At what point does giving up holding it in and choosing to use your diaper cross over into accident territory?

[Enthusi]

Even after unpotty training for years there are a lot of times where I can sense I have to go, and I suspect if I tried to use the big boy potty I probably would have made it, but I just sort of give up because I have a diaper on and besides I'm unpotty training.    Though there are plenty of other times where I know for sure I wouldn't make it to the toilet even if I tried.  And there's a lot of times where I'm really not sure if it was involuntary because I didn't really try.  

Obviously it's a continuum and a dynamic one at that. Incontinence itself is a spectrum and contextual.  And I realize it doesn't really matter.  

Still, I'm curious what others think... Do you find there are times when you aren't sure if you had an accident because you just sort of give up on holding it in?  Bowel or bladder, I suppose it doesn't really matter.  

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

It NEVER does: Key operative term; "choosing to."

[Enthusi]

47 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

It NEVER does: Key operative term; "choosing to."

But what if you chose to give up because you know resistance is futile? 

[sparklezBear]

There are a few threads from people who have gone 24/7 where they discuss levels of incontinence at length. It appears to vary in extent and time, but does appear to happen for some. In particular, wetting at night is a good example of an accident that can result from consistent nappy use. The threads are worth a read.

From my own perspective, I've gained bedwetting many months ago from psychological work and nappy use. Having gone 24/7, I'm doing everything I can to encourage pre-existing urinary incontinence while I aim for a more profound incontinence. I've also experienced bowel incontinence at times, and suppose that will continue too.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

But what if you chose to give up because you know resistance is futile? 

Key koperative term "choolse"

[herb330]

I have been 27/7 for years/  At first it was difficult to take care of business in a diaper but after realizing it I have no issues using it for its intent.

[stevewet]

On 4/4/2021 at 10:43 PM, sparklezBear said:

There are a few threads from people who have gone 24/7 where they discuss levels of incontinence at length. It appears to vary in extent and time, but does appear to happen for some. In particular, wetting at night is a good example of an accident that can result from consistent nappy use. The threads are worth a read.

From my own perspective, I've gained bedwetting many months ago from psychological work and nappy use. Having gone 24/7, I'm doing everything I can to encourage pre-existing urinary incontinence while I aim for a more profound incontinence. I've also experienced bowel incontinence at times, and suppose that will continue too.

I became a bedwetter again in my late 40's and was nappy dependant by the time I turned 50. I encouraged my incontinence and gave up worrying about it.

[Stroller]

During the day I generally get a few seconds' notice before I wet.  I ignore this & go on to wet.  It may be that if I tried to prevent myself wetting that I could hold it off, but since I never try it's quite likely I'll never find out.  So, during the day I can't say whether wetting is involuntary or not.

At night it's a bit different.  As far as I'm aware I've never wet in my sleep.  Frequently when I'm awake though, wetting starts with no notice at all.  It happened twice last night, for instance, so there's definitely a degree of incontinence now.  I don't know how easily I could turn that round if I wanted to - maybe if I went to bed knowing I mustn't wet, then I wouldn't.  Before I started wearing full-time I'd always go to the bathroom if I woke in the night.  Now I often don't wake up enough to do this even if I wanted to.

Maybe I'll never know whether I've become incontinent.  If I don't try to stop it, and don't need to take any active decisions to wet yourself, then how would I know?  I'm happy for that to be the way it is, without worrying about whether I've actually lost control.  I'd be surprised if I hadn't lost quite a lot of control by now, but I don't worry about it.  I'm in a nappy all the time anyway.

For those who don't know, I've been full-time in nappies during the day for 2 1/2 years, and at night for a year.  My nappies hold all my wetting, but when I need a poo I dash to the bathroom - I often don't get much notice, but it's usually first thing in the morning so it can coincide with my morning change.

[Rob110]

I gave up the fight years ago and I have no regrets as I was increasingly not making it to the bathroom in time so the stress of trying was not worth it, I still try to make it to the bathroom for bowel movements but unfortunately even that is slowly changing as well as my unexpected movements happen more often.  ( I have accepted my bladder IC issue and my increasing bowel issues) I cant change what’s happening so why stress it. 

[ValentinesStuff]

There are quite often times when I am diapered and I realize that I am wetting. When I think about it, I remember that I felt an urge and let go. It wasn't a fully conscious decision, but the decision was there anyway. This was not a bladder bursting feeling, just a minor feeling. But I normally just go whenever the initial urge hits. 

I don't consider these accidents, because I did choose, even if it never was fully considered.

[oznl]

On 4/5/2021 at 4:28 AM, Enthusi said:

Even after unpotty training for years there are a lot of times where I can sense I have to go, and I suspect if I tried to use the big boy potty I probably would have made it, but I just sort of give up because I have a diaper on

During the day at least I suspect for me it is this although I would not normally let things get as far as the "sense I have to go" stage. 

A caveat here is that a couple of years habitual nappy use seems to have significantly shortened (and made more frequent) the windows between "have to go" and "would have made it". 

There are now times where I suspect that without my nappy on, i would have wet my pants: not because I was technically incontinent but more because I would not have had the opportunity to reach a toilet within the relatively small window of opportunity afforded.  I think this is called "functional incontinence".

I haven't tested this for quite a while though because I don't use my continence.  It did occur to me a few months ago where I spent about 4 hours stuck in an enormous traffic jam.  I was using my nappy regularly and I doubt I could have managed without it.

Nights are different.  I'm not sure if I am technically IC at night or (more likely), I've conditioned myself over time not to wake up properly.

