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Ylanya let herself be led across the room, and sat on a strange device. Black, upholstered with padded black leather and long enough to lie on, she was sat on it sideways then Ellen bent down before her, grasped both of Ylanya's ankles and swung them up onto the padding. The device was wider by her feet than where she sat, and narrowed further behind her. Ellen pulled gently on Ylanya's shoulders to make her lie down, revealing that the padding was just the right length for a tall person, still wide enough to support shoulders and head. There seemed to be televisions at the end, strangely facing the ceiling, a confusing configuration. Ylanya tilted her head forward again as she felt something being pulled across the top of her chest, trapping her arms against her side. Ellen was fastening a sturdy strap that snapped into place near her arm. "What is that for? Why are you doing that?" she asked in confusion, trying but unable to sit up. Ellen didn't answer, just leaned down and drew another strap across Ylanya's waist. Ylanya wriggled and tried to escape but with her arms already restrained she could only use her legs for leverage, and Ellen swiftly sat across them both, the slim woman's weight enough to hold Ylanya down. "It's ok," Ellen said, breaking her silence with a gentle tone, "The straps are to keep you safe, stop you falling out and hurting yourself. But since you seem agitated by them, let's give you a sense of security." She reached down below the device and without sitting fully upright, wrapped something around Ylanya's wrist. A loud click and Ylanya realised her arm was now fastened to the waist strap, letting her bend her elbow only a little and forcing her hand to stay by her side. "Ellen, stop!" she demanded, "I don't like where.." She stopped at that point herself. Ellen had taken advantage of the open mouth to fill it, the taste of latex separating her teeth, holding her tongue to the bottom of her mouth. Ylanya could have screamed and made noise but surprise left her speechless, stopped her even resisting as the gag was strapped in place, soft leather bindings on both sides going above and below her ears, more clicks as something locked them into place. Ellen moved around and fastened Ylanya's other wrist, then stepped away briefly. She came back carrying a bag and put it down near Ylanya's feet, then pulled off each of Ylanya's shoes, the slingback heels sliding easily off her nylon clad feet. Stepping forwards Ellen pulled Ylanya's skirt up to her waist, causing a shiver in the supine woman. Ylanya didn't resist as her tights and panties were pulled down, knowing she had little choice, knowing that this had always been likely. The only things she didn't know were whether she wanted it or not, and what specifically was about to happen. She'd known that when she signed up for this a week ago. "Stress relief," promised the advert, "Escape your responsibilities and properly relax." She liked the sound of letting go for a while, letting someone else worry about everything, having someone care for her every need. The advert had hinted at massage, suggested a soothing experience, offered tantalising inferences that a little more than that was part of the deal. Ylanya would never have visited a prostitute, didn't want to pay for sex, hadn't even slept with a woman, but a soothing massage that included intimacy? That was ok. Wasn't it? Her thoughts returned sharply to the present as she felt Ellen's arm reaching below her knees, drawing them up. Ylanya decided she was paying enough for this, may as well co-operate and enjoy it, raised her legs by herself. "Thank you," said Ellen, "You'll enjoy this. Come on, let's see if we can go all the way." She drew Ylanya's knees past her hips, then her waist, kept going until they were above Ylanya's shoulders. By now Ylanya's bottom and hips were in the air, her body in a strange vertical foetal position. "And relax," said Ellen, "Everything else will be easy now." She lowered Ylanya's legs slowly back to the flat surface and smiled at the confusion on her client's face. "Yes, I've put something there," she said, "Let's get it safely fastened and we'll be ready to go." Reaching down Ellen pulled thick padding up between Ylanya's legs, forcing her thighs apart, her feet now needing the full width of the upholstered support below them. She watched Ylanya's face go from confusion to realisation to shock, then back to confusion. By then she'd finished fastening the hefty disposable diaper in place and was already lowering Ylanya's dress to drape over it, the white plastic no longer visible but an unnatural bulge revealing its presence. Stepping back she laughed at the noises Ylanya was now frantically making and made shushing noises of her own. "Oh, I know," said Ellen, "You're an adult, you don't need diapers, you're not incontinent." She smiled nastily, held up a sleek gadget, pressed a button on it. The device supporting Ylanya whirred beneath her and started to move, converting from a couch she was lying on into a chair, raising her from the waist into a reclined seating position. The televisions she'd seen earlier dropped from overhead in front of her, filling her vision, and she felt headphones pressing against her ears, holding her head in position so she couldn't look away. "At least," chuckled Ellen, "not yet. But twelve hours of hypnosis videos will change that. Oh, stop squirming. It's ok, I'll change you. Celebrate, you get to relax now - no more nasty adult responsibilities for you, just like you wanted. Ever." Ylanya tried to scream in horror but the televisions lit up, sound filled her ears and.. it was too late now.

About a month and a half ago my doctor prescribed me a pretty potent diuretic. Since taking this medication I’ve noticed an increase in my trips to the bathroom. I’ve also noticed that the urge to urinate has gotten stronger and if I try to hold it for too long I’ve had some minor leaks. Today I decided to ditch the damp panties and wear a pull up to work. I was really worried about being found out but I don’t think anyone noticed! I’m still using the toilet as normal but having protection against the leaks is great! I’ve always like the idea of having some nighttime incontinence but apparently the universe heard me wrong ? The idea of adjusting to daytime incontinence (no matter how minor) has come as a bit of a shock to me. But here we are. Any tips or nice words would be great as I navigate through this new journey.

Chapter 16: Heist Love in Dimensions – LittleFallenPrincess Heist time! We had figured out how to get me in, how I’m going to get around, and how to get out. Using Morgan’s brilliant idea, we could work together and the owner would have no idea I’ve even step foot on the property. Whilst I got my things packed and put my outfit on, changing out of the crinkly nappy (not exactly the best option for stealth... even Alex had to agree with me on that!), Morgan and Faith adapted my jammer to work on all the electronics in the target’s estate. And whilst they did that, they also created some basic devices using scrap they found laying about that when put near the cameras and motion devices, would interfere with them, causing them to pick up no movement or sound and freeze the picture of any camera. I have no idea how they did this, I’m not exactly tech-savvy, but they seemed to know what they were doing, so I trusted them. The benefit of having such a large team meant that we could all disable the cameras and sensors on the outside of the property at the same time, with good enough timing of course. So here we were, in a van that Alex had hired last minute, all dressed up in dark clothes, ready to break into this guy’s estate. We didn’t want to break in and steal the jewel... but the way he had hidden it and who he had originally obtained it from... told us that there was no way he ever intended to hand it over or even acknowledge its existence. Faith brought a laptop and is sat in the front of the van with Morgan, who drove us out of London to the target, the rest of us were all crammed into the back. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but hey, it got us from point A to point B... ------------------------------------------------- “So... everyone know where their camera or sensor is?” Faith asked, looking to the back of the van. Everyone nodded. Liv looked nervous, but thankfully she had been given an easy one, as she wasn’t used to action. “Right, so get into position; make sure you’re not spotted by any of the cameras or sensors. Then when I give you the signal... slap that little thing you’ve got onto the side of the device and get back here. That’s when Paige will sneak up onto the roof using her rope, enter the vents, climb through to the room where the safe is, and steal the jewel.” Faith seemed so in control right now, it was impressive. Faith looked at me, clearly checking that I was okay, so I nodded at her. I was nervous, sure. It had been years since I had done anything like this... but surely it’ll go okay... won’t it? “Let’s go then... everyone into position. You too Morgan, hop to it...” Faith grinned and clapped her hands at her girlfriend... who didn’t look happy. “Don’t get used to bossing me about, babygirl... this isn’t becoming a regular occurrence, got that? I can easily put you over my lap.” Morgan warned. “Sowwy Mummy...” Faith replied, her grin quickly turning into a pout. “That’s better. But yes, as my babygirl said... let’s go!” We scrambled out of the back of the van, which was parked a good way away from the estate, and split up into different directions, all heading towards the large property. Everyone had earpieces, we made sure to grab enough from the old hideout stuff in storage. And as I knelt down at the wooden fence perimeter, I awaited instructions from Faith. “In place.” “Same.” “Me too.” The list went on until everyone was covering a sensor or a camera. “Right Paige... get ready. Everyone... now!” Faith instructed. A few seconds of silence followed, as everyone put the device they were given against the security system they were assigned to. “Aaaand... that’s everything out. It won’t last long. Go Paige, go!” she instructed. Not hesitating in the slightest, I ran full speed at the side wall of the property, the one with the easiest side to climb. Window ledges and a drain pipe meant that this had the higher chance of me getting up without falling... or worse, alerting the owner. I’d use the large stack of potting soil as my first step up, followed by the window ledge, and then launch myself over to the sturdy-looking drainpipe, which I’d use to climb to the top. Once I was up, I’d set up my rope so I can rappel down later, as the other end was currently tied to a tree on the outside of the property. That way I’d avoid any camera on the way out. So as I ran towards the potting soil, I prepared myself for the first jump. My heart was beating faster than ever. Adrenaline pumping through my body. I was going to do this. I had to do this. ‘Up. Potting soil. Up. Window ledge. Aaand...’ I lept over to the drain pipe, but my hand slipped slightly and I felt myself fall slightly. Thankfully I managed to grab on at the last second and hoist myself up. “Paige... that was close... be careful!” Faith said through the earpiece. Climbing up, slowly this time as to not slip again, I finally managed to reach the top of the building, taking a deep breath as I sat back for a second. “Good job. Now secure the rope and prepare to enter.” Faith was surprisingly good at this. And I hate to say it... but much better than Jack. Faith was nice to me for one thing... Tying the rope around the chimney, I pulled it tight so I could rappel over the view of the cameras once they were back online. I took a second to admire the view from the top of the building. ‘I missed this...’ I thought to myself. I really wanted to take more time to appreciate this view... this feeling... but we weren’t sure when the owner would return home. The intel said he was gone for the evening, but we couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t arrive home early. So I took one deep breath in, looked around, and committed it to memory. “Entering the vent...” I whispered. Unscrewing the vent, I carefully placed the cover off to the side and climbed in, feet first. ‘Thank god this place is big enough to warrant a vent big enough for me to fit in. Otherwise this would have been a lot more difficult!’ I thought to myself as I slowly but surely descended down the vertical vent. Step by step, I tried making as little noise as possible to avoid setting off any sensors, until I reached the bottom of the vent. Then carefully crouching down, I made my way down the horizontal part of the vent on my tummy, crawling slowly and silently. “You’re nearly there, Paige. Just a few more feet...” Faith instructed me through my earpiece. “Everyone’s back at the van now, so it’s all on you.” Crawling a bit further, Faith shouted “Stop! You’re at the right vent!” so I grabbed my tools and started to remove the cover I needed out of the way so I could drop down into the room with the safe. “Wait! Make sure your jammer is on!” Faith reminded me, so I quickly checked, and yeah, it was on. So hopefully... if Morgan’s work was as good as she said it was... this should mean I can safely drop into the room below without any of the cameras or motion sensors picking me up. Not even the floor sensors or anything should trigger. Hopefully. Shame the range on it isn’t great, otherwise this job would’ve been a piece of cake. Screw by screw, I carefully removed the vent panel, quickly grabbing it before it fell to the floor. Whilst the jammed motion, sound and light sensors wouldn’t pick anything up in this room, if the vent panel dropped, one of the other sensors in the other rooms probably would pick it up, and it’d be game over. Putting it to one side, I put the suction cups on each side of the vent, followed by the winch that would pull me back up. Attaching the rope to the winch, I then proceeded to attach the other end to my belt and got in position. ‘Time to go, Paige...’ Taking a deep breath, I dropped down into the office of the estate’s owner. Papers were strewn about the place. Books, artwork... it looked somewhat similar to mine and Alex’s collection. Maps and documents were pinned to the wall, string being used to connect dots on them. The furniture was all old too, even older than Alex’s shop and her building. But then we expected that with the owner being an older gentleman. Reaching the floor, I carefully placed one foot down, followed by another, making sure not to make a sound. Carefully unclipping the rope from my belt, I turned my torch on and went about looking around for the safe. Upon closer inspection, all the documents on his desk were to do with the Zadri. The maps indicated possible artefact locations. Everything this guy had on them far outshone any of the work Alex and I had put together. ‘Maybe... maybe he’s been researching them longer than Alex has? Maybe that’s why he’s got so much more on them?’ I thought to myself as I carefully flicked through the papers on his desk. The gloves I wore prevented any fingerprints but also meant I could carefully handle some of the fragile-looking documents on his desk that looked very, very old. After spending years working with old documents with Alex, I had learnt how to handle things like this with care. “Alex... there’s so much stuff here on the Zadri...” I whispered as quietly as I could into my microphone. “The Zadri? Well that makes sense. If he’s a collector, he must have some information.” She replied. “This isn’t just some... this is more than we’ve got. This is borderline obsessive...” “Don’t worry about that stuff for now, just find the safe!” Rose said. Putting aside the documents, I focused on looking for the safe that contained the jewel we were looking for. I checked the desk, the filing cabinets, the shelves... everything. Then I looked at a picture on the wall, a painting of... ‘Wait... is that... is that me?’ It must have been a picture of Freya and Ophelia, the mousey brown and the blonde hair giving it away. ‘How... how did he get a picture that looked so accurate? Wait... no. He can’t be that obvious... can he?’ I crept over to the painting and pulled it back a bit, quickly finding out that it was on hinges. And as I pulled it back... it revealed a wall safe, just like I had predicted. ‘That is such an 80’s cliché...’ I rolled my eyes and eyed up the safe, trying to figure out how I was going to get in. “What do you see, sweetie?” Alex asked, making me blush a bit. “It... it’s a new safe. But not that new. Which means... easy to pick. He spent a lot of money on the security... not so much on the safe...” “How long will it take to get it open?” “I just need to find either a magnet or a thin bit of metal. I think one of my tension wrenches could fit in between the dials, press down on the release mechanism and voila... it should open. I’ve seen this model before, very cheap.” Searching the guy’s desk, I quickly found a small, thin piece of metal from a binder, pulling it off and straightening it out, then walked back over to the safe. I was just about to open the safe, when I heard footsteps coming from upstairs. ‘Shit...’ “Faith... is...” I heard Alex talking to Faith in the background. “Paige! Someone’s inside! He must have been sleeping or something, the motion sensors never went off to alert me!” Faith yelled down the earpiece. “Shit, what do I do?” I asked, my heart rate going from a slow jog to a 100m sprint. “Get out of there!” She screamed. “Hello? Is someone there? Come out! Before I call the police!” I heard an old voice yell from the other side of the building. I kept silent and still as I heard him walking through his estate, the creaky floorboards giving away his position. “Now, who would try breaking into my place, eh?” His creaky old voice rang through the house. There was no way I could make it up into the vent in time. I was trapped. Looking around for somewhere to hide, the best thing I could think of was his desk. So I quickly ran behind the desk, dropped to my knees and crawled underneath it, flicking my torch off. I heard the office door creak open. “Oh I see.” It was like I could hear the grin on his face. The office light turned on suddenly, and I covered my mouth as to not make a sound. My body was trembling. My heart was racing. I... I was going to be caught... “I was wondering if and when someone would come for it...” he said menacingly. I heard his footsteps creeping closer and closer to the desk, until a shadow appeared beside the desk. “Come on out... there’s nowhere to run...” ========================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this story as it goes on! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Love in Dimensions. New chapters of Love in Dimensions every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! ?

After years of wearing diapers for fun and day dreaming of nighttime incontinence, I’ve found myself with some minor daytime incontinence (due to a new medication). Today I made the leap and started wearing pull-ups. The day went pretty well. I’m just really trying to wrap my head around all this. On one hand, a form of incontinence as always been a fantasy of mine. But now that it’s happening I feel..almost sad. This isn’t quite what I wanted. I have a few events coming up that will require me to be away from any bathrooms for awhile and I’m feeling anxious about trying to navigate these social situations in a pull up. Tell me this feeling goes away?

There's a little button below the heart/react icon in the subscription field that allow you to individually turn off a user's signature. I have done it for a small section of people who's signatures are significantly longer than I care to deal with.

If all you were having is damp panties I think a good pullup would be plenty at work. As long as your employer has no problems with your restroom use I think you'd be fine. If your leakage gets worse you could always go to a thin adult diaper. Slightly thicker than a pullup.

Pull-ups are good but they don't hold a lot your best bet would be to use disposable nappies/ diapers rather than pull-ups

Team Raccoon tonight!

I also bought some InControl Felicity pull ups. They just looked so cute I couldn’t help myself haha. They’re definitely a lot thicker. I’ll save those for the outside of work activities haha

Yeah, they are making them super soft these days! I need a bit more protection during the day, so I wear either Abeana or Bambino pull-ups.

Pull-ups are great for discreet protection. No one will notice you are wearing one. What brand did you go with? The retail-store brands are thinner and more discreet, online brands offer more protection, but that comes with a little thickness.

