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Chapter 19 “So did you try it?” Molly asked as soon as she got me alone in the theater room. I had been at her house for the past few hours, but our time had been spent with Alice over breakfast, then a couple of hours of morning television before finally being sent away so Alice could write in peace. “Try what?” I asked naively, but pretty sure I knew the topic. “What I told you to do.” She added with feigned annoyance. “Does it matter?” I added, rolling my eyes. “Does anything fucking matter?” She poked back with actual annoyance now. “No, I guess not. And I did.” I said, finally admitting defeat in changing the subject. “Did it work?” She asked, now nearly giddy. “It wasn’t as bad, I guess.” I said, embarrassed that I was admitting it. “Good.” She said playfully as we both settled in the comfy recliners. I pulled a blanket from the back of the chair and tossed it over me, the cool air in the room and the cold leather from the chair was sending shivers up my spine and the skirt and shirt Steve had dressed me in this morning weren’t any defense against the temperature. “What are we playing?” I asked as I settled in. “I wish I could have been there.” She said quickly as she pulled a blanket over her as well. “Where?” I asked. “With you, when you did it.” She said. I paused and gave her a strange look, confused more than ever by her. “I’m sorry, but I want to see you do it.” She said unapologetically. “It’s… it’s hot to think about.” “Well, I guess at least one of us thinks so.” I mumbled as I turned away from her. “I don’t see how. It’s fucked up.” I could see her face flush as we spoke, she was really enjoying the discussion and I could tell by her mannerisms that she was getting turned on by talking about it. “I already told you… I’m weird and get turned on by weird things. Deal with it.” She said. “I’m well aware of how weird you are, no need to remind me.” I said back, only half kidding. “But really, what are we playing?” “Skyrim.” She said, then directed her attention at the screen. I could tell she was a little upset that I didn’t want to talk to her about it, she was actively pouting as the screen flickered on and off. We sat silently as the game booted up and I realized just how upset she was when she pulled up her first saved game, not the one we played together last time. She played it silently and explored one of the houses she had built, completely ignoring me as I looked over at her. “Okay, you win.” I said as she beat up a bandit that was prowling around the house. “I win what?” She asked without looking over at me. “We can talk about… it.” I said. She paused the game, the screen darkening the already dark room significantly. She pulled her leg up into the chair and pivoted to face me. “Can you please… please start knocking these walls down?” She asked bluntly. “I… I…” I stammered. “You just need to stop. I don’t know what or who you think I am, but I’m not.” She said. “Fine. You know what? I have a crush on you. You get it now? You think I like you seeing me like this? That’s bad enough. But do you really think I want to talk to you about that other stuff as well? Openly? Of course not. You can’t like someone like me back, you can’t. That’s why I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” I shot back, nearly in tears. She sat silently for a moment, the flickering of the pause screen casting a soft glow against her face. “I like you too.” She finally said. “But… but I like you like this. I like you how you are now. I like this.” I shot a look back, a tear finally tracing down my cheek. “You seriously want to hear about me doing thing with someone else when you like me too? You want me dressed like this? I don’t fucking get it.” I asked in disbelief. “Yes. I do. Nothing about any of this is normal heterosexual stuff, so why are you so surprised about that? You think I can’t like you like this, but I like you because of this. I’m sorry if that’s weird, but I do. So there.” She replied back forcefully. We sat silently for a moment, long enough for the PlayStation to assume we weren’t interested in playing any more and passing itself into standby mode. “You’ve got some weird thoughts in your head, don’t you?” I asked. “Yeah.” She chuckled. “Yeah…” I replied. “So… you gonna do a mage play through next?” “No.” She replied. “But this is cool, right? We are?” “I mean, I guess as cool as we can be for a guy that has a crush on a girl but the girl wants to hear about the guy sucking another guy off. Yeah, I guess.” I replied. “Yeah. Good.” She said with a smile. “So you did.” “Yeah.” I sighed. I went on to discuss the evening. I could tell by the color on her face, obvious even in the dim light, that she was aroused by my descriptions. I was mortified to be saying it aloud, but it actually felt good to be able to discuss it openly. We both jumped when the door opened without announcement, and both shielded our eyes from the comparatively bright light cast in from the hallway. My eyes adjusted slowly, but I was able to recognize Mark’s silhouette against the light. He slowly entered just to the door, then stopped and leaned his shoulder against the door frame. “Hi, sweetie.” He said quietly. “Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were back yet.” Molly said quickly, seemingly caught off guard by his presence. “Just got in, actually.” He responded with some annoyance, I assume he wanted more fanfare on his return. “Why don’t you come help me out really quick, sweetie. It’s been a long week.” I could see the disappointment on Molly’s face, but she didn’t resist his polite command. She stood and walked past me without speaking, then they both exited from view. I resumed her game, unsure of what else I could do in the moment and was quickly defeated by a giant after wandering too close to his camp. “All by your lonesome in here, huh?” Alice said, cutting through the quiet with razor precision. “Oh, uh. Yeah.” I mumbled back while pausing the game quickly like I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing. “You two and this game… I just don’t understand it. Every time I sit in here with Molly, she’s just making someone run for miles on there. I don’t see what the fun in that is.” She sighed as she watched the pause screen put a rotating focus on our beefy Nordic character. “Escapism, I guess.” I mumbled, placing the controller on Molly’s chair. “Escapism?” She scoffed. “What do either of you need to escape from? What could possibly be stressful about this?” She said, gesturing around her. I didn’t respond, just lowered my eyes to the floor and tried to keep from speaking. “Escapism… for goodness sake. The only thing you need to escape from right now is a wet diaper. Let’s go get you changed.” She said seemingly annoyed. I knew better than to push back, so slid from the chair and walked toward her. She motioned me ahead and followed close behind. I had an uncomfortable feeling as she followed me, almost like being hunted. We walked down the hall, through the atrium, and down the next hall that led to Molly’s room. I could feel the wet diaper sway slightly as I walked, something I’m sure Alice was enjoying as she thought about the control she had over me. I pushed on the door to Molly’s room and began to make my way over to the changing table, but jumped as I realized that Mark was sitting in the rocking chair with his head back and eyes closed. My eyes quickly fixed on Molly’s body kneeled in front of him. I couldn’t see her head from my angle, but there was no doubt in my mind where it was. “Oh, well there you all are.” Alice said with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice, pushing me along to the changing table. Both of them looked up quickly. Mark smiled slyly and Molly’s gaze moved quickly from Alice to me, then back to Alice. She had a look of betrayal on her face, no doubt upset that I was a witness to her current situation. Without speaking, Mark put his right hand to the back of Molly’s head, encircling her pony tail with his thumb and finger, then pulled her head back down to his crotch. She missed his cock with her mouth as he pulled and had to reposition to wrap her lips around it. Her eyes were closed tightly as if it would cause her to become invisible. “Well that’s a shame…” Mark said annoyed. “I was almost there.” “We’ll only be a moment.” Alice said, matching his annoyance. She lifted me from the floor and onto the changing table, then pushed me down with a firm hand on my chest. She lifted the hem of the dress up over my belly, then pulled the tights down to my knees. Without a word she untaped the soggy diaper and pulled it from beneath me, balled it up, and tossed it into the bin next to the table. I had my eyes closed as well, maybe also trying to become invisible in the moment, but opened them when I didn’t feel the diaper change progressing as normal. Alice had what I can only call an ‘Alice smile’ on her face while looking over her shoulder at Mark and Molly. “Addy… how would you feel about getting this little chastity cage off and letting your little dick breathe for a while? I’m sure Molly wouldn’t mind helping you out as well.” She said loudly, ensuring Molly could hear her as well. I quickly turned my head and watched as Molly stopped moving. This lasted maybe two seconds before Mark guided her back into motion with his hand. Mark opened his eyes, curious to see my reaction to Alice’s proposal. Both looked at the dread on my face and smiled. “Steve doesn’t have to know, baby. It’ll be our secret.” She added, nearly licking her lips with excitement. She took her hand and gently wiggled the cage in place, it’s tight confines transferring the sensation to my sensitive cock head. I shuddered at her touch. “I bet Molly would love your little dick in her mouth. Well, again, I guess.” Alice laughed. I could see Mollys face scrunch, most definitely not enjoying the offers being made on her behalf. Mark, however, did seem to be enjoying the talk as his face began to contort in pleasure. “You would like that, wouldn’t you baby? You want to let your little friend suck out your cummies?” Alice said as she gripped firmly at my scrotum. “Oh, God!“ Mark yelled loudly, then began to grunt loudly. His torso jetted forward, and his hands both pressed firmly at the back of Molly’s head. Her body seemed to relax for a moment, I could hear her breathing deeply through her nose. I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. A few seconds later she pulled her head off of Mark’s crotch, a long trail of saliva and cum stretched from the head of his cock to her bottom lip. I could see tears in her eyes as she looked over to us. Alice stuck her hand out towards her. “Come here, little one.” She called out. Molly wiped her face with the back of her hand and stood, then slowly walked over to Alice as she smoothed out her shirt and wiped at a wet spot on her chest. She tried to avert her gaze from me, but as she approached my naked lower half, I don’t think she could. I don’t think Molly had seen me like this since the chastity cage was put on. She looked at it with sympathy on her face, no doubt confused as to how I could tolerate something so medieval. “We’re going to give Addy the choice… if she wants, we’re going to take this off and you’ll help her out just like you did your daddy. Do you understand?” Alice told Molly. Molly nodded with defeat. Both then focused their attention on me. I noticed that Mark had now redressed and was focusing on his phone as he left the room quietly, ignoring my plight since he got what he came for. “So, baby… do you want me to get that uncomfortable little cage off of you? You want Molly to suck on your little cock? I bet it’s been a while since Steve let you cum so you’ve earned it, right?” She said, one hand wrapped around the cage and the other gripping the back of Molly’s neck. I looked at Molly’s face, and although she wasn’t looking at me, I could see that she was just wanting to get this over with, no doubt in her mind that I’d be able to resist a blowjob. I shook my head slowly. “Well aren’t you just the sweetest.” She said with a grin. “Molly, I think someone has a little crush on you.” Molly’s face relaxed in relief. “You can’t say I never gave you the choice.” Alice said to me as she released the cage from her hand. “Molly, finish up for me.” Alice added, backing away. Molly slowly moved to my side, now between Alice and myself and mouthed ‘Thank you’ without a sound. “Go on, now.” Alice quipped. Molly reached below the table and grabbed one of the diapers, then unfolded it. I lifted to help, hoping to get this over with as quick as possible. Molly lined it up, then pressed lightly at my hip to bring my butt down on the pillowy diaper. “Wipes and powder.” Alice said, watching closely. Molly reached below the table again and came back with two baby wipes. I couldn’t help but notice she had a very slight smile on her face, and judging from our conversation, she was enjoying this moment. She carefully wiped my crotch all over, then lightly dusted me with sweet smelling powder. She then brought up the front of the diaper and secured the two Velcro strips into place, snugly fastening the diaper onto me. I dropped from the table on my own, neither Molly or I saying anything to the other. “Well that was all fun. You two can go play your stupid game again.” Alice said, turning to leave now that her evil streak had been satisfied. Molly and I walked slowly back to the theater room and took our seats again, resuming the game without so much as a sound. A few minutes later, I finally broke the silence. “So you enjoyed that, huh?” I asked, full knowing what her answer was. “I…” she started, but only broke out in a smile when she realized I wasn’t overly upset. “I guess everyone has a thing.” I said back. “Thanks for not making me do that.” She replied quickly. “It’s not that… it’s not that I wouldn’t or… it’s not you. You know? It’s just another thing they do to remind me of where I fall in line in all of this shit. Like they have to keep reminding me.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “It’s the hierarchy. You know, the pecking order for their club. It’s a reminder to me that I’m at the bottom.” She replied. “…how?” I asked, confused. “You’re a boy. That’s the way it is.” She answered. I looked at her confused. “Is this like a real thing or just… like… a you thing?” I asked, fumbling on my words. “No, it’s real.” She responded. She paused the game again and raised her eyes into the nothingness on the ceiling. “For the owners, it’s about seniority and money. The longer you’ve been in the quote-unquote club, the earlier you get dibs on stuff. Planes, cars, houses, vacations, whatever it is. They get the first swipe at it and if they don’t want it, it goes to the next in line.” She started. “As far as the yous and mes of the club, it goes by gender and seniority. In that order. So if you’re a boy and your big let’s you be a boy, you’re first. If you’re a boy but you’re kept as a girl, you’re second. Then come actual girls.” She paused. “What?” I asked, confused. “Okay, so if Steve kept you as a boy, then you’d be like a… like a senior in high-school. Then it breaks down within that by how many years you’ve been in. So the most senior boy… boy is on top. Then it would be boy-girls by seniority. Then girls. Does that make more sense?” She asked. “Yeah, I guess.” I replied. “So Alice just wants to remind me from time to time that, even though I’ve been here for a year and you just got here, I’m supposed to be subservient to you. And you’d be subservient to any little that was a boy-boy even if they just got here. It’s the order.” She said. “Okay. Weird, but okay.” I said back. “It’s all stupid and sexist, but whatever. Just… thank you for not making me do that in front of them, that’s all.” She said as she unpaused them game and continued attacking a dragon. “You’re welcome.” I said back after a moment. “But… like, why does that even matter?” “The order?” She asked, then continued without my confirmation. “It’s for the group stuff, if we go to any. If there are other little there, it’s supposed to help establish the rules. Who’s in charge, who gets to do what. Stuff like that. If your big has you listed as available, then littles that are above you and all bigs you can make you do stuff if they want.” “What stuff?” I asked, but was pretty sure I knew the answer. “Whatever your big will allow. If someone above you isn’t in chastity and wants head, you give it to them. If your big allows it and they want to fuck you, you do it. Or it may mean getting them drinks or food, letting them have something you’re using, or picking the movie to watch. They pretty much get what they want and you can’t stop it.” She said matter of factly. “Fortunately, most bigs don’t allow unrestricted access to their littles so most of the time that won’t happen.” I looked at her with disbelief on my face. “Don’t worry, Steve thinks you’re much too precious to open you up to anyone but him. You’re well protected.” She added. This did relax me a little bit, but still made my stomach churn. “Can you go get me a drink?” I replied after a moment, teasing. “Oh, you can go down the hall past the atrium and fuck yourself if you think I’m gonna let you tell me what to do.” She replied sweetly. “Okay, okay. I’m kidding!” I laughed back. “Are you actually thirsty?” She asked a moment later, serious now. “No, I’m fine.” I said back. “Okay, good. I’ll get you a drink because I like you, but not because of their idiotic rules.” She replied. “Noted, thank you but I’m okay.” I added. We played Skyrim for a few more hours, both taking turns at exploring. We were really hunting for more masks, but just walking around their simulated wilderness together was fun. Eventually Alice came to the door and said Steve was almost here and that I needed to get my stuff together. I did so, then hugged Molly bye and made my way to the foyer to wait for him to arrive. I jumped quickly into the SUV when he pulled around the circle and buckled in. “How was your day, baby?” He asked seemingly absent. “Oh, uh… it was fine.” I replied. We drive home largely silent. I followed him into the kitchen when we got home and sat quietly as he sent dozens of text messages one after another. Eventually he looked up at me with remorse on his face. “I’m sorry, there’s a lot going on at work right now and it’s got me distracted.” He said. “Oh, it’s okay.” I said quietly. “Why don’t we order in. I need to go send some emails and put some things in motion.” He said, getting up. “Oh, yeah. You probably need changed again. Let’s go.” I followed him for what was, to date, the most efficient and mechanical diaper change I’ve had, then he disappeared into his office. I grabbed my cellphone from the bedside table and powered it on and laid down on the bed. I got an odd feeling as I caught my reflection in the black loading screen, and could see the pink fluffs from the dress I was wearing. I was disappointed that I had no missed calls, no texts, and only spam emails. I’d been away from my normal life for a week now and not a soul had reached out. I watched YouTube for a little while, and browsed Reddit then walked to the office to ask when dinner was arriving. Steve was punching away at his keyboard and didn’t look up as I walked in. “Umm… do you know when the food will be here? My stomach is growling like crazy.” I said quietly, trying to not startle him. He looked at me blankly for a few seconds. “Shit. I was supposed to order food, wasn’t I?” He said, angry at his forgetfulness. “I’ll do it now.” He pulled out his phone and pulled up GrubHub, then placed a repeat order from The Tavern. “30 minutes, honey. I’m sorry.” He said. “Oh, it’s fine.” I replied, but stood where I was. His attention went back to his keyboard and monitors. “Are you okay?” I asked him quietly. He didn’t divert his eyes from the monitor. “Yeah, just… work stuff.” He replied. “Stressful work stuff. Nothing to concern yourself with.” “Okay.” I said quietly. I turned to leave and resume scrolling through my phone in the bedroom, but I instead found myself walking towards him. I rounded his desk, him paying no attention to me, knelt down near his chair, then crawled under his desk and between his legs. “What are you… baby… you don’t need to do that now.” He said sounding a little surprised. “I know. Can I though?” I asked softly. “I mean, I won’t say no.” He replied and fumbled with his zipper then went back to typing. I pulled his soft cock through the fly of his boxer shorts, then out of his pants. Even soft it seemed bigger than mine ever was hard. I had to be careful with how much I moved my head, I didn’t have much space between his crotch and the top of the desk. I tried to angle myself more out than up, and that worked for a bit but as I gently kissed and licked at his soft cock, it firmed up and made that angle difficult. I repositioned myself closer to his chair and pushed my head down on his cock, then moved my head up between his lap and the desk. Like this, I had the head of his cock still in my mouth when the back of my head hit the underside of the desk. This was going to be tougher than I thought. The rhythmic clicking of the keyboard didn’t slow at all as I maneuvered myself into place, his cock firmly lodged into my mouth without the ability to easily pull it back out. I slowly and carefully started to move my head up and down as much as I could, tapping on the underside of the desk with the back of my head nearly each time I moved up. It was difficult to move my tongue around the head of his cock with it so deep, and I wasn’t able to easily focus my efforts on the sensitive bits. I kept my pace slow and decided that, even if he didn’t cum from it, I’d at least make it pleasurable and hopefully ease some of the stress and anxiety he was experiencing, or at least easing his mind from whatever it was for a bit. I slowly moved up and down, up and down, up and down over and over again for what felt like an eternity. He had been typing feverishly and had already made two phone calls that went unanswered. At this point, I was sore and tired and wasn’t even sure he knew I was there. I froze with him in my mouth as his phone rang. I kept my head still but suckled lightly on his cock head as I tried to listen in on the conversation. I couldn’t quite make our the words of the caller, but Steve began to sound relieved as he responded to the questions being posed. Whatever crisis was happening seems to have been averted and the team seemed to be standing down. Steve ended the phone call and tossed his phone down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. This repositioned the front of the chair up a bit which caused his cock to push deeper into my mouth. I tried to prevent it, but my head slammed decently hard into the underside of the desk again, enough to smart pretty good. Steve pushed the chair out from the desk when he heard this, which popped his cock from my mouth with a very wet slurp. “You are such a good little princess for your daddy, aren’t you little one? I really appreciate you trying to help.” He said with a radiant smile steeped in relief. “Everything’s okay?” I asked while still cramped under the desk. “It will be, sweetie. The hard part is over, the attack team has it from here.” He said reassuringly. “Okay, good. I’m glad.” I said back, beginning to climb out. He didn’t move much more, which was obstructing my exit. I looked up at him and knew his expression. I shimmied back up to his lap and took his dick back into my mouth and, now that I was clear from the desk, gave him a proper blowjob. A few minutes later, I was greeted by a loud grunt and a few strong blasts of cum to the roof of my mouth. I sucked my cheeks in and pulled the remainder out, then swallowed it down without so much as a gag. I was catching on now. He stood and tucked himself back into his pants, then helped me up onto my feet. My neck was stiff and my knees hurt from the hardwood floor, but he helped me out of the office and back into the bedroom. Steve stripped down out of his suit, then started the shower while I watched from the edge of the bed. He walked back over to me and lifted the pink dress over my head and tossed it onto the bed, then pulled my tights down and off. I stood in front of him in the dry diaper, his masculinity seeming to laugh at my childish femininity, then popped a kiss on my forehead. He left me nearly naked then turned to walk into the large shower. “So how was your day?” He called out, now less distracted. “Fine.” I yelled back, then walked into the bathroom to better speak with him. “Pretty much the same as usual.” I didn’t want to being up anything about Alice. Honestly, she was a small price to pay to spend time with Molly and I didn’t want to ruin that. I was about to ask him about the hierarchy thing that Molly told me about to see what he would say, but was interrupted by the loud ring of the doorbell. “Oh, shit. Food.” Steve said as he paused lathering his hair. I looked at him, half expecting him to jump from the shower to go to the door, but he didn’t. “You’re gonna have to get it.” He said after a second, noticing I wasn’t moving. “What? I can’t like this!” I said quickly. “Well, no. Normal people don’t answer the door in their underwear either. Throw an overcoat on or something. Mine is in the closet by the door.” He said back. I groaned loud enough for him to hear, then walked quickly down the hallway clad in only the diaper, then threw the closet door open and put the overcoat on. It dwarfed me, but covered everything that it needed to. I clicked the lock on the massive front door and pulled it in, the frigid air biting hard on my face. The delivery driver had us head down and collar up high to protect himself from the wind, and handed the plastic bags over quickly. “Thanks.” I said, turning back to the atrium. “Hey, is your name Adam?” The driver called out. I felt my heart plummet in my chest as the driver lifted his head more and gave me a clear look at his face. It took me a moment to place him, but recalled him from my high school English class. “Yeah, hey!” I said, faking excitement. “Chris?” “Yeah, man! You live here?! This place is nuts!” He exclaimed. “Yeah, well for now. Yeah.” I clumsy added. “That’s so awesome! You heard about Sarah?” He asked without a moment of hesitation. “Yeah. Sucks.” I said back, really wanting to close the door and escape from an awkward situation. “No doubt, no doubt. You all were a thing so that must really blow. Anyways, nice house. I’ll stop by for the tour sometime!” He said. “Cool man, have a good one.” I responded, then closed the door quickly and locked it tight. I walked slowly to the kitchen still in the heavy coat and placed the food down on the table. Steve came out a moment later in his pajamas and pulled the coat from my shoulders, then guided me into the seat next to his. “You’ve got such a sexy little body, I wanna see you in just your diaper for a while.” He said with a smirk. “The delivery driver knew me from my school.” I said, ignoring his comment. “Oh, no. He didn’t see you like this did he?” He asked. “No, but he thinks I live here now.” I replied. Steve paused for a moment, then added “you do.” I guess that realization hadn’t quite hit me yet. I did live here. This was my life now. We ate our food, and after another diaper change, this one much warmer than the last, went to bed. Tomorrow was another day.

