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Chapter Sixty-Five: Goodbye “Adam!” Seo-ya cried out as she burst into the room at the second Zhang and Yoon were gone, stepping over the playpen and scooping up his shivering body. “Are you all right?” His entire body was shivering so hard that he felt like he was inadvertently shaking his head in answer to her question. She probed around his body, her eyes darting all over him, and then placed her hand on his head and pressed him against her body. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” she hushed anxiously, her words trying to will that sentiment into existence to soothe them both. 『 He’s fine, 』Shik scoffed as he slowly meandered into the room, and Seo-ya spun around to gape at him. 『 He’s terrified! 』she contested, her tone tense and in an elevated octave. 『 Good, 』Shik hissed, slamming his whiskey glass down on a nearby table. 『 It’s about fucking time! I hope they scared him mute! 』 『 Shik, he’s your nephew! 』she countered in a slight shriek, placing her hand over his ear, but she was still loud enough to be heard clearly. 『 He won’t be for long! 』Shik bellowed triumphantly with a slight laugh, throwing his arms out. 『 He’ll be Zhang’s problem soon enough, and we can wash our hands of that Little shit! 』 『 What? What are you talking about? 』Seo-ya gasped, keeping her hand on Adam’s head. The heat from her body spiked, though his shivering only slightly diminished. He closed his eyes, trying to breathe to calm himself, but the conversation was not helping. 『 It was Zhang’s price: he wants Joomi, 』Shik shrugged with a smug grin on his face as he grabbed the glass. 『 Not much of a concession on my part, really. And it’s all happening tonight, my dear. Kang’s confirmed – this all ends tonight. 』 Seo-ya’s breath caught in her throat and her heart hammered in her chest; Adam felt it against his cheek, nearly drowning out his own pulse racing in his throat. Her hand, which remained pressed against Adam’s head, weakened slightly. 『 This is good, 』he asserted, more than reassured, letting out a slight scoff through his nose. 『 He’ll be out of your hair, and you can finally have your life back, 』he mused and paused to take a sip of his drink, then smacked his lips in satisfaction. When Seo-ya didn’t meet him in his satisfaction, he rolled his eyes and his lips thinned. 『 I leave after dinner. Make sure he’s ready to go, 』he ordered, waving his hand in Adam’s general direction. 『 Where? 』she practically whispered. 『 He’s coming with me, 』he said so matter-of-factly, as if it were obvious. 『 What? 』Seo-ya gasped, her hand coming off of Adam’s head as her fingers spread out wide and her palm pointed to the ceiling. 『 He can’t – it - It’s too dangerous! 』 『 He’ll be fine, 』Shik dismissed with a wave of his hand as he turned his back to walk out. 『 Once we’re done with Kang, Zhang will take him home. So have everything of his ready. 』 Seo-ya stared as she watched her husband walk out of the room, her mouth hanging open. After a few seconds, she exhaled a held breath, and her knees weakened as she descended onto the couch without much grace, her hand catching her so that she didn’t fall. Adam’s full-body shivering had calmed, though his hands still trembled. ‘We’ll be okay,’ Little Boja said quietly, but confidently. Adam wished he could feel the same. “Did you… did you understand all that?” Seo-ya asked suddenly as she leaned back against the couch, her eyes slowly panning down to Adam, lingering on his blonde hair for a moment before meeting his blue eyes. “Some,” he admitted readily and without thought, acting on his last known plan since his brain wasn’t quite ready to devise a new one. He closed his eyes and grimaced, trying to latch onto the topic to distance himself from everything that had just happened. “I… I thought you knew, but… just didn’t want me to say anything.” When she didn’t say anything right away, he opened his eyes and looked up at her; she was still staring down at him, shocked, but her eyebrows were slightly furrowed. He swallowed. “I have been learning,” he excused with a half shrug, grateful it wasn’t a lie. “That’s what I do in the labs when Eomma is working. I do homework from Halmae and… watch shows without subtitles.” She kept staring, though her expression softened, and in the uncomfortable silence, he couldn’t