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    • Well to start, Hello everyone👋 I am a long time lurker and have never posted or commented on anything here before. I am a diaper lover and I feel like I have been my whole life. I'm not sure as to why I am this way but my earliest memory of liking to wear diapers had to be when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I have two younger brother on my father's side of my family and when they were young I would steal pullups and wear them😅. Something just kinda kicked in then and its really stuck with me since. Then of course after growing up a bit I went through many binge/purge cycles after I would buy my own depends from stores and after I moved out of my parents house where I would order slightly thicker stuff like Abena S2s. I'm sure we have all been there lol.  Some more background: I met my current girlfriend a little over three years ago. Not sure it matters but she is also my first girlfriend. I love this woman with all my heart and wouldn't trade her for the universe. But about 10-12 months before, all through our talking phase, and through probably a year and a half of us dating I had been on a long purge. At that point, I hadn't even thought about diapers. I feel that since I was getting all this attention and love, for whatever reason diapers weren't even a second thought. But that all changed when she told me she'd be going out of town for a couple of weeks to visit her family. From here diapers were the only thing I could think about. The binge cycle hit like an 18-wheeler. Before she left, I ordered my first tab style diapers ever to be delivered the next day. Needless to say, I had a field day.  But a few days she was supposed to come back, I had gotten drunk with some friends while playing games on our desktops and at 2 in the morning I felt that I should tell her about my deepest secret. So I sent a very long text about my DL side. I wanna say it couldn't have gone worse😭 I was called a pedo and a freak and that she didn't want to be with me anymore. *Side note: My girlfriend has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, however she was not and is not currently on any medications for it. So, she tends to have VERY strong initial reactions.* But after a day of not talking to each other at all, she texted me with an apology for her bad reaction and that she still loves me but she would need time to take in the bomb I had dropped on her and do some research of her own so that maybe she could understand me better. I said that is okay and to take all the time she needed and to ask me any questions if she had any and that I would answer to the best of my ability. But this was all dropped and I guess forgotten about. She didn't do any research nor ask me questions. And we also didn't talk about it after she got back.  P.S. I know that it was very wrong of me to keep this secret from her for so long. I realize that I should have told her this from the beginning. But at that point in my life, I would have thought that my liking to diapers was gone and done with.  Fast forward to a few months ago. I had been on another purge because of that but another binge started cooking within me. I bought more tab style diapers and hid them and would only wear when she wasn't around. Like if I had the day off and she was working. Days like that sort. And I realized that I wasn't satisfied with our previous "conversation". I wanted to actually try and talk about it this time, in person. So I did a bunch more research so that I could try and really explain myself and the community. I wanted her to know that even though I like to wear diapers, I am still her boyfriend, whom loves her so dearly and that even though I may be weird for having a kink of this sort, I am still me no matter the undergarments. And that is a side of me I am finally learning to accept for myself  as it is who I am and it will never go away, as much as she hates it. After all, I just feel so happy when I am wearing diapers. Everything really just feels so right and it feels even better to be able to accept this reality and that this really is me! I waited weeks to tell her this because I wanted to find a good time and for to be in a great mood so that I could try and nullify another strong, negative outburst. I had planned a nice date and activities to prepare. But apparently I had it in my face or maybe she just has a sixth sense for things. Because a couple days before the date I had planned, she starts accusing me of hiding something from her. Says she could feel it. She thought I was cheating on her😪 This isn't the first time she has accused me of this but the difference is that I actually didn't have anything to hide then. So when I explained that I wasn't cheating and I would NEVER do that, she just kept pressing me, asking for what I was hiding if I wasn't cheating.  So I just told her my whole shebang and I wanted to tell her at a good time. Once again met with a strong and negative reaction😭 She again came back to me later with a note she just handed to me, basically saying that she understands how I feel. To feel like you're not in your own body and to feel like you are the only one who feels the way you do. The letter ends saying she loves me and that she always will, but she will never be able to accept this part of me and that the most she can give me is to just make she the diapers are hidden so that she will never find them.  