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Of course getting a bike wasn't going to be simple for Sam. When is anything simple for her? Once the friends get underway Sam is given plenty of time to appreciate the view and think about her complicated feelings. --- My writing is my passion and my income. I'm only able to write as much as I do because of the wonderful support from my subscribers. With the ABDL purge on Patreon hurting my income dramatically I have set up a couple of alternatives. If you enjoy my work and want to support me there has never been a time where I need it more. For $5 you can see every update to my stories one week before anyone else and for $10 you get early access PLUS access to 50+ stories EXCLUSIVE to subscribers. There are other rewards and tiers available including discounted commissions. To find out more please consider visiting one of my subscription sites. Prices, rewards and eveything else are the same across both https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy Thank you for reading and supporting me and my work ❤️ --- Sam had a lot on her mind. For once she wasn’t thinking about the diaper rubbing against the inside of her thighs, instead she couldn’t stop thinking about the sudden surge of feelings she had felt towards Nina. She was more confused than ever before. It was fortunately not a long walk to the bike area. A large warehouse sized building with a translucent ceiling that let a lot of light in. There was a small shop selling bike accessories and things off to the side but most of the floor space was just covered with bicycles. Sam looked around in awe, she had never seen so many bikes in one place and the air was filled with bells ringing and the sound of maintenance being done. There was a small desk with a Midforest employee stood behind it. He seemed to be checking some bike locks as the women approached him. “Hello. Picking up?” The man asked. “Yes. We reserved some bikes under the name Christine Walker.” Chrissy said. “Uh huh.” The man entered the details on the tablet on the desk, “OK, just bear with me for a minute.” The employee walked away leaving the girls to wait. There was no shortage of things to see. Sam found all the people wandering around with different types of bikes interesting. There was a lot of movement and colour. Amy, meanwhile, was looking through her guidebook and excitedly telling the others what they might see. Her enthusiasm was contagious, she was normally very reserved so to see her so chipper about something made Sam happy. “OK, we have three mountain bikes.” The man replied as he came back. Sam immediately felt her good mood faltering. Every single time there was a problem it always worked out worse for her and she had to think this was going to be no exception. The man lined up the three bikes and helmets and then checked his terminal again. “We have the four adult bikes booked but I see you a have a kid with you. Let me just check something.” The man walked away again before anyone could correct him. Sam blushed again. She didn’t blame him, she looked more childish than ever she was sure. The other girls looked and gave “what can you do?” kind of shrugs. They waited anxiously until the man came back again. “I’m afraid we don’t have any children’s bikes available.” The man said as he scrolled on the screen, “You must’ve made a mistake on the booking because there’s no way she could use an adult bike. Let me see… We have two option as far as I can see. We have… tricycles or the trailer.” As if to show what the trailer was someone walked past with a bike that had a small pod attached to the back. At the end of a little metal attachment was a child seat with restraints, there were two wheels, one on either side, and a transparent canopy that covered the whole thing from the elements. Sam had seen children riding around in these little trailers on preceding days with their parents cycling and pulling them along. “But Sam is an adult.” Chrissy said with frustration, “Why are none of you people ready for a smaller than average adult!? I swear I’m going to report Midforest to…” “Chrissy.” Sam sighed, “He’s right. I can’t ride one of those bikes… I mean, it’s just basic physics. I wouldn’t reach the pedals.” The employee looked a little bewildered. It was hard to tell if Chrissy’s sudden anger or Sam talking and actually proving she wasn’t a baby was more confusing to him. Sam looked at one of the nearby tricycles. There was no doubt they were primarily for children. “It might be hard to keep up on the trail.” Nina said as she followed Sam’s gaze to the three wheeled bike. Sam had to agree. The trail was going to be over a lot of uneven ground with loose surfaces and probably some steep hills, it didn’t seem like the tricycle was built to be taken off the tarmacked areas. “I’m… I’m sorry, ma’am.” The man was looking down at Sam. She could see he was struggling with the familiar internal battle of looking at someone who appeared to be a child but wasn’t, “Did I hear you’re all going out on a trail?” “Yes.” Sam replied. “The tricycles will struggle with that.” The man said, confirming Sam’s suspicions, “It doesn’t have the gears of a regular bike and the steeper hills will be a big problem if nothing else.” “Which means…” Sam looked at a nearby trailer. It was clearly the only option. “If you don’t want to do it no one will make you.” Nina said quietly. “We’ll take the trailer.” Sam said. She put on a brave smile. Chrissy didn’t look happy that Sam was being treated differently but she signed the forms and everyone started walking out with their bikes. One of them had the trailer attached and that was the one that Amy was pushing. Sam followed the others out. Already her thighs were getting annoyed about the thick padding between them, privately she thought getting to sit down the whole time on this trail was probably a good thing. “Alright, Sam, if you want to hop in we…” Amy started. “Is it… Would it be OK if Nina was the one on this bike?” Sam asked as she placed a hand on the tire of the bicycle that was attached to the trailer. “Why?” Amy asked, “I mean, it’s not a problem, I’m just wondering if there’s a reason.” “Nina’s the fittest.” Sam said logically, “I know I’m light but I’m still extra weight.” “Makes sense to me.” Chrissy said, “Leaves you free to do some cool tricks, Amy. I bet you could do an awesome wheelie.” Everyone laughed. As Sam looked at the trailer that was to be her method of transport. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Nina looking at her curiously. The truth was that Nina was the fittest of the four of them, she had run track in high school, but there were other reasons that Sam chose her roommate to be the one attached to her. “Need some help?” Nina asked when Sam looked over. “Just with the straps I think.” Sam replied. “Ah, good thinking.” Nina said as she crouched down next to the trailer, “Seat belts save lives. When we get into a fifteen bicycle pile-up you’ll be nice and safe.” Sam laughed perhaps a little too hard. Her cheeks went a little pink as she started climbing into the trailer. It wasn’t the easiest thing to get into like this and after getting her foot caught on the corner she started to fall backwards. Her arms swung around as she tried to stay up but she was going down until she felt two hands catch her. One was on her back and the other was resting square on the rear of her diaper. Sam’s eyes flew open as she was helped to get upright by Nina’s hands pressing against her. She turned and sat down in the seat with a face as red as the trailer base. Nina’s face seemed to be similarly red. She didn’t say anything as she reached in and helped Sam with the straps. As the straps were tightened Sam felt herself getting pushed back against the seat. The way the bottom of the safety seat curved meant that Sam sunk into it and her clearly padded crotch was pushed out slightly in front of her, her legs hung uselessly over the lip of the seat. She hadn’t realised just how much like a baby she was going to feel when sat down like this. She was very much reminded of a child’s seat in a car. “Alright?” Nina asked nervously, “Everything OK?” Sam nodded her head and Nina smiled. Reached over to the zip on the clear plastic canopy and brought it all the way round. It suddenly seemed like Sam was in her own little bubble. Sound became a bit muffled but she could see everything. What she didn’t like to see was other people looking in at her and waving as if she was a child. She could hardly blame their assumptions but it still made her grumpy. “Everyone ready?” Chrissy asked from nearby as she sat on her saddle, “Last one there’s a rotten egg!” Sam heard Nina laugh as she hopped over the frame of the bike and sat down. A second later Sam felt a jolt as they started to move. All of a sudden she felt a lot less happy about her position as she gripped the sides of her safety seat. It was strange to be pulled along like this without any control over her speed or direction. The group cycled along the tarmac roads past the adventure course and the main plaza. Sam shifted awkwardly in her seat, she was quickly finding that these restraints were no joke as she could barely lean forwards at all. Just to find out if she could she tried to call out for Nina’s attention but it seemed like she couldn’t be heard. The combination of the other girls talking, the canopy and the sounds of tires crunching on gravel parts of the road seemed to drown out Sam’s small high-pitched voice. After passing most of the more populated areas of Midforest (and Chrissy nearly fell off her bike after an ill-conceived attempt at a “trick”) the group came to a small opening that led into the forest. Amy checked the signs and her map and then excitedly clapped her hands. She led the way on to the trail. Sam immediately noticed that the trail was harder for her friends to cycle than the flat tarmac had been. The loose gravel path rapidly rose and fell and there were many bumps. Sam could tell Nina was having to work hard with the extra weight attached to her bike, she was frequently rising out of the saddle to try and peddle harder to keep up. Every time Nina lifted up Sam couldn’t help but stare at her butt. It looked just fantastic under Nina’s pants. This was an unusual sensation for Sam to say the least. She’d never found herself attracted to anyone much. Amy, who was well-researched on topics like sexuality, suggested Sam might be demi-sexual. Sam had to look up what that meant and found out that it was, essentially, a descriptor for a person that only experienced sexual feelings for someone after developing a close bond with them. In other words Sam didn’t fancy people because of how they looked or if they seemed nice, she had to have an emotional attachment first. Was that what was happening now? Did Sam actually have a crush on her best friend? Sam tried to think logically about everything. She had always kept walls up so other people didn’t get too close. She was obsessed with not being seen as less than an adult, she never let anyone see her naked or even mostly undressed but in the last few days it had all changed. Nina had seen Sam at her most vulnerable and embarrassed but she still stood by her. “Guys! We should stop here!” Amy shouted, “It’s beautiful and we’ll be able to see herons, kingfishers and…” “Alright, we get it.” Chrissy said as she skidded to a stop, “I could use a breather.” Nina slowed and then finally stopped. Sam had been lost in thought but as she now looked around she agreed the scenery was stunning. This section of the path was winding up the side of a hill with the lush forest on one side and on the other a large beautiful looking lake. There was near silence apart from the four girls. “Um, guys?” Sam said after half a minute. “Oh crap!” Nina quickly said as she hurried over. Sam’s three friends had been walking over to the edge of the path to look down to the lake and seemingly forgetting that Sam was strapped into her seat. Nina hurried over and unzipped the canopy as she muttered apologies. Sam found it hard to look at her friend for reasons that had nothing to do with her diaper. With the straps removed Sam still couldn’t get out of the deep seat without help. Nina took both her hands and helped pull her up. Once Sam was standing she held on for just a second longer than she had to. Sam hopped down from the trailer and went to the others to look at the lake. Amy already had her binoculars out and was urgently scanning the edge of the water for wildlife. “It’s beautiful.” Sam said as she stood on tip-toes to see over the low hedge at the side of the road. “Here. Let me help you.” Nina said. “You really don’t…” Sam started. Sam felt Nina’s hands take hold of her and she was suddenly lifted off the ground. Sam’s eyes were wide open as she was lifted all the way up to sit on Nina’s shoulders. Her hands wrapped around Nina’s forehead to keep herself stable. She had to admit the view was even more beautiful from this elevated viewpoint and she looked around at the scenery with a smile. Even though the hefty diaper between her legs was pressing against the back of Nina’s head she felt only a little embarrassed. “Are you feeling alright?” Chrissy asked suddenly. “Huh?” Sam looked around to where Chrissy was frowning and holding up her bike. “You normally HATE people picking you up.” Chrissy said accurately. Sam couldn’t respond. It was true, she actively avoided it in all situations even if it meant she had to struggle or find some way to climb up to where she needed to go. She hated to even ask for help yet alone ask to be lifted up. Now she was sitting on Nina’s shoulders without a care in the world. Her face went red, she didn’t know what to say. “She just wanted to see the view.” Nina said, “Do you have a better idea?” Chrissy shrugged and turned away to look at the view again. Sam saw her head quickly turn to look at Sam one more time before she let the subject drop. Sam was grateful for Nina’s intervention. The truth of why she was happy to let Nina pick her up wasn’t something she was fully prepared to admit to herself yet alone other people. “Ooh, look!” Amy excitedly pointed across the lake, “It’s an osprey!” Without binoculars all Sam could see was a small bird gliding fast over the water. She watched it get lower and lower until the bird’s legs stuck out in front of its head and it made contact with the surface. A few seconds later it started laboriously flapping its wings and when it rose up it had a fish in its talons. Amy squealed excitedly as she followed the osprey’s progress back amongst the trees. “Cool.” Chrissy nodded her head appreciatively. “That was amazing!” Amy smiled widely as she lowered her binoculars, “Wait… what are you doing up there?” Somehow Amy had been so absorbed in watching the lake and the animals she had completely missed what was happening with Sam. She was frowning in confusion exactly the same way Chrissy had been. “It doesn’t matter.” Nina said, “We should probably move on anyway.” Nina crouched down and allowed Sam to carefully lower herself to the ground. Almost as soon as her feet touched the earth she felt a rumble in her belly. That was ominous but there was little she could do right there and then. She tried to ignore the looks she was getting from Chrissy and Amy as she was helped back into her trailer. “Thank you.” Sam said as the straps were done up. “You’d have done the same for me.” Nina said with a smile. “I don’t know if sitting on my shoulders would be all that useful to you.” Sam joked. The two shared a laugh before the canopy was closed around Sam again. As she heard Nina giggling she felt like her heart was swelling again. She was almost grateful when her friend went back to the bike since it would stop Sam from making a fool of herself. She chastised herself. Of all the times to develop a crush on someone this was a bad one, not to mention it being on her best friend. She would ruin the closeness they had if she told the truth. Besides how could anyone like Sam in that way when she had embarrassed herself in front of them so often. Sam’s internal monologue was stopped when there was a sudden pull and the trailer started moving. It was only a few minutes later that Sam felt another rumbling in her tummy, it was more urgent this time and now she was getting really worried. “Um, Nina?” Sam called out as loudly as she could manage. --- If you want to find out what happens next you can do so RIGHT NOW at either of the following links: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyymi677/chapter/f401115a-6967-45d5-aac3-74a2abe6e9df https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1184467

Good afternoon all! I know not everyone will read this little message, but I appreciate those that will. So many of you who left comments, criticisms, suggestions, and encouragements meant the world to me then, and now. So in a way this is a thank you to each of you, and a moment of reflection for me. Today has finally come. February 22, 2023 was the first day I started writing the Ballet Slippers. It was, as I reflect on it now, the first day I became a writer. This was, and always will be, my first story, and it is precious to me. I revisit it often, just to read a chapter or two. Just to say hello to Isabelle, Lola, Dani, Jane, and everyone else. When I started writing, I didn't ever anticipate that I would ever grow to care about my fictional diaper story characters. But I did. And i do. And I no longer feel silly for that, even if I did for a long time. When I came to the close of this story, I felt obligated to finish the story in a way that felt like the right ending, rather than the ending I wanted. I had always planned to end it in the way I did originally, but as I kept writing that changed. I don't know why I didn't change with my story. Instead, I stuck with the original plan, and ended the story how it felt I should have instead of how I was feeling. I felt, and still feel, I wrote the first 99% of the story the way I wanted. Why I changed my approach at the end, I am still not certain. But it has bothered me since. I think it bothered some of the readers too. A lot of the criticism I received about the end may have been rooted in that my readers also felt it was a departure from what I wanted. I like to pretend to myself that you sensed it was "off-key" for my story, that you too could tell it wasn't what I wanted. Alternatively, and far more likely, it may just be that I was a rookie writer and/or you simply didn't like the ending. That's okay too. But, no matter whether you liked it or not, you all said the same thing; it was MY story, so I could end it how I wanted. I didn't end it how I wanted. And because it is my story, many of you have suggested or encouraged me privately or publicly to consider re-writing the end (thanks especially to @BabySofia for everything. Truly!) I have been wanting to do this for some time. And I finally have. Most importantly, I am doing it for me, and am confident about that. That feeling of ending the story the way I wanted to has never gone away. My hope is this will in some way let me close the door on this story, and move to the next. So that's what I have for you all as an update. I have removed Chapter 62 and the Epilogue, and plan to update my ending. New chapter 62 will be posted tonight, followed by Chapter 63, and then in all likelihood, an Epilogue. My goal is to have the new ending all finished before March 10, which will be the one year mark of posting the first chapter here. I am so grateful for everyone who has been on this journey with me along the way. You may dislike my new ending, and that's okay with me too! But I won't, and am so excited to be writing my wrong (see what I did there!?) Olympiczero.

Chapter 90: Changed BETH WATCHED AS the injection was given, wincing as she knew a needle extended and quickly retracted. At first, Connor did not react, and it seemed like nothing had happened. Suddenly, Connor screamed in pain for a second! It briefly occurred Beth thought everyone was about to rush in, but then Connor went silent and back to his ‘sleeping’ from the anesthesia. Beth watched his forehead and jaw shape change slightly, even as his figure changed somewhat. She had wondered if they would give Connor breasts to make it seem like he was an adult, but instead, the shape of his body just became very convincingly toddler-like. ‘Connor’s cute like this,’ Beth admitted. He now had an adorable toddler girl set of proportions in his face and limbs. Everything carried on as usual with the filming, but as soon as “Cut!” was called, Professor Ponce immediately pounced and was looking over Connor. “Connor, are you okay?” She asked. Connor blinked a second before sitting up, “I think so?” He shook his head, the pigtails tied into his hair bouncing back and forth. “That was a little more of a jolt to my system than I expected?” “That can happen,” the professor said. “Miss Perez, why don’t you and another female crew member take our young actor back to a place where you can make sure everything changed okay? I’m just going to clean up the kit?” “I’ll go with Connor,” Beth said, ensuring she wouldn’t be left behind. “Sounds good,” Connor said, seeming to have his body movements more alert again. Beth noticed his voice sounded like a young girl’s now. Charlotte gathered him from the table, and the three returned to the wardrobe area and into one of the changing rooms. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Charlotte asked as she sat him on top of the bench in the changing room. “I think so?” Connor replied, “Things seem to be getting better every moment. I should be okay to shoot again here in a few minutes?” “Well, before we do that, let’s check that nothing weird happened?” Charlotte suggested. Connor nodded, and he pulled up the hospital gown over and off of his body. “Just sit down there,” Charlotte said, “That diaper has LittleProof tapes.” Connor didn’t argue, and Beth watched as she pulled it loose. Then they helped pull the bodysuit off and down his legs and revealed what was beneath. Beth couldn’t help but note Connor grinned widely. I LOOKED DOWN at parts that were supposed to be on my body missing and other parts that weren’t present. ‘It worked!!!!’ I tried to control my urge to jump up and down for joy but kept it to just a grin. ‘Finally!!!’ I smiled. I looked at my body and felt a sense of peace and calm that I had never felt before. I had always felt like the pieces down below looked out of place and wrong. With the old dangly one gone and the new parts in place, I no longer felt wrong! As a kid, I was always jealous of my baby sisters and how cute they could dress! Of course, Riley and I were so close in age that I’d grown up playing dress-up with them all the time and certainly played with dolls as much as any other toy. Mama had been worried about it, but Mom just shrugged and supported me. As we reached middle school age, that stopped, and it had been a few years since I’d really been able to dress up as myself with them. I felt my chest and was a little disappointed I couldn’t feel any tissue there. In fact, if anything, it felt like the little bit of fat deposits that had been there were gone, and things felt even flatter. My legs and arms looked just a little chubbier than usual, even as I hoped I hadn’t lost muscle mass. Looking at my arms, I said suddenly again, “Whoa! Where did my arm hair go?” I looked down at my legs and noticed the same thing while noticing how drastically different my voice was! “That treatment almost always has hair removed,” Charlotte told me, “We made sure that it was going to do that for you. Once we reverse it, you can grow it back within a month or so.” “And my voice?” I said, speaking again and listening that it didn’t sound like me, even as I could feel myself saying it. “Same thing, not that you had a low voice before, but this way, the illusion is perfect for your character’s new mommy. It should also help make things better for your big sister to relate to you?” I nodded and looked at the makeup mirror, which was almost too high above my head to see. The face looking back at me looked like it was taken from a picture of Lilah or Hannah when they were about two. “I look like my baby sisters now,” I said, a little surprised. “Somehow, I think you look like you should be their baby sister now,” Beth said. I nodded, “Yeah… I wouldn’t think I look older than maybe two right now? Will people think we switched out my character for a toddler?” Charlotte laughed, “No, that’s pretty normal of an appearance change if the right to do so is granted.” I nodded at that. Everything was as perfect as I could have wanted, but I was just slightly worried about the jolt I felt! That wasn’t present on any documentation I’d looked up for the costumer’s version of the nanites. I didn’t have time to dwell on the possible problem, though. “Well, let’s get this diaper on you; we won’t need the bodysuit again for a bit,” Charlotte said as she grabbed a fresh one. “Unless you want to show the crew the new birthday suit?” I rapidly shook my head, “Umm… no thank you!” Beth laughed, “We’ll get out there and finish this set of scenes and maybe take a twenty-minute break?” I nodded at that. She pushed me down onto my back and placed the new diaper underneath me. These diapers they had us using for the project and in the theater department were annoyingly thicker than my nighttime diapers in the nest. She added a bit of powder before pulling me back into her arms and stopping. “Beth, I think we need a new name for our little girl besides her character name?” She smiled at her, “Why don’t you take the honor of naming her? You’re her girlfriend, after all?” Beth smiled at me, “How about Carly?” “I like it!” Charlotte said, “Until we change you back, are you okay with being Carly?” I smiled, “That works for me.” Inside, I smiled and thought, ‘Thanks, Beth.’ “Okay, Carly, let’s go get this scene wrapped up! “Kay,” I said, leaning against her warmer body as we left for the fake office. She placed me back down on the table. Professor Ponce asked me, “Does everything seem okay?” “As far as we can tell?” “Great! When you finish filming tomorrow, Gary will be able to handle everything. I’ve already shown him how to reverse the procedure.” “Thanks,” I told him. Even as I thought, ‘I wonder how I can tell them to leave me…?’ Before I could brood, though, we had me lying down, and we resumed filming. I pretended to be asleep as Gary ran a scanner over me, “It’s a girl!!!!” Even with my eyes closed, I wanted to roll my eyes at the improvised dialogue that hadn’t been written, “Your baby girl is all good to go home!” “Everything went okay?” “Yes, Miss Ingels, she’s your perfect baby girl now,” he told her. They’d added some dialogue before I was again dressed in the same romper, still pretending to be asleep. Then Charlotte carried my cradled body back to the car to buckle me in. “Cut!” we heard, and “Okay everyone, let’s take a fifteen-minute break. Hit the restroom if you need to. There are a couple boxes of doughnuts and some sandwiches over there,” Sebastian said. “Carly?” I heard from above me. “Yes?” I looked up at Charlotte. “You want some help with the diaper to use the restroom?” I blushed but nodded. “Ride?” She asked next. I sighed and held my arms out, “Might as well take advantage of those long legs of yours.” Beth looked nervous then, and I hoped she wasn’t getting jealous. “You okay, Beth?” I asked. “Yes,” she said, “Just looking forward to getting my scenes over within a bit.” “Oh, yeah, you’re almost up again with me, aren’t you?” She nodded from the ground, where she followed with her head just above Charlotte’s waist. She sat me down on the floor in the dressing room before kneeling in front of me. Without warning, she pulled the romper snaps open and then ripped the diaper off, nodding towards the bathroom. “Go ahead and go potty, Carly.” “Don’t forget to wipe!” Beth said. “Huh?” “I’m coming in with you,” Beth said suddenly, pushed me into the bathroom door, and closed it behind her. “What…?” “You’ve not exactly had your princess parts very long?” Beth said. I blushed tomato red, “Umm… an hour?” “When you’re done peeing, you have to wipe; you can’t just shake things off anymore!” She looked at me and smirked. I nodded; I climbed onto the tall toilet with a stool someone had left next to it and pulled the open romper up and out of the way. I felt a bit self-conscious as I realized Beth was staring even as I managed to release my bladder. It felt the same yet quite different as the urine fell into the toilet. When I was done, Beth handed me a wad of paper, “Make sure you wipe front to back; you don’t want to end up with an infection from the other way.” I blushed and didn’t want to tell her I knew that already. After I let the romper back down, she shocked me by sitting on the potty herself. I was curious and found myself looking at her, too. Other than the hair that she had, we looked similar now. “Guess that’s the first time I’ve let you have a look, huh?” She said with a smile after she cleaned up. “Sorry, I was just curious to compare?” “Well, I guess right now my mom doesn’t have to worry about you getting me pregnant. Probably the best time to get you in the sack!” I blushed bright red as we washed our hands and made our way back outside to the main changing room. I found Charlotte waiting with a diaper for me. “You good for a bit?” She asked me. I nodded and let her pick me up to place me on the table. Since the romper was still undone, she pushed it out of the way and up my stomach, added some powder, and quickly finished taping the diaper shut. Some quick snaps later, and I was back in costume. “Why don’t we all go grab a quick snack?” Charlotte suggested. I shrugged, but I really didn’t trust outside food. “I just want to grab water from my bag, if you don’t mind?” She laughed, “We need to put some meat on those bones! Even with those chubby toddler looks, you still look like a skeleton, practically Carly!” BETH SHOOK HER head at Charlotte, ‘I sure as hell hope she doesn’t start cossetting Carly now!’ From what Beth could see, Charlotte didn’t seem to have any ill intentions. Still, her behavior bore watching since it had shifted to being a bit too willing to help in her mind. Even as they prowled the snack table, she promised to watch that change. Nikki came over right then, “You should be safe on all of this stuff,” she whispered, “I checked.” Beth nodded, “Thanks!” She grabbed a chocolate-glazed doughnut and nibbled on it as the crew began resetting the set. A salon for Littles and kids was taking shape in the air then, and she couldn’t help but feel a bit nauseous at some of the signs that had been added in the detail work. Littles must wear protection at all times! Squirmer? Let us know; we have chairs with straps! We only do hair, makeup, and nails! Anything else, and you need another shop! All Littles and Babies MUST be accompanied by a parent or guardian at ALL times! We are not a babysitting service! Beth wondered if this was one of the scenes out of the library they had just purchased for the filming with their budget. Just before the filming restarted, Charlotte called everyone over. “I’m speaking primarily to the girls in our group, but guys, listen up too! From here on out, we will all find our instincts flaring up around both our costars! This is a pretty natural instinct, and I don’t expect anyone to be able to fully ignore it.” She paused, “That being said, we need to do our best.” She looked at Carly, “Carly, sorry, I was starting to have that problem myself a few minutes ago.” “It’s okay, thanks for realizing…” “That is the other thing since we have given this treatment to our star until we get Connor back, this is Carly!” ‘Her boyfriend…?’ Beth shook her head, ‘Girlfriend? This is confusing!’ She watched Carly blush, but she didn’t look unhappy. If anything, that was one of the more genuine smiles she’d seen on her face. ‘We’re going to have a talk tonight when we get to Amanda’s!’ A few minutes later, work was back in session, and there was a montage filmed in the salon chair with Carly sitting down and alternating the HoloCharacter ‘cutting’ her hair and Isabella really doing it. Connor’s hair had been down his back, and Beth could tell there were nerves about this for him. They cut his hair to just below his shoulders in a ‘U’ shaped cut and gave her adorable bangs. A nanite spray was placed on her hair that, when activated, made Carly’s hair perfectly match her own red hair. ‘This is confusing!’ she said to herself, trying to sort out what gender to refer to Carly as. Shaking her head, she watched the final product, which consisted of two cute hair clips with bows placed on either side of her head. ‘If I saw her on the street right now, I wouldn’t guess Little,’ she thought. ‘Definitely would think she was a genuine toddler. This is what almost happened to Dad, I guess?’ With a jolt, she realized she should ask her dad for advice. She knew her parents had continued playing with him as her baby girl frequently until they thought she was old enough to remember, then stopped with her present. The problem was her memories didn’t leave her, so she still remembered her perfect big baby sister playmate! ‘If he wasn’t on the court, I’m pretty sure they’d still be doing it,’ she thought. Then admitted, ‘They could still be doing it secretly, and I don’t know about it.’ That thought felt so wrong, and she was glad to have a distraction in the form of Carly coming up to her. “What do you think?” She asked nervously. “It’s adorable?” Carly nodded, “It is cute… They said they can make it grow back to the length tomorrow to lose the shape? And the color will return to normal, too?” Beth laughed, “They can, unless you don’t want them to. It is a cute look for you!” She decided to add, “You might lose the bangs, though?” Carly blushed then, “Yeah, they’re definitely sending me plummeting into the toddler age range. It could have been worse; they wanted to cut it shorter into a bob at first.” Beth laughed, “That would have been even more adorable, but since you’re supposed to be the same age as your ‘big sister,’ I’m guessing it wouldn’t have worked as well.” “Carly, are you ready?” they heard. “Coming,” she said to Sebastian and Charlotte. Beth watched her hair bounce and then settled in to watch the rest of the montage scenes get filmed. A trip to a Little store was uncomfortable to watch. Still, given Brianna’s restrictions, there weren’t as many cringeworthy things happening. The diapers ‘purchased’ were the brand that they were stuck with, thanks to that stupid university sponsorship. Eventually ‘Brianna’ was dressed in a pretty dress to meet her sister, and they filmed her arrival at the daycare to go inside to pick up her ‘sister.’ “Cut!” Sebastian said after running that scene for the fourth time. “Let’s change over the scenery to the daycare interior and get everyone cast-wise ready to shoot Scene 17 inside in thirty minutes, please!” Beth cringed but knew she needed to get to wardrobe. It was time for the ‘sisters’ to start acting together… ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the 'Like' button and leave me a comment! Well, to be honest you all missed the mark by a Like in my mind, but I also missed the mark by a chapter over the weekend. I decided we still needed to be rewarded with a posting anyway! I'll post again on Friday morning before I go to work. Thanks again for reading my works! Please consider purchasing a copy of my completed works from Amazon if you enjoy them! Having a small source of extra income there helps me keep the spare time to write for you all! https://www.amazon.com/author/babysofia

Hey everyone! Moving right along with these chapters, I still feel pretty confident in being able to finish this story before my next little trip at the end of the month. It’s a bit tight still, but considering where I’m going (if you know, you know), I couldn’t be happier. Still, with the quick turn around time, I’m also thinking of the ending to all this and what comes next. Originally, I was going to post a few ideas that I had for my next story here and was then going to then post them in my last chapter. Thinking about it now, I feel I should post those next ideas for you all to choose sooner rather than in the end. My last chapter usually discusses what story is next, but if I do it the original way I had intended, no one would know until I started posting again. So, if anyone has any thoughts on this, please just let me know. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 15: Spiraling and Acceptance With the weeks of Fall quickly turning colder, I realized I hadn’t seen Ditzy for some time in daycare now. I really started to notice it when Derek was there and she wasn’t, and while I was told that she was ‘safe,’ I feel I could be pardoned for not outright believing any Big outside of the family. Still, I had accepted it, but when my worry grew over the course of the next few weeks, I just couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore. I had asked the entire daycare and its staff, but I either got the same ‘she’s safe’ answer, a few ‘I don’t know,’ or even just plain drool from those who had been hitting the Tabers milk pretty hard lately. It was a big problem but worrying about Ditzy had to be my first worry. Finally, though, we got a call from Oppy’s informing us that Ditzy had actually come home and was now staying with them. So, intrigued by what all this meant, Samantha and I went over to their house today to see what was happening. To our surprise, first, Harriet wasn’t there, as was seemingly becoming a habit of hers, but second, Chelsea actually seemed more coherent now. Not adult or even childlike by any definition, but still more there. “We got her tested at the academy,” Oppy explained as she gestured to her daughter on the ground and currently playing with Ditzy. “She tested well from her behavior since her punishment and was allowed a little of her maturity back. They said that after what occurred to her to get her to regress, it’s going to be a long road to recovery though.” It wasn’t the news any of us were hoping to hear, but Samantha actually seemed relieved. “Well, at least she’s being allowed to grow up. I saw that place firsthand from both sides… it’s a miracle anyone can ‘grow-up’ after that place.” Oppy nodded. “Very true, dear. I remember when they first built that place… major controversy to put people through all that…” The tension and sadness in the room was soon broken by a fit of giggles coming from both Chelsea and Ditzy on the floor. By now, everyone had just accepted that Ditzy would likely never recover, consciously wanting not to or just mentally unable wasn’t certain, but we all just accepted her coos and babbles as that of any happy Little. Considering both seemed happy, it was just best to accept it all as it was. After some time just observing the two, I just had to ask my own personal question that had been bugging me since I saw protocol one being enacted. “Is Chelsea… uh, aware now?” Oppy looked at her regressed daughter still playing with dolls and Ditzy on the floor and sighed. “I’m really not sure, honey. She might get there with some time and a little work on everyone’s part, but I think she’s still too buried in herself.” “Are you sure, mom?” Samantha quickly questioned; her petting of Luna’s head briefly paused. “She kind of looks embarrassed sometimes… I don’t know, but maybe she is a bit?” Oppy nodded. “It’s possible she’s in there and can actually think for herself, but for now, I don’t think she can express herself.” I guess sensing that no one wanted to take that assumption on faith or trust alone, Oppy turned over to her regressed daughter, and rubbed her back to get her to stare back. “Okay, Chelsea… let’s try this again for our guests…” Chelsea only grinned back at the rest of us. For the first time in months, I could see some recognition in her eyes of who we were. I wasn’t sure what it was, but before, she would just smile at us in the same way, but more like she would at any funny or comforting object in her life. Now, for whatever reason, I felt there was now some memory attached to each of us. “Do you know who I am?” Oppy asked her daughter in earnest. I’m sure the question was devastating from what I could imagine coming from a mother to her daughter in this manner. I could see the hope chiseled across the matriarch’s face, but I could also see the fear and sadness hiding right behind all that as well. For her part, though, Chelsea smiled and then pointed right back at Oppy. “Ma!” she squealed. It wasn’t much, and for all we knew, ‘ma’ could have meant apple, but it was something when before we had nothing. So, of course, everyone began showering her with praise. “Oh, what a good smart little girl I have!” Oppy cooed down at her daughter, now clearly relieved herself that there was something inside her daughter still. I could just picture this same scene happening 30 years ago if the proportions and actual ages were only a little different. This went on for a while and by the end of it all, we could see the borders of Chelsea’s cognition pretty clearly. Each of our names was only one syllable and she could identify a few objects around her, but that was about it. As we kept telling ourselves though, it was progress. “So, I had to take Ditzy out of the permanent nursery eventually,” Oppy started to explain. “Chelse had chosen her, and Ditzy only wasn’t allowed back here when Chelsea was fully regressed herself. Probably some responsibility thing and part of her punishment I guess, but since Chelse was allowed to grow back up a little, I petitioned to get Ditzy back.” “But why wasn’t she in daycare the past few weeks?” I questioned; my mindset still worried about some subplot within the academy to hurt this family. Oppy nodded. “Right… that.” She sighed. “Well, because of the relationship between these two as it was versus how it is now, the doctors suggested that the two needed to get reacquainted. I’m sure you can tell, but the two are basically sisters right now rather than Big and Little. That’s only after everything we did to help them out.” “I was kind of noticing that mom,” Samantha admitted. “Is it ever going to go away? Are they just sisters forever now?” Oppy shook her head. “It will go away eventually, but it just takes time. You should have seen them when they first saw each other again.” “It was kind of funny,” Luna piped up. They were definitely quieter and more resigned lately, but I could tell they were definitely happy in their new life as the family’s Middle Neko. Their subtle purring and flickering ears could have told me at least that much as well. “Chelsea tried to be the mommy to Ditzy and Ditzy wanted it, but Chelse just kept falling over and then pooping herself. It was messy but kind of funny, well at least…” “At least until Ditzy stopped accepting her as a grown-up though…” Oppy interjected. “Littles like Ditzy often only see things in black and white. One is a Little or a Big. There are some exceptions, but at Chelsea’s current level, Ditzy wasn’t giving her any alternatives back.” “So, what did you do?” I asked quickly, clearly noticing the two were practically best friends now as Samantha had observed before me. “We hired a sitter,” Oppy said plainly, but she obviously saw the confused expressions on our faces with that simple explanation, so she continued. “Georgette… she’s basically a miracle worker.” “But who is she, mom?” Samantha questioned. I could practically taste the paranoia laced within her voice about someone new to the family. From all that happened and that I knew was happening within the academy, I couldn’t blame her. “She was actually highly recommended to me by an old friend,” Oppy explained. “She’s currently in a master’s degree program and even already graduated from the academy. She’s a smart one and even has degrees in Psychology and Littles studies. She was just perfect!” “Even taught us a new cookie recipe!” Luna added in. We all chuckled from that but seemed satisfied as well. Oppy then leaned over to her daughter. “I’ll even get you her card, dear. She’s an excellent babysitter.” Oppy quickly looked to me and hastily added, “For emergencies only of course…” I wasn’t a fan of that type of action or even the implication I would need a babysitter, with so many other options available, but I was a Little, and as usual, that had to come with a few concessions in this world. I just hoped that wouldn’t be a bridge we would have to cross for a long time yet. The day then continued pretty much like that with questions back and forth. Everyone was catching up with each other since we hadn’t seen Oppy or Luna in some time, but then everyone broke to go get some food. It was a little awkward, but I quickly rushed up to Oppy when she was mostly alone and just keeping an eye on Chelsea and Ditzy. “Oppy,” I tried to say as confidently as I could, “Can we talk?” “Of course, sweetie,” she replied in her usual kind manner. “You know I’m always here if you need me.” “Uh, thank you.” I knew I shouldn’t have been, but I was a little thrown off by her kindness towards me. It made my demand harder to make, but I just had to know at this point. “But Oppy… I want to talk about our deal.” Oppy’s usual near permanently etched-in smile quickly faded. “Oh…” She then looked back at Chelsea and Ditzy, and then over to the kitchen. “Hon, I want to show Percy some clothes I got that might fit him. Just be a sec, but can you keep an eye on the girls?” she called out toward the kitchen. “Sure thing, mom!” Samantha called back. Oppy then gestured me away and into Chelsea’s nursery. Despite her growing back up, it still had not changed. After the hesitation by everyone and then their praise over her still limited vocabulary, I wondered if it ever would. While in there, I could see the serious and morose look on Oppy’s face. It didn’t seem like the news was going to be good. “Please just tell me the truth…” Oppy nodded and sighed. “I was telling you the truth, Percy. I really was when I made you that offer. I had a contact within the academy that worked the portal device and another in files. We could have gotten you out and it would have been completely legal too. Judge Hawthorne owes me a few favors and you would have been free forever from the reaches of the academy.” She then paused and I felt the truly bad news coming. “But?” “But the trial changed everything,” she explained. “Samantha told me she explained everything to you, so, once they found out your mental abilities and the fact that you actually knew a lot about modern Earth, they found what they had been looking for. As a result, they locked you and Samantha into a contract with such severe consequences for you both if you ever backed out. Even with my contacts and the appeal I made to the courts after, I was blocked at every turn. I’m so sorry…” It was all what I had suspected after Samantha had informed me of protocol one, but I just needed to confirm it in person. “I didn’t know you did that for me with the courts and all… thank you for trying at least. It means more to me than you know.” Oppy smiled. “Of course, sweetie. I know all this has been a royal mess and I can’t apologize enough to you, but you are family, and as I’m sure you’ve seen so far, I’ll do most anything for my family.” It was a nice touching moment, and I even went in for a hug that was instantly reciprocated. For me, it wasn’t just her fantastic oatmeal cookies or that she let me stay up for another hour, if I could, if I was ever over here at night. I had to hug her because Oppy had gone above her duties as just another family member to me. To be blunt, even if I wasn’t told about her relations, in all aspects of the title by now, I just viewed her as my amazing and loving grandmother. A little more time passed afterward, and just as the sun had started to dip below the very tops of the tallest trees in the backyard, Samantha got a phone call. Everything was going so well, and we were all laughing, but as soon as she answered, her eyes went wide with fear and worry. “I understand. We’ll be right over.” She then hung up the phone and got up. “Come on, Percy,” she commanded. “We need to go. Now.” “What’s going on, dear? Is everything okay?” Oppy asked in a panic. I couldn’t blame her and wanted to know the same. Samantha shook her head. “No, mom. It’s Harriet. There’s a problem and we need to go right now.” The family needed no further prompting to go help one of their own after that and let us be on our way. I’m sure that any other time, Luna and Oppy would be right alongside us, but Ditzy and Chelsea presented a problem… especially if Harriet was having a crisis. Having a regressed Big and Little there would likely only complicate matters. So, after wave and some hugs goodbye, we were off once more. The ride was silent the whole way to the academy dorms. She didn’t say it, but I clearly saw the panic and worry in Samantha’s face. Harriet was her mentee after all, and I knew had been calling Samantha in crisis mode ever since her botched hunter mission. The scars had all healed up pretty nicely with their technology here, but her mental scars seemed far from fixed. After parking and heading over to her dorm, I saw the Beakerman statue once more. It was still an ugly thing in my opinion, but I also couldn’t help but wonder about her and her efforts here. ‘Was she the start of everything? Should I blame her about everything happening in my life lately, or was she only coming from a place of ingenuity and caring for her society after a massive war?’ I wasn’t sure, but as soon as Samantha and I entered the top floor where Harriet lived, we started to hear a dreadful singing and my mind quickly snapped back to the present. “Oh, thank you for coming so soon, Professor Norris!” a Big woman cried out as soon as she saw Samantha. I found it curious there were so few people out here with all the loud singing going on, but I was honestly more distracted by this new woman’s footie pajamas with teddy bears yawning and waving back at me. If a Little was caught wearing that, I felt like any Big would have been claimed on the spot, but I guess those rules just didn’t apply to the rest of this society. ‘Stupid unwritten rules…’ “Tell me what’s going on, Rebecca,” Samantha asked the frightened girl, clearly knowing her as well already. “Well, I’m not sure what triggered it all, but most everyone on the floor went away for the weekend. They won’t be back until tomorrow night, but I stayed to get a little extra work done. Save me time with finals coming up and all, you know?” Samantha nodded. “Sounds sensible, but Harriet… has she done anything… problematic? Or permanent?” Rebecca strained her looks back at her professor in clear confusion, but her eyes widened as I guessed she finally understood what Samantha was really asking. I’m glad she did, because I sure didn’t. Though, in retrospect, I guess I was more distracted by the pained and sloppy drunken singing coming from down the hall. “No, ma’am. Nothing like that… yet. She started drinking earlier in the day… not that it’s uncommon for her lately, but I don’t judge. Then, about an hour ago though, she started singing and stumbling around. She almost broke a window, but I stooped her before she did that.” Samantha quickly seemed relieved. “That’s good… thank you, Rebecca. You were right to call me.” Rebecca looked relieved herself, but then stared down at me. “Oh? Is this the little cutie I’ve heard so much about that does those lectures in your class?” Samantha quickly nodded. “You know… I almost took your introductory class again just to hear this little guy speak.” “Uh… thanks?” I said, really unsure of what I should say to her. I felt like she just wanted to hug me, check my diaper, and then give me a bottle. I was getting used to those looks, but right then, Samantha luckily intervened. “I’ll be sure to post a few of his lectures for everyone to see soon. Even when they’re just about some of the traditions they have on Earth, they’re still pretty interesting.” Samantha then started to walk away, and I followed her. Rebecca stopped us cold though with a tiny squeak. “Professor Norris! Wait!” Samantha turned back to her old student, waiting impatiently for why she stopped us. Knowing where we were going, I had my guesses. “I… uh, I could watch over Percy here, if you want. Could be messy in there…” ‘I hated being right…’ Samantha looked at me and I widened my eyes in terror about as much as I could. I did not want to separate from Samantha here. It was one thing to lecture by myself, but it was something else entirely to be watched over. Fortunately, Samantha saw, and turned back to her student. “No, thank you though, Rebecca. I think Percy could actually help a little with Harriet. They’ve become pretty close since he got here.” “Okay…” Rebecca replied with a little reluctance. I could tell she was disappointed, but another round of singing quickly stole my attention away from her as Samantha and I got closer to Harriet’s dorm room. “I had a little drink about…” Hiccup! “ago, and iss gone righ’ to my head! Oh! Wherever I may…” Hiccup! Samantha and I looked at each with a tremendously worried look and approached the open door that we knew led to Harriet’s room. We were unsure of what we would find in there, but we knew we had to stop her before something bad happened. “On land or see or… oh hey you guys!” As we entered the room, a clearly inebriated Harriet cheered us with a large dark glass bottle of some kind in her hands. Just entering the room, I could then see the clutter and the smashed items strewn all about in front of her. I also saw a small box in the corner of the room, but the pungent smell of alcohol quickly filled my nostrils and took my attention away from it. The smell of the booze seemed hard and cheap, and quickly explained the mess we were seeing of Harriet before us now. “Hey… Harriet.” Samantha tried to step into the room, but her foot really couldn’t go anywhere, so she just stepped down on an empty pizza box. “What’re you doing?” Harriet drunkenly grinned and cheered her former mentor. “Itsa party, teach! Can’t you tell?” Samantha was swayed away from her task and just moved closer. “Harriet… I’m worried about you… a lot of people are. What’s going on?” Harriet scoffed, but Samantha’s unrelenting stare wouldn’t budge an inch. “Fine, fine! I’ve just felt lost after I quit the hunter’s program, okay? Can’t figure out what to do with my life anymore. Itsa… well, it’s all been a big stupid waste!” She then giggled. “Waste… waste… that’sa funny word…” She giggled again. ‘Oh boy…’ I had seen this happen before with some of my friends in college and had even experienced it myself before. It was burnout and just being directionless in life afterward. She needed something more, but I wasn’t sure what she could need at this point. Being a Little though, I also felt my opinion might not have counted as much, so I just stuck by Samantha’s side as best I could. “Probably going to fail this semester… gotta do-over because of wha’… wha’ happened to my…” she paused and looked over to the box for a moment, before shaking her head. “Of what happened to my friends, you know?” Hiccup! She then giggled again. “Shit! Gotta love this stuff, huh?” She held up the bottle again in my direction and, unsure of what else to do, I just nodded. Samantha wasn’t having it though. “This isn’t you, Harriet. Come on. Put the bottle down and let’s get you sobered up.” Samantha then tried helping her up to her feet from the bed, but Harriet wasn’t having it either. “No!” Harriet backed away from her mentor and looked at her with venom in her eyes. “This place… all you taught me… Just one big, fat lie! You and everyone else here is a liar!” She chugged more from her bottle. “I’m gonna drop out tomorrow, because what the heck is the point of all…” she then gestured to the room and the academy outside, “all this? It’s pointless… a fricken waste!” “We help people, Harriet,” Samantha quickly tried to defend. “We help Littles find out what they want. We can give them a better life…” “Bull!” Harriet shot back. She then pointed directly toward me. “Percy here is a direct contradiction to that! Your own Little, Sam… and he was fine. I read the report. Lonely and isolated from others, but he had a life! And you and your sister juss… ripped that right out away from him!” She then took a final swig of the bottle and tossed it aside. “This whole stupid academy is just one big lie.” Samantha seemed stunned for a moment, but the gifted professor I had seen so much of in class was not about to just give up on her mentee and friend. “Things are changing though, Harriet. I’ve seen it firsthand. And, yes, I might have been wrong in taking Percy away, but now he lectures in my class. That’s progress. A Little lecturing here would have never happened a few years ago.” Harriet nodded slowly. “Maybe, but that’s one thing,” she emphasized with extending her index finger out to Samantha. “There’s so many other things out there now. Most things are juss gettin’ worse. I mean, you saw the milk. What is up with that? Tabers? They’re not even trying to hide it. Rearrange the letters and its plain as day! Porr Littles don’t even stand a chance!” I tried rearranging the letters in my head, but Harriet’s yelling and frantic pacing around the room now was making it very difficult. “You know,” she continued, pointing back at Samantha, “I did my homework like a good little student. Your case and the fact that you and your sister exceeded your orders… its actually very common. And it’s been happening for decades! There’s almost a thousand Littles here now!” ‘A thousand?’ My mind whirled with the number she just spat out. Sure, she was drunk, but Harriet’s facts and research always seemed to be reliable before. At the same time though, the daycare barely had more than 50 Littles if everyone actually showed up on the same day. I think at that moment, Harriet then caught my confusion. “Oh yeah, Percy. About a thousand by now. They’re not just here at the academy…” she then gestured all around her again. “They’re everywhere now. A lack of Littles is a global problem thanks to that stupid Height War.” She then turned back to Samantha. “So, yeah… been screwing Earth over for decades now! How’s that for progress for us?” Surprisingly, this time, Samantha had no response back. “No?” Harriet stumbled over to the corner of her room. “Well, let me tell you this further… we Bigs aren’t even any better off. We regress all the Littles down to brain dead shells and call it a good day at the cost of our own souls, or…” she then grabbed the box she had looked at before and I had questioned from her floor. “Or they just get reduced down after to one stupid… measly… little box…” Samantha and I stepped forward and crouched down. From my vantage and for the first time tonight, I didn’t see anger or sloppiness on Harriet’s face. Now, I only saw sadness… grief. In fact, a single tear rolled down her cheek as she stroked the box in her lap. Samantha edged closer. “Harriet… what’s in the box?” “You wanna know? Here!” She then drunkenly shoved it across the floor and right to my feet. It was a little heavy, but I managed to pick it up with both my hands and kind of balance it on my chest to get the lid open. Inside, were photos, stickers, buttons, a ribbon, and a few other bits and bobs. I looked back questioningly at my distraught friend. Tears were coming faster down her cheeks now, but I needed to know what all this was. “What is it, Harriet?” I asked gently. “It’s all that’s left… or all that I have left of my squad…” She then squeezed her eyes shut about as much as she could. Everything suddenly clicked into place about what was going on with her and why it happened today. A few sniffles and wipes of her eyes on her sleeves later, Harriet continued to explain. “The funeral was last weekend… and I went… their parents went… but that was it. Not even Reddington!” She wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Then today, their parents stopped by here and gave me this box. They had gone through all their kids’, my squad’s, stuff and thought I should keep this as a memento of them… it’s all I have of them now…” “But isn’t that a good thing? To have it I mean?” I asked. “Now you get to remember them as they were. Your friendship and the bond you all shared… you have a memento now.” “I know that, but… but…” Harriet didn’t seem to be able to make out the words. “But what, Harriet?” Samantha finally asked. “But I’m still here!” The dam finally broke once more, and we were getting to the heat of her problems. I so badly wanted to hug her right then, but I just held back and let her feeling pour out in front of us. “I was their leader. I led them into that trap and got them all killed. I should have died too!” I could see she was trying to fight back her surge of emotions as best she could, but it was a battle she was quickly losing. “They should have lived, and I should have died on that sand instead. I would give anything… anything! Just to change that.” I was in a state of shock over this. On the one hand, I shouldn’t have been surprised. My buddy Mike from back in college was in the army and lost a friend because they switched places in their vehicle one trip. A bomb exploded and killed his friend, but not him because of one small decision. So, I at least knew, if not directly, about what was happening to her, but this was also Harriet. She was always at the top of her class, steel against any problem she encountered, and even considered the best hunter since Reddington. But now… Samantha decided to take that time to try and help out her friend. “It’s not your fault, Harriet. Sometimes, these things happen, but you just have to pick yourself off the ground and move on. For them… you need to put one foot in front of the other and find what’s next.” For some, that might have been helpful, but I don’t think it was what Harriet needed right then. Her near Dr. Jekyll facial change confirmed my worry. “You don’t think I know that?” she spat back, her anger temporarily overriding her sadness. “Life sucks sometimes and we all have to move on. I know that! I don’t need another lecture on it by the great Professor Norris.” Samantha stepped back, but I could also see her mind ticking away over how to solve the problem still. “This whole place is just a big crock of lies! We don’t want to help Earth; we just want to get there faster and take one Little at a time for our own desires. We don’t spread out greatness to other worlds and dimensions! We only spread death, pain, and especially loss everywhere we go! And what do we have to show for it? Nothing but the entirety of our relationship with our friends reduced down to one silly stupid little box.” I could see Samantha was still at a loss of words for what to say next as Harriet once again slumped down on the floor. I felt I had a way forward, but I wasn’t sure if it would work. It wasn’t a cure… that wasn’t in my, or anyone else’s, power for a single night. That being said, maybe I could help my friend out just a little. I felt I just had to try at least. Now, normally, being a Little, I would have asked permission first while a Big, even Samantha, was in the room, but I felt that Harriet was the priority over any protocol tonight. After all, Samantha had already tried to help, but we just ended up right back where we were before. So, I figured the worst I could do was about the same. “Harriet?” “Stop, Percy,” Samantha said forcefully to me as I stepped forward toward the tear-soaked Big in front of me. I quickly tuned around. “Please, Sam… let me just try. Please?” Samantha seemed more hesitant than ever, but she just silently nodded. I turned back to Harriet and sat down next to her where she could still see me. With a deep breath out, I began. “I’m really sorry, Harriet. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I just want to say that I’m sorry.” Tear-soaked and even with snot dripping from her nose and smelling like a brewery, Harriet still woefully turned to me. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you…” “You really don’t have to… I mean, if you want and you think it might help, I won’t stop you, but I’m okay.” I then looked over to Samantha, who also gave me a little prodding to continue, obviously seeing that my approach might just be working a little better than the one she had. “This family… you all have been so wonderful to me… this world needs more Bigs like you all… please, Harriet. Don’t quit and let all the others win. Speaking for all the other Littles, we need more people like you out there.” A lightbulb seemed to go off right above Harriet’s head. “You’re right… geez, you’re actually right,” but the look didn’t last. “But wait… hold up… what am I supposed to do here now? I can’t go back to being a hunter… not after…” she trailed off and looked at the box that Samantha had set down beside her on the bed. “Okay… fair enough. Hmmm…” I then thought hard about all the positions. Honestly, recruiter suited her pretty well, but then I thought of one other position that just might work for her. “What about recruiter?” Harriet’s face suddenly contorted as if she had just smelled a fart. “You mean like the rest of the family? Me? A recruiter? I don’t know Percy… I just… well, I don’t see it…” “But why not?” I quickly asked back. “You seem to want to help other people find happiness. I see that as a recruiter’s job.” “That’s a Littles way of thinking, Percy. Recruiters are there to benefit this society,” she said, her curiosity and seeming joy over my initial suggestion quickly fading. “That’s how other do it though,” I shot back. I felt I was on a role, so I just pushed ahead. “You see a broken system, but I know Earth. Take it from me when I say that there are people in pain over there… people who would give almost anything at a shot at a better life… even this one as someone’s Little.” I could see the gears start to click in Harriet’s head and the smile start to form on Samantha’s face. I knew I was striking at something here, so I continued quickly before Harriet had a chance to find something wrong with my on-the-spot logic. “You’re right that there are recruiters who just take any Littles because we’re all the same to them. But think about your experience. You’ve seen firsthand the Littles who actually benefit from this life. I think the best recruiters find the needy and desperate on Earth, and then bring them back here with a shot at a better life. That could be you…” I could see her mind working overtime to process all this new information. I wasn’t sure how people chose their positions around here, but I knew I had to slam this idea into her as best I could. “I think you would be a great recruiter, Harriet, I really do. You said you wanted to see a change in this system? Well, be the change and help two societies out. The pained in mine and the longing in yours.” Samantha then stepped up. “He’s right, Harriet. You were my mentee, and while I always respected your decision to become a hunter, I saw the makings of a great recruiter in you. Reddington is a great hunter, and you are too, but you have compassion where that man just has grit. You judge and see the true value of others and help them out when you can. This past year has only further showed that to everyone around you.” “But I’m about to graduate…” Harriet said, suddenly panicking. I felt she was truly starting to see herself as a recruiter but could see the fringes of where it all could suddenly fall apart. “Hmmm…” Samantha mused. “that’s true, but you are a good student. There’s still time in this semester to get your grades up. If you’re willing to do the work, I think I can pull some strings in the academy and make this happen if you want.” Harriet seemed to ponder the notion while Samantha and I waited on the big with bated breath. Finally, I think Samantha just wanted an answer but also wanted her mentee to succeed in whatever she did next. “This is completely up to you… no one will force you to do anything, but you have an opportunity here.” She then got up and handed the box back to Harriet. Harriet took it with trembling fingers. “What happened was a tragedy, but I think from all the stories you told me about your team, none of them ever saw you as not willing to try something, right?” Harriet slowly nodded her head. “Good. So now, all I’m asking you is to try this one other thing. As Percy said, you see a problem here, then be that change. So, what do you think?” Harriet paused for a moment longer, but after a good long look at the box in her hands of the only remnant of her team and friendship that she had, she looked back up. “I’ll do it.” It was a moment of happiness followed by the utter panic of everything that now had to happen to make this new future of hers a possibility. It was a long night sobering her up and cleaning her destructive path before we came, but we finally got it done and got her to sleep. Immediately the next morning, Samantha made the calls she needed and had Harriet appear before the dean right after lunch. Since we had a free period today, we came up to support her. After a few intense moments of waiting outside the dean’s office, I clutched Samantha’s hand in anticipation of what was to happen next. “You think she got in?” Samantha nodded. “I do, but all this going to be on her… we can always be there to help her though.” I nodded and smiled back, satisfied that we had done something good together, but it seemed that Samantha wanted to say something more. She finally did. “I was wrong…” “What?” Her sentiment came out of nowhere and I was very confused to what she was referring to. “Before… you said she needed a friend the night after the bad mission… I was wrong when I said she needed to be alone,” Samantha said with a little shame. “Uh… I could have been wrong,” I said truthfully. “You had the experience…” “But you had the idea of what she really needed after something like that. I shouldn’t have dismissed your idea,” she admitted. “Even last night… I should have trusted you more. Harriet has a long road ahead and we’re going to get her some counseling as well with all this, but you gave her a path forward. That’s not nothing… you should be proud of yourself.” I was about to speak, but the doors to our left soon opened and the secretary led us both back into the dean’s office. There, to our clear relief, Harriet was all smiles. “I got in!” “Yes,” the dean noted with a smile but still stern tone, “but it will require a lot of work on your part. You have a rigorous time before you, but I truly hope you do succeed.” With that, Harriet then signed on the dotted line with the official transfer document. Once the ink dried, Harriet would officially be part of the recruiting section of the academy. Everyone waiting back at Oppy’s house with a surprise party for were going to be so thrilled. As everyone shook hands and hugged above me, I knew that Samantha was right. I should be proud of myself. I felt it in my bones, and I had helped out a friend in need. Unlike the pride I had felt in telling my stories to the Bigs though, I felt this was a better pride. It was one that helped someone out rather than a pride that only served my own well-being. It was a good feeling, and I just hoped it would last. As I saw Judge Franklin peek in briefly with the other judges to congratulate Harriet on her new path here, I wasn’t sure how much hope I could muster though.

