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BrownBobby

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  1. I've sent you a message - I help run a Telegram group for this. We don't publish a public link to keep a flood of nay-sayers and spam accounts from joining. Feel free to respond to my message and I'll send you a link.
  2. This can happen, as I'm sure the doctor mentioned - a revision might be necessary, especially if the original procedure didn't heal in the fully open position (by dumb luck or a catheter issue). My first procedure didn't take either - I suspect partially because my catheter had to be removed early due to recurring blockages. I think this is a fair thing to highlight with this surgery as well - it by far isn't a guarantee it will work, especially the first time. It comes with a whole list of risks that any major surgical procedure does, but especially one that involves the urinary tract. You're basically inflicting a lifetime of trauma on those muscles artificially, and hoping it's enough to make them incompetent at holding anything anymore. I'm comfortable where I ended up - maybe not a full time dribbler, but confident I couldn't go any length of time without a diaper unless I wanted to risk very embarrassing accidents. To anyone reading this and considering surgery - I'd recommend trying out other things first - full-time diaper usage, hypnosis, catheters, etc. - if only because it helps in the event the surgery doesn't take. Knowing how to cath myself has made things much easier, and having used hypnosis to help accept these life changes has been very reassuring and validating. Here's hoping it is just swelling, @Reddy - but if it isn't, there's still plenty of options, including Round 2.
  3. I personally have found it invaluable to do so - a diaper makes a lot easier, even if it's not draining into it. Heck, even makes recovering from surgery easier. The nurses in my stricture removal were impressed I had planned to wear a "brief" out - they're used to having to talk people into it over whatever "mesh underwear with pads" would count as.
  4. Oh, yes. The first time (stateside, only removing part of the external sphincter) my catheter blocked up twice. The first time needed an ER visit to fix. The second time, the doctor just told me to remove the catheter early since it was so close to when it was supposed to come out anyway. The next time (in Mexico, like @Reddy), it threatened it a few times but never got there. I did start retaining urine, but was able to eventually get the clots to pass with time. Still scary when it happens - especially when you swear it must mean you still can hold it just fine. You know, until you can't. The most recent time (local doctor, literally right now, to fix the stricture that developed), the catheter started blocking before I could even be discharged from the hospital. They fixed it, but it'd keep blocking up for the next two days. At this point, I'm rather skilled in flushing and clearing catheters, so I've been keeping things operational. Still not fun, though. I haven't had to wear caths for additional length any of the times, but there's a reason I keep a stock of indwelling and Foley caths on hand - makes it much easier in case it's needed. I've only really needed it a handful of times for getting the stricture to play nicely. Since starting treatment locally for it, I haven't needed to intervene on my own. After finishing this last surgery, I will have to cath weekly just to make sure the stricture stays stretched out - the side effect of making sure those bladder muscles get used to being stretched is just a nice bonus.
  5. So...yes, they make this, but you have to be careful. The tissues making that 26fr hard to insert can be stretched, but tearing them can lead to problems including strictures (and from my experience, 0/10 do not recommend strictures). Best for now to slowly work up to it - get a 22fr and 24fr in comfortably for a few days at a time, then see if a 26fr goes in without pain.
  6. Problems after surgery that I've also seen in both my surgeries happening in the US? Wow, imagine that! (I don't have to - I've been to the local ER for the same issue for much, much less involved procedures. It's an easily predictable and treatable complication. But that isn't NEARLY as snarky, is it?) It's *almost* like those were known issues that Reddy mentioned he was aware of. You know, almost like a competent adult individual making a decision while knowing the very real risks involved! Imagine that! I'm so glad @Reddy has been willing to share so much - it's *exactly* reactions like this that led to me not bothering to mention what i was doing to others when I had my procedure. I'm beyond amazed most peoples' reactions have fallen somewhere between "concerned yet curious" to "supportive yet intrigued." This procedure is a serious matter. It has VERY real risks. I've said the entire time (well, I did until multiple threads were deleted because of "helpful" comments like this) that this is something most people probably shouldn't pursue. And I'd love nothing more than to have a fully above-board option for this. In the meanwhile, we work with the options we have - and I'm glad to hear @Reddy's doing alright. It's never fun to see complications, even expected and predictable ones. But for anyone reading this and thinking about doing it themselves - this is part of the package deal. It's not like the stories. It's a serious procedure, with serious risks. And yet, I do believe there are several people out there who would still benefit from it.
  7. No, I don't constantly dribble. Part of that was developing a stricture, but part of it is just as someone said earlier in the thread - there's so many things that affect your ability to hold it. All a surgery like this does is get rid of a lot of the consciously-controlled ones. Case in point, if I have to mess, I'll start holding urine, just because the pelvic floor is trying to hold things in. But...the moment I do anything to relax my pelvic floor, it comes out. Messing, laughing, even getting distracted for too long...and, as a fun benefit, it's become very uncomfortable to hold back from messing for any length of time. I do rather enjoy that as an unintended side effect - I *can* control when I mess, as long as I'm willing to pay the price...:-p
  8. Rmemeber...having the ability to do something with those muscles, and having that "something" be something of value is two very, very different things. In my case, I can squeeze and try to hold it...and if I'm really lucky and do it before i start peeing, I might buy three to five seconds before it all comes out anyway. If it's mid-stream? No point in trying - it's just going to make a mess of things.
