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AN HOMAGE TO VINCENT VEGA, SEASON THREE, SCENE 104: IT'S VEGAS, BABY, PART 3 (final part) 1 2 3 4 49
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By Kitty Angel · Posted
16. Doctor’s Orders “Do you think that this… infantile behaviour is healthy?” I thought about that question for a long time. It was a change of pace, because the questions he’d asked in the last few weeks had almost always had easy answers. It reminded me of the days when I had first started therapy, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. Maybe my hesitation meant that I was happy with my life now, but we were zeroing in on the one area that was giving me problems. “You’re the psychologist,” I said at last. “You tell me.” “I’ve had some experience with clients who explore this style of relationship,” Dr Lentz said. “I know about the different things it can mean. Sometimes it can be a maladaptive coping mechanism, or a way to suppress deeper issues that need to be dealt with. Often it’s a healthy way to step away from the stresses of adult life, especially for those in high-pressure careers. It can be many different things, from a professional perspective. But I’m asking you. Not about our current understanding of human psychology, but about whether it seems healthy to you. Does it make you worry about your friend?” “I don’t know,” I said again, with a shrug. “She says it works for her. That she knows how to do it safely, and she’s seen her own therapist about some of the things behind it. I guess that means that she knows what she’s doing. I want to say that means it’s safe. I mean, I feel like I should be worried about her. Even if this is good for her, I wouldn’t like to think about what her coworkers would think if they found out. It could turn into a real problem. But even if I want to look out for her, when we’re together it’s so easy to start thinking of her like this sweet little kid, and then it doesn’t feel strange at all. It’s like the fantasy becomes real. As much as I think I should worry, somehow I don’t.” “In this case, I think it might be wise to trust your instincts,” he said. “I can’t say anything, but your friend – Lily, was it? – It sounds like you really care for her. And only the two of you can decide what works between you. I would advise you to be cautious, but don’t judge her for what makes her feel good, and I expect you will both do well.” “It’ll be strange though,” I murmured, suddenly finding that I could actually put into words the one thing that had really been worrying me. “I mean… I’m keeping a big secret for her. And there’s nobody I can share it with.” I couldn’t even share it with my therapist. I’d told him a little bit about how Carter wanted to be a kid again, but I’d only told him the baby name; Lily. I hadn’t mentioned where I met her, or how our friendship had been complicated by work issues. I knew that everything I said was confidential here, but I still wouldn’t risk outing her without her approval. “There are people you can trust,” he said. “Make friends, and I’m sure you will learn who. Now, there is a limit to what I can say because of confidentiality. But there is a… Let us say a community of people who have similar interests, and who have often been forced to make friends on the Internet in order to find others who share their interests. It is one reason that people with unusual relationship goals have more easily been able to satisfy them since the rise of modern social media. But… I think I can share this much. This particular relationship dynamic is not uncommon here. It is more common among people with high-pressure jobs who seek an opportunity to escape from their stress. And for several years, there have been a small group of executives within SYL who make sure to share job opportunities in their departments with people in those communities. Of course, such people still need to pass the usual aptitude tests, but they slant slightly towards more capable and driven mindsets; and making a greater proportion of applicants means that they will also form a greater share of employees than in the general population. People with similar extracurricular interests often come to each other when forming project teams, and… Well, it’s not like anyone could work here if they weren’t capable. But trust me, people like your friend are probably a larger minority here than they are anywhere else in the world.” “Still,” I said. “If the people in her office found out…” “Some of them would only show support,” he said. “Most would be tolerant. And if anyone lets their lack of understanding interfere with the professional environment, they would do well to remember the inclusivity and tolerance clauses in your company’s contracts. Of course, it would be polite to avoid drawing the attention of strangers to something they might not understand. But here, a lot of people have secrets, and many of them have the same secret. I can honestly say that you could trust almost anyone in your office with a secret like this. And if someone were to make it a problem, you should expect support from the majority of your colleagues, and from management.” I nodded slowly. I wanted to ask how he could be so sure, but then I remembered that his clients were all SYL employees. And he had said that he had several clients who were into this age regression thing. So… there were a lot of people in Upper Ashfields with odd kinks or whatever, so they would be supportive of Carter’s preferences. And there were even a significant number who did exactly the same thing. I didn’t need to worry, but that didn’t really make it any easier. “Thank you,” I said. “Do you know how to access these… communities?” “Not