Leaderboard

Chapter 105: Leaky BETH LOOKED AT the three professors who walked in and then felt a little queasy as the room seemed to spin and reorganize. Their tables now looked down into a depression-like bowl in the middle of the room, where a projector was clearly ready to start showing the group clips. The first one started, and she couldn’t help but shake her head as the group had only used the chocolate syrup and coated the chain with the substance. They ‘flogged’ a bare-backed member with it, making a poor attempt at making it seem like he was bleeding. With each clip being thirty seconds to a minute in length, there was a pretty quick clip of clips. The first one she saw from her group featured Harper stabbing Madelyn. “Sick!” she heard someone from a group nearby exclaim. Some of the other groups murmured approval as Madelyn lay bleeding, and the effect turned out pretty stellar with Will’s fantastic camera work. There was a pause, and then they next showed the gun scene, which was equally successful. A couple of groups had also figured out the improvised squib method. Still, lacking Will’s eye, the shots didn’t entirely sell the effect. She counted that they had to have finished nine of the twelve required clips when the shot she’d first come up with was shown. She smiled as the camera followed the train down the tracks towards the defenseless car. “That was kind of smart! Why didn’t we…?” She heard someone from the adjacent studio ask before the flash powder went off. “What the hell? I thought you said we couldn’t use CGI, Professor?” the producer from Studio Two complained. “They didn’t,” Professor Wyler laughed. “You all had the ingredients to make the same effect!” “I told you we should have done something with the powder!” Someone in Studio Four grumbled. They watched something that looked almost identical to the chains being used to ‘draw blood’ from around the neck of a girl being ‘choked’ with them. “That’s actually kind of creative,” she heard someone in their group say. She counted the twelfth clip being played and heard, “One group managed a bonus clip. We’re going to go ahead and play it, too. I’ll let the judges decide if it should be counted or not,” Professor Wyler said. Beth knew the only clip that hadn’t been shown yet was the chain one with Charlotte. It had looked cool just watching it from her angle off to the side, but she had to admit it looked even better on camera! “Whoa,” someone said. “Beth, good job!” Charlotte told her, “We’re the only group that came up with the explosive!” “How did you know about that, anyway?” Carly asked, turning curiously as they watched the judges deliberate. Beth blushed, “My chemistry teacher in high school liked to make chemistry fun. He would invite you to an advanced chemistry party once a quarter if you were willing to go the extra mile on some of the homework. He’d show us tricks like that. I’m surprised I remembered those two would react like that.” Charlotte hugged her, “The best thing ever is having you two in our group!” “I think most people forget about the ancient ways of doing effects since they can just use a computer now,” Will said. “Wait, you never do things like this?” Carly asked, a bit shocked. “Why would we? It’s pretty messy and a bit dangerous?” Owen said. “Huh,” Carly said. “We still use those techniques back home. Although I wouldn’t have known the proper method or mix of those two powders.” A few minutes later, Professor Wyler shook the other professors’ hands, and they left the studio. He smiled at the class, “Overall, I felt like you did pretty good for an intro class. There are some more complicated effects that you could have done. Still, one group did well enough for an even more experienced group. Without further ado, here are the scores,” he said. I WATCHED AS a table of results showed in the air before us. “As you can see, Studio Three would have beaten you without the bonus clip, but the judges felt that half points should be awarded for that. We will give them ten thousand times their score in budget dollars for their win. For the non-math filmmakers, that’s 3,350,000 more dollars into their account.” He smiled at us as he spoke to their group. Turning to the group beside them, “Studio Four, you had some nice moments, and your third clip, in particular, was much better than most. You win second place, which’ll be seventy-five hundred times your score; 1,972,500 more dollars. Studio One, five thousand times your score, 1,265,000 dollars added. Studio Two, you won our previous contest, but as the last-place finish, you’ll only get twenty-five hundred times your score; 592,500 dollars.” Beth smiled as she saw the group who had beaten them for their script at the bottom. She turned to Carly, figuring she would think likewise, but she was frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?” She whispered. “They aren’t the right group for my script; it’s going to be terrible!” Beth winced, knowing she was probably right. She reached over and squeezed her shoulder as Professor Wyler wrapped up the class. “You two are working on editing today?” Charlotte asked them. Beth nodded, “Hopefully, we’ll make a little faster progress today.” “Great! We’ll let you two get to it. I’m going to talk with the rest of the group about wrapping up some things for the paper he wants turned in on the process, too. Why don’t you two get to work in the editing studio?” “Sounds good,” Carly said. Beth placed her hand on her short girlfriend’s head and led her to the door. JUST BEFORE WE reached the door, I heard, “Wait up!” I turned to see one of Studio Two’s members approaching us. “Yes?” I asked. “Look, I know this is a competition, but is there any way you could come help us as the screenwriter sometime this week? To be honest, we’re in over our heads, and I don’t have a clue how to get us going right again.” She paused and added, “By the way, I’m Abby.” “Carly,” I said. “Umm… is your whole group onboard with this help idea?” She looked nervous, “I haven’t asked?” I sighed, “Trade numbers with me; maybe we can work something out tomorrow or Thursday. We have a full plate with editing right now, though?” She looked a little down from that but nodded, “Okay, here.” When we were away, Beth said, “You’re not going to do it, right?” I shrugged, “I kind of hate to see my film go bust?” “Just take it home with you and film it there. Trust me; nothing good will come of helping them?” I sighed, “I doubt I even have time! Let’s get to the studio and get to work here?” She nodded and ran her hand over my shoulder, bringing me closer even as she walked beside me. I was growing increasingly in love with her, and the simple physical gestures were comforting! I leaned into her side as we reached the large door, and she opened up the studio, noting Nikki taking a seat on a nearby bench after quickly peeking inside. Beth and I felt relief as the lights turned on automatically, and we didn’t see someone like Kelly waiting for us! ‘Going to take a while to get past that,’ I admitted. Beth lifted me onto the center chair again, and we got to work! Looking at the time, I saw I had about three and a half hours to work before I needed to get dinner and head to the dorm. “How long of this footage will we use before we move into the dialog?” Beth asked me as I was working on finding some clips of the agitated meeting at the beginning of the first real scene. “I figure let’s experiment with what feels right, and then we may need to tweak it to fit whatever music gets added in the background.” She nodded at that and watched as I worked to assemble the clips. It was a fine line between interesting and boring, based on how long those clips were; I took a first guess and then brought up the best take of the meeting with Charlotte, leading off on her lines. Mostly, the first scene then involved just cutting between closeups of characters. Still, at times, it felt right to show all of the participating characters on screen in a wider view, too. The meeting scene was fully set as a rough cut in a half-hour as it was pretty straightforward what we were looking for. “So what did you find out at the doctor?” she asked me as I moved a clip into the timeline that showed a nice shot of Charlotte and Sophie both in the frame as they spoke. I sighed and moved my eyes around the room. “It’ll have to wait until we’re somewhere else?” She gave me a look but then pulled something out of her bag. It was an item that looked like a makeup compact. She manipulated something on it and said, “We can talk here now?” “What is that?” “Something your grandmother gave me last weekend?” “Why do you get the cool toy?” I complained, slightly jealous. She giggled, “I actually said you’d be jealous, but she pointed out you have less privacy in your nest. She was worried someone would want to take a better look at it?” I was annoyed but nodded, “She’s probably right. It blocks recording?” “All outgoing signals, recording devices, and a couple other things, apparently?” She shrugged. “Anyway, quit stalling? Is the news really that bad?” I shrugged, “Well, it wasn’t good… but I guess it was more odd?” “Odd?” I sighed, “You’re sure that’s secure?” She nodded, “You can ask your grandmother?” I shook my head, “Okay, so apparently, there’s a reason for the LittleGo Plus nanites being so resilient?” I said. “Why?” “My mom and your dad?” “Huh? They never went out?” I laughed, “No, apparently my mom gave your dad some nanites after an… incident with your mom?” “An incident?” “Not sure you really want to hear this one?” “Now I have to?” “You asked for it,” I told her. “Apparently, your mom and dad were dating and had their first night of… love… together at a hotel. Your dad was exploring her body and ended up with a mouthful of milk?” Her ashen face made me almost giggle. “But that’s…” “Dangerous?” I responded. “Yes, and apparently both were scared by it. Your dad apparently came clean to my mom, and she did one of her ‘smart’ things then.” “Smart?” I nodded, “So my mom is a genius—like a super-genius, really - but she sometimes has zero common sense. She’s like a mad scientist and makes some amazing leaps and developments with technology… but she doesn’t always foresee the problems she’s going to cause down the road. This was one of those times she was trying to make it to where your dad wouldn’t become incontinent or addicted if he started nursing more regularly.” “That is really gross to think about,” she said, “But I actually remember Dad doing that when I was little.” “Really?” I asked in surprise. “They would play around sometimes still?” She said, “I’m definitely not trusting this device enough to say more here, though.” “I thought you trusted it?” I asked. “I don’t trust any place but Amanda’s house for that conversation. Ask me this weekend. So anyway, what did your mom do that was so bad?” I shrugged, “Nothing to your dad, but apparently, when your grandmother kidnapped your parents, there was a scientist who drew some of your dad’s blood to figure out why their treatments weren’t doing anything to him. He kept a sample of the nanites even after the company was taken over. He used those nanites as a template when he moved on to another company.” “So?” “So the nanites I have are descendants from your dad’s, which means my mom is at fault here,” I said. “I’m hoping at some point she can help me turn those off at least. Maybe then the original ones can eat away at that stupid protein.” As if to emphasize the reason, I suddenly realized my diaper was leaking. “Cr…aggy…” I said, thinking to stop saying the word ‘crap’ just in case someone was listening. “What’s wrong?” “I’m leaking…” “Oh,” I watched Beth grab my bag and look around. There was a clear area of the floor nearby, “Come on, it might not be bad enough that you need to switch your jumper yet?” I blushed, “In here?” “Less people here than in the women’s restroom?” She reminded me. I sighed, climbed down, watched as she dug through my bag without thinking of my privacy, and grabbed a diaper, wipes, and changing pad stashed inside. After laying the changing pad out, she patted it. I followed her direction of lying down on it, even as I pulled my uniform skirt upwards and out of her way. Beth knelt beside me and quickly opened the poppers to the onesie shirt underneath, remarking, “Ugh… Carly, you can’t put this back on…?” “Am I that wet?” I asked her nervously. She nodded, “Yeah, the bottom of this is soaked. Sit up for a second, and let me look at your skirt…” She lifted me to an upright position, rocking me down on the soaked diaper still taped to my bottom. I felt her pull the jumper skirt up before she sighed, “Did you pack a spare uniform?” I nodded, “Grandma insisted I pack a spare in there?” I nodded to my bag. “It’s in that bottom zippered compartment?” I gestured for her to hand me the bag, but instead, she just went through it and found the spare onesie and jumper. She pulled out the pink waterproof wet bag Grandma had insisted on loading in the bag with the spare clothes the other night. “Arms up!” She told me a second later, and I felt her lift the jumper and onesie off in one go, briefly getting caught up in the gigantic bow in my hair. It pulled a bit and stung, “Ow,” I complained. “Oh, stop being a baby,” she said. She seemed to immediately regret it, “Sorry… umm…” “It’s okay; just change me, and let’s get this over with?” She stuffed the soaked uniform in the wet bag before pushing me back on my back. The scritch of the tapes being pulled off was loud in the quiet room then, and I blushed from realizing she would again be seeing me naked. She was quick but thorough as she wiped me clean, making sure to get the upper part of my legs where the diaper had leaked, too. After helping me into the new onesie blouse, she snapped the buttons closed. Beth then held the new jumper over my head and straightened the bow on my head before we resumed working on the film. We’d completed our rough cut of scenes one through four by the time we left the editing room. Before we left she checked my diaper and suggested, “You probably should get changed after dinner?” “Probably,” I said. “Hopefully not for the reason of last night?” “Last night?” “I left you, and not long after that, it really needed changed.” She hugged me and picked me up, saying, “Sorry, Carly. I wish I could help!” Beth kissed me on the lips before leaving me on her hip as we opened the studio door and had our shadow of Nikki again. After a lot of arm twisting, Nikki sat at our table for dinner that night. Without much time, I scarfed down the giant half of a hamburger with some fries before they walked me to Sanders Hall. I went to my nest while they went back to her dorm. I was able to make it into the nest without leaking. Still, almost immediately before I was going to ask Lilly to change me, I found my body crouching and placing another smelly load into my diaper. I felt a tear in my eye, as I knew I would have to accept that I had given up my continence to be a girl. ‘Mostly without regrets,’ I thought to myself. I stood there momentarily, even trying to push some more to get myself cleared out. That didn’t seem to work, though, and I knew it had to be related to the signal loss in my nervous system. With a sigh, I walked to Lilly’s door and to where she sat at a desk, working on her homework. She sniffed before turning around and saying, “Guess you need a change, huh?” “Please?” I asked, looking forward to a clean bottom! “The other girls will be getting in the tub, but since you’re swimming in the morning, we’ll wait until then. Go ahead and switch to your jammies,” she suggested after putting a fresh diaper on me. “Okay,” I said and soon found a different pair of pajamas Aunt Bella had made for me out of some satin material. The top was loose, so you could see my diaper if I bent the wrong way. I just shrugged, though. From here on out, I doubted anyone would be surprised to see a diaper on my rear! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!! Please press the 'Like' Button and leave a comment! Last week was one of my toughest in the real world in a looooooooooong time unfortunately, so I've been stuck at Chapter 124. I actually followed a thread of plot in that chapter and deleted it this morning so I can try again. Hopefully, that leads to more progress today and tomorrow. Truthfully, if the real world doesn't calm down in its demands, I may be done with my writing season for the year earlier than normal. (Last year, all of my progress began about last week and ran through June) Hopefully, that is not the case! More comments and likes may help me keep motivated, so please keep them coming! As always, if you've enjoyed my work, please consider supporting me by purchasing them on Amazon Kindle. http://amazon.com/author/babysofia I don't get rich off of them, but it does help provide some extra money to pay the bills!

Howdy all… so sorry for the long long wait. A lot has been happening with the start of the new year. Was busy with work, then got my new lease, the apartment I’ve been in for 4 years decided to price themselves out of my tax bracket all of a sudden which was fun🙃. Loved that and loved house hunting and moving even more🤮. Finally got caught up with some work and was feeling inspired to write. I tried to make this an extra long chapter to make up for my sudden disappearance and long wait. It’s a little more XX but those of you who have made it this far into the series have probably come to expect that at this point. I wish I could figure out how to update the topic board title to let everyone know that this new chapter is up but I’m a little forum incompetent… anyways I hope you all enjoy, again, terribly sorry for the wait. Chapter 22 Max and Elizabeth Max was back to his insane driving habit but Elizabeth didn’t really mind. The strap between her legs holding the cooled diaper against her was doing wonders for her sex drive, she just hoped Max was ready to pounce as soon as they got back to his place. His eyes said enough to let her know that was the case, the driving reflected that he was more so in a focused hurry than he was about enjoying the car's performance. Elizabeth wasn’t really sure how long the drive was from the theatre as she could barely focus on much more than Max and the strap assaulting her diaper between her legs with the aggressive driving manoeuvres he was performing. It didn’t feel like a long drive though before Max was pulling up to a secluded gated driveway outside of the city limits. The driveway was long and it only added to the anxiousness Elizabeth was feeling. Finally the house came into view but more realistically the mansion that Max lived in. It was almost castle-esque in appearance with its sturdy stone exterior but had some modern takes on it. There was a detached garage that they pulled into before Max exited the vehicle and walked to the front and retrieved her purse and his blazer before coming around to her side. He opened the door and made quick work of stripping the harness away before offering her a hand to help her out. She rose out of the car and looked around the garage. There were several more sports cars in different colours and manufacturers in the garage along with a few large luxury SUVs. Elizabeth started to get a grasp on Max’s wealth. Max released her hand once she was out of the car but left it hanging in the air, palm up waiting for something to be placed in it. “Your dress, hand it over.” He commanded in a no nonsense deep voice. “I… I can’t.” Elizabeth blushed and held her palms against the fabric. “Can’t what?” Max said, a domineering demeanour taking over now that they were actually alone. She knew what he was going for now as she looked down at his open hand. “I can’t, daddy.” Elizabeth blushed even more as she quietly whispered her response, correcting herself. If she had been looking up, she would have seen the devious smile across his face. “I see, so I guess I will need to help you out of it then. It's a shame really.” Max said as he set her purse down and released his blazer to fall to the clean epoxy garage floor. He took one step forward and put his hands on her shoulders and in a quick and powerful movement spun her around to face the car she had just exited. He pushed her over onto the roof of the car and took hold of the back of her dress. The fabric tore easily in his large hands, the zipper being destroyed in the process. “There, not so hard was it? My little Lizzie.” Max said as Elizabeth was still a little stunned at the action. As she rose from the car, the tattered dress fell to her ankles leaving her in just her undergarments and diaper. “Much better.” Max commented as he took in the sight, his eyes devouring her body as she bashfully stood there looking away. There was some fear that Bethany would kill her for destroying the dress but Max’s forwardness had her burning up even more. “I’ve sent all of the help home for the evening so it’s just going to be us here for the night.” Max said as he leaned over to retrieve the items he had dropped and turned around to leave the garage. Elizabeth was nervous to follow him out of the garage into the open, the safe privacy of the garage would be taken away outside but he was already a few paces in front of her. He paused briefly to look over his shoulder and asked in a voice that was more of a command than a question “are you coming?” Elizabeth put herself in motion to catch up to him. He held out his hand for her and she took it as she was led across the courtyard to the house. The cool night air tickled her skin and she quickly had goosebumps forming, also partially generated from her excitement. Being led around by the hand by Max and his overpowering presence had her in throws of submission. It wasn’t a feeling she had ever felt before, being submissive as she was right now. Bethany had power over her with the LCU but that didn’t make her feel submissive like Max did. She wanted to be called a good girl and be his good girl, she wanted to be happy and him to be happy. It was a strange feeling that would require more digesting. They approached the front door and Max released her hand to push open the twin folding doors that just added to the castle vibe with their heavy wood and iron construction. He stood off to the side to let Elizabeth enter with a gesture to welcome her in. As she stood in the main entrance room Max closed the doors. The warm air helped relax the goosebumps to some extent. She looked around, it was a little dimly lit that matched the masculine and powerful personality of Max. There was a spiral staircase on either side of the front foyer with heavy wrought iron railings. She turned a little to take in the room before her eyes came to him. “Welcome to my house. I’d say I’d give you a tour first but we both know that isn’t necessary at the moment.” Max said with a smirk as his eyes lingered on the yellow padding between Elizabeth’s legs. “First we should take care of that though.” Elizabeth blushed as Max took her hand to guide her again. She was expecting to be led up the stairs to where she assumed the bedrooms would be but with her eyes locked to the floor in embarrassment, she didn’t realise she had been led past them. Instead Max guided her to a secret door underneath the stairs. She finally looked up when she took her first step downwards instead of up like she had thought. Max was focused forward and just gave her hand a little pull to encourage her to follow. She complied and followed him down the stairs. The stairs were quite long as they spiralled downwards into what Elizabeth was suspecting to be the basement. They came to another door and Max placed his palm in the centre, a soft beep followed by the sound of heavy locks disengaging before the door swung open for them. Elizabeth looked into the room not knowing what to expect aside from prison cells of a castle dungeon as she was led into the large room. Dungeon was the correct terminology, just more so sex dungeon. There was a large canopy style bed facing the door that caught her attention first and she could feel a draw towards it. She desperately wanted to embrace Max on that bed. It was dark hardwood with crimson red sheets and black pillows. If she had to put what the room looked like to her it would be the complete opposite of a nursery. Where a nursery was brightly lit and covered in playful colors and soft things, this room was dimly lit to set the mood with dark colours and adult things. There was a bevy of furniture around the room whose purposes Elizabeth could only guess at. Most of the items were covered in D-rings or straps, padding over hard surfaces to protect whoever was bound to them. ‘I’ll be bound to them!’ Elizabeth thought internally as she looked back to Max who had led her to what appeared to be an Amazon sized changing table. Her jaw almost dropped as she looked over the black changing table, she had never seen an Amazon changing table. “So, do I need to destroy the rest of your clothes or are you going to undress yourself properly this time?” Max asked with a raised eyebrow as his eyes continued to roam her body. Elizabeth blushed heavily and shook her head no with “I… I can undress myself…Daddy.” Max nodded his approval, glad she was catching on so quickly. She pulled the straps of the bra off her shoulders and reached behind her back and undid the clasp. She turned her eyes away from Max as she let the bra slide down her arms exposing her chest. Luckily the LCU didn’t see reaching for the waistband of the tights as an attempt to remove her diaper as she pushed them down her legs, kicking off the heels after she got the hose to her feet and undid the straps. She had gained a little confidence from Max’s gaze, it felt good having his eyes on her despite being in a wet diaper that she had created. She spun around to face the changing table. “So this is what has been keeping you away from your diaper and under your sister’s thumb.” Max said as he approached her back, eyeing the LCU panel stuck between her shoulder blades. Elizabeth nodded silently as Max traced the small box with a finger. His contact sent a shiver down her spine. “It’s called the Little Control Unit. Bethany works for a tech firm that designed it and is the project manager for the testing. It’s not on the market yet but should be soon. If you look closely you’ll see a bunch of adhesive stickers around my body that shock me when I go against any command that she gives me.” Elizabeth explained. “Very interesting, I will have to talk to your sister about this more. Being a distributor, that’s just the kind of thing my clients would like.” Max said as he straightened back up a bit. “Now onto the changing table with you.” He commented before he easily gave her a little lift onto the padded surface of the table. Bethany blushed as she laid down and sunk into the cushion a little, the faux leather clinging to her skin. ‘This is it, I’m going to be changed by my crush, practically a stranger I met today, into a clean diaper.’ She thought as she adjusted a little. Max reached under the table and produced a black blindfold. “I’ve noticed my little fox has been struggling with keeping her eyes open so maybe this will help.” He said as he slid the blindfold over her eyes. The new pet name resonated with Elizabeth, it was cute but not as insulting as some little animal like ‘kitten’. With the blindfold taking away her sight she wasn’t really sure what to do but her other senses stepped up a notch. She could hear Max’s slow breathing as if he were right next to her ear and her own heartbeat was almost deafening with the excitement. “If I’ve learned something tonight, it’s your inability to follow orders and keep your hands away from your diaper.” Max said in a logical voice as he opened another drawer under the table. Elizabeth heard some light jingles before she felt something wrap around her wrist and then be pulled tight. The same thing happened to her other wrist and then her ankles, finishing off with her thighs. She knew they were padded leather cuffs and the jingle had to be their steel rings. “How much experience with bondage do you have?” Max asked patiently. “I.. I’ve experimented a little before… daddy.” Elizabeth blushed with her reply. “Then we will start off light tonight then.” He said before he pulled her wrists above her head and clipped them into the table. Her legs were lifted and straps attached to the cuffs. She knew she was now in a similar position to what she had done to Ashley, the biggest difference being her legs were straight up in a split V above her head. His hand moved to the first tape, she flinched a little expecting the LCU to give her a shock but it seemed safe and the command that allowed anyone but her access to her diapers was effective. Time seemed to slow to an almost stand still as he popped each of the tapes until finally she felt the diaper being pulled open. “My my, you almost maxed out the capacity on this one, it’s a good thing you had it.” Max commented as Elizabeth felt it slip out from under her. A fresh diaper was slid underneath her rear shortly after the spent one was pulled away. To Elizabeth it felt a bit different, she couldn’t tell if it was thicker or if it was just because it was dry, she didn’t have the experience with diapers to immediately tell. “We wouldn’t want you making a bigger mess while we play and at your pace, I’m a bit worried you won’t be able to hold your dinner in. It's best if we plug this up.” Max commented as he opened another drawer. Elizabeth felt something extremely cold and smooth at her back entrance. It only took a light bit of pressure for the metal plug to slip inside her. Despite being inside of her it didn’t seem to be acclimating to her body temperature and remained cold as a constant reminder of its presence as Max smeared lotion around her hips and over her smooth mound. Max began to play with his easy access. First his fingers began to circle her extremely sensitive clit. It really only took one pass to have her pulling at her bonds and moaning. “You better not cum without permission from this point onwards.” Max said in his commanding voice as he continued. “Yes… daddy.” Elizabeth responded through laboured breaths. She was struggling however, she had been in max level horniness since the theatre and just his few light touches had her so close to the edge. She couldn’t remember a time before where she had been this turned on. “Can I please daddy?” She managed to beg through laboured breath after a particularly good pass over her fun button. “Please what? I don’t know what you’re asking for if you don’t tell me.” He responded after drawing his hand away. Elizabeth couldn’t see the smile on his face but his tone of voice gave it away entirely. She knew he knew what she meant but she felt extremely bashful and timid laying there on the changing table. Her cheeks were rosey red and she turned her head to the side and shut her eyes behind the blindfold. In a voice barely above a whisper she managed to form the words “may I please cum…daddy?” After a pause with no response, Elizabeth wasn’t entirely sure if he was still even there next to here. “I think I can allow that.” Came the response finally. Her body shuddered at the words, knowing exactly what was to come. He made a few more passes that kept the fire going before she felt something press between her legs. It wasn’t very large but was bulbous and clearly made of a velvety rubber. The action itself brought forth just a minor climax, nothing in comparison to the earth shattering release she had been building up to but a release nonetheless which helped relieve some of the pent up frustration. Her body gave a little involuntary shudder as she clenched her teeth tightly. “Oh, we need to be careful with your teeth, wouldn’t want my little fox to chip a tooth accidentally.” Max commented seeing her clenched smile as she gave a few pants. A moment later she felt some press against her lips and against her better judgement she found her mouth opening almost automatically to accept. Not to her surprise, she felt the silicone nipple of an Amazon sized pacifier gag slide into her mouth and pin her tongue down. A strap was brought around the back of her head and buckled. It was almost involuntary but she felt her mouth give a few gentle suckles to the pacifier, causing the shield to move back and forth against her lips. “If I had brought this with me earlier you would have enjoyed yourself at the restaurant a bit more, but I didn't know exactly where this was going or how much of a little fox you were.” He spoke as his fingers returned to push the object deeper into her sex. She could feel a narrow tail outside that curled up over onto her pelvis and had some idea of what he had just put inside of her. She had seen remote controlled vibrators online before, had even been intrigued by some amateur pornos of people using them in public at restaurants which made her blush even more. She felt something being pressed into her hand above her head, it was small and plastic and her thumb could feel little raised buttons. It was the remote for the vibrator inside of her now. His hand remained in hers as he gently helped guide her thumb to one of the buttons. “This button is to decrease the speed.” He commented as he used her thumb to press the button. She jumped a little in surprise as the vibrator kicked to life at a very low hum. He readjusted his hands and her thumb to the other button she could feel on the remote. “And this button increases speed.” He said as he used her thumb to click up twice on the remote. The vibrator picked up speed dramatically and Elizabeth had to fight to suppress a loud moan, the pacifier helping to muffle the lewd noises her body was trying to make. “Now, you’re not allowed to cum until I finish with your diaper change. I have a second remote myself, we will play a little game. For every click in either direction you go, I will click twice in the opposite direction at my discretion. So if you click down to reduce the intensity, I might immediately click up twice in the opposite direction. Likewise if you click up hoping that I reduce the speed by two clicks I might wait a few minutes to make the change, I will be busy changing your diaper after all. Just a friendly little game where we both get to be the winners. You get to make cummies in your diaper, and I get to watch my little fox enjoy herself.” Max explained. “If you make it through the diaper change, you can come spend the night in bed with me, free of the diaper for the evening. If not… I have a very special crib for you.” The rules of the game were still being analysed in Elizabeth’s head, it was much more complex than she originally thought. The reward and penalty caveats that Max explained at the end also had dramatic differences and the vibrator running between her legs was making it hard to focus. She was also contemplating which route was the actual reward. Clearly, winning was a reward for her, but on the same hand losing was a reward for Max, and she so desperately wanted to make him happy. She figured she’d just play the game and win or lose she’d be winning in the grand scheme of things. “We’ll begin now.” Max said. Almost immediately she clicked up on the vibrator. “Interesting first move, I’ll indulge you since you’ve been holding out already during the explanation.” He clicked down twice for her. She let out a little sigh of relief as the stimulation came down to a much more manageable level. She felt him releasing her leg binds that allowed her lower down onto the table. She was a little grateful as the position had begun to become a little uncomfortable. With her backside down on the diaper fully now, she could clearly tell this diaper was much thicker than the one she had left the apartment in. She could smell the scent of baby powder being applied and could feel the light droppings of the powder on her loins. “It won’t be much fun if you don’t make any moves in our little game so I’ll add a rule. If you go too long without pressing a button I will make the decision for you and go two clicks up.” Max said after the powder had been applied. Elizabeth took the new rule into consideration and contemplated. If she went up, she’d be right back to where she started and it could be awhile before he’d reduce it back down, especially with the critical stage of the diaper change she was currently at. If she went down, he could immediately up the level again to right back where she was and then in good faith of the game she couldn’t immediately make a move. She decided it would be best to go up and nervously pressed the button up again. If she hadn’t had that small orgasm at the beginning she would have already lost at this renewed starting level. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, the submission and thrill was so erotic she almost didn’t know how to contain herself. True to her worries, Max didn’t immediately drop the level and instead she felt his hands begin to explore her. Realistically he was spreading the powder out for an even coating. His touch was gentle yet powerful in a way, it felt like he was kneading her like dough as he rolled her soft skin in his large hands. The powder was a thin protective layer that his hands skated over and acted like a dry lubricant. It felt good, in fact almost too good, to the point she felt her bonds tighten as her body struggled to contain her excitement. What felt like an eternity later, which was only a few minutes at most in reality, she felt his hands leave her skin and felt the vibrator drop to the lowest setting. She relaxed a little, she had won in her mind, at the lowest setting if she went down the device would turn off from here. She relished in her victory with the soft hum between her legs. Max moved on with the diapering process and brought it up between her legs. She took note of how thick it was as it forced her thighs apart. ‘Is it an Amazon sized crawler diaper?’ She pondered, not that it mattered to her much since she would be out of it shortly anyways when she won their game. She had become accustomed slightly to the taping process as she felt the first of the tapes pulled tight sealing around her thigh. He pulled the second tape on the other side onto the landing strip before commenting “it’s your move baby, or do you want daddy to make another move” as he pulled the third tape. She wasn’t sure if he could see the grin on her face from behind the large pacifier shield as her thumb hovered over the down button. With a little bit of regret about winning so easily she pressed the button and the vibrator died. At least for a second before it ramped up to maximum speed. She immediately clenched her entire body against the restraints and barely felt the fourth tape pulled tight. “I guess I forgot to mention that the vibrator will go into maximum power if it goes down from its lowest setting. Daddy always wins.” Max said with a bit of sinisterness in his voice. Not that Elizabeth really heard him as she fought to contain the massive orgasm building, trying to resist with all her might. She barely felt the next tape land and pondered how many tapes this stupid diaper had, if she could just hold for the remaining few she could surely still win. She felt what had to be the last tape pulled tight over her stomach, realizing that there were eight tapes similar to the punishment diaper she had used on Ashley. She managed to hold onto her building orgasm through all of the tapes and still believed she could win if she just held out a bit longer. Unfortunately, similar to the punishment diaper, she felt Max begin the secondary taping process and cinch her waist into the corset-esque diaper. “Sorry about that, almost forgot, it’s my turn.” Max commented before giving his two clicks up. Elizabeth was nervous that it would somehow make the vibrations more intense but it only went down in intensity to the second level. It was a much needed reprieve from the body numbing level that the max setting was. She was so unfocused at this point her thoughts on the game had gone completely out the window. Max was very slowly and meticulously following through with the secondary taping process of cinching the diaper tight around her waist and she had no idea how many were left. She still needed a bit of rest to recuperate from the max level for a minute and was just hoping max wouldn’t immediately return his two clicks. She pressed the down button to lower it a little more, however the vibrator didn’t seem to slow down. Wondering if she hadn’t actually pushed the button, she pressed the down button again. The vibrator registered both clicks at once and ramped back up to the maximum speed which took her breath away and caused her body to test the durability of the changing table’s restraint anchors. The sudden jolt of pleasure caused Elizabeth to fumble the tiny remote and she could barely hear the sound of it clatter against the floor. “Oh, so you’re skipping daddy’s turn? I think you’ll need a penalty for cheating and using two clicks.” Max had paused his diapering process and leaned over to get close to Elizabeth’s ear. “How about double however many clicks up I would’ve gotten for each click down you did. But I guess eight clicks up would put you right back at the maximum again. I would yield my turn but it seems you have dropped your lifeline. There are only two tapes left if you can hold out for just that much longer you’ll win.” Elizabeth swore she could hear the victory in his voice, his warm breath on her ear was pushing buttons she didn’t know she had. She felt him pull one of the last two tapes tight and press it against her diaper. Time seemed to drag on for eternity at this point, she was so close to falling over the edge into the sea of pleasure that had building in her diaper she wasn’t sure she was going to make it. Finally the last tape was detached from its anchor and she felt the padding of the diaper pull tight against her. Her mind repeated ‘just a few more seconds’ to encourage her victory and hold out. She had just about made it when suddenly there was a gentle, almost imperceivable movement at her chest. The minimal touch of Max on her nipple completely shattered any focus she had and she slipped over the edge. Originating from the vibrator in her centre, her body pulled tight against the restraints, it was like time stopped for her, she couldn’t even manage to breath. The blackness behind the blindfold covering her eyes danced with little white stars which soon became a flood of blinding white light. Her body felt like it weighed ten times as much as every muscle refused to follow any sort of command. She didn’t even notice the last tape landing. Max leaned over close to her ear while his large hand moved to palm her the mass of padding between her legs. In his low, powerful voice, he breathed into her ear a simple phrase, “good girl.” His hand pressed down on the padding and the two words broke through the fog of pleasure in her head. She didn’t even stand a chance as wave after wave washed over her body. Had it not been for the pacifier in her mouth, she surely would have been screaming obscenities if she could even form words in this state. Elizabeth had never felt anything like this before in her life. The padding being pressed into her grew warm as her body gave up all forms of control to Max. She would later debate if she had been brought to a squirting orgasm for the first time in her life or if her body had just ceased control of her bladder. As the orgasm slowed down, her body would occasionally convulse. The vibrator was shut down finally to prevent overstimulation. Max stood at the side with a large grin and watched as the Amazon on her changing slowly recovered from her loss. As the convulsions came to an end or at least reduced to small twitches she felt the cuffs around her body release. The blindfold was lifted and she was allowed to shakily sit up. Max easily scooped her up off of the changing table, and carried her to the large bed she had seen when entering. He delicately laid her on the bed in just her diaper and stepped away. The silk sheets were a bit of sensory overload in her current state but the coolness was welcomed. It was the first opportunity to see the diaper she had been sealed in at this point. It was as she expected, an Amazon sized punishment diaper. She flexed her thighs and could feel the stiff spreader bar in the seat between her thighs. It had the same tapes as the little variant which caused it to hug her waist tightly. It was grey with crimson roses adorning the surface, it was actually very pretty for a diaper Elizabeth reasoned as her hands touched the plastic exterior. The LCU had recognized it as her diaper and gave her a little warning. Max returned a moment later with what she assumed was some nightwear since she didn’t have any clothes after he destroyed her dress and had confiscated her undergarments. She was still a bit out of it and didn’t really see what he had retrieved for her to wear. She felt his hands roaming her body and came down her legs to lift each one and slide the garment up. She wasn’t really paying attention as she was dressed. It was a dark maroon velvet material and felt good against her skin and matched the aesthetic of the rest of the room. It was a little tight but comfortably so and helped keep her warm in the cool air that was starting to get to her. He pulled the material up her legs and over the diaper. It seemed to have been designed for the bulk of a diaper as it didn’t struggle to accommodate the mass of padding. She then realised that her feet were also encased in the material as Max rolled her over onto her stomach and fed her arms into sleeves. Predictably so the sleeper she was being put in also had attached mittens that encased her hands. A zipper was pulled up her back slowly and she could hear and feel the locking panel over the zipper pull being closed at her neck. Max then went to work folding her calf back to her thigh and pulling an integrated black strap tight, keeping her heel pinned against her diaper. He duplicated the process to her other leg and then to her arms, pinning her wrists against her shoulders. A strap around her hips was pulled taught and then two straps between her legs were pulled from front to back and tightened. It pulled the cooling diaper into her skin and reminded her of the accident she had had on the changing table. It occurred to her then that she had found Ashley bound to the changing table in a puddle of her own making and she started to put things together and give herself a little grin, thinking that Bethany had done the same thing more or less to Ashley that Max had just done to her. Max released the pacifier gag and slowly extracted it from her mouth, toying with her a little as he pulled it out a little then would release the handle, her body betraying her and sucking it back in. She didn’t know where this oral fixation had come from and had never heard of an Amazon with a suckling issue. He only toyed with her a few more times before he crawled into the bed and easily hoisted his trussed up Amazon onto his lap, letting her straddle him and rest her head on his chest in her incapacitated state. His hands held her diapered rear and gently kneaded the padding against her, his hands moving up occasionally to rub her back. It was pure bliss to Elizabeth as she just cuddled into his hard chest and breathed slowly, a bit of internet research at a later time would deem this aftercare. Max didn’t say a word, just gently caressed her. If she had taken a moment to look up to him she would’ve seen the smile on his face, not one of his devious or intelligent smiles but a smile of happiness. She scooted up after a time and came eye level with him before leaning in for a kiss. Her body responded and she found herself attempting to grind on him, her restrained condition made it a little difficult to get a purchase on the silk sheets of the bed with just her knees and elbows for support. She felt a rise at his hip level and knew she had his attention. “Seeing how I lost and was the only one to have some fun, it only seems fair that I give daddy a reward for winning.” Elizabeth said, the timidness had left and she brought out the Amazon boldness she had tucked away. She smiled as she scooted lower and crawled down till her eyes were level with his pant’s button. She nuzzled her face into his groin and managed to get her teeth on his zipper to pull it down. She looked up with pleading eyes for some aid and for a moment Max let go of his serious dominant demeanour to bring his hands up to the button and hook his thumbs into the waistband to pull them down. He undid his shirt as well and lay there naked for her. His body was absolutely perfect as she suspected, he must have spent a good amount of time in the gym building his physique. From what she had gathered, it was all for this, this was what he was attracted to. His Amazon dominance was so powerful he craved a submissive Amazon, a little or a tweener would be too simple and easy to control. To have a submissive Amazon or to force one into a submissive role, he would have to be able to overpower their own pride, hence why he was so built. She was falling head over heels for him and she wanted to show her commitment. He helped support her head and keep her hair out of her face as she went down on him. Where the bathroom at the theatre was pure carnal desire and a touch violent, this was much more sensual and a show of appreciation. The only sounds made were her diaper rustling under the fabric of the sleeper and soft slurping noises. Despite being unpracticed in oral, Elizabeth was a fast learner and picked up his reactions to her movements. She wouldn’t say it was attempts to tease him but she definitely did her best to drag it out. Sealed in the sleeper and diaper as she was, she knew she wouldn’t be able to offer other parts of herself at the moment so she wanted this to be the best she could make it. It was apparently working as she listened to his soft groans of approval while she kneeled between his legs on her knees and elbows. His hands help support her head as she moved, he wasn’t guiding her but letting her take initiative in the actions. Her jaw ached a bit but she was so engrossed in him that she pushed it aside. After fifteen minutes or more she decided to finish him and from what she had learned over the time frame, she knew what buttons to push to achieve that. She felt him tense up and the hands on either side of her head locked her in position. His hips pushed forward slightly as he released into her mouth with a long groan. She happily swallowed and continued to administer light stimulations to prolong his release. She had never felt this way, so content and submissive and had the vibrator inside her still been turned on, even at the lowest setting, she would’ve joined him at the same time. She smiled up to him and collapsed down to lay her head on his thigh. She only lasted a few minutes to hear the simple praise of “good girl” before she was out like a light. Max smoothly extracted himself from under her without stirring her. He slipped on a pair of pyjama pants that matched the sleep she was in and moved to the side of the bed closer to her. He easily hoisted her up into his arms and laid her head over his shoulder while supporting her diapered rear. He carried her out of the playroom and up the stairs to the nursery he had pieced together. It had taken a considerable amount of time to piece together, all of the furniture fully custom made to accommodate an Amazon. He carried her over to the crib and let the side rails down before laying her down inside. He went to a small panel on the wall next and slid the door open to pull out a bottle and set it in the nook. The in room dispenser quickly filled the bottle after he made a selection on a small touch screen for warm milk with a mild sedative and diuretic. He screwed the lid onto the bottle and crept back over to the crib where Elizabeth lay sleeping. He gently prodded her lips with the nipple and she only stirred a little before her mouth opened to accept the teet. He knew she’d be thirsty after their little session but she drained the bottle much faster than he expected. He decided he’d give her a second bottle of plain milk which she drank a bit slower. When she was done he walked out of the room looking back over to the crib where Elizabeth was now enclosed with the side up and a top set of bars folded down. He had slid a pacifier into her mouth easily once the bottle was done and could see the shield gently bouncing up and down. It felt good to have his nursery’s first occupant as he closed the door. Elizabeth had only been feigning sleep after being laid in the crib and her eyes shot open as soon as the door closed. She panted a little as her face turned dark red in embarrassment but she felt so happy she could barely contain herself, this felt more like a win for her at each passing moment. Internally there were a ton of conflicting emotions but too many things were bouncing around at the same time to even begin to process a thought fully. She hadn’t known about the mild sleep aid that had been added to the bottle but it didn’t really matter as she felt her eyes droop and seal for the night. __________________ Might stick with Max and Elizabeth for the next chapter as well, have some good ideas of where I want to go with it and their relationship. I have some good ideas for Ashley and Bethany too but I’m enjoying Max and Elizabeth more at the moment and the ideas I have for Elizabeth are just too tempting.