Hope you survived your trip with no major problems. I’m experienced at traveling while incontinent and know it can be a challenge, especially on your first trip.

Problems after surgery that I've also seen in both my surgeries happening in the US? Wow, imagine that! (I don't have to - I've been to the local ER for the same issue for much, much less involved procedures. It's an easily predictable and treatable complication. But that isn't NEARLY as snarky, is it?) It's *almost* like those were known issues that Reddy mentioned he was aware of. You know, almost like a competent adult individual making a decision while knowing the very real risks involved! Imagine that! I'm so glad @Reddy has been willing to share so much - it's *exactly* reactions like this that led to me not bothering to mention what i was doing to others when I had my procedure. I'm beyond amazed most peoples' reactions have fallen somewhere between "concerned yet curious" to "supportive yet intrigued." This procedure is a serious matter. It has VERY real risks. I've said the entire time (well, I did until multiple threads were deleted because of "helpful" comments like this) that this is something most people probably shouldn't pursue. And I'd love nothing more than to have a fully above-board option for this. In the meanwhile, we work with the options we have - and I'm glad to hear @Reddy's doing alright. It's never fun to see complications, even expected and predictable ones. But for anyone reading this and thinking about doing it themselves - this is part of the package deal. It's not like the stories. It's a serious procedure, with serious risks. And yet, I do believe there are several people out there who would still benefit from it.

My first attempt at abdl fiction, as the story mainly revolves around a male student and his female teacher. Wanted to create a realistic scenario that resembled a dream fantasy of mine that pushed realism to its limits while showing how abdl play can help out people in real life. Depending on demand and reactions would be open to adding more chapters but also think it does wrap up nicely after only 2. Thanks for reading. A Leep of Faith Chapter 1 Mike’s Fateful Accident It was a crisp autumn afternoon in a small rural midwest town , where the colorful leaves danced in the gentle breeze. Mike Masters, was a well liked fairly popular student, he had a slender thin build yet excelled at wide receiver for the school football team. Mike took pride being a diligent hard working student athlete enrolled as an 8th grader at the prestigious Sunny Hills Junior High. His main source of diligence had always been his secret crush, his vibrant 7th period English teacher, Ms. Leeper. Her cheerful demeanor and nurturing nature had captured Mike's heart from the moment he stepped into her classroom. Lucky for him she was also his 8th period home room teacher, which meant he got to end each day, entranced by her aura, for two whole hours. Ms. Leeper’s vibrant natural curly hazel hair always lit up her classroom and beautifully complimented her curvy figure and helped shape out her perfectly buoyant chest. She recently had just sent her two daughters away to college on the east coast to be closer to their Dad who was trying to make amends for putting his furniture business “Sals Sofas” before his marriage and kids when their daughters were real young. What once started as a way to create opportunity for their marriage and family’s future created a black void across it, which in turn tore a huge hole in Ms. Leepers heart that was unrepairable. Even shortly after her painful divorce, she knew it was important for her daughters to have a loving father figure in their life and luckily after a few years, her ex had started being just that as the girls began nearing high school age. Through all the devastating heart break of missing her daughters, she continued to always exude warmth and kindness to her students. She saw great potential in Mike early on and appreciated his eagerness to learn, often singling him out as a leader in the class, something he developed quickly from his success on the football field. She had always wanted a son of her own, but after her divorce when the girls were only 2 and 3 years old her dreams of having a special little boy faded away quickly. Mike, in turn, loved his parents and they had a pretty good relationship but since he had begun to show a rapidly rising maturity level, they both had started working night shifts at the local Kraft factory to increase their salaries. This consequently meant they never got to spend much time together as a family anymore. They took on the challenge of the night shifts not strictly for money but also out of love and wanting to provide a decent house and car for Mike in the future. This however was never requested by him and he knew he would never grieve over not having the best car or house, he simply wanted to be close to his parents and be able to confide in somebody 100% trustworthy. Due to these new circumstances, he began shifting those feelings towards his teacher and looked forward to each day at school, eager to pull up a chair and bathe in Ms. Leeper's light. One day, after finishing his English work ahead of schedule, Ms. Leeper entrusted Mike with additional responsibilities. He was to assist Mrs. Sunny, a friend and co-worker of hers, who had left for the day to lead her students and toddlers to go visit the nearby high school’s advanced training program, in cleaning up and organizing the preschool room after a wild and crazy morning. Their junior high preschool room was an educational launch pad for students who wanted to begin to learn and develop child care skills. This was done as toddlers were dropped off daily from parents, taking full advantage of free childcare by the schools students, under Mrs. Sunny’s helpful and guided supervision. Mike had always been busy with football and numerous advanced academic subjects and had actually never entered this seemingly daycare like room. As he slowly creaked opened the door a wave of nostalgia washed over him. He was greeted by bright fluorescent lights shining upon ninja turtle toys, legos, puzzles, and a surprising sight – a large bright yellow changing table stacked with a single Mickey Mouse pull-up and several larger toddler sized diapers. Memories of his childhood desires to be babied resurfaced instantly as Mike gazed at the changing table in wonderment. He had always harbored a secret yearning to be free of responsibility, to be cared for without judgment, a stark contrast to his hard and rigorous after school football practices and summer two a days. The thought of being back in diapers, a symbol of innocence and carefree days, stirred a mix of excitement and shame within him. Mike was very surprised to come to the conclusion the pull-up and large toddler sized diapers appeared to be the same size of his white athletic Adidas brand spandex brief undies. He quickly snapped out of this day dream he was in and was driven by a surge of determination. He threw himself into the task of cleaning the preschool room with unparalleled zeal. He scrubbed, sprayed, and rearranged the furniture at the same speed he ran his wide receiver cone drills, transforming the space into a sparkling haven for the younger children, and older student mentors. Exhausted from his efforts combined with the lingering and dizzying chemical fumes of the cleaning supplies, Mike decided to take a brief snooze on one of the soft nap mats. He thought it was well deserved and justified since he was now once again ahead of his scheduled tasks. Some time after, around 5:00 pm Ms. Leeper was busy grading around 120 English tests in her classroom. Suddenly she realized the final school bell had long ago tolled and that Mike had not bid her goodbye as he usually did at the end of the day amid the craziness of final period. Concerned, she hurried to the preschool room to check on him. Upon discovering him curled up on a toddler nap mat, she couldn't help but smile at his innocent slumber. She giggled at the site of him laid up on his tummy, his head to his side with the his thumb tucked into his mouth. It was a cute but slightly shocking sight to her given his age, fully unaware that this was a habit of Mike’s, he had recently developed involuntarily during his sleep, as a way to deal with his new found loneliness at home. She was instantly convinced he had given her 110% effort again for the day, as nobody she knew could sleep through the high pitched siren of the final bell and students exiting the school like herded zoo animals, unless they were dead tired from exhaustion. However, her smile quickly faded as she slowly rolled him from his stomach onto his back and noticed a wide dark stain had spread across the front of Mike's grey sweatpants. The stain had also spread slowly up his body like the horror cult classic “the blob” and eventually grew so big it went past his waist band and into the mid section of his baby blue nike swoosh shirt. Ms. Leeper quickly knew it was evident that he had lost control due to the exhaustion caused by his intense cleaning spree. He had indeed peed his pants like a preschool toddler boy while sleeping. Ms. Leeper’s heart started brimming with compassion along with a small amount of guilt, for delivering the task of cleaning, to her star student. She felt the need to make up for her error in judgment and, gently roused Mike from his slumber. After a few seconds he slowly came to and acknowledged the accident by immediately snatching his wet pants like a fumbled football on the ground, as he teared up and started murmuring “I’m sorry” over and over again. With the school nurse's office closed now and all the students gone from the building for the day, Ms. Leeper sprang into action, utilizing the diaper changing supplies in the daycare room to tend to Mike's needs. She escorted him to the bright yellow wooden changing table. While approaching the table she assured him everything would be okay, then swiftly turned back to him while tapping the table twice saying “Okay you can get fully undressed and hop up here Mr. Mike Masters.” Mike began to tremble at the thought of being fully exposed to his radiant secret crush, but his options were limited. He slowly started to try to peel down his pee stained undies and sweatpants as they clung to his baby soft skin like a thick orange peel on a hot summer day. Ms. Leeper reassured him that her girls were once young and this wasn’t her first rodeo for situations like this. As she calmly whispered to him, “Accidents like this happen even to good boys like you maybe not as old you but they still happen.” Ms. Leeper meticulously grabbed 3 pampers baby scented wipes, in an attempt to eradicate the urine particles off his skin, then some cooled pink baby lotion was applied and finally topped off by a small mushroom cloud of baby powder. Ms. Leeper quickly spotted a green Rocky Paw Patrol shirt left behind from this mornings class. It fortunately had an XXL toddler size tag popping out from below the back collar. She sat Mike up briefly and as his long legs dangled from the table nearly touching the white tile floor she held it up to his chest. “Looks like it will be a tad snug but with your slight frame it should still fit and definitely will be better than wearing that,” as she pointed to his pee stained nike shirt crumpled up in the corner. As Ms. Leeper laid him back down and grabbed the last 5T-6T Mickey Mouse pull-up she attempted to also stretch it out for him, in a moment of misfortune her perfectly manicured teal nails tore the thin hip tapes by accident. Almost all of the potty training preschoolers were using these pull-ups to help prevent messy accidents and there were now no more left, Ms. Leeper had no choice but to opt instead for the Sesame Street size 8 Pampers baby diapers overflowing from the woven yarn constructed diaper bin organizer. Mike, caught in a reverie, felt a surge of arousal at the unexpected turn of events. Ms. Leeper's warm smile and understanding demeanor calmed his embarrassment, instilling a sense of security in him. She softly instructed him to lift his legs and slid an Elmo themed diaper underneath his freshly powdered bum. The softness in which he felt, as he traversed his backside slowly downwards on top of the diaper, shot waves of emotion and excitement everywhere. The strong pampers scent swirled within his nostrils like the smell of grapes for a wine tasting expert exploring the Italian countryside. Ms. Leeper whimsically undid both tapes stretched them out as wide as they possibly would go and secured them forcibly upon Mike’s inner thigh section and to the front of Elmos tangled furry red cheeks. In nothing but a paw patrol shirt and a pampers diaper she grabbed his hand again and guided him to the full sized red bordered mirror by the wash station across the room. Standing in front of the mirror, Mike was met with the immediate reflection of an Elmo diaper peeking out from under his tight small shirt, a stark reminder of his vulnerability. Ms. Leeper, recognizing his need for comfort and care, gently reassured him all his friends and multiple ex-girlfriends of the past had long left school for the day and she had texted his football coach letting him know he had a sudden illness in class and would have to miss practice per school policy. Ms. Leeper on top of everything else eloquently manufactured a plan to escort Mike to her house first to retrieve some tom boyish clothes from her daughter’s room and then would escort him back home by dinner. From there he would have plenty of time before his parents arrived home from work to wash away his bedwetting evidence. As they glided down the road in her Toyota Sienna, it felt like more of a ride on a white fluffy cloud of relief. Ms. Leeper peered at Mike through her rearview mirror and couldn’t help but plant a seed of an idea. She asked him quizzically, if he wanted to start spending Satudays with her in the preschool room, and become her special "boy" allowing them to extend this secret bond between eachother. As her favorite student she wanted to ensure his accident wouldn’t deter his confidence and drive. In fact she wanted to reward him in a sense and make this bond unbreakable. As Ms. Leeper's words sunk in like a heavy wet mud to Mike’s brain, he felt a mix of emotions swirling inside him. The promise of acceptance and understanding from his beloved teacher overshadowed the lingering embarrassment of his accident. In that moment, what made him shyly murmur yes was, he found solace in the notion of being cared for, and being seen finally without judgment, all of which would come directly from his favorite teacher, it was truly a dream come true! And so, born from the quiet confines of the preschool room and due to a sopping wet bed wetting accident, a lustful bond blossomed between Mike and Ms. Leeper. A bond built on trust, understanding, and a shared secret that tied them together in a world of innocence and unconditional acceptance. As the school day faded into twilight and he waddled from her garage to inside her house for a pair of jeans and a new shirt that fit, the promise of a new beginning lingered in the air, shrouded in mystery and possibility. Chapter 2 Trust Tested As late fall slowly turned into winter, what started as a simple agreement for Mike to spend his Saturdays at the school daycare under Ms. Leeper's care. Gradually transformed into a journey of trust, acceptance, and a special kind of nurturing love. Ms. Leeper, with her warm smile and gentle demeanor, showered Mike with the kind of affection and care usually reserved for a herculean mother and son bond. Each weekend brought a plethora of fun activities – from coloring sessions to board games, and even action figures that took on a life of their own in the imaginative space they shared. But it was glaringly obvious the act of potty training regression back into the world of baby diapers was what truly defined their bond. The Sesame Street pampers, with their cheerful characters, became a symbol of safety and security for Mike. After his first accident and changing session they both understood diapering him was the catalyst for their arrangement to thrive. Knowing that he could let go of his bladder without worry, feeling the soft diaper gently expand against his skin when he did, the slight hint of urine and baby powder in the air, brought a sense of comfort that transcended the physical realm. To Mike, these weekend days were more than just moments of play; they were a sanctuary where he could be himself without fear of judgment, a place where he felt truly felt accepted and cared for. Mike's parents would drive and drop him off every Saturday morning to Sunny Hills. After arriving home from their night shifts at Kraft around 8am, the timing worked out well and the drive provided them a perfect opportunity for them to catch up with stories from their days. Ms. Leeper and Mike had also brilliantly convinced them, that these Saturday sessions were extra tutoring opportunities to help Mike excel in his education and increase his chances of any an Ivy League football scholarship . And in a way, they were, Ms. Leeper understood Mike's deep-seated desire to be treated like a toddler, free from the pressures and expectations of his peers and parents. Making him study on Saturdays would destroy that instantly, and he was already well ahead in school completing honors level high school assignments. This therapy during the time they shared, helped him conquer his biggest obstacle which was a rare but seemingly random and extremely debilitating social anxiety. This grew from harboring a deep secret he was unable to share until now. As an 8th grade student trying to lead his peers and find an important place in life, Mike found solace in the compassionate embrace of his teacher and he began to dominate his mental health like an undersized cornerback. He at once finally felt more at peace and a huge sense of relief, that somebody else finally knew who he really was and fully embraced him for it. As the weeks passed, their bond deepened, and on this particular Saturday morning in mid December, they had their first real challenge that would test the limits of their relationship. A lingering discomfort from a big pre game meal of tacos, stirred in Mike's stomach. As he gritted through the concerning pain, they opted to watch "Monsters Inc." together. Mike placed two cozy nap mats together like KitKat bars, in the middle of the classroom. Curled up in his Cookie Monster diaper and a bright red t-shirt, exhaustion crept over Mike from a hard fought friday night football game. As he yawned heavily and drifted off to sleep during the first act of the movie, a dream soon unfolded, blending the realms of reality and his subconscious fears. In this dream, he stood before his classmates and fellow teammates, delivering a history presentation, only to feel a familiar unsettling rumble in his stomach. As a George Washington portrait stared back at him from his presentation slide, a wave of panic washed over Mike, as his knees nervously buckled and a small brown turd made its presence known poking out between his toned cheeks. Desperate for a break, his pleas were met with stern rejection from his history teacher Mrs. Wolf, forcing him to continue as his howling discomfort slowly started to slide out of his butt and began steadily filling his tight white undies like a locomotive, building up speed from it’s starting position. The humiliation reached its peak as the pressure in his stomach became so powerful he was forced to fall to his knees and poop rapidly began avalanching from his seemingly numb rectum. The brown tidal wave started seeping out of his undies and sliding down his legs like a spit ball on a class room window. The aroma in the air alongside the large dark brown stains popping up like gophers, on his light faded blue jeans, gave his classmates a clear indication of what had transpired. In matrix like slow motion, they all began pointing and laughing, as the shame engulfed him and beads of sweat and tears trickled down his face. Seemingly paralyzed with fear, he tried his hardest to stand and run out the room like he was performing a 40 yard dash, but his knees felt as if they were glued to the classroom floor. In the midst of this distressing dream, Ms. Leeper's voice cut through the chaos, gently shaking him awake. Her soft words carried concern as she suspected that Mike had indeed fully soiled his Cookie Monster pamper involuntarily. With a mix of embarrassment and fear, Mike crawled on all fours to her left side as she confirmed the messy reality. Pulling down the purple waistband of his diaper, it was instantly obvious what Mike had done. Caught off guard by the magnitude of the situation, Ms. Leeper's initial shock gave way to a stern demeanor as she directed Mike to stand by the changing table. She thought to herself briefly what a mess. Her fear was that he was now fully on track to becoming regressed behind his control. This was of course something she anticipated but never thought would truly happen. The unforeseen turn of events sparked a mix of emotions in both teacher and student. It was one thing for Mike to have a common bedwetting accident but not being able to control his bowels to the point of filling his diaper with poop was a major concern. Mike, overwhelmed by her reaction, began to cry, pleading for forgiveness and expressing his remorse. Ms. Leeper, with a slight sarcastic grin and new found deeper understanding of the situation, realized the extent to which Mike had regressed before her eyes. She saw the vulnerability and trust he had placed in her, a responsibility she didn't take lightly and wanted to reciprocrate. In a bid to guide Mike through this poignant moment, Mrs. Leeper decided to create an experience that would challenge and transform him further. She painstakingly lead him from the changing table to the large red mirror once again. She dragged a small coloring table nearby, and then emphasized how dangerous it would be to regress past a toddler age and into infant status. She sternly asked him through the mirror reflection “Are you my special little boy or are you a baby with a poop filled smelly diaper?” Her words echoed in the room as she proclaimed once again that big boys don't have poopy accidents, and that this was something only helpless babies did. She then asked if she needed to call his parents asap and suggest putting him in diapers for the whole week. Mike's tears and nervous excitement went into complete overdrive as he strained his voice and yelled out NOOOoooo Ms. Leeper… each syllable slightly muted by his sniffles and the wet snot seeping out of his nose. But his protests fell on deaf ears as his reality became a cascade of conflicting emotions – embarrassment, shame, and a deep sense of surrender, as Ms. Leeper bent him over the coloring table and gave two stern but rather gentle swats to his soiled diaper. The warmth and mush of his sudden mishap caressed his white silky butt. He hadn’t recalled this exact feeling since he was an actual prospective toddler learning to conquer the trials of pottytraining. His increased arousal became glaringly obvious as a tent shaped bulge protruded out from the front of his soggy pamper distorting Cookie Monsters face and giving him an even more cross eyed look. Feeling the weight of his actions, and his tears cascading his cheekbones, Mike found himself in a identity situation that blurred the lines between an over achieving student, star athlete, bright eyed toddler and utterly helpless baby. Ms. Leeper, with a mix of compassion and authority, guided him through this wonderment, unraveling layers of emotions that had long been suppressed within him. She proceeded to give him two more forceful swats which caught him completely off guard again resulting in a complete loss of his bladder as well. As he stood in the classroom bent over a preschool coloring table crying, the sounds of his sobs were overtaken by the loud hissing of his urine from his fully erect penis, splashing less then a centimeter away, from the inner lining of his snug sagging pamper. A slight trickle, followed by large multiple yellow streams, began rushing down his smooth slender legs. His Cookie Monster diaper had reached its capacity and was no longer able to contain his complete loss of control. This was in stark contrast to the night before where he was in complete control and scored 3 touchdowns, while leading his team to a dominate win against rival Lincoln Land Prep to a tune of 54-10. Ms. Leeper set aside her amazement, softly grabbed his hand and whispered it’s okay Mike babies have accidents and I think that is just who you now are for today, but lets make an effort to really try next week to poop on the potty. This was the ultimate acceptance, his diaper was as heavy, wet, and soiled as it could get it and she still at the end of the day loved him and wanted what was best for him. With stylized grace she gently guided him to the changing table as he popped his thumb in his mouth and put his head down for the entire short journey. As they neared the table she squatted down and lifted him up onto the bright yellow rubber ducky decorated changing mat. More poop squeezed against his skin like play-doh on a newly waxed garage floor. She softly pulled back his thumb from his pouty lips and replaced it with a pacifier that said Mommy in bright blue and white font. Mike had now surrendered completely to the vulnerability of the moment. The sensation of being wiped clean from his poopy accident, the soothing touch of lotion on his now pristine skin, triggered a flood of sensations he had never experienced before and was heightened to a nirvana like sense. As Ms. Leeper smiled softly while grabbing a Big Bird diaper, she realized these were the super thick overnight pampers, and would give Mike a sense of reassurance that it contain another major accident. In that moment of vulnerability and acceptance, he realized the depth of their connection, transcending the roles of teacher and student. Ms. Leeper's promise and drive to always care for her favorite boy resonated in the air, carrying a sense of understanding and unconditional love. In the quiet confines of the school daycare, amidst the toys and the faint scent of baby powder, a bond had been forged – one that embraced the complexities of trust, acceptance, and the beauty of vulnerability. The sound of her pulling back the velcro tapes of his new diaper, followed by her clamping his two ankles together with one hand and lifting his white coated butt so she could slide the diaper underneath him, sent shockwaves through his nervous system. The fully erect part of Mike’s body pulled and recoiled back like a war cannon as it proceeded to shoot a slimy cloudy white missile straight into the sky. As Mike felt his whole body become numb while simultaneously feeling pleasure everywhere, his self shot missile came straight back down to earth, landing on his belly and creating the appearance of a mini bowl of slimy soup. Ms. Leeper bent over the front of the changing mat, gasping with a hand over her mouth covering up the slight grin that had started to form. Knowing she had indeed stirred up his desires to a point he was able to lose control of another bodily fluid was a moment she knew neither of them would ever forget. She grabbed one more wipe cleaned up the soup bowl and securely fastened his thicker Big Bird diaper. As he stared up at her with his back laid on the changing mat their day unfortunately started to draw to an end. Mike and Ms. Leeper hoped to carry forward a connection that would continue to shape their lives, and expand this motherly love that knew no bounds.

And now we take a brief side trip to the AB: Sitter series to follow our distressed baby girls. ---- 9 Ava – Monserrat Emergency Services The ABDU undergraduate library was a haven of warm wooden panels, natural light, and book smell. Monserrat was enjoying a rare moment of studying within the bounds of her hectic life. It wasn’t enough to be an engineering student; she also had to play sports. On top of both, she had a highly demanding job for her ABDL clients and an equally demanding ABDL wife named Jenna – or Jenny, depending on how Little she was feeling. Of all of those, Monserrat’s wife was the priority. Picking a second priority was tricky, however. It wasn’t always clear if excelling in school or her job supported Monserrat’s priorities the best. At the moment, she was dealing with the unwelcome feeling of struggling in her Basic Architectural Principles class. So much so that when an urgent request came through her work app – for a prior client at that – Monserrat hit decline without even looking at the name. No sooner had she turned back to studying the formula for the strength of an arch than her phone buzzed again. The same client had upgraded their request to an emergency. Rolling her eyes, Monserrat deigned to read the client’s name. Brianna Rasmussen. Damn. Her mom is why I can flex my class times to whatever I need. Can’t exactly turn down a red alert from her. “This is Monserrat.” Monserrat tried to pitch her voice low and got a few annoyed looks from her fellow students for answering a call in the study center. With a sigh, Monserrat threw her book in her backpack and headed for the nearest exit. “Monserrat? It’s Briana Rasmussen. Thank you so much for picking up.” Briana sounded seriously distressed. “You have a babysitting emergency?” Monserrat shouldered out the exit door into a beautiful spring day. Part of her wished she could have finished studying – another part was glad to be out of the library and into the sun. Saving some baby girls would be a bonus on top of that. “Yes, it’s an emergency. My girlfriend got hurt and had an accident. The EMTs just left, but we need a babysitter for the second part.” “EMTs? Briana, are you sure you need me? Should you be at the hospital?” “Ava won’t go to the hospital; she says they can’t help, and she looks much better. But she had a potty accident, and she’s really sad.” Briana had started out sounding Big, but she was getting more Little in tone by the second. “Please, Monchi, Mom and Dad are in a big meeting. We need the best babysitter ever.” Monserrat chuckled. “Well, you called the best babysitter ever. I'll be there in five minutes if you’re at the map pin you sent with your request.” Excited Little girl noises followed. Monserrat indulged Briana until she reached her car. Verbally prying the Little girl off the phone was accomplished by the simple method of promising that they could, in fact, have cookies. After an ambulance-worthy injury, providing cookies was the least Monserrat was prepared to spoil the girls. ~~~*~~~ There was no ambulance with the Little girls when Monserrat arrived, but a police car was parked next to the little bus stop they’d taken shelter in. Monserrat parked behind the officer, stepping out of her white SUV to survey the scene. They were in the downtown center, surrounded by picturesque buildings alternating between red brick and colonial white. Happily, there wasn’t too much of an audience – just a few onlookers peering over from a few buildings down. An Indian girl that Monserrat presumed was Ava was sitting on the ground in a gray sweatsuit with a wet patch on her crotch. A pair of brace crutches sat neatly next to her. She looked miserable. Briana was surprisingly all in black, including some dramatic gothic makeup that had made tear trails down her cheeks. She was addressing the police officer, who was listening with a surprisingly deferential expression. “He pushed her right over, even though he could see that she was on crutches. He wanted to hurt her, Officer.” Briana drew herself up to her full five-foot-nothing. “And I did not like that! My mom and dad aren’t going to like it either when I tell them. Neither is my aunt or my grandma. The whole Rasmussen family will be upset about this and want that man found.” Despite Briana's childish, almost petulant tone, the police officer tipped his hat to her. “I hear you loud and clear, Miss. I will radio this report straight to the Captain; he asked to be notified.” “Thank you, Officer…” Briana went up on tiptoe to get a better look at the policeman’s name badge. “Jameson. You’ve been a big help. I won’t forget, and I’ll make sure to tell my family how good a policeman you are.” “I appreciate that, Miss Rasmussen.” The policeman looked over Briana at Monserrat as she approached. “Ma’am, can I help you?” Briana turned and grinned at Monserrat, throwing herself into a hug around Monchi’s waist. “This is Monserrat, Officer, she’s a friend. She’s going to take Ava and me home.” “That’s good to hear. I'm pleased to meet you, ma’am.” The officer’s manner was polite to the point of obsequiousness. As a woman of color, Monserrat didn’t know how to handle it. She’d had interactions with the police before, but never as remotely polite as her current situation. The most Monserrat could manage was a polite nod back. “Let’s get you taken care of,” Monserrat said to Briana. “Can you introduce me to Ava?” Monserrat put him and his manner out of her mind, with the policeman heading back to his car. She knelt by Ava and held out her hand. “Ava, this is Monserrat. Monserrat, this is Ava. She’s my girlfriend, and she’s feeling Little and had the worst, scariest day ever.” Briana plopped down next to Ava and put an arm around the anxious-looking girl. “Hi, Monserrat.” Ava had more than Littlespace nervousness on her face. She’d had a genuine scare and looked defeated on top of the rest of it all. Simply shaking Monserrat’s hand looked like it took a lot of bravery. “Hi, Ava.” Monserrat took Ava’s hand in both hers, making it as warm a handshake as possible. “The first thing to do is to get you girls somewhere more comfortable than this.” “We can go to my house!” Briana nodded excitedly, but Monserrat caught Ava wincing. “Ava is the one who had the extra bad day, so I think she should decide.” Monserrat put a finger to Briana’s lips when she tried to protest. “Ava, would you like to go to Briana’s house? I can also take you back to your house or my house. I know Briana’s house has some supplies for babysitting, and mine does, too. I’m not sure how yours is set up.” “Is your house – do you live alone?” Ava asked, her lip trembling. “No, sweetie. My wife and my roommates live with me.” “What’s wrong with my house?” Briana whined, sounding hurt. “Briana, you’re not helping your friend right now. Please let her decide.” Monserrat fixed Briana with a stern look, much to the Little girl’s surprise. “I don’t want people to – see me like this,” Ava said softly. “Is it okay if we go to my apartment? Briana can come too.” “Of course it is.” Monserrat stroked both Little girls’ hair. “I can see you two don’t want to be separated. Ava, is it alright if I pick you up and put you in my car?” Ava looked at her crutches, sighed bitterly, and nodded. “Yeah.” “I asked because I don’t touch people without asking if it’s okay,” Monserrat said, scooping Ava up. Though she had half a foot on Briana at least, Ava was as light in Monserrat’s arms as Briana had been. “I like carrying around the girls I babysit. It makes them feel more Little, I think.” Ava blushed, clinging to Monserrat until she was set down in the back of the SUV. Briana hopped in on her own, carrying Ava’s crutches. Monserrat stowed both girl’s backpacks in the cargo area before climbing into the backseat with them. “Um, Monchi, how will you drive from back here?” Briana asked. “Ava needs to be cleaned up first.” Monserrat reached over Briana to pull an opaque privacy screen over the window, going around the back of the car window by window until they were all blacked out. She clicked the dome light on and finished sealing off the back of the SUV with a small fold-out screen inset into the driver’s seat. “Y-y-you’re going to change me right here?” Ava whimpered. “If you let me. It’s private enough with the screens down.” “But when we get out, I’ll be in a diaper.” Ava’s shy whisper and the fact that she assumed she’d be put in a diaper lowered Monserrat’s assessment of the girl’s mental age. “I have some emergency skirts I keep on hand in case I have to rescue a Little girl. There won’t be anything for people to see.” Monserrat stroked Ava’s cheek, lowering the girl’s seat back until it was almost flat. “Be a good girl and lie back, okay?” “Monserrat’s a good babysitter; she was extra nice to me when I had a bad nightmare about Melody.” Briana took Ava’s hand. Ava looked comforted but was throwing nervous glances at Briana, too. “Would you rather that Briana not watch you get changed?” An immediate nod from Ava answered Monserrat’s question. Monchi reached into her rescue bag, pulling out a beanie. It was far too big for Briana’s tiny head at regular size. That made it perfect for pulling over the Little girl’s eyes. “Monchi!” Briana giggled. “Be a good girl, Briana. Leave that hat where it is, but keep holding Ava’s hand.” Finally comfortable, Ava smiled weakly and lay flat. Monserrat popped the Little girl’s shoes off, followed by her sweats. They were wetter than they looked, and poor Ava’s panties were soaked up to the waistband. She was visibly happy to get them off and didn’t seem to mind having a changing blanket scooted under her butt. Ava closed her eyes and relaxed as Monserrat wiped her clean. She was so relaxed that she dribbled a bit on the changing blanket. Monserrat didn’t say a word. The extra liquid was as easy to clean up as Ava’s spindly legs were to lift. Cleaning Ava’s rear segued perfectly into slipping a diaper under her rear. A bit of lotion and powder didn’t generate any protests. Monserrat kept the products light in case Ava wasn’t a fan of one or the other. With the Little girl snugly diapered, Monserrat lifted the seat and Ava together, ending with the girl in her arms for a hug. Ava was trembling again, but it seemed to be from intense emotion rather than anxiety. Monserrat kissed the darling girl atop her head. “You’re such a good girl, Ava. I’m going to put a skirt on you, then buckle you and Briana up. While I’m getting the window screens up, your only job will be to tell me your address and snuggle with Briana, alright?” “Okay, Monchi.” Fully Littled-out, Ava was as pliable as any girl Monserrat had babysat. She had them all on the road in minutes. Shortly after, they arrived at a charming brick apartment building whose courtyard boasted dogwood trees with lovely white flowers. “Do you want me to carry you to your apartment, Ava?” Monserrat hadn’t expected a yes but was surprised by the intensity of the Little girl’s head shake. “It was an anti-ABDL protestor that knocked me over.” Ava bit her lip. “I don’t want people to see any baby stuff outside my apartment.” “Oh, sweetie, that’s terrible.” Monserrat kept her face calmly sympathetic – despite the turmoil in her heart. She’d heard that ABDL was negatively in the news, but she hadn’t expected protests in Ardenthill. That someone had even gotten violent at a protest was terrifying for her wife, Jenna. I can warn her as soon as I get these Little girls inside. The last thing they need is for me to freak out and get them both scared again. Ava had to take three breaks on the way into her ground-floor apartment. It was a charming place, small even for a one-bedroom, but tidy and full of homey decorations from her childhood and family connections to India. Once inside, Ava grateful to be picked up by Monserrat and deposited on the couch. “Can you let my bird out?” Ava pointed to a big cage that took up a corner of the living room. “His name is Mango.” “Mango! Mango!” The bird hopped excitedly next to one of his cage doors. It took a finger-flick to open the cage – Mango was out and flying around the room, making happy trilling sounds. He landed on Ava’s shoulder right away, nuzzling her cheek. “I love you too, Mango.” Ava’s face lit up with the first genuine smile Monserrat had seen on the girl. “You remember Briana?” “Briana, Briana, treat!” Mango fluttered his wings at Briana, who sat beside Ava and giggled delightfully at the bird. “Treat later. This is Monchi. She’s a friend.” Ava pointed at Monserrat. “Monchi! Monchi! Treat! Treat!” Monserrat chuckled. “I think everyone should get a treat after what happened today. What do you think?” “Yeah!” The Little girls said in unison. “Treat! Treat!” Mango bobbed his head in an excited nod. Much to Mango’s distress, the Little girls got cookies before he got his date chunks. Monserrat’s go-to cookies for rescues were soft sugar cookies, liberally frosted and as big across as her hand. Once he finally got his bits of date, Mango snuggled into the crook of Ava’s neck. The Little girls were wholly focused on their cookies, giving Monserrat some time to take the lay of the land. While she explored, Monserrat shot off a text to Jenna – and a separate one to the rest of her polycule. She kept it as light as possible with the text to Jenna while ensuring the warning about ABDL protestors came through. For her polycule – Jenna’s other caregivers – Monserrat felt she could be a bit more explicit about the violence. Hoping that she hadn’t worried the women she loved too much, Monserrat concentrated on assessing the apartment. Ava’s space had no obvious ABDL touches besides an abundance of stuffies on her bed. If she had diaper supplies, they were well hidden. Monserat didn’t poke around for them. “That cop was weird with you,” Ava said while Monserrat filled sippy cups with water. Briana shrugged. “The police treat my family differently than other people – I know it’s not right, but what happened to you was way worse. I’m glad I could get them to pay attention to you, and Mom could do the same when Melody was in trouble.” Ava’s thoughtful look turned into a smirk when Mango hopped on Briana’s shoulder and declared, “Stinky! Stinky, stinky!” “What?!” Briana’s jaw dropped. “I didn’t – it’s just potty – Mango, you tattletale!” Ava giggled. “He loves tattling when somebody wets their diaper.” “How’d he even know?” Briana grumped as Monserrat laid out a changing blanket. “He hears the crinkles.” Ava nudged Briana. “Now we both had an accident.” “Yeah, but I’m only wearing a pull-up,” Briana squeaked when Monserrat picked her up. “Oh, thanks, Monchi.” “You’re welcome, Briana.” Monserrat set Briana down on the blanket. “Ava, turn away.” “I don’t mind.” Briana laid back and attended to her cookie like a true diaper-change veteran. “It doesn’t matter if you do; Ava doesn’t want you to see her, so she doesn’t get to peek either.” Monserrat gave Ava a pointed look and made a turning motion. “You turn toward that wall right now, young lady.” Briana was just as much fun to change as she had been the first time Monserrat babysat her, wanting to be played with the whole time and properly squirmy when Monserrat tickled her. While she had the girl and wipes to hand, Monserrat cleaned the Little girl’s makeup streaks up. Putting her back on the couch with Ava and tucking a blanket around the girls resulted in some blissful-looking Littles. “I think you two are properly rescued at this point. I need to get back to my Little girl and the rest of my day.” Monserrat kissed each girl on the forehead and petted Mango’s neck. “Can I do anything for you before I go?” “Do you really have to go?” Briana trained her devastating puppy-dog eyes on Monserrat. Thoughts of Jenna scared at the text she’d received, kept Monserrat strong. “I do, but I’d happily babysit either of you cuties – or both of you – another time.” “Briana was right; you’re a good babysitter.” Ava reached out to squeeze Monserrat’s arm and got a whole hug instead. “Thanks for being so gentle with me.” “It’s what you needed, sweetie.” Monserrat gathered her bag and ensured Ava had her crutches close to hand. “Briana, are you going to be able to get home on your own?” “I’m going to have Mom and Dad pick me up,” Briana said. “Thanks, Monchi.” “And Ava, you’re going to be okay with just Briana here?” “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” Ava snuggled up close to Briana. “I’ll have to go to the doctor and stuff, but I’ll be fine the rest of today.” “Good. If you have another emergency on campus, and I’m at school, I’ll rescue you at no charge, okay, Ava? Make sure you get my phone number from Briana.” “Okay, Monchi.” The sad gratitude on Ava’s face was hard to see. “Hey Monchi, when do I get to meet Jenna?” Briana settled in alongside her girlfriend, holding Ava tenderly in her arms. “It could be soon. If you want, I can give her your phone number and see if she wants to contact you.” “Yeah, do it!” Briana grinned. “It’s a plan. Bye girls. Be good while I’m gone.” “We will, Monchi!” Grinning at the adorable chorus, Monserrat stepped out of the apartment – and hurried to her car. Someone would have texted me by now if something terrible had happened – but I need my Little girl in my arms.

Whew. After nearly a month of nothing, FINALLY woke up wet today. That plateau was quite annoying. Hope it’s not another month until the next one.

I might look into the catheter valve. Thanks! I am my 3rd catheter now. The little plug wasn't working well and it would come out in my diaper. I thought there was too much of an infection risk to leaking openly into my diaper, so I took the catheter out, got another blockage from a clot the next day (this morning) and put in a fresh catheter connected to a fresh collection bag. That's all much better. Thank you! I agree so much with your post. Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to add your two cents, and thank you for the well wishes. I got home last night, pretty late for me (9:30pm) and was pretty exhausted. I slept very well, but after fixing myself up with a fresh catheter this morning I went back to sleep for another 4 hrs until this afternoon! It feels great to be home and rest in my own bed. The doors stayed on the plane and no wings fell apart, either, lol. Apparently that just happened on a flight too. LOL 😄🙂 Yep! No real problems. Long flights but I finally made it. I was pretty wet, but it was OK! Thankfully I wore a trest and it held up amazingly. 😁

Grr adulting 4ever a baby

(yippee)

