still remained unimpressed. “I never get you to laugh, but all it takes is to be drunk and be the butt of your jokes...” He maneuvered his charge with him around the table. “Emily, can you get up? C’mon, I’ll take you back to your room. I’m taking Rebecca back, so I’ll take you too.” “No.” Emily meant to say it adamantly, yet it was more of a pout. “I’hm waiting for Joyce...She…” And for some reason she started to sniffle. “She said she wouldn’t leave me…!” The sad drunk started to whimper, bleeding into the personality of a stubborn toddler. “And she’ll be happy as can be once she sees you back at your room. Do you remember your room number? We’ll get you there.” “Mhm...” Emily nodded as she was already standing. So much for the crying fit about staying. Rebecca seemed to need a more hands-on approach as Hank continued to be firm with a grip on her waist. Emily stayed quiet, although holding Hank’s other hand as he led them through the crowd. Had she been of a sober mind, Emily would have certainly been upset, yet would have been forgiving once Joyce did finally see her. Instead of that, all she felt was the cloudy dread of being a poor doe unaccounted for. She wanted Joyce right then. This sucked. She somewhat had fun tonight, even if Rebecca was a pain at first, but the only thing that could solve her unease was getting back to Joyce. “Emily, what’s your floor?” Hank asked the quiet, daydreaming girl. “Fifteen...” She murmured as clear as can be, backed by zero confidence. It was a crapshoot trying to guess the floor even on a sober moment, much less one where half her brain seemed to function. Why fifteen? Because fifteen felt...like a number. Hank punched the number without question on the panel. Up they went. Once they reached the floor with a ding Emily stepped off first. Hank started the process of moving Rebecca who looked even more lurched over, only until she seemed to drag Hank’s suit jacket downard with all her body weight. “Rebecca...” Hank sighed as he stood in an awkward stance, trying to get her upright. “We can’t walk like this if you’re gonna--” A short-breathed grunt escaped Rebecca’s mouth. “G-gonna...” And as the words left her, so did her bile, reaching Hank’s ears as well as the substance reaching his pants did. Rebecca’s arms hung over her head as she was nearly ninety degrees bent over. Hank barely managed to hold her up as his face shuddered in surprise and disgust. “R-Rebecca...!” He cried at a sheer loss, well-conscious enough to know the pointlessness in scolding a drunk. “What the fu--!” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before the elevator doors closed. Emily stood there dumbly in the hallway, a place her room did not belong to, now separated from the other two. As she looked around the empty hallway, she scantly remembered why she even asked for the fifteenth floor. Was that the floor of their home back in the complex? Who knows. Too drunk to remember. She needed fresh air. It was too stuffy. It was hot… Opting for a different elevator, back down to the lobby she went. Thankfully her heels were short. They were like training heels compared to the ones she saw Joyce in. Emily could almost get away with normal footsteps, though needing to invest a slight bit more care in the way she walked, but thankfully within the means of her impaired mind. Her feet clicked across the mostly empty lobby, yet seeming to be a place of internationals and big business, there was always something going on, whether it be check-outs for an international flight, or check-ins for the exact same reason. She found a cozy bench beside the glass windows, sitting right near the entrance and exit as well as in front of the water fountain. Listening to the calming gush of water, leaning her head against the cool glass. It was nice. “Check her out...” A distant voice chuckled. “Think she had a good night?” He sounded as if he was speaking to someone beside him. “Oh, you’re right...Is she okay?” “Probably sleeping off a drink? We sort of do the same thing.” “Yes, but not in the middle of a hotel lobby; we should do something...” “I’m sure she’ll be fine? ” “Greg, don’t say that...Look, I’ll make sure she gets back to her room. Meet you back up at ours? Someone’s gotta put our food in the fridge anyways.” “You got it, boss woman.” It sounded like a salute as one walked farther away while a lighter set of footsteps came closer. Emily was dreamily dozing, half-asleep and half-awake, though she began to lose the former state of mind as a hand touched her shoulder. Emily hadn’t even the clarity to assume she was in danger or being assaulted as she lazily stirred and opened her eyes. “Hello?” A blurry face slowly set into sharpness. Emily needed to blink a few more times just to get things into focus. “What…?” Emily seemed to muster so casually despite them being a stranger. Maybe Rebecca’s interaction seemed to have desensitised her to new meetings. And just as things remained visually unknown for just a tinge longer, deep down, of course she hoped that it was Joyce. “Are you okay? Can you stand?” They asked her. “Are we going back up to the room…?” Emily murmured as she rubbed her eyes. Paired with too much drinking, she wasn’t used to being up this late. “I can take you back to your room, yes. Do you remember which floor?” “You forgot, too?” Emily yawned. Joyce’s touch felt lighter than she remembered. It didn’t feel as hands-on this time. She had half a mind to shove herself into the hand just to get Joyce doing it the right way again. “Well, you never told me...” The woman said at a loss. Emily frowned a little. That didn’t sound like Joyce… She finally fully opened her eyes, looking over. It wasn’t Joyce. “You’re not...” Emily frowned. “I’m...not?” The woman confusedly blinked behind her glasses. “Listen, I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink. Why don’t we go ask one of the staff to help you--” “Can I use your phone…?” Emily suddenly asked in a state of tired delirium. “To call a friend…?” She cautiously asked. “If you give me a number I can dial it for you?” Emily went quiet, biting her lower lip. She forgot Joyce’s number...for whatever reason, it slipped her mind. Digits went in some places, while others felt jumbled and scattered. Why couldn’t she think straight? Where was Joyce? She hiccuped, but not because of alcohol this time. “W-wait, don’t cry. What’s wrong? Hey, can you talk to me?” The voice continued to coax, yet Emily was a mess. She took a long, drawn-out sniff as she’d gone from a moment of peace to complete confusion once again. Why did she even go down to the hotel lobby? For a moment of relaxation? How did this get her any closer to being back home? All she wanted was to be in bed right now. She wanted Joyce to find her. Why wasn’t she here yet? She always found her! “What’s your name, hon? Can you tell me that?” “E-Emily...” She rubbed her eyes. The chandelier above was too bright… Where was a pillow she could just smother her face with? “Okay, Emily, what’s the name of your friend? I can go ask one of the hotel staff.” How likely of a needle in a haystack that could be, though. Lord if Emily could give her a last name to narrow the search. “Joyce...” Emily mumbled. “Joyce S-Summer...s...” “Joyce?” The confirmation was more than just that. Something else, like surprise? Or disbelief? Emily thought she nodded, or gave some kind of murmur as an affirmation. Either way, no more questions came her way, so she assumed that the job on her part was done. “Ms.Summers…?” She spoke next to Emily, though not at her. To someone else. Was she on the phone? “I...yes, I understand...I...yes, but, I think I found who you’re looking for...” She pulled the phone away from her ear. “Emily?” She fished for her attention as she put the phone up against her ear. “Emily?” A slightly hastened voice came from the other end. “Emily? Are you there?” “Joyce?” She answered back. It had to have been her, unless this stranger was able to pick apart Emily’s memories to manifest the perfect doppelganger to ever exist. There was a heavy sigh of relief from the other end. “Thank goodness...Where are you? I’ve been looking everywhere for you all night!” “I’m in the lobby...” Emily tearily yawned. Was she coming to get her now? She really did feel like a lost child. The day had been long and exhausting. She was done doing the heavy lifting. “Don’t move an inch. I’m coming right now. Put Sheila back on, please.” Emily lazily swapped her head to the other shoulder. “She wants to talk to you...” Emily yawned. It was hardly even a thought in Emily’s mind as she heard the name. Sheila. Maybe she’d heard it before, maybe she hadn’t. Too hard to tell at the moment if it bore any significance. Was that this woman’s name? How did she figure out Joyce’s number? “Ms.Summers?” Sheila put the phone back on her ear. “Yes, I can wait here. I’ll watch her, yes. I’ll see you once you get down here. Yes, understood.” She soon hung up afterwards. Emily had closed her eyes once more, nearly falling over onto nothing as she leaned the other way. Sheila thankfully was faster and pulled her back over to her, unceremoniously slumping her onto her own shoulder. This was certainly awkward, maybe helped the slightest bit by a modicum of familiarity. This. This was the final piece to the puzzle. The hidden cog that drove the machine. The arbiter of her boss’ mood, what dictated her whims and generosity. What decides whether it’d be a good day or a bad day for the people in wake of Joyce’s wrath. She looked over at the tiny titan with an odd sense of interest, finally seeing with her own eyes the hidden hand she thought she’d never see. Little Miss Summers herself. In the flesh.

Emily and Joyce will be having a lot of fun together in that sphere, but I can't promise to what extent that goes. Guess we'll have to see. Thank you for the comment and staying so invested! Beach house could be fun! It's alright for readers to make predictions or share their thoughts, but I can't imagine myself confirming any theories, but at best maybe dissuade some of them; I don't want to create any false expectations. Hmmm, that's an idea! Surely Emily could make a new career out of that! Thanks for commenting! Glad to hear people enjoy re-reading this! New chapter is soon! Promise! 33 - The New Routine Bewildered was Emily’s first instinctual response. As she tried to figure what’d just happened, she caught her tongue absentmindedly probing the flavored teat inside her mouth. She stared at Joyce’s back in silence, watching her work away. Her hand drifted to the ring of the pacifier, dangling her finger on it for a moment before pulling it out. “If I’d known how well that worked on you, I think I would’ve kept your paci on me a bit more often?” Joyce grinned as she peered over her shoulder. Emily wasn’t sharing the giddiness though as confusion reigned king in her mind. “What...what’d you do?” “I did what you asked me to do. I helped. Well, starting to help is a better way to put it.” She didn’t respond at first, but a small frown grew on her face as she looked at the baby trinket hanging from her finger. Not that she didn’t appreciate the gesture, but it wasn’t that simple… “I...thank you; but I’m serious, Joyce… What am I supposed to do?” “You’re supposed to relax for tonight,” Joyce calmly instructed, “and listen to how we’re going to make things better. You asked for my help, Emily, and of course I will give it to you, but you’re going to need to be open-minded about this.” Emily tripped over some hesitation before she spoke. “Open-minded…?” That felt oddly vague. Vague enough to remind her of what things were like right as they were just starting to explore their “alternate” lifestyle. Joyce turned from the stove and rested her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “Nothing you haven’t seen before. Just wrapped in a new bow.” Obviously Emily couldn’t fully decipher the meaning, but a sixth sense told her that the dedicated trip to the nursery for a single pacifier wasn’t some arbitrary thing. Joyce could see her looking down at the pacifier with a feeling of trepidation. Joyce gently lifted her gaze with a finger supporting her chin. “Don’t be scared. I’m not going to say I’ve thought of everything; this is something I really only started to play with recently. That being said, I don’t think what we’ll do is something you’ll hate. It’s just going to be...different.” “Different…? Joyce, I don’t get what you mean...” Emily expressed her concerns in the form of visual, yet Joyce’s comforting smile did not falter. “We’ll chat about it once we eat dinner, okay?” She cupped Emily’s cheeks as she kissed her forehead. “I just think maybe there’s a way we can change up the routine, is all.” She lowered her hand to raise the one Emily was using to hold the pacifier. “Why don’t you hang onto this for now?” “Joyce...” Emily thought she could see what Joyce was implying, and it honestly felt like a diminutive fix. “I’m not an actual baby...you can’t just...” She sighed a tiny bit, realizing that she was starting to contradict the very person she begged for guidance. “Pacifiers don’t solve problems for real babies, too, you know?” Joyce giggled as she took it from her hand. “Pacifiers do exactly what they’re called. They pacify,” she explained as she gently forced it back between Emily’s lips. “If you’re angry, sad, or even a little excited, think of this as a way to distract yourself or maybe an outlet to channel all that emotion? Emily, nothing meaningful has ever been done in a single day. You’ve been working so hard since the first day you lost your job, and I can’t tell you how proud that makes me. But now I want you to just calm down...and breathe.” Emily wanted to speak, to contradict or express her doubts, but she felt that if this imaginary spell was going to work, maybe she should stay gullible for at least a little longer. She took a moment and breathed through her nose, leaving the pacifier right where Joyce left it. “See?” Joyce stroked the top of her head. “We just spent a whole minute calming down, focusing on ourselves rather than anything unimportant!” Joyce chuckled. “We’re still doing just fine. You’re doing fine. We still have our house, and everything is as stable as it’s always been.” Emily had furrowed her brow, yet admittedly the crease in her forehead had lessened. “And you look like less of a worrywart now, too.” Joyce smiled. “Emily, I will never make light of your problems. Your struggles are mine just as much, but I need you to know that this isn’t as all-consuming as you might think. If I have to pull you aside like this to remind you of that, I won’t hesitate, understood?” Emily instinctually wanted to reply, but reserved herself to a visual nod. She did feel calmer now. It was more than enough for Joyce. “Good. We’ll have plenty of time to brainstorm during dinner and I can voice my suggestions then. For the time being though, just try not to have too many big thoughts, okay?” She tapped her finger on the plastic shield. “This is your friendly reminder. Stay small for a little bit. We’ll tackle things as we need to.” It was with reddened cheeks Emily continued to help make dinner. It was a weird limbo situation though. She wasn’t exactly Emily, but not Emmy either. As she helped cook with a pacifier in her mouth, Joyce still seemed to regard her as her normal self, albeit with a little more comfort in her words, like Emily needing handling with kid gloves in regard to her emotions. “Howh mush lohnger?” Emily found herself asking around the pacifier. The sentence was finished before she could regret the attempt as a pacifier accent seemed to override her speech. “Should be just a few more minutes,” Joyce flashed her an unperturbed smile, like the sight or sound itself wasn’t especially stimulating to Joyce, of all people, in any seeming way. Emily figured there to be some kind of teasing or sly comment, but it never came. Maybe it was her way of being considerate, or how to treat this as some kind of normal. If