Proposal: Incontinence Desires sub-forum rules – read BEFORE posting

[oznl]

I’m wondering, if in light of recent events it is time for us to salvage something positive and perhaps use it as a spring board to update and fortify the “sticky” post about the rules for this sub-forum.  Allow me to propose a sticky post per below:

 

TITLE: Incontinence Desires sub-forum rules – read BEFORE posting

 

This is the INCONTINENCE DESIRES forum and it can be a controversial topic.  Because of this, in addition the standard DailyDiapers rules, there are some rules specific to this forum.  You need to READ, UNDERSTAND and ABIDE by these in order to post in this place.

1. If you strongly object to the idea of “incontinence desires” and want to share that with people, you shouldn’t be posting here
2. If you are here to “preach the truth”, “warn the lost” or “say the hard things nobody wants to hear” then unless you are sharing NEW, academically rigorous, verifiable and relevant information (which let’s face it, is unlikely), you shouldn’t be posting here
3. If you are here to tell people you think they are sick, insane or some other form of incorrect because they have ideas you don’t like, you REALLY shouldn’t be posting here (or possibly anywhere else).
4. If you are here to advocate DIY surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts, you shouldn’t be posting here

Moderators will abide by, and also enforce others to abide by these standards.  Don’t get yourself banned.

If you need a reminder, here are the “standard” DailyDiapers rules:

The short version...

• Don't be an ass.We reserve the right to store, process, reuse, edit or remove content you post for any reason at any time.

The long version...

• Do not use hate speech. This includes but is not limited to homophobia, racism and sexism.
• Do not post pictures or videos which contain human genitalia or feces.
• Do not spam or repeatedly post the same information (tip: use the search function).
• Do not harass other users.
• Do not use profanity excessively.
• Do not post any information which would identify another person outside of the forum. (NB: Linking to news articles which identify people is acceptable - as long as the source site maintains a reasonable standard of journalistic integrity.
• Report content you feel is inappropriate to the site staff using the "Report" links provided. Do not resort to vigilantism.

[DiapergirlWB]

I'd be good with this. I get sooo angry when people come here to be all doom and gloom.   If permanent IC could be achieved with a single pill or quick easy treatment then we would definitely need some testimonials from bot the happy and the regretful.  But it takes a very long time and is a lot of work to achieve if ever.  You will be living with IC long before you are living with IC.  If you go through all that effort and time and then decide I screwed up why didn't anyone tell me you are literally just stupid.

 

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Given that this is a DESIRES subforum, it is therefore not a medical issue. Also, it is a matter of choice. Given all of that, it really belongs in Our Lifestyle Discussion and certainly should not be an Incontinence Medical subforum as it may offend many who are medically IC and live with that absent any choic, the same as I would be offended by fully-sighted persons trying to live as legally blind; and so are the vast majority of ophthamologists

[incondl]

28 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

Given that this is a DESIRES subforum, it is therefore not a medical issue. Also, it is a matter of choice. Given all of that, it really belongs in Our Lifestyle Discussion and certainly should not be an Incontinence Medical subforum as it may offend many who are medically IC and live with that absent any choic, the same as I would be offended by fully-sighted persons trying to live as legally blind; and so are the vast majority of ophthamologists

Wrong forum? This is incontinence desires

[BrownBobby]

1 hour ago, Little Christine said:

Given that this is a DESIRES subforum, it is therefore not a medical issue. Also, it is a matter of choice. Given all of that, it really belongs in Our Lifestyle Discussion and certainly should not be an Incontinence Medical subforum as it may offend many who are medically IC and live with that absent any choic, the same as I would be offended by fully-sighted persons trying to live as legally blind; and so are the vast majority of ophthamologists

I don't agree with the context expressing this idea and the tone used...but it's still an excellent idea.  It may make sense logically to group the topic of incontinence together, but keeping these two groups together is creating unnecessary friction that can be solved by simply moving one of them. It only makes sense to move the smaller.

I have some mild concerns over how the sub forum will fare with the visibility of the main "lifestyle" group...but it's not enough to disagree with moving the sub-forum into it.

 

 

[t1507885@nwytg.net]

The medical forum is the "inside" and we are on the "outside".
The Desire Forum may be a door, but I don't think it deserves to be a sub-forum of the Medical Forum.

