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  • Posts

    • Thanks for holding our Trophy 🏆  I’ll take that back! Team Elf for the Win !
    • Gee!  You won't have to buy any more diapers for, like, 3 weeks!  LOL!
    • Hi everyone, I am a (very) long time lurker around the topic of inducing incontinence.. I have been 24/7 for few years, experimented with hypnosis, herbs, timed voiding, etc.. As for the most of us, nothing really worked for me, and I eventually kind of gave up on investing so much evergy into basically damaging my body. However, over the years, incontinence started happening to me on its own. It most likely was due to heavy stress I had in life, and perhaps because I took a lot of St John's Wort extract too. But it usually is not that bad - most of the time I only dribble a little bit during the day, and about once per week I wake up in wet diaper without remembering peeing. On longer trips I prefer to have a pullup on, but usually I don't even need it (but I had a few accidents before, so it's better to be prepared..). I know that this is already fullfilled dream of many, and it would be just enough for me too, perhaps. However, since 2021, I sadly started suffering from terrible chronic pain in my left testicle, and I underwent many examinations because of it. And as a part of this whole process I had to disclose me having issues with urinary urgency and wearing diapers. So I also had to go to urodynamic study and cystoscopy. It was all a bit embarassing, but actually it was a small "win" for me since I was diagnosed with incontinence and got prescription for diapers. Well, of course this is all ignoring the trials with few medications that had quite terrible side effects 😕 Overall, it took years to uncover at least some insight about what might be causing my persistent pain. And the latest diagnosis is that I have pudendal neuralgia on left side. When I first learned about the condition, it was hard for me to believe that it could be me. However, I must admit that I have most of the symptoms listed. And not only that - my whole life I couldn't sit still. And it wasn't due to some psychological distress - it was simply because it did not feel comfortable to me to sit for a long time. To this day, I prefer to kneel on the chair or cross my legs on a chair. But most importantly, I need to change posture often, otherwise I get stiff or even feel pain. When I learned that pudendal nerve is located at the backside, just where we sit, and that it can be irritated by long sitting, I was stunned. I was perhaps even more stunned when I learned that this nerve controls bladder and anal sphincter, and it also plays significant role during orgasm. Anyone seeing the correlation with whole ABDL thing yet? Yes.. well, there seems to be one concrete physical nerve in the body responsible for this all. To confirm the diagnosis of pudendal neuralgia, I was sent for a pudendal nerve block. I will not describe the procedure in depth, but in short, they put a needle in my butt with CT guidance to get into the pudendal canal, and injected local anesthetic mixed with steroid there. It was not too painful, definitely better than dentist visit for me. Already during the injection, I could feel almost magical relief from that persistent pain. About 30 minutes after the procedure, I went back home. At that time, I was already completely numb on the left side of my butt, abdomen, penis, and also left testicle was not in pain anymore - even though some pain was sadly still present when I touched the bottom of testicle. Still, it was a great result, and I only felt a little light-headed. It was overall way better than medications I tried before for this pain. Of course I was expecting (or maybe wished) some crazy things to happen with my bladder sphincter, and was wearing a thicker pullup. But not much have happened. I think I only leaked few drops on my way home. At home, I inspected my private parts a bit more. I was a little concerned about how much numb my left side of penis was.. It felt completely dead! However, this was to be expected, and it was the effect of the anesthetic, from what I read. And this deep numbness in penis disappeared about 5 hours later, so it was indeed just temporary. During that whole day I only needed to pee once if I remember correctly, and also my stream was very weak. Actually, it was difficult to start peeing at all! It felt strange, since I didn't even need to pee before going to bed. It was both peaceful and concerning - I was not sure if my bladder wouldn't burst at some point.. 😕 The next day in the morning, I could feel my penis and other parts just fine, however, are near my anus to the left was somewhat numb to touch - it just did not register touch as clearly as the same area to the right. Overall, my private parts felt very relaxed. So much that getting erection was difficult. I could still masturbate and ejaculate, but orgasm felt somewhat muted. I am not sure if it felt worse than "normal" orgasm. It just felt like if I was suddenly disabled. It simply was strange. Also, I still didn't need to pee in the morning if I recall correctly. It only hit me around lunchtime, and boy.. it hit me hard! I had very strong and sudden urge to pee, but when I reached the toilet, I still couldn't pee at all! It was a bit frustrating. Not that this would be the first time it happened to me, but it just worried me a little. I then had many more urges that day - usually every 20 minutes, sometimes I could pee, sometimes not, and sometimes I leaked in my pullup without being able to hold it. Oh, I almost forgot - after the nerve block, I could not feel my pelvic floor muscles on left side at all! You know that feeling you have when you try to hold pee? That feeling which raises your penis a little? I was just completely gone! As if those muscles were not part of my body anymore. So if my bladder decided to