Leaderboard

Chapter 105: Leaky BETH LOOKED AT the three professors who walked in and then felt a little queasy as the room seemed to spin and reorganize. Their tables now looked down into a depression-like bowl in the middle of the room, where a projector was clearly ready to start showing the group clips. The first one started, and she couldn’t help but shake her head as the group had only used the chocolate syrup and coated the chain with the substance. They ‘flogged’ a bare-backed member with it, making a poor attempt at making it seem like he was bleeding. With each clip being thirty seconds to a minute in length, there was a pretty quick clip of clips. The first one she saw from her group featured Harper stabbing Madelyn. “Sick!” she heard someone from a group nearby exclaim. Some of the other groups murmured approval as Madelyn lay bleeding, and the effect turned out pretty stellar with Will’s fantastic camera work. There was a pause, and then they next showed the gun scene, which was equally successful. A couple of groups had also figured out the improvised squib method. Still, lacking Will’s eye, the shots didn’t entirely sell the effect. She counted that they had to have finished nine of the twelve required clips when the shot she’d first come up with was shown. She smiled as the camera followed the train down the tracks towards the defenseless car. “That was kind of smart! Why didn’t we…?” She heard someone from the adjacent studio ask before the flash powder went off. “What the hell? I thought you said we couldn’t use CGI, Professor?” the producer from Studio Two complained. “They didn’t,” Professor Wyler laughed. “You all had the ingredients to make the same effect!” “I told you we should have done something with the powder!” Someone in Studio Four grumbled. They watched something that looked almost identical to the chains being used to ‘draw blood’ from around the neck of a girl being ‘choked’ with them. “That’s actually kind of creative,” she heard someone in their group say. She counted the twelfth clip being played and heard, “One group managed a bonus clip. We’re going to go ahead and play it, too. I’ll let the judges decide if it should be counted or not,” Professor Wyler said. Beth knew the only clip that hadn’t been shown yet was the chain one with Charlotte. It had looked cool just watching it from her angle off to the side, but she had to admit it looked even better on camera! “Whoa,” someone said. “Beth, good job!” Charlotte told her, “We’re the only group that came up with the explosive!” “How did you know about that, anyway?” Carly asked, turning curiously as they watched the judges deliberate. Beth blushed, “My chemistry teacher in high school liked to make chemistry fun. He would invite you to an advanced chemistry party once a quarter if you were willing to go the extra mile on some of the homework. He’d show us tricks like that. I’m surprised I remembered those two would react like that.” Charlotte hugged her, “The best thing ever is having you two in our group!” “I think most people forget about the ancient ways of doing effects since they can just use a computer now,” Will said. “Wait, you never do things like this?” Carly asked, a bit shocked. “Why would we? It’s pretty messy and a bit dangerous?” Owen said. “Huh,” Carly said. “We still use those techniques back home. Although I wouldn’t have known the proper method or mix of those two powders.” A few minutes later, Professor Wyler shook the other professors’ hands, and they left the studio. He smiled at the class, “Overall, I felt like you did pretty good for an intro class. There are some more complicated effects that you could have done. Still, one group did well enough for an even more experienced group. Without further ado, here are the scores,” he said. I WATCHED AS a table of results showed in the air before us. “As you can see, Studio Three would have beaten you without the bonus clip, but the judges felt that half points should be awarded for that. We will give them ten thousand times their score in budget dollars for their win. For the non-math filmmakers, that’s 3,350,000 more dollars into their account.” He smiled at us as he spoke to their group. Turning to the group beside them, “Studio Four, you had some nice moments, and your third clip, in particular, was much better than most. You win second place, which’ll be seventy-five hundred times your score; 1,972,500 more dollars. Studio One, five thousand times your score, 1,265,000 dollars added. Studio Two, you won our previous contest, but as the last-place finish, you’ll only get twenty-five hundred times your score; 592,500 dollars.” Beth smiled as she saw the group who had beaten them for their script at the bottom. She turned to Carly, figuring she would think likewise, but she was frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?” She whispered. “They aren’t the right group for my script; it’s going to be terrible!” Beth winced, knowing she was probably right. She reached over and squeezed her shoulder as Professor Wyler wrapped up the class. “You two are working on editing today?” Charlotte asked them. Beth nodded, “Hopefully, we’ll make a little faster progress today.” “Great! We’ll let you two get to it. I’m going to talk with the rest of the group about wrapping up some things for the paper he wants turned in on the process, too. Why don’t you two get to work in the editing studio?” “Sounds good,” Carly said. Beth placed her hand on her short girlfriend’s head and led her to the door. JUST BEFORE WE reached the door, I heard, “Wait up!” I turned to see one of Studio Two’s members approaching us. “Yes?” I asked. “Look, I know this is a competition, but is there any way you could come help us as the screenwriter sometime this week? To be honest, we’re in over our heads, and I don’t have a clue how to get us going right again.” She paused and added, “By the way, I’m Abby.” “Carly,” I said. “Umm… is your whole group onboard with this help idea?” She looked nervous, “I haven’t asked?” I sighed, “Trade numbers with me; maybe we can work something out tomorrow or Thursday. We have a full plate with editing right now, though?” She looked a little down from that but nodded, “Okay, here.” When we were away, Beth said, “You’re not going to do it, right?” I shrugged, “I kind of hate to see my film go bust?” “Just take it home with you and film it there. Trust me; nothing good will come of helping them?” I sighed, “I doubt I even have time! Let’s get to the studio and get to work here?” She nodded and ran her hand over my shoulder, bringing me closer even as she walked beside me. I was growing increasingly in love with her, and the simple physical gestures were comforting! I leaned into her side as we reached the large door, and she opened up the studio, noting Nikki taking a seat on a nearby bench after quickly peeking inside. Beth and I felt relief as the lights turned on automatically, and we didn’t see someone like Kelly waiting for us! ‘Going to take a while to get past that,’ I admitted. Beth lifted me onto the center chair again, and we got to work! Looking at the time, I saw I had about three and a half hours to work before I needed to get dinner and head to the dorm. “How long of this footage will we use before we move into the dialog?” Beth asked me as I was working on finding some clips of the agitated meeting at the beginning of the first real scene. “I figure let’s experiment with what feels right, and then we may need to tweak it to fit whatever music gets added in the background.” She nodded at that and watched as I worked to assemble the clips. It was a fine line between interesting and boring, based on how long those clips were; I took a first guess and then brought up the best take of the meeting with Charlotte, leading off on her lines. Mostly, the first scene then involved just cutting between closeups of characters. Still, at times, it felt right to show all of the participating characters on screen in a wider view, too. The meeting scene was fully set as a rough cut in a half-hour as it was pretty straightforward what we were looking for. “So what did you find out at the doctor?” she asked me as I moved a clip into the timeline that showed a nice shot of Charlotte and Sophie both in the frame as they spoke. I sighed and moved my eyes around the room. “It’ll have to wait until we’re somewhere else?” She gave me a look but then pulled something out of her bag. It was an item that looked like a makeup compact. She manipulated something on it and said, “We can talk here now?” “What is that?” “Something your grandmother gave me last weekend?” “Why do you get the cool toy?” I complained, slightly jealous. She giggled, “I actually said you’d be jealous, but she pointed out you have less privacy in your nest. She was worried someone would want to take a better look at it?” I was annoyed but nodded, “She’s probably right. It blocks recording?” “All outgoing signals, recording devices, and a couple other things, apparently?” She shrugged. “Anyway, quit stalling? Is the news really that bad?” I shrugged, “Well, it wasn’t good… but I guess it was more odd?” “Odd?” I sighed, “You’re sure that’s secure?” She nodded, “You can ask your grandmother?” I shook my head, “Okay, so apparently, there’s a reason for the LittleGo Plus nanites being so resilient?” I said. “Why?” “My mom and your dad?” “Huh? They never went out?” I laughed, “No, apparently my mom gave your dad some nanites after an… incident with your mom?” “An incident?” “Not sure you really want to hear this one?” “Now I have to?” “You asked for it,” I told her. “Apparently, your mom and dad were dating and had their first night of… love… together at a hotel. Your dad was exploring her body and ended up with a mouthful of milk?” Her ashen face made me almost giggle. “But that’s…” “Dangerous?” I responded. “Yes, and apparently both were scared by it. Your dad apparently came clean to my mom, and she did one of her ‘smart’ things then.” “Smart?” I nodded, “So my mom is a genius—like a super-genius, really - but she sometimes has zero common sense. She’s like a mad scientist and makes some amazing leaps and developments with technology… but she doesn’t always foresee the problems she’s going to cause down the road. This was one of those times she was trying to make it to where your dad wouldn’t become incontinent or addicted if he started nursing more regularly.” “That is really gross to think about,” she said, “But I actually remember Dad doing that when I was little.” “Really?” I asked in surprise. “They would play around sometimes still?” She said, “I’m definitely not trusting this device enough to say more here, though.” “I thought you trusted it?” I asked. “I don’t trust any place but Amanda’s house for that conversation. Ask me this weekend. So anyway, what did your mom do that was so bad?” I shrugged, “Nothing to your dad, but apparently, when your grandmother kidnapped your parents, there was a scientist who drew some of your dad’s blood to figure out why their treatments weren’t doing anything to him. He kept a sample of the nanites even after the company was taken over. He used those nanites as a template when he moved on to another company.” “So?” “So the nanites I have are descendants from your dad’s, which means my mom is at fault here,” I said. “I’m hoping at some point she can help me turn those off at least. Maybe then the original ones can eat away at that stupid protein.” As if to emphasize the reason, I suddenly realized my diaper was leaking. “Cr…aggy…” I said, thinking to stop saying the word ‘crap’ just in case someone was listening. “What’s wrong?” “I’m leaking…” “Oh,” I watched Beth grab my bag and look around. There was a clear area of the floor nearby, “Come on, it might not be bad enough that you need to switch your jumper yet?” I blushed, “In here?” “Less people here than in the women’s restroom?” She reminded me. I sighed, climbed down, watched as she dug through my bag without thinking of my privacy, and grabbed a diaper, wipes, and changing pad stashed inside. After laying the changing pad out, she patted it. I followed her direction of lying down on it, even as I pulled my uniform skirt upwards and out of her way. Beth knelt beside me and quickly opened the poppers to the onesie shirt underneath, remarking, “Ugh… Carly, you can’t put this back on…?” “Am I that wet?” I asked her nervously. She nodded, “Yeah, the bottom of this is soaked. Sit up for a second, and let me look at your skirt…” She lifted me to an upright position, rocking me down on the soaked diaper still taped to my bottom. I felt her pull the jumper skirt up before she sighed, “Did you pack a spare uniform?” I nodded, “Grandma insisted I pack a spare in there?” I nodded to my bag. “It’s in that bottom zippered compartment?” I gestured for her to hand me the bag, but instead, she just went through it and found the spare onesie and jumper. She pulled out the pink waterproof wet bag Grandma had insisted on loading in the bag with the spare clothes the other night. “Arms up!” She told me a second later, and I felt her lift the jumper and onesie off in one go, briefly getting caught up in the gigantic bow in my hair. It pulled a bit and stung, “Ow,” I complained. “Oh, stop being a baby,” she said. She seemed to immediately regret it, “Sorry… umm…” “It’s okay; just change me, and let’s get this over with?” She stuffed the soaked uniform in the wet bag before pushing me back on my back. The scritch of the tapes being pulled off was loud in the quiet room then, and I blushed from realizing she would again be seeing me naked. She was quick but thorough as she wiped me clean, making sure to get the upper part of my legs where the diaper had leaked, too. After helping me into the new onesie blouse, she snapped the buttons closed. Beth then held the new jumper over my head and straightened the bow on my head before we resumed working on the film. We’d completed our rough cut of scenes one through four by the time we left the editing room. Before we left she checked my diaper and suggested, “You probably should get changed after dinner?” “Probably,” I said. “Hopefully not for the reason of last night?” “Last night?” “I left you, and not long after that, it really needed changed.” She hugged me and picked me up, saying, “Sorry, Carly. I wish I could help!” Beth kissed me on the lips before leaving me on her hip as we opened the studio door and had our shadow of Nikki again. After a lot of arm twisting, Nikki sat at our table for dinner that night. Without much time, I scarfed down the giant half of a hamburger with some fries before they walked me to Sanders Hall. I went to my nest while they went back to her dorm. I was able to make it into the nest without leaking. Still, almost immediately before I was going to ask Lilly to change me, I found my body crouching and placing another smelly load into my diaper. I felt a tear in my eye, as I knew I would have to accept that I had given up my continence to be a girl. ‘Mostly without regrets,’ I thought to myself. I stood there momentarily, even trying to push some more to get myself cleared out. That didn’t seem to work, though, and I knew it had to be related to the signal loss in my nervous system. With a sigh, I walked to Lilly’s door and to where she sat at a desk, working on her homework. She sniffed before turning around and saying, “Guess you need a change, huh?” “Please?” I asked, looking forward to a clean bottom! “The other girls will be getting in the tub, but since you’re swimming in the morning, we’ll wait until then. Go ahead and switch to your jammies,” she suggested after putting a fresh diaper on me. “Okay,” I said and soon found a different pair of pajamas Aunt Bella had made for me out of some satin material. The top was loose, so you could see my diaper if I bent the wrong way. I just shrugged, though. From here on out, I doubted anyone would be surprised to see a diaper on my rear! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!! Please press the 'Like' Button and leave a comment! Last week was one of my toughest in the real world in a looooooooooong time unfortunately, so I've been stuck at Chapter 124. I actually followed a thread of plot in that chapter and deleted it this morning so I can try again. Hopefully, that leads to more progress today and tomorrow. Truthfully, if the real world doesn't calm down in its demands, I may be done with my writing season for the year earlier than normal. (Last year, all of my progress began about last week and ran through June) Hopefully, that is not the case! More comments and likes may help me keep motivated, so please keep them coming! As always, if you've enjoyed my work, please consider supporting me by purchasing them on Amazon Kindle. http://amazon.com/author/babysofia I don't get rich off of them, but it does help provide some extra money to pay the bills!

Howdy all… so sorry for the long long wait. A lot has been happening with the start of the new year. Was busy with work, then got my new lease, the apartment I’ve been in for 4 years decided to price themselves out of my tax bracket all of a sudden which was fun🙃. Loved that and loved house hunting and moving even more🤮. Finally got caught up with some work and was feeling inspired to write. I tried to make this an extra long chapter to make up for my sudden disappearance and long wait. It’s a little more XX but those of you who have made it this far into the series have probably come to expect that at this point. I wish I could figure out how to update the topic board title to let everyone know that this new chapter is up but I’m a little forum incompetent… anyways I hope you all enjoy, again, terribly sorry for the wait. Chapter 22 Max and Elizabeth Max was back to his insane driving habit but Elizabeth didn’t really mind. The strap between her legs holding the cooled diaper against her was doing wonders for her sex drive, she just hoped Max was ready to pounce as soon as they got back to his place. His eyes said enough to let her know that was the case, the driving reflected that he was more so in a focused hurry than he was about enjoying the car's performance. Elizabeth wasn’t really sure how long the drive was from the theatre as she could barely focus on much more than Max and the strap assaulting her diaper between her legs with the aggressive driving manoeuvres he was performing. It didn’t feel like a long drive though before Max was pulling up to a secluded gated driveway outside of the city limits. The driveway was long and it only added to the anxiousness Elizabeth was feeling. Finally the house came into view but more realistically the mansion that Max lived in. It was almost castle-esque in appearance with its sturdy stone exterior but had some modern takes on it. There was a detached garage that they pulled into before Max exited the vehicle and walked to the front and retrieved her purse and his blazer before coming around to her side. He opened the door and made quick work of stripping the harness away before offering her a hand to help her out. She rose out of the car and looked around the garage. There were several more sports cars in different colours and manufacturers in the garage along with a few large luxury SUVs. Elizabeth started to get a grasp on Max’s wealth. Max released her hand once she was out of the car but left it hanging in the air, palm up waiting for something to be placed in it. “Your dress, hand it over.” He commanded in a no nonsense deep voice. “I… I can’t.” Elizabeth blushed and held her palms against the fabric. “Can’t what?” Max said, a domineering demeanour taking over now that they were actually alone. She knew what he was going for now as she looked down at his open hand. “I can’t, daddy.” Elizabeth blushed even more as she quietly whispered her response, correcting herself. If she had been looking up, she would have seen the devious smile across his face. “I see, so I guess I will need to help you out of it then. It's a shame really.” Max said as he set her purse down and released his blazer to fall to the clean epoxy garage floor. He took one step forward and put his hands on her shoulders and in a quick and powerful movement spun her around to face the car she had just exited. He pushed her over onto the roof of the car and took hold of the back of her dress. The fabric tore easily in his large hands, the zipper being destroyed in the process. “There, not so hard was it? My little Lizzie.” Max said as Elizabeth was still a little stunned at the action. As she rose from the car, the tattered dress fell to her ankles leaving her in just her undergarments and diaper. “Much better.” Max commented as he took in the sight, his eyes devouring her body as she bashfully stood there looking away. There was some fear that Bethany would kill her for destroying the dress but Max’s forwardness had her burning up even more. “I’ve sent all of the help home for the evening so it’s just going to be us here for the night.” Max said as he leaned over to retrieve the items he had dropped and turned around to leave the garage. Elizabeth was nervous to follow him out of the garage into the open, the safe privacy of the garage would be taken away outside but he was already a few paces in front of her. He paused briefly to look over his shoulder and asked in a voice that was more of a command than a question “are you coming?” Elizabeth put herself in motion to catch up to him. He held out his hand for her and she took it as she was led across the courtyard to the house. The cool night air tickled her skin and she quickly had goosebumps forming, also partially generated from her excitement. Being led around by the hand by Max and his overpowering presence had her in throws of submission. It wasn’t a feeling she had ever felt before, being submissive as she was right now. Bethany had power over her with the LCU but that didn’t make her feel submissive like Max did. She wanted to be called a good girl and be his good girl, she wanted to be happy and him to be happy. It was a strange feeling that would require more digesting. They approached the front door and Max released her hand to push open the twin folding doors that just added to the castle vibe with their heavy wood and iron construction. He stood off to the side to let Elizabeth enter with a gesture to welcome her in. As she stood in the main entrance room Max closed the doors. The warm air helped relax the goosebumps to some extent. She looked around, it was a little dimly lit that matched the masculine and powerful personality of Max. There was a spiral staircase on either side of the front foyer with heavy wrought iron railings. She turned a little to take in the room before her eyes came to him. “Welcome to my house. I’d say I’d give you a tour first but we both know that isn’t necessary at the moment.” Max said with a smirk as his eyes lingered on the yellow padding between Elizabeth’s legs. “First we should take care of that though.” Elizabeth blushed as Max took her hand to guide her again. She was expecting to be led up the stairs to where she assumed the bedrooms would be but with her eyes locked to the floor in embarrassment, she didn’t realise she had been led past them. Instead Max guided her to a secret door underneath the stairs. She finally looked up when she took her first step downwards instead of up like she had thought. Max was focused forward and just gave her hand a little pull to encourage her to follow. She complied and followed him down the stairs. The stairs were quite long as they spiralled downwards into what Elizabeth was suspecting to be the basement. They came to another door and Max placed his palm in the centre, a soft beep followed by the sound of heavy locks disengaging before the door swung open for them. Elizabeth looked into the room not knowing what to expect aside from prison cells of a castle dungeon as she was led into the large room. Dungeon was the correct terminology, just more so sex dungeon. There was a large canopy style bed facing the door that caught her attention first and she could feel a draw towards it. She desperately wanted to embrace Max on that bed. It was dark hardwood with crimson red sheets and black pillows. If she had to put what the room looked like to her it would be the complete opposite of a nursery. Where a nursery was brightly lit and covered in playful colors and soft things, this room was dimly lit to set the mood with dark colours and adult things. There was a bevy of furniture around the room whose purposes Elizabeth could only guess at. Most of the items were covered in D-rings or straps, padding over hard surfaces to protect whoever was bound to them. ‘I’ll be bound to them!’ Elizabeth thought internally as she looked back to Max who had led her to what appeared to be an Amazon sized changing table. Her jaw almost dropped as she looked over the black changing table, she had never seen an Amazon changing table. “So, do I need to destroy the rest of your clothes or are you going to undress yourself properly this time?” Max asked with a raised eyebrow as his eyes continued to roam her body. Elizabeth blushed heavily and shook her head no with “I… I can undress myself…Daddy.” Max nodded his approval, glad she was catching on so quickly. She pulled the straps of the bra off her shoulders and reached behind her back and undid the clasp. She turned her eyes away from Max as she let the bra slide down her arms exposing her chest. Luckily the LCU didn’t see reaching for the waistband of the tights as an attempt to remove her diaper as she pushed them down her legs, kicking off the heels after she got the hose to her feet and undid the straps. She had gained a little confidence from Max’s gaze, it felt good having his eyes on her despite being in a wet diaper that she had created. She spun around to face the changing table. “So this is what has been keeping you away from your diaper and under your sister’s thumb.” Max said as he approached her back, eyeing the LCU panel stuck between her shoulder blades. Elizabeth nodded silently as Max traced the small box with a finger. His contact sent a shiver down her spine. “It’s called the Little Control Unit. Bethany works for a tech firm that designed it and is the project manager for the testing. It’s not on the market yet but should be soon. If you look closely you’ll see a bunch of adhesive stickers around my body that shock me when I go against any command that she gives me.” Elizabeth explained. “Very interesting, I will have to talk to your sister about this more. Being a distributor, that’s just the kind of thing my clients would like.” Max said as he straightened back up a bit. “Now onto the changing table with you.” He commented before he easily gave her a little lift onto the padded surface of the table. Bethany blushed as she laid down and sunk into the cushion a little, the faux leather clinging to her skin. ‘This is it, I’m going to be changed by my crush, practically a stranger I met today, into a clean diaper.’ She thought as she adjusted a little. Max reached under the table and produced a black blindfold. “I’ve noticed my little fox has been struggling with keeping her eyes open so maybe this will help.” He said as he slid the blindfold over her eyes. The new pet name resonated with Elizabeth, it was cute but not as insulting as some little animal like ‘kitten’. With the blindfold taking away her sight she wasn’t really sure what to do but her other senses stepped up a notch. She could hear Max’s slow breathing as if he were right next to her ear and her own heartbeat was almost deafening with the excitement. “If I’ve learned something tonight, it’s your inability to follow orders and keep your hands away from your diaper.” Max said in a logical voice as he opened another drawer under the table. Elizabeth heard some light jingles before she felt something wrap around her wrist and then be pulled tight. The same thing happened to her other wrist and then her ankles, finishing off with her thighs. She knew they were padded leather cuffs and the jingle had to be their steel rings. “How much experience with bondage do you have?” Max asked patiently. “I.. I’ve experimented a little before… daddy.” Elizabeth blushed with her reply. “Then we will start off light tonight then.” He said before he pulled her wrists above her head and clipped them into the table. Her legs were lifted and straps attached to the cuffs. She knew she was now in a similar position to what she had done to Ashley, the biggest difference being her legs were straight up in a split V above her head. His hand moved to the first tape, she flinched a little expecting the LCU to give her a shock but it seemed safe and the command that allowed anyone but her access to her diapers was effective. Time seemed to slow to an almost stand still as he popped each of the tapes until finally she felt the diaper being pulled open. “My my, you almost maxed out the capacity on this one, it’s a good thing you had it.” Max commented as Elizabeth felt it slip out from under her. A fresh diaper was slid underneath her rear shortly after the spent one was pulled away. To Elizabeth it felt a bit different, she couldn’t tell if it was thicker or if it was just because it was dry, she didn’t have the experience with diapers to immediately tell. “We wouldn’t want you making a bigger mess while we play and at your pace, I’m a bit worried you won’t be able to hold your dinner in. It's best if we plug this up.” Max commented as he opened another drawer. Elizabeth felt something extremely cold and smooth at her back entrance. It only took a light bit of pressure for the metal plug to slip inside her. Despite being inside of her it didn’t seem to be acclimating to her body temperature and remained cold as a constant reminder of its presence as Max smeared lotion around her hips and over her smooth mound. Max began to play with his easy access. First his fingers began to circle her extremely sensitive clit. It really only took one pass to have her pulling at her bonds and moaning. “You better not cum without permission from this point onwards.” Max said in his commanding voice as he continued. “Yes… daddy.” Elizabeth responded through laboured breaths. She was struggling however, she had been in max level horniness since the theatre and just his few light touches had her so close to the edge. She couldn’t remember a time before where she had been this turned on. “Can I please daddy?” She managed to beg through laboured breath after a particularly good pass over her fun button. “Please what? I don’t know what you’re asking for if you don’t tell me.” He responded after drawing his hand away. Elizabeth couldn’t see the smile on his face but his tone of voice gave it away entirely. She knew he knew what she meant but she felt extremely bashful and timid laying there on the changing table. Her cheeks were rosey red and she turned her head to the side and shut her eyes behind the blindfold. In a voice barely above a whisper she managed to form the words “may I please cum…daddy?” After a pause with no response, Elizabeth wasn’t entirely sure if he was still even there next to here. “I think I can allow that.” Came the response finally. Her body shuddered at the words, knowing exactly what was to come. He made a few more passes that kept the fire going before she felt something press between her legs. It wasn’t very large but was bulbous and clearly made of a velvety rubber. The action itself brought forth just a minor climax, nothing in comparison to the earth shattering release she had been building up to but a release nonetheless which helped relieve some of the pent up frustration. Her body gave a little involuntary shudder as she clenched her teeth tightly. “Oh, we need to be careful with your teeth, wouldn’t want my little fox to chip a tooth accidentally.” Max commented seeing her clenched smile as she gave a few pants. A moment later she felt some press against her lips and against her better judgement she found her mouth opening almost automatically to accept. Not to her surprise, she felt the silicone nipple of an Amazon sized pacifier gag slide into her mouth and pin her tongue down. A strap was brought around the back of her head and buckled. It was almost involuntary but she felt her mouth give a few gentle suckles to the pacifier, causing the shield to move back and forth against her lips. “If I had brought this with me earlier you would have enjoyed yourself at the restaurant a bit more, but I didn't know exactly where this was going or how much of a little fox you were.” He spoke as his fingers returned to push the object deeper into her sex. She could feel a narrow tail outside that curled up over onto her pelvis and had some idea of what he had just put inside of her. She had seen remote controlled vibrators online before, had even been intrigued by some amateur pornos of people using them in public at restaurants which made her blush even more. She felt something being pressed into her hand above her head, it was small and plastic and her thumb could feel little raised buttons. It was the remote for the vibrator inside of her now. His hand remained in hers as he gently helped guide her thumb to one of the buttons. “This button is to decrease the speed.” He commented as he used her thumb to press the button. She jumped a little in surprise as the vibrator kicked to life at a very low hum. He readjusted his hands and her thumb to the other button she could feel on the remote. “And this button increases speed.” He said as he used her thumb to click up twice on the remote. The vibrator picked up speed dramatically and Elizabeth had to fight to suppress a loud moan, the pacifier helping to muffle the lewd noises her body was trying to make. “Now, you’re not allowed to cum until I finish with your diaper change. I have a second remote myself, we will play a little game. For every click in either direction you go, I will click twice in the opposite direction at my discretion. So if you click down to reduce the intensity, I might immediately click up twice in the opposite direction. Likewise if you click up hoping that I reduce the speed by two clicks I might wait a few minutes to make the change, I will be busy changing your diaper after all. Just a friendly little game where we both get to be the winners. You get to make cummies in your diaper, and I get to watch my little fox enjoy herself.” Max explained. “If you make it through the diaper change, you can come spend the night in bed with me, free of the diaper for the evening. If not… I have a very special crib for you.” The rules of the game were still being analysed in Elizabeth’s head, it was much more complex than she originally thought. The reward and penalty caveats that Max explained at the end also had dramatic differences and the vibrator running between her legs was making it hard to focus. She was also contemplating which route was the actual reward. Clearly, winning was a reward for her, but on the same hand losing was a reward for Max, and she so desperately wanted to make him happy. She figured she’d just play the game and win or lose she’d be winning in the grand scheme of things. “We’ll begin now.” Max said. Almost immediately she clicked up on the vibrator. “Interesting first move, I’ll indulge you since you’ve been holding out already during the explanation.” He clicked down twice for her. She let out a little sigh of relief as the stimulation came down to a much more manageable level. She felt him releasing her leg binds that allowed her lower down onto the table. She was a little grateful as the position had begun to become a little uncomfortable. With her backside down on the diaper fully now, she could clearly tell this diaper was much thicker than the one she had left the apartment in. She could smell the scent of baby powder being applied and could feel the light droppings of the powder on her loins. “It won’t be much fun if you don’t make any moves in our little game so I’ll add a rule. If you go too long without pressing a button I will make the decision for you and go two clicks up.” Max said after the powder had been applied. Elizabeth took the new rule into consideration and contemplated. If she went up, she’d be right back to where she started and it could be awhile before he’d reduce it back down, especially with the critical stage of the diaper change she was currently at. If she went down, he could immediately up the level again to right back where she was and then in good faith of the game she couldn’t immediately make a move. She decided it would be best to go up and nervously pressed the button up again. If she hadn’t had that small orgasm at the beginning she would have already lost at this renewed starting level. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, the submission and thrill was so erotic she almost didn’t know how to contain herself. True to her worries, Max didn’t immediately drop the level and instead she felt his hands begin to explore her. Realistically he was spreading the powder out for an even coating. His touch was gentle yet powerful in a way, it felt like he was kneading her like dough as he rolled her soft skin in his large hands. The powder was a thin protective layer that his hands skated over and acted like a dry lubricant. It felt good, in fact almost too good, to the point she felt her bonds tighten as her body struggled to contain her excitement. What felt like an eternity later, which was only a few minutes at most in reality, she felt his hands leave her skin and felt the vibrator drop to the lowest setting. She relaxed a little, she had won in her mind, at the lowest setting if she went down the device would turn off from here. She relished in her victory with the soft hum between her legs. Max moved on with the diapering process and brought it up between her legs. She took note of how thick it was as it forced her thighs apart. ‘Is it an Amazon sized crawler diaper?’ She pondered, not that it mattered to her much since she would be out of it shortly anyways when she won their game. She had become accustomed slightly to the taping process as she felt the first of the tapes pulled tight sealing around her thigh. He pulled the second tape on the other side onto the landing strip before commenting “it’s your move baby, or do you want daddy to make another move” as he pulled the third tape. She wasn’t sure if he could see the grin on her face from behind the large pacifier shield as her thumb hovered over the down button. With a little bit of regret about winning so easily she pressed the button and the vibrator died. At least for a second before it ramped up to maximum speed. She immediately clenched her entire body against the restraints and barely felt the fourth tape pulled tight. “I guess I forgot to mention that the vibrator will go into maximum power if it goes down from its lowest setting. Daddy always wins.” Max said with a bit of sinisterness in his voice. Not that Elizabeth really heard him as she fought to contain the massive orgasm building, trying to resist with all her might. She barely felt the next tape land and pondered how many tapes this stupid diaper had, if she could just hold for the remaining few she could surely still win. She felt what had to be the last tape pulled tight over her stomach, realizing that there were eight tapes similar to the punishment diaper she had used on Ashley. She managed to hold onto her building orgasm through all of the tapes and still believed she could win if she just held out a bit longer. Unfortunately, similar to the punishment diaper, she felt Max begin the secondary taping process and cinch her waist into the corset-esque diaper. “Sorry about that, almost forgot, it’s my turn.” Max commented before giving his two clicks up. Elizabeth was nervous that it would somehow make the vibrations more intense but it only went down in intensity to the second level. It was a much needed reprieve from the body numbing level that the max setting was. She was so unfocused at this point her thoughts on the game had gone completely out the window. Max was very slowly and meticulously following through with the secondary taping process of cinching the diaper tight around her waist and she had no idea how many were left. She still needed a bit of rest to recuperate from the max level for a minute and was just hoping max wouldn’t immediately return his two clicks. She pressed the down button to lower it a little more, however the vibrator didn’t seem to slow down. Wondering if she hadn’t actually pushed the button, she pressed the down button again. The vibrator registered both clicks at once and ramped back up to the maximum speed which took her breath away and caused her body to test the durability of the changing table’s restraint anchors. The sudden jolt of pleasure caused Elizabeth to fumble the tiny remote and she could barely hear the sound of it clatter against the floor. “Oh, so you’re skipping daddy’s turn? I think you’ll need a penalty for cheating and using two clicks.” Max had paused his diapering process and leaned over to get close to Elizabeth’s ear. “How about double however many clicks up I would’ve gotten for each click down you did. But I guess eight clicks up would put you right back at the maximum again. I would yield my turn but it seems you have dropped your lifeline. There are only two tapes left if you can hold out for just that much longer you’ll win.” Elizabeth swore she could hear the victory in his voice, his warm breath on her ear was pushing buttons she didn’t know she had. She felt him pull one of the last two tapes tight and press it against her diaper. Time seemed to drag on for eternity at this point, she was so close to falling over the edge into the sea of pleasure that had building in her diaper she wasn’t sure she was going to make it. Finally the last tape was detached from its anchor and she felt the padding of the diaper pull tight against her. Her mind repeated ‘just a few more seconds’ to encourage her victory and hold out. She had just about made it when suddenly there was a gentle, almost imperceivable movement at her chest. The minimal touch of Max on her nipple completely shattered any focus she had and she slipped over the edge. Originating from the vibrator in her centre, her body pulled tight against the restraints, it was like time stopped for her, she couldn’t even manage to breath. The blackness behind the blindfold covering her eyes danced with little white stars which soon became a flood of blinding white light. Her body felt like it weighed ten times as much as every muscle refused to follow any sort of command. She didn’t even notice the last tape landing. Max leaned over close to her ear while his large hand moved to palm her the mass of padding between her legs. In his low, powerful voice, he breathed into her ear a simple phrase, “good girl.” His hand pressed down on the padding and the two words broke through the fog of pleasure in her head. She didn’t even stand a chance as wave after wave washed over her body. Had it not been for the pacifier in her mouth, she surely would have been screaming obscenities if she could even form words in this state. Elizabeth had never felt anything like this before in her life. The padding being pressed into her grew warm as her body gave up all forms of control to Max. She would later debate if she had been brought to a squirting orgasm for the first time in her life or if her body had just ceased control of her bladder. As the orgasm slowed down, her body would occasionally convulse. The vibrator was shut down finally to prevent overstimulation. Max stood at the side with a large grin and watched as the Amazon on her changing slowly recovered from her loss. As the convulsions came to an end or at least reduced to small twitches she felt the cuffs around her body release. The blindfold was lifted and she was allowed to shakily sit up. Max easily scooped her up off of the changing table, and carried her to the large bed she had seen when entering. He delicately laid her on the bed in just her diaper and stepped away. The silk sheets were a bit of sensory overload in her current state but the coolness was welcomed. It was the first opportunity to see the diaper she had been sealed in at this point. It was as she expected, an Amazon sized punishment diaper. She flexed her thighs and could feel the stiff spreader bar in the seat between her thighs. It had the same tapes as the little variant which caused it to hug her waist tightly. It was grey with crimson roses adorning the surface, it was actually very pretty for a diaper Elizabeth reasoned as her hands touched the plastic exterior. The LCU had recognized it as her diaper and gave her a little warning. Max returned a moment later with what she assumed was some nightwear since she didn’t have any clothes after he destroyed her dress and had confiscated her undergarments. She was still a bit out of it and didn’t really see what he had retrieved for her to wear. She felt his hands roaming her body and came down her legs to lift each one and slide the garment up. She wasn’t really paying attention as she was dressed. It was a dark maroon velvet material and felt good against her skin and matched the aesthetic of the rest of the room. It was a little tight but comfortably so and helped keep her warm in the cool air that was starting to get to her. He pulled the material up her legs and over the diaper. It seemed to have been designed for the bulk of a diaper as it didn’t struggle to accommodate the mass of padding. She then realised that her feet were also encased in the material as Max rolled her over onto her stomach and fed her arms into sleeves. Predictably so the sleeper she was being put in also had attached mittens that encased her hands. A zipper was pulled up her back slowly and she could hear and feel the locking panel over the zipper pull being closed at her neck. Max then went to work folding her calf back to her thigh and pulling an integrated black strap tight, keeping her heel pinned against her diaper. He duplicated the process to her other leg and then to her arms, pinning her wrists against her shoulders. A strap around her hips was pulled taught and then two straps between her legs were pulled from front to back and tightened. It pulled the cooling diaper into her skin and reminded her of the accident she had had on the changing table. It occurred to her then that she had found Ashley bound to the changing table in a puddle of her own making and she started to put things together and give herself a little grin, thinking that Bethany had done the same thing more or less to Ashley that Max had just done to her. Max released the pacifier gag and slowly extracted it from her mouth, toying with her a little as he pulled it out a little then would release the handle, her body betraying her and sucking it back in. She didn’t know where this oral fixation had come from and had never heard of an Amazon with a suckling issue. He only toyed with her a few more times before he crawled into the bed and easily hoisted his trussed up Amazon onto his lap, letting her straddle him and rest her head on his chest in her incapacitated state. His hands held her diapered rear and gently kneaded the padding against her, his hands moving up occasionally to rub her back. It was pure bliss to Elizabeth as she just cuddled into his hard chest and breathed slowly, a bit of internet research at a later time would deem this aftercare. Max didn’t say a word, just gently caressed her. If she had taken a moment to look up to him she would’ve seen the smile on his face, not one of his devious or intelligent smiles but a smile of happiness. She scooted up after a time and came eye level with him before leaning in for a kiss. Her body responded and she found herself attempting to grind on him, her restrained condition made it a little difficult to get a purchase on the silk sheets of the bed with just her knees and elbows for support. She felt a rise at his hip level and knew she had his attention. “Seeing how I lost and was the only one to have some fun, it only seems fair that I give daddy a reward for winning.” Elizabeth said, the timidness had left and she brought out the Amazon boldness she had tucked away. She smiled as she scooted lower and crawled down till her eyes were level with his pant’s button. She nuzzled her face into his groin and managed to get her teeth on his zipper to pull it down. She looked up with pleading eyes for some aid and for a moment Max let go of his serious dominant demeanour to bring his hands up to the button and hook his thumbs into the waistband to pull them down. He undid his shirt as well and lay there naked for her. His body was absolutely perfect as she suspected, he must have spent a good amount of time in the gym building his physique. From what she had gathered, it was all for this, this was what he was attracted to. His Amazon dominance was so powerful he craved a submissive Amazon, a little or a tweener would be too simple and easy to control. To have a submissive Amazon or to force one into a submissive role, he would have to be able to overpower their own pride, hence why he was so built. She was falling head over heels for him and she wanted to show her commitment. He helped support her head and keep her hair out of her face as she went down on him. Where the bathroom at the theatre was pure carnal desire and a touch violent, this was much more sensual and a show of appreciation. The only sounds made were her diaper rustling under the fabric of the sleeper and soft slurping noises. Despite being unpracticed in oral, Elizabeth was a fast learner and picked up his reactions to her movements. She wouldn’t say it was attempts to tease him but she definitely did her best to drag it out. Sealed in the sleeper and diaper as she was, she knew she wouldn’t be able to offer other parts of herself at the moment so she wanted this to be the best she could make it. It was apparently working as she listened to his soft groans of approval while she kneeled between his legs on her knees and elbows. His hands help support her head as she moved, he wasn’t guiding her but letting her take initiative in the actions. Her jaw ached a bit but she was so engrossed in him that she pushed it aside. After fifteen minutes or more she decided to finish him and from what she had learned over the time frame, she knew what buttons to push to achieve that. She felt him tense up and the hands on either side of her head locked her in position. His hips pushed forward slightly as he released into her mouth with a long groan. She happily swallowed and continued to administer light stimulations to prolong his release. She had never felt this way, so content and submissive and had the vibrator inside her still been turned on, even at the lowest setting, she would’ve joined him at the same time. She smiled up to him and collapsed down to lay her head on his thigh. She only lasted a few minutes to hear the simple praise of “good girl” before she was out like a light. Max smoothly extracted himself from under her without stirring her. He slipped on a pair of pyjama pants that matched the sleep she was in and moved to the side of the bed closer to her. He easily hoisted her up into his arms and laid her head over his shoulder while supporting her diapered rear. He carried her out of the playroom and up the stairs to the nursery he had pieced together. It had taken a considerable amount of time to piece together, all of the furniture fully custom made to accommodate an Amazon. He carried her over to the crib and let the side rails down before laying her down inside. He went to a small panel on the wall next and slid the door open to pull out a bottle and set it in the nook. The in room dispenser quickly filled the bottle after he made a selection on a small touch screen for warm milk with a mild sedative and diuretic. He screwed the lid onto the bottle and crept back over to the crib where Elizabeth lay sleeping. He gently prodded her lips with the nipple and she only stirred a little before her mouth opened to accept the teet. He knew she’d be thirsty after their little session but she drained the bottle much faster than he expected. He decided he’d give her a second bottle of plain milk which she drank a bit slower. When she was done he walked out of the room looking back over to the crib where Elizabeth was now enclosed with the side up and a top set of bars folded down. He had slid a pacifier into her mouth easily once the bottle was done and could see the shield gently bouncing up and down. It felt good to have his nursery’s first occupant as he closed the door. Elizabeth had only been feigning sleep after being laid in the crib and her eyes shot open as soon as the door closed. She panted a little as her face turned dark red in embarrassment but she felt so happy she could barely contain herself, this felt more like a win for her at each passing moment. Internally there were a ton of conflicting emotions but too many things were bouncing around at the same time to even begin to process a thought fully. She hadn’t known about the mild sleep aid that had been added to the bottle but it didn’t really matter as she felt her eyes droop and seal for the night. __________________ Might stick with Max and Elizabeth for the next chapter as well, have some good ideas of where I want to go with it and their relationship. I have some good ideas for Ashley and Bethany too but I’m enjoying Max and Elizabeth more at the moment and the ideas I have for Elizabeth are just too tempting.