I think it would like if the whole thing were renamed the General Incontinence Forum, with sub-forums within it for medical, bedwetter, and desire.
But from the perspective of the "inside", we are nothing more than incontinence wannabes. I don't think we should be told not to come inside.

[~Brian~]

MY STATEMENT REGARDING MY STATUS AND INCONTINENCE

I just wanted to say, that I have been IC on and off since I was a kid.  This is due to my disability and mobility limitations.  My IC got worse in 2019, because I could NOT control what was going on, so I asked the doctor for help, got diapers, went through the HELL of making a mess in the cheap diapers, before getting my megamax diapers.  When that happened, and I got the proper equipment to deal with it, I felt better.  I want to say that I ALSO had the DESIRE to wear diapers earlier in life, and was searching for answers for over 25 YEARS.  Daily Diapers has helped me SO MUCH, and I cant thank this place enough - I can say with CERTAINTY  that DD has helped me to accept and deal with my incontinence, and my FEELINGS and DESIRES as well.  When I was younger, I had the DESIRE to wear diapers and had all these "feelings" that I did NOT understand - until I came RIGHT HERE - YES - Right HERE, on DD, on THIS FORUM  - I was LOST at that time, and didn't know what the hell was going on - I had these intense feelings, and I was NOT sure WHY I had them, or if it was RIGHT/OK to be feeling this way.  In 2019, I finally decided that I needed diapers, and I KNEW where to go - Daily Diapers - because I knew the people here understand BOTH the medical diagnosis of IC, as well as the DESIRE to be IC.  

Regardless of what happens, I AM IC, and I am not ashamed or worried about it anymore, and after awhile the GUILT and the SHAME went away, because it is a part of me.  Diapers help me with the MEDICAL part of the puzzle, and they also help me with the DESIRES/FEELINGS that diapers bring forward - I simply got sick of having accidents, being worried about what people would say, and being shunned or made fun of because I wear and use:  We ALL know that IC has its advantages and disadvantages, and that is a given, but there may be folks who may be searching for answers, and they may question both the IC - Medical side, as well as the IC - Desires side, and need support, like all of you here have given me, and I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, for without you all, and a bunch of support from close friends, colleagues and family members I would be one messed up guy.  The BEAUTY of DD is that you CAN discuss BOTH the medical side, as well as those that DESIRE IC, and are allowed to discuss this topic - I would HATE to see this forum removed, and I mean that, because the people who desire IC are important, as are the people who are medically IC, and we can't forget that, and should NOT forget that. 

We are ALL here, because we ARE either Incontinent, Disabled, or Searching experiencing our journeys, or all three things -   How we became IC comes into play when people may ask any of us how we got to the finish line.  I don't care what disability you have, or claim to have, but I RESPECT the fact that there are people who are disabled, and have [BDD for example] disabilities, and I am NOT going to debate or question whether someone has a disability, because that is none of my business, unless someone discloses that to us, but I also try to defend people when necessary, because I don't want to see people upset because someone does not understand their disability or what they go through, because well, that isn't cool, and I have had to do that many times, when my non-disabled friends made "fun" of those friends that were:  I WON'T do that, because I want to understand what people like Mr. @Ferix go though - I am the kind of guy that has compassion for those that deal with stuff like this, and well, I DO understand that BDD is what can drive people to WANT to do what @Ferix and others may want, because they want it so badly......... I RESPECT @Ferix, what he wants to do, his opinions, and observations:  ALTHOUGH I WILL state that:  I would NOT do it the way he wants to, because it would be a bad idea for ME - I would prefer to just do what @FretaBWet suggests:  "Wear a diaper 24/7 for everything," which does not involve any Body Modifications/surgery to accomplish - but that is MY opinion on the subject, and regardless of what happens, it will not change, but I RESPECT all opinions, even if I don't agree with them! ?

I want EVERYONE to know that I support you all the way, and I know it can be difficult sometimes, but we find ways to deal with it, in our own way, and I am here to try to help others, because you helped ME in my journey.  I don't want this forum shutdown either, because, regardless of how you became IC, this forum has valuable information to offer people, as they question themselves and dream of IC, or what they would be able to do because of it [Wear Diapers and use them, and have NO control at all]  I drempt o that for a LONG time, and NOW that I AM IC, I can deal with the medical side, and deal with those "feelings" that wearing and using diapers elicit - My Reality now, was a DESIRE when I was in my Mid 20s and 30s, and it is NOT going anywhere - I am what I am, and that is that!

