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For the Cloth Diaper Lovers and their Panties of choice.
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By Kitty Angel · Posted
Good to have you Are you reading both stories, or just this one? I'd be interested to hear how someone's opinion of Gabby (and theories about the stuff she doesn't know) develops if you're only seeing one side of the story. 42. My Next Steps Tess was already awake when we got downstairs, and had sorted out her own breakfast. It wasn’t quite as much effort as I would normally have put in; she had found cereal in the cupboard and poured herself a bowl. But the rich scent of Ffrances’s favourite coffee filled the air, and there were two mugs of steaming joe standing on the side. I was going to say thank you, but then hesitated as something else struck me. Tess was happy; there must be a song stuck in her head, because one finger was moving in the air like she was conducting an invisible orchestra, and she might just have been singing along. Happy and carefree, I thought. She had really enjoyed yesterday, which was an incredible relief. If she genuinely liked her time as a small child, it would be so much easier to convince her to take it up more often. “You’re happy today,” I said. “Enjoyed being young again that much?” “No,” she answered, but the smile never faded. “I mean… it was amazing. I still can’t believe how different that hypnosis thing can make you feel. It’s incredible, and I hope we can try it again some time. Maybe without getting so muddy this time. And without… well…” “I’m sorry I went too far,” I said. “I think I kind of flipped out over not being in control. Or I went back to before I learned to be a good person. I used to be a bit of a bully, and maybe that was on my mind when I thought about being a child. I’m sorry. But now that I’ve experienced it, I think being a little kid isn’t for me. I won’t be going back that far again. Your age, I think that would be great, but no further. I could be a babysitter, but I’ve got too many insecurities to be a baby.” It was a hard thing to say, but I was sure it was the right thing. Giving Tess a little subconscious nudge, playing on her desire to prove that she was the responsible one. She would never want to admit she had those same insecurities herself. “Yeah, it’s good. I mean, you were being pretty harsh, but I still got to try something that felt amazing. And even when you went… too far… there’s good parts. I found something that might work for me, anyway. I asked Ffrances about the other thing. You know, that we talked about? So I think that’ll be a lot easier in future. Just might need somebody to tell me…” she mumbled, and went quiet. But I could see her summoning up all her reserves of courage, before she continued: “To tell me not to have an accident. Before bed. Would you do that for me?” “I will,” I said. “When you need it. I promise.” I hoped Ffrances wouldn’t say anything more there. It would have been so easy for everything to fall apart in a moment, if she wondered why Tess was asking for the negative suggestion. But it could easily have made sense with her existing worldview. If Tess asked me to make her wet the bed, I would need to have the courage to say ‘no’ when she needed it. Ffrances had probably told her that she needed to not overuse the trigger, and I’d said something similar. So Ffrances would understand Tess’s request as making sure I knew I was supposed to refuse her at times. “Anyway, it’s sunny again. I can’t believe it was so warm last night, don’t think we’ll get much more of this.” “I know!” Ffrances beamed. “You got any plans?” “Well, I was going to ask. I wanted to meet up with a friend today, if that’s okay?” “Sure. I’ll give you a lift into town,” I answered quickly. “You mean now? I guess that’s why you’re up so early. Just let me grab a bagel. So–” “I could give you a ride if you prefer,” Ffrances cut me off. “I could do with checking in at work for a few minutes, make sure everything’s going okay without me. You know?” “That would be great. If you’re going that way, you might as well.” “Yeah,” I joined in. “We can–” “You should probably clean up a bit, honey. Yesterday was fun, but I think we need to take more precautions about muddy carpet next time. Tess and I can have a few minutes of quality time on the drive. We should get to know each other a little better if we’re going to spend time in the same house.” “Sure,” I nodded, just a little nervous. From previous experience, I was confident that ‘quality time’ meant a conversation with certain words injected at strategic intervals, strengthening the posthypnotic suggestions in the little girl’s head without explicitly mentioning them. It was a method she was particularly proud of, and I had seen how powerful it could be. But the girl had said “a friend” rather than giving a name, which made me suspect she meant the little thug who’d been grooming her. I didn’t want her seeing him; but I also couldn’t ask without creating more drama. And tension might make it harder for Ffrances to do what she needed to do. I could only take solace in the fact that Tess was well on her way to being a sweet, innocent child again. While they were gone, I set the vacuum running like Ffrances had suggested. It could usually take care of dust on its own, but when there were a few muddy marks on the carpet in places they wouldn’t normally have been, it would need a manual instruction to switch to shampoo-and-dry mode, and I would need to empty the dirty water tank afterwards. Once it was working I headed upstairs again, to see just how much our supplies had been depleted. I returned the baby powder and wipes to their places in the nursery. The diaper drawer was no longer neatly backed, but had a tin space at one end where two had apparently been used. I wondered if Tess had worn one and asked Ffrances