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    • The following links are good resources for pants to wear over diapers.:  https://www.etsy.com/market/bigtots    https://www.etsy.com/shop/SatinMaidenTheUSA  https://www.etsy.com/shop/BabyYourDollCo?page=2#items
    • I am posting, therefore I am wet and messy this morning in a Little Kings diaper. This heat wave is atrocious but the warm poopies in my diaper is sooo nice. 🫠😌
    • Dear readers  I wish you fun with this weeks chapter, that covers Lilas day at school.  Annie  =====================================================    “Hello, Mia.” she greeted her young friend.  “Good morning, Lila.” The two girls hugged each other as the door opened, and if it were not for Lila's teeny-approved backpack, you could have thought they were two primary school kids heading off to class.  “Anna, could you take Lila's changing supplies to Pauline?” Maria handed a bag with some wipes and three kid-sized diapers to Mia's mum. “Sure”, Anna responded, and you could clearly see the fresh bond of friendship between the adults. It even seemed to be a special trust between the mothers caring for a little one. The girls, on the other hand, were already chatting about yesterday and their plans for the next weekend.  Mia had to tell her friend about the latest cartoon series that she was allowed to watch in the evening, and Lila listened as if it were the most important news that she had been missing for her upcoming day at school.  “Have a good school day.” Maria kissed her daughter and sent her off. They started walking down the street, deeply engrossed in their conversation. “Hello, Lila.” The little girl felt Alex's hand suddenly tousle through her hair. Lila greeted her with a tight hug.  “Did you have a good Sunday?” The big teeny wanted to know. “Yes, Alex, it was great. I was playing with Mia, and we were feeding her baby cow. And we were having so much fun.” “Hmmm, I wish we could have spent the time together, but mum insisted that I prepare for the exams this week, and in the afternoon we visited my aunt who lives in the next town. It is nice that you had a good time playing.” She caressed her little friend's hair again and suddenly noticed Lila's little hand holding her. “I am glad that you are with us now.” Alex kissed the little girl on her cheeks. Before Lila could greet her other friends and little Lukas, who accompanied the big kids, as his preschool was next to the school building. Slowly, they approached the little schoolhouse. And after they dropped off Lukas in his preschool class, they headed to their classroom.   Pauline was already there, talking to some students while sitting at her desk. Lila's tension grew. She did want to be with her friends and play just as she did on her weekend, and she was not so sure about school anymore. Her fear was back. And all her intentions about starting to talk faded like mist on a sunny day. She sat on her seat next to Mia, and despite being so close to her, she felt kind of lonely. Mia already had most of her school supplies on the table, while Lila, on the other hand, noticed that her idea of just bringing her stuffed animal had suddenly caught up on her. She even intentionally forgot her notebook, as it would take some space away from her little friends. But no ... she needs them to cuddle. She felt the urge to take them out of their hiding spot. And certainly they were more important than her math supplies, her notebook, or her pencil case.  “So, are you ready for the new week?” Pauline greeted them as she was coming over to their table.  “You, ... Lila, can you write me a short essay about your weekend and what you liked best?” Pauline tried to give her a task without setting the bar too high for her new student.  But Lila did not move. This was all wrong. She wanted to have fun with her friends.  And she knew she had not even a single sheet of paper in her backpack. She really wanted to play and just squeeze Noah and forget about her worries. She was just a child, wasn't she? Slowly, the demands of her teacher settled in. A tear was running down her cheek as Pauline already wanted to go to her next student. She suddenly stopped.   She must have noticed Lila's distress.  “What is the matter with you, sweetie?” she softly asked as she got down on her knees next to her.  “Are you so afraid of something?” she guessed, looking in the pupil's face, trying to read the child's strong emotions. “Maybe we did start too quickly”, she mumbled to herself. “Did you forget your Noah?”, she guessed again, as she saw a glance of need in the child's eyes.  “Maybe he is in your backpack?”, she suggested. As she touched the school bag, another wave of anxiety and fear hit Lila. She braced herself for the teacher's anger and innocently hid her face in her hands. ‘Click’, the bag opened, and Noah's head was poking out, looking around in the classroom.  “Oh, you have brought all your friends.” With a knowing smile of someone caring for little kids, she put the three stuffed animals into Lila's lap. “Hmm, and your bag is empty”, she smiled for a second. “You did pack them, and you did not have any place left for your notebook or pencil case." her teacher realized.  Lila nodded, confessing that the plushies were more important than her school supplies. Another tear was running down Lila's cheeks. She expected to be scolded for her mischief. Everyone knew that this was so childish. Or NO … maybe even stupid, and she had ignored the teenage thoughts that told her she needed her stuff. Would Pauline send her back to a strict teacher, to a school in town? As she slowly  looked up in the adults' eyes, she knew she was in school, and that was not a place for playing with her stuffies. But then Pauline had an idea. You know that even plushies have to officially apply to be allowed to come to school. She said softly enough that even Lila was aware that she was not in danger.  “I want you to write me a recommendation letter for their school application. I want their names and an explanation why they should be allowed to become students.”  Lila looked at her, and you could see all her questions. Instead of laughing at her for her childish behavior, her teacher used the opportunity to get in contact with her. “And don't worry, I have some sheets and a pen for you, and your plushies can stay at least for today.”  Lila immediately started to write down her friends' names on the paper that Pauline had handed her.  But why should they go to school? She started thinking about her teacher's question.  Obviously, because she needed them not to feel alone. But was there more that she had not thought about?  As she had learned in her old middle school class, she made a mind map to not forget about the important points.  They calmed her when she was afraid she started.  Perhaps they also need to learn new things, she asked herself, thinking about how Noah coached her about playing on Sunday.  Noah surely wants to get his degree in child psychology to become a therapist. And for that, you need to write essays in school. She noted down her thoughts on a new branch. Both ... Hopsie and Wiggles are still mute, just like herself. Pauline could certainly help them so that they would start speaking too. The ideas sparked in her mind, and the page quickly filled with arguments why her friends should be allowed in class.  As the school bell rang after two hours, she squeezed the last argument on the page and proudly but wordlessly handed it over to her teacher.  Proud of her work, she lightheartedly ran outside with Mia to have fun on the swing.  Pauline, on the other hand, was deep in her thoughts. She had kids bringing their toys to school instead of the school's supplies. But usually just in the first or second grade.  She was pretty sure she had reacted correctly in letting her mute child write an essay about her reasons, but that did not take the difficult task off her shoulders to call Lila's parents.  At least, she should suggest that Mum and Dad should help her pack her things and decide what to bring. However, at the same time, she did not want to ruin the tiny, slowly growing plant of trust in Lila, and when she called her parents and told them she did not bring even the most important school supplies, that could destroy their growing relationship.  She pushed the thought aside and took Lila's essay. She had to smile multiple times as she read the well-expressed arguments about stuffies going to school.  Actually, she is quite good at writing, she thought after she had admired her pupil's reasoning for more education on plushies. ‘Good job, ’ she wrote with her red pen and copied the essay before she put it back on Lila's desk. In so many ways, her new student was fascinating. She was so attached to her childish life, loving her stuffed animal and not even being potty-trained, while at the same time, she was able to write something like that.  If she wanted to give her the best possible start in her life, it would not be right to give her easier exercises like for someone who is having learning difficulties.  No, she would need age-appropriate tasks, but wrapped into her childish world so that she would not be afraid to fail.  ### In their last lesson, they had art, and Pauline told them that she could draw a picture of her friends whom she brought to class in her school bag.  She had printed a sheet of explanations on how to draw light and shadow for her mute pupil so that she could just read if she had questions, and planned to come and see how she was doing after some time to give her support and advice.  As Lila started to draw enthusiastically, she was quite sure she had found the right task. The little girl on the other side started humming the title melody of her favorite children's audiobook as she outlined the shape of Hopsi with his long ears.  As she was checking that her drawing was accurate, she looked at the plushie in her hand and back at the sheet. She wanted to capture all the emotions that he radiated like a lightbulb in the night.  But how could she draw emotions? They did not show on the text that Pauline handed her, and she was pretty sure Mia did not know that either. She could just make a happy or a sad face. Unfortunately, Hopsie was neither happy nor sad. He was... she could not describe it.  Maybe he was annoyed that she put him in his dark prison, the sad thought washed over her.  She suddenly noticed her stuffed friend shook her head in denial, and it was as if she heard a high-pitched, rapid voice in her head. It was so soft and gentle that she could not hear what he was saying, but he spoke, and that was the only thing that counted for her.  Her stomach grumbled a little as she cuddled Hopsie another time. “What are you feeling?” she asked him, and did not notice Mia's smile as she heard her talk to the stuffed toy.  “You are also talking to them?” her young neighbor wanted to know.  She nodded, and for a short moment, she thought about answering. Maybe she could speak to her about her communication with Noah. She may have some further knowledge about the speech of her friends.   For a while, she watched what her schoolmate was drawing when she noticed her painful need in her belly return.  She was certain that she would not be able to hold it until the class was over, and as she was in class, she could not just hide while she went potty.  Would the other kids laugh at her when she messes her Pampers? Should she just give up on holding it back? ‘Don't worry, sweetheart, ’ she suddenly heard Noah's voice. ’Pauline will change you just as last week. Everything will be fine.’ Lila knew she had no other chance, she had ruled out going to the toilet like a big girl a long time ago. Just as she relaxed a little, the warm mess started to spread in her pampers, and when it started, there was nothing she could do against it.  She felt even smaller as she quickly pushed until her belly relaxed.  “Pauline ... Pauline, I think Lila needs your help.” Mia had noticed what had just happened. Her teacher rushed to them and bent over the little girl, noticing the light scent of poop.  “Alex and Marlene are in charge while I am away. Lila, come, I will help you.” She immediately realized what had happened and did not want to make the situation more humiliating than necessary. With quick steps, she was carrying her to the changing table in the restroom.  Her student finally calmed down when her teacher put her on the soft, colorful padding. But her arms were attached to her teacher, who had just rescued her from her dilemma. And she did not want to let her go. “I need to clean you up, you will feel much better in a minute,” Pauline promised her.  Slowly, her tense muscles relaxed a little bit, and she was able to lie down. With careful and professional hands, she cleaned the little girl's bum. Meanwhile, as her stress ebbed off, she realized how soft and even kind of loving her new teacher was to her.  “You will not be bullied for what happened to you”, her teacher assured her as she saw the fire of fear in her eyes. “Everyone is allowed to feel safe here.”  Wordlessly, she agreed without being too convinced about it.  “And you know you are not the first child with diapers that I had in class.”  Her questioning eyes were fixed on her teacher. Who else needs diapers? She wondered, but Pauline did not continue. She would not even if she would ask with words.  Indeed, she never would because it was a secret she kept. Just as she would never tell anyone about her potty needs.  “Are you ok?” she finally asked her as the poopy smell was all gone and Lila was dressed again in her dungarees and her shirt. Lila nodded and cuddled back on the adult who helped her out. She wanted to thank her for her rescue, but instead of thanks, she just hugged her and gave her a childlike kiss on her teacher's cheek. “You want to go back to your drawing?” she asked her little girl.  Lila was pretty sure everyone would be laughing at her for having a poopy accident in class, and she still was kind of petrified by her fear.  Pauline took her by the hand. “Everything will be fine,” she promised.  When they entered the classroom again, she felt quite doubtful about how her classmates would react. But there was just Marlene who was helping some of the younger ones who could not wait for their teacher's return, while the rest of the class was strangely silent.  “Do you feel better?” Mia cared for her as she sat next to her.  Lila just hugged her instead of using her words. “You see, it is ok if you need help as a child,” she assured the teenage friend.  Lila nodded when suddenly the bell rang and ended the lesson. ===================================================== As always, I want to encourage you to write a comment about that. So how did you like Paulin's reaction to Lila's mischief? Do you think that is realistic for a teacher to react that way?  Also, I work on the plot and the first chapters of the next sequel. If someone from the regular readers who write comments were interested in getting involved. I would love to have someone with whom to discuss the ideas of the upcoming sequel. If you want to and you have commented in the past you can PN me. 
    • 80. My Christmas Morning “But you said it was an infection,” Trish Naylor asked, after a pause long enough that I was starting to wonder if she was still there. “If it’s lasted more than a few weeks she should see a doctor, and–” “No, it was better. But since then, I think…” I paused a little then. I needed to finish what I was saying, but I also needed to know that she wasn’t going to share it with her daughter. “Can you promise this doesn’t go any further? I want to set your mind at rest, I can tell you’re worrying as much as I was. But I swore I wouldn’t tell a soul, and you know Tess. She’d put herself through hell if she realised you heard about this, after she’s been trying to convince you she’s mature for so long.” “Of course! Her happiness is my only concern. How can it be okay, if she’s still… you know?” “She was better. But it still happens occasionally. She won’t see a doctor about it, she says she’ll handle it herself if I ask. But if I help her, treat her like a child just for an hour or two, she’s happy to accept it. I think… I’ve asked Ffrances for her professional opinion, and she says it’s better not to make it a big psychology thing. But she hasn’t disagreed.” “With what?” I could tell she was impatient now; I’d put it off for long enough. “I noticed that now, it’s usually when she has a big test at school, or when the bully’s been picking on her –” I heard a brief gasp there, and interrupted my stream of thought for a moment. “She mentioned a girl called Mindy, I don’t know the details. But I know she’s got friends who have her back. But it’s those times. When she’s stressed about something. Or if she’s been doing really well, but you can see the cracks start to show because she’s setting such high standards for herself. The times when she might want to take a break and just be pampered for a couple of hours, if she’d allow herself to admit weakness.” “You think she’s faking?” “No. Well, probably not. I think she can’t bring herself to admit she wants to be treated like a child, after so long demanding the opposite. But she knows on some level that if something happens, and it’s not something she can control, then she doesn’t have a choice. It’s no reflection on her, it’s just something that happened, and she doesn’t fight being treated like a kid when it does. I don’t know