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Scene #202 “Daffy,” someone sang to me. “Daaaaaaffffy. I think you’ve slept in long enough.” O friggin fine. I rolled over and greeted her with, “Urrrrrrrrrrrrf!” “How are you still sleepy? You’ve been asleep for ten hours.” “No circadian rhythm shaming.” I’m not a morning person, and I’m not an evening person. I thrive between eleven in the morning and one in the afternoon. I’m a mid-day person, one of The Lunch People. Rare is the day Mary lets me sleep past eight, something about not sleeping our lives away and liking it when we’re both awake and corporate productivity and stuff and things. She let me sleep in cuz we have a party to go to, and while I think I’m the life of the party, she claims (she just makes stuff up, really) lives of the party don’t fall asleep on the host’s bed no matter how well they know the host. I mean, it was one time! She never lets me live stuff down. She does, however, have a point about how me sleeping in doesn’t actually make me more energized. Hence my waking groan. “Are you feeling okay?” Mary bent down to put her lips on my forehead. I don’t know how effective that is as a way to check for a fever, but it ends in a kiss and I like it and stuff. “Yeah. Do I really have to get up?” “Yeah.” “Does Suzie really hafta get it? Surely you wouldn’t make the dog get up.” And if the dog was to stay peacefully asleep, surely I needed to stay right by her side snuggled up together. Dogs are warm. I mean, Mary is a better and more considerate sleeping companion, but Suzie is in her adolescent stage and has turned into the floofiest stuffy. “Suzie can do what she likes,” Mary said and with a whoosh pulled the covers down. Suzie gave Mary a look that, had I given it, I would’ve gotten my tail paddled for (which is a thing that’s happened before and how can a look be quote ‘massively disrespectful, majorly bratty, and unacceptable’ unquote; I ask and I answer, it can’t because reasons; really). She got up, shook herself all over, and went to find another place to sleep. “If you stay in bed,” Mary said, “how are you gonna get that soggy diaper changed? Unless you like soggy diapers. Is that it?” I am so giving her the look but hiding it behind my poker face right now. “About that, Mary? How many times do I hafta say I don’t like diapers, I don’t need diapers, and I only wear them for you?” “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the scent of overnight weewee.” “Frumpeter nursherder!” “But seriously, you stink.” “What the heck kind of good morning is this? Is it Be Mean To Daffy Day again, cuz I hate those days.” “It’s Give Daffy a Morning Bath Day because you smell like dog and pee.” “The only thing that (sniff-sniff) … Okay.” “Ha!” What do you think she meant by that? “Bet you can’t carry me,” I said cheekily. “Like a little girl?” “I was thinking more like a queen, but I’ll settle for bride carried over the threshold.” “Of the bathroom.” “Of the bathroom, yes.” That’s where we were going. She’s so silly sometimes. “Don’t think I can carry you, but how about being spank-marched?” “Ooo, good idea. Yes please.” I propelled myself to my feet with a helping hand from Mary. She’s so romantic and stuff: she twisted my arm behind my back and swatted my butt all twelve steps to the bathroom. Liking my butt is probably the first thing we knew we had in common, what with her yanking me over her knee at a play party before we even knew each other’s names. “I’m going to run the bath, just in case there’s anything you’d like to do in that diaper before you get in the tub.” “I don’t even know what you’re hinting at. And I don’t ‘want’ to do anything in this diaper.” I’d just rather do it in the diaper than in the tub, but that’s not even a free choice cuz Mary is big and strong and in charge of me. I mean, I guess I could pee in the tub, but ew. “Uh-huh,” was all Mary said. She put her hand under the running water cuz she’s love me too much to scald me and she … “Hey!” … groped me. And you know what she said? Well, I’ll tell you what she said. She said, “If what’s coming out of you is 98.6, I’d guess the bath water is 105, 110.” “(Embarrassed kitten noises).” She should really be careful with that kind of humiliation in the bathroom. If I faint and hit my head it’ll be her fault. What happened, the paramedics will ask. I made fun of her diaper, Mary will say. And even if I’m dead I’ll die of embarrassment all over again. It’ll be really upsetting for everyone. “Are you done making tinkles?” “(Whimpering wombat noises).” Is she trying to kill me!?! “Ya know how neither of us is into degradation,” Mary asked rhetorically as she untaped her diaper (unequivocally hers; I just happened to be holding it for her using only my hips). “What do you think it means that I think it’s hot that you smell like pee like a subby little bedwetter?” I’m a very smart, insightful woman. In a past life, I was the only Oracle of Delphi who didn’t need drugs to come up with answers in riddle form. I taught Steven Hawking everything he knew. Reinhard Nielbuhr never could follow my reasoning yet could only agree in stunned silence with my conclusions. I know stuff. And things. Things like how much we (me and Mary, that is; RIP ol’ Reiny) would regret knowing the answer to her question. That’s how insightful I am - I didn’t even need to know the answer to know we’d both regret it. See, it’s like going to restaurant with a cuisine you’ve never had before: if it looks funny and smells funny and has a name you can’t pronounce and you’re enjoying it, never, ever ask ‘what’s in it?’ Because once you know the answer, it doesn’t taste good anymore. I’m just saying, Mary and I had been, ahem, dining on each other for years. Let’s not yuck our own yums, ya know? “If I let you finger me in the bathtub, can we not answer that question?” SMACK! “Ow! For fuck’s …” “SMACK!!! “OW!” “Language, young lady. You’d better not plan on talking that way in front of the other guests tonight. In the tub.” “What have we said about spanking the front,” I harrumphed as I got in the tub with a tingling sting I didn’t hate. “That I decide when, why, how, and where you get spanked, whether that’s on your American fanny in public or your British fanny right before your bath.” So she does remember. Drat. “Well, I’m not British.” “Yeah, but when I call it your pu…” “Lalala sensitive … “Little ears. Exactly, you do that. And you’re lucky you’re not British. Do you know what they do to gingers over there?” “Even daywalkers like me?” “Even daywalkers.” I took my right heel and planted it on the edge of the tub. “Wash, slave girl.” Ooo, Mary’s if-it-wouldn’t-get-water-everywhere-I’d-yank-you-out-of-the-tub-and-paddle-you-purple face. “I swear, if it wouldn’t make a mess yanking you right out of that tub, the bath brush would be off the wall and your butt would be purple already.” We know each other so well! Soul mates! “Uh-huh,” I said and (get this) handed her the soap. And you know what she did? Well, I’ll tell you what she did. She took the soap and made it sudsy and started running it in long strokes up and down my leg. Sigh. “You,” she said in an attempt to salvage her defeat (cuz who won that exchange? Well, I’ll tell you who won that exchange: me. I won that exchange), “are like living with a teenager some times.” “Cuz I’m so full of life?” “Cuz it’s a pain getting you out of bed, and when I finally do, you’re the biggest smartass.” “The biggest? So I get a prize, right?” “O, you’ll get a prize alright, but I’m gonna save it for Brenna’s tonight.” “Is it a dinner party or a play party?” “Have you ever been to a dinner party at Brenna’s that didn’t turn into a play party? Gimme your other leg.” “It’s so sexy when you demand parts of my body.” “I own you body and soul, Daffodil. I have a contract to that effect.” “It was just a valentine.” “Binding contract the moment you signed it.” I was going to contest her understanding of our state’s contract laws, but the soap (and Mary’s arm up to her elbow) disappeared under the water and made me go, “Eep!” “Been a while since we went to a party,” Mary said. “Have you thought about what you’ll do differently this time?” Huh? “Was I … supposed to? And different from what?” “So you don’t remember standing in timeout in Brenna’s living room and me saying your red hot butt was to make sure you’ll make better choices next time?” I’m a very busy woman. It’s unfair to expect me to remember things like that. I mean, my days are just packed! I … make lunch, and do dishes. Take care of the dog. Go to the grocery store. I mean, um, there are only 168 hours in a week, and every last one of them is mine to do with as I please, but I still have lots of pressing … I was probably crying when I acknowledged Mary’s admonishment, and I’m always getting in trouble at those parties and doesn’t that just prove that Mary’s style of discipline is ineffective? In fact, I’ve long had my suspicions that it’s really an elaborate sex thing anyway, but Mary is so earnest when she says it’s not, and it’s not like people ever lie about sex, right? Mary never would cuz she’s all upstanding and prim and proper and stuff. Really. Even if she does use the p-word to describe a certain part of my anatomy. Really. “Do you even remember what you did to earn that spanking,” Mary asked me. O puh-leaze. Just cuz I woke up in a diaper doesn’t mean I was born yesterday. “Do you even remember what I did?” “… You’re mouthy today.” Ha! Bluff: called. “And you’re a subject changer.” “Just tell me what you’re going to try to do tonight.” “I’m gonna try to get along with Jane and Tommy.” Jane, for those of you new to perv-reading my diary, is my bestie/a bratty little who always manages to get me in trouble, and Tommy is a little/pain in the ass who has a special talent for getting on my last nerve and killing it with fire. I don’t know what I did to get in trouble at Brenna’s last party, but I can be positive one or both of them started it. “And not roll your eyes like you just did, and come tell me if the other littles aren’t being nice to you.” “…thinks she so subtle,” I mumbled. “And give Ann and Jo a chance. I know you don’t like adding people to our group, but they’e super nice and Brenna wanted to meet them.” “Explain to me again what’s wrong with me resenting them and wanting things to stay the way they are,” I said without pouting even a little bit. If you ever hear otherwise, punch them in the sternum and tell them Tommy told you to.

I think the point people are making is having kinks ot fetishes are fine but if people force that into other people's faces it becomes an issue. Kink shaming isn't the same as recommending respect for individual boundaries. Perhaps think of it this way, how would you feel if a fetish you were completely uncomfortable with was forcefully thrust in your face, probably not great. Respecting people's right not to be forcibly exposed to an unwanted fetish is just common courtesy, a far cry from kink shaming.

{Magically appears out of thin air}. Why hello! Bedwetting is one of those elusive things that either seems to come easily and early on, or it’s a struggle and takes forever. You’d think it would be correlated to your level of daytime control. And while thats true to a degree, it’s not always the case. Not only that, but even for bedwetters, some people like myself will soak through a Megamax with a booster overnight while others can get away with little more than an ATN. In other words… don’t stress if you’re doing all the right things and making great progress (regress?) during the day and are bone dry at night. It may be that’s just the way it is for you. Rest assured there are babies out there who are nowhere near being potty trained who wake up dry. The other thing I would add is that there seems to be a progression in the way bedwetting comes about. At first you wake up and pee and go right back to sleep. With time you start peeing as you’re waking up, and then right before you wake up and eventually after months you pee in a twilight phase where you’re half asleep. And eventually you sleep right through it. So if you’re an aspiring bedwetter (that’s probably the first time in history those two words have ever been used together!) and you wake up with the urge to pee, simply relax your bladder and roll over and go back to sleep, knowing you’re already on your way.

Chapter 5: Emerald Castle ‘UMM...’ I THOUGHT in my head. ‘Who are you?’ ‘I told you last night, Caireen.’ ‘And… you’re inside my head?’ ‘Your body. You bonded with me last night.’ ‘Oh...’ I thought. ‘So, I guess I’m an avatar?’ ‘I believe that’s what your people call it,’ she agreed, and somehow, I could sense she was nodding. ‘So you can act without me wanting you to?’ I asked. ‘Most of the time, no, but right now, I couldn’t help myself. In fact,’ I felt Caireen do something, and suddenly my walls, bed, desk, dresser, and clothes all seemed to transform. The walls became a light purple with some beautiful scrolling leaves and flowers in some sort of mirror paint. My bed became a crib, the dresser a changing table, and the room straightened everything to a neat order. It was a prettier nursery than Mom had done for Lily - which had taken us months to do! “Sofia Elizabeth,” Mom said to me while looking stunned. ‘How am I going to prove I didn’t do this!?!’ ‘Let me talk to her...’ There was something akin to a light switch thrown, and I felt like I was now watching my body. “Sofia did not do this, Mrs. Hammerstein,” came from my body with a much more mature voice somehow coming from my vocal cords. “What did you do to my daughter?” Mom asked, panicked, “Is she okay?” “She’s perfectly fine. You may call me Caireen. Your daughter and I bonded last night… I saw she would die without my help, but she has so much potential I decided I had to help her… In the process, she and I ended up bonding.” I felt my eyes move around, “She’s going to take back over now; I just don’t want her to get in trouble. She really needed a pretty nursery, though.” I felt myself take back over again and, at the same time, could still feel her presence. ‘You’re still here?’ I asked. ‘Until you die, sweet pea,’ she said with a voice that seemed to smile. ‘I’ll talk to you later; your mommy is worried sick.’ “Sofia, are you okay?” I nodded, “I am; it’s exactly like she said happened.” “You’re not trying to get out of trouble?” “I wish I could be this imaginative to get out of trouble,” I sighed. Mom had a scared and shaken look that she managed to shake her head and ask in a mostly normal voice, “Well… still want your bottle?” I nodded. Mom carried me to the rocking chair, positioned me in her arm’s crook, handed me the warm bottle, and then began to read the story. “Once upon a time...” I stayed awake for half of the story. I had to rely upon my memory of telling Lily to remember how it ended! ALMOST AS SOON as I fell asleep, I was standing in a green meadow with flowers and gigantic, beautiful butterflies everywhere. It was a spectacular view when I turned around and saw a stone castle that looked even prettier than anything in a Disney fairytale movie! “Like it?” I heard her ask. “It’s beautiful!” I told her as I looked up to view a beautiful red-headed lady with emerald green eyes like mine. Her eyes had a twinkle to them that said she was friendly but with just a hint of mischievousness concealed beneath. She seemed like a giant compared to my size, but I guessed she was probably under six feet tall. I recognized the voice as Caireen’s and knew this must be her. “Where are we?” “Ireland,” she said with a smile, and I finally caught the accent I had somehow overlooked in all of the weirdness from the previous night. “Are we really here?” She shook her head, “This is real, but it’s in your dreams. There are some Native American tribes here in America that have similar ideas, but this is where I’ve always come to relax and meet with others in the past.” She paused. “So… umm… Who or what exactly are you?” I asked. She reached down and picked me up. I noticed I was wearing a beautiful green dress from sometime before the 1900s. Actually, it wasn’t too far removed from what Merida’s dress in Brave looked like. As she picked me up, I could still tell there was thicker underwear on me. I sighed at that. She took her finger and brought my face to look up at hers, “Don’t be sad. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get to that stage of maturity or not again myself, but even if you don’t, at least it looks normal for you to be wearing diapers.” Caireen carried me towards the castle, and I once again asked, “Who are you?” “Well, that’s complicated,” she stalled, “but I was known in ancient Ireland as the Goddess and Protector of Children.” I sat there and mentally thought, ‘oh shit!’ “It’s okay, Sofia; I will not harm you.” “Joining with you caused me to become a baby?” I asked timidly. “No, you were on your way to that on your own. But, I sensed you calling for someone to help and couldn’t help but fall in love with the baby girl I saw you would become.” She smiled at me as we crossed through the gates of the castle. “So…?” “So I saw you needed my help to survive both your change and your future. I also saw that in doing so, you would help me save many children from suffering in the future. You are the kind of person I have encountered only a few times in my existence.” “How long have you existed?” I asked her timidly. She smiled, “You should know better than to ask a girl how old she is!” Her voice said she was amused and not angry… even though she didn’t answer the question. As we passed through the castle, it felt weird that there were no people there, even though it appeared as if an army of servants were at work at all times maintaining it. She eventually reached a massive hall door and walked through with me. Next, she climbed a spiraling staircase that was terrifying to me in my current size. They seemed to go on forever. Eventually, she opened a wooden doorway that opened to a nursery. A round crib and other decorations for a baby in the past decorated the room. She then sat me down on a table that had to be a changing table. “Hold your skirts here, sweetie,” she told me, and I had my view blocked by the very puffy skirts and underskirts. She unpinned the diapers and pinned a new one on me before setting me on the ground and joining me on a bearskin rug. “So, what are we doing here?” “Well, in the future, you and I will be doing some training here.” “What kind of training?” I asked. “Magic, of course, silly,” she told me while touching my nose affectionately. “There will be teachers for you in your world, especially if you can go to that school, Bechtel, but our magic operates differently from most of your kind. The only kind that is very similar is the Sidhe.” “The Sidhe?” I asked. We sat talking for what seemed a long time as she told me about the crazy world that existed out there. Eventually, she saw me sucking on my thumb and said, “Oh my dear, we’ve been going a long time. It’s time for you to take your nap!” For the first time in my life, I didn’t remember arguing about a nap. She picked me up and laid me down in the pretty crib. “Sleep well, princess.” I WOKE UP with sunlight coming into the room. I could tell it was extraordinarily bright due to the snow outside, which had mostly been a forgotten thing to me. I sat up and freaked out for a moment. ‘Why are there bars around me?’ I thought and then realized, ‘oh...’ I stood up and wondered what I should do when the door opened and Mom came in. “Oh, so the sleepyhead decided to wake up finally?” She asked me. “Huh?” “It’s nearly eleven,” she told me. “Really?” “Your sister wanted to wake you up to play, but I told her you needed to recover.” “I probably did,” I admitted. Then, I put my hands up in the air, “Can you get me out of this cage, please?” She laughed. I noticed that the crib seemed taller than Lily’s old one by a couple inches. I could just graze the top of the rails with my fingertips, but I would have to jump to grab on. She reached down, picked me up, and immediately took me over to the changing table that had appeared last night. “You know I’m probably the only girl in existence that sleeps in a crib, but her baby sister doesn’t?” Mom laughed at me again. “Do you think Caireen would let you sleep in a regular bed?” ‘No,’ I heard. I sighed, “No, she won’t.” “Well then… I guess that’ll just be the first thing your baby sister does before you.” She admitted as she unzipped my sleeper. “Sit up,” she said, and I was stripped from the outfit down to my diaper. My very wet diaper. I sighed, “This is embarrassing.” As I woke up, it really was becoming increasingly annoying to me. “Here, maybe this will help,” she said and put a pacifier in my mouth. I would have loved to have claimed it wasn’t helping, but the truth was that it did. Mom quickly and efficiently changed me into a dry diaper and asked, “So, what do you want to wear today?” I shrugged and said around the pacifier, “What are my options?” It sort of sounded like that was enough for Mom to interpret. She picked me up and walked to the closet, where I learned Caireen had been very efficient. My entire wardrobe was filled with adorable dresses that I suspected would be sized perfectly for me. I noticed a green one that looked like the one in my dream last night, or whatever that was, and pointed at it. “Dat one!” She pulled the hanger down, and we discovered it had a matching diaper cover. “Probably should have some tights too,” mom said and went looking for some tights to match in a dresser drawer that had obviously also been a target for Caireen. She looked for a few moments before deciding on a set of black tights. They had some sort of leaves in a shiny gold stitch embroidered. Mom sat me back down on the changing table edge and began helping put my toes in the tights. Then, she had me lay back down before she pulled them the rest of the way up over my diaper and set me down on the ground. “Okay, let’s step into these panties,” she told me. “Mom, it’s a diaper cover, not even real panties,” I groaned. She smirked at me, “Well, at least between the tights and the cover, you might not have your diaper seen later?” I stuck my tongue out at her. “Okay, now arms like a ballerina!” She smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but giggle a little that she kept saying that to make me smile. Once she lowered the dress onto my body, I discovered it had a petticoat built in to puff it out. Mom tied a bow on the sash in the back, then went back to the dresser for some ribbons, and had me sit on her lap in the rocking chair. She looked at my hair, trying to decide what to do. Finally, her hands took off and made a simple set of braided pigtails with bows. “You just need a tiara,” Mom said with a smile as she looked at me. ‘I can’t see myself getting one of those...’ I thought to myself. ‘But of course, you will.’ I heard in my head. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I called you princess last night; that wasn’t the endearment term used here in your modern world.’ “What?” I asked, stunned, dropping my pacifier from my mouth. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” Mom asked in alarm. “Umm… just something Caireen said, Mom, don’t worry about it.” ‘So, I have a tiara in that world?’ ‘Actually, you should have it here too; let me just bring it out.’ There was another flash, and then in my hands, I held a beautiful me-sized tiara. It looked to be a material like silver, but somehow, I guessed it wasn’t really silver… A large emerald rested in the middle, with two slightly smaller emeralds on either side. Intricate curves and flowers with pearls decorated the rest of it. Mom gasped. “What is that?” I sighed, “Apparently, you may call Lily and I ‘princesses’ mom, but I really AM a princess. Still trying to figure out how that one works, though.” ‘I have a feeling this is priceless?’ ‘Yes, Sofia, it is very priceless. It has been in the royal family for forty-five of your human generations.’ ‘You can tell me the story tonight?’ I asked. ‘Certainly, now try it on?’ I handed it to my mom, “Would you please put it on me?” She held it for a moment and examined it. “This isn’t a toy, is it?” I shook my head, “Caireen’s words were that it’s priceless.” “Maybe we should just put it somewhere safe…?” ‘Tell your mother that as long as you have it on your head, it will never unwillingly come off. Also, it will reappear to you if it ever gets lost or stolen.’ ‘Cool!’ “Mom, Caireen says don’t worry about it… basically, you can’t remove it from my head if I don’t want you to, and if someone does steal it, I’ll get it back later.” “O...okay,” Mom said, and she did put it on me. She instantly gasped and hugged me. “You’re beautiful, sweetheart!” “Can you take me to the bathroom so I can see?” I asked. “Shoes first!” she said. She carried me to the closet on her hip and found some black Mary Janes that would go with the dress well. She set me down and helped me into them, picked me back up, and then I was standing in front of the mirror on the bathroom counter, looking at my reflection. “Oh my god...dess,” I decided I should add the last part at this point. ‘You do look perfect, princess,’ I heard Caireen say. I was the picture-perfect toddler and tiara girl, but I wasn’t fake with it. I looked like I legitimately belonged to a royal family and was being taken somewhere formal with the family. The tiara shone from my head, and I couldn’t help but smile at how pretty I was. I turned around and hugged Mom. “Thank you for doing my hair.” “Well, in the future, we’ll have to do something different with your tiara. It’s not a formal enough style. Let’s go down and show your sister?” She asked me. I kind of froze for a moment but nodded. “Lily’s going to be jealous, though,” I said. “Not to worry,” Mom said as she carried me through my sister’s room and picked up one of her play tiaras. “She won’t notice the difference, I hope!” She carried me downstairs to the first floor, where my sister was coloring in the living room with the TV on the toddler channel. Mom sat me down on my feet, and I walked over to Lily, “Hi, Lily,” I said, “whatcha coloring?” “Just a princess picture,” she said and then looked up at me. I watched my sister’s mouth open. “You playing princess today?!?!” She asked excitedly and clapped her hands together. “Sure,” I said. Mom placed her tiara on her head, and I couldn’t help but feel a little bad that hers wasn’t real. ‘No, don’t go doing anything, Caireen!’ I thought. ‘You’re no fun,’ she griped. “You two can play for a few minutes, but we need to get lunch in your tummies!” Then, as if to emphasize it, my stomach growled. Mom left me to Lily’s devices, and we practiced our curtseys until Mom called us. I walked into the kitchen and waited for her to put my sister in her high chair, and then she lifted me up. “I know you don’t want to wear a bib normally, Sofia… but that dress…?” Mom pleaded. I turned red but nodded, “I don’t want to get it messy either!” Mom smiled, returned with a bib covered in butterflies and flowers, and velcroed it around my neck. “What’s for lunch?” I asked her as she put one on my sister too. “Grilled cheese,” Mom said. She watched as I held the sandwich with my hands, which I hated doing, and began eating. I finished the first sandwich, and she looked at me incredulously before making me a second. “Where are you putting that?” She asked me. I grimaced, “Probably in my diaper later.” She laughed at me, sat me down on the ground, and pulled the bib off. Then, as she wiped my face with a wipe, she asked, “Do you need changed?” I lifted my skirt, felt my diaper, and nodded. “Okay, let’s change the two baby girls and then maybe take a nap?” “I’m not sleepy,” I told her honestly. She whispered in my ear, “Maybe a pretend nap for your sister’s sake, and you can get on your phone?” “Okay,” I said. Mom grabbed a hand from each of us and led us up the stairs. Lily was changed, given her bottle, and then Mom closed the door. We walked to my room, and I just hoped Caireen had not gotten rid of my cell phone during her act yesterday. ‘I didn’t; I know how you teenagers are addicted to them.’ I could practically hear her shaking her head. Mom quickly changed my diaper before she found my cell phone and sat me down in my crib. “Can you take my dress off, so I don’t wrinkle it?” I suggested. ‘Don’t worry, it won’t wrinkle,’ I heard. I shrugged, “Never mind, apparently that won’t happen.” Mom gave me a look. “At some point, you and I are going to have to have a talk Caireen.” ‘Tell her tonight we’ll talk,’ Caireen told me. “I think that will happen tonight, Mom.” “Okay,” she said. “Be quiet, and don’t get out of your crib until I come for you.” “Okay, I be good girl!” I told her with a smile. “You want a bottle too?” I hesitated for a second and nodded. Mom returned a moment later with a bottle filled with milk and then closed the door. I got on my phone and sucked at the bottle for a while and then noticed I was kind of sleepy. So I lay down and wondered why I was tired after sleeping as long as I had! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thank you for reading! Please press the ‘Like’ Button if you’ve enjoyed it! Comments are always super appreciated as well! If you're someone who must finish a good story 'now,' consider purchasing the full book on Amazon Kindle! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTBTTGX1 I will be posting a chapter about every other day until the complete 62 Chapters and the Epilogue are reposted. ? There are some little changes. I haven't changed the overarching plot in any major way, but I've edited the world to separate it from the original work and fleshed out some spots here and there. Thanks for your comments! I'm glad you like it!!! ?

So my last post was about how I had been wearing for a few months and was gonna have to stop because I was getting a new roommate, but I never came back to updated it. It turns out its not a problem for her, as long as we manage it bc she has an adjacent kink anyway. With that said, I've been wearing on and off for most of the year since she moved in. Mostly stopping due to activity levels, money, or shame. Cadence has been something like 2-3 months on 2-4 weeks off. Every time I stop my bladder control is worse off than before. At first it was just urges becoming more frequent or dissociating when walking around and nearly wetting unprotected. Then I started having small accidents in my pants, more than dribble wet spots, like straight up boom I started going bc I wasn't thinking about it. I went through a lot of laundry and decided to go back in them through the holidays. I wet the bed once and had to dry out my futon, which was the breaking point. I wore through December, but then for new year's a part of me decided we were gonna be uber athletic, active, and on top of our physical health, but they went too hard all at once and that bacfired, and ended up siezing our thighs and calves. But we were still in grown up pants during that time and our bladder control was wayyy worse, having to go every 15 or 30 minutes and needing to wear liners to keep us dry. Then forgetting its just a liner and flooding.... Anyway, we got a new job and our FSA just turned over, so we're gonna burn through our entire old FSA on diapers and when we have a cadence figured out put them on auto-ship. The new job is work from home and will pay enough for us to move to an apartment with separate bedrooms and hardwood floors so I don't have to worry about leaking. Also will pay us enough that we never have to worry about running out of diapers again. I also found someone local on an abdl personals page and it seems like we get along pretty well so I might have moral support too and a safe space to regress. Once we start getting paid from the new job I'm gonna cut up and throw away all our old undies and never ever ever look back!!!

Always for me because I know I can never be potty trained ever again.

I've been to little events like munches and meet and greets but the rule was no visible diapers. Personally I have no interest in anyone seeing me in a diaper except my Wife and my Daddy so we don't go to play parties ourselves.

I woke up about an hour ago because I was peeing my overnight diaper. Just a few minutes ago, a small wave of poop came out. I will be sitting in my messy diaper for a while because I know there is more poop coming.

Almost always for me as a DL.

I’ve been wondering what a little can do for a caregiver to help them? As in what can a little do to help recharge a caregiver who is giving to help the little.

" yeah im a princess " gracie said agreeing with rye when she was picky. Gracie laughed as rye fed her. Every time he made the noise gracie would clapp her hands then open her mouth to eat. " daddy silly " she told him when she was finshed eating. Her face was covered in oatmeal after her playful breakfast. gracie turned her attention to gwen when she came out. " yeah mommy wanna the mermaid toys " she said less interested in eating her food.

Rye chuckled at that. “Oh my, we got a picky baby today.” Teased Rye tickling her feet. “Here comes the train head to the tunnel. Chuga Chuga Choo Choo.” Sat Rye making train noises as he brought the food into Gracie’s mouth. He would switch is from train, to cars, to planes. Each on he made sound effect for and silly faces. “Last bite. Plane is waiting to land in the hanger. Vrrrooomm.” He said flying the spoon around like has with everything else. “Vrrrooom.” He said aiming for her mouth. “Gracie, do you want some of your pool toys and floaties?” Asked Gwen getting out the swim diapers. They were pink with mermaids on them. “You are going to look so cute in your one piece.” Squealed Gwen ready to spend time with her baby. Gwen was in a two piece that showed off her large breast. She just took her first pill to start producing milk.

