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I'm wondering if anyone is actually reading this, or interested in updates? It's still fun to write it, but I guess I don't know if this is the kind of story people here want to read or not. I know the chapters can be a bit short, and I don't think I've got the pacing right. But this is the first story I've put effort into writing and planning. This chapter is shorter than I'd originally intended, because I thought it would be cool to end it on a bit of a cliffhanger. 8: Confusion Theo It didn’t feel as much of a victory as it should have. I’d wanted to stop needing to be involved with Max. Instead, I was going to be spending extra time with him, he now knew I was wearing a pull-up, and he knew I’d wet the bed. And for all of that, I’d got the right to fill in my own toileting log. And stupidly, I’d said that Max should do the same. I’d wanted to embarrass him, but this just seemed spiteful. We left the principal’s office. It felt awkward to walk; my legs weren’t moving the way I’d expect them to. There was a certain bulky presence in the way that made it tricky. I was praying that no-one would notice. I didn’t really have clothes that would accommodate the extra padding well. I like to wear tight-fitting, smart clothes. Button-up tops, chinos, suit pants. It meant that when I’d first come to the school, I’d been mistaken for a student teacher. Something that Nate still wouldn’t let me live down. I’d worn my baggiest pants; a pair of camo pants that had been right at the back of my closet. It was the only thing that made the pull-up feel slightly less noticeable to me. But there was still a crinkle. Max didn’t leave my side, and I’d wanted him to. Multiple times, he’d almost touched my butt, and then backed out at the last second. After the third time he did it, I stopped walking. So did he. I turned to face him, and looked up at his face. Something I tend to avoid doing, because it reminds me how short I am. Especially with overly tall people like Max. His eyebrows were wrinkled. I’m not the best at reading people, but it seemed that he was concerned and confused. This was also new: he was letting me in. Maybe. Or maybe it was an act to let me put my guard down, and then he was going to hurt me more. Did he actually care, or was I a plaything for him? Did it matter? Did he know? Something still struck me as odd. “What do you want? Why did you offer to let me track you?” The mask was back up. He didn’t answer the question, but instead replied with another one. “Did you really wet the bed, Teddy?” I looked away. Deliberately not at the ground, but also not at Max. “Yes, I did. I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t call me that. If you’re unwilling to call me ‘Theo’, you don’t have to use any nickname.” I said it calmly and precisely. Yesterday, I’d overcome a lot of shame when I’d planned to discuss possibilities with my mom. Was I still embarrassed? Sure. Was I going to let a bully tease me about it? No. Max looked like I’d slapped him. Which didn’t make sense. I’d spoken like that to him before, as a way to deflect his taunts. Normally, the standing up to him got him more riled. And that’s when he’d normally resort to doing something physical. But at least I could maintain the high ground of not letting him get to me. He mumbled something. I didn’t hear what it was, and I frankly didn’t care. I started walking away, faster than before. I hated every crinkly step, but I just hoped he wouldn’t follow. Max Why did I call him Teddy? I kind of hated myself at that moment. Yes, he’d hit my buttons. Why did you offer to let me track you? The words were asked out of genuine confusion. But how could I tell him the truth? And there was no lie that would make it make sense. Yes, having your toileting tracked by someone else was weird. Undignified. In fact, having your toileting tracked at all was pretty bad. But it meant I could still spend time with him. But no one could know that. No one could know how much Theo means to me. Especially not him. So I’d immediately gone into bully mode. Something I’d told myself I wasn’t going to do. Something I was actively trying not to do. I’d wanted to pat his bum. To remind myself he was really wearing a diaper. And to remind him, too. But I also wanted to be kind to him. I wanted him to know that I was on his side. And maybe I hadn’t been, before. Maybe I’d messed up so many times by trying to hurt him, because I didn’t want to have feelings for him. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. But he didn’t hear me. He was already walking away, as quick as his little legs could carry him. A mean part of me wanted to giggle at the crinkling that was noticeably louder when he walked like that. But no. He deserved better. I raced after him. Yes, I know he wanted to get away. But I needed to apologize. I needed to show him that I wanted to do better, be better. It didn’t take me long to catch up. I wanted to tap his shoulder, to get him to turn around. But I held back. He knew I was there, anyway. “What, Max?” “I’m sorry, Theo. You were right to call me out.” “Yeah, and?” “I want to make it up to you. I …” care about you (no, can’t say that) “don’t want to hurt you”. “Yeah, right!” “What do I need to do to prove it?” He looked up at me, properly. I loved when he did that. I’d watched him enough that I knew exactly how to read his expressions. He thinks he’s incredibly guarded with his emotions: he’s not. It looked like I was getting through to him. Or at least he wasn’t immediately dismissing me. “You started this whole mess. I want you to feel at least some of what I’m feeling. And the toilet logging isn’t enough.” The anger in his voice surprised me. He wasn’t entirely wrong. But I hadn’t exactly been responsible for him peeing in the cafeteria. Was I? Theo continued. “I want you to pee your pants, and admit it’s not the first time, and also put diapers on, and be part of this stupid program for real. And if you actually cared, you’d do that.” Theo I didn’t know where the words came from. Nor did I expect the anger or hurt in my voice. I don’t want to think of myself as spiteful or cruel. And that was both. It was unreasonable for me to ask someone to do that, just to prove that they didn’t want to hurt me. How was me hurting them going to make things right? But Max didn’t laugh or dismiss it. In fact, it seemed that he was considering it. “Wow, you must really hate me,” he said. It was a soft voice; one I don’t think I’ve ever heard him use before. “I don’t think I can do that. I want to, to show you that you matter to me, but there’s too much at stake.” I matter to him? “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just pissed off at this situation, and I blame you.” “That’s fair. Can we make a compromise, though? I don’t want to pee my pants in front of everyone. But if putting me in diapers would make you feel better, I’ll do that.” I blinked twice. And then blinked again. This was not making any sense. Did I want Max to put a diaper on? Fuck yes. He deserved it. But also no. Not if it meant it was another way to taunt me. And also because he was being so open about it. It almost seemed like he wanted me to say that. “Why? So you can prove that I’m spiteful and immature, and you’re the ‘bigger man’?” He didn’t respond immediately. It looked like he wanted to punch something; I was already bracing my shoulders. But the punch never came. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me. It was gentle, like I was some fragile thing that was going to break at any moment. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t push him away, even though part of me was screaming to. Instinctively, I almost hugged him back. I felt my arms going up to go around him, but mentally made myself stop. “Theo, I care about you. So, so much,” he whispered, bending down so he spoke right into my ear. Chills went down my spine. I thought I actually believed him. “But then why…” It made absolutely no sense. Why have you made my life a misery? Why have you treated me so awfully? Why did you make me pee my pants? Why did you make me talk to you like a baby? Why did you lie about me having “accidents”? Why did you agree to log my toileting, as if I was incapable? But also, why did you offer to have me log yours? Why don’t I hate you? Why does getting praise from you feel so good? Why did part of me want to spend more time with you? Why did I want that hug to never end? I didn’t ask any of those. There was an awkward pause, before he dejectedly said “I… don’t know. I’m so confused. I wanna be better, do better.” “So I’m a charity case?” “God no! You’re the coolest person I know. I think maybe I’m a little jealous.” “Of the guy wearing a diaper? The guy who peed his pants in the cafeteria?” I didn’t know when I’d started walking again, heading towards my locker. I’d never had the biggest school bag, and now there were two briefs in the bag as well, so I’d need to start putting my books in the locker, rather than carrying them with me. Max was keeping pace. It wasn’t that early any more, and other students had started piling in. But we were given a wide berth. I don’t think it was done deliberately; people just would tend to stay out of the way of the school bully, and the guy who peed his pants. “Of the guy that tries so hard in everything he does. The guy who pushes himself more than anything else, even though he’s scared. The guy who’s confident, smart, and cocky, and doesn’t give two shits what anyone thinks. The guy whose spirit never breaks, no matter how many times it’s tested.” Was he talking about me? I somehow felt seen and proud, but also like he was talking about someone else. “I—” “How’s your potty training going, big boy?” Max Oh, for fuck’s sake, Brad! He’d sneaked up on us, and I hadn’t been paying proper attention to our surroundings. It felt so much nicer when Theo was my entire world. Honesty was such a