Here is another long chapter, it is still a slow build, but as Will gets sicker, the pace of the story timeline will speed up since this is from his perspective. I will have some time jumps later on in the story since this story takes place over the course of around 9 months and the epilogue takes place around 18 months from the start of the story. As much as a War and Peace length ABDL novel would be fun to read, I do not have the patience or creative skills to attempt to write one. Chapter 4 ‘Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT!’ I thought to myself as I was listening to Dr. Richerson. What is going to happen to me? Am I going to be able to go back to school soon? If I get too far behind, will I have to withdraw for the semester? What’s going to happen to my assistantship? Before I could cause myself to start having a panic attack, I heard Dr. Richerson’s voice. “Will, I know this is a lot to take in, but you will be in good hands. I am going to get the nurse to get you ready to be moved up to a room. There will be a specialist that will see you tomorrow and we plan on running more tests to get an exact cause.” In a quiet voice, as I was staring at my lap, I said, “OK, … thanks.” Dr. Richerson gently placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “It will be alright, we are going to give you plenty of fluids and pain medicine as needed to keep you comfortable. Once you are settled in your new room, get some rest tonight and we will figure this out tomorrow.” With a small smile, I looked up at Dr. Richerson, and said, “Thank you, doctor.” With a little squeeze of my shoulder, she then walked out of my room. A few minutes later, Cathy walked in and said, “It looks like you are going to stay with us a little longer. I am going to disconnect your I.V. and your nurse upstairs will connect you to a new I.V. when you get moved to your new room.” I nod and she quickly disconnects the I.V. line and turns off the pump. She then asked, “Are those all your personal belongings?” I said, “Yes,” as I sat up and swung my legs over to hang off the side of the bed. She then walks over and gets my backpack off of the chair and hands it to me. She then grabs all my belongings off of the table and sets them on the bed beside me. She then said, “Someone will be here soon to take you up to your room. I hope you get better soon.” With her departing words, she walks back out of the room. I then stuff all of my clothes and shoes into my backpack. A few minutes later, the same orderly from earlier walks with a wheelchair. He said, “I’m here to take you upstairs to your room.” I nod and stand up with my backpack in hand, and sit in the wheelchair while placing my backpack on my lap. Pushing me out of the room, we make our way down a few corridors and then to an elevator. He hits the call button, and then a moment later the door slides open. Pushing me into the elevator, he hits the button for the 3rd floor. A minute later the door slides back open and I am being pushed down another hallway. We passed by a nurse’s station and then arrived at an open door with the room number 325 on the signage beside it. Pushing me into the room, I see that it is a typical hospital room with a bed in the center, a table with wheels, a chair that can recline in one corner, another straight-back chair in the other, a TV mounted on the wall opposite of the bed and a whiteboard mounted below that is marked with the date, the doctor, the nurse, medication and diet. The orderly stops the wheelchair beside the bed and helps me get up and sit back down on the bed with my backpack sitting beside me. He then leaves with the wheelchair. Looking around the room again, I notice a bathroom off to the side near the room door. From my vantage point, with the door open, I see that there is a counter with a sink, a toilet, and a shower with a tub. Looking back to the other side of the room, there is a large floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city of Tempe. After sitting for about 15 minutes, I hear a knock at the door. Turning to look who it is, I see a tall, slim woman wearing light pink scrubs who looks to be about my age. She has long blonde hair, tied up in a high ponytail and blue eyes. In one of her hands, she is holding a bag of fluids. She said, “Hi, my name is Rachael and I will be your nurse; you must be William.” I said, “Yes, but you can call me Will.” With a smile, “I'm going to get you started on fluids.” Within a minute, she had me hooked back up to a bag of fluids. She then said, “You are going to be staying with us for the night, so you might as well get comfortable. Can I set your bag on the chair, so that you can lay down?” I nod and she takes my bag and sets it down for me. I swing my legs into bed and lay back. She then said, “I saw in your chart that you are to be given pain meds as needed. Do you need any now?” I said, “I am fine for right now.” She then responds, “Well, if you need any later, you can press the call button on the remote. The remote also controls the bed and TV as well. I will be here until 7 tonight, then there will be a nurse taking over for the night, but I will be back at 7 in the morning.” I thanked her and then she walked back out of my room. Deciding to take her advice, I empty my pockets of my keys, wallet, and phone. I set my keys and wallet on the table beside the bed and unlocked my phone. Looking at the screen, I see that it is 5:46 pm and think where has this day gone? My next thought is that I am going to have to call my parents. Thinking, ‘Well let’s get this phone call out the way.’ I hit the screen to call her and waited for her to answer as it was ringing. I hear my mom answer and say, “Hey Will, what did the doctors say?’ I said, “Well, they are not exactly sure what is going on. They think it is some sort of autoimmune thing. They admitted me into the hospital and I am supposed to see a specialist tomorrow.” My mom then said, “Did they give you any more information? Do they know why you are throwing up?” I responded, “They said that the CT scan showed that all my joints were inflamed, but my abdomen looked fine. With the bloodwork results, it looks like my body is attacking my bones and muscles. The weirdest thing was that somehow I am now a 135 pounds and 5 foot 10 inches.” I hear a pause on the line, then in the background, I hear my dad say, “WHAT? You lost 2 inches and lost 20 pounds.” At that exact moment, my stomach started turning and I got the need to poop again. Without wasting any time, I almost shouted into the phone, “Mom, Dad, I have to go to the bathroom now, I will call you back.” I tossed my phone on the bed beside me and rolled out of bed. Unplugging the I.V. pump, I grabbed the I.V. pole and pushed it into the bathroom with me. Closing the door behind me, I sit on the toilet and again poop an almost ungodly amount. After wiping, flushing, and washing my hands; I push the door open and slowly make my way back to bed. Plugging back in the I.V. pump, I lay back in bed and grab my phone. Looking at my phone, I see that I am still on the line with my parents. I said, “Hello, are y’all still there?” I hear my mom say, “Yes, what happened, are you alright?’ I said, “Yeah, it’s just anytime I have to go to the bathroom, I need to go almost immediately.” My mom said, “Well have they done anything to help with your symptoms?” I said, “Yes, the fluids have helped with my headache; they think that I was just dehydrated. They have given me pain meds for my joint aches. They tried letting me drink some chicken broth today, but I just threw it back up.” My mom said, “Well, me and your father plan on being on the next flight out there tomorrow.” I quickly replied, “Y’all don’t need to fly all the way out here, I should hopefully get some answers tomorrow.” In a stern voice, my dad said, “Son, you lost 20 pounds and 2 inches in height, you have not been able to eat or drink in two days, and you don’t have any other family members within a thousand miles of you. We will be there tomorrow. I don’t want to hear any ifs, ands, or buts.” In a meek voice, I said, “OK.” My mom then asked, “What hospital are you staying at?” I replied, “Tempe St. Luke’s, I am staying in room 325 right now.” My mom said, “Okay, we will see you tomorrow, get some rest and text or call us if anything changes. We love you.” I said, “I love y’all too.” Hanging up, I set my phone down on the table. I take the remote turn the TV on and start to surf through the channels. With it being basic cable, there is not much to watch, so I settle on reruns of Criminal Minds. Within 30 minutes of watching TV, I fell asleep. I wake up to my joints throbbing in pain. I grab the remote and hit the call button. A few minutes later a short Latino nurse walks in who looks to be in her early thirties. She is wearing dark purple scrubs and has black hair and brown eyes. Thinking to myself, ‘It must be after 7 pm.’ She introduces herself with, “Hi Will, my name is Isoline, and I will be your nurse tonight. What can I do for you?” I said, “Can I get some more pain medicine?” She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” She then walks out of the room to return a minute later with a syringe in hand. She walks over to my I.V. line and connects the syringe to the port. With a push of the plunger, relief washes over me within seconds. She then said, “Alright, you should be feeling better now, do you need anything else?” I said, “No, but thanks for the meds.” She said, “No problem, let me know if you need anything tonight.” I said, “OK, thanks.” Isoline left me to myself to get some rest. I reclined the bed to a flat position and got under the covers. With the meds taking effect, it did not take me long to succumb to sleep. I wake the next day to the sun shining and my I.V. pump beeping. My joints are throbbing again and I waste no time and hit the call button. As I am waiting on a nurse, I note that despite having to sleep in the hospital last night, it was not as bad as I imagined. I was only woken up once to get my vitals checked and once I had to rush to the bathroom to poop and surprisingly pee too. I hear a knock at the door to shake me out of my thoughts. I see that it is Rachael. She said, “What can I …, I see that you need more fluids” She then pressed some buttons on the pump to get it to stop beeping. She said, “Well, besides for fluids, do you need anything else?” “Can I get some more pain medicine?” I asked. She said, “Sure, I will be right back.” A minute later, Rachael was back with a bag of fluids in one hand and a syringe in the other. She swapped out the empty bag of fluids with the new one, then took the syringe and pushed the meds into my I.V. line. I let out a sigh of relief as the medicine took effect. She looked at me and said, “The doctor wants to get your height and weight this morning. Can you follow me to the nurse's station?” I responded by getting out of bed and grabbing my I.V. pole. She gestured for me to follow her and I walked behind her to the nurse station. I stand on the scale that is in the corner behind the station and she weighs me and I turn around on the scale for her to measure my height. Stepping off the scale and with Rachael standing right beside me, I notice that she is a few inches taller than me. Looking up at her, I asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?” She looked at me and said, “I am about 5 foot and 11 ½ inches tall.” With concern in my voice, “Uh, how much do I weigh and how tall am I?” Glancing at her notes, she said, “I recorded you weighing 129 pounds and having a height of 5 foot, 8 and ½ inches tall.” With a shocked look on my face, I said, “I don’t know if you would believe me, but just a few days ago I was 6 foot and 155 pounds.” She paused for a second, then said, “I saw in your records that it stated that you have lost some height and weight. This is something that I have not seen before, but I have full faith in the doctors finding out what is going on today.” With that statement, she gestured for me to follow her back to my room. Walking back into the room I said, “Is it alright if I take a shower? Besides taking a quick one yesterday morning, I have not taken a shower in days.” She said, “Sure, there are towels, washcloths, soap, and shampoo in the bathroom. There should also be a disposable toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink counter. By the time you are done showering, I will have a clean gown and socks for you to change into.” I said, “Thanks,” and made my way over to my backpack resting on the chair and grabbed the extra pair of sweatpants and underwear that I had packed. Pushing the I.V. pole, I enter the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I turn the shower water on, then begin to strip off all of my clothes. I positioned the I.V. pole beside the shower and after testing to see if the water was warm, I stepped in. After letting the warm water run down my body for a few minutes, I wash my hair and rinse the shampoo out. Grabbing a washcloth off of the towel rack by the shower, I lather it up with a bar of soap. As I am washing my body, I am shocked to notice that all of my body hair is thinning. Rinsing off all the soap, I turned the shower off, grabbed a towel, and quickly dried off. Stepping out of the shower, I slip on my underwear and sweatpants. As I stood in front of the mirror, I was shocked by the reflection that was staring back at me. My beard is thin and patchy and my face looks like the face of me in high school. Not being able to dwell on it too long, I am hit with the need to poop. I turn around and sit down on the toilet to release another colon’s worth of poop. As I am sitting on the toilet and despite all that is happening to me, I still chuckle to myself at the thought of what Daniel Tosh said about a post-shower shit, ‘I might as well go back to bed and start my day over again.’ Deciding that I am done pooping, I wipe, flush, wash my hands, then take the toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth. I also found a comb to comb my hair with. Looking back at my patchy beard, I sigh. I never tried growing a beard until I was in my early twenties, because I thought that it looked weird having partial facial hair. I think to myself, ‘Back to being clean shaved I guess.’ I put the towel, washcloth, gown, and socks in a pile on the floor and grab my dirty sweatpants and underwear. Walking back into my room, I see that Rachael kept her word and there is a folded-up gown with socks on top. I toss my dirty clothes on the chair by my bag and put on the clean gown and socks. I then hit the call button on the remote, sit on the bed, and wait for Rachael. About 10 minutes later, Rachael walks in. “What can I get for you Will?” she said. “Can I get a razor and some shaving cream? My facial and body hair seems to be falling out. I usually can grow a full beard,” I said. After staring at me for a second, she re-composed herself, then said, “That is a symptom that you will need to discuss with the doctor today; in the meantime, I will go and get you a razor and shaving cream.” A minute later, Rachael is back with the razor and shaving cream, and I go back into the bathroom to shave off what is left of my beard. After wiping off my face from shaving, I look into the mirror and see my mid highschool self looking back at me. I still have dark bags under my eyes, but looking at myself, I don’t look a day over 16. Thinking that there is no use in causing myself to have a panic attack, I walk back into my room, lay back in bed, and turn the TV on for background noise as I wait for the doctor. Watching reruns of Law and Order, I fell asleep. I wake up to a knock on the door. I then see a man walk in wearing khakis, a light blue button-down shirt, a dark blue tie, and a white lab coat. He looks to be in his early forties and has light brown hair and brown eyes. “Good morning Will, I am Dr. James Wilson, how are you feeling this morning?” he said. I said, “I have been better, the fluids and pain medicine have been helping.” “That is good to hear. Could you please tell me all of the symptoms that you have been having over the past few days,” he said. I managed to tell him about the vomiting, strange bowel movements, joint pain, excessive tiredness and weakness, and headaches. I also told him about the height and weight loss. “There is one more thing that I noticed this morning. When I was taking a shower, it looked like all my body hair was starting to fall out. After taking a shower, I also noticed that my beard was thinning and patchy. I had to shave what was left off due to it looking so bad,” I said. After pausing for a second to think, Dr. Wilson said, “It seems that you have some odd symptoms. It does look like an autoimmune disease of some kind, but your symptoms do not look like some of the more common ones like Lupus. I am going to have blood cultures taken to rule out an infection that could have been missed yesterday. I will order another blood panel to see if anything changed from yesterday along with testing for different autoimmune diseases. I would like to take another urine sample and a stool sample too. I will put in an order too for a full body CT scan and X-ray. Do you have any questions?” I said, “Uh, … not really. Do you know when I will have the results back?” “We should have some of the results back today, but most of the test results will not be in until sometime between tomorrow and Sunday,” he said. “OK,” I said. “One more thing; I know that you have not had any success with eating and drinking over the past few days, but I would like for you to try eating some jello or soup broth today. If you still cannot keep it down, then we will need to explore other options for getting nutrition in you,” he said. I replied, “I will try eating some jello at lunch.” “I will put the orders in for everything and will see you tomorrow to go over any of the results that come back,” he said. I thanked him and he walked out of the room. I grabbed my phone off of the table and saw that I had a text from my mom saying that they should be at the hospital between 4 and 5. With a quick “thumbs up” response, I see that it is 11 am. I think ‘crap’, I am supposed to be in class today. Then I realized that I never finished my abstract algebra homework that is due today and I left my ODE homework at my apartment when I emptied my backpack that is also due today. Opening up my email, I composed an email to all three of my class professors, including my applied matrix theory class. In the body of the email, I told them about me being sick since Tuesday night and that I am currently in the hospital, and that it looks like I will be here for at least over the weekend. With the email complete, I hit send. Not knowing what next week has in store for me, I pull up the email chain from Dr. Lau and explain in the email about me being in the hospital and that it is best to go ahead and plan for me possibly not being back next week to teach. I go on to explain that all of the students' assignments have been graded but the quiz from the class on Tuesday and yesterday. I then tell him that the quiz from Tuesday is in the top drawer of my desk in my office if I am not back in time to grade them. After hitting send, I see Rachael walk in pushing a cart. She said, “Will, I am going to draw some blood.” I nod then she pushes the cart by my bed and takes out all the supplies to get a blood sample. She then begins to fill what looks to be around 12 vials of blood. When she was done and putting a bandaid on my arm, I jokingly said, “It seems like I am donating blood, not giving a sample.” With a smile, she said, “It certainly looks that way.” She then takes two other items off of the cart. Turning back to me she held up a clear cup and said, “This is for a urine sample.” Then holding up an opaque white container that looks like a Tupperware container, she said, “This is for a stool sample, I am going to leave both containers in the bathroom for the next time you have to go. Is there anything you need from me?” I said, “The doctor wants me to try eating something, could I have some jello please.” She said, “Sure, do you want strawberry, orange, or lime?” I said, “I will take the lime.” She said, “I will be back in a few minutes with your jello.” She pushed the cart back out of the room and returned about 5 minutes later with a single-serving cup of green jello with a plastic spool. She then said, “Please let me know if you get sick after eating this so I can let the doctor know.” I responded with a “Yes”, she walked out of the room and I began tearing into the small cup of jello. Within seconds of setting the empty cup on the table, I feel the need to throw up. I reach for the vomit bag on the table and a moment later I am throwing up the green jello into it. As soon as I am done dry heaving, I get the need to poop again. Not wanting to waste any time, since I need more time to get a sample, I get out of bed with the vomit bag in one hand and then unplug the I.V. pump with the other. Pushing the I.V. pole, I throw the used vomit bag away in the medical waste bin as I make my way into the bathroom. I grab the container for a stool sample and remove the lid. Looking for the best way to do this without making a mess and overfilling the container. I stood in front of the toilet and with one hand holding the container below my butt from between my legs, I hover over the toilet to let the first wave of poop into the container. As soon as the first amount of poop is deposited into the container, I immediately clench my cheeks and pull the container from between my legs and plant my butt onto the toilet to finish pooping. As I am sitting on the toilet, I feel the need to pee. Thinking to myself, ‘This is the first time ever, that I will have to hold my bladder while pooping.’ I hurriedly finished, wiped, and flushed. I grabbed the urine sample cup, stood back in front of the toilet, collected a sample, then emptied the rest of the contents of my bladder into the toilet and flushed. I put the lids on both containers and washed my hands. I made it back to bed and hit the call button for Rachael. A few minutes later, Rachael walks in and asks, “Did you have any trouble eating your jello?” I said, “Yeah, as soon as I was finished eating, I threw it back up.” She said, “I’m sorry to hear that, I will let the doctor know, is there anything else I can get for you?” “No, but I was able to get a stool and urine sample. Both samples are on the bathroom counter,” I said. “OK, someone should be here soon to take you to get your X-ray and CT scan.” Rachael then grabbed the samples and walked out of my room. About 30 minutes later an orderly was walking into my room. After getting me situated in the wheelchair with my I.V., we made the 5-minute journey back downstairs to the radiology department. I was first given a full body x-ray that only lasted about 15 minutes, but halfway through the full body CT scan, the morphine was beginning to wear off. By the time the orderly got me back into my room, I was clenching my jaw from the pain in all my joints. I hit the call button and Rachael was in my room within minutes. Rachael asked, “What can I get for you, Will?” Through a clenching jaw, I said, “I need pain meds now!” She said, “I will be right back.” She almost ran out of the room. In under a minute later, she was speed walking back in with a syringe in hand. Wasting no time, she pushed the medicine into my I.V. line. With relief written on my face, I said, “Thank you.” She said, “I'm glad that helped, get some rest, you had a busy day so far.” On that note and with the pain medicine taking full effect, I fell asleep. I awoke sometime later to both my parents standing at the foot of my bed with puzzled looks on their faces. I then hear my mom say, “Will?!?”