Just some gals chillin' in this chapter. Hanging out. Bein' pals. ----- 10 Sarita sat on her couch with an amused expression. Nero was on the back of the couch, meowing at her. He’d been at it for a good five minutes. He’d always been a little complainer, but Sarita was pretty sure she was feeling outright lectured by her kitty for the first time. “Nero, you’re repeating yourself. I don’t speak cat, but you did that same meow a minute ago.” The answer to Sarita’s gentle rebuke was an indignant yowl. Tired of being chewed out by her cat, Sarita grabbed the little black kitty by the scruff of his neck and put him in her lap. He gave a few half-hearted meows before switching to cuddle mode. Nero’s first order of business was to rub his cheek all over Sarita’s new clothes. With a few circles to make sure that both blouse and skirt were properly shed-on, Nero sat down to make biscuits. Laughing at her industrious pet, Sarita checked her phone. Surprisingly, it was before eight am. An early morning on a day off demanded a nap, and Sarita had no intention of resisting. An hour later, Sarita was rudely pushed back into consciousness by the need to pee. Her foggy mind sapped her limbs of energy in protest. She’d just gotten super comfortable on the couch. Furthermore, Nero was a warm ball on her lap, purring as he snoozed. Technically I don’t have to get up. I’m still wearing the diaper Astra put on me. It was an absurd thought – wasn’t it? Sure, she wasn’t playing with Astra at the moment, but she’d used several diapers on dates with her Angel. Would wetting another one be any different? There was enough justification for Sarita’s sleepy mind to relax her bladder and return to napping. The warmth in her diaper only increased her coziness, making sleep come easier than it had the first time. ----- Waking up with a clammy diaper was not nearly as fun as falling asleep with a warm one. The squish on her butt when Sarita sat up made her bits tingle. That’s confirmation then. The diapers are sexy by themselves. Good thing I know at least two hot ladies who like diapered girls. It’d been distressingly easy and convenient to use her diaper. Sarita considered texting Astra to tell her, but decided to save that tidbit for the next time she saw her Angel. It’d be an easy way to get her girlfriend’s motor going and earn some praise. Or maybe I’d get a spanking? I’m still not clear if I’m supposed to be in trouble for using the diapers or not. A shower, a fresh outfit, and lunch were on the schedule. The first two Sarita managed easily. On her way to item three, she caught Nero sleeping on the pack of decorated diapers. Moving him resulted in a lot of meows and a trip to the litterbox so that he could stare accusingly at Sarita. No sooner had Sarita provided clean litter for her kitty than there was a notification on her phone. Astra had a list of reminders for her, including a prompt to not forget lunch. That one was really useful, as she’d completely forgotten about food. Also on the list was a reminder to unpack her laundry, so she’d have something un-wrinkled to wear to work. Reasoning that the earlier she could get a work shirt hung up, the better, Sarita dumped her laundry duffel out on her bed. She was proud to have three work shirts hung up and lightly misted so that the wrinkles would relax out. The skirts were wrinkle-proof, which meant they got shoved in the dresser. Sarita had finished organizing her bra drawer when a text came in from Nohemi. Nohemi Hey girl! You still off work? Sarita Yeah. Just doing chores and getting yelled at by my cat. Nohemi Can I steal you away? Don’t tell Nero it was me. Sarita No promises, he’s been in a mood. :3 Where do you want to meet? Nohemi My place, if that’s okay. Sarita I can’t wait to see it. Send me your address. Clothes could obviously wait, especially since there were enough of them put away for a few days at work. Sarita gave Nero some extra scritches in the hopes that he’d forgive her for leaving again so soon. Giving her kitty attention until he wanted to be left alone was usually good for a happy Nero when she came home. ----- Sarita climbed the creaky metal stairs to Nohemi’s apartment. They’d clearly been a rush-replacement for the original wood stairway, typical of one of Ardenthill’s historic apartment buildings. The stairwell even smelled old, with hints of smoke and mold in the ancient brick. There were – a lot of stairs. No wonder Nohemi’s butt looks so good. The building Sarita lived in got out of having an elevator by topping out at three stories. Nohemi’s was five stories, but was using its historic status as an excuse for lacking an elevator. I don’t usually think about buildings this much, Sarita mused, as she crested the fourth floor landing. Mimi just had to live on the top floor, didn’t she? Panting, she took a moment to catch her breath on the fifth floor. The hallway wasn’t worth five floors of stairs, but it was cool enough to make Sarita envious. The carpet was old, well taken care of, and woven with a beautiful pattern. Unlike the cheap spartan aesthetic of a modern building, the walls were decorated with carved wood moldings and chair rails. Even Nohemi’s door was cool, it was solid black and looked like oak under the stain. There were worn spots on it from generations of hands and feet holding it open. Nohemi had the door open moments after Sarita knocked. “You made it! I hope the stairs weren’t too much of a pain.” Nohemi looked dapper in a button-up shirt and a blue vest. “They were okay. You look fancy. What’s the occasion?” Sarita gave Nohemi a hug, noting the soft fabric of her vest approvingly. “I got a wild hair and cleaned my whole apartment. It was fun to dress up a little after. You’re looking cute too.” Sarita looked down at her midi skirt and single breasted blouse with horizontal and vertical stripes meeting at the buttons. Dressing on autopilot had resulted in an outfit very similar to what Astra had put her in. She’s going to have me dressing like a 50’s housewife if I don’t pay attention. I wonder if that’s the look she likes, or if she got a deal on those clothes. “Thanks! I’m not sure why I dressed up, I didn’t do anything ambitious like clean my apartment.” “Then you can enjoy mine. Let me show you around.” Though it was cleaner than Sarita’s apartment had been since she moved in, Nohemi’s apartment didn’t have the white-glove feel of Astra’s. Part of that was the sheer age of the building. There was only so much cleaning you could do on old brick and wood. Overall the feeling was comfy, even homey. Nohemi’s kitchen looked well used and cared for, with familiar spices and a tortilla warmer that saw enough use to never be put away. The bathroom had wonderful old tile who’s funky pattern set Sarita’s mind spinning with design possibilities. Her favorite part of the tour was the deep-cushioned couch in the living room. With built-in pillows on the arms, it was the perfect spot for curling up. Sarita wasted no time getting her shoes off and doing exactly that. “You got comfy fast. Is that going to be your spot?” “I like that idea! Yes, this is my cozy spot.” “You’ll have to come over a lot to establish residency.” Nohemi winked. “Oh no, how will I manage?” Sarita scooted closer to Nohemi. “I love hanging out with you.” “I like it a lot too.” Nohemi fell quiet, watching Sarita’s face. “What have you been up to?” “Mostly work. The ABDU is opening a new building and there’s literally miles of wire to pull. What about you?” “I had three days off! It’s been really nice. Usually I work six days a week and it’s super stressful.” “That’s great! What’d you do with your extra days?” “I went on a couple of dates.” Sarita blushed. “But that’s not all I do!” “Relax, you go on as many dates as you want. Are you still with Astra?” “I’m not with anybody. I’m dating two girls right now, and Astra is one of them.” “Oh?” Nohemi’s interest was clearly piqued. “Do you know Pauline? I went on a date with her too.” “Yeah, I know her. She’s a nice girl.” “She is. I don’t know if I feel the spark with her though.” “Oh yeah? What makes you spark?” “I wish I knew.” Sarita completed her scooting journey to Nohemi’s side of the couch and leaned against her friend. As she’d hoped, Nohemi drew her into a hug. “Stuff went really well with Astra on our last date but there were still like – bumps.” “What do you mean by bumps?” Nohemi’s arms felt tense around Sarita. “I’m sorry, I know you have stuff with her. We don’t have to talk about her.” “Mija, it’s okay. If you want to talk about your date with Astra, I’m here for you.” Nohemi’s voice sounded strained. Details were out of the question, Sarita decided. I’ll just ask the most important question. Then we can get off the topic so that Nohemi doesn’t have to be annoyed. “The bumps aren’t that important. There’s always bumps. The thing I’m really having trouble with is – I think she wants to say the L word. I don’t know if she’s waiting for me to say it first, or if she wants me to be more comfortable first, but she was super amped last night and almost said it a bunch of times.” “Is the L word Love, Sarita?” Nohemi asked sarcastically. “Girl, if you can’t even say it talking to me, no wonder Astra is nervous.” “Why do I let you be so mean to me?” “Because you like me.” “I like you a lot, Mimi.” Sarita smiled and cuddled in closer, resting her head on Nohemi’s shoulder. “I’m sure you know it’s a bad idea to say you’re in love before you are. What’s the big worry? Astra hasn’t said it yet, she’d probably waiting until she feels it too.” “She’s said everything else though. The whole night and morning it was over the top stuff about how I’m the best Little Girl ever and that I’m her princess.” Nohemi held her breath. “She called you Princess? Like a nickname?” “Yeah, why? What’s up?” “Did you go home on your own or did she need to work?” “She took me home early, it was probably for work. What’s going on?” “It’s nothing – I shouldn’t say anything.” “That doesn’t sound like nothing!” Sarita wiggled around in the embrace until she could look Nohemi in the eye. In the process she found herself sitting on Nohemi’s lap. “It’s nothing bad for you. It’s great for you. I don’t want to be causing you and Astra a problem with rumors.” “You’re starting to freak me out. Please, Nohemi, tell me what you’re hinting around.” Nohemi sighed and closed her eyes. She put her hands on Sarita’s hips to balance her, thought better of it and moved her hands to Sarita’s thighs. For some reason, that still didn’t sit right with her, and she let her hands drop to her sides. “Look, it really isn’t a bad thing for you. I shouldn’t have even asked those questions. It’s just – you’re so comfortable with this stuff and you know everyone from the Munch Group, it’s hard to remember that you don’t know everyone’s history.” “You keep saying it’s not bad for me. Who’s it bad for?” “Fuck. Okay, I’ll tell you. Do you know that Astra plays with other Little Girls?” “Yes. Oriana told me and Astra and I had a conversation about it. Is that it?” “No.” Nohemi raised her eyes to the ceiling and crossed herself. “Look, Astra can be a lot of fun to date. She’s high energy and she makes a great Mommy.” “But?” Sarita frowned, watching Nohemi’s face intently. “She has some – patterns – that people in the local scene picked up on over time. If she’s calling you Princess, then yeah, she does want to say she loves you.” “I’m so confused. How is that some big problem thing? I mean, I’m not ready to say I love her, but it’s sweet that she wants to.” “I told you it’s not bad for you. It means she’s going to break up with Jenevieve.” “What!? She said she wasn’t dating Jenevieve.” Sarita wobbled on Nohemi’s lap. Her friend caught her by the waist. There was a sick feeling in Sarita’s stomach. “She’s not exactly – damn it, Sarita, I’m screwing this up. Seriously, Astra is into you. She’s one hundred percent on team Sarita.” “Then how is it a breakup with Jenevieve?” “Because Jenevieve wants to be Astra’s full time Little Girl more than anything. So much, that she pretends she’s dating Astra even though she knows they’re not really dating. When Astra meets somebody she really likes – she stops playing with Jenevieve.” “Oh. They’re just going to stop playing at the Green Fairy? Why did you call it a breakup?” “To Jenevieve, it is. To Astra, it’s just letting a play partner know that they can’t play anymore.” “You make it sound like Astra is abusing Jenevieve.” The sick feeling in Sarita’s stomach was growing rapidly. “She’s not! Astra could – probably be more careful, but she’s not malicious. If you’ve spent the night with her a couple of times you know how she is. She gets so excited to play that she just goes for it when she has someone to play with.” That’s not wrong. Actually that description makes me feel better about the bumps. I understand where they’re coming from a little better. Sarita’s stomach calmed, though she could feel her body holding the nervous energy in reserve for another bad revelation. “Mimi, you’d tell me if Astra was some kind of manipulator or abuser, right?” “I absolutely would. She’s not, to the best of my knowledge, and I know her pretty well. This is why I didn’t want to get into this with you. I’m sorry I dredged up all the scene gossip. It’s not fair to put that on you, when you weren’t here for it happening.” “So Astra doesn’t do any scary or cruel stuff to the girls she dates, is what you’re saying? On God?” “There’s no serial killer or psycho stuff in her, on God.” Sarita searched Nohemi’s face. Something in her friend’s expression didn’t sit right. There was an uncomfortable truth that Mimi wasn’t telling her. If it was something from Nohemi’s own past with Astra – then Sarita didn’t need to know. But if it was something else… “On God? You’re being honest with me?” “On God! I’m not lying.” “Bitch, if you’re about to tell me you don’t believe in God…” “Mija, I go to mass. Why do you think I never reply to your texts before ten on a Sunday?” “Oh.” Sarita hung her head guiltily. “I don’t go to mass anymore.” Nohemi laughed. “That’s fine, I’m not upset with you. I’ll even cover for you if your abuelas are after you about it.” The ball of nervous energy untied itself, which helped Sarita’s tummy but sent nervous energy into her arms and legs. On impulse, she leaned in and hugged Nohemi tightly. “Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry I freaked out. I’ve had bad relationship stuff and I get scared.” “It’s okay. Like I said, I’m sorry I brought it up. None of this is your drama. I’m friends with Jenevieve and I got worried for her. My mouth got ahead of my brain.” “I just want to be happy.” Sarita was surprised at the sadness in her voice. From the way Nohemi’s breath caught, she was surprised as well. “I want you to be happy too.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita tightly and rubbed her back. “If you believe anything I say, believe that.” Tears sprang into Sarita’s eyes. She sat up and wiped them away. “You’re such a good friend, Mimi. You know you can vent to me too, right? I’ll always listen.” Nohemi’s mouth crooked sadly. Ugh, poor Mimi. I always drop my drama on her. I’m the worst friend. “That means a lot, Sarita. I’m sure I’ll need that sometime.” “It’s kind of hard to imagine. You seem so – good at stuff. You’re winning at life.” “I am?” Nohemi looked at Sarita incredulously. “Compared to me you are. You’ve got a good job, lots of friends, you’re really smart and kind. You’re not some big emotional mess all the time, you’re all – cool and – I don’t know, mature?” Sarita looked away bashfully before adding, “I look up to you.” Nohemi shifted, looking uncomfortable. Belatedly, Sarita realized she’d been on Nohemi’s lap and up in her space way more than was probably okay for their level of friendship. Quickly, she scooted onto the neighboring couch cushion. “Sarita – you might be the sweetest girl I know.” Nohemi stroked Sarita’s cheek and brushed away her tear-trail. It felt wonderful to get such a caring touch after she’d imposed on Nohemi so much. She’s such a great friend. I have to make sure to take care of her too. I want her to be happy. “Thanks. Sorry for the crazy emotional afternoon. I don’t know why I got so spun up.” Sarita’s stomach punctuated her sentence with a raucous growl. “When did you last eat?” “I made lunch before I came over – wait, no I didn’t, I got distracted with the kitty litter and the laundry.” “Sarita, it’s almost four. Did you have a big breakfast at least?” “Um – I had two pieces of toast.” Nohemi shook her head. “Get your butt up, we’re making an early dinner.” Meekly, Sarita followed her friend to the kitchen. “What are we making?” “Arroz con pollo.” Nohemi opened her cupboards to pull out rice, tomato sauce, and chilis. “Doesn’t that take like – an hour?” Sarita’s stomach grumbled again. “I have leftover chicken we’re going to use, it’ll be twenty five minutes tops. Do you know how to chop an onion?” Nohemi put a cutting board and knife in front of Sarita. “What kind of question is that? You think I’m a little kid who doesn’t know how to cook?” “I’ve seen how many taquitos are in your freezer. We barely got the tamales in there.” Nohemi gave Sarita a playful swat on the rear. “Onions are in the basket at the end of the counter. Get chopping.” “Okay, fine.” Sarita laughed and grabbed an onion. As she chopped, she kept watch on Nohemi out of the corner of her eye. The look on her friend’s face wasn’t too disapproving. Sarita smiled. She might not be the best cook over, but she could chop an onion without cutting herself. Cooking with Nohemi created an instantly easy rhythm. Sarita chopped garlic after the onion, and chilis after that. Nohemi adeptly managed the pan and prep for the leftover chicken. While the rice and chicken simmered, they leaned on the counter and chatted. Nohemi had poured herself a glass of the white wine she’d put in the sauce, and Sarita asked for a glass without remembering her empty stomach. She put the glass down as soon as she realized she was getting giggly and silly. Luckily, Nohemi didn’t seem to mind. She was a attentive and smiling a ever. I wish Nohemi and I could hang out all the time

I honestly don't know anymore I've been 24/7 for a few years, but I still know when I pee. However, i've gotten so used to wearing a wet diaper that I might think the wetness is just sweat if I don't remember peeing. I'll say this, I don't think I would trust myself without padding. I probably wouldn't flood it, but i would leak.