I need this, she probably doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it… Emily silently reflected. “Okay...” Joyce decided to untie and slip her apron off. “Emily? Could you put these back in the closet?” She asked as she held the apron out for her. Emily quietly nodded as she took her own apron off, but not quite before Joyce could give her a hand in undoing the knot behind her first. After she pulled it off, Emily was then hit with a one-two as Joyce briefly rested her arms on Emily’s shoulders, gently tugging the pacifier from her mouth and planting a kiss on her temple. “Thank you for helping me cook!” “I can always help...” Emily said in a shy voice as she walked over to the closet. As they ate, Emily couldn’t bring herself to have much conversation. Joyce did chat casually, like there wasn’t some impending bomb Emily expected her to drop at any moment. “What’s wrong?” Joyce asked with a concerned look. “Wait...it doesn’t taste bad, does it?” A look of horror started to consume her. “No, it tastes fine...” Emily mumbled with a slight grin as she angled her gaze closer to the table than Joyce’s eyes. “I’m just...a little scared...” “Scared?” Emily nodded. “I dunno...” She looked more clearly at her, “I’m just thinking that whatever it is that’s gonna happen...I might not like it cuz...it’s gonna scare me...” Joyce nodded thoughtfully, yet with stupefying clarification she asked, “So you’re scared that this ‘thing’ will scare you?” Of course when repeated through another mouth, Emily felt stupid… “Emily,” Joyce left a moment to get her full attention, “I don’t necessarily think you should stop looking for work; if that’s what you want, I respect that. However, I think you need to slow down your pace.” It was a no-brainer, yet the thought of any kind of delay did make Emily worry. It only made her think of all the potential opportunities she could have had, had she been any faster. It was the fear of missing out. “How...how slow?” Emily hesitantly asked. She didn’t figure there was a specific number in mind, yet she needed to know how deep this went. With, in fact, a specific number in mind, Joyce said, “An hour a day at most, kind of slow. And that’s for the weekdays only. Weekends I don’t want you stressing over that kind of stuff.” “An hour…? But that’s...” Emily had an idea in mind, yet Joyce’s figure grossly underbid her own. She was already spending the near entirety of her day job searching, and cutting it down to a mere fraction of that was essentially killing her chances altogether, wasn’t it? “With how things have been, Emily, I think that’s perfectly reasonable.” Joyce said firmly. “I’m going to be honest because I want to make a point to you: there’s absolutely no rush in you getting another job. I intend to be the breadwinner and I will be the financial support. Aside from that though, I’d never stop you from doing what you want, but I will regulate it, now that you’ve asked me to?” She smiled, but Emily was still looking conflicted. Emily tried to reason Joyce’s viewpoint. It was somewhat unfortunate, but Emily had always known before Joyce saying it herself that she couldn’t ever hope to financially compare. Joyce was the foundation, and whatever Emily contributed in that sphere likely couldn’t do nearly as much. Or rather, money was such an excess for Joyce that the concept of spending had become effectively bottomless, so what did it matter adding 1 to infinity? “Related to that,” Joyce continued, “I think this is a good chance to add some structure to your routine. Just because you aren’t working, that doesn’t mean a day can’t be productive? First and foremost, we’re going to decide on a time in the day when you can use the computer to job hunt-- Emily, don’t make a face.” Joyce paused herself just to scold the girl, who was starting to make a face… “I don’t need a specific time…!” Emily argued with a tinge of whine. It was one thing to be imposed with a harsh time restriction, but when she was allowed for it as well? “Yes you do,” Joyce gently, yet firmly contradicted, “otherwise you could be overlapping with all the other things that’ll keep your day busy?” The mention of other things surprised Emily a little, but she sort of expected it… But still, “What happens if I get an email, or a reply to a job offer or interview? I need to respond as soon as possible!” While this was constructive and it felt needed, Joyce’d be lying if she said that there wasn’t some element of “parenting” to this that she felt, and certainly enjoyed. “We can discuss that when it happens,” Joyce decided, “But until then, I won’t budge.” Emily felt defeated. There wouldn’t be any room for argument in getting that to expand. It was probably going to be the one thing of this entire bill that she wouldn’t negotiate on, given it being her greatest grievance... “What else…?” She asked her. Joyce quietly sighed, now arriving to the parts she wasn’t a fan of personally. It was likely trivial to Emily, but Joyce wasn’t excited about sharing her responsibilities, at least with Emily. In a power dynamic that poised Joyce at the top as the dominant caregiver, it felt wrong to make her charge participate, like giving her housework. “I...want to give you some chores to do on a daily basis.” “Chores…?” Emily asked, surprised. Joyce nodded. “Things like running the dishwasher, making the bed...vacuuming...” Now her lack of preparedness was starting to show. This was obviously something she didn’t want to dig into because she didn’t like the idea altogether. Yet, the duality was that it benefited Emily despite Joyce’s selfish suffering. “I don’t mind,” Emily spoke truthfully, “but...are you okay with it?” “Yes, I am,” Joyce smiled warmly as she lied through her teeth. “We can make a chart,” she did start to see the fun side of things, imagining a cute chore chart for Emily on the fridge, “and that can help keep you busy for at least a little bit.” Call it weird, but Emily didn’t mind the idea of housework. She said it herself and quite clearly that it was eternal boredom without Joyce, as well as tiring from job hunting. Not that she wanted to stop, but she knew her body needed to rest; she just needed someone to force her into it. “I can vacuum the rooms and wash the bedding?” Emily chimed in, better shaping Joyce’s ideas. “Mhm, that could definitely work,” Joyce nodded. “Oh, and I guess I could tidy up the nurse--” “Absolutely not.” Joyce didn’t look so friendly this time, like one of her prized assets was about to be attacked. “I want to be the one in charge of the nursery; I’m your mommy, after all.” The seriousness in her look was almost absurd to the point that the uninformed would be expected to laugh, or find the look on her face quite strange. Emily, however, instantly understood just how much it meant to her. In a strange way, giving these sorts of duties to Joyce was a big step for her, oddly enough… “O...okay...” Emily nodded, seeing that she nearly crossed a line. “Everywhere but there?” Joyce paused, considering any loopholes she may have left. “That’s fine. But, let me know if any of this feels like it’s too much for you, okay?” Her expression softened. “I don’t want to overload you...” “Joyce,” Emily gave a look that thought her to be a fool, “Up until recently I was working full time...I can do some chores.” She chuckled. “I know, I know...” She smiled, happy to see that at least Emily could make mention of it now without sour feelings. “Is that it…?” Emily asked, not implying whether she wanted more or not, just wanting to know in general. “...” Joyce took a bite from her food first. “It can be?” “What do you mean?” “I’d say we’re past the point of me getting to make decisions based on what I want. Now I want to include you; what we both want.” For once, Emily felt like she could see a little into Joyce’s headspace. “You mean, something related to the pacifier?” Again, she didn’t think that it was an unrelated, out-of-the-blue sort of thing. Joyce nodded. “To be honest, I think it might help you out a little.” And like that, Emily had fallen off the wagon. “How so…?” “We haven’t even mentioned your nursery once in the past week, Emily.” Joyce tried to hide her own frustrations, because she knew that this would be good for her as well. Deep down though, this idea wasn’t out of complete self interest. “I know we’ve had obstacles in the past, but I really want to give you a space in the day where you can just unwind; forget about the complicated stuff and focus on relaxing.” “What about you?” Emily asked after a moment of silence. “I don’t want to talk about me because I don’t want it to influence you,” Joyce said, “I want you to be selfish, Emily.” What she wasn’t sharing were the benefits she’s reap from this as well. It wasn’t any secret to herself that Emily being in poor sorts lately has affected Joyce and her attitude at the office. Nothing jeopardizing, but more than anything she simply wanted their old dynamic back, if not toned up a bit. “How would that work…?” She asked hesitantly. “Well, I guess it’d start once I get home from work each day. Assuming that all the chores have been done by then, we’ll go to the nursery and get you all set up. For the rest of the night you’ll get to be my baby girl.” “What about in the morning, though?” Emily asked, already wondering what was to be done with her diaper. Joyce did leave early in the morning, after all. “I’ll make sure to get you into some panties before I leave,” Joyce chuckled, “I feel pretty confident that you’ll sleep through it anyway.” “Yeah, but, if we do it every day...doesn’t that mean I won’t ever have a chance to have…’grown-up’ time around you?” She most certainly didn’t like that. Being a baby was fun, but it wasn’t a complete end-all be all. She needed some kind of breathing room around Joyce. “You most certainly will. First and foremost, you’ll always be the one that decides if we’re going to do it that night. If you say ‘yes’, we go to your nursery, but if it’s a ‘no’, you won’t hear me mention it until the next day. Emily, even when you are my little girl, there’s nothing stopping you from asking or talking about what you want, you know? The way I see it, all we’re really doing is giving you a space that discourages that sort of thing, but it’s not like you can’t be yourself. This isn’t meant to be you putting on an act; I want this to be an outlet for yourself.” “It is,” Emily found herself agreeing almost immediately, “but...I dunno. Maybe too much of a good thing is a bad thing? I guess we haven’t really tried...” “Maybe, but if we might have those kinds of limits, this is a safe way for us to explore them. At any point you make it clear that you want to stop, we stop.” They ate some more as Emily took a deep breath, finally starting to fully wrap her head around everything. She didn’t expect this sort of thing to be the rest of her life, but she knew that it was going to be like this for at least a little bit. Her bias still couldn’t shake the urgency she felt to strive for “adult” things, but she finally caved and Joyce was telling her to stop, so stopping she ever so reluctantly was. “So it all starts tomorrow…?” She asked as Joyce started to clear up their spaces. “I think it’d be best,” Joyce offered, but added much more resolutely, “but regardless, your computer time is still being limited.” Emily limited her disappointment to her mouth as she nodded. In that case, tomorrow would go back to being the sucky status quo she’d already found herself in if there wasn’t anything at all to do. “Then let’s start tomorrow.” Emily agreed. “And about the second half we discussed,” Joyce explained as she came over to wipe Emily’s face in a casual manner, “you are always in control, and like I said, you always decide whether we’ll do it or not, but...please give me a gentle reminder if I accidentally get pushy after a while...” “You mean if we haven’t done it in a bit?” She asked, wiping the residue of water off her mouth. Joyce nodded with a slightly bashful look. “We’ve talked a lot about how I can sort of lose control, and I know you understand how I can get, but...it’s still sort of embarrassing.” “It’s okay if it happens,” Emily smiled, “I mean, I’d rather not be asked every few minutes, but if its been what you think is a long time, please let me know; I...I get it that this is supposed to be for me, but it’s obviously something for you, too.” Need she remind Joyce that she was the one who pulled her into the rabbit hole first? “That sounds good to me.” Joyce nodded her head. “I love you so much, you know?” “...I love you too.” Emily reciprocated with a goofy smile and reddened cheeks. It still elicited a fuzzy feeling in her chest just to hear and say those words. They came in together for a hug and embraced one another, yet as they shared an intimate moment, it was disrupted by a loud, sniffing. Emily turned her head up to see a flaring nostril. “Uh...what?” Emily giggled. “Uh huh,” Joyce seemed unimpressed, “thought so.” “Thought what?” “I thought that you didn’t take a shower or bath today.” The realization made Emily freeze up. She sniffed herself, not finding any sort of foul odor, but at least not a freshly imbued either. “I...was busy?” “You were distracted,” Joyce disapproved. “We’re adding baths to your schedule, too. Come on, off we go,” she waved her hand to motion Emily ahead first. “Showers are faster!” Emily complained with a sense of play, although she did feel a tiny bit embarrassed. “Showers are for big girls that can keep themselves squeaky clean. I need to take my time with you!” She laughed after catching Emily’s grin. “Besides, I wanna monopolize every second I can get with you!” They both entered the bathroom. Everything was at peace again as Emily and Joyce were dressed in their pajamas, sitting on the bed, specifically Emily in Joyce’s lap as she kept a towel wrapped around her head. Both were on their phones, only Joyce’s torso was a bit taller which allowed her phone to not block Emily’s. Both were quietly browsing up until there was a sigh from Joyce. “What?” Emily asked as she comically turned her gaze up to the ceiling. “I just got some news from Sheila...” Joyce explained with a glum attitude. “Remember that business dinner my mom asked me about?” Emily did her best to rack her brain, but nothing of substance was bubbling to the top. “Uh...” “I have a business dinner coming up this week and I knew it’d be a late night, but I wasn’t expecting it to turn into something overnight...” “What do you mean?” Emily started leaning back to dig her head into Joyce. “The dinner’s at a hotel,” Joyce wrapped her arms around Emily’s waist and flopped on her back. “It’s a nice hotel, but of course the host thinks that he’s doing some of us guests a favor by buying us our own rooms for the night. You’d think people would stop doing that by now…?” She mostly complained amongst herself, because the concept of buying someone a hotel room for the night seemed like a gesture beyond Emily’s purse strings. “Can’t you just turn it down?” Emily partly lifted herself to turn over and rest her chin on Joyce’s sternum. “It wouldn’t look good,” Joyce said as she paused to groan, “being given a room usually means that there’s going to be some kind of breakfast in the morning...at least with this guy.” “Maybe he has a thing for you?” Emily cheekily giggled, but Joyce didn’t outwardly laugh. “Well, if he tries to make a move like that, I’ll just explain that I’m too busy managing your naps and bedtime...” She carried away with the thought like it was an honest threat. “Take a joke!” Emily giggled as the smile did eventually come to Joyce’s face. “What kinda host is it?” “He manages breweries. I can’t say I know much about the business behind alcohol, though.” Joyce gave a ‘no idea’ kind of look. “I don’t think I’m someone special to him, though; he does this for just about any big head that gets invited to his stuff.” “So you’re a big head?” Emily asked, sneakily prodding for information on Joyce. “I’m a mommy who played her cards right.” She