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Chapter 1 Tish held the pen in her hand. She was shaking and wasn't sure she would be able to sign the document in front of her. It was partly from fear and partly from anger. She still couldn't believe this was happening to her. She felt so alone but knew that there were millions of others facing the same thing. She looked down at the legal document in front of her. She had read through it twice but it didn't matter. At the bottom of the last page were spots for two signatures. On the left was a signature line labeled "Minor Person", waiting for her to sign. How could she be a minor person when she was 20 years old? Her birthday was in 4 days. This was rediculous. On the right was a second signature line labled "Sponsor/Adult" and that line had already been signed by her friend and roommate Jenn who was sitting next to her. Tish looked up at Jenn who was waiting for her to sign. Jenn gave her a reassuring look and nodded towardsd the paper, encouraging her to sign. All Tish could think about was how unfair this was. She and Jenn were practically the same age, yet they were in entirely different situations. Jenn was only a few months older than her and she was the 'adult'? If only she had been born a week early she could have escaped what was about to happen to her. She put that out of her mind and brought the pen down and awkardly signed the paper in front of her. "Thank you Tish. I know this is awkard for everyone but just know what you are doing here could save the human race.", The woman across the table took the signed documents, quickly reviewed them for accuracy and put them in a folder. "Uh huh, that's what they say.", Tish retorted. "Tish! Don't be one of those people. You know the science is clear on this. The whole world is doing their part in this. You should be taking this more seriously.", Jenn pleaded. "Want to switch places then?", Tish snapped back. "Jenn is right. You both need to take this seriously. The documents you signed today show your committment. Jenn, since you are acting as her sponsor and guardian with regard to the new laws, you will be held just as accountable as her to follow the rules and instructions." "We understand.", Jenn confidently replied while Tish folded her arms and looked down. "Tish, I we realize this is hard for you to accept. You just missed the age cutoff by a few days but there a lot of people going through the same thing. Frankly, I haven't seen anyone as reluctant or resitant to this as you. Jenn has spent a lot of her time going through the training necessary to be your sponsor. She has sacraficed a lot of her time and is taking on a big responsibility. You are lucky to have her. There are many people who aren't so lucky! People who don't have anyone close they can depend on. Those people have to depend on complete strangers, and it won't be easy for them, but we are all in this together. I guess what I'm saying is you are a lucky, and you should realize that. So I don't want to hear of any trouble from you two, ok?" Tish looked up at Emma and Jenn. She didn't want to seem ungrateful for what Jenn was doing for her but it didn't change the fact that all this seemed uncessary and unfair. She was so sick of hearing that we were "all in this together", everyone needs to "do their part" and all the other buzzwords and phrases the media and government pushed on everyone. She was sick of it. Anyone that spoke out against these new measures was deemed to be some sort of irrational selfish jerk. "No Emma, you won't. This is just such a strange thing going on for everyone. Everyone will come around I'm sure. And maybe it won't take long to find a cure or whatever. I'm pretty hopeful about that, but until then I'm sure we'll be fine once we get going and into the routine.", Jenn stated while massaging Tish's shoulder, trying to comfort her. "That is everyone's hope Jenn. Now if you don't mind, I've got about 50 more of these appointments today for the other stragglers. Please find your starter kit on the way out. It will be labeled with both of your names. Everything you need for your first week is included. Remember your training and everything will go smoothly. Remember, we have an appointment in 1 week from today, but remember that random inspections may happen at any time. Carry your ID with you at all times. Jenn, because you look young, you may be asked for proof of age. Tish of course won't have that problem. Good luck and I'll see you in a week." Tish and Jenn walked out of the office into a lobby full of people sitting and fidgeting awkwardly. All eyes were on them as if trying to seek out any information about how their meeting went. The room was full of different people of all ages. Guys, girls, children and their parents, friends, couples holding hands, and others. Tish wondered about all of the weird situations the new law would cause for people and their relationships. She wondered about her own relationship. Her boyfriend was 22, so he was immune to the restrictions. At first it made sense that he would be her sponsor but that option was quickly removed from the table. As the laws were being debated back and forth over the many months, some lawmakers got their way that there could be no opposite sex minor/sponsor relationships unless both parties were married or the person was a legal guardian. Of course, the government failed to take into account all sorts of other lifestyles, situations, exceptions etc. It was a typical bearucratic mess that you would expect. There were protests and speeches and marches, but in the end things move so fast that is how it ended up. No solution was perfect and no side of the argument got everything they wanted. The other fact was her boyfriend lived 45 minutes away which would also be inconvenient for other reasons. Luckily he was very supportive and said he would stand by her over the next year. Jenn found the box with their names on it and they loaded it into the car. The drive home was awkard. Jenn tried to make small talk and assure Tish everything was going to be ok. "You say that, but I'm the one having to go through this. I'm just really worried about John. He says he will stick by me." "He will. I've always like John, Tish." "I know but a whole year without sex? I just don't understand why we can't, you know, do other things. Why are they being so strict with all of it?" "Tish! We've talked about this before. You know why. The future of the human race is a stake. Even if you don't believe it or whatever, it's true!" "Yeah yeah, I know.. the science. But maybe we can sneak around somehow." "Tish, you know the rules. If you get caught.. Well, and...." "What?" "Umm, it's just that messing around is going to be pretty impossible for you." "Huh? Just what does that mean? Tell me!" "I'll explain everything in a bit ok? I'm really not supposed to tell you anything until we open the box later together." "Geez Jenn, like who is going to care. But whatever, you are always the rule follower." They arrived at their apartment in about 15 minutes and took the large box inside and set it on the floor. It was Sunday afternoon and they both had to work tomorrow, but they had a little time to relax before having to get ready for tomorrow or discuss the kit. They worked around the house for awhile, made dinner and opened a bottle of wine. When they were cleaning up dinner Jenn finally broke the ice. "Tish, it's time to go through the kit. There is a little worksheet we will have to do and things to discuss. We both have busy days tomorrow so we just have to do it and get it over with." Tish had noticed a slight change in Jenn's tone. Almost an suble aire of superiority or authority. She wondered if this was how it was going to feel for the next year. "I know.. I know I'm putting it off. I still can't believe this you know?" "I know.", Jenn took Tish's hand and squeezed it as she lead her over to the box. She knew a lot more about what was going to happen than Tish did. She had been through several training classes to become Tish's sponsor. For some reason they didn't want the minors, as they were called, knowing all the details. She knew right now all over the country people were about to do what they were doing. Open these boxes and have their lives changed. She knew people were probably live streaming it, blogging and posting things on the various social media sites. She tried to ignore the noise of all that and focus on what she could best do to support her friend through this. Jenn figured that after a couple of weeks the newness of all of it would wear off and people would just have to accept that this was the way of life for awhile and the world would adapt. Jenn handed Tish a pair of scissors. Tish slid the blade across the heavy tapes and the heavy cardboard box poped open. The scent of the air from inside the box hit her nose. It was unfamiliar to her but not unpleasant. She took a deep breath and peeled back the edges and looked in.

Scene #209 “I am so mad at you,” Mary said to me. “Do you understand? Not disappointed. I am actually mad at you.” I’m very wise, ya know, like I have wisdom and stuff? I was drawing upon that wisdom when I didn’t answer her question even though, yes, I did understand cuz she had me by my elbow kinda hard as she marched me up the stairs. But I kinda sorta knew when I did what I did that she’d be super mad about it. I just decided to do it anyway. And Mary’s not dumb. She knew that I knew she’d be mad and that I did it despite that, which probably explains why after she parked me in the corner she went into the bathroom and (dammit!) got the bath brush. It should be banned; I think the United Nations went so far as to designate it a weapon of ass destruction, but like Mary even listens to intergovernmental organizations. Behind me, Mary kept making these noises like she was about to start lecturing me at a high volume and rapid cadence, but she kept cutting herself off after half a syllable. In other circumstances, I would’ve been pleading not to get the bath brush and maybe, if I were feeling the right combination of bratty, sassy, wronged, and righteous, arguing with her. But like I said, I knew I was way in the wrong. I stood in my time out and didn’t interrupt Mary’s not-quite-a-tirade. Depending on how you use time to mark events, either this whole thing started when I hired a landscaping company to install a sprinkler system in our yard and gardens without asking or telling Mary, or when she found out, which happened five minutes prior to my corner time when she glanced up from her work computer and strangers team digging a hole in the yard. A terse exchange of words followed in which I verified that, yes, I hired them; no, I didn’t ask permission to alter our home or break the spending limit; yes, it was expensive; and no, we couldn’t undo it cuz I signed a contract and gave them half the cost as a deposit. Mary was pacing behind me making her I’m-so-angry-I’m-speechless sounds for about two minutes, and when she stopped, even before she said anything, I wished my butt a fond farewell. So long, girl. It’s been a heckuva party. I wasn’t scared. At least not until Mary said, “No. After.” “What? What after?” “We’ll talk about this after your spanking,” she almost hissed but it was too loud for a hiss. Like, she invented a whole new tone of voice right on the spot, and not a fun one. “You should calm down first,” I helpfully (hopefully) suggested. First rule of disciplinary spanking is don’t spank when you’re mad. “I’m calm.” “Um, are you sure?” “Come over to me.” “Mary?” She did one of those forceful sighs that says patience is about to be a thing of the past. “Daphne Ann, walk your butt over here right now.” O, so like, right now? Um, okay … Dammit! I got within arm’s reach and was naked from the waist down so fast I think she did a magic trick. That would be so like Mary, learning magic tricks to de-pants me. I must’ve looked (what’s the understated word for scared?) distressed cuz she said to me, “I’m not going to hurt you.” Kinda silly when you think about it; she was so going to hurt me. But she wasn’t going to injure me. Count on Mary to be so self-possessed mere moments after getting past her angry muttering. “Lie down on the bed, on your back.” “Buh … Does it have to be the diaper position?” And there’s Mary’s this-is-the-worst-time-ever-to-say-or-do-anything-except-what-you’re-told face. It’s all in the eyes. And the pursed lips. And way she managed to scowl with her whole head. How does she even do that? I gave myself a quick pep talk. I said to myself, I said, Self, you knew this would happen. You didn’t know it would be the bath brush, but you were pretty sure. You knew enough, and you did it anyway, and you still think it’s worth it. Two weeks from now, when your butt is back to its normal color and it doesn’t hurt to sit anymore, you’ll be laying in the sun admiring your flowers that will look so much better because of the sprinkler. Go to your happy place. (*insert harp music) Happy place. Happy place. Well, that was a flawed pain management strategy. My happy place is anywhere Mary is and especially our bedroom. I was literally in my happy place, and lemme tell ya, neither of us was happy. But I was determined to take my consequence with the stoicism and poise I’m known for. ‘There goes Daphne,’ people say, ‘I bet those ancient Greek stoics would have a lot to say about her.’ I was even gonna hold my legs up for her, but she got there first. But if she beat me to that, raising my ankles so high she had spanking access to my whole butt, I beat her to tears. I was crying way before (fraction of a second) the bath brush even connected the first time. It was just nerves; nerves, and know that while I had my reasons, it really was a crummy thing to do. Neither of us was especially verbal. I let out some cry-inflected ows, and Mary let the brush do all her talking. It’s … quite an orator. If the trick to getting your point across is repetition, it’s the Cicero of spanking implements cuz I understood exactly what it was trying to convey (scratch that – it didn’t try; it just conveyed) the first time and proceeded to say it about thirty more times for emphasis. And I was rapt. It had my total attention. I was glued to my seat (figuratively; in a more literal sense, my sympathetic nervous system took over and did it’s darndest to move my whole body out of reach while Mary demonstrated just how strong and adept at holding down subs getting their bottoms roasted). I like to think I took it it well. I mean, yeah, I was sobbing and, yes, there was moaning and, kinda, there was wailing. So when I say I took it well, what I mean is I did all those things really, really well. Almost like I had experience taking a super hard spanking. Which of course I don’t. Um, really. Cuz I’m well behaved and way too old to be subject that kind of discipline or any discipline at all except self-discipline which I have in spades. Doubt me not. Mary sat down next to me, all calm and tender. They say to calm down before you spank, but spanking is how Mary calms down. She stroked my hair while I rolled over and buried my face against her thigh. When I was able to speak, she asked me in her I’m-not-sorry I-did-that-but-I’m-sorry-you’re-in-pain voice, “Why did you that?” I’m a very self-aware person. No, really. True story. I knew exactly why I did that because I had five whole weeks between doing it and that moment to think it over. “Cuz I’m not a little girl and don’t need permission to do stuff so long as I accept the consequences and I did.” Before you say anything, and like you even get a say (which you don’t!), I’m aware how that sounds. But you’re wrong! It’s not something a little girl would say. It’s what a middle would say. And I’m not one of those either and I should know because, and I already said this but no one seems to listen to me, I’m very self-aware. ‘There goes Daphne,’ people say, ‘She’s very much herself.’ Whatever that even means, but it’s so obviously a compliment we don’t need to interrogate it much or at all really. Really. Mary sighed one of her I’m-sorry-you-get-so-deep-into-your-own-head-that-you-do-such-silly-things. “You know spending that much money, and doing something that big to our home, without asking me isn’t just breaking the rules. It’s also and more importantly not what partners do. Not even if it’s their way of saying something they don’t know how to say.” “I know. I’m so sorry. I won’t ever do anything like that again.” “I hope not. This time you got a spanking; if there’s a next time, we’re just gonna have a fight.” Hoo boy. You think I cry hard when I get battered by the bath brush, but only because I’ve never chronicled a real fight between me and Mary in my diary (which you shouldn’t even be reading, pervert). “Let’s get you re-dressed,” Mary said. She got up and I rolled over onto my back again and winced but, uh, not because it hurt. Why didn’t I stand up instead? Because Mary went to the closet, where the things live. “Your consequence isn’t over. You’re wearing your diapers for the next five days. If you need to go number two, you need to come find me. I’ll take you to the bathroom.” She unfolded the diaper, a big thick one she got a sample of and I think was waiting for the right time to put me in it. She lifted my ankles again. “You’ve got quite the bruised bottom, little girl.” She got the diaper under me. “I’m going to check the bottom after you use the potty, and if you don’t do a perfect job wiping, you’re going to lose the privilege of doing that yourself. Understand?” Aw geez!! “Yes. I’m sorry.” “I know, sweetie, and I accept your apology. You’re also not allowed to be alone the entire time you’re back in diapers.” “You’re grounding me?” That’s a new one. Huh. “If that’s what you want to call it. If you want to go somewhere, you have to ask permission.” “Is that because I did this to make the point I don’t have to ask permission?” “Yep. And you can only go somewhere with me, Nana, or a friend. Not alone and nother another little, either. It has to be Nana or someone who has permission to discipline you. Same if I need to go somewhere. You can come with, go to Nana’s, or go to a friend’s house, or a friend needs to come over to babysit. There, how’s that diaper feel?” “Like you spanked me really hard.” “You needed a really hard spanking.” Instead of picking my shorts up off the floor, Mary went to my dresser and fished through one of my drawers until she came up with the shorts I bought for the ten minutes I thought beach yoga might be my new thing. “You have one more consequence today. You’re going to put these on, you’re going to go write a check for the other half of the sprinkler system, and you’re going to go give it to them.” O! My! Gawd! She’s evil! She’s evil and and … and … stuff! The shorts won’t hide this diaper! The diaper is bigger than the shorts and it’s not even close and they’re gonna know! And I’ve been crying! They probably heard me crying! They might have heard my spanking! I’ve been crying and getting spanked and I’m gonna waddle out there and they’re gonna know I’m wearing a diaper under these … these … They’re not even shorts! They’re practically swim bottoms! How can Mary be so evil! It’s not even ethical! “But Mary!” Do you know how opposed I have to be o whatever Mary is making me do to actually say so after the kind of spanking she gave me? Heccin opposed! “Daphne Ann, no.” “Can you give it to them?” “You know that’s not the point. Besides, this is your chance to prove you’re a big girl. Little girls don’t write checks, right?” “Buh … Fine.” “And when you come back inside …” “If I don’t have a humiliation aneurism.” “… I’ll wash your face, and then you can do whatever you want to do today, but you’re still grounded.” I didn’t, just so my future biographers (especially the unauthorized ones) know, let out the longest, whiniest whine in the history of whining. Didn’t happen. All that happened was I asked Mary, “Um, after you wash my face, can I come hang out in your office?” She smiled. “You’re always my little shadow after a big spanking. You can come in, but you have to do something quiet.” “Okay.” “Should I buy you an activity table so you can hang out in my office and color and stuff?” “… Yes, but not cuz I’m a little girl. It’s just cuz I like hanging out with you.” “Even when we’re not even talking or doing the same thing?” “Of course.” What a weird question. “Me too.” Sigh. She loves me. Now to work up the courage to go face those guys. Crap.

BB’s Nursery and Day Care Chapter 11 As the car backed out of her driveway April repeated her first question “Where are you taking me?” The figure from the front passage seat turned toward the back and said “Please be calm April. We are going to the hospital to see Edna. Do you know where James is? He has disappeared.” It was Rose the liar. “Stop the car! Let me out. I don’t want anything to do with you people. Take your lies and games somewhere else. I hope James is far away from you people.” Rose sighed. She guessed it was too much to expect that April had calmed down a little. She had really hoped that James was with her. He slipped his surveillance this morning. The Agency has his phone and car tagged but he left the house without them. He obviously was not at Edna’s house earlier when she ran into April. They were not quite in panic mode, but the search was about to get heavy. “I’m sorry April but we can’t do that. Edna is about to go under very risky surgery, and she needs to speak to you. After that you are free to go your own way if you wish.” Rose said softly but very firmly. “What do you mean risky surgery? Edna was the picture of health last night when she was pretending to be a friend. Why should I listen to anything you or she have to say anyway?” April growled. She lunged for the door handle, but her effort was easily blocked by the agent between her and the door. “Fine! You want me to talk to her? I have a few things I would like to say as well!” April said as she slumped into her seat. Rose stared back at the angry young women. She reminded her of a young Edna after she found out what they were unknowingly doing at BB’s long ago. She was so mad! “Probably for the best to just lock them both in an empty room let them fight it out” Rose thought. She turned back to face the front of the car and wondered where on earth James was. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Janice was bored. She finished her baba and just stayed splayed out in her bean bag. She wanted her Nanny. Her Nanny was always there for her. She never called her mean names. When Nanny comes home, she wanted cuddles, lots of cuddles. The little room was equipped with a security screen, and it suddenly lit up. Janice sat up at the sudden light and watched the monitor expectantly. Nanny said the if anyone entered the house you could see them from here. Nanny was home! It was not Nanny. There were two men walking around like they were supposed to be here. Janice had never seen them before. She was not supposed to come out if there were strangers in the house. These were definitely strangers. She was starting to get scared. Who were these people? Why were they in Nanny’s house? She tried again to pick up her James coat. James wouldn’t be scared. He would know what to do. Like before there was nothing to hold onto. She grabbed Annie and held her tight. As they moved through the house, they activated more cameras. When the camera activated it popped up on the monitor. The view of each camera getting smaller as more came online. Janice whimpered when the camera in the Nursery popped up. It was a small sound. Her body started to shake. What if they found her? She was too scared to even move. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ The two agents searched Mrs. Nelson house looking for James. He had been missing for some time now. They were quick and moved from room to room. They treated it like a game of hide and seek. They opened closet doors, looked under beds, checked behind the shower curtain. It wasn’t until they hit the nursery that they found any sign of him. There were young girls’ clothes on the floor and when they searched the closet they found James’s clothes, including his keys and wallet. One agent took his phone out and called Mr. Gray. “Gray speaking” said Mr. Gray after picking up his cell phone. “Sir, we have found Mr. Wilder’s clothes, keys and wallet. They were in a closet in what looked like a baby’s room in Mrs. Nelson’s house. We have searched the house and grounds and have found no other sign of him.” the agent reported. “Any sign of struggle?” Mr. Gray asked. “No sir” the agent responded. “Leave someone outside to watch the house in case he comes back” Mr. Gray said. Not sure if it would be James or Janice at this point, he added “Do not approach him. Just keep tabs on him. We will have someone he knows pick him up.” “Yes Sir” said the agent and put his phone away as Mr. Gray had already hung up. +++++++++++++++++++++++ Janice watched the men leave the house and ten minutes later the cameras shut off and the monitor went blank again. She was alone once again. Everything seemed so wrong. The woman James loves and the mommy that hates Janice made her heart hurt. She did not want to think about it, or the tears would fall again. Where was her Nanny? ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Edna waited in a small conference room in one of the hospital’s labyrinth hallways. A call from Mr. Gray to the hospital’s administrators and suddenly a conference room was made available. She tightened her robe and waited for Rose to bring April to her. No more time to play games or try to honor a dead promise. The surgery was scheduled for tomorrow and provided she came out the other side another three or four days here before she could go home. With Janice missing there was no more time for subtlety. April was surprised when they pulled into the hospital parking lot. She did not really believe Rose when she said Edna was going to have surgery. She had just figured it for another lie. She followed Rose as the two agents bracketed them. The one in front leading the way and the one in back a not to subtle warning to not take off. They walked down an endless length of hallways until they came to a single door with a small sign that said conference room G11. The agents stayed outside and there was only the three women remaining. They had come full circle. It was only a few days ago they were in another conference room at BB’s. April chose a chair as far away from Edna as the room would allow. She felt betrayed by the older woman. Betrayed on multiple fronts. Edna ignored April for the moment and looked at Rose and said “They found James’s clothes, wallet and keys in the closet of the nursery. Could James have been hiding the closet when you were there? He may have hidden in there when he heard people enter the house.” “I did not look around, when I got there April was backing out of the nursery and we had some words before she left. Then I got your clothes and stuff. I never looked around.” Rose said with a shrug. April’s mind started to whirl. “Did she see someone at the window? Could that have been James? Why would he hide from me?” she thought. Out loud she said “I only went to your house because I wanted to talk to you about James’s past. I saw his arrest photo in an archived newspaper. I thought I saw some movement behind the window and figured you were ditching me, so I found the spare key and went in.” Rose gave a small gasp and said “If he was there, he may have heard you. Oh, my god! James would never be able to handle that.” She glared at April and said “I hope he was not there. James was struggling earlier, but this kind of thing could break him.” Edna was not sure what she was talking about but if Janice was in the nursery, then there was a chance she would go into the bolt hole. She waved Rose close and whispered instructions to her. Rose looked sharply at Edna and said “Really Edna? A hideout? And you didn’t think to share that information with Mr. Gray?” She held up her hand and said, “I know, he would applaud your ability to keep a secret. You two play nice and I will go see if James is still in your house Edna” she said as she quickly strode from the room. “Honestly Edna and Mr. Gray, two paranoids in a pod” she thought to herself. April stared at Edna; Edna stared at April. It was not a place for the faint of heart. Finally, April barked out “Well you have something to say? Maybe explain why there is a nursery in your house with pictures of my husband dressed as a little girl?” Edna was not bothered by the sharp tone of April’s questions. She looked April in the eye and said “April I’m going to break my promise to James. The time to try and gently lead you to asking me the right questions is over.” Edna leaned back in her chair and said “I told you that there were four young men that were in the nursery portion when BB’s first opened. They were Robert Denison, Charlie Brand, Chris Jones and James Wilder.” April was stunned. She had put stuff together but didn’t go far enough. She thought James was one of the other group. The toddler girls. The ones that recovered. She just stared at Edna. This was much worse than she feared. “Robert Denison or Bobbi was the one who committed suicide. Her death was the catalyst that brought down the evil bastard doctors behind the opening of BB’s. Charlie Brand or Clara was taken by her family, and we have no knowledge of her condition or whereabouts. Although I suspect Mr. Gray does. Chris Jones became Tina Valentine and has been adopted by Rose. Tina tends to move between a three and five year old girl depending on her mood and stress level.” Edna explained. She paused for a moment knowing that April was struggling. “James Wilder or Janice was locked into a five year old girl. Unlike Tina, who suffered severe child abuse, Janice was able to build a persona of what she would have been had she never been experimented on. Her James coat was everything that James should have been. Strong, brave, smart and masculine. She is not two separate people or personalities. It is both more complex and simpler than that. When Janice puts on her James coat, she becomes James. They have the same memories. They just experience the world differently”. Edna said. “So, what you’re saying is I married a five year old girl? Made love to five year old girl? Had a child with a five year old girl!?” April said her voice louder and filled with more revulsion as each question was spat out. She felt unclean, like she molested some little child. She felt like throwing up. “No, you didn’t” Edna said firmly. “Janice has been James ever since he left BB’s and went to college. Janice determined that she needed to live the life that was taken from her. It was James you met in college, James you fell in love with and James who is the father of your child.” “If that is true then why is there a nursery in your house? Why is there a picture of you and him on the wall with him in an easter dress?” April threw back at Edna. Edna sighed “The James coat is not perfect. When Janice feels stressed or scared her control of her James coat slips and the little girl comes out. When that happens, I become Nanny to her. I have been her Nanny for over 30 years. Sometimes she needs to cuddle, sometimes she needs to see her stuffed animals.” She was careful to leave out the breast feeding. She looked April in the eye and said “Sometimes she finds out her wife may have breast cancer and then needs time in the nursery to find herself. To control her coat.” April thought back to that horrible time. It was a terrible wait for the biopsy result to come back. She knew they all suffered but James was her rock throughout the process. He was there for her panicked tears and sleepless nights. Except, he wasn’t there that one morning when she woke up. He said he was out walking, needed some time to clear his head. Could he have been at Edna’s house? Playing baby? “If all this is true then why hide it from me? I needed to know this before I committed my life with someone!” April said. “James would not do it. I told him you needed to know. That you deserved to know. But he was scared and when he is scared the little girl comes through. He did not want to lose you. James would not take a chance.” Said Edna. “You need to understand how lonely Janice was. She has no memory from before BB’s. She only knows some of her past from what we told her. She has no family except for the few of us that were there at the time. Her best friend Tina refused to grow up, preferring to stay a child. She is haunted by dreams and vague memories of a horrific childhood. She and Janice eventually parted ways as neither could understand the other at the time.” Edna said. “The biggest hurt of all was I couldn’t take a chance and be her mommy. We couldn’t risk her being tied into childhood by having a mommy. We used that hurt to push her into building her coat. I’ve regretted that decision so much at night when I can’t sleep for the guilt weighing me down. But in the cold light of day, I know it was the right decision.” Edna stood, her face running with tears. She turned her back to April for a moment trying to get her composure back. If April walks out on James, if she survives this damn surgery, she will take that broken girl and be her mommy. The mommy that Edna always felt was inside her heart. April pushed back from the table. She needed air. She stumbled from the room and picked a direction and just started walking. This was too much. She needed to think. She saw a sign ahead that said ‘Cafeteria, Open to the public 7am-10pm’. Coffee sounded good right now. She turned and followed the arrows, not noticing the agent that followed from a discreet distance behind her. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Rose found herself back at Edna’s house for the second time. She let herself in and after waving at the agent in the car out front, she closed the door. She had no idea if Janice was in the house or what shape she would be when she found her. She went to the nursery hoping that Janice was playing there or napping in her crib. The nursery was empty. Still no sign of Janice. Rose picked up the framed picture from the floor and hung it back on the wall. She always thought Janice looked so pretty in that dress. Awkwardly Rose lowered herself to the floor and crawled under the crib. She pushed and shoved at various points on the wall. Edna was not very specific about how to open the door. She was just about to give up when she heard a click and watched the door swing open. Finally. She crawled through the door and stood up inside the narrow passage. In front of her was a very steep set of stairs. She slowly and quietly climbed the stairs. If Janice was here, she did not want to scare her. She reached the top of the stairs and sighed with intense relief. Thank God! Janice was here. Her niece was sprawled out napping in her beanbag chair, her wet pullup fully on display. An empty baby bottle on the floor next to her. When Rose adopted Tina, she also became Janice’s unofficial Auntie. Just like Edna was for Tina. Tina and Janice were close then, like two little cousins having fun together. It was very hard on Tina when Janice became James. She took out her phone and sent emails to both Edna and Mr. Gray detailing that she found Janice and was taking her to the hospital. Judging by Janice’s condition she was pretty sure the little girl heard everything April said earlier. The wet pullup was a bad sign. A trip to the hospital will probably mean at least a night in the crib. She will have to take her to BB’s. Both Tina and Tammi Lee might be able to help her. God help us all if Edna does not pull through. At least in the short term and maybe in the long term April will be of no help. Next, she sent a text to Marge Please prepare Nursery #1 for Tina and Janice. Go ahead and bring in a second crib. I will entertain Tina when I get back while Tammi Lee breast feeds. I don’t want Tina to feel left out. She paused for a minute, sighed and typed Tell Becky not to pump her breasts tonight. I think we will need that to comfort Janice. She would need to think about Tina. She did not want her to regress. She knelt next to the sleeping child and gently stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. She watched her eyes flutter open. Her face went from scared to surprised and settled into a big smile. “Auntie Rose! I missed you” Janice said. “I missed you too sweetie. Do you have a kiss for your favorite Auntie?” Rose said. She opened her arms wide and braced herself. She learned long ago that they tended to forget how big they were when they were truly being their mental age. When Janice hit her lap, she was ready, and they did not topple over backwards. Barely. Janice did not quite tackle her Auntie, but she ended up sitting in her lap with legs wrapped around Auntie’s waist. She kissed her twice and tucked her head into her Auntie’s neck and began to cry. She mumbled through her tears “I was scared…strangers in Nanny’s house…waited and waited…….No Nanny…Where’s Nanny...” and then big body shaking sobs “just a twisted freak …April hates Janice..No Mommy…no wife.” Rose rocked the child and held her close. This was so bad. She must have been in closet when April went off. She liked April but right this minute she hated her. They may never get James’s back. “Shhhush baby. It will be ok. It will all be ok. We love you so much. Auntie Rose loves you. Nanny loves you. It will be ok baby.” Nanny said in a soft soothing voice. She rubbed her back and after a few minutes the sobs settled down and she could hear the sounds of a thumb being sucked. She rocked Janice back and forth for a while longer and said “Let’s go see Nanny.” Janice unclasped her legs and rolled off Auntie’s lap. She stood up and gave a very small smile and said “We can go see Nanny?” “Yes sweetie, let’s get you changed first though” Rose said. “Ok, Auntie Rose” Janice said and followed her Auntie down the very narrow stairs and back into the nursery. Rose led the girl over to the changing table and quickly stripped her down. Then she had the naked child climb up onto the changing table and lay down. She buckled the chest strap and set about cleaning her up. She was happy to see that James kept his adult body hairless. It was so much easier to wash and clean a baby without body hair. She carefully wiped her down. She did her thighs and legs too as she noticed that some leakage must have occurred earlier. She reached under the table and pulled out a diaper. It was a bit of a test. Where was Janice right now? Janice saw the diaper and pouted for just a bit but said nothing. She lifted her hips and let her Auntie slide the disposable diaper under her. Rose saw the pout but was a bit disappointed that there was no verbal protest. She would have to have a wheelchair ready at the hospital. Janice would be full on infant mode after seeing her Nanny there. She liberally applied a coating of baby powder before taping the diaper snuggly around Janice’s waist. She checked the leg openings and was satisfied that it would not leak. She gently tickled her niece’s belly until her delightful giggles filled the room. Janice always had the sweetest little giggle. She helped her niece down from the table and gave her a firm swat on her diaper and said “Gather up your lovies while I get you some clothes to wear.” “Ok, Auntie” she said. She looked into her crib, but they were not there. Then she remembered that they were upstairs. She said “Auntie Rose they are upstairs. Can I go get them?” “Yes dear. Be careful on the steps” Rose answered a bit distractedly as she pondered what outfit to put Janice in. She was still mad at April, so she decided that a sweet dress was called for. She chose a red dress with three big white buttons on the front. It had short sleeves and would come to midthigh on Janice. It had white lace accents and was a perfect dress for a sweet little girl. She found a pair of ankles socks and black shoes. Knowing that Janice would be flashing her diaper whenever she bent over. She went back to the changing table and added a diaper cover with layers of red and white lace across the bottom. April would just have to deal with it. Next, she grabbed some pj’s for later tonight. Janice has lots of clothes at BB’s but it will take a bit to get them from storage. Better to be prepared now. Janice grabbed her stuff and headed back down to the nursery. The hidden room was no fun without her Nanny there. She put her stuffies in the crib and went to stand by her Auntie. “The pretty red dress Auntie? I love it!” she squealed and gave a little spin. “Yes! The red dress! Or would you rather dress up like James in some big boy clothes?” she said testing the girl some more. “Coat is browken, want pretty dress” she said with a slight slur. No more testing, it just seemed to make things worse. Janice looked and acted happy but was on the edge of a total collapse. “Let’s make my special girl look even prettier than she is now” she said. She held out the diaper cover and lent her shoulder to Janice for balance as she stepped into the leg holes. She pulled the cover up and into place. She loved the look of Janice in just her lace covered diaper. She realized she was taking too long and quickly dressed her in the rest of her clothes. Janice’s hair was short and there was not much she could do with it. However, she was able to add a couple of red barrettes to her temples. She stood up and said, “Pretty as a picture!”. Janice blushed and gave her Auntie a fun little curtsy and said “Thank you Auntie!” Rose grabbed up the large Olaf covered diaper bag and made sure there were extra diapers, wipes, baby powder and plastic bags for dirty diapers. She stopped by the crib and handed Janice Annie and asked about Smokey. Janice hugged her Annie and said “Smokey wants to stay here and watch over my nursery Auntie.” “That sounds like a good idea to me” Rose said. She grabbed Janice’s free hand and went to the kitchen. She filled two bottles with water and one with apple juice and put them into the diaper bag. Soon Janice was buckled into Tina’s oversized car seat. She gave Janice the bottle of juice and double checked there was a pacifier in the bag. There was. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Janice was enjoying her juice and not thinking about much of anything. Thinking was not fun right now. She just wanted her nanny to tell her she loved her, and everything was going to be ok. She was very surprised when Nanny pulled into the hospital parking lot. Her juice bottle slipped from suddenly weak fingers. “Auntie, why is nanny here?” she asked with a very small voice. She did not like this place. Rose said nothing as she guided the car through the parking lot. A minute later they were parked near an unmarked door with an agent standing before it. She got out of the car and moved to the back seat. She climbed in and sat next to Janice. She took a hold of her hand and said “I need you to be brave little girl for your Nanny sweetie. Your Nanny is going to have surgery tomorrow. She wanted to see you more than anything in the whole world. Can you be a big girl for me and your Nanny?” Janice had tears in her eyes as she said “I will trwy Auntie, but I scared, will Nanny be ok?” Rose said “I think so honey. Hopefully everything will go ok tomorrow. Let’s go see her. Ok?” Then she added “It is ok to cry if you need to. Big girls cry too.” All Janice could do was nod. As they crossed the parking area to the now open door she clung to her Auntie’s arm and sniffled. As they walked the deserted hallways Janice’s sniffles increased to tears and sobs. When they reached an open door with a lit room beyond, Janice could see her Nanny sitting in a chair at the far side of the room. She let go of her Auntie and rushed into the room. Her focus was on her nanny. She never saw April who had been returning from the cafeteria. Janice shot across the room and flung herself to her knees and wrapped her arms around her Nanny. Her head in her Nanny’s lap and pressed tightly against her stomach. “Nanny, I love you, oh Nanny, I missed you so much” she said crying and sobbing in the lap of the one person who she knew loved her and wanted her. April was momentarily stunned by the transformation of James. By all rights he should have looked ridiculous in the childish dress and shoes. James carried himself just like a small child, moved like a little girl. It was too natural to be faked. She cautiously approached the door and stepped next to a silently weeping Rose. She saw her husband being consoled by Edna. Slowly stroking his hair and singing a soft little song. It was filled with love and compassion. Edna looked down upon James with all the love any mother could have had for her child. He looked like a three year old girl, with his red dress and oh so very cute rhumba panties with all the lace sticking out. “It over Nanny, she don’t want me no more. She hate me. She said mean things. Oh, Nanny please don’t leave me…pwease…I love you Nanny pwease be ok” Janice said between sobs. Her speech getting more and more slurred and more childish. Finally falling silent Janice stuck her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes and let her nanny sing to her. April put her hand over her mouth as she listened to her husband speak. She let out a small gasp as she realized that he had heard what she had thoughtlessly said in the hallway of Edna’s house. She took an involuntary step backwards. Her guilt was heavy but the whole thing was so beyond insane. Her husband was never real. He was only a little girl. She stepped back again. She turned from the room. Her eyes met Rose’s eyes and she could hear her whisper harshly “You are a goddamn coward and a fool!” Those words echoed in her mind and followed all the way out of the building. She ignored the agents, ignored the people in the hallways. Ignored everything except the hateful words Rose had spat at her. Finally in the parking lot she realized she had no car. Edna never saw April leave. She was past caring about April’s feelings. She had all she needed right here. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ An hour later Edna was alone in her room. She had got to hold her baby and she was happy. She was scared about tomorrow, but she knew that now she could go through with it. She would just have to let Rose handle things until and if she ever got out of this damn hospital. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It was an hour later and an uber was dropping her out front of her house. She quickly packed a bag and got into her car. She needed someone to talk to. Forget the damn NDA. Her best friend from college lived about four hours south. She used a hands-free driving app to call her. After three rings she heard a feminine voice say “Hello.” “Hi Julia, it’s April” April said. “Oh, Hi April. My god it’s good to hear from you. How have you been?” Julia said with the happiness only a surprise call from a missed friend good cause. ‘Not so good Julia” April said barely holding of the sobs that threatened to come out. Julia could hear the pain in April’s voice “What’s wrong? Are you ok? Where is James?” “It’s complicated, very complicated. I’m not with James right now. I really need someone to talk to and maybe cry on. Do you mind putting me up for a day or two?” April asked. “Of course, April, Mark and I would love to have you. You can stay as long as you need to. Are you ok? Do you need us to come get you?” Julia asked, her voice carrying her concern that this might be some domestic violence thing. Although she found it hard to believe the gentle man, she knew in college would ever hit April. “No, you don’t need to come get me. As a matter of fact, I’m already on the way. I should be there in about four hours or so. Are you sure it’s ok?” April said. “Not a problem. The spare guest room will be waiting for you. We can talk all night if want to, just drive safe.” Julia said. “Thank You so much Julia. You’re such a good friend.” April said. “I know. You’re really the lucky one. See you soon.” Julia said and hung up. April smiled grimly and concentrated on getting onto the freeway overpass. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Rose used the wheelchair to deliver Janice back to the car. She was not talking, just sucking her thumb. She whimpered when taken from her Nanny but that was all. It was hard to tell how young she was feeling. She might well have walked back to the car, but Rose was not going to take the chance. She had one of the agents pick her up and put her into her car seat. Once seated Rose gently took her thumb out of her mouth and replaced it with a bottle of water. She was extremely happy to hear a slurred voice say “Tank you, Auntie” followed by the sucking sounds of Janice working her baby bottle. Maybe Janice was not as far down the rabbit hole as she feared. When they pulled into BB’s Marge came out to meet them. She knew Janice from a few meetings, but she was a professional Nanny and scooped up Janice and carried her toward the building. It helped that she was younger and stronger than Rose. She used a happy carefree voice and said “Hi baby girl. Do you remember me? I’m Nanny Marge and I’m so happy to see you. You sure look pretty in that dress. Do you feel pretty?” No little girl can resist the lure of being called pretty. Despite feeling an emotional wreck Janice could not help but reply. With but the tiniest of shy smiles she nodded her head. Nanny Marge gave her a big squeeze. She said “Would you like to have some dinner? Tina would be so happy to see you. Do you want to see Tina?” Janice suddenly perked up. She forgot Tina was here. She suddenly kissed Nanny Marge on the cheek and with a slur said “Pwease Nanny, I see Tina. I miss her.” Rose opened the door to BB’s and said “Nanny Marge please take Janice to Nursery #1, and I will have the poopy princess bring Tina over. I need to have a chat with our other child.” She was not yet ready to mention Tammi Lee to Janice. This was another meeting that had potentially poor ramifications. Nanny Marge simply said “Yes, Head Mistress” and turned toward Nursery #1 while the Head Mistress continued to Nursery #4. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Head Mistress opened the door to Nursery #4. She got two steps and she heard “Mommy!” Her Tina was sitting with Tammi Lee in the playpen. Tina hopped up and ran to the edge of the playpen and excitedly pointed and said “Mommy, look it is Janice’s little sister Tammi Lee. We have been having so much fun Mommy!” The Head Mistress was a little confused by that but then she looked at Tammi Lee from Tina’s perspective. Tammi Lee looked a lot like Janice. Even more so, how Janice looked when she first got here. She could see why Tina would jump to that conclusion. Janice, having a child would be a bit too much for Tina to consider. She walked to the playpen and gave Tina a big hug and a wet noisy kiss to the neck which caused Tina to explode into giggles. She opened the gate and led Tina out. “Let’s go get some dinner sweetie. I have a big surprise for you.” The Nursery door opened and Becky the poopie princess came in. With a leery voice she said, “You wanted to see me Head Mistress?” She couldn’t help but feel like she had done something else wrong, and she did not want any more punishment. The Head Mistress picked up on her obvious distress and gave her an evil smile. She said, “Please take Tina to Nursery #1 and help Marge with feeding Tina.” She turned to Tina and said “Go with the poopie princess and Nanny Marge will show you your surprise.” She gave Tina another quick kiss and a pat to her butt. Tina turned and while waving to Tammi Lee said “Bye Tammi Lee. Luv you.” She received a friendly wave in return and turned to the poopie princess and took her hand. As they left, she said excitedly “Can we do the poopie dance? Please?” The Head Mistress did not need to hear the poopie princess’s response because she knew that it had to be “Yes! Sounds fun!” The Head Mistress closed the door and walked over to the spanking chair and sat down. She was already tired and there was a lot to do before heading back to the hospital. She was going to spend the night holding her best friend’s hand. It might just be the last time. “Nanny Veronica please scoop up Tammi Lee and get comfortable in the rocking chair. I have a story to tell and some news to share.” the Head Mistress said. Nanny V was suddenly worried and a bit scared. Was this about why Tammi Lee was here and being treated so differently? Why did the Head Mistress look so tired? Nanny V opened the play pen and lifted Tammi Lee into her arms. She absently gave her kiss on the cheek and then settled into the big rocking chair. The Head Mistress was not sure were to start when she noticed the names painted on the wall. Perfect, she thought. She looked at Tammi Lee and said “I need you to stay in your Nanny’s arms while I explain this to you Tammi Lee. It is very important that you listen to everything I have to say. When I’m done, I will let you speak and ask questions. You may call me Head Mistress. Now do you understand what I have laid out for you?” Tammi Lee gulped a little and said “Yes, Head Mistress.” Whatever she was going to tell him she was pretty sure she would not like it. Nobody leads off this way when they want to tell you good news. The Head Mistress pointed at the list of names on the wall and said “These are the names of every troubled youth who has ever come through our program. You can see that your name, Tammi Lee, is on the bottom of the list. These troubled young men come through are program and are given a new name while they are with us. Once they leave here, they leave the name behind with us.” The Head Mistress stood up and crossed the room. She ran her fingers across the first four names. She sighed and said “Except for these four names. Janice, Tina, Bobbi and Clara.” Nanny Veronica listened raptly as the Head Mistress explained what happened long age and how much different things were today. She had never heard this history before. It was both exciting and nauseating. How could those people have done that to innocent people? “We were able to help everyone recover except for these four. Bobbie Denison committed suicide before we even knew there was a problem. Clara Brand’s parents took her away and I don’t know if she ever recovered. Tina Jones became Tina Valentine. My daughter. She is no longer Chris Jones. For her, being a little girl was an escape from a brutal past and there was no desire to be anything more. Did you see anything else in her today when you played with her?” asked the Head Mistress. Nanny V spoke first and said “No Head Mistress. She is all little girl. I have never seen anything masculine or grownup. She is a perfectly sweet girl all the time.” “Hah, she is just like any other little girl. She can be moody and throw a tantrum like you wouldn’t believe” she said. The laugh was an unexpected but welcome surprise. Tammi Lee was not really listening. Her mind was racing. Playing back all the things Tina had said to her, what her dad had said to her. Her voice was filled with tears as she asked the question for which she feared that she already had the answer “What about Janice? You have not mentioned her? What became of her?” She could feel Nanny V’s arms around her tighten with surprise at Tammi Lee’s outburst, obviously not yet following the logic path that Tammi Lee had. “You already know the answer Tommy” she responded softly, the Head Mistress deliberately using Tommy’s real name. “How, how can that be? My dad is not a little girl. He is everything you could want in a father! He is brave, strong, and educated. All the things you expect from a grown man” Tammi Lee said her voice rising a bit. “You’re right Tommy, he is all those things plus a husband, lover and friend to your mother.” She added. She went on to explain how they were able to build up Janice and allow her to have a fairly normal life. The life Janice could have had if not for BB’s. She explained how James’s mental coat worked and that Janice was still really at the core. That Janice had no memories of what went on before. “Now we come to the problem Tommy. When James is under extreme pressure or stress, she struggles to retain control of her James coat. More and more Janice will appear. We have several high stress points happening right now. First was your coming to BB’s. Do you know why you’re really hear Tommy?” she asked. She paused for just a moment and said “Yes, you screwed up but you are not usually given such a harsh treatment for what you did. Edna took advantage of your situation and arranged this time here. She wanted you to experience some of what your father went through. Janice built her coat on the foundation that Edna was always going to be there for her, always be her Nanny. That is why Edna has always been a fixture in your lives. She wants you to help be a support for Janice’s James coat.” Tammi Lee asked “What about my mom? Doesn’t she know? Can’t she be a support?” The Head Mistress shook her head and slumped back into her chair. She said “Your Mom did not know about Janice. Your father refused to tell her about it before they got married. Janice was deathly afraid to lose April. Janice through James loves your mother very deeply. So, despite all of our urging, James refused to tell her. Now we are in even worse shape. Your mother found out. She was exploring Edna’s house and discovered evidence of Janice. Your Mom did not take it very well. She went off on me, very loudly I must say. She said a whole bunch of things she probably didn’t mean and stormed off.” “That sounds like my mom. She can really yell when she is mad at you” Tammi Lee said. “Well, that’s not the worst of it. Unbeknownst to either of us your father overheard your mother’s tirade. This caused severe damage to her James’s coat. She could not even try to slip into it earlier.” She said. “Another thing you don’t know, and almost none of the staff knows is that Edna is having surgery tomorrow to remove a brain tumor. It is very risky and there is a chance she might not make it. Please Veronica, keep this to yourself as much as possible. I will make a staff wide announcement later tonight so that those who wish can send up their prayers.” the Head Mistress said. Nanny V squeezed Tammi Lee and started to cry. All of this and poor Mrs. Nelson getting surgery too? “I will follow your wishes Head Mistress” said Nanny V between small sobs. The Head mistress nodded and turned her attention to Tammi Lee and said “I’m going to give you two choices Tommy. You can leave here immediately and chase after your mother. She fled the hospital after seeing Edna holding your distraught father or you can continue the program and help your father become James someday. I do not know where your mom went other than she is no longer at your house. As for your dad, he is here at BB’s. There is no James right now, only Janice. It is my hope that your interaction and you eventually going through the various stages of your program will help Janice be able to regain some control.” Tammi Lee felt bad for his mom, but she chose to run away from this. Hopefully not far and not for long. It was an easy decision to make, he would do anything to help his dad. Anything. “I want to help my dad Head Mistress. Tell me what to do!” Tammi Lee implored. She smiled. At least something today was predictable. “Thank you, Tammi Lee. For now, continue following the rules. Nanny Veronica will feed you and before your bath I will bring both Tina and Janice back to play. If your dad pops up, you have my permission to answer like Tommy. But if it does not then don’t push it. We need to do this slowly. There is no need to rush things.” +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Suzy was almost home. Being head of security at BB’s was such a rush. That Tammi Lee really turned her on. As she pulled into the driveway, she scooped up today’s video of nursery shenanigans to show her wife. They would have a hot time after dinner. She walked into the quiet house and noticed immediately there was no dinner smell. It was unusual because Peggy hated spending their money on delivery. She was an excellent cook and had said something about lasagna before Suzy left this morning. She had entered through the front door, and it was not until she got even with the hallway that led to the bedrooms, did she see the destruction. The hallway pictures were strewn across the floor and there looked like a smear of blood too. She raced down the hallway yelling “Peggy, Peggy are you ok. Are you hurt?” There was no answer. There were signs of a struggle in the bedroom too. She did a quick search of the house and Peggy was nowhere to be found. She settled into a kitchen chair and pulled out her cell phone. There were protocols to follow if this sort of thing happens. She started to dial when the phone slipped from her hand and crashed to the floor. In the middle of the table was a large manilla envelope. Taped to the outside was a picture of Peggy and she was bloody and bruised. Worst of all was the large knife being held to her throat by an unseen person standing behind her. Underneath the picture written in bold black sharpie was the words “OPEN ME”. Her hands trembled as she fumbled with the envelope. When it was finally opened, she dumped the contents onto the tabletop. There was a full dozen glossy photos of her beloved wife. Each worse than the one before. Especially the last one where there was a naked man laying in bed with her bound form. The threat obvious and rampant. Amongst the photos were several pages of demands. She put her face in her hands a wept deep into the night. (This is Chapter 11. I hope to have many parts as we follow Tommy’s summer of fun. Coming up Tammi Lee meets Janice, Edna preps for surgery, and April has an eye-opening discussion with her college friend. (CCApril@Proton.me)).

Well on this site you all just fell short of the required 30 likes with 25... Fortunately Wattpad provided 35, so I'll bring the next chapter to both sites! Please keep those likes coming, as they help me keep my writing motivation up! Chapter 22: Obstacles I FOUND MY head swiveling around the best I could from within the carrier strapped to Grandma. The ‘Toys and Games’ aisle for Littles had an ominous feel about it, and I felt the hairs on my arms stick up in response. Reading the labels we passed, it seemed my body’s natural flight instinct was kicking in for a good reason! If you took the row at its face value, it would have seemed like your average baby toy aisle at a toy store. I suspected many an annoyed Little probably didn’t even pay attention to the things around them as they tried to plan their escapes or didn’t want to encourage their captor. Those would have been huge mistakes to make, though! I saw a whole section of ‘Crawling Companions’ labeled that were supposed to encourage the Littles to crawl after them. One example said, ‘If your Little walks or runs, they’ll never be able to catch their new friend, but if they decide to crawl, they’ll catch them after a couple minutes of nap-inducing activity!’ I guessed their purpose was to reward Littles for crawling enough that walking wouldn’t seem the way to go… Next were some stuffed animals, hundreds of varieties, that simply said ‘Furry Pals’ on them and included a QR code to scan for more information. ‘I’m sure those have to be bad for you?’ I wondered. I turned my head to try and look up at Grandma to ask her, but I couldn’t catch her attention. We passed into a virtual reality gear section, and I saw one labeled ‘Crawl Pad Goggles.’ A quick look at the information card said it was a virtual electronic pad that would motivate users to crawl through fun games and challenges. It could even help with encouraging the use of their diapers… I shuddered as the hologram showed us a smaller stack of EdgeSphere branded items. “Now, these are typically only used early in your adoption process, as they tend to be too advanced for most Littles? The NeoInfant brand is more commonly used for most Littles to be looked after?” I followed her hand and saw a much larger set of products spanned a good chunk of the aisle. More ‘scan for information’ signage was present there, and I was beginning to understand the game. ‘An adopted Little probably won’t have a phone to scan them… I wonder what details it gives?’ I leaned in with Grandma as she grabbed a size ‘infant’ set of goggles. “These are the standard ones in a smaller size, correct? No additional programming?” “Not unless you add it later. You can use parental controls to control access to games and updates.” Grandma grabbed a few other accessories, including a case, before saying, “Thanks for your help, Grace. That’s all we needed.” “You’re welcome; please call me again if you need any more assistance.” “These should work and be safe,” Grandma told me. “What exactly do those codes say?” I whispered and motioned as we passed by the stuffed animals again. “They tell about all of the special hypnotic features they have… Those stuffies help make nighttime wetting happen first, then daytime coordination suffers, and soon you have a Little at the customs level you want them.” I shuddered, and she gave me a loving squeeze. “Let’s get out of here; this was the last item I wanted to purchase for you here.” As we reached the checkout, I observed a Little woman in a cart. Her panties were showing due to the cart’s seat holes, so I realized she wasn’t regressed. Yet… Her mommy held one of those toy bears, “Nelly, I’m sure you’ll just love playing with her!” The woman looked sure of the opposite being the truth, judging by the sour expression on her face! Grandma went to a neighboring checkout who handled the goggles and accessories. A holographic clerk quickly checked us out, and we returned to the car. Grandma carefully unhooked me out of the harness and momentarily sat me on the ground. “I should have asked if you needed to go potty before we left?” “I could go at some point, but I can wait until we get to the next store?” “It’s not too far,” she told me. Then, without warning, she picked me up and started threading me into the infant carrier again. Again, the straps felt just as claustrophobic, but we were at the next destination a few minutes later, and she pulled me out of the car. “Does the harness still work for you?” she asked me. I realized we were at a mall, “As long as you can carry me?” She laughed, “Other than your auntie and mommy, I don’t think I’ve carried an adult Little so light!” It was odd being attached to her, but it was comforting knowing that I was protected from all the other giants walking around by one just as tall! At the door to get in, a tall teenage girl held the door open for us, “Have fun shopping with the cutie!” she said as we passed. I blushed. Mom had described the malls as one of the most insane places she would visit with friends and family, and I soon saw why! Within the span of three stores, I saw three Littles being breastfed as their mommies walked around, two Littles with their diapers pulled down getting bare bottom spankings, and another screaming, “I’m an adult, you can’t do this to me!” I could just make out the wet pants she had been wearing, now discarded on the floor beside her. I could help but feel bad for her! “Don’t worry, we’re not buying too many things here; I just want to make sure you have some clothes you can blend in better on the weekends with us.” “Baby clothes?” I asked nervously. “Little clothes,” she corrected, “Nothing too babyish. Though I might get a couple of outfits that are a bit more so for you, just in case we need them.” “Bathroom first?” I reminded her. “Sure!” She said, “I’d almost forgotten! I’m used to your auntie and your mommy, who that was never an issue! I blushed at that, even as she walked down a hallway with the traditional bathroom signs leading to it. BETH AND HER parents talked back and forth with her trying to calm them down. “Beth, this is getting dangerous,” her mom said. “Beth, I bet we could still get you a transfer here?” Her dad worriedly said himself. “I know some people in Hamilton’s admissions office? I could have you transferred and in school here by next week?” “But my friends are here!” Beth complained, “I like it here at Emerson!” “I know you like it there, sweetie, but I’m scared…” Her dad said. She knew he meant more than just the simple words of worrying about his Tweener daughter. “I know, Daddy,” she told him. “I promise I’ll be careful. After whatever you said to Dr. Barnes, I’m pretty sure he won’t let anything bad happen to me.” Her parents sighed then. “I hope so,” her mom said. “Did you ever meet up with Connor again?” Her dad asked. “Actually, I think he may be part of what caused all of this,” she told him. “Just who did his mom piss off while she was here?” “Who didn’t she piss off?” Her dad responded. “She had a way of always being in the right place to cause the most disruption. And whenever they tried to do something to her, she wriggled out of the situation…?” “If it’s him that they’re after, would it help to stay away?” her mom asked. “I doubt it at this point,” she told her. “Kelly already hated me.” “If you’re going to insist on staying there… can we at least insist on some protection?” “Like what?” Beth asked. “How about a Holo Assistant? Tessa used to help you a lot when you were growing up?” her mom suggested. “Mom, I don’t need a nanny!” She tried not to shout. “I’m not saying you do, sweetheart, but one could keep an eye on your room while you’re gone. She could also look out for you while you sleep and even help with some of the chores around your room while you’re at class.” “But what if…?” “What if?” Her mom asked. “What if one of my friends sees her! It would be like a big billboard saying, ‘This is a little girl who needs more help; she can’t live on her own!’” “They wouldn’t…” Her mom tried to say. Her dad interrupted, “Honey, she’s right. It would be like waving a red cape before a bull.” “What about a security guard?” Her mom suggested next. “Yeah, Mom, just what I want to do? Walk around with one of Dad’s bodyguards?” She inwardly groaned, “I will never have a social life again!” “Sweetheart,” her dad told her mom, “let’s talk about this later. I don’t think we’re doing anything but frustrating each other. We’ll come up with a solution that will keep her safe somehow….” He sighed, “Though I would much prefer you return to New Haven for school!” I COULDN’T HONESTLY believe I was wearing something almost normal when we walked out of the mall! A pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I might have brought from back home left me feeling mostly normal! Well, except for the training pants I wore… and the fact I was being carried in a baby carrier by a giant grandmother three times my height! Little things in the grand scheme of life! Grandma quickly helped me find four pairs of jeans, a couple pairs of slacks, a couple pairs of athletic pants, some shirts, socks, and pajamas that could make up enough of a wardrobe I wouldn’t have to haul clothes back, and forth to campus. We’d also stopped by the store with swimsuits and picked up a couple more for their place. “Here, let’s get you situated in here,” Grandma said, undoing the harness and again buckling me up. “Just to warn you, this is more of a drive; I know we just stopped at the restroom, but let me know if you need to stop again. We live outside of town.” I shook my head, “I should be good,” even as she buckled the harness down and pulled at the straps. “I should have gotten you a car seat coat while we were at it… But luckily, this week, we have a warm front. I think it’s supposed to be colder again next week, though.” “Ugh,” I said, “I know Mom said it gets cold here, but I was hoping this was more normal?” Grandma laughed, “Definitely not! Week before last, we were down below freezing for several weeks straight. I believe next week it’s supposed to return to that.” “Does everyone on campus have coats?” I asked, suddenly thinking about the trips between buildings. “Umm… At least the native Littles bring coats?” she told me hesitantly. I felt my stomach turn slightly, wondering if my fellow students had coats? She started the vehicle on its way, and I could see the road passing by. Something about the smooth ride of the car put me quickly to sleep. BETH HAD CASSIE, Livy, and Desiree all in her room, sitting on her desk chair, bed, and the bean bag chair in the corner. “Seriously, my parents tried to tell me I needed our old HoloNanny!” Cassie snorted, “That would have been adorable!” “More like a death sentence,” Beth said. “Yeah, there would have been more blood in the water,” Livy agreed. “Next thing you know, they would have just insisted you move into Sanders Hall.” “That would be horrible, especially if you had Nevaeh as a Nest Mate!” Desiree said. “I can’t believe they did that to her,” Livy said. “Well, I’m guessing it was ultimately her choice,” Beth told them. “Huh?” Desiree asked. “As a Mid, you can’t just be put into the Littles dorm. They have to give you a choice of expulsion or that.” Beth told them. “Leave it to Miss Lawyer here to know the law,” Cassie razzed her. “It’s not my fault my dad is a total law nerd… plus I researched it myself before returning here.” “Returning here?” Livy questioned her. “Didn’t you grow up out east?” Beth sighed, “You all really are my best friends in the whole world, you know that, right?” “Right?” the three said together. “Ugh… I don’t think I can do this…” Beth pulled at her hair a bit nervously. “Then don’t,” Cassie said. “Whatever it is, we’ll wait until you’re ready to tell us.” “Thanks,” Beth said. “How about we go out for dinner tonight?” Cassie suggested. “We just did that yesterday?” Beth said. “True, but how many times will we actually have time to do that once we start classes Monday?” Desiree said. “How about that new stir-fry place?” Cassie suggested. “Ugh… you all are going to make me fat!” Beth complained, “Okay, go get your things. I’ll set up a Luxuria pickup.” “We can just take a Bruber; you don’t have to spend the extra?” Cassie said. “It’s not spending anything,” Beth told her. “My family has an account. So we do that instead of everyone having their own vehicle.” “Do you not have any cars at home?” Desiree asked, surprised. “Just one for Mom and Dad.” “That’s kind of weird,” Livy said, “I’ve even got a car back home!” “That golf cart doesn’t count, Livy!” Cassie kidded her. After a brief tickling match that Cassie dominated, they all left to get their things. Beth grabbed her purse and ensured everything was locked up and recording before heading downstairs to meet them and their ride. I KNEW THAT Mom said Grandma and Grandpa had a big house, but I had no idea it was a walled-off estate! I had woken up just as the vehicle slowed down and a gate opened before us. Directly in front of us was a huge two-story house that seemed to extend the size of a large office building back home! It was a beautiful home with mature trees planted around it and probably a beautiful flower garden in the summer. The trees were missing their leaves, but I could tell it was usually a pretty yard. To the right of the house, in the distance, I could see another smaller house that looked to be almost my size in design. Grandma came out and unbuckled me, setting me on my feet, just as Grandpa, Bella, and my two cousins Ryan and Shelby came out from the house. All three were wearing ‘normal’ clothing, with Bella’s dress easily hiding any shape of a diaper from view. I grabbed my backpack from underneath ‘my’ car seat and straightened up again to greet them. “Hi,” I said nervously. Auntie Bella wasn’t accepting that; her head only came up to my shoulders, but she grabbed me in a big hug equal to Grandma’s, “I’m so glad you were able to come!!!” I smiled at her as she pushed me away, “Me too.” Ryan was nearly two feet taller than me, so as I reached up to shake his hand, it was a little bit of a stretch, like with a child and an adult back home. But, unfortunately, I learned the other night that he was a few inches short of that Betweener mark. “Good to see you again,” he said. “Mom can’t have all of the hugs,” Shelby told me as she wrapped me in a hug. My head ended up awkwardly at her chest level as she hugged me. “I’m glad to meet you for real; the restaurant the other night doesn’t count!” I laughed nervously, “It was a bit busy that night.” She grabbed my hand, “Grandma, you said he’s staying in Aunt Stacy’s old room?” “Yes, do you want to show him where it’s at? Then, we’ll grab the things we picked up shopping.” “Sure,” the seventeen-year-old said. “Come on.” “Are you always this energetic?” I asked as she led me inside the massive and quite beautiful house. “Pretty much!” she told me. “Well, except at school, where I have to make sure I don’t attract attention…?” When we came to the stairs, I gaped, realizing I hadn’t tried to use Amazon-sized stairs up to that point! The large staircase leading to the second floor was intimidating as I looked up and tentatively took my first step up. I lifted my foot up, and it felt like I was trying to climb onto a chair as high as the effort was. Moving my other leg up, I had to repeat that twenty more times, and by the time I reached the top, I was winded! Shelby smiled at me, “That looked almost as hard as when Mom climbs them!” I looked down the stairs, “With this new height, that feels like climbing a mountain!” She laughed, “That’s right, you were taller back home. You certainly overdid the shrinkage! Come on, your mom’s old room is just over here!” ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thank you for reading! Please press the ‘Like’ Button if you’ve enjoyed it! Comments are always super appreciated as well! LCW will have a new posting every Friday for the foreseeable future! Your support through likes and comments means a lot to me. If you’ve enjoyed this or any of my other works, consider supporting me by purchasing copies of them on Amazon Kindle! (And if you do so pretty please consider leaving me a 5-star review (you can just leave the stars and no public reviews are viewable then!))

The other day I gave a friend a box of diapers for a newborn, expecting in a few weeks. Told him you gotta take these cause they are too small for me. He thanked me and laughed at my joke. Except I wasn't joking!