Nine: Around Effie preferred spending her days off alone. She could be a social creature at times; when she needed to be. And it wasn’t like she was getting overloaded with human interaction while at the store. She just liked being home, surrounded by her things. No diapers, just books. No cardboard shipping boxes, just the warm glow of her TV. But she was not home today - already a strike against it. She knocked on the strange new door in her life. There had been times in the day or two leading up to this moment, where she had been overwhelmingly anxious. Others where she was curiously optimistic. And the rest were spent wishing she had never agreed to any of this. It’s not my fucking store. The door opened and Margaret was there to greet her. “Punctual, I see. I like that.” Effie was punctual when she knew she had to be. Work was not one of those times. But she wasn’t able to disrespect Margaret McCrea. “Euphemia,” Margaret said as she closed the door behind Effie. “I’m sorry?” “It’s a Greek name. It is from where your name, Effie, is derived. You told me the other day that your name wasn’t short for anything.” “Oh. Well…I can assure you that my name is ‘Effie’ on my birth certificate.” Margaret laughed, walking into her kitchen with Effie trailing behind. “The Greek have a wonderful language. Like...pána.” “Pána?” “Greek for ‘diaper,’ I believe. More of an infant’s diaper, I think. Still seems fitting though.” Effie had no clue if this was accurate or not, but she liked how worldy it made Margaret sound. “May I get you something?” Margaret asked. “Coffee? A warm bottle of milk?” Effie wondered how Layne would’ve reacted to a question like that. Would a question about a bottle of milk get his heart racing? Would he salivate uncontrollably? It did nothing for her. She had never experienced a longing for something so infantile. “Maybe just some water?” “I actually have some hot water on the stove - I was about to have a cup of tea. Perhaps I could make you a cup? I have a cranberry pomegranate herbal.” She wasn’t incredibly interested in tea either. She didn’t dislike it, but it often seemed so boring. Effie felt the same way about cans of flavored seltzer water where the flavor had to have been added by someone waving a single piece of fruit around in a warehouse. “Yes, that would be nice,” she said, just to be polite. “Let’s get business out of the way first,” Margaret said as she tipped the steaming silver kettle to pour hot water into two cups. “You have my word that Hamish Bellencourt will help set the council straight on whatever fire this group tries to light.” “I appreciate you saying so,” Effie said. “I suppose I’m a little nervous that there’s still a possibility that he could change his mind and…” “I’m going to assume you haven’t met Mrs. Bellencourt.” “No, ma’am.” “An absolutely abysmal woman. Rude, snooty, and a broomstick shoved so far up her bottom that… Well, you get the idea.” Effie nodded, understanding it enough. “They have a relationship built on a foundation of need. She is the head of a major nonprofit. He is, well, a councilman. The status of each only empowers the other. And that is exactly where their relationship ends. There is no romance. There is no sex. And if he were to mutter the words ‘diaper me’ to her, she’d likely burn the entire city down as to eradicate any record of him having said it. In other words - Hammy needs me, and he cannot live without me. If I told him to go to a council meeting and tell them that the sky was green, he would do it - all the while daydreaming of getting his next dirty diaper changed.” This was enough of a convincing argument for Effie. Margaret placed the cup of tea down in front of her. “I have to say, I’m very happy that you’re here and that you’ve come around. Now then. I’m thinking that we’d start with you pulling your pants down and then crawling over my lap so that I could paddle you.” -- “So how off base would I be if I asked you where you were last night?” Even though Syd had seemed pleasant and in good spirits when they first came by the house this morning, Harper could tell that something was off. They seemed bothered or annoyed. Harper was tempted to pry a little - as she would’ve if it had been Layne with a little pout on his face. But she thought she’d give them some space. Let them come to her with the issue if they needed to. And they had, as it turned out. Within minutes of arriving at the house, Syd had launched into the bee in their bonnet. “Are you...jealous? Suspicious? Help me out here.” Syd stroked their hair - the meaning of which was still a mystery to Harper. “Sorry, I don’t want to sound crazy. I just texted you a few times last night and I didn’t hear from you. And I guess I… No, no, this is on me. I think I’ve just had bad experiences in the past. I don’t want to accuse you of doing something wrong.” “I was with Layne last night,” Harper said. Syd seemed unsure how to react to that, which made sense to Harper. In the relatively short time they’ve known each other, she had never really spent any time with Layne. “Oh,” they finally said. “We got to talking, and then we ended up taking a trip to the store so I could help with a project there.” “I’m so sorry,” Syd said. “Here I am, practically accusing you of cheating on me with...your husband. God, I feel terrible.” Harper sighed. There was obviously more to the story, and now she was the one who was feeling terrible. “Actually, no. I think I need to tell you everything.” “Everything?” “It’s not...bad. Per se.” “Per se,” Syd repeated, clearly not liking the sound of that. “Layne and I, we have - we had? - this special kind of relationship for a long time. One that, you know, kind of turned into a business.” “The diapers and all that?” “Right. And, I don’t know, you and I had talked about it the other day. And then Layne and I were talking last night and I think we both just got hit with this wave of nostalgia. We wanted this...thing. This little ritual that we used to share.” “So you guys did that sort of stuff? Diapers and baby-things?” Harper sighed and nodded. Syd didn’t seem to know what to make of that. They stood there in silence for a few moments while they stared off into space. There were a few times that Harper wanted to say something - chime in with more details. As if there was a way to make ‘I made my separated husband come inside of a diaper last night’ sound non-threatening. “What does this mean? Are you two getting back together? Like, what am I supposed to do with that?” “Syd, I know this doesn’t make an especially compelling argument for the fact that our marriage is over, but...I think I know more than ever how sure I am about that.” Syd scoffed. “I honestly have no clue what I’m supposed to think right now. I’m hearing: ‘Yeah, after putting my hands all over my ex-husband - while participating in our very intimate mutual kink - I realized that I didn’t want to be with him anymore?’” “It sounds kind of crazy when you say it out loud,” Harper said, scratching her head. “But yeah.” They threw their arms up in an exaggerated shrug. “I want to live in a world where - even after our divorce - we’re still friends,” she said. “Friends with...strange benefits, I guess. Is that asking too much?” She watched Syd process what she said, before finally exhaling slowly - releasing some built--up pressure within. “I guess it’d be a strange new world for all of us. But it means a lot to me that you’re saying this now, as opposed to months down the road.” “I think honesty is pretty cool,” Harper said. “Is Layne on the same page?” “I gave him the book. Whether or not he read it is up to him.” Syd laughed, seeming to lose some of the flustered edge they had before. This came as a relief to Harper. “You know...if it’s a matter of wanting to, uh, be in a particular role...I’m game.” Harper’s eyebrows raised. “I don’t want that to come off wrong,” Syd quickly added. “I’m not saying that I want you to replace Layne with me. Or that you can’t have...whatever it is with him too. But. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. And I’m curious.” “Genuinely curious?” “Genuinely curious.” “That makes me happy,” Harper said. “So. When do you think we’ll get around to it?” asked Syd. “Soon?” -- He was conflicted on how he felt about the days he was running the store by himself. He had done it for so long, pre-Effie, that it wasn’t an especially difficult thing. But he did like the company. Even - though he likely wouldn’t ever say it to her - Effie’s company. But these were also days for quiet contemplation, singing out loud to the radio without judgment, and ordering something ridiculous for lunch. These were also days he had to answer the phone. “Yeah, uh, do you like, uhm, sell...adult diapers? But, like, uhm, for...adult babies? With, like, colorful designs and stuff” “What is the absorbency of the Mermaid Girls versus the Carnivals?” “What kind of diaper should I get if I want to poop my pants?” It was days like these he felt bad for Effie having to field these questions on the days she was here. He wondered how she answered them, or if she answered them at all. “Mr. Stanlan?” He had answered the phone in a sleepy deadpan, not expecting to recognize the voice on the other end. “Grace?” “I hope I’m not bothering you.” “You bother me by calling me Mr. Stanlan instead of just Layne. Otherwise, you’re not a bother.” “If I could just have a moment of your time.” He looked around the quiet store. “You may have as many moments as you’d like.” “I was doing some...research.” He laughed, being reminded of what he had given her when she was last at the store - and the guise under which he had given it to her. “And how is that going?” “I don’t think I’m very good at it,” she said, sounding exasperated. She almost seemed out of breath, speaking on the phone now just after having exerted herself in some way. “I’m not sure if it’s the sort of thing you can be bad at,” Layne said. “We’re talking about the diaper, right? You can say ‘diaper.’ But if that is what we’re talking about, I’d say the only way that you could do it wrong would be if it was on your head. And even then...I’ve been there before, and it wasn’t that bad.” “These tapes are all crooked,” she said. “The whole thing looks lopsided. It’s not on very tight, either, I feel like it could fall off at any moment. And I had tried to adjust one of the tapes, but I guess it’s pretty sticky and it just ended up pulling a little hole in the diaper as I pulled at it. The whole thing is kind of a mess, really.” “Okay, well, none of those things seem that important.” “No?” “All possible user-errors aside, do you like it? Do you like how it feels on you? Do you like how it makes you feel?” She sighed, a little bit of a hum mixed in for good measure. “Do I have to say?” “No, I guess not. I mean, I’d love to know the answer. But it’s probably more important that at least you know the answer.” “Hmm.” “I don’t really know what you, or CALM, think it is that our store does, but I hope this is a small glimpse into the truth. We’re not dangerous predators, nor are we encouraging shady behavior. I’m selling escape. From adulthood. From reality. Do you feel like you’re escaping right now?” “Escaping my sanity, maybe,” Grace quipped. “Sure, sure. It’s all very silly and weird.” “I fear that I’m not doing it right,” she said again. “But I don’t dislike it.” “That makes me incredibly happy to hear.” “I thought you would. If you’re going to go and touch yourself now while thinking about me wearing a diaper, I don’t want you to tell me.” “Ms. Vander-frog, do you have reason to believe that I would be attracted to such a thing? To you?” “Well…” “Or, is it that you have thought about me wearing a diaper?” “I don’t have to answer that.” “Your silence is incriminating. Surely that must come up once in a while in your profession.” She laughed, a nervous and uncertain laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “Guilty as charged.” “So, you don’t have to give me an answer right away - maybe think this over a little bit. But, if you really want to, uh, research this subject, I think I could arrange for you to get some real hands-on experience. We’re talking a guided one-on-one tour of all things regression. You’d be diapered and swaddled by the very best in the business.” “The very best? You’re not very modest, are you?” “Oh, I’m not talking about me.” “No?” “But she’s an exceptional Mommy. And I feel the odds are good that she’d be willing to show a new baby the ropes.” “Just days ago,” she said, “I stormed into your store and suggested that it be obliterated from the city. And today you’re trying to convince me to be treated like a baby at the hands of a stranger?” “Yes?” “I’ll think about it.” “Please do. Feel free to call back whenever you’d like. I’ll be around.” -- “You have [ONE] new voice mail message.” “10:47 PM: Uh, hi. This message is for Mr. Stanlan? Er, Layne? This is Grace Vanderhoeffen, following up on a conversation we had earlier today. The answer is yes. I am interested in taking you up on your offer.” “There are no new voice mail messages in your voice mail box.”

Nobody would make Briana wear protection during the day, right? ----- Sitting in Veronica's office, eating some chicken strips that Suzie had heated up for her, Briana felt ridiculous. The diaper she was wearing was far more bulky than a pullup, too much so for her to ignore its presence. "I feel like I'm waiting for the principal to scold me. Or my mom." "Thank you for taking care of her so quickly." Veronica said from the next room, giving Erin a hug. "Let me know if I can do anything." Erin squeezed Veronica tightly, then stepped out of the room. Veronica came into the office and stroked Briana's hair. "You look very sad." "Wouldn't you be?" Briana forlornly munched on a chicken strip. "It's okay if you are." Veronica said, taking a seat. "Today was embarrassing and I'm sure worrying too." Briana nodded. "Everything was going wrong, I totally blew my lab work, I lost my lunch and a bunch of our Tupperware, it was hard to even get up today. Then I just... I just lost control. I didn't even feel that I had to go until I was..." "Wetting?" Veronica asked, nodding when Briana blushed. "I told you before, extreme stress does terrible things to people. We're doing our best to help you, but I'm not surprised that it's getting worse before it gets better." "I hate this." Briana screwed up her eyes in frustration. "I'm so sorry hon. We're here to help. First of all, stop worrying about the Tupperware. They were cheap store brand ones anyway. Okay?" Veronica smiled gently at Briana. "Second, I think it's time to have you wear pullups during the day." "What!?" Briana stared at Veronica in a panic. "No, I don't need that! This was a one time thing!" "Well, it happened for the first time today. If it is a one time thing then that is great." Veronica said. "But if it follows your pattern so far, it will get a bit worse before it gets better. You don't want a repeat of today, do you?" "Veronica, please, please don't make me." Briana whimpered. "I'm not making you do anything." Veronica said. "I'm telling you what I think is best." "Please don't." Briana's voice fell to a whisper. "No, please." Veronica stared at Briana curiously, letting the silence drag out. She gently took the plate out of Briana's hand and set it aside. "Come here and sit on my lap." Briana took the seat without protest, leaning her petite frame against Veronica. "Do you need me to make you wear the pullups?" Veronica asked. "Would that make it better for you?" "I don't want to wear them." Briana whimpered into Veronica's neck. "But you're afraid that you need to. And it's a choice that would hurt you to make." Veronica stroked Briana's hair and held the girl close. She let Briana sit there quietly, gently caressing her, until she felt Briana's shoulders relax. "Briana?" Veronica said. "Yes?" "I've made a decision. You're going to need to wear pullups for a while." "But..." "No arguing, young lady. If you can keep them dry for a solid week, you can go back to underwear. I won't count nighttime wetting against you, only daytime." Briana buried her face further into Veronica's neck, but didn't answer. "I'd like to hear a, 'Yes Veronica'." It took a minute, but Briana managed a muffled, "Yes Veronica." "Good girl." Veronica patted Briana's back. "If you do wet, you have to come tell me. If you make it to the bathroom, you can tell me that too, but you don't have to." "Okay." Briana sighed. "I'm not trying to embarrass you. I want to keep track of this for you. I imagine that would be some pretty depressing data for you to collect." "If it happens at all." Briana said. "And I hope it won't." Veronica said. "But, if you lie to me about it, you will be in really big trouble. We can only help you if you're being honest. A spanking would be the least of your worries if you lie about this, understand?" Briana winced. "Yes Veronica." "Now, how do you feel?" "Tired. Sad. Embarrassed." Briana sighed. "I'm scared about this. I'm falling apart, and I can't make it stop." "We're here to catch you." Veronica said. "You need a break for tonight. I'll look over your homework but I don't think you have anything due tomorrow. You're excused from chores as well." "Really?" Briana sat up, looking gratefully at Veronica. "Really." Veronica slid Briana off her lap, patted her rear. "Go play with Suzie. You need a distraction, and she's great at them." "Okay, thank you Veronica." Briana found Suzie in her room, and got a huge hug as soon as she arrived. Suzie lung to Briana until she squeaked a little. "Ronnie sent you to me huh?" "She said I needed a distraction." Briana said. "I bet you do, I heard what happened." Suzie said. "Well I have a great idea! I've been working on it all week. Ronnie hasn't let me be in charge of you much." "You're sorry you didn't get to babysit me?" Briana stuck her tongue out. "Yeah, pretty much!" Suzie grinned maniacally. "I used to love to babysit, but all the film projects I have running don't leave any time." "I was being sarcastic." Briana said. "You're not actually babysitting me." "Well I kind of am." Suzie smirked. "I'm the one in charge of you right now, right?" She looked at Briana challengingly. "She wouldn't spank me as hard as Jane did." Briana thought. Something about Suzie's manic attitude didn't give her much confidence in that idea. "Fine, yes, you are." "Good! So let's get you good and distracted!" Suzie hopped in excitement. "Take a little break from yourself. Do some make-believe. You're getting baby-sat, I'm the coolest baby sitter ever, and we're going to have a great time." Briana shook her head, bemused. "Coolest baby sitter ever, really?" "Lots of kids have been skeptical!" Suzie declared. "Don't worry, I'll show you. Come on, let's check out your room." She took Briana's hand and led her enthusiastically around the upstairs balcony. Briana had to admit the excitement was infectious. She followed along, trying to ignore the crinkles from her diaper. "Now, let's play dress up!" Suzie threw Briana's closet door open. "Dress up?" Briana asked. "That's right." Suzie plucked at Briana's old brown skirt. "These clothes are a depressing reminder of a sucky day. Off they go!" "You want me to strip?" Briana shook her head. "Oh please, everyone in the house has seen you naked at this point!" "That's not true!" Briana protested. "Uh... Veronica, and Erin, and sorta Casey... and I guess Jane had my pants down." "So everyone in the house but me." Suzie smirked. "Babysitter says strip!" Briana sighed and shucked her shirt. She dropped the skirt as well and sat on the bed to yank off her socks. "Oh, this is cute!" Suzie hopped over and patted Briana's diaper. "You can leave this on." "It's so babyish!" Briana looked down at the purple pandas. "So what? We're playing dress up!" Suzie reached behind Briana and popped open the clasp on her bra. Briana shrugged it off and sat shyly on the bed. "Now you're a blank slate!" Suzie hopped in front of Briana, brimming with endless energy. "Almost blank." Briana poked the diaper sourly. "So cover it up." Erin ruffled Briana's hair. "Get in that closet and pick out a crazy outfit. Something clashy and dumb and silly. Bonus points if it involves a tutu!" Briana laughed and rummaged in her closet. She couldn't stay down in the face of Suzie's relentless cheer. There were no tutus in her closet, but she did find an old cat-costume from Halloweens past. It went on as a slinky leotard, wire-stiffened tail protruding from the back. A rainbow skirt from a folk fair went over the cat costume, with the tail sticking out over the skirt.. "Awesome!" Suzie giggled. "Do you still have the ears for that costume?" "Yes, but I have a plan." Briana set a plastic tiara from another costume on the ears and then set the whole thing on her head. She posed for Suzie with a silly grin. "Hail! Rainbow Princess Kitty Briana!" Suzie said, taking a knee. "Your Rainbow Princess Kitty demands snacks!" Briana giggled. "As your Rainbow Majesty commands!"

When I’m in a full regression I feel like I totally forget time and other things. My adult mind is just aware enough in case of trouble but if I feel safe enough I truly become very infantile I try really hard to not think any adult thoughts and truly want to be a baby, around 1 year old. The feeling of being in diapers and my baby outfits just enhances my feelings. How do others feel are you able to just let go and be a baby?

