kinkygaybottom

Because so far, it has been a rather poor experience as a newbie. When I first found here, I thought I had found a home, others similar, and could learn, get tips, listen to others, and maybe even get some support for something that is so new and scary. I have posted on the forums a number of times, and apart from one thread of interest, not much else interaction from others. I regularly jump in chat, say hi, say bye, be pleasant, and try to chat with others. So many times have said things, to people, only to be completely ignored, many times just left there, and felt worthless. Generally how I feel form this community is worthless, like I am not welcome, I am new, I do not fit in the inner click, so it feels like until I prove my worthiness, I will not be accepted or welcome. Is this generally how it works on here, if so, will pack my bags and leave, because so far, very few members have made me feel at all welcome.

No probs, and don't be, you had nothing to do with it. It is part of me, and I accept it, taken years, but I accept it is my past. Now I speak up to try to raise awareness as it still happens, I speak up to encourage others to come forward, if one does, its worth it.

No.... I then left home at 17, moved to a different country, and doing that I managed to suppress everything. Left that job, met my ex, and spent 20 years in an abusive relationship, thankfully I only see her at exchange of my son. But even seeing her triggers, thankfully have a wonderful hubby now. And much happier being true to myself, since coming out, my life has changed for the better

I don't mind, my story has been in the local and national papers(I spoke up to raise awareness, long after I came forward to the police), I was raped repeatedly as a child from the age of 11 till about 15. Up until 40, I had no idea, suppressed and buried memories, my ex stepped up her abuse after our child was born, from mental abuse to physical and sexual, and the box in my head opened and spilled out all the memories, cannot put them away anymore. Thankfully PTSD surfacing destroyed our relationship and freed me from her abuse, I then fell out of the closet after a lot of therapy, I ran from the true me because of the abuse, met my hubby, and well, life is generally good.

No, I am a natural expresser, my therapist came up with it to deal with PTSD, if anything is on my mind, expressing it on paper, its almost like therapy, and I have read some back, it is like I am just talking about how I feel, it is actually very therapeutic for me. And any issues I have, its great to express exactly how I feel, gets all the bad out and on paper, and lets my brain relax

Tykables Romper for me, they are just so comfy, and hold a soggy one up nicely. Will listen to your advice, its going to be an interesting journey, going to be keeping a diary for just this part of my life, something I may or may not ever read again, but good to get down on paper, express myself, I find that helps with my PTSD, have a journal for that. And I never read that one...!

Thankfully with my current situation (in chastity as well) weeing up will never happen! lol... I wee like a girl... straight down, and in the lower crotch area. We have both a manual gearbox car (stick shift in US) and an automatic, I prefer driving the auto. You only have to steer and press go or stop peddles! lol. Will probably practice in that one first. My relationship with my parents was reversed to yours, my Mum was my rock, she supported and encouraged me my entire life, I swore I could do no wrong. My father was a twat. Unfortunately I am high level Aspergers, so by the time I hit 11, my IQ has passed his, and he felt threatened, he could not deal with my autism, and from the age of 12 onwards, always called me "different". We never had a relationship after that, I hate him, he hates me, we do not talk, and I am just counting the days until he is finally out of my life and can no longer haunt me. The wrong parent for me was taken. Something I will probably still be angry about for a few years to come.

Wow, what a journey, I still want to keep control, and I do not actually want to wee in bed, as I know there will be a night where I just want to air, I really do not have to wear, I wear for comfort and mental health. But sometimes its nice just to have my ass naked! So, really don't want to loose control in bed, and for me, I think its a nice rule to have. So far in the last two months since starting, there has been a night about once a month, I enjoy laying as naked as I can be. I do want to get the hang of sitting and weeing, and driving, and lounging on the sofa..... they are my next targets. I know many struggle driving and weeing at first. Think might drink loads and just go for long drives till I crack it. On loss, yes, I lost my mother in 2014, after a 2 year battle with terminal illness, but I got something many others never get, over that time, we were completely honest with each other, and she let me air all my regrets with her, it was a time I now treasure and will do for ever. Right when my son was conceived, my mother was diagnosed within days, as one dies, another is born. A never ending cycle.

Yeah its so new, and sometimes I think I can hide it... hubby laughs, I can only wee standing up, so overnight, he has woke and seen me get out of bed, go stand next to the wardrobe, have my wee, and then get back in bed. Oh, so sorry about your friend, just lost a dear friend recently, unfortunately it will happen to us all, we have to remember them, cherish our time, and let them live on our in thoughts. Hugs

Yes, the first day hubby and I went to see customers with me diapered was an experience, my first wee, I had to leave the room for some privacy, I get the "wetting face", hubby always laughs when I do. It was an experience!

Thank you, the one thing that really is helping, I love weeing in my diaper, and I love the feel, and I have invested in a lot of good diapers...! Had a problem with some ABU Little Pawz, leaking through the front, they were compressed too much for shipping, thankfully ABU sent me another pack! I do prefer padded diapers as well, love the feel, and I do love wearing them, I just have to accept them as part of me now.

Thank you, as said before, I am now starting to tell myself, these are my underwear, and nothing more. I am trying to convince myself, and every time I put one on, I say it out loud to myself, maybe one day, I might actually snap and let go, drop the shame and move on. I hope so, so I am going to work to actively accept me, my needs and my diapers. Have certainly spent enough on them!

Have a few wrinkles... not quite crusty yet! lol

Hubby arrived home, we both had a glass of Prosecco to celebrate, and I am now locked and secure, diapered and so it begins....

oh yeah! lol