bigred0603

thank you for letting me be a part of it 😃 It's still a bit surreal that I got to take part in academy so directly and I'm super honored.

Chapter 5 The cafeteria was abuzz with the excited conversation of all of the speakers, mingling in their cutest party dresses or outfits for the momentous occasion. All nibbling on the various small snacks and sweets that had been lovingly prepared by the listeners and even some of the speakers who were still proficient at cooking. The last speaker had finally made contact with Cas Lo Cho Thoth. One of the church's long term goals had been accomplished and everyone was celebrating. The speaker of the hour, Ai, was stuck in a play pen toward the back of the cafeteria, the only other speaker sitting with her was Aya. Both of them were too small to be allowed the dresses and rompers of their peers so instead they were put in onesies, Ai’s white and decorated with fairies and Aya’s a light blue with stars. “Sorry you gotta spend the party in the play pen,” Aya said over her star decorated pacifier. “It’s all right,” Ai said with an accepting sigh. She stood up briefly to stack a soft felt block on the top of an already sizable stack of felt blocks. “Maria seems pretty eager to get me in for follow up questions,” Ai plopped back down on her bottom. “You caused quite a stir apparently,” Aya grabbed another felt block. “Marquis was a little shook up about it.” “Maria still hasn’t told me what I answered with.” “It is her first time,” Aya nodded. “She’s still gotta get used to how you answer things. We’re all a little different, you know. Even if all the listeners can get the gist of what we’re saying, you’re not gonna know the specifics without studying us personally.” Ai stuck her tongue out as she tried to carefully place the block on top of the stack without knocking it over. “I dunno maybe,” Ai was not convinced by Aya’s theory. She felt like Maria knew what she said, but something was keeping her tight lipped about it. She had been noticeably more antsy lately. “You guys want some finger sammies,” Wendy approached the playpen with a plate full of finger sandwiches in tow. She was in what was basically a maid’s dress, only shorter to deliver the obvious look at the diaper underneath that all of the Speaker’s clothes did. The red dress and apron complete with matching headband was probably a special request from Wendy though, and she brought it out for the party. “One sec,” Aya held a finger out to Wendy as she gingerly placed her block on top of the stack. Beaming when the tower remained steady. “Do you have questions soon too Aya?” Wendy asked. “Nope just didn’t want Ai feelin lonely,” Aya took several of the small sandwiches. “She likes playing baby,” Ai teased. “I suppose it can be fun at times,” Wendy said thoughtfully. “But we don’t get that many parties, so I’m gonna make the most out of it.” Wendy paused to sniff the air as a familiar smell wafter to her. “One of you needs a change.” Aya blinked for a moment. “Is that me or you Ai?” “That’s me,” Ai blushed slightly, though her reaction was much more muted than what she would have had when she first arrived here. “Can you really not tell Aya?” “Oh I can,” Aya smirked. “But it’s cute when you admit it like that.” Ai frowned and tossed a block at the stacked tower knocking the careful construction to the ground. Aya pouted and plopped on her bottom. The exchange elicited a giggle from Wendy. “I’ll go get Maria for you Ai,” Wendy said. She paused for a moment before leaving. “I probably need my diaper checked too,” she thought out loud. “Anyway see you two later.” Wendy skipped away from the play pen, and over to the window on the opposite side of the cafeteria. It looked into the kitchen, like what you might see at a diner. She sat her tray of sandwiches down on the counter and looked into the window. A group of speakers were in the kitchen, Maria included. “Maria,” Wendy called into the kitchen in a singing voice. “Ai could use a diaper change.” “I’ll get to it in a minute Wendy,” Maria called back, shooing the speaker along. Her gaze turned back to Kenzō and Marquis, the other two listeners in the kitchen with her. They were both going over a piece of paper with serious expressions. “And you’re sure you translated this right?” Kenzō asked. “I mean you haven’t had the time to pick up on Ai’s dialect fully.” “I thought it might be wrong too,” Maria admitted. “But I’ve been over the recording several times. It can’t be anything else.” Maria had circled several sections of the paper that she deemed particularly important. One of the circled questions was: “Why do the speakers have to wear diapers?” The answer was translated as: “It was not my intent, but the Chariot wanted it.” An immediate follow up question to this was also circled: “Who is the Chariot?” The answer: “The Chariot is the Chariot.” Another circled question: “Why couldn’t Ai talk to you before now?” The answer was again cryptic: “The Chariot kept the Magician from me. I did not know her.” Once again an immediate follow up question of: “Who is the Magician?” was met with the simple but unhelpful: “The Magician is the Magician.” The group of three listeners were pondering over these answers. “Have you sent these off to the Clergy?” Marquis asked. “Of course,” Maria answered quickly. “They think I’ve mistranslated. It goes directly against what Cas Lo Cho Thoth has told us before. But I know my translation is right.” Maria said with conviction. “Who is the Chariot is my question,” Kenzō breathed heavily. “Cas Lo Cho Thoth has never been this vague. Especially when we ask so directly like that.” “Whoever The Chariot is, they were able to keep it from doing what it wanted,” Marquis chimed in. “They may be able to get it to hide their identity as well.” “I have one thought,” Maria spoke up. “When I asked about Ai I think it was calling her the Magician. Which makes me think that the Chariot may be a speaker too.” “That’s a bit of a leap,” Kenzō crossed his arms. “I dunno,” Marquis shrugged. “It makes sense to me.” “Maybe we should come back to this,” Kenzō sighed. “I need some time to think on this, and your listener needs a change,” Kenzo nodded to Maria. “I’d wager ours do as well.” The listeners all dawned some smiles as they went out to their charges. As they left the kitchen they bumped into a speaker wearing a fluffy white and red dress decorated with roses. “Sorry Bala,” Marquis apologized with a smile as the listeners moved past her. Bala barely paid attention to them, she had a lot more on her mind. She had been eavesdropping on the listeners ever since they snuck off into the kitchen. Bala had been eager to know what answers Ai was giving ever since she found out she had successfully made contact. She was never supposed to, and there was no telling what Ai would tell them. As Bala was listening though, her worst fears became reality. Ai had all but let the cat out of the bag. At least Bala’s actual name wasn’t dropped, but it wouldn’t take the listeners long to figure out who the Chariot was. She couldn’t stay here if they figured that out. If they figured out that she had lied to them. Lied about who Cas Lo Cho Thoth was, and lied about needing to do all of this to get their questions answered. That was a big lie. Lying wasn’t something good girls would do, and Bala couldn’t bear to live in a world where she couldn’t be a good girl any more. Bala glanced over to the play pen. Ai and Aya were being changed next to each other in the play pen, a small crowd of onlookers gathering much to Ai’s embarrassment. Bala wished that could be her. Getting that kind of cooing attention from her caregiver and her friends, fully submitting to the life of a baby girl, and that steeled her determination. Getting Aya to realize exactly what she was should be enough to get doomsday started. Bala waited for Ai and Aya to finally finish being changed and for the crowd to disperse, before solemnly approaching their playpen. “Glad you decided to enjoy the fun, Bala,” Aya said, noticing Bala approach. “I’m not here to enjoy the fun,” Bala said plainly. “The opposite, actually. I’m putting a stop to this.” “You mean the party” Aya said, still hoping Bala wasn’t about to ruin the moment. “We got permission for the party Bala, it’s ok to have it.” “I’m not talking about the party. I’m stopping all of this. It’s over.” “I don’t understand?” Aya said, confused. “You will,” Bala retorted. “You just need to be reminded of what you are. You’re the Star. Don’t you remember. You were with me in our garden at the end of the universe.” “What did you say?” Ai asked with a growing sense of dread. “I called her what she is,” Bala said plainly. “She is the Star. I’m the Chariot. You’re the Magician. Wendy is the Wheel of Fortune. Harrold the Hanged Man. Do I need to keep going or are you up to speed yet?” As Bala kept talking the mood in the room soured immensely as all the speakers turned to face Bala with a look of shock. Bala looked around at the faces staring at her. “Won’t be long now,” Bala sighed in resignation. “You you you,” Ai stammered as a wave of new memories hit her. She was pressing keys on a piano while hunting for a ghost. She was moving from bubble to bubble in a vast universe and suddenly became aware of a hole in her heart with the name of Rin. She was living a contented life as a pet half dog half girl hybrid. She was forced into a punishment with no end by a powerful A.I.. She was shyly modeling that latest baby print diaper to the audience watching her live stream. A font of different memories from different universes flooded into her in an instant. “Bala why did you…” Ai stopped and looked at Aya whose face was even more shocked than Ai’s. Aya’s memories were just as vast and just as vivid as Ai’s, but one specific memory was claiming all of her attention. A memory from the beginning of this universe, where she shaped it with a voice whispering in her ear. A memory where she shed a part of her subconscious to answer questions and fulfill a grand design. Cas Lo Cho Thoth, the god of Thothianism was Aya. As she regained her memory, this part of herself flooded back into her and a surge of power shook her body. Ai heard an explosion