Biggest daily hardships/struggles

[Young1]

Whats everyones biggest daily hardships or stuggles for everyone on a day to day basis? 

Mine would be making sure im not exposed, keeping cool in my diaper, wanting to tell my close friends about me wearing, wetting while sitting or laying down. 

 

[DailyDi]

Toss up between fighting depression and dealing with a bad back (can't stand for more than 2min without extreme pain)

Really no worries as far as diapers go. I think its easier for a big guy to hide diapers as I look padded by nature

[Young1]

36 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

Toss up between fighting depression and dealing with a bad back (can't stand for more than 2min without extreme pain)

Really no worries as far as diapers go. I think its easier for a big guy to hide diapers as I look padded by nature

Yeah depression and anxiety here are some big factors and back pain can be the worst.

Hot days are a thing where i just either dont want to wear (gets super sweaty down there) just because of the sweat. Then i get into a funk and then the day goes to crap 

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, Young1 said:

Whats everyones biggest daily hardships or stuggles for everyone on a day to day basis? 

Mine would be making sure im not exposed, keeping cool in my diaper, wanting to tell my close friends about me wearing, wetting while sitting or laying down. 

 

Young1, do you work at a soda bottling plant? If you do, do you get discounts on soda or free soda??

[Young1]

1 hour ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Young1, do you work at a soda bottling plant? If you do, do you get discounts on soda or free soda??

I dont my friend works for coca cola but he get no discounts 

[Little Cub Pants]

19 minutes ago, Young1 said:

I dont my friend works for coca cola but he get no discounts 

Does he get free soda??

[Young1]

3 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Does he get free soda??

Nope 

[Little Cub Pants]

1 minute ago, Young1 said:

Nope 

That sucks!? When I was younger I used to collect Coca-cola glass bottles.?

[~Brian~]

@Young1

Mine are:  Dealing with my Mobility, because I NEED to do PT, and I have to work my arms, legs and make sure that I can stand without pain, as @DailyDisays.  I can probably stand LONGER than 2 minutes, but I have to be careful, because if I have my knees kick out, then I may lose balance.  Today at PT ran the Nustep, which is a cross trainer.  They strap me in, and the device allows you to SIT down, and you grab the handles and adjust them, as well as the seat for the length of the legs, then you set the workout, the timer, and you are set:  Here is a Pic of it:

According to the PT:  The machine can cost upwards of 8-10 THOUSAND Dollars:  Running on this thing, made me feel like I was actually doing something GOOD.  My legs are strapped in, and I can then do LOW impact stuff, and NOT hurt my body - Just have to watch how fast I go, and keep the speed at a reasonable rate.  Did 10 minutes on this thing, and in some of the workout my spm rate was 100 to 150.  If I was doing it at a constant rate, and slower, it would show a rate of 70-100.  Ironically, my applewatch (similar to @~ashley~'s,) detected I was exercising, and made a BEEP noise, and said "looks like you are working OUT," then asked me to activate some app:  watch needed a charge, so I didn't do that.  I burned 90 calories doing that.  I wonder if I could do the equivalent of one of @~ashley~'s 200 mile bike rides, or one of @froggy's 10-15 mile exercise bike runs?  That would be so COOL, as it would be something that would make me HAPPY - I PUSH myself sometimes, but have to be practical. 

Sometimes I wish I could afford this thing:  I would Run one day till my legs were KILLING me, just to get the workout:  If I kept that up, my legs would get stronger, and all I would do is alternate that with my stander.  Today I FELT like the @~Brian~ I want to be:  It stinks that I have gone so far DOWN that I feel like a turd ball, because I really want to get stronger, so whatever I am using, I am limber, loose and able to respond without fear of falling and breaking something. 

Weight:   I am over 200 Pounds due to the pandemic, due to the inability to get out, and do what I normally do, which is to work, or ride my chair or the motorcycle.  It is something I enjoy like Mom and Gary do, and it gives me time to do something special with a man i love, respect and look UP to.  There are NOT too many things he and I can do together, and it is FUN to spend time riding:  We always START at my apartment, and we END there, and he goes home, but the FUN thing is, it is a SURPRISE to me where he may go, or whether we stop for a sub, creemee (soft serve) or maybe a lunch at a restaurant, or we may go see someone that is a relative I have not seen for a LONG time.  When I am aboard the Harley, I feel like I am FREE - like a bird, and there is rush of endorphins that run through my head, and my body, as I ride, knowing that I can NOT fall, or get hurt as long as I have access to the grab handles on either side.

