Is this really a welcoming community of diaper lovers?

[kinkygaybottom]

Because so far, it has been a rather poor experience as a newbie.  When I first found here, I thought I had found a home, others similar, and could learn, get tips, listen to others, and maybe even get some support for something that is so new and scary.

I have posted on the forums a number of times, and apart from one thread of interest, not much else interaction from others.

I regularly jump in chat, say hi, say bye, be pleasant, and try to chat with others.

So many times have said things, to people, only to be completely ignored, many times just left there, and felt worthless.

Generally how I feel form this community is worthless, like I am not welcome, I am new, I do not fit in the inner click, so it feels like until I prove my worthiness, I will not be accepted or welcome.

Is this generally how it works on here, if so, will pack my bags and leave, because so far, very few members have made me feel at all welcome.

[Mark84]

I’m sorry that your experience hasn’t been great so far. I recently made a post where several people proceeded to insult me because I’m married to a vanilla woman who doesn’t want to participate in my ABDL side, but allows me to from time to time. It’s incredibly frustrating that people seem to lack the simple understanding that we’re all different and there is no one prescription for how to go through life as someone who enjoys wearing diapers or age play or whatever it is. How hard is it to just be nice? In these forums, a little harder than you’d expect.

[~Brian~]

30 minutes ago, kinkygaybottom said:

Because so far, it has been a rather poor experience as a newbie.  When I first found here, I thought I had found a home, others similar, and could learn, get tips, listen to others, and maybe even get some support for something that is so new and scary.

I have posted on the forums a number of times, and apart from one thread of interest, not much else interaction from others.

I regularly jump in chat, say hi, say bye, be pleasant, and try to chat with others.

So many times have said things, to people, only to be completely ignored, many times just left there, and felt worthless.

Generally how I feel form this community is worthless, like I am not welcome, I am new, I do not fit in the inner click, so it feels like until I prove my worthiness, I will not be accepted or welcome.

Is this generally how it works on here, if so, will pack my bags and leave, because so far, very few members have made me feel at all welcome.

@kinkygaybottom

Hey man:  I know that it can be hard:  However, you have to be patient, make friends and interact, and see where that takes you.  You can't expect to be a ht the minute you post:  This community is diverse, and has a lot of different people, with a lot of differing experiences, and it takes time to build up your friends lists, and get to know others well in the community.  I came here in August of 2019, because after 24 years of lurking, I finally made the decision that I needed help, and I needed diapers:  I KNEW of this community for 24 years, and i was scared to post here, and admit what I was feeling, because I didn't understand it.

So, last year, I started to post, I started to chat, and i watched and interacted:  I posted my feelings, and I got some responses: I gave advice, and I have accepted a lot of it:  I don't think that I felt "normal" per se, until others that are here let me know that my feelings are NOT strange, weird or wrong.  This community is very supportive, and as far as I see it, has helped me to understand what I am dealing with, and HOW to deal with it.

In my mind, you have to keep a positive attitude, and just keep posting and interacting:  As you continue to do this, you will gain a following, of people who may agree with you, or they may not agree with you - You are indeed new here, and that is cool:  However, in order to gain a following, you just need to keep posting and chatting. There are times where I posted and I didn't get a lot of responses either.  If that happens, I don't consider it being ignored - I chalk that up to someone may not be interested in what I posted. 

You ARE a member Here and I welcome you! Just remember, give it some time - there are many of us, and we are diverse:  some of us like diapers, some are incontinent, some are DL/AB or whatever, and wear and use for whatever reasons, but we SUPPORT each other, good times and bad -and we may be feeling dejected or down, but we ARE a community, and we are NOT "worthless".

Brian

[Little Sherri]

I'm sorry you feel that way, @kinkygaybottom; my experiences here have generally been good, but not always. There is a pretty vast swath of humanity here, and while a lot of them have been great, some have been jerks, and some of the ones who are great are also busy, and they may not of had time to say hi, as of yet. I joined and then basically said and did nothing for about a year, and then I waded into the chat, and that can definitely be hit and miss. Sometimes I felt like everyone was talking around me, and I'd try to interject, and then get ignored, but, after a couple of cracks at it, some nice person engaged me in conversation, and the next thing I knew, I was going back and forth with everyone. And then the next time I went in, they were all talking about video games, of which I know nothing, and I went back again a couple of days later and there was a great conversation going about parenting. Or restaurants. Or sometimes, diapers. 

I wouldn't take it personally, and I would definitely give it a few more chances before writing the whole place off. I have found some great people here, people who have, quite honestly, changed my life, and helped me deal with some major issues that I've struggled with. And that have made fun of me and cracked jokes and disagreed with me politically. You gotta take the good with the bad. Also, for me at least, I have to realize that sometimes I'm the old guy in the room, sometimes I'm the young guy in the room, and a lot of the time, I'm pretty vanilla relative to some. But overall, it's been fun, and it's kept me coming back. 

