emeraldcitybaby

1. Total Incontinence 2. Squirts from a Leaky faucet 3. Vague Amnesia 4. Heavy Bedwetter, consume too much THC to block nightmares for any dreams much less pee dreams 5. Permanent 6. Mild/Occasional Bowel incontinence 7. Yes

I've been wearing 24/7 for almost a year now, only wearing pullups when I'm out on hikes or doing other intense physical activity. The official anniversary date is Feb 7. I had been wearing 24/7 for a while before that, but it wasn't continuous, I would stop wearing when I ran out and try to go a few weeks or a month without. When I went fully full time I had already been wearing from Sept-NYE and I stopped for a few weeks after NYE bc I was trying to work out more. For several months of the past year I was listening to and following hypnosis files from sarnoga, champtheotter, and some other files for diaper dependence anti-potty training, or training/wetting amnesia. I have been listening to those regularly while wearing 24/7 on and off for months at a time since 2020. I have DID and I started doing this only to soothe the little parts of me (intially I was NOT ok with wearing diapers fulltime), but people with DID are generally more susceptible to hypnosis and we have been completely dissociating into the files so I don't really care anymore. Intermittently over the past year and when we were wearing before this year, we have trained with a smart watch timer to void at pseudo random intervals of 10-15 min. I've read a lot of threads here and I am familiar with the concept of spiraling. I think we had most of our spiraling period last year, as we only kept going back in the diapers during that time because we kept getting fatigued trying to maintain control. During that time, if I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, I could forget myself and start to let go, but I could also get control back. Then I started leaking in my underwear when I wasn't wearing, and I would wear liners to absorb it and keep me feeling dry. Well that only fed the hypnosis files, I started relaxing more because of that. I found that if I started to actually leak it wouldn't stop right away. Thicker pads, more relaxation. Try taking out the pads and I always smelled bad and I would end up being damp all the time. I could not afford to wash my underwear that often so I was going through pads pretty often. I never really wet the bed when I wasn't wearing but there were a few close calls where I would wake up realizing I wasn't wearing and have to clamp the pad to me or kink the hose depending on if I tucked to bed or not. All 2022 I basically fed OAB style bathroom habits if I wasn't wearing, I would have to get up every 20 min to pee, sometimes not even peeing more than a few drops, then dribbling into my pad when I stood up. I work at home so I can go as often as I needed to, and I used this to great effect. At the beginning of this year, I was basically fully diaper trained, if not nearly dependent. I could go without a diaper, but it was with a high level of misery and I had difficulty controlling my bladder. Most nights I was still waking up and purposefully wetting while still laying down. Wet or partially wet nights were not uncommon, but they were usually a result of waking in the middle of the night to relieve myself. I started getting more wet nights around May/June but I had a trip and that caused a small setback. Things accelerated through July as I had a severe regression fit and I started waking up positively soaked every morning, it was like once my body started letting go again after the trip it would not go back to how it was. I had my best friend over for 6 weeks during August and September and she was ok with me changing around her and thinks I'm cute in my diapers and it makes me and my littles want to melt. She slept in bed with me in my diapers and for the first few days I couldn't wet in my sleep, I was waking up dry. By the end of the trip I was so comfortable around her in diapers that I never had a second thought about wetting in bed with her or even cuddling. Since then, dry nights are measured per month. Once a month, twice a month. I don't know the last time I woke up fully dry and didn't flood it upon gaining consciousness as an automatic response to being in control of my sphincter and realizing how badly I had to go. I really feel like I have absolutely no control. I threw away my underwear when I went 24/7 so I can't even test my ability to hold it. I just don't think it's possible. I leak while walking from the bathroom to my changing spot. I can't start walking, sit down, or stand up without engaging the muscles that cause me to pee. While sitting here or walking I will get "random" urges to empty my bladder, but it's usually about 15min +-5min, or I got a vibrating notification from my watch. I can't hear water without peeing, I can't drink water without peeing, even the rain will make me wet in shock bc I trained myself to release when cold air hits my diaper area, so the feeling of a cold wet sensation on my skin does it. Even when I'm not feeling sensation of fullness or a reflex to release or squeeze, I am filling my diapers. I cannot count how many times in the last three months I have felt the urge to go from fullness only to leak bc I didn't realize my diaper was already full from leakage. Not that I care about leakage since I bought a couple washable Northshore mats--just fold it over to sit on a dry quadrant of it. Most of the time I don't even think about any of it, and if I do I always just go ahead and go through the mental and physical motions of releasing and immediately "forget" to clench. I've only had two major leaking events. Once I was at an Amazon Go wearing a pullup, forgetting it was just a pullup, and the other was the moment I put the car in park after a 4 hour drive and my bladder released in full with me sitting there. I leaked like a mf but it wasn't a normal leak, THE DIAPER FAILED IN THE FRONT! I was pissing like a racehorse and it was coming out a hole in the front panel that Idk how it got there. At this point, the thought of retraining fills me with dread, and I'm not sure it's possible in our situation given that we were diapered for half our childhood so the learned control wasn't the greatest to start with. I don't have the confidence to be out of diapers for more than a couple minutes unless I'm showering. I found a pair of old undies I missed when I threw everything out and I put a pad in and tried to go without a diaper for a little bit and I immediately flooded as soon as I dissociated. It was quite humbling bc I didn't even realize I was undiapered until I heard the dripping into the newly formed puddle, I was so used to being in a diaper I forgot that I had intended to try to go without. Am I upset about this? No, I got what I wanted or needed deep down, I suppose. Edit: Honestly it feels like it should have always been, what with the failure to train in childhood and the various times I was put back in diapers. I was always ashamed of it, but I was relieved whenever my guardians were upset, frustrated, or disappointed enough in me to put me back in diapers. It was like they were finally accepting OK yea you can't control this, even if by their words and microactions they clearly weren't accepting of it. I was told I shouldn't use them for pee, only #2, since "that was what my issue was", but I had been having issues with peeing too, which I was hiding easier than the poo, so any time I was put back in diapers the wetting control would go bc I didn't have to worry about it and then my messing would get worse so they'd take me out of them and work me through training again, but it wouldn't take for #2. Rinse and repeat until it finally sort of took enough for them to stop buying diapers. Anyway, I'm actually still trying to retain it for now bc I don't want to deal with total incon yet in daily life in the city, but I can already tell that my bowel control is weakening and is not long for this world, so there might be that update to look forward to at some point.