help but keep going. “And it - it wasn’t hard to… even if I didn’t know exactly… between… the call, and Uncle Bom, and…” He dropped his gaze. “I guess it all just… seemed like the obvious conclusion.” Seo-ya finally nodded and looked away, staring at a cushion. It was hard for Adam to determine if she was thinking, or still in some kind of shock; he wasn’t sure why she’d be in shock, and that curiosity helped him ignore his own feelings on the matter. He opened his mouth, ready to ask her if she was okay, but he stopped; when had trying to reach her, to bond with her, ever worked? He was reminded of the snake from his dream and the shaman’s observation: it didn’t want his help. And he didn’t know why he was consistently surprised by that. Amazons did not look to Littles and see capable adults worth considering, even before the diapers. In fact, it was Joomi’s willingness to listen to him that set her apart and made him trust her so early on. But Seo-ya had regularly defended him where her baby-obsessed brain saw the need, and that was the angle he decided to pursue. “Auntie?” She hummed rather than directly respond, her eyes still looking distant. “I’m scared.” He paused in anticipation of her jumping into action… But instead, she closed her eyes, a pained expression washing over her face. This struck Adam hard. He had been honest, in that he was scared, but meant it as a bridge to connect with her. To get her to pivot and fuss over him. But instead, he was met with the agony of a woman who could do nothing to help ease his fear, and she knew it. He hadn’t wanted her cooing and falsities… Until he didn’t have it. Anxiety seized him, tensing his entire exhausted body up, and all that could move was his mouth. Words bubbled up and began spilling out, like some sort of confessional. Like some kind of last words. “I’m tired. I’m scared. And… and I just want to go home. I miss Eomma. And Boja. And Halmae. And - And Halbo. I just - I just want to go back to - to - to normal…” “I know,” Seo-ya whispered as she finally moved, taking in a breath and pulling him into a hug. She placed her bony hand on his head, then lowered it to press a soft kiss to the top of his head. “Me too.” Adam’s eyes opened a little wider at the softness in her tone. He closed his eyes as his face scrunched up and he buried into her chest. She leaned back and gently patted his back, staring across the way, and the pair sat in silence like this for almost ten minutes before Seo-ya silently changed him, cleaned up the play area, and began to make dinner. Preparations for dinner were quiet. Adam sat in a chair, wedged amongst pillows, Hopper, and Little Boja, staring at her in the kitchen. He spent a long time trying to tune his brain to cope with either humor or something distracting, but his brain was too disjointed. Numb. He watched her cook, staring at her distant expressions, periodically asking himself a question and then letting the white noise settle in to answer. ‘Adam?’ Adam took a sharp breath. Little Boja had been so quiet for so long, he had forgotten about his upgrade. He looked into the blue and black eyes of the stuffed tiger, hoping that was enough. ‘They miss you, too.’ He clenched his jaw, his eyes widened slightly, and his hand tensed around the stuffed tiger’s paw. ‘Big Brother - Boja - talked to me a lot before I came here,’ the voice continued. ‘While home, I was able to do so much so quickly! He warned me to process everything I could, because once I was here, I would be much slower once in here.’ The voice paused. ‘Boy, was he right!’ Adam smiled slightly, still fighting a swirling mass of emotions. ‘He had a lot of recordings, so I could get to know everyone. You mostly, of course, but he let me listen in on the family discussing and planning how to get you home safely. It’s all they talk about,’ Little Boja continued, still chipper and upbeat, but more subdued as he sounded like he was reflecting. ‘He also had me watch that movie, Cedocchio. The one about the puppet that becomes real?’ Adam nodded slightly. ‘Boja told me you’re like the fairy because you made him real.’ Little Boja paused, and Adam’s eyebrows knitted tightly together as he grimaced, trying to hold back tears and failing. ‘But then I found out that the original story ends with the puppet being killed, and I didn’t like that, and he told me to ignore it, and that wasn’t his point, but still!’ Adam bowed his head as he smiled and forced himself to hold back laughter. Tears squeezed out the corners of his eyes, but the emotional swell had thankfully deflated. ‘So, do you think Aunt Seo-ya is scared for you or herself?’ Adam sat upright and jerked towards the stuffed tiger in confusion. He glanced briefly toward the kitchen, waiting to see if she had noticed his reaction, then leaned in toward the plush. “Why would she be scared for herself?” he whispered, staring downward as he tried to piece that puzzle together on his own despite asking. ‘Well, I mean, I’m still new to how humans react to things,’ Little Boja backtracked a little, his tone becoming uncertain. ‘But if Uncle Shik is willing to betray and discard family as he pleases, wouldn’t that apply to her, too?’ Air left Adam’s lungs as he sat back, staring at the plush with his mouth slightly open. Then, he looked over to Seo-ya, who looked much the same: distant, distracted, and practically on autopilot. He swallowed as his eyebrows furrowed and he stared at her, thinking back to the brief dialogue between her and Shik and her odd response in its wake. ‘Me too,’ she had said. Adam sniffed and shifted his lips from side to side. Without Little Boja’s insight, he may have taken that to mean she was afraid for him, too. That he was going where she could no longer protect him (from her point of view). Yet in his estimation, Seo-ya had proved that she only protected him when it meant protecting herself, too. Still, Shik hadn’t threatened her (that he knew of) or implied that her future was in danger. If there was a reason to fear for herself, it was because she now realized how far her husband was willing to go. He had broken every pillar Goryeo held dear: he had disrespected nearly every family member, he had broken rank in both family and career, even breaking the law by kidnapping Adam, and he had failed to practice kibun in any sense, constantly prioritizing his own wants over the needs of anyone else. He closed his mouth as he drew in a breath to sigh it out, believing Seo-ya had finally seen her husband’s hypocrisy, for he could do as he pleased, but expected everyone else to abide by the pillars all the same. “Both, I think,” he whispered to him, putting a hand on the stuffed tiger’s head, and he nodded. He wished he could say he felt glad or vindicated that Seo-ya was feeling the type of all-consuming dread that Littles felt every day, free or Adopted. But he just couldn’t. Adam sat in Seo-ya’s lap for dinner. Not by his own request, though he couldn’t say he was against it. There was a comfort in the warmth of her body, the sheltering feeling of her hand on his stomach, and a power in numbers, as it was two of them sitting across from the one Shik. All of it was an illusion, he knew, but he allowed himself the peace and comfort it gave him while he could. 『 What’s got you so morose? 』Shik asked with an arched eyebrow at his wife about halfway through their meals. 『 Huh? 』she breathed as she looked up, breaking from her thoughts and blinking a few times. 『 Oh, it’s - it’s nothing, dear. I think I’m just tired. 』 Shik hummed in disbelief, and his lips thinned. He didn’t look so much concerned as annoyed that she was off, but perhaps Adam was just tired of him and couldn’t see anything but malice. 『 Seo-ya, 』he sighed throatily and adjusted in his seat. 『 He was never going to stay with us. He was always going to go back to Joomi. 』 『 I know, 』she stated quietly as she scooped some rice and vegetables onto the plastic blue spoon for Adam. He looked up at her, making brief eye contact before opening his mouth. 『 I know you’ve wanted a Little for a while now, 』he grumbled and half-shrugged. 『 Once things are settled, I’ll get you your own. 』 Adam spent a long time chewing on his food to avoid reacting to that, while Seo-ya shifted in her seat and let out a very quiet hum. 