Chapter 2: Assembly The LETO Syndicate – LittleFallenPrincess Two columns of all the victims I had just seen on the bus, all lined up in a straight line… each still in the weird restraint seats… but with wheels underneath them and a handle coming off the back. It seemed like there was an even mix of guys and girls too. And attached to the handle… were… Goddesses. Like… these women were gorgeous. Angelic faces, curvaceous figures, all dressed in… maid uniforms? But not typical sexy maid uniforms that you get for kinky stuff… No, these were old-school Victorian maid outfits. Like… Nanny-esque shit. Like Governess kinda stuff. “Shit… it’s a sex thing…” I heard from behind me, sounding just like Sarah. And near the back of the line were a few empty frames with Maids holding the handles. No doubt waiting for us… Upon closer inspection it wasn’t two columns. It was one… with each pair on the bus sat next to each other, like a double baby stroller or something, with one Maid behind each pair. Yeah… one frame holding two victims, with a Maid behind each. What the ever-loving fuck was this? As I was carried over to the next available frame, I looked up at the woman who would be pushing me… and she was… just… wow. Brunette hair tied up into a bun, picture perfect makeup with a freshly pressed uniform that seemed to hug her curves in all the right places… she looked amazing. But then I was quickly turned around and lowered, until I heard a click, and then the guard moved away. ‘I guess I’m in place now?’ I thought as I watched the next guard bring Sarah over and placed her seat in place next to mine. ‘Well at least I’m still with her.’ I thought to myself. We sat there in silence, waiting for something to happen, as the guards went back to the bus and continued bringing other victims out in their carriers, carrying them out and behind us, no doubt locking them in the frames behind us. I guessed correctly, six more people were brought out and carried off behind us, no doubt being put in the empty frames. Then the bus door closed suddenly and one lone guard drove off in it, leaving the two guards from the bus, along with a couple more who must have come from the strange building. And of course all us victims and these incredibly gorgeous maids, who all stood in silence and didn’t move a muscle. Not even their eyes twitched. ‘I wonder if we’re going to start moving any…’ And then as if I was a psychic, I noticed the maids in front of us moving forward in step with each other, pushing their victims further towards the building. Being jolted forward, Sarah and I were then pushed by our maid, perfectly in line with the pair in front of us. As we reached the big, ominous, mechanical doors to whatever this place was, I felt the pit in my stomach grow bigger. Sarah must have been able to see this, because she reached her hand over as best she could given the restraints holding us in place, offering it to me. So I grabbed it and squeezed hard as we were pushed through the doors. My eyes adjusted to the new levels of light after being outside for a while. Going from the brilliant sunshine, which was rare for England, to the entirely artificial light of this facility… It was quite jarring. “Wow… it’s so… clinical.” Sarah commented. The maid pushing us quickly shushed her before looking back up, without skipping a step as she pushed us down the long hallway. Surrounding us were completely white walls. Like… that’s it. Tiled white floor, painted white walls, cold lights illuminating the entire way down… it was creepy. Like those scary movies where people get put into creepy hospitals. No artwork. No plants. Nothing. No furniture whatsoever. And what was worse… was that we were now in some kind of queue as I realised we had slowly come to a complete stop. Every 10 seconds we edged forward a couple of metres. And one by one, the queue entered what looked to be a doorway at the end of the bland corridor, each time my heart beating quicker. That was until we reached the doorway and a generic, nondescript guard looked down at us. “Sarah Dickinson. 29. Female.” He said, looking at Sarah before turning to me. “Judith Teles. 28. Female. Oh and you both have a strike already… interesting.” I looked nervously at the floor. “Seat 15. Same room assignment.” He said to the maid behind us. “Thanks.” She replied, with the most angelic voice imaginable. Seriously, my heart melted. And with that, we were off again, being pushed down the next corridor, but instead of being pushed straight ahead, where there was a large reception desk, we turned left towards an even bigger door… which revealed a huge hall. It had a stage, loads of spaces for these weird stroller things to be parked, and a podium at the front of the stage with a microphone. Honestly… it felt like school again, it looked just like a school assembly hall. Quickly moving us into position into one of the empty parking spots, we found we were now facing forwards, directly at the stage. And as soon as we were parked, the maid who had been pushing us sat in the fixed seat next to us. We watched the remaining strollers be pushed into the hall and into position, as we nervously awaited what they had to show us that was so important. There was a bit of mumbling throughout the assembly hall, it appeared the people running this didn’t seem that fussed about us all talking to our partner, which I thought was a bit weird. But then the mumbling all stopped and everyone quickly turned their heads to the only noise that was reverberating through the assembly hall. The clacking of high heels on the stage. I watched as the most beautiful woman I had ever seen walked across the stage, wearing a classy business suit with a smart pencil skirt, holding what looked to be papers in her hand, until she reached the podium, placing those papers down and looking up at us… smiling. “Good afternoon. I see we have a bunch of cuties this semester! Oh what a joy this first semester will be.” The woman exclaimed, gently clapping her hands together in joy. “Semester? Is this like… a university or a school or something?” Whispered Sarah. Our maid quickly shushed her and turned back to the woman on stage. “Right. Time for introductions. I am Mrs Braithwaite. But you will refer to me as ‘Headmistress’.” She said in an authoritative voice. “And this… is your new school.” “School? Bitch I’m thirty two! I did school ages ago!” A man in the front yelled, the voice was coming from one of the strollers. “Not anymore you’re not.” She grinned, making even my tummy feel uneasy. The maid in front, the one sitting next to the guy who just yelled, did something to the guy and suddenly he stopped yelling… just mumbling… but I couldn’t see what, as the back of his seat was preventing me from even seeing what he looked like. “So anyway… As I was saying, welcome to your new home for the next month.” The Headmistress continued. “Month?” Whispered Sarah again, earning yet another shush from the maid next to us. “You have all been carefully selected for a place at this brand new, prestigious academy. You are the first batch, after all the beta tests, that get to take part in this wonderful program.” “Umm…” I heard from a woman in a stroller up front. “What is it, little one?” The Headmistress asked her. “What… program?” The woman asked, nervously. “I’m glad you asked. You see this school was created to create the very best little ones. Before this, we used to do it on a case by case basis. But demand grew faster than we expected, so with my finances, I created this academy. You see, what we do is take in the dregs of society. Homeless people, unemployed, vulnerable people, as well as some special exceptions or special requests… and we train them.” “Train them for what?” “Such an inquisitive little mind. Shame that won’t do you any good here, sweetie…” The Headmistress said in a condescending tone. “We train you to be babies, of course.” “BABIES?” The whole hall erupted. “Quiet… or else.” The Headmistress warned. As soon as she added the ‘or else’, the hall went silent again in an instant. “Like I said… we train you to be babies. Then at the end, we auction you off to the highest bidder, who will then adopt you and keep you as their little one.” “But that’s illegal!” The woman cried out. “And that’s enough out of you…” The Headmistress waved her hand once again and the maid next to the woman with all the questions quickly reached over and suddenly the girl was silent. “As I was saying, you’ll be here for about a month. In that time you’ll be conditioned and trained to be the best little babies you can be. There are a lot of wealthy clients out there looking for adult babies to own. So we train you, then sell you on. This is the first official semester and the first official class of the academy, before now it has been testing our processes on various numbers of unwilling participants. This is the most we’ve taken on at once, but I believe we are ready. Especially with our trained guards and our amazing staff of Nannies to take care of each of you.” I looked over at the ‘Nanny’ who was sitting next to us, who just smiled and waved at me and Sarah. “Those Nannies that brought you in… they will be your Nanny. Each Nanny has two students, and will be in charge of them. If they tell you to do something… you do it. They will dress you, feed you, change you…” “CHANGE?” Some people called out in the front row. “Oh yes. Babies need nappies…” The Headmistress’ sly grin crept up once again. “I’M NOT WEARING A…” The person yelling was quickly silenced like the previous two. “As I was saying… you’ll be here a month. And in that time, you’ll go through a week of newborn training. Then a week of baby training. Then a week of toddler training. At the end of the third week, the auction will commence, and you’ll be sold to the highest bidder. They will then choose your age, whether it’s newborn, baby or toddler, and the final week will be training you more for that specific age group.” She looked around the hall for a second, taking a brief pause, scanning all the students. As soon as she got to me and Sarah… she stared longer than she had with any other, before returning to her speech. “Training consists of using your nappies, baby talk, baby behaviour, playtime, and loss of coordination. I won’t spoil the other weeks, but I will tell you what you’re in for for your first week. Step one… you’ll be put in nappies, stripped and dressed in clothes suitable for a newborn. Then you will be administered a drug that removes all control. And by that I mean bladder, bowel and muscles. You’ll be as helpless as newborns. The great thing about this period is the bond you’ll develop with your Nanny. You’ll be reliant on them to take care of you and do everything for you. Classes will mostly involve hypnotherapy, as you won’t be able to do much actual classwork for that week. Playtime will be very limited too, but don’t worry, over time each stage will allow a bit more freedom. If you’re lucky, your new Mummy or Daddy won’t choose the newborn stage for you, as I guess it could get a bit boring just laying there, shitting yourself and being unable to do anything.” “Hypnotherapy?” Sarah whispered. I was expecting our Nanny to shush her again, but this time she pulled something out of her pinafore and shoved it in Sarah’s mouth. Sarah started mumbling and panicking, but she barely made a sound, and as our ‘Nanny’ moved away, I saw that she had put a large baby’s dummy in Sarah’s mouth, one that she apparently couldn’t remove. “I’m sorry this has been brief, and I’m sure you all have lots of questions. Your wonderful Nannies can fill you all in after you’ve been put in your first nappies and taken to your nurseries. You’ll all be sharing a nursery with the partner sitting next to you, so get used to them and try to make friends. I have a busy schedule, so I must be off. Oh, one last thing… processing and classes start tomorrow, you’ve got the rest of today where you will have the freedom of the toddler stage. Your Nannies will give you the details once you’re in your nurseries. Anyway, have lots of fun, I’ll be sure to pop my head into some classes to see how you’re all getting on, and… well… good luck!” And as the Headmistress casually walked off backstage, I turned to see the look of fear plastered on Sarah’s face, and a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I did not like. ========================================================= Of course you all love this story. Bunch of meanies! I mean who would want to be kidnapped and regressed and humiliated, or want someone else to go through all that... seriously... Because definitely not me. 😇 I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next four chapters are available on my Patreon which can be found here if you go for the second tier. New chapters of LETO Syndicate every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Such prophets here! Am I really all that predictable? The Ballet Slippers - Chapter 18 Isabelle was swimming. She liked to swim. It was a peaceful activity, Isabelle, felt, as she pulled her right arm out from behind her, and into the water over her ear, repeating the process with her left arm, and again with her right, before submerging her whole body into the water, re-emerging a few feet out in front of her. Isabelle took a deep breath of fresh, evening air, before opening her eyes. She was back in Dani's pool, swimming her way to the exit, where her two best friends had just emerged, each of them looking spectacular. Dani and Lola were making their ways to the hot tub. Isabelle was lagging behind. Isabelle stepped out of the pool, the water falling off of her as she made her way toward her friends, who somehow, were already in the hot tub. As she made her way to them, Isabelle only realized that she was back in Dani's old bathing suit. The embarrassment of her outfit returned, if only for a moment, especially considering what her friends had just looked like. It was no matter, Isabelle reminded herself, as she made her way to the hot tub after her friends. As she approached, she could hear them speaking. "She looks so CUTE in that bathing suit, don't you think?" Dani had asked Lola, who smiled and responded. "I know? It fits her perfect, in more ways than one." The two girls giggled, though at what, Isabelle was not sure. She wanted to be angry, but she wasn't; her friends thought she looked good. That was a positive thing. Isabelle tried to respond herself, but for some reason, could not. Dani and Lola carried on the conversation. "I am going to miss having her around next year. It won't be the same without her." Lola said, sadly. The remark hurt Isabelle's heart, though, she did not know what to do about that. Dani responded before Isabelle could come up with an answer. Before doing so, Dani turned, and starred directly at Isabelle. "Yah, me too, but all we can do is make the best of our situations." Isabelle, again, could not respond. Nor did she feel the need to at that moment. Right now, Isabelle felt that she just wanted to be with her friends. And so, Isabelle slipped into the hot tub, content to listen as her friends spoke as though Isabelle wasn't even there. Content to listen to them laugh, content to listen to their voices, content as the warm water of the hot tub, eased her sore body, allowing her to blissfully, let go. *** *** The warm hot tub continued to spread around her. Only it wasn't the tub, Isabelle realized. It was not the tub. Isabelle's eyes shot open, too late to stop what had already started. She was, of course, peeing again. And this time it was in her bed. Isabelle clenched everything she could, stopping the stream, and clutching Rabbity even harder than she was previously. Isabelle jumped up out of bed, with nothing to do but assess the damage. There was no denying what had happened. Isabelle had wet the bed. 'Again. Why. Why why why why why.' was all Isabelle could muster. Thankfully, she had the good sense to both panic and act immediately, shoving her comforter off to the side, and stripping the sheets off of her bed as quickly as she could. Isabelle grabbed her phone quickly to identify the time, noting it was only 3:35 in the morning. There was time. Her body felt ice cold. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, and the veins in her neck felt as though they were bursting. A lump began developing in her throat. And Isabelle knew it would only be a matter of minutes before she started crying. There was time. But she would need to use it quickly. Wisely. There was only one task at hang, Isabelle knew. 'Cover up the crime. Leave no evidence behind.' Like a criminal mastermind, Isabelle quickly gathered her sheets, and put them off near the door. Turning back toward her mattress, Isabelle saw that, indeed, there was a wet stain on the bed. Thankfully, it was small, and Isabelle was convinced she could cover it up. 'First things first,' Isabelle told herself. Noting that her long sleep shirt and panties were both wet, she stripped out of them both and kicked them into the pile with her sheets. Isabelle maneuvered around the pile, feeling the wet residue of her pee still against her thighs, but, and back, where she had laid in it. Isabelle ventured into the bathroom as quietly as she could, sat down on the toile seat - emphasizing the coolness on her butt and thighs, releasing the remaining pee into the bowl. Isabelle could hardly focus on the fact that she had peed quite a bit. Isabelle wiped, washed her hands, and then grabbed a nearby washcloth, letting it soak in warm water before pulling it back, and wiping her back, legs, butt, and vagina. Content enough that she had cleaned herself up, she grabbed a towel and dried herself off, before heading back to her bedroom as quietly as she could. Isabelle approached her dresser, and grabbed the first pair of panties she could find - a bright blue pair with white hearts on the front - and threw on another sleeping shirt, or more accurately in this case, a sleeping dress, that fell well below her knees. Isabelle took a deep breath, before bending down and folding the wet parts of her sheets into the dry parts, so she could pick them up and carry them, and her soaking clothes, downstairs. Isabelle grabbed her bundle, and made her way out of the room, tiptoeing down the stairs as delicately as she could, before rounding the corner and heading to the basement. Isabelle stepped down on to the first step, *CREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAK* 'SHIT.' Isabelle had forgotten, in her panic, about the creaky step. She froze, listening to hear if the loud noise had woken up her mother, thwarting her plan. Isabelle stood there silently, for what felt like, and indeed was, five full minutes, the thundering beat of her heart the only thing to break the silence. Isabelle finally found the courage to move again, and made her way - much slower - down each step to the basement, turning into the laundry room immediately. Isabelle threw her sheets in with her clothes, before dumping way more detergent than was needed in. 'Quick cycle - I have no choice.' Isabelle concluded, punching the machine to start. Isabelle stood in front of the machine, pondering her dilemma. ' I don't think I have enough time to wash and dry these before mom will wake up," Isabelle concluded. She would need to use spare sheets, and collect these later in the day. Isabelle opened up the linen closet, looking for the spare set of sheets for her bed. After several minutes of panicked searching, Isabelle could not find them. 'Shit. What am I going to do.' Isabelle's eyes were directed toward a set of sheets she didn't recognize. they were purple......'purple with polka dots!...These must be my spare set. But I don't remem.....' It didn't matter, Isabelle realized. 'I just need a spare set.' Isabelle pulled them out, recognizing immediately that they would be a good fit. She then closed the linen closet, identified that she had 37 minutes on the washer, and made her way back upstairs, sliding her body over the top stair and onto the floor of the main level so as to not make a noise. Isabelle made her way up the stairs to the top floor silently, setting the sheets down at the foot of her bed. Isabelle didn't know what she could expect to find, but she returned to her bathroom and opened the lower cabinet under the sink, searching desperately for something to use on her mattress. Bottle after bottle, nothing looked like it was right. Until, ...'I don't remember this ever being here. "Bide mattress cleaner?"' Isabelle sat, wondering for a moment why they would even own this. 'Who cares why?!? It's a miracle!' Isabelle thought, returning to her room with the Bide and a roll of toilet paper. Isabelle began spraying the bed generously in the wet area, letting it soak, and then using the toilet paper to sop up the liquid. Isabelle repeated the process three times, before feeling content that she had done a good enough job. Isabelle set the bottle down on her dresser, and headed back out to get her spare sheets, returning to make the bed. "That solves that, at least." Isabelle checked her phone again, worried about the time. It was 4:52 AM. 'Time is running out,' Isabelle reminded herself, as she scurried back downstairs to the laundry room, careful again to avoid making too much noise. Isabelle opened the now finished washing machine, taking out the sheets and clothes, giving them a sniff to confirm they were clean before throwing them into the dryer, and setting the cycle to the speediest one she could. Still, it would be about an hour before the sheets were dry. 'Do I stay up until then?' Isabelle left the laundry room, and sat on the basement couch. Finally done with her work, Isabelle broke down, crying rivers from her eyes, and feeling them swell up again. "What am I going to do?!" She asked herself aloud, truly without any answer. Isabelle waited, hoping the universe would provide an answer to any of the questions she had. It all just felt. ..."Impossible to deal with," Isabelle concluded. Isabelle stayed on the couch for a good 15 minutes, crying the whole time. She felt pathetic. She felt out of control. More than anything, she felt tired. And so, Isabelle decided to go back upstairs to her room - she needed the sleep. The laundry would have to wait until morning to fold and hide. Isabelle began the long journey back to her room. She stood up, and made her way toward the staircase, past the laundry room, and up the stairs. Isabelle leaped over the top stair, landing delicately on her toes, before rounding the corner and heading toward the staircase upstairs. Isabelle laid her hand on the cool wooden railing, using it to help her body up the stairs, exhausted from the ordeal of the morning. Isabelle dragged her back foot up the last step, turned to go to her bedroom, when it happened. ... ".....Izz....Are you okay?" ... Her mother's voice echoed in the dark, silent house. While usually a source of comfort, Isabelle froze again. Her mom repeated herself. "Iz. Are you okay? Why are you up. I heard rustling." Isabelle was not ready to tell her mom what happened. In fact, Isabelle was never going to tell her. She needed a quick exit, before she started crying again. "Yah mom.....I uh...I had to go to the bathroom. And then I wanted a.....glass of water, so I went downstairs." Jane considered her daughter's response for a moment. It was certainly plausible, but something seemed off. It was 5 AM, however, and Jane was not about to launch an inquisition at this hour. "Okay sweetie," Jane said, with all the love she could muster, "Go back to bed. you have a big day tomorrow. Senior year and all." The words hardly registered for Isabelle. But she was out of her dilemma, so she turned, walked into her bedroom, and quickly tucked herself into her new sheets. It would be a while before she fell asleep, but, clutching Rabbity close to her chest, Isabelle eventually dozed off. **** ".....ISABELLE. I said GET UP! You are going to be late for your first day." Isabelle's eyes shot open. If her mom had woken her up before, she did not notice. What she did notice, however, was that she was exhausted. It had been a few too many nights that Isabelle had not slept well, and she was continuing to feel the effects. Isabelle pushed the covers off of herself, and picked up her phone. It was already 8:15. She did have to get moving. Isabelle stood up, and walked over to her dresser, pulling off her sleeping dress. She rummaged through her underwear drawer, finding a simple bra that Isabelle didn't recognize, and putting it on. Isabelle then pulled a pair of plain, black legging from another drawer, before settling on a cute purple top with flowers stitched into it. 'It's good enough for the day.' Isabelle then made her way to her closet, grabbed her ballet slippers, her tights, and a plain, black leotard that was hanging in the front, stuffing them all into her ballet bag, and throwing it over her shoulder. Isabelle then grabbed her school satchel, being sure to shove her still unopened schedule into it, before heading downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, Isabelle dropped her two bags, before making her way into the kitchen. It would be too late for breakfast, but she could at least have a sip of coffee before she left for school. She greeted her mom as she entered the kitchen. "Morning mom," Isabelle said, before making her way to the cupboard, fortunately finding a glass on the lowest shelf, and carrying it over to the coffee pot. "Morning sweetie. There's my senior girl." Isabelle nearly dropped the coffee mug out of her hand. 'Had mom just called me a senior?' Her mother's reaction was not, or should not, have been shocking to the degree it was. But after everything that had transpired over the last 10 days, it was. 'Maybe everything is fixed....Maybe, maybe it was all just one bad dream. Maybe I am finally back to me.' The very thought of this lightened the exhaustion weighing her down. She was back. "Thanks Mom!" Isabelle said, with a certain energy she had lacked the last several days. It felt good knowing that everything would be back to normal. "We have to get going sweetie. And coffee? Really?" Jane said, with a certain displeasure in her voice? 'Yes Mom, Coffee. Cannot function without.' Isabelle thought to herself, before chugging down a mug of the lukewarm substance, and following her mom out the door, grabbing her bags on the way. Isabelle dropped her two bags in the trunk, and walked around the car to get into the front seat with her Mom. She didn't speak much on the way to Higgins, opting to rest her eyes in the front seat instead. Jane picked up on Isabelle's tiredness, remarking that "you really need to get to bed earlier sweetie. This is a big year for you. If I need to enforce a bedtime, I will." 'Yah, that'll be the day,' Isabelle thought, returning to closing her eyes for just a few more minutes, letting her mind try to reset after the night prior. As Isabelle felt her mom's car, round a turn, and begin to ascend up the hill toward Higgins, it occurred to her that she had no idea how her day was going to start. It was unlike her, as her friends had noted, to not have immediately reviewed her schedule. But with everything that had been happening, it was hardly a priority. 'And what was there to review? The schedule was what it was - it was the same every year nearly.' She would have to review it when Jane dropped it off, having left her bag in the back of course. Isabelle sat upright as her mom drove up to the school, the car puttering away as it made its way over the last incline, and into view of the front entrance. Jane continued along the road toward the front entrance, except, ... except she never turned. Instead, Jane continued rounding the school, heading toward the back. Heading toward the middle school entrance. "Mom" Isabelle spoke abruptly, "where on earth are you going?!?" Isabelle asked, in a panic. Something told her everything was not back to normal. "I'm taking you to school Isabelle. Now shush, I need to pay attention and find a place to drop you," Jane said, searching for a drop-off spot. Isabelle listened to her mother's instruction, but, was dreading what she knew, but would not admit, was her new reality. Jane spotted an open space, and pulled in. Isabelle had started to protest, but her mom shut her down quickly "I don't have time for that this morning Iz. Get out, get your stuff, and get to class. I need to get to work." Isabelle made one last attempt "But mo-" to no avail. 'Out Isabelle! Now!" Isabelle popped out of the car, a grumpy grin returning to her face. She slammed the door behind her, before going to the trunk, grabbing her two bags, and slamming that shut too. Isabelle walked over the sidewalk in front of the school, ignoring her mom's waves goodbye. She had more pressing concerns to investigate. Slowly, and praying for mercy, Isabelle pulled out the manila envelope housing her schedule. With shaking hands, Isabelle tore the envelope open, and started slipping the paper schedule out, bit by bit. The top was simple - it read "Isabelle Weber, SENIOR." That much was true, and offered some sense of reprieve. Then she pulled it out slightly more, and the truth hit her like a truck. The full schedule read: Isabelle Ward - SENIOR Higgins Middle School They were sending her back to middle school. The school thought she was.......'..14, I think...' Isabelle deduced. It wasn't getting better. It was getting worse. Much, much worse. And then it hit her. 'Mom thinks....thinks I am a middle school senior too. And...." Isabelle could hardly admit the worst part of it all .She would now truly be alone. "..my friends. I'm not even in school with my friends.' Isabelle felt empty, standing on the sidewalk, unable to move from where she was. Isabelle stood there for what felt like ever. She felt that she had lost, lost her effort to unfold this mystery. There was no hope. No reason to continue. "Except there is," Isabelle said aloud to herself. Saying it out loud felt necessary - she needed the reminder that there was still time. 'I am going to figure this out. Stick with the plan - get to the library, and sort this mystery out.' It was the only sensible thing to do. Isabelle turned to face her new reality: she was going to have to back to middle school. Her mom's words echoed in her mind again: 'things are going to happen to you. Things are going to happen around you. Things you cannot explain. Things you don't always understand, or that don't make sense. And you won't be able to control it all.' But there was a way forward, Isabelle reminded herself. 'Let it happen. And learn to deal with it.' Isabelle was going to have to press on. 'Do my best.' Isabelle was proud of herself. She had come a long way, coming to terms with everything. She had fought it all of last week - it was driving her mad. It still was, to be honest. But what could she do? This obviously wasn't real. She just needed to sort out what it was. And she couldn't focus on silly things like this if she had any hope of doing so. She needed to direct her attention to what mattered. With that motivation, Isabelle made her way into the school doors, pushing them open. While the different entrances corresponded to where the students had their separate classes, the middle and high school technically shared the same building. As Isabelle walked into the school, she pulled out her complete schedule. She shouldn't have been shocked at the presence of middle school classes, but it certainly made the situation more real. And it also occurred to her that she would be dancing in the morning, rather than the afternoon. Middle school students took their "arts" classes in the mornings, rather than the afternoons. It was to the benefit of the high schoolers, largely because after dancing, they had sufficient time to shower, not having to go to classes. Isabelle was quickly reminded of the days in which she had to spend sweaty in her afternoon classes. Isabelle was then reminded of another problem: She had coffee that morning, and her stomach was letting her know it. It was time to go. So rather than make her way to "Ballet II," Isabelle dashed to the nearest girls room. 'I wont have time to make it to my normal bathroom spot,' Isabelle realized almost immediately. Isabelle settled for the girls room inside the locker room where her new classmates were getting ready to go to class. 'I'm going to be late too," she realized. Isabelle made her way into the locker room, making eye contact with a room full of girls....'well my age I guess..." Isabelle shamefully accepted. And though Isabelle looked at them all, perplexed, they all seemed to know who she was. "Hi Izzy!," "HEY THERE Belle!", "Belly! How are you?' Each girl she walked by was kind enough to say hello. Isabelle felt silly not responding, but how could she? She didn't even know there names? 'Also, what are these names they are calling me.' Isabelle gave smiles to each girl, offering generic hellos to each. Isabelle needed to go to the bathroom, but with all the girls here.....'Let me get changed quickly.' Isabelle dropped her bag at the last locker, and quickly started stripping down to get her ballet clothes on, Isabelle considered removing her bra to dance - it wouldn't be an issue with her leotard on - but was not comfortable getting naked at that moment. It wasn't that she was not used to being naked around her friends - that was the life of a dancer. She just wasn't used to being naked in the body.....she was in. Isabelle pulled her white tights up her legs, smoothing them out as she lifted them above her waist. She then stepped into her leotard, smoothing it out as well. Isabelle sat down, making minor adjustments to her outfit, before putting on her ballet slippers. As she did, she felt the warmth emanate from them and spread across her body. The warmth provided a comfort she missed that morning, and for just a minute, made it seem like all her problems were gone. By the time she was dressed, nearly every girl had left the locker room to head to the ballet class. 'Now's my chance - bathroom.' Isabelle began making her way to the toilet, until she was attacked from the back. "Bellllllllllly! How exciting is this! Senior year!!!!" A girl, who Isabelle recognized, but couldn't not for the life of her identify, had wrapped her arms around Isabelle, squeezing her tight. The hug was extremely comforting, but the squeeze was not helping with her,.. errr...impending stomach issue. Isabelle turned, seeing a girl a little taller than her, and cute as a button. She had her black hair tied up in a neat ballet bun, which likely ran down past her shoulders. She had dark, beautiful, and somewhat familiar blue eyes, that warmed her at the sight of them. The girl had freckles on her cheeks, with a short, small nose. Her features were very sharp, and she was, for a 14 year old girl ('I think?') very pretty. There was something about her..... There were two more urgent issues at hand. First, Isabelle really needed to get into the bathroom. This girl's squeeze had not helped the situation. Second, Isabelle had no idea how to address this girl. Who was she? Why did she hug me? How do I get out of this conversation. What should I -' At that thought, Isabelle's slippers warmed her feet, and provided her with a sense of happiness, a sense of comfort, a sense of joy. The slippers provided her with a reminder that, this was all okay. That she knew this girl. That she was in the right place. "Hey Mel!" Isabelle said without thinking. "What the hell? Who is Mel? Is this girl Mel? I sure hope so....' The girl - presumably Mel - smiled back, "You're going to be late on day one Belly. Now come on." Mel grabbed Isabelle's hand, and started pulling her toward the exit. "Mel. Wait. Hang on. I cant. Wait. I, uh." *Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.* Mel stopped, turned back to Isabelle, and just stared at her. Isabelle had just very clearly farted in front of this girl. 'Ohmygod. What is she going to think?!? What am I going to do?!?!' Isabelle was in shock. This was going to be a disaster. This was MIDDLE school - she would never live this down. Except Mel didn't. She didn't do anything. She just smiled back at Isabelle, with a smirk, and made a joke of it. "Okay tooter - looks like you have somewhere else to go,' before chuckling and adding a, 'see you in there,' before letting go of her hand, and skipping off to class. At this point, Isabelle's need was becoming desperate. She began shifting her feet toward the bathroom, one hand pressed against her butt as though to help hold it in. Isabelle made her way into a stall, shifting her leotard down off her body, and yanking down her tights before sitting down on the toilet, making it just in time. Log after log, the poop slid out of Isabelle's put, loudly plopping into the toilet one after the other. Isabelle didn't care if anyone was listening, for the first time. All she cared about was that she made it in time. 'That could have been a disaster.' Isabelle's slippers sent a jolt of warmth through her body. After several minutes, Isabelle took some toilet paper and wiped herself, before standing, fixing her outfit, and making her way to the sink to wash her hands, before jogging out to class. She was already very late. Isabelle made her way out of the locker room and toward one of the large ballet studios where her class was to take place. Peering in, Isabelle saw the class was well underway, spotting Mel well into a warmup. 'Shit. As long as Ms.' It was. 'Shit," Isabelle repeated. It was Ms. Lazard. She did not care for tardiness. Isabelle slipped into the room, generating a smile from Mel. Isabelle tried to duck her head, but couldn't resist peering up to see if Lazard had noticed. Risking a glance, Isabelle starred at the teacher, only to see her starring right back, disapprovingly. This would not be good. "Ms. Weber. Thank you for joining us. Please proceed through the warmup, and then you will be presenting first." "Yes ma'am" Isabelle responded. 'Performing? Performing what, exactly?' It didn't matter, Isabelle thought. I just need to get ready. Isabelle went through the motions of warming up, stretching her legs and body in all manner that she did when preparing for her dance classes. She took a spot next to Mel, which, although the two chatted sparingly while warming up, offered a great deal of comfort. She did not feel alone for the first time that day. "Alright girls. Were going to go over the short routines you were supposed to work over the summer. Ms. Weber has volunteered to go first, so the rest of you to the back. Ms. Weber. Proceed." Isabelle stepped up the middle, Mel blowing her a kiss as she did. Isabelle was not sure what to expect. She could just do a routine she knew, but how would she know it was the one she practiced? "This could quickly turn into a disaster,' Isabelle recognized. I don't know what to -" At that moment, and all too familiar event happened. As her slippers sent warm shockwaves through her body, Isabelle watched the world fall away around her. the studio's mirror collapsed; the floor was erased beneath her; her classmates, gone, her teacher, gone. Gone was the door to the studio, and gone was the school around her. Isabelle was floating in an dark abyss, without an idea of where she was in time or space. Slowly, however, the world began to reform. A flat, warm stage expanded from underneath her feet. Golden curtains opened in front of her to the sight of hundreds of balconies in a oval formation, filled with patrons. In front of her, on the ground, an orchestra rolled out like a carpet being unfolded, followed by hundreds more seats with many more people. Isabelle knew where she was immediately. There was no mistaking it. This was the great Bolshoi Theater; historic, regal, home to the greatest Russian ballet. And standing on stage, illuminated by the stage lights, was Isabelle, standing on her own. Isabelle was no longer in her simple outfit however. She was dressed in a stunning white leotard, matching white tights, and a stunning white tutu. Her chest was covered in sparkling diamonds, which ran across her elongated figure. Everything was new. Everything, except her slippers, which she was never without. The music started, and her performance took off. Isabelle did not know what she was doing, but doing it she was. Like each time this had happened previously, her performance was mesmerizing. Isabelle was both watching it happen, while also doing it. She could not look away; she could not stop dancing. Spin after spin, leap after leap, Isabelle danced away to the bewilderment of the crowd. Until suddenly it stopped. Until Isabelle took a bow. The applause was thunderous. The noise reverberated through the stage, through her slippers, and up her legs. She had amazed them all - and the feeling was exceptional. And just like that, it all went away again. The stage fell away, the crowd disappeared. The balconies folded up together like a storybook, and seats and orchestra rolled back up into a carpet. Isabelle fell back into the abyss, before landing squarely in her ballet studio at Higgins. Ms. Lazard was back. Her classmates were back. The mirror reappeared. the floor came back under her. And Mel - the girl who had hugged her so warmly, was smiling back at her. Isabelle was snapped back to reality by Ms. Lazard. "It appears at least one of you practiced over the summer. Very good Ms. Weber. Ms. Turner, you're up next."

I don't mind leaking, and I like wearing diapers, but every so often I get annoyed by the chore of diapering. Especially if I am tired and want to lay down, but no I have to stop to change first. Anyone else get annoyed by the chore we've elected to do?

I have never tried ABU’s before nor Tykables! So here we go…🎉 so excited!!!

Hi everyone I guess recently joined this site, but I’ve frequently visited over years and years. (I think they call it “lurking”) it’s a little funny cause I’m new to you all but I kinda feel familiar with a lot of you. I guess you might not find it funny. sorry but I recently decided to try to write a story actually 2, the first one is kinda a see how I felt about it thing. I have read, well probably thousands of stories so, I figured I would try to give back a little, It’s a very odd experience for me, much much harder than I expected, so hopefully I can finish it at some point. Thanks everyone E

