Leaderboard

She sat back down and waited patiently. After a few more minutes there were footsteps outside. SHe looked over happily as the door opened. To her horror, Dr. Jeffreyson walked in, followed immediately by Marianne. They both looked angrily at her."What!? What's going on!?" Jessica shouted, looking from them to Mr. Owen."Did you really think this would work?" the doctor asked."I... How did...""How did what? Marianne went out the window, got her phone and put in a missing toddler level report, as she should. The report from the students in the park helped narrow it down."Jessica looked at Mr. Owen. "How did you know?""Really?" he replied. "I'm a trained caretaker and tester, not an interviewer. You clearly had no idea what was going on. No one applies for a job the way you did, no one would just say 'any job' and ask to be Vice CEO, no one would 'forget' their proofs, there were no records anywhere of you anywhere, and "Micheal" isn't a last name. The secretary made up "Jordan Micheal of Rike Shoes" as a test, and when you went for it, she contacted me and sent a message to the authorities. I wanted to speak to you myself, and it was pretty clear you were at a low level. You failed basically every test I gave you.""So, those questions weren't real?""No. 'Sunshine Lolipops" isn't a real company, silly, and we wouldn't be investing in dollies and teddy bears. You were very cute though, I'm going to be showing that video for a while. Nice try with the cup though, almost made it." He took out a remote control and hit a button. The back wall turned into a telivision, showing a video of her walking into the building.Jessica then saw it as they did. Her, walking in, clearly lying to the secretary. Agreeing to all the silly things Mr. Owen said and spilling her water. Her staring at the toys and children's books on his shelves. All of them laughing and snickering whenever she turned around. She really did look like a child pretending to be a grown up, and she began to cry."I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was just trying to," she was cut off by a pacifier, and Dr. Jeffreyson hugged her. "I know. I know what you were trying to do, but you have to realize we have these rules for your own good. How many did you break today? Locking Marianne in the bathroom, stealing clothes and money, running away, lying how many times?" He shook his head. "It isn't'' good Jessica."She nodded. "We will help you get better, and find something for you. But for now. Marianne?" Jessica gulped as Marianne walked toward her, grabbed her wrist, sat down and pulled her over her lap. She didn't struggle as the spanking began. The pain mounted, and she felt herself wet the pants she had tried so desperately to earn. (short update I know, more in a few days)

Hello everyone! This is the first part of my story. I apologize for any mistakes but this is the first time I'm writing something, and English is not my first language. So don't judge me too harshly. That said, any criticism is welcome, I want to improve my writing. Tell me if you want the story to go on, I have a couple more chapters ready ? Enjoy! Chapter 1 The Rapture The air in the night was cold, but Jenny didn’t mind. She liked going running late in the night, when the city was almost deserted. It gave her the time to really think about her life. The 25 beautiful blonde lawyer was on a road to greatness. The legal studio she had inherited from her retired father was going to assure her success and wealth for her entire life, and the shunning look she possessed would guarantee her a plethora of friends and lovers. Yeah life was good, she thought closing her eyes and letting the fresh air fill her lungs and the endorphins run in her blood. She was running through the city park when a strange sensation hit her. She couldn’t explain why, her skin started tingling and she felt an awkward thrill running up her spine. Slowing her pace she noticed something else was off, the tall buildings of the city seemed strange when she looked at them. They seemed… flickering and shifting. Confused, she stopped running and leaned over a tree to rest, but when she tried to touch the tree she noticed that it was…transparent?! “ Apparently I ran too much and now I’m hallucinating”, she thought, taking deep breaths to calm down. Then a ringing noise started to fill her ears, at first she heard it on the background, then it grew stronger and stronger until it became deafening. She fell on her knees covering her ears, but the sound seemed to pierce right through. “Subject locked. Initiating rapture procedure….” A metallic, cold voice announced from a non distinct point in front of her, but the park was deserted. Suddenly she was blinded by a flash of white light. She had barely the time to open her mouth to scream, then everything went black. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Jenny slowly regained consciousness, she was lying on a soft surface, her eyes were still closed, but she could sense the absence of light in the room around her. “That’s it, I must have slept through my evening training”, she thought smiling to herself “I’m really getting lazy over time…”. Then she noticed something was inside her mouth, a rubber object that filled almost all of it. Her muscles snapped as she immediately jumped to her feet. “What the hell? What is this thing?” She removed the object to better look at it. Due to her being still half asleep and the room being dimly lit, she took a few moments to properly identify it. It was a large pacifier, and was attached with a clasp and a plastic chain to her t-shirt. Her t-shirt?! She didn’t even remember having a shirt like that! it was pink - she hated pink- decorated with unicorns, and didn’t even reach past her bellybutton. “That’s messed up even for a dream”, then she noticed the bulk between her legs. Wrapped around her waist was a large white undergarment, It looked like a...diaper?! But it was way bigger than normal and so thick her legs were spread so wide apart she couldn’t stand and walk properly. Jenny panicked and started running -well, waddling- in the dark without any destination, her bare feet sinking in the soft surface of the mattress. She just wanted out, she didn’t know where she was but she wanted out of there. She barely made three steps when she suddenly hit a solid surface, falling onto the mattress. High wooden bars raised well over her head. She tried shaking them, but they didn’t even move, she tried to jump to reach the top, but to no use, the bars were simply too tall. Suddenly, looking through she became aware of her surroundings. She was standing in a large room, lit by only a tepid blue nightlight placed on the ceiling. Inside she saw what seemed like twenty enormous cribs, the bars raising high to prevent the occupants from escaping, only 2 of them were occupied, small immobile silhouettes inside indicated that whoever was kept inside them, was sound asleep. “What the hell is going on?! Help!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. She was scared and confused, one moment ago she was running in the park! This seemed like a nightmare. That was the moment when a door behind her opened and the room was flooded with solar light. The figure that opened the room was enormous, and Jenny couldn’t help letting a little spurt of urine into her diaper. She looked like a woman but she was more than 3 times the height of a normal person, she was overall slim but a little of muscles showed up on her arms, her red hair tied in a ponytail. She was wearing a white gown, like the one the nurses use to wear in the hospitals, embroidered to it was written in dark red letters “CrossDimension LittleStore”. The woman smiled approaching jenny’s crib. “Well hello honey! Looks like this sweet girl finally decided to wake up!” Jenny was terrified, but not entirely surprised, she had heard about them. Amazons. They lived in another dimension, and they had recently established some commercial relationship with their world. But it she had never seen one in person, the effect was utterly intimidating even though the girl in front of her was probably 23, way younger than her. “Where am I? What’s going on here?” “Well sweetie, you are so lucky! You have been chosen for our adoption program… There are so many littles like you that need someone to care for them. And there are a lot of Bigs in our dimension who are prepared to pay good money to adopt one of you. I promise everything will be alright, we just need to complete the last few steps in the inclusion process, and then you’ll be able to find a Mommy or a Daddy who will love and provide for you forever and ever!” cooed the nurse. “What?!” Jenny was shocked, her eyes wide open in horror “Adopted!? Like some kind of baby? Forget it! You are straight up crazy! Take me home right now! I swear I’ll call my father…” The nurse smiled condescendly “All of you dimension 6 littles are so feisty! I love it! Some of these days I might adopt one of you. Now come here, we have looots of things to do” “Let me go!!” Jenny screamed as the nurse lifted her by the armpits and picked her up. She was so fast and so strong… Jenny tried punching, screaming and kicking, but the giant seemed to barely feel it. She was carried in another room, this one had big windows and was brightly coloured. The walls were painted in blue, yellow and pink, plastic letters attached to the walls spelling “An adopted baby is a happy baby”, toys were scattered on the floor. It seemed like a daycare play area. Part of the room was occupied with a set of changing tables, they were enormous! The opposite part was encircled by what it seemed like a tall mesh wall that delimited a wide area where, to jenny’s horror, 10 other people like her -littles- dressed in diapers and baby clothes were sitting quietly, playing with rattles and other baby toys in a dilatory way. Some of them had pacifiers in their mouths. Jenny could see that one of two of them had red eyes, like if they had been crying their eyes out in the last few hours, the expression that Jenny red in their faces was clear : defeat. but the thing jenny noticed most, was that everyone of them had a leather collar -like the ones that were used on pets- tied to their neck, with shiny metal tags dangling, some of them wore a little bell attached to the collar too. The screaming woman was carried through the room and sat on one of the changing tables. Another nurse approached them, this one seemed a little older than the red haired one – Jenny would have guessed she was her age- her hair was black. “My my, we got another screamer here?” “Seems like it, but I will give her one more opportunity, after all I’m not THAT unreasonable.”- smiled the red haired nurse. Her tone of voice was mocking, and it infuriated Jenny even more. “Sweetie, I know this is all new and confusing to you, but you have to understand that this behaviour is not allowed in here. Littles are supposed to stay quiet, see how well the other littles are behaving? Show me that what a good girl you are and calm down for me, ok honey?” Jenny was on the verge of tears, but she kept her voice steady when she spat on the girl’s face and screamed “Fuck you! Put me down THIS INSTANT, YOU BITCH!” The two nurses smiled at each other. “Well” said the red headed wiping the spit off her face “looks like a mild attitude adjustment won’t hurt before we find yourself a mommy” With that, she swept the little girl on her knees, with a fluid move tore away her diaper and without saying anything, started raining down blows on her naked butt. Jenny was shocked how easily she had been manhandled by the giant nurse. The pain caught her by surprise, it was unbearable. She started thrashing her legs and arms, trying to get away, but not to avail, the giant held her steady face down with one hand pressed on her back, while striking her with the other. The spanking continued for what it seemed like an eternity, at the end of it Jenny was a blubbering mess, her nose running and her eyes red like she had no more tears left. “Please -sniff- stop… No more….” “You hear it Martha? Looks like this little girl is giving us orders…. She still has to understand that “WE” -THWACK!, “ARE” THWACK!, “THE” THWACK!, “ONES” THWACK!, “WHO” THWACK!, “MAKE” THWACK!, “THE” THWACK!, “RULES” THWACK! Each of her words was underlined with a hard spank on the little girl’s already blistering bottom. Jenny screamed in pain, she felt like her ass was on fire. She wouldn’t have been surprised if the nurse had spilled some of her blood during the spanking. She was lifted once again into the air facing the red headed girl. She could barely meet her gaze, her bottom hurting so much it was difficult even to think. “So are you gonna behave and be a good little for me honey? Or do you want nurse Lilith to resume the spanking?” “NO PLEASE! I’ll be good” “Very good” “Now we have to replace that diaper of yours don’t we? Our little girl got it ruined during her wittle tantrum” Smiled the nurse. “But since you were such a bad girl I think we will need to switch to the crawlers diapers sweetie, at least until I’m convinced you’ll behave for me. Can you say that sweetie?” “I- I- I’ll b-behave for nurse L-Lilith” blubbered Jenny through tears while being laid on the changing table, her legs lifted and her private areas wiped with a moist tissue. Jenny covered her face with her hands, it was so embarrassing having these two younger ladies seeing her naked. She felt totally dehumanized and humiliated. “Very good honey, I knew you were smart enough not to cross me again” nurse Lilith smiled, as she finished to wipe her, then she produced an enormous purple diaper, it had four tabs instead of the classic two, the waistband was decorated with teddy bears and pacifiers. Jenny suppressed another set of sobs as she watched the ominous garment being brought near her and sealed around her waist. The diaper covered her entire belly over her bellybutton, arriving event to touch her ribs. And it was so thick she couldn’t even close her legs enough to walk! When nurse Lilith was finished with her she tried to stand on the changing table, she barely managed, the diaper didn’t allow her to fully straighten her legs, and when she tried to take a step forward, she immediately fell on her padded behind on the frame of the changing table. “This is too thick! I can’t even walk with this thing on!” she cried. “Uh, Uh honey. Littles speak only when the adults say so. Especially bad girls like you. I was thinking that since we are here, it’s better to sort the collar thing out.” After hearing that Jenny saw the other nurse -Martha, the black haired one- approaching holding what it seemed to be one of the pet-like collars the other littles inside the playpen wore. She started to crawl backwards, away from the her, but her arms were blocked by nurse Lilith who smiled. “It’s ok sweetie. Little playthings such as you need their collars to be safe. So that everyone will know that you belong to you mommy and no one can steal you away from her!” “What?! Belong?! I’m not a pet or a plaything! Please…” But as the red haired nurse held her arms tight and prevented her from struggling, Nurse Martha sealed the collar around her neck with a “Click”. The collar wasn’t too tight, but Jenny could feel it being there, a permanent reminder of her loss of freedom and independence. In front of the collar dangled a silver tag which spelled “Baby Girl” and then there was a space left blank. When the nurses released their grip, Jenny’s hands went to the collar, trying to pry it open, but despite looking like a leather collar, it felt like steel on jenny’s hands. The poor girl tried everything to get that damned thing off, but tot to avail, under the amused look of the nurses. “Why are you doing this to me? I’m a person! I’m an adult goddammit! I don’t need diapers!” Jenny started panicking again, and after trying to remove her collar, her hands went to the tabs of her diaper. She tried peel the adhesive tabs off, but they were firmly attached to the diaper. Then she tried to tear the fabric, but the material was simply too resistant. “You can try all you want baby. But the collar and the diapers are little-proofed. They only way you can take them off is if an adult decides so.” “That’s impossible! How strong is this diaper?! I can’t…” “…And now I think our little girl has earned herself some quiet time for speaking to adults without permission.” Said nurse Lilith, pushing a rubber pacifier inside Jenny’s mouth. Caught by surprise, Jenny immediately tried to spit the rubber teat out, but the giant woman held it pressed against her. Then she flicked the ring of the pacifier, and the rubber teat started suddenly inflating, filling Jenny’s mouth and lowering her tongue, effectively silencing her attempts to speak or cry. “Mhhpph? MHHPPPHHH!!!” “There. Much better. It’s common knowledge that littles should be seen, and not heard. You’ll earn your tongue back if you’re a good girl.” Said Nurse Lilith patting Jenny’s head “But I personally like seeing you like this, with a thick diaper that paci and the collar you are the perfect little. You’re so precious I could eat you up!” “Mhhhhhphh, mhhph…” Jenny tried to pull the pacifier out but the expanded nipple inside her mouth prevented her from doing so. Frustrated, she started banging her feet on the changing table’s surface. “Speaking of eating, I guess baby Jenny hasn’t had her breakfast yet, and it’s better to put her on the same schedule as the other littles. We can’t show favouritism now, can’t we?” cooed nurse Lilith carrying the little girl, now dressed in only her thick diaper, to another room. This room looked like an enormous kitchen, there was an oven, a cooker and two fridges. A row of 10 highchairs were lined up against a wall, and the rest of the room was occupied with little-sized plastic coloured tables and chairs. It looked like a daycare lunch area. Nurse Lilith carried the little girl straight to one of the Highchairs, lowered her in, then safely strapped her body with a five point harness before locking the tray back in place. Then she brought near the highchair what looked like an IV stand with a big recipient filled with a semi liquid greyish goop. It was the most unappetizing thing Jenny had ever seen. Still she wondered how was supposed to eat that mush from her highchair and with that diabolical pacifier still in her mouth. The answer was not long in coming. Nurse Lilith produced a plastic tube and attached one end to jenny’s pacifier, and the other end to the bottom of the recipient. Jenny’s eyes widened with horror. She frantically shook her head, pleading with her eyes and emitting muffled noises to stop the nurse, who in return smiled. “We often feed our little charges ourselves, but since I don’t want to hear another word from your pottymouth for the rest of the morning, I’m putting you into the auto-feeder. And since you have been a very bad girl, I’ve added some laxatives to the mixture.” “Mhph? Mhhhhhphhh!!” “See you in half an hour little one, scream if you need me” winked Nurse Lilith flipping a switch attached to the goop-filled recipient. Immediately Jenny’s mouth was filled with a semi-liquid, sweet-flavoured substance that she had no choice but to swallow. Her tongue was kept down by the rubber teat, and the edge of the pacifier was directly pointing at her throat, making it impossible for her to do anything but swallow to avoid chocking. Jenny thrashed into the highchair, shaking her head, pounding her little fists and twitching on the bottom of her huge crinkling diaper, as the feeding mercilessly continued.

Subscribe to our patreon for access to exclusive captions and stories from only $1!https://www.patreon.com/femdiapers PART I ‘Urghhhh.’ Fred Groaned as he pressed his hands tightly into his groin. Just moments ago he had been banging on the bathroom door begging for his sister Violet to hurry up so he could use it. Unfortunately it was the only toilet in the house of three he shared with his younger sister and mother. Normally he would have no problem holding his bladder for this long. Except that now his sister was going through toilet training she would spend an absurd amount of time waiting on the toilet. Finally the door opened but it was Fred’s mother that stepped out into the hallway. “She won’t be much longer Fred, can’t you hold it?” “I have been holding it, for the last fifteen MINUTES.” He shouted exacerbated. Fred’s mother chuckled to herself as she watched her ‘grown up’ son doing a toddlers potty dance. “Fifteen minutes, that’s pitiful! Surely at your age you can manage to hold on for longer than that. Are you really that desperate?” Fred didn’t respond merely nodded as he danced on the spot. “If you’re that desperate I think I have a solution, come with me. Violet you will have to manage by yourself for a moment I’ve got a big baby here that needs my help with the potty.” His mother called out to his sister. Fred didn’t care to give a response he was too focused on not wetting his pants. His mother led him down the hallway and they turned into his sister’s room. Definitely the epitome of a girly girl’s room, it was painted pink and covered in princess posters. Dolls and other toys and been scattered around the room haphazardly during Violet’s latest play session. A changing table was pushed to the side of the room, now doubling up as a cushioned table top for all her stuffed animals. Fred’s mother stepped up to the chest of drawers and removed a couple of items which she held in either hand. “We’ve got two options Fred. Either I can hold one of Violet’s training pants for you while you pee or I can put one of these pee pads on the floor that we use for Violets bed and you can go on that. It’s your choice.” Fred sized up his options, he felt both were equally humiliating and degrading but perhaps there was a lesser of the two evils. “Can’t I just go outside, I’ll be quick I promise no one will see me.” “You already know the answer to that and its no. Our neighbours are already nosy and gossipy enough without seeing my grown son peeing in the backyard like a dog. Who knows what they will say about me. Now decide quickly, else you can just pee in your pants.” His mother said getting frustrated. Fred knew what the answer would be but it didn’t hurt to ask. “Why do you have to hold the pull up against me can’t you just let me do that.” “What, and have you miss and pee all over the carpet? No chance.” She told Fred. Fred suddenly felt a small burst of pee shoot into his underpants. He clutched down as hard as he could. “I’ll use the pee pad.” He said desperately. His mother returned the pull up to the drawers and unfolded the disposable mat before placing it on the floor below Fred. She watched him as he frantically tried to shuffle out of his pants without letting go of his crotch. “Here just let me do it.” His mother told him. To Fred’s shock she reached down the front of his jeans and grabbed hold of his penis. She brushed his hands aside and pulled down his pants and underwear in one smooth motion. He quickly stepped out of them and waited for his mother to release him. “No you can sit on the pad otherwise you will splash pee everywhere.” Fred relented and allowed his mother to lower him to the floor. He sat with his legs spread on the middle of the pad. The second she let go of his penis a torrent of pee sprayed out like a broken faucet. It quickly soaked into the pad and pooled around his leg and bum soaking his lower half in pee. He wasn’t sure if his facial expression showed more shock or relief after holding his bladder for so long. Finally the stream came to a stop; it had managed to soak almost the entire length and width of the pad but thankfully it had prevented any from staining the carpet. Fred breathed a sigh of relief and tilted his head upright; suddenly aware his mother was still in the room and had witnessed the entire humiliating display. He saw a satisfied grin on her face, but that wasn’t the problem. No the issue was the phone in her hand she had used to record the whole thing. After much protesting and complaining Fred’s mother finally deleted the video but not before she had sent a copy to her sister. She told him that his Auntie Julia had seen it but she had promised that she wouldn’t show anyone and had deleted the humiliating video of him already. To say he was relieved was an understatement. If his cousin Mary were to have seen it there would be no telling how she would have reacted. Especially since they both attended the same college he wouldn’t have put it past her to tell all his friends but thankfully it was gone for good. PART II It was now the weekend Fred had seen Mary at college and she gave no inclination that she knew about the incident. He had to tip toe carefully around the subject to avoid revealing that something humiliating had happened to him, in case she pressured his mother or hers into telling her. It was a massive relief especially since Mary and his Auntie Julia were now at his house for dinner. They had just finished eating the main course and were about to start desert when Fred excused himself to go to the bathroom. He made his way there and was about to close the door behind him when Mary suddenly appeared and pushed her way in. “What are you doing? I have to use the bathroom.” Fred asked. “But I thought you didn’t use the bathroom, don’t you use your pee pad?” Mary asked Fred. Fred looked at her wide eyed; she had a sinister grin planted right across her face. “I…I don’t know what you are talking about.” Fred stammered. “Oh you don’t do you? Well maybe you will recognise this.” Mary pulled out her phone and began to play the video that his mother and aunt both swore they deleted before anyone else saw. “But, how did you-.” “Oh it was luck really.” Mary said cutting Fred off. “I was transferring some photos off of mum’s phone; she has the better camera so I often use hers when I’m taking a new profile picture. When all of a sudden I hear a little ding, I would never normally read through mum’s messages but the start of the sentence popped up on the screen and I couldn’t resist.” Mary paused to show Fred a screenshot she had taken. ‘Poor little Freddie couldn’t hold it, look at his expression when he uses his sisters pee pad!’ His mother’s message had read accompanied by some crying/laughing emojis. “Of course once I saw that message I immediately watched the video and send that along with the screenshot to my phone. Then to clear any wrong doings I simply deleted the sent message from mum’s phone to mine. I had to wait for your mum to send another message through so it would come up as unread before I told mum that her phone was beeping. That’s why she believed me when I told her I had no idea what it said.” Mary stood triumphantly, feeling like a detective after explaining how she had gotten away with it. Fred looked quite the opposite though as he stood their looking defeated and upset. “Please don’t show anyone at college Mary, I’ll be the laughing stock of our year and I’ll never get a girlfriend.” “To me it doesn’t look like you need a girlfriend. I think what you need is a mummy.” She said playfully squeezing his cheek. “What can I do to make you delete that off your phone and keep it a secret?” Fred asked hopefully. “Hmmmm, now that you mention it there is one thing you can do. If I had my own video of the incident well then that means I could delete this one. So how about we go to your sisters room and we can recreate the first video except this time I will catch the whole thing from start to finish. You need to go to the bathroom anyway so this works out perfectly.” “That makes no sense at all, you’ll still have a video except this time it will be worse because it would look like I wanted to do it.” Fred said trying to reason with her. “But this way you will have my word that I won’t tell a soul, it will just be between you and me.” Mary said as she rubbed his shoulder. “No, it’s not happening; please just think of something else.” Fred said pulling her hand away. “I’m calling your bluff, if you show anyone what happened then you would get in so much trouble from our parents. You can tease me, do whatever, but just don’t show anyone.” Fred pushed Mary out of the bathroom and shut the door. He finished his business then stepped out into the hall half expecting Mary to still be there. He made his way back to the dining room to finish his desert. Mary returned shortly after Fred did. She was probably waiting in my room to scare me or something he thought to himself. Once desert was finished Mary quickly offered to help Fred’s mother with the dishes, while he sat down on the lounge with his Auntie and Violet to decide on a film to watch. Eventually they settled on a romantic comedy that Fred wasn’t too thrilled about, but he wasn’t going to argue it. Just as they were about to start the film Mary and his mother re-entered the room. “I just need to run the shops before they shut you can start the film without me.” His mother announced. His Aunt Julia got up and stopped her at the door. From what Fred could see it looked like his mother showed her something on the phone which caused both ladies to laugh. His Aunt waved his mum off before shutting the door. Strange Fred thought to himself; he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that something was going on, especially after he turned to see Mary smiling at him. She was glaring so intently that it definitely made him suspicious. Eventually he put the matter out of his mind as he attempted to follow along with the sappy film. PART III Finally Fred’s mother arrived back home. “Fred, can you please come with me for a moment.” She said as she re-entered the house, clutching a paper bag. She probably just needs help putting something away he assumed. Fred followed her as she led him into his sister’s bedroom. Strange, why did she need his help in there he wondered. As he entered the room behind her he stopped dead in his tracks. The thing that had frozen him in place lay in the centre of the room. Someone had pissed on one of the disposable pads and left it in the same spot as the one he had used last week. “I…Is this a joke.” He scoffed. “You tell me? Mary went to the bathroom just after you did but you weren’t in there. After she finished she said that the light was left on in here and the door was open. She went to close it on her way back and saw that lying on the floor. She told me when we were cleaning up after dinner, she didn’t want to bring it up during desert and embarrass you.” Fred stared wide eyed at his mother. There was no way she actually believed Marys lies was there. “That’s not true at all, why would I do that, she’s lying to you. She saw the video before Aunt Julia deleted it and she was trying to set me up so she could embarrass me.” “For starters, your aunt assured me that no one had seen the video, the message was unread when she clicked on it and she deleted it straight after. Second, so what you’re telling me is that your cousin would go as far as to pee on one herself in order to frame you. What exactly would she gain from that?” She said crossing her arms. Fred tried to think of a way out of this mess. He could get her to look at Violets phone then she would see the video. But there was no way she would be that stupid to still have it on there. If he accused her of that and there was no video it would only make him look worse. There had to be something he could do. But as he stood there desperately trying to think of something all he could do was stammer, as his eyes started to get watery he sniffled. “Shhhhhhh, there, there, I’m not mad at you I promise; there’s no need to be upset.” Fred’s mother said, wrapping her arms around to comfort him. “I didn’t realize you enjoyed using your pee pad so much. I’ve told you before you can always talk to me about these things. Clearly you wanted someone to find you had used it. Why else would you leave the light in the room on and have it lying out in the open. You knew one of us would find it and say something.” Fred didn’t bother trying to argue with her, what was the point. Especially after seeing his reaction to the situation, no matter what he did she would never believe him over Mary. “I have something that will cheer you up, but I want you to trust me ok?” Mary brought Fred’s attention to the paper bag she still had clutched in one hand. She pulled out a large packet of what looked like adult diapers. “I only got you the one bag to get started, but this should last you at least a few days and then you can come with me to pick out some more.” “W…why would you buy me DIAPERS.” Fred yelled in disbelief. “Because sweetie, now you can take your pee pad with you wherever you go! From now on you will always have one tightly wrapped around your waist. No more having to sneak off to your sister’s room to use one, you can just let go wherever and whenever you want. I made sure to get you the extra thick ones too; so these should hold a few of your wees, but make sure to tell me as soon as you have a messy, we wouldn’t want you getting diaper rash.” Fred looked at his mother who was smiling warmly back at him. There was no malice or anger she really thought this is what he wanted. The embarrassment took over and he started bawling his eyes out. “Awww, sweetie everything will be fine once we get you into a nice cosy diaper.” Fred’s mother cooed. She took charge and removed Fred’s shirt, he offered no resistance as she continued. She removed his pants and underpants together once again in that same smooth motion. Fred was complacent as his mother gently laid him down onto his sister’s bed. His bottom came into contact with the soft padding of the diaper that she had placed under him. He closed his eyes and sobbed as he felt the cool cream being rubbed over his groin and behind. He finally attempted a meek protest and tried to push her hands aside; but she just pulled his away while continuing to coo at him. She sprinkled a liberal amount of powder over his genitals and the open diaper before rubbing it in. Satisfied she pulled the front of the diaper over his stomach and began to attach the tapes. Fred started wiggling like a fussy toddler and kicked his legs around crying louder as he heard the diaper crinkling beneath him. A gentle slap to his thigh stopped his movements. “Were almost done baby, I promise you will start to enjoy your diaper changes. You just have to learn to let go and not be ashamed. You’re my special little man and you can stay in diapers for as long as you live here if that’s what you want.” Mary said giving him an affectionate kiss on the forehead. Tears continued to roll down Fred’s cheeks as she attached the final tape of his diaper, sealing him inside his padded prison. He saw movement and looked over her shoulder straight into Mary’s eyes as she stood there in the open doorway, silently taking a video with her phone. Undoubtedly she had been there the whole time and caught everything on film. It looked like she got her video after all, maybe if he played along and used his diapers like a good boy she wouldn’t show anyone. It was the best outcome he could hope for now, he thought to himself as Mary snuck away. After adjusting his diaper one last time his mother stood him up. She gave him a gentle pat on his crinkly bottom before taking his hand and leading him away to re-join the family, wearing nothing else but his soft cosy diaper.