Feel free to reach out to me if you like. Cheers. 

[~Brian~]

13 minutes ago, Little Sherri said:

 I wouldn't take it personally, and I would definitely give it a few more chances before writing the whole place off. I have found some great people here, people who have, quite honestly, changed my life, and helped me deal with some major issues that I've struggled with. And that have made fun of me and cracked jokes and disagreed with me politically. You gotta take the good with the bad. Also, for me at least, I have to realize that sometimes I'm the old guy in the room, sometimes I'm the young guy in the room, and a lot of the time, I'm pretty vanilla relative to some. But overall, it's been fun, and it's kept me coming back. 

Feel free to reach out to me if you like. Cheers. 

@Little Sherri

True words:  i agree with everything you say here:  There are great people here, who have shared their experiences, stories and advice with me and others.  Without their understanding, guidance and advice, i think I'd be questioning my sanity, because I have had feelings for diapers for a long time, but I couldn't really understand the ***WHY***.  It took me 24 years to understand that, and because of the people here, and the diverse swath of individuals that come here, I believe that I am better person, because I understand the WHY, or I empathize with people in similar situations.  There are jerks sometimes online, but your learn to deal with them, and to be able to not let them bother you - This place has changed my life, and I am grateful, because I don't have to be afraid, and I don't have to hide what is obvious - I also don't have to feel guilty because I like, use, wear or enjoy the fact that I have diapers.  I also don't have to deny myself, or second guess myself anymore - I am an incontinent diaper lover!

How did I make this decision?  It was because of my feelings, and my experiences, and because there are people out there that feel the same way, and I understand why and how they feel.  Don't take it personally, @kinkygaybottomwe all have our bad days, and days where we feel really good:  Diapers helped me, and I am sure that they will help YOU as you continue your journey, and if you need support, we are here for you

Brian

[oznl]

The "chat" section really is a whole other universe.  Like @Little Sherri , I've tried it once or twice but quickly realised I  was probably more than twice the age of most people on it and that I had a VERY different communication style.

I did blog once on my chat experience (you have to click on the "May 7" entry below to see it):

I haven't been back ?

For real-time communications, there's a Zoom meeting that a guy on Fetlife hosts.  I've been to that.  It's not like I don't have time these days.  Time zones aren't super good for the UK though.  It runs every day at 9pm US central time.

Alternatively, maybe we should have like a "radio sched" when we know that others we might be interested in chatting with are actually online.

I don't get THAT much feedback myself on the rapidly-turning-into-a-novel "Strange Days" thread but the view count on it tells me that it's read quite a bit.  Sometimes it would be nice to hear more from the audience so I get you're point.

You can try the "@" trick to name people - that let's them know that you're either referring to them or maybe would like some kind of response.  That flags on the site so that users can see.  It's easy to miss posts otherwise.

 

[astrodiaper]

Standard disclaimer, I can only speak for myself. 
I know that there is some instances where I want to respond to some posts, but as I start to write my response, I start going elsewhere or start feeling like that somewhere, I lost what I want to say, or feel it would be easier to use my laptop, rather than my phone, and just forget. (I’m at work more often than not while I’m on this site.)  Like some others I’ve went dark. (2016 to rather recently.)

The other part of it is that not really too much is going on here that I can speak to or relate to. While I don’t mind responding on the variations of “how did you get into diapers?”, because there may be something I may be learning about myself as I read and answer. But, again, I’m a single guy, living by myself. I can’t really speak to having a S.O. or kid almost catching me and thankfully, I haven’t really explain the diapers outside of here. The most I can respond to on a consistent basis is Word Association, and even then, sometimes I got nothing.  

[AbabeBill]

I think you can see, there are some here, who truly are willing to interact, and be friendly. Sometimes you can run into clicks, or seeming rude people, like anywhere. Especially in chat, people get in with others they are familiar with, and sometimes forget, it’s an open forum for everyone. I personally, stay mostly away for the chat. I’m not to fond of going there. Just to much going on in there sometimes, and your view, or subject gets obscured. That can be off putting for anybody. 
I think I know how you might feel, I always try to make as many people feel at home here, as I can. I constantly post and welcome people in the Newby forum. Hopefully, so they do get at least a few, who care they have showed up, and are saying hi. Many times, I’ve posted in newby forums, (on other sites) told about myself, and no one responded. I felt kinda bad about it, but it goes that way sometimes, for one reason or another. People get busy, come and go, ignore any new people, cause they don’t want to take time, or just can’t. Anyway, maybe you might stick it out with this place a bit more, as you can see, there’s a few people who care you are here. ? 