Now for my actual story time:  My girlfriend of nearly three years caught me wearing nothing but a soggy diaper in our apartment yesterday evening. I was just doing my normal day off activities as I usually do, but with a diaper on since she was working all day. She told me she got off work at seven so my normal routine it always 30 minutes before she gets off of work I clean up and shower and get changed and take out the trash. No evidence left behind. I also always prepare supper so that it is ready for us to eat once she is home. So that is what I did and by the time I finished it was around 6:00 PM. I figured i still had time before i needed to change and clean myself up so I decided I'd just go ahead and do the dishes and clean the kitchen up so that neither of us had to do it later. But I had gotten hot from being by the stove and cooking so I took my clothes off and was in just my diaper. Typically on a day like this I like to just wear a shirt and diaper🙃, but I through on shorts before cooking to protect from grease splashing. Well 15 minutes later I am in the middle of doing the dishes I hear the door unlock and open. Mind you, my gf has NEVER gotten off work early. And I really mean it when I say NEVER. I turn and see my gf just standing there mouth open and in complete shock. My heart SANK. I swear I could feel my heart literally drop to my a$$. Time felt like it was frozen. What was probably 2 seconds of disbelief felt like an eternity. I thought I would die😭. My reaction time just felt so slow. I think the shock had me moving in slow motion. I just turned back, red in the face, grabbed a blanket on the couch to cover myself and walked to the bedroom. As I walk away she says "We talked about this." I reminded her that she said in the note to just keep it hidden which in my head implied to only wear when she isn't home.  I think I was lucky she was in a good mood. Probably because she was able to get out of work early for the first time ever. I really expected her to blow up and throw me out. But she calmly came into the bedroom and sat on the bed next to me. She explained that she isn't mad or anything and that she still loves me. I couldn't even get myself to look in her direction. I just quietly say that I lover her too. She follows up with a couple of questions asking if I'm okay and if the diapers are a sexual thing. I explain to her that only sometimes I find them sexual. The main one being that I like to wear them in public with not too loose and not too tight shorts. This may be weird but the thrill of other people possibly noticing, only if they are looking hard enough, is very fun and exciting to me🫣. But I also explain to her that post nut clarity for guys is a crazy thing. And it'll REALLY have you questioning life decisions after🫠 And that even after the fact, I still choose to put on a diaper. After a little more talking, she tells me to go change and take out the trash so that we can shower and eat. I was very thankful to her for reacting the way she did and also very surprised that she even wanted to still shower with me after the fact. After everything I asked her if  it was worse than the ever imagined it to me, she said no it wasn't. She said it wasn't as bad because she works as a pharmacy tech, and she sees older people buying them all the time and can even notice sometimes if people are wearing them. Although she and I both know its for different reasons. I'm not sure where to go from here however. I don't want this to be dropped and forgotten about like my two attempts at trying to talk to her about this, but I also don't want to keep bringing this up and put her in a weird spot. Like most other DLs who have SOs, I would really just like to be able to wear around her, which was also my goal for the two other times I tried to talk to her about it. I kinda feel like now that she has seen me at my most vulnerable, and that she acted okay about it, being able to do that may be a little more feasible. I would never try and force her to do anything with diapers. She has made her point very clear on that😅 But I don't want to keep bringing it up and risk her resenting me for it. Or maybe I'm trying to take too much and I should just be happy with what I have and the occasional time I do get to wear. If you made this far, I thank you for reading as I know this is a VERY LONGGGGGG post. Any advice is welcome🙂
    • Buzz Buzz Buzz. I wake up to the alarm going off. As I wake I feel a cold feeling. I am not shocked I knew what had happened. In fact it happened a few times this week. Ever since the divorce I have been a wreck. I have been drinking a ton and passing out whenever I drank. I even lost my job and am living off of the money my daughter made as a model. That was humiliating but this cold wetness was even more humiliating. I wet the bed for the 3rd time this week. I had no choice but to try and strip the bed and wash the sheets before my daughter found out. I gathered the sheet and opened the door. As I walked in the hallway,I was greeted by my daughter.   
    • Awesome I will start it. It is under house rules 
    • Currently, I am wearing the socks but soon they are going to have to come off as my feet are sweaty.  ,
    • “If thats the case im going to be making sure you eat.” I say as we pull out of the carpark and drive the short distance to the restaurant
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