Chapter 16: As Anticipated It was amazing how many things could get lost all year in a locker. I stood in front of my locker with a backpack and a garbage bag in front of me on the floor, sorting out the contents of my locker one-by-one. Some of it got tossed in my backpack to keep. Most things went into the trash bag. The locker was now about halfway empty. By the end of the school year, the locker had reached its maximum capacity. I had already tossed more than a dozen long-lost pens and pencils into my backpack. I was sure I’d find another couple dozen by the time I was through with emptying the locker. There were a number of overdue library books I needed to bring to the school library before heading out on the bus, an inside-out, balled up jacket I had left once it had become too warm outside to need it. There were half-empty plastic water bottles, crumpled up papers from homework assignments, and textbooks that I thankfully would never need to ever open again. “You’re not finished yet?” Emma asked as she walked up next to me and stared into the abyss that was my locker. I shrugged as I tossed out a Spanish workbook that I wasn’t going to need again. It was true that my locker was fuller than most, but that hadn’t been the main reason for how long it was taking me to get it all emptied out. The conversation about bedwetting with my parents and sister yesterday evening had given me a lot to think about. The pills had proved to not be much of a problem. Yes, they had made it impossible to wet the bed in the middle of the night, as I would have preferred, but I didn’t have any difficulty peeing in bed once my alarm had woken me up in the morning. I was rather proud of how I had figured out a way to wake up early without disturbing the rest of my family. Waking up to an alarm blaring from an earbud wasn’t the ideal way to start the morning, but it gave me time to wet the bed and relax before getting ready for school. However, despite needing to pee in the morning, the puddle that had formed on the bed around my bottom was a lot smaller than any of the other times I had peed in the bed previously, proof that the medication had done its job of limiting my overnight urine output. Mom, of course, had been a bit disappointed when she woke me up. She made sure to clarify that she wasn’t unhappy with me in any way, but it was clear she had higher expectations for how the medicine would perform. She had very much been expecting to see dry sheets and pajamas in the morning. “Eww, is that what I think it is?” Emma pointed to a discolored plastic baggie that had been revealed when I had taken the book out of the locker. I grimaced as I looked down at what was likely the remnants of an unfinished lunch from months ago. That was one of the problems with my locker. I always intended to get stuff out again right away, but as soon as it became buried, it would slip completely out of my mind. Emma held her nose in disgust as I pinched the corner of the baggie and quickly deposited it into the garbage bag. I hoped there weren’t any additional baggies like that in the locker, but I was beginning to dread what I might end up discovering closer to the bottom. “So, about the all-nighter? What did your mom say about the sleepover?” Emma asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes. It was apparent that my friends were going to keep interrogating me until they got an answer. I answered the first half of that question truthfully. “Doing an all-nighter is a no-go. My parents don’t want us drinking all that caffeine and going crazy.” “That’s silly,” Emma said as she watched me continue to empty the locker. “We wouldn’t have any problem getting away with that at my place. My parents wouldn’t care one bit as long as we didn’t wake them up.” “Then we can go that later in the summer. Just don’t mention it to my mom.” “But, like, we’re still good for a regular sleepover next Friday on your birthday?” I paused a second before answering her question. I didn’t want to say that Mom hadn’t decided yet. That would just be an open invitation to unwelcome questions about what could have changed to make it so I couldn’t have sleepovers anymore. Besides, I was sure that I’d have access to pull-ups next week, which would allow Mom to say yes to my friends spending the night. “Of course.” “That’s good,” Emma said. “I’ll go let Angie know. She’s a lot closer to getting her locker cleaned up than you are. I’ll see you at lunch.” I watched as Emma darted off around the corner, weaving through all the other students who were busy getting their hallway lockers cleaned out for the year as well. Well, I was committed to the sleepover now, which meant I was going to need to get my parents to get me the pull-ups or risk an even more awkward conversation with my friends about how we weren’t actually going to have a sleepover next week. But it wasn’t time to ask my parents about pull-ups yet. There was still the doctor’s appointment to consider on Monday. That appointment had me worried. I didn’t like going to the doctor, even for normal yearly checkups. There was that weird thing they squeezed around my arm to take my pulse, which nearly sent me into a panic attack every time they did it. But apart from the normal poking and prodding, the worst of it was always the needles. At least this time, I could be confident that I wouldn’t need to get any new vaccinations. But what would the doctor make of my bedwetting? I felt confident that I had fooled my entire family so far. They hadn’t expressed a single inkling of doubt that my bedwetting was anything other than genuine. The idea of someone wetting the bed on purpose had to be so far out there that it probably wasn’t ever a scenario they had considered. But what would happen when I was examined by an actual doctor? What if there was something I had missed during my times of faking bedwetting, something I had gotten wrong that would indicate to them that something was not as it seemed? What if they ran all of their tests and determined that they couldn’t find anything wrong with me at all? Would they chalk it up to just a random fluke of genetics? Or would they begin to think something was amiss? On the other hand, the doctor’s appointment could prove useful to my quest to get pull-ups. Surely, they would be aware of that being an option for dealing with bedwetting. Perhaps they might even recommend it as a solution. That would be ideal. That way, I could still at least pretend that I wasn’t all that happy about wearing pull-ups. I had to keep in mind that I was supposed to be behaving like someone who wasn’t happy at all about having to suddenly deal with bedwetting. I resumed my inspection of the contents of my locker. To my great relief, I didn’t find any additional bags of moldy sandwiches. <><><> Despite my older sister’s warning about the side effects she had experienced when she had previously been taking this medication for her own bedwetting, I had felt perfectly fine all day long. I was tired after coming home from school, but that was just because I hadn’t gotten my usual amount of sleep. I hadn’t woken up at weird times in the middle of the night at all. Grace’s main complaint about the medication was that it had given her some extremely painful headaches. My head hadn’t hurt, and as far as I could tell, nothing else seemed to be off about my body. That hadn’t stopped me from constantly wincing and rubbing my head all morning – especially when Mom and Grace were around. I needed to give them as many reasons as possible to stop with the pills and try to move on to another solution. I continued with the act as Grace unlocked the front door to let me in. I groaned and rubbed my head as I eased my overly full backpack down onto the floor. “You feeling alright?” Grace asked. “How did it go last night?” I groaned again. “No, your stupid pills didn’t even work. The only thing they gave me was this lousy headache.” “That’s too bad,” Grace said. “Maybe you’ll have better luck tonight. Oh, and Mom left a note for you in the kitchen. She wanted to make sure you got your laundry done.” That was just great. Nothing like being reminded of additional chores the minute I was finally free from school and homework for the summer. Still, I knew better than to disobey, and this request suddenly gave me a good idea. There were still about twenty minutes until Jackson got home from school, enough time to try out something new I had been wanting to experience. I followed Grace as she walked up the stairs ahead of me. She’d be secluded in her bedroom again until it was time to walk over to the bus stop to collect my younger brother when he was dropped off later this afternoon. I grabbed my full laundry hamper and hauled it all the way to the laundry room in the basement. Yes, this was going to be perfect. Ever since I had discovered how much I had enjoyed wetting myself in bed earlier this week, I had been desperately curious to see what it would be like to do that in different situations. But there were a couple of challenges with trying out this new desire. The first was that there were very few places where I could easily pee my pants without causing a massive mess. Most of our house was carpeted. I didn’t even want to think about how much of a pain it would be to try to clean up that much urine out of the carpet. That left me with a few options. My bed, of course, worked perfectly because of the waterproof mattress. I considered peeing my pants with my clothes on in the bathtub but couldn’t bring myself to find that to be an acceptable option. It just felt too weird to urinate in a spot where I and the rest of my family would later be standing. That left the laundry room in the basement. Its cement floor would make clean-up easy. Plus, there was even a drain on the floor, so if I were to pee myself over that, clean-up would be even easier. That was far and away the best location, especially as I was not as likely to be interrupted, and it would be able to easily hear someone approaching from upstairs. Having decided on a location, there was still another major obstacle, which was that I was rarely left at home by myself. I was hoping that would change this summer now that I would be turning thirteen in a week. In previous summers, Mom had put Jackson in a daycare-like summer camp that he would go to most days for the entirety of summer break. As for me, my schedule had varied. There were day and overnight camps that I would get signed up for. When I wasn’t doing that, I was often spending the day at one of my friend’s places if a parent or older sibling happened to be home. But be allowed to stay at home all on my own? Absolutely not. I wasn’t sure how many good opportunities I would get to experiment with peeing my pants during the day, so I had to be ready to make the most of them when they did show up. The benefit of being in the basement was that I could easily tell where everyone else was in the house. I would be able to hear Grace’s footsteps the moment she started walking down the stairs to the main floor. I had to guess that she wasn’t going to be coming to the basement, but if she was, I would have ample warning to straighten things up quickly. I had worked extra hard to stay hydrated the last couple of hours at school in preparation for this possibility, but now I was wondering if I would be able to pull it off. I ran through the scenario once more in my head. I would change into an old pair of leggings from my hamper. I would stand in the corner of the laundry room where there was a drain in the floor. I would wet my pants there, where it would be easiest to clean up afterward. I would allow myself some time to enjoy the experience before using some of my other dirty clothes to dry off and mop up everything from the floor. Then, everything could be tossed in the washing machine, and no one else would have a clue what had happened once I had changed back into my regular clothes for the day. All so complicated. It would be a lot easier if I simply had a pull-up. I took off my leggings and replaced them with another pair from the laundry hamper. That was one of the strange things about this new interest. I didn’t have any desire to pee myself without any clothes on. I wondered why that was? With this new pair of leggings on, I positioned myself right over the small drain set into the cement floor. I listened carefully. There was no sound from my sister moving around upstairs. This would be another first for me. I had never peed myself while standing before. I assumed that it would be easier to do than while lying down. I spread my legs apart slightly and focused on trying to get my bladder to release. The bottom of my pants began to get warm, and then a warm, wet sensation began to run down both of my legs. It was exhilarating in a way I couldn’t define. Part of it was tied to the physical sensation of what I was doing, but there was something else as well. Was there a certain amount of excitement that came from doing something so socially forbidden? Like always, once I started, there was no stopping it at all. Not that I in any way wanted it to stop. I wished that this feeling could go on forever rather than just the thirty seconds that it would take for my bladder to fully empty. It had been every bit as enjoyable as I had anticipated all day long. The only problem was that it was over far too soon. I looked down at my feet. I knew I had forgotten something. I hadn’t taken off my socks, which were now soaked. For some reason, I had figured that the urine would just go straight through the bottom of my pants and stream onto the floor. I hadn’t considered that it my might run down my legs to my feet. Even then, the drain had proven to be quite effective, as there was only a small puddle remaining beneath me despite how much I had peed. With the sound of urine dripping onto the floor now over, I listened intently again for any movement upstairs. There was complete silence. At any moment now, Grace should head down to the front door to wait for Jackson. I looked back down at the puddle beneath my feet. Again, this would have been so much easier if I had been wearing a pull-up. I wouldn’t have even had to sneak downstairs. I could have done this in the comfort of my own bedroom. I thought back to that girl I had seen at the mall, the one who had been about Jackson’s age, getting her pull-up changed in the restroom. For a moment, I wished that was me. Faking bedwetting was one thing. Pulling that off was easy, given my sister’s history of bedwetting. And wearing pull-ups at night would be an easy secret to keep, even from my friends. But to have accidents during the day was something entirely else. That would call for a much more thorough investigation into what was going on with my body. Besides, I didn’t think I could survive the shame of having my parents, Grace, or Jackson, witness me wetting my pants during the day. And that would make my task of hiding pull-ups from my friends nearly impossible, not to mention what I would have to do at school. No, that wasn’t an option, despite how much I would enjoy being able to wet my pants at any moment whenever I wanted to. But I consoled myself with the possibility that once I got my hands on some pull-ups to wear at night, I could get away with wearing them occasionally during the day. The worst part of it was that I had to clean up right away, rather than continuing to stand in the corner in my wet clothes. The only good thing was that the mess was relatively easy to clean up. I wet some of my clothes in the sink next to the washing machine and used them to mop up the small puddle of urine that surrounded the drain. Satisfied that I’d managed to get everything cleaned up, I tossed the rest of my clothes in the washing machine – along with a large amount of detergent – and got it started before changing back into the leggings I had worn to school. The pounding of distant footsteps told me that Grace was now coming down the stairs to the main floor. I waited until I’d heard the front door slam shut before I made my way back upstairs. My heart was still racing as I shut the door to my bedroom behind me. With all of these new things to explore, this was going to be the best summer ever. I retrieved an old magazine from the bottom of the drawer beneath my bed and flipped instantly to the right page, my eyes fixated on a pair of special undergarments. If everything went right, in less than a week they would be mine. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com/

Chapter 49: Weeks melded into a rhythmic pattern of nursery days and home evenings. The routine became as familiar as the plush toys that surrounded me in my crib. Each morning, Mommy would dress me in a fresh onesie, securing a pacifier to my outfit before taking me to Mrs. Henderson's daycare. Mommy would walk me to the daycare, the rhythmic creaking of the pram's wheels merging with the occasional gurgles of contentment that escaped my pacifier. Once there, Mrs. Henderson would seamlessly integrate the pram into the nursery's routine, creating a cozy cocoon where I could rest and observe the activities of the other toddlers. The daycare days unfolded with Mrs. Henderson and Mrs. Simmons orchestrating the nursery's bustling energy. Stroller outings became a regular occurrence, with the other toddlers comfortably seated in twin strollers, their laughter intermingling with the ambient sounds of the neighborhood. As for me, the pram became my haven during these outings—strapped in securely, my surroundings a blend of the stroller's hood and the gentle hum of the outside world. At home, after a day spent in the comforting chaos of the daycare, Mommy continued the rituals of caretaking. The highchair hosted meals where spoonfuls of pureed baby food found their way to my waiting mouth. Diaper changes, once a source of embarrassment, became routine, and Mommy's gentle baby talk accompanied the familiar rustling of a fresh diaper. In the evenings, the nursery's soft lullabies were replaced by the warmth of my crib at home. The plush toys served as silent companions, witnessing the continuation of my infantile journey. The sun was shining down upon us, as Mommy led me up the driveway towards Aunty Karen's house and to the front door. The doorbell chimed, resonating through the hallway as Aunty Karen greeted us with a warm smile. Her eyes sparkled with affection as she hugged me tightly. "Susan! Patrick!" Aunty Karen exclaimed, ushering us into the vibrant living room. As the door closed behind us, the air carried a different energy, a subtle shift that tugged at the edges of my infantile awareness. Mommy guided me through the house and towards Jack’s room, where surely my Cousin would be waiting my arrival, ready to play. The familiar scent of baby powder mingled with the distant hum of children's laughter, creating a nostalgic ambiance. Entering Jack's room, my eyes widened in subtle recognition of the changes that had unfolded within these four walls. Jack's crib, once a miniature fortress of safety, had vanished, replaced by a toddler bed adorned with colorful sheets. Stuffed animals now shared the space with action figures and picture books, and the room seemed to breathe with the vibrancy of a young child's world. Aunty Karen, noticing my gaze lingering on the transformed room, chuckled softly. "Jack's growing up so fast, isn't he? We decided it was time for a big boy bed, and he absolutely loves it." Mommy nodded in agreement, her hand gently patting my padded bottom. "They do grow up quickly, don't they?" she remarked, a subtle twinge of acknowledgment in her voice. As Aunty Karen and Mommy engaged in conversation about the nuances of parenthood, my attention gravitated towards Cousin Jack. He quickly waddled across the room once he spotted me, every step with a sense of newfound confidence, his once tentative steps now more purposeful. His chubby cheeks beamed with innocence, yet there was an undeniable trace of the burgeoning independence that accompanies growing up. The room itself told a story of Jack's gradual evolution. A small desk adorned with coloring books and crayons stood in one corner, a testament to the expanding horizons of a young mind. The shelves once occupied solely by baby toys now housed an eclectic mix of toddler-friendly playthings. Cousin Jack's room buzzed with the animated chatter of a blossoming toddler. His voice, once a collection of cute babbling, had transformed into a cascade of words that painted a vivid picture of his developing world. "Aunty! Look!" Jack pointed enthusiastically to a drawing he'd just completed at his small desk, the crayons scattered in an array of vibrant colors. Aunty Karen praised him with an encouraging smile, reveling in the simple joys of a child's artistic triumph. "Wow, Jack, that's amazing! You're such a big boy now," Mommy exclaimed, ruffling his soft hair. n the midst of this lively exchange, I found myself clinging to the comfort of my pacifier, my thumb gently tracing circles on the soft surface. The contrast between Jack's verbal exuberance and my silence was palpable. I felt a twinge of hesitance, a reluctance to partake in the verbal dance that seemed to come so effortlessly to Jack. Mommy, sensing my hesitation, knelt beside me, her warm eyes meeting mine. "Hey there, sweetheart. Jack's doing so well with his words. Can you show Mommy your big-boy words too?" I gazed up at her with a mixture of uncertainty and a subtle yearning for understanding. The pacifier, a familiar ally, beckoned to me like a silent refuge. I hesitated, sucking on it thoughtfully. Mommy's expression softened, her fingers gently stroking my hair. "It's okay, Patrick.” As Jack continued to narrate his adventures with colorful dinosaurs and imaginary friends, I clung to the pacifier as if it held the answers to the unspoken questions swirling within me. Jack, noticing my contemplative silence, waddled over with a cheerful grin. "Patwick, pway too! We have fun!" His invitation hung in the air, a bridge between our worlds. I met his gaze, finding a glimmer of camaraderie in his innocent eyes. Yet, the pacifier remained a silent companion, a barrier between the unspoken and the verbal. As Jack's bubbly laughter echoed through the room, a storm brewed within the confines of my thoughts. I sat in the midst of his animated world, pacifier nestled between my lips, eyes fixated on the playful dance of his toddlerhood. The realization, a subtle revelation that had tiptoed through the recesses of my mind, now unfurled its weight upon my consciousness. Jack, my once-baby cousin, had surpassed me. His room, a tangible tableau of growth and progress, spoke volumes about the inexorable march of time. The crib replaced by a toddler bed, baby toys sharing space with more age-appropriate companions—each shift in the room's dynamics whispered the passage of days, a progression I had been too immersed in my own infantile cocoon to fully grasp. I had observed Jack's gradual ascent into the realm of verbal fluency, the confident strides of a toddler finding his voice. Yet, the stark reality now hit me with an unexpected force. Jack, the symbol of innocent infancy, had not only kept pace with time but had surged ahead, leaving me trailing in the wake of his developmental milestones. The pace of my regression had become a paradoxical race against the very childhood I was supposed to be reliving. Jack, once a companion in the shared journey of diapers and onesies, now emerged as a symbol of the fleeting nature of time, slipping through my fingers like sand. The nursery days, once a sanctuary, now bore the weight of a realization—Jack, my once-baby cousin, had not only grown up but had effortlessly overtaken the very existence I sought to relive. The living room buzzed with the effervescent energy of childish delight as Mommy and Aunty Karen looked on with warm smiles. Me, clad in a snug onesie with a plush teddy bear pattern, sat on the colorful playmat surrounded by an array of soft toys. Jack, now a sprightly toddler in his vibrant t-shirt and shorts, bounced around with the unbridled exuberance of youth. "Alright, you two little munchkins, play nicely together now!" Aunty Karen encouraged, her eyes twinkling with maternal affection. Mommy nodded, her attention divided between the us. "Mommy's right here if you need anything, sweetheart," she assured me, as I responded with a subtle coo and a contented suckle on his pacifier. As Jack animatedly stacked blocks into towering structures, I found solace in the familiarity of my plush toys, arranging them in a comforting tableau. The pacifier, a constant companion, offered a silent refuge amid the lively symphony of Jack's play. Aunty Karen's gaze, however, lingered on me with a mixture of affection and a subtle acknowledgment of the nuanced dynamics at play. Jack, in the midst of his construction fervor, glanced at me with sparkling eyes. "Patwick, play blocks too!" he urged, extending a small handful towards me. I hesitated, my fingers momentarily tracing the contours of my pacifier. The unspoken reluctance to fully embrace the invitation hung in the air, a subtle acknowledgment that our play, though shared, unfolded on disparate planes of existence. Aunty Karen, sensing the nuanced dynamics, offered an encouraging smile. "Go on, Patrick. Play with Jack. It's fun!" Reluctantly, I set the pacifier aside, my hands tentatively reaching for the colorful blocks. Jack beamed with delight, his eyes gleaming as our worlds momentarily converged in a shared exploration of shapes and colors. The blocks clicked together, forming a miniature city under Jack's imaginative command. He narrated tales of adventures, his words weaving a vivid tapestry that danced in the air like colorful butterflies. I sat beside him, hands fumbling with the blocks, struggling to articulate my contributions in the language of play that Jack had effortlessly mastered. "Look, Patwick! Dinosaurs!" Jack exclaimed, his small fingers arranging the blocks into whimsical shapes. I smiled, a fragile echo of enthusiasm on my lips, but my attempts at verbalizing my own ideas were met with an internal stumbling. The words seemed to elude me, slipping through the grasp of my mental faculties like sand slipping through clenched fingers. As Jack continued his animated storytelling, my gaze shifted to Mommy and Aunty Karen, who observed with expressions caught between pride and concern. The room pulsed with the vivacity of Jack's play, and the discrepancy between his verbal fluency and my own struggled attempts lay bare. Jack handed me a toy dinosaur, his eyes filled with anticipation. "Roar, Patwick! Like dis!" My mind wrestled with the simplicity of the command. Roaring should be easy, right? Yet, as I attempted to mimic the playful growl, the sounds emerged as feeble whispers, lost in the effervescent symphony of Jack's vibrant narrative. Aunty Karen, sensing my internal struggle, offered an encouraging smile. "It's okay, Patrick. Everyone has their own way of playing. Just have fun!" I nodded, my silent agreement lost in the echoes of Jack's exuberant laughter. The disparity between us deepened—a subtle reminder that, in this shared moment of play, Jack had not only surpassed the confines of infancy but had become the maestro orchestrating a symphony in which I struggled to find my voice. Mommy knelt beside me, her hand resting on my shoulder. "You're doing great, sweetheart. Playtime is about enjoying each other's company." Yet, the weight of inadequacy lingered, an unspoken burden that accompanied the realization of being outpaced in the simple act of play. Jack, in his world of vibrant imagination, had left the cocoon of infancy far behind, while I remained ensconced in its gentle embrace. As the playtime unfolded, the mental dissonance intensified—a silent struggle against the disparity, a yearning to bridge the gap between the imaginative realms we inhabited. The blocks continued to click, and the room resonated with Jack's laughter. The weight of inadequacy pressed upon me, a silent storm brewing within the confines of my thoughts. Jack's laughter, once a symphony of shared innocence, now felt like a distant melody echoing in the background. A sudden surge of emotion welled up, a turbulent wave that threatened to spill over. My eyes, glistening with unshed tears, betrayed the internal turmoil. Mommy, attuned to the subtle shifts in my demeanor, knelt beside me with concern etched across her face. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, her gentle voice a soothing balm. I struggled to find the words, the frustration and sadness welling up like an overwhelming tide. The pacifier, once a reliable sanctuary, felt inadequate in the face of this emotional tempest. Aunty Karen, sensing the palpable tension, observed with a mixture of concern and reassurance. Mommy, ever vigilant, reached out, brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. "Is it time for a cuddle, Patrick?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for answers. The words hovered on the tip of my tongue, an elusive expression of the inner turmoil. Instead, a whimper escaped, a raw manifestation of the emotional storm that raged within. Mommy, recognizing the need for comfort, moved swiftly, retrieving a soft baby bottle filled with warm formula. "Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. Mommy's here," she whispered, as the soothing cadence of Jack's play continued in the background, the clatter of blocks and the joyful laughter creating a backdrop to the intimate scene unfolding on the couch. Mommy, with a tender touch, eased me onto her lap, cradling me in the curve of her arm. The plush cushions of the couch embraced us as a haven—a sanctuary where the complexities of regression found solace. With a gentle sway, Mommy began to feed me the warm bottle of formula, the rhythmic suckling providing both nourishment and a reassuring connection. The bottle, a conduit for comfort, became a focal point in this tender moment—a tangible link between the infantile realm and the emotional needs that transcended the boundaries of regression. Mommy's soothing whispers accompanied the delicate dance of the bottle between us. "There, there, sweetheart. Mommy's here. You can tell Mommy what's bothering you when you're ready." Aunty Karen, glancing over from the playful tableau with Jack, offered a knowing smile. The complexities of this journey, both visible and concealed, were etched across her features. Jack, immersed in the joy of building block towers, remained blissfully unaware of the emotional currents swirling on the couch. As the bottle neared its end, a quiet calm settled within me. The storm of emotions that had raged moments ago began to dissipate, leaving behind a sense of serenity. Mommy, with a tender kiss on my forehead, cradled me in her arms, the remnants of the bottle set aside. "Feeling better, sweetheart?" she asked, her eyes searching mine for the telltale signs of emotional release. With a gentle sigh of reassurance, Mommy eased me down onto the couch cushions, where the residual warmth of her embrace lingered. As she stood up, a watchful guardian over both Jack's joyful play and my tender moment of regression, Aunty Karen momentarily slipped out of the room, her steps echoing softly in the distance. The room, bathed in the soft glow of sunlight filtering through sheer curtains, retained the echoes of playtime—blocks clattering, Jack's laughter cascading like a melody. Mommy, returning to her observation post beside the couch, watched over me with a loving gaze, a silent assurance that I was not alone. Aunty Karen re-entered the room, her arms cradling a folded object obscured by a gentle smile. As she approached, the mystery she held unfurled—a colorful baby gym play mat, a relic from Jack's earlier days. The mat, adorned with whimsical patterns and dangling toys, now lay waiting to become a canvas for new memories. "Look what I found, Patrick!" Aunty Karen exclaimed, unfolding the play mat with care. The vibrant hues of the mat unfurled like a canvas of childhood dreams. Soft fabric adorned with smiling animals and pastel-colored shapes sprawled across the living room floor, transforming the space into a haven of innocence. Dangling from the arches were a myriad of toys—soft plushies, crinkling shapes, and a tiny mirror reflecting the curious eyes of an infant. Mommy, her eyes twinkling with a blend of nostalgia and anticipation, gestured for me to join the makeshift play area. As I laid down on the inviting surface of the mat, the texture beneath me became a comforting embrace—a fusion of memory and the unfolding present. Aunty Karen, with the tender efficiency of a caregiver, positioned a couple of plush toys within reach, their friendly faces inviting exploration. "There you go, Patrick. Just like old times, huh?" she remarked with a warm smile. The soft fabric of the play mat cradled me, a gentle embrace that invited exploration. Above me, the arches adorned with dangling toys swayed in a delicate dance, captivating my attention with their playful allure. Plush animals with smiling faces and colorful shapes swirled in a mesmerizing ballet, each movement a lullaby of innocence. The tiny mirror hanging from one of the arches caught my gaze—a miniature portal reflecting the wonder in my eyes. As I reached out to touch the mirrored surface, the captivating dance continued, the toys responding to the gentle sways of my exploration. Mommy, seated on the couch beside Aunty Karen observed the scene with a knowing smile. "It's incredible how these simple toys can still captivate, isn't it?" Karen nodded, her eyes gleaming with a blend of affection and understanding. "Jack used to love this play mat. But, you know, he's outgrown it now." As I continued to engage with the dangling treasures above, their conversation became a distant hum. The plush toys, once cherished by Jack, seemed to have found new life in my exploration. The room, with its echoes of playtime, became a sanctuary where the nuances of regression unfolded with each touch and gaze. Aunty Karen's voice, however, carried a subtle note of reflection. "It's strange, isn't it? Watching Jack grow up so quickly. But, Patrick seems to have found his own magic in these simple toys." Mommy, her gaze flitting between the scene on the play mat and Aunty Karen, sighed with a tender understanding. The enchanting dance of dangling toys and the gentle swaying of the play mat's arches lulled me into a serene trance. The soft textures beneath me became a haven, and the room's surroundings blurred as I slipped into the comforting embrace of an infantile haze. Time lost its sharp edges, the rhythmic dance above casting a spell that transported me to a world where simplicity reigned. Aunty Karen, engrossed in conversation with Mommy, continued to share reflections on Jack's growth and the delicate balance of adulthood and regression. As the words flowed around me like a distant melody, my gaze fixated on the plush toys and the mirrored reflection that seemed to beckon with an irresistible charm. In this cocoon of regression, I lost track of the minutes, the soft coos and giggles escaping me echoing in the room. Unbeknownst to me, Jack, amidst his play, approached Aunty Karen with a fidgety restlessness. "Mommy, I wet," he announced with the innocence only a toddler could possess. Aunty Karen, momentarily torn between the ongoing conversation and Jack's needs, smiled reassuringly. "Alright, sweetheart, let's get you changed." The room, once wrapped in the hazy enchantment of the play mat, witnessed an unexpected disruption. A loud, wet sound echoed through the air, shattering the delicate ambiance like a sudden clap of thunder. I felt a peculiar warmth, accompanied by a familiar pressure, and the realization dawned with an embarrassing clarity. Aunty Karen, momentarily taken aback, redirected her attention from Jack. My face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and realization as the unmistakable sound of a wet fart and the subsequent squelch of a messy diaper filled the room. "Oh, sweetheart," Mommy sighed, her eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and empathy. The play mat, once a haven of innocence, now served as a makeshift changing station. Mommy, with a mix of tenderness and efficiency, laid me down on the soft fabric, the plush toys and mirrored arches witnessing the less glamorous aspects of regression. Mommy, with a reassuring smile, began the task of changing my diaper. The room, once filled with playful coos and the rhythmic dance of dangling toys, now bore witness to the intricate rituals of caregiving. Aunty Karen, momentarily having left the room to tend to Jack's changing needs, returned with him in tow. The room seemed to hold its breath as the contrasting scenes unfolded—the awkward reality of my messy diaper change juxtaposed with the more mundane aspects of Jack's progression. As Mommy worked, the plush toys and the mirrored arches offered silent companionship. Aunty Karen, with Jack by her side, observed the scene with a knowing smile. "Looks like we have a bit of cleanup here, huh?" Meanwhile, Jack stood nearby, an unexpected presence in his changed state. Aunty Karen, catching my glance, explained, "Oh, we decided to try something new today, Patrick. Jack's in a pull-up now. He's been doing so well with potty training." My eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and recognition. Jack, my once-baby cousin, had indeed crossed another milestone—a shift from diapers to pull-ups, a step towards the independence of potty training. The room seemed to hold a subtle breath as this unexpected revelation unfolded. As Mommy secured the fresh diaper in place, Jack, with an air of newfound pride, stood beside his mom. A sudden wave of realization and vulnerability swept over me as Jack's transition to pull-ups and the impending journey into potty training became all too apparent. The stark contrast between his progress and my continued immersion in the world of diapers and changing rituals hit me with an unexpected force. As Aunty Karen and Mommy conversed, I felt a lump forming in my throat, the unspoken acknowledgment of the growing divide between Jack's journey and my own. The room, once filled with coos and laughter, now echoed with a solitary note of vulnerability. Aunty Karen noticed my crestfallen expression, and Mommy, ever attuned to the subtle shifts in my emotions, paused in her actions. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Mommy inquired, her eyes searching mine for the telltale signs of distress. I bit my lip, the weight of unspoken emotions threatening to spill over. The realization that Jack was swiftly moving towards potty training, leaving me behind in the realm of diapers and onesies, became a poignant reality. The room seemed to blur as a tear escaped, tracing a path down my cheek. "I think someone might be overtired," she remarked, offering a tender smile. "Let's get you ready for a nap, sweetheart." With a gentle touch, Mommy carefully redressed me in my onesie, the soft fabric a comforting embrace against my skin. The plush toys and mirrored arches, witnesses to the emotional nuances of regression, seemed to emanate a quiet understanding. The realization of Jack's impending potty training, though still looming, took a backseat to the immediate need for rest and rejuvenation. Mommy, gently leading me through the house with a nurturing tenderness, announced, "I think it's time for a little nap, Patrick.” Aunty Karen, understanding the need for a respite, offered a warm smile, bridging the gap between shared experiences and the individual journeys that lay ahead. "Thank you for having us, Karen," Mommy expressed her gratitude, her voice carrying a blend of appreciation and a hint of wistfulness. "It's always a joy to spend time with you and Jack." Aunty Karen reciprocated with a gentle hug, the unspoken understanding of the unique dynamics lingering in the embrace. "Anytime, Susan.” As we made our way towards the door, Jack, with his newfound pride in pull-ups, waved a cheerful goodbye. The room, once filled with the nuanced dance of regression and growth, faded into the background. Outside, the fresh air embraced us, carrying the promise of a tranquil journey home. Mommy guided me towards our car, a familiar cocoon that awaited us. As Mommy settled me into my carseat, the rhythmic hum of the engine became a lullaby, a prelude to the nap that awaited. Mommy, with a tender smile, glanced back at Aunty Karen's house. "We'll be back soon, won't we, Patrick?" she murmured, her words a reassurance, despite the emotional nuances of the day.