Incontinence Supplies:  I seem to be in a situation where I am supposed to be able to "order" supplies every month, and for some reason, on the last few occasions, everything is FINE, and I order my 90 diapers, and then they are sent after being ordered on Amazon by my supplier.  I get them anywhere from 3-7 days after being ordered.  This time, with the PA that I had, I was under the impression that the doctor had sent in all of the necessary paperwork and supporting documents in NOVEMBER for a PA that expires December 2020.  What happened was the PA that I heard was renewed was good until November '21.  Feel like sicking the DOGS on this one:  perhaps @Evelyn Dellcerro or @Transfusionelle should, uh, like take care O this: feels like a crapload of excuses and its CRAZY   I wonder if they will "make thems an offer they can't refuse": Like the gangster movies, but SMOOOOOOOOOOTH

In actuality, the PA is DEAD, and requires everyone to be redoing all this work, and while they are doing that, I have NO WAY to at LEAST order diapers.  I also asked the doctor to add Chux pads, wipes and boosters to that PA:  Supplier has 2 out of 4 pieces of the puzzle, because company OWNER contacted my doctor's office to get what they needed.  Right Now, this is week 4, and I have NOT been able to place an order for diapers YET this year, because the PA EXPIRED and apparently was NOT renewed YET.  I am not sure what the hell is up with that, but I should AT LEAST be authorized for the 90 DIAPERS:  The Boosters, Chux and Wipes may have to come later, but I can't restock, and I don't wanna have to use ALL my stock, then have NOTHING, or very low stock.  I think there was a snag somewhere, cause the person that takes care of that left the supplier's company, and this may have slid under the radar, but why can't they allow me to get what they KNOW I need?........what a NIGHTMARE!

EPIDURAL INJECTION [NECK]:  This has been submitted to the pain clinic:  Checking my medical charts, I find that it could take 4-6 weeks to get in there.  I am hurting like heck because of this, and my arm is sleeping and tingling, and when at the worst, it's just a LUMP of flesh that feels like a 20 pound weight:  I need to get back what I LOST, and that will help me for now.  Barring that, I would have to endure it, or have an operation, have them make a 1 inch incision to my neck, lop off the thing causing the problem, open the gap, and screw a plate to c6/c7, thereby FUSING it to C8.  If I do that, 8 weeks in a HARD C-collar, and I'm NOT gonna be able to move my neck.  I hope they rush this as fast as they can, as my patience is lessening, and inconvenience and lack of function is increasing.

These are my struggles, and I should NOT be struggling:  My Mobility is ONE thing, but the others should be easier than this:  Geeeez!

Brian

 

 

[Little Cub Pants]

Let's just say I was born with a illness and that illness has taken a lot from me over the years and made my life extremely difficult. I spent a long time grieving over it. I also struggle with not being able to be a actual 1 Year old baby.??? And sure that may not seem like a big deal, but for someone like me that considers themselves to be a 1 Year old little baby at heart, it can be really difficult. And sometimes I get sad when I can't be what I want to be and sometimes I get jealous of other babies I see on TV or diaper commercials or potty training commercials. And it really makes me frustrated that I can't be as small as I want to be or as young as I want to be, and sometimes I get really whiny.?????? I also struggle with life in general, having to live in a very grown up world where people expect a lot from you. Sometimes I just wish I could leave that world behind and just be who I really am!☺️????❤️???