smiled as she deflected the chance for inquiry, yet went back to frowning. “But, if he makes me stay the night, I’m not going to be back to spend the night with you!” Now it sounded as if a grave injustice had been committed. Emily didn’t exactly look pleased either as she shrugged. “It’s okay...It’s only one night, and it sounds like this is for your reputation?” “It is...” Joyce bit her lower lip in thought. “You...you could always come with me?” Joyce perked up at the realization. “Huh? Go to the business dinner with you?” Emily looked a tad bit nervous. “I don’t wanna intrude on that kinda stuff...” “You wouldn’t be intruding on anything,” Joyce patted the top of her toweled head. “Believe me, plus ones are more common than not. If anything, you’d help me stand out less?” Emily’s mind couldn’t help but drift to a slightly more sensitive area though. “Yeah but...even if you’re dating another woman…?” Joyce didn’t seem to be fazed, however. “I don’t think it’d affect much?” Joyce chuckled. “Really, all that worries me is the other thing about us going public. Which it won’t,” she reassured Emily and herself. “I might just surprise a few people in my spheres,” she giggled. “Most importantly, I would be a little excited at the idea of showing you off…?” “Showing me off? Like I’m a prize or something?” Emily asked with intrigue. “Other than the person themselves, one of the most fun parts about having a lover is the exclusivity,” Joyce smiled even wider as she leaned her head forward to kiss her. “I get to show everyone how stunning you are and make it abundantly clear that no one else can have you. It goes both ways, you know?” “What would I even say?” Emily asked. “I mean...I dunno if I could handle trying to socialize with any sorta bigwigs...I imagine if we weren’t dating and I just met you, you’d probably be sort of intimidating...” “That’s why you’d be on a tight leash the whole night?” Joyce offered as a solution. “Where I go, you go, vice versa. There’d be lots of yummy food there, too...” She added with coyness. “Like buffet food?” Emily asked with a neutral face. Unfortunately, those never seemed to be too stellar. A bunch of heated aluminum trays filled with lukewarm food. “Dunno, but I’d wager the food you’d have there is better than mine; probably a little above Carmine’s?” Above Carmine’s? That was setting the bar, and Emily falling for the bait was showing. “...I don’t even have a dress ready...” Now she was simply being difficult for fun. Joyce rolled her eyes. “Like you haven’t been pampered like a princess already. Of course you’ll have something to wear! Now come on; wanna come, or do you want to make me lonely for the entire night?” “Fine, fine...I’ll go.” “Great!” Joyce smiled with a giggle. “I’ll ask Amy about getting us a child leash, and--” “Shut-uuup!” Emily groaned, rearing her head back to devour her prey like a beast as she smothered Joyce with a kiss on the lips. Joyce could only flash her teeth with a squeamish noise of glee as she unwrapped the towel from Emily’s head just so she could run her hands through her hair. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you be so playful!” It was her way of saying how great it was to finally have her away from the computer. “Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice...” Emily said light-heartedly, but there was some truth to it. “Shush,” Joyce pressed a finger on her lips. “You’re going to be absolutely fine. Now let’s get to bed already; I feel like it’s been a millennia since we both went to bed at the same time!” As Joyce leaned over for the lights, Emily oddly found herself scanning her gaze across the bed, feeling like there was something missing. “Oops, almost forgot him!” A voice could be heard as a stuffed mochi fell into the valley between Emily and Joyce’s bodies. “Where’d he go?” Emily asked, truthfully forgetting their last meeting. “You left him in the bathroom,” Joyce grinned, “I made sure to blow-dry him, though; it was a little humid there...” “Since when do you dry off mochi?” Emily laughed. “Since they started having hair.” Joyce played along, but realism quickly caught up with her mind. “Actually...” she wore a slightly grossed out look, “hairy sweets doesn’t exactly sound all that great...” Emily shuffled herself closer against Joyce in bed. “And I’m supposed to be the silly one...” “No, no, don’t worry, you still definitely are...” Joyce stretched as she found a comfortable position, one that involved Emily’s head nuzzled close against her chest. Most certainly for Emily, it felt like the greatest sleep she’d had in a millennia. Emily, Good morning! I made sure to give you a big big kiss before I left for work! Today’s the first day we’re trying out a new routine, and I haven’t made anything official yet, so I wanted to leave you a note. Today, I want you to do a couple chores around the house. 1. Make the bed (Tug the corners of the bedding to get out all the wrinkles!) 2. Vacuum the living room (I already plugged it in the wall by the TV for you!) 3. Make yourself some lunch (You’ve earned it!) 4. Call me at 12:30PM (I need my recharge!) *5. 1:00-2:00PM You may use the computer for job searching (This one is OPTIONAL!) 6. Put our clothes in the washer at 3:30PM. (I have the washer all set for you, just press the ‘Start’ button. I’ll take care of the rest when I get home!) 7. Don’t cry too much from missing me! (30 more minutes!) 8. Wait 30 minutes 9. Give me the BIGGEST hug you can when I walk through the door! Make sure you don’t overexert yourself today, okay? Call me right away if there’s something you don’t understand or if you just wanna hear my voice! I love you so so so so so so much! XOXOXO - Joyce ❤ Emily had never seen Joyce write this letter, or any kind of letter, so there was room for it being a fake message and from someone else, yet...as she finished reading with a stupid grin on her face, she knew it couldn’t be anyone but the very Joyce herself. It was a lot of words and a lot of love for really three small things to do in the house, padded out by her own interests, as well as keeping herself fed and speaking with Joyce. Hopefully her list of tasks would expand, but for now this was a start. Leaving the small note on the kitchen table, Emily walked over to the fridge to at least have breakfast before washing up to start the day. She tended to those exact things, noticing the vacuum sitting by the wall as she passed through the living room, and first moved back into the bedroom. The bed wasn’t a complete mess, but obviously it had just been slept in. Trying to channel what would have been her working energy into housley duties, Emily took the route of completely stripping the top of the bed just to neaten it down to the very sheets. Overkill most likely, yet Emily felt that if she was too average about it, she’d be out of things to do in a matter of minutes. And while she worked she started to think to herself on the lack of things to do. If Emily could estimate it, even if she gave her all for these tasks, which she planned to, there’d still definitely be time in excess...time she could use to browse on the computer… Her mind felt a little at odds with her heart though. She agreed with Joyce that she’d have designated computer time… But if it were in moderation, maybe? And, as long as she got the stuff done on the list that she wanted, wouldn’t it bolster her case that she could balance both things? Prove she didn’t have to be so restricted? As she reorganized the bed, it was coming closer to a decided conclusion… One honest and thorough vacuuming later it wasn’t even time for lunch yet; just shy of two hours off. As expected, Joyce gave her an ample amount of time. Strangely finding herself looking out for anyone in the apartment that didn’t exist, Emily crept off to the office. Untouched, Emily sat down in the chair. She wiggled the mouse and the screen came to life. Just maybe thirty minutes to check on my emails and stuff… Maybe look at a few postings… Despite it being just another day in the office, Sheila was glad to see that her boss seemed a bit more alert and on task today. It was as if her earlier troubles had sorted themselves out. Either than, or maybe she’d detached herself from the person that she told her about. Either way, her performance was back to where it usually was, and that was a good thing. “Oh, Sheila, that’s right,” Joyce said as she accepted her scheduled drink, “I guess I am staying at the hotel the night of the dinner.” She said it with a smile, which didn’t flag as a problem for Sheila, but it did seem a tinge of strange. She’d never known her boss to be exactly glad over gestures like that. Maybe the first few times, but they tend to add up to the point of being an inconvenience. Sheila didn’t always accompany her, but even from the sidelines it was sort of understandable… “That’s good to know,” Sheila nodded as she made a note on her phone. “I’ll make sure to confirm your reservation later today.” “Thank you. Oh, one more thing, can you make sure that the reservation is for two?” “Two?” Sheila asked, signaling it as confirmation for her ears, but she was honestly surprised. She nodded with a faint glow on her face, like the sun itself was shining from her imagination. “Oh, and that also reminds me; do you want to come, too? I heard that the food is going to be good?” “I appreciate the offer, Ms.Summers, but I’d rather not impose on something like that… If it were for work-related things though, I’d be willing...” “I wouldn’t want you to work the night of a dinner,” Joyce waved off the notion. Truthfully, everything with Emily had put her in a good mood. She was feeling generous, and Sheila’s hard work was always due for some kind of reward. “What if I put you up in a room, at least?” Joyce continued to press, then she remembered hearing from Sheila something on a not so great night. “You and your boyfriend? It’s the least I could do for all your hard work?” And need she mention all the things that she asked of Sheila in excess… “Ms.Summers, I couldn’t do that to you. I really do appreciate it, but we don’t need to--” “But I want to?” Joyce pushed. “I don’t want you to.” Sheila said politely, but firmly. Joyce resisted a grin. Fortunately and not so fortunately, she didn’t fold like Emily usually would. “You haven’t taken any vacations this year yet, right?” Joyce asked. If there was one thing she certainly could remember about Sheila, it was the times that she wasn’t there, awfully because those were so few and far between. “How about that then? You take the day off and I give you and your boyfriend a hotel room? Is it not a nice hotel?” “It is...but if I’m going to be there, I should be on the clock to help--” “But if you were on the clock, how could I get you to justify accepting my generosity?” Joyce raised an eyebrow. “Sheila, let me pay you back a little for everything that you do?” Accepting gifts wasn’t Sheila’s strongest suit. They were nice, but as the supporting role for so long, minimal recognition had simply been the norm. To disrupt that was...well, disruptive. “I...suppose I can ask my boyfriend...” Sheila gave no definitive answer. She wasn’t going to try and talk her boyfriend out of it, but she still didn’t feel wholly comfortable. Maybe it was weird to think, yet it felt like she hadn’t done anything to earn it? Which objective was being extremely modest, given just how much Sheila considered her tasks to be the status quo. And on another note, a dog sitter would be in line as well. “Good!” Joyce nodded with approval. “You don’t have to come to the business dinner, but try to go out to eat? Do something fun; collect receipts for me. I’ll reimburse you for everything.” “I can’t do that!” Sheila raised her voice a little, quickly composing herself. “A room is more than enough, Ms.Summers. I can’t take advantage of you. It’d be a day off, anyway?” Joyce sighed, but still looked happy to have made progress. “Well, if you can go, that’s great; book yourself a room, don’t be stingy, because at the minimum I’m at least paying for that. From there, just let me know if there’s any other kind of bill.” It was most certainly all a definitive maybe in Sheila’s mind, yet gratitude was of course in need. “Thank you for being so generous, Ms.Summers...” “Thank you for always keeping me afloat,” Joyce smiled. Be it in the office or the home, she always seemed to have someone supporting her now. Sheila excused herself while Joyce continued with her work with a drink to help her move along. It was already a regular thing for her, but especially now she was eager to get back home. All the little things she wrote on the note that was left for Emily made her heart flutter and fueled the excitement she was having just to walk through the door. Would Emily really be waiting to give her a hug? She couldn’t wipe a silly grin off her face just from thinking about it. But before that’d even happen, there was also the time that she’d get to talk to her; in all honesty, that was her favorite. It was like a small recharge that she could use to power herself through the rest of the day. Will she call first? Joyce had her guesses, yet continued to play the innocent schoolgirl as she worked away. As her fingers moved so did the time, passing and passing, broken up by a few more talks with Sheila and hearing from other executives. No official meetings yet, thankfully. But, beyond all that boorish routine, the clock was finally arriving at noon-thirty and it was just about time to talk to Emily. Maybe she was making a big deal out of it, but Joyce still made sure that her phone was in clear sight just in case if the ringing somehow didn’t catch her attention. Once it was past a couple minutes, Joyce set aside her work, paying direct attention to her phone. “Maybe she’s busy…?” Joyce quietly murmured, lifting up her phone. She knew she was being overly punctual. Maybe just a few more minutes. 