Finally figuring this out. (I think) So am brand new here. I'm 56, dabbled w/diapers from 15 to 25 then diapered 25 to 54, then ABDL half time since then. I LOVE my pacifiers, printed diapers, and onsies! I am quite open if u see me driving (or riding) I have my paci. I am not publicly outward about the rest but I have fun with it when appropriate LOL. That's me in a nutshell for now so BYE BYE! ( I hope I did this right)

Well. I did it. I finally told my wife I liked to wear nappies, plastic pants and everything pvc etc. I did not know what her reaction would be. I said to ask any questions she would like. This was yesterday. I told her I was hanging out to wear a nappy. I have just had major back surgery and cannot bend down to grab one from my draw. I asked her if she could grab one as well as my plastic pants. She did to my surprise. I said I will take it from there. I put my nappy on and plastic pants on. What a feeling knowing my wife knows what I am wearing. Today after I had s shower. My wife needs to dry me. I asked her if she could get me another nappy. She did. I also talked a bit more as to what I like. My outfits, baby rompers etc. I also asked her to wash one of my nappy covers. One with Terry towel lining. She did. I showed her my wish list of things to buy and said to search ADBL on the web to understand who I am. I also said a little Sissy has well. I assume she will search in her own time. In short she is on board with me. I told her I wet my nappies as well. She said as long as they don’t smell. I said the plastic pants help and contains the smell. This is true and I am so happy I told her. I said it is part of me and I have tried to stop but I can’t. I just wanted to share.

https://www.newser.com/story/319682/she-drops-phone-in-outhouse-things-get-much-worse.html If she had worn a diaper, she wouldn't have had to use the outhouse, drop her cell phone in the hole, try and retrieve it and fall headfirst into the pit of poo! https://www.newser.com/story/319765/hikers-brace-yourselves-for-a-new-poop-protocol.html Again, if you just wear diapers on your hike there is no need to bury your poop in a shallow hole in the first place! Yeah, you now have to pack your poo out from your hike, but you would have had to pack out your diaper anyway so what's the diff?

This wouldn't usually have been my approach, but I thought it was going to be a pretty short visit. It WAS a pretty short visit, in the grand scheme of things, but time is relative, particularly when you're wearing an inadequate diaper. Speaking of inadequate diapers, I made it through my guy's golf & reckless drinking trip to the US. I shared a room with another guy, so I had to keep my diaper situation on stealth mode. I brought 15 InControl Active Air's with me as a base daytime option, I had a few Megamax's for sleeping in, lots of baggy clothing, and I packed the remains of the grim Depend man pull-ups that I bought for my urology appointment. I also threw a stack of Pampers Swaddlers into my bag, for use as stuffers in the Depends, since size 7 kid diapers mysteriously have twice the capacity of L/XL adult pull-ups in this strange world we occupy. I was slightly worried that I'd end up explaining it all to a customs agent while my friends looked on, perplexed, but we were waived through the border in about 5 seconds. It all worked out pretty well. The weather was great, the golf courses were good, and my own games were sub-mediocre, however those memories have been washed away by rivers of craft beer, red wine and bourbon. "Dear Liver, I feel that I owe you an apology..." I wore the pull-up-and-Pampers combo when we were around the room, and I cheated a bit as necessary, IE, I sometimes used the toilet for #1 as well as #2. I wore the Active Airs for playing golf or going out to bars, and I wore the Megamax's to bed, slipping into them under the noise of a running shower and a loud bathroom fan. Staying at my brother's place earlier this year was instructive, and I employed the same strategy with respect to waste disposal - I deputized myself as the custodian in residence. We generated a lot of beer cans and bottles, pizza boxes and takeout containers, so the small cans in our rooms were quickly deluged, however there was always a maid's cart parked somewhere with a yawning giant garbage bag slung from one end, so once a day or so, I'd "take out the trash", including a bag of spent nappies. I lost nothing to leaks except the edge of one onesie, and the questionable sanctity of the hotel mattress went unviolated. As far as I know, nobody knew I was in a diaper. If anyone figured it out, they were very polite about it, and I guess that's all you can ask for. On the topic of not knowing someone's in a diaper, I have a quick story from around the hotel pool, about a guy who apparently didn't know he'd purchased diapers. The weather on the trip was fantastic, so on a couple of the afternoons after we were done on the golf course, we went and sat by the outdoor pool at the hotel, and had a couple of beers, although none of us went swimming - it was just at the cusp of being the right temperature for it, even by Canadian standards. However, that did not deter the kids that were staying at the hotel. There were not very many of them, but there were a few, and it being primarily a golf-focused area, the only option for entertaining them was that lukewarm assure water. On one of the evenings we were out there, a guy showed up at the pool with two kids in tow, a girl of maybe 7 or 8, and a boy of 6 or 7. We were the only people out there, other than two women who appeared to be in their 60's, sitting over by a hot tub, drinking wine. The kids jumped into the pool and the guy sat down on a chair at a table closer to us than to the women, and given that we all have kids and have all taken our turns entertaining them at hotels, when he glanced over at us, we immediately invited him to have a beer. He walked over and sat down, and almost immediately, felt compelled to explain something that I assume we'd all noticed, but obviously hadn't commented on: his daughter was wearing a completely conventional bathing suit, but his son was wearing just a swimming diaper. He explained that the kid had lost his bathing suit on the first day they were there, possibly dropping it on the way back to their room, so he'd walked over to the CVS pharmacy down the street, and bought a pack of "disposable swim trunks", as he called them. He said he'd looked in the gift shops nearby but they didn't have anything in the right size, and the nearest Walmart was a 15 minute cab ride away. I almost felt like offering to take them there the next day - we had a car with us - but this was Saturday and he said they were leaving on Sunday, anyway. Still, I felt for that kid, wearing what his dad called a disposable swimsuit, but what most people would call a swim diaper. I wondered how it had gone for him when there were more kids in the pool than just his sister. In any case, he seemed unperturbed about it, running around and jumping in and out as he was, so maybe I'm projecting my own feelings onto his predicament. I just thought it was an interesting juxtaposition of situations... there's me, sitting at the table with my buddies, wearing baggy cargo shorts over a diaper, using maybe 5% of my CPU capacity running background anxiety processes about wearing that diaper, and also sharing a room with someone, even though there was about a 98% chance that nobody would ever be the wiser. Meanwhile, here's this kid, wearing only a swim diaper, because he lost his bathing suit, and his dad thought that this was the best way to rectify the situation. I wondered where mom was. Golfing? It put my problems in perspective, I guess I'm saying. The universe has a sense of humour, and sometimes it taps you on the shoulder.

I have been using my own domain names for a while now (saw the writing on the wall along time ago). I had them MXed to Tuffmail until they shutdown. I'm using Fastmail now and pretty happy with it.

Ah ha I think I figured it out! It's the icon under your profile picture. Told ya I wasn't very bright when it comes to techno. LMAO

Right, like I want to follow you and others Thank you! Thanks, ummm I try (successfully is debatable LOL)

Welcome!

Part 4: The common room was a large hall divided into two parts. There was a row of pillars in the center to support the ceiling. Ashley noticed two TV sets on the side walls; the clients could choose a sports channel on the left TV set or telenovelas on the right one. The clients split into two groups in front of the TVs and one extra group sat down on the chairs around a small table in the far corner. Diane headed to that group and Ashley did the same; she wasn’t too interested in sport or telenovelas; anyway she liked the movie music in the telenovelas. The young man joined them as well and he sat down next to Ashley: “You are new here, isn’t you?” “Yeah, I woke up in the morning and found myself in a cell with Diane.” “Why were you sent to this clinic?” “I’m kind of black sheep in our family and my brother called me a witch.” “A witch?” he laughed a little: “Sorry but I found it funny. I’ve never met a witch … until now?” “Well, I will be a witch as long as you are a gentleman. A gentleman would introduce himself to a lady,” Ashley laughed. “Sorry; my name is Mike; unfortunately I can’t pass you my hand.” “My name is Ashley; anyway you can give me a welcome kiss,” Ashley teased him a little and Mike blushed immediately. She couldn’t resist the temptation and kissed him quickly. “I always wanted to do something crazy.” “After all you are a witch now; hopefully I’m the gentleman you expected.” “You are,” Ashley suddenly felt better; she might have found a friend besides her cellmate. “Mike, what about you? Are you a black sheep too?” “Basically yes. My family is strict and religious and I don’t match that image; I wanted to be social and have friends. However, the family friends were boring and I fled from home.” “I can imagine this,” Ashley sighed heavily. “Now let’s be serious, Ash. Why did your brother call you a witch?” “My father and brother thought I could move objects without touching them.” “And? Can you?” Ashley was a bit afraid and she looked around. There were cameras on the walls. However an idea hit her: ’Alaife, pull his hair slightly.’ ’Are you serious Ash?’ ’Let’s have a little fun. The cameras won’t catch it.’ “Hey, you are a witch indeed,” Mike laughed when something pulled on his hair. “How did you do it?” “Do you really think I can move objects?” Ashley grinned and looked at Diane. Diane noticed what happened but she didn’t want to talk aloud. She hoped for an opportunity later. However she was confused and didn’t have any explanation of what she had noticed. Ashley kept talking with Mike and they were getting closer. They stood up and walked over to the corridor where they could be alone. Diane smiled only and moved to the TV to watch a telenovela even if she wasn’t interested in it. While talking Ashley felt the pressure in her bladder and almost looked around to find a toilet when she realized her diaper. “Ash, what’s going on? Do you… ?” Mike blushed. Ashley nodded. “Don’t worry. We all are wearing diapers.” “What? In front of you?” “Walk away if you want to. I’ll wait.” “Damn! Not necessary,” Ashley relaxed the muscles and peed in her diaper. A second later she laughed. “Why did you laugh?” “It’s funny; I peed standing,” Ashley laughed and blushed at the same time. “Let’s go back to the common room; we would be suspicious otherwise.” Mike interrupted the embarrassing talk but he also was amused. Before dinner the nurse called them and they had to return to their rooms. Two orderlies strapped them down to their beds and left: “Hey, Ash; you are quick; Mike really is a nice boy and you got acquainted with him the very first day.” “Yeah; we even experienced a diaper change together,” Ashley grinned at Diane. “Well; that’s fine when you find a way to make the stay here more pleasant.” “I think so,” Ashley nodded. ’The boy has a crush on you, Ash, and he is dreaming of you,’ Alaife’s voice made Ashley smile. “Dinner time!” The same screeching voice interrupted them and the same woman entered the room. She fed them as clumsily as before but the dinner again was delicious. After dinner the nurse on duty changed their diapers. She just started her night shift. That nurse was quite neutral; she didn’t smile but she also didn’t tease or mock them. “I should learn the names of the staff members, Diane. It’s polite to address them accordingly.” Ashley turned to Diane and Diane nodded. “You’re right. The day shift nurse is Angela and her name matches her behavior. The mean man from last night is John and the night shift nurse is Mary. There is one more nurse on duty for our rooms and her name is Ellen. She is as neutral as Mary; just like a professional caretaker.” “What about the creature with the screeching voice?” “Oh, our Penny is nice but clumsy. She has to feed us mostly and change diapers occasionally.” Later in the evening Ashley got tired and almost fell asleep when she heard Alaife’s voice: ’Do you want to talk freely without being observed by the camera? I can provide you with about ten minutes.’ ’Should I tell Diane the truth?’ ‘I’d guess yes. She seems to be sincere and might help you. Maybe she also needs help. Wait until the LED on the camera goes off.’ ’Okay, I do it.’ Alaife left the room and moved to the security monitoring room. It was unoccupied at night; a software was used to detect abnormalities and raise an alarm. The monitors were on and a security member would be able to watch every camera; however there was none inside. There was a switchyard on the back wall and Alaife got into it. Many of the wires were bitten by mice and he found the main power supply for all monitoring systems. Alaife pushed the wires towards each other until they touched. The damaged insulation caused a short-circuit and the main breaker switched off. The entire monitoring system went dead. Of course an SMS was sent to the maintenance service by the independent diagnostic system. However the service man on duty was asleep and he needed some time to get to the monitoring room and diagnose the failure. Much more than the promised ten minutes passed until the power was restored and the computers started monitoring again. To her utter surprise Ashley noticed the LED going off: “Hey, Diane, are you asleep?” “Almost. What do you want?” Diane also was tired. “The camera is off.” “WHAT?” She looked at the camera and at Ashley. “What happened?” “I don’t know exactly but we have at least ten minutes to talk without being observed.” “Ashley, what are you hiding? Something tugged on Mike’s hair and now the camera is off and you know we have ten minutes.” “Oh, you noticed the tug. It was nice, wasn’t it?” “Yeah but what did it do?” “What or who? The entity I talked about earlier does exist and he is here in the monitoring control room. He tugged Mike’s hair and he somehow switched off the monitoring system.” “Can you communicate with him?” “Yeah, I can talk with him silently in my mind.” “Well, the moving objects are not a fable.” “No Diane. Alaife moved them indeed and he is able to do much more; he told it earlier.” “What exactly?” “I don’t know it yet and I have to discover his abilities. All I know is that he can pass walls, read minds of other people and move objects; however his strength is limited and he can’t move heavy objects.” “It is enough Ashley but I’d guess he can do even more. Do you allow me to communicate with him?” “I don’t mind it but you should ask him directly. Anyway he still protects me and he won’t obey anybody but me.” “No Ash; I don’t want to hurt you; I only want to talk.” The camera still was off but Ashley got tired already: “Sorry Diane; let’s continue tomorrow.” “No problem dear; I’m tired too and I have to think of what you told me.” Ashley closed her eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. Alaife returned to the room but he didn’t disturb Ashley and kept watching her.

AN: I haven't said the main character's name yet, have I? Let's fix that. Chapter 2: A Marathon From Eden "Good morning Josiah! Judging by your heart rate and brainwave pattern, you have woken up enough for your morning update. You have three meetings regarding the fourth quarter releases at ten, fourteen, and sixteen hundred hours today. Weather shows mild overcast, though the temperature shall remain in the mid to high sixties. Additionally, it is your one hundredth and forty eighth birthday. There is currently nothing scheduled for celebrations. If you wish to hear this message again, please say 'Repeat'" I sighed. I really didn't need my virtual assistant to detail my schedule today. One hundred and forty eight years. The younger generations, the ones that haven't yet reached even their sixties don't understand the weight of so much time. The weight is too much to bear some days. The reminder that all I had planned for today was work certainly didn't help either. I can still remember the days in my childhood when having a birthday was a time of celebration and joy. Maybe that's my problem. I know a few people who've had most of their first forty years of life archived. Filed away to be revisited when desired. As I stare up at my blank ceiling, remembering the stars that once dotted it, I can't find it in myself to do the same. Even on days like this; when time and responsibility keep me pinned to my bed. The idea of giving up the happiest days of my life seemed blasphemous in away. Even on days where I'd stay in bed all day just to escape. Alas, theres no one here to get me up except myself. While the weight of responsibility holds me down, it's also the one thing to help me up some days. I slowly swing my legs out of my bed and stand up. I toss my sleep ware off to the side. Maybe a shower before work will help me wake up. I can grab a coffee on my way in today. No way I'll be able to get through without some form of caffeine. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ "Blah, blah, blah?" "Blah!" Maybe I shouldn't have gotten that coffee this morning. I haven't paid too much attention to what's been discussed. No matter how much arguing back and forth goes on, everyone here knew what would happen. Lots of key words and catch phrases thrown around on platitudes while no agreement is actually reached. We then wait a week, and then they take our contact to supply mining AI or whatever. Honestly, you'd think I'd pay more attention to what my own company was selling. Yet all that was on my mind was how much I needed to pee. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but I must have forgotten to take care of that after my shower. Now I'm just sitting here too annoyed and distracted to care about anything accept keeping my leg from bouncing like a child needing to potty. "So we meet again next week to discuss the code needed to manage the project?" "Agreed" Finally it was over. Exactly as I called it even. I barely took enough time to thank everyone before leaving. Honestly, I would say the meeting was a complete waste of time but... I don't know what I would do if I wasn't here. The moment I'm done using the restroom, I leave the bland corp lobby of the buisness I was at. How is it that we live in a world where holographic displays can show a near limitless variety, and yet every corp lobby looks identical. Beige walls, a few plants here and there, fake window showing a city high rise. Seen one, you've seen them all. "V.A., find me the nearest dining establishment with the shortest line". Almost instantaneously the information appeared in my head. There was a synth-burger shop down the street that was having a slow day. Was normally pretty good food too, if pricey. Eh, why not. Not like I use the money on anything else. May as well treat myself. Of course, the reason behind the short line is clear the moment I get near the vintage, early 2100s themed burger shop. "Return to a life of Purity! Reject the corruption of age!" "To archive your childhood is to remove the greatest blessing bestowed upon us." "Return to Eden on Earth!" Of course, it was hard to understand the last one through the pacifier in their mouth. I rolled my eyes, mostly ignoring them as I approached the store. The three overgrown children seemed to be shouting to all who could hear. A short distance away was one of their automata. I didn't understand how someone could be so willing to give up their lives to one of those machines. One of the trio, a girl in a short pastel pink skirt overall thing approached me as I walked past. "Hey Mister! Got a thecond to hear about the great work?" In another time, I would say she appeared to be in her mid twenties. Back before the Second Medical Revolution at least. It was a description that didn't mean much nowadays, but some still used to define where they wanted their aging frozen at. I didn't have a choice back then, so I'm stuck in my early thirties give or take a few years. An internal tangent that did not bother to stop yet another eyeroll at the girl's fake lisp. The Neo Edenites, or Eternal Children of the Lord as they call themselves, were generally harmless nuisances. Most people thought they were more than a little loony, and I happily count myself amongst that number. And yet, something about her positivity, the sheer hope behind her eyes that someone will listen despite the people walking past makes me hesitate. Just because they were loons didn't mean they had everything wrong. Maybe it was because I'd felt so disconnected from my life recently. Maybe my world seemed grey and bland, and I wanted to see what this girl's more colorful life was like. Maybe I just wanted justification for my refusal to archive my childhood. I'm not sure, honestly. In the future, I'd look back on this moment with awe and reverence. The moment I began my path towards the New Eden. The moment I began to realize the futility of adulthood. All I knew, is that without realizing, I replied with sarcasm heavily coating an earnest desire for answers. "Why not?"