[~Brian~]

On 6/28/2021 at 3:36 PM, ~Brian~ said:

@Young1

Mine are:  Dealing with my Mobility, because I NEED to do PT, and I have to work my arms, legs and make sure that I can stand without pain, as @DailyDisays.  I can probably stand LONGER than 2 minutes, but I have to be careful, because if I have my knees kick out, then I may lose balance.  Today at PT ran the Nustep, which is a cross trainer.  They strap me in, and the device allows you to SIT down, and you grab the handles and adjust them, as well as the seat for the length of the legs, then you set the workout, the timer, and you are set:  Here is a Pic of it:

According to the PT:  The machine can cost upwards of 8-10 THOUSAND Dollars:  Running on this thing, made me feel like I was actually doing something GOOD.  My legs are strapped in, and I can then do LOW impact stuff, and NOT hurt my body - Just have to watch how fast I go, and keep the speed at a reasonable rate.  Did 10 minutes on this thing, and in some of the workout my spm rate was 100 to 150.  If I was doing it at a constant rate, and slower, it would show a rate of 70-100.  Ironically, my applewatch (similar to @~ashley~'s,) detected I was exercising, and made a BEEP noise, and said "looks like you are working OUT," then asked me to activate some app:  watch needed a charge, so I didn't do that.  I burned 90 calories doing that.  I wonder if I could do the equivalent of one of @~ashley~'s 200 mile bike rides, or one of @froggy's 10-15 mile exercise bike runs?  That would be so COOL, as it would be something that would make me HAPPY - I PUSH myself sometimes, but have to be practical. 

Sometimes I wish I could afford this thing:  I would Run one day till my legs were KILLING me, just to get the workout:  If I kept that up, my legs would get stronger, and all I would do is alternate that with my stander.  Today I FELT like the @~Brian~ I want to be:  It stinks that I have gone so far DOWN that I feel like a turd ball, because I really want to get stronger, so whatever I am using, I am limber, loose and able to respond without fear of falling and breaking something. 

Weight:   I am over 200 Pounds due to the pandemic, due to the inability to get out, and do what I normally do, which is to work, or ride my chair or the motorcycle.  It is something I enjoy like Mom and Gary do, and it gives me time to do something special with a man i love, respect and look UP to.  There are NOT too many things he and I can do together, and it is FUN to spend time riding:  We always START at my apartment, and we END there, and he goes home, but the FUN thing is, it is a SURPRISE to me where he may go, or whether we stop for a sub, creemee (soft serve) or maybe a lunch at a restaurant, or we may go see someone that is a relative I have not seen for a LONG time.  When I am aboard the Harley, I feel like I am FREE - like a bird, and there is rush of endorphins that run through my head, and my body, as I ride, knowing that I can NOT fall, or get hurt as long as I have access to the grab handles on either side.

Incontinence Supplies:  I seem to be in a situation where I am supposed to be able to "order" supplies every month, and for some reason, on the last few occasions, everything is FINE, and I order my 90 diapers, and then they are sent after being ordered on Amazon by my supplier.  I get them anywhere from 3-7 days after being ordered.  This time, with the PA that I had, I was under the impression that the doctor had sent in all of the necessary paperwork and supporting documents in NOVEMBER for a PA that expires December 2020.  What happened was the PA that I heard was renewed was good until November '21.  Feel like sicking the DOGS on this one:  perhaps @Evelyn Dellcerro or @Transfusionelle should, uh, like take care O this: feels like a crapload of excuses and its CRAZY   I wonder if they will "make thems an offer they can't refuse": Like the gangster movies, but SMOOOOOOOOOOTH

In actuality, the PA is DEAD, and requires everyone to be redoing all this work, and while they are doing that, I have NO WAY to at LEAST order diapers.  I also asked the doctor to add Chux pads, wipes and boosters to that PA:  Supplier has 2 out of 4 pieces of the puzzle, because company OWNER contacted my doctor's office to get what they needed.  Right Now, this is week 4, and I have NOT been able to place an order for diapers YET this year, because the PA EXPIRED and apparently was NOT renewed YET.  I am not sure what the hell is up with that, but I should AT LEAST be authorized for the 90 DIAPERS:  The Boosters, Chux and Wipes may have to come later, but I can't restock, and I don't wanna have to use ALL my stock, then have NOTHING, or very low stock.  I think there was a snag somewhere, cause the person that takes care of that left the supplier's company, and this may have slid under the radar, but why can't they allow me to get what they KNOW I need?........what a NIGHTMARE!