Here we go. It's been a long, long, long time since I started this. I've restarted it in fits and starts. I'm nearing the end and I'll be releasing chapters slowly over the next several months. I'm writing ahead of what I'm putting out. I'd thought I might wait until I'm actually done. But I'm really close, so here we go. Here are the first 18 chapters which have already been published, but are no longer on this board. Chapter 1 This was not the way Thomas Welton wanted to begin his first day at his new school. This was not the way any 13 year-old should begin any day. Tom took every insult to his maturity seriously and this one was particularly grievous. He had grown tired of everyone assuming he was a little kid, a mere elementary schooler. He was officially a teenager and even if he was a little shorter than average, adults should know better than to simply presume he wanted a kid's menu or whatever it was they did to overlook his status as a teen. These are, at any rate, the things he told himself. Though he was barely aware of it he envied younger kids, the way they didn't have to struggle to prove that they were big and mature and completely independent. Somewhere in the back of his mind the thought lingered that he had wasted his opportunity to simply be a carefree kid on his constant quest to prove himself grown-up. But no matter how aware he was of those feelings he wasn't about to let on as his mother drove him to his first day of morning daycare. Her new job required her to arrive early, too early to take Tom to school. So she had found a nearby daycare that offered a bus service to the local schools. Tom thought he could ride his bike to school but was over ruled by his mother who insisted it was much too far for that. So he sat staring glumly out the window taking some solace in the promise that this particular center had an area for Jr High students in his position so he wouldn't have to spend all morning hanging out with little kids and being treated like a little kid. He was momentarily pulled out of his brooding funk as he felt the car come to stop. This was all quite worse than than he thought. Crude art projects decorated the windows cheerfully colored playground equipment sat waiting to be used. To Tom every detail screamed that this was a place for immature little brats, something that he was not, something he never was. He stepped out of the car and glared at this rugrat jail only to be interrupted by his mother giving him a quick pat on the head before starting her way to the door. Tom gave gave a resigned sigh and followed her in. Inside the daycare center was a desk marked by a single name plate decorated with teddy bear stickers and bearing the name “Sarah.” And behind the desk the Sarah identified by the name tag sat beaming at the new mother and student who had just walked through her door. Her slightly plump round face and easy smile made her a natural for the part of a daycare teacher, To most of the parents here she was the face of the daycare and her obvious pride and experience in her work reassured them all that this was a safe and comfortable place for their little ones. “This must be my new student,” she said cheerfully “Tommy isn't it?” “Tom” he corrected her tersely. Her eyes twinkled at his attempted protest “I'm sorry Tom, I didn't know I was getting such a grown up boy.” She turned to his mother and gave her a knowing smile before asking “And what school will we be sending Tom to this morning?” “Stone Ridge Junior High” Tom answered with a a touch of pride before his mother could even speak. “Well” Sarah chuckled “I guess we really do have quite the grown up here. Before you know it he'll be working here.” Tom glowered silently as the adults went about their final arrangements “I'm sorry” Karen Welton said “he thinks he's too old for daycare so he's a little grumpy this morning.” “Well I'm sure we'll find a way to make him fit right in.” As Sarah smiled her reassurances at him Tom couldn't help but notice the odd twinkle in her eye. It took him aback momentarily and he couldn't help but think that however sweet this woman might be she meant everything she said, perhaps in ways he could never quite understand. With her business concluded Karen turned to her son and kissed him on the forehead “Have a good day at school sweety. I'll pick you up right at three, maybe we can rent a movie or something.” Tom mumbled a good-bye and watched her walk through the door, leaving him in the care of Kiddie Town Daycare. Sarah called over one of the teachers and introduced her to Tom. “Linda” she said calling over a younger blond haired woman and handing her a packet of papers “this is our new boy, would you mind showing him around.” Tom this is Linda she'll show you where to put your things and get you settled in.” “Come on Tommy” Linda smiled “I'm sure you'll have lots of fun here.” Tom crossed his arms and issued his correction for the second time today “I only like to be called Tom.” “I'll be sure to remember that” Linda said paying little attention to her new charge's indignation “These are the cubbies we part all our things in, well make sure to get your name on yours.” She explained using the voice she obviously reserved for small children as took his backpack and coat and tucked them neatly into his cubby. “And over here is the play area we've got toys and games on that shelf over there...” “I really just need to see the area for kids who are going to the junior high. I'm just here so I can get on the bus, I don't want to play with toys or be babysat.” “I'm sorry hon but we don't have any other kids going to your school today so we're just putting everybody in this room for now. But I'm sure you'll be able to have lots of fun in here too.” Linda said not breaking her condescending manner at all. She gave the papers Sarah had handed her a second look and shrugged before leaving Tom with some more reassurances. Tom stomped off and found a chair where we could sit and wait. “What is wrong with everybody in this town?” He thought to himself as he tried to ignore the throng of kids playing around him. It wasn't long before one of them came up to him with a big red ball in his hand “Hi, I'm Johnny and I'm in third grade, do you wanna play something.” Tom didn't even look before spitting out “Look, I'm not a little kid like you guys and I don't want to play, just leave me alone.” “Well sorry,” Johnny rolled his eyes “I was trying to be nice.” Tom returned to glaring into space as Johnny went off to play. He sat and stewed until it was finally time to board the bus. Outside he found several different buses. He stopped and look around for a second until on the the drivers leaned out the window with a clip board and called “Uh Tommy Welton, this is your bus.” Tom gritted his teeth at being called that name again but boarded the bus relieved to be done with daycare for the day. Tom looked out the window and thought about how great it would be to finally establish his new teenage life in his new town. At least he'd have something to balance out his dreadful mornings. He was bought back to reality by the driver calling out “Alright Tommy, this is where you'll be getting off.” “Tom.” he corrected as he walked hurriedly off the bus. He stepped of the bus and looked around, something obviously wasn't right. Behind him he heard the bus drive off as he tried to figure out what had happened. Finally he spotted the sign on the lawn in front of the office “Sunny Brook Elementary School.” “Shit these idiots brought me to the wrong school.” Tom muttered to himself. He cursed his luck and walked towards the office determined to clear up this grievous mistake. Little did he know the forces he was up against. Chapter 2 Tom walked into the office of Sunny Brook Elementary confident that he'd clear everything up and be on his way to Stone Ridge Junior High where he belonged. He went right up to the front desk and wasted no time getting to business “The bus dropped me off at the wrong place, I need to call somebody so I can get to the right school.” The secretary barely took her attention away from the parent she was speaking with “I'm talking with a grown-up dear, maybe you can review the rules while you wait for us to finish.” She directed his attention to a colorful poster on the back wall and went back to her business. Tom looked at the poster and gave a disgusted eye roll. It was a list of simple rules aimed at elementary school aged kids. “We let everybody have their turn” it read “We do not interrupt. We always speak politely and say 'Please' and 'Thank you'.” Tom crossed his arms and waited impatiently this was not a place he wanted to stay any longer than necessary. Finally the interminable conversation ended and Tom strided up to the desk and launched straight into his story. The secretary put her hand to her chin and pondered the situation for a moment. “There's never been a mistake like this before, this is a very well run district. What's your name hon?” “Tom Welton.” he replied finally feeling like he was getting somewhere. “Oh yes, I have a Tommy Welton listed as starting in Mrs. Sanborn's fifth grade class.” She said as though the answer to everything. “I'm not in the fifth grade and I like to be called Tom. Somebody made some sort of mistake.” “Is you mom's name Karen?” “Yes.” Tom replied impatiently. “And are you going to Kiddie Town Daycare?” “Yes,” Tom groaned “But only because I've got to take the bus.” “Well that matches what this form says, I even have your mom's signature with fifth grade checked off.” She said as though she was actually trying to talk him into this. “She probably just didn't notice.” Tom said exasperated. “Well I've never seen a error on one of these forms before. Like I said things are very well run here, we don't make mistakes like this. She caught attention of a tall kindly looking man walking through the office and pointed out Tom to him. “This child says he's supposed to go to Stone Ridge but the bus dropped him off here and he's listed as a student here.” The man pondered the situation for a second “Let's go look this up on the computer,” he turned to Tom and said “We'll be back in a minute son.” And the two went behind a door labeled “Mr. Lessen, Principal.” From behind the door Tom could bits of their conversation “He doesn't look that old to me either, but do you think a kid would really tell a lie like that.” The scowl on his face deepened. Adults were always saying things like that. It was stupid, it was perfectly obvious he was a teenager. Maybe if his mother would let him buy the clothes he wanted things like this wouldn't happen. As he sat there he made up his mind that after today he'd insist on being treated as grown-up as he really was. After a few minutes Tom was called into the office. He breathed a sigh of relief fully expecting that his true status had been verified and he would be back on his way to the school where he belonged. Mr. Lessen invited Tom to sit and explained the situation to him in a well practiced 'talking to a child' tone, “Well Tommy it looks like everything checks out you're officially a fifth grader. Are you sure you weren't just trying to get out of school today?” “Yes I'm sure,” Tom said too exasperated to correct the principal on his name “I was done with the fifth grade two years ago. Call my mom and ask.” “I do intend to speak to your mother, but for now I want to report to your classroom.” Tom shuffled along behind the secretary angrily wondering what sort of grown-up activities the teenagers at Stone Ridge were up to and not paying the slightest attention to her tour of the playground Finally they arrived at the door of Mrs. Sanborn's class. “This is your classroom, now remember that you can always come to the office if you get sick or skin your knee or have an accident or if you just need to call your mom.” Tom groaned inwardly “Accident? Did this lady seriously think there was a chance he'd wet his pants?” “Oh, and I'll make sure we get your uniform ready. You can stay dressed like that today but you'll have to wear from tomorrow on. Have fun” “Thank God, I'll be out of here after they talk to mom.” Tom thought Tom walked inside the classroom and thought he'd gag on the cutesy decorations on the wall. The entire classroom was adorned with cartoon animals an various posters bore reminders of the class rules. Tom just reminded himself that this be for today only and walked up to the desk to introduce himself. “My name is Tom and I...” “Oh Tommy, you must be the new boy. I hear you think you're supposed to be going to Stone Ridge.” “I am. And I only like to be called Tom.” “Well I'm sure everything well get straightened out. We've already got a desk ready for you right over there.” Mrs. Sanborn pointed a desk with a name plate that read “Tommy” in the front row. “I guess we'll have to change the name tag, but that should be good enough for now. All your books are already under your desk.” Tom sat down bitterly in his desk as Mrs. Sanborn called the class to order. “Class he have a new student today can you all say 'hi' to Tom.” Tom rolled his eyes as the assembled brats said “Hi Tom” in a juvenile sing-song unison. “Tom why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?” Mrs. Sanborn invited. “First of all no matter what this thing on my desk says my name is Tom not Tommy. And I'm only here for today because somebody messed up, I'm supposed to be in junior high.” Tom explained in a loud defiant voice with his arms crossed tight. Tom did his best to ignore the doubting giggles and snickers as Mrs. Sanborn began class for the day. “Now everybody get out your science books and turn to page 75. Tom, since this is your first day I'll give you first try at this question. What are the three basic types of wave function?” Tom blinked. “Wave function?” “Now come on try to remember” Mrs. Sanborn coaxed as all the other students shot their hands into there air eager to answer. Tom sat and tried to remember ever hearing of such a thing all around him the class grew more and more eager to answer, each straining to lift their hand higher than the others. “I don't know” Tom finally admitted. Tom's admission elicited one last round of excited hand waving and calls of “Pick me, pick me.” Mrs. Sanborn looked over the class for a moment “Alright Jessica, can you tell us what the basic types of wave function are. “A complex vector with finitely many components, a complex vector with infinitely many components, and a complex vector with one or more real variables.” Jessica said smiling proudly. “Very good Jessica. Now if you remember yesterday we were discussing one dimensional momentum space...” Tom stared slack jawed at all around him. Everybody in this room, he was convinced, was completely insane. He'd never heard any of this before. Something was very wrong with this town. He hoped that they wouldn't be like this over at the junior high. He sat for the rest of time in complete incomprehension until his teacher announced that it was time for recess. He wondered out to the playground still in shock from the bizarre scene he'd just witnessed. He looked around and realized that everything in this place was for little kids. With nothing else to do he sat on a swing and stared despondently at the ground. As he sat a group of boys walked past him. One of them looked at him and asked 'What's the matter Tommy.” “My name's Tom” he said with a little less conviction than before “and I'm fine, I just want to go the right school.” “You don't even know basic quantum mechanics ” scoffed the largest boy of the group “you should probably be in preschool or something.” With that Tom stood up to face him before noticing he was actually quite a bit bigger. “Come on Todd, leave him alone it's just his first day at school” said one of the group. “Fine” said Todd “I guess we'll just let the pouty baby pout on the swings.” and with that they left. Tom sat back down trying to look as dignified as he possibly could after a fifth grader had just stood up for him. All he wanted at this point was to get through this day with as little notice as possible. The rest of the day in class went much the same as the first. Tom had no idea what was going on, he just knew he wanted out of this place. Finally the last bell rang and he made a bee line for the office where he hoped he'd find that everything had been cleared up. inside he found his mother speaking with the principal. “Hi sweety,” she greeted him “I have good news, Stone Ridge is going to let you transfer and all you have to do is pass one little test. Inside Tom told himself that what happened today was a fluke, he could pass any test they gave him with flying colors. Mr. Lessen gave him his test packet and a pencil and let Tom take the test in the privacy of his office. Tom opened the booklet and his heart sank. If anything this test was crazier than the stuff he'd heard in class today. All of it was completely alien to him. He did his best to struggle through, but all he could do was guess. Once again Tom found himself staring glumly out the the window of his mother's car. Only this time he was officially a fifth grader again. In the back seat sat his brand new school uniform, a simple light blue collared shirt with the school logo emblazoned on the front, a figure of child holding a teddy bear in one hand an adult's hand in the other. Along with the shirt was a pair of slacks and pair of shorts. Tom took some solace in the fact that he didn't have to wear the even more babyish uniform of the lower grades. Still he knew everywhere he went he would be unmistakably identified as the grade school student he now was. And he was beginning to wonder if this really wasn't the place he belonged after all. Chapter 3 Tom strode though the entrance of Stone Ridge Junior High. “Hey Tom” called out one of his friends. Tom joined up with his friends who were already hanging out in the hall discussing the usual teenage stuff. There was some talk of how great it would be once they got their learner's permits which none of them were too far away from getting. Somewhere in the distance there was gentle music. It played so softly Tom didn't so much hear it as sense it. Slowly it grew louder and more distinct, it was now clearly a nursery rhyme. Tom glanced around but nobody else seemed to notice. Eventually it grew to drown out the conversation. Tom stood up and covered his ears, nobody else reacted at all. Tom woke to the electronic screeching of his alarm clock. He reached over and smacked it back into silence, in the quite gray light of morning reality flooded back to him. His new school uniform freshly laundered and folded was already sitting on the chair next to him. He reluctantly went about the business of getting ready for his 2nd day of the fifth grade. He sloped down the stairs and into the kitchen trying his best to ignore his mother's “isn't he cute” looks as he sat down to breakfast “Aww honey, it's not that bad is it?” she finally spoke up. “I just want to go where I'm supposed to go instead of spending all day with a bunch of little kids.” Tom groused. Karen ran her fingers gently through her son's hair “I know you won't like this but you might not be quite as grown-up as you think.” Tom scowled, feeling angry at his mother for making such a comment, but mostly because he was afraid she was right. Somewhere inside him he felt a glimmer of hope that somebody might really know the young adult he was always trying to look like, but he quickly pushed it back down and continued eating his breakfast. Karen rubbed his back “I know it's no fun right now honey, but I think this might be for the best” she said before leaving the room to make a phone call. At Kiddie Town Karen explained the situation to Sarah who had been sure to inform Tom of how adorable he looked in his new uniform. Karen gave her son a good-bye kiss on his forehead and left him again care of Sarah and her staff. A she drove away she wondered if she would ever reach the little boy she knew was under her son's defiant exterior. Tom found his seat from the day before still unhappy to be stuck in daycare but feeling somewhat less conspicuously mature now that he dressed like most of the other children. After a few minutes he heard a familiar voice behind him. “Hey, I thought you said you a big kid.” Tom turned around and saw Johnny from the day before. “I am” John explained “In fact I'm a teenager.” “But you're wearing a Sunny Brook uniform just like me, even though mine is sort of different cause I'm in the third grade.” “Somebody made a mistake I'm supposed to go to a different school.” Tom shot back defensively. “It's OK if you're not a big kid, you can still play with us over there” Johnny said pointing out some of his friends on the other side of the room.” “I don't want to play. Why don't you get wet you diapers with your friends?” Tom snorted derisively. “Fine” Johnny said rolling his eyes. Tom turned back around and blinked. He realized how immature he looked in contrast to the third grader who wanted nothing more to play with him. He shook his head and dismissed it all as a reaction to the stress he was under. At school Tom shuffled back into his classroom and found his desk still labeled “Tommy.” Mrs. Sanborn noticed him staring at it. “I'm sorry I forgot to change that, do you really mind being called 'Tommy' so much?” She asked him. Tom to his surprise found himself answering “no.” It was a battle he was weary of fighting. Mrs. Sanborn smiled warmly “Well Tommy, we're certainly glad to have you stay with us.” As kids filtered into the classroom nobody seemed very surprised to see Tom back in class again. It seemed that the entire world had quite easily accepted him as fifth grader. Class began and Tom could see that this day was going to be like the last. He struggled to gain even the faintest grasp of the material. How could these mere children be so far beyond him? Finally recess gave him a brief reprieve from his classroom struggles. Today the playground seemed like entirely different place. Yesterday he had assumed he just a visitor. But today this was his playground, he was truly under the watchful eye of the adults who kept the students safe and behaved. He sat down again in a swing and watched the goings on. After a few minutes he found himself absentmindedly swinging back and forth a bit. He caught himself and composed himself back into the teenager he felt himself to be making a mental note to only do what little kid stuff was necessary to make it through this situation. The bell signaling the end of recess rang and Tom lined up obediently joined the rest of his class in a neat line as they waited for their teacher to bring them back into class. Mrs. Sanborn took a quick head count of her charges and led them back into class. On the way in Tom became a aware of an urge from his bladder. Not wishing to make the fuss of asking his fifth grade teacher for permission to go he decided to hold it until lunch. But as class progressed the need to empty his bladder became increasingly dire. Finally he was forced to raise his hand. “Yes Tommy?” Mrs. Sanborn acknowledged. “I need to use the restroom.” “Now Tommy you should know by now that your expected to take of that during recess. We only have 15 minutes until lunch and I think you need that time to catch up on your bounded harmonics.” For the next 15 minutes Tom fought his bladder's desperate need for release. When his class finally let out for lunch he made a mad dash for the restroom. There he discovered something very odd. He hadn't noticed before but the button on his pants had a weird sort of latch that had to be worked to open the fly. He sat and stared at it for a moment unable to quite figure out how to undo it. Around him his fellow students ran in and out of the bathroom seeming to have no difficulty at all with this complication. As he struggled he felt his bladder release. A warm wet feeling spread through his pants as he soaked himself helplessly. Along with a sense of utter embarrassment also came a wave of relief and a sense of dread as he realized what he'd have to do. He came out of the bathroom trying to pull his shirt down in a futile attempt to hide his accident. He found his teacher and fighting back tears tried to explain himself. She noticed his wet pants before he could even begin his explanation. “Oh Tommy, couldn't quite hold it dear?” Tom could only shake his head as he followed his teacher to the office. Once there he just looked at the ground while he was led in to see the school nurse. The nurse saw what he was there for immediately “Aww It's OK honey, we'll get you into some dry clothes” she said. “You can come back class when your done here Tommy” Mrs. Sanborn said as she left him in the nurses office. Tom turned to the nurse desperate to explain himself “It's just because of these pants, they've got some weird thing on the button and I couldn't get them off.” he pleaded. He was slightly shocked when she didn't waste a moment reaching over and undoing his button. “You're clothes are just fine. You don't need to make silly excuses hon, little boys have accidents it's nothing to be embarrassed about.” “I'm not a little boy” Tom almost whimpered. “Uh huh” she replied as she helped him out of his wet clothes. Tom blushed deeply as he tried to cover himself. She dumped the soaked things into a plastic bag and grabbed a few things from the closet. “Here you go hon, you can wear these.” Tom sighed slightly as he saw the cartoon print underwear he'd just been handed. He knew he had no choice in the matter so he pulled them on along with a pair of dry pants, this time he noticed these had the same sort of fly. “Thank you” he muttered feeling embarrassed at having been so dependent on her. “Anytime hon.” She said patting his head. “Now go get back to class, I'll call your mom so she'll know to pick up your wet things.” Tom nodded and headed back to class suddenly feeling much more like a real elementary schooler. Chapter 4 After returning from the school nurse Tom spent the rest of the day half eager and half dreading the the end of school. On one hand he'd be able to get away from this bizarre place, but on the other he'd have to explain to his mom why he'd wet his pants. Class ended promptly at 3 and he trudged his way to the parking lot and saw his mother was already there. Drawing a deep breath he climbed into the passenger prepared to defend himself. “Hey hon, have a rough day at school?” His mother inquired sympathetically. “Yeah sort of. But it's not my fault...” “I know it's not your fault, lots of kids have accidents. You just didn't know they don't give bathroom passes here.” Tom was amazed at the way his mother was taking this. It was as though he really was a child who couldn't be fully expected to handle his toileting. He wasn't sure whether he should accept the sympathy or insist on being treated like someone his own age. “I guess you're kind of right.” Tom shrugged feeling relieved to get the issue behind him. All he had to do was figure out how to work that odd little latch. For now he could live with the little kid treatment, and in a strange town where he had learn so many new things he was finding it to be something of a saving grace. Karen smiled at her son and ruffled his hair “That's my boy.” At home Tom flopped down in front of the TV happy to have another day behind him. He knew the cable had been installed that day and was eager to watch MTV and forget about how he spent the day at elementary school. He cycled through the channels a few times but couldn't find anything that looked anything like MTV. “Mom?” he called “Do you know what channel MTV is on?” “The cable company here doesn't have it. Why don't find something else to watch.” Tom sighed and figured he could easily find something else. But he found nothing at all that interested him. As far as he could tell almost all of them were for old people or least people who understood that boring financial talk, a few had weird movies he just didn't understand. Finally he settled on the one thing he could understand, cartoons. He hadn't seen this one before, and he had to admit it he was enjoying it. He'd known kids back at home who still watched cartoons, some were even popular. But he always thought it was all to babyish for him. But here he was and after a long day it was relaxing to just sit and enjoy something. Before he long he once again felt his bladder begin to call for emptying. He waited for a commercial and went into the bathroom determined to figure out that latch that had defeated him earlier. He'd seen the nurse open it so he thought he knew what to do but he still struggled with it. From Tom's perspective it was rather complicated and required quite a bit of finesse. He fought for several minutes as the urge grew. Finally he decided he'd need help. “Uh... mom. I sort of need some help. Please.” He called from the door of the bathroom. “Yes hon?” She said walking up to the door and looking at him curiously. “It's just this button, it's weird. I don't really know how to open it.” Tom blushed as asked like a toddler for help going to the bathroom. Without another word she reached down and effortlessly undid the button. “There you go, is this why you had that accident today?” Tom just nodded blushing a bit more. “Well that's OK, you'll get the hang of it, all the other children do.” Tom finished his business and went back to watching cartoons. He'd already been watching for some time and was becoming hooked. The evening wore on and eventually his mother came in to announce that it was time to get ready for bed. “Mom, it's only 9 O'clock. I never go to bed this early.” He protested. “You've been staying up far too late, and your teacher say you have a lot of catching up to do so you'll need your rest.” Tom sulked but decided not to argue that he was too old for this with the woman who had laundered his wet pants. He went up stairs to his room and began to undress. His mother wasn't too far behind. “Still need help with those pants.” Tom again acquiesced to his mother helping him with his clothes. He unbuttoned his pants and helped him out of them thinking to herself about how cute he looked in the cartoon print underwear. “You need any more help hon?” she asked. “No I can do the rest.” Tom said feeling a bit embarrassed. “Alright, I put some pjs on your dresser if you want to wear them, it's going to get pretty chilly tonight. Good night sweety.” “Good night, mom.” Tom said as she left the room. He'd given up wearing pajamas some time ago and preferred to sleep in his underwear. Not the underwear like he was currently wearing, he changed out of that, but pajamas were one of the many things he'd felt he'd outgrown. He turned out the light and climbed into bed. After a a few minutes of tossing and turning he realized that it wasn't just chilly it was freezing. No matter how he piled the covers he was still cold. He got out of bid and slipped on the pajamas his mother had left for him. Luckily they didn't have any cartoon characters on them or anything like that. But they were warm and cozy. Tom climbed back into bed as comfy as he could be and quickly fell into a deep sleep. Chapter 5 Tom made his way through another morning at Kiddie Town and sat though another bewildering day of class. He couldn't understand how these little kids could know so much more than him, how they could be so much more capable than him in so many ways. Unable to follow the day's lessons his mind kept wandering back to the day before and how he'd wet his pants just because he wasn't able to do something everybody else found so simple. These thoughts became more intense when he once again began to feel the need to go the restroom. The last thing he wanted to do was have an accident for the second day in a row so he sat and thought about how he'd finally undo that stupid latch. At last it was time for recess and he bolted for the boy's room. He examined it for a minute. He'd seen it worked several times now and had a pretty good idea of how to do it. He made several attempts making some progress, but the mechanism was ultimately too delicate for him. He sighed deeply and walked out to the playground. He found his teacher and looking at his shoes stammered “I think I sort of need some help.” “What do you need Tommy?” Mrs. Sanborn asked. “I just need some help undoing this fly.” Tommy said barely above a whisper. She bent down close so she could hear him “What was that dear?” Tommy again whispered into her ear and she briefly gave him a surprised look. “OK, let's get that taken of.” She followed his into the restroom and easily helped him with his predicament. All the while she was careful not to hurt his feeling but Tom could tell from the way she looked at him that she was beginning to think he didn't even belong in her class. He finished up hoping that nobody had witnessed anything. At the end of class that day Tom started for the door when he heard Mrs. Sanborn call his name. He turned back around and went up to her desk. “Tommy, I have a note here for your mother. Could you get her to sign it and bring it back tomorrow?” Tom took the envelope and nodded. He had some idea of what was in it, but he knew he had little choice but to give it to his mom. Not wanting to deal with it right after school he shoved it deep into his backpack and went out to her car. “Hey sweety, did you have a better day today?” She greeted him. “Yeah” Tom said shrugging his shoulders. “I'm have to head by the mall for a bit, wanna come with me?” “Sure” Tom said. Tom listened to the radio and watched the scenery go by and began to forget about having to ask his teacher for help going to the bathroom. The car pulled into the mall parking lot and Tom gawked at how huge it was. He was sure there'd be plenty of things for him to do that would let him forget about being an elementary schooler for a while. Inside the mall was incredibly crowded. Tom was surprised that such a small town could produce so many people but was to interested in finding an arcade to care very much. “Hey mom can I go look around, I'll meet you back here in an hour.” His mom gave him a skeptical look and for a moment he thought she'd say no “Alright, but be back in half an hour instead” she said before handing him some money to play around with. Tom was thrilled, finally he was getting a taste of teenage freedom. He got a large soda at the food court and began to look around. He spotted an arcade and walked confidently over to it. But when he got inside he paused. He got out a dollar bill and got some tokens from the machine and began to look around for something to play. But as he explored he noticed that the other teenagers were looking at him like he was an invader. He realized that because of his uniform everybody there assumed he was just a little kid who'd probably throw a damper on the fun they were having. It probably didn't help that he was so much smaller than any of them. He was always a bit shorter then average, but these kids simply towered over him. He did his best to ignore them and just enjoy his time away from adult supervision. He found one of his favorite games from back home and popped in a token. For the first few seconds it was the same game he was used to. But this version was harder somehow. He'd always been able to play for what seemed forever on one quarter, but this time he was dead in under a minute. He stared at the death screen in shock. From somewhere off to the side a kid not much older than himself chuckled “Don't worry kid I wasn't very good at that when I was your age either, you'll get better.” Tom was about to inform him that he was not some little brat when he heard the voice of the attendant behind him “Excuse me son, is your mom here?” Tom turned around to face him bewildered that he'd be asking such a question “No, she's out shopping. I don't need her to be with me every second.” He answered. “Well you need her here, we don't allow anyone under 12 without a parent.” “But I...” Tom thought for a second and decided that admitting to being a teenager in elementary school wasn't what he wanted to do and that nobody would believe him anyway. He sulked out of the arcade and went to wait for his mom. As he waited he began to feel the effects of the large soda. He decided to wait until he got home where he could at least try to work that cursed latch in private, or worse yet ask for help again. He was about to give in and go search for a restroom when his mom appeared. “Hi hon, have fun?” “Yeah I guess” Tom said before hesitating for a moment “I really need to go to the bathroom and I think...” “Still need some help with that?” Tom nodded as his face turned red. “Well come on.” His mother said before leading him off in the direction of the bathroom. The crowd had grown quite thick and Tom struggled to keep up with his mother. He felt more like a little kid than ever before trying so desperately to stay with his mom but he didn't know what else to do. Eventually the task became so difficult that she reached out her hand for Tom to take. Knowing he had little choice Tom took her hand. He took some small solace in the fact that none of his friends from back home were here to see him being led by the hand so his mom could help him go to the bathroom. They turned a corner onto the main concourse of the mall where things were even more crowded. Tom couldn't even see where he was going, he was now simply being dragged through the throng. He felt a bolt of panic as his mother's hand slipped out of his. He tried to go around to get back to where he thought she was but he just got pushed back further and further. His need to go to the bathroom was now beyond desperate and there was little he could do to even find his way let alone undo his pants by himself. Unable to hold it any longer Tom felt his bladder release uncontrollably and the warm wetness spread through his crotch and down his leg. Looking down at his soaked pants Tom began to feel like nothing more than a lost little boy. Tears flooded into his eyes and finally some people in the crowd took notice. “Hey are you lost” a voice from behind him asked. Tom turned around to find a girl who was maybe somewhere toward the end of her high school years leaning down at looking at him sympathetically. Tom could only sniffle and nod. “Well let's get you somewhere where your mom kind find you and get you into some dry pants” his new caretaker said as she took his hand. Still lightly sobbing Tom didn't know what else to do but comply. He was led over to a nearby information booth where the girl explained she'd found a lost child. After getting his name and description the attendant at the booth made an announcement and within a few minutes Tom's mother appeared. “Oh baby, I'm sorry I let go of your hand. I'll make sure that never happens again” she exclaimed as she bent down to give him a hug. Forgetting himself for a moment Tom returned the hug and rested his head on her shoulder taking comfort in his mother's arms. “And don't worry about hose pants. It's not your fault. Well get you into something dry at home.” She thanked Tom's teenage rescuer for finding her boy and taking his hand in a firm grip led him back out to the car. At home she took him upstairs and helped him out of his wet things. “I want you to know that I'm not angry at you in any way. But you are going have to figure out how to undo your pants on your own. I just bought you a new bunch of pants and everything they sell here has the same thing.” Tom nodded as he got himself into the dry clothes his mother had laid out. “Now go ahead and watch your cartoons. I'll get all this in the wash for you.” Tom couldn't believe how understanding his mother was. He couldn't believe how much he was beginning to fit the role of little boy that had been thrust on him. But he didn't want to think about any of that now, he just wanted to watch some cartoons and forget about the day. Upstairs his mother couldn't help but notice an envelope sticking out of his backpack. Chapter 6 As Tom sat down to dinner with his mother he could easily see she wanted to talk about something. “I saw that note from your teacher” she said casually. Tom's stomach turned. He'd completely forgotten about it. “What did it say” he stammered trying to act as unconcerned as possible. “Well she said your well behaved and that you try hard” she said sparing Tom the comments about how adorable he was “But she thinks you might not be ready for her class.” That was exactly what what Tom had feared. “But I'm not even supposed to be in her class” Tom said exasperated. “Now honey, we both know the test they gave you showed you had some catching up to do. Mrs. Sanborn says your really struggling with what the other children are learning. And maybe if you had a little less pressure you could learn how to undo your pants. ” Tom sank into his chair. “Can't I at least have a little more time to try?” he pleaded. “She wants to have a parent teacher conference tomorrow. We'll talk about it then. And you know I won't let anything happen that's not in your best interest right?” “Yeah, I suppose” Tom acknowledged as he glumly went about finishing his dinner. But as he sat he felt a new sense of determination. Like never before he was committed to figuring out that hated latch and proving to everybody he really was grownup. Suddenly feeling buoyed he sat his plate in the sink and ran up to the room to begin. He sat and struggled for several hours. Several time he almost gave up but he knew this was his last chance to prove that he didn't need to be sent to an even lower grade. Finally he did it. He knew it was odd for a 13 year-old to feel proud about being able to undress himself but he couldn't help it. Quickly he buttoned back up and tried again releasing the latch with little trouble. Like a proud toddler he called his mom in to witness his new found skill. “I knew you'd get it. Maybe that will help convince the school to keep you in the fifth grade.” His mom said patting his head. Tom would have ordinarily resented being patted on the head in such a manner but he was far too happy to care. And when his mom reminded him that it was nearly his new 9 O'clock bedtime he didn't feel any need to protest. His simply got into his PJs by himself and went to bed finally feeling at least a little grownup. At school the next day Tom was still confused by the lessons but he was beginning to think that if he could figure out the latch he could figure out this stuff too. Even when class ended and his mother and the principal came in to discuss his future he felt very confident. Tom took a seat next to his mother and waited as the adults exchanged greeting. “Now down to business” Mrs Sanborn began “One of my biggest concerns is that Tommy doesn't seem to be able to handle undressing himself to use the restroom.” “But I figured it out” Tommy interrupted. He stood up and began to demonstrate his new found skill. He felt a little ridiculous doing this in front of three people but he know it was necessary. But something was wrong, he did exactly what he did the night before but the latch didn't come undone. “I did it last night, I don't know why it isn't working. Maybe it's broken or something” He said feeling a bit of panic. “Tommy hon” Mrs. Sanborn said “They all work differently. Every pair has it's own combination if you want to call it that. And most of them have a little computer chip in them that rearranges the way it works every day.” Tommy looked at her like she was insane. “But why? Why do they even put these on here?” Tommy could only keep looking at her in shock as she went into an explanation he could barely understand. All he could manage to figure out was that it had something to do with promoting neurological development. Tommy fell back into his chair wondering how he'd ever figure out all the different latches, especially when some of them even changed. He barely paid attention as the three adults went about discussing his readiness for the fifth grade. “Well” the principal said “What I'm going to do for now is put Tommy in the third grade and we'll see if we need to something more drastic.” “Third grade?” Tom said in disbelief “Can't you just send me back one grade?” “Don't worry you'll have a chance to work your way back” the principal reassured him “But as part of that we're going to expect you to take care of your own clothing. We think in a setting were your won't struggle so much with school you'll be able to learn to handle that on your own.” On the ride back Tom barely spoke a word. In the back seat sat his new uniform, a similar shirt with a pair of short pants and suspenders. The shirt had the name “Tommy” sewn neatly into it. His mother was clearly thinking hard about something and that suited him just fine, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. Suddenly he noticed she was turning into the parking lot of the local supermarket. “Mom” he finally spoke up “Can't we just go straight home today?” “I'm just going to get one thing, now come along with me.” “I'm just going to stay in the car and listen to the radio.” “Don't you remember how you got lost in the mall? I just want to keep a close eye on you.” Tom sighed and got out of the car. As he began to step out into the traffic lane he felt her grab his arm. Looking up at her and noticing the seriousness in her face he quickly acquiesced and took her hand. Inside the store he paid little attention to where his mother was going as he followed her and nursed his wounded pride. Finally she stopped and he looked up at the bright packages lining the store's diaper aisle. He watched in silent horror as his mother placed a package boy's Pull-Ups into the cart. “Mom please” he began to plead not thinking how he was clearly identifying himself as the intended wearer “I promise I'll try really hard, I don't need to wear diapers.” “These aren't diapers honey, I don't think you need those yet. But I can't have you coming home in wet pants every day.” He opened his mouth again to protest but was cut short. “I've already made my decision. As soon as you show that you can use the potty you can wear underwear again.” He began to speak again but quickly thought better of it. “Do you understand?” She asked. Yes.” Tom replied meekly. “Good boy” She said stroking his head. “I have a feeling this will work out in the end.” Chapter 7 When they returned home they both went straight to Tom's room to get him into his training pants. After being helped out of his pants Tom quickly grabbed a Pull-Up from the open bag. He was in no hurry to start wearing them but he at least wanted the dignity of putting them on himself. He looked at the brightly colored thing he held in his hands and a bevy of cartoon characters smiled eagerly back at him. He didn't recognize any of them but they were clearly meant to appeal to preschoolers. “The little stripe goes in back.” His mother helpfully pointed out. Seeing no reason to delay further Tom pulled his brand new pants into place. They weren't like real underwear the way the ads said. They were obviously thicker. Tom try to reassure himself that this wasn't a diaper, but he knew it was close. His mother held out his pants for him to step into. “Now I'm not going to help you with this anymore except for getting you dressed. You'll learn how to do it yourself, you just need to try. And if you have an accident just let me or the school nurse know and we'll help you get into a new Pull-Up. OK?” Tom couldn't believe the words he was hearing. It was his Pull-Up and he was going to need help from grown ups changing into a new one. He could only nod his acquiescence. “Good boy. Now go watch TV and I'll get dinner ready” giving him a pat on the bottom. As dinner approached his bladder began to strain. He'd made a few attempts at the button but quit in frustration. Now the need was getting dire. He walked the the bathroom, every step felt like it could shake loose the flood gates. He struggled again, twisting and pulling at the strange device. But control slipped away from him. This time there were no wet pants, just the damp heaviness of his training pants. “Tommy, dinner's ready!” He no longer took note of the name. How could he tell his mother he'd wet his Pull-Up after just a few hours of having it on? He crept into the kitchen still unsure what to say. “Hey honey. How's your Pull-Up doing?” she asked with an unnerving amount of casual directness. “Oh... It's still fine.” Tom said looking down. “Are you sure” she said trying to catch his gaze. “Yea...Yeah” She crossed her arms and looked him directly in the eyes “Do I have to check?” “Alright, I sort of had an accident.” “I thought so. Let's go get you into a dry one.” She began to lead him back to his room. “You need to tell me if you have an accident. You could get a rash if you don't changed soon enough.” Once in his room he was relieved of his shoes and pants. “Dry as a bone” his mother commented as she quickly inspected his pants. “Looks like we won't have to worry about leaks.” Tom started to remove his Pull-Up. “Oh honey let me get that, you don't know where to put it” she lowered the sodden thing and helped him step out of it before tossing it in a pail that had taken up residence near his bed. “I'm sorry sweety, I forgot to buy wipes hold on a sec'. She left for the bathroom and returned with a wet cloth in hand. “Mom, please let me do this” he pleaded. She thought for a moment and handed him the cloth. “OK, but if I notice you aren't cleaning up well enough I'm going to do it myself.” Tom breathed a sigh of relief and washed himself as thoroughly as he could manage before stepping into a new Pull-Up and getting dressed again. He went downstairs again for dinner and tried to content himself with this one measure of maturity he was still allowed. Eventually his bedtime came and all he could think about was getting out of his new juvenile underpants. He rushed to remove the Pull-Up on his own as his mother dropped his clothes in the hamper. “Is that dry” she asked as he walked over to the pail. “Yes, it's totally dry” he said. She leaned over and took it from his hand. “Just let me see” she said gently but with a pronounced sense of maternal authority as she took it from his hand. “Yep, dry as can be. Good job” she said as she deposited in the pail. “Why don't you try to go use the potty before bed OK?” “But mom, I don't need to. And would you stop saying potty. Just cause I've had a few accidents cause of these stupid buttons...” She raised an eyebrow and Tom relented. Without any impediments he was able handle his business on his own for once. When he came back he found his mom holding another Pull-Up. “Mom, I don't need one of those. I don't wet the bed. I just have accidents sometimes.” “I want you to wear one at night for a while just in case. Especially if you're going to be so unwilling to use the potty before bed.” Tom moaned again and slid himself into his nighttime Pull-Up and got into his PJs.. He was tucked into bed with a good night kiss and drifted off to sleep. Chapter 8 Tom could hear his mother already up getting things ready for the day as he slowly came awake. He felt the still unfamiliar snug padding beneath his pajamas and recalled the previous day. As he reached down to feel the front of them he found himself dry and wondered how he'd come to even doubt it. The door slowly opened and his mother peeked in. “Good morning sweety, did you sleep OK?” “Yeah I guess.” “Good” she sat down as his bed “Still dry?” “Of course” Tom said almost managing to sound like nothing else could have even crossed his mind. “Good boy” she said softly ruffling his hair “I just wanted to explain a few things about today since there's a lot of new things happening. I'm going to put some of your Pull-Ups in your backpack. When you get to school I want you to go to the office and give them to the nurse, she'll keep them in a cabinet for you. After that one of the office ladies will show you where your new classroom is. Do you think you can handle that by yourself or do you want me to go with you?” “Mom, that stuff is really simple. I'm not really some little kid. I can handle it.” “Of course your a big boy” she said chucking him under the chin “I just want to make sure your comfortable with all these changes.” “Thanks mom, but I'm sure I can do it on my own.” “Just remember you can have the office call me if you need anything. Now get a shower and I'll get your clothes out.” Tom grumbled to himself as he got out of bed. “And remember to put your Pull-Up in the pail.” Seeing that she wasn't going anywhere he got out of his PJs and dumped his training pants in the pail. He saw her watching closely to make sure it really was dry. The shower gave him a rare few moments of privacy and independence. He had a small shower radio that hung from the nozzle. He turned the knob until he zeroed in on a faint and distant station playing something that sounded like what a teenager ought to be listening to. He closed his eyes and tried to take it all in. But somehow it seemed wrong, like something from a place he didn't belong. He turned off the shower, grabbed his towel, and returned to his room. He found his mother waiting for him with his new school clothes in her lap. “I almost forgot” she said “The latches on these need to be done when you put them on too. It's supposed to help more with neurological development. It's not supposed to help as much in the later grades so they use a different kind.” Tom stood in shock as she held out his Pull-Ups for him to step into. “You mean you're going to get me dressed too?” “It's not a big deal honey, it's just until you learn how to do it yourself.” He sighed and put one foot and then another into his training pants and his mother soon had him in his brand new school uniform. “You look nice” she smiled as she made a few adjustments. Tom looked down at the hopelessly juvenile clothes he'd just been helped into and wondered what his friends back home would think. Even as a real third grader he'd never had been caught dead in short pants and suspenders. “I look like a baby” he complained. “No you don't. Those are perfectly fine clothes for a lit...” she cleared her throat “I mean big boy. You just have to get used to them is all.” Later that morning he was again dropped off at Kiddie Town Daycare. He slumped into his usual seat and glared at the floor. “Hey Tommy” shouted an excited voice. He looked up and saw Johnny smiling at him once again. “How come you're wearing one of the younger kid's uniforms?” Johnny asked “And how come you never told me your name before?” He asked pointing at the name stitched in his shirt. “I'm wearing this because... well because the teachers are all stupid. And I didn't tell you my name because I don't want to be friends with a big dumb baby.” Johnny rolled his eyes “I was just asking some questions, jeez.” Tom looked down again feeling a bit embarrassed by his outburst. He looked up again and saw Johnny walking back to rejoin his friends. He thought almost spoke up again to apologize but held back. In time his bus came and took him to back Sunny Brook. He walked into the office and up to the desk. “I'm supposed to give some stuff to the nurse and then I have to go to a... uh... different class room.” He explained. “Oh you must be the boy whose going into the third grade. Tommy Welton right?” Tom just nodded “Yes, could I just see the nurse and get this over with please?” “I'm sure you're excited to get to your new class dear, but there's just a few things we need to do first” She took out a form from beneath her desk. “Now what is your P.A.T. Number?” Tom look at her dumbfounded “I don't even know what that is.” “Oh a big boy like you must remember that.” She said expectantly. Tom just shook his head. “See if he has one of those big yellow cards” suggested one of the other secretaries “They usually give them to the Kindergarteners but he may have one too.” “I don't have one of those. Can't we just do this later?” Tom pleaded. “We can just skip that part for now” She looked further down the form “OK, are you a N.E.C.P student?” Tom blinked “I don't know what that is either.” The secretary just shook her head a bit “That's OK hon, we'll just call your mother. She'll know all this. Just go have a seat over there.” She said motioning to a row of seats behind him. Tom sighed and sat down. His legs dangled from the enormous chair as his mom was called to take care of the process for him. He didn't understand much of what they talked about except for the part about how cute he was in his uniform. After a few minutes she hung up the phone and walked over to him. “There we go hon, all taken care of. Your mother asked me to make sure you didn't forget about your pullups.” Tom gasped a bit “She told you about that?” She smiled bemusedly “It's no big deal. Just hand them to me and I'll take them over to Nurse Carlson.” Tom sighed and tried as discreetly as he could to retrieve them from his backpack and hand them over. He watched as she went a short way down the hall and sat them down on a table just outside a door. “Debra” she called into the room “these diapers are for Tommy Welton. I'll just leave them right here.” She walked back over to him “Now let's get you over to Mrs. Taylor's class.” Tom trotted along behind her wondering if he'd even be able to make it as a third grader. Mrs. Taylor's class was just getting underway when they came through the door. “Sorry we're late, we had a few details to go over with his mom.” she explained. “Oh you must be Tommy” the tall and slightly graying woman at the front of the class beamed “We were waiting for you. You can have your seat right next to Johnny and we'll begin.” Tom looked over at the empty seat right next to the kid he only knew as some persistent runt from the daycare. He took a breath and sat down. Johnny smiled and whispered “Hey, maybe we can be friends after all.” Tom just ignored him. “Class this is Tommy Welton. He's new here and I want you all to give him a good welcome. You're in luck today Tommy. We're going to be going over gravitational lensing which should be review from the second grade so you won't have much catching up to for today.” Tom could only stare as an elementary school teacher once again patiently explained concepts that he couldn't even grasp, every now and then she'd jot some alien word on the blackboard. “Now” she said with one firm clap of her hands “I think we're ready for a little pop quiz.” As the children around him groaned in disappointment Tom began to panic. He didn't want to be sent back any further but he was sure to be found out as having no idea what was going on now. As the quiz sheets were passed around the room he could only hope that it would at least be a true-false quiz. But when they pale blue sheet landed on the desk in front of him he didn't even know where to begin. He sat, pencil in hand, frozen. While the teacher turned her back to help another student he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Johnny discreetly tilting his already completed quiz toward him. He quickly jotted down the answers and sat down his pencil just before Mrs. Taylor turned back around. The quizzes were collected and Mrs. Taylor went to her desk to grade them, instructing the class to begin reading chapter 9. Tom leaned over and whispered to Johnny “Thanks. You really saved my life. I'm sorry about being mean to you, I'm just sort having trouble with teachers and stuff.” “No problem” Johnny whispered back “Wanna play at recess.” Tom hesitated but he decided it might be for the best to just try and fit in. “Alright, I guess I can see what you guys do around here. Johnny beamed “Cool.” Once recess came Johnny led the way out a series of squares and circles painted on the blacktop. They soon joined by two other boys Tom recognized from his new class. “Tommy, this is Scott and Kyle. We usually play Boxes and Circles at recess.” “I don't think I've ever heard of that” Tom said. “Oh it's really easy” Johnny said before launching into a long and intricate explanation. “Oh OK” Tom said scratching his head. “I guess I can try to learn.” “Great, just ask if you get confused we all play this a lot so we can help.” Tom stepped into one of the squares as he was instructed and watched some of the initial play before the ball came bouncing his way. Thinking he'd gotten the hang of it he jumped to catch it. “No catchies” explained Kyle “That's minus five points for Tommy.” The rest of recess went on in much the same way with Tom losing points and the other boys displaying obvious patience for their new playmate. By the time the bell rang he was far behind, despite his wounded pride he felt relieved to have finally had a little bit of fun and make friends. Even if he was being treated like an interloping little brother he felt like he was beginning to find a place here. As he sat down at his desk he realized he'd been so focused on his game he hadn't noticed his growing need to use the bathroom. It was nearly an hour and a half to lunch and he already very much needed to go. He hesitated at first but as the strain in his bladder grew and the clock slowed he raised his hand. “Yes Tommy, do you have a question?” Mrs. Taylor said pausing her lecture. “I really have to go to the bathroom.”Tom nearly begged. She thought for a moment “We usually expect our students to tend to themselves during recess but I'll let you go just this once.” Tom thanked her and quickly walked to the door. Outside he began to run as fast as his overflowing bladder would allow but this time he didn't even make it to the end of the hallway. He'd nearly forgotten abut his Pull-Up, now it was sodden and heavy, there was only enough dampness to remind him of his accident. He paused and thought. If he went to the nurse right away everyone would surely know something was wrong, Mrs. Taylor might even ask what took him so long in front of everybody. He waited a reasonable amount of time and walked back to class. When the lunch finally came he nearly sprang from his seat in his eagerness to get out of his clammy training pants. “Hey Tommy” called Johnny “Don't you want to eat lunch with us?” Tom turned back around “Oh yeah! I just have to do some... stuff first. I'll see you guys in a few minutes.” Johnny just shrugged as Tom sped off to the office. He paused at the nurses door. She was busy refreshing her supplies. She was obviously younger than most of the staff, though still very much an adult to Tom's eyes. Tom stood and watched her. He struggled to find the words he needed to say. Before he could say a word she caught him at the edge of her vision and gave him a energetic smile “Hey there Tommy” She said bending down to face him at eye level. “Did you have another accident hon?” she said sympathetically. “Yeah, kind of.” She put a hand on his shoulder “Well let's get you into something dry then.” She walked over to a drawer on the other side of the room, retrieved one of his Pull-Ups, and sat it down on the examination table. “Do you need some help with those pants?” She asked. Tom just nodded and she effortlessly undid them and pulled them down to his ankles. She began to help him out of his wet Pull-Ups. “Do you like the Cartoonimals?” She said noting the design. “Huh?” “You know The Cartonimals. Cartoon animals. Lots of kids around here watch them every day.” “Oh uh, my mom just sort of picked them out for me. I didn't even know what they were.” “Well they're very cute” she said as she pulled out a fresh wipe. “I do that myself” Tom interjected. “I was just thinking I should talk to your mother about that” she said as she cleaned her new patient with expert care “You're already getting a little red. She might be a little more thorough.” she tossed the wipe into a nearby waste basket. “Don't you feel better already.” Tom nodded bashfully. “I thought so” she said holding out the fresh pair of training pants. She helped him back into his clothes. “There you go, all nice and dry.” She adjusted his suspenders and stood back up “Now don't forget to come here as soon as you have accident. I don't want to have come checking up on you.” “Thanks. I will” Tom stammered. “Now go play with you friends.” She shooed him out the door. He rushed to join his friends at lunch. “Hey Tommy. Your just in time” Johnny said “We were just talking about Hegelian dialectics. Scott says that negations come from outside the matter being discussed. I say that they're inherent and internal. What do you think?” Tom looked back and forth between them blankly. “I uh... agree with what you said” he nodded and said to Johnny. He picked over his lunch while the others continued their discussion. He felt like a little kid at a grown-up dinner party. As the afternoon wore on Tom couldn't believe how much he had to catch up on just to be in the third grade. Hardly anything made sense to him. When class was finally dismissed he quickly began to gather his things so he could escape and at least have a chance at enjoying the weekend. But Mrs. Taylor called him over to her desk. “Tommy, I can't help but notice you looked a little confused today. Are you having trouble keeping up with the class?” “No, it's just that there's some new stuff here I didn't learn before.” She nodded “I thought that might be the case” she reached into a drawer beneath her desk “We usually use these in the lower grades but it might help.” She sat a brown teddy bear down on the desk. “This is an Interactive Learning Teddy” she explained “It comes loaded with some games to help you learn some of the more basic material. And it even plays lessons while you sleep. It's very effective. I've already talked to your mother and told her all about it. She sounded very excited about trying it.” Tom stared at the toy for a while. “Well I guess I can try” he said said resignedly. He picked it up and tried to put in his backpack but it wouldn't fit. So he thanked his teacher and made is way to meet his mother, teddy bear clutched firmly in his hand. Chapter 9 Tom climbed into the passenger seat and started to toss his things in the back while his mother greeted him enthusiastically. “Hi honey! Where did you get the teddy bear.” Tom sighed “Mrs. Taylor gave it to me” he said flatly “It's supposed to help with learning or something.” His mom retrieved it from the back seat and admired it for a moment “Well that was very nice of her. You'll have to think of a name for him.” She handed the bear back to her son. “One of our new neighbors invited us over for dinner so we'll just go home real quick before we head over there.” “Do I really have to go too? Couldn't you just order a pizza for me or something?” She began to pull out of the parking lot “There's no way I could find a babysitter in time. You'll be fine.” “But I don't need a babysitter.” He said as defiantly as he could. The car came to a stop at a red light and she looked him right in his eyes “Honey, even if I thought you were big enough you'd still need somebody help you if you have an accident.” Tom tried to stammer a response. “If your a good boy tonight we'll go see a movie. You can even pick” “Alright” He acquiesced. Karen smiled and mussed his hair. “I knew you'd come around. They have a teenage daughter, maybe you two could play video games or something.” Tom arrived at the Lyndens' front door with his face freshly scrubbed and hair neatly combed courtesy of his mother's tending. She rang the doorbell and reached down to adjust his bangs once more. “You look very nice.” Mrs. Lynden greeted them both at the door and ushered them inside As they entered the dining room room Tom wondered why his mother had mentioned the daughter but not the younger child for whom a a bright red plastic booster seat had been set up at the far end of the table. “I've set up two places for you and Tommy over there” Mrs. Lyndon said pointing towards the childish thing. Knowing he was expected to be on his best behavior Tom stifled his complaint and tried to settle himself into his designated seat. Without a word he felt his mother's hands at his sides lift him up the last little bit and place him in the booster before sliding the chair back into place. The floor was now well out the reach of his dangling feet and he realized he'd need help again to get down. As this helpless situation dawned on him he looked at the place setting in front of him. Among the neat white plates and shiny silverware sat his plastic plate decorated with some now familiar cartoon characters. Mrs. Lynden saw his surprise and smiled. “Nurse Carlson at your school is a very good friend of mine. We just happened to be talking today and she said how much you like the Cartonimals.” He wanted to protest that he hadn't even known what they were until she pointed them out on his pull-ups. But that wasn't a topic he wanted to bring up. “Thank you.” he managed. “That was very thoughtful of you Susan.” His mother said as she sat down. The doorbell rang again and Mrs. Lynden excused herself to answer the door. “You being very good, just keep it up and we'll go see that movie tomorrow.” Karen said. Mrs. Lynden brought two more guests into the living room. “Karen, Tommy this is Bill and Theresa Burnette from down the street.” She turned to the new arrivals “And this is Karen Welton and her little boy Tommy.” The adults exchanged hellos and Bill, a heavy-set broad-shouldered man with thin graying hair gave Tom a soft playful punch on the shoulder “How you doing there slugger? Enjoying your new school?” “It's fine I guess” Tom replied trying to avoid the subject. “Haley” Mrs. Lynden called up the stairs. “Everybody's here. Would you mind helping me set the table.” A poised confident looking girl came in and graciously introduced herself. She was probably only a few years older than Tom but, but in contrast to his early grade-school uniform, had dressed for the get together in appropriately formal but still fashionable for a teenager clothes. After another round of introductions she went into the kitchen to help her mother bring out the food. With everybody settled in dinner was served. Almost everything was well out of Tom's reach so his mother prepared his plate for him and sat it down. Conversation around the table mostly drifted around adult topics that had little understanding of or interest in though Haley kept up with them quite nicely. Once dessert was out of the way Mrs. Lynden announced that coffee was avalable. “Tommy, we have some video games you might like. Do you want to go with Haley while you chat some more?” Eager to escape the boring adult chit-chat and hangout with somebody around his won age he nodded enthusiastically. As his mother pulled his chair away from the table he avoided anymore assistance by jumping down out of his chair. “Looks like somebody's excited to get some playtime” Mrs Burnette observed “Sorry about boring you with our grown-up stuff honey.” Tom followed Haley down the hallway and into a spacious room with a couch and some beanbag chairs arranged around a TV. A small chest brightly labeled “toys” sat in one corner. “I thought you guys didn't have any other kids here.” Tom said looking puzzled. “We don't. This is just where my mom and I watch the kids we babysit.” Haley replied as she sat down on the couch and picked up a magazine. “All the video games are in the basket next the TV, you can play whatever you want.” “But I thought...” Tom looked back at her engrossed in her fashion magazine. He realized she wasn't here to hang out with him, he knew his place in this arrangement. With a sigh he sat on the brightly colored carpet and turned on the video game system. He didn't really care what was in it. Just that it would distract him from his predicament. As it turned out he'd started something called Floppy Bunny's Big Adventure. He'd never heard of it before and the cutesy graphics didn't seem appealing. This was obviously just a game for little kids but he tried it anyway and became engrossed. He struggled at first but slowly adapted to the challenge. The urgent prodding of his bladder went almost unnoticed. Tom suddenly become aware of the direness of his situation and shot to his feet. “Where's your restroom?” He asked, straining to keep himself dry. “Oh just down the hall” Haley answered “You don't need any help, do you?” Tom barely gave it a thought, he couldn't bare asking for help from somebody who should have been his peer. He took off quickly down the hall and began the familiar struggle with his buttons. It was to no avail though, and his training pants were once again the only thing keeping his pants dry. He sulked out to the dining room and whispered in his mother's ear. She stood up and retrieved her purse from beneath the table. “Excuse us for a second, we just have a little something to attend to” she said as she began leading Tom back to the bathroom. Once again he was stripped down to his pull-up. She kept a calm demeanor but Tom could tell that constantly getting him undressed was beginning to be a chore. He wondered if a new solution might be in store. She pulled a baby wipe from her purse. “The school nurse said you might need some help with this sweety, so stand still.” Tom hung his head slightly while he was cleaned up. Next she retrieved a fresh pull-up. “Now I only brought one spare. So we should probably go home soon.” The lingered at their neighbor's house only a little while longer. Karen thanked her hosts their hospitality and thanked Haley for her help as well. She and Tom headed back home. When bedtime came around Tom was helped out of his clothes. His mother started to get a night time pull-up ready for him but he couldn't help but protest. “Mom, I was dry all last night. Please. Just let me try one night without a pull-up.” She paused an looked at him. “Well you did wake up dry. And you were a very good boy tonight at the Lynden's.” She thought for a moment “OK, we'll try going without a pull-up tonight.” Tom breathed a sigh of relief “Thank you, thank you.” He gave his mother a big hug. She smiled and patted him on the back “But you have to sleep with you bear tonight, that's going to help you at school. And if you're wet in the morning I don't want any more complaining about wearing a pull-up at night. Understand?” Tom nodded “I promise” and pulled his PJs up. He was finally feeling like a big kid again. He took his bear and placed it next to his pillow before climbing into bed. “Good night honey, sweet dreams.” She said as she turned out the light. “Good night mom.” As he lay in the darkness he could hear a strange soft humming coming his teddy bear. It was like nothing he'd heard before but soft and soothing. Before long he had drifted into a very, very deep sleep. Chapter 10 In his dreams Tom walked through a forest beside a babbling brook. He came a a clearing and found a large wooden table stacked with candy. At the head of the table was his teddy bear. “Come Tommy. Sit with me.” He felt almost like he was floating right into a chair besides his teddy. Everything was vivid and real. He could even feel damp grass beneath his bare feet. He looked down and saw he was wearing his pajamas. “Where am I?” he asked. “You're in Teddy Bear Forrest of course” said the bear. Tom glanced up and saw clouds forming in the sky. He started to get up. “No you need to stay here” said the bear. “The more time you spend here the better you'll do in school. Here have some tea.” The bear reached over and poured some tea into a cup that has suddenly appeared. He poured it to the very top of the brim and small trickle ran down the side. Before Tom could say another thing the clouds above him opened up and he was drenched by the falling rain. His room was bright and sunny. He could hear his mother coming from down the hall. For a moment he couldn't understand how the rain had gotten inside, how it had soaked him in his bed. But then he remembered. The door opened and his mother stepped in. “Good morning hon, how are you doing?” Tom just looked down at the wetness between his legs. “I'm sorry mom. I really tried.” “Oh no.” She said as she sat down on the side of his bed and embraced him. “It's OK baby, it's not your fault. Just go get showered and we'll talk about what movie you want to go see.” “Tom's mood brightened slightly “You mean we're still going to do that?” “I don't see why not. Now go get cleaned up and I'll take care of your sheets.” Later as she pulled into the movie theater parking lot Karen asked one last time “Are you sure you want to see this movie? It's supposed to be really scary.” “Mom, I can totally handle it. I'm not really some little kid.” “We can still go to the Floppy Bunny movie, Haley said you really liked that video game.” “You said I could pick the movie and I want to see Ghost Invaders.” “OK, but if you start getting too scared I'm marching you right out of that theater.” They bought their tickets and Tom strode confidently to his seat. All he had to, he thought, was sit through one dumb movie and he'd convince his mother that he wasn't a total baby. This lights dimmed, the film rolled, and the screen came alive with images more vivid than he'd imagined. Theaters back home weren't like this. The movie wasn't 3D but he could almost swear the pictures were coming off the screen. Every rustle of leaves, every footstep, every sinister growl sounded like it was right behind him. He could almost feel the breath on the back of his neck. Without thinking about it he sought out his mother's hand to hold his own. In his horror he inched closer to her, instinctively seeking her protection. Finally he couldn't bare to look at the screen any longer and buried his face in her shoulder. Suddenly he felt himself lifted from his seat. Gentle hands cradled his back and bottom before his feet finally found the ground again in the brightly lit lobby. “It's OK baby it's just a movie” she said stroking his chin. “I know. It was just really... scary I guess.” She wiped the fearful tears from his cheek. “Do you see why I thought Floppy Bunny might be better?” He nodded. “How's your pull-up doing? Did you have an accident?” Tom became aware of a familiar dampness. “Maybe” Karen took her son's hand and led him to the baby changing room. Tom was still too shaken to do anymore than go along. She lowered his pants and checked his pull-up. She began untying his shoes. “I'm sorry Mom” He said “I just wanted to show you I wasn't a baby” “I know you want to be a big boy” She replied while she helped him out of his pants.”But just remember that it's OK to be little too.” She cleaned him up and got him back into dry pants. “I have few errands I need to do. Do you feel OK enough to come along? We could get stop at the ice-cream place at the mall if you'd like.” Tom nodded “That sounds OK.” “Come on then.” She took his hand and they walked back the car. The mall parking lot was packed. Tom remembered their last visit and looked around nervously. “Don't worry” his mother said while she searched for a place to park “I'll make sure you don't lost again.” She found a spot at edge of the lot and opened the trunk. Tom watched as she retrieved something from the trunk, unfolded it, and sat it on the ground in front of him. He couldn't believe what he was looking at. She rolled a stroller back and forth a few times to get the wheels straight. “Hop in sweety. I'd like to start shopping before the lines get any longer.” “But that's for babies.” Tom said incredulously. His mother adopted a patient but slightly sterner tone. “It's for children who have trouble keeping up with their mothers. You remember what happened last time right?” “Yeah, but...” Tom stopped himself. It was just getting harder and harder to argue that he could by in this strange place without being treated the way he was. “I'm know how this must look to you but I also know this is better for you. If we have to turn around and go back home there will be consequences.” Without further protest he settled himself into the stroller. It wasn't awkward and uncomfortable like he'd expected, instead he was nicely accommodated among the babyish designs of the stroller. “I knew you'd be a good boy. Let's go get you some ice-cream.” Securely within his mother's charge Tom was pushed into the thronging mall and to a small ice-cream stand near the entrance. He really just wanted to make as few stops as possible, but he couldn't pass up the scoop Triple Chocolate Fudge he was offered. He ate greedily, enjoying the treat so much he nearly forgot his situation. And with the rich desert settled satisfyingly in his stomach and the steady pace of his mother's pushing he began to feel drowsy. His stroller came to a stop outside a clothing store. His mother knelt down beside him with a baby wipe in her hand and cleaned a stray bit of chocolate from the edge of his mouth. She saw the heaviness in his eyes, she smiled and smoothed his hair. “You can have a little nap if you want honey, I'm just going to be shopping for a while.” She resumed navigating her son through the crowd as he slowly felt himself drift off to sleep. He heard his mother's voice somewhere nearby as he came back to reality. “I've thought about it. I'm just not sure yet. It would be a lot easier than taking off his pants every time though.” “I'm sure you'll make the best decision for him.” An unfamiliar woman's voice answered “Either way he's simply adorable in his little stroller.” He opened his eyes and glanced around. He was parked next to his mother in a small cafe. The unfamiliar voice belonged to an happy looking round faced woman. “Look who's waking up.” she said “Hi there Tommy, your mother and I have just been chatting.” His mother looked over at him. “Hon, this is Mrs. Kerner, she lives in our neighborhood.” Tom squirmed a bit, realizing the women had been talking about him. “Oh, uh... hi.” “Are you still dry?” his mom inquired. “I think so.” “Are you sure? You were out like a light?” “Mom I only wet the be... I mean I'm sure.” “OK then, I won't check as long as your sure. I think it's time to start heading home now anyway.” Karen paid for her coffee and said goodbye Mrs. Kerner before taking Tom back out to the car and driving back home. Tom went straight to his room and flopped onto the bed. He'd hoped a weekend away from school would be a chance to be his own age for two days. But he just kept getting treated like a little kid everywhere he went. Worse than that it all seemed necessary. Absentmindedly he began fiddling with a button on the front of his teddy bear. It's eyes lit up and a speaker hidden within emitted a soft happy song. “Would you like to play the Algebra game with me?” chirped the bear. Tom turned the bear over, looking for someway to start the game. After a minute he looked around to make sure nobody was watching. “Yes” he almost whispered into the bear. “Oh good” said the bear “I've been waiting a long time to play with you.” Tom found the answer and response style of the game immediately intuitive and, for once, the subject matter was something he was at least a little bit familiar. He became engrossed that he didn't notice his mother at the doorway. “Good to see you enjoying your teddy.” Tom tried to compose himself “It's OK. I was just sort of bored I guess.” “I was just going to remind you to try using the potty. You haven't had an accident yet have you?” Tom's eye's widened and he sprinted past his mother and to the bathroom. Even without the disadvantage of his button being to difficult for him it would have been nearly too late. Fatefully he had another accident. He returned to his mother to get cleaned up and changed. “You can stay up a little while longer” she said tossing his pants into the hamper and starting to help him with his shirt. “But it's getting close to your bedtime so I want to get you into your jammies now.” With the sun barely down Tom was dressed in his night clothes. He spent the rest of the evening watching TV until he was tucked into bed after having his Pull-Up checked and found dry. His mother turned out the light on her way out and darkness fell across his room. Memories of the movie flooded back. Every shadow seemed to be a ghost and the world beyond his darkened window was cold and foreboding. He took his teddy from it's place near his pillow and held it against his chest. As though sensing his fear it began to play a soft soothing lullaby. He hugged it tighter. Chapter 11 After a second night of teddy inspired dreams he woke up wet again, this time protected by his training pants. It became a familiar pattern over the next few days. Tom felt himself slipping further and further towards babyhood and it seemed like he could do nothing about it. One evening he noticed his mother searching the Internet for diaper sizes. On Wednesday morning Tom walked into his third grade class to find Johnny and some of his classmates discussing a new arcade that had opened not too far from school. Everybody, it seemed, had gotten permission from their parents to go after school. “Hey Tommy are you coming too?” Johnny asked. “I don't know” Tom said hesitantly thinking of being stuck alone in his Pull-Ups. “Come on, at least ask if you can come.” A light came on in his head. This was a way to demonstrate maturity. He could just make his way without any grown-ups around and then they'd all know he was really big. No more holding hands, and certainly no more strollers. He nodded “OK I'll call her at recess.” The day's baffling lessons hardly seemed to matter anymore. His plan was in place. He Johnny, and some other kids would walk a few blocks to the city bus stop, ride just a few stops and visit the arcade. He could almost hear his mom telling him how wrong she'd been. At recess he went to the office with Johnny and Kyle in tow and asked to call his mother at work. “Hey mom” he began “Me and some friends want to go to a new arcade after school. Can I go?” “That sounds like it would take an awful lot of responsibility Tommy. I don't know if...” “Please” he begged “I won't be alone or anything.” He heard her inhale deeply “OK. But only for half an hour, I'll pick you up there. And you have to stay with you're friends the entire time. And you absolutely have to go to the nurse before you leave, even if you don't feel wet I want her to make sure.” They were restrictive terms but they were more freedom than he'd had in ages. “Thank you mom.” Tom gushed “I promise I'll do everything you said.” The rest of the day seemed to glide right by as Tom imagined what other new privileges he'd soon be winning for himself. After the bell rang his group began to make their way to the bus stop. Tom tried to think of an excuse to run to the nurses office but nothing came to mind. He resolved to keep up with his group. He'd only had a small accident, and it was only going to be a half hour. At the stop Tom peered at the vast array of signs, tables, and maps. “Are you guys sure you know where you're going?” He asked. “Of course” Kyle replied “We don't even have to change buses.” “Yeah, I guess it is pretty simple” Tom said nervously as he resolved to try to follow his friends as closely as possible. The bus rolled up and his friends quickly squeezed themselves into the crowded vehicle. Tom searched for a spot but couldn't even find a place to stand. “Just get on the next one” Johnny suggested “It's just a minute. We'll wait for you.” Tom gulped and stepped back down to the empty bus stop. He watched his friends wave as the bus thundered off. He looked around and briefly contemplated walking back to school to call his mom again but he wasn't even sure of the way back. As his panic rose another bus lumbered to a stop. Still feeling lost and confused he climbed on and a took a seat. The bus shuddered away from the stop and immediately took an unexpected turn. After a trip of what seemed like miles Tom got off at the next stop and scrambled to find the bus back. The signs offered nothing but a tangle of arrows, dots, and numbers so he just got on the next bus that seemed to be going the other way. But soon he was riding through completely unfamiliar streets. His half-hour of freedom came and went and he was still desperately lost, his bladder bulged again. He no longer cared at all about the arcade he just wanted to be at home with his mom. He decided to abandon his attempts at navigation while he searched for a restroom. He found one near the entrance of a park and darted in. He fumbled with his button briefly but soon the familiar sensation of wetness came gushing. His already wet Pull-Up could hold no more and soaked the front of his short pants. He stepped back outside, tears already in his eyes. As the sun began to sink below the horizon he sat down on a lonely bench, put his head in his hands, and cried. He heard a car come to a screeching halt and looked up. “Tommy! I've been looking everywhere for you!” He heard his mother exclaim as she ran from her car. “Mommy!” The word simply burst out of him. They embraced each other tightly. “My baby, I was so worried. Nurse Carlson called to say you hadn't come by. So I went to the arcade and couldn't find you. I'm just happy you're OK.” “I'm sorry mommy” the word came out again through heaving sobs “Please don't be mad.” “I'm not mad baby, I shouldn't have let you have so much responsibility. You should have gone to see Nurse Carlson before you left but” she looked at the wet spot running down his school uniform “That really doesn't matter now.” She sat down on the bench and patted the spot next to her “There's a few things I want to explain to you.” Tom sat warily down next to her as she put an arm around him. “Tommy, I know you've been trying very hard but I don't think you're ready for your school yet.” anticipating a protest she put a finger to is mouth “Now just listen. Mrs. Taylor says you're still having trouble with your lessons and she thinks your friends are helping you with your quizzes.” Tom looked down. She'd seen right through it all along. “From now on” She continued “You can just stay at Kiddie Town until I come pick you up. They have lots of toys like your bear and the teachers there can you learn some of the same things.” “You mean you're sending me to preschool?” Tom gasped. “Tommy, be honest. Do you really think you can keep up with everything your third grade friends are doing?” Tom thought about the days events and about how he always seemed to be just tagging along. “I guess not” he admitted. “And there's one more thing” she said broaching a long unspoken subject “You haven't been having a lot of luck making it to the potty and I've noticed that you're getting up to go later and later.” “But I can keep trying” He stammered She shook her head. “Honey. Training pants are for children who just have accidents sometimes. They're really hard to change and their expensive. Now before I went to look for you at the arcade I went out to the store and when we get home I'm going to put you in a diaper.” “A diaper?”He looked back down at his pants and his protest softened “Do you really think I need them?” She hugged him “I'm afraid so honey. Are you going to be a good boy and come with me so we can get you out of those wet things?” Tom looked down at his wet pants and thought of the trouble his disobedience had caused him. He sniffed and nodded “OK mommy, I'll be good.” She smiled at him warmly and gave him a big hug. “Let's go home.” After a short drive home Karen walked through the front door with a paper bag full of diapering supplies in her hand and her son following closely behind. “Come on” she said as she led him upstairs. She sat the bag down on his bed and went straight to his dresser to retrieve some dry clothes. “Now just sit down and I'll take care of everything.” Tom sat on his bed and felt his sodden Pull-Up squish wetly beneath him. He just wanted out of it. His mother sat the clothes down next to him and got a pale green package of diapers from the bag. She opened it and light babyish aroma wafted though the air. She pulled out a single diaper and sat in on top of his dry things. Tom studied the baby animals designs playing across its front, he never thought his Pull-Ups would seem so grown up. A bottle of baby powder was placed next to it. She undid his suspenders, lifted his shirt over his head, and instructed him lie back. She slid off his shorts and tossed everything in the hamper. Finally she removed his Pull-Up and disposed of it with a thud in the bin. She took a few wipes and made very sure he was all clean before cracking open the bottle of baby powder. Tom just watched, he was amazed at how much quicker and efficient the process seemed now that his mom was handling it all. She spread a thin layer of baby powder all over him and at last picked up and unfolded the diaper. “Just lift up a bit baby.” She slid it under his bottom, made a few quick adjustments, and taped it snugly into place. She started grabbing his new clothes. “Now I don't expect you to try to get to the potty anymore, but if you know you're wet you should let me know right away.” He nodded. At least in resigning himself to this he'd be relieved of a cumbersome and frustrating responsibility. They both went down stairs and had dinner. Afterward they sat together on the couch and watched TV. He was home, he was safe, and he things he could no longer look after himself were being tended to. It was hard to understand why he'd fallen into this role so easily. He could only wonder what lay ahead. As he pondered these thoughts the weariness of the day began to creep in and he fell asleep on the couch beside his loving mother. Chapter 12 In the morning Tom was changed out of his soaked night-time diaper and helped him into his third grade uniform again. He'd be getting a new preschool one today his mother promised. His mother got him to Kiddie Town early and began the process of officially enrolling him in preschool, specifically the class they referred to as The Little Ducklings. The Little Bunnies class was reserved for children who'd been successfully potty trained. “You're both very lucky today” explained the secretary “We just had a new spot open up in Ducklings.” While Tom waited for the adults to wrap up their business Johnny spotted him. “Hi Tommy” he chirped “Sorry about you getting lost like that. We just thought you'd be able to use the bus since you're kind of a big kid an all.” “That's OK.” Tommy said “It was really my fault I guess. I should have just gone home.” “Do you still wanna play with us? We've got some really fun ideas for recess today.” Johnny offered. “I can't.” Tom looked down and heaved a sigh as he made an admission “I have to stay here instead of going to school with you guys.” A look of realization crossed Johnny's face “Oh, so you're going to be in preschool now.” He paused “You might be a little less confused than you are in our class. They teach really simple stuff like algebra. And the teachers are really nice. And you won't have to keep going to the school nurse to get changed.” Tom looked back up in shock “You know about that?” Johnny shrugged “Sure, why else would you keep going to the nurse's office like that. Especially since you always did it after you asked to go to the bathroom.” Tom stammered. “It's OK” Johnny replied casually “Maybe we can play after school. That's when they let you preschoolers out to play with us big kids.” “Uh sure. I guess.” Tom said still stunned. “OK then, see you later” Johnny said as he bounced off to the big kid's room. Tom turned back around just as the adults finished with their business. “This is Mrs. Hansley” his mother said motioning towards a young blonde woman “She'll show you around and help you get your new clothes on.” “Hi” Tom offered as he tried to assess the new situation. Mrs. Hansley knelt down “Hi Tommy, we have lots of fun things for you to do here. Just say bye to your mommy and I'll show you your new classroom.” He exchanged a good-bye hug with his mother “Be a good boy” she patted his bottom “And don't worry about getting to the potty. Just let the ladies know when you need a change and we'll see about getting you back into big boy pants later. OK?” Inside Tom winced, he wondered if it was too late to protest this change in status. He'd felt so scared and vulnerable on that park bench that he would have agreed to nearly anything. He wanted to ask her to reconsider, but before the words came he was watching her walk out the door. “Don't worry hon” Mrs. Hansley as she took his hand and led him through door that separated the preschool section from the the regular daycare “She'll be back to pick you up at the end of the day.” Two doors where on opposite sides of the hallway. On the right was one decorated with a cartoon rabbit, and the left was a happy cartoon duckling. One small boy was being led from the duckling room to the other. “Good job getting potty trained Andy” Mrs. Hansley addressed him as they passed. Andy smiled back and followed his new teacher through the open door. On the other side of the Little Bunnies room Tom could see into a small bathroom. The door shut behind Andy and he turned to look into his new classroom, several changing tables lined the wall. Tom's preschool teacher retrieved a pair of shortalls and a striped shirt from a nearby counter. On the bib of the shortalls was a picture of the same duckling that was on the classroom door, a comically large pin held its diaper in place as it smiled eagerly. “Now let's get you ready for school and I'll show you all the fun things we have here and the other teachers.” She began untying his shoes and Tom took a moment to look around. He was surprised by how calm everything seemed to be. All the children were happily absorbed in toys or painting or being tended to by one of the other teachers. Something about it seemed welcoming. Once he was down to his diaper Mrs. Hansley casually slipped a finger just under the leg gather before moving to getting him into his shortalls. Tom looked around again, one group of children was watching a cartoon that seemed familiar. Once he was securely in his new preschool outfit Mrs. Hansley quickly took out a small pen-sized device and twisted it into the buttons on his shoulder straps and two other snaps on the front of his pants. “What was that?” He inquired. “Just a tool for grown-ups, don't worry about it.” She answered patting his head. She showed him around the various parts of the classroom. There was an area with a toy box, one with a TV, some tables setup for painting, and a playground outback where the preschoolers could play as long one of the teachers was supervising. “You can do whatever you want for now” she explained “But everybody has to be quiet for storytime, and then lay down for a nap.” Two other teachers Ms. Kelly and Mrs. Peterson moved about the room observing things and occasionally shuffling one of their charges off to the changing tables. With a pat on the bottom Tom was dismissed to find something to do until storytime. He looked back to the TV, something about the cartoon was familiar. He walked over to the group of children gathered around and watched for a moment. Then it dawned on him, these were the Cartonimals everybody had kept bringing up. They were currently involved in comical explanation of simplifying an algebraic expression. Tom recalled the subject from his old school. But this was different, somehow he was interested. Without giving it a second thought he sat down cross legged on brightly colored carpet Soon he was laughing along with his preschool classmates and swaying to the the simple songs. He never noticed the dire urgency of his bladder until it was already giving way. In a moment he realized he was sitting in a wet diaper in the middle of a preschool watching a kid's show, but he couldn't pull himself away. Mrs. Peterson, an experienced preschool teacher, somehow suspected. As she walked by she quickly reached beneath Tom's shortalls. “Jessica” She said to Ms. Kelly “We have a wet little guy here. Would you mind?” “Of course not” she replied. Tom looked between them in shock. Ms. Kelly knelt down beside him a put a hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry, I'll just put you in a dry diaper and you can go right back to watching your cartoon.” She took his hand and led him to a changing table. “Do we really have to do this out here?” Tom said. “Where else would I change your diaper silly?” She replied as as she set a disposable mat onto the table. “It's just that the school nurse before changed... I mean helped me out of my pull-ups in her office.” Ms Kelly smiled “Don't worry sweety, we have everything we need to change your diapers here too” She said motioning to a neatly stacked box of powder, wipes, and other supplies “Just let us grown-ups worry about stuff like that” “No I mean” Tom stammered as she hoisted him up onto the table. He could see his protests would go nowhere. Nobody would see him as and different than an everyday preschooler. She gently pushed him back onto the padded surface. Then she unfastened his shortalls and quickly went to work. “So you really must like the Cartoonimals, you've been watching them all day.” “Yeah they're kind of interesting I guess” Tom replied. “Do you want to try something else after we're done. Maybe try some of the toys?” Tom shrugged “Sure.” With a fresh layer of baby powder applied and a new diaper in place his pants were snapped back up and he was taken to the opposite corner of the room were toys of every description filled shelves and boxes. Ms. Kelly gave him a pat on the bottom and left him to play among the other preschoolers. Tom settled down next to a small toy train set. He looked around for the engine and found a pile gears, wheels, and parts. He scooped them up in his hand, he could almost see how they were supposed to go together. He began playing with the pieces, trying different arrangements. Finally he worked out a configuration that seemed to work. He flipped a switch and all four wheels began to turn. A smile grew across his face. He sat his new train down on the track and he watched with open delight as it ran around the track. Soon another boy sat down next to him and picked the train up. “This makes it faster” he said before taking out a few gears and rearranging them. He put the train back and it took off faster than before. Tom realized that there must be many more combinations. He couldn't wait to try more. But before he could pick the train up again Mrs. Peterson was calling everybody for story time. Tom reluctantly left his train behind and sat down on the edge of the group gathered around Mrs. Peterson's chair. Today's story, she announced, was Spaceman Simon and the Three Laws of Motion. The title reminded him of something and as he listened to Mrs. Peterson's slow sing-song reading he remembered hearing about this once, something about the scientist who'd gotten hit by an apple. It never interested him, and he never understood it. But in the story of Spaceman Simon it was something he could understand. He leaned in closer to see the pictures and Mrs. Peterson turned the book around to show everyone. Mrs. Hansley began passing out sippy cups to all the children. Tom almost balked but decided to try it, it was warm and sweet. He drank some more while he sat and listened. He finished his cup just as the story came to an end. The teachers began moving everybody into the nap room. Tom paused in the doorway and looked at the rows of cribs crisscrossing the room. “Can't I sleep on a mat or something” Tom asked Mrs. Hansley as she walked by. “Oh these are lot more comfy than some old mat” she said before getting an idea. She grabbed a stuffed rabbit from a nearby shelf “Here you can have this stuffed bunny if you're scared. And one of us teachers will always be in the room.” She smiled and handed him his stuffed rabbit before giving his diaper a quick check and hoisting him into a nearby crib. “But I'm not scared, I just...” “That's good” she said giving his head a quick pat “Just lie down and try to sleep.” Tom sank down to the mattress, rabbit still in hand. Mrs. Hansley pulled his blanket over him. “Good boy” she said softly “after all that playing and starting a new school you need some rest.” She slid the crib's railing into place and moved on to other children. In a few moments the lights were dimmed and lullaby began to play over unseen speakers. Tom laid there and realized he was tired, very tired. The crib's mattress seemed perfect. His blanket was soft and warm. And the music, the lulaby was simple but so deeply soothing. He wondered why he'd wanted to take a nap anywhere else. He closed his eyes and fell alseep. He awoke again to Mrs. Hansley standing over his crib. “Did you have a good nap?” She said not even waiting for an answer before she checked his diaper. “Let's get you over to the changing tables.” She helped him out of his crib and took him back to the main room where the other two teachers were busy changing the last of their student's naptime diapers. Tom could only wait before Mrs. Peterson finally came to tend to him. Once he was in a dry diaper and back on his feet he scanned the room for something to do. His new favorite toy was already being played with. He sat down next to it anyway, just to observe. To his surprise his new new classmates, Mike and Sammy, welcomed him and he quickly joined them in building and playing with new trains. His new friends introduced him to other toys. There were toy robots, cars, and puzzles. Tom could hardly tear himself away from any of them. He barely noticed the hours slip by until he heard his mother's voice from across the room. He looked up from his toy car and she waved him over to where she was talking with Mrs. Hansley. Still enthralled with all the new toys he'd found he rushed over to her “Hi mom, I was just playing with this cool car thing.” he quickly began enthusing “You can build the engine for it and everything. It's really cool.” She looked at him with bemused surprise “Well I'm glad you had such a good time. Mrs. Hansley was just telling me what a great addition you are to the class.” Tom looked down in embarrassment at his display of enthusiasm and tried to shift into a more mature bearing. “Yeah I guess it was alright.” But a peek back at his mother and teacher sharing a knowing look told him it was already too late. Karen turned back to Mrs. Hansley “How did he do about letting you know when he needs a change?” The experienced preschool teacher dismissed the whole idea with a wave of her hand “We can work on that when starts getting ready to train. Until then we're happy to just let him play.” “Oh, well I guess I won't worry then either.” Karen said as she gave her son's head a gentle stroke. “You said you had something for us to take home.” “Yes” she retrieved a brightly colored book from her desk “This is a coloring book we give all our students. We don't really have lessons here but we do try to instill some of the basics. Tommy can go through this at his own pace, it has some puzzles and games that teach basic algebra, geometry, that sort of thing.” “Thank you, seeing how he liked his day here I'm sure he'll have fun with this too.” She looked back at Tom “Say 'thank you' to your teacher sweety.” Tom accepted the book and took a moment to examine the picture of young children among giant algebraic equations. “Thank you, Mrs. Hansley” with more than a trace of genuineness. With that his mother took his hand bid his teacher good-bye and led him out the door. He looked back as the door shut and couldn't believe he wanted to go back. Chapter 13 Tom sat cross-legged on the living room floor with his new coloring book sprawled out in front of him and a fresh red crayon in his hand. He puzzled over one of the first pages. “Help Farmer Jim put his Periodic Sheep in order of atomic weight” the text at the top cheerfully suggested. The TV sat silent, he'd shut it off after seeing another ad for Ghost Invaders, his coloring book suddenly seemed more inviting. In the kitchen his mother was having a tense phone conversation. He began absentmindedly coloring the barn while he contemplated what he was to do with this puzzle. Across the hall his mother's conversation came to a halt. She walked into the living room and sat down with a sigh. She looked over at her son and Tom froze assuming he was in some sort of trouble. But her wearied face turned to a smile. “Already starting your coloring book huh?” “Yeah, I was just bored is all. I'm trying to figure this one out.” “Well come over here, maybe I can help.” Tom gathered up his coloring book and took a seat on the couch. His mother smiled again. “Not there silly” she said as she lifted him onto her lap. She chuckled at his evident surprise. “It'll be easier to help you here” she said brushing his hair lightly before putting her arms around him and taking the book in her hands. Tom settled into his new seat, relieved he wasn't the cause of his mother's distress and pleased he seemed able to relieve it somehow. She examined the troublesome page for a moment. “I bet there's a periodic table somewhere in here.” “Isn't that the chemical thing?” Tom asked “I haven't learned that yet.” “Well that's what this is for” she said thumbing quickly through the book “to help you learn new things.” She came found what she looking for and pointed out one of the numbers. “This chart shows all the elements and their atomic weights” she explained patiently “Each one of the sheep has letters on it that tell you what element it is. Like this H means that one's hydrogen. You just have to look them all up and see which one has the largest atomic weight and put a one next to it, and then do the others in order.” Tom nodded partly understanding “I get it. But what does all that mean” “I'll explain while you work on the sheep” she said and reached over to retrieve a box of crayons from the coffee table. They worked their way through a few more pages. Tom hung on his mother's words and when she praised him exuberantly for every right answer he felt like he'd won a Nobel prize. “Thanks mom, that really helped a lot” Tom said as he shut the book and began to get up. “Thank you for making me feel better” she said pulling him back into a hug. “What was that phone call about?” “Nothing you need to worry about.” She noticed a sogginess as his weight shifted “We should go out to eat tonight. But first I think you need a change.” She let him down and he began to leave. “Just stay right here” she said as she retrieved a diaper-pin patterned mat from nearby. “I don't see any reason to go upstairs every time you need a change.” She laid it out and began gathering all the necessary diapering supplies into a neat row while Tom resignedly laid himself down in front of her. He wondered how much his own behavior was contributing to this casual attitude about his diapers. Did he really seem like that much of a baby? She worked swiftly and his shortalls were being fastened over a fresh dry diaper before he could complete these thoughts. Together they walked out to the car and started their way to a nearby restaurant. Venturing out into the world beyond home and the colorful walls of Kiddie Town made him more acutely aware of his uniform. The night-time air was cool on his legs, he grateful his diaper was warm and dry. He knew by now that to everybody else his age was defined by the clothes he wore so he was prepared for the hostess's broad smile and careful tone as she welcomed he and his mother. Her question surprised him though “Will he need a highchair tonight?” she asked. “No” Tom answered emphatically for himself. Still she looked to his mother for confirmation. “No thank you.” She said lightly. They were shown to their table and Tom was left with a children's menu a complimentary sippy cup of juice. Karen smiled at the special treatment her adorably shortall-clad son was getting. “I hope things like that don't bother you too much.” “It's OK. I'm sort of getting used to it.” “That's good to hear. I think I'm getting used to it too. Getting to hold you in my lap again really helped after a long day.” Tom's cheeks burned slightly “I had fun too I guess” “Good, I really hope you enjoy this time as much as I do.” Tom looked at her with a bit of surprise “You mean you don't mind having to... do all that extra stuff.” She shook her head emphatically “My biggest job is take care of you when you're too little to do it yourself and I enjoy doing it.” “But I'm not really...” “Honey, some day you'll be ready to go back to school, but for now I really hope you can accept this and enjoy being my little guy.” Tom blushed redder but he felt good knowing his mother saw things that way. Karen noticed a small smile growing on her son's face “After all you had fun at preschool today didn't you?” Tom squirmed a bit “Yeah, it was fun I suppose.” “Well keep having fun and maybe it will all get easier.” They continued chatting over dinner. As Karen left her money on the table on got up to leave she quickly checked Tom's diaper. “You're fine for the ride home” she said and then she thought for a moment “You know I saw a toy store just across the street. If it's still open we could go in and get you something. Maybe that car you were playing with today.” Tom was deeply tempted but he couldn't quite go that far “No thanks mom.” But his mother could see the way his eyes had lit up “OK, but let me know if you want a new toy and we can go and pick something up.” The next morning Tom was laying on a rug at preschool absorbed in a Speak-n-Say. He pulled the cord “Apoapsis is the highest point in an orbit” a happy voice chirped from within. He looked through rain washing over the classroom's windows to elementary school school kids trudging to their bus. Inside the teachers were distributing a morning snack along with sippy cups of milk. Tom took his and surveyed the classroom while he enjoyed his treat. He noticed that Cartoonimals had already started playing so he wandered over to take a seat. Olly Otter was elaborating on square numbers to Gavin Giraffe, who though he was the tallest and implied to be the oldest of the group was most often the recipient of these lessons. Tom settled in and finished his snack. As the show drew to a close he found himself in the mood to try something new. He walked over to the art section and took a seat. Where he expected to find simple ordinary finger paints or maybe some crayons or brushes there was instead a thumb sized pen with several buttons and dials on its surface. He picked it up and examined it. Around him the other children where using them with unconscious ease. Tom shrugged and decided to figure it out on his own. He pressed the largest button, nothing seemed to happen. He turned a dial, still nothing. Finally he tried the next largest button, the pen vibrated for a moment before firing a giant stream of green ink across the front of his shortalls. Ms. Kelly was soon by his side. She took the pen from his hand and surveyed the damage. “Oh sweety, you should have asked one of us for an apron before you started. We're going to have to clean you up.” Tom could only look at himself in horror. We wondered if there was something even lower down the chain than preschool in store for him. Ms. Kelly saw his reaction and patted his head “Don't worry. You're not in trouble it's just a little mistake.” She led him over to the changing tables and undid his shoulder straps and lowered his shortalls to the floor. She then removed shirt leaving him standing in nothing but a diaper. “Oh dear” she said “It looks like it soaked through.” Tom looked down at himself. If his cartoon-animal print diaper didn't make him look like a toddler then the messy smear of paint across his chest certainly completed a certain picture. Ms. Kelly sighed and turned to consult with Mrs Peterson for a moment. “I think I'll have to give this guy a bath. Can you cover for me for a few minutes.” Mrs. Peterson nodded and Ms Kelly thanked her while she gathered Tom's clothes and took his hand. She led him to the other side of the classroom and through a door to a small tiled room. Here a bathroom for the teachers was apportioned with a tub, apparently for situations such as these. For a moment Tom was relieved to be in relative privacy but as Ms. Kelly began to draw a bath he realized what she had in mind. “I can do this myself” he protested “I always do it at home.” “I'm sure you can do lots of big boy things” Ms. Kelly said patiently as she reached for his diaper “But this is hard to get off, just let me do it and you can go back to playing.” Tom dodged her hand with a step back “Just let me try.” Ms. Kelly adopted a sterner tone “Does somebody need corner time? I'm sure your mommy wouldn't be happy to hear about how cranky you're being.” Tom froze. He thought about how happy his mother had seemed with him the previous night. Somehow the threat of punishment didn't seem as bad as disappointing her. “OK” he said reluctantly. He was quickly relinquished of his diaper and helped into the warm soapy water. He was immediately struck by strong pleasant aroma of the bath soap. Something about it was so soothing, so disarming. She began to scrub his thoroughly. Though he could barely discern it there really did seem to be a technique involved in removing this paint, he could only sit while her expert hands did the work. “Boy you really splashed yourself. Hasn't your mommy taught you to use an ArtPen?” Tom shook his head “No, I never even heard of it before.” “I could show you how after you're all cleaned up, does that sound good?” Tom nodded “Yeah, that sounds OK” As he got out of the tub she wrapped him in a giant fluffy towel and began to dry him off. “There we go” she said as she inspected her work closely “all cleaned up.” She hoisted him onto the a nearby changing table and got her newly clean charge into a fresh diaper. From somewhere beneath the table she produced a simple baby blue onesie “You can wear this while we wait for your clothes to get out of the washer.” She said as she pulled it over his head and snapped him into it. “Oh, thanks” Tom said. At least he wouldn't be wandering around in nothing but a diaper. They emerged back into the classroom just as everybody else was assembling for story time. Tom was surprised to find himself glad he hadn't missed it. The day's selection was Bubsy Beaver Meets the Colorful Chloroplasts. Tom couldn't help but be aware of being much more thinly dressed then everybody else. His onesie was snapped snuggly between his legs and made him more aware than ever of his diaper. But as Mrs. Hansley began reading he hung on every word. After story time the children where again ushered into the nap room. While Tom was considering renewing his protests of the day before Ms. Kelly swept him into a crib and raised the side rail. “Don't worry your clothes will be ready when nap-time is over” she tried to reassure him. Mrs. Hansley came by with familiar toy in her hand “Tommy here just gets a little anxious without his bunny. Don't you sweetheart?” she handed him the same stuffed bunny he'd slept with before. Tom again resigned himself to settle into his crib as the lights dimmed and a soothing lullaby played over unseen speakers. As he drifted into sleep he noticed a faint glowing from the corners of his crib. He barely had time to wonder what it might be before he was asleep. Tom sat in his living room surrounded by a bevy of toys. He had his teddy bear and his stuffed bunny both close at hand as he fiddled with his toy car. His mother came in and stroked his hair while she sat down next to him. She joined in with him, helping him assemble a new engine for his car. It all seemed so normal and easy, he was happy to have his mother by his side. Then he was standing beside a crib in his own room while she helped him into his PJs. She kissed him on the forehead and offered him his stuffed animals before lowering the rail. We awoke to Ms. Kelly standing over his crib with his freshly washed uniform in hand. “Come on sleepy head” she said “I'll get you back into your clothes and you can go play.” Back at the changing table Tom was changed out of his soaked diaper and dressed in his uniform once again, cleaner and well powdered for the journey. “Do you still want to learn how to use an ArtPen” Ms. Kelly offered. Tom shrugged “Sure.” Ms. Kelly led Tom over to the art area and got him into an apron emblazoned with the same duckling logo that was on his shortalls. She handed him one of the strange devices and took one for herself before kneeling down beside him. She began to go over each button and dial in slow and patient detail. Soon he was drawing crude lines of his own, only getting a small amount on his apron. Before long a picture was taking shape. The only thing he could really think of at the time and the only thing he could manage to draw with this unfamiliar technology. Two stick figures, representing his mother and himself, stood happily in front of a red house with smoke rising from the chimney. He knew it was childish but he was proud to have learned something new. Ms. Kelly took a moment to praise her student. “Good job, I bet you're mommy will put this right on the refrigerator.” She carefully curled the paper into a tube and put it in a small cubby labeled “Tommy.” Tom busied himself with the toy train for the remainder of the afternoon. Soon he heard his mother calling to him from across the room. She greeted him with a hug and pat on the rear “Mrs. Hansley says you have something you want to show me.” “Yeah, I guess I sort of do” Tom said blushing slightly but excited to share his new talent with his mother. Mrs. Hansley handed him the sheet of paper and he opened it. “Awww that's very sweet” She exclaimed causing Tom to blush brighter. She put a hand on his shoulder “It's very good Tommy, I'm really proud of you for learning new things.” Tom thanked her and they hugged again. “You smell really nice too, that was good of Ms. Kelly to help clean you up” She commented. Tom blushed again and couldn't help but wonder if baths would be a part of his future as well. They both said their farewells to Tom's teachers and left hand in hand. “I'm going to put this up on the refrigerator” She promised. Tom smiled bashfully. Not so long ago the idea would have been unbearably embarrassing. But he knew he'd made his mother happy, and for now that felt better than anything else. Chapter 14 Tom awoke to the sound of his mother preparing breakfast below. He held his teddy against his chest nestled in the curve of his body. He'd gone to sleep with it beside him, but he always seemed to wake up this way. His sleep had been getting deeper since he'd started sleeping with it too, part of the learning benefits he assumed. The door slowly opened and his mother peeked in. “Good morning sleepyhead” she smiled “I was starting to think you were going to sleep all day.” “Good morning mom” he responded “I guess I was just kind of tired.” She walked over to his bed and pulled back the covers “It's Saturday do you want to try getting out today?” She said as she casually pulled his pajama bottoms to his knees. “Sure” Tom answered “What is there to do?” “We'll talk about it about breakfast” She untaped his sodden diaper and dropped it in the pail. “You just keep on waking up wetter and wetter. I may need to get you some thicker diapers before you start leaking.” Tom didn't even have time to respond to that embarrassing suggestion before she pulled his top over his head. “Now do you want to take a shower yourself or do you want some help.” “Mom, I can do it myself.” She looked slightly disappointed “But you we're so nice and clean yesterday. You're sure you don't want a grown-up to do it.” “Believe me. I'm sure” “OK. But if I don't think you're doing a good job I might change my mind. I left some new soap in the shower I want you to use.” she stood up and tussled his hair as she left “Just hurry up. I'll have breakfast ready soon.” Tom sighed and shuffled to the bathroom. He turned the shower knob and began one of the few personal tasks still left to him. He let the water run over him for a few moments before noticing what his mother was talking about. He picked up the plastic bottle and turned it over a few times. Inside were three chambers filled with clear, amber, and blue liquids each with a small button. They fed into another chamber which seemed to rotate, maybe for mixing Tom guessed. He experimented with it for a few moments without a satisfactory result. When he could get something out of the bottle it was either a small glob or a jet of watery liquid. He put it back down in disgust wondering why everything had be so hard. He picked up the tiny sliver of bar soap that was left, it was small but it would have to do. Having heard him finish his shower his mother followed him to his room. “Just lie back and I'll get you ready for the day” she said as she pulled a diaper from the bag on his dresser. Tom did as he was told and watched as his mother collected his clothes. She got him into his diaper and playfully poked his chest “I can tell you didn't use the right soap” “I couldn't figure it out. Is the normal stuff good enough?” She held out his pants “You'll need to start using it to prevent diaper rash.” Tom compliantly stepped into them “But that's what the wipes and powder and stuff is for. Why do I need the soap too?” “Because that's just not enough” She pulled his shirt down over his head and took a moment to adjust it “I'll give you some time to figure it out on your own OK?” Tom sighed “Alright, I'll try” “Good boy. Now let's eat breakfast.” In the kitchen she sat a stack of pancakes on his plate and got a small sippy cup from the refrigerator. “Mom! I can drink from a normal cup.” “This is what you drink at school. You're teacher says you like it, it comes from the store like this.” Tom looked at the cup for a second and thought about the wonderful sweet tasting treat he enjoyed at preschool. But he shook his head. “No thanks, I'll just have some orange juice.” He watched as she set it back, halfway wishing he could just bring himself to ask for it. She gave him a glass of orange juice and sat down at her own plate. “Have you thought of anything you'd like to do today?” “Not really” “Well I have some shopping to do but I heard there's a really nice amusement park here. Would you like to go that?” Tom shrugged “Sure” After they were finished Karen quickly cleared the table. She took a cloth and ran it under the sink briefly. “So store first and then park?” she said as she wiped a bit of syrup from Tom's mouth. Tom tried to recoil from the sudden intrusion but it was over before he could react. “Yeah I guess” Tom answered while he watched her pick up a large blue bag and hoist it to her shoulder. “Mom, is that a...” He stammered. “It's just so I can carry some of the things I need. It's a big purse really.” Tom looked at the powder blue thing in horror “But it's got teddy bears and stuff on it. It's all... babyish.” “It looks just fine. The important thing is that I can change you while we're out. Would you rather have to rush home every time you wet or just never go out?” “No. But do you really need that?” She nodded “I just want to take care of you the best I can. Just trust me. Remember what I said about you being my little guy?” Tom looked down and blushed “Yeah I sort of remember that I guess.” “Well I meant it. And that means I'm going to do the best for you even if you think it's a little embarrassing at first.” She looked him in the eye “So are you going to trust me on this one or do you just want to stay home all day.” Tom looked up at her. Deep down he knew she had his best interests at heart “It's OK” he sighed “Let's go.” They climbed into the car and a short drive later they pulled into a supermarket parking lot. Tom was sure he knew what this was about. And sure enough he was led to the baby aisle and told to wait by the cart. His mother quickly found a fresh package of diapers, larger than the one he had already nearly depleted. Tom watched as she piled extra wipes and powder into the cart as well. Then she turned her attention back to the packages of diapers. She paused at a row of items that promised “Extra night-time protection.” She looked at her son “Stars and moons or animals again.” “Huh?” Tom replied, not fully understanding the question. “Nevermind honey, I think I'll get these” she said tossing a package into the cart. Now Tom could see that this brand seemed to be decorated with the same baby animal motif as his current diaper, but this time they were portrayed sleeping on little cartoon clouds. The clerk gave him a warm knowing smile as she rang up their purchase. “Somebody must be a heavy sleeper.” She said to his mother. “He's almost soaked through every night. I just hope these don't leak.” She replied. Tom looked at the ground. Even without his toddlerish school clothes she still immediately knew they were for him. “Mine was the same way, but these always held up well” The clerk said. “That's good the hear” Karen said as she collected her bagged groceries. “Have a nice weekend.” Back at the car Tom's mother took the diaper bag from her shoulder and took a moment to stock it with new supplies. She quickly checked Tom's diaper “You're OK for now. Ready for the amusement park?” Tom just nodded. He wasn't sure what to make of this public outing but at least it would be something different. They drove across town and walked up to the ticket booth. Karen paused to retrieve the stroller from the trunk. She turned to her son as she unfolded it “This is just in case you get tired or if we run into any crowds. I don't want you getting lost again.” Tom just sighed and followed her to the ticket booth. “One adult and one child” Karen informed the attendant. Two tickets were slid beneath the glass “We have special programs today for kids at the planetarium” the attendant said glancing between the diaper bag slung over Karen's shoulder, the stroller, and the child standing quietly near his mother's side. “I suppose you'll be interested in the Little Astronauts Club. They'll have a puppet show at noon. Just after the big kids have their lab.” “We just might look into that” Karen said as she ushered her son towards the gate. Once inside Tom's eyes followed the twists of the roller-coaster before him to its intimidating summit. The ride had been visible from some distance, but here in its shadow it all seemed like far too much. “I'm sorry Tommy. Looks like we'll have to find some other rides.” He looked over to his side, a large sign with a red line about two inches above his head announced “You must be at least this tall to rise our roller coasters.” “Oh, that's too bad” Tom said trying to sound disappointed as he looked back at the frightening mass of wood and steel before him. A group of elementary schoolers passed by on their way to the coaster, somehow taller and somehow unafraid. Not regretting the former for once he followed his mother as she pushed the stroller towards the other side of the park. They passed under a large archway bearing the words “Tyke's Land” and into a broad courtyard surrounded by festively colored rides. Tom surveyed them cautiously, he could guess which one his mother would suggest. “Would you like to go on Floppy Bunny's Forrest Romp” she offered, pointing towards tree decorated building into with various animal shaped cars disappeared at regular intervals. “Sure” Tom said. They checked the stroller at a small booth and climbed aboard a smiling frog. The ride's machanism clicked below them and they were pulled into a long corridor dressed up fairly convincingly like a forest. The voice of Floppy Bunny echoed from somewhere above inviting them to chase him to his den. “Want to try and steer?” His mother asked Tom took a non-committal hold of a steering wheel in front of him as the ride entered a much larger room. Before them stood an image of Floppy Bunny. Tom peered at it quizzically unable to figure out if it was a projection, a hologram, or some other strange technology. The room shuddered and began to spin as the rabbit began diving behind trees. Tom began to realize that the room was something like a bumper car ride. He found a pedal and begin to move the car forward. The rabbit leaped wildly about and Tom began steering more and more eagerly in its direction. He bounced off a tree and laughed never noticing his mother's bemused grin as she watched him play. Finally near the center of the room he caught up with his quarry. The mysterious animation disappeared and the lights came up. “Congratulations friends!” a voice echoed “You did a really good job catching me. Let's play again soon.” A mechanism caught the car and began moving it to another passage and up a ramp. Tom beamed proudly at his mother. “That was fun.” “I could see” she said mussing his hair “And you were pretty good at it too.” Tom was too lost in his victory to even bother dodging her hand. The ride came to a halt in the same place they started. As they exited the ride he scanned the other offerings. “Mom, can we go do the maze.” “Sure hon” she responded while the retrieved the stroller “Just wait up a bit.” Tom waited impatiently until she walked up beside him. “Can we go now?” “Not quite yet” his mother answered while casually gave his diaper a quick check “We'll go after I get you changed.” “Oh yeah” Tom said suddenly remembering his diaper. Without a word she took his hand and headed for a small nearby building marked with the blue and white figure of a diapered baby. Inside scenes of small children enjoying the park alongside cheerful cartoon characters adorned he walls. Several toddlers were already being attended to by their mothers. Tom was helped up onto a table where he laid back and joined them. She lowered his pants and reached into her well organized diaper bag. In just a few moments Tom was back in a dry diaper helped back down to his feet. As they stepped back out into the park Tom quickly forgot about that embarrassing interlude and focused again on the maze. He eagerly made his way to the entrance and waited impatiently for his mother to catch up. She arrived and he quickly decided to take the path in front of him. He hurried through a few turns before arriving at an intersection with a sign post indicating the four cardinal directions. A small sign attached was emblazoned with a cartoon penguin trudging merrily through the snow; “Follow Peter penguin to his snowy home” it suggested on bold blue lettering. Tom pondered for a moment. He recalled something from one of the videos at preschool about penguins only living in the South Pole. Excitedly he urged his mother down the southern route. As he continued along this path he encountered more progressively difficult riddles and it each he dashed enthusiastically ahead but took care stay within her sight. He reached the end of the maze and turned around to beam back at his mother as she pushed the up the last stretch. “Good job” she said as she approached. Tom looked down slightly once again realizing his childish enthusiasm. But he was genuinely proud of having figured out the last few bits without making any mistakes. “Thanks” he said with a hint of bashfulness “It kind of helped that we learned some of that in school.” She smiled and mussed his hair “I'm glad you're learning so much. She checked her watch “We should start getting home. Are you ready?” Tom nodded and began to follow her towards the exit. Karen paused for a moment and looked back at her son. With no fun left to have Tom was beginning to feel tired from all his running around. “Do you want to sit in your stroller honey?” she offered sweetly. Tom shook his head “No thank you.” “You mean I had to follow you around with this thing for nothing?” she teased. Tom looked at his mother and smiled. He could see she just wanted to let him rest, and he did feel tired. He sat down in the stroller and settled himself in. In a moment he was being pushed along the park's twisting walkways. Sometime before they reach the parking lot he dozed off. He came to as his mother was opening the passenger side door. She helped out of his stroller and fastened his seat belt for him as he watched her groggily. She paused for a moment examining his seat belt and seeming to contemplate something. “Just go ahead and sleep sleep sweety” she said kissing his forehead. “I guess I'm just getting used to naps” Tom responded settling deep his seat and closing his eyes. He heard his mother quickly putting his stroller and diaper bag into the trunk. With fresh memories of the day he'd spent with her drifting pleasantly through his head he drifted back to sleep. Chapter 15 It was late after-noon on Sunday. Tom sprawled out lazily on the floor with his coloring book in front of him and his teddy bear by his side. The ignored television had drifted from a cheerful cartoon that had held his attention to some baffling show about elementary school kids solving neighborhood mysteries with quantum physics. He wished he'd accepted his mother's offer of a visit to the toy store. There wasn't much for a preschooler to do. He looked up at her sitting on the couch engrossed in a magazine. “Mom, can I get something from the toy store?” he asked. She looked back at him sympathetically “Starting to get a little bored without any toys honey?” “Yeah, I guess we should have gone before. I was just sort of embarrassed.” “I understand” she said setting down her magazine and putting out her arms “You want to come over here and just talk?” Tom waked over to her and allowed himself to be taken up in her lap. “Can't we go now?” She shook her head “Sorry sweety, I don't think we have time. But if you're good for the sitter I'll let you pick out two things OK?” She said cheerfully. Tom groaned “Do I really need a babysitter?” “We already talked about why you need one” she said patting his bottom. “But she's a teenager. She's only like three grades higher than I'm supposed to be” Tom pleaded. “That doesn't matter” she said in a pleasant but firm tone “Besides everybody says the she's best in the neighborhood. And she always brings toys, so maybe you two will have something to do.” “But...” She grabbed him gently by the chin and looked him in the eye “Just promise me you'll be good so I don't have to worry.” Tom sighed “OK.” She smiled and gave him a big kiss on the cheek “That's my good boy.” “I guess it might not be too bad” Tom mused for a moment before being distracted by the opening notes of the Cartoonimals theme. He quickly turned his attention to the television. “Is this the show Mrs. Hansley says you like so much?” Tom nodded excitedly “Yeah, it's really good.” Karen put her arms around her son and let him settle further into her lap. “Would you like to watch it with me?” Tom couldn't help the smile creeping across his face. “Sure.” He settled his head on her shoulder. “That's Gavin Giraffe” he said pointing out the character “He's my favorite.” “I thought he might be” She said smiling. The doorbell rang. “That must be Kirsten.” She sat Tom down on his feet and went to the door. Tom hesitated for a moment. How could he possibly greet this girl who should at least be something close to a peer. He stepped cautiously into the entryway and peered around his mother to girl with energetic eyes who stood in their doorway. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. You're a real life saver” His mother said. “No problem Mrs. Welton” Kirsten said with buoyant confidence. She caught sight of the boy peeking warily from around his mother “And this must be Tommy.” Karen stepped aside and urged Tom over “Tommy this is Kirsten your new babysitter.” “Hi” Tom offered tentatively. Kirsten knelt far enough to be face to face “Hi Tommy. I'm sure we're going to get along great.” “He's already promised to be a good boy” Karen said getting her purse “Didn't you?” Tom nodded slowly “Yeah.” Karen turned to Kirsten “Diapers and things are in the basket next to the couch” she said pointing in the direction of the living room “And there's some more in his room. And don't forget to get him in his nighttime diapers when you put him to bed, he tends to get really wet at night. And my phone number...” Kirsten whipped her phone out of her purse “Already got it. Along with your work, and the neighbors across the street.” Karen smiled and shook her head “It's good to have someone so responsible to rely on. Dinner is in the fridge, I guess I won't need to tell you how to get it ready.” “I have it all taken care of Mrs. Welton. No need to worry about a thing.” “Thank you Kirsten” She gave Tom a hug and a kiss on his forehead “Bye-bye sweety. I'll get home after your bedtime so I'll see you in the morning.” “Bye mom” Tom said politely still blushing from her instructions. He watched her as she waved and stepped out the door, closing it behind her. Kirsten clapped her hands together “So should we get started playing a game or getting out some toys. I have some right here” She said indicating the colorful canvass bag slung over her shoulder” “I think I just want to watch TV right now” Tom said turning toward the living room. “Alright” she said following him “But you can't be shy all night.” She sat herself on the couch as her new charge stretched out in front of the TV “Oh, Cartoonimals! Cool!” She enthused. “Go ahead and watch your show, I'm just going to call a friend. Maybe you'll want to play when it's over?” “Sure” Tom said flatly. “Hey Amanda this is Kirsten” She said to the person at other end of the line “Yeah, I'm just babysitting tonight.” Tom tried to ignore the intrusion. “No” Kirsten said correcting her friend on something “New client tonight,. A little boy so I'm on diaper duty tonight.” Tom tried harder to shut the the conversation out. “I finished all my homework last night, so no problem there.” She continued “There's supposed a test in Mr. Peterson's class tomorrow but it's just on Calabi-Yau manifolds so I'm not too worried.” The conversation drifted into gossip about people and events that may as well have taken place on the dark side of a distant planet as far as Tom was concerned. His world was one of cartoons and storytimes and all these things that he'd once expected to be part of now seemed distant and remote. Soon after Tom's show came to an end Kirsten hung up the call slapped her hand to her knees “Are you ready to play something yet?” “Sure” Tom relented. He could see this was going to be a boring evening otherwise. Kirsten smiled “Good, I could see you were really interested in your show. You must really like the Cartoonimals.” “Yeah I guess” Tom said “Sometimes I think...” He paused wondering if the thought he'd been turning over in his mind was too crazy to say aloud. “Think what?” Kirsten asked. “Sometimes I think it might be hypnotizing me or something.” Tom said in hopes of some outside confirmation “Like maybe that's why I need diapers and stuff.” Kirsten tried to stifle a laugh as she sat down on the floor next to him “You're just a little boy Tommy. I watch the Cartoonimals all the time when I'm babysitting and I'm not hypnotized.” Tom looked at the teenager sitting beside him so poised, collected, and mature. He could only conclude that she was right. Maybe there really was a difference between them. She reached over and gave his hair a playful tussle “Don't worry kiddo, I'm sure your mommy will get you all nice and potty trained once you're ready.” With that Tom became aware of a cold dampness between his legs. He looked down to avoid her eyes. But she tell something was wrong. “Do you need a change now?” she asked. “Maybe” Tom reluctantly admitted. Without another word she pulled back the waistband of his pants and quickly checked his diaper. “Yep, you're soaked.” She quickly found the basket of diapering supplies and began laying out the changing mat. She patted the mat with one hand looking directly at him “Just lie down and I'll get you all ready, then you can pick out what game you want to play.” Tom balked. Being changed by his mother was one thing, his teachers were something else. But being so dependent on this high school student made a certain point. Kirsten put her hands to her hips “Remember how you promised your mommy you'd be good tonight?” But it was a point that couldn't be denied. He looked at her eyes filled with patient authority and laid down in front of her. “That's better” she cooed as she took a fresh diaper from the basket. Effortlessly she undid his button and slid his pants to his knees. She was a bit more generous with the baby powder than his other caretakers and the smell lingered strongly even as she taped his new diaper into place. “There we go” she said fastening his pants “That wasn't so bad was it?” Tom just shook his head. It was always a relief to be out of a cold sodden diaper. It was a comfort he had to rely on others for. And he knew this was someone he could trust as much as any young child would. “I thought so” she said while she reached for a large bag “Now do you want to pick out a game or do you want to play my favorite?” “You can choose I guess” Tom shrugged. She began setting out a board with a path running through a cartoonish forest. Along the way where various sites like a blue trimmed house labeled “Grandma's Cottage” with smoke curling from a chimney or a beaver's dam bearing the name “Bucky's Den.” “First you spin the spinner” she explained “Then you roll the dice and take a card. Each card has an equation written on it and you try to plug the numbers you got from the spinner and the dice into it so you can move the greatest number of spaces.” Tom scratched his head as he turned over one of the cards and looked over it's elaborate series of numbers, letters, and parentheses. “This looks kind of hard.” Kirsten looked in her bag “The other preschool games I have are Calliope's Chemistry Lab and Geometry Land.” “This will be OK I guess” Tom said casting the card back into the pile. Kirsten handed him a teddy bear shaped calculator with big bright buttons. “You can use this and I might you give you some hints if you really get stuck.” Tom took the first turn and furrowed his brow as he looked between the numbers he'd gotten and the strange equation written on the card. He'd knew he'd seen this stuff, but he'd not yet mastered it. He pecked at the calculator for a while and moved his piece a few spaces before turning the dice over to Kirsten. She breezily worked out the problem and moved well ahead of Tom's piece, giving him a quick explanation of how she'd figured out the best way to solve the problem. The rest of the game continued a similar fashion. Tom made a few mistakes which she quickly corrected and gave him some advice. Soon he was winning and while he suspected she was letting him win he found himself enjoying the special attention that was being paid to him. As he landed in the final square she gave him an enthusiastic round of applause. “Good job” She said as she began to gather up the game. “Thanks for helping me with some of the hard stuff. I think I kind of learned some stuff too” Tom said. Kirsten smiled with a bit of pride “Well I do want to go into early childhood education” to she she quickly amended “That means teaching little kids like you stuff like basic algebra.” She glanced at her watch “Are you ready for dinner?” “Sure” “Alright, I'll go get it ready. You can look in my bag and see if there's any toys you want to play with.” Tom reached into the bag as she walked off into the kitchen and pulled out a toy robot. He turned it over a few times and examined the panel of buttons across its chest. He pressed one and the robot sprang to life its mechanical arms and legs swinging through the air. He sat it down and watched as it walked a short distance before coming to a halt. He tried some more buttons and discovered that he could make it turn, walk backwards, or even reach for things. Finally he found a switch that allowed multiple buttons to be pushed before letting the robot go to perform them in sequence. He watched in wide eyed delight as it ran a simple rectangle he'd planned out. He began trying to work out how to get to pick up one of his crayons when Kirsten called from the kitchen. “Tommy! Dinner's ready.” she called. Tom reluctantly left his robot and walked into the kitchen. He found his place set with one of the sippy cups his mother had offered him the day before. He may have protested but he knew there was no chance of convincing her he was too big for such a thing, and in truth he'd come to crave the beverage inside. They both sat down and started their meal. “Is Mrs. Peterson one of your teachers?” She asked between bites. “Yeah, she's nice. I like the way she reads stories.” Kirsten nodded “She was a teacher there when I was in preschool. She's been teaching there forever so she's really really good at it. Mrs. Hansley must still be there too right?” “Yeah. And Ms. Kelly too. She's really nice and she helped me learn how to use an art pen.” Kirsten looked over the the refrigerator “I saw that drawing of you and your mommy over there, that's very sweet and you did a good job.” Tom blushed a bit at the attention but he was genuinely proud of what he'd managed to do “Thanks” After dinner Tom spent the rest of the evening happily engrossed with the toy robot while Kirsten sat and read one of her text books on the couch. Through trial and error he was able to create more and more complex routines. He'd just managed to run it in a circuit around the coffee table and behind the couch to pick up a crayon when Kirsten checked her watch. “Five more minutes till bedtime big guy.” She said. Tom groaned in disappointment. “Don't be like that. You have bedtime story to look forward to, I always read to kids who've been good.” Tom perked up slightly “You're going to say I was good?” “As long as you don't give me any trouble about putting you to bed, sure.” She said before going back to her book. Tom returned to the robot and began dreaming of his upcoming visit to the toy store. A few minutes later Kirsten stood up from the couch. “OK sweety, it's time for bed.” she extended her hand and Tom took it without a second thought. She led him to his room and instructed him to lie down on his bed. She quickly found a neatly folded set of PJs topped with thick diaper and handwritten note reading “Tommy's nighttime things” on his dresser. She quickly removed his shirt and pants before untaping his diaper and disposing of it in the pail. She added a fresh layer of baby powder and slid the extra thick nighttime diaper beneath him “These have the cutest designs” she cooed as she taped it in place. Her voice had become soft and soothing like she was trying to coax him to sleep. After he'd stepped into his PJ bottoms she pulled back the covers and tucked him in. She sat down at the side of the bed with a book. “Now this one of my favorites” she said “It's called Danny's Adventure's in Dreamland.” As she began to read Tom realized that for once this had nothing to do with algebra or physics. It was just a kid's book, but he was transfixed. Fanciful illustrations spilled across every page as he heard the story of boy named Danny and his amazing adventures. As Kirsten closed the book and stood up he felt relaxed and cozy and ready for sleep. “Now don't worry about anything, your mommy will be home soon. Good night.” “Good night” Tom responded drowsily as she turned off the light and closed the door behind her. Sometime during the night he came half awake. He smelled his mother's perfume and felt a kiss on his forehead. He drifted happily back to sleep. Chapter 16 “Good morning honey.” Tom looked up at his mother smiling at him “Good morning mom.” He yawned and without even thinking rolled over on his back while she lifted his covers and began pulling down his PJ bottoms. “Kirsten said you were a pleasure to babysit” she said while she undid his sodden nighttime diaper “So we can go the toy store on our way from from school if you want.” Tom smiled and rubbed his eyes. His teddy bear was still nestled under one arm even as he was changed “I guess I thought she was a pretty good babysitter too.” He said. She lifted his PJ top over his head “That's good to hear. Now go get in the shower and don't forget to try that soap.” In the shower he looked over the strange bottle once more. He'd been shown more than once how it was meant to be operated but he just couldn't get it right. His morning shower was his last true refuge of maturity and afterward he'd walk right back into his mother's arms to be diapered and dressed for the day. He sighed and sat the bottle back down, he did the best he could with the bar of soap and finished up. As he lied down on his bed his mother took a diaper from the bag and looked him over. “Still having a little trouble with that soap huh?” “Do I really have to use it? I just can't figure it out.” She slid the diaper underneath him and reached for the powder “Don't worry about it I'll just give you a little help tonight before bedtime” she said as she shook out some powder and taped his diaper in place. “Can't I just take an extra shower or something?” “It's just a little bath, it's no big deal” she paused and poked a finger to his chest taking a slightly sterner tone “Now don't give me any trouble or might have to rethink the toy store.” Tom quieted himself and stood up to be helped into his clothes. “That's better” she said adjusting the straps of his shortalls “I bet going to bed feeling all nice and clean will make you forget all about it. Now let's go get some breakfast and get you to school.” At preschool the sun shone brightly through the large windows, brightening the room's already cheerful hues. It was the first bit of sun in days and as Tom sat with his morning snack and watched cartoons his teachers were busy preparing the class for a trip to the playground. Ms. Kelly came by to give his diaper a quick check before declaring him ready to go out and moving on to the next student. Once all the students in need of a change had been tended to everybody was ushered outside to a playground sat in the corner of the yard surrounding the entire daycare complex. Tom hung back for a moment while his classmates mobbed the swings and slides. Tom found an empty swing and sat down. He let himself dangle while he watched the others, unable to bring himself to participate. Soon he felt a pair of hands at his back. He turned around to see a red headed boy smiling back at him. “I'll give you push” he said excitedly. Tom nearly laughed. He wasn't quite a giant here, but he was certain that such a small child wouldn't be able to budge him at all. A moment later he was arcing through the air. Another sturdy shove as he neared the ground sent him to even higher. His shock at the strength of his classmate soon gave way to the simple joy of being on a swing. He'd forgotten what it was like to feel the wind in his hair and the the short weightless drift as he hit the top of his swing. Finally he noticed something off on the other end of the playground and skidded to a stop. In his excitement he took off running. The merry-go-round had been a favorite of his and he wanted a chance to try this one out. He leaped onto it as slowed. He expected that one of the teachers might give it another shove but instead another boy hopped off and gave it a heave. Tom held tight as the merry-go-round lurched suddenly. One by one boys and girls hopped off to give the ride a forceful spin. Tom wondered if this was something else where he was barely keeping up with his new peers. With a ring of a bell Mrs. Peterson called the class into a disorderly line in front of the door to the classroom. As they marched inside a quick diaper check sent each child either to the changing tables or directly to the nap room. Mrs. Hansley pulled Tom over to tables. “Did you have fun outside” she asked as she sat him down. “Yeah” Tom admitted as he lay back“The swings were pretty fun.” “Looks like you got a little boo-boo” she said. Tom looked the small scrape on his elbow “I guess I got that on the merry-go-round. I didn't even notice.” “Don't worry” she said untaping his heavy diaper “the LumiGro will help that while you're taking your nap.” “LumiGro?” Tom said in bafflement. She fasten a fresh diaper to his hips “It doesn't just help you get big and strong, it helps your boo-boos too.” She smiled and handed him over to Ms. Kelly who led him to the nap room and helped him into his crib. Tom gazed at the soft blue light emanating from the corners of his crib. Now he knew what it was. Now he knew why he'd been the runt of his elementary school classes and why even his classmates here were so surprisingly strong. It dawned on him that he might belong here more than he'd realized. The lights went down as the teachers left the room and the familiar lullaby began to play. He snuggled the stuffed bunny that had taken up home in his crib and fell softly asleep. He awoke to the sound of his crib being unlatched and lowered. Mrs. Peterson hooked a finger into his diaper. “Wet again? We might have to start charging your mommy for extra diapers” she teased. He was ushered back to the changing table and sent to play with the other children. He sat and contented himself with some toys while he eagerly awaited going with his mother to get his own. When he saw her come through the door he could barely contain himself from bounding over to greet her. “Hi mom” he said cheerfully “Hey baby” she chuckled “Looks like somebody's excited about going to the toy store.” “Can go right away?” he asked “I don't know” she teased “were you a good boy today?” Mrs. Hansley laughed as she handed Karen the sign-out sheet “Tommy is a joy to have around. You should have seen him today in his crib with his stuffed bunny. Just adorable.” Tom blushed bright red “It's just really comfortable in there” His mother finished with the sign-out sheet and gave his hair a ruffle “Come on cuddle-bun, let's go get you some toys.” “Moooom” Tom groaned “Cuddle-bun?” “I'm sorry there tough guy” she said lightly tapping his chin with a playful fist “You still want to come with me for some toys?” He nodded excitedly and without waiting for it to be offered or even giving it a thought reached for her hand and walked with her to the car. As they walked into the toy store a bell attached to the door merrily announced their arrival. A kindly faced older man with a pair of bifocals perched on his nose looked up from the counter and smiled warmly at them. “Welcome to Children's Kingdom. Can you help you find something?” “My son is here to pick out some toys” Tom looked around him there was more to this place than toys. A large section to his left trailed off into a selection of more practical needs; furniture, clothes, and other sundry items. “Preschool toys are right over here” the man said motioning towards a circle of colorful shelves. Tom walked over and found himself surrounded by a colorful array of boxes and displays. Some toys he recognized from school, some were new. He looked over a few that had been taken out of their boxes and put on display while the adults talked behind him. He picked out the same robot he'd played with the night before and a toy race car kit like the one a school. On his way back to his mother he passed a crib just like the one he took his naps in at school. He paused stared at it. For a moment he considered asking for it. It was always so comfy and he wanted to be able to keep up with the other kids. He felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. “Find something else you want?” She asked. “No, just looking” Tom said pausing just a little too long to be believable. “It's OK if you'd rather sleep in a crib. I was thinking of getting you one but I wasn't sure you'd like it.” “Don't they have any regular beds with those light things” Tom asked the shopkeeper. He shook his head “Sorry son. The effect stops working after a while, so none of the big kid beds have them.” Tom looked back at is mother “OK, I like the one at school I guess.” She smiled “I think that's a good idea honey.” She turned to the shopkeeper “When can you have one delivered?” He quickly looked over a sheet of paper “Looks like we can fit you in tomorrow.” “Great. Sign us up, and he'll take these two toys too.” As they climbed back in the car Tom sat his new toys in his lap “Thanks mom.” “You're welcome honey. We can make this a weekly treat for being a good boy if you want.” Tom nodded excitedly “I'd like that. There's some other stuff I wanted too.” “Good, I'd like to get some extra sheets for your crib, just in case your night diaper doesn't hold out.” Tom blushed slightly “ Do you really think the crib is a good idea?” Karen nodded emphatically “Yes I do. You're going to have to sleep in one for a while if you want to be a big kid.” “I guess it will be alright for a while” Tom mused. As his mother pulled the car into traffic he wondered how long a while would be. At home he waited patiently through a diaper change before finally getting to open his new toys. He pulled a bag of robot parts from one box and unfolded a large sheet of directions. After a few attempts he managed to get the most basic first stages done on his own but he found the rest of the instructions trailed off into far more difficult territory. “Ask a grown-up or other big person for help” the instructions cheerfully suggested. “Mom?” Tom called hesitantly from his spot on the floor “Can you help me with this? Please.” She looked up from some papers she was working on and smiled “I guess I can take a break.” She sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder while she studied the directions. “This part goes with that part” she said pointing to some pieces laying on the carpet. She guided him through the rest of the process pausing several times to handle more complicated steps. Finally he snapped the final piece in place. “Alright, good job” his mother said giving him a gentle pat on the back. Tom happily turned his new robot over in his hands “You helped with most of the hard stuff” he thought for a moment and gave her a hug and a little kiss on the cheek “Thanks mom.” “Awwww” she cooed as she hugged him tightly and returned his kiss “You're welcome sweet boy.” She embraced him for a moment longer before giving him a pat on the bottom “I need to make dinner. Why don't you play with your new toys?” Tom picked his robot back up and spent the rest of his evening keenly absorbed in is new toys. He paused for dinner chatting happily with his mother about his day before breezing out again to living room for more playtime. After a while his mother tapped her watch. “It's getting close to your bedtime” she said with calm authority “Let's get you into the tub.” Tom looked up at her with pleading eyes “Can't I just keep doing that myself. Please.” “Once you learn to do it yourself you can, but I'm going to help you until then.” “But...” Tom started. “Don't you want to be a good boy like we talked about before?” Tom quietly took her hand and she led him upstairs to the bathroom. She started the tap before turning to get him undressed. “There we go” she said as she unfastened his diaper “just sit down in the tub and I'll get you all nice clean. You'll feel a lot better, you'll see.” Tom stepped into the tub and sat down. He watched as his mother took the bottle of soap that had given him so much trouble and deftly worked its mechanism to soap up the water. She squirted out some more on a washcloth and began washing him head to toe. Tom wasn't sure if it was the nice warm water, the pleasant calming smell of the soap, or just his mother's loving care but he was slowly able to just relax. She gave him a little tickle under his arm “I told you” she said and began to lather up his hair. Tom just closed his eyes and felt the soap and water wash over him. “There we go all nice and clean. Now just step out and I'll get you ready for bed” As Tom got out of the tub she wrapped him in a big fluffy towel. He peeked out at his mother from it's generous folds as she dried him thoroughly “Thanks mom. That feels a lot better. Sorry I tried to argue with you.” “You're welcome honey” she said as she finished up “And I know you're just trying to be big. You're still a very good boy. Now how about some PJs and a nice bedtime story?” “Bedtime story?” Tom asked. “Sure” his mother responded while she hung up his towel “Kirsten said you seemed to enjoy it. So unless you're just in a hurry to get to sleep...” “OK” Tom said with a amused smile “I guess it was pretty nice.” In his room Tom lay back on his bed while his mother gathered a fresh nighttime diaper and baby powder. As she began applying the powder he asked “What story are you going to read.” She smiled “Something special I think your going to like.” She slid the extra thick diaper beneath him and taped it snugly in place before helping him into his PJs. She tucked him in as he settled down in his bed with his teddy bear in his arms. “I just saw something today while I was getting lunch and it made me think of you” she said taking a large thin book wit h sturdy pages titled The Story of Gavin Giraffe. Tom blushed slightly “That book made you think of me?” She sat on the side of his bed “You said he was your favorite and I thought we might give it a try.” She open the book and began reading the story of how Gavin came to join the other characters and how, at first, he thought he was bigger than everybody else. Tom held his bear closer and found himself laughing at the voices his mother had chosen for the characters. In the end Gavin understood that he had a lot to learn from the others and they all became friends. She closed the book and stood up giving her son a kiss on the forehead “Good night sweety” she said softly. Tom sat up enough to give her a kiss on the cheek “Good night mom.” She turned off the light on the way out and closed the door quietly behind her. Tom closed his eyes and thought about his mother finding that book and thinking about him. He knew he had play his part to make this strange situation work out as well as possible for both of them. And it seemed more and more every day that it might be an easy part to fit into. He hugged his teddy bear to his chest and drifted off to sleep. Chapter 17 Tom fished out his last spoonful of cereal while his mother talked on the phone. “Thank you” she said “If I'd known this was a school holiday I'd have planned ahead.” She listened for a moment and laughed “I hope he's not much of a problem, he's usually very well behaved. I'll just need to get his diaper bag all packed and I'll drop him off.” Tom tried to look interested in the remains of his orange juice while these arrangements were made. Karen ended the call and sat at the table smiling. “That was Mrs. Burke, I think you know her son Johnny from when you were in Mrs. Taylor's class. She says she'll be able to watch you today.” Tom looked back at her. “Yeah I remember him.” He recalled a time, not long ago, that he would have protested such an arrangement. Now it would seem ridiculous. He obviously needed some kind of supervision. “I think that will be alright.” She smiled a smoothed his bangs “I think so too.” They arrived at the Burke's doorstep, Tom's freshly packed diaper back slung over his mother's shoulder. Tom let his arm hang loosely from her grip on his hand and looked at the large welcome mat while she rang the doorbell. Johnny's mother answered the door with an enthusiastic “Hey guys!” “Hi Marie, nice to meet you” Karen said as she shifted the diaper bag to her hand “This is Tommy.” “Hi Tommy” she said bending down to meet his face “Johnny is so excited to have you over today.” “Hi” Tom replied sheepishly as his mother handed his diaper bag over to Mrs. Burke. “This should be everything he needs, he only goes through a few diapers a day” She said “Thank you so much for taking him on such short notice.” “It's no trouble at all” She said offering a hand to to Tommy “It'll be fun to have a little guy around the house again.” At that Karen looked at Tom dressed in his preschool shortalls and smiled. She knelt down and gave him a hug “Be good for Mrs. Burke.” Tom hugged back “I will.” She let him go with a kiss on his forehead “Good bye sweety. I'll be back as soon as I can.” “Bye mom” Tom said as he took Mrs Burke's hand. Karen stepped towards the car as Mrs. Burke led him inside and closed the door “Wanna go see what Johnny's doing?” She led him to Johnny's room and rapped lightly on the already open door. “Johnny I have a little visitor for you.” Johnny looked up from a set of models he was working on “Hi Tommy!” He said enthusiastically “We're gonna have a lot of fun today I just know it.” Tom smiled warily. It was good see his friend again, but the circumstances were so different now. “You two have fun” She said cheerily “And let me know if you think you need anything” Tom noticed her nod in his direction and pointed look at Johnny. “I will Mom” Johnny said she walked away. Tom walked across the room to Johnny's desk. He glanced around at the various intricate looking models and shelves of inscrutable toys. “What are you doing?” he said in the most casual manner he could manage. “I'm just making a model of the Battle of Hastings” Johnny said with a small measure of pride “Of course no one really knows how the English side was set up but I put the front line all the way to the river just 'cause it looks cooler.” He looked at Tom who only nodded slowly but eyed the soldiers with excitement. “This guy over here is William II of Normandy” Johnny said gearing down his explanation “And this is Harold II.” “That looks really cool. But I don't know who those guys are.” Tom admitted. “That's OK” Johnny said setting down one of the models “Let's find something we can both do.” Johnny opened up his closet and began reaching into the back. “I haven't played with this for a while but it's lots of fun' He said as he as retrieved a box depicting several Kindergarten-aged kids playing with some sort of large crane. He sat the box down in the middle of the floor and opened it revealing a well-organized set of metal pieces and engine parts. “What do you want to make?” Tom looked everything over “I don't know. It looks kind of complicated.” Johnny smiled “It's OK I know what to do with the hard parts. How about a crane like the one on the box?” “Sure” Tom shrugged as he sat down beside his friend. Tom worked on the base while Johnny put together several motors as he tried to explain a few things about torque and armature. Tom just nodded and focused on linking his pieces together. Before long they came to the point where one of the motors was to be attached. Johnny handed him an unfinished motor and stepped him through adding some of the basic components. As his sketchy understanding grew he watched their creation become a working crane. He took the controls and, with a sense of accomplishment, began picking up and moving some toy cars Johnny had spread out. “Neat huh?” Johnny said “Yeah, this is cool” Tom replied. “Hey guys, I've got some snacks for you!” Mrs. Burke shouted from downstairs. Tom rushed down with Johnny and found two places set up in front of the TV. “I'm sorry Tommy” Mrs. Burke explained “I couldn't find any sippy cups but I found and old bottle. I know you're a little big for that but I hope it's OK.” Tom looked for a moment at the small plate of fresh cookies and the pale blue baby bottle beside it. “Oh” Tom said trying to register as little embarrassment with her well intentioned hospitality as possible “That's OK.” He sat cross legged on the floor while she turned the TV to some cartoon he hadn't seen before. Tentatively he tilted the bottle back and brought it to his lips. The liquid inside was delicious, like what he drank from his sippy cup at preschool but better. He began drinking in earnest until he felt his diaper being checked. “You're good for now” Mrs. Burke said patting his head “But not for long if you keep drinking like that.” Johnny came back from a quick trip to the bathroom and settled in beside Tom. “Oh I used to watch this show all the time” He said.. “What is it?” “The Triangle Trio” Johnny said taking his glass of milk “its about basic trigonometry.” Tom as cross legged and drank slowly from his bottle as he watched with growing interest. When he found himself laughing alone he looked over and saw Johnny wasn't paying attention. “We could try watching something you like” Tom offered to his friend. “This is OK” Johnny said batting away the suggestion “There's really just preschool stuff on right now anyway.” The closing theme of the show prompted Mrs. Burke's return to the room. She placed her hand on her knees and looked down happily at Tom “Now that we've had a snack I think it might be time for a nap” she knelt down next to him and checked his diaper “And some new pants too. Come on, we'll just let Johnny have some big kid time.” She took him by the hand and led him upstairs to a small guest room where a large comfy looking bed had been outfitted with a fold-out railing and a collection of stuffed animals. Tom's diaper bag had been been set on the dresser and she quickly retrieved his changing mat and fresh diaper from it. She laid the changing mat across the foot of the bed and turned to get more supplies. Tom knew exactly what was expected of him and he laid back on the mat without protest or complaint. “OK sweetheart just lie down and..” she said before she turned around and saw him lying there. “Such a good boy” she smiled. She quickly undid his shortalls and began removing his sodden diaper “Getting all this stuff out of storage made me think about how much I miss having a little guy to take care of around here” she said wistfully “Johnny's gotten so big he hardly needs me any more.” She got him cleaned, powder and into a dry diaper before pulling back the covers and allowing him to climb in. “Now just try to take a little nap” she said tucking him in “and we can go to the park after you get up.” She left him with another bottle, pressed a button on a small blue cube on the night stand, and quietly closed the door behind her. Tom held his bottle and looked curiously at the cube as a soft lullabye began to drift faintly from somewhere inside. He could still hear the sounds of Johnny downstairs watching some program for big kids and as the gentle music filled the room and sleep overcame him he wondered when he'd be big again. Mrs. Burke roused him by shaking his shoulder and he found his bottle pressed to his lips and half empty. In his other hand a plain brown stuffed bear was clutched loosely to his chest. “Looks like you made yourself nice and comfy” his babysitter observed. With scarcely another word he was changed out of his nap time diaper and brought down stairs where Johnny was already ready for a trip to the neighborhood park. Mrs. Burke, diaper bag slung over one shoulder, held Tom's hand all through the several blocks to the park while Johnny walked briskly ahead excitedly detailing all the things they could do at there. When they arrived she knelt down and place a hand on Tom's shoulder. “Just let me know if any of these big kid rides get too scary” she said indicating another smaller play ground at the bottom of the hill “There's another playground for preschool kids over there if you'd like.” Tom looked up at the odd playground equipment towering over his head. A set of swings seemed to have some sort of elaborate mechanical contraption at it's top. While down at the bottom of the hill was small arrangement of cheery looking plastic rides much like the ones he'd seen anywhere else. He watched as Johnny dashed off for the big kid equipment and considered his options. “I think this will be fine” he said. “OK hon, I”ll just be right over there on the bench.” She gave him a pat on the bottom. He joined Johnny at the swing set. “Sit down Tommy” Johnny said “This is one of my favorites.” Tom sat himself in one of the swings and watched as Johnny flipped two switches and rushed over to the neighboring swing. “Don't forget to hold on” Johnny cautioned as he sat down. From above Tom heard whirring sound and his swing began to sway back and forth. “Oh neat” Tom said “It's all automatic” a hard metal clink sounded and the swing thrust them both higher. Tom tightened his grip but smiled “I like this one” he said happily. “It gets a lot better than this” Johnny replied with a grin. Another clank and the swings flew still higher. Now Tom was being lifted out of of seat. He held tighter and watched the ground fly away from beneath him. He took a breath and told himself to hold it together. A whirring sound came from above and Tom wrapped his hands desperately around the chain as the swing began to spin. It spun faster and faster as he heard Johnny laughing with delight beside him. Finally he let out a small yelp. Somewhere in the whirl spinning around him he saw Mrs. Burke reach out for the switch. Slowly everything wound down until he could take a dizzy step off the swing. Mrs. Burke knelt down and placed steadying hands gently on his shoulders “Are you OK sweety?” “Yeah I'm fine” Tom said with evident embarrassment as he leaned against his caretaker for support. “Sorry Tommy” Johnny said “I thought you'd have fun.” “That's OK” Tom replied. As the world started to settle around him he became aware his diaper being checked. “Oh dear, you are absolutely soaked” Mrs. Burke rose to her feet and took his hand “Let's go get you changed and then maybe we can try out the other playground. Johnny might want some more big kid time.” As Tom was led down toward the diaper changing room he looked back at Johnny happily jumping back on the swing. Once inside he was hoisted onto the the nearest changing table. “I'm sorry about all that” she said as she retrieved supplies from the diaper bag and began undoing Tom's shortalls “The other playground looks like a lot more fun don't you think?” Tom nodded “It looks more like the one at my school. That one doesn't have spinning swings or anything like that.” Mrs. Burke slid a fresh diaper under his bottom and taped it into place “I think so too. Let's go give it a try.” She set him on his feet, took his hand, and led him out to the playground. She paused for a moment to assess its offerings. “Would you like to start with the sandbox?” “Sure” Tom said unenthusiastically, disinterested in the sandbox itself but eager to avoid being hurtled around by another automatic swing set. He sat at the edge of the sandbox and absentmindedly ran the sand through his fingers. He paused and looked at the sand curiously, something about it felt different. He took a small handful and squeezed it his hand. Surprised to find that it held its shape he knelt down in the sand to see what else it could do. He quickly learned that could easily mold it into almost any shape he wanted or break it apart again by rubbing it between his fingers. Without any thought to appearances he lost himself in constructing a grand sand castle with grand archways and towering parapets. His inexperience showed in the rough uneven walls and sometimes his structures collapsed but he carried on playing taking earnest pride in his childish looking structure. He was putting on some finishing touches when he heard footsteps behind him. He looked up to see his mother smiling at him. “Hey sweety, that's a great castle.” Tom stood up as she knelt down to hug him “Thanks” he said returning the hug “The sandboxes here are really fun.” “I can see you were enjoying yourself” she teased as she brushed sand from the seat of his shortalls. “You're covered in it. You'll definitely need a bath tonight.” She looked over to Mrs. Burke “Hi Marie, I hope he wasn't to much trouble.” Mrs. Burke gave Tom's cheek a pinch “He was a joy to watch.” she handed over his diaper bag “I'd be happy to look after him again if you need it.” Johnny bounded down the hill “Bye Tommy. I hope your mom let's you come over to play again soon. Maybe you'll even be ready for the big kid swings.” Tom glanced at the menacing swings at the top of the hill “Yeah maybe” “I think Tommy might prefer the sandbox for a little while” Mrs. Burke said. “Well thanks again.” Tom's mother said as she took his hand “Hope we'll see each other again soon. Bye guys” Tom looked contemplatively at the sandbox wondering how much longer he'd be playing in playgrounds like this one. He felt his mother give his hand a squeeze and looked to see her nod in the direction of Mrs. Burke and Johnny. “Oh yeah.” he quickly remembered himself “Bye Mrs. Burke. Bye Tommy.” Karen turned and began walking her son back home. “Just so you know, I stopped by the house earlier so they could deliver your new crib.” “Can't I sleep in my bed one more night?” Tom asked fearing he already knew the answer. His mother shook her head “Sorry sweety, they took it down to make room. You'll like it once you get used to it.” “I guess I can try.” Tom said sounding somewhat deflated. “That's my good boy” she replied mussing his hair slightly “Now let's go home and get some dinner.” Chapter 18 Tom stood in the his room looking over his new furniture. In the middle of the room was a large cherry-wood sleigh style crib neatly fitted with baby blue sheets patterned with nursery rhyme characters. His teddy bear was dutifully stationed in one corner. Beside the crib was a large rocking chair. To replace the convenient changing area his bed had offered, a changing table now stood against the far wall. “What do think?” his mother asked as she stocked it with diapers. “Do I really need to sleep in it with the rails up and everything?” “You do at school don't you?” “Yeah. But that's just for a little while. I mean those light things still work even when the rail is down right?” Tom pointed out hopefully. “Yes they do.” She replied as she stood up and approached her son “But your much safer with them up. It's a really big drop if you fall out.” “But I won't” he looked pleadingly into his mother's skeptical eyes. She began to shake her head and he took a new tact “What if I need you for something?” She knelt down and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder “Aww sweety, would you like it if I checked on you during the night.” He looked down. As much as he wanted to tell himself this was all just a gambit it was just as much of an admission. “I just what to be able to go to your room if something bad happens.” She lifted his chin and looked him in the eye. “You really are worried aren't you?” She relented “Well I suppose it's better than having you try to climb out.” She smiled “But I'm still going to start checking on you.” She pressed a finger playfully to his nose “And if I find you've rolled out you're getting locked up nice and tight.” She punctuated her teasing with a quick hug and light swat on his bottom. “Now how about some play time before dinner?” That night Tom sat in a tub filled with warm soapy water while his mother gave him his bedtime bath. She hummed softly as she scrubbed him. “Close your eyes so you don't get any soap in them honey.” He shut his eyes and listened closely to the tune as she lathered his hair, somehow it seemed familiar though he couldn't place it. “That sand just got everywhere” she observed as rinsed the soap from his head. “Sorry, I guess I didn't notice.” Tom said opening his eyes again. “Don't apologize” she said holding up a large fluffy towel “That's what I'm here for.” She wrapped him in the towel as he stepped out of the tub, dried him thoroughly, and led him back to his room. She let the towel fall to the ground as she lifted him onto his new changing table. She softly hummed the tune again as she powdered and prepared him for his nightime diaper. Tom searched his mind for anywhere he could have heard it. His extra thick diaper was fastened snuggly around him before he could find the memory. “There's something extra that came with your crib” his mother said retrieving something from the changing table. Tom watched as she held up a footed sleeper printed with little cartoon race cars. “They had a few to choose from” she smiled “and since you like playing with your toy car I picked this one. Would you like to try it on?” She looked at him hopefully. Tom blushed slightly at being the object of his mother's maternal thoughtfulness again. But deep inside it felt right. He smiled and nodded “Good choice mom.” She set him on the ground and helped him into his new PJs. “What do you think?” she said as she zipped up the back. Tom took a moment to feel the padding beneath his feet and soft warm fabric swaddling his body. “It's really comfortable.” “I knew you'd like it” she took a book from the dresser and sat in the rocking chair “How about a bedtime story?” holding her arms out invitingly. Tom smiled and climbed into her lap. It took him a moment to fit himself in comfortably but he found a cozy spot with his head resting on her shoulder and a view the pictures depicting Mortimer Mouse's Moon Mystery. “Mortimer Mouse was getting ready for his trip to the moon” she began as she gently rocked. “Somebody was stealing cheese from the cheese mines and only the world famous detective could find out who.” As she turned each page she held up the pictures for him and Tom listened closely to every word. As they reached the conclusion Mortimer was questioning a strange mouse the space patrol had found sneaking around the moon base. “'I'm a professional moon explorer” she read in a squeaky voice “and I've come here to climb the tallest mountain on the moon: Mons Hadley.'” “'This explorer a fraud and I can prove it.'” She read, giving Mortimer a slightly more distinguished voice “How did Mortimer know?” “I know that one.” Tom smiled “The tallest mountain on the moon is Mons Huygens.” “Let's see” she said as she turned to the last page and read “Mortimer knew that any moon explorer would know that Mons Huygens is tallest mountain on the moon.” She closed the book and smiled at him “Did you learn that at school?” Tom looked down bashfully “Yeah, they're got a Speak-n-Say that has a lot of stuff about astronomy on it.” “That's what you should be doing sweety” she said as she hugged him close and continued rocking “Just play and learn and don't forget that I'll always be here.” Tom just closed his eyes and let her rock him “I know mom.” “Still want the side of your crib down?” She asked. Tom nodded. “Alright, I'll be in to check on you in a bit.” She said as she stood up and set him down. “Thanks mom” Tom yawned. She turned back the sheets and helped him into his crib. “Good night sweety” she said with a kiss on his forehead. “Good night” Tom replied closing his eyes. Soon after she had clicked off the light and closed the door behind her Tom was fast asleep. Sometime during the night he was dimly aware being gently pushed from the edge of the crib being tucked back in. The next morning Tom was sitting on the floor at preschool building a railroad with some of his classmates. He vaguely remembered some of what he'd learned from building the crane with Johnny while he pieced the engine together. Finally he set it down on the completed track and watched with pride as his train chugged steadily around curves and up hills. He was absorbed he barely noticed when Ms. Kelly came by to check his diaper and round him up for story time. He found his place in front of Mrs. Peterson who sat patiently with a book in her lap while the children gathered around here. “Good morning everyone” she said sweetly once they were all assembled. “Good morning Mrs. Peterson” Tom replied in unison with the rest of the class. “Now before we start the story does anybody know what important day is coming up?” She asked. “Founder's day” answered most of the class. “That's right. And who knows what that means?” “It's the day when they started the town.” answered one boy. “That's right Josh” Mrs Peterson replied “And for Founder's Day all your mommies and daddies will come to class. So we're going to learn a new song we can all sing for them.” As his classmates clamored excitedly around him a sense of dread sunk into the pit of Tom's stomach. He'd grown to except so many things in this new life but singing a preschool song in front of an audience was yet another step back. He sat and contemplated a way out while Mrs. Peterson read the morning's story. After story time we was whisked away for a quick change into put down in his crib for naptime. He looked at the bars around him and thought of the one slim outpost of maturity he'd managed to maintain at home. He feared losing more it but as he took hold of his stuffed bunny and closed his eyes he thought about how the comforts of being a preschooler seemed so right. Later that afternoon he exchanged hugs with his mother as she picked up him up from class. “Your teacher says you guys are going to put on a show for us.” She said excitedly “I can't wait to see what you guys are planning.” Tom looked at her smile and abandoned any notion of getting out of it. He just couldn't disappoint her that way. “It's just going to be song.” He said. “Well I'm sure you'll do a great job.” She said taking him by the hand and leading him to the car. Later, before bed being put to bed, he was given his nightly bath and was a story as he cuddled in his mother's lap. During the night he woke up to his mother rolling him back from the edge of the crib. “Just go back to sleep” she whispered as she kissed him on the forehead and smoothed the sheets over him. In the morning Tom ate breakfast while he watched her get ready for the day. “It's a good thing I've been checking on you” she said “You can try sleeping with the side down a little while longer but I may have to find another arrangement OK?” Tom began to object but stopped short. He could see she was serious, and he knew she was right. “OK mom.” He answered. “Good boy” she said “Now let's get you to school.” As Tom sat in the car watching out the window he wondered what the other arrangement could possibly be. And the first of the new chapters Chapter 19 By late morning at preschool Tom had thoroughly engrossed himself in his favorite toys and he felt a twinge of disappointment as his teachers began herding the children together to begin practicing their Founder's Day song. He reluctantly trudged toward the piano where a smiling Mrs. Peterson greeted her students. “OK children” she said clapping her hands together “Today we're going to learn a new song for all our mommies and daddies. Is everybody ready?” Tom looked down at his feet and wished he was somewhere else while his classmates all voiced their enthusiastic ascent. Mrs. Peterson plucked out a few notes on they keyboard and began leading the class through the song. The other preschoolers followed along repeating the lines after her while Tom tried to stay unobtrusively in back, moving his lips but barely paying attention at all. He felt a tug on the strap of his shortalls as Mrs. Hansley pulled him aside to check his diaper. “You don't need a change, why are you so cranky today?” She asked him quietly. “I just don't want to do this song. Can't I do something else?” “Don't be shy.” She said placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder “Think of how proud your mommy will be when she sees you singing.” She turned him back around and knelt beside him. “Just sing along with me.” Tom, knowing he could no longer get away with faking it, finally paid attention to the words. “Concordia parvae res crescunt.” Mrs. Peterson sang. Tom gave Mrs. Hansley a puzzled look. “It's Latin” she explained. “Some of the words are kind of big, just follow along and do your best.” The phrase repeated several time and Tom tried his best to remember and pronounce the words. “Crescat scientia vita excolatur” continued Mrs. Peterson. Tom took a moment to wonder what the kids in higher grades were doing and be thankful this was all he had to face. He struggled on through the rest of the song taking some small comfort in the fact that his classmates had some difficulty as well. The class moved on to snack time and Tom pondered how he'd ever learn this song as he ate his milk and cookies. By the time his mother was taking him home he had a plan, he'd fake sick the day of the performance. He wouldn't embarrass himself stumbling over some preschool song in front of an audience. “So how did the rehearsal go?” She asked as she pulled out of the parking space. “OK I guess he said” he looked over at his mother, the woman who bathed him and changed his diapers, and abandoned his guardedness “Some of the words are really hard. I don't know if I can even remember them.” “You'll do great I'm sure, I'm just so proud of you.” Tom watched out the window for a few moments before turning back to her “Are you really proud of me?” She looked genuinely shocked at his question “Of course I do sweety. You're learning so much and adjusting to all this new stuff so well. I can't wait wait to see you show everybody else too.” “Thanks mom” Tom thought for a moment “I'll do my best for you.” She smiled at him at him and gave his hair a ruffle “I know you will.” His thoughts of faking sick began to melt away. He could almost see himself singing his heart out alongside his fellow preschoolers and making his mother proud. After dinner he sprawled himself out in front of some cartoons and played with his small but burgeoning collection of toys while his mother relaxed with a book. Even if she wasn't actively watching him, knowing she was close gave him a certain peace of mind. She noticed him looking back at her. “Do you need a change?” she asked raising an eyebrow. Tom shook his head “No, I don't think so.” She smirked skeptically and sat down to give him a check. “What do you know? All dry and clean. What were you glancing around for?” Tom laughed at his mother's teasing and shrugged his shoulders “Nothing.” She took one of the straps of his shortalls and rolled him onto his back. Grinning she placed a finger to his side.”Are you sure you don't want to tell me” “Mooom” Tom half-groaned half-laughed. She slid a hand under his shirt and reached under his arm giving him a light tickle. “I'm not really even ticklish anymore” Tom said even as he began to squirm a bit. “Oh really?” She said as she tickled faster. “Then this won't do anything at all” She laughed as she twitched her finger across his skin. Tom resisted momentarily before breaking into giggles and trying to roll away. “You seem pretty ticklish to me.” She said grinning as she withdrew her attack. “Maybe a little bit.” Tom said as he caught his breath. She checked his diaper again “More than just a little” she laughed “It's probably time to get you ready for bed anyway.” She got him out of his newly soaked diaper and into a nice warm tub. “I got something for your room” she said as she started scrubbing his back. “Really, what is it?” “You know how you were worried about putting the sides of your crib up?” “Yeah? “Well I got something that will let me know if you need me for anything.” “You mean a baby monitor?” “Well we can call it a kid monitor if you prefer, but yes. Now lift your arm for me honey” Tom complied and she gently soaped up his side “You don't mind do you?” “I guess not” Tom said resignedly. “Good boy” she said as she squirted a dollop of shampoo into he hand “I know you're probably disappointed about needing these things, but I just want to make sure you're safe. And it can't be that bad knowing I can keep an eye you can it?” Tom looked down, wondering for a moment if she could read his thoughts. She saw the bashful smile creeping across his face “I didn't think so. Now close your eyes.” She lathered his hair. “I need to get you in for a hair cut soon” she commented as she worked. Tom stepped out of the tub and into the warm thick towel his mother was holding. She dried him off and ushered him into his room. She gave him another pass over with the towel before lifting him onto the changing table. Tom was momentarily surprised by the increasing ease with which she was able to help him up. But his attention was soon diverted to the new device sitting on a table next to his crib. “It's got a camera too” She said as she retrieved a thick night-time diaper from the diaper stacker. She slid it under his freshly scrubbed bottom, taped it in place, and dressed him in his Pjs. “Now how about a bedtime story?” She sat in the rocking chair and motioned for him to sit in her lap. He settled in while she took a book from the table “There's one more thing” she said getting one of the bottles he'd had at Mrs. Burke's house from the table as well. “I heard you like these.” “Thank you” Tom said slightly embarrassed but thankful for the treat. She began to rock gently as she held the nursing boy in her arms and read from the colorful pages. Tom barely followed the story. He was tired and the rocking was already lulling him to sleep. She paused “Are you ready for bed sweety? We can finish this book later.” Tom just nodded and rubbed his eyes. Karen smiled “OK, up you go.” She rose from the rocking chair, helped him into his crib. Through the encroaching fuzziness of sleep Tom again noticed how easily she did this, his own effort was scarcely required. She pulled the blankets up to his shoulders and after making sure his teddy was within reach she handed him his still half-full bottle. “Now if you need me you can just call alright?” “OK mom.” Tom replied. “Good night.” She kissed him the forehead and raised the rails into place. “Good night mom” Tom said nestling himself into place. She turned off the lights on the way out the door and Tom was left gazing through half-closed eyes at the dimly glowing light from his baby monitor. He could remember a time it would have been an unbearable intrusion. Now he seemed adrift in and endless sea of babyhood and the idea of there even being a shore faded further away every day. Some part of him still wanted to be a big kid to the outside world, but here at home this felt right. He drank from his bottle while he contemplated these things and was disappointed when the sweet warm formula ran out. He let the empty bottle roll from his hand as he fell asleep. Some time in the middle of the night he came half awake and found a full bottle in its place. He smiled as he took it to his lips.

