Your Relationships

[rusty pins]

This is for those who are in a relationship weather married, partnered or living together.  From this point, a wife, husband or partner will be called SO for Significant Other.  Please feel free to tell us about your relationship as it applies to this lifestyle and some different options some may experience.

First, before your relationship, did your SO know you were AB or liked to wear diapers?  If so, what was their reaction?  Deal breaker, turned off about it, just tolerate it, OK to participate with it now and then, or really into it?  If not, what was your SO's reaction when you told them about it?  Elaborate if you want to.

If your SO is turned off by it, are you still allowed to wear now and then but only if the SO is not at home or around or do you have to wear secretly and hope the SO never finds out?  If the SO just tolerates it, are you allowed to wear at times only when the SO agrees or are there set times only.  Maybe you can wear as long as you are discreet, wear full clothing over your diaper so it's out of sight and out of mind.

If your SO really doesn't care that much for it but allows you your diaper time, can you openly wear just a diaper around the house without the SO complaining about it or telling you to cover up?    What is their reaction to you using the diaper?  Are you allowed to wet your diaper as long as you change it before it get's too wet.  Are you allowed to mess in your diaper or is that off limits totally?  Can you mess your diaper but only when the SO allows it and only in a specific place, such as the bathroom, bedroom or back yard, and then is the rule that you have to change it right away?  

Is your SO OK about your diaper lifestyle to where they will participate and even change your diaper for you now and then, or does the SO participate now and then by babying you, giving you a slap on the diapered butt or let you go out shopping with them wearing a diaper discreetly under your clothing, maybe even making a comment about your diaper where others can hear it?  Is the SO OK with it but mostly won't participate much or maybe change only a wet diaper once in a while while the rest of the time your changes fall upon you?  Maybe you can ask the SO once in a while if they will change your diaper and they will agree, or maybe now and then they might offer to change your diaper out of the blue, but for the most part you have to change your own diapers.

If the SO is cool with your diapers and even likes you in them, does the SO set rules so that they are the only ones to be allowed to change your diaper unless you are at work?  Do you have to ask the SO to change you every time or do they say things like, "Let's get your diaper changed!"  Is your SO OK with all types of diaper changes, wet and messy?  Is that chore split between you, meaning does the SO sometimes change you but other times you need to do it yourself.  This goes to people who are both AB and DL.  Some who are AB may enjoy the humiliation and the "Mommy/Daddy" aspect of it while others who may be DL only might enjoy sitting around the house openly in their wet or dirty diapers and enjoy the SO commenting on the diapers, telling them their diaper needs changed or even doing the changes for the wearer without the humiliation or mommy/daddy - baby part of it all.

Does your SO also participate not as a care giver or someone just to change your diapers but does your SO also get into it and wear and use diapers themselves?  If that is the case, do you trade off on changing each other as just two people who enjoy diapers or is there a trade off meaning one time you are the submissive and your SO is the one doing the changing and all, then you are the dominant or equal partner who says to your SO that they need their diaper changed and you do the job for them?  Not a trade off like one day you don't wear and the SO does and vice versa, but do you both equally wear and enjoy diapers at the same time together?

Lastly, over time has your SO changed their opinion of your diaper lifestyle, relaxed the rules, allowed you more diaper time or even participated more and more over the years, or has the SO pretty much remained the same as when your relationship first started.  Have they actually gotten less tolerant over the years and made you tone it down or wear less and less or more argumentative about the whole situation?

Any last thoughts and elaborations about your relationship and diapered lifestyle, weather it's all one sided or both wearing and how does that affect you in your daily life?  I'm sure lots of members would be interested in hearing how you and your SO get along together with the good times, bad times and pitfalls when one or both enjoy this lifestyle.
 

[drynot]

So as time has gone on, my SO"s attitude towards diapers has definitely changed...for the worse.  When we first got together I could put her in diapers from time to time and she would diaper me and even change me quite regularly.  However...as we got older, her participation dropped off considerably.  She'll put me in a diaper but she won't change them at all if I'm wet.  I don't mess them so that isn't a big deal.

That said....she doesn't mind me wearing them at all.  I don't have the best bladder control so it just makes life easier to wear a diaper when I'm out running errands and whatnot.  I can wear open and freely around the house and she'll comment about how crinkly they are or how cute the ABDL one's look.

My wife knew that I wore diapers when we first got together all those years ago.  I was still wetting the bed quite regularly back then so it was impossible to hide that when we became intimate.  It never seemed to bother her at all.  We're still married so I guess there's that.

[Three Rivers]

I asked my wife over 15 years ago what she thought about me wearing and using diapers.  I liked wet sex and this was just an extension of that for me, as having that wet feeling last longer. She said if it works for me that she was completely fine with it, she did ask me if I intended to use them fully for what they were intended for. I said yes that would be my preference. 

I asked her what she thought of me pooping as well and she said go for it and just don't stink up the house. So normally I keep the messy diapers in our bedroom unless she is gone for the day and then anywhere in the house is fine. Over time she asked me to bring it into our bedroom play, well diaper sex is awesome. She did some AB play but just really didn't do anything for me. She enjoys all forms of diaper sex (wet and or messy).