EPIDURAL INJECTION [NECK]:  This has been submitted to the pain clinic:  Checking my medical charts, I find that it could take 4-6 weeks to get in there.  I am hurting like heck because of this, and my arm is sleeping and tingling, and when at the worst, it's just a LUMP of flesh that feels like a 20 pound weight:  I need to get back what I LOST, and that will help me for now.  Barring that, I would have to endure it, or have an operation, have them make a 1 inch incision to my neck, lop off the thing causing the problem, open the gap, and screw a plate to c6/c7, thereby FUSING it to C8.  If I do that, 8 weeks in a HARD C-collar, and I'm NOT gonna be able to move my neck.  I hope they rush this as fast as they can, as my patience is lessening, and inconvenience and lack of function is increasing.

These are my struggles, and I should NOT be struggling:  My Mobility is ONE thing, but the others should be easier than this:  Geeeez!

Brian

 

 

****UPDATE*** 7/18/21

Cross Trainer:  did .46 of a mile last week, with 90-110 SPM (Steps Per Minute). This last Friday, did .64/mile 90-110 SPM.  Previous weeks, did .15/mile, .25/mile. and .05/mile.

Incontinence Supplies:  Was finally able to get my Diapers PA Renewed Wednesday last week:  THIS Time, my Underpads, and boosters ARE covered:  I get 90 diapers/month, and my boosters will be 90/month as well.  Underpads will be 180 or so/month.  The Doctor's Community Health Team Specialists, Vermont Medicaid, my Supplier, and my Case Manager have been working the lines all month - I found that there was a REVENUE code, as well as wording problems with the LAST piece:  I wanted "Adult Wipes" to be covered, but they would DENY it written that way.  Home Health Case Manager talked to me, and I told her of the struggles I have had getting ALL of this stuff covered by ONE supplier, on ONE order:  She checked with her sources, who told me that if I had the requested PA for the "wipes" written that way, it would be denied:  She sent me an email that says that if wipes are needed due to incontinence issues, Medicaid WILL cover them, and requested products up to $300/month.

The "Problem" was that it HAS to be written "Personal Washcloths" - THEN, BINGO - coverage approved - That was the problem there.  My supplier and the doctor were informed of the right wording to use, and this will come in handy when we have to do this again.  Supplier told me, that as LONG as the diapers I use are covered, and they are the same PRICE as they have been, that I CAN get ANY COLOR NorthshoreCare Supply has available.  I will receive 2 packs of 40 and 1 Pack of 10, the Prevail Underpads, the Large Northshore Boosters, and when the approval is received, I WILL get the Washcloths, and I can order them from Herron and Smith (New Hampshire).

Supplies were ordered last week, so should have them this week, I imagine:  I was also able to have them order the PINK megas:  Now, I WILL be styling   This means that I can ask them to order any color I want when I order, so I can have multiple colors if I wish each order cycle.   I WIN

Contacted The Vermont Heathcare Advocate, and had a chat with him as well:  I am COVERED by Green Mountain Care (Medicaid), but NO information as to status of ANYTHING submitted on my behalf is available to ME the Consumer.  They basically tell EVERYONE to "call the doctor". Either that, or the CSR will transfer me to "Provider Services" and I, being a MEMBER, can't do anything there.  INSISTED to the paralegal that the Care Board and the Management Team allow people to get INFORMATION. and STATUS of things like I get when I login to my medical records online:  I REALLY HAMMERED the point home that I SHOULD NOT have to wait 5 months for ANY APPROVALS, and that there is a HUGE disconnect between the consumer, the medicaid system, and anyone TRYING to get anything done.  Told them that the REIMBURSEMENT rates for diapers they cover are SO LOW, that suppliers can't COMPETE with anyone, and that they ONLY allow for the CHEAPEST stuff available, when you should be able to GET plastic backed DIAPERS instead of "tabbed underwear."  Asked the guy to HAMMER the state for us, as they are NOT serving me, or answering my questions if I can't GET to someone who can take the BLOCKAGE outta the system:  I don't KNOW what they are doing, but their actions affect us all!

Walking:  Have been using prone standing frame and my walker to move around the apartment.  At PT, I do 6 runs, turning around, then returning to a chair, sit down, and then rest 2 minutes, then repeat this.  Doing well with this, but not sure if the walker I use is too heavy or if I am walking and moving it properly, so I will bring it down there with me next time, and have PT Judy Adjust it, and will add "walker skis" to replace the tennis balls.  Practicing standing behind the walker and moving across the apartment, room to room.  I also use the stander for endurance, and will increase the time soon that I use it each time I get on.

