Story and Art Forum

Hey everyone! Another chapter up. Nothing much to report really. My fingers still aren’t great from the poison ivy and that’s tough, but I don’t think it was like the last time that required some tough pills and two urgent care visits. Yikes! Still though, I’m doing some more tweaking to the remaining chapters. Right now, they stand at 20 total, so four more to go. I might alter some final details as I flesh out my ending though, so there could be more chapters coming. If so, there wouldn’t be many… which means in two to three weeks, this story will be done completely. I’ll thank you all more later, but for now, anyone still reading or any new readers out there… thanks for your time in all this. It means more than even a humble writer like me could ever hope to express. Now… last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 16: Slowly Losing the War There are many paths in the woods around camp. They twist and wind all around, helping you go from wherever you are to wherever you want to be… unless that means escape. From the marshiest shoreline of the lake to the highest peak, they led you. And like them, ARV did the same thing. Except with ARV, there was only one direction… down. My walls were closing in and if I could, I would have been screaming ‘Mayday! Mayday’ to the outside world. I wanted a reprieve from it all. If it wasn’t an indignity of some type, it was a loss of something more from my life that I once took for granted. Nothing seemed to be off the table to lose around here. And for us victims, it didn’t matter smarts or strength or luck… ARV just was. Relentless and uncaring like any virus most had ever seen. Yes, each of the cabins had their own downsides, admittedly. Black cabin was all your abilities but paired with adult sensibilities and restrictions placed on yourself. Most will never play tag or board games there. It is an exercise in patience and combatting boredom yourself half of the time. Purple plunged you more into chaos… but uplifted you with less care about what others thought of you. Yes, that meant sneaking booze or a cabin that reeked of sweat and deodorizers trying to mask it… but it was freedom. Blue though… blue was the first cabin to show that your world was changing. It spanned the gambit between childhood and being a teenager, which meant that some cared more about playing kickball and building tree forts than music or even say… something like dating girls. And red… red was the ultimate test of patience and splitting with the two groups. Half ate their boogers and laughed in rain and mud… and the other half saw their lives slip out of their fingers like sand, know about it, and yet could do nothing to stop it. And there was still yellow cabin. An implication and fear… but no rumors… no stories… just more lost to it. Last week, it claimed Leo as well. Sammy was pretty firmly stuck in red cabin now and Josephine whispered about him ‘bouncing soon,’ but Leo… Leo was gone and firmly in yellow. Unlike Brian, he more or less just drifted into there one day. No discernable accident or emotional breakdown. More just like a leaf passing through life nowadays. Since his confrontation with Dwayne, Leo had been a shell of his former self. But here I was… sitting in another boring lecture on how to use PowerPoint or even something like Paint… or internet safety for minors. It was boring… tedious… the kind of class you dreaded and prayed, even if it meant a lecture after, that you would fall asleep in and wake up right as you had to leave. “Dude!” Eric poked at me as he whispered in a raised voice. “You gotta pay attention.” I rolled my eyes. “Eric… I’ve known this crud since it first came out. And I’m not a minor mentally, so I remember about cybersecurity and all that. Heck… it was a minor I did in college.” I looked toward the front of the classroom at Mr. Klassen, his glasses slowing dropping down his nose. “And Klassen and his class are just so boring.” “Doesn’t matter,” Tommy whispered. “What?” Eric and I both exclaimed at once. “No talking during quizzes,” Mr. Klassen droned on, quickly going back to his book as everyone else attempted to take the practice quiz on internet security. “Keep it down… but all that you said… doesn’t matter,” Tommy noted. “Hold it…” Eric had lectured me. “I was talking about paying attention here… but this class is absolutely boring. Even you have to admit that.” Victor turned toward us as well now. “Maybe… but doesn’t matter.” Eric and I’s jaws nearly fell to the floor. Eric was normally the more studious one and Victor more of the rebel. “Yeah… gawk all you want, but we’re both in agreement on this,” Tommy continued. “Part of being in red cabin with your mind still intact is the burden of faking it.” I frowned. “Faking… it?” Victor nodded. “We’re miles ahead of both of you in our boredom. Klassen is terrible at this stuff… but even more than both of you by now? We’ve already heard his lecture and done this test… twice!” Tommy smiled and rolled his eyes. “Does it about once a month now… but it doesn’t matter. You show your boredom… someone higher up here is going to mark you down as being bored because you don’t understand or don’t have the emotional maturity to stay in class. That maybe you want to go to playtime…” I wanted to retort that anything would be better than this, but I just groaned and went back to my little boring quiz. And just as I suspected, I passed it in five minutes with a 95% passing rate. That might have made me happy, but at Ms. Peachy’s, I saw the looks… the ones that always follow you from the adults… always question everything. You reach for the scissors? There’s a flicker of fear that you’ll cut yourself. You reached for a heavy book? They make little flinches towards you as if their brains need time to process that you’re not actually really five or six years old. “Wonderful!” Ms. Peachy praised, seeing our little diagrams of the lifecycle of frogs. “Very… creative!” She smiled… but it was the kind of lying smile that smiled more because a kid did something cute than accurate. For example, if Sammy’s represented the true lifecycle, I think every kid in America would run screaming if they knew about it. “Now then…” She stepped aside and showed us our tiny notebooks that we kept in her class. “Pick your notebook up and a pencil and go out. I want each of you to capture one animal and to record what you see and what you think they’re doing.” We all nodded, and fully understanding the assignment, grabbed our books and headed off. Just as Tommy and Victor picked up their books