Just donated $69.69 to hopefully make this sting a little less. That leaves you with $69.69 over the $400 goal, which should both help with the $30 hit and give you some extra cash for whatever you might need. <3 I know how chargebacks can be, back when I was younger a friend gave me a decent chunk of money as a paypal gift. Their father did a chargeback on all card purchases cause they were being too wasteful and spent like a ton on a twitch streamer or something. Well that not only put me in the negatives, but also slapped a huge fee ontop (since there were multiple of these gifts, each one with a fee smacked on for the chargeback.) I did not have a job and basically just had a paypal for friends and family to easily give me money. I had a very, very hard time getting my paypal into the positives again.

You do not have to show a burden of having sent it to the Library of Congress or anything. A simple title and your pen name should suffice with a shot of when you published it would suffice in theory. I think even there being a question of legitimacy would make them pull it. I'd try the report it. I agree with Valentine, standing up to these idiots is a sad necessity.

Just be up front with them when you are meeting with the nurse and or tell your doctor. I have been in this situation many of times. They are professional. The diapers they normally provide are thin and cheap. I always take my own.

When i was about 12 years old and in middle school, i had several peeing incidents happen to me due to my incontinence, one even happened in the gym during gym class which was very humiliating for me, so to avoid further embarrassment my mother she decided to make me wear diapers/underpants all day also because she was a little tired of being called from school to bring changes of clothes. With the soul of a teenager i perceived all this as a punishment, and obviously i felt quite mortified and humiliated, i remember that i used baggy trousers and long sweatshirts that covered my bottom to hide the diaper to prevent my classmates from finding out, knowing how humiliated i would have felt for their possible teasing. However, as the days went by i got used to it and wearing diapers gave me some comfort, sometimes it happened that i wet myself because i discovered that i somehow liked the sensation of heat in the diaper. i remember that sometimes she would come home wet and I would go to mom to console me and she would help me change into a clean diaper. I had discovered that that type of attention made me feel good, even though I knew that at 12 i was no longer old enough, but in those moments i felt like a child and pampered. It was probably there that the regression thing sparked in me, now that I'm 20 years old obviously that thing is no longer possible, at 11/12 years old it's still acceptable, but not at 20. The only hope of being able to experience these things as well as in my fantasy now, would be to have a partner who supports you, it's not an easy thing to confess, it's already hard to confess that you suffer from urinary incontinence, however I don't lose hope Now i wear diapers at night to avoid nocturnal wetting, i wouldn't need them because my bed wetting is very rare, but it makes me feel safe. Or when so far in advance that i won't have easy access to the bathroom and as a result i wear a pullup which in an emergency saves me from the humiliation of an accident. However, to talk about my regression fetish, it's not that i want to go back to being a child completely, i'm really proud of my mind and my intelligence which has always allowed me to get high grades at school first and now at university, I would be terrified of lose it. My fetish consists of remaining myself but at the same time feeling pampered and cared for for a while, it's something that recharges me and makes me feel good, I don't know if I can explain myself

Hi. Soon, I’ll be in hospital because I’m having surgery on my right arm. How should I tell them that I need to wear diapers due to Bedwetting and how do they handle it? What is ur experience? Thanks for your replies

Wishing my fellow Christians a very Happy Easter And for the non believers, you get some chocolate too!

Chapter 36: Offer Little in Love 2 – LittleFallenPrincess “Miss Clarke…” “Mrs. I’m a married woman, SIR.” I replied, trying to pull all my snark together into one sentence. “If you can even make it through this without being declared immature and ending up back in nappies…” The Prime Minister responded with his own snark that made him sound like he was in control. But we both knew that wasn’t true, otherwise he wouldn’t be contacting me. “If anyone is incompetent and in need of re-raising… it's you, Sir. Going against the will of the people… even from the start… that’s a pretty idiotic thing to do…” “As if they know what is best for the country.” He scoffed. “I thought you had values.” “I do. And those values include knowing what is best for all littles. And that involves nurseries, regular changings and all responsibility taken away from you.” “I thought the party always supported littles. At least… enough to give us some freedom. That's why I agreed to join you.” “They did. That’s what made it so easy to make my way to a prominent leadership role and form the cabinet I desired. I do believe in a lot the Green Democrats aspire for… but not when it comes to littles.” He sounded so cocky. “And you’ve been working with Chris Slater this entire time.” “He’s the only little I actually admire. He had an Amazon mind in a little’s body, and I promised him great things. Shame you had to attack him like that.” “So what do you want, Sir…?” “I want you to call off this silly tantrum, this instant.” He barked at me. “Tantrum? Is that what you think this is? You think we’re just having a strop because we didn’t get what we want?” “Exactly that. So call it off, Mrs Clarke, otherwise I’ll have to resort to…” “Using hypnosis on an unwilling population, mass scale? Arresting people for protesting lawfully?” “They are rioting…” “Some are. A tiny minority are using this unrest as a great opportunity to steal and destroy stuff. But most who are being arrested are peacefully protesting. It’s your police force that are…” “Oh come off it. As if a little knows anything about how the world works.” He laughed. “I know a lot more about the cruelty of this world than you do. And unlike you, I’ve met people from other worlds and seen how they treat others less privileged. Some treat others with disdain, sure, but most try to treat minorities with kindness and respect. We need to follow their example. Littles need equal rights.” “Littles need a sharp spanking and an early bedtime.” He snapped angrily at me. “I can see this is going nowhere. You’re unreasonable.” I sighed. “And you’re a little brat.” “Sir…? Go fuck yourself.” And with that, I hung up on him. There was an awkward silence filling the room. “So… no offer then?” Dotty asked, finally breaking it. “No offer. He won’t even listen to reason, let alone a little’s demands.” I replied, trying to keep my anger in check now that that was over. “What now then?” She asked. “We continue. We shut down more of the country. Get our message out. Get more of the population joining with us. They have a dwindling police force and no backup from the armed forces, they can only hold out so long.” “But what…” Dotty asked before being cut off. “I’m proud of you, Olivia.” Claire said, pulling me in for a hug. “I would have said much worse to that human stain.” “I… I need to see Charlie now, if that’s okay?” I asked around the room. “Of course, hun. Dotty, you got control for a few hours?” Claire asked Dotty. Dotty just nodded and smiled up at her, before turning to me and smiling more. “I’ll… be back soon…” I returned the smile, waving goodbye to my newest friend and ally. ----------------------------------------------------------------- “CHARLIE!” I screamed, running through the doorway, leaping up onto the huge hospital bed and pouncing on my wife, who seemed surprised by my sudden appearance. Claire had snuck me out of LIBRA HQ and through the city, before sneaking me into the hospital, as this was probably one of the locations they were looking out for me most. “L… Liv?” Charlie replied, her face lighting up upon seeing me. “Is it you? As in… the real you?” I asked, pulling my face up from her chest long enough to ask it. “I… think so. I… Liv… I…” “It’s okay! I’m glad you’re…” “No, I have to say something… I…” “No, Charlie, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” “I do though. I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through that.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks. “It’s okay, Charlie, seriously, it wasn’t you.” I replied, holding back my own tears as best I could. “It was though. Those were my maternal urges… I just… I couldn’t control them.” “So? We’ve been together for years now, and you’ve handled them well. It wasn’t until Chris…” “Chris…? Chris did… this… to me?” “Yeah, he was working with the Prime Minister and wanted to knock me down a peg… or a hundred.” “I’ll kill…” She clenched her fists in a fit of pure rage, so I quickly placed my small hand on her much larger one, and thankfully that was enough for her to come back to me. “I… nearly did.” I admitted. “What happened? I came to and Nessa of all people was sitting here with me. That was a huge surprise after all these years! She told me she met you and that you told her to come watch over me whilst apparently the country is going to shit?” “Language…” I grinned up at her. “Oi! Don’t you start, little missy! I… ugh, no, sorry… that just… feels weird now…” “No, it’s okay, I think it’ll take a lot of time and even more therapy to process what happened so we can get back to our normal Mummy/baby thing.” “I… didn’t do too much damage did I? I remember flashes of it… but… that’s about it. Like I was in the passenger seat… but only for some of it.” “You used that brute force hypnosis stuff on me, which I must admit… wasn’t fun.” “How… how are you…?” Her voice quivered, she was worried. “Still me? Nanites, thankfully. Though it did actually affect me at first.” “Oh good!” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Speaking of which… how am I back to normal now?” “Faith is here. She’s been working with the device that turned you into that… person… and managed to reverse engineer what happened to your brain and fix it.” “Remind me to thank her. And Eve. Again. Also… when did you and Nessa meet? I… always thought you two would get along, and it makes me so happy to see you did. I just wish I kept in touch with her…” “She saved my life when I ran from the police during the protests.” I laughed, awkwardly. “You… ran… from the police?” “I… yeah… there may or may not be a warrant out for my arrest…” “Olivia…” She looked at me, sternly, using that disapproving voice she only saves for special occasions. ‘Uh oh. Full name… I’m in trouble.’ “Look, over half the population is protesting up and down the country, the government is corrupt and the unrest was already a powder keg just waiting for a spark. My near-adoption and the press event was the spark that lit it up.” I explained, hoping it would make her worry about me less. “Your near…? OLIVIA! What the hell happened whilst I was out of it?” Charlie sounded scared again… “I… I’ll catch you up. But I’ll have to leave in about an hour or so, LIBRA still needs my help.” “You’re helping LIBRA? After everything Chris did…?” “I’m leading them.” I grinned at her, awkwardly. “You’re… well, I guess that was a natural progression for you. You just can’t help but get involved when people need you, can you?” She smiled at me, warmly. “Like Mummy, like baby…” “Touché. Fine, well… just… be careful, okay baby?” Yeah… it still felt weird her calling me that. I guess that’s going to take a while for me to be okay with again. “I… I will.” “So, snuggle up and tell me about everything that has been going on…” “Charlie? Oh hey, Liv!” Faith said from the door just after I told Charlie about what my earlier conversation with the Prime Minister was about. I had told Charlie all about the speech, the incident with Chris, the near adoption, the protests, Nessa saving me, and then all about working with LIBRA to keep things going. And the entire time she had this face that was full of fear… and pride. We had avoided the awkward subject of what happened whilst she was… you know… ‘not herself’. I think that was going to be our unspoken thing for a while, until we let it all out in therapy. Ellie has got her work cut out for her… “Hey Faith, thanks for healing Charlie and getting her back on her feet.” I said to my sister. “Ah ah! No getting out of bed yet! I may have fixed the damage, but there is still some healing to do. The brain is a complex and sensitive thing to mess about with. At least that’s what Eve told me to tell you. So bed rest for you, okay Charlie?” Faith replied, sounding just like Charlie does when she’s trying to be all dominant with me. Charlie just smiled and nodded at Faith, who smiled back at her. “So… Liv…?” Faith said, shifting on her feet like she had some big secret she wanted to say, but couldn’t. “What’s up?” I asked. “Can… Can I talk to you outside for a moment?” “Sure! Charlie… are…?” I was about to ask my wife if she was okay with me leaving her for a bit, but as usual, she knew what I was going to say before I even said it. I’m glad we’re still on that wavelength at least, even if our Mummy/baby stuff is out of whack right now. “I’ll be fine. The nurses here are wonderful and Eve said she’d be here soon to give me another scan. Plus I have Nessa outside, keeping watch. So go, help her with whatever she needs, I’ll be fine. But promise to come back, I need more kisses from my wife!” “I… fine. Now I’m definitely coming back straight away, I missed you!” “I missed you too.” Charlie replied, grabbing my cheeks with her hands and pulling me forwards, planting a soft, cute little kiss on my forehead, before lifting me off the bed effortlessly and patting my butt, making me scoot away quickly. “What is it, Faith?” I asked as we walked into a little room that we had walked down multiple corridors to get to. It was empty, with no-one nearby, not even in the hallway outside. Faith really liked the isolation it seemed, and this benefited me because I had to stay hidden, just in case this place was being surveilled. “I fixed it.” She said, closing the door behind us, leaving me in this little room with nothing but a table, some tools, and a bunch of mechanical scraps. “Fixed what?” “The device.” She said, pointing to a small box-shaped device on the table with a little console on one of its faces. ‘That… that’s the simple, innocent-looking thing that broke Charlie…’ I thought to myself, feeling anger surge through my body. “Wait, it needed fixing?” I asked. “When I got my hands on it, I could tell that Slater guy and his tech team had tried to create this so it would work on a mass scale, something akin to the tech the Amazons use on littles through televisions. This would be really hard to trace, no one would even know what was happening until it was too late, but they never got it to work on anything mass scale. It uses soundwaves to…” “Another time, Faith. So what did you fix exactly?” I asked. “I’ve gotten it so the soundwaves can actually be broadcast through anything. Televisions, radios, phone signals… whatever. Just one press of the button and it’ll broadcast whatever subliminal message you want to send into the minds of Amazons… or littles in fact. If activated, it would send out a signal wirelessly, broadcasting it on any nearby devices. And if those devices are connected to the internet or through cables… then it would spread like a virus, sending the message through the whole system. You can limit how far it goes, but yeah… this could go everywhere.” “So this…” “Could turn the Amazons into mindless babies, just like what they do to littles.” “That… sounds dangerous.” I replied. “Oh it is! Imagine if Chris used this tech mass scale. I know he used it on that Madison woman, and on Charlie… but imagine the power he could have over anyone!” “I’m glad we uncovered it all before he had a chance. This machine… should be destroyed.” “But Liv… this… this could solve everything. Make Amazons into mindless babies…” “That would be cruel and unjust, plus who would take care of all those Amazons? Not like littles can just step up… we’re not as strong or tall as they are.” “Oh I agree, I don’t think I could ever do that to them. But what about just making them more… open minded?” Faith suggested. “Open minded?” I asked, confused. “To littles. To equality. You could make them agree to your Littles Equality Act thing. You could fix the country in seconds. You could fix the world…” “I… that does sound tempting. No more protests needed. No more fighting. No more illegal adoptions… we couldn’t use it on other countries though, if it did get noticed it could be considered an act of war… I…” I was speechless. This… this was bigger than any one person. Using it on Madison was… okay, I guess… but this… “Faith… this is too much power for anyone.” “Oh I agree!” “Then why did you fix it?” “I… look, I see something not working, I have to fix it just to prove that I can! Plus I needed to test the new update I’m going to upload to Charlie’s nanites to protect her from this in the future.” “I…” I sighed and put my palm to my forehead. “We need to destroy it.” “That’s okay, I know how to disable it and take it apart so that no one can rebuild it. As long as we make sure Chris doesn’t have copies and can’t rebuild it himself… we’ll be okay.” She grabbed a screwdriver and sat down at the desk, pulling the device close to her. But just as she began to unscrew the plate on the front, I felt something within me push me forward… a feeling of unease, as internally I could feel conflict within my conscience. “Faith… stop…” I said, placing my hand over the small console on the front of the device, hovering mere inches above the keypad. One simple press… ======================================================= Little in Love 2 just finished on my SubscribeStar! (Well, there's an epilogue on Wednesday, but that's it). My next Monstrum story starts up there on Sunday! Also thinking of opening up short story commissions now too finally, now that my writers block seems to have subsided. If you haven't seen, I'm now up and running on Subscribestar! (Sorry for the reminder again, trying to get my subscribers back after the Patreon rubbish!) ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my patrons for their support over the past couple of years! Seriously, your support meant the world to me, and I hope to be set up somewhere new soon. New chapters of Little in Love 2 every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! I'm sure you'll get some answers by the time it's finished :3 And yes, it's the usual 40 chapters + epilogue, though they won't be posted together, they'll be posted on different days. I swear... one of these days I'll shake things up with a story that isn't 40 chapters and epilogue... one that has no mean cliffhangers but ends on the WORST thing imaginable. Just to shock you all... Also it won't be sapphic at all... jk As if my stories will ever stop being super gay! An Amazon? Willing to talk to a little... reasonably?

Seventy-Six I walked out of Paige’s bathroom and closed the door behind me–praying that she’d not open that door until three to four years from now. I slowly walked back to the living room, trying not to look too ashamed of myself. Paige was sitting on the couch, in the exact spot that I left her. The look of concern that was on her face when I got up and practically ran to the bathroom was still there. “Are you alright?” she asked. “Better now,” I said. “Sorry about that.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize. I was just worried when you ran off like you did.” “Something, uh, wasn’t sitting well with me,” I said. “Something I ate? Drank?” “Poor baby,” she cooed, patting the seat on the couch where I had been sitting earlier. “Come over here. Sit down. I’ll get you some water. Tea, maybe?” I dragged myself across the living room and sat down on the couch again, this time sitting so close to her that I almost landed on her lap. Her hands were on me almost immediately, gently petting my thighs, my chest, my shoulders, and my head. She clearly wanted to do whatever she could to take care of me–just as it was also clear that she didn’t have very much experience in taking care of anyone besides herself. “I’ll be okay,” I assured her. “But I need to be honest with you about something. And it’s pretty embarrassing.” “We’re wearing diapers,” she said. “You can probably tell me anything.” “I…really, uhm, had to go.” I realized that that probably wasn’t clear enough, and I needed to elaborate: “I had to…go. To the bathroom.” I knew that probably wasn’t much better. “Right,” she said, nodding. She had paused, head cocked and waiting for more information. I sighed, realizing I was going to have to spell it out for her: “I, uhm, used your toilet.” “Oh,” she said, her eyes growing with surprise. “I didn’t think you did that.” “I don’t,” I said. “Well…I haven’t. Not in a very long time. But I had to, uhm… Well…let’s just say that it would’ve been a terrible first date if I had done it in my diaper.” “Ah,” she nodded. “I’ll trust your judgment.” “You may want to avoid using your bathroom for a while.” She laughed. “You do realize that I stink the damn thing up every day, right?” I sighed and shook my head. “Sorry, this is a really weird conversation. Especially on the first night we’re hanging out.” “You handled it like a champ,” she said, slowly rubbing my thigh with her hand. “Though, I have to admit, I’m a little curious about what might have been.” I was cracking a smile now. Everything about her–her tone, the way she touched me, the way she looked at me–had this warm and friendly energy that helped me feel incredibly comfortable. “It wouldn’t have been pretty.” “Describe it to me,” she said. “Let’s pretend it happened. What do you think would’ve happened next?” “D-do you want the, uh, best case scenario?” She nodded, emitting a melodic hum into my ear. “Please. The very best case scenario.” I took a deep breath, leaned back on the couch, and closed my eyes so that I could better picture the scene. I felt her one hand on my thigh still. The other was rubbing my back between my shoulder blades. “So…I rushed into the bathroom,” I started, my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to ask if she was sure she wanted to hear this–but she had already told me as much. I needed to trust that. “My bowels were…uhm… Well, I really had to go. I had to go for a while. It was a miracle I didn’t burst sooner.” I opted to leave out the part where I was distraught because I had been thinking about Ava while I kissed her. “Oh my,” she whispered into my ear, sounding like this was the most dramatic thing that she had ever heard in her life. “What happens then?” “I…I had to make a choice. The toilet. Or the diaper.” “And you chose the…” “I chose the diaper,” I said. In my fantasies, I’d always choose the diaper. Her hand’s grip tightened on my thigh a little. I thought it might be closer to my diaper now, but I’m not entirely sure. I remembered thinking that there was a reason I didn’t want her hand to get too close to my diaper, but I couldn’t remember what it was. It’s fine. For now, I let it be. “So what did you do?” she asked. “I… Well, what else could I do? I wear diapers. I don’t use the potty.” “Mmm,” she practically squeaks into my ear. She liked that. We were getting into the part where I worried she might regret asking me to make up this little story. “I thought about leaving the bathroom and just rushing back to the living room. I, uhm, wanted you to see it happen, you know? I wanted you to watch me do it.” In my periphery, I saw her head nodding slightly. “But I didn’t make it. All at once, it’s just…pushed out of me.” “It?” she asked. My cheeks warm and I bite my bottom lip for a moment. “Y-you know what I mean, right?” “Well…I just want to be sure you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about. “My…poop. All at once, I just…pooped myself. I pooped in my diaper.” Her hand has migrated further up my thigh. “It was a lot, huh?” “Oh yes,” I nodded. “It just…completely filled the back of my diaper. Like, I’m talking completely packed.” “How did it feel when it happened?” I don’t have to try too hard to imagine what it might have felt like. I’ve experienced it so many times over the last few months–the exact kind of sudden and epic mess that I’m describing now–that I know exactly what it would’ve felt like. I could describe it to her in detail–the feeling of the back of the diaper expanding. The feeling of the mushy load spreading into every vacant space in the diaper that it can find. The weight of it. The foul smell of it. The shameful crackling and crinkling noises that were unique to filling a diaper. I try to summarize it as succinctly as I could: “It felt amazing. Absolutely amazing.” “So then? You’re in the bathroom–my bathroom. You know that I’m out here waiting for you. And…what’s going through your mind?” What’s going through my mind was: I really wish I had actually loaded my diaper now instead of wussing out and filling her toilet instead. “I mean, I was scared. Sure, we talked a lot about using our diapers–but there’s a big difference between talking about them and you actually experiencing me loading my diaper with a pretty big mess. But I can’t stay in your bathroom forever. Besides…my clean diapers are out here in the living room. With you.” “Ah, yes,” she said, giggling. “So you’d have to come out sooner or later.” “Let’s say that, then, I opened the bathroom door and emerged,” I said to her. “Let’s say I stumbled out here in a messy, stinky, diaper. What would you do?” “Well for starters,” she said, “your pants would have to come off. I’d want to see it.” “It’d be gross.” “Maybe I’d like that.” “Be careful what you wish for,” I said. “You never know until you smell it for yourself.” She laughed. “This is a fantasy, remember? I’m sure it smells disgusting. It should, right? It’s poop. But, at that moment, it doesn’t really bother me. I like it. I like the look of shame on your face. I like how it makes me, uhm, jealous.” “Jealous?” “Maybe I’d wish that I had done the same thing.” “You could,” I offered. “It’s a fantasy, remember? It can be anything you want.” “Not this time. This time, we’re talking about your diaper and my reaction to that.” “Ah, right. So, you’re green with jealousy.” “And you’re just…brown?” We both laughed. “What do you do then?” I asked. “Hmm. I dunno.” “Okay, let me ask you this,” I said. “What do you wish would happen to you, if you were in my shoes?” Another content little hum into my ear. “Hmm. Perhaps I’d say: ‘Look at you, you big baby. Did you just make poopies in your diaper?’ And you’d have tears welling in your eyes and you’d nod pathetically. And I’d say: ‘I thought big boys used the potty. But clearly you’re not a big boy, are you?’” My cock strained in my cage as her hand got closer and closer to my diaper. I was supposed to be stopping her, but I couldn’t go through with it. She continued: “I’d say something like: ‘If you’re gonna act like a diaper-filling baby, you ought to be treated like one.’ And I’d make you, uhm, bend over. And I’d spank your dirty diaper.” “Babies don’t usually get spanked for using their diapers,” I said. “It’s my fantasy,” she laughed. “Right, right. Go on.” “Well, I mean, that’s it. I’d spank your dirty diaper. Have you ever had that happen to you before?” I had, of course. More times than she’d even be able to imagine. I still wasn’t ready to get into all of that yet. “Uh, y-yeah. It’s happened.” “I bet that felt good, huh?” I nodded. “Very.” Her hand was on my crotch. It was stroking the swollen padding through my pants. I, still, wasn’t stopping her. Her fingers were sneaking up towards the waistband now, likely aiming to unfasten my belt. If I was going to stop her, this would be the time. But how? Her hand reached my belt and she stopped. “Sh-should I keep going?” I sighed. “If it’s okay with you…maybe not tonight?” Her hand began to retract, but not entirely and not all at once. It was back on my thigh again–a sort-of truce, as if to say: ‘I respect your wishes, but I’m returning to the last place I knew you were okay with my hand being.’ “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like a doofus all of a sudden. “I just… Well, the whole bathroom thing and my diaper is completely drenched and… I think I’d feel more comfortable if we left some of the mystery for another night.” To my relief, she was smiling and nodding. “Of course.” “Thank you, Ava.” “Huh?” Shit. I’m still thinking about Ava. “Uh…Thank you for understanding.” She seemed mostly unphased by my slip-up. Either she didn’t understand that ‘Ava’ was a name, or she just wasn’t sure what I had said in the first place. “Honestly, it’s kind of a good thing. I tend to be a little…handsy? I could probably benefit from some slowing-down.” This doesn’t make me feel as good as she might’ve hoped it did. I–and probably any other guy in her path–would normally have no issue with her handsy-ness. Paige kept a smile on her face and seemed good natured about the situation, but I could still detect a note of disappointment from her as we continued to sit on the couch together. She had, afterall, brought me back to her apartment from the bar. And now, it seemed we were relegated to doing the same thing we would’ve been doing back at the bar–just talking. “What about your diaper?” I asked. “It’s got to be feeling pretty heavy right now. Pretty squishy?” “Oh, uh, yeah,” she said, her cheeks blushing a little. “I kind of love it.” Mommy would love Paige, I suspected. “You think you’ll change soon?” She shrugged. “I probably should, huh? I can start to smell my pissy pants.” “That could be my diaper too,” I offered, despite being pretty sure that I had smelled her diaper earlier when we were coming up the stairs. “Like, I know we’re not supposed to like this. It’s gross and it’s just not what adults do. But, man…” “I know,” I said, nodding. “Believe me, I know exactly what you mean.” I’d have offered to change her diaper for her, but after shooting her down for getting too close to my own, it didn’t seem like the best idea. So we just talked a while more. Mostly, Paige told me about her sister’s rockstar life–showing me assorted memorabilia and photographs of her sisters standing next to other famous people. Ryan Gosling. The kid from The Sopranos. Tom Hardy. And plenty of people who I didn’t recognize, despite Paige’s excitement when showing me the photos. I was only half paying attention. The other half of my brain was somewhere else entirely. It was wherever Ava was–following her around. I was imagining what she and Caleb might be doing at this very moment. Canoodling. Making out. Fucking. Not a single wet–or dry, for that matter–diaper in sight. “W-well, I had a really good time with you tonight,” I finally said. “But I think I should probably get going.” Again, Paige seemed disappointed, but understanding. “Of course. You’re good to get home?” “Oh yeah,” I shrugged. “Just need to get to the train station and take it out to the suburbs.” From there, I’d call an Uber. Or Mommy. “I can walk you back to the train station if you want.” “I appreciate that,” I said. “But you should probably take care of that wet diaper of yours.” Her cheeks reddened again and she laughed. “Yeah…fair enough. Though, before that, I’ll probably…” Her voice trailed off as she seemed to realize that she was saying too much. “Uh, yeah, I’ll take care of this.” We embraced in her doorway. Again, it felt good to be so close to her–I just wished things had been a little different tonight. Maybe I had jumped the gun with this date. I wasn’t as ready for this as I thought I was. Soon after, I was on the train, squishing myself into a seat in my swampy diaper. I drew my phone from my pocket and texted Mommy. Her reply came pretty quickly. I did, but the answer felt a little more complicated than that. The evening felt steeped in unrealized potential. All the things it could’ve been, and it was mostly just two people talking about diapers. And rockstars. I suspected Mommy would be disappointed by that, but she didn’t say as much. I wondered how much I’d tell her. Would I tell her about my thoughts of Ava? No, probably not. Would I tell her that I used a toilet? Well…she’d probably suspect something was up when she saw the state of my diaper. Wet, for sure–but I had to do a good amount of wiggling and careful prying of the top tapes to get the thing off so I could pull it down. And the same tapes weren’t quite as sticky when I tried pulling it back up again. It was safe to say that my pants were the only thing keeping my diaper in place now. Stepping off the train onto the suburban platform, I immediately spotted Mommy’s gleaming SUV in the parking lot. I quickly trotted over to it, holding my pants up so they didn’t slip with the shifting weight of my loose and heavy diaper. “Looks like you’re carrying quite the load there, Baby,” Mommy smiled as I slipped into the passenger seat. “It’s…just wet.” I didn’t tell her about the condition of the diaper itself. I was thinking I’d wait and let her discover it for herself. “You had a good evening?” she asked as she pulled out of the station’s parking lot. I nodded. “Do you think the two of you will hang out again?” “I think so.” It seemed likely enough. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t happen before I could get my life in a little more order–though the likelihood of it actually working out that way seemed pretty slim. “She was fond of you, I assume.” “Y-yeah.” “How could she not be? You’re the cutest little thing.” Within moments of rolling into the garage, I was escorted back to my nursery where I quickly disrobed from my more ‘adult’ attire and flopped myself onto the changing table. Mommy carefully inspected my diaper, noticing the poor shape the tapes and waistband seemed to be in. “What happened here, Baby? Was this girl trying to pull your diaper right off of you?” “N-no… I had to, uhm, take it off.” Her eyebrows raised curiously. “Oh? Showing off your cage for her? Surely she wasn’t changing you–seeing as how it looks like you’ve been sitting in this puddle for at least an hour or two.” I shook my head. “I…used the potty–uhm, the toilet.” “Ha. You? The potty?” “I…came close to pooping myself in her apartment…” “Her apartment?” “Y-yeah. But…nothing happened.” “You’re allowed to do things, Baby. I never said you couldn’t.” It was nice to hear her say that, but it didn’t make what I said any less true. I repeated myself: “We didn’t do anything. But I really had to go. I didn’t want her to see me like that. I didn’t want to have to deal with changing myself there.” “How did that feel?” she asked. “What was it like to use a potty again?” Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it that much. I did what I felt I had to do in the moment, and it felt like the most normal thing–save for the embarrassment of leaving a toxic cloud behind in this poor girl’s bathroom. It was only in hindsight that it seemed strange or alien. “Good, I think.” “Uh oh. Is my baby ready for potty training?” I’d have been tempted to say yes–but feeling Mommy’s hands on my diaper as she pulled it open had me reconsidering. I was never going to get sick of this. In moments like this, I felt I could be convinced to have my diaper changed for me for the rest of my life. “I…don’t know.” “Well, you think about it, Baby,” she cooed to me as she drew the first moist wipe from its package. She ran it across my skin, sending those classic tingles up my spine. Maybe I’d just be in diapers for the rest of my life. “How was your night?” I asked. I don’t know what I was expecting–some breezy remark about doing some work or talking to Neve. But I noticed a change in her body language right away. She seemed guarded. Cautious, even. “It was fine,” she said. She quickly changed the subject: “But I’m much more interested in your night. Tell me everything.” I made a mental note to try and come back to this later–it felt like there was something that she wasn’t saying. In the meantime, I told my tale as best as I could. There were bits and pieces I left out–namely, how my mind kept wandering to Ava, though I also managed to skirt around Paige’s wandering hand. Freshly diapered, Mommy put me into a onesie and escorted me to my crib. “Sounds like you had a wild night,” she said, kissing me on the forehead. “All tuckered out now?” “Yes, Mommy.” A few months worth of early bedtimes had greatly diminished my stamina once it got dark out. On most days, I didn’t see it as a bad thing–prior to my total infantilization, I told myself plenty of times that I needed to get more sleep. Now, it was just another adjustment I’d need to account for as I took baby steps into adulthood again. Soon, Mommy was gone, leaving me alone in the crib so that I could drift off to sleep. I thought of Mommy. I thought of Paige. But then, I was just thinking about Ava again.

