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  1. Critiques and Writer's Discussion

    For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.

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    Area for Finished Stories. Message Elfy to have your story moved here.

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    For Pictures, Comics and Anything Else Artistic.

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    For any story that uses AI in any significant fashion. See rules inside if you have used AI to decide if your story belongs here.

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    • 25. My Less-Serious Side We were still buzzing with excitement when I eventually made my excuses and led my family away from the party. It was barely afternoon, but the buffet on offer hadn’t been much of a lunch. There were a lot of people walking the streets now, shoppers and people on their way to meet up with friends. I wondered if any of them would take notice of three people dressed up in such elaborate outfits at this time of day, but I didn’t really care. We were happy, and I had decided that we were going to go somewhere nice for lunch before the long drive home. “Feels like it should be supper time,” Ffrances speculated. “Long day at work, and then a theatre trip. Almost bedtime for me, I keep double checking the sky, like my body’s wondering why the sun is still up.” “The MC guy said we’re watching it at the same time as the execs around the world,” I said, hoping that I’d understood that part of the speech correctly. “Different people, doing different jobs for Claughton. And the people who were actually involved in making this happen. Some bright spark in their head office probably thought it would make the company feel more like a family or something. Like we’re all in it together.” “And then the superstars get their own premiere in a week and a half,” Tess added with a giggle. “Before the rest of the world, and all the paparazzi turning out to talk about how glamorous they all are. We got in first, and nobody makes a big deal about that.” I could only nod to that. So much media work was all about what people thought, and what people knew. The facts were one of the first casualties in a good campaign, and I often wished I could go back to believing the things that people said occasionally. But that was a luxury I could only have with my family; I had learned too much to take the rest of the world at face value. “What do you want for lunch?” I asked, as we got back to the car. “We can go anywhere, my treat. Fancy French place? There’s a Russian place with a balcony that’s supposed to be really good, overlooking the town centre. Take your pick. Or we–” “You did the entertainment,” Ffrances interrupted me, a finger on my lips. “I’m covering lunch. No arguments, pet. We can go somewhere around here, or a few miles out of town, but I don’t want to go too far out of our way. Whatever you feel like. Trust me, I feel like I owe you now.” “I can go for anything,” I shrugged. “I don’t know what there is round here, but I’m sure there’s one of everything. Italian place, maybe? Like, a decent, high-class one that isn’t just a dozen different types of red sauce with different pasta shapes. Or…” I paused, seeing a momentary smirk on Tess’s face, “or I see a smile there, and I want to know what’s behind it. You got an idea to share?” “No, just… when you said ‘anything’, I just imagined us going into somewhere like a cheap burger place, and everyone staring at the outfits. You got to admit, it’s a funny image even if it isn’t such a good idea.” I found myself laughing, and I had to agree. With these clothes, we looked like we should be spending three figures on a meal, but the mental image she had given me was just so absurd. “Well, if you want to…” We couldn’t shake the silly mood once it had arrived. And although we weren’t particularly in the mood for burgers, there were plenty of alternatives that would have been just as effective on the funny side. Ffrances said she could think of somewhere perfect, where they had apparently come for a friend’s hen night when she was last working around here. We left the car where it was and walked down the high street, before we found a door with peeling green paint, beside a giant hand-painted sign that declared it to be the entrance to McRory’s Bar and Steak Pit. It was everything we could have hoped for. The staff were polite and respectful, and their curiosity was sated as soon as they discovered that we wanted food and had money. The other patrons regarded us with curiosity, but it seemed to be the kind of place where everybody would try hard to look disinterested in other people’s business. We saw plenty of people studiously paying no attention, while the few kids there with their grandparents gave gleeful smiles. I decided that I was hungry, and ordered a mixed grill. Ffrances satisfied herself with a garlic bread; which probably made sense given that her body clock must have been running close to midnight at that point. And Tess dithered over the huge faux-chalkboard menu printed on the walls for several minutes before settling on a rib platter. The food, when it came, was exactly what the decor of the place had led us to expect: classic, healthy food. If by ‘healthy’ you meant it contained enough nutrients to keep a foundry worker going through a double shift, and probably no trace of artificial additives in a recipe that could have been popular for centuries. Tess took a bathroom break in the middle of the meal, and was away long enough that I guessed she was talking to her friends on her phone. Then I realised that I hadn’t even asked about her previous plans. She might have