She has no issues with changing wet or messy diapers,  but normally I take care of it myself as it's my thing. She lets me wear anytime or place of my choosing,  and will call me squishy butt to be playful. I have always been respectful of her wants and needs as well. She seems to know when I need to wear a diaper as she will ask me if I'm going to change my clothes (code for putting on a diaper).

I have been married over 40 years and have a great wife and loving partner. I couldn't ask for anything more.  ?

[Elfy]

I have only had one serious relationship with someone who is now my wife.

I was fortunate enough to meet her in the chat room on this website so the first thing either of us knew about each other was that we liked nappies

I partake in this fetish more than she does but she wears as well. Neither of us are on the "dom" side of things so usually there isn't a lot of baby play when either of us wear. I mess fairly often but she isn't really into it, she said she doesn't mind if I do it when she's around but I haven't yet. If I do mess it is either when she is asleep or at work.

[mamabug]

I'm fortunate like Elfy to meet my boyfriend on this website as well. We both match up perfectly with our fetishes (me being a domme / mommy / sadist) and him being a (sub / little boy / masochist) we are still exploring this side of us so we haven't gotten to do everything yet, but the more we explore the more we learn more about ourselves! Our relationship is obviously way more than just diapers. I'm just as much his girlfriend as his mommy. They are both big part of our lives, but neither one dominates the other. I also will never wear diapers :p  (but I think pretty much everyone on here knows that much about me haha). It's both our own personal fetish and we were lucky enough to know that about each other when we met in here 4 year ago!

I've had other relationships though where I've had to tell the partner I liked dudes wearing diapers and changing them...for the mot part everyone was 'okay' with it, but wasn't interested in partaking. The closest thing they would do would be to call me mommy.

Looking back now I could never go back to a vanilla relationship! lol

I'm very thankful to have @Dr_J in my life ❤️ 

 

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

DIdn't have any romantic relationships until I was 18.  

1999, I didn't tell me wife, who I'd been dating for 2 years, though she discovered ABDL webpages on my computer and pictures so I had to confess about it, she asked me to stop and I said I would.  For the next many years I of course found that stopping was much harder said then done and I would occasionally get caught, leading to some unpleasant situations.  Looking back on this the fault was all mine because I was unable to talk about it, I would not say a word except for that I'd never do it again.  It was the lies and silence that hurt more than the diapers I think.

At some point after a discussion about them she asked me to start putting on diapers during sex, and a few times even put them on me, she even tried once, but she found it unpleasant and stopped.

2013, Our relationship was at its worst with lots of difficulties, diapers being one of them, but only a small one.  Thankfully some things improved and we got through this rough patch though we both had considered multiple ways to get out.

2017, Something in me had changed over the last couple years and I opened up to my wife about a few things.  One of the hardest things to do was try to explain to her what its like to be 13 and completely obsessed with diapers and holding all these secrets your entire life.  How I'd wanted to wear girls clothing, how I'd have endless dreams about being turned into a girl or baby.  I think for the first time she begin to feel sympathy, though its hard to be mad at someone when they can't stop crying.  

2020, So here are today. My wife does not want to see my diapers or have anything to do with them, but she seems to accept that it's just part of me.  She's OK with me wearing around her, she's OK with my rather growing collection of women's clothes.  She's somewhat annoyed by the multiple storage boxes of diapers and baby things, but it seems to be more worry about someone discovering them and the associated cost.  

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I shared my diaper desires with my significant other the first week we started dating.  Initially she had no problems with the fact that I enjoyed wearing diapers.  At the time I honestly did not desire to wear diapers all the time and wearing them was an every once in awhile thing. 

Our first argument about wearing diapers came within the first month of our relationship.  We were invited out to a party with friends and family at a local bar.  I decided to put on a diaper for the night out in town and my significant other became furious with me.  In her eyes wearing diapers was a fetish that belonged in the bedroom behind closed doors every now and then and did not belong in public.  She had an extreme fear that family members and friends would somehow find out I was diapered.  Wearing diapers in public was something that was completely normal to me and I automatically just assumed that it would not be a problem for my partner.  I did not take off my diaper that night.  I remember using it until practically leaking and removing it in the restroom at the bar.  I guess I did not take my diaper off because I felt this was something my partner needed to accept about me.

For the next year diaper play for us was an on and off thing.  My partner and I married during this time and she tried to embrace my diaper fetish the best she could.  At this time I still did not have any desire to wear diapers permanently.  Most of our diaper play centered around her humiliating me.  It was not uncommon for her to give me an enema and rub my messy diaper in my face.  For some this would be so disgusting but for me the pure humiliation I felt from this action made me desire her dominance and degradation more.  During this time she also started to wear diapers.  We would take turns, her being Domme Mommy and me being a Dominant Daddy.  I never really embraced the role of being a Dominant Daddy as my wife would never use her diaper and for me I felt that was mandatory to enhance the play.