2 WEEKS AGO- I was thrown back into my seat as I slammed the gas. The engine roaring as I ripped down the black top. I looked in my mirror and saw my opponent, left in the dust. They had no chance against me on these streets. As I past the quarter mile marker, I let off the gas and began slowing down. I could feel my heart pumping fast and that adrenaline rush felt so good. I rode up to my team and my best friend came up to my window. "9.23 seconds! That's the fastest you have gone yet!" "Great!" I yelled back before cruising back to my parking spot. I shut the beast down and got out, making sure not to ding the wide swinging door on anything. "Alright, girl, that's the last run tonight. Why don't you go get rest some before we get on the road?" My father said, coming mk up to me. "Okay daddy. Goodnight." "Goodnight, my little speed demon" --------------- So my name's Danielle, but you can call me Danny. I'm a 20 year old female from the state of Texas and for as long as I can remember, I've been a car junkie. When I was 9, I was always in the garage with my dad working on his pride and joy. It was a 1970 dodge charger with a 426 hemi under the hood. For many years, we worked on that car. As I got older, I started doing bigger and bigger jobs involving the car. I remember when I was 15, we finally got it running, and it immediately blew out the muffler with a loud bang! When I turned 18, my dad handed me the keys. Ever since then, I've been building the hell out of it, and now, it's the baddest mother fucker around. However my story gets really weird, really fast. So buckle up. ----------------- "Danny, it's almost midnight. You need to come in to sleep." "Just give me another 30 minutes, Dad. I'm almost done installing the new valve covers I just got in!" "Alright then, just don't lose track of time. I'm going to bed." Dad said, before leaving the garage. 'Finally,' I thought to myself. I felt like I hadn't had any alone time since the races two weeks ago. I got back to work installing the new, fully chrome, valve covers when I heard acar come screeching towards the garage door and then a strange zapping noise that made my ears pop. I looked up from the engine bay and realized I wasn't in my garage anymore. Instead, I was in a very shiny garage with a thousand or more tools. Everything looked like it had never been used at all. My car definitely looked odd in this garage since it was faded and slightly rusted in some spots. I'm a girl of performance instead of looks so I never bothered with it. Before I could continue looking at the strange garage I found myself in, my phone began to ring, and it wasn't a number I recognized. I let it go to voicemail and almost immediately, it called again. I answered it the second time. "Who the hell is this?" "My name is Alex Tesla. I'm sure you're wanting to know what is happening to you right now. If you would please walk thru the door behind you, and I'll explain." I turned around and saw a door that I hadn't noticed before. "How did you get my number, and what's going on?" "Please Danny, walk thru the door and I'll explain everything." The female voice on the other end said before the call went dead. 'Can this day get any weirder?' I asked myself as I put my phone away and went thru the door. What I saw on the other side made me gasp. It was a house, but everything was huge! Everything from the couches to the TV's to the kitchen stove was gigantic. 'Yup. it just got weirder...' As I was looking around, a lady came out of the gigantic living room. As she came up to me, I quickly realized that she was also huge. She towered over me and it nearly scared me to death. I started to back up against the door when she stopped moving towards me. "Danny, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay. I am just trying to help you." "Where the hell am I and why are you so damn big?!" I said, my voice shaking slightly, giving away my fear more than I wanted to. "You're perfectly safe in my home, sweetie. As far as the size of me and all of this, maybe it's best if you take a seat." The lady said, motioning towards a chair that I hadn't noticed before. It was actually my size so a slowly walked to it and sat down. "So what is going on? What happened to my home. Was I drugged or something? Is this some sort of fucked up hallucination?" I said, then pinched myself for good measure. I looked up at the very tall lady I assumed was this Alex Tesla that called me. "No. Everything is real, believe it or not." She crouched down Infront of me and gently smiled at me. I couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed from her warm expression. "So, as far as the size of everything, that is because you have been transported to a different dimension. I don't know how to tell you this very easily so I'm just going to say it. You were nearly killed, sweetie." I stared at her like she was crazy. "Nearly killed? A different dimension? What are you talking about?" "I'm sure you noticed the screeching sound outside your garage just before you came here? That was a car that had just lost control, and it crashed right into your garage, crushing you in-between the two cars. I grabbed your life essence with a dimensional portal and took you here and brought you back with our advanced medicine and put you in the garage with your car before you awoke." She said to me, taking my hand a squeezing it gently. "Wait. So you're telling me that I'm technically dead in my dimension?" I said, stunned. "I'm afraid so sweetie." I just looked at her a moment before tears started to build in my eyes. "What about my dad?" I choked up. "Oh baby, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay." Alex said as she wrapped her arms around me in a huge embrace as I tried not to cry "I'll never be able to see my father again?" I said, sniffling. "I'm afraid not, sweetie." She responded, rubbing my back with her hand. That's when I just lost it and started balling. I was always slightly emotional and if this wasn't a time to get emotional. Alex picked my up and held me as I cried. I didn't pay attention to what she was doing too much until she put a bottle in my mouth. "Shhh baby girl, it's okay. Drink this and it will help." Alex said. So I began drinking. Don't know why it was a bottle, but it definitely wasn't the craziest thing I've experienced today. As I continued to drink the bottle, I started to get tired, and before I knew it, i was asleep. When I woke up, I was in a very comfy bed. However the bed wasn't a normal bed. This one had bars going up way above my head. It looked like a crib and I was a bit unnerved by it. As I got up, I realized that the bed wasn't the only thing off. I felt something thick holding my legs apart, so I looked down and saw two things. One, was my outfit was different. I was now in this pastel pink onesie looking thing. And two, was that under the snaps on the onesie, was a thick diaper! 'Why the FUCK am I in a diaper?' I thought to myself. As if on cue, my bladder told me that I needed to pee, and now. I stoop up and tried to reach the top of the crib bars so I could climb out and get out of this stupid diaper, but the top was still out of my reach. At that point, my bladder couldn't wait any longer, and I began to flood the diaper. I couldn't believe it at all. I was fine one second, and then only a minute later, I was desperately soaking a diaper. Nothing in this stupid world made any sense! I began to cry again as all my emotions started to flood over and Alex came in quickly. "Oh princess, don't cry! I'm here now!" She said, picking me up. "I know all this is so different for you but I promise everything will be okay, baby girl" I leaned into her as I sobbed and couldn't help from feeling comforted by her. After a bit, my cries slowed to just sniffling and Alex sat down on the huge couch with me on her lap. I looked up at her and was reminded how huge she was. "I'm sorry... It's just all that's happened. Me dying and all. -sniffle- and this diaper. Why am I in a diaper?" I said, just now thinking about it again. She looked at me softly as she held me in her lap. She then began to explain the world and how it was different than my world as there were littles, inbetweeners, and Amazon's. She was an Amazon and I was a little apparently. She told me about the natural instincts of Amazon's and how the world wasn't built for littles. With everything so big and dangerous, most littles are just seen as babies that need to be cared for. "So I'm just a baby for you then?" I asked. "While yes, you are my baby girl now, I won't be regressing you or anything else like the cruel things I mentioned some of my kind like to do." She responded with a gentle squeeze that was to reassure me. "But you littles are very small and need extra things like diapers and special care." I started thinking about everything she said and then remembered. "Okay, that makes sense and all. But what about my car and that garage that seemed my size." Alex thought for a moment before answering. "Well. I'm a car enthusiast myself and I thought it would be really nice to have a baby car enthusiast mechanic." "Well as long as I get to keep my car, I guess I'm okay with the whole thing." I said, before thinking how crazy I sounded. "Great! I know we are going to have so much fun together! I can already see it." Alex practically squealed. "So before I set the rules of the house down, would like to see my car?" She smiled down at me and I couldn't help but smile back. "Sure." Alex stood up then, and carried me to a much bigger door that was next to the garage door I came in thru. She opened it and turned the light on. "There it is!" She squealed happily. "Oh my god." Were the only words I could get out. ------------ This crazy idea just popped in my head tonight and I scribbled it down as fast as I could. Let me know what y'all think and I'll keep on writing when I can.

Author Note: Hi everyone, this is a story based in Ireland and may have some names and words that you are not familiar with, I will pop in an Authors Note at the top of each chapter to let you know when they come up. So far in this chapter the only on I have spotted is Áine which is pronounced Awn Yah and is a ladies name. But if there is anything in here that doesnt make sense please let me know. Also critique is wanted and welcomed so if you have any feedback at all please share Anyway I have rambled on enough so please enjoy the first chapter of my story. My name is Áine The stench was atrocious, stale booze, cigarettes and sweat wafted from Ainé as she sat in her Monday morning study class. Bleary eyed and just about awake, she sprawled out at her desk trying not to throw up, she was fairly sure she had mild alcohol poisoning. As was tradition she had spent Sunday night with her best friend Kelly drinking vodka, watching movies and having the craic. First thing Monday she always had unsupervised study so the two friends would take extreme advantage of that on Sunday knowing that they would not need to be fully alert until late morning. However she had never been this bad, and for good reason. Today Ainé was getting her mock results. These were important exams on the run up to the leaving cert to evaluate where students needed to improve, so these results would show where she was struggling and would need to focus on. As she broke out in a cold sweat as the alcohol tried to leave her system she took off her dark green school blazer and dumped it on the floor beside her. Her normally straight blond hair with pink highlights were a greasy tangled mess across her face as she drooled on her desk. Her slight frame hunched over her desk she was close to sleep. With her eyes closed she heard someone calling her name, she groggily opened her eyes and saw Des, one of the boys in her class trying to speak to her. She couldn't make out what he was saying so she just babbled nonsense at him till he stopped talking. Normally she would have been happy to speak with Des, he was a pretty cool kid, he was into weird stuff but he had a very dead pan sense of humor which Áine loved. However right now she just wanted to die in piece. Des soon picked up on this and let her be and she soon nodded off. Next thing Áine knew the bell rang signaling the end of class and the beginning of the next class. Ainé jerked up and was starting to feel a little bit better, she had slepped her way through the class which she greatly needed. She reached down to pick up her blazer and felt a little bit of spew on the up, however she managed to keep it down. She tucked her white, creased shirt into her green kilt, grabbing her back pack she made for the door. She was meant to go to a double maths class but considering she was due to get her mock results this morning she made her way to the sixth year rec room. On her way through the corridor she saw the bubbly form of Kelly bouncing through the halls on the way towards her. Her pale complexion, black hair tied up in pig tails and thin body brought a smile to Áine’s face, she was a beacon of happiness regardless what might be going on inside. As Kelly reached Áine they embraced intimately then turned to continue their journey. Kelly resting her head on Áine’s shoulder as they walked. “Hey how’s it going,” said Áine as she rested her head on top of Kelly’s head closing her eyes enjoying the contact from her sister in arms. Kelly took a moment to respond and linked arms with Áine “Bleh not too good, I am dying today.” Áine happy with her new entwined arm “Yeah me too. I just wanna go home,” a slight winge creeping into her voice. Kelly made her way to a bench, taking a seat “grand, here sit beside me will ya” “Clingy much?” Áine replied, looking down at her friend and couldn't help but smile. Even though she was joking around the idea of Kelly being overtly clingy towards her made Áine glow slightly “Clingy like your butt” Kelly lazily replied as she gently tugged Áine’s hand encouraging her to sit down. Áine chuckled and replied deadpan “well my butt does stick to everything” as she took a seat next to Kelly who promptly returned her head to Áine’s shoulder “anyway will we split?” “I’m up for that,” said Kelly as she started to rub circles in Áine’s hand. A cheeky smile slipped across Áine’s face as she wrapped her arm around her comrade “Will we?” “You tell me,” said Kelly as she snuggled into Áine’s chest, now that she was engulfed in half of Áine’s embrace, giving away how rough Kelly was actually feeling. They were both very touchy feely with each other, but Áine knew well enough that when Kelly wanted proper snuggles she was in a bad way. “What do you mean?” a confused Áine asked peering down at the top of Kelly’s head, wondering where the sudden change in tune had come from. Kelly looked up at her best friend and innocently said “all I have been hearing from ya is how ya want your mocks results”. Realizing that Kelly was just teasing Áine smiled “shut up you” laughing at her friends remark. A sarcastic “Ha” was all that Kelly could muster in response. Áine rolled her eyes “anyway lets at least bunk off in the rec room till we get our results” “Sounds like a plan,” sighed Kelly as she got up of the bench, making sure to grab Áine’s hand and almost dragged her the rest of the way there. The 6th year rec room was a throw back to when the secondary school was a boarding school, however in recent years the school had since stopped accepting boarders. The walls were painted a horrid shade of green and the floor was thick old wood. There were a couple of old, worn couches and arm chairs scattered around the room with a ping pong table in the centre. There was a counter top to the side with tea and coffee making facilities, a sink and a fridge that was used for milk, or any brave student who trusted their lunch to it. One side of the rec room had a huge window that looked out onto a wooded area behind the school. The girls headed to the counter top and proceeded to make some tea. “Oh man I’m nervous about the results” Áine started as she grabbed two mugs from a cupboard above the sink, placing them on the counter. Kelly looked at Áine with a smirk “Yeah I know. You won’t shut up about it” she replied dryly as she filled the kettle and set it to boil. “That’s cos my da will kill me” Áine said nonchalantly as she fished out two tea bags and popped them in the awaiting mugs. Kelly was routing around in the fridge looking for some milk which was still in date “What Charlie? Nah he is a puppy dog, you will be fine” she dismissed. “I will in me hole” said Áine as she added sugar to both. “Seriously you are mad,has he even thumped you one” Kelly asked quizzically as if parents smacking kids about was common place, where in reality she was a very spoiled child as her father was constantly away on “business” with his secretary, to which her mother would constantly look the other way to make up for an absentee father. Her father, out of guilt, would spend lavishly on Kelly bringing her home exotic presents, setting a ludicrous allowance and the cous de gras a credit card which no questions were never asked of. Áine looked at Kelly with a side smirk on her face “Not a chance, but he smacks Liam about” she said quickly. “Ah feck off they both knock the shite out of each other. It’s lad stuff” Kelly knowing full well that the two got very hyper active around each other and frequently got into horse play with each other. “Yeah when you are around,” Áine started but then trailed off as she didn't really want to get into a discussion about her home life “gets tense at home” while, like most parents, there was no physical abuse at home there were times when screaming happened and her parents would fight like cats and dogs. It had been getting to Áine a lot recently and she wasn’t too sure on how to deal with it and really didn’t want to speak up about it yet. “Come on,” Kelly started staring directly at Áine, who could not meet her peering gaze “no really come on are you actually worried about your da”. Kelly was starting to see something was up with Áine, something that she wasn't telling her about. “Well no” said Áine sheepishly. Kelly needed to know what was up with her BFF “Go on why are you worries?” She asked openly as the kettle boiled. “Seriously” Áine shot in defense as she still did not want to open up. This somewhat startled Kelly, seeing her friend defensive towards her “Yeah come on” she said as she started pouring the boiling water into the two mugs. “No don’t act like I’m weird for stressing, everyone is stressing.” Áine said quickly, with a pang of anger to her voice, not that she was angry, she was trying to deflect deeper questioning on her home life. Kelly hander her the mug of tea “But it’s not like it’s the cert” Áine took the mug and after a brief pause replied “Yeah but this shows how much of a balls up I would make of the actual exams” Kelly stirred her tea and could see that her friend was definitely stressing out so tried to lighten the mood “Fuck that, I’ll worry about that in the summer” “Nah you won’t Kelly you still won’t give a shit” Áine replied happily as she knew what Kelly was doing and knew she had her believing it was just the exams that had her stressing out. She finished stirring her tea left it to brew as Kelly did the same. “Damn straight.” Kelly laughed “I have no idea what I want to do so fuck it not going to worry till I know” “Ah here” Áine baited, throwing the attention on Kelly and her laisse faire attitude to the rest of her life. “What?” Kelly half asked knowing where this was going, they had this same discussion since fifth year. “So what if over the summer you figure shit out and want to go to college but you need a fuck load of points” said Áine as she dumped the tea bag out of her mug into a bin under the sink. “Yeah that ain’t going to happen” Kelly said knowing she hadn’t a clue on what she wanted to do but knowing she was young and not to stress about the unknown until it had become known. “Well say it does” Áine said pushing her friend for answers “Then I’ll just resit the exams and give a shit” Kelly said as she shrugged and tossed her tea bag in the bin. “Ah yeah fuck ya I forgot your mammy and daddy are loaded” Áine said smiling as she took a gulp of tea. “Shut up you” Kelly said laughing not minding being teased “Here lets have our tea over on the couch” Áine Said as she headed to a couch, Kelly behind her tea in hand. Áine sat and rested her mug on the arm of the couch. Kelly plopped down on the couch beside her and popped her tea on the ground next to the couch so she could rest her head in Áine’s lap and stretch out. Áine looked down at her friend and smiled as Kelly looked up at her with a cheeky grin. “Your fucking adorable” Áine said as she brushed Kelly’s hair from her face to one side. “Don’t I know, and good thing too because your lap is the only cure to this hang over” Kelly laughed as she closed her eyes enjoying the intimacy. “ You know even if you were a minger I would let you use my lap” Áine teased as she took a sip of tea “Ah fuck off” Kelly replied as she started to get dozy. Áine took out her phone to check the time but noticed she had a few whatsapp messages, from her mam, da and brother Liam. She quickly checked them thinking something horrible had happened, but they were just wishing her good luck with the results. This made her smile but also stressed her out as it was a reminder that she would have to rip the band aid off in about half an hour she noticed as she checked the time. At least it was still a little bit away. She put her phone away and relaxed on the couch, stroking Kelly’s cheek. Áine wasn’t sure how she felt about Kelly, she was the most important person in the world to her but she wasn’t sure if she was interested in her romantically. She knew that they were closer than friends should be and on occasion had made out, granted lots of booze had always been involved. She had never kissed Kelly while sober. She thought she was straight as she had had a few boyfriends in the past and they were fun and all, but none of them could compare in anyway to the bond she had with Kelly. She had thought what it would be like to kiss Kelly while sober and that had excited her, and was even exciting her now as she contemplated it. It was nice to think about, it also got her mind off of the impending doom of her results. Áine sighed and closed her eyes and just enjoyed the intimacy of having Kelly’s head in her lap.

I guess they know about us. I laughed...