let go, I could not stop the flow at all! This was amazing feeling for me xD The nerve block also affected my bowel as expected.. Just for context: I probably have some kind of chronic constipation, and I need to eat way more vegetables and fruits than others if I want to avoid painful bowel movements. Despite that, I almost always feel some low level pain on left side during BMs. Back to the nerve block now.. It again felt strange, since I had no feeling of needing number 2 in the morning or for the rest of the day. On the 2nd day, however, I also felt sudden urge. And as I could not reliably feel my anus, I rushed to toilet. I was then amazed how easily it all came out of me. And I felt no pain at all! I was, however, left with a feeling of incomplete voiding. Now for the more concerning part... I was very tired after the procedure for about a week, and still pretty tired a month later. Also, my bladder sphincter did not hold - I was always leaking a little bit. And even today, 5 months later, I still have some stress leakage. Also my left foot was tingling and a bit painful, same as left part of my penis. It was strange low level pain. Overall, the negative side effects were only bothering me for about a week, and I am not even sure if the stress leakage was caused by the block, since I already had some issues with continence before. On the positive side, the nerve block almost completely cured my pain - I had no pain in left testicle, no pain in left abdomen, and no pain during BM. Only the bottom of my left testicle was still painful when touched. But I could live with that. This pain relief lasted for about a month, which was truly amazing! Needless to say, I think the diagnosis of pudendal neuralgia is pretty accurate, since the nerve block was very successful in my case. Sadly, there seems to be no actual cure, and it is a chronic condition, which can be treated in several ways. I have already tried pregabalin, but the side effects were so bad even after just one pill, that this is an absolute no-go for me.. I was reading that this drug is often abused, and I really questioned how anyone could like to feel like literal zombie. I would say I am immune to pregabalin addiction.. There are other tratments, however. My neurologist mentioned that there is a possibility of "long lasting" nerve blocks if I wished to do so. She is not so familiar with this condition, and probably meant pulsed radio frequency ablation of the nerve.. From what I read, this should have same effect as the pudendal nerve block, but it should last around 6 months. Yes: SIX MONTHS. And here is where my worries and dilemma begins. On one hand, 6 months of pain free life would truly be amazing, and also getting some incontinence adventure on top of that could be fun. But it worries me since I don't know how strong the effects would be - would my penis be just "relaxed" or completely numb as it was for 5 hours after the nerve block? Would I only be more incontinent than now or would it get really bad - that means having to cath myself and deal with UTIs? Would I start messing myself too? (that would be scary) And what about the tingles and pain in left foot and left side of penis I had? What if there was some damage done to those parts? But perhaps my worst fear is: What it the pain GOT MUCH WORSE?! This could basically end my life to be honest. If the pain got significantly worse, then considering how terrible the side effects of pregabalin were to me, I would not be able to do most jobs. It all scares me, especially since I feel like if I just wrote my neurologist now and said that I would like her to refer me for further treatment, she would just do it. Just to shed some light of sanity into this, I currently have a spermatic cord denervation surgery scheduled for January 2027, and it hopefully should stop the pain in my left testicle. Of course I am hoping that this will work, but at same time I feel a bit sad of "missing out" on the opportunity to make myself (more) incontinent for free.. Again, just for context: The surgery also has risks. Most importantly, it could lead to infertility, and also could damage the left testicle. Also, it is just not targetting the illness fully. The andrologist advised me to actually not do the surgery and to treat the pudendal nerve instead. I am only going for the surgery since I insisted - we also tried spermatic cord nerve block, and that one also eliminated pain pretty well, but had no side effects. So by my judgement, the surgery is safer option. However, still, the surgery is irreversible - that means, the nerves will be completely severed forever. So if the surgery fails for some reason, it will be tough luck. Meanwhile, if the radiofrequency ablation went wrong, I could in theory just endure 6 months of hell and then be back to normal. So this is my dilemma.. Should I go for further treatment of pudendal neuralgia, which would cure my pain, make me incontinent, but could potentially destroy mu life (well, at least temporarily, anyway), or should I go for a surgery that promises to cure my pain forever, but it could damage my testicle, fertility, and most importrantly - it does not target my illness, and I was advised to not do the surgery? What would you do at my place? And of course, I will not take this as medical advise. If it makes you camler, I have consulted ChatGPT about this topic like 50 times already, and I included all my MRI scans to find some concrete answers. But 5 months later I am still not decided what is best for me. Simply said, both ways of treatment seem to be promising enough to consider them. I am only asking here, because I would like to hear opinions from fellow ABDL minded folks. Thank you!  
    • Oh that dead mouse/rat smell, I know it well sadly
    • What did the lepper say to the prostitute after having had sex?  "Keep the tip".
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