Sorry about the long wait aka hiatus, I kinda lost passion for writing for a while and had to take a break and also go out of state for a while to visit friends/family to unwind. Hopefully anyone is still interested in this story, I'm still writing, it took a bit to come up with this next part, and I hope I can continue to provide more to this site. Chapter 11 Claire felt like she was about to be devoured by the giant figure lurking over her and there was nothing she could do about it. And even though she was facing the inevitable, she had to try something to avoid the downward spiral that affected many of her kind. She had never once been forced to wear a diaper since first arriving in the amazon dimension, and she didn’t want that streak to come to an end. “Excuse me…Miss. Kimberly, but is it possible that I can continue to wear my normal form of underwear? If you are worried about the possibility of me having an accident, I’ll gladly grant you access to my personal records if you wish. Heck, you can even ask Tracy about my history. I’ve never once had an accident while in this dimension.” Claire wanted to shout at the unholy bitch that stood in front of her but she knew that she had to remain dignified, to show that she was a mature portal little. “Is your whittle partner throwing a temper tantrum?” Kimberly turned her attention to Tracy as if she didn’t hear a word that Claire said. “It’s all peachy, she is just adjusting to the recent changes in the laws. Claire is a good girl, she will comply.” As Tracy spoke up, Claire noticed that her amazon co-worker was putting on a pair of simple white panties, which made her even more displeased. An amazon was allowed to wear normal underwear while she was being forced to wear the one item that defined all littles. “Are you having trouble undressing yourself? I can assist if you like.” Kimberly’s words caught Claire’s attention and caused her to take a few steps back as she felt herself becoming more cornered. “Ms…Kimberly, why is it that my co-worker, Tracy is allowed to wear normal underwear and I’m expected to wear…That. I thought we were supposed to be dressed exactly the same based on the information I was given.” Claire didn’t like putting Tracy on notice but she didn’t want to comply without getting a reasonable answer. “It’s quite simple. Tracy is an amazon and you are a little. That is the reason, nothing more, nothing less.” Kimberly looked utterly serious and knew that was enough to justify her reasoning. “But the only reason that I would wear a diaper is if there was the potential of me having an accident, I have a perfect record in this dimension, why are you ignoring that very fact?” “We are not ignoring that, however… Ms Colbatz personally requested that you wear a diaper to the meeting And her words are absolute, whether you agree with it or not. If you need to know more, she believes that you would look more presentable.” 'So they only want me to look cute for them, that's all this is about...Shit, this is so ridiculous and yet I'm not one bit surprised.' Claire knew that this meeting would be far from the standard, at least from the perspective of a little. She secretly bit her tongue as she tried to find something to say that could push things into her favor. “What’s the hold up? Hurry up and undress, if that’s too hard, perhaps a spanking would help motivate you.” Claire could see that Kimberly was getting impatient and that her co-worker, Tracy was just watching quietly while putting on her new bra. “I’m so sorry, Ms Kimberly, but is it okay if you give me and Claire just a few minutes to talk this over?” Tracy asked as she decided to intervene before things escalated. Kimberly took a glance at her watch before looking back down at Claire. Nothing was going to change the result but she decided to respect Tracy’s request. “I’ll give you five minutes to talk this over. I’ll be in the next room over, there is something I actually need to get.” Kimberly left with a smug look on her face. The expression of someone proud of the complete utter control they had. Tracy could see that Claire had her hands clenched into a fist, obviously not pleased by what she was being asked or rather forced to do. The amazon knelt down to one knee so she could talk to Claire on an equal level. “As you know, this is a critical moment Claire, this meeting is also critical for testing your maturity, I know that you can get through this!” “!...This isn’t some dumb maturity test, Tracy! I already passed every single one of them when I first came to this dimension. This is completely unethical and you know it!” Claire brushed off Tracy’s attempt to help soothe her. She just wanted to vent how utterly terrible the situation had become. No matter the predicament, Claire always knew the right words to avoid from having to wear a diaper, but now, because of the changes in the rules of the law, she had no recourse. “Claire, we have worked with each other for a while now and I understand that you take pride in being a big girl, but should have known that a day like this was coming. It was inevitable.” “I’ve done nothing wrong! I’m not a native little that is mandated to wear diapers regardless of the situation. I’m a well-educated portal little that has constantly gone out of her way to build a good rapport with your kind. This is exactly why I’m considering finding a different job! I don’t care if the pay is that damn good in this place!” Claire wanted to punch something, anything, but it would do no good. Showing any form of aggression would only give more ammo to the amazons. “Claire, it’s not like they are asking you to use the diaper, as Kimberly stated, it’s only for appearance purposes.” “And then what? You should know how this all works. It starts with diapers and then we eventually get bottle fed and finally are forced to sleep in freaking cribs!... Either way, it always leads to our kind being adopted! I’m tired of being seen as something I’m not!...It’s just too much.” Claire felt herself tears in her eyes but she quickly brushed them off, not wanting to show any more of her vulnerable side, especially to her amazon co-worker. “Do you want to know why Sally asked me to adopt her? Tracy asked as she gently placed her large hand on Claire’s shoulder, as if she were trying to console her. “Honestly…I don’t really care…We are completely different individuals. Just because we are both portal littles, it doesn’t mean that we share anything else besides that very fact.” “It’s because she was at her limit, she was mentally exhausted from acting like an adult all the time. She felt like she could be much happier by being cared for by someone that would unconditionally love her despite her faults. It took me some time to consider but eventually I decided that I would become her permanent care-taker. And we both have not regretted the decision.” Claire looked up at her amazon co-worker while raising an eyebrow. “Tracy, are you seriously trying to console me by explaining the oh so wonderful benefits of being adopted!?" “Something like that, ya.” Tracy’s response made Claire chuckle, it was so ridiculous that she couldn’t help but laugh. It was a typical answer that could only come from an amazon. “Haha…Thank you Tracy…I needed a good laugh…” Claire knew that there was nothing she could do now, but it made her realize how fortunate she was. She still had the ability to put in her two weeks notice which would allow her to leave the amazon dimension, she had finally decided that she was done working for Onyx Logistics. Claire wanted to retire early but after the fiasco she had just been put through ,she knew that she could spend a few more years working a boring full-time job before finally retiring, paying off her parents mortgage and then starting her own small-time business. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Claire carefully placed her glasses on the bench next to Tracy as she began to remove her own bra. Tracy could see that Claire was blushing immensely as she placed her bra next to her glasses, leaving her upper body exposed. “I never understood why you ever needed glasses Claire, with your medical coverage, our local health clinic could easily make it so you never need to use them ever again.” Tracy said as she took a glance at Claire’s glasses before watching the portal little slowly lower her panties to her ankles. “It’s more symbolic at this point. I know that I can have my sight completely cured with the advanced technology in this dimension, however, I continue to wear glasses as a reminder that I can keep moving forward on my own accord.” Claire sighed as she carefully placed her panties right on top of her bra. And as much as she wanted to refrain from showing any more vulnerability, Claire couldn’t help but cover her breasts with her left arm and her privates with her right hand, even though she was in a woman’s changing room. Tracy mildly smiled at how brave and adorable she found Claire appeared. She desperately wanted to say how precious she looked, but she knew that it would only antagonize Claire even more. “Tracy, are there any other major changes in the law that have taken place in the past month? Anything else I should worry about?” “Nothing major that reflects on your end. One interesting change is now that any portal little that enrolls in our college campuses must now receive grades of B- or better every quarter, otherwise they will end up forfeiting all their rights and will be put up for adoption.” 'That's so messed up, I feel sorry for all the portal littles that come to this world for a so-called free education. It may not cost any money, but it will cost them their very future!' “Sorry to keep you waiting…OH! I see a very bright whittle girl that is eager for her very first diapey, isn’t she!” Kimberly’s tone made Claire want to vomit. It was that type of self-indulgence that she despised most about the amazons. As Claire lowered her head to hide her obvious anger, Kimberly looked down to analyze Claire’s naked body. “Is there going to be a problem…CLAIRE?” The way Kimberly said her name was deafening. Claire took a deep breath. She was not about to play into the amazon’s hands. Claire slowly looked up and smiled at the giant, as if there was no issue whatsoever. “There is nothing wrong at all! I’m all ready for my…Diaper.” Claire felt like someone took a cheap shot on her midsection as she spoke up. “That’s exactly what we want to hear…Now then, let’s get you over to the corner and plop you right on the changing table!” Kimberly picked Claire up by her bare butt and placed the girl over her shoulder just like most amazons did with littles. “Perhaps I should help Claire out with her change. I think she would be more comfortable if I were to do it.” Tracy’s words felt genuine but the whole context didn’t make Claire feel any better. 'Tracy...You really are something else. I guess I should be fortunate that she is at least trying to be helpful in this awful situation.' Claire really wanted to say her sarcastic opinion outloud but she knew it would end up backfiring on her and she would most likely end up with a spanking or something worse, given that she was inside an etiquette school “Given it’s your first diaper change, I’ll be gentle, but if I see any snarky expression from you, then you are going over my knee, understand?” Kimberly said as she playfully patted Claire’s butt. “Yes…Ms. Kimberly.” 'And while your at it, go shove your face down in a toilet, you power hungry bitch!' Claire found herself being lowered on a well padded changing table. It was the moment that she dreaded. She had seen so many littles being changed this way, but now, she was about to experience it, first hand. 'I can't show this amazon any signs that I'm uncomfortable with this, it will only make give her even more confidence.' As Claire felt her legs being lifted up in the air, Kimberly took another moment to inspect her privates. “Pubic hair?...While there is not much of it, it’s widely frowned upon by our people. Normally I would use a special baby oil to remove it permanently, however, since you are a guest, I do not have the authority to do that.” 'Amazons such as yourself do not deserve any type of authority.' Claire knew that she could only insult the amazon in her thoughts, it was her own private sanctuary. But it amounted to nothing as she felt her privates being wiped with a disposable fabric . Kimberly seemed to be taking her time, making sure that every crevice of her privates was completely clean, especially her rectum. “Everything okay, Claire?” Kimberly asked as she grabbed another baby wipe and continued onwards. “...Yes, I’m doing just fine. No problems…HERE!?” Claire suddenly raised her voice as Kimberly stuck the baby wipe even further up her rectum. Claire couldn’t believe how meticulous the amazon was being, she felt a tear forming in one of her eyes. 'Bitch is wanting me to cause a scene. Probably has the intention of keeping me here in this school.' “Looks like someone hasn’t done a good job at wiping herself! Perhaps it’s best that you leave this job to us amazons going forward.” Kimberly showed Claire a couple very small stains on the wipes, as if she needed to be reminded about her mediocre job at cleaning herself after using the toilet. “Thank you for making sure that I’m all nice and clean down there! Sometimes I tend to do a rather sloppy job, hehe!” Kimberly was surprised by Claire’s response. She was expecting her to scream and cuss away much like many portal littles have been known for. “It’s…It’s my pleasure Claire, I appreciate that you are taking this so…Maturely. I can see why you have such a unique reputation among our kind.” Kimberly wasn’t sure what to think, she hadn’t expected Claire to respond so positive, it made her feel a bit perturbed. As Kimberly grabbed a bottle of baby powder, Claire carefully clenched her fists together. It felt so odd as her privates were being covered by the white powdery substance. It was a smell that she had become so used too, only this time, she was on the personal end of it. “I bet this type of pampering makes you reconsider your own position. Don’t you just wish that you could have a mommy and a daddy look after you on a constant basis?” Kimberly asked as she made sure that the baby powder was spread across not just Claire’s privates but also part of her stomach and thighs. “Nope! Not at all. I still enjoy being a BIG GIRL!” Claire felt so satisfied with herself as she spoke up in a babyish tone of voice. It was obvious now that she was being facetious with the amazon and Kimberly could see what Claire was doing. 'I see now, heh, this portal little is secretly being a smart ass, however you are letting your ego get the best of you, even I was almost fooled.' Kimberly gave a sinister look as she pulled out something from her pocket while holding both of Claire’s ankles in the air. 'Shit! Did I overdo it? What's she planning?' Before Claire could figure out what Kimberly had in store for her, she suddenly found something being put over her head. It was a necklace with something attached to it. Claire quickly realized that it was a pacifier after it was forced into her mouth. “You seem to be a bit too excited, so I want you to suckle on this for a while, it will help in calming you down. Just to let you know, this is actually a personal gift from my boss, Ms.Colbatz. It’s a very special soother, so please enjoy.” Kimberly took a moment to stare at Claire while awaiting for her reaction. Claire slowly nodded her head, as if she were okay with the infantile soother. As Kimberly continued to work on Claire's lower half, the portal little was surprised by the texture of the rubber teat, especially since it was the first time she had ever used one while in the amazon dimension. Pacifiers were the second most popular function for quieting littles. The first was obviously breastfeeding. Claire quickly noticed that she would not be able to remove the pacifier without the help of her hands. The rubber teat was stuck firmly in her mouth. 'On the bright side, that amazon bitch seems to have remained quiet herself, not a bad trade.' Claire began to wiggle her toes as she felt unexpectedly pleased with herself, almost as if she had won a huge victory, no matter what happened next, she felt like she could handle this upcoming meeting with ease. “OH? Look at you! You really are a big girl, yes you are! Yes you are!...Who’s ready for their diapey wipey, You are! Yes…YOU ARE!” Kimberly began to tickle Claire on her bare stomach while continuing to talk to her in babyish chatter. Claire couldn't help but giggle out loud as the amazon then started to blow raspberries near her belly button. 'Holy crap! Was I always this ticklish!? Kimberly was pleased as she noticed that Claire was now suckling on the pacifier at a faster rate, she then stopped the tickling barrage after feeling satisfied with the results. Claire slowly looked up as Kimberly grabbed a diaper below the changing table and then proceeded to slowly place it underneath Claire’s butt. The padding made Claire’s body twitch, as the padded softness was completely foreign to her bare skin. “It’s going to be alright, your new diaper is going to keep you all nice safe and secure.” Kimberly thought she heard some whimpering noises coming from Claire’s mouth as she applied the topsheet of the disposable undergarment over her privates and then securely applied the tapes to each side. Seeing a strong-willed little like Claire reduced to wearing only a diaper and suckling on a pacifier made Kimberly feel very proud of her position in the school. Claire kept her head to the side as the diaper change was finally completed, she obviously felt embarrassed but as she continued to suckle on the soother, she felt herself becoming more relieved which to her, wasn't a bad feeling. . “How does it feel, Claire? I bet you are super duper thrilled to be in your nice warmy and comfy diapey.” Kimberly lifted Claire off the changing table and placed the padded girl over her shoulder. 'It would be ten times nicer if you stopped talking' “A happy baby always makes for a happy amazonian, am I right?” Kimberly gently patted the back of Claire’s new undergarment, letting her know what she was now wearing. Claire sighed through the pacifier, eagerly waiting the moment that she could leave the vile clutches of this power hungry amazon. 'Don't take the bait and get angry at the amazon, it's exactly what she wants.' “Would you mind giving me a hug, just to show that we are on good terms with each other?” Kimberly's words were more of a warning than a question. Claire knew that she was in no position to refuse and slowly hugged the amazonian. Despite her internal feelings being the quite opposite. “And just in case if you really need to go potty, you can go pee pee and and or poo poo whenever you want now without having to ask.” Kimberly could see a crack in Claire's facade, she knew that the portal little was having a tough time adjusting and she enjoyed every minute of it. ‘You definitely belong in diapers. It's a shame that you haven't been adopted yet, heck, I would consider taking you home myself if I was given the legal authority." Claire cringed at the amazons words, it was blatantly obvious that the amazon's maternal instincts were taking over. It was the same with almost every female amazon. 'I need to keep things together! Otherwise I could face the wrath of my boss, Ms. Colbatz!' Kimberly took a deep breath as she carried the now padded little out of the changing area and brought her back to where Tracy was waiting. Tracy remained quiet as Kimberly handed Claire over to her, she couldn't believe that her too see how different her co-worker looked while wearing just a diaper and suckling on a soother. It did bring a smile smile to her face, though she made sure that no one noticed. Tracy did have some concern about the pacifier, as their were many types that could regress a little's mental state. From what she could see, Claire appeared to be very self aware, but she still wanted to ask some questions. “What’s with the pacifier Kimberly? Was Claire behaving inappropriately?” “No, she was quite the obedient little girl, the pacifier is actually a personal gift from my boss, Ms. Colbatz, she wanted Claire to have the soother as a gift for visiting our school. And don’t you worry, the pacifier doesn’t have any regressive effects with the exception of providing additional internal relief compared to most. Also, here is the onesie dress that she will be required to wear to the meeting. I'll allow you to dress your partner, though I don’t think there would be a problem if she came into the meeting in just her diaper, hehe. Anyhow, I’m going to inform my boss that you two are about ready.” Kimberly smiled as she exited the area, leaving Tracy alone with her padded partner. 'Thank goodness she is gone, I was getting a bit worried that she would have tried to kidnap me. It doesn't take much for a female amazon to lose any common sense when they are holding a little they deem adorable.' While Claire was thrilled to have her leave, she still had another amazonian to deal with, her co-worker Tracy. She had hoped that her maternal instincts would not cause her to act out inappropriately. Claire started to make some muffling noises, pointing to the pacifier that was in her mouth, Tracy noticed and looked deeply concerned as she placed her partner on her lap. “What is it Claire? Did you have an accident already? Here, let me check.” Claire sighed loudly through the pacifier as Tracy checked the inside of her diaper and quickly found it to be clean. Claire then used her right hand to mildly hit Tracy on her forehead, trying to knock some sense into the amazon. “I’m so sorry Claire, hehe, sometimes I can be air headed, hehe." Tracy removed the pacifier from her mouth as she awaited for her partners response. “Jesus Tracy! An accident!? That’s the first thing you think of when I was trying to get your attention!” “I’m sorry, it’s just you remind me of my precious Sally, being in just a diaper and all.” “I’m sure seeing any little in a diaper will remind you of your adopted daughter, honestly this is just beyond ridiculous. Claire noticed that Tracy was rubbing her bare back with her large hand and then quickly smacked it away. She could see that Tracy was having a hard time not indulging in her amazonian instincts. “So how are you holding up Claire? Did Kimberly do anything that could be worth reporting to my boss at headquarters? “Nothing substantial, at least for this dimension. I still can’t believe it, after visiting this dimension numerous times, this is how I end up in a damn diaper.” Claire tried to help herself off of Tracy’s lap, however due to the amazons firm grip on her waist, she couldn't' budge. It brought a moment of concern. “So what do you think? It’s not as bad as you thought, right?” Tracy asked as she picked Claire up and patted her diapered butt. “OH YA! Just what I always wanted! Now I just need a mommy and daddy to keep me all safe!” Claire was sarcastic with her reply, however Tracy didn't seem to get the picture. “Are you serious Claire? Do you really want to be adopted and cared for?” Tracy asked as she looked right in Claire’s eyes with a focused look. “Tracy, you seem to be incapable of understanding sarcasm, especially while I’m dressed like this. So how about letting me go so I can get dressed. I just want to hurry up and get this meeting over with!” Claire unknowingly grabbed the pacifier that was dangling around her neck and then plopped it back into her mouth in frustration, which caught Tracy by surprise. She didn’t say anything as she lowered so Claire was now standing on her bare two feet. Tracy held off from asking any questions for the time being as she decided to indulge in Claire's request and help her in getting changed into the mandatory onesie outfit. “WellI…In that case, arms up!” Tracy asked as she held the onesie with both her hands. Claire nonchalantly allowed Tracy to put the simple black and white onesie on her without question. Tracy wasn’t sure if Claire was just trying to rush things or if the pacifier actually had some influence with her decision making. Seeing Claire willingly put the soother in her mouth, did make her feel a bit apprehensive. 'If Claire secretly enjoys using the pacifier, it's not my place to ask why.' Tracy watched as Claire lifted each foot in the air, allowing her to put socks on her feet. Claire just continued to suckle away while allowing her amazon co-worker to dress her and then finally finished by putting her glasses on the her. 'Chloe probably is having a much harder time than myself, she has to put up with being a baby for the next week, non-stop. I guess I should count my blessings that this is only a one day thing.' After being dressed, Claire took a glance at her butt and could see the obvious bulge where the padding was. Even though the onesie was very simple looking with most of her lower half being exposed, it was plainly obvious that her outfit was far different from Tracy’s standard looking black dress which had a skirt that covered all of her lower half. The discrimination between amazon and little was apparent. “Despite everything that has happened, I’m still proud of you for behaving like a mature little, Claire. I know that unlike myself, this is far from ideal for you, but we will get through this meeting together!” Tracy picked Claire up and held the girl near her waist. Claire silently sighed through the pacifier while laying her head on Tracy’s chest. Kimberly returned a minute later, a satisfied smile was on her face. “You two look absolutely adorable together. Just a like a mother and her baby daughter." Claire lowered her head as she felt her face blush, she hated the comparison with utter passion. Tracy obviously took the response as a compliment. "Anyhow, I just want to let you know that Ms. Colbatz is almost finished with her current board of directors meeting, so if you would please follow me, I will take you to the waiting room that is near her office.” Tracy quietly carried Claire while following Kimberly to the waiting room that was only a few rooms over. As the trio entered the waiting room, Kimberly guided Tracy over to one of the many chairs that were available to sit on. The amazon took a seat while placing Claire on her lap. The waiting room looked quite bland, as there was nothing out of the ordinary. A television was connected near the far corner of the room and there was a mess of magazines on a wooden table near them. It was the prototypical waiting room that you would see in most waiting rooms. Claire was thankful that they were the only ones in the room. “I’ll be back in just a moment when Ms. Colbatz is ready to see you two. As for you Claire, if you have any desire for some playtime, there are some wonderful and colorful looking blocks, among other neat toys in the far left corner of the room, you are more than welcome to help yourself to pass the time.” Kimberly pointed out to the variety of childish looking toys that were right below where the tv was. Claire just gave the amazon a disinterested look, as she was unable to say anything due to the pacifier being in her mouth. “Ms. Kimberly, I just want to again thank you for the whole tour, it was nice to know more about the school's history.” Tracy stated as she watched Kimberly used a key card to open a door to a different area. "We at Angel Aspirations are proud to have you visit us, we are looking forward to your upcomin presentation." Kimberly gave her goodbyes while winking at Claire. 'Just hurry up and leave from my sight!' Tracy began to review the paperwork for the upcoming meeting while Claire glanced at it herself. A few minutes later, Tracy noticed that Claire was trying to say something as her constant muffling could be heard from beyond the pacifier. As Tracy removed the soother, Claire exhaled, as if she were free from all form of restrictions. “Thank you so much Tracy! There are a few things I wanted to address with you before the meeting.” “Umm…Claire, you do realize that you can just remove the pacifier yourself, you don’t need my assistance to do that.” Tracy said as she pointed out to Claire that the pacifier was not the type that could be locked in her mouth. Claire blushed immesley at the obvious error in judgment. Just a moment later, Claire plopped the pacifier back into her mouth and continued to suckle on it for the next minute. Tracy looked concerned as she saw a smile on Claire's face, but before she could say anything, Claire removed the soother from her mouth. “Wow! You're right Tracy. I must be zoning out or something, hehe. Anyhow, until the meeting begins, to pass the time, I'm gonna go play with some of the toys over there, so could you help me down on the floor?” Claire’s request caught Tracy off guard. 'Claire wants to play with toys? Did I hear that correctly?' “That’s fine…Claire, but I thought you wanted to review some of the documents with me?” “I trust ya, you are pretty capable when it comes to stuff like this.” Claire gave a thumbs up before grabbing the pacifier that was hanging around her neck and then putting it back into her mouth, as if it were something she had always had done. Tracy slowly lowered Claire onto the floor and then watched with interest as her portal little partner started to crawled over to wear the toys where. Seeing Claire look so infantile made Tracy smile. She quickly covered her expression with her hand, feeling slightly guilty over what she was witnessing. ‘As adorable as this is, there is definitely something wrong with all of this. Something with that pacifier is influencing Claire's decision making. Should I bring this up to her? ... Perhaps I'll only do that if it affects her upcoming presentation.' Tracy took a few minutes to go over the paperwork that would be presented while also keeping a close eye on Claire. She couldn't help but smile at seeing how innocent she looked, playing with some toy cars with both her hands. She didn’t remotely look like the headstrong coworker that she had always known. Tracy noticed that Claire seemed to be having trouble staying completely engaged with the toys, as if she was fighting two sides to herself. 'I have to say that it's quite amusing to see Claire behave like a proper little. Perhaps this will be the start of something promising for her future.' Tracy knew that if Claire's sudden change in attitude continued, it would definitely effect her job in the future. If any of the other co-workers saw Claire right now, it would give them an excuse to file grievance report which could lead to Claire getting fired, as if any portal little appeared to be acting far from mature, it would always lead to adoption. ''Unfortunately I'll be on maternity leave while Claire is still on the job. If she is forced be adopted, hopefully Aisha will be the one that takes her in. The two of them seem to have a close bond with each other.' Tracy decided to focus all her attention on the documents as she didn't have the luxury to worry about something that had not transpired. 'Why do I get the feeling that something is off? Like my whole world is being turned upside down? I just don't understand!' Claire stopped playing with the toys in front of her for a moment as she began a moment of self-reflection. She still felt very self aware and didn’t understand as to what could be the problem. 'Life is too short to worry about things that have no relevance. I should just focus on what's in front of me!' Seeing no issue, Claire decided to brush off the lingering awkward feelings she had and continued to focus on the toy cars and the blocks in front of her. She began to make some noises with her mouth, mimicking the sound of a race car. A few minutes later Kimberly walked back into the waiting room, she smiled gleefully at how Claire was behaving. Tracy casually walked up to her, wanting to address a concern of her's. "Please be truthful to me, that pacifier that Claire is using...There is more to it than you are letting on, correct? Kimberly could see the worry in Tracy's expression but it was not of one that had any lingering anger behind it. “It’s a prototype special pacifier that our company recently finished developing. As you know, most pacifiers either regress a littles mental state or do nothing to manipulate the mindset of a little. The soother Claire is using helps stimulate the superior parietal cortex of the mind, in a way that will help her assimilate with the standard lifestyle that all littles are known for in this dimension. Our school has done much research and found a more progressive option that could help amazons that have adopted portal littles and ease them into their new livelihoods. These pacifiers have not been released to the general public yet, but we are looking at achieving that milestone in the next year." “That’s fine and all, but won’t Claire eventually realize that her mental well-being is being manipulated to this extent?” Tracy was worried about any potential backlash that could possibly occur if Claire just stopped using the pacifier altogether. “We have done some experiments when it comes to that result and thanks to the abundance of portal littles that are stationed in our school and their has been a ninety five percent success rate when it comes to the response of a prolonged use with the prototype pacifier. Most littles have a positive reaction no matter the outcome from the soother. This is without a doubt, a game changer, on par with the results of a amazon breast-feeding a little for an extended duration." Kimberly stated. “Is this specifically why your boss requested Claire to come to this meeting?” Tracy wondered if there was a hidden purpose to this upcoming presentation. “In some aspects, yes. My boss has heard quite a bit about Claire's reputation and how mature she has been perceived by your colleagues at Diamond Tours and wanted to meet her face to face. Also we assumed that giving her one of our prototype soothers would yield some interesting results, I hope that you have no issue with that?" Kimberly asked "Well...I personally don't mind Claire using something like that as long as it doesn't hinder her ability to do her job, besides I've always believed that she would be happier if she allowed herself to be adopted. I would appreciate a heads up before going through with it." Tracy replied. “I completely understand. Also, Ms, Colbatz is ready to see you two. So when you are ready, please follow me.” Kimberly waited and watched as Tracy walked over and then knelt down to speak with Claire, whom was busy with the toys around her. “Heya Claire, sorry to bother you, but it’s time for the meeting. Are you all set?” Tracy asked as she helped Claire to her feet. Claire tried to say something but her words were muffled by the pacifier. Tracy quickly pointed to the pacifier which caught the portal littles attention. She immediately removed it while blushing slightly. “About time, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get this over with.” Claire said with a straight face, trying to ignore the steady enjoyment she had with the toys. “You certainly seemed absorbed with your playtime, hehe.” Claire just shrugged it off Tracy's response as if it was a minor insult. Tracy picked Claire up and began to carry her along while following Kimberly through the secure door, down a long hallway. Claire stared blankly at the pacifier around her neck, she couldn't help but be invested in it. She didn't know why, but she found the infantile item to be immensely pleasurable. 'This better not give them an excuse to talk to me in baby chatter.' “Oh! Before head further on in, does whittle Clairey need her diapey change?” Kimberly asked. Claire just sighed from the question. “No thanks, all dry on this end. The diaper is just for show, if you well remember.” Even though her response was valid enough, Tracy still decided to put her hand inside her diaper just to check. Claire looked disgusted but didn’t say a word to her amazon co-worker. “She’s dry.” Tracy’s response was all that Kimberly needed to continue onward. Claire took a deep breath, any moment she was going to be in the schools executive office, filled with highly important amazon individuals. She had no idea how things were going to go. 'Still something does feel off, but I can't get a feel on what it is. Maybe it's all because I'm wearing a damn diaper. It certainly isn't hypnotism, otherwise I wouldn't be able to think like this, plus my way of speaking would be slurred. I've seen it way to many times with all the portal littles that end up being regressed against their will.' Claire didn’t have time to consider any other possibilities as she entered a board room with a half dozen other amazons. Though unlike the majority of the amazons in the building, they were all wearing business suits. The typical corporate look that symbolized money and power. Claire could see that she was the focal point of attention as several of the amazons took a moment to glance over at her and Tracy. Though there was one amazon that stood out from the rest and Claire was a bit alarmed by the size of the amazon as she was even taller than the rest. 'That Amazon near the front is one of the tallest I've ever seen, she has to be at least fourteen feet at minimum.' Claire also noticed that her stomach was bulging out, it was apparent that she was pregnant and probably due any week now. She didn't have any features that signified that she was overweight. “Welcome, it’s a pleasure to finally meet with you. I’m Ms. Colbatz, the director of Angels Aspirations. I apologize, I’m just finishing up with a standard meeting with the members of my board. You two are welcome to take a seat at the back, while my associates take their leave.” Claire watched as the amazons began to make their exit. It became apparent that they were not staying for the meeting, and while that did give Claire an immense sense of relief, it made her curious about the presentation she and Tracy were to give. She assumed that their was to be an audience. “Thank you for seeing us, I understand that you have had an interest in forming a business relationship with our company Diamond Tours. My name is Tracy and the little that I'm holding is..." "Claire, I'm fully aware about you two. So introductions are not needed, but I appreciate the thought." Claire could see that the amazon woman was brimming with confidence as someone in her position would be. "Before we begin, I do have a quick question." Tracy asked as she kept a firm grip on Claire. “Go ahead.” “Will this presentation only be involving the three of us? I assumed that this type of meeting was going to have more eyes and ears." Claire was thankful that Tracy was asking the questions, she didn't want to be the focal point, even if their was only a handful of people around. The last thing she wanted was to be paraded around by a bunch of giants that saw her as a useless baby. “The board mainly deals with the internal financial logistics, so they are not required with my meeting with you two. Consider this more of a interview of sorts. I wanted to see first hand if the employees of Diamond Tours would be willing to cooperate with our strict dress code and ethics. Claire felt a knot in her gut as Ms. Colbatz gave a devious look at her, she knew that she was a amazon of a different caliber. “After speaking with my associate, Kimberly, it would seem that affiliating our school with your company would definitely workout for the both of us in many ways depending on how we can reach an agreement on certain contract regulations. ” Ms. Colbatz casually walked over and took Claire from Tracy’s hands. Claire was alarmed but kept her cool, not wanting to show any signs of weakness. 'This giant could easily crush me with just one hand.' While Claire knew that her life wasn't in any real danger, she had rarely been around an amazon of such a size. The only one that came close to Ms. Colbatz’s height was her close friend and co-worker, Aisha and even then, she was at best, thirteen feet tall. Claire also noticed that Ms. Colbatz had a similar slightly dark skin tone like Aisha. It made Claire reminisce about her most trusted amazon friend. She underestimated how much of a security blanket she was. “I’m pleased to finally meet with you Claire, I’ve heard much about you and the reputation that you have built for yourself. First off, I want to thank you for wearing a diaper and our schools onesie to this meeting. I fully understand that you are toilet trained, but as you are well aware, this meeting is mainly for presentation purposes.” “Ugh… No problem, I guess…Thank you for your…Consideration…Ms. Colbatz.” Claire felt so small while in the amazon’s clutches. There was nothing she could do but play along nicely. She didn't have much to say as she didn't have any investment in the meeting. She was only their because it was her job, a job that she planned to to step away from in a few weeks. "I know this place may seem a bit...Overwhelming but I assure that you are completely safe in this building." Ms. Colbatz began to walk away with Claire and then opened a door to another room, catching both Claire and Tracy off-guard. “Umm, Ms. Colbatz, where exactly are you taking my partner?” Tracy asked with concern. “I want to have a private discussion with Claire, if you two don’t mind. Kimberly will finish up with the paperwork with you. To tell you the truth, the presentation wasn't really required, you two have already proved yourselves and I had already acquired enough info to know that this partnership with Diamond Tours would be beneficial for the both of us.” Claire felt goosebumps around her body as she was carried into an unknown room where anything could happen. 'If this amazon wanted to adopt me, given her status and connections, she could easily accomplish that...Fuck!' Clair knew right then that their was a hidden agenda to this meeting. Tracy didn't say anything but she was obviously disappointed that the presentation was pretty much put aside even though the school director had already given her approval to go ahead with the contract negotiations. "Now then, Ms Tracy, if you would please take a seat right beside me, we can discuss the specifics on the contract agreement and go over some of the finer elements." Kimberly stated as she took a seat. Tracy was concerned for Claire's well-being, but she knew that their was nothing she could do except focus on the initiative in front of her. After taking a seat right next to Kimberly, Tracy looked over some of the paperwork given to her and also had a question. “Umm. Ms. Kimberly, did you know about this from the very beginning? And if so, why did you hide it from us?” Tracy asked “I do apologize, this is how my boss usually operates and I just follow her orders, no questions asked. She always likes to throw a curveball when it comes to business operations. All I can tell you is that she decided on this change as soon as she heard that your portal little partner would be tagging along. She seemed very curious and interested in Claire." “Just to let you know, even though I work directly with Claire, she is not employed by Diamond Tours, she is actually contracted by a vendor company called Onyx Logistics . We currently do not employ any portal littles within our company, so keep in mind that she cannot legally forced to be adopted or transferred as a student of this school." “Do not worry, while I’m not exactly sure as to what my boss has planned for Claire, I can guarantee that she will be treated kindly and given the hospitality that is known by our prestigious school." Tracy wasn't sure if that was a warning sign for her portal little co-worker or if she was just over thinking the worst case scenario. Claire looked at the pacifier hanging from her neck, she couldn't help but want to suckle on it, to ease the anxiety that she was feeling at the moment. Ms. Colbatz noticed Claire's predicament and smiled as she carried her over to her desk. “So, tell me Claire, what's your opinion on that lovely pacifier?” Ms. Colbatz asked while gently patting Claire’s head and sitting the portal little down right on top of her desk. The amazon took in her chair as she turned her attention to a laptop near her. “It’s…Alright… I guess…” Claire wasn’t sure on how to respond. She definitely didn’t want to say something negative about it. The truth was that she found it to be quite enjoyable for some unknown reason. “That’s reassuring to hear. Speaking of which, would you be kind enough and put the soother back into your mouth for a few minutes? It's only so I can finish a report on my laptop? Then we can discuss business.” Claire had many questions for Ms. Colbatz but felt a giddy sense of joy of being able to use her pacifier again, so she plopped it back into her mouth shortly after receiving the amazon's request. 'Ahh, much better. I feel like nothing could go wrong now!' Claire closed her eyes, enjoying every moment as she suckled on the infantile item, unaware that Ms. Colbatz was keeping a keen eye on her. A few minutes later Ms. Colbatz put her laptop away and then patted Claire on her head, grabbing the littles attention. “I understand from the data that I have gathered, that you are quite the opportunist and are looking for more financial flexibility, is that correct?” Claire was slight caught off guard as Ms. Colbatz asked her a question, she was about to remove her pacifier until the amazon gently grabbed Claire's. "It's okay, you can continue to use your paci. Any questions that I ask can simply be answered by a nod of a yes or a no, can you do that?" Ms. Colbatz asked as she released her grip on Claire's arm. Claire quietly nodded her head in agreement, unable to hide the small blush on her face. 'This feels very unorthodox, just what does this amazon want?' Claire suddenly felt the urge to use the toilet. It wasn’t dire, but she knew that if she didn’t speak up soon, her diaper would soon become her toilet. A common fate that befell most littles. For the next few minutes, Claire simply responded to several of Ms. Colbatz questions with a nod if she agreed or disagreed. It almost felt like she was being interviewed for a new job, based on all the personal questions that were being said. There didn't appear to be any red flags until Ms. Colbatz brought up her next question. “Based on your prior work experience, I understand that you wish to be seen as equal to our kind. Interestingly enough, I have a few proposals that could be intriguing to you…” Claire knew that she only had to nod her head in disagreement, their was nothing that the amazon could say that would deter her from staying in the amazon dimension for longer than she had to. “How would you feel for working for us, directly? We would easily be capable of doubling or even triple the amount of income that you are currently making with Onyx Logistics. Your job would involve you working as a teachers assistant. So you would be personally helping out with the majority of the students in this school and making sure that everything is set in order. Pull-ups would be mandatory so you wouldn’t be allowed to wear your adult underwear anymore, but that doesn't mean you would be forced to wear diapers, that is only exclusive to our students. Of course you would be given legal protection from adoption but unlike your current position, you would have room to grow with our company. For example, you could potentially end up on my board of directors, which would mean that you could bring some real change for your kind. How does that sound?" Claire actually took a moment to consider the proposal, the idea of an even greater income plus the ability for growth was something that she greatly lacked with Onyx Logistics. 'But then that would mean that I would have to wear pull-ups on a full-time basis. Just how long would that last until I end up in diapers again?' Claire patted her butt, giving herself a reminder of the dangers of the amazon dimension. The perks were nice but the negatives far outweighed the positives. She had already decided to put in her two weeks notice, she was done with this dimension, plus she wanted to focus her remaining efforts on helping Chloe with her sister. The last thing she needed was something to distract her from her core objective. So Claire took a moment to look up at the amazon and slowly nodded her head that she wasn't interested while still suckling on the soother. “I see, that’s rather unfortunate, but it is your decision and only yours to make. Though there is one more proposal I would like to offer you, it is something that is only given to a select group of littles. Keep an open mind when I discuss this with you." Claire felt goosebumps around her body as she awaited for the proposal, she knew that no matter what it was, she would decline. The longer she stayed in the amazon world, the greater the chance that she could end up becoming a permanent resident. “Have you ever considered becoming a amazon yourself?” The question only confused Claire as she looked up at the director with curiosity. “Let me explain, right now there is a very special government program that has just been opened for limited use.So it’s not widely known to the general public, but it is a program that we are considering on expanding depending on the long term results within the next decade." Ms. Colbatz pressed her hand on her stomach which made a shiver go down Claire's spine. 'Become a freaking amazon!? That's not possible! I've never heard of any technology that can accomplish that, besides, wouldn't that hinder the amount of littles that the amazons could adopt?' “To simplify my explanation, basically it involves a little being put back into the womb, or specifically the womb of an amazonian for the next few months as their genetic makeup is changed permanently. But the end goal is to allow a little for evolve into one of our kind. You would be administered several types of drugs before entering the womb, as the procedure is still considered highly experimental, though we have already had a few successful procedures this past year. This program can only be worked on by amazonians that are of my size, and as you can see, I’m an example of one that has agreed to partake in the program.” Claire felt like her soul was about to leave her body. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was something like out of a horror movie. Ms. Colbatz grabbed Claire’s hand and pressed it onto her stomach, which made Claire realize what Ms. Colbatz was trying to show her. “I currently have a precious little inside me as we speak. In a few weeks, she will be ready to come out and be reborn as an amazonian. Isn’t our technology just wondrous Claire? You no longer have to worry about being seen as a hindrance to our kind, instead you could become one of us." 'What the hell...Jesus!' While Claire found the amazonian world to be quite fascinating at when she first arrived but after seeing many of her co-workers end up in diapers and eventually adopted, she knew that staying around any longer would only put herself in danger. Especially with the regulation changes in the city laws. “What do you think Claire? I personally wouldn’t mind being your host for your rebirth.” Ms. Colbatz 'words were so horrifying that Claire didn’t realize that she had just wet her diaper. The disposable undergarment grew warmer by the second. Claire quickly nodded her head in disagreement, not hiding the fear on her face. She couldn't believe that something like this was allowed to happen, it felt wrong on so many levels. “I see…I guess some littles prefer a more... Care-free life. Hopefully you will be able to find someone that can properly take good care of you when the times comes." 'Ya, not gonna happen, in a few weeks I'll be out of this dimension and while I won't have the financial requirements to retire just yet, at least I won't have to worry about becoming someone's plaything.' As Ms. Colbatz got up from her desk, she then scooped Claire up by her butt, she soon then realized the critical mistake she had just made within her diaper. 'NO...NO WAY, that's not possible!' Claire thought it was just some mental relapse and that the warmth in her diaper was just only her sweat. She knew that she had perfect control of her bladder muscles and that using a diaper for it's intended purpose was almost like a death sentence in the amazon dimension. “I guess it’s a good thing for the both of us, that you wore some protection to our meeting, otherwise we would have quite the mess on our hands, haha.” Ms. Colbatz stated as Claire was in a state of shock. She couldn't fathom as to how she could have actually had an accident. Ms. Colbatz then carried the very stunned Claire out of her personal office and back into the executive room where Tracy and Kimberly were waiting. Claire slowly turned her head and noticed that Tracy was already back in the clothing that was wearing earlier. 'Just how long was I in that room for? It didn't feel like it was longer than fifteen minutes at most!' Claire noticed a clock on the wall and realized that a hour had passed since she was escorted by Ms. Colbatz into her personal office. Claire felt as if everything was coming down around her, including her perception on time. She wanted to vent her frustration but the only way she could do that was by suckling on her pacifier even more so. "I trust that everything went smoothly, Kimberly?" Ms. Colbatz asked as she handed Claire over to Tracy. "It didn't take long at all, we managed to find many mutual agreements on the proposal, now all we need is for the director of Diamond Tours to sign off on our deal and then we can move forward." Kimberly stated. "What's wrong Claire, you look a bit shaken up, did some...!!!" Tracy soon realized why Claire appeared to be very self conscious as she could feel the warmth coming from her diaper. Even the onesie couldn't hide the noticeable difference as the diaper expanded. “Ahh...Don't worry Claire, this won't change anything with us, so rest assured that nothing bad will happen to you. ” Claire lowered her head, feeling immensely embarrassed by the accident she had personally caused. She had done so much to prove that she could be seen as an equal to the amazons, but after one incident, she felt that all her hard work had been nullified. It didn't matter if Tracy was being courteous, she had never felt so vulnerable before. "Tracy was it? I had a wonderful time with my personal meeting with Claire, however it appears that she is in dire need of a change, I trust that can handle that? As director of the school, my time is valuable so I won't be able to stay around and chat as I need to make my daily rounds and check up on my teachers." “Of…Of course…” Tracy felt a bit bad for Claire. She always respected her co-worker for how far she had come as a portal little. She knew that her accident was most likely influenced by the soother in her mouth. Though she had no intention of speaking up about it as she also felt that Claire needed more proper guidance in her life. “Ms. Colbatz, before you go, here are the signed documents. Please go ahead and review them when you have the time." Kimberly handed the paperwork over to her boss before she was about to exit the room. “Good work everyone. Today is definitely a day for all of us to remember. Now then, if you will excuse me." Ms. Colbatz waved her goodbyes as she went about her daily duties. "She's quite the person, I don't think I could handle something so...Strenuous." Tracy said as she placed Claire over her shoulder while patting her soiled diapered butt. 'This is so god damn humiliating! Once I'm out of here, I'll pretend like this day never happened!' “It's not a job for everyone. Now then, if you two will follow me, I’ll escort you two towards the entrance. A vehicle will be waiting to drive you back to your headquarters .” Kimberly stated. “Umm…Before we go, can we atleast allow Claire to get herself changed first? She is still wearing your school’s onesie afterall.” Tracy asked as she tried to be of some help to her co-worker. Claire continued to remain quiet, knowing that anything she said or did would only bring attention to herself. 'If this accident is reported to the higher ups, I could be put on a probation period which would mean that I would be required to wear diapers for the next few weeks...Shit! Why did this have to happen! in one of the worst places possible?' “If it’s to change your co-workers diaper, then that will be fine, however since she has had an accident while on school grounds, she will be required to remain in a one for the rest of her time here and that is not negotiable. Also, like with the pacifier, Claire will be allowed to keep the onesie, as a gift for visiting our school.” Tracy looked at Claire, wondering if she had had any qualms about the gifts, however Claire kept her attention away from Tracy, as she was still severely embarrassed by her actions. Tracy sighed as she decided to take action and do what she thought was best. “If you have any spare diapers for Claire, I’ll get her changed right away.” Claire looked up at Tracy with a look of disbelief. While she was relieved that she would no longer be in a wet diaper,the idea of having to wear another one, was far from ideal. Claire was about to remove the pacifier from her mouth until Tracy gently slapped her hand, keeping the pacifier in her mouth. “You can remove it once we are on our way back, okay? If you try to remove it again, you are going over my knee, understand!” Claire quickly nodded her head in agreement, she had never been so afraid of Tracy before. She didn’t know why but she felt compelled to obey her command. The idea of being spanked by her co-worker sounded like a fate worse than death. 'This is so unfair, why do I feel so scared, it's not right!' Claire soon found herself on a changing table in a public restroom. She never felt so helpless as Tracy removed the snaps to her onesie and began to remove her soiled diaper. Up until now, she viewed Tracy as an amazon that she could at least trust to a certain degree. She never saw her as someone that could be considered threatening, but all of a sudden, it was like Tracy had become an overwhelming figure that could not be denied. 'if Aisha were here, perhaps this wouldn't be happening.' Claire began to think about her most trustworthy friend and co-worker and felt an elated sense of ease. Tracy could see that Claire had a smile on her face and mistook it for the clean new diaper that was about to be put on her. 'Adoption is definitely the best option for Claire, she has done more than enough for her kind. I think it's time that she let herself go and embrace the life of infancy.' Tracy began to think of a scenario where she could adopt Claire as well. She knew that Sally would be overjoyed to have a sister to tag along with. After having Claire's butt cleaned and then having some baby powder applied to her privates, Tracy secured the new diaper on her co-worker, she then buttoned up Claire’s onesie and then carefully carried her out of the school building where a car was waiting to pick them up. "See Claire, it's all over now. No more icky wicky wetty diapies for you!" Tracy kissed Claire on the cheek before waving her goodbyes to Kimberly. As the two of them took a seat in the back vehicle, Tracy requested to keep Claire on her lap during the ride back their building. 'Damn it, Tracy is going now acting on her maternal instincts, it's time that I snapped her out of it.' Claire removed her pacifier as she being cradled by Tracy, she needed to stop the endless baby treatment she was receiving. “Tracy! Just because I wet a diaper doesn't mean that I deserve to be treated like an infant! You know me better than most, I only went along with this farce because I didn't want to be on the wrong side of that etiquette school. And most importantly, why the hell was I even brought their if a presentation wasn't needed. I'm sure that you understand that as well. All that preparation we went through was just thrown out of the window, such a load of crap, I tell you that....HMPH!" Claire soon found her mouth silenced but not by the pacifier but rather a baby bottle filled with milk. "Claire, I need you to calm down, so please enjoy this bottle of milk until we get back to the building. I was saving this for Sally but I can always nurse her when I get back home, so it's a win-win." Claire began to fidget around and remove the bottle from her mouth, however Tracy quickly slapped Claire on her thigh, warning the girl that if she continued, she would soon have a very red rear-end. "If you continue this behavior Clair, I will also request to the higher-ups to have you remain in diapers indefinitely and perhaps put a petition in to adopt you myself, is that what you want?" Tracy’s words felt like having a knife around her neck. Claire quietly nodded her head that she would oblige without question. 'I can't reason with Tracy when she's like this. I just have to endure until we get back.' Claire reluctantly began to suckle down on the bottle while in the arms of the amazon. Claire soon found a creamy substance enter her mouth which invigorated her taste buds, it was a substance that entranced her to the point that she couldn't stop indulging in. 'What is this stuff? Milk? I've never had anything like it and I can't have enough of it. What have I been missing!?' Claire slowly closed her eyes as she began to feel more at peace with herself while downing the liquid substance. 'Looks like Claire has taken quite the interest in my breast milk, can't say that I'm not surprised. Any little, whether they are native or portal, always enjoy the milk we amazons produce. Once you are finished, I'll allow you to speak. But I just want to let you know that I personally believe you would be happier if you were adopted. Are you sure that I can't convince you to become my daughter? You and Sally would definitely get along quite well while under my care." Claire quickly finished the bottle off so she could speak up which surprised Tracy. "If I really wanted a mommy of my own, I would only take Aisha and no one else!" Claire yelled out while some of the milk was going down her chin. Tracy smiled at how cute Claire looked, even though she was obviously frustrated. "And don't put any words in my mouth, Ima big girl that can do big girl things!" Claire stopped for a moment to reflect on the way she was talking. It didn't sound normal, she believed that she was sounding like a irritable child. "Something wrong Claire?" Tracy asked as she wiped away some of the milk that was dripping on her chin. "Can...Can I please take this diaper off now?" “Once we get back to the building, you will have my permission to do so, until then...” Tracy then grabbed Claire's pacifier and gently placed it back into her mouth. Claire smiled as she felt her body becoming weaker and her eyelids becoming heavier. 'What was I angry about again? I don't remember now.' Sleep soon consumed Claire as she was nestled in the arms of her amazon peer. "You are such a precious little, it would be a shame if you were adopted by the wrong amazon. Perhaps I'll inform Aisha about what we discussed, hehe." Tracy brushed Claire's hair as they continued their trip back. * * * * * * * * * * * “Ms. Colbatz, now that the meeting is adjourned, can you please explain to me as to why you requested that portal little to come along to the meeting? We could have easily approved the contract with Diamond Tours via signatures.” KImberly asked, curious as to why her boss wanted a face to face meeting. “If you really need to know, it’s because I was requested by a family member of mine. She wanted Claire to become more passive via the new prototype pacifiers that our company has created." “Based on past results, that portal little will start growing more dependent on the soother, which should make her even more docile. I assume that your family member wishes to eventually adopt Claire? Kimberly asked as she followed her boss down the halls of the multiple classrooms that held many littles, both portal and native. “That is correct, my niece is very much interested in adopting Claire and requested that I help speed up the process. To be truthful, I would have not done so if Claire agreed to work for us or requested to go under the rebirth program, but alas, Claire declined both offers. I’m kind of disappointed but also happy for my niece. Hopefully I’ll hear good news from her later this week and be able to see Claire in a more suitable environment.” Ms. Colbatz began to greet some of the teachers and see how the progress was going within her school. “Slow and steady wins the race.”