not to tell me, or if I’d been changed somewhere in the confusion of the night before. But in either case, there were still 34 diapers neatly lined up from one side of the drawer to the other. Enough to last until Tess actually asked me to order more. I found time to send a message to Tess on FriendSpace as well. To let her know that I hadn’t enjoyed being a baby as much as I might have hoped. I thanked her for helping me, and said that I would still appreciate it if she would show enough interest so I would have an excuse to try it again. But in future, I wanted to set a lower age limit of fourteen for myself. It wasn’t quite true, but it was true enough. That would be enough for me to get her involved, give her an excuse to be younger, without risking a repetition of this week’s farce. I was just hitting ‘send’ when I heard the door open, and Ffrances called out a greeting. She said that she’d dropped Tess off in Pine Ridge rather than going all the way to Raybridge or the old town. That was reassuring, because I was pretty sure that she’d said the boy lived to the far side of her school. And then we had the whole afternoon together, which we spent reading comic books about mafia enforcers getting harassed by a ghost. It was an interesting story, and I could easily get into it; but I also took note of the distinctive art style. If I could understand both the style and the substance, I could really get into the heads of the fans. And I suspected that my clients at Claughton would be happy if they could see some subtle influences, the kind that only the most hardcore fans would consciously recognise, from the earliest days of the franchise. Ffrances was reading newer releases, some of her favourites. But she was always there to answer my questions, or to recommend the ones I should read next. I’d never been more thankful for my girlfriend’s well-hidden inner nerd. The rest of the day wasn’t particularly eventful. A lot of time reading, a little fooling around, attending to the vacuum once or twice, getting takeout from Xiao Lung’s, and watching whatever new releases the TV guide recommended to us. I resisted the urge to interrogate Tess when she came home, and instead offered her a single glass of wine. She sat with us in front of the television for half an hour, and then excused herself to complete the last of her weekend homework. We were heading up to bed when she stepped out of her room, blushing slightly. “Did you want another glass?” I asked. “We’re going to get an early night, because we both have an early start in the morning. But the bottle–” “No, thanks. I didn’t sleep so well last night, so I’d better get my head down. And I’m kind of excited as well, trying something new.” She paused, embarrassment showing in every gesture, before she looked up to address Ffrances. “So… Can I try the thing? So I can rest easy instead of thinking about it, wondering if it will work. Please? Can you tell me…” That was all she would be able to say. I could recognise that tension now, and I wondered if I should ask her what she wanted, or test out the new trigger right then. I didn’t know how powerful it would be yet, or if it would be better to give her a little more reinforcement first. Would Ffrances prefer if I said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for the first few times? “Of course,” Ffrances didn’t hesitate nearly as much. “Tess, you will have an accident in bed tonight. Don’t forget to wear a diaper, just in case.” My heart stopped, and I was holding my breath as I waited to see the little one’s response. “You don’t need to remind me,” she pouted. “I can take care of myself. But thanks.” -
By Kitty Angel · Posted
46. Confessional “You said some of your friends were going to be out today?” Spike asked, and Tess’s train of thought jumped onto a branch line. She’d managed to get so deep into her own thoughts that it took her a second to remember what their plans for the day had been. Maybe she could blame some of that on tiredness; she really should have tried to sleep better. “Oh, yeah,” the memories finally snapped into place. “Kim and Evan. You remember Kim, right? I don’t think I’ve met Evan, but maybe you have. You seem to know everybody.” “Don’t think so,” he shrugged. “So, going to meet them, or some time to kill first?” “They’ll let me know when they’re around. Anything you need to do today?” “Not much. Don’t want to go back home yet, they might not let me leave again. So… how’s your week been? Anything good since we chatted last?” “It’s only been a day, you know.” “Yeah, but it’s at least a week since I heard you venting about your school stuff, or getting excited about something you found easy. Friday it’s like we only got the important uncomfortable chatting.” “I know what you mean,” Tess answered, and took a left turn into the millennium park. Somewhere in the distance she could hear kids playing, or at least screaming at each other over something. And the sound of someone playing tennis on one of the public courts at the north end, with an occasional clatter from an errant ball hitting the high fences. They walked along the path, and then turned onto a narrower path through the trees. When they first met, it had been where Spike came to think about what his dad would have wanted, sitting in the old bandstand while he tried to clear his head of distractions. When she saw the ugly concrete circle to one side, she realised that he had problems of his own, and it was absurd to think that her issues were too much to talk about. “My room’s pink,” she said, eventually. “I think Alice really liked pink. Like, an unhealthy amount of it.” “Uhh…” Spike apparently didn’t know what to say. “Alice?” “Well, I don’t know her name. But she’s Alice in my imagination.” She thought for a long few seconds, and then started again. Somehow it was a weight off her mind to be telling him now why she’d