Went to Dad's yesterday for several hours.  was able to move with minimal discomfort for short distances:  I took the chair to his car, walker connected to the chair, and he took that from me, loaded it, I transferred to his car, and then took my chair inside:  THIS is how I was literally DYING when I went home last time:  I walked all that distance and was not used to it, but if I use the chair to the vehicle(s) I save myself the agony of breathing problems.  I was winded a little at Dad's but I was NOT dead:  spent One on One time with stepmom, fixing the computer, Email, Printer, and AirPrint, so that they can use the Ipads to print whatever they need.  Got a call from my  stepmom this morning:  Email problems have been fixed, and BOTH work from the machine, in case Dad or her have to print or email from the machine - problem was fixed when a character was added to the end of a password, and Spectrum techs helped her make sure that it was working on both sides   It WAS down in the afternoon, and working in the morning, so the problem was because of an outage on Spectrum.

I also spent some One on One with my Dad.  It felt good to hear what he was telling me, as with ALL of his problems, I remember my brother Richard John (My Dad goes by Rick, Ricky, or Richard).  Richard was disabled in '69 when they had an accident.  People are amazed that my Dad has had breathing problems since '69, and had nothing done until in his 70's:  My Dad shows a TOUGH persona, but I know that Dad has his concerns:  I LOVE him a LOT, and it only makes me remember that no matter how hard things in my life are, BOTH Dad and my brother Richard had it TOUGHER.  

He told me the following referring to the pulmonology doctor (He and I see the same guy):  

Doctor (to my Dad):  I did NOT fix you up so you could lounge around on the couch and waste away - I want you Up, moving around, outside and EXERCISING!"

These words mean more to me than ANYTHING mom said, because it was NOT said as a negative statement, it was NOT said in a way to make me feel like poop on my shoe, and if HE said that to my DAD: He probably would say the same for ME:  I REFUSE to give up and stop:  Next time I get a chance to login to Mychart/Epic, gonna send him a message and THANK him for those words:  I will give it 150%, and I KNOW this is what I have to do:  which is the same as @Evelyn Dellcerro told me as well:  I am so LUCKY to have him dealing with my asthma issues   and Thankful to @Evelyn Dellcerro and @Transfusionelle  for all their kind and supportive words - I could NOT do it without the support of them, and others here as well:  When you have a situation where you are TRYING to change, you NEED a kick in the ASS sometimes, and you also need someone who won't LET you fall:  I never thought I would see the day where I would be 212 pounds, but I AM, and I have the teams I need to succeed!!

Since Dad has all his machines, he has one room, and she has the master bedroom.  Dad has his suction machine on the right, next to him, a hospital table that he can use when in bed, and he has a hospital bed and his recliner.  It reminds me of a smaller version of my room.  He has an air machine he uses several times a day, and he uses it at night to help him to breathe.

I was SO happy to see him, and he showed me pics of his hospital stays in '20, his truck accident, where his curtain airbags deployed on the driver's side, and what the truck looked like outside.  I felt GOOD. because was able to spend time, and was able to listen to what Dad was saying to me, and he said that he has a new med, that is like $5,000, and it is an inject-able - for Dad's asthma:  Dad takes one dose every month for like 3-6 months, and his asthma is better controlled:  He was able to get the med covered through CVMC/UVM. so his cost WOULD have been like $1,051, but UVM is helping with this cost.  I am happy for him, and I can tell you that I felt more at home at Dad's than I did when at mom's:  this is because I wasn't made to feel like a fat slob -  I give my ALL, and I understand why some people don't like what she says to me sometimes - Dad KNOWS how hard it is to do this, and  I just have to "filter the junk" and shut it down, like my brother James told me, but its HARD sometimes, because I don't wanna cause ripples.

