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    • I spend around 140 a month, it varies but typically 5 Depends tape on diapers and when I need more capacity I will use Megamax but I prefer thinner diapers and changing more often is not much of a problem. More average time in a dry diaper then a half wet one for most of the day. I do use the occasional kid's diapers as stuffers if I am not able to change as often as I like. I rarely flood so I get more time out of a cheap diaper. Cloth diapers still need to be washed and dried and that costs money that most people don't calculate into the cost.
    • I wear full-time because, among other things, I no longer have wetting control (although I used to). Of the times I remember it happening, I don't know that I'd say any of the specific places that it happened were interesting. There were potentially interesting circumstances that recurred in multiple places. One thing is that I used to do more public speaking. The reason I don't isn't terribly diaper-related; it's that I have more fatigue, and more trouble staying on my feet, and having since transitioned gender and hit my 30s I don't have the "nice young man" cachet that got people to ask me to speak publicly in the first place. But I used to do more. The thing about public speaking is that tension that activates my sympathetic nervous system, like stage fright, speeds up all my voiding processes. Always has, even when I was continent. I don't know if this is normal, but I'm 100% convinced that my body produces pee faster, digests faster, and feels the urge more intensely and acutely. Obviously as my control started to diminish this started to matter more. The end result is that during the period when I was going from controlled to partially controlled to uncontrolled, wettings under duress and then wetting accidents started to happen more often. When I say "wetting under duress" I mean "I was in circumstances which were the last circumstances I wanted to pee in, but it was that or visibly look like I was trying not to pee, which would have been even worse".
    • I migrated from Xbox to PC, so for me it's keyboard and mouse + Xbox-style gamepad. I'd like to get a HOTAS or HOSAS setup at some point, but it won't be any time soon.
    • Chapter 9 After lunch when it was time for our nap, Alexi’s had embraced the idea of me supporting Ally by wearing diapers a little bit too inconspicuous. Or maybe that’s just how I saw it now when I knew it all, about how she wanted me to wear them, how weird as it had first sounded when Ally told me. I mean diapers. Why was Alexis so compelled to the idea to make us wear them? That thought had filled my mind as we were riding our bikes through the head-wind back from the park.   Before we came back to the house, I had come up with three different conclusions. The first one was that Alexis liked to be in control, and by making us somewhat resembling helpless babies made her fulfill that. Another assumption was that maybe she wanted to be a mother and have a baby to take care of. I used to like to play with those kinds of dolls when I was little. Some of them came with diapers too and they could wet them too if you let them drink. I always thought that was funny. Maybe Alexis still liked to play like that and wanted us to be her living dolls. It could also be simply what Ally had said, that Alexis just had a weird obsession with diapers.   I still couldn’t really understand why, but whatever the reason was, it was time to make her stop letting it out on her sister. It was ok to punish Ally for shoplifting but it wasn’t fair to let it go on forever for her own pleasure. Ally had learned her lesson now and it wasn’t OK to blackmail her like this. What was worse was that if Ally was telling the truth, Alexis was planning on getting me in diapers too. If I was right in my third conclusion, Alexis could go wear a stupid diaper herself.   We were getting our diapers on in Alexi’s room. Since Ally had leaked through her last one because she put it on herself, Alexis said she had to get them on for us. Ally was put in one first. When it was done, she got up from the floor, pulled on her pants, walked over to me and gave me a smirk.   “Are you still sure about this?” Alexis asked, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” She was sitting on her knees, hands in her lap with the package of diapers along with a bottle of baby powder next to her.   “If it makes Ally feel better, I will.” I said. I had realized that I hadn’t that much of a choice than to let her put me in one, because if Ally was telling the truth, Alexis would use the hypnotic track again, so I did in fact need one if the couch or wherever I was napping on was going to stay dry. Well, I could of course refuse to wear them all week, and don’t care about waking up wet, because according to Ally the key point in Alexi’s plan was for me to ask her to wear them. I couldn’t call Alexis out on it yet, because I had only wet the bed twice, and it could be blamed on a coincidence and not that Alexis had made me do it. Ally and I didn’t know where she kept those tracks either.   Another reason I couldn’t back out from it was because Ally. What would she say if I didn’t want to help her? Maybe I hadn’t really thought it through I mean, Ally was good at fabricating all kinds of stories, and still I had accepted her plan with pretty much no hesitation because she said we were going to be best friends if I did. And if I didn’t, maybe we wouldn’t even stay regular friends.   