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By astrodiaper · Posted
Running late for the win. My stomach is giving me trouble like it's Monday. -
By astrodiaper · Posted
I think I saw $4.16 at the corner truck stop. $4.75 for diesel. 85 seems to be the low in our state. Kind of weird to go east or south 45 minutes to find the low is 87. -
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Great chapter. I wrote an alternative chapter, for fun, where Betsy's mother comes to him in the dead of night for a secret, one time only. night of passion. She had to have it once. Just a little self contained insert chapter that wouldn't impact the rest of the story or future chapters. Anyway it was fun writing, even if it was a bit cliched, but I deleted it once it was done -
By Kitty Angel · Posted
67. Careful Choice “Hey, do you think…” Tess started, and then hesitated. The question was still on her mind, but she knew that Spike didn’t have an answer. And perhaps more importantly, she didn’t want to know. She thought back to the last few minutes, to one of her best friends bailing on going to see a movie with them. She was sure that it had taken longer for Kim to explain what Evan had told her, than for Evan to actually say it. Were their friends trying to set her up with Spike, leaving them alone in the hope that something was more likely to happen then? The whole evening felt like a perfect choreographed dance, and for just a moment Tess had got the impression that someone else’s fingers were pulling the strings. “Think what?” he asked. Tess didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t ask if Kim and Evan thought this was a date without considering the question of whether it was, as well as whether she wanted it to be. Whatever it turned out to be. “Nothing, just my mind wandering.” “Ohh, did it bring back some souvenirs?” “Maybe. But food first, then presents.” Pasta Buffet was a decent place to get dinner, and a popular choice with anyone who was out of the house and wanted to get something to eat in a hurry. It wasn’t what you might call classy or pretentious; a handful of friends could squeeze around a table to get a bowl of pasta or a seriously underrated sharing platter, and bringing someone here for dinner didn’t automatically mean you were extra serious about them. But at the same time it wasn’t tacky; even the complimentary doughballs were pretty nice. They found a booth in the back, out of sight of most of the customers. A member of staff glanced over in their direction; some people still preferred full table service if they were celebrating a special occasion. But Tess already had her phone out, and a menu on the screen. As soon as she scanned the weird barcode thing on the corner of the table, the serving staff lost all interest. Presumably the screens at the counter were able to display some indicator when people at a table were currently ordering, and they knew who wouldn’t want to be disturbed by a personal touch. Two people poking at options on one tiny phone screen couldn’t help bumping shoulders a little, moving just a little closer together. The app probably wasn’t supposed to help make a gathering feel intimate, but it certainly closed the distance between them. In the end they went for a moderately fancy pizza with the new three-cheese braided stuffed crust, a big sharing bowl of crispy chips, and a full selection of 6 dips. The dips were first to arrive, accompanied by the usual bowl of garlic and onion doughballs. That bowl would be topped up at regular intervals until their food was ready, a compensation if anything was taking too long. “Hold on,” Spike said, thinking back for a second. “Don’t you normally have to pay for your food? Like, don’t they ask for money anymore?” “Already did. My card’s saved in the app, so it’s automatic when you press the order button.” “But you can’t be paying for mine. We’re supposed to–” “Spike, you know I have the greatest respect for your sense of chivalry, but there’s no horses present. The person who has most money available can pay. And I’ve got the same allowance as ever from my parents, but it goes straight into my bank account now, so I’m not tempted to buy stupid junk every time I have cash in my hands. Not to mention, it’s harder to go out when you’re on the far side of town from almost everyone. So… my turn.” He opened his mouth, and Tess surprised him into silence by placing a single finger across his lips. It felt good, after the last few weeks, to have a moment where she wasn’t the one blushing like a pressure gauge about to explode. “No arguing. My treat, okay? And speaking of treats… I got you a little something. For your birthday, and for Christmas. Here.” She reached into her bag, and produced a little red fabric pouch, with a pattern that might have been holly leaves. It wasn’t neatly wrapped, but there was some tissue paper crumpled up inside to give it some shape. “You shouldn’t have.” “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad, is it?” “I mean…” Spike tried to find the right words, fishing for a second before he saw that Tess was struggling not to laugh. When he couldn’t contain his giggles, she joined him pretty quickly. Neither of them was really sure what was so funny, but once they started they couldn’t stop. For Tess, that exchange would be on her mind for a few days, memories popping up to torment her when she least expected it. She just couldn’t forget