though, Ms. Peachy leaned in and pulled them aside before whispering something in their ears. By the looks on their faces, it wasn’t something they wanted to do… but also didn’t have a choice in as they soon nodded. Ten minutes into our little activity, I couldn’t stand it anymore. “What did Ms. Peachy ask you all? Something bad?” “Well…” Tommy hesitated as stood up from his crouched position by a fallen next on the ground. “It’s just…” “Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Victor sighed and looked at both Eric and I, his patience already running thin from a stubbed toe about 50 yards back now. “She just wanted us to keep an eye on you all. That’s all… and we have been.” “You…” I paused and was reminded how several times over the recent weeks, just around the time I shot shorter than them and joined Eric in the smaller but not mentally regressed category of red cabin, Tommy and Victor helped us out. They helped with big books or hopping over logs out here or one of a million little things. Each time, it wasn’t a big deal… but now, it was a crushing blow. “You agreed?” “Not by choice,” Tommy defended. “She cited that Mrs. Claw was getting all the class heads to do the same.” “It wasn’t pleasant, but you all know us. We’re not Josephine out here,” Eric explained. “We see a need, we fill it. It’s just good help… nothing more.” “And for us?” Eric seemed just as betrayed. “How should we react to our friends basically babysitting us.” Tommy looked genuinely hurt. “I’m sorry if you feel that way. But just like the whole not fake it in Mr. Klassen’s class, this is all about just going along with it.” “So… just try not to think about it. More like someone opening the door for you or saying please and thank you.” I could see the rational part of Victor’s mind trying to scramble to justify this business to us. Seeing that, I nudged Eric and we both nodded in acceptance. It wasn’t a nice feeling… but like so much else, as a red cabin member, there were things you just had to accept some days. But that’s the mental side of things. Physical things though… they were a losing battle. Later, as I got up off my knees from observing some peculiar animal tracks, I felt the first twang in my bladder. Things like that were only getting worse, and my speed and nimbleness that also came with youth gave me an advantage, but today we were in the woods, and trying for a sec, my fingers had a hard time with my zipper. Panicking at the failure, I ran. “Miles! Wait!” Tommy called out after me, several twigs and leaves snapping in his wake as he tried to catch up with me, per his agreement with Ms. Peachy earlier. The problem was that I was simply smaller. Going under one log was easier for me than him. He could reach the top shelf, but panic and a tiny agile body are powerful things out here. In a minute, his voice grew faint. But I was still in the woods. Panic may have fueled my speed, but it had also sped up my recklessness as well. I went in a general direction as fast I could… but not the right one. And soon, I was lost in the middle of a clearing and trying to frantically unzip my shorts. “Come on… come on!” I yelled, my stupid fingers fumbling from fear and panic and my growing urgency. “Miles?” I heard Esther soon call out. “You out here, honey?” I sighed, knowing that calling out for her would constitute my need for help… but I also knew I was facing that tiny humiliation versus a pair of wet shorts. “Over here! Quick!” Several scrambled and snaps later, the dense foliage cleared and she saw me still trying to undo my shorts. Understanding what was happening, she came over and crouched to help. “Here… let me get that.” But I ran into another problem… my stomach angrily grumbled. “Oh? Is it something more?” she asked as gingerly as she could. I winced, now feeling that familiar pressure in my gut. “I… it wasn’t but… yeah.” I felt another grumble. “Yes. Can you… can you help me?” She simply smiled and nodded before reaching her hand out. “Come on. Take my hand so we don’t get separate, but I know the fastest way to the potty from here.” I hated the hand holding. I hated the term ‘potty.’ But Esther also didn’t make a big deal out of any of it. It simply was part of her job to help others with as much dignity as she could muster. Little hints slipped out here and there of her dealings with the more mentally regressed… but it was almost never on purpose to belittle any of us. But she was right and at least afforded me the dignity of privacy once we got to the bathrooms in a snap. “Woah!” I shouted after a moment when I reached for the toilet paper and teetered on the edge of the bowl. Camp Commune had regular-sized and normal-sized implements everywhere. It made regression easier… but I was simply passing beyond those things now if I wasn’t careful. My stall door knocked rapidly. “Miles? Miles? You okay in there?” “I’m…” I braced myself against the side of the stall to keep from wobbling so much. “I’m fine. Just… not used to the size of everything still.” There was a pause. I could see her shadow leaning in toward the door. Not looking in, just more ready to spring into action if she needed to do it. “Did you fall in?” “No!” I snapped back before wincing and realizing my attitude wasn’t called for. “Sorry. I just… the seat’s a little big.” “Oh.” Another pause from her. “Gotcha.” I don’t like all her pauses. I know she is doing her best, but it’s like I can see and hear her brain trying to correct itself and tell her that I’m an adult in a kid’s body. More and more, I feel that she’s thinking I’m losing the fight though. Unlike Josephine, who will just say it out loud, Esther keeps it to herself. It doesn’t help though. To make matters worse though, I spot some dampness in my underwear. It’s not terrible, but it’s enough for me to take a tissue and dab up the small mess before I leave. It makes me worried. ‘If Esther, or worse, Josephine or Mrs. Carlisle, knew about this, how would they react?’ Again, I still couldn’t pinpoint what the line was for yellow cabin. Brian was in pull-ups and used them frequently, but Leo hadn’t touched them at all as far as I knew. It most just made me more paranoid and secretive about any new issue I had. Heading back to the group, despite my nerves regarding my damp underwear, I was more focused on how Esther found me so quickly. “So… were you just wandering out in the woods and heard me?” Esther stumbled for a moment but kept walking and shook her head with notable hesitancy. “To be honest, Miles? No.” I stopped for half a moment and she let me, keeping that little answer floating in the air. “I…” I was trying not to take things so personally, but it was exasperatingly difficult. I think it was mainly because I had so little to hang onto these days. Take the successes of your life and boil most of them down to solely exercising your independence, keep from wetting your pants, and don’t cry when things inevitably don’t go your way. Take one away and the rest destabilize fast as well. “Don’t you trust me?” I finally managed to croak out. She sighed and nodded her head. “Of course, Miles. I just…” She bit her bottom lip and sat down on a large nearby rock. “Listen… you’re not supposed to hear this… but you’ve never been alone out here.” I had been going to Ms. Peachy’s since the beginning. It was one of the few consistencies in my life now, and a stable of any of the levels of cabins was exploration. You go out, smell the forests and the moss or grass or dirt beneath your feet and just take it all in and observe. It was the crux of half the class, and it was a moment of freedom. No teacher watching… no counselor or advisor or volunteer. Just freedom… and now that seemed to only be an illusion. “The… the whole time?” I asked hoping I had simply misunderstood her. “Like… all the way back in black cabin as well?” She paused and then shook her head. “No… not back then, but since blue, there’s always been someone near every group. Your head of cabin still went out with you lot in black and purple, but starting with blue, there were always two or three people out here to watch over you all.” It was the answer I was hoping for, but somehow, it made it all so much worse. This was a gained trait in Ms. Peachy’s nature class. At one point you had no supervision and another, you did. “But it’s more in red… isn’t it?” I asked, trying not to let my emotions take over my words. “Yes.” She scratched her neck. “I’ll be honest with you, Miles. I think you deserve that much at least.” She took a deep breath. “See… before you were even in black cabin, we had an incident out here. Nothing bad, but an AR in red cabin thought they could still climb trees. Done it for years and they didn’t know any different. So, they climbed… and they fell. Nothing too far, but they cut themselves all down their right leg… thigh to ankle. Started bleeding pretty bad, and of course being red cabin, even when they tried to pull him out of there, his friends didn’t have the strength anymore to help him.” I just pictured the scene now. Maybe Tommy or Victor could have done something… especially together, but a single kid bleeding… probably crying, and you get his friends like say… me or Eric, or worse, Brian and Leo right before they went to yellow. Just not good. “And then what?” She almost looked relieved that I was paying attention to her and taking her little story seriously. “One of his friends stayed to help and two others went for an adult. They found one in minutes that day, but it was a wake-up call for the staff here back then. If it had been a longer wait… things could have turned out much different.” I let that news flow in and out of my mind for a moment. It was a poignant story for me and one that struck home that just because I had the mental capacity of an adult… the physical side was just as critical to consider. Of course, the kid could have been mentally regressed… but if nothing else, his friends were weak. And that was the point. Unaffected mentality is great, but out here in the woods, physical strength is sometimes the most critical thing to have… and we no longer did. “I… I understand.” It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was just reality around here. My independence, like it or not or illusion or not beforehand, was all being slowly ebbed away, and despite what I wanted, I knew that’s just how it had to be now. “I’m glad, Miles.” Esther smiled and stood up before gesturing with her hand towards me back towards the others. “Come on.” And for a minute with the way her hand seemed to freeze out before me, I almost wondered if she expected me to take her hand. I did it before in an emergency and now, I never did hold it coming back… but the notion festered in my mind. And the range wasn’t any better. Mr. King still allowed me to stay with the others on the main firing line with a real bow and arrow and a legitimate target and not just a Styrofoam plate… but my bow was one of the tiniest. Worse, Mr. King had clearly paused and was weighing that option whether it was even safe for me or not. He seemed to be on my side… but that side was growing smaller everyday… at least from most others. One quickly came to mind. “Enjoying the carrot sticks?” Emma asked me at the picnic tables where members of red cabin were taking a break later that afternoon. I nodded, enjoying one of the few perks of red cabin compared to the others. Even blue just got a water break in the afternoon, but being fresh from the farm, it was delicious. “Thank you. The best as always…” A little flattery never hurt anyone… especially Emma, who was basically had become my rock in this place lately. After a few more crunches though, I had one thought on my mind. “What if… what if I become like the others and move to yellow cabin?” I inquired, looking down at my diminishing body with a real sense of dread on all sides of me now. “But I still have my mind?” Emma stopped eating her slices of cucumber and looked back at me. “You really think you’re moving down to yellow cabin?” she asked, a tiny bit of odd elation in her voice. “Maybe? I don’t know. I just…” I looked toward the other members of red cabin, many of them eating and conversing with each other or their ‘favorite’ member of the commune like I was doing with Emma. “I’m on the shorter side of the cabin now and I can still recite you Pythagorean theorem or answer any questions about a proposal I worked on three years ago.” “Well… then, like you’re doing now, you just take it one day at a time.” She paused and looked at me intently. “And you do that very well I think, but… I think there’s something more to this… isn’t there?” I shied away, remembering back to the article I had recently seen during breakfast that Tommy had shared with us. Those under five years old, even if mentally sound, had to have a guardian. Five to ten, the courts would take it on a case-by-case basis. I might have thought like a forty-year-old man… but my body certainly wasn’t that age anymore. She smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” She shifted over, getting closer to me before taking my hands firmly. “Listen Miles… I don’t want you to be