Because of Morgan An ABDL Novella by Mina Taylor Chapter 1 My bedroom was silent, save for the buzzing of the light bulb above and the sucking of my pink butterfly pacifier. Gone was the blasé yellow flower comforter Mom had bought me when I moved back in after college, replaced with a far more appropriate slick pink Disney Princess cover, topped with my rosy pink baby blanket with my name stitched into it, encircled with a white lace heart. My stuffed bunny, Abba, rest comfortably in my arms while I stretched and smiled at the crinkle of the diaper around my waist. All my books had been taken down and put into storage. My hope chest had been covered with a plastic mat with bottles of baby powder and oil at the foot, with a large pack of diapers and an even larger box of scented baby wipes. I smiled as I snuggled into my bed, covered by the weight of the two blankets and turned on the TV to something suitable for a little girl of my age. I smiled as I saw my parent’s cable subscription included Noggin. To think there was ever a time where there wasn’t a channel dedicated to programming for toddlers! I giggled as I pulled my paci out and reached over to my dresser, where a fresh bottle of apple juice was waiting for me. Eagerly, I thrust the rubber nipple into my mouth and nursed thirstily as I babbled back at Dora the answers to the questions she was asking me. I was so excited to help her and Boots go on an adventure! I was even more excited when I felt a warm pressure at my bladder. Relaxing as best I could, fighting twenty years of potty training to the utmost, I managed to get a few drops into my waiting diaper before I was finally able to force the floodgates wide open. Agu! I thought to myself, imaging myself to be almost two years old, getting better at speaking but still resorting to baby talk. Mommy, daddy, pee pee! Holly uhoh! Changie me! I grinned and blushed around my bottle, nearly reaching adult baby nirvana, when I heard the first creak. The bottle popped out of my mouth as I sat up in bed. The panic set in when I heard the door upstairs close. My heart pounded like a jackhammer against my chest as I scrambled out of bed, tearing off the comforter and my baby blanket and stuffing it into the cardboard box at the foot of the bed where I had been hiding them. My parents had been gone for almost two hours on their way to Kansas City, and knowing my dad, he would not have forgotten anything. Even if he had, he would just buy what he forgot when they arrived. I gasped as I put the half-empty bottle of juice and the pacifier on top and twisted my body around, searching for my sweatpants. “Holly?” I heard my sister Morgan calling from upstairs, the sound of her feet pacing casually across the kitchen floor, right above my basement bedroom. “I saw your car outside. Are you home?” Crap! I recalled, remembering how I forgot to put my car in the garage after Mom and Dad left, too excited to think of anything else other than my 72-hour getaway of being a baby again. Morgan wasn’t supposed to know I was still here, and Morgan wasn’t supposed to be here. She was going to Wisconsin Dells with her boyfriend. They were supposed to have left tonight. Don’t tell me… “I’m here,” I managed to call out, having more than 75% of the incriminating evidence put away. “What happened to your weekend with Travis?” “Travis got stuck working. One of his co-workers had appendicitis and they needed him to come in this weekend, so we decided to reschedule.” Shit. “So…” I panted, shoving all my diapering supplies into the hope chest and pushing the large box of wipes, too big for the inside, into the closet. “You’re staying here this weekend?” “I don’t know,” she answered, honestly to my annoyance. I pulled both ponytail holders I had used to put my medium brunette hair up into pigtails out of my hair, letting it down as I struggled to find a clean shirt. “Are you downstairs?” I heard the basement door open as my heart leapt higher than I had felt it leap before. “Don’t come down!” I shouted in a panic. Immediately, I realized anything else would have been better to say, but Morgan’s curiosity was piqued, and that meant bad things for me. “Why?” she asked as I heard her feet coming down the stairs. I panicked, looking for the Febreeze to cover up any babyish smells that may have already filled my room to no avail. Quickly, I came out of my room, turned on the light in the main den just outside and went to greet my sister. “I was just on my way up,” I tried to explain. “Okay,” she answered, but didn’t sound like she believed me. My little sister Morgan was far more perceptive than my parents and I needed to get her out of the house as soon as possible. I had been waiting for a month for this. With everyone gone, I was finally going to be able to indulge in my little self, and here was Morgan, as always, ready to completely ruin my plans. It wasn’t that I hated Morgan. She was my sister after all, but I couldn’t help but think of all the times my life would be easier if she wasn’t my sister. Only being two years younger than me, there was such a little gap in our ages that the whole “big sister, little sister” thing never happened and we weren’t twins. It was awkward. I was into nerdy things like cartoons and fantasy books, and she was into the things most girls liked. We never shared clothes or makeup, never liked the same boys… she had well-kept honey blonde hair and flawless skin, and I don’t even want to talk about her boobs… It goes to say Morgan was my sister in name only, but name only was all Morgan needed to make my life miserable. I never tried to compare myself to her, but she always made sure to let me know when she did something better than me or when she did something before me. I always took it in stride, congratulating her on her various achievements despite how much I wanted to scream and tell her what I really thought of her arrogant attitude over me, and I could only imagine the things she would say if she found me in a diaper of all things tonight. I could not, I would not let that happen. As I made it to the top of the stairs, Morgan was getting a Diet Coke from the fridge. Of course, she didn’t ask me if I wanted one. I sat down in one of the tall chairs at the granite kitchen island as my sister took a seat at the table, grabbing the remote and turning on MTV. “So what are your plans tonight?” she asked. I resisted the urge to strangle her then and there for interrupting them, but held back. It was a blessing she didn’t know. “Just hanging around the house?” “Yeah,” I replied, not feeling any need to follow up. “Callie said she’s going to the movies, so I think I’ll go too,” she announced. I kept myself in check, careful not to celebrate just yet, but my urge to get her out of the house could not be contained. “Going soon then?” I asked, hoping for a yes. “In about an hour,” she replied, hunched over the table. “I’m going to watch Teen Mom first.” Oh god no, I thought as I searched for one of Mom’s tabloid magazines on the island. I already couldn’t stand MTV, but a show about young moms taking care of their babies would drive me up the wall tonight as I stewed in my sodden diaper, becoming colder by the second. The number of worries I had just continued to pile up as Morgan sat there without a care in the world. “You watch this show, Holly?” Morgan asked. “Oh wait, it’s not a cartoon so probably not.” “I’ve seen it,” I lied. “Once or twice.” “Really?” Morgan became curious. “Since when do you watch MTV?” “It makes for good background noise when I’m reading,” I admitted. That wasn’t a lie. Stupid television shows really did make it easy to focus on whatever book I was reading. “Oh,” Morgan replied, sounding disappointed. Of course she would be. It was just one more thing that made us as different as night and day. I kept quiet, focusing on reading trashy celebrity gossip as Morgan watched her show intently and I did my best not to pay attention. The growing irritation of my diaper was taking up most of my focus anyway. I was doing pretty good, holding my focus and bearing with the growing cold and irritation of my wet diaper until about fifteen minutes before Morgan was getting ready to leave. She got up from the table to put her coke can in the recycling bin outside, stopping just inches from me. I looked at her as she paused and turned to me, quizzically. Her nostrils flared as my eyes got wide. “What is that?” she said aloud. “Do you smell that?” “Smell what?” I played dumb. It was all I could do as I prayed my face was not flushing red at that very moment. “It smells like a diaper,” she said. Her voice carried a welcome sense of disbelief. I laughed, remembering my sister’s job at the daycare down the street she had been working at while going for her education degree. “Maybe you’ve just smelled so many dirty diapers, the smell is ingrained in your nose.” “Oh god,” Morgan hit me, not too hard but hard enough. “Don’t even joke about that. You have no idea what it’s like.” You wanna bet? I thought with a little smirk as she made her way outside with the empty soda can. She walked back inside, smelling my wet diaper again, but choosing to ignore it. I sighed a little bit as she went over to the couch to finish her show. With relief, she got up to get ready to meet her friend at the movies as soon as it was over. Making sure she had her keys, I played the dutiful big sister. “Do you have everything you need?” I asked as she looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Of course,” she answered with a bit of a snap. “I’m not like you, always forgetting something.” I smirked again. No fights tonight. Just have to get her out of the house and back to my downstairs paradise. I wasn’t about to blow this now, not when I was so close to being alone again, just me and my infantile thoughts. “Have a good time,” I managed to call out as she went out the front door. Morgan didn’t respond as she closed the door. She didn’t need to respond though. Her absence was the sweetest music to my ears. My diaper was already beginning to itch as I headed back downstairs to my room, pulling out all my supplies and redressing the hope chest. Dropping my sweatpants and taking off my shirt, letting my small breasts out. For a moment, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to calm down as I spread the plastic mat over the chest. Grabbing my paci from the cardboard box I stored it in, I popped it in my mouth, nursing rhythmically on it as I lay down and spread my legs, reaching on each side to untape my crinkling wet diaper decorated with teddy bears and balloons. As the cool air rushed into my smothered nether regions, I whimpered as I pulled the front of the diaper forward, allowing my bare privates to embrace the refreshing open space. I closed my eyes, imagining someone that I could exactly see, but whose presence comforted me. I couldn’t decide if it was a man or a woman, mommy or daddy, picking up my legs as I lifted them myself. I strained down beneath me, opening the first of the many soft plastic packs of baby wipes I had bought as I pulled out the first one. Ceremoniously, I draped the tip of it over my nose and took in its scent. I can’t remember a day in my life where the sight, the smell, or even the thought of baby wipes did not put my brain on lockdown. It’s an obsession that I’ve lived for as long as I can remember living, but I’ve never been able to figure out why. It would have made my life a lot easier if I didn’t. Taking in that intoxicatingly powerful and fresh scent made my whole body tingle, like inhaling a drug. It was because of those moist scented little cloths that I was this way, that I became an adult baby, and that I craved to be diapered and bottle-fed and put in a crib. It was a fate I had resigned myself to many years ago after fighting against it for so long. In fact, tonight was the first night I was fully indulging in these desires, acting like I was less than two for the first time since I was less than two. I giggled a little to myself around my pacifier, nursing happily as I dropped the baby wipe over my face so it was all I could smell. Reaching down with a trembling hand beneath me, I grabbed another wipe and began to gently rub it on my left nipple, then my right, trailing it down my tummy and under my love handles, which made me squirm and twitch with pleasure with its feather-soft touch. “Holly, I…” The wipe fluttered down from my face over my vagina as I sat up on the hope chest, twisting my head at the bedroom door so quickly I’m surprised I didn’t break my neck in the process. My eyes widened, unable to blink as my mouth hung just slightly open, looking over at the door, and seeing Morgan standing at the entrance to my room in full sight of my infantile self. Chapter 2 It’s true what they say, that the things you fear happening the most will happen at the very moment you least suspect them to happen. I expected Mom would walk in on me one night with a pacifier in my mouth, or might find my diapers while I was out looking for a job. This was not on my list of predictions. This wasn’t even something I had ever considered happening, and it was for this very reason that when my eyes met Morgan’s that my mind froze up as I sat there, naked and smelling like a baby, unable to move, unable to scream. It didn’t seem I was alone in the matter either. Morgan too was standing in the doorway, standing perfectly still. Her eyes were widened and her brow bent, looking as though she was struggling to comprehend what she had just walked in on, if she should say anything, or if she should just leave. “I…” Morgan spoke, stopping, as if she was having trouble remembering how to speak. “I just… I’m low on money for gas, and was wondering… I wanted to ask…” It seemed as she found her capacity to speak, she always found her capacity to move. Quickly, she took a step back, and then another. I realized she was going to leave. My own brain kicked into gear at that time, and the first thing it told me was she can’t leave. I didn’t even think of the consequences of my actions as I got up off the hope chest as Morgan broke into a full run towards the staircase back to the main floor and out of the house. Naked as the day I was born, I charged out of my room after her, latching on firmly to the staircase handle as I used my momentum to catapult myself around and up the staircase, launching myself at Morgan and grabbing her legs with desperate hands. We both fell face-first onto the carpeted steps, the sound of us falling making such a loud booming sound I thought people well outside the house may have heard it. Morgan immediately began to kick at my face. “Let me go!” she screamed over and over again. “Get away from me!” “I can’t!” I cried, half from the pain of being kicked and half from the terror that had finally surfaced in the realization that I had been caught. “I won’t! You can’t go! I won’t let you!” I threw my body around her legs, dragging her back down the stairs as she clawed at the stairs and walls. By this point, and rightfully so, Morgan was really scared. Maybe if I had been calmer about things, things would have gone better, but I didn’t know what to do. All I could do was what my instincts were telling me and make sure she didn’t tell anyone. I got on top of her, holding her down as she kicked and screamed at the top of her lungs. “Get off me, you freak! Help! Someone help!” My hands tightened around her wrists as I looked down on her, screaming in horror at the actions I had taken. I couldn’t imagine what was going on in her mind. I was too afraid of what I was seeing in my mind if I let her go. It became too much for me, to see my sister like this at my hands and to feel the way I did from her finding me indulging in my adult baby state, I finally snapped and broke down. She kneed me in the stomach as I feel over on top of her, crying loudly with big ugly tears gushing from the corners of my eyes, leaving scalding trails down my cheeks. I moaned and wailed as I reached out to her in futility, realizing I couldn’t silence my sister and that I wouldn’t be able to stop her from telling anyone she pleased. I curled up in a ball, assuming my short life, as I knew it, was done and over. Morgan gathered herself, visibly shaken as she hurried for the staircase. “Please!” I wailed in desperation. “You can’t! You can’t tell anyone! You might as well kill me!” “Is that what you were going to do to me?” she screeched back. I winced from the sound and the sting of her words. “I’m sorry,” I bawled. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry… I didn’t… I didn’t know what to do,” I choked out through my sobs and stilted breathing. “I was scared. I was terrified. If anyone found out, I was dead. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to… I just…” Morgan paused halfway up the staircase, neither taking a step back down or a step towards the ground floor. She simply looked down on my, eyes narrowed, judging me, condemning me. “You just what?” she asked in a demanding tone, so calm and collected it shook me deeply. “You just what, Holly?” “I can’t help it,” I tried to find the words to explain, words I had no intention of saying to anyone ever face to face, surfacing through my blubbering as I looked up at Morgan with swollen, puffy eyes. “I can’t… I’ve always been like this. I’ve always wanted this, for as long as I can remember. I would have given anything to stop, to forget wanting this, but I wasn’t strong enough on my own, and I couldn’t tell anyone. I was too scared. I still am.” “And that makes you think you can…” Morgan tried to respond, her voice lording over me, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand to hear her self-righteous holier-than-thou tone for one more second. “It doesn’t!” I screamed. “But it’s all I have and I can’t let you take it from me! I’m nine months out of college and I have no job! I had to move in with Mom and Dad! I have no boyfriend! I have to borrow money from Mom and Dad to go anywhere and do anything! I have no life! This is all I have, Morgan! This is the only thing I have left that makes me happy and you were going to take it from me, like you always do!” “I don’t always…” she tried to go on in the same tone. Again, I silenced her with my own voice, louder and more demanding as I banged on the basement floor in my vulnerable state. “You do! You always do!” I shouted, my tears dripping onto the carpet. “You always tell me about how much better off you are than me! About how you’re working to be ready for a job when you’re done with college! About how I was stupid to get a liberal arts degree! About how you have a boyfriend! About how you have more money, and a nicer car, and your own apartment! About all your friends! About your perfect fucking life! Well, this is it, Morgan! This is the best thing in my life! This is what I am now… so go ahead… now that you know, go ahead - make sure everyone knows that you are better than me in every single way… it’s what you’ve always wanted.” My face was cherry red, my heart pulsing harder than ever, snot dripping from my nose and the tears still coming. I could feel my body giving out as I collapsed on the floor in a pile of despair as Morgan went back up the stairs. Curling my knees to my chest, I wished to wake up, to find it was all a dream, crying until I woke up, only to find that when I closed my eyes, that’s when the real nightmare began. I looked down on myself, exposed, diapered with a comically large baby big around my neck with the words “Little Stinker” typed onto it, sucking on a pacifier that I could seem to reach to take out of my mouth. I was on a chain, unable to see who was leading me as I passed all my family and friends who stared at me in mixed reactions ranging from unbelieving laughter to shock and horror. As I was walked along by the chain, I found myself messing the diaper, seeing stench lines spread out to my captive audience, signaling for them to demean and disown me of my humanity and Morgan, front and center, smiling with satisfaction. “Holly,” I heard her speak as the nightmare began to warp and distort, falling into black. “Holly… Holly…” “Holly,” I heard to voice clearer as I felt the light poke of a finger digging into the back of my shoulder. “Holly, wake up.” I groaned as I rolled over, looking through blurry, crusted eyes as Morgan quickly stepped back, as if she had been waking a sleeping lion. “Hm? What?” “Get dressed and come upstairs,” she said, retreating up the staircase. “We need to talk.” A deep, dark feeling sank in my chest. My arms trembled as I struggled to push myself off the carpet. Stumbling to my bedroom, following the pale yellow light through the darkness, I managed to find my sweatpants and the same clean shirt I had worn earlier this evening. Slipping into them, I made my way up the stairs, feeling as though I was climbing the steps of an hangman’s platform towards a waiting noose. I squeezed my eyes shut as I made my way to the top, looking past the kitchen at the clock to see what time it was. My eyes and my body still hurt, but I was able to squint enough that I could see it was only 10:30. Morgan was leaving at 9:00, which meant only an hour, 90 minutes at most, had passed. Did she not go to the movie? Had she been here the whole time? “Over here,” she called out to me from the living room, sitting in a dark green upholstered chair. She pointed towards the dark brown couch near her, ushering me to take a seat. I did as I was told, having calmed down and realizing my fate now lied in my younger sister’s hands. Morgan sat on the chair, wrenching her hands, tensing as I approached her and took a seat. I didn’t blame her. I felt terrible for how I reacted and I knew there was no way I could ever fully apologize for what I did. Morgan sat there for a few minutes, struggling to say something. I thought of opening my mouth, but I had already said everything I wanted and needed to say already. “What exactly did I walk in on down there?” she began, spitting it out forcibly, as if it was something she needed to get out there at any cost. I retracted at the question. Did she not see what I had been doing? All the paraphernalia I was surrounded by? How could she have thought of anything else? “You saw,” I answered. “You already know.” “I want to hear it from you, word for word, exactly what I saw.” “I can’t…” the words fell out before I could stop them, coming out of pure reaction before Morgan interrupted me loudly. “Holly, tell me now, or I will tell Mom and Dad.” My heart leapt, only for a moment, at the possibility that Morgan hadn’t told anyone yet, but knowing there were conditions to that possibility tugged at my chest painfully. For as nervous as I had been at making sure no one found out, the fact Morgan knew made things even harder. I had to say something. “I was changing my diaper, sucking on my pacifier, and touching myself with baby wipes.” Morgan paused for a moment, having to comprehend exactly what I had just said. “Why were you wearing a diaper?” “Because…” I winced with fresh tears ready to burst. “Because I’m an adult baby. I’m an adult who likes to act like a baby. It makes me feel happy. You were supposed to be gone this weekend and I was already in a diaper when you got here. I didn’t expect you to be here, or anyone for that matter. It was just supposed to be me. No one was supposed to see.” “And you’re embarrassed by this?” “What the hell do you think?” I cried, rising off the couch before I was stopped with a simple utterance of my name. “Holly!” Morgan shouted in a loud, commanding voice, as if she were my own mother. “You won’t talk to me like that again. Answer the question.” “Yes,” I said in a very small voice. “I’ve always been embarrassed by it. It’s who I am and I can’t let anyone know. I can’t imagine what they would say or do. I don’t want to.” “What do you think now that I know?” “I don’t know what to think,” I answered, trying to keep as calm as possible and failing. “I don’t know why you’re doing this to me, interrogating me like this. I don’t care if you do or don’t understand. You never even loved me, you never even tried, so what do you care now? Just go. I don’t even care anymore.” I was waiting for Morgan to answer with some haughty remark about how much it means to me now that she knows, but she remained silent for a long time, staring down at her hands rather than me. My eyes remained fixated on her, waiting for her to bite back like always. As the minutes passed, Morgan did finally react, standing up, ending our brief conversation. I was prepared for her to leave and let me stew in anticipation for the end of my normal life, but I jumped as she took my hand and pulled me upright off the couch. “Come on,” she asked, devoid of any real emotion. “We’re going downstairs.” “For what?” I fought back, pulling my hand away. “So you can humiliate me more? So you can lord over me how much better you are than me?” “Do you want to be a baby this weekend or not?” Did I… did she just ask me what I think she asked me? No, no that couldn’t have happened. My mind raced as I felt my hand taken by Morgan as I was led in my stupor back down into the basement back into my bedroom. Morgan let go of my hand and looked around the room, her arms crossed over her abdomen. “Show me everything,” she commanded sharply. “Like what?” I asked, not understand the command. “Everything,” she repeated again, enunciating the word pointedly. “All the baby things you bought for this weekend for you. I want to see all of it.” “Why do I have to…?” “Holly, you are in no place to talk back to me right now,” Morgan responded, again with the voice that was not condescending but rather authoritative, talking to me as though I was a child… or more like… “Holly, I don’t have all day.” Like a baby. I looked at Morgan, grimacing and seeking mercy only to find none from her stern gaze. I couldn’t risk her telling anyone so I did as I was told, taking out everything until I had a sizeable pile of various infant accessories spread across the bedroom floor; my Disney Princess bed sheet set, my baby blanket, a white plastic changing mat, a full pack of Bambinos minus the one I had used tonight, a box full of several packs of scented baby wipes, lavender-scented baby powder, baby lotion, baby oil, baby bath, baby shampoo, bath toys, teething rings, a rattle, building blocks, a pink bib that read “I’m An Angel”, a mint green baby bottle, and my treasured butterfly-shaped pacifier. Morgan looked upon my collection, her hazel eyes widening with a sense of being impressed and surprised. “That’s everything?” “That’s everything,” I sighed, collapsing behind my decent-sized pile of shame. “Okay, that should be enough,” Morgan said, picking up the plastic changing mat and carrying it into the main room of the basement, laying it on the black leather ottoman next to the couch. “Come on, over here.” “What are you going to do with that?” I asked, following her into the main room. She patted the mat twice, looking in my direction. The signal was not lost on me, but the command wasn’t one I was going to follow. “Are you kidding me?” “Get over here, Holly. Don’t make me ask you again.” “You’re not serious,” I stated clearly. “You can’t be serious.” “Holly Elizabeth Decker,” she spoke to me in a manner that made me know that without any room for second-guessing exactly what she wanted me to do. “Lay down over here right now or I won’t be the only person who knows about what you’ve been doing with the money Mom and Dad have been giving you each month.” Oh dear God, my mind screamed as I took slow, tentative steps in Morgan’s direction. She waited for me patiently as I made my way over to her. She looked at me as I stood in front of her, fully clothed, with a look of disbelief. I gasped in realization but Morgan was faster, taking full responsibility for my undressing, urging me to lie down naked on the cold plastic mat as she went back to my bedroom, coming back with powder and a clean diaper. “So here’s what’s going to happen. How much did Mom and Dad give you this month?” Morgan asked, looking at me and expecting a quick reply. “Three hundred,” I responded, to which Morgan had to keep from laughing. The idea that my unemployed self, who didn’t have to pay rent or for food, who spent most days looking for a job, would need so much money was ridiculous to her. “I want two hundred.” “You’re blackmailing me?” I sat up quickly, but found myself quickly pushed back down as she diligently lifted my legs by my ankles and put the diaper underneath me. “That’s my money!” “Babies don’t need money,” she explained as she unscrewed the cap on the powder bottle and applied the snowy dust liberally to my bottom. “And babies don’t take care of themselves. If I don’t watch you, who knows what you’ll end up doing without anyone to stop you. Until Sunday when Mom and Dad get back, you are going to do everything I tell you to do and you’re not going to give me any lip. If you don’t do as you’re told, you’ll be punished. If you keep it up, then I will tell everyone about what you’ve been doing in secret with your parents’ money. As long as you do as you’re told, no one will know about tonight except you and me. Are we understood?” “What if…?” “We aren’t negotiating any of this. You attacked me. That’s illegal and I have the right to go to the cops. I know you didn’t mean it but I’m still within my rights, and unless you agree, that’s what I’m going to do,” Morgan stated clearly as she taped me snug into my new diaper, clean and dry and smelling of baby powder. “Are we understood?” I paused, unsure if I should say yes or no, knowing the consequences of each wasn’t weighing heavily in my favor either way. “Can I ask why?” “Because you’re my sister,” Morgan answered, pursing her lips anxiously. “And because no matter what you think about me, I don’t hate you and I wouldn’t try to hurt you. So, yes or no?” I looked at my sister anxiously, unsure if I could really trust her after everything I knew about the twenty years I had spent with her on this earth, but if she was telling the truth, if she was really going to look out for me, I had to take that chance over the alternative. I nodded softly as she took my hand with a small smirk, maybe even half a smile, as she led me back to my room and had me lay down on my bed, tucking me tight into my Disney Princess bed sheets and covering me with my baby blanket. “It’s past your bedtime,” Morgan told me teasingly. “Sleep tight. I’ll see you in the morning.” She turned off the light and I winced, remembering I had forgotten my teddy bear nightlight. I didn’t have the heart to ask her to get it out of its hiding place in my dresser drawer. As darkness fell around me, I fell into a restless sleep. It seemed I was going to get my weekend of being a baby after all, but I was going to be treated like one as well. Chapter 3 It feels like it’s been an eternity since I last saw the sun. Having laid in bed all night spending equal times awake and asleep, I began to doubt the sun was ever going to rise again. Sure enough, a wave of indigo light surfaced from the darkness, yielding to a morning I had begun to doubt was coming. I squirmed beneath my covers, feeling the soft, cushiony material of my diaper bunch up around my thighs, urging me to remember the events of last night. I threw my baby blanket over my head, trying to blot out the steadily rising sun and push away the reality the morning would bring. Maybe she left, I curled up tightly on the bed, fearing the worst. Maybe she just said all those things so she would have a chance to leave. I wouldn’t blame her. It was in this thinking that I was startled by the sounds of footsteps above me in the kitchen. Morgan was still here, and from the sounds of pans being taken out and her pacing the kitchen, it sounded like she was busy making breakfast. I held the blanket tighter over my head. I didn’t want to believe that my sister could ever care about me, when she had never shown any sign of caring about me up until now. Why was she really doing this? Blackmail? Pity? My mind raced to find Morgan’s ulterior motive for agreeing to “babysit” me for the weekend as I heard her footsteps echoing down the basement staircase. Within moments, she was at my door. I closed my eyes, wanting her to think I was and had been asleep all night long. Lifting the blanket from over my head, I made sure to remain perfectly still, budging only when she gently nudged me with her hand. “Good morning, Holly,” she welcomed me back to the waking world with an active smile, or at least that’s what I think I saw. I may have still been dreaming. “Up and at’em, sleepyhead.” I grumbled and grabbed the blanket over my head. “No,” I fought back. “Five more minutes.” “We have a busy day, Holly,” Morgan announced, no change at all in her pleasant morning tone. “We can’t have you sleeping all day. Rise and shine.” I held tight to my baby blanket, so Morgan grabbed my bed sheets and ripped them off with one strong fluid motion. I whimpered, curling up and finding what salvation I could in my blankie while Morgan sat on the bed, shaking me again by the shoulder. “Holly, don’t be difficult,” Morgan sighed, grabbing me from under the shoulder and pulling me into an upright position. “Now get up, I need to check your diaper.” “It’s dry,” I yawned, standing up. This did not deter Morgan at all as she grabbed the front of my diaper and pulled it back with the waist of my sweatpants and looked inside. I blushed, taken aback by the complete lack of privacy I had as Morgan did the same in the back, letting go of the waist of my diaper and pants with a muffled snap. “So you are,” she concluded, patting me on the butt. “Good girl staying dry all night. Now let’s go upstairs for breakfast.” Morgan did not miss a beat as she corralled me towards the staircase. Her tone, her body language, and her choice of words… she really was treating me as if I were actually a baby. It conflicted me the way she was treating me; part of me wanted to tell her to stop, but another part of me, the part of me I wanted to embrace this weekend, was compliant and willful to do as her babysitter told her. Morgan remained pleasant in the face of my compliance as she took my hand and helped me up the stairs. I tried to take them at my normal pace, but Morgan held tightly to my hand. As I moved, I nearly pulled her back down again, but this time Morgan was ready, hand firmly planted on the railing. She looked at me with playful exasperation. “Now, Holly, if you run, you might fall. Hold my hand and we’ll go up the stairs together.” I smiled a little, doing as I was told as Morgan called out “left foot, right foot” over and over as we walked up the staircase, hand in hand. The sound of my diaper crinkling echoed up and down the narrow staircase with every step I took, serving as a constant reminder of my place, but Morgan’s hand, holding mine gently, guiding me until we reached the ground floor and the kitchen somehow managed to put me at ease and make me feel okay. It was like the Morgan I knew had become someone completely different overnight. “Sit down and I’ll get you a plate,” she told me as I dutifully obeyed, sitting down at the head of the table near the patio door. I looked to my right into the living room, seeing Strawberry Shortcake on the TV. I looked at Morgan, completely disinterested with the cartoon, before I turned back in active interest. As the show moved into commercials, Morgan brought me a small plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of milk in one of my old sippy cups. I guessed that somehow it must have managed to stay in the cupboard all these years, but my attention was quickly drawn to the utensil she had got for me. “Does Holly want to feed herself like a big girl or let Miss Morgan feed her?” Morgan asked me, pinching a small white spoon with an airplane-shaped handle. Its age showed in the fading color of the red, yellow, and blue windows on the plane, but the sight made me twinge with nostalgia. It was already too much to see Morgan found the relic of my infancy, but to be fed with it was too much for me. “I’ll feed myself,” I replied softly, taking the spoon and examining it, hardly believing it was real. First, Morgan found the sippy cup and now the airplane fork. How many other reminders of my toddler years did my parents keep? Pinching the small utensil between my thumb and forefinger, I dipped the spoon into the fluffy white eggs. Morgan watched intently and couldn’t help but comment. “My, someone knows how to hold her spoon like a big girl too! Are you really a baby, Holly, or are you just pretending?” I looked at my sister, reading the knowing look in her eyes and her sly smile. She was testing me. I could tell she intended to treat me like a baby to the fullest, but did she really intend for me to act like a baby to the fullest? I added these questions to the already sizeable pile in the back of my head about her motivations, doubting I would get any answers anytime soon. I hesitated with the spoon, pinched between my fingers, gulping as I looked at Morgan with uncertainty. Widening her eyes a little, she motioned with her gaze towards my breakfast, but I felt too self-conscious to eat like this, placing the spoon down on the table, Morgan reached out. “Well, if Holly doesn’t want to do it herself, Miss Morgan can make sure…” “No,” I said with a small but defiant voice, like a toddler asserting her independence to be a big kid, even though she really wasn’t. “I can do it.” Morgan watched intently as I reached down again, this time grasping the airplane spoon with my whole hand, scooping up eggs like a shovel. I avoided Morgan’s stare as I leaned in close to scoop each little bit of eggs into my mouth. “Good girl,” she said encouragingly. “I’m going to go clean up so you be good and don’t make a mess. I want to see a clean plate, little missy.” I blushed at her term for me, reassuring me of my role as I continued to eat. Not that Morgan was a terrible cook, but the eggs tasted a bit overdone. I tried to solve the problem with my sippy cup, of which I did not have nearly the same problems drinking as I did with eating with the airplane spoon. It was similar to my baby bottle, but the milk eventually ran out, leaving me with just the dry eggs. I got up to go to the refrigerator to get some ketchup, only to stop at the sound of another scolding. “Excuse me,” Morgan’s voice rang out loud and clear for me to hear. “Did you need something, Holly?” “I was just getting some ketchup,” I tried to explain as Morgan walked over in my direction, taking my hand and leading me away from the refrigerator. “Hey, what gives?” “The refrigerator’s off limits,” Morgan explained, helping me back into my chair. Once I was properly seated and pushed in for good measure, Morgan went to the refrigerator and came back with the ketchup. “I can do that myself,” I asserted myself as she opened the cap on the ketchup bottle. “Really?” she asked, feigning surprise. “None of the two-year-olds I work with can handle squirting their own ketchup without making a mess.” “I’m not two,” I replied, to which Morgan looked at me, smirking as she squirted the sweet red sauce over my eggs, not even letting me do it myself. “Yes,” she corrected me, putting the cap back on the ketchup bottle. “Yes you are, Holly. Now hurry up and finish your breakfast while I finish cleaning up.” Morgan’s words stuck with me as I returned to my breakfast. I really was going to get the full toddler experience. Once again, I attempted to navigate the airplane spoon, only to get more and more frustrated with just the tiny pieces I could get into my mouth. Fed up, I got closer to my plate, sloppily shoveling my breakfast into my mouth as Morgan cleaned up the pans and counters. “Holly!” she called out to me halfway through my meal. “What did I tell you?” Realizing how close I was too my breakfast, I pulled away to see I had spilled a good portion of eggs on the table and my face was covered with bits of egg and smears of ketchup. Hands on her hips, Morgan looked at me with fake surprise, as if she had expected this to happen. “You hold still while I get your bib. No more messes!” I sat perfectly still where I was, feeling very small from my scolding as Morgan went downstairs and came up with my bib and a pack of baby wipes. Without dropping a beat, she pulled and tied the loose pink strings until the velvety fabric of the bib came up around my neck, knotting them with a big bow. “I knew you weren’t a big girl, Holly, but that’s okay. We’re gonna make sure you eat all your yummy eggs and then we’ll clean you up, okay?” I couldn’t even respond as Morgan hurriedly dipped the airplane spoon into my breakfast and pulled out a bite, holding it out towards my mouth. “Open wide,” she asked of me, circling the airplane around my mouth. “The airplane’s coming in for a landing.” I hesitated, but Morgan continued to prompt me until I finally opened my mouth and she landed the airplane in the hanger. The force of having the spoon put inside my mouth by someone else was both uncomfortable and humiliating. The first bite did not go as planned, as I spit it out when Morgan pulled the spoon out before I even had a moment to react. “Holly, be good,” she warned me. “No more messes. Eat your breakfast.” Having a better idea of what was coming did not make it any more comfortable, but I was able to react faster, taking in the food before Morgan could pull the spoon out. It became like a rhythm after a while. In goes the spoon, close my mouth, eat, out goes the spoon, chew, in goes the spoon, close my mouth, eat, out goes the spoon… As soon as I finally felt comfortable with the rhythm, Morgan suddenly put the spoon down and began clapping her hands happily. I clapped my hands too, though I wasn’t sure why we were clapping. “Yay, you did it!” Morgan cheered. “Clean plate! Good girl, Holly! Now let’s get that icky face clean too.” I looked at my plate to see it really was clean, before Morgan fetched a baby wipe from the pack and smothered my face with it. Despite how good it smelled and was making my face smell, the pressure of Morgan’s hand scrubbing my cheeks and mouth clean made me squirm and wince as I struggled in my chair. “I know, I know, but we’re almost done,” Morgan said, wiping daintily at the corners of my lips. “There we go, what a pretty clean baby you are!” I spit a little bit, the soapy taste of wipes on my lips as Morgan pulled out my chair and helped me up, whether I needed the help or not. She faked grunting as she helped me stand up. “Oof, you’re heavy. How much did you eat, Holly?” “Morgan,” I finally sighed out loud. “You don’t have to go this far. I don’t need…” “Miss Morgan,” Morgan corrected me, putting a finger on my lips. “And yes, I do need to go this far. This is what we agreed on, right? You’re a little two-year-old who still wears diapers and needs to be looked after, and I’m the one looking after you. That means doing as you are told and addressing me with respect, the same I would ask of any of the other toddlers I look after. Now, come on, we need to get you dressed so we can run errands.” “Errands?” I repeated, pulling away from her. “Oh no, no no no, that’s not happening. I am not going out like this and you can’t make me.” Morgan put her hands on her hips, speaking to me as if she were trying to reason with a small child. “Holly, I can’t leave you here by yourself. Are you going to be a good girl and come downstairs with Miss Morgan to get dressed or are you going to throw a fit?” “I’m not going!” I stomped my foot on the floor so hard it made the plates on the table rattle. I stared Morgan down, daring her to do something. If she wanted to treat me like I was two, I would act like I was two. What I didn’t anticipate was Morgan’s reaction. She was willing to punish me like I was two. “Holly, do you need a time out?” Morgan said in a low, threatening voice. “But you just said you had errands,” I argued. “You don’t have time to put me in time out and get your errands done.” “No, I’ll have time,” Morgan affirmed, staring me down with a knowing gaze. “What I won’t have time for is finding you clean clothes that hide your diaper bulge, so you’ll just have to wear whatever I find, whether people can see you’re wearing a diaper underneath or not. Now then, Miss Sassy Pants, I’ll ask you one more time, are you going to be a good girl and come with Miss Morgan or are we going to have to put you in time out?” I couldn’t tell if Morgan was just playing the role of the caretaker, if she was enjoying her place of power over me, or both. I felt so small in front of her as I shrank back, looking down at my toes, afraid to look Morgan in the eye. “Well, missy,” Morgan pushed me to answer. “What’s it going to be?” I fiddled with my hands behind my back, turning my ahead away and answering in a very soft and small voice; “…’ll gu.” “What was that?” “I’ll go,” I said, wincing and ready to cry. “I’ll go. I’ll be a good girl. Just make sure no one can see my… my…” “Your diaper?” Morgan emphasized, making me blush in embarrassment. I could only nod as I took her hand as she led me back downstairs in the same careful motions she had walked me up the stairs before. Still holding my hand, she took me into my room and began to look through my dresser and my closet. “Let’s see, let’s see,” she said allowed as she dug through my clothes. Everything was too tight, so Morgan took out a pair of purple jogging pants. “How about this and a loose T-shirt?” Morgan offered “Are you kidding?” I stifled a laugh. “I’ll look so dumpy.” “Would you rather advertise your pampered butt wherever I need to go?” Morgan raised an eye towards me. I blushed, looking away again. “T-shirt’s fine…” “That’s what I thought,” Morgan acknowledged, walking over to me with the shirt, white with purple and blue flowers spackled across the front, placing it and the sweatpants on my bed. “Arms up.” I obeyed, lifting my arms as Morgan pulled my shirt off over my head, then went for my pants, pulling them down in one sharp motion. “Step out,” she commanded as I stepped back out of the leg holes, careful not to trip. “Good girl,” Morgan praised me as she held the sweatpants down on the ground. “Okay, now step in. Come on, you can do it!” Blushing from ear to ear over Morgan’s incessant high-pitched encouragement, I did as I was told as Morgan wriggled up the jogging pants until they were square over my butt. I looked behind me, feeling tentatively. The diaper crinkled to my horror. “Morgan, I don’t want to do this!” I whined. “Holly, I’m not going to keep doing this with you,” Morgan tapped her foot impatiently on the carpet. “Did you or did you not tell me last night that you were an adult baby?” “Morgan,” I whined. “I don’t want to do this.” “Did you or did you not, Holly?” I looked down at the floor again. Morgan really had that power over me. “I did.” “Mmhmm,” Morgan agreed. “And if you’re a baby, and I’m your babysitter, is it not my job to make sure you’re taken care of?” “Yes…” “And would Mom and Dad be pleased to know their little baby Holly didn’t do as her babysitter told her?” “You wouldn’t.” “I told you I would,” Morgan reminded her, holding the T-shirt up. “Now arms up, Holly. It’s time to go shopping.” I whimpered as I lifted my arms up, Morgan once again praising me with her loud, high-pitched voice meant to further enforce that I was and would be treated like a two-year-old in every single aspect this weekend. Morgan was already proving she would go farther with this than I myself intended. I was scared as we walked back up the staircase, hand in hand, and went out to the garage to Morgan’s SUV. I opened the passenger door, only to hear a loud “ah ah ah” from my domineering sister. “Only big girls sit up front,” Morgan stated. “Into the back, young lady.” As I got in, Morgan even came around to make sure my seatbelt was buckled properly, before making sure my hands and feet were clear of the door prior to closing it. I squirmed in my seat as Morgan got in the driver’s side door, buckling up and opening the garage door. As she turned the ignition and began backing out, I looked behind me out the rear window towards the road and wherever it would take me this morning, for better or for worse. Chapter 4 I didn’t know where we were going, and I doubted Morgan would tell me. It didn’t matter anyway. Being out in public was being out in public no matter where we were going. I cringed at the thought of anyone hearing my diaper, looking in my direction and suspecting I was wearing something other than proper underwear underneath these jogging pants. I stared out the window as Morgan focused on the road, looking at the outside world, in which every person I looked at seemed to be a threat to my privacy. I wanted to so desperately lunge from the backseat and grab the wheel from her, and force her to take me home, but I had learned my lesson about acting on impulse out of fear. I had to sit here and fear the worst. Looking up at Morgan in the rearview mirror, seemingly undeterred, baffled me. If I was caught, she did realize she’d be with me, right? Not that I could understand my sister before, but I really didn’t understand her now. The passing blur of trees and houses as Morgan crossed town began to feel like a constant and I wondered if I was having a nightmare, or maybe the car had crashed and this was hell; waiting to be taken and embarrassed and having to live with that unsettling feeling for all eternity. “Holly, what’s wrong?” Morgan finally asked, as if she had absolutely no clue how I was feeling or what I was thinking about. “Are you still upset I wouldn’t let you stay home?” “I’m upset you took me anywhere in a diaper!” I cried, pouting and crossing my hands over my chest. “If anyone finds out, I’ll never forgive you!” “I told you, as long as you do as I say, no one’s going to find out,” she reminded me. Her tone was far more pleasant and understanding than it had been when she was getting me ready. “Do you think I’m lying?” “Maybe,” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t have any reason to trust her and she wasn’t giving me one. “How about I put on some music,” she offered, pressing the black dial on the car radio. “Would you like that?” I didn’t respond, and so Morgan chose the most grating auto-tuned white-girl-pretending-to-be-black EDM hip-hop song I’ve ever heard. I made it about fifteen seconds before I put my hands over my ears, shouting “turn it off!” “No way,” Morgan smiled, nodding her head up and down to the beat. “This is a great song!” “No, it’s not!” I cried, throwing my hands against the back of the rear seats. “Turn it off, Morgan! I hate this song!” “It’s almost over,” Morgan’s voice turned back into a scolding one as she eyed me severely from the rearview mirror. “And don’t you dare beat up on my car, missy, or you won’t like what happens.” I didn’t care. I was at Morgan’s whim, wearing a diaper, being taken out in public, and now I had to listen to her shitty music on top of everything else? I wasn’t going to take this. “Turn it off!” I screeched, pulling my knees back and kicking the empty front passenger seat hard. My feet banged against the leather seat, making a banging sound that caused Morgan to slam on the brakes hard. My seatbelt held me back, digging into my chest as I flew forward and flew back towards the sounds of angry horns and curses flung in our direction as she pulled over slowly to the side of the road. As she violently jammed the transmission shift into park, she clutched the headrest of the front passenger seat and spiraled around to face me, eyes wide and blazing with disdain for my actions. I could see she wanted to hurt me, be it physically or emotionally, and I was ready for it. I winced, my body tensing and bracing for my punishment. Morgan pointed a sharp finger at me, shaking and waving it at me, poking me in the chest as she pointed each and every word that spit out of her mouth towards me. “Don’t you ever kick my car again! You are on thin ice this morning, and if you don’t shape up immediately, I will consider our deal broken and everyone will know about little baby Holly! Do you want that?” “But you weren’t…” “Do you want that, Holly?” I cringed. Nobody had scolded me like this in years. I guess I didn’t need to worry about being caught in a diaper. I was already acting like a two-year-old just fine on my own. I found a tiny voice of compliance inside and whispered “no”. “This is your final warning. If you disobey me one more time, it’s over. Do you understand?” “Yes…” I whimpered, ready to cry from how horrible I felt being yelled at. “Yes what?” “Yes…” I repeated, thinking back to Morgan’s words from this morning. “Yes, Miss Morgan.” “I hope so,” Morgan replied, in a voice so eerily familiar that the nostalgia of being scolded by our mother crawled over me. Morgan did not belabor the point, instead putting the car back into gear and merging back into traffic. As I watched her from the rearview mirror, I could hardly imagine that I was really her older sister. I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t act like it. I really was in no position to claim as such. I was sure Morgan felt the same, if she hadn’t before now. After a little while of silence, Morgan turned the radio back on, but instead of staying on the Top 40 station, she moved to the oldies station. “If we put on something you like, will you be good at the salon?” So that’s where we’re going, I thought, never having it occur to me that Morgan would tell me. I nodded from the backseat where Morgan could see me as she turned up the music. I smiled a bit as I heard the synthesized tones as the next song started up. I had a feeling Morgan would too. I smiled a little as she began to sing along, very softly, as Irene Cara’s wonderful voice broke forth: First, when there’s nothing, but a slow glowing dream That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind I smiled, remembering I was the first one who introduced Morgan to this song when I did it for my dance recital when I was eight. I knew the words by heart to this day, and sang along too, a little louder, a little happier: All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride In a world made of steel, made of stone We both began bobbing our heads as the beat kicked in, singing the rest in harmony as Morgan drove to the salon on the other side of town. The feelings of fear and concern seemed to disappear in a flash. All I could think about was having fun with Morgan and singing with her. Maybe I was looking at this the wrong way. Maybe Morgan wasn’t worried because there was no need to be worried… and if only it was that easy. I wish I could have gotten over my fear of being in public like this when Morgan pulled into the strip mall parking lot, but as the 80s pop music and the comfort of going somewhere but not being there disappeared, the fear set in. Morgan unbuckled her seatbelt, coming around to my side and opening the door. “Come on,” she beckoned me, reaching over and unbuckling my seatbelt. “This won’t take that long. I just want to get my nails done.” I’d never been to this place before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Paying for a mani-pedi wasn’t something I was accustomed to, as I could just do it myself as needed for much less, but it seemed Morgan knew the lady at the reception desk as they exchanged pleasantries and hugged, before Morgan was led back into the building. “Go ahead and take a seat,” Morgan called after me. “It won’t be long.” I sighed, sitting down carefully in one of the three empty plastic chairs in the waiting area, careful not to make as many little crinkling sounds as I could manage. The receptionist didn’t seem to care about my careful positioning of myself as I settled in and grabbed a fashion magazine, beginning to flip through it. I laughed a little. Morgan was right, and I would bet money she was going to make me say it when we got out of this place. After a few minutes had passed, the receptionist, who I thought was minding her own business, actually decided to address me. “You know, we’re not that busy today,” she spoke, twirling in a pen in between her fingers. “Did you want something done too?” “Sorry,” I blurted out, before I looked around and realized I already had one. “I forgot my purse.” The receptionist sighed and sat back down as I felt the mesh pockets of my pants and realized I actually wasn’t carrying anything on me. My phone, my wallet, my purse, the contents of my entire social life were all back at the house, and I had the feeling that wasn’t an accident. After fumbling through all the magazines and some of the style books, Morgan finally emerged, showing off her daintily sculpted fingertips, shining a smooth and pretty shade of periwinkle blue. “What do you think?” “Great,” I managed, not one to gush over things like painted fingernails. “Are we going now?” “As soon as I pay, silly,” Morgan smiled, turning to pay her receptionist friend as I stood up, waiting impatiently by the door. The two seemed to begin a new conversation as I tapped my foot impatiently, but impatience was soon overrun by a new sensation as I felt a cramp in my abdomen, my hand instinctively moving to the aching spot and holding it, as a new fear washed over me – one I had not prepared for nor was I in any way able to handle. The receptionist noticed this, looking over Morgan at me. “Hun, are you okay?” “Yeah,” I managed, waving the cramp off. “It’s just my time of the month.” “Gotcha,” she said, looking me up and down, as if she was thinking that explained why I looked so dumpy and seemed so sullen. Actually, that was a good excuse. I decided I’d use that if anyone asked. Morgan was smarter than her though. She knew my period was at least a week away, but she didn’t say anything as we left the salon and got back in the car. “Where to now?” I asked anxiously as the cramp subsided, though I feared for how long it would hold. “A few other places,” Morgan said nonchalantly. “There’s no need to hurry, is there?” She knew, she had to know, but I wasn’t about to let her call my hand. “No,” I lied through my teeth as my eyes sank to my tummy. “No, I just want to get home is all.” “We’ll be home soon enough,” Morgan addressed me with her nice tone, smiling and putting her hand on my knee from the driver’s seat. “You did very well in there. If you keep it up, maybe we’ll get something special for lunch.” I smiled, appreciative that I did good and that things went much smoother than I expected, but I could care about lunch right now. There was a much more pressing matter on my mind, and I wasn’t even sure how or when I could bring it up. Morgan started the car and pulled out, circling the car around the east side of town up to the bank. Every bump and dip shook my stomach, only serving to make me even more worried as the drive once again seemed like it was never going to end. The cramps returned by the time we got to the bank. Once again, Morgan came around to my side after getting out, opening my door and unbuckling me as she took my hand and helped me out of the car. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the salon,” she noticed. “Is something the matter?” I was positive she was teasing me now, but I grimaced, ignoring her with a little “nothing” as we went inside so she could deposit some paychecks. I squirmed a little, trying to find anything to take my mind off the cramps, which had come back with twice the intensity in a place where there was no way I could say anything. Looking around, I spotted a little woven basket filled with lollipops - the safety kind that came on a ring. I spotted a grape one and reached for it, looking at the teller. “Um, is it okay if I take one?” “Sorry,” she said, pulling the basket away from my hand a little. “Those are for the kids.” “Oh,” I sighed as I squirmed a little, hoping my cramps would pass once again and give me time to get home. The unbelievable irony of it all… “Angie,” Morgan addressed the teller. “She’s got low blood sugar. It’s just a sucker. Can’t she have one?” “You should have just said so,” Angie said, pushing the basket back towards me. “Take one. Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” That’s a good one, I thought as I took one of the grape ones with a gracious smile. You have no idea how much I’m hurting right now as it is, lady. “Holly?” Morgan stopped me before I could get the safety pop in my mouth to have something to take my mind off the growing, cramping urges. “What do we say?” “Oh,” I gasped, blushing a little bit as I turned to face the teller. “Um, thank you.” “You’re welcome,” the teller replied, a little surprised as she turned to Morgan, trying to whisper but doing a terrible job of it. “She seems a little off.” “She’s just having a rough day,” Morgan replied as she walked away towards the exit. “See you later.” I stood there, a little bit in shock to see my sister defend me publicly. I couldn’t remember the last time she had done something like that. With the lollipop securely around my ring finger, I watched her walk off with the grape flavor seeping onto my tongue before she turned around and waved to me. “Are you coming, Holly?” I jumped a little, removed from my shock as I chased after Morgan as we left the bank. “What do we say?” Morgan asked as she buckled me into the back seat. “Thank you, Miss Morgan,” I said with a smile. Morgan rewarded me a smile in return as she closed the door, asking I watch my fingers and toes as was becoming the norm as she walked around to the driver’s side. Oh my god, I thought as we pulled out of the bank, looking up at Morgan with awe. I really was worrying over nothing. The last stop was the grocery store, which was fortunately a quick trip to get some things Morgan wanted for snacks and some food for me, because – as she so eloquently put it – she needed to get food I’d be able to eat. So things like spaghetti, oatmeal and applesauce were added to my immediate diet. I hadn’t had any problems until we got back in the car as the cramps came on full force, so bad that I had no choice but to grab my tummy with both hands and wince. It was coming down to the wire. “So,” Morgan announced as she started the car up again. “I was thinking, you’ve been such a good girl everywhere we went this morning, how about we go get some McDonald’s to bring home?” “I can’t eat pizza, but I can eat McDonald’s?” I groaned, as the cramps hit again. “It’s a treat,” Morgan looked at me quizzically. “What’s the matter? Does something hurt?” “It’s nothing,” I squeaked out, knowing damn well that was the last time I was going to be able to say it. I couldn’t even do so convincingly anymore. “Holly, what’s going on,” Morgan curled herself around the front seat towards me. “Are you okay? Does your tummy hurt?” “Morgan,” I begged, near tears. “Don’t make me say it.” Morgan looked at me for a moment, her eyes seemingly searching for the meaning behind my eyes, before widening in surprise with a great big “oh”. “Oh, Holly, no honey, don’t do that,” she begged me, pulling my hands away. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Just let it out.” My eyes nearly bulged out of my skull from the oncoming cramp and the serious amount of shock I had over Morgan’s words. She did not seriously just say that. No, I had to have heard her wrong, way wrong, because my sister did not seriously just insinuate that she… “I’ll change you when we get home,” Morgan responded. “This what you have your diapers for, right?” Oh my god, this was actually happening. I choked on my tongue, struggling to find words that would fit, let alone would make sense. “You… I… no, I… Morgan, are you serious? You can’t be serious. You’d really have me…” Morgan looked at me with a face that let me know she was neither surprised nor horrified by the situation. “What part of “two-year-old in every aspect” wasn’t clear? You’re wearing diapers because you’re two, Holly, so of course I expect you’ll use them.” “But… but this is… this is serious,” I gasped on the final word, the cramps so strong that a little bit fell onto the soft padding beneath my bottom. “Morgan, it’s your funeral if you let me do this.” Morgan audibly laughed at this as she turned back and began to drive off towards the McDonald’s on the other side of the grocery store. “Holly, anything you do won’t even crack my top ten worst changes.’ Perhaps, my sister had lost her mind as much as I had, but it didn’t matter any longer. My mouth parted in a whispered gasp as my bottom expanded and a rush of soft doughy mess caked itself all over the back of my diaper. The sudden release of pressure also set my bladder off, coloring the front of my diaper as equally as the back. I panted as we pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru as we got in line. Morgan looked over at me, putting the car in park for a moment as she leaned back and put her hand on my knee. “Did you make a stinky?” she comforted me as I sat in my well-confined mess. I couldn’t tell if she was actively consoling me or humiliating me, but her words rang of sweet truth. “I bet you feel a lot better, don’t you? Yeah, it’s not good to hold in your tummy when you have to potty.” She turned back around as she pulled the car forward, still going on with her comforting words. “Just sit tight and we’ll get you all cleaned up when we get home, then we’ll have a yummy lunch and then we’ll take a nice nap. Okay, baby girl?” Maybe it was because I was tired, exhausted even, from the effort of holding it in and letting it all out, but the rush of euphoria from the release was undeniable. I looked at Morgan from the back and smiled, sucking on my safety pop. I really was a baby girl. "Okays, Miss Morgan," I babbled, sucking on my lollipop as we waited in line to order. Chapter 5 Whatever the wine-red Highlander in front of us was ordering, it must have been enough to feed a small army. We had been sitting in the drive-thru for nearly fifteen minutes and Morgan, being the stubborn person she was, did not see any reason why she couldn’t park the car and go inside to order, though I was sure she could smell one. It didn’t take long after I had filled my diaper for her car to begin to fill with the earthy stench that could only be a full diaper. In addition to the smell, the mess I was sitting on was already beginning to cool, making me squirm. I began to let out little grumbles and whimpers as I wriggled in my seat. Morgan, trying to be patient, reached back and put her hand on my knee again. “Stay still,” she asked of me in as patient a tone she could manage, knowing I was trying to bear with the wait just as much as her. “It’s just a little while longer.” “But I don’t like it,” I whined, kicking my feet a little, but nowhere near like I did earlier that morning. My feet this time didn’t even make contact with the seat in front of me. “Miss Morgan, I wanna go home.” “We’ll be home before you know it,” she tried to comfort me, though I knew she had as much control over the people in front of us as I did. “Just bear with it. It’s not like this is the first time you messed yourself, right?” My cheeks turned red as I looked down in my lap, trying to avoid Morgan’s eyes on me from the rearview mirror. “It is…” I pouted as I squirmed a little more. “Hey, hey, what did I say?” Morgan grabbed my knee to stop me. “If you squirm and leak on the seats, you’re going to be in trouble, missy. Just sit tight and I’ll change you first thing when we get home, okay?” My only saving grace as the smell of my diaper began to wash over the car’s interior was the knowledge that Morgan probably hated it as much as I did. Mercifully, the Highlander pulled forward and we were able to place our order to the person on the other end. Morgan didn’t even bother to ask me what I want. She already knew what baby Holly would want and wasted no time. “Okay, I’ll have two grilled snack wraps with ranch and a small lemonade, and a happy meal with chicken nuggets, fries, a Sprite, and a girls’ toy. That’ll be it.” “Nuggets!” I clapped from the back in a higher-pitched voice. I must have surprised Morgan as she hunched her shoulders up, stifling a laugh as she pulled forward. “Where did you learn to make your voice sound like that?” she asked, not only surprised, but also seemingly impressed. “I thought you were a real toddler for a moment.” “Practice,” I said, a little embarrassed but a little proud of myself at the same time. I was doing my best not to let the smelly mess beneath me bother me too much, though I couldn’t say I would be able to keep it up much longer. Having never messed myself before, I was unsure how long it would take for diaper rash to set in. When I wet, I would change after fifteen minutes, thirty at most, but a number two felt like it was a whole different ballgame, and every minute I feared I was contributing to what could be a very big problem for the rest of the weekend. We pulled forward behind that damn Highlander again, watching as seven bags made their way into the SUV before they pulled away. Morgan handily paid the cashier and took our drinks and food, doing everything she could to make the process as quick as possible for the other people piling up behind us. Once we had everything, we took off. “What ‘bout barbeque sauce?” I complained. Morgan had to remember we never ate chicken nuggets with barbeque sauce. “Did you get da barbeque sauce?” “We have sauce at home,” Morgan eased my worry. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let a little nugget-eater like you go without it.” I couldn’t remember off the top of my head if we did have any, but knowing my family and how much we loved the stuff, Morgan was probably right. The only disappointment though would be in not getting to dip my nuggets in the little plastic cups McDonald’s gave out and digging for every last drop for my nuggets and fries. Morgan raced us home, driving faster than she had the rest of the morning. She practically jettisoned out of the driver side door as we made it home, parked in the garage and closed the garage door. I followed her with my head as she dashed around the front and opened my door, hurriedly unbuckling me and taking firm hold of my hand as she helped me out, getting me inside in a hurry and taking me downstairs to the basement. “Oh man, Holly, what did you eat last night?” Morgan asked as she went to the basement bathroom and grabbed a spare towel, laying it on the carpet, and then laying my changing mat on the towel. She forewent changing me on the ottoman, not wanting to risk my poo getting on the furniture. “You made a really big stinky, didn’t you?” I sucked on my lollipop, playing coy to the atrocity that I had deposited in the back of my Bambinos as she reached up and grabbed my hand, urging me to lay down with my messy diapered rear firmly on the plastic mat while she went to my bedroom for all the supplies, coming back with powder, oil, and a fresh pack of wipes. “What about the ones upstairs?” I said, noticing she was opening a new pack. “You have plenty,” she remarked, kneeling down in front of me, reaching out and taking hold of the legs of my pants, wriggling them off of me as the smell of my diaper became even stronger. “And you bought the cheap ones, so I know I’m going to need a lot.” I blushed as I sucked on my lollipop as Morgan examined the damage, looking unsure where to start. I knew she had gotten in over her head when she told me to mess myself and know she knew too. Morgan, though, wasn’t about to swallow her pride. With her freshly painted periwinkle fingernails, she picked at the tabs of my diaper, peeling each tape off with a loud resounding ripping sound. I nursed on the paper ring itself around my finger, glistening with grape lollipop residue as she pulled off the last tape. Carefully, she pulled back the front, just enough that she could see the full extent of what I had done before closing the front back over me. “Oh, Holly!” she exclaimed loudly. “What a messy baby you are!” My heart twinged a little bit as she pulled it back again carefully, the shock of my mess beginning to slowly subside as the soaked front landing on the changing mat with a dull plop. Morgan looked at my exposed self, tilting her head as if wondering where she should begin. I felt so vulnerable in front of Morgan, but I was surprised that my heart was racing not in fear, but anticipation. For all intents and purposes, I was about to have my diaper changed for the first time in twenty years, and it was going to be a doozy. “Baby Holly made a big messy,” she commented as she began to withdraw wipe after wipe and place them in a little pile on her knee for easy use. She had withdrawn at least twenty wipes before she was ready to tackle the mess, using two at a time to make sure to keep her own hands free of poo. I squeaked a little bit as she grabbed my legs from their spread position and clasped them together, using her forearm to shove them into an upright position. “Holly, will you be a good girl and help Miss Morgan by holding your legs for me?” The lollipop was all gone now so I felt no remorse in pulling my hand away from my mouth, reaching at my ankles and holding them as tightly as I could. Morgan kept her forearm anchored against the back of them just in case I let go, but me holding them took some extra weight off of her, which I was sure she appreciated. “Whew! Such a big stinky!” she made a big commotion as I felt the first wave of wipes run down my bottom, picking up big swathes of muddy mess and dishing them into the diaper, often disposing of the wipes she used immediately and going back for fresh ones. I could only imagine what my diaper looked like, and I would be lying if I didn’t have a screwed-up curiosity to see my first fully used diaper as an adult baby, especially if the clean-up was really that bad. Of course, I had no intention of making things any harder for Morgan, who seemed to be running through the baby wipes quite readily, having almost emptied the pack by the time it felt my bottom felt fresh and squeaky clean. Finally, Morgan pulled the diaper and the veritable mountain of mess and used wipes atop it away from my bottom as I felt the cool slick sensation of the changing mat. Morgan rolled up the diaper and placed it at the corner of the towel while she laid me back down and spread my legs, rubbing my privates with more baby wipes to clean up the pee mess. “This would go a lot smoother if you had bought the Huggies kind,” she commented. “They’re thicker and they smell better, like cucumber.” I hated the Huggies wipes exactly for that last reason. If they made thicker wipes that smelled as great as these ones, of course we wouldn’t be having this problem. “These ones smell the best,” I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest and looking away. Morgan stopped rubbing, smiling as she dropped the wipe on the mat between my legs and kneeled up over me with a knowing smile. “Oh, I get it now,” she smiled deviously, going back to the pack of wipes and pulling out a few more, wiping beyond my vagina and up under my potbelly and on it. “Holly likes to smell like a baby.” Though her words left me speechless, the burning sensation in my cheeks as they turned bright red let her know she had hit the mark. I whimpered a little bit as she ran the wipes up and down my belly and sides and legs and feet. I was getting turned on, but not in a sexual way. Morgan was triggering a regression in me, spoiling me and giving me my most infantile of desires. Eventually, my whimpering became a loud, childish “Agu!” as my thumb found my mouth and I squirmed on the changing mat, feeling warmth and comfort radiating and insulating me from every direction. Morgan’s pampering stopped as I looked up at her, her face of surprise bringing my adult self back. I blushed deeply with embarrassment, squeezing my eyes and trying to get up. Morgan was faster than me though, gently grabbing my ankle and urging me to lie back down. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” I told her. “It’s… when I really feel like a baby down to the very core, my voice kind of… gets babyish.” “I’ll say,” Morgan said, using the rest of the wipes to do a quick last clean-down before getting a new diaper. “You really sounded like a baby.” “You don’t think it’s weird?” I asked shyly. Morgan was defying all my expectations of this weekend, but I couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t think this was weird, but Morgan smiled, tapping my nose with her finger. “I think it’s the perfect voice for the baby you,” she answered sweetly. “You sounded adorable.” “You’re not just teasing me?” I asked, remembering this was Morgan I was talking to. Could I really trust her as much as my heart wanted to? She had been such a good caretaker all morning to me and I wanted to believe this wasn’t just an act, but twenty years of sisterhood is something incredibly hard to ignore, even if the little side of me was ready to follow her around the rest of the weekend like a little duckling. “You really think it’s cute?” “I really think it’s cute,” she said again, as she lifted my legs and put a clean diaper underneath me. Again, she powdered me liberally, front and back and on the sides until every part of skin that would touch the diaper was freshly powdered. She taped the diaper up snugly, reaching up past the diaper when she was done and tickling my sides a little. “Really really really!” “Agu!” I let it out again as I looked at Morgan smile at me. “Thank you, Miss Morgan!” “You’re so very welcome, baby girl,” Morgan said, helping me to my feet as she gathered the old diaper and wipes into an empty plastic grocery bag. “Now let’s go upstairs and have our yummy lunch, doesn’t that sound good?” “Mmhmm! Ummy-nummy!” I giggled as I held her hand going up the stairs. Morgan did not take any chances this time once we got to the kitchen, sitting me in tight and putting the bib around my neck. The cloth placemat in front of me was replaced with a plastic one that Morgan must have dug up from the bottom of the placemat drawer because I hadn’t seen the alphabet placemat since we lived in Minnesota. I sat still for Morgan as she went out to the car to get the groceries left in the car in the urgency of my diaper change, getting rid of the old diaper at the same time and coming back with the McDonald’s and the groceries. I looked impatiently at the food as Morgan went to go wash her hands, bouncing up and down a little when Morgan finally came back and put the chicken nuggets and fries on a small plate. “Oh, look what I found,” Morgan said with a singsong voice, reaching into the bag slowly and pulling out a small plastic package excitedly. “Barbeque sauce!” Yay! They didn’t forget it! I clapped my hands as Morgan peeled off the wrapper and put the sauce on the plate, putting the straw in my little soda cup and placing my meal out in front of me. Tucked tightly into the table with the plastic placemat, Morgan did not hesitate to let me go at the finger foods myself this time. Fingers wriggling with anticipation, I dug in, intentionally being sloppy about the food and not afraid to stick my fingers in the sauce or get bits of food all over my face. Morgan laughed at me a little and I smiled back. The idea of me being twenty-three was so far beyond me as I sat there in my soft fluffy diaper, eating a happy meal with a big around my neck that I undoubtedly needed. “You really are the messy eater,” Morgan commented, wiping my face clean when she was done. I didn’t even squirm that much this time, as she took my bib off and helped me up. “Okay, Holly, ready for your nap?” “What about my toy?” I pouted a little, putting my finger back in the sauce and in my mouth, forcing Morgan to wipe my hand again. “You can have it when you wake up,” she told me, pulling my chair out. “Right now, it’s naptime.” If I was really two, I might have thrown a fit, but I treasured the idea of having a mandatory nap now that I knew how good they could be. I feigned a yawn as I nodded sleepily and took Morgan’s hand as she led me back downstairs. I didn’t have to worry about cleaning up the changing mat or the happy meal. Morgan would take care of everything. All I had to do was be a good girl for her. I couldn’t have been happier or more at peace. Her finding out about my ABDL tendencies may arguably be one of the best things that had ever happened to me. “Okay, kiddo,” she said, helping me into my bed, pulling my princess sheets and baby blanket over me. “All ready for sweet dreams?” “Uh-huh,” I yawned, for real this time. “Thank you, Miss Morgan. You’re the bestest babysitter I ever had.” “Silly girl,” she said, stroking my hair. “I’m the first babysitter you’ve ever had in at least a decade.” “But you’re still the bestest,” I stuck my tongue out, defiant yet playful. “Coming from you, Holly, that’s the nicest compliment I could ask for,” Morgan said, turning down the blinds in my room and closing the door. I turned on my side, closing my eyes. I thought sleep would come naturally to a baby girl like me, but I was wrong. I tossed and turned against the grey muted light coming in from the room. I wasn’t sleepy. I really was about to act like a two-year-old. Opening the door, I peeked out of the room, knowing I was supposed to be napping, but I couldn’t help it. Morgan was on the couch watching one of the Real Housewives shows when she heard the door next to her. Her head turned instinctively and her body rose upright just as quickly as it approached me. “Holly, what’s the matter? Are you not tired?” “Can’t sleep,” I muttered. “Do you have something that helps you sleep?” she asked sincerely. I thought about this and then thought of the cardboard box where I had hid the bed sheets and the baby blanket. I had forgotten all about Abba, my stuffed gray bunny with a black bowtie and a big fluffy white cottontail. “Abba! Remember my Abba? He’s in one of my boxes. He’ll help me.” “Okay,” Morgan said, ushering me back into my room and back into bed as she dug through the cardboard boxes of my baby things, producing Abba as if by magic. “Here he is!” “Abba!” I cried out with excited giggles and grabby hands. Morgan placed him carefully in my hands as I cuddled him close to me as Morgan tucked me back in. “Thank you, Miss Morgan!” “You’re welcome, baby girl,” she told me, stroking my hair softly. “Now let’s try to sleep. Miss Morgan will come wake you up in a few hours.” “Pwomise?” I said, sticking my pinky out of the covers towards Morgan. “Pinky promise,” Morgan indulged me, crossing her pinky with mine. I smiled as she got up and closed the door. I had no trouble falling to sleep as the lazy Saturday afternoon passed with me all snug in my bed, cuddling my Abba with my thumb in my mouth. I guess dreams really do come true. Chapter 6 There was a heaviness and warmth in the air. The light had dimmed considerably as I squirmed underneath my blanket. I turned my head over to find Abba had fallen off the bed sometime during my nap. My diaper crinkled as I moved and tried to turn over on my side. I felt so heavy, like I could sleep more, but I fought the urge. Fear was sinking in that I had already slept longer than I was supposed to. As I sat up, I felt a twinge in my bladder. The soda from earlier was ready to come out the other end. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at my diaper as I put my hand on it and relaxed. It wasn’t easy to overcome the mental block of potty training, not that it ever was, but the thought of getting my diaper changed again gave me the release as I felt the plastic backing of the diaper get warmer to the touch on my palm. I sat there for a moment, taking in the late afternoon atmosphere as I patted the front of my diaper playfully, noticing how much heavier it felt. The weight made me feel impish as I climbed down out of my bed and toddled over to my bedroom door to open it. Peeking out, I could see Morgan wasn’t there anymore. I walked out, wondering if she was upstairs, before my eyes were drawn to the pale orange light shining through the high-seated windows to my left. I could already see the sun making its descent. I had slept late. Fearful that I would miss anymore of my special time with Morgan, I hurried to the staircase, walking before realizing it would be more appropriate to crawl. I smiled, getting on my hands and knees as I banged noisily as I slammed against the staircase with, clattering up the staircase, when I got to the top. I was ready to get back on my feet to open it when it opened for me. “There you are,” Morgan said with a kind, sweet voice, kneeling down and helping me to my feet at the top by my armpits. “Little Miss Sleepyhead finally woke up!” I wanted to be a good girl, but I remembered at the sight of Morgan and the clock past her reading 4:36 helped me remember the promise she made to me before I took my nap and pouted instead. “You pwomised you’d wake me up!” I whined, petulantly stamping my foot. “I know, sweetie,” Morgan said, smoothing my hair out from being all over the place from tossing and turning in bed, not at all upset with me for my attitude. “I did try, but you wouldn’t budge. You were just too sleepy.” I wanted to act like a real toddler and stay mad, but it was hard. Morgan’s soft voice and comforting touch made it so hard to stay mad at her. I pouted a little bit, though I probably wasn’t very convincing. “Can I have my happy meal toy now, pwease?” “Of course, honey,” Morgan cooed as she walked over to the counter and held out an object wrapped in thin plastic. “Here you go.” Eagerly, I ripped at the plastic and threw it on the ground holding my prize in front of me; an adorable little stuffed elephant – hot pink with purple fuzzy fair on its head and for a tail. “Yay!” I giggled as I ran around the living room with my new friend. “I’m gonna name you Twinkle!” I exclaimed proudly. Morgan picked up my trash and looked at the plastic package intently. “Holly, it says here his name is Peanut.” “No!” I announced loudly. “Her name is Twinkle!” Morgan sighed, letting me do as I pleased as she threw away the plastic packing in the trash can before she headed over to me. “What’s this I see?” she said, catching me while I was running in a circle, patting the back of my diaper in her arms. “Did someone do a little something in her diaper during her nap?” “Nooooo,” I squirmed in Morgan’s hold. I wasn’t really lying, because I didn’t do it during my nap. “I think someone did do something,” Morgan said, turning me around to face her as she pulled back the front of my diaper, releasing the waistband with a snap. “Yup yup, I was right. Baby Holly sprung a leak. Did she do anything else?” The back of my diaper was pulled back and Morgan sighed with relief to see there was nothing there other than a little more pee. “Just a sprinkle,” she confirmed, patting my bottom. “What do you say we get you a new diaper, hmm? Would you like that?” I giggled and nodded as Morgan told me to stay exactly where I was as she went downstairs to get my changing pad, powder, and a fresh diaper. She didn’t bother getting the wipes, as there were still the ones from up here. Spreading out the changing pad in the wide-open living room, I took her hand as she laid me down. Surrounded by so many rising windows and in full view of the front door, I felt more self-conscious than my first diaper change. I squirmed a little, anxious but afraid of all the windows and doors in full view, even though I knew it would be a one in a million chance that anyone would walk by or be able to see me inside. “Holly, be a good girl,” Morgan cautioned me, as she rolled me over into position more than once due to my squirming. “You’re not going to give me a hard time, are you?” I looked aside, whimpering, still squirming. “Okay, fussy baby,” Morgan stated as she reached into her pocket and pulled out my butterfly pacifier. “Will this make you feel better?” I looked at my pacifier longingly as Morgan moved it closer and pressed it into my mouth. Instinctively, I began to suck and nurse on the rubber soother as I became a little more complacent. “Good girl,” Morgan praised me as I nursed as she untaped my diaper and pulled it down flush on the changing pad. “Upsy-daisy,” she told me as she clasped my ankles and pushed my legs up wide. Remembering my last change, I reached up to be a good girl and hold my legs back. This was not lost on Morgan. “Good girl!” she cooed loudly, tapping me on my nose before she opened the pack of baby wipes. “You’re making this so easy for Miss Morgan.” I closed my eyes, listening to Morgan’s sweet words and the loving, babyish sensations – all the smells, all the sounds, and all the feels – of having my diaper changed. Though I had changed my diaper countless times, between this time and the last time Morgan had changed me, I knew for positive that there was something so much more comforting, secure, and kind about being changed by another person. Morgan smiled as she ran the baby wipes in between my legs and down my bottom. “Good girl holding still,” she told me as she cleaned me up and made me smell so very good. “Yeah, we’re almost done. Pee pee diapers are so much easier to clean up than poopy ones.” “Mith Mogan,” I babbled through my paci. “Wath ma oopy diaph one uf yaw top ten?” “Top 20, maybe,” Morgan replied, pulling out the old diaper and putting a fresh one underneath my clean bottom. “What do I gotta do to make a Top 10?” I asked, spitting my paci out on my chest, curious as to what my sister would consider a complete disaster of a diaper change if a 23-year-old’s bottom caked in her mess wasn’t the worst she has seen. Morgan laughed, rolling her eyes, likely in remembrance of some of the truly terrifying changes she’d had to perform. She spread my legs and shaking the bottle of baby powder over my pink parts as she answered. “You don’t want to know, kiddo. Trust me, you really don’t.” I put my pacifier back in my mouth, smiling up at Morgan, who smiled back at me as she taped my new diaper up, rolling me over off the changing mat, patting me on the bottom to let me know she was done. “There you go, all nice and clean,” Morgan said as she cleaned her hands off with a baby wipe before taking my wet Bambino outside to the garbage can. I lay on my side on the white carpet as I looked at all my changing supplies. Reaching over, I got a mischievous idea and grabbed at the baby wipes, pulling them out one by one around me. I didn’t get very far when Morgan caught me and hurried over to take them away from me. “What are you doing, Holly?” she scolded me, picking up the discarded wipes and the remainder of the package, along with the rest of my diapering supplies. I giggled, not sure what to say and tried to let childish innocence be the answer. Morgan gave me a knowing eye as she got all my things together. “Silly girl,” Morgan chided me as she took everything downstairs, coming back up and heading straight for the laundry room. “Let’s see if we have something you can play with that won’t make a big mess for Miss Morgan to clean up.” I laid down on the carpet in Morgan’s absence, picking at the fuzzy carpeting, pinching at it and picking it up off the ground and letting it go, doing it over and over while I heard rustling sounds coming from the laundry room on the other side of the house. Hearing the closing of cabinet doors, I looked up to see Morgan coming back to the living room with a familiar looking plastic bin with a dingy white lid. “Look what I found!” Morgan announced happily, shaking the box. The sound of rolling and rattling objects intrigued me as she put it on the floor and peeled off the lid with a snapping sound. I peered in, my eyes lighting up at the assortment of loose washable markers and crayons of all different colors and wear. Scattered beneath the coloring items was a variety of different coloring books featuring Barbie, Minnie Mouse, The Little Mermaid, and Hello Kitty! “The art box!” I squealed, reaching in and grabbing handfuls of markers and crayons. “Mom and Dad kept it?” “It seems they’ve kept a lot of things,” Morgan told me as she picked up what I was spilling, amidst my choosing of which markers and crayons I would use. “Maybe they’re saving it for when they have grandkids.” “Maybe,” I said in a small, uninterested voice, far more concerned with finding the right page in the Little Mermaid book, settling on a picture of Ariel showing Flounder her treasures. I took a jungle green crayon and began to color in some of the rust and water-damaged human objects in Ariel’s grotto. I knew it was more appropriate to color outside the lines, but I wanted to make the picture look as pretty as possible. Now that I was distracted by the coloring book, Morgan stood up from hovering over me and took a seat on the couch. She turned on the TV to some movie on cable, using it as background noise for us while she indulged in a book of her own. I chose my colors carefully, mostly sticking to crayons as they had varying shades that would match the dark shadowy nature of the grotto far better than bright greens and blues that the markers came in. Morgan would look down on me every once in a while to see I was doing okay and not drawing on the carpet. Even if I was in the position of a two-year-old, I wasn’t stupid enough to cause damage that would have to be explained when Mom and Dad got back tomorrow. As the sun set lower in the sky and the movie on TV ended, Morgan closed her book, standing up and kneeling down over me. “Wow!” Morgan exclaimed. I jumped a little, not noticing her next to me as I was putting the finishing touches on the page I was drawing, the third one I had made it through of the book. “Holly, that’s such a pretty picture! You’re so talented!” My hand stopped as the crayon trembled in my hand and my heart sank as I looked down at my work from the afternoon. How long had it been since I had drawn just for the sake of drawing? I stared down at my colored pages with a sense of longing and melancholy. “I guess…” I managed to say, crying out passively to Morgan in light of her praise. Morgan crouched down next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder comfortingly as I lay there on my belly. I turned my head to face Morgan, my lips trembling as I remembered things I had promised myself I wouldn’t remember. In all the excitement of remembering what it was to lay down in the living room and color the afternoon away, to do it because it made me happy and for no other reason. “What’s the matter?” Morgan asked me, and for everything she had done for me today, I didn’t feel afraid to tell her truthfully. I put the crayon down, pushing myself up and sitting on the floor against the coffee table. I pursed my lips, feeling the pressure in my eyes as I thought back to my late days in college. “I just… I forgot how much fun drawing was.” “What do you mean?” Morgan asked, sitting down Indian-style across from me. “I just…” I took a deep breath before I continued. “I don’t…” “Was there a reason you stopped drawing?” Morgan asked, looking at me seriously. It wasn’t a big surprise to her or anyone in my family that I stopped drawing halfway through college. It was part of why I ended up with a liberal arts degree when I had been so focused on my artwork up until then, but my second semester hurt me in a way I wasn’t able to get over. “Someone saw my work and suggested I start putting it online,” I explained after a moment’s hesitation. “I wasn’t expecting a lot of praise, but some of the things people told me… it was like they took joy in insulting my work. I didn’t want to keep drawing. I didn’t think I’d ever be good enough. There were so many people better than me and I didn’t think I’d ever be good enough to match up to them.” “Oh, Holly,” Morgan sighed softly, putting her hand gently on my cheek. “You can’t listen to people like that. You have to believe in yourself. “You say that like it’s so easy,” I whimpered, feeling the tears coming on. “ You don’t think I tried that? You don’t think I tried to ignore them? I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.” “Holly,” Morgan cooed my name as she crawled over to me and pulled me against her in a tight hug. “Holly, it’s okay. You really do have a lot of talent and if those idiots online can’t see that, that’s their problem. You should draw again, if only for yourself and the way it makes you feel.” I was bawling against her shoulder now, clutching tightly to her blouse as I drenched it with my tears. “It’s been so long, Morgan… since I drew, since anyone told me I was any good at anything. Thank you.” “Shhhh,” she hushed me, stroking my hair softly as she held me and let me cry on her. “You should never be bullied into giving up something that makes you happy, be that your drawing or your diapers. If it makes you happy, that’s all that matters.” I held onto my sister for a number of minutes before my sobs dissipated into soft sniffles. When I felt strong enough that I could let go, I slowly backed away from my sister’s embrace. She opened her arms just as slowly as I looked at her, my eyes raw and puffy once again as she wiped residue of my tears from the corners of my eyes with the back of her finger. “It’s okay, Holly,” she told me again with a comforting smile. “Everything will be okay.” I wanted to believe her, but more than my desire to be comforted by Morgan was my even stronger confusion why she was acting like this. This went beyond her whole “Miss Morgan” persona. This felt like she was trying to connect to me, sister to sister, someone who had never shown any interest or desire to do it up until today. “Holly?” Morgan interrupted my thoughts, looking at me with the same dire gaze I was giving her, but before I could open my mouth, Morgan laughed, raising her hand and waving off the interjection. “Never mind, it’s nothing.” No, something was most definitely going on with Morgan. Maybe she felt now that I was opening up to her that she could open up to me about something, but what, I could not possibly know. Was it possible that my sister, who rubbed her perfection and superiority in my face for nearly a decade, was not as perfect as I thought she was? Before I could ask her what was troubling her, she got to her feet, looking towards the kitchen and letting out a fake gasp to offset the mood we had established. “Oh, look at the time, I need to make dinner. We can’t have your tummy rumbling, can we?” I looked up at the clock to see it was a little after 6:30. I got to my own feet, following after her but she shooed me back to the living room. “Why don’t you stay in the other room and watch some TV?” she recommended. “Miss Morgan needs to cook dinner and she can’t have you around the stove.” Feeling bad that Morgan didn’t want to talk to me any longer, I hurried back to the living room. Before she could say anything, I presented her with the three pages of the coloring book I had illustrated from top to bottom with my name scrawled out in big black letters at the bottom, crude and aimless, like the two-year-old I was to Morgan. I looked at her silently, letting my eyes plead for me for her to know they were for her. “Oh, sweetie,” Morgan said, taking the pictures from me and hugging me. “Thank you. I love them.” Morgan let me go to walk over to the refrigerator where she took some spare real estate magnets and used them to hang the pictures proudly. I beamed my approval and hugged Morgan back before heading back to the family room. While Morgan was cooking a spaghetti dinner, I would often find myself ignoring the cartoons on the television and looked over at Morgan. She seemed to be lost in a deep, sad thought. I wanted to say something, to reach out to her, but I doubt it was something she could talk about with a two-year-old. Maybe when I grew up, she would tell me. Maybe… Chapter 7 The spaghetti didn’t take long to make. Morgan just boiled the noodles and heated a jar of Prego. When it was ready, she dished out a healthy serving into a blue plastic bowl and doused it with a generous serving of sauce. “Is dinner ready?” I called from the living room, not bothering to move. “Just about,” she said as I heard the sounds of the bowl tipping around on the counter and what sounded like a knife cutting along the inside of the bowl, over and over again. Morgan filled my sippy cup up with milk again and brought my meal to the table, pulling out my chair. “And ready. Holly, would you like to come to the table?” I pretended to have some difficulty getting up off the couch, purposefully refusing to shift my center of gravity as I strained to get to my feet. “Miss Morgan,” I whined loudly. “I’m stuck!” “Alright, alright,” Morgan hushed me as she walked over to the living room, taking both my hands with a gentle smile. Her eyes showed no sense of any hidden anxiety. I smiled just as much, hiding my own concern for Morgan. I wanted to say something and dinner seemed like the right time, where I’d have Morgan’s undivided attention. Taking Morgan’s hand, I followed her to the kitchen where she helped me into my seat, pushing my chair in and tying my bib back around my neck. I could smell the spaghetti sauce from the kitchen, but watching the steam rise out of my bowl, I took a large whiff with a big grin. Morgan sat down to my right with her meal, the same as mine but hers was on a ceramic plate with adult silverware and an actual glass full of milk. “It smells good, doesn’t it?” “Mmhmm,” I sighed in agreement as I picked up my airplane spoon and dug into my bowl, using the spoon more like a shovel. To say Morgan had cut the spaghetti was an understatement. She had practically diced it with pieces small enough they could all fit on the tiny spoon. “Um, Morgan,” I asked as I readied to take my first bite. “I wanted to ask, is something…” “Oh, Holly, no,” Morgan interrupted me, prying the spoon away from me. “No, honey, it’s far too messy to do it yourself. You’ll get it all over.” What in the world? I thought as I held tight to the spoon as little bits of noodles and sauce dribbled off the utensil onto the plastic placemat. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to keep me from talking or if she genuinely didn’t want me to feed myself, but I knew I did not want her jamming that spoon down my throat a second time and I held tight to that little spoon, my pleasant demeanor becoming grumpy again. “Holly,” Morgan tried to reason with me. “You’re been a good girl all afternoon. You don’t want to be a bad girl again, do you? Bad girls get punished. You don’t want to be punished, do you?” I hesitated, but held tight to the spoon all the same. “I wanna do it!” I argued, pulling back. It wasn’t unreasonable for a two-year-old to want to feed herself. Morgan had to have known this from her job at the daycare. “I can do it!” I could see the look in Morgan’s eyes getting far more stern and cold. She wasn’t going to give me an inch with this. “Holly, I’m going to give you to the count of three,” she warned me, my fingers not budging even a little from the spoon. “One, two…” I let go, but we both miscalculated how tightly the two of us had been pulling at the spoon. When I let go, Morgan fell back a little, as her face was splattered with little drops of spaghetti sauce and noodles. She was stunned, unsure what had happened as she reached a hand to her face to confirm what had just happened. The look on her face of complete disbelief that the sister she had told was to be treated like a toddler had acted like a toddler; I couldn’t help myself and started giggling mercilessly at Morgan. My cheeks were burning red. I couldn’t stop the laughter, even though I was terrified she wouldn’t find it very funny. Eventually, Morgan winced, squeezing her eyes shut as her awestruck lips curled up into a smile that shook with the suppression of her own laughter. “You little devil!” she laughed as she wiped her face off with her napkin. “See? This is why I have to feed you. Now hold still.” I didn’t want to be fed, but at the same time, I didn’t want to push my luck any farther. I tried to remember the rhythm as Morgan fed me spoonful after spoonful of my dinner, all the while chiding me for my actions, and all the while silencing any defense I had with another flyby of the airplane into the hanger of my mouth. “Bad baby,” she gently scolded me, amused more than upset. “You got Miss Morgan all dirty. You think it’s so funny, don’t you? Well, you’re not one to talk, Miss Messy Face. Look at all that spaghetti you’re getting all over your face and your bib. I don’t know how you could get any messier. I had a few ideas, but right now I was plenty content in tilting my head in just such a way that my food got on my cheeks, my nose, my chin, and all over my bib with even some on my clothes. Morgan remained patient with me as I would be a good girl every now and then and eat, but when she missed, I would always smile and giggle in such a way that I knew she couldn’t get mad at someone who was just acting her supposed age. Morgan’s dinner had got cold long ago and would need heating up, but I was going to make sure it waited. Once I could hear the spoon scraping against the bowl as Morgan scooped out another bite for me, I made my move. As Morgan moved the spoon towards my mouth, I smiled a big mischievous grin and reached at my bowl. With the spoon precariously placed in Morgan’s hand, she didn’t have time to pull it away before I dumped it on my head. Morgan looked at me aghast as the sauce ran down my forehead over the bridge of my nose. “All done,” I announced proudly as the lukewarm sauce seeped into my hair. “I can go pway now?” Morgan looked like she was about ready to cry as she put a hand over her mouth and then over her forehead, looking at me as if I was criminally insane. “Play?” she repeated in disbelief. “Oh, you can go play.” I got up when Morgan grabbed my hand holding me back. “You can play in the bathtub while I wash all that food out of your hair.” “No!” I stomped, noodle bits falling out of the bowl and onto my face and the floor to Morgan’s dismay. “Go play in the living room!” Morgan had to have known I was joking as I stood there, waiting to see how she would react. Oh, how good it felt to give her exactly what she wanted out of today on my terms. Sighing in defeat, she got up and undid my bib, placing it clean side down on the table as she walked away from her own meal, which would surely have to wait now. “Come on, Little Miss Messy, it’s bath time and you know it.” Before we even dared to walk across the carpet, Morgan took me over to the sink, pushing my head down and removing the bowl. Turning on the faucet, she washed as much of the damage out of my hair as I squirmed and moaned about letting me go, even though I knew there was no going anywhere after what I had done. Once Morgan felt I was suitable to walk across the carpet, she rubbed my hair with an old dishtowel and wrapped it around my neck to keep any stray bits of food from falling on the carpet. Carefully, she walked me not downstairs, but across the living room and up the stairs to our parents’ bedroom. “Why are we going in here?” I asked, knowing there was a perfectly fine shower downstairs. “You really need to ask?” Morgan asked. “Mom and Dad have the really big whirlpool tub. It’s the only one in the house that will fit a baby as big as you.” I blushed as Morgan led me across the master bedroom to the bathroom on the side. The first thing I could see on the left was the enormous whirlpool tub. I looked at it excitedly. “I’m gonna get to take a real bath in there? Do I get bubbles?” “Of course,” Morgan said, positioning me on the mint green bathmat. “Now I want you to stay right here and not move a muscle. I’ll get your things and we can get you undressed.” “Um, Morgan,” I interjected. “I’m okay bathing myself.” Of course I should have realized how Morgan would have responded, but I just didn’t feel comfortable about being bathed. I mean, a diaper change was one thing, but I didn’t want to have someone else’s hands all over me from head to toe, laying there under the bubbles in nothing but my bare skin. I didn’t care if it was just my sister. I didn’t want to be bathed. “Is that so?” Morgan said, looking me up and down. “And what would make you think I would trust a diaper-messing, thumb-sucking, spaghetti-splattered toddler to properly bathe herself? I can’t trust you one bit, baby girl. Don’t worry, that’s what Miss Morgan is here for. All you’re going to have to do is relax.” Relaxing was not something I was capable of as Morgan walked to the door as I reached out towards her, calling her name with panic in my voice. “Morgan, I don’t want to do this. Please just let me do this part on my own.” “Holly, it’s just me,” Morgan tried to comfort me to no avail, even teasing me for being as nervous about something as basic as a bath. “What, are you afraid you’ll like it.” “No!” I huffed angrily, stomping my foot down so hard it shook the toothbrushes in their holders and the various medicines and makeups on the counter. Morgan looked at me with a cold glare that reflected she was not going to put up with my attitude any longer. I backed away a bit, my lower lip trembling in a whimper. “I just… I don’t like being touched by other people.” “You didn’t seem to mind when I changed your diaper,” Morgan commented. “What’s so different about that?” And I really had no good answer. A feeble “because” dribbled out of the corner of my mouth, but Morgan was smiling, knowing I knew she was right, but I wasn’t fully naked during my change. Just the thought of being naked in the tub, vulnerable as I could possibly be, made me feel a little nervous. I stood there like a good girl, knowing I had pushed Morgan’s buttons as far as they would go for the time being as she gathered a fresh snow-white towel, a matching washcloth, my baby bath and baby shampoo, and supplies to diaper me once I was clean. “Okay,” she said, placing all the items on the toilet seat. “Now I’m going to ask you once, and I want the truth because once that tub is full it stays full – do you have to go potty?” “No,” I mumbled, holding my arms across my chest. “Holly,” Morgan asked me again. “Do you have to go potty?” “I don’t have to potty,” I affirmed to Morgan’s satisfaction. Pleased with my response, she turned the tub water on, checking the temperature then waving me over to check it to make sure it was okay. “A little hotter,” I asked until it felt just right. I pulled my hand away as Morgan began to undress me from head to toe. As I stood in the bathtub, watching the water fill up and Morgan add a generous dose of baby bath to the water to make it bubble up, I held myself, feeling so cold and exposed. “Just a little longer,” Morgan said, as ‘a little longer’ began to feel like an eternity. I danced on my tiptoes, wanting so badly to immerse myself through the fragrant bubbly surface on top into the steamy warm water, wanting to feel it in every inch of my skin. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, Morgan turned the water off and took my hand, holding it tight as I navigated myself into the tub. The water was just the way I liked it, so warm that if it were any hotter it would burn my skin. I let the heat pierce my skin and warm me to the bone, slowly, easily with Morgan holding my hand all the way, lowering myself into the tub and letting my whole body become engulfed in the wonderfully intense heat of the bath. I let out a sigh of bliss as I sank deeper into the tub, so deep my chin touched the surface of the water. I closed my eyes for a moment to take in the sensation before I felt a presence enter the water other than my own. I opened my eyes to see Morgan, dousing the washcloth into the water and gathering bubbles, taking my arm and running the cloth up and down it, even getting in between my fingers. I flinched for a moment before Morgan looked at me cautiously. “Holly, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” she coaxed as she did the same to my other arm. “Remember when I changed your diaper how much you liked that? It’s just like that now, just a bathtub instead of a tub of wipes.” I hesitated to make the comparison, but I tried to relax. I knew Morgan would punish me if I was any more difficult, so I closed my eyes, letting Morgan run the washcloth over me from head to toe, making sure I was squeaky clean in every nook and cranny. As the washcloth moved up and down my skin, I began to giggle from how much it tickled, and Morgan only encouraged this with her words. “Yeah, the messy baby’s getting all nice and clean, isn’t she?” she cooed. “Baby Holly loves getting clean and smelling good. Yes, she does. Miss Morgan’s gonna make sure even inch of your skin shines – your cute little toes, your pretty legs, you pudgy little baby belly, every single last spot.” Just like before, I lost myself in the sensation of being bathed like a baby and Morgan’s sweet words, returning to my high-pitched babbling state as I kicked and splashed a little, my body giving way to every little reflex as my body twitched and shivered, making little splashes on the surface of the water, lapping up against the sides of the tub and getting Morgan’s blouse a little damp. “Now now, who’s a good baby?” Morgan soothed me as she finished washing me down. “Let’s not make a mess. You’re doing so well. Miss Morgan is so proud of you.” I beamed over such small and infantile praise as if I had won a major award, while Morgan held my head back under the water until it came up around my ears, running her hands through my brunette hair, she made sure to get it nice and wet before opening the baby shampoo and lathering a large dollop through my dark locks. I cooed softly, something I would often suppress when getting my hair washed at a salon, but here in Morgan’s care, I let my childish glee for being taken care of show. “Yeah, someone’s not fussy anymore, no no no,” Morgan talked to me like I was the toddler I truly felt I was. “Okie dokie, let’s get you under the faucet,” she helped motion me around towards the large faucet on the other end as she turned it on, making sure it was a little cooler than I liked so it didn’t burn my scalp, but not cold enough that I would thrash. Gently, she scrubbed my hair clean before turning the faucet off. “Ready to get out?” she asked, holding up a big fluffy towel. I wanted to say ‘yes’ but there was something else I wanted to try. Pulling up the drain, I sat there, constantly telling Morgan no as I felt the water drain away from my skin. I always loved this feeling as a child and experiencing it again, the enjoyment had not faded in the slightest. As the water pooled around my bottom, nearly drained, I felt a chill. Morgan noticed me shiver and quickly wrapped the towel around me, even though I was still sitting in the tub. “Okay, time to get out,” she announced. “We can’t have you catching a cold now, can we?” “No,” I answered sincerely and happily as Morgan as she dried me off and combed my baby-soft hair. I sucked my thumb in front of her, smiling and trying to look cute. She smiled back, undistracted until I was dry enough to get dressed. “Ready for a clean diaper?” Morgan asked, patting the diaper on the toilet seat. I nodded as Morgan helped me lie down on the bathmat, raising my bottom and putting the new diaper beneath me, and then got the lotion and powder. “Gotta make sure your skin stays nice and soft,” she teased me as she poured a decent amount of lotion between her hands, rubbing it together between her fingers so it would be nice and warm when she rubbed it into my skin. I babbled incessantly, kicking just slightly as Morgan cooed to me and continued to tell me what a good girl I was, reaching next for the powder and giving me a liberal helping on my front and rear before taping me up nice and snug. “Alright, now let’s get you downstairs so we can put on your jammies, then it’s off to bed.” “Bed?” I whimpered, shocked by the sudden realization. “But it’s not bedtime.” “It’s almost eight,” Morgan commented, tapping my nose playfully. “And that’s when all good little girls go night night.” I pouted, but knowing I didn’t have much of a say, I followed Morgan downstairs to my bedroom. I didn’t have any jammies suitable of a girl my age just yet. That was the next thing I planned to buy, so Morgan made due with an oversized T-shirt before tucking me in with Abba. “Oh,” I stammered, remembering what I had forgotten from last night. “My nightlight. It’s in the top cardboard box, can you get it?” “Sure thing, baby girl,” Morgan patted my head as she plugged it in, tucking me again tightly under the covers. “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you in the morning.” “Wait,” I said again, as Morgan turned around. She seemed a little more annoyed this time. I think she thought I was going to play that game where I keep asking for things to stay up late, but I knew that never worked. “Just one more thing, really, just one.” “What is it?” Morgan sighed, sitting down by my bed. “A glass of water? Check for monsters?” “A story?” I asked with a small, hopeful voice. Morgan had to remember we never went to bed as a little girl without story time, and seeing the soft smile upon her face, I knew she was on the same page as me, but her smile didn’t last long. “Sweetie, I’d love to tell you a story, but I don’t remember many off the top of my head,” Morgan sighed, stroking my hair gently as she spoke. “Was there a story you had you wanted me to tell you?” “Why don’t you make one up?” I asked, not realizing or considering what a toll that would be on Morgan out of the blue. Morgan though looked at me thoughtfully, closing her eyes and thinking about exactly what she wanted to say. She opened her eyes, smiling at me, and continuing to run her fingers through my smooth clean hair. “Alright, I have one. It’s the story of the two princesses Elizabeth and Alice.” Elizabeth and Alice, I thought as Morgan began. Those are our middle names. Looking into Morgan’s empathetic gaze, I knew to lay still and listen as Morgan began the story: “Once upon a time, there were two princesses, Elizabeth and Alice. Elizabeth was the elder and was heir to the throne while Alice was the younger. When Alice was born, it was said the princess Elizabeth could not stop gushing with joy that she had a sister who she could teach and become best friends with, but then something horrible happened. “A spell was placed on the princess Elizabeth. What’s more, nobody realized the spell had been placed upon her, not even Elizabeth herself. Because nobody knew the spell had been placed or even how, nobody knew to do anything, not even Elizabeth. What they did notice was that Elizabeth grew more and more withdrawn and would often lock herself away in her room. “She yelled at anyone that tried to talk to her. The king and queen were worried, but Alice most especially, as she wanted to be friends with her elder sister. As the years passed, the spell continued to hold and Elizabeth continued to shut herself off from anyone and everyone, taking solace in writing and drawing to express herself, but rarely if ever sharing it with the king and queen or Alice. “By now everyone knew there was something wrong with the elder princess, and the king and queen began to wonder if she would be ready to take the throne when the time came. They began to focus on Alice, who had been doing her best in the face of Elizabeth’s lack of responsibility to be the more responsible sister and more suitable heir. It was not a choice she made willingly, but the king and queen did not want to see what happened to Elizabeth happen to Alice. “Elizabeth remained sealed off in the castle alone. One day, Alice tried, knowing it would be in vain, to reach out again to Elizabeth. Years of constantly being ignored and yelled at had left Alice angry with Elizabeth and her attempts to reach her had become more and more pointed. Alice didn’t intend this, but she wanted to reach Elizabeth, and if that was the only way, so be it. “Elizabeth again ignored Alice until Alice opened Elizabeth’s door. It was then that Alice found Elizabeth not as her elder sister, but as a child. The spell was keeping Elizabeth a child and making her unable to tell anyone. It would ensure she could never become queen one day. Elizabeth snapped into a rage that someone knew her shameful secret and attacked her sister, but though Alice was shocked, now that she knew what spell had been cast upon her dear sister, she knew there must be some way to break it. “She looked upon Elizabeth, watching as she cried and sobbed like a child in her room, all alone. Alice knew Elizabeth had not wanted to be alone, she could see it in her sister’s eyes, so Alice approached Elizabeth, not to hurt her or shame her for being bound by the spell, but to help her bear with it, maybe even overcome it. Alice stayed by her elder sister’s side, taking care of her. Elizabeth was so happy, she showed a great deal of admiration and love for Alice for the first time since the spell had been cast upon her. Alice knew if she continued to be there for Elizabeth, maybe one day the spell would be lifted.” Morgan kept running her hand through my hair well after she had stopped telling the story, looking at me with understanding and sympathy. I was wrong. All this time, I was wrong. All this time I thought Morgan hated me, and all this time I thought she never loved me, and I was wrong. I was so very, very wrong. I could feel the scalding tears running down my cheeks as I tried to wipe them away, but my hands were tucked tightly under the covers. Morgan reached out the back of her index finger, gathering the tears gently. “Morgan,” I sniffled, knowing the story was not yet over, knowing that it was still yet to be written. “What if the spell can’t be lifted? What if… what if the princess doesn’t necessarily want it to be lifted?” Morgan leaned over, hugging me tightly around the neck. “Then I’m sure Alice would stay by Elizabeth’s side. If the spell can’t be broken, maybe she can help make it manageable. That’s what I think she’d do.” No, I thought, the tears coming again as I fought against the covers, pulling them out to hug Morgan back. That’s what you did do. That’s what you had been trying to do and all I did was shut you out. It wasn’t just about wanting to be a baby again, it was everything… I thought I would only get hurt if I tried to open up. I wanted to do everything alone, and I hurt everyone; Mom, Dad, and you. “I’m sorry,” I managed to get out through the maelstrom of my guilt and sorrow. “I’m sorry I said you never loved me. I didn’t know how you felt. I didn’t both to ask. I…” “Shhhhh,” Morgan hushed me with a single finger placed against my lips. “It’s okay, baby girl. Now you know, and you can always remember, I’m here for you whenever you need me.” I nodded softly, snuggling into my covers. “Will you be here in the morning?” “I will,” Morgan stroked my hair a final time. “Now close your eyes and have sweet dreams, and don’t worry about a thing.” I nodded as I closed my eyes and rolled over on my side facing the wall. Morgan shut the door as my nightlight buzzed and filled my room with a gentle blue glow. Comforted that I wasn’t alone, that I didn’t have anything to fear, I began to drift off to sleep. The door opened slightly as I was in between the waking world and the dream world. I wasn’t even sure if it was real, but the voice was distinctly Morgan’s. “Holly,” the words drifted lazily in my mind. “Do you think I’d be a good mommy?” Mommy? I thought, I didn’t understand the question, or if it was real. I struggled to open my eyes, to turn over and see if Holly had asked me that or if I had dreamed it, but the embrace of the sandman was pulling me deeper and deeper from consciousness. I only heard Morgan’s voice once more, and again, I couldn’t tell if I had imagined it or if she had actually said it, but it sounded like I had heard it once before. “Holly is such a good little baby.” I had heard Morgan say that before, not today, but sometime before… when… I searched my mind as I entered the land of dreams, a land that could show me anything I wanted, even things I had long forgotten. Chapter 8 A blinding white light broke the darkness, as intense and brilliant as anything I had ever seen. It pierced through the corners of my closed eyes, the flashes of white making my eyes flicker. As the light forced me awake, I could feel a strange sensation all over my body, something shameful and disgusting. I cringed as I placed a hand down on what felt like a bed, but it felt different than my own bed. My hand lay flat on damp sheets that let off a terrible odor. Moving my legs, feeling the slogging sensation of wet denim between them, I realized where they had come from. I was apparently not wearing diapers. I didn’t like the feeling at all as I lay in the wet bed and I squirmed, opening my eyes. This wasn’t my bed. This wasn’t even my room. I looked at my hand atop the wet sheets. I wasn’t even sure it was my hand. It was so little, so delicate and unmarked without the appearance of hard knuckles. They were the hands of a young child. The hands were attached to smooth little arms that ran up my body and under a purple T-shirt with a picture of Tweety Bird on it. As I moved, I realized the back of the shirt was also wet. I was under a set of plain sky blue sheets, dark blue all around me from my accident. There was no comforter. It was too hot for a comforter, but it wasn’t nearly this hot when I went to bed. Where was I? Who was I? I tried to move, but couldn’t, and I soon realized why I wasn’t terrified of what I was seeing or who I was. I was watching a memory. I listened to the fan buzz in the room, turning on a swivel back and forth across the room, making my fine hair, which was blonde back then, tremble as it blew on me in regular intervals. I recognized this room. I was right that it wasn’t mine, but I wasn’t sure whose it was. My head lifted up and I got my first good look at the room. It was very plain with walls painted yellow and dingy white furniture, bare of any real sign of a human presence. The bed was a twin bed, but my feet didn’t even reach halfway down the mattress and the sole pillow in its matching pillowcase was nearly the size of my entire body. I looked to my right at the window and saw what I thought was the afternoon sunlight blazing into the room. My adult mind was able to remember this place from these details. I didn’t know her name, but she was one of the people who Morgan and I went to daycare at her house when we lived in Arizona. Before I could piece together anymore of where I was and in what time, my body moved, jerking around as if it were terrified, getting on my knees over the large wet spot where I had wet the bed. I didn’t know what to do but kneel there with a feeling that could only be described as true horror. I felt dread in my heart as footsteps came upstairs, one by one, booming like the thunder of an approaching storm, getting louder and more terrifying than the last. Quickly, I threw myself over the bed and pulled the sheets over me as the large foreboding door to the left of me opened and someone walked in. I couldn’t remember the faces of any of the people who babysat me or whose houses I went to for daycare, and the dream did not compensate for that. The face was a misshapen blur, with what I could make out to be poufy brown hair, possibly a perm. I peeked at the door with my eyes open the slightest, thinking they were closed enough that she wouldn’t suspect I was awake, before I knew that never worked. I was hoping she would not notice I was awake, that she would let me sleep and that I could figure that out, but I felt a hand, large and, though gentle, so much more forceful than I had prepared for. I didn’t move an inch, playing dead as it were, but adults are not as easily fooled as kids want to believe, and this babysitter was among them. I couldn’t hear her voice clearly, a garbled amalgamation of various voices of the past, but I could understand the words that registered in my mind. “Come on, Holly,” it called my name, nudging me awake. “Naptime’s over. Don’t you want to play with the other kids?” I remained motionless until my worst fears were realized and the sheets were lifted. I felt all the blood drain from my face and limbs, as if all the life in me were gravitating inward and leaving me a cold, shivering mess of fear and shame. “Holly,” the words registered with feelings of disappointment and anger. “My god, how old are you? Wetting the bed? You stay right there.” If I was in Arizona, that would have put me at the younger end of four years old. I would have been potty trained for a year by now, maybe eighteen months. Of course, I still had accidents, but not during naps, only at night sometimes and on really long car rides when Dad wouldn’t stop and told me to hold it. I was a big girl, I didn’t have wet myself during the day and pretty soon I wouldn’t wet myself at all at night, but for whatever reason that afternoon, I had relapsed to much younger tendencies. Unlike in my adult years, where I took joy in secretly wetting myself and indulging in my adult baby behavior, this was so much different. I wanted to cry. I think I was crying, but I couldn’t tell. There was a deep sadness inside me, a deep regret that I had done something terrible and unforgivable, because when you’re four, well, every mistake that makes an adult upset with you feels like you’ve brought the world crashing down around you. The babysitter’s footsteps were rushed and panicking, the noise only making it sound like I really had done something bad. Eventually, she returned, her thunderous footsteps signifying her approach before she appeared over me like a giant twice my size. Her voice boomed, and though I didn’t understand all of it, I understood I was in trouble. Rolling me over, she placed a towel over me and rolled me back, taking off my shirt, my shorts and my underwear. I didn’t understand what was going on until I heard the snap of a plastic lid and noticed her taking a handful of baby wipes out of a pink tub with the name “Morgan” written on the side in black marker. Exaggerated words of shame and disappointment were rained down on my as I was cleaned up the way a baby would be cleaned up after wetting their diaper, only I had the added disadvantage of being soaked from head to toe. I lay there, squirming and crying and saying “no” for what felt like hours as I was thoroughly wiped down. I was utterly devastated inside at how I was being treated not like a big girl, but a little diaper-wetting baby. Her hands and movements were very rough, as if she did not appreciate that I had put her in a position to do this, but left her no choice, and my whining was most likely not helping matters. It felt like the end of the world, but then came a pause. A soft little voice called from the door as the babysitter went over to the door and picked up a little toddler with tiny, tiny blonde pigtails in a hand-me-down Snoopy shirt and a diaper. “Howwy!” the baby babbled as she reached out at me as the babysitter put her on the dry end of the bed near my head as the babysitter continued to wipe me down. It wasn’t enough that I had to be treated this way, but I knew this little baby. This was Morgan. Morgan was watching me. “Howwy baby!” “That’s right,” the words registered with a sickeningly sweet condescending tone. “Holly is a baby today, just like you. She wet herself during her nap, just like a little baby.” I knew I was crying at this point. Morgan was my little sister and I wanted her to look up to me. How could she look up to me the way I was? She would never like me; she would never want to be my sister. “Howwy ith good widdle baby!” I heard her say, feeling her tiny hand tap down on my forehead, looking up at her little toothy grin as she patted my head softly, praising me for being good for the babysitter, praising me for being cleaned up like a baby. I felt Morgan’s small lips on my forehead as I closed my eyes, and opened them, breathing heavily, back in my own bed, in my own room, with my hand over my chest. I played the dream back over and over, and it never got murkier. Looking deep inside myself, I asked if it was real, and I could not think of a reason that something so clear and elaborate hadn’t really happened. I did live in Arizona, that was what Morgan looked like, and remembering how I was treated made me cringe with a darkly nostalgic sensation that made me incredible uncomfortable, but Morgan… Morgan made me feel better. Morgan made me feel okay and that I didn’t have to be ashamed of it. She smiled at me as I was treated like a baby girl. I didn’t know what time it was as I got out of bed. Morgan would undoubtedly be sleeping upstairs in her old room, so I felt no fear of being caught out of bed as I opened the door and slumped down on the couch, turning on the TV to clear my head as I skimmed through whatever infomercials and 80s sitcom reruns were airing at this ungodly hour. The urge to pee came on somewhere in the middle of an episode of The Cosby Show, but I did not feel like going in my diaper anymore. Taking off the tabs, I walked naked from the waist down to the bathroom and did my business like a proper lady. As I did, I felt a deep emptiness inside that tugged at my heart. Jesus, I thought as I finished up. What the hell is wrong with me? Of course, I knew what was wrong with me now, or at least a big part of it. There was something so soothing yet painful about the memory I had uncovered, as though I had unburdened myself of a great mystery while giving myself the even heavier burden of what I assumed to be the truth. I was sure it was that sense of shame while Morgan praised me that confused me like this, that made it take root in my mind. I couldn’t blame her. She couldn’t have remembered, but even telling myself that did nothing to console how I felt. I turned off the TV as I put my diaper back on and returned to bed. I looked at the window to see day had not yet broken, nor was it close. The only light in the room was still coming from the nightlight. Clasping my eyelids shut, I threw the covers over myself, searching for dreams that did not make me feel so badly, but morning came before I could. For a moment I thought I was having the same dream again, but the hand reaching to wake me was not as strong against my shoulder and I was dry, not just my sheets but also my diaper. I did not feel like the two-year-old I was supposed to be this morning, but Morgan felt like the caretaker just as much as she had the night before. “Rise and shine,” she commanded cheerfully. “The sun is shining and it’s a new day.” I rolled over lazily, looking at Morgan as if she had gone crazy, as if I hadn’t expected this, but Morgan interpreted it as more of my early morning grumpiness, and responded with even more baby talk. “Well, good morning, Miss Grumpy! You want to come upstairs with Miss Morgan and have some breakfast?” I could have played along, reaching to be lifted out of bed or pretending to put up a fight, but instead, I simply sat up, removed the covers and walked to the door. Morgan was perplexed by this, but did not falter in her own duties, pulling me back and checking my diaper. “Wow, someone stayed dry all night,” she said, honestly surprised. “I thought for sure I would be changing a wet diaper first thing this morning.” “It’s fine,” I responded in my normal adult voice. “I don’t need to go.” After twenty-four hours of whining and pouting in negative responses, Morgan was utterly silenced by my incredibly grown-up response. It took her a moment to follow me out of my bedroom and up the stairs that I had already begun to ascend without the need for her handholding. “Wait,” Morgan called, grabbing my hand back. “This isn’t what we agreed to. What’s going on with you?” “Nothing,” I lied to her. “I’m fine.” “You are not fine,” Morgan laughed slightly, pulling me back again. “This isn’t the way you were acting yesterday. I thought you liked being treated like a baby. Isn’t that what you wanted?” “I changed my mind,” I pulled back, trying to escape, but only getting to the top of the stairs before Morgan grabbed me at the top, slamming her hand across the doorframe, barring me so I could not leave the staircase. “Did something happen last night?” Morgan asked, before he own face drained of color. “Was it the story? Was it what I said?” “What you said?” I asked, barely remembering anything after the story. “What are you talking about? No, I’m fine, I just…” “Holly,” Morgan begged me, her voice choked in earnest. “Please don’t shut me out again. I liked our time together yesterday. I liked taking care of you, and how it made it so you opened up to me. Don’t do this again to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” “Nothing’s wrong!” I raised my voice, trying to push past her. “Just let me through!” “Not until you tell me!” she argued, holding me back. Frustrated with myself, with my thoughts, with who I was, I shoved Morgan across from the door, stomping past her across the kitchen before turning around, a safe distance enough away. “Fine!” I screamed, spiraling around to face her. “You really want to know? It’s you, Morgan! The whole reason I am the way I am is because of you!” Morgan looked at me for a moment, her eyes glazed over with confusion as a small smirk emerged, enraging me even more as I clenched my teeth. “What the hell do you think is funny about that?” “What the hell are you talking about?” Morgan asked, more bewildered than anything else. “I did this to you? I bought you all that baby stuff and convinced you to act like one? I did that? Are you serious?” “It’s not funny!” I screamed again, grabbing Morgan away from the wall and pushing her into it again, making the china cabinet in the dining room next to us rattle precariously. Morgan looked at me, deathly cold in her stare. “If you want to talk, we can talk,” she tried to be reasonable. “Sit down and we can talk about this while we eat.” Going with my better judgment, I made my way over to the table where I saw a bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar had been prepared for me, along with a sippy cup and that damned airplane spoon. I picked it up and threw it across the living room where it nicked the wall. “I want a real spoon!” I demanded. “I am not a baby!” “You think you’re acting like an adult?” Morgan said, going to the living room to get the babyish utensil. “Because I can assure you, you are most certainly not.” “I don’t care what you think,” I kept my attitude going, not knowing where to draw the line or even how. “You’re not my mother. You don’t have the right to act like it, no matter how much you enjoy it.” “Wait, wait, you think I’m doing this because I want to? You think I wanted to spend my weekend changing my grown sister’s diapers, feeding her and watching her like she wasn’t able to do it herself?” Morgan was actively laughing now, mocking me, as she walked back and put the airplane spoon in front of me defiantly. “You wanted this, Holly. You wanted this before I even got here. Maybe you didn’t want me, but you got me, and you sure seemed pleased as punch about it last night, so I don’t care what you think or how upset with yourself you are – you are not taking this out on me again. Now eat your oatmeal.” I glared at Morgan. I knew she was right, and that just made me burn inside even more. Looking at the oatmeal in front of me, I waved my hand back and slapped it off the table, listening as the plastic bowl rolled around on the floor as Morgan looked at me in horror. I dared her to do something. I wanted her to get mad. I wanted her to end this once and for all and make me realize I am not a baby. I wanted that so badly, but as she raised her hand to slap me as I so rightfully deserved, she stopped. She glared at me and I could see it in her eyes how badly she wanted to do so. Her hand hesitated in the air as I waited for it to come flying down across my face, yet she put her hand down, slowly and trembling all over as she fought to restrain the pent-up anger she felt inside. She looked at me, grabbing her sides as she hunched over the island counter, looking like she was going to explode, both literally and figuratively. “What’s the matter?” I said, getting up from my seat, but Morgan looked at me like I had no right to even ask such a question. “Just sit down!” she ordered me, ready to cry. “I don’t need this stress right now, Holly!” “What are you so upset about?” I asked selfishly, knowing I had to be the one in more turmoil right now than her, but I wasn’t. She turned to me, beet-red as she wobbled over to one of the high-standing chairs at the island and took a seat, bending over and breathing deeply. “Really?” Morgan asked me skeptically, as skeptical as I had asked her the same question moments ago. “You really want to know?” Morgan was perfect compared to me. Whatever she was so visibly upset about what be like cake to what I was dealing with. “It can’t be that ba–” “I’m pregnant,” she spit at me, so violently and angrily and ready to break down. I sat back down, stunned and uncertain that I wasn’t sure what I had just heard. She glared at me again, judging me for my impudence, repeating it again. “Didn’t you hear me?” I heard it loud and clear, but I could not think of anything I could say, anything I should say, but only the thought that my sister who had cared for me as a baby all day yesterday was having a baby of her own. Chapter 9 The seconds ticked by as I sat at the table, looking at Morgan from across the kitchen. Her head was sunk down onto the island counter with her hands over her head, sheltering her from whatever judgment she thought I might put upon her. I, however, couldn’t do something like that to her, not since she hadn’t judged me. More than that, my silence was a search for answers that I could only obtain if I asked questions, but I couldn’t find the air to breathe that would let me speak to her. I could only sit there for what felt like hours. After a few failed attempts to find the words in my throat, my parted lips finally elicited a question that pierced through the uncomfortable silence. “How…” I started, stopping, waiting for her to look up, but she remained hidden under her hands. “How long have you known?” At first, I thought Morgan wasn’t going to answer me, but after a minute, she seemed to find her own voice once again as well. “A week,” the words came out in such a guttural manner, as if she had been choking on them. I blinked, feeling some moisture at the corner of my eyes – not tears, not yet at least. “How far along?” I continued asking the questions swirling around in my head. “Two weeks,” Morgan responded, much quicker and much clearer than last time. I nodded, taking a deep breath before I asked another question. “Am I the first…?” “Yes,” she stated sharply and outright, almost annoyed. I hesitated to ask another question, but curiosity got the best of me. “So Mom and Dad don’t…” “No,” she said, finally lifting her head, looking like she was ready to cry, or that maybe she had been crying silently for the past few minutes. I looked down at the table, away from Morgan’s bitter stare, feeling ashamed with myself for thinking I was the only person with problems in our family, a thought that was punctuated far more cruelly when Morgan called me out. “Happy now you’re not the only screw-up in this family?” “I never said you were perfect,” I responded, trying to save face, but it was already far too late for that. Morgan glared at me, her brow furrowing upon hearing that. “What was it you said to me Friday?” she recalled, her voice deep with spite. “About my perfect fucking life?” I winced, ready to cry myself. I fought back the tears as best I could, knowing I had no right to do so right now. I tightened my hands into fists in my lap, trying to squeeze out the pain to no avail. “I’m sorry,” I spit my apology out, as though it was burning me from inside and I needed to get it out of me. “I didn’t know.” “No shit,” Morgan muttered, crossing her arms and laying her head back down over them, sick of me. I couldn’t blame her in the slightest. I could only imagine what I looked like from her perspective, whining about my problems as if I was the only one who had them, bitter at the people who wanted to help me. I undoubtedly was as pathetic as I felt. All she had wanted to do was help me, and I constantly looked at it like she had an ulterior motive. It wasn’t like she gave me any hints that that was the case… no, wait. No, she had. I almost forgot, but no, that wasn’t my imagination, was it? I looked up at Morgan in her sheltered state, my curiosity again eating at me from inside. “So that wasn’t my imagination,” I questioned her seriously. “You really did ask me if you would be a good mom?” “It was stupid. Forget it,” she replied, confirming my suspicions. She did ask me that, after an entire day of treating me like a real toddler, she asked me if she’d be a good mother. There was no way that was a coincidence any longer. “Is that what all this was?” I began to speak more confidently, no longer feeling like this was all my fault. “I wanted to hear it from someone who I could trust to tell me the truth,” Morgan’s words bubbled up from the granite countertop. “Are you planning to keep it then?” I asked in such a nonchalant tone, that I immediately regretted it. Morgan peeked up from the resting place of her arms, eyeing me like I was an idiot before sinking her head back down on top of them. I was preparing to apologize, opening my mouth when Morgan’s response finally came, broken and painful. “I don’t know.” I knew better than to push that topic, but Morgan’s actions and how they affected me were not something I could just as easily ignore. “Did you…” I stopped, wanting to choose my words carefully. “Were you using this weekend as a chance to help you decide?” “It’s not like I planned any of this,” Morgan fell back on that excuse. Of course she didn’t plan this. I wasn’t an idiot. “I just thought…” “So you used me,” I interrupted softly, accusing her outright. This brought her head upright. She looked at me, incredulous that I would even dare to say such a thing after everything she had said. Maybe if I wasn’t selfish, I would give her the benefit of the doubt on everything, but I was selfish and I wanted answers to the things she had done that affected me. “Oh, give me a break,” she huffed, placing a hand on her forehead, exasperated. “Stop saying it like that, like you didn’t want it.” “What I wanted doesn’t change the fact that you took advantage of it,” I asserted myself, not backing down from any guilt-tripping she would put upon me. I may have been in the wrong on Friday, but it didn’t make her any better, using me like a guinea pig for her life decisions. Morgan looked aside, annoyed with my line of reasoning. “You make it sound like I bullied you into this.” “Didn’t you? Holding my attacking you over my head so you could test out your parenting skills?” I reminded her, the same way she was reminding me. I wasn’t going to be the bad guy if she was just as guilty as I was. I waited for her to snap back at me, but once again I was foiled. Morgan sighed, her gaze becoming downcast as she looked down on the countertop, avoiding my line of sight. “I guess you’re right,” she conceded. Seeing her look so defeated made me feel I had given her the wrong impression rather than feel like I had proven my point, and I was just as guilty for allowing her to go on with my treatment, and in some instance, even encouraging it. “It’s not like I hated it,” I admitted half-heartedly. Morgan laughed, closing her eyes. “That’s an understatement.” “But you still took advantage of it,” I affirmed, wanting to be absolutely clear about that point. Morgan though did not seem to feel much guilt over that matter now that she had fessed up to it. “Isn’t that what you wanted?” she asked, putting the spotlight back on me. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t your whole plan this weekend to give yourself the full baby treatment?” She was right, but not entirely. “I told you, this was the first time I was going all out,” I reminded her. “Until now, I would just sneak a diaper here or there in the middle of the night, maybe suck my pacifier on nights when I knew no one would come to wake me up in the morning. Living with Mom and Dad doesn’t exactly give me ample opportunities for this, you know, and you… you just went all out and barely gave me any choice.” “So I went too far, is that it?” Morgan asked for clarification. “No,” I sighed, putting my hand on my forehead this time, rubbing at it, trying to find the exact words for how I felt, but the truth was this feeling was not nearly as simple as I wished it would be. “No, I liked all of it, but that’s what I hated most.” “I don’t understand,” Morgan replied. I wasn’t surprised. “I didn’t choose to be like this, Morgan,” I did my best to explain. “And truthfully, sometimes I hate being this way. It feels like I’ve given up, like I failed at growing up and this is all I have left. It’s comforting for a while, but then I just hate myself for it.” “This isn’t all you have,” Morgan tried to reassure me like yesterday, but I found out too hard to believe, even more so when she dared to put herself in my shoes. “You just hit a big bump in the road, same as me. You don’t see me in a diaper.” No, I thought, grimacing as I questioned whether I should tell her the full truth. No, you wouldn’t be. You were never put in a position that made you question if you were still a baby, were you? “Holly?” Morgan called my name, my silence having gone longer than I realized, but it was that push that pushed me to tell it to her straight. “I had a dream last night,” I began to explain. “It was about when we lived in Arizona, but it was so much clearer than any dream I’ve ever had. It was more like a memory. I’m not sure how much of it was real, if any of it was real, but in it, I wet the bed at the house we went to for daycare when we lived there. The babysitter stripped me and wiped me clean and you and her both said what a good baby I was, even though I wasn’t a baby, even though I didn’t want to be a baby. Still, you praised me for it. The fact that it made you happy made me happy, despite how much I hated it.” Morgan didn’t know how to respond to this, looking at me confused, like she was trying to remember it herself, despite having only been two, which is exactly the reasoning she decided to use. “Even if that did happen, you can’t blame me for something that happened before I could remember anything at all.” “I don’t,” I admitted reluctantly. “But that’s why I feel like this today. I feel like I’m being encouraged not to grow up, to stay like this forever…” The moisture gathered at the corner of my eyes again. This time, I was sure it was not a false alarm as my voice cracked. “I think there might really be a spell on me and that I won’t ever grow up.” My voice broke as I felt the first tear roll down my cheek. Looking pathetic, crying in nothing but a T-shirt and a diaper, Morgan came away from the island and joined me at the kitchen table where she had sat across from me at mealtimes all day yesterday. She placed her hand out towards mine, though did not take it, seeming to pull back at the last minute. “You’ll grow up,” she told me, hunched over the table so I could see her face while I stared down at the childish placemat in front of me, mocking me in the face of Morgan’s words. “Everything I said last night was how I really felt. I don’t hate you, and I never did. I love you, Holly, but hearing all this from you… do you hate me?” I winced, squeezing my eyes to milk the last of the tears out of my eyes so I wouldn’t have to keep crying. “No,” I answered. “I just… I always hated that we had nothing in common. I hated that you were better than me and more popular than me. I hated that we were so different… but that was all in my head, wasn’t it?” “Holly,” she spoke softly, putting her hand on top of mine. “Honest and truthful, would you rather this weekend had never happened?” “I don’t know,” I whispered, a slight headache starting to form, prompting me to find a way to end this painful conversation. “I’m more confused than ever now.” “You’re not alone,” Morgan squeezed my hand encouragingly. “All I wanted was to see if I could do a good job taking care of a baby full time by taking care of you, but now I don’t know. I don’t think any of this has helped. It’s just made things harder.” It killed me inside to see Morgan like this, because it meant I was right. Weally were the same, maybe not on the surface but inside we were two peas in a pod; stubborn, selfish, confused, and lost. I knew how that felt and I knew I would be remiss if I let her feel that way alone. “You did do a good job,” I answered. “You did a great job. Morgan, I haven’t felt so loved and cared for in years, and I have no doubt you would make a great mom.” “Then why aren’t you showing it?” Morgan asked sincerely. I pondered this question with sadness for the answer that remained unchanged through all of this. “Because I can’t be like this and be the way I want to be at the same time.” Morgan squeezed my hands tight and let loose a revelation from her lips; “Why do you have to choose? Why not just be you?” I thought about who I was for a moment. Someone who had scraped by out of college, who hadn’t ever held a real job, who had a passion for her art but gave up when she was bullied out of it, who had to rely on her parents for a living, who enjoyed watching preschool cartoons and wearing diapers and sucking her pacifier at night before bed. I was a complete mess. The words cracked out from my mouth as I closed my eyes, unable to bear whatever look Morgan would have for me. “I don’t know who “me” is.” My heart sank as Morgan let go of my hand, leaving me alone with my own admittance that I couldn’t keep my life in one piece, and was helpless to watch it crumble down around me at such a young age. I was beyond help. I would be little baby Holly forever. It was the only thing I was any good at. Strong arms wrapped around me from behind as my eyes snapped open, gasping as Morgan embraced me tightly from behind the chair, her lips close to my ear that she could gently whisper exactly what she thought of my opinion of myself. “You’re my big little sister,” she told me, pure and sincere. “You are a creative, aspiring adult trying to find her place in the world and a playful baby girl that finds wonders in things most of us have already forgotten. If you were to choose to be one or the other, you wouldn’t be you anymore. The only one who wants you to choose, Holly, is you, and I won’t let you do that. If you don’t know who you are anymore, I’ll always be here to remind you.” I cried for a while after that while Morgan held me close. She never hushed me, giving me all the time I needed to cry out all of my self-loathing and fear of who I was and who I was becoming, as if it was something I had to be ashamed of. She never let go, not for one single moment, until I had finished. “You said you’d stay by my side,” I sniffled as I finished my bawling. “Did you mean that?” “Every word,” Morgan whispered softly to me. My lips quivered as I took my hands and placed them on Morgan’s arms gently. “Then… is it okay if I stay by yours?” Morgan let go as I stood up and turned to face her. We hugged for the first time that could remember. We held each other so tightly, remembering and sealing our unconditional love for each other despite all of our flaws and failures as siblings beforehand. Morgan held my hand as we let go, looking at me with hope in her eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen after today, but… just for now, just until I have to leave, can you stay my baby Holly?” The tears nearly returned as I covered my mouth, nodding as I hugged Morgan again, while she patted my head gently, soothing me in her arms. “There there,” she cooed as she held me. “Everything’s going to be okay.” Chapter 10 The return to baby Holly was nearly instant, now that there were no more secrets or shame between Morgan and I. As she patted my head, I let my body weight go on top of Morgan. She nearly stumbled, holding me up as I looked at her with pouty eyes. “Miss Morgan, I’m hungwy,” I pouted, knowing full well my breakfast was still all over the floor. That was in the past though, and Morgan helped me into my chair, pushing me in as she went to one of the kitchen drawers and wet it down under the kitchen sink. I sat there, playing with my airplane spoon and zooming it around playfully. Morgan smiled, ruffling my hair as she walked behind me and began to clean up the spilled oatmeal, cooling on the floor. “When I’m done with this, I’ll make you another bowl,” she told me, on her hands and knees on the hardwood floor. “And no more messes. You’re going to eat every spoonful, okay?” “Okays!” I announced in a loud voice, oblivious to ideas such as indoor voices as I made airplane noises and crashed the spoon into the table. Morgan chuckled a little as she finished cleaning up the mess on the floor and made her way back to the kitchen. “Is there anything special you want in your oatmeal, sweetie?” Morgan asked as she began to make another serving. “Bwown sugar! Bwown sugar” I demanded, banging the spoon on the plastic placemat in front of me, chanting it over and over again until Morgan came back to me, holding back her laughter as she took the spoon away from me, this time with little resistance. “Okay, okay, brown sugar it is,” Morgan said. “And booberries!” I added, thinking about it. Morgan turned around, walking to the kitchen to see if we had any blueberries, but I already knew they were there. After all, I was the one who bought them to have this weekend. “Look what I found!” Morgan announced, presenting the blueberry package like one of those prize models on game shows. I clapped my hands, playing along with the idea that I didn’t know they were there. “Yay! Booberries!” I babbled, slapping my hands on the placemat now that my spoon was gone. Morgan can’t take my hands away, I thought with a devilish grin as I waited for my breakfast. The oatmeal was ready in a matter of minutes and I watched impatiently, bouncing in my seat as Morgan walked back with a new plastic bowl of the hearty mush, so fresh off the stove that steam was rising off the top. “Bweakfast! Bweakfast!” “Not yet,” Morgan chided me as she placed the bowl out of my reach. “We need to make sure it’s cool enough so we don’t burn your tongue? You don’t want that, do you?” “No!” I announced, grabbing at my mouth fearfully. “No burn!” “Okay, so how about a banana first?” Morgan said, pulling one out from behind her “Nanna!” I clapped my hands as she peeled it, breaking it off into chunks and placing them on the placemat for me to eat. I grabbed at them with no regard to my strength, mashing them in my hands as I tried putting my hands into my mouth, still holding onto the piece, clumsily getting mashed banana all over my face and hands. “Holly!” Morgan put her hands on her hips, looking at me sternly. “What did I say about messes?” “No mowe?” I looked up at her innocently, gumming at the backside of my index and middle finger. Morgan sighed and got the baby wipes, only taking care of my hands for the time being. Surely she knew I wasn’t going to let my face stay clean either. “That’s right,” she said in a patient, teaching tone as she scrubbed my hands clean. “And no more messes means we have to stay clean. Can you stay clean for me and not get messy anymore?” “Twy,” I answered, whimpering a little bit, resisting the adult idea of responsibility and consequences. “Twy okays?” “Yes,” Morgan said, disposing of the dirty wipes and fetching the airplane spoon from the island counter. “Trying is okay, and Miss Morgan will be very proud of you if you try your best.” “Okays,” I said, doing my best as Morgan placed spoonful after spoonful of creamy warm oatmeal in my mouth. Some of it spilled just as a result of how careful one needs to be when spoon-feeding, but Morgan could tell I really was trying. Only once did she jab the back of my throat with the spoon, which I coughed, spitting some food out on the placemat. “Holly,” she looked at me warily, warning me with her tone. “Was that trying?” “I didn’t do it on purpose!” I blurted out, defending myself. “The spoon hit me in the back of my mouth!” “Oh, Holly,” Morgan said, stroking my hair as I looked at her, afraid of being scolded. “If I do that, let me know, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.” I tried not to spend too much time regretting that I didn’t say anything about the painful spoon-feeding sooner. Once I had said something, Morgan did a much more careful job, pausing when she thought the spoon was in enough so I could close my mouth and she could pull the spoon back through my lips. This wasn’t only so much easier for me, but it was even a little fun, smiling at Morgan with little bits of mush on my lips. “Good girl!” Morgan announced, looking at me with excitement that I then mimicked in the fullest. “You ate everything!” Because you didn’t gag me this time, I thought with a bit of an inner smirk as Morgan wiped my face clean and pulled out my chair, setting me loose on the living room to color and listen to music. I didn’t feel like just drawing in the lines today and turned to the back of the coloring book to the last page. The back of the buffer page at the beginning of the book was happily blank. Ripping it out, I began to choose through my crayons carefully, being extra careful as I didn’t have the luxury of erasing sketch lines. “What are you drawing?” Morgan asked, standing over my shoulder all of a sudden. My eyes bulged as I threw myself over the fragile paper, looking up at Morgan with a burning red face. “You can’t look!” I exclaimed. “It’s a surprise!” “Oh,” Morgan said, teasing me by trying to peek through the space between my head and my arms. This only made me more defiant as I tightened myself up as much as I could without crinkling the paper. “Can I see it when you’re done?” “Only if you don’t peek anymore,” I said. Morgan agreed and sat down on the couch, watching TV in full sight of me. I adjusted myself so the only thing she could see if me was my puffy diapered butt. I pretty much went through the entire Crayola rainbow usually spending only a minute or so with each color. I hoped I would be able to smear the colors like paint, but those crayon people were smart with kids and I found they didn’t smudge as easily as I’d like. This made my work more difficult, but also more rewarding once it was finished. It was not my finest work, far from it, but I wanted to believe Morgan’s words from yesterday. I wanted to draw again because it made me happy, and looking at the drawing I had spent the better part of two hours working on, I was proud of it. It was the first thing I had drawn in years that I wanted to show off. Crawling to my feet, ignoring the carpet marks set into my legs, I toddled over to Morgan, holding the picture behind my back. “Miss Morgan! Miss Morgan!” I jumped up and down, shaking the home entertainment system behind me, to which I immediately stopped. “Miss Morgan, I got a surprise for you!” Morgan turned down the volume on the television as she placed the remote down and gave me her full attention, putting her hands on her lap. “What is it, sweetie?” “You gotta close your eyes,” I ordered her. She did as I told promptly. I giggled as the paper rustled as I held it out in front of me, arms fully outstretched and displaying my picture in front of Morgan. “Okay, open them!” Morgan did, and I couldn’t even begin to explain the range of emotions she felt looking at it. It was a fairly simple drawing I thought, not very complex since I couldn’t sketch it out first. I drew myself as a two-year old in a pink sleeper with a hood that made me look like a teddy bear, being held up by Morgan as she was currently, spinning me around in the middle of a baby pink nursery, both of us with the biggest smiles on our faces, with little curling arrows pointing out which one was “me” and “Miss Morgan”. At the top, scrawled in large crude letters: I LUV YU, MISS MORGAN Morgan took the picture from me, holding it carefully in her hands as she looked over the picture and all its meanings. I held my hands behind my back, bending in and out as I waited to be told what she thought of it, expecting nothing but praise. “Do you like it?” I prompted impatiently. Morgan sat there with the picture in her lap for a few moments before closing her eyes and nodding feverishly. Reaching her hands up, she took mine and pulled me close. “Come here, kiddo,” she sniffled, hugging me tightly at the sign of full appreciation for her and all she was capable of. I blushed in her embrace, hugging her back as she continued to pat and rub my back until she let go. “That was a very nice surprise,” she said, wiping the beginning of tears from her eyes as she got up from the couch. “I think such a pretty picture calls for a very yummy lunch.” “Yummy!” I jumped up and down a little, following Morgan to the kitchen as she folded up the picture and placed it in her purse for safekeeping. Turning around, she scooted me back to the living room. “Can you be my good girl and clean up your crayons while Miss Morgan makes lunch?” Morgan asked me. Of course I wanted to be a good girl, so I smiled with a really big grin, nodding and scampering back to the living room, toppling over on the floor, making everything in the room shake and rattle. “Easy there, baby girl!” Morgan called out from the kitchen as she got out some plates. “Good girls don’t run around like wild animals.” “I know!” I called as I quietly cleaned up my coloring supplies, making sure everything was in the plastic bin and the lid sealed on tight. I pretended to grunt and heave as I “tried” to lift the bin and carry it back to the laundry room slowly and carefully. Morgan turned around from her preparations, smiling as she took out some slices of bread from the bag on the counter. “Are you putting them away for me?” Morgan asked, as if it wasn’t something I could normally do. “What good manners! I think I’ll get someone a treat with their lunch.” I giggled excitedly as I put the plastic bin away in the top cabinet of the laundry room as I headed back to the kitchen, pulling out my chair and sitting myself down. I tried to pull myself in, bouncing the chair up and down until Morgan came up to me and pushed me in. “It’s okay to ask for help, sweetie. That’s what I’m here for.” “I know,” I said with a cute little lilt as Morgan placed lunch in front of me: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cup of applesauce, a sippy cup of milk, and an… oatmeal chocolate chip cookie! I reached for the cookie instinctively, only to hear the gentle scold of Morgan’s voice. “Ah ah ah,” she warned me. “Not until you eat the rest of your lunch.” I smiled, reaching for my sandwich. It was a whole sandwich and I frowned a bit. It looked too big for a little girl like me and I held it up to Morgan, dissatisfied. “What’s the matter, Holly?” she asked. “Is something wrong with your sandwich?” “Too big,” I muttered softly. Morgan smiled, patting my head and got up from the table. She returned with a knife and cut the sandwich into quarters so I could eat them more easily. I took one of the quarters and began to nibble on it. “Miss Morgan, why do I get a sandwich?” “Because you’re going to be a big girl soon,” Morgan said, resting her chin in her hands as she watched me intently. She was right, it was getting to noon and I’d have to start cleaning up and get ready for Mom and Dad to get home that evening. As glad as I was about how things turned out with Morgan, I did not want to go through it again with my parents. As I ate my applesauce like I was supposed to, dribbling only the tiniest bit, I placed my spoon down, looking down at the rest of my lunch nervously as I felt a rumble in my tummy, just like the one yesterday morning. “Holly, is something wrong?” Morgan asked, placing her hand on top of mine. I looked away. It wasn’t like doing it yesterday made it any less embarrassing, but Morgan took my hand and squeezed it tight, and I knew I couldn’t just ignore her. “Holly, do you have to potty?” I nodded softly, wincing as I squirmed on the kitchen chair. Morgan took the spoon away, pulling my lunch back and holding both my hands. “I’m right here, sweetie,” she told me comfortingly as my face turned red. “Just go ahead, and I’ll change you as soon as you’re done.” “But my cookie…” I whined with the one-track mind only a toddler could have. “Will I still get my cookie?” “Of course you will,” Morgan cooed as she held my hands tightly. “Just relax. I’m right here. Nothing bad is going to happen. You trust me, don’t you?” I nodded quietly as I did my best to relax, focusing only on the warmth of Morgan’s hands as my tummy bubbled and tightened. Feeling the pressure, I let my body coax it out naturally, but my eyes widened as the natural progression of my body filled up more than I expected. Very rude sounds not associated with good girls rose from beneath my seat. I could have sworn I felt my bottom rising off the chair as the slimy warm mess poured out of me. Morgan’s calming, accepting smile seemed to sink as I looked downward with tremendous hesitation. “Morgan,” I announced, moving only the slightest and feeling the mess shift. “I think I made the Top 10.” Morgan looked at me like she didn’t believe me until the smell reached her nose. “Oh, oh god,” she gasped as she waved her hand frantically in front of her face. “Downstairs, downstairs now.” “But my cookie,” I whined. Morgan took the cookie with us as we went downstairs to get changed, checking all the while down the staircase to make sure I wasn’t leaking out the sides. Fortunately, the Bambino was holding up nicely even if it didn’t feel like it. Spreading the changing mat out on the floor, she made sure the diaper would only touch the mat once it was opened before returning to my room for my diapering supplies. Arms full upon return, Morgan spread the various tools of the task before her, and sighed as she stared at my diaper, tinted just the faintest bit of brown at the seat. “Alright, let’s do this.” “Cookie,” I interrupted her as she began to tear the tapes off, reaching for the cookie over by the bottle of powder. “Can you wait until I’m done?” Morgan asked, tickling my sides, but all I did was squirm and reach further over. “Cookie!” I squirmed and reached, nearly turning over with my diaper half-open. Morgan panicked and reached out to grab my waist and turn me back over. I guess it must have been bad if she was that worried about it spilling out. She didn’t even think twice to hand me my cookie to nibble on while she changed me. As the diaper came down, so did the smell of it rise up, hitting us both in the nose. It almost made eating the cookie a bad thing, almost. I was able to bear with the smell as the wipes came out over and over again as Morgan lifted my legs and began to wash my diaper places nice and clean. As the change progressed, I noticed Morgan didn’t seem all that phased. Halfway through my cookie, I pouted a little bit as she spread my legs and started to clean my nethers. “Not a Top 10?” Morgan chuckled, cleaning my lips with a delicate touch. “You really want to know what a Top 10 is?” I nodded, wriggling around a bit as Morgan scooted over to me and bent down, whispering the details in my ears. My smile of curiosity quickly turned to a look of abject disgust and horror. “No!” I gasped, nearly dropping my cookie. “That’s disgusting! Little kids actually…” “Yes,” Morgan laughed, now that I knew the awful truth. “Still think you could make the Top 10?” “I’ll pass,” I sighed, finishing my cookie. “That’s my girl,” Morgan said as she pulled the dirty diaper from my bottom and replaced it with a fresh one. I giggled as she powdered me heavily, to the point once the diaper was taped up and she patted my bottom to signal me to get up, that some powder clouds escaped. “Mmm,” Morgan said, patting my diaper again. “Someone smells pretty for their nap?” “Already?” I panicked, sitting up as Morgan wrapped up the dirty diaper and cleaned her hands with a wipe. “But it feels like…” “It went fast, didn’t it?” Morgan said, helping me to my feet. “Almost too fast.” I nodded, sucking my thumb and pouting as I was led to my bedroom and tucked tightly into bed. Morgan made sure I had Abba and smoothed the covers. “Do you need anything?” “Paci,” I mumbled. Morgan nodded and got my pacifier, placing it in my mouth, stroking my hair to help me sleep. “I’m going to go clean up so Mom and Dad don’t know what happened,” Morgan told me as I closed my eyes. “I have to go after that, so I’ll probably be gone by the time you wake up. Are you going to be okay?” I nodded softly, even though I really didn’t want Morgan to go. I wanted her to stay forever. I didn’t want our parents to come home. I wanted to live here with her in this state of bliss for the rest of my life, even knowing that in a few hours, I will be right back to wanting to grow up, but right now, I wouldn’t mind if time just stopped. “I think so,” I said, encouraging Morgan to think I would be okay, but I wasn’t only concerned about myself. “What about you?” Morgan sighed, pulling her hand away and looking away from me wistfully. “There are still some things I need to consider, but having you in my corner makes me feel a little better.” I reached my own hand out to Morgan, stroking her hair the same way she stroked mine. I guess we really do imitate the things that we see in the way we know they make us feel. Morgan turned back to me, smiling but looking like she was about ready to cry herself. “I’m here for you whenever you need it,” I told her, sincere as I could possibly be. “And I you,” Morgan replied, reminding me who the caretaker was and who was the baby girl. “I love you, big little sister. Sweet dreams.” I blushed as I snuggled deep under my covers as Morgan kissed me on the forehead. “I love you too, little big sister. Thank you for everything.” She closed the door slowly, lingering on one final look of me as her baby girl before she left me to my nap. Because of the lack of sleep the night before and all the excitement of the morning, my dreams found me far more easily this time and with much more happiness. There wasn’t much about the dream, other than Morgan and I were playing in the backyard rolling a ball across to one another. It was so simple, but so comforting. I think it was the first time I thought of my sister as more than someone I was bound to by blood. She was so much more, and I felt so thankful that I was able to see so many sides of my sister this weekend, and made me feel more close to her than I had ever been with her before. The dream did not last long, as the constant sunlight through the blinds made my nap a short but refreshing one. As I got up out of bed I looked around only to see all my supplies were packed in their boxes with a small note that read “Hide them ASAP” I giggled and moved them deep into my closet as I left my room. The basement smelled like lavender, and I guessed Morgan had Febreezed the carpet and the ottoman after my final change. Walking upstairs felt strange without Morgan’s guidance, but I managed as I reached the top. The kitchen and living room were immaculate. Mom and Dad wouldn’t suspect a thing. There was only one thing I noticed that wasn’t taken care of. Twinkle, my Happy Meal toy, was sitting on the corner of the island on top of a folded piece of paper. Lifting her up, I noticed my name was written on the paper in Morgan’s handwriting. Unfolding it, I read what it had to say Dear Holly, I’ll make this short because I really don’t know what else to say at this point that I haven’t already. I meant everything. You are so much more than you think you are. I don’t want you to limit yourself to who you can become, and I won’t limit myself either. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but whatever I do, it will be because I made that choice myself, and I want the same for you. Unlike me though, you don’t have to make a choice. Nobody will ask you to be one thing or be the other. You can be you. You have a freedom I would give the world for right now… Holly, don’t limit yourself and don’t be ashamed of where you are in life. You may have fallen down, but just like any baby girl learning to walk, you should know to get right back up with that big adorable smile of yours. I believe in you, big little sister. I love you. - Morgan I held the letter in my hands for a letter with Twinkle, reading it over and over. In the empty, silent house, alone with nothing but me and all my thoughts, I held Twinkle in between my hands and squeezed them together like a prayer. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but with Morgan by my side, I knew I would find myself someday. The End