  9. This is a common side effect of the antibiotic you're taking, combined with the (hopefully) extra fluids and earlier fasting. In short, don't worry too much about it.
  10. Simple answer on why you don't get "everything": bleeding. You need to make sure what you did cut can fully heal without causing blood loss, strictures, or worse. Three weeks is enough time for the first round to heal well enough to make a second procedure safe.
  11. Gods I wish. For what it's worth, the price does seem to be steadily ticking down operation over operation, but that's fair from a guaranteed trend.
  12. If you genuinely want the answers to the questions, I'm willing to assume good faith and give them - but again, I'm noticing you actually haven't addressed any of the points about this being self-harm despite extensive medical and professional evaluation... I try to be as open about this as I can. I've mentioned it several times on this forum. Many of those mentions are deleted because some person comes into the thread meaning to "preach to the lost" and convince everyone that they're hurting themselves and/or somehow mocking those who didn't choose to be incontient. They usually refuse to take any suggestions that, perhaps, what they're saying isn't actually contributing to the conversation and get a mod involved. The result is deletion of anything remotely related to it. I'm amazed these threads have stayed up so far. It's partially why I stay away from many of them - why post my story again if someone is going to come in, decide that they're going to be the hero saving people from themselves, and get it deleted? (And before you jump to the conclusion, no, it's not because of some argumentative tone I've taken - most of the time, it's the person coming into the thread to try to "save people" that ends up flying off the handle and ironically giving the mods a reason to delete it.) This is partially why your stance is aggravating. You're right to be concerned that there is danger here. Again, it's not whether or not you say it. It's how much, how insistently, and how inflexibly you hold to it. My analogy above isn't as hyperbolic as you think. For many in this forum, and especially those who are so deeply into this subject that international surgery is even a consideration, they've already tried a laundry list of other methods. They've done years of research into the effects and what might result. In fact, our person getting the surgery is one of them, from my talks with him. Your warnings are like telling a professional race car driver to make sure to slow down for the turns, and when he still takes them quickly, saying it's "still self harm that he'd even consider going that quickly around it" because of how dangerous it is. Which is why I get aggravated about this topic. I don't need validation about my decision. I'm beyond happy with it. My biggest regret, by far, is that I hadn't had it done sooner. I can't imagine how much better my own life would have been had I had this opportunity earlier. I would have avoided so much (actual instead of perceived) self-harm if I could have had this outlet. Heck, even knowing the outlet existed would have been incredibly helpful to my mental health. In causing incontience, I am an expert. I've guided over a dozen people to various levels of potty untraining, from weakened bladders to full on diaper dependency. I've done more looking through scientific literature on this topic than anyone I've met (though I suspect there are others just as submerged into it as I, for the same reasons). There's a reason I stay mostly in this forum - it's the one most aligned to my interests. There's also a reason I usually end up being one of the argumentative ones when one of those "nay-sayers" cross over from helpful to unhelpful to irritating - this matters to me, deeply. And if I have learned one thing through ten years of pursuing this goal actively...I'm far, far FAR from alone in having a deep-seated, ingrained desire to be incontinent that I can't deal with any way but to actually *be* incontinent, as the years of addressing it has shown. I haven't been hiding. I've been speaking where I can. Then someone like you comes in, insistently nay-says until the thread gets nuked, walks away satisfied that they were definitely the good guy, and usually comes back to the next thread to do it again. Ironically, it's your concern that keeps you from having the chance to know, and it's far from just me that's this way. From my research, there may be more than a dozen people out there who have gotten similar operations from other doctors. They're almost impossible to actually talk to, because the moment they start speaking, someone swoops in and makes sure the conversation gets shut down because of "concern for people's safety" or "sensitivity to those who didn't have a choice." They've learned to shut up, keep their heads down, and don't bother bringing it up because best case, they'll have to explain it to someone woefully equipped mentally to understand, or worst case, they'll be beaten down by those "just making sure they don't self-harm again." Perhaps now you might see why your stance is met with frustration in this forum?