I really wish I could come up with a fast and easy way to become a real bedwetter for those who want to get here. I doubt that exists. The unpredictability of the results of things like drinking more fluids shortly before bedtime is unfortunate. But we do know the basics: 1 - You have to be diapered in such a way that leaks are of zero concern. Otherwise, you will wake up if you do get the urge to pee while in bed. 2 - You have to be diapered in such a way that if your diapers get wet while you’re still awake, you will still not be worried about leaks. 3 - Going to bed wet helps some people. 4 - It takes time to develop a new habit — and that varies from person to person. 5 - You need to stay with it. Develop a routine that encourages bedwetting. 6 - Look at sites that purport to offer advice on stopping bedwetting and consider doing the opposite. 7 - Did I say staying with it? Even though I had a natural head start, my bedwetting became even more frequent because I pursued some of the stuff above. 8 - Does going 24/7 help? I don’t know. 9 - Once you get started, don’t decide that “oh, this time it’s not convenient so I’ll get up just this once and head for the restroom.” That reinforces the idea that you still have control which is the opposite of what you’re trying to do. 10 - Watch your food and fluid intakes with an eye to what is likely to cause bedwetting. 11 - When you do wet yourself in bed, treat it likes it’s no big deal — just something that happens that’s out of your control. It’s not hard to imagine others like @Enthusi have valuable tips to add to this. Info coming from those who started from scratch rather than someone like me who at least had an unfair advantage going into this could be a real encouragement. Good luck!

Reborn as the Tragic First Boss who Dies to Set the Hero on His Path? No Thanks. I’ma gonna stay in my Nursery! By Inku Hime inc_himitsu@hotmail.com Chapter 1 Concern and perhaps a little fear laced the man’s voice, making it seem that the concern was a sham. “There is no medical reason for this condition, I will continue to research it, but at the moment, My Lady, I must beg for forgiveness, for there is no medical explanation.” A reply suggested umbrage, for with some sputtering, another man said, “My Lady, there is no magical reason for this either. No curse nor spell has been laid; it is neither illusion nor transformation nor changeling switch. The answer will not be found in the mystical arts.” Had the first man perhaps pointed at the second when he delivered his diagnosis? Was that why the second sounded so angry? There were tears, anger, exhaustion, and steel in the woman’s voice. “If not physical or mystical, how do you explain my daughter’s condition?” She nearly screamed. Silence. A silence so heavy it was uncomfortable. A cry sounded, breaking the silence. The woman said, “Colleen, see about the child.” “Yes, My Lady,” another woman said, tone differential and quiet. Things shifted in the room as if it all flipped around and grew warmer. The crying stopped. It oozed, the voice of the next speaker, like molasses poured on a white baking sheet. “If you will excuse me, My Lady, if neither physical nor mystical, could it not be spiritual?” “Spiritual? What do you mean?” The woman’s tone was snappish. One could almost picture the man bowing his head down low. “If neither physical ailment nor mystical curse, then perhaps a blessing from on high?” Blessing? Blessing? Blessing? Blessing? Why did that word echo like that? Why did it fall like a rock in a still pond? “A blessing?” The woman called ‘My Lady’ said in a tone that suggested she was keeping a scream in by the force of will alone. “You call this a blessing?” “Who can know the minds of the gods, My Lady.” The voice still oozed, the once clean baking sheet now halfway covered in dirty brown. Would it cover it all? Of course, it would. Molasses was slow, but it was persistent. And enough of it could be fatal. “That is ridiculous!” “But, My Lady, does not the Goddess Gaia love all children? Did not the poet Cathal say…” “I know the poems of bloody Cathal! If rain were Gaia’s damnable tears cried whenever a child grows up, it would be raining every damned day!” Gaia? Gaia? Gaia? Gaia? The word, a name, was uncomfortable, itchy, cold. “Still, My Lady, might we send for an expert? One who can intercede for us with the gods?” “I have little time for the church and its servants. I only put up with you because of my Husband. Don’t try my patience.” The heavy silence again. Then the man of magic spoke. “My Lady, please, consider it.” The man of science spoke. “If only to rule it out. Then Nial and I will redouble our efforts.” “You did not redouble them already?” “We will push ourselves beyond human bounds; we will not rest until we have an answer.” “It is as he says, My Lady.” Science and magic made friends. That pairing was fluffy and warm. Silence again but for soft murmurings from the woman called Colleen. Then the lady spoke. “Contact the Church, and let them know that I will not have them in this house for longer than needed.” “Of course, My Lady.” And the white sheet was stained brown. “I shall send for Father Raphael immediately.” Raphael? Raphael? Raphael? Raphael? If the word ‘Blessing’ has been itchy, this word was like fire. Again there was crying, and Colleen’s murmurings grew louder. “Let us go and leave Colleen to quiet her. Surely all our voices are upsetting the child,” the lady said. Likely they all left. Father Raphael. Hate. I put a word to the burning feeling. Hate. And like puzzle pieces coming together, I saw part of the picture. Envision, if you will, a puzzle, its pieces all dumped out at random, face up, on a flat surface. That was my mind, is my mind. Chaos. Now imagine that the surface is a vibrating tray and that the pieces all begin to move, sliding around. Chaos that makes you seasick if you try to stare at it for too long. But if it is your mind, you can not help but stare at it. Pieces move around, bumping into each other, gathering together and then splitting apart. But sometimes you see, several related pieces drift close together, and you see that, and you think something like, ‘Oh, that’s a cow’. But then the parts split apart, and you can no longer see that cow, and you do not even remember what a…. What was I thinking? Something about an animal? Animal? Animal? Animal? And so it goes. Chaos. But then something happens as the puzzle pieces dance around in their mad jig. Two pieces come together, and the tab jiggles into the blank, and now two parts are one, joined together, joining the dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. A bigger piece moving about the tray. It has gravity, and it engenders a different sort of chaos. A bully on the playground demanding everyone play their game. But other pieces slip together, tab and blank, another source of gravity on the tray. Order is being enforced on chaos. Does any of this make sense? Maybe? In time there are many of these joined pieces. More than two? Many more than two. They are made up of two parts, and more than two parts and then are recognizable. So now I see that cow, and it never comes apart, and I know what a cow is, and I know what milk is because it comes from a cow. That is not much to know. But I know it. Not that there is a cow. Well, there must be because I know what a cow is. Or that could be because there is a farm, and a cow is on a farm. I don’t know. And if I look at it too much, I get that seasick feeling. Is there a boat? Is that why I know what a seasick feeling is? Itching and burning and cold. I can’t think too much on it. But there is a set of pieces for Father Raphael. Or a set of pieces for hate. And I know that I hate Father Raphael. I know that he is my enemy. And I know that I must not go to the church, for if I do, my fate is sealed. I just don’t know what that fate is. And other than being a word that is itchy and cold, I am not sure what a church is. I am pretty sure it is not a cow. Not really sure why I think of cows so much. Maybe because of the milk? “You know that they say Father Raphael could become the High Priest.” The voice belongs to Colleen, and whenever I hear it, the world is warm and soft. However, this time, and those words, are itchy, spikey, cold. And on the vibrating tray, the puzzle pieces find their mates. Click. Click. Click. “You best not talk like that, Colleen. You know what the Viscountess thinks of the church.” Click. “I’d never speak against our Lady, but I worry about her feud with the Church.” Click. Click. “Worry? Why?” There was a feeling of the world shifting, and Colleen said, “I suppose because I think that she’ll never be able to go back.” “That won’t bother our Lady. Even if they throw her out and declare her an enemy of the church, you know she’ll just grab that big sword of hers and dare them to do something.” CLICK. I started crying, howling, and Colleen, who held me in her arms as she had been breastfeeding me, asked, “What’s wrong ShiShi?” What was wrong? What was wrong? There was a metaphorical puzzle in my baby brain that was coming together, and the meat in my small head could not easily contain it. It hurt. It might have been actual physical pain as my brain was being shredded. It might have been psychosomatic or hysterical because I was having an existential crisis. Click. Ouch. So what was wrong, Colleen, my dear wet nurse? Where do I start? I’ve been reborn, and I am now a baby. Somehow for some reason, the knowledge of my past life (well, some of it, at least) has been crammed into the tiny mind of said baby, and I don’t think it should have been. Oh, and if that was not bad enough, my future is dark and horrible things will happen to me. Then I will be killed for some reason that I think is really stupid. Click. Ouch. Click. Ouch. Click. Ouch. So that is what is wrong, Colleen, but as I can’t seem to even talk, I’m going to have a bloody hard time telling you! I poop my diaper at that moment, and it fills up with warm mush pressed against the too-sensitive skin of my bottom. Oh, for the love of… That’s it. I’m done. Go away, you stupid puzzle. I’m just a baby, and I’m gonna cry. And so I do. Time passes as it does when you are a baby trying to deny reality. I sleep, eat, and mess my diapers. That’s a baby’s job, you know? And I am serious about my job. Colleen and another nursemaid (whose name I do not know at the moment, so call her breastfeed me, and I nurse without a single complaint. The stuff is great, my baby brain tells me, and I don’t argue. And I fill my diapers without thought. That is the honest truth. I don’t think about it. One moment my diapers are dry, and another, they are wet and cold, and there is a load in the seat, and I’m crying, and I certainly don't recall wetting and messing them. When I sleep, I dream baby dreams, but I also remember things. In the unconscious world, the puzzle intrudes, but as pieces come together, it doesn't hurt. Well, maybe it does. I do hear the nursery maids talking about me and how I whimper in my sleep. I have good reason, you know? I’m not having nightmares about… what would babies have nightmares about? I am holding the bars of my crib, standing on the mattress, and looking out at my nursery. It is mostly empty now; an older woman (white hair and wrinkles old) is sitting in a rocking chair, perhaps napping. A younger woman, maybe a teenager, one of the nursery maids, is cleaning up, stocking cabinets, and looking over at me every now and then. What? Do you want to fight or something? No, probably not. Just keeping an eye on the baby. The weird baby. I figure most babies don’t act like me, but is there a baby in the world like me? No, there is not. And that is significant. I guess I need to work this out. I am four years old, but if you look at me, you would think I was probably around one year. My mother, the Viscountess, sent for doctors and wizards and has been trying to find out what is wrong with me. And after much research and study, magic and science could not answer her question. Which is why oozy wants someone from the church to take a look at me. Oh, I am Shivaun, ShiShi to the maids. Shivaun Hefferun. And in the series of novels called the Seven Roses and Seven Thorns (there are over fifty of them!) Shivaun Hefferun is the first boss of the first book, and she dies in the very first chapter. I mean, what is up with that? Being reborn as a villain or the last boss is one thing, but as a character who does not even make it out of the first chapter? Is there a god who did this? I would like to complain. “What’s the matter ShiShi? Have you pooped yourself?” Thoughts like water thrown on a hot surface, skittering around and poofing away. The nursery maid picked me up and checked my diaper, and I was all anger and tears. How dare she just pick me up and accuse me of pooping myself. How dare she pat my messy diaper and push the itchy mucky muck against my bum. So I cried and cried cause that is all I could do. At least until my diaper was changed and I was put into my crib. Thinking and crying and pooping were so exhausting. I fell asleep. Should I have teeth? I am not sure when babies start teething. I am chewing on a soft rubbery ring thing, drooling. It is incredible how enjoyable chewing on something can be, the soft squish between my gums. I guess the one good thing about not having teeth is that no one seriously thought to wean me. Other than the occasional bowl of something gross and mushy, it is breast milk daily. Chewy thing in my mouth, drool on my chin, thinking about when I next got to nurse. Being a baby is great. Wait, no. It is terrible. Remember. First boss and dead before the first chapter. All the boob milk in the world does not make up for that. But I got to think about the Seven Roses and Seven Thorns and the first book, ‘The Church Thorn’ because I am going to die in chapter one. Well, assuming that this is the world of the books. I chew and drool and notice my diaper is wet and warm. As it will soon be cold and clammy, and I’ll be just thinking of that and crying, I better try to get my thoughts together while I can. Seven Roses and Thorns starts with a swordsman named Conan. Not that barbarous guy; I guess he was ripped off from another Conan who was bald and hairy or something? No, don’t get distracted, baby brain. Stay on task. Chew on the rubbery thing and let me do the real work. Conan was a magical swordsman, I guess you’d call him. Young and idealistic in chapter 1. He comes to the realm’s capital city to make his name and fortune just in time to see large swaths of it, the city, not his fortune, being destroyed. Everyone is fleeing, shouting out confusing things about a monster attacking the church, trying to kill the Saint of Gaia. Being a heroic type of fellow, Conan runs into danger. He fights through disaster and puppet monsters, horrible creatures described as moving like something in a nightmare. There were also depraved demons stalking the city, killing and torturing the citizens. It was all exhilarating. He had been joined by a couple of other want-to-be heroes by then. Margreg, the sorceress and Colm, the archer. The three of them fight their way to the middle of the church and discover that the monster is the Saint of Gaia, a little baby throwing a tantrum, tossing out magic of incredibly destructive power and ripping open holes in time and space through which demons come. Can you imagine my surprise when I read that? The saint was a baby, the first boss was a baby. Who does that? I’ve grown bored with the chewy ring and let it fall. I’m squirming a little, crawling on the padded floor of my playpen, looking at some of the toys within. Baby brain is getting bored and becoming aware of a cooling diaper. I don’t have much time. Conan, Margreg, and Colm try their best to calm the baby. Margreg is almost killed when she grabs the baby and hugs it to her incredible bosoms (not my words, or the author’s, I suppose, but look at the novel’s cover art. They were huge!) saying that she, the baby, future me, will be safe. But the first boss is inconsolable, and she blasts poor Margreg away. In the end, the half-dead Conan does the unthinkable and kills the Saint of Gaia. Again think of how shocked you’d be in reading that. First the boss is an adorable baby, and then the hero of the piece kills that baby. I mean, tough man making tough choices kind of story. Some people threw the book away at that point, but most, like me, were intrigued enough by chapter one to continue. So, if I am named a saint by this Father Raphael (hate him), I am going to die. I have to stop that! I need to fight my fate! I must find a way to keep from being named a saint. I want my diaper changed. Diaper? Darn it! And then I’m crying, and who has time to think of fighting fate. Baby’s diapee is cold and clammy! Change me!

Just a question about pooping .if you are wearing a nappy / diaper a disposable one .and you do dot poop in then at all just wondering how do you go about it . Do you take your nappy /diaper of and then put a fresh one on .or pull it down like a pull up nappy / diaper .just wondering how other people do it .thanks

Hi. New adult baby here.

Oh heck, sorry about that. I'll get someone to pick that up. HELLO. I'm Jasmine Starshine, but I also go by Jazzie (They/Them or She/Her)! I've been in the scene for a *very* long time and I'm just now getting on DD after years of procrastination! A little about me, I'm a freelance audio engineer, host of the Dear Jazzie podcast, and a 2 y/o babyfur! I have lots of hobbies and projects on the side, including painting Warhammer models, writing stories, reading, and cooking! I'm not nearly as much of a gamer as I used to be, but I've been known to at least open Steam everyone once-in-a-while! In my kink life, my husband and I have explored a *wide* array of fetishes, but my primary interests outside of ABDL are inflatables, BDSM, wax, fire, RACK play, and more! I'm not sure how active I'll be just yet, but I missed being a member of a forum, so here I am!

I'm Incontinent and AB. My whole family knows I am Incontinent and AB. Even my mother and doctors know I am Incontinent and an adult baby. They treat me as an adult baby.

Another edit of Ms. Alba rocking our favourite attire!

James didn’t wanna go to the park he hated his hair in a ponytail as he knew others were looking at him.. He saw a girl do a double take like one would do if they saw a good looking guy or girl but now they were doing to just out of is that real what I just saw! “Pweae mommy wome!” He whined. He just wanted to go home and get changed.. ”No I wanna go to the park maybe mommy brought you some dolls to play with.. ”Wo won’t have any walls!” He said behind his pacifier that he don’t have any dolls but his speech with the pacifier and him doing his baby talk well made it even more baby talk! He already knew his mommy was going to let Zack have his way which she did.. James sat there sucking his pacifier Of course he would wanna go to the park he’s not the one wearing a wet diaper and baby clothes with a ponytail that looks real sissyish.. He thought to himself..

I know someone exactly like Daffy in the morning?. I'm guessing the party will be ?

It's definitely not totally out of the question. I have a book under another pen name I'm desperately trying to finish before getting to LCW. After that I have another forever project that I may try and get done first, but after that... it's definitely something I'm considering. As I was editing this it definitely seemed like something I could consider working on, it's just a matter of getting the time. It would be at least next year before I could start I think. It may happen though! Thanks for your kind words, glad you're enjoying it again! ?

“Well let’s get you ready for swimming “ cooed Gwen. “Daddy got you all dirty.” Cooed Gwen as she picked up Gracie. “Daddy will get you mermaid toys.” She said as she took you to the restroom. She strips Gracie completely and helped her into the swim diaper. She looked at the pink one piece with stars on it. She helped Gracie in. “Daddy should be outside with your toys.” said Gwen

I’ll admit to being unfamiliar with the universe on which the original EP story was based, but kind of figured this was about the point where changes would be noticeable. Knowing what’s around the bend in “Ireland” does make it interesting reading this time. I love how you build worlds…so easy to imagine and relate to the settings, characters and emotions.

I can’t wait till the Party. I’m very certain a little suby girl is going to end up in time out with a red bottom. The only questions are whether she’ll be arriving in pull ups or diapers and what will she be leaving in, diapers or pull ups and what condition will the be in when she leaves ?

Well with enough lube, things shouldn't rip, but it could happen, and I would think its still pretty safe... as long as you clean out before hand I don't see any issues.

Gracie hit her face in gwene robe when it was mentioned. She liked the soft material on her face it felt like a blanket. " it's soft " she said gwen placing her fingers in her mouth. " yeah swimming " she said excitedly. gracie tummy rumbled when she was given to rye. She didn't quite eat her food yet because she wanted rye to play Abby games with her. " daddy want to make a choo-Choo " she said wanting rye to feed her like a train sound.

Your explanations have gone a long way in helping me to see this awesome story in a new light! (Honestly, for a while, I thought that this was going to be a story about the beginnings of a Littles' civil rights movement, which is also a story idea with lots of potential! Can't wait to see what other twists and turns take place for Clark and the people in his life).

You know what? Fair enough. That Edison one was probably a bad example. Though from what I understand, AC won out mostly because the infrastructure required to use it was cheaper. So those in power were willing to listen. On history, and I do NOT want to get into a debate and this is more or less unrelated to Unfair: I think a better way to look at it is to look at it forwards instead of backwards. Examine everything that happened before that lead up to certain standards and mindsets and ethical codes of conduct. Not as an excuse, but as context and understanding of what might have been going on that lead to a particular way of thinking. I think that "different standards" or "for the time" is dangerous as an excuse to mythologize historical figures by talking about the accomplishments they made while sweeping away the things that wouldn't make them look so good by today's standards. I sincerely hope that future generations will look on us with such wonder and contempt and wonder what was going on in our heads because of how much progress they've made as a society.

Chapter 15 Another Opinion I was taken, bottom half naked, to the bathroom and Aunt Susan put me in the tub to clean me up. She helped me wash everywhere like I was a little kid, and she checked some of the areas on me that concerned her more. Lacey was just getting off the toilet, when Aunt Susan waved her over, and she got in the bath, too. “You babies need to see a doctor today, and Valana will see two doctors, but you might get in to see the second one with your sister,” Aunt Susan told Lacey. “Why I need two doctors?” she asked. “The doctor last week said I was okay. It’s Valana that is hurt bad.” “Yes, honey, but there are other concerns that that doctor can’t help with.” Lacey looked at me. “She’s our Aunt,” I reminded her. “Remember what mom said?” She nodded and sighed. “Okay.” When Lacey and I were down in the kitchen, I heard uncle on the phone. “Yes, I need to take today off.” “….” “I know, but this is very important for my family.” “….” “I understand. Thank you.” Then, uncle was upstairs taking a bath, and Jason and the other cousins were sitting at the table with Lacey and me. I saw Jason looked at me a little differently this morning, and he kept looking at my hands and then at my legs. He knew I had a diaper on, and my arms didn’t pee, so I was wondering what he was looking for, but it seemed he kept looking. I looked down trying to think of how to ask him why he was staring without being rude or mean about it. As I was thinking, I heard water dropping to the floor in a pattern that was hard to mistaken, and I looked over at Lacey, but she was smiling and talking to Jessica. There was no nervous stuttering, no redness in her face, and no shivering in her body movements. But if she didn’t…. I felt my hand under the table feeling around the pink sweats, the crotch area of my pants, but it didn’t feel wet or bulkier than usual. I felt under my thighs, but it wasn’t wet. I had not peed. Lacey had not peed. I looked over at Margaret. Margaret had a light pink face, and she was looking more interested in her food, and seemed to avoid talking. I sighed. She must have wet her pants, and I thought she was going to stop wearing diapers. She said she was tired of diapers on Saturday. Why did she pee her pants at the table? Oh, yeah, we are eating? Maybe it is more polite to not get up at the table, even if Uncle and Aunt were saying it was allowed? I decided not to stare at her and bring her shame to everyone’s attention. It was really embarrassing to wet your pants, especially in a place that would make it more dirty or more embarrassing to others that might care. I would keep her secret. Aunt Susan came in, and she smiled at all of us. “Okay, so your dad took the day off,” she told her kids. “He is going to drop the cousins and me off at the doctor’s office and then take you all to the park for a while. When we finish at the first doctor’s, he might be taking us to a second doctor, and then you will all be taken to get lunch.” The other kids around us nodded. “Now, I know some of you might understand the meaning of the sign for the second doctor, so I want to talk to the whole table about this now.” Everyone was watching Aunt Susan, even Margaret’s pink blush face. There was a faint void in the air, one that wasn’t exactly scary at the moment, but one that started to deafen Aunt Susan’s voice to my ears. I already had an idea of what she might be telling the others, but I did want to know what Margaret and the others would know. The world looked blurry, and I knew that I was going into that void dream again, only this one didn’t have a cold fear to it. It was not peaceful, but it wasn’t scary. I was just slipping away from the normal world for a moment. “The doctor hasn’t found a physical cause for Valana’s problems,” the face of Lacey’s dad was telling my mom. “I don’t know what we are supposed to do! If there is nothing physically wrong with her, then maybe we should seek other kinds of help.” “What other kind of help are you thinking?” “She could see a mental doctor.” “Are you saying that Valana is crazy?” “She might be,” he told mom. He wasn’t shouting. He wasn’t hitting. He was just talking calmly like he was trying to solve a hard problem along with my mom. “The only way we’ll know if she is crazy, is if we have her see someone who can diagnose it.” “Valana knows where she is, though,” my mom told him. “That doesn’t mean she’s not crazy,” he told her. “Some crazy people look normal all the time, but then, boom, something happens, and they are uncontrollable and they don’t know where they are.” “Valana has never been violent though,” my mom defended me. I could barely understand, really, what they were saying at this time, but now, I do remember they had had this conversation before. I think I was younger than seven. “She doesn’t have to be violent to be crazy,” Lacey’s dad said. “Look, she wets her pants, not only at home, but in public, and even in her classroom at times. She poops her pants at the table, and she is always doing stuff that she knows will get her into trouble. That’s not normal, is it?” My mom nodded as he talked, and at the end, answered: “No, I don’t think so.” “So, we are going to have a special counselor talk to Valana, and maybe Lacey to see how much they were hurt,” I heard Aunt Susan wrapping up what she said to the others. I missed it all. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t afraid of Lacey’s dad in this dream, but I felt a little calm in it, and as Susan finished, I saw Lacey looked in down at her lap. “What’s wrong?” Aunt Susan asked her. “Am I crazy?” “No, sweetheart,” Aunt Susan told her. “You are just really hurt, and you and your sister need to talk to someone that can pull you out of your bad experiences and help you make sense of it, so you can better understand yourselves.” I frowned. I barely understood what Aunt Susan said, so I was sure Lacey didn’t. Lacey looked over at me. “Yes, Lacey,” I told her simply. “We are probably crazy, but not in a dangerous way.” She smiled at me and nodded. The visit in the medical clinic didn’t take that long. They mostly just wanted to tell aunt other things they found, things that sort of went over my head and got boring to me. Things that knowing what was wrong, was not going to mean I’d magically stop wetting my pants, so it didn’t matter to me. But my aunt was very interested, so I sat there being a good girl and let them explain to her about me. They also said some other things about Lacey, that again, I wasn’t really sure what they were talking about, but it did make my aunt frown a few times. Then we were whisked away for a car ride to the other clinic that I really wasn’t sure I wanted to go to, but even though I didn’t want to go there, I wanted Lacey next to me, not because I was scared or because I thought Lacey needed this, but because I was scared of what would happen to her if I didn’t see her. Being safely in the car, where I knew that no one would hurt me, and aunt was there, and I had to pee on the way, I was able to flood in my diaper before we got to the counselor’s office, as aunt called her, but I think the doctor actually had a scarier title or work thing attached to it. We walked into this place, and it looked so quiet and so forbidding of any shenanigans, that I wondered if I was bad for wetting my pants in the car, and if they found out I was wet, if I was going to embarrass Aunt Susan or my little sister. I guess I better really try to hide it. There was a front desk that we walked up to, and we saw eight names on plaques behind there. Pah… ps… psee… I really wasn’t sure of what that word was. Have they taught me that word yet? There were two kinds of words that started with the letters PSY… one was written: psychologist and the other was written psychiatrist. I couldn’t read those words because I don’t really remember any word like those except when we studied dinosaurs, and there was something called a pterodactyl. In that word, the p was silent, but the next letter wasn’t a y. Whatever those words were, they sounded a bit scary to me. Lacey and I hugged almost huddling on each other while Aunt Susan guided us over to sit and wait our turn. I hoped I wouldn’t have to remember or say those words to the person, or especially my sister wouldn’t have to. They looked too hard to say. I was afraid I’d sound stupid, so I didn’t ask my aunt how to read them. “Ms. Valana and Lacey Ross?” a lady called us back that had a name tag that read Dr. Laura Kuhnz. Aunt Susan stood up with us, and started to walk us back and into a room with a desk, a lounge sofa like you see in those movies where crazy people tell a doctor their problems, and a small round table. The doctor had us girls take a seat at the table while my aunt went to her desk for a minute. “So, these are your nieces?” I overheard them talking about us. “Yes, they are actually my brother’s wife’s children because he married her after she had the kids, but I think the girls each have different fathers, too.” “I see. And you said that you fear the kids have some deep emotional scars likely caused by the man before your brother?” “Well, I know they do,” Aunt Susan said. “I’ve talked with them a little bit, but I don’t think they even know how to really open up to me, and I thought maybe a real professional might get through their wall.” “Well, if it is a deep hurt, sometimes, it can take years depending on different factors.” “I understand, but I only have the children for the summer, so I’ll pay for three months of sessions with them, and after that, it will be up to their parents.” “Very well. Are there any particular issues you’d like me to address with them?” “Honestly, I just want them to be comfortable telling someone anything that could help them get on track of figuring out how to heal and how to process what has happened to them. Let me show you something.” Aunt Susan came over to me, and she pulled the collar of my shirt back some so the lady could look down my back. I pulled my shirt back saying “Hey! I don’t even know her!” Aunt Susan bent down and looked me in the eye where I was sitting. “Valana, she is going to help you, but she needs to know something about what has happened to you.” “Look, we don’t even live with that guy anymore,” I told Aunt Susan. “Why does it matter what he used to do, and why do we have to talk about it with someone I don’t even know?” Aunt Susan sighed. “Sweetheart, you still have a lot of emotional problems, most of which, were likely caused by that man, and the only way you can learn to deal with your emotional problems, is by facing the things that was done to you. You need to learn to recognize what was done to you, and that what happened, none of it was your fault.” I shook my head. “I don’t understand,” I told her thinking that I knew that we didn’t do anything wrong so that we deserved to be hit all the time. I knew when I deserved it, and I knew when I didn’t. So this was really a waste of Aunt Susan’s money and my time. Dr. Laura Kuhnz smiled and she put a hand on Aunt Susan’s shoulder. “So, I have them for ninety minutes, is that right?” “Yes,” Aunt Susan said. “Then go do something for that time, and I’ll try to see what we can accomplish today.” When Aunt left the room, I sat back folding my arms, and prepared to be probed, but I was going to put up as many barriers as I could. I didn’t want my brain probed, and I didn’t think I needed to talk about my feelings or about what happened several years ago. It wasn’t important to today, was it? My privates felt a little clammy, and I knew I was wet. I might even smell a little bit from it, but the doctor didn’t seem to know about my secret yet. “Alright,” Doctor Kuhnz said. “How about we begin with something simple, shall we?” I shrugged. I didn’t really understand the context of simple or complicated. I was in an environment that was completely out of my experience, and I was with a stranger with my sister, and I don’t ever remember being with a stranger with just my sister and me for as long as I could remember. Lacey’s dad was a jerk, but he didn’t leave us with strangers. “My name is Doctor Laura Kuhnz,” the doctor told us, as if we didn’t already know or couldn’t figure that out. I shrugged, and Lacey looking at me, copied me, folded her arms and shrugged. “Well, it is polite when someone tells you their name, for you to do so in return.” “But you already know our name,” Lacey said truthfully. I looked at her with pride in my eyes. She wasn’t going to fall for this woman’s act either. Whatever she thought she could get from us, I am sure that she is going to be disappointed. “Honey, it’s still polite,” the doctor said. “Besides, I forgot. Can you please tell me your name?” “Fine,” Lacey said with a little pout, tightening her grip on her arms that were folded in front of her. “I’m Lacey,” and she looked over at me. I shrugged. I didn’t care what was polite, did I? The room started to feel a little chilly, and I decided, maybe telling her my name isn’t so bad. “Alright, I’m Valana,” I said thinking that she wasn’t going to get anything else out of me. “You are sisters, aren’t you?” the doctor asked us. We looked at each other, and reluctantly nodded. “So, do you fight often over stuff, like toys or food?” I shook my head no. “Why should we? Lacey has her own favorite things, and I have mine. And there is nothing to fight about with food. If it is limited, it just makes sense that you feed the younger child first because she can’t wait as long as the bigger one can.” The lady nodded. “Lacey? What do you have to say about this?” Lacey frowned. “It’s like Valana said. If there is too little, my sister gives me the food, and Valana doesn’t really play with the things that I like to play with, so there is no problem with sharing toys.” The chill in the place seemed to be getting worse. “Does anyone ever pick on you, Lacey?” the woman asked. “That’s not your business,” I told the lady. “If anyone picks on Lacey, she just comes to me. I will set anyone straight that she doesn’t have a chance with, and I teach her how to deal with people her age.” “And how do you deal with people your own age who bully you?” Doctor Kuhnz asked me. “That depends, and honestly, I don’t think I want to go through and tell you about how I’d do it.” The lady frowned at me, but I just kept my arms folded. Do I have to be polite to her? Do I have to do what she says? I don’t think Aunt Susan told me I had to. She wasn’t telling me to stop that, and to be good and do what I’m told. Honestly, I didn’t want to talk to her because of something else. The room felt like it got a couple of shades darker than it was at the beginning. The chill in the air was getting cooler. My leg was shaking, but I didn’t have to go potty. I had already peed all the way in the car. “I see,” Dr. Kuhnz took down some notes. Her taking notes made me a little more nervous, and my legs were now bouncing and my knees vibrated on each other as has they knocked into each other. “Honey, do you need the toilet?” the lady asked me. “No?!” I exclaimed in surprise. She smiled and turned to Lacey. Lacey was moving nervously in her seat. “You don’t need to talk to her,” I told the lady, but Lacey nodded at me and looked down thinking I was talking to her. I didn’t correct Lacey on her thinking for the moment. I felt like the less that Lacey said to her, the better. Dr. Kuhnz turned my direction. Good. Her attention was on me, not on defenseless little Lacey. “That wasn’t very nice,” the lady chastised me. I knew it wasn’t, and I flinched when she said something, expecting her to backhand me or something, but she never went to slap me. The room grew even yet darker. I shivered at the chill I felt. I knew it was coming, but I tried to keep my wits about me. Just a little longer, I figured, and we could get out of here, and aunt would chase it away. “I’m not going to hurt you,” Dr. Kuhnz told me, but I shrugged at her. I didn’t care if she hurt me, as long as she left my little sister alone. I could see Lacey starting to shuffle a little more and I gave her a look and shook my head slightly at her. She knew what I was signaling. She had to know. If I made her wet her pants, she knew it was to protect her. She looked down again, and nodded. She understood. The lady looked from me to Lacey and saw Lacey just looking down. “What was that about?” she asked me. “Nothing,” I told Dr. Kuhnz. “It’s just between my sister and me.” “I see.” The lady got up from where she was and went and got a cat and a dog stuffed toy, and she went over and got in front of Lacey. I frowned. She didn’t look like she was hitting her, so I let her talk to her, but I was trying really hard to listen to what they were saying. The dark presence was behind me. The cold voice of disappointment and anger rang out from beyond a past time. I was slipping. It felt as if I was free falling, and had no idea of how long it would take to get to the ground, but when I did, it would probably break all my bones…. The darkness was clearing, and I felt myself sitting in an office. I wasn’t wearing a diaper, and my pants were soaking wet. I was sitting on a hard wood chair, and there was a man I didn’t know, the principal, and my mother. Of course, Lacey’s dad was there, too. “Your teacher says she keeps finding bruises on your shoulders and your back,” the strange man told me. What could I do? I am just a kid in fifth grade, or was I in fourth grade? I don’t remember this particular episode so well, but I know it happened. I wanted to get away from the teacher when I was checked, but I was told not to fight adults, but I was told not to show under my shirt to anyone either. I thought it had to do with decency before. “Can you tell me where your bruise on your lower back came from?” the strange man asked me. “I don’t know,” I said. “I was playing outside and something hit me in the back at school during recess the other day. Maybe someone threw a rock or something at me. I am not sure.” The man looked at the principal and my teacher. “And you were fighting with your sister and your sister pushed you into the door knob?” the man asked me. I nodded. “I’ve had a talk with her little sister yesterday,” he told my parents and me which I could tell surprised them. “There is no way a little kid that size can push her into a door knob so hard as to make a bruise like this,” the man told us. “Now, if there are problems at home, we can help you, but you have to be willing to accept our help.” “It’s nothing like that,” Lacey’s dad said. “Are you sure?” the man asked him and my mom, too. My mom looked down. “Lacey did push Valana into a door, and it looked like Valana’s back did hit the door knob, but Valana has been getting bullied at school, too. She could have been hit by her bully.” The man made some notes. “And what have you done about the bullying problem?” “We reported it once, but as the school didn’t seem to take it seriously, we didn’t know what else to do.” The principal frowned when the man looked back at him. “I have her file with me because it’s not just the marks on her that concern me, and the reason I have brought him in to talk,” he told my parents. I felt a sudden fear well up in me. I was actually scared more so than when Lacey’s dad hit me, and something about that man really made me feel like something bad was going to happen. “She’s been peeing at her seat in class,” the principal went on. “And she’s not been doing any homework, but when the teacher talks to her, the teacher can tell there is no rebellious tone to her at all. Even when she is defensive about why she didn’t do an assignment, she is far more apologetic than her peers. There are a lot of things that look suspicious to me.” Those last words echoed out as I remember hearing somewhere within the darkness that we have to move now, and that that man was going to separate Lacey from me, and we would be taken from our mother, and our mom was going to prison, just because I have to pee my pants all the time and they caught me at school! I forgot I had peed my pants sometimes in elementary school. I didn’t remember I did it much in school because the teachers almost always let me go at that time. I shook. This lady reminded me of that man, and the less said in front of her, the better. I came out of the darkness, crying, tears streaking down my face, and I had been moved to the sofa, where they laid me down. I felt a cool breeze on my privates, and reaching my hands down, realized they had taken off my pants and my diaper. The doctor knew I peed my pants! I embarrassed my aunt. Where was Lacey? “Lacey!” I cried harder. Lacey came running over and held my hand. “I’m here,” she said. “You had another memory,” she told me. “I had to tell her about your memories because you were crying and upset, and saying no, no no, a lot! When she carried you over, she found out you peed, so she took off your pants and your diaper.” “I want my pants back,” I whined. “I was about to put them on you,” Dr. Kuhnz said. “Your pants are dry. But I do know what a wet diaper feels like. I’ve dealt with a lot of traumatized kids, so don’t be scared, honey.” I only got more scared though. Was she going to call that man back and have him take Lacey from me, and take our mom from us, and force us to live somewhere where you don’t eat, you don’t have even a minute to think, and you are always doing something for the people that run the kid place? As I was holding Lacey, I could feel the back of her butt was wet. I caused her to pee her pants. I am so stupid. I shouldn’t have told her not to ask to go. Now the woman will call that man! I’m sorry Lacey. “I’m sorry, Lacey.” I spoke aloud. “Why are you sorry?” Lacey asked. I looked up at the woman, and didn’t want to give her any ideas she already didn’t have, so I whispered to Lacey. “I’ll tell you later if we still get to see each other.” The woman bent down and looking at me, she asked. “What makes you think you won’t get to see each other. She noticed that my little sister’s pants were wet at that moment, and she smiled. “You wet your pants, too, honey?” Lacey looked down and nodded. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Let me get your sister’s pants back on her, and then I’ll see if I have something you can wear until your aunt comes back.” I hugged Lacey while the woman was looking for something for Lacey. “I got scared when you went into your memory. The doctor asked you like six questions, and then asked me why you were ignoring her, as if she knew, you couldn’t answer.” “I’m sorry,” I mumbled ashamed I let the void dream pull me away and not be there to help my little sister. I hoped my mistake didn’t get her taken from me. Wait. Lacey’s dad said he would get her. Was this woman in on helping him get Lacey back? I shook some more. The lady came back with a skirt, and then she started to help Lacey undress. “Let’s get your wet things off, sweetheart.” “Okay,” she said looking down. Both Lacey and me know better than to argue with an adult if the adult is in charge of something, and changing our pants, that was usually always an adult’s job, so I had no choice but to let her change Lacey. Finally, our aunt came in just as the lady finished putting clean clothes on Lacey. “What’s going on?” aunt demanded. “Your nieces both wet. One soaked her diaper, but didn’t get her pants wet, so I just changed her diaper, and the other one wet all over her pants, so I put her in a skirt, but I’m afraid I don’t have any panties to put on her.” “Oh,” Aunt Susan blushed. I knew it. I embarrassed Aunt Susan. I shouldn’t have wet my pants in the car. I shouldn’t have told Lacey to wet her pants. But would the lady have let us to go the bathroom together? I didn’t want Lacey out of my sight, and I was hoping she would not be found out until Aunt came to get us. Aunt Susan put down a bag, and she pulled out a pair of panties for Lacey, and she told her to put them on. Lacey did so with a smile. She knew better than to take off her panties, but the woman seemed to think it a good idea to take them off her anyway. Once Aunt Susan had us out of the office with the doctor, she took us to the bathroom, where she helped Lacey put a pad in her panties, and she helped me get a diaper on with pads before putting my pants back on me. “It’s okay, little ones,” Aunt Susan told us. “She’s a professional. She’s seen little kids pee their pants before. You are not the worst case she has ever seen, okay? You can come back, and I bet she doesn’t even bring up you peed next time.” “Can Lacey wear a diaper next time we meet her?” I asked Aunt Susan. “I don’t want her going off on her own, and I don’t trust her not to let us go together.” “I could ask her to let you go together.” “But I don’t trust her no matter what she tells you,” I said looking down. “Lacey is really important to me, and I… um… I need to show you something.” Aunt Susan nodded and when we were in the car, I waited by the front seats before going to my place by Jason, and after Aunt Susan was in, I pulled out the paper from my pocket, and I gave it to her. I was scared, and I was shaking, worried something worse could happen, but I wasn’t sure I could protect Lacey by myself, and my Aunt and Uncle seemed to really care. “Where did you get this?” Aunt Susan demanded. “Yesterday, when you caught me all scared. He showed up, I think for real, and he told me to give it to Lacey, but I didn’t want to scare her.” Aunt Susan showed Uncle Scott the paper, and he frowned. “Go sit by Jason,” Aunt Susan told me, and I took my place where Jason buckled me in. “Do you think it’s safe to take them camping this weekend?” I heard my aunt though she thought she was whispering, I was very attentive when adults were talking about my sister or me. “How would he know where we are going? When we get close to where we will camp, I’ll do some crazy turns and stuff and make unnecessary stops to see if we can identify if anyone is following us. Meanwhile, tomorrow, I’ll talk to the police, too, and show them the note.” Aunt Susan nodded.