That's all from here for now

Brian

                                   

Edited July 18, 2021 by ~Brian~
removed whitespace/Added Bold and Underline

[feralfreak]

On 6/28/2021 at 12:17 PM, DailyDi said:

Toss up between fighting depression and dealing with a bad back (can't stand for more than 2min without extreme pain)

Really no worries as far as diapers go. I think its easier for a big guy to hide diapers as I look padded by nature

i have too much pride to admit to have that, but i do have to force myself to get the hell out of bed and its not for laziness,

 

On 6/28/2021 at 11:58 AM, Young1 said:

Whats everyones biggest daily hardships or stuggles for everyone on a day to day basis? 

Mine would be making sure im not exposed, keeping cool in my diaper, wanting to tell my close friends about me wearing, wetting while sitting or laying down. 

 

also careful with my back, through it out 2 times in 2018, have to deal with my mom not wanting to do any exercise and building up to her next cardiac event, and then her next and her next, like she doesnt care what it does to me having to watch her needing to go into the cath lab or that i shut down (she wonders why i dont eat during those times, *rolls eyes*). dont know how many times i pray to God to give me one big cardiac event, either to let her see what it feels like on the other side of the bedrail, or (and this is my preferred option) one that ends me, good bye meatsuit hello Jesus.

 

 

and occasionally making the mistake of trusting a fart.

[ValentinesStuff]

Walking, standing, and otherwise getting around with bad knees.

[Wet Knight]

On 6/28/2021 at 5:17 PM, DailyDi said:

Toss up between fighting depression and dealing with a bad back (can't stand for more than 2min without extreme pain)

Really no worries as far as diapers go. I think its easier for a big guy to hide diapers as I look padded by nature

 

Darn it.  There's an illusion shattered; your sylphlike avatar looks cute,

[Wheels]

Physically, it's dealing with the slow-downs and limitations from the paralysis of my spinal cord injury, and relying on others for a certain level of care. Overall my care is reliable, but that can change at any time. And even at its best, I'm on someone else's schedule.

My disability is odd in the way it has played such a massive role in my life in so many ways. On one hand I've dealt with too many challenges for a lifetime. On the other hand, having a spinal cord injury at 19 gave me my permanent one-way ticket into incontinence. This made it fully acceptable to live my life 24/7 in diapers, which starting from age 5 was my single most intense desire that had ever existed.

Mentally, I deal with stress of everyday thinking how much of my future will be with enough independence to still enjoy life. I try not to dwell on that of course, but it's a concern that I have.

[Crinklz Kat]

For years, I was dealing with being tired ALL THE TIME!  Had to get 10 hours "sleep" just to function!  I was falling asleep at work (in meetings too!), watching TV, etc.  At least it never happened while driving - partially because that always puts me on a higher alert level, but there were a few times it was close.  Last year after putting it off for nearly a decade I finally had a sleep study done.  Of course, it just confirmed what I already knew, but now it was an official diagnosis and got me started on treatment.  So now I'm on CPAP, and will have to sleep with that dang mask on my face for the rest of my life (unless some better treatment comes along that's covered by insurance that is). 

 

But, my current worry is that I have a broken hand -- my right hand, and I'm right handed. It's taking longer to do things, such as typing, taking a shower, even putting on a diaper! 

[Wheels]

14 minutes ago, Crinklz Kat said:

For years, I was dealing with being tired ALL THE TIME!  Had to get 10 hours "sleep" just to function!  I was falling asleep at work (in meetings too!), watching TV, etc.  At least it never happened while driving - partially because that always puts me on a higher alert level, but there were a few times it was close.  Last year after putting it off for nearly a decade I finally had a sleep study done.  Of course, it just confirmed what I already knew, but now it was an official diagnosis and got me started on treatment.  So now I'm on CPAP, and will have to sleep with that dang mask on my face for the rest of my life (unless some better treatment comes along that's covered by insurance that is). 

 

But, my current worry is that I have a broken hand -- my right hand, and I'm right handed. It's taking longer to do things, such as typing, taking a shower, even putting on a diaper! 

I hope your hand feels better soon! How is things been since using the CPAP machine? Are you getting better quality rest?

[Crinklz Kat]

8 minutes ago, Wheels said:

I hope your hand feels better soon! How is things been since using the CPAP machine? Are you getting better quality rest?

Got just over 3 more weeks with this cast... if I survive that long!

CPAP has done wonders.. still wake up throughout the night, but I feel that it's less frequent and I can get by on 7 hours comfortably.  No longer falling asleep at inopportune times either!