Chapter 4: Amazon Love in Dimensions – LittleFallenPrincess As soon as I saw the Amazon walk through the enormous portal, I leapt off the sofa and ran for my life. ‘No way she’s catching me!’ I thought to myself as my heart was beating a mile a minute. ‘I like being Alex’s little... but I’d hate to have it forced upon me. I’m sure this place has places I can hide. I mean... she can barely fit in the sanctum... she can’t get through the doorways!’ So I ran towards the nearest doorway, which looked to be the kitchen. My shoes slipped on the wooden floor as I ran as quickly as I could for a safe place to hide. “PAIGE!” I heard from behind me. No. Can’t stop and look back now. I need to hide. Diving behind a kitchen counter, I leant back, crouching down so I was out of view of that... monster. “Paige... where are you?” I heard from behind me. Noelle popped her head around the corner and looked at me. “Paige... what the hell?” “She... she’s an amazon... she’ll adopt... she...” “You really are scared of them, aren’t you?” she asked, sitting down next to me and placing her hand on my leg. “I... I’ve heard the horror stories. She’s not taking me.” I replied. “But we told you, she’s just a variation of Alexandria. She’s nice! I promise!” “I... no... Amazons aren’t nice. Or at least they pretend to be... then they shove you in a nursery and you’re never heard from again...” Noelle grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I promise you, Charlie won’t do that. She’s like the nicest person ever, although she can be a bit of a tease sometime. Which apparently seems to be another reoccurring trait between variations of her. Lemme guess, Alexandria loves to tease you?” “I...” My heart was slowing down. “Umm, I mean... yeah. She does.” “See! She’s just a really tall version of Alex. I promise you. Have a look if you don’t believe me...” I turned around and slowly peeked over the kitchen counter towards the doorway. And sat down with her legs crossed on the other side of the kitchen... was... no... she looked like Alex... but bigger. But... she had the same smile I had seen countless times on my wife before. She had the exact same smile that I loved. The same freckles. But her hair was ginger, instead of blonde. Whilst not as strong as the bond I felt with Alex... I could feel a connection with Charlotte... something telling me I could trust her... that... we were... connected somehow. “You feel it too, right?” Noelle asked, breaking my concentration. “Feel what?” I played dumb. “Like you could trust her. And Rose. And Morgan.” “Y... yeah... what is that?” “I’ve talked to Liv and Faith about it, they feel it too. It seems like we have a special bond with our dimension’s version of them... but even with the other ones, it’s still there... albeit weaker. Stronger than friendship, but not quite as intense as the bond we have with our own Mummy.” “I... should be scared of her. I mean I was a minute ago... but looking at her... it’s like...” “Like she’s your Mummy, but not quite?” She had taken the words right out of my mouth... “Yeah. That’s exactly it.” “Apparently they feel the same way about us. They feel strongest about their own little, but they’re still super protective and maternal around the rest of us. Rose was telling me how she was willing to protect Liv with her life when Liv got regressed at her wedding.” “Wait... so it’s not just a... relationship? The little version of us... and the Amazon version of Alex... they’re... married?” “Yeah! They had this big wedding. Charlie’s ex nearly regressed Liv fully, but they managed to save her with the help of Faith’s nanites. It was apparently very scary. Shortly after that wedding, Rose met me.” “But I thought... Amazons were evil and wouldn’t... couldn’t date littles...” “That may have been the case a few years ago, but Charlie is a big shot author who wrote some very pro-little books, which convinced their country to pass a bill to allow them to marry. They were the first little-Amazon couple to marry in their country. It was a huge deal. Now Charlie is working on a third book, and Liv is running for Government.” “Wow! Really?” “Uh huh! It’s super exciting.” I took a deep breath. I knew what I needed to do, despite my instincts tell me to hide still. Thankfully, that connection between me and her was more powerful than me fear of her Amazon status. “Umm... I’d... I’d like to apologise to Charlie, if that’s okay...” “I’ve got an idea. I need to run it by Rose first. So stay right here, okay?” Noelle said, standing up and rushing out. “...Uh... okay...” I said, sitting there, bewildered. I stayed there for a good ten minutes. No one came in, and I was still too nervous to go out, especially since Noelle told me to stay put. Even Charlie had gotten up and walked off somewhere. I kept peeking over the top of the counter to see if anything was happening... but there was nothing. Not even Alex came to check on me. “Paige? Sweetie?” That was a familiar voice... but considering they all sound so damn similar... I couldn’t be sure. “Alex?” I stood up, spinning around to see Alex by the door. “They... they’ve fixed the problem.” She said. “Huh?” “Come see for yourself, baby. Come along...” Alex waved me over. Nervously walking out of the kitchen, I grabbed her hand as she escorted me slowly out to the living area again. “W... where’s Charlotte?” I asked. “Here I am!” I heard someone say in the distance. I couldn’t see anyone. That was until Liv moved to the side, and stood there, the same height as Rose, Alex and Morgan... was Charlie. “I can’t believe it worked! You’re... well not my height... but... you’re a little!” Liv said, a massive grin appearing on her face. She wasn’t wrong, she was the same height as Alex and the other variations of her... but she still had to look down towards me as I got closer and closer to her. But now it’s the same height difference that Alex and I share. “I’m... a little!” Charlie couldn’t believe it. You could tell by her face that she wasn’t ever expecting to be this small. “What happened?” I asked nervously. Noelle skipped over to me. “Well Rose and I during our travels came across some other dimensions that also had access to magic. Turns out our dimension wasn’t the only one! Well anyway, reading through some of their research, we managed to find a way to cast the size transformation spell Rose loves to use on me on someone as large as Charlie. We hadn’t tried it yet, but I figured this was the best opportunity. So it means you aren’t frightened of her, and she can use the bathrooms in this place!” Noelle laughed. Charlie walked over to me. I could see something shiny dangling from her neck, something that wasn’t there before. ‘The spell... must be something to do with that necklace she’s now wearing...’ “Sorry for scaring you. I know a lot of Amazons can be cruel, and some, if not most, of the horror stories you’ve heard are true. But not all of us are like that. Our society is changing, at least in our country it is. Amazons are starting to treat littles with respect and dignity.” “That... that’s because of you and Liv, right?” I asked. I could feel myself warm up to her as we talked. “Well I like to think we had a hand in it, yes. But I think a lot of people were capable of it, it’s just... they needed a push. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a lot of progress. That’s why Liv is hoping to become an MP.” “I... I’m sorry. For the way I acted. I... I’ve always had a fear of your dimension. My... my old crew loved to make threats about sending me there as punishment.” “Well that’s just cruel. I don’t blame you for being so scared sweetie. Come here...” Charlie pulled me closer for a hug. Letting her do so, I felt her normal-sized arms wrap themselves around me. And it felt... familiar. Just like Alex’s hugs. But a bit different. “Can we start again?” I asked, pulling out of the hug. “Of course. Hi! I’m Charlotte, but you can call me Charlie.” “Hi Charlie... I’m Paige.” “Well it’s lovely to meet you, Paige. And this is your Mummy, I presume? Seeing as we both look alike...” Charlie grinned. Alex walked up and shook her hand. “Hi. I’m Alexandria... but I suppose if we’re going to be friends... you lot can call me Alex.” “Well it’s lovely to meet you Alex.” Charlie responded. Charlie was taken aback as Liv suddenly surprise-hugged her. “Oh hey baby...” Charlie squeezed her back. “You’re... I... I can’t believe it...” Liv said, her voice muffled by Charlie’s top. Liv’s face was pressed into her wife’s chest so much, I’m surprised she could still breathe! “I know baby, neither can I! I’m your size now!” They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed each other. It was a little awkward, no doubt they needed to get used to the tiny size difference compared to the usual difference they had to deal with on a daily basis. “Noelle? How long will this last?” Liv asked. “Well as long as that necklace I created is around your neck... it should last indefinitely. If you take that off... I’d give it an hour at most before the spell’s connection breaks.” “We’ll work with that.” Charlie said, smiling. Liv just stood there, mystified by her wife not being twice her height. “I...” was all she could get out. “Come on baby, let’s go snuggle up together on the sofa, try out this new size. I can’t carry you though... or maybe I can? I’m not sure.” “You should still have the same strength as your Amazon body, but densely packed into your new size.” Noelle mentioned. Charlie lifted Liv up in her arms effortlessly and carried her over to the sofa area where they snuggled up with each other, kissing each other and losing themselves in each other’s eyes. “If everyone would like to come sit down...” Rose announced to the rest of us. Alex took my hand and escorted me over to the sofa area. Morgan carried Faith over and they snuggled up together, and Noelle sat next to Rose. It seemed each couple had taken their own corner of the sofa-pit, snuggling up together. It was cute. And weird. Very weird. Seeing multiple versions of me and Alex... but all of them different slightly... I couldn’t stop looking at Charlie’s new height... Morgan’s robot arms... Rose’s glasses... “You okay baby?” Alex whispered to me. “Uh... uh huh. Just... getting used to all this. It’s... a lot to take in.” “Me too, baby, me too. But they seem trustworthy. So let’s just see what all this is about, okay?” “Thank you for coming, everyone.” Rose spoke up. “As you are aware, the multiverse theory is real. And there are multiple variations of us. It’s nice to welcome Alex and Paige into our little... whatever you want to call it. Sorry it was under such... unusual circumstances. But that’s what we’re here to discuss.” “It’s nice to be here, and meet all of you. Still going to take a bit to get used to the fact that there are other us...’s.” Alex said. Everyone responded with a smile, a couple of the littles waved happily. “So as you are all aware... we had a vision. All of us. At the same time. Now... I’ve had a vision before, similar to the shared one we had.” “You have?” Noelle asked. “When? Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because I didn’t think it was important until we had the shared one earlier. I figured it was just my brain playing tricks on me.” “When did you have the vision?” Charlie asked. “...When I died.” “You failed to tell us you died!” Charlie looked unimpressed. “Well... I’m not dead now!” Rose joked. “So what was in your vision the first time?” Morgan asked. “Same couple. But I was on a beach, enjoying the sun with the little. They hadn’t been... captured... or whatever had happened to them... yet.” Looking around, everyone seemed fascinated by this revelation. Everyone... except Faith. “F... Faith?” I asked, nervously. She just sat there, snuggled up to Morgan, frozen. “What’s up, babygirl?” Morgan bent down to ask her. “I... umm...” “Go on... you can tell me...” “Umm... when... when I was shot...” “You were shot?” Liv shouted at her. Now it was Liv’s turn to be surprised. Apparently despite being the same people... we didn’t seem to share a lot of key points. “Yeah... just before I came over to your universe to recover...” Faith took a breath. “My ex shot me. I nearly died.” “I mean you did die for a short time sweetie... Evie revived you...” Morgan corrected her. “I did? Umm...” “You had a vision too, didn’t you sweetie?” Rose asked her, softly. The same way Alex talks to me when I’m little and feeling sensitive or nervous. “Uh huh. It was on a beach. With the brown haired one. It was... nice. The buildings were all white and...” “Gold?” Rose finished her sentence. “Yeah!” Faith looked surprised. “So we had the same dream or vision or whatever when we died... and when I touched the jewel, we all had the same vision... across dimensions.” “Wait... so if we had the same visions, does that mean... the other variations in other dimensions had it too?” “Ah, I had thought of that. Before I went to get Liv and Charlie, I quickly visited one other dimension where I knew I had met another version of us before.” “Which one?” Alex asked. “Aeyuivia.” “Oh! The one from the story you gave us! See Charlie, I knew it was another version, and I told you it was Rose!” Liv said, looking up at her wife with the biggest grin on her face. “Yes you did, baby, well done.” Charlie replied. Liv looked so proud of herself, it was adorable. Especially with her all dressed up all babyish like that. It kind of made me wish I was little like her now... “Well yes, I went back to Aeyuivia. But apparently... they hadn’t experienced any visions.” Rose continued. “So it was just the four pairs of us?” Noelle asked. “That I know of... yes. I don’t know why, but it only affected us eight, and no other variations. But still, it managed to affect us spread across three different dimensions...” “So what was it? The vision I mean.” Noelle asked. I just kept quiet and watched as everyone else talked. “Well what we know so far... is that there are these two women... who look like us. So automatically... I’m assuming they’re another variation. Ones with magic, obviously. Not just because of the illusion spell the Mummy cast in the vision, but also because the vision was sent out as soon as I touched the jewel at Alex and Paige’s place. It felt... magical in origin.” Rose sounded so confident, despite not knowing much more about all this than the rest of us. “But what about the visions you and Faith had when you... died.” Charlie asked. “That... I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with how I was brought back. I’m not sure about anything, that’s why...” Rose held her hand out, palm up. Then waving her other over it... something magically appeared. “Wow... look Alex! Magic!” I said to Alex, excitedly. “I know baby! I never would have thought it was real before today!” She responded, squeezing me tightly. In Rose’s hand, lay a black cloth. And inside it... was another jewel, that looked almost identical to the one Alex had stored in her safe... the one Rose touched and started this whole thing off with. But this one was white, not red. Same size, same shape... just different colour. “Is that...?” Alex asked. “Yes. But not the same. It’s one I found in Aeyuivia, for helping out the King a long time ago... well... I say help.... anyway, I never claimed my reward, so when I went back to check on them earlier to see if the Queen and her Princess had had any visions... I saw this on display. They had no idea what it was, they hadn’t even touched it, it was apparently something the King had acquired when he was young. So I asked if I could take it as late payment, and they said sure.” “So... there’s more than one jewel...” Alex cupped her chin in her hand, deep in thought. “Yes, two that we know of now. And we have both. But this one... this one hasn’t been touched.” “Umm... I’m guessing if we do... we’ll all have those visions again?” I asked. “I’d say there’s a high probability of that being the case, yes. But only if everyone is ready. Plus, there’s something I’d like to try out if that’s okay?” Rose asked. Alex looked up at her. “Well I’m sure we can handle those visions again.” Everyone around the living room area nodded. “But... what is this thing you’d like to try?” Alex’s inquisitive nature coming out yet again. “Well... no doubt you’ve had that jewel of yours for years, correct?” “Correct. It was Paige who stole it for me.” “Wait... stole?” Liv asked. “I... I was a thief. It’s how Alex and I met...” I muttered as my face turned red and I focused my view towards the floor. “Oh you’ll have to tell us the full story sometime! I’m intrigued!” Liv grinned. Blushing, I snuggled closer to Alex. “Well in those years... both of you must have handled it, correct?” Rose continued with her train of thought. “I mean... when I stole it, I was wearing gloves. But when we got together and we worked on her research... yeah I handled it, as did Alex.” I answered. “Yet no one had any visions...” “Yeah...” Alex squinted, trying to figure this all out in her head. “So for some reason... it was only when I touched it that it activated and showed us all the visions. Which would make me believe that it must be something magical about it that triggers it. So if I can test my theory... can everyone try touching this jewel, one by one?” “...Okay...” Alex said, standing up and reaching out. Taking the round, flawless jewel in her hand... aaaand... nothing happened. “You next, babygirl.” She said, handing me the jewel. I hesitantly held out my hand, awaiting some kind of reaction as the jewel touched my skin... but again, nothing happened. Liv and Charlie got up and took the jewel from me, passing it from Charlie to Liv with no reaction whatsoever. Next was Morgan and Faith... still no reaction. “Now babygirl...” Rose looked at Noelle. “We know I’ve been able to activate one... let’s see if it’s magic that activates it...” Noelle walked over to Morgan, nervously taking the jewel from her hand. And as soon as her finger touched the surface of the crystal-clear jewel... A searing pain shot through my head. ========================================================== Another vision next chapter! ? I hope everyone enjoys this new story as it goes on! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Love in Dimensions. New chapters of Love in Dimensions every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! ?