I have enjoyed wearing diapers (or just going in my pants) since I was a young kid, but I thought I was just a weirdo and I never told anyone. A few years back I had a partner who admitted to the same fetish, and we had quite a bit of fun together. But we’ve since divorced, and I have never gotten the courage to bring up that subject with my current partner. He’s rather tight-laced and I’m pretty sure this would be a turnoff for him. I have been trying to abstain for over 3 years now. I thought it would be something I could quit if I wanted to, but I’m finding it’s not. I woke up one night recently after a dream that I messed myself, and I haven’t been able to push it to the back of my mind since then. Every time the urge to go hits me, I have to make a decision whether to cave to temptation and risk getting caught in a mess, or to drag my ass to the toilet and do the “adult” thing. Yesterday I almost lost that gamble when he woke up earlier than I expected, just as I was about to let go. How do you hide your activities from housemates and not get caught?

This is a sequel to "Tommy's Tribulations" that can be read here for free: https://www.patreon.com/posts/tommys-complete-26290661 --- After a harrowing day at school Tommy is rescued and brought home. An argument breaks out between Tommy's dad and his step-mother seems to be a good sign for Tommy until a surprise from George threatens to derail all of the young man's hopes. --- This and all my other story updates are available one week earlier than here and other places on my Patreon page. It is thanks to my lovely patrons that I am able to write as much as I do. For $5 patrons can see story updates one week earlier than everyone else whilst $10 patrons get the early access plus access to TWENTY-THREE exclusive stories! There are other tiers and rewards available including free short story commissions, commission discounts and more. https://www.patreon.com/Elfy88 A big thank you to all my patrons: Bojack D, Dannydazzler, Jerry J, Jake F, G M, Max, Tae K, Persi S, Wayne F, Pierry L, Jack S, Coin-Walk3r, Hollowbanana, Whatsnot, Padded Quill, Jeremy C, Joseph B-A, Andy, Frank, James S, Justin C, Fuli, J Onyx, Dre, Pat M, Miss X, PF, Camilo H, Babyjay, Jeffrey G, Martijn de J, Phantom Sonic, Vivi L, Mike S, Dr J, Blipp, Jake W, Brandon G, LuvsSissy, DreaR, Alex B, Malcolm E, Pete W, Cless, Frank S, PatheticABDL, Joshua M, NunyoBC, Kim, S Miller, Britnee L, Tim F, WillNotWill, Orion F, Sterling W, Jens B, Michael, Wet, Scy T, Caneroz, The Dude, Cam, Alex C, Daniel, Robert C, Artemisclydefrog, Raven, Littleb, Scott, Lyra H, ReiofLight, Bask25456, DJKazoo, Cutecurlybabygirl, Kirk H, Mikkel L, Bruce D. Alice W, Bob S, Timothy A W, Erik P, Ben F, Steven H --- It was around twenty minutes that Tommy had to sit in the corner and contemplating things before there was a commotion outside the nurse’s room. Tommy sat up as he heard raised voices and then the door flew open suddenly, Tommy’s father stepped into the room and looked around anxiously. There was a receptionist just behind him who seemed to be trying to calm the man down. “Tommy! Are you OK!?” George ran over to the seat his son was sitting on and knelt down in front of him. He pulled his son into a tight hug, “I came as soon as I heard what happened.” “You’re… Hurting… Me…” Tommy wheezed through the tight embrace as his father pushed against his bruised ribs. It wasn’t very painful but Tommy smiled in relief as his father loosened his grip. “I’m sorry!” George said as he stood back up, “What happened?” Tommy told the story from the previous day when Gary had recorded him at his aunt’s nursery. He only realised how strange this must sound to others when he realised that the receptionist and nurse were sharing some strange looks. “Those bastards…” George muttered, “Excuse my language.” Tommy laughed a little despite the situation and it seemed to lighten the mood a little. The receptionist explained that the video in question had been widely circulated amongst students and staff and most people were aware of it. The staff had been hoping that it wouldn’t cause a problem but it was now clear this was a major incident. “We’re going home, Tommy.” George said after hearing exactly what had happened, “We have a lot to discuss with your mother.” Tommy nodded his head slowly and picked up his bag. He threw it over his shoulder, put the pants his father had brought him on and followed his dad out of the small office. He glanced over his shoulder as he reached the doorway to see Kelly waving at him and smiling, he gave a small wave back as he walked out of the room and towards the car park. The school grounds were almost totally deserted thanks to everyone being in classes. Tommy followed his father to the car and climbed into the backseat, he really wasn’t sure what would happen next but he felt good to be leaving the school behind. It was too stressful here and now that his secret was out it almost felt like enemy territory. He ruefully thought about Erin and the smug satisfaction she would be experiencing at ruining his life. He prayed he wouldn’t have to come back but what alternatives did he have? The car was silent until they pulled up at home. Tommy looked out the window for the whole journey and listened to the radio, it was some boring business talk that his dad seemed to enjoy. When they pulled up at home George turned to look at his son and despite his stony face Tommy could feel the anger his father was feeling bubbling under the surface. “When we get in I want you to go straight upstairs.” George said, “OK?” “Yes, daddy.” Tommy replied as he opened the door. “Don’t call me that.” George continued with an annoyed sigh, “I don’t know why you started that stuff but just call me “dad.” “OK.” Tommy replied with a little smile as he stepped out of the door and waited for his dad. After a few seconds George stepped out and started walking towards the house. Tommy followed as usual and as soon as the door was open he walked up the stairs and into his bedroom. It didn’t take him long to know why he had been sent up there. “This is all your fault!” George’s voice boomed through the house. Tommy had never heard his father shouting like this. “What on Earth are you talking about?” Sandra was yelling back just as loudly. Tommy opened the door and leant against the wooden doorframe to listen. “I’m talking about the reason I had to pick our son up from school because he is being bullied.” George yelled, “I’m talking about the video all the kids watched of my boy in… In a compromising position.” “Anything happening to Tommy is his own fault.” Sandra replied coldly. Tommy slipped out into the landing and then walked down the stairs. He sat down as quietly as possible so he could hear the argument even when the voices died down. “How can you say that when you put him in the position to fail?” George asked angrily. “Everything I’ve done is for his own good.” Sandra replied, “Besides, it wasn’t me that left the country for so long and left him without a father. If you don’t believe I’m a good parent you would never have done it yet alone plan to do it again.” This last sentence seemed to cause a pregnant silence to fill the dining room. “You know this is an opportunity I couldn’t turn down.” George said. His voice had lost conviction and he sounded somewhat unsure of himself, “It’ll change our lives and make a lot of money.” “I know.” Sandra said sounding a lot less belligerent, “And I guarantee you’ll see things differently when you get back.” Tommy had to cover his mouth to stop himself crying out. His dad was planning to leave him here alone with the women again! This was devastating news to Tommy who felt more in need of his dad now than ever before. He understood how important his dad’s career was to him but what about his son! “It’s only two weeks.” George said quietly, “We need to fix this stuff. We can’t go on like this.” “I agree.” Sandra said. Tommy couldn’t see what was happening but he heard a chair in the kitchen scrape against the floor and he assumed his step-mother had walked around the table, “Things have been a little out of control but we can make this right… Together.” Tommy had to stop himself from lunging around the corner of the stairs and screaming at his two guardians. He was especially angry at his father. He couldn’t listen to anymore and he turned to walk back up the stairs and back into his room. He closed the bedroom door slowly and saw his phone was flashing a little notification icon. He picked the cell phone up and swiped to turn it on. It was a text from Rob who was presumably still at school in the afternoon classes. “Dude, what happened?” Rob asked. Tommy threw his phone back down on the bed. He wasn’t inclined to relive the traumatic day’s events and he didn’t really want to talk to Rob especially. He knew none of this was Rob’s fault but he felt bitter that his friend had promised to protect him and then everything had gone wrong. He sat down on his bed and laid backwards so that his feet remained on the floor. No sooner had he closed his eyes then he heard a knock on the door. The door opened a few seconds later despite Tommy not saying anything. He didn’t move from the bed, he didn’t care who it was or what they wanted. Tommy was busy pretending not to exist. “Tommy…” It was George, “We need to talk.” “About what?” Tommy said blankly. He didn’t want his dad to know he had eavesdropped on his conversation. George hovered by the door awkwardly and didn’t know what to say or do. He didn’t know how he could justify another business trip at this time in his son’s life and yet, in the long term, this would be so hugely beneficial to all of them. He had to leave to provide for his family but how do you make a young man who is struggling so badly understand that. “I’m sorry you are going through all of this.” George eventually said, “I really am.” “Not as sorry as me.” Tommy replied with his eyes still closed, “My life is pretty much ruined.” “Don’t say that…” George started saying. “Why not?” Tommy sat up and looked at his father who seemed unable to return his look, “Look at me… Look what’s happened!” “All young guys think their lives are over at some point or other but it’s never true.” George said. “Are you kidding me?” Tommy’s mouth hung open in shock. He had been silent and submissive for so long but he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “This isn’t being rejected by a crush or an embarrassing fart in front of the class!” Tommy stood up and angrily pulled his pants down to his ankles and pointed at his crinkly diaper. It’s pristine and plastic whiteness contrasted heavily with the dark bed clothing behind it. “Look at this!” Tommy hissed, “And everyone knows about it. This isn’t something everyone will forget in a week! This is something that will stick with me forever. How can I ever go back there?” Tommy lifted his shirt a little to show the red area from where he had been hit by Bradley earlier. “This will keep happening as long as everyone knows who and what I am.” Tommy wiped his eyes of tears that he wanted to keep away. He let his shirt drop down as he sat back on the edge of the bed. He was furious and breathing heavily. “Tommy…” George said quietly. “The only allies I have can’t defend me all the time and the one person I really need on my side doesn’t seem to want to do anything.” Tommy looked up at his dad angrily as he sniffed loudly, “He won’t even defend me against those bitches that have done all this.” A silence fell in the room and George wondered if he should just leave Tommy alone. He didn’t know what to do, he had never been good with the emotional side of his relationship with his son and he felt awkward just standing there. He eventually stepped forwards and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Look, I know you say this isn’t you fault but you have to see things from my point of view.” George said quietly, “I can only base things on facts and the fact is I haven’t seen any evidence that Sandra or Erin have done anything to purposefully harm you. Yes things have got out of hand in certain respects but Sandra has promised to calm things down.” “Nothing to harm me!?” Tommy was aghast. Sandra must have some kind of magic spell on her husband, “Have you been paying attention?” “Evidence, Tommy, I need evidence that this is them and not you.” George said, “The nursery thing was unfortunate, but I think that Sandra really thought this was for the best. All the diaper treatment was in response to your needs… Look, Tommy, I’m upset about how all this is going but I’m not sure what you expect me to believe when all the evidence points one way.” “I shouldn’t need to prove anything to you.” Tommy said simply and quietly. Another silence fell in the room. Tommy refused to look at his father and George just awkwardly played with his hands as he looked at the floor. “I’m going away for a couple of weeks.” George eventually said, “For business. I can’t turn this opportunity down and it will make all our lives so much more comfortable going forwards. If you want me to stay I guess I could…” “It’s fine.” Tommy said, “Go.” “Are you sure?” George asked, “If you need me to stay I could. It’ll be difficult but you’re my number one priority.” “Just go.” Tommy said stonily. Tommy felt a lot of bitter feelings towards his father but also knew he couldn’t just give up golden opportunities at work. He felt a little put out that at his hour of need his dad was planning to leave but that was just a case of bad timing. With his dad not believing what he was saying about Erin and the blackmail it didn’t matter whether his dad was there or not really. He was alone, just like Sandra wanted. The blackmail no longer mattered since everyone was now aware of his diapered condition but that was beside the point. Tommy wanted his dad to believe him and to see how horrible the two women were, maybe it would finally help the situation. George stood up and rubbed his son’s hair before leaving the room. Tommy spent the afternoon sulking but he felt he deserved to after his day. As soon as the bedroom door had closed Tommy got his pacifier from his bag and started sucking on it, it provided him some relief from the tension. He never responded to Rob’s text and spent his time playing games on the computer until he was called for dinner. When he went downstairs there was a clear air of tension at the table. Even Erin seemed to have lost her natural air of gloating. Tommy sat on his seat and looked around at the people around the table, none of them were very talkative but as soon as Sandra started eating everyone else joined in. No one said anything as they ate and Tommy was grateful for that because he didn’t want to talk to anyone. It was only when they had finished eating and were putting their cutlery down that someone broke the silence. “Your father and I have been talking about how to handle recent events.” Sandra said as she leaned back in her chair, “Starting tomorrow we’re pulling you out of school. We are going to home school you.” Tommy looked at his father who was still staring at his now empty plate. He didn’t really know what to think. It would be great not going back to the school that was full of people who knew his secret but would being at home with Sandra be any better? “Are you sure?” Tommy asked Sandra, “I just… Is it really the best thing to do?” “Your teachers think you will be bullied if you go back.” George said quietly, “And we can’t arrange a new school place so quickly. This is the best thing to do, at least in the short term. Maybe you can go back to a school for next year.” Tommy nodded his head quietly which prompted Sandra to stand up and start collecting the plates. George got up shortly afterwards and headed upstairs leaving Tommy and Erin alone at the table. “Are you happy?” Tommy said bitterly to the girl who had escalated things to such an extreme level. He stared at her without blinking. “Me?” Erin asked innocently, “I don’t know what you mean.” “You’ve wanted people to know about my diapers from the first day I was wearing them.” Tommy said angrily, “And now, thanks to you, I’ve got to-” Tommy stopped talking as the door opened and Sandra walked back into the room. She was wearing the smile of confidence that she always had when she was around Tommy. Tommy immediately stood up and turned to leave the room before someone found an excuse for him to stay. “Do you need a change?” Sandra asked before Tommy could reach the bottom of the stairs. “No.” Tommy replied simply and without turning to look back. “Stop walking.” Sandra said quickly to stop her step-son in his tracks. Tommy looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes in resignation as he stopped on the bottom step of the stairs. He turned around as Sandra walked over to him, without a word she stuck her hand down to her step-son’s crotch and felt the bulked up padding. She could feel the diaper was wet but it was clearly able to handle a lot more. “Alright, let us know if you need a change.” Sandra said. Tommy rolled his eyes and turned around again as he walked up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door hard and laid down on his bed. It had been a truly dramatic day and when he looked at his phone he was unsurprised to see twenty different notifications from Rob. Tommy didn’t do anything that evening and when Sandra came up to his room to change him for bed he was quite a bit wetter than before. Sandra had brought up a bottle of milk for him and she placed it on the table next to the bed. The usual pre-bedtime diaper change didn’t take long and when Tommy was safely taped up again his step-mother stepped back and looked around the room. She wasn’t really looking for anything as much as just soaking the situation in, Tommy wished she would leave so he could sleep. “Have a good night, baby.” Sandra said as she started to leave, “You need to be up nice and early for school.” Tommy didn’t like the way Sandra said that and as she closed the door behind her he took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. His diaper crinkled as he moved his cover slightly, he hated these things a lot and couldn’t believe how much they were ruining his life. His one hope of salvation was his father and now even he was leaving. When Tommy drifted off to sleep he felt as if things would never get better.