Mistakes et Cetera I looked up at the ceiling. My thoughts were swirling around like a hurricane, but I was in the eye of it. I wasn't panicking anymore. I was rationalizing. I didn't love Judith. I'd said those words to lure her deeper into our relationship, the same way I'd said them to countless others in my life. Love was just a word. A tool to get what I wanted. Sure, I loved people. My parents. My eighth grade math teacher. My first boyfriend. The girl I met at Pride in San Francisco in 2015. The guy in my building that drove me to Houston. Penny, the day I laid eyes on her. Maybe Justice, if she was to be believed. So maybe I loved Judith, like I loved some of those people, and not like I loved some of the others. The problem was: which ones were the same and which ones were different? Or perhaps Judith was forcing me to love her. It was some kind of Arcana power, shaping the universe the way she wanted it. But that wasn’t how it worked. She could tamper with reality, but not with people. People had free will. I had free will. Though, in that moment, it sure didn’t feel like it. As time went on, I kept telling Judith I loved her because that was the smart thing to do. It gave me more control over her. Or maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I was reinforcing that feeling, when I should have been squashing it. Because it wasn't going away. I wanted to talk to Eli about it, but I didn't want to do it over text and he was too busy to visit. The only one of my friends I saw was Justice. I knew we had a history, one I couldn't remember, but it felt too soon to talk about something like that. She knew me, but I didn't know her. She was still hard to trust. Maybe that was a mistake. I had a quarterly meetup with my therapist, Rachel. If there was anyone to talk to about Judith, it was her. But she was loyal to the Magistrate first, and me second. What if the Magistrate took me off Judith's case? That would have been best. Maybe I could have avoided everything that happened if I'd just been honest with someone, even myself. But I wasn't. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. "You okay?" Judith asked, speaking around her pacifier. She was curled up in my lap and the TV was on, but I wasn't watching it. "Yeah, I'm fine princess." I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "That's just not true," Judith pouted. Every one of her mannerisms had been mutated by regression. There wasn't a thing she could say or do anymore I hadn't tampered with. And it made me feel sick. "Are you happy?" I asked. "Here? With me?" Mistake. "Yeah, I am," she said brightly. "What about your dad? You don't write letters anymore." Mistake. "I know, but... I dunno. Writing letters isn't very on-brand with my new self-concept, right?" She was teasing. Flirting. She knew how to get my attention. "You can still write letters," I said. "And you can want more than this. More than you have." Mistake. "I know I can," Judith said simply. "I just don't." "I can't possibly make you that happy," I sighed. It wasn't like me to be self-depreciating. Mistake. "Don't underestimate yourself," Judith smiled. "And there's more to it than just you. Life here feels... nice..." "Nice is enough for you?" I asked. Mistake. "Nana," Judith sighed. "What's up?" "Nothing... sorry." I sighed too. "I'm just worried. You've been here for a while, and... you can't stay here forever. Even if you never remember what happened to you... do you think all the months you've spent here are justified?" "I don't know," Judith admitted. "I always believed that when we finally crossed that line, you'd say something. And you are now, so I guess I was right." Why the fuck did she trust me so much? How stupid could she be? Talk about mistakes! "I don't know how to explain it," Judith said, sensing my agitation. "I wanted to do so many things in my life, but since I woke up in this room, even before I met you... I feel like this is enough for me. That being happy is enough." That's the Memoriam for you... it was always meant to be the closest thing a candidate could get to Heaven. But it wasn't Heaven. It was just a pretty backdrop. "Now c'mon," Judith said with a little pout. "I gotta go potty, and I don't want you to be in a bad mood when that happens." "Yeah... I bet I'll have a full heart when you have a full diaper." I faked a smile and brushed the hair from Judith's face. Then I kissed her on the lips. A few weeks later, the Magistrate had a new assignment for me. That Indian girl from Academy B, the one who had helped Ai escape. Her name was Bala. "Hello there," I said, sitting down on the floor of the nursery. She was wearing a diaper and a tight crop top, sticking stickers haphazardly into a coloring book. Bala looked up at me and waved, not bothering to take out her pacifier. Her handler - a woman younger than Bala in pink scrubs - was waiting in the corner. She looked nervous. "Do you remember me?" I asked Bala, tilting my head. She nodded. "What do you remember?" Then I plucked the pacifier from her mouth so she could speak. "You took Ai away, an' I went to the Cold Room," Bala said, a childish inflection in her voice. "Why did I do that?" I asked. "'Cuz you did," Bala said simply. Curious. "Do you think it's my fault you went to the Cold Room?" I asked. "Nuh uh. It's Ai's fault. 'Cuz she made my choices, an' tha's not nice." "She made your choices?" I asked. "But I didn't?" "You just did a thing you did. But she tricked me to do somethin' I didn't wanna do," Bala said, a touch of annoyance in her voice. She stuck a sticker down with vigor. "What did you want to do?" I asked. "I wanted to be a good girl," Bala said, and her annoyance quickly turned to sadness. I saw tears in her eyes. "What do you want now?" I asked. "To be a good girl, still," she said. She stuck another sticker down. There was no rhyme or reason to where she was placing them, often overlapping at the corners. "What are you making?" I asked. "Nothin. Just doin' it 'cuz I wanna." "What if I told you to stop?" I asked. She stopped. I didn't even ask. She closed her book and looked up at me earnestly. Interesting... "You don't want to do your stickers anymore?" I asked. "I wanna be a good girl," she said simply. "I'm not tricking you like Ai did?" "No. Because this is what I want." Fascinating. "Bala," I said. "I have a request." What I did next might seem cruel. It wasn't, not really. There was no danger to Bala, unless she truly wanted to die. Unless she could manifest a bullet into the handgun I pulled out of my purse. In which case, it wasn't cruel to give her what she wanted. "Wait! Miss Porter!" The woman from the corner took a step forward and I held up a hand to her. She froze in place, trembling with anticipation. My request for Bala was carefully worded, and Bala followed that request without any hesitation. When it was over, I took the gun back and the handler in the corner slid to the floor with relief. "You're very obedient," I said warmly. "I'm a good girl," Bala said with supreme confidence. "That you are, Bala. That you are." Over the next week, I continued to test Bala. Penny's confidence was only 75%, but mine was 100%. Bala Khatri was the Chariot we were looking for, and Ai led us right to her. I started splitting my time between Academy B and Academy M. Judith wasn't thrilled about it, but she understood. She knew there was something grander going on, and that I was useful in more ways than just getting her off in her diapers. And still, she never probed. She never asked any questions. The Memoriam was enough for her. I was enough for her. I thought it might stay that way forever. But I was mistaken. Time flew by. I accepted how I felt about Judith, and I accepted that it didn't matter anyway. What we had was built on manipulation and coercion. So even if it was real for me, it could never be real for her. Not really. Then one day, in early summer, it was over. The Magistrate sent out an official announcement: they had found their Star. I thought I'd be happy, but it felt so bittersweet. Everything with Judith and I was about to end. J > I'll be over tomorrow to pick you up. M > You're sure? M > Like, 100%? J > You know Penny. 100%s don't exist. But 95% is pretty high. M > Ok M > See you tomorrow I stood outside of Judith's door for an hour. I didn't know what to say to her. Goodbye? But what was the point? It would all go away soon. No Judith, no Maria. Not in the sense of who we are now. It was pointless. Nonsense rotations of the planet. Things that shouldn't even exist. I thought about telling her the truth. I thought about telling her everything. But that was cruel. I just wanted her to yell at me. To hate me. Because that was what I deserved. What did she deserve? The best day of her life. "Hey princess," I said, entering the foyer of the beach house for the last time. "Nana!" Judith ran across the beach house and tackled me like an excited child. I wrapped my arms around her back and squeezed her closely, resting my cheek against her hair as I savored what would be the last excited-hug-of-greeting I'd ever get. The melancholy was akin to graduating school, knowing I'd never see those people again. An entire chapter of my life was coming to an end, and things would never be the same. An author I used to read once wrote about people with terminal diseases enjoying their 'last good day', and how you would never know that day was the last until it was over. But I knew before it began: that day was today. "I missed you," I said. "How have you been?" "Pretty good," Judith said with a smile, rocking back and forth on her feet. She was dressed in a cute pink pajama shirt with her medical diaper on full display. She didn't even try to hide it, and she'd only get embarrassed if I pointed it out. Which I did. "Let's see if you need a change," I said, slipping my hand between her thighs. Her cheeks turned pink and her gaze fell to the floor. "Nana..." "Nope, still dry! How impressive." "Nana!" she said again, pulling her shirt down to try to cover her diaper. It didn't work. "Now, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're dry, remember?" She grumbled a little, but she kept her shirt pulled down. "Now, what would you like to do today? Anything you want!" "Anything?" Judith asked, raising an eyebrow. "Anything," I said, which was not what she expected. She lowered her eyebrow and gave me a look. I could tell she was changing her tactic a little. "Then I'd like to watch a movie. Oliver and Company, because we never finished it." "Oh, right." The last time we'd tried, she had to use the bathroom and we got in that big fight. I didn't like the idea of reliving that experience, but maybe replacing the memory with a good one would be therapeutic for the both of us. I wanted to erase all the bad things I'd done to her, but I had to just settle for this one. "Alright Princess, you get to have anything you want for this movie. Do you want popcorn? Do you want to cuddle up in a beanbag? Do you want to sit on my lap while I feed you a sippy?" A while back, I'd stopped hiding that I could procure just about anything as needed, and Judith had just come to accept it that way that any young child accepts that food just ends up in the pantry and toys just end up under the Christmas tree. Prudent Judith, though, she was a simple girl of simple tastes. She just wanted to watch a movie. "You're awfully attentive today," Judith said skeptically, as the two of us took our seats on the sofa. She had a sippy cup of juice and I had my arm around her. "You deserve some attention," I said brightly. "Would you rather I ignore you all day?" "No, I just..." Judith shook her head and faked a smile. "Nevermind." A few minutes into the movie, Judith's head was on my lap and I was holding her sippy cup for her. I had seen dozens of movies with Judith already, but this time I was paying special attention to the screen. I knew it was one of her favorite films, and I wanted to give it the respect it deserved. I wanted to do one thing right. "I'm really liking the music," I said, after we got through the one with Dodger running around New York City. "Yeah, the music is good. I'll tell you when my favorite song comes on." "The piano one?" I asked. I remembered that. "Yeah!" She seemed genuinely happy that I remembered, so I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. It was a real demonstration of my flexibility. Halfway into the movie, we paused so I could refill her sippy cup. Then the little rich girl started playing the piano song. It was about always being together, her and the cat. We'll always be good company, you and me. I looked at Judith out of the corner of my eye. I thought she'd be happy to hear her favorite song, but she just looked... sad. "You okay?" I asked, playing with her hair. "Yeah, I'm okay," Judith said around the spout of her sippy cup. I wasn't going to push it, but... well, was there ever going to be a better time? "Talk to me, princess." Judith shrugged her shoulders and took the sippy cup out of her mouth. "I just... really like the song. But it's a little scary too, you know? You and me, forever. Always. But nothing can be forever, right? Nothing can be always." "I guess not..." I admitted. Both of us were quiet for a long time, until Judith said, under her breath, so I nearly didn't hear it: "I wish forever was longer than it is." I played with her hair and nodded my head. "Me too, Judith. Me too." Judith and I kept watching the movie, and we were just about near the end when Judith tugged on my sleeve. "I gotta go potty..." "The movie is on, princess," I teased. "You can wait a sec." "No, but I gotta go... it's an emergency." Emergency. That was a key word she used when she had to poop. I was having flashbacks to the first time we watched Oliver and Company. "And what would you like to do?" I asked. I didn't do that anymore, not when it came to using the bathroom or using her diapers, but the last thing I wanted to do was make her sad. "Uh, I'd like to..." Judith hesitated. She looked up at me, then at the TV screen. I kept waiting for her to finish her sentence, but she didn't. Things felt a little off. I was playing too cautiously, and she was picking up on it. Judith from a few months ago may have appreciated how considerate I was acting, but that just wasn't our dynamic. It had never been. The movie ended. Happily. But when Judith looked up at me, she didn't seem happy. "So, um..." she started. "So you should put on another movie," I interrupted. Confidence. Certainty. I didn't want Judith to think anything was wrong. She smiled and nodded her head. "Okay, I'll change the DVD." Ten minutes into the next movie - another Disney film that Judith didn't seem half as attached to - she tugged on my sleeve again. "I gotta go potty," she mumbled. "The movie is on, princess," I said. It felt like we were repeating our dialogue like lines in a play. "But I gotta go..." "A big girl could hold it. You're a big girl, aren't you?" "Yes, but..." "Then you can hold it." Judith pouted. A mock pout. She crossed her arms and sunk into the sofa. I looked over at her with a small smile, but when she looked at me I turned back to the TV. Ten minutes later, Judith's whimpers were louder than the TV. I ignored them. "Nana..." She tugged my sleeve again. "Yes, sweetie?" She didn't need to tell me, but it was all part of the song and dance, all part of the ritual. "I gotta go potty..." "I know, you mentioned," I said, with a touch of impatience. "If you're such a little girl, just use your diaper." "I'm not!" she argued. "Then you can hold it, like a grown up." "I... ugh..." Judith whimpered and I could feel her hand trembling on my sleeve. "Shh, c'mon now. Lie down." I grabbed her by the arm with one hand and her shoulder with the other. I turned her around so that she was lying on her back, with her head in my lap. Her feet dangled a little ways over the armrest, and she was quick to tuck them in so that her knees were in the air. "Nana..." she begged. I could hear the desperation in her voice. "Nana will change you after the movie, sugarplum, so you just go ahead and do your business in your diapers. And no more fussing, understand?" Judith always responded very well to my stern directness, especially if she couldn't detect any kind of manipulative intent. "I'm not... gonna do—" I silenced Judith with her pacifier, pushing it between her lips. She looked up at me with crimson cheeks and an ounce of panic. I smiled down at her. "Go ahead and use your diapers. You'll feel so much better when you're done, when your diaper is nice and full. Won't you? Yes, you will." I played with Judith's hair as I teased her, as I watched her body tense. Her feet pushed on the arm of the sofa, so the seat of her diaper was lifted a little bit off the couch cushions. Her cute little face scrunched up as she pushed. Filling her diaper. Messing her diaper. Pooping her diaper. Because she'd done it a hundred times before, and it was so easy now. Because she was my helpless little girl. Every muscle in her body finally got to relax. Judith exhaled and melted back down into the sofa, sucking softly and contentedly on her pacifier. I played with her hair as the smell floated up around her, and the redness swelled in her cheeks. "Good girl, Judith." "Nana..." Judith tried to say around her pacifier, but I shushed her. "The movie is on." To her credit, Judith waited a good ten minutes before asking again. And ten minutes after that before asking again. But she soon grew fed up with my dismissiveness. "I gotta change," she tried to argue. "I said the movie is on, princess." "Nooo, I gotta change!" "Judith," I said sharply. "Remember your place. You're a little girl in a stinky diaper, and I'm your Nana. You'll do what you're told." "But... I gotta change..." Had Judith's voice been meek and needy, maybe I would have let her argument slide. But it wasn't. It was whining and pleading. So I grabbed her under the arms and pulled her onto my lap, flipping her onto her stomach. "Hey! Wait, wait!" she quickly begged, letting the pacifier drop from her lips in surprise. "You're acting very whiny and willful and disruptive, Judith," I said. "You're a good girl, and this isn't what good girls do. So I'm just going to give you a little reminder of what happens to naughty girls who whine and whimper and make a fuss." "No! Nana!" But with one swat on the seat of her messy diaper, she shut up. She sunk into my lap and I could feel the heat of her blush all throughout her body. "Now, let's see... you were making demands. You were fussing. You were acting like you had a say. But that can't be true, now can it?" I swatted her diaper again and a shiver ran up her spine. Judith quickly shook her head. "You're just a little girl, and words are hard to use sometimes, so you should just suck on your binky and let your Nana handle the decisions." Smack. Smack. Smack. The spanking couldn't have hurt, not anything more than her pride, but what adult gets spanked in a full diaper? It was an adulthood-destroying experience. "Right, sweetie?" I prompted. Judith nodded again, but I knew her pacifier wasn't in her mouth. So I swatted her stinky diaper one more time - harder than the rest - and gave the order: "Put your paci in." She quickly scrambled to put her pacifier in. "There's a good girl. Grown-ups talk, grown-ups make decisions. Baby girls are cute, and pretty, and stinky, and don't make decisions." I gave her three more spanks for good measure, and then I ran my fingers down the back of her thigh and rubbed her skin gently as a kind of 'you did good' gesture. When I finally let Judith off my lap, she wasn't crying, but her face was scarlet. She wouldn't look at me, even as I placed her down on my lap. She winced, sitting in her own mess, and we returned to the movie. Half an hour later, Judith looked exhausted. The humiliation of sitting in a stinky diaper all hour was certainly a lot for her, and the spanking definitely compounded it. My time with Judith was almost up for the day, and I wanted to change her, maybe give her a bath, and cuddle until I had to go. I wanted us to end on a good note. But one more thing first. I helped her into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. I fetched a clean diaper and baby wipes from her dresser. And her vibrating wand. After that first messy diaper, I always made her cum before a change. I wanted her to know that submission and pleasure went hand in hand. But this time, my motives were a little more selfish. I wanted her to feel good and be happy. "Nana..." she muttered, blushing deeper. "Please, not this again…" "Oh, please not what, sweetie? Please… don't make you feel good? Please… don't reward you? Please… don't show you how much I adore you?" I wanted to say love there, I really did, but the word got stuck in my chest and never made it to my lips. God I'd fucked up. "Lemme change first," she begged. It wasn't uncommon at all for her to want to be in a fresh diaper before something like this, but her insistence was greater than usual. No doubt the messy diaper spanking had done a number on her. "Nonsense," I said cheerily, pressing the wand to the thick soggy padding between her thighs. With the press of a button, it buzzed to life and Judith quivered on the mattress. "Na…Na… Na… Nanuuuuuuhhhhhh" Judith squirmed and arched her back. I pressed the wand against her diaper the way I always did, and I praised the way that I always did. I wanted her to remember this. It didn't take more than a few minutes to bring her to orgasm, for my little Judith to cum in her messy diaper. She laid there, exhausted, and I went about changing her. She was helpless and weak as I untaped her diaper, cleaned her up, and lifted her legs to slide a fresh one under her bum. I thought a bath would be a better idea, but I liked the simplicity of her submission. Of being too spent after an orgasm to stop me dressing her in another diaper. Afterward, Judith and I cuddled in bed for a few minutes. I whispered kind things in her ears. And I told her I loved her, because I did. And I probably sounded a little sadder than I had meant to. Then I had to go. I gave her a kiss goodbye, leaving her in just her diaper and crop tip, with a lipstick print on her forehead. But just before I closed her bedroom door, I heard her voice. "Nana?" "Yes, princess?" I asked. "I wanna... have sex." I laughed a little and looked at the girl on the bed. So cute. So helpless. Everything I'd turned her into. And at the same time, so uniquely untainted. So sincerely Judith. I smiled to myself. I'd miss her so much. Until I didn't. "You've had enough sex for one day," I said. "Yeah, but... but I have one more freebie. Sex, anytime I want. Remember?" I blinked. That was so long ago. Did she really have one left? "You sure you want to use it now?" I asked. "Yeah..." Judith said, nodding her head. "It feels like... now is the right time." I really should have left. I was already aching inside, having to say goodbye. And the goodbye was so ordinary, so typical. It was everything I needed it to be. I didn't want to stay. But I'd made a promise to Judith. So I nodded my head. "Alright. If you're sure." It made me wonder how much she knew, if maybe she'd picked up on my body language, my word choices, my decisions and actions. Or maybe she knew innately. She was a Candy, after all. Maybe she'd always known. But it didn't matter. I sat back down on the edge of the bed, right next to her, and began to slowly unbutton my scrubs. But Judith shook her head. "Keep those on, please... I wanna remember it like this. With you as my nurse. In big girl panties. And me, like this. In diapers. Helpless. For you." I blinked, frozen in place on the bed. She stared at me with such confidence, I wasn't sure what to say. Then she corrected herself. "Actually, a different top for me... a gown, I think. Like the hospital ones." "Sure, princess," I said, getting up off the bed. "Anything you want." She wasn't advocating to be anything she wasn't, not anymore. She was my helpless little girl, and I was her nurse. I was her Nana and she was my patient. We were everything to one another in that moment, and I was inclined to allow her the scenario she wanted. In short order, I returned to the bed with a patient gown, the type that tied at the back and never fit just right. "I'm happy I met you," Judith said, playing with her fingers while I tied the gown. "I'm happy I met you too," I admitted. A mistake, probably. "Even if we have to live at this beach house, or hospital, or whatever you think it is. I hope our forever lasts a lot longer." I should have just asked her about all the things she was saying. Why she sounded so final. Why she was acting like today was different to any other day. But I didn't. Another mistake. Instead, I said: "Me too..." Once the gown was tied on, she looked up at me shyly and bit her lip. There was still lipstick on her forehead from my goodbye kiss. "Nurse Maria," Judith said, using a name I hadn't heard in a long time from her lips. "Are you sure I should be in diapers at my age?" "In your condition, there's simply no other choice," I said. "You're going to be in diapers forever now; you're never going to be out of them. Which means you'll always need someone to take care of you, someone to keep you healthy and safe. That's why you have me. I've been assigned to be your caregiver and your nurse from now on." Terms like 'from now on' and 'forever' certainly had a difference in meaning when the world would end soon. "But I'm a grown woman," Judith said with a blush. "I can't be in diapers all the time. What about... what about if I'm intimate with someone? There's no way that could work..." What a cute angle. Almost antiquated, in the context of our relationship. A girl who didn't believe diapers could be sexy. It reminded me of our first time, and a wave of nostalgia welled up in my heart. "Well, as it turns out, you have a very dedicated nurse, and I'll help with any adjustments and lifestyle changes. I'd be more than happy to demonstrate intimacy with you; you're my favorite little patient, after all. And I'd be very remiss to let this go without showing you what a wonderful sex life you can still have, once you change your perspective." "Wha...?" Judith feigned surprise. "You can't... I mean... you're my nurse! I couldn't possibly do something like that with my nurse. Be reasonable!" "Oh you don't have to worry about that, even for a second. I'm fully trained to take care of all your problems you might experience." "That's not what I mean," Judith said with a hint of annoyance. Something from long ago. Something I didn't see much anymore. The nostalgia was like a brick to the stomach. "I mean, I'm not letting my nurse do... that stuff to me! And... and anyway, it doesn't matter. You can't have sex in a diaper. That's ridiculous..." "Oh Judith, you have so much to learn. You most certainly can have sex in a diaper, and I can show you how. You know, out of a sense of medical professionalism. Think of this as a form of physical therapy, okay? Can you do that for me?" She looked up at me with bright surprise in her eyes. Her face took on another shade of embarrassment. Then she bit her lip and nodded her head. "I suppose... if it's... professional..." "In my medical opinion, it certainly is," I said. "I'm very well prepared to take care of your every health need, Judith." I took a step forward and leaned down, close to Judith. My glasses fogged up just a little as I touched my lips to hers. Softly. Gently. I tucked her hair behind her ear and pushed her backward, until she fell back onto the bedsheets. Her cheeks were pink. "Um... that's... maybe a little overboard for a professional?" she asked. "Is it? I just want to prepare you for a realistic experience." "I... guess so..." "Being in diapers full-time, helpless and needy… none of that means you have to give up proper love-making, Judith. You just have to trust in my medical opinions, and I'll take good care of you." Judith nodded a little and I crawled onto bed after her. I didn't have to spread her legs, as her diaper did that for me already. Truthfully, she almost never closed her legs anymore. I took my fingers and touched the top of her thigh, pushing the gown up and out of the way. Judith quickly tried to pull it back down to hide the diaper. Gently, I slapped the back of her hand and tutted with my tongue, admonishing her in the way I imagined a particularly handsy and unprofessional nurse might have done, and continued exactly what I was doing. "Don't squirm, Judith. Be good." Be good. I could see those words bouncing around in her head, and she finally nodded. "Yes, Nurse..." she mumbled. I moved my hand up her thigh again, taking her gown with it. All the way up, until her diaper was fully exposed. Until her bare stomach was visible. I was slow and meticulous, taking my time with each movement. "I look silly," Judith blushed. "You look stunning," I said, crinkling the plastic on her hip. I pressed my fingers against the diaper between her legs, enough for her to be able to feel the pressure. "You think... I look sexy?" Judith asked. "I do," I said honestly. Because lying on her back like that, with pink cheeks, in her diaper... she was sexy. Maybe that's what love does to a person, or maybe I was building my own associations these days. I leaned down and kissed her once again. From there, things happened very naturally. One kiss into the other. My hand on the seat of her diaper, rubbing it. Her hand under my top, against my bare breasts. My shirt grew damp from the milk, because I never did stop taking those pills. I never could give up the idea of breastfeeding Judith. Her mouth latched onto my nipple. I moaned and trembled in her arms. I wound up on my back. Judith crawled on top of me and planted the front of her diaper on my bare thigh. Her lips wrapped around my other nipple and her hand slid down into the front of my pink pants. I played with her hair as she straddled her diaper against my leg, grinding the thick padding into her clit. And I was awash with love. Not just lust, but love. For Judith. And a bit of lust, too. I moved my thigh against Judith's diaper, rocking her and bouncing her. And whenever I felt her come close to orgasm, I'd stop. With her hand in my underwear, my mental tricks were only working so well. Every time I felt myself getting close, I'd grab her wrist and move her hand away from me for a moment. Because I didn't want to cum. Because she didn't want to cum. Because we didn't want it to end. It felt like days. It felt like minutes. But it could have only been an hour or so of edging each other. When I couldn't take it anymore - or maybe she couldn't? - I bounced her on my thigh and she rubbed her fingers in circles against my clit. We both fell apart in each others arms, quivering and moaning, our respective underwear soaked. For a long time, neither of us wanted to move. We wanted to find Father Time and kill him ourselves. Hand in hand. And if I could have been honest with Judith, if I could have told her the truth, then maybe we could have made that moment an eternity. Maybe she could have stopped the clock, and forever could have lasted forever. But I didn't. Maybe that was my biggest mistake of all.

Chapter 4: Unless I Knock I really hadn’t thought this through as well as I should have. I continued to stare down at the massive wet spot underneath me on the bed. The urine had spread out in a puddle around me. I could feel the wetness beneath me from my knees to my toes as my bare skin pressed against where the urine had soaked through the sheets. It was still warm, though not quite as warm as it had been in the seconds after I had finished peeing. I couldn’t bring myself to move. I had attempted to inch away at first, but that only accentuated the feeling of the wetness against my skin. I did not like that sensation at all. I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. I had done it. Actually done it. I hadn’t chickened out this time. This next week was going to be the worst of it. I was going to need to keep doing this until my parents decided to purchase pull-ups for me. And that was something that had to be their decision. No twelve-year-old, even one who would be far better off wearing pull-ups to bed, would be actively asking their parents to purchase them for her. That meant Mom and Dad would need to arrive at the decision on their own, without anything but the most subtle of hints from me. As I sat uncomfortably on what couldn’t actually be described as an accident, I now fully understood why my two younger cousins had no issues with their parents buying them pull-ups to wear to bed. For the longest time, I had struggled to understand why someone who was just a regular bedwetter – not someone like myself who actually wanted to wear diapers for the sake of wearing them – would be OK with doing so at night. The proof was right underneath me. There couldn’t be any way that someone would prefer going through this every night rather than wearing a pull-up or diaper to bed. There couldn’t be any question that having an accident contained in a pull-up would be preferable to having to deal with soaked pajamas and bedding in the middle of the night. I couldn’t just continue to sit in the middle of the bed. I inched over to the side of the bed, leaving a trail of wet spots across the sheets as I moved away from the nucleus of the fake bedwetting accident. I reached to the side of the bed, where I could barely make out the outline of the lamp sitting on the nightstand. My hands fumbled across it in the dark for a few seconds before they came across the light switch. I averted my eyes, shielding them from the blinding light with my arm. Then I opened my eyes again. The damage was far worse than it had appeared when I had wet the bed in darkness. My light pink sheets only made the location of the accident more apparent. And I had indeed left a trail of wetness over to where I was sitting next to the lamp. The bottom of my light blue cotton pajama shorts were completely soaked, as was the underwear beneath them. Even my T-shirt hadn’t been completely spared. The bottom of it must have touched a wet spot on the bed as I had gone to turn the lamp on, as there were some wet spots on the bottom of the shirt as well. I had known the process of faking bedwetting to get pull-ups wasn’t going to be pretty, but even then, the reality of what it was going to entail hadn’t really sunk in until now. But now what? My initial plan had been to wet the bed in the morning, but I had worried that might not be a good idea. There were several problems I found with that option. The first was that all the wet spots on the bedding would still be warm; it would look a lot more like I had peed a few minutes ago than having had an accident in the middle of the night. Too suspicious. The second issue with that idea was how it would be much harder to conceal the bedwetting from Grace and Jackson. They would both be awake, and it would be much more likely that they would come across wet laundry being hauled down to the laundry room or eavesdrop on a conversation about bedwetting between me and our parents. That meant that a nighttime accident was necessary, and I would need to proactively inform my parents about it. How in the world was I supposed to begin that conversation? Hey, Mom and Dad, it’s me. Maddy. You know, your twelve-year-old daughter who has never wet the bed before. About that. I just pissed all over my pajamas and bed just now while I was asleep. Sorry about that. Can you help me get cleaned up? Just another thing I hadn’t thought through. But I was going to have to do it, and soon. I stifled a yawn. I couldn’t risk falling asleep and being forced to attempt to stealthily hide my wet bedding from my siblings while also informing my parents of the accident. I just had to trust that my parents would show the same amount of discretion in handling my bedwetting as they had done for my older sister. I grabbed a dry portion of the bed cover and used it to wipe off my feet and legs before getting off of the bed. It wasn’t super bad to walk in wet shorts, but the wet underwear beneath them clung to me uncomfortably as I retrieved my phone, turning on its flashlight function as I turned off the bedroom lamp. I had to nudge Chester back into the hallway with my foot as I creaked open the door. The stupid cat would probably accidentally end up in my wet bedding if I let him in. It was bad enough that I was probably going to need to get in the shower. The one time we’d had to bathe that poor cat gave me no desire to have to do it again. I shut the bedroom door behind me as I entered the hallway. A few seconds later, I was standing in front of my parents’ closed bedroom door. I couldn’t bring myself to even gently tap on the door, let alone knock on it enough to wake them up. But the longer I waited, the more likely it was that one of my siblings might get up to use the restroom or get a late-night sip of water. I silently went through a half-dozen variations of what I could say to my parents. I wasn’t happy with any of them. The truth was that I wasn’t going to find the right thing to say. There wasn’t any possible way to explain the situation to my parents that wasn’t completely and utterly humiliating. My thoughts drifted back to the magazine under the bed. This was the price I had to pay to get my pull-ups. I hoped it would be worth it. I reached out and pressed the palm of my right hand against the door. The door wasn’t locked, but I knew better than to open it without their permission. I pulled my hand back a few inches and then did what could be most accurately described as a few soft pats on the door. In the silence of the night, the sound of my palm on the wood door seemed to reverberate through the hallway. But I knew I hadn’t actually made enough noise to wake anyone up, whether that was my siblings or my parents. I closed my hand into a fist. I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door. I thought of a desperate plan to turn back. I could sneak down to the basement. I knew for a fact that the washer and dryer weren’t audible from the second-floor bedrooms. I could get everything washed and dried. I could remake the bed. No one would be any bit the wiser to what had occurred. I would be exhausted the next morning. But it was Saturday. I could sleep in. I shook my head. That was how this always went. I couldn’t let myself get turned aside, not after everything I’d done. I tried to build an image in my head of what my life would be like next week. Mom would have purchased a small package of pull-ups for me. I would have pretended to be embarrassed about using them, but would have reluctantly agreed to do so in the end. I would be lying in bed, wearing them in place of my underwear. I certainly wouldn’t have any pajama shorts over them. No, I would want to be able to see the colorful design, run my hand against the crinkly exterior. Even three years later, I could still longingly recall exactly how that had felt, along with the padding that so comfortably fit between my legs. And then, when I was wetting myself in bed, it would all be contained. I wanted ever so badly to know what that felt like. None of that was going to happen unless I knocked. No matter how embarrassing the next week was going to be, it would all pass. And I would get what I wanted. I rapped my knuckles on the door several times. I winced at the sound it made, but there was no way around it. I paused, listening first for any sounds from behind the door and then from further down the hallway where my siblings were sleeping. Nothing from either one of them. I rapped my hands again on the door. This time a little harder than before. And this time, there was a result. I thought I heard something creaking from beyond the door. Then a hushed conversation. Then a couple of footsteps. Then the door opened. I didn’t have to fake the shame and embarrassment I felt as the bedroom door creaked open to reveal Mom standing in front of me in a nightgown, with the dim light of my phone illuminating her face. My hands were trembling as I looked at her. Through the gap in the door, I could see Dad, who was still in bed. He was also craning his head to get a look at me. “Is everything alright?” Mom asked. She didn’t sound as though she was fully awake yet. “I… I…” The beginning of my planned response drifted off into nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. It turned out that I didn’t have to. My face burned as Mom’s eyes drifted away from mine and down toward my waist. There was no immediate verbal reaction to what she was seeing, but her eyes told the story that her lips didn’t. Her eyes blinked rapidly a couple of times and then widened, staring at my shorts for several seconds before breaking away to look back at me. I couldn’t meet her eyes this time. I focused instead on the sash of her nightgown. Mom turned around and motioned for Dad to get back into bed. “It’s OK, honey. I’ve got it.” She stepped out next to me in the hallway, pulling the bedroom door shut behind her. “Let’s go and get everything cleaned up,” Mom said as she began to walk toward my bedroom. Even though I’d had some light from the lamp and my phone, my eyes still weren’t prepared for how bright the room suddenly got when Mom flipped on the light switch to my room. Mom took a deep breath as she surveyed the bedroom. “You have one of those dreams where you thought you were sitting on the toilet?” “Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t even know that was a thing. But it seemed like a believable lie to go along with. “Well, it happens,” Mom said. She didn’t sound upset. Just tired. “I’ll take care of getting the bedding in the wash, but you need to get yourself cleaned up as well once you’ve helped me get the bedding stripped.” I tossed all of my pillows to the floor. They, thankfully, had been completely spared. Mom didn’t say anything further as she helped me strip the bed. The cover hadn’t gotten all that wet, just a little bit from where it had gotten tossed in the wet bedding and used to dry myself off. The same couldn’t be said for the rest of the bedding. The sheets were very soaked. There was a thin cotton mattress protector beneath the sheets. Also soaked. And then there was the mattress itself. The wet spot on it was as bad as I had feared, considering how wet all the bedding had been. I really hoped that I hadn’t ruined it. Though, on the other hand, that type of damage might spur my parents on to get me pull-ups a lot more quickly. Mom had wrapped the sheets and mattress protector in the much dryer cover and was holding it all in her arms. “One more thing, Maddy. I need to wash your clothes as well. Just take them off in the bathroom, and then you can inch the door open a little bit to hand your wet pajamas to me. I need to put them in the wash with all of your bedding. And you need to get cleaned up in the shower before getting dressed again for bed.” I hastily grabbed some underwear and clean pajamas from the dresser and retreated into the bathroom. I grimaced as I pulled off my wet shorts and underwear. I had forgotten how much I disliked the sensation of wet fabric on my skin. Per Mom’s instructions, I slid my wet clothes through a slightly open door. I winced at the thought of Mom having to pick them up as if she wasn’t already holding plenty of evidence of my supposed bedwetting accident. I turned on the shower, adjusting the shower head so that the water was coming out at an angle that would allow me to step into the shower and wash my midsection without getting my hair wet. I hated going to bed with wet hair, and I wasn’t going to use a loud hairdryer at this time of night. There wasn’t much that could wake up either Jackson or Grace, but the hair dryer might be loud enough to do so. The last thing I needed was for either of them to be wondering why I had been up taking a shower at this time of the night. Since I wasn’t washing my hair, it only took me a couple of minutes to get scrubbed down. I washed as thoroughly as I could, eager to get every trace of urine off of my skin. Once I had pull-ups to wear to bed, that wouldn’t be a problem. Those would actually be able to absorb everything. I could see the light coming into the hallway from my open bedroom door as I stepped out of the bathroom. I walked slowly through the hallway in a conscious effort to not create any more noise than I had made already. Mom was patting the mattress dry with paper towels. There were two bottles of cleaning sprays on the nightstand, along with a rather sizable pile of wet, discarded paper towels. A bit of guilt ran through me at the sight of Mom cleaning up after my mess. None of this was fair to her. I grabbed a handful of paper towels off of the roll and leaned over the mattress next to Mom, pressing the towels against a wet spot that now gave off the harsh scene of cleaning chemicals. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I pressed another wad of paper towels into the mattress. Mom took a break from patting the mattress dry and rubbed my back. “Don’t worry about it, Maddy. You were asleep. It wasn’t your fault. Besides, it’s not like it is the first time I’ve had to clean up a mattress in the middle of the night.” I knew she was referring to my older sister, but as eager as I was for more details about Grace’s past bedwetting, I couldn’t bring myself to ask Mom some more questions. Besides, I doubted I would get any more answers than on that day when I had accidentally found out about my sister’s bedwetting. We went through a couple dozen more paper towels before Mom stepped back from the bed and turned to look at me. “Well, I think your mattress will survive. But it still needs to dry some more. I set up your sleeping bag on the floor.” I had been so focused on helping Mom clean the mattress that I hadn’t noticed the dark purple sleeping bag that had been unrolled at the foot of the bed. It was all set up for me to crawl into. And, of course, Chester was already curled up on top of it. For a dumb cat, he could be pretty perceptive sometimes. I knelt down and slid into the cool sleeping bag, careful not to displace the cat. “I wouldn’t get too worked up about it,” Mom said quietly to me as she went to turn the light off. “I’m sure it’s just a one-time thing.” Her hand touched the switch. I was enveloped in darkness. If only she knew. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com

I've been a member on here for awhile and I rarely commit but I felt compelled to add "my two cents." I also love uncontrolled incontinence, I personally use a stent but I also have a career that would never facilitate a permanent procedure. I also envy @Reddy at being able to connect reality to an internal desire. Nothing in life worth doing is without risks. I'm not saying what he has done is wrong, right, good, bad or otherwise. I'm neutral in my judgment. I also will say there are all different levels of judgment by others in this community. I personally would like to see more constructive and positive comments. With that said sometimes writing one's thoughts do not properly translate their feelings or judgments. I can say in regards to a previous comment I catheter balloon or any other sealed vessel with any fluid be it air or liquid will not expand or contract on board an aircraft. Do to cabin pressurization. With an exception a vessel sealed at low altitude. Say sea level then transported to high altitude will experience a pressure differential. The same is also true if you flip the circumstances high to low. This is only a factor when air is in that said vessel. Say a small shampoo bottle, not a catheter balloon with 99% water. My last comment I only wish @Reddy the very best after all how many of us would love to do what he has done. And how many of us can do what he has done. He has shared a great personal experience. I just ask folks to take a step back and show more respect in their comments.