Fuck it. I feel like breaking one of my own rules just now, and giving some perspective. Just a fun bit of historical information for people, if they're interested. I shared this on my patreon around this chapter, so I thought people might like it here, too. When you think about it, science does NOT have a good track record with regards to psychology, psychiatry, and neurological stuff. Anything where there's people observing other people, a TON of bias is gonna come in. ESPECIALLY if the people are already seen or treated as "less than". ESPECIALLY if previous bias has already been established as fact. Phrenology, the "study" of bumps on the head and its shape to determine someone's personality and intelligence, came about and was used as a way to justify white people's superiority to literally anyone else (but specifically black people). People in power had long decided that people not in power were inherently inferior and made up a whole pseudo-science to explain the conclusion they had already reached. (Sound familiar?) Hysteria used to be considered a legit medical diagnosis, more often attributed to women who didn't get banged enough and that made them irrational, anxious, prone to seizure and fainting, hallucinations, and emotionally volatile. Basically any time a woman acted how they "weren't supposed to act", it was attributed to this magical condition involving their uterus. Prominent French neurologists, Charcot, thought hysteria was something that could be inherited and carried but events could trigger its latent activation. (Sound familiar?) In the 1970's the Rosenhan experiment had about a dozen people go into various mental institutions for an appointment saying they were concerned. They were given enough info on how to fake having schizophrenia for the interview process. Then as soon as they were admitted, they ceased the behaviors and acted normally. Yet everything they did after the point of admission was attributed to their schizophrenia. Some of them took notes out in the open about everything they were seeing and observing. That was also attributed to their schizophrenia. They couldn't get released until they confessed to a psychiatrist that they were mentally ill and then agreed to take antipsychotic medication...that they covertly flushed down the toilet. There was no privacy, random searches, condescension, sometimes viewing them going to the bathroom. The general consensus was that while the staff at these places were generally well meaning, there was still an overall feeling of dehumanization, objectification and dare I say it...infantilization? (That last one was my choice of words but...sound familiar?) The moment these "pseudopatients" as they called themselves were given the label of "schizophrenia", that became their key defining attribute and literally everything they did was explained by that attribute. (Sound familiar?) We see these beliefs as quaint and antiquated and obviously false now, but the people living in these times didn't. It was fact to them. The stories of people "discovering things and changing the way we think" are often not actually a matter of brave geniuses that cracked an unsolvable code that was heretofore completely mistranslated. They are about people who were able to spread their particular ideas to a society and power structure that was ready to listen. But ONLY when enough people- and more importantly the ones in power-were ready to listen. The Earth was the center of the universe, because of course we were. We're the only ones here and have you seen how awesome we are? Why wouldn't we be the center and have a nice shiny ball of light go around us? We are not immune to our own confirmation biases. Edison convinced people alternating current electricity was more deadly and dangerous than his own direct current by killing an elephant with it. Not to get political, but whether you are "right wing" or "left wing", look at the other side and think about how you feel about them? Betcha the most charitable thing you think of is something close to "they're stupid and misinformed". But know that they're thinking the same thing about you. We are not immune to propaganda. This is not an anti-science stance. This is not "both sides are as bad as the other". This isn't even "believe what you believe". Within the world of Unfair; Maturosis may be very real and the Amazons closest to Clark are grieving in the way that some people grieve when a loved one has dementia, a stroke, or a traumatic brain injury. Same body, but in so many ways its a different person and you're afraid that the old one that you loved is never coming back. Or it could be a codified system of oppression that has been pushed so hard that anyone shorter than an Amazon is scene as automatically less adult and needs to be "cared for" at the slightest sign of slippage is taken as fact like the sun going around the Earth. Clark's anger and frustration may be completely justified. Because his friends don't see him, only the fake diagnosis that got slapped on him. So is Tracy's extreme reluctance to get involved in a system that doesn't inherently target her but COULD take an unhealthy interest in her if she pokes her nose in too deeply. Humans can be wrong because they're operating under presuppositions due to cultural and personal biases put there by incomplete information, propaganda and people's generally innate desire to be right. And I have endeavored to make the cast of characters that reside in Oakshire very, very, human while still capturing a lot of the features and spirit of the Diaper Dimension. I will never answer whether or not Maturosis is real within this story, because whether it is or not isn't the point of the story. I chose to write this from first person POV because I did not want to give the appearance of objective fact. Clark's hurting here. And his pain is real in this moment. But that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone involved in his forced babying is stupid or acting in bad faith. How many times has Clark been wrong in this story, already? Remember when he thought Amy was just another mind fucked Little without a thought in her head?

Honestly age is just a number, but I agree with @Snugglebear_69. And if you got the drive and still got action in your soul then hey good for you!

I was DL long before the internet

If you engage in proper prep and use enough lubricant than age is not an issue.

I’m one of those fortunate ones with a history of child bedwetting as I’ve shared elsewhere on this site. While parents worked to bring it to an end, their efforts were are best marginally successful. To be honest about this — which I do nowhere but here — I hit a point in my early teens that I didn’t want to try to stop. Why mess up a good thing? Yes, it was and is a weird pleasure. There are lots of weird pleasures. So what? There were times I wised I had worked hard to try to get it under control, but fortunately I resisted those attempts. I know, nobody gets why some of us like wetting ourselves while asleep. I don’t understand it. I know that it hurts no one, I get a rush from wetting my diapers while I’m in bed if I’m awake as well as going to bed dry and waking waking up wet — or even wetter. So, no foul. I’m sure my enthusiasm for being a bedwetter has helped keep it permanent. Could it be cured after so many years? Maybe improved with meds and stuff? But improvement is useless. If you can cut your frequency of wetting in your sleep down from five times a week to one, you still have to wear diapers to bed or be prepared to soak the sheets since you don’t know when that one time per week will happen. A professional would probably say that I sound like someone who doesn’t want to stop wetting the bed. Right. I admit it. It’s just that I had a head start on this when I was young. As I said, let’s keep a good thing going! For those who are trying to become bedwetters — an admirable goal — you’ll see all kinds of advice on this site. Just stay with the program. One suggestion I can make is to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

My wife found out I used diapers when we first slept together. I had to come clean when the sheets were soaked with more than just sweat in the morning ?

My Daddy loves touch and cuddles. When He needs to recharge He likes to diaper me up, put me in a footed sleeper and then have me curl up in His lap. He finds me snuggling in His lap or on His chest super relaxing and just helps all His stress melt away.

Oh…. the title of the post said when your incontinent and AB… you response is confusing, sorry.

Ordering something with padding and taking her stuff. You cant tell me she is not planning something but at least she now can have an accident there xD

I really don't have an issue seeing used diapers disposed of properly while out in public. As long as its in the trash then its all good. I don't agree with leaving it out somewhere for someone else to deal with.....that just isn't polite.

I get a waxing done every 2 mo ths to keep it smooth.

Chapter 27 ((Content warning: Self Harm, descriptions of depression)) Monday morning came on unbearably hard. Melody looked out at the snow dumping out of the sky and piling on the lawn. It would be absolute heaven to get a fresh diaper, a snowsuit and go out in the fluffy white with Briana. They checked their phone for the tenth time. School wasn’t cancelled. In fact, the administration had issued a statement that the roads were freshly plowed and that all classes were to go ahead. Melody’s last hope was that one or all of their professors would cancel, but no luck there either. “Good morning, Melody.” Veronica said. She’d let herself in to Melody’s room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Oh uh, hi.” Melody turned away from the window. “Don’t I usually go to you for the morning thing?” “No, lately you don’t.” Veronica said primly. Melody looked away guiltily. “Uh, sorry.” “I’m not here to push blame on you, but we are going to be honest. Now, while I get you changed and ready for the day, we have to talk about at least one thing going on in your life.” Veronica said. “Please don’t make me.” Melody whimpered. They were tearing up again. They hated that they were crying so much lately. “It doesn’t have to be about Rosa or Beatrix.” Veronica said. “Though I would be happy to talk about them. It just has to be something about how you’re feeling.” Melody sighed. They nodded slowly. “I guess I have some questions about the way I’ve been acting this weekend. Little, but it feels like more than a game this time.” Veronica whisked the covers off of Melody and scooted them onto a changing blanket. The room was a little chilly, especially when Veronica took their pajama pants down. “You’ve been wearing diapers for a while, even when I wasn’t directly enforcing it. It sounds like you had some little-space experiences recently, though you haven’t told me about those yet.” Veronica said kindly. She wasn’t making eye-contact, focusing instead on getting Melody out of their diaper and wiping them clean. “Oh right. Uh, I did it once with Tamira. A couple of times with Rosa. It was uh…” Melody whimpered. “You said we didn’t have to talk about Rosa.” “We don’t have to. It might help you to, though. Especially if it’s about the good experiences you had.” Veronica said, getting a fresh diaper under Melody. “That’s the problem though.” Melody said dully. “Those are gone now. She broke up with me.” Saying it out loud was a fresh stab to the barely healed wound. Melody trembled, feeling dizzy and sick. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I think she was very good for you. You two looked happy together.” Veronica said. “We were.” Melody said softly. “Let’s take a step back to what you were saying earlier.” Veronica said, tenderly patting baby powder onto Melody’s skin. “You said you had more than one little space experience with Rosa.” “Yeah.” Melody said with a heavy sigh. It was painful to think about, but nothing compared to remembering their breakup. “It felt so good. I was really safe with her. It was nothing like the diaper stuff I did with Bea. It was perfect.” “Did allowing yourself to be little help you feel safe here with us?” Veronica asked. She patted the tapes on Melody’s diaper, checking that the fit was snug. “Did it recapture some of that feeling?” “I think so.” Melody said. “Especially playing with Briana. I really appreciate you and Jane taking care of me.” “That’s part of our solution to your hurt, then.” Veronica said. “I’d be the last person to tell you to repress and forget a trauma. At the same time, you don’t have to examine it when it’s fresh and painful. Take a few days to recover with your support network. When you feel stronger, we’ll look at what caused this.” “I was doing that.” Melody said. They wanted to roll over and snuggle up to Veronica. Today had to be an adult day, so they couldn’t. “Now I have to go back to school and work and face everything.” “You do.” Veronica said, her tone kind but direct. “When you come home, you’ll be supported again. I will take some of the logistic worries away for you, tracking what you need to do and when. As soon as your work and homework are done, you can be little again.” “Like a secret identity.” Melody said. They looked up to see confusion on Veronica’s face. “You know, superheroes.” “I don’t know a lot about comics.” Veronica said, like there weren’t also dozens of movies in a multibillion-dollar genre of movies with superheroes in them. “But I imagine it would be exhausting to be someone like Superman. To be seen all the time as a literal savior and demigod. I’m sure someone like that would find a Clark Kent persona to be relaxing. To be someone who is only expected to write an article, not save the world.” “You’re saying that when I’m done with my work all I have to do is…” “Is play nicely with your sister and listen to your caregivers.” Veronica said. “That could be good.” Melody said. “Thanks.” “You’re welcome. That wasn’t terrible, was it?” “It wasn’t fun.” Melody said. “I feel better now, though.” “That’s how therapy often goes. Alright, out of bed with you. I got you showered last night but we still need to get your teeth brushed and clothes on.” Veronica said. Ready for school way earlier than normal, Melody decided to eat breakfast up in Briana’s room. They found their sister snuggled under a pile of blankets with a cup of hot chocolate, staring out at the snow in wonder. “Melody!” Briana said brightly. “It’s snowing so much!” Melody chuckled. “You going to go out and play in it today?” “Yeah! Can you play with me?” Briana asked. “After school maybe?” “Sorry sis.” Melody said. “I’ve got homework and regular work.” “Aww. Well, I’ll make a snow they/them just for you.” Briana said brightly. “Hah, a SnowEnby.” Melody munched on the unadorned blueberry toaster waffles she’d brought. “Thanks for the save yesterday.” “I’m glad I could do it!” Briana said. “I wish I could do it alla-time, but it’s so hard to be big. Are you going to be okay today, not being little?” “I have to be.” Melody shrugged. “But Veronica said I could be little when all my stuff is done. So, it’s kind of like being little is my secret identity.” “Ooh, like a superhero!” Briana said. Melody was glad to see that their sister wasn’t as uncultured as Veronica. “Yeah, pretty much. I do all the important stuff and then I get to hide away as someone else.” “That’s what I want to do. But I feel like this is me. The little Briana is the real Briana. Being Big Briana yesterday felt like playing pretend.” “That just makes you Shazam!” Melody said with a shrug. “Huh?” Briana asked. “I don’t know that one.” “Oh man, I really have to start showing you the Historical Documents.” Melody said. Briana gave them another blank look. Melody facepalmed. “You haven’t seen GALAXY QUEST?” Melody shook their head. “It’s worse than I thought. Anyway, first things first. Shazam is a hero who’s a little boy, but he can turn into a powerful adult hero when he says Shazam!” Briana stared at Melody in wonder. She leapt out of bed, splashing her cocoa across the rug. “Melody you’re a genius!” “Heh, thanks.” Melody said. They braced themself for impact, putting their free hand around Briana after she crashed in for a hug. “You really are, you know that right?” Briana said, half muffled by Melody’s shirt. “Your computer stuff is super impressive. I heard Mom talking about it. She said the Dean of Computer Science was talking about you.” “Uh yeah, I’m pretty good at that kind of stuff.” Melody said. “I’m still not clear on how knowing about Shazam! makes me a genius though.” “I think I really can do that.” Briana said, hopping back. “I can put on Big Briana if I know it’s just for a while. It’s trying to be Big Briana inside that makes it hard. If it’s just like transforming into a Knight of Cloudland, then it’s okay!” “Huh, I guess if that works for you, I like it.” Melody said. “Uh, you realize you spilled your hot chocolate, right?” “I did?” Briana looked behind her. “Oh no! Mom’s gonna be mad, and I’ll lose Santa Points!” “Santa Points?” Melody asked. “Actually, never mind that right now. I’ll help you clean it up, okay?” “Really?” Briana asked gratefully. “Anything for my little sister.” Melody said. Leaving Briana behind and going to school was a nightmare. Melody was sure their face was either Sad Meme Cat or Hide the Pain Harold all day. It wasn’t their long day, at least. Most of the day on Mondays could be spent hiding in an undergraduate lab, running unit tests on their thesis project. It was looking like there were only thirty more minutes of work, when the computer lab suddenly got very loud. Melody looked up in confusion at the cacophony of coughs, muttering, and exclamations. With all the undergrad boys looking the same direction, it was easy to spot the source. Beatrix had made an entrance. She was wearing a vee-necked, backless romper like she was Emma Frost, and the cold couldn’t touch her. Didn’t she realize that the undergrad labs were full of some for-real awkward nerds? Now the animals were spooked. Beatrix spotted Melody and strode toward her. One of the bolder undergrads slid his chair out and tried his luck with a “Hey beautiful.” “Not on your best day.” Beatrix said coldly. “Or on my worst.” Bea stepped around the guy like he was a bug. “Melody. We have to talk.” Beatrix announced. Things were getting weirder and weirder with Beatrix. That had almost sounded like a request. Melody nodded a little. “Uh, okay. I just have to finish up here. We can meet in like thirty…” Melody blinked in surprise as Beatrix pulled the power cord out of the back of their computer tower. “We can talk now.” Beatrix said. That was more like the Bea that Melody knew. At least their work had autosaved. “Uh, fine.” They said. Melody picked up their bag and shuffled out of the lab behind Beatrix. Nothing to make a bad day worse like having an entire computer lab stare at them. Melody was going to have to find a new lab to be incognito in. If they came back, at least one of those guys was going to start a conversation by saying, “I’m just curious…” Beatrix lead Melody to another office under renovation, unlocking it with her construction key. “How did you even get that key?” Melody asked. “I stole it off some idiot’s tool cart.” Beatrix said, rolling her eyes like it should have been obvious. “It’s handy to be able to get into a private space whenever you want.” “Okay, kind of weird, but not a sin.” Melody said. “What do you want to talk about?” Beatrix sat on the desk that had been pushed up against the bookshelves. The opposite wall was all torn up. It looked like some shelves had come off that wall, but nothing had been re-plastered yet. “I was a little freaked out the other day.” Beatrix said. “I lost my cool. Not my fault, I was under a lot of stress. Plus, you caught me off guard.” “Um…” Melody felt pressure building on their chest. That day was the last day they wanted to talk about. “Doesn’t matter, that shit’s behind us now.” Beatrix said. “You were out of line, but you were right about one thing. I’m attracted to you.” Melody chewed their lip. What even was going on? Was Beatrix trying to have a relationship discussion with them? Did she not realize what she’d done, was still doing to Melody? “Nothing to say?” Beatrix asked in irritation. “I know you think I’m hot. After undergrad, you stayed in touch because you wanted to touch me.” “Uh yeah, that’s true.” Melody blushed. “Well now you can, but we have to get a couple of things straight.” Beatrix said. “We’re not going to get anything straight if this ends in us making out.” Melody said with smirk. “Oh god, lesbian jokes.” Beatrix shook her head. “Focus Mel! I’m attracted to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that. Melody thought. “But you’re the submissive one!” Beatrix said sharply. “Okay? There’s nothing wrong with me being hot for you, as long as you’re the bitch.” “Uh Bea that’s not really…” “Hush!” Beatrix commanded. “You win, okay? You get all this.” Melody stared at Bea in confusion. Is this what it would be like to date her? The whole conversation was rough, angry, with hidden mines scattered through it. “You still don’t understand? Well, it’s cute that you need permission anyway.” Beatrix said. “Melody. Come here and kiss me. Now.” Melody swallowed hard. They didn’t want to. Except they did want to. It wouldn’t really be cheating anymore, would it? Beatrix would get nicer as time went on, surely. This was just the start of – something. The start of something that wasn’t alone. Melody walked forward tentatively. Beatrix kept her eyes on them the whole way, enchantingly focused on them. By the time Melody reached Bea, their heart was pounding. She smelled so good. She looked amazing. The kiss felt like a first kiss. It was gentle, exploratory. Beatrix held Melody’s head like a lover, not an attacker. By the third kiss, Beatrix had gently moved Melody’s hands to her chest. Shortly after she had her hands down the back of Melody’s pants. “You’re still wearing diapers?” Beatrix whispered in Melody’s ear. “Do you know how hot it is that you’re so obedient?” Melody shivered and moaned. They wasn’t wearing them for Bea, but that wasn’t a fact that needed explaining right now. “You don’t have to be a diaper dolly anymore.” Beatrix whispered lustily. “But if you like to play pretend you can be my puppy, or my pony, or my toy.” Melody gasped and kissed Beatrix harder, biting Bea’s lip gently. They got a bite back in return, forcing another moan out of Melody. “Get me off, toy.” Beatrix said, shedding her romper from her shoulders, and pushing Melody’s hands downward. “You haven’t earned a reward from me yet, but if you make this good for me, I’ll make you come later this week. In my bed.” “Oh god.” Melody said hoarsely. Beatrix was warm, soft, and wet under Melody’s hands. Her moans were needy and ecstatic in Melody’s ear. Between moans, Bea gave specific orders, teaching Melody how to please her. It wasn’t long before Beatrix shuddered and pressed against Melody. They were hot with desire too, panting into Beatrix’s neck. “Oh fuck, I needed that.” Beatrix said, taking a deep breath. “Isn’t that funny, Mel? All those useless, stupid fucking guys, and what I needed was you.” “You need me?” Melody asked, their voice cracking. “I guess I do.” Beatrix put Melody’s wet fingers to their lips. “Smart, obedient, and actually kind of – handsome?” Melody whimpered and licked their fingers clean. A couple of tears sprang into their eyes. That was Rosa’s word. It wasn’t right to hear it from Beatrix. None of this was right. It felt good across their skin, in their brain, and especially between their legs. In their heart it felt like a lump of ice. “Yeah, this can work.” Beatrix said languidly. “Come over to my house this weekend. I’ll let you touch me, I’ll make you beg, and when you’ve earned it, I’ll make you scream my name.” Melody swallowed around a hard lump in their throat. They couldn’t find the words to respond. They’d never wanted and not wanted something so intensely at the same time. “I’ll tell you what day and time.” Beatrix said. When Melody still didn’t respond, she laughed. “I like you all quiet and attentive.” Beatrix kissed Melody gently. She shrugged herself back into her romper and hopped off the desk. “I know you get turned on by the diapers, but I’m over them. I can find another way to humiliate you if you need that. Don’t wear them when you come over to my place, okay? I’ll let you wear them around school if you really want to.” “Beatrix.” Melody said huskily. Bea had been right, they needed to talk. So far it had only been Bea talking. Melody hesitated while they tried to find the words they needed, and the courage to say them. “I know, I box-blocked you.” Beatrix chuckled. “That’s what you get for doing it to me last week. If you’re really good tomorrow, I’ll do something for you. Plus, we have the weekend.” “But I…” Melody tried again. “That’s how it should be. With you begging.” Beatrix said in satisfaction. “See you tomorrow, Mel.” Bea collected her bag and her coat, stepping out of the room without a look back. Melody sank to the floor of the office and sobbed. Making plans with Beatrix felt like burying their relationship with Rosa for real. Could they ever go back to Rosa if they spent the night with Beatrix? That was assuming that they could go back to Rosa at all. Even if Melody broke away from Beatrix totally, was the thing with Rosa fixable? Melody punched the desk, welcoming the pain in their knuckles. It was hard to imagine a return to being Rosa’s little one with the hurt that sat between them now. Beatrix wanted them. Really wanted them. Had even tried to be nice. Honestly, had been as nice as Melody had ever seen Beatrix. Maybe Melody could fix her. Bea had some weird stuff around emotions, but Melody wasn’t the most neurotypical bear in the woods either. They could help Bea be better, at least with their relationship. “Our relationship.” Melody said softly. Beatrix was their girlfriend, for real. That hurt again, it pushed Rosa further away. It made Melody’s nerves dance in delight too. There was too much confusion. Too many conflicting chemicals in Melody’s brain. They felt like they were going to throw up again. Melody’s gaze fell on a utility knife that had been left on the floor of the office. Without thinking, just needing, they picked it up. The blade flicked out, shiny and new. For a long time, Melody stared at the razor blade. Their breathing became loud and labored. Melody’s lips were trembling, but their hands were steady. In a sudden flash of emotional anguish, Melody yanked their sleeve up and drew the blade down the back of their upper arm. The pain was bright and strong. It pushed all the horrible thoughts away to the edges of Melody’s mind. Gritting their teeth, Melody pressed a tissue to the cut. It stung and throbbed. Good, they thought. A few minutes later the cut had stopped bleeding. Melody’s thoughts were back to being flat and sad. It was nice to have a reprieve from the turmoil. Melody tucked the utility knife down into the very bottom of their bag. It was time to go home, do some work, and escape into being a baby. That night, Melody was relieved to see that their bet had paid off. Veronica didn’t spot the cut on their arm. It was just like high school; except they were hiding the cuts from someone who saw a lot more of their skin. That made it harder. At least being babied in the evening meant there was a different way to make the swirling thoughts go away. The next day Melody felt like they were in a dream. Everything outside the house felt unreal. It was almost like they were watching themselves make out with Beatrix instead of actually doing it. Beatrix made a Friday date with Melody. They managed to not think about what that meant, with help from their new knife. It was a relief to get home. Melody found Veronica in the living room and knelt down next to her, putting their head on her leg. “Well, hello there.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s hair. “Somebody needs attention.” “Can I be little, please?” Melody asked. “Did your clients agree to push those last two projects back to the New Year?” Veronica asked. “Yes.” Melody said. “And you finished all the unit tests that Dr. Sorenson was asking for?” “Yeah, all done. They’re way faster to do on the school’s network.” “Then you’re all ready to be little.” Veronica said, putting away her book. “Let’s start with a bath.” “Do I have to?” Melody asked, unconsciously touching the arm they’d marked. “Yes.” Veronica said. “You managed to worm you way out of one yesterday and you didn’t shower this morning. There won’t be any stinky babies on my watch.” Melody followed Veronica to the bathroom nervously. They managed to pass inspection when Veronica stripped them down. Sinking into the tub, Melody let themself relax a little. Being bathed by Veronica was one of their favorite things. It was the first caregiver thing she’d done for them. As Veronica scrubbed their hair and rinsed it, Melody let the gross thoughts of the day melt away. In a few minutes they’d be safely diapered and dressed in some kind of fun pajamas. They could hang out with their sister until bedtime, when sleep would shut down all thinking until morning. “No falling asleep in the tub, little one.” Veronica said, her hand closing around Melody’s upper arm. Melody yelped. As soon as they did it, they realized their mistake. It was too late, Veronica already had their arm in hand, inspecting it. “I’m sorry hon, do you have a bruise or…” Veronica trailed off when she saw the three parallel cuts on the back of Melody’s arm. Melody snatched their arm back and put their hand over the cuts. “It’s just a scratch.” “Is that what it is?” Veronica asked heatedly. “Just three parallel scratches, one of which was obviously done on a different day than the others?” “Yeah, that’s it.” Melody said sullenly. “Get out of the tub, little one.” Veronica said tersely. Melody sighed and heaved themself up. They stood on the bath rug, water pouring off of them. “Over my knee.” Veronica said, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. “I’m soaking.” Melody protested at the absurdity of it. “You’ll get wet.” “That’s not a concern right now. You get over my lap right now, unless you want to be grounded from playing video games with Briana, until Christmas.” Melody was caught off guard by how serious that threat felt. Gingerly, they lowered themself over Veronica’s lap. Her forearm pinned Melody’s lower back like a vice. They winced, tensing their rear. “I want to be completely clear about this.” Veronica said. “I am not spanking you for cutting yourself. That’s a separate issue to deal with, but it doesn’t merit punishment. I am spanking you for lying to me.” “It’s none of your business.” Melody said in a surly tone. “It’s private.” SMACK! Veronica’s hand came down hard on Melody’s wet rear. They gasped and blushed at the sudden pain and embarrassment. “None of my business?” Veronica asked, spanking Melody again. “Are you trying to push me away, Melody? Is that what you want to do?” “Ow!” Melody cried. “It helps me! I’ve done it before. It’s fine!” Four more smacks came down on Melody’s rear. Veronica was either spanking harder or the fact that their butt was wet was making it worse. Possibly both. “Melody, if you’ve done this kind of self-harm before, then you know it doesn’t help. Not past the moment.” Veronica landed several more swats on Melody’s rear. “It’s dangerous and it leads down a very bad road.” “I don’t care!” Melody wailed. “Little one,” Veronica said. “You are going to get the most though spanking I’ve given you yet. Then you’re going right down to baby treatment, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.” “Don’t wanna.” Melody said. “Can’t make me.” “I can do anything if it saves you.” Veronica said. The spanking that followed seemed like it would never end. Melody went from yelping, to crying, to howling sobs. Through it all, Veronica rained down measured slaps on Melody’s butt. The pain throbbed deep into Melody’s back and legs. It erased everything else in their mind. There was nothing left in the world except Melody’s stinging butt, Veronica’s relentless hand, and the crying that wouldn’t stop. It did eventually end, of course. Melody was walked naked back to their room, but they barely registered it. Veronica never left them. She called orders to Jane and Briana while she put Melody down to be diapered. Not one, but two diapers and a booster pad went under Melody’s rear. They were limp and unresisting when Veronica spread the soothing lidocaine cream across their rear. They didn’t protest when the triple layers of padding were wrapped around them, even though it was so thick that Melody couldn’t close their legs. The addition of a plastic diaper-cover, which secured with a Velcro strap, caused some grumbles, which Veronica ignored. With all that bulk it took Jane and Veronica both to get Melody into an oversized black onesie. Briana had brought Totoro and a pacifier. She put the former in Melody’s arms, the latter she clipped to Melody’s onesie. Jane had brought a bottle full of warm formula. At Veronica’s direction, they left the room and closed the door. Exhausted and buried in little-paraphernalia, Melody let Veronica feed them with the bottle. She was holding them swaddled in a blanket that pinned their arms and legs. Melody could have pushed out of the blanket but didn’t have the energy. When the bottle was empty, Veronica wiped Melody’s lips. She secured the edge of the blanket, trapping Melody more firmly in their snuggly prison. “Now, little baby, we are going to talk.” Veronica said. “Wonika.” Melody said. They blushed. They hadn’t even been trying to use baby talk. “I’ll start if you don’t mind.” Veronica said gently. “What was the trigger for you to cut yourself?” “Beatrix kissed me.” Melody said. “She assaulted you?” Veronica frowned. “No, she did that before.” Melody said. “When she took the pictures?” Veronica asked. “No uh…” Melody sighed. “There’s a lot.” “I need to hear it.” Veronica said. “Letting you fall is not an option, remember?” “It’s hard.” Melody said. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “That’s not your choice right now.” Veronica said. “You’re a baby, swaddled up in my arms. You can’t go anywhere until we talk about this. If I have to sit here all night until you finally talk, and I change your poopy diaper afterwards, that’s what will happen.” A sudden sob burst out of Melody. It was just the one though, and they felt a little better after. If they didn’t have a choice, talking was easier. It was something they had to do, no matter what they wanted. “Beatrix has been – controlling me.” Melody said softly. “She makes me do stuff with her. Because of the pictures she has.” Veronica didn’t reply, she just stroked Melody’s back through the blanket. “Then Rosa and I got together. It was great, but you were making me wear diapers and Bea was making me wear them too.” Melody sighed. “But then Rosa liked the diapers. We had – some good days. She took care of me. Let me call her mommy.” “You’re being such a good, brave baby.” Veronica said softly. “Keep going.” “Then Beatrix came at me again. This was th-the day I came back really sad. The recent one, I guess.” Melody took a deep breath. “She was kissing all over me. But I made her mad, and she hit me. Rosa saw the marks on my face, and the lipstick too.” “Oh sweetie.” Veronica whispered. “Rosa told me I had to stop seeing Beatrix. But I can’t. She has the pictures and – and I like it. I like being told what to do. I wanted to be with Beatrix since freshman year.” Melody felt tears pouring down their cheeks. “Rosa said – said I couldn’t be with her, if I didn’t stop with Beatrix. She – she left.” “No wonder you were in crisis that day.” Veronica said. “We’re almost there, you can do it. Finish telling me.” “This week, Bea said she liked me. We – we’re dating now. But when I kiss her, it’s like Rosa goes away more. I don’t know what to do.” Melody started sobbing softly. “It hurts if I’m alone, it hurts if I’m with Beatrix. It hurts so much my tummy gets sick.” Melody buried their face in Veronica’s chest. “I remembered cutting from high school. I just needed to not hurt. I had to stop it.” “My dear, beloved Melody.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s back in slow circles. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much. I can’t let you keep cutting yourself though. That’s only going to hurt you more.” “I don’t know what to do!” Melody sobbed. “I think you should stop seeing Beatrix.” Veronica said. “I can’t.” Melody whimpered. “You can. You’re my brave, smart, hard-working baby. You’re scared, but you can get past the fear.” Veronica sighed softly. “Melody, my darling, Beatrix hurts you. She’s hurting your heart and she’s hurting your body. It has to stop.” “I h-have a date with her on Friday.” Melody said. “I can s-stop it after that.” “No.” Veronica said firmly. “You can tell her that you aren’t coming to the date. That she can’t see you anymore. It will be scary, but you will be free.” “M-maybe.” Melody said. That hurt too. It was unfair, brutally so, that giving up on Beatrix would hurt and that giving up on Rosa would hurt too. Inside of Melody were two wolves. It didn’t matter what either one of them was, because you’re not supposed to have wolves inside of you. Melody’s stupid wolves were going to kill them. “You have a very strong attachment to Beatrix.” Veronica said. “It’s not healthy. Especially considering how she treats you. I’ll take your maybe for now. Before Friday afternoon, you need to tell me what you’re going to do.” “What if I say I’m going on the date?” Melody asked miserably. “I will very strongly disagree with you. Because I love you.” Veronica said. “I don’t see anything but pain for you on that date, or any other time with Beatrix. You don’t have to have a lover who hits you. Nobody should have to endure that. You can find someone who treats you like the wonderful, beautiful person you are, even if it isn’t Rosa.” Melody couldn’t answer. They’d be shaking all over if it wasn’t for the restrictive blanket. Everything felt so bad, all the time. Veronica’s words sounded nice, but they didn’t feel real. Melody was at the bottom of a pit, and they couldn’t see the top anymore. “I’m going to stay with you tonight.” Veronica said. “What?” Melody craned their neck to look up at Veronica. “Really? Why?” “A couple of reasons.” Veronica said. “The biggest one is that I love you, and you need to be loved. The smaller one is that I haven’t found your knife yet.” “Why?” Melody asked. “I make so much trouble for everybody. You just wanted a renter; you didn’t need all this.” “I didn’t know how much my family needed you, until we met you.” Veronica said. “I’m not joking when I say I love you. Briana isn’t either.” Melody nuzzled Veronica’s chest until their tears were wiped away. “You’ll really stay?” “I won’t leave you alone for a single minute tonight. I’m even going to sleep in this bed with you.” “C-can Briana sleep here too?” Melody asked. “Never mind, the bed isn’t big enough, sorry.” “We have an inflatable mattress.” Veronica said. “She can sleep on that. It’ll be like a sleepover.” Melody managed their first smile of the day. They sighed and leaned into Veronica. Nothing was going to be okay, but that was later. Right now, for one night, Veronica and Briana could keep the bad things away.