Ahhh life with ADHD. Forgot drink enough water and went for a walk, got very concentrated pee all rubbing up against everything, irritating it. Forgot to change my diaper when I got back home for several hours. Forgot I made and ate very spicy salsa with a couple habaneros when I got home. Forgot to wash my hands after handling the chiles or the salsa. Went to change for bed, have bad diaper rash. Check for lesions. pain pain pain pain pain What the fuck do you do if you get capsaicin in your diaper rash. Does anyone have a copy of the manual, is this in there? Pls send help. And a milkbath.

Find out how continent I still am and go without diapers, risking wetting the bed (idek how my overnight control is at this point), and have to have them stop frequently on road or Take a diaper bag and have very awkward conversations with my sparring partners? I volunteered for the event without considering the implications of it being an overnight trip. I suppose I could also arrange my own accomodations, but idk how that's gonna go over for people. I don't want to seem like I can't be around people. I'm pretty sure I couldn't make it through the day without a diaper at this point, the last time i was out of diapers for a while, I was using pullups and pads to keep from wetting things. I have no real faith in my control at night and I'm not sure if I should test it. These people don't know about this and it would be a new development for them and also they're literally sparring partners and while this isn't high contact, it will change their perception of me and therefore the force and things. idk. plurality is playing in here too bc this activity is from a part that doens't intersect with the ABDL parts in their public persona. I don't mind the actual act of telling them, but they still have to fight me after and I'm worried I'm gonna get kid-gloved and my training will stall.

I'll piggyback on this one to say Sleep Wetting, Comfortable in Diapers, and Bedwetter by Sarnoga, there's some anti-potty training ones that are on there that I think are from wohermiston. If you search baby bowels and bladder you can one that is similar to anti-potty training. I have a playlist of like 30 different files I keep on shuffle.