[DiaperboyEddie12]

For the last several years and I am talking about more then 10 years I have been dealing with this nonesense of losing control of my #2 like after I eat some food I need to be near a bathroom as I can not hold it.

What pisses me off a lot here is I like wearing khaki pants and shorts.  But when I have a accident well it is well known I messed myself.  Even when I wear jeans it can be seen that I messed myself.

I am also most days in pain.  Either back problems or a bad headache.  

I also struggle with depression and anxiety and other issues with the mind.

If I could afford to wear full time I would.  Though with my finances that sh^t not happening.  Does not mean I am not trying as I am working on a way to make the money to afford diapers and other supplies.

And I do not feel shame for wearing diapers and if someone finds out I do not care it happens.  It is my choice of underwear.

[feralfreak]

3 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

For the last several years and I am talking about more then 10 years I have been dealing with this nonesense of losing control of my #2 like after I eat some food I need to be near a bathroom as I can not hold it.

What pisses me off a lot here is I like wearing khaki pants and shorts.  But when I have a accident well it is well known I messed myself.  Even when I wear jeans it can be seen that I messed myself.

I am also most days in pain.  Either back problems or a bad headache.  

I also struggle with depression and anxiety and other issues with the mind.

If I could afford to wear full time I would.  Though with my finances that sh^t not happening.  Does not mean I am not trying as I am working on a way to make the money to afford diapers and other supplies.

And I do not feel shame for wearing diapers and if someone finds out I do not care it happens.  It is my choice of underwear.

have you tried to get your insurance to cover your diapers? if not you can get cheap ones from a place i was thinking of ordering from before mom told me she can get mine without any cost through her meds supplier(something about points being used, some kind of rewards thing), try looking at carewell.com, i saw packages of diapers for 6 bucks per bag

[DiaperboyEddie12]

45 minutes ago, feralfreak said:

have you tried to get your insurance to cover your diapers? if not you can get cheap ones from a place i was thinking of ordering from before mom told me she can get mine without any cost through her meds supplier(something about points being used, some kind of rewards thing), try looking at carewell.com, i saw packages of diapers for 6 bucks per bag

Nah I do have insurance though I would need to be first seen by a doctor for the issue.  And it will be a while before i can get back to him.

As for ol cheapo diapers that will not happen.  good premium diapers or no diapers.

[rusty pins]

20 hours ago, Crinklz Kat said:

Last year after putting it off for nearly a decade I finally had a sleep study done.  Of course, it just confirmed what I already knew, but now it was an official diagnosis and got me started on treatment.  So now I'm on CPAP, and will have to sleep with that dang mask on my face for the rest of my life (unless some better treatment comes along that's covered by insurance that is).  

 

19 hours ago, Crinklz Kat said:

CPAP has done wonders.. still wake up throughout the night, but I feel that it's less frequent and I can get by on 7 hours comfortably.  No longer falling asleep at inopportune times either!

I got a CPAP almost 3 years ago.  After 3 weeks of trying to sleep with that full face mask, I had it!  It would leak and then the air pressure would get stronger, causing the leak to worsen, etc.  It was terrible and uncomfortable!  After 3 weeks I went into the place where I got the CPAP and they recommended a pillow mask.  It goes around your face but only has a small part that fits in your nostrils.  Doesn't cover your mouth, face or anything.  This is the one I use and insurance pays for a new one every year (every 6 months depending on your insurance).  ResMed AirFit P10 Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask System | EasyBreathe.com   I'll never use anything else but this!  You will not snore, you will not breath through your mouth because it's impossible to do so!  You might want to try one.  You will be so much more comfortable sleeping!

11 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

For the last several years and I am talking about more then 10 years I have been dealing with this nonesense of losing control of my #2 like after I eat some food I need to be near a bathroom as I can not hold it.

What pisses me off a lot here is I like wearing khaki pants and shorts.  But when I have a accident well it is well known I messed myself.  Even when I wear jeans it can be seen that I messed myself.

  If I could afford to wear full time I would.  Though with my finances that sh^t not happening.  Does not mean I am not trying as I am working on a way to make the money to afford diapers and other supplies.