worried about that. The whole business of non-mentally regressed ARs getting lost in the system without families because they aren’t chosen?” She shook her head. “Don’t you pay any attention to that.” Those stories were flashed amongst the cabins several times in the news we still got from the outside world. It rightly terrified most of us. “But…” “No.” She was firm now. Soft but unmovable in her conviction towards me. “Someone will be out there to help you. I promise you… this world might be dark and cruel some days, but you have my word… there are many caring souls who will accommodate your needs and gladly take you in.” For half a second, I thought she was implying that she would. But when she didn’t make that promise, her promise that I would be taken in by someone who would treat me fairly or even just in at all and that I wouldn’t be lost to the system… seemed more distant than ever. “I… I don’t know if I can believe you… or that you can make that promise.” My glance then shifted over towards Esther and Josephine. Both were showing their colors more now as I dwindled in age. It was just reality around here admittedly, but their presence was part of my fear now. “Something tells me that most will be like Josephine or Esther over there. Maybe some nice words… but I am my age and there’s no gray area.” Emma looked over and frowned at the two before turning back towards me. “Now, you don’t pay attention to them at all, you hear me, Miles? They might be the norm… but they aren’t the whole world.” There was a pause in her voice, and her eyes seemed to light up before she bent lower to me and whispered. “Can I share a secret with you Miles?” Curious, and with nothing much else to lose, I nodded. She smiled, her eyes twinkling bright for a second after she looked around to presumably see if anyone was listening in on our conversation. “Now, you can’t tell anyone I told you this… but I’ve seen the forms… the ones that the camp fills out for any ARs who bounce. It’s pretty extensive, but I’ve seen the whole thing.” Emma paused as if to give my mind a chance to process what she was saying. “And at the end… one of the categories is mental ability with a box for ‘unaffected.’” She smiled and I felt like I should be catching on… but I wasn’t. “So…?” “So…” She squeezed my clutched hands. “What that means is that you aren’t alone. You aren’t an anomaly. Someone out there could be looking for an AR just like you.” She resumed her normal posture and volume of speaking. “And it might never be a guarantee, but I have a good feeling that someone will take you in… and whoever they are, they will cherish your company and take your feelings and mind into consideration.” Her words were exactly what I needed to hear. She had that uncanny ability to seemingly soothe my jangled mind of all this confusion of being an AR. I questioned it once… but I never wanted to look at seemingly good luck with any amount of skepticism here. Good things were just that and were always better than bad things. I had at least someone on my side, and for me here, that’s what counted. I sighed with relief. “Thank you, Emma. I really do hope so. I just… I get worried, but you always seem to know just what to say.” She smiled back and let my hands go. “I’m always just glad to help, Miles. You’re one of the good ones. And… maybe to raise your spirits even higher today…” She then reached into a small basket that had been covered for the better part of snack time… and pulled out a single blueberry scone. “Would you like a scone maybe?” I saw the glistening harden sugar sprinkles on top and I could already smell the delicious blueberries I had seen her handpick not too long ago. “Yes, please.” She smiled and handed me the scone… a simple moment between two people and nothing more. It gave me hope. She provided me with something like a little ray of sunshine I could pocket and take with me. I saw only oblivion and hardship in my future, but she had offered a simple but pleasant alternative that my mind could latch onto. And for two weeks, with the advice given by my friends, learned on my own, or her hope, I was okay. Until one Thursday afternoon as the ran fell hard on the camp. Havenswood had once again been canceled. In the dog days of July, the rainy season seemed to be in full swing and for the past 14 days, it had rained at some point for 9 of them. So, ACTS had gathered once more. Brian had been mildly removed… and I hadn’t seen more than a flicker of him. But I really couldn’t dwell on that notion. Research had been buzzing for a while now that we were homing in on the motivations for the monsters and maybe a way to combat or at least evade them. But with dinner fast approaching, Ms. Peachy signaled to us it was time to go, and we all filed out and gathered together under a handful of umbrellas. With the diminishing strength of certain members, including me, umbrellas were getting too unwieldy. Unfortunately, about a hundred steps away from the ACTS building… I needed to pee. It came fast. Almost out of nowhere, my bladder felt like it was going to burst. My eyes widened. “I, uh…” Another twang… feeling far too close to a near miss. “Shoot! I gotta… gotta go!” I wanted to explain more… to maybe wait and not cause a scene… but I didn’t feel I could wait. I sprinted away as fast as my small legs could carry me. “Miles!” Ms. Peachy called out after me, being one of the main watchers of me besides Fred away from red cabin. “Wait! We need to go together.” But her voice and her urgency were all lost on me. I didn’t care about any of that or protocols or really anything else except the closest bathroom. The building we used for ACTS was excellent and away from prying eyes… but that also made it secluded… and far enough away from the main camp that I was running out of breath. To my relief though, I soon spotted the partial arc of cabins just beyond the clearing in front of me. So, with the rain pouring and little rivers forming on the sides of pathways, I sprinted. Hard and fast… I didn’t care where I was going. Only straight… only right to the cabin and the blessed bathroom inside. I could have maybe worked my zipper… but I didn’t think of that anymore. More often than not it would just get stuck. No… I needed the smaller bathroom in red cabin. Too fast and too reckless I guess though… and I tripped on a rock. I went flying… and right into the mud. The grayish-brown ooze seeped around me like some horrific monster coming up from the depths. My hit was hard and though the mud was dirty, it at least cushioned my impact… but it was