It's not discouraging! And we have some complications in our bladder and bowel continence anyway with having DID, so it's more like accepting and dealing with reality. Sorry if this is TMI. Most of our little alters were never potty trained to begin with. We were kept in diapers until middle school, I only stopped wearing them before 8th grade, because no one ever felt like potty training us and I finally "trained" myself--myself as an alter, not all of me. Alters formed after that training were also trained, for the most part. Bio parents were too messed up all the time, foster parent diapered us when we wet the bed and decided to leave us in them, then shipped us to our aunt's with several boxes of them and our aunt kept us in them until we went to school and when we wet ourself at school shamed us for not being potty trained and put us back in them. We basically stayed in them unless she got sick of dealing with the trash (though from 7 or so I took the trash out and dragged the cans to the road) then she'd take us out of them and we'd mess our pants and she'd put us back in them bc she realized she traded trash for flimsy cloth diapers. Even when I trained myself, we would still wet or mess the bed to the point that it bothered my partner enough to put towels under me and buy a mattress protector. I either spent 30 minutes on the toilet waiting or I was rushing to the john. I had very little warning sensation for needing to pee, too, I voided at specific times when I expected to need to go. I had a passive obsession with diapers and used to lurk the old site a decade ago, but I wasn't aware of my DID or my system and that the urge was from littles and that I had trauma that made it not shameful to need them. My partner bought some but I was ashamed that she had hit the nail on the head and afraid of giving up control and never getting it back and we couldn't afford it so I repressed it more. That was 8 years ago, two years later I found out about my DID, and then the littles started wanting them more and more and we purged regularly until 2021. After 2021 we started holding regular internal votes on maintaining 24/7 so it's not a purging situation, necessarily, it was mostly about cost, since we had to move in 2021 were supporting our roommate some of the summer 2022 before they got a job and we've been trying to save up money, and if I had been 24/7 I would've been using up my savings budget. I was getting a few cases at a time from Northshore with my FSA when I felt like I could justify it, meaning we got so tired of having wet pants that it just made sense to get back in diapers for a bit. One of our alters, every time we ran out said ok this is it I'm going to be a serious adult and be fit and buy clothes we have to wear without diapers. But that again never panned out because our bladder is shot from going 24/7 for Jan-June Aug-Oct 2021, Jan-June August October December 2022, it shrank and she couldn't go for the length of walks she wanted. we got her a lot of pullups so she can still do her active stuff. Otherwise, with the new job, we won't ever have to run out or worry about running out and we work from home so we can plan around the full incontinence.

Yeah, it's DID, i just didn't want to outright say it.

My incontinence is the direct result of age regression due to dissociation. I have a couple littles at various ages. One regressed to infancy after the death of our mom and dragged some of the teens down with her. There's a toddler about 3, a 5 year old me, I was homeschooled and diapered until 11 and 12 so I have alts around those ages (who are really more like 5-7 mentally) who still need to wear. With all the littles needing diapers, whenever they're around the teens need them too bc it affects all of us and they get really ashamed of it, but have started to come around.

So my last post was about how I had been wearing for a few months and was gonna have to stop because I was getting a new roommate, but I never came back to updated it. It turns out its not a problem for her, as long as we manage it bc she has an adjacent kink anyway. With that said, I've been wearing on and off for most of the year since she moved in. Mostly stopping due to activity levels, money, or shame. Cadence has been something like 2-3 months on 2-4 weeks off. Every time I stop my bladder control is worse off than before. At first it was just urges becoming more frequent or dissociating when walking around and nearly wetting unprotected. Then I started having small accidents in my pants, more than dribble wet spots, like straight up boom I started going bc I wasn't thinking about it. I went through a lot of laundry and decided to go back in them through the holidays. I wet the bed once and had to dry out my futon, which was the breaking point. I wore through December, but then for new year's a part of me decided we were gonna be uber athletic, active, and on top of our physical health, but they went too hard all at once and that bacfired, and ended up siezing our thighs and calves. But we were still in grown up pants during that time and our bladder control was wayyy worse, having to go every 15 or 30 minutes and needing to wear liners to keep us dry. Then forgetting its just a liner and flooding.... Anyway, we got a new job and our FSA just turned over, so we're gonna burn through our entire old FSA on diapers and when we have a cadence figured out put them on auto-ship. The new job is work from home and will pay enough for us to move to an apartment with separate bedrooms and hardwood floors so I don't have to worry about leaking. Also will pay us enough that we never have to worry about running out of diapers again. I also found someone local on an abdl personals page and it seems like we get along pretty well so I might have moral support too and a safe space to regress. Once we start getting paid from the new job I'm gonna cut up and throw away all our old undies and never ever ever look back!!!