Ok, I know you said no cheap diapers ever, premium ones only.  You might consider Prevail, Attends or even McKession low end diapers for a couple reasons.  You can get a pack of 18 to 22 at Goodwill or Thrift stores when they have them for $3 to $4 a package, brand new sealed.  I'm not suggesting you use them all the time, but on days where you want to wear your khaki shorts out for a few hours, these would be a good protective layer between your butt and your shorts to keep those brown stains from showing.  Look at it this way.  From what you said, those brown stains show on your jeans and shorts when you mess and I surmise due to one reason.  You are not wearing a diaper, just regular underpants.  For an average of 20 cents a diaper, why not just use one for the days you would have gone out in just underpants in your khaki shorts?  You should be able to afford that, it will keep others from noticing you messed your pants, and more important, I wouldn't want to sit on a chair in a coffee shop or a park bench that you had just sat on with poo that had bled through your jeans or shorts.  It would be a lot more sanitary!  

[Crinklz Kat]

16 minutes ago, rusty pins said:

 

I got a CPAP almost 3 years ago.  After 3 weeks of trying to sleep with that full face mask, I had it!  It would leak and then the air pressure would get stronger, causing the leak to worsen, etc.  It was terrible and uncomfortable!  After 3 weeks I went into the place where I got the CPAP and they recommended a pillow mask.  It goes around your face but only has a small part that fits in your nostrils.  Doesn't cover your mouth, face or anything.  This is the one I use and insurance pays for a new one every year (every 6 months depending on your insurance).  ResMed AirFit P10 Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask System | EasyBreathe.com   I'll never use anything else but this!  You will not snore, you will not breath through your mouth because it's impossible to do so!  You might want to try one.  You will be so much more comfortable sleeping!

Yeah, the test had me using a full face mask - same results. Very annoying having a farting mask on the face!!! 

When I was issued my machine, I opted for a nasal mask - the airfit N20.  It caused some irritation at first but has been working.  I also tried both the N30 nasal mask and P30 pillow mask, but the head gear (they share the same headgear) will not stay in place on my head making it ineffective.  So I went back to the N20.  My coverage allows for every 3 months.  I'm overdue, but they have no automatic system to handle resupply.  I have to call and go pick up in person.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

 

I got a CPAP almost 3 years ago.  After 3 weeks of trying to sleep with that full face mask, I had it!  It would leak and then the air pressure would get stronger, causing the leak to worsen, etc.  It was terrible and uncomfortable!  After 3 weeks I went into the place where I got the CPAP and they recommended a pillow mask.  It goes around your face but only has a small part that fits in your nostrils.  Doesn't cover your mouth, face or anything.  This is the one I use and insurance pays for a new one every year (every 6 months depending on your insurance).  ResMed AirFit P10 Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask System | EasyBreathe.com   I'll never use anything else but this!  You will not snore, you will not breath through your mouth because it's impossible to do so!  You might want to try one.  You will be so much more comfortable sleeping!

Ok, I know you said no cheap diapers ever, premium ones only.  You might consider Prevail, Attends or even McKession low end diapers for a couple reasons.  You can get a pack of 18 to 22 at Goodwill or Thrift stores when they have them for $3 to $4 a package, brand new sealed.  I'm not suggesting you use them all the time, but on days where you want to wear your khaki shorts out for a few hours, these would be a good protective layer between your butt and your shorts to keep those brown stains from showing.  Look at it this way.  From what you said, those brown stains show on your jeans and shorts when you mess and I surmise due to one reason.  You are not wearing a diaper, just regular underpants.  For an average of 20 cents a diaper, why not just use one for the days you would have gone out in just underpants in your khaki shorts?  You should be able to afford that, it will keep others from noticing you messed your pants, and more important, I wouldn't want to sit on a chair in a coffee shop or a park bench that you had just sat on with poo that had bled through your jeans or shorts.  It would be a lot more sanitary!  

I have worn the cheap depends attends and also tranquilty ATN diapers and they do not hold the amount of mess I create.  Though premium diapers do hold the amount I produce.  I have a stock of diapers right now so I am good for right now.

[Dubious]

I often don't go out cause my diaper is too dry, but too wet to go out, but not wet enough to change.