The cure to the sads of last chapter, one of the sweetest in the book! ----- 26 Briana looked at Veronica curiously. Instead of opening the dresser drawers full of onesies and pajamas, Veronica was in the back of Briana’s closet. Briana was in just a diaper, awaiting whatever outfit Mom was going to put her in. “How do you feel about big girl clothes?” Veronica asked. “Are we having people over again?” Briana asked. The last time she’d worn big girl clothes it had been at a party. The time before that – was when she was still going to school. It seemed so long ago. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to come shopping with me.” Veronica said. “Really?!” Briana bounced excitedly. “Yes, please Mommy! Can we get Christmas presents? I have lotsa people to buy for.” Veronica chuckled, emerging from the closet with a long yellow skirt. She added a blue and white checkered blouse, setting both on the bed. Briana checked out the clothes excitedly while she waited for mom to dress her. To Briana’s surprise, the first thing Veronica put on her was a white bralette. While dressing little, she didn’t technically need to wear a bra, and hadn’t worn one in ages. Already she was feeling like a super big girl. Briana helped Veronica get the skirt and blouse on her, as well as a pair of thick white leggings. Cute blue shoes that Briana had totally forgotten about completed the outfit. Spinning in front of her mirror to poof her skirt out, Briana laughed in delight. “You look terrific sweetie.” Veronica said. “Thanks for picking this outfit.” Briana said. “I love it.” “It’s the outfit you wore when you applied to live in the house, do you remember?” Veronica asked. “Oh, I do now! I’m so glad I moved in with you.” Briana took a couple of dancing steps over to Veronica and hugged her. “I love you, Mama.” “My little BumblBri.” Veronica said softly, pulling Briana close. “Are we going out right away?” Briana asked. “We need to get going, yes. Grab a coat, I think your blue one will be warm enough, and look nice too. You have to wear gloves and a hat as well.” “I bet Suzie will let me wear her blue cloche.” Briana said. “It’ll be perfect with this outfit!” “Just don’t spend too long asking. Can you be at the door and ready in ten minutes?” Veronica asked. “Yes Mom!” Briana scampered downstairs. As she predicted, Suzie was forced to bend her ‘don’t borrow my hats’ rule when she saw how cute it made the outfit. Briana was at the door with her coat and gloves on with five minutes to spare. Though Briana expected downtown to be empty, so early on a Sunday, there were cars and people everywhere. It took Veronica a while to find parking, they’d had to stop on every street to let pedestrians through a crosswalk. Stepping out into the softly drifting snow, Briana felt her cheeks and nose redden. It was inevitable with her super fair skin and would only add to her cuteness today. Indeed, she got a big smile out of Veronica when she took Briana’s hand and set out to the shops. The first stop was actually breakfast. Briana literally couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a real restaurant, which didn’t take the campus food card. Probably back when she’d first started dating Gary. With a pile of pancakes in front of her, seated in a corner of a cute Chaplin-themed breakfast place, Briana could tell the day was going to be magical. “I will be very impressed if you eat that entire stack.” Veronica said, daintily eating her grown-up scramble. It was full of weird cheeses and pesto. “Please be careful of your outfit. I have a diaper bag but not much for spare clothes.” “I won’t spill.” Briana said, drowning her pancakes in three kinds of syrup. “I want to everybody to see my outfit today.” “Are you feeling a little cooped in?” Veronica asked. “Yeah, I think so.” Briana said, packing an enormous bite of pancake into her little mouth. “Eh ehuh eahuh ih uhuuhl uhay.” “Briana Cassingham.” Veronica said sternly. “You know better than to talk with your mouth full.” A quick gulp of apple juice helped wash down the mighty bite. “Sorry mom. I said I didn’t realize it until today.” “Take smaller bites, honey.” Veronica said. “I should have realized you were too home-bound myself. We’ll make a point of taking you out more.” Briana cut a marginally smaller bite of pancake stack, remembering to talk before she mashed it into her mouth this time. “What about school? Is there any way I can go back?” “Are you missing the socialization or the classes?” Veronica asked. “The classes.” Briana said, after getting the second bite down. “I really like Microbiology. I was doing cool research too, with Dr. Vaughn.” “You’re so much more grown up in your conversation today.” Veronica said with a smile. “Is it just the clothes and being out?” “I don’t know.” Briana said. “That might be part of it. I also kinda feel rested.” “Hmm, well getting you signed up for classes isn’t a problem, we could do it tomorrow if we wanted.” Veronica said, sipping her mimosa. “My only concern is that I want you to be successful. Dropping in and out of a graduate program is pretty disruptive to research and your colleagues.” “If you think of a way, let me know.” Briana said. “I’ll try to think of something too.” “You seem happy enough wearing protection out with me right now.” Veronica said. “You’ve been worried about doing that at school before though.” “Hmm, maybe it would be okay.” Briana said. She pitched her voice a little lower. “But we were working on potty training too, right?” “Working seems to be the operative word there. Your progress has been a little uneven.” Veronica said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help as much as I’d like.” “I know you’re busy.” Briana said, giving mom a genuine smile. “Plus, you have to help Melody now. If you have to choose, help them first.” “You’re such a sweet girl.” Veronica said. “I’m fortunate to have you in my life.” (Santa Points +1) Briana beamed. The pancakes were getting cold, and Veronica was more than halfway through her scramble. She tabled further conversation for a bit so she could properly attack her four-stack of pancakes. Veronica, their waitress, and even Briana were surprised to see a clean plate at the end of breakfast. It was a good thing that Veronica wanted to go slowly on the icy sidewalks in her heels, because Brian was completely stuffed. The sedate pace was great for window shopping too. They got to see all the Christmas decorations and listen to the carolers that had set up on Main Street. Some of the presents were easy to get. A grumpy owl plushie for Arthur and a nice silver bracelet for Tamira were no-brainers. Suzie wanted chocolate for literally every occasion, so a trip to the fudge shop handled her and Erin both. Other presents were harder though. Briana had no idea what to get Gary, or her immediate family for that matter. Especially Veronica, since she could hardly buy her mom a present while she was standing right there. They paused to let a group of parents sort out a very squirmy group of kids. The parents were busy making sure that every kid had exactly one hat and pair of gloves, even if it wasn’t the one the kid had started with. It was cute how many of the kids were dressed like their parent. While they waited, Briana caught her mom looking at the nearby shop window with more than just casual interest. It was a clothing shop, and probably one of Veronica’s favorites. Out of four mannequins in elaborate dresses, only one was wearing any color at all. Briana smiled and squeezed Veronica’s hand, getting an answering squeeze. She looked up at Veronica and down at her outfit. It was super cute, but she didn’t match Veronica at all. “Mom?” Briana asked tentatively. “Would it be okay if I bought something for me?” Veronica smiled and nodded. “Of course, honey. You almost never get to go shopping. What caught your eye?” “The dresses in this shop are really pretty.” Briana said, turning to the window. “If we have time, I’d like to at least try one on.” “I love the dresses they have here.” Veronica said, indicating her black faux-Victorian dress with a sweep of her hand. “They’re pretty far outside your usual style though. What do you like about them?” “I want a dress that makes me look like you.” Briana said shyly. “Briana, is your goal for this shopping trip to make me cry?” Veronica asked happily, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. “No.” Briana giggled. “Is it okay? And maybe when I wear it, you could do my makeup like yours?” “I guess we’re getting you at least one outfit now.” Veronica said with an uncharacteristically goofy smile. As Briana had suspected, the ladies in the store knew Veronica well, and greeted her by name. By her last name anyway. It was weird to see everyone address Mom as Ms. Rasmussen. There weren’t many other customers in the store, since the dresses weren’t very Christmas-y. Out of boredom or for a favorite customer, the shop owner took them back to play dress-up with Briana. Ensconced in the backroom so that they could do quick-changes, Briana went through at least a half dozen outfits. Each outfit was quite complicated, with multiple accessories and shoes. After seeing Briana wobble dangerously on a pair of high-heeled-witchy-boots, Veronica and Briana both banned heels from further consideration. That was fine, there were plenty of cute flats and Briana liked being short. “It’d be easier to evaluate these outfits if we got her out of those leggings and into some black nylons or tights.” Said Wendy, the shop owner. “Are you alright with that, Briana?” Veronica asked. Though she’d already been stripped down to her leggings and bra several times, Briana hesitated. The leggings were tight enough that it was hard to say exactly what she had on under them. The slight bulk of her daytime diaper could be mistaken for Briana having a bit more butt than she actually did. Figuring that Veronica would have said no if she thought Wendy would be mean, Briana put her trust in her mom. “That’d be fine. There are some cute ones of those too. That second dress would look better if I was bare legged anyway.” Veronica gave Wendy a look that was unreadable to Briana. It must have meant something to Wendy, because she hardly batted an eye when Veronica took Briana’s leggings down to reveal the pale pink diaper underneath. “Ugh, pastel pink?” Was Wendy’s only comment. “We’ll need something more opaque than nylons I think, here, try these spiderweb pattern tights.” With the tights on, Briana was starting like a complete gothy girl. In just two more outfit changes they found one that everyone agreed was their favorite. A satin and velvet petticoat dress, with a high/low skirt, fit without need for alteration. It had a solid red layer under the black lace, giving it enough color to make Briana feel good about it. Veronica was in love with the layers of black lace and the velvet panels on the corset-style top. Wendy loved how well the outfit accessorized. In short order Briana had opera length gloves, a lace choker, and flat-heeled shoes with pointed toes to add to her ensemble. Looking in the mirror made her feel like she was in a costume to be an evil queen or a vampire. At least, it made her feel that way until she saw Veronica stand behind her in the mirror. They matched! Briana’s heart fluttered. She looked like she belonged next to Veronica, could even be her daughter. If they weren’t just four years apart in age, of course. Turning to Veronica, she gazed up at her in adoration. “Do you like it, Mom?” Briana asked. Too late, she realized Wendy was still there. (Santa points -1) “You look gorgeous. I want you to know that I don’t need you to dress like this all the time; I love your regular style.” Veronica said, apparently ignoring Briana’s slip of the tongue. Wendy wasn’t reacting either. (Santa points +1) “I love seeing you like this though. Especially because of what you said outside the shop.” Veronica said. “What’d she say outside the shop?” Wendy asked, curiously. “That I wanted an outfit that would make me look like her.” Briana said, taking Veronica’s hand. “Because she takes care of me, and I love her.” “In that case you’ll want to wear it out.” Wendy said. When Briana nodded vigorously, she added, “I can do her makeup if you want, Ms. Rasmussen. I have plenty of mine here at the shop.” “Is it alright if I put it on her instead?” Veronica asked quietly. “Of course.” Wendy said. “You two are adorable. Don’t worry about hiding your relationship in this shop. I’m poly, and my business partner is too, in a different arrangement. Whatever your family looks like, it’s welcome here.” “Thank you, Wendy.” Veronica said, with a gentle smile. “I’ll give you two some space. Makeup is by that back counter. Do you just want the one outfit, or is there anything else we tried on that you want to keep?” “We’ll take it all.” Veronica said. “Everything that fit on her, box it up and mail it to my house.” Wendy chuckled. “You’re going to put my girlfriend through college, Ms. Rasmussen. Thank you very much. It was wonderful to meet you, Briana. I hope we’ll see you again sometime, so you can surprise your mom with a cute new dress.” “Maybe!” Briana said. “Thanks Wendy.” While Wendy boxed up the outfits and rang them up, Briana sat for her makeup and watched Veronica. There was so much care in Veronica’s look of concentration. The two of them had become so close, so quickly. Even so, there was still a lot she didn’t know about the woman she called Mom. “Mom.” Briana said when Veronica had finished her lips and moved on to her eyes. “Are you rich?” “Hmm, I guess I did flaunt it just a bit there, didn’t I?” Veronica asked. “I try to be a little more discreet than that. Yes, our family has some wealth that has been passed down. We aren’t Rockefellers, but we’re very comfortable.” “I was just wondering.” Briana said. “I feel like there’s more I should know, if you’re my mom. You can tell me if I ask something that I shouldn’t.” “Briana, look at me.” Veronica said. She paused her eyeliner painting so that Briana could open her eyes. Veronica was squatting down, looking up at Briana. It was one of the most serious looks her mom had ever given her. “It’s your money too, darling.” Veronica said. Briana’s throat suddenly had a lump. She hadn’t become Veronica’s daughter for money. What was that line from Sabrina? Everyone would say what a fine democratic thing it was for rich David to marry poor Sabrina. But nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying somebody rich. “Th-that’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I’m really grateful that you took me shopping today.” “Listen to me, Briana.” Veronica said. “You are my precious daughter. I love you exactly like I would if you were my blood.” Furiously blinking away the tears that threatened her makeup, Briana sniffled. “I love you too, Mom.” “You’re my Briana, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re also a Rasmussen.” Veronica said. “You can be one on paper too, if you want. I could formally adopt you.” That did it. Tears spilled down Briana’s cheeks, shredding her eye makeup across her foundation. “Mommy… really?” Briana asked. “Yes, really. Would you want that? It’s a big deal to change your name.” “Not for me.” Briana said with a sniffle. “I mean, not a big deal to get rid of the old one. It’s just what the last foster family had.” “Do you want to keep your middle name?” Veronica asked. “I don’t know.” Briana said. “But I know I want to be Briana Rasmussen.” “Then you are.” Veronica said, stroking Briana’s hair. “We’ll make it legal as soon as we can, but that is your name from today on.” “I’m ruining the makeup you did.” Briana said, sobbing into an ornate black silk handkerchief. “Easily fixed.” Veronica said. “I do makeup like this every day.” By the time her makeup was redone, Briana was feeling an odd discomfort. It was so unfamiliar that she had to seriously think, before she realized what the problem was. “Mom.” Briana said urgently. “I have to go to the bathroom.” Veronica looked up from the makeup she was putting away in surprise. “Oh. Oh! It’s right through that door, honey.” Briana dashed for it! There were a lot more layers than usual between her and her diaper. It would have been a noble, but futile attempt, if Veronica hadn’t come in to help gather her skirt and get her diaper down. Sitting on the potty, Briana was surprised at how much she had in her. She’d somehow held it until her bladder was totally full. Said bladder was achy at being stretched for the first time in a while. “I’m really impressed, Briana.” Veronica said. “You held it just like a big girl – no, really like a young lady.” “I don’t know how I did it.” Briana said, just as surprised. “I just realized I had to go.” “You’ve been very grown up, mentally, on this shopping trip.” Veronica said, helping Briana get her clothes back on. “It’s weird. It feels good though.” Briana said. Feeling a sudden pang of fear, she quickly added, “It doesn’t mean I don’t need you, though.” “I know that, Baby Bee.” Veronica said. She patted Briana gently on the cheek. “This isn’t like when we were doing this for therapy. I’ll still help you with your issues, but as your mom now.” Briana relaxed and smiled. “What now?” “We still have shopping to do, but it’s getting late in the day. Let’s try two more stores and go home.” “Okay Mama.” Briana said. It was exciting to be out, dressed to match Veronica. Tempering that excitement was the puzzle of her big behavior. It was a little scary, mostly because it was unreliable. If she could manage to do this, she could go back to class. But what if it lasted a week and she was back to being baby-minded? Her distraction wasn’t so total that she forgot to look for presents. Though Veronica had said only two stores, Briana dragged her into a ‘Gifts of Japan’ store they saw on the way back to the car. It took some hunting through the jam-packed walls and shelves, but Briana found the perfect gift for Melody. An anime figurine set of the impromptu Mother/Father/Daughter trio from “Spy x Family”, along with a figurine of Ray from “The Promised Neverland”, were both statues that Melody didn’t have. Combining them would create Briana and Melody’s own impromptu family. Briana was pleased with herself all the way home. Even after hiding her presents away, Briana didn’t feel the need to revert to her baby self. It would be a shame to get out of her cool goth outfit without showing her sibling, after all. Briana bet she could get Melody to take some pictures. A knock at Melody’s door didn’t yield any response. Baby Briana would have crashed right in, but Graduate Student Briana was a little more considerate. “Melody, it’s Briana. I’m coming in, okay?” “Fine.” Came Melody’s sad reply. Briana stepped into the room and immediately moved to hug her sibling. Melody looked wretched. They were standing at their desk in a very soggy diaper and a t-shirt, listlessly shoving books and electronics into their school bag. At Briana’s touch, Melody dropped the bag and leaned into their sister. “I got you.” Briana said. She got a heartbreaking whimper from Melody in response. Since she couldn’t fix Melody’s real hurt, she just held on to her sibling, gently stroking their hair. “You’re different.” Melody said finally. They pulled back to look at Briana and their eyes went wide. “You look like Veronica.” Melody said in awe. Despite her sibling’s misery, Briana broke into a huge smile at that compliment. “You like my new outfit?” She did a twirl for Melody. “You look amazing. Wow.” Melody said. Briana frowned. She’d expected a meme-y quip of some kind. Melody’s voice was flat and soft. Their eyes were downcast and dull. “Didn’t Dad check on you?” Briana asked. “You’re not okay right now. You need a change too.” “I didn’t answer when Jane knocked.” Melody said grumpily. Briana sighed in exasperation. She put her hands on her hips just the way that Mom did. It felt good, authoritative. “Little one.” Briana declared, “I’m going to get you cleaned up and taken care of.” “You’re the little one.” Melody said. It was half a question. “Not right now. Come with me.” Briana took Melody’s wrist firmly. Her sibling stared back at her in disbelief. Melody pulled back. At her size, Briana had less than zero chance of dragging anyone with her. “Isn’t that diaper cold, soggy, and itchy?” Briana asked. “That looks like the one you had from nighttime.” “I guess it is.” Melody said in a huff. “Then come with me so I can change you.” Briana said. Melody hesitated one more time. They looked down and took a tentative step forward. Briana might not be able to pull someone by physical strength, but she knew quite a bit about exploiting momentum. As soon as Melody moved, Briana did too, keeping Melody’s arm taut. She had her sibling stumbling over to the drawing room changing table, before Melody could change their mind. “Up you go.” Briana said. Melody stared at Briana in silent confusion. “I can’t lift you.” Briana said. “Up. Now!” Hearing a sharp tone from Briana looked like it freaked Melody out. It got them up on the table though, post haste. “Give me your shirt.” Briana said, pulling Melody’s t-shirt up. She managed to get it off with minimal wiggles. With that done, she tore open the tapes on Melody’s diaper and disposed of it. Relief was immediately evident on Melody’s face. “What’s going on?” Melody asked. “You’re never like this.” “I used to be like this every day.” Briana said. “I don’t know how long I can keep it up, but I do know one thing.” “What’s that?” Melody asked, squirming as Briana wiped them clean. “I can do it long enough to take care of my sibling.” Briana said confidently. “But – I’m the big sibling.” Melody said uncertainly. “You’re my little sister.” “I’m your sister, period. Lift your butt.” Briana said, sliding a blue, Melody-friendly diaper under her sibling. “Just relax, Mel. Let your sister take care of you for a hot second, okay?” “Okay.” Melody said. They were crying again. Briana held off on the powder and gently stroked Melody’s hair. It took a few minutes for them to soothe. Softly humming, Briana wiped Melody’s tears and popped a pacifier in their mouth. The pacifier was clearly a big surprise to Melody. Briana realized she’d never seen Melody use one before. They took to it right away though, closing their eyes and relaxing. Briana took her time diapering Melody, making sure to incorporate a lot of loving touches. Back in Melody’s room, she got them into one of their sets of baby pajamas. This one was a dark green and had little gold bow and arrow motifs embroidered into it. “Is it the clothes?” Melody asked. “Can you do this because you’re wearing Veronica stuff?” Briana chuckled. “Why, because goth powers and mommy powers are the same thing?” “Maybe they are.” Melody said. “You look so different. What’s that shade of lipstick anyway, Blood of My Enemies?” Briana giggled. “That’s more like my sibling. Feeling better?” “Yeah but, I can’t just be a baby all the time. I have to go back to school tomorrow.” Melody said sadly. “That’s tomorrow.” Briana said. “Right now, you’re a baby in some of the cutest pajamas ever.” “They are pretty cool.” Melody said, pleased. “So uh, what now?” “I take care of you.” Briana said. “Are you hungry?” “You better not be offering to feed me the way that Veronica does you!” Melody teased. “Very funny.” Briana chuckled. “I wasn’t, and I can’t do that anyway. I actually don’t know how mom did it, now that I’m big enough to think about it. I guess it must be some kind of maternity medicine thing.” Melody shrugged. “I’m hungry I guess.” Briana considered her sibling. They seemed to be out of steam for thinking. They might want to be really little at the moment. As Briana knew well, people often hesitated to treat her as little as she needed to be treated. They were reluctant for good reason, of course, but a push didn’t hurt. “Since you brought that up, do you want me to prepare a bottle for you?” Briana asked. “That’s baby stuff.” Melody said, blushing. “Are you a baby right now, Melody?” Briana asked. “I don’t know – I can’t…” Melody whimpered. “Do you wish you were one?” Briana asked softly. “Yes.” Melody said. After a long pause they added, “Please, Briana.” Briana spotted Totoro on the bed and popped him into Melody’s hands. She was to the kitchen and back as fast as she could manage, warm bottle of formula in her hands. Melody spotted the bottle and squirmed nervously. Closing the door, Briana smiled at Melody. She helped her sibling get propped up on some pillows and offered the bottle gently. As soon as they began sucking on it, Melody closed their eyes. They got through the bottle steadily, finishing with a quiet burp and a cute wiggle. “Need a nap?” Briana asked. Melody nodded and crawled under the covers. Briana tucked her sibling in, singing a soft nonsense song in the melody of the Cloudland anthem. She knew from her own experience that Melody’s expression meant they were non-verbal for a bit. Unfortunately, as soon as Melody was asleep they didn’t need Briana anymore. Stress gathered in a tense knot at the back of Briana’s head. She felt herself wetting, without the slightest warning. It was still so hard to be big Briana. Asserting authority over Melody had taken a lot of energy too. After making sure that Melody was really asleep, Briana fled upstairs. “Mama?” Briana called as she searched Veronica’s suite. “It’s Dad.” Jane said from the bedroom. “Veronica is out.” Briana raced into Jane’s arms for a big hug. She pulled back and looked Briana over. “You look so much like your mom like that.” Jane said. “Do you like it? You’re very pretty that way.” “Of course I am, ‘cause you like goth girls.” Briana said, giggling. “Guilty.” Jane said with a chuckle. “What’s up?” “Did Mom tell you how I was big today?” Briana asked. “Yes. Are you running down from that now?” Jane asked. “Yeah.” Briana nodded. “Help me get little, please Daddy?” Jane knew exactly what she needed. In typical efficient fashion, she had Briana in a fresh diaper and a onesie in less than fifteen minutes. Even the makeup was scrubbed off, which Briana regretted a bit. “Can I play in Melody’s room?” Briana asked. “They were super sad today. I put them down for a nap. I want them to wake up with me there.” “You put Melody down for a nap?” Jane asked curiously. “Trying to steal your Dad’s job now?” “No.” Briana said, snuggling up to Jane. “Nobody can replace my daddy.” “Veronica told me you were especially sweet today.” Jane said softly. “I didn’t realize you were trying to make us cry.” “I’m not trying to make anybody cry.” Briana said impatiently. “I just feel really happy. Maybe it’s the holidays.” “OH!” Briana shouted, cutting off whatever reply Jane was about to make. “Oh Dad, can I tell you all the big girl stuff I did today?” “Sure honey. But calm down a little.” “But you have to hear it.” Briana insisted. “For Santa.” Jane laughed. “Alright, I understand. Go ahead.” Briana gave a breathless rundown of her morning, making sure to mention that she’d been super nice to Mom (Santa Points +1), used the potty like a big girl (Santa Points +1), told Mom she wanted to change her name (Santa Points +1), found the perfect gift for Melody (Santa Points +1), saved Melody from being sad (Santa Points +1), and finally stayed big long enough to help Melody get little again. (Santa Points +1) Once Briana was satisfied that Jane would inform Santa of all her good deeds, she had Dad help her collect some toys from her room and set her up in Melody’s bedroom. While Melody snored, Briana built more and more elaborate stuffie-towers on her sibling. (Santa Points -1)