Thanks to @kasarberangfor topping off the donation meter!

Putting on a diaper is half the fun of wearing them.

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Absolutely, it helps me stay more clam. My mama said their like my security blanket. I also have IBS & Urinary issues and wear all the time now. However, leading up to that I’d always noticed I was more calm when diapered then when not. I also notice that I felt more like me once I was diapered all the time. A hard realization to have, but grateful to have had it.

That's just fundamentally not how the current landscape works. I can't think of any website that charges users to advertise/promote their off-site work. And I certainly can't imagine it being seen positively. I also think a massive overhaul to the site is a suboptimal move, too. Many people view this as a comfortable safe-space to hang out, changing everything about it would most certainly drive away a huge amount of the community. I also disagree with your assessment that if someone is posting stories up on something like Patreon that they are saying that they are claiming they're on the level of a professional. Writing takes time, hobbyist or not. Most of the Patreon stories that I see are basically just glorified donation pages where people can support the writers they enjoy and get some early content (which is eventually hosted on this site entirely free.) I don't disagree that potentially different monetization methods might be worth looking into, I also think your proposed solutions would just anger/frustrate users who feel comfortable here, rather than anything else. Personally, I definitely prefer the donation model as opposed to alternative methods of monetization, which usually involves selling/exploiting user data.

Interesting start! Looking forward to where you take this one!

If she's 14 like she's guessing she is it'll be 4 years she's lost. But, given this is the start of the school year she could be 13 at this point actually depending on her birthdate, and could be 5 years.

Whelp, bedwetting clearly was already an issue for this Belly! Mom had stuff on hand to do the clean-up, so I'm guessing it is destined to be a regular thing. The near miss of a messy accident tells me that will be in the not too distant future too! At the rate she's going, elementary school should be her new place to be by Monday? Back to her preschool and daycare years a couple weeks later? I really always have loved pure age regression stories, and this is turning out to be one of the great ones! Looking forward to more! 🙂

VICKIE'S MAGIC WAND It took Ian less than twelve hours to begin the slow but seemingly inevitable descent to his second spanking. The first had ended long after midnight, and when it was over Rita and Vickie had gently eased him to the floor. It wasn't clear whether he had fallen into a deep sleep or passed out drunk, but once Marge had overcome the challenge of getting him into a fresh diaper and baby pants, Rita slid a pillow under his head, and Vickie fetched a blanket to cover him. Ian slept for hours, Sarah sat watching over him until she finally nodded off, and the others scattered to find places to catch what little rest they could. Ian and Sarah both came slowly awake when Reiko put the coffee on in the kitchen. It was finally Vickie's turn to change his diaper, which was as heavily soiled as it was soaking wet. Shortly thereafter, everyone began to say their goodbyes and head for home. It was mid-afternoon on a cold but clear Sunday when Ian and Sarah took their leave-- the Sunday before Thanksgiving. By the time they reached Ian's apartment, Sarah was so angry that she rushed to the phone, called Rita, and asked her to summon the Circle to meet on Tuesday evening. Ian had just earned his second spanking, she said, and she added that she wanted Vickie to deliver it. It was clear to Rita and Sarah-- indeed, to all of them-- that Vickie wanted to spank Ian very, very badly. Vickie had never made any secret of the fact that spanking her lovers gave her a sexual high with which no run of the mill orgasm could compete. Giving it no thought whatsoever, Sarah had decided to make Vickie's wish come true. Sarah would be leaving for home on Wednesday morning, the six hour drive to Houghton in the summertime stretching out to an eight hour slog over the treacherous roads of early winter in the Upper Midwest. Outsiders thought that the locals were joking when they complained that God annually punished them for the heathen sins of their Viking ancestors by dumping the worst storm of the season on Thanksgiving morning. The locals weren't joking. If the drive north on Wednesday was problematic, the drive south on Sunday looked to be anything but. To judge from the weather forecast, Sarah concluded, it would probably take her eleven long hours to get home. And she wanted company … Ian's company. It was time for Ian to meet her mom. The only problem was that Ian disagreed. He had classes to teach, and he couldn't cancel them. He had been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner party by the wife of his department chair. He had already accepted, and couldn't back out. Blah, blah this and blah, blah that. Sarah wasn't having it, and Ian exclaimed that she was being unreasonable. Commitments were commitments. Sarah reminded him of their agreement, pointed out that all of his students would be grateful if canceled classes permitted them to head for home before the Holiday. As for the dinner party, she told him in no uncertain terms that his days of partying without her were over. And it went downhill from there. When Vickie got the phone call from Rita, she was jubilant. In the wee small hours of Sunday morning, she had drawn the winning straw, in the form of Ian's messy diaper. She had taken her damn, sweet time cleaning, oiling and powdering his bottom. She had caressed it, tracing slow circles over his awesome butt cheeks, so small yet so firm. She had brought the blood to the surface, a foreshadow of what she would do when she actually spanked him. She had wrapped a baby wipe around her finger and inserted it deep into his anus, searching for the prostate, finding it. Then, throwing caution to the winds, she had used two fingers to gift him with a prostate massage that gifted her in return with a low moan that seemed to stretch for hours. To hell with Rita's instructions, she shrugged as she turned him over, the movement well practiced over years of preparing patients for the enemas that they would receive in their beds. She ran her fingernails up and down the inside of his left thigh, repeatedly raking the barely hidden nerve that drove men wild. Ian was staring at her but not really seeing her, succumbing to the temptress, wanting everything that she was offering. He came fully erect, a six inch long tree trunk that Vickie circled with thumb and index finger, urging him along, his low moans becoming more and more insistent. She wanted to give him a ruined orgasm, but bit down hard and backed off, not knowing whether he was a screamer. After all, it wouldn't do to have Sarah barge in and have poor little Ian witness the cat fight to end all cat fights … And now the stupid cow insisted that, in two days' time, Vickie put Ian over her lap and spank him to within an inch of his life! Vickie put down the phone, rushed into the bedroom, and yanked the drawer open. Frantically, she unfastened her pants, somehow got them down around her ankles. She couldn't wait. Blindly reaching into the drawer, she pulled out the first wand that she touched, flicked it on, and rammed it home. The orgasm was so intense that her legs turned to butter. Gripping the wand with one hand and the edge of the dresser with the other, she slowly sank to the floor. Tuesday evening couldn't come fast enough. . . . . Sarah had left, her parting comment a warning that he needed to be in the lobby at 6:15, or she would leave without him. Ian had mutely watched her go, dreading the emptiness of an apartment that had never really felt like home until Sarah had stumbled into his life. He felt drained, physically and emotionally. He was hungry, but wasn't up to the task of fixing a proper meal. He settled for a peanut butter sandwich, washed it down with a beer, and checked his diaper. A change was in order, but he shrugged it off. Still wearing the onesie that was his only proper clothing on the ride home, he fell into bed, and then into a deep sleep. Sarah was also exhausted, and so she sat quietly on her sofa, frequently glancing up, increasingly worried that she could not hear Ian moving around above her. She wanted to go to him, but her anger was real, and it strengthened her resolve. Eight years earlier, she had failed her patients, and in the process failed herself. She had run away, only to come full circle, falling in love with a man haunted by the same memories that had scared her off back … it seemed a lifetime ago. But Sarah was done running; this was her war, and she was going to win it. She demanded obedience and she demanded loyalty, in return for which she offered otherwise unconditional love. She was absolutely certain that it was this combination, and only this combination, that could win Ian's trust, without which it would never be possible to break down the wall that separated them. She had told Ian the truth: he and he alone could vanquish the demons that he had brought home from Asia, but she would be there to get him through it, and in the aftermath they would build a new life together. . . . . It was early Monday morning, dawn in the far north still more than an hour away, when Ian got into the car. He didn't know what to say … more than that, he didn't know if there was anything to say. “How's your diaper,” Sarah suddenly blurted out, filling the silence as the defroster continued slowly to melt the ice on her windshield. “Sagging,” Ian admitted, his voice little more than a whisper. “I missed you,” he added, “last night … this morning … and I'm so sorry that I made you angry. I love you so much, and I just can't seem to get anything right.” “So, is this apology your roundabout way of saying that you've changed your mind about spending Thanksgiving with my family?” Ian sadly shook his head. “No, Sarah, it isn't. Oh, I see what you mean about the party, so I'll think of some excuse to beg off on Thursday, and from here on out you'll have the first and the final world on our social life. But I'm not going to cancel my classes. Even if the students all fail to show, I'll still be there.” “So, what, then? Are you going to spend the whole weekend alone in your apartment? Just sit around for four days, drowning your sorrows in beer? God, give me strength!” Sarah slammed the steering wheel, her anger giving way to frustration. “I won't have it,” she yelled, turning to confront him. “You don't make good decisions, you … you … you can't … you couldn't pin your diaper on right to save your soul! I WON'T HAVE IT, AND DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!” “Sarah, I ...” “NO! YOU SHUT UP, AND YOU LISTEN TO ME!” Sarah took a deep breath, fighting to regain some semblance of calm. “All right … all right … I won't drag you up to Houghton with me against your will, but you are damn well going to get your butt spanked tomorrow night, and then you are going to bed. I'll arrange it with Rita, and you will go to the hospital with her Thursday morning, Friday morning, Saturday, Sunday … she's in charge of the whole seventh floor, and she has to work straight through the weekend. She has involuntary committal hearings next week, the paper work is overwhelming, and she has to get all of her ducks in a row. So, you are going to be a good, little boy, and do whatever she requires of you. You will thank whatever nurse draws the short straw and gets stuck changing your diapers for her consideration, and if she decides to put you down for a nap in one of the pediatric cribs, you will yawn and tell her it's a great idea because you're so tired. Are you hearing me?” “Yes ...” Sarah cut him off. “And there will be no beer this weekend … no alcohol of any kind. I am not going to share my bed with a drunk!” “But we haven't ...” “No, we haven't-- because every time I change your diaper, your dick just lays there. Can you even get it up, Ian? Is it the booze talking, or are you just an impotent twelve month old baby incapable of doing anything that requires more than your fingers and tongue? Because if that's the case, when you are not nursing on my tits you are going to be spending a lot more time on your knees licking my cunt, and in whatever time is left you'll be crawling around on the floor in your widdle diapee and baby pants. If you want to be a baby, rest assured that I am ready, willing and able to accommodate you. Don't think that I'm kidding because, as you are going to discover, everything I need to return you to infancy, and keep you there forever, is behind locked doors on the seventh floor!”

Caution: While this chapter does not go over any lines in my opinion, it does skirt close to issues that may affect some readers. Violence is also contained within this chapter, reader discretion is advised. Chapter 53: Solid THE NEXT WEEK at the daycare passed by without anything significant happening - just more boring time spent pretending to be a helpless baby. In Caireen’s world, I had watched several attempts at breaching the wall. Still, I was proud that nothing Camulus and his forces had tried had even scratched it so far! Our special forces groups had been reinforced with another hundred men. They continued to keep the enemy honest by attacking the rear flank. I figured Camulus had to be getting desperate for a new plan with the reports of his dwindling supplies and deserters. Still, at that point, no apparent changes were made. On my second Tuesday at daycare, I overheard a conversation that Sally and Amy would be out for some state training they had to do. Kate would be reinforced with a couple other workers from other daycare rooms. The glare I got during a diaper change that day was followed with, “So help me if you have a blowout tomorrow…?” I’d just cooed and giggled but wondered if this wasn’t the opportunity that they had been waiting for to get access to me. Through the Bureau, we’d determined that Sally and Amy seemed completely innocent. However, Kate had a sealed juvenile rap sheet that the Bureau had to fight to access. She’d been involved in some drugs and theft by the time she was thirteen and was a runaway who was trafficked as an underage prostitute while she was fourteen and fifteen. Another theft and drug charge had been pled down in exchange for testimony on the traffickers. As a result, if anyone searched her records, she was clean. She had been a victim, and I felt terrible for her, but I had a bad feeling that the abused might have been all the more willing to become the abuser. Hannah had let the Bureau know that we thought something might happen today. Still, since they’d already been on standby, nothing was really different. I was checked in like normal, but Kate placed me in a crib instead of putting me on the floor to play. “Why are you putting her in the crib already?” A girl I hadn’t met before asked. “Oh, I’m supposed to take her to therapy with the therapist in an hour. I figure maybe a nap beforehand will help her out. Can you get a bottle warmed up for her? She can be a real baby about needing it warmed up first!” “That was a terrible pun,” the girl giggled. She seemed to be about Kate’s age. ‘Therapy?’ I asked. ‘I don’t go to therapy…?’ ‘This might be it,’ Caireen agreed with me. Clearly, this all stunk to high heaven, and I began taking inventory of my resources. The weapon I’d been given by Doctor Bolt was effectively in a magical holster only I could get to. The magic lines in this town weren’t quite as strong as around Bechtel, but I had access to a decent smaller vein of manna to use. A bottle was brought over by the new girl who had asked about me, “She’s such an adorable baby! Don’t you just want to take them home with you each day?” “Not that one! She had the blowout of the century last week… Twice! It was soooo disgusting!” The girl picked me up and said, “This cutie? Aww…” she stuck the bottle in my mouth and cradled me in her arms. “She couldn’t help it!” Sensing something was up, I pretended to relax and sleep as I emptied the bottle. The new girl was gentle, and I felt comfortable in her arms. ‘I hope she’s not involved,’ I thought. ‘She’s a lot sweeter than Kate!’ I pretended to sleep for a half-hour before Kate said, “You two are good for a few minutes while I run her to her therapist, right?” “We got this, Kate!” the man said. “Yep, we do better without you anyway!” I intentionally pretended to sleep as she slipped a pacifier into my mouth. I stayed still as she carried me down the hallway. A door was pressed, and I could feel the cold air outside as she left the daycare and went to the next shopping center unit. I bounced a bit with each of her steps and wondered exactly what I was being carried into. Doctor Bolt had used the specs of the videos that had been found as a reference – so I hoped the room would be expected, but I had no clue. Finally, I decided to act like I was waking up a bit and started to fuss. “Shh… It’s okay little one.” Kate cooed at me, “We’ll get this over with soon, and you’ll be back with your mommy. You’ll never even remember this when you’re older!” I looked at her, and then around the room in the new building she passed through. There was a long hallway, and we were soon in a large open workshop with garage doors on one side. One wall was painted with a whimsical nursery background, with a crib and a changing table against it. High-quality cameras sat waiting beside it, and I felt my nerves growing. Several other sections of the space looked like nightmare doctor offices and butcher shops… “Kate! This baby is a great find! How long do we have?” a man innocently dressed in a green polo and tan slacks asked. “She’s in therapy right now, so I’d say an hour?” “You said she’s still not talking, right?” “Just babble and mama, pretty much.” She confirmed and bounced me. “So, where do you want her?” “For her first time, we’ll just do her in the nursery scene.” “You need me?” “Not immediately; we’ll probably do a breastfeeding zoom-in with you once she’s screaming.” I felt Kate shudder underneath me, and I wondered how willingly involved she was. Then, as she sat me down, another man came in, and my stomach clenched when I saw who it was. Maponus was dressed like some sort of innocent father in a shirt and pants. Jacob Wells, his real name, looked me over like I was a piece of meat, and my skin crawled. I wondered if he would figure out who I was, but he said, “Well done, Kate! You found me a fine baby here! This is going to be fun today! We’ll make lots of money!” “Glad you’re happy...” Kate said, some guilt creeping into her voice. “Go ahead and set her down on the changing table. I think we’ll start here… What do you think, Ian?” He asked the other guy. “Sure, we have enough scenes pulling babies out of their cribs. Just getting right into it this time will appease our fans.” I looked around nervously at Kate as she sat me on the changing table. A strap was there, but they didn’t move to use it. “Now, we’re going to call her…. Laney for this.” He said. “That way, your mommy won’t know it’s you!” he said patronizingly. When he pulled out a massive fake phallus, I decided it was about time to move. “We’ll get you all ready to be a big girl here!” “You ready, Ian?” “Three… Two… One… Action…” He said. “Let’s get you something better to suck on that’s better than that pacifier Laney,” He said as he approached me. I heard myself internally decide, ‘Now!’ and went into motion. I activated my shield and used a light spell to temporarily blind the three like a flashbang. Then, in one quick movement, I jumped off the table and away from Maponus. I pulled out my weapon and pointed it at him, “FBI FREEZE!!!!” Ian and Kate seemed to be fully bound by the spell I’d used, but Maponus shrugged his way free of the attack and started laughing. He began to perform a counterspell of his own, and I fired three rounds at him. But, much to my dismay, they just bounced off a shield he had created. Suddenly all of my senses went blank! I couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t smell, couldn’t feel anything! Caireen urged me to launch an expansive attack. I quickly threw up a stone wall in front of me while simultaneously sending a jet of purple energy out in a one-eighty-degree arc. I must have hit him because my senses came back. “Bitch!” he complained. I pulled down my wall and tried a blast directly at him, but he did something to dissipate it. “Who the hell are you?!?!” He screamed as he sent a wave of metal knives at me. I blocked and said, “Emerald Baby at your service,” activated my mental reset button for my appearance, and belatedly put on my costume. He gawked at me, and his voice changed, “You!!!! My father wants you dead!” He renewed his attack by using magic to fling a hundred knives my way! I moved to block them with a wall of stone while sending four small ley lines worth of a blast at him. I missed one of the knives and cried out as it sliced through my upper left arm! “Damnit!” I cried out. I let the wall fall down and saw that he had blocked my spell, but it looked like it had taken out a lot of him. I felt blood on my arm and hoped my healing would start soon! “You should give up now; let me have my fun, and then I’ll put you out of your misery! It’ll be better than my father getting to you.” I felt Caireen’s anger flare up worse than I’d seen, and just before I lost my senses again, she reinforced me as I fired an ice spell at him. My vision began going black again for a second, but it lifted nearly instantaneously. Then, I watched in horror as his limbs became covered in ice crystals. In slow motion, they crept up to his face. As it neared his head, he tried one more attempt to get free. I blasted him with another five shots of my pistol and saw him crumble into glass shards like in the old terminator movie. I hoped I wouldn’t get in trouble for hiding evidence or something. Still, I activated the same fire spell I’d used with Rosemerta to incinerate his body just as the other agents finally decided to show up! “FBI!!!!” They called out. “IT’S ME, EMERALD. I’M AN AGENT, DON’T SHOOT!” I called out. “Holy shit!!! What the hell happened in here?” One of the agents asked. “Did you kill someone?” “Sorry, the suspect, code-named Maponus, refused to go down without a fight,” I said and turned to look up at Kate. She and the other guy Ian were still locked up inside their tendrilled cages. “What happened to these guys?” “Those are my restraints. I’ll remove them if you’re ready to cuff and subdue them.” I watched as three men apiece pointed their rifles at each, while another cuffed them and kicked them to the ground as soon as I released the cages. Finally, I walked over to the man and said, “You are a piece of shit, and I hope you rot in prison. We’ll have to ensure the other inmates know you like babies.” I looked up at the agent holding his arms, “Get this despicable piece of filth out of my face.” Agent Sanders appeared right then, “Agent Emerald, are you okay?” He said nervously, looking at my arm. It was mostly healed, with just a red spot remaining, “He got me good if it took this long to heal!” I said aloud, “I’ll be fine in about ten more minutes. Can you let Agent Emped know to come?” “Already here,” Hannah said, coming in her costume through the door. She moved to pick me up, but I stopped her. “Good, I’ll need you in a minute. Umm… Agent Sanders?” I said. “Yes?” he replied. I motioned for him to move over to the side with me, “Look, I’m pretty sure it’s just Kate, Ian, and Maponus who were involved. But another employee or two could be involved? Can we question Kate somewhere? I think if she was given the right incentive, she’d talk. I have this… feeling that while she’s not innocent, she may not have been involved in this completely of her free will?” He nodded, “We need to use the local PD for their holding cells anyway. I’m sure they’ll lend us a room. Are you doing the questioning?” “With Emped’s help. She’ll be able to help us feel if she’s telling the truth.” “Fair enough,” he looked at me, “The daycare will probably notice her being gone?” “Maybe keep all of the rest of the employees there for now? Call and have the parents pick up their kids? I don’t think there are any other Mergents to worry about.” “Sure as hell, hope not! If this is the damage we expect when you fight? What did you two do in here?” He asked, pointing around at the destruction. The concrete floor was torn apart, and large chunks spread throughout the room. Glass had been blown out of the few windows. The only things still intact were the cameras and pieces of baby furniture. I watched as techs began coming inside to collect evidence. “He didn’t want to come quietly?” I suggested. “Make sure your techs get the footage off the cameras and don’t release that of the fight if you can. Or at least blur my features.” “You didn’t look like yourself at all before.” “I know, but do you want everyone to know you have a secret baby agent?” He nodded, “Okay.” I put my hands up to Hannah, who carried me out to her car. A spare diaper was found, and I was mercifully changed. “You hungry?” She asked. “Starving,” I said, feeling exhausted. “I have some baby food; you want that?” I glared at her, “Can we please just stop at Mcdonald’s? I need three double hamburger meals to make up for that slop I’ve been eating. It’s been torture watching you eat regular food!” “Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad…?” “That chicken? It definitely was! You heard about the blowout from that jar… but let me tell you!” I animatedly began talking for the first time in this world after not quite two weeks of baby babbling. She went through the drive-thru and got my meals. As we pulled up to the PDs parking lot and handed me the food, she said, “Make sure you don’t overeat… I still have these things, you know!” “After the burgers!” “Will you still be hungry?” “Haven’t you been pumping at lunch…?” She sighed, “Okay, burgers first.” She left the car running and jumped into the back seat next to me, and watched me eat the stack of burgers. My small mouth meant I couldn’t eat them that quickly, but I rushed to scarf them down in about fifteen minutes while relishing the return of a full mouth of teeth. When I was done, she grabbed me and put me on her breasts. As I finished her second one, I felt really bloated, “Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that much…?” “If you get sick, you’re going back to eating chicken baby food.” “If you mention that stuff, then I will be sick!” ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thank you for reading! Please press the ‘Like’ Button if you’ve enjoyed it! Comments are always super appreciated as well! Emerald will now be posted on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sundays until it is completely posted. (‘Lights, Camera, …What?!?’ is being posted on Fridays) If you're someone who must finish a good story 'now,' consider purchasing the full book on Amazon Kindle! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTBTTGX1 I will be posting a chapter about every other day until the complete 62 Chapters and the Epilogue are reposted.

