Upset and here is why

[DiaperboyEddie12]

As some of you know my mom is elderly and sick.  She has cancer and a lot of other problems.  But that is not what is upsetting me.

I live at home with my parents so I can help my mom.  And what is upsetting me though is I get a call from my mom and my stepdad decided to go with his brother who is visiting for a week or so and instead of asking my mom if she would like something to eat he leaves for the day.  I find out she has not eaten all day.  He yelled at her and told her to go into the kitchen and make her own food but she can not go into the kitchen as she is on oxygen and the hose does not reach the kitchen.  He has no feelings of her health but his own so yes I am upset.

I told her today that it is coming down to it that i am going to have to quit my job so I can make sure she has food to eat when she wants to eat not when he believes she should eat.

Tagging some of you for encouragement.

@BabySpiderBoy @DailyDi @spoonchicken @AwakenEvil @Glennie @~ashley~  @Evelyn Dellcerro @Transfusionelle @~Brian~ @froggy @joey52 @Dill_Pickle  

[froggy]

That is not a nice report, Eddie.  I have no idea about telling you what to do, but for sure you are a dedicated son.  You make your mother proud.

[square_duck]

There are portable oxygen u its that are light and easy to carry, if that helps. The one I remember is made by inogen.

https://www.inogen.com/

That can help with mobility, so she isn't stuck in one spot by hose constraints tied to an O2 tank.

Obviously your step 'dad' is a putz..... Very hard to work around. But something you can do is make some snacks, or even meals, and put them somewhere easy to get to and reach, and stay fresh. This way you don't have to quit your job, to be with mom 24/7. 

I have been through this kind of crap too, and it isnt easy at all!! Your job offers more than just a paycheck, it lets you get away from stressful environments, though there are people that say you are just trading one stress for another.... *shrug* it is also a distraction, so your mind isn't on home front stuff all the time...so dont be so quick to give that up. Independence for both you and your mom have great benifits...

[Little Cub Pants]

First off, let me just say that your stepdad is an complete asshole!?? Like what the fuck! Really????!?????? How can someone do that to someone else and be okay with that?!?????? I didn't like your stepdad before, and now I DEFINITELY don't like him! He's lucky I wasn't there, I would've given him a good ass whooping and go all stone cold on his ass stomp a mud-hole in it and walk it dry!???? AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE SPIDER-BOY SAID SO!!!!! Your stepdad's a heartless bastard! Yeah, I agree definitely quit your job and take care of your mom if you have to. Money comes and goes, but people do not! May the Lord be with you in your time of need and watch over you!?? I hate to see people suffering.?

[~Brian~]

7 hours ago, froggy said:

That is not a nice report, Eddie.  I have no idea about telling you what to do, but for sure you are a dedicated son.  You make your mother proud.

@DiaperboyEddie12

It sounds to me as if your stepdad is indeed an asshole. Since he does live with your mom, I would think that it would be his responsibility or one of his responsibilities to make sure that his wife is fed and taken well care of. It is bad enough that your stepdad yells at her, but to tell her to make her own food when she is on live oxygen? I draw the line there. It is unfortunate that you have to get to the point where you have to decide to quit your job so that your mother can eat when she wants to eat.

I agree you are a dedicated son:   one who make sure that his mother is taken care of and in this case you may have to make a hard decision, but I would hope that it does not have to come down to the fact that you have to quit your job. I will be praying for you!  You work hard and your stepdad is a fool.  It may come down to the fact that you tell your stepdad exactly how you feel because that is not right to leave your mother in a situation like this.  

As always Eddie we are here for you: sometimes life throws you a curve ball: in this case your Step dad threw a wicked one and he should feel bad about this in my opinion. I also understand she is on oxygen so there may be a way she could be able to move throughout your home without having a hose.  Portable oxygen units can take oxygen out of the air so that you don’t have to be connected to a hose.

Good luck And may your stepdad get exactly what he deserves I would never leave my mother in a situation like this.

Brian

 

Edited August 19, 2021 by ~Brian~
Edited to remove "Predictive Text Mistakes"

[Little Cub Pants]

2 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@DiaperboyEddie12

it sounds to me as if your stepdad is indeed an asshole. Since he does live with your mom I would think that it would be his responsibility or one of his responsibilities to make sure that his wife is fed and taken well care of. It is bad enough but your stepdad yells at her, but to tell her to make her own food when she is on live oxygen? I draw the line there. It is unfortunate that you have to get to the point where you have to decide to quit your job so that your mother can eat when she wants to eat.

I agree you are a dedicated son one who make sure that his mother is taken care of and in this case you may have to make a hard decision but I would hope that it does not have to come down to the fact that you have to quit your job. I will be praying for you you work hard your stepdad is a fool.  It may come down to the fact that you tell your stepdad exactly how you feel because that is not right to leave your mother in a situation like this.  
 

as always Eddie we are here for you: sometimes life throws you a curve ball: in this case your Step dad threw a wicked one and he should feel bad about this in my opinion. I also understand she is on oxygen so there may be a way she could be able to move throughout your home without having a hose.  Portable oxygen units can take oxygen out of the air so that you don’t have to be connected to a Hose.

good luck And may your stepdad get exactly what he deserves I would never leave my mother in a situation like this.

Brian

 

Well said Brian!?

[DailyDi]

That's terrible I'm sorry your mom had to deal with that!

I went though similar situations when my Dad was ill, and on oxygen. We tried a long hose, but it kept getting kinked and tangled. Medicare wouldn't pay for a portable oxygen, so we had to wheel o2 tanks around with him when we left the house.

You have my thoughts, prayers and hugs!

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, DailyDi said:

That's terrible I'm sorry your mom had to deal with that!