______________________________________ Part 6: Paige sulked at the table, refusing to eat her vegetables or salmon or to participate in the conversation around her. Not that her input was really being asked. She wiped her still runny nose on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, and was met by Jake’s calm, jovial voice saying, “uh oh, someone thinks their sleeve is a tissue, huh, Paige?”. Paige just glowered at him, the childish cadence rubbing a sore spot just now, but her mom reached out and cuffed her sleeve, folding the wet portion over until it was no longer exposed, reminding her calmly that “we don’t wipe our noses on our clothes”, before passing her a napkin. Paige begrudgingly reached out to take it, refusing to look her mom in the eye when she shifted forward in her seat, feeling the warm soreness in her bottom beneath the subtly crinkling goodnite. “So Paigey, are any of your friends here for the summer or are they mostly going to summer camp?”, Mia asked sweetly, bringing Paige back to the dinner conversation. What. A. B*tch. Page glared at her petulantly, before answering with as much condescension and sarcasm as she could muster, “no, MEEMEE, unlike you, MY friends are all adults. They haven’t been summer campers in years. Why, do you want to go to sleep away camp this summer? I’m sure my mom and your daddy can arrange that for you, baby” “Oh no, silly, I meant aren’t some of them camp staff? I know that Renee Marsen mentioned to me that her daughter Julie and Karen Matthews were both working at Summer Glen this season”, Mia corrected laughingly, while Jake and Mae shared a silent look. “Paige, you have already earned yourself two consequences today, and you have only been home a couple of hours”, Mae said with that same measured calm. Paige looked down and felt her cheeks warm at the memory of her mom spanking her less than an hour ago. “I think you should focus a little more on your own behavior and less on name-calling, young lady, don’t you?”, Mae asked, with a warning tone. “I’m sorry, Mia, what were you saying?”, she resumed, looking away from her daughter and towards her stepdaughter. None of the condescending authority tone carried over in the switch. Mia, it seemed, could do no wrong. “But she started it! She was just teasing meeee!”, Paige whined, feeling the injustice more acutely than the receding warmth in her backside. “Paige, this is your second warning. If you don’t adjust your attitude, you can just go to bed. Maybe you’re overtired from the drive”, Mae said, not even giving Mia so much as a wagging finger. This was ridiculously unfair!!! “And you’re going to have a very hungry night if that’s the case, because you are not having any dessert or snacks if you don’t eat your dinner”, Mae finished, adding insult to injury. Paige frowned down at her plate. This sucked. She didn’t want to eat this, she had honestly just been shuffling it around on her plate a bit so she could grab herself a bowl of cereal after the others had retired to the living room. “Are you sitting for the Marsens this summer then?”, Jake was asking Mia, and the conversation refocused on the adorable Marsen twins, George Marsen’s new car, and the various families for whom Mia worked. Paige, meanwhile, seethed. Babysitting wasn’t even a real job! Pre-teen children could do it, so why was everyone acting like Mia was an adult and her some stupid kid when she was the one in college? She pushed a forkful of green beans a bit too hard, knocking a few onto the pale linen placement beneath her plate. She used her fingers to scoop them back onto her plate, but there were dark oily spots where they had landed. Mia was still droning on about one of her charges, some stupid kindergartner who was having issues with her potty training since her baby brother was born. How hard was it to watch a freaking kindergartener?! They were basically just more coordinated and verbal toddlers, what did Mia really even need to do, put on Barney and heat up Dino nuggets in the microwave? As far as Paige was concerned, she could talk to her when she knew how hard it was to write a 20 page thesis in one night. Paige glanced up and saw her mother watching her silently, and she quickly made a show of piercing a bean and bringing it up to her mouth, chewing reluctantly before spitting it back out into her hand when her mom’s gaze had shifted away, and trying to subtly drop the mess under the table where Lox was begging. She glanced around and no one seemed to be paying attention to her anymore, so she carefully wiped her hands off on her leggings under the table cloth and resumed pushing the mess around a bit, every so often repeating this process with various parts of the dish until it looked like she had slightly picked at the meal. There. Now she could at least get something good for dinner once everyone was out of the way. And, she knew that her mom usually made her famous peach pie with homemade ice cream when Paige came home for summers, so dessert would be one thousand percent better than this gross food. She resented that her mom thought that she could control what her adult daughter ate, as though she weren’t dealing with her own food needs on her own at college every other day that week. Simultaneously, she felt an odd sense of pleasure at the idea of these new rules and consequences. It felt like she really was a little kid, being told to eat her veggies or no dessert. Paige’s brain was not a simple place. If only it weren’t her mom making these decisions. “Paige?”, Jake was asking, eyebrow raised, hand outstretched questioningly. “Uh…? Oh yeah, I’m done, yeah. Here”, she said, thrusting her plate at the man, causing a few more green beans and some carrots to flop onto the placemat in front of her and onto her lap. “Oops”, she chuckled, reaching out to grab them with her fingers, then placing them onto the plate in Jake’s hands, set atop two others. “No Dad, you relax, I’ve got this stuff”, Mia said, swooping over and taking the plates out of her father’s hands and walking around to Mae to collect her utensils before disappearing into the kitchen. “Mm hmmm”, came a quiet cough from Paige’s right, as Jake sat back down. Paige looked over to see her mom, face expectant, gesturing towards Jake. “Uh… what?” Paige asked, rubbing her hands together to get the residual oil off. Sighing, Mae shook her head slightly, before saying, “thank you Jake”, and then repeating the sentiment as Mia came back into the room, drying her hands on a dishcloth. “No problem, honestly, I sort of like doing this kind of stuff”, Mia answered honestly, asking if anyone wanted some coffee before dessert as she had started a fresh pot. Jake and Mae both accepted the offer, but when Paige tried to say yes, even tacking on a begrudgingly mumbled “thanks”, her mom jumped in and shook her head. “Paige, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to have caffeine this close to bedtime”, she explained dismissively, standing up to help Mia in the kitchen. This was getting ridiculous. She was an adult, not some little kid who couldn’t handle a coffee. Also, oh. My. God. When this could not be her actual mom, but some character in a story she would write, she would be so much more amenable to such a line of reasoning. “Mom, I’m an adult, not a child! I drink coffee at night all the time at school!”, she exclaimed, clenching her fists but trying to keep her cool. “And anyway, it isn’t even dark out yet!” “Well honey, maybe that’s why you’ve been having your little night time problem”, Mae said meaningfully highlighting the last few words, “not to mention your horrendous sleep habits”. “Mooooooom!”, Paige whined loudly, blushing. How could her mom talk about her bedwettin-errr her fake bedwetting that is, at the table like that! Though remembering the previous break and how openly her underpants had been discussed she realized that she shouldn’t be surprised. She was definitely glad she had said what she had earlier, so she could put an end to this alleged betwetting in the next few days after waking up, unsurprisingly dry. “Paigey, we don’t keep secrets in this family, and it would be hard for your dad and sister to help you if they didn’t know l. Not to mention that it would be impossible for them not to have noticed and heard you put on your childish drama earlier”, Mae said quickly and calmly. Paige shifted in her seat, sitting on her hands so she didn’t lash out and smack the table in frustration. She could feel the heat from her bottom through the slight thickness of the pull-up and stayed quiet. She didn’t know if her mom meant what had transpired in the bathroom or upstairs after. Oh god, she thought, of course they knew what had happened, how could they not have heard her mom spanking her and her yelping and crying as she was scolded between smacks. “Moooooom”, she whined again, though more quietly this time. “Speaking of”, Mae continued, as though Paige hadn’t spoken, “why don’t you go try to use the bathroom while we get dessert out”. And when Paige didn’t immediately get up, she crossed her arms and Paige jumped in quickly, saying, “mom, I don’t have to go. Really”. Paige’s account wasn’t sufficient to convince Mae, however, who crossed her arms, and said in that same authoritative yet calm tone, “Paige Duncan, it is time for you to go sit and try to make. Do you need me to take you to the potty myself?”. That was enough to get Paige up and out of her seat, rushing off to the bathroom where she pretended to go before flushing and washing her hands and returning to the dining room. Before she could sit, Mae was summoning her to the kitchen with her name, though, and she shuffled her way into the room. Mae was scooping ice cream onto plates with waiting slices of peach pie, and Mia was stirring something at the stove. She smiled kindly when Paige came in, but Paige just glared back until Mia returned to her task. “Yeah?” Paige asked guardedly, arms crossed over her flat chest. “Come here a second, honey”, Mae said, finishing the last plate and glancing over to see that her stepdaughter was still busy across the kitchen. When Paige was close enough, Mae quietly asked, “did you make it?”, before pulling Paige’s pants down a bit and feeling the padding of her goodnite. Paige wanted to whine, or slap her hand away, but she also wanted this over with before Mia turned around, and she knew her mom would persue this no matter what she said. “All dry, good job!”, Mae pronounced, still-mercifully-in a whisper, pulling Paige’s leggings back into place and patting her lovingly on the rear. Mia still had her back to the scene, pouring the contents of the pot into a mug. Thank god, Paige thought, when her mom suddenly bent down scrutinizing her again. “Paige, what in the world have you done to your pants!?”, she asked, straightening again, and when Paige looked down she saw that there were smears and smudges of different colors where she had wiped the remnants of her chewed up dinner under the table. Her fingerprints were easy to make out and there were bits of what was unmistakably carrot and green bean ground into the fibers of the leggings. “Uh… Um, I think it’s from Lox jumping up on me”, Paige hedged, hoping her mom would mistake the fingerprints for tiny paw prints. “Paige, you have already gotten one spanking for lying tonight… do you want to change your answer before you earn yourself a second trip over my knee?”, Mae asked evenly. Paige didn’t look up to see if Mia was watching, but she knew the girl could hear everything, all of this happening at a regular volume. “Uh… um, I guess it’s probably… Um… from my hands. I guess-I mean I must’ve w-wiped my hands on my pants”, Paige acquiesced. She hadn’t forgotten what her mom had said earlier and she felt guilty for lying, as small as it was. Her mom didn’t ask for any of this and here she was making things so complicated for her. “Oh Paige, I appreciate your honesty, but how in the world did you manage to make such a mess of yourself, Mae asked, wiping at Paige’s pants with a damp cloth. “Why was there so much food on your hands to begin with? And didn’t I just give you a napkin earlier?” Paige blushed, trying to get away from the cold wipe, saying, “mom it’s fine, it isn’t a big deal”. Paige tried to slink out of the room as her mom relented and turned to pick up the dessert plates, but just then Jake came in and with a peck on Mae’s cheek, lifted two of the plates and all of the spoons. Mae smilingly lifted the last two plates, and started after him, Paige on her heels. She turned to her daughter just then and glanced into the kitchen behind her before shaking her head as though she was disappointed. What the hell now!? Paige wondered. Maybe Mia had spilled, she thought excitedly, though her mom squashed that hope quickly. “Paige, you could at least offer to help Mia with the coffees, you know”, Mae sighed, turning away only after Paige had muttered a forced, “um fine, do you need help?” to her smiling nemesis. “Oh Paige, sweetheart, that’s so thoughtful”, Mia said, genuinely, before gesturing the smaller yet older girl over to the counter where four mugs were steaming along with a creamer and small dish of sugar. “You’ll be my big helper”, she added, sliding the carafe back onto the heating zone. Paige reached out for the handles of the closest two mugs sullenly, but Mia suddenly pulled her hand back, inspecting her fingertips with concern, before asking, “oh no, Paigey, did you burn yourself?” “Wha-no!”, Paige shot back, looking at the girl like she was crazy. Which she clearly was. She pulled her hand back and started to reach for the mugs again when Mia reached past her and picked up the creamer and sugar, holding them out. “Paigey, I’d worry a whole lot less about you spilling and burning yourself if you take these instead”, Mia said, looking genuinely concerned. “Do you think you can manage both of these?” She asked, placing them into Paige’s hands, and closing her fingers around them, adjusting her grip before letting go and picking up all four mugs with the practiced ease of a veteran waitress. “Wow, good job!”, Mia trilled, reminding Paige to “use your walking feet, okay?”. Clearly Mia spent too much time around babies, because she didn’t seem to be acting or teasing the girl intentionally, genuinely praising Paige for the mere act of walking while holding things. This of course lead the girl to overthink it all and jostle the creamer a bit too much, sloshing just a bit onto the floor. She was thinking up a smarta$$ remark still when Mia interrupted with a patronizing, “Uh oh, slow down, Paigey”, adding, “don’t worry, I’ll clean that up in a sec, you’re doing great”. She smiled a bit despite herself, feeling redeemed from the spill. Damn straight she was doing great, it wasn’t easy to keep the creamer steady, as high as Mia had filled it, and she also had the rattling china top of the sugar dish to contend with. When Paige was finally seated at the table, pie in place, Mia handed out the mugs, placing one in front of Paige too. Maybe she had forgotten mom’s pronouncement, Paige thought smugly, reaching out and taking the mug, leaning in to get a whiff while all around her she heard niceties being exchanged. “What the hell is this?”, she spat out, realizing that it wasn’t coffee in front of her, but rather- “Hot chocolate”, Mia pronounced with an expectant smile, while simultaneously, Mae stood up, hands on hips, frowning. “Language! That’s strike three, young lady”, she said, pointing away from the table towards the stairs. “W-what?” Paige asked, genuinely confused. What the hell? What had she even done this time!? “Mae”, Mia interjected, calmly, drawing her attention easily. “Paige earned two strikes for her attitude, not for her language, maybe we can give her a break? It is her first night back after all…”. Paige frowned. She didn’t want Mia to defend her, she liked being able to hate her with an earned (okay, perhaps that was a stretch) vehemence without any baggage. But at the same time, she did want to eat this pie! “Mia, you are too sweet, but Paige already earned a timeout for her language and her attitude and she has been nothing but rude to you all day. Isn’t it you who told me children need firm, consistent expectations and consequences when they act out, Mae countered. Mia shrugged, then averted her gaze, biting her lip. She looked, what? Sad? What the hell did she have to feel sad about, it wasn’t her being sent to bed without dessert! “But moooooom!”, Paige whined, reaching out to pick up her spoon anyway, as her mom slid it away from her, pointing again at the stairs. “Bed”. Part of Paige wanted to reach out to grab the pie with her bare hand in an act of pure and delicious defiance, but then she thought about what her mom had said earlier in her room. ________ Part 7: Earlier: “-I’ve just been having some be-um-night-time incontinence issues at school. I’m over it now, I just… just thought it would be a good idea- a mature choice, I mean, to wear my goodni- um the protection a few more nights with all the stress of coming home”, Paige finished breathlessly, glowing red. That seemed like a good explanation. A mature decision, everything under control, and an issue that very well could be entirely in the past… if she so wanted… Mae stood and sat down next to her daughter on the bed, rubbing her back gently. “That sounds like a lot to deal with”, she said kindly, and added, “I’m proud of you for being so proactive and mature about your-the bed-night time issues”, she faltered, seeming to search for the next right thing to say. “But… I’m still really confused and concerned about… the rest. What do the doctors at school say?”, she continued diplomatically. Paige wasn’t ready for that. She supposed she should have been, as familiar with fake and real bedwetting issues as she was from stories online, but somehow she hadn’t thought her mom would ask that. Should she lie or fess up? The whole thing was a lie to begin with, she supposed, and if her mom brought her to a real doctor she was sure to be found out, and anyway, that would be way too much for her to handle. This was just a little fib, she reasoned, so her mom could feel less worried. Really, it was thoughtful of her she decided, as she said “Um… they, they said it was p-probably just stress f-from finals, an-and um… that iit wwould go a-away on its own”, Paige lied, laying the groundwork for her complete recovery. “A-and it has! I haven’t um- haven’t… you know… wet the bed- in uhh… in over a week now”. Mae looked thoughtful, and a bit sad. It was really sweet of her to worry about Paige so much, but she was starting to make Paige feel terrible about the whole thing. How could she have been so selfish and careless. Why couldn’t she just stop with all of this ABDL stuff? She certainly had tried through the years, but it hadn’t really had any negative impact on her loved ones up to now. Now, she felt like a huge jerk for putting this on her mom, boxed into a corner or not. She deserved all of the consequences. She would probably feel better if her mom caught her in the lie right here and now and gave her every punishment she could think of. Paige knew she deserved it. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth, not even to her mom, who she was sure would love and accept her and even try to understand her no matter what. She just knew her mom wouldn’t understand. That she would see Paige differently. And Paige couldn’t bear that. “You’re lying to me”, Mae said quietly then, and Paige nearly choked on her own tongue. She was blushing bright red and tears were forming in her eyes as her mom continued. “You said you have only been having these issues because of finals?”, she asked, and Paige jerked her head in a small nod, staring at her carpet. “And it is only bedwetting?”, she asked, prodding. Paige nodded again, a bit stronger. Wait, what part did she think Paige was lying about? “Paige, if you’re wearing these diapers just in case for bedwetting, why were you wearing one this afternoon, and why”, she bent down so she could look her daughter in the eye, not unkindly, but genuinely asking, “do you have a wet spot in the middle of your diaper now?” Paige didn’t know what to say. So her mom had noticed the damp patch. What could she say, I dribbled just a bit, but then I was really aroused by the conflicting feelings I have about humiliation and diapers-I mean goodnites? She decided on something in the middle, saying in almost a whisper, “I-I just… I was gonna take a a-nap when I got home”, she said. That would explain why she was wearing the pull-up at least. “And the wet spot?”, her mom asked quietly, rubbing Paige’s knee supportively. “Um… it’s not we-“ Paige began, then backtracked as she saw her mom’s eyebrow rise, “n-not that wet”, she corrected herself, earning the drop in her mom’s questioning brow. “Honey, I’m concerned that it’s wet at all. And I’ve seen your underwear, this isn’t the only accident you’ve had, is it?”, she asked. “Y-yeah it is!”, Paige promised, and Mae looked skeptical again. “Sweetie, I’m not mad at you. I can only imagine how hard all of this must be to deal with at your age. But you need to be honest with me. This is about your health. I know you’ve had some… bowel accidents, and I was clearing out your drawers for the summer and I noticed that all of your panties have a faint smell of amonia and”, Mae said, moving to the closet and bringing out a plastic shopping bag, “look at these and tell me that you aren’t having daytime accidents too”, Mae finished, holding a pair of white cotton panties out to Paige. They were hers, that was true, she recognized the various pairs in the bag and this one in particular, with the little stars, but she certainly did not recognize the faint yellow stains along the crotch and up into the butt of the fabric. She looked at the others, each one with the same degree of staining or even worse, and then her mom went to the closet and pulled another bag out, this one knotted on top, though Paige could still smell the unmistakeable (to an ABDL), scent of old urine as soon as it was in range. “I also found these”, Mae said calmly, brandishing the bag, through which Paige could faintly make out a pair of jeans and what must be a pair of panties, though mold had begun to grow on both. “I’m afraid we’ll have to throw them out”, her mom said, almost apologetically, adding, “but if you need, we can go shopping and get you new ones… once we figure out your potty problems”, she added as an afterthought. “But you need to stop lying to me and be honest. How long has this been going on, and what did the doctors say specifically? Did you tell them the full truth about your problems? Or just the bedwetting?”, Mae pressed. “I-I…” Paige didn’t know what to say. She had no idea where all of the stains on these panties had come from. She had so many pairs of underwear that she could easily keep a stash here for breaks, as she did tend to change a few times throughout the day, being… a moist person as it were… so it was possible that some of these stains were very very old, though she could remember getting most of these panties, could remember her fixation with different styles and brands, her pattern phase and her pure white phase, her Aerie phase and her Fruit of the Loom and Target phases. And none of those had been all that many years ago. Certainly not long enough to reflect a time where she had accidents. But how then could the stains have appeared? And she felt crazy, wracking her brain to remember if she had left the wet pants bagged in her closet, but she had never actually wet herself in jeans… though now that she thought of it, she might have to remedy that this summer. “I-I don’t know what happened to these”, she said, gesturing to the moldy jeans and panties in the bag, pressing on. “M-maybe they got wet somehow… like from the pool or shower or something, and I put them in the bag and f-forgot about them?”, she tried. It was as realistic a possibility as any, honestly, considering that she genuinely didn’t know how they got like that. “Paige, honey, you were in diapers long enough that I remember what stale pee pee smells like, and those”, she said, pointing at the bag, “are covered in stale pee pee”. “Um… I-I don’t remember doing that”, Paige said honestly. She wasn’t going to try to reason it out only to be shot down over and over again. “And I don’t think I did this either”, she continued, gesturing towards the underwear now in her lap. “I don’t think… I mean-I don’t think they had so many stains before… m-maybe there’s a leak in here or s-something”, she said lamely, honestly not sure what to say. “Mmhmm”. Mae intoned, looking sad and suspicious. She stood up and moved the chair back a bit, sitting down again facing the bed. “Paige, I’m not doing any of this to make you feel badly about yourself or to punish you. The new rules and consequences are here because I know that I failed you in some ways, and that I think you need a different kind of help growing up than I had given you before”. Paige still resented the idea that her mom thought that she was somehow not mature enough, needed so much help still, but she waited it out, letting her mom finish. “I’ve really been trying to set you up for success with all of this, but when you earn a consequence it is meant to be an extra encouragement to associate with the mistake and to help you learn from your negative actions so you can do better moving forward. My therapist explained that our brains are wired a certain way based on a number of factors, but that we can help to prune away or reinforce synaptic connections based on repetition. It’s more complicated than all that, but do you understand why I put you in timeout earlier when you cursed and threw a tantrum, and why I couldn’t just let you quit when you broke the rules? I don’t want to reinforce those kinds of behaviors and reactions for you by giving in. I want to help you learn to react in healthier ways”. Paige was surprised by Mae’s genuine tone and her fully-thought-out reasoning. It was embarrassing to think, but if she heard that about a little kid throwing a fit, she would certainly applaud the parent for their caring and reasonable method. Hell, maybe she did sometimes need help reacting in healthier ways, having a bit of a hair trigger at the best of times. Just… did it have to be so embarrassing?!, she thought. “So I’m going to give you a chance to tell me the truth about your potty training issues, and the full story about the doctors at school, and then we can handle your consequence for lying to me about your health”, Mae said kindly. Paige actually felt grateful to hear this, knowing that she deserved more of a consequence than her mother even knew. But she still didn’t know what to say about the potty training thing. Especially the doctor. She didn’t want her mom to worry, and she wasn’t having issues. She honestly didn’t know where all of the stains had come from. She didn’t want her mom to think she was lying about it though, or to take her to the doctor if she thought Paige hadn’t acknowledged her supposed issues fully, so she thought maybe she could bend her goodnite story just a bit to fit. All in the hopes of reducing the harm to her mother, and, Paige admitted to herself, to keep this in her control as much as possible. “I-I… you’re right”, Paige said, practically hyperventilating. “I h-Ave been ha-aving some… issues. B-but they-the doctors aat school, I mean-they ran um a bunch of tests and there… there weren’t any medical issues they could find. They just said th-that I had a small bladder and m-maybe some f-food sensitivities and th-that it might be stress related and I sh-should just wear protection until it w-w-went away. A-and it ha-as”, Paige stumbled her way through what she hoped was an adequate story to help her mom stop worrying and allow Paige to be “cured” ASAP. Mae was nodding, though she still said, “Honey, thank you for telling me the truth. I’m proud of you for that. But I don’t think you’re quite as over this as you want to think”, her mom said, causing Paige to swell with pride, then wonder aloud, “wait, what do you mean?! I’m better now, really! I haven’t been having …accidents in-in more than a week!”, Paige defended her lie. “Honey, what about today? I could see you trying to hold it, but at your age you should be able to make it to the potty before having an accident, even a little one, unless you’re still having some kind of trouble. If there isn’t anything medically wrong, then it is a matter of potty training. Are you waiting too long to go to the bathroom? Or are you not really sure when you have to go? Or are you dribbling a bit without noticing? Or all of them?”, she asked, again, with no hint of anger or judgement, just sounding like she wanted to help. Paige blushed, again, not sure of what to say. Which one of those sounded the least embarrassing? The easiest to “get better” from? “I-I’m not… I don’t know”, she said in a quiet voice not looking up. She would leave it as vague as possible and then she could decide later what she thought had ‘helped her get better’. “Okay. I’m not mad at you, sweetie, I just want to help. We’ll figure this out together, okay? Mia might be able to help, she knows a lot about potty training and-“, Mae started before Paige interrupted with an angry and desperate, “NO! No, don’t ask Mia, please mommy, no! I don’t want her to know about this!”. “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t do this on your own. Potty training isn’t easy when you’re starting out with a fresh slate of a toddler, but I’m sure it can’t be any easier for a kid who’s partially trained to relearn the things they need when we aren’t really sure what things they are…”, Mae reasoned. “Plus, Mia already knows about it. She does the laundry almost as much as I do and the walls in this house are paper thin. Even if I thought it would be better for you to keep this a secret, which I do not, the cat is most certainly out of the bag already”. Paige felt like her heart was beating too fast and she was completely conflicted. On the one hand she couldn’t bear the humiliation of all of this, and on the other hand she felt like she was in a dream… one of her favorite kinds. Here she had a perfectly good reason to have pull-ups around, to have baby wipes and powder and to not have to sneak around and constantly worry about all of it, about being caught. But at what cost… she thought. It wasn’t fair to stress her mom like this. She would have to convince her that she was totally cured, totally retrained as soon as she reasonably could. And she would just do her best to get back at Mia for… knowing? Existing? Soon. “Alright sweetie, I don’t think this is something we are going to figure out in one night, and I’m sure you are as hungry as I am, so let’s just get your consequence over with so we can go eat dinner, okay?”, Mae said, gently bringing Paige back to reality as she patted her lap. “Uh… okay, fine”, Paige said, knowing that she deserved whatever her mom had planned, and that it might even make her feel less guilty. “Okay, up and over then honey”, Mae said, again, patting her lap. She couldn’t mean… could she?! No! “M-moooom I-“ Paige started before her mom cut her off. “Paige, the sooner your spanking gets started the sooner it’ll be over”, Mae said, reaching out and pulling Paige by the wrist so she was standing by Mae’s right leg, then easing her down and over her lap. Paige felt like her head might explode. “Paige, you have earned a consequence for lying. I’m going to spank you over your pants and then on your bare bottom with my hand for two minutes. Do you know why I need to give you this consequence?” Mae said, waiting for the small girl to answer. “Y-yes m-Ma’am”, Paige eeked out from her position. “I need you to tell me why, honey”, Mae prompted kindly. She didn’t sound angry, and this whole thing seemed like a dream. Paige half imagined that she might wake up at the first smack. “B-because I lied”, Paige sniffled, feeling the guilt well up. She wished her mom would just start spanking her already and get it over with. “You are receiving this spanking because you lied to me about your health, Paige. You lied by not telling me, and then you lied right to me about it, and then again. I can’t help you if you don’t let me help you. Do you understand?” Mae asked this last part with emotion in her voice. It was clear that she was giving Paige an out. That if Paige said to stop this whole thing could be over, that she could avoid this particular consequence, but she honestly felt like she deserved it, and she hated to admit it, but she had always dreamt of this, wondered what it would be like, fantasized. Even thinking this, she felt incredibly guilty… guilty enough that she felt she really did deserve a spanking. So she just nodded and meekly said, “yes mommy, I love you, I’m sorry”. “I know that sweetie, and I love you too. Let’s get started then”, Mae said, then started a timer on her phone, lifted her right hand and, THWUMP. Paige felt the first spank through her leggings and pull-up, though it wasn’t painful. Humiliating, yes, but not painful. The subsequent spanks continued in the same fashion for a bit before her mom pulled her leggings down, exposing the goodnite, leaving Paige blushing and wriggling. Now the spanks started to sting, particularly those that landed beyond where the pull-up sat, along the lower parts of her buttocks and her sit spots, her upper thighs. She squirmed and whined a little, but her mom continued for a bit. When she let up for a second, Paige thought she might be done, but then she felt her hands on the back of her goodnite, and then air on her warm bottom as the padding was slid down her thighs and then SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK. The spanking picked up speed, and the pain was obvious now, the stinging intensifying with each crack of her mom’s hand against her sore bottom and bringing tears to her eyes. Paige forgot about being embarrassed and just tried not to cry. That soon went out the window and she let the tears fall as her mom continued her unrelenting spanking. SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK - how could this be only two minutes!? Paige thought- SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK- “owww. Ow. Ow. Mommy! Ow. Stop! Owwww! Mooommy!” Paige howled and sobbed as her mom continued on, barely having lifted her hand off of Paige’s bottom before she was smacking it again. She spanked methodically and Paige couldn’t believe how strong she seemed to be. SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK-brrrrrring brrrrrrrrring brrrrrrrrring! Paige sniffled as her mom reached down to turn off the alarm, then helped her daughter to stand up. While Paige rubbed her bottom and felt the hot sore spots, Mae reached down and ripped the sides of her goodnite, then pulled it out from between her legs, balling it in on itself. Paige looked up, still crying. “Shhhh, shhhh, you’re okay, you’re okay baby, come here. All is forgiven, you’re okay, shhhhh”, Mae said, pulling Paige in for a hug and rubbing her back. “You did such a good job, sweetie”, Mae praised her, still rubbing circles. When Paige had calmed down and her sniffles turned to hiccups, Mae lifted her chin and said, “can you tell me why you needed that spanking?”, she asked calmly. “B-because because I lied to you a-about my health. I’m so sorry I worried you, mommy, I’m sorry!”, Paige said, bursting into fresh tears. Mae held her again, pulling her down into her lap and pulling her head into her neck. “Shhhh. Shhhhh. Thank you honey, that’s good. I know you will try your best next time to tell the truth. I love you so much and all I want is for you to be your best self. If you need diapers, that’s fine with me, if you make a mistake or earn a consequence that’s okay, I would love you no matter what. But I need to know everything to be able to help you”. Paige nodded into her chest. She felt better, weirdly enough. “Okay we’re all done, all is forgiven. Let’s get you cleaned up and dressed and get down for dinner. It’s probably getting cold by now,” Mae said, straightening up and smoothing down Paige’s hair. “Where are your supplies?” Paige looked confusedly back at her, not understanding her meaning. “Your diapers, honey”, Mae said kindly, clarifying. Paige blushed and looked down “they’re-they’re not diapers”, she mumbled. “Oh god, of course not, I’m so sorry. Where are your Pull-ups, I mean?”, Mae corrected hurriedly. Paige knew that she considered pull-ups diapers because just last winter Mia and she had a long conversation about it at one of the many family breakfasts when Mia announced that one of her charges had been promoted to training pants. It was a mark of how hard Mae was trying that she made the distinction so clear, so Paige turned and pulled the flat goodnite bag out of her backpack, and reached in to pull one out. “Is that all you have left?”, her mom asked in surprise as paige started to pull her leggings off, having to sit on the bed since they had become tangled with all of her kicking during the spanking. Paige blushed as she thought this, and as her hot and sore butt made contact with her quilt. “Um… yeah. I-I-like I said, I uh thought I didn’t need them anymore. I figured I’d just finish the pack to be safe”, Paige said, pulling the garment up and reaching down to turn her leggings right-side out before pulling them on. She stood, pulling her pants up, and looked up to see her mom frowning at her. “I-I’m sorry”, she said, thinking that her mom was shaking her head about the number of bedwetting pants she had left. “I’ll be fine, really”, Paige said, and her mom shook her head again, looking into her backpack. “No honey, I think we both know you need more than that. I’ll have your dad pick some more up after dinner. But I’m more concerned about where your wipes are just now. You just changed out of a wet pull-up, you need to be wiped properly before you put a clean one on or you’ll get a rash or an infection”, Mae said gently, disappearing into the hall, then returning with a bundle of towels. She lay one down on Paige’s bed, doubling it over itself, and placed the other on the desk chair. Paige could see that it was wet. Mae had already worked Paige’s pants down her to her knees before Paige fully processed what she intended to do. “N-no! Mom! I can do that myself, seriously!”, Paige rushed out in a panic, trying to pull her pants back up. “Honey, I think we both know that you haven’t been completely responsible about changing and cleaning yourself when you need it. You admitted yourself that you’re not always sure when you have an accident, and you clearly were ready to sit in that wet diaper until someone told you to change, and then to skip wiping just now until I told you to do it”. Mae didn’t wait for Paige to argue, holding up a hand to silence her, before continuing. “I think that for the time being it would be best if I help you with your d-pull-ups when I’m home”, she said gently, pulling Paige’s hands away from her waist and peeling her leggings then goodnite down quickly. “I‘ll try to remind you to use the potty regularly, and maybe we can try one of those watches Mia mentioned”, Mae said as she lifted Paige up and planted her bare pink bottom onto the towel, letting her legs dangle over the edge. “Okay, honey, lay down now and we’ll get you cleaned up in no time”, she finished, as though she didn’t expect Paige to answer. She gently pushed paige down and onto her back on the towel, then, as paige started at the ceiling of her childhood bedroom, she felt her mom start to wipe her most private areas, humming the whole time. When she heard, “there we go, all clean”, Paige could feel her goodnite being pulled up her thighs and tried to sit up, only to be stopped by her mom’s hand on her chest. “Hang on baby, I just want to make sure you don’t leak”, she said, crossing Paige’s ankles and pushing back so that her bottom was raised up. She shimmied the pull-up up her daughter’s thighs and over her freshly spanked bottom, then checked the fit around her butt cheeks before lowering the girl back onto the makeshift changing pad. She pulled at the leak guards around Paige’s thighs before patting the front to declare her “all set”, and helping her to her feet.