still a thud to my front. Including my bladder. And it released. So, there I was… lying face down in the mud, having just wet my pants after I had risked it all to sprint back here to make it on time. I was unhurt, but now dirty, heaving, wet from more than one way, and started to freak out. But I guess an AR sprinting toward a cabin and then falling in the rain catches people’s attention. “Miles!” Esther yelled out. “You okay?” I wavered in the mud, trying to hold back my tears… only managing to wave back at her with my face still buried. “It’s okay!” she called out, almost as if she wasn’t the only one who had come out of the cabins. And as if to answer my own question, I heard two other doors slam closed. “Miles… can you at least hold up your thumb up or down, so I know if you’re okay?” I held it down. Dramatic, yes, but my emotions were taking over. I wasn’t hurt… but I wasn’t okay either. A couple of sucking clops and splashes padded up to me. Looking up, I saw Esther there with a large umbrella. She looked at me with such pity and concern before leaning down. “Come here, honey.” She quickly offered her free hand to me and I gratefully took it. Still though, standing there in all that muck, knowing full-well that I had just wet my pants, I was a miserable wreck of a person. I felt inches away from breaking down altogether. But Esther’s sympathetic smile kept me standing. She sighed and took my hand before shaking her head. “Come on, you. Let’s get you rinsed off at least. No need to stomp all that mud inside…” I nodded and she led me to the side of the cabin where she soon produced a bucket and dumped it over my head. She then handed me a washcloth before refilling the bucket and returning. “Okay… you try to get most of the muck off while I head inside but then I’ll be back.” She paused and even turned slightly but then snapped right back. “But Miles? Were you running because you needed to go potty?” I winced at those words… and slowly nodded. “Ah…” I could practically see the gears turning in her head. “And… since you’re not squirming, can I assume that you no longer… need to?” I hesitated, but still silent, I tearfully nodded my head. Esther sighed and nodded. “I understand. You just clean yourself off a little and I’ll be right back.” Just before she disappeared around the corner, I saw her look at me one last time… like someone looking at their favorite toy before donating it. I didn’t like the look but just focused on scrubbing the muck from behind my ears. I was already a mess, but I was now practically soaked, the water dripping off my uniform to my feet, brown and unclear. Sure enough though, Esther returned quickly with Mrs. Carlisle. To my dismay, both looked at me with such pity and dread. “Miles…” Whatever Mrs. Carlisle had to say, she clearly didn’t want to. “I think you’re a great person. You’re funny and responsible and mature… but your regression is only slowing. It’s not stopping, and based on reports… I can only come to one conclusion…” Despite the rain, I felt I could have heard a penny drop. She sighed. “I think it’s in your best interest to head to yellow cabin now… tonight.” Life seemed to leave my body. I just couldn’t fathom it. Brian was practically a toddler by the time he left. Leo was an emotionally stunted wreck of a person, not really standing out but certainly not a suave and mature man anymore. But me… I was just small. Maybe a bit emotional, but I felt I was plenty enough justified for all that. ‘But now they want to move me to yellow cabin?’ I should have been outraged, but I just felt a choked sob reaching up from the bottom of my throat. “But why?” I protested, more whiney than I wanted. “I can still think and I’m a little sad… but I’m losing everything! Why are you all punishing me? Why do you all hate me so much?” My words seemed to act like daggers against both of the women. But while Esther seemed like she just wanted to run away and cry herself now, Mrs. Carlisle drooped her shoulders and crouched down to more meet my new eye level. “Miles… of course we don’t hate you. We just… we’ve noticed certain patterns with you. You’re not exactly untouched here. Your bedwetting… we’ve noticed a few slips in coordination… all physical, yes… not to mention your height, but all that adds up.” She sighed. “I know it probably feels unfair but most of us think you just need a new level of support. And with you not getting better, that need is only going to grow. I’m sorry about all this… really. I wish it could be any other way, but…” “But I’m regressing and nothing else matters…” I mourned pitifully. Mrs. Carlisle didn’t confirm anything, but I could see from the look on her face that I was right. Instead of saying more, she then simply stood up and held out her hand for me to take. Devastated and trying not to give them the last act of a desperate AR, I took her hand to better focus on controlling my emotions. At this point, so terribly demoted to yellow cabin… I didn’t care what I looked like right then. I just wanted to get all this over with. And as I was escorted next door, Esther gave me a sorrowful wave goodbye… something I didn’t return. I was more focused on the smirking Josephine lingering by the door. Deep down, I have no evidence, but from what I had just witnessed, I felt she had been one of the primary drivers behind my new demotion. Like prepping me for the world I was about to enter, I felt powerless against any of it. One sadly familiar knock and waiting game like before later, a strong, tall and colorfully but moderately dressed woman came to the door. “Oh, hello there, Mrs. Carlisle! What brings you here today?” Mrs. Carlisle smiled faintly and gestured with her head down towards me. “Mrs. Georgie… this is the camper I was telling you about. It seems… well, he had a spill today and we at red think it’s just best if he starts tonight before dinner.” “Oh?” She finally looked down at me but then popped immediately back up at Mrs. Carlisle. “Was there… an incident?” Mrs. Carlisle nodded. “Not the primary reason… all that will be in the report I send over to you tonight, but yes. Also, fell in the mud.” “Oh… you were the one that Mrs. Robin was telling me about. Sorry about that, honey…” She smiled at me, but I could just feel the waves of years of experience with young children and babies roll off her expression. Not condescension necessarily but the kind of face that exists to ensure that all is right in the world for someone so young and that their smile could mean everything in that fight. When I didn’t respond except with a nod