A friend who's the daughter of another friend is gonna end up homeless and one a my grownup alters offered to let her stay with us bc someone helped us when we were homeless and we swore if we ever had the chance we would. But i have been wearing constantly for a couplke months now and when I went down to visit her mom last weekend I almost wet the bed in my sleep. She knows I wear but I didn't there wear because I knew there would be a birthday party with other family there, including her daughter. I also had a close call when I was in public when i was with her, we started to disociate and I felt myself go a little but a grownup alter took control back. So I started wearing when I got back home, but when I took stock and realized I need to reorder soon, I also realized that we're gonna have a roommate soon and have to stop wearing. It's not like we can hide our stuff, we live in a studio. It's not like we can keep the trash just in our room, it's one big room we're gonna have to share with her. We are taking her in despite that because we know we can stand to share the space we have (we've shared smaller spaces) and its better for her than being homeless. I might be able to keep some stuff around and only wear them a little bit and keep it hush hush, I also might be able to say I'm needing them bc I wet the bed (and its easier than switching from diapers AND underwear, idk). If she sees them or i start having accidence then maybe we can talk about how i wear them and see if she's ok with it.

idk if like no one knows or cares to mention Medline Extended Wear. I can get about 5 hours of slow drip with about 3 full wettings (not floodings) before they start to leak, and I get them in Medium for $1.40/diap after tax on the Medline At Home site. They're like slightly less comfy MegaMax Airs with about half the capacity.

It would be better to say I only finally stopped poopin my pants when I was 15, being put in diapers on and off until I stopped. Then when I got in high stress i would poop my pants and wet the bed in my sleep, which grossed my ex out and she wanted me in diapers for a little bit before she said enough this is too expensive. I've been pooping my pants again since I've been wearing 24/7 now that I work from home and live on my own.

Yeah I kind of figured this would be the sort of response I would get. I should probably be clear that I take a multivitamin every day and my diet is generally Very Good (and by that I mean I'm orthorexic and buy fresh food daily and waste nothing, the dino nuggies was a joke). I drink on average 2-3L of water per day, and only water. I can say with certainty this is not electrolyte related because of my experiences with my ED. My last blood work was in July and my doctor was not concerned about anything then (and I did have this going on over the summer when training). I should also probably be clear that this only happens when I'm dissociated, my sphincter is relaxed, and I'm urinating *into my diapers*. It does not happen when I am dissociated and not diapered. It does not happen when I am urinating on the toilet if I happen to dissociate there. It does not happen when I am wearing and simply dissociating. It is the mechanism of relaxing the sphincter and letting out my urine that does it, and most of the time I take advantage of dissociating to make that happen, because I have DID and a toddler alter who has no control (learned that the hard way after wetting and messing the bed when she popped into dreams), which makes it incredibly easy to get to the can't help it stage. The only way to describe it is that sometimes, in order to send the signal to relax to my bladder/sphincter, it has to cross other nerve lines in my brain/nervous system, and that's causing a misfiring of signals. If I felt it any other time than during my attempts to pursue incontinence I wouldn't be posting here, I would be making a doctor's appointment.

Hi, so I've been lurking for a little bit and 24/7 training on and off for the two years or so, and I made an account to ask this forum about some body sensations I've been having. I've been wearing 24/7 for about a month straight now (since Jan 20), aside from a few days for visiting friends. I've trained for about a month at a time on and off through last year. I'm at the point where I'm relaxed all the time and can reliably open in pretty much any position except sitting straight up in an office chair, when I visited my friends I had to be by the toilet constantly. If I zone out on what I'm doing I can notice the sensation of pee passing through my urethra. If I shift positions or stand up I can feel pee flood my diaper. I feel the leaks but don't necessarily authorize them bc I'm more or less constantly authorizing them. Anyway, last week I got the bladder flutters, and I had a few days where my bladder was SUPER DUPER sore and it felt like I could not release or get it to push pee out, even though it felt like there was pee in there. Not sure if my bladder was very full at all once I finally got it to open. But that's not what I want to talk about, that's just a little context. What I want to ask about is full body/nerve sensations. Sometimes when I'm relaxing, I feel tingles in my hands, feet, neck, and face. Sometimes it feels like pins and needles, other times like running water. I have a lot of times I feel running water on my leg and I'm sure I'm leaking even though I'm in a fairly fresh diaper, and may not have even wet significantly yet. My nose will go numb, my vision will blur, and it'll feel like pinpricks on my feet. What is this, is it something other people have experienced? I haven't had a history of nerve damage or prior symptoms, I stay well hydrated and I eat well (not just dino nuggets lol). I've only noticed it come on in times when I'm 24/7 for an extended period. I kinda wonder if I'm feeling my brain rewiring itself