Any sufficiently advanced magic is completely indistinguishable from science. That’s just the way it is. Savages will look at a perfectly fine tuned summoning circle or a gate into an extra dimensional first draft of reality itself and suppose that there is some sort of fine tuned and knowable mechanism behind it all that can then be easily replicated and mass produced once sufficiently understood. And that kind of unenlightened attitude is exactly why magic is so rare across the various planes and timelines. It takes a certain level of humility to know that there are forces wiser and greater than mankind out there in the twisting nether and that they have more than a little say in how the universe works. That is a rarity of character that is only compounded when one realizes that in addition to humility a particular flavor of brains, wisdom, and ambition is required to find and wield magic. Like true love, the fabled ‘oneness with the universe’ necessary to find, harness and practice magic is exceedingly rare and requires passion, humility, and hard work over many years. It is so statistically unlikely that the odds of wielding magic with any modicum of skill are less than getting attacked by a shark in the middle of a desert, or lead turning into gold. Yet it does happen. Alexandria and Markus were proof of that. They stood facing each other in their bedroom, smiling bashfully at the foot of their king sized bed. Their clothes from the day’s trials and tribulation lay puddled in the hamper, their skin freshly bathed, and both wore nothing but the nervous grins on their faces. They’d been planning this for weeks purposefully negotiating and whispering their fantasies to each other each night before sleep took them, shooting off ideas and temptations just before drifting off; all while stockpiling arcane energy and scavenging the perfect spells for tonight. Tonight was their anniversary. Better than birthdays which was supposed to be about the celebrant and the celebrant alone, and much better than the half a dozen semi-holy days they shared with an uncountable number of people; tonight was supposed to be all about them. Their own high holy day. Their own cosmic equinox. Their own renewal and replenishment of the mana that was their love for each other. While like any healthy married couple, the duo of magicians had a good sex life, Markus and Alexandria wanted to make tonight particularly special. No experimentation. They weren’t bored with each other; far from it. Rather they wanted to show how much they loved one another by playing each other’s greatest hits. “Ready, Ria?” Markus asked his lovely bride. “Ready, Mark,” She replied, feeling both empowered and oddly stilted by the ritual. There was something about planned sex that both inflamed the passions of imagination while threatening those of spontaneity. But that spontaneity was kept alive with simple anticipation of this evening. Markus gestured over to the bed. “Lady’s first,” he said. Alexandria rolled her eyes and plopped down, spreading her legs ever so slightly for him. Trembling with his own anticipation, Markus walked over to his wife’s nightstand and opened the top drawer. From it he removed a single, solid purple hued adult diaper. There was only one in there, but that was the wonderful thing about magical drawers. There would always be only one in there. And it would always be in his wife’s size. “Butt up,” he instructed as he unfolded the special undergarment and fluffed it for her. She bent her knees and planted her feet flat on the mattress so she could boost her hips up. He slid the diaper underneath her and nodded “Okay” when it was positioned correctly. “Any powder?” he asked. “Mmm-mmm,” Alexandria said, closed lips. “Don’t like the smell.” “Suit yourself,” Markus replied, and he began gently pulling the diaper up and fastening it on one tape at a time. When the last tape was secure he gave the landing zone a final push and was pleased to see the glowing runes reveal themselves. He shuddered at what he’d just done. Now, no one but him could take Alexandria’s diaper off. Not even her. Now it was his turn. He laid down and she rolled over to fetch a similar diaper, though in his size and colored black. The reminder of what he’d done, what she’d just committed to for him, echoed in his mind with every crinkle of Alexandria’s that reached his ears. “Butt up,” she said. He copied her movements and tossed his pelvis towards the ceiling, bridging it until she gave him the okay. He winced when she grabbed his penis and quickly stroked it. “Ria!” he whined. “That’s cheating!” “Sorry,” she said, but she didn’t really mean it. “Just figure I’d tease it while it was out. Powder?” He considered it, but declined. “No thanks.” She hated the smell. He laid there and held his breath while she brought the diaper up. “Penis up, or penis down?” she asked. “Up,” Markus answered without hesitation. His diaper had the exact same spell on it that hers did. If he didn’t put it on, he wouldn’t be able to take it off, and adjusting himself mid coitus as he grew erect would be just this side of wearing a chastity cage. Alexandria must have been thinking the same thing; hence the wink while she adjusted him and then taped his diaper on for him. The runes glowed to life with the fourth and final tape. They were now officially each other’s prisoners, at least when it came to matters of underwear and toileting. Markus sat up drew Alexandria into a tender embrace. “I love you,” he said. “I love you too,” she whispered back. “What now?” They considered the mattress; contemplated getting right to business as it were, crawling beneath the comforter and getting amorous, but it was a fleeting thought. Diaper sex was just no fun while dry. While not uncomfortable, far from it, Makrus felt he would rub himself raw if they started the night’s festivities in earnest; especially without baby powder. “How about we get a drink and watch a movie?” he suggested. Alexandria traced a circle around his nipples and ran her hands down his chest. “I think one of those would be a very good idea. The movie that they started watching wasn’t important. They weren’t even paying attention to it, really. It was a romantic comedy. Something light and airy like hot popcorn. An attractive man falling in love with an attractive woman, both insisting that they weren’t that attractive, or whose lives didn't have time for love when suddenly converging onto one another. It probably had some kind of pithy title; a play on the word love, or perhaps a reference to the general premise or setting in which the romance took place in. ‘Bushes of Love’ or something. If you’d seen one you’d seen them all. It didn’t matter in the slightest to the loving couple. It was really just a more interesting timekeeper than staring at the clock in the kitchen. What was important was how the love birds sat there on the couch, naked save for the diapers they’d just put each other in, cuddled up like teenagers still scared to go past first base. They basked in each other’s presence on the couch. To either side of them was a wine glass drained dry of its contents…twice. Arcadian wine: It was practically grape juice to the Fae Folk and the Children of Twilight. To those with more mortal and tangible constitutions, however, it was incredibly expensive, potent, and rare. Even the incredibly wealthy only broke open a bottle of the stuff on special occasions. They’d just finished the last of theirs. Six months of patience well spent, all things considered. Now it was just the old waiting game while their minds raced ahead of what their bodies would likely do to one another. The delightfully peculiar thing about Arcadian wine is that it was not a proper wine or spirit in the traditional sense. One could guzzle the stuff by the barrel and the room in their stomach was the only limiter to consumption. You would not get drunk on it, your reflexes would not be slowed, nor your senses dimmed nor your speech slurred. Sexual performance certainly wasn’t negatively impacted. No amount of memory loss would occur, you wouldn’t pass out, and there was zero chance of dying from drinking too much. People had died from Arcadian wine, of course, but that was for indirect reasons entirely. Arcadian wine carried none of the physically debilitating effects of alcohol, but a single glass would hit your inhibitions as though it were hundred proof whiskey. People died on Arcadian wine as a direct consequence of acting out what they normally thought were bad ideas. Nothing about the body was impacted but the judgment was just as quashed and the inhibitions just as unburdened. There are scholars who believe that the stuff is responsible for alcohol in general being called “liquid courage” and every other brew is simply a cheap imitation of the original recipe. So the couple drained their glasses twice over, cuddled on the couch, and were waiting for it to fully kick in. Not that they needed courage, but a lack of inhibition certainly helped communication and exploration. It was hard to be embarrassed or worried or hesitate with the stuff of Faerie muddying up your blood. For them Arcadian wine was less ‘Liquid Courage’ and more of a ‘Potent Passion Punch’. The wine from the vines of Faerie had one other thing in common with its more terrestrial variants: Drink enough of it fast enough and the second place it would hit you was your bladder. Both husband and wife felt the powerful twinge in their bladder, aching and begging for the release. It had really gone right through the both of them. Without hesitation, each relaxed and flooded their crinkling undergarments, flashing Mona Lisa smiles to the air and humming lightly while the wetness splashed and spread between their legs causing their diapers to swell and subtly forcing their legs apart. There was no hesitation. No disgust or cognitive dissonance. No thinking about anything other than the warm wet squishiness caressing their skin and not being concerned at all about the source or the hygiene involved. That would all come later if it came at all. “Oh yeah,” Markus whispered. “I’m feelin’ it.” Alexandria leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. “Me too,” she purred. And so without further preamble they began the night’s festivities. There on the couch Alexandria started by swinging her leg over Markus’s lap, straddling him, grabbing the back of his head and shoving her glorious naked tits in his face. Markus felt himself grow hard inside his plastic prison and leaned forward into her, kissing her breasts and running his hands down her shoulders and back while she started to rock and grind into him. Determined to prolong the main event until it was just the right circumstances, Markus grit his teeth and stood up, carrying his lady wife with him, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist and be carried like a child to the nursery rather than a bride to the bedroom. They weren't going to spend their anniversary on the couch. Ria teased him kissing his neck and shoulders while he carried her back into the boudoir, television be damned. They probably wouldn’t remember what the plot was, anyways. There would be neither Netflix, nor ‘chill’ this blissful night. Markus dumped Alexandria back on the bed and rammed himself up against her, the pulpy wet masses taped around their waists colliding with each other while they gyrated and teased one another. Under other circumstances, such absence of penile penetration might be referred to as ‘dry humping’, but given what they were wearing that would be far from accurate. The language of eroticism and romance is so imprecise at the best of times. That’s why they have bards. Mark played with her breasts. Ria clawed at his back. He gave her a love bite on the neck that would last for three days after tonight and she kissed him so deeply and ferociously when she was done she was nibbling on the bottom of his lip. He rolled over and grabbed her hair. She grinned and pulled back, throwing more of her grinding thrusting gyrating weight onto his pulsating excited manhood, with him bucking back, both of them working even harder than usual to compensate for the wet warm barriers between them. Oh how their loins already ached for release! Oh how the simpler, more unrefined parts of their brains wanted to immediately give in and leap over the edge of lust until they were both spent in under five minutes like a pair of jungle cats or a younger inexperienced flings in a cheap hotel the night of junior prom! It was not to be, fortunately. Anniversaries were for better memories than fumbling and rutting around like animals and virgins. Alexandria and Markus were better lovers and better mages than all of that. “Hold on,” she warned, slowing his pace and putting a finger to his lips. She crawled off of him, giving the front of his diaper a playful squeeze, enjoying the feeling of his member through the padding. Markus wiggled and grinned at the touch, but was just a tad impatient. Good. He was riled up enough to be bothered by the pause. “I’ve got a better idea,” Alexandria said, bending over to grab something from under the bed. It was time for her first surprise. “What are you doing?” Markus asked, deeply curious and wanting and fighting the urge to keep masturbating right in front of her. Out from under the bed Alexandria pulled a linked pair of cuffs, each cuff sparkling with engrained enchantments. It had been a while since they’d used this toy, but she remembered how much he’d enjoyed it. “Paddle,” she said. A nova of light flashed out from the dangling restraints, and after the spots had cleared from the couple’s eyes, in her hand rested a firm spanking paddle. “Off and bend over,” Alexandria commanded. Markus was only too happy to obey, shimmying down off the bed and then splaying himself face down on the mattress. “Safeword is tofu,” she reminded him. “Tofu,” he repeated. Some people used colors for their safewords, others had more specific words; spells and incantations that prevented any and all harm. Mark and Ria chose ‘tofu’ because there was ironically no organic way to work it into any conversation, sex play or otherwise, and so it rang out to the ears and was easy to remember. Speaking of ringing out… WHACK! “FUCK!” The piece of wood, long hard rectangular wood (or rather an incredible facsimile of the stuff) collided full on with Markus’s padded backside. Whether by an extra enchantment, or that she was just that damn good at swinging it, the paddle sailed deceptively fast through the air and stung like all get-out. Those eight years of girl’s softball from highschool through college had only been a start, but they’d been a very good start. “You know I don’t give warm-up swings,” his wife reminded him. WHACK! WHACK! “And that extra one was for swearing,” she said. “Now Count!” Even with the extra cushioning of his padded underwear, Markus winced and squirmed beneath his wife’s gaze. With the hot stinging on his thighs reminding him just how intense his lady love could be, Markus was regretting that the bedroom lights were still on and that they cast the perfect shadow of Alexandria’s silhouette, paddle in her grip. He might as well be looking into a mirror. He closed his eyes and braced himself. “One…” WHACK! “Don’t close your eyes.” How did she know?! He opened them in time to watch the shadow puppet on the wall make its next delightfully painful stroke. WHACK! “Two!” he yelped. His head was already starting to buzz as the pain endorphins flooded his brain. What a rush. WHACK! “Threeeee!” His vision spun and he squealed. He was so thankful that he was wearing the diaper at that moment. It was doing more work than just keeping the bed dry. He felt her weight on the bed as she sidled up to him, reaching her arm over and grabbing his hips and hugging him to her for added control and leverage. “Smaller,” Ria whispered to the paddle. Another flash of light and the big slobber knocker had shrunken itself down to a more manageable one handed model. Uh oh. WHACK WHACK WHACK! Left, right, left! Alexandria bypassed the padding completely and went straight for the backs of her husband’s thighs. He started sweating bullets, just imagining how he’d likely wince sitting down, tomorrow, but was thankful that any resulting bruises would easily be covered up by pants. “Three-four-five-six!” he screamed out rapid fire. WHACK! Right on the right thigh and it was somehow harder than the previous five strokes. “No,” she said, “THAT was six. Do we need to start over? Did baby forget how to count? Does he need a new lesson?” He gulped. Yes? No? He didn’t know if he could last another six strokes like that. More to the point, if she started over once, she’d start over again. It was intoxicatingly maddening. Being taunted and talked down to, pulling his psyche into a stinging morass of sub and little space. She really had his number. Perhaps that’s what love was. “No. No start over,” he said. “Please no start over.” He was breathing so hard that it was getting difficult to form a coherent sentence. WHACK! That one thankfully, came down squarely on his bottom. The diaper absorbed most of the impact but he still felt it. “Tofu?” she asked. “Tofu.” “Okay,” he could hear the smile in her voice. “I’ve got another idea.” He felt her fingers worm their way into the back of his diaper’s waistband. Oh no, and yet, oh yes! He hadn’t considered the full ramifications of the spell! “Let me give your thighs a break.” She was the only one who could take off his diaper, but nothing about the built in enchantments said that it had to be with her undoing the tapes! His pulse quickened as she grabbed the back of his diaper and hiked it down to just above his knees. Instinctively he tried to squirm and get up, but it was a simple thing for her to throw her weight down on his back and use the leverage against him. “What are you doing?” he asked, excited and slightly afraid at what the answer might be.. “You’ll feel it,” she teased. “Trust me.” Then he heard her command, “Open!” “Open?” he echoed, confused. But she wasn’t talking to him. The top dresser drawer rattled, and through the shadows on the wall, he could make out her placing the paddle down so that two cylindrical shaped objects could shoot out and land squarely in the palm of her hand. An airy popping sound registered in Markus’s ears, pressure release and air wishing out of the container like soda gushing out of a half full two liter. Then he heard his wife repeat herself. “Open,” she said. Curiously, nothing rattled or reacted. Then he felt her finger plunge inside of him. This time, Alexandria actually was talking to him! Markus’s eyes bulged in surprise and she went deeper and deeper into his anus. What was happening? Surely her fingers couldn’t be that long, could it? It had to be his imagination multiplying the sensation by the surprise! He let out a brief exhale when she pulled her finger out, but the relief was short lived as a self-lubricating plug took the place of her digits. “That should keep it in long enough,” Alexandria tutted. That hit home! The first cylindrical object had been a pill bottle, no doubt. “You put something inside me?” FWAP! A bare handed smack on his exposed rear was the response Markus got, both stimulating his pain receptors, flooding his brain with more endorphins and pumping the plug into him ever so slightly. “SEVEN!” he yelled, clenching his teeth and refusing to blink even while her hand gently caressed his bottom. “Very good. You didn’t lose count,” she cooed. FWAP! FWAP! “Eight-nine!” Instead of spanking further, she started to gently massage his buttocks, kneading at the muscles much in the way a cat gets comfortable on a fluffy pillow. The contrast and relief made him growl out in lust. He could feel something dissolving inside of him. Something powerful. And potent. And completely, mindnumblingly arousing. FWAP! “Ten!” Markus’s already erect penis felt like it was vibrating; pulsating like the top layer of Vesuvius minutes before destroying Pompei. FWAP! FWAP! FWAP! “Ten! Ten! Ten!” He’d lost count and was too focused trying to maintain some scrap of control. “Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten!” Impotently he kicked the air as she smacked and slapped his buttocks, each impact seeming to push the, potent concoction even deeper inside him while he quietly foamed at the mouth. “TEEEEEEEN!” FWAP! He was going to do it. He was going to cum. He was going to lose all control all over the nice satin bed sheets! “Tofu!” He yelled. “Tofu! Pull my diaper up. Please!” Alexandria needed no second plea. “Okay, hon,” she whispered. “Okay. Hold on.” Quickly yet gently, she took her weight off him. The potent aphrodisiac had had enough time to melt away and do its work, so she spared a millisecond to remove the plug keeping it in just before she yanked the now cooled but still soaked padding back up over her husband’s hips, providing a safety barrier between his manhood and the mattress. He dived back down face first like a champion prizefighter that had been paid off by the mob. “Now!” He told her. “Now!” Again, she did not need a second request. Her bare hand thudded with sturdy plastic backing. THUNK! And that last concussive force was enough to send him hurtling over the edge into full orgasmic pleasure. Everything shook as the dam broke and he helplessly came into the front of his diaper, his penis tickling and tingling with ecstacy. If his body hadn’t been so wracked with exhaustive pleasure, he might have started humping the mattress like a puppy and thank her for the privilege. For her part, Alexandria simply took her spot beside him and gently caressed his back while he spasmed all the way to the carpet, practically melting off the mattress and lying on his back while his base bodily functions spiraled delightfully out of control. The intensity was such that if they hadn’t done this so many times before, one might assume that it was their first. “Thank you,” he gasped, panting as the last of his seed leaked out into the sopping wet padding, his cock pulsing and throbbing in time with his pulse. “Thank you. Oh gods. Thank you!” “Welcome,” she chirped smugly. “Very welcome. Now what abooooou-?” The thought lay unfinished as the moment Markus caught his breath, he pounced on her. Holding her down, pinning her by the wrists, he scrambled on top of her, putting just enough of his weight over her so that no matter how hard she struggled or kicked and squirmed around, she couldn’t get free. “No…hrrnnn…fair!” Alexandria grunted, trying to escape his grasp, failing, and loving every moment of it. Now it was her turn to be teased and restrained. Now it was her turn to be selfish. Her turn, as some call it, to ‘brat’. “No…fair, Mark!” Markus slowed his breathing, taking back control and thoroughly enjoying it, but not as much as the wild and anticipatory look on his wife’s face. “How is it not fair, Ria?” he asked tauntingly. “Because you’re not winning anymore?” Neither had known they were playing some kind of game with winners or losers until the idea had sprung forth from his mouth. Funny that. But now that it had happened, it sounded like good fun and both started slipping into their roles. “Seems like you already won,” Ria taunted from underneath him. “You already finished.” A playful fire lit up between her husband’s eyes. “Not with you, I’m not.’ “What are you gonna do?” she whispered seductively. “Go for twosies? Try to grind through both of our diapers and lap me? Or are you gonna take mine off and cheat?” She waited for the idea to sink in and take root. “If you beg me nice, Mark, I’ll take yours off and I’ll let you play with yourself while I watch.” It was a challenge. A tempting one at that. But he wanted to play a different game. He straddled Alexandria and forced her wrists together. He leaned back, putting more of his weight on her abdomen, enjoying the now muted crinkle and the wet squish beneath him. Using one hand, he leaned forward and kept both of her wrists out of the way. Then like the mighty god Thor, he held his free hand out and spoke. “Come.” Just as it had with her, the charm inside the implement responded to his voice command and leapt up from the carpet, depositing itself safely into his palm. “I thought you already did,” Ria joked. He gave her nothing but the terrible, lustful hunger, the hunger to see her squirm and writhe; begging him for something he would not give. Arcadian wine had that effect on him. She wasn’t much for spankings, but she did love the sound they made and the sting of the paddle on her thighs could be most pleasant when done right. “Whatcha gonna do?” Alexandria asked, “Flip me over and give me a taste of my own medicine?” It was half a question and half a hint. Her husband answered, but did not take the hint. He had better plans. Squeezing the handle and with intent, he spoke not to her but to the item in his hand. “Wand,” he said. “Vibrating.” The same white hot aura erupted from the paddle and when the corona had faded, the diapered man now wielded a rapidly shaking rod where the still yet flat paddle had been. Alexandria’s eyes widened in delight and horror. “You wouldn’t dare!” “Wouldn’t I?” Before she could retort, he swung his leg back off of her abdomen while still keeping her wrists pinned, staying to her side and profile. And like Captain Ahab stabbing from the depths of Hell, he thrust the vibrating wand straight on between her legs, its shaking resonating all the way through the layers and layers of soaked pulp and padding, causing her to start breathing in quiet little gasps. She’d stopped kicking. She’d stopped struggling all together, for in truth, she wanted this. The pinned wrists were all for show. She reveled in the intensity of the wand pleasuring her without her direct say so. And ever so tauntingly, she gasped and let out little mewling growls while he moved the wand back and forth over her padded crotch, staying in just the right spot long enough to please her before purposefully moving it somewhere else. He smiled while she planted her bare feet and gently started bucking and grinding into the wand, her pelvis thrusting and moving into it and with it; a puppy dog hungry for her treat. “Ooooooooh,” Alexandria moaned. “Ooooooooooooh. Marrrrrrrk. Mark. Mark!” He did not join her, though he knew she would have loved him to; to hear his voice mix and mingle with hers; losing all control and composure. It wasn’t time for that. Not yet. Instead, he prepared the most gruesome of incantations he’d learned. “Esto sicut virgo ante noctem nuptiarum.” The vibrating of his wand continued, unabated. Ria’s moaning did not. Her eyes, which had drooped pleasantly closed, shot open. “What did you?” she asked. The only thing that was wet between her legs suddenly was her diaper. “You talked about lapping, my love, but I need more time to recover.” An almost playfully cruel smile sprouted. “So I just started you over.” ‘Nooooooo!” she screamed, kicking and struggling once more. Her wrists broke free of his grip and she bounded the mattress by her side in frustration. He pressed the wand back into her sex, just enough to tease her so that she gripped the bedsheets in frustration and ecstacy. Then he pulled the wand away. Just pulled it. Left it buzzing and dangled the handle by his thumb and forefinger high up above her. “No-o-o-o-o-oooooo!” Ria whined and pawed at it like a kitten. The whining lasted only a few seconds as horniness and impatience got the better of her. Her arms plummeted downward towards the waistband of her diaper, with fingers desperately peeling away the tapes. The runes on the landing zone held firm and so did the tapes. The spell was intact. She did not put the diaper on, so she could not take it off. Still, Markus thought, it was cute watching her try, watching her struggle. Watching her fail to so much as get her fingers down past the waistband. She knew better, of course, but part of their play was desperation and helplessness, and he was only too happy to help her along. Wand hidden behind his back, out of reach, Markus took his free hand and started teasing her nipples; gently caressing them one at a time, and then adding in little pinches until they became hard and erect. Lovingly, Markus leaned over and used his mouth to suckle at one teat while he used his free hand to tease and pinch the other even harder. Meanwhile, Ria’s hands feverishly pawed at the front of her diaper, rubbing and grinding while her hips boosted up again and again and again into her own palms, huffing for release that wasn’t quick to come. Markus waited until her moaning renewed and approached apex and then stopped sucking. “ESTO SICUT VIRGO-!” “No!” she yelped. “No. Not again! Not again! Tofu!” She kept rubbing herself, trying to finish before he could complete the spell a second time. “Beg me,” he hissed. “Beg me to let you finish.” “Pleeeeeease let me finish,” Alexandria pleaded. “Please!” Markus waited until her hands stopped. “No,” he growled and watched her face drop. “I’ll do it myself.” He plunged the wand back where it belonged, sending her into shrieks of delight. She gave up trying to resist and started screaming as she repurposed her hands into teasing her nipples until she was bucking now. “OH! OH! OOOOOOOOOOOH!” And then a pleased sigh as the last of the air leaked out of her lungs. He watched with utter love and satisfaction as she went limp. “Off,” he whispered to the toy, making it still. He tossed it to the side, not taking his eyes off her, but was still wonderfully caught off guard when she leapt up and wrapped her arms around him, peppering him with kisses and dragging him down to the mattress with all his weight. “Thank you,” she panted. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…” In the moment, there was nothing left to do but to pepper back with a thousand more sweet kisses until they were both still and warming each other with nothing but their bodies. Time stretched out in the silence of their bedroom; their heartbeats in sync, making beautiful music together. Okay. Time to clean up. Gently, he pried her arms off of him, disentangling himself and nudging her head off of his chest. Like getting a particularly comfortable cat out of one’s lap, it was more difficult than it might seem from the outside, with her moaning and whining for his flesh on hers in their post coital daze. Arcadian wine tended to have that effect on her. “Come on,” he coaxed. “Come on. Let’s get cleaned up.” Several rapid kisses and cupping her left breast in his hand got her to open up like a flower for him. Standing up from the bed, he arched his back and groaned, feeling the full sagging weight of the diaper between his legs now that a good chunk of the abused pulp had broken off and settled at the bottom. Standing at her bedside, he looked to the left towards their shared chest of drawers to the right towards her nightstand. “Diapers or panties?” he asked, his voice registering just above a whisper. Eyes still closed, she inhaled through her nose and exhaled in a light purring hum. “Diapers, please.” She couldn’t see it, but he was smiling. Good. He’d wanted to properly change her. Even if they didn’t go any further than they already had, even if they just cuddled in bed the rest of the night as they drifted off, there was something that made it feel so much more intimate when they were both padded up. He opened up her nightstand drawer and got out another diaper for his beloved. “Scooch over to the side?” he asked as he fluffed the new garment out. Her eyes remained closed. “Mm-mm,” she said. “No.” It was a cute, playful squeak. She was far too comfortable laying spread eagle in the middle of the mattress. He shook his head and smiled. “Fine. Have it your way, love.” He climbed back into bed and knelt between her thighs so he could start changing her. The runes on the landing zone glowed bright white at his touch, sensing it was him. He skillfully peeled back the tapes so that barely a sound was made and opened the sodden padding. She shuddered as the fresh hair swooped in on her genitals like an aftershock. But she kept her eyes closed still, luxuriating in the cool clean feeling of his touch as he gently wiped her down. “Knees up,” he instructed, and reluctantly, she obeyed, retracting and pulling her knees all the way to her belly button so that she didn’t accidentally clock him upside the head with the heel of her foot. She shuddered again as he gently swept his hands over her buttocks and hole. A little boost below let him leverage her hips up enough to slip the used diaper out and slide it off to the side and slide the fresh one beneath her. “No powder please,” she said, still in a post orgasmic haze. He took a moment to ball up her used diaper and place it in a nearby lidded garbage can. “I know,” he smiled. “We’re out of unscented…” She finished the thought. “And I hate the smell.” “Guess I’ll have to find another way to dry you out,” he teased, taking his position back between her legs. In truth, she was probably already dry enough to be sealed in. The residue from baby wipes tended to air dry quickly enough. Still, he took the time to gently blow upon her mound and on her lower lips, tickling her with the very air from his lungs. “Ooooh,” she moaned. “If you’re trying to dry me out,” she said breathily, “You’re doing a bad job.” He simply said, “I know.” And finished rediapering her, pulling the garment snugly up between her thighs and locking her in tape by tape by tape by tape. A slight glow and a humming tone that only she could hear, and once again, she was his prisoner, and he hers. Freshly changed and feeling renewed now that her nethers had been so lovingly cleaned and dried, she gazed softly up at him from the bed, bending her knees “Happy Anniversary, dear,” he gave her an almost (almost) chaste peck on the lips. She opened her eyes, sat up, and grabbed the back of his head. Her tongue probed into his mouth once more, a low moan humming through her while she reached between his legs and groped at the soggy padding he yet wore. Almost immediately, she felt his manhood stiffen and begin to throb through the padding. Kiss unbroken, she rolled him over onto his back, before finally allowing herself to come back up for air. “Happy Anniversary, Mark.” She returned the delicate kiss. “I love you.” “I love you too, Ria” “Wanna go again?” Beads of anticipation formed on his forehead. “Yeah,” he panted. “Yeah, I really do.” She took one of his spare diapers out of his nightstand drawer and started to fluff it. “Me, too. Let’s get you changed, hydrate, and then see where things take us. Deal?” Unblinkingly, he gazed up at her while she undid the tapes, his mind filled only with love. “Deal.” In any sufficiently advanced enough relationship, purest love is indistinguishable from the most tainted of lusts.

Chapter 94: Naked Truths Most of Friday was boring. Beouf didn’t show up to school again. Zoge said that Beouf’s actual factual grandbaby was still sick. Bullshit. Beouf was scared of us and how we were destroying her morale and I let everyone who was worth letting listen to me know about it. So our class was well behaved that day. Zoge even thanked us as a group before she led us out to the bus loop that afternoon. Monday would be a new battlefield, however. Mel didn’t have infinite sick days. She’d have to come back. I’ be waiting On the bright side, from what few glances I glimpsed of Tracy that day, she seemed more at ease. Not less cautious, or less focused; just that something in her could see some sort of finish line at the end of the race. There had to be more than I knew going on, but I felt that she was winning. She had the weekend to look forward to; a luxury I’d lacked. It made Friday a lot better for me. It wouldn’t make Beouf’s life any better, however. I was positive she’d had nothing to do with any mercy or respite my Tweener friend found. Friday night, I sat in warm bathwater in the middle of the tub. Janet had insisted on pouring bubbles into the mix while water was cascading into the basin. “Bubbles are soap too,” she insisted. “I won’t have to wash you as much if you just soak in them.” “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.” That was good enough for her. She stripped me down out of that day’s romper on the bathroom counter while the tub filled up. Ironically it reminded me of that scene in GhostHaunter’s Two where the bubble bath turns into a massive blob and tries to snatch up the Little right as his Mommy is getting him undressed. Life imitating art as it were. No bath monster this time. Janet stripped me and plopped my naked body down into the rising tide of suds. Being naked was becoming strange to me; not alien but foreign if that makes sense. There was a time when in my own home I didn’t have to particularly pay attention to my nakedness. Cassie and I could have walked around our house bare assed all day if we’d wanted to. That kind of freedom was an unexpected benefit of being a homeowner and an adult. Privacy meant that I could determine how much or how little I covered myself while in my own house. I wasn’t in my own house anymore, I had to remind myself. My old house didn’t exist anymore. I was in Janet’s house, and I had no privacy whatsoever. I was naked from the waist down four to six times a day and almost always covered in something vile when it happened. I was naked from the waist up only when someone bigger, stronger, and faster than me deemed it permissible or convenient, and I was completely naked only once a day (and sometimes not even once a day). That bit of ‘freedom’ was always measured against factors like how much hot water was left and how close it was to my assigned bedtime. Obviously, I was never alone when I was unclothed. My time unsupervised in Janet’s home felt directly inverse to how much clothing and freedom of movement I was allowed. Janet bunched up my school clothes and tossed the wet diaper into the wastebasket next to the toilet. I caught myself looking at the porcelain throne with its seat up and wondering if I could still muscle myself up to the rim and use it. I’d had a stool to climb for this very purpose back in the good old days. Could I handle having a full bladder, still? The only consistent time I had one was in the middle of the night or just before sunrise when the need to pee woke me up from a dreamless groggy slumber. ‘Wee hours of the morning’ had taken on a much more literal meaning to me. I shook that fantasy out of my head. I wasn’t unpotty trained, yet. I wasn’t like Billy and Annie and Chaz who could just go in their pants without a second thought and move on. I wasn’t like Mandy who sometimes whispered the words to herself while she was doing it, or Tommy who could tromp around a playground with his backend loaded and not care as long as he got to play for an extra ten minutes. I wasn’t sure if Sandra Lynn or Ivy noticed anymore. At least everybody outside of those two asked to be changed, occasionally. From the tub, I observed Janet dig a fluffy white towel out of the bathroom linen closet and put it on the counter where she’d just undressed me. I couldn’t make out the tune, but she was definitely humming something to herself. She was getting less and less quiet again; comfortable. Too comfortable. A cry session with Beof, me asking for a bottle, and choosing to pull a few punches by focusing righteous anger elsewhere was healing her up. Communing with her fellow piecemeal parents, with Beouf to reinforce things, probably improved her attitude, too. Not great. Not typical, but not great. None of my work was undone, per se. I wasn’t starting back from square one and my ex-friend was still twice shy now that she’d been bitten a couple of times. She just didn’t seem particularly unhappy and it bothered me and it didn’t bother me at the same time. And THAT bothered me that it didn’t JUST bother me. Emotions are complicated. “Do you want a rubber ducky?” Janet asked In reply I gathered bubble suds around me to act as a screen and glared at her. Bitch knew better. “I just noticed that you like to squeeze Lion a lot and was thinking you might want to squeeze something else since you can’t bring him in the tubby.” I bit into my tongue to keep myself from growling. Leave it to an Amazon to see a stress response and completely infantilize it. If I’d been a wall puncher she’d probably buy me one of those inflatable clowns that never fell down. Actually, that might be kind of cool… “Same with your pacifier so you don’t have to get a sudzy thumb or chew on your tongue…” I unclenched my jaw and gave the sides of my tongue a break. How did she always know? She plunged her arm into the warm bath water and swished around a washcloth. She’d already changed out of her work clothes before dinner and into a more casual gray T-shirt and blue jeans. The short sleeves of her shirt were rolled all the way up to her shoulders that she could dunk her arms in without getting anything else wet. The shirt was an Oakshire Elementary School Spirit t-shirt. The kind that was given out to staff as an optional casual Friday garb and peddled to children around yearbook time so that they had something to show off in the spring and outgrow over the summer. I’d have had a few myself, but I’d always opted out even though it would have been free for me. It would have been a bad idea as a Little teacher to wear anything that the children were also wearing, lest false equivalencies be made. I focused on the shirt and pictured myself having to wear one, despite me not planning on being around long enough for this year’s batch to be on sale. “Please don’t get me one of those shirts,” I blurted out without thinking. Janet sat down on her knees, finished soaping up the washcloth, and took my arm. She glided it over from my wrist all the way up to my shoulder, applying enough pressure that it felt nice. It was gentle massage pressure, not scrub raw pressure. It took a second for my rambling to register with her. She looked down at her chest. “Hm? Why not?” She was so comfortable she’d forgotten what she was wearing. Another luxury I’d lost. I almost always knew what I had or lacked around my body. Impossible snaps and adhesives made it so I had no other choice. “I thought you’d like something like a regular shirt to wear.” “I don’t,” I said flatly. She took my other arm and repeated the process, making sure to get into my armpit and doubling back for the one she’d missed. “Okay. We’ll see.” She dunked the washcloth back in the water and re-soaped it. ‘We’ll see’? Typical answer. Wrong answer! I twisted my torso to the left, leaned the other direction sideways, cupped my hands together, and splashed a comparatively massive amount of water out of the tub and onto the front of Janet’s school t-shirt. WHUUUUSH! Janet gasped and looked down at her dripping wet chest. White suds dribbled down her front, the shape and outline of her bra was immediately more visible. Enough of the warm liquid landed in her lap so that if she were a Little, she’d be at risk of someone thinking she’d had an accident. Her jaw dropped, and shocked little “Ah! Ah!” sounds stumbled out of her throat. Bathtime over: Time for bad Little boys to get toweled off and put to an even earlier bed while their Mommies went and cried about it. “You…” she stammered. “You Little brat!” It almost sounded like laughter. I smirked and crossed my arms over my body, daring her to retaliate, positive she wouldn’t. OOOOOOOOOSH! Lightning quick, two giant palms scooped up water and suds on either side of me and cascaded them towards the middle. Two tiny tidal waves rose up and engulfed me, going over my head and practically dunking me despite my body remaining still. I was sputtering soapy water and wiping at my eyes. My now curly ketchup colored hair sagged in my face and over my ears. I must have looked like that cartoon sheepdog who was always having to lift up his hair so that you could see his eyes. “You…” I shrieked. “You splashed me!” I started combing the wet mop back away from my eyes. “You splashed me first,” Janet said. I could barely see, but I could still hear her smile. Was this a fucking game to her?! “But you splashed me!” I blinked away suds and squinted my eyes. Calling baby soap and shampoo ‘tear free’ was a massive case of there being no truth in advertising whatsoever; just below the idea that adult Littles and Amazon babies were functionally the same thing. Janet leaned back in the narrow bathroom and snatched the towel from off the counter. She handed me a corner so I could wipe and dab at my eyes. “What? Mommies can’t roughhouse in the tub with their Little ones?” “No!” I said. “They ca-...That’s not the point, Janet!” “Oh?” she replied. “What is the point, then?” I wanted to wipe the smugness right off her typical Amazon face. I wanted to hurt her again, but this time I wanted her to hurt because she understood; not because she didn’t. And if she didn’t, I wanted to be angry about it. I wanted fuel to scream into the baby monitor that night. “I said that I didn’t want a shirt,” I answered, “and you said ‘we’ll see’, instead of just ‘okay’. I can’t have anything unless you approve!” I felt a meltdown threaten; what Amazons might call a tantrum, and what any sane person would call ‘losing it’. “Well…yeah.” “But you won’t let me have anything that wasn’t your idea first!” I accused her. “You won’t even just let me not wear a stupid t-shirt that you haven’t even bought yet unless I throw a tantrum about it!” I pulled my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I was turning back into a protective ball. “Now you’re probably thinking about getting me one so that I’ll see that it’s not so bad or something! I don’t get choices that you don’t think of first! I shouldn’t have even said anything and just let you wash me.” That last part I said quietly, as if to myself, but I wanted Janet to hear it. “Clark that’s not f…!” Janet stopped. A dawning realization entered her eyes. Her mouth wiggled but no sound came out. Her nostrils flared and she huffed. Her eyes were closed when she found the words. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry baby.” “I’m not a baby!” The acoustics of the bathroom made my impulse screaming sound even louder than usual. She brought her hand up to her cheek, and opened her eyes. “Not what I meant. Sorry. Really sorry. Just…sorry. You’re right. You’re right. Sorry. That’s… Sorry. How can I make it up to you?”` An open ended apology? That was a rare delicacy indeed. “I don’t know.” “Do you want to splash me again and I not splash you back?” Yes. But also no. “I don’t know.” “I’m not going to dress you up in that shirt or that onesie I got for your baby shower. Do you want me to let you try washing yourself tonight?” Yes. Desperately. “I don’t know.” “Do you want me to wear something embarrassing this weekend? We’ve got a doctor’s checkup and shopping to do. Everyone could see me and laugh. Would that be fair?” That would be fantastic! I hated it! She was supposed to be fighting back! Why wasn’t she fighting back?! “I don’t know.” I kept sulking. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Why do I still have to make a choice right now?” “You don’t,” she promised. “I’m just….” She bit her lip and looked away so she wasn’t staring at me. “Let’s finish your bath and come back to this. The bubbles in the water should be good enough. Do you want out of the tub now? Or do you want me to keep washing you? Or do you want me to leave you alone in the tub? I’m not going to leave you alone, but I can stand in the doorway and look at my phone. Give you time to soak. Or any other options you can think of…?” She was trying. Goddamnit she was really trying. That was what made her so frustrating to deal with. In some ways I would have had an easier time with someone like Forrest or Ambrose as my Mommy. You could always know where you stood with the intentionally cruel ones. I just couldn’t stand it I unclenched my limbs and unwound myself from the ball. “I just…” Admitting that anything about my current life was enjoyable was it’s own kind of torture. “Wash me. Rub my back and shoulders and arms and stuff.” I felt awkward. Really awkward. “Please.” I could have sworn I saw her eyes get misty. “Okay. Sure. That’s a start.” But the threat of tears didn’t last. What followed was as close to a spa day as I could remember. Tense muscles were gently massaged while the skin was cleansed. Quiet instructions and warnings were given about where she’d touch me next, including embarrassing sensitive areas that weren’t normally given any such courtesy when I was only half-naked and lying down. No humming of lullabies, or motherly mentioning about ‘filth behind my ears’ or a ‘dirt ring around my neck’ that I’d accumulated on the playground that afternoon. No talk of a light rash that might be coming back because the substitute had next to no sense of smell and Zoge was almost constantly on diaper duty with a long queue during the most inconvenient times. Janet gave gentle, yet concerned hums that coincided when she likely observed these things, or so I assumed. Commands like “stand up please, I want to wash your legs and penis,” happened. “Turn around so I can clean your back and bottom. Thank you.” I went with it and just did my best not to feel too much in the particularly sensitive areas. No smiling or moaning when a damp but warm washcloth gingerly pressed up against my nethers. No wincing when that same cloth was rinsed and dabbed between my cheeks, or me hissing through my teeth because yes, it did somehow feel like I was developing a mild sunburn in places where the sun never shined. “Okay. You can sit down. I’d like to wash your hair, too.” After her fingers massaged my scalp for an unnecessary (but pleasurable) amount of time, she turned the faucet back on and filled up a rinse cup. “Close your eyes in three…two…one!” The clean water fell over me in one big spout. None of these things were completely novel since my Adoption, but for once I took the time to catalog them and actually appreciate them somewhat. I’d hate myself for noticing later, I was sure. In the moment it was alright. “I think you need a haircut soon,” Janet said. “Curls are just getting tangled.” Surprisingly she included, “And tiny bits of white and gray are showing up again. Let me know when you want to go to the salon and we will. Maybe after school sometime this week…?” The warm, lavender scented water and the modicum of respect I was being given made me feel slightly drunk. “What if I want to keep the grays?” “Nobody wants to keep the grays.” “What if I want to?” I watched her bite her lip again and her eyes darted back and forth in conversation with herself. “That’s something I’d like to talk about, then.” That was the most honest answer that the crazy giantess could have given and have me still believe her. “Alright,” I said. “Later.” I touched my hair and moved the red clumps of hair on my forehead into my periphery. Stupidly, I knew none of them would look gray at the tips, but I looked anyway. A guy could hope though. “Ready to get out?” she asked. Her voice was still slightly on eggshells, right where it belonged. Not too baby crazy, not too walled off. “Yeah.” She hoisted me out and wrapped the towel around me. The terrible impulse of running away just to inconvenience her jolted into me. I knew how that would look to her, however. Plenty of kids couldn’t stand still long enough to get toweled off. Just because Amazons saw Little behavior how they wanted to see it, didn’t mean I had to take uncalculated risks. The urge was there,I’ll admit. It didn’t feel right unless we were fighting. There were no surprises for me when I was laid out on the nursery’s changing table, creamed, powdered, and stuffed into a particularly thick nighttime Monkeez. I was surprised when Janet asked, “Is there anything you want to wear for jammies tonight?” I eyed her suspiciously. “This doesn’t count for the shirt thing.” “Nothing.” I said. “I want to wear as little as possible. Diaper only.” I wanted to be buck naked, but I knew I’d only get so far. Like I said, calculated risks. Amazingly, Janet didn’t argue. She barely hesitated. “Okay.” She picked me up and carried me over to the crib by the armpits so that my newly dried body didn’t press up against her soaked t-shirt. “It’s getting cold at night. Let me get you some extra blankets just in case.” She walked to the closet and came out with a thick comforter folded up in her arms. She wasn’t dripping wet, so the comforter was in no real danger. “No swaddling!” I blurted out without thinking. “No swaddling,” she repeated. “Maybe if you’re sick. Or if you just feel you need a really good cuddle. But I don’t think your developmental plateau is at a level where full time swaddling is a thing.” Just like that she went and ruined it. “Not. Funny. Janet.” Her own voice cooled to match mine’s heat. “I wasn’t joking, Clark.” The extra blanket came over the railing. It was a plain beige color that didn’t go with any of the childish bed sheets that regularly decorated my crib. It kind of reminded me of the sheets that used to be on me and Cassie’s bed. It certainly didn’t compliment the teddy bears on a playground fitted sheet around my mattress that night. “Lay down. Let me tuck you in.” I obeyed, never breaking my gaze off of her as she leaned over to pull sheets and blankets over my almost naked form. Speaking of form, with the t-shirt still clinging to her, I could see more of Janet’s figure. She tended to prefer flattering, but not overly tight outfits; only skimpy by the standards of centuries past, but not the sexless smocks that Ambrose endorsed and forced Tracy into. I felt my eyes drawn to the near perfect outline of Janet’s chest, the points of her nipples concealed by her bra, and felt something. It hadn’t yet been a full report card since I’d been adopted, but that’s a long time to go without certain thoughts. None of the girls in my class were even allowed to wear bras, and there were far too many opportunities for me to see someone’s bare ass or junk on any given day. Be that as it may, certain uncomfortable thoughts were whispering in the back of my brain, even if the whispers weren’t fully formed. Certain questions combined with observations I’d taken for granted came burbling forth; a literal thought from my own stream of consciousness. “Mo…?” No. This was a sincere question, so I had to address her sincerely. “Janet?” I said. “Why are you always wearing clothes around me?” Janet stood back up, but kept her hands on the railing. “Why wouldn’t I?” I wriggled so that my arms could be over the heavy blankets. “Just…I dunno. You see me naked all the time. Every day. I think I’ve seen you without a top in just your bra…once, maybe?” I expected some bit of embarrassment or blush or revulsion or discomfort from my captor. None of that happened. Curiosity was simply met with curiosity. “Why do you want to see me naked?” “I don’t,” I said. “Not necessarily.” I was doing my best to manage myself and not let any number of unhelpful emotions color my train of thought. “I’m just curious. Like, you’ve handed me off so you can go to the bathroom, but held me till I peed.” “That was a mistake with Forrest,” Janet said. “I’ve been going before I pick you up from the buses or holding it till we get home. You know that.” “Yeah. But like…why? Why do you and everybody else get to see me like this all the time?” “I don’t want to say something that will upset you, Clark. I think you know the reason.” Fatigue and a small amount of goodwill she’d just earned kept the talk from devolving. The fact that I didn’t have school the next day gave her patience, too. I could delay bedtime and genuinely probe into typical crazy for bonus points. “I guess that’s not what I’m trying to ask. I know where you stand on that.” “Hm…” Janet seemed to take my response in stride. I’d given a diplomatic answer over a defiant or submissive one, and she’d picked up on it. “Is it me that needs to be naked or every other Grown-Up that loves you? Mrs. Zoge and Mrs. B?” My brain buzzed with equal parts admiration and indignation at that question. So much to unpack in that sentence and so many assumptions for me to unsuccessfully attempt to dismantle. I could either take the bait on the implications and derail where my brain wanted to go, or I could not acknowledge the implications- thus giving credit to them- and steer the conversation further. Also…Zoge and Beouf naked were things I could have died happy not visualizing. “I don’t expect to see a teacher or a doctor or whatever naked,” I said. “That’s not their job.” “But it’s mine?” “No!” This was harder than I thought. I was getting flustered and frustrated. “I hhhh….” I inhaled, kind of glad that the easiest way for me to verbally shoot myself in the foot wasn’t available to me. I picked up my head just so I could slam the back of it against the pillow the one time. “I’m a preschool teacher,” I explained. “Early childhood development. And an uncle.” That she didn’t interrupt me or remind me that those were legally past designations was a kindness that I didn’t miss. “I read parenting blogs and research all the time. I don’t know how many parents share way too much information in I.E.P. meetings and teacher conferences because I’ve lost count. Lots of parents go naked around their kids because they’re too young to remember or know the difference. Then they get more strict about clothes because they want to teach modesty and self care. What do I need modesty anymore for?” “You’re not too young to remember,” Janet said. “You know the difference.” She wasn’t getting it. Neither was I. It’s not that I wanted to see my ex-coworker in her underwear anymore than I wanted her to wipe my own ass for me or tote me around on her hip. It’s just that, like the whole Maturosis bullshit and the treatment of Littles, there was something inherently wrong about it beyond the obvious, and it was so ingrained that it was totally and irrevocably typical to the point that everyone, Littles included, took it for granted. I laid there in silence for what felt like a good five minutes. Janet didn’t say anything and just kept leaning on the crib’s side, waiting for me to speak up. “Is this because of the talk Mrs. Beouf had last night?” she asked. I held my palms out in a massive stop gesture. “NO! It’s just…it’s…just…” “Just what?” “You get to see me at my weakest and most vulnerable every single day. You talk like I’m your baby, like we’re family or something, like we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. But I never see the same kind of vulnerability from you. You want me to be comfortable around you, but you don’t show the same level of comfort around me. It doesn’t make me feel protected. It just reminds me of how weak I really am. And that makes me feel angry.” I puffed my cheeks out. “Really really angry.” For the second time that night, Janet seemed genuinely taken aback instead of hurt. “Clark. That might be the most emotionally mature thing I’ve ever heard from you since…ever!” “Thanks.” I didn’t know how else to respond. “I need to think about some things, but I’m not going to forget about this,” she promised. She kissed her fingertips and then pressed them into my forehead. “This is something I want to talk about later.” She left, the light went out, and I felt oddly proud of myself. So proud of myself that I fell asleep instead of telling her how awful she was through the monitor. It’d happened before. Good game. No worries. ****************************************************************************************************** I thought about that oddly intimate conversation that Janet and I’d teased out of each other that Friday night as I laid on a paper covered exam table wearing just a diaper that Saturday morning. The Amazon nurse stripped me down, took my temperature, pulse, and blood pressure, while Janet looked on, fretting. Weight was on a massive scale that I was laid down upon, and it was considered more efficient for me to fall prone and have this random stranger break out measuring tape. Thank goodness they used forehead scanners for taking temperature. “Don’t squirm, Clark,” Janet said. “It’s alright,” the nurse answered, Janet. “I’m good at this.” I couldn’t help but squirm. My gut had chosen the absolute worst time to start acting up. Janet had doubled down on the moderate to high fiber foods she’d fed me Thursday night, and had kept it going for dinner and breakfast. She’d suckered me in with a bowl of steaming hot oatmeal with cinnamon sugar and prunes. I’d only cooperated because she’d provided a massive spoon and a bib. I was allowed to feed myself at my own pace as long as I kept the bib on and used it as a napkin. It was just light enough, but for my size the spoon could have been its own bowl with a handle. The bib was therefore necessary. Back in the doctor’s office, I wanted to fart, but feared that might lead to something worse, and the pressure and pangs were building up inside me and I jittered lightly on the table near the end. “Okay. I got it.” The nurse said. She tickled my tummy and I tensed up so as not to kick her in the face. “The doctor will see you shortly.” She helped me up onto a sitting position, and Janet was beside me before I was all the way up. Janet had taken the t-shirt and pants she’d dressed me in after breakfast and carefully folded them in a pile at the foot of the exam table next to my discarded shoes and socks. “Can I get him dressed again?” She asked. She eyed me, nervously. “I don’t want him to catch cold.” It appeared that our talk about vulnerability had stuck with her. “Leave them off for now. The doctor will want to take a look at him.” That was all there was to say about that, apparently. She walked to the door and left us to each other. Janet went to the trouble of propping herself up on the exam table and letting her feet dangle next to mine. “Do you want to sit in my lap?” she asked. “I could hug you and cover you up until the doctor gets here.” She wore a black scoop neck top and a billowing lilac patterned skirt that I could have been tangled up in without her showing any skin whatsoever. A cramp and I fidgeted in place. “No,” I grunted. “I’m fine.” Secretly, I was worried that there’d be enough space on her lap for my body to think I was on a toilet seat or something and start pushing against my will. I kept my feet dangling over the edge and my rear planted on the flat surface. I sat up straight so that all the weight was down on my tailbone. There was nothing to grip on or lean forward so I couldn’t accidentally raise my rump. I was mindful not to lean back, either and fill my Monkeez with my legs raised to the sky. That would have been worse in my opinion. I was going to poop soon. That was inevitable. I’d lost count of how many times it’d happened to me, but I noticed every time. Adoption hadn’t left me with much agency in whether or not it happened, but the stitched together tatters of my pride wanted to have as much say in the when and where it happened as possible. Messing isn’t the same as wetting. Diapers don’t absorb solid mass so quickly that you sometimes lose count of how often your body has failed you. They don’t contain the odor the same, or subtly sag and swell over time. There’s sounds beyond quiet hissing that only you hear so that you can’t ignore or pretend to yourself that didn’t happen. Diapers never need poop indicators; that’s why eyes, ears, and noses were invented. Janet positioned herself next to the fairly mature toddler clothing she'd dressed me in. I would have killed for that toddler clothing on my body. The ‘Run! Francisco Run!’ shirt wasn’t that infantile, all things considered, and the pants were baggy enough that me carrying an extra pound or two in my back non-pocket would be hard to notice without scrutiny. Pooping your pants sucks, but any level of obfuscation of the inevitable is preferable to nothing: Baggy clothes that concealed lumps and sagging were lovely. A quiet alcove to grunt in or a couch to hide behind while the deed was done could have helped. Highchairs and bouncers and such were still merciful because it was still a solid extra layer between your humiliation and somebody else’s eyes. Other Littles would do, sometimes; they could distract teachers and be suspected of dirty deeds themselves. Just not being the only person ‘known to need diapers’ was sometimes enough where dignity was concerned. Anything to mask my diaper ballooning out the back of me was an unexpected kind of luxury. Anything to stop someone from watching me bend my knees, pop a squat, and remark “Uh oh. I know what that means!”. Fuck my life that I now had serious opinions and feelings about these things. “Janet?” I called. I caught her frown before it reached the bottom of her face. We were technically alone, but also technically in public. “Mommy?” She gently rubbed my back and tried to pull me in for a side hug. I resisted because I felt a not-so-paranoid need to keep all my weight completely centered “Yes, Clark?” How did I ask this and explain it to her? ‘Put my pants back on so I can poop them like you want me too?’ No way were those words coming out of my mouth. “I don’t feel so good.” “Oh?” Janet felt my forehead even though my temperature had literally been taken less than two minutes prior. “We’re just here for a basic check up, but you can tell the doctor if you’re feeling icky.” I didn’t have time to glower or sneer at her word choice. “Can I…?” I tried not to groan. Maybe I could mess in the carseat on the ride back home or wherever our next stop was. Doubtful, but maybe. Did I really want to sit in my own filth for longer than I had to over misplaced dignity? “Can you…?” She was interrupted by a disgusting churning sound coming from my belly. My guts growled loud enough that even she heard it. “Tummy trouble?” Her hand went up over my shoulders and gently patted bare my knee. “Do you need to throw up?” My mouth contorted and my lip pouted out as I shook my head. “Oooooh!” She nodded as if she understood. “I get it. Let me know if you can and I’ll change you as soon as you poop.” I wanted to claw eyes out; mine or hers. “I’ll change you before we go no matter what. That way you won’t have to sit in the car. Even if we’re waiting in the parking lot.” My stomach was punching me from the inside out, and my cheeks were trying to spread without my consent. For Janet, for any Amazon, it was a good deal. Never let an Amazon offer you a good deal if you can get a better one. “Do they have a bathroom here?” “Yeah. I think they have changing tables, too.” The hand left my knee and found my waist band. “Nope. Not yet.” A hidden Amazon skillset must be completely missing hints. “Can I…” I whimpered and paused after another jerk from inside me. I hadn’t been terribly constipated but something inside me was really kicking in. Maybe if I begged, just this once, I could get away with it instead of getting into an argument. It would be okay. No one was here but the two of us. “Mommy, would it be okay if…if I…?” Thud-Thud Two swift knocks at the door and another Amazon poked his head inside. “Hey-hey!” Dr. Milton said. “How’s my favorite patient?” Paper lining and plastic backing rustled beneath me as I instinctively sat up straight and clenched my cheeks together. Old King Quack was here. Broad shouldered, silver haired, but friendly-seeming and confident with a twinkle in his eye, he instantly gave off ‘New Grandpa’ vibes. In actuality, he was arguably the biggest proponent of whatever theory Maturosis peddled itself as in Oakshire. Bigger than even Beouf, if such a thing were possible. Shit. My vain and distant potty options were instantly flushed down the toilet. Maturosis was a cult, and it would have been foolish to so much as hope that blasphemy would go unchecked around him. I was definitely going to have an accident here. Probably in this room. The only Little with two giants staring right at him. Shit. I folded my hands in my lap and clenched my jaw so tight that my teeth clicked. “Hello, Doctor.” Janet stood up and offered her hand out. Dr. Milton shook hers and then held his hand out to me just like on my first visit. I did not take up the offer to shake it. “Hmmm?” he said. “Favorite patient bit not working, sir?” He scratched the side of his head. “Oh yeah, I gotta say that you’re my favorite patient named Clark! That’s the part that I missed.” Cartoonishly he turned around and made to walk away. “I’ll come back in.” “Spare me.” Another tremor shook my gut and I tried to sit up even straighter somehow. I needed to move, but didn’t want a movement. “He talks!” The doctor said, “Excellent! Wonderful to see you, sir! I hope you’re well.” He was unfazed by nasty glares and distant stares alike. He would be. He turned his back to me and Janet followed him around. “This is just a checkup, right? Nothing too bad going on?” Janet folded her hands in front of her and shook her head, oddly mirroring me. “No, Doctor. Not as far as health goes.” “Good. No sickness or fever other than that one time you emailed me about after the fact?” “Correct.” My lips puckered like I’d been sucking a lemon. Mental disgust and internal discomfort were doing a number on me. I wanted to bite my knuckle to distract myself from the pangs, but that would draw attention. I actually would have killed to have Lion in my lap, something with a nice fluffy brain to crush, but he was stuck with his head poking out of Janet’s diaper bag on the floor. A pacifier would have made a decent groaning gag, too, and given the sides of my tongue and insides of my cheek a rest. Fuck my life that these were now my earnest thoughts and options. “Are all the basic fundamentals happening? He’s still eating, sleeping, burping, peeing, pooping? Sometimes multiple at once, I bet?” His back was to me but I heard the knowing chuckle and pictured a corny grin all the same. Janet did a poor job of stifling her own. “Yes, sir.” Both Amazons were preoccupied with one another. If I was going to degrade myself here and now, this was going to be the largest amount of privacy I could expect: shitting while they were looking at each other instead of examining me directly. The thing that gave me pause was that based on my positioning and red alert levels of urgency, I’d probably make it to my hands and knees before things started to empty themselves out. Thursday night with the Little brat who habitually pooped on all fours and how positively irate she’d been at being ratted out came to my imagination’s foregrand. That put a cork in that plan. “Potty training or potty anxiety?” “He still gets embarrassed sometimes that he’s lost his potty training,” Janet reported, “but overall I think he’s fine. Sometimes he’ll forget to ask for a change. I had to break out the rash cream last night.” A big silver haired noggin bobbled in approval. “Good. Good. Not the rash, I mean, that he’s comfortable. We always want to ensure comfort and happiness where we can.” “Mmmhmmm” If Janet had been singing, the man would have been preaching to the choir. “If he’d spent the last two months throwing a complete temper tantrum every time he’d had an accident, or constantly asking to use the toilet, I’d actually recommend potty training.” “Oh no no no,” Janet said. “I don’t think he needs that.” I didn’t need clothes to keep warm in that second. Lies. Such utter bullshit lies. If I’d been a steadfast whiner about what went on in my pants daily, I would have gone to time out, or be given impossibly thick diapers and pumped full of diuretics till I couldn’t tell the difference between wet and dry. The two instances I’d encountered in my life of a captured Little being allowed to toilet train were the Little who lived in my house before Cassie and I bought it and the one who’d been withdrawn from Beouf’s roster over the summer. One was dead, and the other was as good as dead, assuming she was still at New Beginnings. None of the A.L.L. or any of my other classmates had brought up what led to the girl getting training pants, but her causing a fuss would have surely come up. I was too scared to ask Beouf before and there’s no way she would tell me now. This so-called doctor based his diagnosis on self-fulfilling prophecies after the fact when he’d already proven himself right. Typical. So, so, typical. I breathed in and cut it short when an even more intense cramp racked me. My entire belly was on fire for a second. What was I eating that was causing this? I hadn’t felt this level of urgency since before all of my underwear had tapes on it. How funny would it be, I mused, if this was how I found out my appendix was about to burst? The pain subsided for a second and I shoved that nugget away from my thoughts; mostly because an even more frightened part of my gray matter dredged up the idea that I’d find my continence surgically undone while someone was rooting around there saving me. “Breastfeeding yet?” The quack asked. “No,” Janet and I said in unison. She sounded more embarrassed in her update; an Amazon who hadn’t broken her pet yet. I sounded more steadfast in my refusal and didn’t like that ‘yet’, at all. His head went down to a clipboard he’d been keeping tucked under his arm. “Then why did you ask to…?” “The prescription hasn’t kicked in yet,” Janet yelped. “Prescription?” I called over. Suddenly my bowels didn’t hurt as much, but my padding was still pristine. Something more sinister sounding was just there to occupy my attention. “What do you mean ‘prescription’?” The conversation, along with the Amazons pivoted back over to me. “It’s for me, Clark. He wrote me a prescription a while back. It’s for my mood.” “It’s true, good sir.” Doctor Milton said. “Not for Littles, but good for women who’ve recently Adopted. You’d be surprised how much Adoptive parents have in common with biological counterparts. It’s fascinating. Helps the Littles indirectly, too.” He tried giving me a conspiratorial wink. “I’d say something like ‘happy wife happy life’, but I haven’t figured anything out that rhymes with Mommy just yet.” Only he laughed at his joke. “What’s it for?” I asked. “Oxytocin,” Janet said. “It helps me get oxytocin.” I puzzled the word out. Where had I heard it before? It sounded vaguely familiar, but not in a way that came up in conversation. The old titan plugged his stethoscope into his ears and started giving me the once over. “Let’s just make sure everything looks good on the inside, before we play Twenty Questions, yes?” He breathed on the cold bit of metal at the end to warm it up and then held it up to my chest. “Mmmhmmm. Mmmmhmmm.” Then my back. “Breathe deep. Thank you.” Then my stomach. “Mmmhmmm. Mmmmhmmm.” A light shined in my ears, eyes, and throat. “Say ah!” “Aaaaah.” “Very good, sir. Very good.” And then his focus returned to Janet. “Ms. Grange, Clark seems to be healthy but…” Fear and concern clogged up Janet’s throat. “But?” “I’m worried about his weight. He’s gained more than a little bit in just two months.” “He has?” Janet asked. I had. Embarrassed. I was actually embarrassed. I peered down at my pot belly and frowned. Cafeteria food and baby slop was more caloric than breakfast shakes. Most of my time was spent stewing and plotting instead of over exercise. The only time I exercised was when it served a larger, meaner purpose. I kept staring at my gut. Yet another side effect of having no privacy was that I never had time to explore myself or notice changes that weren’t drastically forced on me. Still… I hadn’t gained that much, had I? “Fifteen pounds in just a couple months is worrisome. He’s not in any danger, but I don’t want to see it continue, you understand.” My mouth went dry. I sat motionless as more pain filled my midsection. Fifteen pounds? How had I managed that? Janet looked like a whipped dog. “Yes, Doctor.” “Littles like sweet and fatty foods, but those experiencing Maturosis lack the impulse control to moderate consumption and the discipline to exercise. His brain might think he’s a baby, but his heart won’t know the difference. He’s all out of growth spurts and his metabolism won’t be speeding up.” This was the most uncomfortable I’d seen another Amazon make Janet, and I absolutely hated it. I was being talked about like I was a fat old man and a useless baby at the same time. “Any suggestions, sir?” “Did you try the at-home yoga like I advised? Or find a class?” “No, sir. I…it’s been hectic, but that’s no excuse. I’ll look into some resources.” A finger pointed at me. “You could, you could. Or you could just ask him. Can’t be that big a difference between adult yoga and kid’s yoga. At least start him on the one while you research the other.” More proof that I would never fully understand Amazons. Janet continued to nod. “Okay. Sure. Yeah.” She stopped and considered me. “Would you like that, Clark?” I stopped jiggling my belly like it was a disgusting science experiment. “Uh…yeah…?” “You can do other things if you like,” the quack expounded. “Get a toddler leash and go on walks instead of strolls. Sign up for Little League T-Ball or a dance class. Get him some playdates on the weekend.” That prefaced another dirty old man wink. “Half an hour wandering around a playground is good, but it’s not enough.” Someone knew Beouf’s class schedule… “His best friend is a crawler,” Janet said, defensively. “So?” Dr. Milton replied. “Let him crawl on the floor with his buddy. Crawling burns calories, too.” He might have a point there. Amy wasn’t fat. “His best friend doesn’t have to be his only friend,” he added. “The point is he’s never going to grow up at his age. He’s only going to grow out, and you have to keep that in mind because he can’t do it himself.” I wanted to contradict him, but it’s hard to argue independence when you’re on the verge of unloading into your pants. Having better cardio would serve me in the long run, anyways. So why not let Janet help engineer and fine tune my freedom? “Yes, sir.” Janet said. “I can do that.” “Good.” Dr Milton leaned up against his exam table. “Very good. One thing I’ll add is that if I can get a stool sample, I can probably do some analysis. Figure out if there’s any major deficiencies that need seeing to. Do you have a dirty diaper like I suggested? Tanked him up on fiber for a few days?” I locked eyes with Janet and silently begged her not to out me. “What about a blood sample?” I volunteered. “I can handle a prick on the finger.” Counterintuitively I stifled a pained moan and tacked on “I’m a big boy….” to taunt the man into proving me wrong. The bigger giant stroked his chin. “Maybe. Maybe. Not a big fan of that method, though. Unnecessary pain and not exactly what I’m looking for. You’d be surprised how much information can be found with a stool sample.” “Sorry,” Janet said. “I forgot. He usually has a bowel movement when he sleeps or first thing in the morning at school. No such luck today.” Inwardly, I froze. Was Janet actually covering for me? Lying for me? About something objectively trivial, all things considered but of vital import to yours truly? For me? Another mountain of evidence proving why I would never fully understand the maternal giant folk. “Ah yes,” Dr. Milton said. “That is the downside of having Little patients. If we could predict when they’d be able to produce for us, we probably wouldn’t need to have them in diapers to begin with. Fortunately…” He spun around and dug his fingers into my sides, an insane wide eyed smile on his wrinkling face. “COOCHIE COOCHIE COO!” I tensed and fell back, screaming instead of laughing despite the rictus grin forming. My arms tucked in, and infinitely stronger hands took that as a cue to dig into my arm pits, and then dart over to my belly button. I drew my knees up. That’s all that she wrote for those Monkeez. I started pushing and screaming as the mess made its way out of me far too easily. My diaper ballooned as fecal matter hit the back and kept going, each cramp now just a warning that I wasn’t done pushing. After the initial lapse, it wasn’t even that I ‘had’ to push; it was just a reflex. Warmth engulfed me top to bottom and the front of my padding started to discolor and bunch up while I practically bathed in my own urine. I knew this would happen. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Knowing it didn’t make it any better. As long as it felt, the whole terrible process took less than five seconds. My insides felt like they’d been greased and everything slipped right out. It didn’t feel like diarrhea, just soft. I hadn’t felt this lack of control since I’d been poisoned by the training chocolate. This wasn’t training chocolate, though, because Raine’s goodies at least numbed things so that you couldn’t feel yourself going at times. This just felt overwhelmingly natural and I hated it. Both giants were staring right at me while I did it, too. “And there. We. Go.” The old trickster god said. “Can’t get any fresher than that.” I stayed laying down on the table with my knees pulled up close to my stomach. I buried my face in my hands and shoved the heel of my right palm over my mouth to stop me from screaming and crying. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. You’ve cried enough. Don’t let them see you cry. Fuck them. Be strong. Don’t look! Don’t think! This is nothing and you’re used to this. Even though you shouldn’t be… Janet was shushing me and gently running her fingers through my hair. “Was that really necessary?” I didn’t see the doctor shrug. “His guts were going crazy. I’m a rip the bandaid off kind of guy.” There was a prolonged silence. Janet kept stroking my hair and shushing me. I kept trying not to hyperventilate or scream bloody murder. “You can change him right here if you want. Just ball it up and I’ll have a nurse collect it.” “If it’s okay with you,” Janet said, “I’d like to change him in the bathroom.” There was a massive edge to her words. “Get him dressed.” “Sure sure.” He said, nonchalantly. “If you choose the one right before you get to the checkout counter, you’ll find a cabinet between the changing station and the toilet. If you put the diaper in the cabinet and knock, one of the nurses will take it.” “Thank you, Doctor.” “Any time, Ms. Grange. Anytime. See you both in a couple months.” I heard the door open and shut. Then I heard her say, “We’ll see…” The wait was too long for me, while Janet gathered up the diaper bag and my clothes. “Change me,” I whimpered, pathetically. “Please. Just change me.” “I will, baby. Just a second.” I was blind back through the halls and to the restroom Janet had been directed to. I felt every shift and step. Nothing shifted in my pants, whatsoever. There was too much sticking to everything and not enough room for it to jostle around in. My ears burned on full alert, picking up every footstep, cry, and bit of random dialogue. Things went nearly silent save for squeaky hinges on a wall mounted changing station. “Please,” I begged. “Just get me out of this. I don’t even care about the changing pad.” The soft comforter-like texture of a changing pad still cushioned me. The familiar sensation of a restraint being threaded under my arms and over my chest followed. “It’s okay,” Janet whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” I finally took my hands out of my face to clutch Lion and hold onto him for dear life. Janet was readying diapering supplies like she was a surgeon. “It’s okay. This is nothing. This is nothing. It’s not a big deal.” Tapes ripped and the diaper practically forced itself open. Stupidly I looked down myself and saw the disgusting results. I laid my head back and counted ceiling tiles. It was a good thing there were no mirrors on this ceiling. Beouf’s room would have killed me just then. Janet wiped me down, furiously, shushing and whispering sweet nothings as she did. From as many wipes as she used, I'd quietly figured that the putrid stinking stuff had nearly reached my genitals. It wasn’t that putrid, though. It was bad, mind you, still obviously feces, but it had a different stench to it. Less offensive, or so I thought. Everyone likes their own brand, as it were, but Janet showed no sign of irritation, either. “Almost done,” Janet promised. She just kept going at it, using wipe after wipe like a squeegee. “You’re doing good, baby. You’re doing good.” Lion got a chance to breathe when the last wipe caressed my penis and I finally heard the used diaper get balled up. I saw the massive ball be toted right by me, and placed in a cabinet with a knock. Back on the slab, Janet slipped a new diaper and dusted some powder over me. “You’re doing so good.” Janet whispered. “I’m so proud of you. I love you.” “I…” I almost echoed the sentiment but Zoge’s conditioning hadn’t quite gotten a hold of me. Everything untensed from my head to my tow, when the change was finally finished and I had a nice snug replacement taped over my hips. The smile that followed when Janet started threading my legs through the pants was completely genuine. I hadn’t even had to ask or remind her and went so far as to boost my hips up to help. Socks and shoes followed. Finally, I was allowed to sit up and get my shirt back on. “Thank you,” I said. For once I buried my head into the nape of her neck and didn’t want to go for the jugular. “Welcome,” she whispered, and set me down on my own two feet. Surprised, I reached my hand up for her. Maybe we were starting on light cardio right away. Janet didn’t take my hand. “Hold on,” she told me. “I gotta go too.” “Go?” In answer to my question, she walked over to the single toilet, turned around, and dropped her lilac skirt and matching panties down to her ankles. “Janet?” my voice bounced off the walls. “Mommy? What are you doing?” The answer was a tinkling sound of liquid connecting with liquid, and Janet loudly sighing. More than a hint of scarlet came to her cheeks. Stupidly, I turned around and used Lion to cover my face. Watching just felt wrong; voyeuristic; gross. I knew exactly why she was doing it, but my brain couldn’t process that this was more than hypothetical. The sound of tinkling paused and I held my breath, waiting for the flush. A solid plunk of something solid punctuated the stillness and it actually made me jump. The shuffling sounds of toilet paper being ripped added to the bathroom symphony and finally a flush. When I turned back around, she was at the sink, washing her hands. I gawked right up until the moment that she shouldered the diaper bag and picked me back up. “What?” she asked, playfully. “You peep and poop in front of me all the time.” “Yeah, but…but…but…” “But what?” Her eyes fluttered at me. “What, baby?” I nuzzled back into her. “Thank you,” I repeated myself. “Just…thank you.” *********************************************************************************************** “Mommy’s going to take a shower,” Janet declared after she’d cleaned up for dinner. “Do you want to take one with me?” I looked back over my shoulder towards the television as if maybe she’d been addressing the parents on the Koddles commercial. “I beg your pardon?” The rest of that Saturday had been eerily still. Lovey-dovey baby crazy Janet had taken a back seat to preoccupied and quiet Janet. That had been fine. I’d needed time to process that morning. She’d needed it too. I took a bottle of goat’s milk in her lap right after lunch and I didn’t actively seek to antagonize her, but other than that I’d let Janet be. I was feeling shades of that first not-completely miserable weekend right before I’d learned about Cassie and those parallels gave me all kinds of bad feelings. Janet had put in a call to Beouf and left a voice message when I wasn’t supposed to be listening in. Other than that she was on her phone or in her room all day. She’d disappeared for almost an hour of dinner; giving me free reign of the house and uncharacteristically leaving the dishes in the sink. Presently, just before when she’d normally start trying to put me in bed, the Amazon stood barefoot in front of me with her gorgeous raven hair let down, and wearing nothing but a pink silk bathrobe tied off at the waist. “Mommy’s going to take a shower,” she said again. “Do you want to take one with me?” I was still in the toddler play clothes: Loose pants, velcro sneakers, t-shirt. Deduct fifty points for the Monkeez and I was still more dressed than her. Wow. So this was about to be a thing. This was happening. “Um…sure? Yeah.” “Okay. Do you want to take a shower in your bathroom, or Mommy’s bathroom?” Hearing the M-word spoken so frequently in a spot where it should have been forbidden left a bad taste in my ears. “Janet, why are you-?” “Clark,” she almost snapped at me. “I need to say this stuff. I need to be able to say these words. Call me whatever you want, but I need to be able to call myself ‘Mommy’ right now. Okay? I need it.” Speaking of flashbacks, I hadn’t seen Janet like this since the first awful day where our relationship moved out of the friend-zone and into every Little’s worst nightmare. “Just…let me humor myself.” Wow. “Okay. Sure. It’s your house. That’s fine.” She stood there, waiting for me. “Your shower, I guess.” Janet likely jerked her head towards her bedroom door and I waddled after her. Two months Adopted and I’d seen where she slept a bare handful of times. It still had a kind of mysterious quality to me, like I was trespassing into a sorceress’s lair or something. The bed was fully made and put together. A military woman could flip a coin and no wrinkles would form. The fancy headboard with the drinking glasses was dusted, too. The side cot that she’d gotten as an impulse buy had yet to be unpacked, but other than that, the room was bizarrely clean, even for Janet. I twisted my head, wondering if she’d shoved old clothes or dropped something under the bed like a normal person, but Janet stopped my instinctive snooping. “Come on,” she said. “Follow Mommy. We’re gonna get clean together.” If she were going to hide anything it would have been in the massive closet, anyways. She brought us into the small bathroom and took a knee on the fluffy floor mat. Small of course, is a matter of comparison. The white tile was still tall and impressive with a high ceiling, even if including the shower, the space was only twice the size of Beouf’s classroom commode. “Are you sure you’re not going to get scared?” she asked. “Mommy’s shower is very loud and there’s no bubbles to play with.” “Janet you don’t need to talk to me like I’m-” “Clark…” Janet cut me off again. “I’ve been reading those same blogs you told me about and then some all last night and this afternoon. Are you sure?’ I curled my lip and breathed deeply through my nose. “Yes, Janet. I’m sure.” She closed her eyes and smiled softly. Even without seeing her, I could see it reaching her eyes. This was happening. This was really happening. An Amazon was about to fully listen to me and give up some control. And she was struggling but strangely okay with it. “Okay. Arms up.” She mimed like I didn’t know. I obeyed. “Now your shoes. Now your pants.” One leg at a time I stepped out. She was going the extra mile to make it clear that I was still a baby to her and that old Clark Gibson was gone. Funnily enough, this was still one of the easier times that I’d been undressed by her. I was expecting to have to look up at her from the fluffy bath mat. “And your diaper.” My last regular diaper of the day fell down between my ankles, Janet quickly balled it up and cursed. “Crud,” she said. “I forgot to get a new one for after.” My own contrarian nature betrayed me. “My room is just across the house,” I said. “Even if I’m not potty trained, I think you can make it in time.” All the struggling was actually helping me. “True,” she said and stood up. “Good point. Maybe next time.” Next time? Janet wasted no further time disrobing. She’d taken Dr. Milton’s sentiment about bandaid ripping to heart, even if she’d been less than thrilled by his methods. The belt was undone, and the silken thing was off her shoulders almost as fast as my heavy sodden underwear had been. I could only stand there, awestruck and blushing, fighting myself from turning away. In all my life I’d only seen one woman completely nude; pictures, my imagination, and one mishap with an unlocked door didn’t count. That made Janet the second. I wasn’t sure what to say, or do. I’d proposed this- literally asked for it- but in no way did I honestly think on an intellectual or emotional level that Janet would follow through. I’d been bluffing; playing chicken; and this woman had called my bluff. I could only stand there, gaping, and trying not to drool. Did I stare? Did I look away? Wouldn’t that be against the point of this…whatever this was? She’d seen me naked literally everyday for months. This was just returning the favor, so to speak. Looking for something to latch onto, my eyes started analyzing her the way the killer nanny-bot did in those foreign horror movies Little parents would sometimes let their children watch: I took in the curves of her hips, and her thighs. I gazed at her belly button and the slight tummy that proportionately made my macaroni and cheese gut look bulbous. Her breasts somehow looked bigger without the extra layers, and left me transfixed; a shrew staring at a cobra’s sway. My gaze went beneath the belly button and confirmed that Janet didn’t dye her hair. Looking at the size of Janet’s…everything, and my…everything else… I wondered how there could be any truth to the idea that Tweener’s had mixed ancestry. The physical mechanics alone were baffling. The desire, however, was understandable; from an academic standpoint, of course. It was possible to admit that someone was attractive while feeling no physical or emotional attraction whatsoever. “It’s okay,” Janet said softly to me. “You can look. I trust you.” The verbal reminder that Janet was, in fact, a person made my eyes hone onto hers and refuse to look away. This was about vulnerability, I reminded myself. This was her trusting me with something. This was Janet giving up a small sense of privacy in lieu of giving me my own. It was the closest thing to compromise with a Little that her baby crazy brain could wrap itself around. “So,” I said, feeling awkward. “What now?” I was scooped up and propped over her shoulder. “We take a shower, silly. This is what you wanted.” “Yeah,” I said. “You’re right.” Janet held me with one hand and I wrapped my arms over her shoulder for balance. She used her free hand to open the class door to her shower and turn on the water. A million focused drops of hot rain poured onto the floor, and she held me there on the precipice, waiting for the temperature to adjust. My heart thudded like a jackhammer, and every nerve ending in my body tingled. All tactile sensations felt magnified a thousand fold. I could feel the spaces between Janet’s fingers cupping my ass. I could feel the heat from her body and that her pulse was pounding just as much as mine was. My hands kept gently brushing over patches of skin, taking in the softness and textures of her. I wanted to reach up and pull her hair. Simultaneously, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about less innocent exploration; the urge to touch both out of curiosity, but also out of an impulse to provoke. How did Amy do it so casually with her Mommy? Meanwhile in the back of my mind, I kept worrying about my penis lightly brushing up against her body. Thinking about it was probably not helping. I wanted to touch everything. I dared not touch anything. I was curious about being touched. I feared something happening upon touch. “Temperature’s good,” Janet announced. Her reach was long enough to where she could test the water without stepping in. “Do you want a feel?” “Yes, please.” Gingerly, the giantess slid across into the shower holding me out like a certain animated feline. I put my arm forward and jerked it back like I’d been struck. “Too hot?” Janet asked. “No,” I half-shouted over cascading water. “Too cold! Warmer please!” Janet stepped inside, and twisted a dial. She pivoted so that her opposite shoulder was in the oncoming flow. “You’re not getting sick again, are you?” “Nuh-uh. I just like being in hot water.” She cocked an eyebrow at me. “That explains a lot.” We both looked like we didn’t know whether to laugh or not while the steam clouds slowly rose. “How about this?” She pivoted so I could experiment. “Much better.” “Good.” She turned so that almost all of me was in the gentle torrent. The water pouring down us felt amazingly therapeutic, tiny water massages pelting me clean instead of a big bubbly blanket that secretly wanted to drown me. And this time I didn't have to be sick as a dog to get it. Oddly enough, the extra sensory input of the steam, water, and white noise from the shower helped make other sensations not so extreme as to be worrisome. It was a tight fit in that shower. Two full grown Amazons probably wouldn’t have had enough room to get clean, (or do much of anything but stand there). Like with Beouf’s cramped bathroom made even more cramped by a thick changing table, there was just enough room for the two of us together. Janet had a hanging shelf with liquid soaps and body washes. Since I was keeping one arm constantly occupied with my body, she would just squirt dabs onto us and gently work it in with her fingers. Like the night before, she would warn me whenever she was about to touch me or shift me around or switch arms. It was even better than the last time. And she developed a kind of gentle swaying motion that took us in and out of the showerhead’s path like a slow waltz. The actual bathing part was over far too quickly for me. At least half of the usual bathtime ritual was waiting for the tub to fill and for a moment I worried that it might end after every conceivable part of us had been soaped up and sprayed off. I peered far down below at the drain where the white flecks of soap vanished as soon as they dribbled off our bodies. There were no bath toys to offer, or bubbles to play with, and no place for Janet to sit and stare at me and pretend that I was the Little she’d always dreamed of but would never get. I didn’t say anything to her when the last of the body wash was gone. She’d held up her end of the bargain and had every right to stop. She didn’t though. All that happened was that she gave herself greater freedom of movement, and cradled me in both arms, rocking me gently in the same way that we’d danced together. “My baby takes the morning train, He works from nine to five and then, He takes another home again, To find me waitin’ for him.” Now cradled, I stared up in a quiet wonder at her. Janet had sung to me before; more times that I care to write down. But before this moment, her kiddie songs had always had a kind of annoying, cutesy, chirpy, nasally, singing-without-really singing quality. An adult trying to sing like a child; that is to say ‘poorly’. “He takes me to a movie or to a restaurant To go slow dancing, anything I want, Only when he’s with me, I catch light, Only when he gives me, makes me feel alright.” This voice was deeper; throatier; louder and full chested; contralto to the point to where it might have been able to sing baritone, but still undeniably feminine. Undeniably Janet. And she’d been singing a song I didn’t know, but the way she sang it, it sounded comforting and happy and simple; genuinely something that I might have hummed to myself on my scooter after a long day at work but having enough energy to do something beyond crash and veg out. “My baby takes the morning train, He works from nine to five and then, He takes another home again, To find me waiting for him.” More intriguing, the Amazon was singing a song with ‘baby’ distinctly in the lyrics, but nothing else to indicate that it was about a Little. No talks of maturity, or bottles, or butterfly kisses. If anything, this ‘baby’ sounded like a partner and provider, over a dependant or a doll. In the context of the melody, ‘baby’ was a term of affection, not domination or smothering cosseting obsession. “What’s that song?” I called over the pouring water and Janet’s own melody. Why didn’t she sing like that more often? Janet looked down at me as if she’d forgotten I was there. She’d entranced herself. “I don’t remember. It’s something I learned in highschool; part of a dumb talent show competition.” A moment passed. “I like to sing in the shower. Sorry. I’ll stop.” “No, no,” I said. “I’m just curious. How’s the rest go?” “I don’t remember,” she admitted. “Just that one verse and the chorus.” “Do you want to sing it again?” I offered. Then, I admitted, “I like it.” Eyes sparkled back and a switch flipped back on. “Really? You like it when Mommy sings?” I balled up a fist and rubbed my eyes so that I wouldn’t roll them. “Yes, Janet. I like it when you sing.” Mercifully, that was enough for her. She kept swaying and gently rocking me, taking our naked bodies in and out of the stream, singing the same two parts of a mostly forgotten song over and over again. The world outside of our immediate bubble went numb to me and ceased to exist as far as I cared. The only two things that had my attention were Janet’s singing and face gently smiling down on me, and how pleasantly heavy my eyelids were beginning to feel. “Okay,” Janet said. “I think it’s time to get you to bed, honey.” “Hmm?” I stirred and startled at the sound of her voice not sinking. I’d genuinely drifted off in the massive woman’s arms. She was blushing like crazy and holding me wrapped up in a towel. “Hey!” I whined. “No swaddling!” The bathroom ceiling shifted to the bedroom ceiling and quickly into the main part of the house. “Don’t worry,” Janet said. “This is just the quickest way to dry you off, silly.” She herself was still dripping wet. I suppressed a groggy snarl. “Promise?” “Promise, sweetie. Mommy promises.” Honey. Silly. Sweetie. All these nicknames were seriously toeing a line, and Janet knew it. I let her call herself ‘Mommy’ and she was already testing new boundaries. I tried to not allow my eyes to close again, not wanting to be so sleepy, no matter how good the experience had been. Lightly squirming in Janet’s grasp, I tried to free my arms without her dropping me. There was something so unpleasantly confining about it. How did real babies sleep with their arms bound so tight? There was probably a reason why it wasn’t common past a certain age. Trying to get out of the swaddle while Janet was moving was no easy task. It would have been simpler to trust her to carry me, but all of the baby talk she was piling on deserved at least a physical rebuttal to discourage it. “Almost there, baby,” Janet said. “Almost to your nursery. Then we’ll put you in a nice dry diaper and some jammies and you can go back to sleep. How does that sound?” Oh enough already! “It sounds-” My hand brushed past my penis and I froze. I wasn’t fully erect…yet. When did that happen? It didn’t take a master detective to figure out. A better phrase to describe my condition was ‘I wasn’t fully erect…anymore.’ Janet’s sudden heaping of baby talk was taking on a new context. She was unsettled, discomforted, and trying to ‘help’ me. Beouf giving a pep talk about Adopted Littles maintaining certain urges was fine in theory. Practice was another matter. For both of us. “Yes Mommy.” I said. “I think I’m sleepy, yes. Can I please go night-night?” Janet looked positively relieved. “Of course, baby boy. But first we have to get you ready for bed. Can’t have you going night-night all nakied!” The vocabulary was really doing it for me, by which I meant not doing it at all. As intended. Completely naked and dripping, Janet got me redressed, all while narrating every single excruciating detail. “Now that we’ve had our shower together, let’s slip the fresh diaper underneath you. We want a nice nighttime diaper, too, so you don’t leak all over your crib. And you’re still pretty rashy, Clark, so I think some cream on your bum-bum will help you sleep good. Can’t forget the baby powder. That’ll dry you out and help you feel nice and cool. “Here, let Mommy rub it in on your tummy, too. We’re gonna start feeding you more yummy veggies though so don’t get used to seeing Mr. Tum-Tum! Almost done, almost done. Let’s count the tapes. One! Two! Now let’s get your jammies on. Blue’s a good color! Right? Yes it is! Yes it is! It’s a pretty color for my precious baby boy! “Let’s get your arms, head, and legs in there. Good baby! Now let’s count the snaps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five! Wow! You did it! Oh and here’s your paci in case you need a suckle. And here’s Lion to keep you company.” Throughout it, her voice took on the same cooing, whiny, nasally tone it did when she was trying to do any of the Little Voices exercises. I resisted and complained about absolutely none of it. Was thankful, for it in fact. She gently put me down in the crib and that was alright. She forgot to kiss me in any way shape or form and that was alright, too. “Night night, Clark. I love you. Mommy’s gonna go dry off.” I laid there, completely mortified and quivering. In the darkness, I turned my head and looked at Lion. His glassy unmoving eyes stared at me, judging me for any number of things. “Shut up!”