though, Mrs. Georgie’s smile faded for a moment before she turned back inside. “Dear? Someone at the door you should come for!” A light padding of footsteps later, an even more colorfully dressed woman came to the door. She sported braided pigtails with little red bows at the end and as soon as she saw me, she kind of… freaked out. “Oh my goodness! What happened to you, sweetie? You’re all muddy and dirty and so wet! Oh! You must be frozen to the bone out there!” “Honey… honey…” Mrs. Georgie pulled Mrs. Robin away from me like one would do to an over eager pet. “This is the AR… the one that still has their mind? They’re transferring over… now.” Mrs. Robin looked at me and she nodded. “Oh… I see. Just wait right there…” She quickly dashed inside and came right back with a large fluffy towel… one that she immediately wrapped around me after kneeling down. “There… that should help you out, huh?” I didn’t like her gushing and almost overly saccharine sweetness… but I could deny the comfort or the warmth of the towel against my completely soaked body. So, I just nodded. She smiled and rubbed my shoulders gently while Mrs. Georgie turned back toward Mrs. Carlisle. “Well, thank you, Mrs. Carlisle. I think we can take it from here. A new spot just opened this morning, so we should be good. Already started preparing for them when you warned us yesterday at breakfast. Mrs. Carlisle nodded. “Very well.” She turned down toward me. “I’m very sorry about all this Miles, but… just give the place a try. I…” She hesitated like she wanted to share more with me or maybe apologize again but she just smiled and backed off the porch. “Goodbye, Miles…” In less than 13 seconds, she was gone. Mrs. Georgie wasted no time under the small front covered landing. “Okay, dear… I assume you’ve got this handled with him?” Mrs. Robin rubbed my shoulders a little more and used the edges of the towel to dab the tips of my dripping hair. She smiled and looked up. “Yes… I assume you need to do your thing with admin before dinner?” Mrs. Georgie nodded. “You know me so well. Best to get it over with at admin.” She quickly reached inside and pulled out an umbrella. Once she was outside and it was popped out wide, she turned to me… sympathy etched all over her face. “It’ll be okay, Miles. Mrs. Robin will take good care of you. But… welcome to yellow cabin.” As I nodded, still mostly speechless, she smiled once more and ran off. Mrs. Georgie seemed gruffer and more business-like but almost more like she still held me with respect and the notion that I could still think. Mrs. Robin seemed to take another approach. Kneeling down, she made sure to pat me all over with the towel, cooing and babbling nonsense the whole time. “Is that good? Oh, yes! So good! So good! We’ll get you dry and cleaned in no time!” When she finally seemed satisfied that I wasn’t going to drip all over the floor, she bundled my shoulders tightly around the towel and smiled about as widely as she could. “There! So much better, huh?” She didn’t wait for me to respond. “Now, let’s get you all sorted in here. Maybe a nice bath and some clean clothes. But…” Without asking, and as swiftly as she could, I was plucked up and settled into her arms. No warning… no asking… just doing. She then opened the front door and looked back at me for a moment. “Now then… welcome to yellow cabin, or as we like to call it here… sunshine cabin!” Considering the rain, the coming night, and how I felt, the cabin seemed just about the opposite to me. And I guess that, more than anything really, was why I just collapsed against her and squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I was entering a world I didn’t wish to from something so minor, but that was just life around here. Despite everything, I was still getting demoted to the dreaded last cabin. Now, I would be the one gawked at and pitied. “There, there…” Mrs. Robin cooed, rubbing my back gently. “No worries. Just rest and peace now…” I knew it was a risk, collapsing like that in her arms… but I didn’t care. She thought I was giving into more childish and even babyish impulses but no matter… I was in yellow cabin and that’s all that seemed to matter to me anymore. Forever on, I would be associated with this horrible place. And as we entered, even with my eyes closed, a picture started to be cleanly crafted for me anyways. Smiles of lavender, ammonia, baby powder and lotions, soap, and… maybe even something worse. It assaulted and penetrated me and into my brain before I could even see a scrap of this place. What my eyes couldn’t see, my nose could smell and my mind just knew; I was entering a nursery. No going back… forever labeled in my new babyish world. I had fought the good fight, and now, I had lost.

Chapter 6 "The Playground"   Allan took a moment to adjust to the sunlight, and once he had rubbed his eyes, what he saw was eyepopping.   The backyard was enormous, and in the middle was a huge playground! There was a seesaw, spring rider horsies, even a swing set, some with regular looking seats, others being baby-styled bucket seats. A sandbox with a few buckets and shovels, sat on the edge near a dome jungle gym, but all of that paled in comparison to the pièce de résistance. Sat in the middle was a huge multi play station, with different levels leading up to tubed slides and perches. Different panels had little games like tic tac toe spinners, chalk boards, plinko, picture matching games and things to fidget with like gear cogs, wire and track mazes, spinners, and dials. Every piece of equipment was made to be giant, and the occupants feel small. Alan just couldn't believe what he was seeing! Wrapping round the playground's mulch ground was a winding track, perfect for walking (or crawling in some little's case). Surrounding that was lush, soft grass, littered with a few beach balls near what appeared to be a big inflatable pool, with a few pool toys resting inside awaiting their next swim. Tall trees spread out around the edges of a very tall fence, with an even larger forest surrounding the whole area. Alan nearly forgot that a few of the occupants weren't here for the same rest and regression he was there for, so a big fence and security guards started to make a lot more sense for a breakout.   A shrill whistle broke through Alan's gawking, Ms. Kiki stood by as the last little was escorted outside. Alan, still holding Ms. Tasha's hand, looked up at her, for some reason feeling like he need her approval first. Ms. Tasha, warmly smiled and nudged him forward.   "It's okay, sweetpea!" she said, "Ms. Kiki won't bite! Go on and have some fun!"   