Hello! This is the first story I ever have written. Pure fiction. English is not my native language. Enjoy! If someone likes it I might write a sequel. BR Sandman Dan’s adventure By Sandman Chapter 1 The stewardess had just sat down and fastened her seatbelt. For a moment, her thoughts seemed to have drifted far away from the passengers and her work in the aircraft. Was she on her way home to her boyfriend or family or was it going to be another night in a concrete hotel where she would party with her colleagues in the crew? Dan tried to relax and looked around. In a few minutes, the aircraft would touch down and once again he was on his way to a new adventure. Dan was used to this life. He was looking forward to new challenges and seeing new things and meeting new people. Dan's colleagues were jealous. Everyone had hoped to get this job. It was a well-paid foreign contract that, unusually, was not located in a godforsaken den in the wilderness. No one begrudged Dan that he had finally drawn the longest straw because he really had the skills and experience that the customer was looking for. He had also had a successful assignment for the same company quite recently and that had been the deciding factor. The client had been clear and said that they would be more than happy to have Dan as Supervisor. The project was supposed to last for three years, but everyone involved understood that it was a very optimistic time estimate and that it would probably take much longer than that. Delays were standard in this industry. For Dan, it was okay. Every extra day in this paradise would feel like a reward. Dan closed his eyes and stretched in the airplane seat, feeling expectant. Several good years lay ahead of him, and it was likely to be a soft start. Dan wasn’t that much needed in the beginning of the project where he could assist only with some simple administrative activities, but when the project took off, there would undoubtedly be some hectic days. The pilot landed the plane pretty well and began to brake sharply to quickly turn off the runway. Dan rested his eyes on the cute stewardess sitting right in front of him. Her thoughts were still far, far away, but suddenly, she looked at Dan with a sexy smile. Dan smiled back. Throughout the flight, he had admired her Afro-Asian looks, and she had a sexy little ass that Dan just couldn't help but rest his eyes on. As Dan started to walk towards the plane's exit and passed the flight attendant, their eyes met. Dan responded politely and then followed the stream of passengers out of the plane and on to passport control and baggage claim. When Dan was waiting for his bags, his phone beeped and when he checked, he saw that a WhatsApp message had arrived. "Hey handsome! I saw your phone number on the notepad that you held in your hand. At 20:00 I'll be at the lobby bar. Hilton Downtown. Regards Rhonda" Dan looked around and saw that the cute stewardess was standing a short distance away in the company of the crew. She had her eyes fixed on Dan and had the phone in one hand. Dan responded quickly. 🔥 😊 //Dan Just after Dan sent the message, he saw that the flight attendant was reading something on her phone and smiling. She then looked at Dan with a happy smile and then grabbed her cabin bag and said something to another member of the flight crew. Then they walked towards the exit. Gosh, this is too good to be true, Dan thought as he sat in the taxi. What are the odds of getting picked up on a flight? Either way, that put Dan in a very good mood. The taxi eventually arrived in an area that Dan recognized, even though he had never been there before. He knew the streets thanks to his explorations in google street view where he had clicked through street by street. It had been part of his preparations to quickly settle into his new surroundings. Dan had received several suggestions for different accommodations but decided on an apartment that was relatively central within walking distance of both restaurants and the subway. The taxi stopped and the moment of truth approached. Would the furnished apartment be as good as he thought and was the key there the landlord had said? Dan keyed in the code to the padlock with the metal box attached to the bike rack and was able to confirm that the keys were in the agreed place. A few minutes later, Dan was in his new apartment and after a quick round, he could breathe a sigh of relief. The apartment was just as good as he had hoped for. Bright, fresh and with a majestic view. Dan immediately set to work and unpacked his suitcases. He always did it when he came to a new place. Even though it felt hard, Dan had realized that it always paid off later. Dan was also something of a pedant when it came to orderliness. Especially when it comes to clothes in wardrobes. Everything had to be folded with meticulous care and each piece of clothing had to have a specific place. This almost morbid mania for order was something that amused Dan's closest friends and something that was often joked about. They said he was a "fake man" but that was something Dan could offer. In fact, he couldn't believe how his friends could leave their gym bags lying around inside the front door for days on end before they were unpacked. No, it was something that would never happen at Dan's house. In the afternoon, Dan began to prepare for the evening's unexpected and very promising "date". Dan had always found it easy to meet new girls and God knows he'd had many casual sexual relationships but never with a flight attendant. Two hours later, Dan and Rhonda were sitting in the lobby bar with drinks in their hands. Not surprisingly, Rhonda was outgoing and easy to hang out with, and after a couple of steady drinks, they had broken the ice and sat tightly entwined and were united in a long, erotic kiss. When Dan returned to his apartment early the next day, his hair was in a mess and his shirt was hanging outside his pants. The night had been hot and intense, and Dan had a lot of sleep to catch up on. Rhonda was probably already back at 10,000 meters on its way to its next destination and it was unclear if their paths would cross again. When Dan tried to get the keys to the front door, he heard footsteps downstairs and a couple in sportswear approached. “Are you the new neighbor? Hi, my name is Brad, and this is Sarah!” “Hi Brad, Hi Sarah! Nice to meet you!” Brad looked like a fit Greek God with straight facial features and exuded confidence. At first glance, he looked like a nice guy who cared about his appearance, but Brad, or if you should call him "Sport Ken", was completely uninteresting to Dan. Brad was like a stain on his glasses that you immediately wanted to get rid of in order to have the opportunity to see more of his girlfriend "Sport Barbie". Sarah had the most kind and seductive eyes Dan had ever seen. Jesus, what a beauty! She gave a mature and stable impression and Dan guessed that she was about 35 years old. The couple said they had just returned from an exercise and Sarah was still a little stunned, causing her lovely breasts to dilate under the olive top as she inhaled. Dan could feel it growing inside his underwear and blushed when he realized that Sarah had observed what he had been looking at. “How about meeting over a cup of coffee some day in the future? What do you say to that, Dan? “Well, that would be very nice. Let's get in touch. I just need to settle in a bit first.” “Did it get late last night?" asked Sarah? “Uh, well..” Sarah grinned and then she said happily. “Nice color on the lipstick... but you'll need to use stain remover to get it off your shirt!” “Uh, ... Oh, yes look. Well, uh, I guess I'll have to take a trip to the washroom in the basement.” When Dan entered the apartment, he immediately sank into the couch in the living room. He felt tired. The night's activities had left their mark and besides, he wasn't really used to the new time zone that was very different from what his body was set to. Dan couldn't quite let go of the impression of "Sport Ken and Sport Barbie". His new neighbors. It was undeniably a handsome couple, and Sarah didn't really have a Barbie look, but it was more Brad who looked like a movie actor with perfect looks regardless of the time of day. Sarah had more of a mature and curvy MILF look and appeared to be a determined and sexy woman he easy could fall in love with and Dan could only congratulate Brad for capturing her. It bothered Dan that he just had blushed in front of Sarah. Brad probably hadn't seen it because he was facing the door lock when it happened. Dan, on the other hand, was convinced that Sarah had noticed Dan's reaction. It had almost felt like she had intentionally exposed her sexy breasts just to provoke a reaction inside Dan's underwear. Dan had stepped into the trap and blushed like a little child when he realized that Sarah had seen the bulge under his pants. Dan felt tired to death, but right now was the wrong time to sleep in case he was going to get into the groove and adjust to the time difference. A quick shower did the trick and Dan went on a shopping spree around the neighborhood. In the grocery store at the small square, he got hold of the most important basic goods and when he was back in the apartment, he brewed a cup of coffee. He took it out to his terrace. The apartment was superb. The best Dan had ever had and the central location with easy walking distance to most things got Dan in a wonderful mood. It really felt on all levels that he would be happy in his new home. In the evening Dan passed out quite early. The last 24 hours' escapades took their toll, but around midnight he was abruptly awakened by some noise in his surroundings. At first, Dan was completely disoriented, but quickly his brain woke up and then he realized that the sound was coming from the bedroom in the neighboring apartment. Apparently, the insulation of the wall did not dampen the sound waves from the other side very effectively and it was obvious that Sport Ken was having a very good time right now. The rhythmic squeaking from the bed was unmistakable and neither Sport Ken nor Sarah seemed to be discreet about what they were doing, quite the opposite. It could be heard so clearly that it almost felt like Dan was in the same room. Sarah's irresistibly sweet moans affected Dan who immediately became very horny which resulted in a rock-hard erection. Sport Ken increased the pace, and you could clearly hear their genitals bumping against each other. Sport Ken started to groan heavily, and their lustful moans got louder and louder and when Dan heard that Sarah was having an orgasm, he shot a big load all over his belly. Dan hadn't been able to keep his hands over the quilt. With a cupped hand on his stomach, Dan sauntered off to the bathroom and washed himself before crawling into bed and going back to sleep. A few hours later, he woke up again and had a tired eye open and saw that it was 4:32 a.m. Once again, it was full speed ahead with the neighbors. Sport Ken apparently hadn't had enough of Barbie... Or maybe it was the other way around. They fucked until the feathers roared. Dan could eventually hear Sport Ken muster his last strength and clearly declare that he was shooting his load deep into Sarah's pussy. "Yes, ... yes... came in me Brad... oh". Then you could hear them hugging and kissing. For a short while it became quiet and peaceful and Dan tried to go back to sleep, but the stillness was replaced by noise, clatter, and lively conversations. Brad and Sarah seemed to be doing anything but sleeping. Chapter 2 Dan eventually got up and brewed a cup of coffee. He ate breakfast in peace and quiet but accidentally spilled on his shirt. Dan understood that it was a stain that needed to be fixed immediately or it would become permanent. With the coffee thermos in one hand and the dirty sweater and shirt with lipstick in the other, he went down to the laundry room in the basement. Dan didn't have an appointment but found what he was looking for, a bench section with a stainless-steel tub that could be used for hand washing. A tumble dryer was running and apparently there was someone in the house doing the laundry. Dan put his coffee thermos aside and poured some lukewarm water and a splash of detergent. Just as he got his sweater into the tub, the door to the laundry room opened and in came Sarah. She looked like she had just gotten out of bed, and her hair was a little tousled, and she yawned widely. “What's a guy like you doing in the laundry room this early in the morning?” “Good morning, Sarah! Yes, I managed to stain my sweater...” “Oh god, your coffee smells so good I could kill for a cup, said Sarah. "Uh, I'd rather not die today," replied Dan. Go ahead, grab my coffee. It's probably cold anyway before I’m done with my sweater.” “You’re so cute”, said Sarah and took the coffee mug in her hand and leaned her ass against the countertop right next to Dan. “Oh wonderful”, Sarah said after the first mouthful of coffee. “Today I really need something to cheer me up”. Dan understood what she meant. Rummaging around all night undeniably leaves its mark. Sarah continued, "Damn, I thought my laundry would be dry by now, and I'm waiting for an important call in a few minutes.” “Could I ask you for a favor, Dan?" “Absolutely.” “Could you bring my laundry upstairs? It should be ready in just a few minutes!” “Of course," Dan replied. Dan stood with both hands in the washtub and Sarah put her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh, you're so kind! Then I'll see you again soon" said Sarah and hurried up to the apartment. Dan took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts. Sarah's presence had caused Dan to have sinful thoughts. It wasn't just that she drop-dead gorgeous. She had a charisma that Dan had never encountered before. Normally, Dan felt confident around women and was the one who always took the initiative, but in Sarah's presence, he felt like a little schoolboy. It was as if she owned everything around her, and her naturally feminine ways had made him stand at attention. By the time Dan was done removing the stains, the dryer with Sara's clothes had also stopped. He emptied the machine of clothes and immediately began to fold everything neatly before putting the freshly washed garments in the laundry bag. He recognized the olive-colored top. Damn, he remembered how great it looked on her yesterday. Dan was then shocked and embarrassed by what he held up. He quickly checked behind his back to make sure no one else saw what it was. The garment was some kind of baby blue romper in adult size with short legs and buttons at the crotch. It had long arms. Very long arms... that could be locked onto the stomach. At the front of the chest there was also a print "Mommy's big boy". What the fuck!? Dan hoped Sport-Ken wasn't sad now that his favorite piece of clothing was in the wash. Dan didn't really know what to think. Probably it was just a masquerade dress and Dan quickly proceeded to take care of the rest of the laundry, which included bedding. When Dan tried to fold one of Sarah's duvet covers, he realized that something was stuck inside. At first, he thought it might be a sock or a panty, but soon he realized that it was something else. Something that was even more astonishing than the romper. It was a baby pacifier but scaled up in adult format. And that's not all. The pacifier had a long strap with a locking device that forced the user to hold it in their mouth. Dan discreetly tucked it under the other clothes and walked up to the apartment and rang Brad and Sarah's doorbell. Dan tried to figure out how he would react if it was "Mommy's little boy" who opened the door. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be at home, so Dan put a note in the mailbox saying that he had taken the clothes up to the pool on the roof terrace. It was there that Dan had planned to spend the morning. The roof terrace turned out to be a real oasis and a huge contrast to the city's pulse down at street level. Dan was alone in the pool area, and he immediately sat down on one of the sun loungers under a parasol. The sun was shining, and Dan realized that he needed to put on sunscreen immediately. The warmth and the comfy bunk quickly made Dan fall asleep and he didn't notice that Sarah was approaching. “Hi Danny” “Uh., Hi Sarah” "Is it okay if I join you?" “Absolutely”, Dan replied, raising the backrest of the deck chair a notch. At the same time, Sarah was laying out her bath towel on the sunbed next to him. She stood with her bottom facing Dan and leaned forward to smooth out the towel. Of course, Dan couldn't help but look, and just then Sarah took the opportunity to glance back. “Do you like what you see Dan?” “Oh, sorry, Sarah. You are a very beautiful woman Sarah, but I apologize a thousand times. That was stupid of me.” “The apology is accepted, Dan, but as punishment you must put suntan lotion on my back.” She handed Dan a bottle and lay down on her stomach on the bunk. Then she unbuttoned the back of her bra. Dan poured some suntan lotion into his hand and began to rub it into her softly and gently. Dan felt ashamed and regretted staring so rudely at her buttocks. After Dan was done, Sarah stood up and held her hands over her breasts. “Is it okay for you if I sunbathe top less?” No sane person, regardless of sexual orientation, including Dan, would answer no to such a question. Sarah's impressive breasts were thus released into the open. “What about your back, Dan. Is it lubricated?” “Uh, no.” "Okay, Danny boy, lie down on your stomach and I'll fix it." Dan did as he was told, and soon he felt Sarah's hands almost caressing his back. As Sarah approached the lower back, she resolutely grabbed Dan's swim shorts with both hands and pulled them down over his buttocks. She took plenty of time to lubricate the lower back and Dan felt pitiful and uncomfortable with his pants pulled down. "You know what, Dan, this white ass actually deserves a little spanking considering your sinful looks on my buttocks," Sarah said, slapping him a little harder than Dan was prepared for. “It was rude of me to look at you like that, and… if it would feel better for you, you can do it!” Dan said jokingly. "Well, that would be a useful lesson for you," said Sarah with a smile. “You'll have to come over to my place and pull down your pants and I'll make sure you behave better next time. You can pull up your swim shorts now... young man.” Sarah then lay on her back in her deck chair and closed her eyes. It didn't take long for her breathing to change, and Dan realized that she had fallen asleep. Given her activities in bed this past night, it was no wonder she needed recovery. Dan couldn't help but admire Sarah as she lay there, looking peaceful and relaxed. Dan was amazed by her plump and naked breasts and the reaction inside his swim shorts was embarrassingly obvious. Like a tent pole, his cock stretched out his shorts. In an attempt to change his mind, Dan snuck off for a dip in the pool. The cool water did the trick and Dan leaned back against the edge of the pole and put his arms up. It didn't take long before he had company in the pool. "Oh, that was a much-needed power nap," Sarah said, and swam up to Dan. She stood up in the waist-deep water and stood in front of him. Dan had to bite his tongue to keep from staring at her lovely boobies. "Have you had time to swim in the sea?" asked Sarah. "No, not yet" I replied, "but I'm really looking forward to doing it. Mask, snorkel, and flippers were the first things I packed on my way here". “I could show you some real gems," said Sarah. “Do you have any plans for Saturday?”, she asked. “No, I don't have anything special to do this weekend, but don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a nuisance and ruin your and Brad's plans”. “Brad left early this morning. He belongs to the Navy and is on his way to a secret mission. All I know is that he will be out for at least three months. I can't believe he's so childishly fond of riding around in that submarine!” “Yes, we're all different”, said Dan, and couldn't help but think of the light blue romper. How would Brad manage without it for three months, and how on earth do you choose a life in a submarine instead of hot nights with Sarah? Dan lay there thinking. Would he sink so low and put on something as unmanly as baby clothes? Not a chance in hell. What was that couple doing? Probably quite strange things, but Dan had heard with his own ears how they had fucked both loudly and passionately, just like any heterosexual couple. Maybe it was just masquerading dress after all? Dan tried to see himself in a romper, and the very thought of it made him blush. “What are you thinking of Dan? Your thoughts seem far away”, said Sarah “Uh, well I was just thinking about, uh. I'm going to pick up my leased car today just after lunch and I'm not sure what papers I need to bring.” “A driver's license is enough, said Sarah. What kind of car are you going to have?” “Well, uh... Quite a far cry from an eco-friendly family car. A Dodge Challenger.” “Woah... Then we'll take it to the beach on Saturday”. Just before Sarah and Dan parted before lunch, Sarah said, "Thank you for folding the laundry so nicely, and you, my friend, don't forget that your little white ass is going to learn a lesson.” Sarah said the last thing with a smile and Dan had a hard time deciding if she was joking or serious. Dan began to get the feeling that she wasn't joking, and that the romper was something completely different from a masquerade dress. Chapter 3 Dan had long dreamed of having a real American muscle car with a male V8. The 6.2-liter engine with 807 hp did not disappoint him. The Challenger went like a rocket, and he had a hard time tearing himself away from the car when he had parked it in the basement garage. The white Tesla in the adjacent parking slot looked like it had a female owner, and Dan guessed it was Sarah's. Unless, of course, Brad wore feminine sunglasses and a pink scarf with his blue romper. Dan didn't have far to go to his office in the city's financial district. That's where he would hang out when he wasn't out on site. To get to the office, it was easiest to go by public transport, although it was also possible to walk. Initially, the project was far from hectic, and the team focused mainly on administration like reviewing project plans, signing contracts with suppliers, and preparing for the mobilization before the start of construction. Dan quickly found several like-minded colleagues that wanted to hang-out after work and Dan was really looking forward to Thursday's after-work at the Sports Bar near the office. The week went by quickly and soon Dan was standing there with a beer in one hand and a pool cue in the other. It was an insanely fun and wet evening and just after midnight Dan walked home to the apartment. He was far from sober, and strolling happily along the street in his neighborhood that was lined with open-air cafes when he heard a woman shouting from one of the tables. Dan turned around and saw Sarah with a friend. ” Dan, this is my best friend, Melissa.” “Hi Melissa! Nice to meet you.” “Please Dan, have a seat.” Dan barely had time to sit down before Sarah had fixed a large and strong drink for him. Dan knew it wasn't a good idea to drink more today, but he was past the stage where the wrong head started making decisions. Dan quickly forgot that he was on his way home and time really flew by and suddenly the restaurant closed. Sarah then insisted that they should continue at Dan's house. He remembered that a bottle of wine was uncorked. Also, that Sarah had said that it was now that Dan would get spanked on the bottom as punishment for staring at her butt like crazy. Dan had thought she was joking and said, "be my guest" and the two girls had quickly gotten his pants and underwear off. As the most obvious thing in the world, Dan had then agreed to lie down with his ass in the air over Sarah's thighs. Still unaware that his poor ass was going to be spanked.... for real. It had hurt. It had hurt like hell, but he had let Sarah spank him without resisting. Then everything had flowed together in a blissful mess of disconnected memories. It was somewhere there that Dan had lost consciousness. When Dan woke up, it was well past 11 o'clock in the morning. He felt better than he deserved, but it took a few seconds before his brain registered time and space. Dan thought back to yesterday and realized he didn't remember much. He had no memory of how he ended up in bed. His mouth felt as dry as sandpaper, and Dan regretted that he hadn't been more restrained in his drinking. Just the amount of alcohol he'd drunk at the Sports Bar was enough to keep him away from his new Challenger all day. Training at the gym also felt distant. No matter how he tried, his thoughts kept tracing back to yesterday. The memory lapse bothered Dan, but he felt warm inside as he thought about the evening with Melissa and especially Sarah. Dan took a deep breath and felt it start to grow down his crotch. It wasn't until he put his hand under the covers to straighten his underwear and make room for his incipient erection that he realized that everything wasn't as usual. Dan lifted the covers and looked down at his genitals. He could hardly believe it. The white diaper looked huge. Chapter 4 Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It can't be true; it can't be true. Dan opened his eyes again and looked down. ... No, no, no.... How on earth did this happen? Dan blushed and squirmed, causing the diaper to make a plastic sound. How...!? Apparently, Dan had completely lost control yesterday. Goodness knows Dan really doesn't spit in the glass but he's always good at setting boundaries and he had also done that at the Sport bar yesterday but then it had gotten out of hand. Dan stared at the diaper and felt the bulge where he knew his stiff member was struggling to blossom and get even bigger. A strange feeling of arousal and some kind of inferiority spread through Dan's body. The diaper made him horny, but he couldn't quite tell if the arousal was due to the diaper itself or to the fact that it was Sarah who had put it on. Either way, it made Dan blush. He blushed not only because he looked like a grown-up baby, but mostly because he didn't dare to admit that it felt good. After all, it was against all principles of masculinity for a normal adult man to enjoy something as childish as a diaper. Dan sat up on the bed, put his feet down on the floor. Damn it. His butt hurt, which made Dan realize that at least one memory hadn't been a drunken dream. It had really happened. He had been lying over Sarah's thighs with his pants pulled down. Dan sighed heavily and got up and walked towards the bathroom. The plastic sound of the diaper made Dan feel ridiculous and it didn't get any better when he was forced to rock forward as it didn't work to get his legs together because of the thick padding in the crotch. Arriving at the bathroom, Dan quickly pulled up the diaper nibs and was shocked by what he saw. His best friend was barely recognizable. A good layer of powder had made it chalk white but that wasn't all. All the pubic hair was gone. All of it. The sight of his clean-shaven cock made Dan's jaw drop. How on earth did that happen? Dan had zero recollections. Absolute zero. He closed his eyes and cursed himself. Why, why, why did I drink so much yesterday. Dan really needed to pee, and it felt like the peeing would never stop, but once the last drop had been squeezed out, Dan did something that surprised him. An act that made him blush and, to his surprise, gave him a powerful erection. The obvious thing would have been to throw the diaper in the bin and then jump into the shower. Instead, Dan had carefully put the diaper back exactly as it was before, and then he had gone back to the bedroom and crawled under the covers. Dan closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the soft and thick diaper enveloping his genitals. Pretty soon one of his buttocks started to itch and reflexively Dan brought one of his hands down to try to fix it. Immediately, he was reminded of how sore his ass was and that Sarah had given him a good spanking. It would be difficult to sit on a chair today. Damn it! That's what happens when you think with the wrong head. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Dan froze. Holy shit. He couldn't go and open the door as he looked now. Dan considered his options and thought it would be best to stay in bed, hoping that the visitor would think he wasn't home. That plan fell apart right away. A key was put in the door, and then he heard the front door open. It was Sarah, and she went straight to the bedroom. "Excuse me for intruding", said Sarah, “but I was a little worried about how you were feeling today, and I thought I heard you were up, so I hurried here." Sarah had two cups of coffee in her hand, and without hesitation she jumped into the bed and sat down next to Dan and gave him a cup of coffee. “You really look like you need a strengthening cup, Dan!” “What a surprise! Thank you!” “Did you have fun yesterday?”, said Sarah. “Yes, I think so!” “Think?” “Uh, well I had a lot of fun but, obviously, it was a little too much of a good thing.” “What do you mean?”, said Sarah. “Well, uh... It got a bit blurry at the end, uh, very blurry.” “Kind of pitch black?” Sarah asked. “Uh, . . .Well you could say that. “ "How lucky you were that you were in good hands, and that Melissa and I tucked you into bed! By the way, I locked your door from the outside yesterday with your keys. That's why I was able to come into your apartment just now.” “Thank you, Sarah! I sincerely apologize for losing control.” “Accepted, though with some hesitation, and I must consider giving you another round of spanking.” “Uh, No, I firmly believe that I got the point, and I will be painfully reminded of my blunder for many days to come.” “Are you sore in the butt?” “Uh. Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?” “Let's take a look!” “But no, wait...” Sarah snatched the covers from Dan, which made him embarrassed to say the least. “Look at that, a big little guy”, Sarah said. “You know, we couldn't just leave you all by yourself without protection yesterday.” Sarah stroked her hand on her diaper and grinned. "How did it feel to wake up as a little boy, Dan?” Dan really didn't want to tell the truth, that it felt good, and tried to tell a lie. “Well. I haven't had time to think about it though and I'm not in need of a thing like this it at all. Not even when I'm drunk. It's completely unnecessary.” Dan felt extremely uncomfortable about the situation and didn't even want to take the word diaper in his mouth. Diapers were only for wimps and completely out of the question for a real man. “Is it true?”, said Sarah. “I think I can see something completely different.” Sarah still had her hand on the diaper where there was a big bump. “In fact, it's a perfectly normal reaction. I know a lot of adults who gets horny on regression games just like you seem to do.” “Hey, this is not a sexual orientation or fantasy that I have. Uh, I'm an ordinary man with a traditional sexual orientation.” “Sweetie, all women can see that you are masculine, fit and have an attractive appearance, but a strong man dares to show emotions and live out his sexual desires. Now, I'm not talking about wanting to fuck your partner in the ass. I'm also not talking about men who think it's male and enough with two minutes in-and-out as soon as the lights are off. No, I'm talking about men who dare to break norms and taboos. In fact, it may be that what you consider unmanly is the manliest thing you can do. Dan, I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me should try to step outside your comfort zone. Just like you did so nicely yesterday. By-the-way Dan, there is one thing I wonder about. Have you been peeing today?” “Uh, yes. Why do you ask that?” “The diaper looks dry Darling. So, then you apparently took off the diaper before you peed and then you put it back on? “Uh, yes...” “Okey, good boy!”, said Sarah, patting her hand on the diaper. “Tomorrow at nine o'clock we go to the beach Dan. I'm sorry I must go now, but I'll see you tomorrow.” “Okay, see you then”, Dan said. “Another thing, Dan. You remember what you promised me yesterday, don't you?” “Uh, well, not exactly." “We'll get to it later," said Sarah, with a subtle smile. Chapter 5 It was a very quiet Friday for Dan. He had spent most of the day in front of the TV, but twice he had been down to the garage and sat in the car and opened the bonnet and admired the shiny V8. Dan had a craving to go for a ride, but he realized that it wasn't possible because his body still had alcohol in his system. On top of that, his buttocks were incredibly sore, and he wouldn't be able to sit for very many minutes before the pain became excruciating. His ass kept reminding him of the insanely unmanly things Sarah and Melissa had done to him yesterday. He couldn't believe he'd let it happen and felt a lump of unease in his stomach. Dan realized that he would be "smoked" for time and eternity if it came out that he had allowed himself to be spanked on the buttocks and slept in a diaper. Apparently, he had also promised something he didn't remember, and he bitterly regretted that he had been stoned and lost control. Dan really hated situations where he didn't have complete control and now, he had messed up a lot. To make matters worse, he began to have warm feelings for Sarah, which made the situation even more complicated. Especially after she was in a relationship with Brad and Dan really didn't want to get an entire submarine crew on his neck. Sarah was forbidden fruit. At the same time, Sarah had shown interest in Dan in a way that felt more than friendly, and Dan didn't really know how to handle the situation. Sarah made him horny, but he'd never forget that she'd beating him up like the worst imaginable little hooligan. His male self-image had taken a big hit and Dan told himself that what had happened was an isolated drunken thing, a one-time thing and something that would never be repeated. Now he was going to cover up all his tracks. It was just that Dan was drawn to Sarah as if he were a small piece of iron next to a giant magnet, and her powers of persuasion were incomparably effective. She would always get what she wanted, and Dan was horrified by what it would lead to. He felt ambivalent. A part of him said no, no, stop, that's a dead end, but his head between his legs wanted something else. But there was something special about Sarah that he couldn't put his finger on, and he knew almost nothing about her. He had no idea about her past or what she did for a living, and something told him that Sarah had given birth to a child. She had a few little streaks on her sexy belly that Dan associated with girls who had been pregnant. Dan realized he had a lot to figure out. Sarah felt satisfied as she packed the parcels into her Tesla. The delivery of the special things she had ordered had been delivered much faster than expected. Now there was an opportunity to move forward a little faster with Dan than she had originally intended. Yesterday it had been exactly ten years since her husband had died in a climbing accident. Steve had really been extreme in everything he undertook, even sexually, and that's what Sarah had fallen for. However, she had always had a feeling that Steve's challenging lifestyle would one day be his death. It had taken time to get over Steve, but Sarah got a lot of help from her closest friends, and she could see that time heals all wounds, although she would carry a scar with her for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, it seemed almost hopeless to find a new love, but Sarah did not compromise on her high standards. It would be allowed to take the time required. Now, however, a person had appeared out of nowhere. Dan. Already at first glance it had felt right. His friendly eyes and athletic body made him easy to like, but it was his attitude that made him highly interesting. Despite his somewhat tough macho style, he had blushed precariously at their first meeting and Sarah had sensed that behind the male façade there was something completely different that was much softer. Sarah's first impressions had turned out to be 100 percent accurate. When Dan had been drunk, Sarah had tested him and just as Sarah suspected, Dan had shown himself to be playfully compliant and could take a step back without in any way coming across as a paralyzed sissy. He was a rough diamond who would need a little help to become Sarah's obedient little boy, but Sarah new exactly what was needed to get him there. Sarah was punctual and knocked on Dan's door just as agreed. “Hi Dan! You haven't forgotten about me and that we're going to the beach today, have you?” Dan looked alert and excited, and Sarah understood that Dan was just like any boy, regardless of age. They love beach life and swimming in the sea. “Hi Sarah! I certainly haven't forgotten about you. In all honesty, I've been longing for this excursion all week and I’m ready to hit the road”, Dan said. “Let's go right away then!”, said Sarah. “It's going to be so much fun to ride in your new car. I saw it in the garage next to my Tesla yesterday. It really is a beauty!” “Yes, of course it is! I've never had anything like it, but I thought you only live once and I did well in the negotiation with my employer so yes, now it's just a matter of sitting back and enjoying.” The V8 rumbled nicely as they swung out of the garage and Dan felt like a king. For him, this was a boyhood dream come true. The muscle car was awesome and really had all the power and beauty that he had been longing for, but it was still the travel company that contributed the most to Dan's happiness right now. Sarah was truly enchantingly beautiful. She looked relaxed and ran her hand through her blonde hair to straighten a streak. Then she looked at Dan with her brown mottled eyes. It didn't matter which part of Sarah Dan rested his eyes on. No matter where, a warm tingling sensation spread that made him want to hold her. Dan realized, however, that he had better not show these feelings. Sarah already had Brad and he really didn't want to risk his new friendship with Sarah. The road to the beach was incredibly beautiful but narrow and curvy and Dan cruised along at a leisurely pace. After half an hour, Sarah suggested they stop by a beach bar and have a cup of coffee. Perfect, Dan thought, as his bruised ass had begun to bother him. A few minutes of breathing space in a standing position would do the trick. Sarah understood very well what Dan was going through but couldn't help but enjoy the situation because Dan seemed to have taken his punishment with a happy mind. “Well, Dan said, the sports seats on that damn car don't seem to be suitable for a freshly spanked ass at all.” “Oh yes, said Sarah. It's just that you've forgotten to put on the diaper, Dan.” “Uh, he, he, yes, it would have been nice and soft” Dan said jokingly. “But as a completely inexperienced person in the field, you don't realize how to relieve the pain." “Before I'm done with you, Dan, you'll be an expert”. Dan couldn't quite tell if she was joking or serious, but Dan suspected that she was testing his reaction and that there was more to what she was saying than just a joke. Dan grinned and tried to think carefully before commenting. “Well then, I guess I'll have to get used to you adding color to my life. It's going to be standing tickets from now on”. “Darling, there are other ways to make yourself an obedient boy too.” “Ha, ha... That was my suspicion, but the question is what is the least bad?” “You'll have to try it out, Dan... In any case, they have very good coffee here.” Dan and Sarah sat down at a table and Dan grimaced a little as he put his butt down. "Poor little thing", said Sarah, grinning. “It must have been a memorable evening for you last Thursday.” “Well, truth be told, I have very few recollections of what happened. By-the-way, what was it that I had promised you in the wee hours of the morning? You said you'd tell me a little later.” “Are you sure you want to know Dan?” “Yes, actually I do. I'm ashamed of that memory lapse and for me it's important to be honest. If I've promised something, then I must fulfill it. A drunken evening is no excuse for not keeping my promise.” “Okay Dan. Then I'm going to take out my phone and show you a video that I recorded. This happened when Melissa and I were trying to get you into your diaper and tuck you into bed.” What Dan saw next made him white and shocked for real. Suddenly, he realized where the disconnected piece of the puzzle fit in. The memory that he thought was just a drunken dream. “Dan, we're going to take that step tonight!”, said Sarah and interrupted his thoughts. Dan realized he was pushed into a corner and took a deep breath and sighed. “That'll be our little secret”, Sarah said. Chapter 6 Dan nodded cautiously and then became very quiet. Sarah let that sink in and left him alone with his own thoughts. Yes, she thought. Now I've got him on the hook. “The beach is waiting for us, Dan! I'm just going to powder my nose on the ladies, then we're off!” The atmosphere was a little tense when Dan started the car, but Sarah took it in her stride and took out her phone and texted Melissa. "He's seen the😊 video. You should have seen his shocked expression!!! ... but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to do it again..." The answer was immediate" 🧡 🥰 😍 🧡 "What are you thinking about Dan?", said Sarah. “Oh, I'm sorry that I'm a little quiet", said Dan. “It's kind of uh, quite a lot to take in. I would never have thought that..” “But you stick to what you promised, right?” “Uh, I... I guess so.” “But come on, Dan. Cheer up!” “I'm sorry, Sarah. I promise. Just give me some time.” “Take the time you need Dan!” After about 30 minutes, Sara pointed to a road sign with information about an exit a few hundred meters ahead. “Turn left at that exit, then it's not far to go”, said Sarah. A few minutes later, they drove into a large fenced-in area. "This is an all-inclusive hotel for members only", said Sarah. “Everything you could possibly need is here. Gym, pool, tennis courts, spa, restaurants, cinema and of course a very nice beach strip. Since I'm a Gold member, I'm allowed to bring visitors with me.” "It looks great", Dan said, when parking in front of a large building that looked like it contained a gigantic lobby and beyond it you could see the sea, but the beach was completely hidden and could not be seen. “Are you okay Dan?”, said Sarah. “Yes, but I can't really let go of that video. Uh, I can't quite make ends meet... how?” "Dan, don't think about it right now. Once we're settled on the beach, we have all the time in the world to talk. All right!” Dan nodded and locked the car. “Come on Dan, first we're going to the locker room and then we'll report to the reception.” Men and women changed in the same place, which Dan thought was a bit strange, but he didn't say anything about his thoughts. “Here is my locker where we can store all our things.”, said Sarah Dan opened his backpack to get his swim shorts, but Sarah stopped him. “You can't bring anything in”, said Sarah. “Okay, I get it, but I'm just going to put on my swim shorts.” “No, Dan. You must leave everything in the cupboard. Valuables, phone, camera clothes. Everything must be locked up. Including swimwear. This is a nudist resort with strict rules. You will be naked all day, Dan”. Dan took a deep breath and gathered his courage. He didn't know if he was going to be able to do this. Showing himself naked was the worst thing he knew, and it had been that way ever since he was a child. He remembered the agonies he had had every time there was gymnastics at school. At least then he would have had the opportunity to wrap himself in a bath towel and only show off his naked body to a few male schoolmates. Now Dan would walk naked among complete strangers of different genders and ages. It wasn't that Dan needed to be ashamed of his body, quite the opposite. He was slim and fit and had a physique that most people dreamed of, but that was of no importance now. He really didn't want to walk around naked and especially not considering the way his spanked ass looked. It was as colorful as a traffic light, and besides, he didn't have a shred of hair down there. Everything was shaved off and his family happiness looked like a porno cock or like a little boy's dick. Dan was close to panicking, and he tried to think of a way to back out, but he just stood there completely paralyzed and felt awkward and helpless. Sarah's huge breasts were already out in the open and Dan felt a certain thing between his legs start to move. He understood that sooner or later it would lead to disaster. Dan wouldn't last a whole day with a naked beauty like Sarah's without getting an erection. It just didn't work, and the consequences would be as embarrassing as it gets. I'm sure Brad would hear that Sarah had been walking around on the beach with Dan, the sissy. The one with the spanked ass and the cock that stood out like the Empire State Building. Brad and his submarine buddies were going to kill him. Sarah was now in the process of taking off her panties and Dan closed his eyes and tried to shift his thoughts to something else. “What are you thinking about Dan”, asked Sarah? “Uh, yes… " “Dan, take off your clothes now!” Dan reluctantly did as she said, and it took some time, but in the end, he was standing there in his birthday suit. “Good boy”, Sarah said, taking him by the hand. “Now we go to the reception and sign up”. The reception was gigantic with a large open lobby area where naked people crisscrossed. Dan was so nervous that he hardly knew where to go. He stood next to Sarah and turned his ass towards the counter, dropping his hands down in front of him to cover himself. When they were finally about to leave for the beach, a “male” couple called out to Sarah. “Hello Sarah!” “Oh, you're just getting prettier and prettier every day!” “Hi Jeff. Hi Rob! Thank you, that was kindly said. It's always a pleasure to meet you guys! How are you? Still on your honeymoon?” “You bet!” “This is Dan, said Sarah, “My new special neighbor” “Hello Dan! Nice to meet you!” “Nice to meet you too”, said Dan. “You'll have to excuse us”, Sarah said, "but we need to go for a swim!" Jeff grinned broadly and then said to Sarah. “I see that your "neighbor" really must have been a disobedient boy!” “Exactly”, Sarah said, stroking Dan's buttocks with one hand. “You know Jeff, Dan only had to lie with his ass bare over my thighs for a few minutes before he became a wonderfully harmonious and affectionate little boy.” “Come on, Danny boy! Let's go swimming.” Chapter 7 Dan felt his chin drop when he heard what Sarah had just said to Jeff. He turned black as a thundercloud and was just about to roar but stopped at the last moment. He didn't want to attract any extra attention. He wanted to be invisible and crawl under a rock and disappear. Sarah, on the other hand, enjoyed it like never before and happily showed off Dan as her new trophy. Before they were down on the beach, she had talked to about ten more friends. Friends who had been amused by Dan's colorful buttocks. Dan took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. The cylinder head had almost flown off several times, but somehow, he had calmed his anger and balanced on a slack line and come over to the other side. Now he had a real adrenaline rush, and an unexpected and nice feeling began to spread through Dan's body. Even though he'd just been through a minor hell where Sarah had presented him as her little “slave boy," which had been insanely humiliating, he felt happy. Horny. Proud. He wasn't proud that she'd presented him as the little guy who was raised with his pants down. No, he was proud to be the chosen one. In front of many of her friends, Dan had been presented as her "property," as a boyfriend and not as a neighbor. Sport Ken was not going to be happy. Sarah had had a long discussion with Melissa last night about the best way to “catch” Dan and both agreed that the best way to do it was to go hard and "throw him in the water to see if he swam”. Sarah had been a little worried that he might freak out, but her gut feeling had been right. Dan was a fighter who didn't give up easily. He was the docile guy Sarah had been looking for, but she also knew that Dan was having a hard time with himself right now, and especially with the nudist life that seemed completely new to him. Sarah couldn't help but smile at his childish shyness and fear of showing himself naked. “Look at this Dan, this will be our little oasis for today and a place where we get much needed shade.” A little secluded among the palm trees and flowerbeds was the most exclusive sunbed Dan had ever seen, and Sarah could tell by Dan's body language that he was shining like the sun and liked the place. “Woah exclaimed Dan.” The sunbed, or rather the "four-poster bed", was big enough to accommodate two people and it was equipped with everything you could possibly need for a day at the beach. A white semi-transparent mosquito net hung down the sides. “I'm glad you like it, Dan. I suggest we start with a bath, but before we do that, I need to help you get smeared with sunscreen. Can you give me the bottle to your right, please!” Sarah immediately started rubbing it on Dan's back. When she got down to his bruised buttocks, she stood to the side of Dan and asked him to stand a little wider with his legs. Sarah had one hand on Dan's stomach as she gently rubbed his bruised buttocks. She then put plenty of suntan oil on both hands and let one hand slowly find its way between Dan's buttocks. “Oompf”. Sarah suddenly pushed a finger deep into Dan's ass while her other hand quickly encircled his cock which immediately became rock hard. Sarah then pressed her body against Dan's right side. The closeness of Sarah's warm pussy against Dan's thighs and the touch of her stiff nipples against his chest became too much. Dan exploded. The first load of sperms hit a nearby flower bed and the second ended up in the sand. The rest flowed out over Sarah's right hand. Dan was breathing heavily, and his cheeks turned rosy as if he had run a marathon and he was speechless. “Oops! Now I firmly believe that both of us need to wash ourselves off in the sea.”, said Sarah. Chapter 8 Hand in hand they had walked down to the water and Dan was in a dream. Sarah had set his heart on fire, and he had a hard time taking in what had just happened. Ideally, he would have liked them to be alone on a deserted beach right now and not here in this bizarre place. Then he might have felt more comfortable being naked, but now in the water he felt better since no one could see his naked body. Sarah put her arms around Dan and jumped on top of him, locking her legs behind his back. Then she pushed her pussy up against Dan's now semi-flaccid cock. “What are you thinking of Dan?” “Yes, I'm thinking of a very enigmatic woman who I would like to know a great deal more about, said Dan.” “Oh, and how did you think that would happen?” Before Dan could answer, they were united in a fiery kiss. Dan had dreamed of just that, but he had never dared to believe that it would happen for real... And so openly. Dan felt a bit guilty when he couldn't let go of the fact that Sarah was having a relationship with Brad and now, he had crossed a forbidden line and tasted Brad's "property". But now there was no turning back. Dan would go all the way. Sarah and Dan swam out to a floating platform and Dan really missed his mask and flippers that were in Sarah's locker. But considering what the bottom looked like, there wasn't much to see, especially since he didn't see any coral reefs. When they got out of the water, Dan had hoped they would go straight to their private corner, but Sarah had other plans. They were going to walk along the long strip of beach and the consequence was one long "walk of shame" for Dan where his bruised butt was shown to hundreds of bathers. Dan only got some respite for a short while when they stopped at a simple beach bar and had lunch. There he had sat as if enchanted, admiring the beautiful Sarah and her golden-brown plump breasts. When he looked at this wonderful woman, he couldn't believe that she just an hour ago had grabbed is cock and given him a hand job just like that among all other nudists. Dan was sure that at least one younger woman had seen his "money shot" but at that stage it felt so lovely that Dan had lost the concept and did not care about people in the surrounding. But Dan had become extremely embarrassed, and he felt like he still was blushing even though it had been a couple of hours since it happened. Although it had been extremely embarrassing, it was very liberating. The ejaculation had made him sexually numb and dampened his horniness, which was just what he needed to get through a day among all the nudists without his cock standing like a rocket. Unfortunately, the effect of Sarah's gracious act began to wear off and Dan began to have obvious trouble to avoid erection. However, the cooling waters of the sea had come to Dan's rescue when it was at its most urgent. Side by side, they had then laid down in the four-poster bed and Dan had closed his eyes and felt a little less stressed by being naked. He was no longer in the spotlight. Then he had thought just like a child. "If I close my eyes, I can't be seen." "Dan, I've been thinking about something," said Sarah. “Do you remember telling me you were so drunk the other day that you didn't remember what happened.” “Well, yeah but.” “Then you don't remember what it felt like to be spanked on the bottom, and you haven't really experienced your punishment at all.” “Uh, no but.” “Dan, I think we'd have to do it again so that you really learn your lesson. Dan, what do you say. Shall we get it out of the way here and now?” Dan got a lump in his stomach. He'd let her spank him in a moment of weakness when he'd been drunk, but he'd let it happen again in the middle of hundreds of bathers in the open. No, that was out of the question. Besides, he could hardly imagine how much it would hurt. Dan's ass was still extremely sore. “But Dan, there is another way that you might rather prefer.” Sarah whispered in Dan's ear and kissed him on the cheek. Dan hesitated but took a deep breath before changing his position and leaning forward and kissing Sarah. A little tentative at first, but when he let his tongue find its way in, he felt Sarah moan and put both hands around Dan's neck and pressed her pussy harder against Dan. Their place on the beach was away from the crowd, and the draping of the four-poster bed certainly provided some privacy. But these circumstances were far from sufficient to conceal what they were doing. Sarah enjoyed herself to the fullest. Something she also showed very loudly. Dan continued to stimulate Sarah's most intimate and sacred part of her body and he sucked her clit into his mouth. Dan was sure that Sarah's moans of pleasure could be heard over a large area of the surroundings, but he continued frantically. Dan's "work" quickly yielded results, and Sarah made no effort whatsoever to quell her lusts. The orgasm was loud to say the least. Dan then lay down by Sarah's side and closed his eyes. He didn't want to look around. He didn't want to know who had heard and seen what had just happened. Luckily, Dan fell asleep. Chapter 9 When Dan woke up a few minutes later, he was hot and felt like he needed a cooling swim. Dan didn't want to wake Sarah, who apparently had also fallen asleep so he tiptoed off alone. The sand was painfully warm, and Dan had to run down to the beach to keep his feet from burning. That suited Dan very well because he really wanted to minimize the time when his naked body was exposed. As soon as he had water up to his waist, he could relax. It was empty out on the pontoon and Dan swam there and sat down on the edge. Dan was happy to see that his buttocks were starting to feel a lot less sore. As he sat out there, no one could see his bruised ass or clean-shaven cock. He didn't have to be ashamed, which felt like a relief. After 5-10 minutes, he saw that Sarah was on her feet and on her way into the water. Dan waved happily and Sarah waved back and started swimming out to the pontoon. A short while later, Sarah was sitting next to him, and they were united in a long wet kiss. "You know what, Dan, it's time to go home now." "The last man on shore is a looser”, said Dan and jumped into the water but Sarah was quickly out of the starting block and turned out to be an extremely good swimmer and they came ashore at about the same time. “I'm deeply impressed", said Dan. “Where did you learn to swim that fast? "In college a very long time ago", Sara said with a smile. Just outside the entrance to the dressing room, Sarah met more acquaintances. Two good-looking girls that Dan suspected were more than just girlfriends. "This is Dan", Sarah said, putting a hand on Dan's bottom. "Dan, this is Cindy and Jane”. "Hey Dan", said Jane. "Are you going home already?" “Yes, it's been a stressful day for Dan”, said Sarah. “It's the first time he's been in a place like this and he's not comfortable being naked. Sarah looked at Dan with a gracious look. We'll have to come here more times, won't we, Dan? How about hanging out with Jane and Cindy next time?” “Yes, that would be great”, Jane said. “How about a lunch this week where we can make some plans?” “I'll call and book a table on Monday", said Sarah. Oh, I have so much to tell you! But girls, you'll have to excuse us. We need to go home and make sure Dan gets his diaper on.” “Okey”, said Jane. “Please let me know if you need a disciplined babysitter who takes care of his little white ass!” “Thanks for the offer, Jane”, said Sarah with a smile. When Dan pulled out of the parking lot, he had a thousand thoughts in his head. The only question was where to start. Sarah's relationship with Sport Ken worried him a lot, but what bothered him the most was that Sarah’s tits appeared to be filled with breast milk. It had been clearly visible in the video where Dan was stoned but he had also seen signs of it today at the beach. Dan's dream car rumbled wonderfully, and Dan felt like a king. Now he was a real man again who wasn't naked. Slowly but surely, his mind began to return to a normal state where he once again had time to reflect and reason logically. It was hard to explain, but earlier today he had been subjected to such great trials that he had completely gone into some kind of defense mechanism. He hadn't had the energy to discuss sensitive issues with Sarah and get answers to all the things he wondered about. It was no exaggeration to name this day the most bizarre day of Dan's life, and it was far from over. When Dan finally mustered up the courage to talk to Sarah, he found that she had fallen asleep. Sarah looked calm and peaceful, and Dan tried to drive extra softly so as not to ruin her beauty sleep. Dan warmed up inside when he thought about how physically close, they would have been today. At the same time, he had a lump in his stomach. This mysterious and wonderful woman was extremely erratic. She had introduced Dan to a whole new world that was completely upside down. A world that was very stressful but at the same time extremely exciting. Dan was getting closer to the garage and hadn't noticed that Sarah was looking at him. She didn't look at her surroundings, just at Dan. “Dan. Thank you for a wonderful day. What you've done today has meant a lot to me and you know what. In front of me I see a wonderful guy. A guy who has shown mental strength and made this day amazing. Are you ready for our little secret?” “Well, I really don't know. This is hard for me and.” “Dan, to me you're like an open book. We both know that this is a completely uncharted territory for you. Something you never even thought existed or have fantasized about but trust me Dan. I can see from afar that behind that traditional male facade, a flame has started to burn. We're going to take care of it together Dan. This will be the first day of your new life.” Chapter 10 Dan was visibly moved by the gravity of the moment as Sarah dragged him into her apartment. His heart was pounding. He was in love in a way he hadn't experienced before and today Sarah had literally pulled his pants down and steered him into a whole new world. A world where Dan was expected to abandon his masculine ideals and take orders from Sarah. Today there would be no "after-beach" with ice-cold beer and watching sports on the TV. Sarah had other plans. Dan had never been to her apartment before, and he felt a bit guilty. Dan was in Brad's territory and betrayed him behind his back and apparently Sarah had no problem cheating. What if Brad's submarine is broken and, on its way, home? He could show up at any time. If Brad were to see Dan here, the atmosphere would be really bad, but it was too late for Dan to pull out now. “What are you thinking of Dan?”, said Sarah “Uh, I'm thinking about that video you showed today.” It wasn't entirely true, but Dan had been playing it in his mind every other minute all day. Before he'd seen it, Dan had been quite annoyed that Sarah and Melissa had shaved off all the hair between his legs, but the video had made him realize that he had only himself to blame. Melissa had asked for permission. Dan replayed the scene and dialogue from Sarah's video: “Dan, what do you say about reliving old childhood memories? Kind of like when you were a little baby," said Sarah. “That would be cool," Dan said. “Bring out the time machine and let's go. He, he.” At the time of filming, Dan had been soaked and on a completely different planet. He didn't remember any of this, and the crazy thing was that it didn't show up on the video. “Okay Dan, let's bring out the "time machine" and turn you into a little kid's butt then?” ”Ha, ha, yes, hi, hi...... good luck!” “And what are the babies wearing Dan?” “He, he. Nappies, ha, ha” “Exactly. And then they don't have any hair down there, do they, Dan.” “Not a fluff said Dan, he, he.” Melissa had already started to unbutton Dan's pants and then you couldn't see any details, but you could hear a razor and Dan giggling. “Hi, hi no, not there, no, ha, ha, please, hi, hi, hi... oooh, ohmpf. What, oh... no....” You couldn't see what was happening, but Melissa and Sarah had been doing something with Dan somewhere where the sun isn't shining. Then the thick white diaper had made its entrance. It was the same diaper that Sarah now had in her hand. Dan felt a little anxious and he could feel his heart pounding. Now he was out on thin ice, but he didn't want to turn back. Sarah had set his heart on fire, and he wanted to follow her wherever she went. At this moment, however, Dan wasn't sure where to take him. She was unpredictable, strong-willed and at times very dominant. Dan had given her the little finger, and now she had taken the whole hand. "Sweetie, you look like you've just looked death in the face, but you've done this before when you were a kid and then it was the most natural thing in the world. You just need to change your mindset a little bit.” “Yes, I know, but... is it really...” “You know what, Dan. I have a little special "man cave" for you. Shall we go in and make you at home? “I'm sorry Sarah, but it doesn't feel right to Brad that.” “Dan. It was a rhetorical question. Am I going to have to give you another round of spanking on the bottom for you to get it? Is that what you want, Dan?” “No, no, please. " “Darling, let go of Brad and don't think too much. The only thing that matters to you right now is to do exactly as I say. Nothing more, nothing less. Got it?” “Okay Sarah.” "Good, let's go in and put the diaper on." Dan blushed when he saw what was in the "nursery." It felt like entering a fairytale world. There was everything you could possibly need to take care of a big little boy. Sarah couldn't seriously mean that... A little shocked, Dan looked around and barely noticed that Sarah had already unbuttoned his trousers and was quickly helping him get all his clothes off. Dan was speechless, but suddenly, he was lying on his back on the giant changing table. Then he closed his eyes and tried to gather his courage. This was really freaked out and he was ashamed. His cheeks were tomato-red, and he felt embarrassingly unmanly. His rock-hard erection felt very bothersome and revealed a lot more about his state of mind than what he wanted to show. Sarah kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear. "This is going very well, Dan, but you have to lift your bottom so I can get the diaper under you. Good, and now you're going to pull your knees up towards your stomach.” With some hesitation, Dan did as he had been told and was ashamed when laing down in the extremely awkward position, thinking back to the weak moment in the drunken video where he had put himself in trouble. In the video Sarah had held out Brad's freshly washed romper and the "forced pacifier" and asked Dan if he would consider a try-out session with "Mistress Sarah". Dan's cockhead had done the thinking and he had immediately said yes. He'd wanted to back out and say no all afternoon, but he knew Sarah wouldn't take a straightforward no. He knew she would pulverize his argument no matter what reason he indicated to back out of. The path of least resistance for Dan was therefore to keep his word, even if it stung. A little while in her fantasy world and then he would have fulfilled his promise. When that was over, Dan hoped that the door to her bedroom would be wide open, but Dan began to understand that he needed to climb a mountain to get there. Sarah felt satisfied. Finally, she had her POV in place that she could dominate and play with and transform to a little boy. It had seemed a long way off that she would find him, but now the miracle had happened. He lay there on the changing table with a rock-hard boner and let Sarah rub baby oil on his genitals, blissfully unaware of what was about to happen. “Dan, we haven't talked about this but.” Dan hadn't had time to react when Sarah shoved a finger up his ass, and that wasn't all. A big pill went in, and it was pushed in far, far in. “But Sarah..., uh, what, was that!?” "Well, happy pill, Saturday candy, call it what you will, but it will soon dissolve in your bottom and make you nice and calm.” Dan's face turned bright red when he realized that Sarah had drugged him. Demonstratively, she left her finger in his ass to ensure that the pill would never see the light of day again. The suppository immediately began to dissolve, and Dan was amazed at how quickly he became weak and numb. It was just as if the signals from his brain were no longer getting through to his muscles. Physical strength has always been a central part of Dan's self-image and a strong symbol of his masculinity. The pill was now taking away all that and breaking him down from a self-confident and self-sufficient man to a "sissy" without the slightest bit of power. “Uh, Sarah. Do we have a stop word?” “No, darling, we don't, and we don't need to. I'll take over now and make sure you're well.... And from what I'm seeing, it seems like you're enjoying yourself pretty much.” Sarah stroked her fingers over Dan's fully erect cock and smiled. Dan realized that he was trapped in Sarah's clutches in a way he hadn't expected and tried to fight back, but he didn't stand a chance against the sedative that mercilessly took over and made him sedated. Everything became calm and Dan now had only a very weak consciousness, not far from anesthesia. Things flickered by and suddenly he was lying with his head in Sarah's arms and could see how her wonderful and naked breasts were getting closer and closer. Dan blushed and hesitated. A grown man can't... That is extremely inappropriate. However, the spinal reflexes took over and Dan opened his mouth and began to suck on her stiff nipple as if he had done nothing else in his life. Soon Dan felt his mouth fill with the lukewarm milk. Chapter 11 Dan was woken up by the alarm clock's annoying beep and stretched out his arm to reach the power off button. Shit. Dan got an unpleasant surprise when he realized that it was already Monday morning and that he had a big memory lapse. Sunday was completely gone, and Dan couldn't remember a single detail. Under the covers, he could see what he had already suspected. The plastic sound came from the thick white diaper. Oh my god! What have I gotten myself into, Dan thought, scratching his tired eyes and trying to think clearly. The most important thing right now was to get his ass out of the wagon and get ready quickly. Dan hated being late. He hurried into the bathroom and when he took off his diaper, he saw that a message had been written with a black marker: "Sarah's baby boy". Dan was now like a robot, trying to do his usual morning routine of shaving and showering. A warm feeling spread inside him when he realized that Sarah had laid out clean clothes on the stool next to the shower. A pleasant surprise awaited in the kitchen as well. The table was already set for breakfast and Sarah had loaded the coffee maker. Dan exhaled when he felt he was going to be on time. "Oh Sarah, you're an angel Dan thought.” The morning wasn't exactly the most productive working day of Dan's career. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about Sarah, and there were no limits to how crazy his relationship with Sarah had become. He blushed when he thought about the fact that he had breastfed her tits, and Dan still couldn't figure out how it all came together. Sarah must have a real baby somewhere, otherwise she can't have milk in her breasts. Googling breast milk didn't make Dan much wiser. It seemed unlikely that a woman would produce breast milk without pregnancy. In other words, there must be a child somewhere, but Sarah hasn't mentioned anything, so maybe it was a sensitive story. His stomach began to rumble, and Dan felt that he had seen enough of the area for the upcoming construction site. His colleagues had already left to meet a supplier who was quite uninteresting for Dan's involvement in the project, so he had made other plans for the rest of the day. First it was a lunch on his own, which today was something he was looking forward to. It wasn't very common for him to do that, but today was one of those days when he needed some time for himself. Dan had lunch at a fast-food place he had seen along the way. The burger didn't qualify as the best he'd ever eaten and just as he was about to get up and walk to the car, his phone beeped. A message from Sarah. "I'm thinking of you sweetie 🥰 ... And the diapers are waiting for you in the changing room. Knock on my door at 7:00 p.m., without a thread on your body. Late arrival can be painful." The message didn't exactly make it easier for Dan to concentrate on work. It had been difficult enough before, but now it was basically impossible. No matter how hard he tried, his mind kept circling around Sarah. He had fulfilled his promise to Sarah and done all the things he had promised in the video. Would he continue to allow himself to be treated like a child? Dan grabbed a coffee mug from the restaurant and got in the car. He started the engine and closed his eyes. The rumble from the V8 was deafeningly beautiful and made him just as impressed every time. Immediately, he became to feel like a king. He was back in the saddle where he was in full control. He was the cool male Dan and not that sissy who ran around naked with a spanked behind. Now it was time unleash his muscle car. Dan put on his black aviator glasses and put the gearbox in drive mode and pressed the throttle so that there were black imprints on the asphalt. Today there would be no more work. A few hours later, when Dan parked next to Sarah's white Tesla, he had a tension in his body that he had never felt before. He wanted to be physically close to Sarah, but at the same time it was very stressful that she was constantly challenging his male ego. The worst part was that Dan didn't dare to admit that he was attracted by the insanely sick and perverted world that surrounded her. A world that Sarah had opened the door to and that was so embarrassing that Dan blushed whenever he thought about it. Would anyone find out that he was walking around in a diaper and... breastfed Sarah's breasts, he would be smoked for time and eternity. It was only Sarah and Melissa who knew about it and hopefully it would stay there. Worse was the visit to the nudist beach, where Sarah had shown him off as her special little property. Shit! What if someone at his new job had been there? Dan envisioned an article on his client's intranet: "This is our supervisor Dan and his freshly spanked ass. In his spare time, Dan likes to suck on boobs and walk around in a diaper." Dan clenched his teeth and realized that he couldn't change what had already happened, and despite the worry, a pleasant warmth spread through Dan's body. He felt excited, but there was no denying that he also had butterflies in his stomach. Would he really dare to stand naked in the stairwell and knock on Sarah's door? He wanted nothing more than to be close to her, very close and if it had been up to him, they would have spent the whole evening hugging, kissing, making love. But to get there completely naked and then be dominated? Dan thought back and forth. What would he do? Would he step out of this crazy world and text the flight attendant or maybe pick up some ordinary girl and start a normal relationship? He was ashamed when he took off his clothes and tried to prepare himself mentally. His heart was pounding when he finally dared to go out into the stairwell and ring Sarah's doorbell, exactly at 7:00 p.m. When the door opened, Dan got a slight shock. “Hey Dan!” It wasn't Sarah who opened the door, but Jane, one of the girls Sarah had introduced him to on the nudist beach. “Hey Jane!” “Oh, you remembered me, Dan!” “Uh, yes absolutely Jane.” Dan really remembered the first time they met and how embarrassing he'd felt standing there with his ass bare and ashamed. Jane was now dressed in a sexy tight summer dress, and she grinned broadly when she saw that Dan was completely naked. Dan's cheeks immediately turned bright red, and he did his utmost to hide his noblest body part, which didn't go so well. Dan had an impressive boner. "Sarah's in the kitchen," Jane said. “Come on in.” Dan was as ashamed as a dog and wanted to run into the nearest closet and close the door and turn off the lights, but a little tentatively he followed Jane into the living room where Cindy was also sitting. Sarah was on her way into the living room with a teapot and tray of cups. Sarah lit up like the sun when she saw Dan. "Excuse us girls, but I need to take Dan to the changing room. We'll be right back. Come on Dan and let's go get your diaper on.” If there was anything that could be even more stressful than showing off naked, and especially in front of three very sexy girls, Dan couldn't think of anything worse than walking around in a diaper. Sarah understood that Dan was trying to find an excuse to quickly return to his own apartment and acted quickly while still slightly shocked that Sarah had visitors and that he was the only one without clothes. She took a firm hold of his stiff member and dragged him with her to her specially decorated room. It was a very quiet Dan who came into the living room, hand in hand with Sarah. Dan hardly knew where to go. He felt terribly uncomfortable, but he was surprised that he did not feel depressed or angry. Completely unexpected he had become randy and curious. "Dan, do you remember we met Cindy and Jane on Saturday?", asked Sarah. “Uh, yes." “You know what, Dan. You and I have just received an invitation to their wedding.” “Okey, congratulations”, said Dan to Cindy and Jane.” When, where?” "We've been waiting for the right moment for quite some time, but finally the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place," said Jane. In fact, it will be already this Saturday at "The Reef".” Even though Dan had a blank face and felt extremely uncomfortable with being forced to wear a huge diaper, he managed to get a genuine smile on his face. Cindy and Jane looked blissful, and Dan rejoiced in their happiness. Dan didn't know much about the area, but he knew about "The Reef." He had hoped that he would never have to set foot in that strange nudist place again. Cindy and Jane sat on the couch grinning at Dan's pangs of conscience. Sarah sat down in one of the armchairs and put a tea ball in her cup. “Come here Dan”, said Sarah. “While my tea is brewing, you've got a job to do.” Sarah held up a pair of black panties and demonstratively dropped them to the floor. Then she pulled up her skirt and clearly showed where Dan was going to kiss her. At first Dan thought that what just happened was not for real, but it was. She really wanted him to do it right here and now in the middle of a conversation with Cindy and Jane. Dan knelt and approached Sarah's vagina as she put her legs up on Dan's shoulders and embraced his head with both hands. Sarah was really wet and very sensitive. Obviously, she had been longing for this moment and Dan wasn't going to disappoint her. It didn't take long before Sarah began to moan heavily, and the orgasm was not long in coming. The rest of Cindy and Jane's visit was like a long and drawn-out nightmare in which Dan mostly felt embarrassed. The more Dan thought about it, the more convinced he became that Cindy and Jane weren't there to see Sarah. They were there to see how Sarah "played" with Dan. Dan had never felt so reduced and unmanly as he had on this night. When Cindy and Jane eventually left the apartment, Dan was left sitting in the living room next to Sarah. “Dan, what did you think of the evening?” “Uh, yes, uh, how should I express myself, well, uh I hadn't expected Cindy and Jane to visit and... uh.... It's not so easy for me to show myself naked and....” Sarah looked at Dan with amusement, who seemed to be extremely uncomfortable with the situation. “It was brave of you to do what you did tonight, Dan. Especially since I know you're a prude guy, but you know what I'm thinking. In front of me sits a guy who is head over heels in love. Is that right, Dan?” Dan nodded gently. “Are you ready to step into my world, Dan?” “Uh, ... what does that mean Sarah?” “Deep down I think you already know it Dan, but it's a world where I'm your permanent girlfriend, mistress, owner, mother, call it what you will? All you must do is follow me into my bedroom, Dan. Then begins a loving, exciting relationship based on discipline, obedience, and submission. Shall we go into my bedroom, Dan?"

Katie Ann What do you do when you look seven years old but you’re actually a college student in your late teens? For Kathleen’s entire life, she had fought against people treating her much younger than her actual age. Feeling obligated to grow up fast to show people she wasn’t the age of her size, Kathleen never let her inner child out. Tired of fighting against the world, she explores the adult submissive world. What she finds, however, is an enjoyment of regression. Had she made a mistake? Would life be better if she just let people treat her the way she looks at seven years old? By Becky Anne Proofread by Jamie M ©2018-2024 ~o~O~o~ Chapter Twenty: I Am Not Stupid Mrs. Bullard repeated herself, “I am not stupid. She isn’t your daughter. Remember, Adam, I have known you since grade school.” Breathing, she continued, “Eight years ago, when Katie would have been conceived, you would have been sixteen or seventeen. You were dating my sister at that time.” Katie Ann just looked down at her feet, not knowing what to do in this situation. She was supposed to be a doll, so she was not to move or talk. She didn’t have any input in the case. She also hoped in her mind that the dating Mrs. Bullard was talking about was in the past. Sara Bullard continued, “She is not my niece. I also have never pegged you, Adam, for the cheating type. Also, up ’til the middle of the summer, you had Heidi regularly coming over on the weekends. You were not exactly secretive about what you did with her. I don’t try to be nosy, but you don’t shut your curtains. Suddenly, she stopped coming, and Katie showed up a few months later, who, according to this room, is probably wearing the same stuff,” as she patted the little girl on the bottom. “Yep, she is.” “I hardly doubt that you would force an actual child to wear diapers. So unless she is incontinent, she probably isn’t really seven. She looks believable but a little tall,” she said. She turned to Katie Ann, and she said, “Who are you, and how old are you?” Sighing, Owner said, “She is...” Sara said, “No, I want her to answer.” Sighing again, he said, “Kathleen, you can talk and move.” Sighing, Katie answered, “I am Kathleen or Katie Ann Telgenhof. When I am not willingly a young seven-year-old, I am a nineteen-year-old college student.” “And he isn’t forcing you to be young, is he? You apparently put on a good show, or at least when you are around Stacy. Every other word out her mouth is Katie this, Katie that,” She continued. “I came into this relationship as a submissive. Daddie or Owner decides what I am going to be. He usually treats me as a seven-year-old, with a hint of toddler thrown in the mix in private. I do enjoy being a child because I have the most freedom.” Katie started sadly because she figured she was probably going to lose her friend. She continued, “It used to upset me when people treated me like a child because I was trying to be an adult and failing at it. But in my child persona, my life just feels right. And people don’t look down at me as a child.” Sara, noticing that this was hard for Katie, was rubbing the rag doll's back. She asked both of them, “Since you both are technically adults, is this a sexual relationship?” Katie said, “Nope, I am under contract to him, and no sex is in it. For that matter, no abuse of any kind is in it, too.” “What is she wearing on her chest? It feels strange,” Sara asked. The doll answered, “A binder. It makes my AA chest flat,” as Adam threw a binder from the dresser to Sara. Katie, figuring out where this conversation was going spoke, “I will avoid spending time around Stacy. I won’t go with her to Sunday school tomorrow.” Daddie told her, “That won’t be a problem, Katie Ann, you won’t go back to church.” Sara interrupted, “Neither of you will do either of those things. Stacy will still escort you,” pointing at Katie, “to the first and second-grade Sunday school class. Adam, you will still take your daughter to church on Sundays when she is here. I didn’t come here to break the two girls up. Katie and Stacy appear to be good friends and are having fun together. Adam, you will still be Stacy’s occasional babysitter, too. Nothing will change between our two houses except that the truth will be known. The status quo will remain. What were your plans for tomorrow, Adam, before I stopped by?” “Take her to church and then back to college after she puts casual clothes on,” he said. “Your plans for tomorrow are now, no ifs or buts about it, taking her to church. You then will come directly to my house to have dinner. Then you can take her to college later.” The neighbor lady said in an authoritarian tone. Daddie and Katie just shrugged at each other. As Mrs. Bullard was getting ready to leave the room, Katie asked, “So I can still be friends with Stacy?” Coming back to Katie, Sara patted her on the head and told her, “Yes, you may. Stacy would kill me if I kept you two apart. Though someone needs to tell her the truth, leave that up to me.” “How will I know when Stacy knows?” Katie inquired. “She will tell you when she knows,” Sara told the worrisome little girl as she walked out of the room, with Adam following her. He came back into the room and, after picking her up, said, “I am too emotionally tired to put your face on. You will sleep like that in my bed tonight, Buttercup,” as he carried her across the hall. ~o~O~o~ Walking into church the next day, Katie Ann, in a lovely Lavender dress and a matching bow on top of her braid, was attacked by what can only be described as tropical storm Stacy. Stacy grabbed her hand and told Daddie, “I am going to borrow Katie for a bit, Mr. Olsen.” He nodded yes at Stacy in response to the departing girls. Smiling, Stacy led Katie towards some other young girls, saying to the girls, “Becka, Heather, this is Katie, my neighbor.” The three girls started talking a mile a minute, with Katie occasionally putting her bit in but mostly just being shy. Stacy, seeing Katie was mostly quiet, asked her in a whisper, “Are you ok, Katie?” “I am shy, plus nervous about something,” Katie whispered back. Stacy whispered, “We will talk at my house about the nervous issue, but you weren’t shy two weeks ago.” Katie, with a slight tongue showing, said, “You didn’t give me a chance to be shy two weeks ago!” Stacy said quietly, “Oh,” as her mother ushered both of the girls toward the sanctuary. Katie looked around for her Daddie and didn’t see him as she followed Stacy’s Mommie. They were led to a pew in the church, where she saw her Daddie and another guy waiting for them. It seemed to her that Mrs. Bullard purposely sat between the two young girls. After the preacher released the children, Katie followed Stacy toward the same classroom as last time. Once they got there, Katie counted ten to fifteen first and second-graders again. The only difference between this time and last time is the teacher personally greeted Katie as she entered the room. ~o~O~o~ Again, after Sunday school was over, Katie followed Stacy back to the common room, holding tight to her artwork. She was getting more nervous about what would happen at the Bullards. Stacy hadn’t mentioned knowing anything while they were in the church, but maybe that was by design. Stacy was definitely still her friend. She was more nervous about Mrs. Bullard. And who had that mystery guy been in the pew with them? Once they got back to the gathering room, she noticed her Daddie talking and drinking coffee again. She patiently waited for him to see her. When he did, she gave him her artwork. She then went to usurp a cookie and stand near Stacy, who was standing near the mystery guy. She tapped Stacy on the shoulder, causing her friend to jump in surprise. “Katie, you scared me, … oh, this is my Daddie, Daddie, this is Katie,” Stacy said. Mr. Bullard said to Katie, “I have heard all about you from my talkative daughter. It's nice to finally meet you.” Thinking to herself, Katie thought, “And probably from his wife.” She said out loud, “Thank you, sir.” “Daddie, can I ride with Mr. Olsen, or Katie ride with us?” Stacy asked. Mr. Bullard said, “You both need boosters; you two can be separated for the short time it takes to get home.” Stacy had a pout on her face, and she led Katie over to a bench to wait impatiently since it looked like the adults were going to talk for a while. The two girls quietly played tic tac toe in the velvet of the seat while they were waiting since they were bored. “Katie, Stacy, time to go, sweeties,” they heard Sara say. Katie got up and erased the evidence of their game. She went to where Daddie was standing. She was helped into her seat when they got to the car. After she was strapped in, he started driving, following the Bullards. Not that he needed directions, though, to his home. After Daddie had unstrapped her, she started walking away from the car. She hadn’t walked halfway between the houses when Stacy grabbed her hand, dragged her toward her parents, and asked, “Now, can I tell her?” “Yes, you may.” Looking at Katie, Stacy said, “I know you have two different ages, but I don’t care,” which got a smile out of the regressed girl. Continuing, she asked, “What school do you go to? You never told me?” “Mountain College,” was the answer Stacy received, as they were walking in the house. “No, no, that is where the older you goes. I can’t exactly tell my friends that. Where does my good friend, Katie, go?” “Oh, Clearwater Elementary in Clearwater, I live with my Mommie there. That is the answer I told the hairstylist,” Katie said, giggling with a smile. Stacy turned and looked at Daddie and asked, “Speaking about that, can I get my hair braided like Katie, Mr. Olsen, please?” “One or two braids?” Thinking about it, she answered, “Two, please.” “I need to run home before I can do that,” he said, turning to run home. He wasn’t gone long when he came back. To Katie, it looked like he had grabbed her diaper bag and a shopping bag. Taking the shopping bag, he sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him for Stacy to sit down at. Soon, she spotted two pigtails with white ribbons tickling her ears. “You two girls switch spots, please,” he said. Katie sat down in the spot and felt her Daddie undoing her hair before braiding it again in pigtails with ribbons tickling her ears, too. “Both of you sit very closely together, please,” he said. The two girls felt him messing with the braid close to the other girl; they weren’t sure what he was doing. Soon, Katie’s Daddie said, “Go show your Mommy in the kitchen, Stacy.” Stacy tried to get up to show her Mommie, only to have her head jerk back towards Katie. They discovered that Daddie had hair-banded the two girls' braids together. Slowly, the two girls got up and walked towards the kitchen. It caused the two guys to smile at their struggle. Walking into the kitchen, Sara greeted the girls with, “What do we have here?” “Daddie is mean!” Katie exclaimed in a pouty voice. “Let me separate you two so we can eat.” “No, let me get photo evidence first,” Mr. Bullard said with an evil chuckle. He had the girls stand in front of a wall and then took their picture a few times. He made sure the braid was in the picture before separating the two girls. Stacy led Katie to the table and made sure they were sitting together. Mrs. Bullard came behind the two girls and tucked a napkin in their necklines. “You both are wearing dress clothes. I know how messy you can be, Stacy, and Katie probably is too.” Katie looked at the plate and saw that it was already loaded with a kid-size portion of potatoes, brussels sprouts, and some tender-looking meat. She wasn’t thrilled about the sprouts, but Mrs. Bullard had been an excellent host, so she would eat it. They had Stacy say grace, and then everyone tucked in their food. The adults started conversing about the two girls, while the girls just stayed quiet and ate their food. “Where did you two go yesterday?” Mrs. Bullard asked. “The zoo,” Daddie answered. Mr. Bullard said, “‘I always liked ‘Hanna Valley.” “We didn’t go there. Someone would not have enjoyed that,” Daddie said, looking at Katie. Almost in unison, all the Bullards asked, “Why?” Stacy, in particular, was looking at her friend like she had grown a horn. Katie started to open her mouth, but Daddie continued, “The older her volunteers are there, so she wouldn’t have had a fun time. She would always be worried if someone would make the connection.” “Oh,” Stacy said while Mr. Bullard was looking at her like he just made a connection like he had seen her before. With that, the subject was changed, this time to older hers college and major. Katie went to try to answer those questions. She realized they didn’t want her answers; they wanted Daddie’s answers when they ignored her first answer. Soon, Mrs. Bullard was cleaning the plates off the table and setting apple pie in front of everyone. After the pie was done, the girls were excused to Stacy’s room. Stacy mentioned, “My room is not as cool as the room you have. I don’t have a turret. I used to love to sleep in that room when I stayed overnight with Mr. Olsen.” “Does he not watch you anymore?” “No, he still does occasionally, but it is no longer a guest room. It is your room now.” “I think he did redecorate it for me, but you are welcome to sleep in when I am gone. Heck, you are welcome to share the bed with me. We are small enough.” The girls sat down to play Guess Who quietly while the adults talked downstairs. Katie eventually realized that she had a problem, so she told Stacy, “I will be back. I have to deal with something.” She walked back downstairs, following the voices of the adults, and all conversation stopped when she entered the room. Looking at them, she asked, “What are you three discussing?” “You,” was the answer she got. “Oh,” and she turned to leave, sadly. “Did you need something, Princess?” Daddie asked. “Yes, I need a change,” she embarrassedly mumbled. Mrs. Bullard, having just barely heard it, said, “I will do it. Where is her diaper bag?” After being told where it was and getting it, Mrs. Bullard led Katie back up to Stacy’s room. After laying a pad down on Stacy’s bed to protect it, she asked Katie to lie down on it. Katie found it a little embarrassing to be changed by her friend’s mom while said friend watched. After the regressed girl was dry, she felt a pat on her bottom and was told, “You two continue playing nicely.” Soon, they heard, “Katie Ann, help Stacy clean up. It is time to go,” being yelled up the stairs by Daddie. After they cleaned up, they walked downstairs together. Katie was surprised to discover it was already after four o’clock. They had been there for over four hours. After she got hugs from all the Bullards, Daddie took her hand and led her to the car, strapping her car seat. She realized she was still in her dress clothes, so she said, “Daddie?” “Yes, Princess?” “Did I lose my tennis shoes?” “No, they are with your clean laundry in the back.” “Ok,” was her reply, as she grabbed the book from her car bag to occupy herself during the hour ride. After they got to the college, she was unstrapped, and after grabbing the items from the back, they went upstairs to the cluster, where they saw Tiffany pacing. It was as if she was impatiently waiting for something or someone to return. Setting her items on her bed, she hugged Daddie goodbye and told him, “See you in two weeks, Daddie.” She was putting her laundry away when Tiffany knocked on the door. After she let her in, she returned to putting her items away. Tiff spoke, “Little sister, you look cute. Your Sunday best?” “Yes, we went directly from church to the neighbor’s house, to college. I will need your or Ally’s help undoing the buttons in the back at bedtime. Have you eaten dinner yet? I am hungry?” she told Tiff as the pull-up packages were put away. Taking her hand, Tiff said, “Come on, little sis, let’s go get dinner. I can’t wait to show off the cutie pie you are.”