[Transfusionelle]

Kinky I have spoken to you many times in chat and you seem like a nice, quiet and sweet person. I have been here only seven short months and have made many friends and people to chat with. If you stay in a chat room ten minutes at a shot you aren't going to make many friends. You're saying you feel worthless before you even started to get to know anyone. You have written 76 posts and expect people are gonna jump by the droves to answer. There are people here that have written thousands of posts and haven't gotten any type of recognition. Some of them don't dare go in chatroom for fear of ridicule or being shunned. I have written only over 100 posts and have gotten minimal responses. To be very honest I sometimes question going in the chatroom because there are many that will refuse to speak to a sissy. Yes the year 2020 is here and Many people still find being a sissy and proud kind of twisted. There are also many homophobic people that refuse to read anything written by a sissy. I read many and probably all of @AbabeBill greetings to new comers here, and I applaud him for being so welcome and genuine in his words. @kinkygaybottom I wear diapers for a completely different reason than many here but in doing so I grew to love them. I wear because I work long hours standing on my feet and seldom get to use a bathroom. I am a bartender by trade. Being there for my patrons is money in my pocket, and dressing is part of what I do, and I am damn good at it. Don't be discouraged by a few bad apples !!!  I have given you advise on many of your posts, though we don't agree on some things we do share our love and comfort of diapers. My wife @Evelyn Dellcerro has also spoken to you many times and has given you words of encouragement. Saying the community is worthless is not gonna get you any friends sweetie. No one is ignoring you and please respond to me if you really want to have a chat. I love my wife and I love this site and wont let no one or anyone get me down. I will go down fighting baby !!!

[deacon]

I also have had problems with people interacting with me. I like wearing cloth diapers and locking plastic or rubber pants but I also push the button further by trying other things such as cleaning house dressed as a maid, yes in diapers and locking rubber pants, long walks in diapers and short short but not showing the diapers and many other things. I do not sit in the house waiting for apoop as most of these do.  I like to communicate with others that enjoy this type of activity and read what they do and likke.  

[AwakenEvil]

You seem to be acting like you created an account and now everyone should acknowledge you. It took me YEARS to get acknowledge as a community member here in DD and the bigger community as a whole. You post about asking is this a good place just screams " Look at Me! Look at Me!" but honestly I am always in the chatroom and I rarely see you ever speak, and when I do its its HI, Bye, and the typical "Diaper BS". I can't recall any single conversation part that you added to others lives, and I could be wrong but I can tell you just by talking to several members that have posted here from @~Brian~ @Transfusionelle @Little Sherri I have learned a great deal about their lives and their interests. Unfortunately with you, I can't say I know anything about you to even say I relate, or I have a peek interest. You need to step up and get noticed by your actions of words in the chatroom if you want people to recognize you and be interactive with the members there, not the other way around.

[Alex Bridges]

I don’t think this forum is, generally speaking, all that active. The subforums that get a lot of activity are stories and role play. The other subforums tend to have a handful of threads that get most of the attention.

In other words, if no one comments on your post, it’s not a reflection on how people feel about you.

If you’re looking for community here, my advice is to talk about things other than diapers and reach out to others directly rather than making a post and waiting for folks to respond.

Also, DD is just one part of the ABDL community. If you don’t have a Fetlife profile, create one. I’ve found it to be the place to meet people because it’s where people make arrangements for IRL events like munches and play parties. You’ll meet people in your physical community, and it’s much easier to connect that way. When covid passes, I expect there’ll be a lot of events to attend.

[BabyJilly_S]

I  have found this to be a friendly place so far, but then i haven't tried chat at all (a bit scared of that to be honest).

I am still finding my way, but personally, on the forums if i don't have anything to say then i don't say anything. 

I can imagine that a lot of people don't haunt the forums so regularly so responses may appear delayed. I don't expect instantaneous replies, especially as i am in the UK and i imagine the majority are "across the pond"

 

[DLTGirl]

For me, this has been quite a welcoming place and a haven for a DL like myself. In most places, the slightest mention of nappies will see people cringe or block you or in some cases become abusive and judgemental which is amazing when some of their fetishes can be far more dark and disturbing. 

That said, I've not interacted that much because whilst I enjoy reading some areas of the forum, other parts aren't of interest to me. Like most people, I only join in when I find something interesting or engaging. I don't see the point in commenting on something that is nothing to do with me. I'm not AB, don't do ageplay, roleplay etc. I'm just a gay male crossdresser who loves wearing a nappy sometimes. 

I've had some nice messages but equally had people offer to show me their dirty nappy which strangely enough, does not appeal to me. I haven't even considered chat because I don't have much to say in there. The only thing worse than roleplay for me is virtual/online roleplay. 

There are welcoming people here but don't expect instant/multiple responses if your post isn't something most people are interested in. There are also people who feel that unless you do exactly what they do, you are doing it wrong..... They are, of course, deluded but you can't and shouldn't explain that to them. There is no right or wrong way to enjoy yourself (lawfully of course).  Keep reading, post when you find something interesting, chat if you like it but this is one of a very limited number of places that outright support AB/DL so it's worth being here for that fact alone.