Here is another long chapter, it is still a slow build, but as Will gets sicker, the pace of the story timeline will speed up since this is from his perspective. I will have some time jumps later on in the story since this story takes place over the course of around 9 months and the epilogue takes place around 18 months from the start of the story. As much as a War and Peace length ABDL novel would be fun to read, I do not have the patience or creative skills to attempt to write one. Chapter 4 ‘Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT!’ I thought to myself as I was listening to Dr. Richerson. What is going to happen to me? Am I going to be able to go back to school soon? If I get too far behind, will I have to withdraw for the semester? What’s going to happen to my assistantship? Before I could cause myself to start having a panic attack, I heard Dr. Richerson’s voice. “Will, I know this is a lot to take in, but you will be in good hands. I am going to get the nurse to get you ready to be moved up to a room. There will be a specialist that will see you tomorrow and we plan on running more tests to get an exact cause.” In a quiet voice, as I was staring at my lap, I said, “OK, … thanks.” Dr. Richerson gently placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “It will be alright, we are going to give you plenty of fluids and pain medicine as needed to keep you comfortable. Once you are settled in your new room, get some rest tonight and we will figure this out tomorrow.” With a small smile, I looked up at Dr. Richerson, and said, “Thank you, doctor.” With a little squeeze of my shoulder, she then walked out of my room. A few minutes later, Cathy walked in and said, “It looks like you are going to stay with us a little longer. I am going to disconnect your I.V. and your nurse upstairs will connect you to a new I.V. when you get moved to your new room.” I nod and she quickly disconnects the I.V. line and turns off the pump. She then asked, “Are those all your personal belongings?” I said, “Yes,” as I sat up and swung my legs over to hang off the side of the bed. She then walks over and gets my backpack off of the chair and hands it to me. She then grabs all my belongings off of the table and sets them on the bed beside me. She then said, “Someone will be here soon to take you up to your room. I hope you get better soon.” With her departing words, she walks back out of the room. I then stuff all of my clothes and shoes into my backpack. A few minutes later, the same orderly from earlier walks with a wheelchair. He said, “I’m here to take you upstairs to your room.” I nod and stand up with my backpack in hand, and sit in the wheelchair while placing my backpack on my lap. Pushing me out of the room, we make our way down a few corridors and then to an elevator. He hits the call button, and then a moment later the door slides open. Pushing me into the elevator, he hits the button for the 3rd floor. A minute later the door slides back open and I am being pushed down another hallway. We passed by a nurse’s station and then arrived at an open door with the room number 325 on the signage beside it. Pushing me into the room, I see that it is a typical hospital room with a bed in the center, a table with wheels, a chair that can recline in one corner, another straight-back chair in the other, a TV mounted on the wall opposite of the bed and a whiteboard mounted below that is marked with the date, the doctor, the nurse, medication and diet. The orderly stops the wheelchair beside the bed and helps me get up and sit back down on the bed with my backpack sitting beside me. He then leaves with the wheelchair. Looking around the room again, I notice a bathroom off to the side near the room door. From my vantage point, with the door open, I see that there is a counter with a sink, a toilet, and a shower with a tub. Looking back to the other side of the room, there is a large floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city of Tempe. After sitting for about 15 minutes, I hear a knock at the door. Turning to look who it is, I see a tall, slim woman wearing light pink scrubs who looks to be about my age. She has long blonde hair, tied up in a high ponytail and blue eyes. In one of her hands, she is holding a bag of fluids. She said, “Hi, my name is Rachael and I will be your nurse; you must be William.” I said, “Yes, but you can call me Will.” With a smile, “I'm going to get you started on fluids.” Within a minute, she had me hooked back up to a bag of fluids. She then said, “You are going to be staying with us for the night, so you might as well get comfortable. Can I set your bag on the chair, so that you can lay down?” I nod and she takes my bag and sets it down for me. I swing my legs into bed and lay back. She then said, “I saw in your chart that you are to be given pain meds as needed. Do you need any now?” I said, “I am fine for right now.” She then responds, “Well, if you need any later, you can press the call button on the remote. The remote also controls the bed and TV as well. I will be here until 7 tonight, then there will be a nurse taking over for the night, but I will be back at 7 in the morning.” I thanked her and then she walked back out of my room. Deciding to take her advice, I empty my pockets of my keys, wallet, and phone. I set my keys and wallet on the table beside the bed and unlocked my phone. Looking at the screen, I see that it is 5:46 pm and think where has this day gone? My next thought is that I am going to have to call my parents. Thinking, ‘Well let’s get this phone call out the way.’ I hit the screen to call her and waited for her to answer as it was ringing. I hear my mom answer and say, “Hey Will, what did the doctors say?’ I said, “Well, they are not exactly sure what is going on. They think it is some sort of autoimmune thing. They admitted me into the hospital and I am supposed to see a specialist tomorrow.” My mom then said, “Did they give you any more information? Do they know why you are throwing up?” I responded, “They said that the CT scan showed that all my joints were inflamed, but my abdomen looked fine. With the bloodwork results, it looks like my body is attacking my bones and muscles. The weirdest thing was that somehow I am now a 135 pounds and 5 foot 10 inches.” I hear a pause on the line, then in the background, I hear my dad say, “WHAT? You lost 2 inches and lost 20 pounds.” At that exact moment, my stomach started turning and I got the need to poop again. Without wasting any time, I almost shouted into the phone, “Mom, Dad, I have to go to the bathroom now, I will call you back.” I tossed my phone on the bed beside me and rolled out of bed. Unplugging the I.V. pump, I grabbed the I.V. pole and pushed it into the bathroom with me. Closing the door behind me, I sit on the toilet and again poop an almost ungodly amount. After wiping, flushing, and washing my hands; I push the door open and slowly make my way back to bed. Plugging back in the I.V. pump, I lay back in bed and grab my phone. Looking at my phone, I see that I am still on the line with my parents. I said, “Hello, are y’all still there?” I hear my mom say, “Yes, what happened, are you alright?’ I said, “Yeah, it’s just anytime I have to go to the bathroom, I need to go almost immediately.” My mom said, “Well have they done anything to help with your symptoms?” I said, “Yes, the fluids have helped with my headache; they think that I was just dehydrated. They have given me pain meds for my joint aches. They tried letting me drink some chicken broth today, but I just threw it back up.” My mom said, “Well, me and your father plan on being on the next flight out there tomorrow.” I quickly replied, “Y’all don’t need to fly all the way out here, I should hopefully get some answers tomorrow.” In a stern voice, my dad said, “Son, you lost 20 pounds and 2 inches in height, you have not been able to eat or drink in two days, and you don’t have any other family members within a thousand miles of you. We will be there tomorrow. I don’t want to hear any ifs, ands, or buts.” In a meek voice, I said, “OK.” My mom then asked, “What hospital are you staying at?” I replied, “Tempe St. Luke’s, I am staying in room 325 right now.” My mom said, “Okay, we will see you tomorrow, get some rest and text or call us if anything changes. We love you.” I said, “I love y’all too.” Hanging up, I set my phone down on the table. I take the remote turn the TV on and start to surf through the channels. With it being basic cable, there is not much to watch, so I settle on reruns of Criminal Minds. Within 30 minutes of watching TV, I fell asleep. I wake up to my joints throbbing in pain. I grab the remote and hit the call button. A few minutes later a short Latino nurse walks in who looks to be in her early thirties. She is wearing dark purple scrubs and has black hair and brown eyes. Thinking to myself, ‘It must be after 7 pm.’ She introduces herself with, “Hi Will, my name is Isoline, and I will be your nurse tonight. What can I do for you?” I said, “Can I get some more pain medicine?” She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” She then walks out of the room to return a minute later with a syringe in hand. She walks over to my I.V. line and connects the syringe to the port. With a push of the plunger, relief washes over me within seconds. She then said, “Alright, you should be feeling better now, do you need anything else?” I said, “No, but thanks for the meds.” She said, “No problem, let me know if you need anything tonight.” I said, “OK, thanks.” Isoline left me to myself to get some rest. I reclined the bed to a flat position and got under the covers. With the meds taking effect, it did not take me long to succumb to sleep. I wake the next day to the sun shining and my I.V. pump beeping. My joints are throbbing again and I waste no time and hit the call button. As I am waiting on a nurse, I note that despite having to sleep in the hospital last night, it was not as bad as I imagined. I was only woken up once to get my vitals checked and once I had to rush to the bathroom to poop and surprisingly pee too. I hear a knock at the door to shake me out of my thoughts. I see that it is Rachael. She said, “What can I …, I see that you need more fluids” She then pressed some buttons on the pump to get it to stop beeping. She said, “Well, besides for fluids, do you need anything else?” “Can I get some more pain medicine?” I asked. She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” A minute later, Rachael was back with a bag of fluids in one hand and a syringe in the other. She swapped out the empty bag of fluids with the new one, then took the syringe and pushed the meds into my I.V. line. I let out a sigh of relief as the medicine took effect. She looked at me and said, “The doctor wants to get your height and weight this morning. Can you follow me to the nurse's station?” I responded by getting out of bed and grabbing my I.V. pole. She gestured for me to follow her and I walked behind her to the nurse station. I stand on the scale that is in the corner behind the station and she weighs me and I turn around on the scale for her to measure my height. Stepping off the scale and with Rachael standing right beside me, I notice that she is a few inches taller than me. Looking up at her, I asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?” She looked at me and said, “I am about 5 foot and 11 ½ inches tall.” With concern in my voice, “Uh, how much do I weigh and how tall am I?” Glancing at her notes, she said, “I recorded you weighing 129 pounds and having a height of 5 foot, 8 and ½ inches tall.” With a shocked look on my face, I said, “I don’t know if you would believe me, but just a few days ago I was 6 foot and 155 pounds.” She paused for a second, then said, “I saw in your records that it stated that you have lost some height and weight. This is something that I have not seen before, but I have full faith in the doctors finding out what is going on today.” With that statement, she gestured for me to follow her back to my room. Walking back into the room I said, “Is it alright if I take a shower? Besides taking a quick one yesterday morning, I have not taken a shower in days.” She said, “Sure, there are towels, washcloths, soap, and shampoo in the bathroom. There should also be a disposable toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink counter. By the time you are done showering, I will have a clean gown and socks for you to change into.” I said, “Thanks,” and made my way over to my backpack resting on the chair and grabbed the extra pair of sweatpants and underwear that I had packed. Pushing the I.V. pole, I enter the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I turn the shower water on, then begin to strip off all of my clothes. I positioned the I.V. pole beside the shower and after testing to see if the water was warm, I stepped in. After letting the warm water run down my body for a few minutes, I wash my hair and rinse the shampoo out. Grabbing a washcloth off of the towel rack by the shower, I lather it up with a bar of soap. As I am washing my body, I am shocked to notice that all of my body hair is thinning. Rinsing off all the soap, I turned the shower off, grabbed a towel, and quickly dried off. Stepping out of the shower, I slip on my underwear and sweatpants. As I stood in front of the mirror, I was shocked by the reflection that was staring back at me. My beard is thin and patchy and my face looks like the face of me in high school. Not being able to dwell on it too long, I am hit with the need to poop. I turn around and sit down on the toilet to release another colon’s worth of poop. As I am sitting on the toilet and despite all that is happening to me, I still chuckle to myself at the thought of what Daniel Tosh said about a post-shower shit, ‘I might as well go back to bed and start my day over again.’ Deciding that I am done pooping, I wipe, flush, wash my hands, then take the toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth. I also found a comb to comb my hair with. Looking back at my patchy beard, I sigh. I never tried growing a beard until I was in my early twenties, because I thought that it looked weird having partial facial hair. I think to myself, ‘Back to being clean shaved I guess.’ I put the towel, washcloth, gown, and socks in a pile on the floor and grab my dirty sweatpants and underwear. Walking back into my room, I see that Rachael kept her word and there is a folded-up gown with socks on top. I toss my dirty clothes on the chair by my bag and put on the clean gown and socks. I then hit the call button on the remote, sit on the bed, and wait for Rachael. About 10 minutes later, Rachael walks in. “What can I get for you Will?” she said. “Can I get a razor and some shaving cream? My facial and body hair seems to be falling out. I usually can grow a full beard,” I said. After staring at me for a second, she re-composed herself, then said, “That is a symptom that you will need to discuss with the doctor today; in the meantime, I will go and get you a razor and shaving cream.” A minute later, Rachael is back with the razor and shaving cream, and I go back into the bathroom to shave off what is left of my beard. After wiping off my face from shaving, I look into the mirror and see my mid highschool self looking back at me. I still have dark bags under my eyes, but looking at myself, I don’t look a day over 16. Thinking that there is no use in causing myself to have a panic attack, I walk back into my room, lay back in bed, and turn the TV on for background noise as I wait for the doctor. Watching reruns of Law and Order, I fell asleep. I wake up to a knock on the door. I then see a man walk in wearing khakis, a light blue button-down shirt, a dark blue tie, and a white lab coat. He looks to be in his early forties and has light brown hair and brown eyes. “Good morning Will, I am Dr. James Wilson, how are you feeling this morning?” he said. I said, “I have been better, the fluids and pain medicine have been helping.” “That is good to hear. Could you please tell me all of the symptoms that you have been having over the past few days,” he said. I managed to tell him about the vomiting, strange bowel movements, joint pain, excessive tiredness and weakness, and headaches. I also told him about the height and weight loss. “There is one more thing that I noticed this morning. When I was taking a shower, it looked like all my body hair was starting to fall out. After taking a shower, I also noticed that my beard was thinning and patchy. I had to shave what was left off due to it looking so bad,” I said. After pausing for a second to think, Dr. Wilson said, “It seems that you have some odd symptoms. It does look like an autoimmune disease of some kind, but your symptoms do not look like some of the more common ones like Lupus. I am going to have blood cultures taken to rule out an infection that could have been missed yesterday. I will order another blood panel to see if anything changed from yesterday along with testing for different autoimmune diseases. I would like to take another urine sample and a stool sample too. I will put in an order too for a full body CT scan and X-ray. Do you have any questions?” I said, “Uh, … not really. Do you know when I will have the results back?” “We should have some of the results back today, but most of the test results will not be in until sometime between tomorrow and Sunday,” he said. “OK,” I said. “One more thing; I know that you have not had any success with eating and drinking over the past few days, but I would like for you to try eating some jello or soup broth today. If you still cannot keep it down, then we will need to explore other options for getting nutrition in you,” he said. I replied, “I will try eating some jello at lunch.” “I will put the orders in for everything and will see you tomorrow to go over any of the results that come back,” he said. I thanked him and he walked out of the room. I grabbed my phone off of the table and saw that I had a text from my mom saying that they should be at the hospital between 4 and 5. With a quick “thumbs up” response, I see that it is 11 am. I think ‘crap’, I am supposed to be in class today. Then I realized that I never finished my abstract algebra homework that is due today and I left my ODE homework at my apartment when I emptied my backpack that is also due today. Opening up my email, I composed an email to all three of my class professors, including my applied matrix theory class. In the body of the email, I told them about me being sick since Tuesday night and that I am currently in the hospital, and that it looks like I will be here for at least over the weekend. With the email complete, I hit send. Not knowing what next week has in store for me, I pull up the email chain from Dr. Lau and explain in the email about me being in the hospital and that it is best to go ahead and plan for me possibly not being back next week to teach. I go on to explain that all of the students' assignments have been graded but the quiz from the class on Tuesday and yesterday. I then tell him that the quiz from Tuesday is in the top drawer of my desk in my office if I am not back in time to grade them. After hitting send, I see Rachael walk in pushing a cart. She said, “Will, I am going to draw some blood.” I nod then she pushes the cart by my bed and takes out all the supplies to get a blood sample. She then begins to fill what looks to be around 12 vials of blood. When she was done and putting a bandaid on my arm, I jokingly said, “It seems like I am donating blood, not giving a sample.” With a smile, she said, “It certainly looks that way.” She then takes two other items off of the cart. Turning back to me she held up a clear cup and said, “This is for a urine sample.” Then holding up an opaque white container that looks like a Tupperware container, she said, “This is for a stool sample, I am going to leave both containers in the bathroom for the next time you have to go. Is there anything you need from me?” I said, “The doctor wants me to try eating something, could I have some jello please.” She said, “Sure, do you want strawberry, orange, or lime?” I said, “I will take the lime.” She said, “I will be back in a few minutes with your jello.” She pushed the cart back out of the room and returned about 5 minutes later with a single-serving cup of green jello with a plastic spool. She then said, “Please let me know if you get sick after eating this so I can let the doctor know.” I responded with a “Yes”, she walked out of the room and I began tearing into the small cup of jello. Within seconds of setting the empty cup on the table, I feel the need to throw up. I reach for the vomit bag on the table and a moment later I am throwing up the green jello into it. As soon as I am done dry heaving, I get the need to poop again. Not wanting to waste any time, since I need more time to get a sample, I get out of bed with the vomit bag in one hand and then unplug the I.V. pump with the other. Pushing the I.V. pole, I throw the used vomit bag away in the medical waste bin as I make my way into the bathroom. I grab the container for a stool sample and remove the lid. Looking for the best way to do this without making a mess and overfilling the container. I stood in front of the toilet and with one hand holding the container below my butt from between my legs, I hover over the toilet to let the first wave of poop into the container. As soon as the first amount of poop is deposited into the container, I immediately clench my cheeks and pull the container from between my legs and plant my butt onto the toilet to finish pooping. As I am sitting on the toilet, I feel the need to pee. Thinking to myself, ‘This is the first time ever, that I will have to hold my bladder while pooping.’ I hurriedly finished, wiped, and flushed. I grabbed the urine sample cup, stood back in front of the toilet, collected a sample, then emptied the rest of the contents of my bladder into the toilet and flushed. I put the lids on both containers and washed my hands. I made it back to bed and hit the call button for Rachael. A few minutes later, Rachael walks in and asks, “Did you have any trouble eating your jello?” I said, “Yeah, as soon as I was finished eating, I threw it back up.” She said, “I’m sorry to hear that, I will let the doctor know, is there anything else I can get for you?” “No, but I was able to get a stool and urine sample. Both samples are on the bathroom counter,” I said. “OK, someone should be here soon to take you to get your X-ray and CT scan.” Rachael then grabbed the samples and walked out of my room. About 30 minutes later an orderly was walking into my room. After getting me situated in the wheelchair with my I.V., we made the 5-minute journey back downstairs to the radiology department. I was first given a full body x-ray that only lasted about 15 minutes, but halfway through the full body CT scan, the morphine was beginning to wear off. By the time the orderly got me back into my room, I was clenching my jaw from the pain in all my joints. I hit the call button and Rachael was in my room within minutes. Rachael asked, “What can I get for you, Will?” Through a clenching jaw, I said, “I need pain meds now!” She said, “I will be right back.” She almost ran out of the room. In under a minute later, she was speed walking back in with a syringe in hand. Wasting no time, she pushed the medicine into my I.V. line. With relief written on my face, I said, “Thank you.” She said, “I'm glad that helped, get some rest, you had a busy day so far.” On that note and with the pain medicine taking full effect, I fell asleep. I awoke sometime later to both my parents standing at the foot of my bed with puzzled looks on their faces. I then hear my mom say, “Will?!?”

Chapter 16: As Anticipated It was amazing how many things could get lost all year in a locker. I stood in front of my locker with a backpack and a garbage bag in front of me on the floor, sorting out the contents of my locker one-by-one. Some of it got tossed in my backpack to keep. Most things went into the trash bag. The locker was now about halfway empty. By the end of the school year, the locker had reached its maximum capacity. I had already tossed more than a dozen long-lost pens and pencils into my backpack. I was sure I’d find another couple dozen by the time I was through with emptying the locker. There were a number of overdue library books I needed to bring to the school library before heading out on the bus, an inside-out, balled up jacket I had left once it had become too warm outside to need it. There were half-empty plastic water bottles, crumpled up papers from homework assignments, and textbooks that I thankfully would never need to ever open again. “You’re not finished yet?” Emma asked as she walked up next to me and stared into the abyss that was my locker. I shrugged as I tossed out a Spanish workbook that I wasn’t going to need again. It was true that my locker was fuller than most, but that hadn’t been the main reason for how long it was taking me to get it all emptied out. The conversation about bedwetting with my parents and sister yesterday evening had given me a lot to think about. The pills had proved to not be much of a problem. Yes, they had made it impossible to wet the bed in the middle of the night, as I would have preferred, but I didn’t have any difficulty peeing in bed once my alarm had woken me up in the morning. I was rather proud of how I had figured out a way to wake up early without disturbing the rest of my family. Waking up to an alarm blaring from an earbud wasn’t the ideal way to start the morning, but it gave me time to wet the bed and relax before getting ready for school. However, despite needing to pee in the morning, the puddle that had formed on the bed around my bottom was a lot smaller than any of the other times I had peed in the bed previously, proof that the medication had done its job of limiting my overnight urine output. Mom, of course, had been a bit disappointed when she woke me up. She made sure to clarify that she wasn’t unhappy with me in any way, but it was clear she had higher expectations for how the medicine would perform. She had very much been expecting to see dry sheets and pajamas in the morning. “Eww, is that what I think it is?” Emma pointed to a discolored plastic baggie that had been revealed when I had taken the book out of the locker. I grimaced as I looked down at what was likely the remnants of an unfinished lunch from months ago. That was one of the problems with my locker. I always intended to get stuff out again right away, but as soon as it became buried, it would slip completely out of my mind. Emma held her nose in disgust as I pinched the corner of the baggie and quickly deposited it into the garbage bag. I hoped there weren’t any additional baggies like that in the locker, but I was beginning to dread what I might end up discovering closer to the bottom. “So, about the all-nighter? What did your mom say about the sleepover?” Emma asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes. It was apparent that my friends were going to keep interrogating me until they got an answer. I answered the first half of that question truthfully. “Doing an all-nighter is a no-go. My parents don’t want us drinking all that caffeine and going crazy.” “That’s silly,” Emma said as she watched me continue to empty the locker. “We wouldn’t have any problem getting away with that at my place. My parents wouldn’t care one bit as long as we didn’t wake them up.” “Then we can go that later in the summer. Just don’t mention it to my mom.” “But, like, we’re still good for a regular sleepover next Friday on your birthday?” I paused a second before answering her question. I didn’t want to say that Mom hadn’t decided yet. That would just be an open invitation to unwelcome questions about what could have changed to make it so I couldn’t have sleepovers anymore. Besides, I was sure that I’d have access to pull-ups next week, which would allow Mom to say yes to my friends spending the night. “Of course.” “That’s good,” Emma said. “I’ll go let Angie know. She’s a lot closer to getting her locker cleaned up than you are. I’ll see you at lunch.” I watched as Emma darted off around the corner, weaving through all the other students who were busy getting their hallway lockers cleaned out for the year as well. Well, I was committed to the sleepover now, which meant I was going to need to get my parents to get me the pull-ups or risk an even more awkward conversation with my friends about how we weren’t actually going to have a sleepover next week. But it wasn’t time to ask my parents about pull-ups yet. There was still the doctor’s appointment to consider on Monday. That appointment had me worried. I didn’t like going to the doctor, even for normal yearly checkups. There was that weird thing they squeezed around my arm to take my pulse, which nearly sent me into a panic attack every time they did it. But apart from the normal poking and prodding, the worst of it was always the needles. At least this time, I could be confident that I wouldn’t need to get any new vaccinations. But what would the doctor make of my bedwetting? I felt confident that I had fooled my entire family so far. They hadn’t expressed a single inkling of doubt that my bedwetting was anything other than genuine. The idea of someone wetting the bed on purpose had to be so far out there that it probably wasn’t ever a scenario they had considered. But what would happen when I was examined by an actual doctor? What if there was something I had missed during my times of faking bedwetting, something I had gotten wrong that would indicate to them that something was not as it seemed? What if they ran all of their tests and determined that they couldn’t find anything wrong with me at all? Would they chalk it up to just a random fluke of genetics? Or would they begin to think something was amiss? On the other hand, the doctor’s appointment could prove useful to my quest to get pull-ups. Surely, they would be aware of that being an option for dealing with bedwetting. Perhaps they might even recommend it as a solution. That would be ideal. That way, I could still at least pretend that I wasn’t all that happy about wearing pull-ups. I had to keep in mind that I was supposed to be behaving like someone who wasn’t happy at all about having to suddenly deal with bedwetting. I resumed my inspection of the contents of my locker. To my great relief, I didn’t find any additional bags of moldy sandwiches. <><><> Despite my older sister’s warning about the side effects she had experienced when she had previously been taking this medication for her own bedwetting, I had felt perfectly fine all day long. I was tired after coming home from school, but that was just because I hadn’t gotten my usual amount of sleep. I hadn’t woken up at weird times in the middle of the night at all. Grace’s main complaint about the medication was that it had given her some extremely painful headaches. My head hadn’t hurt, and as far as I could tell, nothing else seemed to be off about my body. That hadn’t stopped me from constantly wincing and rubbing my head all morning – especially when Mom and Grace were around. I needed to give them as many reasons as possible to stop with the pills and try to move on to another solution. I continued with the act as Grace unlocked the front door to let me in. I groaned and rubbed my head as I eased my overly full backpack down onto the floor. “You feeling alright?” Grace asked. “How did it go last night?” I groaned again. “No, your stupid pills didn’t even work. The only thing they gave me was this lousy headache.” “That’s too bad,” Grace said. “Maybe you’ll have better luck tonight. Oh, and Mom left a note for you in the kitchen. She wanted to make sure you got your laundry done.” That was just great. Nothing like being reminded of additional chores the minute I was finally free from school and homework for the summer. Still, I knew better than to disobey, and this request suddenly gave me a good idea. There were still about twenty minutes until Jackson got home from school, enough time to try out something new I had been wanting to experience. I followed Grace as she walked up the stairs ahead of me. She’d be secluded in her bedroom again until it was time to walk over to the bus stop to collect my younger brother when he was dropped off later this afternoon. I grabbed my full laundry hamper and hauled it all the way to the laundry room in the basement. Yes, this was going to be perfect. Ever since I had discovered how much I had enjoyed wetting myself in bed earlier this week, I had been desperately curious to see what it would be like to do that in different situations. But there were a couple of challenges with trying out this new desire. The first was that there were very few places where I could easily pee my pants without causing a massive mess. Most of our house was carpeted. I didn’t even want to think about how much of a pain it would be to try to clean up that much urine out of the carpet. That left me with a few options. My bed, of course, worked perfectly because of the waterproof mattress. I considered peeing my pants with my clothes on in the bathtub but couldn’t bring myself to find that to be an acceptable option. It just felt too weird to urinate in a spot where I and the rest of my family would later be standing. That left the laundry room in the basement. Its cement floor would make clean-up easy. Plus, there was even a drain on the floor, so if I were to pee myself over that, clean-up would be even easier. That was far and away the best location, especially as I was not as likely to be interrupted, and it would be able to easily hear someone approaching from upstairs. Having decided on a location, there was still another major obstacle, which was that I was rarely left at home by myself. I was hoping that would change this summer now that I would be turning thirteen in a week. In previous summers, Mom had put Jackson in a daycare-like summer camp that he would go to most days for the entirety of summer break. As for me, my schedule had varied. There were day and overnight camps that I would get signed up for. When I wasn’t doing that, I was often spending the day at one of my friend’s places if a parent or older sibling happened to be home. But be allowed to stay at home all on my own? Absolutely not. I wasn’t sure how many good opportunities I would get to experiment with peeing my pants during the day, so I had to be ready to make the most of them when they did show up. The benefit of being in the basement was that I could easily tell where everyone else was in the house. I would be able to hear Grace’s footsteps the moment she started walking down the stairs to the main floor. I had to guess that she wasn’t going to be coming to the basement, but if she was, I would have ample warning to straighten things up quickly. I had worked extra hard to stay hydrated the last couple of hours at school in preparation for this possibility, but now I was wondering if I would be able to pull it off. I ran through the scenario once more in my head. I would change into an old pair of leggings from my hamper. I would stand in the corner of the laundry room where there was a drain in the floor. I would wet my pants there, where it would be easiest to clean up afterward. I would allow myself some time to enjoy the experience before using some of my other dirty clothes to dry off and mop up everything from the floor. Then, everything could be tossed in the washing machine, and no one else would have a clue what had happened once I had changed back into my regular clothes for the day. All so complicated. It would be a lot easier if I simply had a pull-up. I took off my leggings and replaced them with another pair from the laundry hamper. That was one of the strange things about this new interest. I didn’t have any desire to pee myself without any clothes on. I wondered why that was? With this new pair of leggings on, I positioned myself right over the small drain set into the cement floor. I listened carefully. There was no sound from my sister moving around upstairs. This would be another first for me. I had never peed myself while standing before. I assumed that it would be easier to do than while lying down. I spread my legs apart slightly and focused on trying to get my bladder to release. The bottom of my pants began to get warm, and then a warm, wet sensation began to run down both of my legs. It was exhilarating in a way I couldn’t define. Part of it was tied to the physical sensation of what I was doing, but there was something else as well. Was there a certain amount of excitement that came from doing something so socially forbidden? Like always, once I started, there was no stopping it at all. Not that I in any way wanted it to stop. I wished that this feeling could go on forever rather than just the thirty seconds that it would take for my bladder to fully empty. It had been every bit as enjoyable as I had anticipated all day long. The only problem was that it was over far too soon. I looked down at my feet. I knew I had forgotten something. I hadn’t taken off my socks, which were now soaked. For some reason, I had figured that the urine would just go straight through the bottom of my pants and stream onto the floor. I hadn’t considered that it my might run down my legs to my feet. Even then, the drain had proven to be quite effective, as there was only a small puddle remaining beneath me despite how much I had peed. With the sound of urine dripping onto the floor now over, I listened intently again for any movement upstairs. There was complete silence. At any moment now, Grace should head down to the front door to wait for Jackson. I looked back down at the puddle beneath my feet. Again, this would have been so much easier if I had been wearing a pull-up. I wouldn’t have even had to sneak downstairs. I could have done this in the comfort of my own bedroom. I thought back to that girl I had seen at the mall, the one who had been about Jackson’s age, getting her pull-up changed in the restroom. For a moment, I wished that was me. Faking bedwetting was one thing. Pulling that off was easy, given my sister’s history of bedwetting. And wearing pull-ups at night would be an easy secret to keep, even from my friends. But to have accidents during the day was something entirely else. That would call for a much more thorough investigation into what was going on with my body. Besides, I didn’t think I could survive the shame of having my parents, Grace, or Jackson, witness me wetting my pants during the day. And that would make my task of hiding pull-ups from my friends nearly impossible, not to mention what I would have to do at school. No, that wasn’t an option, despite how much I would enjoy being able to wet my pants at any moment whenever I wanted to. But I consoled myself with the possibility that once I got my hands on some pull-ups to wear at night, I could get away with wearing them occasionally during the day. The worst part of it was that I had to clean up right away, rather than continuing to stand in the corner in my wet clothes. The only good thing was that the mess was relatively easy to clean up. I wet some of my clothes in the sink next to the washing machine and used them to mop up the small puddle of urine that surrounded the drain. Satisfied that I’d managed to get everything cleaned up, I tossed the rest of my clothes in the washing machine – along with a large amount of detergent – and got it started before changing back into the leggings I had worn to school. The pounding of distant footsteps told me that Grace was now coming down the stairs to the main floor. I waited until I’d heard the front door slam shut before I made my way back upstairs. My heart was still racing as I shut the door to my bedroom behind me. With all of these new things to explore, this was going to be the best summer ever. I retrieved an old magazine from the bottom of the drawer beneath my bed and flipped instantly to the right page, my eyes fixated on a pair of special undergarments. If everything went right, in less than a week they would be mine. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Chapter 49: Weeks melded into a rhythmic pattern of nursery days and home evenings. The routine became as familiar as the plush toys that surrounded me in my crib. Each morning, Mommy would dress me in a fresh onesie, securing a pacifier to my outfit before taking me to Mrs. Henderson's daycare. Mommy would walk me to the daycare, the rhythmic creaking of the pram's wheels merging with the occasional gurgles of contentment that escaped my pacifier. Once there, Mrs. Henderson would seamlessly integrate the pram into the nursery's routine, creating a cozy cocoon where I could rest and observe the activities of the other toddlers. The daycare days unfolded with Mrs. Henderson and Mrs. Simmons orchestrating the nursery's bustling energy. Stroller outings became a regular occurrence, with the other toddlers comfortably seated in twin strollers, their laughter intermingling with the ambient sounds of the neighborhood. As for me, the pram became my haven during these outings—strapped in securely, my surroundings a blend of the stroller's hood and the gentle hum of the outside world. At home, after a day spent in the comforting chaos of the daycare, Mommy continued the rituals of caretaking. The highchair hosted meals where spoonfuls of pureed baby food found their way to my waiting mouth. Diaper changes, once a source of embarrassment, became routine, and Mommy's gentle baby talk accompanied the familiar rustling of a fresh diaper. In the evenings, the nursery's soft lullabies were replaced by the warmth of my crib at home. The plush toys served as silent companions, witnessing the continuation of my infantile journey. The sun was shining down upon us, as Mommy led me up the driveway towards Aunty Karen's house and to the front door. The doorbell chimed, resonating through the hallway as Aunty Karen greeted us with a warm smile. Her eyes sparkled with affection as she hugged me tightly. "Susan! Patrick!" Aunty Karen exclaimed, ushering us into the vibrant living room. As the door closed behind us, the air carried a different energy, a subtle shift that tugged at the edges of my infantile awareness. Mommy guided me through the house and towards Jack’s room, where surely my Cousin would be waiting my arrival, ready to play. The familiar scent of baby powder mingled with the distant hum of children's laughter, creating a nostalgic ambiance. Entering Jack's room, my eyes widened in subtle recognition of the changes that had unfolded within these four walls. Jack's crib, once a miniature fortress of safety, had vanished, replaced by a toddler bed adorned with colorful sheets. Stuffed animals now shared the space with action figures and picture books, and the room seemed to breathe with the vibrancy of a young child's world. Aunty Karen, noticing my gaze lingering on the transformed room, chuckled softly. "Jack's growing up so fast, isn't he? We decided it was time for a big boy bed, and he absolutely loves it." Mommy nodded in agreement, her hand gently patting my padded bottom. "They do grow up quickly, don't they?" she remarked, a subtle twinge of acknowledgment in her voice. As Aunty Karen and Mommy engaged in conversation about the nuances of parenthood, my attention gravitated towards Cousin Jack. He quickly waddled across the room once he spotted me, every step with a sense of newfound confidence, his once tentative steps now more purposeful. His chubby cheeks beamed with innocence, yet there was an undeniable trace of the burgeoning independence that accompanies growing up. The room itself told a story of Jack's gradual evolution. A small desk adorned with coloring books and crayons stood in one corner, a testament to the expanding horizons of a young mind. The shelves once occupied solely by baby toys now housed an eclectic mix of toddler-friendly playthings. Cousin Jack's room buzzed with the animated chatter of a blossoming toddler. His voice, once a collection of cute babbling, had transformed into a cascade of words that painted a vivid picture of his developing world. "Aunty! Look!" Jack pointed enthusiastically to a drawing he'd just completed at his small desk, the crayons scattered in an array of vibrant colors. Aunty Karen praised him with an encouraging smile, reveling in the simple joys of a child's artistic triumph. "Wow, Jack, that's amazing! You're such a big boy now," Mommy exclaimed, ruffling his soft hair. n the midst of this lively exchange, I found myself clinging to the comfort of my pacifier, my thumb gently tracing circles on the soft surface. The contrast between Jack's verbal exuberance and my silence was palpable. I felt a twinge of hesitance, a reluctance to partake in the verbal dance that seemed to come so effortlessly to Jack. Mommy, sensing my hesitation, knelt beside me, her warm eyes meeting mine. "Hey there, sweetheart. Jack's doing so well with his words. Can you show Mommy your big-boy words too?" I gazed up at her with a mixture of uncertainty and a subtle yearning for understanding. The pacifier, a familiar ally, beckoned to me like a silent refuge. I hesitated, sucking on it thoughtfully. Mommy's expression softened, her fingers gently stroking my hair. "It's okay, Patrick.” As Jack continued to narrate his adventures with colorful dinosaurs and imaginary friends, I clung to the pacifier as if it held the answers to the unspoken questions swirling within me. Jack, noticing my contemplative silence, waddled over with a cheerful grin. "Patwick, pway too! We have fun!" His invitation hung in the air, a bridge between our worlds. I met his gaze, finding a glimmer of camaraderie in his innocent eyes. Yet, the pacifier remained a silent companion, a barrier between the unspoken and the verbal. As Jack's bubbly laughter echoed through the room, a storm brewed within the confines of my thoughts. I sat in the midst of his animated world, pacifier nestled between my lips, eyes fixated on the playful dance of his toddlerhood. The realization, a subtle revelation that had tiptoed through the recesses of my mind, now unfurled its weight upon my consciousness. Jack, my once-baby cousin, had surpassed me. His room, a tangible tableau of growth and progress, spoke volumes about the inexorable march of time. The crib replaced by a toddler bed, baby toys sharing space with more age-appropriate companions—each shift in the room's dynamics whispered the passage of days, a progression I had been too immersed in my own infantile cocoon to fully grasp. I had observed Jack's gradual ascent into the realm of verbal fluency, the confident strides of a toddler finding his voice. Yet, the stark reality now hit me with an unexpected force. Jack, the symbol of innocent infancy, had not only kept pace with time but had surged ahead, leaving me trailing in the wake of his developmental milestones. The pace of my regression had become a paradoxical race against the very childhood I was supposed to be reliving. Jack, once a companion in the shared journey of diapers and onesies, now emerged as a symbol of the fleeting nature of time, slipping through my fingers like sand. The nursery days, once a sanctuary, now bore the weight of a realization—Jack, my once-baby cousin, had not only grown up but had effortlessly overtaken the very existence I sought to relive. The living room buzzed with the effervescent energy of childish delight as Mommy and Aunty Karen looked on with warm smiles. Me, clad in a snug onesie with a plush teddy bear pattern, sat on the colorful playmat surrounded by an array of soft toys. Jack, now a sprightly toddler in his vibrant t-shirt and shorts, bounced around with the unbridled exuberance of youth. "Alright, you two little munchkins, play nicely together now!" Aunty Karen encouraged, her eyes twinkling with maternal affection. Mommy nodded, her attention divided between the us. "Mommy's right here if you need anything, sweetheart," she assured me, as I responded with a subtle coo and a contented suckle on his pacifier. As Jack animatedly stacked blocks into towering structures, I found solace in the familiarity of my plush toys, arranging them in a comforting tableau. The pacifier, a constant companion, offered a silent refuge amid the lively symphony of Jack's play. Aunty Karen's gaze, however, lingered on me with a mixture of affection and a subtle acknowledgment of the nuanced dynamics at play. Jack, in the midst of his construction fervor, glanced at me with sparkling eyes. "Patwick, play blocks too!" he urged, extending a small handful towards me. I hesitated, my fingers momentarily tracing the contours of my pacifier. The unspoken reluctance to fully embrace the invitation hung in the air, a subtle acknowledgment that our play, though shared, unfolded on disparate planes of existence. Aunty Karen, sensing the nuanced dynamics, offered an encouraging smile. "Go on, Patrick. Play with Jack. It's fun!" Reluctantly, I set the pacifier aside, my hands tentatively reaching for the colorful blocks. Jack beamed with delight, his eyes gleaming as our worlds momentarily converged in a shared exploration of shapes and colors. The blocks clicked together, forming a miniature city under Jack's imaginative command. He narrated tales of adventures, his words weaving a vivid tapestry that danced in the air like colorful butterflies. I sat beside him, hands fumbling with the blocks, struggling to articulate my contributions in the language of play that Jack had effortlessly mastered. "Look, Patwick! Dinosaurs!" Jack exclaimed, his small fingers arranging the blocks into whimsical shapes. I smiled, a fragile echo of enthusiasm on my lips, but my attempts at verbalizing my own ideas were met with an internal stumbling. The words seemed to elude me, slipping through the grasp of my mental faculties like sand slipping through clenched fingers. As Jack continued his animated storytelling, my gaze shifted to Mommy and Aunty Karen, who observed with expressions caught between pride and concern. The room pulsed with the vivacity of Jack's play, and the discrepancy between his verbal fluency and my own struggled attempts lay bare. Jack handed me a toy dinosaur, his eyes filled with anticipation. "Roar, Patwick! Like dis!" My mind wrestled with the simplicity of the command. Roaring should be easy, right? Yet, as I attempted to mimic the playful growl, the sounds emerged as feeble whispers, lost in the effervescent symphony of Jack's vibrant narrative. Aunty Karen, sensing my internal struggle, offered an encouraging smile. "It's okay, Patrick. Everyone has their own way of playing. Just have fun!" I nodded, my silent agreement lost in the echoes of Jack's exuberant laughter. The disparity between us deepened—a subtle reminder that, in this shared moment of play, Jack had not only surpassed the confines of infancy but had become the maestro orchestrating a symphony in which I struggled to find my voice. Mommy knelt beside me, her hand resting on my shoulder. "You're doing great, sweetheart. Playtime is about enjoying each other's company." Yet, the weight of inadequacy lingered, an unspoken burden that accompanied the realization of being outpaced in the simple act of play. Jack, in his world of vibrant imagination, had left the cocoon of infancy far behind, while I remained ensconced in its gentle embrace. As the playtime unfolded, the mental dissonance intensified—a silent struggle against the disparity, a yearning to bridge the gap between the imaginative realms we inhabited. The blocks continued to click, and the room resonated with Jack's laughter. The weight of inadequacy pressed upon me, a silent storm brewing within the confines of my thoughts. Jack's laughter, once a symphony of shared innocence, now felt like a distant melody echoing in the background. A sudden surge of emotion welled up, a turbulent wave that threatened to spill over. My eyes, glistening with unshed tears, betrayed the internal turmoil. Mommy, attuned to the subtle shifts in my demeanor, knelt beside me with concern etched across her face. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, her gentle voice a soothing balm. I struggled to find the words, the frustration and sadness welling up like an overwhelming tide. The pacifier, once a reliable sanctuary, felt inadequate in the face of this emotional tempest. Aunty Karen, sensing the palpable tension, observed with a mixture of concern and reassurance. Mommy, ever vigilant, reached out, brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. "Is it time for a cuddle, Patrick?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for answers. The words hovered on the tip of my tongue, an elusive expression of the inner turmoil. Instead, a whimper escaped, a raw manifestation of the emotional storm that raged within. Mommy, recognizing the need for comfort, moved swiftly, retrieving a soft baby bottle filled with warm formula. "Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. Mommy's here," she whispered, as the soothing cadence of Jack's play continued in the background, the clatter of blocks and the joyful laughter creating a backdrop to the intimate scene unfolding on the couch. Mommy, with a tender touch, eased me onto her lap, cradling me in the curve of her arm. The plush cushions of the couch embraced us as a haven—a sanctuary where the complexities of regression found solace. With a gentle sway, Mommy began to feed me the warm bottle of formula, the rhythmic suckling providing both nourishment and a reassuring connection. The bottle, a conduit for comfort, became a focal point in this tender moment—a tangible link between the infantile realm and the emotional needs that transcended the boundaries of regression. Mommy's soothing whispers accompanied the delicate dance of the bottle between us. "There, there, sweetheart. Mommy's here. You can tell Mommy what's bothering you when you're ready." Aunty Karen, glancing over from the playful tableau with Jack, offered a knowing smile. The complexities of this journey, both visible and concealed, were etched across her features. Jack, immersed in the joy of building block towers, remained blissfully unaware of the emotional currents swirling on the couch. As the bottle neared its end, a quiet calm settled within me. The storm of emotions that had raged moments ago began to dissipate, leaving behind a sense of serenity. Mommy, with a tender kiss on my forehead, cradled me in her arms, the remnants of the bottle set aside. "Feeling better, sweetheart?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for the telltale signs of emotional release. With a gentle sigh of reassurance, Mommy eased me down onto the couch cushions, where the residual warmth of her embrace lingered. As she stood up, a watchful guardian over both Jack's joyful play and my tender moment of regression, Aunty Karen momentarily slipped out of the room, her steps echoing softly in the distance. The room, bathed in the soft glow of sunlight filtering through sheer curtains, retained the echoes of playtime—blocks clattering, Jack's laughter cascading like a melody. Mommy, returning to her observation post beside the couch, watched over me with a loving gaze, a silent assurance that I was not alone. Aunty Karen re-entered the room, her arms cradling a folded object obscured by a gentle smile. As she approached, the mystery she held unfurled—a colorful baby gym play mat, a relic from Jack's earlier days. The mat, adorned with whimsical patterns and dangling toys, now lay waiting to become a canvas for new memories. "Look what I found, Patrick!" Aunty Karen exclaimed, unfolding the play mat with care. The vibrant hues of the mat unfurled like a canvas of childhood dreams. Soft fabric adorned with smiling animals and pastel-colored shapes sprawled across the living room floor, transforming the space into a haven of innocence. Dangling from the arches were a myriad of toys—soft plushies, crinkling shapes, and a tiny mirror reflecting the curious eyes of an infant. Mommy, her eyes twinkling with a blend of nostalgia and anticipation, gestured for me to join the makeshift play area. As I laid down on the inviting surface of the mat, the texture beneath me became a comforting embrace—a fusion of memory and the unfolding present. Aunty Karen, with the tender efficiency of a caregiver, positioned a couple of plush toys within reach, their friendly faces inviting exploration. "There you go, Patrick. Just like old times, huh?" she remarked with a warm smile. The soft fabric of the play mat cradled me, a gentle embrace that invited exploration. Above me, the arches adorned with dangling toys swayed in a delicate dance, captivating my attention with their playful allure. Plush animals with smiling faces and colorful shapes swirled in a mesmerizing ballet, each movement a lullaby of innocence. The tiny mirror hanging from one of the arches caught my gaze—a miniature portal reflecting the wonder in my eyes. As I reached out to touch the mirrored surface, the captivating dance continued, the toys responding to the gentle sways of my exploration. Mommy, seated on the couch beside Aunty Karen observed the scene with a knowing smile. "It's incredible how these simple toys can still captivate, isn't it?" Karen nodded, her eyes gleaming with a blend of affection and understanding. "Jack used to love this play mat. But, you know, he's outgrown it now." As I continued to engage with the dangling treasures above, their conversation became a distant hum. The plush toys, once cherished by Jack, seemed to have found new life in my exploration. The room, with its echoes of playtime, became a sanctuary where the nuances of regression unfolded with each touch and gaze. Aunty Karen's voice, however, carried a subtle note of reflection. "It's strange, isn't it? Watching Jack grow up so quickly. But, Patrick seems to have found his own magic in these simple toys." Mommy, her gaze flitting between the scene on the play mat and Aunty Karen, sighed with a tender understanding. The enchanting dance of dangling toys and the gentle swaying of the play mat's arches lulled me into a serene trance. The soft textures beneath me became a haven, and the room's surroundings blurred as I slipped into the comforting embrace of an infantile haze. Time lost its sharp edges, the rhythmic dance above casting a spell that transported me to a world where simplicity reigned. Aunty Karen, engrossed in conversation with Mommy, continued to share reflections on Jack's growth and the delicate balance of adulthood and regression. As the words flowed around me like a distant melody, my gaze fixated on the plush toys and the mirrored reflection that seemed to beckon with an irresistible charm. In this cocoon of regression, I lost track of the minutes, the soft coos and giggles escaping me echoing in the room. Unbeknownst to me, Jack, amidst his play, approached Aunty Karen with a fidgety restlessness. "Mommy, I wet," he announced with the innocence only a toddler could possess. Aunty Karen, momentarily torn between the ongoing conversation and Jack's needs, smiled reassuringly. "Alright, sweetheart, let's get you changed." The room, once wrapped in the hazy enchantment of the play mat, witnessed an unexpected disruption. A loud, wet sound echoed through the air, shattering the delicate ambiance like a sudden clap of thunder. I felt a peculiar warmth, accompanied by a familiar pressure, and the realization dawned with an embarrassing clarity. Aunty Karen, momentarily taken aback, redirected her attention from Jack. My face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and realization as the unmistakable sound of a wet fart and the subsequent squelch of a messy diaper filled the room. "Oh, sweetheart," Mommy sighed, her eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and empathy. The play mat, once a haven of innocence, now served as a makeshift changing station. Mommy, with a mix of tenderness and efficiency, laid me down on the soft fabric, the plush toys and mirrored arches witnessing the less glamorous aspects of regression. Mommy, with a reassuring smile, began the task of changing my diaper. The room, once filled with playful coos and the rhythmic dance of dangling toys, now bore witness to the intricate rituals of caregiving. Aunty Karen, momentarily having left the room to tend to Jack's changing needs, returned with him in tow. The room seemed to hold its breath as the contrasting scenes unfolded—the awkward reality of my messy diaper change juxtaposed with the more mundane aspects of Jack's progression. As Mommy worked, the plush toys and the mirrored arches offered silent companionship. Aunty Karen, with Jack by her side, observed the scene with a knowing smile. "Looks like we have a bit of cleanup here, huh?" Meanwhile, Jack stood nearby, an unexpected presence in his changed state. Aunty Karen, catching my glance, explained, "Oh, we decided to try something new today, Patrick. Jack's in a pull-up now. He's been doing so well with potty training." My eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and recognition. Jack, my once-baby cousin, had indeed crossed another milestone—a shift from diapers to pull-ups, a step towards the independence of potty training. The room seemed to hold a subtle breath as this unexpected revelation unfolded. As Mommy secured the fresh diaper in place, Jack, with an air of newfound pride, stood beside his mom. A sudden wave of realization and vulnerability swept over me as Jack's transition to pull-ups and the impending journey into potty training became all too apparent. The stark contrast between his progress and my continued immersion in the world of diapers and changing rituals hit me with an unexpected force. As Aunty Karen and Mommy conversed, I felt a lump forming in my throat, the unspoken acknowledgment of the growing divide between Jack's journey and my own. The room, once filled with coos and laughter, now echoed with a solitary note of vulnerability. Aunty Karen noticed my crestfallen expression, and Mommy, ever attuned to the subtle shifts in my emotions, paused in her actions. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Mommy inquired, her eyes searching mine for the telltale signs of distress. I bit my lip, the weight of unspoken emotions threatening to spill over. The realization that Jack was swiftly moving towards potty training, leaving me behind in the realm of diapers and onesies, became a poignant reality. The room seemed to blur as a tear escaped, tracing a path down my cheek. "I think someone might be overtired," she remarked, offering a tender smile. "Let's get you ready for a nap, sweetheart." With a gentle touch, Mommy carefully redressed me in my onesie, the soft fabric a comforting embrace against my skin. The plush toys and mirrored arches, witnesses to the emotional nuances of regression, seemed to emanate a quiet understanding. The realization of Jack's impending potty training, though still looming, took a backseat to the immediate need for rest and rejuvenation. Mommy, gently leading me through the house with a nurturing tenderness, announced, "I think it's time for a little nap, Patrick.” Aunty Karen, understanding the need for a respite, offered a warm smile, bridging the gap between shared experiences and the individual journeys that lay ahead. "Thank you for having us, Karen," Mommy expressed her gratitude, her voice carrying a blend of appreciation and a hint of wistfulness. "It's always a joy to spend time with you and Jack." Aunty Karen reciprocated with a gentle hug, the unspoken understanding of the unique dynamics lingering in the embrace. "Anytime, Susan.” As we made our way towards the door, Jack, with his newfound pride in pull-ups, waved a cheerful goodbye. The room, once filled with the nuanced dance of regression and growth, faded into the background. Outside, the fresh air embraced us, carrying the promise of a tranquil journey home. Mommy guided me towards our car, a familiar cocoon that awaited us. As Mommy settled me into my carseat, the rhythmic hum of the engine became a lullaby, a prelude to the nap that awaited. Mommy, with a tender smile, glanced back at Aunty Karen's house. "We'll be back soon, won't we, Patrick?" she murmured, her words a reassurance, despite the emotional nuances of the day.