『 Thank you, husband, 』she replied as she bowed her head. Dinner proceeded quietly, with no one better off than when it started. Seo-ya remained subdued, so Shik stayed irritated, and Adam tried to conserve his energy and focus for the night ahead. Truth be told, he wanted to plan, but there were too many unknowns. Too many variables. The best he could do was relax as much as possible, hoping to keep his wits about him if they became necessary. So he remained silent and compliant throughout the remainder of dinner. Silent while Seo-ya cleaned up the table and Shik left to change. And silent as the accouterments for his departure were gathered: a diaper bag and the same carrier seat he arrived in. Seo-ya smiled thinly as she lifted him up, did a final diaper check, and lowered him into the cushioned carrier. Adam smiled slightly in silent reply, hugging Little Boja tightly when the chest restraints were clicked into place. He frowned curiously as she put shoes on his feet, and he gasped when she lifted the purple kangaroo. “Would you like to bring him too?” she asked breathlessly. “Yes, please,” he replied and smiled broadly as he was allowed to bring both. Seo-ya’s smile looked genuine for a brief moment, before the stress and sadness of the moment pulled her lips back down to neutral. They shared a long look. She looked tempted to say something. He felt tempted, too, but he didn’t know what he would say. Then suddenly, he did. “Thank you.” Seo-ya’s eyes widened slightly, and although the word didn’t come out, he could easily read the word what on her lips. He simply stared at her with the smallest of smiles, not wishing to elaborate. His appreciation for her was thin and specific, so he didn’t want to ruin the moment by getting too detailed. This time had been horrendous, largely thanks to her, but there were key moments when she showed a sliver of good. Maybe her reasons were always self-interested, but she wasn’t Yoon, and maybe that meant she could be better. Maybe showing appreciation for the times she did intervene would settle on her, and she could be better moving forward. And with any luck, she could figure out how before Shik kept his promise to her and captured some poor Little. The doorbell rang. Seo-ya looked up briefly, looked down at Adam, and winced before making haste to the front door. ‘For what?’ Little Boja asked curiously. "It's complicated," Adam mused quietly, shimmying down in the carrier as much as possible to sufficiently hide behind the two plushies. The echoing voices down the hall grew louder and louder until the blonde tensed when he saw Shik, accompanied by Hyun, Yoon, Zhang, and the three men whose names he never caught at dinner. He shivered as all eyes turned to him, and he avoided looking directly at Yoon, who smirked haughtily. They were all dressed in their usual suits, yet Adam felt they were somehow their “best” suits, even if they looked identical to the rest. Maybe the material was better than what he was used to seeing, or they were just particularly clean – he wasn’t very knowledgeable about fashion. 『 Who’s coming on his side? 』Hyun asked as he frowned down at Adam, then looked back to Shik. Seo-ya sidestepped the group, walked over to the carrier, and began double-checking everything packed. 『 Mung, for certain, 』Shik groused as he watched his wife carefully. 『 Maybe his son. Kang’s been so removed from the work, he doesn’t know many below him. 』 The crowd bobbed their heads in nods and affirmations, with a few grins or frowns of agreement. 『 Is he ready? 』Zhang asked curiously, and Seo-ya looked over her shoulder, craned her neck slightly to see him, then nodded. 『 Wonderful, 』Yoon chuckled as she took a dramatic step towards Adam, who tried to retreat further into the cushions. She twirled a yellow pacifier on her index finger and quickly crouched to his level; she made a mock-sympathetic pout and cooed, then held up the pacifier. "Open up." Adam closed his eyes, sighed, and opened his mouth. Unsurprisingly, the thing inflated in his mouth immediately. Yoon hummed, satisfied with herself, and moved her arm to touch the top of the carrier, but Seo-ya held out an arm. 『 One moment, 』she said quietly. 『 She’s grown attached, 』Shik mocked impatiently. 