the one that would interest you,” he said with a laugh. “My own method of relaxation is somewhat less common. But I can assure you, they are out there. And you will find them if you keep on making friends in your social circle. Perhaps Lily knows some others already?” I thought about that. He was probably right. In my mind, I’d thought of this like some weird fetish thing that nobody would understand. But Carter already knew more about what she wanted, and although she was shy I knew that she didn’t have any of these questions bothering her. So there was a good chance that she already knew about other people who were into the same stuff. That raised the question of why she didn’t have someone who understood this stuff acting as her Daddy; but I couldn’t even begin to answer that. All I could do was be grateful that she had chosen to trust me. And maybe she did have a Daddy already; could I be sure that I was the only one? I decided not to even think about this. What we had wasn’t like a relationship, despite all the vulnerability she was showing me. It meant that she trusted me completely, and that was more important than any demand of exclusivity. I could ask her if there were others who babied her, but I had to acknowledge that if she didn’t want to say, it was none of my business. It was too easy to start thinking, just because we had something unusual between us, that it constituted a relationship, but I didn’t want to let those subconscious impulses poison what trust my friend had in me. I took a deep breath, and thanked Dr Lentz. Really, I felt that I didn’t need his support as much as I once had; my life was going well now. My career was moving forward now, and I’d managed to organise a games night with some of my new colleagues earlier in the week as well. We would be going to Simon’s flat to play the video games that we all remembered fondly from when we’d been in high school; Pursuit Racer 911, Kings of Abyssinia, Legacy of Force=Tyrant and all the others that we still saw as classics. I had a social life now, a promising career ahead of me, and… I didn’t really know what I had with Belle Carter, but I knew that it was good for me. We talked a little longer, but I thought I could sense that the therapist was happy with my progress; he could offer some advice, and he suggested that reinventing myself might help me to feel more free from people’s expectations, but I knew that he wasn’t going to set me homework again. I didn’t need it at this point. Somehow, without even noticing it, my interactions with the people around me had become more positive. And even if I was worried about what other people would think about me and Carter, I knew that it was good for me. Whatever it was. I jogged home, and then looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a Franklin’s Muse tee again; somehow those two had ended up being worn more than any others in the last month. Somehow, a wonderful and charming woman commenting on it had given that particular design a little positive association in my mind, like it was somehow lucky. I smiled, and thought about the patches of sweat under my arms; my hair looking like I’d been dragged through a hedge, and the time it would take me to get it straight again. And then I thought about the psychiatrist saying that perhaps it was time to reinvent myself. This outfit looked like I was trying desperately to hang onto my teens, resisting a world that told me to grow up. I knew that a suit looked out-of-place on me, but maybe that was just because it was unfamiliar. Would it make more sense to stick to what I was familiar with, or to try out different styles? I didn’t know what would be best then. But maybe now I was seeing myself differently, it would be good to show the world a different face as well. Nobody looked naturally good in a suit, but some people could really rock the image. And, the thought lurking at the back of my mind that I wasn’t quite sure how to address: Would I be a better Daddy if I dressed the part? Of course I wasn’t thinking about changing my whole style just for Carter, but once the thought was already on my mind, it was clear that it wouldn’t go away. Maybe I should try looking more like a successful young professional, and less like a rebellious teenager. I could always go back if it didn’t work. I turned away from the mirror, realising that there was nothing to be gained by continuing to think it through any more than that. I made dinner, and then while I waited for it to cook I looked through my wardrobe to see just how much variety was in there. Did I have enough different clothes to pull off ‘mature and responsible’? Probably not. I ate my dinner, and then sat down in front of the computer to check on my personal emails. There weren’t that many; I might be starting to make friends, but they were mostly people I saw in the office, so any messages they sent me would have been dealt with before I got home. I was mostly just passing time until I was ready for bed. And then I looked on FetishLibrary, and saw that I had a new story recommended to me. Still in draft. Carter had sent me an invitation-to-review, which meant that I could take a look over her work before it was ready to share with the public. I felt terribly underqualified for that responsibility, but I couldn’t wait to see what she had written. So I called up the first chapter of Werebabies, and started to read. -
By Kitty Angel · Posted