I can relate to repeating ideas like this to yourself. Hypnosis. Affirmations. CBT. They're just enforcing habits and letting you change how you view yourself. Interesting choice of words -- how you started this with "I am a bedwetter" and then added the daytime stuff. Do you think that will change? The order of those words? Do you keep a private journal? If you want my advice...I recommend it. It has certainly surprised me how things change...and how they don't. And in subtle ways, in both cases. Put all this in perspective, for me.

what you might be getting down about is that now you have no choice, as for this feeling going away, that is up to you, how you accept this new reality, just remember, you wear the diapers, they dont wear you, so get some nice absorbent ones and go about your life.

The first time I was put into a diaper as an adult was actually a pretty cool experience. A guy and I went to a local park at night. I laid down under this tree and I could see the stars through the leaves. I laid there while he diapered me and when he helped me stand up I felt spacey and little and cuddly. I used the diaper almost immediately out of instinct.

Thank you so much for sharing these details! I've always been curious about what it's like for women particularly if they find them arousing and in what way. I'm glad you enjoy them so much! I can relate to what you're saying about the complexity of it, and also other aspects that combine with the physical stimulation that can enhance the overall experience. Also, I've always been amazed at how varied the DL interests can be, as well as the AB side of things.

Those are pretty!

Just found out we'll be in Oslo for two nights out of the month

I chose one of the Tena brand ones. They were surprisingly comfortable!

Thanks for the update. Maly.

And how annoyed will she be when she finds that out? I love how the main theme of this story seems to be situations not being nearly as bad as they appear at first sight. But I do hope Effie isn’t lastingly upset by her experience.

Maybe Effie's day with Margaret isn't even necessary?

Nope, I just try to come on here and leave a quick message when I get home from work. I am most definitely not getting a lot of days off. As a matter of fact I came in on one of my days off just last week to help with the truck.

Yeah probably little buddy

@oznl 10 points for using haptic hallucination in context! I needed a second cup of coffee just to stay up with your prose! Well done! Can't thank you enough for posting this. It is observations like these that let some of those further down the slope do such good job of metaphorically outlining their process. @Eido Your phase descriptions were so helpful and insightful. I think I'm a couple months or so behind OZNL but was very encouraged by the roadmap you painted. I know everyone's journey is unique and what works for the goose may not work for the gander, but really appreciated the detail and description as well as your slope exit thoughts!

I don't get fully regressed to the pint of infancy or one years old. I like knowing that my diapers and baby pants make me look and feel babyish. When my diapers get wet or poopy, its 'cause " I can't help myself" Then I feel like a naughty little toddler

I am wearing a wet crinklz with booster. The tea at work went right through me.

Chapter 4 Julie had spent the rest of dinner in something of a daze, her mind overwhelmed by what she'd just done. Not just wetting herself, but on purpose, and to help someone else. She recalled the others making small talk, going over the next day's activities, discussing the shopping options in a nearby town. None of it seemed real to her, reality was a warm wet feeling around her loins, a constant reminder when she shifted position, embarrassment and shyness when someone caught her eye. As the meal finished the others stood, followed Miriam through to another room. Daphne swivelled the table away from Sandy and helped her stand, then looked across at Julie. "Come on, you'll be fine," she said, "look, Sandy's coping." Sandy gave her a brave looking smile and Julie realised she'd been ignoring the poor girl since taking her seat. She stood up, smiled back and said, "Lets join the others. I suspect they'll be in a similar state soon." Daphne took Sandy's hand and led her from the room, and Julie laughed as she saw Sandy waddle slightly. That laugh stuck in her throat when she started to follow them. The diaper had somehow grown between her legs, swelling to absorb its new contents, and that interrupted her normal smooth gait. Julie gritted her teeth, focussed on walking normally and went through the door. She found Miriam and Alice sat on comfortable looking chairs, Miriam's reclined with a raised footrest. Daphne was already joining them, having led Sandy to where Ellie and Jane were sat on what Julie could only describe as oversized baby recliners. Just as with the changing tables, there were six of them, so she decided to play ball and picked one by her new friends. As she sank into it she felt her feet rise off the floor and realised it wouldn't be easy to stand up again, but it was comfortable and she welcomed the chance to recover from the traumas of the dining room. "Now girls," said Miriam, "We always have two members of staff on duty at all times. Anybody on duty is forbidden alcohol, to protect our babies." Julie nodded to herself, that made sense. Miriam continued, "As you're all new, Alice, Daphne and I are all on duty while you go through your induction period. But you're not, so if you like, we can offer you a bottle of wine as a treat for making it through a difficult first day." All of the girls perked up at that. Only Jane held back, and asked, "You don't mean a bottle of wine do you, you mean a bottle of wine." Julie looked at her in confusion. That didn't make sense! Yet Miriam smiled, and nodded at her, "Very perspicacious Jane," she said, "but would you like one anyway?" Jane thought for a moment, then visibly shrugged. "Sure," she said, "I think you want us all to relax, and this will certainly help." Miriam's smile broadened and she gestured to Daphne, "Could you perhaps help our young ladies with their drinks, save them having to stand?" she asked. Daphne stood and went over to a cabinet, its wood veneer polished and glossy, and pulled a tray from it. Julie realised they must have planned ahead, as there were four bottles on it, each the size of an athletic drinking bottle, their glass sides showing a deep red liquid inside. Daphne passed one to each of the girls, and as Julie received hers she heard a startled gasp from one of the others. Looking at the bottle she immediately understood why, but also comprehended why it didn't matter. Of course it had a rubber teat on it; she should have guessed. Julie put the teat into her mouth, sucked in a mouthful of what she rapidly assessed as rather nice red wine, and paused. Jane had guessed! Julie sighed, and felt strangely naive as she sat there, rocking in an oversized baby chair, damp diaper squidging beneath her, sucking on a baby's bottle. A couple of hours later, the strong wine still leaving her light headed, Julie had been helped from her chair by Alice and they'd all gone through to the changing room. Julie hadn't used her diaper again, and didn't know if the others had. Nobody had said anything, although Sandy was looking a little distressed. "I know it's early," Miriam had said, "but all our babies get a nice early night. So time for you all to get a last change and dressed for bed." Julie welcomed the chance to escape the wet diaper she'd been wearing for a while now, so offered to go first. Alice took her hand and led her to a table. "We'll help you tonight," she said, "as you'll all be tired and maybe a little tipsy. Now, as you'll be going to bed after this we can remove your outfits, change your diapers and then put you straight into your jammies." Ellie helped Alice pull Julie's dress and diaper shirt off her, and Sandy pulled down her tights. Julie stepped out of them, sat on the table and swung her legs up. "Would you like the wrist restraints again Julie?" asked Alice. Julie blushed and shook her head, but reached out to find Ellie's hand, wanting hers held while Jane untaped her diaper. As the front was lowered she expected to be rolled over but was instead asked by Alice to lift her hips. "The approach we took earlier works with all babies, even the uncooperative ones," explained Alice, "but when a baby is well behaved it's much quicker if they help a little. Now, keep those hips raised Julie and we'll wipe you clean." Julie found the position uncomfortable but felt it better to abide. At least she was free from that plastic torment; it had become clammy and uncomfortable, a key factor in her desire for a change. When she did eventually lower her hips she almost raised them again in surprise. It felt like she'd dropped down onto a towel and not a clean new diaper. She looked at Alice in surprise. "No diaper?" she asked. Alice withheld a laugh. "Oh, yes," she said, "it's a cloth diaper. We like using them overnight, that extra padding helps our babies embrace their status and they can last the whole night without a change." Julie gripped Ellie's hand tight and received a quick squeeze in response, followed by a gentle caress across her forehead. She heard Alice talking to the others about the diaper now being fastened around her. "As you can see, we're using a disposable liner. That will help keep any wetness away from Julie's skin, and also makes the diaper easier to clean should she mess overnight." Julie started to sit up at that, alarmed by the suggestion, but Ellie drew her back down. Instead she listened as Alice continued, "Some cloth diapers need folding but we're using tailored ones that have a similar design to the disposables. So you just draw it up here, and then use diaper pins here, here and.. here." At each of the closing words Julie felt the diaper fasten tighter around her and realised she was being pinned into it, something that even after the past few hours seemed to make her feel more infantile. She tried to think why that was but couldn't find a solution. "Why does this make me feel more like a baby than even using that disposable?" she asked Alice, who gave her a serious look but didn't reply. "Now Jane, if you could help with these," asked Alice, and Julie felt her ankles being raised again and something being pulled up her legs. She looked down and saw a large mound of towelling below her waist and a pair of plastic panties being pulled up towards it. "Lift your hips again," requested Alice, so Julie leaned back again and complied. She felt the panties being drawn over the top of her diaper and around her waist, then felt fingers running around the waistband and the leg openings. "A quick check that everything's inside," said Alice, "and we're done. You can relax now Julie. To answer your question it's because diaper pins are inextricably linked to babies and the diapers they're going to use. Incontinent teens and adults almost always use disposables but even when they do wear washables they invariably use pull-ons or Velcro fasteners." "Only babies," she reiterated, looking down and making sure Julie was painfully aware who she meant by that, "get pinned into diapers." Julie had let her hips sink back to the changing table while Alice was speaking. She grimaced but said nothing to that final statement and tried again to sit up. This time Ellie helped her, gave her a quick hug and turned to Daphne who was holding out a new piece of clothing. Julie couldn't see clearly as Ellie took it from Daphne, shook it loose from its folds and showed it to Jane who looked across at Julie and remarked, "Oh, you'll look so cute in that!" They approached the table and started to slide soft cotton up Julie's legs, then took her hands and helped her down from the table. As she stood Julie worried that she was stood on her new clothing, before realising that was intended: it was a footed sleepsuit, which Ellie quickly zipped up her back. Alice called for attention and showed the group a small padlock. "Idle fingers can get into trouble at night," she said, "so we find it best to remove temptation." She stepped in behind Julie, who a moment later heard a small click and guessed her zip would not now come undone. "I'm locked in?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly. She wasn't planning to remove her sleepsuit anyway, but a lock felt strangely oppressive, the element of choice removed, her subservient status subtly stated. "It changes things, doesn't it," said Miriam drily, the question clearly rhetorical. "It's such a tiny thing, but we add it at the end of the first day and give our babies something to think about as they fall asleep." Julie looked at Miriam, for the first time seeing the woman behind the facade. Miriam enjoyed this, she realised, more even than the business success it gave her. There was a power dynamic, and Miriam liked holding all the power. Miriam saw the look, smiled at her, said nothing. They both knew, no words were necessary. Julie shivered and looked away. "Aren't you just lovely," said Alice, "Now, lets who's next." Julie welcomed the distraction, threw her energy into helping with the others. With surprise she discovered Ellie and Jane had both used their diapers at some point; they'd said nothing, drawn no attention to the fact. Before long all four girls were in thick diapers, a warm sleepsuit hiding them from view, the tiny locks holding everything in place. Julie looked at her new colleagues and laughed. "We actually look like we're just having a sleepover," she said, "if you didn't know what's underneath." Alice asked them to come with her and led them down a panelled corridor into a new wing of the house. The girls followed with small steps, the thick padding forcing them all to waddle a little and the sleepsuits offering little grip on the polished wooden floors. They emerged in a large room they hadn't seen before, this one definitely a dormitory. Closed curtains and subdued lighting stopped Julie seeing the room in detail, but it was impossible to miss the beds lining each of the two long walls that stretched away from her. They looked like wooden babies' cribs, painted white, a hint of delicate patterns on the head and tailboards. But they were adult sized, and all four girls stopped as they realised these would be their beds. "Jane?" invited Alice, standing by one of the cribs, the nearest side folded down and open. Jane walked over and lay on the mattress, watching calmly as Alice brought up the side panel, a catch at the top making a loud clunk as it closed. "It's not impossible to open these from inside," revealed Alice, "but we've fitted simple alarms and you really don't want to know what happens if those go off and we don't find an emergency." "What if it opens by itself?" asked Sandy nervously. "That wont happen," assured Alice, "That loud sound as it closed tells us it's locked in place and needs deliberate action to open. Come here, you can see it yourself." Alice had walked to the next crib, and showed Sandy the mechanism at the top before inviting her to lay down. Sandy looked back at Julie as if seeking reassurance, so Julie gestured to her to lay down and let Alice close the side. As she heard the confirming clunk she walked to the next crib herself, and saw Ellie moving to an empty one of her own. The mattress was yielding and comfortable, but felt firm enough to support Julie as she slept. It had crinkled a little as she lay on it, and she assumed a protective cover was there for the unlikely event her thick diapers failed in their job. She looked up at Alice as the side was raised, and a hefty sound confirmed her own crib was now firmly closed, securing her until morning. Looking out she saw Daphne dropping baby style bottles in each of the occupied cribs, their contents a clear liquid. "Daphne is giving you all a bottle of water," said Miriam, who had entered while Julie was being put to bed. "It's entirely optional whether you drink it, but as you're now confined to your cribs for the night we want to be sure you wont dehydrate, so do please have a drink if you get thirsty. "Any questions before we dim the lights and let you get some sleep?" "Uhm," said Sandy, then stopped. "Yes Sandy?" asked Miriam, "It's OK, what do you need?" "Can I have Mr Speckles? He's my bear, he's in my bag," said Sandy, "I mean, I sleep with him normally and if we're babies we should have cuddly toys anyway. Shouldn't we?" Julie had nearly laughed at Sandy's initial request but felt it was a good point. She'd left her soft toys at home when she went to college so hadn't thought of them here, but if they were being treated as babies.. Julie looked through the bars of her crib at Miriam, who frowned. Sandy saw this and panicked. "I'm sorry," she gabbled, "I just wanted.." "Hush child," said Miriam, disregarding Sandy as an unwanted distraction. Julie saw Sandy quail at this put-down, and felt her own dismay. More than anything else that day, Miriam casually dismissing Sandy as any adult treats a noisy child made her realise how Miriam perceived them, revealed their true status during this induction week. "Daphne," said Miriam, "could you come here a moment?" Julie watched as Daphne approached Miriam, looking strangely pale even in the poorly lit room. "I'm sorry," said Daphne, "I forgot. I'll.." Miriam sighed, and cut Daphne short. "We can discuss this tomorrow," she said, "lets not keep our girls up any longer tonight." At this point Julie felt a soft nudge in her back, and turning found Alice poking a scraggy plush sheep through the crib bars at her. Alice winked but said nothing, and Julie realised this wasn't the time for questions. She accepted the cuddly sheep and held it close, turning to look back at Daphne. She'd regained some colour in her cheeks but still looked very concerned. She took another soft toy from Alice and carried it over to Jane while Alice passed one through to Ellie. Miriam had approached Sandy's crib and knelt beside it. "We don't want to go through your belongings," she said, "Will you be OK with this fluffy fellow tonight?" Sandy responded quietly. "Yes," she said, "Thank you. Goodnight." Julie saw Sandy had been given a toy of her own, and was looking shocked by the outcome of her question. "Good girl," said Miriam, standing back up. "Goodnight all of you, and sleep well." She left the room, Daphne and Alice following, and straight after most of the lights turn off, the remaining ones dimming enough to leave only vague outlines of the cribs in the room. Julie thought back to that night, how, exhausted by her morning travelling and an emotionally challenging day, she'd quickly fallen asleep. She remembered waking in the darkness, the evening's wine finally making its demands on her bladder, and taking the gamble that a wet diaper would be easier to sleep with than a full bladder. After all, babies slept in wet diapers all the time. In hindsight she'd made a good decision as, although damp and distressed, she'd drifted off again, and indeed, slept like a baby.

