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  • Posts

    • Raerz has been hinting about the Rebels on their social media. I expect a comeback
    • Pain is never good, but back pain when having to walk, bend over or do even minor chores isn't good.
    • I think most of us have been there. Desperate for that diaper feel, but with no diapers to scratch the itch. So what did we do? We tried different things: toilet paper, paper towels, or just regular towels. Maybe you were even brave enough to ruin a whole pillow. Still, the feeling was never the same as a real diaper, no matter how many paper towels you used. This is a story about that, about revisiting that first moment, just to see what went wrong, again.   Single ply nostalgia   I opened the door to the motel room and flicked the lights on. The place was clean, ish. Nothing to write home about. Neither good nor bad. It would have to do for the couple of nights I was here. I rolled my suitcase in, closed and locked the door behind me, and plopped down on the bed, which immediately started to creak. I found a comfortable enough position and grabbed the remote. “Alright, let’s see what’s on tonight,” I said to myself. I turned the TV on and browsed through the channels. After flicking through the same ten channels for half an hour, I turned the TV off. I got off the bed and grabbed my suitcase. I unzipped it and opened it all the way. It was a light suitcase. I was only supposed to be here for a couple of days, inspecting some buildings, and then I would be on my way back again. Luckily, I had all expenses paid, even for this somewhat shitty motel room. Still, if it’s free, you don’t hear me complaining. Sadly, this job did keep me away from my family for a few days to a week every month. And while I missed them dearly, I did get the opportunity to delve into my hobby, my niche interest. To feel a little more like me. I opened another zippered flap and grabbed a dark ziplock bag from it. I opened the bag on the bed, and inside were two white MegaMaxes, with a booster for each. I took one of each and unfolded them on the bed. I started to undress, folding everything neatly on the one available desk. Once undressed, I grabbed the MegaMax and twisted and turned it a little to fluff it up. I laid it down again and put the booster in the middle. I carefully lay down on top of it and fastened the tapes nice and snug. The top ones I turned slightly downward. I got up and adjusted the diaper and tapes some more. I walked over to the mirror, seeing a lean, middle-aged guy reflected back at me. I inspected the diaper a little more, letting my hands explore every inch of it. I crouched down a little and checked the leak guards. I ran my fingers along them, nudging them into place where needed. I inspected my diaper again and lightly slapped my diapered butt in approval. Next, I walked over to the bathroom, hoping to find a glass next to the sink. Luckily, there was one, and I kept filling it and drinking until I had enough. I walked back to the bed, closed the suitcase, put it next to the bed, and lay down. I grabbed the remote again and turned the TV on, settling on some B-grade action movie I might have seen twenty years ago. While I was watching the movie, every time I felt the pressure build in my bladder, I released it into the MegaMax. I kept doing this, even after crawling under the blankets, until I fell asleep. The next morning, I awoke in a full, used MegaMax. I disabled the alarm on my phone, turned the TV on, and watched a morning show. I kept lying in bed, embracing the bulk of the diaper around my crotch and butt. Here and there, I slowly caressed it, feeling the warmth. My second alarm went off, and I lazily walked over to the bathroom. I dropped the heavy MegaMax on the bathroom floor. I turned the shower on and let it heat up while I balled up the used diaper. It felt warm and heavy in my hands. I had to admit, I was a little bit proud of my work. I rolled the diaper out of the bathroom like a bowling ball and stepped into the now-hot shower. I quickly scrubbed myself clean and ran a razor over my face. Usually this was enough to keep the beard at bay. Every once in a while, I went to a barber who trimmed everything neatly and gave me a proper shave.   Once done, I dried myself off and walked back to the bed. I put the suitcase on it and laid out the clothes for the day. I dressed quietly while watching the morning news. Not that there was anything of interest on it, just the local weather and the local traffic jams. At least the newscasters seemed to be having a good time.   I tied my shoelaces, grabbed the used diaper off the floor, and disposed of it in a trash bag I had brought with me. I tied the end in a loose knot and put the bag back in the suitcase. Not that I was afraid of housekeeping spotting the bag and the diaper in it. They usually only came when I had already checked out. Still, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I took my work suitcase out of the bigger one and inspected its contents. I checked that my tablet worked and looked up the address and details for the day. Once I had all the details, I turned the tablet off and put it back. I zipped up my suitcase and swung it over my shoulder, heading out the door. I would probably find a breakfast place on the way.   Work went alright that day. There was a problem with the keys, but then again, it wasn’t really my problem. I just had to wait a little longer. I told the fellow I didn’t mind, as I was in no rush, and to take it easy. After the door had been opened, I walked in and quickly went through the place. I entered my findings into the tablet and thanked the man for his time. Then I was on to the next one. That’s how I filled the day. After that, I went to a local steakhouse where I ate my dinner alone. Not that I minded. I liked watching the other people eat, having their lives on display. It was like watching TV, but without most of the drama. After I paid and left a generous tip, within my allowances, I called it a night.   