When I travel solo for a vacation it's about the only time I go 24/7 (no messing). Premium diapers that can go 7 hours (plastic pants for extra security) work well enough. I drive on my trips and if I have to change before reaching my hotel, I can find a place. I have a small shoulder bag that can hold 2 premium diapers and a pack of wipes and I had no problem changing diapers in a museum restroom, or a family restroom with an outer door lock at Hershey Park. My diapers are bulky, especially with plastic pants but a onesie helps, and even with short legged shorts I doubt anyone notices. Family like at a brother's condo might be different though, especially the bulk of a premium diaper as opposed to pull-ups. I carry in my car at least 50 to 100 plastic grocery bags that I can double bag my used diapers when I need to toss one out along the way when traveling. Even stopping in a town there are big trash cans in front of fast food places, grocery stores or gas stations that I can casually toss my bagged up diapers in when stopping for a few snacks or to fill up the car. Even use the restroom at a gas station if I need to make a quick change. Yes, at my hotels I bagged up my wet diapers and put them in the trash can in the room. The first day I came back to find the room had been cleaned but the double bagged diapers in the trash can under the sink had not been emptied. I was going through about 3 to 4 diapers a day, heading back to the room between seeing the sites to change when needed, plus my night diaper so before leaving the next morning, I pulled the large liner out of the trash can (currently holding the 4 diapers from the previous day plus the 4 new diapers I had gone through, all double bagged), tied it up and set in in the middle of the floor just inside the door to my room. When I came back later, the room had been cleaned and the diapers removed. It's trash, securely bagged up and even though they are adult diapers, I'm sure housekeeping has tossed out many of their guest's baby diapers and I'm sure their share of adult diapers as well. A nice tip for housekeeping is a good idea. I'm not sure how to handle it at your brother's condo. Wearing bulky diapers would probably be a lot more obvious than pull ups but they may mean fewer changes to dispose of. Is there any way you could take diapers or pull-ups discreetly to your car and then dispose of them away from the condo, like at a gas station, supermarket trash can or some public place that has public trash bins for public use? I think finding disposal locations away from his place would be doable, it's getting them discreetly out of the house to your car when you change to take them away somewhere.

I just wonder, since you are an adult baby and have been here for years, why you are messing around (no pun intended) with Goodnites instead of just wearing an adult diaper, especially for medicine induced diarrhea? It seems to me even low end store type adult diapers (I get most of mine at Goodwill) would be better for diarrhea than a Goodnite or disposable underpants, and easier to change.

Hi Reddy, glad to hear that the suergery went well, aisde this small complication. Hopefully cathethers will be of help until the internal tissues have healed and then you'll be as IC as you want! Were you cathetherized during the flight? Or did you only wear diapers?

I was at a vendor booth at a tabletop gaming convention and bought an embroidered towel that says "Who let me adult. I can't adult." All my friends thought it was appropriate.

Lopunny , Lucario ♥️

@LilRugrat Sending You and @FretaBWetBIG HUGS, and I say I love and MISS you BOTH! ! Brian

I would say that it was likely a combination of three things. First was the tighter fit, although the adult pull-up did fit well. Second is a better design with the Goodnite. Third is just better overall leg gathers. Now having said that, the Goodnite contained a larger mess for a longer time. And yes I prefer my regular diapers as they will contain even bigger messes, for longer times.

Two and a half weeks in and it is insane how unnoticeable it is 99,9% of the time. Only when my half full bladder empties itself when I have been lying in bed on my stomach I can feel the bladder neck repositioning itself around the stent. Apparently the bladder rises a little in the stomach when it's getting full and comes down again when emptying. This causes a little friction with the stent but it is not painful at all. Sleeping with my stent is better than ever before. I usually don't wake up until early in the morning when my bladder decides to contract, causing severe urination. I then have to quickly turn on my back because the front of the diaper is already completely wet. I usually have to change the diaper then, otherwise it is difficult to fall asleep again. Highly motivated by Reddy's story, I pretend that my incontinence is not caused by a stent, but is the permanent result of a surgery. I know I'm kidding myself, but it nevertheless sheds new light on the mental aspect of dealing with incontinence. This is how I hope to find out whether irreversible incontinence is something I want.

Hey everyone! I was originally going to write a Halloween story for this one, being set at the end of October and all, but then I realized that it’s not until later with my own canon in these stories that Halloween is even introduced to this dimension. I was going to have an alternate holiday that was celebrated with the Bigs before Halloween, but the story felt too convoluted explaining everything, and in the end, I felt it just didn’t make sense narratively. I feel that the ‘day-in-the-life’ bit I have going on in this chapter works out just fine and is even a bit of a breather after the past few chapters and before the next few chapters coming up before the end. Things of course still occur, but spoiler, no one, not even the villains, is going to be suddenly killed in this chapter. Sorry to disappoint… Regardless though, I still hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 14: The Past Clings Tightly The revelation and sharing with Samantha about all the dirty secrets of the academy had marked a true change in our relationship. While before, I considered us close, I now felt like not even Oppy could match the bond that we now possessed. We were each other’s lifelines and solace at the end of our days. Samantha would pick me up after a long day dealing with conservative students not caring about the well-being of humans on Earth and the constant nagging of Judge Franklin when she wasn’t lecturing in class. For me, I would be taken home after a long day of drudgery in the classroom where I had to continue my advisement of these Bigs on how to infiltrate Earth, or I would be picked from daycare where I slowly watched most of those around me slip slowly into their second babyhoods. It was a difficult time for us both, but we had each other. Speaking of daycare though, like every Wednesday, I found myself there again today. Due to my knowledge of what my advisement of Earth would lead to, Samantha and I had revised my schedule, so I was now only guest lecturing twice a week. It made me feel much better and there were less opportunities for me to share possibly critical information about Earth, but it also meant I had to spend more time in an increasingly babyish daycare. “Snack time! Snack time!” Miss Melissa called out. Immediately, she was swarmed with several bouncing and eager Littles. A few whined, a few seemed near crying, but all were waiting for their helping of Tabers milk and carrots for their mid-morning snack. “At least that’s not us,” I said to DB right next to me, but when I looked, he was gone. “Where…?” I started to ask, but my eyes and instincts were faster than my brain and I turned to look at the awaiting crowd for their snack, and there, right at the rear of the group, was DB. “Oh no…” I had seen the effects of Tabers milk on everyone here, but I was hoping that my Earther friends here might have been somewhat immune to the substance having lasted so much longer than the rest. It was now clear to me that DB wasn’t, and when I turned back to look at Melley, I could see she wanted to go as well. “You can go if you want to,” I said resignedly to her. Melley squirmed a bit, but to my pleasant surprise, eventually turned away from looking at the awaiting snack time crowd. “No… I mean, I really do, but that stuff… I really shouldn’t…” “Hmmm…” I eyed my famous friend up and down. “I thought you and DB were immune to the stuff, but now… I guess I can’t say the same for DB…” Melley sadly shook her head. “No, but I can’t blame him. I think all Littles are susceptible to it, but I think DB and I might just be slightly above the cuff with our immunities. That being said, I think he’s feeling the effects more than me from when he was regressed. I think they made him more vulnerable to certain things.” I nodded and looked back at the eager Little now reaching his hands up to receive his Tabers milk. “Makes sense… I guess we can only hope for a recall of the stuff before it’s too late…” Melley hugged her black dog stuffy. “Yeah…” She then kind of trailed off for a minute until DB rejoined us. “Enjoying the milk?” she questioned her old friend. DB just nodded and continued sucking down his sippy cup, almost looking completely blissed out. Melley looked like she wanted to snatch it away from him, but I couldn’t tell if she just wanted her friend back or if she wanted the milk for herself. In the end though, she only distracted herself from the whole scene by focusing on her black dog stuffy and then again on the milo juice and carrots that I got as well. By now, there wasn’t a snack time that went by where I didn’t silently thank Samantha for intervening for us to have something other than just the Tabers milk. The day went slowly after that as the attendants cleaned up after everyone. The Tabers milk had its usual effect, and it wasn’t long before most Littles in the daycare were quickly relaxed or even dozing off. Anticipating this, instead of the previously usual puzzle or game time, the attendants decided a few weeks ago that it should become story time instead. It was during this time of day that I began to notice another change in Melley. She was still very much herself, but she had originally protested story time adamantly. She eventually lost her argument and would always sit down in a huff to prevent being punished, but now, after a few doses in the begging of the Tabers milk, she just listened intently while snuggling up with her stuffy. For my part, while the ‘Three Littles and the King’ wasn’t exactly as thrilling as the spy novel I had been chewing on here beforehand, it was still a nice moment during the day to just unwind. As I listened to the three brothers each receiving their gifts from the king of the land, I also heard the tell-tale hissing and soft grunting from nearly every Little around me. Fortunately, my nose had grown a little numb to all the smells, but I knew what was happening. So, it was no surprise that after another story, the attendants then set off in changing each of the Littles that needed it… including me. Being only wet, I held a certain pride and even prestige for those who even cared about that sort of thing around here anymore. DB just happened to be one of them. While many went to be changed in haste, the next event planned for the day was free time. Every Little could choose what they wanted to do, so I elected to get back to my book reading in my little nook away from everyone else. I used to hang out with Melley and DB, and Jimmy in an offhand way, during that time, but now, things had most consistently changed during this time. Melley had gotten sucked into playing princess today, something I don’t think she would have even considered in the slightest when I first met her. Jimmy, no longer being looked after by DB or Melley, was just content to bat around a soft block with the other severely regressed Littles, and DB… “Come on, Percy. Please play with me!” DB begged me. I had only gotten about a page into my book while DB had been getting a change himself, and while he smelled fresh, which was a good thing, I still wanted to read more of my book. “Not now, man… maybe later.” “Oh, come on…” he whined. He then started to pout and once again, I felt that he was almost becoming my little brother around here with how he was acting toward me. The Tabers milk had a strong lasting effect on him and while he could be better after lunch, right now, he only had one thing on his mind. “Come on. I need someone to play a cop while I rob a bank. It’s no fun if I just do it alone.” I sighed and set my book down temporarily. “How about this?” I offered. “Let me read now and I promise that we can play all you want when we go outside today. Does that sound okay?” I could then see DB think hard on my proposal. Sensing his hesitancy, I added one more bit that I noticed tended to work more on him lately. “I can pinky swear on it if you want?” I then held up my pinky to my mentally dwindling friend. He immediately smiled and clasped my pinky with his own. “Deal!” Now satisfied, he toddled away and seemed to take a new fascination with building with some of the interlocking plastic blocks. I smiled at his fascination with something so simple, and while they weren’t rated for anyone like Chelsea or Jimmy, they still marked his mental state as still somewhat declining. When I first met DB, he always used this time to figure out a new way to escape. Now, though, he seemed like he never wanted to leave this place ever. I guess in a way, it might have saved him from an even stricter punishment than he had received previously if he was caught again, but I also couldn’t help but fear for him with just how far this new slow regression would go. The day continued though, and after a brief lunch, the daycare was split into our usual two groups. The first group went off to get changed and then put down for their afternoon nap. The rest of us in the second group were changed or allowed to go potty, an ever-smaller amount, and then taken outside for recess. There were storm clouds on the horizon, but the bitter cold of late fall still hadn’t hit in the ending weeks of October. “I can go higher!” Melley shouted from the top of the playset out back. “We pilots push boundaries!” “Melley! This is your last warning before I come up there and get you,” Miss Tina shouted back at the Little perched high up on the playset as she had usually done and where she had taken me out here when we first met. Melley soared the plane in her hands and extended her arms for a moment before climbing back down. She gave a little disappointed huff, but then just continued playing after. When I first got here, she had the freedom to practically do whatever she wanted, but now, her imagination and mentality out here seemed to fluctuate back and forth. As such, the daycare attendants kept a close eye on her. Littles that loved flying were rarely trusted to be on their own on the playground equipment in case they tried to fly themselves from the highest point. After Dale nearly ended up in the hospital back in May, they didn’t take any chances anymore. For our part though, DB and I were on the ground, and while I could tell that he wasn’t as regressed anymore, having only had water during lunch, he was still a little loopy and more mentally regressed than when I first met him. “All the money in the world and it’s all for me! There’s no one that can stop me now! Ha ha ha!” Playing my part to the best of my ability, I swaggered up and pointed a nearby stick that I had found at my friend. “Hold it right there, mister! You’re not going anywhere! Hands up! Don’t make me use this,” I commandingly said as I patted the stick on the top. “Officer Nolan! Oh no! Not again!” DB said in shock as he stuck his hands up from underneath the playground equipment. “Wait, is that a gun?” I nodded with delight. “Yes, Million Manny… that’s why I told you to put those hands up.” The nickname had been DB’s idea from about a month ago now. I felt it was too ridiculous but being there for my regressed friend and even getting into the role of cop myself, I actually found it all a bit amusing now. “Now, outta that bank with your hands reaching toward the sky still. No wrong moves, ya’ hear?” ‘Million Manny’ slowly stepped out from underneath the playground equipment with his hands still raised. “I swear I’m innocent. I was framed!” “Right…” I said unconvinced in my little role as a cop now, “a likely story. Now, up against the wall. No funny business now.” Before we could continue our scene though, some nearby yelling caught our attention and stopped us cold. Even Melley up above stopped the zooming noises she was making with her airplane. In fact, from what I could see, everyone outside stopped and stared at the scene unfolding by the hopscotch area. “You do not hit, Timmy!” Mrs. Katherine scolded the Little now clutched in her arms. “I don’t care if Sally did call you a ‘poopy pants.’ From what I can tell, she’s not even lying.” “But she was makin’ fun of me,” Timmy tried to protest back. I can see off to the side that Sally and her friends were all giggling. Unfortunately, it was a scene that had played out more often around here these days. Unregressed Littles get along with each other for the most part, but I was finding that as Littles enter their terrible twos, emotions would become more mixed as abilities begin to decline overall. It’s nothing terrible, but if one is like Timmy with a few anger issues still, it’s an explosion just waiting to happen. Today, I guess, it finally did. “No butts!” Mrs. Katherine yelled back, but Timmy wasn’t having it. Then, he did the thing that all Littles knew not to do, particularly with Mrs. Katherine. In shock or leftover resentment from it all and being called out like this in front of the daycare out here, Timmy swung and smacked Mrs. Katherine. It was just on the arm holding onto him, but everyone watching could only gasp at the simple but massive mistake he had just made. Mrs. Katherine tightened her grip visibly on Timmy’s arm and yanked him upward, rage boiling out of her eyes now. “That was your last strike… I guess I was too lenient with you last week. I won’t make the same mistake again. I can promise you that, and neither will you.” With that, she then hoisted the sputtering and clearly terrified Timmy over her shoulder. He was doomed and we all knew it, but right then, just as Mrs. Katherine was walking away, she looked right at the three of us. We scattered and hid as best we could, but her icy and determined look still sent a sliver of fear down our backs. The doors slammed shut and most everyone on the playground went back to what they were doing, but I just couldn’t get my breathing under control. That woman scared me more than anything else here. With what I knew, she was yet another Big who was now on my list of those whom I actively tried to avoid at all costs. Melley and DB helped me learn the rules, listed or even the unspoken ones, and I had yet to revisit her punishment room, but I still felt it was only a matter of time in this place. “You okay, Percy?” DB asked after a moment, now noticing my nearly paralyzed form beside him. “No, he’s not, ya’ dumb-dumb,” Melley chastised her friend as she hopped down from above, the small plane attached around her black dog stuffy still clutched in her hand. I found it cute that she had even gotten the dog a pilot’s outfit to wear when in the plane, but I still just couldn’t get Mrs. Katherine out of my head. “It’s okay, Percy,” she continued. Clearly, the more mature Melley was back again. “Just keep breathing. Mrs. Katherine gets to everyone here, but we all just learn to live with it. Follow the rules, and things won’t get worse.” “Worse?” I questioned in shock. “I was spanked and then trapped in a dark room with my nose in a corner for like an hour! How could it be worse?” Both DB and Melley sighed as if they knew something more. “Percy… she went easy on you…” “Yeah,” DB agreed, now looking and acting more like his old self again. “She’s batty but she’s the lead punisher around here. Makes the others look much better and Littles will reach out to them on instinct when they need comfort. It’s all part of the plan around here, but Mrs. Katherine is the one who does the regressing as well around here. Timmy… well, he might as well have just signed his own forced regression papers.” I thought then occurred to me. Both my friends in front of me now were punished, and Mrs. Katherine noted she had been around here since the beginning. “You mean…?” Melley sadly nodded. “Yep, we both got zapped by her back in the day. She’s practically a sadist and your caregiver even has to sign a form before she goes to work on you. Also, technically, we’re not really citizens here, being from Earth and all, so she almost has free reign of what she does here. Tricky Bigs even snuck her services into the contract that all caregivers signed when getting you in here. Most never even know about it… or at least not until it’s too late.” “Geez…” it was another trap this world had to offer to the Littles here. I felt like I was a rat running in a maze I had no idea about and that somewhere I would fall into said trap that they had laid out for me, and others like me. “Aren’t they worried about long term effects with anyone returning to Earth?” To my horror, Melley shook her head and DB seemed to do the same. “No one ever leaves here Percy. Most have their reasons, but I’ve never heard of one going back home. Once you’re here, you’re basically stuck. You’re an Earther still and always will be, but you’re more a part of this place than you will ever be to Earth again.” It was a moment of realization that I knew I should have had a long time ago, but it hit me square in the face today. I knew I had to ask Oppy about her deal with getting me home, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that it was either just a ploy to get me to comply with helping during the trial, or that she had already tried and had failed to get me home. Considering it was Oppy and the stipulation of the trial’s verdict with Samantha and myself, I felt the latter was much more likely. I think Melley could sense my hesitation with everything going on. Being an Earther herself, I already knew about all her stories on how hard it was to adjust around here, especially back when she first came to this dimension and was practically the only non-regressed Little. “You know… we could always help you more out with the rules to survive this place again…” “Yeah!” DB added excitedly. I could already see that he was slipping again back into his younger mindset. Those periods of the old DB were becoming shorter and shorter with each helping of Tabers milk. “It would be just like the old days. I could instruct you on how to… uh, eat? Talk? Uh…” He then seemed to struggle and trail off for a bit with what he could actually help me out with anymore. Before, he would help me out with not getting caught if I was ever being naughty. It was an extremely useful skill I found out for so many other things beyond that, but skills like those just seemed beyond his reach now. Melley chuckled, but it seemed more of a way to mask her own sadness about her friend. “I’m sure Percy would love all that, DB, but maybe as far as Mrs. Katherine and blending into this world goes, I‘ll help him out with the unspoken stuff again. There’s lots of those kinds of things still to know about.” I didn’t want more instruction on how to be a good Little around here. It always felt like a slippery slope to further regression, and now with Melley and DB how they were post-Tabers milk… I just wasn’t sure. At the same time though, Mrs. Katherine raining down spanks on my poor bottom was a much more terrifying concept. “Yeah… definitely… absolutely need to start doing that again.” Melley giggled a little bit, but then it seemed as if she had an idea but then thought better of it. Fearing the punishment room again, I pressed. “What? Is there something else? Please tell me, Melley.” “Well…” she hesitated while DB just started messing around with the mulch at our feet. He was clearly slipping back into his more regressed persona now. “It’s only a suggestion, but you come here… three days a week now?” I nodded. “Uh, well that leaves…” She oddly seemed to struggle for a moment, and I really started to worry about my friend. “Four! Ugh! Stupid brain… But anyways, that’s four days you aren’t with us. Maybe… and its just a suggestion, but you could get Samantha to help you out… apply some of those rules at home maybe?” It was honestly a good suggestion, but I had been using Samantha’s and I’s home as a sanctuary in all this. Sure, I had a highchair, a changing table, and things like that, but it still felt safe. No traps or punishments I didn’t deserve. No sadists. No Franklin, Grossman, Reddington, or Mrs. Katherine. I mean, there were still rules and the whole revoking pudding privileges for a week thing back in September wasn’t great, but to implement the rules of the outside world in my apparently safe home? I just wasn’t sure. Then, as if the heavens were matching my mood, the clouds clashed, and large rain drops began to fall all around us. Most Littles screamed in terror whenever lightning struck and fled in a panic back inside. It took a moment for everyone to get back in, but throughout it all, I just clung to the happy thought that I wasn’t panicking over a simple thunderstorm. Not even DB or Melley could boast about that. Still though, especially after I worried about the lights suddenly going off and being in the dark, I felt I needed to feel mature once more and not just a Little forever stuck in this world. As such, I decided to go back to my book nook and the bookshelf there while DB, Melley, and the other Littles focused on another story having to do with when clouds bumped noses, or something like that. Finally, after searching for a good five minutes, I saw the book I was looking for. I had seen it once before, but now, I was more determined than ever to read through it. So, standing on some makeshift stilts at first, then climbing a little as carefully as possible, and then reaching out as far as I could, I finally got the book from the fourth shelf up. It was an odd dusty thing and since the day I fist saw it, it made me curious why it was even here to begin with, but its contents surely interested me. So, with the rain clouds growing ever darker outside and lightning crashing all around, I curled up in my book nook and opened the book to the title page. “Understanding Portal Travel and It’s Origins.” Though old and weathered, the book was part pages as usual, but also part video. It was an odd mix, but I felt it was also done to keep the book small whenever a longer explanation was required for certain sections. Whenever it came on, I was nearly transfixed to the screen, as there, Dr. Beatrice Beakerman would explain several aspects about the discovery of portal travel. “…while our society flourished, our explorers wanted to discover the mysteries of our planet. One, the so-called Bermuda Triangle, had stumped explorers for centuries,” Dr. Beakerman explained. “Originally thought to be the epicenter of the impact crater that destroyed Atlantis and what is now modern Catalon, we discovered was in fact a soft spot in dimensional travel. When we studied and prodded the areas around it, we made two startling discoveries.” I quickly flipped to the next page. “We discovered a long-abandoned merchant ship from another universe and an island of Littles, who claimed to be ‘averaged sized’ and descended from the sailors of the ship. Upon further investigation, we quickly knew they were from another dimension… similar but different to our own, and not just native Littles who just washed ashore as some had originally believed.” I temporarily set the book down and marveled at the discovery. I had heard of soft spots before, but now, I felt they might have been the explanation for half of the unusual phenomena that Earth had ever experienced. If my friends here or the merchant ship were any indication, I knew this had been going on for a long time. I flipped to the next page, eager to learn more. “This is now where I come in. In our exploration of the soft spots, I discovered and manipulated them to actually go through. After some experimentation and extreme amounts of caution, we made it to the other side. I was in the fifth group to go then, and to my surprise, we discovered an entire planet of Littles. Being a veteran of the Height War, I felt that at long last, we had found our solution to the major losses inflicted on our own Littles. Finally, each Big could potentially have their own Little.” I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The idea of Earth being used as essentially a Little’s farm stretched back a few decades now. I knew that Oppy had come over to Earth at least in the 1970’s, but this felt like even before all that. “When we returned, we wanted to know more, but our funding got cut before we could go back. Determined not to let budget cuts get in the way of innovation and discovery, the lot of us on the project then all got together and founded a place of learning where these ‘portals’ and soft spots could be exploited further.” ‘Wait…’ I had to set the book down for a moment. ‘Beakerman… oh woah!’ I then remembered the courtyard right outside the first building apparently created at the academy. It was a frankly old and ugly bronze statue, but it had clearly said ‘Beakerman’ at the bottom. The place she and the others founded was the academy! I had to know more now, and I dove back into the book. “It was hard work, and while I know what we did was critical, I believe that we are still at least 60 years away from creating a more permanent solution for portal travel. It will be risky and expensive, but I believe that the benefits are too valuable to simply ignore.” The book went on for a few more chapters after that, but what I had read or watched so far gave me the chills. I almost wanted to take the book home with me to show Oppy and the others, but Mrs. Katherine soon exited the back door, without Timmy, so I quickly changed my mind. Regardless, naptime was soon over, and the daycare became noisy once more. My reading time was over, but looking around the room, I finally saw Derek once more. He still came to daycare, but as expected after Chelsea’s decision to keep Ditzy instead of him, he had finally been taken by another Big. While I had only seen his self-appointed ‘Daddy,’ I knew Derek also had a ‘mommy’ as well. “Aren’t your worried about calling them those names?” I finally asked him after catching up briefly. “Nuh-uh…” he dreamily said, as he drank down his recently given post-nap bottle. I didn’t need to see any further evidence to know that it was choc-full of Tabers milk. Shockingly, though, he removed the bottle for a moment. “Dat’s juss dere names…” Then, to the surprise of no one however, he popped the bottle back in his mouth. I was really starting to despise that milk here at daycare. It was affecting nearly every single one of my friends now and the effects of the milk only seemed to be getting worse. Finally, though, the bottle was emptied, and Derek just sat there and stared at me with nearly blissed-out eyes and a half-smile towards me. This was my friend and one of the few connections I had back to Earth. He had even gotten better, but his mommy apparently didn’t care about the effects of the milk and just liked her new Little’s carefree attitude afterward. I had never met her, but I already didn’t like her. He was still my friend though, and since I hadn’t seen him in a while, I let him choose what we should do together. It took a minute, but he finally landed on playing with a few trains that were lying nearby. They were clunky, plastic, and all had faces on the front, but Derek at least seemed happy with them, so I played along. “All aboard!” I commanded as I pushed the blue train forward. “Iss nah wike dat!” Derek quickly corrected me. “Eash issa wike a persun! Dey talk to eash udder…” “Oh…” I felt like I remembered something like this from when I was younger from Earth, but I couldn’t quite place it. “Like this then?” I pushed along the car and picked it up to gesture while I did the voice of the car. “Hello, mister… uh, what’s his name? Derek? Oh…” Derek was currently otherwise occupied while puffing out his cheeks and seemingly straining for a moment. I knew what he was doing, but I also knew it would pass in a moment. It did… “Uh… mines name iss Ralphy… I think…” Derek seemed confused over the name for a moment, but it was good enough for me. We played like that for a while, but eventually, each of our caregivers began to pick us up at the end of the day. “Come on you little rascal,” Miss Tina playfully scolded Derek as he tried to scooch away. Her nose quickly began to sniff around. “Uh oh! Did someone make a messy?” Horrifyingly, she turned to me first. “Is it you, Percy?” Nearly stunned, it took a second for me to respond back. “No! No! I’m a big boy! I don’t do that!” I cringed afterward with how juvenile I sounded, but my answer seemed satisfactory enough to her, so she turned her attention to the Little I had even seen do the dirty deed. “Oh! It must be you, mister Dere-Dere!” Derek blushed a bit, but only smiled after and even giggled. “Yep! I think I know who’s got some stinky pants!” Without warning, she scooped him up and patted his rear before smelling it. “Oh yeah! Definitely found my stinker here!” Derek could do nothing but laugh as he was tickled and then hauled off for a quick change. The daycare prided themselves in keeping everyone and everything clean around here and Miss Tina knew that his Daddy, his usual pick-up I noticed, would understand. At the same time though, even as I watched my messy friend being taken away, I could scarcely believe it was the same person I had met and got along with at the con. He was so confident and assured of himself, but now… I had never seen him happier as Miss Tina cooed down at him while she began his direly needed change. I always wondered, particularly with the new introduction of Tabers milk, if he even remembered any of that stuff from back then. I had asked him one day about the con, and he honestly seemed confused for a moment. He eventually got it, but that was over a month ago now. Seeing him mess around so freely while being half-naked to the world as Miss Tina wiped him down, I had my doubts. I also wondered where Ditzy had gone off to, but I was just told by everyone last week that she was ‘perfectly safe and fine.’ I questioned the whole thing, but I was a Little here, and as such, I just had to accept their answer. As Melley and DB had even reminded me today, I was more a part of this world than even Earth now, and as a seasoned Little, there were just some things one had to accept in this world. For now, to me, I felt that was my dwindling chance of going back to Earth as my hopes of ever seeing home again began to dim with each passing week. That, along with the introduction of Tabers milk and the looming threat of Franklin and others on the horizon, I felt my world draw ever closer in and became that much more dangerous.

35%. He told me one time in emails. The thought has crossed the mind to make abdl diapers and true pullups but they couldn't find a machine to make it

Chapter 112: Lie to me (Years and years and years ago…) I sat at the dinner table, shirt cleanly pressed and buttoned up, hair neatly combed with hair and face washed. I was years away from being able to grow a goatee. I looked down at the plate in front of me. Besides the familiar yet detestable broccoli that had been steamed without any cheese was some kind of cut up meat dish. It was pale and pinkish like my flesh, but basted in an unfamiliar brown sauce. Some kind of chicken, obviously, but not the good kind with the skin coated in breadcrumbs so that it crunched when I bit into it. Turkey maybe? Duck? Probably not duck. Mother never cooked duck, I just knew it was an option from T.V. and movies. It was hard to tell when cooking with Amazon portions. We could eat a single bird for several meals but everything was cut, chopped, diced, and pulled beyond recognition by the time it made it to the plate. Even in a fairly well-to-do Little family, we ate scraps. Scraps were what would fit in our mouths. Either we’d cut the food to ribbons and eat it, or an Amazon would do it for us. Just a fact of life. The stuff on my plate looked soft and mushy; practically baby food. Gross! Or perhaps it’d be rubbery and chewy like a dog toy, something I’d have to chew again and again and again, grinding it with my teeth but the stuff never wanting to go down the back of my throat so that I’d have to wash it down with milk just to be able to swallow. Just like with carrots, green beans, and a host of other vegetables my seven year mouth detested unless cooked just right, I’d inevitably tank up on milk, be too full to finish, and then not be allowed to have dessert. Such was life at seven years old. It smelled weird, too, but I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe it. Not burnt, but smokey. “What’s this?” I asked. I poked some of the meat with my fork and it fell apart at the touch. I recoiled in surprise, as if it were still alive and I’d just delivered the death blow myself. “Just eat it, Clark,” my father said. He cut at a tender piece and popped into his mouth. Balding and snowy haired, he wiped his mouth with a napkin after every bite, save when sipping from his mug of beer. “It’s good for you.’ “I just want to know what it is,” I insisted. False. What I really wanted was a burger. Something that I could grip my hands and bite into. Something to drench in dairy and ketchup; fill up on juicy ground beef while tasting cheese and condiments. “Chicken,” Father said. I poked at the stuff again. I grabbed my fork and started sawing through a piece. The stuff melted on the fork, the knife being formality and pantomime more than anything. “What kind of chicken?” I stalled. “It’s swill,” my mother said. “Now eat it.” “Debra…” my father looked across the dinner table. Mother brushed a bit of frizzled red hair out of her eyes. “Ward…” she shot back at my father. She ate some of the strange concoction and then pointed with her fork. “Eat your swill, Clark.” “What’s swill?” “Eat it and find out.” “What is it?” “Take three big boy bites,” she said. “Then decide whether you like it.” “Mooooooooom,” I whined. “I just want to know what it is!” “Three big boy bites,” she repeated evenly. I threw my head back and lightly bonked the back of it against the chair. I hated it when my parents used baby talk on me. It wasn’t meant to be demeaning, but a reminder; a warning of sorts. Young men and women who didn’t listen to their mother and fathers’ sage advice would inevitably draw the attention of new Mommies and Daddies who wouldn’t let them ever grow up. It was the same for table manners, bed wetting, thumb sucking, academics, speech impediments, household chores, and personal grooming. We developed good habits, lest bad ones become permanent in the worst possible ways. When growing up is literally something you can fail at, it becomes a skill to be practiced like any other rather than something to let happen naturally on its own. Grow up well so you can find a safe job, save money, get married, have kids, teach them to do the same, and retire safely away. “I'm just asking a-” “Do I need to help you practice opening up for the airplane?” she asked. “Fine!” I shoveled the pulled bird meat into my maw and chomped down. And smiled! It was delightful! The stuff fell apart in the best way on my tongue. The brownish not quite pasty sauce was even better than ketchup and had a hearty sweetness that complimented the savoriness of the meat instead of clashing with it. I actually hummed in delight. “MMMMMMMMMMM!” I went so far as to spear some pieces of broccoli so that it’d go down easier with the delicious, delicious stuff! A young man could get used to this! “What do you think?” My mother asked, sounding hopeful. “I love this swill!” I proclaimed. My father laughed, low and deep, then took a sip of beer. My mother nodded appreciatively. “I’m glad you like it dear. Now eat your swill.” So I did. We had ‘swill’ twice a month in the Gibson household growing up. Mother was keen to take note of meals that her picky husband and pickier son would wolf down. It was easily one of my favorite dishes of hers. I’d never heard the word before in my young life. I’d no context for what it meant. No clue that it was a synonym for literal slop fed to Erymanthian bred pigs. My mother was just tired from working all day and cooking for an ungrateful son, so she made a quip as her own private joke. Calling it what it was to my basic ass wouldn’t have accomplished her goal of getting me to eat the goddamn chicken so she picked a word out of her head; most likely reflective of how she felt I took her cooking for granted. When I fell in love with it, the name stuck. It was mostly because she found it funny, but also if I didn’t know what it was I couldn’t look up or find a recipe for it. Calling the stuff ‘swill’ made it magical in a way, her own special spin on a relatively simple slow cook dish. Five whopping years later we went out to a barbecue joint and she suggested I try the barbecue smoked chicken. I hadn’t tried barbecue before, and chicken seemed so common to my ever expanding middle school palette. Then she promised me that it would taste like ‘swill’ and it finally clicked. “About time,” my dad said softly after the Tweener waitress took our orders. “Wouldn’t want him to accidentally tell some Amazon his parents fed him swill. That could get all of us in trouble.” ********************************************************************************************************* Wedging the bottle between my good and bandaged hand, I sucked down Beouf’s coffee in my car seat. Janet opted to sign out and go home as soon as the last of the buses had driven off but Melony cooked me up a batch of our afternoon snack and handed it to me on our way out the door. Today’s brew tasted of caramel macchiato and victory. I’d committed not one but two hypothetically grievous offenses, and my friends had used their own crazy backwards logic and ingenuity to drop hints to me so that I was rewarded with a three day vacation instead of sentenced into exile. How cool was that?! Even better was that I was once again a made man in the eyes of the A.L.L and the other Littles in my class. I’d punched an Amazon in the face, drew blood, and would be back on Friday. I wasn’t even close to a cautionary tale! I was a mother fucking legend! No one there could doubt my credentials! It also meant Ivy would be treated better without me having to give away her secret or connive an excuse as to why the most mindfucked among us should be treated with kid gloves. Enough had seen and heard her part in it, and my word would carry more weight than it ever had! Who would doubt the dedication and judgment of Clark Gibson: Giant Killer? Maybe, just maybe, I could weasel my way back into potty training again. Oh nice it would be to walk around without the plastic rustle of a Monkeez or Koddles or Hippobottomuses around my waist. I closed my eyes and sucked thoughtfully on what was basically hot chocolate with some coffee grounds mixed in, basking in the combination of future based fantasy and recent triumph. There was an earthy bitterness that the creamer, sugar, and syrup, all but covered up that made them taste all the sweeter. The hint of coffee, the hint of liquid adulthood, made all the other ingredients better. Though there was something to be said about the almost relaxing rush of adding sweetener to something already sweet, like vanilla syrup in fatty goat’s milk. That had been an experience, I’d have to try again, I decided. Good thing Janet had some ready. I wondered if chocolate syrup would have tasted as good. Wait a minute… Something about that wasn’t right. Something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Janet?” Janet made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. “Yes, honey?” “I had a bottle of goat’s milk this morning, right?” “Mhm. Why?” I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something had happened this afternoon that really bothered me in hindsight. “No reason.” That was a lie, both to myself and her. Deep down, I had the worst feeling of something gnawing at me in the back of my brain. It snapped at me and snarled, baring its teeth, and I was too afraid to look at it and touch it, knowing it was going to bite me. I’d seen her pour the goat milk from the carton into the bottle. Watched her drink some right in front of me. Just like I’d had Beouf do for her stupid candies. The water was always right from the tap and the coffee was straight from a shared pot! That first sip of milk had been many bottles ago, though; many cartons. We’d gone through that original carton quickly. Janet had gotten others since, but they lasted much longer. Even though she was filling the bottles up regularly out of sight… “Janet, can I ask you something?” Janet kept her eyes on the road. “After we get home, baby. We need to have a serious talk.” I didn’t press it. I didn’t want to press it. “Okay…” On Picture Day, Jessica had taken a swig from one of my bottles and almost gagged from surprise. Janet had apologized profusely to her the next day over the phone… To herself, Janet muttered something along the lines of “Two steps forward, one step back.” She had no idea. Even before the weather started to turn chilly, Janet had taken to wearing cardigans. More than once she’d hurried out of the room when Littles started shouting, crossing her arms over her chest and running out the door as if embarrassed… I needed to break the silence in the car and the building symphony in my head. “How mad are you?” I’d caught myself doing double takes sitting in the grocery cart, wondering if she’d gained weight or if her boobs had always been so big. Same for when we showered together… The car was slowing down, we were turning into Janet’s neighborhood. “If you’re asking if you’re in trouble, you better believe it, bud. I still love you,” she added, “but that doesn’t mean you’re not gonna have consequences for what you did today.” A doctor had written her a prescription; except the doctor was supposedly a pediatrician for Littles; one who had been particularly focused on getting me to breastfeed… “Almost home,” Janet said, not unkindly. Every Amazon around me said ‘goat’s milk’ with just an edge of hesitation. Maybe guilt. Maybe code. Maybe both. They’d spoken with the same care used when adults spelled words they didn’t want children to hear…. “Yup…” I said. But what happened when the child could spell? You just made up a different word… We pulled into her garage. I was unbuckled from the car seat and was trembling on her hip. Janet’s eyebrows knitted together and she placed a warm hand on my forehead. ”No fever,” she said. But she knew something was up. How long? How long had something been going on? Was I even sure something was going on? She carried me into the kitchen straight away and plopped me down into the highchair. No restraints this time, just the tray. She wanted to talk to me and look me in the eye without holding me. This was decidedly not a lap conversation. She pulled her usual chair and positioned it directly in front of me so that we were nearly at eye level. “So, a few things,” Janet began with a rehearsed rhythm. “I’m very proud of a lot of what you did today, okay?” I was sitting as far back in that highchair as I could. My skin was burning. With what? I wasn’t sure. “Okay…” “You’re a very smart boy,” Janet praised. “You knew when to be quiet, when to listen, and when to talk. You were perfect in the clinic and in the office.” Just this Saturday, Janet had said the Yamatoan word for goat’s milk. Ivy used that same word just before suckling at her mother’s breasts… “Hmmhmm...” I’d already had dreams about it like my unconscious mind was trying to scream it at me… “And you’re a very sweet, sweet, loving boy. I know you just wanted to protect your old student.” Fuck! Why did she have to call Elmer my former student? This wouldn’t be nearly as difficult if she stuck to the narrative that we’d fed Brollish. Called Elmer ‘my friend’ or something. “Yeah,” I mumbled. “And Ambrose? She deserved it.” Hell yeah she did! Damn it! Why?! “But…?” “But what you did was very very impulsive and very very stupid,” she said as sternly as she dared. Her face and voice instantly turned to putty. This wasn’t Ms. Grange, the taskmaster of Third Grade. This was Janet. “It’s a miracle you weren’t hurt worse than you were! Do you have any idea how worried everyone was for you?!” I lowered my eyes to the tray. I gave a half-hearted, sheepish, “Sorry…” I chewed on my tongue, hoping, daring her to demand that I repeat myself. Call her ‘Mommy’. Come on Janet. I’ve taken one Amazon bitch today. Two if you count Brollish. Let me go for the hat trick. The dark haired woman let down her hair and shook it out, seeming more vulnerable, instead. “And if things hadn’t gone in just the right way, who knows what would have happened?! You could have been expelled. Do you want to be expelled? Do you?” Back down to the tray. “No…” I wanted to get the out of Oakshire Elementary. Just not like that. “Do you want to get taken away from me because they think you’re dangerous or too hostile for me to take care of?” I answered that one more readily. “No, ma’am.” One giant hand draped itself gently over my contritely folded pair. “Promise me you’ll never do something that stupid ever again.” I’d already made that promise once today to Beouf. I’d broken it just as quickly. “I promise.” This time it felt weightier on my shoulders. Like I was saying more than just words to stop her from worrying. I think…I think I really meant it this time. Janet took my hands in both of hers and squeezed them gently, just enough pressure so I could feel it, taking special care not to injure the bandaged one. “Okay. I believe you.” She stood up to her full height so that she was once again above me, a judge ready to hand down her sentence. “You’re grounded.” I looked up at her, not breaking eye contact. “Okay.” “No T.V. until Friday.” “I understand.” “Suspended from school means suspended from friends. No friend visits until Friday. That includes Little Voices” I twitched. That one stung. “Yes ma’am.” “No wandering around the house unattended. If you’re not in your crib, you’re with me. Clear?” “Yeah,” I said glumly. “Any questions?” Time to fight. “When did you switch out goat milk for breast milk in my bottle?” Right then and there I would have liked for any number of things to happen: I would have liked for Janet to have lied and told me that I was a silly Little boy with a big imagination. I would have loved for her to try and misdirect me; act confused or use word play. Technically all milk was breast milk. We just only called them breasts on people. I wanted her to get defensive. I wanted to present my evidence and have it batted away time and time again with easily refutable counter arguments so that I could get mad and shout at the top of my lungs what a hypocritical bitch she’d been; pretending to care about me and listen to me while still withholding basic truths about what she was subjecting me to. I wanted her to lie to me; for her to do it poorly so I could catch her. Or maybe for her to lie so well that I might yet believe her and let her gaslight me. Or maybe I could get in on the lie, make it a shared lie. But like so much in my life, things were not going according to my plan and what I wanted didn’t really factor in. Shock blasted itself across Janet’s face. She slowly sat back down and took a deep breath. “A while,” she admitted. “Pretty much as soon as the real goat milk ran out the first time.” She avoided eye contact. “How’d you figure it out?” “I asked myself why you’d have a bottle of goat milk at school and no diaper bag to carry it in.” “Damn,” Janet hissed under her breath. At a normal volume, she said, “My production has started increasing. And you were liking it. Seemed a shame to keep expressing and pouring it down the drain.” “Why’d Beouf mess up like that?” I asked. “I don’t know,” Janet said, looking more and more like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “I haven’t had the chance to ask. I think she thought I’d told you, and we were just using code words for your pride.” In a way, that’s kind of what they were doing. In a way, I kind of already knew. I just hadn’t wanted to know for sure. “Yeah,” I nodded. “That makes sense.” “Do you wanna know why?” Janet asked. My shoulders slumped and I slowly shook my head. “Not really. I think I figured it out.” “Do you wanna tell me?” she offered. I took a deep breath through my nose and puffed it out through my mouth. Then again. “Doctor gave you pills. You started lactating. You started slipping it in and replacing it until I couldn’t tell the difference.” I paused and shuddered again. “Probably didn’t even plan it like that. Just had the idea out of nowhere and tried it.” “Thank you,” she whispered, grateful for the benefit of the doubt. “Clark I…” I stopped her. “Don’t. I was making your life miserable. You were tired. You thought you were helping me. I get it.” I would have been overjoyed if she had taken the opportunity to list the supposed benefits of Amazon breast milk. I would have taken snippets about oxytocin, or digestive health, or bonding, or whatever and shoved them right up her nose. No such luck. I was swinging and she was taking every hit right on the chin. “You’re right.” Janet said. “I’m still sorry.” “Sometimes saying you’re sorry isn’t enough.” I threw back her words right in her face. My Mommy nibbled on her bottom lip. “What do you suggest?” I looked her right in the eye and told her the truth. “I don’t know.” “I’m not changing your punishment.” “Yeah,” I agreed. “That’s fair. I screwed up.” “I did too,” she undid the tray, and reached forward “Hug?” “No, thank you.” She took her hands back. “Sorry.” She reached forward again. “I’m gonna put you down on the floor.” “Okay.” “It’s okay to be mad,” Janet said. “I know.” I waited until she planted me back down on the kitchen floor. “I’m just disappointed.” It was true too. Both of our faces fell. No tears though. Just an awkward silence that built throughout the night no matter how much we talked and a growing cacophony in my brain every second we weren’t. I felt an ache inside me that had nothing to do with my guts. ************************************************************************************************************ I paced my crib, gritting my teeth and muttering to myself. “You can do this,” I grunted and growled. “You can do this.” My eyes remained fixated on the baby monitor just out of reach. “She hasn’t heard you. You’re not hypnotized. You’re not mindfucked. You’ve just been working harder, not smarter.” The subtle squeaks of the mattress and the loud crinkling of my nighttime diaper filled my ears while my pulse quickened. “She fucking drugged you!” I said. I gripped the rail with my fingers, and dug my toes into the mattress. Both were done through mittened gloves and feet. Not a punishment, supposedly. Just extra thick jammies for an incoming cold friend. “Shoved her own bodily fluids into your mouth! That bitch!” In the far corner, Lion sat passively, completely unimpressed with my theatrics. She was just an Amazon. Baby crazy to the core with layers and layers of benevolent narcissism. Should I really feel that surprised? That betrayed? This is exactly what Amazons did. This was just another check on the bingo card. I was fortunate that she didn’t take me to the nearest public playground and pop her tit in my mouth for all to see and gawk at. “It’s not like I’d confirmed it! It’s not like I knew knew! It’s not like if she’d asked I would have said ‘yes’!” It would have been nice to have been asked though. Maybe even tempting. Lion went sailing over the top rib. “Fuck you…” I growled at the traitor. “And this fucking monitor!” I said. “Make me have to call her…call her that word to get her attention. Even though we had a deal that I wouldn’t have to do that in private. So much for that! Typical!” To be fair, she had forgotten to tell me that part. An honest mistake. JUST LIKE SHE’D FORGOTTEN TO TELL ME ABOUT WHAT THE MILK REALLY WAS! I planted my feet and leaned hard at the foot of the crib. She wanted me to use the monitor. She was going to get what she wanted. I now had seventy two hours alone with her to sleep deprive her and break her will and make her existence as miserable as possible. “Mommy,” I said. Instantly the tiny light on the monitor blinked on, a beacon in the darkness of the room. “Mommy, I hate you!. I hate you, Mommy. I hate you. I hate you, Mommy. I hate you, Mommy. I hate you Mommy..” I started building up steam inside myself, smiling wickedly. “I hate you, Mommy! Mommy I hate you! Mommy! I hate you! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I hate you, Mommy!” Oh it felt good to be saying it again! To be saying it and knowing that Janet was hearing it! Saying a stupid password so a machine would click on was worth it! Especially because it meant Janet was hearing the word she most wanted to hear combined with the phrase she least wanted me to be able to say. “I hate you Mommy!” I wasn’t whispering anymore. Screw subtlety. Brash impulse had carried the day so far! I started counting on my fingers and toes, wiggling them through the jammies, keeping track in sets of twenty. My left hand was just starting to hurt again, but that was a plus in my book. Just like I’d intended, I’d drive that Amazon bitch to the brink of despair and hypocrisy. I’d either keep her up all night or force her to turn a blind ear to me. She was no friend! She was an addict posing as a caregiver! But I wasn’t going to give her her fix! After a hundred rounds, I started marching around the crib. “I! HATE! MOMMY!...I! HATE! MOMMY!... I HATE! MOMMY!” I was on strike! I was picketing! Clapping my muffled hands and repeating those words until I didn’t know where the end of one phrase started and the other began. “MOMMY! I! HATE! MOMMY! I HATE! I!” I was grinning like an idiot and feeling like a superhero. “HATE! MOMMY! I!...HATE! MOMMY! I!” The nursery door winged open. A familiar outline entered the room and flicked on the light. “Mommy?!” Standing in front of me was Janet in all of her non glory. Her wet hair from our shower was combed and down and everything about her body language reeked of quiet guilt. She wore loose fitting pink pajamas that almost complimented my fuzzy blue ones. Her eyes were puffy and tired, her smile nervous and self-deprecating. “Hey,” she said. “You called?” I clenched my good fist. Now or never. “I hate you, Janet!” There! I said it! Ha! Take that mental block! “I hate you so much!” She stood up tall for a second and then slumped back down. “Yeah. That’s fair.” “What?” She walked over to my crib and lowered the rail. “You sound like you need some company. Would you like some?” “Janet,” I said, completely discombobulated. “Didn’t you hear me? I said ‘I hate you, Mommy’.” She picked me up and cradled me so that I was still sitting up. “I heard you, baby. I still love you, though. No matter what.” “Nonononononononono!” I started to kick and struggle away from her rapidly approaching bosom. “Not again! Not again!” The Amazon put me down on the floor, holding my arms immobile just so I wouldn’t hit her. “I’m not gonna do that!” she hushed. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m not gonna do that! I fucked up! Sorry!” I regained control of myself. “What?” Had she just dropped an F-Bomb? “You heard me.” Back to the game, then. “I hate you.” “I know,” she chirped. ”That doesn’t change how I feel. I still love you.” “I hate you, Mommy!” She picked me up again. “Do you want to tell me you hate me here, or do you want to keep Mommy company in her bedroom?” “Bedroom?” I parroted. Why was she taking me to her bedroom? “I…I…bedroom?” Janet took that for consent. “Okay. I’d like that. Come on.” She took three steps and stopped beside my stuffie. “Oops! Almost forgot Lion.” She balanced me on one hip so she could lean down and pick him up. “Do we leave him here or bring him with?” “What’s going on?” I asked. “Why are you doing this?” “Okay,” she said. “Let’s leave him here to guard the room.” “NO!” I shouted. “Okay. He can come with us. We have room.” “I hate you!” I repeated. “I hate you, Mommy!” “Yup.” Nursery gave way to hallway, hallway bled into living room. Living room passed by kitchen and entryway to the dark, peaceful bedroom. “Mommy! Stop! I hate you!” I tore Lion from her grasp and clung to him. More like she handed him over to me, but still… Janet let out a big yawn. A lioness in the heat of the savannah. “I’m tired,” she said. “Keep me company in bed? Tell me you hate me while we fall asleep?” Over by the gargantuan bed, so similar to what I’d slept in back in my old house was the detachable infant cot. She’d finally put it together. “I’m not sleeping in that!” I pointed as best I could to the baby bed attached to the real one. My Mommy considered it for a second and then responded with, “Okay. How about Lion sleep in it tonight? You can cuddle with me.” “This changes nothing!” “Okay.” “This doesn’t make up for the milk thing!” “Agreed.” “Then why…? I hate you!” My padded bum made contact with the massive mattress. So soft! Softer than I even remembered. “Okay,” Janet said, plucking Lion from me and putting him in the bassinet. Keep me company?” “I…I…” I froze. “Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” “Thank you, sweetie.” she pulled me in close to her and worked her way to the head of her bed, gently tugging me along and tucking us both under the covers, burying us each under the massive duvet on her perfectly made bed. The covers!. Heavier than anything than had been put in my crib thus far, but the deep pressure provided a sense of regulation. I was practically swimming! Floating in a warm bathtub where I had no hope or fear of drowning. “Okay,” she told me softly. “Tell me that you hate me. I’m ready.” The warmth from another person’s body! Another sensation I did not expect to relive any time soon. I’d sat in Janet’s lap and been carried to the point where she was almost a living piece of furniture where my body was concerned, but this was different. Damn did she smell good, too. Like so much more than lavender and piss. “I don’t want to,” I grumbled. “Not right now.” “Okay,” Janet said. “Can I give you one last kiss before I fall asleep?” This was a trick. Or a trap. Something about her smell was conditioning me. Pheromones or something! Or the blankets had something in them that was draining my energy away. Or there was a subliminal message playing in the room that only affected me! “Okay,” I whimpered. “Kiss me.” She gave me one soft kiss right between the eyes. “I love you,” she cooed and then nestled down, cradling me in the crook of her arm right beside her, No escaping it. Not tonight. I was hurt and exhausted; physically and emotionally drained. Confused beyond all reason and deep down I just wanted a tiny taste of peace that didn’t feel like burning oblivion or hurting someone who truly, madly, deeply, loved me. So I closed my eyes. ************************************************************************************************* Janet’s soft coos and probing fingers woke me. “Morning, sleepy head.” “Hrn?” I groaned. I turned my head to the side. We were back in the nursery. I was on the changing table. Janet was still in her pajamas, and my snaps were undone all the way up to my waist. Morning birds were singing and the first shafts of sunlight were shining through the window, but it was still incredibly early. Zoge and Ivy were meeting Beouf at the bus loop right about now. “Mommy’s just gonna change you and take you back to bed.” “Huh?” I groaned, rubbing my eyes. “Why?” “We’ve got the day off. Remember?” “But…” Janet ripped the tapes off the landing zone and the cold chill of morning air on urine soaked privates and colder chill of a fresh baby wipe made their way over me, same as every morning. That’s not what surprised me, however. I’d woken up wet, messy, or on the verge of exploding every day since my life had been turned sideways. Yet this was the first time I didn’t remember waking up in the middle of the night to relieve myself. I had legitimately peed myself while unconscious. I was a bedwetter! “Go back to sleep, Clark.” Janet shushed me, taping up the fresh diaper so that it was nice and snug. So dry. So clean. So comfortable. “I just didn’t want you to leak. Go back to sleep.” End Part 9