Then my wife became pregnant.  Once this happened she could no longer accept the father of her children wearing diapers.  She made it clear that I needed to stop wearing diapers.  The major problem was at work in my physically active job I was having a problem with anal leakage.  After an embarrassing situation where a fellow coworker asked me if I had shit my pants my wife suggested that I start wearing maxipads to work to prevent these accidents.  Since maxipads would not work in my boxers she said just wear some of my panties.  That was the beginning of the end.  Once this started I quickly turned into a complete sissy and wanted this lifestyle all the time.  My wife completely started to hate me.  From diapers to woman's panties and maxipads.  Eventually the lack of diaper time made me start craving diapers again.  The more she said no the more I needed to be padded again.  We ended up in marriage counseling discussing these issues.  During that time I moved out of our bedroom and slept diapered in other rooms inside of our house.  In a way I guess I wanted my wife to leave me.  

My wife had to decide.  After researching the ABDL fetish online she began to.underdtand this was never going to go away.  She made the choice then to accept her husband needed and will always need to wear diapers. 

I have now been diapered permanently for almost three years.  At this point it seems a forgone conclusion that I will remain in diapers the rest of my life.  My level of control has diminished over this time and my bowels become weaker and weaker.  We both anticipate and predict I will soon be fully incontinent.  This has forever changed our relationship particularly in the bedroom.  Now that I am more or less unpotty trained there is no intimacy between us.  Wearing and changing diapers is a normal part of both of our lives and no longer brings any sexual excitement into our bedroom.  I am happy that I can wear diapers every second of every minute of every day and she feels this gives me a better and more positive attitude in our marriage.  

Does my wife wish she was married to a normal man that could take care of her sexual needs in the bedroom...of course she does.  Do I wish my wife would live this lifestyle with me being a Domme Mommy all the time, of course I do.  These things are never going to happen and we have learned to accept that about one another.  Our marriage stays strong in all other areas except the locked bedroom.  

[feralfreak]

*reads the title* never had one, never will.

13 hours ago, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

I shared my diaper desires with my significant other the first week we started dating.  Initially she had no problems with the fact that I enjoyed wearing diapers.  At the time I honestly did not desire to wear diapers all the time and wearing them was an every once in awhile thing. 

Our first argument about wearing diapers came within the first month of our relationship.  We were invited out to a party with friends and family at a local bar.  I decided to put on a diaper for the night out in town and my significant other became furious with me.  In her eyes wearing diapers was a fetish that belonged in the bedroom behind closed doors every now and then and did not belong in public.  She had an extreme fear that family members and friends would somehow find out I was diapered.  Wearing diapers in public was something that was completely normal to me and I automatically just assumed that it would not be a problem for my partner.  I did not take off my diaper that night.  I remember using it until practically leaking and removing it in the restroom at the bar.  I guess I did not take my diaper off because I felt this was something my partner needed to accept about me.

For the next year diaper play for us was an on and off thing.  My partner and I married during this time and she tried to embrace my diaper fetish the best she could.  At this time I still did not have any desire to wear diapers permanently.  Most of our diaper play centered around her humiliating me.  It was not uncommon for her to give me an enema and rub my messy diaper in my face.  For some this would be so disgusting but for me the pure humiliation I felt from this action made me desire her dominance and degradation more.  During this time she also started to wear diapers.  We would take turns, her being Domme Mommy and me being a Dominant Daddy.  I never really embraced the role of being a Dominant Daddy as my wife would never use her diaper and for me I felt that was mandatory to enhance the play.

Then my wife became pregnant.  Once this happened she could no longer accept the father of her children wearing diapers.  She made it clear that I needed to stop wearing diapers.  The major problem was at work in my physically active job I was having a problem with anal leakage.  After an embarrassing situation where a fellow coworker asked me if I had shit my pants my wife suggested that I start wearing maxipads to work to prevent these accidents.  Since maxipads would not work in my boxers she said just wear some of my panties.  That was the beginning of the end.  Once this started I quickly turned into a complete sissy and wanted this lifestyle all the time.  My wife completely started to hate me.  From diapers to woman's panties and maxipads.  Eventually the lack of diaper time made me start craving diapers again.  The more she said no the more I needed to be padded again.  We ended up in marriage counseling discussing these issues.  During that time I moved out of our bedroom and slept diapered in other rooms inside of our house.  In a way I guess I wanted my wife to leave me.  

My wife had to decide.  After researching the ABDL fetish online she began to.underdtand this was never going to go away.  She made the choice then to accept her husband needed and will always need to wear diapers. 

I have now been diapered permanently for almost three years.  At this point it seems a forgone conclusion that I will remain in diapers the rest of my life.  My level of control has diminished over this time and my bowels become weaker and weaker.  We both anticipate and predict I will soon be fully incontinent.  This has forever changed our relationship particularly in the bedroom.  Now that I am more or less unpotty trained there is no intimacy between us.  Wearing and changing diapers is a normal part of both of our lives and no longer brings any sexual excitement into our bedroom.  I am happy that I can wear diapers every second of every minute of every day and she feels this gives me a better and more positive attitude in our marriage.  

Does my wife wish she was married to a normal man that could take care of her sexual needs in the bedroom...of course she does.  Do I wish my wife would live this lifestyle with me being a Domme Mommy all the time, of course I do.  These things are never going to happen and we have learned to accept that about one another.  Our marriage stays strong in all other areas except the locked bedroom.  

i hate to seem invasive, but no sex between you? how do you both handle that? its my understanding that married couples need that for some reason

On 4/10/2020 at 9:36 PM, Three Rivers said:

Over time she asked me to bring it into our bedroom play, well diaper sex is awesome. She did some AB play but just really didn't do anything for me. She enjoys all forms of diaper sex (wet..)

dont take this as asking, but,,,, i demand videos hahaha?