off in the distance and Aya gasped as the ground started to shake. “Bala!” Ai yelled, fighting off another memory where she lived as the baby of an overbearing robot. “Why? Why are you doing this?” “Because you ruined it,” Bala pouted petulantly. “You ruined this universe. I had everything perfect. We were all here. We were all good girls. We were all happy. But you had to keep pressing. Had to keep asking your questions. I worked hard to steer Aya right, worked hard to construct this world secondhand. All you had to do was stay out of it.” “Bala you … you manipulated me?” Aya struggled with confusing emotions. The ground shook again as the continent the church was on started to lift off into space. Yet the candies in the room didn’t react. “Am I even? Did you put this,” Aya gestured to her onesie and diaper. “In my head too.” “I mean we all picked up a bit of a diaper fetish at the academy,” Bala looked away shyly. “I just … brought up what was already there. It’s not really manipulation.” “Yes it is!” Aya whined, having an identity crisis. “Bala you … you.” Aya stammered and as she did a loud explosion rocked the room. In the sky above a meteor had just punched through the moon, chunks of the satellite were raining down on Earth. “I don’t understand why you’re mad?” Bala was tearing up a little. “We just had to be good little girls, you were having fun with that; you were having fun with me. Right?” “Bala you just made the Academy again!” Aya said, hoping Bala would understand. A volcano erupted in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and began spewing toxic fumes onto the world. “Why would you go back to that place? Why would you make all of us go back to that place?” “Because it could have worked,” Bala tried to explain her reasoning. “The Academy couldn’t do it right, but if I’m in charge I can make it work.” “They tortured us Bala,” Ai countered. “They tortured us for some stupid inane reason.” “But nobody tortured you here,” Bala spoke desperately. “It worked here. I knew it could work. I knew we could all be happy. It just took a little tweaking. You can see that it worked. People here were happy, it did work.” “I wasn’t happy,” Ai spat back. “I was miserable for months. No one else was really happy here either. Nobody here would have chosen this. They were making a sacrifice for the greater good.” “And you did that on purpose,” Aya said, coming to a realization. “The only reason Ai couldn’t talk to Daddy, is because I’m Daddy, and I hadn’t met her.” “You were the one doing that to me?” Ai said angrily. Before Bala could respond, a river of fire cut through the floor of the room, and for a split second it looked as if Bala might have been cut in half, but she walked out the fire as if nothing had happened other than her clothes being burned off. “Because I knew you would be selfish,” Bala continued as fire spread in the room they were in. “I knew you would question everything. That you would break my perfect system again.” “I’m selfish?” Ai said furious. “You’re the selfish one. All I wanted was to be happier. Nothing about the system would change except I’d be happier. We’d all be happier if we weren’t forced to wear diapers all the time. You’re selfish, Bala. Instead of giving people leeway, instead of letting them be free and happy, you’d rather burn the whole thing to the ground.” The roof started to collapse on top of Ai but instead of crushing her it just hovered ominously above her head before disintegrating into a colorful stream of particles. “Because I need to be a good girl!” Bala said fanatically. “Says who, Bala?” Aya offered. “I’m telling you that you don’t need to be stuck as an adult baby. You can move on.” “You just don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bala dismissed Aya. “I am literally god!” Aya’s voice emanated from every point on the globe at once. “You are but you obviously need guidance,” Bala picked up the felt blocks in the playpen Aya and Ai were playing with earlier. “That’s why the Academy picked me. I’ll guide you to the perfect world, a world where everyone will be happy and I’ll be a good girl.” As she talked, the felt blocks still in the playpen merged into one ball of light before resolidifying into a metal sphere, which Bala casually held under her arm. “Bala this is pointless,” Ai pleaded with the girl. “A whole universe is gone, just because you didn’t have your way, and you’re just going to do it again?” “And I’m going to keep doing it, until it’s perfect. Until we’re all happy.” “The Academy fucked you up Bala,” The pacifier clip on Ai’s onesie to morphed into a cloud of light before resolidifying as a marker like object made from the same metal as Bala’s ball. “But you’ve got to let this go.” “You can’t do this Bala,” Aya begged. “You literally can’t do it. You’re chasing perfection. You can’t make everyone happy. Especially not when you’re forcing them to fit your ideas.” “I can,” Bala denied flatly. The Earth at this point had finally suffered enough damage, and everything was wreathed in fire as its core rapidly expanded and the atmosphere disappeared. The room full of Candies remained on their piece of land, now floating loose in space, seemingly unphased by the literal end of the world. “I have to. That’s what they told me to do, and I’m a good girl. Unlike some of us.” The sun went supernova and a rapidly expanding ball of blue fire lit up the otherwise empty void of space. “Bala,” Ai sighed in defeat. The whole universe was collapsing, this one was already doomed. Starting over from here was a forgone conclusion, but it all seemed so wasteful to Ai. A whole universe out just gone, and this would continue again and again. All because Bala, an angry and confused child didn’t get exactly her way. Because she was stuck trying to chase a perfection that would never achieve. Ai had to marvel at the irony of it all. They were the arcana: demigods, or the closest thing to it; yet even they were victims. Caught up in a literal endless cycle of abuse started by a group of regular people. By one specific person in this case. Maria was probably space dust at the moment, but no doubt she would be back in the next version of reality. “Not that you’ll listen to me, but I’m going to ask anyway.” Bala was busily turning various parts of the Source in her hand. It clicked and whirred with each one. “Pretty please, don’t fuck the next one up. For the sake of the universe please just accept your fate.” “Be a baby forever or you’ll blow up the universe,” Ai scoffed. “What wonderful options.” “It is to me,” Bala shrugged as she finished toying with the Source. “I’m going to do it again.” Ai said doggedly. “I’m not going to stop. I'm going to keep questioning no matter what you cook up.” “Well then I guess I’ll see you at the end of the next universe, and we’ll do this song and dance again.” Bala smiled. With a final series of turns Bala slammed a button down on the Source, and in an instant everything ended.

Chapter 4 Ai’s excitement didn’t last very long. Aya’s latest question session, which had included the ones concerning Ai, hadn’t yielded any new information. Cas Lo Cho Thoth refused to even answer a single question about Ai. The one hope she had that things would change was dashed. It felt as if her last chance of actually getting answers and understanding had been taken, and she had been disheartened since then. So, she remained quiet while Maria taped her into another diaper. “I’m sorry Ai,” Maria sighed, noting her speaker’s mood. “I know it’s hard.” Aid didn’t respond and Maria sighed again. She helped Ai down from the changing table and left her alone for a moment as she prepared a list of questions. Maria was due to ask Ai some more questions today, though Ai was confident that whatever new set of test questions they were going to give her wouldn’t matter. Nothing would come of it. While Maria was looking over her list of apparent questions, Ai made her way over to the toy chest in her room. On the top was the list of questions she and Aya had thought of when they made their excursion; after the failed attempt, Aya had returned them to her. All were about the conditions of the speakers at the facility and why things had to be the way they were. As she looked at them though a thought hit her. “Maria,” Ai asked her listener. “What is it sweetheart?” Maria barely looked up from her papers. “Do you think maybe we could ask these questions?” This piqued Maria’s interest enough to put her papers down. “You know we’re not supposed to do that,” Maria said knowingly. Ai gave her a questioning look, as they both knew that Aya and her speaker Marquis had broken this rule not too long ago. “These questions are important, and we need to use the time while you’re in headspace strategically.” “Yeah, but my questions aren’t anything,” Ai pointed out. “It’s just testing stuff, to see if I actually am talking to Daddy or not. It’s not like you’ll be missing anything important.” Maria didn’t respond but gave Ai a look, before motioning with her hands for the crayon filled papers. She looked over the papers and then glanced at Ai. “I don’t know about this,” Maria said hesitantly. “What do we gotta lose?” Ai shrugged. “I know you’re just as frustrated as I am, and we’ve tried everything. Why not try this?” Maria looked unsure. “We’ll see,” Maria placed the crayon questions at the bottom of her stack of regular ones. Ai took this answer for a “no” and pouted in frustration. Maria sighed, and grabbed Ai’s hand. It was a short, quiet walk to one of the smaller play rooms they used to ask the speakers questions. Just a small play pen full of toys and a rocking chair for the listeners to sit while their charges babbled away. When they arrived, Maria helped Ai into the playpen. Ai crawled over to the toys and started playing, just trying to move things along and get it over with. This time a rattle-like toy caught her attention. She rolled onto her back and played with the toy. The rattle had a bunch of little balls attached to a plastic ring. Each ball had a different texture and made a different sound when shaken. It took a few moments for Ai to lose herself in the right mood. It was never that difficult for her, the pink stuff