That's the same way I feel as well. I wear mines until they leak or poop and which case, i'll waddle or crawl my butt to the diaper changing table and get changed.

I read Awaken's post twice and I don't see how it's misogynistic. I defend your right to express your opinion but I feel the need to express my disagreement. I would like to point out that you didn't give a single example of how or why it's misogynistic. Maybe you're confusing the bluntness of his post as misogyny? Hugs, Freta

Scene #162 “Mary, come look at this.” “Do you really need me to come look, or are you laying on the bed naked,” she called back from wherever she was doing whatever she was doing. I really did need her to come look, sorta but not really but yes, but she did give me an idea for the future. Maybe one day this week I’ll need her to come look at a few things in the bedroom. Heehee! “I need you to come look.” My Mary usually strides or saunters or struts and once even promenaded, but it sure sounded like she was trudging up the stairs to me. “What?” Can you believe she said that? I chose to ignore it. “Remember that snake I saw in the yard?” “You mean do I remember hearing you shriek and running because I thought you were hurt and finding you flailing at the ground with a shovel?” “It wasn’t a shriek; it was a battle cry, and yes. This says there can be four hundred of these snakes to an acre. We have to move.” “You are such a fraidy cat.” “Ssssss!” “Did you just hiss at me?” “You called me a name. Besides, you’re the one who won’t even kill her own spiders.” “But,” she said as she advanced on me. She’s always advancing on me. “I am the one who’ll spank her wife’s butt when she gets sassy.” “Hey whoa! Stop just flipping me over.” “Make me!” And then – get this – she gave me ten rapid spanks on – get this! – my butt!!! Like, who even does that (aside from most of the women I choose to associate myself with and the one I married named Mary). “What was that for!?!” “Because it makes you sexually excited. Why don’t you go see your Nana for a while?” Which is when we had the awkward silence to end all awkward silences. Normally, I’d find it very funny when Mary gets flustered for once, but the manager in charge of funny in my brain walked off the job and into the ocean. “Um, heh, what I, uh, not related … the sentences! Why don’t you just go hang out with her … if she’s home, give you something to do.” “Maybe you take a nap while I’m gone,” I said to Miss Mary Malaprop while giving her the sidiest side eye ever. “Is everything okay? You came upstairs a little grumpy.” “I hate doing taxes.” “You’ll like it more when we get the refund check.” I had offered to do them, and Mary patted me on the head and said she really appreciated the offer but it’s a grownup job. Then she said my job was to be smol, play with toys, and “glare at me just like you’re doing now, cutie … Yep, just like that.” Which made me blush and look away, and she snickered at me! The nerve this woman has on her! By Jove, I like her and stuff (and her things too). “What if instead of going to Nana’s I take a nap with you? I’ll be the big spoon, and don’t you tell me I’m too little for it.” I preempted that whole thing. She’d probably never say I was too little again. Really. “I’m almost done. Scoot.” And there she went swatting my butt again. “Are your pull-ups still dry?” “It’s a ‘pull-up,’ Mary. Up. I’m only wearing one. Don’t make it worse than it is.” “Speaking of grumpy butts.” “Am not. I just don’t like snakes.” “They’re the size of a pencil.” “They’re snakes … We should buy a mongoose. Or mongeese.” Mongooses? “Yeah, that’s a thing that’s gonna happen.” I was halfway out the door when she said, “Wait. Gimme a kiss.” Which I did and I liked it and I had that Katy Perry song stuck in my head for a half hour after. I headed to Nana’s back door cuz we’re familiar like that and was pleased to find her in yard getting her garden ready for planting. “Hi,” I said loudly enough for her to hear me over her headphones. “Hiya. Was that you screaming earlier?” “Yes.” I’ll own it. I have nothing to be embarrassed about. “What on earth was Mary doing to you?” “Nothing,” I snootily answered back. I was a little offended. I don’t think I’ve ever carried on that way cuz of anything Mary has ever done … I think. She’s done a lot of stuff to me, some of the best parts fuzzy in my memory. And how did Nana get to be someone who just assumes we’re up to kinky stuff or that I’m in trouble all the time? We’ve done nothing to give her that impression. Really. Were actually quite normal and vanilla and private. Really. “I saw a snake,” I informed her. “O. You don’t like snakes?” “Not even a little.” “What kind was it?” “A ring-neck, according to the interwebs.” “All that screaming for one of those little things?” “It was a battle cry, and a small snake is not not a snake. I’m ready to move, but if we have to disclose we have snakes I don’t think we’ll get much for our house.” I know we wouldn’t have to disclose that, but I’m just saying. Do you wanna buy a snake house? If the answer is yes, we can’t be friends. “You’re so dramatic.” “They’re serpents!” Go read some literature and see how civilizations stretching back to the very beginning feel about serpents. The apple was just one of their many misdeeds. “They eat pests.” “They are a pest! I’d rather have a mouse than a snake. At least the mouse is a mammal.” Like me. Small, cute, soft, which taken together is I guess what smol means; and vulnerable to the predations of predators (named Mary) who are always threatening to pounce, swoop down, strike, or bite. I’m not sure which of those is my favorite. “You wanna help me?” “Yes please. Be right back.” I ducked back into my yard and emerged with my trusty pitchfork. I’d left it out. Good thing Mary isn’t terribly interested in gardening and outdoor chores, or I’d probably get a lecture about taking care of my tools as prelude to getting my butt beat with the garden hose (which really happened once, but I don’t think I could do it now; o, to be young again). “So what’s happening in your life, Daffy?” “Spring,” I said as I helped her spread mulch. “Being outside and planting stuff. You really started something.” “How’s that?” “I used to think I hated gardening, and then I helped you plant tulip bulbs and you offered to help with our garden, and now I spend all winter looking forward to it.” “It’s fun making things grow, isn’t it? Are you planting anything special this year?” “The plan is to plant more berries. I planted two blueberry bushes last year and got exactly three berries.” They were very good. I figure if I spend another eighty dollars on berry bushes I could have enough to top a (very small) bowl of ice cream. Won’t that be fun? Heehee! “And I learned my lesson last year about vegetables,” I added. “Figured out a better way to plant them?” “Figured out not to plant them at all. We had so many, and Mary insisted we actually eat them.” Something dumb about them being healthy for us. I just grew them cuz I like making stuff grow. But Mary was all about actually eating them, and that led to our then-latest disagreement about the importance of eating vegetables, which led to me remind Mary she’s not in charge of what I put in my body, which led to Mary making her wanna-bet face and reminding me she’s in charge of me, which led to her not letting me have dessert for a week. But because I am an agent of my down destiny, Mary not letting me have dessert isn’t the same as me not having dessert. When Mary discovered my perfidy (her word; I prefer ‘civil disobedience’), she reminded me she can’t make me do anything but she can make me wish I had. Long story short, got spanked, dessert prohibition was extended another week minimum and remained in effect until I asked her to spank me with the bathbrush. And lemme tell you something – turns out I like dessert more than I hate that bathbrush, so it’s not like I wasted time in asking for it. Of course, Mary put her thumb on the scale and arrived home that afternoon with a cake from a bakery and was o so ready to remind me I couldn’t have any until I asked for my spanking. If only she put her genius into being god instead of wicked. “You come up with more ways to get yourself into trouble,” Nana said. Aw crap, did I really just tell that story to Nana? “It’s not my fault Mary cares more about my health than my hedonism.” And she really likes certain aspects of my hedonism, so imagine how much more she likes me healthy and stuff. “Ya know,” I said for no particular reason, “if you were my real nana, I’d expect to be spoiled with cookies and cake and candy when I come over.” Cookies, cake, and candy: three of the four Cs I love to get my lips around. The other one is … anyhoo … “If you were really my granddaughter, I wouldn’t tell Mary you said that.” “You’re not gonna tell her.” Nice try, Nana, but not fooling me for a second. “I know how hard she works to keep you on the straight and narrow. I don’t mind giving her a hand.” “Mary doesn’t know anything about keeping anyone straight.” True. Story. “Hahahaha! Very smoothly done.” “Thank you.” We kept working for a bit and were interrupted by someone tall and brunette calling, “Hello,” over the fence. “We’re here,” I called back. And then there was Mary looking much happier than when I saw her last, which is just kinda the best. “Hi, Mae,” Mary politely greeted Nana. “You look happier,” I said before Nana could respond. “Cuz I’m done.” “Are we getting any money back?” “Nope. We owe a little.” “Then why do you look so happy?” “Cuz I’m done. I was doing our taxes,” Mary explained to Nana. “Can I get you something,” Nana asked. “We were just about done too.” “Only if it’s no trouble.” “It’s no trouble. Have a seat, and I’ll bring out some lemonade,” Nana said. I waited for her to disappear in the house and quietly asked Mary, “Do all grandmas always have a pitcher of lemonade ready or just the one who lives next to us?” Nana always has a pitcher of lemonade ready. “Maybe she just likes lemonade. Hee!” “What ‘hee’? What’d I miss?” “You.” O my gosh, she’s doing that thing where she puts her hands around my waist and looks at me with that derpy smile on her face. Whereas I am derpy by default but hide it well (What? Really), Mary is at her derpiest when she’s looking at me. “What about me?” I wasn’t fishing for compliments; I was just curious. Play it cool, Daphne. No one likes it when ya just throw it at ‘em. That’s actually not true of course; Mary kinda sorta definitely likes it when I’m so thirsty it’s near a medical condition (which sometimes triggers her orgasm denial kink, and then it really does turn into a medical condition). “You’re dirty,” is what she told me. Like, wow, just straight up reading my mind. “I’m not any dirtier than you, ya big perv.” One of these days, I’m going to seek out an expert on being a brat and ask them how to do it cuz I don’t know how. Really. “Silly goose, I meant you’re dirty. You got a smudge on your face, and you’re sweaty and you smell like yard.” “Lemonade and cookies,” Nana called from the patio, but we were busy. “And you like it when I’m dirty?” “Mhmm. I like it on a warm day when my little girl comes in from playing hard. Makes you look so wholesome, like my own real life Raggedy Daphne Ann.” “I’m not gonna take offense at being called ‘raggedy’ cuz I know you didn’t choose that word.” “You even have the same hair color. You look like you’ve been having young adult adventures and need me to put you in the tub and scrub you clean.” I’m not blushing! You’re blushing! “Our host has cookies,” I reminded her cuz we were borderline being rude, but also reminded myself cuz anything short of a cookie wouldn’t have gotten me to go over to the patio instead of standing in my Mary’s arms being adored. I’d work on her choice of comparison later, but just then we were all gay and held hands to the patio. “Do you have any plans for the summer yet,” Mary asked Nana. “I’m going to the beach for a week with my son and his family, and my friends are meeting me for another week. Other than that, just the regular things.” I wish I had friends to go to the beach with for a week. I mean, I do, but since they work and I don’t, my schedule is a smidge more open than theirs. They can’t take a vacation with their family and another one with me, unfortunately. “What about you,” Nana asked. “We’ve got big plans. We’re taking a trip to the lake for a week, and we’ll probably take a few long weekends, and I’m making a summer reading list for Daffy.” “You are,” I asked. I like reading. Hope it’s mostly erotica because reasons. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we can make a little book club. What did you have in mind for her?” “Age-appropriate things,” Mary smirked. I think she was trying to make a point or something. If she’s not careful, she’s gonna wake up one of these days and find me giving her a very dirty look. That’ll fix her wagon. Mary continued, cuz she’s always continuing, “Anne of Green Gables, Pippi Longstocking, Ramona, and Harriet the Spy.” “Why those,” I asked. “Cuz they’re all about quirky little girls who get into adventures like you.” “I’m not a little girl, and I’m not quirky!” Why are they looking at me like that? I’m so normal my brother nicknamed me ‘Abby Normal’ when we were kids. Yep, that’s how he said it, I think. “And why exactly are you making me a reading list anyway?” “Cuz you need some mental stimulation.” True story, but “I get plenty of mental stimulation. Trying to stay ahead of you takes serious mental energy.” “When’s the last time you stayed ahead of me?” I was gonna answer that, but instead I turned to Nana and said, “See how mean she is to me?” And Nana, bless her heart, had the temerity to reply, “My daughter loved The Babysitters Club. They’re probably still in the basement.” “Daffy could use some help learning to babysit. I called the Red Cross, and they said she’s too old to take their babysitter certification course.” “You did not.” Which is when she looked at me with her maybe-I-did-maybe-I-didn’t face. “Anyway, I read lots.” I’m very well read, actually. Hence my erudition and comfort breaking all the grammar rules whenever I heccin want. At the rate I’m going, there’s gonna be more words in my computer’s dictionary that I made up than there are words it came with. Might take a million years, but I’ll get there. We she-gods are eternal and stuff. “Not as much as you used to.” That’s actually true. “These modern times killed my attention span.” “So some easy books will be perfect. And you’d better read them cuz there will be quizzes.” “You’re gonna make quizzes?” and btw, Nana was still there, of course, probably thinking we’re more entertaining than any of the weirdness on daytime talk shows. “I got them online. There’s all sort of learning aids online these days to help teach little girls.” And then – get this nonsense – she poked me in my side where I’m ticklish. I only a flinched a little. “Fine,” I said to her. I’ll read her stupid books. Maybe they’ll even give me ideas for new ways to misbehave. Like … surveilling people. That’s what Harriet the Spy does, right? Or is that just peeping when you’re an adult? Maybe I’ll just peep at Mary. That’s allowed, most of the time. We munched cookies and kept chatting, and yes, they did that thing where they talk about me like I’m not there for a bit, but at least neither of them saw me rolling my eyes. “Ready to go home and get cleaned up,” Mary asked me. “Sure.” “Thanks for helping me,” Nana said to me. “Anytime. Thanks for getting me into gardening.” No idea if Nana saw Mary goose me on our way back to our own yard, but I’m positive she couldn’t have heard Mary whisper, “Let’s get you into the tub. Is your pull-up still dry?” “It’s sweaty and gross, actually.” “O sure, it’s just sweat.” “It is!” “Mhmm.” “Mary, it is.” “Of course. Whatever you say, silly goose.” “Can I be a silly mongoose instead?” “Nope. You’re too little.” “Marrry!” “Cutie.” “Meanie.”

