Kaliborio

I am back on my usual shit. Obviously, some people lose continence in ways that are related to their diapers. Either they lose it intentionally, through untraining (see, e.g., The twelve month diaper-training program), or they lose it incidentally — and generally to a lesser extent — through the incentive pressures of 24/7 (see, e.g., Practical 24/7: A guidebook, or Understanding Infantilism's qualitative survey on the topic). I've noticed that a lot of people feel they can't get their continence back. The likelihood of a given person with diaper-related continence issues having this view seems to be directly linked to the amount of time those continence issues have been present. It doesn't seem to be an attitude thing; some like it, some hate it, but they agree on the conclusion. My own experience with diapers and my (ultimately transient) attempts to recover my continence seem to bear it out, too. So, I'm interested to hear from people with diaper-related continence issues (untraining or incidental): What are your diaper-related continence issues? How did they come about? How long have they been present? Do you think you could regain your continence? If so, do you think it would be easy or difficult from where you are now? What factors are informing your view?

Historically I've done most of my posting on tumblr. I assume people aren't using reddit. Where is AB/DL social media these days? Is there any platform where AB/DL content is in plentiful supply or have we just kind of been driven off the internet?

I'm autistic, have ADHD, and am incontinent.

I am incontinent. I see this as partly the result of a choice on my part. However, I believe that due to existing chronic continence issues I would likely have ended up pretty severely incontinent anyway. To the extent that this happened because I wanted it, and to the extent that I wanted it, I wanted to be incontinent because I didn't want to be incontinent. Put another way, continence was always extremely effortful, pretty much always painful, and often unreliable for me. Dealing with incontinence involved more routine work but I'm used to that. It took away the anxiety of trying to be continent and I can assure you I really needed to be free of that goddamn anxiety. I was born in the 1990s. I have enough anxiety already.

My continence issues have been lifelong. They were episodic until the early 2010s but are now constant. We are writing them off to a combination of: fundamentally, the physiological and psychological effects of the various developmental disorders I have; me no longer caring enough to do the small and largely pointless amount I can do to manage them.

This is normal. There are two reasons it happens: The muscles of bowel control and the muscles of bladder control are connected through the pelvic floor. This means that when you void your bowels it becomes relatively easier to also void your bladder and relatively harder not to. If you're exercising voluntary control of your bowels, you are likely pushing, which entails boosting your intra-abdominal pressure (IAP). Boosting your IAP also squashes your bladder, increasing your level of urinary urgency and the likelihood that you will pee.

I'm so tired that shit which is perfectly legal and ethical but weird and unusual can't exist on the internet anymore because it might scare someone somewhere a little bit for two minutes.

I change at work.

Depending on your definition of "in public," I've probably been out in diapers more times total than I was ever out in underwear, lol.

A slight variation on the name of the Kaliber Lounge in Brunswick Street, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane.

I had some infrequent, random, low-volume night-time wetting accidents in my early teens. Not enough that I thought of myself as a bedwetter — because I had other continence issues at the same time and I thought of them as part of that — but enough to be stressful. They sucked. I didn't have the kind of bedwetting that I do now — heavy, constant, every night — until adulthood. When it started it was scary and nerve-wracking because I was having some troubles with daytime wetting control, but I personally had made the choice to go back into diapers and felt like that choice had made my control worse and I was responsible for it. When the bedwetting started, I felt responsible for that, too. As it got heavier and more frequent, though, it got emotionally easier to deal with, partly because it became easier to justify taking the obvious precaution of simply wearing diapers every night. It also became easier because I realised that the fact that I was wetting the bed was a sign that it wasn't all my fault, any more, that by definition it could not be my fault because I wasn't choosing to wet the bed. Bedwetting probably made it easier to deal when my bowel control started falling apart. So, all in all, I feel fine.

White. Partly nostalgia and partly because if I have a caregiver it's the easiest colour for visually interpreting how wet the diaper is.

It's difficult to say simply because the period I am regressing to went so differently for me than it did for any of my peers. Short version — throughout our lives we will be categorised into age groups. The age group you're in affects how people treat you and what is expected of you. Age grouping is age-based but also act-based. The dividing line between "child" and "adult" is 18, for instance, but a 17-year-old who works full-time and lives independently would probably be considered pretty uncontroversially an "adult". However, an unemployed 25-year-old who lives with their parents might be considered an "overgrown child"(*): their actual age is acknowledged by the word "overgrown," but the suggestion is that for all practical intents and purposes they are a child. (* This is not supposed to be a slur on unemployed 25-year-olds who live with their parents. I think they're adults. I know what the modern world is like.) I would say the age groups go from granular to coarse as you get older. I would say early childhood (up to, let's say, 7 years old inclusive) can be subdivided into 3 age groups: "Baby" includes infants and toddlers, so 0, 1, or 2 years old; "Kindergartner" includes kids too old to be babies but who haven't started school yet, so 3, 4, or 5 years old; "Kid" is kids who have started school but are still very little, so 6 or 7 years old. The window during which a child is supposed to start toilet training falls after the middle age of the "Baby" group, and partly as a consequence of that the Baby/Kindergartner transition is strongly associated with having started toilet training, to the point that a child who hasn't started toilet training by the time they reach kindergarten age might be considered a "baby" for longer, or might be in a liminal state where they're treated in a way that has aspects of both. Similarly, the window during which a child is supposed to have finished toilet training is around the middle of the "Kindergartner" group, so a child who hasn't finished toilet training by the time they're 6 might be considered a "kindergartner" for longer. I didn't manage to start toilet training until I was about 7 and didn't manage to finish it until I was about 8. Based on my understanding of how other people grew up, I was definitely stuck in a liminal category — I wasn't completely babied but until I started school, and to an extent afterward, I was still being treated a lot more like an infant or toddler than almost anybody else with whom I've discussed it seems to have been. When I regress to babyhood I'm regressing to anywhere between birth and 5. Given all that I would say I am pretty authentic to my idea of babyhood but someone else might have a different idea of what it is.

Didn't fantasise about it between toilet training and puberty. Didn't really fantasise about it after puberty, but my continence never got back to where it was immediately after toilet training, and I kind of felt like I'd be happier in diapers.

I am a medically incontinent, bedwetting, AB/DL trans woman.