"No no little one you can play pretend all you want but no lying"bethany said stopping her from taking off the dress."lets get you too the play room with the other children"she says taking her to the playroom and setting her down

I think I have a bit of a daddy-streak in me and my fantasy is definitely a bit more vanilla than these others. I want to meet a woman in 20s/30s who is small/petite enough to fit baby diapers and goodnites. I'd put her in a pampers baby dry 6 or cruisers size 7, with a goodnite over it, and sit her on the couch to play games or watch TV, and tell her she's not allowed to get off the couch under any circumstances. Then I'd bring her iced tea after iced tea, with the occasional beer, and snacks of course, and I'd force her to drink them all til the diapers were overflowing with pee, totally drenched, her sitting in a puddle basically. Then I'd take her in back and we would bang, then I'd change her, use baby wipes, use powder and oil, put her in a fresh diaper. Then I'd masturbate with her used diapers. That, or like another guy said, just train my wife to be completely reliant on diapers when at home. No using the toilet ever.

Update from the Author. Don't worry everyone, I am still alive and well. I still plan on continuing this story, despite all these setbacks. A lot has changed in my life so I have been very busy. On the 11th of October, I was a car accident. It was about 2130 central time and long story short, I was hit in the front fender and spun 180 into the grass. My car, a 1989 Wagoneer, was totalled. But I made it out safely and with no injuries. With the update out of the way, the next post y'all should see from me will be chapter 11. I will try my best to complete it soon! Buh bye!

The world came back into focus again like it had every other time and I bolted upright. "Subject altered..." was a very scary set of words to hear, especially since (I assumed) I was the subject in question! I looked down at my body and was slightly dismayed to see I was still wearing a diaper but at the moment I had more pressing concerns. I examined every visible part of my body and was relieved to find there didn't seem to be a hair out of place. I tested my arms and legs, turned my head both directions, flexed my hands, bent my knees... everything was in perfect working order. I never really had any expectation that they would have been changed as they had no bearing on what the voice seemed to call my "noncompliance." Finally, everything else having been tested, I opened my mouth and said "Testing, testing, does my voice work?" Everything seemed perfectly normal there too. "I guess it was just trying to scare me." I rationalized. Free of any worry about my body, I decided to try forcing another reset. All I had to do was say... words... right? Wait, which words were they again? What was special about them? I tried desperately to remember but was coming up completely blank. Ok, fine, all I had to do was remember the exact words I had said before and say them again. I thought and thought and finally a vague memory came to me. I remembered screaming really loud "Fu-" but the memory wasn't complete. It didn't matter though, as there's only one important word that sounds like that! I stood up, tilted my head back and proudly shouted "FUN!" I stood, silent, waiting... that worked before right? Why is nothing happening? Oh, right, it was the OTHER F-u- word... "FUNNY!" Nothing was working and I had no idea why. Wait... There was another word! A toilet word! That's it- that's the word I need! "PEE PEE!" Nothing happened. No freeze, no strange sounds, no odd feelings. Nothing. At first. As I was about to try another word I heard something I hadn't heard since I had been here. Straining to listen I could distinctly make out the sound of footsteps outside the door. They got closer and closer until whatever they belonged to stood right outside the door. As the knob turned I heard a woman's voice say "Did someone have an accident?" At that moment, everything froze again. As I stood there, waiting for blackness to consume me once more, I heard the mechanical voice again. CYCLE C1 PHASE 1 SUCCESSFUL. CONTINUING CYCLE C1. DATA SAVED.

Sex and diaper Most guys have no interest in diapers after they cum

I took me some time around everything but here it is. Awakenings: Day 1: Part 4 Later on in the day after her meeting and a quick return to the dorm to change her nappy and a couple of other welcome week activities. Rachel back in her dorm is sat on her bed in just a top and her nappy watching Netflix off her laptop killing time, when her phone buzzes. She pauses her show and checks it. (Hey Rachel how did the meeting go?) The message read it was from Sophie who she met earlier in the day. (Oh hey it was fine I was able to get what I needed from it.) Rachel responds coyly not wanting to give away the meeting was about her nappies and incontinence and how she can change on campus. (That's good then! So do you want to come get some food with me in a bit?) Rachel pauses for a moment and looks down at her nappy, it's wet she knew that much but what she must of tuned out while watching TV was she messed her nappy as well. (I am gonna need a moment to do something first give me like half an hour.) (Okay sure meet me in the mall.) Sophie responds before disappearing offline. "Well time now for a new nappy." Rachel says to herself walking over to her nappy collection. Rachel always hated cleaning up from messing herself but it was part of her choice years back and she was happy with her choice and was determined to never go backwards and and after so many years she can't even if she wanted to. She was now stuck like this and so happy she is. Once Rachel finished cleaning herself up she put on some fairly nice clothes for the night. A long black dress with white frills around the neck, formal looking but not super serious like something she’d wear to a wedding or a funeral or something. The dress was long enough that it hid her nappies with ease. Satisfied she messaged her friend she was on her way. Rachel walks through a semi busy shopping mall over towards the food court looking for her new friend. She spots Sophie standing around some decorative potted trees. “Wow Rachel you look amazing. That dress is so cute.” “Thanks Sophie, so where were you thinking for food?” Sophie looks around then eyes up an american dinner themed place. “How about over there?” Sophie points to the place. “Looks good to me.” The two of them head over to the restaurant making their way through the crowd. end of part four: yes it's short that's down to my issues with dyslexia and dyspraxia. This is the fourth part of an arch that will last 5-6 parts all about Rachel's first day at university.