how good it felt to say something unexpected, to keep him off-balance. As much as she liked Spike and wanted him to be happy, there was something about his vulnerable face that just made her want to tease him more. He smiled, and carefully opened the bag. Then he reached inside and fished out the bracelet. He turned it over twice, and turned it around, until he could read the slogan properly. Tess waited, wondering if she had made the right choice, and if he would like it. She’d never been so nervous for any exam, or even when awaiting punishment for some childhood mischief. More than anything now, she wanted to have got this one thing right. “What Would Daddy Do?” he read, and the smile spread to cover his face like the sun breaking through the clouds. “It’s perfect. It’s like, supposed to be a joke, but it fits me so well. I think you noticed by now, I always ask myself that. What can I do to be more like Dad, the way I remember him. Thank you, I love it.” 68. Second Thoughts? Dinner was good. Spike and Tess could have been very lucky, getting their pizza prepared by a staff member with actual culinary experience rather than cooked according to the whims of the timer, and by chance getting precisely the right balance of toppings; or they might just have appreciated it more because they were happy, and the whole world felt richer and full of life. There was no real way to test the difference, and neither of them was paying enough attention to think about it. The film was great as well. It was shown with subtitles, which meant they had to pay a little more attention than they otherwise would have, but that wasn’t such a big deal. At the start, parts of the audience were probably getting frustrated with the samurai who didn’t think he was good enough to ask the lord’s daughter to marry him. But just when Tess was expecting him to disappear in a vortex of infinite angst, one of his friends was shot trying to prevent a robbery. The main guy’s feelings snapped into focus as he gave a speech to his peers. He was the positive one, the one who would never give up. But he could also see that the import of Western firearms would soon bring an end to the age of the sword, and he knew that his job and lifestyle were far from secure. He had real reasons for not wanting to drag the woman he loved into a life of possible poverty. Tess squeezed Spike’s hand in a way that might have meant “He should ask anyway, and give her the choice.” When his head turned towards her, she gave him a quick smile. She wasn’t going to be like the bunch of kids on the front row constantly criticising the show in hushed voices, but she wanted him to know that she was more than happy to be here. Some time before the end, Tess realised that she wasn’t quite sure what was happening on the screen. It was thrilling, and the fight scenes had everyone on the edge of their seats; somehow the director had managed to make guns seem like a strange, exotic new weapon, and the tension ratcheted up every time someone was seen with one. But she wasn’t quite sure who was betraying whom now. Perhaps she’d missed one too many lines, and spent too much time with her eyes on the boy beside her instead of the screen. Was that how it was supposed to be on date night? She hadn’t been on enough to know, but she wondered if it might be better to pick something that didn’t have subtitles next time. ‘Next time.’ Did she dare to think those words, when they hadn’t even said there was a ‘this time’ to speak of? She wanted to see Spike smile, that would tell her that the evening had been worthwhile. And she could turn her head and see him every time she wanted; half the time looking right back at her. And those were the moments when he seemed most excited, if she allowed herself to believe it. One time he started to lean closer, and a nervous smile became slightly more confident. His mouth opened a fraction, like he wanted to say something, or like… something Tess didn’t even want to imagine, in case she scared the fragile idea away. She mirrored the movement, turning towards him so they could properly look at each other. And then he lost his nerve, and pretended he had been leaning over to reach a bucket of popcorn all along. Or perhaps that had been his intent all along, and Tess was just seeing what she wanted to see. There was no way to know, but she pulled her hand away to grab a few pieces for herself and turned her eyes back to the screen. For five minutes, Tess stayed just a little tense, half hoping that Spike would take her hand again. She realised that it had always been her that made contact. Her hand that brushed against his, and held his fingers between her own. Was he just being polite by not rejecting her? Was he tolerating her approach because he didn’t want to hurt his friend? She didn’t want those thoughts, but it was hard to avoid them. She’d known for so long that Spike would give up anything to make her happy; but that the same was true for all his friends. Could he just be a guy who couldn’t say ‘no’? It was easy to get lost in the movie then. The spoiled right girl had picked up a sword, and half the audience probably had tears in their eyes. Tess didn’t want to look away from the monologue, and she could feel how devastated the character must be at the news. But as the scene shifted, she realised that there was another hand beside hers on the arm rest. Gently touching, one fingertip tracing slow circles on