rush. Yes, I was jealous. Theo was awesome, and he didn’t know it. And if I couldn’t be as cool as he was, I needed to make him worse. I needed to make him seem like a joke, so I could get over him. Of course, that didn’t work. But as the words had tumbled out, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted. Until the real world came knocking again. If I acted the same as Brad, I’d lose the little trust I’d gained from Theo. If I ignored Brad, he’d keep taunting Theo. And he’d be confused that I wasn’t playing along. “Why are you asking? Do you want some tips?” Theo snapped at Brad. “Tips? Huh?” “On potty training. I figure that’s the only reason why you’d be asking. After all, I have potty trained quite a few toddlers at the daycare. Are you having some potty troubles of your own?” “N-no,” Brad replied, confused. He looked at me for help. I felt like I wanted to be on Theo’s side. Screw the consequences. “Theo is an expert. He did get my brother Luke pretty much out of diapers.” “He’s only so good at teaching it because he’s still learning himself! Isn’t that right, kiddo? You need someone to tell you to go wee-wee, or you’d have accidents?” Shit. I’d given Brad extra ammunition. I hadn’t meant to do that. Theo was retreating into himself. He wanted to fight what Brad was saying, and say it was a lie. It’s what I would have done. Theo was potty-trained. He didn’t need the reminders, and we all knew it. Except that he’d wet the bed last night. Except that he was in a diaper, right now. “Everyone needs a little help, sometimes, Brad. Is that a bad thing?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. It felt so good to defend Theo, rather than fight against him. Brad spluttered, and walked off, mumbling under his breath. I felt proud of myself, until I saw Theo’s face. “I can fight my own battles.” “Of course you can. I never said you couldn’t.” “Don’t you see that by you speaking back to Brad, instead of me, you’ve made me look more pathetic to him? I can see you were trying to help, though, so thanks.” Theo I was dreading this next part. I’d kept a keen eye on the time. The talks with Max had taken longer than I’d planned: I was hoping to spend some time with Nate and Rose before school started. But there wasn’t going to be enough time before class began. There was something that needed to be done before class. The stupid toileting log. I didn’t want to remind Max, but I also couldn’t “forget” to fill it in. I’d lose what little responsibility over this I’d been given. If Max was going to prove he wanted to help, why couldn’t I have a little fun with it as well? There was no-one else really near enough, so this would just be between the two of us. “Are you ready to go potty, Maxie?” I asked, in a similar voice to the one he’d used on me the day before. “Huh? No, I’m good—oh.” In just that short time, he’d already forgotten. Unfortunately, my… ahem, “underwear” made it a little bit trickier to forget. “Together?” I both asked and reminded him. He nodded, putting on a brave face. I didn’t know why he was so scared. I felt a sudden yearning to hold his hand, but held back. “This is stupid. Do you even need to pee, right now?” he asked. We were nearing the bathroom doors. “No, but it’s what the schedule says. We have to at least try.” He headed to a urinal. I also started heading to one, but at the last second, decided to go into one of the stalls. I didn’t want Max, or anyone else for that matter, to see the pull-up around my waist. Filling the log was easy enough. There wasn’t really any urgency, the pull-up was dry, and I didn’t use the toilet. I stood for about a minute, just to make sure, even though it was silly. When I left the stall, I saw Max still at the urinal, clenching his fists. “Max?” I was concerned. I didn’t get a response. I quietly headed towards him. It felt incredibly inappropriate, but something seemed off. His zipper was still pulled up. He was shaking slightly; his shoulders going backwards and forwards. His face was red, it looked like he was straining. Under his breath, it sounded like he was saying “You can do this.” What the hell? Did Max not know how to use a toilet? That didn’t make any sense. What was he so afraid of? I tapped him on the shoulder. It was a little bit of a reach, but doable. “What are you doing?” His body stiffened. I hadn’t looked at his eyes, but I would guess that they looked dazed earlier, and he’d just come to. “I can’t do this, Theo.” “Do what? Use a urinal?” “No! I can’t pee my pants.” -
My favorite poo is soft enough to push out while I’m sitting not runny but soft enough to squish around my butt cheeks I love the warmth -
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I am trying to find early to mid twenty y/o ABDLs in the capital region that would like to talk and maybe eventually meet up. I am personally in Saratoga County. -
By Kissnofrog · Posted
Can i be added, please? @Kiss_no_frog
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