132. Family “Will you marry me?” The question hung in the air, and Ffrances couldn’t do anything but stare at the ring. Tess was breathless now. She’d known that Gabby had somehow got the comic early, but this was still a complete surprise. A tiny part of her brain was spinning away like a hamster wheel, trying to work out how Gabby could possibly have made that happen. It must have taken so much work, even given all her industry contacts. This wasn’t like somebody connected with the movie; this had to have been Kernigan himself, the author and artist behind comics that were loved by millions. And a man who it was legendarily difficult to get to see. His fans didn’t even know what he looked like. But that was all just a sideshow. The main question now was how long Gabby had been planning this; and how long marriage had been on her mind. What Ffrances would say to it, and how it would change their life at home. Because Tess knew that she really did regard this place as home now, and she had no idea if she could still keep on living with them if Ffrances moved in with Gabby, or if they would want a place of their own to start married life. It was a crazy way to think, because she knew that both of them cared about her a lot. But Tess couldn’t help worrying about her own plans for the day now. She had been confident in moving Spike in, knowing that if Gabby went ballistic they could always flee to Ffrances’s house in Pine Ridge; it was like having a back-up family in case everything went wrong. But now she didn’t know if that safety net would still be there. Or if the need for it might get in the way of the two women’s relationship. Could she even imagine them getting married, when Ffrances didn’t quite seem to trust her girlfriend in so many things? “How did you even…” Ffrances gasped, still staring at the ring, and back to the page, and then at Gabby again. “I mean… MK makes it so hard to get in touch with him, he doesn’t accept personal messages. And even once you found him, how would you persuade him…” “He’s a romantic,” Gabby answered. “I told him what I had in mind, and he was happy to help. He likes you, you know? And he likes me a little, based on the things you’ve said about me on those message boards. He wants you to be happy. And that’s a big thing. You’ve got a whole community around you, all these people who want to help you. And that’s what I want to be a part of. Not just… us. But us as a family, surrounded by a whole community. I think I grew up now, and I hope I can offer you something… less selfish than the person I was when we first met.” “MK was at that conference in Upper Ashfields, right?” Spike guessed. ”The one that’s totally not confirmed to be auditions for Tags 2. And Gabby brought him to Isaac’s game night so he could check with your friends that this was a good idea.” “What?” Tess and Ffrances gasped together. “At the…” “Frank told me he was there. He was mad that Isaac didn’t tell him who this pseudonymous stranger was.” “I didn’t hear about that!” Ffrances gasped. “I know Gabby has been trying to make friends, and I appreciate that, but… MK? How did nobody tell me?” “Isaac and Harlem figured it out,” Spike explained. “I overheard Isaac telling Frank when I was getting Nik something. I think nobody else knows, and they said not to tell you because MK’s setting up a surprise. I never thought it would be…” “Wow. Just… You really thought so hard about this. Didn’t you?” “I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted everything to be perfect for you. For us. So… will you marry me?” “You know nothing would make me happier!” Ffrances said, when she found her voice again. And just as Gabby started to grin, she added: “But…” “But?” “But it’s not just about us. We’ve got a family now, even if it’s not in the traditional way, and we have to think about what’s best for the kids too. I don’t want to do anything that would cause more tension here. You understand?” “Don’t worry about us,” Tess reassured her, and found that she was really hoping Ffrances would be able to say yes. It was amazing to see how happy she was now, and Tess wanted to believe that this could really go as well as they were all imagining. And at the same time, in the back of her mind she picked up on the word Ffrances had used. ‘Kids’. There was no way that Gabby could have missed that, and she must be seeing it as a kind of restriction. Spike was a part of the family too, even if it was hard to think of him as a child, and it seemed pretty clear that if Gabby objected to that, it could be a deal breaker. “I understand that,” Gabby answered. “Trust me, I’ve been thinking about that more than anything. I know that Tess has travelled all over the world, moving home every year or so, and I know that must have made things hard for her. So while it comes to the end of her schooling, I’ll do everything I can to ensure she has a stable family here to support her. That’s a big part of… Of what made me realise I want this. How I want us to be a real family, who can trust and support each other without hesitation. You see? And I promise, whatever you say today, I will do whatever I can to make sure she’s comfortable. And that means learning to understand what she really wants. And I guess the hardest part of parenting too: seeing your baby grow up and deal with things herself. I don’t know if I’ll cope well with seeing her make choices I disagree with, but I know that’s something every family has sooner or later. And I’ll try not to screw it up.” When she stopped talking, she was just staring into space, and it seemed she was exhausted by all the emotion. Tess couldn’t begin to imagine how important this was to her, and how much she had invested in this plan. This was everything she had ever wanted, and it seemed like she really was trying to get over the worst parts of her own instincts. Her fingers were knotted in front of her, knuckles white as she gripped her own hands so tightly together. She was scared too, but also excited. And everyone was on