Alexis picked up a diaper from the package, telling me how mature I was for supporting Ally like this and I couldn’t help to feel a little bad for not being honest to her to why I was doing it. Well, she was right in a way though, I was helping Ally. I still had a hard time grasping the fact that Alexis was actually evil and putting her in a bad spot made me feel, although unjustifiably, guilty for some reason. To me, Alexis had always been genuinely nice and someone I had looked up to. I had been pretty jealous of Ally to have a sister like her, but if Ally was telling me the truth, her sister did want me in diapers and that was indeed mean.   “Come here then.” Alexis patted on a double blanket that she had put on the floor to make it more comfortable, and began to unfold the diaper. “And take of your pants.” Somehow, I was nervous about the whole thing. My palms were sweating and kept wetting my lips. I couldn’t remember the last time I was put in a diaper or how it felt like wearing one. I pulled down my ice cream stained jeans and began to feel shy, but I had to ignore it and go on to pull my panties off too before lying down on the blanket.   Alexis lifted up my legs slightly, put the diaper under me and then got it on quickly and professional; I didn’t even sit up at for a while, thinking it couldn’t have been over so soon.   “There we go.” Alexis said, and began gathering the supplies.   The new thing I wore made it harder to move my legs together and it felt different to wear something so much thicker than regular underwear. It would definitely take some time getting used to, but I wouldn’t have to wear them for that long anyway. Every night and naptime for the rest of the week and that was it.   I began to wonder how Alexis was going to react when we stated the blackmail to her. How embarrassed she would feel over two nine year olds having out-smarted her. The thought made me smirk.   I sat up to and reached for my jeans, but Alexis grabbed them first. “I think these need to be washed.” she said and picked them up from the floor. “Alright, I guess you’re all set for your nap. And ehrm… I’m going to make you sleep in different rooms. Else you’ll just stay up talking and forget to rest.”   Ally threw a glance at me and I knew that she knew that Alexis wanted to separate us to use the hypnotic tapes on me. For our plan to work we weren’t going to object it though. It seemed a bit strange that those tracks actually worked. I had heard that even the classic hand in water trick didn’t actually work, so it probably took a lot to make someone wet the bed.   “Do you want take yours on the couch again, Amber?” Alexis asked.   “Okay.” I shrugged.   I was wearing a diaper, had stained my clothes, and was now going to take a nap. Only thing missing was a pacifier and a pony-tail and everything was going to be like it was when I was little again, at least according to the photos of me from that time. Even if I didn’t have any clear memories of those years, I felt like a little toddler again. Maybe it could be fun to play pretend like that sometime. But I was unsure how Ally would feel about it.   The three of us left Alexi’s room and Ally went to hers. I was going to follow her and grab a new pair of pants when Alexi’s grabbed my arm. “You can’t sleep in the same room, remember?”   “I know. I was just getting some new pants.”   “Any other than your pajama pants will feel tight over that thing, and your pajama pants are still being washed. She moved her hand to my shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid someone will see you. There is no one but us here.”   “She can borrow one of mine.” Ally came with a pair of hers. I thought I could make out an unsatisfactorily look in Alexis face, and a grin in Ally’s, and I thanked her for helping me out. I put them on and then I went downstairs and sat down in the couch.   Alexis followed with a pillow and gave it to me. “Do you want to sleep listening to the relaxation track again?”   Going on with Ally’s plan I said: “Sure.” I was going to pay attention to it this time to figure out what was making me wet the bed. Alexis drew the curtains over the windows before putting the disc in the player.   “Can you get Magnolia? I think she’s still in the guest room.” I said.   “Who’s Magnolia?”   “My bunny.” I said. Mommy had helped me name her when I was little. Magnolia shared the color with the flowers of the three she was named after; she was mostly white but also had pink ears and cheeks.   Alexis went up and came back with her along with a glass of water that she placed on the living room table. I took Magnolia and held her close. I let my head rest on the pillow and tried to make myself as comfortable as I could in the couch while wearing my new thicker undergarment. I shifted over and over, the diaper crinkling as I did.   Alexis turned on the music player.   “Have a good nap.” she said, messing up my hair before she left.   The track started playing. It was a bit scary to know that it would make you do something unconsciously. I still wondered how it did it. Maybe the track made you sleep so hard you didn’t wake up to go to the bathroom. But how could it make you do that? There were certainly something peculiar in the background that I couldn’t really point my finger on.   