12:35 12:39 12:44 12:49 Finally, Joyce was somewhat frowning with a concerned expression. While there wasn’t much experience to make a fair judgement on something like this, Emily didn’t seem the type to forget about calling her. Giving up on the waiting game, Joyce dialed for Emily on her phone. Emily finally remembered to blink as she rubbed her eyes a little. She was in the midst of writing another cover letter. Easily this is what ate away at her the most, namely because it forced her to exercise her writing muscle, of which she had so little of. Unbeknownst to her, the time she’d been on the computer grossly passed 30 minutes over 2 hours ago. After a good night’s rest her body felt refreshed to find the rhythm again that put her in such a sorry state all over again. Not only that, but the rhythm apparently involved a faint vibrational buzzing noise now, yet it pulsated with its noise. Emily stopped for a second to see if she was hearing things, which she assumed she was, because eventually it did stop. “...I’ll just finish this letter, apply to the other position, then it should probably be time to call Joyce...” She muttered to herself, tracking the time on a sense of feeling rather than visual observation. A missed call. Joyce didn’t like the sight of that. Now it really fell out of Emily’s habits. She tried calling again, but it rang right up until the voicemail. Was everything okay at home? Did something happen? Or maybe she just fell asleep… With that in mind, it certainly was likely. Yet still, losing out on her chance to hear from Emily put a visible frown on her face, like a promised surprise that wasn’t going to happen. Finally though Joyce had enough of the pointless thinking. She navigated through her phone until she had her snapshot back into the apartment via the security cameras. She didn’t have any plans to snoop on Emily, she just wanted to make sure that she was okay… Though, there wasn’t anyone to be found. At least, not in the kitchen, not the living room, not the guest room, not even their own bedroom? While the nursery had no camera inside of it, a funny coincidence considering it wasn’t initially planned to be one, it was locked, and only Joyce had a key. There was only one place left to check, but obviously she wasn’t going to be in there. After all, she had no business there until… And yet of course, there she was. Joyce’s concern shriveled up as soon as she saw Emily, absorbed yet again on the computer as she typed away. She couldn’t see what Emily was up to, but if Joyce could guess, it was an answer she would not be happy with. She sighed as she put down her phone, feeling what she’d best equate to disappointment. Emily had promised her, and by some way or another she had convinced herself to break it. Was she mad at her? No, of course not, but it meant to Joyce that she was apparently being too soft. “Done...” Emily sighed as she somehow found a moment of reprise in the vicious cycle of job hunting. It was long enough for her to check the time, instantly feeling a worrisome feeling in her chest. It was nearly 2:30. All she could wonder in a panic was where the time had gone. Like a cold splash of water she was sober of her technological addition and rapidly closed everything on screen. “Shit…! I was supposed to call her!” Emily realized far too late as she practically jumped out of the chair. “Phone, phone?!” She shouted for the inanimate companion, feeling even worse as that distant buzzing she thought to be mindless noises was actually an important call. It was laying on the nightstand in their room where she had left it while making the bed. Sure enough, her heart sank even further once she saw the missed calls from Joyce. Just as she was about to call her, she stopped for a moment. What if it was a bad time to call now? She could be in a meeting or something? Emily stared down at the screen with a troubled look. Knowing Joyce, she was probably worried; she would want to hear from Emily in some way at least. If not call, then… TO: JOYCE Emily: I’m sososososososo sorry! I was supposed to call!! She sat on the bed nervously with her knees pulled into her chest. Call it a small growing dependency, but she was kneading her toes into the top of Pip who had been nearby. A few minutes later and a reply came. Joyce: I’m in a meeting right now… can’t really talk. Were you sleeping? Apparently she was right about the meeting part, which made her sigh with relief that she did choose to text her instead. But in her text, there weren't any warm or fuzzy words. She was busy, so it made sense why there wouldn’t be, yet Emily couldn’t help but let her guilty conscious already see it as a targeted message. And that part hurt the most. The thought of disappointing Joyce. It was supposed to be day one. The start of something new; rehabilitation. And yet she’d already gone and blown it. What would Joyce think? Emily was better than this. She should know better. She could do better. She was certain to… So,.with a lesson like this already taught to herself...if Joyce didn’t know, maybe it’d be better to just forget about it just this once…? It was a good scare for Emily and it still left Joyce happy. That being said, she’d have to be extra sure to make it up to Joyce when she got home, even if she doesn’t know the full story… Emily: Sorry...I dozed off after vacuuming… The guilt she felt was immeasurable, yet she knew it was a plausible explanation. She wasn’t lying maliciously; it was a white lie… Joyce did it all the time too, didn’t she? So how was this any different? They both had their secrets, so, this was fine...It was okay… There wasn’t any response, and Emily left it alone with the assumption that Joyce didn’t have time to get back to her. Feeling scared straight now, Emily avoided the office like the plague as she tried to keep herself busy. Just to make herself feel like she was still a good person, she tried to adhere to Joyce’s list by making herself lunch even if it did come late. Even if she was being an adult right now, she knew the exact feeling she was going through right now. Naughtiness. Not the sexy, fun kind. But the remorseful, troublesome one. It was what made her feel so small right then despite it being an honest mistake… Everything was going to be fine, yet she lied to Joyce to keep the peace and seemingly got away with it. She tried to forget about it as the day went on, calming down as the time passed… Joyce didn’t move for a second as she stared at the door leading into the apartment, but braced herself for whatever, given what she saw this morning over the cameras. Upon opening the door there was no one waiting for her at the entrance. She frowned a little, honestly disappointed, even if it was sort of joking that she wanted a hug when she came back. I totally wanted one… She silently pouted in her head. Turning around she closed the door and slipped off her heels. “Welcome...BACK!” A loud voice shouted with a wavering quiver as it came with a burst of energy. Joyce slightly stumbled to the door once a pair of arms assaulted her from behind, wrapping tightly around her waist. “E-Emily?” Joyce chuckled as she tried to turn her head around, yet her eyes widened as she saw what she thought she did. With a beet-red face Emily was pressing herself up against Joyce firmly, eyes sealed shut and keeping her lips pursed. While it was strange to see her like that despite the loud and energetic voice, it started to seem more forced than casual once Joyce noticed her distinct lack of clothes. No shirt, pants, nothing. Not even underwear. “W-welcome home...” Emily hugged tighter still from behind as her feet touched the cold slate of the shoe area. Joyce finally worked her hands off of her so she could swap for a frontal hug, which Emily continued to embrace strongly like her modesty depended on it. “H-hello to you too...” Joyce still kept an awkward expression, clearly not expecting this to be her greeting home. “Emily...why are you naked?” “C-...cuz I felt like it...” She tried to look pouty with a protruded lip and pupils to the side, yet her furrowed brow and tomato-red cheeks seemed to sorely contradict whatever act she was trying to go for. Joyce figured there was more to whatever game she was playing, but she also figured Emily was too embarrassed to put it all out into words at once. “Uh...huh?” Joyce smiled a bit, finding a bit of control again once it became obviously clear that Emily was struggling so dearly to be off-the-cuff. “And what’s the reason for that?” “Be...cuz...cuz I...I put all my panties in the wash,” Emily says with a weak ‘hmmf’, already abandoning her stubborn, cool-guy attitude for a different, logical progression kind of trope. Her foreplay was crumbling on account of being too embarrassed to actually carry it out. “All of them…?” Joyce seriously considered it for a second, then had a change of tune once she remembered her own promise. Was this her way of saying that she was ready for baby time? “Well, in that case, it doesn’t sound like you’ve got any panties to wear, huh?” Joyce said, repeating Emily’s own words, yet with a hammer and stake to solidify the loose logic Emily had laid out so hastily. “Y-yeah…?” Emily started to confirm with diction, yet it fell apart just as fast into a question. Had this been a stage production Joyce would have scolded her for making it sound like she herself was the mastermind, but she let it slide on account of her benevolence. “Yes, that is what it sounds like. And you certainly know that my panties won’t fit you either?” Emily had slowly been burying her face into Joyce, still in absolute personal disbelief she had willed herself to fling at Joyce butt-naked. Hopefully this was giving the effect she wanted… “Mhm...” Joyce tutted, slowly pulling Emily back by the wrists to bring her full naked self into view. Emily was like a stumbling doe, nearly slipping over as she tried to follow Joyce’s movements yet simultaneously keep her knees together to mask her crotch. “Now, now,” Joyce gave a stern look, “it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she chided. And with extreme reluctance and a small whimper, Emily did shakily pull her knees apart. It was hard to believe she thought that she could pull a bratty act on Joyce while looking like this. Joyce exaggerated a long sigh. “Well since it’s come to this and you’ve gotten rid of all your big girl undies, I guess that really only leaves us with what really seems to be the more appropriate choice for you, doesn’t it?” Emily quietly nodded with shaky legs. “Uh...uh-huh...” And as Joyce looked at her with a waning shock factor, she remembered that Emily already had broken her promise by using the computer so early today. Keeping that in mind, it may have made a little sense as to why Emily was acting so brazenly right now. Maybe working extra hard for brownie points to cushion the moment Joyce inevitably found out? That is, assuming she hadn’t already... Fine. If Emily wanted to do this on account of guilt, Joyce would let her. “And what would that be?” Joyce asked as she crouched to come eye to eye with the embarrassed, naked girl. “Hm? Tell me,” she smiled, “Since you were a silly girl and lost all your panties in the wash, what does that mean you have to wear now?” “D-diapers...” Emily managed to say, but not without looking away. A few fingers found her chin though as they steered her gaze back at Joyce. “I can’t hear you if you look away, honey,” Joyce put on her best chuckle, the kind of laugh a gentle villainess would use. But in Joyce’s headcanon, this was all perfectly justified. “Go on, what do we need to put you in? Say it clearly.” “D-...diapers...” Emily said once more, only quieter as she did her best to look straight on, her face feeling hotter than it had ever been before. “That’s right!” Joyce beamed. “Diapers! Thick, cushy diapers for my little girl,” she smiled as she raised her hand along Emily’s wrist to turn it into a holding of hands than a dragging of the wrist. Though it was virtually the same as Joyce assumed the lead in walking to the nursery. The door was unlocked in a matter of seconds, and Emily was right on the changing table not much long after. It’s been too too long! Joyce practically screamed in her head. She wanted to squeal with joy that they were finally using this space again, like they’d finally opened back up to their other halves after so long. It was like giving oxygen to just a single lung; it was wrong, unnatural, and unsustainable. “Where did we ever get the idea of letting you get to have panties?” Joyce tutted as her outward, stern persona continued. “Maybe I’m the silly one for entertaining it...” “Y-yeah...” Emily filled the space with whatever sounded most agreeable as her head felt fried from the overstimulation. Regardless, Joyce seemed to be in a good mood, so Emily considered it a success, especially because she looked like she didn’t find out about the computer, nor she had any suspicions… Mission successful? Joyce took a long breath as she smiled down at Emily from above, leaning over to take a diaper out of the basket. She giggled so sweetly as she knew this was going to be a great night; making good on the lovely, special diapered cuddles and adorable moments she’d been starved of for so long. And all the same, she’d get to force a confession out of Emily. Emily’s generally embarrassed look froze a little as she heard Joyce chuckle and say, “Ohh Emily...my sweet, sweet, adorable girl. My naughty, misbehaving little girl...” It was all in good fun, but there wouldn’t be fun without scolding. As Emily laid there, the words felt out of place with how things had been moving. But they weren’t, and she knew that. The invisible chains of fate seemed to bridge her left-field comments to something she did this morning… Something she wasn’t supposed to do. “So,” Joyce continued with still a rosy expression, “Would you like to tell me what you did first? Or should I think of my own punishment instead?” There was the pleasant hum as Joyce cooked. Dinner would be ready soon and it will have been their first day trying this new routine. And so far, all things considered, it has gone pretty well. “J-Joyce…?” A sniffling, whimpering Emily moaned. “Yes, hon?” Joyce turned her head with a smile, facing the back of Emily’s head. “I’m...” her voice trembled and was on the verge of tears. “I’m really sorry…!” She sobbed as she started to turn her head. “I know you are,” Joyce tried not to laugh as she left the stove for a moment. “But keep that nose in the corner for ten more minutes,” she said as she gently steered Emily’s face back to the point where the two walls met. “Sorry...” Emily moped, sounding even more disgusted and disappointed in herself. “It’s alright. Once you finish your punishment, all is forgiven.” Joyce said a bit more compassionately as she straightened the waistband of Emily’s diaper, then walked back to the other end of the kitchen. Funnily enough, once Joyce “confronted” Emily in the nursery, not more than a few seconds passed until Emily was an absolute mess. She couldn’t have spilled the truth any faster if she tried. Joyce mentioning a punishment was sort of a joke, but...obviously what Emily had done meant a lot to herself. Joyce was a little disappointed about what happened at first, though it felt unnecessary once she could see how much Emily was beating herself up over it already. Then comes the more unusual part of the aftermath; the timeout. Emily was like a puppy that needed something to chew on. Or as another metaphor, she needed to “atone for her sins”, which wasn’t a lot, but maybe she’d feel better after? In other words, Emily essentially asked for a timeout… And as a passing thought which did make Joyce smile to herself was the likeness to an actual toddler. Then again, with the way Emily seemed to reflect so heavily, maybe even she’d give an actual kid a run for their money. From Emily’s perspective, it was thirty minutes in a scorching hell. String her up, torture her by any means, pull out her teeth, pull out her tongue; anything! She couldn’t believe what she had done. She had promised Joyce, she told herself that she was going to commit to this. And yet, she failed on day one? Not only that, which was offensive on its own, but also her attempts to lie about it and hide the truth from Joyce. She was absolute scum. She deserved this. Only the lowest of the low deserved a punishment like this… And again, back to Joyce’s perspective, all she could see was her girlfriend slouched over in the corner, looking like she had a teary scowl on her face. Under the guise of boiling water, Joyce sighed with a smile as she muttered, “My little crybaby...” “Okay, Emily?” Joyce spoke up approximately ten minutes later. “It’s been thirty minutes, you can come out from the corner now.” “Mhm...” Emily somberly nodded, slow in her motions to leave her grim prison. “Don’t just ‘mhm’ me,” Joyce finally laughed as she hoisted Emily up onto her feet. “The punishment is over, so don’t act like it’s still going on?” “It should be though!” Emily said. “I...what I did was bad, Joyce. I lied to you and I did what I was told not to do...” “Yes, you did,” Joyce acknowledged, “but that’s why you’ll prove that you learned your lesson tomorrow? It’ll be the same situation, so just remember today when you start tomorrow.” While the words meant well, Emily didn’t look very much inspired. Rather, the words were simply overpowered by Emily’s immense, and unnecessary guilt. Finally Joyce was losing her patience with a roll of her eyes. “Do I need to pull down your diaper next and spank you to high heaven? Is that what you want?” The bold suggestion caught Emily off guard. “N-no...” “I don’t exactly want to do that either,” Joyce agreed, “so can we please forget about this now? I was a little upset at first Emily, but I’ve moved on, don’t you think you should too? You’re making me feel like I kicked a puppy.” She snickered, then gave her a toothy smile.” “O...okay.” Emily nodded, finally feeling ready to put this to bed. Yet let it be known that she planned to carry this serious offense with her moving forward. A warrior steeled by their scars of the past. “Good.” Joyce nodded with approval, lurching Emily forward with a firm slap on her padded rear. “Now sit that bottom down at the table. We’re eating and I want to hear all about the stuff you did today, then I’m going to tell you about mine,” She sounded almost like a drill sergeant despite the pleasant suggestion. “Understood?” “Yes...” A smile finally started to come back to Emily’s face. “That’s what I like to hear. Let me get some plates out.” She said as she reached for the higher cabinets. For Emily’s sake, I probably should give her less opportunities for failure… In retrospect, she probably should have seen this coming, but Emily was quite the self-destructive ball of emotions, come to find out. Maybe Sheila might know something about computer software...