So I am always asked how did I land such a beautiful woman in my life. First and foremost ill like to say it's not as difficult as many of you may think. Yes you'll find men and woman simply not interested in dating people with kinks and fetishes. When I was single I had that issue as well when I dated before I found lovely partner in crime! If all you have to offer is being in a diaper and pissing/shitting yourself in your parents basement odds are you'll be single for a while. 1. I'd like to start off by saying the chance of find an ABDL person in our community is like striking the lottery and odds of you find my wife or someone like myself is rare. We are not behind every single blade of grass. So how can you drag a wider net. Stop looking for ABDL folks in general. I found that having an ageplay Kink opens up so many more avenue for meeting folks. You'll be amazed when I talk to an ageplayer and they never once crossed their mind to try on a diaper... it happens trust me. So my advice is simply start looking at kinksters and not only ABDL folks as a possible partner. 2. Another thing you have to do is get out of your closet. You won't find a partner behind a screen and refusing to go out and meet these folks that themselves are willing to do. I can't stress enough how important being a part of your local community l. Yes you maybe the only ABDL in your circle and that's fine... I can't tell you how many times over the last decade or so I would be at an event or munch, and other established kinkster drag someone up to me and say "Hi Derek(Yes my name)... This is (Insert name Here) and He/She is in ageplay/diapers/little space etc" and I find another kinkster friendship blooming. I hate this website but use Fetlife for these events. If you say there are no events. Either you are not trying or you're lying to yourself. Everyone that has given me a city I've found events and munches within a short drive. 3. Stop assuming that your inability to find gainful employment isn't a reason to not date you. Wrong. For the guys here. If you live in your parents basement and you don't work. Woman are going to overlook you and whatever you may have to offer because woman want relationship that normally in marriage and kids. That's a fact. I'm not here to debate that fact. You can argue it and I'll block you. Not the point of this post. Woman. You need to really look at how you advertise yourself. Most guys love to toss dollar bills at strippers but how many of those Chad's would marry one? Ask yourself that question honestly. If you have only fans, always asking for hand outs and you think your time is worth $ per minute... you'll have a sad life either 5 cats in your future. 4. Be honest and upfront with your future partner. I can't tell you how often I find someone with a partner for decades hiding this Kink from their partner and wonders why the other feels betrayed. I know it's a risk but this is how I always approach my kinks and bdsm needs with a new partner. It has worked for me and I am sure it can work for you. Simply approach it from a generic perspective. I explained to my wife while we were dating and honestly before out first date. I explained I was into Fetishes and BDSM. I allowed her to ask me what I was into. If you give them hints without dropping the dreaded diaper word and allow them to digest what you said and what you are looking for you will find a better experience. When and if they are open to the notion. All them to move at their pace. Don't bring a diaper on the first date and demand they wear it till it leaks. That's a great way for failure! When you talk to them be prepared for 2 outcomes. Either nah, that's crazy no thank you or be prepared to go down that rabbit hole. I did with my wife. Give her links, what she/he should suspect and allow them to venture into the world of Kink at their pace. 5. Remember that this journey is about both of you. If you can not reciprocate and give them what they need as well. You are setting yourself up for failure. Your relationship is doomed. How many folks have we seen go onto TV and their ABDL parter is a total shit show while their girlfriend is bending over backwards to give then what they need with getting their needs met. Don't be like that guy or girl. 6. Stop coming off as creepy. A lot of folks asked why my wife doesn't engage on many social media sites anymore. The hard ugly truth is... many of you lonely creepy guys continuously email/DM/messaged her disgusting messages or simply treated her like a diapered piece of meat. STOP THAT BEHAVIOR. It's the most unattractive thing there is about our community and this isn't only a guys issues. I see woman doing it as well but normally it's from the other perspective as mentioned. 7. My last piece of advise. Don't settle. If you want a Mommy or Daddy type, Little or Big Type etc. Don't settle. Yes that journey can take a while. If you are willing to walk that road you will find what you are looking for. I did. You can as well... many of us have... simply ask anyone with a partner. They will tell you basically what I would tell you.

Chapter 9: Luna wasn’t sure what had changed but for the first time, she was allowed out of the cage for something other than a diaper change, bath, or doctor’s appointment. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit relieved but a cloud of suspicion still hovered above. She was placed in a large new room full of toys. It was obviously some sort of playroom and perhaps, her plan was working. She’d been docile (well as much as she could be) but didn’t overdo it. She stopped fighting back against the diaper changes, glaring at the employees. Suckled on the adult-sized pacifier. No trouble meant no reaction. It meant more freedom, which was what she had been given. She was put in this type of seat, that hung from the ceiling. Her legs were put through the holes and her toes just reached the ground. It didn’t take long for her to realize this was some sort of bouncer. Luna remembered seeing it once at an amusement park. When the people jumped, it slung them high into the sky. She remembered how they used to jump and jump and jump. Higher and higher, almost as if they were flying. Envy was the only thing she felt. Most little girls dreamed to be a princess. Luna wished to be a bird so she could soar across the open sky. No one could catch her. Now look where she had ended up. As her feet pressed against the foam floor, she bounced up. Not terribly high, but enough she could fully stretch her legs. They were sore and cramped but she continued to jump. The only way past the pain was to work through it and she’d need her stamina if she were to walk out of this place. “Does someone like her bouncer?” the young nurse exclaimed sitting down in front of her. Luna now knew never to trust the smile on her face. She grunted in response, feeling it best to give her some type of acknowledgment. “I think It’s time to play a little game. Does Lulu like the sound of that?” Could she say no? Nurse Lizzie didn’t wait for a response. She covered her face with her hands and slowly said, “I spy with my little eyes, something cute!” A hand shot out and Luna jerked back. Fingers tickled her armpits and desperate, painful giggles bubbled up from her chest. She could just imagine the headlines… Luna MacNamara tickled to death. “Nurse Lizzie also spies with her little eyes, something chubby!” The heat rushed to her cheeks, heaving as her grubby hands squeezed the fat that had formed in her abdomen. Luna had always been a skinny girl, keeping careful watch over her weight. Now, look at her… If the young girl wasn’t sure of its purpose before, she knew now as a pressure formed in her bladder, aching to gush out. No. Her jaw clenched. The woman continued to massage her stomach, not stopping until her bladder finally released. Luna sobbed miserably as the fabric sagged between her thighs and a pungent smell filled her nostrils. Yes, she’d pissed herself plenty of times now but it never got less embarrassing. “Oh, did Lulu make a tinkle for Nursie?” the woman beamed. “No need for tears, little one. It’s normal for babies like you to go peepee. I bet you feel much better now. Little girls like you need to wear protection or else you’d be a mess!” No no no! A screech rose from her throat. She was not a little baby! She wasn’t- “Perhaps it’s sleepy time now… you’ve had a very eventful day.” ooOoo She’d cried herself to sleep, frustrated with her inability to remain calm. The diaper crinkled and squished against her skin with every movement. Was it possible she was wetter? Great. Now she was pissing herself in her sleep. Her eyes wandered around the room in a blur, stopping on the hazy figure outside the bars. Her black hair was tied back into a low bun, extenuating her round full face. She hummed to herself. The Cleaning Lady. Luna didn’t know what her actual name was and didn’t care to know. More or less she was just a pawn in her game and would use her as fit. Perhaps it was frustration that consumed her chaotic mind but Luna didn’t care to find out. She was done being their toy. Waiting was no longer an option because she knew things would only get more fucked up. Her continence was already halfway gone and her body morphed. Pretend her mind hissed. “Bah!” she exclaimed, mouth slack. The woman stopped what she was doing, looking up. Her eyes wandered aimlessly, legs kicking in jerked movements. She was giving the woman just what she was supposed to be. C’mon. Just walk over- bingo. From the corner of her eye, she watched as the woman placed down the mop in the bucket, making her way over. Slobber flung from her mouth as she continued to babble nonsense and wiggle around in the cage. Luna attempted to smile, unsure her lips actually turned up. The numbness had yet to fade leaving her no control of her facial expressions and voice. “Oh, you're such a big baby!” Yeah no shit. The woman cooed, now standing over the cage which left her trapped. Slobber ran down her chin, nonsense noises spewing from her mouth as the woman began to laugh joyously. “You’re a very talkative girl! Ohhh, yes. What’d give to have a little like you.” as her voice quieted, her accent became thicker. Was it Spanish? Portuguese? “Mi Amor.” her voice was just a whisper. “Perhaps you need a little cuddle time with Miss Linda.” “Ma-me.” “Yes, yes. Call me Mami, baby girl.” The woman took that as confirmation. This was too easy. Apparently, everyone here had superhuman strength because it was far too easy to lift her up. She carried her bridal style, one arm rested under her legs and the other on her back and hand rested on her bum. She would’ve complained that her face was smushed against her large breasts but for once her plan was semi-working. She yanked at the white keycard dangling around her neck clumsily. Babies liked to play with random objects. There was nothing abnormal about this. Luna yanked harder, her eyes wandering around the room. The rubber bulb bounced between her lips. “Oh baby,” the woman laughed. “That’s not a toy, sweetie. That’s Mami's keycard. No need to play with that silly thing.” No. there was a huge need. The woman went to move it away and panicking, luna did the only thing she could think to do. A piercing cry broke from her throat, crocodile tears formed in her eyes. “Okay, okay, mi amore.” the woman attempted to calm her by the soft pats on her bum. “You can keep playing, that’s alright sweetheart.” she left the keycard in her hands, the tears subsiding immediately. It didn’t take much to fool the woman as she hummed a simple tune beneath her breath, floating around the room. “My baby girl at home likes to act like she’s a big girl. She makes up silly stories about how she was once a prince. Now she’s my little princess but not very well behaved- not like you. Perhaps, I should adopt you. Lulu is your name, hmm? You remind me of a Lolita- yes, my little Lolita. That shall now be your name.” What drug was this woman on? Perhaps she had misread how easy this task would be. However, any plan she had was quickly dashed as Miss Linda’s head lifted quickly, looking towards the door. Shit. Someone was coming. “Next time, Lolita,” she whispered in her ear, rushing back towards the cage. Next time. Did Luna feel better about her situation? No. Was there hope she’d eventually escape? Yes. Did she think Miss Linda the cleaning lady was batshit crazy? Absolutely. Maybe this wouldn’t be as easy as planned. ooOoo While Luna could not tell the time, she was aware enough to realize that Nurse Ratched was late. She waited for the sound of the sliding doors and clicking of heels on the tiled ground but they never sounded. It could have been an hour. Maybe two. But the diaper was full and swollen between her thighs in a disgusting mash of piss and feces. She could handle maybe five minutes of laying in this mess but it had been probably close to five hours now she predicted. Ever so slowly the waste crept up her back and Luna wasn’t dumb. They were punishing her for something, she just didn’t know what. That probably pissed her off the most. If they were going to humiliate her, make it quick and be done with it. She could handle her ass being beaten. That was nothing compared to what she would do to them someday. A cry was heard. Luna knew there was another girl in the room… Willow, did they call her? Or Wilma or something like that. Frankly, she didn’t care to learn her name because she was just another thorn in her side. The girl had some strange hold over the nurses that she would never be able to understand. When the girl did something wrong, it was more a scolding she received. When Luna did something wrong, it was straight-up world war three. The favoritism was apparent and not that she cared. It just wasn’t very pleasant laying in her own filth. Take for example- five, four, three, two, one… Click. Click. Click. “Oh, baby… someone’s a stinky girl! Let’s get you changed.” the woman cooed, her voice echoing throughout the room. The young girl watched as the older nurse walked by, girl in her arms, ignoring her pressing glare. She wasn’t the only stinky girl. Luna promised that she would not lower herself to begging for a change. You promised yourself, Luna. A grumble sounded through her stomach and heat rose to her cheeks. “Uh oh!” she could hear the woman gasp. “I think someone else is in need of a little change!” Yes, yes, please! Her mind screamed in protest to the turmoil that also consumed her body. “We’ll get to her later, don’t worry Willa. With Nurse Lizzie busy, I can only do so much at once.” Later? Her fingers, free from mitts, tightened into fists. Remain calm, Luna… remain calm. “Lulu is such a naughty girl. They can’t all be like you, such a sweet little angel.” Blood rushed through her ears, heart pumping in her chest. Voices turned to muffled sounds as her breathing came out in gasps. “You’re being so good, sweetie. I think Lulu can wait till tomorrow.” Rarely did she break down but desperate times called for desperate measures. Fuck dignity. If they wanted a baby, a baby was what they would get. ooOoo AN: Hey everyone! I apologize it has been so long!! I’ve been so busy with school work and some friends came to visit so I’ve spent all my time with them! As you can see, Luna is kinda going crazy and remaining calm is not easy for her. Stay tuned for what will happen next. I really appreciate everyone reading and reviewing, I really love when you do! I should update again soon!

So far so good this month, but we're still only at 59% of our goal. Remember, we fell short last month by $80. I hate to imagine Mikey & his Mom surviving on Top Ramen and stale crackers during the last week of any given month. After all he's done for us with this website, it seems fair we reciprocate with love and money. After all, NO one wants to see this place become a pay-site ! So please...do whatever you can, folks ! ?

I think my first words were "Why me?"

Dry but frigid here. 21 degrees tonight.

Chapter 55: Technically... Tuesday. “Okie dokie, Clark,” Mrs. Beouf said to me. “For today, I want you to paint a frog, okie dokie?” I didn’t react. I just stood there at the easel, lightly nodding. “You can paint the frog any color you want, too. Okie dokie?” My eyes were wide open constantly scanning the periphery like a meerkat searching for predators. My tongue kept licking the inside of my teeth. “Clark?” I nodded, still saying nothing. In my mind I looked like some kind of ghost standing there with the paintbrush clutched in my fist, staring directly ahead. An old and worn button up shirt was draped backwards over my chest so that I was fastened up in the back. The makeshift smock was already splattered from years and years of continual use, and the bunched up sleeves dwarfed my arms. Along the easel’s ledge were several cups of tempera paint. I was the ghost of adulthood past, with all my life crumbled around me and nothing left to look forward to but to...paint a fucking frog. “Clark?” I bobbed my head lightly. “Clark? Honey? Do you wanna go lay down in the nap room?” My head didn’t shake as much as oscillated like a fan. “No ma’am.” My voice came out quiet but clear; not a hint of sleepiness in it. Sleep wouldn’t come for me. I’d refused its advances. “Are you sure?” More bobbing. “Yes, ma’am. Paint the frog. I’ll paint the frog.” “If you want, you can curl up in a beanbag over by the reading center. Nobody’s using it right now.” I’d already used the reading center. Not for reading of course. Nooks and crannies to not be seen were becoming a premium. That semi-closed off feeling was the closest I got to a bathroom stall. Oscillating head. “No thank you. I want to paint.” That was a lie, of course. I didn’t dare put in words what I wanted to do. Were I large enough to be taken seriously, those words might have put me in jail. “Okay, honey.” Beouf didn’t quite believe me but didn’t feel like pressing the point . “Call me if you need me. I’ll leave you be.” Music to my fucking ears. Beouf went to direct my other classmates doing their cutesy late morning activities. Painting. Coloring worksheets. Sand tables. Dancing and movement games projected onto the whiteboard. This was the part I had missed on my first day thanks to my breakdown. After the group centers, there were whole group activities- reading of Amazon propaganda and the like- followed more independent activities. Skinner, Winters, and Sosa came in for ‘speech’, ‘PT’, and ‘OT’ respectively and snatched Littles up in ones and twos for half-hour segments. There they would practice dulling skills and shaping behaviors to be worse than they started. Those not picked for extreme gaslighting that day were given these inane preschool activities to do. It was the kind of stuff that I didn’t put as much time into back in my own classroom because I was still responsible for academics. For actual children, playing in a sand table might be a treat at the end of a week if not a longer period of time for a job well done. For us Littles it was much more frequent; a normalization in infantilization. I was at the painting station. Apparently, I was supposed to “paint a frog”. Clipped to the side of the easel was a photograph of a frog for reference. Most days before this, I might have come up with some pithy observation, but I was too tired; emotionally blown up. Not sleepy. Just bone, dead ass tired. There’s a difference, I’d found. After staying up all night cursing at Janet through the baby monitor, I was woken up, changed, dressed in toddler clothes and then carted off to school. It was like my previous breakdown had never happened. Not so much as an extra day off to grieve. I wasn’t even asked. Janet made no comment about the contents of my diaper, but she’d gone heavy on the rash cream. The training chocolate had done its work and then some. She seemed wary of me from our last interaction, but far from exhausted. Someone had gotten a good night’s sleep. I made no reply when she’d asked if I’d slept well. “Must’ve slept well for all this poopy to come out and you not cry out. What did you eat to have all this go through you?” “Chocolate…” “When did you…?” She stopped and left it at that. I didn’t want to have that conversation anyways. The only thing worse than Mommy crazy Janet was sympathetic and regretful Janet. I just kept quiet. Not resisting anything, but not contributing unless asked and only the bare minimum at that. No schemes went through my head that morning. No tears came out of my eyes. An advantage of being bone tired is that it’s harder for you to feel feelings. Your body goes on autopilot survival mode and your brain becomes a crocodile. What is food? What isn’t? Where’s the danger? Where’s safety? No good or bad. No love or regret or sorrow. Just numbness. Your body becomes so tired that you’re not really you; but an avatar of yourself. I was playing the world’s most boring MMO and the mission objective was “Paint a Frog”. Zero experience points or gold awarded, but the game wouldn’t progress until I did. No cut scenes either. Running on adrenaline and spite...mostly spite, I had shambled through the day, feeling nothing. Breakfast. Circle Time. Centers. I was basically a cross between a zombie and a turtle; uttering few words beyond proving I was alive. Just doing what was asked of me but no more. Feeling numb. I needed the numbness after yesterday. There had been only one time when I hadn’t felt numb and that was when the bus unloaded that morning. No Cassie; adopted or otherwise. How messed up was it that I was looking for her? It was stupid to even get my hopes up by that much. Beouf’s class had a waiting list. If Cassie got adopted by someone in Oakshire there were any number of run of the mill Little-centric daycares that would take her, (and one particularly awful one). I was never going to see… No...no...don’t think about it. Just stay numb. Paint the frog. Paint the frog, shamble through the rest of the day. Go to sleep. Rinse and repeat forever. I winced as a cramp went through me. At least I was starting to feel the cramps again. I’d needed changing after snack time and the load in the back of me had practically teleported in there. I liked to imagine that cramps meant the training chocolate was almost out of my system. More likely, it just meant I’d get a warning before I uncontrollably soiled myself. Don’t think about it. Just stay numb. Paint the frog. I dipped the paint brush into the non-toxic paint. Blue. Why not a blue frog? “Paint the frog,” I sighed. “Paint the frog.” I leaned in and started to drag the brush across the art paper. Paint the frog. This was just busy work. The whole thing was busy work. We weren’t learning. Not what they were explicitly teaching us. They’d convinced themselves that I was just a dumb baby anyways. I could literally paint anything, call it a frog, and they’d be happy about it. Possibly happier if it was particularly inaccurate. I wasn’t even angry. Not even annoyed at this point. Too drained of everything to be annoyed. I’d lost it all. My wife was adopted. My house burned down. My career over. My personhood legally rebooted and kept in a holding pattern. To top it all off, the inevitable next few days of near helplessly filling my pants would cement everything the giants already thought of me. I wasn’t even mad at Raine, to be honest. It was hard to get mad at the scorpion for stinging. It’s what it did. The most painful thing, the thing that threatened even numbness born out of trauma, grief, and spite was the looming and ever-present fact that people like Beouf, Janet, and even Zoge were just as bad as Raine. I had fooled myself into thinking they were my friends and protectors, but they were no better than her. That’s why I was stuck in Beouf’s classroom having to paint the frog. I paused. Beouf was no better than Raine. Paint the frog. All Amazons were crazy. Paint the frog. They’d convinced themselves… Paint. …that I was a baby… The. No matter what… Frog. Clark; the reasonable, professional adult with complex thoughts and feelings that were considered by his peers and coworkers? He was gone as far as the Amazons were concerned; assuming he’d existed at all to them. I couldn’t rely on that perception or that approach. My captors were immune to it. But Clark the trickster; Clark the manipulator; dare I say it, Clark the daredevil? Clark of the infinite poker face, master of playing dumb, architect of the Silly Sock Day Fiasco. I looked and felt like a ghost. If Mr. Gibson, pre-k teacher of Oakshire Elementary was well and truly gone, what did I have left of me? Let’s show them. With bold, precise strokes, I dipped my paint brush into the tempera again and made my mark upon the paper. One coat. Two coats. I had to use the entirety of the medium made available to me, and make it clear in no uncertain terms who and what I was. Beouf wanted art? Then she’d get it. Like a tiny mischievous god I stepped back and looked at what I had wrought. I waited quietly until Zoge went on a bathroom break. “All done!” I announced, gesturing to the finished masterpiece. My demeanor had changed entirely. The zombie man-child dragging his everything replaced with an all too cheery, all too sinister smile. The same weary eyes in my head were still there, animalistic, only now they had gone from prey to predator. Beouf turned around from the sand table where she was playing with Ivy. “Hmmm?” Then she saw it. Her eyes lit up in surprise. Her lip pouted out and her eyebrows lowered immediately in question. “Clark? What did you-?” She wasn’t even sure if she should be mad or not. Just confused. The easel lay virtually untouched. Just a few random paint splatters from where I hadn’t bothered to take care so that I more fully completed the effect. The unlaminated photo of the tree frog, however… “You said I should paint the frog, Mrs. B! So I did!” From corner to corner, the entire surface was caked in blue paint. If someone had told you that there was a picture of a frog underneath, you’d have to either call them a liar or take their word for it. My former coworkers wanted a baby? Someone who was thirty-two years and just over twelve months at the same time? Then they’d get it. This. This was my art. As expected, Beouf’s lips retreated from her face. “Ha….haha…hahahahahahahaha!” She doubled over laughing. “Oh my goodness! Clark!” A few giant strides and she was back over me, her neck spasming and her trying to look away, yet unable to make herself. A cross between a cavalcade of whimsy and a car wreck. Ivy looked up from her sand. Chaz stopped trying to pop bubbles being spit out by a machine. Billy and Annie stopped trying to subtly grope each other and call it the Hokey Pokey. All eyes were on us. No. All eyes were on me. Beouf dug into her pocket and took out her phone. “I’ve gotta take a picture of this and show your Mommy!” Gladly I stood by my masterpiece and grinned like I’d just won a prize. If only Beouf had known. This really wasn’t my masterpiece. I hadn’t won anything yet. This was merely phase one. “That is just too stinkin’ cute,” Beouf gushed. Her phone clicked, immortalizing what was yet to come. “So clever!” She started chuckling to herself again. “I did say ‘paint the frog’.” “Yup yup!” I chirped like a good Little boy. “I’m real good at this!’ “You always have been, sweetie.” Beouf replied. “It’s just coming to the surface more often. That’s a good thing.” I threw my hands up into the air. “YAAAAAAY! I DID IT!” “YOU DID IT!” Chaz, Annie, and Billy stared at me like a second head had shot out of my mouth. Ivy just copied me. “YAAAAAAAY! CLARK DID IT!” Tittering to herself, Beouf went back to her desk and picked up her classroom phone. She was still standing up and at the wrong end of her desk, so her back was to me. Yes! “Hello. Ms. Grange? This is Mrs. Beouf. Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you what Clark did just now. No, no, no. Nothing like that! He’s fine! He’s good! Little out of it, little grumpy this morning, but he just did the cutest thing and I had to tell you about it.” She punctuated her sentence with another laugh. Time for phase two. I looked to Chaz sitting on a laminated floor mat dotted by sudsy speckles from popped bubbles. “Chaz…” I mouthed. I jerked my head towards the easel. “C’mere…” The teenager crawled up to me. “What?” he whispered. “Say ribbit.” I told him quietly. “Say it loud.” “Huh? Why?” He followed my gaze over to Beouf. “I know! Right? I did say ‘paint the frog’. He got me there.” She was shaking her head. Laughing at herself as much as me. Let’s really give her something to laugh about. “You heard her,” I hissed. “I’m allowed to paint the frog.” A dopey, adrenaline fueled smile that a plane could fly through appeared on Chaz’s mug. “RIBBIT! RIBBIT!” My brush struck out. It wasn’t as neat as my original creation; I missed a spot here and there; but within seconds Chaz was smeared with non-toxic blue tempera paint from ear to ear. Forehead, nose, chin, cheeks. The whole shebang. It almost looked like a race track or a fancy treasure hunt path like in those painfully unfunny comic strips. Beouf was still on the phone talking with her co-conspirator. Zoge was still out to the faculty bathroom. “Hey, have you been noticing some loose stool from him? Tummy problems maybe? No, no. It’s not too too bad but I saw the rash cream when I changed him this morning and he needed more. Yeah. Two in one day seems odd unless something is upsetting his…-” Chaz waved over Annie and Billy. “Guys. Beouf said Clark could paint frogs!” The same look of understanding dawned on the couple’s faces. “I want Green,” Billy said. “RIBBIT!” he got green. I opted for a zig zag method. I was an artist after all. “Do my hands, too!” BRILLIANT! COLLABORATION! I coated Billy’s palms and he dragged them over the back of his forearms and neck. Very kind of him to not mar my original work. “Ribbit!” “Paint the frog!” Annie was next. “I want yellow. Ribbit.” She pulled her bangs back and closed her eyes. “Careful. Don’t mess up my hair.” I shrugged “Why? It’s not like you’re going to have to wash it yourself.” Annie opened her eyes and let her hair down. “Good point.” I started with the hair. Water soluble or not, it’d be a pain to get out. Not my pain, though. “Here,” a very green and gloppy Billy offered. “Let me help.” He reached for another paintbrush. I slapped his hand away with mine. For a split second he looked like he wanted to deck me. “Mrs. Beouf said that it’s MY job to paint frogs.” I said. “We wouldn’t want to be breaking any rules, would we?” Billy nodded appreciatively. “Ribbit. Ribbit. No we wouldn’t, would we?” “What do you mean chocolate? Did he specifically say chocolate?” Ivy went so far as to get down on all fours and leap over to the easel. “Rrrriiiiiibit.” She wanted in on the fun too. I started scanning for the best color that would clash with her dress. Bright red, perhaps. Turning around revealed strange, uncomfortable looks. My three newest cohorts were giving Ivy a quiet but distinct case of stink eye and that gaze was starting to drift towards me. “Ribbit! Rrribbit!” Ivy hopped some more. “Paint the frog!” I put the paint back. “Sorry Ivy… “You what?!” Beouf practically shrieked. Her tone was no longer so casual. Meanwhile… “Your Mommy will be back from her potty break any second. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” I gambled on technically following rules and expectations in one breath and claimed Ivy might get in trouble with the next. I’m going to be honest. Looking back on that, it was not my proudest moment. In that moment though, I needed allies and friends, not playmates. “Oh, honey,” Beouf started to turn around. “You and I have got to talk on the phone later tonight. I think that…” She saw our gaggle of painted Littles gathered around my easel. “Gotta-go-I’ll-call-you-back!” She hung up the phone. Her body posture was somewhere between panicked and storming. Chaz spoke first. “Ribbit!” Billy and Annie followed suit. “Ribbit! Ribbit!” “Paint the frog! Paaaaaint the frog!” Ivy whined. The door opened. Perfect timing. Zoge, and the therapists came back with the other half of the class. “Good job today Tommy,” Sosa said. “Now can I please see Aaaaaa-?” They froze, taking in the situation. Chaz started crawling and hopping as best as he could on four feet. Annie and Billy puffed their cheeks out so that their faces had maximum surface area. Ivy, bless her heart, started hopping around too, trying to be part of it all. “What’s going on here?” Zoge asked, genuinely startled. My classmates were much less worried and much more vocal. A cacophony of discordant giggles bubbled into eruption. In less than five minutes I’d managed to subvert and disrupt an entire organized play routine and add clean up to the mix. “Oh no!” Shauna howled with delight. “And I just got changed half an hour ago!” Jesse was collapsed on the ground, clutching his sides. “Me too! Don’t care! Ribbit ribbit!” “I wanna be a frog!” “Me too!” “RIBBIT!” Zoge stepped in front of the newly arrived ones. She didn’t yell and I could barely hear her. I couldn’t see her face, either. She only said one word. “Children…” The therapists formed a perimeter. Mass Teacher Glare. Realizing they were cut off from us and surrounded, the ones who had missed the opening act clammed up. Seeing Mrs. Beouf adopt a similar pose, Chaz, Billy, and Annie took similarly submissive postures. Ivy toddled over and clung to her Mommy’s skirt. No matter. It was time for the finale. I gazed up at the god of this classroom. “I was trying to be good, Mrs. B.” I lied. “You told me to paint the frog!” I gestured around to my croaking comrades. “What else was I supposed to do?” Beouf puffed air out. “I…I…” She shook her head, torn somewhere between anger and exasperation. “You. I… Hm.” I put on my best confused Little face. “Did I do something wrong, ma’am? Do I hafta go to time out in Miss Tracy’s room?” I’d concede that space as Tracy’s. Never my replacement’s. “Clark, you kn-“ “You just looked so happy that you called my Mommy when I painted one frog and…I just…I mean…I wanted you to…” I looked at the classroom, feigning confusion and being overwhelmed as if finding out for the first time that I had done bad. I had gone from beyond exhausted straight to the top of my game. I could have gotten an award for this performance. “Clark.” “Yeah Mrs. B.?” I looked away, pretending to be fearful and repentant. She blustered. Grunted. “Mrs. Zoge?” “Yes ma’am?” “Take Clark and the others. Let’s do Circle Time again and maybe another story before lunch.” “Yes ma’am.” Beouf grabbed one of the ever-present packets of wipes from around her room. “I’ll clean the others up.” “I’ll help!” I offered. The teacher’s chin jutted out. “No thank you, Clark. I think you’ve helped enough for now..” Victory. On the way to the sitting circle, the therapists passed me coolly and took some wipes to help speed things up. It must be nice to have coworkers to pitch in. I had new kinds of coworkers, I supposed. They’d definitely pitched in. “That was very…creative, Clark,” Zoge said. “Don’t do it again, though.” “Yes ma’am,” I promised. That wasn’t a lie, either. I wouldn’t mess with the paint ever again. Why be terrible the same way when I could find new and creative ways every day to push their buttons?