 

MY TAKE ON THE "PROPOSED RULES" FOR THIS FORUM

11 hours ago, oznl said:

1.  If you strongly object to the idea of “incontinence desires” and want to share that with people, you shouldn’t be posting here

RESPONSE:  I DO NOT "object" to the idea of "incontinence desires" at ALL:  I can tell you that secretly, I wished I could wear diapers, and being IC One Way or BOTH ways is the ONLY way I thought that this could be achieved.  You could also just wear a diaper and that would deal with the "feelings/urges" that you experience.  That is just my opinion and like I say above, I respect everyone here, their disability status, and all that - Hell, I LIVE with Cerebral Palsy Every day, and my IC is part of that - I get it - we don't want people to strongly oppose what people dream about and strive for, because that ruins it for everyone else - However, does that mean that I, because of medical IC, and my desires, should feel bad because I want to post my experiences here? 

11 hours ago, oznl said:

2.  If you are here to “preach the truth”, “warn the lost” or “say the hard things nobody wants to hear” then unless you are sharing NEW, academically rigorous, verifiable and relevant information (which let’s face it, is unlikely), you shouldn’t be posting here

RESPONSE: There may be people who may ask us about "what is it like to be IC", or Ask "Why do you desire to do this"  and when they do, I don't see how letting people who post here know that IC is not for the faint of heart, and that is not all fun and games, and that you accept responsibility if you do wish to become incontinent because you REALLY want to - We all KNOW the truth here, and that is a given, but there may be others that may wonder, and ask us, and I don't see a problem with saying it ONCE to them - To do that in a RESPECTFUL manner is the way I would do that.  I don't think we have to "warn the lost" and that is because if they are coming here, they may want to get information from this site, and they can do that by going to IC - Medical, if they have questions, concerns or want to learn about what we IC people deal with, and it is  OK if they don't understand what is going on, because that is why they are here.  BOTH forums provide different information, and give you options, it just means you have to make a decision, whether you are going to do it, and you also have to make the decision on whether the information provided is something they believe.  That is on the user that is researching the information.   I also don't need to "say the hard things no one wants to hear", in my opinion, because we already KNOW what we deal with:  We have Desires, and that is the purpose of this forum, and we've heard it all before, but, alas, I think that people would still do that.

I am not a medical professional so I would NOT know of any "New academically rigorous, verifiable and relevant information."  so I am not sure how to take that, other than to say that right now, I don't consider this an issue because:  I DON'T WANT to, nor would I try to challenge someones DESIRES, because they are there, ladies and gents, and they won't go away, and BDD is a disability, for example, but I'm not challenging BDD, or what it drives you to want/need - that would be disrespectful to those, like @Ferixthat deal with it, and others that do as well - I am NOT here to do that - In FACT, I want to understand BDD, so I am better equipped to deal with responses, or to help others!

11 hours ago, oznl said:

3.  If you are here to tell people you think they are sick, insane or some other form of incorrect because they have ideas you don’t like, you REALLY shouldn’t be posting here (or possibly anywhere else).

RESPONSE: I would NEVER state that someone is any of those things:  I am, and would be concerned however, if  a person posts something, and it is evident that someone may need or is in need of professional help.  Diapers help a lot of people, so that is a given.  If someone starts something, and starts saying things like that, you can do ONE of two things:  Respond to the poster and rebut what they said, or Hit that REPORT button, and an admin will deal with that individual(s) post, and decide what they will do - that is the best way, especially if you don't think something seems right - It will be up to the admin team to decide what will happen, but it is incumbent on all of us to take care of one another, and reporting things that are out of the ordinary or offensive, is what we can do for that.