31 - Moment of Pause “Just...just don’t hit any bumps, okay?” Emily pleaded nervously, practically a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her head. She clutched her charge and held it close to her arms, fearing for its dear life. “If you act like that, it makes me want to tease you, you know?” Joyce grinned, leaning her foot just a little more in tune to the engine’s growing hum. “Stop! Stop!” Emily shouted, and her cries were answered as Joyce eased off the speed with an amused laugh. “Emily, it’s just a bottle, not a bomb?” Joyce giggled. “Yeah, but it’s an expensive one!” Emily worriedly said, looking down at the luxurious item. “You don’t even know how much it is?” Joyce said, keeping her eyes on the road. “Because you wouldn’t tell me!” She retorted with an annoyed attitude. The day Joyce came home with it Emily had asked what it was, and her answer being a “small” gift to Michael and his wife for having them over. Well, Emily knew it to be expensive because if it hadn’t been Joyce wouldn’t have minded telling her the amount. In other words, responses like, “Don’t worry about it,” or “Not that much,” equated to a digit followed by too many zeroes for Emily’s purse. “Does it bother you that much?” Joyce asked, though looking no less chipper. Frankly this felt like a wonderful serving of karma for Emily’s little stunt about the whole “cheating” scandal. It’d been almost a week and it still made Joyce furrow her brows, thinking how gullible she’d been… “Mm...well, I hope they like wine…” Emily pensively spoke, looking down on the bottle. A dark crimson encased in a tinted glass, sealed by a cork wrapped in twine, shrouded by a paper covering, added with a present bow to boot. Joyce stole her an urgent glance. “Well don’t say that now! That wasn’t cheap, you know!” “See!? I knew it!” Emily hadn’t skipped a beat in her persecution, followed by more laughter from Joyce. Naturally she’d done it to get a rise out of the frazzled girl, and it felt great. “You’re gonna need to calm down there, munchkin,” Joyce rhythmically ran her thumb across the steering wheel, “otherwise you’re gonna be too tired to socialize when we get there?” “Maybe all I need is some of this fifty-thousand fun juice.” Emily mused. “Okay, it wasn’t that expensive. Two digits less, please.” “You didn’t pack me a weird bathing suit, did you?” Emily asked as she turned her head to the large canvas bag they had in the backseat. “Cross my heart,” Joyce swore. Though, that wouldn’t be for forever… Sure, getting to see Emily in a bikini was exciting, but her other side wanted to see what kind of kiddush one-pieces she could get her into. Which begged a new question: does Amy do bathing suits too? “...No diapers either, right?” “Definitely not.” Joyce didn’t play with the phrasing much at all this time. It’d unfortunately become a sensitive issue in not the way she liked. “...And in regards to that, I was thinking we should finally talk about that. Either tonight or tomorrow… Is that alright?” And it had certainly been a week since the Zoo incident; the reason for their small get-together today and the tension that remained behind closed doors. “Mm.” Emily nodded with agreement. It had become more of an awkward thing the longer they stayed away from it. Once again, neither felt any kind of animosity to the other, yet felt a need to establish themselves clearly. What one would acknowledge though and the other would never say was Joyce’s need to be fitted with a kill switch or speed bump. Mommy Joyce, particularly. But no matter what, what both wanted more than anything was to go back to the way things had been and continue progressing as they were. Somehow they’d lost the reigns and given themselves a scare. “It’s kinda weird, though,” Emily passively spoke as she looked out the window, “I’ve never been outside the city here.” “Yeah?” Joyce in tune responded. “I think I have a couple times. I thought about getting a nice house out here for a short minute, but in the end, I would rather staying closer to the company, and financials aren’t too big of a factor...” “Speaking of which, are we almost there?” Emily muttered, leaning into the GPS on the console. “Our Estimated Arrival Time is approximately three minutes.” Emily repeated verbatim from the screen. “Roger that, navigator.” Joyce smirked. They were driving up a winding hill right now. It was an interesting neighborhood; suburbs that hadn’t prioritized the quantity in housing over quality. Decently sized and spacious properties. Probably a few degrees less than the market Joyce might start to consider, but nice nonetheless. Clearly Michael and his wife did well for themselves. “I was a little surprised to hear from Michael so soon,” Joyce said. “Yeah, me too,” Emily agreed, “but it’s probably better this way. Otherwise we’d probably forget about them?” Nothing against Michael and Jackie, but that’s how relationships went. Leave them idle and you start to drift elsewhere. “A very fair point, especially when your only connection is having given couple’s counselling to the other?” Joyce chuckled. “True...” Emily said, not so warm to reliving the experience. “It’ll be fun to get to know Michael a bit more, though. Him including his wife; I think he said she was back home from business?” “What if she turns out to be like your...business enemy or something?” Emily asked in a mostly not so serious tone. “Not gonna happen, don’t worry,” Joyce laughed. “I don’t really see my competitors as enemies. More along the lines of...potential business partners with similar interests.” Emily only stared at her, letting the description soak in. “You sound like the business enemy...” “Well, it’s all a matter of perspective.” Joyce curtly replied, leading to giggles from Emily. “Regardless of what she does for work, which is very much unlikely the same as mine, I promise to play nice!” Emily gave an accepting nod. “Mmph.” She approved, as if she were the new authority figure in their dynamic. “I’ve raised you well.” “Raised me? We’ll see who raises who when I toss you into their pool...” Joyce muttered with a sneaky grin. Though her playful tone shifted almost immediately. “Oh look! We’re already here.” She said as they rounded the final curb. Coming into view was a nicely sized two-story home, paired with a double garage and a large, green front lawn. A tall white fence ran along the perimeter of its backyard. “It seems kinda stereotypical? In a good way.” Emily remarked about the home. It looked nice, especially the bottom trim of rock and mortar along the base of the house. “Well, stereotypical for an above average middle class home, I guess.” Joyce agreed. Joyce pulled into the long driveway before killing the engine. Both got out, and Emily was closer to the path leading to the front porch, but she lingered by the vehicle, waiting for Joyce. With the mention of swimming, both Joyce and Emily opted for something more poolside, that being sandals, exposed shoulders, sunglasses and shorts. “Actually, I haven’t swam once since I came to this state,” Emily suddenly admitted. “Really?” Joyce was a little surprised. “Are you excited to get a chance to go back in a pool?” “Kinda...” Emily pivoted her sandal-clad foot off the ground with her toe, as if to vent her poorly hidden feelings. “...It’d be kinda nice...” “I’m glad to see you looking forward to something~!” Joyce commented with a kiss on her cheek. “W-well, you’re gonna swim too, right?” She asked. After all, it wouldn’t be cool unless the cool kids were doing it. “Who’s gonna lift you up when your feet don’t touch the bottom?” Joyce asked, though the joke became apparent faster than Joyce could keep a straight face. “Bleeeeh~” Emily replied, in the form of a wet, flapping tongue. Joyce slung the canvas bag over her shoulder and walked with Emily to the front door. They rang the bell and waited patiently. “She’s here! She’s here!” A faint voice came from inside the house. Joyce and Emily shared a look with each other, trying to discern it. Suddenly, Joyce was tapping Emily on the shoulder. “I’d hate to blow her cover, so try not to make it obvious, but...” Joyce pointed Emily’s gaze to a window accompanied by curtains, only one end looked moved to the side, as a tiny pair of eyes stared from within. As Emily leaned back to get a better look, the eyes vanished and the curtain fell back into place. “Whoa--what? Jackie! Slow down! You’re gonna make me trip and break something!” A familiar voice chastised from inside the home. Finally, they heard the knob turn and the door opened to Michael greeting them. “Hey you two! Emily, Joyce, glad you guys could make it!” “Thank you for having us,” Joyce thanked him, “Should we come in through the front or around the back…?” Michael waved the notion off. “Come on in, we can head into the backyard from inside.” He opened the additional glass door on top of the wooden one for them. “Pardon the diabolical Jackie Bomb that went off in the living room. Try not to look on the way by; it isn’t pretty...” And as the ashamed tour guide explained, they did pass by the entrance to the living room, which certainly did look...out of sorts. Toys were scattered everywhere, and so were some of the throw pillows kept on the couch. Emily could also hear some kind of cartoon coming from the tv. “Where is Jackie, by the way?” Emily asked. “We thought we heard her...and saw her.” She added the last point with a small laugh. “Well, I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal if we told her you two would be coming over the weekend for a small pool party, but apparently a week wasn’t enough to get it out of her system.” Michael sighed with a chuckle, reminiscing with questionable feelings. “Sorry in advance, Emily, but Jackie may be very well glued to you. We’ll keep her on a leash as best we can, though.” “No problem…?” Emily answered, wondering why she got the special warning. But giving it some more thought, maybe because she met Jackie first and had some one-on-one with her… “Joyce, sorry to say she seems to have a fixation on Emily. I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you again too, though?” Joyce played it off nicely, laughing as she said, “Don’t worry, I promise not to take offense!” In spite of her fondness of babying Emily, that didn’t extend to being a huge fan of kids. She’d never dislike a child without reason, including Jackie, but the thought of them didn’t put her over the moon. The closer they got to the kitchen, a conversation could be heard. “Jackie, you need to stop tugging on my pants!” A voice complained. “But…! Can you come with me?” Jackie could be heard begging. “I need to finish setting up the snacks, honey. You’re perfectly capable of saying ‘hi’ on your own. Go on now, shoo!” She chastised her playfully, chuckling as Jackie could be heard making a whining noise. And as Michael, Joyce and Emily entered the kitchen, it came to no one’s surprise when they saw the scene. Just as the voices and tone described, Jackie was clutching the woman’s pants, now hiding herself behind them with half an eye peeking at Emily and Joyce. “What are we gonna do with you, you little monkey?” The woman laughed. She looked up and turned to the three other adults. “Oh! You two must be Emily and Joyce! I’ve heard so much about...” She continued to smile at their entrance, though she looked at a loss for words once her eyes fell on Emily. Then after a confused pause, her expression lit up again.”Ah! I remember you!” She laughed to herself while the only other person in the room who could be capable of understanding was Emily. “Huh?” Michael looked between Emily and his wife, Joyce in a similar fashion. “Hon, you two know each other?” Apparently it got to the woman quite a bit, because she was wiping her eye. Emily stayed quiet though, suddenly feeling quite embarrassed. “We saw each other at a bar almost a week ago! We didn’t exactly end on good terms though...funny how things work out.” “G-good to see you again...” Emily felt sheepish, and quite regretful over the way she acted the first time. She really wasn’t counting on seeing her again. “I’m sorry about what I said--!” “Oh? That?” She waved her hand dismissively with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. You had your reasons,” she looked at Michael to give him the abbreviated version, “I chatted with her for a little bit and offered to pick up her tab, but I guess I must have sounded like a shady conman with some of my comments...” Now Joyce was starting to feel a bit more clued in, taking in the realization that this was the woman from the bar Emily went to… Red hair...nice figure...good looks...stable financial income? She was right about to give her a narrow gaze until her inner voice of reason walloped her brain. Idiot! She’s married! How is she going to steal Emily from you?! “So you two already met?” Michael asked Emily. “Sort of...” Emily said awkwardly, hoping dearly they wouldn’t have to go into any more detail about how bitchy she was being. She didn’t see much of a profiteer anymore, rather a cheery wife and mother. “We never exchanged names, though.” “It’s great to finally meet you, I’m Joyce.” Joyce was the first to extend her hand, “I had heard some pretty interesting things about that day!” Joyce laughed, though not even herself knew if it was truly genuine. “Sorry if you heard anything bad about me, I’m promise I’m not as bad as I might have seemed,” she returned the shake, “I’m Carol. And, I know you’ve already met her, but this is our little fireball, Jackie, who won’t seem to come out from behind my legs?” True to her word, the six year old remained terribly shy. She made a vocal pout as she stayed behind cover. Carol gave a loving sigh, leaning in to give an audible whisper. “Honestly, this little monster stretches my pants twice over every time she meets somebody new!” “Uh, it’s nice to meet you, Carol…” Emily spoke up as she came forward, “officially, this time.” Emily stuck out her hand. Carol smiled once more, returning her gesture. “Likewise, Emily.” Though, to Emily and Joyce’s surprise, she tugged on Emily’s hand, pulling her in for a brief hug. While Emily tried to comprehend what had happened, Carol let out another laugh as Joyce blinked. “Sorry, sorry!” Carol lamented, letting her go. “I figured there might have been some tension left over from our first, unofficial meeting. That, and I don’t want you to get the impression I’m all business.” “Uh...it’s alright,” Emily did her best to laugh it off. As Emily stood there between Carol and Joyce, her back to the latter, she could feel herself in the way of a targeted gaze. She turned her head, expecting to see some kind of fury, but instead it was a rosy smile from Joyce. Emily had an inkling of something in her mind however. She’s...jealous?! “Now, if my wonderful husband could do me the pleasure of removing this tiny terror from my legs, I’ll be almost done with our snacks!” And in turn, Michael managed to get ahold of Jackie as she squirmed in his arms, pouting the whole time. “Come on Jackie, don’t you want to say hi to Emily and Joyce again?” Michael sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You wouldn’t believe it,” Carol added as she spoke