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    • 131. A Decent Proposal Tess and Spike stood back and looked at their handiwork. The spare room had started to look like someone actually lived there; much more than it had done when Tess had temporarily moved some of her stuff over. The difference had been a couple of posters and some ornaments, things that Tess hadn’t cared about enough to move them into another room. Some of the posters were for things like The Mini Miko Movie, which had thrilled toddlers around the world when it was released a couple of years ago; Tess had found them in one of the big closets in the nursery, and offered them with a laugh. They made the room feel lived in, at least, even if the impression they gave was that a baby lived there. “Oh, one more thing!” Tess said, leading Spike through to the nursery. He looked around nervously; probably remembering that the last time he’d seen this room hadn’t gone too well. But Tess reached down for a bunch of plushies gathered together on the bed, and held them out towards him. “Very… cute?” he said. “Yes. Take one. A proper housewarming gift, so I won’t be the only one with soft toys invading my sleeping space.” “I think I’d need to get to know them first,” he said, with just a little smile. “If I get to sleep with one of them. And I don’t want to break up the family either. Do they have names?” The last question was asked so seriously that Tess couldn’t help breaking out in laughter, completely shattering any tension that was left in the air. Somehow, without another word spoken, they were both handing plush ferrets to each other, almost like some slow-motion juggling performance where it was impossible to track the ever-changing groups of Dookbros in each person’s hands. The laughter didn’t stop until they heard the sound of the door downstairs opening. Tess immediately started to get nervous; they hadn’t expected Gabby and Ffrances to be back for a while longer. It seemed like the lunch date had gone very quickly, which could have meant all kinds of problems. “I thought they were going to be out most of the day?” Spike asked; but Tess was already picking up her own phone, which was sitting on the desk to charge, and looking to see if Ffrances had sent her any advance warning of their return. Of course, there was a message waiting. She had just been too busy with moving all her stuff around, and hadn’t found time to check. “Ffrances says the date went pretty well, but she wants to share her present with us.” “Present?” “Gabby got her a gift. It was supposed to be a big surprise, and I think Ffrances is expecting we’ll be surprised to see it as well. But Gabby already told me, so… just pretend we’ve got no idea. Okay? I don’t want to take away from the magic of today, not if Gabby can remain civil.” “Okay…” Spike said slowly. “So what’s she got her? I’ve really got no idea. Something she wants us to see?” “Wait and see. At least one of us can be surprised.” She could tell that Spike was going to ask more; he didn’t know how Gabby would react to see him there, and he was pretty nervous. But there wasn’t time to tell him anything more before Gabby’s voice shouted up from the kitchen. “Tess? Are you here?” “We’re home, kids!” Ffrances called too. Tess guessed that they’d already talked about the move after Gabby asked her permission. It wasn’t a certainty, but it meant that they were probably supposed to admit they were both there. “Coming!” she called back, and hurried down the stairs, with Spike proceeding at a more careful pace behind her. She saw Gabby smile when she saw her, and then immediately saw that same smile fade. “What’s he doing here?” Gabby asked. “I said you should treat this place as your own, but you really shouldn’t be alone with a boy without asking permission.” “She asked yesterday,” Ffrances answered. “You said that it’s up to me, because you think I won’t approve. But I said I trust Tess to decide what’s best for her friend. Are you changing your mind now?” “But I said I’d ask you!” Gabby protested, turning around to face Ffrances. “I wanted to tell her that you said no, so…” “I didn’t say no. Were you intending to lie to Tess? Because it might surprise you to learn this, but I actually care about her mental health. She asked me, and I said I approve. Then she asked you, and you said that it’s okay for Spike to be here as long as me and her parents approve. So I called John to double check, and he gave his blessing. So… where’s the problem?” “It’s not…” Gabby started, and then tried again. “I mean, I didn’t… I thought you’d say…” “This is still your house. And of course you can say that you changed your mind. In which case they’re welcome to stay at my place. But between them they have an awful lot of stuff, so it might take a long time to move.” Tess looked up and watched Gabby’s expression as the suggestion started to sink in. She could have Tess and Spike living here; or they could both move to Ffrances’s house in Pine Ridge. That was exactly what Tess had been planning to offer her as an alternative, but the way she said it made it clear that Ffrances had already mentioned this. Gabby knew she was on thin ice, and she didn’t want to lose her part-time baby for good. Even if Ffrances could be her little girl, it wouldn’t be the same. “I was just surprised…” she said. “You didn’t say today.” “Sorry,” Tess said with a shrug. She knew that she had to put on a strong face. She couldn’t show any sign of weakness today. “I