Hello everyone, it’s been a while, and I’d like to try my hand at writing again. I know this particular concept isn’t exactly original, but I wanted to do something that doesn’t take place in the Diaper Dimension. This story ignores the Covid-19 pandemic, since I started writing it a long time ago before all that happened. I hope you enjoy what I have so far anyway! ############ Prologue: Day 7,118 Name: Emory Mason DOB: 21/07/2002 CIN: D14R5721 Citizen Lifestyle Assignment Sorting and Sectioning (CLASS) Result: Little Emory stares at the letter in disbelief. She feels numb. Hollowed out. She’s always been good at hiding it, making the profilers say whatever she wants them to say. It’s not hard, the questions are pretty straightforward, the answers easy to manipulate. Or at least, they had been until now. Her eyes burn, tears welling up, making the letter impossible to read--not that it matters now anyway. She’d been a fool to think she could manipulate the results of the most comprehensive, and thorough personality test ever conceived. Although, she thinks, there was more to this test than the basic questionnaire she’d filled out every year at school. Those had been simple things, designed to help the teacher understand their class. The actual CLASS exam had been a different beast altogether. There’d been bloodwork, physical ability tests, cognitive assessments...much more than she’d been expecting. She’s always done well in school, and although she’s no athlete; she’s too small and underweight to really be able to participate in sports, she likes to think she’s in good shape. But in the end, it’s the bloodwork that has given her away, her body has betrayed her in ways she hadn’t anticipated--enzymes and hormone levels can’t be fabricated, not without drugs, and a positive drug test before Classification is an immediate prison sentence. “No…” Emory whispers quietly. Her life is ending. All her careful answers to the questionnaires, all the effort she’d put into studying and getting good grades to get into a good university...all wasted. Her parents will disown her--they’ve made no secret of their hatred for Littles, they see them as inferior, a drain on the resources of society. All her friends are either Neutrals or Caregivers, but all the Caregivers are spoken for, and none of the Neutrals are at a point in their life where they can foster her until she finds a permanent placement. The only other Caregiver she knows is her roommate, Melody, but Melody’s never said anything about having a little, so that might not be an option either--she might not even want one... Emory might be able to continue her university education, but not without a Caregiver to sponsor her, and she certainly won’t be able to live unsupervised, like the adult she’s so desperately worked to become. “No!” She howls, and crumbles the letter into a tiny ball. Not that it matters, not really, every Federal, State, and Local agency already has her classification on file--the letter is really just a formality. She’s had her phone on silent, delaying the inevitable as long as possible until now, but she can’t hide from the results anymore. That realization is like a sucker punch, knocking the breath from her lungs and tying her stomach into an anxious, aching knot. She flops bonelessly onto the sofa, hugs a pillow to her chest, and sobs. The weight of her despair is crushing, the ache of her dreams being shattered winds around her chest like a band, squeezing the life out of her. Emory fumbles for her phone, crying and shaking so badly that she can barely dial the number she needs. “Hey, Emmy, I just got done at work, is everything okay?” Emory sucks in a shaky breath, forcing herself to control her breathing so she can speak. “Mellie, you gotta come home…” she chokes out, hiccupping. “Em, you sound really upset, what happened?” Melody’s voice is unbelievably tender and gentle, and the bands around Emory’s chest loosen a little. “I got my results today…” “Oh? Were they not what you expected?” “I’m...I’m a Little…” Emory manages to explain, before bursting into tears again. She’s said it out loud now, so it’s real, and definitive and inescapable. “Okay. It’s gonna be okay, Emmy, I promise. I need you to listen to me very carefully though, alright?” Emory nods, then realizes that Melody can’t actually see her. “Mhmm.” “I put an Emergency Littles Kit in the medicine cabinet. It comes in a bright blue box with a white ribbon on the front, like a Christmas present. I need you to get it for me and open it okay? I’ll be right here with you the whole time.” “O-okay…” Emory forces herself to get up and go to the bathroom; her legs feel like they’re made of lead. She opens the medicine cabinet and takes out the box. Inside the box are four round candies that look kind of like lifesavers, one each of green, yellow, purple, and a clear one. There’s a chart on the inside of the lid, with the color of the candies and a corresponding string of letters and numbers, but it’s indecipherable to Emory. “I’ve got it Melody…” Emory sniffles, sitting down on the closed toilet lid. “Good. You’re doing such a wonderful job Emmy. I need you to taste the candies and tell me which one you like best. If you don’t like one, you can just spit it out into the garbage, okay?” “Okay. Here goes…” Emory says, swallowing nervously. The green and yellow candies taste horrible, and she spits them out immediately. The purple candy tastes incredible, and she feels a little less awful after eating it, though she does wish there were more of them. The clear candy is completely bland--not as bad as the first two, but she spits it out anyway. “I’m all done. I really like the purple one, but the green and yellow ones were nasty. The clear one didn’t really taste like anything.” “Alright. I’m going to be home in five minutes. I want you to go into the living room and turn on Super Squad; you like that show, right?” “Yeah…” Emory frowns. She’d never really thought anything of her interest in the childish TV show until now, and it irritates her that she’d been so oblivious. “Good. Just try to relax and wait for me to get back, alright? I have to go so I can drive.” “Okay...I’ll see you when you get back, I guess. Drive safe.” “I will. See you soon.” Melody replies, and then she hangs up. A fresh wave of tears rolls down Emory’s cheeks at the silence, and she shuffles out to the living room to follow Melody’s instructions. She curls up on the couch dejectedly with her pillow, trying to focus on the cheerful music and whimsical nature of the cartoon, but it doesn’t really help all that much--she’s too busy catastrophizing, imagining all the ways her life is about to be upended. She feels so incredibly alone and vulnerable, and the only thing she can do is watch TV and cry about it. After what feels like a lot longer than five minutes, Melody is kneeling down in front of Emory. “Oh, sweetheart...you’ve had a rough day, haven’t you?” Melody says, in the same gentle, lilting voice she’d used on the phone. Her face is kind and understanding, her brown eyes warm and inviting. She’s put her hair up today, in a messy bun. Her hair is a slightly darker shade of brown than Emory’s. She opens her arms for a hug, and Emory lunges into her arms, bursting into tears all over again. “Mellie...What am I gonna do?” Emory presses her face into Melody’s chest. She’s probably getting Melody’s shirt all snotty, but Melody only holds onto her tighter. She smells like baby powder and vanilla, and her embrace is warm and safe. At least for now, Emory doesn’t feel quite so terrible. “Shhh, honey.” Melody reaches underneath Emory’s shirt to rub her back. The skin-to-skin contact is soothing, and it helps to ground Emory amidst the swirl of emotion she’s feeling. “One thing at a time. I know this must be pretty scary for you, but I promise, it’s gonna be okay. First, we’re gonna cuddle here for a little bit until you’re calmer. Then, we’re gonna get you in a nice warm bath, and then we’re going to go to the store for some things, okay. We’re not gonna worry about anything else for right now.” Emory wants to protest, to say that of course she’s worried about literally everything else, but she doesn’t. Melody seems so sure that things will work out, so in control of a situation that’s completely unfamiliar to her, it seems foolish to argue. “Okay…” Melody rocks them for a bit, continuing to rub Emory’s back. The fact that Melody is so much bigger than her had always bothered Emory, because she’d wanted to be seen as an equal, which was hard to accomplish with Melody being so much taller than her. But now, it’s not so bad, since Melody can easily hold her. As much as she wants to deny it, Melody’s affections really are helping to calm her down. Melody stands and carries Emory into the kitchen, before sitting her down on the counter and filling up a glass with water. “Here,” Melody says gently. “You must be thirsty.” Emory nods and drains the glass; she hadn’t realized that she was thirsty until Melody’d mentioned it, and she drinks a second glass, then half of a third for good measure. “Thanks. I guess I was really thirsty.” “You’re welcome. You said you liked the purple candy?” Melody asks as she puts the used glass into the sink next to Emory. Emory nods, smiling a little at the memory of the taste. “It was really good! There was a chart on the inside of the lid, but I don’t know what the codes mean.” She reaches out to hold onto Melody’s shirt, keeping her close. Even the little bit of distance between them now seems like too much, like the world might just swallow her up in her newfound helplessness. Melody smiles gently and presses a kiss to Emory’s forehead. “That’s because those codes aren’t for you to worry about honey. Those are for me, so I know what to put into the kiosk at the Little’s Supply store--it will generate a shopping list for us to make sure we don’t miss anything. The candy should help you to feel a little more relaxed for the rest of the day.” “Oh.” Emory frowns as an awful thought occurs to her. “Will you take me to an assignment center? I know I won’t be allowed to live on my own, and I’m not sure if you even wanted a Little or not, so…” Melody raises an eyebrow, and Emory suddenly feels chastised and small. “Didn’t I just say that we’re not gonna worry about all that right now?” Emory looks at her lap, eyes welling up with tears all over again. “Yeah. Sorry.” Melody smiles and lifts Emory onto her hip. “It’s okay, sweetheart. And no, I’m not going to take you to an assignment center, those places are horrible. I don’t have a Little, because I haven’t really bonded with anyone in that way yet. Taking on a Little is kind of a big deal, you know, it’s a big commitment and a lot of responsibility. Caregivers are required to do lots of stuff to make sure Littles are taken care of, and if things don’t go well, we can end up in a lot of trouble.” “Really? I didn’t know that…” “Yeah. Mostly it’s just to make sure that Littles aren’t taken advantage of or abused. If someone takes on a Little, then they’re required to provide for them, just like you would for a child. There are things to help with all that of course--the government gives out a pretty hefty stipend to make sure people have enough money to get what they need, but it doesn’t always get used for the things it should be. Some Caregivers are only after status, and they’ll use the money on themselves and neglect their Little in the process.” “Oh.” Emory nibbles her thumb absently. “That seems pretty scary.” “Not really. It’s just something you’ve gotta take seriously. Sometimes Littles and Caregivers will have to part ways like if the Caregiver gets sick and can’t be responsible for the Little anymore. But outside of really serious stuff like that, it’s very difficult to separate from someone once you’ve made that commitment, at least legally speaking.” “Is that why you don’t have a Little yet?” Emory wonders. “Partly. I don’t want to let anyone down, you know? I mean, I know I can handle it, it’s just a lot to think about before making a decision. And, not all Caregivers are the kind who want Littles. Some people just like to help others in need--a lot of firefighters and police and stuff are Caregiver types. And, not all Littles need to have a Caregiver around all the time--it really depends on the person.” “Wow. That is a lot to think about.” Emory plays with Melody’s hair thoughtfully. “But don’t worry. Right now, I’m going to take care of you.” Melody heads back into the living room and then sits down on the couch with Emory in her lap. Do you mind if I read your letter? I’m gonna need some info from it for when we go to LS later on.” “Sure.” Emory uncrumples it as best she can and hands it over. “Does it say anything bad? I don’t really understand the technical stuff.” Melody is quiet for a moment while she reads, pausing occasionally to take notes on her phone, and then she smiles at Emory. “No, it doesn’t. It basically just says that you’ll be required to have supervision at all times. It also says that you’ll need diapers if I’m reading the section on bloodwork correctly--the rest of that stuff at the end is just info for the machine at the store.” Emory frowns and folds her arms. “How is having to wear diapers not a bad thing? What if I don’t want to be supervised all the time?” “The supervision is for your safety, and as far as the diapers go, you might not need them right away, but it’s indicated in your letter. You don’t want to be having accidents all the time do you?” Emory frowns. “No...but I’ve never really had a big problem with that.” “That’s part of why getting Classified is so important. You wouldn’t want that to be a surprise, would you?” “I guess not. But I haven’t had any accidents for a long time. I don’t see why it would just suddenly become a problem now.” “It’s different from person to person. Some Littles have accidents all their lives, and some only start having them after classification. The genetic markers in your bloodwork that identify you as a Little all activate at different speeds for different people. You might not be having problems now, but they’re coming, and it’s better to be prepared, right?” “Yeah...I don’t want to be a Little though.” “I’m sorry sweetheart. But there’s nothing that can be done about it. Just like you can’t help how tall you are or what color eyes you have. It’s not a terrible thing though, I promise.” “It’s not fair.” Emory points out. “I know. But that’s the way it is. Thank you for letting me read your letter. I know it’s a big adjustment, but I really think you’ll be happier once everything isn’t so new and different to what you’re used to. And I’m gonna be here to help you too.” “Thanks…Won’t you be in trouble at your job though? If you’re here with me?” Emory wonders. “No. There are all kinds of legal protections for Caregivers who live with someone who gets classified as a Little. They don’t last forever, but there’s nothing to worry about yet. I don’t actually need to go into the office anyway, it’s just nice to get out of the house sometimes.” Emory lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and rests against Melody’s chest. Her future is still very uncertain, but knowing that Melody will be with her makes it a little less terrifying. “You’re very welcome, munchkin. Now, what do you say we get you into a nice, warm bath, and then we’ll get ready to go to the store. Sound good?” Emory nods, nibbling on the thumb of her free hand. “Yeah.” And then, before she can stop herself she says: “Will you stay? I don’t wanna be alone right now…” Melody scoops her up and settles her on her hip. “I’ll be right here with you the whole time. I know this must be really overwhelming for you. Just relax and let me handle everything okay? We’ll talk more about what to do next in the morning; right now we’re just going to try and relax. You just do what feels natural to you, okay, I’m not going to judge you or tease you.” Emory slips her thumb into her mouth experimentally, cheeks heating up in embarrassment, but Melody doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest. She feels a few soothing pats against her bottom, and she just relaxes into Melody, feeling safer than she has in a long time. She’s conflicted--she knows she should be mortified, appalled at herself even. But, all the same, she...isn’t. Emory’s life has been turned upside down in an instant, and if Melody is volunteering to navigate this crazy situation for her, maybe it’s best to just let her. And besides, maybe knowing her...tendencies as a Little will be helpful in the future. “Do you want bubbles in your bath tonight, Emmy?” Melody asks, setting Emory down on the floor so she can begin filling the tub. “Yes please.” Emory says around her thumb, taking hold of Melody’s shirt again. She squirms, the tiles are cold against her feet, and her bladder has begun signaling that it’s probably time to start heading for the toilet. It throbs painfully, and Emory can feel her eyes welling up with tears all over again. “Mellie, I gotta-” And that’s as far as she gets before her bladder throbs again, and then she’s wetting herself, liquid splashing down the inside of her thighs and dripping onto the floor beneath her. She just stands there, wet and pathetic and horrified by what she’s just done. Sure, she’s had her share of close calls, but she hasn’t actually had an accident like this since she was a little kid. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Accidents happen, it’s not a big deal.” Melody pulls Emory into a hug despite her wet clothes, and Emory is eternally grateful for the comfort. Melody’s statement doesn’t feel very true to Emory, but it’s easier not to be so upset about it since Melody isn’t bothered by it. “Okay, Emmy, I need you to put your hands on my shoulders so you don’t fall, alright? I’m gonna help you get out of these wet clothes.” Melody’s voice is soothing and gentle as she helps Emory to get undressed. Emory’s beginning to feel like she’ll never stop crying at this rate. “I can-I can do it myself…” She hiccups and tries in vain to stop the flow of tears. “Shhh, babe, it’s okay.” Melody soothes. “I know you can. But, I’ve got it this time, okay? Emmy, please, just let me help you.” Emory doesn’t really feel embarrassed at being naked in front of Melody; it’s not the first time it’s happened, and anyway, she mostly just hopes she doesn’t pee on the floor again. The air in the bathroom is cool against her skin, and she shivers, hugging herself for warmth. “Come here,” Melody says softly, gathering Emory to her. She presses a kiss to Emory’s temple. “How are you feeling right now?” “Lost. Scared. Angry. Confused...Sad...It’s a lot. I had my whole life planned out, a good career, a nice apartment on the ritzy side of town...But it doesn’t matter now.” “Just because you’re a Little, doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. Sure, you might not be able to live on your own or do certain jobs, but there’s plenty of stuff out there for you if you want it.” “But-” Emory begins to protest some more, but Melody interrupts by taking her by the shoulders and giving her a serious look. “Shh. No more ‘buts’. I know you probably have tons of questions, and I will answer all of them, tomorrow, after you’ve had a good night’s sleep. This is how things are now, and you can either spend your energy worrying over how things are going to be, or you can try to be open about the experience and take things as they come. I promise you, I won’t let anything bad happen to you okay? So try to relax. I’ve got you.” Melody presses a kiss to Emory’s forehead, probably to emphasize her point. Emory nods. “Okay.” “Is this a good temperature for the water?” Melody asks, as she adds the bubble bath solution to the tub. Emory tests the water, and is pleasantly surprised to find that it’s just the right temperature. It usually takes her a bit of fiddling to get the water how she likes it, and Melody has nailed it on the first try. It’s a small thing, but it makes it a little easier to put her trust in Melody to look after her. “It’s just right,” Emory says with a smile. “Good,” Melody answers, smiling back at her before lifting her into the tub. “Do you want to wash on your own this time?” It’s a simple question with monumental implications. Emory sucks on her thumb absently, thinking. The warm water has eased her stress levels a bit more, and she’s beginning to realize how worn-out she feels. She thinks back to what Melody’d said earlier, about experiencing this new reality and taking things as they come, and she makes her decision. “Could you do it please?” Emory says around her thumb. “Sure thing! You just sit back and relax. Thank you for trusting me little one, it means a lot to me.” Melody says, and reaches for the soap and washcloth. Part of Emory is irritated at the new nickname. But, if she’s being honest with herself, it makes her feel warm inside, and it’s not really all that embarrassing either. The cognitive dissonance is exhausting and it’s giving her a headache. She doesn’t have the energy to keep protesting and behaving like pre-Classification Emory would. So, she decides to just let Melody take charge for the night. Melody is very gentle when she scrubs Emory down, but not so gentle that it’s inefficient, and she even takes extra special care to avoid getting soap in Emory’s eyes. When she’s finished, she pulls the plug on the drain and wraps Emory in a big, fluffy towel before picking her up again. “Thank you Mellie. That was...really nice.” Emory says honestly. “You’re welcome sweetie. Now, let’s get you dressed, and we’ll head over to the Littles Supply. Do you want to get ice cream when we’re finished there?” Emory nods. Ice cream sounds like the perfect comfort food after a day like today. Melody brings her to her room instead of going to Emory’s and lays her down on the bed. “Stay still, okay munchkin? I’ll just be a sec.” Melody rummages around in her closet for a moment before getting a moderately-sized blue bag with the same ribbon on it as the ELK from the top shelf. She takes out a plain white diaper, powder, and some lotion, as well as a pastel purple onesie with a snap crotch. Emory fidgets, uncertain. She’s a little embarrassed, but she’s also very curious about how it’s going to feel to be in a diaper for the first time since she was a baby. “This will only take a minute, sweetheart. Try not to wiggle around too much, okay?” Emory nods and slips her thumb into her mouth again. “‘Kay.” She says softly. Melody puts lotion on her entire body, not just her diaper area, which she hadn’t been expecting. It’s hard not to squirm, since Melody seems to have a knack for finding all of her ticklish spots, but she does her best. The lotion has a very pleasant smell though, so she doesn’t mind. Melody doesn’t even ask Emory to do anything during the diapering portion of the process, she just lifts Emory by the ankles before sliding the diaper under her. She dusts Emory with powder before pulling the diaper up between her legs and securing it snugly with the tapes. The smell of baby powder and lotion in combination is incredibly relaxing, and it takes Emory a moment to realize that Melody is talking to her. “Are you okay?” Emory nods, giving an experimental wiggle. The diaper isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s definitely going to take some getting used to. Still, it’s not nearly as bad as she’d been afraid it would be. “Mhmm.” She answers. “It actually feels kinda nice…” “Oh? Well, I’m glad to hear that!” Melody says, before helping Emory to sit up. “Arms up, please.” Emory complies so Melody can dress her in the onesie, which feels strange, but like the diaper, it isn’t uncomfortable either. She smiles at the realization, maybe this won’t be so bad after all. Melody reaches into the bag and takes out a black pair of overalls and an oversized purple hair bow and helps Emory dress before tying her hair back in a ponytail. She takes a few items out of the bag and sets them aside--apparently there were different sizes of everything in, and they’d only needed what Emory was wearing. Emory looks at the pile and is kind of embarrassed to realize that the only size missing from the pile is ‘extra small’ and she hadn’t thought that she was that tiny… Melody helps Emory stand and guides her in front of the mirror. “All done, what do you think?” Melody wonders. Emory blinks at her reflection, her own blue eyes staring back at her. Her lighter brown hair is tied back with the oversized bow that Melody had taken from the bag, and she realizes that she looks like a toddler, only a bit bigger. She’s a little embarrassed to notice that the overalls also have snaps in the crotch, but other than that, it’s a pretty normal-looking outfit. She’d even go so far as to say it’s cute...And, as an added bonus, the diaper isn’t obvious at all, it’s the snaps in the crotch that give that away. “I like it. It’s comfier than I thought It would be, but walking around in a diaper feels a little weird.” Emory confesses, turning to look up at Melody. “I’m glad you like it. The bag didn’t leave me with many options, but you’ll have a chance to pick some things out at the LS. They make some pretty cute stuff, but it’s okay if you prefer the plainer side of the spectrum.” Emory shrugs. “I’m not sure what I’d like best...I’ll have to see what they’ve got.” She feels a little nervous at the prospect of going out in public as a Little for the first time, and without really thinking about it, she lifts her arms toward Melody, hoping to be picked up. It’s only after she’s lifted into Melody’s arms that it dawns on her what she’d just done. “Alright, little one, let’s get a move on. I’d like to get you to bed at a reasonable time tonight, and we have lots to do.” Part of Emory bristles at the thought of being given a bedtime, but she ignores it and says: “Okay.” Melody smiles and kisses Emory’s temple--Emory doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of being shown affection like that, and she snuggles a little closer to Melody without really meaning too. Melody pats Emory’s bottom; it’s something she’s done many times before, but it’s somehow more comforting now, and it makes it easy to put aside her fears of going out. “Don’t worry,” Melody says as she heads for the door. “I’ve got you.” *~*~*~*~* The Littles Supply store isn’t very busy when they arrive. Or, at least it doesn’t seem that way, as Emory spends most of her time looking at the ground. She still hasn’t gotten used to walking in a diaper, and she’s almost sure she looks a little awkward. She just holds Melody’s hand and tries to keep pace with her much longer stride. “Well hello there!” Someone says. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing?” Emory can feel her face heating up a little and she makes herself look up to see who’s speaking to her. There’s a lady sitting in a chair by the entrance with red hair, blue eyes, and a bright smile who’s waving at her. She’s got on a name tag that says ‘Beth’, with the Littles Supply logo on it. Emory moves a bit so she’s mostly behind Melody. The employee’s greeting doesn’t scare her, not exactly, it’s just that she feels kind of exposed, and she isn’t quite sure that she’s ready to be seen like this by people other than Melody. “Hi…” Emory answers, very quietly, giving the employee a small wave. “Aww, someone’s a little shy today. That’s okay. Would you like a lollipop or a sticker?” Emory shuffles forward a bit to see her choices, before looking back at Melody to make sure this is okay with her. Melody smiles at her and gestures at her to continue. “Go on sweetheart, it’s alright. Pick anything you like.” “You can have one of each if you’d like.” Beth whispers, like she’s letting Emory in on some big secret. Emory gasps a little in surprise without really meaning to. “Wow…” After a moment of deliberation she chooses a purple lollipop and a sticker that says ‘Superstar’ with a golden star wearing sunglasses. “Thank you.” Emory says in a small voice, and then goes back to Melody, taking her hand immediately. She hands the sticker to Melody once they’re inside the store. “Oh, is this for me?” Melody wonders. Emory nods. “Mhmm. I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of me. I’m really glad you’re my friend.” She feels like she’s said too much, but it’s too late to take it back now. “Aww, thank you sweetie.” Melody says, and puts the sticker on her shirt. She stops in front of the carts, some of which are much bigger than the usual-sized ones and looks at Emory. “Do you want to ride in the cart? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” “Yes please.” Emory says, she’s already feeling kind of drained from the day, and the less walking she has to do, the better. Melody lifts her gently into the cart. “If you want to get out to look at stuff, just let me know, okay?” Emory nods. Their next stop is the kiosk that Melody had talked about earlier. It’s kind of unassuming, just a big screen with a keyboard under it and a little printer beside it that has a sign above it that says: ‘First Time? Start Here’. Melody pauses to consult her notes, types a few things into the machine, and after a moment, the printer whirs to life and spits out a ribbon of paper. “Okay, we’ve got our list. Are you ready to get started?” Melody asks. Emory nods. “Alright then, Off we go!” Melody says cheerfully. The store is a lot like the other big-box retailers in town, but it sells exclusively stuff for Littles, everything from clothing to those giant inflatable bouncy castles. Their first stop is the section Emory has been dreading the most, the diaper aisle. There are tons of options to pick from, and although she’d rather not even be in this section, she knows that it won’t do any good to complain about it. She looks around at the packages and finds herself drawn to the ones with animal designs and some of the ones with spaceships and stars. “I like those.” Emory says, pointing to them. Melody takes a box of each of them and puts them into the cart. “Those are pretty cute.” Melody says. “We can have more delivered to the house in bulk, so we’re not gonna get a bunch right now. Do you see any other kinds you like?” Emory points out a few more that also get put into the cart. They head to the next aisle, one that has pacifiers, bottles and formula on one side, and various comfort items like blankets on the other. “You don’t need to have formula, don’t worry.” Melody says before Emory can ask. “But you are going to need a cup with some kind of no-spill lid. Do you want to pick some, or do you want me to just go by the designs on your diapers?” Emory shrugs, blushing a little at ‘your diapers’. It’s true, but it’s still kind of embarrassing to hear it out loud. “You can pick. I think I’d probably take forever, and I’m kind of tired.” “Okay. If you see anything you like just shout.” Melody says, and begins sifting through items and putting them in the cart. Emory lets her eyes wander before they land on a bottle with zoo animals that comes with a matching set of pacifiers and a very soft blanket. “Can I have that? Please?” It’s embarrassing to ask for it, but she really wants it, so she swallows her pride. Melody adds it to their rapidly filling cart. “Of course you can. Thank you for using such good manners, sweetheart.” She tosses in a few other pacifiers and clips for good measure. Emory smiles at the praise. They turn the corner into the next aisle, one that has carseats, some of which are just upscaled versions of seats for toddlers. “Wow...They’re huge!” Emory points out. “Yep. They’re meant to replace the actual seat in the car. We’ll just get a ticket and take it up front, and they’ll install it overnight. There’s a shuttle that will take us home, and we can come back in the morning for the car. If you were a little bigger, we could probably just get away with replacing the seatbelt with a harness, and you could still sit up front. but I think the full-size carseat is the would be the safest option for you. Do you wanna try some of them out and see which ones you like?” Emory feels a bit sad at the realization that her days of sitting up front are over, but nods. All of the seats are comfortable, but she settles on a black one with light blue cushioning. It’s got a cupholder, a built-in charging port for her phone and it even reclines. It’s a little on the pricier side though, and that makes her think of something else. “Um, Mellie? How am I gonna pay for all this stuff?” “When you got classified as a Little, there was an account set up in your name that’s tied to the ID on your letter. You’ll get a card for it later, but until you get a Caregiver, the government stipend for Little care will go into that account. All we have to do is put in that ID number at the register, and everything will be taken care of. Didn’t you read any of the info things they gave you at Classification?” Emory shakes her head. “Only the ones for Neutrals and Caregivers. I was so sure I wasn’t gonna end up as a Little that I didn’t bother with those.” She realizes as she says it that that lack of foresight is exactly the kind of thing one would expect from a Little. It seems so obvious now… “That’s okay. We can talk more about all that later. We’re almost done, we just need to get you a crib, a changing table, and some clothes. Unless you want to look at some toys first? I know you’ve got your computer at home and the Playstation, but I thought you might want to do some other things sometimes too.” “I have to sleep in a crib too?” Emory frowns. It doesn’t sound all that bad, but she feels like she should protest on principle. “Yes, babe. Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to get out in case of emergency, and I’ll put a monitor in your room in case you need something.” Mallory explains. “I can’t really have you up and roaming around the house if I’m not awake to watch you, at least until we Little-proof things.” Emory huffs. “I’m not gonna go around sticking forks in light sockets or eating the dishwasher soap thingies, Mellie.” “I know, but you aren’t really in Littlespace right now either. Once you get more comfortable with things, I think you might be surprised. Besides, you can keep your TV and stuff so if you wake up before me, you won’t have to sit in there and be bored.” Emory just pouts. “Do you want to look at toys after we’re done picking out your crib and changing table?” Emory smiles. Even before she’d gotten Classified, she’d enjoyed walking through the toy section just to look around, even if she’d only ever gotten her stuffed bear, Rufus, from there. “Okay!” It doesn’t take them long to order their furniture, but Emory lets Melody handle that part. She does hope that the people coming to install it don’t take a long time to do so though; she’s uncomfortable enough with all this without a bunch of strange people in her house... Emory stays close to Melody at first when they get to the toy section, since none of the toys for the really little Littles are very interesting. The shape-sorting toy seems like it would get boring pretty fast. She does like the blocks though, and gets a pretty big assortment of those. The aisle with all the Legos is the most exciting though, since she’d always loved playing with them as a child, and it’s really cool to see how complex some of the things she could build are now. She spends more time than she probably should browsing, and when she looks up to ask Melody if she can get a few things, she realizes that Melody is...gone. Inwardly, Emory knows that Melody wouldn’t abandon her, but she can’t stop herself from panicking. She manages to stave it off momentarily by remembering that she can just call Melody and ask where she is. But, when she pats herself down, looking for her phone, she remembers that it’s still on the floor at home. The gravity of being alone hits her like a freight train; now that she’s a Little, she doesn’t have many options for getting back home by herself. Without her phone, she can’t use a ride-sharing service to get home, if she’s even allowed to do that now, and she knows for a fact that buses won’t take unattended Littles either. She might even get taken to an Assignment Center. Her breathing picks up, and her vision blurs as she bursts into tears, her heart jackhammering away inside her chest. Before she can really start crying, someone’s pulling her into a tight hug--she knows it’s Melody by the smell of her perfume. “Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why all these tears, hmm?” Emory just cries, unable to pull herself together quickly enough to respond right away. She just holds on tighter to Melody. “Can you tell Mellie what’s wrong, little one? I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is.” “I c-couldn’t see you. An’ I got scared…” Emory chokes out. “I’m sorry little love, I thought you heard me when I said I was going to the next aisle over for a minute. You know I’d never leave you here all by yourself, right? Never ever.” That makes Emory feel a little better, and she feels kind of silly for getting so worked up over such a little thing. “I know…’M sorry I freaked out like that…” “You don’t ever have to be sorry for having feelings, Emmy. It’s perfectly okay to cry if you’re scared. Did you find anything you’d like?” Emory nods and gives Melody a watery smile before moving to show her what she’d been looking at. After picking out a few things, they move on to the clothing section. Their trip through the clothing section is by far the longest part of their visit to the store. Emory gets out to help Melody pick out some things--she gravitates toward the plainer, pastel colors, but Melody is definitely a fan of the more overtly cute stuff with designs and little sayings on it. Thankfully, she doesn’t pick out anything too outlandish. And that’s when it happens. Emory’s trailing behind Melody a bit, pausing to look at things, but always making sure that she can see Melody, when her bladder throbs. She suddenly regrets her decision to drink so much water earlier and she knows immediately that she doesn’t have long to get to a toilet. And, with the extra steps to undress because of the overalls, onesie, and diaper, she isn’t even really sure that she can. She squirms a bit and opens her mouth to let Melody know what’s going on, when her bladder fails entirely with a painful spasm, and she wets her diaper. She stands there awkwardly, brow furrowing at the unfamiliar sensation. She’d had to go even more than she’d realized, and she ends up rooted to the spot, hoping she can finish before Melody notices what’s happening, as unlikely as that is. The feeling of wetting her diaper isn’t bad, but it’s foreign to her, not to mention embarrassing. She’s glad to be wearing it though, since no one knows what’s happened except her, and maybe--probably--Melody. At least she hasn’t left a puddle on the floor… Emory looks up to see Melody in front of her, arms open for a hug, like she knows exactly what just happened. Emory doesn’t waste any time taking advantage of the offer. “‘M sorry…” Emory says quietly, fighting back tears for the umpteenth time that day. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Emmy” Melody soothes quietly, rubbing Emory’s back. “That’s what your diaper is for. It’s better than leaving a mess, right?” Emory nods. Melody reaches down to pat Emory’s bottom. “Your diaper can hold a lot more than that, but I understand if you want to get changed now. We’ve got a little time before the shuttle gets here to take us home, and they already set up delivery for your diapers, so we don’t need to do that. We can hurry and go to get ice cream after we pay, or I can change your diaper, but we might not have time for ice cream after that.” “But you said we could…” Emory feels her eyes welling up with tears at the thought of missing out on ice cream. She rubs them gently with her fists, trying to stop herself from crying again, and sort of surprises herself when she yawns. “Oh, little one, you’re so tired...I know I did. Can you wait to get changed until we get home?” Emory nods. A wet diaper doesn’t feel great, but it’s not terribly uncomfortable either. And besides, it’s worth enduring if it means she gets ice cream. “I can wait…” “Okay.” Melody says and fishes a tissue out of her purse. She holds it up to Emory’s nose. “Blow, sweetheart.” she says, and Emory does. Emory’s thumb drifts toward her mouth, but Melody stops her. “Oh no, Emmy, don’t do that, it’s icky. We’ve been touching lots of stuff that other people have handled, and I don’t want you to get sick. Do you want to try a pacifier instead?” Emory thinks about it for a moment, and then nods. No one has teased her or mocked her since she arrived at the store, so maybe she’s worried over nothing. Melody hunts through her bag for a moment before finding one, it’s the same shade of purple as Emory’s shirt.. She takes out a clip for the pacifier and clips it to Emory’s shirt for her. “There you go, sweetheart.” Emory gives it an experimental suck, and realizes two things: First, that it’s faintly vanilla flavored, and secondly that it’s way better than sucking her thumb. She suckles on it happily and smiles at Melody. “Thank you!” Melody chuckles. “You’re too cute. You’re very welcome Emmy. Do you want to walk, or ride in the cart to go back up front?” “I can walk,” Emory says, afraid she’ll fall asleep if she sits in the cart, and she doesn’t want to miss out on her opportunity for ice cream. “That’s fine. Hold my hand though, I don’t want you to get lost.” Melody says. “I’m not gonna get lost…” Emory protests. “Emmy, you almost got lost earlier because you weren’t paying attention. We’re not gonna do that again, okay? I know this is all very new to you, but I need you to listen to me.” “I can do it myself!” Emory responds, too loudly, and stomps her foot without really meaning to. She’s exhausted and out-of-sorts, and it’s so hard to keep a lid on her emotions when everything is so new and overwhelming. “Excuse me? That’s not a very nice way to talk to someone, Emmy.” Melody says, raising an eyebrow, and taking Emory by the shoulders. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. I know you can do it yourself, but I don’t think that’s a very good choice right now, do you?” Emory harrumphs and turns around to face away from Melody, too upset with everything to speak. She’s mad at herself for not being able to control her emotions better, mad at Melody for not letting her prove that she’s capable of doing things on her own, and mad at the Classification test for doing this to her. “I’m mad!” she says, like it isn’t already obvious. “That’s okay.” Melody says, and her calm, gentle voice is somehow even more irritating--a reminder of how grown-up and in-control she is, everything that Emory isn’t. “You’re allowed to be mad. Do you need a minute to calm down so we can talk?” Emory folds her arms and flops down onto her butt without answering. She’s grateful for her diaper, since sitting down so hard would definitely have hurt otherwise. She feels Melody’s lips against the top of her head. “Okay.” Melody says. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready to use your words.” Emory’s crying again before she can stop herself. She knows she’s made a mistake, but everything is so different and wrong and it’s hard to know what to do. She gets up and turns around to face Melody, sobbing and reaching for her. “Oh, honey…” Melody’s voice is almost a coo as she lifts Emory into her arms. “We’ve had a stressful day, haven’t we, little one?” She wonders, but she doesn’t seem to expect an answer from Emory. Emory presses her face into Melody’s chest. “‘M sorry!” she bawls. “It’s okay sweetheart, everything is forgiven. But do you understand why I want you to hold my hand?” Emory nods. “So I don’t get lost and scared again.” “That’s right. I don’t like seeing you so upset. Do you know what makes me feel better when I’m sad?” Melody asks. “Cuddles?” Emory ventures. “Yes, do you know what else cheers me up?” Emory shrugs. “Ice cream. Would you like to have some after we pay?” Emory nods. “Yes please.” “I think that can be arranged,” Melody says, and smiles at her before setting her down in the cart. “Let’s go pay for our things.” With their cart piled high with loot, they head for the registers at the front. Emory falls asleep before they get there, dreaming of ice cream.