the back of her hand. She felt all the joy of earlier coming right back, and she could tell herself that the worries, the feelings of rejection, all belonged to the woman on the screen. It was amazing how effectively the director could conjure up the emotions these characters were feeling; how deeply the words at the bottom of the screen could sink into her heart. By the time all of the tragedies and triumphs had been resolved, and the end credits rolled, there were four hands on the armrest between Tess and Spike. They weren’t just brushing against each other, and weren’t quite holding. Tess would have been hard pressed to come up with any name for what they were doing. Touching each other’s fingers; making little circles. It could have been a bored twiddling of fingers, but orchestrated for two. An activity that nobody had ever said was out of bounds, between two nervous people who weren’t quite sure if they were ready for anything more conventional. They stayed until the credits ended, the screen faded into darkness, and the lights faded up. they were still sitting there when the door was pushed open again and a lanky man in a Regal uniform came in pushing a cart of cleaning products, ready to tidy up the detritus left by a tide of moviegoers. “We should get moving,” Tess said, although she wished they didn’t have to. She didn’t take her eyes off their hands. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she knew she didn’t want to stop. A few minutes later she had shrugged into a thick hoodie against the cold, letting go of Spike for the shortest possible time. They were outside the Regal now, and the sun had already set. But Upper Ashfields had parks everywhere, and cycleways lit by discreet lamps that could have been a bright moonlight. They didn’t discuss where to head next, but found themselves walking one path among many, marvelling at the strange shapes conjured up by the shadows. Spike mumbled something that Tess didn’t quite hear. But she squeezed his hand in what might have been a supportive way. She left it a dozen steps, feeling their irregular strides bring them closer together again, before she asked if he would like to clarify. “I… don’t know what we are,” he said, echoing Tess’s words earlier. “I know you’re my friend. Probably my best friend. But is there something else?” “I think the question there is if you want there to be,” she answered, and realised that didn’t really tell him anything at all. “I’ve been thinking about… About what it means. My brother… stepbrother… all my friends. If they like someone, they want to spend all their time together, and I know that feeling. But they want to spend hours kissing, putting their hands all over a girl, touching everywhere. Like, before I thought…” “I thought you were going to kiss me.” Tess felt like her blush would light up the darkness when she realised what she had just said. She hadn’t been embarrassed at the time, but saying it like that… “During the movie, I mean.” “I might have done. I wasn’t sure if I should. Kim and Evan went home to give us space, didn’t they? Your friends all think this is a date, so should it be? Should I have…” “Did you want to?” A moment of silence could have said so much. But Tess didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to admit that her interpretation of those few seconds could be the truth. And then Spike spoke like he was dredging each word up from some deep pit. “I… I feel like I’m supposed to. And I don’t understand. I want you to be happy, but I don’t know how to do that. That one moment, I thought I should try to… to do what the other guys do. Go through the motions, and see if I understand why once I’ve done it. But the next moment, when I saw you looking back at me, so excited, I couldn’t. I felt like I would be lying to you. I mean…” “You don’t want…” “I don’t feel an urge to kiss you. Or to grab you like all my friends do with their girlfriends or boyfriends. I never felt that for anybody. But… but listen. Because since you moved, I’ve not been staying round at your house. I can’t see you as often as I used to. I visit another friend instead, play video games or something, when Duke’s having a bad anger day. And every time, I can’t stop wondering what you’re doing. If you’re having fun in your house, all the way over in Palmerston. When you said you’re going to stay with your folks for Christmas, it was a chilling thought. Like, can I really cope with not seeing you for a week? I know it’s only for the holidays, but it feels like such a long time. And we just watched a really great movie, but that doesn’t matter. All I could think about was the girl next to me, and I knew I’d be just as happy whatever we were doing. It’s like this–” he held up his hand, where their fingers were still interlaced, and gently rested her fingers against his cheek, so she could feel the hairs at the edge of his straggly beard tickling the fingertips. “This is the most important treasure I can imagine. Not desperate to… to make out, or pull you closer and… or to do any of the things I’m supposed to do. But feeling your hand in mine, knowing that you’re here, and seeing that you’re happy, that means the world to me. Is that still… I don’t know a word for that feeling.” Tess didn’t know the words either; but his words found a spot in her heart that a simple, physical action could probably never have reached.
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