Alan stood by TJ, eagerly waving at him. The rest of his new playmates all joined side by side in a line, each in their own states of bliss, embarrassment, disinterest, and/or disdain. For Alan, while he was thankful to not be the only one wearing ridiculous childish garb and shrouded by the surrounding cover of forest, he still felt the need to huddle close to TJ in order to hide his bulky diaper free for the world to see. He wondered if it was too late to ask to go back inside and ask for a pair of pants...   "Alright, Kiddies!" Ms. Kiki began, setting down a small children's boombox printed with little animals with microphones. "Are we ready to get all our wiggles out?! Who's ready!?" she said, her energetic keenness met with a few excited responses from TJ, Renee, Sophia, and Izzy who was still sitting in her stroller blowing raspberries. Braden, Zoey, Ingrid, and Ronnie on the other hand seemed to be indignant, mortified, or just plain bored.   "I see a few gwumpy faces...I think we need a lil music to get us pump, pump, pumped!" Ms. Kiki said, pressing play on the boombox, a children's song blasting forth. Ms. Kiki began singing along.   "I gotta shake, shake, shake my sillies out Shake, shake, shake my sillies out Shake, shake, shake my sillies out And wiggle my waggles away!"   Ms. Kiki began mimicking silly dance moves and ushering the others to join in. Alan watched as Sophia began twirling her skirt around, bouncing up and down, her Mary janes clacking on the sidewalk. Renee grabbed the hem of her dress and swayed her hips side to side, suckling happily on her pacifier. Izzy sat happily bouncing and shaking her plastic toy, babbling along but not really making any discernible words. Even TJ was rocking his arms and twisting his feet back and forth.   "I gotta clap, clap, clap my crazies out Clap, clap, clap my crazies out Clap, clap, clap my crazies out And wiggle my waggles away!"   Alan stood locked in place, feeling a bit of the warm heat of embarrassment building in his chest. He had already took the plunge stepping outside, but doing genuine babyish play still felt alien to him. His self consciousness was noticed by Ms. Kiki, who made her way towards Alan, which made him more petrified in worry he would be reprimanded for his lack of participation. Ms. Kiki's demeanor however was anything but reprimanding. She stood by Alan's side, clapping her hands, encouraging Alan to join along. Alan, not wanting to be rude, slowly clapped long much to Ms. Kiki's pride and approval as she laughed in a non-condescending way. Her expression made her seem genuine, and though he still felt ridiculous, Ms. Kiki's attitude put him at ease despite retaining residual nervousness, only not from embarrassment but instead from how cute Ms. Kiki was up close. It felt like the most unconventional way to impress a girl, Alan thought.   "I gotta jump, jump, jump my jiggles out Jump, jump, jump my jiggles out Jump, jump, jump my jiggles out And wiggle my waggles away!"   Ingrid still shackled and stuck in her soiled diaper, had no other choice but to do as the song told, hopping ridiculously in her saggy diaper. Zoey stood by, her arms to their sides, her hands presumably balled into fists of rage inside her thick mittens. Sour-faced, she barley bent her knees up and down, her tutu lightly bobbing up and down. Both seemingly only participating as to avoid more punishments.   "I gotta yawn, yawn, yawn my sleepies out Yawn, yawn, yawn my sleepies out Yawn, yawn, yawn my sleepies out And wiggle my waggles away!"   Ronnie didn't need the song to tell him to do this, as his boredom overshadowed his lackluster participation consisting of arrhythmic clapping and foot tapping.   Braden however stood with his arms crossed, watching the others humiliate themselves as he smirked on. This smirk turned into a mischievous grin however, as he checked if the coast was clear so he could then step on the chains connecting Ingrid's feet, catching the poor woman mid-jump and causing her to tumble back, falling directly on her mushy diaper with a thud and an "Eep!". Braden quickly went right back to his stance, luckily for him not getting caught in the act. For Ingrid however, not so lucky, her stinky diaper creating an uncomfortably squishy, landing.   At this point, the song had reached its end, and Ms. Kiki began giving quick aid to Ingrid.   "Okay Kiddos, I think that's enough wiggles for now. Why don't you all go do some free play while I help miss Mush Tush here!" Ms. Kiki said, ushering a sulking Ingrid who was now red faced and fruitlessly trying to adjust her backside with no hands, hilariously wiggling her dumpy diapered rump in the air. All the others went on to do their own activities, TJ playfully nudged Alan as he passed by.   "Race ya to the swings!" TJ said, making a quick dash towards the playground, his racecar themed shoes lighting up with every step. Alan chuckled, tugging his shirt to still try and conceal his giant diaper to no luck. Perhaps sitting down will at least give him cover, he thought. As Alan approached the swing set, TJ was already happily swinging high as he could, waving.   "Hey Alan!! You look like an ant all the way up here!" TJ joked, which gave Alan a giggle as he went to sit down and began swinging. He couldn't help but look in amazement at the size of the bucket seat next to him, making him curious as to what that would feel like to be pushed in...   Alan and TJ eventually started to swing in rhythm, the two men laughing and whoohooing. Alan couldn't remember the last time he had this much fun on a swing set. It took him back to his schooldays long since past, only now it was much more akin to preschool.   "On the count of three, get ready to jump!" TJ yelled to Alan. "One...two..." and before he could get to the next number, off TJ went into the air, landing with a triumphant stance. He then looked to Alan, waiting for his friend to join him back down on earth. Alan, not being as adventures, slowed his swinging down a tad, then nudged himself off the swing, a lot less gracefully than TJ had just pulled off.   "Haha, scaredy cat!" TJ teased, causing to Alan to playfully roll his eyes. "Wanna go see what the others are up to? We can find other stuff to play on!"   Alan hesitantly agreed, and they both headed towards the hub of the playground. Alan was never one for social interactions, and now almost being forced around other people put him in an extra weird spot. The oversized diaper also didn't help much.     