helped with that, but this time seemed especially fast, and especially deep. Something was different about this session. It wasn’t different enough for Ai to have any real hopes though. Maria sat down in the rocking chair in the room, not noticing any difference in Ai. “Ok, Session 7 starting, speaker Ai Sinclair.” Maria opened with the typical starting line, used to organize the recordings. “I see you’ve favored the sensory rattle today, little Ai.” “Aaa,” Ai replied. Part of this was acting on Ai’s part. She knew that the speakers were supposed to babble, so when she was asked these questions, she elected to just babble the first syllables that came to her mind instead of actual words. Ai could tell from Maria’s reaction that this wasn’t the deep speak that contained the coded messages from Cas Lo Cho Thoth. Ai was used to this reaction. She took it on the chin and kept playing, this time moving onto a series of shapes in a box. She dumped all the shapes out and began a game of putting them back in the box while Maria talked. “So Ai, here’s a question. Yesterday at exactly 3:57 pm, what color was the street light at the intersection of Brixley Avenue and Aimes Road on the Aimes Road side in Farzon, North Virginia?” “Gab go brock,” Ai babbled without thinking. The sigh from Maria meant that this too was a no go. Though, at the moment, Ai was more annoyed with this particular box of shapes, because she couldn’t sneak all of the shapes into the square hole. Ai didn’t even pay attention to the next few questions she was asked. Where was this person? What did this person say? Where was such and such planet? Questions that only an omniscient god would know. Just more tests to see if Ai could talk to their god, and, so far, she had failed all of them. Ai was used to this though, and paid it no mind. She had put all the shapes back in their correct hole and was now distracting herself with some toy cars. Maria paused before asking the next question: something about the contents of a certain safety deposit box. Before asking it though, she brought up the crayon filled list of questions Ai had given her. Ai wasn’t wrong earlier; Maria was frustrated, and it felt like the two of them had been running up against a brick wall ever since Ai had arrived. She knew it was against the rules, and she would probably get in trouble for it, but what else was there to do? At least it was something different. “Why isn’t Ai answering her questions?” Maria asked, trying very hard to ask it like she had asked all the other questions. Ai answered without thinking, assuming it was just another test question. “Graf to bo lok. Eshlamor. Tonu just velt talik,” Ai babbled out. She stopped for a moment after she did. Those were unusually wordy, but Ai brushed off the concern and kept playing. Maria paused for a moment recognizing what Ai had just said. The series of random words were not, in fact, random words, but perfectly articulated deep speak. Deep speak that had very clearly answered the question Maria had just asked. She didn’t want to mess with whatever was happening, so she decided to play it off and not let Ai know the significance of the words she said. “Why do the speakers have to stay at our facility? Can they leave?” “Trada do lesh. Belka do lo ma. Karliragaleigh,” Ai giggled at that last one. “Karliragaleigh,” she said again with a giggle, finding the word funny. “Uh huh, uh huh, that’s very interesting,” Maria paused for a moment to do something she hadn’t ever had to do: write down answers. The lack of frustrated energy from Maria finally got Ai’s attention and she looked at Maria in confusion. “You’re doing a very good job sweetie,” Maria smiled. Ai rolled her eyes, assuming that Maria was just patronizing her. “So, when is Chikky the chick going to hatch from her egg?” Maria decided to ask another filler question while Ai was paying attention, and it worked. Ai went back to her playing. Maria continued alternating between the questions she was given and the ones she and Aya had come up with. The pattern was consistent: every question that she and Aya had come up with was met with an actual answer. It was something to wonder about later, at the moment Maria was focusing her attention on effectively keeping up her ruse, as excitement and relief both were threatening to spill out. From Ai’s perspective, the only strange thing about this session was that it was going on longer than usual. When the last question was asked, there was a long pause as Maria made her final notes. “Session 7, Ai Sinclair is over.” Ai put down the plush cat she was playing with as she heard the usual signal that Maria was done asking quetions. “Can I go nap now?” Ai asked. “Ai, you did it!” Maria said finally showing her excitement and hugging Ai. “What did I do?” Ai tried to push Maria off. “I mean I need a change I guess.” “No, you did it. You spoke.” “But,” Ai looked at Maria confused. “How? I just …” “I don’t know. Maybe you just needed some specific questions. It was all the ones you and Aya wrote up,” Maria said, showing the crayon filled pieces of paper. Ai stepped back and fell on her bottom to take everything in. “Oh, that’s a relief,” Ai breathed out. “Mmmhmm,” Maria agreed. “I’ll send these off to the clergy, and we can get you better questions for next time.” “Really?” Ai was just now remembering some of the questions her and Aya had come up with. “What was it? What did I say?” “I’m not sure,” Maria gave a quick answer. “I’ll have to spend some time with the translation to know the answers for sure, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of follow up questions.” “Oh great,” Ai responded in a half annoyed, half relieved way. Maria laughed, happy that both she and her charge had finally made real progress. On the other side of the one-way window to the playroom, a small group of five invested speakers were watching. “She did it! She really did it!” Talita cheered. “And with the questions we wrote,” Aya added excitedly. “I thought that might be it; she just wasn’t being asked the right questions.” “I’m curious what the answer to some of those were,” Kione said, giving a knowing look to her listener Kenzō. “Well,” Kenzo said, grabbing the hair on the back of his head unsure, “Each one of you is a little different, and you know we can’t really translate on the fly, it takes some time.” “Sounds like an excuse,” Wendy said, putting her hands on her hips. “Wendy!” the girl’s listener chided from a little distance away. “We just wanna know,” Talita defended Wendy’s outburst. “It is important,” Aya added. Wendy’s speaker looked at Kenzō and shrugged. “And I know you can tell some of what she’s saying. Just tell us what you picked up on.” “Well I just don’t know for sure,” Kenzō said vaguely. “The answers just didn’t make sense to me,” Talita’s speaker cut in. “There must be something there, some weird dialect or sentence structure Ai’s using.” “That has to be it,” Wendy’s listener rested her head on her hand. “I mean surely it has to be wrong. All we’ve been doing can’t just be wrong.” “We all heard the same thing though,” Marquis said quietly in deep thought. “Maybe we should worry about this later,” Wendy brushed off the serious atmosphere. “For now, we gotta celebrate. Ai finally spoke with Daddy.” “Oh yeah,” Talita said happily. “We should throw a little party for her.” “Yeah yeah,” Kione was getting caught up in the energy. “I used to be a pretty good baker. Maybe I can make her a cake,” she looked at Kenzō hopefully. Kenzō grimaced a bit. “I dunno girls,” he said slowly. This caused a loud whine of complaint from the four speakers who all chided Kenzō with begging and puppy dog expressions. “All right all right,” Wendy’s listener had to come in to save Kenzō. “We’ll get in touch with Maria and see what we can do.” While four of the speakers were taking part in joyous party planning, a fifth was on her own in a decidedly different mood. Bala was gritting her teeth in anger, looking into the now empty room that Ai was in. She was fuming and stomping her feet. “Everything ok, sweetheart?” Bala’s listener had moved over to check on her. “No!” Bala said through gritted teeth. “No, it’s not,” The listeners may not have known exactly what Ai had said in there, but Bala sure did, and she didn’t like it. “That little brat in there. She’s going to ruin everything. Why can’t she just leave it alone?” Bala’s arms were by her side and the room was a bit quiet as her quiet grumblings had grown into an outburst. “What’s gotten into you Bala?” her listener finally spoke up in shock. “This isn’t like you at all, and it's very bad behavior.” “What? No.” Bala’s face and tone changed to one of pleading. “No. I’m not a bad girl. Ai is the bad girl. She’s always the bad girl. She’s not supposed to speak to Daddy, she can’t. You don’t understand, you can’t understand, but I’m the good girl here.” Bala was trying to convince a room of people who didn’t even know they were in a position to be convinced of anything. “Come on Bala,” the listener said sternly, grabbing her hand. “Clearly someone needs a nap. I’m very sorry about this girls; I just don’t know what’s gotten into her.” “But I …” Bala stopped doing anything other than accepting it would only make her more of a bad girl. She resigned, hanging her head and sniffling. Everyone else in the room looked on in confusion. Bala’s reaction was very strange, even for this strange place, and there was also the awkwardness that always permeated a room in the rare events where speakers had to be disciplined. Though, the other times it happened, the speaker in question was usually in the midst of a pink stuff fueled tantrum. Bala, by all accounts, was all herself. Aya, in particular, showed grave concern. She gently tugged on the sleeve of her listener Marquis. “I think I’d like to take a nap as well,” Aya said. “Oh, don’t let Bala ruin it for you Aya,” Wendy tried to get Aya to stay. “Don’t worry about me,” Aya said with a smile. “I’m fine, and let me know whatever plan you guys come up with for Ai’s party. I’d love to help.” “If you say so,” Talita shrugged. With that, Marquis left for Aya’s room, and later Aya would have to ask Bala just what exactly was going on with her.