  13. It says everything that you defend it as "being extreme." That's the extent I have to go to to have a CHANCE of you understanding how you're coming across. You are literally incapable of even beginning to accept that, just maybe, your intentions aren't matching what you're actually doing. But I'm done. You're incapable of understanding this from any other perspective than your own. Very well- there's a reason I normally leave your posts in my Ignored list. Let's talk about ME, then. A subject I am, unabashedly, an expert on. I'm going to talk about the licensed mental health professionals I've seen, which are experts on mental health and the appropriate actions to take. Both of those premises, I hope, are so obviously self-true that I don't have to defend them. But since I rather enjoy helping others see where this argument is being so wonderfully mis-applied, I will follow your logic, again, to the letter. *I* alone don't disagree with you. Four licensed counselors disagree with you. Two urologists (not even including this surgeon!) disagree with you. An entire mental health crisis team disagrees with you. But it will never be enough for exactly the reason you laid out - you either have to defend your position despite all this evidence as still being right, or analyze it and determine that maybe it's much more complicated than the easy way you want it to be. Unfortunately, it takes willingness to do either of those things, so it kills my hope if it happening. I *have* gotten help. Reference the previous list if you somehow don't remember. I've gotten lots and lots and lots of help. Do you know what the most common thing a professional says to me after going through all of this? "I understand how this is affecting you, and agree that you'd be better off incontinent. But I can't think of a good way to make it happen. I actually wish there was." But it says a lot that despite "all the help I'm getting condoning this," you still seem to think it's okay to act this way in general to people sharing information about stuff like this. If it was the first time, I would consider you a "random idiot on the internet." But boy, is it a pattern in so many topics in this forum. Well, considering I also had it done, congratulations. You're poorly informed. I don't expect that to change anything about your viewpoint. You've already decided you're doing the Lord's work in this, can't possibly be in any way, shape, or form doing it incorrectly, and have no plans to change. I "got the Exacto knife" and turned out just fine as well. I also vetted the credentials of the doctor through multiple medical databases and legal checks, but hey, what the heck do I know, right? It's not like I've been obsessively researching topics like this my whole life because it's been a desire I've had for as long as I can remember, affecting my mental health in such dramatic ways that it's led to very dangerous outcomes, where all other methods of treatment for either the desires or the resulting mental conditions haven't led to a full recovery. Nope. Not at all. I must be self-harming. _____ Again, I don't expect any actual change. You've already convinced yourself you're correct. And apparently if I am to accept your stance, it means I must be someone who's self-harming under goddamn supervision of about a dozen professionals in mental and urinary health. I care a lot more about the people who have this desire who, after reading multiple comments about how they must be wanting to self-harm and should not even consider options that might help reduce that harm, actually believe it and don't get help they could have had. For me, even knowing this WAS an option I could have pursued would have immensely relieved years of unpleasant stress, even if I didn't go through with it. Knowing there are options out there to help, helps. Telling someone "Make sure you want to do this, because it has a bunch of risks that might lead to bad things" is trying to help self-harm. Telling someone "you must be self-harming to even be considering this" is just being an ignorant, unhelpful asshole. I find the phrase "You can't argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" is much more apt here. And this is me stepping away before that happens even more.
  14. If it really was only "cautioning against something drastic and potentially dangerous," I think it'd be a lot more understandable. Let me be incredibly blunt - it's gone way, way way beyond "just cautioning." Let's follow your analogy, shall we? Let's assume we have a super-adrenaline junkie who can't find what he's looking for in the experiences available. Nothing has quite satisfied that need that he's had. He's done years of research looking for what other options are available, and vetted one option that, while not done enough to have an established track record of safety yet, shows promise with an operator whose record checks out pretty well for what he has done. Knowing all of this, and knowing the risks he's taking, he decides to do it. Then you come in, screaming, waving your arms in front of the adrenaline junkie, saying, "Look! I know what you're going to do, and it's dangerous! I mean, I thought I wanted to do something like this, but then I went on some go-karts, and that was enough for me! You'd be insane for attempting to do this!" The adrenaline junkie politely nods, reassures you that they're very aware of that, and that they have, in fact, gone go-karting. You keep insisting that it's dangerous, with each time the adrenaline junkie tries to reassure you going "I can't tell you what to do, but its SUPER DANGEROUS! You must have some flaw in your judgement since any rational person wouldn't dare do this!" You'll forgive me if the adrenaline junkie thinks you're either a well-meaning idiot or being deliberately obtuse.
  15. I think it says everything about the value of your argument that you only quote the second half of my post. It wasn't "safe and ethical" for a boatload of things historically that are considered commonplace now. Your argument has been used to argue against transgender surgeries, brain surgery, and even autopsies. Thank goodness society is willing to slowly and deliberately evolve those definitions over time. If you're not even interested in entertaining that thought, I won't put any more energy into trying to change your mind. I hope you don't waste your own energy arguing the same point that everyone else fully and completely understands already. EDIT: You know what, I think I've finally gotten a grasp on *why* you seem to not be able to comprehend this. Do you REALLY think the people in this forum DON'T know that this might be a bad idea? Are you genuinely so unintelligent as to think that NOBODY considering this surgery realizes that this MIGHT be a bad idea? No shit, Sherlock. WE ALL UNDERSTAND THAT. That isn't a new viewpoint. It isn't some hidden truth that you, somehow, have exclusive access to that only you are privileged and capable of expressing. It wasn't right for you. Great! That's wonderful to know. Your "just get over it!" mentality was what led to my suicide attempt. It didn't just "magically go away." Wearing and using diapers didn't magically get "close enough for all intents and purposes." Multiple mental heath professionals realized that it went the other way - the desire was what CAUSED my mental symptoms. Preach caution all you want. I encourage it! I don't expect people to line up for this procedure. In fact, for most it's not even the first, second, or tenth thing I'd recommend they try to help this desire. But for those that genuinely DO have this deep-seated desire to this level...why are you so insistent that they suffer?
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