"No! Stop! Please... argh!" Natasha convulsed helplessly, grasping for his wrists, wriggling to avoid his probing fingers. It didn't help her, his greater strength pinning her down and he remorselessly tickled her just above her hips. Flailing uncontrollably Natasha felt pain as her forearm made contact, realised she'd caught him, heard a horrible wet grinding sound. He screamed, a terrible sound, and fell back, freeing her. His hands went to his face, and already she could see blood passing through his fingers. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed, "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" Ice and cloths to mop up the blood brought his bleeding under control. He looked at her, obviously in pain, his proud nose now pointing sideways, and Natasha's heart sank. "Come on," she said, "Lets get you to the hospital." The triage nurse rapidly assessed him. "We'll be with you soon," she assured, "please wait here." Natasha went to find them both drinks, brought back coffee, found him sat there wincing, blinking up at her and shaking his head as she arrived. "I'm so sorry," she said again, "but you'll be ok." "You're sorry?" asked a voice, "You didn't..?" Natasha turned, found a smartly dressed woman stood there, a name tag identifying her as a doctor. "I didn't mean to," explained Natasha, "He was tickling me and.." "Well, lets get him sorted," said the doctor. "Could you wait here and we'll be back soon." That was the last Natasha saw of him until the trial. -- "He was just tickling you?" asked the prosecutor. "Yes," replied Natasha, not offering further detail. "And you've been together how long?" "A few months." Natasha knew it was five months, two weeks and three days but her legal defence team had told her to provide only short terse answers. The prosecutor seemed satisfied anyway, but continued with his questioning "Are intimacy and displays of affection part of your relationship?" "Oh, yes," said Natasha in surprise, "he's really very sweet." "So why," demanded the prosecutor, "did you assault him?" The judge hadn't been sympathetic. "Domestic violence has no excuses," he stated, "and so I have choice but to impose a custodial sentence." The judicial system demanded punishments appropriate to the crime. Natasha pleaded with the judge, "Please, don't break my nose. I'll behave, agree to your sentence, but please, show mercy." The judge knew she would make this plea; he'd discussed it with the prosecutor and her defence team. The prosecutor had suggested an alternative but still suitable option. "For the next four weeks," he told her, "You will be taken from your cell twice a day and subjected to half an hour of tickling." Natasha gasped, but said nothing. Better than a broken nose, awful but tolerable. Just four weeks and she'd be free again, able to resume her life. At least she'd get respite on Sundays. -- "She what?" asked the Governor in astonishment, "She actually struck you?" "Yes," replied the guard, "It was her first tickling session. We followed standard procedure, let her lie on the padded workbench, and then I went to work." "So Natasha," asked the Governor directly looking at her, "Why did you assault my member of staff?" "I didn't mean to," sniffled Natasha, sank low in her seat, a submissive posture even without the shackles restricting her movement. "It's.. when I'm tickled.. I can't help it." "You're saying that you have no control?" asked the Governor, "That does not excuse assault, and you should have asked us for help with this." His verdict made Natasha's heart sink. Another four weeks, and he assured her that the punishment regime would be continued. But that wasn't the worse part. "You must promise not to attack my staff," he demanded. "I promise. Oh, I don't want this to continue," sobbed Natasha, "But.. when I'm tickled. I can't help it." "Are you saying you can't control yourself?" asked the Governor. "Umm. Yes. Help?" begged Natasha. "We can't forego the tickling," said the Governor. "We can however restrain you for your own protection, if that's what you want?" Natasha blushed as she realised the Governor expected her to ask to be restrained. "I, erm. Oh." She paused, looked around the room, desperate to escape the situation. The Governor waited patiently, impassive. He knew he couldn't force her into restraints, his options limited to punishment should she further misbehave. Natasha knew she would have to do it. "Umm. Can you please restrain me when I'm tickled?" she asked, and immediately burst into tears. -- The cuffs were strangely comfortable. The ones around Natasha's ankles were tethered to the bench with long ropes, allowing her to wriggle and move her legs; just not kick out at someone stood by her waist. Her wrists were fastened above her head, again on tethers that let her bring her hands to her own face, rub away the tears that had formed as they fastened her down. The cuffs and tethers were strong too. She tested them fully when the tickling started, her fight or flight instincts demanding action, refusing to let her just lie there, accept the torment. Her struggles were futile. The tickling continued, gentle but relentless, the guard trying to avoid hurting her but make her laugh. The laughing hurt. Halfway through the session the guard jumped back. "Oh, you dirty," she shouted, before regaining control and stopping. She glared at Natasha and gestured to a damp patch on her uniform. "You pissed on me! Oh, that's not good." The Governor agreed. "You promised not to assault my staff," he said, "and attacking them with urine is a revolting assault." "I didn't meant to! I couldn't help it! I must have lost control." Natasha wept as she admitted wetting herself, horrified as much by that as the inevitable consequences it had for her. "I've heard this before," observed the Governor, "and you know the response." Another four weeks. She'd been there less than a day and already Natasha had managed to triple her term. "But I can't help it," she whined, "you have to understand." "Oh, I understand," said the Governor, "But fitting the punishment to the crime here would be unsanitary. I can't ask the guards to urinate on you." Natasha was shocked into silence. She'd imagined more tickling, and suddenly realised she might be facing something much worse. "I can however impose a punishment that's suitable to the offence," said the Governor, "You claim you can't help wet on people? Well you can wet yourself." -- Natasha pulled futilely at her bonds. Three weeks in and she still couldn't stand the tickling, couldn't stop struggling, still needed those soft restraints that kept her safe, stopped her extending her sentence. "Oh dear, did someone just wet herself?" taunted the guard, pausing the tickling to pat the padding over Natasha's pubic mound. Natasha moaned, realising that she'd lost control another way, again. She knew she'd have wet herself eventually, the 24 hour regime of wearing diapers excused only for bowel movements, and even those occasionally catching her unawares. The tickling resumed and Natasha started laughing, forced to exhibit amusement at her suffering. Even that wasn't what concerned her. After hearing about the outcome of the first session the judge had added an additional rider to her sentence: Natasha would have to endure her final tickling with no restraints, and demonstrate that she had the control needed to be safe for release. If she failed, the sentence would be renewed. Natasha knew she was in trouble. In nine weeks and every four weeks after that, she faced being sentenced to another four weeks of tickling, knowing she would be diapered, forced to beg for restraints to hold her in place as she was subject to the humiliation of wetting herself, again and again.

I'll stop short of storming, but its raining on the morning of a cycle tour here in Cape Town. Stay safe. There are enough accidents in the dry.

You cannot take experience away from anyone. You can try to deny it or label as misogynistic but. Damn. I have always seen in interactions with people, a woman is interested in a guy or starts dating, and her friends (man or woman, stop assuming) always ask, what does he do? Where is he from? Does he live alone? Part of it is status but also the other part is sniffing out to see if you're a reliable character with priorities in order. Head on straight. Responsible. Capable of creative a good future. It's totally true. Especially in our time, one income is not enough to make it. Unless you're extremely successful. It takes 2 to make it work on average, and if you're not pulling your weight but just like diapers, it's going to be lonely.

I have a partner that participates in AB activities. I met her through FetLife but we are more than our mutual fetish. When we met online I was already a regular at the local Kansas City munches. As you know Awaken, I was active in the littles community with friends both local and at some distance. We are a couple first and diapers are just a part of that. I'm going to agree with what Awaken said in this thread. He was giving everybody a road map for how to arrive where they want to be. The map he put out there isn't the only way to get there. Others have arrived at the same place through luck or chance or because they knew someone. He was trying to give everybody a map of the most reliable way of getting there. Sort of like saying take the interstate rather than Route 66. If someone gives you a roadmap but your too scared to drive you're likely never going to get there. You have to drive and that means getting out and actually meeting somebody. Can you do it in the DD chat room? Sure you can but honestly do you really want to leave it to blind luck? Think of it as the lottery, spending time in the chat room is like buying your weekly ticket or two but you wouldn't use that as your means of supporting yourself would you? I've been to Capcon twice. It's one of the best things I've ever done. I've met people from all over North America and some from overseas. These were real people sharing the littles experience in whatever flavor they loved. There are places and events there for those identifying as middles or tweens. They aren't interested in wearing diapers but they can relate because we all share age play. There are munches most everywhere through FetLife but they are not going to call you up and beg you to come. You have to take the initiative. You have to join and set up a page. You have to look up the littles groups and events in your vicinity. If you don't see a group or munch within your area then make one yourself. Think of it as your Field of Dreams. If you build it they will come. We're not even talking about investing money to do these things. The munches I went to were in a room in a restaurant and everybody just paid for what they wanted to eat or drink. There were times someone just had water and hung out and that was great. Hugs, Freta

Thank Freta. Honestly we all have experiences with relationships. My actual intention of this thread was to actually start a conversation of what to do and not do when looking for a partner. These suggestions are simply my perspective and those that have others I'd encourage them to add them. What I didn't want to happen was bashing one another for their perspectives when seeking out a partner.

For me, how often isnot afterhow long, but how wet? Some times it has been as little as 13 hours and many times. 24, once, 25. When Linda and I were put in the children's version of this 67 ot 8 years ago when I would sleep over at her house, it would be from 7 at night to 9 in the moring, then, if I was staying over for a couple od days before I was 8, it would be from 9 to 7 When the rubber diaper was added to my night diapers when I was 8-3/4 because I did not get out of bed to stand up and wet once, and out of daytime diapers since Linda and I could hold it comfortably for more than 2 hours, I would be taken out of my night diaper at lunchtime and still be very dry I have been in this one since about 9 last night, first wetting at midnight, it is now 4:52 and am in no hurry to change. I feel so feminine and little. I could go for a full week of 25/7 with a dozen BabyDoll diapers

It's good to air out once in awhile (if you can). Makes for a much comfortable feeling when you go back to wearing...

I imagine that it would depend on the Amazon. Beouf, Janet and Zoge definately believe and to see stuff like this as a calculated trick would challenge that. Forrest and Brollish definitely strike me as knowing maturosis is bs but pay lip service to it because they know its just the newest justification society uses for how littles are treated.

I had the same thing happen to me as well when I tried taping it back on when I did number 2 at work in the toilet. The tapes ripped right off and scared the crap out of me because I had to find a way to dispose of the diaper. Thank goodness I was in charge of garbage that night. Anyway, the design is great but the tapes are terrible. They don't stay on or they rip. Also, I really didn't think it held as much as the plastic backed diapers I am use to. To be fair I am not a fan of cloth backed diapers, but the design reminded me so much of pampers that I gave it a shot. Then they reminded me why I don't like cloth backed diapers and promised never to try this diaper or any other cloth diapers for a long time.

Thank you for picking that up! Shame on those with early access for not pointing it out! ? Edited and fixed! And I'm really happy that you're enjoying it so far! I hope you continue to enjoy it and I really hope to keep surprising you all ? Thank you! She's immune to standard hypnosis and nanites. She's still gotta be on alert for people developing new things to work against her, as she's put a massive target on her back. No doubt lots of people trying to adopt her now! I was so excited to properly return to the original couple, I know a lot of people wanted more. And as for her policies... she's very much being run on a single issue, hoping to win the vote and change everything for littles, it'll be the party that sets the other policies she's running for. Thankfully, she's picked a very left-leaning party to run with. I'm sure that could be arranged when she returns. But you'd have to schedule it between her naptime and her nursing, which can be difficult. Plus she's in meetings most of the time with her stuffies... Life of a busy little I suppose... ?

I agree with the idea of the name change, I thought of that as well as I was thinking about this. In the skin color example I provided, notice I had mentioned in the second part of the clarification to a hypothetical preference "...despite being able to respect and coexist together in normal societal situations." My example is supposed to be somewhere along the lines of a person liking all girls in general, but sexually they prefer <insert preference here>. I'm still not so sure though that r/girlsindiapers is transphobic in the sense that some are implying. I didn't see them say anywhere that anyone identifying as trans can't post comments or opinions on content shared in that Reddit, it's just seems more along the lines of not posting trans girls wearing diapers. But again to agree with your opening line, it might save many people the understandable frustration this leads to if they were to rename themselves r/cisgirlsindiapers.

There are so many Reddit channels out there with many different intentions. Looking at the intent of /rgirlsindiapers: About Community A subreddit for the sharing/linking of pictures, gif's and videos of adult girls wearing diapers. Pornographic in nature, but always 18+! * It looks as though this channel is claiming it is dedicated to the aspect of providing pornographic material, which like it or not can also be dubbed as "Jack off material". I'm guessing a high percentage of people that frequent the DailyDiapers site possess some level of a sex drive and enjoy to relieve it through masturbation. And many falling into this bracket do not have hangups about it or viewing pornography. For anyone that chooses to use porn while they relieve their urges, we all know that many of us have a specific preference or multiple preferences during that heat of the moment. If we were to use the example of someone that wanted to look at sexy pictures of women during masturbation, anyone that is mature and "views porn responsibly" can do so without narrowly viewing women is only worthy of Jack off material, particularly if the picture was from a source intending to provide such material as /girlsindiapers does. If the stated intent of the community said something to the effect of "to provide women a space to discuss issues and share experiences and to provide general support to one another (etc.)", and such a space stated that they did not want any post from transgender women, then I would say that would be transphobic in nature. I myself have identified on the spectrum of trans since I was a kid, and I've been on HRT since I was 24. The last thing I want to see is discrimination or hostilities toward us or any group. However, when it comes to internet communities providing categories for people to explore and enjoy their sexual preferences within, I understand why there might be specific categories that cater to a certain preference. If I were to state a question in an attempt to draw a parallel, should somebody be deemed a racist if they prefer to have sexual relations or fantasies about a given skin color or ethnic backgrounds while excluding others despite being able to respect and coexist together in normal societal situations? I think it comes down to the fact is that some people prefer white, some people prefer black, some people prefer cis, and some people prefer trans. Looks like /girlsindiapers intends to provide stimuli for those that prefer cis girls wearing some form of waterproof underwear.