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

@feralfreak That is correct.  We do not have sex.  I prefer it this way as there are no expectations.  I understand that my wife did not expect to spend the rest of her life with a baby girl in the bedroom and she is free to seek men outside our marriage to satisfy her womanly needs.  She has done so in the past and I encourage to do so in the future.  She also has every dildo imaginable.  In the past we would often put a strap-on over my diaper and have sex that way but she seems uninterested in this now.

As for me, masturbating in a diaper is much simpler than attempting to pleasure my wife.  My diaper does not care how hard I am, how fast I am, or how small I am.

[feralfreak]

20 hours ago, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

@feralfreak That is correct.  We do not have sex.  I prefer it this way as there are no expectations.  I understand that my wife did not expect to spend the rest of her life with a baby girl in the bedroom and she is free to seek men outside our marriage to satisfy her womanly needs.  She has done so in the past and I encourage to do so in the future.  She also has every dildo imaginable.  In the past we would often put a strap-on over my diaper and have sex that way but she seems uninterested in this now.

As for me, masturbating in a diaper is much simpler than attempting to pleasure my wife.  My diaper does not care how hard I am, how fast I am, or how small I am.

well, you answered a question i was afraid to ask, about if the marriage was opened or if you worried about cheating, im not judging you but i wonder if it would be more fair to her to ask if she would like out of the marriage, but if you both are happy, its not for me to look down on anyone, especially since i dont have sex anyway, and cant be bothered to try to get into it with anyone.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

51 minutes ago, feralfreak said:

well, you answered a question i was afraid to ask, about if the marriage was opened or if you worried about cheating, im not judging you but i wonder if it would be more fair to her to ask if she would like out of the marriage, but if you both are happy, its not for me to look down on anyone, especially since i dont have sex anyway, and cant be bothered to try to get into it with anyone.

She could absolutely leave me should she so desire.  I would honestly believe that would be fair to her and most definitely never try and stop her from leaving.  Yet we have been in this together for a very long time.  Her love for me has obviously overcome all the dirty diapers and my sexual inadequacies.  She has learned to accept my need for diapers and loves me for who I am.  That is what I would call real sacrifice on her behalf.  I was unable to make the same level of sacrifice for her.  Other than in our bedroom our marriage is very strong.  Believe it or not by wearing diapers permanently our relationship has become stronger.  My every thought used to be of diapers and now since I wear them all the time my thoughts are focused on more important things like her and my family.  I used to be a miserable person before.  I am not that person anymore.  

[nareh60280]

I wanted to share what happened recently with my wife....

Here is the summary:
A few weeks ago my wife said to me: "What if you sleep in a diaper? That way you won't wake me up at night to go to the bathroom...", I thought it was a joke, and I said "yeah yeah of course..." and I did nothing...

But last week she came into the bedroom and said, "So... are you ready to sleep in diapers tonight?". She was serious !!!... So, I put a diaper, and I slept (and wet) in diaper all night !!! The next morning, she told me that she liked that I did not wake her up... and as she knows that I like to sleep diapered... So I will now sleep in diapers every night! !! I'm very happy!!!

------------------------

The whole story is a bit long... If you want to read it, I put it next... I will try to be brief:

My wife and I have been together since we were 15 (we are now 29 and have been married for 5 years). I confessed to her my DL side 3 years after we started our relationship...

At first, she did not like the idea at all, she asked me to get rid of all my diapers and forget the subject... As I was young and without much wisdom, I wanted to please her... but you know how it works... The desire returns and sometimes stronger...

Well, little by little, and over the years, she began to accept my DL side it is an important part of me, I can identify the stages of her acceptance:

Before our wedding:
1- There was no acceptance at all.
2- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and we never talk about it.
3- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and sometimes we talk about it.
4- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and we often talk about it... I start to tell my experiences... We stayed like that for about 5 years...

As we prepare for our wedding, I start to worry about how I'm going to wear "without her" when we get married, so we discuss it and reach level 5:

5- I can put my diapers in a drawer that she will never touch, but I can only wear them when she is not at home... and when I am at work or traveling... We stay like that for 2 years.

Then we had a fairly difficult stage... I started to have trouble with her level of acceptance. I started to get tired of having to remove my diaper every time she came home. I felt rejected, I felt like I had to hide my true side from my wife and lie to her every time... it was a horrible feeling that put me in depression for almost 1 year.

So, we arrived at level 6:

6- I can wear my diapers during the day, 3 times a week at work, and 1 time during the weekend in her presence, but within a very fixed schedule.

So this new arrangement was better, but I still felt bad, I wanted total acceptance, and without restrictions... I didn't want to wear diapers all the time, but I wanted to be free to wear when and where I wanted... My depression (also linked to problems in my job) didn't improve either. I sometimes wore my diapers outside of the "allowed" slots, and my wife got pissed off whenever she realized.