about the cause… I know she’s been taking sleeping pills occasionally, and I’m pretty sure she discussed it with the doctor first. Not waking up when she should might be… or maybe it’s even lack of sleep, or stress itself, that’s causing the problem. But she doesn’t want to see a doctor again, and she’s always happy to be treated like a baby. I did wonder if it might be a subconscious signal, showing us that she wants to be a child even if she can’t admit it to herself. Or just a side-effect of the pills, and she’s found the silver lining. There’s no way to know whether it’s deliberate on some subconscious level, but I wouldn’t stick my nose into something that’s clearly helping. Better to just… well, roll with it, I guess. Until she’s confident enough to admit what she really wants, or until she doesn’t need it anymore.” “I guess,” she murmured, but I could tell she wasn’t quite so confident that she understood the situation. “But does she want us to, like, talk down to her like a child?” “I wouldn’t think so. There’s no way she would expect you to follow the same pattern. Which confirms to me that it’s not something she’s consciously choosing. You said she’s in the shower, right? Is it morning there? I’d say that by the time she’s ready for the day, she’ll only be embarrassed about it. Best not to mention it, you don’t want her to feel like she’s being judged. But if it happens again, you could try treating her like a child and see if she responds positively. Just for an hour or so.” “That seems reasonable. But I’m hoping it wouldn’t happen again. It could just be a coincidence, while we were up later than usual last night.” “I hope so. But it’s something to consider. I wouldn’t push her, not at Christmas, but if she’s enthusiastic about a little break from responsibility, I think it could be healthy for her.” We closed out the pleasantries, and I begged Trish again not to tell her daughter that she had phoned me. I needed Tess’s trust, I told her, because there was no way she could accept support with her repressed childish side if she thought I had shared her secret. And that much was true; I was sure she could hear the worry in my voice. After a few minutes she hung up, and I smiled just a little. It was late now, but I couldn’t go to bed right away. I was messing up my own sleep cycle, but I knew I could get it back in order after a couple of days. I pulled up a comedy show on TV, and waited with the smell of hot coffee wafting through from the machine in the corner. It was about half an hour before my phone chirped. Tess, of course. She started out with small talk, asking if we had any plans for today. She was better than I was at keeping track of time zones; I guess she’d had a lot more experience of her friends being in a different part of the world each time she moved. But perhaps she wasn’t used to being on the other side; or assumed that my being online meant it wasn’t nearly four in the morning here. I answered, told her a little about Tess’s volunteering. It was frustrating typing so much on my phone, and I let myself slip into what the kids these days were calling “text speak”. I still hadn’t gotten XV to work on my computer, so I could only type at the speeds an on-screen keyboard would allow. She denied having an accident when I subtly raised the subject. I didn’t know if she was just shy, or was testing to see if Trish and John had actually contacted me. I didn’t know what they would have told her, either, so I didn’t say anything. My best guess was that Trish would follow my last advice and say nothing; so even if Tees knew they’d called, she would assume I hadn’t heard what happened. Or that I’d respected her privacy and told them to let her deal with it herself. Well, that wouldn’t be a problem. I asked her if she wanted some help; she hadn’t asked me for a trigger in quite some time, so I suggested that it might be a good idea to help her stay dry. There was one setback I had never expected: She said she didn’t think it would work over an online messenger, and expressed disbelief that I could trigger her without actually being there. That confirmed for me that she really didn’t know we had already tried it; the amnesia part of Ffrances’s suggestions was close to perfect.  If she’d just told me that she didn’t remember, I would have been sceptical. But doubting such a fundamental part of the process, as if we’d never had this conversation before? I didn’t think Tess had that much deception in her. I told her again that messages could work if she thought of them when she imagined being told something, and suggested that we could try it. There was some pause, but she agreed. And then I did my best to help her avoid embarrassment with her family. “You must not have an accident tonight.” I typed, proofreading the single line a dozen times to ensure there were no mistaked, and there was no way it could be misunderstood. And a second later, with the message set to delete itself from her history after five minuted, I added: “But instead you’ll be surprised to have an accident tomorrow night after getting ready for bed, like a little baby.” “Thanks,” her response was a single word, and I was sure that she would follow my instructions to the letter. I only hoped that she was smart enough to take precautions, so that she wouldn’t end up embarrassing herself. I really didn’t want her parents to learn how much of a baby she wanted to be, but there was only so much I could do to help her if she wasn’t going to help herself. When it became clear that she was no longer paying attention to her phone, I plugged mine in to charge and headed off to bed.
    • My favourite wipe (which pretty much ticks your wish list; apart from a plastic box) are the wipes from NappiesRus. They smell great, are a big size too! 
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