Back at the motel room, I immediately stripped down, put on the last MegaMax with a booster, and repeated the night before. After I inspected two buildings the next day, I would be on my way back home. Back to my family. “Not before I abuse this one,” I said to myself while patting the still-dry front. While I watched TV, I slowly filled up the MegaMax. After some time, I drifted off to sleep with the TV still on.   The next morning, I repeated the previous morning’s routine. I balled up the diaper, stepped into the shower, and got dressed afterward. While I was packing everything, my phone rang. I picked it up and saw that my boss was calling me. “Hi Sam,” I said immediately after I accepted the call. “Morning, Benjamin, how is it going over there?” he asked. Sam calling while I was on a trip wasn’t unusual, but usually it was in the afternoon while I was on the job, not in the morning. “Doing alright here. I’m almost out the door and on my way to the last few buildings,” I replied. “Ah, good,” Sam said. “While you’re there, can you be bothered to stay one more night? The project manager added a few more buildings to the list that need checking out,” he continued in a gentle voice, trying to soften the blow. I let out a tiny sigh and answered. “Sure, that’s fine,” I said while I sat down on the bed. “Send me the details and I’ll add them to my trip.” “Hate to be doing this, Ben.” “I know, I know, it’s alright,” I said. I knew it wasn’t Sam’s fault. Knowing him, he had probably done everything he could to delay it a little, so that either I could go later or someone else would have to check those buildings. “I’ll tell the project manager he owes you one now.” “Dinner for two would be nice. You know, to make it up to my wife too.” “I’ll make that suggestion.” “Thanks, send me the details. See you in a couple of days.” “No, thank you, Benjamin,” Sam said, and hung up. I let myself fall onto my back on the bed and let out another deep sigh. “Well, there goes the whole week,” I said to the ceiling. I checked the details Sam had sent over. It wasn’t too bad, it only added one extra day to my trip. I was a little bummed that I hadn’t planned for an extra day’s worth of diapers. I would have to figure something out. I lay there for a couple of minutes. No need to rush now. I would just end up here anyway. In the meantime, I called my wife to let her know about the whole ordeal. She wasn’t happy with the news either and wished someone else could have gone. I told her the project manager was going to make it up to us, one way or another. Not that it was set in stone yet, but I was going to take her out anyway. Once I was ready, I got up and left my room. At the front desk, I arranged to stay one more night at the motel. I would sort out my diaper situation later that day.   After I was done inspecting the buildings and had zipped my tablet back into its case, I went out to grab a bite at a Mexican-style place. I ordered fajitas with a beer and slowly ate my dinner while looking around at the other patrons. When I finished, I paid and went back to my car. Before I went back to my motel room, I needed to visit a convenience store for a beer in the room, a couple of snacks, and, of course, diapers. I really should have brought a few spare ones with me, just in case something like this happened. I drove to the nearest store and went in. I grabbed everything I needed and quickly visited the aisle with the adult diapers and incontinence pads. Not that it was a great selection: no MegaMax, sadly, and not much else worth taking home. My only options were pull-ups or a brand of shitty diapers I had never heard of. I grabbed a pack of each, plus a few other essentials for tonight.   I drove back to the motel and dumped all the stuff from the convenience store on the bed. I dropped the six-pack of beer in the fridge and put a bag of potato chips on top of it. I examined the other stuff on the bed and let out a sigh. “It’s not a boosted MegaMax, but it’ll have to do,” I said while holding the package of store-brand pull-ups. It had been a long time since I had worn one of these. At the store, it had kind of made me nostalgic for a simpler, if not necessarily easier, time: those first few weeks or months of exploring this kink, trying to find the best diapers. Back then, though, diaper choices were limited. It was either a pull-up or a medical one that wasn’t as good. Combine that with a lack of money and having to sneak a package of those past my parents and siblings, and it was like finding a unicorn.   That was also one of the reasons why I had grabbed a couple of rolls of paper towels and a roll of garbage bags, with some duct tape. Before I could successfully sneak a package past my parents, dodge my siblings, and hide it somewhere none of them would look, I would improvise a diaper. I think many of us did. The urge to wear one was simply too great to withstand, even though every one of those attempts at a makeshift diaper ended in disappointment.   Either way, I was about to relive those moments, just for the sake of it. I tossed the package of pullups back on the bed and started undressing myself. I tore one bag off the roll and cut some holes in it. I had bought one of the thickest kinds so it wouldn’t rip so easily. I put the bag on the way one would put on underwear. I had cut the holes a little too small, so they sat snug around my legs, which meant less chance of leaks. Although a leak was bound to happen eventually. I put the top of the garbage bag around my waist and inspected it quickly.   “This will have to do,” I said to myself. I grabbed a roll of paper towels, tore the sheets off one by one, and put them into the bag, trying to distribute them evenly around and under my body. After the first roll was used up, I grabbed another one and did the same, until the garbage bag looked very big and cartoonish. I grabbed the roll of duct tape and started wrapping it around my waist, sealing the bag shut. I did the same around my legs, just to be sure. The bag was big enough that I wasn’t taping any skin. I tore the tape off and dropped the roll on the bed.   