11 hours ago, oznl said:

4.  If you are here to advocate DIY surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts, you shouldn’t be posting here

RESPONSE:  I DO NOT advocate for anything that would HURT anyone:  Any medical procedures should be performed by licensed medical providers.  "DIY" surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts is what I am saying I don't agree with.  This DOES NOT mean that people won't dream about this desire, and want/need  this desire any LESS than they do NOW:  In my mind, people WILL desire what they desire, and as someone put it, NO amount of someone telling you the "truth" about IC, or your desire is likely gonna change someone's mind, because even if I, being incontinent and disabled, told the "truth" it's not gonna change people's minds, because their desire is there, and frankly, I would HATE to see someone get hurt, that's all I am trying to say here!  I hope you understand.

11 hours ago, oznl said:

Moderators will abide by, and also enforce others to abide by these standards.  Don’t get yourself banned.

RESPONSE:  As always, Moderators will and should enforce the Rules in @DailyDi's house!  I am sure they are quite familiar with them, and deal with this effectively.  This DOES NOT mean that a Moderator/admin does not have an opinion on a subject, or that sometimes it can get heated, and some of us may agree with it, while some of us may disagree with it.   We don't always have to agree with or like someone's response, but as long as the response is respectful, and is someone's opinion. I would simply state your position, and let it be - The beauty of DD is that you CAN disagree, and you don't have the fear of someone coming in and zapping your thread or post unless you are WAAAAAY Afoul of the rules - Then, action can be taken if they think it necessary!

EPILOGUE: WHAT NEXT?

I want to continue to  able to post here as well, and I think I have tried to be open-minded, and tried to understand each other's situations - It has been hard for me as of late, because NOW I have to make the decision as to whether or not I should be posting in here.  In ALL my posts in here, and in other forums, I have tried HARD to make sure I am NOT insensitive to anyone's Disability Status, or desires, and respectful to everyone.  I may have my opinions, and I will state them, but I would hope that whatever happens. someone does not harbor any "ill will" toward me:  I still am experiencing my "Journey", so that is something that will continue, and I plan on posting MY "journey thread" in here as well - We are ALL here for one reason or another, and all I ask is that we respect each other, and continue to support each other, because we are in this thing for the "long haul" and each of us has their ups and downs, and we should be supportive of each other

8 hours ago, DiapergirlWB said:

I get sooo angry when people come here to be all doom and gloom.   If permanent IC could be achieved with a single pill or quick easy treatment then we would definitely need some testimonials from bot the happy and the regretful.  But it takes a very long time and is a lot of work to achieve if ever. 

@DiapergirlWB

IC can suck for some people, because they deal with it and they have no outlet to deal with it.  In my case, I am IC both ways, and I am a DL, and have been like this since I was 8 years old.  This is how I deal with it - I am IC medically, and I LIKE diapers, and I always have for some reason.  If someone finds a way to deal with their IC by being a DL or an AB, or whatever, that is COOL: and they should do that, As that is the way that you can do that, but it may not be the only way to do that, because you may have other ways that I am not aware of:  Right now, wearing diapers, using them, and being seen in them does NOT bother me, so I have accepted what and who I am, and I am PROUD  of it!

Incontinence does not have to be all "Doom and Gloom", but some people may think that:  Sure, its not easy - People have to understand, and I believe many do, that you can't just become IC by diapering yourself and waiting, or your gonna be waiting a LOOOOOOONG time, and YES it is hard and takes TIME to become IC that way, because you have to "Undo" what your potty training did, and then, when you finally achieve IC, then you would need to wear and use diapers 24/7/365, because you may not have the control you once had, and you would have to "retrain" if you wanted it back, which is hard to do, and I agree that if someone Does do all the work to become IC, and than wants to undo it, it would be silly, if they think its easy to go back - It isn't

Respectfully,

Brian

[DiapergirlWB]

On the topic of offending medically IC people:  If they have such a strong feeling on being IC that people who wish they were IC drive bother them that much Why would you intentionally go to this sub forum? 

I am a right below the knee amputee, I know there are people out there that desire to be one.   Do I find it offensive? not even close.  It's their lives.  What they do with it does not effect me in any way shape or form.  I never understand why so many get sooooo bent out of shape over what others do that in no way affects anything in their own lives.  If I decide to live like I am IC does it in any way change someone who is medically IC life? 

99% of us in here are just fantasizing and nothing will ever come of our fantasy.  people need to calm down.

@~Brian~   

The doom and gloom I was talking about is the people who come in to berate us saying how much we will regret...blah blah blah

[CodHero24]

"Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right."