Matilda could hardly contain her excitement. She skipped and walked quick circles around Jenny, overjoyed to be back on her feet now. It had been what felt like the longest two weeks of her life being stuck in the little wagon. She was free! Free to walk, and free of those wretched diapers. She had a sinking suspicion it was only because she had run out, but free was free. Now was her chance to show Miss Honey she didn’t need them. “Calm down.” Jenny said, but she was beaming too. They had both been in particularly good moods the last few days, it was hard not to be happy without Miss Trunchbull terrorizing the school. It had done wonders for Jenny’s anxiety and Matilda herself had even woken up the last three mornings in a row dry. “You don’t want to wear yourself out before you even get to school.” Jenny reminded her. “I won’t.” Matilda said, but slowed her pace just the same until she had matched Jenny’s slower walk. “Matilda,” Jenny said a little more quietly. The young girl looked up, feeling a bit of dread now. She knew that tone. “I’ve packed a few extra changes of clothes just in case.” Matilda could feel the heat beginning to burn her face. It never got easier talking about this. “I won’t need them.” Matilda insisted, looking away. Not because she was 100% confident it wouldn’t happen, but because she had also snuck a change of clothes into her own backpack while Jenny had been in the shower. “Just in case you do, they’ll be in the nurse's office.” “I can walk to the bathroom now.” Matilda insisted, but her argument felt half-hearted after yesterday. Matilda had been at the library while Jenny was taking driving lessons with Mrs. Rodgers. She had been so engrossed in a book about the solar system she had blocked the rest of the world out completely. It wasn’t until the librarian, Mrs. Phelps, who had promised Jenny she’d keep an eye on her came by and let out a startled gasp did Matilda even look up from her book and realize much too late what she had done. She had never been in trouble with Mrs. Phelps before. She knew she could be strict when it came to disrespecting the library rules and property, but being on the receiving end had been a shock. When Mrs. Phelps had finally finished scolding her for wetting herself in one of the armchairs, she made Matilda clean up the mess, check out her books, and wait outside for Jenny to pick her up. Matilda was nervous about returning to the library today after school, but there was one thing that scared her more than an angry Mrs. Phelps, and that was Jenny’s driving. She was proud of her mom for trying new things, but there was nothing wrong with being proud of her from the safety of an armchair. Miss Honey was trying to drive stick, and the near constant lurching back and forth from the back seat had been too much for Matilda’s stomach to take. She had only just managed to scurry out in time before losing her lunch in the street. “I’m sure you’ll be fine if you put your mind to it.” Jenny said, patting her shoulder. “But don’t beat yourself up too badly if anything happens. Do try to be more careful at the library though.” Matilda gritted her teeth. She still couldn't believe she had done that. It wasn't like she had had a legit accident, she had just completely forgotten that she wasn't wearing a diaper anymore. She couldn't believe she had done something so dumb. In as little as two weeks she had almost managed to untrain herself. "I could stop by the store and get you more pull-ups before I take you to the library." Jenny offered. Matilda quickly shook her head. "Please don't." she begged. "I just wasn't thinking." "Are you sure? You were awfully upset yesterday when I found you." Jenny said. "You were throwing snowballs at the side of the building." She said before adding, "without touching them." "I've never been kicked out of the library before." Matilda mumbled. She was so embarrassed she was even tempted to cave to Jenny's offer, but she decided against it for a couple of reasons. The first being she just had to get this under control, and the second was why Jenny hadn't just gone out and gotten more when she had run out. She couldn't afford them. As much as Jenny tried to hide things like finances, it was nearly impossible to hide things from her. Matilda didn't need to see her checkbook. She could do the math in her head. There was rent, food, utilities, etc. etc. It was also nearing Christmas and the end of the month. She had told Jenny a million times she didn't want anything for Christmas. She had even lied and said her family had never celebrated it anyway, but Jenny had spotted the Wormwood's car going by with a large red bow and antlers. "It's just for show." Matilda had insisted. "He always said it was good for business." Miss Honey hadn't believed her though. "It really wasn't anything special there anyway." Matilda admitted. "I only ever wanted books, but got hair accessories and nail polish instead. I already have everything I want." Matilda insisted squeezing Miss Honey's hand. "You're sweet, but a terrible liar." She knew Jenny had only been joking, but the comment had made Matilda a little angry. "Do you really think I'd be upset if you didn't buy me stuff?" Matilda asked, emphasizing the last word. "We have a little over seven pounds to last two weeks after making the minimum payment to the hospital. Don't waste it on that." "You're not supposed to know that." Jenny said with a sigh. "It's our first Christmas together. I want it to be special." "It will be!" Matilda insisted. "I've always wanted someone to walk down Santa Claus Lane with and look at the lights on Christmas Eve, and we can drink hot chocolate, and play chess, and read. I've never had anyone to do any of those things with on Christmas." Miss Honey seemed to genuinely smile at the suggestion. "I would love to do those things with you on Christmas." Jenny said. "I should consider myself fortunate you know Santa isn't real." She frowned in confusion when the girl beside her stopped walking. She looked behind her. "Matilda, why did yo-" She froze at the look of horror on her face. No! No! No! She did not just do what she thought she did! She remained silent, a feeling of panic over taking her senses...until the girl began to burst into giggles. "Oh, you little..." "The look on your face." Matilda said, bending over to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. You did just tell a five-year-old Santa wasn't real." Miss Honey gave her a playful shove. "Keep it up, and you're getting a mug of coal for Christmas instead of hot chocolate." "If Santa was real I'd ask to stop wetting the bed." Matilda mumbled. "If Santa was real, I'd ask that it didn't bother you so much, even if you did." Matilda scrunched up her face in disgust. "Can't you just ask I not do it either?" "Hmm, nope." Miss Honey said. "Can't have you thinking I'd trade you in for a dryer model." "A dryer model?" Matilda asked with a slight giggle. "It's just an inconvenience, sweetie, you understand that, right? I'm not mad or disappointed in you in any way. None of this is your fault." "It's my body. I should be able to control it." Matilda grumbled. "If only it worked that way." Miss Honey said, wrapping an arm around Matilda's shoulder. "You remember last week when you had to wake me up from that nightmare?" "Yeah, you were screaming in your sleep." "Do you also remember that I couldn't stop shaking, and you sat up with me half the night?" "Yeah, but-" "Do you think less of me? Even though I'm an adult who has nightmares, something mostly associated with small children." Matilda frowned. "Of course not." "Just because it's your body, it doesn't mean you always have control over it, even if you want to. I'm supposed to be the adult, but you were the one having to talk me down and tell me it was just a dream. Of course, you helped me, but I still felt ashamed." "So you, sort of, understand what it feels like?" Matilda asked. "I do, more than you know." “I liked being able to help you though.” Matilda said. “You weren’t a bother.” Although she could do without getting smacked in the nose by flailing limbs. Sometimes sleeping next to Jenny was dangerous. Matilda felt the arm tighten around her. “I don’t want you to have to see me like that though. There are certain expectations with being an adult, even more so being a parent, and I’m afraid I don’t meet many of them.” Matilda stopped walking and looked up at Miss Honey. “Who says it has to be one-sided?” Matilda asked. Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “If you want to be what I need, why can’t I want the same? Why can’t we both just look out for each other? We made up our own family, why can’t we make up our own rules too? If neither of us fit into a box, then let’s be a circle.” “A circle, huh?” Jenny said with a smile. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around the small girl and held her close. “We’re in front of the school, you know.” Matilda said, but made no move to break apart. “I don’t care.” Miss Honey whispered. “You’re already everything I need.”

Part 8 – The Change As we neared the cabin, I heard a low grumbling noise from the nearby trees. The branches of the bushes near us were rustling and it sounded like some were snapping. Greg and I froze in our tracks. Greg pointed the flashlight towards the sounds as we saw this enormous silhouette covered with fur just a few feet away from us. It was very tall and looked to be standing on its hind legs. It appeared to have teeth big enough to devourer us with a single bite. I screamed at the top of my lungs as Greg quickly leaped back. During Greg’s attempt to gain distance from the dark furry beast, he accidentally knocked me on my bum. Greg turned off the flashlight hoping not to attract the thing to us whispering and motioning me to keep quiet. I was in utter panic that harm was to come of us both. I sat there on the ground in terror… crying but attempting not to make a sound. Greg planted himself to fend off the attack of the beast. He hovered over me to protect me. “CHARLEY … get back,” a voice yelled from behind the hairy creature. The animal quickly fell on all fours and scurried away from us. Jake appeared from the bushes and asked us if we were okay. “What the heck was that?” Greg asked in a scared but under control voice. “Oh … that’s Charley … he’s been hanging around these woods for years ... He’s harmless,” responded Jake. “I haven’t seen Charley around for a few weeks and never thought to caution you about him. I’m very sorry”, said Jake. I rambled unrecognizable slurred speech attempting to explain to Jake what had just happened. Another flashlight was coming towards us from the direction of the cabins. “Is everybody okay?” She asks. “Well… missy here seems a little shook up, Charley just put a little scare into the kids”, Replied Jake. The woman grew closer. “I am so sorry” she said, “Jake should have told you about Charley. He is as harmless as they come but his size can sure scare you if you do not know about him. I’m Mrs. Riley, Jakes wife.” I sat there on the ground babbling and now crying from the incident. “There ... there honey, everything is just fine. I can imagine that Charley frightened you both. I’m very sorry.” She knelt down beside me and hugged my shaking body. Mrs. Riley was a large, framed lady with her hair up in a bun. She looked like a twin to Aunt Bea from Andy of Mayberry, (the clothes and all). Mrs. Riley attempted to help me gain my composure along with helping me to my feet. Greg and Jake helped as well. “Let us just get you back to your cabin and freshened up. I have the most scrumptious apple pie and some apple cider I would like to offer you. It will help you calm down” she said. With Mrs. Riley on my left and Greg on my right holding me close, I was led back to our cabin. Jake was in front of us guiding us safely back to the cabin. It was at that moment that I remember that I was not wearing anything over my diaper and realized my diapers were soaked and soiled for anyone to see. I must have lost all control during our encounter. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. As we approached our cabin door Mrs. Riley said, “why don’t we get you freshen up? “WE” I though? “Jake, fetch the pie and cider while these kids settle down.” Greg and Mrs. Riley helped me to the chair in our cabin. When I sat down in the chair, I could feel the poop move both up the front and up the back of my diaper. I was so humiliated, and I did not think that I could get any more embarrass. Although our cabin was neat and tidy, the Juvenile apparel I had so carefully picked out was in obvious view all around the room (as well as my bottles). “Dear, let’s get you out of that stinky diaper into a nice clean one”, Mrs. Riley said. I looked into her eyes in disbelief. I’m not sure if I was still in shock from the scare or just mesmerized by the idea that this woman intended on changing my very messy diaper, but I just followed her lead as if I had been hypnotized. I looked over at Greg as he shrugged his shoulders not knowing how to deal with her actions as well. She took me over to the crib and lowed me on to the pad and went to the kitchen filling a mixing bowl with warm water. Mrs. Riley returned with the bowl and a washrag. “It’s okay dearie, I’ve changed many a diaper in my lifetime. You just lay still and let Na Na get you all cleaned up.” “Na Na is what my grandchildren call me”, Mrs. Riley told me. Her touch was soft and caring. I could see she meant no harm and had no ill thoughts of my attire or that was she the least bit apprehensive of changing my wet and messy diaper. Mrs. Riley carefully removed my print plastic pants and started to unpin my diapers. I could not believe that smell that came from my messy diaper after Mrs. Riley remove my Plastic pants. It was like Mrs. Riley never even notice the smell. I am sure that my face was bright red and was I ever dying from embarrassment. Next thing I know is that she is separating my knees and as she was pulling the front of the diaper down, she is also using the front of the diaper to clean the poop off my vagina. When she got that area clean, she grabs ahold of my ankles and lifted them up and push my legs back to my boobs. Putting my poop cover bottom on full display (I am sure that she wrapped the wash rag around a finger and put it up my bottom to clean it out) and cleaned my bottom area with a skill only a grandmother would have. She asked Greg to fetch her some fresh diapers and plastic panties as she concentrated to be sure I was cleaned up. I felt almost paralyzed as she lifted my legs again to center the diapers under my bum. She asks Greg where the diaper rash lotion was. The look on Greg face was priceless. It had a look of the last thing that I thought she was going to do was to poop herself. All what Greg could come up with was that we left it at home. Mrs. Riley looks at Greg with a disappoint look and said do not worry about it I have some at home that I can let you use. I was thinking that this woman is expecting me to mess my diaper again, there was no way in hell that is going to happen. Mrs. Riley started to apply baby lotion all over my bottom and then she moved up to my vagina, after just a few seconds of her rubbing the lotion around my vagina, I wanted to tell her to stop. I was starting to get turn on again and that was the last thing that I wanted. Next, she started with the powder, and again I needed to have her stop what she was doing. Luckily, she stops in time before I got to a point of no return. She pinned my diapers tightly with the diaper pins and then slid the plastic panties over my feet and up to my knees. She again lifted my bum to pull the panties up and made sure the diapers were completely covered by the plastic panties. (at least Greg had brought plain pastel pink plastic panties and not my fancy or printed ones). “Okay … there ya go sweetie. Clean and dry.” Mrs. Riley took my dirty diapers into the rest room and rinsed them out in the toilet. Returning to the room, she placed them in the garbage pail we were using as a diaper pail. Neither Greg nor I had said a single word since we had reentered the cabin. Jake knocked on the door as he entered the cabin with a tray containing the pie and a jug, which had to be the cider. The aroma of the pie smelled yummy. Mrs. Riley told us that because of the incident with Charley she would refund all of our money as well as give us a free weekend anytime we could find the time to return. She felt that it was only fair to show us that our comfort and enjoyment of the camp was more important than the money. “If we can’t have happy customers, we wouldn’t have dedicated our lives to this place” she stated. “That includes your food and beverages, and I will be by in the morning to wash the contents of the diaper pail, and I won’t take no for an answer. It’s the least I can do for you after what you’ve been through.” Mrs. Riley picked up the bib from the highchair and started to put the bib around my neck as I flinched to her approach. “I can only assume all of these things are here for a reason” she stated as she pushed my hands away with her wrist and continued to tie the bib on me. She lifted me into the highchair like I was a rag doll and proceeded to buckle me in and locks the tray. Mrs. Riley brought over the pie to the table and asked Greg to fill the 3 glasses with cider. ‘Wait, there are four of us here I was thinking to myself.’ Mrs. Riley answered my confusion with the bottle she was holding for Greg to fill next. Mrs. Riley sat in the chair next to me and took my hand. Jake took Greg’s and they both lowered their heads. Mrs. Riley asked, “Greg, could you please hold … what’s your name dear?” she asked as she looked towards me. “Kristen”, I replied. “Oh, what a darling name, now Greg, hold Kristen’s hand so we can give thanks for our food”. We all bowed our heads as Mrs. Riley blessed our food in prayer. “Amen”, we all responded to when she had ended. Mrs. Riley put a small portion of pie on a spoon and started to feed me. I’m sure the look of shock on my face was priceless. Plus, here I was sitting in a highchair with just a diaper and a t-shirt on, with a bib, thinking I just had a woman that I didn’t know until tonight change me out of a wet and messy diaper. I just knew that the next three days could not get any stranger then what has happened today. How wrong I was with that thought. She rambled about how she enjoyed cooking and that most of her recipes were in the family for years. ‘OH NO, she’s worse than Jake’ I was thinking to myself. Mrs. Riley continued to spoon-feed me as she and Jake took charge of the conversation. Greg seldom had any chance to respond with the two of them controlling the conversation. And I was not sure if I was allowed to be involved in the discussion. I just took each spoonful Mrs. Riley placed to my lips. When I had finished, Mrs. Riley cleaned my face and hands then removed me from the highchair and carried me over to the rocking chair. Nestling me in her arms, she placed my bottle to my lips, and I started to suck on the nipple. She never missed a beat. She just continued to talk about everything under the sun, feeding me my bottle as if I were one of her grandchildren. I could not believe that here I am laying in a woman’s arms, wearing a diaper, and being feed a baby bottle. “Good girl ... You drank it all”. “Well … we’ll let you kids get some rest” as she picked me up gave me a big hug and kissed me on the forehead. “Goodnight Greg, night night Kristen” she said as she headed for the door. “Goodnight and thank you Mrs. Riley” I said”. “Please call me Na Na” she asked. Greg and Jake said their goodbyes as well as Jake closed the door behind him. “Care to tell me what just happened?” I asked Greg in uncertainty. “Well, I think you have two new Grandparents” he said with this most content look on his face. “OMG, this is insane”, I said. “I know” Greg replied. “I couldn’t have planned this any better. Each part of the day just keeps getting more awesome.” Greg gave me another one of his passionate kisses that took me off my feet. He carried me to my crib and laid me down. Greg went to the dresser and returned with a new pacifier (I have no clue what happened to the one I was so contently sucking when that monster from the bushes appeared). Greg covered me up with a blanket, kissed me goodnight, placed the pacifier in my mouth then gently started to rub my plastic panties.