The Ballet Slippers - Chapter 17 Isabelle woke up, feeling refreshed, and far more relaxed than she had gone to sleep. The sunlight had been streaming through her bedroom windows flanking each side of her bed for well over an hour now, but Isabelle was desperate for the rest. Both her body and mind demanded it after several grueling days, both physically and emotionally. Isabelle stretched her body out, seeking to find the end of her bedframe with her toes, but coming up empty. She arched her back, stretching it out as she flung one leg over the other, enhancing the stretch and exhaling as she felt the relief in her body. She repeated the process on the other side, before sitting up and grey and white comforter off of her, and reaching to continue stretching by touching her toes. As she did, Isabelle glanced to her left and noticed Rabbity, sitting beside her enjoying the morning sun. 'Well good day to you sir," Isabelle said, as she did a playful bow to Rabbity. "I hope you slept fine and are prepared for this wonderful day!" Isabelle sat up, releasing her stretch, and shifted her body to the right, letting her legs fall to the ground. Though her body was largely sore, Isabelle remarked that her feet felt great as they touched the floor. 'Is this how all the other dancers have been feeling all this time with access to Petrova's shoes?' Isabelle wondered. 'Lucky ducks.' Isabelle lifted herself up, letting her scrunched up sleep shirt fall down to her knees. Isabelle was about to leave when she hesitated, a smell hitting her nose as she was about to move. Her eyes were directed to her wet pants and panties in front of her door, the smell and the sight of which reminded her of her transgression the night before. "I'll have to deal with that today," Isabelle reminded herself. As if to simply confirm that nothing of that...nature...had occurred again, Isabelle turned backward to examine her bed and sheets. A cursory review confirmed that no, she had not wet the bed, "because I don't do that," Isabelle remarked, before leaving her room, shutting the door firmly, and heading to the bathroom to pee where big gir - 'Where adults pee," Isabelle said aloud, regretting it almost instantly. As she sat down on the toilet, Isabelle reflected on her deductions the night prior. She finally felt that she had a purpose - a direction with which to investigate. That provided her with some semblance of hope, hope that she might finally figure out what was happening to her. Hope that, if she did, she might somehow be able to fix whatever it was that was happening. To find her way back to normal. 'For now, I just need to keep playing along.' Isabelle wrapped up her bathroom business, noting her soft features in the mirror as she glanced at herself while washing her hands. Isabelle then made her way down the stairs, toward the kitchen. By the time Isabelle was at the bottom of the stairs, she could hear her mother speaking to someone on the phone. The receiving end was on speaker phone, as Isabelle's mother was going about fixing up the kitchen. Isabelle immediately recognized the voice, as she stepped into the kitchen mid conversation. Jane smiled at Isabelle as she entered the kitchen, and then turned to walk toward the pantry. "....and so she threw a fit this morning. But what choice did we have? First the accident, and then the lying." It was, of course, Jess on the phone with her mom, Isabelle realized. Isabelle only hoped that the conversation was unrelated to the prior evenings events. It was too much to hope for, of course. Jess continued, obviously unaware that Isabelle had entered the room. "and so she'll stay like this until she learns to grown-up. I don't know how you did it on your own Jane, I really don't. Becky is turning into more work than Eric is. Sometimes I wonder if she will ever grow up," Jess said, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. Jane took the opportunity to cut in, "well, I did only have the one, and she was no easy task when she was Becky's age - and older. And speaking of her, she just walked into the kitchen," Jane said, for Jess's sake. "You can ask her yourself, if you want." Jane ended, as she started pouring some Leprechaun Runes into a bowl. 'That is nice of mom,' Isabelle thought, though her thoughts were cut off as Jess interjected. "Oh yes! Hi Izzzzz! I was just telling your mom how wonderful you were last night, and that well happily have you back to watch the kids whenever we go out!" Jane gave Isabelle a sort of 'I told you so look' that only a mother could. 'It's as though mom thinks I only did a good job because she asked me,' was what Isabelle wanted to say. She held back. Jess, meanwhile, continued. "I did have a question sweetie - where did you put Becky's pants that she had her accident in? I know you said she took her pullup off, but where are the pants?" Isabelle's heart stopped. 'The pants. Shit. Wait....' ... .... ..... '....obviously there are no pants, since Becky didn't, well, wet hers.....' Isabelle was scrambling. Unfortunately, the most obvious answer didn't come to her. Instead, Isabelle made a mistake. "I...uh......Well I...I washed them in the washer." Isabelle hoped that would be the end of that. It wasn't. "You washed them? Are they in there now??" Isabelle was in too deep. "Uhh...No, not anymore," Isabelle responded, watching her mom pour milk into her bowl of runes, "I uhh.....I dried them after that." It was the only possible response at this stage. "Dried them...? How on earth did you have the time. You said she had just had the accident before we got home." Isabelle knew she was caught in a lie. The only way forward? 'More lies.' "See it was a bit before you got back. I washed her pants first, because I didn't......." Isabelle scrambled for something that would make sense. Then she remembered her room "....didn't want it to smell in the basement, with the wet pants, so I washed them and dried them. I used the quick cycles, since it wasn't that bad of a wet spot." Isabelle considered her answer for a minute, before nervously digging into her bowl of runes her mom had pushed in front of her. Whether Jess or her mom suspected anything was up, Isabelle could not tell. But at that, Jess simply replied "that was very sweet of you," and moved on to another topic as Isabelle breathed, for what felt like the first time since she entered the kitchen. "....So like I said Jane, well do it this weekend. It'll be a blast. And Isabelle can watch the kids again." Whatever Jess was proposing, Isabelle could see her mom looked unsure about. Jane simply replied "I'll let you know," and took the phone off speaker, stepping into the other room. Isabelle shrugged it off, and turned her attention back to sorting her runes into groups, the way they were meant to be eaten. Jane headed upstairs, continuing to speak on the phone to Jess about whatever it was they spoke about, leaving Isabelle by herself to finish her breakfast. The morning passed without much fanfare. After breakfast, Isabelle made sure to go back to the bathroom to poop. Isabelle reminded herself that she would be visiting the bathroom often today, not risking anymore potential....incidents. 'Not that I have those,' she reminded herself, before washing her hands again, and turning to return to ber bedroom. As she approached her door, Isabelle couldn't help but notice that the door was propped open, ever so slightly. Isabelle reached out toward the door, her hand stopping just short of pushing it in. 'I swear I closed this...' Isabelle thought to herself, before doubting whether she had. Isabelle turned her gaze toward her mother's door, noting it was shut and hearing her mom still talking on the phone. For a moment, Isabelle wondered....but no. 'I just didn't shut it all the way,' Isabelle concluded. She was sure of that. Isabelle turned her gaze back to her door, and pushed her hand out, opening the door so that she could enter. Upon stepping into the, the smell of her pants and panties was far, far stronger, and Isabelle recognized that it would need to be addressed immediately. 'At least it doesn't smell in the hallway yet,' Isabelle said gratefully, as she turned to collect her wet clothes. Using the dry section of her pants as a sort of glove, Isabelle grabbed her cold, wet panties, and dropped both together into her hamper. 'I need to cover these with more stuff,' Isabelle thought, looking around her room for more clothes, and finding none that were dirty. Isabelle pondered what to do as she reflected on the morning. Isabelle was a little surprised she had even let herself forget about her....laundry, upstairs, even for just a minute while she was eating her breakfast. 'God forbid mom had actually come in here,' Isabelle almost laughed to herself. It was silly that her mind had even departed the need for laundry. Isabelle decided that she would strip her bed and wash her sheets. That would, of course, be the best way to cover her wet clothes. So Isabelle went about taking her comforter off of her bed, and pulling the fitted sheet, together with the top sheet, off of her bed. Isabelle then proceeded to take her pillow cases off, before pushing all of her sheets down into her hamper, concealing her shame. Isabelle than picked the basket up, nearly falling over from the weight of it, and began walking down the stairs toward the basement As soon as she left, Isabelle nearly bumped into her mom at the stairs. 'Oh, sorry sweetie. I didn't see you there," Jane said, before continuing, "Doing laundry? I think that's a great idea." Jane smiled, and directed Isabelle down the stairs. Isabelle stared at her mom, trying to read her, before simple descending the stairs, all the way to the basement. Once there, Isabelle threw all of her clothes and sheets into the washer, poured some discount detergent in, closed the lid, and selected the longest cycle available - "Heavily soiled." The irony of the name did not escape Isabelle. Isabelle stayed downstairs and watched some TV for the next hour and a half while the laundry cycle ran, running upstairs periodically to try and pee on the toilet, finding success every time. Isabelle wasn't sure why she was proud of that fact, but, in truth, she was. Just as her third episode of Rover Roo ended, the washing machine made a loud, ear piercing *BEEP* to inform Isabelle the cycle was completed. Isabelle lifted herself off of the couch, returned to the washer, and swapped her clothes and sheets into the dryer. Isabelle made a point of inspecting her panties and pants before doing so, to ensure they didn't smell. 'Look good to me,' she thought. As soon as she made the swap, Isabelle's mom came down the stairs, and opened up the linen closet where they stored extra towels, sheets, pillow cases, and other supplies. Jane started pulling a few things out before proposing that they go out and get whatever supplies Isabelle needed for school. "Sounds great mom. We can go now," Isabelle suggested. Jane smiled, "Okay sweetie, let me just bring these upstairs and well head off." Isabelle went upstairs and waited on the living room couch for her mom to come back down. After about 15 minutes, Jane descended, and the two headed into the car together/ "How about lunch first?" Jane asked Isabelle, as she was buckling in her seatbelt, finding the strap was coming up against her shoulder and neck a little too high. Isabelle did her best to adjust it, before agreeing, "sounds great mom." Jane took off, and made a point of stopping for some fast food for lunch - a rare treat for Isabelle, as it rarely occurred. Isabelle and Jane opted to go inside, Jane remarking that she didn't want anyone "spilling in the car," as though that was likely. After ordering, Isabelle and Jane sat at a table near the playground, as it was the only one available, and ate quickly to a chorus of giggles, laughter, and stomping around the various tubes, slides, and ball pits that the kids were running around. "Not so long ago that you were running around in there," Jane said to Isabelle with a wink. Isabelle snorted before replying, "L.O.L. mom. Its been a long time." The conversation ended at that. Isabelle spent the rest of the afternoon running errands with her mom, and going to Rulers to get her school supplies. It only occurred to her when she and her mom were browsing the highlighters that she had not had her coffee that morning, and was feeling rather out of sorts about that. Once they were finished, Isabelle's mom put all of the bags into the front seat of the car, leaving Isabelle to ride in the back. And though her mom had promoted the outing, she had only mentioned school supplies; there was no mention of going to the bank, and the pharmacy, and to a store to pick up a gift. Isabelle was starting to grow frustrated with the trip - ' this is not what I agreed to.' Apparently Isabelle's face had revealed her feelings. Jane, spotting her in the rearview mirror, started teasing her a bit "Aw. Is someone grumpy back there? You used to love running errands with me!" Jane said, thinking on a time when that was true. Before Isabelle could answer, Jane continued "Don't worry, we are heading home now." Isabelle quickly corrected her attitude, happy to find out they would be going home. Isabelle carried her school supplies in, dropping them at the front door before darting to the bathroom to pee - 'I really need to go,' she thought, slamming her rear end against the toilet seat as soon as she managed to drop her pants. Isabelle wrapped up in the bathroom on the main floor, she stepped out, heading back to the front door to collect her school supplies. Only they weren't there, "Mom," Isabelle called out, "where is the stuff from Rulers?" Isabelle could hear her mom respond from downstairs, but couldn't exactly hear what she had said. Isabelle made her way closer to the door to the basement, and asked her mom to repeat herself. "I couldn't hear you mom, where are they?" Jane made her way to the staircase. As soon as Isabelle saw her, she noticed that her mom was clutching her now clean and dry sheets. "I said I put them down in your room hunny." Isabelle was starring at her mother, now uninterested in hte school supplies. "Why are you folding my sheets mom?" Isabelle asked. Part of her was still concerned that her mom had......but she hadn't, of course. Jane smiled at her daughter. "Oh I don't mind sweetie. I just didn't want to forget folding your things. I'll bring your clothes up when I am done. Why don't you go up and pack your things for tomorrow! Its going to be a big day!" Jane finished, before turning back to the laundry room to finish folding her daughter's clothes. Isabelle pondered the idea for a minutes, but instead, decided to take her mom's advice and headed to her room. As Isabelle was climbing the stairs, her mind ventured to what she might expect tomorrow. Her teachers, friends, and classmates would all be treating her like she was younger. She simply needed to play along, and further explore what was happening. Isabelle decided she would use her spare time between classes to head to the library, and see if she could take any books out on the brain, comas, and other potential neurological diseases. 'It's as good of a place I have to start as any," Isabelle thought, as she pushed her closed bedroom door opened. What Isabelle was confronted with. however, was not her bedroom. Or at least, not the bedroom she left. Isabelle's eyes were immediately drawn to her bed. Gone was her intricately designed white and grey comforter. Gone were the two new end tables on either side of her bed. And gone were the drapes covering the windows flanking either side of her bed. Except all of those things were still there - they just weren't the same. Instead, her bed was covered in......'oh god.' The sheets covering her bed were pink...pink with white polka dots. The fitted sheet matched perfectly to the top sheet, which was folded over her...'new?'...comforter on her bed. The upper half of the comforter was turquoise, with white patterned diagonal lines running through the solid color. Isabelle's eyes followed the comforter to the bottom half, which was all white, with designed flowers protruding out of various spots. The wall behind her bed, which was once bare, now sported golden polka dots as well, in an asymmetrical pattern, as though to look like they emerged from her bed. The only thing that appeared the same were her pastel pink drapes, but even those seemed....more juvenile. Isabelle was in shock, but the shock did not end there. There were other changes, subtle, but obvious to her. Her bed still was loaded with pillows...but not the same ones. One pillow just had a flower on it. Another, a quote that said Dream Love Sparkle ..."where did that come from?' Rabbity, of course, was safe and sound, front and center on the bed. 'At least that's the same.' Isabelle wondered what had happened, though to be honest, the new décor had put a smile on her face for some reason. The dresser against the near wall looked...cleaner? On top of it, photos of Isabelle and her mom were stacked from side to side, from vacations that Isabelle couldn't quite remember at this moment. On the far wall, her desk, while seemingly the same, looked extremely tidy. Gone were the pictures with her friends, and in place, little toys and gimmicks Isabelle had once liked to collect. It actually put a smile on her face to see them again...'but those aren't supposed to be there....are they?' Isabelle didn't know what to think. "Everything...everything is..." Isabelle as about to say the word 'wrong' - that everything was wrong. But she couldn't. She couldn't even let the last word escape her mouth. Isabelle stood there silently, trying to gather her thoughts, trying to gather what was wrong. But nothing was - everything felt......"it all feels right," Isabelle said aloud. But that was wrong. Isabelle knew that wrong. It wasn't right. 'But also it is......' Isabelle was struggling immensely with what was going on. It was weighing on her. It was breaking her, breaking her mind..... In that moment, Isabelle couldn't even tell herself what her room had looked like that morning. She had absolutely no memory of it. She knew, of course, that something was not the same, but couldn't for the life of her, figure it out "I'll just ask mom later," Isabelle told herself. Isabelle simply, without questioning anything any further, made her way to the Rulers bags, and carried them over to her desk, and started unpacking everything and putting it on her desk where it belonged. Isabelle did it with a smile, placing each new pen, pencil, marker, highlighter, and folder away with precision, making it as aesthetically pleasing as possible. It took Isabelle quite a bit of time before she was finished. As she was placing the last binder away above her desk, Isabelle heard her mom knock on her door. "Hi sweetie - everything okay up here?" Isabelle turned, startled by her mom's knock. "Yes mom. But one thing. What did you do to my room?" The question was genuine, and open ended, as Isabelle didn't know what had been done. Jane smiled. "I'm glad you noticed." Isabelle inched closer to the edge of her desk chair excited to find out the answer. Jane continued. "I just cleaned up a little bit, you really can't leave your room a mess like that sweetie," Jane said, with a hint of disappointment, before going on. "And if I can't trust you to do your laundry often enough, I am going to have to come in here and do it for you. It was a little smelly in here this morning. Now, come down for dinner." Isabelle was disappointed in herself at that remark. But Isabelle was even more concerned that her mom had come in that morning. 'Did she,....." *gulp*...'seeee?...ohgawd.' And she knew her mom had done more with her room. But Isabelle just couldn't figure out what it was. 'What is happening to me...?' This would have to be yet another clue to study. And Isabelle was genuinely concerned now about whether her mom knew she had wet the bed. And if her mom had seen, had she put two and two together about what had happened at Jess's the night prior. "...No. There's no way. Mom would have definitely brought that all up. Even if it, quite literally, is unbelievable.' Isabelle convinced herself she was right. She needed to. The rest of the evening was uneventful. Isabelle and her mom had dinner together before watching some television. Isabelle did her best to pay attention to whatever show they were watching together, but in truth, she was distracted. Distracted about her mom's remarks, distracted with her plan for the next day, distracted about her room, and distracted with everything that was happening to her. It was mentally exhausting, and the mental exhaustion started taking on a physical exhaustion. And so, whether conscious or not, at some point while they were on the basement couch together, Isabelle's head fell into her mom's lap. Isabelle's eyes were open long enough to watch a few more minutes of TV. She was conscious long enough to feel her mom's hand brush across her cheek, and stroke her hair. She was awake long enough to know, that she had fallen asleep with a smile on her face. *** *** ......."sweetie.....it's time to go to bed." Isabelle awoke to her mom gently shaking her, and whispering into her ear. "Isabelle hunny....time for bed. Big day tomorrow." Isabelle groggily picked her head up, before picking her body up, and heading up to her room. Rather than engage in her normal routine, Isabelle simply changed into a new sleeping shirt, and climbed under her pink polka dot sheets, slipping back into dreamland.

Hello, and welcome to the next part of Doing Business. Think of this as a little intermission in between Seasons 2 and 3. For the next four weeks, you'll be getting short stories from the perspectives of other characters in Doing Business besides Clark. Then, we'll take another short break before Season 3 rolls out. Now, if you're the impatient type, might I suggest subscribing to my Patreon? All of my subscribers already have access to the Memorandum series and are actually getting the first chapter of Season 3 today! And for only $3 a month, you could be reading that in advance as well! Memorandums, Episode One: A Day with Ava 7:15 AM “I had to throw out some english muffins this morning because they went stale. The package wasn’t even opened yet. And then I looked at the milk in the fridge and that’s barely been touched. I’m going to bet that if I look at the box of cereal in the cabinet, that’s still sealed shut. Seriously, Ava, are you even eating breakfast? I keep buying you this food, only to have to throw it away because you ignore it.” Which answer was worse: that Ava was eating breakfast–it just wasn’t the food that her mother was buying? Or what her breakfast actually consisted of? Neither sounded like particularly great answers. “Sorry.” “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” her mother said, hands still on her hips. “That’s what they say.” Who were they? Were they big-breakfast? Big corporations who said things like that so parents stocked up on breakfast foods? “I know, I know,” Ava said. “I, uh, just get so busy in the morning and…” “You used to eat breakfast everyday,” her mother said, shaking her head. “And ever since you started at that job in the city, you never do. Please don’t tell me you’re spending all your money on overpriced lattes and muffins at the chain coffee shops.” “N-no…” “So you’re just…not eating?” “Uhm…my office serves us breakfast,” Ava said, shrugging. It was sort of true. “What are they serving you?” Please, Mom. Don’t make me have to keep lying. “You know…all kinds of stuff. …Milk?” “Milk? They serve you milk? Sweetie, that’s not breakfast. You need more than milk.” “I promise. I’m getting breakfast.” “So should I stop buying breakfast food for the house?” “I mean…maybe it’d be good to have around on the weekends. Maybe just buy less of it? During the week, I’m all set.” “I worry about you, Ava.” “I know, Mom. But I’m a big girl.” Sort of. Ava was wearing a diaper as she said that to her mother–a wet diaper, at that. Soon, she’d be grabbing her backpack and heading out the door to go to work, where she’d be breastfed by her boss. None of that supported her claims of being a ‘big girl.’ Actually, it was a bit of a miracle that her mother didn’t know more about Ava’s secret life at work. As far as Ava knew, her mother was never the nosiest of mothers–she seemed to respect Ava’s privacy and autonomy as a blossoming adult. But that trust had left Ava with the takeaway that she could be a little lazier. Her diapers weren’t all that well hidden. There was probably a pacifier sitting on her nightstand. And eventually, her mother would ask why Ava never had panties in her laundry basket. On top of that, she had been wearing diapers pretty regularly, even when she wasn’t at work. These weren’t thin and discrete undergarments–these were giant diapers that were as fluffy as they were crinkly. She sometimes wondered if she was daring her mother to notice. Did she just want the curtain to be pulled back so that she didn’t have to make the effort–no matter how small–to hide who she was now? Ava felt she knew her mother well enough that she’d be able to tell if her mother did know. As of right now, that didn’t seem to be the case. But it seemed inevitable. 7:40 AM Ava’s mother often asked if Ava was looking to date anyone–a question asked so often, it had devolved into the simple query: ‘Any prospects?’ Translated from the language of maternal love, it meant, roughly: ‘Hey, I love you, but you’re getting a little bit older and I wonder when you’re going to get move out, find a partner, get married, have children, and–eventually–take care of me after I retire.’ Not an exact translation, but this is what it often felt like. Worse, the question had embedded itself in Ava’s psyche, and she found the question bubbling up in her thoughts regularly these days. Like as she walked down the street to the subway station to go to work. Any prospects? No, probably not. Yes, she was in love. But it was a different sort of love than the kind reserved for boyfriends. Or…girlfriends–she hadn’t quite figured out how she felt about that yet. But she knew love. And it was, as most romantic things are, complicated. Neve Beaufort, Vice President of Product Development. A transplant from Toronto, with her mother actually having spent most of her life in Paris–which probably explained Neve’s spellbinding accent. Two short years ago, Ava had been called into Neve’s office for a meeting that would change the course of her life forever. Amusingly enough, Ava couldn’t even remember how that conversation went. In fact, she’d often try to imagine what conversation could’ve convinced her to start wearing diapers and suckling from her boss’s breasts, but none ever seemed all that plausible. Maybe I was drugged. Hypnotized. Magic? It didn’t really matter to her much now–this was just how it was these days. She was a baby. Any prospects? Well, there was this newish boy in the office named Clark. The two even had a bit in common already–with him being in diapers himself. Two people, roughly the same age, made to wear diapers and act like infants at work–maybe that was a recipe for some sort of connection. Make no mistake, Ava liked her arrangement with Ms. Beaufort. But it wasn’t like she could tell other people about it. But she could talk to Clark about it, and he’d know exactly what she was talking about. Plus, he was cute. Kind. He seemed to genuinely care about people. Who knows–she might have had a crush on him even if he wasn’t wearing diapers. Alas, he seemed a little too far up Ms. Heller’s bottom to be able to reciprocate those feelings. Not that she could blame him–it looked like a nice place to be. She had fantasized a few times about visiting Ms. Heller’s ass herself. Any prospects? No, probably not. And that was fine. She’d just live her best baby life until she couldn’t anymore. 8:55 AM “Good morning, Darling. I do adore that skirt on you.” Ms. Beaufort was waiting at her office door, as she usually was in the morning, waiting for Ava. “Thank you,” Ava said, blushing a little. She had hoped Ms. Beaufort would’ve noticed–she bought the cream-colored skirt because she knew Ms. Beaufort would’ve approved. “Hungry?” The question would never not make Ava blush. Too, Ava would always be hungry for Ms. Beaufort’s milk. “Y-yes.” “Well then, let’s have a look at your diaper first...” Ava was already turning herself around and bending over–she knew the routine by now. She felt Ms. Beaufort lifting the back of her skirt into the air so she could closely examine Ava’s diaper. A hand felt and cupped the padding–part of the inspection, but a part that always gave Ava’s nerves a pleasurable little tingle. “Just a little wet,” Ms. Beaufort reported. “I suspect this one will last a little longer, what do you think?” “You’re probably right,” Ava said. Truth be told, Ava was never the best judge of how close to capacity her diapers were. She had a bit of a reputation–first with Ms. Beaufort and now with Lyndie–for being prone to leaks. Rarely ever was it a severe leak–just little damp patches in her pants or skirts. But any leak could prove dangerous while in the office. Ms. Beaufort would try to put Ava’s mind at ease when a little leak had sprung, saying things like: ‘Nobody walks around the office staring at other people’s asses.’ It was nice to hear, but she didn’t believe it to be true. “On second thought,” Ms. Beaufort said, shaking her head, “I feel like I’m going to regret that later when you come back to my office with a wet spot on the back of your skirt. And with that color skirt? I think it’d be a bit obvious. I’ll feed you first, and then change your diaper.” “Yes, of course,” Ava said, obediently nodding. “So if you’ve got anything left in you, you might as well fill the diaper now.” Ava had another reputation, too–incredibly stinky diapers. Ava didn’t actually believe that her soiled diapers smelled that much worse than anyone else’s would’ve, but maybe she just lacked the experience to know better. She suspected that people just said this to her because they knew how badly it embarrassed her to hear it. But this reputation–truly earned or not–had given her a little anxiety about using her diapers at work. She had heard the stories about Clark being made to tromp around in his smelly pants, and she was thankful that Ms. Beaufort had never expected the same from her. If Ava was going to mess herself in the office, this was probably the time to do it. “We’ve got a busy day,” Ms. Beaufort said. “Let’s get it started.” This was a pretty standard start to the day, Ms. Beaufort planting herself on the far end of the small sofa in her office, unbuttoning her blouse and loosening her bra, while Ava positioned herself across the rest of the sofa–her head supported by Ms. Beaufort’s hand as Ava latched onto the nipple. As Ava began to suckle, Ms. Beaufort took a moment or two to settle herself with a gentle moan before going over the day’s itinerary. “We have that meeting with, uff, Paul Fellows over on the 4th floor today. I’m grateful for how hard, mmm, you tried to get that meeting cancelled or rescheduled, but it’s not your fault the man is so damn stubborn. Honestly, it’s probably for the best we get this meeting over with. The sooner we talk to him, the, mmf, longer we have until the next time we have to discuss expense accounts.” Ava gave an approving moan directly into Ms. Beaufort’s tit as she continued her meal. “There’s another meeting this afternoon with the creative team. I’m not sure why we were invited to this one, it’s regarding projects that we, ohh, aren’t going to be responsible for. But that’s fine–I do love a meeting we can daydream our way through.” Another subtle, wet, mumble from Ava’s lips. “Careful down there,” Ms. Beaufort said, gently stroking Ava’s hair with her free hand. “I didn’t put your bib on you today, and I’d hate to see you dribble all over your top.” Few things made Ava blush as much as needing a bib wrapped around her neck before she began to suckle from Ms. Beaufort’s dress. Even the mention of it now had turned her cheeks a lovely shade of fuschia. “Anyway,” Ms. Beaufort continued, getting back on topic, “it’s looking like a pretty standard day. If you haven’t finished compiling the numbers from the, errm, sales team yet, I was hoping to have them ready by tomorrow morning. Do you think that’s doable?” “Mmhmm,” Ava answered, face still pressed tightly against her breast. “Very good. Now then, let’s finish feeding you so we can get on with our day. Oh–and don’t forget to finish filling up your diaper.” Ava made a half-hearted effort to push on her bowels, but the tank seemed empty for now. Probably for the best. But another wetting seemed quite possible, and she allowed herself to flood her already-moist diaper. Ava had long maintained that using her diaper while breastfeeding was a pleasure unlike any other–near orgasmic at times. Someday, she hoped, she’d reach climax just from pissing her diaper while sucking from Ms. Beaufort’s chest. “I know that look,” Ms. Beaufort said. “Is someone piddling their pants?” Ava offered a little nod. “Thought so. Get it all out. We’ll get you into a fresh diaper and then we’ll get started on the less-fun parts of our day.” 11:15 AM “What are you doing for lunch today?” Lyndie asked. Ava had made few friends in the post-college world, and she resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to build a new social network in the office while wearing a diaper. Maybe this was why she had been so excited about the new addition of Clark and Lyndie to her world. Clark was, well, a cute boy–and it had been a while since she was excited about one of those. Lyndie was something else, though. She was cool. Calm and collected. Compassionate, but snarky. She was the big sister Ava had always wished she had–even if she was pretty sure that Lyndie was younger than she was. Sometimes, Ava just wanted to be sitting in front of a TV that played a trashy reality TV show while her and Lyndie stared ahead in pajamas. Sometimes, she wondered what Lyndie’s lips tasted like. “I, uhm, didn’t have any plans,” Ava responded. “Not milk?” Lyndie teased. “N-no…that was breakfast.” “Good. How about you and me go grab some pizza for lunch.” “That sounds great,” Ava said, tapping the imaginary brakes so that she didn’t sound too excited. “I assume that Clark is coming?” “I’ve had enough of him and his smelly bottom for today.” Ava wasn’t exactly sure what the context was for this gripe, but she could use her imagination a little. “I promise I won’t, uh, stink.” Lyndie snort-laughed and nodded. “All I’m asking for is an hour without having to smell someone’s dirty diaper. You can handle that, right?” Ava shrugged. “Pretty sure.” 12:10 PM Ava was in no rush to touch her steaming-hot pizza. First hand experience had taught her to be wary of the catastrophic damage the hot cheese would do to the roof of her mouth. Lyndie, on the other hand, either had no regard for the safety of her mouth, or she had a mouth like a furnace–capable of ingesting fiery hot coals if she had to. There was no hesitation on her part, she simply lifted the slab of molten cheese and sauce and shoved it into her mouth. No flinching. No obvious pain. No expression that would suggest that she had made a terrible mistake. Ava was in awe. “So,” Lyndie said, swallowing the last of her initial bite of pizza. “Is it weird that I don’t know that much about you? I’ve changed your diapers, and yet I have no idea what you’re into.” The statement was offered with such blase indifference that it took Ava a moment to realize that she had just openly talked about her diapers at the pizza place. Her cheeks were glowing, but she did her best to match Lyndie’s nonchalant tone. “Y-yeah, that is pretty funny,” she replied. “Well, what do you want to know? You’ve seen the worst of me, I guess. Seems like there’s no point in hiding anything else.” “The worst?” Lyndie asked, grinning mischievously. “I’ve heard about the putrid diapers you’re capable of. I haven’t experienced that just yet.” Ava shrugged, her cheeks turning a deeper pink. “Uh, yeah, Ms. Beaufort does seem to like to tell people that… I’ve never really had anything to compare it to though. Maybe Ms. Beaufort hasn’t either. And so if Clark is going to be messing his diaper too…” “Oh, this is a good idea,” Lyndie said, nodding as she started chewing her next bite. “We’ll have a stink-off to see which baby makes a more revolting diaper.” “I don’t think I’d want to win that.” “I’m making a note of this in my phone,” Lyndie said, quickly tapping away at the screen of her phone. “But go on, I still want to know more about you. Favorite…band?” “I usually tell people it’s The Beach Boys.” “But your actual favorite band is…” Ava cringed a little. “BTS?” “I don’t think I know what that is.” “The, uhm, K-Pop boy band?” “Oh right,” Lyndie said, chuckling behind her hand. “Well…I mean, you like what you like…” “Their songs are catchy,” Ava said, sounding like she was trying to justify it to herself too. “I don’t know. It’s a guilty pleasure.” “There’s no such thing,” Ava said. “If it brings you pleasure, it’s just a pleasure. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it.” “I guess I could say the same for diapers…” “Find them to be pleasurable, do you?” “Maybe,” Ava said. “It’s not just diapers, though. It’s everything–the big picture. The coddling and the way that Ms. Beaufort takes care of me.” “The breastmilk?” Ava laughed, seeming to shake some of the nervous energy she had at the start of her meal. “Oh my god. It’s my favorite thing in the entire world. You have to try it.” Now it was Lyndie who was blushing a little. “Me? Oh, I dunno. I’m not a, uh, baby myself and…” “I’m positive that I could convince Ms. Beaufort to let you try sometime. If you wanted.” “I’ll think about that.” “Please do,” Ava said. “Back to you, though. Live alone?” “No. I live with my mother.” “That sounds…dangerous. You don’t go waltzing around the house in a diaper, do you? Or…does she know?” “No, she doesn’t know,’ Ava said, sighing a little. “Or, at least, I pray that she doesn’t know. I try to be careful around her, but…I know I’m slipping a little. Getting a little too comfortable with my role as baby, you know?” “That makes sense,” Lyndie replied. “What about you?” Ava asked. “I feel like I don’t know you all that well myself. Do you live alone?” “Not yet,” Lyndie said. “But I’m working on it.” “This sounds interesting.” “I’m living with my ex. We just broke up a few weeks ago. He swears he’s trying to get a new place to live but it seems to be taking forever.” “Oh jeez,” Ava said, shaking her head. “That sounds terrible. Do the two of you get along?” “Not especially,” Lyndie laughed. “Even that foundation of friendship gets trashed when someone cheats on you.” “I’m so sorry. I hope you get out of that situation soon.” “Me too. I suspect he’s going to be gone sooner than later. If I’m being honest, I’ve never been all that excited about living alone–but I think I’d prefer that to living with him.” “Well, uh, if you do manage to get his ass out the door and you’re looking for a new roommate…” “Yeah?” Lyndie asked, eyebrows raised as she smiled. “You’d be interested?” “I’ve never lived on my own before, so I can’t promise I’d be the best roommate.” “And you do smell bad. Supposedly.” “I would never want to subject you to my diapers both in the office and at home, though.” “I’m just teasing,” Lyndie said. “I love the idea, personally. If you’re serious, that’d only give me more ammunition to push my ex out the door.” “I think…I’d really like that,” Ava said, nodding and smiling as she imagined the perfect world where she got to live with someone as cool as Lyndie. “I think I’d like that too,” Lyndie replied. 1:35 PM “We’re due in that meeting with creative in a few minutes,” Ms. Beaufort said from behind her desk. “How are you doing on the reporting from sales? If you need the extra time to get that done, I’m thinking you don’t have to join me at this meeting.” “All done,” Ava said proudly. “I just shared the file with you a few minutes ago.” “Good girl,” Ms. Beaufort replied, smiling wide. “And your diaper?” “Damp,” Ava said. “Bend over, love. I should probably check it again now. That meeting is going to be a long one.” 3:40 PM “I thought that meeting was only supposed to be a half hour long,” Ava said to Ms. Beaufort as they quickly marched down the hall towards Ms. Beaufort’s office. “Almost two hours!” Ms. Beaufort exclaimed. “Such a waste of time.” “I, uhm… I think I might have…” “Why do you think we’re walking so quickly?” she said to Ava. “You’ve got a damp spot on the back of your skirt. How much did you wet yourself during that meeting?” “I had a lot to drink at lunch, I guess.” “Tsk tsk,” Ms. Beaufort clucked, sounding only half-sarcastic. “I’m wondering if I need to get you thicker diapers.” “I…I dunno about that. These are pretty loud as is.” “I think about it. But what’s the point of diapers if you’re going to keep leaking through them?” “Why don’t you head down to the nursery. Let Lyndie take care of you. I would, but…I’m expecting a guest or two in my office in a few minutes.” “S-sure,” Ava replied. 3:50 PM “Oh, come on,” Lyndie cooed. “It won’t be that bad.” “No way! I’m not just going to…poop myself for your pleasure.” “You wouldn’t be doing it just for my pleasure,” Lyndie shrugged. “You haven’t pooped all day, right?” “Right…” “So you probably have to go. And you’re in the nursery already. Why not just…do it.” “I don’t know,” Ava said. “It would be so weird. Having someone watch me…go?” “Do you know how many times I’ve watched Clark fill his diaper?” “R-really? How many times?” “Well, maybe just once or twice. But that still seems like enough. I promise, this will stay between you and me. Just fill up your diaper, and then we’ll get you onto the changing table and into something fresher.” “You’re…not going to make fun of me?” “Oh, I might do that,” Lyndie laughed. “But I’m going to take care of you too.” With a little more coaxing, and a number of sighs, Ava found herself squatting in the center of the nursery, pushing a sizable log into the back of her diaper. She groaned and grunted as she pushed, all the while, catching glimpses of Lyndie’s smiling face from the corner of her eye. 5:15 PM Ava walked down the street, heading towards the subway station. Another day down. Usually, this walk was a peaceful one–a time to distance herself from the chaos of the workday, while centering herself in preparation for another night of wearing diapers at home without her mother finding out. Today, however, she had a lot to think about. Stink-offs–whatever they were. The possibility of thicker diapers. Pooping her pants with an audience. And Lyndie. The idea of being able to live with Lyndie was very exciting. Living with her mother had been fine, but it had also been a little stifling. There had been little growth. Little finding herself. She needed to blossom. She needed to…grow up. While wearing diapers, of course. Ava wasn’t ready to give those up anytime soon. 7:15 PM “How was work today?” her mother asked. Neither had ever planned for it to be like this, but a routine had developed over the last few years. Ava would come home from work, change into some more comfortable clothes, and then they’d have dinner together. Then, her mother would put a kettle on the stove and make some tea for them. Over a cup of hot tea, and usually with some dessert of some sort, they’d talk about their days. Tonight, they were splitting a sticky bun. “It was, uhm, good,” Ava answered, glazing over the leaking diaper and stinky mess of her afternoon. Ava wanted to bring up the prospect of moving in with Lyndie, but she decided she wasn’t ready for that conversation just yet. It might have been too soon, for one–Lyndie didn’t even have the vacancy just yet. But, also, Ava wasn’t sure how her mother would take the news. Surely she knew that Ava would have to move out at some point, but that didn’t make the conversation any easier. “I wanted to ask you about something,” her mother said. “Hmm?” Ava replied, a little absentmindedly. She was thinking about what her imaginary room in Lyndie’s apartment would look like. “I had to go into your room today. I didn’t want to snoop around or anything, but I thought you might still have the vacuum cleaner in your room.” Now she had Ava’s attention. “Oh, right,” Ava said, cautiously. “I should’ve returned that to the closet the other day. I assume you found it?” “I did,” her mother said, nodding. “But I also found some other things that didn’t make a lot of sense to me.” Ava’s heart pounded in her chest. “Oh? Like…what?” “Diapers? Pacifiers?” Red alert. Red alert. This was the moment that Ava had been trying to prepare herself for since the very first night she wore a diaper home from work. But no amount of stressing or thinking about it had ever prepared her for the actual moment her mother confronted her about it. “Ava…are you one of those people who like to dress up as a…baby?”

What're you talking about? It was a huge, unexpected twist! Isabelle is much too big of a girl to require such things, don't be absurd. It was a single accident! Could happen to anyone! The Ballet Slippers - Chapter 16 Panic set in, and took control of Isabelle. 'What on earth just happened.' Isabelle had woken up from her deep sleep, startled by the calls from Jess upstairs. Her focus first went to Jess, to the kids, to her job. But immediately thereafter, it went to the warmth, pooling in her pants. Isabelle immediately recognized what was happening. Fortunately - if you can call it that - she had only appeared to start peeing when Jess called her, or sometime around that. Isabelle's first reaction was to cut off her pee, immediately squeezing her thighs together, and stemming the stream. Underneath her pants, Isabelle could tell her panties were thoroughly soaked. But she needed to assess the damage to her pants. Isabelle popped off of the couch with renewed vigor. The panic had her heart rate racing, her body working purely off of adrenaline at this stage. Isabelle's slippers made contact with the floor, and the rest of her body was lifted. Despite having wet herself, Isabelle noted that her ascent was rather graceful, and for some reason, was proud of that fact. 'Really, Iz? Now is not the time,' she chastised herself, though with little credibility. At that moment, Isabelle heard Jess call again for her. "Isabelle? Where are you? Is everything okay?" Jess's voice had just a hint of concern in it. Isabelle knew she had to respond. "Sorry Jess. Yes. Yes. Everything is fine. I am just downstairs. DONT...I mean no need to come down here. I ugh.....ugh...I am coming up in a sec!" Isabelle regretted the emphasis she had placed on the word 'don't,' and so tried to end on a cheerier note, and project some confidence." Isabelle turned back to herself to assess the damage. Though she was wearing dark navy pants, and despite cutting her pee off prematurely, the damage was clear as day: a large, wet patch was clear as could be, right in her crotch where her pants had soaked up her pee. As Isabelle tugged her pants around, she noted that it extended behind her as well, having pooled around her butt a bit, and the large, circular stain was visible front to back. Isabelle was humiliated. 'How could I have allowed this to happen. How could this have happened?!? What the heck is going on with me?' Isabelle felt like crying, right then and there. The smell did not help her cause - it was clear someone had peed down here. There was no way to cover that up. In fact, at this moment, Isabelle was convinced nothing would stop her from exactly that - crying. 'It's the only sensible thing to do...' And then the real terror took over, creeping up her body like a scarab. Isabelle turned her head, ever so slowly to the left, and down. And as she did. She noticed the stain. She had peed on the couch. It shouldn't have been surprising to her. Pants, of course, were not intended to absorb pee like that. 'And it had happened, though rarely, in the past when one of the......' .... ... 'That was it.' Isabelle thought, quietly to herself. Her heart had stabilized to a still rapid, vicious beat. But she had her solution. 'I cannot believe I am about to do this.' Isabelle was ashamed that she had wet herself, and equally ashamed about what she was about to do. 'But what choice do I have?' Isabelle immediately took off her sweatshirt, and began tying it around her waist. The bulk of the wetness in her pants was visible from the rear, and so she did her best to let the body of the sweatshirt cover that part of her pants up. There was no mirror downstairs, but based on her review, Isabelle had done a pretty decent job. Isabelle looked down at the front of her pants. She had tied the sweatshirt arms over one wet spot, but it wouldn't be enough. Mind scrambling, eyes, darting, Isabelle's attention turned to the laundry room. She sprinted her way over there, searching desperately for what she hoped...'YES'. Isabelle had found her treasure - a bucket of cleaning supplies. Isabelle pulled the entire bucket out, and went to the couch. She grabbed one spray bottle of cleaning solution - no attention was paid to the type, - and began applying it to the area of the couch where......'where I peed.' Isabelle then stashed the cleaning solution back in the bucket, and carried the entire cleaning bucket up with her toward the stairs. 'If I do this right, they'll never know,' Isabelle told herself. It would need to be perfect. Isabelle's heart raced faster with each step she took up the stairs. The silence of her prowl up the stairs was palpable, fearful that each time her ballet slipper made contact with the next stair, it might creak. Stealthily, Isabelle reached for the doorknob, twisting it, and pushing the door open, quickly retreating her hand to the cleaning bucket, and positioning it oddly near her crotch, covering the stain. Isabelle took a deep breath, and emerged. Almost immediately, Isabelle was confronted by Jess's warm smile. It put Isabelle at ease, so much so that for the first time since she woke up, she noticed that she still needed to pee. Isabelle began to notice, at once, the cool, slimminess of her underwear, nestled against her, a single drop of....pee....dripping from it and trickling down her leg. The droplet send goosebumps down her spine. "Hi Iz! How was everyth......what's with the bucket? Did something happen?" Isabelle watched Jess's smile fade, shifting to concern. Isabelle was prepared for the question, she only hoped her excuse would work. "Hey Jess....Yah, kids were great. They listened, and ate, and were pretty good the whole night," Isabelle started. "They both went to sleep pretty easily, though I expect Eric will have a surprise for you in the morning," Isabelle delivered with a smile. Humor would help her deal with this, she prayed. It was the moment of truth. "There was...ummm...one problem, butisnobiddealIllfixit!" Isabelle stammered the last sentence into one word. Jess had eased up, but was still waiting to hear why Isabelle was holding a cleaning bucket. "You see....Uhh after Eric went to bed...uh...Becky, see, she uh.....she wanted to play hide and seek. So I told her that was fine." Isabelle hoped her lie was convincing. She herself was hardly convinced of it. Isabelle continued. "See....Becky was doing so good with the potty - I mean bathroom all night. I kept checking her. And she was dry all night, you see." If Isabelle was about to throw this toddler under the bus, she would at least have the good graces to build her up first. "so..uh....uh...Becky wanted to hide first, and I said that was fine. So I was counting, and I heard her pitter patter down the stairs, you know, how they pitter patter, right?" Jess's smile returned at this. Unbeknownst to Isabelle, Jess knew exactly where this was going. She was, after all, a mom. But Jess allowed Isabelle to continue. And continue Isabelle did. "So I must have only been 'searching' for like 2 or 3 minutes. You know,.....I uh...wanted to let her feel good about herself. And then I went downstairs to find her and get her ready for bed, you see?" Isabelle couldn't believe what she was about to do. In fact, it wasn't too late to back out. She could confess. Sure, it would be mortifying. But it would be the grown up thing to do. Her mom's recent words to her echoed in her mind: "the truth is sweetie, what you're going to have to learn to do, what a grown up learns to do, is that you need to accept the things that are happening, let them happen, all of it. And once you do, you can learn how to deal with those things." Maybe Isabelle just needed to accept that this happened...that she was having bladder issues, and fess up to Jess. Not only was it...well...true, but it was the right thing to do. ... ... 'Are you nuts?' Isabelle thought to herself, snapping out of her moment of honesty. 'You can't tell this woman you peed on her couch. I will literally die.' And so, Isabelle proceeded with her lie - 'there really is no other option!' "So I went to the basement, and on my way down there, I could hear some sobbing, you see." Isabelle would have to be careful about this next part, especially since there was quite a bit of pee for a toddler on that couch. It needed to be plausible, even if it was at Becky's expense. "So I started rushing because I was worried that Becky had hurt herself. But on my to her, I deduced what it really was." Isabelle took a breath, and went on. "Next to the couch I found Becky's dry pullup. She must have taken it off, maybe because she thought the noise would reveal her spot," Isabelle proposed, trying to make Becky come out of this in the best light possible. It wasn't working, as Jess literally covered her mouth with aghast at hearing this. There was no backing out now, though. "And so I found her under a blanket on the couch, and she had apparently had an accident while hiding there." Isabelle couldn't believe the words escaped her mouth. She had literally just thrown a toddler under the bus. She had blamed a toddler for a pee accident that belonged to her, an 18 year old, on the couch. Isabelle needed to wrap this up though. "She was distraught, and so I took her upstairs and put her into a clean pullup, and put her to bed. I don't think she wants to talk about it," Isabelle said, hoping that Jess might not bring it up to her daughter, though that was doubtful., "and after she went to bed, I just tried to clean up the mess. And that's when you came in. I'm really sorry Jess!" Jess had been silent the whole time Isabelle was speaking, collecting her thoughts. She looked at Isabelle, and gave her a smile. "It's fine sweetie. It's not your fault. I cannot believe my Becky did that though. Taking her pullup off? She's never done that before. I don't know why she thought she would get away with something like that." Jess looked genuinely disappointed in her daughter. And it was all Isabelle's fault. Jess shook it off, at least for the moment. "No matter. Why don't you give me that, you don't need to clean the mess, and you can head home? You did a wonderful job tonight. It's just a shame my infant behaved better than my toddler," Jess joked, trying to make light of the situation. Isabelle hesitated. She couldn't hand the bucket over without revealing her deception. Part two of her plan required grabbing her bag, and quickly swapping it out for the bucket, so she could continue to cover the front her wet pants, which continued to cool and press against her legs. "Ummm.... Okay. Let me just grab my bag," Isabelle nearly shouted. 'Why am I speaking so loud?' Isabelle navigated and shifted around Jess awkwardly, prompting a laugh from Jess as Isabelle made her way to the front of the house. The problem, of course, was that Jess was reaching out for the bucket. And Isabelle was out of excuses. She was approaching quickly, and basically had one hand on the bucket to pull it away... ... ...when a miracle happened. Eric. Wonderful, beautiful, perfect Eric. He was crying on the monitor. Jess's arms stopped at the moment her hand had a grasp on the bucket. "Oh...looks like someone knows their mommy is home." Jess said playfully to Isabelle, releasing her grip and heading up the stairs. Isabelle was now wet in her armpits as well, sweating profusely. Jess was climbing the stairs as she called down to Isabelle, "I bet my baby needs a new diaper. Little does he know he wont be the only one wearing diapers tomorrow," Jess turned back to Isabelle, to continue with the joke, "No he won't, will he Iz?" Jess said, smiling, and then winking to her, before turning around and walking to Eric's room. Isabelle knew the joke was about Becky - or sure as hell hoped so. Nevertheless, Isabelle went all red with embarrassment at the thought Jess might be referring to her....at the though that Jess saw through her lies. Isabelle musted a simple "...haha yah.." in response. In reality, her lie will have caused Becky to return to diapers, at least part time, something the poor girl didn't deserve. 'What choice did I have?' Isabelle continued to ask herself, knowing that there in fact was, an answer. She could have owned up. 'No matter, more present problems.' Isabelle didn't hesitate for a second, putting the bucket down and swapping it out for her bag at the front door. Isabelle quickly made sure she was covered, just as Jess emerged from Eric's bedroom with the little boy on her hip. "Indeed he did leave me a present Iz, just like you said!" Jess was smiling, happy to be home with her kids. Isabelle took the opportunity to excuse herself, mustering a goodbye and turning to the door. The three feet to the door felt more like 30 yards. Isabelle reached for the doorknob, moments away from her escape, when suddenly, she heard Jess call to her. "Wait. Isabelle." Isabelle's heart stopped with her body. 'Had Jess seen something.' Isabelle remained frozen in place as she heard Jess step down each step with purpose. 'I'm caught. How on earth am I going to explain this,' Isabelle thought, before finding the courage, or sense, to turn around and meet Jess's eye. Jess started to reach out her hand toward Isabelle, no doubt to push her bag aside and reveal her accident. 'I am done for,' Isabelle resigned herself to her fate. "...Your money sweetie. Thank you for watching the kids. I'm sure they loved having such a big girl like you around," Jess said, adding a wink to the exchange, and placing $50 into Isabelle's sweaty palm. Isabelle sighed a huge sigh of relief, thanked Jess, and then quickly backed her way out of the house, and onto the porch. Once the door was closed behind her, Isabelle was able to do what she had wanted to for the past half-hour; Isabelle stood on the stoop, and started bawling. The cool, evening breeze against her legs and pants reminded her more than ever that she had peed in her pants. Isabelle was wet. And unhappy. And standing on a porch, crying about it. And even though she knew it was hardly the most mature sight or behavior, she had nothing left in the tank, and simple stayed there crying for a few minutes, praying that neither Jess nor John would see or hear her. After what was the better part of ten minutes, Isabelle managed to brave her way down the stairs, her wet panties rubbing against her thighs and pressing against her....well her vagina. With each step, she grew more and more uncomfortable, and even the short trek home seemed like a gauntlet. Still in tears, Isabelle made her way back to her house, confronted with yet another problem; she would need to get by her mother without getting caught in her wet pants and panties. While Isabelle had an excuse to get around Jess, she was less confident - and without ideas - to sneak around her mom. Isabelle would just need to hope her mom was already in bed. As she made her way home, Isabelle started to wipe the tears from her face. Isabelle couldn't put her finger on it, but for some reason, a warmth emanating from her slippers started to take hold of her body. It was the strangest thing, but, it made her feel better. The warm comfort that spread from her slippers, up her legs, through her arms, and to her heart, made the whole mess....less awful. Though not possible, it also made the cold, clammy wet pants and panties feel a little less so, almost warmer. Though still gross, it was better than when it was cold. Isabelle climbed the steps to her home, and pulled her key out of the bag handing in front of her. Slowly, she turned the key into the door, and pushed it open, happy to note that the light downstairs was already off. Isabelle made her way in, closed and locked the door behind her, before tiptoeing on pointe up the stairs to her bedroom. Isabelle could see a light on in her mom's bedroom, but quickly made her way to her room, and closed the door behind her. "Thank god," Isabelle remarked to herself, pressing her back against her door, and without thinking, sliding down it, all the way until her butt reached the ground, sitting in her own pee. The act hardly phased her in that moment - she was simply happy to be home. After a few minutes, Isabelle stood up, stripped her wet clothes off of her body. As she slid her sweatpants off of her, she noted how much larger the wet stain in the rear had expanded, likely not completely covered by her sweatshirt. 'I can only hope that Jess didn't see this.' Isabelle then peeled the absolutely soaked panties off of her hips, and down her legs, the liquid preserved in them seemingly dripping out against her legs as she tugged them off. Naked, Isabelle made her way to bathroom. She immediately sat down on the toilet, and released the now urgent, remaining pee in her body, into the porcelain toilet bowl, before getting up, and getting into a warm shower. Isabelle took her time, enjoying the warm water falling against her, feeling it wash away the tears, wash away the embarrassment, wash away....the pee. After her first body wash, Isabelle took the time to process what was going on with her - the first time she had been able to this weekend. After Wednesday, it was clear her mother thought she was several years younger than she really was. The school as well.....'perhaps they didn't think it was a mistake having me dance with the younger girls.' Furthermore, her friends all but confirmed their own thoughts on Friday....'they acted like I was going to be in different classes than them. Classes we took together years ago.' Isabelle concluded, though unable to actually remember having taken those classes, as hard as she tried to remember. 'But they were still so sweet, and otherwise normal.' Isabelle was struggling to put all of her clues together. 'And Dani and Lola would never, ever just mess with me. Something more is going on...' 'And there was more,' Isabelle thought, as she started to shampoo her hair, 'Jess was acting so strange tonight.' Isabelle noted, trying to recall what had happened when she entered the house. 'She treated me like it was my first time there.....AND SO DID MOM, now that I think about it.' Isabelle added these clues to her list. 'Jess even gave me the 'rundown' about emergency numbers and what not....But I've been babysitting those kids for yea..' Isabelle stopped short, pausing, and again realizing that though she knew she had sat for those kids before, she couldn't think of a single time beyond the week prior. 'When Becky actually had had an accident...' 'And of course, there was Mr. Barns, who pretended like he didn't even know me at all.' It was an odd collection of facts, but at least things were starting to come together. 'They all think I am younger, but why. Why do they think I am younger?" As Becky pondered the question, she began to apply a second round of body wash to herself, feeling the need to wash the dirt, grime, urine, and night away. As she did so, this time, her attention was caught on more than just the facts she had identified so far, but on ones she had been ignoring for some time. Isabelle massaged the soap onto her arms, noticing that a number of her childhood freckles had been returning there as well. Her arms felt, smaller, thinner, than they had been just one week ago. Isabelle noted that, despite having not shaved in nearly 2 weeks now, there was barely any hair in her armpits to be spoken of. Isabelle continued washing her body, down from her neck, and to her breasts. Though she never had particularly large breasts, Isabelle could feel they were smaller, cupping them more easily. Not only that, they were firmer, more dense, than perhaps they had used to feel, the areola around her nipples also having receded a noticeable amount. As she made her way down her body, she continued washing her stomach, her hips, and her back, all of which felt....different. As she made her way further down, Isabelle noted that she also seemed to lack her usual public hair, which though always well kempt, was nothing more than a naturally light covering of, blonde hairs, mostly centered closer to her vagina. Isabelle made a point of thoroughly cleaning the area. Her legs, to no surprise, lacked their regular amount of hair, and strangely enough, her feet looked considerably smaller....'no, just less...no definitely smaller,' to her on review. Her body now lathered in soap, Isabelle accepted what she had refused to before, what she knew might be happening when she first struggled to reach her coffee mug, what terrified her when she couldn't fit into her leotards...'I mean Lola's leotards...', and what petrified her when she had to wear Dani's old one-piece suit: Isabelle herself was getting smaller. 'What could possibly be causing all of this? I must be sick or something,' Isabelle guessed, though knowing there was no true illness that made you de-age. 'At least not that anyone has discovered yet.' There was also another factor. Another clue. One that Isabelle knew existed - it was the precise reason she was in a shower tonight. But not one that she was willing to cope with, to admit, to accept. Not yet. It was not a clue which she would speak aloud, not one she was even willing to allow to occupy her thoughts. It was a clue that would likely help her solve this mystery, but not one she would consider. "I can solve this without that,' Isabelle concluded, daring to even address the thought. Though if she were being honest, she wasn't sure that was quite true. As she turned off the shower, and wrapped herself up in a towel, Isabelle reduced the facts she was able to investigate to the following: 1. Everyone believes me to be younger 2. I cannot seem to remember things that I know have happened, but cannot point to. 3. My body appears, at least, to be shrinking. 4. "___" With those in mind, Isabelle revisited her original theories. A prank, considering the complexity when factoring in the number of people that would need to be involved, could be ruled out. A coma, unfortunately, could not. 'Did I bang my head when I was dancing,' Isabelle wondered. 'But what is there to do, if it was a coma? Do I simply wait until I wake up?' Isabelle pondered. Though not exactly the same situation, in book two of the Emerald Chronicles, the Viscountess of Sapphire Grove had suffered a similar coma like event, where escape relied on her solving the mystery of her sisters murder in her coma. 'Perhaps I need to solve the mystery of my shrinking?' Isabelle deduced. it was certainly worth pursuing. There were other theories, of course, but nonet that Isabelle would pay heed to. Unless she observed some other material change around her, it would be absurd to think that the planet being absorbed into a wormhole had the single effect of making her shrink and forgetful, while preserving everything else. And Isabelle was not prepared to entertain make believe theories of magic, when there remained perfectly plausible explanations like a 'Coma-journey' that were on the table. 'I'll continue my investigation with this as the operative theory, and we will go from there.' Who the "we" was, Isabelle did not quite know, feeling incredibly lonely in her crusade for the truth. The night had been long, exhausting....overwhelming. Isabelle had had enough. Rather than doing the laundry tonight, Isabelle kicked aside her wet panties and pants, and made her way to her dresser to find some pajamas. Despite her search, the best she could find this evening was a long sleeping shirt, with a picture of some animated animals on the front. Slipping it on, Isabelle turned and reached down to grab her ballet slippers - the only thing offering her any comfort of late - and lovingly returned them to their box, placing them near the floor of her closet. With that, Isabelle climbed into bed, and within seconds, was fast asleep.