-RICKY GERVAIS

Everybody should read this post.

I have incontinence desires, and I also have Incontinence!!!

I am a Bedwetter because of YEARS of Diaper use during the day and night!

It didn't even take very long of wearing diapers for fun before I started having Accidents at night.

I wore GoodNites and Depends during Highschool for fun, and started bedwetting in College!

It's very possible to be on both parts of the spectrum.

 

[~Brian~]

7 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

On the topic of offending medically IC people:  If they have such a strong feeling on being IC that people who wish they were IC drive bother them that much Why would you intentionally go to this sub forum? 

I am a right below the knee amputee, I know there are people out there that desire to be one.   Do I find it offensive? not even close.  It's their lives.  What they do with it does not effect me in any way shape or form.  I never understand why so many get sooooo bent out of shape over what others do that in no way affects anything in their own lives.  If I decide to live like I am IC does it in any way change someone who is medically IC life? 

99% of us in here are just fantasizing and nothing will ever come of our fantasy.  people need to calm down.

@~Brian~   

The doom and gloom I was talking about is the people who come in to berate us saying how much we will regret...blah blah blah

@DiapergirlWB

I totally Understand what you are saying:  People who wish to be IC can wish to be that way, and have all the feelings they do, and have the opinions they do, and it does NOT bother me either, because that is a choice or a condition that they seek, for whatever reason.  In fact the reason I went 24/7 in diapers is because of the problems I experienced, and now, it seems that that every day I THANK GOD that I made the decision I did:  I need to be in a position where I don't have to sweat it, or worry anymore, and when my IC came back with a vengeance,  I had no way to control it, but I knew diapers would help me:  It is a LOT easier to live my life this way now, and I accept it, because my CP has gotten worse, and I don't wanna fall over or hurt something trying to be Superman getting to the bathroom - Diapers helped me, this forum helped me, this SITE helped me, and there are good people here, and I try to respect them all, and I am GLAD I am here, and truth be told, I don't know why I wasn't here  YEARS ago - but that cannot be helped, and I am here NOW, and I am glad I am here

18 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

99% of us in here are just fantasizing and nothing will ever come of our fantasy.  people need to calm down.

Agreed:  I understand that you are all fantasizing, and I have desires myself - I will always have those desires, but diapers help me deal with my mental health as well as my physical and emotional health - I never realized how much more confident I am in myself because I can whip IC in the tail by meeting it, and dealing with it - I feel more complete now, as I now don't have to hide my truth anymore:  I am INCON-DL, and that is that   I think that it will work itself out in the end - and people will "calm down" as you said.

26 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

@~Brian~   

The doom and gloom I was talking about is the people who come in to berate us saying how much we will regret...blah blah blah

I understand:  We all have desires and wishes and fantasies, and as such, we dream for something to happen, and sometimes it may come true, while other things will not, but we still dream don't we?  I understand that "doom and gloom" that people refer to is in relation to someone berating us, and telling us what we will regret.  Sure, there are regrets, and issues people that are IC face, but I am sure that people that DESIRE the condition they seek, are already aware of the pitfalls, and know of the regrets and pitfalls - I have arthritis and it sucks, but I deal with that, and sometimes I wish I could not hurt, but I'm gonna hurt, and I can't dream that away or fantasize about that, because it is real:  We all know that there are things that we will probably regret, but, hey, they don't understand the POSITIVES of being IC, and using diapers for whatever reason:  I don't have to hurt myself getting to the bathroom, or worry anymore, because i have my diapers on, and can wet and or mess as needed, and my diapers help me deal with that, and that is optimum for me That's why I decided to go 24/7/365 - How else do you deal with your MEDICAL diagnosis, and deal with your DESIRE?  Wear Diapers 24/7 - It isn't bad, and if you have what you need to deal with it, its not terrible, but it can be inconvenient at  times.

Respectfully Yours,

Brian

 

[rusty pins]

I agree.  This is the forum for those who want to become incontinent by choice.  Others have no rights to flame them or talk against that.  I have gone as far as pointing out to make sure being permanently incontinent it's really what you want, especially the young ones who have 50 or more years of life left to go, but it is their forum and their choice no matter how others may feel.