Chapter 111: The Trial of the Century There I was, again: waiting in the school clinic, awaiting a rigged trial while Brollish worked sight unseen to ensure my doom and damnation. The key difference between this time and the last was that I definitely needed that fresh diaper that the nurse kept on the corner of her desk. That and I had actually done what I was being accused of. I’d rushed up to another teacher and sucker punched her right in her schnoz. Then she’d smacked me so hard I saw stars and spanked me within an inch of my life. In the chaos of it all, students and ex-coworkers had been drawn out of their classrooms and witnessed the thrashing of my lifetime. There was no getting around this. There was no way out. I was done. The best case scenario was that I would get expelled and Janet would find me a full time private babysitter. No daycare would take a Little with a documented history of violence against Amazons. The only place that would is a place I’d never want to visit. Maybe Jessica would do it, I fantasized. She wouldn’t be so bad. She was something of a trust fund baby anyways, so she could afford to hang out with me for free everyday; at least until the end of the school year. She wanted to be a teacher, too, and talked to me more like I was an adult (or at least a very smart child) than most. It wouldn’t be spending my afternoons with Melony sipping on coffee, but it wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Yeah. That could be nice. I shuddered as the most intrusive thought burrowed into my brain: What if Janet didn’t have a choice but to send me to New Beginnings? Yes, she was my legal guardian, my Mommy, but wasn’t it possible to take that away from her? All it had taken was some typing on a keyboard to get my adulthood revoked and have me shoved into her arms. Would it really take much more to declare Janet an unfit parent and then rip me out of those arms so that I could be re-raised in a so-called proper setting? “Shhhhhhh,” Janet hushed me, rubbing my back and stroking my hair. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe. Mommy’s here. You’re safe.” I wasn’t safe. I just wasn’t being beat anymore. She cradled me, and bobbed me like I was still screaming, but I had been almost completely silent from the moment I’d caught my breath. Based on her heart rate, her behavior was more to hide her own shaking. She was just as afraid as me. Angry too. She was just doing her damndest to hide it from me. She didn’t want her ‘baby’ to see her this upset. It made sense that she was upset, though. Everything was coming undone, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Nothing anyone could do. After Tracy saved me, events sped up and proceeded in an almost maniacal clockwork fashion. Brollish power walked out, flanked by Forrest and every spare hand in the front office and guidance. They took Ambrose away to the teacher’s lounge in the cafeteria, still nursing the bloody nose I gave her. I hoped she was telling the truth. Janet blitzed out of her classroom the second her students could be shuttled off to other teachers in her building. Word spread that fast. Or maybe she’d been in the crowd that saw the aftermath of my stunt. Things were still kind of fuzzy. Tracy handed me off to Janet and took control of the preschool class, expertly diffusing outraged cries from Mrs. Dunwhich. Tracy’s man mountain of a husband stalked off to the front office, a man on a warpath, and Beouf gave Tracy the bare bones of what she’d seen while Zoge did her best to regain control and herd the other Littles away. We were waiting in the clinic for about ten minutes for the school nurse to come back from the cafeteria. My left hand was starting to swell, and bruising discoloration was popping up above and below my backside. Every part of my body that Ambrose had connected with was throbbing, the right side of my face included. The real pain happened in between the throbs; in the seconds before the aching blunt sensations crescendoed to the point where it was hard to think. When it hurt so bad that I had to close my eyes and hold my breath, I had something to focus on; something to not think about. It was on the back end, as waves of physical discomfort receded back down and I was able to think as myself that I felt despair. We were fucked. We were fucked and I’d been the one to fuck it all up. As recently as last week, I might have been proud of that. I’d burned the world to the ground around me one last time, blaze of glory as the explosions consumed me. Unfortunately, my friendships had started to grow back like weeds in the garden of my life; seemingly nourished by the manure that had been dumped all over it. And here I was about to lose them all over again. Tracy; Beouf; my students; maybe even Janet. I was going to lose Zoge and Ivy as well. Billy, Chaz, and Annie were bastards but they were my bastards. Tommy too. I’d miss the other kids in Beouf’s class. If nothing else they were a good challenge to poke at and gauge how far I was pushing things. Would I even get a chance to say goodbye? What about Amy? What about Pink Hair or the Block Guys, or Wutzhisname? Would I still get to see her once a week or would Janet stop going to Little Voices meetings, too overwhelmed by everything? Would I still have her after today? Fuck, what had happened in my life that I counted a bunch of baby crazy Amazons and Adopted Littles in various states of emotional and cognitive decay as friends?! The nurse walked in and went straight to the sink. “Good,” she said to Janet. “You’re already here.” She started washing her hands and putting on disposable gloves. She motioned with her head over to a vinyl backed medical couch; normally just used for children to nap on while waiting for parents to pick them up if they had a fever or had puked. “Lay him down there and get him undressed.” Janet’s head turned to the still-open door. “Can we get some privacy? Maybe do this in the bathroom?” “I’m a nurse, Ms. Grange. Clark doesn’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” “I meant from others,” Janet said. “I don’t want other children coming in.” More to the point, the clinic was attached to the front office, and very close to the receptionist area by design. The nurse sighed tiredly but put some artificial empathy into her tone. “Good point. Wouldn’t want any of the other kids to worry too much.” Translation: Wouldn’t want any extra sympathy to spread or parents to get involved in the wake of my upcoming expulsion. Carrying me, Janet closed the door and locked it, then she laid me down on the soft medical mattress and began to undress me. I shivered, as she popped open the romper button by button, peeling the green and blue striped garment off of me. I’d broken out into just enough of a sweat to make myself uncomfortable and cold in the air conditioning. Even on the overly padded surface, a changing table pretending to be a mattress, I groaned and winced with my weight shifting and being moved around. The nurse shuffled over and took a knee to examine me more closely. “Mmm-mmm-mmm…” she said. “You really did quite a number on yourself.” “On himself?” Janet cocked an eyebrow. “Just a turn of phrase, ma’am.” I made eye contact with my caregiver. “Just a turn of phrase, Mommy,” I echoed a warning. This lady spent all her time in close proximity to Brollish and Forrest. Pretty easy to guess where her sympathies lay. Anything we said could and would be used in the kangaroo court of law. “I’m going to look at his hand, alright?” the nurse said. She inched her hand closer to mine, but waited for Janet to give permission. “Ask him, too.” Janet told her. The slightest sharpest inhale, and then. “Clark, honey? I’m going to take a look at your hurt hand, okay?” I nodded. I flinched as she gingerly poked and squeezed at my bruising left hand. “Tell me if it hurts.” “Ow,” I said. “Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.” She worked her tongue in her mouth and wiggled her nose with every ‘ow’. “Good news is I don’t think it’s broken, just really really bruised. What did you hit, kiddo?” “I don’t know,” I lied automatically. “He might not have hit anything,” Janet said. “Ambrose might have hit him there or he might have hit it on the ground when she dropped him.”This was a bold face lie and Janet knew it! If half of my face hadn’t been on fire, my own surprise would have betrayed me. Luckily, the nurse wasn’t looking at my face, just then. She doubled back to the sink and opened a cabinet, returning with what looked something like a giant aqua-marine tape measure. She flipped open the top like it a massive box of dental floss and pulled out a length of thick moist ribbon. “This bandage is covered with some powerful numbing nanites,” she said. “This should also help bring down the swelling.’ She started wrapping my hand in the wet stuff, binding my entire left hand in a mummy’s mitten. “Does that feel better, hon?” I swallowed my pride and let out a pitiful, “Uh-huh.” It really did too. The cold wetness of the stuff seeped into my skin and numbed everything and the air dried the outside. Ten seconds after she cut the soggy tape off, the pain in my hand was gone. The nurse tossed the first pair of gloves, washed her hands, and then pulled on a second pair. “In a few hours that hand is gonna ache again,” she said. “Baby aspirin or some other children’s pain killer will help over the next day or two. Just make sure he’s not crawling around on it or banging on it for fun. It’s like the dentist where he doesn’t feel it now, he will feel it later.” “Got it,” Janet replied. Then, to me she asked, “Got it, Clark?” “Yeah,” I sighed. “I got it.” “You may want to put on some gloves,” the nurse advised Janet. She put the bandages back and took out a tube of cream. “Let’s take care of some of those other owies.” I chomped down on my tongue. The last time I’d seen a tube like that was after I’d been zapped and ninety-nine percent of my body hair had been scorched off. I was already breaking orders by unconsciously digging my hands into the couch, gripping it like it was an animal whose guts I could rip out. “You take care of the bottom, and I’ll take care of the top?” the nurse offered. Janet sanitized her hands, but only put on one glove. She grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and held it very close to my face. “Sure thing,” she said. “Juuuuust a second.” There was a clicking sound. “Roll over on your belly for me, Clark.” I did. Then another several clicks. “What are you doing?” the nurse asked. “Documentation,” Janet said. “That cream helps repair the skin, doesn’t it? Gets rid of bruising and discoloration?” The nurse only smiled and said “Ah.” I rolled back over and stared at the ceiling while one giant dabbed numbing cream onto my face, while the other ripped open my diaper and wiped my backside. “Hold still, bubba,” I heard, before my legs were lifted up and I heard a few more clicks from her camera. “You must have fallen really hard on your face, Clark” the nurse pretended to muse. “Did you trip while you were running around?” “He didn’t trip,” Janet’s voice had turned to ice. She was still changing me, spreading that goop filled with pain numbing nanites in it and slipping the fresh Monkeez underneath me. But her voice was looking for a fight. “That’s where Ambrose started beating him.” The nurse was still playing defense for Administration. “How can you tell? Kids trip and fall all the time. Accidents happen.” Janet taped me back up and rolled me over. “Concrete doesn’t leave hand prints.” “Ah.” A tense two minutes later, I was sitting back up and having a hand mirror shoved in my face. There was some slight discoloration, a bit of red irritation on my face, but it didn’t look like a bear had tried to maul me. I’d fallen asleep on my side in the sun and barely avoided a proper sunburn. My left hand was bandaged up in bright colors, but the right side of my face, back, thighs, and buttocks looked like I had the barest beginnings of diaper rash. Nothing a bit of makeup wouldn’t fix, or even just dimming the lights. My damage was highlighted. Ambrose’s was faded. Typical. “Thank you, Mommy,” I said, looking at the bulge in Janet’s pocket. “You’re very welcome, sweetie.” Janet told me. She started dressing me back up. “You don’t have to do that,” the nurse said. “I know,” Janet replied. “Just easier for the trip home.” “Trip home?” the nurse asked. “School’s not over yet.” “I’m leaving early.” Her eyes were focused on me, and buttoning up all of the snaps on the aired out romper, but her body was tense. Waiting for the challenge. It came. “That might not be such a good idea,” the nurse said. “I have a feeling Mrs. Brollish will need to talk to him. She’s doing interviews right now to figure out what happened. Make sure she gets all sides of the story.” “It’s okay, Mommy,” I said, playing the perfect Little angel that I most certainly wasn’t. Only the guilty run, and running wasn’t going to get me anywhere. “I can stay.” Janet gave my forehead another kiss, and picked me up. “Okay, baby. Let’s get you back to class.” “Actually…” the nurse interjected, opening the clinic door again. “He should probably stay here. Might not be safe to let him back in the classroom.” “It’s his naptime. I’ve got a pack and play in my room, still,” Janet offered. The nurse gave a pleasant, yet hollow smile. “That’s not a good idea, either. Let’s just keep him here. He can sleep on my couch if he needs to.” “I’m not sleepy,” I said. The Amazons went forward in the conversation without me. “You’re free to go back to your room to teach, Ms. Grange. I don’t mind watching him.” They didn’t want me and Janet alone. Didn’t want either of us unsupervised or unaccounted for. Janet sat down in one of the chairs and held me in her lap, wrapping her arms around me, afraid that I might float away from her. “We’ll wait here, then.” I felt another kiss on the top of my head. I really wanted Lion right then. I settled for reaching down and gripping the side of Janet’s lap with my good hand and sucking on my pacifier. Our first few visitors were students. Nothing major. Just kids getting afternoon medication and the like. One kid stopped and interrogated Janet. “Is he sick?” that sort of thing. Nothing that couldn’t be shooed away, with the worst one being a fourth grader that couldn’t resist saying “feel better”. But then a familiar tone in a language I still barely understood came swinging into the clinic. Ivy waddled hand in hand with her mother past the clinic, but her head turned to the side and peaked in. We made eye contact. “Clark!” She slipped out of Zoge’s grasp, climbed up on top of a neighboring seat. “Ivy!” Janet laughed. “What are you doing?” As an answer, the Little Yamatoan gently leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. Light as a feather, she applied the barest bit of pressure so that I could sense the loving intent. “Ivy,” Zoge said, her voice retaining its innate musicality. “Make good choices.” Ivy stood back up and hopped back down. “Yes, Mommy.” “Hana,” Janet giggled, forgetting the perilous position we were in. “What’s going on?” Zoge picked her daughter up, and positioned her on her hip. “It seems our children are picking up bad habits from one another,” she said, cryptically. “No, I mean, what are you doing here?” “Ah,” Zoge nodded. “Mrs. Brollish wishes to interview everyone she can that witnessed...” a beat of hesitation, a glance at the nurse, “the incident. Ivy and I were reporting what we saw happen. Mrs. Beouf and Miss Tracy are watching the children. I am on my way to relieve them so that Mrs. Beouf can report. We’re already calling parents to inform them what happened and to have them come and pick up their children early.” “Oh,” Janet said. “Alright.” “Good luck,” Zoge said. “And see you tomorrow, Clark.” That earned her an upturned eyebrow from the nurse. Speaking of the nurse, both Ivy and Zoge’s back was to the woman. “I’m sorry, Clark. You taught me to never ask for a hug without permission.” The way she said it sounded rehearsed and phony. She did something with her eye, too. Did…did Ivy just wink at me?! “Ivy,” Zoge said, then she said something in Yamatoan. Probably the word for ‘quiet’. “Sorry, Mommy.” “Good luck,” Zoge said, and then slipped with her daughter back out into the reception area and out the door. Calling parents. Interviewing students and teachers. Sequestering witnesses. Interrupting afternoon classes. Brollish was in high gear; full damage control. She wanted this over now; after school just wouldn’t do. I’d probably just ruined her day; so I at least had that going for me. A brief knock on the side of the door, and Emiliano came striding in. The top of his head didn’t quite touch the massive frame, but he ducked out of habit. “Hey, Jefe,” he said, his hoarse yet friendly growl just above a stage whisper. “How you holdin’ up?” “He’s fine,” Janet said. “He got hurt, but he’ll be okay.” I’m not sure how it’s possible to give someone the side eye when they’re standing directly in front of them, but Tracy’s husband found a way. “I’m shook,” I said. “But I’ll heal.” Emiliano hunkered down on the balls of his feet. “Good. Good. You took a heck of a whoopin’.” A mischievous grin played at the corners of his mouth. “It’s a good thing you’re not taller or I might be scared of you.” I chuckled. The biggest man I’d ever met just told me that I took a beating like a champ. How could I not? “Sir,” the nurse tried to interrupt. unless you’re a parent or a teacher, you need to leave.” He waved her off. “Mmmhmm. Sure. Uno momento.” “What are you doing here?” I asked. He ran his hands through his thick black hair. “I was here to help Tracy quit,” he said. “Bring her in. Let her talk. Bring her out. No funny business. Comprende?” A rock dropped in my stomach. “Yeah,” I said. “I understand.” “Yeah,” the big man nodded sympathetically, “Good thing we saw you, first, eh?” I jolted up in Janet’s lap. “You mean…?” I dared to hope. “Tracy’s staying?” “Sir…” the nurse tried to catch Emiliano’s attention. She went ignored by all of us. He shrugged. “Depends.” “On what?” Janet asked. She squeezed me a little tighter. I squeezed back. “On how scary I was,” Emiliano flashed his teeth. “How smart Brollish is. If Tracy wants to keep coming here.” “Sir. You need to-” Emiliano stood back up to his full height and the nurse stopped talking. “Yeah, yeah,” he said. “I’m going.” A boulder sized fist floated down to me. “You stay strong, eh, Jefe?” I took my good hand and bumped it against his. “Right on. See you around, Boss. I’ll stop by your class and tell her you said ‘Hello’ before I go.” The nurse was visibly relieved when she heard the exit door swing open. Right on the man mountain’s heels, Beouf popped in, holding of all things, a baby bottle. It wasn’t filled with milk, exactly; none of the overly processed cow stuff from the cafeteria. This stuff had more of a creamy tint to it. More off-white than white. Kind of like goat’s milk. “Hey,” she said, quietly. “How you holding up?” “We’re fine,” Janet said just as softly. “Got some owies but they’re taken care of for now.” My old mentor nodded. “Good.” Everyone was talking so low right now, afraid of saying something too loud or having something overheard. All parties on both sides of this trial were in cloak and dagger mode. Nobody wanted the other to hear something they shouldn’t, and both words and the volume that they were spoken at were being chosen very carefully. She looked at me and shook the bottle. “Do you want a bottle, buddy?” Janet reached for it instead. I looked up at her and caught a mixture of concern and confusion. “The bottle is yours,” Beouf said. “I popped by your room and grabbed it out of a mini fridge.” “Oh,” was all Janet said. I felt her entire body heat up for some reason. “Goat’s milk.” Some combination of looming existential dread and topically applied pain killers kept me from questioning why Janet would have goat’s milk at school. She couldn’t even remember to bring the diaper bag half the time. In hindsight… “If you want, we can start stocking it in my room,” Beouf plowed over the thoughts that wouldn’t quite come to me. “Give it to him for snack time or something. Take it with us to lunch.” “Lunch?” I echoed. Did Beouf really think that I’d be back for lunch this time tomorrow? “We’ll still have to keep it in the classroom,” my oldest friend said. “You know how the cafeteria folks are. They don’t like holding onto anything that isn’t theirs. It’s already a stretch to get them to wash and dry the bibs everyday.” There was a nervous frenetic energy underpinning Beouf’s speech. It had the cadence of someone on death row talking about what they were doing tomorrow. We weren’t going to win this, but she was going to go down kicking and screaming with me anyways. “Yeah,” Janet said. “I’d like that.” “What’s going on?” I asked. Beouf looked down and crossed her arms. “What’s going on is that I’m kinda miffed at you, young man.” She switched instantly to her stern teacher tone. It was the worst kind, too. Not mad…just disappointed. “You made me a promise, and broke it.” I was leaning back into Janet before I realized it, trying to bury the back of my head in her so that she would somehow magically envelop me. “What promise?” Janet asked. The volume of conversation had jumped up more than a notch. Anyone listening in would barely need to strain to overhear. The nurse looked up from her desk again, her fingers drifting over to the computer keyboard. “We had a talk this morning about following rules and procedures, didn’t we, Clark?” My face burned hot and I stared down at my knees. “Yes ma’am.” “And who got out of line when they shouldn’t have?” “I did.” “And do we get out of line when we’re transitioning from the cafeteria to the classroom?” “No ma’am…” “And did you?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Should you have?” “No ma’am.” “What do you say?” I swallowed my pride. It was the least I could do. “Sorry, Mrs. B. Sorry, Mommy.” I braced myself for the next question. Something about controlling my temper or not letting bullies get the best of me. No such line of questioning came. All that happened was Melony ruffled my hair. “Mrs. B. is still upset with your choices,” she said, “but she still loves you very much.” I mumbled something. It might have been “I love you, too”. The bottle’s rubber nipple brushed against my cheek. “Drink your bottle, hon.” I accepted the bottle, and Janet jostled me around so that I was cradled again. Letting her hold it for me was easier with my injured hand. Our breathing started to sync up while the cool creamy milk filled my mouth. Waves of relaxation started to settle into me. My pulse dropped as my belly filled. I wasn’t even that thirsty, but the behavior mixed with the body heat and the familiar flavor mingled together to give me a sense of calm. I wasn’t about to get expelled. I was just chugging my own version of a breakfast shake first thing in the morning. Or having liquid desert right before a weekend nap. Speaking of breakfast shake, something was off about the flavor of this batch. It was actually a little too creamy; with something unnatural about it. I pulled back and threw my head out so that I could get the nipple out of my mouth. “Vanilla?” Beouf blushed. “I hope you don’t mind. I put some syrup in from the coffee mix.” It was directed at Janet, not me. “It’s fine,” Janet sighed. “I just want today to be over.” “You and me, both,” Beouf agreed. “You and me, both.” In the far distance, past the reception area, the sound of a heavy door slamming closed and equally heavy footsteps registered. Someone was making a very loud exit from Brollish’s office. Probably not Brollish from the sound of it. That witch could glide across the floor. “That’s my cue.” Beouf said. “Time to put out some more fires. Wish me luck.” “Good luck,” Janet said while I took the bottle back in my mouth. Beouf brushed shoulders with the next visitor in my own private cell. “I just got done talking to that principal of yours,” Martha Dunwhich said to the nurse. Her hair was frizzier and her face was still red, but her eyes weren’t puffy and her makeup was intact. She’d been yelling and she wasn’t done. She slammed her palms on the nurse’s desk and leaned over so she could shout directly into the other woman’s face. “Are you also going with the story that a Little broke that awful woman’s nose?!” “I”m not allowed to divulge that information,” the nurse replied, coldly. Dunwhich wasn’t having it. “You examined her. Is her nose even broken? Let me see her! I bet she just got kicked” “I’m not allowed to divulge that information.” “You expect me to believe that a grown woman was attacked?” Dunwhich shrieked. “Attacked by…by…a baby?!” “Ahem…” Janet cleared her throat. The Amazon turned around with a sneer. “Wh-?” Then immediately melted when she saw me her shriek turned to a squeak. “Awwwww!” My entire body tensed. Feeling it, Janet drew me in closer, cradling me so that half of my vision was obscured by her breasts. It was a nicer view than I’d been previously treated to. Dunwhich trotted over to Janet, her eyes white saucers. “You poor dear!” she gushed. “You’ve had quite a day haven’t you?” Uninvited, she took the seat next to Janet. “Does it hurt bad, baby boy?” “Hello,” Janet said. “Do we know you?” Dunwhich regained her composure. “No. Not at all. Martha Dunwhich, pleasure to meet you.” She extended her arm out. “My hands are full,” Janet said just warmly enough to not put the other woman off. I.E.P. meetings or not, teaching is too often a customer service industry as much as anything. Janet had that skill set on lock. The start of this nightmare took her hand back. “Of course,” she said. “Of course. I met your Little boy right as he had his first accident.” Not this story again. I kept my eyes straight up so I wouldn’t roll them. “You’re his Mommy?” “Thank goodness!” Martha Dunwhich said. “For a second I was worried that…that…that bully had Adopted him and that’s why she was spanking him.” Janet shifted in her seat subtly, so that her knees were starting to face away from the other woman. “So do you know Clark besides that?” “Oh no, no, no,” Dunwhich corrected herself. “I haven’t seen him since. That and today. I gave his class some extra cupcakes! He was so cute!” Her hands fidgeted her lap, like she was just envisioning reaching out and pinching me on the cheek again. “So well behaved too! A bit rambunctious and silly, but that’s natural for them.” I sucked on the milk harder, almost wanting to gag myself. Janet’s face was a placid lake, but based on the subtle shifting in her lap, I had a feeling we were in this boat together. For once, the whole ‘seen and not heard’ thing was playing to my advantage. I didn’t want to talk to this woman. Oblivious to our own discomfort, Dunwhich continued to yammer. “I’m going to have to go home, and explain to Emily why hitting Littles is wrong, now. She’s probably traumatized, watching your poor sweet boy get…” She topped. “You know what I mean.” “I do,” Janet said evenly. “And that principal is making up some story like he hit her!” I stopped the flow of milk with my tongue. What was she talking about? She was there when I marched right up to Ambrose and threw my whole weight into that punch. “As if such a sweet Little boy would purposefully attack an adult!” Except she wasn’t! She’d been handing out those cupcakes on the side of the cafeteria, while Ambrose had been dressing Elmer down- literally- around the corner closer to the front entrance! Could it be? Had the angles accidentally worked in my favor?! “Hmmm…” was all that Janet said. “He might have been a tad naughty and excited! But he didn’t deserve that!” “Ma’am,” the nurse said. “You really shouldn’t be-” “I shouldn’t what?” Dunwhich turned on Brollish’s eyes and ears here. “Tell the truth?” She took out her phone. “I saw the whole thing and filmed it! Right in front of the kids, this abusive monster just picks up a baby and STARTS…!” She looked at me again and lowered her voice. “I’ve already told her. If that brute is in Emily’s classroom tomorrow morning, I’m pulling my daughter out and taking this to the School Board.” I let the milk flow again. Administrators feared two things: Angry Parents and School Board members. If I was going down, I was happy to know I was taking Ambrose down with me. But maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t going down, either. “I’m sorry,” Mrs. Dunwhich said. “I’ve got to get my daughter out of here. I hope things turn out okay for you and your Little.” One of the pushiest Amazons I’d ever encountered (and that was saying a lot) showed herself out, and left me to finish the bottle and be burped in relative privacy with only the nurse for silent company. “You’re gonna be fine,” Janet whispered over and over again, patting and rubbing at my back. “You’re gonna be fine.” She didn’t fully believe it either. Some unexpected blessings were blowing our way but we were far from out of the woods. I belched without complaint, doing everything I could not to make things more difficult than they were. Beouf came back in, only poking her head through the open door. “Come on,” she whispered. “It’s almost time.” Janet carried me past reception on her hip. Beouf lead the way, despite us all knowing where we were headed. “Won’t be long. We’ve only got one person ahead of us.” Like a shadow, the nurse followed us, keeping her distance but still doing her level best to mind anyone’s business but her own. We still couldn’t speak freely. We were waiting in the hallway just outside of Brollish’s office, when a mighty need came over me; one that had nothing to do with bodily functions or autonomy. “Can you please put me down?” I asked Janet, tapping her on her shoulder. “I need to walk into the office.” “Why?” “I just…I just do, okay?” That was good enough for Janet. She set me down softly on the carpet, leaning over so she could still hold my good hand. I gave hers a squeeze. She squeezed back. The door opened slowly and quietly. Out of the office came two relatively tiny figures. They were a mother and son; Tweeners. The Mom was about the same height as Tracy, but skinnier, practically stick like, her face wrinkled prematurely with the constant worry lines of someone walking life’s tightrope. There were a handful of fifth-graders taller than her. By graduation, that number would shoot up with growth-spurts and early onset puberty. The boy, a four year old, and because of his heritage, he was one of the few students that I was still slightly taller than. “Mr. Gibson?” Elmer asked. “Hey, buddy.” I waved meekly, trying not look as ridiculous as I felt right then. Elmer’s face scrunched up and his mouth opened, but no sound came out. His face turned pinker and pinker and tears started dripping down his cheeks before finally a tea kettle of a wail issued forth from his throat. Oh no! Not again! I stared at the floor, ashamed at the monster I’d become to my own student. He couldn’t even look at me without breaking down into a panic attack. I gripped the pacifier dangling from my collar and considered shoving it into my mouth. Or would that make things worse? Two arms, slightly pudgy with baby fat wrapped around my torso and a not-quite kindergartener’s head buried itself in my shoulder. “THANKYOOOOOOOOU!” Elmer bawled into me. “TH-TH-TH-TH-THANKYOOOOOOOOOOOU!” “Thank you?” my voice started to crack. “Elmer? B-b-buddy. What are you-? Why are you-? Why?” “I’M SORRRRRRRRRRRY! I’M SORRY! I’M S-S-S-SORRRRRRY! I’M SO S-S-SORRY!” I dislodged my arms from the tiny Tweener’s grip, just so that I could hug him back with all the strength I had left in my body. “It’s okay, buddy,” I whispered. “It’s okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Nothing.” “Awwwwww,” Beouf loudly cooed over me. “Looks like you finally got that hug you were both looking for. Isn’t that sweet?” “Yeah,” Janet’s voice cracked. “It really is.” Their comments went completely over my head. My entire focus on the child who needed me right then and there. “I LOVE YOU, MR. GIBSON!” Elmer blubbered. “I LOVE YOU! I’M SORRY! I LOVE YOU! I! LOVE! YOOOOU! THANK YOOOOOOU!” I’d done a lot of crying since my Adoption. A lot. A lot, a lot. I’d shed more tears in the last several weeks than I had in the several decades prior. The freedom to scream and shout and cry at every thing that vexed me was one of the few freedoms I was still permitted. One type of crying that I hadn’t done a whole lot of, however, was happy crying. My face broke out into the biggest, mushiest, dopiest grin, and as my eyes scrunched together, the drops of water came out as if squeezed from a nearly wrung out sponge. For a moment, just for a moment, I was my old self. I was a teacher, an adult giving comfort to a poor child who was overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the past few hours. For just a second, I was Clark Gibson, preschool teacher, and it was the greatest goddamn feeling in the world. “It’s okay, buddy,” I said as calmly as I could, my voice fluctuating with the tightness of my throat. I just kept rubbing his back in the same way that Janet had taken to rubbing mine. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” For just a bit, I believed my own lie. His mother’s hand landed softly on his shoulder. “Okay, Elmer. It’s time to go home.” Elmer stepped back from me and wiped his nose on his shirt. “But-!” “You were a good boy and told Mrs. Brollish what you know,” his mother said. “Now it’s time to go.” Always more mature for his age than people gave him credit for, Elmer sniffled, wiped his nose on his own shirt, and took his mother’s hand. “Bye.” I wiped my own nose on my bicep. “Bye, bud.” The pair walked out into the empty reception area and off into the front parking lot just by the bus loop. Janet knelt down and brushed away my own tears. “You okay?” she asked. I shook my head. “No. Not really. But I don’t have a choice right now, do I?” My Mommy’s lip quivered like she was about to start. “No. I don’t think we do. Come on.” Flanked by Beouf, Janet and I walked into Brollish’s office hand in hand. Brollish didn’t get up from her desk. Scooted off to the side, was another older woman staring dutifully down at her county issued laptop and typing up a storm. “Ms. Grange. Clark. Please, have a seat.” She gestured to the familiar face. “Miss Bankhead, our Resource Compliance Specialist, is here simply to record.” Bankhead acknowledged our presence with the briefest glimpse. “Hello.” Then she went back to typing as if she were a court stenographer. The flaps in Brollish’s throat went taut as she craned her neck over us. “Mrs. Beouf, would you please shut the door on your way out?” Beouf shut the door, but joined us by the seat next to where Janet and I were standing. “I’m here as a representative and advocate.” “Of?” “I’m Clark’s teacher, and Ms. Grange’s union representative. I have every right to be here if Janet as either the child’s legal guardian or faculty member allows me to be.” Janet sat down and pulled me into her lap. “Yes, please. Thank you,” she said immediately. Beouf did not take the seat beside us, yet. She was staring at Brollish, the old crone busy making calculations. “You weren’t here for Ivy,” Brollish said. “Mrs. Zoge is both her mother and a school employee,” Beouf said matter of factly. “You needed at least one adult minding my class.” There was a moment of clacking on Bankhead’s laptop. “Correct? We have that in writing? We still have that in the email you sent to me immediately after and the notes from when we talked?” Brollish didn’t respond, but Bankhead gave a subtle head bob in the affirmative. “You weren’t here for the last student I interviewed,” Brollish tried. Beouf pushed her glasses up my nose. “Elmer is not my student. He had his mother with him. Beyond basic supervisory duties to ensure his safety that all faculty and staff have, I have no connection with him or his mother.” Brollish tried a verbal parry. “So are you saying I should have let Miss Ambrose be present when I spoke privately to Elmer and his mother?” I winced at the idea. “I am saying that I have the right to be here if my student’s parent or guardian requests it.” Janet spoke up. “I request it.” “Will you be doing this for all of your students if their parents request it?” Brollish asked, her face a grim mask. Now that we were in there, the entire office was smelling strongly of potpourri; dead flowers meant to cover up the smell of rotting flesh held together by a wicked soul. Maybe that was just my imagination. Like the last time, I decided to sit back and trust my mentor. “If they ask me, yes,” Beouf said. “Assuming you feel the need to interview eight other Littles about what a member of staff did.” A lump moved from one cheek to another with Brollish sliding her tongue all around her teeth behind closed lips. “Are you sure you’re allowed to be here, Mrs. Beouf? I’m not sure this is necessary.” Janet adjusted me on her lap. “I would like to also officially request union representation,” Janet said. “And for Mrs. Beouf to remain as a witness to go over the notes with Miss Bankhead and ensure that digital and hard copies are sent out to the necessary parties.” Brollish’s face had barely shifted. Through half closed eyes she said, “Do you really think union representation is necessary for this, Mrs. Grange? This is a conference and investigation concerning Clark’s behavior this afternoon. You’re not here as a teacher.” “Can you guarantee in writing that nothing said here will directly affect evaluations as a teacher?” Beouf butted in. “If he’s suspended or expelled, are you going to hold it against her taking time off to see to his needs? Or can you assure us that such penalties are off the table?” I focused on the little hairs of Brollish’s upper lips, checking across the room to see if they were still moving; hoping that maybe the old bat had died sitting down with her eyes open. “You’re very welcome to join us, Mrs. Beouf.” Beouf sat down next to us. Too bad the additional context as to why she was allowed to sit was the exact opposite of comforting. “Much appreciated,” my old friend said. “Thank you.” A thin smile that came nowhere close to her eyes creaked up Brollish’s skull. “You’re very welcome.” Her eyes moved over to Janet’s lap. “Clark?” I waited for her to say something. Several seconds ticked by. She didn’t. “Yes, ma’am?” “Why did you punch Mrs. Ambrose in the nose?” “We don’t know that he did,” Beouf interrupted before I could react. The slightest eyebrow raise from across the table. “Don’t we?” “Not as far as I’m aware,” Beouf fired back with equal calmness. “Are you accusing him of something?” “Mrs. Ambrose is on record saying Clark ran at her screaming, and punched her right in the face as she was bending over to get at eye level with another student,” Brollish explained. Funny thing is that it was true. “Her nose is broken. That’s good enough for me.” “How do we know that he did it on purpose?” Beouf asked. “He could have accidentally hit her when she started spanking him.” “Why would she spank him then?” “That doesn’t matter,” Beouf said. “That’s not something that is allowed, not without written parental permission.” “I did not and do not give permission.” Janet added. Like a chess player viewing the board, Brollish put her elbows on the table and steepled her fingers in concentration. “It’s true,” the crone admitted, “that corporal punishment is frowned upon. Certain bits of wiggle room are permissible in the name of self-defense.” “Self-defense?!” Janet sneered. “You’re kidding. Self? Defense? From a Little? A Maturosis Little? A baby?” “Maturosis or not,” Brollish replied, “I can’t allow a student on this campus who is a danger to others. An unprovoked attack on a faculty member is by definition dangerous. An entire afternoon of instruction has been lost because my preschool teacher has a broken nose.” “If you take her word for it,” Janet snipped, barely keeping her cool. “Why would I take the word of a child over an adult?” Brollish came back icily. “Not only a child, but someone I had to fire due to breach of contract?” My everything was getting ready to burst with how angry I was. I must have passed that energy into Janet because she said, “You haven’t even heard his word, yet!” “Janet…!” Beouf warned too late. “Yes,” Brollish pretended to agree. “Let’s hear what Clark has to say for himself. Clark? Please. Tell us in your own words. What happened?” I so wanted to shout every obscenity over at Brollish. She had me over a barrel and she knew it. Elmer had said what happened. So had Ivy. Both had the mindsets of literal children. Brollish just wanted to catch me in a lie or get me to confess. I needed to scream. I needed to thrash. I needed to think. I needed time. A fullness in my gut, newly irritated by the addition of heavy cream and vanilla, no doubt, made me need to do something else. I inhaled. Fuck it. Might as well. I leaned forward, stared off into the middle distance directly in front of Brollish, pretended I was giving her the middle finger, and filled my pants up sitting in Janet’s lap. It was easy since I’d had so much practice. After the initial three second push, my body sped right past the point of no return and a veritable mudslide gushed out of me and into the seat of my Monkeez. “Is he…?” Brollish looked genuinely disturbed. “Pooping?” Beouf said, casually. “Probably. That’s what the diaper’s there for, right?” Janet scooped me up by the armpits, taking more pressure off my rear. That made things go along even faster, the front of my diaper swelled and sagged beneath me with added pee as my bowels finished clearing themselves. The snaps between my legs were doing more than their fair share to hold the increasing mass up. Was it my diet? Fiber? Fruits and veggies? Was I slightly lactose intolerant? Had I just done it so much by this point that I’d become good at it? Hard to tell. But there was a certain happiness that came over me, watching Brollish’s nose wrinkle and her being forced to sit there awkwardly, trapped in her own office, looking at me taking a dump right in front of her. If it had been a potted plant, it would have been better, but this would have to do. Janet lowered me back down to her lap, and I felt the warm muck and mess spread around beneath my redistributed weight. I allowed a goofy, happy smile,and gave out an audible sigh of relief. Watching Brollish’s lip curl ever so slightly, witnessing that breach of composure made the lack of dignity gratifying. Comparing their faces a new realization occurred to me: Beouf seemed relaxed, oddly amused. Not only was she used to seeing Littles poop their pants on a daily basis as to be immune to disgust; but she very likely knew me well enough to sense the joy I was taking at Brollish’s discomfort. Janet was already settling me back into her lap and cuddling me in her grip, but she was being much more still and steady with her legs. Me pooping myself was gross, but I was her Little, her baby, so that made it more than bearable. Bankhead’s eyebrows twitched slightly, but she went right back to typing as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. She’d been in so many I.E.P. meetings over the years, that the idea of a Little having an accident right there at the meeting was only foreign in that most Littles didn’t get to attend their I.E.P. meetings. Brollish was quietly repulsed. Children, which I was supposed to be, were dirty things that were tolerated and humored in small doses. Moreover, the gears were turning in her brain, looking for the next angle of attack. In short, three of the Amazons strongly believed that I was actually a baby for all intents and purposes. Brollish? She either didn’t believe it or it just didn’t factor into her calculations. Interesting. Bonus points, my spite shit had bought me some time. Just not enough. “If you’re finished,” Brollish said. “Why don’t you tell me why you hit the teacher.” “Can I change him, first?” Janet asked. “I don’t want him getting a rash.” She moved to get up but Brollish motioned her back down. “No no. That can wait. That’s what the diaper’s for, right?” She burrowed her gaze down into me “Talk to us Clark. Please.” “He was…” “No thank you Mrs. Beouf,” she cut Melony off. “Your testimony has already been taken. No need to coach.” Melony gripped the arms of her chair and stared at me with as much fervor, her jaw working and grinding like she was trying to send me a message via telepathy. I blinked “No need to coach.” She was coaching me, wasn’t she? Two blinks. “You’re free to go back to your room to teach, Ms. Grange. I don’t mind watching him.” And they were keeping me away from the others, and under watch so that they couldn’t tell me something. Three. “You needed at least one adult minding my class.” That would mean Ambrose’s class too, wouldn’t it? “See you around, Boss. I’ll stop by your class and tell her you said ‘Hello’ before I go.” So it stood to reason that Tracy was watching our kids alone, too. School had to keep functioning as a school before the buses pulled out. Four blinks. “It seems our children are picking up bad habits from one another.” “I’m sorry, Clark. You taught me to never ask for a hug without permission.” “Looks like you finally got that hug you were both looking for.” It was a good thing I’d just shit my pants because then someone could shout ‘You-Reek-Uh!’ “I saw my friend Elmer,” I said. “And I really really missed him because when I was a big boy I used to be his teacher.” I tug my bandaged left hand up over my bottom lip and started playing with. With my right hand I started fiddling with the pacifier. “And?” “I got Ivy to get me out of the harness so I could run over to Elmer and give him a hug.” The first few syllables were garbled until Janet gently pulled my fingers out of my own mouth. “And?” I looked out of the corner of my eye. Beouf was leaning further back in the chair with each passing second. Tension and nervousness was exiting her body, practically evaporating. “I tried to give him a hug,” I continued, “but then somebody grabbed me and I got scared and I turned around and my hand hurt and then,” I started to sniffle. I made my throat close up and crushed my face into itself so I could let out one pathetic falsetto, “owie!” “Shhhhh,” Janet said, rubbing my back again. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Then with more volume, Janet said. “So my Little boy went to give a friend a hug, hopped out of line, ran away, and interrupted Ambrose giving some kind of instruction to a child. Does that sound correct?” Brollish removed her glasses and exhaled through her nose. “According to the majority of reports I have received? Yes. It seems that way.” I’d done it! We’d done it! Brollish didn’t want to give us time to coordinate and create a cover story, but she still needed to keep the school running! Beouf, Zoge, and Tracy all had time to talk with each other and communicate, get their story straight and pass along hints to me! Tracy must have even gotten Elmer and his mother in on the act when parents were called. That doesn’t seem like self-defense to me,” Mrs. Beouf said. “Even if it was, it has no merit regarding expulsion.” Defeated, Brollish asked. “Why do you say that?” “Let’s say for the sake of argument that everything Ambrose said is true.” Beouf said. “A student of mine slipped his harness, ran up, and attacked an adult unprovoked. Clark has a Developmental Plateau somewhere between eighteen and thirty months. Higher in some areas, lower in others. One and a half to two and a half years old, tops. Functionally a toddler in almost everything but raw intellect; fairly common in Maturosis when diagnosed and treated correctly.” She chuckled under her breath. “I’ve got a model I can show you using blocks if you’d like.” Brollish replaced her glasses. “Get on with it,” she sighed. “If a not even three year old sucker punched an adult and then was publicly beaten, do you think it would be a good idea to expel a student for that?” “I do not.” “Expulsion should only be considered in extreme circumstances,” Beouf quoted as if from a written document (which she very likely was). “Such as when a student is a danger to other students.” “Yes,” Brollish agreed, a bit too readily. “You’ve got a point.” She leaned over in her desk, opened up a cabinet, and from her witch’s cauldron, she took out a manilla folder. “Which is why I’d like to discuss this.” She opened it up. Stapled to the inside was a clear plastic sandwich bag containing an absolutely vile looking bottle of what used to hold cinnamon. Worse than the bag, in the folders were pictures of a Little boy in a sailor suit coughing up clouds of brown dust, a single one showing the first round of vomit coming out of his mouth. “The photographer saved a few of these for me,” Brollish said. “Care to explain, Clark?” The feeling of victory I’d experienced planted itself right between my shoulder blades; a nagging itch that I just couldn’t reach. I’d been so close, too. “No…” I said. “I don’t.” “He probably doesn’t even remember that,” Beouf tried. “It doesn’t matter if he remembers it or not,” Brollish answered. Her tone a quiet mockery of Beouf’s early confidence. “I have evidence to suggest that he poisoned himself and several other students. That’s dangerous. Very dangerous. He even hid the evidence in the diaper pail somehow. That signifies intent, don’t you think.” She’d held onto this as a back up plan in case her original gambit failed. “I thought it’d be funny,” I said. Honestly? In hindsight? It kind of was. Playing the idiot had gotten me this far. Beouf scowled, “Clark…” I wasn’t helping myself. “Speaking as his parent and a teacher,” Janet said, “I think you’re reaching, ma’am.” As if all that she needed were the pictures, she slid them across the desk so that Janet could get an even better look. “Oh?” “If Clark were a thirty two year old adult,” Janet stated, “I would agree with you. That’s a fireable offense, for sure.” Behind her glasses Brollish was grimacing. She suddenly saw where this was going. “Clark is legally a baby, now,” my Mommy continued. “He doesn’t even have the identification number he was born with. He’s legally a different person. Fresh start. It’s not fair to hold him to one set of standards and then another when as it suits us.” “He nearly killed himself choking and several others could have been hurt too. They also vomited everywhere.” “He’s a baby,” Beouf jumped in. “All of my students are. That’s why they’re my students. Babies stick things in their mouths all the time. High sensory seeking behaviors. They talk other babies into doing silly things, too. Low impulse control and a desire for recognition.” The clacking of Bankhead’s computer, then, “Does that mean,” Brollish asked, “that you failed in your duties to prevent that behavior? You allowed the contraband to be snuck in?” “Yes ma’am,” Beouf nodded. “And if you would like to put that in my yearly evaluation or have that otherwise affect my performance review this year, you have every right to do so and I accept it.” The Principal seemed so shocked that Beouf would accept a penalty of some sort so quickly that Janet was able to get in, “If it’s about vomiting on purpose, ma’am, then you need to have words with some fourth and fifth graders who chugged pop rocks, pixie sticks, and soda at the Fall Festival.” A low grunt rumbled out of Brollish as the dusty old processor that was her brain ran the numbers. “You make a very good point, ladies,” she said. “That is why, effective tomorrow through the end of Thursday, Clark Grange will be suspended.” No one said a thing. It could have been so much worse. Still… “Suspended?” I asked. “Why?” “I am a firm believer in restorative justice,” Brollish said. “You did a very bad thing, and need to face consequences for that action. Because of your status, I can’t have you mopping floors, so I’m giving you time out to reflect on what you’ve done by giving you the maximum amount of suspension for that type of infraction.” “Vomiting?” Beouf asked, incredulous. “Vandalism,” Brollish said simply. Okay. Yeah. That was admittedly fair. “Ms. Grange, I trust you have either enough emergency sub plans and time off to watch him or the means to ensure for his care?” Janet stood up with me. “Yes, ma’am.” “Very good. Mrs. Beouf, you may take your student back to the classroom for the remainder of the day.” I was quickly passed over to Beouf. I’d already forgotten what was going on beneath my waist because of all the adrenaline pumping in me. “Yes, ma’am.’ “Thank you for your time, ladies.” We walked stiffly and silently out of the office, out into the reception area, and then circling around into the courtyard. Janet gave me a final kiss on the cheek. “We’ll talk more at home,” she promised. Beouf didn’t say anything till we were almost in the classroom. “Big boy?” she said. “Really?” “What?” I blushed. “I was trying to sell it.” “Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you, bud? Anybody who knows you knows that you don’t talk like that!” She tweaked my nose and winked. “Good thing Brollish doesn’t really know you, huh?” “It worked, didn’t it?” “I’m Cwawk,” Melony lisped all the way into an obnoxious falsetto. “An’ I’m justa widdle baby. Notta big boy! Ooowooo!” I gasped in half-mocking exasperation. “Are you making fun of me for actually talking like my Developmental Plateau Melony Beouf?” “No, Clark Gibson Grange,” Melony smirked. “I’m making fun of you for doing a bad impression of what you think I want your Developmental Plateau to sound like. You taught preschool for how long and that’s the best you can do?” “Shut up,” I laughed, and stuck out my tongue at her. She stopped at the door and stuck hers out right back at me. “Gibson Grange?” I said. “What’s up with that?” “Slip of the tongue,” Beouf shrugged, bobbing me in my messy Monkeez with it. “I don’t normally know people’s pre-Adopted names. I messed up and self-corrected in the same thought and hoped you wouldn’t notice.” She grabbed the door handle. “Come on, stinker, let’s get you changed.” “Deal.” It had been a day of terrible and wonderful miracles. As it turned out there was still one left. “Hey, Boss!” Beouf’s room was in total chaos. The normally well organized classroom was littered with stuffies and toys from every activity center and bit of closet space. Rather than attempt any form of discipline or instruction, Zoge had just given up pretense and initiated a kind of indoor recess. Zoge hadn’t been the only certified adult in the room, however. Standing amidst the chaos, my favorite Tweener surveyed the real life three and four year olds playing amongst the eighteen to thirty five year olds forced to act younger. What’s more, they were playing with each other. No shouts of ‘baby’ or shoves or pushes from the bigger children. No fear or manipulation from the smaller adults. “Okay kid,” Chaz said. “Put that block there.” “But that’ll make it all fall.” “Exactly!” Chaz snapped his finger. “It’s not good fun until something is falling down!” “Hold still,” Annie said to a former student of mine. “I haven’t done this in a while.” “Are these gonna make me look pretty?” the massive three year old asked, while Annie fiddled with hair clips. “You’re gonna be the prettiest dolly in all the land. Promise!” If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that the Littles were kind of…babysitting? Not with any kind of actual authority, but the children were following their lead. Lots of questions of “what next?” and declarations of “follow me!” Over in the reading nook, Mandy and Shauna were giving an impromptu phonics lesson. Jessie and Sandra Lynn were working with finger paints and giving an art seminar. “Tracy?” I gawked. “What in the world is happening?” “Mrs. Zoge and I decided to combine classes for the afternoon. This place has better toys.” “But…but…but…” I spread my arms over the entire scene. If I hadn’t known any better I’d say Ambrose had never indoctrinated them. “We had a talk after lunch.” “About what?” “Treating people the way you want to be treated,” Tracy said. “Gold Rule. Oh, and about how Littles with Maturosis were very experienced babies, and you could still learn a lot.from experience. That and I promised them extra cupcakes if they were nice.” Her nose started to wrinkle at my smell. “Come on,” Beouf said. She started high stepping over blocks and playsets.. “Let’s get you cleaned up, oh experienced one.” Peering over Beouf’s shoulder, I saw Tracy bend over and whisper something into Tommy’s ear. Whatever she was telling my least favorite asshole, he was digging it. I stared at my reflection in the ceiling mirror, smiling up at myself. As far as Little victories went, this was easily the Littlest. I’d won with the help of my friends because I’d done something so incredibly stupid as to be nearly suicidal and they all covered for me. My only punishment was three days off. “Just like old times,” I whispered. I was so tired and over the moon with relief that it didn’t even bother me seeing Beouf’s hands unbutton my romper again and expose my ruined diaper. Beouf grabbed a fresh diaper and started unfolding it. “What was that?” she asked, her hands already going for the tapes. From the classroom, shouting so loud that it could be heard over everything else came Tommy’s thundering voice. “ALL HAIL CLARK GIBSON! THE GIANT KILLAAAAAAAAAAAH!” My change was delayed by a good two minutes with both of us cackling and gasping for breath in the bathroom, Beouf becoming so weak that she fell to her knees and had to steady herself and climb back up to her feet using the changing table’s shelves.

I just have to say how much I appreciate your writing! It's not often that I'm literally laughing out loud while reading!