As I was lying there, trying to figure it out, my eyes felt heavier and heavier, my breathing slower and slower. I could resist it and not fall asleep, but if I relaxed just slightly, I got struck in the trance again. It didn’t matter, I told myself. Just go on with Ally’s plan. And then before I knew it, I was asleep.   *** ( – _-)^zzz *** Thirsty, was the first my mind told me when I woke up again. I fumbled for the glass of water on the table and drank. When I put it back, I shook my head to wake myself up a bit more. Gotta pee, my bladder complained, and I instinctively crossed my legs but it was more difficult than usual, oh right, I was wearing a diaper.   I didn’t know how a diaper was supposed to feel when wet. The one I was wearing now didn’t feel that much different from when I had got it on, it only sat somewhat less tight, so I guessed it was still dry. The hypnotic track hadn’t worked after all. Perhaps they just didn’t work all the time. I really had to pee though, so I had to take it off and use the bathroom soon if I wanted to keep it that way. Or did I? According to Ally’s plan I should have woken up in a wet diaper now.   So, what should I do next? Was it really that important to actually use the diapers, or was it enough to just say that Alexis made me wear them? I wasn’t sure so a trip to the plan deviser herself was necessary   I didn’t know how long I had been napping, but it always felt longer than it actually was. Hopefully, it was long enough to satisfy Alexis so that I could be able to wake up her sister if she hadn’t woken up from her nap yet. So, I had to look for the babysitter first, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I called for her twice without response. Then I heard the shower running upstairs. Aha.   I sat down on a step of the stairs and waited but not soon later, according to the status of my bladder, I wasn’t sure if I could hold it much longer. Eventually since the shower didn’t stop running, I didn’t have any other choices than to go to Ally’s room without asking if it was ok, take my diaper off and go to the bathroom downstairs, or use it. Since I wished I didn’t have to pee in it, I made up my mind quick and decided to go to the bathroom.   My bladder ached and my legs were almost shaking as I taped the diaper off in the bathroom downstairs. It wouldn’t have been much longer and I would have actually needed it. I let it drop down on the floor before sitting down on the toilet to relieve myself. Before going out I put it in the bin.   When I left the bathroom, I didn’t hear the shower running anymore so I went up to ask Alexis if the nap was over. Upstairs, the door to Ally’s room was open and Alexis had gone in there to wake her sister up so apparently it was.   “Hi Amber.” Alexis turned around as I came in. Ally sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes, freshly awake.   “Hi.” I said.   “Had a good nap?” Alexis asked.   “It was refreshing.” I said. It was actually. “Good. Uhm…” she looked down at my pajama pants. “You’re not wearing your diaper anymore.”   “No, I was only going to wear it while sleeping, like Ally does.”   “I know, but where did you put it?”   “In the bin, in the bathroom downstairs.” I said.   “Alright.” Alexis walked over to me “Can I ask something?” she bent down.   “Okay.”   “Was it dry?” she whispered.   “Yes.”   “That’s great. I’m just checking because if there are wet diapers in the small bathroom downstairs it starts smelling in there.”   “Okay.” I said. Alexis smiled and messed up my hair before leaving the room.   “Are you stupid!?” Ally got up from bed, rushing over to me.   “What?”   “You’re messing up the plan!”   “What do you mean?” I knew what she meant. I had to use the diapers too after all. “I didn’t think I had to pee in it.”   “The blackmail will be too weak if you don’t. Your parents won’t freak out enough if she only made you wear them without the wetting part, “Ally said and then shook her head.   “I’m sorry.” I said, looking down. She was probably right, but did it matter if I skipped once? “I’ll do it next time.”   Ally sighed. “Okay, well, I have an idea on how to make up for it.”
    • Hmm, It is interesting, I actually think the opposite. I like that it feels like he IS a baby, just somehow intrinsically meant for this, and this alone, whereas if it happened to Kate, especially now, it would feel more like something happening TO him. As opposed to who he is. Because that has more emotion and embarrassment and (in his eyes) shame to it.  Having to do something because the law says so is one thing, doing it because that’s just the obvious way to do it is another.  I don’t think they’re going through the motions now, they’re just taking care of the baby.And that’s so much harder to wrap your mind around if you are him. I think he has thought of it as something happening TO him up to now, and that it could happen TO anyone. I think Kate was worried that could be true, but the fact that she isn’t a Little reinforces that, maybe that’s not true. If they got her designation so right, maybe his really is right after all. He just must be a baby after all. I don’t think the main aspect is Kate, that’s just like the final nail in the coffin, his final hope that it is the designation doing this as opposed to the designation highlighting something that might always have been true about him deep down. I think the real story is him figuring all of that out. 
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