Just donated $69.69 to hopefully make this sting a little less. That leaves you with $69.69 over the $400 goal, which should both help with the $30 hit and give you some extra cash for whatever you might need. <3 I know how chargebacks can be, back when I was younger a friend gave me a decent chunk of money as a paypal gift. Their father did a chargeback on all card purchases cause they were being too wasteful and spent like a ton on a twitch streamer or something. Well that not only put me in the negatives, but also slapped a huge fee ontop (since there were multiple of these gifts, each one with a fee smacked on for the chargeback.) I did not have a job and basically just had a paypal for friends and family to easily give me money. I had a very, very hard time getting my paypal into the positives again.

You do not have to show a burden of having sent it to the Library of Congress or anything. A simple title and your pen name should suffice with a shot of when you published it would suffice in theory. I think even there being a question of legitimacy would make them pull it. I'd try the report it. I agree with Valentine, standing up to these idiots is a sad necessity.

Just be up front with them when you are meeting with the nurse and or tell your doctor. I have been in this situation many of times. They are professional. The diapers they normally provide are thin and cheap. I always take my own.

When i was about 12 years old and in middle school, i had several peeing incidents happen to me due to my incontinence, one even happened in the gym during gym class which was very humiliating for me, so to avoid further embarrassment my mother she decided to make me wear diapers/underpants all day also because she was a little tired of being called from school to bring changes of clothes. With the soul of a teenager i perceived all this as a punishment, and obviously i felt quite mortified and humiliated, i remember that i used baggy trousers and long sweatshirts that covered my bottom to hide the diaper to prevent my classmates from finding out, knowing how humiliated i would have felt for their possible teasing. However, as the days went by i got used to it and wearing diapers gave me some comfort, sometimes it happened that i wet myself because i discovered that i somehow liked the sensation of heat in the diaper. i remember that sometimes she would come home wet and I would go to mom to console me and she would help me change into a clean diaper. I had discovered that that type of attention made me feel good, even though I knew that at 12 i was no longer old enough, but in those moments i felt like a child and pampered. It was probably there that the regression thing sparked in me, now that I'm 20 years old obviously that thing is no longer possible, at 11/12 years old it's still acceptable, but not at 20. The only hope of being able to experience these things as well as in my fantasy now, would be to have a partner who supports you, it's not an easy thing to confess, it's already hard to confess that you suffer from urinary incontinence, however I don't lose hope Now i wear diapers at night to avoid nocturnal wetting, i wouldn't need them because my bed wetting is very rare, but it makes me feel safe. Or when so far in advance that i won't have easy access to the bathroom and as a result i wear a pullup which in an emergency saves me from the humiliation of an accident. However, to talk about my regression fetish, it's not that i want to go back to being a child completely, i'm really proud of my mind and my intelligence which has always allowed me to get high grades at school first and now at university, I would be terrified of lose it. My fetish consists of remaining myself but at the same time feeling pampered and cared for for a while, it's something that recharges me and makes me feel good, I don't know if I can explain myself

Hi. Soon, I’ll be in hospital because I’m having surgery on my right arm. How should I tell them that I need to wear diapers due to Bedwetting and how do they handle it? What is ur experience? Thanks for your replies

Wishing my fellow Christians a very Happy Easter And for the non believers, you get some chocolate too!

Chapter 36: Offer Little in Love 2 – LittleFallenPrincess “Miss Clarke…” “Mrs. I’m a married woman, SIR.” I replied, trying to pull all my snark together into one sentence. “If you can even make it through this without being declared immature and ending up back in nappies…” The Prime Minister responded with his own snark that made him sound like he was in control. But we both knew that wasn’t true, otherwise he wouldn’t be contacting me. “If anyone is incompetent and in need of re-raising… it's you, Sir. Going against the will of the people… even from the start… that’s a pretty idiotic thing to do…” “As if they know what is best for the country.” He scoffed. “I thought you had values.” “I do. And those values include knowing what is best for all littles. And that involves nurseries, regular changings and all responsibility taken away from you.” “I thought the party always supported littles. At least… enough to give us some freedom. That's why I agreed to join you.” “They did. That’s what made it so easy to make my way to a prominent leadership role and form the cabinet I desired. I do believe in a lot the Green Democrats aspire for… but not when it comes to littles.” He sounded so cocky. “And you’ve been working with Chris Slater this entire time.” “He’s the only little I actually admire. He had an Amazon mind in a little’s body, and I promised him great things. Shame you had to attack him like that.” “So what do you want, Sir…?” “I want you to call off this silly tantrum, this instant.” He barked at me. “Tantrum? Is that what you think this is? You think we’re just having a strop because we didn’t get what we want?” “Exactly that. So call it off, Mrs Clarke, otherwise I’ll have to resort to…” “Using hypnosis on an unwilling population, mass scale? Arresting people for protesting lawfully?” “They are rioting…” “Some are. A tiny minority are using this unrest as a great opportunity to steal and destroy stuff. But most who are being arrested are peacefully protesting. It’s your police force that are…” “Oh come off it. As if a little knows anything about how the world works.” He laughed. “I know a lot more about the cruelty of this world than you do. And unlike you, I’ve met people from other worlds and seen how they treat others less privileged. Some treat others with disdain, sure, but most try to treat minorities with kindness and respect. We need to follow their example. Littles need equal rights.” “Littles need a sharp spanking and an early bedtime.” He snapped angrily at me. “I can see this is going nowhere. You’re unreasonable.” I sighed. “And you’re a little brat.” “Sir…? Go fuck yourself.” And with that, I hung up on him. There was an awkward silence filling the room. “So… no offer then?” Dotty asked, finally breaking it. “No offer. He won’t even listen to reason, let alone a little’s demands.” I replied, trying to keep my anger in check now that that was over. “What now then?” She asked. “We continue. We shut down more of the country. Get our message out. Get more of the population joining with us. They have a dwindling police force and no backup from the armed forces, they can only hold out so long.” “But what…” Dotty asked before being cut off. “I’m proud of you, Olivia.” Claire said, pulling me in for a hug. “I would have said much worse to that human stain.” “I… I need to see Charlie now, if that’s okay?” I asked around the room. “Of course, hun. Dotty, you got control for a few hours?” Claire asked Dotty. Dotty just nodded and smiled up at her, before turning to me and smiling more. “I’ll… be back soon…” I returned the smile, waving goodbye to my newest friend and ally. ----------------------------------------------------------------- “CHARLIE!” I screamed, running through the doorway, leaping up onto the huge hospital bed and pouncing on my wife, who seemed surprised by my sudden appearance. Claire had snuck me out of LIBRA HQ and through the city, before sneaking me into the hospital, as this was probably one of the locations they were looking out for me most. “L… Liv?” Charlie replied, her face lighting up upon seeing me. “Is it you? As in… the real you?” I asked, pulling my face up from her chest long enough to ask it. “I… think so. I… Liv… I…” “It’s okay! I’m glad you’re…” “No, I have to say something… I…” “No, Charlie, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” “I do though. I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through that.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks. “It’s okay, Charlie, seriously, it wasn’t you.” I replied, holding back my own tears as best I could. “It was though. Those were my maternal urges… I just… I couldn’t control them.” “So? We’ve been together for years now, and you’ve handled them well. It wasn’t until Chris…” “Chris…? Chris did… this… to me?” “Yeah, he was working with the Prime Minister and wanted to knock me down a peg… or a hundred.” “I’ll kill…” She clenched her fists in a fit of pure rage, so I quickly placed my small hand on her much larger one, and thankfully that was enough for her to come back to me. “I… nearly did.” I admitted. “What happened? I came to and Nessa of all people was sitting here with me. That was a huge surprise after all these years! She told me she met you and that you told her to come watch over me whilst apparently the country is going to shit?” “Language…” I grinned up at her. “Oi! Don’t you start, little missy! I… ugh, no, sorry… that just… feels weird now…” “No, it’s okay, I think it’ll take a lot of time and even more therapy to process what happened so we can get back to our normal Mummy/baby thing.” “I… didn’t do too much damage did I? I remember flashes of it… but… that’s about it. Like I was in the passenger seat… but only for some of it.” “You used that brute force hypnosis stuff on me, which I must admit… wasn’t fun.” “How… how are you…?” Her voice quivered, she was worried. “Still me? Nanites, thankfully. Though it did actually affect me at first.” “Oh good!” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Speaking of which… how am I back to normal now?” “Faith is here. She’s been working with the device that turned you into that… person… and managed to reverse engineer what happened to your brain and fix it.” “Remind me to thank her. And Eve. Again. Also… when did you and Nessa meet? I… always thought you two would get along, and it makes me so happy to see you did. I just wish I kept in touch with her…” “She saved my life when I ran from the police during the protests.” I laughed, awkwardly. “You… ran… from the police?” “I… yeah… there may or may not be a warrant out for my arrest…” “Olivia…” She looked at me, sternly, using that disapproving voice she only saves for special occasions. ‘Uh oh. Full name… I’m in trouble.’ “Look, over half the population is protesting up and down the country, the government is corrupt and the unrest was already a powder keg just waiting for a spark. My near-adoption and the press event was the spark that lit it up.” I explained, hoping it would make her worry about me less. “Your near…? OLIVIA! What the hell happened whilst I was out of it?” Charlie sounded scared again… “I… I’ll catch you up. But I’ll have to leave in about an hour or so, LIBRA still needs my help.” “You’re helping LIBRA? After everything Chris did…?” “I’m leading them.” I grinned at her, awkwardly. “You’re… well, I guess that was a natural progression for you. You just can’t help but get involved when people need you, can you?” She smiled at me, warmly. “Like Mummy, like baby…” “Touché. Fine, well… just… be careful, okay baby?” Yeah… it still felt weird her calling me that. I guess that’s going to take a while for me to be okay with again. “I… I will.” “So, snuggle up and tell me about everything that has been going on…” “Charlie? Oh hey, Liv!” Faith said from the door just after I told Charlie about what my earlier conversation with the Prime Minister was about. I had told Charlie all about the speech, the incident with Chris, the near adoption, the protests, Nessa saving me, and then all about working with LIBRA to keep things going. And the entire time she had this face that was full of fear… and pride. We had avoided the awkward subject of what happened whilst she was… you know… ‘not herself’. I think that was going to be our unspoken thing for a while, until we let it all out in therapy. Ellie has got her work cut out for her… “Hey Faith, thanks for healing Charlie and getting her back on her feet.” I said to my sister. “Ah ah! No getting out of bed yet! I may have fixed the damage, but there is still some healing to do. The brain is a complex and sensitive thing to mess about with. At least that’s what Eve told me to tell you. So bed rest for you, okay Charlie?” Faith replied, sounding just like Charlie does when she’s trying to be all dominant with me. Charlie just smiled and nodded at Faith, who smiled back at her. “So… Liv…?” Faith said, shifting on her feet like she had some big secret she wanted to say, but couldn’t. “What’s up?” I asked. “Can… Can I talk to you outside for a moment?” “Sure! Charlie… are…?” I was about to ask my wife if she was okay with me leaving her for a bit, but as usual, she knew what I was going to say before I even said it. I’m glad we’re still on that wavelength at least, even if our Mummy/baby stuff is out of whack right now. “I’ll be fine. The nurses here are wonderful and Eve said she’d be here soon to give me another scan. Plus I have Nessa outside, keeping watch. So go, help her with whatever she needs, I’ll be fine. But promise to come back, I need more kisses from my wife!” “I… fine. Now I’m definitely coming back straight away, I missed you!” “I missed you too.” Charlie replied, grabbing my cheeks with her hands and pulling me forwards, planting a soft, cute little kiss on my forehead, before lifting me off the bed effortlessly and patting my butt, making me scoot away quickly. “What is it, Faith?” I asked as we walked into a little room that we had walked down multiple corridors to get to. It was empty, with no-one nearby, not even in the hallway outside. Faith really liked the isolation it seemed, and this benefited me because I had to stay hidden, just in case this place was being surveilled. “I fixed it.” She said, closing the door behind us, leaving me in this little room with nothing but a table, some tools, and a bunch of mechanical scraps. “Fixed what?” “The device.” She said, pointing to a small box-shaped device on the table with a little console on one of its faces. ‘That… that’s the simple, innocent-looking thing that broke Charlie…’ I thought to myself, feeling anger surge through my body. “Wait, it needed fixing?” I asked. “When I got my hands on it, I could tell that Slater guy and his tech team had tried to create this so it would work on a mass scale, something akin to the tech the Amazons use on littles through televisions. This would be really hard to trace, no one would even know what was happening until it was too late, but they never got it to work on anything mass scale. It uses soundwaves to…” “Another time, Faith. So what did you fix exactly?” I asked. “I’ve gotten it so the soundwaves can actually be broadcast through anything. Televisions, radios, phone signals… whatever. Just one press of the button and it’ll broadcast whatever subliminal message you want to send into the minds of Amazons… or littles in fact. If activated, it would send out a signal wirelessly, broadcasting it on any nearby devices. And if those devices are connected to the internet or through cables… then it would spread like a virus, sending the message through the whole system. You can limit how far it goes, but yeah… this could go everywhere.” “So this…” “Could turn the Amazons into mindless babies, just like what they do to littles.” “That… sounds dangerous.” I replied. “Oh it is! Imagine if Chris used this tech mass scale. I know he used it on that Madison woman, and on Charlie… but imagine the power he could have over anyone!” “I’m glad we uncovered it all before he had a chance. This machine… should be destroyed.” “But Liv… this… this could solve everything. Make Amazons into mindless babies…” “That would be cruel and unjust, plus who would take care of all those Amazons? Not like littles can just step up… we’re not as strong or tall as they are.” “Oh I agree, I don’t think I could ever do that to them. But what about just making them more… open minded?” Faith suggested. “Open minded?” I asked, confused. “To littles. To equality. You could make them agree to your Littles Equality Act thing. You could fix the country in seconds. You could fix the world…” “I… that does sound tempting. No more protests needed. No more fighting. No more illegal adoptions… we couldn’t use it on other countries though, if it did get noticed it could be considered an act of war… I…” I was speechless. This… this was bigger than any one person. Using it on Madison was… okay, I guess… but this… “Faith… this is too much power for anyone.” “Oh I agree!” “Then why did you fix it?” “I… look, I see something not working, I have to fix it just to prove that I can! Plus I needed to test the new update I’m going to upload to Charlie’s nanites to protect her from this in the future.” “I…” I sighed and put my palm to my forehead. “We need to destroy it.” “That’s okay, I know how to disable it and take it apart so that no one can rebuild it. As long as we make sure Chris doesn’t have copies and can’t rebuild it himself… we’ll be okay.” She grabbed a screwdriver and sat down at the desk, pulling the device close to her. But just as she began to unscrew the plate on the front, I felt something within me push me forward… a feeling of unease, as internally I could feel conflict within my conscience. “Faith… stop…” I said, placing my hand over the small console on the front of the device, hovering mere inches above the keypad. One simple press… ======================================================= Little in Love 2 just finished on my SubscribeStar! (Well, there's an epilogue on Wednesday, but that's it). My next Monstrum story starts up there on Sunday! Also thinking of opening up short story commissions now too finally, now that my writers block seems to have subsided. If you haven't seen, I'm now up and running on Subscribestar! (Sorry for the reminder again, trying to get my subscribers back after the Patreon rubbish!) ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my patrons for their support over the past couple of years! Seriously, your support meant the world to me, and I hope to be set up somewhere new soon. New chapters of Little in Love 2 every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! I'm sure you'll get some answers by the time it's finished :3 And yes, it's the usual 40 chapters + epilogue, though they won't be posted together, they'll be posted on different days. I swear... one of these days I'll shake things up with a story that isn't 40 chapters and epilogue... one that has no mean cliffhangers but ends on the WORST thing imaginable. Just to shock you all... Also it won't be sapphic at all... jk As if my stories will ever stop being super gay! An Amazon? Willing to talk to a little... reasonably?

Seventy-Six I walked out of Paige’s bathroom and closed the door behind me–praying that she’d not open that door until three to four years from now. I slowly walked back to the living room, trying not to look too ashamed of myself. Paige was sitting on the couch, in the exact spot that I left her. The look of concern that was on her face when I got up and practically ran to the bathroom was still there. “Are you alright?” she asked. “Better now,” I said. “Sorry about that.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize. I was just worried when you ran off like you did.” “Something, uh, wasn’t sitting well with me,” I said. “Something I ate? Drank?” “Poor baby,” she cooed, patting the seat on the couch where I had been sitting earlier. “Come over here. Sit down. I’ll get you some water. Tea, maybe?” I dragged myself across the living room and sat down on the couch again, this time sitting so close to her that I almost landed on her lap. Her hands were on me almost immediately, gently petting my thighs, my chest, my shoulders, and my head. She clearly wanted to do whatever she could to take care of me–just as it was also clear that she didn’t have very much experience in taking care of anyone besides herself. “I’ll be okay,” I assured her. “But I need to be honest with you about something. And it’s pretty embarrassing.” “We’re wearing diapers,” she said. “You can probably tell me anything.” “I…really, uhm, had to go.” I realized that that probably wasn’t clear enough, and I needed to elaborate: “I had to…go. To the bathroom.” I knew that probably wasn’t much better. “Right,” she said, nodding. She had paused, head cocked and waiting for more information. I sighed, realizing I was going to have to spell it out for her: “I, uhm, used your toilet.” “Oh,” she said, her eyes growing with surprise. “I didn’t think you did that.” “I don’t,” I said. “Well…I haven’t. Not in a very long time. But I had to, uhm… Well…let’s just say that it would’ve been a terrible first date if I had done it in my diaper.” “Ah,” she nodded. “I’ll trust your judgment.” “You may want to avoid using your bathroom for a while.” She laughed. “You do realize that I stink the damn thing up every day, right?” I sighed and shook my head. “Sorry, this is a really weird conversation. Especially on the first night we’re hanging out.” “You handled it like a champ,” she said, slowly rubbing my thigh with her hand. “Though, I have to admit, I’m a little curious about what might have been.” I was cracking a smile now. Everything about her–her tone, the way she touched me, the way she looked at me–had this warm and friendly energy that helped me feel incredibly comfortable. “It wouldn’t have been pretty.” “Describe it to me,” she said. “Let’s pretend it happened. What do you think would’ve happened next?” “D-do you want the, uh, best case scenario?” She nodded, emitting a melodic hum into my ear. “Please. The very best case scenario.” I took a deep breath, leaned back on the couch, and closed my eyes so that I could better picture the scene. I felt her one hand on my thigh still. The other was rubbing my back between my shoulder blades. “So…I rushed into the bathroom,” I started, my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to ask if she was sure she wanted to hear this–but she had already told me as much. I needed to trust that. “My bowels were…uhm… Well, I really had to go. I had to go for a while. It was a miracle I didn’t burst sooner.” I opted to leave out the part where I was distraught because I had been thinking about Ava while I kissed her. “Oh my,” she whispered into my ear, sounding like this was the most dramatic thing that she had ever heard in her life. “What happens then?” “I…I had to make a choice. The toilet. Or the diaper.” “And you chose the…” “I chose the diaper,” I said. In my fantasies, I’d always choose the diaper. Her hand’s grip tightened on my thigh a little. I thought it might be closer to my diaper now, but I’m not entirely sure. I remembered thinking that there was a reason I didn’t want her hand to get too close to my diaper, but I couldn’t remember what it was. It’s fine. For now, I let it be. “So what did you do?” she asked. “I… Well, what else could I do? I wear diapers. I don’t use the potty.” “Mmm,” she practically squeaks into my ear. She liked that. We were getting into the part where I worried she might regret asking me to make up this little story. “I thought about leaving the bathroom and just rushing back to the living room. I, uhm, wanted you to see it happen, you know? I wanted you to watch me do it.” In my periphery, I saw her head nodding slightly. “But I didn’t make it. All at once, it’s just…pushed out of me.” “It?” she asked. My cheeks warm and I bite my bottom lip for a moment. “Y-you know what I mean, right?” “Well…I just want to be sure you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about. “My…poop. All at once, I just…pooped myself. I pooped in my diaper.” Her hand has migrated further up my thigh. “It was a lot, huh?” “Oh yes,” I nodded. “It just…completely filled the back of my diaper. Like, I’m talking completely packed.” “How did it feel when it happened?” I don’t have to try too hard to imagine what it might have felt like. I’ve experienced it so many times over the last few months–the exact kind of sudden and epic mess that I’m describing now–that I know exactly what it would’ve felt like. I could describe it to her in detail–the feeling of the back of the diaper expanding. The feeling of the mushy load spreading into every vacant space in the diaper that it can find. The weight of it. The foul smell of it. The shameful crackling and crinkling noises that were unique to filling a diaper. I try to summarize it as succinctly as I could: “It felt amazing. Absolutely amazing.” “So then? You’re in the bathroom–my bathroom. You know that I’m out here waiting for you. And…what’s going through your mind?” What’s going through my mind was: I really wish I had actually loaded my diaper now instead of wussing out and filling her toilet instead. “I mean, I was scared. Sure, we talked a lot about using our diapers–but there’s a big difference between talking about them and you actually experiencing me loading my diaper with a pretty big mess. But I can’t stay in your bathroom forever. Besides…my clean diapers are out here in the living room. With you.” “Ah, yes,” she said, giggling. “So you’d have to come out sooner or later.” “Let’s say that, then, I opened the bathroom door and emerged,” I said to her. “Let’s say I stumbled out here in a messy, stinky, diaper. What would you do?” “Well for starters,” she said, “your pants would have to come off. I’d want to see it.” “It’d be gross.” “Maybe I’d like that.” “Be careful what you wish for,” I said. “You never know until you smell it for yourself.” She laughed. “This is a fantasy, remember? I’m sure it smells disgusting. It should, right? It’s poop. But, at that moment, it doesn’t really bother me. I like it. I like the look of shame on your face. I like how it makes me, uhm, jealous.” “Jealous?” “Maybe I’d wish that I had done the same thing.” “You could,” I offered. “It’s a fantasy, remember? It can be anything you want.” “Not this time. This time, we’re talking about your diaper and my reaction to that.” “Ah, right. So, you’re green with jealousy.” “And you’re just…brown?” We both laughed. “What do you do then?” I asked. “Hmm. I dunno.” “Okay, let me ask you this,” I said. “What do you wish would happen to you, if you were in my shoes?” Another content little hum into my ear. “Hmm. Perhaps I’d say: ‘Look at you, you big baby. Did you just make poopies in your diaper?’ And you’d have tears welling in your eyes and you’d nod pathetically. And I’d say: ‘I thought big boys used the potty. But clearly you’re not a big boy, are you?’” My cock strained in my cage as her hand got closer and closer to my diaper. I was supposed to be stopping her, but I couldn’t go through with it. She continued: “I’d say something like: ‘If you’re gonna act like a diaper-filling baby, you ought to be treated like one.’ And I’d make you, uhm, bend over. And I’d spank your dirty diaper.” “Babies don’t usually get spanked for using their diapers,” I said. “It’s my fantasy,” she laughed. “Right, right. Go on.” “Well, I mean, that’s it. I’d spank your dirty diaper. Have you ever had that happen to you before?” I had, of course. More times than she’d even be able to imagine. I still wasn’t ready to get into all of that yet. “Uh, y-yeah. It’s happened.” “I bet that felt good, huh?” I nodded. “Very.” Her hand was on my crotch. It was stroking the swollen padding through my pants. I, still, wasn’t stopping her. Her fingers were sneaking up towards the waistband now, likely aiming to unfasten my belt. If I was going to stop her, this would be the time. But how? Her hand reached my belt and she stopped. “Sh-should I keep going?” I sighed. “If it’s okay with you…maybe not tonight?” Her hand began to retract, but not entirely and not all at once. It was back on my thigh again–a sort-of truce, as if to say: ‘I respect your wishes, but I’m returning to the last place I knew you were okay with my hand being.’ “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like a doofus all of a sudden. “I just… Well, the whole bathroom thing and my diaper is completely drenched and… I think I’d feel more comfortable if we left some of the mystery for another night.” To my relief, she was smiling and nodding. “Of course.” “Thank you, Ava.” “Huh?” Shit. I’m still thinking about Ava. “Uh…Thank you for understanding.” She seemed mostly unphased by my slip-up. Either she didn’t understand that ‘Ava’ was a name, or she just wasn’t sure what I had said in the first place. “Honestly, it’s kind of a good thing. I tend to be a little…handsy? I could probably benefit from some slowing-down.” This doesn’t make me feel as good as she might’ve hoped it did. I–and probably any other guy in her path–would normally have no issue with her handsy-ness. Paige kept a smile on her face and seemed good natured about the situation, but I could still detect a note of disappointment from her as we continued to sit on the couch together. She had, afterall, brought me back to her apartment from the bar. And now, it seemed we were relegated to doing the same thing we would’ve been doing back at the bar–just talking. “What about your diaper?” I asked. “It’s got to be feeling pretty heavy right now. Pretty squishy?” “Oh, uh, yeah,” she said, her cheeks blushing a little. “I kind of love it.” Mommy would love Paige, I suspected. “You think you’ll change soon?” She shrugged. “I probably should, huh? I can start to smell my pissy pants.” “That could be my diaper too,” I offered, despite being pretty sure that I had smelled her diaper earlier when we were coming up the stairs. “Like, I know we’re not supposed to like this. It’s gross and it’s just not what adults do. But, man…” “I know,” I said, nodding. “Believe me, I know exactly what you mean.” I’d have offered to change her diaper for her, but after shooting her down for getting too close to my own, it didn’t seem like the best idea. So we just talked a while more. Mostly, Paige told me about her sister’s rockstar life–showing me assorted memorabilia and photographs of her sisters standing next to other famous people. Ryan Gosling. The kid from The Sopranos. Tom Hardy. And plenty of people who I didn’t recognize, despite Paige’s excitement when showing me the photos. I was only half paying attention. The other half of my brain was somewhere else entirely. It was wherever Ava was–following her around. I was imagining what she and Caleb might be doing at this very moment. Canoodling. Making out. Fucking. Not a single wet–or dry, for that matter–diaper in sight. “W-well, I had a really good time with you tonight,” I finally said. “But I think I should probably get going.” Again, Paige seemed disappointed, but understanding. “Of course. You’re good to get home?” “Oh yeah,” I shrugged. “Just need to get to the train station and take it out to the suburbs.” From there, I’d call an Uber. Or Mommy. “I can walk you back to the train station if you want.” “I appreciate that,” I said. “But you should probably take care of that wet diaper of yours.” Her cheeks reddened again and she laughed. “Yeah…fair enough. Though, before that, I’ll probably…” Her voice trailed off as she seemed to realize that she was saying too much. “Uh, yeah, I’ll take care of this.” We embraced in her doorway. Again, it felt good to be so close to her–I just wished things had been a little different tonight. Maybe I had jumped the gun with this date. I wasn’t as ready for this as I thought I was. Soon after, I was on the train, squishing myself into a seat in my swampy diaper. I drew my phone from my pocket and texted Mommy. Her reply came pretty quickly. I did, but the answer felt a little more complicated than that. The evening felt steeped in unrealized potential. All the things it could’ve been, and it was mostly just two people talking about diapers. And rockstars. I suspected Mommy would be disappointed by that, but she didn’t say as much. I wondered how much I’d tell her. Would I tell her about my thoughts of Ava? No, probably not. Would I tell her that I used a toilet? Well…she’d probably suspect something was up when she saw the state of my diaper. Wet, for sure–but I had to do a good amount of wiggling and careful prying of the top tapes to get the thing off so I could pull it down. And the same tapes weren’t quite as sticky when I tried pulling it back up again. It was safe to say that my pants were the only thing keeping my diaper in place now. Stepping off the train onto the suburban platform, I immediately spotted Mommy’s gleaming SUV in the parking lot. I quickly trotted over to it, holding my pants up so they didn’t slip with the shifting weight of my loose and heavy diaper. “Looks like you’re carrying quite the load there, Baby,” Mommy smiled as I slipped into the passenger seat. “It’s…just wet.” I didn’t tell her about the condition of the diaper itself. I was thinking I’d wait and let her discover it for herself. “You had a good evening?” she asked as she pulled out of the station’s parking lot. I nodded. “Do you think the two of you will hang out again?” “I think so.” It seemed likely enough. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t happen before I could get my life in a little more order–though the likelihood of it actually working out that way seemed pretty slim. “She was fond of you, I assume.” “Y-yeah.” “How could she not be? You’re the cutest little thing.” Within moments of rolling into the garage, I was escorted back to my nursery where I quickly disrobed from my more ‘adult’ attire and flopped myself onto the changing table. Mommy carefully inspected my diaper, noticing the poor shape the tapes and waistband seemed to be in. “What happened here, Baby? Was this girl trying to pull your diaper right off of you?” “N-no… I had to, uhm, take it off.” Her eyebrows raised curiously. “Oh? Showing off your cage for her? Surely she wasn’t changing you–seeing as how it looks like you’ve been sitting in this puddle for at least an hour or two.” I shook my head. “I…used the potty–uhm, the toilet.” “Ha. You? The potty?” “I…came close to pooping myself in her apartment…” “Her apartment?” “Y-yeah. But…nothing happened.” “You’re allowed to do things, Baby. I never said you couldn’t.” It was nice to hear her say that, but it didn’t make what I said any less true. I repeated myself: “We didn’t do anything. But I really had to go. I didn’t want her to see me like that. I didn’t want to have to deal with changing myself there.” “How did that feel?” she asked. “What was it like to use a potty again?” Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it that much. I did what I felt I had to do in the moment, and it felt like the most normal thing–save for the embarrassment of leaving a toxic cloud behind in this poor girl’s bathroom. It was only in hindsight that it seemed strange or alien. “Good, I think.” “Uh oh. Is my baby ready for potty training?” I’d have been tempted to say yes–but feeling Mommy’s hands on my diaper as she pulled it open had me reconsidering. I was never going to get sick of this. In moments like this, I felt I could be convinced to have my diaper changed for me for the rest of my life. “I…don’t know.” “Well, you think about it, Baby,” she cooed to me as she drew the first moist wipe from its package. She ran it across my skin, sending those classic tingles up my spine. Maybe I’d just be in diapers for the rest of my life. “How was your night?” I asked. I don’t know what I was expecting–some breezy remark about doing some work or talking to Neve. But I noticed a change in her body language right away. She seemed guarded. Cautious, even. “It was fine,” she said. She quickly changed the subject: “But I’m much more interested in your night. Tell me everything.” I made a mental note to try and come back to this later–it felt like there was something that she wasn’t saying. In the meantime, I told my tale as best as I could. There were bits and pieces I left out–namely, how my mind kept wandering to Ava, though I also managed to skirt around Paige’s wandering hand. Freshly diapered, Mommy put me into a onesie and escorted me to my crib. “Sounds like you had a wild night,” she said, kissing me on the forehead. “All tuckered out now?” “Yes, Mommy.” A few months worth of early bedtimes had greatly diminished my stamina once it got dark out. On most days, I didn’t see it as a bad thing–prior to my total infantilization, I told myself plenty of times that I needed to get more sleep. Now, it was just another adjustment I’d need to account for as I took baby steps into adulthood again. Soon, Mommy was gone, leaving me alone in the crib so that I could drift off to sleep. I thought of Mommy. I thought of Paige. But then, I was just thinking about Ava again.