been so nervous about inviting friends to her new home; and once she’d started, all of the details seemed so much easier. “My room, since I moved in with Gabby. She was away when I got in touch originally, some vacation. I think I said. So she didn’t have any time to get the place ready for me. It was like a spare room, she hadn’t used it at all, so there’s still all the furniture and decoration that the previous owners had in there.” “This Alice person?” “Right. I looked around the room, and tried to imagine whose room it might have been before. I called her Alice in my head. And I think she really liked pink. Pretty young, I think. It was Alice’s room to start with, and then she got her own room and it was her little sister’s room. Like, always the youngest. But all their toys were in there, so I thought maybe they all came there to play together. It’s like a little kid’s room, you know? Toys. A desk that’s not a normal size, so I feel really small whenever I sit there. The bed’s got like a couple of holes and clips, I think where you can put rails on the side so a child doesn’t fall out.” “And you’re embarrassed for your friends to see it, because there’s no way they could laugh at the decoration without someone joking that you’re a baby.” “Yeah. Exactly.” “And the kids left their toys there. Like, stuff they outgrew, I guess? Leaving it’s easier than taking it all to the dump if you’re moving out.” “That’s what I guessed. Like, there’s stuff I kind of remember from ten years ago, and stuff I’ve seen advertised for little kids these days, and everything in between. Like toys for every age from two to twelve, some of it old, some of it new. That’s why I thought all the kids left their old toys in one room. Or maybe it was all over the house and Gabby dumped it there, but I don’t think so. It’s all in boxes, and maybe there’s some kind of order there. And it’s not just toys. Like the blinds, and the shade on the light, and little decals on the walls, and the bedding. There’s even a changing table in the corner. So I guess it was a nursery originally. I’m in the baby’s room.” Spike didn’t say anything, just put an arm around her shoulders. He wasn’t like one of the jocks, but he was fit enough. And right now, his strength was the reassuring kind that made her feel safe. Protected. Like it didn’t matter what anyone else said, he would always be there. Unwavering, ready to defend her come what may. “I might have told you Friday, if I’d had time. Maybe I should show you. If Gabby gets any better after my parents have talked to her. I don’t think I can ever tell anybody else. They’d laugh, I know they would. So I’m just waiting for Gabby’s friend the decorator to get back to her. At least then I can change the walls, maybe get a new carpet. It’d look different. What do I do about the toys?” “Do what Alice couldn’t?” he suggested. “If they were packing up to leave, it would have been better to get rid of stuff like that. So maybe they didn’t have time. But some of that old stuff gets a fortune on ebay. Like people collect old toys, right? Could be a hidden goldmine. Or if not, donate it. There was a sign outside the homeless shelter on Lairon Street, they’re getting more people with kids and they want to have some toys there.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I could get rid of it all, and make some money if any of it’s worth something. But–” Tess thought about the rainbow ferrets that had been in her room. When she’d gone upstairs to get a shower after running around in the garden, she’d said hello to them first. Maybe she hadn’t been completely back to normal at that point. But after they’d been on her bed for so long, they felt kind of like friends. It would be weird to get rid of them all at once. And Gabby had been delighted to have a couple to snuggle with later in the evening, leaving the adults to talk about hypnosis and what it could safely do. If she was going to be turned into a child again, it would be good to have some toys for her, rather than getting rid of everything. “Well,” she said, not ready to share those thoughts yet, “I can sell some of them, anyway. There might be a reason to keep a few. But maybe they can live somewhere else for now, until the room feels more like somewhere I can work.” “No harm in that. But you’re in control, right? You know what I think your friends would say if they saw it all? They’d be amazed. Because you moved in with your cousin. Your parents were leaving the country, and you knew changing schools would disrupt your study. So you found another option. You made a solution when most people would say there wasn’t one. Yeah, it sounds like your room right now is kind of weird, but that’s just proof that you’ve beaten the odds. Weird just means not ordinary, right? And what’s another word for something…” “Extraordinary!” she answered with a smile. “I guess you’re right. I should stop worrying and just–” By the time she got back to thinking about what she should just do, Tess didn’t remember what the next word would have been. She’d been cut off by a vibrating phone in her hand, a message from Kim wanting to meet up at the mall. It seemed like the best option for now, and Tess knew she could really enjoy spending time with her friends again, now that there were no big things for her to worry about. -
Been there, done that. And it was only 3 or 4 years ago so I must have been nappied for it. Probably a pull-up. Stiff upper lip, grit your teeth, and go for it. Oh, and don't forget to tell them you've got bladder control issues. Works every time. 😀 -
By astrodiaper · Posted
At work, so nothing at the moment. I'm counting down the days where I hopefully get a day off and get to wear a proper diaper. -
By astrodiaper · Posted
Tarja Turunen (I fell in love with her voice before I saw what she looked like. 😍)
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