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  1. Critiques and Writer's Discussion

    For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.

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    For any story that uses AI in any significant fashion. See rules inside if you have used AI to decide if your story belongs here.

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  1. Criticism and Stories

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  2. The Incisors 

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  3. Joey's Pacifier 1 2

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  4. What Emma Wants 1 2

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    • Okay, now Gabby's actually pissing me off. Before I was getting a little frustrated, and found her to be overly manipulative, but this one takes the cake. This is taking it way too far. To basically lie about what the meds are, to get your way, and entirely ignore what you know about another person, for your own gain, is just cruel. Like, I understand being biased and not seeing the full picture. But now Gabby even acknowledges here that Tess doesn't want to be a baby, but that doesn't matter to Gabby, because Gabby wants her to be a baby. And lying to your fiancée to this extent is... problematic, to say the least. This is the exact same reason I hate Harley in Mommy Influencer. There are some things that are too much for me, and deliberately being selfish and ignoring the actual needs of another person - especially one dependent on you - is unacceptable. But I guess, well done for making me have such an emotional reaction.
    • About 45 minutes I was sitting in my high chair and I made a big poopoo in my already wet tykables annimooz diaper while mommy was spoon feeding me dinner. Now finished my dinner, mommy told me to go and watch TV while she finished eating hers and cleaned up the kitchen. So I'm going to continue watching Fireman Sam till mommy comes to take me for a diaper change. She's just came in now for diaper change and said I can get into my jammies as well. And If I come now I get to pick out my jammies.
    • Gabby wouldn't be that careless, would she?   137. My Cause for Concern “Fancy seeing you here.” For a moment I was disoriented, until I felt the strength of the hand on my shoulder, and identified the seductive voice. Only Ffrances would talk to me like that, and I really shouldn’t have been surprised to see her. Especially not when I was getting lunch in the charity cafeteria at the hospital, where volunteers provided often-delicious food to the overworked nurses and overstressed families of patients to raise money for whatever would make the Pine Ridge site just a little more pleasant. “I wanted to see you. I was watching the door, waiting for you to come in so I could pounce when you’re not expecting me.” “Turns out I’m still the apex predator. How did you know I would be in the café? I brought sandwiches from home today. You would have missed me if I’d actually eaten them.” “Me too. Guess I’m psychic.” I’d fixed myself a packed lunch today as well. But when I came to eat I could see that they were a bad choice. I could tell that the pâté was off as soon as I had opened the bag, and I’d sent Ffrances a text warning her to check her lunch before eating it. I’d guessed that she would go to the cafeteria if she wasn’t sure if her food was good. But it seemed that she hadn’t seen the text yet, and had come here without my advice. “Smart. But if you’re looking to ambush me, you should remember that I spend a lot of my time trying to reassure physio patients, so I need to be in the gym. That means you should be watching the back door.” “I’ll remember that next time. You’re just making it easier for me to overpower you, you know?” “Oh, I don’t think you could manage that. Not until I want you to.” Finally she released my shoulder, and sat down opposite me. She put down a tray as well, with two bowls of what looked like some kind of sausage casserole, a tall mug of frothy coffee and a little pot of tea. That reined my ego in a little, to realise that while I had been watching the door like a hawk waiting for her to arrive, she’d had time to stand in line and buy dinner for both of us. She must have been close enough to see that I didn’t already have food on the table, not just coming in through the other entrance but standing a couple of paces away without me noticing while the volunteer at the counter fixed our drinks. “I checked out that forum,” she said. “And the stories you’ve been reading, as well. And I’ve sent a private message to Little Vicky with a couple of questions that I feel I would need to ask before going to that kind of event. But there’s at least one person I know who’ll be there, so I’m pretty confident.” “That’s great,” I said with a smile. “I don’t know Vicky that well, but she’s friends with The Author’s Little Sister – that’s her username, I guess you’ve seen her – who seems like a really great person. So friendly with everyone, I’m sure you’d like her. So who do you know?” “You wouldn’t know him. Lars Enfield, one of the guys I went to for advice about incorporating hypnosis into… fun activities. He used to be a trauma therapist, but these days he makes a living writing scripts for sexy-voice hypnodommes. You know, the ones who sell CDs that are supposed to turn you into a slave or a baby for the night. Or JOI stuff, pretty popular.” “Oh, cool. I bet by now you can give him some pointers too,” I said. Despite my curiosity, I wasn’t about to ask what JOI meant. She said it like a word I should know, but I was completely in the dark. And I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to learn more. But I knew that if it was something that interested my Mistress, she would have no problems telling me. At that point, the chirp from my phone was a welcome distraction. I didn’t know what to say next, but didn’t want to make things awkward. So I sipped my drink, and looked at who was emailing me. It could well have been work related, so I knew that being a little distracted from Ffrances wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. But as it turned out, it was just Tyler Walthamstone again. I laughed at that thought. There were so many girls around Tess’s age who would probably faint at just the thought of meeting the guy. His innocent groupies, who he could corrupt however he wanted. Contrasting their obsession with my mild disappointment was kind of funny, but thinking about what he might do to those fans if he got the chance could turn my stomach. Still… I wasn’t a teen girl. I wasn’t his type. And he had something else to offer in exchange for deletion of the mythical photos. I was tempted just to delete the message, but a quick skim over the text made me think that it might be worth