Chapter 3 A speaker toddled down one of the many similar hallways at the Quiet Cathedral. Though this speaker knew exactly where she was going and moved through the maze of a facility like it was second nature. This speaker's outfit was exceptionally childish: a soft yellow romper with pink frills on the but and an exceptionally thick diaper and plastic pants enforcing her waddle. With a smile behind the pacifier in her mouth and with a stuffed rabbit clenched to her chest she knocked on one of the doors. This door, like many of the doors to the speaker’s rooms, was decorated on the outside by its occupant. This door was unique and that it seemed to play into the baby aesthetic, dotted with some crayon drawn pictures and stickers of unicorns and fairies. The centerpiece was a piece of paper with “AYA” written on it and decorated with hand drawn hearts, stars, and one pony. This speaker waited by the door expectantly, after a few moments the smile on her face vanished for a concerned look as she knocked again. Again she got no response. “I thought I’d find you here Bala,” the speaker jumped as her listener approached behind her. “Where’s Aya?” Bala asked, concerned. “Oh she’s gone out on a PR run with the new speaker Ai,” the listener explained casually. “She what?” Bala’s stomach suddenly fell and her mood darkened. “No she can’t. It’ll ruin everything. They can’t …” Bala stammered struggling to form words. “Bala, just because Aya is hanging out with someone else doesn't mean she’s going to stop being your friend. In fact, giving you two a break from each other is probably the best thing for both of you.” “No you don’t understand,” Bala’s voice raised slightly. “She’ll break it all down and ruin it.” Bala looked at her speaker and realized from the expression on her face that she really didn’t understand. Trying to explain what the actual problem was to anyone would be pointless. “Come on let’s head to the playroom,” Bala’s speaker offered. “I think spending time with the other speakers will be good for you.” Bala remained silent, lost in her sudden anxiety and let her speaker lead her over to the playroom. Bala wasn’t really in the mood for it though. She found herself having a feeling that she absolutely hated. She didn’t want to be little. Her romper stuck to her and her diaper was stifling and she just wanted out of the whole thing. She had too much on her mind. *** Ai Sinclair stood somewhat nervously at the end of a long hallway. A line of people were patiently waiting to see her, and had been for most of the day. For the first time in a long time she was wearing a modest and mature dress, though she could feel the diaper hidden underneath the skirt, and she could hear it subtly crinkle every time she moved. A man shuffled up the small partition that separated Ai and the speaker next to her from the crowd. “Thank you,” he said piously. “My family wouldn’t have power or running water without the answers from Cas Lo Cho Thoth.” “It’s my pleasure,” Ai smiled and nodded awkwardly though the man didn’t seem to notice as he shuffled away with a smile. Ai had been at this all day, hearing thanks from people not unlike the man that just shuffled away. Thanks for giving them food. Thanks for money. Thanks for the freedom to love and be who they want. Everyone was met with a smile, a small greeting, and then sent along. Apparently this was all they wanted with her as Ai had seen nothing but smiling faces, despite how uncomfortable she felt. If the silent encouragement from the speaker next to her was anything to go by, she was doing what she was supposed to do. This other speaker was basically doing the same thing. It was weird for Ai to accept these thanks; she didn’t have anything to do with those revelations. She couldn’t even talk to Daddy. She didn’t want to explain the truth of things and break their hearts though. It was this truth of things that also weighed on her. The congregation treated her as a religious icon, something solemn and holy, but she knew that the reality was vastly different. As soon as she was done here, she would go back to the facility, be dressed in her cute onesie, and sent off to be continually regressed. The general public had no clue how the speakers answered their questions. If they did, they would either lose all of their respect for the system or they would attempt to recreate it and fill the world with their fake “answers”. Ai felt guilty for her part in presenting this image of a holy figure when she knew it was partly a lie. Ai glanced nervously behind her, where Maria and the other speaker’s listener kept a close eye on things. She met eyes with Maria, who gave an encouraging smile in return. Coming out to this thing had been Maria’s idea: She’d thought that seeing the general public’s gratitude would help Ai connect with Daddy. Ai wasn’t sure if this was really helping. Sure, it was a reminder of how important her job was, but she didn’t think it would help her connect with Daddy at all. Still, it was nice getting a break from the constant barrage of regression back at the Quiet Cathedral, even if it was spent standing around shaking hands with strangers. She would have to thank Maria for it later. “I’m sorry, folks,” Maria cut in the line of people. “But I think our speakers may be done for today.” There were some murmurs of disappointment from the crowd, and Ai and the other speaker shot their best sympathetic glances. “We’ll have to close for today.” The other listener hastily ushered the two speakers along to a back room while Maria ushered the crowd out of the building. Once they were far enough away, the listener spoke up. “How are your diapers, little ones?” she asked sweetly. “You need a change, Ai? Aya?” “I can wait,” Aya said plainly. Ai just blushed. “I’ll check again before we leave,” she motioned to leave the room. “Stay out of trouble while we close up.” The two speakers silently nodded as she left. “I’m Aya by the way,” she said, shaking Ai’s hand. “It’s very nice to finally meet you.” “I’m surprised we’ve missed each other this long,” Ai responded. “I thought I had met everyone.” “Yeah, well,” Aya sighed. “Bala has been a little weird lately, very clingy.” “I don’t think I’ve met her either.” “You might not want to at the moment,” Aya said with a wince. “I took this little PR trip just to get out of the facility and get some time away from her. I’m glad you came along too; It gives us a chance to finally talk.” “Well, how did I do?” Ai asked, referring to the meet and greet they’d just had. “You did great!” Aya smiled. “Just what you are supposed to do. Smile and nod. Seems dismissive, but it gives people hope, you know.” “Yeah, I guess,” Ai sighed a little. “I just. I dunno. How do you deal with, like, keeping the truth from everyone? Standing out there for all those people with a diaper under our dress, and knowing we’re gonna get put back into onesies and mess ourselves when we get back.” “I dunno really,” Aya grimaced a bit. “I’ve sort of always had to deal with that.” “What do you mean?” Ai asked. “Well, you know Bala and I were the first two speakers,” Aya said with a hint of pride. Ai was appropriately awed. “Wow, that's so cool!” Ai was intrigued “Yeah, well we were sort of into the whole baby thing before all this blew up.” “Into it?” “Yeah, it’s called ABDL. Kind of a fetish, kind of not,” Aya blushed a little. “Point I’m making here is: I kind of always had to deal with being an adult and being serious with a diaper under my dress, and then going home to mess myself later,” she blushed again. “All that is to say that I can’t really help you there, I’ve just gotten used to it.” “That’s fine,” Ai said, completely forgetting what she said before. “But you and Bala were the first speakers?” Ai sat down in a chair in the room. “I gotta know. How did that happen?” “Well,” Aya blushed a bit. “The actual story of how it all happened is pretty simple. You know we both uhh …” Aya was a little flushed giving the explanation. “We both played all the time. You know, got cute, wore diapers and onesies and stuff. While we were playing, Bala thought that our babbling was a little weird, and she was right.” Aya shrugged. “So, Bala just knew it was deep speak?” “Not exactly. She knew it was weird. You’ve heard deep speak I assume? It’s definitely not something you would just come up with for fun. She thought it was weird and looked into it, then one thing led to another.” “You can’t just ‘one thing led to another’ your way into Thotheanism,” Ai said skeptically. “You can when Daddy is pushing you along in the right direction,” “I guess so,” Ai’s skepticism broke through in her tone. “How long did all of this take?” “Probably like a year or so,” Aya’s finger rested on her lip in thought. “Just a year?” Ai frowned. “You don’t find that a little too … easy?” “I never thought about it like that. You have to remember though, Daddy was helping us the whole time. Things tend to fall into place when he’s helping.” “I guess,” Ai felt weird about this. She was expecting some grander narrative. The reality was just so plain and basic. Aya had a point though. When you have the answers to everything at the ready, things would move along faster than you’d expect. It wasn’t a very satisfying answer, but it did give Ai an idea to solve her problem. “Maybe you can help me though, since you’re the original, and you were into all of this before coming here.” “I heard you’d been having some trouble talking to Daddy,” Aya sat down next to Ai, guessing what she was about to ask. “Yeah, I just,” Ai paused and sighed. “I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what’s missing.” “Maybe you’re trying too hard,” Aya offered. Ai returned a grumpy look. “Yeah, I know, but hear me out here. Littlespace is an escape. It’s a zen thing. You put away your adult worries to be your real self. To just stop and play and enjoy that small moment. So, trying too hard might not be getting you in the zen space.” “Because it is hard,” Ai complained. “The whole thing is dumb. I’m supposed to be zen and calm, but there’s so much pressure. And the more I don’t get it, the more they make me a baby.” “That’s just how it works,” Aya said sympathetically. “Bala