to them, “Jackie could not stop for a second about you!” She said to Emily. “The whole week it’s been about how much fun she wanted to have with you! Even when one of her friends came over she managed to infect them with curiosity, too. You’re like a mini celebrity to her.” She laughed, as Emily sort of did too. It was a bit odd to be obsessed over like that, but given it was through the scope of a child, it became more endearing than anything else… “Well, I thought knowing you’d be off the market, I was safe, but maybe I still need to be on the defensive?” Joyce countered with a small joke. Carol found it funny, but Emily wasn’t sure whether she trusted Joyce’s intentions. “That reminds me!” Emily finally spoke up. She held the bottle wrapped in a bow forward. “We wanted to get you two something for having us over...” “Really?” Carol gave a surprised look, but accepted the bottle while reading the front. “Really, you two didn’t have to do that... Oh, honey! Look! It’s a bottle from Carmine’s!” She looked back at Joyce and Emily. “We can’t take something like this - it must have cost you a small fortune!” “Please, we insist,” Joyce stayed her friendly self, “I’m a bit of a regular there anyways, so if you think about it, getting you a gift also puts me in good favor with the owner?” “Jeez,” Michael made an impressed whistle as he looked at the bottle’s date. “I don’t suppose we could trade the bottle for a reservation there instead? We tried for our last anniversary, but we weren’t expecting such a long backlog for reservations…” “I couldn’t find anyone in my circles close enough to get us in...” Carol sighed. “Well, next time you’ll have my number?” Joyce chimed in. “I’m sure I can figure something out for you down the line.” “Don’t joke,” Carol went back to a little more cutting and organizing on a large wooden platter, “we’ll actually take you up on that!” “I’m counting on it,” Joyce happily replied. She hoisted the canvas bag back over her shoulder. “I don’t want to move the party, but is there somewhere we could set our bag down? Emily and I haven’t changed into our bathing suits yet...” “Of course! If you go back down the hall, on your right you should see the opening to the bathroom. You two can change there. Michael and I need to do the same, actually, and so does Jackie.” She set her stuff down, walking to her husband and accepting Jackie into her arms. “Sorry folks, the diva’s feeling a bit shy at the moment...” She excused herself with her daughter in arms. Emily looked back at the platter. It looked divine. “Oh wow, an antipasto platter?” Joyce asked Michael, admiring the handiwork. “It all looks so good!” She commented. Closely packed and dressed in varied assortments of meats, cheeses, olives, crackers and more. “Well, especially now considering the gift you two just gave us, it’s the least we could do,” Michael said, seeming to revere their gesture much more than his own. “Either way, it all looks really good!” Emily finally commented. She tugged on Joyce’s hand, “Wanna go change now?” Joyce nodded. “Sounds like a plan, my little diva,” she grinned, leaving Emily puzzled over the verbiage as they walked to the bathroom. “Any complaints if we change at the same time?” Joyce asked right before closing the door. “Wait,” Emily’s complacent look dropped, “you mean...I’m gonna see you...naked?” Joyce furrowed her brow. “Well, yeah...you didn’t seem to mind before when I...” Then she saw the grin on Emily’s face. “You’ve been teasing me an awful lot, you know that?” Joyce tried to hide her smile as she already started to strip. “What can I say? Gotta make up for lost points. I feel...reinvigorated.” She spoke with a feigned distance in her star-struck eyes. “Hmm. Well, I’ll be needing to think about how I can knock you down a few pegs again...” She spoke deviously as she unhooked Emily’s bra, then turned for hers to be undone the same way. “And hey,” Emily stopped to look at Joyce in the eyes, “remember to play nice?” “I promise. I was just...getting the rest of it out of my system. Wouldn’t you be surprised if someone you felt threatened by hugged me the first time we met?” “So you do feel threatened by her!” Emily accused, trying to stifle a laugh. “She’s married, Joyce! To a guy!” “I know, I know! I was being...irrational.” She read her lines off the ceiling. “You know that about me already. She can’t surprise me anymore. Besides, she seems nice; I’d like to get to know her more.” Emily paused, as if to try and discern whether or not it was a lie. But it wasn’t, or either Emily could not discern well enough, because she let her off the hook. “I believe you. And another thing to remember,” Emily said, pressing her bare self against Joyce, “I only belong to you!” Joyce had raised her brows, but her look tempered into a tender smile, one Emily could feel with absolute certainty. “Yes you do,” she kissed her on the head, “And you’re the only one I take orders from.” She finally pulled out their bikinis. Understandably, Michael was the first one to be outside by the in-ground pool when Joyce and Emily came out. Joyce carried towels for both as they sat down in some chairs next to Michael surrounding a table. In its center was a long pole, and above that was an expanded umbrella to shield them from the bright sun from above. “Oh wow, I knew it was going to be a nice day, but the stars really did seem to align...” Joyce commented. “Right?” Michael agreed. “It feels like you can’t make weather-dependent kinds of plans, otherwise Murphy’s Law rears its head...” “Sorry we’re late!” Carol announced her arrival as she brought Jackie out in arms with her. Carol was in a two-piece as well, whereas Jackie was in a one-piece. Pink, polka dotted with mermaids patterned all over. Joyce fought hard not to sigh. Definitely need to get Emily something like that… “Jeez though, it’s been so long since I’ve even gone near a pool,” Emily briefly ranted, “I’m practically ready to be a mermaid if it means I can swim again!” Of all things to happen, no one expected it to be the turn of Jackie’s head, a wide, glowing smile. “You like mermaids too?” Emily suddenly paused with surprise. “Uhm, yeah! I like them a lot. Do you too?” “Yeah!” Jackie vigorously nodded. Taking advantage of the moment, Carol was able to let her go. She scurried over to the seat next to Emily, climbing in. “Do you like Ariel?” She eagerly asked. “O--...of course I do!” Emily said, suddenly nervous about how much her mythical sea life knowledge was about to be called into question. “She’s my favorite mermaid!” Though, she hadn’t a clue what other ones existed, if any… Jackie giggled, seeming overjoyed to hear this. “Me too! I like Ariel cuz she has hair like Mommy’s!” Hair like her mom’s? Like Carol’s? Oh, duh. Red. Emily made an agreeing noise. “That’s a good point. They both do look kinda similar...” Carol then came back out with the platter of delicious looking food. After another quick trip inside, she was coming back out with cups of ice water. Emily had been saved from her interrogation once Carol sat down in the chair Jackie was in, opting to keep her in her lap. “I would offer to try out that bottle you two brought, but for the sake of sensible thinking and safe decisions, maybe when we don’t need to worry about driving that night?” Carol smirked, leading to mutual agreement. “So Joyce, you’ve gotta be pulling our leg, right?” Michael asked as she grabbed a small ball of mozzarella. “You said you’re a regular at Carmine’s? We can’t even manage to go once!” “Mm, well...” Joyce paused to finish swallowing, “It started first as a business dinner, but I guess I had a chance meeting with the owner that night. I said I was a fan of the food so he insisted that I come again. So I did, talked a little more, and it wasn’t so hard after that getting to go again. Also, the food was good, so I may have invested a little...” Emily from the sidelines raised a brow. A little? “But, I guess I’m a regular for the owner. It’s a little embarrassing, but they sort of know my face there.” “If we do somehow manage to go, you’ll have to go with us,” Carol added, “you seem like you’d get the red carpet rolled out for you every time you go! And Emily needs to come too, of course!” “That definitely sounds like fun,” Joyce smiled. “Can I come too?” Jackie chipperly added. Joyce gave a difficult response, which was an awkward smile, unsure of how to phrase her response. It needn’t be said, but Carmine’s was closer to a business dinner establishment than a regular restaurant. Kids weren’t much of a thing there… “I don’t think you’d like it there anyways, Honey,” Michael jumped in. “No chicken fingers,” he said solemnly, to which incited a genuine frown from Jackie. She had lost interest entirely. “Mommy!” Jackie had already shifted her attention. “Can we go swimming?” “In a minute, honey,” Carol said as she pacified her with half a roll of sliced provolone and gave herself the rest. “Joyce, I’m sorry for putting the spotlight on you so much, but what do you do for work?” Joyce nodded as she chewed. “I run a medical company. Frontier?” Quietly, Emily gave her the side eye. Not only was this the first time she’d heard the exact truth herself, but someone she just met could get the answer out of her immediately? By now Emily had started to draw her conclusions, but it was still vexing in its own way… Michael lightly laughed as he took a sip of his water. “Stop joking - after that gift you gave, we really won’t know what you say is fact or fiction!” Joyce raised a brow, signaling her innocent confusion. “...You’re being serious?” Carol asked once more, and Joyce nodded. “I don’t want to make this all about me, but if you can’t take my word for it, you could always look me up...” The married couple quickly double backed though. “No, no! We believe you; we’d never call you a liar, it’s just...surprising,” Michael gave an astonished chuckle. “It’s kind of funny to think how one thing led to another. What were you two doing at the zoo?” “My parents were visiting for a few days and Emily and I came up with the zoo as a place for us to go.” Joyce explained. “Ah, that’s right!” Michael then remembered. “Emily mentioned something like that when we were talking.” He didn’t go into detail, which both Emily and Joyce appreciated. He had the politeness to not dig any further. As great as it was to meet him, their first introductions weren’t caused by anything good. “And Emily was fighting with Joyce!” Jackie suddenly said with an earnest tone, assuming her contribution to be helpful. “A-ahm…?” Joyce gave an embarrassed laugh, unsure of how to bridge off of that. Emily looked equally as stunned as well. “Jackie!” Carol admonished, “We don’t talk about things that aren’t our business to share.” “But I was there!” Jackie complained. “No ‘but’s,” Michael stepped in. Before Jackie could start to feel upset about being scolded, Emily hurriedly interjected. “It’s okay, really! It’s just a sort of...sensitive subject, that’s all.” “Sorry...” Jackie was the first to say, impressing her parents, even if she couldn’t look Emily in the eyes. “It’s alright.” Emily smiled. There wasn’t much point in being upset now. Not as if it could be taken back, and well...kids are kids. “Actually, come to think of it,” Michael pivoted, “Emily, I can’t remember. Did we ever talk about work? What kind of work are you in?” It was an odd instinct, but Emily’s surprise from the question left her looking at Carol for a split-second. “Me? I’m...in real estate.” Her answer was slow and to herself less than stellar. Still, Michael nodded. “That’s great. I mean, the market fluctuates, but there’s always gotta be some kind of property that needs moving, I guess? Are you someone that sells the houses?” He asked. “Not exactly...I was...” She was starting to feel a bit warm. Her own mind was talking her into this, yet she couldn’t shake the dreadful embarrassment in having to state that she was jobless. Regardless of the reason, what good did it look to declare yourself a jobless face living it up with a wealthy company head? “I do the office work.” Emily managed to speak, but didn’t find it hard to be brief. Uncomfortably so. Nevertheless, Michael eased the tension seemingly felt only by Emily as he nodded. “I can definitely relate to the office work. I do detailing work for an electrical company, but no matter the medium, there’s always the same middleman stuff we have to deal with...” He sighed right then, as if reliving the workdays that just transpired. “Meanwhile,” he looked at his wife with jealousy, “this one probably spends more time outside her own office than in it.” “You try driving and flying all over the place, five days a week, with weekends included.” Carol defensively said. “Well, now that we’ve all had a turn, what do you do, Carol?” Joyce asked, truthfully curious herself. “Me? I’m a bit more freeform, I guess, but I help invest in smaller and more...unorthodox establishments?” Naturally, the use of a big word garnered Jackie’s attention. “Mommy, what’s un...un-or-thoh-docks?” She asked. “It means not as common. You don’t see it often.” Carol answered, kissing her on the forehead. Joyce had asked and she wasn’t disappointed. Rather, spurred. “Really? Which kinds?” “Well...I’d be willing to discuss more, but...” And with her hand out of view from the small girl sitting in her lap, she quietly pointed at her. Joyce laughed, understandingly. “Actually, nevermind. Emily’s keeping me on a tight leash anyway; today is all play and no business, she said.” “Oh?” Carol’s tone rose in mischief. “I didn’t mean it like that…!” Emily made a small whine, giving Joyce the kind of look that felt quite cheated. And just as Joyce was thinking of another playful quip to say, Jackie had once more stolen the show. “Mommy…!” Jackie genuinely whined. “I wanna go swimming!” “Okay, okay,” Carol relented, lifting her out of her lap as she stood. As soon as she set her down, Jackie was already bolting for the shallow end of the pool, right until Michael called for her with a stern voice. “Jackie!” He said, freezing her in her tracks. “You know you’re not allowed in without your floaties?” And for Emily and Joyce, unbeknownst to Jackie’s personal stance on such a controversial matter, were quickly enlightened by the erupting whine from her mouth. “But Daddy…!” “Absolutely not, honey.” Carol affirmed the parental law. “Floaties first, then we can go swim.” “No!” Jackie shouted back, lightly stamping her foot. Carol set her hands on her hips. The visiting couple remained quiet, as was tradition for these kinds of things. It was always awkward having to watch a parent discipline their child right in front of guests. But before Carol could do any stern parenting, Michael elected the path of questioning. “Jackie, you’re always okay with wearing them; why not now?” Joyce much like Emily tried to mind their business despite sitting right next to it all, but she couldn’t help but make a discerning observation. The little girl, constantly as she maintained her objections, gave a not so subtle glance at she and Emily. “I...I’ma big girl!” Jackie said simply. “Yes, you are,” Carol agreed, “which is why big girls know to wear their floaties if they haven’t finished swimming lessons, yet.” “I don’t wanna!” Jackie pouted. “Then you don’t want to swim?” Carol countered. “No!” Jackie was already getting teary-eyed. “Then floaties it is.” Carol held her hand out. “Come on, we’ll go get your favorite pair.” The little girl sniffled as she took her mother’s hand and they started walking to the sliding doors. “Uhm...Carol?” Everyone turned their heads, well except for a bashful Jackie, to Emily. “If it’s okay...maybe I could use a pair, too?” Emily awkwardly chuckled. “After all, it’s been a while since I last swam...I might be out of practice?” Everyone seemed to be surprised, yet the constant outlier seemed to be quite curious. “Do you need floaties too?” Jackie asked Emily, turning her head. “W-well...” Emily looked yet again on the spot. “I guess it’s better safe