『 That’s easy to do, 』one of the men chuckled. Seo-ya’s eyes dropped downward as she blushed, her eyebrows pinching and relaxing as she wrestled with something… Maybe whether to react to the ridicule over her head, or maybe what exactly to say. When her eyes met Adam’s, she reached her arm in and placed her hand on his cheek. “Be good,” she murmured, rubbing her thumb against his cheek. Adam stared into her eyes, unable to detect if it was some kind of code, plea, or what she thought they expected her to say. In the lingering silence, she swallowed as her lips thinned and her eyebrows twitched; she seemed to have more to say, but her courage was failing her. One last attempt, then. He lifted his hand, placed it on hers, and leaned his face into her cupped hand. Her eyes watered ever so slightly as she squinted at him, and she summoned a deep breath through her nose and held it. “Goodbye,” she whispered on the exhale. Quickly, she withdrew her hand and disappeared from his field of view. Adam sighed through his nose as he embraced Hopper with his arm once again and pulled both plushies in for a hug. He was disappointed… but not surprised. Shik lazily waved towards his wife as he wryly grinned at the crowd, as if she had just proven his point. The crowd gave Seo-ya sympathetic smiles and head bows. All except Yoon, of course. That monster of a woman looked bemused as her eyes lingered on Seo-ya, then sharply snapped to Adam. She widened her eyes in a silent message that he could only read as I’ve got you now. She gave a toothy smirk before slapping a button at the top part of the carrier. The opaque canopy began to close as someone lifted the carrier. 『 Let’s finish this, 』Shik announced to his traitorous cronies, all of whom chuckled in agreement, which was the last thing Adam heard before the canopy shut and sealed itself. -
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My stash of ABU Little Kings and Northshores was getting low so I just ordered a couple of cases of the LNGU Cloud diapers and the Cottontailz FlutterHop diapers. I should be set for another few months now. My stash of ABU Little Kings and Northshores was getting low so I just ordered a couple of cases of the LNGU Cloud diapers and the Cottontailz FlutterHop diapers. I should be set for another few months now. -
By RazzleDazzlepup · Posted
depends on the weather ... usually i sleep in a diaper and short-sleeve onesie but sometimes i'll wear a long sleeved one or a romper instead... and can't forget the occasional plastic pants wish i had some footies but i don't yet, will probably grab some before winter comes in the next few months ... -
Have you ever tried shaving while using a warm shower, THICK (Barbasol) shave cream and a TOP TIER 5 blade razor??? I ask as when I first began shaving, I hd the SAME ISSUES....but once I was advised by someone when IC 1st became a part of my life (was on whatever group that evolved into ADISC and I have no idea WHO it was who gave me these instructions, but WOW! WHAT A DIFFERENCE!)... I always have a warm...almost HOT shower...and I allow my skin to relax by washing myself top to bottom first...then I shave...by them, your skin is relaxed. One important aspect...IF your hair is much more than 1/8" long, take it down with either clippers, scissors as log hairs clog the razor and THEN you rip hair out and wind up with ingrown hairs and PAIN.... so once your hair is as short as possible, you apply enough shave cream (thick stuff is SUPERIOR as it never is wiped away by the razor, it continually spread back out as you shave so gels are OUT!) and then, CAREFULLY make sure you only ever ull the razor STRAIGHT! ANY minimal sideways movement result in a micro cut and yes, takes practice but WOW is it worth it! I begin shaving the base of Mr. Happy, then above as that is EASY...I always rinse the razor well after every 2-4 strokes, then I move to my scrotum, pull it, stretc it, making spts as flat as possible and hit that, again, keeping the razor CLEAN/free of hair as a clogged razor can't cut. I then do the sides, in between and both sides of my groin, then the rest of my diaper area and this takes MAYBE 5 minutes, taking my time, trying to get every last hair which is almost impossible but the less hair, the les odor! When IC, this is a real issue as no mater how well you clean up outside of showering, hair seems t retain odor and I was able to smell it.....since I began shaving 21+ years ago, especially once I took the advice and bought the gold plated razors (they do last me a month or more each, so when bought in bulk (12 pack, works out to under $1/shave..maybe even $.50 cents or less...... and since i bought those razors with the single razor trimmer for super tight spos and the barbasol menthol shave CREAM, I have NEVER ONCE AGAIN had an ingrown hair, razor burn, ANYTHING. Fast forward to my hair