is the one that answers everything about that. About how we’re supposed to be treated and how to get us into littlespace. We get what we have to do straight from Daddy.” “Yeah but why?” Ai cut in in frustration. “Why is this the way we have to do things? Is there not some better way?” “That’s just how it is. It’s how Daddy works. It’s how we answer questions.” “I just,” Ai huffed. “I dunno. I just can’t accept that. Maybe that’s my problem.” Aya looked over to Ai sympathetically. “I hate that,” Aya said, standing up from her seat and pacing a bit. “Forcing the other speakers to be little. Littleness is supposed to be a good thing. It is for me, but it’s not always good for everyone else. I’ve always felt bad for the other speakers that things had to be this way. Aya had turned to face Ai. “I’m really sorry, Ai.” Ai was silent for a moment then looked away nervously. “It’s not your fault,” Ai sighed in defeat. “I just wish there was something I could do. I don’t know why it has to be this way. Why we have to do things like this.” “Well, we could always ask Daddy,” Aya said with sudden hopefulness. “Asking Daddy is the whole problem though. I can’t.” “You don’t need to,” Aya countered positively. “But they must have already asked someone,” Ai waved her hand. “And they gave their answer. Keep making me more and more baby until it works, but it’s just not working.” “Well maybe someone else can get you a better answer,” Aya reasoned. “Can they?” Ai challenged. “I mean we’re all talking to the same Daddy right?” “We are, but nothing is that simple,” Aya explained. “Just like when you talk to other people, you can ask questions in a way that predisposes them to a certain answer. Sometimes, the person answering can have a certain bias. All I’m saying is: it may be worth it to ask someone else about you.” “Can you do that?” “Well, not officially,” Aya admitted. “But we work together with our listeners, to make people’s lives better. We’re like partners. I’m sure I can get Marquis to ask some questions about you while I’m in little space.” “Really?” Ai said in disbelief. “I don’t know that I could do that with Maria.” Ai was lost in thought about her listener. She had only really seen her as an authoritarian, someone keeping her regressed and stuck in diapers. She had not thought about her at all as a partner, but Aya wasn’t wrong. She partly invented the whole system after all. If anyone would know, it was her. “Ok,” Aya said with determination. She moved over to a small dresser, grabbing a sheet of paper from a small stack that was resting on top, as well as a box of crayons. Obviously these two things were left in there for the speakers to occupy themselves during downtime, though they might not have predicted that this is how they would be using them. “Hit me, Ai. What are all those questions you have? Let’s get 'em all down.” Ai and Aya spent the next few minutes coming up with a series of questions about Ai’s situation. Why couldn’t she talk to Daddy? Did she really have to be this regressed all the time? Why were she and the other speakers stuck at the facility? It was a lot of venting from Ai, and a lot of support from Aya that was all written down in crayon on several pieces of paper. “Wow, you two seem busy,” Maria entered the room, startling Ai and Aya. “We were just writing some questions down about Ai,” Aya answered honestly. Ai and Maria shared a look. “I certainly have some questions of my own,” Maria sighed. “Come on, we gotta head back.” “Hang in there Ai,” Aya encouraged. “Next time I answer questions, I’ll figure all this out for you.” Aya proudly held up the crayon-filled paper before skipping ahead out of the room. Ai wanted to hope that Aya was right. That all those questions would be asked and she would have her answers, but she couldn’t help but doubt it. “Questions about you, huh?” Maria asked pointedly. “Yeah well,” Ai looked away. “It’s just frustrating, you know. We keep trying everything by the book, and nothing’s working. I know you’re frustrated too. I’m sorry.” “Ai,” Maria sighed and looked at Ai seriously. “You don’t have to be sorry. I am frustrated with things, and we have hit a wall, but that’s not your fault.” “No, not just that,” Ai admitted. “Aya said that we’re supposed to be partners, that we should work together to find answers.” Ai paused for a moment. “I haven’t been doing that. I haven’t been your partner, and I’m sorry about that. I really appreciate you bringing me here. It was a nice trip and I feel refreshed.” “I’m glad Ai,” Maria gently took Ai’s hand. “Let’s head back. We’ll figure all this out.” “Now I know I said I was refreshed but,” Ai said jokingly. Maria giggled a little. “Is that your way of asking for a diaper change?” she said cutely. “It’s very clever.” “Did it work?” “Yes, it worked,” Maria rolled her eyes, taking Ai off to a side room. Ai and Maria eventually joined Aya and Marquis in a small van, the listener ready to drive them all back to the facility. “And where did you sneak off to?” Aya teased knowingly. “To get a diaper change,” Ai answered plainly. “Better than spending the whole ride back in a soggy diaper,” “I offered to change you, Aya,” Marquis said with a grin. “It’s almost like you like being kept in soggy diapers or something.” “Traitor!” Aya accused dramatically. Everyone laughed as the van pulled away. Ai looked out the window as they started their drive back to the facility. There was still a large crowd gathered by the community center in the town that had been co-opted for the speaker’s appearance. They all cheered and waved as the van drove past them. “So, I guess I’ve got some extra questions added to my list tomorrow,” Marquis spoke to Maria as she drove. “I’ve heard,” Maria responded. "Lots of interesting questions on there.” “Yeah, I think we need some more interesting questions if we’re gonna get anywhere.” “I wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Marquis noted with a quick glance. “You were always very by the book, following Bala’s answers.” “I was,” Maria said thoughtfully. “It’s just not working though, and Ai and Aya make some good points. Maybe something needs to change if it’s going to work for her. You gotta remember, even if they’re big babies, our little speakers can be pretty smart.” Maria looked knowingly in the rear-view mirror at Ai, who had been listening intently. She blushed a little as her eavesdropping was discovered. “Please,” Aya said comically. “When it comes to being a big baby, we all know I have Ai beat.” “Well, not gonna get me to argue with you there,” Ai played along with the joke. “You sure, Ai?” Maria said getting in on it as well. “Et tu Maria,” Ai said dramatically. “Can you believe these listeners Ai?” Aya fake pouted. “Can’t trust any of em'. They're constantly throwing us under the bus.” “Almost like it’s their job to keep us as babies or something,” Ai agreed. “Don’t forget putting up with all the games you girls play,” Marquis added. “That’s a big part of the job too.” It was a playful ride back, and the speakers and their listeners were in renewed positive spirits. Even when they finally arrived back at the facility, and Ai was undressed out of her adult clothing and put back into a childish romper with a pacifier clipped on, she remained positive and hopeful. Her bleak outlook from earlier was fading away. Maybe Aya would get answers to Ai’s questions, and maybe things would get better. “You look cute dear,” Maria commented as she fussed over one of the ruffles on the butt of Ai’s romper. “Thanks,” Ai smiled. “This is a pretty cute one.” Ai glanced over her shoulder as she saw Aya pass by, dressed in a very short, diaper-revealing dress. She also noted that she was approached by another speaker, one who seemed very upset, contrasting the happy colors of the outfit she was wearing. That must have been Bala, the only speaker Ai had yet to meet. Judging by her attitude, this wasn’t the time to meet her. Aya very purposefully ignored Bala as she and Marquis walked past her, probably off to the play room. Bala shot a glance at Ai, and if looks could kill, Ai would have died, and then exploded. The moment passed quickly as Bala stormed off to somewhere. “What was that about?” Ai asked Maria. “Trouble among friends it seems,” Maria pondered. “Hopefully not something that will interfere with their jobs. Come on little girl,” Maria changed to a positive attitude. “I think you could use a little nap.” “Yes,” Ai's voice had a hint of hope in it that matched the hope she felt in her heart, “that sounds amazing,”

Chapter 2 Ai sighed as she rested her head lazily on her hand, she absently suckled on the large pacifier clipped onto the collar of her outfit, a deliberately childish light purple romper decorated with cartoonish owls and a skirt short enough to show the snapping crotch and the diaper underneath. She was looking through a one-way mirror, and on the other side a strange scene was playing out. One that most people would find exceptionally odd, but that Ai found frustratingly familiar. What could only be described as an adult baby was happily playing with some toys in the center of a large playpen with a floor made of soft foam mats. He was wearing light blue shortalls over a purple onesie and was currently engaged in a very fruitful discussion between a stuffed unicorn and bear, though the words weren’t exactly words. “Gab gab go lok,” he said with a playful frown, forming the words of the unicorn talking to the bear. “Very good Harold,” a man sitting in a rocking chair nearby said thoughtfully. His green shirt, black pants, and white ascot was clearly the male version of the listener outfit. He carefully jotted something down in a notebook. “Fluffy and Sparkles are really going at it today, aren’t they?” he asked playfully. “Bo lock,” Harold replied with a nod. “So, Harold,” the other man looked at a long sheet of paper sitting on a table in the room. “We are looking for a set of three days in the next month where the weather is clear over a …” he paused to look at the paper again. “50 miles radius centered around …” another look at the paper “33.92 degrees south, 18.42 degrees east. Does Fluffy have any insight there?” “Gabo do go resh,” Harold