than sorry?” “Emily, are you sure?” Carol asked, looking terribly apologetic. Above Jackie’s head all the adults could see her intent clear as day. “You really don’t need to...” “No! Honestly, I better play it safe. Don’t wanna drown in somebody’s pool, after all.” Emily breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief, stealing a grin at Jackie, infected by the look and mumbled a giggle. “Hmm...you make a good point, Emily,” Joyce spoke up next. “Mm...Carol? Actually, could you bring me a pair too, if you have them? I think I might have gotten a bit rusty as well.” Emily gave Joyce a brief look, who smiled. Carol seemed to have been caught off guard not once, but now twice. Michael seemed surprised as well. “...Alrighty, then.” Carol nodded. “Three pairs of floaties.” Then she looked down at Jackie. “See? Emily and Joyce don’t mind wearing them, why do you?” “No! No! I’ll wear them!” Jackie kept tugging on Carol’s hand, her attitude pulling a complete 180. They watched the mother and daughter go inside before turning back to themselves amongst the trio. “Thank you, you two.” Michael appreciatively smiled. “Even though she’s just a kid, Jackie can be self-conscious around others, especially people she wants to impress.” Michael said, especially looking at Emily. “Well...it’s only a pair of floaties,” Emily shrugged. “I can swallow that kinda pill if it makes her feel more comfortable.” Really, the thought only barely crossed her mind before she was already putting it into action. Granted, opting in for a kiddie look probably didn’t do great things for her “Adult Image”. A pair of lips kissed Emily’s temple. “What was that for?” “Nothing. Just proud of you.” Joyce grinned. And so it wasn’t much later on until Two women and one small girl were all donning inflatable floats wrapped around their arms. “They’re...snug...” Joyce said, looking at her arms. They didn’t fully reach her biceps and sat just above her elbows, seeing as they were kid-sized. Carol paused for a breath, who was currently breathing air into Jackie’s which did fit her as intended. What seemed to matter the most was that her smile was from ear to ear. “Don’t worry, my husband’s a great swimmer if you start to drown!” Carol joked. Joyce smiled back before saying to Michael, “Counting on you!” to which he gave a playful nod. “Jackie, stop fidgeting, you little rascal,” Carol said, finding her mouth being dragged every which way as the little girl couldn’t stop hopping around. She marveled at all the grown-ups taking after her. And how couldn’t she? She felt part of something now. “It almost feels like getting my blood pressure taken...” Emily commented on her own set, decorated in mermaid prints. Jackie had insisted Emily get her favorite pair. Which is funny to think about, that Jackie could have a favorite among things she seemed to hate… “At least yours fit pretty well,” Joyce observed, giving Emily’s a little tug. Unlike Joyce, Emily’s arms were just small enough to slide them up into place with a little finagling. Would it actually save her from drowning? Doubtful. But, would it keep her fashionable? ...Also doubtful. Emily stepped over to the edge of the pool, sticking just a toe in the water. And to her pleasant surprise, it was quite warm. “Is this pool heated?” Emily asked Michael. He nodded. “To quote my wife, ‘I wouldn’t be caught dead swimming otherwise’.” “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a heated swimming pool before...” Emily touched the water again in awe. “Okay, honey, all set.” Carol sufficed, giving her daughter a pat on the back. All four girls looked at the water. Carol said to Michael, “Coming in?” “Maybe in a minute,” he paused to eat a piece of cheese from the board. “Gotta make up for everybody’s share!” And in a sudden moment Emily saw the world around her turn sideways as she felt a moment of trance. It was a princess carry like the many she’d found herself in before. And there she was, in Joyce’s arms. Staring up at her with a blush, especially admiring her figure in her bikini. This all happened in the span of a couple seconds, and Emily blushed, flustered that she’d be making such a bold and romantic advance right now… “J-Joyce! Really? Righ--” But it was Joyce’s devilish smile that betrayed the fantasy. “Emily’s first!” And for just a moment, Emily had flown. She soared wonderfully high. High enough to wail from the bottom of her lungs to the top, enough to feel her heart drop for just a moment as gravity pulled her right back down. Then, wonder and amazement quickly swam away as the girl cannonballed into the water. Underneath the water everything was muted above, but Emily scrambled with waving arms and kicking feet as she swam to the surface. All she could hear were Jackie’s eager giggles and laughs. “Do me! Me next!” Jackie begged, hopping from toe to toe in front of Joyce. Joyce though gave her a confused look. “Do what?” “That!” She excitedly shouted, pointing at Emily. “That where?” Joyce turned her head, obviously playing dumb. “Like Emily! Over there!” She fully turned this time to point. And now with Joyce in her blind spot, the squeal of a six year old became the new tune as Joyce whisked her in the air and dropped her in the pool, aiming for the shallow end this time. The girl immediately bobbed to the top, courtesy of her floaties, and the rush of excitement already had her begging for more. “Is it warm?” Joyce asked. Emily could only stare with a fire in her eyes. “Hey Em, catch!” Michael shouted from behind. Emily turned in the water at the perfect time for a splash from something hitting the water to hit her face. A worthy cost though for what she had received. “Hm? What did you toss in?” Joyce asked Michael as he walked back from the small shed to his seat. “You’ll see!” But she didn’t see. Not until she felt it first. A sudden gush of water shot like a weaponized faucet at Joyce, starting at her midsection before traveling up to her chest and part of her face. Now Joyce was shouting in protest, shielding herself with a hand. Emily couldn’t stop laughing, now a super soaker in arms. Carol looked to be in love with the spectator’s seat right then, quietly stepping into the shallow end of her own accord. Joyce though put a hand on her hip, assessing the challenge before her. Not a moment more passed until she came diving into the water. A war had begun. “C-c-can we g-g-g-go back in th-the water?” Emily pleaded with chattering teeth, wrapped in a towel standing beside the outdoor table. “Unfortunately, the one drawback to having the heated pool,” Carol agreed with her own slight shivers. “BrrrRRRrrrrRRRrrr!” Jackie exclaimed with giggles, flapping her lips. Next, she started to open and close her mouth in exaggerated motions as she bared her teeth. “Look!” She excitedly grabbed Emily’s attention. “I can do it too!” She kept opening and closing her mouth, making sure to touch her teeth together each time. “D-do what?” Emily asked, looking puzzled. Michael chuckled, hoisting Jackie into the air from behind. “She means being a goofball. Looks like this little sea monster’s all pruned!” He said before playfully grabbing her hand, touching all her small, wrinkly fingers. Still, Emily moved over to Joyce to complain. “Why didn’t we bring those big towels?” She whined. “The ones that are big on me?” Joyce, who was getting the last few strands of wet hair away from her face, gave her an amused smile. “Duly noted, but those are our bathroom towels?” She reminded in a way to insinuate that the laws of the land did not permit such things. “Maybe they make those cape towels with the hoods for adults, too…?” And in that moment, before Emily even thought to oppose such childish things, her mind immediately leaned on the convenience of it. “Oh! Maybe we could ask Amy?” Joyce suggested. And this time, it wasn’t her putting on airs to get a rise out of Emily. “I just need to bring two towels next time...” Emily left it at that. “But until then, somebody needs to make like...an air heater or something. If they can heat a pool, they should heat all the outside stuff around it.” Every adult except for Emily within earshot - so all of them, raised an eyebrow. “Like a...heater?” Michael asked with a small laugh. Emily’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! Like that! Only...” She paused to realize what she was saying. “...Nevermind.” With another laugh out of the way at Emily’s expense, a new topic came up. “Oh, are you planning to have lunch with us?” Michael asked the two. “I know I didn’t give much info over the phone, but that’s what we were planning for.” “As long as we aren’t cutting into your time elsewhere,” Carol added. “Stay!” Jackie commanded, yet in truth disguised by her childlike tact, begged. “Please! Please!” Emily and Joyce shared a brief “why not?” kind of look before mutually nodding. “I don’t see why we wouldn’t?” Joyce decided. It was a resounding joy from the family of three, some more vocal than others (Jackie). “I think I’ll take me and Jackie in first, then,” Michael said standing from his chair. “Less hair on our heads to deal with. Have fun, ladies!” He bid them a temporary farewell as he ushered Jackie along and back into the house. Carol watched them leave with a smile before looking back at them. “Thank you, you two, for playing along with Jackie like that.” Emily smiled and waved it off. “Michael said the same thing; I don’t really mind.” “We don’t really mind?” Joyce butted in with a grin, making Emily feel apologetic. “Sorry...forgot.” Her sheepish attitude naturally gave the other two giggles as they sat down in the chairs while wrapped in towels. “Carol, I hate to admit it, but it’s been eating away at me…” Joyce looked at her with tingles of interest. “What kinds of businesses were you talking about?” Carol nodded, but glanced at Emily for just a second. “Joyce, I don’t mind talking about it, but awfully bold of you when Emily has you on a leash, remember?” Joyce gave Emily what could only be akin to her own version of puppy dog eyes. With an upturned nose and an exaggerated ‘hmmf’, Emily turned her head. “Do as you please! I tried!” With her liability out the window, a corporate war spawning in the simple backyard of a suburban home was no longer her fault. She tried. With her daydreams out of the way though, Emily listened on with a bit of her own curiosity. “Now I feel a bit on the spot...” Carol pretended a nervous laugh. “But, really, it’s nothing as crazy as you think. I’m not some kingpin with a monopoly on the underground drug trade, or anything!” Emily and Joyce laughed, although inside Emily’s mind, a small voice seemed to tell her that the depths of business had no end in sight… “Like I said earlier, I tend to help build up...niche businesses in...niche markets.” Carol explained, albeit cryptically. Emily looked a little shocked before muttering, “D...drugs?” “No! Absolutely not!” Carol dismissed it entirely as Joyce was in stitches and Emily with reddened cheeks. She sighed before her smile came back in full. “Niche doesn’t mean illegal, you know!” She laughed herself despite the push-back. “To be honest, it sort of feels weird to talk about it with anyone outside the business, I suppose...” She pondered her own words for a minute. “Even to my own husband, he finds it strange, understandably.” “Well?” Joyce edged her along. “You’ve definitely built up the suspense now if you hadn’t already?” Carol briefly smirked, yet sighed as she opened it with a preliminary question. “Well...I guess for starters… Do either of you know what a...erm...fetish is? Like a kink or something?” Had the spectral plane been visible, an arching, static shock would have flashed the mother’s eyes as it sprouted between the two heads before her. Emily and Joyce almost simultaneously felt an odd jolt, as if they’d just seen an old friend from an old life suddenly trying to integrate with the new. In other words, it was a sudden sense of discomfort. “Mm...I think I have an idea?” Joyce gave her head the slightest tilt, opting for the sweet, plain vanilla, ignorant role. “I’ve heard of it before...” Emily muttered, “...I think?” Yet in truth, if there had ever been a pep talk to be had before situations like these, bless Emily, but Joyce would ask her to simply say nothing at all. Emily trying to lie about anything even remotely close to her interests, meaning sensitive emotions were involved, was nothing short of wishful thinking. But maybe Joyce was being too over analytical because Carol didn’t comment on it. “Well, I don’t want to go into much detail, for...reasons, but the gist is basically a specific theme, practice, idea - virtually anything, to be honest, that people might take to in a sexual sense.” “Like...roleplay?” Joyce suggested, once more playing the innocent facade. Carol nodded. “That’s an example of it. I’ve heard it can even be on the tamer side… But I’m getting off track. From a business perspective, market potential within any group of consumers is almost always going to be less than the actual size, and the same thing applies to these groups of people tending to their...respective kinks.” Joyce nodded, but Emily only blinked with a neutral look. It was almost surreal for the girl right then, imagining a conversation that involved Joyce, business, and diapers, quite easily two of her favorite things. But in the same sentence? Saying that Carol was talking about diapers definitely was a stretch, but didn’t it fall into that category of kinkdom? It could, but the more Emily thought, maybe not for them…? Meanwhile, in Joyce’s head she was experiencing something a tad bit different. Business and kinks; broad topics she wouldn’t mind peering into. That being said, what she and Emily had...she didn’t see it that way. It wasn’t a momentary pause for her to get her rocks off; Emily either. Joyce didn’t baby Emily for sexual pleasure. No, the much more adult side of things came from their relationship as adults. What they did as a mommy and daughter remained much more pure. Well...remembering their first “trial” night with Emily in diapers nearly made Joyce visibly frown. Unfortunately she crossed a line, trying to “rub” the pleasure into Emily via a wet diaper. Never again… “...And so,” Carol tuned back into their ears, “It works out that supporting many smaller...niche businesses, turns a good living. But, if anyone asks, I’m just a general investor.” She finished with a motion to lock her lips. “...You mentioned roleplay being a kind of kink,” Joyce said, “but what other kinds have you seen in your work?” “Well...” A breath of air escaped Carol’s lips as she thought. “One place was a ‘costume’ shop,” she said in air quotes. “Don’t get me wrong, it was -- high quality costumes, even, with...props. But meant for bedroom play, I guess.” Joyce nodded thoughtfully, though with a look that expected more. “Have either of you heard of something called B-D-S-M?” Carol asked. Emily was the first to nod, but Joyce came a bit slower. “See? Then you already know one kind of kink,” Carol chuckled. “But anyway, it’s of course something couples tend to do in the bedroom and at home, but there are gathering spots for stuff like that. These kinds of places charge you maybe a flat fee or an hourly rate to have access to their themed rooms, props and toys. They have a very...straightforward kind of name? Dungeons.” All things considered the specifics were spared, though even at the level they were Emily wasn’t entirely vocal about what she thought. Only to Joyce had she even mentioned a word about their own kind of play, yet now she was seeing it to the same degree, only in a business sense with a woman she’d just officially met. “Dungeons?” Joyce raised a brow. “I guess that matches the fantasy theme?” Carol’s eyes lit up as she drank from her glass. “Good point! Never thought of that! Oh! And another one -- it didn’t pan out, but there was this store having to do with giant animal costumes and fur...” It was an example that truly rang no bells for either Emily or Joyce, hence