You're the best!

I'd love to find the original thread for this in whatever 4chan derivative it ended up happening in. I have some questions for our author here about his "testing." So...yes, this could theoretically work, with a huge, massive pile of caveats. I do not recommend anybody actually do this method. But let's talk about what I think is going on here. You have two muscles to "defeat" for incontience - the autonomic bladder neck/internal sphincter, and the consciously controlled external sphincter. Finding a medication to target the bladder neck is trivial - honestly, I recommend most people just stick with Tamsulosin/Flomax if they're looking for something. Easy to get generically, minimal list of side effects, and decades of use for this purpose, so it's widely understood by the medical community. However, Tamsulosin and similar meds won't make you incontient. It just makes it a little easier to pee. From my research, there was no medication that could reliably disable the external sphincter. This makes sense when you think about it - what medication could you take that would relax/disable *only* that muscle and not others like your arms or legs that have similar biological makeup? The one suggested here is interesting, but I'm skeptical how much it's actually doing here - I suspect the required doses to be effective would have significant side effects. This leads to my conclusion - I suspect these drugs are mostly placebo in helping people who were already diaper training to finally relax and let go. Placebo doesn't mean worthless - I've found there is a necessary part of training where someone feels like they can surrender their need to control themselves. But if there was a possibility to run a larger study under medical supervision...I'd definitely be interested in seeing the results.

Daniel is being kept under tighter surveillance than an inmate in prison. After a few days he feels like he's about to crack when Emmy tells him it's time sfor a special trip outside... --- Writing is my passion and my only source of income. If you enjoy my stories you may be interested to learn that you can see every update I post one week before the rest of the world with a $5 pledge on one of my subscription sites. There has been a lot of upheaval recently with Patreon purging a lot of ABDL content so I have tried to diversify a little so that I can continue to bring everyone stories. For just a $5 pledge on any of these you can see updates a week early and for $10 you can see all of my 50+ EXCLUSIVE stories only available to subscribers. The money I get goes to paying bills and putting food on the table so I appreciate all of my subscribers and would appreciate anyone who might be interested in supporting me to check out my subscription sites ❤️ https://subscribestar.adult/elfy https://reamstories.com/elfy --- The next few days were a nightmare for Daniel. If he thought Emmy was overbearing before his escape it was nothing like when he was brought back. Emmy didn’t let him out of her sight for a minute. He was constantly carried from room to room with his cousin and spent a lot of his time trapped in his walker. He constantly had a pacifier in his mouth and the only time it was removed was when he was given a bottle of milk or Emmy’s breast to feel from. Perhaps even worse than this supervision was the toy that was almost constantly attached to Daniel’s penis and balls. More often than not Emmy had it turned on to that infuriating intermittent buzzing that left Daniel drooling with pleasure but never allowing him to orgasm. After a few days of this buzzing Daniel was almost like a zombie. He was so desperately horny that his mind felt cloudy. He found himself thinking less and less about trying to escape or returning to his old life and more about just being allowed to cum. A part of his brain knew that this was Emmy’s intention. Daniel’s days were now filled with mindless children’s television, mindless baby toys and mindlessly filling his diapers. Every day seemed to blur together and soon Daniel forgot how long he had been with Emmy. It was a big surprise then when Emmy walked into the living room dressed as if she was going out. The chest harness she used for Daniel was on her chest which concerned him. “It’s a big day, baby.” Emmy said as she walked into the room with a smile, “We’re going to see some old friends of yours.” “W-We are?” Daniel replied with a frown. “We are.” Emmy replied, “But before we go we have three things we need to do.” Daniel lifted his arms up allowing Emmy to lift him out of the walker and hold him on her hip. He saw her put her hand in her pocket and pull out a couple of pills. She held them up and waited for Daniel to open his mouth. He wanted to resist but he knew that one way or another he was going to be eating those pills no matter what they were. He reluctantly opened his mouth and let the pill drop on his tongue. Daniel was handed a bottle and he used the juice to wash the pills down. “Good boy. Next we need to give you your special pacifier.” Emmy said. Daniel watched his tall cousin reach into her pocket again and this time she pulled out a pacifier. Daniel could see there was some liquid on the amber bulb and he thought he knew what was about to happen. The soother was pushed between his lips and he immediately felt the horrible numbing feeling washing over his lips. As the bulb was flicked by his tongue more of the liquid came out of it and started covering his tongue as well. It wasn’t long before his mouth was coated with the numbing gel. The pacifier was taking out of Daniel’s mouth. “Try and speak.” Emmy said, “Say “I love my big sister!”” “I wuw I ith iter.” Daniel tried but when he couldn’t feel his mouth it was nearly impossible. He blushed as Emmy giggled and pushed the pacifier back into his mouth. Daniel was wearing just a baby blue t-shirt and nothing over his diaper. He was lifted up and he saw Emmy checking his diaper before lowering him into the harness. He was a little damp but it wasn’t like he could tell Emmy that, not that she would’ve expected him to. Daniel was once again a passenger in his own life. The harness forced him back against Emmy’s chest and his head nestled between her voluptuous breasts. He didn’t feel particularly embarrassed by it anymore, after feeding from Emmy as much as he had the idea of his head being against her didn’t bring much shame anymore. Whilst Emmy walked out to the hallway and put her shoes on Daniel could only wonder how it had become normal for him to breastfeed. Daniel was carried outside the house and had to shield his eyes from the sun. The huge emptiness that spread out in every direction from Emmy’s house made it clear how hopeless Daniel’s position was. He had run away to the only house in miles only to find she was apparently friends with Emmy. He sunk lower in the harness as Emmy started heading up the road. It was a very warm day. Daniel wished he had his bottle as the pair of them made their way towards the shops from days ago. Instead of stopping at any of the stores though Emmy carried on past them. With a sudden jump Daniel realised Emmy was taking him towards the station he had originally arrived at on the way to Emmy’s house. Sure enough, after quite a while the station started looming up in the distance. “Nearly there.” Emmy said. She was a little out of breath, “Are you thirsty?” Daniel nodded his head. “Alright, we’ll sort you out when we’re sat down.” Emmy said as she reached up and rubbed Daniel’s hair. Daniel couldn’t believe he was being taken to the station. He didn’t dare to have hope but the fact they were moving a long way from Emmy’s house made him think he had a chance of some sort of escape. There were quite a few people walking around. The station was in a very rural area so it wasn’t extremely busy but there were still a dozen or so people buying tickets and waiting at the platform. Daniel tried to get people’s attention but no one seemed to do much more than stare for a few seconds. He couldn’t understand why no one found this strange. Yet again he slumped in his restraints, if anyone did find this strange they clearly assumed he wanted to be there or something because no one was intervening. Daniel was blushing wildly as Emmy bought the train tickets. He could see people looking at him and all he could do was flail his limbs and mumble around the pacifier. It seemed Emmy had great timing because as soon as they stepped on to the platform a train appeared in the distance and slowly pulled up at the station. The line was between two major cities but this stop was in the middle of nowhere so when the doors opened not many people got off but the carriages were reasonably full nonetheless. Emmy carried Daniel over to some free seats and finally lifted him out of the harness. “Right, let’s get you sorted out.” Emmy said. Daniel looked around. The seating was very open and he could see a lot of people looking his way. He was feeling very embarrassed. “Ewe eathe!” Daniel tried to talk but the numbness and pacifier combined to make it impossible. A thin line of drool rolled down his chin. “I know, baby.” Emmy said with a chuckle, “Just give me a moment.” “Ooth a aby!” Daniel cried out. Daniel looked around and saw only smiling sympathetic faces looking his way. Except they weren’t looking at him, they were looking at his giant cousin. It seemed they thought he was just a babbling baby. Was Emmy’s size creating an illusion where people thought he was a child? He didn’t know but it made him want to cry. Escape was available right there but he couldn’t do anything to grasp it. If only he could speak. “Let’s get your little toy going.” Emmy said quietly so only Daniel could hear. Daniel wondered what she meant for a second before the vibrator attached to his junk buzzed to life. He immediately gasped and the pacifier in his mouth fell on to the seat next to Emmy. His mouth remained open as he was instantly consumed by the feelings in his diaper. “I know you’re hungry, sweetie.” Emmy said. Daniel was looking up at the ceiling and laying horizontally across Emmy’s lap when he felt one of Emmy’s large hands turning his head to face her. Suddenly his whole vision was filled with Emmy’s large fleshy orb. His eyes went as wide as his mouth as he was brought forwards. Almost by instinct he latched on to his cousin’s breast though he couldn’t believe she was doing this in public! The thick milk started flowing and filling Daniel’s mouth. He felt almost sick with embarrassment as he sucked automatically and swallowed the sweet milk. He couldn’t see anything but the large breast that was pressed against his face but he could feel the eyes of the other passengers watching him. Daniel’s tummy rapidly filled with his cousin’s breast milk as it hadn’t been that long since he was fed breakfast. He was breathing heavily through his nose as the areas between Emmy’s breast and Daniel’s face became sticky with sweat. The breasts were so full of milk that even the smallest pressure was squirting the fluid into his mouth. He had to admit that after drinking it regularly for so long now he had grown to quite like the taste. The thick, creamy liquid was very filling but he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to stop until Emmy’s breasts were empty. Daniel’s attention turned to the buzzing in his diaper. He couldn’t help but let out little pants and moans as his hops writhed gently. He knew people were looking at him, the large baby feeding from his caregiver without a thought in the world. He was almost glad that Emmy’s large chest was hiding his blushing face. Between the thick warm milk, the buzzing and the gentle rocking of the train Daniel found himself getting quite sleepy. This was such a bizarre situation that his brain was struggling to comprehend everything that was happening. There was a rumbling in his tummy as it expanded and filled with the milk. As Daniel’s face was eventually pried off Emmy’s nipple his head rolled back and his eyes were only half-open. The sex toy that was constantly stimulating his genitals seemed designed to keep him occupied without allowing him to cum. He let his head turn to the side to see that people kept looking his way. In his constant state or arousal though he found it difficult to reach out for help. “That’s a good baby.” Emmy said softly as she gently ran a hand down Daniel’s front. The constant sexual teasing had clouded Daniel’s mind to the point that he could barely form coherent thoughts. He let out a milky burp that made Emmy giggle. All he could think about was his diaper area and the desperate need for release. The train journey seemed interminable for Daniel as he laid across Emmy’s lap lost to the vibrations in his diaper. He wanted to beg to be allowed to finish but his numb mouth meant all he could do was gurgle like a helpless baby. Despite how excited he was his bladder eventually overwhelmed his body and he wet himself. The piss streamed out of him as he was gently cradled by Emmy. As soon as he finished flooding his baby pants the vibrations came back to the forefront of his mind. “Nearly there.” Emmy said idly as she looked out the window, “Won’t it be nice to see all your little friends one last time.” If Daniel hadn’t been practically hypnotised by the sex toy he would’ve heard the words “one last time” and freaked out. As it was they got lost in the fogginess of his mind just like everything else that wasn’t in his hot diaper. As the train pulled in to the station Daniel had started to try and reach down to his diaper to desperately rub it in the hope of getting off. Unfortunately for him though Emmy was on top of such movements and was quick to pull his hands away. He whined and moaned desperately around the pacifier. Daniel was paying almost no attention to anything outside of his diaper so when Emmy stood up and placed him easily back in her chest harness he didn’t really know where they were. It was only as Emmy stepped out into the sunlight on the platform that Daniel realised he was back in his home town. The knowledge that he was so close to home managed to break through at least some of the fog that clouded his mind. He reached out a shaky hand as drool rolled down his chin and dripped down on to his clothes. “That’s right, baby!” Emmy said excitedly as if Daniel was an actual baby who had recognised something, “Do you recognise this place?” “Ooo ah ow.” Daniel tried to speak but the buzzing, the numbing gel and the vibrations made it impossible to sound coherent. “Good boy.” Emmy said with empty praise as she patted Daniel on the head. Daniel’s head was pushed back between Emmy’s breasts again as he was walked through the ticket barrier and out on to the street. He saw more sights he recognised as Emmy confidently walked along the pavement. All Daniel could see was the myriad heads turning to watch them both pass. He saw people staring, frowning and whispering to their friends. He felt utterly humiliated and tried to press back into Emmy’s chest, if it had been possible he would’ve pushed all the way back until his head was engulfed by the breasts on either side. Daniel whimpered as he tried to hide from the stares. He wished he could’ve called out for help but it was impossible, there were too many things preventing him from forming words. Next to the silence in and around Emmy’s house the sounds of the city now seemed so much louder and more hostile. “It isn’t far.” Emmy said as she walked down the street with her long stride. Daniel wasn’t sure where they were heading but his house wasn’t too far away. His attention was only briefly taken away from his diaper before he was brought back to his diaper. The vibrating sex toy surrounding his dick was now pressing against Emmy’s harness and making the feelings even more intense. It still wasn’t enough to make him orgasm even as he pressed the front of his diaper into the fabric harness. Daniel felt like he could feel his aching tool dribbling liquid as it begged to be allowed full release. He stopped paying attention to the stares, he stopped looking at where he was going, his eyes glazed over as he moaned desperately. “Here we are.” Emmy said several minutes later. Daniel was brought out of his reverie by Emmy’s words. He shook his head and looked up to see a sight that shocked him completely. They were still on the street but the building in front of them was very familiar to Daniel. He had been going to this building five days a week for years. It was his work place. --- You can find out what happens next RIGHT NOW on my subscription pages: https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1236022 https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyuiwxy1/chapter/bfa71c07-e3af-4c9e-9d67-de1daea0bad9

@Permanently Pampered I don't mind dry or wet, but the one thing that is a turn off is to see a SEVERELY MESSY diaper where looking at it would make me probably lose my lunch to see that. I don't object to a messy one when you can see that it has been used and you can see it. To have a diaper that is so severely dirty that it makes me lose my lunch, well, that would be a problem, as you are NOT supposed to post scat pics - If @DailyDi sees one of these, he'd probably delete it. I've seen a couple, and luckily I wasn't eating at the time....... Brian

In the next scene, Bernice will be asking pretty much the same questions you raise here, although the setup comes in the next two scenes in AARDVARK, which come first. So, a pivotal character also finds this all rather odd, which makes Ian's unusual behavior an integral part of the plot. Again we ask: what is he up to? Just as Vickie is defined early on, and then hints are scattered to lead you to anticipate what you are now learning about her, so there are hints scattered throughout the text to foretell what Ian is doing. In short, you are being set up, in the manner of Alec Leamas in Le Carre's early and brilliant The Spy Who Came in From the Cold, and the clues will continue to dribble out as we move forward. Hope you have fun unraveling the mystery!

Just go to a medical supply store and buy what. you want. You don't ned to tell your urologist anything.

A lot of us understand what you are saying here, @Mary Moon. We have similar feelings and experiences. I grew up wearing diapers to bed well past the "normal" age, and I wrestled with feelings of embarrassment and humiliation, intermingled with the knowledge that part of me actually liked wearing diapers, but even then, when I was less than 10, I knew that I couldn't tell anybody that, so I also felt shame. Part of me wanted to grow up and make my parents proud and put diapers in the past with other childish things, but when I was in them, I felt such comfort and joy, although it was always tinted with anxiety and embarrassment. So here I am now, 30+ years later, still working through those feelings, as you are. There are a lot of great people here who will understand where you are coming from.

This is going to become a reality for me at some point, too. Although I have friends in nursing, and from what I hear from them, someone coming in who wears a diaper to bed is about the least interesting thing they see. They don't care - they have half of their patients in diapers anyway, or they wish they were, because of the potential for falls if they have to get up and rush to the bathroom, or they have to buzz them for help, when they're run off their feet dealing with other things. Someone who voluntarily wears a diaper is welcome in their world - it means no stripping a bed, no rushing to assist with toileting, no emergency calls because someone got dizzy on the way to the bathroom. But, that said, I'm still going to swallow hard before I say to a medical professional, "Er, so... here's the thing. I'll be wearing a diaper..." I have not had to do that so far, although I did once have to drop my pants while wearing a pull-up, at the request of a doctor, who said exactly nothing about my underpants. And I once was given a transparent gown for an MRI and found myself in the middle of a brightly-lit waiting room with a nurse rushing over to give me a second gown, because my diaper was glowing under the harsh fluorescents.

When I had knee surgery I just asked the nurse during the pre-op consult what I should do. They suggested doing whatever I'm comfortable with, and suggested bringing "what I needed" from home if it would make me more comfortable. They've dealt with this many times before. Just ask.

Yes, that's how it is, i really like having moments in which i am cuddled and cared for, but i also like to remain myself, it's a partial regression more of sensations than mental. However, all things considered, this desire to be cared for is not an erotic thing for me. Let's say that at 20, having a diaper changed is not considered socially acceptable unless a partner does it in private. In the future, i would like to have such an intimate relationship with a person who can understand this secret side of mine. I'll tell you about an episode that always happened to me around that age in middle school: it happened that, due to a snowfall, while I was returning from school, the bus skidded on a slope on the mountain road and landed against a tree, so we were stuck there, waiting for the snowplow to arrive so we could continue. Due to my incontinence problem my situation was very difficult, because i was forced to hold my pee for longer than i usually manage (if i exceed two hours i am at serious risk of accident). Basically only thanks to the strength of my will i managed to hold it for about 3 hours, my bladder was on fire and i had tears in my eyes, but i absolutely wanted to avoid the humiliating accident in a bus full of kids my age. With great effort i managed to get to my stop and got off with my best friend to whom I had confessed my situation, so much so that she had offered to go to her house to pee which was closer than mine, only after a few steps, the pain in my bladder was too strong and i gave in and soaked my pants in front of her. I burst into tears, humiliated and mortified because my best friend had witnessed my accident. But instead of laughing, she hugged me and took me to her house where she helped me get cleaned up and lent me some of her underwear and trousers to change into. I remember us sitting there on her bed where i confessed to her about my incontinence problems and she cuddled me and comforted me by saying that she wouldn't tell anyone. And i admit that in that moment i felt good with me leaning on her shoulder and her caressing my head and reassuring me.

Hi, I understand this completely. I am primarily a DL but I do 'play' little sometimes. However, I have no desire to lose my intelligence so I play as a bigger kid / young teenager who has not been potty trained. This way I can hold a conversation, go out and about, but still need diapers and to be changed. I do like a bottle and dummy though. I like the cared for feeling too.