You're the best!

I'd love to find the original thread for this in whatever 4chan derivative it ended up happening in. I have some questions for our author here about his "testing." So...yes, this could theoretically work, with a huge, massive pile of caveats. I do not recommend anybody actually do this method. But let's talk about what I think is going on here. You have two muscles to "defeat" for incontience - the autonomic bladder neck/internal sphincter, and the consciously controlled external sphincter. Finding a medication to target the bladder neck is trivial - honestly, I recommend most people just stick with Tamsulosin/Flomax if they're looking for something. Easy to get generically, minimal list of side effects, and decades of use for this purpose, so it's widely understood by the medical community. However, Tamsulosin and similar meds won't make you incontient. It just makes it a little easier to pee. From my research, there was no medication that could reliably disable the external sphincter. This makes sense when you think about it - what medication could you take that would relax/disable *only* that muscle and not others like your arms or legs that have similar biological makeup? The one suggested here is interesting, but I'm skeptical how much it's actually doing here - I suspect the required doses to be effective would have significant side effects. This leads to my conclusion - I suspect these drugs are mostly placebo in helping people who were already diaper training to finally relax and let go. Placebo doesn't mean worthless - I've found there is a necessary part of training where someone feels like they can surrender their need to control themselves. But if there was a possibility to run a larger study under medical supervision...I'd definitely be interested in seeing the results.

Daniel is being kept under tighter surveillance than an inmate in prison. After a few days he feels like he's about to crack when Emmy tells him it's time sfor a special trip outside... --- Writing is my passion and my only source of income. If you enjoy my stories you may be interested to learn that you can see every update I post one week before the rest of the world with a $5 pledge on one of my subscription sites. There has been a lot of upheaval recently with Patreon purging a lot of ABDL content so I have tried to diversify a little so that I can continue to bring everyone stories. For just a $5 pledge on any of these you can see updates a week early and for $10 you can see all of my 50+ EXCLUSIVE stories only available to subscribers. The money I get goes to paying bills and putting food on the table so I appreciate all of my subscribers and would appreciate anyone who might be interested in supporting me to check out my subscription sites ❤️ https://subscribestar.adult/elfy https://reamstories.com/elfy --- The next few days were a nightmare for Daniel. If he thought Emmy was overbearing before his escape it was nothing like when he was brought back. Emmy didn’t let him out of her sight for a minute. He was constantly carried from room to room with his cousin and spent a lot of his time trapped in his walker. He constantly had a pacifier in his mouth and the only time it was removed was when he was given a bottle of milk or Emmy’s breast to feel from. Perhaps even worse than this supervision was the toy that was almost constantly attached to Daniel’s penis and balls. More often than not Emmy had it turned on to that infuriating intermittent buzzing that left Daniel drooling with pleasure but never allowing him to orgasm. After a few days of this buzzing Daniel was almost like a zombie. He was so desperately horny that his mind felt cloudy. He found himself thinking less and less about trying to escape or returning to his old life and more about just being allowed to cum. A part of his brain knew that this was Emmy’s intention. Daniel’s days were now filled with mindless children’s television, mindless baby toys and mindlessly filling his diapers. Every day seemed to blur together and soon Daniel forgot how long he had been with Emmy. It was a big surprise then when Emmy walked into the living room dressed as if she was going out. The chest harness she used for Daniel was on her chest which concerned him. “It’s a big day, baby.” Emmy said as she walked into the room with a smile, “We’re going to see some old friends of yours.” “W-We are?” Daniel replied with a frown. “We are.” Emmy replied, “But before we go we have three things we need to do.” Daniel lifted his arms up allowing Emmy to lift him out of the walker and hold him on her hip. He saw her put her hand in her pocket and pull out a couple of pills. She held them up and waited for Daniel to open his mouth. He wanted to resist but he knew that one way or another he was going to be eating those pills no matter what they were. He reluctantly opened his mouth and let the pill drop on his tongue. Daniel was handed a bottle and he used the juice to wash the pills down. “Good boy. Next we need to give you your special pacifier.” Emmy said. Daniel watched his tall cousin reach into her pocket again and this time she pulled out a pacifier. Daniel could see there was some liquid on the amber bulb and he thought he knew what was about to happen. The soother was pushed between his lips and he immediately felt the horrible numbing feeling washing over his lips. As the bulb was flicked by his tongue more of the liquid came out of it and started covering his tongue as well. It wasn’t long before his mouth was coated with the numbing gel. The pacifier was taking out of Daniel’s mouth. “Try and speak.” Emmy said, “Say “I love my big sister!”” “I wuw I ith iter.” Daniel tried but when he couldn’t feel his mouth it was nearly impossible. He blushed as Emmy giggled and pushed the pacifier back into his mouth. Daniel was wearing just a baby blue t-shirt and nothing over his diaper. He was lifted up and he saw Emmy checking his diaper before lowering him into the harness. He was a little damp but it wasn’t like he could tell Emmy that, not that she would’ve expected him to. Daniel was once again a passenger in his own life. The harness forced him back against Emmy’s chest and his head nestled between her voluptuous breasts. He didn’t feel particularly embarrassed by it anymore, after feeding from Emmy as much as he had the idea of his head being against her didn’t bring much shame anymore. Whilst Emmy walked out to the hallway and put her shoes on Daniel could only wonder how it had become normal for him to breastfeed. Daniel was carried outside the house and had to shield his eyes from the sun. The huge emptiness that spread out in every direction from Emmy’s house made it clear how hopeless Daniel’s position was. He had run away to the only house in miles only to find she was apparently friends with Emmy. He sunk lower in the harness as Emmy started heading up the road. It was a very warm day. Daniel wished he had his bottle as the pair of them made their way towards the shops from days ago. Instead of stopping at any of the stores though Emmy carried on past them. With a sudden jump Daniel realised Emmy was taking him towards the station he had originally arrived at on the way to Emmy’s house. Sure enough, after quite a while the station started looming up in the distance. “Nearly there.” Emmy said. She was a little out of breath, “Are you thirsty?” Daniel nodded his head. “Alright, we’ll sort you out when we’re sat down.” Emmy said as she reached up and rubbed Daniel’s hair. Daniel couldn’t believe he was being taken to the station. He didn’t dare to have hope but the fact they were moving a long way from Emmy’s house made him think he had a chance of some sort of escape. There were quite a few people walking around. The station was in a very rural area so it wasn’t extremely busy but there were still a dozen or so people buying tickets and waiting at the platform. Daniel tried to get people’s attention but no one seemed to do much more than stare for a few seconds. He couldn’t understand why no one found this strange. Yet again he slumped in his restraints, if anyone did find this strange they clearly assumed he wanted to be there or something because no one was intervening. Daniel was blushing wildly as Emmy bought the train tickets. He could see people looking at him and all he could do was flail his limbs and mumble around the pacifier. It seemed Emmy had great timing because as soon as they stepped on to the platform a train appeared in the distance and slowly pulled up at the station. The line was between two major cities but this stop was in the middle of nowhere so when the doors opened not many people got off but the carriages were reasonably full nonetheless. Emmy carried Daniel over to some free seats and finally lifted him out of the harness. “Right, let’s get you sorted out.” Emmy said. Daniel looked around. The seating was very open and he could see a lot of people looking his way. He was feeling very embarrassed. “Ewe eathe!” Daniel tried to talk but the numbness and pacifier combined to make it impossible. A thin line of drool rolled down his chin. “I know, baby.” Emmy said with a chuckle, “Just give me a moment.” “Ooth a aby!” Daniel cried out. Daniel looked around and saw only smiling sympathetic faces looking his way. Except they weren’t looking at him, they were looking at his giant cousin. It seemed they thought he was just a babbling baby. Was Emmy’s size creating an illusion where people thought he was a child? He didn’t know but it made him want to cry. Escape was available right there but he couldn’t do anything to grasp it. If only he could speak. “Let’s get your little toy going.” Emmy said quietly so only Daniel could hear. Daniel wondered what she meant for a second before the vibrator attached to his junk buzzed to life. He immediately gasped and the pacifier in his mouth fell on to the seat next to Emmy. His mouth remained open as he was instantly consumed by the feelings in his diaper. “I know you’re hungry, sweetie.” Emmy said. Daniel was looking up at the ceiling and laying horizontally across Emmy’s lap when he felt one of Emmy’s large hands turning his head to face her. Suddenly his whole vision was filled with Emmy’s large fleshy orb. His eyes went as wide as his mouth as he was brought forwards. Almost by instinct he latched on to his cousin’s breast though he couldn’t believe she was doing this in public! The thick milk started flowing and filling Daniel’s mouth. He felt almost sick with embarrassment as he sucked automatically and swallowed the sweet milk. He couldn’t see anything but the large breast that was pressed against his face but he could feel the eyes of the other passengers watching him. Daniel’s tummy rapidly filled with his cousin’s breast milk as it hadn’t been that long since he was fed breakfast. He was breathing heavily through his nose as the areas between Emmy’s breast and Daniel’s face became sticky with sweat. The breasts were so full of milk that even the smallest pressure was squirting the fluid into his mouth. He had to admit that after drinking it regularly for so long now he had grown to quite like the taste. The thick, creamy liquid was very filling but he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to stop until Emmy’s breasts were empty. Daniel’s attention turned to the buzzing in his diaper. He couldn’t help but let out little pants and moans as his hops writhed gently. He knew people were looking at him, the large baby feeding from his caregiver without a thought in the world. He was almost glad that Emmy’s large chest was hiding his blushing face. Between the thick warm milk, the buzzing and the gentle rocking of the train Daniel found himself getting quite sleepy. This was such a bizarre situation that his brain was struggling to comprehend everything that was happening. There was a rumbling in his tummy as it expanded and filled with the milk. As Daniel’s face was eventually pried off Emmy’s nipple his head rolled back and his eyes were only half-open. The sex toy that was constantly stimulating his genitals seemed designed to keep him occupied without allowing him to cum. He let his head turn to the side to see that people kept looking his way. In his constant state or arousal though he found it difficult to reach out for help. “That’s a good baby.” Emmy said softly as she gently ran a hand down Daniel’s front. The constant sexual teasing had clouded Daniel’s mind to the point that he could barely form coherent thoughts. He let out a milky burp that made Emmy giggle. All he could think about was his diaper area and the desperate need for release. The train journey seemed interminable for Daniel as he laid across Emmy’s lap lost to the vibrations in his diaper. He wanted to beg to be allowed to finish but his numb mouth meant all he could do was gurgle like a helpless baby. Despite how excited he was his bladder eventually overwhelmed his body and he wet himself. The piss streamed out of him as he was gently cradled by Emmy. As soon as he finished flooding his baby pants the vibrations came back to the forefront of his mind. “Nearly there.” Emmy said idly as she looked out the window, “Won’t it be nice to see all your little friends one last time.” If Daniel hadn’t been practically hypnotised by the sex toy he would’ve heard the words “one last time” and freaked out. As it was they got lost in the fogginess of his mind just like everything else that wasn’t in his hot diaper. As the train pulled in to the station Daniel had started to try and reach down to his diaper to desperately rub it in the hope of getting off. Unfortunately for him though Emmy was on top of such movements and was quick to pull his hands away. He whined and moaned desperately around the pacifier. Daniel was paying almost no attention to anything outside of his diaper so when Emmy stood up and placed him easily back in her chest harness he didn’t really know where they were. It was only as Emmy stepped out into the sunlight on the platform that Daniel realised he was back in his home town. The knowledge that he was so close to home managed to break through at least some of the fog that clouded his mind. He reached out a shaky hand as drool rolled down his chin and dripped down on to his clothes. “That’s right, baby!” Emmy said excitedly as if Daniel was an actual baby who had recognised something, “Do you recognise this place?” “Ooo ah ow.” Daniel tried to speak but the buzzing, the numbing gel and the vibrations made it impossible to sound coherent. “Good boy.” Emmy said with empty praise as she patted Daniel on the head. Daniel’s head was pushed back between Emmy’s breasts again as he was walked through the ticket barrier and out on to the street. He saw more sights he recognised as Emmy confidently walked along the pavement. All Daniel could see was the myriad heads turning to watch them both pass. He saw people staring, frowning and whispering to their friends. He felt utterly humiliated and tried to press back into Emmy’s chest, if it had been possible he would’ve pushed all the way back until his head was engulfed by the breasts on either side. Daniel whimpered as he tried to hide from the stares. He wished he could’ve called out for help but it was impossible, there were too many things preventing him from forming words. Next to the silence in and around Emmy’s house the sounds of the city now seemed so much louder and more hostile. “It isn’t far.” Emmy said as she walked down the street with her long stride. Daniel wasn’t sure where they were heading but his house wasn’t too far away. His attention was only briefly taken away from his diaper before he was brought back to his diaper. The vibrating sex toy surrounding his dick was now pressing against Emmy’s harness and making the feelings even more intense. It still wasn’t enough to make him orgasm even as he pressed the front of his diaper into the fabric harness. Daniel felt like he could feel his aching tool dribbling liquid as it begged to be allowed full release. He stopped paying attention to the stares, he stopped looking at where he was going, his eyes glazed over as he moaned desperately. “Here we are.” Emmy said several minutes later. Daniel was brought out of his reverie by Emmy’s words. He shook his head and looked up to see a sight that shocked him completely. They were still on the street but the building in front of them was very familiar to Daniel. He had been going to this building five days a week for years. It was his work place. --- You can find out what happens next RIGHT NOW on my subscription pages: https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1236022 https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyuiwxy1/chapter/bfa71c07-e3af-4c9e-9d67-de1daea0bad9

@Permanently Pampered I don't mind dry or wet, but the one thing that is a turn off is to see a SEVERELY MESSY diaper where looking at it would make me probably lose my lunch to see that. I don't object to a messy one when you can see that it has been used and you can see it. To have a diaper that is so severely dirty that it makes me lose my lunch, well, that would be a problem, as you are NOT supposed to post scat pics - If @DailyDi sees one of these, he'd probably delete it. I've seen a couple, and luckily I wasn't eating at the time....... Brian

In the next scene, Bernice will be asking pretty much the same questions you raise here, although the setup comes in the next two scenes in AARDVARK, which come first. So, a pivotal character also finds this all rather odd, which makes Ian's unusual behavior an integral part of the plot. Again we ask: what is he up to? Just as Vickie is defined early on, and then hints are scattered to lead you to anticipate what you are now learning about her, so there are hints scattered throughout the text to foretell what Ian is doing. In short, you are being set up, in the manner of Alec Leamas in Le Carre's early and brilliant The Spy Who Came in From the Cold, and the clues will continue to dribble out as we move forward. Hope you have fun unraveling the mystery!

Just go to a medical supply store and buy what. you want. You don't ned to tell your urologist anything.

A lot of us understand what you are saying here, @Mary Moon. We have similar feelings and experiences. I grew up wearing diapers to bed well past the "normal" age, and I wrestled with feelings of embarrassment and humiliation, intermingled with the knowledge that part of me actually liked wearing diapers, but even then, when I was less than 10, I knew that I couldn't tell anybody that, so I also felt shame. Part of me wanted to grow up and make my parents proud and put diapers in the past with other childish things, but when I was in them, I felt such comfort and joy, although it was always tinted with anxiety and embarrassment. So here I am now, 30+ years later, still working through those feelings, as you are. There are a lot of great people here who will understand where you are coming from.

This is going to become a reality for me at some point, too. Although I have friends in nursing, and from what I hear from them, someone coming in who wears a diaper to bed is about the least interesting thing they see. They don't care - they have half of their patients in diapers anyway, or they wish they were, because of the potential for falls if they have to get up and rush to the bathroom, or they have to buzz them for help, when they're run off their feet dealing with other things. Someone who voluntarily wears a diaper is welcome in their world - it means no stripping a bed, no rushing to assist with toileting, no emergency calls because someone got dizzy on the way to the bathroom. But, that said, I'm still going to swallow hard before I say to a medical professional, "Er, so... here's the thing. I'll be wearing a diaper..." I have not had to do that so far, although I did once have to drop my pants while wearing a pull-up, at the request of a doctor, who said exactly nothing about my underpants. And I once was given a transparent gown for an MRI and found myself in the middle of a brightly-lit waiting room with a nurse rushing over to give me a second gown, because my diaper was glowing under the harsh fluorescents.

When I had knee surgery I just asked the nurse during the pre-op consult what I should do. They suggested doing whatever I'm comfortable with, and suggested bringing "what I needed" from home if it would make me more comfortable. They've dealt with this many times before. Just ask.

Yes, that's how it is, i really like having moments in which i am cuddled and cared for, but i also like to remain myself, it's a partial regression more of sensations than mental. However, all things considered, this desire to be cared for is not an erotic thing for me. Let's say that at 20, having a diaper changed is not considered socially acceptable unless a partner does it in private. In the future, i would like to have such an intimate relationship with a person who can understand this secret side of mine. I'll tell you about an episode that always happened to me around that age in middle school: it happened that, due to a snowfall, while I was returning from school, the bus skidded on a slope on the mountain road and landed against a tree, so we were stuck there, waiting for the snowplow to arrive so we could continue. Due to my incontinence problem my situation was very difficult, because i was forced to hold my pee for longer than i usually manage (if i exceed two hours i am at serious risk of accident). Basically only thanks to the strength of my will i managed to hold it for about 3 hours, my bladder was on fire and i had tears in my eyes, but i absolutely wanted to avoid the humiliating accident in a bus full of kids my age. With great effort i managed to get to my stop and got off with my best friend to whom I had confessed my situation, so much so that she had offered to go to her house to pee which was closer than mine, only after a few steps, the pain in my bladder was too strong and i gave in and soaked my pants in front of her. I burst into tears, humiliated and mortified because my best friend had witnessed my accident. But instead of laughing, she hugged me and took me to her house where she helped me get cleaned up and lent me some of her underwear and trousers to change into. I remember us sitting there on her bed where i confessed to her about my incontinence problems and she cuddled me and comforted me by saying that she wouldn't tell anyone. And i admit that in that moment i felt good with me leaning on her shoulder and her caressing my head and reassuring me.

Hi, I understand this completely. I am primarily a DL but I do 'play' little sometimes. However, I have no desire to lose my intelligence so I play as a bigger kid / young teenager who has not been potty trained. This way I can hold a conversation, go out and about, but still need diapers and to be changed. I do like a bottle and dummy though. I like the cared for feeling too.