My wife and I then finally understood that the problem was the little honesty and trust that one had towards the other. One day, I promised not to hide anything from her anymore, and never to lie to her when I was wearing my diapers. And in return, she accepted that I wear my diapers when and where I want. So:

7- I can wear it whenever and wherever I want during the day. If she is not at home, I can wear only my diaper, but if she is there, I have to put on a pair of pants as a minimum. I can sleep in diapers when I am alone, but not if she is there.

My depression started to improve, also because of some changes in my job, and also because I started seeing a psychologist. I felt that I had found my ideal point. And our relationship was happier.

But then my wife started having her own depression and anxiety problems. She is not happy with her job and with other things in life. She also started having small urine urgencies and leakings, which increased her anxiety. She started putting on DryNites (by my advice), but she felt uncomfortable... We discovered that she had a urinary tract infection, she went to the doctor and the leaks were stopped, so she no longer wears DryNites.

Nevertheless, her anxiety continues until today (even if it is a little better), but that prevents her from sleeping well. She wakes up very easily, and the problem is that I go to the toilet several times (2 - 4) per night... So... A few weeks ago she said to me: "What if you sleep in a diaper so you won't wake me up anymore?... ", I thought it was a joke, and I said "yeah yeah of course..." and I did nothing....

But last week she came into the room and said, "So... are you ready to sleep in a diaper tonight?". She was serious !!!... So, I put a diaper, and I slept (and wet) in diaper all night !!! The next morning, she told me that she liked that I didn't wake her up to go to the bathroom, and since she knows I like to sleep diapered. So I will now sleep in diapers every night !!! I'm very happy!!!

8- I have to put on a diaper every night, under my pajamas, and if it is too hot, I can only stay in diapers. I can wear whenever and wherever I want during the day. If she is not there, I can stay only with just my diaper, but if she is there, I have to put on pants as a minimum.

I finally feel accepted as I am, and at the level that I want:)… I know that part of her sleeping problems come from her anxiety, and I hope it improves for her... But I want stay in level 8 of its acceptance. We spent a lot of time and a lot of problems to reach this level, and I hope it does not change, even if her anxiety improves and she gets to sleep well, I always want to sleep in diapers...

I had posted the previous in another topic, as well as some updates:

A couple of weeks ago, my wife asked about "technical details" of my diapers... So I asked her if she wanted to see some of them, and she replied: "Do you want me to see them?"... I've always wanted her to kind of see them, or touch them... So I gave her a "Tykables Cammies", a "Rearz Safari", and an "Abena M4"... She had never grabbed an adult diaper (except from the Drynites and Lady Pull-ups that she wears from time to time), so she remarked "They are pretty thick!!" But I felt like in a dream because of her acceptance!!

Then, yesterday... When I was diapered and wearing PJ's before getting to bed, she told me that I look kind of tired from this new job I have, she told me that some times my face looks kind of scary... So I told her that I'm actually pretty harmless... And I added "maybe if you remember that I'm wearing a diaper I would look less scary to you..." In that momeht she replied: "Let me see", and in that very momment she pulled my pants from behind!!! Revealing my PlayDayz diaper!!! which she padded and said "No.. It's a white diaper... it's not as cute and innocent..." But then I turned to the other side, revealing the printed colored cars from my PlayDayz... and added "Here, look at it from this side..." Hahaha I was dying in a mixture of embarassment, joy, happiness, acceptance, love... she finally replied "Ok, if you look at me while showing that side, it looks kind of cute..."
I feel that I am finally happy with my marriage, no more hiding, no more secrets... It only took lots of patience, opening my heart and feelings, and sincere and honest communication.

And another update:

So... With the recent lock-down we are all having. I have a new routine with my wife... We get up, I stay in my night time diaper (usually a Tykables) until it gets saturated, I then change to big boy underwear until around 8pm, then I shower after working out, and put my night time diaper... Usually, we dine while watching TV, I'm usually padded at this point.

So... apparently... every time we finish diner (in the couch), and I get up, my wife has the new habit of pulling down my pants a little bit while I'm standing up... revealing a bit of my diaper... Then she proceeds to ask what my print is about... hehehe. This is actually pretty awesome for me. She thinks that the Tykables wetness indicators are petty cool (stars that disappear, meteor fire that gets extinguished, or camouflage that changes)...

I love this new diaper-related dynamic

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

36 minutes ago, nareh60280 said:

I wanted to share what happened recently with my wife....

Here is the summary:
A few weeks ago my wife said to me: "What if you sleep in a diaper? That way you won't wake me up at night to go to the bathroom...", I thought it was a joke, and I said "yeah yeah of course..." and I did nothing...

But last week she came into the bedroom and said, "So... are you ready to sleep in diapers tonight?". She was serious !!!... So, I put a diaper, and I slept (and wet) in diaper all night !!! The next morning, she told me that she liked that I did not wake her up... and as she knows that I like to sleep diapered... So I will now sleep in diapers every night! !! I'm very happy!!!

------------------------

The whole story is a bit long... If you want to read it, I put it next... I will try to be brief:

My wife and I have been together since we were 15 (we are now 29 and have been married for 5 years). I confessed to her my DL side 3 years after we started our relationship...