their confused look. “But I think you two get the point,” Carol transitioned with a wave of her own clouded mind. “Well, if I ever think of sprouting my own business like that, I’ll know who to call?” Joyce grinned. “Please, give me a call and every cent I can invest is yours!” Carol begged with a laugh. “Frankly I wouldn’t want myself at the head of that kind of operation,” Joyce spoke reflexively. “It goes without saying since I’ve said it once, but all that kind of stuff is beyond my scope of knowledge...” “But what it sounds like is investing yourself wouldn’t be off the table?” Joyce shrugged in defense of her opportunistic nature. “What can I say? If it looks promising...” “If you’d like, I’m attending a dinner party a few weeks from now? If you really are serious, I can put you through to some serious business opportunities?” “Oh? They just let anyone come? Especially for such...private stuff like that?” Joyce asked skeptically. “No, they don’t,” Carol said, “which is interesting in a way, considering vetting your investor pool is like shooting yourself in the foot... But it leads to a healthier relationship, knowing that there’s some mutual understanding to begin with. Either way, my word should go far enough to vouch for you.” “So it’s settled, then?” Joyce had a slightly giddy look, to which Emily rolled her eyes at. “Oh? Trouble in paradise?” Carol grinned with her eyes on Emily. “What?” Joyce whined at Emily defensively, to which she sighed. “When I said no business talks in the car, I was mostly kidding, but I didn’t actually expect you to do business while we were here!” “Uh-oh, somebody’s in trouble!” Carol laughed. “It would appear so...” Joyce agreed. “How about we exchange numbers before we leave after lunch?” “Sounds like a plan.” Carol nodded. Joyce looked back at Emily who was quiet, yet obstinate. “What?” Joyce exaggerated. “Not happy with that?” “Outta sight, outta mind...” Emily relented with her own smile. “No! They can sleep over!” Jackie begged as she continued to tug on Carol’s pants. Michael and Carol were seeing Emily and Joyce off at the door, but their time spent at the residence was the perfect amount for the once shy little girl to finally warm up to her guests. Emily tried to be the gentle voice of reason. “Jackie, as much as we’d like, we didn’t bring any PJs?” “I have some!” Jackie was quick on the rebound with hope in her eyes. Emily had tried, and her mouth hung slightly agape, finding her own response just as obvious...yet hard to place. Michael and Carol naturally stood above their daughter, smirking as their daughter tried to fight for the impossible. “Goes to show how much Jackie sees you two as friends more than just grown-ups.” Carol laughed. “Jackie, I don’t think they’ll fit in your PJs, sweetheart...” Michael said to her. “They can use Mommy’s!” Jackie then shifted tactics. “Joyce’d probably be fine...” Carol quietly remarked, though her words had been all used up once the unspoken said quite the opposite about the smaller Emily. “Not the point, though! Jackie, Emily and Joyce have their own home to get back to. We’ll see them again.” “Soon?” Jackie dearly asked. “Soon.” Joyce answered for Carol. “When?” Certainly, this girl did not seem to skip a single beat. “Alright,” Michael cut in, hoisting Jackie into the air. “Enough twenty questions out of you, missy.” “But I wanna know~uh!” Jackie whined in an exaggerated tone. “And you will once that information is declassified, private.” Michael asserted in a general’s tone. “What’s dee-classih-fide?” “I’m afraid that’s classified.” And then the frustrated giggles ensued, seeming to shift Jackie’s focus away. Carol came to their rescue, seeing them out the front door while Michael had Jackie in arms. “Bye Michael, bye Jackie!” Emily waved, and so did Joyce. “Thanks again for having us,” Emily said to Carol as they walked down the steps and over to the car. “Don’t even mention it. In all honest truth, it was mostly our daughter that kept a fire lit under Michael all week, so I’ve heard. She would not stop talking about you, Emily!” She laughed. “To be honest, I didn’t really know what to expect meeting you two, but I’m really glad for us to have met.” “Michael and I had talked about meeting again, but I guess it was sort of half-hearted at first?” Joyce similarly agreed, feeling less shy about admitting her reservations now. “Same here though, I’m glad this worked out.” “Glad you got business...” Emily murmured from the corner of her mouth. Joyce with a rosy smile gave a little giggle as she continued to face Carol. “Jackie’s such a nice kid. I’ve seen too many that have no real discipline... And speaking of which, I need to go give some to Emily after all these snide comments she’s been making to me today?” “Hah?! What?” Emily stammered. “Honestly, you two can’t catch a break, can ya?” Carol cracked up. “Anyway, Joyce, we’ll be in touch. Emily, lovely meeting you the proper way this time! Hope to see you both again soon! I better get back inside before Jackie can wriggle her way back outside. Drive home safe, you two!” And with Carol seeing them off from the steps as they pulled away, the get-together was over. “That was fun,” Joyce was the first to say. “Would it have been fun if you didn’t get invited to an investor’s dinner?” Emily cracked. “Of course it would have.” Joyce answered plainly. Then, after some pause, “Just...without some glow to it...” “Uh-huh?” Emily giggled before her tone made a slight shift. “More importantly though, I can’t believe what kind of work Carol does...I sorta got the chills when it hit so close to home...” “You too?” Joyce chuckled. “Gosh, it’s somewhat of a joke, but it seems like even when we take every kind of precaution, that kind of stuff always seems to find its way back to us...” “Haunting of the babydom...” Emily sighed, already with an imaginative name in mind. “And hang on, that investor thing Carol invited you to, are you really gonna go?” “I don’t see why not? Maybe I’ll find something I find interesting.” She wasn’t well-versed in kinks, and especially not when it came to business. “Yeah but it’s all kink stuff… All I mean is that you tend to mention about keeping the really sensitive stuff private and separated from your career. Wouldn’t it be bad for your reputation if someone recognized you there?” In a world where Emily had no shame, the only thing stopping Joyce from giving Emily a leisurely diaper change wherever they may be in public was guarding her own business image… And Emily’s own embarrassment, of course... Joyce nodded thoughtfully. “It could certainly cause issues, but being called out as an investor for that type of thing wouldn’t necessarily be damaging. Slightly surprising, at best. I thought about it a little more, but it’s a good thing that they vet their investors for these kinds of things. Not only does it keep interests at heart, but it does add a layer of privacy to it.” “As long as you’re okay with it.” Emily said back, holding Joyce’s wellbeing above all else. From the driver’s seat she smiled and with a free hand squeezed Emily’s thigh. “Thank you for worrying about me!” Emily puffed her cheeks with a slight blush as she turned her gaze to the passenger window. “Well...you’d do the same for me...” “Absolutely. No matter what.” Both sat on either end of the corner to the couch in the living room, sharing in the silence, save for the faint noises from the city streets far below. Joyce and Emily seemed pensive as they sat there, somewhat formal and struggling to figure out what they wanted to say. “I figured this’d be a good time as any to set us back on track...” Joyce said. “Mm.” Emily nodded. “Emily, I--” “Wait!” She blurted out, cutting Joyce off. “I...I wanna make it very clear before we talk about this stuff. I know you’re a lot more worried about how we do this now...and you being my mommy… But, I said it before: whenever I was being your baby, I never had any real issues with it. Nothing I wanted to address. What I wanted to make clear was when we weren’t in that headspace, sometimes it’d feel like it bleeds over. So, I don’t wanna put any limits on what we do when we’re intending to do it. Just...outside of that space.” Joyce held a look of silence and surprise, taking it all in, right until she burst. “Hah...thank goodness.” She sighed with relief before collapsing somewhat into the couch. “I said so before, didn’t I?” Emily reminded, scooching a little closer across the couch. “You did, but...I dunno, part of me still thought we might have to reshape what we intended to have. But no,” she sat back up straight, looking more serious. “I completely agree with you. I don’t want you taking any responsibility for this; it’s my fault for being too...motherly when I’m not being a mother, but a girlfriend.” “However,” Emily raised an important finger into the air. “Let it not be confused with being cutesy,” she explained in a professional, exaggerated manner. “The defendant is more than allowed to continue that.” Joyce couldn’t stop laughing. “Duly noted! No more jokes right now though, I want to treat this seriously. It’s important to me that we both feel like we’re respecting each other's boundaries. Emily, at the end of the day you are my number one priority, so what you say goes. I promise to do better when we’re both acting like adults, but I don’t want you to hesitate in calling me out when I’m doing something I shouldn’t be.” “Just call you right out?” Emily asked. “Yes. I don’t want to put you in an awkward spot.” “But...I guess I was thinking about that too. I guess you could call it a safeword, maybe...” A safe word, meant to be the hard stop or red switch that’d cease any type of kink play. “You want a safeword?” Joyce asked, neutral in tone, but truthfully with her own sort of reservations. In her mind that kind of association almost immediately tainted what they had. In any other case it made perfect sense and she saw no harm, rather, encouraged it. That was for kinks and fetish play though. Was that what Emily saw this as…? “Sort of...” Emily answered. “But not for when we’re a mommy and baby!” She quickly corrected herself, remembering just what they had meant to Joyce. “If there was ever a problem then, we can just talk to each other in the moment… I mean a safeword for when we’re in public, when we are just Emily and Joyce. Maybe a discreet way of letting you know that you’re doing something that bothers me…or when I’m bothering you. “So a safeword...for when we’re both adults?” Joyce clarified, a bit confused, seeing that to be the exact opposite scenario where you’d want to have a hard-stop like that... In any other traditional sense, wouldn’t the safeword be in the private sector and the casual talks in the public one? Joyce tried not to crack a grin. It was only Emily that could come up with something as out of the box as this...But as odd as it was, maybe their unique relationship thus far is what seemed to make it click for Joyce. “What do you think?” Emily then asked, looking self-conscious. “I guess I kind of agree that I don’t readily like a safeword either, especially when you’re my mommy...it makes it feel like it’s something less than real...and I don’t want that.” “I think that’s a good idea,” Joyce smiled. “It gives me a safe reminder and it doesn’t affect what we already do.” It was then a moment of mutual relief. Both had been dreading the “talk” up until now, but like most suspenseful moments, it overshadowed the reality completely. Now in place of that inhibiting and awkward knot that had seemed to bog them down since Mary and Frank’s visit, was a feeling of liberation. Everything was right again, and maybe after such trials and tribulations they were stronger because of it. Emily couldn’t hide her excited smile. “...Mm...but...” Joyce started with a difficult expression, to which already rained on Emily’s parade. “Huh? What is it?” She asked. “Well, I know what we both want, and we’re definitely on the same page...but, I guess I just want some extra clarification as to what you want.” “What I want?” Emily mimicked. “I want the usual stuff...what you want.” Joyce furrowed her brow, tutting like a detective without all the clues. “Yes, and I completely understand that. I suppose I just need something verbatim. I want to hear clearly what you want, Emily.” And for a moment the corners of her mouth perked up, immediately confirming Emily’s suspicions. “D-directly?” Emily stuttered slightly, suddenly feeling much less forthcoming about her desires. Already she was in Joyce’s trap. Joyce’s expression lit up, making approving noises as she nodded her head attentively. “Yes! Just let me know what you want, and that’s what we’ll do.” Emily narrowed her gaze, thinking before she answered. “...I want what you want...” Joyce chuckled, in the sort of way that Emily could tell was partly forced, but also spurred by amusement. “I know you do, silly! But, I need something a bit more specific to go off of? After all, I want a lot of things?” She didn’t bother hiding her grin this time. Now things were starting to feel familiar, namely because of how hot Emily’s cheeks were feeling. “F-fine...” She paused for a deep breath. “I-I...I want you to...” She murmured something intelligible at the end. “Hm?” Joyce leaned in. “I didn’t quite hear that last part… Could you please repeat that for me?” “I said I want you to ba…--...me...” “Emily,” Joyce attentively said in a soft, yet authoritative voice, “louder, sweetheart.” “I said I want you to baby me!” Emily finally shouted back. “Ohh, I thought that might’ve been it!” Joyce planted a fist in her palm as if the lightbulb only shined just then. “Of course I’ll baby you, silly!” Joyce feigned another laugh whilst Emily looked to be just as flustered as always. Emily was simply glad to have gotten through the spectacle. Once again, a hard lesson learned when it came to thinking she could tease Joyce and get away with it unscathed. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Balance was restored, at least… Then, Joyce rose a finger to her chin, humming a thought. “Mm...but...” But? Emily felt a brief moment of fear, surprised by the continuation. “Maybe I’m being the silly one!” Joyce laughed. “I think I may have forgotten what you like about me babying you...” She put her hands together as if making a request of Emily. “Could you possibly remind me some more?” Emily’s eye nearly twitched. This woman didn’t want equilibrium, she wanted domination. “I like it when...you call me by my nickname...” “Your nickname?” “E-Emmy...” “Emmy! Of course!” Again, Joyce pretended to have a revelation. “Such a cute name for such a cute girl! And? What else?” What else? Emily internally groaned. Was she really going to put her through this? “When you make me my special drink...” “Uh-huh! Served up safe and secure in your ba-ba~! Anything else?” “When I get to wear cute clothes...” “Anything you wear is cute!” Joyce chuckled. “But I get what you mean.” She still gave the look that expected Emily to continue. “When I get big stuffed animals...” “Mhm?” “When I get my own special seat...” “Your high-chair?” She smiled. “When you force me to take naps, even when I don’t wanna.” “Otherwise you’ll get cranky.” Joyce passively commented. “When you give me baths.” “Cleanliness is prettiness!” “And...when I call you Mommy!” Emily said with a sudden outburst, catching Joyce a bit off guard. Though, Joyce quickly softened into a warm smile. “An absolute given and inalienable rule.” Joyce smiled wide. “Now come on, what’s the last one?” Emily’s bravado was gone hearing that. Somehow, she knew that Joyce knew, or it meant that they were thinking of the same thing. “And I like...” “Like...what?” Joyce asked. “...Diapers...” “Diapers?” “I like wearing diapers!” Emily said. “When you check and change me...” She was feeling lightheaded. In an aggravated tone she said, “I’m sorry for teasing you! Is that everything you wanted to hear?!” Joyce scooched even closer, pulling her into a hug as she giggled. “Everything and more!”