I went though similar situations when my Dad was ill, and on oxygen. We tried a long hose, but it kept getting kinked and tangled. Medicare wouldn't pay for a portable oxygen, so we had to wheel o2 tanks around with him when we left the house.

You have my thoughts, prayers and hugs!

@DailyDi@DiaperboyEddie12@BabySpiderBoy@square_duck@froggy

I also share everyone's sentiments:  When you marry, you basically make a "lifetime contract" to love, honor, cherish, and take care of one another "in sickness or in health, til death you do part."  My Dad has his issues too, but he takes care of what he can, and my stepmom does the same, and I can tell you there are many times when my stepmom says she is in need of help, and my dad is there.  I've seen my Dad tell her to "sit down" and he will make sure that she is taken care of. 

The same can be said of her in the other direction:  if my Dad was in need of help, and she could do it, she would:  It goes both ways:  However, you DON'T leave your partner for a day without the ability to get what she needs:  I believe your PARTNER comes first, and my parents take care of each other, and that is BOTH in sickness and in health.  If Dad or one of the guys could not do it, they have a way to get it done, but to YELL at her??  NOOOOOO SIRRRRRR!  Maybe she has a hard time with something, or she is not up to cooking one day:  that happens:  I remember on Father's Day one year, when we are supposed to take care of DAD, and I got SICK that day, and my DAD and my brothers were taking care of ME - heehhe:  We take care of each OTHER:  I betcha 10 POUNDS of Blueberries, that @Evelyn Dellcerroor @Transfusionellewould NOT allow something like that to happen!! *HUG*

Brian

[beallucanb]

When I first started take care of my mom, I found out early on that I could not trust anyone else to do the right thing for her.

 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

9 hours ago, beallucanb said:

When I first started take care of my mom, I found out early on that I could not trust anyone else to do the right thing for her.

 

I agree.  Though for one I believe my stepdad is in the wrong here.  When he married my mom he said those words to death do us part in health and so forth.  And he is breaking that oath by not helping her when she is ill!  So as the only child able to I got to be able to help her.

There are 3 of us on my moms side my sister who is younger has her own family to deal with and right now she got her hands full.  As for my older brother he got his own life with his family so he can not help.  

So it is up to me now!

[Transfusionelle]

On 8/19/2021 at 12:25 PM, ~Brian~ said:

@DailyDi@DiaperboyEddie12@BabySpiderBoy@square_duck@froggy

I also share everyone's sentiments:  When you marry, you basically make a "lifetime contract" to love, honor, cherish, and take care of one another "in sickness or in health, til death you do part."  My Dad has his issues too, but he takes care of what he can, and my stepmom does the same, and I can tell you there are many times when my stepmom says she is in need of help, and my dad is there.  I've seen my Dad tell her to "sit down" and he will make sure that she is taken care of. 

The same can be said of her in the other direction:  if my Dad was in need of help, and she could do it, she would:  It goes both ways:  However, you DON'T leave your partner for a day without the ability to get what she needs:  I believe your PARTNER comes first, and my parents take care of each other, and that is BOTH in sickness and in health.  If Dad or one of the guys could not do it, they have a way to get it done, but to YELL at her??  NOOOOOO SIRRRRRR!  Maybe she has a hard time with something, or she is not up to cooking one day:  that happens:  I remember on Father's Day one year, when we are supposed to take care of DAD, and I got SICK that day, and my DAD and my brothers were taking care of ME - heehhe:  We take care of each OTHER:  I betcha 10 POUNDS of Blueberries, that @Evelyn Dellcerroor @Transfusionellewould NOT allow something like that to happen!! *HUG*

Brian

A partnership is just that. You become a part of that person and they become a part of you. If the cogs arent rolling right you fix it, this is communication. If the oil is too thick, you break it down, this is compromise.. If the power is failing, you check your gas and air mix.. this is LOVE... If my game is low, I have Eve to be my cheerleader. If Eve cries, I am there to kiss away every tear. We made a promise to each other and we took vows, and I for one will not leave her side. Thanks @~Brian~

[DiaperboyEddie12]

14 minutes ago, Transfusionelle said:

A partnership is just that. You become a part of that person and they become a part of you. If the cogs arent rolling right you fix it, this is communication. If the oil is too thick, you break it down, this is compromise.. If the power is failing, you check your gas and air mix.. this is LOVE... If my game is low, I have Eve to be my cheerleader. If Eve cries, I am there to kiss away every tear. We made a promise to each other and we took vows, and I for one will not leave her side. Thanks @~Brian~

If anyone would know my stepdad you would understand him though you wouldn't either.  He is an idiot.  If one of his friends calls he is right out the door.  Though if my mom calls him for anything it is like fighting tooth and nail over that.

And he yells and screams at her.  Though she still loves him.   I told her many of times she needs to leave him.  Though we do have it made here.  We live on his land for free we do not pay rent or a mortgage or anything else other then paying electric and cable and water.  Everything else we do not pay.  So the land is nice to live on but living with him is not easy.

when he is high and drunk then it gets worse.

[beallucanb]

16 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

I agree.  Though for one I believe my stepdad is in the wrong here.  When he married my mom he said those words to death do us part in health and so forth.  And he is breaking that oath by not helping her when she is ill!  So as the only child able to I got to be able to help her.

There are 3 of us on my moms side my sister who is younger has her own family to deal with and right now she got her hands full.  As for my older brother he got his own life with his family so he can not help.  

So it is up to me now!

 

You are right about her husband, he sounds like a real piece of work.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

3 hours ago, beallucanb said:

 

You are right about her husband, he sounds like a real piece of work.

More like a Piece of S**T!

[Little Cub Pants]

43 minutes ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

More like a Piece of S**T!

I second that 100%!???

[beallucanb]

20 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

More like a Piece of S**T!

More like a steaming pile of it