At first, she did not like the idea at all, she asked me to get rid of all my diapers and forget the subject... As I was young and without much wisdom, I wanted to please her... but you know how it works... The desire returns and sometimes stronger...

Well, little by little, and over the years, she began to accept my DL side it is an important part of me, I can identify the stages of her acceptance:

Before our wedding:
1- There was no acceptance at all.
2- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and we never talk about it.
3- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and sometimes we talk about it.
4- She accepts that I wear my diapers, but never in her presence, and we often talk about it... I start to tell my experiences... We stayed like that for about 5 years...

As we prepare for our wedding, I start to worry about how I'm going to wear "without her" when we get married, so we discuss it and reach level 5:

5- I can put my diapers in a drawer that she will never touch, but I can only wear them when she is not at home... and when I am at work or traveling... We stay like that for 2 years.

Then we had a fairly difficult stage... I started to have trouble with her level of acceptance. I started to get tired of having to remove my diaper every time she came home. I felt rejected, I felt like I had to hide my true side from my wife and lie to her every time... it was a horrible feeling that put me in depression for almost 1 year.

So, we arrived at level 6:

6- I can wear my diapers during the day, 3 times a week at work, and 1 time during the weekend in her presence, but within a very fixed schedule.

So this new arrangement was better, but I still felt bad, I wanted total acceptance, and without restrictions... I didn't want to wear diapers all the time, but I wanted to be free to wear when and where I wanted... My depression (also linked to problems in my job) didn't improve either. I sometimes wore my diapers outside of the "allowed" slots, and my wife got pissed off whenever she realized.

My wife and I then finally understood that the problem was the little honesty and trust that one had towards the other. One day, I promised not to hide anything from her anymore, and never to lie to her when I was wearing my diapers. And in return, she accepted that I wear my diapers when and where I want. So:

7- I can wear it whenever and wherever I want during the day. If she is not at home, I can wear only my diaper, but if she is there, I have to put on a pair of pants as a minimum. I can sleep in diapers when I am alone, but not if she is there.

My depression started to improve, also because of some changes in my job, and also because I started seeing a psychologist. I felt that I had found my ideal point. And our relationship was happier.

But then my wife started having her own depression and anxiety problems. She is not happy with her job and with other things in life. She also started having small urine urgencies and leakings, which increased her anxiety. She started putting on DryNites (by my advice), but she felt uncomfortable... We discovered that she had a urinary tract infection, she went to the doctor and the leaks were stopped, so she no longer wears DryNites.

Nevertheless, her anxiety continues until today (even if it is a little better), but that prevents her from sleeping well. She wakes up very easily, and the problem is that I go to the toilet several times (2 - 4) per night... So... A few weeks ago she said to me: "What if you sleep in a diaper so you won't wake me up anymore?... ", I thought it was a joke, and I said "yeah yeah of course..." and I did nothing....

But last week she came into the room and said, "So... are you ready to sleep in a diaper tonight?". She was serious !!!... So, I put a diaper, and I slept (and wet) in diaper all night !!! The next morning, she told me that she liked that I didn't wake her up to go to the bathroom, and since she knows I like to sleep diapered. So I will now sleep in diapers every night !!! I'm very happy!!!

8- I have to put on a diaper every night, under my pajamas, and if it is too hot, I can only stay in diapers. I can wear whenever and wherever I want during the day. If she is not there, I can stay only with just my diaper, but if she is there, I have to put on pants as a minimum.

I finally feel accepted as I am, and at the level that I want:)… I know that part of her sleeping problems come from her anxiety, and I hope it improves for her... But I want stay in level 8 of its acceptance. We spent a lot of time and a lot of problems to reach this level, and I hope it does not change, even if her anxiety improves and she gets to sleep well, I always want to sleep in diapers...

I had posted the previous in another topic, as well as some updates:

A couple of weeks ago, my wife asked about "technical details" of my diapers... So I asked her if she wanted to see some of them, and she replied: "Do you want me to see them?"... I've always wanted her to kind of see them, or touch them... So I gave her a "Tykables Cammies", a "Rearz Safari", and an "Abena M4"... She had never grabbed an adult diaper (except from the Drynites and Lady Pull-ups that she wears from time to time), so she remarked "They are pretty thick!!" But I felt like in a dream because of her acceptance!!

Then, yesterday... When I was diapered and wearing PJ's before getting to bed, she told me that I look kind of tired from this new job I have, she told me that some times my face looks kind of scary... So I told her that I'm actually pretty harmless... And I added "maybe if you remember that I'm wearing a diaper I would look less scary to you..." In that momeht she replied: "Let me see", and in that very momment she pulled my pants from behind!!! Revealing my PlayDayz diaper!!! which she padded and said "No.. It's a white diaper... it's not as cute and innocent..." But then I turned to the other side, revealing the printed colored cars from my PlayDayz... and added "Here, look at it from this side..." Hahaha I was dying in a mixture of embarassment, joy, happiness, acceptance, love... she finally replied "Ok, if you look at me while showing that side, it looks kind of cute..."
I feel that I am finally happy with my marriage, no more hiding, no more secrets... It only took lots of patience, opening my heart and feelings, and sincere and honest communication.