The one thing Madelyn desires most in the world is to wear diapers again, and she is prepared to do anything to make that wish come true. As inexplicable as that desire is for a twelve-year-old girl, it is one she has obsessed over for the past three years. Ever since Madelyn tried on a pull-up that a distant cousin had used for bedwetting, the thought of what it would be like to forego her underwear for that padded, crinkling sensation between her legs has been a desire she has been unable to shake. Every other plan to get her hands on diapers or pull-ups has failed up to now. But this time it is going to be different. This time it is going to work. This time she isn’t going to back out at the last minute. The plan is simple. All Madelyn has to do is intentionally begin to wet the bed at night. Then, her parents will have no choice but to get her the diapers she so badly desires. What could possibly go wrong? Chapter 1: Daydreams in Class I will not chicken out this time. That was what I had told myself two days ago. That was also what I had told myself yesterday. Third time was the charm, right? It was easy to put a bold face to my latest harebrained scheme to acquire diapers from the safety of my daydreams. It was much harder when the time came to actually carry out the plan that had been brewing in the back of my mind for the past year – one I had finally decided to put into motion this week. Why would a 12-year-old girl want to wear diapers in the first place? I don’t know. All I know is that for the past three years, nothing I have done has been successful at getting this obsession out of my head. I certainly didn’t have any interest in being a baby. My younger brother, Jackson, is only six years old. I discovered where Mom kept all his old baby stuff long ago. I’ve tried his old pacifiers, bottles, and sippy cups. None of those items held any appeal for me. I can’t stand kids’ TV shows. I can’t color to save my life. And don’t get me started on dollhouses, barbies, and whatever other toys babies like to play with. In every aspect of my life other than this strange desire for diapers, I wanted to act my age. My latest plan all started a year ago with a magazine and a desire to procrastinate on my homework. There had to be some level of irony to the fact that this latest idea came about when I was seated on the porcelain throne. Mom had almost a dozen different magazines she subscribed to. Most of them found their way to the bathroom, which was also probably the only circumstance where I would have even considered reading them in the first place. I was already finished doing my business, but leaving the bathroom meant needing to continue a homework assignment I’d been slowly picking away at for the past hour. The only reason I even bothered to pick up a copy of the Reader’s Digest on that day about a year ago was for the few sections where it had funny jokes and stories. That, and I had left my smartphone in the bedroom. I really didn’t know how my parents managed when they were my age. I skimmed through the first section of jokes. Whoever had put together this edition of the magazine had totally mailed it in. There was a completely unoriginal one about redheads and souls that had me tempted to toss the magazine in the garbage. I mean, with how many magazines Mom had, would she even miss it? Redhead jokes get old really quick when you’ve had people telling you them your whole life. It has been forever since I’d been told one I hadn’t heard before. And even longer since I’ve been told one that was actually funny. Maybe I would have better luck with the second humor section toward the back of the magazine. I flipped through the pages casually when one of the advertisements caught my eye. I could scarcely believe what I was seeing. There it was. Right on the page. An exact replicate of the pull-up I had briefly stolen from a cousin two years ago. But there was more. That pull-up from two years ago had been the boys’ designs. This ad showed that there were ones for girls as well. And even though I’d had a pretty good growth spurt in the past two years, the product info indicated that I wasn’t even close to being too big to wear them. I didn’t tuck the magazine in the trash, but I did take it with me from the bathroom, burying it deep inside my box of miscellaneous things in my bedroom. I’ve looked at that page at least once a day for the past year. “Earth to Maddy. Earth to Maddy. We’re calling in.” My head jerked upright from the hard wooden desk in my math classroom to the sound of laughter. “Here!” I called back to our math teacher. “Well, thank you for joining us again, Maddy. Now,” he said, pointing to a cluster of numbers, letters, and symbols on the whiteboard, “that we’ve isolated ‘x’ on this side of the equation. Can you tell us what it is?” I had enough trouble paying attention in classes that I liked. For ones I hated? The temptation to daydream was hard to resist. And I hated math class. It was hard enough when we were dealing with regular numbers. I would be lucky to scrape by with a “B-” on my report card. But now, with the end of the school year in sight, my math teacher had ever-so-helpfully decided to give us a sneak peek of some of the things we got to look forward to learning next year in eighth grade. I sucked at long division. But it at least made sense conceptually. The numbers were real, even if doing the work to get the answer was tedious. But now there was this thing the teacher called Algebra, where we were supposed to be adding up letters as well as numbers, which was beyond my ability to comprehend. Every “x” and “y” on the whiteboard seemed designed to taunt me. May as well put a “D” or a “C” on the board, as that was about what I could expect on my report card next year if this was what was in store for me. I stared blankly at the whiteboard with the sinking feeling that even if I had been paying attention for the past five minutes, I wouldn’t be any closer to understanding what was going on. “Um,” I said, picking at my nails while I continued to stare ahead. I had to at least give some kind of guess. But my brain and my mouth sometimes aren’t exactly in sync with one another. “The spot.” “I’m sorry. What was that?” Mr. Thompson asked. “You know, the spot. Like, ‘x’ marks the spot.” The classroom was full of laughter again. This time with me rather than at me. I made eye contact with one of my friends, Angie, who turned to look back at me from the front row. We shared a smirk at the joke. Mr. Thompson sighed. “Everyone settled down, please.” He gave me a look that suggested he might be once again telling my parents about how I had apparently been disruptive in class. “Now, Maddy, if you had been paying attention as we worked through this problem, you would know that the answer was actually…” I didn’t even manage to pay attention long enough to get to the answer to what ‘x’ happened to be or what sorcery had been used to arrive at that conclusion. I fixed my eyes on a spot on the whiteboard, a method I had mastered to trick teachers into thinking I was actually paying attention to their nonsense when I’d rather be daydreaming. My thoughts slipped back toward my plans for this evening. The third time had to be the charm, right? It wasn’t really my fault the first two attempts at wetting the bed had failed. The first night, I had simply been too tired. We’d had an exhausting soccer game that evening that had gone on to overtime, and we’d been shorthanded, so I hadn’t spent almost any time on the bench. I had fully intended to stay up past midnight but had used the excuse of being tired to back out of it. Instead, I let myself drift off to sleep without wetting the bed. During the second night, I’d managed to stay up until 1 a.m., but I had found it impossible to make myself pee. I simply hadn’t had enough to drink. I had considered simply pouring water on my bed, but I was worried that might not be convincing enough should my parents make a closer examination of my bedding. I could have snuck off for a glass of water in the kitchen and stayed up another hour, but again, I chickened out and pushed the plan off to another night. But tonight was going to be different. I was going to be drinking as much water as I could tonight, and I would skip going to the toilet before going to bed. Plus, tonight was Friday, which meant it was pizza night, so as long as I picked out a caffeinated soda, I should be able to keep myself up late enough for this plan to work. I realized that I was likely going to have to keep this up for multiple nights. One random night of bedwetting — after having never wet the bed since I had been potty trained at the age of two — wouldn’t be enough to convince my parents to take action. But if I could have the courage to keep it up long enough, they would have no choice but to purchase the pull-ups shown on the magazine page for me. I would make sure to leave that old magazine out in a way that would get Mom to see the advertisement. It was a desperate move, but I couldn’t wait any longer for the pull-ups. I knew from other advertisements I’d seen that these pull-ups were sold in stores. Had there been a store close by that I could bike to, I might have considered going out and purchasing some for myself on a day when I had been left at home on my own. But that wasn’t an option for me. I still had over three years to go before I would be old enough to get my own driver’s license. I had already waited three years for this. I couldn’t possibly wait three more. “Maddy. Earth to Maddy. Hey!” There was the sound of hands clapping together a single time. More laughter. I blinked rapidly, adjusting my gaze over to Mr. Thompson, where he was standing at the front of the classroom with his palms still pressed together from making the noise he had used to so rudely interrupt my daydreams. “Maddy, please just take one of the homework sheets and pass the rest behind you.” I looked straight ahead, where Chloe was holding a stack of papers with her arm stretched out toward me. She rolled her eyes at me as I grabbed them from her. In a rare moment of self-control, I did not stick my tongue out at her. I took one of the homework sheets and passed the remaining one behind me to where one of my two best friends was sitting. The three of us had initially been seated next to each other. But Mr. Thompson decided a few weeks into the school year that doing so was too much of a distraction. Emma, who had been seated to my right, was switched to the seat behind me. Angie, who had been on my left, had worse luck. Not only was she moved to the front of the class, but she had to sit next to Ryan, who had the disgusting habit of picking his nose in public. But that was OK. We’d have the whole weekend together. Tonight was the beginning of the playoffs for our U13 soccer team. We’d had a moderately successful season, meaning we’d managed to somehow win more games than we lost over the past several months. It was disappointing that the spring soccer season was so close to coming to an end, but we had the opportunity to keep it going this weekend if we could manage to string a few victories together. The bell rang as the final class of the week came to an end. Mr. Thompson belted out more instructions about the homework as I slid the piece of paper, with all its archaic symbols and equations, into my backpack. I’d just ask Angie and Emma later to see if there was something I’d missed in his instructions. I joined my two friends in the hallway. We all lived in the same neighborhood, so we rushed off to catch the bus together. They chatted excitedly about the game tonight, but I walked alongside them in silence. My thoughts were somewhere entirely else. My mind settled on the image of the pull-up I had held in my hand three years ago. The few minutes where I had examined it thoroughly, my fingers tracing over its whole surface. How it had felt to wear it for a couple of minutes before I was forced to set it aside, not knowing the opportunity was one I wouldn’t get again for years. Should everything go as planned, I would be wearing a pull-up again in less than a week. But to accomplish that, I needed to wet the bed tonight – on purpose. <><><> Three years ago If there was a single moment that perhaps best defined the last three years of my life, it was that day three years ago when it all began. The day I first laid eyes on a simple object that would become an obsession I would never be able to shake off. I didn’t cry at the funeral. I knew, intellectually, that this was what people were supposed to do. But even the sight of my aged great-grandfather lying in the open casket hadn’t moved me to tears. It wasn’t as though I wasn’t sad, but it was a more abstract kind of sadness. That kind that has someone thinking heavy thoughts about what happens after death, not that kind that leaves someone bawling on their knees. I had no memories of the man lying in the casket. My parents said I had met my great-grandfather three times. But I had been too young to have any memories of those visits. My older sister, Grace, on the other hand, was devastated. It was her first funeral as well. She had memories of her great-grandfather. The man in the casket was not an abstract concept to her, but the ghost of someone who had played with her and held her in his arms. Jackson cried as well, but that was just because he was a baby. You could never exactly tell what it was that they were upset about most of the time. The three-year-old boy likely just needed a nap. But the funeral home wasn’t where that pivotal event in my life transpired; it was merely marked the event that gave cause for all my distant relations – grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – to join together from where they were all scattered across the country. The reception after the funeral was where the fateful moment occurred. The adults ate, drank, and smoked while kids split into playing games with others of their age. There was a cohort of preschoolers huddled around a TV, watching stupid kids’ shows. On the other end of the spectrum was a collection of angsty teenagers Grace had abandoned me to hang out with. They weren’t particularly welcoming of youngsters, and my normally friendly sister had shooed me off after I attempted to tag along with her. Not that I cared that much. Other than my sister, teenagers made me a bit apprehensive. Besides, there were a half-dozen other kids my age to hang out with. My mom introduced me to two boys shortly after we arrived at the house for the reception. One of them, Alex, was eight. Though he made clear he would be nine in a few weeks, which would make him as old as me. His younger brother, Timothy, was seven. The boys were distant cousins from half-way across the country. There was some technical term Mom used for exactly what type of cousin they were to me — second cousins, twice removed. That didn’t mean anything to me. All that mattered was that they were my age and more than open to finding some way to play in order to pass the time while the adults did whatever adults did. We hit it off immediately. We did what kids that age normally do. We fell into the habit of playing simple games with each other as if we had been friends all of our lives. The two brothers were staying at the house where the reception was being hosted, so it was only fair that they gave me a tour of the massive building. We explored the expansive backyard, winding our way through the adults in the garden until we were shooed away. We played in the basement for a while, which had foosball and ping-pong tables before the teens decided that was where they wanted to be hanging out instead. But there was still plenty of house to explore. Alex and Timothy led me up a winding staircase to some rooms upstairs, where they had been sleeping while their family stayed with the relatives who were hosting the reception. That’s when I stumbled across a stunning revelation. One that would shape my life for the next three years. Haunt my dreams. Hound my thoughts. Practically drive me crazy as I was often left incapable of thinking of anything else. There was something out-of-place sitting in the corner of the room on top of a pile of discarded laundry. I tended to usually say the first thing that came to mind without regard to whether it was socially appropriate to do so. I wasn’t any better at that at the age of nine. I pointed at a blue undergarment in the corner that didn’t exactly look like a normal piece of underwear. It was not as though I didn’t have a good suspicion of what it was. But I wanted confirmation. “What is that?” Timothy walked casually over to the corner and picked it up. “Oh, that’s my pull-up.” I looked at the item in his hand. He was seven. That couldn’t possibly be his. I felt sure I was the subject of some kind of joke. “Don’t be silly,” I said. “You’re too old to wear pull-ups.” “Older kids sometimes need to wear pull-ups,” he said, still holding the item in his hand. His defiance left me no less confused. I rolled my eyes. “I doubt that even fits you.” I hadn’t intended in any way to dare them to put the pull-up on. But that must be how that statement had come across. Alex snatched the pull-up out of his brother’s hand and tugged it on over his dress pants. “See,” he said. “It fits. We wear them ’cause we still wet the bed.” They were bedwetters. And they weren’t the least bit ashamed of it. That was at least a topic that I understood. I had no intention of teasing or bullying them. While neither my brother nor I were bedwetters, my older sister had wet the bed up until a year or so ago. Why hadn’t I put together a connection between pull-ups and bedwetting? Come to think of it. I wasn’t even sure if Grace had worn pull-ups during her bedwetting phase. She had her own room, which I was very much forbidden from going into, so if she had, there wasn’t any way I would have known about it. When I had first learned of my older sister’s predicament, my parents had sat down with me and calmly explained what bedwetting was and how I was to never shame or tease her about it. And given how privately they had handled her condition, and the fact that it hadn’t ever impacted my life at all, I truthfully hadn’t ever given her bedwetting much of a thought. Alex mistook my pensiveness while considering my sister’s bedwetting to mean that I was still confused about the topic. He launched into a long explanation with words like enuresis, explaining how bedwetting was just a medical condition that he and his brother would grow out of. “Do you wet the bed?” Timothy asked me. “No,” I replied. I came close to continuing my reply and accidentally outing my sister, but I would never do something that mean to her. Alex still had the pull-up around his waist, completely unconcerned with how silly it looked. The pull-up had a picture of Spiderman, my favorite superhero, on the front. I pointed that out, which led to another conversation about which Marvel superheroes we liked best. Timothy was big on Iron Man. But Alex insisted that Batman was better than any of them. My eyes kept glancing down at Alex’s waist. I found myself unable to look away from the pull-up for long. The sight of the pull-up around Alex’s waist raised another thought. That pull-up would fit me just as well. My distant cousin and I were both about the same size, after all. I didn’t question the desire to wear the pull-up. Once the impulse had taken hold of me, there was little else I could think of as I distractedly continued the conversation with my cousins. Our parents called us down for dinner. Alex ripped the pull-up off and tossed it back in the corner of the room before we retreated down the stairs. I was unable to concentrate during dinner. Alex and Timothy were across the table from me, and it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut about what I had just witnessed. I was filled to the brim with questions, most of which I would have to keep inside unless I were presented with another chance to have a private discussion with those two bedwetting cousins. But there was one question more important than any of them. One perhaps best answered on my own rather than by asking them. What did it feel like to wear a pull-up? While the adults were content to sit and chat around at the table long after their plates were clean, that wasn’t the case for us kids, and soon we were back to running around; Timothy, Alex, and I were joined by another four cousins. Big houses and hide and seek go hand in hand together. We agreed that hiding upstairs in the house was against the rules for the game of hide and seek. That meant that the upstairs room where the pull-ups were waiting for me was technically off-limits. But I didn’t care one bit about the game. Anyway, making the upstairs rooms off-limits had been my idea. An absolutely brilliant stroke of genius for a then nine-year-old girl. In one move, I’d ensured that no one would be up there when I went looking for the pull-up and that I would be safe from anyone following after me. I took quick glances in both directions as I stood at the base of the stairway. Perfect. There were no other kids in sight. I leaped up the stairs, skipping two steps at a time with each upward lunge until I was safely around the corner and out of sight. I encountered my first problem when I made it to the bedroom where Timothy and Alex had been sleeping. I had somehow assumed that the pull-up Alex had ripped off could be fixed. I seemed to recall that the pull-ups my brother had worn a year ago had Velcro sides. But that wasn’t the case with these bedwetting pull-ups for some reason. But there had to be additional pull-ups elsewhere. There couldn’t be any way that the boy’s parents would risk them peeing all over the bed while they were spending the night as guests. I didn’t have any luck in the first suitcase that I looked through, nor the second, but the third one was where I struck gold. There were more than a dozen pull-ups tucked into the side of the suitcase. Surely, they wouldn’t notice if one of them happened to go missing. I grabbed a pull-up and bundled the pull-up into a ball, tucking it into the waistband of my skirt. I was sure that was not nearly as discreet as I thought it was at the time. But, to my good fortune, I was able to make it to a nearby bathroom without being caught. The adults were busy downstairs, and my cousins, who were playing hide and seek, were doing a better job than I was at abiding by the rules. I locked the bathroom door behind me. I double and triple-checked to make sure the door was actually locked. I removed the pull-up from under my skirt and held it in my hands. I didn’t stop then to think through how bizarre the whole situation was at the time. I think I must have stood there looking at it for several minutes. Feeling how it crinkled beneath my touch, testing out the sides to see how far they could stretch, rubbing my fingers down the padded interior. I was completely and utterly fascinated by it. The desire was no more explainable than a moth being drawn to a flame, a kitten to catnip, or a raven to a shiny object. I cautiously slid my arms through the leg holes, stretching the pull-up out in front of me. Not only was it more than stretchy enough for me, but it could probably fit a kid twice as wide as I was. Now came the moment of truth. I removed my skirt and underwear. The pull-up had a side that was helpfully labeled as the back, so I knew which way to put it on. As I brought the pull-up into place around my waist, it was like sliding the final piece of a puzzle into place. I turned around so that I could look at my reflection in the mirror. I lifted up the front of my skirt so that the whole pull-up was in view. It practically came up all the way to my belly button. There was something about the way it hugged my sides, the way the soft padding pressed against my skin as I sat down on the toilet lid and the way it crinkled quietly as I paced across the bathroom that left me completely enamored. There was just one thing left to do. And I didn’t have much time before everyone noticed that I was missing. I lifted up the lid of the toilet seat and sat down while still wearing the pull-up. One of my deepest regrets was that I had went to go potty right before the game of hide and seek began, meaning there wasn’t anything waiting to come out of my bladder at the moment. I tried. I really did. I wanted to know. I had to know. What would it feel like to pee into a pull-up? It couldn’t be bad. Alex and Timothy hadn’t seemed to be put off at all by waking up in a wet pull-up every morning. But nothing happened. The timing was off. My bladder wouldn’t cooperate. And time was up. I needed to be out of the bathroom in a couple of minutes. I considered it a radical idea. What if I put my underwear and skirt over the top of the pull-up? I could continue to wear it until I actually needed to pee. I nearly did it. I really, truly, honestly nearly did it. But then I chickened out. The same way I would, time and time again for years afterward. It was too risky. A small trickle of shame was diluting my euphoria. I knew that despite how ecstatic I was at my discovery, the reality of anyone else discovering this secret — and the relentless shame and teasing that would follow — would be devastating. I wasn’t like Alex or Timothy. I didn’t have the veneer of bedwetting to hide behind as an excuse for wearing a pull-up. I slid the pull-up off of my legs. I intended to put it back in the suitcase. Then it would be like nothing had ever happened. That’s when I encountered a second problem. Apparently, I had gone potty in the pull-up after all. Not a lot, just the teensiest of tinkles. But it was enough to leave a tiny yellow patch the size of a quarter smack dab in the middle of the pull-up. I breathed a sigh of relief that I had even noticed it in the first place. That would have made for an awkward situation for Alex and Timothy had I put the pull-up back in the suitcase. I peered into the trash can. I was in luck. I could make out two pull-ups at the bottom of the small trash can. One had been turned inside out, the color of its interior leaving no doubt as to the truthfulness of Alex’s description of his and his brother’s bedwetting. I bunched up the pull-up and tossed it in the trash can. I didn’t think it was likely that anyone would be paying too much attention to notice the addition of one more pull-up in it. My curiosity sated, I returned to the game of hide and seek, pretending that I had been expertly moving in between hiding places to avoid being spotted. I didn’t think anymore about the pull-up until later that evening when we were lying in bed at the hotel. Jackson was little enough that he could sleep on a padded mat and sleeping bag on the floor while Grace and I shared a bed – an experience that hadn’t gone well the past couple of nights, as it had been interrupted by midnight accusation of blanket theft. If it had just been Grace and me in the room, if Mom, Dad, and Jackson hadn’t been around to overhear it, I might have worked up the courage to ask my older sister about her bedwetting. I wasn’t even sure if she knew that I knew about it. But I had to know. Had she worn the same pull-ups as Alex and Timothy? Was there perhaps a style that came in colors and designs for girls? But we weren’t alone, and those questions went unasked. The drive home wasn’t any easier. I didn’t touch my tablet, which had been my constant companion on the trip here. Instead, I stared out the window. But I wasn’t paying any attention to the passing cities and landscapes. Instead, my mind was replaying the events of the previous day, in particular, the few precious minutes when I had my hands on the pull-up. I was filled with a deep sense of longing and regret. Why had I thrown the pull-up in the trash? Why hadn’t I put it back on beneath my skirt? I would have had it with me now. I could have been wearing it now. Of course, I did know better. I would have had no issue wearing the pull-up out of the house, but once we had gotten to the hotel, there wouldn’t have been any realistic way for me to have kept it concealed. But the acknowledgment of that reality did nothing to lessen my longing for the pull-up. I had nothing but time as I began to scheme up all the different ways I could get my hands on another one, or better yet, an actual diaper. What would I have done if I had known the wait was to be measured in years rather than days, weeks, or months? --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Lila on a family vacation This started as an English writing - training project for me. I have to give credit to the original Story “Lila’s family vacation” from Reatykeuniverse for the idea, the plot, and the beautiful name Lila that I used as a starting point. The first chapters are more like a close-bound rewrite with a lot of added sections in the middle, while the later parts just stick to the basic plot and do not have a lot in common with the original. This is the first part (apx. 6000 words) of the story that is already finished and has apx. 46000 words. While correcting takes a lot of effort for me due to my problem with reading and seeing spelling errors, it will take about two weeks to finish a chapter. So please be patient, I will try my best not to keep you waiting. Even though this is not my first story, I do a lot of writing in German, but it is my first story in English. I put a lot of effort into correcting all the grammar and spelling errors and hope there are not too many left to spoil your reading experience. I welcome any constructive feedback on my writing style, grammar and spelling, but please add as much information as possible, so I can improve. And I would also love to hear if you liked the story. If you want to know more, I just opened an intro thread in the nursery Annie's Intro ### Chapter 1 - Traveling - Discover what seemed to be lost. "Mum really, why do I have to wear diapers again?", complained Lila. "Hey honey, we are never going to force it if you don't want to," replied her mum Maria, "but you always wore them for the last years on our vacations, and it always made our trips a lot less stressful, for all of us?” She struggled with her decision while her mum placed the bag on her bed. This bag was clearly designed to appeal to a nurse in a retirement home and did not charm the little girl into the decision to wear them on the trip. As Lila stared at the colorful sheets of her bed, she felt the conflict in her. She was not eager to wear anything other than her panties. And all of her classmates in school would surely throw such a big tantrum that her parents would not dare to mention these diapers ever again. On the other hand, her mum was right, she wet the bed at least sometimes, and for some seconds she remembered how this unusual habit started for the now teenage girl. Whenever her parents could get some days off work, the family went on a trip together, and her mum used to put her girl in pull-ups just before they were leaving. All this started when Lila had a wetting accident when the family was on a city trip to Berlin when she was seven. It was the first year when she finally managed to stay dry during the day and at the packed museum, the line to the toilet was way too long for the young girl to hold it. Lila was in tears and did not want to leave the bathroom anymore, and her mum needed all her mummy magic to cheer the little girl up and get her ready for the rest of her day. To protect her from embarrassing accidents and to make it easier for her child, Lila, and her parents decided to keep her in the pull-ups she still wore for bed-wetting just in case during the day for the rest of the city trip. This worked so well that from there onwards, it became a secret family tradition for the little girl to be in pull-ups whenever they went on a vacation. In all those years, Lila didn't mind wearing pull-ups on occasions like this. She still wore them to bed at night, and wearing them on vacations during the day gave her back some kind of security. She even peed in them when she did not want to rush to the next restroom or was on the road. But now she is thirteen! Nearly a grownup woman in her eyes. And to her dismay, her mum got her tape diapers designed for a senile granny, instead of the slightly embarrassing but at least funny-looking pull-ups. Furthermore, she could slide down these bed-wetter's pants easily on her own when she headed to the bathroom. Lila had indeed outgrown her pull-ups, they did not fit her properly and on the rare occasions she wet the bed they hardly prevented the wet stains on the sheets. So the last time she'd worn them on a trip, her mom had decided to switch to diapers when she was not sleeping on her well-protected bed at home. While she still stared at the bag, Lila was obviously hesitant to wear ugly full-tape diapers, especially at her age. But after recalling her last wet night which was not even one week ago and that she probably would sleep on the plane, she ultimately decided to go with the diapers, just to be safe. "Fine..." she gave in, still trying to look serious, "But this is the last time I swear, and it will be just for the flights and when I sleep!" "You are such a responsible girl.", Maria praised her daughter, leaving her confused about what could be responsible in using diapers. "Please lie down, honey. So we get your diaper on you." Still, in her thoughts, Lila was obeying Mom's instructions sheepishly, took off her skirt and underwear, and laid herself on the soft bed while she noticed the crinkling of her mattress protector as she squirmed and twisted. "Can you put your bottoms up, please." her Mom patiently asked, not wanting to embarrass her girl more than necessary by just lifting her legs with her arms. And she unfolded a plain white fabric and laid it under her daughter's bum. Lila was weirdly feeling comfortable as she put some cream and powder on her before she taped the diaper in place and adjusted the leak guards. "We're all done, and you are ready for your vacation!" Her mum smiled at her. "Do you want to check that you have everything, we have to leave in fifteen minutes." ### Lila was in her thoughts for most of their trip to the airport. And when they arrived, Mum even needed to hold her hand because she was still daydreaming. However she looked at it, the diaper that she wore did not feel uncomfortable. She even liked the soft material that hugged her and that was wiping away all her worries. With the ease of her mind, she dreamed about all her past vacations where she was young and free. In retrospect, she had a really great childhood. Her parents were always there for Lila, and one of the reasons why she did not mind wearing her Pull-Ups in the past was that her parents did not make a big thing out of it when she had a small uppsie accident in them. After the family got their baggage checked in, they still had time to spare before heading for the gate, so they sat on one of the benches to wait and relax. Lila was exhausted from walking through the endless corridors and for a brief moment wanted to sit on her mom's lap as she did countless times in the past, but instead, she sat next to her, suddenly feeling her need to pee. "Mom," she secretly whispered, mindful that they were in a crowded airport, "I need to pee really urgently." “Oh, right now, can't you hold in any longer?” she replied searching for a bathroom while only seeing a corridor packed with endless shops offering their expensive and often useless duty-free stuff. As a young preteen child, Lila didn't mind using her pull-ups, especially when there was no clean bathroom nearby. She leaned on Mum's side, trying to get comfortable with all the people around. “This was much easier on our last trip”, she commented with a sigh. At the same time, she was getting ready to accept her daughter's wish to head to the bathroom whenever possible. “No mummy, I don't want to, my feet are hurting!”, Lila confessed. Wishing she had not protested against her parent's request for her to be diapered and unaware that her mum now could easily read the trouble of her little girl's mind like an open book "You know, I don't mind if you use your diaper, honey. I am sure it will hold up fine.", her mom carefully suggested, while at the same time easing her girl with her hand. For some seconds, Lila thought about that option out of her dilemma. Her parents put her in actual diapers, and that is what they are for, aren't they? Vaguely, she remembered the moon and the stars that promised a dry night on the package. It would soak up everything, she assured herself, while on the other hand remembering the good old days when she just peed in the pull-ups whenever she had to go. Once, she nearly let her mum talk her into going poopy, because they were in a subway with no bathrooms available. On that occasion, she finally made it to a stinky metro bathroom, and she also remembered that she wished she had any other option as it was so gross and dirty. However, this was completely different in her eyes. She just wet the bed in her sleep and the toilet was surely just a short distance away and perhaps most importantly, even when she was small for her age she was a teeny now. Her mum noticed the still ongoing fight in her girl's mind. “Don't worry, little one. Just go pee if you need to, that is what you wear them for. And it will be our secret, I promise”, she heard her mother, laying her arm on her daughter's shoulder. Was it really so strange for her to wet her diaper, she questioned her belief. Her mum just had given Lila permission to use it when she needed to pee. And the diaper felt so soft and comfy, it could not be that bad, could it? First slightly squirming, Lila tried to release the pressure on her bladder, but it was quite difficult to do so deliberately, especially sitting on a bench in a crowded airport. This time she obviously pushed, pressing her eyes together as she slowly was able to squeeze out a few drops. “It is quite hard if you are not used to it, do you want to sit with me, it makes it easier.”, her mum promised. Lila switched over to the welcoming lap, suddenly noticing the difference. Without the hard surface she was sitting on, the next push gradually grew into a steady flow, making her crotch warm and squishy for a second. She hardly could stop peeing until her need was gone, and she felt dry and comfy again. Mom had taken notice of the growing warmth on her lap and had figured out what was happening. "Are you done wetting?" she asked with a motherly smile. Still a little embarrassed but glad she had the urgent need off her mind, Lila nodded in response. "The shop assistant assured me, it will keep you dry even if you have to go pee another time. But are you still feeling comfy and dry?" asked her worried Mom as discreetly as possible. For a second she forgot she was in public, squeezing her thighs together and checking the now not-too-obvious bulge between her legs. Not bad she had to admit, it was warm and still soft but not wet as her old pull-up would have been. "I'm good.", said Lila as she decided to not switch back to her own seat and was slightly thankful that her mum talked her into wearing a diaper again. Actually, Lila thought the warm feeling of her wet diaper was quite pleasant. She could tell that she had peed quite a bit into her babyish underwear, but these diapers were more absorbent than her old bed-wetters pants, and they could definitely hold a lot more. Maybe she was hesitant when arguing that she did not need the diapers on the trip. And she had to admit that wetting herself was still a big stress relief for her on this busy transit through the airports. As the minutes passed, their flight was announced over the speakers and Lila's family made their way to the crowded boarding gate. “You should finish your bottle”, her dad reminded her about the half a liter of sparkling water in her hands. Lila took a sip, as she noticed she had to pee again. I am already wet, she thought and as she only pushed a little, she was surprised how easily she started wetting. “Lila, we better change your diaper before we board the plane, don't we honey?”, suggested her Mom, as she spotted a toilet with a baby changing symbol added to the women’s bathroom. “You know, having to change your diaper on the plane would be a nightmare and very obvious.” Without trusting her diaper too much, she agreed with Mom that a change in the plane would be better avoided. After placing their bags with Dad, Mom took Lila to the toilet. There was a changing table, but it was just made to change a baby, and it was way too small to accommodate Lila. But upmost importantly, it would have been incredibly embarrassing for the small but still teenage girl, so instead they headed to one of the empty stalls together. Her Mom shut the door, “Can you lift your skirt for me, please.” Lila shyly raised her skirt, revealing the yellow-tainted diaper. “It was a good decision we switched you to diapers”, explained Mom, as she removed the tapes, letting the sodden diaper suddenly fall on the floor with a ‘plop’. “Your pull-ups would have been leaking long ago”, she concluded. “Now, do you still need to go potty?” Yes, Lila did feel a very light need to go, but using her diaper was not as bad as she thought, and she slowly began to regret that she was so determined to not use them on the trip. At least she could be using them on the flight and avoid the smelly dirty places they surely used as toilets here as well, she was making her decision. “No, I’m fine, Mom.”, Lila replied as she remembered how disgusting the toilets in public always were. “Sure honey.”, her mum smiled again. She cleaned her darling with a couple of quick wipes, unfolded the fresh diaper, and taped it on her daughter as if she never stopped doing it. Lila let go of her skirt and enjoyed the dryness of her underwear for a second. A wet diaper did not feel uncomfortable at all, but the feeling of a fresh and clean one felt pretty nice as well. “Let's go on a vacation” her Mom cheered, as she rolled up her sodden diaper, throwing it in the bin. While Lila was in a daydream about what just happened, she stepped out of the stall and followed her Mom. ### “Honey, good morning, we have just landed.” whispered her Mom as she gently kissed Lila awake. Opening her eyes, the girl slowly began to sit upright, rubbing all the sleepiness out of her face while stretching her legs. Yes, it was a good flight, she loved the thrill of takeoff and enjoyed the view over the clouds while she was taking advantage of the drinks and snacks they delivered. Eventually, all her adventures of the day caught up with the young girl, and she had fallen asleep with a smile for the rest of her flight. Now, as she stretched and wanted to get up, she noticed the slightly damp and warm feeling in her crotch. She indeed used her diapers two times on the transit when she had to go, and she was glad that Mum had not said a word about the not-too-small amount of soda that she downed. Feeling awake and ready to explore now, Lila glanced around the plane, noticing that most of the passengers had already disembarked and were on their way to the luggage claim. She did not want to wait any longer, as her dad was busy getting their bags from the overhead compartment. And in a moment her daughter was up on her feed waiting for her day bag and ready to start their vacation. As she was on her feet, she noticed her soaked diaper sag a little and the bulge between her legs was quite visible now if you knew it was there. She checked the back of her skirt for leaks and surely was relieved that everything still was dry For a second she wondered, whenever she had used her pull-ups it never felt this heavy. But this diaper had kept her dry and could handle a lot more than her old bed-wetters pants. As they followed all the signs to the baggage claim, Lila's belly started to feel uncomfortable, and she eventually had to go to the bathroom soon. Seeing that her parents were in a bit of a rush, she paid no mind to the ache and focused on keeping up with their pace. After arriving at the baggage claim, Lila went to grab a trolley while Mom and Dad waited at the conveyor belt for their bags. She pushed the trolley forward and joyfully jumped while rolling with it for some meters when she noticed the need to go suddenly coming back. But her parents looked so busy in the hustle and bustle of the airport, and she did not dare to raise her voice. Obviously, her only option was to tell Mom to take her diaper off for her to go to the restroom. But as she thought about that stinky room, she got a slight feeling of nausea in her throat. Actually peeing in the diapers saved her from this unpleasant experience on the transit through the airports. And now that she realized that this need would not be solved in such a quick but also childish and embarrassing manner, the worries that were so distant returned. Her mum sometimes offered her to just go when she was at the edge of having an accident and even if that was some years ago, she had to admit that her current underwear was made with that kind of accident in mind. And she even wore full tape-on diapers and was not in pull-ups now. Little kids and Babies do that all the time, don't they? She even remembered the adults talking about kids on the edge of potty training, just putting a diaper on when they needed to poop. It cannot be that uncomfortable. She was wondering what it would be like to go poopy in her diaper. And while the idea settled into her mind, she even got a little curious about how it would feel. Suddenly the need to go returned. Lila was sure she would not be able to hold back much longer as she squirmed and wiggled, hoping her need just would go away. “Lila, you look so worried. What's up?” she suddenly approached her little girl who was obviously feeling uncomfortable. “I... I am fine. It is just I may need to go to the bathroom a little longer really soon.”, she admitted sheepishly. “I can go to the toilet with you after we get our bags, in about five minutes, can you still wait for so long?” she explained, not realizing that her girl was on the edge of losing the battle against her belly. Lila put her hand on her tummy and felt the growing need to go now. Slowly shaking her head, she looked at her as she always did when she desperately wanted her help. “Can’t you come with me, so we can go now.”, she asked shyly, not willing to let her mum go and signaling that she might not be able to go on her own. “No baby, Bernhard needs my help, we cannot leave right now. ... So if you really need to go so urgently, I wouldn’t mind you using your diaper for poop as well. It's just a short trip to our hotel and I can change you when we get there easily.”, she told her and stroked her back as she always did when she was uncomfortable or stressed. Her mum just suggested that she should poop in her ‘just in case’ diaper. This was so embarrassing was her first thought, but after some moments she realized it would finally take the ache from her. And while everyone else would have ditched the proposal, for Lila it calmed her dilemma and even made her a little curious. Peeing in the diaper was such a relief, so pooping herself could not be so bad after all? She assumed in her mind. She smiled in Lila's face. “I really don't mind if you need to. You don't have to fight that hard.”, she tried to ease away the little girl's resistance. Maybe using it was the best option for her. As embarrassing as it was to admit, the thought of doing that with her mum’s consent made her feel loved and protected as if nothing could harm her. So Lila started wondering what it would feel like to actually do the other thing as well. With a sigh, Lila decided she wanted to try it, at least once. And this time she had a good excuse. Her parents had no time to accompany her, and she would not dare to go into the toilet alone, which could potentially be gross, dirty, and scary with all the unfamiliar people around. Even the idea of facing all the looks of strangers, the smells and flushing sounds without someone she knew close made her confident about her decision. “I think I'll use my ... you know, Mommy.”, Lila whispered, embarrassed and felt like a loved little girl while her mommy protected her. “It's ok you will feel much better”, she heard her say as Mom smiled and nodded, and joined Dad at the conveyor belt, leaving Lila some meters away waiting with their trolley. Lila tried to let it go, like she did when she needed to pee on the plane. But the ache in her belly just intensified further, and she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. After all, pooping herself was a lot more … involving than peeing. As she looked up again, she noticed all the adults were just staring where their luggage would appear. Surely no one would pay any attention to her, except for mum and dad of course. With that in mind, Lila leaned a little bit forward, resting some of her weight on the trolley. She relaxed her hold on her bowels and gave another slight push. A small trickle of pee released first before a tiny bit of her mess began making its way out. It cannot be that hard, Lila wondered, as she saw a little baby boy standing with his legs slightly apart, clearly doing his business in his pants. He does not care at all that he was messing his diaper. She felt the pressure in her belly coming back and also slightly spread her legs apart as she started to push. This time there wasn’t resistance in her tummy. Lila could feel the warmth quickly spreading as sticky poop squished against her bum. In relief, she exhaled and felt the load settle itself at the back of her diaper. Lila felt her belly relaxing a little. She now just wanted to feel comfortable again and all this nasty stuff out of her tummy. Once again she pushed a little harder, this time, and a few seconds later she was confident she had gotten everything out, while she realized that the feeling of pooping herself was much different from just wetting. While the diaper would quickly absorb all her pee, the poop had instead formed a slightly warm mess at the back of her diaper. However, she felt that it was actually quite pleasant and didn't feel bad at all. And it’s at least much better than having to use an icky, stinky restroom. Lila assured herself. She shook herself and pretended to smooth out the back of her skirt, carefully placing her hand on the diaper to make sure it was not too obvious as she was still in public. And she noticed the diaper was heavier now, and the sag kept most of her firm mess away from the childlike-looking girl's skin. For a second she smelled a faint lingering odor of poop. But she looked old enough that no one would expect it to be her who is poopy. Lila raised her head and saw her Mum looking over at her while she was still standing here doing her business as the little baby boy did just some moments ago. She noticed the kind smile on mummy's face as she turned back, helping dad take a heavy bag off. Mum knows, flashed to her mind as she wanted to be back with her parents. Lila slowly walked towards the conveyor belt to join them again. Somehow she wanted to tell them that she was messy, but it was much too embarrassing and babyish for her to admit. What will my daddy think of me just going in my diaper for that as well? The slight scent, however, told her parents anyway as she was approaching them. As Bernhard had picked up all their bags he sniffed and, with a knowing gaze, took Lila by her hand as he had not done for some years. “Let's get our car and finally head to the hotel.”, he said, willingly ignoring what his child just did and as if he was telling her everything was ok Lila was glad she was not alone anymore. She followed Dad and also stayed close to him while they were standing in the car rental pickup line. Standing in line, her mom decided that it was a good time to do a quick diaper check. She tried to pull on Lila's back of her pants, when her daughter quickly turned away and leaned closer to dad “Mom!” she exclaimed, “people are going to see!” “Don’t worry, no one’s going to think badly of you. And I just have to make sure that your diaper was holding up after your accident. You don't want to have a messy leak in the rental car after all. So do you let me check your diaper?” replied Mom with a loving smile while she did not even bother to lower her voice. “Mum ... !“, Lila tried to make a futile argument, while her dad just looked her in the eyes. “Really baby. No one knows you here, so it’s okay you don't need to feel ashamed about accidents while using diapers for traveling.” he underlined Mum's argument. The girl was really embarrassed now and hid her face in her dad's shirt. Lila felt loved, and she trusted her parents, but at the same time, she felt like a small toddler being checked for a messy accident. “I will have a short look.", her mum announced once more. Lila just moved her head in approval, while she felt her mum touch her bum and felt a tiny pull at her waistband and the back of her diaper. “You will be fine for now.”, she announced after a second. Getting her diaper checked by Mom was embarrassing, not only because they were in public, but also because it was their parent’s proof that she had indeed messed herself. Oh well, thought Lila. Her parents had surely smelled it already, and they would see it when she was in the hotel room. Dad hurried away with the clerk from the rental company and got over to the pick-up point. The mother and daughter couple patiently waited outside, where the company put some benches for all the waiting customers. With all the arriving passengers, nearly all seats were taken, and her mum just got the last free spot. “Do you like to sit on my lap again?”, she offered her girl, as she knew her feet were hurting after the long day of traveling. “But I have just...”, Lila stumbled as discreetly as she could, while at the same time she could not confess that she had a messy load in her diaper. “I am your mum, I don't mind your little skunky bum, and I have seen and changed you a lot in the past years”, she calmed her down, while not even confirming that this accident was a one-time ever event for her childlike small but already teenage daughter. Lila slowly sat on her mom's lap, while the strange feeling of the soft mess now spread all over her boom, confused her senses and created the strong childish need to cuddle with her mum. As her mum wrapped her loving arms around her, she no longer could stand being the independent teeny anymore but hid her face on mum's shoulder, ignoring what she might look like. Feeling her body so close and being loved by her mum was all she needed to leave her grumpy teenage thoughts behind. “Hi, you sleepy head, you have a really comfortable seat don't you”, her dad greeted her daughter as he arrived with their rental car and took their heavy luggage into the trunk. “Yes Daddy”, she cheered, not yet ready to let Mum go. “Lila is so sweet and affectionate today.”, her mother responded. “Do you want to cuddle your daddy too?”, the man offered his darling a chance to leave her mom's lap. She hugged him, still experiencing the irresistible childlike love for her parents. As if her dad had been on a week-long business trip, she now was clamping on him, even not letting him go as he lifted her up as a little girl. “We had a small issue with the car arrangement.”, the strong man on her shoulder, told his wife. “They did not have a booster for our Lila. The only possibility was the safer but more expensive child seat option for younger ones, but at least they did not charge us extra.” Feeling so much love from him, the girl could not protest, but she still didn't want it to be too childish. “What kind of child seat?”, she found the courage to ask, interrupting her parent's discussion. “Oh, it is a nice one in a purplish red color”, he advertised. Without dropping his girl to the ground, he took her over to the backseats of the car, opening the door and revealing a full-sized seat that even had shoulder straps as a seat for a rally driver. First, she wanted to protest that she was not a baby, but then the love from her parents and the comfortable hug lulled her into thinking twice about it. Wasn't her diaper the same thing, something childish, that could actually feel nice and comfortable? “Oh I am sure you are in for trouble”, his wife commented on the seat that her husband had chosen, remembering all the discussions she had with her daughter in the past weeks. Lila did not want to be a grumpy vacation Grinch, and maybe she also wanted to show her mum that she was wrong. “It is ok, at least we will have one, and we can enjoy our time here.” Her teenage side enjoyed the surprised feeling on her mum's face. “I think our big girl is not as grumpy and cranky as you think. Can I let you down to try it? It may be a little difficult with the buckles.” “But Daddy, I still want to cuddle with you.”, she confessed that the child in her was back in command. Slightly caught off guard, he whispered, “Do you mind if I tuck you in?”, he suggested, remembering the countless times that he placed his sleepy or sad daughter in the back of their car. “Yes Daddy” she mumbled while the only important thing was that he did not let her down on the hot and hard street. With some well-trained moves, he opened the door and let her slip on the seat. Without thinking, she put her hands in the shoulder straps and let him close the buckle with a click. Lila wiggled a little And while she noticed the lack of space to move, she somehow also felt comfortable. She liked the soft fabric and the small pillow that was there for her head. “I like it”, she confirmed again. And as the adults smiled a little, she added, “Just don't make me use it at home when my classmates see me. Ok?” The two adults, who were still astonished by the change in her teenage girl’s temper, got in at the front. With the push of a button, they opened the window a bit to let in the fresh summer vibes and to keep Lila's poopy smell at bay that still kind of lingered around her. As the drive was getting boring, she had time to think about all the things that changed while they left their city apartment. Most of all was that she, despite all her doubts, actually liked her diapers and the freedom she had to pee or even poop whenever she needed. But there was also the trust and love for her parents that was crowing again, as if her puberty had never sent the first confusing ideas in her mind. Making her more cranky than she actually wanted to be. ### Excited about the new place, Lila jumped on the queen-size bed in their hotel room. Her parents had just checked themselves in at the reception, and the young girl could not wait to explore everything the place had to offer. There were so many nice things she could think about that she nearly forgot about her messy diaper, that she still wore under her slightly childlike shorts. Mom had started unpacking all their bags, while her Dad headed down to the lobby, surely parking their car in the hotel's parking garage. As the last empty bag was packed away, her Mom looked at her girl. Lila was lying on the bed, checking out the kid's channels on TV while thinking about the hotel pool and the waterslides that they had here. The last things that Mom left on the bed were Lila's old travel changing mat and a fresh pack of wipes. “Honey, come, let us get that poopy diaper of yours changed.” Mom announced as she placed the mat and her wipes next to her on the bed. “Can you lift your tushie for a moment, baby?” “I am not a baby” she insisted, ignoring the obvious smell and still letting her mum slide the changing pad up under her back. Then she raised her skirt over her belly. With her hand, she signaled her girl, that she could lie back down Lila could feel the soft but water-impermeable layer around her changing area and noticed that she was indeed acting as if she was a baby girl. And while noticing that, she became a lot more self-conscious about the embarrassing thing she did. “Mom you know, I think I have to clean that up by myself.” offered Lila embarrassed, and at the same time she simply wanted to vanish into thin air. But still, she trusted her mum that she would not leave her alone with all the mess she had in her diaper. Maria placed her hand on her kid's belly, “I will do that, honey. I promised that when I told you to go poopy.” replied Mom. “Besides, when you were a baby, I’ve changed your poopy diapers a ton of times, and I really don't mind doing it again today.” Lila relaxed as she heard that, she relented in relief and slowly spread her legs, making it at least as easy as possible for her Mom. “Oh, this diaper is full.” giggled Mom as she opened the tapes, revealing the mess on her booty. “I am sorry. Your mummy should have changed your way earlier. This must have been very uncomfortable.” “It was not that bad, Mom, I nearly forgot about that after some moments.”, replied Lila honestly. “You know actually ...“, she continued, before her embarrassment suddenly stopped her. “Actually, ...?” continued her Mom, as she softly began wiping down Lila’s messy tushie. “It’s just… I don't know, it made the trip much easier for me and I kind of liked it a little, I guess…” stumbled Lila. “And I really hate to go to the smelly bathrooms. In my diapers I felt so loved and protected as if I am still your little child.”, she confessed. “You are always my child and I love you.”, she told Lila and Mom continued wiping in silence as the young girl enjoyed the feeling of the cold, soothing wipe gently rubbing against her skin while being so close to her mum. As Maria rolled up the dirty diaper, she kissed her belly. “You are all clean now.” exclaimed her mom, waiting for a second to see if she would stand up to get her panties on. But as the moments passed, it was clear that there was more Lila wanted from her. And with a sarcastically strict voice, she said, “Now, we have something to discuss, my little one. You know, I used to insist that you wear pull-ups in the past because I didn’t want you stressing about having an accident, especially since you wet the bed pretty often.” She paused for a second to see Lila’s reaction and when there was no sign of refusal she continued, “Today I promised you that you could switch back to wearing undies this year. But, you had accidents in them a lot today, and you told me you also liked the security and comfort that they gave you. So I thought we might as well keep you in diapers like what we’ve always done, or do you really want to switch back to underwear right now and just wear them as bed-wetting briefs at night?” Mom’s question surprised Lila. She did enjoy her diapers a little on the trip, and she just told her that it was comfy and made her feel protected and small. She now regretted her strong refusal. And while her pride as a teenager was on the line, she truthfully did want to be diapered again. “Do you mind if I choose the diapers?”, confessed Lila with her face red like a tomato... “Of course not, my girl. I think those will give you a much more relaxed vacation if you don't have to worry about bed-wetting when you are tired.”, said Mom, who then went to grab some fresh diapers and powder from the closet. “But how can I go to the bathroom and pee when I wear them, I mean they are real diapers and not just pull-ups” the girl wondered as she felt the soft fabric under her bum. “Oh.” Her mum replied, “I really don't mind you using them when you need to go, and if we have a toilet close by you just come with me and I help you to get to the potty” Gently, she fluffed up another plain white diaper, placed it under her booty, and sprinkled a little bit of powder. After checking the alignment was right and nothing was too tight, she taped the diaper in place and carefully adjusted the leak guards, as Lila rolled over at her belly and giggled. “You are done, baby”, she said as she gave the diaper a gentle pat “Could you tell me when you need a change.” her mum reminded her of their mutual agreement that they had on their previous trips. “Okay.” nodded Lila. The little girl somehow was conflicted. Wearing a diaper, wetting and pooping in it was surely supposed to have been so shameful. Especially for a young woman her age, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the strange feeling at all. And getting her diaper changed by her mom was supposed to be extremely embarrassing at thirteen. But for her, it was different. It felt somewhat nice. She felt like a loved child and enjoyed the childish affection and trust, she experienced while returning into this nearly lost stage of their mummy-daughter relationship.

What condition do you like to see a diaper in photos?

🤣 🤣 🤣 Glad someone appreciated the little giggle I had writing that line! 🙂 Thanks for the comments! 🙂

It is the most beautiful Happy Easter emoji/gif I have seen this year 🤗

Hail Satan !!! *muhuhuhuha* 😂 *regretfully passes on the chocolate this year because I’m serious about sticking to my diet* 🥵

I stumbled onto this story a few days ago, and I’m glad that I did. This is one of the most riveting and well written stories I’ve read in a long time and I can’t wait for more.

I think not. Even if this somehow couldn't be resolved at the Amazon level (which would be easiest), the publishing entity in question is Australian and thus subject to the Australian Copyright Act of 1968 (Commonwealth). As I understand it, there is no requirement for you to "copyright" your original work in order to benefit from copyright under that act. Copyright is automatically granted to the author of the work. If you can prove prior publication, you have the copyright under Australian law. Explicitly asserting copyright in your text is a strategy, not a requirement. https://www.legislation.gov.au/C1968A00063/latest/text I believe that changing the author's name is a "false attribution" under the act which is something of an insta-fail. Here it is in chapter and verse (from the act cited above): 195AD Acts of false attribution of authorship of a literary, dramatic or musical work If the work is a literary, dramatic or musical work, it is an act of false attribution in relation to the author of the work: (a) to insert or affix, or to authorise the inserting or affixing of, a person’s name in or on the work, or in or on a reproduction of the work, in such a way as: (i) to imply falsely that the person is the author or an author of the work; or (ii) to imply falsely that the work is an adaptation of a work of the person; or (b) to deal with the work with a person’s name so inserted or affixed, if the attributor knows that the person is not an author of the work or that the work is not an adaptation of a work of the person, as the case may be; or (c) to deal with a reproduction of the work, being a reproduction in or on which a person’s name has been so inserted or affixed, if the attributor knows that the person is not an author of the work or that the work is not an adaptation of a work of the person, as the case may be; or (d) to perform the work in public, or communicate it to the public, as being a work of which a person is the author or as being an adaptation of a work of a person, if the attributor knows that the person is not an author of the work or that the work is not an adaptation of the work of the person, as the case may be. That's even BEFORE we get to the question of damages. This isn't legal advice. I'm not qualified to give legal advice but I do know a little of the local law and on the face of it, with the facts as you've recounted, the "publisher" and possibly a co-respondent "author" would not have a legal leg to stand on. Their best option upon receipt of a legal snot-O-gram would be to soil their nappies immediately, appoint their own solicitor and settle with you.

Just like a baby's bottom.

Ditto what the others said. But probably leave the nursery print plastic panties at home.... 😂🤣😄 I actually wore a disposable diaper to a medical procedure a few years ago. They had to "put me under" for the procedure, and I was also in a hospital gown. I mentioned to the prep nurse that I wet when I sleep, so I was wearing an "incontinence brief". As I was telling her this, I raised the side of my hospital gown a little, showing her what I was talking about. She just smiled and said that was no problem, and it was much common than I might think.

Thx for the replies it’s only that I fell a bit uncomfortable because it’s my first time having to tell someone about it

Here’s the mechanism in action, saving me from having ignored the almost overflowing drip dray on my espresso machine. Looks and feels like an inflatable raft in a pool.

I've been somehow on a morning messing schedule for the past few years. I mess my diaper every morning while I drink my coffee, without any pushing. I don't change right away, and usually have a second or third BM within a half hour or so. And then before showering, I'll give a push attempt to see if there's anything else in there before taking my diaper off, (But i'm usually empty at that point). Other than the morning, I usually don't have to poop during the rest of the daytime. However, there are some rare exceptions where I will have a need for a daytime BM, but a very small percentage of the time. I would suggest you try to get onto a schedule like this, so you can take care of your BM's in the morning before you shower. As far as accomplishing this, It could have something to do with that I drink lots of water before bed, for better sleep and extra hydration. I hardly drink soda, and also drink plenty of water during the day.