IV “Various/Anonymous, New York, NY & Home” I was quickly learning that having an interest in wearing and using diapers is almost no fun when you don’t have diapers. Wetting the bed was one thing, I couldn’t control that, but as I scrubbed the wet spot I’d made on the couch and the carpet below, I chastised myself for not waiting until I had diapers to do something like wet myself. I’d opened the nearby window to vent the smell and scrubbed the cloth of the couch until I was confident I’d gotten the brunt of it clean, then did the same for the rug before the discomfort of wet pants made me strip out of my wet bottoms to throw them into the wash before I went for another shower. The cleaning fumes in the living room kept me from hanging out there after my shower so I grabbed my mother’s box and took it to my room and went and got my clean bedding from the drier to make my bed before I settled in to read another of her envelopes. My curiosity was piqued at the heading and the lack of a date, the breaking of the running theme to that point made me wonder what this envelope had in store for me as I opened it and set the photos aside to read the journal pages. “Ten minutes after I left Lisa’s house I stopped in a parking lot and threw all the diapers and plastic panties in the van into a dumpster. I must’ve looked insane, sobbing uncontrollably and screaming obscenities at stacks of cloth diapers as the sailed into the dumpster. If no one thought I was insane for that, then me hiking my dress up to remove the soaked diaper and plastic panties I was wearing to throw that away had to have done the trick. Sufficiently purged of the things I’d chosen to unload my rage and pain on instead of Lisa, I got back in the van and set out to get out of Florida and never return.” My phone dinged and I picked it up and actually squealed excitedly when I saw that my order would arrive at some point that day. “No more wet clothes and bed for this girl!” I thought to myself, realizing with a blush just how silly I sounded being excited to have diapers coming in the mail. I pushed that self consciousness out of my head and set my phone back down to resume reading the journal pages. “By the time I reached New York the van was positively rank with the smell of the accidents I’d had along the way. I kicked myself for throwing out the diapers, the awful discomfort of a developing rash on my butt and private area from sitting on a wet seat for hours on end. I’d thankfully been able to stop for the other need, otherwise I probably would’ve had to cut my trip short because I’d set fire to my van to destroy the evidence.” I tried to imagine being in my mother’s position, having grown so accustomed to wearing and using diapers that not having them ensured disaster for wherever you happened to sit for any length of time, and once again I was struck with such an odd sense of feeling like the woman I’d grown up “knowing” truly was a stranger in so many ways. I’d never in a million years have guessed that the woman that I’d spent my entire time growing up with, the over packer and over preparer was, at one point in her life, in a situation where she developed a rash because she’d had to drive in a piss soaked seat across the country because she’d thrown out all of her diapers. “The hotel I was staying in was alarmingly gross, roaches ran when I flipped on the lights, rats scratched and gnawed within the walls, a man in the hallway that smelled embarrassingly similar to myself had yelled a string of obscenities at the wall he was facing and made me not just jump in surprise when he did so, but sent a small trail of wetness cascading down my thighs in response. So, with all of these setbacks in mind, it’s little wonder that I spent the better part of my first two days in the city in bed crying in a fetal position, moving to the dingy bathtub when I’d accidentally soiled the mattress when nearby gunshots rang out in the night.” I felt like crying for the state my mother found herself in, down on her luck in every conceivable way, unclean, alone and frightened in a huge city with no one and nothing to pull her back from the brink of depression and anxiety. Reminding myself that she ended up fine, a mother to an amazing daughter, owner of her own home, a successful adult by all accounts helped, but it was rough reading about how hard she’d had to struggle at such a young age. “I reinvented myself in New York, I became ‘Clara’, a young woman with her life together and the confidence to walk the streets of the big city unaccompanied as she took photographs for the successful magazine she worked at, but never at night, I’m not suicidal.” I smiled at this news, my mother turning things around for herself, getting out of her funk and on with her life to make the best of her time in New York. “When you hold up a camera to take a photograph of someone, you have a chance of them stopping whatever photo worthy thing they were doing when they noticed you, acknowledging the camera and smiling or waving or showing a peace sign, or telling you rudely not to take their photo, but New York seemed to be a city full of people so busy and focused on their day to day lives that I was free to catch more candid photos of people doing things than I had been in California or Florida. ‘Clara’ never asked for people’s names when she talked to them, that wasn’t her style, she was interested in the story the picture told, not the story the person would spin when asked about what they were doing or thinking or why. The old man playing chess in the park with another old man wouldn’t like to be asked about the numbers tattooed on the inside of his forearm or his relation to the man he was playing with, he just wanted to play chess and share a laugh with another person. The woman hanging her wet clothes on the line connecting one building to another high above the alleyway didn’t want to have her dirty laundry aired while she aired her clean laundry, she was more concerned with the lack of progress she’d been able to make on the coveralls stained with grease and finding out from her neighbor across the line whether the casserole recipe she’d shared had turned out or not. No one paid ‘Clara’ any mind as they bustled down the sidewalks and passed by her, the only time people acknowledged her was when she was ordering food from them or hurrying to the bathroom to avoid an accident, which were happening much less frequently since she’d stopped dwelling on Lisa and her discarded diapers. Moving on from those things and focusing on the people and places around her brought a calm to ‘Clara’ that put her back on track on her adventure.” I was so proud of my mother for everything she’d endured, proud of her for rising above all of it and focusing on her mission of taking pictures and seeing the sights her country had to offer. “By the time I left New York I’d replaced the sadness of losing Lisa and my diapers with the loss of the city I’d come to love in a short time. I loved the way that people moved down the sidewalk so quickly but never touched one another, I loved that the wind carried scents that came in waves, changing from delicious food to sweat to garbage, back to food to urine and back to food, the bad smells not lingering long enough to make you disgusted and the good smells disappearing just in time for your stomach to grumble about wanting whatever food had just been identified. I loved that people were rude when people acted stupid but were polite through silence when everything was running smoothly, I loved that a train ride became theater when a man with a bird perched on his shoulder got the creature to speak and thanked people when a coin was dropped into his tin cup. Growing up in a suburban sprawl of cookie cutter houses that tried so hard to capture what the fantasy of the “American Dream” was by erecting picket fences and keeping the neighborhood as devoid of anyone darker than said fences out as possible meant that I never got to hear arguments in foreign languages, never got to see kids of every race playing in the water gushing from a hydrant on a hot afternoon, the rainbow in the mist of the spray perfectly mirroring the rainbow of races enjoying the refreshing water and onlookers from stoops and storefronts smiling rather than pulling their child away from the different looking kids. A part of me resented being white when seeing these people working their hard jobs and struggling to scratch out a living while I knew that my mother was probably playing bridge with her WASPy friends and having too much wine and my father was golfing somewhere that would call the police if anyone resembling the people I’d seen came within a hundred feet of the country club.” I sighed at my mother’s stance, sad that in all the time since she’d experienced these things, very little had changed with regards to inequity regarding race and equality for all peoples. She was having her mindset changed through experience while passing that belief structure on to me as I grew up, doing what little she could to make a difference by not being part of perpetuating the problem. Again, I was proud of my mother and wished that I’d seen more of the side of her I was learning about when I was old enough to appreciate it. “Back at home I developed my pictures, leaving the ones from Florida for last and prepared to start school. I continued taking pictures, but found the passion sapped from me surrounded by nothing but college students from the same wealth bracket, that is until I met Kevin.” I perked up. “Kevin grew up in what was commonly referred to as “the wrong side of the tracks”, which is to say that Kevin’s parents both worked hard to support their three kids and had managed to be able to send Kevin to college to ensure that he went further in his life than they had. He was smart and funny and tall, his height triggering my inner child once more when we met and I had to crane my neck to look up at him. We had a photography class together and had to share our portfolio’s with the class on the first day, his photos were amazing, an old train going by as three little kids, the oldest in a t-shirt that went down to his shins, the middle jumping excitedly showing his bare feet sticking out of the bottoms of the legs of his torn jeans, and the youngest in a drooping diaper mid fall onto their butt as the middle child they’d been holding onto betrayed their trust by jumping suddenly, excitedly cheered the train on for no reason other than it was a big noisy train that was cool to be so close to. There was an old, blind, black man sitting on a porch with an equally old dog laying asleep beside the rocking chair, the mason jar of foggy liquid, most likely lemonade, sweating on the knotty wooden table beside him as he was in mid laugh. The way Kevin captured innocuous things and presented them as both seemingly supremely important and also beautiful was what drew me to him, that and he really was just amazingly pleasant to listen to and look at.” I’d taken a break from reading my mother’s journal to put my shorts and panties into the drier and to check the front door for the package that had arrived, finding a large box sitting beside the door that I dragged inside and opened excitedly like Christmas morning was happening. Babyish diapers in my size? Check. Bottles? Check. Pacifiers? Check. Wipes and powder? Check and check. I secreted the box to my room and wasted no time in changing into my new acquisition, the feeling of the thick padding hugging my body sending my fingers to the crinkly center of the front of my diaper almost as soon as the last tape was secured. I stopped myself long enough to open the pack of pacifiers and slip one into my mouth before I went to work on myself, christening my new diaper with a gush of pure bliss before sullying it with a full bladder’s worth of pee, leaving my nether regions floating for a moment before everything was soaked up and my once white diaper was now splotched with deep yellow. “After class we talked, sharing our mutual respect and appreciation for one another’s pictures, the conversation moved from the hall outside the classroom to the library, the topic changing to my travels and his family, then from the library to a diner a few miles away that he drove us to, the conversation shifting to our relationship statuses, and then to us in the backseat of his car, the conversation devolving into little more than grunts and moans. Life became more normal with Kevin as my boyfriend, sure, he wasn’t satisfying my inner child as Lisa had, but he wasn’t hurting her either. He’d do little things that meant nothing to him but made me feel small and looked after, like letting me wear his jacket when the wind got chilly, the size difference between us making me look like a little girl wearing her daddy’s jacket, he’d let me ride on his back when it was getting late and we’d been walking all day, he’d hold me after sex and make me feel like I was safe in the strength of his arms. I grew comfortable being in a relationship devoid of anything weirder than anal sex, the feeling that I’d been so silly to pin all my hopes and dreams on a Mommy/baby relationship with Lisa that I lost sight of the normal things we could and should’ve been doing as a couple made me feel badly for how selfish I’d been with Lisa and a reminder to sit down and write her a letter to let her know how sorry I was for losing sight of how important she was to me in favor of focusing on what she could do for me.” I slipped off into a nap shortly after my fifth orgasm in my heavy, sodden diaper, the pacifier in my mouth working slowly and rhythmically between my lips as my eyes closed and sleep overtook me. ********* I dreamed of Florence again, though she wasn’t in charge anymore, but rather was with me in the overly large playpen in the living room. We were both topless, our bulky diapers on full display as she lay on her back with a soft toy in her mouth, squeaking it as she chewed on it and kicked her legs lazily in the air while I watched her without trying to seem like I was watching her as I pretended to build a block tower. My mother came up to the side of the playpen and smiled down at me, her towering height bringing a dribble of wetness into my diaper as I looked up and up and up until I finally found her face. “Go play with her, Maddy.” she urged in an ethereal and distant sounding voice. I nodded and crawled to Florence, clumsily losing my stride and falling flat on my face right in the warm, wet padding of her diapered crotch. My phone ringing woke me up and I answered the phone groggily with what might’ve been words. “Shit, I woke you, didn’t I?” Florence asked. I mumbled something I thought could be construed as words assuring her things were fine. “Riiight.” she said, drawing the word out as though she didn’t believe my incoherent burbling was normal and not because I’d just been having another dream about her after cumming my brains out into my wet diaper. “Well, I’ll text you in case you don’t remember this conversation, but I won’t be able to come out there for another week, there’s a dog show coming to town and I’m going to be crazy busy with people doing check ups on their dogs.” she explained. “S’fine.” I mumbled. Her smile was on her voice. “Go back to sleep, baby, I’ll talk to you soon.” she said. “Love you.” she added. I smiled and felt my heart skip a beat at the knowledge that she still loved me, even just as friends, though I sincerely hoped if she was planning on coming all the way out to see me she was at least somewhat interested in rekindling our romance. Sleep kicked me in the head hard and forced me back to sleep, my dreams evaporated and only deeply replenishing rest remaining. ********* When I woke up I was elated to find the bed bone dry and even more elated to find my diaper soaked but not leaking. I changed into a fresh one and made myself some coffee before diving back into my mother’s odyssey. “Much like with Lisa, there was a moment where I actually felt content that this could be the person I spent the rest of my life with, Kevin had fulfilled me as Lisa had without me wearing diapers or playing baby and that meant that we were together because of the people we were and not because of something that turned us on. When he broke up with me because he’d gotten another girl pregnant I felt every disappointment and betrayal I had with Lisa magnified a hundred fold because his cheating on me had gone unnoticed to the point that he’d formed a strong enough relationship with another woman to want to marry her and raise their child together while making me feel like I was the only person woman in his life.” I sighed heavily at another setback in my mother’s happiness, the happiness I’d felt for her bouncing back from Lisa deflating as she had to deal with not just losing another love but also being cheated on which I knew from experience hurt just as much if not more than being dumped. “By the time school ended for the year, I was moping around the house with nothing to do and no one to do it with, spending most days in bed feeling sorry for myself. I started slipping back into the bad habits of my youth that Summer, returning to arguing with my mother like I’d done in middle and high school, sleeping the day away and sneaking out at night to drink and smoke pot with the kids from high school that hadn’t gone to college. I started intentionally wetting the bed in an attempt to get back to the diapers that made me feel safe and secure, but all I got was lectures about ruining the mattress and a plastic sheet and my mother and father limiting my fluid intake before bed. Faced with the reality that wetting the bed wasn’t cutting the mustard, I started wetting myself during the day, ruining a couch and two chairs before my mother finally relented and had my father bring home toweling diapers and plastic pants from the drugstore. So it was that my second infancy beneath my parent’s roof began, my days of sleeping replaced with playing on the floor of my room in my diaper, a swell of pride when my mother wanted there to be shame at the diapers and plastic pants hanging on the line to dry for the neighbors to see, I loved it and she hated it, taking every opportunity to make snide remarks and belittle me in an effort to bring me out of my infantile behavior and back to my normal age in time to return to college when school started back up. I never wavered and never gave in. When she pushed, I pushed back, when she unpinned my diaper and spanked me, thinking that a childish punishment would snap me out of the “game I was playing”, I wet myself on her lap, when she tried to publicly shame me by pushing me out of the house in nothing but my diaper and shirt, I squatted down and messed myself and forced myself to start crying as I wailed “Mommy” at the top of my lungs until she opened the door and let me back in with a look of disgust on her face. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when they committed me, but it did.” My arm and jaw went slack as I finished the final page, searching the bed and envelope for more pages and groaning in frustration when none were found. Committed? I couldn’t believe that my mother had been committed for being an AB, or at all for that matter, she’d obviously never mentioned anything about it, though she’d also told me her parents had died before I was born and now I wondered if that was actually true and not just something she’d made up to keep the truth from me. I sighed and picked up her photos. The same thing she said she loved about Kevin’s work was just as true with hers, the lighting on the two men playing chess in the park made them look like statues in deep contemplation of a move that was forever waiting to be made. The woman hanging her laundry on the line above the alley looked forlorn in a way that only seeing an endless routine of washing and hanging clothes until the day you died unfulfilled and full of regret at the life you wasted. The kids playing in the hydrant were so happy despite all the signs of poverty around them, the smiling onlookers didn’t just seem to be smiling because it was heartwarming to see kids having fun and cooling off on a hot day, they seemed to be smiling because they remembered hot days being combated in the same way, they seemed to smile because for a moment they could focus on something pure and innocent while various ism’s and worldly concerns stalked their waking world. She had pictures of the overly tall and ridiculously good looking Kevin, pictures of the two of them together as a couple before he betrayed her and broke her heart. One in particular of her on his back, head rested against him hid the “inner child” she’d spoken about, the thing I knew to be her Little side, she was wearing his jacket and looked almost like a baby in a papoose on his bag all bundled up in the oversized garment, to the untrained eye they looked like a happy couple that had stopped to take a photo of something chivalrous being shared between them, but I could see the contentment in her tired eyes, the look of a young woman about to put her thumb in her mouth and drift of to sleep while Daddy carried her to bed on his strong back. The final picture was of my mother on the floor of her room in her diaper and plastic pants, a well worn looking doll clutched against her bare breast, the tan lines of bikini tops shielding the goods from the Summer sun stark white against the tanned rest of her body. There were wooden blocks littering the floor around her and her hair was a mess as though she’d literally tumbled out of bed and snapped a photo with no concern to her appearance given. The thing that struck me the most about the photo was the look on both her face and in her eyes, it was the exact same that I’d seen in her photo’s with Lisa, a pure innocence without a hint of shame or embarrassment. I sat back and wondered if she truly was just a baby at heart and allowing that to be her outer facade rather than laying dormant within made her so blissfully happy that it showed in her face and eyes without looking for it, or if she was just such a good actress that she could capture a baby’s innocence just by pretending. Whatever the case, I didn’t look forward to continuing her saga and learning that her parents had killed that part of her by putting her in a hospital. To Be Continued….