Chapter 35 “Not a big deal, Jamie,” Ella told him for the third time. “It happens to me every once in a while.” “That’s different.” “Not that different.” Becky usually gave Jamie a couple hours of naked little time every week to give his skin a chance to air out. He’d forgotten he wasn’t diapered and peed on his chair. Becky found him trying to clean it up and had been very sweet about it, while Jamie had cringed in embarrassment. “No one cares but you. C’mon, think about something else.” “Like what?” “Six weeks from today, my parents will be here. Think you’ll agree that’s a bigger deal.” Ella was going to therapy three days a week in preparation, rehearsing different scenarios with Mary to prepare her for all of the possible reaction she and her family might have to each other. Sometimes Stacy participated, and sometimes not. Jamie hadn’t participated, but he spent time thinking about it now and again. “What else do you need to do to get ready,” he asked. “Not a lot. I think Stacy has met with the lawyer more and sort of lined things up for any eventuality, but she doesn’t say much about that. I asked, and she just said we’d go see him together again before they get here ... I do wanna change my room some before they get here.” “Don’t want them to see certain things?” He felt the same way about Cheryl’s first visit. He’d not cared leading up to subsequent visits. “Yeah. I think some of the larger furniture I’m just stuck with, but some of the decor can be changed easily enough.” She didn’t see why her parents needed to know a mobile helped her fall asleep at night. “Will you change it back afterward?” “Depends, I guess. I may like the changes.” She hadn’t changed the motif of her room in years. Perhaps she’d ask Stacy to just paint it all white, and they could start over after the visit. Stacy would like that, the implication Ella would still be there afterwards. “You can store any stuff you don’t want them to see here,” Jamie offered. “Where will they stay?” “There’s a hotel that accommodates littles. The lawyer booked some rooms there.” That made Jamie wonder how much this was costing Stacy - the lawyer, the therapist, the hotel, and presumably a car service for her family, too. It all had to add up to a lot of money. She might even be paying for their travel to and from the dimension, an expensive trip. The cost of transports was one of the main reasons littles tended to be adopted almost exclusively by families who were relatively well off, especially with all the other costs littles came with. It was cheaper in other countries, but Itali’s insistence on security measures to make sure transports weren’t hijacked or littles lost drove up the cost, though no one disputed the necessity of it. Pirates avoided Itali transports and those of other Alliance members. “What about you,” Jamie asked. “Are you ready yet, do you think?” She was more guarded with her feelings than Jamie and hadn’t said much more about them since they’d last spoken about the reunion. “Trying to be. It’s all ... the lawyer said it’s best if we didn’t exchange letters or pictures in advance. I don’t even know what my youngest sister looks like. My parents must have some grey hair by now. They might not recognize me ... I can’t imagine how it will be, even with the rehearsals with Mary. It’ll be awkward, or we’ll all go to pieces. I don’t know. They might even be mad at me, ya know, some resentment. All of the above. Scared of me. Scared for me. Scared for themselves, with all these bigs. I don’t even know what they’re doing to prepare.” “I’ll be there, if you want, when you meet them. I’ll be there with you. We all could.” “Thanks, but I don’t think ... I’ll think about it.” She could use the support, but surrounding herself with more bigs might just make it all more intimidating for everyone. Mary and the lawyer would be on call. Ella didn’t see how Becky’s presence would help. She could be too much of a big. Manda might help; she had much better instincts for what an unregressed little needs. “Whatever you want. You can even meet them here, sort of neutral ground,” Jamie suggested, “for the first time.” That was a thought. Neutral ground had been suggested, even the idea of meeting at the hotel. The lawyer wanted to be there, and Ella had said no, but she was wavering on it. “I’ll think about it ... what about you and Manda and finding a place?” “We’re going to decide soon. Looks like it’ll be a one-bedroom.” “So she’s set on moving out?” “As far as I know. I wouldn’t mind if she waited until the next semester, but it’s her calendar. She stills owes me a trip together, just the two of us.” “Forgot about that.” “Alright, littles,” Amanda interrupted them as she and Mel stepped outside. “You guys ready to go?” “Yeah,” Jamie said, “I just need ...” “Pants?” “How about you, Ella,” Mel asked. Ella felt her diaper. “I could use a change.” Inside, Amanda and Mel saw to their charges. “Hello, Jamie,” Amanda said as she’s held out his shorts for him to step into. He looked spacey. “You with me?” “What?” “Pants...” “Oh. Sorry, I was thinking.” “About what?” “I was, um, thinking that, um, today would be a good day to wear, uh, my skirt. If that’s alright.” “Okay!” Amanda wanted to be purposefully enthusiastic without being patronizing. She’d been pretty ambivalent about his recent choice of clothes at first, but she’d begun to hope he’d want to wear at least the skirt outside their home eventually, and she was determined to make him feel confident in doing so. She swapped the shorts in her hand for the skirt in his drawer and held it out for him to step into. She pulled it up his legs and seated the waistband on his hips. “How does that feel?” “Comfy.” Jamie liked the way the waistband was wider than on his shorts and that the elastic stayed comfortably in place without a belt. His shorts with an elastic waist frequently slid down his butt. “How about inside? Feeling confident?” Jamie considered for a moment. He didn’t feel not confident. He just felt a little self-conscious, a little nervous. “Kinda,” he answered. “All your favorite people are here. You’ll be alright.” She gave him a kiss and held out her hand for him to hold. Becky, Mel and Ella were waiting in the living room. “Are we ready to go,” Becky asked, noting and choosing not to say anything about his outfit. It was a snug fit with all of them in Becky’s car, with Mel wedged in between the car seats in back. Ella kept stealing glances at Jamie’s ankles. She hadn’t seen him dressed like this, and he was more nervous about her reaction than anyone else’s, but he didn’t know anyone else where they were going. The closer they got to the farm, the more nervous he grew. Not a running-away kind of nervous, just a skittish kind of nervous. Ella didn’t want to ask any questions in front of the bigs. She didn’t mind. She was just curious, and she wondered whose idea it was. Jamie had never mentioned anything about it to her. She could see it being a big’s idea, but that didn’t seem like Jamie’s bigs. From what he could see, Jamie recognized the general direction of where they were going. They crossed the river and turned down a gravel road, the white rock a ribbon switchbacking up a hill and along its crest before descending the other side into a shallow, wide, U-shaped valley with an ornate farmhouse villa at the closed end of the U. The orchard and other fields lay in front of the house, stretching most of the way to the open end, with out buildings scattered throughout. Becky parked in the gravel drive, dusty and already filling up even though it was just becoming mid-morning. Mel unbuckled Jamie and Ella but had to wait her turn to get out. Becky and Manda each took a stroller, while Mel grabbed the backpack carrier, which held the basics of a picnic lunch. The five of them walked to the wooden shack that served as a ticket booth, and Becky paid. Mel was self-conscious about that. She was spending a lot of time with Amanda’s family, and Becky always picked up the tab. She understood better what Amanda had meant all those years about it feeling awkward having her things paid for despite being an adult, though Becky was well able to afford it, and Manda at least had the excuse of being Becky’s child. She would need to get a job, any job, soon if she couldn’t find a real one soon. “So how does this work,” Ella asked when she’d been handed a small basket. She knew people did this back home, and she didn’t entirely get it. Spending a day outside in a pastoral setting made sense, but she didn’t understand why people paid to be farmhands. “You fill up the basket, they weigh it, we pay for it, and then we can take them home and eat them,” Amanda said. So it’s like the grocery store with vines and no air conditioning, she thought. It didn’t look not fun. It just looked like an odd version of fun. Whoever thought of this form of recreation, she imagined, must be a genius. She nodded discreetly at Jamie; they’d become quite skilled at non-verbal communication around bigs, and the two of them walked a little further ahead. She chose an aisle of vines at random and turned down them. The vines reached to a little above their heads, which made them easy picked from, while the bigs had to stoop. Ella reached over and put a hand on Jamie’s hip, pulling him closer so they were touching as they walked. “It’s so cute how they’re an item,” Becky said. “Like a little boyfriend and girlfriend.” “Oh, look,” Mel said, not yet having adjusted to the knowledge they were lovers despite knowing for more than a month, “berries.” She distracted herself picking from the vines, not trusting herself to keep that secret if she got into a conversation about it with Becky. “She seems to be doing okay,” Manda said to her mom. “A little more relaxed than she was.” “Dr. Mary is a miracle worker,” Becky remarked. She sent her a card every Christmas picturing Jamie on Santa’s lap. “Her family is going to be here pretty soon. We should talk to Stacy about that, how we can help. Ella wants Jamie to meet them. And he wants to.” “Do you think it’ll be upsetting for him?” “No, I think Jamie will switch on that mini-big mode thing he does and be the social worker, at least at first. Or be the awkward boyfriend.” “When am I gonna meet your awkward boyfriend,” Becky asked. “He’s not awkward.” “You’ve been dating for a while now, and he hasn’t even come by to pick you up.” “It’s not that serious.” “So just a summer fling?” “Yeah.” That was partly a lie. It had begun as that, but it was feeling more like a relationship now. Manda wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She liked him, but there was already too much going on in her life. Bringing him more fully into her life, into Jamie’s life, seemed unwise with all that was happening. Still, she didn’t want to end it. Up ahead, Jamie kept growing quiet and tightening up every time someone walked by him. Ella noticed. “Jamie,” she said, “Can I tell you something?” “Of course.” “That skirt makes your legs look sexy. And your butt, too.” It actually made Jamie look like he had a butt, which even padded looked flat to non-existent in pants and shorts. “You’re just saying that.” She looked around to see if Becky was paying attention and reached her hand across tp Jamie’s opposite thigh, sliding her hand up its inside as high as she could without exposing him. “No, I’m not. I like it.” Jamie took in a deep, halting breath at her touch and pushed it out through his nose. “Thanks for saying so. It’s not weird?” “The good ship ‘Weird’ sailed a few thousand diapers and teddy bear sleepers ago.” “It’s comfortable. It fits better than my shorts, too.” “Because you have no butt. This sits higher,” she said, snapping the waistband that extended up to Jamie’s lower back. It was getting crowded no matter which aisle they went to, and their basket was getting full. Becky approached them. “You guys doing okay?” “Yeah. Think we almost caught out limit.” “And ate some, I see,” she said, noting the berry stain on Jamie’s cheek. “What about you, Ella, still feeling good?” She’d gotten used to checking on Ella often when they were out, making sure she wasn’t growing too tired. Stacy had told her Ella was good for about two hours standing or an hour walking before she had to take a break. Becky checked a little more often than that, feeling extra cautious because Ella wasn’t her little. “Yeah,” Ella responded, “I’m okay.” “It’s not quite lunchtime, but we can go get a picnic table, and there’s a playground.” Becky took a picture of the two of them walking hand in hand and sent it to Stacy, knowing it would make her day better. She sat at a picnic table with Amanda and Mel and watched the two of them approach the playground. Whereas Jamie liked to use the jungle gym equipment, Ella preferred sitting off to the side or by the sandbox. She couldn’t climb like he could, and she worried about someone running into her or her falling, especially because littles’ playgrounds are tall. She told herself watching was fun, too, though she had been an active athlete before her abduction. As she always did, she urged Jamie to go play while she sat and watched. It’s not easy playing on a jungle gym by yourself as an unregressed little. Jamie could only get so much thrill out of riding the slide. He looked on playgrounds more as exercise equipment, but when he could, he did enjoy playing on them with other littles. The chase made it fun. Ella watched Jamie approach two littles. She couldn’t hear the conversation, but it was apparent the two didn’t enthusiastically embrace Jamie’s request to play with them. He turned around and sat on the edge of structure. It was odd because littles tended to love playing with Jamie, recognizing on some level that he was unregressed and regarding him as a sort of older sibling. The bigs noticed as well, because Jamie rarely just sat on the playground, at least not before he’d run around some and gotten himself tired. He began to climb down, and one of the littles took just enough notice to reached out his with his foot and push against Jamie’s shoulder. He fell, landing on his heels and falling backward onto the playground mat, his head bouncing off the oft but firm surface. Becky, Manda and Mel raced over. Ella beat them there. “I’m okay,” Jamie announced. “Hold still,” Ella responded. She looked him over and didn’t see anything amiss except the wounded expression on Jamie’s face. “Baby, where does it hurt,” Becky asked. “I just ...” he propped himself up on an elbow. “My shoulder hurts is all.” “Can you stand up?” Reaching out a hand, Becky helped him up gingerly and took her hand away but kept it close in case he started to fall. “Are you dizzy at all?” “No, I think.” “Why did he push you,” Amanda asked. “He said the playground is for boys only.” Amanda’s face turned dark, and her eye brows arched like they were trying to escape from her forehead. Becky knew that look going all the way back to when Amanda was a toddler, and she knew it presaged an angry outburst. Behind them, a woman was sternly telling the two littles to get down. “Don’t make me come up there!” Becky paid them no mind as she picked up Jamie. When she turned around, the woman was marching to the two littles over. She had each one by the hand, and they each looked regretful. Becky put Jamie back down. “I’m so sorry,” the woman said. “Is he okay.” “Mostly,” Amanda snapped. Becky turned and gave her a let-me-handle-it look. “He landed on his shoulder funny and hit his head,” Becky told the woman. “I don’t know what got into these two, but I promise they will be two sorry little boys when their father gets home.” Jamie winced. Turning to the one who pushed him, the woman asked, “Why did you push him?” “Because he’s dressed like a girl,” the little said, sounding more indignant about Jamie’s outfit than sorry for what he’d done. The woman looked at Jamie again and noticed his attire. She pivoted and knelt down in front of her little, telling him, “We’ve talked about this. What do we do when other littles are wrong? We ignore them, remember?” Becky’s jaw dropped. Amanda stepped forward even as Mel reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “Fuck you,” Amanda intoned as she picked up Jamie from behind and put him on her hip, walking away without another word. The woman turned around, but Becky already had Ella’s hand and was walking away, followed by Mel. “I’m sorry, Jamie,” Manda was saying as she carried him to their table. “I really didn’t think that would happen.” “It’s not your fault.” “You know you’re right and they’re wrong, right?” “Yeah ... still hurts, though.” “Forget about mean people, Jamie Bear. Fuck that shit, right?” “Yeah.” He knew he shouldn’t internalize their negativity, so he tried to put it out of mind. Becky set Ella down on the bench and sat herself next to Jamie. Amanda let go as Becky picked Jamie up and set him on the table in front of her. She put her hand on the back of his head and ran it down his back, feeling for any bumps. “You sure nothing really hurts?” “Just my shoulder.” “How does it hurt?” “Aches.” “Nothing sharp? Hear anything pop?” “No.” “Okay. We’ll see how it feels tomorrow.” She leaned in and hugged him, kissing him and his boo boo. He blushed, looking at Ella. “I’m sorry, Jamie,” Ella said. “She’s a bitch, and her littles are shits.” Becky let the language go. It was a different set of rules for Ella. “They just don’t know better,” he said. “I feel kinda stupid now.” “Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She wanted to knock that little a new one, and his big, too. She knew Jamie wanted the opposite, for them to learn a lesson gently and be enlightened, but Ella knew, as Jamie did, that isn’t how the world works. He began to lower himself to the bench, and Becky helped him. Ella hopped down and held out a hand for him, he took it and got down as well. As the bigs watched, she led him back to the playground, where more littles were now playing, to where he’d been climbing down when he was pushed. Becky watched, and her appreciation for Ella grew. She didn’t always love Ella’s attitude, though she could understand it, and sometimes that attitude could spread to Jamie, but she knew that regardless of all that and the complication that came into their lives because of her presence, she was good for Jamie. His life was better, he was happier, he was more confident and caring and well-adjusted because of her. Becky understood on some level that it was Ella who had taught Jamie some of the things he needed to know about how to be a little, and she knew that it was Ella, along with Rosie, who taught Jamie how to interact with other littles. Amanda got up from the table and followed them. Jamie began to climb back up the jungle gym, and when he reached the top he turned around. Ella put her foot on the lower rung, and she and Jamie both realized it was too high for him to help her up. Determined, though, Ella turned around to wave one of the bigs over and saw Manda was more than halfway there. Wordlessly, she picked Ella up under her arms and lifted her to the platform, where Jamie took her hand. Manda kept a hand on Ella’s back until Ella had stepped away from the edge. “Thank you,” Ella said to Amanda, who just nodded. She walked a few steps away to a bench and sat. She didn’t hear what Ella was saying, but Jamie was nodding along, and when she stopped, she kissed him. “You’re really okay with all of it,” he asked her. Maybe it was because she’d missed the young adult years of her life. Maybe it was because she’d had very little experience with men. Or perhaps because she was so immersed in a culture where she wasn’t seen as a woman but as a little girl, and he wasn’t seen as a man but as a little boy. She didn’t think that was it, though. She was okay with Jamie wearing a skirt and not fighting back and having his Mom kiss his boo boo and his sister fight his fights for him, and none of that made her see him as any less of a man for all of that because she was simply a good person, and so was he, and none of the other stuff had any bearing on how she saw him, except as Jamie, or how she loved him, except as Jamie, and she wanted to tell him so. She had recognized his embarrassment, and wanted to tell him so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed or insecure. He should feel more confident and secure, Ella knew, because he was brave enough to be different, just like he’d been brave enough to come to the dimension, especially unregressed. “You’re my Jamie,” she said. “Of course I’m okay with it.” As Amanda watched the two of them kiss again, a real kiss this time, she wondered if they would be an item back in their world, if they were what they were because they were the only unregressed littles each of them knew. Not that it mattered. Mel sauntered over to Amanda. “You okay?” “Mostly,” Amanda replied. “Still upset?” “It’s just ...” she sighed and watched the two of them talking with a chubby little boy whose shoes were untied. “You know why Jamie came here. I just wish I could give him that, the kind of world he deserves, where people don’t hurt each other.” Mel squinted against the sun. “I don’t think there is such a world, but you do as good a job as anyone I know making this one come as close as it can.” “Thanks. That helps a little.” “Your mom says it’s lunch time.” Amanda stood up and walked to the playground structure. “Ready for some lunch?” She held out her hand for Ella. “We’re gonna take the slide,” she said. The two of them walked to the slide, and Ella sat down on the edge carefully. Jamie sat down behind her and put his arms tightly around her. “You ready,” he asked. “Uh huh,” she said nervously. A slide was exactly the kind of thing she envisioned herself getting hurt on, but she trusted Jamie to keep her from landing too hard. With a slight push, they disappeared down the tunnel and emerged a second later at the bottom, where Mel helped them to their feet. “Was that fun,” she asked. “Yeah,” Ella laughed. Becky had spread out bread, cheese, fruit, nuts, honey, and salami. It was a perfect light lunch for a day spent in the sun. As they ate, Jamie kept looking toward the woman and the two littles who’d been mean to him. They were sitting next to the woman, one on either side, while she talked to another big. It was obvious from their long faces they were in timeout. “Don’t worry about her, Jamie,” Amanda said. “She’s going to spank them when they get home,” he replied. He was angry they’d been mean to him and that the one had pushed him. He wasn’t angry about why, though his feelings were still hurt. They were regressed littles, which meant they’d had their minds reduced not only to a very young age but to the attitudes that were common when they actually were that age. In his job, before adopting himself out, Jamie had seen firsthand how there were many kids who embraced differences. It wasn’t universal, but it gave him hope for the future. He also knew, though, that such an attitude was a lot less common when he had been young, and even less common before that. As for the big and her attitude, he was angry at her. If anyone needed a spanking, it was her. She was at fault for not teaching them better. She was doubly at fault for teaching them worse. “I’m sorry,” Becky said. “There’s nothing I can do about that.” Mel had no problem with spanking. She’d swatted a little or two, and at least for the one who’d done the pushing, she’d have spanked his bottom right there if she could’ve, and not just a swat. She took being his Aunt Mel seriously. Amanda felt the same way Jamie did, but not as strongly. Ella felt just as strongly as Jamie did. She believed bigs had no business hitting littles, and her own history lent weight to that opinion. What made her different from Jamie was that whereas Jamie wouldn’t hurt a fly, Ella would’ve climbed back up that jungle gym and kicked that little’s butt. “Can I go ask her not to,” Jamie asked. “I don’t know, Jamie,” Becky said. “They are her littles.” She didn’t approve of spanking either, but she didn’t approve of people being mean to her Baby Bear even more. Not that that had anything to do with her reluctance to tell another parent what to do, but it didn’t help her overcome that reticence either. “Please,” Jamie asked Becky sighed. “You’re sure?” “Yes.” He didn’t want anyone to get hit, especially not on his account. “I’ll go with you.” The two of them stood up and walked over. The woman scowled at them, trying to hide it, not wholly uncalled for given Amanda’s words to her. The littles looked away. “Excuse me, miss,” Jamie said. “Yes, young man,” the woman said. Jamie couldn’t tell if she’d have called him that anyway or if she was trying to make a point. She seemed liked the kind of big who called littles things like that regardless. “I just wanted to say I forgive them for being mean to me and pushing me.” “That’s very kind of you.” “Do you think that, because I forgive them, you could punish them without spanking them?” The two littles turned toward Jamie, surprised. The woman looked from Jamie to Becky. “He doesn’t like it when littles get spanked,” Becky explained, “It only makes him feel worse.” “Well,” the woman said, “it’s not about making him feel better but about teaching them a lesson.” “But he didn’t even touch me,” Jamie said, nodding to him. “He was part of it,” the woman said impatiently. “This really isn’t any of your business,” the woman said to Becky, “and frankly, I don’t need advice from someone who lets their little boy where a dress.” The woman could call Jamie every mean thing she could think of, but insulting Becky crossed a line for Jamie. Rather than wait for Jamie to reply or to defend herself, Becky picked Jamie up and walked away. He did flip the woman the bird, but he wasn’t even sure bigs knew what that meant. “I’m sorry, Baby Bear. At least you tried.” They walked back to their table. “Any luck,” Amanda asked. “No.” “I’m sorry,” she said. “Where did Ella go,” Jamie asked. “She said she’s doing the shoe trick,” Mel said, nodding back toward her the woman. Ella was under her table, but they couldn’t see what she was doing. “What’s she doing? I didn’t even see her,” Becky said. “She’s very sneaky,” Jamie said, cheering up some. “What’s she doing?” “Tying that woman’s shoes together.” “What?!? Why didn’t you to stop her?” “She said she’s a grown woman and makes her own decisions,” Amanda answered. “Not gonna argue with that.” “Well, what if she gets hurt?” “Looks like she’s already done,” Mel said. Ella crawled out from under the table and kept crawling until she could stand up without drawing undue attention to herself. She was just another little playing in the dirt when she stood up and started walking back. “What happens now,” Becky asked “She stands up and falls on her face,” Jamie said. “Or more likely she doesn’t make it off the bench before falling backward.” “Have you two done this before,” she asked, half smiling and half scolding. “No, Mommy, never,” Jamie promised. “Love you.” “You naughty bear,” Becky called him. There was a tug at the hem of Becky’s shorts. She turned and looked down to find a little. “Hello,” Becky said to him. “Can he come play with us?” “Wanna go play, Jamie,” Becky asked. “Yeah. I would.” Ella reached them just as Becky set him down. “I’m gonna go play some more,” he said to her. “Wanna come?” “I’ll just watch,” Ella said. “You sure?” “Yeah. I’m kinda tired.” “We’ll keep her company,” Mel assured him.