Chapter 92: Little Voices: “The Talk” I spent most of the day Thursday in a low key funk. No, it wasn’t terrible, or traumatic. No great victories or defeats. No extra signs that my students were hurting more than they already were. No shouts or crying leaking in from my old room. Tracy wore a perfect poker face. The few times she was in eyesight or earshot I found myself trying to listen for a telltale crinkle or see a bit of thin white plastic peeking out of a waistband, but found nothing. The bus loop and the cafeteria were too loud to hear a diaper rustling and Tracy’s newly developed habit of wearing long flowing skirts and dresses hid any signs of puffy padding. I was fixated on it because I was sure she had been diapered yesterday. I didn’t want her to be diapered the next. It was a punishment, obviously, but was this an official punishment like when Raine had been tricked into crossing a line or a pretense to get rid of Tracy due to Maturosis? Had this Wednesday been a one time thing? A warning to remind her of her place? Or was it part of a larger attempt to drive her out of the school? It was so hard to tell. Tweeners had neither the privilege of assumed maturity until proven beyond a reasonable doubt nor the presumed guilt of innocence until proven otherwise. To one side of the road, Amazons were safe because the flow of society went with them. To the other side, Littles could learn to be safe; traffic went against us but we learned to watch for oncoming cars and were encouraged to dive into a ditch as necessary. Tweeners had to walk in the middle and as such could be squished like grapes if they didn’t learn to look behind and infront of them at all times. Statistically, there was no way Tracy was getting Adopted. I’d never met the man, but she was married to an Amazon. If someone said she had Maturosis, she’d go into his custody and they could get a second opinion disproving the diagnosis, or just move far away enough. She wouldn’t spend more than an afternoon sleeping in a crib depending on how long it took Mr…Tracy’s husband…to drive down to the school or wherever she was being kept. Unless her husband got his own baby crazy activated and decided that he liked her better this way or that she needed his care. Or he went mad with grief and burned down their house. Or he just didn’t want her because he had better things to do. Or there was some obscure Amazon law on the books that made him ineligible to adopt because he was clearly blind to not notice his own wife’s ‘immature tendencies’. Or they hit her super hard with hypnosis or continence drugs or those messed up soundwaves that messed up coordination and focus while also stimulating pleasure before he rescued her. Or if her husband didn’t really exist. Maybe that wedding ring and the brief mentions of him and their weekend plans were tiny bits of protective lies she’d woven over the years to keep giants uninterested. I didn’t even know the man’s first name. Come to think of it, I’d never properly memorized Tracy’s last name. I’d asked, but it was hard to pronounce; something long and Spanic sounding. Mayztepic, maybe? When my mouth fumbled with the pronunciation, Tracy didn’t laugh. She’d just nodded and said, “Took me a while too, and I married into it. Just call me ‘Tracy’. ‘Miss Tracy’ around the kids.” Even if everything went right for Tracy in regards to Maturosis; even if she noped out due to harassment, quit, and rode off into the sunset, that would leave no one around to mitigate the harm Ambrose was actively doing to our kids. They’d be even more alone than they were. I’d be more alone… The more time that passed between my old life and Adoption, the more I was learning how very little I really knew outside of my immediate struggle for survival and recognition. I didn’t actually know what risks versus protections Tracy had to balance and how likely any given outcome was to pass. I actually told Janet about it that same Wednesday night, and to her credit she promised she’d look into it for me. Ask Beouf if there were any Union complaints or safeguards or try to find out from Tracy in a way that wouldn’t embarrass her. That opportunity didn’t come Thursday. Beouf had called in sick, citing her new granddaughter, and Tracy was impossible to pull aside during school hours and before and after school she made herself scarcer than usual. The substitute in Beouf’s room was an old Amazon woman who could have been anywhere between seventy and ninety by looking at her, and not important enough to remember. She was just a warm body and Zoge ran the room in Beouf’s absence. We were all angels that day, too. No mischief attempted by anyone. I was so preoccupied worrying about Tracy that Billy asked if I was feeling alright. When Billy asks if you’re okay, something’s wrong. Chaz asked if we should stir the pot by doing another Why Day since it had been a while, but I spun some lie about how Beouf would likely punish us harsher for acting up in her absence- teachers hated and were deeply embarrassed by bad notes left by substitutes. I also spun it that if we were good for Zoge and the warm body, but terrible when Beouf returned, it would agitate her more and make her wonder what she was doing wrong. It’s funny how one can tell a lie, hear it, and then realize that it’s actually quite true. So we were good. All day. Besides, the old woman was cantankerous enough to very clearly state that she did not change diapers. Take the win where you can find it. The school day behind me, Janet drove me home and gave me dinner consisting of steamed broccoli and carrots, as well as cut up peanut butter and natural strawberry jam sandwiches on whole wheat bread. All foods meant to relieve and prevent constipation. Then she dressed me in a blue and white pinstripe long sleeve romper with the words ‘Little Slugger’ on the front and ‘01’ on the back, as well grippy socks that mimicked baseball cleats. Baby clothes that could double as jammies. This was going to be a long night. A small bit of comfort was that she didn’t put me in a night time diaper, so I wasn’t completely locked in for the night as it were. Dinner was early and dressing was fast because Janet was in a rush to get to the Community Center for the Little Voices meeting. “Why are we going so early?” I asked from the carseat. “I’m tired of getting there just a few minutes before it starts. I need to spend more time with other Mommies and Daddies. Make friends. I don’t get playground time at school everyday like you do. Everybody needs friends.” That shut me up. I could have retorted or otherwise tried to dissuade her, but it would have served no purpose. That and she was right. Everybody did need friends to one degree or another. Talking to the Amazons at Little Voices would only dunk Janet deeper into the crazy pool and give her more ideas, but talking to Littles more mindfucked than me and getting a feel for each different prison environment and how I could use it to my advantage was crucial on multiple levels. Talking to softer Mommies and Daddies might soften her up, too. Strategically, I needed Janet to keep going to the meetings. I just hoped that my personal resources and preparations would outpace hers when the time came. We were among the first there, with only one or two other Little-Amazon pairings. I refused to think of them as ‘families’ even ironically. There was one chubby Little girl who wore a dark blue dress that was almost black with white tights and a red headband over dark brown hair. I had a hunch that someone had just had their own Picture Day at their daycare. She sat on the floor, absorbed in play with stacking cups and figuring out. Mindfucked or just bored? Who could say without a conversation I didn’t want to have? The other girl had short blonde hair and lounged in her Mommy’s lap wearing just a Cherry the cartoon dog t-shirt and socks that went well past her knees in lieu of pants. She chewed on her pacifier rather like a cow on a piece of cud, with bits of red juice dribbling out of the corner of her lips. She took the pacifier out of her mouth and examined it. It wasn’t a pacifier in the purest sense, but instead had a plastic mesh netting loaded to the brim with sweet looking red berries. Clever. Janet took a seat next to them in the circle of chairs and unholstered her diaper bag. She never forgot that damn bag when we went to these meetings. More social pressure and expectations, I suspected. Bring your status symbols and cult’s iconography where they mattered most. “Do you want to play on the floor?” Janet whispered quietly to me. She was still cautious. Still holding back. I hadn’t gone out of my way to hurt her this week, but I’d still hurt her and she was smart enough to keep unrealistic expectations in check. I bit my tongue and shook my head. “Okay,” she said. I wanted to smile at the disappointment. I resisted. The two makeshift mothers prattled on over us. “So I’ve heard there’s this new subscription box that I’ve been wanting to try.” The Amazon with the Little blonde girl in her lap chattered to her seat neighbor. The age difference between the giant and her bogus baby was negligible. They could have been work buddies or dating if not for the size difference. I wouldn’t have been surprised if one was just a year or two older than the other. “Oh?” the Mommy of the cup stacker said. “I love my subscription to Hiya Crisp.” Like her manufactured daughter, the Amazon had dark hair, but also had few hints of wrinkles around the eyes and a few parts that just weren’t as perky anymore. Were I to guess, I would have estimated that they were technically old enough to be mother and child, though the girl on the floor should still be moved out of the house. Kind of like me and Beouf or more appropriately Zoge and Ivy. Both wore mom jeans and light sweaters. The Helena Madra look. “Oh me too,” said the brunette with her Little in her lap. “It’s so easy for meals for me, Delilah, and Juni.” She gave the Little in her lap a light bob. I guessed that was Juni. “Anyway, this new one is apparently some sort of toy subscription box. They’ve got a section aimed entirely at Maturosis, you can choose how often you receive new boxes, and they even vary depending on what developmental stage your Little one is at.” “Brittany loves toys! Don’t you Brittany?” The plump Little girl on the floor did not look up from her cups. “Mmm-hmmm.” “She gets so engrossed, sometimes. New toys would be great, yeah. Save us a shopping trip.” She smirked. “And a tantrum.” The joke didn’t land. “Anyway, you were saying?” “The service looks really good. I did some checking around on different Mommy blogs. They’ve even been endorsed by Dr. Wolf.” Eyebrows were raised. “The Dr. Wolf! The one spreading awareness over there in Albienne.” She hugged the Little in her lap the way I hugged Lion and I worried for the smaller woman. She didn’t seem bothered, at least. “Oh wow, that sounds amazing,” the older of the Mommies agreed. “Yeah,” her younger compatriot nodded. “I’ll send you the link, I think we’re gonna try it next month for Juni. She’s so picky with toys, and this’ll help keep her mind interested.” “Mhmmm. Always important. Kiddos need stimulation to keep them healthy.” A few of the regulars I recognized walked hand in hand or were carried in with their fake parents. Mary, the Little with the pink hair came in with both jailors. Neither one had as wild hair as her or her younger-big-sister. The Middle-Aged Daddy couple, Donald and Carl came in with not only their Little girl but their Tweener daughter, too; Kylie and Joanie respectively (or was it Joanie and Kylie?). The Tweener was a good ten years older than me if she was a day and looked annoyed and put out to be there. Her black leggings with tie-dye polka dots did a less than serviceable job hiding the slight bulge from her disposable training pants and her hiking down her t-shirt was pointless at preserving modesty. Like a good prisoner she sat down in the chair next to her Papa and her Adopted sister stole her Daddy’s lap. Pockets of conversation and small talk were forming around the circle, slowly gaining momentum as more and more groups trickled in. Amazons conversed and their Littles quietly busied themselves This could have been another reason why Amazons Adopted people smaller than them. Small children get only the hobbies their parents select for them. Parents with similar hobbies get to meet and make friends with each other and force their children to be friends by proximity. An Amazon with a Little to coddle and cosset would never be short of playgroups and new friends. We were their socialization tool. Janet started gently bobbing her knee like she did when she had nothing else to do. The not quite subtle reminder broke me out of my own reverie. I looked up at her from her lap. “S-s-s-t-o-o-o-p.” I quietly snapped. “Sorry.” Janet whispered. “Sorry.” I ducked my head down. “Gods, I hate you.” The words came out as just a breath. “Hm?” Janet asked. “I hhh–” My breath caught in my throat. Damny monitor. “Nothing.” Janet wrapped an arm around me and leaned “Would Lion make you feel better?” He might. “No.” “Thirsty? Want some milk?” “No.” “Giving you some milk would help me. It’d give me a reason to keep my legs still.” Phrasing a request as a favor. A nice touch. “Still no.” “Just so we’re clear: Would you like Lion or milk or neither?” I grumbled to myself. “Both.” Both wasn’t an option. “Both?” Janet put Lion in my arms and sat back up straight. “Okay,” she sighed heavily as if I’d outsmarted her. “Okay Clark. You win. Both it is.” She turned me on my seat and laid me back against her arm so that she was cradling me and placed the bottle between my lips. I’d just been played and I knew it. I crushed Lion’s soft cotton reinforced sternum for what was likely the one-thousand three hundred ninety-seventh time since he’d come into my life. Thank goodness no one school was there to see me. Billy would never let me live this slip down. Slowly, very slowly, I pulled on the nipple with my lips, and sucked down the milk. No chugging this time. Chugging would lead to burping and cooing and stupid gooey praises, and talks about what kind of formula or milk was best. Right now I just needed something to do to dissociate and people watch without anyone talking to me. Being Janet’s prop for a few minutes seemed like a good choice. “You know,” Janet spoke up so that the first two giantesses could hear her. “My Clark loves his Lion, but so far not many other toys have really clicked with his developmental plateau.” I bit the nipple hard and got milk squirted in my mouth for the trouble. My Clark. My Clark! No. Don’t worry about it. Poor Lion got his neck wrung. I just kept sucking, focusing on the fatty milk and how it contrasted with the sterile rubber teat. I practiced breathing and swallowing in a slow and steady rhythm so that I wouldn’t have to stop one to do the other. It was almost like meditation. Damn I missed yoga. My tummy had come back in full force. I kept sucking. “Oh sure, Janet,” the woman who’d started the sales pitch said. “Janet! I’ll be happy to share the link with you too.” “Thanks.” “What does he like to do with his lion?” The girl in tights’s Mommy asked. “Is he a cuddler? Or does his lion make funny noises when he squeezes it?” My right eye twitched. Dumb giant wasn’t saying Lion’s name right. I could hear the lowercase ‘l’ when she said it. I just could. “What does he use his lion for?” Janet lowered her head. “Do you wanna talk?” she asked. I did not. I considered saying something awful or nasty- a zinger about me not so dry humping Lion puffed into the forefront of my brain- but my self-induced meditation was having a calming effect. Breathe deep. Focus on the task at hand. Get through this moment, Clark. Let it pass onto the next and the next until the one you want arrives. “He’s busy,” Janet reported after a decidedly awkward silence. I could feel her entire body heat up in embarrassment and I let myself untense, melting into her social awkwardness like a snake coiling up on top of a nice warm rock. The two giants chuckled politely. “How bout you tell us?” I kept sucking on the nipple. This will pass. This will pass. “Well,” Janet breathed. “I think he likes to play pretend. I sometimes see him whisper to himself and setting up different toys around his room just so. Last weekend I think he was setting up his classroom’s Circle Time.” That earned her (us?) a chorus “Awwwwww!” from the two giants, plus a third who was listening in. “That’s adorable!” “It…made me happy.” Janet’s body heat turned up a notch. “Kind of.” I just kept suckling. The girl who’d been messing with the stacking cups raised her head. “He’s pretty good at pretending. He was good at playing the heavy feather light feather game and he taught us all about Death Tag.” Battle tag, you loon! Battle tag! I suckled and kept breathing and I swear I felt Janet cool down slightly, just laying there in her lap. The other giants exchanged worried looks. “It’s like freeze tag but we scream and play dead like in the cartoons,” the girl on the floor said. “It’s fun.” The Mommies, Janet included, untensed. “Clark is very clever and creative,” Janet said. “He’s really good with kids and impresses me with how he can approach things from a different angle.” Damn. Just. Just Damn. No past tense statements like ‘always has been’ or qualifiers like ‘other kids’. For a second there I let myself pretend that she was talking about me-the real me- and not some imaginary baby she’d dolled up. “Okay,” the Mommy who could have been dating the Little in her lap brightened. “So he’s going to want stuff from the Imagination Vacation line. Stuff that’s a little more freeform that he can decide how he plays with it.” “Yes! Exactly!” Janet was so excited she accidentally bobbed me and some milk gurgled down my throat. My lips released the nipple and I started coughing. Poor Lion was caught in a sleeper hold. “Oops! Sorry!” She adjusted me so that I was sitting back upright instead of reclining in a cradle. I could tell she was doing her best to restrain herself from calling me any stupid pet names like ‘honey’ or ‘baby’. This was the best of a bad situation at the moment. I caught my breath and leaned back to take the nipple into my mouth again. Janet’s body immediately heated up again. “But yes,” she said to the Mommies. “Something like that sounds great. I think he gets bored easily, so being able to explore at his own pace and have some more control would be really good for him.” “I’ll hook you up with the link.” Great. Janet made a new Mommy friend. I rolled my eyes and kept sipping and watching the door to the meeting space. More and more semi-familiar faces trickled into the room and started chatting with each other. The Amazon and Tweener couple with their Adopted Little walked in. The Tweener wife didn’t seem at all disturbed that someone her size was in a Pull-Up and had reverted to playing dumb peekaboo games with her Little ‘sister’ so that she could feel big. The balding man who led the group and his shy Little took their usual spot near the top of the circle. “Hi Clark!” For once, Amy Madra didn’t get the jump on me. She screamed it out right when her Mommy carried her through the door. She was also in a long-sleeved romper; a lavender one with a hoodie. I suspected that if she pulled it up over her head she’d look like a teddy bear. The pair took a seat on the other side of Janet and Amy wasted no time catching me up. “Hiya Clark how are you I’m good you weren’t here last week you missed the animal parade it was so much fun I got to be the elephant I used a kazoo as the trumpetey noise elephants do I tried to stick it up my nose for biologitical authenticity but it wouldn’t stay and so I had to use my mouth like a fake elephant the kazoo was pretty dusty it hadn’t been used in like forever which was pretty bad but it did also kinda taste like peanut butter which was really interesting so it wasn’t all bad and then in the hallway you wouldn’t believe who was out there- ” “Amy, baby,” Helena Madra interrupted. “Your friend Clark is drinking his ba-ba right now. Let him enjoy it.” “Mommy!” Amy scoffed. “Rude!” “Yes,” Amy’s Mommy redirected, “it is rude to talk to your friend while they're busy eating.” “No,” Amy said, “I mean that Clark doesn’t like it when people…” Amy stopped. It looked like she caught herself. Then she covered her mouth and burpsed. “I would like some milk, too, please.” The pair were right next to Janet but were effectively behind me due to how I was positioned on her lap. I could still make out movements and tones. I heard a velcro flap open, and inferred it was Helena digging out a similar bottle to Janet’s. “Here you go.” I let go of the bottle and leaned my head all the way back so that I could at least have an upside down view of the exchange. “No,” Amy whined. “Not from there,” she pointed to the massive bottle in Helena’s hand. “I want it from there.” She reached up and grabbed the Amazon’s breast. I could feel Janet’s entire body temperature go up at least two degrees. I did not like the ideas that must have been going through her baby crazy head. “Amy,” Helena clucked, “this milk is the same.” “Nuh-uh,” Amy replied. “It’s different. It’s a texture and temperature thing.” “It’s not that different,” Helena said. “You still get Mommy’s milk.” Amy huffed and puffed. “Have you ever breastfed, Mommy?” “Yes,” Helena said calmly. “How recently? Hm? Did you take notes and surveys? Double-blind random sample?” “When I was very small. Like you.” “So what you’re saying is that you have no recent experience in this field, Mommy.” Helena tried to pivot. “I didn’t bring a blanket or anything to cover you up while you nurse,” Helena said. “I’m okay with that.” “I’m not. I have to consider everyone else’s comfort” “Mommy!” Amy gasped overdramatically. “Are you ashamed of me?!” “Baby girl. Drink.” “Yes, Mommy.” She sounded oddly happy, settling for the teat over the tit. Without further ado, she leaned back in Helena’s arms like I was with Janet, took the bottle and began to nurse from the bottle. Witnessing the exchange, I felt this weird tonal disconnect. So many of the words sounded like an argument Janet and I might have. Me trying to manipulate her and push her buttons to frustrate her, and her calmly trying to dismantle my argument before giving up trying to argue in anything resembling good faith and just asserting her authority. So familiar from the outside, yet strange and alien at the same time. The Mommy-Baby duo’s tone was relaxed throughout; playful even. Not an inch of frustration on either side of the exchange. Same lyrics but different notes; like a cover song that takes on a completely different meaning just by altering the arrangement and instrumentation. I tried not to think about it; or how there had been a time that Amy had been the terror of Oakshire Elementary’s Maturosis and Developmental Plateau Unit. She’d been enough of an obstacle that Beouf had flashbacks and even the therapists remembered her years later. I kept drinking from my bottle and focusing my attention elsewhere. Week by week the faces were getting more and more familiar. I honed in on the odd Amazon Tweener couple and focused on the wife. Unlike her peers who tended to put on airs of young, hip, with- it types, this woman dressed closer to the stay at home moms of a bygone era; one that maybe only existed on television. She wore a pearl necklace and earrings with her light brown hair up in a bouffant hairdo, but wore very little makeup otherwise. She had a floral print dress on that didn’t compliment her shape at all, making her look slightly dumpy, with stockings and heels on her feet. Mature and motherly, it was close to what Ambrose tried but failed to imitate, but not what most would consider flirtatious or sexy. Excellent camouflage for a Tweener; enough to broadcast herself as an adult, but nothing that would make an Amazon Mommy jealous and want to Adopt her out of spite. “We’ve had to have Caleb sleeping in our bed for the past three nights,” the Tweener woman who’d maintained her adulthood said to the dark skinned woman who’d wrangled a pair of ‘twins’. “That’s nice,” the dark skinned woman said. “Sometimes on the weekends we do one big family cuddle puddle. I get up. Change them but keep them in their jammies, and we all go back to my bed and nap before breakfast.” “Oh no,” the Tweener woman shook her head. Her pearl earrings jangled and her bouffant styled hair bobbed. “You don’t understand, Charlie. We took Caleb over to the Malkoviches for a playdate. Caleb gets to play with Riannon, Howard and I get some time to ourselves.” She thumbed back to her massive husband and I had a disturbing visualization involving the mechanics of marriage bed when one person is so petite as to be dwarfed by middle schoolers. The Amazon nodded. “Sure, sure.” “And it went well enough at first,” the Tweener continued. “But when John went off to cook dinner Alex also went to go work in their sustainable garden. And neither told each other… I think you see where I’m going.” “Oh dear,” the Amazon looked to her twins protectively. “Is he okay?” “John thought Alex was watching the babies. Alex thought John was watching the kiddos. And since it’s Spooky Month on G.U.T.V, John decided to watch a scary movie on his phone.” The other Mommy sucked in her teeth, already connected the dots. “However he didn’t realize he pressed the wrong button so that it was automatically being simulcast to the TV in the living room.” “Didn’t he hear the screams?” “Headphones,” the Tweener answered. “So the entirety of dinner preparation time, we’re not sure how long, but probably an hour and a half, they watched an entire scary movie instead of Cherry the dog. They’ve already apologized so much, and I feel even worse for their Little one. I hear they’re taking Riannon to see someone because she won’t go near the bathtub anymore without crying.” “Bathtub?” “Ghosthaunters Two. The scene with the Mommy getting her Little ready for a bath and…” “Ooooooh.” Caleb sat quivering in his Daddy’s lap, fighting sleep and startling himself awake while the big man tried to tenderly nudge him. “We wanted to stay home,” the Tweener Mommy said. “But Caleb begged us to come. He says it’s safe here.” “What happens when you try to put him in his crib?” “If he’s awake he starts screaming about a ‘Ghost Nanny’ coming to get him. And he starts bawling and saying things like ‘Not again’ and ‘I can’t go through it again’.” “Poor dear. He must be thinking of that scene in the movie.” The Tweener nodded. “Little kids have such a hard time separating fact from fiction.” Idiots or delusional maniacs. I knew that movie. I’d bet good money that Caleb got snatched up by some grabby Amazon with a carriage. It’d be the same as me freaking out inside a glass elevator. Poor guy was having flashbacks. If only I still had money… “Okay everybody,” the balding man said. “I think it’s about that time. Let’s begin.” They sang that stupid ‘We’re All Together Again’ song. Two dozen voices give or take and not one of them could harmonize with any of the others. I still had about half of my bottle so Janet didn’t bob me up and down. She just held it to my lips and sang the opening hymn, getting that rush of belonging. The leader looked around the circle. “Alright then,” he chuckled. “Welcome everyone. It looks like we have nothing but familiar faces. Am I wrong?” No one corrected him. “Just in case, does anyone want to re-introduce themselves or their Little kiddos?” I resisted the temptation to make an ass out of myself. I just had to get through the first half so that the real work of the second half could begin. I’d use the bottle and Lion to shield myself from tummy tickles and lap bounces and just be a blob in Janet’s lap for however long it took. Simple as that. “Okay then,” the leader nodded. “We’re going to break with our usual format today.” I stopped suckling. A break in the usual format was bad. I needed the usual format. Around the circle, Littles on laps or couched between ankles exchanged worried looks. “Don’t worry, kids, you’ll still get your playtime. It’s just the first half of tonight is going to be different.” I relaxed with the rest of my otherwise mindfucked peers. “We’ve got a guest speaker tonight. Depending on when you came in you may have seen her waiting in the hallway.” It was then I noticed that the door was slightly cracked open. “Some of you might remember her from past meetings, she comes two or three times a year to share with us.” I had the worst possible feeling. I kept suckling and pulling the milk into me. Maybe I could chug it and throw up. “Some of you kids might remember her because she used to be your teacher.” That confirmed it. I didn’t need to know that he was looking at me when he said, “Some of you might have her as your teacher right now. Please welcome, from Oakshire Elementary, Mrs. Melony Beouf.” The applause of nearly thirty giant hands and their idiot Littles copying them and cheering for Beouf opening the door and speed walking to the front of the room sounded to my ears like shotgun and machine gun rounds being fired into the air and the bleatings of sheep happy to go to the slaughter. On any given day, Melony Beouf chose function over form. If she couldn’t bend over, crawl around, get on the floor with or chase a Little while potentially covered in any number of stains, she didn’t wear it. The only exceptions to this rule were when she had a scheduled teacher observation or if it was the annual Staff Photo (not to be confused for Picture Day). Beouf was dressed in teacher formal attire, with makeup and perfume on. Her white blouse with frills up the front went up the front, complemented the lipstick red blazer and skirt as well as the matching flats. Over her shoulder was a tan colored tote bag that I couldn’t see what was inside it. Sick grandbaby my ass, Melony was here to put on a show. The bottle was still between my lips. I plugged the tiny hole in the nipple with my tongue and glared up at Janet. This was the reason why she got us here so early; she didn’t want me seeing Beouf in the hallway. Janet didn’t smile down at me like a happy idiot who just sprung a pleasant surprise. Nor did she threaten me with talks of ‘good choices’. She shifted me up off her lap and brought me close to her shoulder like she was about to burp me. “I made her promise not to make a scene,” she whispered. “Don’t worry.” Also, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Back down into her lap I went, and I crushed Lion all the harder while slowly very slowly, I accepted the bottle and started to drink. Much slower this time. The full feeling in my stomach and the practice I’d given myself still left me relatively calm. I was angry on an intellectual level more than an emotional or physiological one. Still, I would spit all over her and then cry my eyes out like it was spit up if Beouf gave me half an excuse. Beouf took center stage, near the beginning head of the circle. “Before I begin,” she said, “let me please introduce myself. My name is Melony Beouf and I teach The Maturosis and Developmental Plateau Unit at Oakshire Elementary, otherwise known as ‘The Littles Class’.” A slight and polite chuckle followed. “Oakshire Elementary’s unit is one of only two publicly funded programs in the entire county, and based on the number of plaques I have at my home from various county, state, and national Maturosis teaching and research organizations, I am very, very good at my job.” That earned her some appreciative nods and murmurs. I knew what the other school was and why she didn’t say it. “I have a Master’s in Early Childhood Education,” she went on. “and a Bachelor’s in Child Psychology with a minor in Maturosis and Developmental Plateaus.” That minor was as valid as the cold stickers that got sent home with my schoolwork. “I’ve been doing this for many many years; I’m not gonna say how long because that’ll just make me feel old.” More polite laughter. “Let’s just say that looking around the room, when I first started teaching, some of your Little one’s were probably still in diapers the first time around.” That got a round of genuine laughter. I looked around and scanned the faces of the other Littles. A few slight blushes, and hiding behind hands, but those same rosey faces all had bashful grins. Most seemed completely unphased by the reminder that there was a time when they were adults. We were in the cult of Little Voices and tonight’s sermon was being given by the Right Good Reverend Melony Beouf. I knew right then that any attempt I might make would be instantly thwarted and turned back on me. A small classroom with Littles who hadn’t been completely broken in with two familiar Amazons and a decade worth of quirks, shared experiences, and procedures to exploit was doable. A meeting of close to fifty or sixty people and the Little to Amazon ratio being close to one to one and no one having a problem with this madness but me? No chance. “To put it simply, my job is to help Littles who have experienced full-blown Maturosis come to grips and learn to embrace who they are, as well as to educate their Adoptive parents on what the most up to date research tells us about the condition and the people living with it so that we can meet their needs the best way possible.” The Tweener Mommy started clapping…and was the only one. She stopped. Someone was trying too hard. Beouf wasn’t thrown. “So in a way, if I’ve worked with your kids, I’ve always worked with you. And I’m not their teacher, but also your colleague. As Mr. Clemmons,” she gestured to the balding man who ran the meeting, “already said I am a big supporter of Little Voices and I love their message very much. So I do my part every now and then I come to talk to both Littles and their Mommies and Daddies. And to be clear, some of the things I’m going to tell you are things that for various different reasons, the school board would rather me not talk about in a classroom setting. So I am a teacher, but I am here in my capacity as an advocate and someone who participates in research. Is that clear?” Silently, everyone that mattered to Beouf nodded their heads. “I’ll talk to the Grown-Ups more in depth later, but for now, if it’s okay and they feel comfortable, can I have all the Little boys and girls come and sit up front with me?” My cult narrative took on a more direct comparison. Littles came up in one’s and two's while Beouf coaxed them forward. “That’s right,” she said in her higher birdlike teacher voice. ”Come on. Don’t be shy.” It was just like the ‘Children’s Moment’ at so many churches. The Littles started to clump together and crowd into a tight knot. “Okay, okay. Maybe be a bit shier. Too close, sweety. Okay. That’s right. Yes. Better. Spread out a tiny bit. Give each other some room. Muuuuuch better.” In the meantime, someone had taken a spare folding chair and passed it so that Beouf had a place to sit. There was no way she was making it to the floor dressed as she was. Janet made no attempt to ask or nudge me off her lap. Beouf placed her tote bag down beside her, and took a seat. “Hello everyone!” “Hi Mrs. B!” “Hello, Caleb!” “Hi Mrs. Beouf!” “Hi, Danny!” “Hello!” “Good to see you again, Cindy.” The hi’s and hello’s bubbled up and overlapped each other until Beouf raised both hands. “Okay okay okay. Hold on, boys and girls. Let me get this out of the way. Raise your hand if you want me to say hello to you and when I do put your hand down.” Tiny hands shot skyward. Beouf took a massive, cartoonishly exaggerated breath. “Hello, Kylie, Marie, Sammy, Caleb, Brittany, Elisa, Marissa…” she kept listing names off and hands dropped. Littles staying by their parents’ sides also raised their hands. “Hello, Cesily, Bea, Paul, Juni, Amy…” She rattled off their names without fail. By the time she was done, only five or six Littles kept their hands raised. “Now you all I don’t think I’ve met. Tell me your names and I promise to remember them next time.” They did and she greeted them, and reiterated her promise. I knew perfectly well that she’d keep that promise. I had a habit of letting past students fade into memory; most teachers did. Beouf had such a mind for faces and names that she could have been a politician. Come to think of it, she kind of already was. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” Beouf said and got another knowing chuckle from the assembled cultists. “I can teach and remind you about some very important things to keep you safe and happy. Is that okay?” That received a resounding “Yeeeeeah!” From the assembled man and woman toddlers. This was the kind of class Beouf wanted, and by the end of most years, it was close to the class that she got. That made me shudder and some extra milk flowed into my mouth with the spasm. “First off,” Beouf said, “I’m going to ask what I hope is a silly question. You know your Mommies and Daddies love you right?” “Yeah!” Her point was punctuated with some giggles. “Yes, of course they do,” Beouf agreed. “That’s why they Adopted you and take care of you the way that they do. But not all Grown-Ups want what’s best for you. Some Grown-Ups think that just because you’re not a Grown-Up anymore, that means they should get to decide how you act and think and feel instead of letting you be yourselves.” I silently agreed with her, though obviously not the way she intended. “That’s silly!” One of the brainwashed masses piped in. “Yes it is silly,” Beouf replied, “but it can also be very dangerous. What these people will do is they will find things that Little boys and girls like, like cartoons and songs, and hide messages in them.” “Like a secret?” Beouf pointed at the Little suck up. “Yes, like a secret. But it’s such a secret, that you don’t even remember hearing it, but your brain does.” She tapped her forehead for emphasis. “And your brain remembers things even if your ears and eyes forget. And if your brain gets too many of these secrets for too long, it can change you.” She waited to see if anyone would take the bait and ask how. This time no one did. “These secret messages will change you so that you forget things, or make it harder to talk or make you can’t talk at all. Or it might make you laugh when you really wanna cry. Sometimes they make it so that you can’t say naughty words or think naughty thoughts.” “Why is that bad?” A parent asked. The glares he got made him slink down a pariah. “Hypothetically, I mean.” “I’m glad you asked that, sir.” Beouf saved him. “The answer to that question has two parts. One is that Little, Tweener, and Amazon brains pre-Maturosis are nearly identical, but these hypnotic suggestions affect us all equally, giving rough simulations of Maturosis’s effects. Someone experiencing Maturosis may be falsely diagnosed and given care that they don’t need and that’s unethical.” There was so much irony here it was beginning to cave Lion’s and my chest in. My ex-mentor proved that she couldn’t read minds and kept talking. “The allowance of these materials also weakens the argument and research going into Maturosis by promoting a false narrative. If there are some people who aren’t actually experiencing it but are being exposed to post-hypnotic conditioning, the argument can be made on the entire system, and we know that’s just not true and our Little ones need our help. The second big reason is that even if a Little has been correctly diagnosed with Maturosis, hypnotic cartoons and songs do more harm than good by implementing knee-jerk uncontrollable behaviors in people as well as blocking what would be otherwise natural and normal responses.” The message wasn’t quite landing, it seemed. “Let’s just do words. Imagine having a word taken away from you. Not that you forgot about the word, you just can’t use it. And every time you try to say the word, you accidentally say another word or you can’t say anything at all. You can feel the word, you know the word, but there’s a magical wall stopping you from using the word. Some hypnotic and subliminal programs do this.” She paused for effect. “Some do more and make it so that you can’t think about the word and every time you try it gets replaced with another word that you know is wrong but your brain won’t give you another word and even if someone tells you the right one you can’t use it. Now imagine it’s more than just one word. Imagine it’s several words. Imagine it’s every word that someone else doesn’t think you should be allowed to say…” The mood chilled with Grown-Ups and Littles alike throwing each other worried yet comprehending looks. The Amazons only conceptualized it and were disturbed. Some of the Littles no doubt had experienced it first hand. More amazing was that Beouf and Janet weren’t choking to death on their own blatant hypocrisy. Ever the teacher, Beouf looked down at the assembled Littles. “In other words, hypnosis is like spanking your brain, and Little Voices does not support spanking of any kind.” Solemn nods all around the cluster of forever children. “Fortunately,” her tone became more upbeat, “I always have several students in my class each and every year that let me know all of the words and I am positive their parents don’t use hypnosis or subliminal messaging!” That got the crowd back. Amazons laughed behind their hands and a small amount of Littles quietly exchanged high fives and fist bumps. She reached into the tote bag and put some old DVD’s in her lap. “Parents and Littles, the best way to protect yourself and your kids is to update and educate yourself on what does and does not contain subliminal messaging. There is a popular show making a comeback called Carpet Mice. Do not watch it. Ever. It has nothing but hypnotic suggestions in it and neither I nor anyone else have found a clean broadcast of it. If you go to LittleVoices.com you’ll find an entire list of shows and sometimes even networks to avoid. With all of these streaming services, there’s a lot of bad actors out there.” “What about Mint’s Hints?” A Little piped in. “Or Cherry?” Beouf smiled and nodded. “Good question. For the most part, shows like Cherry, Mint’s Hints, Helga Hogg, The Muffet Show or Muffet Littles, are completely safe. They’re made with good intent and safe for children of literally all ages. But,” she added, “you should always be on the lookout if a show has a warning or a disclaimer in the beginning or any part that asks a Grown-Up to leave the room. If there’s something on T.V. that the people making it don’t want your Mommies and Daddies to see, there’s something wrong with it.” “Another way to tell is if you overhear a lot of specific talk about diapers. Real children’s cartoons don’t worry too much about potty training or diapers. They already assume the child needs them and doesn’t care, or is mature enough not to need them, and doesn’t care. Yes most Littles who experience Maturosis lose their potty training anyways but if there’s one hypnotic command, there’s at least ten more. Be. Aware.” I’d forgotten what a good speaker Beouf could be. Watching her was hypnotic in its own right. My bottle was now down to the last quarter and I’d barely even noticed because I was so morbidly fascinated with the mix of helpful warnings that every Little parent taught their child and absolute contradictory bullshit. She cracked open a DVD case and took out a pair of ear plugs and what looked like flimsy 3-D glasses. “Some programs even have special ear plugs or glasses that filter out the commands so that a Grown-Up can make a Little feel secure and trick them into watching. A lot of these things people can buy on the internet. A lot of this is still, sadly, legal in many places and where it isn’t people will often look the other way until someone makes a big enough stink about it.” Beouf continued her presentation by holding up the two identical DVD cases, both Helga Hogg. “The safest thing to do is to get a DVD of your child’s favorite cartoons and just play that. A streaming service can be compromised or edited. A DVD will be the same every time. Just be sure of the distributor. I got both the ear plugs and the sample glasses from the DVD case in my left hand.” She returned her attention to the so-called children. “So boys and girls, if a Grown-Up ever wants you to watch a cartoon or listen to a song with them and they put something in their ears or something over their eyes, you need to do everything you can to stop yourself from watching or listening.” The Littles, used to being well behaved dolls looked generally confused. “What do we do?” “Cry. Scream. Yell.” Beouf kept ticking off on her fingers. “Cover your ears and close your eyes. Throw up if you need to. Try and bop the Grown-Up on the nose. Anything that makes it so you don’t watch or listen to what they want you to watch or listen to.” An Amazon politely raised her hand and asked. “But what if it’s a mistake? A babysitter or someone who works at their daycare?” “I would rather a Grown-Up get their feelings hurt, or get angry and call you to help sort it out than an innocent Little girl or boy have something taken away from them via hypnosis.” She crossed her arms over her chest, giving the statement a note of finality. I wondered if she was really campaigning so hard against the stuff because more hypnotic suggestions would just put her out of a job. Quickly, she took out a pair of headphones and held them aloft. “‘Before we move on, I also just want to mention something called ‘Music Therapy’. This is literally just slapping a pair of headphones with hypnotic suggestions over someone’s head and then leaving them in a trance for a couple of hours.” “DO IT CUZ MOMMY SAYS SO!” Bradley screeched in terror on his Mommy’s lap. “I LIKE TO PEE MY PANTS!” He was hyperventilating and crying just at the sight of the prop. Beouf had the decency to put them out of sight and the poor ex-New Beginnings inmate calmed down. “Now that we have that over with,” Beouf said, “that first part was for both the Littles and their parents. This next part is just for the Littles. Don’t worry, Grown-Ups you can stay.” A few nervously got the joke. “Who knows what Stranger Danger is?” All the hands in the room shot up, save mine. I was not participating. “Okay, Cindy,” Beouf pointed to the pink-haired woman who was probably almost as old as she was. “Tell us.” “Stranger Danger is when someone who is not your Mommy or Daddy or teacher or family wants to take you away forever because they want to hurt you.” “That’s right, honey. Good job.” She leaned out and gave Cindy a high five. Beouf had taken the day off and was now getting rewarded with her dream class. “When you were younger, you were probably told that there were strangers who would claim to know your mother and father or get you to come with them by offering candy or asking you for help looking for a puppy and that they wanted to hurt you, right?” A smattering of ‘yeah’ and ‘uh-uh’ and ‘yes’ came in reply while others mutely bobbed their heads. “That can still happen,” Beouf told them. “But other times, strangers will try to trick you by telling you things like you’re really a Grown-Up or that your Mommy and Daddy don’t really love you, and you should come with them to prove that you’re not a baby.” She paused and scanned the floor for signs of dissent or incomplete programming. She found none there and so went on. “Those people are also trying to trick you and take you away from your Mommies and Daddies and you’ll also end up hurting. You’ll hurt not only yourself in the long run but also your Mommies and Daddies.We don’t want to do that, do we?” The chorus of affirmatives changed course and melted into ‘no’ and ‘nuh-uh’ and the quiet but obedient shaking of heads. Typical mindfucked dolls. Someone was curious enough or childish enough to ask “Why?” “That’s a complicated question that I think has a lot of answers,” Beouf said with all sincerity. “Some of them are bad people, because there’s just bad people in the world. I think a lot of them though are people who just don’t understand or have been lied to about Maturosis or think they’d be helping you if they kidnapped you and took you away from your family.” And once again, the pot without a trace of self-awareness deemed the kettle black. “So unless you know them or they can prove that they know your Mommy or Daddy, don’t go with them and do more of that screaming, and crying stuff. It’s okay if you’re trying to protect yourself and it’s all you’re able to do. Nobody will be mad, I promise. Okay?” “Okay.” most said together. Melony reached back into her tote bag and pulled out a stack of wooden blocks, no doubt borrowed from her own classroom. “Don’t get too excited, kids.” She said, “I’m using these as a teaching tool. Not for playing.” “Can we play with them after?” Amy called from her Mommy’s lap. Beouf didn’t even have to look up. “Yes Amy, you can if you want.” “What about Jess-?” The bottle went back into Amy’s mouth so she couldn’t finish and her Mommy quietly shushed her. I finished draining mine and accidentally let out a tiny yawn. Beouf started stacking the blocks one at a time in a single column. “This next part is both for parents and their Little ones. As with everything else tonight, I’ll talk more in depth with the Grown-Ups after you kids go play, but they deserve to hear part of this too. It’s going to be a tad uncomfortable for some people hearing what I’m about to tell you, and that’s okay. However it is my professional and personal opinion that everyone needs to hear this talk at least once. More than anything else, this is the part that I’m not supposed to talk about. I need everyone to be brave and as mature as they can be for what I’m about to discuss. That goes for you Mommies and Daddies, too.” The laughter had dialed back down to polite with a touch of nervousness. I pushed the bottle out of the way and squirmed back up into a sitting position so that I wouldn’t accidentally fall asleep. What could Beouf need so much warning to talk about? She’d already discussed the topics hypnosis and abduction (including reframing Stranger Danger as a way to prevent Littles from escaping). What could be more controversial than that? She pointed to the column of blocks she’d made. The blocks, I noticed, were numbered and in sequential order, bottom to top, from zero to five. “This is how people grow up,” Beouf said pointing down to the bottom. “First we’re zero, then we’re one, then we’re two.” Her finger traveled up the column. “And every year we go up and up and up, and another block goes on the stack. I’d stack them higher, but I’m not very good at stacking so you’ll have to use your imaginations.” Her hand rose up to the sky tracking invisible blocks of much higher numbers. “But the thing is, we never really stop being zero, or one, or two, or three. It just gets added on to. Everybody in this room is a one or two or three or four or five. Their block tower is just a lot taller and they’re on the top.” “And we’re on the bottom!” A suck up yelled a bit too happily “Don’t interrupt, Cesily.” Beouf wagged her finger at the lady who I’d seen get dangled gleefully from her ankles at my first meeting. “Everyone has a tower that they’re mind is on top of, but deep deep down, they’re still zero, and one, and two, and three, and four. It’s just that when your tower gets really tall, it takes some reeeeeeeally big thoughts and feelings to reach all the way up from the top of the tower to all the way down to the bottom of the tower where the part of you that is zero and one and two and three are. It’s hard. But it can happen. That’s why Grown-Ups can still cry. Or be silly. Or make bad decisions that if their parents were still around they’d be put in timeout for.” “Or pee and poop?” Beouf ignored the comment and kept going. “When you have Maturosis, it’s different.” I puffed air out of my nose and readied for her to knock the tower to shambles. I think many of the audience guessed the same thing. If that’s true, she surprised a lot of us. Instead of knocking the block tower over, she carefully grabbed the top and bottom of her column, squeezed the tower and flipped it over so that the zero was at the top. “When you have Maturosis, the tower flips over.” She took a final block, a six, and quickly picked up the tower to slip it under as the new base. “And new blocks get added to the bottom. You’re still twenty or thirty or forty or fifty or a hundred. The tower of who you are still grows and grows and grows. It’s just that the part of you that is zero and one and two and three is always at the tippy top with you.” My tongue rolled out of its mouth, unbelieving what I was hearing. “So when you have Maturosis, you’re always feeling and thinking those thoughts you did when you were a baby-when you were zero and one and two and maybe even three-but the part of you that is twenty and thirty and forty, is still there. It just takes a looooot of work to get to that part of you. And sometimes that work is so hard that you just can’t, and that’s okay too. It starts feeling wrong, just like when it felt wrong to wear diapers before you needed them again. That’s what we call your Developmental Plateau.” This. This explained so much. It didn’t make it any better. It didn’t undo anything. But it explained so much about why Beouf acted the way she did. She’d succinctly summarized her own delusions. She really was a great teacher. She had more for me. “The term plateau is misleading however. A plateau is usually a piece of high flat ground. Your Developmental Plateau isn’t necessarily completely flat. Just like how some people can be very good with math and others are better at reading and writing, a plateau can vary from person to person. Some of you are more shy and need sensory play. Others need different levels of personal interaction. Some can walk. Some just crawl or like rolling around on the floor. Some feed yourselves. Some like to be spoon fed. A lot of you still talk the same as you did before. We’re all different.” It made perfect sense if you didn’t stop to think about it. The Amazons, clearly, weren’t thinking about it. The other Littles had bought in or were completely numb to it by this point. Why did this part get the warning, though? “That’s why,” Beouf said, “We need to take a few minutes to talk about romantic feelings and sexual arousal.” “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Faces scrunched up, mouths fell ajar, pacifiers popped into mouth to cover embarrassment and hands waved and heads shook as if. “I told you it was gonna be icky,” Beouf laughed, “but this is something you should know about.” She waved her hands in front to try and regain control. “Stop. Stop. I’m not going to embarrass anyone or ask any questions. No hand raising required! All you have to do is listen.” It certainly didn’t win them over, it got everyone to quiet down. “You might be living like zero or one or two or three year olds,” she said. “But your bodies and parts of your minds are still adult. So it is very possible, maybe even likely, that at some point since you got Adopted, you’ve looked at somebody or thought about them in your crib, and you started getting funny feelings like you did back when you were a big boy or girl.” The pacifiers and thumbs were popping in at a record pace. People were doing their best not to die from embarrassment, just from the idea that they might have sexual feelings. Beouf certainly noticed, but she kept talking anyway. “These feelings might make you want to kiss someone, or hold their hand, or touch their diaper or have them touch yours.” “EWWWWWWWW!” “Hold on! Hold on!” Beouf laughed again, her own ease being semi-contagious. “I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just stating aloud how some of you might be feeling sometimes, and to tell you…that it’s perfectly natural and okay. Some of you sometimes might not even be thinking about anyone. You might just feel a certain way, or like how your diaper feels, or be bored or something. Happens all the time!” She quickly added, “And if you don’t ever feel that way, that’s okay too. I’m not telling you how to feel.” The silence grew as Beouf took in a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m just saying that if you do feel that way, it’s perfectly natural, and you should talk to your Mommies and Daddies about it.” She looked up and out to the assembled parents, shifting in their seats. I could tell who’d heard a version of this talk before and who hadn’t based on body postures. Everyone was uncomfortable, but some were distinctly less so than others. I think my fellows were more uncomfortable, because it was them that were being talked about. I suddenly realized how long it had been since I’d had sex, which of course made me think about Cassie, which of course made me feel a level of melancholy that even a full belly and calm breathing couldn’t starve off. Not completely. “Parents,” Beouf said. “Mommies and Daddies: Believe me. If your Little boy or girl has these urges you need to talk to them about it. Short of something unethical, there is nothing you can do to prevent it, and babies of any age like to explore their bodies. All these Little ones are doing is rediscovering themselves. We’re okay with it when it comes to the cute stuff, we have to be okay with it when it comes to the things that aren’t so cute.” My ears wanted to fall away from the sides of my head out of disbelief. Beouf was openly encouraging masturbation among Adopted Littles. “If you don’t talk to them about it and find a way for them to do it safely, they will find a way to do it in a way that will probably embarrass you and cause you problems you never considered when you Adopted. My rookie year of teaching I lost more stuffed animals to nap time humping than I dare admit.” Every word was coming out almost like a chant with each one standing straight up and refusing to touch the other, much like the gaggle of Littles on the floor were slowly but steadily spreading out from each other. The collective blood was rushing to every Little’s head, mine included. Just hearing all this said out loud was awful. Sex was normally a touchy enough subject for some of us; anybody really. Reminding us that Littles lost out sexual autonomy was insult enough. Telling everyone that those urges and feelings still continue no matter what was almost cruel. The Amazons weren’t digging it either. Picturing their so-called babies adding something to their padded underpants that wasn’t urine or feces was distinctly unpleasant. I think I wanted to talk about sex to Janet all of a sudden… “You would rather them do something in their crib with the baby monitor off or in the bathtub right before you pull the plug than start rubbing themselves in public or rubbing up against each other at daycare. I’m not going to name names, but I’ve got at least two students in my class with very strict parents, and if I didn’t pretend not to notice a few things, I’m pretty sure the Little darlings would just explode!” She added sound effects for levity, and it worked, gaining a few good natured belly laughs from those assembled. Billy and Annie were such exhibitionists they’d be proud to be called out like this. One Little was brave enough to raise their hand and ask “How?” “That I can’t tell you, darling. That’s something you’ve got to talk about with your Mommy or Daddy and figure out what works for all of you. I’ll go into more detail and options with them,” Beouf pulled a phone out of her bag. “But that’s almost my time. Let’s split up so the kids can play, and I’ll get down to some more specifics and nitty gritty with the adults.” She stood up to a rousing round of applause, even greater than when she entered and the Littles all scampered back to their parents, some of them hugging them as if they’d been separated for years and not just a few awkward and tense topics. Janet stood up and shifted me so that I could ride on her side and still look around. “I appreciate you,” she said, and left it at that. I’d been a good Little baby, apparently. Fuck it. Whatever. I had real work to do soon. I was not meant to escape Beouf entirely. “Hey Janet, hey Clark.” “Good talk,” Janet said, because of course she would say that. “Thanks. We’re not done yet, sister. You’d be surprised the kind of questions that come up in the second half.” Janet laughed. “Great. Let me drop Clark off, and I’ll meet you back here.” She bounced me slightly as if I hadn’t been paying attention. “Do you want to say goodbye, Clark?” I think all three of us knew the answer to that. Sometimes Janet and Beouf could be masochists. “No,” some of Beouf’s shine left her. “That’s fine. He doesn’t have to.” “He’s kind of droopy tonight.” “Sick?” Beouf asked. “I don’t think so. Just full” She held the empty bottle that she hadn’t slipped back into the diaper bag. More curiosity blossomed over Beouf’s brow. She pointed to the empty container. “Goat’s milk or…?” “Goat’s milk.” Janet said. “Goat’s milk.” “Okay. Drop him off and come back. We’ll have a chat.” “Roger!” Janet walked me to the playroom. I started doing my best to wake up and get my blood pumping. It was fitting in a way that Beouf was here tonight. She’d started her indoctrination routine in the first half of the meeting. Next would come mine. Chapter 93: Little Voices: “Clark Says” Janet took me into the Community Center’s playroom and put me down. A quick check between my legs and she was satisfied that I was “Good to go”. She leaned forward to give me a kiss, but hesitated and pulled back. I must have made some kind of face. “Bye, Clark. See you in a bit.” She left while a few of the more sentimental Mommies and Daddies did their own variation of a goodbye ritual- theirs much more affectionate- and then left to go get pro tips from one of the greatest manipulators in the game whose last name didn’t use to be Gibson. The bottom half of the dividing door was officially closed, locking us all in together. Of special note, among the playroom guests were the diapered Little Kylie, her Pouty Pull-Upped ‘Big Sister’ of a Tweener, Joanie, and both Daddies, Carl and Donald. I forgot which one was which, but one was sorting through the enormous bundles of diaper bags that the supervising Grown-Ups toted around, and the other was already busying himself pulling back waistbands, patting bottoms, and generally eyeballing crotches for signs of oversaturated swelling and sagging. This wasn’t ideal. I felt a twinge of sympathy when one of them asked the Tweener whether she had to go potty or not. The woman’s cheeks lit up like a searchlight. They only got worse when he went on about how it was okay and accidents happened and they packed diapers “just in case she needed a break”. Obviously, the Tweener wasn’t used to being confined to padded underpants. She was probably being gently punished to remind her of her place in the same way that I’d been disallowed anything that hid my diapers. Either that or ‘her Maturosis was getting more pronounced’ (read: her Daddies were gaslighting themselves and her to the point where she was getting Little levels of mindfucked). The decent part of me hoped it was the former. I shouldn’t wish that slow descent into madness on anyone, save perhaps a select few Amazons. Even I got my pants back. The awful part of me quietly rooted for the latter. Watching a Tweener brought down to my level could be darkly satisfying, and it could be useful to have access to a bigger mindfucked baby. “None of your friends from school or playgroup are here, honey.” The big man prattled on. “Your sister and her friends won’t care, either. They all need diapers, too. You’ll still be our big gi-” “Daaaaad!” the Tweener shrieked. “Staaaahp!” She gently huffed off to my usual sulking corner far away from the changing table, leaving the big man gently shaking his head like a patient yet frustrated parent. He went back to checking Littles, not asking beyond saying “Excuse me, Little fella” “Hold up, babydoll,” or “Juuuuust checking.” This was not ideal. Two diaper obsessed giants instead of the usual one, and a pouty Tweener squealer. Two and a half times the number of authorities to involve and distract, and neither of the Daddies seemed to be the type to get actively involved with the pretend-children beyond basic maintenance and monitoring. The changing table was right by the door, too. A Grown-Up would only have to turn their head to the right to see someone being too close to the door for comfort. Definitely not ideal. The only thing that could have been less ideal was if Janet were present. These circumstances could be good though. If my exit strategy could work around two no-nonsense Daddies and a Tweener that could turn traitor, it could work around anybody. I hadn’t noticed any pattern or heard anything about a rotation on who got monitor duty, but common sense told me that the Amazons wouldn’t consciously hog or clog up playtime privileges. Every one of them wanted to be here on some level and frequent repeats would be noticed. Getting these guys out of the way helped me. I wasn’t going to get out tonight. Not even close. I had so many other steps to take and trials to endure. This was only part one. Every journey home had to start with a single step. Every tunnel to freedom started with a single spoonful of dirt. Showtime. “Okay everybody!” I yelled out in my best carnival barker impression. “Step, crawl, and roll up! We’re playing ‘Simon Says’.” In bits and pieces, people turned to see me, curious expressions forming. Curious, but not taking the bait. A handful put down the rental rag dolls and abandoned the ancient Speak-and-Says, but most had pause and disinterest. Murmurs of “Simon Says” started to make their way around the room. They knew what it was, because of course they did; the real thing is they weren’t in a mood to play it. Simon Says wasn’t Battle Tag or Light Feather Heavy Feather. Time to up the ante. “Step right up and gather round!” I repeated. “If you don’t want to play you can take a seat and cuddle up with your favorite stuffie and enjoy the show!” More looks were exchanged. Promises of a show were reeling them in. Simon Says wasn’t Battle Tag, but like the pudgy girl with the stacking cups said, I’d brought Battle Tag to this place and mastered the art of Heavy and Light. I was a known asshole and pouter who hadn’t yet accepted their take on the truth, but I could be fun when it suited me. Tonight it suited me. “If I go ten straight rounds without eliminating someone, I lose!” “What happens if you lose?” the white haired kid asked. Damn. They wanted stakes; why wouldn’t they. They weren’t really simple babies. Oh well. “Good question, Denny.” “Danny.” “No, sir, I’m Clark.” I lifted my head and continued to project. “Step right up. If I go ten rounds in a row without eliminating someone, I lose and everybody who beats me can make me say ONE THING EACH!” If cushioned socks and light up sneakers were hooves, the room would have sounded like a stampede. “That’s right, Folks! Anything you want! I will confess to being a big stinky doo-doo head or tell the world that I’m really a pretty pretty princess from fairy land! I’ll even say naughty words!” The resulting gasp of surprise and shock sounded like a cheer to me. Meanwhile my heart was thudding in my chest. I’d said it. I’d actually said it! The Daddy who’d put himself on diaper checking duty was well within my line of sight. He didn’t look upset, but he was far from pleased with this announcement. Oh what a rush. “Clark…?” He’d never spoken to me and thus didn’t feel confident in saying my name at first; afraid he’d somehow misremembered ramblings from Janet. “Clark, buddy. I don’t think that’s appropri-” “You don’t have to say the word yourself!” I yelled over him. “You can just tell me to say a naughty word and I’ll pick. You’ll be blameless!” Daddy number two sounded a bit more firm. “Clark. That’s a really bad choice. I think it’d be a good idea to change that last part about the swearing.” First spoonful of dirt or not, such compromise would not do tonight. I could have chosen or invented any number of games that the daycare crowd would approve of. For my purposes and needs, Simon Says was important to me. Minimal rule explaining, and it gave me complete control of the narrative. I spread my arms wide and turned slowly in a circle. “Of course since I’m such a scamp,” I bellowed theatrically, “if I am forbidden from playing the game at least once I shall tantrum like no other and say ALL the naughty words I know. Possibly invent a few by pairing them with funny sounding breakfast dishes!” I held up an index finger to the second Daddy. “But!” I proclaimed. “If any Grown-Up can defeat me, I will yield and take naughty words off the table.” I stood sideways so that each was in my periphery. One Daddy looked at the other. Playful, cocky smiles were exchanged. “You wanna Don?” “Sure, Carl. Let’s play with the kids.” Amazon arrogance at its finest. Real adults didn’t make bets with children. Good thing there were no actual children around. Beouf had had her moment to spew her brand of crazy. We’d fight tomorrow, I was sure. Here? Now? I was the ringmaster, this my circus, and I had more monkeys under me than just the ones decorating my underwear. “Hi Clark!” I looked down and saw my favorite nutter. “Hey Amy,” I said. “You playin?” She closed her eyes and waggled her head. “Naw. I’m counting.” I flashed a winning folksy smile, and gave her a thumbs up. It was the same kind of gesture I might give to one of my students or their parents when first meeting them. Amy and her ilk were much less frustrating when you didn’t expect that much out of them. “Thanks, friend! Keep me honest!” “Yup yup.” From her spot on the floor she copied me. “Someone’s gotta.” The hell did that mean? “You don’t want to get in on the action? Make me say something embarrassing?” She scooted backwards on her butt while the crowd got in place. “Naw. You kinda do that enough on your own. No offense.” “Some taken.” Her smile was so soft and sincere that I genuinely couldn’t tell if she was fucking with me. Now I had to fuck with her back. I wanted her to play. “Yeah, but you could make me say anything,” I prodded. “You could make me talk about how I looooove being a baby or that I miss my Mommy whenever she’s out of the room or something.” I made my voice as silly and mocking as I could to get the pitch across. That alone got a few who were on the fence about playing in the game. Again, I couldn’t quite read Amy’s expression. It’s like she had something to say, but thought better of it; not a trait that I’d associate with Amy. What she did say was “If I want I can make a kid give me their prize at least half of them owe me something you’d be surprised what can be found and traded for favors at daycare.” I felt myself shudder. Knowing Amy, such treasures were likely dust and lint covered and at one time had been edible. ‘Fair enough.” “Also I want to give you a chance to win. I like you, buddy. Good luck.” I twisted my mouth up and felt my eye twitch but said “Thanks” anyways. Unnecessary though it was, I cupped my hands and started my spiel anew. “Okay, listen up everybody! The game is Simon Says. The rules are simple, everybody knows ‘em, but just for review: When we start playing, if I say ‘Simon Says’ and tell you to do something, you do it. If you don’t do it, you’re out. If I tell you to do something without first saying ‘Simon Says’ and you do it, you’re out, too. If you’re in the game, you stand or crawl or sit here.” I gestured to the area where everyone already was. “If you’re out,” I continued, “you move off to the side and join the audience. Amy is keeping track of how many rounds I go without eliminating someone. Ten in a row I lose.” I turned my head briefly to the (for now I hoped) gathered Littles that were watching instead of playing. “Audience, if you catch someone that I miss, call ‘em out on it. Players, if you get called out, be a good sport and join the audience. As fun as this is, it’s still just a game.” I gestured to myself. “As for me, I’m going to be tricksy, but I’m going to be honest and play square. It is my job to lie to you and misdirect you, but I will never cheat by telling you to do something that you are physically incapable of doing. If I say ‘hop’ but you’re a crawler and can’t hop, you’re safe. Same with doing something impossible like licking your own elbow.” Right on cue four or five of my players experimented to find that no, they could not lick their own elbows. “I also won’t ask you to do anything to anybody else like lick your neighbor’s elbow.” That got the appropriate amount of smirks, snickers, and giggles. Even the Daddies hid their smiles behind the palms of their hands. This was going great. “Likewise, ‘Simon Says’ only counts for direct commands, not questions. I can ask a question or say something to you and you’re allowed to talk back.” I paused and directed my gaze over to my favorite sulking corner. “Hey big kid!” I shouted. “Do you wanna play?” Collectively well over a dozen heads looked behind them, turning the poor girl into a deer on the highway. The Tweener who’d been standing in the corner slunk down and hugged her knees “I’m good…” she said just loud enough for me to hear. “Cool!” I regained the class attention. “And if she were playing, she wouldn’t be out. That is unless of course, the last command I had given was ‘Simon Says no talking’.” General head nodding all around. This part wasn’t about explaining rules as much as it was developing a rapport with my newest batch of suckers. I took in the tiny crowd and noticed Amy rubbing her tummy with one hand and patting the other. “Oh, and yeah, every ‘Simon Says’ cancels out and overrides the ‘Simon Says’ that came before it. So if I say ‘Simon Says rub your tummy’ and then I say ‘Simon Says pat your head’, you stop rubbing your tummy and start patting your head. But if I say ‘Simon Says pat your head and rub your tummy’ you gotta do both.” I flashed her another thumbs up. Thanks, Amy.” “Hmmm?,” she looked mildly startled. “I just wanted to see if I could do both.” Yeah, that figured. “Okay, I think that about covers it,” I said. “So with that out of the way, we are now playing Simon Says as soon as I finish this sentence.” I took a quick breath. My throat was dry, both from talking and from nerves. Now or never to see if this strategy might yield fruit. “Okay, so everybody understand the rules?” There was nodding and verbal affirmations. I swatted at my ears as if their replies were buzzing gnats. “Whoah whoah whoah! Guys! Sorry! My bad! Too much talking all at once! Let me try it another way. Raise your hand if you understand the rules.” Almost half of the hands playing went up. “OH NO!” Amy laughed. “GOTTEM!” The wry smile on my face was completely genuine. Too late it dawned that they’d been duped. “Simon didn’t say. Gotcha!” “Oh gosh,” Daddy number two said. “Carl!” Carl flopped his head in defeat. The Tweener in the corner’s eyes lit up with surprise and joy. “I’m an idiot,” he growled at himself. “Oooooooooooo!” The Littles cheered and jeered and snickered. Even ‘idiot’ was a naughty word to these dolls. I thumbed to the side like a hitchhiker while rambling like an auctioneer. “Outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame!” The first round of victims walked and toddled to the side. “I can’t believe that worked!” I crowed. “Can you guys?” Stony silence was my reply. I played at being exasperated. “Friends! Friends! Guys! We already established that unless I say ‘Simon Says no talking’, then it’s okay to answer my questions. So can you believe they fell for that?” I waited and let the silence work for me. One…two….three….four… “No,” “Yeah. Me neither!” My smile got even wider. “Outtamygame, outtamygame! I just said ‘Simon Says no talking’.” “Kylie!” Amy said. “Bea! C’mon! We’ve practiced for this!” Two Little girls trudged off my impromptu playing field. In two moves I’d eliminated half the players. “Simon Says you can talk if you want.” I said. “Pretty tricky, huh?” “Yeah.” “Uh-huh.” “Yessir.” Oh I needed to hear that more than I’d anticipated. “Okay, since we’ve already gotten a lot of people out, how about some of you in the back come a little closer to the front?” “Bradley! Buddy! Nooooooo!” The dark haired whipping boy of fate blushed and then waddled off. “Mommy says…Darn it…” He plopped himself down next to Amy and she patted him consolingly on the back. I felt kind of bad picking on someone who’d been put through New Beginnings. At least he was getting some words back. Enough false starts. Any more and they’d pay too careful attention and I only had so much time. “Simon says touch your head.” I demonstrated the action, half a second later the Littles and remaining Amazon copied me. One finger on Amy’s right hand went up. “Simon says touch your shoulders.” I modeled. They quickly copied. Two fingers. “Simon says touch your knees.” Again. Third finger. “Touch your toes.” I didn’t move. Neither did they. Four fingers. “Simon says touch your toes.” I modeled. They copied. Amy had an entire hand unclenched. “Simon says touch your ears.” Six fingers. Four left. “Simon says touch your nose.” Seven. I whipped my hand over to my shoulder. “Simon says touch your elbow.” “Don!” Carl laughed. “What are you doing?” The last remaining Amazon and three other Littles were all touching their shoulders. My thumb came out. “Outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame! I said Simon says touch your elbow. That’s your shoulder.” Amy was incredulous. “You guys! Seriously? You are out of practice.” Her fingers all curled back into her fists. Funnily enough, I agreed with her. Beouf’s daily brainwashing didn’t beat your mind down until submission. Quite the opposite. It sharpened and rewarded it and taught you to talk to yourself as if you were an Amazon. It encouraged you to think outside the box and make arguments that didn’t make sense and accept nonsense as if it were obvious fact. Beouf didn’t want her Littles hypnotized into submission. She wanted our minds sharpened to the point where we could reject our senses. Some of these inmates had never had Beouf, and those who had had long gotten used to activities that assumed you were a baby, instead of exercises designed to trick you into tricking yourself. Back at school, I could trick Billy and maybe Sandra Lynn. I’d have to work for every other victory. Ivy? I could dupe Ivy once and then her competitive streak would kick in and she’d destroy me. To hear Amy’s reactions, I might not even get that one time out of her; not with only ten strikes. Tonight I had a bunch of toddlerized adults in front of me with not an Ivy among them, and Amy was sitting this one out. “Now things are getting good!” Don scoffed and looked like he wanted to say something nasty. The idea that they’d been tricked by someone they considered a baby was hurting the Amazons’ pride. They whispered something to each other that I couldn’t pick out. They’d also dug themselves a hole by agreeing to play my game. The other cultists might not like it if they agreed they’d let a baby swear. I needed to play it cool or I’d have another Sosa/Winters incident on my hands; on accident no less. “Don’t worry Mister Kylie and Joanie’s Daddies,” I boasted. “I’m not gonna lose.” That didn’t go over with them as well as I’d hoped. Two sets of evil eyes were trained on me. “Hey, Clark?” Amy said loud enough for all assembled to hear. “If you lose, what happens if the Grown-Ups tell the good kids not to make you say a bad word?” On pure reflex I shrugged. “Nothing I can do about that,” I answered. I wasn’t going to lose, though, and I didn’t care if I did. The two Daddies turned towards each other, however, and nodded in satisfaction. Amy had just given all three of us an out. Funnily enough, I might have been the only one to realize it. As subtle as I could, I placed my fist by my thigh and flashed her a thumbs up. She nodded but kept her hands balled up, ready to count up to ten. Right. The game. “Simon says give me a clap.” CLAP! We all brought our palms together in unison in a single thunderous clap. “Simon says two claps.” CLAP-CLAP! I build up a rhythm. “Simon says clap” CLAP! “Simon says two claps” CLAP-CLAP! “Simon says clap.” CLAP! “Simone says two claps!” CLAP-CLAP! My thumb came out. “Outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame, outtamygame! It’s Simon Says. Not Simone Says. Simone Says doesn’t count.” More grumbling but shuffling off. A bare handful left and a crawler among them. “Simon says jump up and down until the next legal command.” They all hopped up and down on their feet, bouncing like Kangaroos. There was so much movement and crinkling that it sounded like a radio stuck between two different stations. “Hey,” the white-haired kid called up. “When do we stop?” “You heard me,” I replied. “But she’s not jumping,” another Little pointed to the crawler, the blonde girl who’d been munching on berries in her Mommy’s lap from earlier. “She doesn’t have to,” I said. “That’s not faaaaair!” I spread my arms wide and indicated all around. “Who said this was fair?” The crawler beamed cheekily. I was letting her win for now and she was enjoying it. “Noooo!” the white haired kid whined. “She’s cheating!” No. I was. “How?” “Juni can walk!” came the reply from the cup stacker girl from the audience. “She’s faking!” The berry eater stood up. “Brittany!” she yelped. “I was winning.” Her diaper visibly resisted coming up with the rest of her. “She was probably pooping and got stuck,” the white haired boy said. He was still jumping, so the revelation came out in bits and spurts like he was on a galloping horse. “Juni always gets on her hands and knees and pretends to be really interested in something on the floor when she poops.” “Danny!” the girl shrieked. “I’m gonna kill you!” “What?” Brittany giggled. “That’s why your Mommy was giving you all those berries, wasn’t she? You probably just started pooping when he was doing rules stuff and finished after he started.” Juni’s face flushed nearly the same color of pink as the juice that still stained her lips. “Brittany!” I held in my laughter and bit my knuckles. That cheeky bitch! That poor cheeky bitch! She almost got away with it too! “Outtamygame!” One of the Daddies, Carl, stepped around behind her and pulled back. “Yup. Let’s go, Juni” His husband quick-stepped over to the diaper bags while Carl carried an annoyed Juni over to the changing table. “Okay folks,” I said. “Nothing to see, eyes on me.” I looked to my contestants who had been bouncing around for the entire exchange. “Okay guys, my bad. You can stop.” All but one stopped. “Out! Of! My! Gaaaaaame!” One or two tried to start jumping again like I hadn’t seen, but jeers and callouts shamed them into the fold. Only one remained. “Okay Derwin,” I said. “Simon says stop jumping.” He stopped. “It’s Danny.” His voice was strong. He wasn’t even close to winded. He was focused and had been blending in the whole time. Unblinking. Focused. Ready for any trick. I had one left. Time to wrap this up, and I thought I knew how to do it. “Simon says touch your nose.” My arm touched my ear. His went to his nose. One. “Simon says jump!” He did precisely one. I’d put no modifier. Two. “Give me a clap!” I was the only clapper. Three. “Simon says two claps.” CLAP-CLAP! Four. “Simon says clap!” CLAP! “Simon says two claps!” CLAP-CLAP “Simmons says clap.” Nothing Five, six, and seven, respectively. The white haired kid did not smile. He did not sneer. He was in the zone. I double checked Amy’s fingers. “Okay. Simon says clap!” CLAP! Eight. “Simon says give me two claps!” CLAP-CLAP! Nine. “Simon says Daryl give me half-a-clap!” Together our hands started the clap, but froze half way in a fakeout. “Gotcha!” the kid said. “Half-a-clap! And the name’s Danny!” I stuck out my thumb and jerked towards Amy. All previously popped fingers were curled back up. “That’s right. My command was for someone named Daryl. Not you, Danny. Out! Of! My! Game!” The white haired kid fell down to his knees and yanked at his snowy locks. His screams of anguish drowned out by cheers while I took my bow. “Well played! Everyone! Well played! Who wants to go again?” The ranks formed up; soldiers ready to attack. I strolled up to my final patsy. “So, no lie: I’m tired and need a break. Dobson, do you wanna be Simon?” The white haired kid leapt up and got right in my face. “No!” he barked. “I don’t wanna play stupid Simon says!” I held my breath and leaned back. Everyone else was frozen. Even the Grown-Ups, fresh from freshening up Juni looked momentarily stupefied “But we can play ‘Danny Says’.” I stuck my hand out. “Deal!” He shook it, flashed me a cheshire grin like he’d won something and took over. “Danny Says…” I took my place in the audience beside Amy. All eyes had been on me. Now they weren’t. “Outtamygame! Yeah! Danny!” “Good job, Clark.” “Thanks Amy. I play a mean game of Simon Says.” “Yeah. Pretty good,” she agreed. “That’s not what I was talking about, though…” A terrible thought rampaged through my brain: “Amy?” I whispered. “You haven’t ever tried to break out of a place like this have you? Or your daycare? Or Beouf’s? Any place where their job is to treat us like kids?” Amy ran her tongue between the gap in her teeth while her eyes meandered from side to side. “No. Why?” Her fingers were still managing to keep track of ‘Danny Says’. “Outtamygame!” “No reason,” I told her. “Just wondering…”

So this is it. Thank you everybody for your patience (and even occasional nagging). It's been a real journey. Chapter 28 Tommy turned into the driveway and parked. He walked in through the open garage, casting a nostalgic look to the stroller folded up in the far corner. He cracked open the door. “Ma, I'm here,” he shouted. “Come on in,” she replied. “I was just starting some coffee.” He pushed open the door and walked to the kitchen. “Good to see you ma,” he said wrapping her in a hug. “Good to see you too,” she said returning the hug. “Off on your big trip?” “It's not that big a deal,” he said. “Just a boring speech and then shaking some hands.” “Oh it's just opening a building you designed as part of the first successful seed project,” she said scoffing. “I was just on the team that designed it,” he said as he poured himself some coffee. “And there were a lot of people that made the project a success.” “You can't fool your mother with this false modesty,” she said sitting down with her mug “You must have forgotten I still know people who work there. I know your ideas were what finally made it all work.” “If you say so,” he smiled as he joined her at the table. “Well, can I see it,” she asked. He took a stack of note cards from his pocket and set them on the table. “That's not quite the final draft. But that's more or less what I'll be saying.” She adjusted her glasses as she read through them. She paused at one card in particular as a tear came to her eye. “You're more than welcome baby,” she said reaching across the table to take his hand “Every single moment was a joy.” He squeezed her hand. “It was for me too,” he said as he teared up as well. She quietly read the next card “And there it is,” she said as she sat it down “That's what finally made this whole thing work. Did you learn that here?” He nodded “I just wasn't ready to move forward until I knew myself and knew what I needed and knew that I could ask for those things and depend on people I love,” he paused “I just tried to apply that to helping other people adopt our technology.” She smiled proudly at him “My little boy, saving the world.” He laughed “You were no slouch either, we never could have done it without the air purification project.” “We're a great team,” she chuckled. She looked at her watch “You probably need to be going.” He nodded “I guess so,” he got up and gave her a hug “Bye, ma.” She hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek “Goodbye baby, and good luck. I know you'll do great.” “Thanks, ma, see you in a week.” He waved and walked out the door. As he climbed into the driver's seat of his car he took a moment to take a pair of sunglasses from his backpack. Next to them was an old faded piece of cloth, one corner stitched carefully in place. He took it in his hands for a moment, enjoying the memories it brought, before stowing it securely again. He backed out onto the road and took one last look at the house. He took a breath, smiled, and drove off into what he knew could be a whole new world. The End

Chapter 27 Tommy tried to stand still while his mother adjusted his clip-on bow tie and straightened out his suspenders. She gave his bangs one last tweak and kissed him on the forehead. “You're going to do great baby,” she smiled proudly. “Thanks, mommy, I'll do my best,” Tommy replied as he fiddled with the pacifier in his pocket. Over a few weeks of practice, it had helped him prepare for this day but had to be hidden away momentarily for this performance. “I know you will. Your teachers say you've been practicing really hard. And that pacifier has really been helping.” He nodded “Yeah it works really good,” he thought for a moment “Can I keep using it?” “If you want to honey,” she smiled wistfully and put a hand on his shoulder“There's something I want to show you after you're done.” Tommy blinked “OK mommy,” he said curiously. She kissed his forehead again “Such a good boy.” She checked his diaper. “All set. Let's get you with your class.” She took his hand and led him to where other preschoolers were assembling in a backroom of the museum where the concert was being held. She approached Mrs. Hansley who was wrangling the class into a neat line. “This guy is all ready to go,” she smoothed his bangs once more “all clean and dry too.” Tommy squirmed slightly but quickly fell into line with his classmates. “Thank you,” Mrs. Hansley chuckled. “We'll take care of all that from here.” Tommy waved goodbye to his mother as she exited. He fidgeted in nervous anticipation as he heard the kindergarten class take to the stage. His class would be next and while he felt nervous about getting up in front of all those people, he couldn't wait to show mommy what he'd been working on. A round of applause signaled the kindergarten's exit from the stage and Mrs. Hansley quickly called the class' attention while her fellow teachers made sure to keep everyone in line. They filed through a large wooden door and up onto the stage to the awwws of the audience. He searched the audience for his mother and saw her beaming at him at the edge of the third row. He smiled back for a moment before the piano started. He stood in front of the audience a happy smiling preschooler and sang loud enough that his mother could hear, he wanted nothing more than to make her proud. The song came to a close and his heart soared as he watched her grin and applaud. He filed back behind the stage and into a small playroom that had been set up for the preschoolers. He sat down and busied himself with some toys while he waited for her to come and get him after the concert ended. After some time he looked up and saw her coming through the doorway. He took off and ran into her arms as she knelt down to hug him. “You did great baby,” she said as she embraced him. “Thanks, mommy,” he said returning the hug. She paused and rubbed his back for a while “Remember how I said I needed to show you something?” Tommy nodded. “Are you ready?” “Sure mommy, what is it,” he asked curiously. “Come with me,” she took his hand and led him through the museum. The crowds were gone now, and they had the entire place to themselves. They arrived at a large round room in the center of the building. Pictures and artifacts of the town's past lined the walls. “Do you know anything about the old seed project?” she asked as she paused in the center of the room. “That was when they tried to make other places like this right?” he said scrunching his face in confusion. “That's right,” she nodded “If you can set up the initial technology then all of this becomes possible. The idea was to get it started wherever they could.” “Didn't they send out families, like undercover,” He asked. She nodded and stepped toward one of the displays “You see this picture?” Tommy peered at the photo of two adults with a teenage girl. His jaw dropped. “You...” She nodded. “But why didn't you say?” He said in shock “It was supposed to be a secret,” she explained. “Their plan hadn't worked, and they thought I might be able to restart things.” He stammered for a moment before being able to spit out a coherent question. “Did you know I'd have to go to preschool and stuff?” “I really didn't know how things would go. Everyone said you'd find a place to fit in. I wasn't sure at first but” she paused “I found that piece of your old baby blanket hidden in your room.” Tommy frowned a bit and nodded “Yeah I just said I threw it away cause everyone at school was calling me a baby.” “But you kept it. You still sort of wanted to stay a bit little right? Even back then?” Tommy looked down “Yeah I guess, it was sort of hard to tell.” “After that, I thought they might be right and I decided to move us here,” she looked at him seriously “And I'm really glad I did. I think it's been good for both of us. And I did what I came here to do.” He looked at her in puzzlement “What do you mean?” She took a breath “You know how things were after the eruption?” “All those volcano gasses in the air? Yeah, that was really bad.” “We found a way to fix it,” she said smiling. “That's what I've been working on this whole time.” His jaw dropped even further than before. “That's amazing. You did that?” She smiled “Well it was a whole bunch of us, but yes. That was my project,” She put a hand on his shoulder “I always thought we might move back once it all got fixed, but you seem so happy here. Are you?” He nodded his head vigorously “Yeah, I like things this way. Like, I want to grow up someday. But this is like a second chance, you know?” He smiled. She smiled as tears welled up in her eyes. “So I can be your mommy a little while longer?” He grinned “As long as I can be your baby.” She picked him up and squeezed him tightly “Of course, you can. You'll always be my baby.” He hugged her back “I love you, mommy.” She rocked him gently “I love you too baby.” He smiled proudly at her “Do you think I could grow up to be a scientist like you?” She grinned “Of course sweety, you can be anything you want when you grow up,” she patted his bottom “No hurry though.” He shook his head and smiled “No mommy, no hurry this time.” She kissed his forehead “That's my little boy,” she gave him a bounce “How about some ice cream to celebrate your debut performance?” She started making her way towards the exit. He laughed. “Yeah mommy, that sounds good.” She took him to the car and strapped him snugly into his car seat. “And before I forget,” she said reaching into her purse. “I thought you might want this.” She pulled out an old care-worn baby blanket, its once stray corner now stitched in place. “Do you want this back?” she asked. Tommy beamed “Of course mommy,” he said in delight as he took the soft fabric and held it tightly. “Just promise you won't pretend to throw it away again.” He shook his head “No way, I'm going to keep it forever.” She smiled “I thought so.” She kissed his forehead again. “Let's go get that ice cream.” She shut the door and got into the driver's seat. Tommy rode in his car seat, his baby blanket in hand as he nursed his pacifier. He didn't know what the future held. But it didn't matter. His mommy loved him and he loved her. And together they'd face that future.

OK, here we go. We're down to the last few chapters. This one is a little different but it's a step towards wrapping up the story. Chapter 26 Tom woke up to the screeching of his alarm. He rolled out of bed and silenced it. Pausing briefly to stretch, he made his way to the bathroom, used the toilet, and stepped into the shower. As the warm water washed over him he thought about how his time in the sixth grade was coming to a close. At last, he'd be in Junior High. At last, he'd have a chance to be as grown-up as he knew he was. But did he really know that? He shut the doubt down and tried to focus on the future. There was some uncertainty. He didn't know if his mother would take the job in the new town or not, or what exactly waited for him if she did. Nobody seemed to know much about the strange far-away place. Some people said they had different technology than everybody else. But it was hard to know what to believe. With a twist of the tap, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel as he did. He opened his closet and took a moment to select a shirt and pair of jeans. Months ago picking out his own clothes seemed like it would make him feel like a big kid. He'd insisted on it, but hadn't quite worked yet. He'd heard that kids in Junior High started to care about fashion more. Maybe then? A small piece of frayed fabric wafted down from its hiding place in the upper reaches of the closet. He picked it up. Feelings of comfort mixed with shame came over him. Two competing memories he'd wrestled with for years. He looked down the hall and saw no one. He quickly stashed it under his pillow. He dressed and went to the kitchen. “And in other news,” some voice on the TV stated “the fifth anniversary of the erupt...” His mother clicked off the TV to focus on something on her phone. “Good morning hon,” she said as he walked in. “Good morning mom,” he replied as he grabbed a box of cereal. “Have you decided yet?” She shook her head and set down her phone. “What do you think?” He shrugged “I don't know” he motioned toward the TV “Is it true that stuff hasn't affected them cause of that... thing ” She nodded “Yes, they have a sort of shield if you want to call it that.” “Is that why nobody really knows about them,” he asked as he poured out the milk. “Mostly, but I'm sure they're just like everybody else,” she wiped at a stray speck of dirt on the counter. Tom shrugged “Whatever, I'm just glad I'm going to this little kid school anymore,” he rolled his eyes theatrically as though trying to make a point. She smiled “Ah yes, my big junior high schooler,” she looked him in the eye “but enjoy this while you can you might miss it.” “No way. I'm already way too mature for all this,” he said with a dismissive wave. “Of course,” she said, “But just try to enjoy this while you can.” He just rolled his eyes “I'm sure I'll really enjoy it.” He quickly dug into his cereal and tried again to bury his doubts. After a few minutes, he let his spoon clatter into the empty bowl as he grabbed his backpack and hurried for the door. “Bye mom,” he said as he rushed out. “How about a goodbye hug?” She said as the door shut behind him. She sat back down at the table. He seemed determined to grow up. But something about it never seemed quite right. Tom climbed aboard the school bus and shuffled past a gaggle of noisy first graders sitting in the front of the bus. He reached the back and fell into his usual seat near his friend Ethan. “Boy I can't wait to go to a different school than those little runts up there,” he said. “Good morning to you too,” Ethan said chuckling. “Good morning,” Tom sighed “It's just that my mom keeps trying to convince me to be a little kid. Bet things are different when I'm not in the same school as those babies. I was never that immature in first grade.” “Are you sure?” Ethan said, “Didn't you bring that piece of your old baby blanket to school that one time?” “Yeah yeah but...” Tom stammered. Ethan grinned as he continued “You said your mom had cut it out so you could keep it in your pocket. Then all those kids made fun of you.” Tom glared. “Yeah and then I threw it away since I wasn't a baby anymore.” “Sorry, I didn't know you were so touchy this morning,” he put up his hands. “So do you think you're really going to move,” he asked changing subjects. Tom relaxed a bit “Maybe, my mom hasn't decided yet.” “That place sounds really interesting, nobody knows anything about it. It'd be like an adventure,” Ethan opined. “Yeah maybe,” Tom said uncertainly. “At least they don't have any of this,” Ethan said motioning to the haze already obscuring the sun. Tom looked out the window “Yeah I sure hope somebody can fix that.” “I'm still thinking about it,” Karen said into the phone as she puttered about the house before work. “Of course, I'd love to move back,” she collected Tom's cereal bowl from the table and set it in the sink “I'm just not sure how he'd react to the added... challenges.” “They keep saying he'll find his level,” she moved down the hallway “But I just don't know. He seems so determined to be big.” “He used to be like that,” she smiled to herself “He had the little blanket he took around everywhere. When he was starting the first grade I gave him a little corner of it to keep in his pocket. He was so proud of what mommy did he did a show and tell on it. Then he got teased, and it just wasn't the same. Always trying to be grown up.” She wiped away a small tear. “But I don't know. Sometimes it seems like a front.” “That's kind of you to say,” she said composing herself “But I'm sure there's someone else who could do it.” “No, I haven't told anyone” she opened the door to her son's room. “I'll let you know soon,” she slid the phone into a pocket and spent a few minutes straightening out a few things around his room. She turned to his bed and smoothed out the heap of sheets. She picked up his pillow and found a small frayed piece of cloth underneath. She looked at it for a moment before putting it back. She returned to the kitchen and sat down at the table and spent a few minutes lost in thought. She took her phone from her pocket.