Welcome

I love the way dry diapers feel the best, but I can enjoy them wet as well If I could change my diapers by myself, I would probably do so every three or four hours to minimize how saturated they get. However, since I rely on my aid to change me, I can only do so when she is at the house. My morning aid gets me showered, diapered, then dressed for the day. I'm then on my own from about 10 AM to 7:30 PM. On average I start wettings every 20 to 40 minutes starting around noon time, and this continues throughout the day depending on how much fluid I drink of course. I definitely invest in good quality diapers, because my output is probably about 1200 to 1500 mL during the afternoon. My diaper is soaked by around dinner time. Once my evening aid arrives, I get into bed to put my feet up and watch TV or use my laptop. Of course upon transferring my wet diaper is removed. I feel very relaxed having a nice dry diaper snuggly taped on. However the way my body urinates during the overnight is a little bit of a different because the minute I put my feet up on the bed, the fluids from my lower extremities start to circulate more freely. Basically in less than an hour my bladder is already filling and soon starts spontaneously voiding. This leaves me peeing all night long. Ideally it would be great to have a nurse that could change my diaper at three or four in the morning, but that's a lot of resources and thankfully my skin holds up very well to being in diapers. As such I use a good quality diaper for overnight, and I also sleep on top of waterproof pads. I'm usually awoken around 8:30 or 9:00 AM where everything is thoroughly soaked. Soon after waking up, my morning aid takes my diaper off, gets me and my shower chair, then back into bed where I'm diapered and dressed allowing my day new day to start all over.

My diapers are made with the idea of the longer you can go between changes, the better, which was the rule then. This save Mommy or Nursie a good deal of work Being in wet diapers also encouraged an over-age wtter to change her ways if she could. This also depended on the attitude towards the person If she was a "nice girl", she would be kind of catered to and changed as soon as it was possible, sh she could be kept in thinner diapers. This was called "kept dry". If she was not, meaning if she was demanding or had some other undesirable behavior, or was being specifically punished or chastized, then, to show dissatisfaction with her, she was put in thick diapers and "kept wet" until she became more co-operative. Mostly, this was a physical punishment that was used as an alternative to spanking, which was considered wrong to do to girls as it would coarsen them. Not only was being in diaperes and rubber panties making you a baby, but being wet made it even more so and being ket wet when one could be changed showed some contempt for the little one; "you are a little baby and are being made to feel and smell like on so that you will not forget" Even if one were to be changed at reasonable intervals, thicker diapers kept you drier longer If you were in a diaper that would go for 8 hours, and were not being chastized, it was likely that you would be changed in 4 or, if it was part of being dressed for a long trip, then you would be taken out of diapers when you arrived, but it was still humiliating for a girl over 4 who was trying to be a big gbirl because diapers and rubber panties "are for babies" The placement of the bathroom could also be an issue. where I lived, it was at the bottom of the stairs and the first turn left so that was no problem, although when I was as old as 6, I still had some close ones at 2 AM. Sometimes, it might be on the other side of the house from the stairs, or in the basement or maybe there was no indoor access to the basement where the toilet was, in which case you had to go outside, around the side of the house to the basement door, go in, turn the light on and go. These were usually smaller cottages built without outside privies in the late 19th and early 20th centuries that were modernized to some extent. Some of my school friends actually bathed in galvanized tubs, and when I was just turning 4, I remember during the summer being bathed outside next to the back doorstep in a large tub, of which we had several that were used mostly for washing clothes. The tub would be put outside in the early morning sun, filled with hot water then left for a couple or three hours then jump in. That is where I learned to swim since, when you are 3, a tub of water that was 2-2/3" and a 2-1/2 by 4 oval is plenty big. A five or, even a 7 year old girl was not expected to be able to hold it if she woke up in the dead of night and needed to go and a pot might be too messy to deal with since she had to sit down if she were to use it. A boy 4 or older could just kneel down and go, with the pot being just under the bed. In some cases, diapers were used to make life more convenient for the grownups in charge of a number of children

Forgot that daylight savings time was today, it's especially interesting that it seemed to change at 2am instead of at midnight. I went and did something at 1:47am and the 3am alarm to feed the cat went off really early, I had thought I took over an hour doing something that should have taken like 10 minutes. The only reason I figured out the time had changed is our microwave clock (the only non-internet connected clock we have plugged in at the moment) was an hour behind.

I just filled my diaper with a very solid log. It felt like it was about 12 inches long. There is some soft poop coming out now. I will wait a little while to change.

Is this is a impromptu ad for Tykables?

Rage is a powerful thing but is often wasted... focused rage, on the other hand, is very effective, but it can consume one's original reason for being angry. Bravo Clark! Use their own bias against them... if they truly believe that Littles are lost to maturity, then let them break their minds against true passive aggressive actions!

I wonder if there is a mental spiraling versus a physical spiraling. I know they would obviously go hand in hand. I have definitely noticed the mental spiral more in the first 4 months of my "untraining" journey. There are definitely physical changes, but I believe the mental condition is what is the critical fuel to drive the physical changes. Here's the some of my reflections on mental spiraling. 1. Do I accept that I want to try 24/7 un-training and the implications it has on lifestyle, family, etc? This is a process even after you start the journey as there can be a lot of binge/purge with other emotional motivators affecting the outcome. 2. Do I expect too many results too quickly and can I just embrace the journey without setting unrealistic expectations about when my body needs to respond? I think for me the mental expectation of nighttime bedwetting was too high when I started...this forum helped me understand the complexities of achieving his and helped reframe my goals. 3. Can I function outside of my home in diapers exclusively? I now have thrown away all underwear and have onesies and diapers and it is what I wear everywhere. However, there is a barrier to wearing socially and at work and while traveling etc. that must be crossed. This was not so hard for me as I don't tend to care as much what others think if they find out and diapers are obviously tied to incontience which no one really seems to make fun of or care about at my age in life. 4. Can I commit to the expense involved in this lifestyle? Mentally other things need to be foregone in order to wear diapers 24/7. I am fortunate to be in a position to be able to afford this choice, but it is a big one to process. 5. Can I allow my mind to endure the periods of doubt, frustration or wanting to stop? Like anything that takes time, there are moments that challenge our commitment to a goal and this is no different. 6. Can I take the steps to proactively re-inforce that I am a diaper wearer. This mindset is so key to the constant decision to diaper up. I have found this comes easier and easier over time. 7. Can I sustain my commitment when the "excitement" of it all has worn off? Like relationships, there is a honeymoon phase, then there is the reality of day-to-day interactions. Wearing a diaper everyday is exhilarating at some level, but as you move forward, it becomes less adrenaline oriented and truly lifestyle oriented. Not sure if any of that makes sense, but I believe my ability to enter into physical spirals is directly related to my ability to mentally spiral.

Diapers and a cup of coffee is the best way to go

HA! Small victories. With the way Amazons are I wonder how far he could push it until they realize he's doing it just to annoy them?

?

Oh man, cashering can be rough on a bladder when there's a line and everyone else is at lunch. Plus it's Walmart so you were probably the only live checker to start with

Sorry this is super late, but happy full moon Friday anyways! Awoooo! https://toofplaypen.wordpress.com/2022/03/11/first-moon-forever-20/ The back of my truck was loaded down with boxes and boxes of new stuff for the sprog. I was going to have a word or two with Liliana about having such things delivered to a security company. Sure most things came in unmarked brown boxes, but the larger things, not so much. Bed Rails, set of playpen panels, and then there was the crib. It was all easy enough to explain as a friend that was expecting, that didn't stop the questions about the crib seeming larger than normal. Before I headed over, I messaged a few of the wolves to meet me at the lady's home to unload the mess so I could put it together. An hour later I was busying myself with the monstrous crib when she came by. I didn't acknowledge her, but she just stood behind me for longer than curiosity's sake. I grunted, but didn't turn my attention to her. "Um, Ronnie?" She finally spoke, more meekly than I expected from one that had won the heart of Liliana. "Yes pup?" I bit out as I dropped a board on my foot. "Can I help?" She shyly asked, having moved up behind me. "I don't see what help you could be here." I grunted, fitting the last bolt needed to get the thing freestanding. "Run along and… play." I could see her from the corner of my eyes as she puffed up her cheeks in frustration. The girl grabbed the box of Bed Rails and drug it down the hall. She knew she was strong enough to carry it easily, the dragging was simply a show of something I didn't have time to care about. I chuckled to myself and went back to putting in bolts when from down the hall I heard "Fuck." I made my way to her bedroom to see she had flipped the mattress over. Obviously not thinking about how easy it was to lift with her new strength. I stealthily slid up behind her and stuck one of her new pacifiers in her mouth. "Young princesses shouldn't use such language, child." And with that I left her stunned to go finish setting up her bed. <Edited by @Alice-chan>

Jeans, totally jeans. A little bit at a time, or all at once.

First, I'd like to thank everyone for sticking with this story. I think it came in a little too late to count as a X-mas/New Years story. Oh well. That's what I get for writing at a snail's pace, but I'm very happy with the results. I love everyone's opinions on the last chapter, they're good takes on this Little story. The Present(s) started as something simple, a singing telegram willingly walking into an obvious trap. Eventually it just got more and more complex as it went on. This was probably due to the four months it took to write twelve chapters. Sheesh. I plan on adding my own opinions to the comments after everyone gets a chance to read the final chapter. As always, thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments, it's the writing fuel that makes this fun. -------- The Present(s) 12 After Midnight The present moment can manifest itself in different ways. A distant song in the background, an in-your-face disagreement with a friend, a final embrace after a wonderful date. It’s what sticks to the pan when the spatula called ‘time’ begins to scrap the memories away. It's all about where to place 'focus'. There was plenty of distracting noise, now that it was all over. The happy hubbub of hugging and crying, mixed with meaningful well-wishing, echoed in the backstage hallway. There was cheek kissing and diaper patting, as the two of them were passed from shoulder to shoulder. However, the night belonged to the crowned Raucier. This was a Big event for Mrs. Rhonda Raucier. Two Littles in one night? Who could have seen it coming? For the Littles, everything happened in terrible twos. It started with a pair of diaper changes, with both tables side by side. During which Kinsey stared into him like he was the dumbest Little in the world, even if she whispered around the pacifier 'thank you'. James got a pacifier as well. Next came two matching parka coats over two matching unisex footies, and two cutey wool booties; all to protect the two babies from the cold weather. The thick parkas had a furry-rimmed hood that sheltered them from the reality that they now faced. After changes of diapers and dressing, came changes of identity. They were now Jamie and Kinsington Raucier, siblings in the name of Amazon law. Which was the only law whose rules consistently applied. Not like those bothersome contracts that he always worried about. This was the Big bad. The 'Game Over'. The scary balloon of Actuality at the end of the Anticipation string. But it wasn't all bad, because there was Kinsey. Then he thought about Jenny, how she had won. It made him feel dirty inside. There were other babified Littles that took the shameful elevator ride down to the first floor. Each in their own state of mind, some still battled at their restraints in their strollers, others tried to wiggle free from doting shushing mothers. Some were like James and Kinsey, quietly looking up at the sight of themselves in the mirror above. They had become what the Amazons had always wanted: they were big babies. And the rest? Discarded. A three tiered limousine awaited the newly expanded Rauciers at the curb. The driver up front, the Amazons in the middle, and the final tier would be for the car seats in the very back. The overly nice doorman waved at James and Kinsey as the stroller rolled into the cold. Luckily, the doorman didn't call James a ‘Little Guy’, his night could only handle so much. However, James didn’t place his ‘focus’ on any of the awful, anxiety-inducing bad thoughts of this present moment. His mind was closer to him, closer to home, in a spot within the covered stroller where no Big could see. His present moment was entirely about a pair of interlocked Little pinkies. A promise kept, and a promise to be kept to the very end. They were loaded into their side by side car seats before the pacifiers were removed. The long car idled in the busy traffic, letting them get used to their new surroundings as they remained in front of the building. The car seat was comfortable, made with a foreign leather and all the trappings of overly expensive luxury. Kinsey sat quietly assessing the situation in her own way. James wanted to give her time, since this was the first the two had got to talk as “family”. Hopefully, she’d be nice to him; however, he still had his doubts. Eventually, she was the one to break the ice. “So, in your moment of truth, you pee your pants. Is that your idea of heroism?” "Should I have left you to the robo-nanny?" James asked as a response. “Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I didn’t.” Kinsey muttered, “I’m actually glad that you did what you did, Jamie.” “That’s not my name, Kinsington.” “Actually…” Kinsey let her silence and funny grimace make the point. She was right. He was a Jamie now. And a Little Guy. Maybe on some days, a Little Gal. His heart felt heavy as he tightly gripped the safety belt across his chest. “I don’t like thinking about it either, but we’re in a new kind of spot,” Kinsey said in a wistful way. “Uncharted territory, so to speak. We’re going to need each other now more than ever.” Jamie thought about Kinsey’s observation. He didn’t want to admit that he knew enough about this territory, the diapers would take getting used to, the same with using them. It took him a few years to master toilet training when he was a little Little. How long would it take him to ‘unlearn’ every part of his adulthood, his independence, his way of life? The present moment offered no answers. “Something on your mind, Jamie?” “No.” “Do you need to talk? I’m here. And you’re here because I’m here, so it’s kinda my fault. You know, since I kinda messed a diaper up there.” A nervous giggle escaped from her lips. “I don’t even want to think about what you did to your diaper,” Jamie snapped as he stared at the frost gathering on corners of his window. Kinsey continued, “Well, I think there’s going to be a lot of things we are going to have to get used to - Hopefully, not too used to.” Mrs. Raucier again spun around from the middle section, the electronic partition was rolled down, and she kept looking back at her two Littles. She could hardly believe it as well, her body language could hardly contain her giddiness, and her nervousness, if Jamie was reading her correctly. There had to be something positive in all of this. Sometimes that’s the only part of the present moment worth paying attention to: the best of a bad situation. Jamie turned to Kinsey and asked, “Are we rich now?” Kinsey looked up and down the inside of the limousine before responding. “It looks like it.” That’s a good thing, maybe even a great thing. No more working for tips, no more rent, no more singing ‘Apples and Bananas’ for overzealous Bigs, no more groceries, no more taxes, no more early mornings, probably no more late nights either. “Oh, car seat heaters.” Kinsey pushed the button on her arm rest, then did the same for Jamie. The seat heater warmed his butt through his diaper. The blossoming, slow-moving heat gave him the same sensation that he felt when he wet himself and sealed this deal. He immediately turned his off. Jamie suffered under a Little regret. This surreal nightmare of a present moment twisted knots in his stomach. It made the seat belt feel too tight, and he yanked it away from his body as far as it could go, but it snapped back in place - keeping him in his Little place. How could he make this better? Outside, he saw Jenny the Betweener making her way out of the building. She stuck out as smaller among the throng of Amazons. She had an awful pep to her step, mentally counting her bonus with an incorrigible smile on her ugly face. Then it hit him. Revenge. He wanted to topple her evening like she toppled his entire life. How could he do this in a car seat and diaper? He was totally helpless in almost every way, a completely useless pants-peeing Little with an Amazon CEO as a mommy — Jamie grinned. — He was a pants-peeing Little with an Amazon CEO as a mommy, an aunt with a wild penchant for Littles, and the best nanny in the city. All at his behest. Jamie spotted Anne-Margot on the sidewalk making small talk with a gaggle of other happy well-dressed Amazon women. He asked, "Mommy, can you roll down the window?" "Are you sure, Jamie? It's pretty ‘brr-brr’ cold outside." He'd have to get used to being talked down to like a naive child, but it wasn't the end of the world. Letting Jenny escape from justice was something even worse than the high pitched voices and dumbed down vocabulary. "I want to say 'thank you' to Auntie Anne-Margot," lied Jamie. Kinsey scrunched up her face, she had no idea what Jamie had planned, but it was probably stupid. This wasn't the first time that the former Gramcracker had thrown her for a loop, and due to the fact they were going to spend a lot more time together, it probably wouldn't be the last. His ‘mommy’ rolled the back window down so Jamie could relay his message. "Auntie Anne-Margot! I want to tell you something!" Jamie shouted to the snowy world outside. His new Amazon Aunt broke off her conversation with the other Bigs, the baby was calling, and she was there to happily answer. It was enough to make the other Amazons twinge with jealousy. She leaned her huge head through the window. "What do you want, sweet Little Jamie?" "I need to tell you something, about how Jenny hurt me, and hurt Kinsey. How she's hurt other Littles." The Amazon sucked in a deep breath. "That’s all over sweetie, she can’t get to you now." "No. It’s not over for all of the Littles, there are other ones — the ones without mommies or daddies. You know that she would hurt them, she tried to make me eat the chocolate, remember?" Auntie Anne-Margot remembered, alright. The scowl told him that much. She growled, "Tell me what she did." So he did. Jamie precisely fired all of his ammunition in painstaking detail as quickly as he could. His eyes were not leaving Jenny who was casually making small talk with the Big doorman. Time was of the essence, and Jamie rushed through to get to the end. Anne-Margot frequently commented on his story. "She did what? How dare she?" and "What's the name of that other Tweener? Craig. He doesn’t sound very nice." He may have embellished a few parts, but it was all in the name of Little Amy. When he was finished with the couple minute long spiel, Anne-Margot had shifted from neutral Big to aggressive Amazon. Needless to say, Anne-Margot did not like the room at the end of the hall, the place where the shadows played. Anne-Margot turned to her sister. “Did you know about all of this, Rhonda?” “Not exactly, but it doesn’t surprise me…” “Doesn’t surprise you?” Anne-Margot interrupted. “Littles being abused under our very noses. I don’t think I can stand it.” Jamie said, “Then do something about it.” Anne-Margot snapped her head his way to put him in his place — before thinking otherwise, a slow forming grin crept across her face. She wagged a big finger at Jamie. A typical response from an Amazon. “Oh my, look at Mr. Bossy Pants, getting too big for his diapers.” Jamie had to make this work, he needed something ‘right’ to happen, like right now. He saw Jenny get a good look at the Raucier limo and scurry down the frozen sidewalk, feet sliding from side to side as she picked up speed. Time was slipping away, there wouldn’t be another present moment like this. Then he remembered ‘the dance’. Give a little, take a Little. Sometimes literally. Jamie leaned closer to the car window, as if to reveal a secret. “I’ll make it worth your while, pretty please. You’re my favorite Aunt.” “I’m your only Aunt,” replied Anne-Margot. “But I’m listening.” His Little baby blues made contact with her Big green eyes. “I’ll do anything you want.” “Oh, really?” The Amazon paused then purred, “What are your opinions on ballet lessons?” He grimaced. “You do what I ask, and I’ll do ballet lessons.” Anne-Margot grinned from ear to ear. “I’ll have you know that they’re only for girls, but based on what I’ve seen tonight… you’ll pass.” Jamie peered over at Kinsey who sat in awe of this entire negotiation. “You do what you want with Jenny and Craig, but the Littles go free. Every single one of them. Especially Amy.” “Who’s Amy?” asked Kinsey, there was a hint of jealousy in her voice. Just a hint. “I’m not making any promises,” Anne-Margot said defiantly. “Auntie… you know those Littles already have a home, a different life, they were already unwanted enough as it is. Think about this as a gift to me.” Anne-Margot let out a loud sigh. “Too precious! You and your Little puppy eyes. I can’t say no to you.” Nanny Mamsy appeared from around the trunk, she had changed back into her usual uniform. Her dress a simple plain and black, a white apron tied around her chest by a large white bow on her back. She did a number lugging all of the big baby stuff from upstairs, somehow making room for almost everything in the trunk. The thousand diapers were among the furniture to be delivered at a later date. The nanny evaluated the look on Anne-Margot’s face and Jamie in the car seat. Mamsy asked, “What’s going on?” “I might need to borrow your services for the night,” mentioned Anne-Margot. The Amazons spoke in code, words with various meanings and subtle connotations. Kind of like the Littles with their secret word ‘waffles’. “Is this about someone we both know?” Nanny Mamsy raised an eyebrow as she began to stretch for battle. “I’m game if that’s okay with the mistress. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for the order all night, ever since the chocolates.” Rhonda Raucier spoke code as well, sending her nanny muscle into the mix with a dismissive wave of her hand like a mob boss. “I think I can handle the two of them tonight,” assured Mrs. Raucier. “They’re probably all tuckered out from the late evening. You guys have your fun.” Nanny Mamsy nodded to Mrs. Raucier before leaning into the open car window to give the Littles some final instructions. The nanny commanded their attention with the snap of her fingers. “Alright, the two of you are sharing a crib tonight. So no funny business. I’m checking diapers when I get back. Trust me. I’ll know.” Both Littles turned fifty shades of crimson at her insinuation. “Say ‘yes, nanny’.” They answered in unison. “Yes, nanny.” Mamsy turned back to Anne-Margot with what looked like Anticipation. “Okay, where is that Tweener?” Jamie pointed towards the entrance of a multi-level parking lot almost out of sight. Almost. Jenny was a shadow down the block, probably in her mind, she had gotten away with her crimes. The two Amazons marched off into the snow, as the weather began to flex its wintry might. It was only a moment before they returned into view, this time with a familiar Betweener in their arms. Jenny was lifted just enough to where her feet couldn’t touch the ground. She kicked at the air, like peddling an invisible bicycle as she tried to pull her arms free from the pair of avenging Bigs. The Little Wrangler desperately pleaded her case onto deaf ears, he could hear the screeching from all the way down the block. She tried begging, then bribing, then whining. As she got closer to the crowd her words became easier to understand. “I’ll give you money, I’ll never do this again, just let me go and I will…” “Where’s a pacifier when you need one?” barked an onlooking Amazon. Another cooed, “Someone’s up past her bedtime.” All of her commotion caused the group of loitering Amazons to take notice. Jenny the Betweener became blood in the water in the shark tank. They knew of this dance, and this was their favorite part. Her weakness attracted the worst in them, and by the time they got to the door, the two avenging Amazons turned into ten. All with a one track mind. The guilty Betweener kept repeating, “I’m not a Little, I’m not a Little…” It didn’t matter anymore. The last Jamie saw of her, wide-eyes Jenny was holding onto the doorframe with everything she had, fighting against the mob of Amazons with cruel intentions. Her tablet and walkie in the hands of those who wanted to have their Little fun with the Betweener. Then all at once she slipped, and Jenny was gone for good. Rhonda enjoyed the scene from her middle seat. She enjoyed giving James this favor as well. It was all a part of the dance; and this time, the monsters were on his side. “Driver, if you could wait here at the curb, I’d appreciate it. I want to stay for the entire show.” A few minutes later, a car pulled to the curb behind the limo. Craig, the other Betweener, the funny guy with the computer, was led by the ear from the car and towards the big double doors to the lobby. A small troupe of Amazon women followed behind, with one dressed exactly like Mamsy. A nanny. Craig struggled to cradle a large box of diapers inside as they boxed his ears and swatted his bottom. If Jamie wasn’t mistaken, that was ‘His and Hers’ diapers in his hands, now with sizes for ‘Your baby Tweener’. The nanny loudly chastised him. “You’re lucky that the computer has safety protocols, you could have hurt those Littles. That’s completely unsanitary, but you’ll find out soon enough. You’re going to get a good taste of your own medicine.” The bad Betweener’s frightened apologies were music to his ears. But what came next was a symphony of satisfaction. The doorman opened the door for Anne-Margot, but she wasn’t alone. Dozens of Littles all toddled out of the Big building. Some were still in normal clothes, some torn, ruffled, or wrecked, indicators of a rough night. The others were dressed in more babyish outfits picked out by the Amazons who later rejected them. None of them were in diapers. Out of the crowd, James spotted Little Amy in a nondescript sweatsuit number, walking with an obvious waddle, her burning bottom was a reminder of her forced enema, spanking, and lack of changing. A pair of tap dancing shoes dangled in her dainty hands. She happily slung them over her shoulder, waltzing around in the wonderful snowfall, breathing in the free air of a second opportunity. Amy turned towards the idling limousine as if she could see James through the distance. She briefly smiled before joining the rest of the Littles as they hastily walked into the night. Jamie couldn’t blame them, Amazons were known for changing their minds. When she got to the corner, Little Amy deposited her dancing shoes into a trashcan before turning away. That Little had enough of ‘dancing’ for a lifetime. Kinsey tapped his hand. “You did a good thing, Jamie.” “Yeah, but where did that get me?” The fantasy of the far away Littles faded, and the reality of the present moment anchored him into his carseat. His new sister tried to help. “We’re not in as bad of a spot as you think, you just helped me realize that we have power now. We are the only Littles to one of the most influential Amazons in the city. We’re famous, Twinkle-toes.” He argued, “Rhonda Raucier is the powerful one, we’re the ones that poop our diapers.” Jamie paused for a moment. "Twinkle-toes?" "You're not a Gram-gram anymore," Kinsey said, "I have to berate you for something, ballerina-boy. You need a nickname.” Jamie just shook his head. Kinsey was going to 'Kinsey', that was one thing that wasn't going to change. “Just look at what you did, Jamie. Those Littles were in a bad place, and you helped them. We can have our Bigs wrapped around our fingers. We can get them to do whatever we want.” “I would like to believe you,” he said glumly, “but I think they were more mad at Jenny than they wanted to help me.” “No, really.” Kinsey added. “Watch this…” Jamie watched. Kinsey whined, “Mommy?” Rhonda Raucier perked up at the big ‘M-o-m-m-y’. “Yes, Kinsington?” The Little squealed, “I’m so thirsty.” “Let me make you a drink. Do you want milk or juice?” “Juice, please. Thanks mommy, you’re the best.” Then she winked at Jamie, passing the baton to the former Gramcracker, now known as ‘Twinkle-toes’. Gosh, he hoped that name didn’t stick. This was something different, and he immediately recognized its potential. This was the other side of the dance, a side that Jenny was too blind to see. The only way that the Littles could manipulate the Bigs. What were they going to do to him? Throw him in diapers? Too late. It was just like playing for tips, a skill developed during his time as a Gramcracker. He couldn’t describe the way felt. Invincible? Maybe. Powerful? Perhaps. Wishful-thinking? Absolutely. It felt like having a hurricane at his command. He wanted to try his hand at this. “Yeah, mommy.” Jamie adjusted himself taller in the car seat as he felt the return of his backbone. “I’m thirsty, too.” “I’ll make you a juice after I make one for your sister.” Jamie winked at Kinsey. Then he whined, “Aw! I want it now.” This is how the most powerful CEO in the city was relegated to a baby bartender. There were loud clanking sounds of plastic sippy cups and tumbling bottles from the middle seat. Followed by whispered cursing which only made the Littles giggle. This was a game, a new one. One they would get used to playing on their new mommy. They’d only get away with it while Nanny Mamsy was away, she wouldn’t put up with this kind of bad behavior. The two Littles in the back began chanting and slapping their arm rests. “We want juice! We want juice!” In a strange way, acting all childish helped take away the nerves, alleviating the anxiety about the future. This present moment, Jamie shared a smile with his friend, or ‘sister’? Who knew what kind of relationship they were in? Or what kind of relationship they would maintain after this bandaid was ripped away? Like all things, they’d have to figure it out. The brand new mom looked exasperated but was somewhat successful in making the pair of juices. Rhonda Raucier removed a sweaty strand of hair from her face as she served the two Littles their drinks. Kinsey’s juice came in a bottle, while his juice came in a sippy cup. It looked like Jamie was already mommy’s favorite. He lifted his cup, studied it for a bit, and brought it to his lips. He had to make a fishy face to free the apple juice from the plastic cup. It tasted good. Appy-juice, as Anne-Margot called it way earlier in the evening. He smacked his lips together before digging into Kinsey. “I hope you noticed that she gave me the sippy cup, while she gave you the baby bottle.” Kinsey frowned behind the bottle. “That doesn’t mean anything.” “Of course it does!” Jamie drove the dagger home. “She knows a diaper-pooper when she sees one, while I’m a shining beacon of maturity.” “A shining beacon?” Kinsey gave him a look, he was acting stupid again. "You wouldn't understand, it's a big kid thing. I’m already halfway into pull-ups.” Kinsey smiled. "Oh, I see." It was important to let her stew in his insult, let it sink into the skin, and stay there until it burned. The limousine slowly joined the traffic in the busy street. Most likely heading to a huge mansion with three swimming pools, a full staff, and a two-story nursery. A new place to call home. "Mommy, are we there yet?" Jamie smiled as he kicked up their game again. "No, we won’t be home until very late," answered Rhonda Raucier. "Mommy wants you two to get some nighty-night so I'll be rolling up the partition." Kinsey spoke up. "Mommy, can I ask for one last thing?" "Yes, Kinsington." Mrs. Raucier could hardly disguise the annoyance in her voice. "Jamie said his tummy hurts, and he needs to go ‘poo poo’, but he's too afraid of using his diaper." Jamie swallowed his juice all wrong, he started choking in his carseat, completely helpless to voice his defense as Kinsey once again got the upper hand. "Well, I'll have Nanny Mamsy give him some medicine once she's home. Don't worry, Jamie. I'm sure you make the sweetest messy diapers." He caught his breath as the partition rolled back up, their new mommy basking in the glory of a well-earned quiet time. Kinsey got him good with the poop medicine thing, credit was due where credit was due. At least now he could blame his next diaper on the medicine and not the lack of potty training. The soft snowfall was almost picturesque dotting the night sky with its own set of floating stars. The snow coated the buildings and signs, the small trees and shrubs, the black limousine. Jamie looked back up at the tall building, if he twisted his head like an owl, he could barely see the 100th floor. The lights were still on, as the long 'Night with the Nannies' was just beginning for those not-so-innocent Betweeners. As for the ‘here and now’, it was him and Kinsey. He extended his pinky finger her way. "I hate you, Kinsey." "Good." Kinsey said as she wrapped her pinky around his. "I hate you, too." Ah, the Presents. THE END