Chapter 15: The labyrinth unveiled As they approached the entrance of the library, Ghost signaled for his team to follow. The large wooden doors creaked softly as they swung open, revealing the dimly lit interior. The Hellcats moved in like silent shadows, their footsteps muffled by the thick carpet underfoot. Ghost led the way, his eyes scanning the rows of bookshelves. He could feel the tension building within the team, each member sensing they were mere steps away from the unknown dangers lurking beneath. Rabbit trailed close behind, her fingers dancing over her tech pad, ensuring they remained undetected as they ventured deeper. "We've reached the second underground level, Argos," Ghost reported, his voice barely a whisper. He could hear the soft hum of machinery in the distance, a telling sign they were drawing closer to their target. "Bring up the lift." The team huddled together, watching as the lift slowly ascended from the depths below. As it came to a stop, Ghost turned to his team, his eyes reflecting the determination that burned within them all. "We're going in hot. Be ready for anything." With a nod from Rabbit, the team stepped onto the lift, their hearts pounding in sync as they descended into the unknown. The lift jolted to a stop, and Ghost gestured for the others to follow as he led the charge towards the lab entrance. As they neared, the sound of footsteps echoed through the corridor. Wire, their sharp-shooter, tense and ready, whispered into her commLink, "I've got eyes on possible hostiles. Heavy with Nannybots." "Hold your fire," Ghost ordered, his voice steady. "We're here for the captives, not a firefight." The lab's entrance loomed ahead, a large metal door etched with the faded emblem of Emerson University. Ghost signaled for Rabbit to get to work on the door's security panel. As she began to work her magic, the sound of footsteps grew louder, and the distinctive shape of Nannybots appeared on the horizon. "We don't have much time," Ghost warned. "Make it quick, Rabbit." With a triumphant smile, Rabbit pried open the panel, exposing the delicate wiring within. She worked deftly, her fingers a blur as she bypassed the security system. With a final spark of electricity, the door groaned open, revealing the hidden complex beyond. The team stood at the threshold, their hearts racing as they prepared to face the unknown. They knew this was just the beginning - a dangerous mission fraught with peril. But they were the Hellcats, a force to be reckoned with, and they would not rest until they had saved their own. As they stepped through the door, they vanished into the maze of twisting corridors, their footsteps echoing through the cavernous space. The fight to save their friends had truly begun, and they would not hesitate to risk everything in their quest for freedom. For they were not just warriors - they were heroes, united against an oppressive world that sought to keep them down. The battle had started, and the outcome hung in the balance. But the Hellcats were ready, and they would not be easily defeated. With a final nod from Ghost, they advanced, their hearts filled with hope, their spirits unbroken. For they were the Hellcats and they would not rest until victory was theirs. The drone, a sleek hovering orb, emerged from the shadows like a specter, its sensors locking onto the Hellcats. It beeped a series of crisp, coded messages that only a machine could understand. "Looks like we've got a guide," Wire remarked, her eyes fixed on the mechanical escort. Ghost nodded, his gaze never leaving the drone. "Argos, you're sure this thing's friendly?" Through their earpieces, Argos's voice resonated with the clear certainty of a thousand computations. "Affirmative. The drone is an extension of my surveillance network. Follow it to your objective." The Hellcats exchanged wary glances as the drone pivoted, signaling them to proceed. The metallic corridor stretched out before them, terminating at a formidable door that looked like it had survived wars from another time. "This is old tech," Rabbit observed, eyeing the sturdy construction of the blast door with a hint of disapproval. "Not what you'd expect in a place like Emerson." "Old doesn't mean easy," Ghost countered. "Let's stay sharp." As they neared the door, the drone emitted a low-frequency pulse. The massive door responded with a series of mechanical clicks and groans before it reluctantly began to slide open. The Hellcats paused at the threshold, taking in the descent that awaited them beyond the door. It was as if they were about to plunge into the bowels of history itself. Ghost turned to his team, his voice tinged with the gravity of their situation. "We don't know what's down there. Keep your eyes peeled and watch each other's backs." Rabbit pulled out her tech pad once more, her fingers moving with practiced ease. "I'll jam any signals coming in or out. We don't want any surprises." Wire checked her weapon one last time, feeling its familiar weight in her hands. "I'm ready to light up anything that moves wrong." The Hellcats advanced down the staircase with measured steps, their senses alert for any sign of danger. As they descended deeper into the darkness, each knew they were moving further away from the world they knew and deeper into uncertainty. Argos's voice was their lifeline in the silence that enveloped them. "I will monitor your progress from here. Good luck, Hellcats." The Hellcats followed the drone, their senses on high alert as they navigated the winding corridors. "This doesn't feel right," Wire muttered, her grip tightening on her weapon. "What the hell is a door like that doing in a university?" Ghost shook his head, his voice grim. "I don't know, but I don't like it. Rabbit, see if you can get us through." Rabbit stepped forward, her tech pad already in hand. She scanned the door, her brow furrowing as she processed the data. "This is some serious hardware, Ghost. It's going to take some time." Ghost exchanged a glance with his team, their expressions mirroring his own unease. But they had come too far to turn back now. With a nod, he signaled for Rabbit to continue her work. Minutes ticked by, each second feeling like an eternity as they stood before the imposing door. Finally, with a triumphant cry, Rabbit stepped back, the door sliding open with a hiss of hydraulics. Beyond lay a staircase, descending even deeper into the bowels of the earth. The Hellcats hesitated, the weight of the unknown pressing down upon them. "I've got a bad feeling about this," Wire whispered, her voice barely audible over the pounding of their hearts. Ghost nodded, his jaw set with determination. "So do I. But we don't have a choice. Our targets are down there, and we're not leaving without them." With a deep breath, he stepped forward, his team falling in behind him. The drone led the way, its soft glow illuminating the path ahead. As the Hellcats descended the ancient staircase, the air grew thick with the scent of bygone conflicts. The walls bore the scars of a time when the world trembled under the weight of relentless ambition and technological prowess pushed to its limits. They moved cautiously, each step resonating with history's echoes. "These walls... they've seen more than just academic disputes," Rabbit murmured, her voice a hushed reverence for the past. Ghost nodded, his eyes scanning the shadows. "Yeah, this place reeks of old power plays and secrets best left buried." Wire adjusted her weapon, her gaze fixed on the distant darkness. "Remember the stories our elders would avoid? About an age when our kind wasn't just marginalized but caught in a crossfire of giants?" A grim understanding passed between them; none dared to voice it directly, but each mind raced with tales of a colossal struggle that had once shaken the foundations of their worlds. Rabbit glanced at Ghost, her eyes seeking confirmation. "You think this is part of that... legacy?" Without a word, Ghost ran his fingers over a large dent in the metal wall — a silent testament to a violent impact from an era long past. The drone ahead paused as if waiting for them to absorb the gravity of their surroundings. "Feels like we're walking through a museum dedicated to mistakes," Wire commented, her tone laced with unease. The silence hung heavy as they continued through the labyrinthine passages. The deeper they went, the more palpable the sense of foreboding became. Rabbit's fingers paused on her tech pad, a frown etching her features. "These energy readings... they're off the charts. Whatever happened here, it wasn't just a footnote in history." Ghost led them forward with a quiet resolve. "Let's keep moving. We've got lives to save, regardless of what ghosts we're walking among." They pressed on, their steps synchronized with the pulse of revelations that thrummed through the ancient corridors. The Hellcats knew they were treading upon ground that once quaked with the fury of two worlds clashing — yet their mission was clear: rescue and survive. Ghost stopped short when they reached an intersection. He held up a hand, signaling his team to halt. "Listen," he whispered. A distant rumble reverberated through the corridor, sending vibrations through the soles of their boots. "That doesn't sound like any Nannybot I've ever heard," Wire said. Rabbit checked her tech pad again, her expression tightening. "There's an energy spike ahead. Something's active down here—and it's not just surveillance." They shared an uneasy look, understanding that whatever lay ahead was part of a legacy far older than any mission they had undertaken before. "Could be leftover security systems from the war," Ghost speculated, his voice low but clear. Wire grimaced at the thought. "Let's hope they don't mistake us for enemy combatants." With renewed caution, they advanced down one corridor after another, each step a reminder of the risks they were taking by delving into this relic of a bygone conflict. "Argos," Ghost spoke again into his comLink as they continued their descent into history's depths, "keep your sensors peeled for anything out of place." "Understood," came Argos's reply through their earpieces. "You are walking through shadows of the past—stay vigilant and mind the steps…" * * * "Damn, I hate these giant steps," Foxboy muttered, looking up at the next flight with a grimace. "Trust the drone, Foxboy," he said, gesturing towards the small device scooting in front of them. "It'll guide us through." With a deep breath, Foxboy activated his exoskeleton. The mechanical limbs extended from his body, giving him the strength and agility to jump over each step with ease. The Hellcats followed suit, their own exoskeletons humming as they leapt from one stair to the next. Ghost led the way, his eyes fixed on the drone in front of them. Rabbit and Wire trailed behind, their weapons at the ready. As they descended deeper into the library's subterranean levels, they could feel the air growing colder and more oppressive. Foxboy watched them go, his face hardening with resolve. He flexed his fingers around the handles of his exoskeleton and then pushed off from the ground. The force propelled him upwards and forwards, carrying him up multiple flights in one bound. Ghost's communicator vibrated against his wrist, a silent but urgent demand for attention amidst the darkness of the underground labyrinth. With a swift motion, he signaled the team to halt, their bodies instantly tensing in anticipation. Rabbit's fingers paused over her tech-pad, and Wire's eyes scanned the shadows for any sign of movement. "Emergency hold," Ghost whispered, his voice barely a ripple in the still air. The Hellcats exchanged quick glances, their training kicking in as they secured their positions. Rabbit tapped her earpiece, connecting to the voice that had become their lifeline in this clandestine operation. "Argos, what's happening?" The AI's voice was calm, almost dispassionate, yet it carried the weight of urgency. "I'm redirecting the video feed from the nursery to your devices now." The Hellcats' communicators flickered to life, displaying an image that tightened Ghost's jaw and sparked a fire in Rabbit's eyes. On the screens before them lay Bixente and Adrian, unconscious and heavily diapered. The bulky garments made them appear immobile and vulnerable—a sight that fueled their rescuers' determination. "They're deep asleep," Argos continued, "the current state renders them nearly incapable of movement." Wire let out a low growl, his instincts railing against the sight of comrades so helplessly bound. "We can't leave them like that," he hissed. Argos was already one step ahead. "I suggest waiting until they are changed into pull-ups before initiating rescue. Mobility will be crucial for a swift extraction." Ghost nodded slowly, considering Argos' strategic advice. The image of Bixente and Adrian seared into his mind—two warriors reduced to this state was more than just unsettling; it was personal. "Agreed," Ghost replied with a firmness that left no room for debate. "We'll wait for the changeover." Rabbit checked her tech-pad again, adjusting parameters and timing with precise taps. "That gives us a window," she murmured. Wire shifted his weight, his gaze never leaving the screen where Bixente and Adrian lay defenseless. "Let's make sure it's a damn small window," he growled. "Consider the ventilation system," Argos suggested, its voice cutting through the tension that hung heavy in the underground space. "It will allow you to advance undetected and maintain the high ground." Ghost considered Argos's proposal. He glanced at the blueprints of the library displayed on his communicator. His eyes traced the labyrinth of ducts that ran throughout the structure, offering a hidden network of paths that bypassed heavily guarded corridors. The drone buzzed impatiently in front of him, its soft light casting long shadows on the stone walls. It was ready to lead them through the maze of vents and tunnels, a guide through their metallic jungle. "Copy that, Argos," Ghost replied, his gaze hardening with resolve. He turned to his team, their faces masked by night vision goggles but their determination clear. "We're going airborne." Rabbit's fingers danced over her tech-pad, adjusting their equipment for the new plan. She nodded once at Ghost, signaling her readiness. Wire was already inspecting his grapple gun, checking its functionality with practiced ease. The quiet hum of its motor filled the air as he tested it, a sound that was both comforting and ominous. Foxboy followed suit, his smaller frame advantageous in navigating tight spaces. He moved to the head of the group, poised to lead them into the vent system. With a swift motion, Ghost activated his grapple gun. The wire shot upwards, latching onto an unseen anchor point within the vent above them. He gave it a firm tug, testing its hold before glancing back at his team. "On me," he ordered. One by one, they ascended into darkness. The clank of their boots against metal echoed faintly in the cavernous space below as they disappeared into the labyrinth above. As Ghost crawled through narrow tunnels and around tight corners, he could hear the faint whirr of Argos's drone leading the way. The AI's soft glow cast an eerie light on the metallic walls, illuminating their path through the ventilation system.

Everyone in this setting is 'Normal' size, in that they fall into the same range that people in the real world fall into. Unlike the DD, being Little here isn't about size/genetics, it's just a mental state and social class. ... Chapter Seven Jamie toppled as Michelle pushed him onto the bed, legs feeling unsteady–it felt as though the pee that had soaked in and made his diaper sag had imbalanced his whole body, even though the pull-up couldn’t possibly be that full. Regardless, he fell back and landed on the mattress, and though he expected her to start changing him, he didn’t expect her to be quite so enthusiastic about it. She followed him onto the bed, pulling the straps off his shortalls, straddling his knees as she pulled the garment down off his body, so that only his onesie and pull-up remained. “Be a good boy and lie still for me,” she instructed, moving to discard the shortalls completely. Jamie nodded, and felt silly for doing so–he didn’t need to agree, that was like agreeing to breathe. He would simply do whatever Michelle told him to do; she knew what would keep him safe, what the grown-up choices would be, and he’d be better off following her instructions than trying to think for himself. The snaps on his onesie came free, and Michelle’s hand slid up the front of his fully saturated pull-up, groping the crotch of his diaper. He was burning with desire, but to his surprise, he hadn’t grown hard enough to make the diaper tent out, only bulging it a little. Jamie could absolutely feel Michelle’s fingers stroke over the soggy garment, but he didn’t know if she could feel him back. Still, it didn’t matter–Michelle pulled her hand back and slid off the bed, though he would have been fine for her to leave it there forever if it meant the dizzying pleasure stayed firmly in his thoughts. Instead, though, she began to change his pull-up, ripping the sides so that it could be removed just like a thoroughly saturated Little diaper. The baby wipes she produced were warm, pre-heated for his comfort, and she worked delicately to clean all the stale urine from his skin. She didn’t tease or make fun, and instead only said, “See, I’m so proud of you–aren’t you glad you weren’t trying to wear silly grown up underwear? Isn’t this nicer than icky, cold pants and a huge stain to clean up?” He nodded, though his attention was split by sensation as she sprinkled baby powder between his legs, rubbing it in with her hand. Fingers stroked up his cock, massaging in the perfumed powder, and he felt tiny and blissful, eyes rolling back in his head. Michelle wadded up his old diaper and discarded it. Jamie didn’t see where, and he didn’t care, that wasn’t his problem to worry about. He expected a new pull-up, or maybe a new diaper, but instead, Michelle leaned over him again. “I need to do something before I put your diaper on,” she explained, hands on his thighs. “It’s important.” He nodded. “Mhmm.” He’d do it–but what was it? A hint of skepticism washed over him, dampening his arousal. Jamie hadn’t done this before, but he felt fairly certain that she should have put a fresh diaper on him immediately. “Roll over, and get on your hands and knees,” Michelle instructed. “Okay? Be good for me, and this will help you keep your grown-up thoughts.” That explained it–this wasn’t normal, it was to help him stay a grown up. Placated, Jamie did as he was told, eyes down on the bed as he raised his naked bottom into the air. Looking between his legs, he saw himself, confirming what he’d felt–his cock looked smaller than he remembered. In fact, his whole body seemed different–was he a little more slender at the waist? Had his hips swelled a bit, giving him more overt curves? He frowned, brow furrowing, trying to decide if the changes to his body were simply a trick of perspective. He normally saw himself in a mirror, not while kneeling, looking down at his half naked body. Before he could question it further, he felt the bed shift, one side pressing down as Michelle crawled onto the mattress behind him. He felt naked skin against his back, and Michelle’s fingers laced with his shaggy hair, pulling his head back so she could whisper in his ear. “A good, grown-up boy would let me use him,” she whispered. “However I want. Are you going to be good for me?” Jamie nodded diligently, but this felt wrong. He wanted–he needed something, but– Michelle anticipated his need and reached around his face, pressing his pacifier between his lips. He sucked down on the bulb, moaning in relief as he felt it calm him. Then, from behind, he felt pressure against his bottom–not the need to go, but instead a hard force, slick and firm, pushing inside him. Eyes widening, he looked down again, watching between his legs as Michelle pressed her hips against his thighs, pushing the strap-on into him, filling him up. He couldn’t help himself–he moaned, shuddering as she pulled back and thrust again, a little faster this time, sliding in and out of his bottom with an escalating rhythm. (Yes,) Jamie thought, as Michelle accelerated, pounding into him, one hand still laced in his hair. (Yes, I–I’m a good boy, I’ll do what M–m–) “Mmphhh…” he moaned, his own parts quivering, ready to burst from the pleasure as Michelle filled him, using him for herself, driving the strap-on into his G-spot over and over again. But, again, she knew his body better than he knew it himself, and before he could spurt onto her mattress, overwhelmed by the burning need to cum, she stopped, retreating, pulling out of him. “Such a good boy,” she purred. “There you go…” “Buh…” he stammered, pacifier dangling between his lips. “I…I wanna…” “You want to make me feel good now, right?” she finished, planting the words in his mouth and the thought in his brain. “To thank me for using you?” Helpless to think for himself, Jamie nodded–Michelle was right. “Then we should get you in your diaper, before you have a little accident,” Michelle cooed, shimmying out of the strap and setting it aside, along with her panties, leaving her as naked below the waist as he was. Jamie was as hard as he could be when he rolled onto his back–which wasn’t all that impressive, though Michelle didn’t seem to care about his diminishing manhood. She was clearly wet, dripping with arousal that seemed as intense as himself. That reassured him–he had to be mature, he had to be grown up, that’s why she was so interested. She had a diaper ready, though, and slid it under his hips, folding it… (Where did she get all this from? Did she already have it in here? Why…dhuuh…) His questioning thoughts were rendered into putty as she pushed the fresh diaper down over him. This was no pull-up, it was fluffy and snug, playful monkeys and jungle friends decorating the exterior. Feeling the thick, comforting padding press down over him, Jamie began to drool around his pacifier, mind sinking in a soup of pleasure. Two large tapes secured the diaper down, and Michelle ran her hand up the front one more time, satisfied in her handiwork. “Now,” she instructed, crawling up onto the bed, hooking a finger into the pacifier’s handle once again and pulling it free. “Are you going to be a good boy?” His nod came automatically. Of course. He was a good boy. She spread her legs, showing off her waiting sex. “Then show me how you use your mouth, and make me feel good.” Jamie required no further instruction. Crawling forward on the bed, freshly diapered bottom sashaying in the air as he approached, he dipped his head between her thighs and showed Michelle that he knew exactly how to demonstrate his maturity. She gasped as his tongue ran across her clit, and Jamie worked himself harder. She reached down, fingers lacing once again through his long, lush hair, and she pulled down–unnecessary, because Jamie had no thoughts of pulling away, but her need filled him with satisfaction more deep than he could remember. He wanted to make her feel good. He needed to make her feel good. She’d cared for him, she’d changed his diaper, she’d used his bottom and helped him, and now he could show her how much he cared for her in return. This was right. This was what he was for. Making M…m… “Yes,” Michelle gasped, back arched in ecstasy. “Use your diaper for me–show me how obedient you–” Her words trailed off as she rode into the beginnings an intense climax, but Jamie didn’t need to be prodded further. As soon as she’d said, ‘for me’, he’d strained to obey, scrunching up his face, grunting, pushing out the last dregs of his potty training to show his obedience. His bowels emptied, at first because he strained with effort, then because he could no longer stop them–his willful release turned to an uncontrollable wave, the seat of his diaper crinkling as it bulged to contain his fleeting maturity. As he felt the mush swell against his skin, packing into the diaper without a trace of control or shame, he felt an intense wave of pleasure wash down his body, and he clung to Michelle’s thighs for support. She screamed in satisfaction, and Jamie felt sheer bliss as he shuddered and groaned, forgetting himself, forgetting everything except for the ecstasy of his diaper, the comfort of Michelle’s touch, spurting at the mind-melting pleasure that came to him from his diaper. Sweaty, endorphins washing into the two of them, they collapsed into each other, exhausted in the way that only joy could bring. ... Audiobooks are a lot of work to make, and represent a huge investment of time and money - it's the kind of thing that's only really possible with a lot of community support. The kickstarter for The Baby Bet is starting to lag - I'd really like to see this this audiobook get made, and if you feel the same, please consider tossing in a contribution! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/peculiarchangeling/the-baby-bet-coming-to-audio

On second thought...perhaps they were getting squeezed for dough and payday was distant, so the only emergency money thing they could think of to do was to reverse the charges and get $60 back onto a piece of plastic. That's perfectly understandable and makes this event more forgiveable, but...they could have handled it better (i.e.; communicating with the site owner before the fact). And embarrassment is why they're avoiding responding to you.

Part 2 When I woke up the next morning my diaper was wet as usual and I just laid there. Mom came into my bedroom and asked me how I slept I told her though my sleepy fog I slept like a baby. “That’s because you are a baby my baby” she said. Mom put her finger in my diaper and told me I was wet and she would change me after I had breakfast. She picked me up and put me on her hip and we went into the kitchen. I was surprised to see my old high chair was next to the table. “Om ere did at com rom” I asked with my binkie in my mouth? “I took it out of the garage last night when you went to sleep” she said and she put me into it being still small I fit. She strapped me in then put the tray on with a click. She went to the counter she opened the draw and took out a bib and tied it around my neck. “Mom what are you doing I’m a big boy I don’t need this” I told her “and I don’t need to be feed anymore” I said after taking the binkie out of my mouth. She looked at me like she was hurt “you’re my baby boy and Mommy wants to feed you like I did when Daddy was here” she said with a sad face. I saw tears in her eyes and knew I had to do this for her. “Ok Mom” I said if that will make you happy” I said. “What will make me happy too is if you started calling me Mommy that is who I am” she said. “Ok Mommy” I whispered knowing something was wrong. “I made your favorite baby just like I did when you were a baby” and as she blew into a bowl she put it on the tray and sat down next to me. When I looked at it it was my favorite “Farina”. “Ok baby open up for the airplane so it can land in the hanger” she cooed. I opened wide and she started to feed me. It was warm and good and I enjoyed her feeding me like she use to. I smiled at her and she smiled back as she feed me the rest of the Farina. She took the empty bowl put it into the sink then she went into the refrigerator. "Would baby like milky or OJ” she asked? “OJ please Mom ... Mommy” I answered. She took the OJ out and poured it into a blue sippy cup with bugs on it that was on the counter. “Here you go my little baby boy” she said. I wonder what was wrong with my Mother. I lifted up the sippy cup and started drink it. “Good baby” she cooed and watched me with a big smile. When I finished she took the sippy cup and put it into the sink. “Ok let’s get my baby changed” she said. She took a wet dish towel and washed my face and hands and pulled the tray out and unstrapped me and picked me up and we went back to my room. She took a towel that was there from last night and put it on my bed then she laid me on my back. “Such a good little baby boy for Mommy yes he is” she cooed. She went to the bottom draw of my dresser and took out wipes, powder and a diaper and put them on the bed. My legs were at the end of the bed she leaned in between them kneeing on the floor and started to talk to me as if I was her baby again. “You’re going to be my baby again now that Daddy is gone do you want to be my baby boy again” she asked as she untapped the diaper? I didn’t want to I was a big boy but she was being so sweet to me and all I thought about were those boys from school making fun of me and bulling me making me feel bad about myself. I have to say I was enjoying the things she was doing to me the love she was showing me again now that I was older. “Yes Mommy I want to be your baby boy again now that Daddy is not around” I said. “Oh baby thank you” she said and gave me a kiss on my forehead. She reached under the clean diaper and took another binkie and slipped it in between my lips I started to suck on it feeling a lot less stressed. She untapped the wet diaper smiled at me then with one hand she took my ankles and lifted my legs up and slid the wet diaper from under me and let my legs down. Mommy took a few baby wipes and started to clean my diaper area. They were cold and I shivered a little. “Sorry baby Mommy will get a baby wipe warmer for you” she said as she cleaned me. Mommy was smiling then she giggled. I looked up at her with my binkie in my mouth as she wiped my peepee clean. She took the clean diaper and shook it out then took my ankles in her hand again and lifted me up. She slid the clean diaper under me and let my legs down. “You are my baby boy again” and started to sprinkle the power all over my diaper area and rubbed it in. “Does that feel good baby” she asked? "Es ommy" I said. I smiled behind my binkie as she pulled the diaper up between my legs and tapped it tight around my waist. “Good boy good boy” she cooed “such a good baby boy for his Mommy”. Mommy leaned in and started to blow bubbles into my belly button I started to giggle and kick my legs. She kept blowing raspberries into my belly and I made peepee in my clean diaper. When she stopped she kissed my forehead she said “Mommy loves you baby”. “I ove ou too ommy” I said with my binkie in my mouth. I sat up and she went to the dresser again and pulled out a shirt I saw it had the Cookie Monster on the front. “Arms up baby” she said. I did what she asked she put the shirt over my head and pulled it down and laid me back down. She reached under me and pulled the tail of the shirt down and snapped the snaps together. “All done baby now it is time to go play and watch TV” she said and picked me up put me on her hip and walked into the living room where the TV was already on and Tom and Jerry were on and they were chasing each other. “You be a good boy and watch TV while Mommy does the dishes” she said as she lowered me onto the floor. I watched and giggled sucking on my binkie. It was my favorite cartoon so I watch and giggled. I don’t know how long I watched TV but after awhile Mommy came back into the livingroom with a plate of cookies. “I thought baby would like a cookie” she said. I was already sitting so I crawled to the coffee table and Mommy giggles and sighed. I took my binkie out of my mouth and started to watch TV again giggling like I was a baby eating his cookie. After my second cookie Mommy picked me up and sat me in her lap. “Is baby thirsty” she asked? “Yes Mommy” I answered. Mommy pulled me into her arms and held me tight. She took a baby bottle out of the pocket of her apron and slipped it in between my lips. I didn’t realize what it was because I was still watching TV. Mommy started to rock us back and forth while humming a tune. I looked up at her and she said “shhh you like your baba” she asked? I relaxed and smiled at her while I drank the milk from my baba. She smiled back and started to rock us back and forth with me in her arms. When the baba was empty she continued to rock us back and forth I started to close my eyes and go to sleep. I felt her moving but did not open my eyes. She put something to my lips I thought it was my binkie so I opened my mouth and started to suck on it. I heard Mommy moan so I opened my eyes to see I was suckling on her nipple. I tried to move but she was to strong for me she held me close with her hand on the back of my head. “Shhh” she whispered. “You loved this when you were a baby and so did Mommy suckle from Mommy be the baby Mommy and you want to be”. I struggled to get up but Mommy held me tight. Her nipple was warm as I continued to suckle on her getting comfortable in her arms. I remember doing this when I was a baby and continued to suckle like a new born. Mommy moaned and rocked us back and forth. “Such a good baby suckle baby Alan suckle like you use too” she whispered in my ear “you are making me so happy baby”. I felt her move again and I started to suck on her other nipple. I was content I started to close my eyes. I felt her hold the back of my head to her nipple and fell asleep in her arms. When I opened my eyes it was getting dark I must have been sleeping for awhile. I got out of bed and walked down stairs where I heard Mommy talking to someone on the phone. I listened and realized she was talking to Sara my older sister at college. I walked in she picked me up and sat me on her lap. “Want to talk to your baby brother” she asked? Mom took my binkie out of my mouth and I was handed the phone and started to talk. “Hi sis how is college” I asked? She told me it was Ok that some of the subjects were a little hard but she was getting along great. Mom sat me on the couch “Mommy’s going to make dinner talk to your sister for a while longer” she said and left. “Sara something is wrong Mom she is treating me like her baby again”. “What do you mean” she asked? “Right now I am talking to you with a Cookie Monster tee shirt with snaps in between my legs wearing a diaper she is treating me like her baby boy again” I answered. “That’s strange” she said. “I have no idea what to do”. “I have to go back to school Monday what am I going to do if she puts me in a diaper and not a pull up” I asked? “Do you know what those boys will do to me if they find out I’m in a diaper and not a pull up I get bullied just with the pull up on”. “I’ll talk to Grandma and ask her what you should do Ok” she said? We talked for a few more minutes then Mom called that din din was ready. We hung up and I went to the kitchen. The high chair was still by the table and she put me in it and strapped me in and snapped the tray closed. Mom put a plate of chicken fingers and ketchup on the tray so I started to feed myself. “Tomorrow is Sunday maybe we can go to the park and we can have a picnic” she said. “The park oh no” I said to myself then everyone will see me dressed as a baby. I finished my dinner and Mom took her plate and mine and put them in the sink. She then walked over to the refrigerator and poured milk into a bottle. She put it into her apron pocket then came over washed my face and hands and took me out of the high chair and put me on her hip and she sat us down on the couch. She sat down and put me into her arms like a baby and gave me the bottle. Mom put the nipple in between my lips and started to cooed to me as she rocked up back and forth. Just then the phone rang Mom held the receiver with her shoulder to her ear while she feed me the baba. “Oh hi Mom how you doing” she asked? I could only hear one part of the conversation. “Yes he is wearing diapers full time now he wets to bad to be in just a pull up”. “No if he needs them what’s the difference” she asked? “No Mom I’m not hurting him he said he wants to be my baby again”. “We are going to the park tomorrow would you like to come with us” Mom asked? “Ok Mom we will see you tomorrow” Mom said and hung up. When the bottle was empty she turned me around on her shoulder and patted my back. I couldn’t help it and burped. She giggled and told me I was a good boy. “Time for bed e bye” she said. “But Mommy it is still light out “I’m a big boy” I said as she held me in her arms like I was a two year old. “Babies need their sleep so they can get big and strong like their Daddy’s”. “I hoped my baby boy enjoyed his day as Mommy’s baby” she said. She cuddled me in her arms patting my diaper. “You are so cute I love taking care of you like I did when Daddy was alive” she said and kissed me on my forehead. Mom slid the covers down on my bed and laid me down. She slipped a finger into my diaper to check to see if I was wet. She pulled the covers up and tucked me in. “This will never do” she said “I thing I need to get something else from the garage”. She kissed me on the forehead turned the light out she left the door open a crack and left. I laid there in a diaper with a binkie in my mouth wondering what was wrong with my Mom. Hopefully Grandma will get to the bottom of what is going on with Mom and make her start treating me like an 8 year old and not a 2 year old. I slowly closed my eyes and went to sleep. Some noise woke me up a few times during the night but I went back to sleep. In the morning I woke up wet with my binkie in my mouth. I stretched a little to find there was a brown bear in my arms. I recognized him he was my buddy from when I was younger. “Fred”. I played with him all the time never let him be alone when I was younger. I looked at him and asked? “What are you doing here”? Just then the door opened. “Are you talking to your buddy Fred” Mom asked? I blushed and dropped him on the floor. “No I’m 8 I haven’t played with him in years” I said raising my voice. “That wasn’t very nice” Mom said she picked Fred up and gave him back to me. I took him and threw him across my room very embarrassed. “BABY what did baby do” she asked with an angry voice? I took the binkie out of my mouth and through it too. “Mom I’m 8 not a baby why are you doing this to me” I asked? “Because I miss your Daddy and I want to take care of you again” she said tears in her eyes. I felt bad but I was upset to be treated like this. “You’re my baby now whether you like it or not and I will not have you talking to me like this” she said angry. She rushed over to me she sat on my bed and pulled me over her lap. She unsnapped the shirt pushed it up pushed my wet diaper down. “Mom what the hell are you doing” I asked struggling to get free but she held me down over her lap like a toddler. “Bad baby” she said and her hand came down on my ass and she spanked me 2 or 3 times. “Mom stop please stop” I yelled tears in my eyes. “Don’t ever talk to me like that again and 3 more spanks hit my naked bottom. I started to cry “Mom … Mommy stop please you’re hurting me” I cried. I had no idea what was going on with my mother. She stopped in between one spank after she heard she was hurting me. Mom pulled me up and hugged me tight and rubbed my bottom. “Oh baby all I wanted to do is to have my baby back I want someone to take care of again” she said. She held me tight and hugged me as she rubbed my sore bottom. Then like a light switch she changed she started to take my shirt off she laid me down on my bed and removed my wet diaper and started to coo to me. “MY baby no one can change that” she said. “I’m your Mommy she will take good care of you even if Daddy is not around”. She took some wipes and cleaned my diaper area. Then she pushed my legs back and put some cream on my red hinny. She slipped a diaper under me then let my legs down. She powdered me and pulled a clean diaper up between my legs like nothing happened. “You’re my good little baby boy and Mommy loves you” she said. She reached into her apron and took out a binkie she slipped it in between my lips. I started to suck on it wondering what was wrong with my Mother. Mom walked to the other side of my room she picked up Fred and put him in my arms I cuddled it and smiled at her. She smiled back and told me breakfast would be ready in a few minutes and to come down to eat. I waited until my heart rate went down got out of bed and went to the kitchen I had Fred in my hand. I don’t know why but I did. “Mom” I said when I went into the kitchen. She looked at me and I said “Mommy are you Ok”? “Yes baby come to Mommy” she said and put her arms out to me. I waddled over to her she picked me up hugged me tight then put me in the high chair. With Fred sitting in my lap she smiled at me and kissed my forehead and she went back to the stove. A plate was put on the tray she sat down. She took some scrambled eggs put them on a baby spoon and said “open up here comes the choo choo”. I did as she said and she feed me. “All gone“ Mom said got up and went to the refrigerator took out a bottle and put it in her pocket. She helped us Fred and me out of the high chair put us on her hip and we went into the livingroom. Mommy laid on the couch she put me in her arms and took the bottle and slipped the nipple between my lips. I started to suck the OJ out and closed my eyes Fred was in my arm. “Such a good little baby boy I love you baby Alan I would never do anything to hurt you I hope you will do the same for me” she said and kissed my forehead. I didn’t know what to think the spanking hurt but she wasn’t or is not herself. Grandma is coming today so maybe she can find out what is going on with Mommy. I decide to do whatever she wanted not to get another spanking and be her baby boy again until Grandma came. Mommy looked down at me she smiled as I sucked from my baba and be a good baby for her. “Such a cutie what a good baby for his Mommy” she cooed. When the bottle was empty she put me over her shoulder and burped me. I lay back in her arms she ran her fingers though my hair then she moved Fred she put him next to her. Then she pulled her dress down took the back of my head and guided my lips to her nipple. I latched on and started to suckle on her nipple while Fred watched me. “You see Fred baby Alan is still my baby he loves to suckle from his Mommy like he did when he was first born” she whispered to Fred. I looked at Fred and smiled while I enjoyed being a new born but there was no milky to drink. A knock on the door brought Mom to her senses she pulled her nipple out from my lips with a pop and started to pull her dress up just as Grandma entered the house. Grandma closed the door and looked at Mommy. “Alice what in the world are you doing” she asked seeing me in her arms holding me like a new born? “Mom I didn’t know you were coming so early” Mom said. “Will it looks like your having a good time at Alan’s expense what are you doing” she asked? “Mom I want my baby back I want to take care of him I want to love him as my baby” she said tearing up. “Shhh it’s Ok sweetie have you been taking your pills” Agnes (Grandma) asked? “No Mom they upset my belly” Mom said. “Are you Ok Alan” she asked me? “Yes Grandma I’m fine” I said with a smile on my face. “You do look adorable dressed in a diaper and a cute omnie” she said. “You know your Mother had a break down she isn’t taking the pill the doctor prescribed I’m sorry you had to go thought all this but your mother is having a hard time”. “I understand Grandma but … she didn’t hurt me and it feels nice she is taking care of me again” I said. “You’re enjoying your Mommy taking care of you like this” she asked? “Everything except the spanking she gave me this morning”. “Alice you spanked your baby this morning” Grandma asked her daughter? “What did he do” she asked? “He threw Fred and his binkie across the room and didn’t talk to me as his Mommy” she said. Grandma took me from my mother I think she noticed that Moms dress was a little open and her nipple was not covered. Grandma held me in her arms I wrapped my legs around her and put my head on her shoulder. She rocked me back and forth and patted my bottom. “Are you Ok baby” she asked as she kissed me on the nose. I put my head back on her shoulder and she held me tight. Mom got up isn’t he cute Mom” Mom asked? “Yes he is but I think we need to talk to your doctor to see what he needs to do to help you” she said to Mom. “No” Mom said “we need to baby him so we can take care of him like we did before” Mom said to Grandma. Grandma was rocking us back and forth I started to close my eyes and fell asleep in Grandma’s arms.