been going to spend the day with some of her friends from school, and in that case I didn’t want to stop her catching up with them later. “Think she’s okay?” Ffrances asked. “In what way?” “She seems like she’s perpetually worrying about something. A mound of little worries she can’t get over, but small enough that they all vanish from her mind when she’s really caught up in something. The movie was good for her, but it didn’t last. As soon as we got back to the car, she was starting to get nervous. I wish she’d open up and ask for help.” “Will you help her if she does?” “If I can. If it’s not something she needs professional advice on. And speaking of that… you got those clothes out of the spare room for her, right?” “Yeah. Why?” “Well, ask her later if she wants to keep them in her closet. I’m pretty sure she’ll say no. But leave putting them away until I’m not asleep, if that’s okay? You know, you said about that photo?” I nodded, and that was all she needed to continue: “Well, the best time for me to find it would be when I’ve got a reason to be going through all the boxes in the spare room. Putting away these fancy dresses that she won’t have an excuse to wear for six months seems like a good excuse. Seems more natural, and it’ll be easier for her to say what she really feels if it feels like it’s developed naturally out of an event she already enjoyed.” “Right,” I nodded. “But I can tell how tired you are. You need to get to sleep soon. So if she doesn’t want to hang on to them I’ll hang them outside her room or something, to sort out later. Then it’s down to you when we deal with it. And… my love?” “Mmmhmm?” “Thank you. I really appreciate that you can put so much thought into helping her to find what she wants. And…  it’s not entirely altruistic. I can’t deny, I love the idea of us being able to care for her like a real little, being exactly the guardians she needs, and making sure everything is perfect for her. I’ve wanted to meet a little for so long, and I never would have imagined it could turn out like this.” I really meant it, every word. 26. My Perfect Day When Tess rejoined us it was a quick rush back to the car, laughing on the inside at all the heads we turned along the way. I drove, which was a good choice because Ffrances was asleep before we even crossed the ring road. I thought to ask Tess if she wanted to be dropped off in Greater Ashfields or Raybridge before heading home, and she smiled like it was a pleasant surprise. She’d been messaging her friends, I was right, and they were all in town right now. They were going to watch another movie in the evening, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go, but I told her that I really didn’t mind. I was stuffed, so tonight’s dinner would probably be something like a big platter of nachos to share in any case, and as long as I knew she was okay it would be no problem if she changed her mind at the last minute. I dropped her off near the Ashfields Community Sports Centre, and headed home to put my girlfriend to bed. She hadn’t woken up at all on the way back, so I tried to carry her inside without waking her. But it seemed that was a little way beyond my abilities, and she woke up enough to lean on my arm, mumbling sleepily as I guided her up the stairs to our bedroom. I still had to check on the washing machine; where Tess’s sheets were sporadically spinning. I thought long and hard about that. I didn’t want to make her feel like I had invaded her privacy, or that I knew why she’d been washing them. She had tried so hard not to tell me, and it seemed only fair not to mention it after we’d had such a great morning together as a family. I closed the door in front of the machine, and did my best to pretend that I hadn’t  noticed it. The programme had already ended, so it wasn’t that likely I would have heard occasional sporadic rotations to make sure air got to the sheets as they waited. There were other things for me to do through the day, but eventually I changed back to more comfortable clothes and settled down in front of the TV to switch my mind off for a while. * * * When Tess finally arrived home, she seemed happier than ever. She had spent time with her friends, and it seemed that the whole day had been just what the doctor ordered for her. Good time spent with her friends, and good times with her family. She found me watching a TV show called Shaaark!, which she might have recognised from a few years before. The kid-friendly version of Cerberus Shark presented here was so very, very different from the incarnation in the latest movie; I could barely connect the dots between them, but there were occasional choices of phrase that made me believe that they were different versions of the same character. Still filled with the leftover excitement from the morning, Tess was happy to join me for watching this one. And after a couple of episodes, the urge to watch just one more was becoming as powerful as it had been with Captain Kairo. We talked some more; speculating about the things we didn’t know about the character; and I think we both knew that we would be asking Ffrances to teach us a little bit more about the characters that we didn’t yet know. It was nearly three episodes in that I realised she had changed her clothes. She’d come home not wearing the fancy outfit I had offered her, but a simple T-shirt and beach shorts. She admitted that quickly enough; that she’d had a change of clothes in her handbag the whole time, carefully chosen to pack up as small as possible. She’d changed five minutes after I dropped her off, because the formal outfit still seemed a little too childish for her tastes. She hadn’t wanted anyone to see her like that. “You’re more mature than