Lila on a family vacation This started as an English writing - training project for me. I have to give credit to the original Story “Lila’s family vacation” from Reatykeuniverse for the idea, the plot, and the beautiful name Lila that I used as a starting point. The first chapters are more like a close-bound rewrite with a lot of added sections in the middle, while the later parts just stick to the basic plot and do not have a lot in common with the original. This is the first part (apx. 6000 words) of the story that is already finished and has apx. 46000 words. While correcting takes a lot of effort for me due to my problem with reading and seeing spelling errors, it will take about two weeks to finish a chapter. So please be patient, I will try my best not to keep you waiting. Even though this is not my first story, I do a lot of writing in German, but it is my first story in English. I put a lot of effort into correcting all the grammar and spelling errors and hope there are not too many left to spoil your reading experience. I welcome any constructive feedback on my writing style, grammar and spelling, but please add as much information as possible, so I can improve. And I would also love to hear if you liked the story. If you want to know more, I just opened an intro thread in the nursery Annie's Intro ### Chapter 1 - Traveling - Discover what seemed to be lost. "Mum really, why do I have to wear diapers again?", complained Lila. "Hey honey, we are never going to force it if you don't want to," replied her mum Maria, "but you always wore them for the last years on our vacations, and it always made our trips a lot less stressful, for all of us?” She struggled with her decision while her mum placed the bag on her bed. This bag was clearly designed to appeal to a nurse in a retirement home and did not charm the little girl into the decision to wear them on the trip. As Lila stared at the colorful sheets of her bed, she felt the conflict in her. She was not eager to wear anything other than her panties. And all of her classmates in school would surely throw such a big tantrum that her parents would not dare to mention these diapers ever again. On the other hand, her mum was right, she wet the bed at least sometimes, and for some seconds she remembered how this unusual habit started for the now teenage girl. Whenever her parents could get some days off work, the family went on a trip together, and her mum used to put her girl in pull-ups just before they were leaving. All this started when Lila had a wetting accident when the family was on a city trip to Berlin when she was seven. It was the first year when she finally managed to stay dry during the day and at the packed museum, the line to the toilet was way too long for the young girl to hold it. Lila was in tears and did not want to leave the bathroom anymore, and her mum needed all her mummy magic to cheer the little girl up and get her ready for the rest of her day. To protect her from embarrassing accidents and to make it easier for her child, Lila, and her parents decided to keep her in the pull-ups she still wore for bed-wetting just in case during the day for the rest of the city trip. This worked so well that from there onwards, it became a secret family tradition for the little girl to be in pull-ups whenever they went on a vacation. In all those years, Lila didn't mind wearing pull-ups on occasions like this. She still wore them to bed at night, and wearing them on vacations during the day gave her back some kind of security. She even peed in them when she did not want to rush to the next restroom or was on the road. But now she is thirteen! Nearly a grownup woman in her eyes. And to her dismay, her mum got her tape diapers designed for a senile granny, instead of the slightly embarrassing but at least funny-looking pull-ups. Furthermore, she could slide down these bed-wetter's pants easily on her own when she headed to the bathroom. Lila had indeed outgrown her pull-ups, they did not fit her properly and on the rare occasions she wet the bed they hardly prevented the wet stains on the sheets. So the last time she'd worn them on a trip, her mom had decided to switch to diapers when she was not sleeping on her well-protected bed at home. While she still stared at the bag, Lila was obviously hesitant to wear ugly full-tape diapers, especially at her age. But after recalling her last wet night which was not even one week ago and that she probably would sleep on the plane, she ultimately decided to go with the diapers, just to be safe. "Fine..." she gave in, still trying to look serious, "But this is the last time I swear, and it will be just for the flights and when I sleep!" "You are such a responsible girl.", Maria praised her daughter, leaving her confused about what could be responsible in using diapers. "Please lie down, honey. So we get your diaper on you." Still, in her thoughts, Lila was obeying Mom's instructions sheepishly, took off her skirt and underwear, and laid herself on the soft bed while she noticed the crinkling of her mattress protector as she squirmed and twisted. "Can you put your bottoms up, please." her Mom patiently asked, not wanting to embarrass her girl more than necessary by just lifting her legs with her arms. And she unfolded a plain white fabric and laid it under her daughter's bum. Lila was weirdly feeling comfortable as she put some cream and powder on her before she taped the diaper in place and adjusted the leak guards. "We're all done, and you are ready for your vacation!" Her mum smiled at her. "Do you want to check that you have everything, we have to leave in fifteen minutes." ### Lila was in her thoughts for most of their trip to the airport. And when they arrived, Mum even needed to hold her hand because she was still daydreaming. However she looked at it, the diaper that she wore did not feel uncomfortable. She even liked the soft material that hugged her and that was wiping away all her worries. With the ease of her mind, she dreamed about all her past vacations where she was young and free. In retrospect, she had a really great childhood. Her parents were always there for Lila, and one of the reasons why she did not mind wearing her Pull-Ups in the past was that her parents did not make a big thing out of it when she had a small uppsie accident in them. After the family got their baggage checked in, they still had time to spare before heading for the gate, so they sat on one of the benches to wait and relax. Lila was exhausted from walking through the endless corridors and for a brief moment wanted to sit on her mom's lap as she did countless times in the past, but instead, she sat next to her, suddenly feeling her need to pee. "Mom," she secretly whispered, mindful that they were in a crowded airport, "I need to pee really urgently." “Oh, right now, can't you hold in any longer?” she replied searching for a bathroom while only seeing a corridor packed with endless shops offering their expensive and often useless duty-free stuff. As a young preteen child, Lila didn't mind using her pull-ups, especially when there was no clean bathroom nearby. She leaned on Mum's side, trying to get comfortable with all the people around. “This was much easier on our last trip”, she commented with a sigh. At the same time, she was getting ready to accept her daughter's wish to head to the bathroom whenever possible. “No mummy, I don't want to, my feet are hurting!”, Lila confessed. Wishing she had not protested against her parent's request for her to be diapered and unaware that her mum now could easily read the trouble of her little girl's mind like an open book "You know, I don't mind if you use your diaper, honey. I am sure it will hold up fine.", her mom carefully suggested, while at the same time easing her girl with her hand. For some seconds, Lila thought about that option out of her dilemma. Her parents put her in actual diapers, and that is what they are for, aren't they? Vaguely, she remembered the moon and the stars that promised a dry night on the package. It would soak up everything, she assured herself, while on the other hand remembering the good old days when she just peed in the pull-ups whenever she had to go. Once, she nearly let her mum talk her into going poopy, because they were in a subway with no bathrooms available. On that occasion, she finally made it to a stinky metro bathroom, and she also remembered that she wished she had any other option as it was so gross and dirty. However, this was completely different in her eyes. She just wet the bed in her sleep and the toilet was surely just a short distance away and perhaps most importantly, even when she was small for her age she was a teeny now. Her mum noticed the still ongoing fight in her girl's mind. “Don't worry, little one. Just go pee if you need to, that is what you wear them for. And it will be our secret, I promise”, she heard her mother, laying her arm on her daughter's shoulder. Was it really so strange for her to wet her diaper, she questioned her belief. Her mum just had given Lila permission to use it when she needed to pee. And the diaper felt so soft and comfy, it could not be that bad, could it? First slightly squirming, Lila tried to release the pressure on her bladder, but it was quite difficult to do so deliberately, especially sitting on a bench in a crowded airport. This time she obviously pushed, pressing her eyes together as she slowly was able to squeeze out a few drops. “It is quite hard if you are not used to it, do you want to sit with me, it makes it easier.”, her mum promised. Lila switched over to the welcoming lap, suddenly noticing the difference. Without the hard surface she was sitting on, the next push gradually grew into a steady flow, making her crotch warm and squishy for a second. She hardly could stop peeing until her need was gone, and she felt dry and comfy again. Mom had taken notice of the growing warmth on her lap and had figured out what was happening. "Are you done wetting?" she asked with a motherly smile. Still a little embarrassed but glad she had the urgent need off her mind, Lila nodded in response. "The shop assistant assured me, it will keep you dry even if you have to go pee another time. But are you still feeling comfy and dry?" asked her worried Mom as discreetly as possible. For a second she forgot she was in public, squeezing her thighs together and checking the now not-too-obvious bulge between her legs. Not bad she had to admit, it was warm and still soft but not wet as her old pull-up would have been. "I'm good.", said Lila as she decided to not switch back to her own seat and was slightly thankful that her mum talked her into wearing a diaper again. Actually, Lila thought the warm feeling of her wet diaper was quite pleasant. She could tell that she had peed quite a bit into her babyish underwear, but these diapers were more absorbent than her old bed-wetters pants, and they could definitely hold a lot more. Maybe she was hesitant when arguing that she did not need the diapers on the trip. And she had to admit that wetting herself was still a big stress relief for her on this busy transit through the airports. As the minutes passed, their flight was announced over the speakers and Lila's family made their way to the crowded boarding gate. “You should finish your bottle”, her dad reminded her about the half a liter of sparkling water in her hands. Lila took a sip, as she noticed she had to pee again. I am already wet, she thought and as she only pushed a little, she was surprised how easily she started wetting. “Lila, we better change your diaper before we board the plane, don't we honey?”, suggested her Mom, as she spotted a toilet with a baby changing symbol added to the women’s bathroom. “You know, having to change your diaper on the plane would be a nightmare and very obvious.” Without trusting her diaper too much, she agreed with Mom that a change in the plane would be better avoided. After placing their bags with Dad, Mom took Lila to the toilet. There was a changing table, but it was just made to change a baby, and it was way too small to accommodate Lila. But upmost importantly, it would have been incredibly embarrassing for the small but still teenage girl, so instead they headed to one of the empty stalls together. Her Mom shut the door, “Can you lift your skirt for me, please.” Lila shyly raised her skirt, revealing the yellow-tainted diaper. “It was a good decision we switched you to diapers”, explained Mom, as she removed the tapes, letting the sodden diaper suddenly fall on the floor with a ‘plop’. “Your pull-ups would have been leaking long ago”, she concluded. “Now, do you still need to go potty?” Yes, Lila did feel a very light need to go, but using her diaper was not as bad as she thought, and she slowly began to regret that she was so determined to not use them on the trip. At least she could be using them on the flight and avoid the smelly dirty places they surely used as toilets here as well, she was making her decision. “No, I’m fine, Mom.”, Lila replied as she remembered how disgusting the toilets in public always were. “Sure honey.”, her mum smiled again. She cleaned her darling with a couple of quick wipes, unfolded the fresh diaper, and taped it on her daughter as if she never stopped doing it. Lila let go of her skirt and enjoyed the dryness of her underwear for a second. A wet diaper did not feel uncomfortable at all, but the feeling of a fresh and clean one felt pretty nice as well. “Let's go on a vacation” her Mom cheered, as she rolled up her sodden diaper, throwing it in the bin. While Lila was in a daydream about what just happened, she stepped out of the stall and followed her Mom. ### “Honey, good morning, we have just landed.” whispered her Mom as she gently kissed Lila awake. Opening her eyes, the girl slowly began to sit upright, rubbing all the sleepiness out of her face while stretching her legs. Yes, it was a good flight, she loved the thrill of takeoff and enjoyed the view over the clouds while she was taking advantage of the drinks and snacks they delivered. Eventually, all her adventures of the day caught up with the young girl, and she had fallen asleep with a smile for the rest of her flight. Now, as she stretched and wanted to get up, she noticed the slightly damp and warm feeling in her crotch. She indeed used her diapers two times on the transit when she had to go, and she was glad that Mum had not said a word about the not-too-small amount of soda that she downed. Feeling awake and ready to explore now, Lila glanced around the plane, noticing that most of the passengers had already disembarked and were on their way to the luggage claim. She did not want to wait any longer, as her dad was busy getting their bags from the overhead compartment. And in a moment her daughter was up on her feed waiting for her day bag and ready to start their vacation. As she was on her feet, she noticed her soaked diaper sag a little and the bulge between her legs was quite visible now if you knew it was there. She checked the back of her skirt for leaks and surely was relieved that everything still was dry For a second she wondered, whenever she had used her pull-ups it never felt this heavy. But this diaper had kept her dry and could handle a lot more than her old bed-wetters pants. As they followed all the signs to the baggage claim, Lila's belly started to feel uncomfortable, and she eventually had to go to the bathroom soon. Seeing that her parents were in a bit of a rush, she paid no mind to the ache and focused on keeping up with their pace. After arriving at the baggage claim, Lila went to grab a trolley while Mom and Dad waited at the conveyor belt for their bags. She pushed the trolley forward and joyfully jumped while rolling with it for some meters when she noticed the need to go suddenly coming back. But her parents looked so busy in the hustle and bustle of the airport, and she did not dare to raise her voice. Obviously, her only option was to tell Mom to take her diaper off for her to go to the restroom. But as she thought about that stinky room, she got a slight feeling of nausea in her throat. Actually peeing in the diapers saved her from this unpleasant experience on the transit through the airports. And now that she realized that this need would not be solved in such a quick but also childish and embarrassing manner, the worries that were so distant returned. Her mum sometimes offered her to just go when she was at the edge of having an accident and even if that was some years ago, she had to admit that her current underwear was made with that kind of accident in mind. And she even wore full tape-on diapers and was not in pull-ups now. Little kids and Babies do that all the time, don't they? She even remembered the adults talking about kids on the edge of potty training, just putting a diaper on when they needed to poop. It cannot be that uncomfortable. She was wondering what it would be like to go poopy in her diaper. And while the idea settled into her mind, she even got a little curious about how it would feel. Suddenly the need to go returned. Lila was sure she would not be able to hold back much longer as she squirmed and wiggled, hoping her need just would go away. “Lila, you look so worried. What's up?” she suddenly approached her little girl who was obviously feeling uncomfortable. “I... I am fine. It is just I may need to go to the bathroom a little longer really soon.”, she admitted sheepishly. “I can go to the toilet with you after we get our bags, in about five minutes, can you still wait for so long?” she explained, not realizing that her girl was on the edge of losing the battle against her belly. Lila put her hand on her tummy and felt the growing need to go now. Slowly shaking her head, she looked at her as she always did when she desperately wanted her help. “Can’t you come with me, so we can go now.”, she asked shyly, not willing to let her mum go and signaling that she might not be able to go on her own. “No baby, Bernhard needs my help, we cannot leave right now. ... So if you really need to go so urgently, I wouldn’t mind you using your diaper for poop as well. It's just a short trip to our hotel and I can change you when we get there easily.”, she told her and stroked her back as she always did when she was uncomfortable or stressed. Her mum just suggested that she should poop in her ‘just in case’ diaper. This was so embarrassing was her first thought, but after some moments she realized it would finally take the ache from her. And while everyone else would have ditched the proposal, for Lila it calmed her dilemma and even made her a little curious. Peeing in the diaper was such a relief, so pooping herself could not be so bad after all? She assumed in her mind. She smiled in Lila's face. “I really don't mind if you need to. You don't have to fight that hard.”, she tried to ease away the little girl's resistance. Maybe using it was the best option for her. As embarrassing as it was to admit, the thought of doing that with her mum’s consent made her feel loved and protected as if nothing could harm her. So Lila started wondering what it would feel like to actually do the other thing as well. With a sigh, Lila decided she wanted to try it, at least once. And this time she had a good excuse. Her parents had no time to accompany her, and she would not dare to go into the toilet alone, which could potentially be gross, dirty, and scary with all the unfamiliar people around. Even the idea of facing all the looks of strangers, the smells and flushing sounds without someone she knew close made her confident about her decision. “I think I'll use my ... you know, Mommy.”, Lila whispered, embarrassed and felt like a loved little girl while her mommy protected her. “It's ok you will feel much better”, she heard her say as Mom smiled and nodded, and joined Dad at the conveyor belt, leaving Lila some meters away waiting with their trolley. Lila tried to let it go, like she did when she needed to pee on the plane. But the ache in her belly just intensified further, and she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. After all, pooping herself was a lot more … involving than peeing. As she looked up again, she noticed all the adults were just staring where their luggage would appear. Surely no one would pay any attention to her, except for mum and dad of course. With that in mind, Lila leaned a little bit forward, resting some of her weight on the trolley. She relaxed her hold on her bowels and gave another slight push. A small trickle of pee released first before a tiny bit of her mess began making its way out. It cannot be that hard, Lila wondered, as she saw a little baby boy standing with his legs slightly apart, clearly doing his business in his pants. He does not care at all that he was messing his diaper. She felt the pressure in her belly coming back and also slightly spread her legs apart as she started to push. This time there wasn’t resistance in her tummy. Lila could feel the warmth quickly spreading as sticky poop squished against her bum. In relief, she exhaled and felt the load settle itself at the back of her diaper. Lila felt her belly relaxing a little. She now just wanted to feel comfortable again and all this nasty stuff out of her tummy. Once again she pushed a little harder, this time, and a few seconds later she was confident she had gotten everything out, while she realized that the feeling of pooping herself was much different from just wetting. While the diaper would quickly absorb all her pee, the poop had instead formed a slightly warm mess at the back of her diaper. However, she felt that it was actually quite pleasant and didn't feel bad at all. And it’s at least much better than having to use an icky, stinky restroom. Lila assured herself. She shook herself and pretended to smooth out the back of her skirt, carefully placing her hand on the diaper to make sure it was not too obvious as she was still in public. And she noticed the diaper was heavier now, and the sag kept most of her firm mess away from the childlike-looking girl's skin. For a second she smelled a faint lingering odor of poop. But she looked old enough that no one would expect it to be her who is poopy. Lila raised her head and saw her Mum looking over at her while she was still standing here doing her business as the little baby boy did just some moments ago. She noticed the kind smile on mummy's face as she turned back, helping dad take a heavy bag off. Mum knows, flashed to her mind as she wanted to be back with her parents. Lila slowly walked towards the conveyor belt to join them again. Somehow she wanted to tell them that she was messy, but it was much too embarrassing and babyish for her to admit. What will my daddy think of me just going in my diaper for that as well? The slight scent, however, told her parents anyway as she was approaching them. As Bernhard had picked up all their bags he sniffed and, with a knowing gaze, took Lila by her hand as he had not done for some years. “Let's get our car and finally head to the hotel.”, he said, willingly ignoring what his child just did and as if he was telling her everything was ok Lila was glad she was not alone anymore. She followed Dad and also stayed close to him while they were standing in the car rental pickup line. Standing in line, her mom decided that it was a good time to do a quick diaper check. She tried to pull on Lila's back of her pants, when her daughter quickly turned away and leaned closer to dad “Mom!” she exclaimed, “people are going to see!” “Don’t worry, no one’s going to think badly of you. And I just have to make sure that your diaper was holding up after your accident. You don't want to have a messy leak in the rental car after all. So do you let me check your diaper?” replied Mom with a loving smile while she did not even bother to lower her voice. “Mum ... !“, Lila tried to make a futile argument, while her dad just looked her in the eyes. “Really baby. No one knows you here, so it’s okay you don't need to feel ashamed about accidents while using diapers for traveling.” he underlined Mum's argument. The girl was really embarrassed now and hid her face in her dad's shirt. Lila felt loved, and she trusted her parents, but at the same time, she felt like a small toddler being checked for a messy accident. “I will have a short look.", her mum announced once more. Lila just moved her head in approval, while she felt her mum touch her bum and felt a tiny pull at her waistband and the back of her diaper. “You will be fine for now.”, she announced after a second. Getting her diaper checked by Mom was embarrassing, not only because they were in public, but also because it was their parent’s proof that she had indeed messed herself. Oh well, thought Lila. Her parents had surely smelled it already, and they would see it when she was in the hotel room. Dad hurried away with the clerk from the rental company and got over to the pick-up point. The mother and daughter couple patiently waited outside, where the company put some benches for all the waiting customers. With all the arriving passengers, nearly all seats were taken, and her mum just got the last free spot. “Do you like to sit on my lap again?”, she offered her girl, as she knew her feet were hurting after the long day of traveling. “But I have just...”, Lila stumbled as discreetly as she could, while at the same time she could not confess that she had a messy load in her diaper. “I am your mum, I don't mind your little skunky bum, and I have seen and changed you a lot in the past years”, she calmed her down, while not even confirming that this accident was a one-time ever event for her childlike small but already teenage daughter. Lila slowly sat on her mom's lap, while the strange feeling of the soft mess now spread all over her boom, confused her senses and created the strong childish need to cuddle with her mum. As her mum wrapped her loving arms around her, she no longer could stand being the independent teeny anymore but hid her face on mum's shoulder, ignoring what she might look like. Feeling her body so close and being loved by her mum was all she needed to leave her grumpy teenage thoughts behind. “Hi, you sleepy head, you have a really comfortable seat don't you”, her dad greeted her daughter as he arrived with their rental car and took their heavy luggage into the trunk. “Yes Daddy”, she cheered, not yet ready to let Mum go. “Lila is so sweet and affectionate today.”, her mother responded. “Do you want to cuddle your daddy too?”, the man offered his darling a chance to leave her mom's lap. She hugged him, still experiencing the irresistible childlike love for her parents. As if her dad had been on a week-long business trip, she now was clamping on him, even not letting him go as he lifted her up as a little girl. “We had a small issue with the car arrangement.”, the strong man on her shoulder, told his wife. “They did not have a booster for our Lila. The only possibility was the safer but more expensive child seat option for younger ones, but at least they did not charge us extra.” Feeling so much love from him, the girl could not protest, but she still didn't want it to be too childish. “What kind of child seat?”, she found the courage to ask, interrupting her parent's discussion. “Oh, it is a nice one in a purplish red color”, he advertised. Without dropping his girl to the ground, he took her over to the backseats of the car, opening the door and revealing a full-sized seat that even had shoulder straps as a seat for a rally driver. First, she wanted to protest that she was not a baby, but then the love from her parents and the comfortable hug lulled her into thinking twice about it. Wasn't her diaper the same thing, something childish, that could actually feel nice and comfortable? “Oh I am sure you are in for trouble”, his wife commented on the seat that her husband had chosen, remembering all the discussions she had with her daughter in the past weeks. Lila did not want to be a grumpy vacation Grinch, and maybe she also wanted to show her mum that she was wrong. “It is ok, at least we will have one, and we can enjoy our time here.” Her teenage side enjoyed the surprised feeling on her mum's face. “I think our big girl is not as grumpy and cranky as you think. Can I let you down to try it? It may be a little difficult with the buckles.” “But Daddy, I still want to cuddle with you.”, she confessed that the child in her was back in command. Slightly caught off guard, he whispered, “Do you mind if I tuck you in?”, he suggested, remembering the countless times that he placed his sleepy or sad daughter in the back of their car. “Yes Daddy” she mumbled while the only important thing was that he did not let her down on the hot and hard street. With some well-trained moves, he opened the door and let her slip on the seat. Without thinking, she put her hands in the shoulder straps and let him close the buckle with a click. Lila wiggled a little And while she noticed the lack of space to move, she somehow also felt comfortable. She liked the soft fabric and the small pillow that was there for her head. “I like it”, she confirmed again. And as the adults smiled a little, she added, “Just don't make me use it at home when my classmates see me. Ok?” The two adults, who were still astonished by the change in her teenage girl’s temper, got in at the front. With the push of a button, they opened the window a bit to let in the fresh summer vibes and to keep Lila's poopy smell at bay that still kind of lingered around her. As the drive was getting boring, she had time to think about all the things that changed while they left their city apartment. Most of all was that she, despite all her doubts, actually liked her diapers and the freedom she had to pee or even poop whenever she needed. But there was also the trust and love for her parents that was crowing again, as if her puberty had never sent the first confusing ideas in her mind. Making her more cranky than she actually wanted to be. ### Excited about the new place, Lila jumped on the queen-size bed in their hotel room. Her parents had just checked themselves in at the reception, and the young girl could not wait to explore everything the place had to offer. There were so many nice things she could think about that she nearly forgot about her messy diaper, that she still wore under her slightly childlike shorts. Mom had started unpacking all their bags, while her Dad headed down to the lobby, surely parking their car in the hotel's parking garage. As the last empty bag was packed away, her Mom looked at her girl. Lila was lying on the bed, checking out the kid's channels on TV while thinking about the hotel pool and the waterslides that they had here. The last things that Mom left on the bed were Lila's old travel changing mat and a fresh pack of wipes. “Honey, come, let us get that poopy diaper of yours changed.” Mom announced as she placed the mat and her wipes next to her on the bed. “Can you lift your tushie for a moment, baby?” “I am not a baby” she insisted, ignoring the obvious smell and still letting her mum slide the changing pad up under her back. Then she raised her skirt over her belly. With her hand, she signaled her girl, that she could lie back down Lila could feel the soft but water-impermeable layer around her changing area and noticed that she was indeed acting as if she was a baby girl. And while noticing that, she became a lot more self-conscious about the embarrassing thing she did. “Mom you know, I think I have to clean that up by myself.” offered Lila embarrassed, and at the same time she simply wanted to vanish into thin air. But still, she trusted her mum that she would not leave her alone with all the mess she had in her diaper. Maria placed her hand on her kid's belly, “I will do that, honey. I promised that when I told you to go poopy.” replied Mom. “Besides, when you were a baby, I’ve changed your poopy diapers a ton of times, and I really don't mind doing it again today.” Lila relaxed as she heard that, she relented in relief and slowly spread her legs, making it at least as easy as possible for her Mom. “Oh, this diaper is full.” giggled Mom as she opened the tapes, revealing the mess on her booty. “I am sorry. Your mummy should have changed your way earlier. This must have been very uncomfortable.” “It was not that bad, Mom, I nearly forgot about that after some moments.”, replied Lila honestly. “You know actually ...“, she continued, before her embarrassment suddenly stopped her. “Actually, ...?” continued her Mom, as she softly began wiping down Lila’s messy tushie. “It’s just… I don't know, it made the trip much easier for me and I kind of liked it a little, I guess…” stumbled Lila. “And I really hate to go to the smelly bathrooms. In my diapers I felt so loved and protected as if I am still your little child.”, she confessed. “You are always my child and I love you.”, she told Lila and Mom continued wiping in silence as the young girl enjoyed the feeling of the cold, soothing wipe gently rubbing against her skin while being so close to her mum. As Maria rolled up the dirty diaper, she kissed her belly. “You are all clean now.” exclaimed her mom, waiting for a second to see if she would stand up to get her panties on. But as the moments passed, it was clear that there was more Lila wanted from her. And with a sarcastically strict voice, she said, “Now, we have something to discuss, my little one. You know, I used to insist that you wear pull-ups in the past because I didn’t want you stressing about having an accident, especially since you wet the bed pretty often.” She paused for a second to see Lila’s reaction and when there was no sign of refusal she continued, “Today I promised you that you could switch back to wearing undies this year. But, you had accidents in them a lot today, and you told me you also liked the security and comfort that they gave you. So I thought we might as well keep you in diapers like what we’ve always done, or do you really want to switch back to underwear right now and just wear them as bed-wetting briefs at night?” Mom’s question surprised Lila. She did enjoy her diapers a little on the trip, and she just told her that it was comfy and made her feel protected and small. She now regretted her strong refusal. And while her pride as a teenager was on the line, she truthfully did want to be diapered again. “Do you mind if I choose the diapers?”, confessed Lila with her face red like a tomato... “Of course not, my girl. I think those will give you a much more relaxed vacation if you don't have to worry about bed-wetting when you are tired.”, said Mom, who then went to grab some fresh diapers and powder from the closet. “But how can I go to the bathroom and pee when I wear them, I mean they are real diapers and not just pull-ups” the girl wondered as she felt the soft fabric under her bum. “Oh.” Her mum replied, “I really don't mind you using them when you need to go, and if we have a toilet close by you just come with me and I help you to get to the potty” Gently, she fluffed up another plain white diaper, placed it under her booty, and sprinkled a little bit of powder. After checking the alignment was right and nothing was too tight, she taped the diaper in place and carefully adjusted the leak guards, as Lila rolled over at her belly and giggled. “You are done, baby”, she said as she gave the diaper a gentle pat “Could you tell me when you need a change.” her mum reminded her of their mutual agreement that they had on their previous trips. “Okay.” nodded Lila. The little girl somehow was conflicted. Wearing a diaper, wetting and pooping in it was surely supposed to have been so shameful. Especially for a young woman her age, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the strange feeling at all. And getting her diaper changed by her mom was supposed to be extremely embarrassing at thirteen. But for her, it was different. It felt somewhat nice. She felt like a loved child and enjoyed the childish affection and trust, she experienced while returning into this nearly lost stage of their mummy-daughter relationship.

🤣 🤣 🤣 Glad someone appreciated the little giggle I had writing that line! 🙂 Thanks for the comments! 🙂

Frankly just weakening or partially disable the internal sphincter/bladder kneck should be enough to dramatically jump start incontinence training. As far as I know, adults, save those with severe nervous system dysfunction, have near complete control over their external sphincters, so relaxing thoseis easy. The problem has always been convincing the unconcious mind and it's control over the internal sphincter to relax and release. I could see two or three months of diminished or destroyed control in someone who already wants incontinence being enough to convince their subconscious to give up on clenching those muscles. The unconscious is lazy and if you are leaking anyway there wouldn't be a reason to try. And that amount of time would be plenty for a habit to set in.

A regular customer filed chargebacks on $60 worth of recent donations. Even though the donations had been confirmed and acknowledged publicly. $90 being sucked out of my nearly dry bank account. PLEASE if you don't recognize a charge, or even change your mind, let me know! I can refund it without the fees and reputation hit of a chargeback.

I have been a bedwetter to some of extent all my life. Came back really frequently at 40 and have worn for bed since then. Also stated to have daytime accidents so wear 24/7. Have had lots of medical intervention with little success. Was told that eventually I could loose bowel control, but until recently thought I had missed that bullet, as only messy accidents were if I had very loose bowels when the difference between farts and pooing got a bit blurred. However last few week I have had quite a few messy nappies - still feel the need to go, but not much time now between getting feeling and it coming out - I try to hold it in, but can not hold on and I mess my nappy. So far this week all my bowel movements have ended up in my diaper. While it is not at all unpleasant, it is a bit of a shock to be using my diaper with no or very little control, already had no control of my pee. I knew it would eventually happen, but still a bit of a shock to be messing myself like baby.

Must admit also seems to happen in the morning - always been quite regular - have not used the toilet for over two weeks - there used to be some resistance, now I just feel a sudden urge to poo and it starts to come out - sort of getting used to it, like I had to when my urinary incontinence kicked in

In the past I have done that. But I can only wear a catheter for short periods while not around my wife. If my urologist said I needed one I could wear all the time and not be questioned.

Ditto what the others said. But probably leave the nursery print plastic panties at home.... 😂🤣😄 I actually wore a disposable diaper to a medical procedure a few years ago. They had to "put me under" for the procedure, and I was also in a hospital gown. I mentioned to the prep nurse that I wet when I sleep, so I was wearing an "incontinence brief". As I was telling her this, I raised the side of my hospital gown a little, showing her what I was talking about. She just smiled and said that was no problem, and it was much common than I might think.

Chapter 15: The labyrinth unveiled As they approached the entrance of the library, Ghost signaled for his team to follow. The large wooden doors creaked softly as they swung open, revealing the dimly lit interior. The Hellcats moved in like silent shadows, their footsteps muffled by the thick carpet underfoot. Ghost led the way, his eyes scanning the rows of bookshelves. He could feel the tension building within the team, each member sensing they were mere steps away from the unknown dangers lurking beneath. Rabbit trailed close behind, her fingers dancing over her tech pad, ensuring they remained undetected as they ventured deeper. "We've reached the second underground level, Argos," Ghost reported, his voice barely a whisper. He could hear the soft hum of machinery in the distance, a telling sign they were drawing closer to their target. "Bring up the lift." The team huddled together, watching as the lift slowly ascended from the depths below. As it came to a stop, Ghost turned to his team, his eyes reflecting the determination that burned within them all. "We're going in hot. Be ready for anything." With a nod from Rabbit, the team stepped onto the lift, their hearts pounding in sync as they descended into the unknown. The lift jolted to a stop, and Ghost gestured for the others to follow as he led the charge towards the lab entrance. As they neared, the sound of footsteps echoed through the corridor. Wire, their sharp-shooter, tense and ready, whispered into her commLink, "I've got eyes on possible hostiles. Heavy with Nannybots." "Hold your fire," Ghost ordered, his voice steady. "We're here for the captives, not a firefight." The lab's entrance loomed ahead, a large metal door etched with the faded emblem of Emerson University. Ghost signaled for Rabbit to get to work on the door's security panel. As she began to work her magic, the sound of footsteps grew louder, and the distinctive shape of Nannybots appeared on the horizon. "We don't have much time," Ghost warned. "Make it quick, Rabbit." With a triumphant smile, Rabbit pried open the panel, exposing the delicate wiring within. She worked deftly, her fingers a blur as she bypassed the security system. With a final spark of electricity, the door groaned open, revealing the hidden complex beyond. The team stood at the threshold, their hearts racing as they prepared to face the unknown. They knew this was just the beginning - a dangerous mission fraught with peril. But they were the Hellcats, a force to be reckoned with, and they would not rest until they had saved their own. As they stepped through the door, they vanished into the maze of twisting corridors, their footsteps echoing through the cavernous space. The fight to save their friends had truly begun, and they would not hesitate to risk everything in their quest for freedom. For they were not just warriors - they were heroes, united against an oppressive world that sought to keep them down. The battle had started, and the outcome hung in the balance. But the Hellcats were ready, and they would not be easily defeated. With a final nod from Ghost, they advanced, their hearts filled with hope, their spirits unbroken. For they were the Hellcats and they would not rest until victory was theirs. The drone, a sleek hovering orb, emerged from the shadows like a specter, its sensors locking onto the Hellcats. It beeped a series of crisp, coded messages that only a machine could understand. "Looks like we've got a guide," Wire remarked, her eyes fixed on the mechanical escort. Ghost nodded, his gaze never leaving the drone. "Argos, you're sure this thing's friendly?" Through their earpieces, Argos's voice resonated with the clear certainty of a thousand computations. "Affirmative. The drone is an extension of my surveillance network. Follow it to your objective." The Hellcats exchanged wary glances as the drone pivoted, signaling them to proceed. The metallic corridor stretched out before them, terminating at a formidable door that looked like it had survived wars from another time. "This is old tech," Rabbit observed, eyeing the sturdy construction of the blast door with a hint of disapproval. "Not what you'd expect in a place like Emerson." "Old doesn't mean easy," Ghost countered. "Let's stay sharp." As they neared the door, the drone emitted a low-frequency pulse. The massive door responded with a series of mechanical clicks and groans before it reluctantly began to slide open. The Hellcats paused at the threshold, taking in the descent that awaited them beyond the door. It was as if they were about to plunge into the bowels of history itself. Ghost turned to his team, his voice tinged with the gravity of their situation. "We don't know what's down there. Keep your eyes peeled and watch each other's backs." Rabbit pulled out her tech pad once more, her fingers moving with practiced ease. "I'll jam any signals coming in or out. We don't want any surprises." Wire checked her weapon one last time, feeling its familiar weight in her hands. "I'm ready to light up anything that moves wrong." The Hellcats advanced down the staircase with measured steps, their senses alert for any sign of danger. As they descended deeper into the darkness, each knew they were moving further away from the world they knew and deeper into uncertainty. Argos's voice was their lifeline in the silence that enveloped them. "I will monitor your progress from here. Good luck, Hellcats." The Hellcats followed the drone, their senses on high alert as they navigated the winding corridors. "This doesn't feel right," Wire muttered, her grip tightening on her weapon. "What the hell is a door like that doing in a university?" Ghost shook his head, his voice grim. "I don't know, but I don't like it. Rabbit, see if you can get us through." Rabbit stepped forward, her tech pad already in hand. She scanned the door, her brow furrowing as she processed the data. "This is some serious hardware, Ghost. It's going to take some time." Ghost exchanged a glance with his team, their expressions mirroring his own unease. But they had come too far to turn back now. With a nod, he signaled for Rabbit to continue her work. Minutes ticked by, each second feeling like an eternity as they stood before the imposing door. Finally, with a triumphant cry, Rabbit stepped back, the door sliding open with a hiss of hydraulics. Beyond lay a staircase, descending even deeper into the bowels of the earth. The Hellcats hesitated, the weight of the unknown pressing down upon them. "I've got a bad feeling about this," Wire whispered, her voice barely audible over the pounding of their hearts. Ghost nodded, his jaw set with determination. "So do I. But we don't have a choice. Our targets are down there, and we're not leaving without them." With a deep breath, he stepped forward, his team falling in behind him. The drone led the way, its soft glow illuminating the path ahead. As the Hellcats descended the ancient staircase, the air grew thick with the scent of bygone conflicts. The walls bore the scars of a time when the world trembled under the weight of relentless ambition and technological prowess pushed to its limits. They moved cautiously, each step resonating with history's echoes. "These walls... they've seen more than just academic disputes," Rabbit murmured, her voice a hushed reverence for the past. Ghost nodded, his eyes scanning the shadows. "Yeah, this place reeks of old power plays and secrets best left buried." Wire adjusted her weapon, her gaze fixed on the distant darkness. "Remember the stories our elders would avoid? About an age when our kind wasn't just marginalized but caught in a crossfire of giants?" A grim understanding passed between them; none dared to voice it directly, but each mind raced with tales of a colossal struggle that had once shaken the foundations of their worlds. Rabbit glanced at Ghost, her eyes seeking confirmation. "You think this is part of that... legacy?" Without a word, Ghost ran his fingers over a large dent in the metal wall — a silent testament to a violent impact from an era long past. The drone ahead paused as if waiting for them to absorb the gravity of their surroundings. "Feels like we're walking through a museum dedicated to mistakes," Wire commented, her tone laced with unease. The silence hung heavy as they continued through the labyrinthine passages. The deeper they went, the more palpable the sense of foreboding became. Rabbit's fingers paused on her tech pad, a frown etching her features. "These energy readings... they're off the charts. Whatever happened here, it wasn't just a footnote in history." Ghost led them forward with a quiet resolve. "Let's keep moving. We've got lives to save, regardless of what ghosts we're walking among." They pressed on, their steps synchronized with the pulse of revelations that thrummed through the ancient corridors. The Hellcats knew they were treading upon ground that once quaked with the fury of two worlds clashing — yet their mission was clear: rescue and survive. Ghost stopped short when they reached an intersection. He held up a hand, signaling his team to halt. "Listen," he whispered. A distant rumble reverberated through the corridor, sending vibrations through the soles of their boots. "That doesn't sound like any Nannybot I've ever heard," Wire said. Rabbit checked her tech pad again, her expression tightening. "There's an energy spike ahead. Something's active down here—and it's not just surveillance." They shared an uneasy look, understanding that whatever lay ahead was part of a legacy far older than any mission they had undertaken before. "Could be leftover security systems from the war," Ghost speculated, his voice low but clear. Wire grimaced at the thought. "Let's hope they don't mistake us for enemy combatants." With renewed caution, they advanced down one corridor after another, each step a reminder of the risks they were taking by delving into this relic of a bygone conflict. "Argos," Ghost spoke again into his comLink as they continued their descent into history's depths, "keep your sensors peeled for anything out of place." "Understood," came Argos's reply through their earpieces. "You are walking through shadows of the past—stay vigilant and mind the steps…" * * * "Damn, I hate these giant steps," Foxboy muttered, looking up at the next flight with a grimace. "Trust the drone, Foxboy," he said, gesturing towards the small device scooting in front of them. "It'll guide us through." With a deep breath, Foxboy activated his exoskeleton. The mechanical limbs extended from his body, giving him the strength and agility to jump over each step with ease. The Hellcats followed suit, their own exoskeletons humming as they leapt from one stair to the next. Ghost led the way, his eyes fixed on the drone in front of them. Rabbit and Wire trailed behind, their weapons at the ready. As they descended deeper into the library's subterranean levels, they could feel the air growing colder and more oppressive. Foxboy watched them go, his face hardening with resolve. He flexed his fingers around the handles of his exoskeleton and then pushed off from the ground. The force propelled him upwards and forwards, carrying him up multiple flights in one bound. Ghost's communicator vibrated against his wrist, a silent but urgent demand for attention amidst the darkness of the underground labyrinth. With a swift motion, he signaled the team to halt, their bodies instantly tensing in anticipation. Rabbit's fingers paused over her tech-pad, and Wire's eyes scanned the shadows for any sign of movement. "Emergency hold," Ghost whispered, his voice barely a ripple in the still air. The Hellcats exchanged quick glances, their training kicking in as they secured their positions. Rabbit tapped her earpiece, connecting to the voice that had become their lifeline in this clandestine operation. "Argos, what's happening?" The AI's voice was calm, almost dispassionate, yet it carried the weight of urgency. "I'm redirecting the video feed from the nursery to your devices now." The Hellcats' communicators flickered to life, displaying an image that tightened Ghost's jaw and sparked a fire in Rabbit's eyes. On the screens before them lay Bixente and Adrian, unconscious and heavily diapered. The bulky garments made them appear immobile and vulnerable—a sight that fueled their rescuers' determination. "They're deep asleep," Argos continued, "the current state renders them nearly incapable of movement." Wire let out a low growl, his instincts railing against the sight of comrades so helplessly bound. "We can't leave them like that," he hissed. Argos was already one step ahead. "I suggest waiting until they are changed into pull-ups before initiating rescue. Mobility will be crucial for a swift extraction." Ghost nodded slowly, considering Argos' strategic advice. The image of Bixente and Adrian seared into his mind—two warriors reduced to this state was more than just unsettling; it was personal. "Agreed," Ghost replied with a firmness that left no room for debate. "We'll wait for the changeover." Rabbit checked her tech-pad again, adjusting parameters and timing with precise taps. "That gives us a window," she murmured. Wire shifted his weight, his gaze never leaving the screen where Bixente and Adrian lay defenseless. "Let's make sure it's a damn small window," he growled. "Consider the ventilation system," Argos suggested, its voice cutting through the tension that hung heavy in the underground space. "It will allow you to advance undetected and maintain the high ground." Ghost considered Argos's proposal. He glanced at the blueprints of the library displayed on his communicator. His eyes traced the labyrinth of ducts that ran throughout the structure, offering a hidden network of paths that bypassed heavily guarded corridors. The drone buzzed impatiently in front of him, its soft light casting long shadows on the stone walls. It was ready to lead them through the maze of vents and tunnels, a guide through their metallic jungle. "Copy that, Argos," Ghost replied, his gaze hardening with resolve. He turned to his team, their faces masked by night vision goggles but their determination clear. "We're going airborne." Rabbit's fingers danced over her tech-pad, adjusting their equipment for the new plan. She nodded once at Ghost, signaling her readiness. Wire was already inspecting his grapple gun, checking its functionality with practiced ease. The quiet hum of its motor filled the air as he tested it, a sound that was both comforting and ominous. Foxboy followed suit, his smaller frame advantageous in navigating tight spaces. He moved to the head of the group, poised to lead them into the vent system. With a swift motion, Ghost activated his grapple gun. The wire shot upwards, latching onto an unseen anchor point within the vent above them. He gave it a firm tug, testing its hold before glancing back at his team. "On me," he ordered. One by one, they ascended into darkness. The clank of their boots against metal echoed faintly in the cavernous space below as they disappeared into the labyrinth above. As Ghost crawled through narrow tunnels and around tight corners, he could hear the faint whirr of Argos's drone leading the way. The AI's soft glow cast an eerie light on the metallic walls, illuminating their path through the ventilation system.

