LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store
GirlyGirl

Feeling Alone

Recommended Posts

So I was dating this guy for about a year. After a couple months he told me about him being a DL. I found this site and it really helped me understand everything and I was able to feel comfortable about what he was into.

I told him I would give it a try just to see how he felt using it. The first time I ever wore it took me hours to use it, but he wouldn't let me out of it until I did... Which kinda excited me to be honest.

Flash forward a couple months and I've worn a couple times and we even bought me some pink ones that I loved!

I was starting to feel really open with him about all of this and opened up to him saying how I enjoyed wearing.

Flash forward some more and we broke up. We broke up because I couldn't give him what he wanted even though I was giving him everything I had, but it wasn't enough.

All in all he wanted someone he never had to talk to unless he wanted to hook up and I couldn't do that. not to myself. I deserve better.

I didn't realize that once I lost him though I would lose this too... I know technically I can do this stuff on my own. But I haven't accepted that part of me yet.

I was helping him open up about it and he was helping me realize that liking something different is okay.

I can't even think about doing that stuff again without breaking down while thinking of him. So how can I do something I want to do but hurts me at the same time?

I just miss him, and I hate it. 

I want to feel the comfort of wearing again but it just hurts at the same time.

Share this post


Link to post

One suggestion I have that may, or may not, work for you is to wear while doing something you enjoy.  I have major depression and a while back I hated my DL side and was disgusted with myself.  I almost came close to throwing out all the diapers I had stashed away.  But I remembered the joy I had while wearing and didn't want to let that disappear.  So every so often I would put on a diaper and do something I loved, for me that was video games.  As I continued to wear while gaming my outlook on being a DL improved.  I no longer focused on being a DL, I just enjoyed what I enjoy.  Now I've accepted my DL side and no longer associate negativity with wearing.  I hope things get better for you and you can wear for fun again.

Share this post


Link to post

I don't have much I enjoy doing right now. I did enjoy gaming, but he has our gaming system so that's out of the question. Maybe I just gotta find everything new. Or maybe nothing will change. I struggle with depression as while and its just been a bumpy road since then.

Share this post


Link to post

First and foremost I am sorry to hear that your relationship ended.  From the sound of things you were giving your all to be an accepting and loving partner particularly in regards to wearing diapers.  Often times to include myself, people are selfish when it comes to their desire to wear diapers.  Babies need all the attention and sometimes so do big babies.  A diaper fetish can quickly take control of a relationship and end it before it begins if there is no communication and understanding.

With that said you are right when you said you deserve better.  He will soon find out how difficult it is to replace someone like you.  Meanwhile he gave you a gift by opening your horizons to something new and exciting.  Diapers are powerful for so many of us in such different ways.  By leaving he has left you with a coping mechanism to forget about him and move on.  

In time the big baby may realize he needs you in his life and come crying back wet diaper and all.  Or you honestly may be better off with out him.  I would not give up on your diaper desires though. If you give up the good feelings you felt when diapered because of him then he wins and that simply is not fair to you.  

Share this post


Link to post

I wish I knew what to tell you.   Like others have said, breakups are rough.   If you are younger, it's probably one of your first break-ups, which only makes those mood shifts even more drastic.

Personally, I think you made a good first step.  You opened up and talked about it.   For the most part, this is a safe place and we are willing to offer an ear.  It sounds like you're going through the stages of mourning, which is not necessarily related to the little behavior.  You found solace in the little behavior that you were introduced by your boyfriend but there is still that connection between him and diapers.   You can't help but think of him when you think of diapers.

I would say your first priority is to process the break-up.   If you understand the stages of grief, you can understand where you are in the process.   This is normal and it takes as long as it takes.   Once you process that, the answer to the whole diaper issue may answer it.   If you are like many of us, you may have tapped into something that was hidden in your psyche.   For me it wasn't hidden that well, because I started feeling those things when I was five.   To deny it would be like denying food.      If that the case, at some point the desire to wear will be strong, and you will wear.   If it's just something that you enjoyed as part of your relationship than that desire won't return and you will move on to something else.

Good luck

Share this post


Link to post

In my opinion you first have to get over him before you can do anything. The truth is diapers and him are infused in your mind right now if one is brought up the other is attatched. Once you move on then you can deal with the pain of being reminded but once you start loving yourself again and if you truly like diapers everything will be okay :)

 

harsh but critical 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I went through something similar when I got divorced many years ago. Not worth going into details, but it was tough and like you it just hurt to really think about or do much diaper stuff for a while. The solution for me was time. Time to process everything and get over the hurt etc etc. 

Be gentle and kind to yourself. Give it time. You may find a way to enjoy it again with time.

Personally, I've been in a few relationships that introduced me to new "bedroom games" or whatever you wanna call it, like you were with diapers. I managed to successfully carry on with the ones I liked as I moved into new relationships.

 

Share this post


Link to post

work on your mental health for a while and get happier and then re-introduce diapers and see if its still somthing you enjoy. stay on this site talk with people make friends and just see what happens  thats all you can really do

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I can empathize with you a lot, as I had a similar experience with my ex. She introduced me to a lot of stuff I hadn’t considered before, like cosplay and going to comic conventions. When we broke up, it stung for a while, and I didn’t have the desire to do that stuff anymore.

It took some time, but I realized that I could still have a lot of fun and enjoy that stuff without her around (to be honest, I have more fun without her than I did with her), and it didn’t ruin the experience for me.

It’s okay to take a break from something you like, in this case diapers, and get yourself better. You can still visit here though. I know the site is primarily ABDL-related, but even then, we still all have hobbies and interests outside of ABDL that we talk about here.