thought it would be more convenient, so we’re not getting underfoot moving in when you’re doing stuff.” “And it wasn’t too convenient having him at my house while I’m not there so often,” Ffrances added. “Anyway! Gabby’s given me a wonderful present today, and I thought it would only be fair for us all to look at it together. We’re like a family now, in every way that matters, so I wanted to share.” “What is it?” Spike asked. Gabby had to fight back the impulse to glare at him, like he was an unwelcome interloper here. Probably only Tess, who was paying close attention to her cousin’s expression, even noticed. But maybe that was progress of a sort too: She was trying to be polite around him, and doing her best to hide her distrust. Tess promised herself that she was going to try not to bring up anything that would make Gabby more upset, because she didn’t want to spoil what would be a very special gift for Ffrances. As they filed into the lounge, Gabby rested a hand on Tess’s shoulder, and whispered for a second. “I was expecting her to read it in the restaurant. There’s actually a perfect spot there. But she wanted to share it with you. I thought maybe we could be a family, and I could read it to my little girls. But I’m not sure what the plans are now. You said… When you came to the office yesterday, you told me he was moving in. Did you actually…” “Yes. He’s been at Ffrances’s house for the last few days. But I don’t want to spoil your plans. I’m happy to still be the baby, if you don’t mind Spike being here too. He doesn’t know about the… the problem that first got me into this stuff, but he’s pretty open minded. He’s not going to be a disruptive influence here.” “You can be a little girl if you want,” Gabby said. “And I’d love it, because it would feel more like we’re a real family. But today, the main thing is that everybody is happy. It’s your choice.” Tess nodded. As much as she wanted to be an adult, she also wanted to keep Gabby happy; and she knew from past experience that her cousin was extremely unlikely to get angry with the baby around. Tess didn’t get changed properly, but she pulled on some fuzzy knee socks and put some hair clips on that gave the impression of fancy ribbons in her hair. After a moment of hesitation, she grabbed a pacifier as well, and slipped it into her pocket. Just in case she needed to make herself a bit calmer in order to ease the tension in the room around her. She came back to find Ffrances sitting on the couch with a stiff envelope in her hands; Spike sitting on one side of her, and an empty space on the other. Tess hopped up, and peered at the envelope as if she had no idea what was inside. She could see the logo of Malarkey and Sons at one corner, so she would have known that it was a comic book. And given Ffrances’s excitement, there was a chance that she would have guessed what it was in any case. But Tess couldn’t help wondering how Gabby had persuaded Isaac to help with a present like this, when he could have just sold the precious book to Ffrances directly. “Is this one you’ve been looking for?” Spike was asking, trying to sneak a glance through the narrow opening at the top of the envelope. “Are you okay with us reading it too? I mean… is it one we’re going to understand, because I haven’t read as much as–” Then he went silent as Ffrances reverentially slid her gift out of the envelope. The newest comic book in the Millhouse Underground world; the eagerly awaited Golden Ring. Spike knew he wanted to read it now; they had all been looking forward to its release for months, but they hadn’t known this morning whether the release would be today or later in the week. Except that Gabby seemed to have found out early, if she had been planning the date for quite some time. Her contacts with Claughton Innovative, the movie sponsors, must have been able to get her advance news that was out of reach for even the most dedicated of fans. The front cover showed an image of a masked figure in what looked like a blizzard, but with yellow sticky notes adorning the corners as if the illustration was a picture of a picture. As Ffrances laid it down on the coffee table, they all leaned closer to read the little notes, and speculate about what they might mean. Ffrances’s focus on the page was complete, and it was clear that she intended to analyse every detail and every word before she would consider turning the page. They would get through the story slowly, but they wouldn’t miss a single thing. It was easy to get lost in the details with a story like that. As well as just reading it, Ffrances wanted to analyse every difference in a story that was effectively a remake of a remake. The third iteration of the same plot, finally integrated into the Millhouse world without the interference of publishing executives or other interlopers. It took half an hour to fully take in the first page, and all the time Gabby was leaning over from the other side of the coffee table. She was sitting on the floor, the least comfortable position, but she seemed to be just as excited by the story as Ffrances was. She’d obtained the book, but then not had the time to read it herself before giving it to her girlfriend. Now that she was starting to get into the comics, that was a real show of dedication. And she seemed just as happy to see Tess’s smile when she glanced up. But Tess got a feeling that there was something she still wasn’t taking in here. Like Gabby was still waiting for something, and Tess