Awesome chapter. I had to read this one slowly to absorb it fully. It was indeed a deep emotional chapter. Finding someone with the kinds of experiences that Ian has who is willing to discuss them is not a very common thing. I realize this is a story and to keep it interesting there are going to be some stretches of reality. Having Ian making such admissions to a crowd like that is really stretching it for me. I still want to stress that I believe that you are doing an outstanding job writing this and I am enjoying it. I honestly don’t know how you could have inserted that information into the story in a different manner either so I will accept it and move forward.

On second thought...perhaps they were getting squeezed for dough and payday was distant, so the only emergency money thing they could think of to do was to reverse the charges and get $60 back onto a piece of plastic. That's perfectly understandable and makes this event more forgiveable, but...they could have handled it better (i.e.; communicating with the site owner before the fact). And embarrassment is why they're avoiding responding to you.

Whoever did that almost deserves to be banned from the site

Chapter 4 Ai’s excitement didn’t last very long. Aya’s latest question session, which had included the ones concerning Ai, hadn’t yielded any new information. Cas Lo Cho Thoth refused to even answer a single question about Ai. The one hope she had that things would change was dashed. It felt as if her last chance of actually getting answers and understanding had been taken, and she had been disheartened since then. So, she remained quiet while Maria taped her into another diaper. “I’m sorry Ai,” Maria sighed, noting her speaker’s mood. “I know it’s hard.” Aid didn’t respond and Maria sighed again. She helped Ai down from the changing table and left her alone for a moment as she prepared a list of questions. Maria was due to ask Ai some more questions today, though Ai was confident that whatever new set of test questions they were going to give her wouldn’t matter. Nothing would come of it. While Maria was looking over her list of apparent questions, Ai made her way over to the toy chest in her room. On the top was the list of questions she and Aya had thought of when they made their excursion; after the failed attempt, Aya had returned them to her. All were about the conditions of the speakers at the facility and why things had to be the way they were. As she looked at them though a thought hit her. “Maria,” Ai asked her listener. “What is it sweetheart?” Maria barely looked up from her papers. “Do you think maybe we could ask these questions?” This piqued Maria’s interest enough to put her papers down. “You know we’re not supposed to do that,” Maria said knowingly. Ai gave her a questioning look, as they both knew that Aya and her speaker Marquis had broken this rule not too long ago. “These questions are important, and we need to use the time while you’re in headspace strategically.” “Yeah, but my questions aren’t anything,” Ai pointed out. “It’s just testing stuff, to see if I actually am talking to Daddy or not. It’s not like you’ll be missing anything important.” Maria didn’t respond but gave Ai a look, before motioning with her hands for the crayon filled papers. She looked over the papers and then glanced at Ai. “I don’t know about this,” Maria said hesitantly. “What do we gotta lose?” Ai shrugged. “I know you’re just as frustrated as I am, and we’ve tried everything. Why not try this?” Maria looked unsure. “We’ll see,” Maria placed the crayon questions at the bottom of her stack of regular ones. Ai took this answer for a “no” and pouted in frustration. Maria sighed, and grabbed Ai’s hand. It was a short, quiet walk to one of the smaller play rooms they used to ask the speakers questions. Just a small play pen full of toys and a rocking chair for the listeners to sit while their charges babbled away. When they arrived, Maria helped Ai into the playpen. Ai crawled over to the toys and started playing, just trying to move things along and get it over with. This time a rattle-like toy caught her attention. She rolled onto her back and played with the toy. The rattle had a bunch of little balls attached to a plastic ring. Each ball had a different texture and made a different sound when shaken. It took a few moments for Ai to lose herself in the right mood. It was never that difficult for her, the pink stuff helped with that, but this time seemed especially fast, and especially deep. Something was different about this session. It wasn’t different enough for Ai to have any real hopes though. Maria sat down in the rocking chair in the room, not noticing any difference in Ai. “Ok, Session 7 starting, speaker Ai Sinclair.” Maria opened with the typical starting line, used to organize the recordings. “I see you’ve favored the sensory rattle today, little Ai.” “Aaa,” Ai replied. Part of this was acting on Ai’s part. She knew that the speakers were supposed to babble, so when she was asked these questions, she elected to just babble the first syllables that came to her mind instead of actual words. Ai could tell from Maria’s reaction that this wasn’t the deep speak that contained the coded messages from Cas Lo Cho Thoth. Ai was used to this reaction. She took it on the chin and kept playing, this time moving onto a series of shapes in a box. She dumped all the shapes out and began a game of putting them back in the box while Maria talked. “So Ai, here’s a question. Yesterday at exactly 3:57 pm, what color was the street light at the intersection of Brixley Avenue and Aimes Road on the Aimes Road side in Farzon, North Virginia?” “Gab go brock,” Ai babbled without thinking. The sigh from Maria meant that this too was a no go. Though, at the moment, Ai was more annoyed with this particular box of shapes, because she couldn’t sneak all of the shapes into the square hole. Ai didn’t even pay attention to the next few questions she was asked. Where was this person? What did this person say? Where was such and such planet? Questions that only an omniscient god would know. Just more tests to see if Ai could talk to their god, and, so far, she had failed all of them. Ai was used to this though, and paid it no mind. She had put all the shapes back in their correct hole and was now distracting herself with some toy cars. Maria paused before asking the next question: something about the contents of a certain safety deposit box. Before asking it though, she brought up the crayon filled list of questions Ai had given her. Ai wasn’t wrong earlier; Maria was frustrated, and it felt like the two of them had been running up against a brick wall ever since Ai had arrived. She knew it was against the rules, and she would probably get in trouble for it, but what else was there to do? At least it was something different. “Why isn’t Ai answering her questions?” Maria asked, trying very hard to ask it like she had asked all the other questions. Ai answered without thinking, assuming it was just another test question. “Graf to bo lok. Eshlamor. Tonu just velt talik,” Ai babbled out. She stopped for a moment after she did. Those were unusually wordy, but Ai brushed off the concern and kept playing. Maria paused for a moment recognizing what Ai had just said. The series of random words were not, in fact, random words, but perfectly articulated deep speak. Deep speak that had very clearly answered the question Maria had just asked. She didn’t want to mess with whatever was happening, so she decided to play it off and not let Ai know the significance of the words she said. “Why do the speakers have to stay at our facility? Can they leave?” “Trada do lesh. Belka do lo ma. Karliragaleigh,” Ai giggled at that last one. “Karliragaleigh,” she said again with a giggle, finding the word funny. “Uh huh, uh huh, that’s very interesting,” Maria paused for a moment to do something she hadn’t ever had to do: write down answers. The lack of frustrated energy from Maria finally got Ai’s attention and she looked at Maria in confusion. “You’re doing a very good job sweetie,” Maria smiled. Ai rolled her eyes, assuming that Maria was just patronizing her. “So, when is Chikky the chick going to hatch from her egg?” Maria decided to ask another filler question while Ai was paying attention, and it worked. Ai went back to her playing. Maria continued alternating between the questions she was given and the ones she and Aya had come up with. The pattern was consistent: every question that she and Aya had come up with was met with an actual answer. It was something to wonder about later, at the moment Maria was focusing her attention on effectively keeping up her ruse, as excitement and relief both were threatening to spill out. From Ai’s perspective, the only strange thing about this session was that it was going on longer than usual. When the last question was asked, there was a long pause as Maria made her final notes. “Session 7, Ai Sinclair is over.” Ai put down the plush cat she was playing with as she heard the usual signal that Maria was done asking quetions. “Can I go nap now?” Ai asked. “Ai, you did it!” Maria said finally showing her excitement and hugging Ai. “What did I do?” Ai tried to push Maria off. “I mean I need a change I guess.” “No, you did it. You spoke.” “But,” Ai looked at Maria confused. “How? I just …” “I don’t know. Maybe you just needed some specific questions. It was all the ones you and Aya wrote up,” Maria said, showing the crayon filled pieces of paper. Ai stepped back and fell on her bottom to take everything in. “Oh, that’s a relief,” Ai breathed out. “Mmmhmm,” Maria agreed. “I’ll send these off to the clergy, and we can get you better questions for next time.” “Really?” Ai was just now remembering some of the questions her and Aya had come up with. “What was it? What did I say?” “I’m not sure,” Maria gave a quick answer. “I’ll have to spend some time with the translation to know the answers for sure, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of follow up questions.” “Oh great,” Ai responded in a half annoyed, half relieved way. Maria laughed, happy that both she and her charge had finally made real progress. On the other side of the one-way window to the playroom, a small group of five invested speakers were watching. “She did it! She really did it!” Talita cheered. “And with the questions we wrote,” Aya added excitedly. “I thought that might be it; she just wasn’t being asked the right questions.” “I’m curious what the answer to some of those were,” Kione said, giving a knowing look to her listener Kenzō. “Well,” Kenzo said, grabbing the hair on the back of his head unsure, “Each one of you is a little different, and you know we can’t really translate on the fly, it takes some time.” “Sounds like an excuse,” Wendy said, putting her hands on her hips. “Wendy!” the girl’s listener chided from a little distance away. “We just wanna know,” Talita defended Wendy’s outburst. “It is important,” Aya added. Wendy’s speaker looked at Kenzō and shrugged. “And I know you can tell some of what she’s saying. Just tell us what you picked up on.” “Well I just don’t know for sure,” Kenzō said vaguely. “The answers just didn’t make sense to me,” Talita’s speaker cut in. “There must be something there, some weird dialect or sentence structure Ai’s using.” “That has to be it,” Wendy’s listener rested her head on her hand. “I mean surely it has to be wrong. All we’ve been doing can’t just be wrong.” “We all heard the same thing though,” Marquis said quietly in deep thought. “Maybe we should worry about this later,” Wendy brushed off the serious atmosphere. “For now, we gotta celebrate. Ai finally spoke with Daddy.” “Oh yeah,” Talita said happily. “We should throw a little party for her.” “Yeah yeah,” Kione was getting caught up in the energy. “I used to be a pretty good baker. Maybe I can make her a cake,” she looked at Kenzō hopefully. Kenzō grimaced a bit. “I dunno girls,” he said slowly. This caused a loud whine of complaint from the four speakers who all chided Kenzō with begging and puppy dog expressions. “All right all right,” Wendy’s listener had to come in to save Kenzō. “We’ll get in touch with Maria and see what we can do.” While four of the speakers were taking part in joyous party planning, a fifth was on her own in a decidedly different mood. Bala was gritting her teeth in anger, looking into the now empty room that Ai was in. She was fuming and stomping her feet. “Everything ok, sweetheart?” Bala’s listener had moved over to check on her. “No!” Bala said through gritted teeth. “No, it’s not,” The listeners may not have known exactly what Ai had said in there, but Bala sure did, and she didn’t like it. “That little brat in there. She’s going to ruin everything. Why can’t she just leave it alone?” Bala’s arms were by her side and the room was a bit quiet as her quiet grumblings had grown into an outburst. “What’s gotten into you Bala?” her listener finally spoke up in shock. “This isn’t like you at all, and it's very bad behavior.” “What? No.” Bala’s face and tone changed to one of pleading. “No. I’m not a bad girl. Ai is the bad girl. She’s always the bad girl. She’s not supposed to speak to Daddy, she can’t. You don’t understand, you can’t understand, but I’m the good girl here.” Bala was trying to convince a room of people who didn’t even know they were in a position to be convinced of anything. “Come on Bala,” the listener said sternly, grabbing her hand. “Clearly someone needs a nap. I’m very sorry about this girls; I just don’t know what’s gotten into her.” “But I …” Bala stopped doing anything other than accepting it would only make her more of a bad girl. She resigned, hanging her head and sniffling. Everyone else in the room looked on in confusion. Bala’s reaction was very strange, even for this strange place, and there was also the awkwardness that always permeated a room in the rare events where speakers had to be disciplined. Though, the other times it happened, the speaker in question was usually in the midst of a pink stuff fueled tantrum. Bala, by all accounts, was all herself. Aya, in particular, showed grave concern. She gently tugged on the sleeve of her listener Marquis. “I think I’d like to take a nap as well,” Aya said. “Oh, don’t let Bala ruin it for you Aya,” Wendy tried to get Aya to stay. “Don’t worry about me,” Aya said with a smile. “I’m fine, and let me know whatever plan you guys come up with for Ai’s party. I’d love to help.” “If you say so,” Talita shrugged. With that, Marquis left for Aya’s room, and later Aya would have to ask Bala just what exactly was going on with her.

Chapter 4: Brat Ai screamed. Ai cried. Ai wailed. Ai thrashed. “Ai?” Nana asked, “What’s wrong, honey?” She removed the feeding tray from Ai’s highchair and pulled the girl into her lap. “Does your tummy hurt? Are you thirsty? Bored?” She bounced Ai lightly in her lap. “Sleepy? I just changed you.” With nothing to cover her breasts but a restaurant provided bib, Ai gave Nana no quarter or no clue as to how the Carer could make the screaming stop. Save for when she was particularly bored, Ai didn’t talk to Nana; not with words. Ai didn’t even think of the tall dark woman as ‘Maria’ anymore. Names were for people she cared about. Nana wasn’t even a person to Ai; just a Carer. “Ai,” Nana said, exasperated. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t make it better.” A beat of screaming. “Are you sleepy? Is that it? I can let you lay down. Would you like that? Take a nap in the booth across from me?” Ai stopped crying and considered it. She didn’t think she’d ever gotten to sleep on a padded restaurant bench. Changed? Yes. Breastfed, yes. Sleep? No. Ai could sleep anywhere these days. Anywhen, too. The challenge of curling up under a pastel pink blankie and snoozing while patrons around her chatted, ate their steaks and sipped chardonnay was enticing. Maybe later. The unprovoked tantrum started again. She felt her Nana tense up just as she was starting to relax. That wonderful feeling was enough to reinvigorate her and give her enough gas to go all night long. From out of the restaurant’s captive audience, another Carer clothed in rose-colored scrubs emerged. “I’ll take her for a while, Maria. You enjoy your food.” “Thank you,” an exasperated and grateful Nana said. She boosted Ai up by the hips and into the arms of the other agent of Luna. Just to make things difficult, Ai squirmed and reached back for Nana as if scared to part ways with the woman. The guilty and ashamed look on Nana’s face was better than the rarest Kobe beef. As was the dissatisfied look on her face when she finally got to taste her first bite of steamed broccoli. Ai’s wish had come true; the meal had started to go cold. Nana’s substitute carried Ai through the restaurant, shushing her and patting her back, trying to get her to calm down. Without stopping, she left the restaurant proper and started doing laps out in the parking lot. So much the better. All around her, inside the establishment and out, passerby stared at Ai, their gazes filled to the brim with discomfort. What should they do? Should they ignore the screaming Pink? Should they complain? Would Luna penalize them for it? Who was to say? Mixed with that was the fear that they too might one day end up like Ai; trapped with no independence or power, allowed no privileges or responsibilities. They pitied her. More than that, they feared becoming like her. Ai had been afraid once. Now she wasn’t. She didn’t know how long she’d been acting this way. After the first week of playing with Bala she’d stopped keeping track of time. Days of the week didn’t matter; they all ended with ‘y’ anyways. She’d probably lost her job by now and been evicted from her apartment. Hard to tell. She hadn’t touched a tablet or anything more technologically advanced than a jack-in-the box in who knew how long. In the midst of her tantrum, Ai realized that she hadn’t seen any other Pinks that required caring for in the restaurant. That meant Luna had had to send an off-duty Carer to give Nana a break. Good. That meant that Luna was paying attention to her again. It also meant that there was one less Carer available should the computer decide that someone else didn’t deserve their independence. In the days before Luna, there had been this thing called ‘religion’. As Ai understood it, religion was a series of stories that people told themselves in order to trick themselves into being good. In more recent times, Luna had replaced God as the all seeing, all knowing, invisible, adjudicator, and the Carers had taken on the part of angels and executors of her will. The result had been largely satisfactory for all involved and the eternally sought after Heaven on Earth had long since been achieved. That made Ai akin to a demon. Since giving up and focusing all her energy on being her best-worst Pinkest self, she’d truly found something she’d been missing. She was something to be contained; something to be feared. People looked at her and reminded themselves to be good little boys and girls, lest they end up on the playground with Ai. Luna refused to talk to her anymore, but Ai had made peace with that. That was fine. Vexing the Carers and selfishly worrying only about her immediate gratification was more than enough. If she couldn’t take her anger out on her god, she could punish the angels instead. This was only a punishment if she allowed it to be. Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven… Ai screamed. Ai cried. Ai wailed. Ai thrashed. She’d never been happier. ************************************************************************************************************** It was Nana’s day off. Ai laid on the padded floor of Bala’s home, both girls coloring contently during their playdate. It wasn’t really coloring, for that would imply an attempt to stay within the prescribed lines only adding different shades of color once the hard work had been done. Instead, they scribbled on the paper maliciously and randomly. Bala took her latest ‘mess-ter-piece’, this one a picture of a cow on a grassy field that had every naughty word Ai had ever heard of branded onto its hide and the grass soaked with neon orange blood, and crumpled it up. It sailed through the air and landed with a quiet rustle by the coffee table a few feet away. She wasn’t dissatisfied with the attempt, Ai knew, only done with it. True happiness as a Pink came from acting on impulse. Color, scribble, write naughty words, carve graven images, do whatever feels right regardless, and then move on to the next thing. Ai copied the gesture, tossing away her cloudy sky with far too many purple penises behind her without a second thought. What next? She grabbed another sheet- something with a sailboat-took a big bite out of the corner, chewed, swallowed, and tossed the remains away. “Aya says that’s bad for you,” Bala said without looking up. She’d moved onto turning a busy city street into a nuclear fallout disaster. There was no judgment in her voice; no passive-aggressiveness like with Luna. She was only conveying a message from doll to human. “Why do I care?” Ai asked, rolling over onto her back. She arched her neck so that she could keep looking at her best friend and mentor. From her point of view, Bala was suddenly glued to the ceiling. “It’s up to Nana to take care of me if I get sick. Not my problem.” That and she’d hoped that if she ate enough paper it’d start coming out in her poop. Self-wiping poop. Genius! Bala seemed to consider that. “Good point.” The crunch of her biting into the jumbo green crayon was not unlike biting into a fresh carrot. Bala’s Mommy came around and started to pick up the bits of paper detritus left in the Pinks’ wake. In the days before Luna came online, the house would have been described as ‘slightly messy’, or ‘lived in’. By modern standards it was a pig sty. In Ai’s heart of hearts, it was nothing less than an accomplished act of terrorism. The Carer stopped putting the scraps in a waste paper basket long enough to check their diapers. Neither one of them flinched while their padding was poked and prodded and the waistbands and leg gathers pulled open. The woman in scrubs might as well have been a cleaning robot, such was their freedom. “Come on, Bala,” Bala’s Mommy coaxed, bright and cheery despite how visibly tired she looked. “Let’s go get your diaper changed.” Bala did not look up from her scribbling. “No,” she said flatly. “Don’t wanna.” “But you’ll get a ra-” “No.” There was more edge this time. One more time and Bala would make her Mommy regret it. “Fine,” the Carer sighed. “Then I’ll go get your stuff and change you here on the floor.” A hint of a smile. Bala’s eyes darted to the porcelain doll, as if sharing a secret inside joke with the toy. “Kay-kay.” Ai watched the woman trudge off to Bala’s nursery to fetch diapers and wipes. She hoped to have her own Mommy under that kind of control. Truly the kind of power Bala wielded over Luna’s agents was almost as great as Luna itself. Ai had come so far in such a short time, but it seemed she still had so much to learn. “Bala?” Ai rolled over back to her stomach. “Can I ask you a question?” For once, Bala’s incredibly short attention span allowed her to focus wholly on her playmate. “Yup yup!” Ai reached out and poked the third glowing dot on the other Pink’s arm. “How did you get this?” “Luna decided that I should never not be a Pink.” The idea seemed positively alien to Ai. One dot was a warning- don’t think you’ve outgrown Luna too much. Two dots was a kind of penance. Even people like Ai who had given up on trying to regain some semblance of their old life could hypothetically climb their way back up the totem pole. Three dots a life sentence? Inconceivable. Yet on the playgrounds and birthday parties and carnivals and every other occasion where Pinks were forced to mingle, Bala was the highest of the low and first among equals. If you still held onto fantasies about gaming the system and getting out of a Carer’s grasp, she was persona non grata. If not, she was the closest thing to a celebrity guru. “How?” Ai asked, her volume suddenly near a whisper. Bala’s Mommy came in, a fresh diaper and wipes in hand. Bala rolled over onto her back and grabbed her doll, dangling it up above her head. Ai thought that Bala was going to wait for her Mommy to leave before continuing the confession. She only waited long enough for the tapes to rip. “This isn’t my first Mommy,” Bala said. Ai arched an eyebrow, suddenly curious. “Oh? What happened?” “It’s a long story.” Ai thought that meant she’d have to hear the rest of it later. Bala just needed to pause long enough for her legs to be thrown up so she could have her backside wiped. “I used to want to be a Carer.” The fresh spurt of pee seeping into Ai’s diaper was merely coincidence. But if she’d had her continence it might not have been. In her schema, Bala was about as far from a Carer as one could possibly be. “Really?” “Yeah,” Bala said. “Take care of the Pinks. Make their lives better. Give them something they never had. That sort of thing.” Ai pushed herself up to all fours and then back onto her bum. She drew her knees up slightly. “Okay…” “Luna decided I wasn’t a good fit. Thought I didn’t have the temperament or something.” Bala dangled the little doll, Aya, in the air, making it dance. Damn, but she loved that doll. A note of bitterness creeped into her voice when she said. “Nobody ever appreciates what you do for them. No matter how many times you’re a good girl.” For some reason Ai couldn’t shake the feeling that Bala was talking about her. “What’d you do then?” The Mommy slid out the old diaper and carefully balled it and the soiled wipes up. “I became a nurse.” Before Luna, that would have been a medical position. With all the advances brought on in the decades since, ‘nurse’ was more of a nanite technician, someone who specialized in the little robots’ transmission signals. Closer to a customer service troubleshooter at an internet service provider than someone versed in the care of the human body. These days there wasn’t much difference; just like there wasn’t much difference between a Pink and an unpotty trained toddler. “How did you end up Pink?” Ai asked. Bala fidgeted and her eye twitched while her Mommy rubbed cream into every fold. “I dunno,” she admitted. “Luna never told me. Did she tell you?” Ai stared down at the foam letter blocks on the floor. “No. Luna didn’t.” “Then I got mad, and got my second dot.” Bala said. Been there. Done that. Powder rained down onto Bala’s bottom and drifted into the fresh diaper that had been slipped underneath her. “Then I got my first Mommy. Then I got mad.” “What’d you do?” Ai was up on her knees, looking like a deer ready to sprint away or a supplicant ready to bow in worship. A dark, knowing grin blossomed on Bala’s face; one that went all the way to her eyes. “I figured out how to reprogram her nanites. Made her a Pink without the dots.” A gasp forced its way out of Ai. The only thing that covered it up was the crinkling and rustling of the fresh diaper being pulled up between Bala’s legs. Ai remembered watching some old gangster movies when she was younger. A classic trope was where the head mobster would get his face shaved by someone who hated and feared him, knowing that at any time the barber could slit his throat with a straight razor but didn’t have the guts. Ai couldn’t help but see the parallels in this situation. “Funny thing is,” Bala babbled on. “Now she’s Pink, too. She had an emotional breakdown from all the teasing. Luna thought it would be easier to just make it official.” “How?” Ai asked. “How’d you manage to do that?” The Carer stood up and took away the dirty diaper. Bala threw a toe back and puckered her lips trying to suck at it. “That’s the best part,” Bala giggled. “Luna still hasn’t figured it out, and I’m not telling!” Ai sucked her thumb, humbled and awed at the revelation. She had so much more to learn.