With that in mind, there is a forum here for people who are medically incontinent, and it is, "Medical Issues Forum for those who live with incontinence, bedwetting, IBS etc..."  Those who are all for making themselves incontinent for their personal enjoyment equally have no right to down talk those who are dealing with actual incontinence and wanting ideas and other possible options besides wearing bulky diapers to deal with their incontinence out of it.  It's their forum, too, to deal with issues that medically incontinent people deal with, including ways and helpful tips other than diapers to handle it.   

[Elfy]

Just to let people know these ideas have been noted and are being discussed at the moment

[foreverdl]

I would Love to have a part of the site without condemning us for wanting to pee without knowing it If this is going to be that I Love it. Have had the diaper fantasy's as long as I can remember even as a child. I have worn 24/7 since about 2013. I just wish I could pee without knowing it. I also have developed the prostate lock up and fir the youngsters that want to complain about me wanting to pee good luck when you get to my age.

[zzyzx]

3 hours ago, foreverdl said:

I also have developed the prostate lock up and fir the youngsters that want to complain about me wanting to pee good luck when you get to my age.

@foreverdl

Concerning your prostate issue, I assume you have discussed this with one (or more) Urologists.

I don't know your situation, but, if it is appropriate, I highly recommend the Rezūm procdure.  Note that this might not be appropriate for your case.  If it was appropriate, I consider it a better option than the older TURP methods....

[zzyzx]

19 hours ago, oznl said:

I’m wondering, if in light of recent events it is time for us to salvage something positive and perhaps use it as a spring board to update and fortify the “sticky” post about the rules for this sub-forum.  Allow me to propose a sticky post per below:

 

TITLE: Incontinence Desires sub-forum rules – read BEFORE posting

 

This is the INCONTINENCE DESIRES forum and it can be a controversial topic.  Because of this, in addition the standard DailyDiapers rules, there are some rules specific to this forum.  You need to READ, UNDERSTAND and ABIDE by these in order to post in this place.

1. If you strongly object to the idea of “incontinence desires” and want to share that with people, you shouldn’t be posting here
2. If you are here to “preach the truth”, “warn the lost” or “say the hard things nobody wants to hear” then unless you are sharing NEW, academically rigorous, verifiable and relevant information (which let’s face it, is unlikely), you shouldn’t be posting here
3. If you are here to tell people you think they are sick, insane or some other form of incorrect because they have ideas you don’t like, you REALLY shouldn’t be posting here (or possibly anywhere else).
4. If you are here to advocate DIY surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts, you shouldn’t be posting here

Moderators will abide by, and also enforce others to abide by these standards.  Don’t get yourself banned.

@oznl Having participated in the thread that kicked off this discussion (prior to the major forum interruption) I totally understand the need to review and update the sticky about the rules for this specific (sub)forum.  I do like getting the title changed to what you have suggested.

However, your point # 2 I think is too strongly worded.  If that was one of the rules, I question if I would have even participated in the thread that caused the current disruption.  I don't have a good suggestion to change or replace your # 2 at this time.  But it needs a little more work, unless you don't want folks like myself responding, in a manor similar to how I interacted in this forum. This forum is for folks other than me, and when I respond in this forum, I try to  respect what this forum is for....

@Elfy: One thought I've had: If a post gets reported as an issue to the admins, do the admin's see (a reminder of) the sticky notes of the forum where their response would publicly be seen (prior to posting the admin response)?  I.e. are you explicitly made aware of special forums (such as this one) as you review the issue?  If not, maybe @DailyDi needs to consider a mod to the software (if it is even available or an option that can be set).

[Elfy]

28 minutes ago, zzyzx said:

@Elfy: One thought I've had: If a post gets reported as an issue to the admins, do the admin's see (a reminder of) the sticky notes of the forum where their response would publicly be seen (prior to posting the admin response)?  I.e. are you explicitly made aware of special forums (such as this one) as you review the issue?  If not, maybe @DailyDi needs to consider a mod to the software (if it is even available or an option that can be set).

I'm not sure I understand what you mean... If you mean do we see which forum the post that has been reported has come from then yes we can

[zzyzx]

15 minutes ago, Elfy said:

I'm not sure I understand what you mean... If you mean do we see which forum the post that has been reported has come from then yes we can

OK.  Then you have to know a given forum has "special rules".  The forum's special (sticky) rules aren't automatically pop up as a reminder.