[Greg03]

I’ve definitely experienced this. For a long time I was in denial about my daytime continence issues (I’ve always been a bed wetter). It was totally normal for me to change my underwear a couple of times per day because I wasn’t making it to the bathroom in time- by the time I got there I had already started to go. A visible accident encouraged me to admit I needed some protection and I started wearing pull ups during the day although psychological it was very much a “just in case” for me. In reality my just in cases were almost daily, and knowing I was protected, I often told myself I was choosing to use my pull up for comfort or convenience. For me the realization that I couldn’t make the bathroom was when I was getting to the bathroom with an empty bladder and a full up, even at home when close to the bathroom. Nowadays I’m in full diapers and not always aware when I’m urinating, but when I do feel the urge to go, I still like to tell myself that my diaper is just for convenience!

[cathdiap]

On 4/4/2021 at 8:28 PM, Enthusi said:

Still, I'm curious what others think... Do you find there are times when you aren't sure if you had an accident because you just sort of give up on holding it in?  Bowel or bladder, I suppose it doesn't really matter.

The best way to find the answer to your question is to take off your diaper, drink a lot, take a laxative and see what happens when you go out in public. If you manage to find a restroom every time before you start wetting or messing yourself you are technically not incontinent. ?

Let me explain how I found out myself that there is a lot of mindfuck going on when you have incontinence desires and you are wearing a diaper. 

Whenever I take out my bladder stent after an extended period of use, there is usually a short time that I have some difficulty to hold in my pee. The first time this happened I had this exciting thought that I had really become incontinent so I decided to keep my diaper on and really kept wetting myself for a few hours. To make sure I wasn’t fooling myself I then decided to take off my diaper and see what would happen. Well, I had to visit the restroom twice within the hour and then everything went back to normal.

Do not under estimate the power of the human mind. The placebo effect is scientifically proven. 

So if you really really want to be incontinent and therefor start wearing a diaper, chances are that over time your body will follow your belief that you are incontinent and start acting like it. I think this is the whole idea behind the so called unpotty training. What doesn’t appeal to me in this concept is the fact that it requires the ongoing will to be incontinent. That in itself is contradictory to true incontinence. Incontinence means wetting or messing yourself especially when you don’t want it. 

That’s why I prefer using stents over unpotty training. 

 

[Kaliborio]

So, my experience might be different because I'm both AB/DL and IC (FI & UI). When I decided to go back into diapers full-time, my IC was subclinical; I went back into diapers full-time from about July 2012 through the end of 2012, and my IC intensified to the point of pretty much complete double incontinence and has been stable there since early 2016 with no signs of change. I originally thought the diapers must have caused my IC to intensify, but I'm not as sure now. I do think they probably interacted with each other and diaper usage might be why, unlike previous times, my IC symptoms now appear to be permanent. However, I'm comfy in diapers so I don't mind.

To answer your actual question, I had pretty much directly opposite experiences with wetting and messing.

With wetting, it returned to being pretty effortless and instinctive within the first couple of months I was doing it, and it felt exactly like I was consciously choosing to do it until I tried to quit diapers in June/July 2013 and realised I had pretty severe day wetting going on. Up until then, I was so sure that I was consciously choosing to wet that when I started bedwetting again in March I thought it was unrelated.

With messing, however, while it did get easier, it was still definitely conscious and voluntary right up to and through the point where it started happening by accident. In that instance, it developed in such a way that any voluntary messing I waited too long to do became an accident instead, and that process continued until I had basically no voluntary control over when I messed my diaper.

[TheBabyPants]

On 4/4/2021 at 5:03 PM, Little Christine said:

It NEVER does: Key operative term; "choosing to."

I have to agree with Little Christine.  It is the choosing to;   I never have the opportunity to choose if I am going to wet my diaper or not, it just happens. I rarely ever get any warning to choose from before I start to pee.

 

[BabyJune]

If you made an effort to put on a diaper, then it isn't an accident because you PREPARED for it to happen eventually.

[TGalactic2012]

On 4/18/2021 at 6:13 PM, Greg03 said:

I’ve definitely experienced this. For a long time I was in denial about my daytime continence issues (I’ve always been a bed wetter). It was totally normal for me to change my underwear a couple of times per day because I wasn’t making it to the bathroom in time- by the time I got there I had already started to go. A visible accident encouraged me to admit I needed some protection and I started wearing pull ups during the day although psychological it was very much a “just in case” for me. In reality my just in cases were almost daily, and knowing I was protected, I often told myself I was choosing to use my pull up for comfort or convenience. For me the realization that I couldn’t make the bathroom was when I was getting to the bathroom with an empty bladder and a full up, even at home when close to the bathroom. Nowadays I’m in full diapers and not always aware when I’m urinating, but when I do feel the urge to go, I still like to tell myself that my diaper is just for convenience!

I have noticed that even though my bathroom is a few away from my bedroom at home, I never make it.

 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

On 7/2/2021 at 5:27 PM, Froggyfun said:

Addident implies that you tried to make it to the toilet and for whatever reason you didn't make it.  Lots of people (like me) wear diapers at times as a backup if we can't make it to the toilet in time. so then I would consider it an accident

 

I agree!  If I am going on a long trip like an hour away or if I am going to town with my mom for the day.  I am putting on a diaper.  I have problems with my #2 control.  So there are times I have to wear them.

[DLmedical-turned DLmedfet]

When you lose the choice whether u can decide how intense your flow will be or when it will happen. 

 

[messyman]

There are some good pull ups that can hold a full bladderful if you are careful. If you have put on a actual diaper what is the point of holding back? That just makes you more likely to leak. You put on a diaper so you might as well use it.