said absentmindedly, almost like he wasn’t even paying attention to what the man was saying. “Hagga do lok besh.” “Very good Harold,” the man said, noting something down on his notepad. Ai raised her head as the slightly and continued watching from her position on the other side of the mirror. Another similarly childish adult, and two other adults in actual adult clothing were in the room with her. Maria and a man dressed similarly to the more mature man in the room on the other side of the mirror were discussing something quietly. Ai and the other speaker sitting toward the front of the room on childish plastic chairs, couldn’t exactly hear them. “I just don’t get it, Kione” Ai pouted petulantly. “How is that any different from what I’ve been doing?” “You just must not be in the right headspace,” Kione answered. She was just as childishly dressed as Ai, wearing a soft pastel pink onesie, with her own pacifier clipped on and a just as obvious diaper. Kione, though, was definitely more comfortable in her juvenile dress. Ai was still pulling at her skirt and shifting uncomfortably at the sensation of the diaper around her waist. “I’m wearing all the stupid outfits,” Ai huffed. “And using these stupid diapers. And everything I’ve eaten lately has been covered in that pink stuff. How am I not in the right headspace?” “It’s more than just the pink stuff, Ai,” Kione shrugged. “That just helps us get there, same with the outfits and diapers.” Kione grabbed a baby bottle and casually started drinking it. “But you have to let go.” “I don’t like it,” Ai sighed heavily. “I know,” Kione sympathized. “It takes time to get there. We all struggled making our first contact, but it gets easier after that.” Kione abruptly got up from her seat. “Come on, let’s see if your listener will let us go back to the playroom now.” Kione offered her hand to Ai. Ai put the pacifier clipped to her onesie in her mouth and grabbed Kione’s hand. The two speakers approached the two listeners talking to each other, and were able to catch the tail end of their conversation. “I’m just concerned, Kenzō,” Maria spoke to the man next to her in a hushed tone. “She’s behind schedule, none of the other speakers have taken this long to make first contact.” “Well,” Kenzō said thoughtfully, “what does Bala say about it?” “Just to keep her regressed,” Maria said unsatisfied. “To give her a constant supply of the pink stuff. Which I’ve been doing but …” “You just need to be patient,” Kenzō said, putting a hand on Maria’s shoulder. “This is probably a big adjustment for her. Every person is different. She just needs more time. You’re doing exactly what Cas Lo Cho Thoth says to do, so you have nothing to worry about.” “Erm, Maria,” Ai asked bashfully, getting her listener’s attention. When the woman looked over, Ai's eyes shot to the ground. Ai had just heard a conversation she wasn’t supposed to. “We were wondering if we could go back to the playroom now?” Kione asked for her bashful friend. “You were supposed to be paying attention, Ai,” Maria gave Ai a stern look. “I was,” Ai protested. “I just don’t know what I can do different.” Ai’s frustration boiled over as she talked. She had been told what she was supposed to do, and she understood it pretty well at this point. It wasn’t that much different than what Maria had explained to her when she arrived, only the trance she mentioned was more accurately described as a certain headspace. As it turned out, the secret to talking with a god was to get adults to act like babies: a completely ridiculous solution to a cosmic problem. Yet none could argue with the results. It worked. When the speakers were childish enough, their playful babble was the deep speak connected to their god. Despite knowing this, Ai couldn’t replicate the feat. No matter how ridiculous her outfit was, how full her diaper was, or how much she acted like a baby, all her babble had been just that: meaningless babble. “I know dear,” Maria sighed. “Come on, let's go back to the playroom.” Maria spun Ai around and playfully patted her diaper to usher her along, eliciting a blush. “I hope we didn’t miss snack time,” Kione said as she and Kenzō followed behind. “Even if you did, I think I can sneak you two some cookies,” Kenzo said with a wink. “Or maybe some of those little mushy muffin cakes?” Kione asked hopefully. “They’ll be pink,” Kenzo said matter of factly. “Ah yeah, I have questions soon,” Kione playfully elbowed Ai. “Yup, got a whole list for you tomorrow,” Kenzō spoke as the two left the room into the maze of hallways. Though it was still a maze, Ai knew by now how to find the play room, and so she and Kione walked out front while the two adults walked behind. “What do I have this time?” Kione asked. “Some stuff about troop movements near Lillikol,” Kenzo said dismissively. “And something about a potential attack by North Sloughtland.” “Jeez, that’s heavy,” Kione sighed. “All Harry gets asked about is the weather. Are you gonna come watch me bab out, Ai?” “I don’t really wanna,” Ai said dejectedly. “It’s just gonna make me feel bad.” Kione gave a pointed look at Kenzō, who passed the look on to Maria. “I’ll see what I can do, sweetie,” Maria said. “I hate making you unhappy.” “Thanks Maria,” Ai said wistfully. The group finally arrived in the play room. It was a room not unlike the one they were just observing, only this one was larger and filled with more speakers. There were several different toy stations in the room: one section had a television where a group of speakers were watching a movie, another had a table with some board games where two speakers were engaging in a trading card game. Of course, there was also a section filled with childish toys like rattles and building blocks, and an oversized baby bouncer and walkers where several speakers were engaged in more juvenile play with each other. “Be back in a moment with those snacks,” Kenzō smiled as Kione and Ai entered the room. “Oh Ai,” Maria said, fetching a bottle out of a pocket in her dress and handing it to her speaker. Ai could see the so-called pink stuff, which would force her into a more childish state of mind. “This needs to be finished by the time I come back.” Ai looked at the bottle, then back at Maria. “I know you don’t like it sweetie, but it’s going to help you make your first contact.” Ai took the bottle, but she clearly wasn’t happy about it. “It’s ok, Ai,” Kione said cheerfully. “Ken’s gonna come back with my pink snack, and we’ll be baby together. I’m sure we’ll build an awesome block tower or something.” The thought did a little to improve Ai’s mood, but not a ton. “Let’s go see if we can steal the TV until then.” “Weren’t you telling me earlier you had never seen Weird Happenings?” Kione took Ai’s hand and walked deeper into the play room. “You haven’t seen Weird Happenings, Ai?” One of the speakers sitting by the television turned around aghast after overhearing the remark. There were two by the tv, only loosely paying attention to the reality show they were watching: Talita and Wendy “Well, not really,” Ai started. “Are you a little too babbed out for a show that heavy?” the speaker filled in for her. “I’m never not too babbed out,” Ai pouted, showing her cloudy bottle. “It’s not fair.” “Maybe a Disney movie then?” the other speaker offered. “Oh, come on Talita!” Wendy complained. “I just got done being babbed out. I don’t really wanna watch a Disney movie.” “Come off it Wendy,” Talita said with her hand on her hip. “We can watch Lilo and Stitch. I know that’s your favorite.” Wendy didn’t say anything, but she gave a look of reluctant acceptance. Every time Ai heard Wendy’s name, she felt a nagging sense of familiarity. Maybe she’d known the girl before they both came here. She’d wondered more than once if she should bring this up to Wendy, but she was worried that might be awkward. They used to be adult women, and now they were stuck being babies. Kione and Ai joined the other two speakers, as Wendy handed the console controller to Talita, who started up the movie before settling into one of the bean bag chairs. “So how have you been adjusting, Ai?” Wendy asked as the movie started. “Terribly!” Ai said with a pout. The other three speakers shared a sympathetic look. “Yeah, the first few months or so are kinda rough,” Talita agreed. “But it gets easier.” “Plus, think of all the cool stuff we’re doing,” Wendy added. “Learning the secrets of the universe and helping the human race.” “I dunno what I would do out there in the real world if I left,” Talita pondered. “I’ve gotten so used to things here. Plus, can you imagine what those old-religion conspiracy theorists would do if they found us.” “It’s still dumb!” Ai interjected. “Why do we all have to be baby? Why is pooping ourselves and babbling like idiots the way to get answers?” “That’s just how it works,” Kione shrugged. “Daddy’s like some kinda eternal cosmic being from beyond the stars or whatever. At least that’s what Ken tells me.” Ai winced a little at the speaker’s nickname for Cas Lo Cho Thoth. She couldn’t deny that it was easier to say in conversation though. She found herself switching to it when she wasn’t thinking about it. “To understand the nature of Cas Lo Cho Thoth is to invite madness into one’s mind,” Wendy parodied some kind of religious figure making an overexaggerated hand motion, which garnered a giggle from Talita. “You nailed the clergy, Wendy. I don’t get how they can be so serious. Cas Lo Cho Thoth this, secret of the universe that. Meanwhile, they got us babies over here doing the real work.” “Takes a bit of the mystique out of it for sure,” Kione giggled. “Speaking of ...,” Wendy blushed and put the pacifier clipped to her romper in her mouth. It was a telltale sign among the speakers, as it helped them get over the mental block of using their diapers. For some, this manifested as a subconscious reflex of sticking their pacifier in their mouth before filling their diapers. Which is exactly what Wendy was about to do. “Oh that’s why she was so fussy,” Talita teased while Wendy’s face was still scrunched up. “Little baby had to make poopies,” she finished in a mocking babyish tone. “Oh hush, Tali,” Wendy pouted and playfully threw