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For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.


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    • Below consent age nasty stuff.   If I'm understanding German law correctly simply writing about consenting adults with an infant in an one room apartment having sex is CP.
    • That's where my chapter 1-3 link goes, and I'm pretty sure I saw 4, 5, 6, and 7 too.
    • "I didn't mean a game as in you were doing this for the fun of it, sweetheart.  I know you were in trouble, and you took an out that presented itself, though it did put you in a peculiar situation, and because I wanted to see a child, has put me in the same web, now." He sighed. He saw her move a little strangely and mutter something.   Seeing her age on her license, he put it in his wallet and in his own pocket. "Well, we can't have this getting out right now, baby.  We need to figure out what we are going to do so you don't end up on the streets, and so I don't end up losing the job over fraud, being that I lied about having custody of a "child," you." Larry looked at her. He sighed.  "You don't want to go back out on the streets or go home, do you?" he asked her trying to get her permission to enact a plan.  "And you don't want to worry about trying to get back into school at the same college where the teachers that worry you are still possible professors you could get stuck with, do you?" He frowned as he thought about it, and it was blackmail, but it wasn't meant to be mean.  He was just trying to make her see reason that if she followed his plan, she wouldn't have anything negative happening to her, going back to her parents a failure, being stuck on the streets, or having to face a college that probably already had rumors floating around about her being in trouble for academic fraud. "I need a child to stay with me to keep the house we were promised," he told her.  "And you do need a place to stay if you don't want to end up on the streets again.  You don't have the skills to hold down a job, sweetheart.  Even with all the bad luck you've run into, you still acted like a child with me all the way up until now.  You can maybe say it was an act, only, some of what you were doing, was unconsciously like a child.  I took you to eat, and you knew I didn't have a lot of money, but like a child, you wanted to order the most possible I'd give you.  That's a child's mind, sweetheart.  Children don't understand the full concept of money and how hard it is to get.  That's why you were unable to understand why you were fired from your lower end job.  Getting sick was unhandy, but they don't fire you for getting so sick you can't work.  They fired you because you missed Too much work, sweetie.  And you've been out on the streets, just peeing yourself, and haven't done anything about trying to figure out why you are doing it, have you?  You know, before I assume, how long have you been wetting the bed?  It normally starts small, and when you are not aware of it before it gets as bad as it is... so that will be important to tell the doctor anyway.  How long have you been neglecting or thinking it was nothing before it got bad enough that it is now very inconvenient, sweetie?" He rubbed her leg. He was trying to take it slow, but she needed to understand that just going back to what she was doing, was not going to ever get a better result.  She needed help.
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