Chapter Nine Zelda Illiana’s moans and cries of passion died down once she came and I slowed my lapping speed until I was gently cleaning the mess she’d made with kitten like lightness. I looked up at her over her stomach and felt a stirring inside my diaper as I saw her erect nipples straining against her thin shirt. Wiping her juices from my face, I crawled forward and lay beside her, gently draping my arm over her middle, feeling the rise and fall of her stomach as she tried to catch her breath. I thought about kissing her again, wanting to kiss her to prolong the physical intimacy for as long as possible but also because she was exceedingly nice to kiss. “This never happened.” she panted, looking at me briefly from the corner of her eye before she sighed contentedly and closed them once more. I started wetting my diaper as the gears in my head started turning. “You don’t want Athena to find out about this then?” I probed. She shook her head. “She told me the rules and I promised her nothing would happen,” she scoffed, “shit, I never thought anything would happen.” she said incredulously. I nodded softly, “So, I should keep this a secret then?” I asked her. She nodded her agreement but didn’t say anything. I cleared my throat, “What do I get for keeping your secret?” I asked, my heartbeat quickening as I stepped off the edge into uncharted territory. Her eyes opened and she turned her head to stare at me in disbelief, “Are you blackmailing me?” she asked in surprise. I shook my head, “No, but I am making sure that if you’re happy and Athena is happy that I’m happy too.” I said innocently. She stared for a bit longer, “I thought you were happy.” she said. I shrugged nonchalantly, “I could be happier.” I told her. Her face softened and she sighed contentedly once more and closed her eyes, “What do you want?” she asked. I swallowed hard, “I want you to help me make a dating profile on the site you met Athena on.” I told her. Again, her eyes went wide and again she was staring in disbelief, “You’re married!” she reminded me. I nodded, “To a beautiful woman that I love very much.” I agreed, “But…” I trailed off, feeling extremely nervous about what I needed to say and struggling to form the words, “you were right.” I finally squeaked out. Her eyebrow raised, “About?” she asked. I closed my eyes and chewed my bottom lip, “I’m curious about being with a man.” I blurted out as quickly as possible as though the words were fire in my mouth. She smiled and rolled onto her side to face me, her warm hand caressing my cheek softly for a moment before she sweetly kissed my lips. “I know that was hard to admit, but I’m very proud of you for saying it.” she said. “But, I’m not proud of you blackmailing me.” she added sternly. I nodded softly, “I’m sorry, I promise I won’t tell anyone anything about what happened.” I apologized, slipping effortlessly back into my role as the submissive baby girl of the house. She nodded softly, “Thank you.” she said warmly, looking like she wanted to kiss me once more but stopping herself and shaking her head before chuckling softly, “Sorry, I get really affectionate and kinda clingy after sex.” she said before rolling away and sliding off the edge of the crib, stretching with her back to me and giving me a nice view of her bare butt before she turned and picked up her shorts and panties and dressed herself. “So, what kind of profile are we making?” she asked while as she shimmied into her clothes. I shrugged, “What do you think?” I asked, “I’ve never done something like this before.” I admitted. She smiled at me and buttoned her shorts, “Well, I assume you’re looking for someone that would be interested in a baby girl,” she said, “unless you just want a grownup relationship.” she offered. I shook my head softly and blushed, “I think someone that likes diapers and baby stuff would be best.” I said. She nodded and reached her hands out for me to take and pulled me to the end of the crib, smiling as she looked down at the front of my diaper, “You’re just a little fountain, aren’t you?” she teased, gently pressing her fingers to the still warm plastic. She helped me out and kissed my cheek before she hugged me, “Why don’t we get you dressed and then we can talk about your profile.” she said, going back to the closet for something for me to wear. ********* Illiana sat on the couch with me laying beside her, my head on her thigh as she worked on her laptop, periodically reaching over to stroke my head while I quietly sucked my pacifier. I looked down at the dress she’d put me in and felt very cute, the little circles of baby blue and pink and yellow on the white cotton reminded me of the Wonder Bread package in the best possible way, bringing back memories of my mother making me PB&J with the crusts cut off when I was her baby girl. “Would you like to hear what I’ve got so far?” she asked, looking down at me. I nodded softly and sucked harder on my pacifier. She put her hand on my arm and lightly stroked my shoulder with her thumb, “My name is Zelda and I am a thirty four year old, married man that is exploring the baby girl within. I enjoy wearing and using diapers, dressing up in cute and or pretty outfits, and playing. I’m looking for a man that will nurture the baby girl inside me as well as exploring a sexual relationship. I’ve never been intimate with a man before, so we would need to take things slowly, so patience is key when it comes to interested parties. As I said, I am happily married and not looking to change that, so any dates or encounters would need to be discreet and somewhere that isn’t my home. I’m very excited to meet someone!” she read. My stomach fluttered as she read and I found myself smiling behind my pacifier when she finished, looking up at her as she looked down at me, “I like it.” I said happily. “Thank you.” I added. She smiled and nodded, “Of course, sweetheart!” she chirped. “This is the picture I used.” she said, lifting her laptop up and tilting it above me to show me the picture. The picture was of me in the lavender dress on the night of my “birthday party”, I was smiling behind my pacifier at the camera, my diapers peeking out beneath the dress as I sat with my legs splayed in front of me in a very unladylike pose, but I looked adorable and was sure that if anyone were going to be interested in me, that photo would be the thing that did it. “Look good?” she asked me, smiling at me again. I nodded excitedly. “What happens now?” I asked. She returned the computer to her other side and clicked a few times before closing her laptop and setting it aside on the side table, “Now, you wait for messages!” she cooed, lifting my head and turning herself so I was resting my head between her legs. “There are rules for this, honey.” she warned. “What kinda rules?” I asked. “First, you’re not meeting anyone without me knowing about it and approving them.” she said as she began to lightly scrape my scalp with her fingernails, making me melt where I lay. “Second, no sex on the first date.” she said. I blushed but nodded. “And finally, and this is the most important one, this is our secret and even if you meet a man that you fall in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with, you will tell me and only me about it and we will tell Athena and Petra about all of this together if we need to.” she said. I nodded again, “Yes, ma’am.” I agreed. “Do you really think I could fall in love with someone?” I asked. She smiled down at me and shrugged, “I don’t know, angel, but we need to be open to that possibility, right?” she asked. I shrugged softly, “I guess so?” I said quizzically. “For right now, you just relax and be my cute and sweet little Zelly baby.” she said, sliding her hands down the length of my body to lift the hem of my dress upward to expose my diaper. “It’s almost time for your nap, and someone didn’t make her morning poopy.” she warned. I nodded obediently and closed my eyes as I pushed down on my bowels and began to fill my diaper at her implied request, opening my eyes to see her smiling widely down at me and making my cheeks flush once more. “Good girl.” she praised as she lightly rubbed my exposed tummy before giving it a little tickle that made me giggle and squirm. “God, if I was a guy, I’d absolutely snatch you up.” she mused, leaning down, “Then again, with how good your little mouth is, I’m having trouble not wanting to do that as a woman.” she whispered before suppressing a giggle as she blushed. ********* My dreams during my nap were kind of all over the place, I was at my D&D game night with my guy friends but then Alan was scooting back his chair and patting his lap and I wasn’t Zack anymore, I was Zelda, but not the Zelda that existed now, the Zelda of the future, her hair grown out to shoulder length and done into twin pigtails on either side of her head, her bubblegum pink lipstick and other face makeup giving her the look of a woman until she stood up, bulky diapers rustling beneath her pretty pink, frill adorned dress and toddled over to Alan to park herself on his lap. Alan was a tall, skinny guy around my age. He was clean shaven and as he watched me waddle over to him, the lenses of his horn rimmed glasses reflected the light making his eyes invisible beneath the glow. He smiled broadly as I took my place on his lap, facing the rest of the men gathered around the table. I felt his dick beneath me, even through my diaper and his pants, pressing against my butt, feeling harder with each passing second. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nestled his face between my shoulder and jaw and lightly kissed my neck, making me shudder with pleasure as his hand went beneath my dress and began to rub my achingly stiff cock. The room faded away and we were no longer at the table, but laying together in bed, him behind me and me as his little spoon, his strong arms wrapped around my middle as he teased the head of his cock against the crack of my butt. “Does Zelly need Daddy’s toy?” he whispered into my ear. I nodded eagerly and wiggled my bottom against his hardness, gasping and moaning softly as he entered me and kissed my shoulder, his gentleness and strong embrace making me feel every bit the baby girl I felt like. Things shifted again and Robert, another of my D&D friends was standing in front of where I lay on the bed, Alan still satisfying me from behind. Robert’s massive black cock was hanging in front of me, and I felt myself begin to drool as he picked it up like a giant burrito and held it to my lips. “Did you have a nice nap?” Illiana asked as she lowered the side of the crib and handed me a bottle of apple juice to drink. My face felt flushed and I nodded softly as I nursed the offered bottle. “Are you okay?” she asked, pressing the back of her hand to my forehead, “You’re so warm.” she said, her tone tinged with worry. I popped the nipple of the bottle from my mouth, “I had a sex dream.” I confessed. She smirked and sat down on the mattress beside me, “Must’ve been a steamy one.” she teased. I sheepishly nodded. “About me?” she asked. I shook my head and returned the bottle to my mouth, the cool liquid a welcome relief to my dry mouth and throat. “Petra?” she asked. I shook my head again. She smirked and giggled, “A boy?” she asked. I blushed hotly and nodded. “Aww!” she gushed. “Anyone I know?” she asked. I shook my head and popped the nipple from my mouth again, “Some guys I played D&D with.” I confessed. “God, it feels like forever since we played that.” she mused. “Wait, guys? As in multiple?” she asked. I nodded. She scooted closer. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, tell me all about it, girl!” she urged. I took my time and reluctantly told her the details of the dream and she sat entranced the whole time until I was done and she pulled me into a big hug. “That’s a big deal, honey.” she told me, “I didn’t have sex dreams about girls until I met Petra, and that was because we’d actually had sex when we met.” she explained. “Good for you!” she praised. “It’s not weird?” I asked. “I mean, that I dreamed about having sex with two guys I’m not even remotely attracted to?” I clarified. “No, it’s not weird, and I’m sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, but I think you might be a smidge attracted to them.” she said. “But who cares? It’s not like you’re planning on showing up to your D&D game as Zelda and forcing yourself on them, right?” she asked. I shook my head vehemently. “So no big deal.” she said. “Now, I made you a yummy lunch and I think we should watch a movie together after you eat and we can snuggle on the couch together, sound good?” she asked. I nodded and hugged her again. “Thank you, Illiana.” I said softly. She kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back, “Anytime, cutie, what are babysitters for?” she asked as she pulled away and stood up, fetching my dress from the closet and slipping it on over my head before she helped me up and out of the crib and led me by the hand out to the dining room. ********* The rest of the day was spent watching a Rom Com and cuddling on the couch followed by a bath for me after another messy diaper, and then me sitting at the dining room table coloring a picture for Petra and another for Athena while Illiana made dinner. By the time the car pulled into the driveway dinner was nearly done and Illiana urged me to greet Petra and Athena at the door with my pictures, so I hurried over, pictures in hand, and waited like an eager puppy for the front door to open. “...in the bathroom for me, young lady.” Athena was finishing saying as she opened the door and jumped when she turned from Petra to see me standing there in my pink onesie and fuzzy pink slippers with the fake jewels adorning the top. “Well, hello, Zelda.” she said, her face changing to a smile. I held up her picture to her, “I colored this for you.” I declared. She took the picture and looked at it and then set her purse down to hug me tightly, “It’s lovely, sweetie, thank you!” she gushed. I looked over her shoulder at Petra, her bottom lip quivering and her eyes puffy and red, her eye makeup smudged and wiggled out of Athena’s arms to go to Petra and hug her. “I colored you a picture too, Petra.” I said softly. “What happened to her?” I asked Athena. Athena stood up and sighed. “Nothing you need to worry about, angel.” she said. She turned to Illiana in the kitchen, “Hi, baby.” she said wearily, “Dinner smells amazing, but we need a bit before we’ll be ready to eat.” she explained. Illiana nodded, “Anything I can do to help?” she asked. Athena shook her head, “Just keep everything warm and keep Zelda entertained.” she said. I let Petra go, standing dumbly with the picture I’d colored for her in my hand as Athena took her by the hand and led her down the hall. Illiana appeared beside me a moment later and rubbed my back, “I think maybe Petra had a rough day, honey, but Mommy will sort her out.” she told me. “Why don’t we put her picture by her place at the table so she can see it before dinner.” she offered. We sat together on the couch while we waited for Athena and Petra to return, Illiana cuddling me once more as I sucked my pacifier and fretted about Petra. When they did return, Petra was dressed in her footed pajamas and nighttime diaper, still being led by the hand by Athena who had changed into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. Athena led Petra to the table and pulled out her chair for her and pushed it in when she’d sat down. “Alright, we’re ready.” she declared, turning her attention to us. Petra was smiling at the picture I’d colored for her and smiled at me as Illiana helped me into my highchair. “How was work?” Illiana asked Athena. Athena was pouring wine for herself and Illiana and sighed wearily, “A day of tears from pulled hair by a boy clearly crushing on a girl, lecturing two boys about why the drinking fountain isn’t a toy, and then I learn that little Petra wet her panties at work.” she explained, shooting a sharp gaze at Petra. “What happened?” Illiana asked Athena rather than Petra. “Tell her the story.” Athena commanded Petra as the pair brought plates of food out to the table, my plate going on the highchair tray and Petra’s going on the cloth mat in front of her. “Can’t you tell her?” Petra whined. Athena sighed. “Clearly I should’ve spanked you before I got you ready for bed.” she said, her annoyance palpable as she sat down and Illiana set her plate in front of her and sat down next to her with her own plate. “Tell her the story or you can go to bed without dinner.” she warned. Petra pouted. “I had a really long meeting and I couldn’t leave to go to the bathroom and I accidentally peed a little when I was hurrying to the bathroom because I almost bumped into a lady coming out when I was going in.” she hurriedly explained. Illiana looked to me and smiled, “Eat your dinner, baby.” she sweetly urged when she saw me looking sympathetically at Petra. I did as she asked, spearing my green beans with my pink plastic baby fork and putting them into my mouth. “So now, she gets to wear training panties for a week, and if there’s even a drop of pee in them she’s back to diapers for a week, isn’t that right, Petra?” Athena asked. Petra sulked and chewed her dinner glumly, “Yes, Mommy.” she said quietly. Athena turned her gaze to Illiana, “How was your day?” she asked in a much brighter tone than the one she’d used with Petra. “Fine, Zelda took the day off because she wasn’t feeling well and we cuddled on the couch and watched a movie and she colored a picture for each of you.” Illiana explained. Athena turned to me, “Are you feeling better, honey?” she asked. I nodded and put one of the little cut up pieces of pork into my mouth. Athena smiled and turned her attention back to Illiana, “Did she get her nap?” she asked. Illiana nodded. “Right on time.” she confirmed. “Well, at least there are some good girls in this house.” Athena said, glancing at Petra who blushed and quietly continued eating. “It was an accident!” Petra exclaimed. Athena sighed and stood up, putting her napkin down on the table, “Say goodnight to everyone, young lady.” she commanded, going around the table and pulling Petra’s chair out to snatch her by the wrist and pull her to her feet before dragging her down the hall. Illiana stood and brought her chair over to the side of the highchair and sighed as she sat down and took my fork from me to start feeding me, “That girl just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut, does she?” she asked rhetorically. “Is she gonna be okay?” I asked after swallowing my bite. Illiana nodded. “Athena will punish her and make her cry, but she’s a very good and loving Mommy and she would never hurt anyone, honey.” she told me. ********* After dinner and helping clear the table, Athena and Illiana put me into the crib with Petra, giving me a bottle of warm breast milk to nurse as they each kissed my forehead and wished me a good night before putting up the side of the crib and leaving me in the nightlight lit room with my still sniffling wife. I snuggled in behind her and hugged her tightly from behind while I drank my bottle. “It really was an accident.” Petra said quietly, her words muffled by the pacifier she was sucking. I set the bottle aside and kissed the back of her head, “I believe you.” I told her. She sighed, “I really did try to make it, and be a good girl.” she said sadly. My years as a Daddy kicked back in and I gently rubbed her stomach through her fleece pajamas, “It’ll be okay.” I reassured her, “Mommy isn’t really mad at you, she’s just trying to help.” I reminded her. She took my hand in hers and gently moved it from her stomach, “That’s not a good idea right now.” she said softly. “Sorry.” I said sheepishly. She rolled over to face me and pulled the pacifier from her mouth to kiss my lips softly, “Don’t be sorry.” she said. “It’s very sweet and I do like it when you rub my tummy, but I was so stressed all day about my accident that my tummy isn’t very happy.” she admitted. “You gotta poop?” I asked. She nodded softly and whimpered. I sighed, “Why didn’t you go before she got you ready for bed?” I asked. “I can’t poop with her standing there!” she hissed. We were both quiet for a moment before she whimpered again and farted. I picked up the pacifier from the mattress and gently put it into her mouth before I reached down and resumed rubbing her stomach. “Let it out, honey, you’ll feel much better if you do.” I whispered softly. She sniffled and started to cry softly as the sounds of her diaper filling began to emanate from beneath her pajamas. “She’s gonna be so mad in the morning.” she whined. I kissed her forehead softly and rocked her as she continued going, “Shh, it’ll be okay, Pet.” I said, the name I’d given her and used the entire time I was Daddy rolling from my mouth without thought. We lay together until she was done and then she hugged me tightly, “I love you.” she said softly. “I love you too.” I said, letting her go so she could roll back over and snuggle back into me, the seat of her diaper pressing against the front of mine in a strangely arousing parody of our life as it had been as Daddy and baby, now two baby girls trying to figure out who they were in their own lives, happy in the knowledge that we weren’t alone in our journey’s. To Be Continued…