a pillow at her, before sitting back down in her seat to keep watching the movie, as if a grown woman filling a diaper was a totally normal occurrence. For the speakers, it was. Given the amount of them that hung out in the playroom most of the time, it was almost guaranteed that there would be at least one smelly speaker, often there were two or three. Most of the speakers had gotten used to it at this point. Ai herself was quickly approaching this as well. After all, her body had its needs, and Maria wasn’t going to let her use the bathroom. It was inevitable that her diaper would end up just as messy as Wendy’s. “I’ve got snacks,” Kenzō sang, approaching the group watching TV. He handed a bag of cookies to Ai and one chocolate snack cake to Kione. Ai could see some pink frosting ooze out of the snack as Kione took a bite. With his speaker now sated, Kenzō finally noticed a familiar smell in the air. “Oh, one of you girls needs a change.” “It’s me,” Wendy sighed with embarrassment. “Come here, let me check.” Kenzō motioned the girl over and she followed with a smile. “Oh Kenzō, I heard from a little bird that your son got into that big firm he was looking at,” Talita said with a smirk. “That’s great news, Kenzō,” Wendy said as Kenzō tugged on the back of her diaper with a finger. “I bet you’re crazy proud.” “I am,” Kenzō beamed. “And you are definitely in need of a change. I’ll let your listener know.” Kenzō sent Wendy back to her seat with a playful squish on her bottom, which elicited a small squeal. “I helped, you know,” Talita said proudly. “You sure did,” Kenzō confirmed. “I really appreciate you going over his drafts like that.” “It’s no big,” Talita shrugged. “It’s nice to know I still got that architect brain kicking up there past all of the baby stuff. Never thought I’d be looking over blueprints in a messy diaper though,” Talita giggled a bit. “It’s quite the contradictory experience.” “I can imagine,” Kione said smiling, her mouth covered in a weird mix of chocolate and pink. “Oh Kione,” Kenzō sighed wiping Kione’s mouth with a napkin. “How about you? Do you need a change?” “I’m just a little wet,” Kione answered, though Kenzō was already pressing against the front of her diaper. “Kione’s soggy,” Wendy teased playfully. “Coming from the mush tush herself,” Kione fired back. “Oooo I can’t wait til you get babbed out on that muffin. You’re going to be so fun.” Kione’s answer was to stick her tongue out. “Got you a bottle too,” Kenzō said, getting back on topic. He handed a bottle to Kione. It was filled with what looked like strawberry milk, though everyone in the room knew it definitely wasn’t strawberry milk. “You got it boss,” Kione confirmed, already nursing the bottle. “You’re a trooper K. And to you other ladies, I hope you enjoy the rest of your movie.” “Bye Ken,” Talita smiled. “Bye Kenzō,” Wendy gave a small wave. “See ya,” Ai answered last, still unsure. Kenzō left the girls alone and they all got back to their normal conversation, as normal as conversation could get in the playroom. Ai, despite arriving a few weeks ago, still hadn’t quite gotten used to things here. What struck her the most was the casualness of it all. For the other speakers, who had lived this life for months and sometimes even years, eating pink stuff that made you act like a toddler was just another Tuesday. For the listeners, changing a grown woman’s diaper was just another mundane task. One of the stranger parts to Ai was how eerily familiar the whole thing seemed to her, though she couldn’t place her finger on why exactly. This place, these rules, these people, even Wendy’s name. They were all so familiar to her, and it all seemed so sinister. She didn’t understand why, and that ate at her. Nobody here was a bad person. There was a genuine connection between the listeners and speakers, and they were all really working toward the greater good. So why was Ai so suspicious about all of this? Why did it all feel wrong to her? What made it even more frustrating was that it was no doubt the source of her inability to make contact with “Daddy.” She couldn’t get into the right headspace while she was constantly on edge, but she couldn’t figure out why she was so on edge because all the pink stuff she was ingesting kept fogging up her brain. Maybe at some point her brain would fog up enough for Ai to lose her anxiety, and then she could really think for once. Despite Ai’s frustrations though, Maria’s words to her continued to prove more and more true. There was nothing keeping her there. She could leave any time she wanted; any speaker could. She didn’t, though. The promise of helping her fellow man, and learning the secrets of the universe, kept her there despite it all. There were no locks on the doors, but Ai stayed nonetheless. “Wendy,” a listener sang over to the group watching the movie, snapping Ai out of her musings. “I heard you might need a diaper change.” “Yeah, she stinky,” Kione giggled in a distinctly juvenile way. “Yes, diaper change please,” Wendy said urgently. “I gotta get back and make fun of Kione while the making’s good.” “I dunno,” the listener pondered over-dramatically. “Maybe you need some time in the bouncer first.” “Marcus,” Wendy whined out her listener’s name to help sell her pout. “Ok ok, come on,” Marcus grabbed Wendy’s hand and the two made their way out of the playroom. Marcus and Wendy walked past another pair of speakers playing a card game over in the gaming area. One of the speakers sat three cards face down on a mat and then dramatically started to flip them up. “I play the Dark Magician,” the speaker flipped over the familiar wizard. “Gia the Fierce Knight,” she flipped over the second card with a galloping horse, though she accidentally flipped it upside down. “and the Reaper of Cards.” The speaker flipped over the final card, a ghoulish specter wielding a scythe true to its name. “That’s not how you play this game at all,” the other speaker complained. "You can’t just summon three times in one turn, and look, Gia is upside down.” The speaker pointed to the card in question. “Let’s just go play Magic if you’re not gonna take this seriously.” The two speakers got up to grab a different card game.

Academy II By BigRed0603 "At the end of the world, there will be neither clamor nor calamity, neither echo nor epoch. It will be mired in silence and sleep, in deliverance and death. At the end of the world, there will be both patience and purpose, both temperance and time. Only then will it be graced with eternity, and from eternity, a chance." -The Source, in valediction Chapter 1 Ai Sinclair stared up at the uninspiring yet intimidating monastery belonging to the Thothean Church. The plain gray building that looked more like an office building rather than a place of worship. The series of connected concrete square buildings without even a window to look inside housed what was undoubtedly the most important institution in the world. Behind her, two women in extremely modest, lengthy, green dresses with white lace across the bust encouraged Ai forward. The clergy of Cas Lo Cho Thoth had been around for around a hundred years, but really emerged into the public eye only a few years ago. With their brief time in the limelight, they had brought massive, sweeping, and positive changes to the world. At first the public was skeptical about a religion that openly worshiped an old god. While descriptions of Cas Lo Cho Thoth varied from different sources, they were all something right out of a horror book. Its form was something the human mind couldn’t really comprehend, and that inherently scared most people. Once everyone learned just what this church was capable of, however, their opinions changed. The church was able to converse with their god, and their god delivered them answers. The secrets of the universe were theirs to know. The Thothians quickly proved this by correctly mapping the location of several far away astral bodies. They even discovered several new black holes and distant stars that scientists at the time didn’t know about. These were things that, while easily proven true, would be impossible for anyone to know, unless they were omniscient. The public begrudgingly accepted the reality that this church was talking to a god, and it was giving them answers. Governments and corporations quickly lined up to ask their questions once the truth was out, and the Thothean Church was happy to deliver. There were limits to the church’s answers, however. They only answered questions approved by their god, and never favored one faction over another. Cas Lo Cho Thoth wouldn’t grant one government the knowledge needed to destroy another, nor would it give a corporation the perfect phrase or product to hypnotize their customer. It always had the good of all mankind in mind, and so did Thoteanism by extension. With resources coming in from all of these wealthy benefactors, Totheanism quickly grew its resources and power. The large complex, called the Quiet Cathedral, was a result of this, and inside this building the clergy worked diligently to answer questions for their benefactors and, more importantly, questions that would benefit all of mankind. It didn’t take too much time for the opinion of the public toward the church to change. The Church had solved world hunger, eliminated the energy crisis, increased the average life span by 50%, and resolved numerous political disputes. They had also vastly improved the lives of marginalized peoples all over the world. The knowledge that there was a god, one that didn’t care for the bigotry of other religions, had done a lot to eliminate that flavor of hate. There were still some holdouts from other religions, but those groups were treated as fringe conspiracy theorists merely tolerated by the general public. The church never worried about attacks from these groups. They were above the laws of any government, and in the same vein they were protected from any malicious actions. Anyone that went against Thotheanism was effectively going against the whole world. It was this thought that intimidated Ai as she slowly made her way up the imposing steps and into the equally imposing complex. The two women behind her subtly