Weeks 13-15 I can't believe it's already been three weeks! I feel like I should apologize for taking awhile to post an update! I'm going to use a slightly different format for this update, but will still include the statistics! Today marks the 112 day of consecutive 24/7 on my journey...approaching the four month mark very rapidly. I can say it has been an amazing experience and so far I have zero regrets! Statistics Category Last 30 days Last 111 Days Notes Days went #2 in Diapers 73.0% 55.0% Biggest Surprise...didn't expect to do Days Wet at Night Woke Up, wet, slept 40.0% 49.5% Becoming much shorter awake time Unsure / Probably one unaware 26.7% 27.0% At least 1 wet unaware 33.3% 23.4% Feels like I'm on a plateau here Average # Of Diapers / Day 3.6 3.6 Abena is my pick of Best Value Average # Of Diapers / Night 1 1 Better Dry is my pick of Best Value Hypnosis 6.7% 51.4% Biggest Change In Last Month The biggest change for me has been how little I'm not using hypnosis or subliminals. I believe this reflects a big mental shift where I'm very accepting of being diaper dependent / incontinent (don't want to debate definitions!). So either the hypnosis I did in the first two and a half months really worked, or I've come to accept I need diapers and I do everything in them. I have noticed the last three weeks have been life as "normal" where I'm not even considering wearing or not wearing diapers, it is just a part of me. That has been the most significant change this period, I see myself as using diapers, period. I actually paused yesterday and couldn't remember the last time I actually used a toilet. Another statistic is the increase in #2. When I started this journey I had no plans or desires to include #2, but now, it is nearly a daily occurrence. I am committed to not exercising my sphincter muscles ever. At the beginning, I would just hurry to a toilet and go #2 when I felt the urge, now I just let it go in my diaper. Hate the clean up, but love the release. And actually, the cleanup is manageable as I work from home. Not as big a problem as I would have imagined. The last statistic of note for me is the bedwetting. I think I have reached the plateau where I sometimes have a night where I know that at least one wetting occurred while I was asleep. Sometimes I'm unsure because I can't remember or because I wake up for the first time at 5am to pee and am too tired to check if I have peed in my diaper previously. I know everyone says this takes the longest, is the most unpredictable road and vacillates the most frequently without reason or rhyme. I know I'm still way early in the journey relative to what this may look like in a year or so, but honestly, I just go to bed each night at peace that it will all happen in time and don't worry about rushing it as much as when I first started. Physical / Medical Skin Care: I currently need to use Calmoseptine cream on every change now. I have skin irritations around the "sensitive" parts of my body and along groin creases. While not bad, the cream is now essential to keep my skin healthy and free from red irritation or itching. I probably should have been doing this "proactively" before, but have reacted to the symptoms. I would encourage anyone on their 24/7 journey to use this cream or a similar one preventatively to help maintain your skin! I am definitely leaking/dripping more than ever before, especially after wetting. I am now wetting over 14 times a day or roughly once every 1-2 hours. I rarely pause during the day between sensation and releasing and if I'm occupied with a call or conversation, I don't really pay attention or notice it starting or ending. The sensation has changed from feeling a stream of urine fill my diaper to a general "warming" of my genitals where the diaper is filling. Going #2 has been a regular daily occurrence, although in the last couple of weeks I have gone more than once a day. I don't know if this is in part due to the increase in almonds and yogurt and oatmeal that I have been eating or coincidence, but I will begin tracking this frequency. When the urge to go #2 comes, I am fully aware that I am keeping my sphincter relaxed and choosing to allow it to just happen. Once it begins, it is easy to let it flow, however, if my diaper constrains the flow, I do push to assist and feel the diaper fill up very quickly. I do not currently stay in the diaper but change after going to keep rashes from beginning. Mentally, I think this is helping my view of being dependent/incontinent as I now NEVER use the toilet unless I'm out in public and need to go. In these cases I just excuse myself quickly so I don't need to ever "hold it". I don't know that I'm "impotent" per se, but I am hardly ever getting erections except occasionally at night as a defense mechanism from peeing. I notice this when my diaper is already full at the last wetting where I wake up with a quasi-erection. Nothing like when I was in my prime! I'm wondering if I should try Viagra so I can still be intimate with my wife, although she says she is fine without it as much if I am. BLESSING! :). Still, wondering if anyone has seen those kinds of medications impede their diaper progress! Diapers and Clothing Since using the Babykins double lined Terry cloth plastic diaper covers, I have had NO leak issues and have even stopped using a pad on the bed. Only a handful of times has the wrap saved me, but when it does it is easy to wash and dry...a real game changer and I like how it adds volume to my diaper. I also have "committed" to BetterDry as my overnight since I can purchase them at $1.40 vs the $2.55 per diaper cost for MegaMax. I find them roughly equally absorbent and can't seem to find a reason to pay the higher cost. I'm going to commit to the Abena M4 as my daytime preference. I tried BetterDry Day and the M3, but believe the M4 has better capacity, is quieter and not bulky so I can wear it anywhere anytime and I find having one diaper is easier from a planning perspective. I may still get some M3s or other "underwear" for times where I know I won't be wearing a diaper long or am not likely to pee, but for now that is my plan. I need to wear onesies when I'm out and about as I haven't found a good alternative to prevent sagging. Plastic pants work, but I find the onesie more comfortable and easier to fit over the diaper and still be able to fit in my clothing. Again, prefer the REARZ as the sizing is accurate and durability seems very good from my experience. While Traveling / Orlando I took the family to Orlando last week. Was an amazing trip and probably the greatest affirmation to my ability to take this lifestyle into any realm. Here are some of the lessons I learned from traveling with family and spending a lot of time out and about! 1. I brought four onesies and washed each one I wore at the end of the day and packed an extra in my backpack while at the park each day "just in case". Wore a t-shirt over the onesie and while this was definitely warmer than it would have been, didn't cause too much of an issue as we were just waiting in lines or going on rides most of the day. 2. I ended up using about 2-3 M4 Abenas while at the parks. I made sure to use a lot of the Calmoseptine in the morning as well as powder. Also had shaved to keep skin smooth and try and prevent chafing. This seemed to be successful as I averaged 15,000 - 22,000 steps a day and had no problem with chafing or irritation. I definitely didn't go as much as normal given the dehydrating effect of walking and being outside all the time. 3. Bathroom changes were really non-events. The parks let you take backpacks in, and I rolled up three M4s with rubber bands to keep them rolled up and was able to put those, a onesie change and a lunchbox with food for the whole family in my smaller backpack that we used for the day. Having the pack made it easy to just take into the restroom and change as needed. Throwing the diaper away was perhaps tricky as I had to carry it out and as such did so when my kids had already gone, so I was the "last one to go" but had no problems changing / disposing. 4. Bag inspection on entry was no big deal. They saw the diapers, didn't care, life went on. 5. For planning purposes, I used about 75% of the amount of diapers I would normally have used for the week and had the luxury of packing an extra duffle for the week. I also brought some M3s and my overnight BetterDrys and had absolutely no issues. The Babykins cover helped as I didn't need to worry about leaks or pads for the bed. Being in tight quarters with the family for a week made this a little tricky, but it wasn't that big a deal as I just kept my duffle in my closet and took out what I needed to the bathroom each time. I was able to dispose each day of the used diapers in outdoor garbage cans so didn't need to worry about keeping dirty diapers in the condominium. 6. The last day, the person inspecting my bag saw the diapers and asked if I wanted a handicap tag to facilitate getting to the front of lines. I chose not to because this would have raised flags with my kids and I didn't feel like it would have honored the purpose of that tag, but just fyi. Feedback / Goals 1. I have begun running, but want to do so more often (4x a week is my goal). Still have a goal to lose 15-20 pounds by the end of the year. 2. Continue with 100% utilization of diapers for #1 and #2. This month I would like to try and intentionally deal with #2 in public to begin allowing myself to gain confidence that I can accomplish this without inconveniencing people around me. 3. Continue to research and refine diet to help increase #2 frequency to assist in goals of diaper dependence. 4. I'd welcome any feedback on people using products while they are exercising or running. Also very interested if someone has different ideas on dietary tips to increase #2 frequency. Finally, would love to hear any feedback if anyone found the use of hypnosis / subliminal helpful at the beginning and then fading as you gained confidence! Thank you to each that provides feedback and encouragement! Journeying alone stinks, this community is very helpful!

It's morning and my Tykables Little Builders diaper is very wet and messy as I sit here responding to this thread. Just so nice to enjoy a wet and poopy diaper in the solitude of the early morning. My only wish is that I could mess my diaper whenever and where ever the need arose; however, exposing non ABDL's and nonconsenting people is against my diaper "Code of Diaper Ethics."

Happy Friday Awoo! I decided to go an interesting direction(to me at least) for some scenes I have in mind. This is the first of those. Hope you enjoy! ??? https://toofplaypen.wordpress.com/2022/03/04/first-moon-forever-19/ I watched her look around the room in amazement. Ms. Liliana looked at me with a scowl. "What is she seeing?" "Oh hush lass, the wee wolf is just seeing the world through the eyes of her inner child." I chuckled softly and gave Rachel's head a pat. "You know my glamor is strongest the day after mother moon is at her fullest." "Winnie, you know I have business to take care of today, look at her, she's deep in little space right now. Honestly, maybe for the first time even." I caught her worrying expression. "Don't worry lassie, I can take care of your tyke for the day. It'll be good for her to experience this headspace with no risk of shame." Liliana nodded, but gave me a pout. "Now I want to play with my baby girl…" "There will be time for that later, and ‘toddler’ may be more accurate." Liliana fed little miss Rachel her breakfast as I went about getting some things set up for the day. When the alpha had to leave I caught her wiping tears from her eyes. It warmed my heart how she loved this girl for all that she was. It had been some time since I had seen her so whole. I had begun to worry she wouldn't find what she needed and that's never good for a wolf as old as she. The day with Rachel was precious and I did feel bad that Liliana couldn't be here to see her girl playing with toys in the makeshift play room I had set up for her. Flipping through kids shows it seemed she had quite the affinity for Blue's Clues. I couldn’t stop smiling as she played along with the little puppy on the TV. Before the day was up I helped her back into her booster seat and put a plastic apron on the girl. "Let's paint a picture for your mommy, okay sweetie?" Rachel looked thoughtful for a moment, but nodded happily. By the time she was done, the paper was covered in a finger drawn picture of two wolves by the river. "Good job sweetie, Ms. Liliana will be home soon, so it's time to get this place and a little girl all cleaned up. ~~~~~~~~~~ My day felt like a dream. I had played with toys, been incredibly engrossed in the stories of kids shows and even finger painted for the first time since I was four. It was wonderful, but I had wanted to do something since I woke up. I crawled on top of Liliana and growled playfully, but instead of growling back at me as I had hoped, she took my chin in her hands softly and looked into my eyes. "No ma'am. You've been in little space all day and I think it's still lingering a bit." I whined and tried to protest, but she continued. "I don't think tonight is a good time for that, I'm not risking hurting any part of you. No, I think tonight is a night for aftercare." She pulled me close and wrapped a blanket around us. "We have all the time in the world to do everything our hearts desire and tonight I want to be here for you while you reflect on your day. Tell me all about your little adventure." <Edited by @Alice-chan>

Spoon chat went down atleast on my end have no clue what happened

For as long as I can remember I have felt different than all the people around me. Even my own parents and siblings almost seemed like strangers to me. I also never felt really attracted to girls or boys and sex in my mind was a primitive dirty act that I never really enjoyed. So here I am living my life like an alien in this world. As if it’s all a movie that I am acting in, but I have no script, I don’t even know what role I have to play. I guess that is why this diaper demon was able to enter my confused mind when I was 11 yo. He saw how fascinated and excited I was when I discovered my friend from school needed to wear diapers. He knew I would never become a real man, a man of god so to speak, but would rather be prone to enjoy mind fuck. So he entered and let me start experimenting with stents to make myself incontinent and diaper dependent. And I have to admit, I deserve being possessed, because I do like it. Being incontinent and diapered among the people that I don’t feel connected with also makes way more sense to me than being just like them. Now back to your question, am I ashamed being who I am? No, I feel no shame making myself incontinent and wearing diapers for days in a row. Sometimes after climaxing I may feel a bit embarrassed about it, but that never lasts long. It is just my very distorted way to enjoy my sexual fantasy. And that will never change. Yes I know people would think I am out off my mind if they found out what I am doing. But they don’t need to know, I will keep it a secret. I consider it to be my right to secretly enjoy being incontinent and wearing diapers, I do no harm to others when playing my game, so I am not a bad person, I am just different. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think life would have been a lot easier and maybe even more rewarding had I not been obsessed with incontinence and diapers. But hey at least I know, unlike the other 99.9999% of the world how good it feels to wet your diaper and there is no way you can stop it. ?

I use 3 BetterDrys per 24h: 1 night with booster and 2 per day (so its ~8h each). With lesser capacity like the "Day" variant or other brands i probably would also be in the 4-5 diapers camp. Of course exceptions do occur on days with high liquid intake, say on partynights with lots of alcohol. I think amount of diapers wise you basically have 2 contradicting goals. First, you want to enjoy the advantage of diapers as much as possible (having to go to the bathroom as less as possible) This goal would dictate to reduce the changes per day to as low as possible... say only once, using the highest capacity diaper available. Unfortunately this goal gets contradicted by hygiene, since not smell to much and dont get rashes is also important ? For me, this has increased the optimal changes per day to the aforementioned 3. Anything less and my skin tells me NO! and if i ignore it for more than a few days i will get the rash as a thanks. Anything more kinda defeats the diapers advantage over the toilet. Regarding BMs i try to go on every diaper change, since i am doing this i very rarely have to "waste" a diaper prematurely.

Just got my package of the new princess pull ups! one design features Jasmine and Bell and the other design features Cinderella and Mulan, Super cute!