I cleared the stuff from the bed, shoving the packaging and the receipt back into the plastic bag from the store. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and the bag of chips from on top of it, and lay down. The paper towels crinkled under me like a pile of dry leaves. I shifted around until the noise settled, propped two pillows against the headboard, and found the remote. I turned on the TV, this time settling on a slasher movie, probably the fifth or sixth installment, judging by the quality. A masked man was already working his way through the cast, and nobody in it had the sense to just leave the house. The black bulge of my diaper looked pretty good from this point of view. The duct tape shone silver in the light of the TV. I gave the front of it a few taps, knowing that it was all cosmetic. One pee in it and it would all slump into one lukewarm mess. Still, it was better than nothing.   I finished one beer and grabbed another, feeling the pressure build in my bladder. I slowly released a little, looking down and hoping it wouldn’t leak. The paper towels rustled as they took the first of it, a soft, muffled sound. Nothing seeped, nothing dripped. I stayed completely still, as if the bag could be startled. After waiting a couple of minutes, I deemed it a success and slowly released some more. It caved in a little more this time, but not as badly as I had thought it would. This took me back to one of those first diapers I wore. I was seventeen and so desperate to do something, anything. It didn’t matter that it was just a garbage bag and some paper towels, or even a few normal towels. I even ruined a pillow once. I had to bury it in the backyard, hoping my parents wouldn’t find out. To my knowledge, that pee-soaked thing is still buried in that backyard.   I shook my head a little. I had thought I had troubles back then. I let out a small chuckle. A lot had changed. Diapers, for example, were now pretty good. Some even had a cute print on them and could hold a couple of wettings. I glanced at my phone on the nightstand. No new messages. Back home, the evening probably consisted of dishes and an argument about homework, and I was here, wearing a garbage bag around my waist. The contrast should have bothered me more than it did. I went back to my beer, my chips, and my horror movie. During the movie, I let out tiny streams of pee into the diaper, or at least I called it a diaper, since it functioned as one. I watched it slump more and more into itself. I felt the first paper towels give way against my hip, soft and warm, like a snowman in April. I decided to head to the bathroom before it was too late. There, I emptied my entire bladder into it. It immediately started to leak, and before I knew it, the diaper hung around my waist like a sad little lump of plastic and wet paper towels. I carefully ripped the duct tape loose and let the mess hit the bathroom floor. I quickly rinsed myself in the shower, and while toweling off, I grabbed a garbage bag from the roll and shoved the wet mess inside it. When I was dry enough, I opened the package of pull-ups and held one in my hands. The padding felt stiff and wooden, almost like a plank compared to a MegaMax. I shrugged. There was nothing else to do but wear these. I crumpled the padding a little, hoping it would soften. I stepped into it and pulled it up snugly. It felt alright against my skin. Not that it was going to hold my bladder contents, I was afraid. I grabbed another beer and returned to the movie, which had entered its third and final act. Once the movie had ended and I had finished the beer, I went to the bathroom and got ready. I brushed my teeth, went to the toilet, and cleaned up a little more. I crawled back into bed with the still-dry pull-up on and quickly fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up in a still dry pull-up. I lay there for a moment, listening to the heater rattle. Without bothering to get up, I carefully filled it up. It was warm, at least. That was about all it had going for it. Where the MegaMax would have hugged me tightly, embracing me, the pull-up simply hung on, like a handshake from a stranger.   I peeled it off and balled it up like the others. I put it in another garbage bag and set it down next to the sad little lump from the night before. I stood there for a second, looking at the bags. I thought about the pillow in my parents’ backyard. Somewhere in this town, a dumpster was about to get a new secret.   My phone buzzed on the nightstand while I was zipping up my suitcase. A message from my wife: Safe drive home. Bring pizza. I looked at it a little longer than I needed to. Then I typed back that I would be home by dinner, and that I would bring two pizzas. I double checked the room to see if everything was alright and clean enough. I dumped the garbage bags and the unused pull-ups in the dumpster behind the building. I was almost sad I hadn’t tried the pillow diaper. Perhaps next time. I went to the front desk, dropped off my keys, got into my car, and drove away. Halfway down the highway, I made a mental note. One extra diaper next time. Two, to be safe. And maybe a booster too.  
    • I'm so hungry for spaghetti and meat sauce but I'm sticking to my "No Potato, No Pasta" diet.
    • Probably 40+ years ago there was a diaper made in Canada called Kay Plus.  This was before SAP was standard in most diapers and this was very thick and soft.  The diaper didn't compress or clump and fall apart.  I have no idea what they used for padding but it was amazing.  Only had one pack for a very short time.  Also wish Rearz would make the Lil Rebels diaper print with the skull and crossbones again.
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