[Cute_Kitten]

For me, overall this has been a welcoming place with a wide diversity of members. Some people only pop in every once in a while as life and inclination allows it and others are regular posters.  I've made some awesome friends through this site. My activity on here depends on my IRL schedule- real life can get busy sometimes between working full time and going to school part time and personal life matters. I started out with most of my activity in the story forum as a writer and a reader. 

[Dubious]

I'm not very often on these boards anymore as its just the same topics over and over and never use the chat as there is only babies in there..

Don't think there is any better ABDL forum

[Snugglebear_69]

Like anything else I think it's what you make of it. People aren't going to respond to every post anyone makes. Some topics are of more interest to some and others topics are going to be less interesting. 

Heck, I post often in the babyfur forum and it doesn't see a ton of action but that doesn't mean this isn't a friendly forum, just that either there aren't a lot of babyfurs or they may be shy or busy.

As for the chat section, it's sort of a world unto itself and it makes sense that people will want time to get to know new folks. People sometimes have this "since we all like diapers we should all be friends" attitude, honestly it's kind of silly. Everyone should be respectful of one another but it doesn't mean everyone will be friends, nor is that a realistic expectation.

Lastly, @kinkygaybottom, having read some of your posts you're into very specific things. That's not a bad thing but the more specific you are the smaller a potential audience you'll reach. Ultimately, calling people or the site out as unfriendly certainly is unlikely to make people more friendly but you do you.

In the end the site will be what you choose to make of it.

 

 

[IndianaJ35]

On 12/2/2020 at 7:15 PM, kinkygaybottom said:

Because so far, it has been a rather poor experience as a newbie.  When I first found here, I thought I had found a home, others similar, and could learn, get tips, listen to others, and maybe even get some support for something that is so new and scary.

I have posted on the forums a number of times, and apart from one thread of interest, not much else interaction from others.

I regularly jump in chat, say hi, say bye, be pleasant, and try to chat with others.

So many times have said things, to people, only to be completely ignored, many times just left there, and felt worthless.

Generally how I feel form this community is worthless, like I am not welcome, I am new, I do not fit in the inner click, so it feels like until I prove my worthiness, I will not be accepted or welcome.

Is this generally how it works on here, if so, will pack my bags and leave, because so far, very few members have made me feel at all welcome.

I read this, and thought since recently "re-joining" the site from time to time I felt the same.  But I also have had to admit to myself that over my period of inactivity (the past six or so years), the crowd may have changed and those with whom I interacted may not be around any more.  This, coupled with the fact that I'm only on DD a small handful of times per month, and I can't really blame most people for being hesitant to interact.

You seem like the kind of person who is able to get along with most anyone; fill a room with folks having the same personality as you, and I'm sure any new person - introvert or extrovert - who tried to join the room would be made to feel welcome.  I have a feeling though that most people who identify as ABDL are more type-B personalities, and thus hesitant to interact with folks without having a chance to warm up to them.

Just my $0.02 - hope things are going better for you.

[PlstkBakdnghtnday]

On 12/2/2020 at 8:18 PM, Little Sherri said:

I'm sorry you feel that way, @kinkygaybottom; my experiences here have generally been good, but not always. There is a pretty vast swath of humanity here, and while a lot of them have been great, some have been jerks, and some of the ones who are great are also busy, and they may not of had time to say hi, as of yet. I joined and then basically said and did nothing for about a year, and then I waded into the chat, and that can definitely be hit and miss. Sometimes I felt like everyone was talking around me, and I'd try to interject, and then get ignored, but, after a couple of cracks at it, some nice person engaged me in conversation, and the next thing I knew, I was going back and forth with everyone. And then the next time I went in, they were all talking about video games, of which I know nothing, and I went back again a couple of days later and there was a great conversation going about parenting. Or restaurants. Or sometimes, diapers. 

I wouldn't take it personally, and I would definitely give it a few more chances before writing the whole place off. I have found some great people here, people who have, quite honestly, changed my life, and helped me deal with some major issues that I've struggled with. And that have made fun of me and cracked jokes and disagreed with me politically. You gotta take the good with the bad. Also, for me at least, I have to realize that sometimes I'm the old guy in the room, sometimes I'm the young guy in the room, and a lot of the time, I'm pretty vanilla relative to some. But overall, it's been fun, and it's kept me coming back. 

Feel free to reach out to me if you like. Cheers. 

I know exactly what you're saying. I'm pretty great and I'm pretty busy. ? 

[dlsafrica]

I have received comments and in one case what I intérpreted as criticism, só in times like that it doesnt seem welcoming.  But on reflection that might be because  people can get very defensive and protective over something which may not be mainstream.