Tommy sat on the living room floor carefully building his skyscraper. Rain had begun to fall steadily outside, a storm they'd only just missed as they came inside. The cartoon he'd been watching was now nearly tuned out as he contemplated his growing structure. Working elevators had proved to be the most challenging element. But he'd spent the afternoon wrangling the complicated pieces into something he thought might work. He pressed a button and watched in delight as his elevator rose to the top. “I did it,” he exclaimed. “Good job,” his mother said as she set her book down and stood up. She came over to him and knelt down. “You mind showing me how you did it.” Tommy looked away. “It's nothing really. It's just s silly toy.” “It's a big deal to me. I'm proud of all the things you're learning.” Her praise easily overcame his reluctance to open up. He excitedly explained the system of gears and pulleys he'd constructed as she looked on smiling. She gave him a pat on the back. “That's very impressive honey. Bet you didn't think you could something like that just a little while ago.” Tommy shook his head “Not really.” He thought for a moment. “I guess going to school where I do really does help.” She nodded “I think so too.” She checked his diaper. “Ready for a little break?” “Oh,” he said. “I guess.” She reached for the stash of diapering supplies she kept by the couch. “Just lie back, baby.” Tommy stretched out in front of her. She undid his shorts and pulled them down. “Good thing the roof is sturdy or this wouldn't be the only thing soaked around here,” she said as the rain began to pick up again. She untaped the sodden diaper bundled it up and put it aside. She lifted his bum before cleaning him up shaking out a healthy dose of baby powder. “I”m glad we went to the store early,” she opened a new package of diapers “You're all resupplied and we can stay out of this.” She removed a new diaper and unfolded it before she let his freshly-powdered bottom down. “That means we can just spend a nice afternoon at home, can't we,” she said sweetly as she fastened his diaper in place and checked its snugness. “Yeah, it's nice to just hang out together sometimes,” Tommy smiled as his shorts were pulled back into place. “I have an idea for something we can do,” she said, helping him to his feet. “How about we make cookies together?” Tommy laughed “Come on mommy, that's just...” “Just what?” She said giving the tip of his nose a pinch “You used to love it.” “But... It's just different now.” She gave him a pat on the bottom “Well if you're too grown-up to be mommy's helper I guess we won't have any cookies.” Tommy rolled his eyes and laughed “OK, mommy. It sounds like fun.” They went into the kitchen she began gathering supplies. “I'll mix all this together and you can use this.” She handed him something that looked almost like a detached sink faucet. It had a funnel at the back end. Several levers and buttons ran along the side of the "spigot." “What's this?” he said puzzled. “That takes the cookie mix and makes it better. I” ll show you how to use it when all this is ready.” She worked quickly, pouring flour, sugar, butter, chocolate chips, and other ingredients into a large bowl. After some button-pushing, a cover slid neatly in place and the bowl began to shake. She tried explaining the process, but Tommy just nodded. The lid slid open again revealing a quantity of rich thick dough. “Want to taste a little bit?” she said offering him a dollop of the mixture on a spoon. He hesitated “Isn't that...” he started. “Don't worry, it's safe.” He took a taste from the spoon. “Wow, that's already really good,” She nodded “And now we're going to make it even better.” She quickly gave him some instructions on how to use this device. He understood this explanation a lot better, but it was still hard to grasp. “Ready to give it a try?” she asked. “I think so,” Tommy replied uncertainly. She dropped a bit of dough into the funnel and Tommy went to work to the best of his ability. Finally, he pressed down on the lever and squeezed out a lump of dough onto the cookie sheet. He looked it over, it clearly wasn't quite right. “Here baby let me show you,” she reached around him and began guiding his hands while she again patiently explained the process. Outside the rain had grown considerably and in the distance, he heard a worrying clap of thunder. He glanced out the window and noticed a faint orange glow ripple across the clouds. It was like no storm he'd ever seen, but he felt his mother's embrace as she gently guided him through this task and it quickly left his mind. Together they created several perfectly round drops of cookie dough. “OK, now try,” she said as she let go of his hands but remained close behind. With some effort, he managed to create one not as good as the last few, but much better than his first attempt. “Good job baby!” she exclaimed. He knew how silly this all was, but he couldn't hide the fact that he was already beaming. And with a little more hands-off guidance he managed to complete a sheet of not-so-perfect spots of dough. She gave him a peck on the cheek “Aww, my little helper.” He groaned but the smile never left his face. She took the sheet and put it in the oven. “I'm serious. You really did good.” “Thanks for showing me how, I had fun.” “So did I,” She said smoothing his hair. They sat at the kitchen table and chatted for a while until the oven dinged. She took the cookies from the oven and set them down on the counter. He immediately reached for one. “Uh uh uh,” she admonished “they're still hot.” He quickly withdrew his hand “Sorry.” “That's OK honey. They're pretty tempting aren't they?” He watched in anticipation as she took a spatula and moved them to a plate. “I thought we could have these on the couch and watch a movie.” Tommy nodded “That sounds like a good idea.” She took the plate of cookies into the living room and set it down on the coffee table. “What do you want to watch?” She asked picking up the remote. Tommy shrugged “I don't know.” “How about the Floppy Bunny Movie.” Tommy had to admit he'd probably like it. “Yeah sure.” He ventured a hand towards the plate of cookies but stopped and looked to his mother “Are these cool enough now?” he asked hopefully. “Yes, I think so,” Karen laughed as she started Floppy Bunny. Tommy grabbed a cookie and settled into a spot on the floor. “What are you doing over there?” she asked as she unfolded a blanket. He smiled and sat and the couch where his mother wrapped the both of them in the blanket before grabbing the plate, setting it down on her lap, and taking a cookie. Tommy snuggled close and took a bite of his cookie. It was warm and sweet, perfectly crispy on the edges with a soft gooey center. “Wow, this is the best cookie ever,” he said his mouth still full. His mother took a bit of hers “These are good” she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in closer “and all the better because we made them together.” Tommy smiled and rested his head on her shoulder as the scene on TV opened on Floppy Meadows. Together they enjoyed the cookies and watched Floppy and his friends try to outsmart Sneaky Fox. Halfway through a series of thunderclaps roared outside. He looked outside and saw the strange orange glow again. Instinctively he nestled closer. She squeezed him tighter. “It's still far away,” she said reassuringly as she turned up the volume. Finally, the scene closed on Floppy and friends celebrating their victory and the credits began to roll. Karen looked over to her son as he rested drowsily against her. “Feeling a little sleepy?” Tommy nodded and yawned “Yeah, I'm tired.” She swiped a dob of chocolate off the corner of his mouth. “Think you can sit through a bath?” Tommy just nodded. “Well come on then,” she said as she collected him from the couch and held him in her arms. She carried him upstairs to the bathroom and sat him down before running the water. She turned her attention to his clothes, getting him down to his diaper before ripping off the soaking thing and throwing it away. She sat him down in the tub and grabbed the bottle of soap and a cloth. “That was a really nice weekend,” she said happily. Tommy smiled through his sleepy state. “Yeah, it was really nice. Thanks for doing stuff with me.” She grinned as she began to lather him up. “Aww, it's my pleasure sweety. Thanks for going along with me.” She began to wipe his face “You really liked those cookies huh?” “All that stuff really works,” he closed his eyes and allowed her to wash his hair. Suddenly thunder sounded again, closer than before. She rubbed a bit of soap into his back “Don't worry about baby, you're safe inside.” “I know,” he said “It's just sort of...” “I understand,” she said as she began to rinse him off. “Alright! All clean and ready for bed,” she said she lifted him from the tub and wrapped him in a big fluffy towel. She dried him off and picked him up again, still wrapped in his towel. She settled him down on the changing table and went to the dresser. “How about bunnies tonight since we enjoyed the movie so much,” she asked holding out a pale blue sleeper decorated with a pattern of little white rabbits. Tommy was too tired to groan, he just smiled and laughed “OK mommy, that's fine.” He was powdered, diapered, and dressed in his PJs. She took him from the changing table and laid him down in his crib. She glanced toward the window “Don't worry about anything, I'll be right here,” she said as she closed the curtain. “Just call for me and I'll come get you.” “Thanks, mommy, but I think I'll be fine,” he said seeming unconvinced. “Just in case,” she tucked him in and kissed his forehead “Good night baby.” “Good night mommy,” he said as he got his bear and nestled in. She clicked the side of his crib closed and turned out the light on her way out the door. Tommy squeezed his teddy and looked over the shaded window. He couldn't see but he knew that a storm unlike any he'd ever seen was raging outside. He allowed himself to be comforted by the glowing light of the baby monitor and managed to drift off to sleep. He was awoken by a deep rumble that seemed to shake the entire house. He looked over to the window and saw the orange glow coming in from the edges of the curtain. He closed his eyes and hugged his bear again. Suddenly the house shook forcefully with a crash of thunder. The orange glow rippled with an intense blue light. Several more bangs followed, each louder than before. He looked at the baby monitor. He couldn't quite make himself do it. A whirling spasm of light shone around the curtains followed by a deafening roar that seemed like it would take the whole house down. “Mommy!” he hollered. In moments the door opened and the light turned on. She hurried across the floor, lowered the side of his crib, and took him in her arms. “It's OK baby, everything's fine.” “We're still safe right?” he asked through tears of fear. She laughed gently “Yes baby, we're safe.” She sat down on the rocking chair and held him in her lap. “Let's just sit here until it all calms down. OK?” She said. He nodded “OK, mommy,” he said with a sniffle. He became aware of a bottle being pressed to his lips and took it. “There we go,” she said encouragingly as she began to rock. “Just relax and everything is going to be OK.” Thunder rang out closely again. But he just laid motionless, nursing his bottle in his mother's lap. She hummed a soft lullaby. The gentle melody seemed like it drowned out all the chaos outside. Slowly the storm died down, leaving nothing but a soft rain falling against the window. “Just try to sleep baby,” she smiled. “I'll put you back in your crib.” Tommy closed his eyes and happily drifted away. He awoke to a soft morning light shining from around the curtains. He was tucked cozily in his crib, his bear was cuddled under one arm, a bottle in his hand. A single bird sang merrily in the tree outside. He looked at his school uniform waiting, hanging neatly from the closet door. In a few hours, he'd be back at school, playing and learning under the watchful eyes of his teachers before coming back home to mommy. It all seemed perfect. His life before a distant memory.

Chapter 24 “Good morning mommy,” Tommy said as he rubbed his eyes. “Good morning baby.” She replied as she got him out of his crib. She hugged him and sat him down on the changing table. “I sure enjoyed our day yesterday, thanks for hanging out with me,” she said as she unzipped his PJs. “I had fun too, thanks for taking me.” She removed his night-time diaper and tossed it into the pail. “We have to go to the store today.” She paused for a moment as she retrieved a fresh one from the diaper stacker. “Which is lucky because you're almost out of diapers.” She cleaned and powdered him before setting him down and taping him up. “Try and think if there's anything you want.” He was dressed in a pair of blue checkers shorts and a shirt with a simple picture of a sailboat before following her downstairs to the breakfast table. His mommy drank a cup of coffee and ate half a grapefruit while he enjoyed a bowl of strawberry cereal. He peered at the maze on the back of the box. It looked impossible, almost dizzyingly complex. “It must be for big kids,” he thought to himself. He was surprised at himself for not including himself in that category, but it seemed undeniable. Karen sat down her empty mug. “Almost ready? I'd like to get to the store early.” He grabbed his bowl and slurped the last of the milk. His mother took one look at him and dunked her napkin in her glass of water. She reached over and wiped a smear of strawberry milk from his mouth. “Keep up like this and I'll need to get you a bib too.” “I was going to wipe it off,” he protested. She patted his head. “I know, I just want to make sure it's all gone, sweety. Don't worry about it.” She stood up and grabbed his diaper bag from the counter. “Come on, let's go.” As they arrived at the supermarket Tommy noticed several large coin-operated rides outside the entrance. One child was giggling with delight as he rode one shaped like an airplane while his mother watched. He had hold of the pilot's yolk and was clearly controlling the movement of the ride. “Wow, that looks fun,” he exclaimed. “I bet we can find some time for that if you're a good boy,” she said as she grabbed a cart. The door slid open and they stepped into the store. A soft chime played over the PA system followed by a cheery voice “Autostockers are active throughout the store. Please ensure that small children are seated inside the shopping cart at all times. Thank your cooperation, and enjoy your shopping experience.” No sooner were those words out than a golf-cart-sized vehicle sped by before quickly turning and darting down an aisle. A mechanical arm quickly unloaded a few boxes and neatly placed them on the shelf before it sped off. Tommy had little doubt about what was coming next. Before we could say a word he was plopped down in the front of the cart. “But mommy...” he started. “You heard what they said. Just let me get what we need and we'll see about one of those rides outside.” Tommy watched another Autostocker silently whiz past and realized he was better off not needing to dodge them. “OK mommy” he relented. “Good boy,” she said as she pushed the cart towards the produce section. As his mother filled the basket Tommy sat in his perch and observed as people went about their shopping. He became aware of dryness in his throat. “I'm kind of thirsty,” he said as she placed a bag of carrots into the cart. “There you go baby,” she said as she took a bottle from his diaper bag. “Thanks, mommy,” he said as she went off in search of more vegetables. He looked around. The crowd in the store was growing. He saw elementary school-aged children simply walking along behind their parents, free of any shopping cart confines. He watched as one girl left to another part of the store to help her mother find something. An awareness of himself sitting in this cart sucking on his bottle began to dawn on him. Then he looked further down the aisle and saw another boy contentedly enjoying his bottle, obviously unworried by anything around him. With a smile, Tommy went back to nursing. She returned and began pushing the cart towards the next aisle. She smiled at him“You really were thirsty,” she ruffled his hair. “This stuff is pretty good I guess,” he said. “Well I know just the place to get more,” she said as she turned down an aisle stocked with stacks of diapers and other baby products. She took a package from the shelf and sat it in the basket. She looked at him slyly “How about some strawberry flavor for a treat? You seem to like that.” He shifted around bashfully. “Thanks, mommy.” “You're welcome, honey,” she said as she moved down the aisle scanning the bags of diapers. As she started grabbing several bags Tommy heard a small but familiar voice. “Hi Tommy,” Josh said excitedly. Tommy looked over at the boy from the pizza place seated in another cart. “Oh, hi,” he replied. “Stocking up too?” Nicole said as she set a few packages in her cart. “Oh, hi Nicole. I didn't see you there.” Karen said in surprise “Yeah, they're having a sale so I thought I'd grab enough to last a while. These are great, I thought we were going to have a disaster yesterday but they held up.” Tommy glanced at his shoes. “The designs are cute, but we haven't had any luck with them at night” Nicole replied. “I put Tommy in these at night,” Karen said as she reached for some night-time diapers “He's soaked in the morning, but no leaks.” She tussled his hair as he blushed. “Maybe I'll give them a try,” Nicole said as she grabbed a package “Thanks for the tip.” She started back down the aisle. “Bye. Nice to see you two again.” Josh waved as he was carted away. “Bye. Good to see you guys too.” Karen waved. She turned to her son. “I hope that stuff doesn't make you too embarrassed, it's just what mommies talk about.” Tommy shrugged “It's OK mommy, I understand.” She smiled “Good to hear.” Tommy rode along from aisle to aisle watching people shopping. Somewhere in the middle of the bread aisle, he felt a finger sneak into his waistband. “Come on, let's get you changed,” his mother said as she turned the cart around and whisked him to the back of the store. She found a place to park their cart, grabbed the diaper bag, plucked him out of his seat, and carried him into the restroom. She paused and looked around for a bit. “No changing table,” she said as she searched one last time. “Well let's see what we can do.” She exited back into the main store and found a woman wearing a name tag emblazoned with the store logo. “Excuse me,” she said as she gave him a little bounce. “I need a place to change this guy's diaper.” Tommy blushed slightly as he hid half his face behind his mother's shoulder. Still, a shy smile slid across his face. The woman smiled back warmly “There's a family restroom over there with a changing table for little cuties like him,” she said pointing to a far corner of the store. “It's really easy to miss.” “Thank you,” Karen as she started toting her son in that direction “You're a real lifesaver.” “You're welcome,” she said giving Tommy a little wave as he was carried away. They entered the spacious brightly-painted room and Karen lowered the changing room from the wall. She laid him out on it and, in an impish moment, fastened the strap across his chest. “Mommy...” he began to complain. She put a finger to his lips “I wouldn't want you to roll off, don't forget about those rides outside.” Tommy just rolled his eyes. She worked quickly but thoroughly, making sure his bottom was clean, dry, and sufficiently powdered. After a few moments, he was back in her arms being carried back to their cart. They finished their shopping and proceeded to the checkout. Tommy watched his diapers travel down the conveyor belt before they reached the scanner. The clerk took them and scanned them giving him a little smile before handing them on to the bagger. He found himself returning the smile. Once their groceries were bagged and paid for they passed back through the sliding door. “Thank you for being such a good boy about all this,” Karen said as she released him from his seat in the cart and set him on his own feet again. “Still want to try out one of these” she motioned toward the line of rides. Tommy hesitated for a brief second but smiled “Yes please,” he said excitedly. “Well go ahead and pick one.” He looked them over for a moment but he was already nearly decided. He climbed into the airplane ride he'd seen earlier. In front of him was a set of almost realistic-looking controls and gauges beneath a large screen. He heard his mother drop in a coin and suddenly they all lit up and the ride rose beneath him. The screen displayed a cartoonish scene of a sky and ground below as viewed from the cockpit of an airplane. For the first few moments, he simply flew along. The ride responded to each of his inputs as he glided through the sky. But then a spinning target appeared before him. Instinctively he flew towards it. When he reached it a happy clinging sound rang out. Another target appeared, this one requiring a change of course. He grinned and began to maneuver his way towards it. As he closed in he noticed a timer had appeared. When that target had been hit more appeared. And each one he managed to fly into brought about new more challenging ones. The ride rolled back and forth and side to side as he navigated his way through the course. Eventually, it became too difficult and his game came to an end. In his excitement he halfway leaped from the ride before his mother caught him and sat him down “Careful sweety,” she said. But he barely noticed as he enthused about the experience. She smiled “I could tell you were having fun. You were laughing the whole time, just like that little boy when we came in.” “Really,” he asked in somewhat embarrassed surprise.“I didn't really notice,” he shrugged. “Thanks, mommy, I had a lot of fun.” “You're welcome baby, do you mind getting up for me one more time so we can get to the car?” “OK, mommy,” he answered. She hoisted him back up into the cart and started back to the car. Tommy looked up to the clouds gathering in the sky. “Looks like we made a good call going shopping early, it's really going to pour.” “Did you know cause you're a scientist,” he asked. She grinned and tussled his hair “Mommies just know these things.” He smiled up at her. He knew she was joking, but he felt lucky to be cared for by the smartest person he knew.

Chapter 23 The park sprawled over a massive plot of land near the lake that sat to the north of town. Hiking paths and bike trails wound around hills and woods, past ponds and picnic areas. As noon approached a small crowd of people had appeared to enjoy the day's pleasant weather. “I think I should have brought it. We're going to be doing a lot of walking. Are you sure you're fine without it?” Karen asked her son. “Mom, I don't need a stroller. I'll be fine.” “Well let me know if you start getting tired,” she said looking at him skeptically. “Do you want to go see the zoo,” she asked pointing towards that path that led off to the right “I heard they have a special event this weekend.” “Yeah, that sounds like fun,” Tom said. They headed towards the entrance and found the zoo only about to open. As they waited to enter, without quite thinking about it, Tommy slipped his pacifier into his mouth and slowly inched closer to his mother. As they passed through the turnstiles and into the zoo an attendant handed them both earbuds explaining that they'd play information as they moved about the zoo. He looked it over for a moment and slid it into his ear. A soft chime sounded and a happy voice intoned “Welcome to Baby Animal Week! To celebrate the arrival of a new chimpanzee, this week we're focusing on how different animals care for their babies.” A sense of self-awareness began to creep in. They followed a sweeping path to the right. As they rounded the bend the tiny device in Tommy's ear sensed its location and gave a soft tone. “Baby elephants are called calves,” the voice intoned. “Elephant calves sometimes suck their trunks for comfort, just like a human baby may suck his thumb or pacifier.” She looked down at him nursing his pacifier and grinned. He squirmed with a tinge of embarrassment, but he was enjoying himself too much to consider taking it out. They spent most of the morning taking in the zoo. As they passed each exhibit they learned about lemurs, tigers, penguins, bears, and all kinds of animals. In the back of the zoo, they approached the day's star attraction. “Chimpanzee babies are called infants, just like human babies,” the narration intoned. “Our new chimp will spend years at his mother's side, depending on her for food, protection, and learning.” The crowd watched as the mother chimp emerged from the back of the enclosure. An audible aww went up as they spotted the small creature clinging to her. “Sometimes even older chimps like to get in on the act after a new baby is born.” Tommy noticed a slightly larger chimp clinging to its mother's back “Bingo, one of our older babies, has gone back to sneaking in a ride every now and then. And far from being annoyed, she seems happy to baby him a little longer.” The crowd awwed again and he felt his mother mussing his hair. Instead of feeling embarrassed, he started to wonder if maybe he wasn't so odd after all. With the zoo thoroughly explored they made their way to the exit. Noon had come and gone. “I'm hungry. Can we get lunch,” Tommy asked. “Sure hon, I think there's a place near here.”. A short walk away was a small cafe with outdoor seating. After settling into their table, the waitress dutifully supplied Tommy with a large place-mat and a cup full of crayons. He glanced over the placemat. In the center was a drawing obviously meant to be colored in, this was surrounded by a number of complicated-looking math puzzles. “Thank you,” he said to the waitress who had obviously sized him up as a preschooler. “You're welcome sweetheart, just let me know if you need more crayons,” she said before leaving them to peruse their menus. Tommy looked through the list of dishes finding nothing familiar or even appetizing. Even the simplest fare seemed very adult. “Nothing looks good,” he frowned. “Turn it over,” his mother suggested, “there's a kid's menu on the back.” He flipped it around. Beneath the title “For Our Littlest Guests” he found items far more suited to his tastes. “I think I'll have some grilled cheese,” he said as he set down his menu and turned his attention to the place-mat. Around a cartoon drawing of people enjoying the park were ten or so math puzzles. As he peered at the puzzles he began to make sense of some of them. He noticed concepts he'd been learning in school. He zeroed in on a puzzle that dealt with negative fractions, one of the cartoons he'd watched this week had covered this. As he pondered he absentmindedly began to color in the drawing. After some time his attention was pulled from the page as he heard his mother say “...and he'll have the grilled cheese.” He looked up as the waitress thanked them for their order, gave him a smile, and headed back to the kitchen. “I can order for myself, mom,” he said indignantly. “You were having fun so I didn't want to interrupt,” she leaned over and inspected his work. “Good job coloring, and it looks like you're learning fractions.” Her praise, however minor, erased whatever sense of indignation he felt. “Thanks,” he replied. He had just moved on to his third puzzle and nearly finished coloring when their food arrived. On a plate next to a sippy cup sat two halves of a grilled cheese sandwich, both cut into bunny shapes. “We cut all the kid's sandwiches into shapes like that,” the waitress explained, noting the surprise on his face. “I saw that sweater and I thought you might like the bunny shape.” His mother grinned “Thank you, that's adorable.” Tommy shifted in his seat a bit, he'd forgotten he was wearing a bunny festooned sweater. But he smiled “Yeah thanks.” “I thought you'd like it,” she replied. “Let me know if you need anything else.” Tommy was too hungry to worry about the shape of his sandwich and quickly dug in. As they ate they chatted about their week and what they'd seen at the zoo. At the end of their lunch, they both noticed a little boy at the next table crawl happily into his mother's lap. “Do you want to come over here for a little while?” Karen asked her son. “Moooom,” he groaned. “There's people around and stuff.” She nodded “OK, but if you ever need a cuddle, I'm right here.” He groaned again. “Even if there's people around,” she added with a playful poke to his nose. After paying for lunch they set out again into the park. “What are we going to do next?” Tommy asked. His mother shrugged “I thought we'd just walk.” From where they were multiple paths wound through knots of trees down a gentle slope towards the shore of a large lake. The day was warm and pleasant, the chatter of birds filled the trees, and Tommy was simply content to spend the day walking with his mom. “This is nicer than back home isn't it,” Karen asked as she took in the scenery. Tommy nodded “Yeah, I guess I'm glad we came here.” She smiled down at him “I definitely am” As they rounded a corner they spotted a mother powdering her toddler's bottom before setting it down on a fresh diaper. “That reminds me,” Karen said as she pulled Tommy aside and checked him. She took his hand and started towards an empty bench. Tommy's eyes widened “Here?” “It will only take a second honey” she replied. Tommy watched desperately as she pulled the changing mat from his diaper bag. “There's probably a changing room or something. Can't we wait?” She placed the mat back into the diaper bag “I suppose that would be easier. But if we don't find one soon I'm going to find a place to change you. I'm sure you don't want to walk all the way back to the car with a leaky diaper.” Tommy sighed at this reprieve “Thanks, mom.” They came to the crest of a hill. Tommy looked up and saw the same sort of strange aircraft he'd seen the other day. He could make out gears turning and a small flame inflating the balloon above. He pointed “Mom look!” “I see hon, that's neat isn't it?” Suddenly the gears changed direction and the craft changed course. Tommy lost sight of it behind some trees. He groaned softly in disappointment. But then without a word his mother hoisted him up onto a small stone wall that lined a section of the path. After a moment of shock, he noticed that he could still see the balloon from this vantage. He shaded his eyes and watched in wonder as it disappeared over the horizon. “Wow, thanks, mom. That was cool.” He said enthusiastically He turned around and began to try to think of a way back down. But before he could complete the thought he was already being set down on his feet. He looked at her in amazement. If anything she'd been holding back. “You're welcome honey,” she said chuckling at his childish enthusiasm as she took his hand and led him further down the path. Sometime later they walked past a baby sleeping in a stroller She squeezed his hand “You still OK walking,” she asked. “Yeah, I'm fine.” “Then I think I know why you're walking like that,” she pulled back his shorts and checked his diaper. “Come on sweety, you're about to start leaking.” “But mom,” Tommy said as he glanced around at people walking by. “We'll go over here, there's some bushes.” About ten feet off the path a small row of bushes enclosed a patch of grass, offering only modest concealment. She led him over to it and laid the changing mat out in the grass. “Just lay down baby, nobody is going to worry about a little boy getting a diaper change.” He hesitated. He knew he needed it, but he'd never been changed quite so openly before. He sighed and laid down. “That's my good boy,” she said as unshouldered the diaper bag and set it down. Tommy looked around as his shorts were unfastened and slid down. This spot was unobtrusive, but people could clearly see. Yet they paid him little mind at all. To them, it seemed, if he was dressed like a baby or being cared for as a baby then he must be a baby. He heard the tapes of his diaper being undone and suddenly he felt cool air followed by the warmth of the sun. She took wrapped the used diaper in a plastic bag. She saw him looking around and smiled “See? Nobody thinks anything of it.” “I guess not,” Tommy said still somewhat uncertain. She gave him a little tummy tickle. “Maybe I could take off this shirt and let you around in that sprinkler.” He laughed. But he laughed nervously, she almost seemed serious about the suggestion. She popped open the box of wipes and took one out. “If you'd gone a minute longer you'd be getting a rash,” she said as she cleaned him up. She took another wipe and with her other hand took his ankles. Pressing his knees to his chest she easily lifted his backside from the mat. She cleaned his bottom and then took the baby powder canister. Tommy watched the people passing by. And old woman tilted her head at him and gave him a little wave as she went. But nobody seemed to notice much. His bottom was amply powdered and quickly swaddled in a fresh diaper. “Feel better?” she asked and she buttoned his shorts and helped him to his feet. Tommy nodded and smiled sheepishly “Thanks mom, you were right. That's a lot better.” He took her hand and walked until they reached the shore. People milled about watching the sailboats or feeding ducks. They lingered for a moment, taking in the sights. Tommy noticed a small girl walking happily along with a balloon tied to her wrist. As she got closer he noticed tiny little lights floating around inside. He watched in wonderment at the strange toy. “Want one?” his mother asked, motioning toward the balloon vendor up the walkway. “I don't think...” he started. “Oh come on, what kid doesn't want a balloon?” He smiled. “Yes please,” he admitted. “What color?” She said stepping toward the vendor. "Blue” he answered with a bit more excitement than we wanted to. She paid for his balloon and knelt down to tie it around his wrist. “Mom, I can hold on to it,” he protested. Though he held his arm out for her. “I just want to make sure honey,” she said as she tied it securely in place. Tommy happily gazed at his balloon as they continued along the lakeside and took the path back up. He knew it was a small treat, but it felt nice that she'd even thought of it. As the hill sloped up his feet began to feel heavier. He began to wish they had brought a stroller. Halfway up the hill, Karen turned to him “You're slowing down a bit? Getting tired?” Tommy shook his head “I'm fine.” She stopped and looked at him “Are you sure? I could carry you back since we don't have a stroller.” He was taken aback by the offer “I'm fine. It's just a little way.” But a little while later he came to a stop. “Can we just rest a little bit?” “I can just pick you up and you can rest on the way back.” “Mom, I know you're working out and all but you can't...” She lifted him up and brought him around to her side, one arm supporting his bottom. She beamed at him and offered him his pacifier “Just relax baby, I've got you” After the shock diminished he took it and wrapped his arms around her neck, his balloon floating from his arm. She kissed his cheek and gently rocked him for a moment. “My little Bingo” she laughed. Tommy rolled his eyes but said nothing. He hugged her tightly and set his head on her shoulder. As she took off again he closed his eyes, not to sleep but to drink it all in. He felt the mid-afternoon sun. He felt the sway of her body. He felt her embrace. He felt weightless. He felt loved. Soon he heard her footsteps on asphalt and the clunk of their car unlocking. She opened the door, gently sat him in his car seat, and kissed him on the forehead “I love you, baby.” An idea suddenly appeared in his mind. It was something he couldn't contain. “I love you too mommy,” he said. She picked him up again and hugged him tightly for a few moments “Oh baby, you don't know how much that means to me.” She sat him back down and fastened him safely in. She handed him a bottle from his diaper bag and mussed his hair “Let's get home baby.” Tommy sat and drank from his bottle, watching the world go by as mommy took him home.

I've been writing some bits were the reason he needs a change is ambiguous. The last thing I want to do is yuck anybody's yum, but messy stuff just isn't my thing. I've tried writing it and the results just weren't very good. Anyway, here's another chapter. I think I might be able to pick up the pace a little bit. Could be done in about a month maybe. Chapter 22 Tommy laid awake, his eyes still shut. He could smell his mother's coffee already brewing in the kitchen downstairs and hear a bird gently singing in the backyard tree. Under one arm he held his new teddy while the other bear stood guard over one corner of his crib. He nursed drowsily on the last of his nighttime bottle. He heard the door creak carefully open. The sound of footsteps slowly approached. He opened his eyes and looked up at his mother. “Good morning baby. You looked so cozy I didn't want to wake you up.” “Good morning. It's OK. I was just resting.” “In that case, let's get you ready for the day.” She lowered the side of the crib and scooped him up. Tommy was once again surprised at how casually she could do this. And t only seemed to be getting easier. She laid him down on the changing table and began getting him out of his sleeper. “There's a nice big park by the lake. Would you like to go? We could have a nice walk, get some lunch, and they even have a zoo.” “Yeah, that sounds good,” Tommy replied as he was relieved of his night-time diaper. “That's what we'll do then,” she said as she retrieved a fresh diaper from beneath the table. She quickly cleaned her son with a baby wipe and powdered him thoroughly before setting his bottom on the new diaper. She taped him up, let him down on his feet, and walked over to his closet. “I got you some new things,” she said as she gathered a few items of clothing. She turned around. In one hand was a pair of blue corduroy shorts. In the other, a white sweater knitted with a smiling bunny's face on the front. I just thought this was too cute to resist. Do you like it?” she asked almost pleading. It wasn't any more babyish than his school uniform, but it had been some time since he'd been dressed in something hand-picked for cuteness. Even so, as he looked at her hopeful expression, Tommy felt like he had to give something back. If his mother wanted to see him in this outfit, he wasn't about to refuse. “It looks good mom.” She smiled “Glad you like it.” She helped him into the shorts, snapped them up, and adjusted them into a comfortable position. “Almost there,” she said as she pulled the sweater down over his head, and helped him get his arms in. She took a moment to straighten everything out and looked him over. “You look sweet” clearly pleased with the results as she clipped his pacifier to his sweater. Tommy could see that things were still changing. A very short time ago she'd have said something like “handsome” even if she meant the same thing. “Thanks, mom,” he said. She made them both a batch of blueberry pancakes for breakfast and they sat together and discussed their plans for the day. “I need to go by work before the park,” she said as she got up and got his diaper bag. “I just need to check on something.” she sat it down on the table and began assembling the day's supplies. Tommy felt a pang of disappointment, he didn't want to waste time in a boring office. “Do you have to?” he said. "I do,” she said as she got a wipe from its package “Are you going to be a good boy and come along without complaining?” She cleaned a bit of syrup from his mouth. Tommy squirmed a bit at the cold wipe but didn't protest. “Yes mom,” he said resignedly. She produced a comb from within the bag and went to work fixing his hair. “Good boy.” “You don't have to do everything for me,” he said, though he allowed her to continue. “I just want you to look nice. You don't really mind do you?” “Not really, I guess.” He thought for a moment “Do you?” She laughed “No sweety, not at all.” Once she was satisfied she shouldered the diaper bag and led Tommy out to the car, taking care to grab some spare diapers from the stash in the living room. Once he was secure in his car seat they started for her work. Tommy started to wonder what his mom's work looked like. He knew she was some sort of scientist, but he never really understood what she did. As they pulled iup he gazed in wonder at the huge glass structure that rose into the sky from a flourishing garden. Inside he could make out what looked like a waterfall rolling down one side of the atrium. “You work here?” he asked in amazement he was released from his restraints and set on the ground. “I bet you didn't think I did anything cool huh? Tommy took her hand eagerly and made they made their way across the parking lot. Inside the building, he looked up in awe at the waterfall roaring down over a mossy rock face that ran up the side of the towering atrium. The sheer size of it made him feel small. As the approached the elevators he felt a squeeze on his hand and realized his mother had been holding it all this time. “Neat huh?” She said. “Yeah, this place is amazing.” He said in wonderment. He looked to his right and saw what had to be the gym his mother was talking about. It was full of strange-looking pieces of equipment that glowed and hummed. In one corner a woman hoisted a large weight over her head with little apparent effort. “Is that the gym you use?” Tommy asked “Yes, some people like to come in on the weekends.” As they stepped into the elevator he did nothing to pull his hand away from hers. They were inside well away from any danger posed by a car, it simply felt nice. The elevator dinged at their chosen floor and they walked a short way down the hallway and into a sprawling room filled with rows of cubicles above which were banks of monitors showing lists of numbers, graphs, and what appeared to be diagrams of new inventions. He imagined that some of them must be even more advanced than all the strange devices he encountered since moving here. In one corner a monitor displayed a map of the world studded with dots each of which had a future date next to it. They came to the cubicle labeled Karen Welton where they finally entered. She quickly set down the diaper bag and turned to a woman who was working in the cubicle immediately across from her's. “Janet, I'm so glad you're here” she greeted her coworker “I just need to go into the lab for a moment. Could you watch this guy for just a second?” Janet turned from her work. “Oh hi Karen, I didn't see you come in. Yes, I can watch Tommy.” “Thank you” Karen replied letting go of Tommy's hand. “He shouldn't be much of a bother and it will only be a sec.” She knelt down and looked Tommy in the face “Be good for Mrs. Weaver. I'll be right back.” Tommy nodded “OK mom.” “I know you will,” she said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She turned and thanked her colleague and hurried off to complete her errand. Mrs. Weaver spun her chair around to face the boy. “Hi Tommy!” she said smiling “It's nice to meet you. Your mommy's told me so much about you.” “Hi” Tommy replied feeling a little self-consciousness as he looked over his mother's desk and noticed several pictures of himself scattered among diagrams of molecules and pictures of what looked like a giant windmill. “Nice to meet you too.” He looked at the strange blueprint Mrs. Weaver had on her monitor, it looked something like a satellite dish pointed straight up with a set of thin antennas rising from the rim. “What's that thing?” “Oh, this is a Storm Catcher. When a storm passes over the city these attract all the energy out of it then it can be used to make electricity. The storms get really loud though. And the lightning does some strange stuff. Some kids get scared.” Tommy dismissed the notion. As much as things had changed he just couldn't see himself being scared of something like a little storm even a loud one. “I don't think I would.” Mrs. Weaver chuckled “I'm sure you're very brave. But they're pretty loud, and the lightning gets really wild so it's OK to be scared.” Tommy just nodded and looked back at the pictures sitting on his mother's desk. “Does she really talk about me?” he asked. “All the time,” Mrs. Weaver replied with a grin. “She's really proud of how well you're doing in preschool. She told me all about the little picture you made for her. And just yesterday she was bragging about how cute you are sleeping in your crib.” Tommy blushed. But he smiled too. “And” Mrs. Weaver continued “I know she's really looking forward to hearing you sing with your preschool class.” “Oh yeah,” Tommy replied having genuinely forgotten about it “Some of those words are really hard.” Mrs. Weaver nodded “Lots of little kids have trouble with them. But I know you'll try your best and make her really proud.” He looked over her desk again “What's sulfur dioxide conversion?” he asked. “Just something your mommy is working on.” They were interrupted by her return. “Thank you, Janet. I hope he wasn't too much trouble.” She said as she set a folder down on her desk. “Not at all Karen. We were just chatting. I think he might need a change though. He's squirming the way mine used to when they were wet and didn't quite know it.” She knelt down and checked Tommy's diaper. “Good eye as always,” she said as she shouldered the diaper bag. “Thanks for watching him. See you Monday.” She took Tommy's hand. “Don't forget to say bye.” she admonished. He resisted moaning at this unnecessary motherly reminder. “Bye Mrs. Weaver,” he said. “Bye Tommy, bye Karen. See you Monday.” She led her son back out of the office and further down the hallway. “Let's get you changed,” she said as she opened the restroom door. Tommy was almost surprised to see a standard restroom with no obvious advanced technology until his mother waved her hand in front of a panel and a changing table emerged from the wall. “Why do they have those here?” he asked. “Because lots of people like me have to come into work with kiddos who are still in diapers” she lifted him up onto the table “and sometimes we need to change their little bottoms.' Tommy rolled his eyes “Mooooom.” A hint of laughter crept into his groan. She laughed “Well it's all true.” She slid his shorts down and undid the tapes of his diaper. “And we get to show off our cute little guys to our coworkers too.” He pretended not to pay attention but the blush coming over his cheeks gave him away. She took his ankles and pushed his knees towards his chest lifting his bottom from the wet diaper. “Thank you for being good for Mrs. Weaver. I can tell she enjoyed chatting with you.” “She was nice. She told me about those storm catcher things.” Karen nodded as she opened a bottle of baby powder. “She's working on an improvement to the design. Those things make some really amazing storms. I sure hope they aren't too scary.” She dusted his bottom and set him down on a dry diaper. “Are they really that scary?” he asked with a slightly worried tone. “Lots of kids think so,” she said as she brought one end of the diaper up against his stomach.” He thought for a moment “I don't think they could be that scary.” She gave him a skeptical smile as she taped his teddy bear festooned diaper into place. “Well if they are too scary I'll be here for you.” She pulled his shorts back into place and set him down on the ground. “Thanks, mom, but I probably won't be scared.” “I'm telling you just in case sweety” Without prompting he took her hand. “Now let's go to the park. It should be a fun day.” And together they walked back to the car.

Chapter 21 They walked inside and were greeted by a smiling hostess. “Welcome to Barnaby Bear's,” she said “table for two?” Tom glanced around. Two entrances led off from the lobby. From one labeled Barnaby's Big Canyon came a cacophony of digitized explosions and the shouts of older children. From Little Bear Valley from a gentler wave of beeps and bells and happy giggles of preschoolers. The hostess looked at Tom in his shortalls with a pacifier dangling from his shirt. “I'm guessing you want Little Bear Valley?” Tom looked up at his mom. He wondered what her response would be, but he was pretty sure he knew the answer. She thought for a moment. “What do think hon?” Tom was surprised. He wasn't sure what to say. Little Bear Valley looked more inviting but he couldn't quite admit it. “I want to try Big Canyon,” he said with some hesitation. The hostess looked to his mother for confirmation. “I think we'll try being big tonight,” she said with a hint of skepticism. “OK, just follow me” she gathered menus and headed for Tom's chosen section. As they came through the entrance Tom saw why they called it a Canyon. From the top of a spiraling staircase, he had a full view of a vast cavernous arcade from which a chaotic din roared. Down below elementary school-aged children ran rambunctiously through a maze of complicated-looking arcade games. Their parents were seated in another section leaving their kids to play independently and free of supervision. It was a view into a world Tom had almost forgotten about. Suddenly a pang of worry gripped him. He hesitated at the top of the stairs. His mothered paused “Something wrong?” she asked. He looked at the ground “I think... maybe Little Bear Valley would be better” he admitted. His mother smiled “This does look pretty crowded, let's try the other room.” Tom was surprised to feel more relieved that he had the option than embarrassed that he took it. He followed the two adults as they reversed course and headed for the other room. There they found a wide-open space, filled with colorful games and other activities. Small children happily ran about playing among themselves, some nestled for a rest in their parents' laps. From a stage featuring The Barnaby, Bear Band came happy music. The tables were long with bench-like seating allowing families to mix as their children found new playmates. The hostess led them to a table. As they sat down she knelt next to Tom and strapped a watch-like device to his wrist. “This will let you play all the games and there might be a surprise later.” He thanked her and after his mother had ordered a large pepperoni pizza she left with a pat on his head. Tom almost immediately started to head over to the games. “Wait,” she called after him “Just come here for a sec sweety.” He walked over to her she quickly checked his diaper. “You're fine for now. Go have fun.” She gave him a swat on the bottom as he hurried off to play. He spotted an odd-looking machine at the edge of the play area. It had no monitor, no controls, nothing that would give it away as an arcade game aside from the label “Rescue Rick” emblazoned on the side. He walked over to it curiously and examined it for a moment. He stepped carefully onto a small platform in front of the strange thing. Almost without thinking, he waved his wrist over the round pad that protruded from the front. The machine beeped but nothing else happened. He'd decided it was broken when a helmet suddenly lowered onto his head. A goggle-like device fit itself across his face. He blinked and took a moment to focus. He was in a brightly colored cartoon world, as he moved his head around the scenery followed. As he took it all in he became aware of a voice encouraging him to reach out his hands. As he did he saw two animated hands stretching in front of him. He moved his hands around and wiggled his fingers. Somehow his cartoon world hands moved in sync. A fire hydrant materialized in front of him and instinctively he took a step towards it. He could feel the platform gliding beneath him like a treadmill and he moved forward in the virtual world. This was the most amazing video game he'd ever seen. The goal, he quickly learned, was to attach a hose to the hydrant and then put out a fire in as little time as possible. It was very clearly geared toward a preschool sensibility. With a cheerful dalmatian tagging along to offer advice and encouragement. But everything about it simply appealed to him. After a few rounds of increasing difficulty, he finally failed to beat the timer. A voice from the speaker gently broke the news and praised his efforts before the helmet was lifted from his head, bringing him back to the real world. For the next short while, he sprinted from machine to machine. Tom knew his friends back home would have dismissed them all for being too cutesy, too babyish. But he was having far too much fun to care. He was so caught up in play that he was slightly startled to feel a hand on his shoulder. “Having fun sweetheart?” his mother asked. He nodded enthusiastically as she knelt beside him. “It sure looked like it.” She checked his diaper and nodded. “I thought you were looking a little droopy. You're just about to leak. Let's take care of that,” she said taking his hand. Reluctantly Tom allowed her to lead him from his fun towards the changing room located conveniently just off the main area. Inside were several changing tables, some already occupied by toddlers being changed. She lifted him onto a table and paused for a moment. Smiling she took his pacifier and popped it in his mouth. “You've been playing really hard, just relax a moment baby,” she said. As she started gathering all the necessary supplies from the diaper bag the door opened again and a tall smartly-dressed woman entered trailed by a boy excitedly relating a story about one of the video games he'd been playing. They walked over to the one available table next to Tom and his mother. As he was lifted into place he pointed a pudgy finger at Tom and exclaimed “That boy is in my class!” Tom blushed slightly. He was getting used to being changed in front of other people, but to be pointed out was new. He meekly returned the boy's enthusiastic wave. The woman looked at Tom nursing his pacifier and smiled. “Cute” she commented “I wish I could get mine to take a paci sometimes” she joked as the boy continued to chatter on. “Thank you,” Karen said as she pulled Tom's pants to his ankles “He's cute too. I'm sure he'll grow up to be a great conversationalist.” “Oh no, don't even say 'grow up,” the woman chided kiddingly “I'm not ready to lose my baby yet. I just love having a little one to look after. One minute you're teaching them linear equations and the next they're out of the house.” Karen nodded. “I feel very lucky.,” She said and smiled playfully at Tom. She shook some powder out onto her son's bottom before setting it down on a fresh diaper. “I'm Karen Welton by the way. And this is Tommy,” she said as she taped the diaper onto the now blushing boy. “Nicole Wilson and this is Josh. Nice to meet you.” They continued to chat as they exited the changing room. Tom felt Josh tugging on his arm “Let's go play in the ball pit” the younger boy suggested excitedly. He looked up at his mother skeptically. “You two go ahead and play,” she said letting go of his hand “I'll come get you when the pizza's ready.” Tom wondered how a ball pit could be more fun than the games he'd already played. And while it was one thing to play alongside children like Josh when he had no other choice, this seemed different. Josh sprinted towards a glass booth and tugged open the door. “Come on” he shouted. “Go on,” she encouraged again “I bet you'll have lots of fun.” Hesitantly, Tom followed him inside and took a seat amid the plastic balls, feeling rather unimpressed. Josh closed the door behind them and waved his plastic bracelet over the nearby reader. Suddenly he found himself sprawled out on the bottom of the pit as the balls beneath him lept into the air. Josh giggled at his plight. “You're supposed to stand up, silly.” He said. Tom got up on his feet and looked around him in amazement as the multicolored balls began to swirl around the room. Josh squealed with delight as he dashed around. For a few moments, Tom just watched as Josh ran about the enclosure sometimes grabbing one from the air only to throw it back into the whirling current. Other times he'd plow through a cloud of the plastic things sending them ping-ponging into others. Tom stuck out an arm and let a few bounce off his hand before grabbing one and tossing it into the air. He watched it rejoin its peers and felt a grin cross his face. In a moment he had joined in right alongside his companion taking pure joy in the toddler-oriented amusement. He'd completely lost track of time when he hear a gentle knock on the door. He turned to see both his and Josh's mothers standing there. Josh quickly swiped his bracelet again and the balls fell back to the ground. The younger boy opened the door and hopped out chattering happily about his experience. Tom followed bashfully, knowing he'd let himself get caught up in something juvenile. “You must have been having fun,” his mother said “You really didn't hear me calling?” “I'm sorry,” Tom said as they both headed back toward their table “I guess I just got caught up.” “That's OK. I'm glad you were having fun.” As they approached the table Tom noticed two pizzas and two sippy cups alongside. “Mrs. Wilson and I were talking and we thought we could all sit together,” His mother explained. It hardly mattered to Tom he was beginning to realize that he was starving. He sat down and the group began eating. The conversation drifted to and fro over various subjects until the topic of potty training came up. Tom tried to focus on the animatronic band that had just started playing but he couldn't help listening in on what the two mothers were saying. “I think it's going to be a while before we're even thinking about getting this guy in big boy pants.” She smiled at her son who sat enraptured by the show oblivious to the topic under discussion. “Even then it might not stick” Karen averred “We hit a little snag and had to go back to diapers. And I think it might be some time before he's out.” Tom blushed a crimson red “Moooom.” Nicole chuckled slightly “There's no reason to be embarrassed. No matter how big you think you are all I see is a little boy like Joshy. He's not embarrassed at all.” “It's just that...” Tom trailed off unsure of what his point was. “You're way too cute to be thinking you're a big boy. You should just be happy you have a good mommy to take care of you.” Tom just blushed brighter. “That's what I keep trying to tell him,” Karen spoke up “And sometimes I think you're starting to get it,” she added poking him in the ribs. Tom squirmed in his seat. To his relief, the music started to pick up causing the conversation to pause. Slowly he was finding himself more and more drawn into the show. The characters on stage were so lifelike, and the music was catchy. Before he knew what he was doing he was swaying along and even mouthing the words of the chorus. He glanced around the room and realized he was doing the same thing all the other children were doing. A sense of self-consciousness began to intrude on his fun until he noticed his mother smiling at him enjoying himself and continued doing as he was. After a few songs, the music faded away and the stage lights dimmed. A happy voice came over the speakers “OK boys and girls it's time to play Musical Catch,” Tom just gave a puzzled look around the room as all the other children began to eagerly raise their bracelets in the air. “Now everybody reach up really high, and whoever has the ball when the music stops wins a Barnaby Bear Teddy Bear.” Tom sat frozen, unsure whether he should participate. “Go ahead honey,” his mother encouraged. And he hesitantly raised his arm. A jaunty tune began to play and to his astonishment, a blue ball of light began to bounce around the room from bracelet to bracelet monetarily causing each to vibrate and flicker. The ball hit Tom's bracelet three times, each time flying off towards another child's. On the fourth time the music came to a sudden halt and his bracelet grew bright red. Tom just stared in disbelief for a moment. The waitress who had shown them to their seat stepped out into the middle of the floor in front of the stage holding a small teddy bear and beckoned him over. Not knowing what to do next he looked to his mother. “Go on honey,” she said “You won.” Warily he got up and slowly made his way across the floor. A wave of “awws” came over the room as he did. The waitress knelt as he approached. “And what's your name,” she said into a small microphone before tilting it towards him. Tom looked over the crowd and saw the sort of gentle smiles one reserves for small children. He realized that no matter his size or age, they saw something truer about him. He breathed in slightly. “Tommy,” he said surprised at how naturally it came. “Well congratulations Tommy, here's your Barnaby Bear Teddy Bear.” the waitress said as she handed him a big brown teddy dressed in a flannel shirt. Tommy took it and quickly walked back to his mother to another chorus of “awws.” She smiled at him as he sat down next to her. “That's a cute bear,” she said as put an arm around him. Tommy nodded and smiled back at her. He set the bear in his lap and nestled up against her as he watched the rest of the show.

Chapter 20 From the passenger window Tom watched the world pass by, busy with it's morning routines. Adults rushing to their cars, teenagers loping their way to high school, kids waiting for buses, lives distant from his own. Up in the sky he spotted something that at first glance looked a bit like a hot-air balloon. He looked closer mystified by the floating contraption. It was suspended from a balloon, like what he'd seen before, but below hung a brightly glinting mass of silver gears. It seemed able to propel it's self back and forth with ease. He watched in wonder as his mother pulled into the school parking lot. He unfastened his seat belt amd climbed out of the car as the craft disappeared behind the building. Without a second thought he stepped behind the car where he could get another view. “Tommy!” There was a squeal of breaks and a car came a hard stop just short of where he'd inattentively stepped into traffic. He stared at the car in shock for a moment before his mother pulled him aside, giving the driver a wave and an apology. He looked up at her and saw the nearest thing to anger he'd seen in a long time. He averted her gaze and pointed off to the strange thing making it's way toward the horizon “I'm sorry, I was just trying to watch that thing over there.” She took a deep breath, looked up at the odd object, and back at her son. Her expression softened into sympathy. “It's OK baby, I'm not mad. But...” she trailed off before kneeling down “You still have a lot to take in don't you?” Tom nodded, wanting nothing more than to win her approval again. She put a gentle hand to his chin and gave him a soft but serious look. “From now I want you hold my hand whenever we're around cars. OK?” Tom nodded eagerly. “And whenever else I ask” she raised a finger to make a point “And no arguing, just do it when I say.” “OK, Mom.” Tom said. “I was thinking that I should do some more more things to keep you safe anyway.” She stood and extended her hand. Tom took it without any further prompting. She led him by the hand all the way into the building and into his preschool class. She chatted for a few moments with Mrs. Peterson, still keeping his hand in hers. Tom looked around at the classroom he could have already been running off to, but knew he had to stay in place. Eventually she let go and put a hand to his shoulder. “Good boy, just hold my like that from now on.” She gave him a good-bye kiss “I'll see you later sweety.” Tom watched her walk out the door his mood buoyed a bit by her praise. He was a bit embarrassed that it meant so much to him, but he just couldn't help himself. He turned around and joined his classmates, sitting on the sprawling carpet and playing with toys. Before long he was collared for a diaper check, found wet, and taken to be changed. “Were you having a little trouble with the song yesterday?” Mrs. Hansley asked as she unsnapped his shortalls and pulled them down. “Sort of, it's just that the words are kind of weird.” She nodded as she untaped the sodden diaper “I thought so.” She tossed the diaper away and grabbed a fresh one from beneath the table. “I think I have something that will help. Just let me finish and I'll show you.” Tom waited while his bottom was cleaned, powdered, and lowered onto a fresh diaper. She snapped his shortalls back into place, set him down on the floor, and again reached under the table to retrieve something. Tom watched as she clipped a ribbon with pacifier at the end to his shirt. Tom looked at it skeptically. “How is that going to help?” She took it and held it up for him to see. He could see soft colored lights twinkling beneath the translucent outer layer. “This helps children like you say some of those big complicated words.” “How?” Tom asked. She tried to explain something about muscles in his mouth and tongue as simply as she could but it was well over his head. She held it up to his lips “Do you want to give it a try?” Tom thought for a moment and cautiously took it in his mouth. Almost by instinct he started sucking on it. Immediately it was relaxing, he was reminded of lying in his crib with a bottle. But there was something else, a small pleasant tingle that he guessed was a sign it was working. “I thought you might like it.” Mrs. Hansley smiled. “Now go join the other children. It's story time” She turned him around in their direction and gave him a gentle swat on the bottom to send him on his way. Tom found a spot among the other preschoolers and sat with his pacifier in his mouth as Mrs. Peterson began reading the day's story. He sucked contentedly, feeling peaceful and calm. Around him many of his classmates were doing the same, some even beginning to nod off as nap time approached. And in a few moments they were all herded over to the cribs and tucked in. Tom lay in his crib with is eyes closed and continued to enjoy his new paci as the lights were dimmed and his teachers turned on soothing lullaby music. He awoke from his nap feeling especially refreshed. He was changed into a dry diaper and sent to play for a while before the class was again assembled to practice their song. He thought of how much his mother was looking forward to this and tried as best he could. It was still difficult but he could feel the words somehow slipping just a little easier from his mouth. Late in the afternoon he was playing with a toy train when he heard his mother's voice behind him. “How you doing there.” She said “Mom! You're early” he said with surprise and impulsively gave her a hug. She laughed and hugged him back “I thought we might get started on the weekend a little early. So what's this?” She said looking at the pacifier hanging from his shirt. “That's just to help me learn the words to the song” he said blushing “I only use once in a while.” She smiled “I bet.” As they exited the building Tom took a few long strides toward the car before he heard his mother clear her throat. He stopped and put out his hand. “Just try to remember, OK sweety?” she said before leading him on to the car. “Now there's one small change I've decided to make.” She opened the rear door to reveal a car-seat positioned on the back seat. “I really should have done this earlier, you'll be much safer back here.” He cast a glance around the parking lot, wondering who could be watching. This was still the sort of public babying he still felt some resistance to. “But I like seeing things from the front” he said taking a half step back. “The view will be even better from higher up.” She said nudging toward to the car. Tom took a breath and stepped forward and tried climbing in but found it awkward. “Need some help?” His mother asked. “Maybe a little” Tom replied as he tried to negotiate the climb. He was surprised to feel his mother's hands grab him from behind, lift him off the ground, and adroitly deposit him in the seat. He looked at her in shock. This was the first time she'd helped him up without any participation on his part. He wondered if she'd been holding back, letting him feel more independent than he was. “There's a really good gym at work.” She said, noting his astonishment. She quickly brought secured straps over his shoulders, across his waist, and between his legs; fastening them together in a small hockey-puck like contraption. One look at the strange mechanism and Tom knew he had no hope of either doing it or undoing it himself. “Comfy?” She asked Tom nodded. “Better than that seat up front huh?” Tom wasn't prepared to admit it yet, but it was. In fact it seemed shaped just for him. “It's OK” he offered. She smiled. “Good to hear. I should have done this a long time ago.” She paused and smoothed his hair “I thought we could go to the toy store and then get some dinner. Would you like that?” “Yeah.” Tom said, perking up enough at the mention of the toy store to put aside the slight embarrassment over being stuck in a car seat. “OK then, let's go.” She shut the door and walked around the driver side of the car. As the the car pulled into traffic he acquainted himself with this new feeling. His feet dangled in the air, the harness held him snugly in his new softly padded seat. He felt safe. And his mother was right, his elevated perch gave him a better view of his surroundings. He was quickly absorbed in watching the world go by from this new vantage point. The car came to a stop in toy store parking lot. Tom couldn't help it, he loved the toys he found in this town, and he was excited to find a new one. His mother came around to the side of the car. “Need some help? She asked already reaching for the latch. “Yes, please” Tom responded a little more eagerly than he wanted to. She chuckled slightly and easily undid the restraints before lifting him from the car and setting him on the ground. Tom turned in the direction of the store but just before he could bound off toward the store he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What did I say to do?” He stopped and took her hand. “Sorry mom.” “That's OK honey. But it's really important so you don't get hurt.” She escorted him to the stores entrance and turned him loose on the aisles of brightly colored amusements. As he roamed through the store taking in all the exciting possibilities, he same across an intriguing display. A set of odd looking building blocks had been constructed into a sky scraper with working lights. As he looked closer he saw it could be opened to reveal rooms, and even a working elevator. He snatched up a box and hurriedly trotted over to where his mom was chatting with the college-aged woman at the counter. “Mom, I think I found something.” She took the box and inspected it for a moment. “I don't know, this is kind of expensive. “ she said in a half-kidding tone “Are you sure you're going to remember to hold my hand?” He squirmed as he saw the clerk hold back a chuckle. “Mooooom” he groaned. “Are you?” “Yes, I promise” he relented. The new toy was scanned and payed for. She handed it back to him Tom grinned as he took the box. “Have fun” the clerk said as she gave gave him a wave. As they stepped out of the store Tom reached for his Mother's hand. “Good boy” she said giving his hand a gentle squeeze “I knew you'd remember.” Tom was already happy to get his toy, but even the mild praise made him feel a little flutter. He was led back to the car, set in his car seat, and fastened in. “Would you like to go get some pizza? There's a place I heard of you might like.” “Yeah pizza sounds good.” Tom's eyes widened as they arrived at their destination. A towering wall of swirling blinking lights advertised “Barnaby Bear's Pizza Palace.” A giant animatronic bear smiled and waved into the distance above the words “Pizza, Games, Fun.” He continued staring as he was lifted out of his car seat and sat down on his feet. The lights shimmered for a moment and slowly transformed themselves into an animated scene of Barnaby Bear playing in a band alongside another character. Tom blinked as he watched it somehow transform into 3D. “Neat huh,” his mother said as she took his hand. “I bet this place is really cool inside,” Tom enthused as he tugged with a bit of excitement on her hand. She chuckled at his evident enthusiasm. “Well lets go get a table.” And together they walked toward to the entrance.

Glad I was able to help. :3

Hiii! Welcome! 🧜‍♂️

Add in beers 🍻 😎. That could be fun to watch the diaper testers play hoops while getting a buzz and wetting their diapers. That's how I like to put my diapers to the test on my days off, by drinking some beers 🍻

Some straitjacket pics from Lockdown would be awesome. Also spanking with a pulled-down/open diaper, but not sure if that's too juicy. AI images in your next story sound great.

Chapter XLIII: Lunchtime Taking Janey and Danny by the hands, Daddy led his two pamper-clad charges toward the kitchen. As they came to the door for the hall bathroom, he stopped, glancing first at Janey and then at Danny. “Daddy needs to use the potty, kids,” he announced breezily, letting go of their hands and stepping into the room. He made no move to close the door, however, and to Danny’s surprise, Janey followed him in, as though this was the most normal thing in the world. Reaching the toilet, Daddy turned, loosened his belt, and sat down. Glancing up, Daddy saw Danny lingering sheepishly by the door, unsure of himself, and smiled. “It’s okay, little man,” he said, smiling reassuringly. “Do what you feel. Unlike you kids, Daddy doesn’t wear diapies, so he has to do his business in the potty like a grown-up. Janey likes to see how big folks do it, or… well, something like that… A wise parent would let her see, encourage her to go like a big girl... He shot Janey a naughty grin before returning his gaze to Danny. “Well… maybe not in our particular case…,” he added with a chuckle, “But it is a semi-plausible excuse. Anyway, you are welcome to see, too, if you’d like, but if you’d rather wait there, Daddy’ll only be a minute…” While Daddy was talking, the sound of urine tinkling into the water of the toilet bowl rose and fell, and a moment later the unmistakable smell of poop hit Danny’s nostrils. The curious intimacy of the moment rattled around in his brain; the whole thing seemed so peculiar, and yet… he was… well, curious? He had the oddest urge to see what he was smelling, like Janey quite obviously was doing, and…well, they had certainly seen his… and he had just been invited… With a certain nervousness evident in his halting steps, Danny made his way into the room and came up beside Janey, nervously sucking on his binky and peering down between Daddy’s legs. He had never really seen Daddy’s penis in its sleeping form, and he had certainly never seen his poop, just visible floating in the waters beneath him. The smell in the room was strong, but not horrible; it had an almost pleasing earthiness. He got a much better view a moment later when, apparently done, Daddy stood up, fully revealing two sizeable fairly solid turds and a couple of smaller pieces. Daddy reached for the toilet paper, only to find Janey with a good sized ball of it already in her hand. “Janey wan’ help, Daddy!” she announced jubilantly, reaching for his behind with the hand holding the paper. “Well… okay, sweetheart…” he said in a tone suggesting it was against his better judgement, and turned his butt toward her, “…but be careful, darling. Don’t get any of Daddy’s poopy on your hands.” Without further preamble, Janey began diligently wiping her Daddy’s behind, pausing for a moment to show Danny the soiled paper and giggle, wrinkling her nose in playful mock-disgust before dropping it into the bowl. She then pulled more paper off the roll, too much really like before, and wiped him some more, her hand motions through all of this jerky and purposeful, like those of a toddler. Danny had never imagined doing anything quite like this, one of many unanticipated experiences he had shared with the two of them. But like the others, he found that it was both strangely intimate and oddly stimulating. Experiencing Daddy’s poop this way made him feel closer to him in an odd way, and also it felt somehow naughty, akin to the feeling of sharing his own poopy diaper with the two of them had. A smile began to creep across his face, showing in the corners of his mouth beyond the edges of his pacifier. Seeing this, Daddy reached out to tousle his hair fondly. “All done!” announced Janey importantly, tossing the last ball of brown-stained paper into the bowl. “Thank you, sweetheart,” said Daddy fondly, reaching out to caress her face before turning to flush the commode. “Now, you know that, even though Daddy’s sure Janey was careful, we still have to wash her hands. Poop germs are yucky…” Janey pouted unconvincingly while Daddy pulled up his pants. Danny watched with a certain fascination; he had never had a man casually naked around him, let alone watched him poop, and he could not help but admire the parts of Daddy’s lean, well toned body that passed before his eyes. He also took note for the first time that Daddy was not wearing any underwear, and, thinking back over the last 24 hours, he realized that this was probably normal for him. He was surprised at how disappointed he was when Daddy’s flaccid cock vanished behind the denim covering, and slightly more surprised at how comforting the thought was that followed; that judging by the last day’s events, he was almost certainly going to see it again and soon. These were new thoughts and new feelings for him; he had occasionally indulged in fantasies involving other men, but he had felt weird about it, as though his sense of his own identity did not allow such a thing. This was the first time he had ever had a specific man to focus such fantasies on, one who was almost certainly willing and even eager to relate to him on that forbidden level. One who made him feel, though still nervous about crossing such a rubicon, strangely comfortable with the idea. It seemed to fit the roles they were playing, also; If he was a baby or toddler, he would have to do what Daddy says, wouldn’t he? And daddies take care of their little boys as well as their little girls, don’t they? And yet, he was being so carefully sensitive to Danny’s feelings, easing him in one small step at a time, obviously willing to back off of anything that caused him discomfort. What a guy… And then there was the ever-beautiful Janey, with all of her undeniable charms as woman and baby girl, and the obvious joy this man took in sharing her charms with him. She was not only among the prettiest women he had known, but almost certain the most freely sexual. And of course she was a fellow adult baby who was more practiced and polished in the role than he was; had ever even considered being. ‘Mindfuck’ was not the word. He watched Janey in her toddler princess finery, giggling as she intentionally rubbed her diapered heinie against Daddy suggestively while he stood behind her at the sink, washing her hands for her like a toddler. In his keyed up and un-sated state, the easy sexuality between them, with all of the other elements added to it, was more than a little torturous. What jealousy he had served to amplify his frustrated arousal, and he was realizing ever more keenly that it was not merely jealousy of Daddy for receiving Janey’s attention and acceptance, but also jealousy of Janey for receiving Daddy’s. And it seemed he was invited to partake, of both if he chose… His generously proportioned “dingy” (he found he was liking their use of that that term) was once again struggling against its padded prison by the time Janey’s hands were toweled dry. It took him a second to realize Daddy was reaching for his own hand, and feeling its warm gentle strength enfold his, he felt a curious mixture of emotions. It made him feel small, very much the little kid in his loving Daddy’s care… and also very much a grown man who hungered for more of that touch in a way he had never imagined…and, strange as it seemed, these two feelings, these two sides to himself seemed to come together seamlessly, the most natural thing in the world… These thoughts and feelings swirling around his head, he dazedly allowed himself to be led out into the hallway. Janey, clinging to Daddy’s other hand, skipped along just ahead, humming a little tune through her pacifier as she happily bubbled along. God, she was cute, in her old-fashioned baby dress, totally immersed in her little girl role! As the three of them made their way into the kitchen, Danny wondered if he could, or would, ever get that deeply into his own baby role. Janey certainly did make it look like fun, and… maybe they would like it if he tried? Maybe he would? In his head as he was, he only belatedly realized they had reached the kitchen, the befuddlement once again making him feel like a little kid. It was okay to be befuddled, he had Daddy to guide him, which he did, smoothly and cheerfully, his ever-present kindness leading the way. This time, he seated Janey in the high chair, locking the tray table across her lap before offering Danny a big boy chair. Danny sat silent for several minutes, sucking on his binky staring at Janey in her deep green baby finery while Daddy stood at the counter with his back to them, preparing their lunch. From where he was sitting, Danny could just see beneath the tray table, to where the crotch strap bisected the satin baby pants peeking out from under her skirt, and his unquenched desire arose anew. Really it had never diminished, just calmed itself momentarily as they made the journey through the house. She was so damn cute sitting there all elegantly babyfied, and so grown-up sexy at the same time, he could not help but want to eat her alive, that and… what? Conquer her? Possess her? Something like that. Penetrate and defile… These were definitely big boy thoughts… He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his swelling member feeling the constraints of its as yet dry padded prison. To see her there, locked both into her high chair and away from him…This was the most exquisite kind of torture, she was right there, and no doubt willing, but… was it possible that he was, in some way, enjoying being denied? When release finally did come… He shifted again, his cock now raging at full force… Janey, following his gaze, giggled, reasonably sure she knew something of what was going on in his addled brain, and in his diaper. She was saddened just a little that, despite the intensity of his gaze upon her nether regions, he could not see the stream of hot pee that was at that very moment flowing freely within the layers of cloth and plastic and pooling in the padding beneath her crotch. Too bad,for she knew he would appreciate it as few others could. Such a glorious sensation, it was a pity it could not be shared, but it felt so lovely all around her intimate areas… Glancing at Daddy and seeing he was still distracted making their sandwiches, and seeing that Danny’s attention was still firmly focused on her crotch, she squeezed her arm down between her belly and the tray table and, just as she had a few minutes before while pleasuring Daddy, slipped her hand into the leg opening, first of her silky pants and then her warm soggy diaper. She heard a rather satisfying sharp intake of breath from Danny when he realized what she was doing, followed quickly by a similar soft binky-muffled gasp from herself as her fingers found their target. She didn’t really feel a need for release exactly, though her previous self-service had been notably short of the proper fucking she might have preferred. But as a tease for Danny… knowing what he had just witnessed and then having been left hanging… it was, in a word, delicious… Danny was quite literally drooling, saliva dripping from his pacifier’s shield, as Janey’s excitement began to build once more. She writhed in her seat as the waves of pleasure coursed through her, shifting to press herself against the high chair’s crotch strap to apply additional pressure on the hot soggy padding between her legs. Danny’s lustful rapt attention drove her on, and her passion crested, resulting in a whimpering moan her binky could not muffle. Hearing this, Daddy turned around to investigate, the scene before him telling its own tale. Valiantly, he tried to hide his naughty smile behind an unconvincing scowl of disapproval, feeling the texture of his jeans in a new way as his manhood came to life. “Janey!” he said in a tone of mock rebuke. “What have I told you about putting your hands in your diaper?!” He stepped over to her, grabbing her arm and pulling the offending hand out of her pants and onto the tray table. Maintaining his stern demeanor as best he could, he avoided the strong temptation to kiss her fingers clean. Janey pouted at the reprimand, just like any toddler whose parent had ruined her fun. “Really, sweetheart!” he continued in his unconvincing mad voice, “Why do you want to be a meany to Danny like that? He’s been so good…” Janey’s pout deepened, her eyes dropping from his in mock shame, though the smile in them was plain to see. Danny marveled at how completely they both played their parts in this little drama, both of them clearly enjoying both their roles and the situation they were pretending to be upset about. Could he do that? It certainly did look like fun… “I sowwy, Daddy…” said Janey, eyes still lowered, pretend contrition in her voice. “And for teasing Danny?” he asked, his tone still playfully stern. Janey’s eyes flashed to Danny’s for a moment, her amusement plainly visible, before lowering them again. “I sowwy Danny…” she said, inserting a whine to avoid laughing. “Well…,” said Daddy, relenting just a little. “ I guess we can forgive you this time... can’t we Danny? If you promise to be a good girl. Daddy has your lunch ready. And after that, I think it will be time for someone I know to take a nap…”

Kairu blushed as she was picked up and her bottom before seeing a man she didn’t know and eeped alittle as she tried to hide her face not used to her new condition

"we're going to go get pictures made. Our baby is growing so fast we thought we should get family pictures made" Chloe said. Mia kept feeding Kayla until the bowl was empty then set the spoon down. She wiped Kayla's face with a damp rag then picked up the bottle. She slipped the nipple in Kayla's mouth. "When you finish your bottle mommy Chloe is going to give you a bath and then get you dressed. Wait until you see the pretty dress we picked out for you." Mia cooed, wiggling the bottle.

so far no leaks… And they fit good

I was an every-night bedwetter until my mid teens, then "Dried out", and stayed dry at night thru my 20's. My bedwetting started up again, randomly, in my 30's, and increased over the years, to the point that I'm now an every-night bedwetter again, for several years now. Unlike my teen years, I enjoy being a bedwetter now. It just feels right to wake up in warm wet diapers every morning. At this point, I assume I will be a bedwetter for the rest of my life, and I'm fine with that. Over the last few years, my daytime control has changed too. My bladder capacity has shrunk, and if I'm much over 200 ml, (Around 7 oz.) I'll wet myself. If my slowly developing urge incontinence keeps going, I imagine at some point I'll be daytime diaper dependent. As I often wear diapers 24/7 already, I don't think I'll mind that either.

Last weekend I messed my diaper for the first time in ages. I saw the Rearz Critter Caboose diapers and had to get some. When they arrived I knew I had to get my money's worth out of them so I popped in a glycerin suppository and 2 large frozen bananas, taped myself up, and fought the urge to let go for about 45 minutes before I couldn't hold it any more. I'd been laying on my bed on my belly, and when i pushed myself up on all fours it just came out, no stopping it. A huge amount of mushy poop came out along with the bananas. I'd been drinking lots of water in preparation, and continued to do so after padding up, but it still took a good six hours or so to get that sucker wet enough that I could no longer stand it. I must say, I did a lot of work around the house and that diaper held up amazingly. Even with sitting, squatting, bending over, etc all the mess stayed in the diaper...not one bit escaped the leak guards. Unsurprisingly I still detest the cleanup so I won't be repeating this any time soon but it felt good to have a "little" day.

USMC 2003-present