As they made their way, Alan observed how some of the littles "played". Izzy had been rolled and let out near one of the panels with tic tac toe spinners, giggling as she mindlessly spun them around as Ms. Luna sat nearby, reading a book. Sophie was riding one of the spring horsies, her eyes rolled back and moving fast with a flustered smile behind her sparkly pacifier, not leaving much to Alan's imagination as to what she might've been trying to do. Zoey sat on the edge of the slide, grumbling to herself and glaring at the ground, fidgeting in her seat, her last spanking probably still making for a miserable time. Alan couldn't seem to find Braden anywhere though, which made Alan uneasy. Lastly, they stumbled upon Renee and Ronnie who were in the sandbox, the former making simple sandcastles with the surrounding buckets strewn about, the latter resting his head in his hand, digging a hole and tossing sand to the side, nothing hiding his listlessness. TJ stopped by the sandbox to greet their playmates.   "Hiya, Renee! 'Sup Ronnie" TJ greeted, though Alan picked up on TJ's switch from preschooler to a normal "adult" greeting when he acknowledged Ronnie. "Watch'ya up to?"   "Hi-hi, TJ!!!" greeted Renee from behind her pacifier, causing her speech to be muffled. Ronnie seemed to perk up a little when he saw TJ, greeting him with a simple wave and a casual "'Sup." in return. "Hi-hi, new kid!" Renee said to Alan, still while never removing her pacifier from her mouth. Ronnie didn't do much but yawn and give a small grunt and a head nod, not exactly a warm welcome to ease Alan's nerves.   "H-hey there...", Alan sheepishly said with a small, half-hearted wave. "I'm Al-Alan. What uh, what are ya making there?"   "Hole." Ronnie said with a plain tone, causing Alan to chuckle uncomfortably.   "I'm buildin' a san'castle!!!" Renee responded, much more enthusiastically than her nonplussed counterpart.   "Aw cool!" TJ said, actually sounding sincere. "Can we play with you?"   "Hmmmm...o'tay!" Renee said, handing another bucket to TJ and a shovel to Alan who sat down and began mimicking Ronnie, still unfazed by anything going on. A few minutes passed as they casually played, TJ and Renee building a pretty big, elaborate sandcastle as the other two men aimlessly dug. It wasn't lost on Alan how strange four grown adults must look while playing in an oversized sandbox, all while wearing the most ridiculous, childish outfits imaginable accompanied by gigantic diapers. What a sight for any passerby, a thought Alan thankfully didn't have to worry much about with the backyard's privacy.   "Hey!" TJ blurted out, "We should get the Tonka truck and excavator from the outside toy box!"   "Ooh, okie!" Renee said, as they both got up, wiping the sand from their backsides and running off to a far corner of the fence to retrieve their toys. Alan felt the awkward tension in air as he and Ronnie sat by, Ronnie still digging his hole.   "So..." Alan said, trying to break the silence. "TJ told me you and Renee have been together for a while, how long have you two been into the AB/DL thing?"   Ronnie, without stopping his digging, simply replied with, "It's not...really my whole thing, y'know?"   Alan wasn't exactly shocked what with Ronnie's resent demeanor, yet it left him with more questions than answers.   "W-wait, you're not an AB? TJ said you and your wife wanted to "spice things up", this is a pretty big "out there" way of doing that, isn't it?" Alan asked.   "Well, yeah." Ronnie responded, finally stopping his digging and actually looking at Alan for the first time. "We weren't doin' that great for a minute. We had a lot of long talks, and this was one of the things she brought up. Been a thing of hers for, shoot I dunno how long. She really wanted a play partner. When it got old just bein' me n' her, she heard of this joint, said it'd be almost like a...kinky vacation."   "So, the pacifiers, bottles, onesies-diaper changes?! You're okay with all that, even if you're not into all that?" Alan asked, bewildered.   "Eh." shrugging his shoulders, "Baby life can get boring, but not having to lift a finger is still a vacation in my book. And whatever I'm not okay with, I still got say in it. Plus, it's still pretty worth it." with Ronnie's last statement, he looked off in the distance at Renee, who was giddily rummaging through the toy bin with TJ, her giggles and smiles left Ronnie beaming. Alan was surprised not just at Ronnie's open mindedness and respect for his partner's wishes, but at his warm smile. It was the first sight of positive emotion he had seen from him since he had been there.   The tender moment was cut short though, as TJ and Renee's large sand castle was obliterated. Bits of sand hit Alan's face, thankfully none getting in his eyes. Wiping the sand away, Alan saw two green croc-clad feet standing where the sand castle had previously been. Looking down at him was Braden, who had decided it was his turn to play in the sandbox as if he were Godzilla wreaking havoc in Tokyo. He had that wide grin again , his beady eyes made him look all the more devilish, proud of his handwork.   "Aw, that looked like it took a while. Was that yours?" Braden sarcastically asked.

I literally remember doing arts and crafts in fifth grade... this brought back memories due to how well you described it. Nicely done. 

After putting Alice on the floor the girl had calmed down significantly, and stood there with her thumb already in her mouth sucking it as her mommy picked up Madison with just as much ease as she did with her. Madison's footed pajamas were taken off, Ana just smiled and said, "my my you're quite the stinky little girl aren't you, you made quite a big boom boom for Auntie." Madison didn't say a word remembering the spanking she had received from the larger and stronger woman Ana quickly went to work and Madison was soon cleaned and put into unicorn printed diaper just like Alice had on.  Madison was even put into one of Alice's unicorn themed tops.

Maddison watched as Ana changed the diaper with impressive speed and ease—though Maddison thought the mess she had cleaned up was far less significant. Ana worked quickly and efficiently; using a unicorn-print diaper, she got the little one ready for the next round. She dressed her in a pink t-shirt, leaving the diaper visible, and said, "Now we're going to your playpen in the living room. But first, Maddison, I'm going to change *you*, because Camilla will be here soon to take you straight home—you aren't staying over—so make the most of this." Ana turned to Maddison: "Now for our second stinky girl."