And another update:

So... With the recent lock-down we are all having. I have a new routine with my wife... We get up, I stay in my night time diaper (usually a Tykables) until it gets saturated, I then change to big boy underwear until around 8pm, then I shower after working out, and put my night time diaper... Usually, we dine while watching TV, I'm usually padded at this point.

So... apparently... every time we finish diner (in the couch), and I get up, my wife has the new habit of pulling down my pants a little bit while I'm standing up... revealing a bit of my diaper... Then she proceeds to ask what my print is about... hehehe. This is actually pretty awesome for me. She thinks that the Tykables wetness indicators are petty cool (stars that disappear, meteor fire that gets extinguished, or camouflage that changes)...

I love this new diaper-related dynamic

Diaper acceptance over time can most definitely evolve in a relationship.  A lot of times, like in our marriages, it is for the better.  Unfortunately, for some relationships a diaper fetish can never be overcome.  Honesty is everything.  I had to be honest with both myself and my wife.  I simply could not be happy without wearing diapers and I was never going to be able to sacrifice that need even for my wife who I love more than anything.  Her choice to make the necessary sacrifices to accept that I need to wear diapers all the time has made me love her more.  Sure, I wish she played the Mommy roll more often, after all I live this lifestyle 24/7, yet I understand why she does not want to and I respect that.  

I would say your relationship with your wife and diapers will get even better.  She seems to be more and more accepting to your desires and who knows, maybe she will be diapering you soon.

[feralfreak]

On 4/14/2020 at 8:50 AM, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

She could absolutely leave me should she so desire.  I would honestly believe that would be fair to her and most definitely never try and stop her from leaving.  Yet we have been in this together for a very long time.  Her love for me has obviously overcome all the dirty diapers and my sexual inadequacies.  She has learned to accept my need for diapers and loves me for who I am.  That is what I would call real sacrifice on her behalf.  I was unable to make the same level of sacrifice for her.  Other than in our bedroom our marriage is very strong.  Believe it or not by wearing diapers permanently our relationship has become stronger.  My every thought used to be of diapers and now since I wear them all the time my thoughts are focused on more important things like her and my family.  I used to be a miserable person before.  I am not that person anymore.  

i have another question, and keep in mind im not trying to be an ass or anything, just curious and not judging, its not my place to, if you have a faith how do you reconcile that with the arrangements you and the wife have?

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

6 hours ago, feralfreak said:

i have another question, and keep in mind im not trying to be an ass or anything, just curious and not judging, its not my place to, if you have a faith how do you reconcile that with the arrangements you and the wife have?

I personally do not have faith so that does not apply to me.  It does however apply to my wife.  This is and has been a very real struggle for her.  My guess this has a lot to do with her becoming pretty much asexual now.

[Forced2wet]

I met my SO through POF, I had put on my profile about my AB/DL kink, so I wouldn’t waste any potential long term partners time, and she was one (one of many) who sent me a message.

We began chatting and, away from the AB/DL thing, we got on really well.

We met up, and our first night together, in a hotel, she asked me to bring my nappies etc so she could take part and change me.

5 years down the line, we live together. She is in total control of my wearing, she really enjoys the AB side of things whereas I’ve learnt over time I’m predominantly a DL with sexual attraction to nappies.

Where we struggle is that she is a very ‘soft’ person, which is her Mummy style, I prefer for my Mummy to be more in control, forcing me into wearing and wetting.

I should be satisfied that I have a partner who accepts and joins in with my kink, but I’ve been lucky in that all 3 of my long term partners have done the same, so perhaps I take it for granted. 

[Dartplayerinwvc]

*weather - whether or not she does,  I do and she knew from the beginning - -

 

[feralfreak]

17 hours ago, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

I personally do not have faith so that does not apply to me.  It does however apply to my wife.  This is and has been a very real struggle for her.  My guess this has a lot to do with her becoming pretty much asexual now.

well, im not gonna thump the bible at ya, God hates it when people do that, it drives others away, im just going to say you can always turn to Him, and your strong fixation on diapers might be the result of something missing, something that He can fill,  it dont mean you have to give up diapers and such, you just might not feel so much of a need for them, you say you both are still strong together, but there can never be too strong a bond, its up to you, He loves you, and ill leave it at that.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

2 hours ago, feralfreak said:

well, im not gonna thump the bible at ya, God hates it when people do that, it drives others away, im just going to say you can always turn to Him, and your strong fixation on diapers might be the result of something missing, something that He can fill,  it dont mean you have to give up diapers and such, you just might not feel so much of a need for them, you say you both are still strong together, but there can never be too strong a bond, its up to you, He loves you, and ill leave it at that.

Why can't there every be too strong of a bond?  I am my wife's everything.  I think that is pretty much proven or she would have hit the road a long time ago.  If did have faith then I could easily say God made this way.  Diapers are what was missing and I took care of that by wearing them permanently.  I am very happy and satisfied with that choice.  It has never been kept a secret from my wife.  She knew what she was getting into from the first week and she remains here.  Thank you for the Bible story.