Chapter 22 Danny sat and watched his game. Ashley had come back in from the backyard changed and immediately went back into the kitchen with Mama Angela. They cooked and Danny was tortured by the smell of whatever they were roasting. Mama Angela would occasionally come back in and check on him. Give him praise or a kiss. One time she brought a bottle of water in for him. The smell of the food. Freshly prepare was making Danny extremely hungry. He learned to cook so he could take better control of his diet and had enjoyed cooking good healthy meals. Still, this smelled better than anything he had cooked. He realized that could be because he had not had a real meal today. He realized that would probably continue. He would still not be allowed normal food. He was still not willing to give up without trying. Mama Angela reentered the room. “Danny are you hungry,” she asked. “Very,” Danny replied. “Whatever you are cooking smells really good.” “Sorry Danny,” Mama Angela said. “Your little tummy is not quite ready for solid food because of the medicine but we have a really yummy food for you.” “I’m sure my stomach is fine,” Danny said. “Please can I have some.” “No,” Mama Angela said staying firm. “Please do not be difficult right now. I have a reward if you just deal with this. Hopefully, it is only for a little while longer and you can get off the medicine. “What is the reward?” Danny asked. “A surprise,” Mama Angela said with a grin. They both knew that if she kept it a secret then he would have to behave and find it out. Danny knew he had once again been outsmarted by his caregiver. He was not happy about that. He let her carry him into the kitchen, place him in the highchair and tie the bib around his neck. Danny was just going to go with the flow until he found saw what she intended to feed him. “Is that literal baby food?” Danny asked angerly. “No sweetie it is a little food blend,” Mama Angela said. “It made for littles who cannot digest solid food due to medical problems.” Mama Angela said lying. She knew it was baby food for littles either regressed or whose parents don’t want them eating solid food. Danny did not need to know that, however. “Isn’t there anything else I could eat?” Danny asked. “Danny I already prepared this for you,” Mama Angela cooed. “Three bite and I will make you something else if you do not like it. Plus, if you do then I can give you your reward.” “Fine,” Danny sighed. He was frustrated with having no power over the situation. Mama Angela looked over at her partner who was finishing the vegetables for their dinner. She knew Danny reluctance was not helping Ashley’s view of Danny. She just decided to focus on what she could control. “Open wide Danny here comes the train.” Danny opened and swallowed. He did not want to admit it, but it tasted okay. Not nearly as good as what he imagined the food, she was cooking for her and Ashley. He ate the whole bowl Mama Angela had prepared for him with no more fuss. “Such a good little eater,” Mama Angela praised as he finished the final bite. She was proud of herself for getting through all three meals today without any major meltdowns as far as she knew. Small victories she thought. “Are you ready for your surprise Danny?” Mama Angela asked. “Yes,” Danny said. He played her games he might as get the reward. Danny was not surprised when she pulled out a container of chocolate pudding. “Can I feed myself please.” Danny begged. “Here is the deal,” Mama Angela said. “I will feed you the first few spoons and then you can try to feed yourself but if you make too much of a mess then I will take the spoon back and finish.” “Deal,” Danny said. He could feed himself so this would be easy. Angela felt bad making all these promises and deals with him knowing most have been rigged in her favor. This deal was no exception. The baby spoon she was using was weighted and the weight moved inside the spoon. The weight was not enough to mess with an adult amazon but any little would have to move it super slowly or they would be guaranteed to make a mess. Danny complied easily with the first 4 spoons being fed to him before she put it down. Danny picked up the spoon and noticed something was off with it. He realized that asking for a different spoon would probably end up with him getting fed so he tried to scoop it himself. Unfortunately, the first scoop fell right back into the bowl. “Do you need help?” Mama Angela asked. “Can I have the spoon I used for breakfast,” Danny asked biting the bullet. If she wants to feed him, she will find a reason to. Nothing he could do or say to stop her. Angela did not know that Ashley had let him feed himself. She wished she had not because now Danny knew there was at least one spoon that he could feed himself with. “Sorry Danny,” she said. “It is in the dishwasher dirty. Besides one spoon is as good as any other.” “This spoon has something weird about it,” Danny replied. “Let me see,” Mama Angela said. She picked up the spoon scooped up a bite for Danny which he begrudgingly accepted. “Nothing feels wrong with it to me. Mommy Ashley, would you mind trying the spoon and see if there anything you notice?” “Whatever,” Ashley said. This whole thing confused Ashley. She had seen Danny feed himself without any struggle earlier in the day. Despite this to her it looked like a normal spoon. Something seemed off but she could not put her finger on it. She took the spoon and gave Danny a spoonful. She glared at Angela who had taken a picture of her feeding Danny on her phone. “I did not notice anything weird with the spoon.” Ashley said bluntly. “Well sweetie,” Mama Angela said. “Maybe it is a slightly different material we do not notice. But this time can I just feed you?” “Fine,” Danny said. It just was not worth the fight. Mama Angela fed him the rest of the pudding. She then pulled out a bottle out of the fridge. Then she picked him up from the highchair and placed him on her lap as she sat down. “Drink up Danny,” Mama Angela said as she put the bottle to his lips. While Danny was not happy about what had gone on, he complied with Mama Angela and began suckling on the bottle. After he drank it, she successfully burped him again. Danny stayed quiet but if looks could kill both his caregivers would be dead. The more irritated Danny got with the meal, The more worried Mama Angela became about taking Danny outside today. The number 1 thing she wanted to avoid is a bad first impression with the neighborhood. If the neighbors saw Danny as naughty little and her and Ashley didn’t do enough to correct it, then they might question their parenting abilities. If the neighbors’ thought Danny was an out of control little, they could call LPS and then they would have way more problems. She hoped that the neighbors would understand the situation but that cannot be counted on. On the other hand, if Danny has a bad experience, then it could result in him becoming afraid and closing himself off to others even more. She feared that more than anything the neighbors or LPS could do. She thought about not going on the walk tonight for a second before deciding against it. She already told both Danny and Ashley of her plan, she did not want either to think she did not have the situation in hand. Plus, the longer Danny isolates himself, the harder it will be for him to adjust to this. Better to introduce him earlier and get him adjusted earlier. Everything will be ok she told herself. She then carried Danny to the couch and put the tv on for him again. “Do not get used to this much TV Danny,” Mama Angela told him. “Once your healthy we will try to have you doing more actual activities and less watching a screen.” “Works for me,” Danny replied. “The TV at my apartment was more background noise then anything.” “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything,” Mama Angela said. Then she left to go eat dinner with her partner. Angela and Ashley were enjoying a nice dinner at their kitchen table. They did this so Danny did not see them eat while he was clearly craving solid food. Angela did not want him getting angry watching while they ate. The downside for Angela was that neither her nor Ashley could see Danny. She feared Danny doing something crazy despite Danny being more than content to sit on the couch for now. Ashley did not really care what Danny was doing so long as he was quiet. Angela was convinced Danny was so well behaved today despite all that went on in the kitchen and his trying to stand behind their backs today. Angela claimed that he behaved while she was out gardening but the look on Angela’s face told her something went wrong. Ashley kind of hoped Danny misbehaved while they had dinner, so they did not go for the walk Angela planned. This was just asking for trouble. There is no way Danny behaves outside. Ashley did have something bothering her. She decided to ask Angela about. “What was the whole thing with the spoon?” “It is a spoon made to be normal for adult amazons,” Mama Angela explained in a soft voice. “But has some weight to it that messes with littles hand eye coordination.” “What?” Ashley said shocked. “It helps a little develop a dependency on their parents,” Angela explained. “We need to get Danny to admit he needs us. It limits his ability to rebel or run away when he mentally realizes he needs us to help fulfil his basic needs.” Angela realized how wrong this sounded but it was in Danny’s best interest or at least that is what she told herself. “But why did you force me to get involved?” Ashley asked annoyed since Angela knew what was going on, she clearly did not need Ashley’s opinion. “Because Danny was suspicious of me,” Angela stated. “He knew I would mess with things to get to take care of him more. He also realizes right now you would not. You already let him feed himself so there is no reason for you to lie about the spoon. Plus, it was really cute picture. Did I make you feel uncomfortable with him again?” “I feel uncomfortable that I was used as a tool more than anything else,” Ashley said. “You used me to trick Danny. I’m used to you being honest with me.” “I’m sorry I was not thinking,” Angela said. How am I so focused on Danny that I am ignoring Ashley’s feelings. “It’s fine let’s just eat,” Ashley said. “Ok,” Angela said. “If you do not want to walk after dinner you do not have to.” “I’ll come with you,” Ashley said. She wanted to see the look on Angela’s face when she realized Ashley was right about Danny’s behavior. They both went back to eating. Also a question to the readers. My rough draft of the walk chapter is the length of two chapters. There is a point where I can reasonably break it up in to two normal size chapters. Would you rather have it split into two chapters and have two chapters next week or have it as one very long chapter?

Eight: Nursery “It smells like paint,” she said. “Is that the project? Are you repainting the store?” “Not all of it.” The back door closed behind him and he flipped on the lights of the stockroom. Harper immediately turned her attention to the changing table, pulled out from the nursery. “Ah,” she said. “Is that what this is? Renovations for the Baby Room?” “I needed a distraction,” he said. “Once I’m done, I’m sure the room will go just as unused as it is now.” “Let’s see,” she said, walking into the room and turning on the light. “Okay, well I like the paint color. What other changes were you looking to make?” “I bought a mirror for the inside of the door. Maybe I’ll upgrade the changing table - get one of those custom-built fellas? I’ll stock the shelf in here with wipes, powder, etc. Maybe hang a mobile? Get some stuffed animals? I’m winging it.” “I’m not picturing it,” she said, stroking her chin. “So, like, where would the changing table go, ideally?” “Over in that corner. Opposite of the one it was in before, I think.” “That makes sense,” she said. “Could we put it there now? I just want to picture what it would look like.” “Yeah, sure,” he said with a shrug. It was probably easy enough to move with just one person - he had gotten it out of the room by himself earlier - but it was even easier with two. They carried it into the room and placed it down. Harper stepped back and tilted her head, seeming to try and see what the finished project would look like. “Yeah, okay. I’m seeing it now. With that wall color? And the changing table here? I think that makes more sense.” “Alright, good,” he said, letting out a sigh of relief. She had always been the better decorator and her approval carried a lot of weight. “Actually,” she said, “maybe the placement of the changing table isn’t perfect.” “No?” “I don’t know. It’s hard to say without seeing a person on the table. Like, I feel like having a body on the table is going to change the aesthetics a little. That’s an important thing to consider.” “So, would it help if I, like, laid down on top of it?” “Oh, for sure. That would help a lot, actually.” He did so, climbing atop the converted bench, lying down on his back. It reminded him of a few days earlier, during the night spent at the shop. But with her here, it reminded him of days long past. “Does that help?” he asked. She laughed, and he laughed in response. “No, not really.” “No? Why not?” “I mean, I just see a fully dressed man laying on a table in what I’m supposed to imagine is a nursery of some sort. It’s not working for me.” “Okay, so what would help?” “If I’m supposed to imagine a baby laying on this table, then I think I need to see a baby.” “Interesting,” said Layne. “Should I go...find one?” “No, no,” she replied. “Not at this hour of the night, anyways. We’ll have to do with what we have.” “So…” “So, take off your pants, big boy. We need to make sure this room is going to look alright with a baby in it.” This suggestion itself was a surprise to neither - both knew where this was going when Layne had first suggested that they take a drive. The surprise was just how into it both were. Both had suspected the other would be hesitant or wary of actually going through with this. He unfastened his pants and pushed them down his legs, boxer briefs included. She stood near the other end of the table, catching the crumpled mass of cloth and helping lead them down the remainder of his legs. Just like old times. Just like riding a bike. Just like taking the pants off of your husband so you could put him in a diaper. It had been a while since she had last seen his cock. If it hadn’t been two years, it had to have been incredibly close. It hung to the side, semi-inflated - as if waiting for the go-ahead to fully stand at attention. She didn’t give that permission. Not yet. “Choice of diaper?” she asked. “There’s an open pack of Carnivals in the stock room,” he said. “Or, whatever, lady’s choice.” “I’ll take a look around. Be right back - don’t go anywhere.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.” True to her word, she wasn’t gone all that long. She rummaged around the shelves quickly before tearing open a plastic package, drawing a single diaper from it. “The Peach Bottoms,” he said, seeing the peach-colored diaper in her hand as she returned to the nursery. Undersellers, though a style he had always been a fan of himself. “Legs up,” she said. She probably didn’t even have to say anything, his legs were already in motion as the words came from her mouth. She slid the diaper under him, and he automatically knew when to lower himself atop it. She pulled it through his legs, taping the sides and sealing him into it. She even gave him a playful pat on the padded bottom before stepping back. “Okay,” he said. “How about now? Does this help you picture the finished Nursery better?” “Hmm,” she mused, stroking her chin. “We’re getting closer. I think you need to look...smaller. More babyish.” “More? Any suggestions?” “You’ll need to lose the shirt, for starters.” She unbuttoned his shirt before helping him to wiggle his way from it and the black tee underneath. They were added to the pile with his pants on the ground. Then, catching a spot she missed before, she pulled his socks from off of his feet. “Now we’re talking,” she said. “Baby Puddles, in just his little diaper.” That name was another blast from the past. Up until now this had been cute. A fun diversion from the soul-crushing despair of the future. But the deeper into this game they had gotten, the more he could feel itches getting scratched that hadn’t been for some time. More than that - it was getting reacquainted with an old friend he had seen in years. One of those old friends he thought it would be super-awkward to try and converse with all these years later. Yet, within seconds, they were carrying on as if no time had passed. Hello, Baby Puddles. I’ve missed you. “Is somebody feeling very little?” cooed Harper, looking down at him as he stretched out in the changing table - her words broken down into musical syllables. Her fingers playfully danced up his chest. “I can tell.” He wanted, badly, to say something snarky or sarcastic. Something very Layne. But there was nothing that could be said that wouldn’t ruin this moment, and he wanted this moment to last for as long as possible. “I know a thing or two about this little baby boy,” she said softly. “I know the things he likes. Well, I knew what he used to like. But I bet that he still has the same, uh, tastes now. Is that right?” He nodded immediately, not even certain that he knew what she was referring to. But as she began to pull off her top, his eyes lit up with comprehension. His mouth watered. She didn’t remove her bra, she had just pulled her left breast from it, letting it hang openly before her. “Yes?” she asked, watching his face grow more and more excited. “Would you like this? Do you want to be fed, little one?” He stopped just short of thrusting his head up to bite at her chest like he was some sort of diapered piranha. There had been a lot of things that he missed about ‘the good old days,’ but most of those things could be reproduced in some way by himself - wearing diapers, crawling around, etc. But this was an experience he truly believed he’d just never get to have again. She lowered her chest down to his face slowly, until he could just barely reach it when he strained his neck. It didn’t stop him - he would’ve turned his head round 180 degrees if it meant he could taste her nipple again. That perfect teardrop shape with the flesh button on the end, how he missed it. His lips enveloped it, suckling on it loudly. They both moaned. Her hand reached between his legs, grasping the firming lump in the front of the diaper. Permission granted. He was hard as a rock and throbbing in her hand as she stroked him through the bulky padding. “Does the little baby like this?” He unleashed a groan that could only be described as positive-sounding. “Do you remember when we used to do this all the time?” He nodded. “Come,” she said. “Sit with me.” She stood up, pulling her breast from his mouth. His lips made a final weak attempt to reach up and grasp her nipple, but it was already too far away. She left her shirt off, and left the nursery, unfastening her bra and letting it fall to the ground as she did. He quickly sat up on the table, swinging his legs off the side before sliding off to follow. But he didn’t walk to her. He could’ve - and she certainly hadn’t asked him to do anything else - but he could remember the way that this used to go. When she summoned her baby, her baby crawled. And so he crawled from the nursery, across the stockroom, and to where Harper had taken a seat along the far wall. Her legs were splayed open, a welcome invitation to return to a figurative-womb. He spun himself around, sitting between her legs with his back to her, letting her wrap her arms around him and pull him in close. There was a momentary thought about how often Effie swept the floor like he had once asked her too, but that faded away quickly, making more room for Baby Layne to be present. “Isn’t this nice?” she asked. He offered some sort of content moan. “I missed this.” Her hands slowly slid down his bare chest and stomach - a few extra pounds of soft baby fat since the last time she had probably done something like this - until they had reached his diaper. She gently squeezed at it, feeling the padding squish beneath her fingers. There was something about diapers - the psychological expectation of diapers - that had embedded itself in his psyche just as much as potty training had. While outside of diapers, he had all the control he could ever need. In diapers, his body knew what the end result was going to be and it was well-trained to make it happen. So he wet himself while her hands were on his diaper. “Oh gosh, Baby Puddles. Are you actually…” Another affirmative moan. “It’s so warm,” she said softly into his ear. “Keep going. Really fill that diaper and live up to your name.” It was out of his control now, but she was going to get exactly what she wanted. “Do you remember Lake George?” she asked. She didn’t wait for a response. “We thought we were the only ones at the campsite for days. We could go anywhere and do anything we wanted, and there didn’t seem to be a soul there to see it.” He nodded. “And there was that rec center there, with the pool table and the arcade games and the jukebox. And you played that Stone Temple Pilots song like 18 times in a row.” “Plush,” he said with a laugh, further melting into her hands as she rubbed his diaper. “I dared you to take your pants off and keep them off, right? For the rest of the week. Just you and your diaper. And you did it. Because you were such a good baby. And you waddled around in your sagging diaper? Mommy had to keep changing you because you couldn’t keep a diaper dry for more than an hour at a time.” There was a lot more that she could probably have said, but he knew the stories just as well. In the silence that followed, he was transported back to that final full day of camping. Three or four days of almost exclusively using diapers in the woods had finally become second nature and little thought had been given about concealing it. They had returned to the rec center for a last game, or five, of pool. He hadn’t just emptied his bowels into his diaper - he had been rather belligerent about it too, making an entire production out of bending over and loudly filling his pants. All fun and games, of course, until he learned - moments too late - that another couple had finally shown up to the campground and had thought to stop in the rec center at that exact moment. He thought of this as a very good memory. “You can still be my baby,” she said at last. He considered these words carefully, as their meaning wasn’t immediately discernible. He could interpret them as meaning that she had stopped wanting him to be her baby, and that she had since changed her mind and decided to allow for it again. Or, he could still be her baby - after whatever came next. That was it, he realized. Finality. An end loomed in the distance, and they were now talking about after. “Will you have other babies?” he asked. “Oh, maybe. If they want to be.” “Syd?” “Hmm, yes. I think so,” she said. “Really?” “I think they’re curious. Maybe it’s just because they think it would please me if they tried - and they’re right. But I wouldn’t doubt their own curiosity.” “Take some diapers home,” he said. “No, I don’t think so.” “No?” “Well, I mean, that was my original thought too. But maybe we get that nursery finished and I bring them here?” He laughed. “Yes, please. Let’s bring some purpose to that closet before Effie convinces me to make it a break room.” “What about you?” she asked. “No special ladies on the horizon that you want to change your diaper?” “I’ve got a little project I’m working on,” he said. “Though I don’t think she’ll be the Mommy type.” “No?” He shrugged. “We’ll see. But...if you and I can stay on good terms, maybe I can get your help?” She laughed at this, not even able to imagine what he had in mind. “When you need me, let me know. For now? What if we do something about this diaper?” “No,” he said. “It can hold more.” “So we’re going to sit here all night and wait until you think it’s full enough to change?” He shrugged. “What about this?” she said. “I’ll help you finish painting the Nursery. Then? You get a diaper change. And then we go home.” “Seems fair.” “So until we’re done painting,” she said, “do your worst.” She gave his diaper another squeeze, this time catching the tip of his firm shaft within. “Oh. I almost forgot about this.” “It’s not really your responsibility. I mean...you certainly don’t owe me any…” “Always such a chatty little boy,” she taunted. She reached around him with her left hand, pressing a thumb against his lips until he opened his mouth and let in. Her right hand slipped into the front of his diaper, grasping his shaft before gently stroking it. “Yow thon’t haff tah…” “When a thumb is in your mouth, Baby, you just suck on it. It means no more talking. Just let Mommy take care of you.” And when he finally came in his diaper, that was when they finished painting the nursery. He was absolutely sure that he’d never walk into that room again without thinking about this night.

Oh, Taxes!???? I thought it said "Texas" I was like, "Mikey your topic makes no sense." LOL!????????

I really want to continue this but I want to finish my current story. I'm glad you enjoy it. I cannot wait to do some revision to this and continue the eternal struggle for Alice!

Can I just say, the author indicated 6 months ago that there were conflicting priorities, one most likely involving them getting paid (which this story does not), and it's really frustrating to see this story get bumped by someone other than the author, because I'd love nothing more than the author to update us on the situation, and every time someone bumps it, I have to assume that they just beat me to first reply on an author update, only to be disappointed by the fact that it is nothing more than someone yelling "M0aR pL0x!"

@~Brian~ haha, I have heard its hard to stay mad at me. Probably why I am so spoiled, even though I can be a brat lol. People just like doing things for me, I dunno why. Luckily I married someone that finds my crying and pouting hard to resist hehehe ?