me,” I joked. “I would never have thought of that. Wouldn’t know where to find a place to change in town. I do hope you’re not pushing yourself too hard for the responsibility thing.” She smiled, and that was about all she had to say. As much as I knew she would have been cuter as the little girl she secretly wanted to be, I was really proud of her ability to impress a group of influential people, some of whom I might be working with in the near future. So I didn’t say anything more about making her a baby, or anything else that could have made her feel guilty. We passed the rest of the evening without saying anything serious at all. When it came to bedtime, I wasn’t sure whether I needed to worry about Tess or not. But in the end, I realised that she had been bright-eyed that morning, wide awake as soon as I saw her. That was an attitude I wanted to see more of, and I knew that she would be just as happy tomorrow if I could guarantee her a full night of uninterrupted sleep. It wouldn’t be fair for her to miss out on it now, once she’d started depending on my help to get sufficient rest. That evening was to be the last decent slice of quality time we could have for quite a while. I knew now that Claughton considered themselves patrons of the arts, and that they cared a great deal about what the public thought of them. But over the next week or so, I started to realise that even outside contractors needed to be driven and focused in order to earn the approval of their higher-ups. I needed to be thinking about work even when I wasn’t working; and the contract was more involved than most. Perhaps it was because it was the first time I’d taken the lead on a project with such a large client, or perhaps it was because I really loved my work, and found it easy to get wrapped up in it when the project was an interesting one. But I soon found myself thinking about almost nothing but the job. It was always good to come home and see my baby girl trying so hard to pretend she was an adult. I loved to see her smile when I did something to make her happy; like trying a new meal, or any little treat. And I loved the time I could spend with Ffrances and Tess, jumping in head first to a set of comics I’d never even heard of a month before. Ffrances was the best teacher I could imagine; and it was easy to remember the days when we’d first met. I was starting to get into the stories as well. But somewhere in the back of my mind, as I enjoyed all of those moments, I was aware that there was something missing. Tess was supposed to be taking steps back towards being a baby, not tentatively reaching for adulthood. I wanted to make sure she got what she really wanted before it was too late, but I could never find the right time. It certainly didn’t seem right to interrupt when she was helping me to study something that would make such a difference to my job, and that we were both starting to enjoy as well. So I put it off until the next day, and then the next. Day by day, I was just waiting for something to happen that would give me a reason to bring it up. Or for Tess to ask for help, or give me a sign that she was ready to be a real baby.
    • You lost me with the laptop. They didn’t have them in the early 70s and the first one was invented in 1987 and they were big and bulky then. Did you forget Betsy and him were small kids in the early 60s? 
    • thanks for comeback . i  guess what i want know is what is the point of not wearing at  work by the tharpist ?  to stop  like i  am  a drinker or smoker , to stop before i get fired or  made fun of for rest of my life.  
    • Very similar to most of my posts. I woke up with a wet Vivo diaper and "I Can't Believe It's Not Gerber" plastic pants from Protex and no leaks in my plastic pants. I was in the kitchen again, checking emails on my phone and getting coffee. I had to respond to a rather complex email and while concentrating on the content of the email, I relaxed and messed my diaper. The emotional and physical catharsis of relaxing and feeling warm poopie fill my diapie made me shiver with a wave of pleasure. The paradoxical dialectic of replying to a complex email and going potty in my diaper at the same time was amusing; if the recipient only knew! Now I am sitting here sipping hot coffee while I feel the poopie load squish warmly and soothingly in my diaper nestled against my perineum. No leaks, no diaper blow-out, all is good on "Messy Monday Morning." I will wear a diaper to work, discreetly under my adult clothes, and I'll wet my diaper during the day, but no messies around colleagues. I will choose a Classico v2 diaper for work; in the mood for a nice printed plastic back diaper. I can be wet for most of the day with strategically planned intermittent small to moderate wettings. I also remain odor free, in fact, very pleasant smelling with 3-4 drops of Baby Powder Scented Oil from Health & Beauty in my diaper and of course Baby Magic Baby Lotion on my diaper area, and J&J Baby Powder sprinkled inside my diaper...I just got up to get more coffee and feeling the warm, firm potty in my diaper, now a somewhat flattened and squishy, jiggle inside my diaper as I walked back to the kitchen made me shiver again with pure innocent pleasure. Cleaning up is easy for me, and just takes a few minutes, I have cleaning up after a dirty diaper down to a science.
    • Tony and Amy both proud to hear this as they couldn't wait to get to meet me and spend time with me. Tony smiles as he says "this is wonderful to hear that both of you are doing well and i can see how happy you are to be able to experience motherhood and you know we are both here to help with anything at all".
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