couldn’t begin to guess what was going through that woman’s mind. Ffrances turned over to the fifth page, and smoothed it down with one gloved hand. And even from a little sigh, they could all hear how excited she was. This time, there was a picture of the technomancer Mnemonic Harry falling, spread across two pages, while printouts of other people’s emails surrounded him. This was how MK often likes to depict magic, so they probably weren’t real scraps of paper, but that would be a representation of how the character saw it when his soul was plugged directly into the Internet. And in the maelstrom, there were probably a hundred different messages of which some part was visible. Knowing how MK loved to pack in the little surprises for his fans, they could expect that some messages shown would contain information that the characters needed to see right now; some would be relevant to the other stories he was planning for the future, or aborted projects that might never see the light of day unless enough fans found the right questions to ask. Some of them would even be messages from outside the Millhouse universe; out-of-context fragments of discussions from the online discussion boards where the fans liked to hang out. Even if the content of the message was mundane enough to be completely unrecognisable by anyone except the person who sent it, they were a sign that the artist really did read through all the conversations between his fans. And sometimes, there would even be at least one message answering a fan’s question about the stories, but couched in metaphors so that anybody who didn’t know the original question wouldn’t be able to extract its meaning. There were so many of them, and Ffrances knew that she had to comb through every last one, to be sure she didn’t miss Kernigan’s mention of a friend she should congratulate, or some well-hidden foreshadowing for events later in the book. She started at the top left, while Tess and Spike each started looking at the emails closest to their own corners of the page. Gabby leaned back a little, and Tess looked up again. She didn’t want to think that her cousin was getting bored. Extracting every detail from the comics was something that Ffrances loved, but it could surely wait until later in order to avoid spoiling the mood after their date. “We’re not leaving you out, are we?” Ffrances asked, but Gabby was still smiling as she shook her head. “Not at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen both of you so excited about anything before. And I’m not so good at spotting the things that are worth thinking about more. So I’d rather just watch your smile, until you find one that you can explain to a relative beginner. Trust me, I’m happy to be a spectator for this part.” And she sounded genuine enough that Ffrances couldn’t have looked away if she wanted to. They read through all those messages, trying to find the ones that interested them most, or that might give hints to where the story might be going. Ffrances was most interested by a couple of messages between old Mr Malarkey’s neighbours, which she thought might suggest that the man wasn’t actually a lich. That caused some confusion for Tess, who had assumed him to be a vampire, but Ffrances could quickly tell her which books she would need to read in order to have a proper perspective on the differences between returned dead and undead monsters. Then she saw another message that she was sure would give a first hint to the book’s climax, and she explained at length how she thought this story might end up differing from the originals. But this time, she was interrupted by Spike. “This one’s for Ephemeral Addict,” he said, pointing to a message near the bottom right corner of the page. “Huh?” Ffrances gasped, immediately losing her train of thought. “That’s me! Gabby, look! One of the emails included in the maelstrom swarm is for me. It must be a part of a forum post that mentions me or something, or MK picked my name when he needed some random bystander. But… wow, this means that he really noticed me. What does it say, Spike?” “I think…” he started, then swallowed and started again. “It’s addressed to you, so you should read it.” While he was saying that, Tess’s eyes glanced across the parts of the text that Spike’s glove didn’t hide, and her eyes went wide. She couldn’t resist looking up again while Ffrances actually read the message. “Ephemeral Addict,” she read. “I hope you are enjoying the ring I selected for my gift. But there is one question I must ask. W–w–Will you marry me?” She looked up, thinking that the message was the last thing she had possibly expected. But then her eyes met Gabby’s, and turned back down to the ring box in her outstretched hand. “Please,” Gabby said. “I want us to be a real family, and I want you to know that I’m yours forever. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of over the last few years, but who hasn’t? So maybe Harry is the best character to pass on my message to you. He’s had a whole three volumes to redeem himself, so maybe I can do the same. Ffrances, I love you. And I want this to be our family. Will you marry me?”
    • I'm thinking Jalapeno chicken Ramen cups with the deli breast turkey slices from Oscar Meyer. Subject to change without prior notice and or permissions.
    • Didn't say anything before but this story is like crack, please keep it coming!
    • I case it gets hit by a meteorite?? 🫣  
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