deciding to almost overnight leave me with hair on the sides and back but nothing up top..I spent about 2 months trying to make that look good,but that is impossible, so I trimmed my hair as much as I could with my beard trimmer and began shaving my head....and again, with a top tier razor and barbasol, no razor burn and literally look BALD as these get as close as possible and I can even go 1-2 days between shaving when i am hurting or tired.....but wow what a difference shaving after a warm/hot shower and top tier razors and shave cream make! I don't know if you're willing to try this or not, but my experience is FANTASTIC! I even had the nurses during my last hospitalization RAVING over my skin health as they are HYPER VIGILANT (don't even want you wearing diapers only I REFUSE to piss my bed, wake up cold and wet so I won that argument and of course brought my own and again, nurses were amazed at the quality (Megamax) as they never saw such a quality adult diaper and two of them asked me where to get them as they have someone in their family who needs and they HATE the junk they buy leak constantly...I warned them, they aren't cheap, and you pretty much have to buy 2 cases at a time for free shipping, but both wrote down NorthShore's number and website..I told them to call and they'll send you samples, and the one did, right in front of me. The nurses I had were awesome... When nurses are amazed an IC person has skin health as good as mine, I am doing something right...you wind up being lazy and getting diaper rash (BAD once!) and you quickly learn to be VIGILANT taking care of your entire diaper area skin..and hair removal in that area makes a world of diference! IF you want to try, if you have any questions, you know you can ask me anything! I am happy to help! Believe me, I HATED saving at frst, but the right tols for the right job made ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! Wen I shave...you see NOTHING BUT SKIN! NOTHING to "hide" any skin from Desitin and my skin stays immaculate, and has been for at least 18 years since i had severe diaper rash due to being bedridden, simply changing without cleaning (my LOVELY "WIFE" refused to help at all) and I wound up with cracked skin on my cheeks which made walking, siting, moving PAINFUL for the 4-7 days it took to get healing to where it was much less an issue. I would not do this IF I had ingrown hairs but the MAIN WORD OF CAUTION IS TAKE YOUR TIME! One slight side to side movement with one of those razors? you'll blee...not much, it will heal in a day but be methodical, careful and have at it! I promise you a far better shave than any trimmer I have ever seen can give. I have a tope tier trimmer for my head and you can still see the hair, even though it is shaved as close as that can do...... yet with the razor in the shower I LOOK BALD! I grew a long beard as gravity took my once gigantic chest and moved it down, and now my hair from my head fell down to my face LOL..... HOPE this helps! Again, I will help anyone I can so feel free to ask me anything and if it is something you want private, message me, i will answer when I get back from work in a few hours. I have a wreck to put together, block sand and get ready t paint,hopefully tomorrow! JUST WHEN I WANT NO WORK, I swear the sky opened up as I am SWAMPED plus have 9 Dr appts next week (5 in one day, 3 the next and then 1 on Friday, and I have to work around all of those as I am selling my beater for 2x what it is worth, but have to take the amplifiers, cables etc out, dash camera (front/sides.rear) out and then put it in my "new" car that I got for free...not really, but my wife can't pay me the 750 she owes me, spent "mommy's money" on a car she did not need and now I go from a Civic to an Infinity that I have serviced/repaired since it was bought and needs nothing (well, no factory stereo will EVER satisfy my needs!) outside of the multiple scratches it never had until she began driving it in April! I had this paint looking as good as my Monte carlo and now I have to install a multiple amplifier stereo in it, wetsand/buff and maybe paint some of it on top of an avalanche of work that all came at the EXACT WRONG TIME LOL....but the money is needed, heating oil is over %5.50/gallon.....so I have little choice! CptKirk
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