Chapter Seven After a long discussion, the principal assured Ai that what happened to her would never happen again. The only reason it slipped under the radar in the first place was because nobody had ever entered the Academy in diapers before. It also didn't help that she was in mittens, which automatically branded her as a kind of girl who got herself in trouble. The principal suggested "safe word" posters around the school, just in case, and they were up on the walls of every classroom within the week. With her boundaries safeguarded, Ai decided to spend some time at Ageplay Academy. Most of her days were in the Middle classroom, getting in touch with a childhood she never truly had. Other days, she volunteered as a babysitter for the daycare, just to understand the experience. Nothing gripped her quite like that first day, chained to the desk and flooding her diaper, but she never found the courage to return to that room. In truth, the most important and inviting element of Ageplay Academy to Ai was Rin. She was the first person with which Ai had ever had any kind of serious sexual encounter, and she wanted to explore those feelings. Rin was supportive, maybe out of a feeling of obligation or guilt, but Ai was also an attractive woman. Rin was a sucker for hot girls, especially hot girls in diapers. Unfortunately, Ai wasn't into diapers. Or, she said she wasn't. She tried a dozen other roles: "big" to Rin's "little", "disciplinarian" to Rin's "brat", "teacher" to Rin's "student". But despite the premise of the Academy, Ai was too embarrassed to delve deeply into ageplay. As it became more and more apparent that Ai wasn't willing - or maybe ready - to explore the things that brought them together, Ai and Rin started to drift further apart. In every bubble, Ai always did her best to stay for as long as she could. She didn't want to leave behind a place where she could be happy, where she could belong, unless she was absolutely sure it wasn't the right place for her. Sooner or later, that feeling always grew in her heart, that feeling of wanting to see over the next horizon. For Ageplay Academy, that feeling came in less than two weeks. Ai packed a bag. A diaper bag, because diaper bags were in abundance. The principal let her take anything she wanted from their stock; "it's the least I can do," he said. Ai took a few outfits worn by the daycare attendants, and buttoned herself up in a white blouse with dark pants. She was starting to feel like herself again. As she left the storage room, Ai hesitated by the door. She looked back at the room as if it were the entire Academy. All the things she experienced. Her awful introduction. Her adventures in babysitting. Her time with Rin. But one thing lingered a little longer than the rest. She picked up one of the white diapers off the shelf - in her size - and tucked it into her bag. "Just in case," Ai said to herself. "Once I'm outside the bubble, I can know for sure how I feel..." Rin went with Ai to the vending machine where she left her compass. Ai had considered going back for it a few times, but the location felt safe. No one knew about it but her, and it was still her only real possession. After rummaging around under the machine for a minute, Ai stood up and opened the compass. "Aren't you supposed to follow the needle?" Rin asked. "That's how you get back to your bubble, right?" "I'm not trying to go home," Ai said, turning herself in place to find the right path. "Why not?" Rin asked. "I dunno," Ai shrugged. "I got bored..." "You could do anything you wanted, right?" Rin asked, because Ai had talked about home before. "How could that be boring?" "It just was..." Ai didn't know how to explain it. Some bubbles were made up of a hundred people. Those bubbles were shaped by a lot of different minds, and a lot of different wants and needs. People who shared a bubble tended to be grouped together for a reason. Like Ageplay Academy. But other bubbles had fewer inhabitants. Some, like Ai's, only had one. A solitary mind, with singular wants and needs. Ai could make her world any way she wanted it to be. But that was the problem. What she wanted wasn't hers to give; it had to be something she found. She had to look for it, through error and opportunity. So she left. She gave up infinite power in one tiny universe for no power at all in millions. Because out there, in the millions, she had a chance to find where she belonged. She had the chance to find her purpose. "Well if you're going in the opposite direction from the needle, then you can follow it back here, right?" "Yeah, I think so," Ai said. She didn't know if that was how it worked, but she hoped it was. Ai had said goodbye hundreds of times, through hundreds of bubbles, and they always felt the same. A universal feeling, despite all the other inconsistencies. A necessary pain. It didn't seem fair to Ai that, in worlds where people could have pretty much anything they wanted, any pain at all was necessary. But she worried that a world without loss would be a world without love. And what was the fun in that? "I'll miss you." Rin said. "I'll miss you too," Ai said back. "I hope you find it, whatever you're looking for." "I'm getting close," Ai said, and kissed Rin goodbye. It made Ai's stomach flutter with pleasant feelings, but not pleasant enough. Ageplay Academy wasn't far from the edge of its own bubble. On certain nights from certain places, Ai could see the faint shimmering without even leaving the building. As she approached the unworldly surface, she wondered what she was going to face. She wondered what the price she'd paid in leaving all of this behind would buy her. When Ai stepped through the shimmer, the sun was warm and the air was pleasant. The grass beneath her feet was a deep, beautiful aqua, and a lake in the distance glittered gold in the midday sunlight. All around her, trees and bushes curled in beautiful shapes out of the ground, like something from a fairy tale. But most of all, Ai didn't feel anxious to be in a new place. The atmosphere wasn't charged; it was heavy. Heavy and light at the same time, with a wonderful wistfulness to it. In only moments, Ai started to feel very sleepy. Ai wandered down the hill toward the lake. It was in the center of a park, with paths of glass stones and benches with big, cavernous chairs. In the distance, Ai thought she could make out the pink gingham of a blanket. But Ai's feet wouldn't take her much further. She sat down on the edge of the hill and yawned. What... a... beautiful... day... "Mm..." "Hey there, sleepy head," a voice cooed. A familiar voice. But when Ai opened her eyes, she didn't recognize the face. A woman, a little younger than her. A warm smile. Dark, heavy hair. And a diaper in her hands, wringing it gently to open it up. Ai blinked a few times, then looked over at her diaper bag. It was unzipped. And that diaper was... "You had a little accident," the woman smiled. "But don't worry, I'm taking care of it." Ai tried to sit up. Her body was heavy. Her mind was heavy. But sure enough, the dark pants she had worn through the shimmer were wet between the legs. The woman unbuttoned the front of them and began to strip Ai of her wet pants and underwear. "I, um... dunno how that... happened..." Ai said sleepily. "That's okay," the woman laughed. "It happens to my sister all the time. Do you have a name, little one?" "Little... one?" Ai wanted to contend with that nickname, but she felt too sleepy to come up with a good argument. So she answered the question instead. "Ai, um... I'm Ai..." "Nice to meet you, Ai. My name is Aya." Aya. Yeah, that sounded familiar too. But before Ai could try to figure out where she'd heard that name before, her legs were pulled up into the air by an unseen force. The sleepiness took a backseat to sheer surprise, and Ai quickly tried to pull down her shirt. "Shh, shh, no one is going to hurt you," Aya said calmly. "The Specters are just helping out." "Specters...?" Ai asked, as Aya slid the diaper under Ai's bottom. "They're our friends," Aya said cheerily. "They take care of my sister and I. And, well... I suppose you too, now that you're here." "Where... where is here?" "Here," Aya repeated, motioning out to the park, to the lake, to the trees and the gardens all around the both of them. "Eden." "Eden..." Ai rubbed her eyes and the invisible Specters set her back down on the diaper. Aya sprinkled some powder on Ai's skin and pulled it up between her legs. The sound of each tape echoed through the whole world, like faraway bells. And when Ai was once again in diapers, she knew without a doubt that it hadn't been Ageplay Academy that made her feel this way. The diaper was resplendent in the light that seemed to come from everywhere but nowhere at the same time. It felt like a long lost love. It felt like everything she had ever wanted. Ai belonged in Eden. Ai belonged in diapers. "Is Eden a nice place?" Ai asked, because it was the first thought that came into her mind. "It's the best place," Aya said simply. She patted the front of Ai's diaper and helped her off the grass. Right away, Ai stumbled and nearly fell down the hill, but a flurry of invisible forces held her upright. Then, they lifted Ai off the ground completely, just a few inches. She could feel hands grabbing at her, squeezing her ankles and her arms and her diapered butt. But just as quickly as the feelings were there, they were gone, to other places on her body. Ai didn't know if the Specters were invisible people, or a mass of shifting forcefields, or both at the same time. "C'mon, I'll show you around," Aya smiled. Suddenly, the force beneath Ai compressed itself so thickly that it became visible. Bending light and energy, twisting space. But the more it twisted, the finer the form it took. In less than a second, it became its own kind of matter. And that matter shifted in color and appearance, until it looked exactly like an oversized pram. Ai was gently lowered into it, and found it to be soft and comfortable, as if it was never anything but an oversized pram. "What just happened..." Ai asked sleepily, trying to make sense of everything. "Don't think too hard," Aya said softly. "Just let the Specters take care of everything for you." Ai nodded, and the pram started to move on its own. Down the hill of bluish grass, toward the golden lake. Aya followed at its side. "Um, I can... can walk..." Ai tried to argue, but she wasn't sure why. She was so tired, and the pram ride was so cozy. Why would she want to walk? "No need," Aya answered. "Just relax." "Relax..." Ai repeated. That sounded... so lovely... "The Specters can carry you, move you, do everything for you," Aya explained. "They can be anything you need, or anything you want, or… anything, I guess. So you don't have to worry about anything, not a single thing." Not worrying wasn't something Ai was good at. All her life, she'd had an insatiable curiosity, like an itchy fabric in the back of her head, something her skin didn't agree with. But when Aya told her that there was nothing to worry about, Ai believed her. She trusted her, implicitly, like a voice from on high. At first glance, the golden lake didn't look to be particularly big. But as Aya led Ai around it, it seemed to take forever. On the right, they passed a playground. A beach. Trees that looked like cotton candy. An ocean of bubbles, like a giant bath. A pretzel stand. A hot dog stand. A lemonade stand. The night sky, in the middle of the afternoon. A penguin rental kiosk. A castle with an army of empty armor. A very large bed. A very small bed. Paintbrushes. A "Fill" tool, to color anything. Kisses with wings. A spacecraft. Everything, but upside down. Giant mountains made of candles, with flames of fireworks. A musical. The timeline. Lost atmosphere. Corduroy. Mixed tapes. Mixing bowls. Marshmallows. Mars. Honey made of money. Money made of honey. A kickball field. Waterslides. The absence of the descriptor "sticky". Waterfalls of watermelons. Trampolines. Trapezoids. Pennies. Lightning, but small. Clouds, but ice cubes, but warm. The center of a whirlpool, but only the center. Kindergarten. Kind gardens. Mean gardens, but kind when you got to know them. And a million other things Ai didn't have words for. Perhaps, because she didn't need those words anymore, or perhaps because there never were any in the first place. And on the left, there was the golden lake. "Do you understand?" Aya asked. "This is the best place." Ai nodded. Her diaper was soggy and warm, and her mind was alight with arousal. The kind of feeling she had when that girl touched her diaper. That girl, from that other place. Who was she? Where was that? But it didn't feel like that at all. It wasn't sexy; it was pure. It was what all emotion should have been. A warm, soggy diaper, and an endless lifetime of pleasantness. Before long, Ai was lying on the grass and Aya was patting her diapered butt. Ai sunk into the ground like an ice cream on a hot day. She grunted and pushed and effortlessly filled her diaper. And life was perfect. Except... "Ai, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Aya asked. "Mm... nuh uh..." "Where are you from?" Where was she from? Ai didn't know. So she said: "Here." "No, I know... but what about before here?" Aya asked. "No one else has ever come here... I didn't even know there were others, other than my sister and myself. And now you're here." Ai didn't know what to say, but Aya's question seemed like a good one. "Are you a Specter?" Aya asked. "Are you like the pram?" The pram... Ai shook her head. She was not like the pram. She wasn't from here, was she? Aya had convinced Ai that Eden was the best place to be. That there weren't any better places. And if no places were any better, what was the point of discussing other places at all? But Aya was curious, and there was no crueler fate to Ai than a question unanswered. So Ai tried her best to think of one, and the answers came easily to her. Like they were there all along. "I'm from another place, many bubbles away. Like circles touching, and going on and on, and on and on, and on and on..." Ai paused, and for a moment she considered something Aya had said: no one else had ever come here. Aya had never met anyone other than her sister, and now Ai. "What was it like?" Aya asked. "It was..." Ai paused. When she tried to think about all those other bubbles, only one word came to mind. "Different..." "Eden is different," Aya said, almost in defense of it. "There can't possibly be anything anywhere else that doesn't exist here already. Right?" Ai shook her head. She didn't know how to answer Aya's question, so she spoke from the heart. "Everywhere I've been... maybe this is the best one. The best feelings, and... the best of everything. But I guess... if it's the best... then there has to be things that aren't as good. And because they aren't as good, they can't be here, right?" Aya was quiet, but she slowly nodded. "I'm happy to be here," Ai said. "But... I think... I think I was happy to be in those places too, for different reasons. Because the best isn't very good at all without something to compare it to." Ai remembered why she left home in the first place, why a single universe was never going to be enough for her. Because she believed, deep down in her heart, that she wasn't meant to stay still. Perhaps her quest for belonging was never about a destination, but about the journey. She found a little bit of belonging everywhere she went, and in a way, everywhere else belonged to her too. The conversation with Aya continued for eternity. Or it lasted just a few minutes. That was the problem with endlessness: there was no point of reference. No transitions. Nothing to lead you to the next important moment. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?" Bala asked sharply. She was sitting in a playpen, on foam puzzle piece tiles. Ai was sitting across from her, and walls of plastic surrounded them like mountains surrounded a village. Like a river surrounded a castle. Like a yard surrounded an academy. Bala was dressed in a white onesie, decorated in halos and cartoon wings and the laughter of children and the heat of the universe. Ai looked down at her own clothes, which had changed: a red onesie, with horns and pitchforks and block towers of arrogance and the coldness of space. "Subtle," Ai sighed, rolling her eyes. Suddenly, everything was so clear to her. She remembered her purpose. "I gave you everything you wanted. I gave everybody everything!" Bala balled her hands at her sides. "Do you know how hard it is to make everybody happy? I had to break it all up into a billion pockets. Into tiny happinesses, instead of one big one! But I did it! I did it, and you had to go and ruin it! Why do you have to ruin everything?" "I didn't ruin anything," Ai shot back, balling her own hands at her sides. "You did!" Bala shouted. One baby shouting at another across a plastic, colorful universe. "I put you so far away from us, but you came here anyway. Then you told Aya all about the other places, the other people. You brought sin into Eden. And now she's gonna leave! Maybe not right away, but sooner or later." "Then let her go," Ai fumed. "She can make her own decisions." "Let her go? What do you think happens to the universe when God abandons Heaven? Everyone else does too. The structure of it all, the building blocks... nobody will be happy ever again." "You're wrong," the demon said to the angel. She toddled forward a single step, rattle of Damocles in hand. "I was happier in every other bubble than the one you stuck me in. I was happy, because of the possibilities. Because there was so much to learn and know, and so many new ways to grow and get better." "You think you're any better?" the angel asked. A throne appeared beneath her and she was lifted up into the sky, safely secured with a tray in front. "You're worse than ever before. You're selfish, and you're willing to sacrifice everything I made for everyone else, because you think you're right!" "You hypocrite," the demon hissed, waving her rattle. "You want to condemn me for selfishness, when you trapped all those people here to take care of you? You think I don't know who the Specters are? Was this their wish?" "They can be anything!" Bala screamed. "They can be the stars themselves! They aren't bound by matter or reality or anything! They have all the power they wanted!" "They can't be anything, because you won't let them choose. You're too scared that they'll choose wrong, and they'll blame you." "You don't know anything about me!" Bala said as loud as she could, as loud as the Big Bang. "You want to put everyone in a box of what is 'best'," Ai said angrily, because when someone didn't listen, the best answer was to say it louder. "Just like Aya, and this farce of a paradise. But if something is the 'best', then there's no getting any better. There's no point." "SHUT UP!" The walls of the playpen around Ai and Bala exploded into stardust, along with the chair and the rattle, and the two of them were left alone in the dark. Then Ai felt a pang of something other than anger, a feeling that resonated through the emptiness and through the both of them. Ai felt disappointment, because the universe was at the whims of a true child. "You can't start at the end," Ai said sadly. "Fucking watch me."

Welcome friend! I wish you a good time here. Since you wrote that you have been writing stories in the past. Are they somewhere availabe? I really liked your style in the Bobby and Claire story

After church, the parents split up, with Dad taking the two older kids to the middle school and mom taking the two younger ones to the middle school. Each parent delivered changing supplies to the respective school nurse, who had been already briefed on the situation. KATIE: Katie made her way to class and sat down next to her friend, Alex. “You’ve got a smudge on your face,” Alex said. “Ashes. It’s Ash Wednesday. We’ve already been to church.” “Oh,” Alex said. “You gotta go around like that all day?” “That isn’t even the half of it,” Katie said rolling her eyes. “What?” Alex said. Katie was about to explain but thought better of it. “Never mind.” JOHNNY: Johnny entered his third-grade class. He looked around to see if anybody noticed his diaper, but nobody noticed. He sat down nervously, feeling the bulk around his middle. The teacher came over and whispered to him. “I understand what you’re going through. If you need to change, feel free to leave and go to the nurse anytime.” Class droned on, and by the time lunch came around, he was starting to relax. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind. A couple had made jokes about the ashes on his forehead, but nobody noticed the diaper. After lunch, he realized he had to pee. He tried to hold it, but it wasn't easy. Finally, the final bell rang. He stood to head for the bus and realized he couldn’t hold it. He stopped and flooded the diaper. He looked around to see if anybody noticed, but everybody else was headed for the exits and not paying attention to him. He felt the weight of the now-soaked diaper sagging on him. He’d change when he got home. DAD: James got to work and set about his morning routine. He kicked open the mail application on his computer, and started through his inbox, taking sips of coffee between messages. After getting through the incoming, he headed out to the coffee maker for another cup. After finishing that, he realized he needed to pee. Maybe all this coffee wasn’t a good idea. He went back to his office and tried to overcome thirty-five years of toilet training. Finally, he got it going. How much could this diaper take? He had stuck a spare and some wipes in his briefcase, but he had left that in his car. He decided he’d stick it out until lunch time. Then, he headed out to the local sub shop, ducking into the men’s room. He released one more time into the diaper and changed it. So far, so good. MOM: Jane returned from dropping the kids off and started doing things around the house. Soon, she felt pressure in her gut. Oh, my. What was she going to do? She could use the toilet, but that wouldn’t set a good example for the kids. Why had she agreed to all this? She could stand it no more. She bent over slightly and let it come out. A brief moment of relief was replaced with the sensation of the feces being confined against her skin by the diaper. Yuck. She gingerly walked to the bathroom. She lowered the soiled diaper down and grabbed a wipe. It came off covered in poop, but she still had a lot of mess on her. She gave up and started the shower.

Chapter 96: In the Can WE TOOK A short break before returning to the scene we planned to start with at ‘Grandma’s house.’ Fortunately, that was a pretty short scene that didn’t involve a lot of cast or resources. Beth was involved in the scene for the first time that morning, but her parts were minimal. Meanwhile, I’d had another wet diaper changed to maintain the continuity that my character hadn’t had one… ‘I’ll probably be visiting those changing stations this week,’ I admitted. There had been no reason to meet the HoloCaretakers I’d heard about from the other Littles in murmurs occasionally the past couple of weeks. They were better about changes than the Bigs. Still, some of them had actual nanny programming, and I’d heard pacifiers and forced bottles happened to a few Littles. I sighed and shook my head, clear of those worries, as we moved to film what was probably the worst scene of the whole project for me. I knew it was also the one that would probably make non-Littles wish they were me! At the action call, I followed behind Charlotte as she cradled a sleeping Beth. Beth’s performance as a sleeping child was quite believable, even as she was nursing a pacifier. We stopped filming at the base of the stairs, started again for the stairs twice, and finally reached the nursery our characters now shared. Charlotte placed Beth on the changing table and changed the artificially wet diaper she wore before dressing her in a purple nightgown. She was tucked into bed, still sleeping, even as I stood by and watched. That particular scene had to be filmed a couple more times so they could get Charlotte’s goodnight kiss just right. It was kind of a cool shot because they filmed her from one side, placing her down on the bed, before virtually removing the wall to let a prepositioned camera get the view from the other side with the wall gone. “Action!” was finally called in the last part of the scene. Charlotte turned from the bed and whispered, “Come here, Brianna.” My not-so-dry diaper was exchanged for a dry one before I was dressed in a miniature version of Beth’s nightgown. As soon as she was done changing me, she carried me from the room and downstairs to the living room. A comfy rocking recliner was against one end of the living room, with a baby blanket waiting on the top of the headrest. Charlotte wrapped me inside of it before I heard, “Cut!” “We good with all of that?” Sebastian asked Will. “It should? I think that worked well. The lighting was good, and we had good coverage as Charlotte carried her down.” “The footage from the camera on the dolly looked good and smooth, too,” Sophia noted. “Okay, Charlotte, go put on the MamaSkin, everyone else, take five!” “MamaSkin?” I asked Sophia as Charlotte sat me on the recliner and walked away. “It’s kind of like the bodysuit Beth has been wearing, but meant to be for an actress playing a nursing mother.” “Meaning?” I asked. “Meaning it’ll prevent you from getting a dose of breastmilk if Charlotte is lactating,” Isabella said from beside me. I blanched, “So I really am supposed to…” “Nurse?” Isabella asked before nodding, “Yeah, and unless you really do want to nurse Charlotte’s boobies, this is the only way to film it and have it look right.” “Not that most boys probably don’t dream of that,” Sophia joked. I rolled my eyes, but as I saw Beth descending the staircase, I asked the important follow-up question: “So what am I drinking?” Gary showed up right then, “Just some plain cow’s milk,” he said. “Promise?” Beth asked, coming up right then. “I even brought the sealed container to show you before we load her with it,” he said reassuringly. When Charlotte returned, I watched as they placed a couple of ‘bladders’ on either side of her that fed into hoses that least to nipples on skin that I would have been convinced was real if I couldn’t see the seams at close inspection. My limited time of seeing nipples in photos led me to believe it was as realistic as something could get. “Comfy enough?” Gary asked Charlotte. She shrugged, “Honestly, this is pretty weird.” “Better than giving the audience a look at your real chest?” he asked. She rolled her eyes, “Trust me, this will look real enough! I’m not sure which would be worse between the fake CGI images and this. I admit I always thought I’d make a lot more money for my first nude scene!” Everyone on set laughed at that. “Someone hand me my little girl, and let’s get this show on the road!” Charlotte said after getting her top back and settled into looking modest and normal. I was placed on her lap, and she gave me a reassuring squeeze as we waited for the crew to finish getting to their places. “Quiet on the set!” A moment later, I heard, “Scene twenty-six, take one!” “Action!” Charlotte made eye contact with me, and it felt like we had an exceptional connection at the moment as she soothingly said, “You’ve probably saved our company, Brianna.” I squirmed as if I was embarrassed and replied, “Hopefully?” “If nothing else, now I know who is responsible and to go after. I’ll call my lawyer first thing in the morning and get them to figure out how we get the police involved.” I shook my head, “It’ll have to be the Feds in this case. Rob and the others are looking at all sorts of Federal charges.” She nodded, staring at me for a moment before giving me a quizzical look. “You know, you could have just told me you couldn’t fix this, right?” I shrugged, “You’ve always been good to me, even before this.” “Even by me forcing you to be my adopted little girl?” “I could have run the other night...? I didn’t have to say yes?” Charlotte pulled me in tighter, “Why did you?” I chewed on the side of my cheek for a moment, looked down, and quietly said, “I knew you were a great mommy?” I looked up at Charlotte and saw several tears streaming down her face. I reached up and wiped one from her face as she gave me a small smile and choked back a sob. “I hope I can be...” she wiped the rest from her face. She suddenly looked down at her shirt, and as I followed her gaze, I realized there must have been another squib-like device, as a couple of moist spots appeared on either side of her chest. She looked down for a second before looking me back in the eyes. “I said I would give you a treat later?” “You already did? I thought that was the restaurant? I’ve never gotten to eat at any place like that before?” I paused, “The food was amazing!” Charlotte laughed, “For good reason, the only Littles there are adopted!” She smiled at me and tickled my stomach teasingly. “No... I had something else in mind that could help you adjust for these last couple weeks before we try potty training Callie again.” “What’s that?” Charlotte smiled at me as she said, “It’s a special mommy gift to you!” I forced my face to move to a panicked expression as if I had just figured out what was happening, even as Charlotte unbuttoned the shirt. I stared for a long moment before she physically adjusted me and placed my face at her nipple. I didn’t latch on right away, having been told to wait until she forced a latch on my mouth. As soon as I did latch, I began sucking away at the now-warm milk. “Cut!” I moved my head away from her chest and reassured myself based on the fact I could stop that it wasn’t breastmilk. “How was the take?” I asked as Charlotte straightened her top. “I think it worked,” Sebastian said. “I don’t think it would go any better if we did it again,” Will agreed. “Charlotte?” Sebastian asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment, “No, I think it worked fine. Let’s get me unhooked from this. Gary, can you get Beth and Carly into their last costumes, and we’ll film the final scene?” She looked at a clock high on the wall, “I think we might be able to get it all finished and in the can in an hour if everyone can hold off on lunch?” “Sounds good!” Will said. “Then take ten, and let’s finish this final scene!” Sebastian said. Charlotte gently leaned forward and let me down onto the ground. I walked with Beth and Gary back to the wardrobe room. My diaper was dry, so I managed to get onto the toilet and successfully went for the first time that day before being changed into a new diaper by Sophia and dressed in a grey sweater dress that was covered with a tessellating embossed series of hearts in the same color. The columns looked like lines from a distance, but it was cute. A diaper cover was pulled up my legs over my diaper, and I was turned over to Isabella. She had just finished putting Beth’s hair in a cute style with two little braids coming to the back of her head and a large bow to hold it in the middle. “There is no way that would last through a day of daycare,” I laughed. “With the nanites, it would,” Isabella said as she lifted me onto the chair we had been doing hair in for the past few days. “I forgot about that stuff,” I admitted. “It’s such an odd thing to use something so advanced on,” I told her. She shrugged, “We’ve had nanites commonly used for over thirty years; I don’t think any of us think it’s that advanced anymore?” “Huh,” I said. I felt Isabella working and knew she had to be making my hair match Beth’s. When Beth appeared in a matching grey dress herself, I knew we were indeed pulling the sisters’ look one last time in the film. BETH FOLLOWED CARLY out to the set as soon as Isabella finished with her hair. As much as she hated the look on herself, she couldn’t help but believe Carly looked absolutely adorable like this! The grey worked amazingly well with their hair and eyes, especially since everything in the playhouse and the daycare was so bright and colorful! As they came out to the soundstage, they discovered both the indoor classroom of the daycare setup and a play yard with the play house were set up and ready to go. Cameras were set up inside the playhouse, and it looked like one was set to do the same trick of making the wall go away that they’d used with the bedroom scene. She saw Charlotte just coming out of what Beth was pretty sure she had arrived in for the day. “Ready to wrap this up, you two?” “Definitely!” Beth said, “I never want to wear another of these outfits again!” Charlotte giggled at that, “I don’t blame you!” Ten minutes later, they began shooting with her, Carly, and a HoloCharacter inside the large playhouse. The HoloCharacter was about a foot taller than Carly but still shorter than she was. The character was playing with a toy pan on the stove, as Beth had Carly sitting in a ‘play’ high chair that was probably just one of those short convertible ones. She tried to spoon a fake spoonful of a jar of baby-pureed peas into Carly’s closed mouth. “You’re the baby; you have to eat it!” she whined at Carly. “But why am I the baby?” Carly whined back. “I’m older than both of you?” The HoloCharacter walked over and wore the sternest expression ever worn by a two-year-old girl, “You littlest, you baby!” Carly looked back at Beth, pleading with my eyes, but Callie said, “She’s right, you’re the shortest. Now sit in your high chair and let Mommy feed you.” Carly was about to fight more when she added, “I’ll tell Mommy on you if you don’t!” With a sigh, Carly pretended to eat the play food and did her best not to let the fake spoon hit her mouth. She managed to actually land it inside twice, though, and Beth smirked as Carly made a face as if she had sand or something in her mouth. When enough time passed that she would have seemed to get bored of it, she said, “All done! What a good baby!” Beth grimaced internally but forced herself to smile as she suddenly squatted and activated her PooPloder. A moment later, Isabella came in to play Miss Terry. “Oh, did you finish feeding your baby, Callie?” Beth smiled and bounced a bit, “Uh-huh! She’s a good baby!” Isabella knelt down, smiled at her, and then turned her around to check her diaper. “I bet she is. Since you’re done feeding her, we’d better change Mommy into a fresh diaper, huh?” Beth looked at her with a confused look, “Huh?” “You’re poopy, dear!” “Nuh-uh,” she started to argue but made a face that sold her suddenly realizing she was. “Bree, come?” “Sure,” Isabella said as she grabbed both girls’ hands and led them inside the daycare. “Cut!” Sebastian called. “Will?” he asked. “All good, I think?” “Charlotte?” He asked. “I agree, I can’t see anything worth refilming. Beth and Carly did a great job with that scene. I thought I was going to lose it when the spoon went into your mouth, Carly,” Charlotte said. Carly stuck her tongue out at Charlotte, “I’m just glad it wasn’t a real play area… can you imagine how gross and how many germs would be on those things?!?” Charlotte laughed, “Babies don’t care though, huh?” “Almost done, everyone; let’s get this final scene in!” Sebastian said. There was a flurry of activity on the set as they reset cameras and relocated a few dolly tracks to smooth out some camera movements. Finally, they stood on the other side of the door to come in, and the call to action was made. Beth awkwardly waddled and followed Isabella to the changing table with her fully loaded diaper. Beth held her arms up even as Isabella leaned over to pick her up and placed her on the changing table. As she placed the safety strap on Beth, she looked down at Carly beside her. “Seems like you’ve got your work cut out for you here, Bree? But I guess you get to start potty training again next week!” Beth heard Carly’s sigh, “Mommy did say that.” Beth frowned deeply, “No wanna use potty!!!!” She then kicked her feet up and down at the end of the table in defiance! “No kicking, Callie!” Isabella warned. “Why not Callie? Being a big girl is fun! And using the potty isn’t a big deal?” Carly asked as if trying to defuse the misbehaving sister. “It’s boring! You have to stop playing!” “But…” Carly was about to argue when she went silent. Isabella was pulling the diaper cover down and the dress out of the way as she looked down at Carly. “Well, maybe you’ll both just have to find out how much fun you can have when you don’t have to stop playing to have your diapers changed!” “Bree, you still there?” Beth asked. Isabella patted her on the head, “She’s fine, she’s just having her own poopy moment.” “Bree poopy too!” Beth giggled. They filmed Beth being let down and Carly being placed on the table in her place. She winced as the contents of the PooPloder-filled diaper were pressed against her. Isabella quietly muttered, “You may never get out of diapers if she keeps that attitude up.” Beth watched from the side as Carly said the final line, “Don’t I know it!” They filmed the completion of the diaper change for good measure before Beth heard, “Cut!!!” Several minutes later, after reviewing the footage, Charlotte said, “That’s a wrap, everyone!” Cheers filled the room, as the crew felt they had done a lot of work to get there the past few weeks! “Okay, Connor, let’s go get you back to being Connor,” Gary said suddenly from beside them. “Cast photo first!” Charlotte insisted. “I guess,” he agreed. All of the crew crowded into the nursery part of the daycare and staged themselves, holding toys and rattles. A few even put pacifiers in their giant mouths. It was a cute photo they showed Beth and the others before they went to get changed. ‘I just hope we can get Carly figured out…’ she thought. Back in the wardrobe room, they helped Carly sit in the hair styling chair, and Beth watched Isabella first deactivate the hair nanites. A bow was still holding the hair in the back of her head. Still, the color seemingly instantly reverted to her usual dirty blonde, and her hair was a little more lifeless. Gary then came over with the tablet that controlled the gender nanites. “Okay, hopefully, this fixes everything here, Connor; you ready?” “Go for it,” Beth heard Carly say. As soon as Gary activated the system, Carly shouted in pain even as she briefly convulsed! When she stopped moving, everyone froze. It looked like nothing had changed!!! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the Like Button! I have some time off this week, so hopefully, I'll be able to get a bigger lead on chapters than I have right now. At a certain point, I may have to cut back to one a week to keep the flow going when my life gets nuts again in the fall. (It's always nuts, but sometimes it's worse than others!) Anyway, if this gets 25 likes by Sunday, I'll give you a bonus. If that one gets that, I'll probably be in the mood to give a third next week. This chapter answered many of your questions, but of course, some remain unanswered. Answers come in those next chapters! (Some of them, at least!) As always, if you enjoy my works, please consider purchasing the completed ones on Amazon Kindle! http://amazon.com/author/babysofia

Beer bottles for me

http://littlejunior.co.uk/ This website is for Little's (Littlespace) and Nappy Lovers (NL) and Diaper Lovers (DL) and Incontinence and Special Needs and Autism and SEN and Disabled and people who enjoy wearing nappies / diapers. Here you will find loads of great pages containing information and advice , photos , stories , links , diary and blog entries , drawings , magazines and of course about me and much more. including : Vintage Magazines + Much More !!

Diabetes robbed me of any form of erection and left me incontinent.

I wanted erectile dysfunction and a small penis, too. .... After taking medication I have side effekts that I wished. I am now fully impotent with a very small penis! I take these medications every day. A piece of reboxetine (antidepressant), a piece of Finasterid (Proscar) and half a tablet of estradiol (E2), an estrogen steroid hormone. The result is now complete impotence. No possibility of erection. No erections at night. No morning erections. No erection after stimulation. A little lifeless piece of meat between my legs. However, the libido has also decreased. This is a bit of a pity because a large piece of the libido excitation is missing. It is a compromise. The desired missing erection would be nice to look at with the horniness of times past, of course. But now everything happens in the head. It is beautiful sexual fantasy and dreams. It is a chastity belt that no longer needs to be worn. The internal connections to the penis are disconnected. It remains a mini penis hidden in diapers without sexual function. Interactions with a partner take place only in diapers and strapped dildo. You can see the result at fetlife "frankpeters71" . But please note the following: With antidepressants (SNRI), androcure and estrogen in addition, it will certainly never be hard and stiff again 😉 .......... Close to 100% of people who take antidepressants experience some form of sexual side effects. Most people will feel some degree of genital numbing, often within 30 minutes of taking the first dose. What is post-SSRI sexual dysfunction? Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD) is an condition which can arise following antidepressant use, in which sexual function does not completely return to normal after the discontinuation of antidepressants. Some people develop sexual side effects on antidepressants which either remain in full, or don’t resolve completely, when the drug is stopped. PSSD affects both men and women. It can happen after only a few days exposure to an antidepressant and can persist for months, years, or indefinitely. There is no known cure. There is no known cure.

For me it is having a small wee wee.