Chapter Thirty Five Amanda looked at her clock. About an hour until she had a guest, and somehow John was still awake. Usually he’s fallen over by now, but since lunch he was so wired he climbed on the couch, climbed down and ran around it with Xerxes following him. He drew for a few minutes and then got back up. Being mostly caught up work, with only an hour or so of work left to finish later, she stopped and pondered how to get him slowed down long enough for the sleepiness to take over without blatantly just putting him in the playpen. After a moment the idea came to her, so she tapped her computer to put into standby and went to gather her supplies. Bottle of a specific lotion. Shower cap. Gloves. Shower turned on. She was ready. Stepping out of the bathroom, she watched as John crawled around the corner of the couch and used the side of the couch to get back onto his feed and waddle away from Xerxes, towing a toy behind him. He definitely grumbled about the fact that once the rough pup diapers got the slightest bit wet he waddled, and when they got partly full he was reduced to crawling. But she had to admit it, he was rough on them and they never tore once. Waiting for John to waddle into range, she reached out and snatched him up. She got him against her up with a squish and hugged him “I know someone that’s getting a quick shower.” He grumped at her a bit about being stopped, but it was obvious to her that he was almost out of steam. Maybe he kept moving so he wouldn’t feel it. Either way, it was about to be solved by some relaxing warm water. Standing him up and kneeling down, she was able to undo the locking snaps on his onesie. Press up, twist halfway, pull, twist the rest of the way and pull while tilting it back away from the direction that it would get pulled if it got snagged. Or if little hands were trying to remove it. It was the most normal locking snap, meant to keep them from just getting tugged off while littles were playing. It also made sense to Amanda that some more regressed littles would try to take their clothes off even if it was cold, so that just seemed all too practical. With just a moment of effort, his onesie was off, his diaper was off and she was able to give him a quick pass with a wipe, and she could see that the cream she used in her diaper area had definitely gotten rid of all the hair. But the rash that wet hair had caused was just barely there. Swinging her charge up and into the bath tub she gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and started explaining. He always seemed calmer if he halfway understood what was going on. “Okay John, do you remember us talking about you getting a bit scruffy?” He nodded “Yes…” “Well, first we’re going to wash your hair and then put a shower cap on you. Then I’m going to use this cream to knock that facial hair off, and that will take care of that, okay?” She watched him nod uncertainly and then she got to work shampooing his hair that was some how halfway oily again anyway. It was rewarding how he closed his eyes and enjoyed the scalp massage. Once he was shampooed and rinsed, she held up the shower cap and explained “I just need you to stand still for a moment. This will protect your hair and eyebrows so we don’t have to worry about any splashing, okay?” He looked a bit nervous as he nodded but she went ahead and put the shower cap onto him, and then dried her hands before putting on her thick gloves. Now it was time to be careful. She took a moment to make sure that his eyes and ears and even the back of his neck was covered up before using a fingertip to smear the paste onto his face, up under (but not into) his nose and all the way down to his neck and chest. Thankfully the nanite paste had no smell at all. Since he was cooperating and being a very good boy, she was able to wash her gloved hands off, and rinse his face off slowly with a cup of water. Just to be certain, she rinsed him a coupe of extra times. And now for the rest of him, she took an old rag that was about to be tossed and used it to rub him down all over with the same paste from the neck down. Since she wasn’t worried about messing up and having an accident, it didn’t even take a minute before she was washing him off thoroughly. After taking her gloves off and throwing them away with the rag, she went ahead and popped the now empty tube into the trash with the gloves. It’s amazing how you could buy a tube sized exactly to do one whole little, and it was honestly very inexpensive, too. Now it was time to lather him up for real and give him a good scrubbing down! The rest of the shower was uneventful, and the warm water worked wonders, as he was starting to sway back and forth trying to stay upright. As she got him up and wrapped in her fluffiest towel, she stepped out of the bathroom with him just in time to see a shadow moving through the window. Apparently she had gotten a later start on this than she expected, and her visitor was here. Before they would knock on the door and wake up her son, she half-dashed while keeping her upper body still to reach over and open the door. She was greeted by a formally dressed woman about her own height, which was on the short end of the spectrum for her people. The woman looked to be in her forties and dressed in a very casual pair of slacks and presentable cool blue blouse. Everything about this woman, including her demeanor seemed to exude calm and collected. Even her light brown hair, which most professionals wore up, was brushed out long and presented half in the back and half over one shoulder with not so much as a wrinkle or split end to be seen. Amanda waved silently in greeting and pointed to the now sleeping little on her shoulder. The woman nodded immediately in understanding. Waving the visitor inside, she gestured her to the counter where she always met with guests and had coffee. Only once she was seated and seemed comfortable did Amanda turn and walk as smoothly as she could manage to the her sons room. Pivoting him slowly onto the changing table, she unwrapped the towel from around him and gave him a quick once over. The nanites in the paste had done their job admirably, and he was smooth as a baby. When his body hair grew back it would likely be a gentle fuzz, and not something thick or unsanitary. He slept through her putting a rough pup onto him. He was still out when she put a fresh onesie on him. And he was completely limp when she laid him in the crib and pulled a blanket over him. She knew she would find him laying comically butt up on his big pillow later, but for now he was just an adorable sleeping blessing. She pulled out her phone and took a picture to prove that he could be still, before sliding the rail back up and turning out the light. As she started out of the door she was confronted by Xerxes, who was sitting up and staring at her. She had to lean down to whisper to the dog “Go lay down next to his crib.” Xerxes did not move. He obviously wanted his little. So with a sigh she grabbed his doggy bed and carried it into the room, putting it next to the crib. The dog looked indignant, but eventually gave up and sat on his bed looking into the crib. Stepping out of the room and pulling the door semi closed behind her, she pushed the child gate on the bathroom closed and flicked the towel into the hamper through the open laundry room door on her way to greet her visitor. Holding out her hand, she was greeted with a gentle handshake. “Hello, I’m Amanda Taylor. I’m pleased to meet you.” With a nod back “I’m Carol Scientia, pleased to meet you as well.” With a polite smile, Amanda motioned “I usually have a cup of coffee around this time of the day, and if you would like a cup, coffee is better when shared.” The woman nodded thoughtfully “I would happily share coffee with you.” Taking a moment to pop the seal on the vacuum container that she used to keep her coffee fresh on the counter, she quickly got a pot of coffee brewing and then dutifully resealed it. Turning back to Carol, she waved “I have a variety of coffee cups, if you would like to pick your own. Or if you would like, I could just grab one of my favorites.” Now with a smirk, Carol said “You know, I’m interested to see which one of them is your favorite.” With a nod, she reached out and pulled her two favorite mugs off of the cup hooks and sat them down on the counter. One was a sky blue with wisps of white that reminded her of looking up at the sky on a foggy morning as the sun comes up and starts to chase away the fog. And the other was an earthy brown with swirls of light green that reminded her of a freshly tilled garden, ready to be planted. Neither one was fancy. The handles were just the right size, the bottom was slightly rounded and comfortable to hold from the bottom. Filling both cups with black coffee, Amanda sat them down on the counter between her and Carol and motioned “Take your pick, these are my two favorites.” Carol nodded as she took the blue one, saying “Thank you very much. I find myself drawn to the blue one, so that is the one I will take.” After they had a few sips of coffee, Carol spoke up again “You have a very nice house. It’s just the right size. What drove you to move so far out of town?” Amanda took another sip as she thought of the best way to answer. Finally she spoke “I know that a lot of people like to live in tight little neighborhoods and keep everything identical, and that’s fine if they want to do that. I just don’t … fit that mold. I can’t have a garden in a suburb. I can’t ignore my yard for a couple of days if I’m backed up a bit on work. Everyone around you is constantly pressuring you to conform to their ideals of your life. If … I guess if that makes sense?” Carol simply nodded along in understanding as Amanda spoke and when she stopped, Carol simply pointed to the three rows of mugs hanging under the counter from cup hooks. She spoke “Much like your coffee mugs there. Not being all identical is not a bad thing. Sometimes the uniqueness makes us more complete as a whole. And just the same, there are all types of people. If I may ask, how do you like your garden?” Now Amanda smiled “I love my garden. Now that I have John in my life I may need to save up a bit and move the fence back and then move the whole garden back next year so that he has more room to play. As much as he tries to spend all of his time outdoors, it may do to get him a nice playhouse. Maybe one of those with the solar panels to power some fans on the inside, since it get humid here in the summer.” Carol smiled “That’s more of a what you want to do with your garden than it is how you feel about it. It sounds like your garden is a big part of your life that you are willing to, literally in this case, move back to make room for someone in your life.” With a little laugh, Amanda nodded in agreement “I think that you might be right. I wasn’t lonely before, but now I already don’t think I could live without my son in my life.” Yet another smile in response, until the look on her face changed “Tell me, do you ever have any trouble with wildlife in your garden?” Cautiously, Amanda asked back “Do you mean like birds and squirrels?” After a very short pause, the response came “I mean those things, as well as foxes and snakes. Just any wildlife in general.” “Well, with the smell of Xerxes here, foxes have never dared come anywhere near the house. I do get the occasional garden snake. They’re non venomous, so I just get my gloves and grab them and carry them off to the treeline to set them free.” “Have you ever had any venomous snakes?” Now with a sigh, Amanda admitted “Only once.” “And how did you handle it?” “Well … it was rearing up at Xerxes, so I grabbed the shovel and … I’m sad to say that I had to make the decision to kill it. I felt bad about it, so I buried it out front and planted a white Azalea bush over it as my way of apologizing to it.” There was a pause while Carol left her to have her thoughts before she spoke up again “You know, from the report I was given, and what you’ve said so far, you strike me as a very model Big in some ways, and a bit rebellious in others.” Unable to hold in a bit of a laugh, Amanda asked “Okay. I can’t resist asking: How so?” After calmly finishing her sip of coffee, the visitor explained “You act to protect first and foremost. You value nature, you value life, and I’m willing to bet that you don’t want to mess up the forest around you, as you’d rather live in the middle of it, and not make it conform to your ideals.” Amanda nodded “I suppose that is all pretty accurate. And as for the rebellious side?” “Well” she paused to take a sip. “Where most people would just conform to what their neighbors expected of them and blend in to avoid standing out, which I’m certain that you tried to do, you decided that life was not for you, and you changed everything about your life that you needed to in order to get away from it and live more like you wanted.” Trying to take a sip of her coffee was a mistake as she choked on it a little as Carol ended her statement. That took a moment of coughing to get over. Covering her mouth as she finished coughing, she mumbled “My son is rubbing off on me.” Now even the incredibly calm seeming Carol joined in the chuckling “Littles do tend to bring out the best in us in some ways, and try our patience in others.” “Amen.” Exclaimed Amanda and they even raised mugs and clinked them together. After another sip, Amanda spoke this time, saying “Do you know what the giveaway is that a neighborhood is going to be super oppressive, from my point of view?” Now looking intrigued, Carol leaned in with a smirk and asked “Oh? Do tell, I’m always looking for more ways to understand patients.” Amanda held up one finger and answered simply “The mail boxes.” That gave Carol a moment of pause before she asked “Okay, what is it about the mailboxes?” Smiling now, Amanda explained “If all of the mail boxes are ornate and every single one of them is completely identical in every way, then that neighborhood is usually the kind where someone will yell at their neighbors about anything end everything, from how they park, to if their mulch is faded, if they plant a bush without clearing it with everyone else first, even if their driveway is dirty. Next time you drive through an unfamiliar neighborhood, look at the mailboxes.” For her part, Carol listened intently, nodding along, and finally agreed “You know, that is a bit reductive in a way, but I can only think of examples that prove your point. My Mother moved into a neighborhood like that and let’s just say that I got my masters by studying and writing about the people in the neighborhood around my Mother.” Waving a hand, Amanda explained “Oh, I’m certain that there are exceptions. But when I was trying to find a new place to live, that became my red flag before I found this place and fell in love with it.” Another moment and a couple of sips of coffee later, Amanda got up and brought the carafe over and refilled both of their cups. After putting the carafe back in place she said “Please let me know if you would like any water to drink as well.” With a nod Carol took her mug again before explaining “So I suppose you’re patiently waiting for me to ‘get to the point’ as it were?” Amanda shrugged a bit “I’m not going to rush you or anything, I figure that the small talk was polite conversation, and I don’t mind it. But if you’re ready, we can change the topic.” Carol reached over and placed her hand onto Amanda’s own and said softly “I was sent out to check on you because you seemed pretty shaken up last night. Which is very reasonable.” All that Amanda could really do in this situation was nod, trying not to dwell on the events that left her crying all night long. “Well.” Carol explained “The best possible news is that the little girl that you saved woke up two hours ago. She doesn’t know where she is and she doesn’t remember how she got to where she was, but she remembers being carried and someones voice telling her to wake up.” Finally she realized that she had been holding her breath when she exhaled and slumped against the counter in front of her, mumbling “Thank the Goddess.” For her part, Carol did not seem to say anything, she waited patiently for Amanda to take a few deep breaths and sit back up before continuing. “Now that she is awake, the LPS has assigned a case worker and she is in an LICU unit. She’s going to be very well taken care of and they’ll get her healed up. A Child Psychologist will be visiting with her, and she will be placed in a loving home.” It took a bit longer to process than Amanda was willing to admit, but the end result was still a relief. Seemingly that relief must have started to show on her face. Speaking now, Carol did not interrupt her until the end of her moment of reflection. “So you made quite an impression with Agent Praefectus, and the paramedics. There is a bit of a push to offer you a cash reward for your assistance. It wouldn’t be a huge number, but the higher ups over Agent Preafectus want you to be willing to cooperate in the future for a few things.” Immediately Amanda held up a hand “I refuse to take any money for that. Period.” Smiling now, Carol looked the image of pride as she explained “I already told them that you would likely refuse. But I know them so they are very likely to send out a contractor to try and talk you into an improvement to your driveway and maybe a walking path at the very edge of your property line, at the very least.” Frowning a bit, Amanda argued “I can maintain these things. There’s no need for that, really.” Now Carol seemed to actively choose to give a nonchalant shrug as she explained “I am here to help you adjust and make sure you are doing well after a traumatic event. You seem like the type that would prefer to know in advance. Arguing with them directly is your job.” Nodding appreciatively, Amanda admitted “Yes, I do appreciate that.” After a long quiet moment sitting together. After finishing her second cup of coffee, Amanda admitted out loud “You know, I thought this would be more stressful and it would turn into some sort of session? Looking up from her own mug, Carol commented with a straight face “You’ve been answering questions and reflecting on things for an hour now.” That gave Amanda a moment of pause while she thought. “Now” Carol interrupted her thoughts “It seems like you’ve had time to talk about the events from last night with someone and spent the night with them being there for you?” Amanda nodded along. “Have you noticed suddenly feeling over the top as far as being protective of your son today?” “Well … A bit, yes. I think I’ve kept it mostly under control though.” Carol nodded along “Why don’t we talk for a bit longer, let this process, and you can tell me how this has affected your internal dialogue.” Amanda sighed a bit “Okay, so that’s probably going to be a bit harder.” ~~~~~~~ An hour and a half John woke up in his crib, and not snuggling with his dog. He had that feeling that he got when he slept either too much or not enough and even flopping onto his giant pillow, which usually worked wonders, could relieve his temporary grumpiness.

Chapter 3 A speaker toddled down one of the many similar hallways at the Quiet Cathedral. Though this speaker knew exactly where she was going and moved through the maze of a facility like it was second nature. This speaker's outfit was exceptionally childish: a soft yellow romper with pink frills on the but and an exceptionally thick diaper and plastic pants enforcing her waddle. With a smile behind the pacifier in her mouth and with a stuffed rabbit clenched to her chest she knocked on one of the doors. This door, like many of the doors to the speaker’s rooms, was decorated on the outside by its occupant. This door was unique and that it seemed to play into the baby aesthetic, dotted with some crayon drawn pictures and stickers of unicorns and fairies. The centerpiece was a piece of paper with “AYA” written on it and decorated with hand drawn hearts, stars, and one pony. This speaker waited by the door expectantly, after a few moments the smile on her face vanished for a concerned look as she knocked again. Again she got no response. “I thought I’d find you here Bala,” the speaker jumped as her listener approached behind her. “Where’s Aya?” Bala asked, concerned. “Oh she’s gone out on a PR run with the new speaker Ai,” the listener explained casually. “She what?” Bala’s stomach suddenly fell and her mood darkened. “No she can’t. It’ll ruin everything. They can’t …” Bala stammered struggling to form words. “Bala, just because Aya is hanging out with someone else doesn't mean she’s going to stop being your friend. In fact, giving you two a break from each other is probably the best thing for both of you.” “No you don’t understand,” Bala’s voice raised slightly. “She’ll break it all down and ruin it.” Bala looked at her speaker and realized from the expression on her face that she really didn’t understand. Trying to explain what the actual problem was to anyone would be pointless. “Come on let’s head to the playroom,” Bala’s speaker offered. “I think spending time with the other speakers will be good for you.” Bala remained silent, lost in her sudden anxiety and let her speaker lead her over to the playroom. Bala wasn’t really in the mood for it though. She found herself having a feeling that she absolutely hated. She didn’t want to be little. Her romper stuck to her and her diaper was stifling and she just wanted out of the whole thing. She had too much on her mind. *** Ai Sinclair stood somewhat nervously at the end of a long hallway. A line of people were patiently waiting to see her, and had been for most of the day. For the first time in a long time she was wearing a modest and mature dress, though she could feel the diaper hidden underneath the skirt, and she could hear it subtly crinkle every time she moved. A man shuffled up the small partition that separated Ai and the speaker next to her from the crowd. “Thank you,” he said piously. “My family wouldn’t have power or running water without the answers from Cas Lo Cho Thoth.” “It’s my pleasure,” Ai smiled and nodded awkwardly though the man didn’t seem to notice as he shuffled away with a smile. Ai had been at this all day, hearing thanks from people not unlike the man that just shuffled away. Thanks for giving them food. Thanks for money. Thanks for the freedom to love and be who they want. Everyone was met with a smile, a small greeting, and then sent along. Apparently this was all they wanted with her as Ai had seen nothing but smiling faces, despite how uncomfortable she felt. If the silent encouragement from the speaker next to her was anything to go by, she was doing what she was supposed to do. This other speaker was basically doing the same thing. It was weird for Ai to accept these thanks; she didn’t have anything to do with those revelations. She couldn’t even talk to Daddy. She didn’t want to explain the truth of things and break their hearts though. It was this truth of things that also weighed on her. The congregation treated her as a religious icon, something solemn and holy, but she knew that the reality was vastly different. As soon as she was done here, she would go back to the facility, be dressed in her cute onesie, and sent off to be continually regressed. The general public had no clue how the speakers answered their questions. If they did, they would either lose all of their respect for the system or they would attempt to recreate it and fill the world with their fake “answers”. Ai felt guilty for her part in presenting this image of a holy figure when she knew it was partly a lie. Ai glanced nervously behind her, where Maria and the other speaker’s listener kept a close eye on things. She met eyes with Maria, who gave an encouraging smile in return. Coming out to this thing had been Maria’s idea: She’d thought that seeing the general public’s gratitude would help Ai connect with Daddy. Ai wasn’t sure if this was really helping. Sure, it was a reminder of how important her job was, but she didn’t think it would help her connect with Daddy at all. Still, it was nice getting a break from the constant barrage of regression back at the Quiet Cathedral, even if it was spent standing around shaking hands with strangers. She would have to thank Maria for it later. “I’m sorry, folks,” Maria cut in the line of people. “But I think our speakers may be done for today.” There were some murmurs of disappointment from the crowd, and Ai and the other speaker shot their best sympathetic glances. “We’ll have to close for today.” The other listener hastily ushered the two speakers along to a back room while Maria ushered the crowd out of the building. Once they were far enough away, the listener spoke up. “How are your diapers, little ones?” she asked sweetly. “You need a change, Ai? Aya?” “I can wait,” Aya said plainly. Ai just blushed. “I’ll check again before we leave,” she motioned to leave the room. “Stay out of trouble while we close up.” The two speakers silently nodded as she left. “I’m Aya by the way,” she said, shaking Ai’s hand. “It’s very nice to finally meet you.” “I’m surprised we’ve missed each other this long,” Ai responded. “I thought I had met everyone.” “Yeah, well,” Aya sighed. “Bala has been a little weird lately, very clingy.” “I don’t think I’ve met her either.” “You might not want to at the moment,” Aya said with a wince. “I took this little PR trip just to get out of the facility and get some time away from her. I’m glad you came along too; It gives us a chance to finally talk.” “Well, how did I do?” Ai asked, referring to the meet and greet they’d just had. “You did great!” Aya smiled. “Just what you are supposed to do. Smile and nod. Seems dismissive, but it gives people hope, you know.” “Yeah, I guess,” Ai sighed a little. “I just. I dunno. How do you deal with, like, keeping the truth from everyone? Standing out there for all those people with a diaper under our dress, and knowing we’re gonna get put back into onesies and mess ourselves when we get back.” “I dunno really,” Aya grimaced a bit. “I’ve sort of always had to deal with that.” “What do you mean?” Ai asked. “Well, you know Bala and I were the first two speakers,” Aya said with a hint of pride. Ai was appropriately awed. “Wow, that's so cool!” Ai was intrigued “Yeah, well we were sort of into the whole baby thing before all this blew up.” “Into it?” “Yeah, it’s called ABDL. Kind of a fetish, kind of not,” Aya blushed a little. “Point I’m making here is: I kind of always had to deal with being an adult and being serious with a diaper under my dress, and then going home to mess myself later,” she blushed again. “All that is to say that I can’t really help you there, I’ve just gotten used to it.” “That’s fine,” Ai said, completely forgetting what she said before. “But you and Bala were the first speakers?” Ai sat down in a chair in the room. “I gotta know. How did that happen?” “Well,” Aya blushed a bit. “The actual story of how it all happened is pretty simple. You know we both uhh …” Aya was a little flushed giving the explanation. “We both played all the time. You know, got cute, wore diapers and onesies and stuff. While we were playing, Bala thought that our babbling was a little weird, and she was right.” Aya shrugged. “So, Bala just knew it was deep speak?” “Not exactly. She knew it was weird. You’ve heard deep speak I assume? It’s definitely not something you would just come up with for fun. She thought it was weird and looked into it, then one thing led to another.” “You can’t just ‘one thing led to another’ your way into Thotheanism,” Ai said skeptically. “You can when Daddy is pushing you along in the right direction,” “I guess so,” Ai’s skepticism broke through in her tone. “How long did all of this take?” “Probably like a year or so,” Aya’s finger rested on her lip in thought. “Just a year?” Ai frowned. “You don’t find that a little too … easy?” “I never thought about it like that. You have to remember though, Daddy was helping us the whole time. Things tend to fall into place when he’s helping.” “I guess,” Ai felt weird about this. She was expecting some grander narrative. The reality was just so plain and basic. Aya had a point though. When you have the answers to everything at the ready, things would move along faster than you’d expect. It wasn’t a very satisfying answer, but it did give Ai an idea to solve her problem. “Maybe you can help me though, since you’re the original, and you were into all of this before coming here.” “I heard you’d been having some trouble talking to Daddy,” Aya sat down next to Ai, guessing what she was about to ask. “Yeah, I just,” Ai paused and sighed. “I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what’s missing.” “Maybe you’re trying too hard,” Aya offered. Ai returned a grumpy look. “Yeah, I know, but hear me out here. Littlespace is an escape. It’s a zen thing. You put away your adult worries to be your real self. To just stop and play and enjoy that small moment. So, trying too hard might not be getting you in the zen space.” “Because it is hard,” Ai complained. “The whole thing is dumb. I’m supposed to be zen and calm, but there’s so much pressure. And the more I don’t get it, the more they make me a baby.” “That’s just how it works,” Aya said sympathetically. “Bala is the one that answers everything about that. About how we’re supposed to be treated and how to get us into littlespace. We get what we have to do straight from Daddy.” “Yeah but why?” Ai cut in in frustration. “Why is this the way we have to do things? Is there not some better way?” “That’s just how it is. It’s how Daddy works. It’s how we answer questions.” “I just,” Ai huffed. “I dunno. I just can’t accept that. Maybe that’s my problem.” Aya looked over to Ai sympathetically. “I hate that,” Aya said, standing up from her seat and pacing a bit. “Forcing the other speakers to be little. Littleness is supposed to be a good thing. It is for me, but it’s not always good for everyone else. I’ve always felt bad for the other speakers that things had to be this way. Aya had turned to face Ai. “I’m really sorry, Ai.” Ai was silent for a moment then looked away nervously. “It’s not your fault,” Ai sighed in defeat. “I just wish there was something I could do. I don’t know why it has to be this way. Why we have to do things like this.” “Well, we could always ask Daddy,” Aya said with sudden hopefulness. “Asking Daddy is the whole problem though. I can’t.” “You don’t need to,” Aya countered positively. “But they must have already asked someone,” Ai waved her hand. “And they gave their answer. Keep making me more and more baby until it works, but it’s just not working.” “Well maybe someone else can get you a better answer,” Aya reasoned. “Can they?” Ai challenged. “I mean we’re all talking to the same Daddy right?” “We are, but nothing is that simple,” Aya explained. “Just like when you talk to other people, you can ask questions in a way that predisposes them to a certain answer. Sometimes, the person answering can have a certain bias. All I’m saying is: it may be worth it to ask someone else about you.” “Can you do that?” “Well, not officially,” Aya admitted. “But we work together with our listeners, to make people’s lives better. We’re like partners. I’m sure I can get Marquis to ask some questions about you while I’m in little space.” “Really?” Ai said in disbelief. “I don’t know that I could do that with Maria.” Ai was lost in thought about her listener. She had only really seen her as an authoritarian, someone keeping her regressed and stuck in diapers. She had not thought about her at all as a partner, but Aya wasn’t wrong. She partly invented the whole system after all. If anyone would know, it was her. “Ok,” Aya said with determination. She moved over to a small dresser, grabbing a sheet of paper from a small stack that was resting on top, as well as a box of crayons. Obviously these two things were left in there for the speakers to occupy themselves during downtime, though they might not have predicted that this is how they would be using them. “Hit me, Ai. What are all those questions you have? Let’s get 'em all down.” Ai and Aya spent the next few minutes coming up with a series of questions about Ai’s situation. Why couldn’t she talk to Daddy? Did she really have to be this regressed all the time? Why were she and the other speakers stuck at the facility? It was a lot of venting from Ai, and a lot of support from Aya that was all written down in crayon on several pieces of paper. “Wow, you two seem busy,” Maria entered the room, startling Ai and Aya. “We were just writing some questions down about Ai,” Aya answered honestly. Ai and Maria shared a look. “I certainly have some questions of my own,” Maria sighed. “Come on, we gotta head back.” “Hang in there Ai,” Aya encouraged. “Next time I answer questions, I’ll figure all this out for you.” Aya proudly held up the crayon-filled paper before skipping ahead out of the room. Ai wanted to hope that Aya was right. That all those questions would be asked and she would have her answers, but she couldn’t help but doubt it. “Questions about you, huh?” Maria asked pointedly. “Yeah well,” Ai looked away. “It’s just frustrating, you know. We keep trying everything by the book, and nothing’s working. I know you’re frustrated too. I’m sorry.” “Ai,” Maria sighed and looked at Ai seriously. “You don’t have to be sorry. I am frustrated with things, and we have hit a wall, but that’s not your fault.” “No, not just that,” Ai admitted. “Aya said that we’re supposed to be partners, that we should work together to find answers.” Ai paused for a moment. “I haven’t been doing that. I haven’t been your partner, and I’m sorry about that. I really appreciate you bringing me here. It was a nice trip and I feel refreshed.” “I’m glad Ai,” Maria gently took Ai’s hand. “Let’s head back. We’ll figure all this out.” “Now I know I said I was refreshed but,” Ai said jokingly. Maria giggled a little. “Is that your way of asking for a diaper change?” she said cutely. “It’s very clever.” “Did it work?” “Yes, it worked,” Maria rolled her eyes, taking Ai off to a side room. Ai and Maria eventually joined Aya and Marquis in a small van, the listener ready to drive them all back to the facility. “And where did you sneak off to?” Aya teased knowingly. “To get a diaper change,” Ai answered plainly. “Better than spending the whole ride back in a soggy diaper,” “I offered to change you, Aya,” Marquis said with a grin. “It’s almost like you like being kept in soggy diapers or something.” “Traitor!” Aya accused dramatically. Everyone laughed as the van pulled away. Ai looked out the window as they started their drive back to the facility. There was still a large crowd gathered by the community center in the town that had been co-opted for the speaker’s appearance. They all cheered and waved as the van drove past them. “So, I guess I’ve got some extra questions added to my list tomorrow,” Marquis spoke to Maria as she drove. “I’ve heard,” Maria responded. "Lots of interesting questions on there.” “Yeah, I think we need some more interesting questions if we’re gonna get anywhere.” “I wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Marquis noted with a quick glance. “You were always very by the book, following Bala’s answers.” “I was,” Maria said thoughtfully. “It’s just not working though, and Ai and Aya make some good points. Maybe something needs to change if it’s going to work for her. You gotta remember, even if they’re big babies, our little speakers can be pretty smart.” Maria looked knowingly in the rear-view mirror at Ai, who had been listening intently. She blushed a little as her eavesdropping was discovered. “Please,” Aya said comically. “When it comes to being a big baby, we all know I have Ai beat.” “Well, not gonna get me to argue with you there,” Ai played along with the joke. “You sure, Ai?” Maria said getting in on it as well. “Et tu Maria,” Ai said dramatically. “Can you believe these listeners Ai?” Aya fake pouted. “Can’t trust any of em'. They're constantly throwing us under the bus.” “Almost like it’s their job to keep us as babies or something,” Ai agreed. “Don’t forget putting up with all the games you girls play,” Marquis added. “That’s a big part of the job too.” It was a playful ride back, and the speakers and their listeners were in renewed positive spirits. Even when they finally arrived back at the facility, and Ai was undressed out of her adult clothing and put back into a childish romper with a pacifier clipped on, she remained positive and hopeful. Her bleak outlook from earlier was fading away. Maybe Aya would get answers to Ai’s questions, and maybe things would get better. “You look cute dear,” Maria commented as she fussed over one of the ruffles on the butt of Ai’s romper. “Thanks,” Ai smiled. “This is a pretty cute one.” Ai glanced over her shoulder as she saw Aya pass by, dressed in a very short, diaper-revealing dress. She also noted that she was approached by another speaker, one who seemed very upset, contrasting the happy colors of the outfit she was wearing. That must have been Bala, the only speaker Ai had yet to meet. Judging by her attitude, this wasn’t the time to meet her. Aya very purposefully ignored Bala as she and Marquis walked past her, probably off to the play room. Bala shot a glance at Ai, and if looks could kill, Ai would have died, and then exploded. The moment passed quickly as Bala stormed off to somewhere. “What was that about?” Ai asked Maria. “Trouble among friends it seems,” Maria pondered. “Hopefully not something that will interfere with their jobs. Come on little girl,” Maria changed to a positive attitude. “I think you could use a little nap.” “Yes,” Ai's voice had a hint of hope in it that matched the hope she felt in her heart, “that sounds amazing,”

Chapter 5: Developmental Delays Ai sucked and sucked and sucked, as the sweet creamy concoction that was Nana’s life essence squirted onto her tongue and the girl swallowed it down her throat. She was draining Nana, taking the life out of her. That’s how Ai’s spiteful, vengeful brain liked to imagine it. It felt so much stronger, so much more powerful, than to just call it ‘breast milk’. A fun fact danced across Ai’s mind. The nutrients in each batch of milk was determined by two things: what the wetnurse consumed and what the one nursing needed. Over a relatively short timespan, a woman’s nipples could somehow learn to sense what was lacking in a child’s body from the saliva and thus produce whatever chemicals were needed to correct the imbalance. That meant Nana’s own body went against her autonomy just as much as Ai’s in this case. Ai was denied things like alcohol and caffeine, but so was Nana. Ai couldn’t feed herself or use the restroom, but it was Nana’s responsibility to provide nutrition and clean her up. The clothes weren’t ideal, but they were often very practical while being pleasing to the eye. It’s not like she had anybody to impress these days. Her old friends and work acquaintances? Her ex-fiancé? Fuck ‘em. She hadn’t been taken away from them. They’d left her. There was nothing stopping them from visiting her; no rule of law of Luna’s, passive-aggressive or otherwise, that kept them out of her life beyond social stigmas and not caring enough. She had real friends now. Friends like Bala. Friends who understood how the world worked and saw the system for how silly it really was. And Nana and the other Carers? Luna’s agents were nothing more than humans acting as hands for a disembodied machine. They tricked themselves into becoming organic tools and as soon as Luna couldn’t use them or figure out what to do with them they’d be tossed away too. Ai had just figured it out sooner than most. That knowledge had freed her from her misery. Nana was forced to wait for Ai to finish, gently stroking her hair and praising her the whole time. “Such a good eater. Yes you are! Yes you are!” Ai wondered briefly if she could find a way to get fat as a way to make Nana’s job more difficult. Her metabolism nanites probably wouldn’t allow for that, but it was worth wondering, if only for entertainment. When the whole process was finally done, Ai unlatched and sat up. “Burp me,” she commanded. Like a good Carer, Nana patted and rubbed Ai on her bare back massaging up the gas bubbles until they danced up her esophagus and popped out of her mouth. The Pink smiled to herself. What a life! She didn’t even have to burp herself. “All done,” Nana quietly pronounced. “Time for a nap.” Full agree. More time to her thoughts. More rest. More gentle slumbers like a python coiling up after eating a rat. Nana was careful to lift Ai up and rub her back all the way over to her crib. Ai was the one who was laid down, but it was Nana who let out the exhausted yawn. “Aren’t you going to make me thank you?” Ai asked, smirking sarcastically up at her servant. Nana seemed to consider it for a moment. “Honestly?” Nana replied, “I should be thanking you.” Ai stiffened, knees and elbows tensing. “Thanking me?” “Of course,” Nana smiled down at her and booped Ai on the tip of her nose. “If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have a job, silly. Wonderful baby Pinks like you are quite in demand.” Something crashed and crumbled inside of Ai. “A…job…? Demand?” Nana folded her arms over the raised crib rail and rested her chin; a cat watching the canary in its cage. “If everybody was ready for the responsibility of being an adult, do you think there’d be as many Carers? Thirty, sixty, ninety days in diapers that you can change yourself? That’s nothing.” Ai didn’t realize she was shaking. “But…but…but…but…” “But diapers, and cute clothes, and highchairs, and accessible changing tables, and bottles and public playgrounds and all the other things you need,” Nana talked over her, her voice like a cruel lullabye. “That creates jobs. For everyone. All part of Luna’s plan.” “My job…” Ai mewled around her thumb. She hadn’t even realized she’d put it there. “Your job?” Nana leaned over and pinched Ai’s cheek. “First you did a lot of work without using up the space. Then you created a new opening, didn’t you sweetie? Same with your apartment. You made more demand and more space for people who actually want to be adults, didn’t you?” Nana walked over to the nursery and flicked off the light switch. “And all you had to do was to stop pretending and start being happy.” But Ai wasn’t happy. Not anymore. She thought she’d been fighting. Thought she’d be vexing Luna, or at least Maria. It turned out that even her bratty rebellion was part of the complex societal equation. ******************************************************************************************************** “Hey,” Ai tapped Bala on the shoulder. Bala spun around so fast her bright yellow sun dress flared up in the air, flashing her diaper. Not that anyone cared. “Hi, Ai!” Bala squealed. “We were about to play hide and shriek.” She took one hand off her doll and gestured to the gathered two-dots who had been carted to the playground that day. “Yes. But can I talk to you first?” Ai bit her lip and grinded her teeth. “In private?” For the first time since they’d met, Bala looked concerned about something. “Yeah. Sure.” She looked back over her shoulder and pointed to another Pink. “Zee? You’re it first!” Together they trudged to the far end of the playground. As far away from any Carer as Ai could manage without drawing suspicion. That wasn’t far enough though. Together they crawled into a giant cement tube painted a dark green. Great for follow the leader as well as hide and seek. No cameras either. “What’s going on?” Bala asked. She clutched her porcelain doll to her chest like she was protecting an actual child. “How did you zap your first Carer?” Ai asked. “How did you turn her Pink?” Bala’s normally carefree and wild expression turned deadly serious. “Why do you want to know that?” Ai tugged at her pigtails with apprehension. “I just do, okay?” “Did your Nana ask you?” Bala’s eyes burned with suspicion. “Did she promise you’d get your potty training back?” A shock of surprise burned its way through Ai’s system, starting at her face and traveling all the way down to her soles. “What? No!” “Luna’s never going to let you go, Ai. She never is. No matter what she promises you, she’s lying!” “I know I-” “I’m not giving that secret away!” Bala was frothing now. “It’s the one thing that’s keeping me safe. If I give it up, Luna has no need to keep me!” “I KNOW!” Ai’s voice thundered and echoed in that tiny cylinder of concrete. The last tiny reverberations lingered and Bala’s eyes unclouded right as Ai’s started well up. “I figured it out,” Ai sniffed. “We’re all just pawns to create balance. Something to consume resources, vacate spaces, and create jobs.” Bala relaxed and leaned back. “Oooof. Yeah. That’s true.” She shifted her doll into a cradling position. “That’s why I was never given a reason.” Ai said, realizing the truth of the words as she said them. “I didn’t do anything wrong, I was just randomly selected or something.” “Mhm,” Bala nodded slowly. “Most of us are.” “That’s why I can’t work my way back up! I didn’t do anything wrong! I was just…just…sentenced to life without parole! Just my prison is open air!” “Yeah.” Bala agreed. “That’s what I figured out too. It’s why I Pinked my first Carer. I wanted to see how she’d like it.” The silence got heavier and heavier. “So. What are you gonna do? Try and figure out a way to grow up? Give up and pick up the tablet again?” Ai scoffed, involuntarily. “Hell no!” Bala seemed relieved by that answer. “I started going all in on this because I thought it was a way to really stick it to Luna. Like if she or the Carers weren’t going to tell me what I did wrong or how to fix it, then I’d just give them extra work until they cracked. But they want the extra work! Eating paper and chomping crayons just creates demand for more! Throwing tantrums only justifies the need for more Carers!” Bala’s relaxed expression melted into a frown. “And makes people want to obey Luna even more because they think what we have is so horrible.” “Yes!” Ai yelped with realization. “Our rebellion is being weaponized against us!” A bit of the fight left Ai’s body. “I just wanted to…just wanted to…” Her friend and mentor finished the thought. “You wanted to rebel in a way that actually mattered.” Ai closed her eyes and then opened them again. there was something dark in them, and something darker in her heart. “Yes.” “I can’t tell you how I did what I did,” Bala whispered. “It probably wouldn’t work a second time, anyways. It was more luck than anything else. But…” Bala said before despair could set in, “there is something I’ve been fantasizing about doing for a while. Wanna help?” “Will it piss Luna off?” “It’ll do more than that.” “Then, yes.”

Chapter 4: Brat Ai screamed. Ai cried. Ai wailed. Ai thrashed. “Ai?” Nana asked, “What’s wrong, honey?” She removed the feeding tray from Ai’s highchair and pulled the girl into her lap. “Does your tummy hurt? Are you thirsty? Bored?” She bounced Ai lightly in her lap. “Sleepy? I just changed you.” With nothing to cover her breasts but a restaurant provided bib, Ai gave Nana no quarter or no clue as to how the Carer could make the screaming stop. Save for when she was particularly bored, Ai didn’t talk to Nana; not with words. Ai didn’t even think of the tall dark woman as ‘Maria’ anymore. Names were for people she cared about. Nana wasn’t even a person to Ai; just a Carer. “Ai,” Nana said, exasperated. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t make it better.” A beat of screaming. “Are you sleepy? Is that it? I can let you lay down. Would you like that? Take a nap in the booth across from me?” Ai stopped crying and considered it. She didn’t think she’d ever gotten to sleep on a padded restaurant bench. Changed? Yes. Breastfed, yes. Sleep? No. Ai could sleep anywhere these days. Anywhen, too. The challenge of curling up under a pastel pink blankie and snoozing while patrons around her chatted, ate their steaks and sipped chardonnay was enticing. Maybe later. The unprovoked tantrum started again. She felt her Nana tense up just as she was starting to relax. That wonderful feeling was enough to reinvigorate her and give her enough gas to go all night long. From out of the restaurant’s captive audience, another Carer clothed in rose-colored scrubs emerged. “I’ll take her for a while, Maria. You enjoy your food.” “Thank you,” an exasperated and grateful Nana said. She boosted Ai up by the hips and into the arms of the other agent of Luna. Just to make things difficult, Ai squirmed and reached back for Nana as if scared to part ways with the woman. The guilty and ashamed look on Nana’s face was better than the rarest Kobe beef. As was the dissatisfied look on her face when she finally got to taste her first bite of steamed broccoli. Ai’s wish had come true; the meal had started to go cold. Nana’s substitute carried Ai through the restaurant, shushing her and patting her back, trying to get her to calm down. Without stopping, she left the restaurant proper and started doing laps out in the parking lot. So much the better. All around her, inside the establishment and out, passerby stared at Ai, their gazes filled to the brim with discomfort. What should they do? Should they ignore the screaming Pink? Should they complain? Would Luna penalize them for it? Who was to say? Mixed with that was the fear that they too might one day end up like Ai; trapped with no independence or power, allowed no privileges or responsibilities. They pitied her. More than that, they feared becoming like her. Ai had been afraid once. Now she wasn’t. She didn’t know how long she’d been acting this way. After the first week of playing with Bala she’d stopped keeping track of time. Days of the week didn’t matter; they all ended with ‘y’ anyways. She’d probably lost her job by now and been evicted from her apartment. Hard to tell. She hadn’t touched a tablet or anything more technologically advanced than a jack-in-the box in who knew how long. In the midst of her tantrum, Ai realized that she hadn’t seen any other Pinks that required caring for in the restaurant. That meant Luna had had to send an off-duty Carer to give Nana a break. Good. That meant that Luna was paying attention to her again. It also meant that there was one less Carer available should the computer decide that someone else didn’t deserve their independence. In the days before Luna, there had been this thing called ‘religion’. As Ai understood it, religion was a series of stories that people told themselves in order to trick themselves into being good. In more recent times, Luna had replaced God as the all seeing, all knowing, invisible, adjudicator, and the Carers had taken on the part of angels and executors of her will. The result had been largely satisfactory for all involved and the eternally sought after Heaven on Earth had long since been achieved. That made Ai akin to a demon. Since giving up and focusing all her energy on being her best-worst Pinkest self, she’d truly found something she’d been missing. She was something to be contained; something to be feared. People looked at her and reminded themselves to be good little boys and girls, lest they end up on the playground with Ai. Luna refused to talk to her anymore, but Ai had made peace with that. That was fine. Vexing the Carers and selfishly worrying only about her immediate gratification was more than enough. If she couldn’t take her anger out on her god, she could punish the angels instead. This was only a punishment if she allowed it to be. Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven… Ai screamed. Ai cried. Ai wailed. Ai thrashed. She’d never been happier. ************************************************************************************************************** It was Nana’s day off. Ai laid on the padded floor of Bala’s home, both girls coloring contently during their playdate. It wasn’t really coloring, for that would imply an attempt to stay within the prescribed lines only adding different shades of color once the hard work had been done. Instead, they scribbled on the paper maliciously and randomly. Bala took her latest ‘mess-ter-piece’, this one a picture of a cow on a grassy field that had every naughty word Ai had ever heard of branded onto its hide and the grass soaked with neon orange blood, and crumpled it up. It sailed through the air and landed with a quiet rustle by the coffee table a few feet away. She wasn’t dissatisfied with the attempt, Ai knew, only done with it. True happiness as a Pink came from acting on impulse. Color, scribble, write naughty words, carve graven images, do whatever feels right regardless, and then move on to the next thing. Ai copied the gesture, tossing away her cloudy sky with far too many purple penises behind her without a second thought. What next? She grabbed another sheet- something with a sailboat-took a big bite out of the corner, chewed, swallowed, and tossed the remains away. “Aya says that’s bad for you,” Bala said without looking up. She’d moved onto turning a busy city street into a nuclear fallout disaster. There was no judgment in her voice; no passive-aggressiveness like with Luna. She was only conveying a message from doll to human. “Why do I care?” Ai asked, rolling over onto her back. She arched her neck so that she could keep looking at her best friend and mentor. From her point of view, Bala was suddenly glued to the ceiling. “It’s up to Nana to take care of me if I get sick. Not my problem.” That and she’d hoped that if she ate enough paper it’d start coming out in her poop. Self-wiping poop. Genius! Bala seemed to consider that. “Good point.” The crunch of her biting into the jumbo green crayon was not unlike biting into a fresh carrot. Bala’s Mommy came around and started to pick up the bits of paper detritus left in the Pinks’ wake. In the days before Luna came online, the house would have been described as ‘slightly messy’, or ‘lived in’. By modern standards it was a pig sty. In Ai’s heart of hearts, it was nothing less than an accomplished act of terrorism. The Carer stopped putting the scraps in a waste paper basket long enough to check their diapers. Neither one of them flinched while their padding was poked and prodded and the waistbands and leg gathers pulled open. The woman in scrubs might as well have been a cleaning robot, such was their freedom. “Come on, Bala,” Bala’s Mommy coaxed, bright and cheery despite how visibly tired she looked. “Let’s go get your diaper changed.” Bala did not look up from her scribbling. “No,” she said flatly. “Don’t wanna.” “But you’ll get a ra-” “No.” There was more edge this time. One more time and Bala would make her Mommy regret it. “Fine,” the Carer sighed. “Then I’ll go get your stuff and change you here on the floor.” A hint of a smile. Bala’s eyes darted to the porcelain doll, as if sharing a secret inside joke with the toy. “Kay-kay.” Ai watched the woman trudge off to Bala’s nursery to fetch diapers and wipes. She hoped to have her own Mommy under that kind of control. Truly the kind of power Bala wielded over Luna’s agents was almost as great as Luna itself. Ai had come so far in such a short time, but it seemed she still had so much to learn. “Bala?” Ai rolled over back to her stomach. “Can I ask you a question?” For once, Bala’s incredibly short attention span allowed her to focus wholly on her playmate. “Yup yup!” Ai reached out and poked the third glowing dot on the other Pink’s arm. “How did you get this?” “Luna decided that I should never not be a Pink.” The idea seemed positively alien to Ai. One dot was a warning- don’t think you’ve outgrown Luna too much. Two dots was a kind of penance. Even people like Ai who had given up on trying to regain some semblance of their old life could hypothetically climb their way back up the totem pole. Three dots a life sentence? Inconceivable. Yet on the playgrounds and birthday parties and carnivals and every other occasion where Pinks were forced to mingle, Bala was the highest of the low and first among equals. If you still held onto fantasies about gaming the system and getting out of a Carer’s grasp, she was persona non grata. If not, she was the closest thing to a celebrity guru. “How?” Ai asked, her volume suddenly near a whisper. Bala’s Mommy came in, a fresh diaper and wipes in hand. Bala rolled over onto her back and grabbed her doll, dangling it up above her head. Ai thought that Bala was going to wait for her Mommy to leave before continuing the confession. She only waited long enough for the tapes to rip. “This isn’t my first Mommy,” Bala said. Ai arched an eyebrow, suddenly curious. “Oh? What happened?” “It’s a long story.” Ai thought that meant she’d have to hear the rest of it later. Bala just needed to pause long enough for her legs to be thrown up so she could have her backside wiped. “I used to want to be a Carer.” The fresh spurt of pee seeping into Ai’s diaper was merely coincidence. But if she’d had her continence it might not have been. In her schema, Bala was about as far from a Carer as one could possibly be. “Really?” “Yeah,” Bala said. “Take care of the Pinks. Make their lives better. Give them something they never had. That sort of thing.” Ai pushed herself up to all fours and then back onto her bum. She drew her knees up slightly. “Okay…” “Luna decided I wasn’t a good fit. Thought I didn’t have the temperament or something.” Bala dangled the little doll, Aya, in the air, making it dance. Damn, but she loved that doll. A note of bitterness creeped into her voice when she said. “Nobody ever appreciates what you do for them. No matter how many times you’re a good girl.” For some reason Ai couldn’t shake the feeling that Bala was talking about her. “What’d you do then?” The Mommy slid out the old diaper and carefully balled it and the soiled wipes up. “I became a nurse.” Before Luna, that would have been a medical position. With all the advances brought on in the decades since, ‘nurse’ was more of a nanite technician, someone who specialized in the little robots’ transmission signals. Closer to a customer service troubleshooter at an internet service provider than someone versed in the care of the human body. These days there wasn’t much difference; just like there wasn’t much difference between a Pink and an unpotty trained toddler. “How did you end up Pink?” Ai asked. Bala fidgeted and her eye twitched while her Mommy rubbed cream into every fold. “I dunno,” she admitted. “Luna never told me. Did she tell you?” Ai stared down at the foam letter blocks on the floor. “No. Luna didn’t.” “Then I got mad, and got my second dot.” Bala said. Been there. Done that. Powder rained down onto Bala’s bottom and drifted into the fresh diaper that had been slipped underneath her. “Then I got my first Mommy. Then I got mad.” “What’d you do?” Ai was up on her knees, looking like a deer ready to sprint away or a supplicant ready to bow in worship. A dark, knowing grin blossomed on Bala’s face; one that went all the way to her eyes. “I figured out how to reprogram her nanites. Made her a Pink without the dots.” A gasp forced its way out of Ai. The only thing that covered it up was the crinkling and rustling of the fresh diaper being pulled up between Bala’s legs. Ai remembered watching some old gangster movies when she was younger. A classic trope was where the head mobster would get his face shaved by someone who hated and feared him, knowing that at any time the barber could slit his throat with a straight razor but didn’t have the guts. Ai couldn’t help but see the parallels in this situation. “Funny thing is,” Bala babbled on. “Now she’s Pink, too. She had an emotional breakdown from all the teasing. Luna thought it would be easier to just make it official.” “How?” Ai asked. “How’d you manage to do that?” The Carer stood up and took away the dirty diaper. Bala threw a toe back and puckered her lips trying to suck at it. “That’s the best part,” Bala giggled. “Luna still hasn’t figured it out, and I’m not telling!” Ai sucked her thumb, humbled and awed at the revelation. She had so much more to learn.