thinking about in more detail. I flagged it to look at later, and then glanced up to see that Ffrances was also looking at her phone. When she met my eyes again, I knew that she had read my earlier message. “Thank you,” she said. “I should have read your warning earlier. I guess we know better than to buy that brand again.” “It got us a good lunch, anyway,” I said, taking another bite of the casserole in front of me. It really was excellent, and I was glad that I had found an excuse to try it. Ffrances agreed, and we both focused on our food for a couple more minutes. But I knew there was an issue I would have to raise sooner rather than later; and this was probably the best chance I would get. “I’m worried about Tess,” I said. And that much was true. Even after everything we had done for her, my baby still felt like she had to force herself to act like a big girl. Sorting out things for Spike had only pushed her further into that mindset, but I thought I could still give her a way out if I took the choice out of her hands, and made her understand how much fun it would be to be a real baby. “She’s doing pretty well,” Ffrances said with a shrug. “And she’s playing along with being your little sometimes, isn’t she? Letting you brush her hair and that stuff. Isn’t that enough?” I nodded slowly. It was relaxing having two little girls in the house, even if Spike didn’t look much like a girl yet. And I really did feel bad about disrupting matters when everybody seemed so happy, but I still didn’t want Tess to end up holding herself back from fully accepting her little side. “I think I misunderstood Tess,” I said slowly. “When she first arrived. I saw that she had upvoted some of the links I posted on FriendSpace last year, and assumed she wanted to be a little. But I think that’s not it. The drugs, and the hypnosis… I should have listened. It’s not about childhood to her, or innocence. Not completely. It’s just… Well, a couple of days ago I was checking out a special offer from Babij, the diaper company. You know they’re pushing their store on the Friendspace Bazaar platform, this ‘Web 3.5’ thing they’re calling it.” “Yeah?” “Well, it shows if your friends are active with that store. Kind of the social marketing thing. And Tess has left a review there. And some product questions. I don’t know if they’re recent, but it made me think again about what she really wants out of this. Didn’t she keep saying that what interests her is giving up control? She even asks for advice about hiding this from us.” Ffrances took a deep breath, and then put down her fork before answering. “Look, Gabby…” she said. “I know you want Tess to be a baby. But if she’s not into regression that much, can’t you just–” “No, that’s not it,” I answered. “I’m just worried. Remember when I first suggested she could use hypnosis instead of drugs? Because there are too many side effects? Well, I think… Maybe because I leaned too hard on the babying side, I think she’s…” I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a bag from the hospital pharmacy. I didn’t say anything, just set it on the table. Inside there was a dispensing slip. The piece of paper listed the patient’s name, Tess Naylor, the name of the prescribing doctor, Dr S Lutwa, and the number of items, as well as the date and time. Nothing indicating what the items were; that was standard in case someone was trying to hide a problem from partners or family. This one was barely a week old. Ffrances glanced it over. “Gabby, if you’ve been snooping around in Tess’s room, after you promised you would treat her like an adult, I swear–” And then she went quiet as she saw what else was in the bag. She pulled three boxes out, and turned them over. Each one had a mark on the side where an issuing pharmacy’s label had been pulled off. One of them rattled a little, because it was half empty. “PerfectCalm, Ibusyneptrafil, Lysentripase… A sleep aid, a diuretic, and a muscle relaxant. Two available over the counter, but…” “I know I shouldn’t have looked,” I said. “I saw her bringing it in the other day, and she immediately tried to hide it. That made me nervous. I went into her room to check her diaper supply, you know how embarrassed she gets about asking for more. And I saw this, wedged down the side of the bed like she’s trying to hide it. I think she’s decided… Well, I don’t know. Maybe she wants to wet the bed with less childish feelings, and she’s gone back to using pills again. I know I should just let her be, but I’m worried about her. What has she told this Dr Lutwa to get this stuff? I can’t imagine why a little kid would need any of these things. Or is he the one telling her she should… It makes me sick to think of somebody you should trust pushing our little girl into some weird fetish.” “Well don’t worry about that,” Ffrances said, and took my hand. “I’ve met Doctor Lutwa before, and I kind of know her by reputation. And I can’t believe she would prescribe anything unless there was a genuine reason. I know there’s been some suggestion that synthetic lysentripases can help to reduce cramps, for example. And Tess has reported difficulty sleeping at times. But I’m going to check those reviews you mentioned. Do you think we should talk to her about this?” “I don’t know. Like you said, I’ve been prying into stuff that should be between Tess and her doctor. And I promised that I would treat her like an adult. I don’t want to break that trust, but I’m worried about her. Maybe… it’s best to just watch. See if there’s any sign she’s putting herself at risk, before we jump to conclusions. I agree, there could be a legitimate reason for those drugs. But three different meds that some of the dodgy ABDL groups recommend as a cocktail for permanent loss of bladder control? It seems a big coincidence. Sure, she said she’s more interested in losing control than being babied. But I think hypnosis is still the safer option for that. I don’t want to stick my nose in her business, but I think if we see any more to suggest that she’s lying to us about this… Is there a way to drop some subtle hints? Like, let her know that her choice is between doing it safely, or being a baby?” “I agree,” Ffrances said, with a little nod. “In some ways she is still a child. I won’t bring this up yet. But I’ll watch out more. If there’s a sign that she is still endangering her health, I’ll have to say something.” We ate  in  silence then, and it was a little less comfortable. But before I had to go back to work, Ffrances said that she was glad I had started handling things in a more mature way. And I knew that it wouldn’t be too long before Tess got a reminder of how much she needed to be a baby girl.
    • Freschetta's on sale this week. Likely Supreme since I like a little veggie matter on my pizza.
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