Chapter Nineteen After a bit of backseat driving Jen managed to find Tony’s Tavern and I was excited. Not because I was going to get ice cream, but because I could finally be me at Tony’s and get treated like my age, also most of everyone knows me here. The only thing was that I needed to go pee again and we were just pulling into the parking lot. Jen pulling me along while I tried to do my business back at the museum kind of made me not able to finish. I did not want to have what happened at the museum happen here, so maybe if I can get myself to just finish going while I am in the privacy of the SUV, I will be ok. Jen and Isabella were still arguing over my choice of restaurant but that left me in relatively chaotic peace. As Jen turned into the parking lot, I mustered up the courage, closed my eyes, and did my best to go potty once more. I knew Jen parked and even shut the engine off, but I was still trying to concentrate on forcing myself to pee, so I did not have to do it later. I turned my face to see Jen opening my door, “Look at my baby, you’re such a good little boy,” Jen said happily. “Do I really have a potty face?” I asked, slightly embarrassed that she knew what I was doing. “Yes, you do,” Jen said still smiling at me, “but it’s only because you are trying too hard, I am sure it will fade as you get used to peeing your pull-ups.” Jen did not move to unbuckle me; she only reached in and grabbed the diaper bag that was sitting next to my car seat. “You done, baby?” Jen asked, patiently waiting for me to finish. I just sighed and shook my head, yes, giving her the cue to finally get me unbuckled and out of the car seat. Before Jen shut the door, I handed her my bunny so she could put her in the SUV. Unlike Isabella Jen did not make a fuss, she just took Lady Frankie from me. “Jennifer, I still do not like this place, the atmosphere is not good for Charlie,” I heard Isabella say as Jen closed my door and took my hand before walking to the door of the restaurant. “If you don’t like it you can stay in the vehicle, Charlie is an adult and this place is just fine,” Jen said with a harsh voice. I was a bit worried now they were still arguing outside of the SUV. “You did not say anything when I said he was a child and paid for the tickets at the museum,” Isabella quipped. “I was about to before Charlie blatantly called me Mommy in front of the ticket counter and distracted me,” Jen said, arguing back at her mother. Wait, how is this my fault? I stopped where I was, which was in the middle of the parking lot, and put a scowl on my face. I know I told myself I was done protesting the behavior I was getting today but was not going to accept I was to blame. I will not take this anymore, this had to stop here and now. Jen instantly felt my arm tug on hers when I was not walking, causing her to look back at me and see the anger painted on my face. “Oh honey, I did not mean to. . .” Jen said, realizing what she said only a moment ago. I wanted to rip my hand from hers but that would not be wise. “You two need to quit arguing over me, it is ridiculous. First, it was an accident calling you Mommy in the museum, our new rules are causing some odd habits to form,” I said to Jen before trying to split my focus to both titans that stood in front of me. “Second, I am an adult, that is it, there is nothing to argue about. Jen, you promised me a day that I could be treated as an adult, and outside of my pull-ups and stupid car seat I do not see a reason to not allow that.” I said a little heated. I did not mean to get mad but when I was getting blamed for this mess, I was not going to take it, not here, this place knew me all too well. “As far as you Isabella, you scare me, from what Jen has said you have threatened my career, and I don’t appreciate it. It is Jen and I’s signature on our contract, not yours. I am her little, I listen to her, not you. Jen also promised me that this would not come between me and my career,” I said firmly as the emotions from last week started to come back to me. When I get mad, I generally can keep a level head and use my words to my benefit. Jen took after her mother Isabella, and when they got mad, all they saw was red. When I stood there and held my ground, Isabella just dropped her jaw and stared at me, dumbfounded. Unfortunately, that did not last, and I could see the anger oozing out of her ears. At this moment I was starting to regret my small little outburst, hopefully, Jen was not mad at what I said and would take my side. As soon as I saw Isabella's finger point at me, I felt Jen pull me behind her. “Do not get mad at Charlie,” I heard Jen say, as I tried to peek around her, “He is not wrong.” I watched as Isabella’s finger moved from me to Jen and then firmly said, “Fine, but you and I are going to have words later.” I watched Isabella turn around and continue to the restaurant. Jen turned around and squatted down to look at me in the eyes. “I am proud of you for standing up for yourself,” Jen told me as she straightened the wrinkles out of my shirt, “But you need to let me deal with my mother.” “Thanks, but why did you say it was my fault?” I said in response, still slightly irritated from the argument. “I did not mean for it to come out that way, I was trying to make a point and it just came out wrong,” Jen said, “I am sorry. I did want you to have fun today.” “I am having fun, I just hate you fighting over me, it’s not fun,” I said as I watched Jen put her hand on my pull-up. “You did need to go didn’t you,” Jen said looking back at me, “You’re going to need a new pull-up when we get inside.” And just like that, I went from irritated to worried. “But I was trying to prevent from being dragged into the bathroom,” I said with a slight whine in my voice. “And is Isabella going to yell at me?” “I am sorry, baby, but your pull-up is saturated. They are not like your diapers; they cannot hold that much.” Jen said as she stood back up and led us to the front door of the restaurant. “And Mother will not yell at you, at least not in public, but I am sure you got her mad. She will cool off though, she has her reputation to worry about.” As Jen and I walked through the door to Tony’s Tavern the hostess just smiled at us and asked, “You are with the lady that just walked in before you correct,” as she pointed to Isabella sitting in a booth across the room. “You would be correct,” Jen said before asking her own question. “Do you mind if we use the bathroom really quick before we sit down?” “Oh, of course, it’s just over there ma’am,” the hostess said, pointing towards the bathroom doors. “Thanks,” Jen said as she pulled me along towards the bathroom. Jen kept a firm grasp on my hand as she tugged me to walk in front of her. I wanted to resist but I also did not want to make a scene. “Jen please,” I said quietly. My plead was only met with Jen moving her hands to my shoulders so she could make sure I did not escape. “Charlie, quit fighting, you are only drawing attention to yourself,” Jen responded in a matched quiet tone. I quickly looked around to see that luckily no one was looking in our direction. I did my best not to fight Jen, but I still did not feel comfortable. I watched Jen reach over me, open the door to the ladies’ room, and push me inside, luckily, I heard Jen lock the door behind us. I took a quick look around before I turned to look at Jen and whispered “I am a boy, I am not supposed to be in here.” Jen just smiled at me before she set my diaper bag on the changing station in the room and then turned her attention to me and pulled my pants down, revealing my soaked pull-up. “What if someone says something,” I asked. “Then I will tell them I was helping you change your diaper,” Jen said as she motioned for me to step out of my shorts. “But I am not wearing a diaper, I am only wearing a pull-up,” I said as I stood there letting Jen rip my used pull-up off and start cleaning me. “Yes honey, you are in pull-ups, but to others, they are just pull-on diapers,” Jen said nonviolently as she balled up the wipes in the pull-up and tossed them in the trash. I try and cover myself with my hand but quickly get my hands lightly smacked. “Charlie, please, quit playing with yourself.” “Pull-ups suck,” I started to say before reaching over to use Jen to help me keep my balance and step into my new pull-up. “I thought they would be better than diapers, but they are worse. You have not stopped fussing over my pull-ups all day, nothing but ‘Charlie let potty, Charlie you need a new pull-up, Charlie lets potty again, oh new pull-up,” I wined. “Charlie,” Jen started to say as she held onto my shorts, making me stand there in just my polo shirt and pull-up. “You are the one who suggested wearing them and I was trying to listen. I found a way to listen and help you out, but if you are insisting you just skip to diapers, I am ok with that too,” Jen said with an oddly serious face, looking me in the eyes. It did not take long before I diverted my eyes giving her the win to the staring contest. “Shorts please,” I whine, only making me feel smaller than I wanted to. Jen only smiled and held them open for me to step into allowing her to pull them up and button them for me. Jen guided me to the sink so we both could wash our hands and then she grabbed my diaper bag and ushered me out. With a glance I spotted no one standing in line to use the bathroom, giving me a sigh of relief, allowing us to go to our table with no issues. When we got to the table, I got put on the inside of the booth with Jen next to me as we both sat across from a highly agitated Isabella. “What took so long,” Isabella said in a suspiciously light tone. I hated this animosity in the air between us, it made me feel uncomfortable. As I scooted in the booth I remembered why Alice and I always sat at a normal chair and table, the booth was a little too tall for me and made me want to sit on my knees to help me reach the table more comfortably. “Charlie needed to go to the bathroom,” Jen said in defense as she set my diaper bag between me and the wall. Having Isabella and Jen to be spatting back and forth so soon only made me roll my eyes and slouch in the booth. “Oh, and you needed to go in there with him?” I watched Isabella say pretending to be shocked. I thought Jen said she was not going to do this in public. “Mother please,” Jen said in a serious tone. “Do not do this, not here. I thought you wanted Charlie to have a good time and trust you more.” “Hello, my name is Mike, I will be your server today,” I heard Mike say with a positive attitude before I sat up to look at him as he handed us the menus, “Oh, Charlie, nice to see yeah again. No Alice this time?” I was so pleased that it was Mike as our server, he was a cool person to hang around with. “Not today, Alice kicked me out of the office and told me to take a vacation, this is my wife Jennifer and my Mother-in-law Isabella,” I said, trying to be polite and introduce my company. Mike's eye lit up as soon as I said ‘Jennifer’, making me just smile and shake my head. “About darn time you bring her in,” Mike said to me before turning to Jen. “Your pictures do not do you justice; you are simply gorgeous.” “Excuse me, sir, she is married,” Isabella said, making a snarky comment. As soon as I heard that I saw Mike turn to Isabella in a surprised manner. “Oh sweetie, I am too, his name is Jake. I was just trying to give Mrs. Jennifer here a compliment,” Mike said in a matter-of-fact tone before putting his hands on his hips and turning to me, “What yeah having to drink today, Charlie, sounds like you could use a beer.” “I would love one but Jen asked me to not drink, so how about an iced tea,” I said with a smile, admiring the no ‘F’s’ given attitude Mike had. Mike was one of the first servers that I made friends with when I first started to go here, there was nothing he could do or say that would offend me, and he also often used the same terms of endearment with me as Jen does. It never bothered me. I just knew he cared for me and was my friend, and so was his husband. “Honey, tea has caffeine in it, and it is passed lunch,” Mike said sarcastically. I honestly did not know if I wanted to laugh or blush, Jen was nearly about to say the same thing before Mike spoke before her. I watched Jen look surprised and turn to Mike as he looked at her and explained, “Don’t worry, Alice has yelled at Charlie numerous times about that and about getting food.” “Thanks, Mike,” I said, pretending to be offended. “You're most welcome, honey, how about I get you a Sprite instead?” Mike said with a smile. “Well, I am glad Charlie is in good hands when I am not with him,” Jen said happily, “I will take a water please.” “Sure thing,” Mike said before turning to Isabella, “What about you sweetie,” “I will take a martini,” Isabella said sharply. “Well let me get these for you as you two look at the menu,” Mike said before turning to me, “Charlie, you want the usual?” “Please,” I said. Jen did a glance at me before turning to Mike in confusion. “Catfish nuggets and hushpuppies,” Mike said quickly to Jen, reading the question she had on her face, “The little guy only ordered one other thing before going back to the same old thing.” “You know what that sounds good, just make it two please,” Jen said with a smile. “Ok then,” Mike said before turning to Isabella, “would you like to order food now too or do you want a minute?” “Just a martini for now,” Isabella said holding up her menu. It only took Mike a few steps to leave us and Isabella turned to us both with an agitated face and commented, “Like I said, the atmosphere is not good here,” and then went back to her menu. “Well, I like the guy,” Jen said trying to not laugh at her mother, before turning to look at me. “At least I don’t have to worry about Charlie breaking rules here.” I could only roll my eyes when Jen said that last part. “By the way, what desert were you wanting? The way you said it back in the SUV made it sound amazing?” I eagerly picked up the menu and flipped it open and pointed to a photo. “It’s a small scoop of vanilla ice cream with half of an apple seasoned and wrapped in a pie crust that is baked to perfection with caramel drizzled over it all,” I said looking up at Jen, trying to describe how tasty this dessert was, “I can still get it right?” As soon as I said that I glanced at Isabella, only to have her comment before I could turn back to Jen. “Don’t look at me, look at your Mommy,” Isabella said sharply, making sure I knew she was still upset at my spat in the parking lot. Her comment made me look back at Jen quickly. I felt confident when I said all that but now that I had to sit and deal with what I said I started to feel bad about even bringing it all up. “I promised you ice cream, so yes. But would you mind sharing a bit of the apple pie, it sounds delicious.” Jen said with a smile, as she scooted me closer to her so she could wrap her arm around me. “I would love to share it,” I said as I leaned into Jen to soak up her warmth. It did not take long before Mike came back with all our drinks, bringing his energy along with him. “Water, Sprite, and one martini,” Mike said as he set our drinks down before turning to Isabella, “Sweetie, did you find anything you wanted to eat?” “Just a house salad,” Isabella said sharply. “And what kind of dressing would. . .” Mike started to say before getting cut off. “Ranch will be fine,” Isabella said quickly, handing Mike her menu. “Oh, and Mike can you put an order in for one of your apple pie deserts,” Jen said sweetly as she pointed to the dessert, I showed her. “Sure thing, honey,” Mike said with a smile, taking Jen and I’s menu. “Your food should not take long, and I will put your dessert after you get your food, so you have time to eat before it comes out.” When Mike left the table there was an awkward silence between the three of us. Jen kept her arm around me, which made me feel safe but at the same time small. The confidence level I had outside was quickly draining and I could not describe the feeling I had. I looked over to Isabella, but she was just looking around sipping her drink. When I looked up to Jen she just smiled before she noticed something I couldn’t. “What’s wrong, honey,” she said as I watched her smile fade. I just shook my head and away, not wanting to talk about the feeling I had. “Here, take a drink,” she said handing me my drink. I only took a sip before putting it back on the table. “So, Charlie, did you have fun at the museum,” Isabella said flatly, making me look back over to her. I didn’t know why she was trying to have small talk with me, but her delivery was very awkward. “I did, thank you,” I told her, trying to just be polite. “Just so you are aware, the conversation Jennifer and I had last weekend was not meant for your little ears to hear,” Isabella said in her flat tone. I nodded in response, not sure how to take it. “Mother please,” Jen said quietly, causing Isabella to look at her and hold her hand up. “No, I just want to make sure Charlie understood,” Isabella said before turning back to me. “I know you are an adult, but it’s hard for me to see it. To me, you’re my daughter’s little boy, and that makes me see you as my grandbaby. I am a little overprotective, I was the same way when Jennifer was little, but I expect you to behave like a good little boy,” she said to me, softening her tone a little bit. Her little speech did not help me at all, if it was not for Jen’s arm around me, I would just curl up and hide. I did not lie before; she did scare me. I did, however, reach for my drink and took a long sip to give me an excuse to not talk. “Can we please change subjects,” Jen said, noticing my lack of voice. Luckily Isabella did just that and started to talk about her and Nichola’s work, which I did not want any part of. I liked talking business but just not with Isabella, leaving it a two-way conversation. With both distracted I started to look around for Jen’s phone, hoping I could use that to entertain myself. I could tell it was not in Jen’s pockets and it was not on the table, maybe she had it in the diaper bag. I slowly pulled my diaper bag close to me, glancing at Jen to make sure she stayed engaged in Isabella’s conversation so I could rummage through it unnoticed. I was fully engrossed in looking in my diaper bag, trying to find Jen’s phone. The only thing I could see though was only one pull-up left with two spare diapers, baby wipes, rash cream, my pacifier, a set of clean clothes, and Jen’s wallet. Out of no wear, I heard Mike's voice, making me jump and zip the bag up as quickly as I could. I could tell Jen noticed my jump because she giggled at me, Mike however, I was hoping to be busy putting our food down to notice anything. “What yeah digging for, babe,” Jen said as I turned to the table and looked at her and Mike. “Probably something he shouldn’t be having according to his red face,” Mike said with a smile. “Jennifer, if you need anything let me know. Charlie normally needs two things of tartar sauce with his fish, but I can get you catchup, hot sauce, or anything else if you need.” Jen Just turned and looked at Mike, “I should be good, thanks,” “Well, I hope you enjoy your food, I have already put your dessert order in so it will be out shortly,” Mike said as he left us to our food. I grabbed a catfish nugget, dipped it in the tartar sauce, and shoved it in my mouth as I watched Isabella drown her salad in her ranch dressing. “Mmm, this is really good,” I heard Jen say, causing me to look up at her, watching her cover her mouth between bites of her catfish. “Know you know why I order it all the time,” I said with food in my mouth, causing me to get a stern look from Jen. I swallowed my food quickly, causing me to reach for my drink to help it go down. “I did not think I would have to tell you but please slow down, you are going to choke,” Jen said in a motherly tone looking down at me. Jen must have noticed how close my food and drink were to the edge of the table and scooted it back a little. Her comment only made me feel sheepish, but her pushing my plate and drink only made me whine slightly. As I started to pull my feet in to sit on Jen noticed and said, “Charlie, are you ok?” “These booths are just at an awkward height,” I admitted as I got myself adjusted. I looked over to Jen and I could tell she wanted to put me on her lap, but I was grateful she didn’t. I glanced over at Isabella, but she was just silently judging, which was fine if she kept it to herself. I went back to eating my food but saw Mike wander back over to the table. “How is the food?” Mike said looking at Jennifer and Isabella. “Good thanks, the catfish is amazing,” Jen said smiling back at Mike. Isabella just ignored Mike altogether and took another sip of her martini. I was going to say soothing and even held my finger up but Mike spoke before I could swallow my food. “Don’t worry, I know you like it. Would you like a booster seat shorty?” Mike said smiling at me, causing me to scowl at him and switch from holding up the index finger to the middle finger at him. “Charlie,” Jen said noting my rude gesture, causing me to instantly regret my act and retract my arm. “Don’t worry, Honey, he knows I am giving him a hard time.” Mike started to say with a smile. “But the last time Alice and him sat in a booth she made him take it and he was unhappy the whole time,” Mike said with a giggle. “I may be short, but I am not a child,” I quickly say with an empty mouth, trying to defend myself. “Charlie, there is nothing wrong with a booster seat,” Jen said holding back her laugh. “Alice said nearly the same thing,” Mike said, “Your desert is almost done, let me go get it for you. It did not take long to finish my food, there was only a handful of nuggets and two hushpuppies, but Jen kept her eye on me the whole time, just smiling at my frustration. I watched Mike slowly walk back with another plate in his hand. “Here yeah go,” Mike said with a smile, “You want me to take your two’s plate?” “Shure,” Jen said as she stacked my plate on hers moving them out of the way as Mike sat the desert down. Isabella handed Mike her plate as well, though a bit more rudely. “Thanks, Mike,” I said as I started to reach for the spoon sitting on the plate. Right before I reached it, I felt Jen pick me up and scoot me onto her lap. “Hey,” I said a little more loudly than I wanted to, causing Mike to giggle at me. “You said you didn’t want a booster seat,” Mike said with a smile. “And here is the check, please take your time, and thank you for coming in,” I watched Jen’s arm reach around me, pick the spoon up, and present it to me. I could not see Jen’s face, but I knew she was smiling and eating this up, I knew she could not resist putting me on her lap as soon as she saw me struggle. “Mommy, please,” I whined quietly to where only Jen could hear me. Isabella may not have heard what I said but she looked in my direction with a curious look on her face. “Baby are you getting fussy,” Jen whispered in my ear from behind me, making me realize what she was asking. I just very gently took the spoon from her and proceeded to get a fill it up with Ice cream. Jen and I took turns eating the dessert, but halfway she hogged control of the spoon and insisted she be the one to give me bites. Every time I resisted or whined, she would only shush me and encourage me by saying ‘bite’ like I needed encouragement to eat. We were down to the last bite before I heard a click which made me turn and see Mike there snapping a picture of me sitting on Jen’s lap being fed ice cream. “You two are too cute,” Mike said happily. I tried to say something, but Jen just piled the last bit of apple pie in my mouth. “Shh, eat your food,” I heard Jen say above me in a playful tone. “You know Mike, if I knew you and Charlie were friends, I would have invited you over for dinner or drinks a long time ago,” Jen said to Mike, leaving me to eat my dessert. As soon as I was done and about to say something Jen put the last bit of ice cream in my mouth, only to slightly miss and have some of it on my face. I sat there getting mad, letting my hands drop to my side, making me notice that Jen was hiding her phone under her thy on the opposite side I was sitting on. “Well Charlie has my number,” Mike said in response to Jennifer as she just smiled and wiped my face with a napkin. Jen and Mike made pleasantries, I slowly reached to grab Jen’s phone. As soon as I had it pulled out Jen just took it from me. “No-no, Charlie,” Jen said to me as she put it in the diaper bag that was out of my reach. She also took that moment to pull her wallet out and give it to Mike, “Here, yeah go. And I will be giving you and your husband a buzz.” Jen said. “Any time,” Mike said with a smile, “Let me take care of the bill for you real quick, I will be right back.” As Mike walked off, I just folded my arms and found, causing Isabella to smile and giggle at me. “You better turn the frown upside down,” Jen said poking me in the rib, making me jerk and squeal. “Ok, please just stop,” I said grabbing Jen’s hand in defense. Mike was back soon after and Jen took her card back and put it back in her wallet. I also took that time to shimmy my way off Jen’s lap. “Thanks, Mike, the food was good.” “You’re welcome, I will see you next time buddy,” Mike said with a smile and a pat on the head. “You make sure to keep him in line,” Mike said to Jen as she got out of the booth herself with the diaper bag in her hands. “Isabella, it was a pleasure,” Mike said lastly before walking back to check on another table. Jen followed me out of the restaurant, letting me walk without any hand-holding or guiding hand. It was a kind gesture but halfway to the SUV I started to look around to make sure she was still there. I saw her walking beside me only one step behind and as soon as I made eye contact with her, she just smiled and gently put her hand on my back to let me know she was there. I walked over to the door to the back seat and reached to open it as soon as I heard the door unlocked from Jen pressing the button on the key fob. I was going to get in my car seat myself but as soon as I grabbed my bunny, I felt Jen lift me and put me in my seat herself. “Mommy,” I whined, wanting to do it myself. “You’re getting awfully fussy,” Jen said as she started to buckle me in, noticing Isabella getting in herself. I watched her move my arms under the harness, trying to keep my face neutral. “You want your binky for the drive home?” Jen asked me, as she put the diaper bag beside me. “No thank you,” I said, trying to convince her I did not need it, holding Lady Frankie close. Jen just smiled at me and shut my door once I was all buckled in. Jen made her way to the driver’s seat and quickly buckled in herself. Jen opted to listen to the radio instead of talking on the drive home, which was ok for me, I was not in the mood to listen to them argue anymore. After a few miles the warmth of the sun, a full belly, and the soft rhythmic motions of the road made my eyes start to get heavy. I was not wanting to fall asleep, but I was having a hard time trying to fight it. Eventually, I just gave in and thought to myself, I will just close my eyes and not sleep. Was listening to the radio and paying attention to the sounds of the road so I figured that I was still awake but before I knew it, I jolted my eyes open and jumped as I heard my door open. I was confused, why was Jen standing there reaching to undo my harness? With a quick look out the other windows, I noticed that we were home, and Isabell was not with us, or so it seemed. “You have a good nap?” Jen asked, drawing my attention back to her. “I was not sleeping,” I said with a lisp, realizing I had my pacifier in my mouth. I went to reach for it, but Jen pulled me out of the car seat and caused my arm to slip through the harness before I could pull it out. “Baby, you were out like a light,” Jen said setting me on my two feet. I just handed my pacifier to her, not wanting anything to do with it. “You hold on to it baby, you look like you may need it still,” Jen told me, not taking my pacifier from me. “But I don’t want it,” I whined, making me realize I was only fueling her cause. I closed my hand, keeping my pacifier in one hand and my bunny held by my other arm. I took a step back as Jen reached in, grabbed my diaper bag and my model airplane, and then led me to the front door. “Baby, I know you say you’re not tired, but you hardly slept last night and only took one small nap that ended in you falling on the floor, and another small nap in the car,” Jen said, holding the front door open for me. “Think whatever you want but I do not want you falling asleep before bedtime.” “I’m not tired, Mommy, I promise,” I said slipping my shoes off lazily and walking to the couch to sit down. Jen was not far behind me, but she did not sit on the couch next to me, she just gave me a small kiss on the four head and felt the front of my pull-up before moving to the stairs and going up. Once Jen was up the stairs, I tossed my pacifier onto the coffee table and then looked down at myself, feeling my dry pull-up. As I sat there on the couch, holding my bunny, I was not tired, but I was frustrated. I was supposed to be treated as an adult today, not like some reverse potty-training toddler. With that thought, I got up and started to make my way to the home office, Jen may have taken my computer away, but I still have hers to use. About halfway to the office, I spotted my potty chart that is on the fridge, realizing that I get to put stickers on my chart today, I went potty in public today. I quickly shook my head, trying to get the little thoughts out of my head, I wanted to be an adult. I walked into the office and made my way to the desk, looking back at the door with a small feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Why was I getting this feeling, I was not doing anything wrong, I just wanted to check my email and stuff. I crawled into the desk chair, put my bunny on my lap, and moved the mouse around to wake up the computer. It did not take long for me to log on and open my email. Alice must have been doing just fine without me, there were just a few emails in my inbox, just the normal stuff: flight reports, expenses, and a few emails from a couple of pilots. As I was reading one of my emails, I noticed Jen walk into the office, I instantly started closing my browser, so she did not know I was going through my email. Just as Jen rounded the desk, I had the computer showing only the desktop and I quickly put my hands in my lap. I know it was not very smooth and I look as suspicious as I feel. Why did I feel this way, I should not be feeling like a naughty little boy doing things behind Mommy’s back, I was just checking my email like a normal adult. I looked at Jen and saw a smile on her face as she clipped something to my shirt. “There, now you won’t lose it,” Jen said as I looked down to see my pacifier dangling from its leash that was now secured onto my shirt. I looked up to protest but when I did Jen was staring down into my eyes, making me more nervous. “Are you done with the computer, sweetie?” Jen asked softly, making me nod my head yes as I diverted my eyes. “I am sorry Mommy,” I told her trying to get rid of the guilt I was feeling. Jen did not answer me right away, she just picked me up and sat down on the computer chair I was just sitting on, placing me on her lap so I was facing her. Jen looked at me and kissed me on the forehead. “Why are you saying sorry,” Jen asked as she straightened the ears of my bunny. “I was on the computer,” I started to say, admitting to what I thought was wrong, “I was checking my email.” I don’t know why I felt like I did wrong, but I did. I just hugged my bunny and leaned into Jen, trying to comfort myself. “Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jen said as she wrapped one of her arms around me. “Why would I be mad at you for checking your email?” “You took my phone and computer away so I would focus on my vacation,” I told her, trying to convince her that I was right about being bad. “I did take those things away and it did help you focus on your vacation,” Jen said as I heard her starting to mess with the computer. “But at no time I did not say you could not check your email, I just wanted to make you work for it. Make you slow down and think,” I heard her explain. “But, I thought,” I started to say, trying to recall last Friday. The more I thought about it I realized she was right. “Mommy, I just wanted to be an adult,” I started to tell her, “I want to do adult things.” At that moment I felt the need to potty again, all the soda at the restaurant was catching up to me. “I am an adult,” I said, letting my emotions get the better of me again. Just then I heard soft music playing from the computer’s speakers. “Oh, honey, you are an adult,” Jen said wrapping her other arm around me, “But you are also little.” Yeah, little, I am sitting on my wife’s lap with a stuffed bunny wrapped in my arms being soothed by her, feeling guilty for doing an adult thing without permission. And on top of it all I needed to potty, and I was expected to just use my pull-up like a baby. “I don’t want to be little,” I said softly. “Why are you so resistant to being little,” Jen asked as she caressed my cheek. “You fight being little so much. Today I saw you just be yourself and you looked so happy, both at the museum and the restaurant.” Jen just held me for a little bit, rocking my back and forth in the chair, letting the words just sink in. “Sweetie, you are just tired.” “I am not,” I told her, enjoying her arms around me. I always loved cuddles from Jen, they always made me feel better. As I sat there comfortably, I just went ahead and just wet my pull-up. There was no reason to hold it, I was not going to be using a potty, and I did not want to get up. I know Jen had to feel my pull-up get warm, but she did not say a word, she just held me. “What if you made another little friend, someone to play with,” Jen said making me lean back and look at her. “Please, no,” I started to say, trying to imagine what Jen had up her sleeve, “I don’t need to have a playdate with another little.” “Just think about it,” Jen said as she leaned forward and turned off the music that was playing. “But how about we go put some stickers on your potty chart,” Jen said happily, doing her best to divert the conversation and not saying yes or no to the playdate I did not want. Jen just patted my butt, giving me the signal to get down.

Oh, yes. The first time (stateside, only removing part of the external sphincter) my catheter blocked up twice. The first time needed an ER visit to fix. The second time, the doctor just told me to remove the catheter early since it was so close to when it was supposed to come out anyway. The next time (in Mexico, like @Reddy), it threatened it a few times but never got there. I did start retaining urine, but was able to eventually get the clots to pass with time. Still scary when it happens - especially when you swear it must mean you still can hold it just fine. You know, until you can't. The most recent time (local doctor, literally right now, to fix the stricture that developed), the catheter started blocking before I could even be discharged from the hospital. They fixed it, but it'd keep blocking up for the next two days. At this point, I'm rather skilled in flushing and clearing catheters, so I've been keeping things operational. Still not fun, though. I haven't had to wear caths for additional length any of the times, but there's a reason I keep a stock of indwelling and Foley caths on hand - makes it much easier in case it's needed. I've only really needed it a handful of times for getting the stricture to play nicely. Since starting treatment locally for it, I haven't needed to intervene on my own. After finishing this last surgery, I will have to cath weekly just to make sure the stricture stays stretched out - the side effect of making sure those bladder muscles get used to being stretched is just a nice bonus.

BrownBobby... I think you mentioned blood clots somewhere around here. Did you have blood clots too? Did you also have to wear a catheter for an additional period of time?

I want everyone who is considering a similar procedure to understand the risks involved, which is why I have been so vocal about sharing the known complications (stricture disease, sexual side effects, acute retention from temporary blockages, etc) that I have learned through other patients generously sharing their experiences. Residual blood clots are one of the things I expected the most. I certainly don't make a recommendation of surgery. But I do suggest always to keep an open mind and a willingness to learn, and a full look at risks. Genuine concern and hypothetical risk discussion is welcome and important. Unhelpful posts from those who don't meaningfully contribute to the discussion, and which offer only snark, nastiness, and manufactured schadenfreude are not welcome, and will continue to be reported.

Hey DD! Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the week! Today would be my 2nd year, 5th month, and 5th day of 24/7 diaper dependency! Close to halfway to my third year of the rest of my life padded! Since my last update I've had one experience that was very new, and the rest feels pretty same samey. Sometime last month I started changing in the bathroom after drying first the shower. I'm definitely become a very dribbly faucet and it's a lot easier then having to wipe up the floor along the hallway after getting cleaned up. A few weeks ago I treated myself to getting a balayage, and the 6ish hours for coloring were only possible thanks to Northshore. By the time I finally was able to leave and getting to my car I realized just how soaked my diaper was. Thankfully the plastic pants helped, but the diaper was to it's tipping point. I barely even drank anything while there 😕 But I'm just glad nothing messy related happened. ~ Messy Warning ~ Sometime between the last update and this one, I had a single uncontrolled messy experience that left me a little stunned. More just that I didn't actually know what was happening until it was out of me. Got out of my chair and felt a plop. 😐 While cleaning up, I tried to think about what warning or feelings I had, and aside from being focused on work I for the life of me couldn't think of a single warning I usually at least feel something. This time, on the other hand it just was over before I felt anything at all. Messing is definitely becoming easier every day, sometimes I find myself needing to mess while I'm still nomming on lunch. I'd say the biggest changes are just how instinctual ? they feel? I'm find myself just helping things along and back to whatever it is I'm doing. I have very little though put into it now adays compared to when I first started so long ago. Having to change in public with friends is getting to be a nuisance, and while I still have not told them, It's getting harder to change / bring supplies in some situations. Honestly while I've done my best to keep it private, I do see the benefit in maybe telling my closest friends soon, though obviously not "hey i'm abdl xyz".. I just don't really know how to tell them without lying / having them become incredibly concerned. And I kinda enjoy keeping it a secret without being branded forever. 😶 Life is still moving forward Still happily taking one day at a time, still getting out there and enjoying life. If you have any questions let me know, I hope everyone is well!

Curious to hear how Reddy's first night of diaper dependency went?!?!? Soaked diapers? Wet bed?

Hey I have been keeping up with it, following the thread, IT"S SOO cool your there.

So imagine making your little work on getting all their merit badges. And if they happen to have kept their old uniform you can make them wear it, though it won't fit well. And of course for the two or so hours a day they have to work on that they should wear a diaper so they can focus. The final merit badge they get will be for child care or babysitting, but it will be sewn on in reverse.... I liked the idea of this picture, but I don't think the uniform looks right. Still, kind of fun .

I forgot about this, lol. The sent stayed in for about 3 days. The retrieval line was too irritating to keep it in any longer. I'll have to come back to this and submit pictures, but really it's not much different than cathdiap's design. Nothing new would be shown.

Merry is a certified 'Big Girl', and she has proof.

Hey everyone! I did some counting yesterday (I know, scary), but I believe that I’m going to need to pick up my pace on this story a little bit rather than just posting every other day. I’ve already taken one break and I don’t want to pause the story yet again before I leave for a certain event at the end of this month. It should be doable, but also just want to post it here to give me even more motivation to hurry myself up a teensy bit. Also, be sure to pay attention to the timeline in this story. While The CONvention only took place over a few days, this story takes place over the course of 11 months. You might have gotten the time jumps by now when I’ve written them, but I just want everyone to be on the same page as we go forward. Most chapters from here on out will experience some sort of time jump of at least a week or two, so just make sure to take note of that. For example, this next chapter is taking place in early June and our Littles got to this dimension in March. Next, just to clarify, I have not yet confirmed that Luna is diapered. I have implied it, but like death on TV, unless you see (or in this case, read about it directly), it didn’t happen. If she was though, remember that she went through an interrogation herself. Jameson isn’t the only nasty investigator. Further, I will keep a few secrets to myself, but think of protocol 5 as part punishment and part growing experience. Many Bigs may have humiliated a Little or treated them very poorly. In truth, I kind of thought of it as part of their evaluation to see if they have changed, but it’s also to help them grow as new citizens who care for people more than just themselves. For Chelsea, she kind of needs that lesson. Lastly, going forward with this story (and even others as well), for right now, I have been using some of the standards in the United States to translate over into Libertalia just to make it easier in my head. Now admittedly, there are a few differences and I know even regions here have a few different policies, but I just want to put that out there in case anyone was confused with a few of my references. For example, around here, the pool opens on Memorial Day at the end of May, and it does in this story as well. If there is a difference however between the two countries, I will be sure to mention it (like location names). Regardless, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 8: Connecting With the Past Most Unexpectedly Weeks passed by and the summer weather began to take hold in our lives. The pool had opened nearby, and Samantha and I had already gone at least three times in the past two weeks. The June weather around here reduced everyone to their summer outfits and another semester had started at the academy. Chelsea still drooled on herself, and Harriet still studied diligently in her classes, but everything was about to change. Apparently, the Summer semester was less crowded than the Fall or Spring ones. As such, I was only lecturing or assisting Samantha in her classes for three of the five school days of the week. It was something, but Samantha worried that I was bored. So, in the interest of keeping me happy and occupied, it was deemed that tomorrow would be my first day at the academy daycare. “No, I don’t agree that my happiness would be better served at a daycare,” I tried to defend myself to my new family. Everyone was open and listening to me, but I felt like my message was falling on deaf ears as well. “I’m sure you’ll love it, Percy!” Luna said as they tried to console me. “The staff is always friendly from what I remember when I volunteered there one summer, and besides, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of new friends there.” “Ones that aren’t regressed?” I asked skeptically. Luna immediately shrank back and right then; they didn’t have to say anything for me to know that Littles like me were few and far between. If I was to make a friend, something told me that we would have to have a playdate to meet up outside of daycare hours. “It’s not that bad, Percy,” Samantha tried to justify to me for what felt like the thousandth time. “I’m sure you’ll find some fun there at least.” “She’s right, you know,” Oppy interjected before I could say anything back. She was making a special pudding for after dinner to celebrate one month of Chelsea being back after her sentencing. Knowing her abilities by now though, something told me that the pudding would all just end up in her hair and even past the corners of her bib. “Also, keep in mind that you’ll be able to see Ditzy and Derek as well. The long-term nursery attendees attend the daycare during the day. That should be nice, right?” It was that thought and hope that remained afloat in my head for the rest of the night. Even when Chelsea smashed into the pudding and basically exploded the pistachio green goo all over her, I was still thinking about seeing Ditzy and Derek again. We had seen each other a few times, but those moments were only in passing. Ditzy had giggled and waved at me one day, but most of the time she was distracted by something else nearby, likely something with glitter on or around it. Derek, on the other hand, I had seen more, and he even tried to speak with me, but for him, he always seemed to do well but then trail off hallway through our talks, which was just long enough for me to need to leave before he snapped back. So, when I woke up the next morning, I had just enough eagerness to push beyond my nervousness and revulsion for my fate today. Completing our usual morning routine, Samantha and I ate breakfast together and I glumly used my highchair. I didn’t like the symbolism of using it, but my short stature forced a few necessities on my life now like that… similar to the car seat I was soon buckled into afterward. My one consolation was that the seat was at least forward facing, unlike at least half of the Littles own car seats I had seen since visiting the area around us with Samantha a little more. I was hoping to make friends or see some sign that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t… “I know this isn’t probably your idea of the most exciting day ever, Percy,” Samantha began as she drove down the road and toward the academy, “but can you at least give this a try? For me?” I sighed audibly and I felt just a little over my tipping point. “You know… at first, I thought this was for me ‘not to be bored’ on the off days, but why do I get the feeling that you just want me out of your hair?” I knew and could tell my words stung Samantha from her face looking back at me in the rear-view mirror, and as much as I didn’t want to be ‘that Little,’ I also didn’t want to be the Little that was more of an accessory and brought out when it was convenient for everyone. “You know… you’re right,” Samantha then admitted, much to my surprise. “I’ve gotten some calls after some of the lectures on my own at the academy. The other students… well, some feel they are a little distracted by you in the classroom. Of course, you are a joy and a privilege to have there when you are helping me with the lectures and your knowledge about Earth, but…” “But I’m a Little… and Littles shouldn’t normally be teaching, so it’s weird when I’m there and I’m not doing anything like that…” I finished for her. From seeing her face in the rear-view mirror, I could tell that wasn’t what she was going to say, but I could see the truth in my statement in her eyes. The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet after that, and I knew how it looked, but I didn’t care as I sat back in my car seat and sulked, right up until we pulled up to the daycare parking lot. The academy was big and while Samantha could walk me to here from where she normally parked, the daycare would have been a bit of a walk by the end, especially if the June heat started to rise later in the day like it was predicted to. Samantha sighed, but still pressed forward and quickly got me out of my car seat and slung my diaper bag over her shoulder. After taking my hand, I stared back at my diaper bag. Oppy had given it to Samantha as a gift at the party the night of the trial verdict. Oppy and the others had used a different diaper bag to carry all my stuff with them before, but it was a loaner and was starting to show its age. This one was predictably blue, but it at least had a few dark blue accents and seemed to be a little more fashionable than my old one. For now, at least, this one also didn’t have any cartoon appliques sewn onto its sides. Entering the daycare, Samantha quickly checked me in and chatted warmly with the attendant at the front desk. The building had melded quite nicely with the rest of the academy on the outside from what I could see, but the inside of pastels, cartoon figures on the walls, and toys strew about in the lobby told me all I needed to know about where I was going to be spending my day. Finally, Samantha crouched down to meet my gaze. “I promise that you’re going to like it here…” I didn’t meet her pleading stare. “Please try… for me?” I looked away about as much as I could. I was pissed with her, and I didn’t want her to mistake that by any stretch of her imagination. She had brought me to this stupid world and now I was feeling like I was being dumped for the convenience of others in a place seemingly hell-bent and determined to make sure I knew my place as a worthless Little. Fortunately, the daycare workers were highly observant and in a place like this, I suspected that the interaction between Samantha and I right then was not terribly uncommon. Soon, a kindly brunette woman with glasses and comfortable clothing soon approached from the other side of the traditional daycare barrier. “It’s okay, Miss Norris. I can just take him inside from here.” Samantha seemed heartbroken and while she had redeemed herself a long way since I had come here, I was still very upset with her about coming to this place today. She needed to know that, so I made sure to keep my emotions in check and turned without further incident to join the daycare worker. I was going into the pit of my doom sooner, but admittedly selfishly, I wanted Samantha to hurt right then. I could make up with her later tonight, but for now, she needed to feel the sting of my absence. I wanted her to know that sometimes, there would be consequences for treating me like a Little. I could see her resolve start to crumble a little, but the kindly daycare attendant just led me to the back without further comment and she was out of my sight. I felt a little bad, but I didn’t have long to ponder it all. Soon, I was neck deep in one of the most chaotic scenes I think I had ever witnessed. Littles were running about everywhere or crawling or sitting, but each seemed to have a dedicated toy that they would then chew on, try to stick up their nose, or bash about all around them. Immediately, I wanted to break free and escape, but fate had other plans for me. The daycare worker who had led me in to all this whirlwind then came from behind me after closing the door to the front lobby, sealing me inside, and then crouched down. “Sorry about all the chaos today. One of our main teachers here called out sick. She normally tackles a good chunk of them and keeps them calm.” “There’s a calm to these Littles?” I asked, knowing full-well that I was in fact talking to a Big who could have very well just lumped me in the same category as all the rest of the Littles around us now. I may have been quiet, but she could have easily justified that I was only temporarily like this. I needed to show her otherwise… that I was different. To my surprise though, she smiled at my little joke. “Fair enough, but you might be a little shocked then how different this place is when Mrs. Katherine is here normally.” She then looked around and seemed to spot what she was looking for. “I’m Miss Tina, but I have an idea… if you’re willing to indulge me for a moment?” I looked around behind her and saw a Little immediately squat and puff out their cheeks. No one needed to be an experienced caregiver to know what was happening, so right then, I felt like I had few options. “Okay. I can give whatever you’ve got a shot.” She smiled even wider as soon as my compliance left my mouth. “Excellent!” She then reached out her arm, and I knew she was meaning to take my hand, especially with the way her face soon conveyed her small mistake with me, but she was also quick on her toes I soon realized. Her handholding gesture soon just turned into one of guidance. “After you, Percy. It’s not that far.” I wasn’t sure what to expect but pushing through all the clutter and disorganization of the Littles tornado in the main part of the large room, we came to a corner of the room. At first, I only saw a window of escape to the outside world and the main academy lecture halls beyond, but I knew I needed to indulge Miss Tina for at least a little bit. When I turned a little more, I finally saw what Miss Tina had brought me to, an entire shelf of books. The bottom shelf was clearly dedicated to the younger minded, but almost every other book above those ones seemed to placate towards someone like me. It was… amazing. I quickly spun back around to a practically glowing Miss Tina. “This is perfect! How’d you know? The academy have a file on me or something?” I asked happily but suspiciously. Knowing their protocols, trials, and punishments by now like I did, I wouldn’t have put anything past them. Miss Tina laughed. “No, nothing like that. Samantha… she wrote down a whole bunch of things about and for you for us. Most of us Bigs don’t do that for Littles… you’re pretty lucky in that way at least.” Her words stung my heart the instant they escaped her lips. I had been so cold to Samantha only moments ago because I thought she didn’t care about me in dumping me here for the day. I still felt like that, but I couldn’t deny that growing patch of guilt inside of me. She had a plan for me, and I should have trusted her to look after me like she had been since the trial ended. Fortunately, the daycare seemed to calm down a little as the morning progressed, but the book nook also had a little cutout room at the bottom of a tree-like structure and my mind quickly switched to the material in front of me. Now, there was also a gingerbread or dollhouse-like structure nearby I could have elected to read in, but after a few Little girls took it over and had a tea party inside, I was glad of my own private tree. It was quiet and comfy, and spending the next two hours inside was actually pretty nice. I was still a Little in a daycare though. So, while Miss Tina attended to a few other Littles, another worker came up to me. “Hey there, cutie. Percy, right?” I could only nod as I took in the heavy-set woman before me. “I’m Miss Melissa, but I’ve been watching you today. You can’t just sit here all day. You need to get out a little more. Shall we?” The offered hand she placed in front of the book, her intense eyes, and the way she phrased a few things before made me quickly feel that she was not giving me an offer here. She was telling me I needed to interact… or else. So, with some heavy reluctance, I set my book down and took her hand. Right then, I was fully prepared to have to deal with regressed Littles for the rest of the day and try to resist any funny business this place tried to pull on me. According to Oppy, sometimes they wanted to trick us Littles into accepting ‘our proper places.’ Shuddering at the thought, I just kept walking, but Miss Melissa soon stopped in front of three other Littles. “Hello, Miss Melissa,” the skinny redhead woman asked, her grey eyes then looking me up and down. “Who’s the new kid? You bring us another regressed?” Miss Melissa then tapped me forward on my padded butt and chuckled. “Actually… no, Amy. This one is all still good in the head… and he’s from your all’s neck of the woods.” Amy’s eyes bulged out immediately and her grey eyes immediately shot down to mine. “Well, darlin’… come over and stay for a while.” I almost wanted to protest being thrust with these strangers, but Amy seemed to not care and pulled me down to sit by her. After a moment of her almost making a little mind-numbing small talk, Miss Melissa then left. Amy’s face quickly changed, and she stuck her tongue out at her before looking back at me. “Sorry, honey. She can be a real pill sometimes.” She then stuck out her hand to mine, and slowly but surely, I eventually shook it. “Good to meet you, fella. First though… don’t call me Amy. These Bigs think that because my full name is Amelia, my shortened name is Amy. It isn’t.” She bore a fierce determination, and to be honest, she almost looked familiar for a moment. Still though, if I was going to be with someone who finally seemed more or less on my level, I wanted to make nice with her before bombarding her with all my questions. “If it isn’t Amy, do you have a nickname then?” “Oh!” She then threw her hands up in the air as if she had just crossed the finish line in a race. “It’s so good to finally hear a valid question from a newbie here. Most call me AE, but my friends call me Millie or Meeley. We’re friends, but if you’re so bold, I’ll even respond to Lady Lindburgh.” The blood in my veins froze. I absolutely adored history. It was always fascinating to me, and I knew names and faces pretty well, so that always helped when I was in school identifying all the famous people. Now, I was face to face with a living legend… somehow. “Lady Lindburgh… holy…” I heard that nickname dozens of times before, particular back home at the Air and Space Museum in D.C. in front of the plane she flew. “You’re… you’re…” I just couldn’t make out the words. Meeley giggled. “Oh boy… another fan. Nice to know a few people still know about me though. I know I was the first woman and all, but what’s it been? 50 years since I crossed the Atlantic?” I managed to find some spit and my words again. “More like over 80 actually…” Her face dropped a bit, but then she smiled and flexed the overalls she was wearing. “Heh… I guess you lose track of time a bit here, but I look pretty good for my age then, huh?” She did. It was one of my numerous questions in all this. With her disappearance in 1937 and even ignoring 50 ovf the past 80 years… she shouldn’t look like… this. Still though… right then, one of her friends shifted about on the floor with his crayons. Meeley quickly looked down at him with a sort of sympathy and despair in her eyes. “Poor Jimmy…” She then stroked a few of his oddly graying locks of hair. “Used to be all pep and argumentative with anyone here. Great conversationalist and his stories… whew!” She then looked deep into my eyes once again with a seriousness that made me squirm a bit. “Bit of advice, newbie. Jimmy here beat up a kid last year for stealing from him. The other kid got the spanking of his life, but Jimmy… well, you don’t want to end up like Jimmy, okay?” I quickly nodded and wondered about who he was from back on Earth. Of the three Littles in front of me, apparently each was from Earth, and one was already pretty famous. I wondered if the other two were as well. ‘Uh, Jimmy… are there any famous Jimmy’s…?’ I looked back at the kind Little in front of me. ‘Maybe a Jimmy who disappeared like Melley apparently did...?’ “Oh! Goodness gracious!” The Little that had been snoozing beside Meeley then woke up and gave a long stretch. “Wow! How long have I been asleep, Meeley?” “Just a few hours now…” She then helped him off the back wall he had been leaning up against and pointed toward me. “DB… we’ve got a newbie here.” He wasn’t even looking at me yet and seemed to be more occupied with rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Oh boy… another regressor from back home? What are they? The eighth this year alone? These Bigs trying to build a drooling army or something?” Meeley shook her head and then forcefully turned DB’s over to me. I waved at the now clearly shocked Little. “Hey… I’m Percy…” “Holy…” The man they got up from the wall and kind of strangely crawled over to me. It was an odd position to see someone so cognizant in right then, but once he stopped, I let him do his tiny investigations of me… even when he poked my outstretched foot. “You’re real… and from back home too?” I nodded. “Yep. Virginia. Just got here a few months ago.” “Oh my… this is huge!” He then wobbled a bit as he stretched himself up on his knees. “You make three for our crew! Yes! We can finally escape!” My heart leapt for joy. Samantha, Oppy, Harriet, Luna, and even Chelsea were all growing on me every day it seemed like, but still… this new Little could have been my ticket home. It all almost even felt like a dream to me by now. A place where I could wake up and not worry about being regressed suddenly or the fact that I ate too much bran last night could shorten my wait times from feeling something to popping a squat… potty or not. It was almost dreamy. Meeley, however, soon crushed my hopes in a single second. “Oh no you don’t, DB!” she chastised her friend before yanking him back by the waistband of his shorts. With them so forcefully pressed against his front, I knew I wouldn’t be alone at least in wearing diapers in the group at a minimum. Meeley then smacked him on the chest lightly. “You’re not going to scare off or recruit the newest member to our group who can actually manage to not drool on themselves!” DB blushed a bit and rubbed his chest. “Fine! Fine! Probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.” He then looked back at me. “I’ve checked this place up and down, and unless you’re a dirty diaper or a broken toy, you just don’t leave this place unless a Big is right there beside you.” I squirmed for a second to check the status of my own diaper and to my relief, I was only mildly damp. I had managed to go before Samantha and I had left this morning, and then again just right before Miss Melissa had pulled me along to here. Jimmy seemed diapered, but I really wondered about Meeley now. The next hour or so was filled with questions about back on Earth. So, just like my lectures here, I was able to use my knowledge and fill all my new friends in. To be honest, I don’t think either of them had gotten a real news bulletin since the 70’s if my eyes were really seeing who I was seeing, so things like computers or smart phones were a bit trick to explain, but both seemed utterly fascinated by the end. For his part, Jimmy just kept to his crayons. After a while, I finally wanted to ask a question of my own. “You said that I was the most recent coherent addition to your group from back on Earth. Have there been others? Uh, recently?” I didn’t want to just ask right out the gate, but I was trying to find out what had happened to Ditzy or Derek in here. I had just met them after all, and I really didn’t want to be pushy. “Hmmm… weren’t there two not too long ago, Meeley?” DB asked as I could tell that she was pondering it herself. “Dicey? Misty… something like that?” “Ditzy?” I asked, still trying to keep my hope subdued that I would see my old friends in here. “That’s it! That’s her!” Meeley confirmed. “Absolutely she’s in here! Friend of yours, Percy?” I eagerly nodded now. “Yep! She should have been with another… Derek? Have you seen either of them in here recently?” Meeley nodded and DB pointed behind me. “Yeah. They’re here today.” I almost bolted right then to go and find them, but just as my butt cleared the ground, I sat back down in a huff. “What’s wrong, Percy?” Meeley asked with some concern. “You okay?” “I…” I soon became a mix of emotions. “I’m not sure…” DB and Meeley leaned in closer, clearly willing to listen. “Well, you see, yesterday… Oppy… kind of like my grandmother here… she got a note from the judges.” I stopped and wondered if I should even tell them. I felt like saying it out loud made it too real. “Go on…” Meeley encouraged. “We’re listening. Just take your time.” I sighed and then took a large breath. “The letter told us that Chelsea had chosen Ditzy to stay with her after she recovers. She got sentenced to protocol 2 and had two Littles. We suspected she had to give one of them up because of the law or something like that,” I tried to explain. “We found out she chose, and my closer friend of the two is the one getting the boot…” DB then patted my shoulder. “That’s rough, buddy, but think of it this way. This place is unusual and dangerous to anyone under eight feet tall. He was talking the other day… that might not be the case tomorrow… You might not have another opportunity to talk to your friend…” His words stung me fully. Then, as if to confirm my own deepest fears about this place, Meeley nodded. “He’s right… for once. We’ve lasted a long time here, but we seem to be the exception.” It was true. I had only been here a few months myself and I was already wearing a diaper pretty regularly, had a massive urge to give Stripe a hug right now, and most of my meals were served to me from the convenience of a highchair… which I thought to myself with an outwardly straight face. So, at this point, lasting 80 years here felt next to impossible. I had to know more, but they were right, and right then, I knew I had to attend to my other friends. With a little more encouragement from DB and Meeley, and even a little smile from Jimmy still on the floor, I made my way over to Ditzy and Derek. Both were playing on the ground in various positions but were still very near to each other. As I approached, I felt that Derek was even watching over Ditzy in a way. “Hey…” I said to my old friends. Both stopped what they were doing immediately and turned around to see who at just clearly called out to them. In an instant, as soon as Ditzy saw me, she quickly dropped the thick plasticky book she had been reading. It only took a cursory glance to realize that it was only mostly pictures. A series of cooing baby babbles later, I was covered in a little drool and dozens of kisses and was currently being tightly hugged by her. “I miss you too, Ditzy…” Derek on the other hand, only slowly waddled over to me. Without a second’s hesitation though, Ditzy then broke her hug off and then pulled me down to the floor to show me a doodle she had done the other day. I guessed it was a dog. I was wrong… “Issa mouse,” Derek said slowly. I was almost shocked at how well I could understand him now. “Iss from a show she wikes…” I could see his face cringe for a moment. “Oh… I see,” I said lying a bit after I reexamined the drawing. I then looked back up at my friend. “How are you? You seem like you’re doing… better.” The man was still clearly a Little and the drool-soaked pacifier clipped to his striped shortalls did little to dissuade me of that particular notion. “Iss juss wife… life,” he finally said with a bit of concentration. “Can’t complain though…” “Oh?” I had seen the long-term nursery they had been staying at and it was admittedly a nice place. I didn’t see a single unregressed individual in there, but by now, I just assumed that every place had some downside when us Littles were involved. “Yeah…” his focus then almost seemingly drifted away into bliss for a moment before snapping back. “Uh, yeah… pwaytime outside is juss da bess. Diapers an’ cwothes awe comfy an’ no compwaints abou’ the TV. You gotta favowit catoon?” In fact, I did. I couldn’t remember the name of the show for the life of me, but it was surprisingly sophisticated and even violent for a cartoon. It was basically just a crime scene investigator plotline, but even Samantha had gotten into it a few times. Most seemed designed to make Littles out to be babies, but I always found it at least humorous that we were almost never the killer. For his sake though, I just told him about one that Chelsea had actually been watching. The next 30 minutes seemed to both fly by and creep along. Though Derek’s and I’s conversation went nicely, and I was definitely glad to see my friend, I also had to continually wonder just how much was left of the old Derek. We would go on for maybe five minutes about something, but then he would add in a comment or two that made me question just how much he was back. I couldn’t care about his mispronounced words or even the fact that I’m pretty sure he wet his diaper at least four times while talking to me, but his likes and dislikes… I felt as if I was almost talking to my younger cousin from back home who had just entered preschool. Finally, I couldn’t take it, and I took my chance when lunchtime was announced. So, after a series of goodbyes and promises to visit again soon, I left the two to be fed in highchairs in the back room. I rejoined Meeley, DB, and Jimmy with some relief. While Jimmy was clearly now in the younger category of Littles and taken first, Meeley and DB at least were around my level to some degree. Today, we stayed together, and I couldn’t have been happier when we even got to eat at these little plastic tables by ourselves. “Better eat up, kid,” Melley advised me after she noticed that I was largely picking around the cut-up hot dog bites and the odd purple fruit next to it. “You’re going to need it.” I poked at the fruit and a sweet-smelling juice came out of the almost watermelon-like pulp. In the distance, I could see Jimmy getting taken out of his highchair and to the room clear marked “Nap Room.” “I’d listen to her if I were you,” DB spoke up after he put his spoon down after examining it closely. I had seen enough prison movies to know that man was figuring out some sort of escape plan with those. “She’s been here the longest and is still sane… well, for her that is…” Meeley quickly smacked her friend in the arm. “When are you going to learn, DB, that women are just as good as men? You know, I thought you would have learned something the second time around.” The room then got really silent, and DB almost instantly looked different. If I didn’t know any better, he almost looked like the other Littles around here when they were sad. He was so cocky and confident, but now… a stiff breeze looked like it could knock him over or that he could use a nap or a cuddle right about then. I honestly wasn’t sure, but Meeley looked stunned herself. “Oh my! DB… I’m so sorry!” she tried to rapidly apologize to her friend after her shock wore off. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean it! Honest! You know me and my stupid mouth!” DB seemed a little normal after her apology, but something definitely now felt off about him. Problem was, right then, I just couldn’t place it. “It’s okay, Melley. I’ll be okay…” The rest of the meal was then eaten in silence, but everyone started to perk up when I noticed a few of the attendants walk around and begin taking the finished Littles outside. We were no exception, and as soon as I swallowed my last bite of the sweet but oddly flavored purple fruit, we scrambled outside. Because of my seclusion amongst Littles however, I really wasn’t sure what to do. Of course, I could have always followed most of the Littles out here and played on my own haphazardly in the sandbox or have gotten pushed on the swings, but those felt like they were activities just for the regressed ones to do. DB and Melley, however, soon began to climb to the top of one of the taller towers of the playground back there. “Come on, Percy!” Melley announced as she quickly bounded her way to the top. I was a little out of shape, but I just put one foot and hand in front of the other and continued to climb. From this low angle though, I could quickly tell that both Melley and DB were diapered. It was at that point I think that I kind of just gave up on the whole notion of ever wearing underwear again while in this dimension. Maybe maintain control, but it seemed diapers were just to be my destiny here. Finally, all three of us made it to the top. Melley was the only one not out of breath and was currently perched on a little stoop at the corner of the tower platform. I could see she was smiling wide as she then extended her hands outward like a bird. “Isn’t it wonderful up here, you guys? I could stay up here all day! Reminds me of my old adventures. So freeing…” “It’s great… Melley…” DB said while a little out of breath. I was out of breath myself and just nodded. In that time though, I also looked around at the view that Melley had just been gushing about, and she was right. Though not perched above every building, the at least 20-foot-tall tower was able to clear the back fence and look over the rolling landscape all around us. The academy took up most of the southern and western views, but the small communities and mountains just beyond them to the north and east, were magnificent. I suppose to someone like Melley who hadn’t flown in years, this was the closest she likely ever got now to being back up in the air. We stayed up there forever, but eventually, we could see one of the daycare workers I hadn’t met yet give us a stern look. Melley and DB seemed to know the routine and began to climb down immediately. Just as we were at the platforms that took up most of the playset’s second level, I saw a panicked look quickly take over DB’s face. In seconds, the previously happy and almost adventurous Little was reduced to a hyperventilating snotty mess. “DB? Are you okay?” I asked worriedly of my new friend. He didn’t respond. Melley just looked at him like this was just another Monday, even as tears began forming in his eyes. After a moment, I could see him puff out his cheeks and squat a bit. I immediately knew what he was doing, and Melley did as well. Finally, though, with one last tiny far, it was over. “Go see Miss Tina or Miss Melissa,” Melley said calmly afterward. “They know what to do…” DB only nodded his head and walked over and climbed down with a bit of a waddle to another daycare worker. “What was that?” I asked as soon as I knew he was out of earshot. “He just… one second he was all smiles and the next…!” A messing Little was one thing, but DB almost seemed like someone had secretly pinched him. There was no far off stare… no joy or even revulsion… just a scared or even in pain Little. Melley sighed. “It’s a thing they do here… DB got it bad about two decades ago I guess now.” She then shifted and readjusted to a better seating position on the stairs we had used to get to the top of the tower. “Back then, he was still obsessed with his money. He wanted to escape then as well, but just to snag his money and get out of here. Well, they caught him.” I remembered back to the academy and their protocols with what they did to Chelsea. From his reaction just moments ago and Melley’s serious face, I guess that whatever occurred next wasn’t good. “Then what happened?” Melley messed with her hair for a moment and then looked back up at me. “Well, they caught him for the third time. Just like baseball… and so, with his three strikes, he was out… punished. He came back a few days later, but he was instantly like Jimmy. He came back to us about a year later mentally, and it was such a relief… but he was different.” She shifted uncomfortably on the stairs. “He was his old self… but he had a few holdovers as well. Fear of monsters as well as the police, more agitated with small things, and well, you saw just one of the other things just now.” I couldn’t believe my ears. My eyes had shown me all the power of this place before, but this whole scenario genuinely terrified me. ‘What if that happened to me? I’m a good… uh, just good… but there are always mistakes…’ I shook my head and didn’t want to dwell on all that. “That’s terrible…” “That’s this place, Percy. Sooner or later, they’re going to get you… they’re going to get all of us.” She then looked down and briefly caressed her own pants which quickly elicited a crinkling sound. “I got popped about 50 years ago… just was able to recover when DB got here. It was tough, but as I said… it’s just this place…” DB eventually made it back to us, and while it took a minute, he was soon back to his old cheery self. It was nice to see, but his presence and new backstory made me wonder about everyone else here and even myself. ‘How many Littles sucking their toes right now are only temporarily regressed? Am I next? Is this my forever now?’ The thoughts plagued me, even when we went inside and even by the time that Samantha came in that afternoon to pick me up. By then, I was primed for her rescue of me. I had found new friends, but new terrors as well. So, as soon as the door was opened and fully clear, I ran into and hugged Samantha’s legs as tightly as I could. “Woah! Easy there, sweetie. Easy.” It took a second, which I know worried her a bit from the patting of my back that followed, but eventually, Samantha was able to peel me off her legs. Realizing something was happening with me right then, so she crouched down and brushed my cheek with her hand. It was our signal again, so I just unburdened my guilt right into her. “I’m sorry, Samantha… please don’t be mad at me.” Samantha looked expectant of all this, but she then seemed to look at me like she was figuring out a puzzle of sorts. “I was stupid and immature… I was a Little, and the worst kind this morning. You just wanted what was best for me, and I should have trusted you…” “So… you had a good day, or…?” Samantha questioned me, but her eyes soon narrowed. “Did something happen I need to know about?” I could feel her mother bear fury come out in a split second, likely thinking that someone else had hurt me, so I quickly just shook my head. Daycare was nice… the Littles… I just wasn’t sure how to feel about it all. “Please just forgive me… I’ll trust you from now on, but please just forgive me…” I felt so pathetic and vulnerable right then, but more and more it seemed, Samantha was becoming my rock in everything. Need something explained from this world? Samantha. Need someone to protect me? Samantha. Had a bad day? Samantha. I couldn’t think of one thing that she couldn’t or wouldn’t help me with. Then to my relief, after, Samantha only smiled in her genuine, warm, and reassuring kind of way. It was exactly what I needed. “Oh sweetie… you see, I never had to forgive you in the first place. You were only upset and had some big feelings you couldn’t properly deal with. You’re a Little remember, and your emotions just overwhelmed you.” She then paused and sighed heavily. “I have to admit… what you did hurt me, but once my heart was more open, I just couldn’t get you off my mind all day. In saying that though, I know coming here hurt you as well… maybe even more. So, there’s nothing you need to be sorry about.” To my everlasting joy, she then opened her arms. I immediately collapsed into them in less than a second and felt her soft warm glow on my skin. I could use a change, a snack, and probably a nap after everything, but right then, I had Samantha, and to me, that was becoming better than anything else in this world… except maybe Oppy’s oatmeal raisin cookies fresh from the oven. I’m pretty sure wars were fought over those things, but still, right now I had Samantha. After a moment, Samantha pulled me back and wiped a few of the tears on my cheeks away. “I know there were things today that were probably hard, but I’m proud of you for going through with it still.” Her smile then faded a bit. “There are things, Percy… complicated things that may be coming up. I don’t know if I’m always going to be there for you and with Chelsea… well, I wanted a place where I know you could go and be somewhat happy, but more importantly, safe.” Her words immediately sent off alarm bells in my head, but her comforting smile took me out of my head long enough for her to stand back up and take my hand. She slung my diaper bag back over her shoulder and we exited the building hand-in-hand to her car outside. There was so much to unpack from today, ranging from meeting the freaking Amelia Earheart to seeing just how much had changed in Derek since coming here. I will definitely bring Stripe with me next time, but still, I had made it through my first day of daycare here. To my relief even, it wasn’t horrible, and around here, I knew just how much that really meant as a Little in this dimension. With all that was in the air though, I wondered just what was next.

