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Story and Art Forum

Story and Art Forum


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  1. Critiques and Writer's Discussion

    For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.

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  2. Completed Stories

    Area for Finished Stories. Message Elfy to have your story moved here.

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  3. Art

    For Pictures, Comics and Anything Else Artistic.

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  5. AI Stories

    For any story that uses AI in any significant fashion. See rules inside if you have used AI to decide if your story belongs here.

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  1. Criticism and Stories

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  • Posts

    • “I used to babysit I know how!” She whined  Than she realized soon she will be like the baby’s she babysat for.   She was ready to throw a tantrum but her step mommy turned on her rabbit and the soft music played.   “I’m not a baby I can walk.” She said softly more trying to convince herself.    
    • “Pwese mommy wo wore Pwese wo wome!” She cried hating how she actually had to think of each word to say in a babyish word!  It was like she was learning a new vocabulary!  A BABY vocabulary.   Kayla didn’t protest as she was washed and dutifully did as she was told.   The adult woman was afraid of getting another spanking!  This is crazy I’m not a little girl I’m a grown woman.   She watched as the suds popped kinda like her adulthood just popping.   Kayla wondered if Paulina even understood what she said.  Just go home!  She screamed in her great maybe mentally screaming at her will get her to go home!  Kayla knew she was doomed when the stupid girl bopped her nose!     
    • I only have two criticisms about this chapter, other than that it’s a good chapter. My first one is the story Dian told. Is it not illegal to take Littles from other Amazons? The Little could have been legally the other Amazons and Dian would not have had any way of knowing otherwise, as her statement saying that the Little gave her all the information. So basically she’s saying a baby told her to do it and so she not only obeyed a baby and kidnapped her, she just handed her off to a strange woman at a mall after getting through a police roadblock? Also the woman that saw her at the roadblock could be able to at least say that the baby in the pram looks like the one at the roadblock.    I’m not sure what this is about?      I feel sad for the actual child. She’s been forced to walk through the mall wearing an obvious diaper that she doesn’t need, that her mother either didn’t bother taking off her to help the disguise or had forgotten she was wearing a diaper. I have a feeling that foster woman would be just making her use her diaper because she’s not paid to potty train anyone. I wonder how long that drug in the pacifier lasts? It might be out of her system by the following day.    Ivy better make her move. I’m surprised she didn’t just go get Heather since she’s the one that reported her missing and was cleared of being a trafficker. I don’t know why the officer thought it was weird, as far as the report went, she’s the baby’s caregiver. That part made zero sense to me. 
    • Thanks for the update I was getting worried. This is great chapter and I would like to see more
    • Are you still working on it? 
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