[feralfreak]

2 hours ago, DiaperedAllTheTime said:

Why can't there every be too strong of a bond?  I am my wife's everything.  I think that is pretty much proven or she would have hit the road a long time ago.  If did have faith then I could easily say God made this way.  Diapers are what was missing and I took care of that by wearing them permanently.  I am very happy and satisfied with that choice.  It has never been kept a secret from my wife.  She knew what she was getting into from the first week and she remains here.  Thank you for the Bible story.

i think you missunderstand the part of no such thing of too strong a bond, its like having too much money(when is the last time someone said "damn it im too damn rich, here help me get rid of some of this"?), or being too healthy, or as i like to say around here, too much cuddlies, there is always room for more haha. just trying to do my part for God.

[Firefly 35]

17 hours ago, Forced2wet said:

I met my SO through POF,

What's POF?

[DL-Boy]

1 hour ago, Firefly 35 said:

What's POF?

POF is a dating website, and POF means "Plenty of Fish".  The full name is pof.com.

[le Hollandais]

On 4/10/2020 at 4:18 PM, rusty pins said:

First, before your relationship, did your SO know you were AB or liked to wear diapers?

No, she didn't.

On 4/10/2020 at 4:18 PM, rusty pins said:

 If not, what was your SO's reaction when you told them about it?  Elaborate if you want to.

I tried to suppress the DL side of me for years. I did bring up the subject once by way of mentioning what a nuisance I thought it was getting up several times a night to pee, and suggesting diapers. Her biggest objection was not wearing diapers, but the expense. She was strictly thinking in terms of disposables. 

 

On 4/10/2020 at 4:18 PM, rusty pins said:

If your SO really doesn't care that much for it but allows you your diaper time, can you openly wear just a diaper around the house without the SO complaining about it or telling you to cover up?  

We haven't gotten to that part of the discussion, yet. And anyway, I feel rather uncomfortable wearing just a diaper and T shirt, unless I have the house to myself. Neither of us is used to just hanging out in our underwear.

 

On 4/10/2020 at 4:18 PM, rusty pins said:

Is your SO OK about your diaper lifestyle to where they will participate and even change your diaper for you now and then, or does the SO participate now and then by babying you, giving you a slap on the diapered butt or let you go out shopping with them wearing a diaper discreetly under your clothing, maybe even making a comment about your diaper where others can hear it?  Is the SO OK with it but mostly won't participate much or maybe change only a wet diaper once in a while while the rest of the time your changes fall upon you?  Maybe you can ask the SO once in a while if they will change your diaper and they will agree, or maybe now and then they might offer to change your diaper out of the blue, but for the most part you have to change your own diapers.

I prefer to do my own changing and clean-up.

I have worn a diaper when she's at home, usually waiting for a time when I'll have the bedroom to myself for putting one on.  Changing can be done in the bathroom. Last Wednesday, which by the way was laundry day, (how convenient!) I put on a diaper after she had gone to bed late the night before. I diapered up in the computer room. So I have discreetly worn a diaper.

Next morning, I proceeded to wet and mess my diaper without so much as a sideways glance. Cleaning up was easy, and nothing was said. 

[pvcsarah]

I've only recently discovered my love of wearing diapers. For a long time I've had a problem with wetting myself a little bit. ie. When I've finished I sometimes carry on peeing or I didn't realise until too late and I would wet myself. I convinced my wife that I should start wearing pull ups. A year on and she's fine with it. I've progressed a bit and wear a booster inside plastic pants, then a diaper  with another pair of plastic pants over the top. She knows this makes me happy. I've asked her and she tells me shes fine with it. I know though that she would never get involved herself. We rarely have sex and she would certainly not allow any diaper fun during sex. I'm ok with that though. 

When we met nearly 30 years ago I come out straight away as a crossdresser and she was cool with that but as the years went on and after our child was born was became less tolerant of it to the point of her almost leaving me over it. But she realises now that I cannot give up my love of dressing up as a girl and I'm allowed to  dress up downstairs when she goes to bed... though since I got into wearing diapers I've sort of lost my urge to crossdress in PVC ,lingerie  and high heels. If I'm  really lucky and have been good I'm allowed to dress up when we have sex  she's not comfortable with it  but it  does happen occasionally. She absolutely refuses to use a strapon on me though which is something I'm desperate for, I dont ask now and it's far easier to visit a professional to make this happen.

[Transfusionelle]

Before I met the woman I have been with now my life was very empty. I did the marriage thing for eight years but that went sour fast, and she never knew about my diaper use. I was alone for a few years. Now being in a loving relationship with a diaper lover supreme, its like a liberation of the heart. I can wear a diaper around her and she wears her diaper around me, we even go out shopping wearing our diapers and enjoy ourselves. She has been wearing diapers far longer than me, but I have learned quick the enjoyment of changing her diaper as she changes mine. That is one part of our relationship that grows more and more everyday. I seem to look forward to changing her wet or dirty diaper with no qualms whatsoever. She is and always has been a trooper, and has changed me regardless of the mess i was in. We have even gone out diaperless, and had accidents on purpose in our pants, just so we can clean each other when we get home. I love that some of you met your SO's here on this site. I had the luck of meeting my SO at work and totally by accident (pun intended) It is awesome as my SO would say to be in a loving, caring and honest relationship and not to hide my diaper from her. Bless you all and if you haven't found that person yet, don't get discouraged. There is a yin for every yang.