Goth girl at it again, she's a great artist. Her name is Merry.

Hi all! Sorry for not posting any new chapters lately; the new semester started and I've been kind of swamped with that! I'll be doing my best to post a 2-4 chapters every week from here on out! Chapter Ten Ms. Akiyama’s sunglasses blocked out the brilliant reflection of the sun off the still remaining banks of snow as she walked up the concrete steps of a cute little three-story townhouse. Cute little handmade Halloween decorates hung in the windows, like pumpkins and ghosts cut out of construction paper and black and orange paper ring chains. Ms. Akiyama reached out one finger and jabbed the white plastic doorbell and heard a series of chimes call in response from inside. A gust of wind cut through Ms. Akiyama’s peacoat as she waited; the snow was melting, but it was still unseasonably cold for this time of year. “Well,” a tall woman with strawberry blonde hair, tanned pink skin, and big glasses wearing mom jeans and a slightly wrinkled white blouse exclaimed with a slight southern drawl as she opened the door, “if it isn’t Hana Akiyama. Darling, how are you doing? Please come in,” she pushed open the screen door and stepped aside for her visitor, “I was so pleasantly surprised to hear from you last night.” “Hi, Heather,” Ms. Akiyama gave a tight lipped but polite smile as she stepped past the other woman and into her home. Ms. Akiyama immediately checked the floor around herself and the door, noting no discarded shoes and a pair of off-white New Balances on Heather’s feet, cueing her to leave her own shoes on. She then surveyed the room she had stepped into; a large living room with a dark grey couch flanked by a matching dark wood set of end tables and coffee table facing a sleek black entertainment center with a large flat-screen TV currently playing cartoons. “Thank you so much for inviting me over today, I really appreciate the chance to pick your brain.” “Oh, no worries at all, darling; I’m so happy to help you! Come on,” Heather beckoned Ms. Akiyama further into the house, waving her in with pale pink acrylic nails, “we can talk in my office! May I get you something to drink?” Ms. Akiyama followed the other women deeper into the house, but as she rounded the couch, her eyes were fixated on the large, open space in the living room where a girl Rei’s age sat in a playpen. The playpen itself was made of interlocking, hard plastic squares and could be configured to various shapes and sizes. The walls stood a little more than three feet high: taller than one would need to keep a toddler-sized toddler from mantling the sides, which was good since the toddler sitting in the middle of it was taller than Ms. Akiyama (though, admittedly, she was not a very tall woman). Megan Eckridge didn’t seem to notice Ms. Akiyama at first. Her gaze was fixed on the TV and a line of drool fell from the corner of her mouth around the thumb firmly planted inside. She was wearing a cropped t-shirt and a bright pink diaper with bunnies on it. It was clearly wet. On the floor in front of the girl’s crossed legs was a coloring book and a box of colored pencils. “Hi, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama said tentatively, giving the girl a little wave. The girl turned her head towards her name and immediately withdrew her thumb, wiping it on her shirt and trying to pretend she wasn’t just sucking it. “Um, hi,” she responded, but there was no recognition behind those eyes. “Oh, silly me,” Heather came back to where Ms. Akiyama had stopped, “I didn’t even think you might want to say hello to little miss Megan over here. Megan,” she addressed the girl with a saccharine voice, “do you remember your friend Rei?” Megan smiled and nodded, understanding dawning on her face. “Yes, um,” she turned her head towards Ms. Akiyama, “hello, Ms. Akiyama.” Her diction was far better than everything else about her appearance (size aside) would suggest. “Hi, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but find herself bending over the girl a little bit in mimicry of Heather’s stance, “how are you doing today?” Nor could she keep a certain cooing quality out of her voice. Somewhere in her brain, she knew this was a nineteen-year-old girl, just like Rei, and yet the illusion of toddlerhood was so convincing, she couldn’t help but respond to it. “I’m good,” her cheeks were turning a warm red, “just…watching TV and coloring.” “She’s being a good girl for mommy while mommy works, isn’t that right, munchkin?” Heather chimed in. “Mommy…” the girl whined embarrassedly, yet seemingly unembarrassed to be heard calling her mother ‘mommy,’ Then the girl’s eyes suddenly went wide, as if just remembering something, “is Rei here?” She leaned over, her diaper crinkling under her, to look behind Ms. Akiyama. “Not today, sweetheart,” Ms. Akiyama responded. “But,” Heather chimed in immediately, “maybe it won’t be too long before you two can have a playdate, right Hana?” Ms. Akiyama let out a little breathless laugh, “yes, maybe, would you like that, Megan?” Megan put her finger to her lip, pantomiming being deep in thought, and Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but notice how truly toddler-like Megan was in that moment. “Sometimes,” Megan said at last, “I miss Rei, it would be nice to see her.” “Well, then we will just have to make sure to arrange that for you two,” Heather reached down and grabbed the pacifier hanging from Megan’s shirt and popped it in the girl’s mouth. “Now, Ms. Akiyama and Mommy are going to go talk in her office, you be good and watch your show, okay? And no more thumb sucking, little lady, that’s what your paci is for.” Heather booped her daughter’s nose, eliciting a gleeful giggle in response, then straightened up and beckoned Ms. Akiyama deeper into the house. “Now, Hana,” Heather said as she led Ms. Akiyama into the dining room and pulled out a chair for her, “can I get your something to drink? Coffee? Iced tea?” She dropped her voice and held her hand to her mouth as if whispering a secret, “a glass of white wine? I won’t judge, darling!” Ms. Akiyama chuckled politely, “a coffee sounds lovely, Heather, thank you.” “Coming right up,” Heather walked into the kitchen, pulled out two mugs and began fiddling with a pod coffee machine as she spoke. “You know, I was a little surprised to hear from you last night. And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t unwelcome, I was just…surprised, you know?” Ms. Akiyama did know. She had once been pretty good friends with Heather Eckridge. Their daughters had met in middle school and become inseparable for years after that. Heather might not have been the kind of person Ms. Akiyama would have become friends with under more natural circumstances, but their daughter’s friendship had put them in close proximity and the two had eventually grown fond of each other. And then everything changed, and their friendship changed with it. It wasn’t like they were strangers now, but they…well…aside from the run-in a few months ago at the store, the most the two had communicated since their daughters had graduated from high school was through liking each other’s social media posts. Which, for Ms. Akiyama, just added to the surrealness of this reunion; she felt like she knew every major life update Heather had gone through for the past couple of years, and vice versa, while also having drifted away from the woman they had happened to. “Yes, I’m…sorry I didn’t keep in better touch,” Ms. Akiyama replied, mostly because she felt like that’s what she should say. “No worries, sugar,” Heather said as she came back into the dining room and set two glass of iced tea down. “I understand life is just hectic these days; I mean, you see what I’ve had my hands full with,” she chuckled as she gestured back towards the living room. “Speaking of, you said this was about Rei? What’s going on with her?” Ms. Akiyama sighed, blowing the steam from her coffee cup as she did, “I’m not sure I even know, Heather,” she replied, “and that’s kind of the problem.” Heather made an sympathetic sound in her throat and sipped on her coffee. “I’ll be honest, Hana; I always thought you were against…well, the kind of treatment Megan gets,” Heather said bluntly but neither accusatorially nor defensively. “To be honest, I thought it was part of the reason we drifted apart.” “I was never against it,” Ms. Akiyama replied, “and it certainly wasn’t the reason we drifted apart.” Of course, neither statement was entirely true; though, in fairness, neither was entirely false, either. “I guess I just…never understood it,” she said, a little more honestly, “but, lately…well…” she shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “Why don’t you tell me the whole story, darling? Right from the beginning.” So, Ms. Akiyama did. “I’m just worried about her,” Ms. Akiyama said some few minutes later as she was coming to the conclusion of her tale, “worried she’s going to start hanging out with the wrong crowds and get herself in trouble, not to mention fill her head with ideas that will only lead to being unhappy and frustrated. I know Rei’s independence is important to her, and I’ve tried to be respectful of that, but if these are the kinds of decisions she is making with that independence, maybe…maybe she’s not mature enough to handle it, after all. “I understand exactly what you mean, darling,” Heather reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on Ms. Akiyama’s, “that’s why we never let Megan go off to college. Her and Rei are so alike, I just know Megan would have ended up taking those kinds of classes, probably gotten herself involved with that Rebel group—” “And that’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Ms. Akiyama interjected. “It’s bad enough that Rei is even taking these kinds of classes, but going behind my back and lying about it is so unlike her that I’m worried what else she might be capable of doing. It makes me worried she’s already gotten her head full of ideas that are going to get her hurt or worse.” Heather nodded along sympathetically as Ms. Akiyama spoke. “It would certainly be a tragedy to see poor Rei go down that path.” “So,” Ms. Akiyama continued, “I started thinking last night, and it just…kind of clicked. You know, like I said, I never was really against this kind of…behavioral therapy,” Ms. Akiyama used what she believed was the politically correct term for it, “I just…didn’t understand. But…” Ms. Akiyama went on to explain her thought process, finishing with a timid, “does that make sense?” “It makes perfect sense, darling, and that’s exactly why we decided this was best for Megan.” “Do you ever…regret it?” “Goodness, no! Megan and I are closer than ever, and I know she’s happy and staying out of trouble.” “Is she though? Happy, that is.” Heather smiled, “come on,” she stood up from the table and headed back into the living room. Ms. Akiyama pushed her chair away from the table and followed Heather, finding her kneeling down next to the playpen, where Megan’s focus had shifted from the TV to her coloring book. “Honey?” Heather said gently, getting Megan’s attention. “Hi, Mommy,” the girl mumbled around her pacifier. “Sweetheart,” Heather reached out and gently pulled the pacifier from her daughter’s mouth, “how do you feel about being a little girl again for Mommy and Daddy?” Megan’s smile positively beamed, “I love it, Mommy.” “Do you ever,” Ms. Akiyama chimed in as she settled on the floor next to Heather, “miss being a big girl?” Megan scrunched up her face in thought, “well, I used to, but I really don’t anymore. Besides, Mommy says I’ll be a big girl again. When I’m ready.” She added the last bit as an afterthought. “Of course,” Heather added, “that’s still quite a few years away, huh little one?” Megan just giggled and nodded. But, Ms. Akiyama wanted to ask, are you really happy? But what did that question even mean; how could Megan possibly answer it? And why was Ms. Akiyama so bent on not taking Megan’s response at face value? Especially when every piece of evidence seemed to verify the truth of it. “Thank you, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama said as she pushed herself up off the floor, “I’ll let you get back to playing.” “Um, Ms. Akiyama?” Megan asked as the two mothers began moving back to the dining room. “Yes?” “Is Rei going to…are you…is Rei going to be a little girl again too?” “I don’t know, sweetheart, why do you ask?” Megan looked down at her hands, which fiddled with her pacifier. “I miss Rei. I didn’t want to stop being friends with her, but I thought she wouldn’t want to be friends with me after…you know…” Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but feel her heart breaking from the young girl. “Don’t worry, Megan,” she replied, “even if Rei doesn’t become a little girl again, I’ll see what I can do about you two being friends still, okay?” Megan smiled that beaming smile again and thanked Ms. Akiyama before popping her pacifier back in and returning to her coloring. “See?” Heather said as the two women sat back down in front of their coffees. “I wouldn’t have guessed she’d be this happy when we started, but…well, here we are.” Ms. Akiyama sighed, “I can’t deny that, I just worry Rei won’t…share those kinds of feelings.” “Listen,” Heather replied, leaning forward to convey her seriousness, “almost every mom I talk to says the same: before long, every girl accepts her place and is happier for it. I’m not going to tell you it will be easy; if you are really thinking about this…well, I mean, you tell me, are you really thinking about doing this?” Ms. Akiyama looked away from Heather, staring at the wall that hid Megan from sight. “I am,” she said after a long moment, surprising even herself. “I mean, maybe not taking it as far as you have with Megan, but…” “Well, that’s another thing,” Heather said, “early on, a little bit goes a long way, but if Rei is taking those kinds of classes at college and going behind your back, I think you need to think about how far you want to go, and then be prepared to go further, if necessary.” Ms. Akiyama considered this, “well, how far do you think would be far enough?” Heather shrugged, “it’s different for every girl and every family, you have to figure out what’s best for you. Look, darling, I’m happy to help you with this if you need it, and you certainly look like you need some help, but the best thing I can suggest is to get some professional help.” “Professional help?” “Yeah! We went to Brighter Days School and Behavioral Therapy for Girls; they were fantastic. Richard and I couldn’t have done this without them.” “Oh, no,” Ms. Akiyama quickly brushed aside the suggestion, “I don’t think Rei would respond well to being sent off to a school like that.” “That’s the thing, you don’t have to send her there.” “What do you mean?” “When Richard and I first decided to handle Megan with this kind of behavioral therapy, we went to them for a consultation. We told them what kind of girl Megan was and what our goals were for her, and they gave us just so many tools and resources we could use. Megan had no idea, and we couldn’t have gotten the results we did without them.” “Huh,” Ms. Akiyama took this in as she sipped at her coffee. That, she had to admit, sounded like exactly what she needed. “If you want,” Heather offered, “I have a referral code I can give you; should get you a discount on the initial consultation.” “I guess…it can’t hurt, right?” Chapter Eleven “Reports coming in early this morning that late last night Greenham Police Department made two arrests in conjunction with the October 4th bombing of the Greenham City Hall. The suspects, seen here, are twenty-year-old Melanie Wright and twenty-one-year-old Josie Stone. Both women are assumed to be members of the domestic terrorist group Rebel and are confirmed to both be students at Greenham Community College. Given national intelligence telling us that most splinter groups of The Vantez Collective form around colleges, speculation is rampant that our own Greenham Community College could be the recruiting ground for these homegrown terrorists.” Ms. Akiyama had been watching the news cycle surrounding these arrests all morning, feeling a sense of dread that built every time the news anchor mentioned the connection to Greenham Community College. And everyone knew that these kinds of gender studies classes that Ms. Akiyama had pulled Rei from spoon-fed them all sorts of radical nonsense. Exactly the kind of nonsense that led to your signing up to be a terrorist. Why did they even allow those classes to be taught anymore? Ms. Akiyama took a breath. That was neither here nor now. She’d made the right choice to pull Rei from that class; but maybe that wasn’t quite enough for a girl like Rei. Especially if they already had their hooks in Rei. But, of course, Ms. Akiyama was jumping to conclusions. Right? Rei was headstrong and at times stubborn, but she was a good kid, she knew better than to get herself wrapped up in this kind of business, right? Ms. Akiyama wanted to say that was so, but a knot of anxiety in her chest said otherwise. “Wait, what’s going on?” Rei’s voice from behind her shocked her from her internal monologue. “Oh, um, they arrested two girls for the bombing of City Hall.” “They did?” Rei’s hair was still a mess and her pajamas crumpled on her small frame. “Who? Did they say their names?” Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. “Why? Worried you know them?” “Well,” Rei shrugged, “there aren’t a lot of girls at my school, mom…” Ms. Akiyama frowned at that; Rei had a point. She picked up the TV remote and rewound until she saw the two girl’s pictures pop up on screen. “year-old Melanie Wright,” the voice on the TV narrated, “and twenty-one-year-old Josie Stone.” “So?” “Uh, yeah,” Rei replied, too shocked to even consider whether she should have lied. “I didn’t really know them, though. I had a class with Melanie and um…just saw Josie around.” The instinct to lie kicked before she could blurt out where she really knew Josie from. “What class?” “Um, you know, the…gender…class…” “Oh.” Ms. Akiyama felt that knot of anxiety in her chest tighten. Rei had known these girls. They could have tried to recruit her! These girls could have gotten Rei involved in this whole mess. They hadn’t, had they? She studied her daughter’s face as she stared at the news coverage of the arrests. It wasn’t possible Rei had been involved, was it? She’d come home late that night, Ms. Akiyama remembered that, but she had been with her professor. Her…gender studies…professor… But, no, that was ridiculous. Those professors might fill these girls’ heads with all sorts of nonsense, but certainly they’d never go so far as to encourage much less participate in these sorts of acts. No, Ms. Akiyama was jumping the gun there, surely. But Rei had known them. These were the kinds of girls Ms. Akiyama was letting Rei be around if she kept letting her go to college. If she didn’t do something to make Rei understand that Ms. Akiyama knew best. If she didn’t help Rei learn a new way to be happy in this world. For her part, Rei was glued to the TV, as oblivious to her mother’s stare as she was to her internal dialogue. Was she safe? Were they going to arrest her next? Were they going to arrest Riley next? The truth was, Rei had hardly been involved. She had been in a car with three other girls three blocks away in case something went wrong. She was on the B team. Surely they couldn’t have any evidence against her, right? But what if Melanie or Josie turned on the rest of them? Some kind of plea bargain? They had all promised not to name names or cooperate in any way in the event that this happened, but what would they stick to their word if it meant getting themselves out of trouble? Rei just had to trust that they wouldn’t.

They really are quite generously sized. I'm definitely at the pudgy end of the adult male middle-aged body range, and they fit me, granted, at the ragged edge of their capabilities. They also have padding going all the way around, whereas most other pull-ups that can be bought in stores (Depends, Tena) are sort of stretchy disposable underwear with an oversized sanitary pad sewn into them. You have to go to a medical supplier to get an adult pull-up that is built like a Goodnight - Abena etc. That said, their use for me would be strictly recreational - they cannot be compared to a real diaper in terms of capacity or reliability.

IDK, I would have to imagine that Isabelle would have kept the slippers if she decided to stay little. But to me, the ambiguity was the sell point for the closing. Had you not added the epilogue, I would have been perfectly content making the decision for her in my head.

My reaction to these final chapters is pleasure: I am so pleased to see such a lovely, nicely crafted finale to a story I've enjoyed so much. As to the questions at hand: I think she let the slippers go (and woe to those people sitting directly below her). In my mind, though, they never completed falling: being magic, they vanished long before bonking people on the head. Further, I think Isabelle grew up, went to Higgins, became a dancer, had a nice career, and then...bought the little store. I think this shop owner's name is Isabelle. 🙂

Hi! My name's Lucy, and I thought I'd share one of my stories I've read a lot of stories here and really enjoyed them, so I hope people enjoy mine as well ^.^ This is a story I've been working on for a little while, and thought I'd share it. This is the first two chapters, there's more but I don't want to make this too long. There's probably a few spelling and grammar errors sorry, I've edited these chapters a few times but something always slips through x.x Also I'm not sure if I formatted it correctly so apologies for anything odd showing up. There's no sexual content in this story. Possibly some light swearing though. Synopsis: Derek is helping his boss set up her nursery in anticipation of her new baby girl, but what he doesn't realize is that her new baby girl...is going to be him! And that maybe, just maybe, the life of an infant girl isn't as terrible as it first seems. Chapter One: Shrinking I finished setting up the crib and looked around the living room for Julia, wanting to show off my hard work. She was my boss and was adopting a baby next week, so another co-worker and I were helping her set up a nursery. I’d spent most of my time putting the damn crib together as it’d been surprisingly complicated. Despite working at a tech company, I was only a receptionist so struggled with making anything more complicated than a Lego set. The finished crib was very cute though, pink with white bars, and had pretty cartoon princesses decorating the front and back. I felt stupidly proud of myself for having completed it. Just as I was about to leave to look for her, Julia entered the living room. She was a slender, pretty woman in her mid-thirties and of Italian descent, with long blonde hair and a neat fringe. Her curvy figure looked great in a strappy black sundress that ended at her knees, and gold bracelets adorned her hands. ‘Ah! You’re finished,’ she looked over the crib, her slender fingers dancing over its side, ‘it looks wonderful. The baby’s going to love it.’ ‘I hope so,’ I said and easily returned her smile. Julia was a great boss, easygoing and generous, so I was more than happy to help her. ‘Thankyou for helping, Derek,’ she put a hand on my arm and squeezed softly, ‘It’d have taken me days to set this up. I’m hopeless when it comes to building things.’ ‘No problem. It was more fun than answering calls in the office all day,’ I said with a shrug and she laughed. ‘I can imagine. We’ve been so busy lately, haven’t we? I almost feel bad for taking so much time off.’ Before I could reply, Ellie came into the room with. She was my co-worker and my heart skipped a beat as she smiled at me. I’d had a crush on her ever since I’d started working, as we were both twenty-six and shared the same geeky interest. She was of average height, had long black hair and a round, pretty face with large green eyes. She always dressed elegantly, neat pencil skirts and white blouses, which suited her skinny form well. ‘I finished setting up the changing table,’ she said with a grin, ‘now all we need is the crib and the nursery’s finished! Your new baby girl’s going to be so happy, Julia.’ ‘Oh, I know she will,’ Julia returned her grin and brushed her hair behind her ears, ‘this has gone so much faster than I thought. I can’t thank you two enough.’ ‘Don’t mention it. I love babies,’ Ellie giggled, ‘you’d better let me help care for her. What day were you getting her again? Friday?’ For some reason Julia’s eyes flickered to me before she answered. ‘That’s the plan, and then we’ll have a baby shower on the Monday. I don’t think I’ll drop by work for a while, but I’ll send out invitations by email.’ ‘I can’t wait. There’s so many things I want to buy her,’ Ellie clapped her hands together, excited, ‘can I babysit sometime? I used to babysit all the time in high-school and I loved it.’ ‘I will most definitely take you up on that offer,’ Julia laughed. ‘Have you come up with a name for her yet?’ I asked and she turned to me, her eyes sparkling. ‘I have,’ a warm smile lit up her face, ‘her name is Bonnie. My precious little baby Bonnie.’ ————————————————————————————————————————————————- Julia and I carried the crib upstairs to the nursery, and stepping into it was almost like entering another world. The walls were pastel-pink and decorated with cute drawings of animals, cartoon princesses, ribbons and bows, while the hardwood floor was almost completely covered in a fluffy pink rug. Pink was the dominant theme here, with almost everything being some shade or another of it. A well-stocked changing table sat next to a cupboard full of diapers, baby powder and anything else a newborn baby would need. Shelves lined the walls and held cute things like stuffed toys, a ballerina music box, Disney princes figurines and dolls. There were bookcases full of baby books, a chest of drawers that I imagined was full of colorful baby clothes, and two sat in the corner brimming with that I imagined were quite enticing toys to a baby. Colorful rattles, pretty dolls, a large home for the doll, crayons, tiny instruments and the like. It was warmer in here than the rest of the house and smelt pleasantly of strawberries, making the room quite comfortable to be in. I actually felt a little awkward in here, as if my manhood was somehow being sapped away. It was a stupid feeling but I wasn’t all that comfortable with babies and girly things. I was a tall man, almost six foot, and quite burly with a mustache and messy black hair. You’d expect to see me at a football game or tech event, not in a girls nursery. ‘There we go,’ Julia sighed as we sent the crib alongside the back wall. ‘What do you think? It’s a pretty nice nursery, right?’ ‘It’s adorable!’ Ellie squealed as she stared at the multitude of stuffed toys on the shelves. ‘Everything’s so cute and pretty and pink! Oh my god. Any baby girl would be so happy here.’ ‘Yeah. Your baby’s going to love it,’ I said and Julia grinned. ‘Oh, I know she will,’ she said and her eyes lingered on me for a while, before she turned to Ellie, ‘you said you babysat a lot in high-school? What was that like?’ I stood awkwardly near the entrance of the room while the two women talked about babysitting and how adorable children were. I had nothing to add to a conversation like that so waited for a lull so I could make plans to go home. It was almost six-thirty in the afternoon and I was starting to get hungry, plus putting that crib together had tired me out more than I’d care to admit. I’d gotten a taxi here as Julia lived in a fancy gated community so there was no pubic transport here, and I didn’t have a car. The women’s conversation went on for quite a while, but ended when Julia professed to feeling light-headed and was planning on having an early night. Ellie had to pick up her little sister from a friends place so needed to leave as well. ‘Take care of yourself, Julia,’ Ellie said and hugged our boss, ‘you’re going to be a mummy soon, you need to be in your best shape. If you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask.’ ‘I won’t. Thankyou,’ Julia held her hands for a moment and then let go. ‘And I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Derek,’ Ellie said and gave me a tight hug, causing my heart skip a beat. She was so small and slender compared to me, and her perfume was soft and peachy. I returned the hug as gently as I could and wished, for perhaps the thousands time, that I wasn’t such a coward. I wanted to ask her out so badly, but the thought of doing so terrified me. ‘Don’t be late, okay? We’re going to be meeting or replacement boss tomorrow and first impressions are important.’ ‘Y-yeah, they are,’ I blushed, ‘I’ll make sure to come in early.’ She nodded, said her goodbyes and then left. I smiled at Julia ‘I should get out of your hair too’ I said, ‘I’ll call a taxi-’ ‘Actually, could you help me with one more thing?’ She went to the door. ‘It won’t take long. Just stay there and I’ll be right back.’ ‘Ah, sure,’ I said as I took out my phone, ‘did you forget something for the nursery?’ ‘Something like that,’ she said with a small laugh and hurried out the room, seemingly excited. I frowned after her before looking at my phone and felt a familiar pang of sadness. No new texts, no missed calls and no messages on social media. I didn’t have any real friends outside of work and my family didn’t keep in contact, even though I’d been trying to get closer to them. I’d been active on social media in the hopes of making new friends but hadn’t had any luck. Every time I opened my phone I hoped to find new notifications but it never happened. I’d been lonely most of my life, but as I grew older it was starting to get worse. I didn’t know what to do about it… I looked up as Julia returned, holding something odd in her hands. It looked like a pink toy gun with a metal circle at the front set into a curved black disc. I frowned as she closed the door and pointed the gun at me with an excited smile. ‘I’ve been waiting over a year for this moment,’ she said, her words practically trembling with anticipation ‘I can’t believe that it’s finally here. This is going to be amazing! Stand still please, I don’t want to miss.’ ‘Uhm. What?’ I tilted my head to the side and laughed. ‘Is that a toy for the baby?’ ‘No, it’s a specialized shrink ray,’ she said, her eyes shining, ‘it’s a prototype and the only one ever made. It was deemed a failure because it only worked on humans, couldn’t be reversed and costs insane amounts of money to shrink even just one person. The company is still working on making a better one, but my friend managed to save this before it was destroyed, and I bought it off them.’ I just stared at her in confusion and wondered if she was joking. Shrink rays didn’t exist. Was this some kind of game? ‘I had some alterations made to the shrinking process,’ she continued with wide eyes, ‘it took a long time but in addition to it shrinking someone, it’ll also alter their DNA and turn them into a girl. Provided you use it on a man, of course. I don’t know what it’d do to a woman and I don’t really care to find out.’ ‘I’m…confused,’ I admitted with a nervous laugh and put my phone away, ‘why are you telling me this?’ ‘Because I’m going to use it on you,’ she beamed and held the shrink ray up, ‘are you ready to become my new baby girl?’ I just frowned at her. ‘This isn’t funny, Julia. I don’t-agh!’ I yelped as the end of the gun glowed and a warm tightness covered my body. It began to press against me and I felt odd, as if my skin were too small. My stomach lurched at the sensation of missing a step and dizziness consumed me. I cried out, my voice high-pitched, as my clothes grew larger around me. The warm tightness increased to an almost painful level and I stared at Julia in horror as I realized she was growing bigger. I’d been the same height as her before, but now I only reached her chest. And then just below her chest, then her waist and… Holy crap…I was actually shrinking. What the hell? ‘Help!’ I squeaked as I continued to shrink, the tightness pushing me down as butterflies thundered in my stomach. Julia watched me in wide-eyed fascination, and crouched down as I continued to shrink. ‘Julia! Stop it! Please!’ I collapsed to my knees and closed my eyes as the tightness increased, and a tingling feeling washed over my body. The pressure grew worse before stopping for a few seconds, and I felt parts of my body changing somehow, shifting inside me. The warmth became burning as the tightness returned, and I felt myself shrink more and more. Everything was so tight and hot… And then it just stopped. The tightness vanished and my body began to cool off, causing me to sweat slightly. I took a few deep breaths and opened my eyes to see my clothing surrounding me like a mound, and above them was the huge, smiling face of Julia. A choked groan escaped me as I stared at her, realizing just how small I was. I had to be no bigger than forty centimeters, maybe even a little smaller. I stared at her in horror and then looked down at myself, shaking. My body had changed into a girls. I was flat-chested, hairless and had…well, female genitalia. I touched my face and found it softer than before, slightly squishier, and my hair now reached down to my shoulders and was a light blonde. I moaned and covered my crotch, my cheeks burning with shame. I’d never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, before. What was going on? This…this had to be a dream, it couldn’t be real. ‘Hello my pretty little baby,’ Julia breathed as she stared at me, utterly delighted, ‘welcome to your new life!’ Chapter Two: Diapered ‘What…what…’ I gasped up at Julia, my voice small and soft, ‘what did you do to me?’ ‘I told you. I shrunk you and turned you into a girl,’ she tapped her lip for a moment as her eyes ran over me, ‘a young girl too, by the looks of it. Maybe six? You’re small enough to be a newborn baby though, don’t worry.’ I shivered and tried to hide my body with a piece of my now-giant shirt sleeve. ‘Why did you do this to me?’ ‘Because I thought you’d make a great baby girl, and I was right,’ she sighed, her eyes distant, ‘I was always going to shrink someone and make them my baby. I’ve wanted a baby but I can’t give birth and, honestly, I don’t really want an adult child. I want a baby, forever. A gorgeous little bundle of love that never grows up, never hurts me, never leaves me. Who can’t do anything without my help, who relies on my love and support to survive.’ ‘That’s…weird,’ I said after digesting that for a moment, ‘why did you do pick me for this?’ ‘Because I know you had a difficult childhood, being orphaned as a baby with no parents to love and care for you’ she said, her voice gentle and sympathetic, ‘I’m going to give you the love and support you always wanted growing up, baby. I promise.’ I stared at her with wide eyes and to my shame, her words resonated slightly with me. My childhood had been terrible and I’d grown up desperately wishing I’d had parents, a mother to love and care for me. But what the hell! That didn’t mean I wanted to be a baby! ‘I don’t want your love and support,’ I snapped, ‘and I don’t understand why you turned me into a girl.’ ‘Because whoever I shrunk would be missing, and I don’t want to take even the smallest chance of being caught. The possibility that someone would think a missing woman is my newborn baby girl would be minuscule, but still possible. So I figured, why not find a way to turn a man into a girl and shrink them? I doubt anyone would suspect that a missing man is a baby girl.’ ‘You’re insane,’ I muttered. ‘Aww, sweetie. Don’t be like that. This is a second chance to get all love and care you always wanted! Although, its a second chance that’ll last the rest of your life, but that’s fine. Being a baby is going to be wonderful! You’ll see.’ She and reached out to grab me and I jerked away, but stumbled backwards and fell on my clothes, allowing her to easily grab me. She put her hands under my armpits and lifted me into the air as if I weighed nothing. ‘This can’t be real,’ I whimpered as she lifted me to her face so she could inspect me. Shame burned through me at being naked with this body in front of Julia, who was no a giantess to me. My bladder throbbed slightly and I realized I needed to pee, a prospect that terrified me. ‘This is real, sweetie,’ Julia breathed and let out a delighted laugh, ‘oh god, you’re perfect! I’m so relieved. I thought it might not work properly, or at all, but wow. You look just like a tiny little girl.’ I swallowed and tried to glare at her, but I was trembling too much to make anything other than a scared face. ‘Turn me back!’ ‘Sorry baby, but that’s not possible,’ she held me up higher so she could inspect my lower half, ‘the shrinking process is irreversible. You’ll be stuck like this for the rest of your life.’ I shook my head, feeling as if I were in a dream. This couldn’t be happening. ‘That’s not true. You have to be able to turn me back.’ ‘I’m afraid I can’t, so you’re going to have to get used to this,’ she said and, to my shock, kissed me on the top of the head. Her soft, flower-scented perfume washed over me and the feel of her large lips on the top of my tiny head was soft and…surreal. I almost giggled. ‘You’re crazy,’ I flailed about but it was impossible to get out of her grip, ‘you can’t keep me like this. You have to turn me back. People will figure out what you’ve done.’ ‘No they won’t. Why do you even want to be turned back?’ She sounded genuinely curious. ‘Your life is going to be so much better this way. You have no responsibilities, no stress, nothing. You get to sleep and play all day, and have a mummy that loves you very much.’ ‘I don’t want that!’ I kicked my legs in frustration. ‘What about my family and friends? My life!’ ‘Don’t worry about that. It’s all over now. Look!’ She hugged me to her shoulder and I reflectively clutched at her, terrified at how easily she could move me. Her warm hands were huge against me, holding me firmly against her so that there was no chance of me falling. She got up, walked to the changing table and then held me up. There was a mirror above the table and I couldn’t believe what I saw. I looked adorable, like a miniature five year old. Large blue eyes in a round face with pouty lips, chubby cheeks and silky blonde hair. Not even close to how I used to look. There wasn’t a shred of the adult man I used to be left… And god, the size difference between Julia and I was terrifying. Seeing her behind me, holding me up to the mirror, was surreal. I was like a doll…no, a…a baby… ‘See? You’re a precious little baby girl now. My precious little baby girl,’ she kissed the side of my face, ‘you don’t have to worry about anything anymore. Just relax and let mummy talk care of everything.’ ‘I’m not a baby girl. I’m a man!’ I sniffed, the shock of what I was seeing making me tear up. I snapped my eyes shut as the pressure on my bladder increased. ‘This is…this can’t be real. I’m dreaming. You drugged me somehow…I’m hallucinating…’ Julia sighed but didn’t say anything, just carefully put me onto the changing table. I opened my eyes and took a few steps, finding it hard to walk on the soft pink mattress covering it. I looked around at the shelves above me, filled with baby supplies now just as large as I was, and my head spun. I dropped onto my hands and swallowed, still struggling to believe this was all real. I was so small! I was less than half the size of the changing table, and the pink bedroom seemed as large as a football field. I couldn’t escape from here like this, couldn’t even get off the changing table because of how small I was. I was locked in my own tiny world, a warm, pink one for little baby girls. Julia rubbed my head for a moment and I trembled. I stared up at her as she smiled fondly down at me, seeming for all the world like a happy mother smiling at her newborn baby. ‘Please, Julia…’ I said, getting to my feet, ‘this is crazy. You can’t do this. Turn me back.’ ‘I wouldn’t even if I could,’ she said as she reached under the table, ‘this is a blessing, baby. You’ll thank me one day. And you’re to call me “mummy” from now on, not Julia.’ She took out a fresh pink diaper with a cartoon princess out from the changing table, and it crinkled as she placed it next to me. As she grabbed a bottle of baby power the realization of what was about to happen hit me like a truck and I whimpered. ‘You’re going to…to put me in a diaper?’ ‘Of course, baby,’ she giggled as she opened the diaper. Its crinkling sent shivers down my spine. ‘Y-you can’t be serious. I’m not wearing a diaper!’ I backed away from her, from the awful fluffy pink crinkling thing in her hands, but she held me still with her free hand. ‘You’re going to be in diapers for the rest of your life, so it’s best you start accepting that now,’ she said gently, ‘I know this is difficult, but you’ll get used to it. Soon you won’t be able to remember what it was like not to be in diapers.’ She pushed me onto my back and held me there. I struggled against her hand but it was impossible to free myself. She was too strong and I was too small, too weak. Like a…like a real baby… ‘Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way,’ she said once I stopped struggling ‘you can be a good little baby and let me diaper you without a fuss, or you can struggle and fight. That won’t go well for you, and in the end you’ll still end up in this diaper. I’d suggest doing things the easy way.’ She released her hand and I lay on my back staring up at her, feeling even more vulnerable than before. I tried to think of what to do but was frozen in panic. I didn’t want to wear a diaper but couldn’t see how I was going to get out of this. She was too strong to resist, and even if she wasn’t, where was I going to go? I couldn’t get off this changing table, or dodge her hands forever. I couldn’t get out of this. ‘Please don’t do this,’ I said, my voice wavering, ‘I’m not a baby. This is crazy. You-’ ‘Shh. It’s okay baby,’ she said, seeming not listen to me, and laid the diaper flat at my feet. She then grabbed a bottle of talcum powder and tapped it into her palm, filling the air with its gentle scent, and reached for me. ‘I’m just going to put this on so you don’t get a diaper rash. Stay still.’ ‘Don’t put that on me!’ I kicked at her hand and her eyes narrowed. ‘No!’ She shouted and I whimpered, her voice loud as thunder. ‘Don’t kick at me! Bad baby! Bad!’ Panic tore through me and I dropped my legs, trembling. It hit me then just how completely at Julia’s mercy I was, how easily she could hurt me if she wanted. The pressure on my bladder increased with my fear but I just barely managed to hold it in. ‘Good girl,’ Julia said in a softer tone and her bright smile returned, ‘it’s silly to resist. Now put your hands above your head, there we go.’ I shuddered as she gently patted my tummy, thighs and, after lifting up my legs, butt. My cheeks burned at the humiliation of being treated like a baby but there was nothing I could do besides just watch this giant of a woman from on my back. ‘There we go, all done,’ Julia cooed and patted her hands together, ‘now lets get you into your new diaper!’ She grabbed my legs by the ankles with one hand and leaned over me, her long hair falling onto either side of me. I gasped as she lifted my lower body up by the ankles and slipped the diaper under me, then gently laid me onto it. It was soft and fluffy against my naked butt and crinkled as my weight settled onto it. I stared wide-eyed up at her as she smiled down at me, her face as large as the sun. Humiliated at what was about to happen, I tried to roll off the diaper but she placed a firm hand against my chest. The scent of the fresh diaper filled the air. With her other hand she lifted the front of the diaper and gently pulled it up and across my stomach. I gasped again as the soft fluffiness hugged my lower body in a snug embrace and looked down at myself, scarcely believing I was being diapered. The bright pink was a stark contrast to my pale skin and it was so thick, so undeniably infantile, that I couldn’t imagine anyone but a baby girl wearing it. Julia pulled the diaper tighter against me and then let go of my feet. The thickness of the padding between my legs made them fall to their sides in a horribly babyish pose, but when I tried to push them together I found I couldn’t. I was too weak, the diaper too thick. Julia smiled at my attempts and then carefully taped the diaper up, sealing my fate. She kissed my stomach and brushed my hair from my eyes, smiling fondly down at me. I blinked away tears as the reality of what had just happened set in. I’d just been powered and diapered like a helpless baby girl, and there was nothing I could do about it. The diaper was soft and snug against my lower body, impossible to ignore, and Julia loomed over me like a goddess. I felt tiny and pathetic, so much so that I just lay there and prayed this was just a nightmare I’d wake up from soon. This was so demeaning… ‘There we go,’ Julia said in a soothing tone and beamed down at me, ‘don’t cry, baby. Doesn’t it feel nice and secure?’ ‘It f-feels awful!’ I sniffed and wiped my eyes, not wanting to cry. ‘I hate this!’ ‘You’ll grow to love it,’ she reached under the changing table and came back up with a frilly pink dress, ‘now let’s make you adorable!’ I stared at the dress and had to fight off more tears. It was sickeningly feminine, with “Mummy’s princess” on the front in gold lettering and pink bows on the shoulders and sides. I knew it would be pointless to protest against wearing it so let Julia push me upright and slide it over my head, then guide my tiny arms through the small sleeves. It fell down to my hips and puffed up around the diaper, while fitting perfectly around my chest. I was soft and cottony inside, but smooth and silky on the outside. I ran my hands down it with a shudder, having never in my life worn something so girly before. ‘Oh my,’ Julia breathed and ran her hands down my sides, ‘you are so pretty, little one. I need to get a picture of this.’ ‘What?’ I flinched as she pulled her phone out of her dress and held it to me. ‘You can’t take photos!’ ‘Of course I can,’ she laughed as the phone clicked a few times, ‘you’re my baby, and I want to save these precious moments forever. I’m going to fill so many albums with pictures of you, and the house too.’ I tried to cover my face but she pushed my hands away with a frown, telling me that babies didn’t get embarrassed or ashamed. It was all I could do not to burst into tears as the giant woman took photos and called me every cute name under the sun. The diaper crinkled under me every time I shifted my weight and I felt so awkward sitting there with it. My legs were spread out in front of me and my hands rested on the front of the diaper, like a real baby. This really was a nightmare… How was I going to get out of this? Nobody would notice me missing until tomorrow, and Julia was right, nobody would think her new baby would be me. She was the last person to have seen me, but she could easily lie about that. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d planned all of this out to make sure that nobody would suspect her in my disappearance. She was a smart woman, the CEO of her own tech company, and had apparently been planning this for over a year. Nobody would save me unless I did something, found a way out. There was no way in hell I was going to let this be my new reality! ‘That should be enough for now,’ Julia finally said and put away her phone, ‘let’s go on a little trip, shall we? It’s time to cut your hair.’ She slipped her hand under my butt and held me against her stomach, while her other hand pressed me firm against her. The pressure of her hand under me made the diaper push harder against my groin and I let out a breath. Despite how strange the diaper felt on me, how ashamed I was to be wearing it, it was actually quite comfortable. Warm, fluffy and snug. I utterly despised it and was going to take it off the moment Julia left me alone, but still. At least it wasn’t painful. Her body was warm against me and my head squashed gently against her large boobs, which were each larger than my head. A horrible thought occurred to me as I looked at them. What was she going to feed me? Adult food, baby food or…milk? And if milk, was it going to be formula or…or would she actually breast-feed me? Could she breast-feed me? Oh god…please, don’t make her breast-feed me. I don’t think I could stand the humiliation of that happen. I wouldn’t let it happen! No way! To be continued! If people want it to be Let me know if you do! The first 6 chapters are done, but I need to go over and edit the 3rd ones onward a fair amount. Either way, thankyou so much for reading! Any feedback is much appreciated!