I'm from the U.K. and receive a support package. Although my support provider knows I wear incontinence nappies (They have been instrumental in bringing my pads and wipes to hospital when I have been involuntarily hospitalised and they have purchased me nappies when I have asked them too) I haven't brought up that I'm wearing nappies because I like too. That is my business. I think if they knew I chose to wear nappies the support management wouldn't care. That is my personal choose... I do think some of the front line support staff, if they knew they would gossip about me. The staff think I have incontinence issues and its not a problem.. I live in a shared house with other people with disabilities and ofter wear tight pyjamas with thick nappies, you can clearly see I'm wearing a nappy and nobody says anything about it, they are respectful. They bring my nappies packages in for me. I don't flaunt wearing just that I'm comfortable, I don't openly talk about it. I'm happy with my situation....

I want to see Amanda back in diapers? Okay, I know it won't happen, but I haven't left a comment in a while so I had to let you know I'm still a fan of this and other stories of yours.

Chapter 5: The rest of the week came by in a flash, Eva hadn't had any more problems or run ins with Ms.Harper which was good thing for her sake. Eva woke up hearing her alarm going off on her phone as she rolled over clicking it off knowing it was finally Friday. The great thing about Friday was the children were released at noon which meant Eva was about to go home and get started on her weekends as baby Eva. She let the rails down on the crib quickly noticing she had wet the diaper between her legs, but ever since the picture day she had been wearing them to school knowing the mothers didn't bat an eye at her dressing this way. She pulled on the diaper noticing it could take more before being changed and decided to just keep it on and change out of it later. She walked into the closet trying to find something to wear today and decided to go with the schools uniform which made her seem some what more adult like then wearing one of the baby dresses or onesies. After getting the dress pulled over Eva pulled on a frilly pair of socks and the mary jane shoes to match the outfit and walked over to her mirror to see herself. She looked at herself in the mirror noticing she continued to look more infantile as each day passed and it probably didn't help the fact her diapers read the words "Infant in training" on the front either. After giving herself a once over Eva grabbed her new diaper bag off the top of the changing table ready for another day at school. When she arrived at the school she noticed she still had time before the parents would start arriving and headed straight for the classroom. As Eva entered her classroom she walked over to a cubby that had her assigned name written on it and placed her diaper bag inside. After placing the diaper bag down Eva turned around to see once again her classroom had changed and a new item had arrived. Eva walked over to where her desk wants was, but now in it's place was a large bassinet. Eva grabbed a chair and placed it next to the new piece of equipment wanting to get a better look at it wondering how it worked. After getting the chair setup she stood on top looking inside to see it could very easily fit a large adult. Eva wasn't paying any form of attention not even hearing anybody come inside as she froze feeling a hand pulling up the back of her dress making it way inside the back of her diaper. Eva quickly turned to see Ms.Martin standing there with a confused look saying "I thought I didn't have a baby watching over my child, but it looks like I was wrong, your nothing but a little baby yourself" as Eva blushed from the comments as Ms.Martin picked her up and carried her to the changing table. Eva tried to explain the situation, but before she had a word out of her mouth the mother had placed one of the inflating pacifiers inside. Ms.Martin made quick work of stripping Eva out of her outfit leaving her completely naked on top of the changing table deciding what to put the teacher in. She walked into the changing closet pulling out a school designed onesie,bonnet,booties, and mittens. Eva watched Ms.Martin walking over to her showing what she was about to be put in as the woman spoke saying "how about we get the little baby all dressed." Ms.Martin continued to laugh at the blushing baby putting her in a double diaper and the clothing she had pulled from the closet. After getting Eva dressed she placed her inside the playpen telling her "these diapers should last you all day baby" as Eva blushed watching the mother walk out the door. Eva tried to pull the inflated pacifier out of her mouth, but found the mittens restricted her from doing so knowing she was stuck. She felt like it had been forever before the mothers walked inside and looked around for Eva. Ms.Jensen couldn't help herself laughing when they found Eva in the playpen dressed more like she should be in the daycare helping her hand's free from the mittens as Eva tried to get herself out of the problem telling them "I think I tried to be too much of a baby" as the mothers gave her a pat on the diaper telling her "take care of our babies" as Eva watched them walk out the door. As Eva closed the door she turned around hearing the sound of one of her charges crying she waddled her way over to the crib seeing baby Danni bawling her eye's after giving her diaper a check she began to realize she was probably hungry and decided it was probably best to get the babies a bottle. Eva walked to the small fridge in the corner grabbing 4 baby bottles out one for each child and herself. She waddled her way back to the cribs now hearing all 3 charges crying knowing she needed to get them fed quickly. After giving all 3 of them there bottles Eva waddled over to the playpen and hopped inside. She grabbed a pillow and placed her head and then slid the nipple inside of her mouth and began to suck the milk down. Eva noticed another change, she looked up to see her room now had a giant spinning mobile attached to the ceiling as she asked herself if that had been there all year. Eva continued to drink the milk down when she felt a sudden problem, her stomach felt like it was going to explode. She placed one hand on her stomach and the other on her diapered backside knowing she didn't need this to happen. She hopped back over the playpen wall practically running to her cubby wondering if she should ask Ms.Harper to watch the children, but began thinking how was she going to explain the way she was dressed, but it didn't matter before she could grab her badge from her purse it was too late. Eva was now crouching her legs feeling her bowels beginning to betray her as a mess exited her backside. She felt the back of her diaper beginning to get heavier and heavier as she pushed it all out. She was so embarrassed and just wanted to get changed and began pulling at the snaps on the onesie revealing the brown messie diaper. She felt hand's beginning to pick her up trying to figure out who had found her this way as she noticed she was being carried over to the changing table. She was quickly strapped on top of it and looked up as her eye's locked with Chauncey's. Eva quickly tried to explain saying "let me explain!", but before she could get another word out she had one of the inflatable pacifiers placed inside of her mouth. She watched as Chauncey untaped the soiled diaper from around her waist and picked up a clean diaper from under the changing table and made quick work of getting her nice and dry. Eva was so embarrassed by the situation trying to figure out what she was going to tell her friend as she watched Chauncey pulling the tapes to the middle of the diaper and grabbing the pacifier out of her mouth telling her "you have 5 seconds to explain to me why I found you in a messy diaper!" Eva nervously began to speak telling her "I decided to dress more babyish for the students and when I suddenly had to go I found I couldn't remove the diaper on my own I had no choice but to use it." Chauncey began to giggle telling her "I noticed you were wearing one of the infant diapers and I know about the extra strength tapes" as Eva watched her friend giggle at her. Eva nodded her head asking "what are you doing here today?" as Chauncey spoke telling her "I am starting a ride and pick up program for the children and I got out of class early and decide to come in a little earlier to check on the class to see if you needed help" as Eva watched her assistant still giggling the way she found her saying "thanks for that" as Chauncey patted her bottom telling her "what are friends for". Eva stared up watching as Chauncey walked back into the classroom with a four seat stroller. She continued to smile thinking it was probably a good idea she had found her and nobody else. She really liked Chauncey, but she didn't want anybody to ever find out that she liked being a baby especially Chauncey. She watched as her assistant began loading the children inside of the 4 seat stroller strapping them inside knowing it was finally the end of the day. After getting the children strapped inside Chauncey smiled over at Eva asking "do you want a ride?" as Eva shook her head saying "thanks anyway" and began to get an idea. Eva began to ponder the idea watching as Chauncey walked out the classroom as Eva screamed "Chauncey". Chauncey stopped the stroller seeing Eva asking "is there something wrong?" as Eva smiled shaking her head asking "would you like to come over tonight and hang out?" as Chauncey smiled saying "I would love that!" as Eva smiled saying "great let me write my address down and I will see you later" as Eva reached for a sticky note, but was cut off by Chauncey saying "I know this probably sounds odd, but I already have your address for some reason, when the children pick ups came out your address was with them" as Eva nervously spoke saying "that's odd, well I guess I will see you tonight" as Chauncey smiled saying "of course." Eva began to giggle like a school girl thinking to herself for once she had finally made a friend that she really liked and instantly remembered one problem. She had a house full of nursery furniture in her house and needed to hide it. She quickly grabbed her bag, shutting off the lights, and closing the door before running towards her car.

Im currently using a samsung galaxy J3 2016, which is a 8MP rear camera and 5MP face camera. im running android 7.0, i never updated it and it just spews a "time to update" msg every so often which i ignore. the new program i downloaded from the playstore is - "open camera" and i chose this one because no ads or in app purchases, thats a big thing for me.

I'm not in diapers 24/7 because my Daddy had me try it and I really didn't like it. I found it got hot, irritating and in general was unpleasant. I also prefer not to wet my diapers, I just dont like the feeling at all. As for "if you have a kink jump in and make a commitment", well, I don't have to and it doesn't make me any better or any worse. Having a kink doesn't mean you have to indulge it 24/7, that's potentially unhealthy behaviour. Some people enjoy 24/7 wearing and others don't, how about not judging people for living their own life in the way that makes the most sense for THEM, just a thought. Little kaiya

Accidental Little is an interesting concept in Diaper Dimension which I haven't seen before. I look forward to see how the story goes. I don't quite understand why Luke accepts using a diaper when at home. Instead of going to the bathroom to use it and then change himself, it would be easier and more comfortable for him to just use some kind of container or potty which could be placed in the bathroom. --bje

Thanks for posting these very thoughtful and articulate videos. I found myself described within them in several of your points. Although I've been an active DL for only a few years, I still got the feeling of relief that I'm not alone.

Very nice videos, mindlessly diapered has some good ones too. Between her and you Rylie you both are helping the community thanks

Riley, What a great video. I completely agree with your analysis and insight. You are very articulate and your presentation was well thought out and organized.

Mmm, I feel like some guy doing the late night shift on an obscure pirate radio station: is there actually anybody out there reading this or should I switch off the transmitter? I'm not looking for validation, more just to check that I'm not broadcasting into dead air.

Disclaimer on the author: My education did not go past high school and I got through English with a C-, so I apologize for all the issues such as long paragraphs run-on sentences, change of tenses, not enough semicolons, too many commas, sentence structure, and the other things that may annoy the more educated that I do not notice. Day 2 Sunday (Part II) I was laying down naked as she removed a fresh pink princess diaper from the package. She lifted my legs and slid the diaper underneath me. She powdered my freshly shaved area. I could feel every sprinkle of the powder as it touched my skin. I was shocked by how sensitive my freshly shaved area was. She pulled the diaper up and securely taped me. “Today I thought you could wear a cute little baby dress.” Baby dress? I could guess by the name what it was. When she pulled it out, even though I had an idea of what it was, I was still taken aback. It was indeed a baby dress. It was pink, the elastic band was so high up, it was mostly dress, and the shoulders puffed out slightly. I lifted my arms up so she could slide it on. “Good sissy, now stand up. I want to see how this looks on you.” I stood up and the dress hung down. The elastic was so high up on the dress, and it flared out from there. She smoothed it out and took a step back. She smiled gleefully, “Ohh how precious. Your diaper even peaks out from under. Turn around sissy, let me see you.” Slouching a little out of resignation I turned around. “Stand up straight sissy. You should have good posture.” I straightened myself up. My back was to her, she laughed, “That diaper sticks out a lot more from the back. Not that it really matters. Anyone who saw you like that I doubt would be too shocked to see a diaper underneath.” I finished my turn and was facing her. “Give me a curtsy sissy.” I stood dumbfounded. I was trying to remember what that was. “Come on sissy, grab your dress by the side, lift it, and give me a little dip.” I grabbed the dress by the side with my whole hand, pulled it almost all the way up as I slid a leg slightly behind me and bowed a little. She cracked up at this. It took her a moment to contain herself, “That had to have been the worst curtsy I have ever seen. Show some modesty. You will have to work on that some other time. I am going to shower and get changed. While I am doing that, you are going to serve out your punishment for breaking a rule early this morning.” Punishment? I thought. Wasn’t my bruised ass punishment? “And yes, you still haven’t been punished for this morning. That spanking was for making me mad.” We went to the breakfast nook where she placed a pen and notebook on the table. “You are going to write 100 times ‘I will not talk without permission.’ Hopefully after that you will not forget that rule.” She opened the notepad and wrote at the top in elegant handwriting ‘I will not talk without permission.’ She grabbed a hard wooden chair for me to sit on. “I want you to sit here and I want you to grip the pen with all your fingers like a baby.” I sat on the hard wooden chair, cringing in pain from the hard surface on my tender ass. She set a bottle of juice on the table “Here’s your baba if you get thirsty, you have a fresh diaper, so you have no reason to get out of that chair until all 100 lines are written.” She left and I heard the shower go. I gripped the pen like a joystick and started writing ‘1. I will not talk without permission.’ I couldn’t believe how sloppy and big my letters were writing like this. The sentence looked like it was written by a child. When I got to the word ‘permission' I had to go to a new line down. It also took way longer than I would have thought to write one line. This was going to take awhile. ‘2. I will not talk without permission' After a couple sentences I had to shift a little in the chair, it was so uncomfortable and every time I moved my tender ass would be in pain. ‘17. I will not talk without permission.’ She came back into the room dressed casually, “how’s it coming along sissy,” I didn’t even realize she finished the shower. She looked over my shoulder. “17, not that far along. Looks like you’ll be here for some time. Be sure to drink your baba, I don’t want you dehydrated. When I come back in here that had better be mostly empty.” I picked up the bottle and drank from it as I continued writing, ‘18. I wil not talk wihout permission.’ At line 36 I had gone through several pages, the bottle was empty, and my bladder was full. I was holding my bladder for a little bit, but at line 39 I realized that it was pointless. I’m sure as fuck not going to ask her, saying a few words is why my ass and bruised and I’m having to write a hundred lines. And she basically told me before she took her shower that she expects me to use this diaper. I tried to relax and let go, but decades of training not to piss myself doesn’t break in a day. I closed my eyes and imagined I was sitting on a toilet and I was sitting to pee. I felt a little bit of my hot piss escape, and reflexively I quit going. It was shocking to feel it like this. All the other times I have wet a diaper I was on my hands and knees. I moved around a little in the chair, being cautious of my tender ass. I tried relaxing my muscles again, eventually another squirt came out, a little bit longer of one this time. Then my muscles relaxed and I could feel a steady stream flowing. I finished line 39, and was on line 40. I could feel the diaper expand between my legs as I wrote ‘40. I wll not tak without permson.’ My inner thighs were getting warmer, I could feel the warmth of the pee through the diaper on my legs. The pee was spreading around the diaper, I could feel it drip down my taint and on my ass, every part of my freshly shaved crotch and ass felt like it had piss on it. In the middle of line 41 my bladder was empty and the diaper was full and starting to get cold. Only a moment ago it was hot and now it is getting cold and clammy. At line 51 I noticed my handwriting had decreased significantly, the letters were getting shaky, and the handwriting was looking even more juvenile. I was also getting hungry. Did she even think of how long this was going to take? If she did I doubt she even cared. At line 55 I heard the door close and Kim coming in. When did she leave? How long was she gone for? “Hey sissy, are you finished with your lines yet?” She looked over my shoulder, “Just over halfway. What’s taking you so long?” She came back with a bottle of juice, “Here’s a fresh bottle for you. You keep working on that, and when you’re finished I’ll feed you some lunch.” She left and I heard the television faintly in the other room. I picked up the fresh bottle to drink, and I went back to work on writing these lines. ‘56. I will not talk without permision.’ At line 75 the bottle mostly empty, and I could feel the need to pee again. Already in a soggy diaper I didn’t care about trying to hold it in. I tried to just let it go, but like before my body isn’t used to going in a diaper. I had to stop writing and focus on trying to relax and peeing. It went through the same process as before. I had to imagine myself sitting on a toilet, eventually some came out, but as soon as I felt it, instinctively I quit going again. I relaxed again until I felt a steady stream flow out. This time I didn’t have to readjust in the chair. I went back to line 75 as I felt the diaper warm up again. The warmth did feel nice compared to the coldness I have been sitting in. The diaper expanded a little bit more between my legs. Kim walked in for a moment while I was pissing myself, and she looked at me writing my lines with my head down. I don’t think she realized that I was pissing myself, I’m pretty sure she was checking to see if I was working or not, because she was only there for a couple seconds before she walked out. The diaper was so thick now I could no longer get my knees to squeeze together. Unfortunately the warmth didn’t last and by line 79 the diaper was back to being cold and soggy. I was getting to line 84 and my arm and wrist really started cramping up. I had been at this for hours now, and i was so close to being finished. I’m not even sure how long at this point. My arm and wrist is tired, my eyes are sore and my vision is blurring from staring down at this for so long, I’ve been hungry sense line 51 which has only gotten worse, though the pain has subsided some from the spanking my ass still hurt, and in a cold, soggy, and full diaper. I don’t remember the last time I was ever this uncomfortable all at once. She walked in for a moment again when I was at line 88. Down to 12 lines, so close to the finish. I put the bottle down, and without really thinking I put the pacifier back in my mouth. I picked up the pace, rushing my way to the last line. ‘91. I willl not take without permison.’ My handwriting was getting worse, it was legible, but less and less, it was looking more and more like scribbles, but the letters could be made out. ‘95. I wlll notalk without permission.’ I was biting down on the pacifier as I intentently while writing these last lines. Finally, ‘100. I will not talk without permission.’ I sat back in the chair, let out a long exhale, I tried to drop my pen, but my hand cramped from gripping the pen with my whole hand for so long. I slowly relaxed and the pen dropped to the table. I cannot believe I wrote ‘I will not talk without permission.’ 100 times. That was torture, but I am done with it. My eyes tired and sore, closed on their own and I think I dozed off for a couple minutes. I quickly opened them as I heard heard Kim speak, “Are you done? Did you write all 100 lines?” I was opening my mouth to say yes almost automatically, but the pacifier in my mouth reminded me not to speak, and I nodded my head instead. I didn’t know if that would have counted as permission, but I wasn’t taking any risks. “Very good. Let’s take a look.” My stomach growled fairly loud as she grabbed the notebook. “I know you must be hungry, it is a little late for lunch, so I’ll get you something small to eat. I don’t want to ruin your dinner. She looked down at the last page of my writing and exclaimed, “What the hell is this?” I looked at her confused and dumbfounded. That was 100 lines of ‘I will not talk without permission.’ written over I don’t know how many pages over the last I don’t know how many hours. She put the notebook back on the table in front of me for me to look at. “I told you to write ‘I will not talk without permission.’ yet the first thing I read is ‘I wlll notalk without permission.’” She sounded the words ‘wlll’ and ‘notalk’as they were written. “What’s ‘wlll’ or ‘notalk’? They aren’t words I’m familiar with. Are those your little baby words?” She cooed at me as she said it. “They may be your words, but they weren’t the words I asked for. You are going to go through this, and for every line that you did incorrectly, you will rewrite it 3 times. So that line 95 I am looking at, you will have to write that line 3 more times, only this time correctly.” Looking at my expression and my demeanor she said, “Don’t pout, I will not accept half-ass work from you. If I tell you to do something I expect it to be done as I told you to do it. Now sit here and go through this. Find all the lines you misspelled while I fix you something to eat. After you eat you can rewrite the wrong lines.” This is insane!! I have written ‘I will not talk without permission.’ 100 times already. So what if some of them were misspelled, it’s done, all 100. And it wasn’t like I was doing it on purpose, it’s human error. This is ridiculous! I felt like crying again, I was so exhausted, tired, hungry, sitting in a cold and soggy diaper. I wanted food, I wanted sleep, and I wanted out of this diaper. Is this how babies are always feeling? No wonder they are always crying. I want to cry right now from all of this, though babies get to sleep, they don’t have to write down how they won’t talk without permission 100 times. At least she was bringing me some food to eat before I have to write again. I went through the 100 lines and marked every line that was misspelled. Found my first on at line 18, so that’s a total of 6 now including line 95. Next one was at 40, and I sighed and added another 3 in my head. Half way through the list and I’ve misspelled 3, so at this rate I’ll have and extra 18 lines to write. I sighed heavily at the thought of writing another 18 lines. Next line I found was at 56, then line 63, each time adding another 3, now at 15 additional lines. I was getting worried that it was going to be more than 18 lines. I didn’t come across anything misspelled for a while, and was thinking, maybe I’ll only have to write 15 more lines, sucks, but better than 18. Then I got to line 88, and that brought my count to 18. Line 91 was misspelled, and so was 94 and 98. Another 3 each, so 21, 24, 27. I have to write 27 additional lines!?! Now I really did want to cry! Kim walked in with some food and saw my face, “Why so pouty sissy? Did you mess up a lot?” She giggled. She set a small plate of french fries in front of me without any dipping sauce. “Eat some papas, it’ll make you feel better.” I spit out the binkie and it hung down from the clip. I grabbed a handful of fries and stuffed them in my face. I was so hungry and she didn’t have enough to fill me up, be it was enough to bring my discomfort down. I finished the fries in maybe a minute. “You were hungry, that should hold you over until you rewrite those lines. After you finish you can have dinner. I’ll get you a fresh bottle.” I didn’t even realize the bottle was empty. She cleared the table and came back with another bottle, only filled with water this time. I took the pen back in my hand, gripping with all four fingers and thumb, I wrote ‘18. I will not talk without permission.” I do this 3 more times, carefully making sure I do not misspell a word. This was taking a little bit longer, but not by too much. I misspelled the word ‘will’ again on my second rewrite of line 40. I scratched the whole line out and started the line over underneath. I did this again when I misspelled the word ‘permission’ on my first rewrite of line 88. This had already taken at least an hour. My hands, wrists, and arms were so cramped from all of this writing, the letters were now all shaky. On my third time rewriting line 94 I had to pee again, my bladder wasn’t completely full, but I did feel the need to go. So as before I relaxed until I could get a steady flow going. I continued writing, until I felt some wetness between my thigh and the chair. I wasn’t sure at first what was going on and stopped my flow. I looked down, and noticed a couple little drops of my pee on the chair. Was the diaper leaking? I never thought of these things leaking, but I guess they would only be able to hold so much and this was pretty saturated from before. I still had to go, and was trying to decide what to do. If I continue peeing this will leak out and get everywhere. A smile crept across my face as I thought about this. If I pee and it gets everywhere, that’s not my fault. I want to use the toilet, she’s the one that’s making me do this. This is actually her fault. I relaxed again until the stream continued. I smiled as I felt it leak on the chair, and down my leg, and dripped on the tile floor. If only this ridiculous dress was shorter it would have gotten on that too, that’s a shame. I was finishing up on rewriting line 98 when Kim walked in. She saw the little puddle on the floor under me and became infuriated. Pointing at the puddle she yelled “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” I wanted to smile, but I was too frightened of her at this moment. I put my head down not wanting to look at her, her eyes were so angry. She yanked me up by the wrists so forcefully I was up on my feet, and she slapped my bare thigh with her hand before my feet touched the ground. The slap hit on my already bruised area, and it stung more from the wetness on the bareskin. I yelped at little from the impact. She sat down in a different chair took the diaper off of me while I was standing in front of her. It fell heavy on to the tile floor. She put me back over her lap and spanked my already sore and bruised ass. I was being spanked for the second time today. She was yelling at me as she was rapidly spanking my ass, “How could you not tell me you needed a change you little sissy? Do you like being in a pissed soaked diaper?” Each slap stinging more and more on my already tender bottom. The pacifier fell out of my mouth on one of the slaps. It was swinging with each subsequent spank. “When you need a diaper change you are to cry to tell me! Not let it leak on the floor!” It felt like she was hitting harder and harder with each slap. The pain became too much I was screaming from every slap, tears were streaming down my face. I was crying and screaming as she spanked me. This time I was crying from the pain alone. I wasn’t even thinking about how I looked or any of the embarrassment I endured. I was crying from the pain, it hurt soo much. My ass was already bruised and tender before, and it was wet and cold from sitting in a piss soaked diaper for hours. I wanted her to stop. “Crying like that you little sissy!” She exclaimed with a final hard slap. She stood me back up. Wearing only the pink baby dress, my ass was exposed now that I’m not wearing a diaper. The cool air was causing my dick to shrivel and hidden behind the baby dress.. I was in pain and found it difficult to stand. I slowly lowered myself down on the floor keeping my butt off the tile. The pain went down and my tears finally subsided. She had me lay on the floor with my head near my piss puddle while she put a fresh diaper on me. Not on the puddle, but close enough to worry some might get on me. I could smell the piss as she was putting the fresh diaper on me. She said, “You didn’t break any of the rules, so you won’t be punished. That spanking was for making me mad. Don’t do anything to piss me off and you won’t have a bruised bottom.’ When she was done she brought me a paper towel and some cleaning spray. “Clean up your mess and finish writing your lines. Your dinner is ready, come to the dining room when you finish.” I took the paper towel and cleaning spray, on my hands and knees cleaned my piss off the floor and the chair.

Here's the wall you looking for trump,lol...xD

I wet my diaper in any position, but normally sitting or standing. I can poop in any position, but normally standing and sometimes on all four (hands & knees).

So I recently built this for someone on here. It turned out PERFECT. It stands 52 inches tall, holds well over 300 pounds, fits up to a 52 inch waist and is made from solid beech, nothing weak or cheap. I plane and cut all the lumber myself and polish it to last for a long time! I can do other woods as well. If you're interested in one, I build, complete and ship within 2 weeks of your order. They are not super pricey either! Most builds are within 5-600 dollars. Other items are available as well. Take a look! https://stuckinadiaperedworld.tumblr.com/post/172881980168/handmade-adult-high-chair-i-did-from-scratch

Everyone has their own preferences for the punishments they like the best. For me, time out and not being allowed to talk are my favorite punishments because they make me feel super little and I'm supper talkative, so being stuck with a pacifier and not being allowed to speak for 25 or 30 minutes is pure torture.

My gf feeds me a huge meal so I really need to poo, then puts me in spreaders and mittens and lies me on my back. I can’t roll in any way so have to sit there in my poop for up to an hour, while she comes in every 5-10 minutes and baby-talks to me. Then, she changes me, spanks me, puts me in a really thick diaper or multiple diapers, puts the spreader pants on, leaves me at the end of our garden and let’s me waddle back, as I pee myself on the way.

CHAPTER 2 The vehicle I saw before me was like nothing I have ever seen before. The body was sharp and sleek, and it sat low to the ground. The tires looked of a compound I didn't recognize, but they looked like they could grip the road better than anything I had. Just then, the car's lights came on in a low beam and it spoke. "Hello Ms. Tesla. Are we going out tonight?" "Not tonight, Forza. I'm getting little Danny here settled into the house tonight. We will head out tomorrow." She responded as I just looked at them both in awe. "Yes Ms. Tesla." The car apparently named Forza said before the lights turned back off. Then Alex looked at me and smiled. "What do you think?" I stared at her for a moment, trying to comprehend it. "It's so cool! And it looks so good!" Then I started giggling slightly as I put something together in my mind that I hadn't thought of in my moment of awe. "You named it Forza? Really?" "What's wrong with it?" She asked, puzzled. I giggle some more. "Oh nothing. Hehe. That just happens to be the name of a series of major racing video games back home." She smiled then and chuckled. "Well ain't that a coincidence." Then she carried me back into the house and sat back onto the couch before sitting me on her lap. "So I need to lay down some rules of the house before we get the cutie in bed." She squeezed my cheek then and I blushed. "First one I already know you aren't fond of, and that's those diapers." She said, pointing to my crotch. "They are required." I stared at her like she was a three headed dragon. "So this isn't some sick joke then?" "I'm afraid not sweetie." She said, shaking her head. "It would be easier on us both to just change your diapers than to always have to pick up and place you on the potty each time you needed to go." I cringed thinking about wearing diapers again. I remember being late in my potty training and I was very glad to have finally rid myself of pull ups. To go all the way back to diapers felt like a major loss in my book. However, to constantly have to ask for help each time I needed the potty did sound like a lot of work. "I guess you're right..." I finally said, lowering my head. She smiled softly and caressed my cheek before continuing. "Second rule is no profanity. I know that sometimes a cuss word slips through when working on a car, but I want you to try and hold back as much as possible." I twiddled my fingers some, knowing full well that I might have well been a sailor for the Navy with how often I cursed. "Okay Alex, I'll try my best." "Good. That leads me to the next rule. From now on, I am mommy. No ma'am, Alex, Ms. Tesla or anything. Just mommy, okay?" She said with a serious look. "Whatever for? You're not my mom." I said, thoroughly confused. "No I am not your mom. I am your mommy." She then went into explaining the world and it's society, How most Amazon's treat littles, and other things. "I promise I will not turn you into some dumb baby, but you will be my little baby girl." I sat there, absolutely horrified about this dimension. More than half of what the Amazon's do would be illegal in our dimension. I was just glad that Alex seemed to be better than most, according to her of course. "Alright I guess... Nothing I can do really. It's not like I can go back home..." I said, looking down at nothing in particular. "Oh sweetie, don't think like that." She said as she pulled me into a soft embrace. "I promise I will do my very best at making this a warm home for you." I didn't say anything as she rubbed my back gently with her giant hand. After a moment, she say me back into her lap and continued. "You are more than welcomed to work on your car when you have nothing else to do, but when I say to stop, you stop. No ifs, ands, or buts about it." She said before smiling. "Of course you got lucky that I love cars just as much as you do. So I doubt we will really have an issue there." "I doubt it!" I smiled some. She got really stern just then. "Just as long as you NEVER touch Forza without me being there. He has state of the art technology that you haven't learned about yet so I don't want you messing him up." I felt stung but I understood. I definitely hated when someone back home would touch my charger. "Lastly, we have longer days in this dimension and your little bodies need more sleep because of it. So you'll be sleeping earlier than you're probably used to." I sighed, but nodded. "Understandable." "Okay little one. Let's get you dressed for bed. We have a big day tomorrow." She said before standing me up and placing me on her hip. We walked down a hallway and into the room I woke up in. There was a changing table next to the crib and she set me down onto it. She then started removing the onesie thing I was in and untaped the wet diaper and removed it. I blushed heavily and tried to cover my lady bits but she pushed my hands away. "Princess, you're going to have to get used to me cleaning you and changing you." She said before wiping me clean and putting a new diaper on me. This one was thick, pink, and embarrassing. "My dad would have a laughing fit if he saw me like this..." I said, poking the diaper. "Well I think you're so adorable! Come on princess, let's get your jammies on and in bed." Alex said as she went to the closet and grabbed a pink romper that said "Mommy's princess" on it. I groaned but didn't complain as she put it on me. Then she sat me down in the crib and gave me a bottle of what looked like warm milk. "Alright, goodnight sweetie." She said before turning the mobile above my head on and then the light as she left. I sat there for awhile just thinking about everything that happened today. I had started the day late like I normally do because I stay up so late with the charger. And by night time, I'm living in a world made for giants and I'm wearing a diaper. "At least I still have my car." I said aloud before drinking the bottle. I didn't remember finishing it before I was out like a light.