the edge of their seats as they waited to see what Ffrances was going to say. “Before I answer,” Ffrances said, “please tell me one thing. Say that you remember the promise you made earlier this week, and that you’re still planning to keep it.” “You can trust me,” Gabby answered quickly, and then stared down at her own fingers on the tabletop, and it was clear that she was composing her own thoughts. They waited patiently to see what she was going to say next. “You can trust me, even when it doesn’t seem like it. I screwed up today. I didn’t want to tell you what Tess had asked for, because I didn’t want to ruin the big day. I was going to tell you, I promise I was. I was just procrastinating, because the thought of having a man in the house still scares me. Putting it off so I could pretend it wasn’t such a big deal, I guess. I should have asked you, like I promised Tess I would. And I’ll try to do better. I’m not perfect, but I’ll try.” “Then let’s ask these two. They are a part of our household. Our family. And they should have a chance to make their worries known. Tess? Spike? Would you be uncomfortable staying here if me and Gabby were planning to get married? Would you be okay in a house that’s turning into a nuclear family? I know you both would be somewhere between family and guests, and we would have to think about all the details of that and see what feels natural, but I don’t want you to feel like we’re pulling the rug from under you.” “I uhh…” Spike answered first. “I want you to be happy. I don’t know how things usually work around here, but…” “We’re fine,” Tess picked up as his voice trailed off into uncertainty. “We trust you completely. And if we could be like a real family, that would be amazing. I think we would both love that. I mean, we don’t know how it will work out. But you’ve both tried so hard to make me comfortable. And you should totally do whatever makes you happy. We won’t have a problem with that, I promise. Whatever the social dynamic here ends up being.” “Then I have no hesitation,” Ffrances spoke up before Gabby could answer that. “Yes, Gabby. I want us to be a real family, and build a future together. And as long as that’s what you want too, I know that this is going to be wonderful. Yes. Thank you so much. I love you.” Ffrances and Gabby were both jumping up from their seats and moving towards each other so they could kiss. Tess knew that it was a perfect, romantic moment; and was quite surprised to find that her first instinct was to reach out and hold the comic book in place, so that the jostling of the table didn’t risk creasing the pages. But she wasn’t quite surprised to find Spike’s hand on top of hers, reaching out with the same thought at the same moment. His hand rested gently on hers, and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. And unlike their first, accidental contact at the cinema a couple of months before, neither of them saw any reason to move apart now. While the adults focused entirely on each other, Tess and Spike turned their heads to share a nervous glance, and a smile. It looked like after all the drama and challenges of the past year, there was finally going to be a happy ending for everyone. -
Powered by a rotary (aka: "Wankel") internal combustion engine that: Revved so high it sounded like a robot swallowing an angle-grinder mid-flight Drank fuel like a cleveland V8 but lacked cylinders Left the world wondering why The sport coupe body shell on the early ones was also cramped, uncomfortable and baking hot under glass. I've driven one. It was fun anyway. -
An order of Classico v2 and Bellissimo v2 diapers were delivered yesterday. I understand that Bambino has new owners and I can tell you all that they processed my order within 24 hours. Classico v2 diapers are perhaps my favorite plastic back printed diaper. I haven't used a Bellissimo diaper in a long time and don't remember what they were like, all I can tell you is that they are a soft plastic back diaper with a hook and loop fastening system. After I change my morning wet and messy Fluffy Fly diaper, a Bellissimo diaper is ready for the day that will include lunch with friends with my diaper discreetly under my pants. I'm sure that I'll wet my diaper a little at lunch. I think my wife might go as well and may not even know that I have on a Bellissimo v2 diaper. 🤫 -
It's a nice crisp Fall morning with a hot cup of coffee and a wet and now messy Fluffy Fly diaper. Sitting here with a nice firm poopies getting compressed in my diaper against my perineum has caused a momentary shiver to go through my body. Sooo nice and warm, innocent, comfy, naughty, and yes, a little stinky potty emanating from my diaper but I don't mind at all. I have no plans to change right away and in fact I am going to go out for an early morning jog in my wet and poopie diaper, under sweat pants of course and a sweat short. Feeling my potty jiggle in my diaper when I run is a unique experience. When back home I'll change and clean up which fortunately I don't mind at all. I have cleaning up after a messy diaper down to a science that only takes my five minutes. My next diaper that is already out and ready is a Bambinio Bellissimo v2 diaper delivered just yesterday. I am meeting friends for lunch at noon and I will have on my Bellissimo diaper discreetly under my clothes, and I'm sure that I'll wet my diaper. I haven't used a Bellissimo diaper in a long time and don't remember what they are like. All I can tell you now is that they are plastic back, cute print, and hook and loop tape system. I just got up to get more coffee and feeling potty in my diaper as I walked into the kitchen was exhilarating.
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