[oznl]

2 hours ago, zzyzx said:

@oznl Having participated in the thread that kicked off this discussion (prior to the major forum interruption) I totally understand the need to review and update the sticky about the rules for this specific (sub)forum.  I do like getting the title changed to what you have suggested.

However, your point # 2 I think is too strongly worded.  If that was one of the rules, I question if I would have even participated in the thread that caused the current disruption.  I don't have a good suggestion to change or replace your # 2 at this time.  But it needs a little more work, unless you don't want folks like myself responding, in a manor similar to how I interacted in this forum. This forum is for folks other than me, and when I respond in this forum, I try to  respect what this forum is for....

12 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

RESPONSE: There may be people who may ask us about "what is it like to be IC", or Ask "Why do you desire to do this"  and when they do, I don't see how letting people who post here know that IC is not for the faint of heart, and that is not all fun and games, and that you accept responsibility if you do wish to become incontinent because you REALLY want to - We all KNOW the truth here, and that is a given, but there may be others that may wonder, and ask us, and I don't see a problem with saying it ONCE to them - To do that in a RESPECTFUL manner is the way I would do that. 

Both good catches of the same shortfall.  I think point #2 was casting too wide of a net and upon "next morning" reflection, could catch legitimate responders.  It was indeed too strongly worded.  It was never my intent to try to kick out physiologically incontinent people or to ban "disappointing" answers, just to mute the ranting.  Below is a v2.0 edition.

 

TITLE: Incontinence Desires sub-forum rules – read BEFORE posting

This is the INCONTINENCE DESIRES forum and it can be a controversial topic.  Because of this, in addition the standard DailyDiapers rules, there are some rules specific to this forum.  You need to READ, UNDERSTAND and ABIDE by these in order to post in this place.

1. If you strongly object to the idea of “incontinence desires” and want to share that with people, you shouldn’t be posting here
2. Answering direct questions honestly from your own lived experience is welcome but if you are responding to posts with unsolicited subjective opinions about the illegitimacy of their desires, you shouldn’t be posting here.
3. If you are here to tell people you think they are sick, insane or some other form of "bad" because they have ideas you don’t agree with, you REALLY shouldn’t be posting here (or possibly anywhere else).
4. If you are here to advocate DIY surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts, you shouldn’t be posting here

Moderators will abide by, and also enforce others to abide by these standards.  Don’t get yourself banned.

If you need a reminder, here are the “standard” DailyDiapers rules:

The short version...

• Don't be an ass.We reserve the right to store, process, reuse, edit or remove content you post for any reason at any time.

The long version...

• Do not use hate speech. This includes but is not limited to homophobia, racism and sexism.
• Do not post pictures or videos which contain human genitalia or feces.
• Do not spam or repeatedly post the same information (tip: use the search function).
• Do not harass other users.
• Do not use profanity excessively.
• Do not post any information which would identify another person outside of the forum. (NB: Linking to news articles which identify people is acceptable - as long as the source site maintains a reasonable standard of journalistic integrity.

 

@Elfy, FYI - let me know if you want something wordsmithed here.  I used to be a wordsmith.  Happy to help.

Thanks to all for thoughtful comments.

[Kif]

5 hours ago, oznl said:

Answering direct questions honestly from your own lived experience is welcome but if you are responding to posts with unsolicited subjective opinions about the illegitimacy of their desires, you shouldn’t be posting here.

I like better how this is worded too, thank you!

[Kawaharu]

IMO, that would still offend the disabled and Incontinent folks. You can write anything you want but it still would be offensive towards those who are disabled and Incontinent.

[BrownBobby]

16 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

IMO, that would still offend the disabled and Incontinent folks. You can write anything you want but it still would be offensive towards those who are disabled and Incontinent.

From previous discussions, I'm pretty sure it's been made abundantly clear that there are some members in that community who will be offended by the very continued existence of this sub-forum, much less anything in it.  I think the goal of "not offending a reasonable reader" vs "not offending all members" is the standard to strive for here.

[DailyDi]

24 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

IMO, that would still offend the disabled and Incontinent folks. You can write anything you want but it still would be offensive towards those who are disabled and Incontinent.