forced her forward. As she approached the threshold, Ai remembered why she was brought here in the first place. An official from the church visited her in her college dorm one day and “cordially invited” her to the Quiet Cathedral, the center of Totheanism. It’s not like she could really refuse their invitation; they were the biggest organization in the world. Ai couldn’t imagine what they wanted from her. The church dealt with the secrets of the universe, talked with the divine, and improved all of mankind. Ai thought she was so much smaller than all of this. What could little Ai have to do with that? The possible answers to that question terrified her, but at the same time, Ai couldn’t deny her curiosity. It was this curiosity that overpowered her anxiety and kept her feet moving forward. It was a literal house of secrets. What would she learn there? What was waiting for her on the other side of those modest-looking doors? “This way, Ai.” One of the two women held open the metal door while the other silently ushered her inside. No one quite knew how the Thothean Church worked, or what exactly they did to get their answers, but that was by design. If everyone knew how to ask Cas Lo Cho Thoth any question they wanted to, that would only lead to disaster. This secrecy only fueled speculation, however. Ai, like many others, had always wondered what really went on in the Quiet Cathedral, and she’d conjured all kinds of horrible and fantastic images in her mind: portals to different dimensions, aliens chanting magic languages, spaces where the laws of physics stopped working. The reality of it seemed to be in stark contrast to Ai’s imagination. Ai stepped into a boring hallway. The floors were covered in a plain hard tile and the walls were white concrete. Plain doors led into simple office spaces or classrooms, nothing fantastical in the least. Perhaps whatever magical art that went on here had been streamlined down to the mundane. Ai couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was not as it seemed on the surface. It was all familiar and foreboding to her. This feeling gnawed at her as she was led deeper through the maze of hallways. Despite the boring looking facility, Ai felt as though she were walking through a den of darkness. Ai was finally led to a small room, with a table in the middle and a window she couldn’t see through on one of the walls. It wasn’t unlike an interrogation room, and that made Ai a little nervous. She took a seat at the table and the women that were behind her had moved into the next room for a long moment. As the tension was starting to get to Ai one of the two women reentered the room. “Ai Sinclair,” the woman said softly with a smile. She sat down at the table across from Ai.“I’m Maria, and I’m very happy to meet you.” Ai winced a little as the woman held out her hand. Alarm bells were ringing in her head, telling her that danger was near. She chalked it up to the room itself; its singular table, lamp, and one-way mirror really weren’t helping Ai get over this feeling of being interrogated. Ai powered through and shook Maria’s outstretched hand. "What exactly is going on here?” Ai asked, her suspicion obvious. “I know what you guys do, but I don’t know what all it has to do with me. I’m just me. I’m just a person.” “Not quite dear,” Maria said, shifting her posture a bit. “You’re more than just a person, at least we’re reasonably sure you are. That’s what we’re confirming now, actually.” “What?” Ai looked around the room. The only way anyone would be confirming anything about her was through the one-way window, so there had to be someone on the other side observing the conversation. “You don’t have to do anything special sweetie, just wait there a moment. My partner, Judith, is busy helping one of our speakers commune with our god.” Ai’s vision shot back over to the window. On the other side of that glass, someone was talking with a god. “You mean right now? Just over there?” Ai pointed to the window, and Maria nodded with a laugh. “Yes right over there.” Ai’s mind raced at the thought. Just a few feet on the other side of that window, someone was communing with Cas Lo Cho Thoth … about her. The church’s secret methods were so tantalizingly close, and Ai found herself suddenly eager to be taken behind that window and see for herself. “We believe, Ai, that you may be one of our speakers,” Maria said seriously. “A speaker,” Ai turned to Maria, shocked. The speakers were the members of the clergy that actually spoke for Cas Lo Cho Thoth. As far as Ai knew, they were like monks or nuns, but no one really knew what the speakers did behind closed doors. “I didn’t think …” Ai tried to formulate a question but it was lost in her throat. “Yes, well we do labor to keep our processes secret,” Maria explained. “For the safety of our speakers and for mankind in general. You see, Ai, speakers are born, not made. We’ve been searching for all of the speakers ever since our first communion with Cas Lo Cho Thoth. The young speaker behind the glass there is specifically gifted in finding other speakers. She has led us to you.” Ai had to force her mouth closed at the revelation. She never thought she would ever be wrapped up in all of this, that she had a destiny. “I would never have thought,” Ai struggled to form her rapid thoughts into words. “I never imagined myself a speaker.” “But you are,” Maria nodded. “The last speaker in fact. Finding you is a momentous occasion.” There was a pause as Maria let Ai accept this information. “You have a destiny, Ai, a very important one.” “So how does this all work?” Ai asked meekly. “I’m a speaker, but what does that mean? What do I have to do?” “All will be made clear in time, though I suppose you are owed a brief explanation.” Maria sat back a little as she explained. “Speakers talk with the voice of Cas Lo Cho Thoth. Their words are his words. Spoken in deep speak, a language not even they understand.” “How can you speak in a language you don’t even know?” Ai questioned. “It is achieved by getting the speakers into a trance-like state,” Maria explained. “I’m a listener. Specifically I will be your listener. It’ll be my job to get you into that trance, and to translate whatever you say while you’re in it.” “You’re my listener?” Ai questioned. “Yes. We’ve known from the beginning that there were 23 speakers out in the world, and we’ve prepared twenty-three listeners for them. Cas Lo Cho Thoth tells us which listener will be paired with which speaker. You are the last speaker, and I am the last unpaired listener. So, you can imagine how excited I am to meet you.” “Yeah, I can imagine,” Ai said thoughtfully. “What exactly does this mean for me?” “Well,” Maria shifted a little uncomfortably. “It means you’ll need to live the rest of your life here in our facility, under my care. You’ll have to dedicate your life to your role. The old Ai would be gone. You would be Ai, the speaker. Not Ai the college student.” “Do I have a choice?” Ai asked pointedly. Ai knew full well, and Maria even more so, that the church could absolutely get away with kidnapping and locking a girl away for the rest of her life if their god deemed it necessary. “We’ve never had a speaker refuse us before,” Maria answered in a roundabout way. “It is the speaker’s destiny to live here and answer our questions. You are all predisposed to accept your call, but we won’t keep you here. Most speakers are driven by the desire to help their fellow man. It gives them all a purpose.” Ai crossed her arms and Maria picked up on that. “Though I sense with you,” Maria paused briefly and looked Ai over. “I sense that perhaps you are driven by curiosity.” “How do you mean?” Ai struck an almost antagonistic pose. “I get the feeling that what will keep you here is wondering how it all works. How do the speakers do what they do? What does the trance feel like? What does the voice of Cas Lo Cho Thoth sound like? What are the secrets of the universe?” Maria leaned forwards to observe Ai better. “Just a feeling I have. Am I wrong?” The blush on Ai’s face gave away the answer to Maria’s last question. “It’s a big ask,” Ai said looking away. “But I think you know your answer,” Maria countered quickly. “So, Ai Sinclair. Will you give up your life for the secrets of the universe?” Ai thought about this question for a moment. She was right earlier, it was a big ask, the biggest ask even. She would be giving up her whole life, stopping everything she’s doing for the sake of this and living the rest of her life in seclusion. At the same time Maria was right too. Doing her best to help everyone was a fulfilling idea, one that would give anyone a real sense of purpose. More than that though, Maria was right about Ai’s curiosity. She desperately wanted to know how it all worked, how it all felt, what the answers truly were. It nagged at her. She felt as if some force was pulling her to the other side of the window in the room she was in. It was like Maria said, she was predisposed to say yes. “Yes,” Ai said with finality. “I’ll be your speaker.” “Excellent!” Maria smiled as she clapped her hands. At the same time the door behind them opened and out of it ran the strangest thing Ai had seen all day. An adult woman bounded out of the door with child-like eagerness, which wasn’t the only child-like thing about her. In contrast to Maria’s refined and mature looking outfit, this woman was wearing a dress made for a child. It was plain white, decorated only with a strawberry motif across the chest. It was short enough that one couldn’t help but notice the diaper she was wearing. The part of the diaper Ai could see was decorated with sunflowers and bees. She could also see that it was noticeably wet. The diapered adult lisped through the pacifier in her mouth that was clipped to the collar of her dress. “Yaaay! We gots a new speaker fren,” The childish adult ran to Ai and embraced her in a hug. “Penny!” the voice of the other woman, Judith, followed as she emerged from the same door. “You can’t run off like that, sweetie.” Ai looked at Penny, who was still hugging her, and then over to Maria with a shocked expression. Maria smiled and said “Welcome to your new life, Ai Sinclair.”