The other thing is you’re in a really good community here. One bad apple does not spoil the whole bunch, and I can guarantee you that there are tons of people here who would be more than happy to help you out, talk, chat, and do whatever to help you feel better. You might even make some friends!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
On 9/14/2018 at 2:02 AM, punk18 said:

 diapers and him are infused in your mind right now if one is brought up the other is attatched.

This exactly. You can break that attachment if you want to, but for right now focus your energies on getting the rest of your life back on course. Then later on when feelings aren't as strong you can come back to this if you wish as it will always be here. All things in time and needs over wants 😉

Bettypooh

Share this post


Link to post

Before you decide that you want to be in diapers, ask yourself why and make sure you really want it. I can't speak for everyone here, but when I go for very long without I start craving, and it would be great if I could choose whether I wanted to wear or not, but unfortunately that ship has sailed and I can't go more than a few days before cravings set in. If you do decide to start wearing regularly, make sure to maintain good hygiene. 

I don't know what kind of games you're into, but you can find some decent PC games online for free. Last month I downloaded Neverwinter (It's D&D) and if you like trading card games I know Magic the Gathering is still beta testing MTGArena, and it's easy to get in on that if you are interested. Otherwise you can download some fun games on your phone and give those a try, if you're patient enough to make it through the damn ads. 

Share this post


Link to post

Sounds like my dream girlfriend...  ^_^

Share this post


Link to post

I know the feeling. I been dealing with anxiety and depression myself. I finally am divorced which helps with that But I am still lonely. I do love playing Pokémon go. Helps with stress because in my current situation I can wear my diapers like i want to. Hang in there and I will pray for you

Share this post


Link to post
On 9/13/2018 at 7:57 PM, GirlyGirl said:

So I was dating this guy for about a year. After a couple months he told me about him being a DL. I found this site and it really helped me understand everything and I was able to feel comfortable about what he was into.

I told him I would give it a try just to see how he felt using it. The first time I ever wore it took me hours to use it, but he wouldn't let me out of it until I did... Which kinda excited me to be honest.

Flash forward a couple months and I've worn a couple times and we even bought me some pink ones that I loved!

I was starting to feel really open with him about all of this and opened up to him saying how I enjoyed wearing.

Flash forward some more and we broke up. We broke up because I couldn't give him what he wanted even though I was giving him everything I had, but it wasn't enough.

All in all he wanted someone he never had to talk to unless he wanted to hook up and I couldn't do that. not to myself. I deserve better.

I didn't realize that once I lost him though I would lose this too... I know technically I can do this stuff on my own. But I haven't accepted that part of me yet.

I was helping him open up about it and he was helping me realize that liking something different is okay.

I can't even think about doing that stuff again without breaking down while thinking of him. So how can I do something I want to do but hurts me at the same time?

I just miss him, and I hate it. 

I want to feel the comfort of wearing again but it just hurts at the same time.

You aint lost nothing. You didn't lose him. You removed a toxic element from your life. This was not a win lose situation for you, but a healthy not healthy situation. Congratulations, you made the healthy choice.

As to the diaper stuff, I think you have accepted it, you just are unsure how to feel about it or want someone else to tell you it is ok. Otherwise you would not of sought out this site. You are at the very least questioning, and are maybe avoiding it because you are conflicted over your ex. What I tell people in regards to Exs... "Feck em!" you broke up, why should they have any control over your life now, or influence, etc... Us girls like to do this to ourselves. We create these stupid rules in our head on how a breakup should go, and yadda yadda. Do you think men torture themselves this way? Sure, they might grieve and be sad over the end of a relationship, but none of them look at things they enjoyed and go, "Whelp, I broke up, I guess I can't do X anymore because she liked it and got me into it." 

My first boyfriend got me into Star Wars... I don't sit there when watching a Star Wars film thinking about him, I just enjoy Star Wars. 

Wear, and when you think about him, just remember, he was terrible for you at the time. He wanted something different from the relationship and that difference had become toxic enough that you wanted out. You took care of yourself, and you should be proud of the fact that you made a hard choice to improve yourself, a choice that many women actively get criticized for. So when you wear a diaper, instead of thinking of him, let them remind you of the strength you have that allowed you to leave toxic situation, let them remind you that you are an independent women who is more than a boyfriend and more than a booty call. 

Strap on that diaper because you want to, not because he wants you too, and enjoy it for you, not for anyone else.
 

Share this post


Link to post

Actually a ex girlfriend ruined a few shows for me because we watched them together hell even songs we liked I can't listen to. So it's not just a girl thing as ghost girl seems to think. I hope it gets better for you don't let one guy run everything. I honestly enjoy my time alone because most people suck at this point.

Share this post


Link to post
4 minutes ago, Comfortably diapered said:

Actually a ex girlfriend ruined a few shows for me because we watched them together hell even songs we liked I can't listen to. So it's not just a girl thing as ghost girl seems to think. I hope it gets better for you don't let one guy run everything. I honestly enjoy my time alone because most people suck at this point.

Yep the song  that was special to me and the ex I can’t stand anymore 

Share this post


Link to post
39 minutes ago, Comfortably diapered said:

Actually a ex girlfriend ruined a few shows for me because we watched them together hell even songs we liked I can't listen to. So it's not just a girl thing as ghost girl seems to think. I hope it gets better for you don't let one guy run everything. I honestly enjoy my time alone because most people suck at this point.

Yaay condescension!

Anyways, I was not implying that men don't suffer similar things, however, using your example, you do seem to saying you can't stand etc.. and you suggest there is anger.

Women struggle with this stuff because we feel shame. We are trained to assume we did something wrong, and when we are reminded of a relationship, we end up feeling less of a person, like if we had tried harder, we would be fine, and we just run through a list of crap we felt we did wrong.

The entire post I wrote was about being positive with her choice, that it was a choice to improve her life, and that it was a healthy choice. 

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now