You have more than made your point. Please stay out of this sub-forum since you disagree with it.

[spark]

On 4/20/2022 at 1:36 AM, oznl said:

1. If you are here to advocate DIY surgery or other potentially self-harmful or illegal acts, you shouldn’t be posting here

I want to make sure that there is still an opportunity to share an opinion about self-harm.   There was an aspect of that surgery discussion that I was personally uncomfortable with.  There was sort of a "You be you," which I think condoned something that is self-harm.   I've seen that before, and I think when somebody is considering, there is a sign of a deeper mental issue.   

Part of what makes this sub-forum nice is the way we discuss our progress, and how we feel relieved when we have decided to wear diapers full-time.   I like that, I'm not a big fan of the stent posts, but I just ignore those.    However- the surgery idea is a step too far in my opinion.  

 

On 4/20/2022 at 4:55 AM, DiapergirlWB said:

I'd be good with this. I get sooo angry when people come here to be all doom and gloom.   If permanent IC could be achieved with a single pill or quick easy treatment then we would definitely need some testimonials from bot the happy and the regretful.  But it takes a very long time and is a lot of work to achieve if ever.  You will be living with IC long before you are living with IC.  If you go through all that effort and time and then decide I screwed up why didn't anyone tell me you are literally just stupid.

Every time one of these posts show up, I just want to say "SHUT UP!"  

Trust me, if you ever do become unable to control your bladder/bowel through diaper usage, you will already know what it is like.

It also is nearly always followed by the unverified opinion that it will be impossible to regain.   Which AFAIK- is not true.   If there is no physical reason for the lack of bladder awareness, you should be able to regain bladder and bowel control with time.  That is part of physical therapy for people who have brain injuries.

[oznl]

43 minutes ago, spark said:

I want to make sure that there is still an opportunity to share an opinion about self-harm.   There was an aspect of that surgery discussion that I was personally uncomfortable with.  There was sort of a "You be you," which I think condoned something that is self-harm.   I've seen that before, and I think when somebody is considering, there is a sign of a deeper mental issue.   

Part of what makes this sub-forum nice is the way we discuss our progress, and how we feel relieved when we have decided to wear diapers full-time.   I like that, I'm not a big fan of the stent posts, but I just ignore those.    However- the surgery idea is a step too far in my opinion. 

Yeah, I know.  I chose my words quite carefully there with "advocate" instead of "discuss".  It was really about giving DD some (thin) air-cover rather than shutting down discussion.  I'd hate to see them caught up as co-respondents in some goofball case.  I don't think mentioning stents is necessarily an issue.  I suspect SELLING stents, or, offering to whip out somebody's urethral sphincter on a kitchen table with a coat hanger and a highly refined sense of optimism was the kind of behaviour that would be a no-go zone ?  Moderation on that would need to be reasonably nuanced.

 

[BrownBobby]

3 hours ago, spark said:

I want to make sure that there is still an opportunity to share an opinion about self-harm.   There was an aspect of that surgery discussion that I was personally uncomfortable with.  There was sort of a "You be you," which I think condoned something that is self-harm.   I've seen that before, and I think when somebody is considering, there is a sign of a deeper mental issue.   

Part of what makes this sub-forum nice is the way we discuss our progress, and how we feel relieved when we have decided to wear diapers full-time.   I like that, I'm not a big fan of the stent posts, but I just ignore those.    However- the surgery idea is a step too far in my opinion.  

This...is a hard line to draw.  The conversation about surgery was actually one that could have forestalled a LOT of potential self-harm.  If you have a safe alternative that's supervised by medical personnel, it means you DON'T have to rely on a lot of other options that are riskier, less refined, and unverified.  But for some reason, just the notion that the surgery itself was on the table triggered the seemingly knee-jerk response of "That's harm, and should be stopped at any cost!"  The result of that, of course, is that every other even worse option becomes more appealing.

The rule as it is proposed is much closer to how I'd write it.  Theoretical discussions about how to make a more safe option for individuals who will pursue any option seems like exactly the type of discussion we'd want to support, not suppress.  Discussions of incredibly risky self-performed medical procedures or blatantly illegal actions?  Yeah, probably best those don't have an open forum.