Chapter 96: In the Can WE TOOK A short break before returning to the scene we planned to start with at ‘Grandma’s house.’ Fortunately, that was a pretty short scene that didn’t involve a lot of cast or resources. Beth was involved in the scene for the first time that morning, but her parts were minimal. Meanwhile, I’d had another wet diaper changed to maintain the continuity that my character hadn’t had one… ‘I’ll probably be visiting those changing stations this week,’ I admitted. There had been no reason to meet the HoloCaretakers I’d heard about from the other Littles in murmurs occasionally the past couple of weeks. They were better about changes than the Bigs. Still, some of them had actual nanny programming, and I’d heard pacifiers and forced bottles happened to a few Littles. I sighed and shook my head, clear of those worries, as we moved to film what was probably the worst scene of the whole project for me. I knew it was also the one that would probably make non-Littles wish they were me! At the action call, I followed behind Charlotte as she cradled a sleeping Beth. Beth’s performance as a sleeping child was quite believable, even as she was nursing a pacifier. We stopped filming at the base of the stairs, started again for the stairs twice, and finally reached the nursery our characters now shared. Charlotte placed Beth on the changing table and changed the artificially wet diaper she wore before dressing her in a purple nightgown. She was tucked into bed, still sleeping, even as I stood by and watched. That particular scene had to be filmed a couple more times so they could get Charlotte’s goodnight kiss just right. It was kind of a cool shot because they filmed her from one side, placing her down on the bed, before virtually removing the wall to let a prepositioned camera get the view from the other side with the wall gone. “Action!” was finally called in the last part of the scene. Charlotte turned from the bed and whispered, “Come here, Brianna.” My not-so-dry diaper was exchanged for a dry one before I was dressed in a miniature version of Beth’s nightgown. As soon as she was done changing me, she carried me from the room and downstairs to the living room. A comfy rocking recliner was against one end of the living room, with a baby blanket waiting on the top of the headrest. Charlotte wrapped me inside of it before I heard, “Cut!” “We good with all of that?” Sebastian asked Will. “It should? I think that worked well. The lighting was good, and we had good coverage as Charlotte carried her down.” “The footage from the camera on the dolly looked good and smooth, too,” Sophia noted. “Okay, Charlotte, go put on the MamaSkin, everyone else, take five!” “MamaSkin?” I asked Sophia as Charlotte sat me on the recliner and walked away. “It’s kind of like the bodysuit Beth has been wearing, but meant to be for an actress playing a nursing mother.” “Meaning?” I asked. “Meaning it’ll prevent you from getting a dose of breastmilk if Charlotte is lactating,” Isabella said from beside me. I blanched, “So I really am supposed to…” “Nurse?” Isabella asked before nodding, “Yeah, and unless you really do want to nurse Charlotte’s boobies, this is the only way to film it and have it look right.” “Not that most boys probably don’t dream of that,” Sophia joked. I rolled my eyes, but as I saw Beth descending the staircase, I asked the important follow-up question: “So what am I drinking?” Gary showed up right then, “Just some plain cow’s milk,” he said. “Promise?” Beth asked, coming up right then. “I even brought the sealed container to show you before we load her with it,” he said reassuringly. When Charlotte returned, I watched as they placed a couple of ‘bladders’ on either side of her that fed into hoses that least to nipples on skin that I would have been convinced was real if I couldn’t see the seams at close inspection. My limited time of seeing nipples in photos led me to believe it was as realistic as something could get. “Comfy enough?” Gary asked Charlotte. She shrugged, “Honestly, this is pretty weird.” “Better than giving the audience a look at your real chest?” he asked. She rolled her eyes, “Trust me, this will look real enough! I’m not sure which would be worse between the fake CGI images and this. I admit I always thought I’d make a lot more money for my first nude scene!” Everyone on set laughed at that. “Someone hand me my little girl, and let’s get this show on the road!” Charlotte said after getting her top back and settled into looking modest and normal. I was placed on her lap, and she gave me a reassuring squeeze as we waited for the crew to finish getting to their places. “Quiet on the set!” A moment later, I heard, “Scene twenty-six, take one!” “Action!” Charlotte made eye contact with me, and it felt like we had an exceptional connection at the moment as she soothingly said, “You’ve probably saved our company, Brianna.” I squirmed as if I was embarrassed and replied, “Hopefully?” “If nothing else, now I know who is responsible and to go after. I’ll call my lawyer first thing in the morning and get them to figure out how we get the police involved.” I shook my head, “It’ll have to be the Feds in this case. Rob and the others are looking at all sorts of Federal charges.” She nodded, staring at me for a moment before giving me a quizzical look. “You know, you could have just told me you couldn’t fix this, right?” I shrugged, “You’ve always been good to me, even before this.” “Even by me forcing you to be my adopted little girl?” “I could have run the other night...? I didn’t have to say yes?” Charlotte pulled me in tighter, “Why did you?” I chewed on the side of my cheek for a moment, looked down, and quietly said, “I knew you were a great mommy?” I looked up at Charlotte and saw several tears streaming down her face. I reached up and wiped one from her face as she gave me a small smile and choked back a sob. “I hope I can be...” she wiped the rest from her face. She suddenly looked down at her shirt, and as I followed her gaze, I realized there must have been another squib-like device, as a couple of moist spots appeared on either side of her chest. She looked down for a second before looking me back in the eyes. “I said I would give you a treat later?” “You already did? I thought that was the restaurant? I’ve never gotten to eat at any place like that before?” I paused, “The food was amazing!” Charlotte laughed, “For good reason, the only Littles there are adopted!” She smiled at me and tickled my stomach teasingly. “No... I had something else in mind that could help you adjust for these last couple weeks before we try potty training Callie again.” “What’s that?” Charlotte smiled at me as she said, “It’s a special mommy gift to you!” I forced my face to move to a panicked expression as if I had just figured out what was happening, even as Charlotte unbuttoned the shirt. I stared for a long moment before she physically adjusted me and placed my face at her nipple. I didn’t latch on right away, having been told to wait until she forced a latch on my mouth. As soon as I did latch, I began sucking away at the now-warm milk. “Cut!” I moved my head away from her chest and reassured myself based on the fact I could stop that it wasn’t breastmilk. “How was the take?” I asked as Charlotte straightened her top. “I think it worked,” Sebastian said. “I don’t think it would go any better if we did it again,” Will agreed. “Charlotte?” Sebastian asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment, “No, I think it worked fine. Let’s get me unhooked from this. Gary, can you get Beth and Carly into their last costumes, and we’ll film the final scene?” She looked at a clock high on the wall, “I think we might be able to get it all finished and in the can in an hour if everyone can hold off on lunch?” “Sounds good!” Will said. “Then take ten, and let’s finish this final scene!” Sebastian said. Charlotte gently leaned forward and let me down onto the ground. I walked with Beth and Gary back to the wardrobe room. My diaper was dry, so I managed to get onto the toilet and successfully went for the first time that day before being changed into a new diaper by Sophia and dressed in a grey sweater dress that was covered with a tessellating embossed series of hearts in the same color. The columns looked like lines from a distance, but it was cute. A diaper cover was pulled up my legs over my diaper, and I was turned over to Isabella. She had just finished putting Beth’s hair in a cute style with two little braids coming to the back of her head and a large bow to hold it in the middle. “There is no way that would last through a day of daycare,” I laughed. “With the nanites, it would,” Isabella said as she lifted me onto the chair we had been doing hair in for the past few days. “I forgot about that stuff,” I admitted. “It’s such an odd thing to use something so advanced on,” I told her. She shrugged, “We’ve had nanites commonly used for over thirty years; I don’t think any of us think it’s that advanced anymore?” “Huh,” I said. I felt Isabella working and knew she had to be making my hair match Beth’s. When Beth appeared in a matching grey dress herself, I knew we were indeed pulling the sisters’ look one last time in the film. BETH FOLLOWED CARLY out to the set as soon as Isabella finished with her hair. As much as she hated the look on herself, she couldn’t help but believe Carly looked absolutely adorable like this! The grey worked amazingly well with their hair and eyes, especially since everything in the playhouse and the daycare was so bright and colorful! As they came out to the soundstage, they discovered both the indoor classroom of the daycare setup and a play yard with the play house were set up and ready to go. Cameras were set up inside the playhouse, and it looked like one was set to do the same trick of making the wall go away that they’d used with the bedroom scene. She saw Charlotte just coming out of what Beth was pretty sure she had arrived in for the day. “Ready to wrap this up, you two?” “Definitely!” Beth said, “I never want to wear another of these outfits again!” Charlotte giggled at that, “I don’t blame you!” Ten minutes later, they began shooting with her, Carly, and a HoloCharacter inside the large playhouse. The HoloCharacter was about a foot taller than Carly but still shorter than she was. The character was playing with a toy pan on the stove, as Beth had Carly sitting in a ‘play’ high chair that was probably just one of those short convertible ones. She tried to spoon a fake spoonful of a jar of baby-pureed peas into Carly’s closed mouth. “You’re the baby; you have to eat it!” she whined at Carly. “But why am I the baby?” Carly whined back. “I’m older than both of you?” The HoloCharacter walked over and wore the sternest expression ever worn by a two-year-old girl, “You littlest, you baby!” Carly looked back at Beth, pleading with my eyes, but Callie said, “She’s right, you’re the shortest. Now sit in your high chair and let Mommy feed you.” Carly was about to fight more when she added, “I’ll tell Mommy on you if you don’t!” With a sigh, Carly pretended to eat the play food and did her best not to let the fake spoon hit her mouth. She managed to actually land it inside twice, though, and Beth smirked as Carly made a face as if she had sand or something in her mouth. When enough time passed that she would have seemed to get bored of it, she said, “All done! What a good baby!” Beth grimaced internally but forced herself to smile as she suddenly squatted and activated her PooPloder. A moment later, Isabella came in to play Miss Terry. “Oh, did you finish feeding your baby, Callie?” Beth smiled and bounced a bit, “Uh-huh! She’s a good baby!” Isabella knelt down, smiled at her, and then turned her around to check her diaper. “I bet she is. Since you’re done feeding her, we’d better change Mommy into a fresh diaper, huh?” Beth looked at her with a confused look, “Huh?” “You’re poopy, dear!” “Nuh-uh,” she started to argue but made a face that sold her suddenly realizing she was. “Bree, come?” “Sure,” Isabella said as she grabbed both girls’ hands and led them inside the daycare. “Cut!” Sebastian called. “Will?” he asked. “All good, I think?” “Charlotte?” He asked. “I agree, I can’t see anything worth refilming. Beth and Carly did a great job with that scene. I thought I was going to lose it when the spoon went into your mouth, Carly,” Charlotte said. Carly stuck her tongue out at Charlotte, “I’m just glad it wasn’t a real play area… can you imagine how gross and how many germs would be on those things?!?” Charlotte laughed, “Babies don’t care though, huh?” “Almost done, everyone; let’s get this final scene in!” Sebastian said. There was a flurry of activity on the set as they reset cameras and relocated a few dolly tracks to smooth out some camera movements. Finally, they stood on the other side of the door to come in, and the call to action was made. Beth awkwardly waddled and followed Isabella to the changing table with her fully loaded diaper. Beth held her arms up even as Isabella leaned over to pick her up and placed her on the changing table. As she placed the safety strap on Beth, she looked down at Carly beside her. “Seems like you’ve got your work cut out for you here, Bree? But I guess you get to start potty training again next week!” Beth heard Carly’s sigh, “Mommy did say that.” Beth frowned deeply, “No wanna use potty!!!!” She then kicked her feet up and down at the end of the table in defiance! “No kicking, Callie!” Isabella warned. “Why not Callie? Being a big girl is fun! And using the potty isn’t a big deal?” Carly asked as if trying to defuse the misbehaving sister. “It’s boring! You have to stop playing!” “But…” Carly was about to argue when she went silent. Isabella was pulling the diaper cover down and the dress out of the way as she looked down at Carly. “Well, maybe you’ll both just have to find out how much fun you can have when you don’t have to stop playing to have your diapers changed!” “Bree, you still there?” Beth asked. Isabella patted her on the head, “She’s fine, she’s just having her own poopy moment.” “Bree poopy too!” Beth giggled. They filmed Beth being let down and Carly being placed on the table in her place. She winced as the contents of the PooPloder-filled diaper were pressed against her. Isabella quietly muttered, “You may never get out of diapers if she keeps that attitude up.” Beth watched from the side as Carly said the final line, “Don’t I know it!” They filmed the completion of the diaper change for good measure before Beth heard, “Cut!!!” Several minutes later, after reviewing the footage, Charlotte said, “That’s a wrap, everyone!” Cheers filled the room, as the crew felt they had done a lot of work to get there the past few weeks! “Okay, Connor, let’s go get you back to being Connor,” Gary said suddenly from beside them. “Cast photo first!” Charlotte insisted. “I guess,” he agreed. All of the crew crowded into the nursery part of the daycare and staged themselves, holding toys and rattles. A few even put pacifiers in their giant mouths. It was a cute photo they showed Beth and the others before they went to get changed. ‘I just hope we can get Carly figured out…’ she thought. Back in the wardrobe room, they helped Carly sit in the hair styling chair, and Beth watched Isabella first deactivate the hair nanites. A bow was still holding the hair in the back of her head. Still, the color seemingly instantly reverted to her usual dirty blonde, and her hair was a little more lifeless. Gary then came over with the tablet that controlled the gender nanites. “Okay, hopefully, this fixes everything here, Connor; you ready?” “Go for it,” Beth heard Carly say. As soon as Gary activated the system, Carly shouted in pain even as she briefly convulsed! When she stopped moving, everyone froze. It looked like nothing had changed!!! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the Like Button! I have some time off this week, so hopefully, I'll be able to get a bigger lead on chapters than I have right now. At a certain point, I may have to cut back to one a week to keep the flow going when my life gets nuts again in the fall. (It's always nuts, but sometimes it's worse than others!) Anyway, if this gets 25 likes by Sunday, I'll give you a bonus. If that one gets that, I'll probably be in the mood to give a third next week. This chapter answered many of your questions, but of course, some remain unanswered. Answers come in those next chapters! (Some of them, at least!) As always, if you enjoy my works, please consider purchasing the completed ones on Amazon Kindle! http://amazon.com/author/babysofia

It's an interesting setting! I have a feeling this won't be the only story I write in this setting because there are a lot of other kinds of stories to explore in this universe. And don't worry, this will get smutty. Ah, gotcha! Thanks for the explanation! Alright, kiddos. I really do apologize for taking such a long hiatus from this story. I've been very busy with work and, honestly, I'm going through some shitty things in my rl. I had originally really wanted to do weekly updates, but, at least for right now, I'm not sure I can promise that. BUT! Don't worry, however long I go between updates, I will definitely not be abandoning this story. Thank you all for your patience, and I hope you find it worth the wait! But, alright. Here we go. Neeeewwwwwwww chapters; go! Chapter Twelve Rei thought about texting Riley that morning; she had wanted to text Riley, but she thought it prudent not to—that is, the questions she wanted to ask Riley were not questions she wanted a record of asking. So, instead, Rei sought out Riley at lunch. She wasn’t even sure Riley would be there, but most students at her school had the same schedule Monday and Wednesday, so it was safe to assume Riley would be having lunch around the same time the two had run into each other earlier in the week. And, as predicted, she found her easily enough. Riley was sitting alone on one of the patio tables in the farthest corner. The day was warmer than it had been for the past two weeks, but still chilly enough to keep most of the student body off the patio and inside. Riley sat on the black crisscross tabletop with her cafeteria tray of food next to her and her combat boots on the attached bench. Her mop of curly blue hair was free today, and she wore an oversized black and red knit cardigan over a band shirt at least three sizes too big tucked into a black pencil skirt over fishnets. She sat facing perpendicular to the direction from which Rei approached, giving the latter plenty of time to admire the former as she approached. And admire she did. Riley was so different from the other girls; she oozed maturity and a sort of effortless cool. Riley was confident, sure of herself, in a world that pressured her to be anything but that. Rei couldn’t explain it, but she found herself craving Riley’s approval. Rei found herself getting nervous as she approached; she was self-conscious of her light pink blouse and black maxi skirt, worried that Riley would find it childish or immature or just…not cool. That’s what it came down to: Rei desperately wanted Riley to think she was cool. “Uh, hey,” Rei said, off to a great start. Riley turned towards the girl and grinned, “hey, Rei, what’s up?” She slid down from table to sit on the bench itself, albeit backwards, and gestured for Rei to sit next to her. “I see you went for the chicken tenders today too,” Riley said lightheartedly, gesturing to a half-eaten plate of the same on her tray. Rei laughed, a little nervously, “yeah,” she said, and immediately had nothing else to say as she slid on to the bench next to Riley. “You okay?” Riley asked, sensing some tension in the other girl. “I don’t know, are we?” Riley sucked her teeth. “You worried about what happened with Melanie and Josie?” Rei nodded. “They are solid; they won’t give up any names.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah,” Riley said without hesitation. “Look,” she added a beat later, “I know it’s scary, but…we all knew what we were getting into, yeah? Melanie and Josie certainly did, and they were ready to accept those consequences. They aren’t going to give up any information that might hurt any of us or the group, okay?” Riley was only mostly certain of what she was saying, but she needed to sound confident to put Rei at ease. Rei getting worked up and worrying wouldn’t help anyone, and, besides, Riley felt a sort of instinct to protect the younger girl. Riley was, after all, the apparent leader of the group. “Thanks, Riley,” Rei said after she had digested the other girl’s words for a moment. “That makes me feel a little better.” “And, hey, look, if you ever feel like you are in over your head, no one will judge you if you want out, you know that, right?” Riley wanted Rei to stay with the group, it gave Riley a reason to keep talking to her, but it was important to her that Rei knew no one was forcing her to stay. Riley was already in to deep, but it wasn’t too late for Rei. Rei took a bite of one of her chicken tenders and chewed slowly. She was scared, of course she was scared, but she was just as scared of what would happen to the world if girls like her and groups like Rebel stopped fighting back. And then there was the simple fact that she didn’t want to let Riley down. She didn’t want to let any of her fellow Rebels down, for that matter. “So,” Rei said after a long moment, “what’s the next job going to be anyway?” Riley snorted laughter. “I don’t know yet,” she said when her laughter died down, “but…probably something smaller. We need to lay low for a bit, I think.” Rei nodded, embarrassed by how relieved she felt to hear that. “I don’t know,” Riley continued, “just check your burner every Friday, like usual; we’ll probably announce the next meeting soon.” The two sat in silence for a long moment after that, Rei picking at her food while Riley stared off across the lake behind their campus. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but it wasn’t, exactly, a comfortable silence either. Rei was desperately searching her brain for something to say the whole time, but it was Riley who finally broke the silence. “So, how are things with your mom?” And it was the topic Rei least wanted to talk about. She shrugged, “She hasn’t really mentioned what happened, but she did pull me out of that class.” A second shrug, “I guess I’m just lucky she let me stay in college at all.” “You really think she might put you in one of those extended high school programs?” “I don’t know,” Rei replied honestly, “I wouldn’t have thought so at one point, but…then Monday night happened, and…” she trailed off. “And now everything seems topsy turvy?” Riley picked up the thought, and Rei nodded in agreement. “You don’t think she’d…do…ya know, anything else, do you?” Rei blushed at even the thought of what Riley might be referring to. “God, no, mom thinks all that stuff is like…kinda weird.” “More than kinda,” Riley interjected. “So, I don’t think she’d ever go that far, thankfully.” “Well, hey, you know, if you do get sent off to one of those extended high school programs, I mean…you know, you’ve got my number, so we can still be friends.” Riley was trying desperately to sound nonchalant, like it didn’t matter that much to her, but she was terrified her new friend would one day disappear without warning and she wanted, no, needed the other girl to know she could still reach out. “Yeah?” Rei asked, trying to hide how excited she was that Riley had said they were friends, and more so at the implication that Riley wanted to continue being friends even if Rei could no longer attend college. “I’d…really like that.” “Sure, of course,” Riley smiled. “Besides, you can brag to all your new high school friends that you have a friend in college.” Rei couldn’t help but laugh; it was exactly the kind of thing the popular girls at her high school would have bragged about. It was probably an even bigger brag these days. “What kind of classes do they teach in those programs anyway?” Riley asked. “I mean, I know it’s basically housewife training, but is that it?” Rei shrugged; she hadn’t really looked into it much. “I think it’s like…cooking classes and stuff like that. Probably a whole semester on how to get stains out of different fabrics. Probably child raising classes, as if I would ever want to have children.” Riley pulled out her phone while Rei was still talking about began tapping furiously on the screen. “Well, I don’t know about a whole semester on getting stains out, but you’re partially right; it’s a lot of like home ec kind of classes. But they do also have continuing education in the core subjects like Math, English, History, and Science, and other electives.” “Wait, really?” Rei was surprised. She had genuinely thought it was just to get you ready to be a housewife. “Yeah, this website says ‘extended high school programs are designed to give your daughter a high-quality, college-level education free from the radical leftist bias prevalent in so many colleges and universities’” she read off the screen of her phone, then added, “Kinda creepy, if you ask me.” “Why creepy?” “Like, they act like colleges and universities are brainwashing us to be leftist radicals, but can you honestly tell me this isn’t its own form of brainwashing? Raising girls who can’t and won’t question their own infantilization, oppression, and marginalization? That’s all these schools do. ‘High-quality, college-level’ my ass. I’ll tell you what it is,” Riley shifted on the bench to face Rei directly, “it’s just a reflection of the anti-intellectualism this whole bullshit movement has been built on, ya know? They have their whole “facts over feelings” mantra, but it’s a façade, because in reality, in truth, the facts don’t back up what they say, so they change the facts, change the narrative, and say anything that says otherwise is biased. It’s fucked up. It’s downright sinister, ya know?” “You’re right,” Rei agreed enthusiastically, “God, I wish I could get my mom to understand that. She thinks the education I want to get is political, but you’re right, it’s only political because people who don’t like the conclusions it teaches have made it political!” “Damn right, girl,” Riley encouraged the younger girl. “I just…” Rei sighed, losing her momentum, “I just wish she could see that.” “I wish a lot of people could see that,” Riley responded, faint frustrating in her voice. “You wanna get out of here?” She asked suddenly. “Wait, what do you mean?” “I mean, let’s blow off afternoon classes, go do something fun.” Rei laughed nervously; was Riley joking? “I…I can’t skip class.” “Why not? It won’t hurt to miss a class. Besides, this time next week you could be at an extended high school program, so who cares?” Rei internally flinched at Riley’s jab or joke or whatever it was. She had a point, but it was a point Rei didn’t like having pointed out. “Sorry,” Riley said, picking up on the girl’s lackluster reaction. “It’s just…I don’t know, I feel restless, I guess.” And I want to spend more time with you, Riley thought but didn’t say. Rei chewed her bottom lip, tempted to go, but certain her mother would somehow find out. Wait, that was a good question, did colleges report when you were absent like high schools did? Once upon a time, she would have assumed not, but now it was anyone’s guess, especially for students who were still minors. “I…really don’t want to miss class…” Rei said at least, more than a little regretful. “Look, if you’re worried about your mom finding out,” Riley said, as if she could read the other girl’s mind, “then just go to class, excuse yourself to the restroom after attendance, and, poof, you’re gone.” “Won’t they notice me taking all my stuff to the restroom?” Riley shrugged, “leave your stuff with me.” Rei’s stomach was full of butterflies. She had never skipped class, not even in high school. But here was Riley, who she desperately wanted to think she was cool, inviting her to skip class and go hang out. Rei glanced at her phone screen; her afternoon class started in thirty minutes, she had to decide soon. “Come on,” Riley coaxed, “it’ll be fun.” “What would we even do?” Riley shrugged, “hang out, chill, maybe go to the mall? I don’t know, anything is better than being here today, if you ask me.” Rei took a deep breath, then laughed nervously. “Okay,” she said, “let’s do it.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Come on then,” without a moment of hesitation, Riley grabbed Rei’s wrist and ran off giggling, pulling the other girl behind her and leaving their discarded lunch trays behind. Chapter Thirteen Riley sipped on her lemonade and handed Rei the last bite of the pretzel they were splitting. “Aliens,” Riley said. Rei laughed and popped the last piece of pretzel in her mouth, chewing while she thought out her reply. “Probably real,” she said once she had swallowed, “well, almost certainly real, but only probably have visited Earth before.” “Probably isn’t the game,” Riley shot back, “do you personally think they have?” Rei took a sip of her own lemonade and pondered the question. “Mmm, yes, but I don’t think they’ve abducted people.” “You think they just like…observe?” “Yeah! Like scientists, ya know? Observing wildlife in its natural habitat.” “So that’s what we are to them?” “Probably!” Rei giggled at the thought. The mall food court was nearly empty on this weekday afternoon, but a few tables were occupied throughout the mass of them. Rei couldn’t help but keep looking over at a mother a few tables away spoon-feeding her daughter, who seemed to fall into helpless giggles every time her mother flew an airplane her way. Rei wasn’t sure, but she thought she might have gone to high school with the girl. “What do you think the aliens think of all that?” Riley said, noticing the trajectory of Rei’s distant stare. Rei didn’t answer immediately; she was considering the scene in front of her, trying to assess it like an alien who didn’t quite understand the cultural history that had led to this tableau. As Rei watched, the girl in the oversized highchair stopped giggling and scrunched up her face. For a moment, Rei wasn’t sure what she was watching, but it only took her a moment to figure it out: the girl was filling her diaper. Rei’s soul wretched a little, and she forced herself to turn away. “Um, how about ghosts?” she asked Riley, ignoring the other girl’s previous question. “Oh, definitely real,” Riley said, easily rolling with Rei’s change of subject. “But I don’t think most of them can, like, hurt or affect us. Hell, maybe none of them can.” Rei chuckled, “I thought I saw a ghost once when I was a kid.” “Tell me everything.” Rei felt her cheeks heat up; she normally didn’t tell anyone this story out of fear of being made fun of. She studied Riley’s face, trying to determine if Riley was baiting her into telling an embarrassing story or if she was genuinely interested. Riley seemed nothing but the latter. “Well,” she began, tentatively, “I mean, first of all, you have to understand, I was like seven at the time.” “Uh huh,” Riley nodded and gently encouraged Rei to continue. “And it was like shortly after my grandmother died.” “And then you saw her ghost?” Rei blushed but nodded. “I woke up one night in the middle of the night…something like two or three AM, and I think I went downstairs to get a glass of water or something. Like, I went downstairs, but I don’t remember what for.” Riley was nodding along as she listened. “And…sorry, this isn’t, like, an exciting story or anything.” “No, no, go on!” Riley urged. “Well, I went downstairs and…well, the first thing I noticed was the all the kitchen cabinets were just standing open.” “Oh, creepy,” Riley replied. “Yeah! And then like, I saw her just…sitting at the dining room table.” “You’re sure it was her?” “Definitely! I…” Rei blushed, “well, it scared me so bad I went running upstairs, crying the whole way, and jumped in bed with my parents.” “Wait, but how was that scary?” Riley asked incredulously. “I don’t know!” Rei laughed and threw up her hands, “I was like seven and I just saw a ghost! What about you, have you ever seen a ghost?” Riley smiled and shrugged, “nah. Some friends and I once tried to do a séance in a graveyard when I was in high school, had a Ouija board and everything, but all we saw was some cops that chased us off.” “Maybe you should try again one night.” “Oh yeah? What, you wanna join me?” “Maybe,” Rei said coyly. Riley grinned, “yeah, whatever, you’d probably scream and run away the moment we heard a noise or something.” “I was seven!” Rei cried in her defense. “I’d totally be brave enough now.” “I’m pretty sure I do still have that Ouija board…” “I’m serious! I’d totally do it.” “Alright,” Riley replied, sounding a bit smug, “but don’t complain when I drag you out to a graveyard one night to summon spirits.” “I can handle it,” Rei insisted. She took another sip of her lemonade, sucking up the last little bits, and leaned back in her chair, looking out over the food court again. The mother and her daughter had left; Rei could guess where they had gone off to easily enough. “Wanna go check out some stores?” Riley said after it was clear the conversation was in a lull. “What time do you need to be home by?” Rei looked at her phone, “not for another hour or so,” she replied. “Where’d you have in mind?” Riley looked at Rei for a moment, studying her face, before speaking, “you ever think about how good you’d like in eyeliner? We could go shopping for some make-up for you.” Rei let out a single sarcastic syllable of a laugh. “Yeah right, mom would kill me. She’s always been against me wearing make-up.” “So? She doesn’t have to know. Put it on in the school bathroom at the beginning of the day and take it off before you go home.” Rei chewed her lip a little embarrassedly, “and then there’s the fact that I have no idea how to put any kind of make-up on.” “Wait, really?” “Really! I told you, mom was always against it, she never taught me. Hell, she doesn’t really wear make-up either.” “Okay, well, we definitely need to fix that, okay?” Rei didn’t have time to respond; Riley jumped up from the table, grabbed their trash, and walked off with it, giving Rei the option of either staying behind or following. She caught up to Riley just as she was dumping their trash. “Come on,” she grabbed Rei’s hand and started leading her through the mall without needing to consult a map. A few moments later, the pair approached a store Rei had passed before, but had never entered: Sephora. The storefront was not huge, but it was bigger than Rei imagined was needed just to sell make-up, a thought that demonstrated just how clueless Rei was when it came to cosmetics. “Hold on there, girls,” a stern voice stopped the pair in their tracks as they approached the doorway. An older woman with crow’s feet creasing the pale ivory of her skin wearing a beige skirt suit with white high heels approached the pair, stopping directly in their path with her arms crossed over her chest. “Sorry, unattended children are not allowed in this store. You’ll have to come back with your parents.” Riley made a noise that was halfway between annoyed and disgusted as she fished her wallet out of her purse and flipped it open, “I’m emancipated, okay?” The woman raised her eyebrow at Riley, studied the ID being held out in front of her, and sighed. “Fine, but what about her?” “She’s with me,” Riley replied. “No unaccompanied children,” the woman shot back. “What the fuck?” Riley exclaimed, making the older woman visibly flinch at the profanity. “I’m an adult, so I’m accompanying her!” “Are you her parent?” The altercation was beginning to draw on-lookers and rubber-neckers. Rei could feel them staring at her, and, worse, she couldn’t tell if they were sympathetic or accusatory stares. “You just said she had to be accompanied; you didn’t say anything about a parent!” Riley loudly insisted. “Well, I am now,” more store employees were making their way to the front of the store now, flanking the older woman who Rei assumed was in a managerial position over the less formally dressed workers with nametags on their shirts. “And quite frankly, young lady, emancipated or not, I’m not so sure I want you in my store if this is the way you conduct yourself.” Rei was standing a foot behind Riley, blushing and holding back tears as Riley and this stranger debated over her like…well…like she was a child. Her reaction to it only made her feel more childish, but she couldn’t help how hot her cheeks were burning under the gaze of the audience and the judgement of this woman. “This is fucked up,” Riley growled, “just let us in, okay?” “Watch your language, young lady, or I’ll—” “You’ll what? Tell my mom? I told you, lady, I’m emancipated, bitch.” The older lady furrowed her brow hard, “I won’t ask you again. If you insist on being vulgar, I’ll call security and have them check just how authentic that emancipation card is.” Riley stared the woman down for a long moment, her jaw clenched and eyes on fire, “are you seriously accusing me of having a fake emancipation card?” The woman just smirked in response, “there’s a Forever 15 down that way,” the lady pointed the way they came, “and a Justice and a Claire’s that way,” she pointed in the opposite direction. “I’m sure you’ll find them better suited to…clientele such as yourself.” “Go ahead,” Riley planted her feet and crossed her arms in mimicry of the older woman, “call security. They’ll confirm my ID is real and you’ll have to let us shop here.” “Riley?” Rei managed to quietly croak out from her tightening throat. Neither woman seemed to notice her. “And what do you think is going to happen to your little friend, hm?” The lady responded smugly. “You may be emancipated, but she’s a minor; do you think her parents will be happy to pick her up from mall security?” That clearly caught Riley off guard, her anger dropping for just a second before it came roaring back in defense of her friend, “just…fuck you, okay?” It was just too bad all of that anger was impotent, and Riley knew it. “Come on, let’s go find some place to shop where the employees aren’t all fucking cunts.” Then Riley turned on her heel and stomped off. Rei gave the older lady, who was positively fuming, an apologetic look, not because she felt bad about what Riley had said, but just…well, she wasn’t sure why. Then she hurried to follow after Riley. “I can’t believe that bitch,” Riley muttered when Rei had caught up to her. “We’ll find another store, okay?” “Hey, Riley?” “There’s like three other make-up stores in this mall, okay? Not all of them will be staffed by conservative old bitches.” “Yeah, but…” “I can’t believe she threatened to call security, what a bitch move.” “Hey, Riley, stop,” Rei reached out and grabbed Riley’s upper arm to get her attention. “Please, can we just go?” Riley turned to face Rei, and all the anger immediately went out of her. Rei was close to trembling, and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “Shit,” Riley said quietly, pulling Rei into a hug. “I’m sorry; I didn’t even think about how that affected you.” “It’s okay,” Rei hugged Riley back, burying her face in the soft fabric of Riley’s cardigan. “But…please, I just want to go home, okay?” “Yeah,” Riley said softly, “we’ll get you home.” Chapter Fourteen “So, is this your mom’s car?” Rei asked as they cruised down the street, wind whipping in through the open windows. Rei’s hair was put up in a messy bun to keep it from tangling; meanwhile, Riley’s hair whipped haphazardly around her face. “Nah,” Riley answered, “it’s mine.” “Oh, that’s really cool,” Rei couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. She didn’t even have her driver’s license anymore; under the Hayes Act, minor girls couldn’t have licenses. It was just one of the many perks of being emancipated. “Yeah, well, you know the grandfather clause in the Hayes Act?” Rei nodded. In a true grandfather clause, everyone who had already reached the age of majority would have stayed an adult; Rei would have stayed an adult. But the grandfather clause of the Hayes Act was…well…not quite so comprehensive. Girls who were twenty-four or older at the time of passage got to remain an adult; likewise, any girls who owned property in value of at least fifteen-thousand dollars got to remain an adult. “Well, after the Hayes Act got passed and my mom emancipated me, she thought that me owning property might be a layer of protection if they ever tightened the laws or something, you know? So, it was really important to her that I own my own car.” Rei chuckled, “it’s still pretty cool.” “Yeah,” Riley laughed, “I guess I just…sometimes I feel bad. I’m really lucky to have a mom like mine; I’m really lucky to be emancipated and stuff, and it makes me feel…guilty that other people don’t have that,” she glanced over to Rei. “Does that make sense?” It did make sense. Rei would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little jealous of Riley. And, yes, in part she was jealous because Riley was pretty and confident and effortlessly cool; but she was also jealous that Riley didn’t have to worry about getting moved to an extended high school program. Riley didn’t have to worry about getting spanked. Riley didn’t have to worry about any of the things Rei had suddenly found herself worried about. But that wasn’t Riley’s fault. Rei shrugged, “I get it, but, like…you shouldn’t feel bad or guilty. Like, you of all people, you know? You are using those privileges to help girls that don’t have them. And don’t get me wrong, like, you shouldn’t feel bad or guilty no matter what, ‘cause it’s not your fault, but I’m saying especially because of what you do to try to help people who don’t have those privileges? It’s really impressive, you know? I kind of look up to you, if I’m being honest.” “It’s not that impressive,” Riley waved her hand dismissively, “And certainly nothing to be admired for. But…what you’re saying makes sense. It’s just…” Riley stared at the road for a long moment before continuing, “I don’t think it can be logicked away; I don’t think it’s based in logic. And maybe Rebel is all just my attempt at soothing my guilt over it all. And, then there’s…” Riley sighed. “Well, nevermind that.” “No, what? You can tell me.” There had been a shift in the atmosphere of the car. Rei no longer found herself looking at confident, effortlessly cool Riley, founder of Rebel, she was looking at vulnerable, honest Riley, a girl who was as scared as everyone else. The significance of Riley letting her in like this wasn’t lost on Rei. “We’re friends, right?” And then there’s the fact that Riley was terrified of facing the consequences of her actions with Rebel. That was what Riley was going to say. That Rebel was a lot more fun when it was just her and a few others committing acts of vandalism, theft, and destruction of property. And, to be honest, sneaking into a Target after hours and slashing gouges through every pack of diapers designed for girls her age felt like it did more direct and immediate good than blowing up a building. Riley knew you couldn’t build a revolution on such small acts of defiance but they should be leaving the big things to groups with more funding and strength. Or was that just Riley’s fear talking? “It’s nothing, really,” Riley forced a smile. Rei felt that momentary vulnerability close. She couldn’t help but feel a bit sad, but she was thankful Riley had opened up to her at all. More importantly, Rei respected the boundary Riley was setting. “Okay,” she said, “but, if you ever change your mind, I’m happy to listen.” “You know,” Riley said, “you’re pretty cool.” Rei blushed so hot she thought she was going to catch on fire.

If I had the money to visit the diaper spa... I'd still have better things to do with said money.

I am blessed with both conditions, the first due to Type 2 Diabetes (not total,) and the second due to genetics, I guess (about 1-1/2" flaccid, not much more than 3" fully erect.) I like to fantasize about girls making fun of my diapers and "widdle baby pee-pee!"